The Portland daily press., 1883-06-15
Wit and Wisdom.

We hand folks over to Gods mercy, and
show none ourselves George Eliot.
Horsford's Acid Phosphate, Reliable
Article.
DR.. E. CUTTER, Boston, Mass, says: /
found it to realize the expectations raised, and
regard it as a reliable article"
'Who was the meekest MANI" asked Sun
day-school teacher. Moses" VERY we'll:
who was the meekest woman" "Never was
any,"
The universal verdict, 1.-THE Hop Plaster is
the best porous plaster ever made" Only % cts
man was arrested In New York with cof-
fin under his arm, which he was trying to sell
Tor ten cents. The man wanted two bers
worse than one coffin.
To LADIEs.-If you wish TO render your skin
white and soft, use Glenn's Sulphur Soap
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in one minutet
A Vassar College Miss reads the prayerbook
response thus: GAS it was in the beginning
is now, and ever shall be, World ,cithom men
All, mel"
The great sale of Swedish Remedies is aston
ishing, and for enrishing tho blood, creating
an appetite, or strengthening the whole sys.
tern nothing can surpass these remedies.
What is the greatest charge on record?'
asked the professor of history. And the stu
dent answered; Seventeen dollars for hack
hire for self and girl, for two hours"
The sure effects of Ayers Sarsaparilla are
thorough and permanent. II there is a lurk-
ing faint of Scrofula about you, Ayers sarsa-
parilla will dislodge it and expel 1t from your
system.
To be able to bear provocation, is an argu-
ment OF great reason, and to forgive it, of a
great mind.
Here, yon scoundrel, I've been chasing
your car two blocksl I'll report you to the
company" 'Ol don't get rusty old feller I'm
not like pertaty, with eyes all over me-"
If you v ish to attain perfect health and ex-
emption from any or all the ills that human
flesh is heir to, understand yourself by reading
that invaluable self-instructing work entitled
"The Science Of Life; or, Self Preservation,
advertised in this paper.
The poet was thinking OF the spider when he
said, "Beauty draws us with single hair"
Every spider has its single lair Something
siDgle-air about this.
A society correspondent writes-I was chat
ting with bright young German girl the 9th
er evening, at small german, when our atten-
ion was directed to tall and handsome WON
an who had just entered the room. who |.
she?" asked my companion; and I, wishing to
be poetical, answered. "a daughter OF the
godsP. II don't know her" my partner re-
plid, critically examining the new conner
through her lorgnette, "the gods are not in our
SET"
That man was a conscientious Christian who
recently died in Somerville and concerning
whom this story is told: He had married the
second time and his wife, loving and kind
hearted woman, was greatly disturbed at his
approaching dissolution. ~ believe there Is
no chance of my recovery" be said. "She
shook her head and burst into tesrs "The
doctor says no, but there is one consolation
you're prepared, john" Eyes, I'm quite pre-
pared" "rhen we'll meet ia heaven" she
said. Eyes, hope SO; bat as was married
before, We can only meet as friends" This Is
rather hard on the poor widow II she doesn't
happen TO get married again.-Somerville
Journal.
1t is said that one hundred millions Of dol
lars in gold are lying hid in Egypt Now we
understand why Jay Gould's new yacht cleared
for the Suez Canal. burlington Hawkeye.