The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1883-08-23
Gbisflfs.

Mlts Ne issghea ~ bard abe Wa afraid be
wosld burys his Socalu rtsH.
"A Nov Hstppshire doc 10 ssct frnn
hsisag ,ssmp Oae ckapus be 100 careful
whss be Gala this warn weather.
~ The ironials With Minnie Conway. who
divorced Lery 10 marry osmond Tearle 10
iAai sAe loved no, wisely hot iso swsils
We h4ve feu5d ont how !, Is ,hs, Nor.
moss can suppon irn and fifteen wives
spseoe Thcr dent have 70 hire servant
aih
Iiastip sys no couple should marry
un,ii they have cosried several yeara. This
uonld load one 70 think .ha, Eashin runs
ssds tcaAiG.a.
Us Mayor Grace Of New York, !. -
sai1. will 90 neat week 10 revisit his birth
plsoe In lrelsnd !, viii he LIKE visiting
smother ward,
"A houaekccper aaks. what 10 the
besi way 70 keep Jelly from moulding on
,opg~ Shut small boy up in The pantry
fof few moments.
The difference between Ca. and =
comma 10 that one has the claws ai the end
of The pass, While The other has the pause
al ,he end Of the clause.
Why Is coal the most extraordinary
article known 10 commerce. Because.
shea purchased. instead Of going 10 Abe
bayer, II goes 10 Tie cellar.
---It is estimated that in England 10000
somen and girls chew gum. The ties be-
tseen that country and America are grow
ing stronger every year, by gum.
Telegraph official 10 new linsman !;
.fierc you. that last operator we engaged
don't even know the alphabet Go out
and cut the wire he is working on"
The Concord school Of philosophy has
not yet determined how woman should
act when her hands are in the dough aud
an aggressive NY lights on her nose.
Down 10 Arkansas, few weeks ago, o
man was bitten by skunk and shortly af-
tor died Of hydrophobia. We should think
be would have been glad to die Of any
thing
They we're boasting OF their figures.
One said her figure wasn't like figure |
anyhow The other retorted that hers
wasn't like figure s. fgurc-eightively
speaking
DO send for the doctor, 'mother,
cries tow.headed nrchin. There's
man IN the parlor who says he'll die i'll
Aunt Jane don't marry him and she says
abe won't"
Invalid chairs" which are SO liberal
ly advertised. must be Of the style one
finds on summer hotel piazza, and tips
back in, only 10 give the ladies something
10 laugh at
1T turns out that Mrs. Langtry went
over to England to get some points for
her book on America, She was so en-
crossed with other things while here that
she forgot to look at the country herself
"A teamster in Maine conquers balky
horses by taking them out Of the shafts
and making them go round in circle
This is the only method Of producing dir
illness in Maine, which is prohibition
state.
There is one thing connected with
your hotel. said drummer to Western
landlord, THAT is not surpassed by even
the best hotels in Chicago" YES re-
piled the pleased landlord, "and what is
thaty" "rhe salt
--"Wha, Ia that you are wearing?' in
quired Farmer John Of his fair city board.
or. ''oh, that is my red Jersey" "All
right" was tho reply, "but don't go near
my brown Jersey over in that field, unless
you are good at climbing trees"
"A successful strike occurred when the
Richmond night express train struck ne
gro walking on tho track, who got a
glimpse Of the locomotives headlight just
before being landed in the woods dozen
or two yards from the track. His first
conscious words were, "For de Lords
sake. boss, who trow dat lantern at me?'
Yes" said Fogg. "Dr Pillroller is a
brave man, no doubt, but he carries his
bravery too far; he is foolhardy, sir; never
saw 80 rash man. Called him 10 see
Mrs. +. today, and he actually asked her
TO let him sec her tonguel Fact. sir.
wouldn't have believed any living man
had the courage TO meet that tongue OF
hers
A passenger on Western railroad was
shot il the abdomen by train robber, and
the ballet was found lodged In a sandwich
he had eaten at restaurant only ten min
uies before. The leaden missile was fiat
tened out as thin as a silver dime, aud the
man is expected 10 recover. II it had not
been for the sandwich. the ball would have
gone clear through him.
Il. sometimes happens At social parties
that young lady known or supposed to
be somewhat proficient ia music is re-
qnested TO entertain the company at the
piano or 10 . song. and her reply Is:
Really, you must excuse me, carnt
sing, or csrn't play. as the case may be,
but she is all the time cdging toward the
piano. and finally lands II the instrument.
Samuel ]. Tilien is one Of that kind Of :
girls
The following alleged advertisement
appears ina country weekly; 'sir fnt
class yoang men arc wanted to nirt with
the guests Of . ncigboripg summer resort
This advertisement is inserted At the re
quest Of the cutnumbering ladies, and il
would appear that here Is fne opportnn-