The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-27
HUMOR.

WHY is poverty like 81, 100000? It's
around some "a round sum-.
A SOUND education can only be OBJ
tanned from o music-teacher.
A FERRY-BoAT is like "good rule"
because it works both ways.
A GOOD deal of comment has been
bestowed upon Red Cloud and his gold
mine. If the darkest cloud may have
silver lining, why shouldt Red
Cloud have a gold one?- Boston
Transcript.
"WoMAN's DOMINION seems to worry
some controversationalist greatly. The
thing seems simple enough. A womanis
dough minion is evidently the new cook
on baking day.
BRIGHAM YoUNG's grave is utterly
neglected, and his widows never visit
it. They went there once to cry over
his remains, but it made the ground
so sloppy that they all caught cod.
A RECENT writer declares that "the
real surse of this country is not whisky
or politics, but dyspepsia" Wonder
what kind of liver regulator he has
for sale.-Cheek.
The fashionable style of building in
New York is the bachelor fiat. The
elevators in these establishments are
worked by cork screws.--BattiDlOr
american.
A GENTLEMAN who had lost his wife,
whose maiden name was Little, adj
dressed the following to Miss Moore,
lady of diminutive stature:
I've lost the Little once had;
NV heart Is sad and sore;
So now / should be very glad
To have little Moore.
ITO which the lady sent the following
answer.
pity much the loss you've had
The grief you mos, endure;
heart by Little made 20 sad
little Moore won't cure.
boston Globe.
Il THINK it perfectly disgracefui!"
exclaimed Mrs. Fogg. "Flandersons
wife has been dead just six weeks, and
he's going to be married next Sunday.
Only think !" 81 don't see anything to
make a fuss about grunted Fogg;
she couldn't very we'll have married
again before his first wife died. To be
sure, he's lost six weeks of happiness,
but 1 don't see anything disgraceful
about that. - Boston Transcript
DID it ever occur to you, when you
were cropping around your room In the
dark and struck you nose so violently
against half-open door that it Jared
! the whole house-did it ever occur to
you at that moment that the heat of the
sun is sufficient to reduce the Pacific
| Ocean to steam in twenty minutes?
The probabilities are that it didn't
NOTTiStOlCn Herald.
THE PRosY PREACHERS PoST-PRANDIAL.
On a Sunday layman benign
With prosy old bishop did dine;
So rich was the food,
And 30 awfully good,
That he doZed after drinking the vine.
Sound he slumbcr'd until the good man
Woke him up with a half-muItered ban;
Now must 20 and pr ach,
And you be-e Oh
To attend me TO church, if you can"
Then the layman arose with lurCh,
And he said, sinking back TO his perch:
Exec Sc me, your Grace,
But here, in thi place,
can SIC y just we as in church
-NeU York ADVERTISER.
FROM flowers fair beyond compare.
Rise odors which, so rich and rare,
| Are strong enough to choke us;
While from the bank, 80 soft and dank,
! Wherein the moss grows rich and rank,
Laps fourth the earty croak cuss
-Ne,C York .4dUerttSer.
"PvE bin down to York on bizness,"
he was explaining to fellow-passenger
on an Erie train, land I'm greatly dis
appinted. "How?" Wall de hull
kentry has allus bin talkin' about how
much mony is made and lost in Wall
street, and l thought I'd go down and
try 'em pull or two" and you
lost?" "No, L didn't lose or gain. L
went into dozen places and asked 'em
to trot out their game, and do you
know that didn't even get the chance
to win or lose ten cents on wheel of
fortune! kinder spec Wall street is
q humbug."
AT wAUKEGAN.
Where do You go, my pretty maid?-
The insinuating umme said.
I'm going all the way, 81. d she,
! To my humble home III kankakee!"
Then, after waiting little while
May ask, sir, where do YOU go?'
AMI the drummer answered WITH a smile,
TO my lordly home at Kokomol"
Then outright spoke the conductor bold
There's some mistake be tween you two,
II you re 90 ny home, you've missed your hold.
For this train goes to kalamazoo
! ~Oh, what shall do Z" the maiden cried.
| They'll think I'm dead, my ma and pal"
Too tadl" the startled drummer sighed;
Come to my FIR ends in Waukeshal'
| And she smiled and blnshed and quite forgot
That he was but a stranger man,
| And the blunder altered her whole lot,
For they got married at Maukegan.
-ITaceLer'S M100ziHe.