The Red Cloud chief., 1883-11-30

eft eenough. - you ssy."r
msrkc4s4o ~ Rwn locksmith. "thsi
my place ID appear particular,
amusing. Eou hsd been in this
business as n 1 hxse-nigh OF
forty years-yoed have rome aers.s
some inicresiok hulc circumstance
/: 5on't besisve that there are any que =
er men on earth than the regular chrou-
ic key cranks.
Now. here Is . couple Of dozen keys
all of exactly the same pattern. that ]
am making for one He Doesn't
know that I'm making them; but !
know that he's suse Ia call for one os
these keys pretty regularly dnce n week
until they ~ al gone Hes n genuine
loser and the mos; curious thing
about the matter II that ne has not the
rcmotes. idea Of how or where he eve
lost q key. A few weeks ago he had =
small cios4 made to hold a duplicate.
Well. "a no men are 50 really tn lock
things up as key losers. the fret thing
he did was 10 have a lock pot on hi.
closet. Then. Of course. he used To lose
that key. toe. and every few days he
would have 10 break open his little cup
board with a hammer. Finding after
awhile that he was losing two keys in
stead Of one. he had 10 return to the old
plan.
That tall man. WHO just went out
is a little queer. by the way. though
he's not n heavy key loser; he won't
average more than tvo 4 month. Last
winter he had n box constructed and
nailed so his basement door. II was
TO receive newspapers in. He sad
he always got his papers all right.
but some one in the house wa
sare to look over them before he did.
Now I don't think I'm a selfish man.
he used TO say. but il there il anything
] do enjoy il Is To sit down before IN,
coffee and just unfold my fresh morn
ing paper myself Perhaps he is right
I've sometimes felt that way myself; il
nav be one Of the regular laws ~ hu
man nature. Howsomcver. this man
just told me that he thinks he has dis
covered how he loses his keys. He went
to a restaurant the other day and called
for the newspaper. AZ he was going
out the waiter brought him his key,
and then he recollccted that he hal
taken il from his pocket and laid il on
the table when he asked for the news.
d OF course he had no reason To
do il. but the key and the newspaper
had become SO associated in his mind
that he took out the key without think
ine about it. Yet, a 4 rule. a key loser
never finds Out the truth about II. Will
this man be all right after this? | hard
ly think so. The chances are that he
will leave the key in the very next place
he enters where they keep newspapers.
81 have n customer who expe l.
me to have duplicates Of his keys al
ways on hand, not NJ the shop,
but at my house, for he always
and all. Four or five nights in the year
| hear a tremendous ring at the door
bell. l hollcr All right ont Of the
window. and then grab the duplicate
bunch and slip down stairs with it.
Lor. bless you. / always know who il
is. | | believe he is a lawyer. and I'm
told that he emphasizes his points in
after-dinner speeches by poking his big
gest key in the palm Of his hand.
Where he puts item afterward he never
knows, and he ism the kind Of a 10
give himself away by inquiring.
..Oh. no.. l wouldn't ave for thieves
tradc-it isn't worth a cent. But give
me the servants trade andal the night
key business. ami l would do we'll.
New York is the greatest place on earth
in which to sell night-kcy@. Did you
know that night-keys are generally lost
near mems own houses? The reason j.
that many men. when they have been a
little indiscrcct at the club. commence
TO make elaborate preparations for
entering their houses while they are
still a half a block or more away. They
will get the key ready first, and while
they are pulling their clothes straight
or fixing their hat. will lose it.
"A customer Of this kind that l had
for six years told me once how he got u
lesson. 1t seems that he always had tn
work on n particular plan -couldn't
help it. He would first take out his
key, and then sit on his doorstep tn pull
of his boots. During TIE latter opera
ton he would lay dnvn his key and
lose il. and he obliged to ring. Some
times he would lose both the kew and
the boots; but he never dared Ia men
ton the fact ut the breakfast table. He
asked me once-it was the day after
Christmas-to GUESS what present his
wife had given him. Well, sir. il con
sisted of eleven night-keys and three
pairs If boots. Il tween the servant
girl and the milkman the crop had been
gathered in and given to the old lady
In u single year.
There's one fact | could az.
count for. and that is how men with
good memories otherwise will fail in
the matter of keys. A man sent for
me from down town on three occasions
to pick a lock for him when he had the
key about him each time. He was one
Of the regular losers. and had tried all
sorts of ways To get over the habit.
At last he tied the KEY around his neck.
When he sent for mo he was trying
one pocket after another in q perfect
fury. Just rs l got the picker to
work he yelled: Great jerusalem
Here it is around my neck! He did
the same thing twice.
How do people in general lose
keys? Well, with them it !. mere
carelessness and forgetfulness, and
they generally find them again. 1t re-
quires a genuine key crank to lose q
key instaniancously, completely and
forever. Some folks. mostly women.
lose keys from a habit they have of
playing with them. You will notice
they often dangle or twirl them around
their forefinger. and If they only re-
member-which they generally do-tO
twirl them over a boat rail or q bridge
rail O q grating of some kind. they
only do what l would generally be
prepared to expect Of them.-N. y.
San.