The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-12-26
THE LIIEKILN CLUES MAsroDoN.
A Scientific Controversy Between Judge
Congo and Walk Around Green.

A Scientific Controversy Between Judge
Congo and Walk Around Green.
Detroit Free Press.
During the past week the club has received
at the hands of a prominent South Carolina
scientist. part of the VertebrGe of" maStodon
-one of the playful animals winch lived,
roamed and died in this country about fifty
years before Susan B. Anthony was born, 1t
Sc happened that Judge Congo and Walk
Around Green were the first two members to
arrive at the hall at the usual Saturday night
meeting and the relic at once engaged their
attention. Judge Congo squint ted up his left
eye, puckered his mouth, and declared that
the mastodon who lost this piece of back bone
must have been twenty-four feet long, six
teen feet high, and heavy enough to jar the
city hall by rubbing against a cor
ner Walk Around Green is
heavy on poultry statistics and light on
mastodons, and it therefore came about that
when Windy White, Samuel Shin and Sir
William Tompkins arrived it was TO find a
terrible struggle going on between the two
men and the backbone kicking around un-
der the benches. The combatants were sep
arated but had not got the blood wiped off
before Brother Gardner arrived and opened
the meeting. When the triangle had sounded
and Waydown Bebee had finished his lone
some coughing tiV, the president arose and
said
"Gemlen, human natur ai.l Il mighty Gurus
thing. De average man will git mad quicker
an fight harder ODER what he doan' know an
has no chance to fin out dan fur sunthn' he
am posted about. What judge Congo doan'
know about mastodons would make book
as big as one-hoss wagin. What Walk
Around Green doan' know about the same
anamile would weigh two tons an half
Darfore day were de VERY two men to git
up fight wild ignorance fur the basis.
"It,has bin so from de beginnin', an it will
ho AZ hfoy, -bO l.
bout de Bible have de moas' disputes ODER
it, De biggest ignoramusses on astronomy
an philosophy hold to DER opinyuns de
strongest and de longest. Prejudice will
beat Jacks nine times outer ten, an bigotry
am de club which knocks down sense an
argument Judge Congo wouldn't take an
inch nor an ounce off de size an weight of
dat mastodon, though he neber saw one nor
come widin three thousand y ars of it. Walk
Around Green wouldn't believe one side of
no SIGH story bekase a maStadon wasn't
chained up at de doah whar he could
! measure him wild a two-foot rule Neither
would accept material history an scientific
research.
while dar' am some mitigatin' sarcum-
stances an excuses fur dis quarrel, de sem
tence of dis char am to de effect dat both
offenders shall pay fine of So, 500 an costs "
This being the first time that either of the
derelicts had been called to the chalk-mark,
IL WAS "a peCteu tudC Iuey WOulu Ue ulSGnlSSeQ
with Teprimand. The sentence, therefore
fell like heavy weight. Judge Congo rolled
his eyes from north to south for moment,
and then fell back in a faint, while Brother
Green gasped for breath, made an awful ef-
fort to smile, and leaned over on the wood
box and cried like weary child until the
current of his thoughts was changed by some
one droppinga cold sidewalk spike down be-
hind his coat collar
Sir Isaac Walpoe desired to state, before
passing the oean-box, that he perfectly
agreed with the president in his remarks
There was time when he himself held that
the world was exactly 1924 324 years and 3
months old, aud he would have knocked a
man down for adding or substracting two
hours to or from these figures. He had got
six months sickness, a broken jaw, and
thirty days in the cooler for disputing on
matters OF which he was entirely ignorant
but firmly 'sot," and had now ceased the
practice