Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-11-08
SQUIBS.

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desk writing le, er, stopped and said
to his clerk;
Henry, is there one Or two is in
Bostong
zone t, sir"
"That's what thought Pass the
eraser.
A Kentucky woman broke her bus
band of the saloon habit by walking
up to the bar beside him and calling
for the beer. She broke the awful 81
lence, as they walked home, with the
remark: II love you my husband
and if you are going to hell I'm going
right along with you.
1t has been so proclaimed, and on
THURSDAY, November29, we shall have
Thanksgiving. The keynote of that
day will be turkey, and the sauce for
the goose, as we'll as the gander will
be cranberry sauce.
1t makes the landlady mad to hear
one boarder remark to another while
rising from the dinner table, 'Now,
Jim. let's go to a restaurant and get
something to eat.
Luther Standing Bear, son of the
famous Sioux chief, whose name he
bears, is learning the trade of plumb
err How soon the modern Indian
catches on" to the arts which adorn
and embellish civilized life!
II am running on the broad gouge
railroad said the conductor as he
pocketed rs cents out of a dollar fare.
The coal miners strike in Western
PENNSYLVANIA is nearing an end the
strikers resuming work without &C
complishing the object of the strike.
The winter pork packing season
commenced recently at Chicago, and
viii continue until the end of Febru-
airy. During the summer packing
season, just closed 1850, 600 swine
We're slaughtered and packed at Chi
cago.
Abdul Aziz, the brother OF the
reigning Sultan of Muscat, in Arabia,
has declared war against the latter,
and, with force of followers, is be-
sieging the city of Muscat. The Brit
ish have commercial interests there,
and one of their gunboats has opened
fire upon the besiegers
The victory was won, but Gen.
Wolfe lay dying on the Heights of
Abraham. Hearing the shouts of the
soldies, They fly They tlym the
General stood on his elbow and an
xiously asked, "Who hy?" "Hossf1y, "
replied sergeant near by and Wolfe,
recognizing the forerunner of the
American paragrapher, was glad to
lie down and die before the batch of
1888 came along.
An exchange contains an editorial
entitled modify the Age" but it
would entail too much labor, Ninety
nine out of every hundred women
who have passed their 25th birthday
would want their age modified so they
might tell their friends they were
only IS years old without lying about
it. The scheme is not practicable.
"How to Get Thin" is the title of
new book by a German professor of
Gottingen. No need to go to foreign
countries for such prescriptions Here
is one which has never Leen known
to fail. Turn everything you have
into cash, put it all up on margins,
and then watch the stock ticker.
Dollars and cents are mighty yalu
able consideration in matrimony,
said Mr.. Blipking to his wife. Eyes,
dear, I'm aware of it, 'And it is
seldom that it is equally divided.
Have you noticed that" Eyes, dear
in our own case. for instance. You
had all the dollars and | had all the
sense.
"Well may l hope, then, dearest,
that at some time may have the hap
piness Of making you my wife!'
yes, hope so, am sure" she re
piled. Il am getting tired of suing
fellows for breach of promise.
A Southern Dakota exchange com
plains bitterly o. the poor quality of
whisky sold in a town there I'll
doesn't seem to have entered the edit
or's mind that good way out of the
difficulty is not to drink the whisky
II have been exploring the waist
places" remarked Mr.. Duday on re-
turning from late visit to his dar-
ling.
It has been said that William X.
Vanderbilt was in financial distress.
We don't know Just exactly what the
report means, unless it is that he has
more money than he knows how to
spend.
Il shall teach you to speak proper !
ly, and then to write as you speak,
sold teacher in the public schools |
Poor Billy Wilcox, said a little
voice Involuntary. "What about /
Billy" please ma'am, he speaks
through his nose
Wedding cards are growing larger,
and it is'hard to distinguish them from
invitations to openings at the fash
ionable milliners'.
A New York paper remarks There
are many comments on the fact that
brides receive very few presents this /
Autumn, and there is no inducement
to exhibit them
Queen Isabella, whohas spentmueh |
of her time and all her money in Par
is, is furious with the reception given
to her son, King Alfonso, with whom
she is low on excellent terms. She is