The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1883-04-11
HIS PA AND DYNAMITE.

he came In the store with his eye wink
ers sipRed off, and powder marks on his
face. and began to play on the harmon
lea, as he sat down on the end Of a stick
of stove wood, and balanced himself.
20, guess not. He has hedged. He
got in with a deacon OF another church
and sold some OF his stock to him, and
pa says IL l will keep my condemned
mouth shut he will unload all of it, If
the churches hold it. He goes to church
every night where there is prayer meet
Ing or anything, and makes ma go with
him to give him tone, and after meet
ing she talks with the sisters about how
to piece a silk bed quilt, while pa gets
In his work selling stock. l don't know
but he will order some more stock from
the factory IL he sells all he has got"
and the boy went on playing There's a
land that is fairer than day"
But what was he skipping up street
for the other night with his hat of, grab
bing at his coat tails as though they
were ON fireP l thought 1 never saw a
pussy man run faster. And what was
the celebration down on your street at
that timer thought the world was
coming to an end" and the GrOceryman
kept away from the boy for fear he
wOnld explode.
"Oh, that was only Fenian scare.
NOthin' serious. You see pa is sort of
half Englishman. He claims to be an
American citizen when he wants office,
but when they talk about draft, he says
he Is a subject of Great Britain, and he
says they can't touch him. Pa Ia darn
smart man, and don't you forget IT..
There don't any of them get ahead of pa
much. Well, pa has said q good deal
about the wicked Fenians, and that they
ought to be pulled, and all that, and
when read the papers about the explO-
sion in the British Parliament, pa was
hot. He said. the damnirish was run
ming the whole world. He didn't dare
say 1t at the table, or our hired girl
would have knocked him silly with. q
spoonful of mashed potatoes, cause she
Is a niTish girl, and can lick any Eng
lishman in this town. Pa said there
ought to have been somebody there to
have taken that boom up and thrown 1t
In the sewer before it exploded. He said
Ii he ever should see bomb he would
grab 1t right up and throw 1t away
where 1t wouldn't hurt anybody. Pa
has me read the papers to him every
night, cause his eyes has got splinters
In them, and after | had read all there
was in the paper, made up lot more
and pretended to read 1t, about how 1t
was rumOred that the fenians were in
Milwaukee were going to place dyna-
mite bombs in every house where an
Englishman lived, and at "a given signal
blow them all up. Pa looked pale around
the gills but said he wasn't scared. Pa
and ma were going to call on she deR-
con that night that has lots of money
in the bank, to zee If she didn't want to
invest in a dead sure paying silver mine
and me and nv chum concluded to give
them sendOff. We got my big black
injy rubber football and painted "Diny-
might" in big white letters on 1t, and
tied piece of tarTed rope to 1t for
fuse, and got big fire cracker, one of
those old fourth of July horse scarers,
and basket full of broken glass. We
put the foot ball in front OF the step and
lit the tarred rope and got under the
step with the firecrackers and basket,
where they got down into the basement.
Pa and ma came down the front steps
out the front door, and pa saw the foot
ball and burning fuse, and said: Great
God, Hammer, we are blOwed up and he
started to run; and ma stopped to look
at it. Just as pa started to run touch
ed off the fire cracker and my chum ar
ranged to pour out the broken glass on
the pavement Just as the firecracker
went off. Well, everything went off as
we expected except ma. She had eX-
amined the football and concluded 1t
was not dangerous, and was Just giving
1t kick as the fiTecracker went off, and
the glass fell, and the firecracker was so
near it scared her, and when pa looked
around ma was flying across the side
walk, and pa heard the. noise and
thought the house was blown to atoms.
o you'd died to see him go around the
corner. You could play crOkay on his
coat tail, and his face was as pale as
mas when she goes to party. But ma
didn't scare much. As quick as she
stopped against the hitching post she
knew 1t was us boys, and she came down
there, aud maybe she didn't maui me. |
cried and tried to gain her sympathy by
telling her the irecracker went off be-
fore it was due, and burned my eye
broWs off, but she didn't let up until
promised to go and find pa. tell you,
my ma ought to be engaged by the Brit
ish government to hunt out the dyna-
mite fiends She would corral them in
two minutes. If pa had as much sand
as ma 1t would be warm weather for me.
Well, me and my chum5went and head
ed pa OF OF guess he would be running
yet. We got him up by the lake shore,
and he wanted to know If the house fell
down. He said he would leave 1t to me
IL he ever said anything against the fe-
mans, and told him he always claimed
the fenians were the incest people in
the world, and 1t seemed to relieve him
very. much. When he got home and
found the house there he was tickled,
and when ma called him an old bald
headed coward, and said 1t was only q
Joke of the boys with a football, he
laughed right out, and said he knew it
all the time, and he ran to see IL ma
would be scared. And he wanted to hug
me, but it wasn't my night to hug, and
went to the theater. Pa dOu't amount
to much when there is trouble. The
time ma had the cramps. you remem-
ber, when you got your cucumbers first
last season, pa came near fainting
away, and ma said ever since they had
been married when anything allied her,
pa has had pains just the same as she
has, only he grunted more, and always
thought he was going to die. Gosh, IL
/ was man 1 wouldn't be sick every
time one Of the neighbOr's had a back
ache, would you uP"-Peck's Sun.