Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1883-02-05

lAC NuVA OpShf auN piSASN VI Sik"a
tub hat had been thrown Gown By
the stove, and began to smoke it.
"Shut that door, dunn you. Wa
you brought up in a saw MILF You'll
ire zs every potato in the house. No.
| haven't got vaseline. What do you
want with yaseline?' said the grocery
nan, as he set the syrup keg on a
chair By the. stove Whsre it would
thaw out.
Want to rub it on pas legs" SAID
the boy. IS he tried to draw smoke
through the cigar stub.
why, what is the matter with your
Da's legs2 Rhematiz?'
"Wuss nor rheumatic" said the
bOy, MS he threw away the cigar stub
and drew some cider 10 a broken tea
cup. "Pa has got the worst looking
hind legs you ever saw. You see,
since there has been so many fires pa
has got oful sc Ired, aBd be has bought
three FIRE escapes, made out of rope
with knots 10 them, and he has been
telling US every day how he could
rescue the whole family is case OF FIRE
ae told US to be cool, whatever
happened, aud to rely on him. If the
aouse got on fire we were all to rush
o pa, and he would save US. Well.
last night ma had to go to o of the
neIghDors, where they was going to
have twins, and we didn't sleep much,
cause una had to come twice in tbs
aight for saffron, and an old flannel
petticoat that | broke in when | was 3
Kid, cause the people where ma went
| did not know as twins was on the bill
| Of fare, and they only had flannel pet
ticoats for one. Pa was cross at being
Kept awake, and told me he hoped
when all the children in Milwaukee
we're born, ana got grown up, she
would aake in her sign, not 20 around
nights acting as usher 10 baby matt
aees. Pa says there ought to be a law
that babies should arrive on the regu-
lar day trains, and not wait for the
midnight express. Well, pa be got
asleep, and be slept till about eight in
the morning, and the blinds wer,
closed, and it was dark in his room.
and | had waited for my breakfast till
[ was hungry as a wolf, and the girl
told me to wake pa up, 50 !
went up stairs, and | don't know what
made me think OF it, but | had some
If this powder they make red fire with
n the theater. that me and my chum
had the Fourth OF July, and | put il
IN a wash dish in the bathroom,
and l touched it off and hollered fire.
| was going 10 wake up pa and then
FELL him it was all right, and laugh al
him. | guess there was too much fire,
or | yelled too loud, cause pa jumped
out Of bed and grabbed a rope aud
rushed through the hall toward the
back window, that goes out on a shed.
| tried to say something, but pa run
over me and told me to save myself,
and | got to the back window to tell
him there was no fire just as he lei
himself out Of the window. He had
one end Of the rope tied to the leg OF
the Washstaud, and he was climbing
down the back side Of the shed by
the kitchen, with nothing on but bis
night shirt, and he was the horriblest
looking object eyer was, with his leg
flying and trying to stick his toe nails
into the rope aud side of the house. |
don't think a mar looks we'll in society
With nothing on but a night shirt. /
didn't blame the hired girls for being
scared when they saw pa and his leg
come down outside the window, and
when they yelled | went down to the
kitchen and they said a crazy man with
no clothes but a pllowcase around bis
neck was trying to kick the window in,
and they run in the psrlOr, and | open
ed the door and lei pa in the kitchen.
He asked neil anybody else was saved,
aud then | told him there was no FIRE,
and he must have dreamed he was 10
hell or somewhere. Well, pa was as
toDished, and said he must be wrong
in the head, and | left him thaW:ne
himself by the stove while | went after
his pants, and his legs were badly
chilled, but | guess nothin' was floze.
He lays it all to ma, and says il she
would stay at home and let people run
their own baby shows, there would be
more comfort in the house. Ma came
in with a shawl over her head, and a
bowl full OF something that smelled
frowy, and after she had told us what
the result Of her visit was. she sent
me after yaseliue to rub pas legs. Pa
says he has demonstrated that if q
man is cool and collected, in case OF
FIRE, and goes deliberately at work t,
save himself, he will come out all
right
well. you are the meanest boy
ever beard Of said the grocery man
But what about vour pas dancing a
clog dance in church Sunday. The
minister's hired girl was in here after
some Goldfish yesterday morning, and
she said the minister said your pa had
seandalized the church the worst
way"
"Oh, he didn't dance in church. Fl,
was a little EXCITED. that's all. You
see, pa chews tobacco, and ii is pretty
hard on him to sit all through the ser
/ mon without taking a chew, and he
gets nervous. He always reache.
around in his pistol pocket
when they stand up to sing the
! last time, and feels in his Tobacco
| box and gets out Q chew, and puts /,
/ in bis mouth when the minister pro.
nounces the benediction, and then
, when they get out doors he is all ready
to spit. He always does that. Well
! my chum had a present on Christmas.
OF 3 music box, just about as big a.
pas tobacco box, and all you have "a
I do is to touch a spring and il plays.
! She's a Daisy, She's a Dumping
: | borrowed it and put it in pas pistol
pocket, where be keeps his tobacco
I box, and when the choir got most
through singing pa reached his hand
in his pocket and began to tumble
! around for a chew. lie touched the
4 spring, and just as everybody bowed
n their heads to receive the benedic
n ton, and it was 80 still you could
e hear Q gum drop, the music boz
began to play, aud 10 the stiffness il
! sounded as loud as a church organ
Well, | thought ma would slnk.
The minister heard ii, and he
LOGGED towards pa, and everybody
looked at pa too, and pa turned red
- - - Haan