The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-05-22
Selse and Nupse,tse.

s The coinage OF the whole world las.
year. was S237, ,094.207.
SPECTATORS who get squeezed in o
pork deal naturally, equeal.
Nobody wishes the baby stolen, but il
lis relief when the nurse cribs it at
night.
Musicians are in the habit of sluring
some notes; but they all speak we'll Of
greenbacks.
Joseph Thompson, OF Simmons Gap,
Georgia, has had nine wives and fifty
three children. !.
A young lady at bsll called her
partner an Indian, because be was on
her trail all the.time.
"Put more tariff on English fashions !"
cries Massachusetts editor afflicted
with dude of son.
The plaintiff in divorce suit in In
dians is widow OF thirty-four and the
defendant boy of eighteen.
1T, is the little bits ov things that fire.,
and worry u.s." says Josh Billings. "We
ken dodge. an elephant, but We kant g
fy."
Professor: "If you attempt to equeezp
any solid body, it will always resist pres.
sure" Class smile aud cite examples o,
exception.
Among the things taken by burglars
from an Illinois minister's house were q
box Of tobacco, six bottles OF whisky
and pistol.
Mrs. R)sanna Carter, Of N,tict, M,]s
Is probably the oldest person in New
England, having recently passed her
10Th birthday.
The California footprints, the Duke
OF Argyle thinks, are confederation oil
the Scriptural remark, "there were gi.
ants in those days"
An old man In ST Louis gets ten days
employment every year by appearing as
Santa Claus in the window OF a clothing
store, and puts in his remaining time as
a Juryman.
II is said that when man wants to
compliment New England woman he
must call her bright; but when he wish.
es to please S ,u.hern woman he must
say she is sweet.
Mistress TO new cook "Ol W ,dnes-
days and Saturdays will 60 to market
with you" New cook: Every well,
mum; but who's a-goin' to carry the
basket on other days2"
The first Chinaman who appeared in
Chihushua. M'xicp, was mi'taken for
an Apache by Mexican ranchero. who
rushed the Mongolian before the au-
thorities and claimed the reward.
Evangelist Moody, who has just re-
turned from abroad, SAYS there are now
fftv-,hree "coffee palaces" in Liverpool,
which have declared a dividend Of ten
per cent, anil have accumulated con-
siderable sinking fund beriles for the
establishment OF others.
Senator Fair says that be dislikes the
notoriety that his wife has obtained in
her divorce proceeding. and that he be-
ing the man, will try t, shield her. II
she thinks separation is the best, he will
agree to it, but he will prove his inno-
cence OF the grounds alleged.
"Hey! Rube!" is a circus mans slo-
gan, and is only used TO call all hands
to the rescue when the show or its at
taches are about to be attacked by a
mob and danger is imminent. At such
times axes, tent-stakes and shot guns are
liable to be used promiscuously.
Illinois is worrying over the ques
tion, "Who shall step into David Davis's
shoes ?" The next Senator may step
into Dayid's shoes, but by the great
American desert, he'd better keep out
OF the old mans trowsers if he wants
10 be found 10 time to draw any pay.
A comparison Of statistics shows New
York as the third German city in the
world, coming after Berlin and Vienna
Chicago. Philadelphia and St. Louis rank
close {, Frank ort, Hamburg and Dfes-
den. Boston Is the only large city in
the country where G ,rmans are not found
10. large numbers. N4.
A Michigan man. desiring to commit
suicide, fired at his head four times
without hitting it Then he concluded
that he had no head. aad wen. to hos.
pital to see about it Tue physicians
decided that his head vas in place, but
it's contents were wrong, and sent him
to an insane asylum.
A piece OF rose point lace a. the Lon.
don aquarium, six and three.q larter
yards long, is valued at $4,000. There
are ninety six sprays to each inch of the
fabric, and each spray cost two days
labor, showing that it required seven
years work of skilled workman to
complete the trife.
The extent of many Mexican estates
is almost beyond realization. The
boundaries Of one estate, on the centra
table lands in Mexico, extend over 100
miles north aad south. The mountains
ttaversing it abound With mineral wealth
and fine farms and extensive towns are
met with at frequent intervals.
"Aiter ALL" says the New York Morn.
ing Journal, "Freddie Gehbard is nc
fool. He is the Vanderbilt OF the run
ming turf, for he owns the fastest five
year-old in the country. Eole won for
him, last season, S26. 900 in purses, and
has started in down South by winning
already some 81 900 this year."
The Maryland peach prospect, as re-
ported to the Department of Agricul.
ture, is full average The trees were
in full bloom on the 26th of April, four.
teen days later than usual, thu, escap-
ing the injury from frosts incident to
the season The prospect for othel
fruits in Maryland is unusually good.
| or the stree, decosations at the )at'
review the London World says: "Th'
prize for originality must be awarded tt
a small batter in the King road, who
in a triumphal arch, inscribed the words
Welcome to the brave af old England
while Immediately beneath was the in
|, spiritipg command, Up, Guards. AM
, hat 'em.'
]. you can't add different things to
; gether," said school teacher. "If yo
add sheep and a COW together it doe
not make two sheep or two COWS"
llittle boy, the son OF milkman, held u
, his hand, and said {: "That may do wit
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