Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1883-04-12
ALTERNATIVES.

A Love story.
Are there no underwriters for human
hopes? for the most precious of in
terests is there no insurance?
l had been tempted all day, tempted
by fate and the devil. All summer
long | had been trying to clasp hands
for life journey with a man did not
love; man noble of soul and born to
the purple, who set up his high lineage
against my poor gifts Of beauty and
song. He threw some love into the
scales, too, but |, God help me, had
none to give in return. had bartered
erewhile my whole possessions for a
few glances of n dark, dark eye, and
my note had gone to protest.
Could |, could |? 1t kept following
me about with fateful persistency, for
tonight was to give my answer to
my high-born lover.
| tried to look things in the face, to
count the cost.
Money was n good thing; il insured
one warmth in Winter and delicious
GOODNESS in Summer, and preltiness
and daintineSs, and the entrance into
good society. Yes, money was u good
thing, and position and power, and
houses and lands. So far good; but
nay soul hungered and thirstsd for q
love commensurate with my own,
which this man, who offered me purple
and gold, had it not in his power to
give, or, let me qualify that, had it not
in his nature to give.
The stars came out golden and soft, ,
and the fragrant Summer-dusk crept
around me where | sat inhaling the
scent of the roses. Ambition and love
tore my heart by turn, and weariness,
too, put in a poor, pitiful plea, for
was so tired, 50 tired.
1t was a brilliant future that Rcgin-
aid Dacrc offered me, wherein toll and
WEAKNESS could never come. Thought
of the purple and fine linen; the luxuri-
ous rest; tho emolumentS! Then my
daily life passed in review before me-
that of companion to naughty, fine
lady, and singer in n fashionable
church, among fashionable saints and
sinners. | began to Groom over the
old satire:
In church which is garnlshed with mullion
and gable,
With alter and reredos, with gargoyle and
groin,
The penitcnts' dresses are scalskin and
fable,
The 0dor OF sanctity's eau lie cologne.
But surely II Lucifer, flying from IIades,
Could gaze at this crowd, with its paniers
and pants,
He would say, looking round at the lords and
the ladies',
o where is All Sinners if this is All Saints,
| had entered upon this life from an
unloved and unloving home, n home
dol d quite me by the tardy justice Of
granduncle who had robbed me of
my inheritance. | thought at first
might find the sangreal somewhere in
this new country, which seemed so
fair, but alas! | had not even heard the
swish of wings.
| thought of it all-the fever AND the
fret; the petty jars; the miSunder-
standings; the pain of Incompetent
sion; the unguerdoned toll; tho laying
hours; the awful pauses.
This or marriages; this or marriage.
1t seemed written like a nlacard on
earth and sky. 1t seemed bound like
upon the brows of the peo-
pie as they passed TO and fro; and soon
the word marriage lost all its signifi-
cance for me, as words do after oft re-
peatng. Did it mean misery or hap
piness, bliss or woe? This marriage
that rung its changes through my brain
was it God-appointed? Did it mean
God blessing or His curse?
You know [ did not love this man
who offered me rest from my labors.
He had not powerto evoke one thrill at
his call. But then, love is only one
reason why one should marry q man.
There might be love and plenty of
money, and yet one go hungry all ones
life. have known such things.
had tried to make my life straight
and fair. had tried to keep clean
hands and n pure heart; tried-God,
who knows the secrets of all hearts,
KNOWS this-to fght despair.
. Long, green days,
Worn bare Of grass and sunshine; long calm
nights,
From which the silken sleepswere fretted out
BE witness for me.
We see through shadows all our life
long. We come into the world without
our being given choice as to our adj
vent, and go out of it in the same
We have not heen consulted as to
birth or death. More and more the
prayer of Epictetus haunts me, "Lcad
me, Zeus and Destiny, whithersoever
am appointed to go; | will follow with
out wavering; even though turn cow
ard and shrink, shall have to follow
all the same"
Should marry Mr.. Dacre? Was he
q good partiP as the world said. Too
good for me, as my lady elegantly
phrased it.
/ had been born into the world
amid fierce throes of mental anguish.
the pain of her travail my
mothers heart was rent with the great
Or pain of my fathers sudden death
off the Cornish coast, for
was born at sea. She lived unit was
EN- years old, life of sorrow, and pow
,rty, and remuneration. Then she died,
eaving me to the care of q compe ssion-
lte world and my uncle. OF him /
iave already spoken.
My life dragged on with clogged
wheels. Twas always at war with my
surroundings. Though too proud to
cypress 1t, had never realized my
deal Of womanhood, or in any way
,rown up to my aspirations and. dreams.
Z l had grown at all it had been
trough pain and repression--a fatal
hing always for warm-hearted, earn.
'st woman.