The Columbus journal., 1883-11-14
G MASH.

SPELLING.SCHOOL MASH.
s.About the worst / was ever bothered
In my life. bows" said old Jake Palmer,
as he leaned against his ,.favOrite lamp
post, surrounded by his favorite crowd
of listeners, twas the time l took Miriam
dy Westbrook home from spelling
school,"
Here he stopped and waited for a
solicitation to continue the story, for old
Jake was a man who wouldn't thrust
the stories of his youthful adventures
upon the public without being requested.
well, how was it?" asked q by
SANDER.
In tell YOU" said Jake. '.You see
] hadn't ever gone with a girl before,
and l wouldn't have gone that time if
one of my chums hadn't asked her in
my place, first. Ike Walker, he asked
her if she wouldn't let Jake Palmer 60
home with her that night, and she said
she would if he'd ask her himself, so
Ike, he came and told me what she said
and her there was no way for me to
get out of it. This happened at recess.
and after recess was over l couldn't
hardly spell, l trembled so. They give
me the word .meaner'. to spell and I
thought it was .Mirandy' and it made
me blush fearfully; l thought it vas q
put up Job to make me spell her name.
/ thought Ike had given me away, and
I made up my mind to lick him after
seem Mirandy safe home. l made a
pass at the word, for / knew I'd have it
TO do sometime. and / might a S well
commence first as last. Ican't say just
how 1 did spell it, but l know they
whooped and yelled for about five min
utes all over the house. / think / spelled
1t Observation-Disclosures and hen /
forgot and pronounced her whole name,
'Mirandy Westbrook'. Great Cesar!
they liked to have split my ears with
their hollerin' and yellin'. Well, I
spruced up and looked as brave as /
could over it. and after a while we were
dismissed. Ike, he came ver and said,
.Now's yer chance, Jake. She's standin'
all alone by herself up yonder.' l
wanted to hit him then. for l thought he
was to blame about that word, but l was
afraid TO get into n rumpus forfear that
would spoil my chances for seein' Mi
randy home, so SHE'D up to her as easy
as l could and said. Ike Walker says
there's chance for me to see you home
tonight. How is it,"
81 told him You might 90, if you'd
come and ask me about it YOURSELF she
answered.
".Well, sez /, I've come and asked
you, haven't I?' and she said / had, and
it was all right. but | must promise one
thing and that was never to let her pa
and ma know it, for they didn't low her
to have company, and her pa didn't like
me very well anyhow for THROWN q
stone and KILN one of his hogs the day
they got into our corn-field. l told her
that there wasn't any danger of me
calm her pa up out of bed to tell him
about seem his oldest girl home, SO she
and l linked arms and started. If the
BOYS did some tall holierin' when /
missed that word, it was nothin' to the
terrific yellin' they done when Mirandy
and me passed out of the door. 1t was
worse than the day of Judgment. After
we had gone on a little ways Mirandy
said I'd get used to it after a while and
wouldn't mind it. Is'pose she meant
the hollerin', but I'd sooner have sworn
off than gone through with it again.
After We got a good piece away from the
school house we'd have got along first
rate if il hadn't been for some kids about
ten years old that was goin' the same
road, and kept goin' over some rhyme
or other about me. such as
".Mr. Palmer
You must not alarm her
BY aSkin' her to marry
Such a poor farmer
".Bandly-legged Jake
Stole a piece of cake
And was beaten with a stake
And all such silly n~onsensical rhymes
they kept botherin' us with. till l turned
round and was gOin' TO ketch two of
them and bump their heads together,
but Mirandy told me to come on and
hot be such a calf as to mind them. l
hardly knew what TO think of that. but
lguess it was through her love for me
that she said ii. she was so anxious to
have me stay with her all the time.
"Well, just when we got to old man
Westbrook's house it commenced rainin' |
like blue blazes. l never saw it pour
SO hard in my life. Mirandy went in to
See if the old folks were gone to bed, |
and came out again and said I'd be safe
enough to come In and wait till the rain
was over if l kept mighty still, and if it
wasn't oyer yet when her brother came |
home, / must hide some place, or he |
would tell on me. l went in and set
down at n r of the fireplace and
Mirandy she set down in the other, and |
We set and looked at the fire and at |
each other for a long time and listened
to the rain beatin' against the winders. |
There was an empty chair setting |
t'other side of Mirandy pretty close to
her, so / concluded I'd better 90 and
set down on that. 1t would be moro
We couldn't talk. So / went across and
ret down, never noticin' the rice puddiu'
that had been set on the chair in a crock
10 cool. The chair hadn't any bottom
In it, but had a hoard across where the
bottom ought to we been, and one end
Wa nearly off; and when 1 set down
in the rice puddin', which was pretty
warm vet, the end of the board
slid off one side of the chair,
and me and the board and the
puddin' went crashin' down through
and struck on the cat, which was layin'
under the chair takin' anap. The racket
all comm on the cats back walked her
up, and:she set up such 3 yowlin' that it
walked the dog-and between the yowlin'
Of the cat and the howlin' of the dog,
and my knockin' around and tryin'
70 get loose, and Mirandy's laughin',
the old folks came a rollin' into the
room like a thousand of brick and saw
me stickin in the frame of that old
chair with my toes rubin agin' my
face, and the crock on the floor and me
settin' in the crock, while the nice rice
hat they lowed to've had for dinner the
mt day was splsttered all around on |