The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-02-02
WHY QUIMBY sWORE OFF.

WHY QUIMBl SWORE OFF.
Jack Quimby awoke with bad head
ache. This was no new sensation to
Mr. Quimby. 1t was old as the eternal
hills, for Jack was a bibulous soul, and
his head was not proportionate to his
inclination for strong waters. He loved
drink, not for its own sake, but for the
mad merriment the bowl provoked, the
song, the Jest, and the anecdote, the
maudlin fraternal embrace, and the
pledges of everlasting friendship He
occupied a responsible position in a
Front street ofce-for despite his deep
and Unsuitable thirst, Quimby was an
excellent man of business.
81 look, said Mr.. Quimby, as he rue
fully surveyed his crimson countenance
in hand glass, Il look like billed owl.
Or the last run of shad. Or the break
ing up Of hard winter. This won't
do; I'll have to swear off, or the cold
and silent grave will soon claim this
manly form for its own" and jack s
eyes suffused with tears, for the fumes
of the last round of night-caps were by
no means dissipated.
There never was a better Christian
ruined by drink than the undersigned
he continued, and then, as his eyes lit
ON bottle on the bureau he said, with
q deep sigh of gratitude: Thank
Heaven, there is q sniiter to brace up
on"
Mr.. Quimby's toilet was slow and
painful this morning He looked at the
cold water with shudder, but finally
worked himselfup to the washing point.
He was q long time in getting his collar
buttoned, he dared not shave, though
he usually performed that Office every
day, and he marked with groan that a
new pimple had taken its place on his
forehead,
Clearly" said Quimby, 81 must
swear of. There are only five days left
of December Then the new year and
piety," and much consoled by the self
promised reform, he left his room to
make feeble apology for breakfast.
A few hours later and Mr.. Quimby was
himself again, 1t had taken much arti-
ticia aid to bring his restoration about,
but Mr.. Quimby played the good
Samaritan to himself with the most lib
eral cheeriulness. "a hair of the doc, ,
was one of his most cherished maxims.
The trouble was that he began with the
hair, and usually concluded with the
whole hide
"If" he often remarked to his con-
tidants, {" could keep cold sober for
twenty-four hours together, l do not
think | wo Id find much trouble in
swearing or" And then he'd recite
1.-The Vagabonds y with tears stream
ing down his cheeks, and dwell with in
finite pathos on the lines:
"You should have seen these classic feat
You need not scoff, sir l was not then
Such burning libel upon Gods creatures
was one of your handsome men,"
Despite his potations he was hand
some, and the burning libel part Of the
poem, so fur as he was concerned, was
purely imaginary. s."
Two young and pretty girls sat in a
handsome mansion on California street.
1t was not Mob Hill, but near enough
to breathe the aristocratic atmosphere
of that locality, One, a blonde, was
making a mouchoir case for q New
Year S present. And on the lid her
fair fingers were ombroideling the
initials j. Q.
IL cannot imagine howyou endure
that fellow, Al ce,'' said the other.
He never comes near me without re-
minding me of spice factory, Why,
he must exist ON. cloves, and cinnamon,
and that sort of thing / am sure he
drinks | have heard him talk so
strangely, and one night he began a
song, and burst out crying in the mid
die of it: Bob had to take him into
the hall. He could hardly walk. Bob
said it was his emotions, but am sure
it was whisky, or some horrid drink. y
Nonsense" said Alice Benton.
Jack is so finely str No that the least
thing affects him. Jack is dear fell
low, is Jack. SO good-hearted and
clever. They adore him at the club. /"
Perhaps So rejoined her friend;
"tut it must, take a fortune to keep
him in cloves By-by / must get
down town TO match that lace. And
with one Of those natty little love-vou-
tor-your-mother ksEes that girls ex-
change, Pessie Morris skipped away.
Alice put another stitch in the curl of
the j, and examined it critically. Then
she sighed, put her work aside, and fell
into fit OF detected musing. "Jack
does drink horribly she said; II wish
| was not so fond of him.n Then. re-
pentantly, her woman's loyalty assert
ing itself: "That is, l mean wish |
could cure him. Yet he has SO often
promised me to swear off, as he calls it:
but l fear swear Off and swear on are
all the same to poor Jack. ! am run
ming q fearful fisk, they tell me, in
marrying him. But what can do?
can not give him up. Iwould not if ]
could. And can not reform him. .
And Alice, in true feminine fashion, be-
gan to cry.
Tears, idle tears, | know not what
We mean, cried a merry voice in her
ear, and a tall, manly young fellow
caught away her hands, and laughed
heartily at her look of distress. How
now, coz" he said soothingly, "what
has gone wrong? Are there to be no
calls this yearg Does the stern papa
legislate that the basket shall be hIlno.
on the outer wall, and no beau allowe
to taste our cake and wine? Outwitb H.
Tell me all, and by yonder drowsy DO.
liceman on the corner, swear to right
our wrong3.n 500
"Oh, Charley" said his cousin, cit is
all about Jack. You know his irregular