Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1883-10-04
THE spoopENDYkEs'
Desperate Struggle with Car win-
dow.

don't you think it is awful warm here p
"Open the window, then ~ suggested
Mr.. spoopendyke, plunging deeper into
his paper and settling himself comfort
ably.
Mrs. Spoopendyke gave few faint
tugs at it, and then relinquished the job.
"Feel better, now 2" asked Mr.. spoop-
endyke, without looking up. "Does the
pure air appear to have any-hellol Why
don't you pull up the window ~
II can't, Responded Mrs. spoopendyke,
with another effort. "see, it's stuckl'
"Press your thumb on the catch, and
then raise the SASH" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. "Giye it hard jerk, that'n
loosen it.n
Mrs. Spoopendyke followed instruc-
tions, split her glove, knocked the skin
off her knuckle, and then set down in
high state of perturbation.
"That the best you can do2" de-
manded Mr.. spoopendyke, springing to
his feet and going for the window.
'sNow, you watch me do this, aud an
other time you'll know how"
He gave the window wrench, but it
firmly resisted.
"Won't, Ell r' he growled, hammering
the sash with his fist and pulling again.
scot some kind of a notion that this is
the Fourth of July, and the right season
Of the year to manifest independence,
haven't yea Come upr' and his finger
slipped off the lock, leaving a
piece of the bark behind. "Oh,
ho |" he roared. "Bite, do yea P'raps
ye think some dod gasted woman, with
wax thumb, is working this hoistl It
amt, tell ye, nor it amt any infant
with its measly hands clasped in prayer
This is Spoopendyke who is engineering
this particular lift, and ye're going
through the top Of the CARP
With this exordium Mr.. Spoopendyke
planted his hat firmly on his head and
tugged at the window until his face
looked like the danger side of switch
target.
"Never mind, my dear, " pleaded Mrs.
spoopendyke, watching the proceedings
with considerable apprehension. sit
isn't as warm as it was, and don't care
about having it up"
" 1t amt, ehl" howled Mr.. spoopen-
dyke, bracing himself for another attack.
81 s'pose you've got some kind of an
idea that this is a sort of refrigerating
process I am going through! May be
you think this process is calculated to
precipitate an early frost and ruin the
peach crop! Let go your dod gasted
hold on the side Of this measly palace
coach, and give the free air of nature a
chancer' he continued, apostrophizing
the window, and then settling down to
steady endeavor, he hung to the window
like mashed fly.
perhaps it is stuck at the top" sug-
gested Mrs. Spoopendyke, who, like most
women, regarded feminine advice as equal
in all respects to masculine muscle.
!" No doubt of itn squealed Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, turning suddenly on her. "Some-
body has been here and screwed it fast to
the roof P'raps he's up there yet, hold
ing on to it, but if he is, he'll think a
steam jack machine is working under
meath him Look out up there, she's
comingl Brace yourself for your flight
to the spheres, for spoopendyke has got
a grip on now that'll last till something
gives wayn and the worthy gentleman
took hold once more and toiled, while
his wife lodged suspender buttons and
back strap buckles.
~ think saw it move" she remarked,
encouragingly.
"Did, did ye |" howled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, whose hands were numbed by his
exertions. "Did ye notice which way it
went9 What'd ye do to the measly thing
when you tried it7" he demanded, new
idea occurring to him. "Don't We know
ye broke it when you were fooling
around here2 Come up, will yea Oh,
linger not, but come, oh, come, come up,
come up with mer' and throwing him
self into his job with despairing on
slaught, Mr.. Spoopendyke missed his
hold, fell over backward into his seat,
where he sat looking at his distressed
wife, the picture of baffied energy.
"That what ye wanteda'' he hissed
between his teeth. "Have ye accom-
plished your dod gasted designf Got
any more chores ye want done before
they begin to measure me for shroudl"
"Don't bother about it, dear" purred
Mrs. spoopendyke, patting his hand
tenderly. "Td rather have it shut than
open, for it isn't half SO warm as l
thought it was"
Then what'd ye want to make such a
fuss about2" howled Mr.. spoopendyke,
still writhing under the sting Of defeat.
eff you're cool enough, what'd ye hoist
me up there like hired man for2 Oh,
you're cool enoughl If l had your tenn
perature, I'd fit myself up with band Of
music and barroom, and hire myself
out for summer resortl'
"I don't care" soliloquized Mrs.
spoopendyke, as brakeman stepped up
and opened the window with little
jerk "My husband may not be very
strong, but he's willing. And the next