The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1883-11-15
Searching the Scriptures,


work any better. ''Say, my dear, do
you know where to find that text, For
the unbelieving husband is sanctifed in
the wife?' "
"In Exodus, isn't it?' replied Mr..
Spoopendyke. ''It sounds like Exodus.
Where's the Bible?''
81 was looking for it to-day" return
ed Mrs. SpoOpendyke, getting up and
preparing for another search. II don't
think it is in Exodus, because it sounds
have stolen the Bible, for | haven't
seen it since we came from the coun-
try"
That's kind of curious" soliloquiz-
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke, arousing himself
to assist in the investigation. 81 don't
know who would want to steal a Bible.
Don't you remember where you put it?
Think it's in here?' and Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke upset the bandbox containing his
wife's new hat, and then made 1unge
for the fancy coal scuttle behind the
stove. 'You had it last, what did you
do with it?''
''It wouldn't be apt to get in there,
would it?" suggested Mr.. Spoopendyke,
trying to divert her husbands atten-
ton by rattling the vases ON the bu-
reau.
''lf it's the orthodox Bible, it's liable
to penetrate anywhere and every
wherer retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke,
abandoning the coal scuttle and making
a dive for the button bag. ''Strikes me
that Bible is keeping pretty quiet for the
Word" he ruminated as he tipped the
buttons out ON the floor, and darted
across the room to try the bureau
drawers. ''Be in a fine fix if minister
should happen to drop in now and ask
for family worship. Have to tell him to
90 on his recollection or start a new
theory of his own," and Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke pulled the shams off the bed and
then got down ON his hands and knees
to look under it. "I'll bet q hat it's
where said it was"
"Where's that, dear?" asked Mrs.
Spoopendyke, supposing he had found
it.
"In Exodus," snorted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, wiping the ornaments off the
mantel piece and looking behind the
clock. Cant you remember what /
say from one moment to another? If
you had any memory, with your habits
of classification, you'd only need the
coat of arms of all nations and little
more incoherence to make first rate
dictionary! 1 don't know, though"
continued Mr.. Spoopendyke, ruminat-
ing ON this proposition while he tore
the things out of the. wardrobe. ..I
don't know but what you would have
to get new binding and have your
sides marbelized. You don't suppose
that Bible got lonely and went off
into the country on its own hook, do
you?"
'1'm sure l don't know" murmured
Mrs. Spoopendyke. Il can't imagine
it would do thing like that. 81 think
it's only mislaid. Well find it."
'Well, / should remark" replied
Mr.. Spoopendyke, without meaning the
slightest irreverence. There may be
only one small fish OF a crust of the
bread left, but we'll find what there is
before we go to bed! Unless that Bibles
gone to get itself revised there'll be no
sleep in the Spoopendyke apartments
until we lay our hands lovingly ON that
dear old family Bible! Maybe it's hid
under bushel!" and he capsizcd the
waste paper basket and scattered the
contents over the room.
Il don't know but what it is in Exo-
dus,' said Mrs. .Spoopendyke, with her
finger in her mouth. ''Now come to
think it over I'm sure it's in Exodus,
SO you needn't look for it any more. +"
81 know it's in Exodus" said Mr..
Spoopendyke, kicking his wife's work
basket across the floor and turning the
contents over with the toe of his boot.
''But I'm going to find out which end
If ia in hat T 70 I,,c
ness again! How do you suppose any
ones to know when we were married
or when the baby was born or when we
died if we don't find that Biblep Think
I'm gong through life without a Bible
to refer to when I'm lonely and de-
pressed? Got some kind of notion be-
cause I'm good and pious that religion
comes natural to me, haven't ye? Well,
it don't. I've got to keep posted just
as well as any one else! Where's that
Biblep" demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke,
rising in wrath as the book seemed to
evade his search. whats become OF
the pious injunctions of my youth?
How m going to be able to tell Solo
mons wives from the rest of his family
unless l have the book before mep
Where's my Maccabees and my Fac
cheus? Where are the friends of my
boyhoodP" and Mr.. Spoopendyke
Strengthened up in the middle of the
room and glared at his wife as though
she had inflicted on him mortal in
jury: ae
They've been dead some time re-
piled Mrs. Spoopendyke, who always
took everything literally. Anyway,
you don't care about them tonight"
''And my Abraham begat Isaac, and
Isaac begat Jacob, and Jacob begat
Judah and his brethren! Where are
theyP Suppose some fellow asks me
| tomorrow who Judah's brethren begat,
what am to say? What're ye stand
| ing there for. looking like a hole in
the fence for? Think that helps you
any?"
'Say, dear, commenced Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. Don't you remember the
night you and Mr.. Specklewottle got
| into a dispute as to whether the prodi-
gal son was thrown into the pit, or was
the one whose ear Peter cut off for hid
ing his talents in napkin? | haven't t
| seen the Bible since then. You had it
out, and when you got through you put
it in your silk hat, and here it is now!'
and Mrs. Spoopendyke held up the
missing volume, her face wreathed in
smiles of delight that things had not
been any worse.
Found it, didn't you?" growled Mr..
Spoopendyke, snatching the book out
of her hands. Another time, when l
get through with it. you remember
what l do with it. Now, let's find that
measly text you were so anxious about. "
And Mr.. Spoopendyke pored through
Exodus and then laid down the book in
disgust There's no such thing in the
Bible" he said. Il knew there WASH
all the time, but wanted to prove it tc
you"
LET me look,'' suggested Mrs.
Spoopendyke, and, turning to 1 Cor
inthians, villa, she found and read il
to him. 81 had an idea it was in somc
of Paul's writings" she remarked a.
she shut the book and put it away.
That's what you always haver'
roared Mr.. Spoopendyke, enraged by
his defeat. IF you should ever r1lr
short of ideas you'd be comparatively
smart woman! Some day I'm going tc
put spiggot in your dod gasted mouth
| Il