The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-14
BOY OR GIRL,
a Young Mans Misfortunes on Account of
Borrowed Baby.

Young Mans Misfortunes on Account of
a Borrowed Baby.
Washington Capital.
Smith is fond of babies That is, he was
before that unfortunate trip to Tenallytown.
Since then he would rather take a snake to
his bosom than an infant, no matter how
sweet and pretty the cherub and thesight of
| the Tenaliytown coach gives him freczles
on his back. This is how it happened:
Smith and his second-best girl in company
with the two Misses Giggler and Charley
Stacey, concluded to call on some friends in
Tenallytown one evening last week and took
the coach. The coach was full when it started
but stopped to take in lady with three small
children, the youngest an infant in arms
two bandboves and pot of flowers. Smith
enjoyed it, as it compelled him to sit closer
to his next best girl, and Stacey seemed to
relish being squeezed to death between the
two giddy Gigglers.
The poor, tired little mother finally got
settled, and the coach started again, to be
stopped once more on the outskirts of the
city by an old woman. To her anxious
query, "Eny rum?' the driver cheerily said:
20 yes, mum; git right in" The old lady
appeared at the door, looked anxiously in,
and said "'Pears to me you are pretty we'll
scrouged up now.'
Smith Rugged up closer to his s. b. g., and
said to the little mother with the trio of in
fants: Let me hold the baby, ma'am."
Little Mother-O, thank you kindly, but it
will be too much trouble.
Smth-Not at all, ma am (taking the child).
Now, madam Ito the old LADY,, crowd right
in. And after some more "scrouging," the
old lady .wedged herself down next to Smith,
and the following comedy was enacted
Old Lady Undressing Smith)-How long
does it take to git to Tenally.
Smith-Boutn hour, 1 guess, maam.
o. L-Hey?
s. Qouderj-Boufn hour, guess, na'ann.
o. L-Pm pretty hard o. hearin
S. getting nervous and yelling)-Boutn
hour, say.
o. L.-Yu don't say so. Sakes alive. L
just came down last week to see my Mirandy,
She lives in Geotown. Married John Mills.
the blacksmith. Bin married bout a year,
and | cum down to git the babys clothes
ready. (The Misses Giggler show signs of
Mysteries and look out of the window; Smiths
best girl turns red, and Smith himself
nervously trots infant)
o. L.-(seeing infant first time makes a
dive at its left lung with her dexter finger,
wrinkles up her old face into a spices Of
a smile and saysl Kootsy, wootsy bootsy,
Dress is dear title hart. TO Smith, Takin'
the little darlin' out for an airin'2
Smith Cunning red)-Yes, ma am; that is
I mean-no, maam. balance of passen.
gers become interested.)
like good country air for the little darlins
Looks just like you. Suddenly Boy OF
gal? entire coach-load in commissions.
Smith Cunning pale and looking fright
ened)-Damfno. beg pardon, really that
-. Confound you, Stacey, you Internal
idiot what are you Aowling at? I'll pay you
for that Think you're smart, don't you?
o. Hey?
Smith desperately and loudly)-I say it'e
a boy.
Miss Giggler-Why, Mr.. Smith it's girl,
can't you tell that by the way it's dressed!
Smith (savagely)-I don't care what it is.
Here, driver stop. l want to get out. Take
your brat, madam. I wouldn't hold another
baby for 81, 600, 900 minute.
o. L. (not understanding commotionJ--
Hey, what's the fun; tell me? 1 like fun.
Smith (hurriedly getting out)-Fun be
blowed. (To Stacey who is in eonvulsions.)
You had better send for the black maria and
a squad of police to bring you back. I'll be
revenged on all of you, and sticking his
hands deep in his pockets he started down
the dusty road toward town, followed by
yells of laughter and the mocking voice of
Stacey shouting papa"
Smith says the daisies will bloom over sew
eral new-made mounds soon if the boys don't
stop saying hoy or gal'' when he is around.