davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22
Ward aud Per- Rataman.


In 1865, when Miss Kate Batemnn
was playing an engagement in Phila-
delphil, there occurred q very amusing
encounter between Charley Brown
(Artemus Ward) and PA Bateman,
as he was Familiarity known, the father
of Kate.
Mr.. Bateman was, rs he certainly
bad good reason to be, excessively
proud of the histrionic talent of his
daughter, and il was upon the day fol-
lowing one of her greatest triumphs
that he first met Artemus Ward, that
irrepressible wag being introduced to
him by Dir. Faank Drew, the actor, as
plain MIR. Brown.
"And you are the father of the
greatest actress the world has ever
seenp''
Mr. Bateman gave unmistakable cvi-
dence of his entire belief in and proud
consciousness of the fact.
Pardon me, sir, said Ward, in a
voice full of emotion, as he seized Mr..
Bateman's hand in a vigorous clasp,
twill you permit me, sir, TO shake hands
with you again?''
Mr.. Bateman was much affected by
this hearty endorsement.
'And now, continued Ward, III |
might be so bold as To offer a suopes-
ton, permit me to say that were I the
father of such a child, but that could
not be. Permit me, ! beg, impulsive-
ly, and clutching wildly at Mr. Bate
mans arm. permit me once more to
shake hands with the father of Kate
Bateman.
This ceremony performed. Ward re-
sumed:
II was about TO say, Mr.. Bateman,
that YOU are too modest in the intro
duction of your daughter to the public
notice-too modest by far "
gesture of impotence from Pero
was apparently innoticed by Artemus,
who continued:
awhile you probably have some con
ception of the great gifts with which
your daughter is happily possessed, you
doubtless fear that fathers pride may
lead you to unwarranted lengths. But
believe me, sir, believe me, this with "A
voice choked with emotion ''there is
no step which YOU are not warranted in
taking to advertise the talent Of so great
an artist |, sir, would have advertised
her appearance here in every paper
published in this city"
but my dear sir. Interrupted Eir
Bateman, '.she has been advertised IN
all OF the papers here, every day for SIN
months. p"
Il would, . continued Ward, entirely
oblivious of any interruption, have
had the town billed from end To end
with great posters. with Kate Bate
mans name upon them in letters four
feet long"
II should have had fine photographic
portraits exhibited in each of the princi-
pal stores
Il did, didr' shriaked Mr.. Bate
man.
Il would have gathered the members
of the press together and banqueted
them, step, which Mr.. Bateman had
taken few days before. and for which
he had Just paid out $500, lin short. '
concluded Ward, brooking no Interrupt
ton and smiling placidly the while, )
would allow the world to think me vain
if they would, but / would never con
sent to hide such light under bushel.
Never! neverl = and then he walked
away.
What dye say that fools name is2''
asked Batcnan, turning upon Drew.
THAT" said Drew "Oh, that
Charley Brown, Artemus Ward, you
know
"Oh hell" muttered the old man,
but he couldn't refrain from joining in
the laugh, though it was at his expense
- Cincinnati !SatatrolaY Night.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22
What We Have no,is-d.

That people Who We1r the best Cl0th-
ing do not always wcar she best,
That people who boast that they al
ways speak what they think ave some
mighty mean thoughts
That the man who persIsteatly neg
lects to live within his income will one
day be trying to live without it.
That, the world is divided into two
classes-those who are ambitious to as
cend above mediocrity. and those who
are ambitious that every body else shall
descend below their own mediocrity.
That the man that barriers health for
riches is never satisfied with his bar
gain.
That the man who has a large princi-
pal in the bank sometimes shows no
principle in anything else.
That honesty is the best policy-in
fact that all rare things are reckoned
the best
Thxt learning is powerful auxiliary
to the fool bent on displaying his folly.
That man and wife should not be
yoted like oxen, bui harnessed tandem.
70 get along smoothly, one must lead
and the other follow.
That the strongest horse Is generally
placed between the shafts.
That the strongest argument against
sexual equality is, that woman may be
as bad as man when she is possessed of
his superior opportunities.
That the married man wonders why
the bachelor does not marry, and the
bachelor wonders why the married man
married-in fact, that this is world Of
wonders.
That the girl who declares that she
would not marry the best man alive
quite frequently proves her sincerity by
marrying the worst man she can find.
That it is the same with thought as
with money-the less one has of either
the more eager he is To make 4 display
of It.
That when a man is loved for himself
al Il is himself who is the lover.
while some men pick their corn
pau, others pluck their company.
That when n man tells YOU of a
chance to make money, he neolActs to
mention the one hundred or more
chances to lose it in tire same enter
prise.
That when a man says, in q sighting
manner, that anybody can do this or
that thing, he means that ans body but
himself can doit.
That the photographer who can
make ilatterng picture is more sue
CcSSAut tHti ms VINO iliaHtS y correct
likeness.
That he who sees no good in human
nature is too much given to self con-
temptation.
That the most preeious goods are
done up in the smallest bundles. The
letter is the smallest letter in the al
phabat.
That people who pride themselves
upon their ancestry do what they can to
make their descendants humble when
thinking of them.
That the man who could do a thing ii
he only tried is always very careful not
TO try e
That the man who is always able to
say the right thing in the right place is
usually found in the right place to say
IT.
That it Is better to be good and home
Iy than pretty and bad.
That good taste is too often confined
to the palate
Thai no matter how ugly a nose may
be, its imperfections are overlooked by
its owner.
That the average man objects to
paving the debt of nature, not SO much
because he is afraid to die as because
he dislikes debt paying. -Bosto'a Tran.
script.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22
A ROMANCE.

Truth is stranger than felton, many is
the time when this adage has been illus
trated in every conceivable manner the
last by the marriage of Miss Amelia Staten
berg of this city last evening to MIR. James
Crabtree, of the Indian Territory The
ceremony was solemnized at the residence
OF the brides parents, at s o'clock last
night. The circumstances of the wooine
are peculiar in the extreme. About
six months ago Miss Amelia was
visiting friends in Arkansas; while
there Mr. Crabtree's father was
taken sick at hotel There
was no one to take care of him, and Miss
Amelia volunteered her services. which
were gratefully accepted, old Mr.. Grab
tree coming to the conclusion that he
must die, drew will leaving all his prop
erty to his son. He also requested his
son to marry Miss Staltenberg The old
gentleman soon after died and his son
made short work of his love making AMI
last evening he was married. He is re
ported to be quite wealthy The happy
couple leave for their home 10 the Indian
territory in few days.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22
PERSONAL

E, H. Anawalt is visiting friends in
Chicago this week.
Mrs. G. A, Jamison and Mrs. s. Sea
bury. of Peoria. are in the city for a
week visit with their father, Mr.. W. f.
Woodward.
Postoffice inspectors j D. King and
James Stewart were in town yesterday,
and after looking about to their satlsfac
ton they went TO Moline.
Bowling is to lose one of her best citi
zens next fall in the person of Mr.. G. c.
Hayden, who has lately bought a tract of
land near st. Paul, Neb., of which he will
take formal possession at the time indi-
Gated.
Letters received here announce 4hc ar
rival of Mrs j p. T. Patterson ana chill
dren at the home of their friends in Han
over county, Virginia.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22
SURPASSED.

Rev. q. Chambers, pastor of the Sec
ond Baptist church of this city, on return
ing from his usual prayer meeting last
evening, found his residence in possession
of about twenty five or thirty guests. with
a variety of groceries and the table set
all ready for nice supper. After supper
the reverend gentleman made some very
encouraging remarks in the form of ar
acknowledgement of the compliment paid
him, after which the guests returned to
their homes
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22
ELECTION NOTICE.


Notice ia hereby given that on Iue5aay, .le
third ay of April 1883 in the city OF hogK n
at the-1snaI voting places, an electfoh WIN "S
for the following officers, to-wlt;
CITY OFFICERS
One Mayor for two years.
One City Clerk for two years
one City Attorney for two years
One Treasurer for two years. . - aara
One Alderman in the First ward for Two SSa 49,
OnesA Alderman II the Second WARRIOR Two years-
one Alderman in the Third ward for Two gears
One Alderman in the Fourth ward for Two yeals
One alderman in the Fiji h ward for Two Year,.
one Alderman in the Sixth ward for two years.
Oae Alderman in the Seventh ward for two years
TOWNSHIP OFFICERS:
One Supervisor for year.
Four Assistant Supervisors for one year
one Assessor fol one ye r..
nsASOllector for one year. .-,.s,,s,
Which election win be opened 81 elgn. o cIock
in the morning and continue open until seven
O'Clock of the afternoon of that day
Dated this 10Th day of M9rch, 1-s3
ROBERT KOEHLER,
mi3dfd City and Town Clerk.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22

/ would respectfully solicit the tax pay
ers Of Rock Island to pay their taxes TO
me at their earliest convenience, rs | will
soon be required to make settlement with
the county collector. Parties against
whom back personal taxes are entered on
the collectors book are requested To make
payment of same at once, or they will he
proceeded against according to law. Office
under Harper House. in telegraph Office.
FRAZER WILSON,
dwtf Town Collector
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22

The Rock Island Children Carriage
sCompany have on sale baby carriages of
all new styles and designs in Rattan,
Willow and Wooden bodies al prices from
So. rs up to $35. Call aud get our factory
prices at H. Hofrmasters Dry goods store
Second avenue, or at factory, First ave
nue.. 16 ct
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22

Can you give me 10 cents, STRIP
implored ragged chap, accosting a
gentleman on the street; 81 haven t
ate anything for week. : What do
you mean by telling such q story as
thatp'' asked the gentleman: IT saw
yon ut dinner in tho eating house not
an hour ago" .'Ah, but you misunder-
stood me, replied the tatterdemaliou;
'.when said hadn't ate anything for
o week ] meant next week He got
his 10 cents.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22
STATE OF ILLINOIS,
RoCk ISLAND COUNTY ~

Rock ISLAND COUNTY.
IN the cireait Court, 10 the May Term. fsss
Sarah l.. Crosby va Wan W Crosby. 10 Chan
Gerry
Affidavit of tie Hon- residence "a VIM W. Crosby
the above named defendant, having been lled I'm the
Clerk Office OF the Circuit Court OF said county, no
tice IL therefore hereby given the said no.rp
dent defendant that the complainant filed hcr bill OF
complaint in said Court, the Chancery side there
of. on the 21st day of March 1888, and th4t
thereupon summons issued out Of -aid CuLTi.
wherein said suit il now pending rctumable 90 ths
first Monday In the month Of MAY next as is hb
law required. Nov, unless you, theSaid non res.
dent defendant above named, shall personally he
and appear before said Circuit Conn, ON the Gr-t
day of the next term thereof 10 be- holden az ia-
Court House in Rock Island, ia and FOR the eait
comfy ON the first Monday ia May next. aut
plead answer demur TO the said complainant
bin of complaint, the same and the matter ahI
things therein charged and stated viii be ift.h
rs confessed and decree entered against You
according 10 the prayer OF said bill
Rock Island. Illinois, March slst 1888
- LEM +. HARSON. Clerk
NJ. NJ. GoBBErT, Conlpt's soi* inch e-a4N
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22

The iron will of Prince Bismarck. it
is said. is rapidly breaking down. Not
long ago, according to a report more or
less apocryphal, he said with much Bit
terness: If it were not for me. the
world would nave seen three great wars
less, and $4,000 men, who died in their
bloom might have lived, and how many
parents, brothers, sisters, widows would
have been spared their grief and tcars''
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22
For Collector,

Yielding Il the solicitations OF my friends,
hereby announce myself candidate for the Dem
ocratc nomination for City Collector, aud respect
fully the support of my friends and all Others
who believe that have the necessary qualirica-
tions for the office. LOUIS oHLWElLEh
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22

John Kelsey, resident of East
Hampton, L. l.. tied his adopted
daughter. aged y, to rafter in the
garnet of his dwelling house the other
day, by her hands, and horsewhipped
her in a brutal manner. Her cries
were heard by neighbors, who COM
PEELED him to desist. Kelsey will be
nrosacutp1
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22

The ARGUS has improved facilities for
doing job work of all kinds. II employs
none but the best of workmen. while its
material is of the latest style and is being
constantly added to. It's stock of fancy
stationery is large and varied; its supply
of all kinds Of commercial stock is prac-
tically unlimited, and its prices are rea-
sonable- The hest of work guaranteed
IF
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22
ANNOUNCEMENTS.
For Mayor.

l Wish TO announce that l am candidate for
Mayer subject the decision of my fellow eitizens
ar the ballot box. WILLIAM ATKINSON.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22

The registry of electors of Rock Island
for the approaching spring election is as
follows, with comparisons of the footings
of 1881 and 1882.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22

WANTED-Commercia travellers and
local agents everywhere in the United
States, TO sell .Warren's Entire Wheat
Patent Flour. the only true food flour;
covered by patents; BUSINESS exclusively
cago, Ill. mch17-ms-5t
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22

A new book is entitled ssSEnort Say
rangs of Great Men. s When are we TO
have Great Savings of Short Menu
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22

The delegates win meet at Turner a,,inaie candi
attorney, township supervisor. io ono townsbin
Supervisors one township ASSESSOR one ~,
Collector. and choose chairman OF the Guy COM
mittee. \. NJ cORBETP
Chairman City and Township committee.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22
DEMOCRATIC PRIMARIES AND CONVEX
TTON

mn. ,s,na....,o ,.o,ers of Rock Island township
hereb1 Sated to be- at several voting
places in the respective wards a. ,sss TO select
on Friday the sd day OF March l,rertio,n nomin-
ate candidate in each ward for aide t,ventY
ward is entitled to delegate ioI es1d;date far
state treasgrrer in the election OF iooS' anu oHe
far every friction exceeding fifteen; D,,aos+as
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22
COAL. COAL.

Price of coal reduced to ten cents a
bushel at the new coal Office on Eleventh
street o. G. Dohlman. agent m16tlfm
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22

Warmers Safe Kidney and Liver Cure.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-22
Performance given i'm the Eng
lish Language.
ChancerY Notice.

Reserved Seats - cents ARA 8 01l sale OF seal
viii commence Thursday, March 2td at Marsha
u Fishers drugstore
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1883-09-06
The Frank James Trial.

ST. LOUIS, September 3-The Post
Dlspatch's Gallatin special says: Mrs.
Frank James, accompanied by her
little boy, made her first appearance
in court during the trial and took a
seat beside her husband. The defense
was given ten hours for argument,
and the case will go to the jury on
Wednesday at noon.
Court, on motion, extended the time
of defense to II hours. Instructions
for the state and defendant were re-
ceived. Instructions for murder in
the second degree does not amount to
much, as it can only be returned as
separate from the robbery. The kill
ing of McMillen by any member of
the gang while pursuing the robbery,
it defendant is believed to be one of
party, is murder IN the first degree.
Instructions as to the credibility of
the witness was very clear and favor
able to the defense, the jury being in
Structed that the testimony of associ-
ates in crime requires corroboration
to the extent of a certainty. Hamil-
ton, prosecuting attorney of this coun-
ty, opened the case for the state, and
spoke till court adjourned. John M.
Glover will open for the defense.
ST. LOUIS, September 4.-The Post
Dispatch Gallatin special says: In the
James trial Judge Ficklin opened
this morning for the state. He
read a good deal from testimony
and claimed the Identification of Frank
James was complete, and the attempt
to prove an alibi was a farce. Col.
Slower, Of Independence, argued in
favor Of the four men theory; showed
the incompleteness of Identification
of the prisoner and the thoroughness
of the alibi by the testimony and
dwelling On the interested motives of
Dick Liddell and the Fords.
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1883-09-06
PACIFIC RAILROAD.
The Opening of the Road Celebrated
in st. Paul.

ST. PAUL, September 3.-Mr. Vii
lard's party arose early this morning
and breakfasted at the hotel and then
repaired to the depot whence the train,
consisting of eight cars, made the run
to st. Paul inside of an hour. Upon
their arrival grand reception oc-
CURED. The mayor, members of the
city council and distinguished citizens
were on hand with an abundance of
carriages. The procession up Third
street was an ovation. Buildings
were profusely decorated with flow
erS and banners from beautiful
arclways at every corner; young
ladies in white showered boquetS
upon the guests. Immediately fol-
lowing the archways were long
stands gaily decorated, where stood
hundreds of fancifully dressed little
girls who merrily pelted flowers into
the carriages. Down every street as
far as the eye could reach were dense
crowds packing either side, while
every building was literally draped
in gorgeous decorations. The pro-
cession was two hours passing a given
point, including military, fire depart
ment, leading citizens and wagons
representing every industry of the
Northwest. After viewing the pro-
ceSsion the guests were driven over
the city. They left for Minneapolis
at 1890, there to attend a second grand
reception,
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1883-09-06
WACO.
Especial to The statesman.I


-, WACO, September ga young man
giving his name as Tom Thompson
entered Mr.. Efron's store tonight
and purchased goods to the amount Of
thirty dollars. He asked leave to
deposit some money there for safe
keeping, hundred dollars, and placed
it in an envelope, but by little piece
of oflegerdemain he changed envelopes,
giving Efron one containing nothing
but scraps of paper, after which he
departed with his purchases. The
deception was discovered, and now
Thompson lies in Jail on a charge of
sWindling.
1t is understood that the council
committee has made some changes in
the rendered rolls of city property,
increasing the amount one hundred
thousand dollars.
The Texas and st. Louis railway
bridge over the Tehecuana which was
destroyed few days ago has been
replaced.
The trust deed Of the Gulf, Colorado
and Santa Fe railway to the Farmers
Loan and Trust company to secure
their second mortgage bonds for
$4,000 a mile was filed with the
county clerk here to-day.
There are rumorS of a wreck on the
Texas Central railroad in which one
man was killed.
A fire broke out in an empty house
on south Eleventh street and. igniting
an adjoining house occupied by q. c.
Scott, both were destroyed. Most of
his furniture was saved. ScOtt'S loss
was about $500. The empty house
was the property of j. G. Jurney and
was undergoing repairs. The total
loss will reach about $500, with an
insurance of $500.
The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1883-09-06

waters, and there must have been
from 1900 to 1900 people drowned.
The island of Serang, just off the
coast, was completely inundated, and
not soul remains to tell the tale of
disaster and death.
At Cheribon there was no great
flood of waters, but the loss of life and
property by the falling rocks and the
flow OF lava must have been very COM
siderable.
Bditenzorg suffered very seriously,
as did Smarang, Jokjokerta, Surak-
kerta and Surabaya, while the meagre
reports from the lesser towns indicate
that their loss was as great in proper
tlon. The thousand temples at Bram-
banan were very much damaged some
of them totally destroyed. Some of
the domes of the noted temp Borho-
no were crushed by huge falling
rocks.
While there can be no accurate esti-
mate of the loss of life, 1t must be ap-
parent when it is considered that the
island has population of over 10.
100000 people, that the death list will
foot up into the thousands. At the
last adviceS the eruptions were still
continuing, although their violence
had abated somewhat, and it is feared
that the end of the disaster will show
it to have been one of the most fright
full ever known in the history of vol
canic eruptions.