The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-12-27
IiUMOIs.

TEE horse prefers to dine at the table
Il oat.
Tar first weather report -Thunder.
CHrRcu music is not difficult to
choir.
Not leveled by love-The rank of an
onion.
81 FILL the Bill" said Willie when
he got into his mothers preserve closet.
And foot the Bill, remark Il papa,
overhearing the soliloluy.
I'VE have struck smoother road,
haven't WEI" asked n passenger OF
conductor on an Arkansas railway.
No" replied the conductor, I'VE have
only run off the track.
THERE is town on a Missouri rail
road called Coming. 1t is SO called be-
cause passengers are often IN doubt
whether the town is moving toward
them or the train toward the town.
MARY had a little lamb.
It's icas were snowy white,
And every time that lamb would move
The tcas were sure 20 bite.
-NP,r YORK journal
WHAT is true bravery ?" asks New
York paper. 1t is going to the door
Yourself when You don't know whether
The caller IS a dear friend, n book agent
or a man with a bill.-Phitdde'Phid
NelcS.
Can the Old Love- is the title of ii
novel. That's generally the way OF 1t.
They can the old love as soon as IL be-
comes the least bit old and put It away
to keep, while something trifle fresher
is brought out for daily use.-CtnctR-
matt Enquirer.
LITTLE Mary, who has just returned
from the West, is much interested IN
the Indians, having visited a reservation
while on her travels. She says that
"wigwams are as good as houses for
them to live in, and they answer all IN
tents and papooses. '-BOotOn Courier.
GONE away from that straw stack,
chile" called a negro woman to her
son. "Fust thing yer know yer'u hab
the hay fever. Doan yer put none OF
dat straw in yer mouf.
IT is a mean wretch who will slylv
drop hair switch in car loaded with
women, and then smile as he sees every
woman make grab for the back of her
head when she notices 1T.
THE fellow at the other end of the
telephone wire may be perfectly sound
financially, but the man at this end
should reflect, rs he listens, that his
business is in charge of a receiver. -
Pittsburgh Telegram.
WHEN the hired girl was asked to
put an extra plate on the table she said
she wasn't much of an arithmetic an,
but she could work an example in sim
pie add-dish-on like that. Cincinnati
Merchant and Traveller.
DO you think she's prctty?" he
cried. Il do indeed. I'm realty lust
wild over that girl. Then why don't !
go in and do the grand? Well, To tell
the truth, s just here: None OF the
other fellows go wild over her Mt all.
and thered be no credit in winning her
ont. -Lo,ceU citizen.
AND the cloud welded the shadows,
sings a poet. Sort of q bigger-mist, eh :?
81 say, Brown, that dog walking on
three legs must be good 1t mathemat-
les. How so?" "Wby. Just see how
naturally he puts down three and car
rieS one.
A Los ANGELES rancho has raised
a pumpkin so large that his two chill
dren use a half each for q cradle. This
may seem very wonderful in the rural
districts, but in this city three or four
full-grown policemen have been found
asleep on single beat.-Netc York
.NcUS.
IL looking over an old magazine we
came across some lines descriptive of II
public watering place in 1899. As our
readers will perceive, the lines are not
inapplicable at the present time:
Twoor three Novels, two or three TOYS:
Two or three Misses two or three b. vs.:
Two or three Aldermen reading GazetteS:
Two or three Lovers, arranged in sets;
Two or three Ladies throwing the o1ch,
And two or three Sluires pro noting the vice;
Two or three Aristocrats, silent and roud:
Two or three Democra :, silly and loud:
Two or three Parsons, as black as a Crow
Two or three Soldiers, more smart than Beau
Two or three Brokers, all fresh from Change
alley:
Two or three Clerks, with their Susan and
Sally;
Two or three Beauties, full -dress'd FOR the sea-
son:
And many Old Women, dressed quite ont of
reason.