Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-07-07
LOVE AND HoUsE-cLEAN1Na.
BIZ AMY RANDOLPH.

he died in q lunatic asylum! Slippers In the
bureau drawer, In my best shirt; inkstand under
the bed; dressing-gown nobody knows where;
chairs all tied up in holland wrappings and
nothing to sit on but the top Of hat-box! And,
worse than all, carpets ruthlessy wrenched up.
and floor all deluged with damp soapsuds,
enough to give man rheumatism and neural
gia for the whole remaining term OF his natural
life. Job might have had great many trials to
test his patience-I haven't doubt of that
but there was one trial he didn't have never
read in Scripture that Jobs wife cleaned house!
Ihat 8 a modern aggravatiOn. mean to marry
nice girl, and make 1t a stipulation beforehand
that we won't turn our house upside down. on
principle, twice year,"
MIR. Merton solilOquized thus, as he stood be-
fore the Mirror smoothing his brown curly
locks with his fingers, in lieu Of the hair brush
which no amount Of search had proved available
In finding.
Not so bad looking after ALL in spite of his
seven and-thirty years, he could not but tell
himself as he stood there. Dark brown hair
waved at the ends, bright hazel eyes, clear
complexion, albeit somewhat touched with
brown; and square chin, cleft with q deep
dimple In the center. An old bachelor, but as
there Is hope. and the aggravated torrents Of
life In q clearinghouse were slowly but surely
driving him toward his destiny.
Old Mrs. Grimshaw. the landlady, was at the
head OF the vesper banquetng table pouring
out a decoction of weak tea into an array Of
Clipped stone-china cups as Mr.. Merton en-
tered She greeted him with happy SMILE
"Of course, Mr.. Merton, you're quite delight
ed to see how finely we have got along cleaning
'No, ma'am, I'm mott" our hero made answer
gruffy Il regard house-cleaning as an nven-
ton of the Evil One, and don't care who knows
it,"
The assembled gentleman of the establish
ment murmured unanimous consent; the assem-
bled ladies rolled up their eyes and wagged
their teaspoons In piOus horror.
Dear me, sighed the landadv. show peculiar
men are! My dear. departed Grimshaw never
breathed word Of objection to spring clean
ing; In fact. he used to help me at white
washing, and papered the walls with his own
hands,'
Sand he died, didn't he. ma amp" interrogated
Merton.
Eyes. he died." said Mrs: Grlmshaw. "but it
was OF govt in the stomach, and at the age Of
fitty-two!"
"Ah!" said Mr.. Merton sepulchrally. "And
there's no saying how much longer he might
have lived, 1T hadn't been for spring cleaning"
Nothing Of the kind" cried Mrs. Grimshaw
indlgna ntly, and she began a detailed account
OF the symptoms and signs which had accompa-
MED the last days Of the deceased Grimshaw,
to the ladies Immediately around her, under
cover OF which Mr.. Aerrion swallowed his tea
and effected his escape. -
"A man must be made Of cast-iron to endure
this sort of thing much longer" said he to him
self, strolling out into the May air. 81 won't
continue solitary, alone In the worlds great
procession any longer. I'll become q married
man."
Four blocks of, in cozy little old-fashloned
house, whose original self Ofred brick was nearly
concealed by wings, additions and bay-windows,
all covered with trumpet-creeper, wisteria, and
brown-stemmed hOney-suckle, dwelt pretty
young widow, sweet-voicedj rosy, and passing
fair to look upon.
I,ll propose to Mrs Tyson" said our hero,
'and III do 1t at once"
Mrs. Tyson was not at home, but the servant
maid who opened the door was quite certain
that If Mr.. Merton would only walk In and wait
few minutes, her mistress would return
80 Mr.. Merton walked In the sunny room
where the puzzy-cat lay purring on the rug be-
fore the fire, and window stand full of daffo-
widows open portfolio, with sheets of lavender
paper strewn about, betokened her most recent
occupation
SAN ideal" said Mr.. Merton. ri never was
quick at turning sentence, and it is decidedly
awkward to go down upon ones knees. "Tll
write the eventful question"
MY dear Mrs. Tyson-WHl you marry me?
And will you accept my assurances OF sincere
devotion. now and for alp 1 am now an elo-
quent man, but 1 believe could make any
woman happy who loved me, and whom I
loved Ofthe latter fact / am quite certain In
regard to You; of the former, it remains for you
to assure me.
81 shall meet you at Mrs Grimshaw's to-mor-
row evening. She has told me you are coming
10 Tea. II you answer the first question asked
you Yes l shall know that you love me; II
otherwise, shall not press my suit.
''Y0urs Truly,
"JoHN MERR1oN
"P.S.-Weuld you mind entering into an
agreement never to clean house after we are
married? have horror Of house cleaning"
MI Merton sealed up his letter. inwardly be-
waillng himself over the big blot he had drop
ped, like an inky tear, on the words, 'Yours
"But It's bad luck to write a thing Of that
kind twice over" he said to himself. superscrb-
ing the letter, "Mrs. Cora Tyson" and placing
1t where her eye would be certain to light upon
1t the first thing.
And then he took his departure.
1t was quite dusk when Mrs. TYSON came in
the hall an hour afterward, and the servant
maid was lighting the hall gas.
PLEASE, ma'am. there's q gentleman In the
sitting-room to see you" said the lass, as Mrs.
Tyson entered.
"who is it?" asked the widow,
But the lassie Of the blue ribbons did not
know. and when Mrs. Tyson entered the room
nobody was there but puss and the plants.
HE must have gone away, ma'am, said the
servant maid.
"He'll come again. dare say, If he wants to
see me very much, said the widow, and, quite
unconscious Of the billet-doux awaiting her
glance, she tumbled all the papers together into
the portfolio, and put 1t on the top shelf of the
library.
kitty" she said to the servant, "come and
heip me clear away all these things. Mrs. Flan-
agan Is coming early tomorrow morning to
clean house, and We must be ready for her."
Hapless John Merrfon! Here was the shadow
OF house cieaning once again darkly brooding
over his life!
Mrs. Tyson came to Mrs. Grimshaw's to tea
the next evening" looking very bewitching In
her shining black silk dress, hair to match, with
cherry cheeks and velvet-brown eyes, Merrion's
brow frightened as he walked up to her. Did
she Plushi He thought she did, littte-but
she put out her hand quite unconcernedly What
elegant actresses these women are!
Don't you think It's pleasant EVENING""
said Mr.. Merton, with fate trembling on the tip
Of his tongue.
mo, don't" answered the widow. lifting her
long eyelashes. 81 think we shall have rain:
and I'm sorry, for we have just commenced
Mr.. Merton dropped the little hand suddenly
as II his own hand had been stricken with palsyi
Mrs. Tysons answer had killed the two birds of
bis hearts hope with one stone! He had got his
quietus, and he might as well 60 about his bust
ness at once!
"They're all alike" pondered our hero mood
lily. They would any one of them immediate q
mqns nos ri yynnr fhnv int 80