News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-04-26
ADVENTURES OF 4 RAZOR.

I, a razor of the finest steel, am about
to speak and prove to the world that
razors can tell stories worth listening to
! as well as men. My earliest recOllec-
| tons carry me back to the time when [
ornamented with my presence the in
terror of a showcase in the shop of
cutlery dealer OF the little town of Ro-
dez in the south of France. [ know
only so much of my genealOgy as [ was
able to gather from my owner, when he
boasted of my good qualities in order to
promote my sale. In the most eulogis-
tic terms he affirmed that [ had been
made in the celebrated manufactory of
Langres, of an exceeding fine and pure
steel, and that I rivaled in keenness of
edge the famous blades of Toledo. All
these batteries rendered me amHitious.
Then I was afraid I might be purchased
by some peasant who, after having made
me a slave to his rough chin during his
life, would leave me to rust in the bot
tom of an old chest. [ possessed, on
the other hand, lively desire to travel
and to see the world, and had no taste
at all for the quiet and monotonous life
of a rustic cottage.
One day, while meditating on my fu-
ture, [ was aroused from my reverie by
the entrance into the shop of a man ac-
companied 10y a lad. They asked per-
mission to examine me, found me to
| their liking, and bought me. 1t was rot
until the morrow that I learned who my
new master was. What luck What
/ happiness ! I belonged to a future
capillary artist. My young master was
very anxious to try me, and begin his
apprenticeship, but was unable to find
| any bearded subject who possessed cOUw-
! age enough to serve as his model. Fl
naIly, after a host Of persuasive and
reassuring arguments, his father con-
| scented to be the victim of his first at
tempt.
I still retain in my razor-edged memory
the touching counsels that he gave to his
son at the moment when tie eyoung novice,
holding me with the tips Of his inexperi-
enced fingers, prepared to begin opera
tions.
''Take care! Go easy! Don't hurt
me! And above all don't forget that I
have been a good father to you"
'But, father, don't be afraid. You
talk as if you were going to die.
"OIv dear boy" replied the father,
! ''when see YOU brandish that sharp in
strument over my head L am reminded,
in spite Of myself, Of the sword Of Damo-
cIes '
Thanks to the watchfulness and the
careful advice Of the chief OF the estab-
lishment, the operation was finished
without any tragical accident.
Being Of a waggish and restless dispo-
sition, my young master, after he became
more expert in managing me, took a live
ly pleasure IN playing tricks upon the
customers who fell into his hands. Some
| times he used the back of my blade tc
shave young fellows whose faces were as
yet Ornamented with nothing more than
down, and he was greatly tickled because
they did not perceive the imposture.
When by chance he caused me to make
too profound incisions in the epidermis
of some cross customer, he hastencd tC
put the only mirror in the shop out o
sight, in order to prevent him from see
ing the havoc that he had made me com
NIT.
My days passed away in the mos
agreeable manner, and I would probably
have enjoyed for long time this delight
fuI existence had not the young hair
dresser taken it into his head to fall il
love. As it is perfectly well known tc
everybody that love is madness, thai
every sort Of Inconsistency pertains to it
and that the region Of the absurd is its
kingdom, no one viii be surprised tC
learn that he delivered himself of {
piece Of folly which resulted in his be
ing obliged to quit the country Here
IS the story: Every day, a charming
young girl, whose father was a noblemal
and a millionaire, passed the shol
either on her way to church OF while
taking a walk for pleasure. My young
master was deeply smitten by her. As
tonishing folly It was impossible fol
him to tell the girl of the impression
4 that she had made upon him, inasmucI
, as she was always accompanied by (
, duenna of the most Grabbed aspect Ny
master, who was usually so gay anC
cheerful, became sad aud downcast H,
, unused lor hours upon the means h,
should employ to make known his feel
ing. Finally, one night, when all tn,
world was asleep, he arose and directed