The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1883-02-03
HIS PA FIGHTS HORNETS.

go away from here nOw," said the
grOceryman to the bad boy, as he came
into the store and was going to draw
some cider ont of a barrel into a pint
measure with flies in it, "Get right out
of this place, and don't let me see you
arOand here until the health officer says
your father has got over the small pOx.
i saw him this morning and his face is
all covered with pustules, and they will
have him in the pest-hOuse before night.
You git" and he picked up a butter try
er and went for the boy, who took ref
uge behind a barrel of onions and held
up his hands as though Jesse James had
drawn bead on him.
'Oh, you go and chase yourself. That
Is not small pOx pa has got. He had a
fight with nest OF hornets" said the
boy.
"Hornetsl Well, I'll be cussed," re-
marked the grOceryman, as he put up
the butter fryer, and handed him a slice
of rotten muskmellOn. How in the
world did he get into nest of hornets? !?
l hope you didn't have anything to do
with it,"
The boy buried his face in the melon,
until he looked as though yallOW cash
had been cut from his mouth to his ears
and after swallowing The melon, said !:
well, pa says l was responsible; that
settles it, and l can go my way and he
will go his. He says he was willing to
overlook everything had done to make
his life unbearable, but steering him
into a nest of hornets and getting drunk
is too much, and can CO."
What, you haven't been drunk" says
the grocery man. "Great heavens, that
will kill your poor old father"
20, guess 1t won't kill him very
much. He has been getting drunk for
twenty years, and says he is healthier to-
day than he ever was since his liver got
to working again. You see Monday was
a regular Indian summer day, and pa
said he would take me and my chum to
the woods to get hickory nuts, if we
would be good. l said l would and my
chum said he would, and we got cOu-
pie bags and went out to WauWatOsO, in
the woods. We clubbed the trees and
got more nuts than anybody, and had a
lunch, and pa was enjoying his walk
Arst rate. While pa was taking nap
under a tree my chum and me looked
around and found hornets nest on the
lower limb of a tree we were sitting
under, and my chum said 1T would be a
good joke to run pole into the hornets
nest and then run. Honest, / did not
think about pa being under the tree,
and l went into a field and got a pole
and put the small end in the nest, and
gouged the nest a couple times and then
the boss hornet came out of the hole and
looked sassy, and then looked back into
the hole and whistled to the other hOr-
nets to come out and have circus, and
they came out, my chum and me ran
and climbed over a fences and got behind
a pile of hoop poles. l guess the hornets
saw my pa as soon as they got out, be-
cause pretty soon we heard pa call to
Helen Blases,' or some woman we didn't
know, and then he took his coat he had
been using as a pillow, and whipped
around and slapped himself on the
shoulders, and took the lunch basket and
pounded around like he was crazy, and
bime by started out on run towards
town, holding his pants up, cause his
suspenders were hanging down, and
never saw fat man run so and fan his
self with basket. We could hear him
yell Come on, boys; hell Is out for
noon, and he went over hill, and we
didn't see him any more. We waited
till near dark because we were afraid to
go after the nuts till the hornets had
gone to bed, and then we came home.
The bags were awful heavy, and l think
1t was real mean in pa to go off and not
help carry the bags"
81 swan, says the grocery man. You
are too mean to live. But what about
your getting drunkp"
Il a
bottle of liver medicine in his coat DOck.
ct, and when he was whipping his hOr-
nets the bottle dropped out and picked
itup to carry home to him. My chum wan
ted to smell of the liver medicine, SO he
took out the cork, and it smelt lust like
in front Of liquor store on East Water
street, and my chum said his liver was
bad too, and he took a swaller, and he
should think it was enough to cut a fell
lnN "a M m al hFnf
then had a peculiar feeling In my liY
er. and my chum said he felt better af-
ter he took swaller, and 80 l took a
sWaller, and IL was the aWfullest liver
remedy j ever tasted. 1t scOrched nv
throat like the diptheria, but it beats
diptherla, OF sore throat all to pieces,
and my chnm and / LATED, we was SO
licked. Did you ever take liver medi-
cinep You know how 1t makes you feel:
as il your liver had got on top of your
lights, and like you wanted to jump and
holler. Well, sir, honest, that liver
medicine made me dance a Jig on the
the Yladuct bridge, and an old soldier
came along and asked US what was the
matter, and we told him about our liver
medicine, and showed him the bottle,
and he s'pOsed he had the worst liver i'm
the world, and said the doctors at the
Home couldn't cure him. It's. mean
boy that won't help an old veteran cure
his liver, so L told him to try pas liver
remedy, and he took regular COW swal-
Ter, and said, Here's your liver bOys'
He must have liver bigger nor a cows,
and guess it is better now. Then my
liver began to feel Gurus again, and my
chum said his liver was getting torpid
some more, and we both took another
dose and started home. and we got gen
erous and gave our nuts away 10 some
boys. Say, does liver medicine make a