The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-07-13
He Would Be a journalist.
Can l come inp''

Gan come inP'
A young man whose clothes were sus.
piaiously new, and upon whose face
there was complacent, self-satisfied
expression, stood in the doorway of the
editorial rooms and propounded the
above interrogatOry in q very loud and
declamatory tone of voice.
81 suppose you can" said the horse
reporter, "unless you are afflicted with
some constitutional malady which pre-
vents your putting one foot in front OF
the other, or have got pair of hobbies
on. There have some daisy fellows
come up here lately, but YOU are the
first one that wanted to know whether
he could 60 through an open door,
Il didn't mean exactly that" con-
tnued the young man. "What 1 wanted
to know was if 1 conld come into the
room for few minutes.
Certainly you can; only don't say
anything to the effect that we ought to
have pleasant summer after such q
rainy spring, or you may find yourself
apallid corpse in the donjon Keep be-
meath the moated turrets of the castle.
If you are looking for the Hawkinsville
Clarion or the Grundy County Pdlia-
dunn. you will find them in that pile of
papers over in that corner. If you are
aweary, and fain would WOO the drowsy
god. ask the man in the next room for
the Boston Advertiser. A Boston paper
will make insomnia flee away as the
black wraiths of despair and desOlation
vanish before the golden rays of hope.
Don't mistake yon haggard paste-pot
for cup-custard, because in its con-
tents there is q generous admixture of
deceased cockroaches that but few
short days agone were members of
happy family circles-now, alas, sun
dered by the cruel hand of a darksome
and unrelenting fate"
81 didn't want to read any ex-
changes" said the young man. 1.-The
object of my visit was to see the princi-
pal editOr-the one who makes engage
ments with journalists"
1.-The what?"
"The editor who makes engagements
with journalists.
30, you mean the man that hires the
hands. He's in the other room. Do
YOU WANT jour
WELL" said the young man, in a
rather naughty manner, 81 have some
thoughts of entering the journalistic
profession"
.You mean that you want to hire out
as deckhand on a newspaper, don't
you?'
perhaps that is your way of ex-
pressing it, SIR" said the young man,
but our Professor of Rhetoric always
told us that
80. you're college graduate. are
you?" said the horse reporter. Il
thought you had kind of I-shall-now-
Observation-Disclosures air
about you. l suppose you graduated
last week?r
Yes, sir" was the reply, "and l
may say that my oration-"
81 know all aboutit, Interrupted the
horse reporter. "You spoke a piece
about 'Life's Mission or Our Coun-
try's Future or something like that,
and when you had finished it the young
lady in the percale dress whom you
have been taking to the weekly meet
ings of the Platonian Literary Society
for the last two years sent a big bouquet
up to the platform for you with little
piece of rose-tinted note-paper in the
center of it, with From One Who Adj
mireS Genius written on it. And then
a lot of Teutonic musicians blew them
selves black in the face playing the Star
Spangled Banner. And in the evening
you went to the Presidents reception
with the female admirer of Genius, and
on the way home you told her that now
you were about to enter upon a new
sphere of action, to 90 forth and do
battle with the world, and carve for
yourself a niche high in the Temple of
Fame. you felt that you must tell her
how your whole existence was wrapped
up in pure, holy love for her-a love
that would never falter or fade as long
as life remained. And then she laid
her head trustfully on your manly
breast, and said that she would not try
to conceal from you the fact, ever pres
emit in her heart, that you were the one
man in all the wide, wide world upon
whom she could freely bestow that most
precious of all gifts-the tender, true
and all-absorbing love of pure woman.
But in about five years things will look
different. There are now more young
men who started out to carve niche
high in the Temple of Fame chasing
large red steers over the arid plains of
Texas or delivering mackerel to the
first families than you can shake a
tick at"
'.But surely, sir, you do not mean to
nsinuate that college education is in
my way a hindrance to the accomplish
nent of those ends which it should ever
be the aim of all who have the welfare
Of their country at heart to bring
aboutp'
''That's Just the trouble" said the
horse reporter. "Your college gradu-
,tes always start out with the idea that
t is your mission to manipulate the en-
ire universe, when as matter of fact
he most of you wouldn't do to leave in
charge of one small backyard. Be-
cause a young man knows all about the
square of the hypothenuse, and can
eel off chunks of Roman history, it
loes not necessarily follow that there
S wild competition among business
men for his valuable services. If the |
employers of America never go lame
Until their legs give out from running
Ifter college graduates there will be the
oundest lot OF underpinning on record
n this country. Erudition is a fine
hing, but you can't get much board on
t in this town"
.sBut, SIR" said the graduate, ''the |
annals of every country in which the |
highest civilization has obtained show |
hat it is the men of letters who shape |
he destinies-"
There you go again" said the horse |
Oh Oh Ia,