The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1883-12-26
CESAR AND THE GOOSE.
A HUMOROUS STORY OF oLD-TIMH
LIFE IN THE souTR.
How the Roasted Bird was Dcspoilcd
of Il Leg, and how the deficiency
was Accounted For.

How the Roasted Bird was DcSpOiled
of Il Leg, and how the Deficiency
was Accounted o
Colonel Harding was one of the wealth.
lest planters on the Mississippi river. lie
was very fond of entertaining and his
dinners were known the country round.
The basis of much of Colonel llarding's
pDmp was his cuisine, 1.-THE perfection of
which his negro cook, Caesar, toiled night
and day with that unceasing industry
that the negro cvinccs when engaged in
the destinations Of the culinary art. But,
alas. that | should have to record it
Caesar, like all great men, had his weak
ness. and that weakness was no less than
the lazy. impudcnt, shiftlcss, good-for-
nothing Dinah.
One Sunday. Just as the dinner was
going up stairs. Dinah sauntercd into the
Kitchen with siding. shutfling gait. and
with the easy confidence of one who knew
her rights.
''I.ook hyar. YOU Dinah," said Caesar,
trembling with the forcboding of i'll,
''luan' YOU come foolin' roun' hyar. |
got no time to boddcr wild You. SO you
jess 90 long"
II amt foolin' roun' nobody" said
Dinah, s~ullcnly, as, like one of Paul
Jones frigatcs. she sidlcd up to'thr
kitchen table.
Now. on that table. all succulcnt i'll fin
ings and gravy. lay Il fat roast goose.
Drowned to a turn, and just ready to
ascend to the COloncl's table. In the
twinkling of IN eye, and before Caesar
could prevent the mischief, Dinah
whipped off one of the legs and bolted
for the door.
.'Hyar. hyar: nigger gal, bring back
dat leg" rushing after her with II turn
spit in his hand. bring back dat leg
| dis minute"
But Dinah was now far away dancing
in the twilight, and munching away
| dcstructivcly ut her stolen property.
Poor Caesar. in the meantime. was in de-
spair. lie hustled around the kitchen,
racking his brains for some remedy to re-
pair the havoc Dinah had
made. Suddenly. Il thought struck him.
With the goo in his hands, he rushed
fnnticallv to eFcs~ngc, boldly threw
! open the crate door. and dcXtcrouSly cN-
posed the dcspoilcd side of the goose to
the glowing Goals within. This done.
he carefully deposited the goose, with
the remaining leg upward. on the plate
again, and with trembling heart awaited
the issue. The situation was indeed crit
.ical. Soup had been served, and fish;
they were now passing the roast. 1t was
time for the goose to appear. With the
natural instinct of self preservation, how
ever. Caesar deferred the awful momcn
rs long as possible. In fact, he went so
far in his mental processes as to dcludc
himself with the hope that It might not
be necessary to send up the goose at all.
lie was rudely awakened from his dream,
however. by the coloncls body-scrvant
coming down stairs and crying out:
The kunncl wants 10 know why you
doan' send up dat goose"
Resistance was useless. Caesar ADAM
doncd himself to his fate. In contrast to
this scene. all was merrimcnt and laugh
ter above stairs. The colonel was in high
s~pirits; he had been telling n of his
f~avoritc anecdotes, and it had been I'M
usually we'll received, and, as the goose
was placed before him his eye cleaned
with further satisfaction. In nothing did
he take so much pride as his geese
Miss Jones'" asked the colonel, bland
". ..what shall I help you to! Will you
take a wing or a piece of the brcast!'
''Ill take Il leg, if You please" replied
Miss Jones.
''Certainly, Miss Jones; and what can
l help You to, Miss Smith,"
After a moments hesitation, Miss
Smith replied, like Miss Jones, that she,
too. would take Il leg.
4 puzzled expression began to show
itself on the colonel's brow. Look where
he would he could not find that other
leg. lie turned the goose over and over.
In his pcrplcxity. he looked around the
table, to see if by chance the leg had
straved on to another plate.
Then the thought began to dawn upon
him he WAS being tritlcd with, insulted
by his own cook.
"Tcll C;rsar," said the colonel to one
of his servants, Il want TO see him in
stantly; tell him to come up just as he is.
Ladies ard gentlemen" said the colonel,
pointing nonchalantlv, with his carving
knife. to the goose, There is Il little
mystery here that trust will be cX-
planned satisfactorily. have only been
able to discover one leg to the goose, but
| hope ina few minutes to be able to as
certain where the other leg has disap-
pcarcd to-
There was Il s,ccly look in the cold,
gray eyes; something relentless in his
very urbanity. And when poor Cesar
appeared before his master, tremblingi in
every limb. and the pupils of his eyes
dilating with terror, the sympathieS OF
the company were entirely with him. and
not with his master.
"Cirsar," said the colonel, quietly,
"do YOU see that goose"
"Ycs, sah.'
And how did YOU come to send up Il
goose that had only il Leg"
"COs, massa, your geese only got one
leg" gasping, like Il drowning man, ut a
straw.
"My geese have only one Leg
"Ycs, sab" dctiantly, The very
novelty OF the idea embroidered him.
''Do YOU mean to stand there and tell
me that my geese have only got one Leg
Yes. cherry ONE
Very we'll, Caesar. that will do for the
present." said the colonel, with Il grim
smile. 'In the morning we shall see if
you are right. But let Inc tell you, sir,
if you are wrong, I'll teach you to be
more accurate in your anatomy in the
future
Poor Caesar well knew what this meant.
He was most certainly in for Il whipping.
The next morning the colonel and his
guests walked down in solemn process
ion to the duck pond there, sure enough,
were all the geese standing on one leg.
"Didn't | tell You so! Didn't | tell
YOU so, NASSAU" cried Cesar, triumph
antly.
'.Shoo. shoo!" said the colonel.
Every goose put down his leg.
But Caesar was equal to the cmcr-
gcncy.
Dat amt fair. masSa; you know dat
amt fair! You didn't say shoe to dat
goose on dc tahlc."-.Sun Francisco ar
yo"a"t.
Making Matches.
The manufacture Of matches is an en-
tcnsivc industry in Sweden. From the
fact ,rirS in %.Ionkoping. in Smaland, Wen
crshorg. and Maricsbad, at the foot of
the great inland lakes Wcttcrn and Wen
crn. the homes of the civilized world are
lighted up. Already very rich and pow
crful, these factories are growing more
so since the United States has become
their great customer.
At Jonkoping is the oldest and great
est match factory in the world. 1t was
established 100 years ago. There are
shown specimens of the matches in use
when the nineteenth century began. They
are big fagots of wood, with II handle
and IL tip to dip in Il sulphur tub. They