The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-02-21
TABLE GOSSIP.
Denver Tribune

Wnen you see q sour faced woman sitting
ashes on her sidewalk, it is difficult to tell
whether she loves the human race or hates
the new carpet of her next door nsighbor.
A Maine Legislator is thus biographical:
| Joseph Z. Moore, Thomastcn, Democrat
In religion, independent as a man can be
whose wife and mother-in-law are Baptists."
Whoever doubts that the newspapers have
a mission should enter a car ana see how
useful they are 10 the men when a fat
woman with big basket is looking around
for a seat
81 have no wealth." she said; 81 can give
you only my hand and heart" And then
ne thought that if her heart was as big as
her hand she was indeed wealthy.-Provi-
dence Journal.
Said De Musset "The only true language
of love is kiss" But what Musset would
have made had he not been thoroughly ia
miliar with the sccidence of that language.
Boston Transcript.
A few words properly used express a great
deal. How do my customers like my
milk?' The youth, the fearfully precocious
youth, looked into the milkmsn's face with
q perplexed expression and asked Your
what
eff you would be truly happy, my dear
said one New York lady to another, you
will have neither eyes nor EARS when your
husband comes home late from the club"
Yes, l know" answered the other YEARLY.
"but what ana | TO do with my nOss?'
Nothing will make a woman more thor
Oughly man than wear $50 hose TO ball,
get her dress caught up on chairs, and have
| lots of similar accidents and then find when
she comes to go home mat she has danced
ali the evening with old wOollen leggiDgs on,
having forgotten TO REMOVE them.
| Ordinarily man has no trouble in finding
an excuse for STAYING away FROM Church.
Fogg, however. says be has Kept away for the
last SIX month, just 20 see If he could find a
| reasonable excuse, but hasn't discovered one
yet. He proposes to stay away until lie does
find one, if it takes a liietime.-Boston
Transcript.
II knew he was no ssint" said the par
sons wife, referring TO a party who occs-
sionally visited the Church, but whose piety
her husband had been in the habit of ex
| tolling NO saint my dear?' | don't I'M
derstand your Don't co? Well, | sat
| in the pew next to him this morning aud
when he was getting down 10 pray his knee
joints creaked like the rusty hinges of an old
oarn-door."
"In our ,untry," said the Englishman,
as he leaned back In his chair, before We
| marry we arrange to settle a certain sum
upon the wife" Eyes, | know" replied
the American, but with US it IS different.
IL is after we are married that we settle
everything on the wife and arrange to beat
our creditors "Hawl see. And how do
| the creditors take itP' They never find
anything to take."-New York Commercial
Advertiser.
The grease: When he had called the meet
| ing to order Brother Gardner arose aud said !:
"Gen'len, If it wasn't for de wheels on a
wagon thu wagon wouldn't move. When de
wheels is on den what? "Greasel" solemn
! ly exclaimed an old man. "Kerrect!"
viii speIed the President, softly rubbing his
hands together. I'VE hez de wagon an de
wheels. We will now pass de hat aroun' for
de grease. Detroit Free Press.
One of the most popular conductors that
ever ran train out of Boston has the credit
of the following bon mot: Not long since a
special minister's ticket was handed to him,
| to which he gave careful inspection, as his
duty required. The passenger quite tartly
remarked that it was unnecessary to be so
very particular about his ticket. The con-
ductor replied, in his quiet and ever
courteous manner: 81 am only looking to
see where you are going sir. don't care
to see In the morning papers. Another min
lister gone wrongP Traveller.
$50 you has triplets at your house?" said
Rev. Whangdoodle Baxter TO Sleepy Pete,
a member of his congregation. Yes, Par
gaS" when is yer gwineter to hab 'em
baptiZedr Can't tell yer, Parson. Pse
gwineter find out which preacher in Austin
will baptize 'em for de least money, an de
lowest bidder am gwIneter git de job. If de
lowest bid am too high, den Use gwineter
pick out de gal an hab her baptized, an let
de two boys worry along widout any bap-
tlsm, until de times mas quit bein' SO pan
icky. "-Siftings.
Emerson E. Watson, who has heretofore
been a very sober, respectable sort of man.
has of late taken 10 running with some of
the Legislators, who are no in session a.
Austin. Oae of the consequences is that he
/ comes home late at night, and, apparently,
in very deoilitated condition. Last night,
when his wife opened the door for him, she
exclaimed: You ought to be sshsmed of
Yourself to come home in this C Jnditionl"
Look here, Sarah, II you had BEEN running
around all night with them Legislative
fellers you would be in a - sight worse
fix than am."-Siftings.