New-York tribune., 1883-06-17

i c0l0r-n0W even attempt 10 describe
| Tyndal himself would have been puzzled ey any
Retrospective process of analyZaton to have decided
| upon its correct classification; for though nom
inay cotton it appeared sort OF exceptional faorc
woven as to color out of faded showers and
| archaeological whirlwinds woofed with dus,, whiIe
the different compartments forming the circle were
| so eathern and bulky that they gave one the luea
| of being made out of the wings OF BroDdlhgnus
bats; for of course in Brobdingnag the nie nJee
We're as big in proportion as the al peGhpls fhsss
| Tapping bats wings were kept together by tape
strings in color width, and texture being an ao
that DARK, ,dingy dull bronze green which thSrench
| call glduqne. However strenu0usly the ola DIowh
surtout might have disowned the sott ifips1 ts col
ment,' this umbrella was evidently one OF us col
| lateral relations. But the most extraOidintaii;S ~;
thing about it remains to be told which Is Inat us
owner was actually proud of it, not TO say 'aih-
'Ahp ? said he. seeing my eyes fixed on TINS
meteorological proDlem-'ah this has been woon n
derfuy serviceable umbrella 1t has been al over
the world with me. People are always compiaining
of their umbrellas being stolen from them oro oe'
have been wonderfully fortunate IN this onnei
have never lost il even 10 lodgings and hotels.
That / could easily believe. Despite the WIND,
which was very high, few large drops OF ram
weed strings aud thereby entanglng them ore l,ore
hopelessly than ever, till he found them more
knotty than any problem In Euclid, MI. So Lando,,
whose impetuosity ALWAYS for cutting G0rdlan
knots, with supreme effort broke the refractory
strings, and, with AN air of triumph fully warranted
by colossal achievement, unfurlod this pom
derous piece of Itnerant shelter. But, alas! the
wind soon became a perfect hurricane. and mp
turned the wonderful umbrella like Patagonlan
wine-glass, as II it thought the falling RAIN was
nectar that the gods had split. But even thlS
classical deusion on the part of the umbrel la did
not sufficiently enlist its owners sympathy 10
mollfy hun; so, with his lett foot thrown back,
ward and his right firmly planted forward. DIS nead
thrown back in the attitude of Ajax defying the
lightning he stood shaking the umbrella with that
sort of Dont-suppose-y you H. -make-me-
vengeance With which a bulldog shakes cap
tured rat This mode of wagng war with me
Of Nv mazda ha ter moi
rious, and inflated the extemporized cotton WINE
glass ten times more. The whole scene was so m
conceIvably ludicrous that 1t was fortunate the
little artist was not there, or am very certain nc
would have rolled on the grass IN convuslonsi
At length l got Mt LandOr to Listen listen
our steps and get home as soon as possible by whlch
means we should be turning our backs to the VINO
and so Obtain more power oyei the uinorelia, wnch
Apparently weary, as he might well be. IRON thc
energy he had avished the proceeding OF threat
ening Jupiter by brandishng this Formidable
weapon at the clouds. he made it over to me-. and
by planting the handle in the ground. and taking
little time with both hands over each OF the whale
bone ribs. ! at length succeeded-though not qulte
as dexterously a japanese juggier might have
done-in reconverting tho .wineglass back INTO a9
umbrella. Any person not knowing me cause; ana
ment, might have supposed, from the vrhemence
and exaggerated enthusiasm of Mr.. Landors
eul. gums that had then and there been not only
the rst inventor but the first practical ntizer. OF
the electric telegraph. which was not at that time
fait dccompH. .,
ell you have the most wonderful mechanical
genius ever 81 W IN the wool Iwhoe) course OF my
life perfectly wonderful! Now | couidht nave
done that had my life depended on it,
And In this hyperbocal strain he continued, tlll
left hun At his own door, renewing II through Inc
whole of dinner-for he dined with me that DAY,
and 81 did the Avcncls who were not % lttie
amused at my wonderful mechanical genius-ull
we all became little tired "f ~
T 'iwant t' 10 ask Mr Landor to dinner to-morrow,
but | am Obliged to ask Mr q; and really Mr.
Landor does laugh at him and Is so horrioiy rude
to him that quite dread H. Tor oil course he WONT
mind Fred: aud the Admiral. who does keen him
little in order, is away. wish you would speak e.
Mr. LandoT. and get hlm to promise bat as we shall
be ouite en- petit cOnK | do nope he won't skin
poor Dir Q. alive with his scathing rdicue iprom-
ised to undertak' the negotiation and ~ The
course of the evening when pretty Ro e AVenei
had charmed HIM iutO perfect good uuinOr with
'Casta Diva, opened my mission with aueRree OF
smlaOle and reckless candor mat count biSinafGk
III ght have mistaken for his own. fOr afitr b.
had accepted Mrs Aveners invitation said
Now M Landor You will be deprived of my dc
ligntfu society unless you VIII faithfully promise
me one thing
nav on demand three millions stcr,ing.'
% il is much easier tban that, what want you |
to PROMISE. anu not half costly. 1t Is thlt you
will pleage yourself not 10 cut uD poor Nj. e. utO
sucn a mlncrmeat of ri iicnle as you always oo'
HIS first answer 10 TINS wasa I0hd Toarnf laughter
such as he always exploded ~ AT merely Tue men
100 Of Mr.. Q.s name; and AS soon as lie could
speak, he said,
And you call that not costly. when the richest
thing IN the world is a b6chdHei Of z Well. we'll
promise III be on my best nenaVlof; IN short III
be quite complimentary. ~ 49,
No no: All compliments are forbidden fruit III |
that quarter, for 1t s too much ior mortal giaVy
10 hear your treach Ironi, al teTy. an0 listen
TO the poor unconscious victim IN MS lntc tLn |
attenudted voice. tnat seems as moih-ra:en as his
his face looks, thanking YOU win " Pm snrr, Mr.
LandOr, ieei highly hattered al your praise.
Tia, la, la! Wen, tnen, only Ureck and Latin
quotations. lla, ha, la! e-,
Most decidedly not; above all, and before all, !
P bar them; and # you won't make 49, honest |
Donade. unconditional and unt qulVOcal pTOulhr o
good behavior, and tnat You wii not bo guilty OF
LSe O., why then there Is nonug Tor II Uut Tor me
TO employ my wonderful mechanical genus IN con-
structlug muZzie for y"u thai shall ary
tamperlDg with as e1ectually as eyer the iron
mask DID.
After a few more reiterated roars at poor Mr. Qs
expense, which was on tAe sane plan As when tn'
Russian sIedQe dogs have "a long journey ana many
days fast before them, they are allowed 10 consume
several meals IN one, Mr. LandOT, having laugrd 10
his hearts content, Internationally promised good
behav or Tor the next day..
blcd AT Mrs Ayenels. that always tdHt soft pea im
practicable nalf-hOur before dInner' was a ner-
gous ordeal for all f0r though Mr.. Landor hal
greeted poor MIR q. with perfect good breeding yet
upon that parsonage having. while contemplating
a recently inlshcd portrait OF tine youngest Miss
Ayenel delivered himself of one oil those lIttle Ia
nocuous ana coDtTOver, Ibe truIsIns which he
was IN the habit of launching on
the stream of cOnverSatIOn-vz. An, very
lovely inde e.dl Very likc-tbcre is the smile; but
where is the voice An. If we could only max II
speak FL TO my horror. perceived the twitching
OF Mr. Landors mOu h. winch was sort OF a mus !
cuiar shock tnat always preceded of his rilble
earthquakes
But lie saw was looking at him. so he commutcd
If INTO a bland smile. and. with courteous bo g to
the Poet o. as If ne had been paving him some
well. termed compliment, SAID An Mr e., You, !
indeed may be able to command as permanent H.
stitulIOn, even III ettgy,
Dulce rideniem Laagen amabo,
Dulce iOqsntem.
But il is not given to us ordinary moltals to do so
An true, 80 veIy true!' sad the Poet @, shut |
ting eye and shaking his heat solenniy. THIS !
neariy proved fatal 20 all, but more especially !