The Delaware farmer., 1883-12-14
THE LIME-KlLN CLUB.
WORDS OF WISDOM by BROTHER
GARDNER.
An Address Upon Very Serious Subject.
From the Detroit Free Press.I

Gardner as he rose up and looked around
: on the bald heads before him, ''dat de
Right Very Honorable Erastus Du Biff
LID, Of West Point, Ga, am waitin
in de aunty-room to deliber lecktur
befo' dis club. De subiick he has chosen
on dis illustrious occasion am: What
will de fuchur' bring fo'th?' He arrove
heah two days ago, an has bin occupyin'
de spar bed in Brudder Walpole's house.
Arter de lectur' a colleckshun will be
tooken up fur his benefit, and tomorrer
mawnin' he will purceed on his way to
Toronto. De committee will now pur-
ceed to bring him in"
When the committee reached the
ante-room they found the Right Very
Honorable bathed in a cold perspiration
and his paper collar fast whiting away.
He had an attack of what is called
"stage fright" and the committee had
to rub his back with brick, pour cold
water down his neck, and lend him
! fifteen cents in nickels before he could
sufficiently command himself to enter
the hall. He finally appeared, a rosy
smile mOrtgaging his features and his
head nOdding from one to another, and
was formally introduced by the Presi-
dent. He seemed on the point of wilt
ing again, but Brother Gardner whis-
pered to him that if he did he'd have to
go out of town on foot, and the warming
stiffened his legs and made a new man
of him.
"My frens," he softly began, 81
reckon dat mos of you know what de
word fuchur means. 1t doan' mean de
huskin'-bees of las var, but it refers to
goin' a-fshin' mex summer. De fuchur !
means dat which am befo' us. We I
know what de past has brung out. What !
will happen in de fuchur cannot be :
known but may be predicted. I am
heah tonight to predict.
81 do not say dat de fuchur will see a
,ull'd man occupyin' de White House at .
but I predict dat if de
Norf Pole am ever diskivered it will be
u. 1
ode Guild man of de fuchur may not L
become world renowned for inventin' an y
'O0-barreled cannon, but I see no reason "
Why he shouldn't bring fo'th a steam
'ootiack Or diskiver a way to patch
'utes wild cold pancakes. Steam be-
ongs to de past. A hundred vars hence
will be too slow fur any bizness 'cept
awin' up wood fur poo folks.
81 do not assert dat de fuchur will
o away wild railroads, but de son of
ome pusson now widin' sound of my cn
oice will win fame by inventin' some al
ay of KILN de brakeman who emag- oJ
les dat his sole duty consists in roastin' ~
9 passengers in each car. ~ ~
ode fuchur may not solve de prob of
m of fyin' frew de Cair, but who kin IL
Il what de next fifty years may do to-
ard improvin' de hotel bed an de
staurant sandwich?
To-day we stan an look upon de t .%n
win masheen as perfeckshun. Fifty ~, ~
ars hence men will smile at de ideah .rT
our bein satisfied wild any sich affair. !.
wife will take de sewin' masheen of de
chur an support lazy husban' an os ou
ne children widout worlin' ober two ''--,
Us in de week.
''De fuchur will have a heap to do ,OU
d our own pertickler race. De Samuel 10
in of hundred Vars hence may be a -
y comptroller; de Giveadam Jones 49,
Il be President of acollege; de Pickles t .,.--
nth will boss a railroad; de Waydown ~,
bee will have his name mixed up wild 41I -l'I
bank; de Lord Nelson Slabs 0'IIl -
y command an army an de Br udde -
rdner will sit in de Gubiner's room at -,
State House an sign his ofishul ~,
me to de bills passed by de Legis- fno fiiI'
hur. Wild cheers. Wild desc few 80,
perviOus remarks is dun. I return l--- 511
sympathetic adherence for de tyran- ~
al manner in which you has bestowed " y Z.
lr attenshun an take my leave of you g., g..
lie moas' emblematical manner"
The closing remarks were greeted
h such storm of applause as nav
Ike out several window-panes and All
et two lamps. The honorable oen- goin
nan was then conducted from the and
!, and the collection taken up for his ior
eft netted him the handsome sum of dun
30. Wei
- him
RINTERs AT WoRK.-''They get to- butc
ler in little knots and talk about hin,
and lean,' just as though they -
knd in q nnanLinor hnuso nrncr.o IL ~