Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-06-22
The Fad Boy Not Entirely Bad.

The Fad Boy Not Entirely Bad
Well, how's your eye:?' said the
grocery man to the bad boy, as be
blew in with the wind on the day OF
the cyclone, ard left the door open.
say, shut that door. You want to
blow everything ont of that store.
Had any more fights, protecting girls
from dudes"
No, everything is quiet SO far. l
guess since | have got record as a
fighter the boys will be careful who
they insult when am round. But |
have had the hardest week | have ever
experienced, jerking soda for the
Young Mems Christian Association
said the boy, as he peeled banana.
What do you mean, boy: Don't cast
any reflections on such a noble asso-
citation. They don't drink, do they
Drink. 0, no. They don't drink
anything intoxicating but when it
comes to soda they flood themselves.
lou know there has been a national
conventions of delegates from all the
Young Mems Christian Associations
Of the whole country, about three
hundred, here, and our store is right
on the street where they pass four
times day, and | never saw such ap-
petites for soda. There has been a
continual tizz in our store since We'd
nesdav. The boss wanted me TO play
it Oh some Of them by putting some
brandy in with the periumery few
times. bat | wouldn't do it | guess
a few weeks ago, before | had led a
different life, | wouldn't had to be
asked twice TO play the game on any
body. But man can buy soda of me
aad be perfectly safe. OF course, If a
Haaa v:uks, gtacn ! ask him what fla
vor lie wants. and says never mind,
| know enough to put in brandy
That is different. But | wouldn't
nut it into man for nothing. This
Christian Association convention has
caused a coldness between ma and pa.
though.
'How's that: Your pa isn't jealous,
is he::' and the grocery man came
around from behind the counter TO
get the latest gossip to retail to the
girls who traded with him.
Jealous nothing, sald the boy, as
he took a lew raisins out Of box.
You, see, the delegates were shuffled
out to all the church members to take
care o., and they dealt two to ma, and
she never told pa anything about it.
They came to supper the hrst night,
and pa didn't get home, so when they
went 10 the convention in the evening
ma gave them the night key, and pa
came home from the boxing match
about II O'clock, and ma was asleep.
just as pa got most of his clothes off
he heard somebody fumbling at the
front door, and he thought it was bur-
glars. Pa has got nerve enough, when
he is on the inside of the house and
the burglars on the outside. He open
ed "a window and looked ont, and saw
two suspicious looking characters try
ing to pick the lock with skeleton
key. and he picked up a new siop-Jar
that ma had bought when we moved,
cover and all and dropped it down
right between the two delegates.
Gosh. if it hit one of them there would
have been the soiemnest funeral you
ever saw. Just as it struck they got
the door opened and came in the hall,
and the wind was blowing pretty
hard, and they thought cyclone had
taken the cupola off Of the house.
They were talking about being mira
culosly saved, and trying to strike a
a match on their wet pants, when pa
went to the head Of the stairs and
pushed over wire stand filled with
potted plants. which struck pretty
near to the delegates, and one OF them
said TIE house was coming down sure,
and they better 90 down and get be-
hind the furnace. Pa called me up,
ard wanted me to 60 down and tell
the burglars we were onto them, and
for them to get out, but | wasn't very
well, so pa locked his door and went
to bed. | guess it must have been
half an hour before pas cold feet woke
ma up, ard then pa told her not to
move for her life cause there were 2
Of the savagest looking burglars that
ever was running over the house. Ma
smelled pas breath to see if he had
got to drinking again, and then she
got up and hid her oroide watch in
the Bible, where she said no burglar
would ever find them, and pa and ma
laid wake until daylight, and then pa
said he wasn't afraid, and he and ma
went down the cellar. Pa stood on the
bottom stair and looked around, and
one Of the delegates SAID, Mister, is
the estorm over, and is your family safe?'
and ma recognized the voice, and said,
why, it's one of the delegates. What
are you doing down there?' and pa said,
What's a delegate:' and then ma ex-
planned it, and pa apollgized, and the
delegates said it was no matter, as they
had enjoyed themselves real we'll in
the cellar. Ma was real mortified
most to death, but the delegates told
her it was all right. She was mad at
pa first, but when she saw the broken