Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-01-20
ERDSTOWN JEFFERSON COUNTY VIRGINIA. SATURDAY, JAN TO- 1888

Portable around her shoulders and told pa
he was a disgrace to civilization. She
tried to get pa 10 drink some carbO!ic acid.
Pa finally convinced ma that il was moth
ing. and then they decided that it was the
house that smelled so, as we'll Il the
church, and all Sunday afteynoon they
went visiting, AID this morning pa went
down to the health office and got the in
spectOr of nuiSanccs 10 come up 10 the
house, and when he haG smelled around
spell he said there were dead rats in the
main sewer pipe, aDd they sent for the
plumbers, and ma went out TO 4 ncighOOrS
to borry some fresh air, and when the
plumbers began to dig mp the floor in the
basement come over here. II they find
any OF that limburgcr cheese it will 90
hard with me. The hired girls have bO;h
quit, aud ma says she is going to break
up keeping house and board. That is just
into my hand. | want to board At 4 hotel,
where YOU can have bill-ol-iare anG
tooth picks and billiards AMI everything.
Well, guess | will 20 over 10 the house
and stard in the back door and listen 20
the mocking bird. If you see me come
flying out of the alley with my cOat-tail
full of boots you can bet they have dis
covered the sewer gas
LITTLE FUN Al THE BREAKFAST TABLE.
Yes" said the boy, with vacant
look, II take no interest in the pleasure
of the chase any more. though did have
Il little quiet fun this morning ut the
breakfast table. You see pa j. the contra
rieSt man ever was. II complain that
ANYTHING at the table don't taste good. pa
says il is all right. This morning took
the syrup pitcher and emptied out the
white syrup anG put in some cod-liver oil
that ma is taking tor her cough. / put
some on my pancakes aud pretended TO
taste of it, and told pa the syrup was
sour, and he poured ont some on his pam
cakes and said was getting too coniOnud-
ed particular. He said the syrup was good
enough for him, and he sOpped his pan
cake in it and fired some down his neck.
He is Il gaul Garncd hypocrite, that's what
he is. | could see by his face that the cod
liver oil was near killing him, but he said
the syrup was all right, and if didn't eat
mine he'd break my neck; aud by gosh
had to eat'it, and pa he gnessed he hadn
much appetite aud would just drink Il cup
of coffee and eat douu,. like TO didc,
aud tha, think makes this diSappoint-
ment in love harder to bear. But felt
sorry for ma. Ma ain't got a very strong
stummich, and when sh" got some of thai
cod-liver oil in her mouth she went mp
stairs, sickc:n Il horse, and pa haC To help
her, and she had noOralgia all the morn
ing. eat pickles to take the taste ont OF
nv mouth, and then / laid for the hired
girls. They eat too much syrup anyway,
and when they got on To that cOd-llver oil
aud swallowed a lot of il, one OF them, an
nirish girl, she got up from the table aud
put her had on her corset and said 'howly
Moses" and went out into the Kitchen
looking rs pale rs ma does when she has
powder on her face, and the other girl,
who is Dutch, she swallowed "a pancake
and said, Mine Got;, vas de matter from
me-, and she went out and leaned on the
coal bin. Chen they talked Irish and
Dutch, and got clubs and started to look
for me, and thought | would come over
here. The whole family is sick, but it j.,
not from love, like my illness, aud they
will get over it, while shall ill an early
grave; but not till have made that girl
and the telegraph messenger wish they
was dead. Pa aud are going 20 Chicago
next week, and III bet well have some
fun. PA says need Il change of air, aud
| think he is going to try and lose nae.
It's cold day when get left anywhere
hat i can't find NY way back. Well,
goodbye, Old potatoes. ''-MlipQukee Sun.