Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-04-18
The Art of Lying m Bed.

Ore OF the most useful, yet neglected
Of all the arts is that of lying In bed. The
damage that is done by persons getting uI
is pssi all reckoning. All the mischie
and crime, the counterfeItIng and forgery
the murder and theft are prepetrated by
parties VINO persist IN getting up. No
only individuals do wrong by leaving theil
beds, but rivers as well do an immense
amount of damage. Witness the Ohio
River, which lett its bed a few week:
since. How much damage has its diver
| sion wrought What an immense, meal.
! culable amount OF work, labor and expense
has not It's early rlsing caused What man
was ever dunned by a creditor, had his
eye put in mourning by q too close proxim-
ity with some ones fist, broke his leg on a
slippery pavement, was run over by an
omnibus, who lay in bed?
What great achievements have been ac-
compiIshed III war, in poetry, In literature
by genius abedl What noble Thoughts
have been born between the sheets, and,
once delivered from their authors braius.
gone, Jehu-hke, whistling down the race
course of time Coming events cast their
orable lines IN the English language-orlg-
mated With tue gi1-iovlng poet, Tom
Campbell, one morning before he had
arisen. LOngfellow thought out that ex-
quisitc poem, ''The Wreck Of the Hesper-
US" after he had retired. Ben franklin
sand: ''Early to bed and early to rise
makes man healthy, wealthy and wlse
Now, Franklin started out all right, but
got mixed when he SAID ''eariy to rise
There Is the fatal mistake. People who
rise early are sure TO catch the malaria /;
the ground is full of half-haiched poison
Gus germs; the sun Is not up and has not
warmed them into life, GIVING them wings
and set them adnft. Poor, misguided
man, he arises, inhales them all they
tructity and poison his entire system ;
hence chllls, fever, malaria and half the
Ills that human flesh is heir to.
Rise before the sun.
And make breakfast Of the morning dew,
Served up by nature on some grass hIll y;
You'll md Il nectar.
Was ever more arrant nonsense wrtten7
Fancy man getting up en- a cold, rainy
morning and climbing Que Of the high mills
about Cincinnati on an empty stomach,
and leaving mis- French coffee and hot rolls
pOached eggs and oyster stew, to cat
what Why, dew. How long would that
fellow last Wouldn't he be fit candl-
date Tor Longview, and No questions askedl
But, the early bird catches the worm. Yes,
but that sharp boy knocked that de-
iusiOn in the head forever and eternally
when he said: Father, there's the point;
what in thunder did the worm get up so
early for l' He trIaed with destiny; he
tempted fate; he should not have done
il. That boy was benefactor to the
human race. lie was sound on the lie
abed question.
The French prOyerb says, De iit a Ia
tGbie, dc Ia taGLe az Gt-''from bed 10
grub, from grub to bed" That's some
thing Ike it. Get up and eat, eat and GO
TO bed again. Why not All the ANIMALS
do It All nature, the grandmother of us
all, teaches 1t. Every animal IN the world
eats and seeks repose. The COW eats, and
lying down, placItly chews her cud the
anaconda swallows an GA, horns and all
and goes to sleep-''sleep that knits uI
The raveled sleeve of CAFE; the birth OF
each days life, sore labor's bath, balm OF
hurt minds great natures second course;
chief nounsher in hfe's feast" And YET
this is what they would deprive Us Of who
Say get up and who oppose the art Of lying
abed.
y Spanish Minister, suddenly raised tC
power, signalIzed the event by going tC
Oed and staying there for fear he might
have something to do. IL was in bed, si
he httte Inn at Waterloo, that the Duke OF
Wellington received the list OF the terrible
casualties OF the fatal 18th of June. Cray:
lode 70 Music was written in bed, and
Sam JOhnson's ''L0bo's Voyage to Abys-
sInia' was dictated TO he printers before
the great author of the Lives OF the Pu-
ets'' ami lexlcOsrapher had arisen. Peter
Plndar DR.. WoicOtO was 50 fond Of lying
abed that he received his visitors lying be
meath spreads and cOunteTpanes. BOssIu
wrote one Of his finest Operls in bed, and
was too lazy to pick up sheet that had
fallen away, George ~ lay IN bed tc
read the newspapers and Macaulay read
twenty pages of Schiller before getting up.
John Foster thought out his sermons ii
bed and the methOdical Anthony TrollOpt
NSSu " Itdu du utuf UCsbtt Etttits Hti-
Cynical Pope wrote:
| wake at night
Fools come INTO my dead and 80 write
Mrs. Macbeth strikes the keynote when
she shouts. ''To bed to bed - People
hunt the world over for pleasures, indulge
In all sorts of mad pranks IN their search
for recreation and repOse, roam from the
North Pole to the Southern Cross, pene.
trate African jungles and freeze with 81
berIans and Laplanders, chmb the Alps,
swelter at Saratoga and Long Branch il
pursuit OF pleasure. Alas they seek hap
piness where ii Is not and neglect it where
| II iS-IH bed.
Never gel up. lis the secret of glory;
Nothing 50 true can philosophy preach
Think OF the names that axe famous IA glory
Never get up IS the lesson they tescn-
How have men ccmpassed immortal achievements
How have NODDED the world to their Will:
| IIs thai mid sOrrOws and threats and DeTeave
UenIs
Never ge; - was their principle still.