News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-09-20
HOW HE REDUCED HIS FLESH
Send an Order for six Dinners.

: From the Arkansaw TraveIer.l
Colonel Nucklin whose great flesh be.
came a burden, declared that he would
diet himself
'Why," he said to his wife, eff keeI
on this way I'll soon be as big as DAME
Lambert. 1t all comes of my eating toe
much, and I eat too much i'll yielding tC
the demands of an enormous appetite
Now. a man can't be a free man and al
low his appetite to control him so
Mary, fix me a little dry toast and few
: ~ It's after this. TIL be hanged If Tn
going around town putting like an en-
CINE"
For several days the colonel lived on
his toast and grits. He would dream of
iuicy beefstakes and chops of tempting
tenderness. and once, on his way down
town, he unconsciously stopped in front
of a cat fish restaurant to watch hungry
negro eat boiled cabbage. Every news
paper he took up spoke of great dinners
and what certain men ate, and, stopping
once. he mechanically took up a piece of
paper that fiuttered toward him, and
crushed il. when he discovered that it
was a bill of fare. The first Sunday
night after the beginning of his trials he
attended church, where, he declared.
one could sit free from suggestions of
something to eat. He looked round at
the fat men and wondered if they were
hungry, and his mouth watered when he
suddenly remembered having seen a
roast pig somewhere during the day
The minister arO-e and began to talk
about the Lords Supper. He was i'm
aginative, and had the table stocked
with all the delicacies of the season.
He spoke of the yenisOn stew into which
the betrayer supped with his master,
and he turned the cold roast around so
the colonel could see it. Then he eX-
hibited a baked duck, and taking up n
handful of Saratoga potatoes, he scat
tered them over the table.
IN be Billy he John Drowned if can
stand this" the colonel said to his wife,
and he turned away. At supper he ate
his toast, which he declared was not
enough to tickle his throat, and he aC-
cused his wife for making no allowance
in nearing the end of the loaf. He was
determined, though, for every one who
knew Of his fast spoke of how rapidly he
was going down.
ooh. I'll stick it out" he would say.
q would" said an acquaintance ''you
are somewhat literary in your turn,
Colonel, and I suppose you derive COM
fort from Byrou's trials"
Eyes. =" the colonel replied, although
he knew no more Of Byron than quar-
antiue officer does of the yellow fever
/ germ.
/ "Bvron was not very fat, which, to-
cether with the bad condition Of his feet
male HIM an object of pity, but when he
began to diet himself his flesh went down
I gradually and became firm, while his in
/ trllpct became bright. So, Won see, yoI
. have two aims to accomplish, not saying
that your mind needs frightening. q"
"Oh. no, =" the colonel said. watching
a bov who passed with string Of fish
Thus the struggle was kept up. One
morning when the colonel sat IN IN
office a lunk tramp entered and said:
CIVIL You please give me the price o
a meal? I'm so hungry that l am near
ing starvation"
I'm a deviIish sight hungrier than
You are, " he colonel replied.
"Why don't Won eat?'
'sBec;ruse I want to reduce my flesh.
Chat ali foo0i-hucss, the tramp re
piled. "Some time ago I was on cor
ouers jury and W. held an inquest owe
man who had starved TO death. Oh
but he was a whopper, as fat as he coul,
wallow The ueighbors said that h
was frying to reduce his flesh and
Are those facts that you are stat
ing?"
eyes, sir; facts as solemn as the ives
side Of a sepulchre when the san IS i
the east"
The colonel gave his bell a vigorou
ring, and when the porter appeared Ii
said
Go to the nearest restaurant an,
order meals for SIX men"
''Six men - exclaimed the tramp.
eyes, sir for 1 suppose you are a
hungry rs two men, and | know might,
well I'm as hungry as four