The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-06-07

they are always in good health and con.
seqnently in good laying order. spare
no work that will conduce to health and
comfort of fowls. am especially care
tnt to feed regularly and enough, but not
too much, and III as great variety as the
season will admit Of; careful to give air
and clean roosts. and continually battling
against vermin, whether can find anV
traces of any or not"
How Young Men Go About the Bnsi-
ness of Counting.
The sparkers are looked upon by psr.
ents generally az nuisance and often
they are right. Nine.tents of the spark
ing is done by boys who have not their
growth, and they look so green that it is
laughab]e for the old folks to look at
them. They haven't generally got a
second shirt, and they are no more Quail
lied to get married than q steer is to
preach: And yet marrying is the only
thing they think Of. A green boy with.
out a dollar, present or prospective.
sparkling girl regularly, and talking
about marrying Is ! spectacle fors GODS
and nen. He should be reasoned with.
and II he will not quit it until he is able
to support wife, and to know whom hs
loves and the difference between love
and passion, he should be quarantined
assert in a convent erected for such
peuc.
Nine-tenths of the unhappy marriages
are the results of green human calves be-
Ing allowed to run at large in the society
pastures without any yoke on them.
They marry and have children before
they do lnustaches; they are fathers of
twins before they are proprietors of two
pairs Of pants, and the little kris thew
marry are old women before they are
twenty years old. Occasionally one of
these goslin marriages turns out all right,
but it is clear case of luck. Ifthere
was law against young tAloots sparkling
and marrying bsfore they have cut all
their teeth, we suppose the little imps
would evade 1t in some way, but there
ought to be a sentiment against it.
1t is time enough for these bantAtcs to
think OF finding pNllet when they
nave raised money enough to buy bum
they see q girl who looks cunning and
they are afraid there are not going to be
girls enough to go around, and then
they begin to get in their work real spry:
and before they are aware of the sancity
OF the marriage relation they are
hitcbed for life, and before they own
cook stove or a bedstead, they have to
get up in the night and go after the
doctor, so frightened that they run them
selves out Of breath, and abuse the doc
tor because he doesn't run too, and when
the doctor gets there there is not enough
linen in the house to wrap up a dol!
baby.
1t is about this time that q young man
learns he is colossal tool, and as he
flies around to heat water and bring in
the bath tub, and goes whooping after
t''s mother or her mother, he turns pale
around the gills, his hair turns red in a
single night, and he calls high Heaven
to witness that If he lives till morning,
which he doubts about, he will turn over
he is older. And'in the morning the
green looking father" is aroused before
drug store is open, with no collar on:
his hair sticking out all over, his eyes
blood shot and his frame nervous, wait
ing for the clerk to open the door so
that he can get some saffron to make the
tea Of.
Less than year ago he thought he
was the greatest man that there ever
was anywhere, but as he sits there in
the house that morning with his we'd
ding coat rusty and shiny and his pants
frayed at the bottom, and his coat patch.
Ell ut the elbow, and the nurse puts in
his arms roll of flannel with a baby
hid in it, he holds 1t as he would a ban
ana, and as he looks at bis girl wife on
the bed, he thinks that there is not pro-
visions enough in the house to feed
canary, a lump comes up in his throat,
and he says to himself that if he had it
to do over he would leave that little girl
at home to grow up with her mother,
and he wonld wait till he had six dollars
to buy flannel and ten dollars to pay a
doctor. We ask some of our Young
friends to cut this ont and pnt it in their
hats -IIomo c;rolx,