National Republican., 1883-07-30

Blu! tell me, sir, what shall l do
When that thing goes lick, tickr"
THE new colored cadet at West Point Is
quite popular with his classmates. He weighs
nearly two hundred and is a shoulder hitter from
some distance back
THE Discussion Of q Family Scandal" was
the subject advertised by a San Francisco clergy
man. The house was crowded, and he talked
about Adam and Eve, the clerical brute
DIRECTORY publisher at Rome, Ga, got
his list mixed up and published all the minis
ters Of the city under the head of "barkeepers."
II is hard to determine who are the maddest the
ministers or the barkeepers.
WESTERN editor notes that Tallac, n
summer resort, lis getting very toney-a lady
who does not change her attire three times daily
Is not regarded as correct" The western editors
scorniul comment is: "Must be mighty dirty"
IN u trial before Livingston (Dakota)
justice, in which man was charged with swlnd-
ling another at cards. the court played game with
gambler present and demonstrated that 1t was
possible for man TO have high, low, and jack and
take game,
The man who asks ARE you going away
this summer" accidentally met the man who
says, as this hot enough for you? Each idiot
thought he was guyed by the other, and they had
1t hot and heavy until the policeman came out Of
the beer saloon, where he rests, and parted the
bellgerents.-Nelo Orleans Picdyune.
MOUNT McGREeoR, Saratogas mountain,
is becoming as popular with bridal parties as Nj
agara falls There were twenty-five couples
the mountain one day last week. As soon as one
couple comes down, Mr.. McGregor, who owns the
mountain, shouts next" and another couple
goes up
MISS Lillian RUSSELL in "Paul and Vir-
ginia' at the Gaiety theater, London, has not
achieved very brilliant success. The opinion
expressed is that she is good looking and has
fair voice, but that she lacks grace and distinction
Of person. When she first appeared OH the stage
she was hissed by portion of the audience.
IT is all very fine for American sharpshoot-
GERS TO 30 to England lay down British grass,
make rifle rest of their legs, sight through tel
escope aud astonish the world hitting the John
Bulls eye. What is wanted is an American marks
man who can stay AT home and hit u mad dog in
the street one time in possible one hundred.
JENNIE JUNE says: "If the women would
only dress more simply theme might be tempted
to get themselves up more picturesquely in knee
breeches, slashed doubets, and SUCH" Is that so.
Jennie? And say suppose we men would dress
more simply, would the women be tempted to
get themselves up in slashed doublets, and-and-
such?
The gentlemen who met in anti-monopoly
convention at Chicago were not pleasing to Denis
Kearney, who is himself monopolist In black
guard talk. Denis says Of them: "They were
lot offree trade, free-rum freelove, God forsaken,
hatched-faced cranks and proft-mongering
dudes, which knew as much about the labor
question as hen does about heaven"
COLE, the circus man, proposes to introduce
new and startling feature next year. A cage
containing dozen herce, bloadthrsty mice will
be wheeled into the ring, and right before the
eyes of the astonshed audience a woman will
enter the cage and walk calmly about among the
carniverous beasts. The only difficulty he fears
will be in finding woman with iron nerve
enough to carry her through the tenting season.
MADAME HURTRELLE, lady of position
in Paris, has been arrested for drunkenness. In
defense she stated that she read that the surest
way of preserving furs from the ravages of moths
was to stow them away in an empty spirit cask'
She accordingly purchased one and conflded to 1t
her cloak. The weather being chilly, she re-
qured the garment, and the alcoholic fumes pro-
duced intoxlcation. She was acquitted.
He was hurrying along Center street the
other morning. when boy about his own age
stopped him and called out, 'Struck it2" "Yes."
"WhatT "Golng to sweep out an Office for a
| feller" "Whop Dunno" "How much?"
"Can't tell" ''why?" "Cause If he's lawyer,
he'll give me ten cents and predict that I'll be
president some day; but If he's broker he'll flip
me half dollar and not care two cents whether
| bring up in Washington or Halifax! s. long i
WdH Street NeOs.
| AN invention of interest togreat telegra-
pliers and railway men generally has been patented
| by George NJ Bedinger, of Erlanger, Ky. 1t Is
an electric signaling apparatus for telegraphing
between trains and stations, thus keeping all
trains in direct communication with the train dis
patcher and with one another. The invention con-
sist of jointed conductor, which breaks connec-
ons by pressure, the current being carried
| through the car by means of brushes. Each
| train carries its own operator and instruments.
The invention can also be used to advantage in
| connection with a block signal.
THE Sumter (Ga.) Republican tells of BASH
ful youth who fell in love with damsel and after
counting her by proxy made preparations to
marry. The day was fixed and the guests assem-
bled. The parson was on hand and the bride
ready. but the groom did not materialize. The
friend who had done the courting went out, and
after looking around found him sitting or lying in
a horse trough. On asking him why he did not
go to the house to be married he said "0h.
can't go thar and stand before them folks" "Oh,
yes, you can everybody in there is married but
your girl. Come on" "Get her to come out
doors and wen marry under the shed, but let the
old folks stay in the house" The friend went
back, got the girl and the parson out without ex-
citing suspicion, and they were married. The
company waited two or three hours. and on being
invited to supper were introduced 10 the bride an
groom. They became SO indignant tR&t all left
without partaking Of the supper.
THE Duchess of ossuna, who Is mentioned
in Paris letters the of the breach between
the king and queen of Spain, is the Princess Salm-
Sam, who figured for O time 40 prominently in
Nashville while Gen. Rousseau was in command
there. A war correspondent who knew the
princess told Gath" that "she was about 25 then
and one of the most beautiful women ever saw.
She was vory tall, graceful. and daring rider on
horseback She was as reckless of reputation as
of life in those days. saim-Salm was q poor
spirited sort of husband but very good soldier.
The princess followed Maximilian-to whom her
husband, as the son Of the prince Of salm- Braun
fels was distantly reated--to Mexico, and was
with him as nurse confdant and cheramie dur.
ing the siege of Queretaro where the bogus en-
peror was captured, and remained at his bedside
during his captivity and illness till he was shot.
She and her husband, / believe, accompanied his
remains to Austria. and 1t was Immediately after
. this that the prince died and the gay widow mar
ried the late Duke of ossuna."
AN American gentleman Of means, living
in Brooklyn. five years ago employed German
lady of education to instruct and care for his
motherless children. This lady represented her
self to be widow and showed the various d.
plomas gained by her deceased husband, who, she
said, was physician The gentleman proposed