The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-08-31

for paying one of the many debts of
nature that churches always owe. The
festival had been extensively advertis-
ed via the pulpit and the press, two
institutions that 60 hand in hand,
especially the press. 1t was to be a
grand aggregation, combined oyster
and ice-cream festival. two shows COM
bined in one, with one price of admis-
sion, and six prices to get out. Every
thing had been arranged and the wo-
men of the church were in the base
ment, working like beavers,-that is,
we do not know as beavers ever got up
church festival, or that women ever
built beaver dam, but any way the
women were working awful, while
the men stood around in their shirt
sleeves, tasting Of an oyster here and
something else there, asking sister if
she thought there was going to be
much of crowd, ETC., and all was
business. The crowd began to arrive,
and there was hustle. We do not
mean the kind of hustle that you do,
gentle reader. We mean business.
There was business going on.
The deaconesses were flying around
with their sleeves rolled up, showing
dimples at the elbows, and vaccination
marks upon the cali of the arm, and
their cheeks were red and lips looked
so good, and wholesome, and-O, you
know how it is.
The ladies had aprons on, and their
dresses were pinned up so the deacons
could observe perhaps one stripe, as
they looked on the floor for the nutmeg
CRATER, or something that had dropped
A committee of ladies were engaged in
splitting oysters, before cooking, SC
they would go further, and another
committee was thinning the milk, SC
it wouldn't give anybody the dyspepsia
Another committee was freezing the
ice cream, the women looking on, while
the men turned the freezer. They had
been freezing the cream since foul
o'clock in the Afternoon, and here II
was seven o'clock, and the cream was
as thin as linen duster, and as free
from frigidity as when it came from
the COW or the hen. rs the case may be
The deacons put In salt, and ice, and
the more they turned the concern the
warmer the ice cream seemed to get.
The deacon perspired, and said words
that wouldn't sound good in history
Time passed and the cream would not
freeze. Girl walters came down stairs
, with orders for ice cream, and the wild.
eyed men would take off the cover and
look into the churn and find it thinner
than before. A council of war was held
in the basement and the matter was
| discussed, but no one could give any in.
formation that would freeze the cream
Finally one old deacon, who had been
working the freezer for three hours,un.
til every bone in his body ached, and
} who sat on the bottom step of the stairs
with coffee sack thrown over his
shoulders to keep from taking cold, and
moping the perspiration from his brow
arose and said, that desperate diseases
required desperate remedies. He said
if that cream couldn't be induced to
freeze, the church was at least beat out
of twenty dollars. He SAID there was
only one way. "Send for my wife!'
said he rs he sank back, weeping. The
mans wife was up stairs waiting on
, a table, and a sister rushed up stairs to
her and told her at once. as her hus-
band was in terrible state. The good
woman dropped a lot of soup plates,
and rushed down stairs, and found her
husband looking as though he had been
playing base ball match,
"For Heavens sake, Henery. what
is the matter?" said the darling wife,
as she kneeled at his feet, and took
his blistered hand in her own soft
,
palm.
Harriet said he. as he put his hand
on her auburn hair to get 1t warm,
Haven't always been good husband
to you?"
She admitted that he had as far as
she knew, though he had repre-
hensible habit of going down town
nights.
"Then," SAID he, II have only one
favor to ask. We have been trying for
three hours to freeze that cussed ice
cream. If it wasn't for the church,
wouldn't ask it, but Harriet something
must be done. Now If you will take
off your shoes and stockings. and put
your feet in that ice cream freezer, you
can freeze that cream in two minutes,
and we are saved
There was noise as of a ward caucus
breaking up in row, and a wild-eyed
deacon might have been seen going
around that room in the basement
trying to dodge chirs, and plates and
cups, and sausers, and when he got to
the door, a soup toureen took him on
, the head, he went out into the wide
world and went hom6 in his shirt