National Republican., 1883-10-09
CURRENT GOSSIP.


rhyme with attractive. Where is sullivan?
A LIFE of John c. Calhoun is being written
by Col. Pinckney starke Of South Carolina.
NEVER despiso man because he wears
ragged coat II may have money in the pock-
cts
M JULES VERNE is so years old. His hair
and beard are turning white, and he is growing
fat
A CABLE dispatch saysS "The Skuptchina
has been dissolved" 1t must have been q tough
job.
MATCHES are low but il seems a pity 20
strike them when they are down.-NCU York Jour
nal
Mr. +. II. CUSHING, the zuni, has dis
covered that the prehistoric Indian smoked cigar
cites.
AFTER Oct. the absent friend that writes
no letter doesn't care cents for you.-New York
Nous.
THEY'VE struck oil in China. It's turn
OIL and can't be made light oL-Iutsburg 7eto-
graph
IT is said the willy Bismarck has advised
King Alfonso TO exercise a fOrgiving spirit toward
France.
JUDGE L. C. CouLsoN, leading southern
republican, thinks that Arthur will succeed him
self as president
"YEs," said the reporter, I" l always carry
my copy in my hat" "I Sec" replied Fogg,
news in a nut hell"
SITTING BULL is reported very i'll. This,
doubtless, accounts for his joining the church.
"W hen the devil was sick," &c.
IT is scarcely proper to speak of man as
possessing Irregular habits when he storms about
regularly every nieht.-R0chcster.
A ABALTIMoRE judge has decided that tho
Maryland law cannot restrain woman's use of
her favorite weapon--her tongue.
WHEN q young man escorts his girl homo
after evening service he fluids that the longest
way round is near enough for him.
A YOUNG girl should never cat por5m-
mons. They pucker up the mouth 80 that ono
cannot help but accept the invitation.
AYoUNG woman who was frightened by
little dog until she was yellow, said 1t made her
terrier caught her color.-CinciRnaH 1rdU6er.
LONG YIP, u Chinese laundryman of Oil :
City, has gone home to China for bride. Not
even Chinaman will marry an Oil City girl
THE last piece of timber of tho bourbon dy-
nasty in France is gone. 1t was but poor figure
head, anyway-only Il Chambord-Yhe Judge
DARWIN says that the monkey can blush.
lie certainly ought to when he sees the way bis
decendents are cutting up-Buriin0ton Free Press.
ALL the professions seem to be over
crowded. There are 0,0OO professional burglars
| in this country and not work enough for half of
| them.
THERE must bo good many men out of
| employment in the old country wnen there are
| 10000 applications for Marwood's, the hangman,
| place.
THE American hog should feel flattered. A
national commission to examine into the state of
| his health will commence sitting in Chicago ON
| Nov 10.
| NEW YORKER who has 100000, wants
| to marry woman with similar amount Sill
he can't be blamed for preferring woman with
n nice figure.
WHEN man drops dollar out of his pocket
he doesn't make much OF II time, but when he
loses n collar button worth cents he goes on like
q madman-PUct
A VERMONT editor, in publishing one Of
Byron's poems, changed the words "oh, gods!" to
| "oh, gosh because the former was too proiane
| for his rcaders-BOst0n Post.
"BUr l will not dilatc,' said the stump
speaker. "If you do, am afraid the excited au-
dience will cause you TO die early" yelled red
nosed man in the back row.-0R CHy Derrick.
A RURAL subscriber wishes to know if it is
wrong TO cat pie with n knife Well, no; not ex-
actly wrong, but we prefer TO eat ours with the
teeth, ns our grandlathers did-OH city Derrick.
AN exchange notes the fact that complete
pi ece of music can now be bought for the same
price as fye-cent cigar. Yes, but the bother Oft
is, it's just about the same quality.-Bwttngton
Free Press.
| HARRY New, JR proprietor of the lndan-
apois Jotrndl assaulted and battered John q.
Thompson, editor of the Washington Chronicle, in
the streets of the Indiana capital on Thursday for
writing articles about young New and his father
John C. New.
WHEN you notice man on the street with
the toes of his shoes nicely blacked, but with the
heels looking as though they had been sunburnt,
YOU can make up your mind that he accomplished
the job himself.
THERE is an old proverb which says: "You
cannot get more out OF a bottle than was put in
it," This is a mistake. man can get all that was
put in the bottle and in addition TO this can get
$40 or thirty days
CARTER HARRISON is now in Iowa unbot-
tling himselfin behalf of the democratic cause 1t
is believed that the republican majority will In
crease proportionatcly with the number of
speeches he Is permitted TO make.
THEY boast that there is n tame crow in
Manchester Va, that goes all around the town and
sometimes us far as Richmond, and regularly re-
turns home TO be fed; but then that is nothing re-
markable. Any dude can do that
HENRY STUDY, of Ransom, ILL.,, left $685. 900.
, He was cripple from birth. At the close of the
war he donned soldiers uniform, invented pa
thetic story, and began to travel rs n beggar. In
three years he got over $4,000 and the interest
, he lived in idlcness.
WHAT would we do without poets? The
latest piece of information In verse begins, "Ihe
} golden rod is yellow. How horrible IL would
S have been had the public been obliged to remain
under the halluGination that the golden rod was
scarlet.-Oa C,ty Derrick.
Rosa RoNHEUR has reached her sixty. first
year in capital health and with seemingly ex-
a hnustless fund of strength and energy AL
though herself so Indifferent to the worlds opin-
L ion both in her manners aud her dress, she docs
S not advise Others to follow her example.
LADY ANNE BLoUNT, daughter of the earl
of Lovelace and his late countess, Ada Augusta
v Bryon is said TO be speaking likeness OF her
! grandfather, Lord Bryon. When Lady Anne was
presented TO the queen, her majesty kissed her
saying as she did 81 do that for the love bear
}. your ancestor, the poet whom most love-
GEORGE II. PENDLEToN and John Il, Nc
Lean have effected compromise under the terms
o of which Mclean is not to pick his teeth with a
o fork and Pendloon is not to wear cuffs until the
q close of the Ohio campaign. It is believed that
{ these mutual concessions give to Judge Hoadly's
chances the faintest color Of hope--Chtcago NeiSs
THE machinery in paper mill at Manches
=. E,.a l.tpps anlu lfAalrf Ina