The weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1883, 1883-02-07
WITOF THE WEEK.

\
A daily ahieluu train has beon started
on the rennsyhanis raiiroad. They
have pasasngc- eoaeh in tho rear and Z
locomotive to pul1ex
When a lady who has been taken music
Lessons for the past eishs yean hang
back and blushes and says she really
can't play, don't insist On it. The ehancsa
are thst she can't.
When man ''mystesiously diAp.
pearp" nowadays his friends dsn't begin
dragging the river or casting around for
= murderer until it is known how bis
books stand and how much money he
had borrowed.
4 man at hotel fell the whole length
Of . fight Of stain. Servants suahed 70
pick him up. They ashsd him il he wss
hurt. "No," he replied, mot stan. I'm
used to coming down thst w.. Pm 4
life insurance agent"
A. yellow street dog 10 never more
reckless in the presence Of gamins - OH
. hard, cold day, for then he knows oil
the tin eape asd stoAas 40 ftssep -
solidly to the snoqnA that the boy s0V
move thean.-Frs5
Charles father wished to find out his
sons bent, 20 he asked: sCharlie, Whist
are you going to b. when you grow up'"
"Going TO be . man" came quick - fash.
"1snt that . good thing to be-"
The clergyman in certain town, - the
custom Is, having published the bands Of
matrimony between to persons, was fol-
lowed by the clerks reading tho hymn
beginning with these words: Mistaken
souls, who dream Of heaven"
We are willing 70 take . certain
amount Of stock IN AswspApsr accounts
Of western cyclones. but whom an Arkan-
sas paper tells Us about zephyr carry.
ing bed quilt sixtyope miles, and then
went back for tho sheet. ne ai4't there.
A South End woman received q tele-
gram, and her face blanched and her
hand trembled as she held the unopened
envelope before her. Giving It to her
daughter, she said, Read It," The girl
obeyed. Papa hes broken his leg and
gone to the hospital" she said. The
mothers face Enlightened, Thank heaven
it is no worse," she said; II feared he
might be going to bring somebody to
dinner"
A new stage kiss has been invented
which Lasts two minutes, and the only way
to prevent the over.crowing of the dra-
matte profession is for the star actress to
eat onions just before going on the stage.
Nothing will quicker shatter two min
ute kiss and make it droop and die away
in two seconds, than an onion-laden
breath.
AChicago lady once applied to a learn
ed judge for a divorce. What is the
the pame of the hushaAd?" Inquired the
learned Judge. Il have no husband yet,
but in as much rs contemplate matri-
mony, feel that l should be prepared
for the worse"
A dog and his tail fell into dispute as
to which should wag the other. An
itinerant wasp passing that way casually
remarked: Speaking Of tails, reminds
me that I possess one which may possi-
hla IN influential c. an u ...- rag you
BOTH" That fable teaches that ten cents
worth of dynamite is bigger man than
a church steeple.
An editor once owned three hundred
thousand dollars worth of railroad stock,
twentv-one thousand dollar government
bonds, six white shirts, a country resi-
dence on the Hudson, farm in Illinois,
a span Of horses and wagon, two suits
of clothes and plug hat. This fable
teaches us that all the liars are not dead
yet.
A little boy asked mamma" the fol-
lowing questions, to which all "mamma's"
answers are not yet recorded:
"Mamma, if bear should swallow me
! should die, shouldn't II"
eyes, dear"
"And should 60 to heaven?"
eyes, dear"
"And would the bear have to 60 too?"
A few days ago, as two young men
were passing near Trinity Church, they
We're stopped by little boy, who was
sitting on the outside Of the railing, with,
young gentlemen, please help the
blind"
"How do you know we are young gen
tlemcn,' said cue, "if you are blind?"
"Oh," said the boy. Il meant deaf and
dumb" They give him copper.
Mr.. Lawrence Mackey is little of a
crank on the subject Of collecting ancient
coins. Yesterday Uncle Nose, whom
Mackey used to own before the war, ap-
preached his old master on Austin Ave
nue and said to him;
cam it a fac, boss, dat you pay liberal
ly for rare coins"
Mr.. Mackey said that such was his
habit.
"Well, den," responded Nose, handing
over a coin, "gib me dollar, and you
may add dat coin to yer collection
"Why, that's not a rare coin-that's
only quarter"
Il tell you ole marster, quarter-of.a-
dollar am a berry rare coin wild dis pooh
niggah desc Christmas times. Loan me
dollar, ole marster" He got it.
It was a clothing dealer on the Bowery
and as the slab sided young man opened
the door he rubbed his hands over each
other and said:
Come in my frient. l guest you wash
looking for an ovcrcoat. Try on dis one
for 81.
''Thankee. I got about $50 in nv