Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-03-31
SATURDAY. Smiles.

Most Of the hotel clerks in England are
women, but they know where the top Of the
house is, as well as the American arbiter of fate
There are men who find it impossible to love
their ne!ghbor, but their neighbours wife is quite
another thing.
TO remove dandruf-Marry. To keep gloves
clean-Wash your hands. To preserve cherries
Keep the small boys of.
A man at . hotel fell the whole length OF a
flight Of stairs. Servants rushed to pick him
up. They asked him if he was hurt. ''No." he
replied. mot at all. I'm used to coming down
that way. I'm life insurance agent. boston
Post.
The arlstocrat Is supported by his ancestors,
the pauper by his Contemporaries, and the
debtor by posterity.
Two friends meet Sunday morning as one
comes out of drug store. Hello, Charlie. out
for your morning dram?" 'Weli. no; not eX-
actly. But have no scruples about telling YOU
that am out for my morning ounce"
Two little girls met on the street the other
day. and one said to the other "Tve put all nv
dolls into deep mourning, and it's so becoming
to them! Come over and see them" "What did
you do that for?" ooh. we had c'lamity. Our
dog got killed. and there didn't anybody care but
me and them; we've just cried our eyes out ("
Then the other little girl said in slow deliberate
tones, May Wilson, amt you lucky thought
There's always something happening you'll
Detroit Post
strawberry box.-Ne,o Orleans Picd,nsne
Pucks Patent. Frenchman's translation of
not7
The Congressional Recordappeared few DAYS
ago enlarged to seventy pages. This is an un-
mistakable evidence Of prosperity, and we con-
graduate our esteemed contemporary upon its
success, which has been secured without the aid
Of patent medicine advertisements or puzzle
department; though why it should publish
speeches that were never delivered in Congress
may be puzzle department to many readers
Nos1istoUn Herald.
An unnatural grandfather: The parlor of the
mansion or Judge Ravens is adorned with the
portraits OF number OF his ancestors. The
picture OF the father Of Judge Havens repre-
sents him as an old man, while that of his grand
father was taken when he was quite young
Tom Higginson few days ago. "Why. Judge"
exclaimed Tom, In perfect amazement. your
father must have been fifty years of age before
your grandfather was born"
An American author, well known in New
YORK society, declares that he has at length
discovered the exact relative values Of men and
women. Five women, he says, are equal to six
men. Demonstration: 81 have been riding q
good deal lately in Broadway omnibus. and
Invariably observe that one Of the seats will ac-
commodate SIX men, but never more than Eve
women"
Gen. Wolfe overhearine young officer say in
very familiar manner, 'W0lfe and I drank q
bottle Of wine together" replied, 81 think You
might say Gen. Wolfe" 'No," replied the sub
altern, with q happy presence OF mind; did you
ever hear Of Gen. Achilles or Gen. Cesar"
A man uptown made q wager with q lady
that he could thread . needle quicker than she
could sharpen . leadpenctl. The man won.
Time, fourteen minutes and forty seconds It is
thought the result would have been different II
tho woman had not run out Of leadpencii inside
Of I've NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Ae-dd
Brooklyn lady, who met Mrs. Langtry In
Chicago. expressed herself - greatly charmed
BY her vfvacfty and refinement.
ibid she seem to you perfectly happy2" asked
her friend.
Perfectly"
"And what impression did her happiness leave
upon your mtnd7"
sThe impression that she was q widow"