The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-16
HOW IT FEELS TO GO INSANE.

tons, Colonel W eekiey sad:
 4 was once insane and often muse over my experience There are, of many kinds of insanity. Some mental disorders take place so gradually that even the closest companions of the victim are at loss to remember when the trouble began. It must have been this way in my case One evening, after an progressively warm day, day when l experienced more fatigue from the heat than ever before or since, l sat on my porch fanning myself. This arm that is now in motion,' unused, must one of these days, be dust. lwonder how long will the time be. There is spot where the grass doubtless grows, that will one day be opened to receive my body-my body that is now alive. The man is pro- bably now living who will part the grass and dig my grave. There are pebbles un- der the sod-pebbles there now. that are waiting to be disturbed by the spade that lifts the clay from my grave. don't see how can die. see how easy, how necessary, it is for others to die, but when 1t comes to me, cannot sec the use. wonder if am actually compelled 10 die. Wonder if there won't be an exception to this great rule. believe that death was intended for others but that cannot die Then unused upon the evidence had of immortality. could do things that other people could not accomplish. l had gone through battle after battle, and though bullets sang and struck around me thick as hail, yet remained uninlured. had passed through cpl denies of yellow fever. People all around me were stricken as if by an averaging hand, yet passed through the terrible scenes, coming out it seemed, all the healthier for my experience My idea gained strength as unused and was convinced that should live forever It all seemed so plain, that l thought of telling my wife, but then thought how bad 1t must make her feel to know that she must soon pass away.
 The mex, morning, while walked in the garden, the sun came up in cloudless splendor, and again fell to musing. T am mere worm, thought. This great sun is immortal; not l. But may be the sun. Perhaps it IS pau of me. feel its warmth. and no matter how fast run, or which way turn, it follows me. No, this cannot be. for il follows all men alike. Yes, am to die like other men. and believe that 1t Is my duty to make the most of life; 10 make money. and enjoy myself, and to educate my chil- dren.' A great load of oppressive con- oern seemed to be lifted from my mind. l wanted to be rich, and began to study over an imaginary list oi enterprises. At last hi, upon radishes. People must have radishes- They should be in every store. They could be dried. and sold in winter. l would plant fifty acres with radish seed, and people all over the coun- try would refer to me as the radish king. would form a radish syndicate, and buy up all the radishes, ana travel around and be admired. hastened to the house to tell my wife that she was soon to be a radish queen. At the breakfas,-table l said:
 "Julia, how would you like to be a radish quecn:'
 "A what:' she exclaimed.
 II explained my plan oi acquiring grea, wealth, and during the recital she acted so curiously that was alarmed. 1 feared ,ha, she was losing her mind. Finally she seemed to understand. She agreed with me, but told me no, to say anything more about it. After breakfast saw hertalking earnestly with her father. and knew that she was explaining to the old gentleman how she intended to pay his debts when became known as the radish king. The old man ap- preached me, with much concern, and told me that l needed rest, and ,ha, mus, not think of business. He was old, and sadly worried. and l promised him that would not think of business S. Pretty soon went out to inspect my rad ish kingdom. Looking aroand, saw the old man following me. hsmorei his whim by paying no attention to him.
 From the field, went to the village. l
 approached a prominent citizen, who had always been my friend, and told him
 how intended to become nch. He
 seemed grieved, and saw at once that
 he was contemplating the same enter
 prise. IL seemed mean that he should
 take advantage of me, and told him so. i He tried .~,~lasr h.s k- st>