Sacramento daily record-union., 1883-09-14

Choose those companions who administer
to your improvement.
The man who sits down on the road to
success and waits for free ride is sure to
be LETT.
1t is one of the curiosities of natural his
tory that horse enjoys his food most
when he hasn't bit in his mouth.
1t takes but thirteen minutes to lead an
elephant on a train, while it takes twenty
for any sort OF a woman to kiss her
friends good by and lose the check for her
trunk.
1t is asserted that chopping off a dogs
tail will seriously impair his eye-sight.
Some folks may believe it, but you can't
tslk that nonsense to chap who has been
sighted in a melon patch by bob-tailed
dog forty rods away.
If the Medical Press is to be credited
Professor Schuethauer. of Pesth, in max
ing a post-mortem examination of WON
an of about 70 years of age, discovered
that the spleen was not only absent, but
had never existed III the person of the sub
ject.
a Philadelphia girl complains that sh'
got into such a chill while out sleighinI
last winter that she has been in poo
health ever since. Experience teaches 1
dear school. Next time she will know
enough not to go sIeighridiDg with her Owl
brother.
81 detest slang phrases. said an ole
lady TO the pastor, especially when useC
by women. Why, the other day l heard
girl say that she had firted with fellow
and made mash. She thought I didn'
know what she meant, but l tumbled t.
it, all the same.
" Pa, did you hear that report that go
cut last night!'' "What report, my son !:
, " The report of a pistol" The old mar
was arrested for chasing the boy with a
hatchet, but was discharged when thu
facts were made known, with the advice
TO kill him next time.
James Franklin's old printing press, a
which his brother Benjamin worked as al
apprentice, is on exhibition at the Ok
South Church, Boston 1t is now the prop
| erty OF the Massachusetts, Charitable Me
chsnical Association, to which it wai
presented by John J. Murray some years
since.
Some paper used for covering small arti
cles of elegance by shopkeepers on the
continent of Europe, and especially in the
West End of London, closely resemble:
satin. Ordinary paper covered with as
bestos powder dyed to any desirable shadt
and properly fixed on with weak gum
gives the satin effect.
Some clever young ladies have invented
a new plan for securing husbands. They
90 out boating with the man of theil
choice, contrive to upset the boat, and
then grab him and save his life. The vic.
tim, in the frat burst of gratitude and ad.
miration, generally makes the desired pro-
posal to his heroic protector.
Upon reaching Newport. the Princess
Louise found that the hotel accommoda-
tions were not sufficiently stylish to suit a
daughter of Englsnd's Qaeen, bnt the
landlords all say that if she had given
them two days notice they would have
painted British flag On the back of every
cockroach, which would have saved the
situation.
When child begins to read it becomes
delighted with q newspaper, because il
reads of names and things which are famil,
lar, and it will progress accordingly. a
newspaper, in one year, is worth a quar-.
ter's schooling to child. Every father
must consider that information is connected
with advancement. The mother of fam
lily, being one of it's heads, and having a
more immediate charge of children, should
herself be instructed. A mind occupied
becomes fortified against the ills of life
and is braced for any emergency. Chill
dren amused by reading or study are Of
course more considerate and more easily
managed.
a rapid penman can write thirty words
10 minute. To do this he must draw his
pen through the space of rod, sixteen
and a half feet. In forty minutes his pen
travels a furlong. We make, on an aver.
age, sixteen curves or turns of the pen in
writing each word. Writing thirty words
in a minute we must make 4S0 turns to
each minute in an hour rs 900, in a day
of only five hours IA 600, in year OF
300 such days, 43, 100000. The man,
therefore, who made 1000, 900 strokes
with his pen was not at all remarkable.
Many men-newspsper writers, for in
stance-make 100000. Here we have,
in the aggregate, mark 300 miles long to
be traced on paper by such writer in a
year.