Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-03-20
MUGGIN'S COURT.
A TRIBUNAL WHICH "DIDST PEDDLE
OUT LAW FOR NoTHIN'.
Mr.. DEyrSsYs CONTEST WITH CONSTABLE BUN
AND THE SQUIRE.
fsprInraeld tOhIol Globe.

L
AND THE SQUIRE.
springfield lohio) Globc.l
Squire Muggins is red-haired man
who looks something like the bulldog
Pilot which killed the alleged dog Crib
only the Square has more the appearance
of an unsuccessful burglar than Pilot
has Old Muggins chews dog-leaf tobac-
CO and wears rusty black clothes but
hates anything in the shape of a cravat.
His hands are always dirty, but that is
not a matter of so very much Importance
after all, for he keeps them well hidden
the best part of the time in his pockets.
Constable Bum is the Squares right
hand man, and what the two don't get
out of those who have cases in Muygin' 5
court it wouldn't pay to be in with.
Constable Bum is man of infinite ex-
perience, he having done time, been a
prize fighter, served as a policeman and
been member of Council.
There was a case in Squire Muggins
cour: yesterday, in which a man named
John Devinny sued a poor devil named
Henry Myers for a Sl3 store account.
Here is the account itemized, and
am ready to swear to it, stated Devlnny
as he handed His Honor his bill against
Myers.
Read it yourself, I've lost my glass
es," said the Court. The bill was read
and Squire Muggins asked Myers why
he didn't pay it:
because have no money and cant
get any work" replied Mr.. Myers.
"Hain't you got no money nor moth
ing at ALL severely inquired His Hon
or
"Not a red" was the answer. "Ivc
pawned everything I've got in the world,
and I'm dead broke
"In that ere case I'll have to decide
this suit agin Deyinny, and put the costs
on him. Step around here and pay sl7.-
so costs, Devinny.'
Thunder and lightning, what do |
get out Of this suit if | have to lose my
sl3, and am compelled to pay $3.50
costs in addition - remarked Deyinny.
at don't make no difference. Settle
up and ge, out Of this that's what you Il
git ou, Of this" toarcd Muggins. ave
don't peddle out law here for nothing.
Somebody has got to pay them costs,
and as you are the only one that's got
any money in the case you'll have to
come 70 time"
I'D like to see the bill of costs, pro-
tested Devinny.
You'll see nothing. We don't give
bills of cost in this ere Court
"Well, I'd like to have a protest en-
tered upon your docket. propose to
employ lawyer and fight this case
I'VE amt got no docket. We do
business on a cash basis here. Every
case is settled for by somebody as soon as
| decide it, and that ends it. We don't
bother keeping any records
You will at least give me receipt
for the Sl1.50:'
I'VE don't give you nothing. Just
plank down the money-thats all youv
got to do.
There's a $40 bill ; give me the
change"
IL amt got no change. Well jus,
call it square. y
You are an old robber excitebly yell
ed Devinny.
He had no more than said that before
Constable Bum had him by the back OF
the neck and was hustling him out Of
the Court room. There was a short
sharp struggle, but in a jify Devinny
was out in the street. When he shook
himself together he found that his watch
was gone. Rushing back into the
'Sauire's Court he saw Constable Bum
complacently showing the missing watch
to Squire Muggins, He at once charged
Bum with the theft of his ticker, and
demanded its return.
Gimme the super said Muggns
land I'll settle this case" Then he
added "I'll continue the case till next
Tuesday, and will keep the watch as Sc
curity for the appearance Of Mr.. Bum"
Devinny looked around for his hat
but it was not to be found, and he hur.
ried out of the place bareheaded. When
he reached his store and was asked wha
luck he had had, he replied:
Very good, very good, indeed.
lost the case, paid the costs, had IN.
watch and hat stolen, but | saved m!