The Labor enquirer., 1883-02-03
STRAYED OR STOLEN.

p
trade is generally some two ounces
short. .>
Rumor says that the Chicago women
have organized fire company. They
call it Balbr1gan hose, No. 10.
A professor was lecturing On after
Man, What?" A listener remarked that
it was generally the sheriff or some
woman
."Will the coming man use both hands,"
is question asked by scientific paper.
Ifthe neighbor's dog that he pets has
feas, he will
A New Yorker has invented amachine
for playing piano. Good heavens! are
there not girls enough? Isn't it time to
have lynching?
Girls should take supply Of parched
coffee along with them to the theater to
keep their young men from running out
for it between the acts.
A little. girhin London Sunday school,
being asked why God made the flowers
of the field replied, Il suppose for pat
terms for artificial flow ers."
Prof-"If you attempt to squeeze any
solid body it will always resist pressure"
Glass smiles and cites examples Of ex-
ceptions which prove the rule.
When an Office boy put tack, busi-
ness side upwards, on chair, and waited
for some one to sit down, he gravely
called it "harbinger of spring"
naintakseraientaskr onhate
is the little Iriquos work that means
habitual prayer Observation-Disclosures
givingus is the orthodox response.
Habit takes strong hold on man. A
New York assemblyman wouldn't vote
for bill increasing his own salary until
somebody paid him bribe to do so.
Kssimmee is the name of a thriving
town in Florida. Young ladies living
there do not dare to name the place of
their residence in the hearing of stran-
gers.
They are going to reduce the tariff,
take the tax off matches and bring false
hair down so low that it will be cheap
enough to put in mince pie as well as
hash.
A man who has happened to have a
good deal of experience SAYS: Stand
anywhere but four feet to the left of a
woman when she hurls an old bottle at
henp
A bald-headed man, who has heard
that the hairs of a mans head are num-
bered, wants to know if there is not
some place where he can obtain the back
numbers
81 live in JuIia's eyes, said an affected
dandy in CoIeman's hearingt Il don't
, wonder at it," replied George, since |
observed she had sty in them when |
saw her last"
The child who leaves the rolling pin
on the stairs for bis father to step on
when. he comes down in the morning
may mean no harm, but won't come out
well Christmas.
1T is more blessed to give than to re-
ceive" is the aphorism adopted to Ameri
cas- "best society" regarding Mrs. Lang
try" They give the dollar but do not
receive" the lady.
At recent marriage ceremony in one
of the Providence churches the contract
ing parties were thirty minutes behind
time, and the organ pealed out, "Oh,
dear, what can the matter be"
A New York man fell into a sewer,
and the first words he gasped Oh being
fshed out were, "Oh, heavens" Just
what there is about a sewer to suggest
heaven, even to New York man, we
don't see,
"Whither departs the perfume of the
rose? Into what life dies music's golden
sound?" asks Celia Thaxter in a poem.
Presume they 60 the same way as the
odor of limburger cheese and blast on
fog horn.
"How old is that dog?" was asked of a
colored man. "If he lives ter see the
fifth of next June, sab, he will be de
oldest dog on the plantation" And if
he don't live until then" He'll be
dead Sah"