The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-01-07
STOLEN smlLrs.

A Yale man Is 80 color blind that he
ohummed around with negro all one dny
under the impression that he was merely
little tanned from exposure ON the ball hcih'
When the peeler iished him out OF the
gutter the soaked gentleman observed
don know wcz1er twas le good dinner or
10 bad sidewalk BOie ON EN- s'lushes you
see.'
The dreadful thought that has haunted
the country of late that Oscar Wilde would
eventually become fixture here, like the
threc-hen1ed girl aud the fat woman, may
now be dismissed,
| TIE Philadelphia brewers propose raising
| the price Of beer because hops are dear.
Most people will regard this ne trick oil
the brewers 10 make us believe that they
do use hoTs.
The time is near at hand when man il
going TO write IL "lSSj' the first time try
Ing, and be very proud over the feat and
then every other time after that for a
month he will write II 'lHs2' Us OF old.
At dance given In North Carolina tho
other day one man was stabbed, ono shot,
two dubbed, two had bones broken, ono
woman had an eye put out and the house
burned up. Those present call 1t real
old.hshioned good time.
The bloodhound OF Uncle Toms Cabin
company broke loose last week and killed
the donkey. The manager, in dire distress,
had the donkeys skin removed, aud sent
mn actor ON in II 10 peTsOnalo the part, but
the fellow, Tor the first time In his life,
, failed to make an Ass OF himself.
, Now they say the great Dismal Swamp Ia
really u very cheerful region which state
, mtnt will tend to tester II growing distrus
for the poets. Who was " that wrote
= They made her grave 100 cold ah'
damp" and other insinuatlons that thu
| ground of the locality was actually sinking
u with the nguei
., A society item says "the brides lathe
u pays for the equipments now.' Hut whn
= Is Of more importance to the groom is 1
: know who IL goiug to pay Tor the bride
. equipments nttcr marriage. In gren
" many casos II her father doesn't do It, sh
u will be- In u worse predlCament than Mis-
!, Flora Mcf'limsey of Madison Square Ut
II less she makes shirts for nifty conisa doAeI
- A valuable COW Ia Kentucky broke into
o corn field and gOrgrd herself SO that sb
.. was about to die, when II surgeon nude a
T.. IpcisIon In her side aud took out over n
isl bushels of corn, cornstalks and grass
"a Is thought that II tho COW had been hun
ia lgry he would have taken ont tue entll
,p lcorn.hpld, including seventeen panels
y lpost and rail fence, aud four white oa
las hutmps.
at A street rnlropd convention has recent
wv \ On held In Boston 1t was not decide
lis whether conductors should continue
,,n2o AT the blue vault Of heaven when
man In Fastening along through mud tv
nr, iett deep to catch the car hut the cpncl
on sion was arrived at that under no circur
stances should a car carry more than |
or pnSscngers at the same time, or stop I
ed anyone To ret oil unless the track W
he blocked up by II freight car,
cr A south end man set n steel trap In
gh cellar TO catch rats, and his m0thct-tn-li
81 gut her thumb IN 1t, aud II was bitten
ms Tho bone, and shc yelled bloody murd
iSs aud he had 10 40 down cellar and bring !
ru- up. And when he rot her up stairs =
my ,ust pranoed with pain and carried
her lrcadmlly, and he tried to console her, II
m told her II was too bad; but wuen he !
ty' the house and got round the corner fol
his were astoaiahed to see him cling tn n b
nts and go into perfect paroxySm OF mIrth.
for A reporter rang mp the office ottwo pro
last ineut physicians, els anybody ini' Y
pn- asked "Yes snr." "Whu2n ME, s.
enI Place lis pr, A, in2n Wouldn't
ow, X do sor, place" "WeN, yes" Natl
man Nv EN- ia here sor,
an The Governors "Now Tom, this v
Ivy do. come Ia al t., aud you arc not lac
the yet como in at I. AMI stitl yoU nave
Miss arrived. IL stoo Ind. your mother Il,
! IN like IT, Tom, "Neygr mind, dad,
had take YOUR part with the eva lady,
All, Nistrcsl who, desiring 10 press out 81
nnd Article, CALI to the servant ln the Kite
Idah through NJ, -."Bridget put down n
y Il iron Tor me Immediately Bridget latol
Mrs. rived at Castle Galden-"Nes, mum;
nus, yo have II hot OF unwidY'
will > ~ -. "a a.--4-a-