The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-09-27
To Kiss and to be Kissed.

law -~~sS~-
Kissing, as our readers are aware. is
under certain circumstances, q perfectly
natural proceeding, and one which, with
in certain limitations, constitutes
highly pleasing experience. 1t is a pro.
ceeding, moreover, which may he said to
have received the sanction of universal
custom from time immemorial and all
the world over; and there are not at
present any indications of its becoming
in future less popular than it has been
in the past. A kiss is not thing that
you can successfully describe. A poetic
lover who undertook the description
would probably never get beyond some
stupidity inflated generalities.
Josh Billings beautifully observes that
the more man tries to analyze kiss
the more he can't; and he believes that
the only real way to define kiss is 10
take one. Kisses, of course, vary con-
siderably. There is the formal kiss of
greeting, the. fraternal kiss of affection,
the kiss of policy, which is not always
easy to give with good grace; the kiss
under the mistletoe, which is only OBJ.
tanned after (of course) tremendous
amount of struggling and merriment;
the lovers kiss, which breathes rap.
ture; and the staid and dutiful saluta.
ton of conjugal attachment. Such
classification as this only suggests an in
definite variety of experience.
A curious case of OSCILLATION is report
ed from across the Atlantic. Some time
ago Mr.. Finch. who was in the jewelry
business in Newbern, United States,
sold to young lady named Miss Waters
what was described as beautiful set of
real jet, the bargain being that he was to
receive in payment 100 kisses, to be paid
ct the rate of one kiss daily. Mr.. Finch
was p call at the lady's house every day.
Sundays excepted, to receive his daily
kiss, which Miss Waters undertook and
promised to daily deliver to him. For
thirty consecutive days, Sundays ex-
cepted, Mr.. Finch punctually called
upon Miss Waters, and duly ro.
ceived the stipulated salutation. On the
thirty-first day, however, Mr.. Finch
made q formal complaint that Miss
Waters was not fulfilling her contract,
inasmuch as she insisted upon permit
ting him to kiss her cheek only. He
maintained that this did not constitute
legal kiss, and demanded that he should
be permitted to put his left arm around
her waist and kiss her in the highest
style of the art. To this, however, o
firm refusal was returned. The lady
offered Mr.. Finch q choice of cheeks,
but insisted that the contract would not
bear the construction put upon it. There
upon Mr.. Finch, in great indignation,
brought an action for breach of contract
against the lady
This ection raised several new and in
teresting questions, among the most i'm
portant of which was what con stituted,
in the eyes of the law a kiss. Ths6aS,irl
tiff set up the further plea that-e9l
= q difference between active and passive
kisses; that Miss Walters had promised
to give him a certain number OF kisses
not merely to allow him to take them
and that giving kisses was an act which
required the use of the lips. The case
was the subject of considerable contro.
versy in the press and elsewhere, but the
writer, unfortunately, has never been
able to discover the result of the legal
proceedings which were instituted, and
has concluded that . compromise of
some sort must, as was at one time ex-
pectcd, have been brought about.
An equally remarkable kissing trans.
action occurred not long ago in Austria.
In this instance, a kiss was actually put
up for sale ut auction, and publicly be
slowed upon the highest bidder. The
occasion was charity fete got up in the
little town OF Torrantal on behalf of the
poor of Agram. The well-meant en-
deavor OF the benevolent ladies and gen.
tlemen who acted as statesmen and STALL
holders to induce visitors to purchase
+, trifes exposed tor sale at twenty times
Atheir value had not succeeded. Business
was not brisk. The public who had
lied the sale were not in a generous
hood, and the organizers of the fete
ere disheartened. At this juncture one
II the lady patronesses, a remarkably
beautiful woman, had what she
thought happy inspiration. She took
her husband aside, conferred with him
flor Q few minutes, and shortly after,
with his consent, offered kiss to the
! highest bidder. the sum paid for the ia
vor to be added to the receipts of the
fete. Very low sums were at 6rst of
fered by the young mentor, of course,
the feminine portion of the visitors we're
not tempted by the opportunity-snd ul-
timately the kiss was knocked down at
the relatively paltry figure Of fifteen
forms and eleven kreutzers. The hus-
band of the lady seeing the slight store
set by the favor, offered to pay the
4 amount himself and take the kiss; but
the claimant had already handed over
the money. and as he refused to agree to