New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-05-09
Two Heads Under Water.

AV1aCo 0aIutll, D cOlOEeU man WITH
q smile like that of q 4-months old calf,
put his head in bucket of water ut
Eighth and Lombard streets, Philadel-
phia, and won charming little mulatto
wife: The peculiar way in which he
gained her was owing to the fact that
bitter contest had been going on for her
hand for several months between HIM
self and George Smith, a colored gen
teman Of q peculiarly olive-white tint,
who lives on Dugan street, above Pine,
and hawks bottles and rags for living.
On Sunday last the men came to the
conclusion that it would be as well to
have the matter fixed up, once for all.
Gardell was especially clamorous, as he
had just inherited $50 from the estate of
a deceased aunt and wanted some one
to help spend it. On the other hand,
Smith tried to counterbalance this by
representing that he was manipulating
for corner in the rag and bottle mar
ket, or something Of that sort, and
would soon net several dollars Miss
Tack, dressed in red and green, with
blue feathers ito MATCH" told the pair
frankly that they were equally ravishing
to her eyes and that she could not for
the life of her decide which to marry.
''Set us some task, exclaimed Smith.
Let us prove to you in a tangible way
that we love you. Then the man who
proves the 'tangiblest' can be your hus-
band.''
Gardell assented, but demanded that
the task should have no reference to
bottles or rags, with which, he said, he
was by no means familiar. Then Smith
proposed that the fishing profession pre-
objections, with which the other man is
identified, should be excluded. Gardell.
who once worked for diver, suggested
that the man who could swim under the
Delaware for few miles or SO without
breathing should have the prize. Smith
dissented on the ground that this had
something to do with fishing. Finally,
the men got down to buckets Of water,
and the terms of the contest, as it was
held, were formally put and carried by
the following vote: Ayes-Nettie Tack
and Gardell; no-Smith. When they
reached the arena they ranged them
selves round the buckets and the cler-
Bman stood near, ready to marry any
one to anybody.
''Time?' roared the Rev. Josiah Iry-
ing.
In second two woolly heads were
ducked into the buckets. After fifty
seconds Smith began to squirm and
wriggle as if severely tried. At fifty
three seconds Smith withdrew his skull
from the water and five seconds later
Gardell did the same.
'Bravo! You've got hertz shrieked
the crowd with one voice.
But it was not so. There were to be
three rounds, with one minute interval,
and the man who kept his head under
longest was to be the winner.
'.Down again!n was beloved out this
time by Rev. Thomas Chain, and the
heads popped under u second time with
two separate splashes. Smith pulled
and blew horribly and kicked out lusti-
~. hurting the prospective bride consid-
erably. He made fifty seconds and
Gardell 'forty-nine. Things were getting
exciting and very many Of the specta.
tors could hardly contain themselves.
''Iime! Put 'em under!' once more
yelled the Rev. Josiah Irving, and down
went the heads. Gardell seemed rather
blown, but he made forty-two seconds
against forty 70 Smith, who came up al
most dead. It was really walk
over for the Baltimorean, and Smith
felt so miserably that he said nothing.
The winner, however, was dried and
patted on the back. Then his clerical sec
onder got up and solemnly pronounced
the marriage ceremony, binding Miss
Nettie Tack and Mr.. Horace Gardell to-
gether for life.
The winning party took late train
to Baltimore. where the laurel and or
ange blossonl-crOwned victor is q steve
dore. The unfortunate and defeated one
skunk off. Smith declaring that he new
er wanted the brides hand; that he
could have won it if he had chosen, and
that the whole thing was done for fun.
'But it will make talk in Lombard
street, said he.