davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1883-12-30

The Kirk Mystery solved Grants con
dillon.
THE KIRK MURDER

TIM hlRk NJ Rbhk,
Cincinnati, Dec,37 w. Bchman aud
John Palmer have been arrested for
the murder of VIM. Kirk. Both
confessed the crime. Bohemian was
first arrested aud told his story. say
lug that Palmer struck the fatal blow.
l he murder was done on Monday
night in Kinks stable aud the body
was hauled away the same night.
Palmer in his confession saws that ii
was agreed between himself aud Beh-
man to Kill Kirk for his money, the
one striking the first blow to have
500 In excess of the other. lilo says
that lehman struck the frat blow
and that strcrward both of them
pounded Kirk with r hammer and
club. Palmer lisa light mulatto aged
10; Behman ia Il German, aged Is.
GRANTS CONDITION.
New York, December 29.--Thcrc
is Il marked Improvement In General
Grants condition to-day. The pain
Is not 40 severe, and he rested con-
fortably during the night. His ply
sicans say he will be out in three OF
fpir unNa
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1883-12-30

A man who ia full ut bile isa nuisance.
Present him with bottle NJ Smiths
Bile Beans, aud mnk' his days hnpp
und his nights peaceful. p cents per
bottle. ll-lS.dNY-lw
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-06-26
The Wrong Lady.

A handsomely dressed lady and
gentlemen, SAYS the St. Louis Post
Dispatch, had entered the car, and a
very large and very black negress had
also entered. sitting down very near
the ofside of the gentleman aforesaid
and next to the door, The lady and
gentleman were of that uncertain age
That made it difficult to determine
whether they were husband and wife
or lover and sweetheart. When the
car neared Eighteenth street the gen.
tlemen mOtioned the conductor to
stop the car. The car stopped, the
gentleman climbed out on the street
very tenderly assisted her whom he
thought his lady companion of the
car step, and arm in arm the compile
walked to the sidewalk. They would
be walking yet for aught We know,
had not a silver voice of despair from
tie car platform. wailing out willie.
oh Obj, Willie, aroused the absent
minded young man to a full realiza-
ton of the color Of the female dang
ling on his arm. With a glance at
the negress by hi: side and wave of
the hand to his deserted lady, he
jumped for the car platform, handed
the lady down and walked her of
down street at a 2 40 gait. As the
reunited couple disappeared in the
deepening shadows the odorous daugh-
ter of Africa, who had awaited the
denouement, sang out: "Ta-ta. Willie,
ia, Ia
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-06-26

1t appears that she had overheard
him making arrangements to elope
with her sister, and, knowing the
place Of meeting, determined to go
there ahead of her, and thus tool the
young man. for whom she entertained
a secret liking. although she was en-
gagged 10 he married TO his brother.
Our informant also states that after
they had lived together for some time
the elder brother, determining to make
the most of the situation, cook unto
himself :he other sister.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-06-26
When They Spill Things.

Laramie bDoi!lcFa'--
There are a class Of timid people
who are afraid of store clerk, and
who hardly dare to 90 away without
buying something. They tremble at
the sight Of waiter, and fee him,
and patiently take what he places be-
fore them, never grumbling. They
reverence a conductor or brakeman
as if he were prime minister, and
are filled with glory if he only does
not put them OFT the car. They al
ways take the poorest seat for fear
people will think them selfish and if a
SNOWFALL hits them Oh the head they
turn and smile a 7ote of thanks to
the hoodlum that threw il. They are
moi Uriah Keeps, but modest. un-
worldly. good-hearted people who adj
mire the saucy ones. But away down
in their hearts there is spirit of Wild
Bill, and once in a while, when too
much imposed upon, they rise up and
spill things.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-06-26

The Public is requested carefully to notice the
nsw and charged scheme to be drawn Monthly.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-06-26

we went round through the pine
woods. Then We came home. while
the western sky blszed with the sur
set. My accepted lover babe me
goodbye at the door and went down
the avenue
well, ADJ was mammals liz.
quiry.
Ais well, mamma" l answered,
laughing and blushing.
"You will be a porlionless bride. re.
member. my darling"
DO You suppose Uncle Adam
meant all that ?"
Jumped up. 81 am going now"
| said.
laughed all the way down to the
study. Uncle Adam was busily writ
ing.
"rake a seat. take a seat" he said.
without looking up. "I'll have every
toing ready in few minutes. What
is your conclusion ?"
"Iil sign it, uncle, but I'm afraid
it mill make me very unhappy
why, Ida, l thought it was the
very thing to make you happy"
Eyes. Uncle Adam" said, having
recourse to my handkerchief; ''but
then l don't want to live single"
"Oho,! !" said he. You've changed
your mind. You don't want the
money!"
Yes, l do" 1 exclaimed. with a
hysterical little sob. 81 love him !;
but l won't marry him without any
thing of my own. I'm ashamed
"Ada," he said severely, ''tell me
straight up and down-whom do you
love?"
"Mr Rounsaville, said l. solemnly.
You are a foolish child" said
Uncle ADAM" gently patting my
head. Il knew Roundsaville was
coming here to-day. If you marry
Round aviIle, II give you s10.OOO."
"Will you, uncle?' ! cried in &C.
stacy.
Don't cry any more. them" he
sad, almost tenIerly. kiss ne, my
dear. and 60 tell your mother"
And Uncle Adam gave ME. on my
wedding day. the $4,000 check, with
which, originally, he had b-ibed me to
be an old maid.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-06-26

"this is no place for such riotous con
duct. You know l have experienced
a change of heart, a0d am now on al
vocate ofpeace.'
"Oh. give us slack on that CHR
music" howled the crowd. owe
don't want no gospel grease spread
on our hair"
"But, boys, l don't want you to be
so loud"
"Hi-yi," they shouted; "listen to
the church organ playin' hymns amt
it whole meetin' house with a brass
cupalow throwed in ?"
Listen to me, boys I"
"Hooray for a sermon? Les have
hot one. Shovel the birthstone
right in, and make the fire sizz %
Then he got mad, and whipping
out his revolver:
You hear me, you ADVANTAGEOUS
rioters of the Rockies I'm man of
peace; of meek and gentle humility /;
but this old gun of mine is just what
she used to be, aud the first id
skunk of a cowboy that don't like my
style will git it right where it will do
the most good. I've started in to
live the new life, and propose to act
in accordance with it, and any white
Iivered coyote that raises howl will
chaw dust in FIVE seconds and not be
able to spit i: out. III be ID if l
amt going to run this shebang on
strictly religious principles or shut her
up. Now git out O here quick there's
the church bell, and I've got to con-
duct the services. You hear me
skip !"
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-06-26
A KENTUCKY ROMANCE.
Two Brothers, Two Sisters, and an
Unexpected Denounce-
ment.

Falmouth (Ky.l Independent.
Ina certain part of our county there
lived a family, in which there are two
brothers just entering upon the prime
of youthful manhood q short dis
lance from them-in fact in the same
Observation-Disclosures lives another
family in which there are two sisters
also in the prime of maidenhood ;
beautiful, facinating and attractive.
These young people being near neigh.
bOrs and coming in contact with each
other often, almost naturally it would
seem, fell in love with each other, the
eldest brother with one of the sisters
and the younger with the other. All
went smoothly for a time, and these
young people enjoyed themselves and
dreamed bright dreams of the future,
and no doubt in imagination construed
fairy palaces of love, and gardens like
Paradise, which should be only filed
with beautiful flowers and fruits of
happiness and unalloytd enjoyment.
Then, as matter of course, the ques-
ton of marriage arose. which must be
referred to the parents of the young
ladies for approval. The elder had
no difficulty in obtaining their consent
to his marrying the young lady, and
the wedding day was fixed upon.
Then the younger brother went to the
parents and made known bis attach
ment for the other sister and their
mutual desire to '.splice and travel
the road of life together" But the
old folks were decidedly opposed to
having more than one of their girls
marry into ''that family" and plainly
informed him that if he wanted wife
he must 60 elsewhere to get her, init
mating that he should desist paying
further attention to the young lady
in question. But the young man was
determined that if his brother married
one Of the girls he would marry the
other. So he went to the young
"lady of his love-" and told her the
circumstances of the situation, and
desired her. if she loved him, to prove
her love by running of with him.
To this she agreed, and the night was
fixed upon which they should carry
out their mutual agreement. But
now comes the strangest part of the
story. The two young ladies re-
sembled each other very much in
looks, voice, etc., and by some strange
freak, when the night Of elopement
came and the young man went to the
appointed place of meeting, he found
q woman there whom he thought was
the right one, but she was not. Un-
conscious of this, however, he took
her to the place where the marriage
was to be performed before
he found out that he was with the
wrong girl. Most wonderful to re-
late, he thought that after he had gone
to all this trouble he would get mar
ried anyway, 30 he asked her if she
would have him. and she, in order to
carry out the joke. said she would,
and they were married then and there.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-06-26
Bribed to be an Old Maid.
Peterson's Lanes Magazine,

Bribed to be an Old Maid.
From Petersons Lanes Magazine.
| sat down on the velvet cushion. a
mammals feet, rumpling her snowy
wrapper in Il e attempt t. put my
head in her Zap.
Mamma passed her soft. small
hand ever my disordered hair, "Whal
is the matter my chiId?" she asked.
81 think it is this picture, 1 CAM
look at it without envying Laura
Desmond"
''But why? You surely do not en-.
Wy Laura her appearance?"
"But l do, mother. don't like to
be called dark and piquant. l want
to be fair, and calm, and quiet"
"Why, Ada, lam amazed. Don't
you know that certain gentleman
admires brunettes?"
"Don't quote Thee Townsville to
me. l said shortly. "Who cares for
his opinion ?"
Now the truth was, 1 did care for
his opinion, and cared for it q great
deal too much. At one time he had
been very attentive to me. and he
was not only the handsom.st and
wealthiest, but also the NEST accom-
plished bachelor in the neighborhood.
But had affected to be Indifferent to
him, until tired of my coquetry, he
had transferred his attentions else
where.
"But we were talking of Laura" l
said. She has every luxury, and l am
so dependent"
"You know. my dear. said mother
in q grave voice ''that Uncle Adams
home is yours, as long as you choose
to remrin here. 1 do not wish You to
marry, my daughter. except for
love-"
''Fiddlesticks !" said I, inelegantly.
81 tell you, nine women out of ten
marry for homes, or for fear of being
old maids. l believe Uncle Adam is
misery. If he would die and leave
me a legacy. or give me few thous-
ands, l would live single eli the days
of my life"
A door opened and Uncle Adam
walked into the room. Uncle Adam
was a rather old gentleman, but al
ways good-natured. l jumped up,
thoroughly ashamed of myself. Bnt
he only said:
"Come, come, my little girl, this is
pretty hard on your old uncle. I'm
sorry you think me such a miser."
"Oh, uncle" / pleaded, "please for
give me. didn't mean that at all.
I'm out Of spirits, and that makes me
unjust"
"Well, never mind" said Uncle
Adam, busting across the room and
taking a seat. "Come here Miss Ada.
Suppose l bride you to be an old maid,
eh? / will settle ten thousand dollars
on you now, on condition you live
and die Ada Lyon, spinster. Therep
eff you will forgive and forget all
my ugly speeches, uucle, said 4. "l'll
agree to the condition with pleas
ure."
"Ada, said mother, family.
"Let her alone, Agnes. let her
alone, said Uncle Adam, ''she shall
take the matter into due considera-
ton. See here Ada, I'll give ysu- till
night to think about it. Don't be
rash. In order to escape being called
q miser I'll bribe heavily" And
Uncle Adam marched out of the
room.
"Ada, come here" mother said. a.
most in q whisper. "Look cut. Isn't
that Theo Townsville !"
An open LANDAU. drawn by two
superb gray horses in gold-mounted
had just been driven up the
avenve.
"He has come to ask you to drive
with him." said my mother ; cat least
It looks 90.
What delightful day that Was
We drove down to the beach. Then
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-06-26
Strictly Religious Principles.

A saloon-keeper in q wild Western
town was recently converted and
became q member of the church, bu,
continued at his business. which he
proposed to run in a popular manner.
One night q crowd Of cowsboys con-
gregated in his place, and after Gil.
ing up they began to be very bolster
aus.
"Hold on, boys" said the saloonist;
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-06-26
CAPITAL PRIZE. $4,000.
lOO, 900 Tickets at Five Dollars Each
Fractions, i'm Fffths i'm proposition.
List OF Prizes

Application for rates to clubs should be made
only TO the ofie of re Company in New u
leans.
Fog further information write clearly, giving full
address. Send orders by Express, Registered let
ter or Money Order, addressed only to
NJ. A. DAUPHIN
New Orleans, l. =.
Or VI. A. DAUPHIN,
607 Seventh street. Washington, u.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-06-26

Louisiana State Lottery Company.

I'VE do hereby certify that We supervise the
sangements fol ali the monthly and semi-annual
drawings Of the I"nisi~ns State Lottery companV
.-l- i'S4I.a s..s, S0;.; 90.
themselves, and that the SAME conducted with
aCnesty, fairness, ard in good faith toward all par
lies, anu authorize the company use this GER
titcate, with fac-snIes Of ouI signatures attached
M its advertisements"
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-06-26
DR.. w HITTER.

Treats all forms of Veneral Diseases, Semi.
nal Emissions and Sexual Debility, with
unparalleled :. ccess. No m:;rer who failed.
call or write lmphle. OF consultation free
Can refer to the medical professioa in Il
carts Of the Countu,
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-06-26
Azzazazzu@<9
II <<e<<

incorporated in 1858 for g years by the Le2sla-
ture for Educational and Charitable purposes-with
a capital Of 81 ,OOO, 0OO-to which a reserve fund
of $3.50, oOO has since been added.
vas nso nsr, ing popular vote us iranenise
adopted December I'd. A. d. 1879
The onIy Lottery ever voted ON AMI endorsed by
the people Of any state.
Ii never scales or postp PONIES.
It's Grand Single Number Drawings
take place monthly.
SPLENDID OPPORTUNITY TO
WIN FORTUNE. SEVENTH GRAN .
DRAWING, CLASS q, At NEW ORLEAN Ms,
TUESDAY, July 10, lSS3--l5Sth Monthly
Drawing
Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1883-05-17
SWEETBRIER.

A ranch of sweetbrier-Ah, my heart!
I he tender tears unbiddcn start
To weary, world-worn eyes;
| kiss the faded, fragrant spray,
And memoirs of bygone day
Before my vision rise.
How often my st darling wore
The sweetbrier green She loved II more
Than many-tinted bloom;
II ofcn g'aced her maiden breast;
n W, planted where she lies at rest,
II beauties her tomb.
Ny little love In days of old.
Youths morning hour Of rose and gold
Comes back to me tonight;
! see her In her girlish grace,
The sunny sweetness OF her face,
Her childish robe ofwhite.
! smell the sweCtbric in her hand,
| see the garden where we stand
On England 5 southern shore:
! hear the ripping strcamlct fall,
| hear the aughter musical,
Now silencrd evermorc.
She was too frail for carth's employ,
Too calm and pure for human Joy:
But, like the sw, etbrier green,
The memory OF her gentle life
Makes sweet the years Of worldly ttrifc
That lie our lives between.
--NeW Orleans Times.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1883-05-17

t'.s' tHaut .ll#
.D.n. ~, yg1ught only about -
r.lts as early a. lHFl in ono rcSpeC.
/ II wun'l have been buuor had that
course been parsuGd, for then the pub
lie would nave seen irs' what the pa
triotic bondholders were willing to
give for their bonds in order to "save
the country But to have tried to
carry on the war upon a gold basis
would have been like trying to bail all
the water out OF the Atlantic Ocean with
a teaspoon. 1t would have been an alb
Surdlty. There was not gold enough
in the country to have carried on the
war ninety days. 1t proved true to its
cowardly characteristics and fled at
the sound of tho first cannon.
1t is not true, as an investigation of
the matter will show, that cOmmod-
ties appreciated in the same proper
lion that grccnbackS deprecated. In
other words, it is not true that gold
proved to be an unvarying medium of
exchange, Whereas greenbacks and
commodities did not vary more than
ID degrees, gold was constantly nucta-
ting and varied more than 30 degrees
from the general line of commodities.
Again The Witness would convey
TIE idea that soldiers get enough more
greenbacks to make up for their de.
probation as compared with coin. Is
it possible that The Witness has forgot
ten that a million soldiers enlisted up
on coin basis, but that after being
sworn in when they could not get away,
the contract was arbitrarily changed
by the government to greenback
basis! A man who had horse to sell
could and did raise the price enough to
cover the depreciation of grecnbacks,
but the old soldier was in the ranks
and there was no escape; he could not
raise his wages. 1t would take nearly
one thousand million dollars TO make
good to the old soldiers the amount
which they were beaten out of by the
change of contract. The government
should have made the amount good in
stead of passing the public robbery
act of 1869 agreeing to pay coin in
stead of greenbacks to the bondholdcrs.
at is always to be remembered also
that but for the money advanced to
the United States on bonds the soldiers
could neither have been paid nor fed,
nor could the union have been pre-
served; and il the soldiers had kept
their greenbacks or invested them in
national bonds they would have got
rs much now for them as the bond
holders"
The bondholders, then, saved the
nion!
Pharaoh was the emancipation of the
Israelites!
Judas Iscariot was the most faithful
of the dicirles!
Benedict Arnold was a patriot!
All through those terribly dark and
gloomy days of the war up to July l,
1868. these patriotic bondholders had
invested only about $500, 1000. .00o-and
this they had done because they could
get them at discount (through the
process of selling gold for greenbacks).
After July l, 1868, when gold ranged
above 200, they invested quite literally
--theirinvestments amounting to about
81 800, 100000. This $l,50O, 100000,
Notwithstanding the fact that Gettys-
burg and Vicksburg had practically
decided the war. they got for less than
so cents on the dollar
When the knife was at the throat Of
Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1883-05-17

The San Francisco Post, for some
unknown reason, is out of patience with
its rural neighbors, as the following
paragraph from its columns shows: "a
Canada man has discovered q process
to preserve crops from frost. If he
will extend his scheme so as to get rid
of insect pests, make rain come just
when the farmers want it, graduate the
fall 10 the last drop, utilize slickens,
stop tho north winds, fix the prices of
freights and grainsacks in accordance
with the ideas of the farmer, abolish
interest, taxes and merchants profits
and make chrome grow in every front
yard, he can come out here and the
farmers will rise up and call him
blessed--and the blessing will be all the
pay he will get for his trouble"
Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1883-05-17

TIE San Francisco Post is responsible
for the story that during the latter part
of the war David Davis was challenged
to fight duel by iirc.eating southern
ex-member of congress. The former,
it is added, very properly declined,
because his antagonist refused to per-
nit him 10 stand three.ffths behind a
stone wall.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1883-05-17

AN old Indian fighter says there is n
peculiar condition of Arizona atmos-
phere which makes an Indian behind a
rock with n Winchester rifle look like
seven Indians--a double-barrelled re-
peating Indian. rs il wore.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1883-05-17

THE wonderfully rapid development
of Australia is well illustrated by the
announcement of the death OF the old
est white native of the country-a
woman 95 years of age, who was the
first white child born in the colony.
At the time of her birth, the total white
population of the island continent was
1000; on the day of her death-it ex-
ceeded 5000. 900.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1883-05-17

The largest piece of granite claimed
to have been quarricd since the time
of solomon was lately exhumed at
Thomaston, Me. 1t measured sixty
feet in length and seven feet square at
the base. Its weight was estimated at
150 tons.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1883-05-17

JOHNSON G. WHITAKER, the colored
cadet, who acquired notoriety three
years ago in connection with charge
OF having mutilated his ears while at
West Point, is now filling a professors
chair in the Avery Institute, at Charles
ton, S. c.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1883-05-17

The dog tax nets the United States
government about Sl6,0CO,0OO per
annum, and the commissioner of agri-
culture says it costs S50,OOO,OOO per
annum to feed them.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1883-05-17

In the Northern Pacific swims fish
which explorers of the northwest coast
call the ortolan of the sea. 1t is the
latest of all fish, and if a dried speci-
men be taken, all that has to be done is
to light the head of the fish, holding it
upright, and it blazes away like a sperm
candle, giving light without smoke or
smell. The Indians call it the Oola-
chan.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1883-05-17

The bridegroom at his wedding
breakfast is thus photographed by the
Saturday Review; "No man remembers
much about his own wedding breakfast.
He sits self-conscious, in glittering
raiment and tight new boots, observed
by curious bridesmaids, in the midst of
hostile p, ople. Surely a mans brides
relations are even now hostile people.
They are strange, they are critical;
their words and ways CRATE on the
nerves of the doomed one. Among
many other relics of the savage period
speeches are made"
Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1883-05-17

To introduce these Elegant and Fashionable
Decorations, the handsomest goods in Amer
lea, we will send this lot by mail for 10 Cents,
silver or stamps, One Japanese Napkin (ele-
CANT design, ; colors), One japanese Tidy
(tloral design, colors), One Japanese Gossa-
mer Handkerchief Qace design, and Three
Artistic Chromos.
Address Japanese Novelty Co, Buffalo, N. Y.