The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-04-22
SUNDAY MISCELLANY.
FUNNYGRNIAs,

The good dye young when their new
mustache comes out.
1t is an up hill work for q poet to write
an ode to spring While he has cold in his
head.
A Quaker hearing a person tell how
much ha felt for another who was in dis
tress and needed assistance, "A, ked him,
him ,"
Trained powers of observation: Art
proiessor-"Gou have seen the cathedral at
Florence with your own eyes. have not
been so fortunate. What struck you as
most noteworthy in it," Pupil-"A very
pretty English girl"
Tragic "Was it a small, white, curley
dorg with blue ribbon round HE rnrf
yer was lookin' for, miss?" "Well, Jack
Adams Newfoundland purp, h, 's-a.gone-
an swallowed him ;" They carried her liz
to the nearest drug store.
A young lady was recently asked by her
gallant what she considered the height of
impudence. Looking archly at him, she
said, Spark girl for three solid hours
and never offer to kiss her." lis need
less to add that he is not so impudent now.
The dudes Disguise ibid you 20 to
the grand ball last evening"" Inquired a
merchant OF a dude. "Iaws was here, -
was the languld reply. What costume
oid you wear ~ "Oh, my wegular dress
suit, ye knaw." " All then you were
disguised as a gentleman"
AT fashionable wedding in New York
the other day the ceremony was performed
under floral umbrella. This was prob
ably little suggestion of the brides
mother, who wanted the groom to under.
stand nv tina anhiar, kot H.
up something for rainy day.
II heern yer old mudder was dead "
said Sam Johnsing to Gabe Snodgrass a
coored citizen of Austin. Jess So She
died las week" WAS she sick long p,
NO; She les tuck sick one day an died
the mex" "0nlv sick one day Der Lor';
why DAT was hardly wuif while"
A fair retort: Mrs. Montioy Belesss
Otter several collsions) 1t strikes me.
AIR. Rudderford, you're much more at
home in a noat than in a ball room !''
Little Bobby Rudderiord lhe famous OK
bridge coxswain) Dyes by love And I'd
sooner steer eight men than one woman
any day ~
Quite an awful affair: First dude, with
an embarrassed smile--"Say, Augustus, |
really believe I've broken corset acing.
Have you an extra one to spare ?' Second
dude with an expression OF horror
Really why, Algernon, where could Won
fix it if | had one2 Tho gyruls are all
looking at us we know"
Use of the corset. "Its a lonely road
you have to take coming home tonight,
John, said his wife, with an anxiuos ex
preston. Yes, y he replied, very lonely"
And you might be attacked by assassns,'
she added, clasping both her arms around
his neck as if she were 10th to let him 90
might" said John. Then" she con.
tlnued, you had better put on one of my
corsets before you start"
Unwilling to invest; "Will you please
give me fifteen cents for my dinner 90
asked ragged hoy of a business man.
YES IL it's a good dinner I'd give fifteen
cents for dinner any time. Let's see It E"
II mean, won't you give me fifteen cents,
so that | can buy a dinner for myself?'
THAT'S it, Ell thought you had din
ner for sale. No, sir, don't believe care
to invest in your enterprise"
Only a few years ago an eastern traveller
was looking at funeral procession in
Leadyille, and remarked to the local clergy
man with whom he was talking that the
deceased must have been an important
citizen, as the'procsssion was so long. "Do
you call that big show 2" exclaimed the
divine. Just you wait here till we plant
one of our big men and we'll show you a
funeral !" There was q clergyman with
the true Leadville spirit
Registration of women voters in Boston
81 wish to register, sir" Your name.
please" "Almirs Jane Simpson" "Your
age?" BEG pardon?" Your ageY'
"Do | undertrand that | must give my
age ?' ayes, miss, the law requires it,
Worlds, sir, would not tempt me to give
1t Not that care. No: | had as liei
wear it on my bonnet rs hackmau does
his number, but I'm a twin, and II my sister
has weakness it is that she dislikes any
ref, renee made to her age, and could not
give you my own because do not wish IL
ofend her."