davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19
NEW YORK, 1884.

About sixty million copies of The Sun have gone
out of our establishment during the past twelve
months.
If you were TO paste end to end all the columns of
all The Suns printed and sold last year you would
get continuous strip of interesting information,
common sense, wisdom, sound doctrine, and sane
wit long enough 10 reach from Printing House
square 10 the top of Mount Copernicus in the moon
then back TO Printing House square, aud then
three-quarters of the way back to the moon again.
But The Sun is written for the Inhabitants of the
earth this same strip of tellgence would grdle
the globe twenty-seven or twenty-eight times.
If every buyer of copy of The Sun during the
past year has spent only one hour over IL, and II
his vile his grandfather has spent another hour
this newspaper in 1883 has afforded the human
thirteen thousand years of steady reading, night
and day.
1t is only by little calculations like these that you
can form any idea of the circulation of the most
popular of American newspapers, of its influence
ON the opinions and actions of American men and
women
The Sun is, and will continue TO be- a newspaper
which tells the truth without fear of consequences
which gets at the facts matter how much the
process costs, which presents the news of all the
world without waste of words and in the most
readable shape, which is working with all its heart
for the cause of honest government and which
therefore believes that the Republican party must
go, and must go in this coming year of our Lord,
If you know The Sun, you like il already, and
you will read 1t with accustomed diligence and profit
during what is 10 be the most interesting year
in its history. If you do not yet know The Sun, it
is high time to get into the sunshine.
Terms to Mail Subscribers.
The several editions of The Sun are sent by mail,
postpaid, as follows:
DAlLY-50 cents month, Sc year; with Sunday
edition, e.
SUNDAY Eight pages. This edition furnishes
the current news of the world, special atioes of
exceptional interest 10 everybody, and literary re-
views of new books of the highest merit. sl n
year.
WEEKLY-s1 u year. Eight pages of the best
matter OF the Daily issues an Agricultural De-
partment of unequalled value, special market re-
ports and literary scientific, and domestic intel
ligence make The Weekly Sun the newspaper for
the farmers household To clubs of ten with 80,
an extra copy free.
Address, l. w. ENGLAND, Publisher,
The Sun, N. Y. City.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

If you wish to take care Of your
health, take air.-FreeP Press. tl
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

The great cuss Of running an oil
well is that you can't water the stuff
as oil and water won't mix.-Boston
Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

"No license" does not trouble the
inebriate so much as "no ten cents. !"
Boston Globe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

This was the very concise verdict
of coroner's jury in Idaho: eve
find that the deceased came to his
death by calling Tom Watlings liar" :"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

There's regular jam in the pre-
serve market.-Philadelphia Chron-
icle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

"'Wisely improve the present, is
good advice" said the newly married
man, as he sold duplicate wedding
gift.-Philadelphia Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

The farmers wife should wear gros
grain silk.-New York Commercial
Advertiser. @
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

EYES," said south side dealer the
other day, 81 must get 'Bacon's Es-
says for l want to post up on pork" :"
Oil City Derrick.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

The interest taken by landlord in
his tenants may be regarded as of a
pay-rental nature.-Pittsburgh Tele-
graph.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

A postmaster commander Of the
G. A. R.-Boston Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

Magistrates are masters in the "fne:
art".-Oil City Derrick. ...s.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

Takes panes to mend-the glazier.
Philadelphia Chronicle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

The ruling passion is strong in q
schoolmaster.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

An Illinois philanthropist has will
ed his corpse to medical school
That is a dead give away.-New York
Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

A Texas man is always a Texas
man. One who lost both arms in
sawmill has learned to fire revolver
with his toes.-Boston Post. =
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

A new religious sect has arisen in
England which worships Mother Eve.
The daughters of Eve are worshiped
by all sects.-Hartford Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

The present time--Christmas.--
Lapeer Clarion.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19
Advertising Rates.

business Cards. year, dollar for every line.
Local Notices ten cents per line for each insertion,
snl all notices continued for three months longer,
q discount Of rs per cent.
Advertisements unaeeompaniedb by verbal OF written
directions will be published three months.
Advertisements under contract, ordered out be-
fore expiration Of time will be charged full rates.
No paper discontinued until all arrearages paid,
except at the option Of the publisher.
Transient advertisements must DO paid in advance.
sSTerns CASH, payable quarterly.
Only Metal Cuts Inserted.
Ill., a.,I Mnnn,cn IiEo 70 An LII
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19
Detroit & Bav City Railroad.

Day and Evening Express daily, Sundays except
ed. Night Expross daily, Saturdays excepted.
II. b LEDYARD, HENRY c. WENTWORTH,
GenI Manager, Genl Pass. & Ticket Agt,
Detroit, Mich. Chicago, Ill.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19
He Liked His Raw Oysters Well Done.

"Waiter, bring me some oysters on
the SHE'LL" said the melancholy-look-
ing man in spectacles at the cheap
restaurant. "And, by the way" he
added, shave 'em well DONE"
"Well done sir ?" repeated the wal
ter.
EYES," replied the melancholy-look-
ing man.
"Oyster on the shell, well done p
continued the waiter.
"Yesw returned the guest, with a
roar. II want oysters same as | want
strawberries in piece of strawberry
shortcake-not too rare.
And the waiter went to fill the order
trying meanwhile to make up his
mind whether the melancholy-looking
man was humorist or an idiot.--Ex
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

Only about one-half of the people
of Chicago are natives. This relieves
the State of Illinois of great re-
sponsibility.-Boston Globe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

Two Commercial tourists" of the
pineboard persuasion met in the Union
Depot the other day. "Hello, Char
ley" says No. 1, "haven't seen you in
an age. What are you doing now"
90, I'm in the same old line," re-
ponds No. 2.
"With the same house ?"
eyes, the same old concern, but sit
uated little differently"
"How is thatY'
"Well, I've got an interest"
"Is that SOP" How long sincep
"Since the first Of the month"
"Let me congratulate you."
Eyes the old man told me I'd got to
take an interest in the business this
year, or quit. So l took the interest" "
American Lumberman.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19

All Goods marked plain figures The greatest opportunity ever offered
the people to buy cheap Satisfaction guaranteed Farmers
invited to examine our goods They adapted to the
wants of your families Come and buy where you
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-19
WIT AND HUMOR.

WIT AND HUMOR.
The ruling passion is strong in a
schoolmaster.-Ex.
The prcsent time--Christmas.--
Lapeer Clarion.
A postmaster--a commander of the
G. A. R.-Boston Star.
Magistrates are masters in the "fine
art".-Oil City Derrick. "a
Takes panes to mend-the glazier.
Philadelphia Chronicle.
The last of the race-the distanced
horse. Merchant Traveller.
If you wish to take care Of your
health, take air.-Free Press. A'
Gloves are a good thing to have on
hand now.-Boston Commercial.
There's regular jam in the pre-
serve market.-Philadelphia Chron-
icle.
The farmers wife should wear gros
grain silk.-New York Commercial
Advertiser. ~
"No license" does not trouble the
inebriate so much as "no ten cents. ;"
Boston Globe.
Boston has 2,1OO bar-rooms. Chica-
go would think that was long dis
tance between drinks.-Inter- Ocean.
The great cuss Of running an oil
well is that you can't water the stuff,
as oil and water won't mix.-Boston
Post.
The interest taken by landlord in
his tenants may be regarded as of a
pay-rental nature.-Pittsburgh Tele-
graph.
An Illinois philanthropist has will
ed his corpse to medical school.
That is dead give away.-New York
Herald.
"Yes," said south side dealer the
other day, 81 must get 'Bacon's Es-
says for l want to post up on pork. ="
Oil City Derrick.
"'Wisely improve the present, is
good advice" said the newly married
man, as he sold duplicate wedding
gift.-Philadelphia Call.
A Texas man is always a Texas
man. One who lost both arms in a
sawmill has learned to fire revolver
with his toes.-Boston Post. Z
Only about one-half of the people
of Chicago are natives. This relieves
the state OF Illinois OF q great re-
sponsibility.-Boston Globe.
A new religious sect has arisen in
England which worships Mother Eve.
The daughters of Eve are worshiped
by all sects.-Hartford Post.
This was the very concise verdict
of a coroner's jury in Idaho: "We
find that the deceased came to his
death by calling Tom Watlings liar" :"
Some people prefer death to mar
riage. This is probably because after
death there is no pain, but after mar
riage there is nothing else but payin'.
Carl Pretzel Weekly.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-04-24
DOMESTIC.

DusTrNa. There are two ways Of
dusting O room. One Is to take feath-
or brush, and, by briskly whisking off
the polished surfaces of wood or marble,
disperse into the breathing air the en-
tire quantity of dust particles there
accumulated. The other is to carefully
wipe with cotton or silken duster or
chamois skin the needful articles, and
then shake out the cloth either in tho
open air or into Fireplace in use,
where the draught OF air would carry
the dust up the chimney. 1t Is very
furnace heat or soft-ooal fires to keep
the furniture busted. Where there are
many pieces or faience or pottery tiny
bellows or q silk duster should be used.
Heavy damask or plush upholstered
furniture should not be brushed every
day. Raw silk material soon wears out
if subjected to severe rubbing. Twice
week is sufficient for upholstered
goods, or three times, if they are many
tufted, which catch the dust. The
wood, metals and marbles, of course,
can be wiped carefully with the duster
dally-an old silk handkerchief makes q
good duster. The best housekeeper,
however, must never attempt to dust
with cloth the frail petals Of her flow
ers and leaves, outside her pretty pop
celain and faience, unless she is willing
to have them come of in her fingers. as
these ornaments are modelhieed separate
~ from the pottery, and only applied
previous. to to tie firing. The small bel.
lows that are used IN printing offices tc
clean out dust from type, or toy bellows,
come into play here.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-04-24

A COOKING utensil that attends to it.
self is of great use to busy houseBeep-
ers. The double-boiler, which oan
either be bought ready-made or i'm
proved by putting the ordinary lard can
inside of O saucepan, 30 that it docs not
reach the bottom, is 30 convenient for
Boiling oil porridge, farinas and delicate
puddings, that no one who has ever
tried it will wish to 60 back to the old
way, The lower pan or pot must be
kept replenished with water rs it boils
away. Homlno, rice, maccaroni, &c. {,
if put into a jar with the milk, and the
jar placed in large saucepan of water,
or salt and water, and allowed to boil
till the contents of the jar are cooked.
saves the risk of burning, and much of
the cooks time in stirring. They will
take much longer to cook in this way,
but it saves anxiety, and the cooks 8
time, who can be dong other things
while the jar boils. Curries, hashes,
stews and many other things may be
cooked in the jar and saucepan without
trouble, only SEQ that the saucepan does
not boil dry. When boiling pudding
in q cloth, or dumplings, IT plate is
fitted into the bottom of the saucepan
there will be no fear of burning, and
the saucepun Will take much less time
10 wash. There is economy also in
cooking meats by tho "stonmer." They
do not waste 30 much. Salt pork,
corned beef, neck Of mutton, &c, are
ers" can be bought that tit over the
ordinary water boiler attached to most
cooking stoves.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-04-24
Remember 'ThSa.

If you are stok Hop BIltcrs will surely aid Ma.
tnre In making you well when all elee falls
II you are costIye or dyspeptlo, or are suffering
from any other Of the numerous diseases of the
stomach or bowels, 1t is your own fault II yau re-
man iii, for Hop Bitters ale sovereign remedy
In all such complaints.
fyou are wasting away with any form of Kid.
ney disease, stop tempting Death this moment,
and turn for cure to Hop Bltters.
Ii you are sick with that terrible sickness Nery-
onsness, you will find a "Balm In Gioad" In the
uBe OF Hop Bittcrs.
lf you are frcquenter, or resident Of a mjas-
matte district, barricade your system against the
sconrge or all c0untiics-malaral epidemic, BIZ
ious, and intermittent fevers--by the use Of Hon
Ditters. A
II you have rough pimply, or sallow skin, bad
breath, pains and aches, and feel miserable gene
raly, nop Bitters viii give YOU fair skin, rich
blood, and sweetest breath, health, and comfort.
IN short 1y they cure al Diseases Of the stomach,
Disease 1900 viii be paid for they viii moi
That poor. bedridden, invalid wife. Sister.
h9lfSr hsot or dssushte can be made ne picture o
but tribe. Wlll you lot them suffer
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-04-24

UNoLE JOHN ROBINSON tells u good
story of sick monkey who was confined
III cage with q number of healthy and
agile young fellows, and when the keep
.r came round to feed them they usc,
to hog all the apples and fruit, and leave
the toothless Old monkey to 60 hungry
to bod. The old monkey began to pine
and grow thin, when Uncle John one
day handed HIM in stout hickory club.
This he eagerly grabbed. and when the
keeper came round the way he whaoked
over i'll the corner and all around the
cage at the monkeys who touched that
food was caution. He kept his olut
in his hand, and ate enough to last a
week, After this there was no further
trouble, and the old fellow was suffered
to eat his share.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-04-24
Our Wafchfnl Gua rtISan and Faith fuI Pro.
fecf1 RcatOred to Active Duty Again

Mr. HENRY A. WATERMAN. OF the city of Provi.
dence t. L. for many years the faithful and yigiiant
night watchmsn OF the Barstow Stove Companv,s
worry extensive establishment having been confinod
70 his homo several weeks by very dstresslnp m
ness. on rcsmng his duties again ayails himself n,
this early opportunity for stating briefly few nsn
facts. Mr.. Waterman says:
"A Tow months go " ~ taKen down with aevers
eickness which confined mo TO tho house uuite ,onu
une ana much OF tho time very lamo al to be
10 walkand my loft leg from tho hip to the tocs
became monstrously swollon and su ered or tromo
~ from mo constant intense pains produced by 40
great iDtiaInmation was trying tho various 30 called
cures all the time. and under tho treaimont of
physician soyon weeks but getting no substantaI ro
| OF. Atthis time an oldtmo friend a police oicer
called upon mo. and d ring our conversation In
iorlne mo OF tho great benefit which no had obtained
oy the use OF Hunts Remody. and urgod ma tn trvi
aS no considered 1t wonderful mo cina con,
menced taking Hunts Remedy, having yory Httlo
latin that 1t would do much In suoh stubboro ca y,
aa mne, but my doubt soon dispolIed for before
had taken ono bottle began to aet better tho eo
we're pains Disappeared the swollon leg gradually do
creased In sze and was encouraged to oontinue tLo
use OF tho Romedy. and tho improvement tony heath
continues; my appetite is good. have roy aimed INV
strength. and am now performing again NV dutios
and down stairs moro than one hundred times and nm
In good condition. and feel that my recovery s dine r.
Hunts Remedy alone My severe sicknoss and terri.
by swollen log was caused by the diseased state of nv
ktdneys. and think 1t is a most valuable mediono
that Will 70 speedily relieve and cure such snvnro
caso as mine. 1 therefore most oheerfuIv rcco,n
mend Hunts Remedy to all afflicted with kIdnev di
cases. as know It to bo safe and reliable modjo,n
'"PRovIDEEoE. Decomber 8, I88an
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-04-24

For SOUP, what are called the poor
parts-sbanks of the leg, and scrags OF
neck portions, arc really the best, be-
cause, being much exercised, they have
had moro blood pass through them,
and have more nourishment, Remove
all fat from soup piece, but leaye all
the gristle; out the meat and gristlo
into small portions; put OF, with the
bones, in cold water, and cook very
gently for hours. When vegetables aud
barley arc used, put these in g separate
saucepan and cook by themselves. You
cannot boil meat gently. because boiling
is violent ebullltion of heat at 212 de-
grees. The temperature of simmering
water is 100 to ITO degrees, when tiry
bubbles como up to the surface now
aud then. In soup making tho heat
Should not get beyond this point.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-04-24
DURING the week of PRAYER lately he

DURING the week of prayer lately held
in Pennsylvania church congregation
one of the brethren had some remarks
to make about temperance and habits
which certain pc pie had OF drinking
cider. II am gong to pray to the Lord" "
he added, "that any one in this congre-
cation who makes or handles or sells
the stuff shall have burden of sorrow
put upon him until he turns from the
error of his ways. ''When do you be
gin, Brother Smlth?" asked a toiI-hard-
ened granger, as he rose up. ''To-night,
Brother Tompkins-this very night.
II wish you wouldn't. I've got forty
barrels OF cider on hand, and I want
wGiok to sell aid snip SHIP. After After tliat yoG 81
can psel your coat and go in six-horse
powor."
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-04-24
HUMOROUS.

JUDGE PETER DoMpEY attended the
inaugural ball, and he enjoyed himself
so much that about midnight 1t took
four men to bring him home IN hack
and in q oomatose condition to h1s wife.
She, thinking from the looks of him Chat
he had rush OF blood to the head, sent
for the physician, who Investigated the
patient carefully, and then directed that
the family p .stor be sent for at once.
In short time the clergyman was
bending over the couch Of the dying
reveler, The clergyman was in the
midst of ali earnest prayer when he
smelt o rat, or rather the aroma of wh,s.
key. ct think" said the clergyman,
that our friend has already had more
spiritual consolation than Ii good for
him." Eyes, he is drunk" calmly re.
piled the phEsiolan. "Why, then, did
you send for me2" "Becnuse, you see,
T didn't care to be the only fool on this
sah OCCASION
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-04-24

AN affecting scene: An Austin. young
lady, who has enjoyed the advantages
OF n classical education at q Northern
female college, happened to be at home
when hor aged grandmother was stricken
down with fatal illness. The entire
family gathered around the death. bed
OF the old lady, who, ia feeble voice,
said: "Good-by to you MI, am gwine
ter peg out" "Grandmother !" OK
claimed the young Lady, in tragic tone
of voice, ''please don't say that Don't
say you arc gwlue to p % out. S,y you
are going to expire or that you oontem-
plate approaching dissolution. 1t
sounds 30 much better."
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-04-24

The advertisement of the New York SUN
which commences this week in our columns
will be continued for three months. TIE
Sun states that tho circulation OF it's several
editions last year was 55,55G, 030, against
6O,236,9l9 tho year previous. THE SUN,
while 1t furnishes u live and generally &C
ceptable newspaper ut n very low rate, OK.
pends a great ,iv.,i of money 10 advertise the
fact. This Is one of tho secrets of its suo
cess. THE SUN believes that every man
should subscribe for and literally support
his local newspaper first and foremost
Having done this consceutioMsly and faitl.
fully, 1t advises all those who may wish tc
supplement- their town or county paper viii
metropolitan journal, to give THE SUN Il
trial.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-04-24

".+' Help yourself and others will help
you." But don't fail to use Kidney. Wort
for all liver, kidney, and bowel complaints,
piles, costiveness, etc. The demand of
tho people for an easier method of prepar-
ing Ktdney-Wort has induced the proprie-
tors, the well.known wholesale druggists,
Wells. Richardson g Co., OF Burlington,
VT, to prepare 1t for sale IN liquid form az
well as IN dry form.
Beg"Explioit directions for every use are
given with the Diamond Dyes. For dying
Moses, Grasses, Eggs, ivory, Hair, SO.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-04-24
henamdn'a PcDtnnizcd hne{ tonic III

hensman's Pcptonizcd beef tonic. tn.
only preparation OF beef containing It's on.
tire nutritious properties. 1t contains
blood-making, force generating and life
sustaining properties; invaluable for indi-
gestion, dyspepsia, nervous prostretion, and
all forms OF general debility; also, III all
enfeebled conditions, whether the result Of
exhaustion, nervous prostraJlon, overwork
or acute disease, particularly II resulting
flom pulmonary complaints. Caswell,
Hazard g Co., proprietors Now Yorb.
Sold by all druggists.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-04-24

10 Cure FELoN. of soft I've
soap and f1axseed meal a sufficient quen-
tlty, stirring the meal in slowly with a
spatula or case knife, manipulating
thoroughly, 80 rs to form q salve or
poultice. Corn meal is good substi-
tute for tho haxseed. Envelope the
finger in this. applying snugly, and oc-
caslonally pressing it to bring it In close
contact. Renew the poultice every 10
or "a hours. Don't try every prescrip-
ton you may hear of. 1t will, il ap.
Piled in time, abolt the disease; if adop-
ted later, it will bring it to a small
"head" Cf not too far to be scattered),
when it may be plicked almost painless
ly.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-04-24

&SAUoE EoR MAAT-A hot sauce fol
meats, which will be found very piquant
and appetiEing, may be made by chop.
ping two onions very fine and adding
them to q oan of tomatoes; also tea
spoonful each OF cayenne pepper, CHINA
mon, Gle YES, salt, just grating Of nut
meg and pinch OF ground mace. Let
those all boil together until the toma.
toes nre thiokenin9; then take from the
fire and stir into it cupiul OF stlonh
vinegar.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-04-24

AN admirable court: ''My dear fellow, "
said the late Lord chancellor Westburg
ono day to Ex-Lord Chief Justice Erie,
''why do You not attend the judicial
committee of the Privy Coancil p "Be
cause I am, old, deaf and stupid. "
"That is no reason at ALL" rejoined the
aoidulated Chancellor, "for I am old,
William is deaf, and Colon.Say is stu.
pid, yet we make OH admirable Court of
Appeal"