davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
What Detains Then,9

"Women do all the talking" did you
say, sir? Yes, I have frequently heard
that oft-repeated assertion. Indeed. I
am fully aware that women are proyerb-
ially incessant chatterers. And yet can
you tell me what detains Mr.. Brown so
long every evening after his work is
done? He can't be talking to anybody,
Of course; but he is usually an hour or
an hour and half late in getting home.
And can you inform me why MI.
Jones stays SO long when he goes across
the street to borrow an ak to chop lit
tie wood? We thoroughly understand
that he doesn't hold prolonged CONVEX
sation with single soul.
Or why does jenkins require three
hours to run around the corner" and
purchase that butter for which his wife
is patiently (D waiting? He surely can
not be gossiping with the grocer.
I should like to know, also, why the
majority of men require half the night
to "ride just down to the village" and
deliver a short message? That they
never inger to talk we are quite conf
dent, for do they not positively affirm
that women do all the talking ?-,S. Jen-
ME Smith, IN Long Island Star.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
HOW no STOP A PAPER.

The following, from one of our ex-
changes, so fully and clearly expresses
our views on the subject, that we copy
it without comment: "You have an un-
doubted right to stop a newspaper
when you feel disposed, upon the pay
ment of all arrearages. To not hesi-
tate to do so on account of tenderness
for the editor. Don't you suppose he
would stop buying sugar of you, or
meat, clothing or dry goods, etc., if he
thought he was not getting his moneys
worth, and why should you not exercise
the same privilege with him? And
when you discontinue a paper, do so
manfully. Don't be SO spiteful as to
throw it back to the Postmaster with a
contemptuous I don't want it any lon
gerp and have refused written on the
margin, and have the paper returned
to the editor. No gentleman ever
stopped it in that way, no matter if his
head is covered with gray hairs that
should be honorable. If you do not
longer wish to receive a newspaper,
write a note to the editor like a man,
saying so-and be sure that arrearages
are paid. This is the way to stop a
newspaper"
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
HOLD YOUR IDEAL DOWN.

Perhaps the most-important thing of
all is to keep ones ideal within the
bounds of the attainable To strain
after the impossible exhausts the ener-
gies in futile effo1t, and leads to dis
couragement. Morbid reaching for the
infinite has blighted many life. The
child who cries for stars shows his good
sense when he dries his tears and turns
his attention to mud pies, but it is bet
ter to be star-struck than to have ones
aspirations stuck fast in the mud. In a
word, to realize a high ideal it must
rest upon solid basis of reality, and to
actually achieve worthy results the
ideal striven after must be exalted and
ennobling. Chicago Inter Dream.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
Feminine Smiles.

How TO produce q telling effect
Communicate a secret to woman.
IT was an old maid who, when she
heard that matches were made in heav-
en-, remarked that she didn't care cent
how soon she went there.
WHY is young lady who does not
mean what she says likely to fall into
the hands of the police? Because she is
likely to be missapprehended.
ONCE they started girls seminary in
Utah. It four1shed well, but just in the
height of its prosperity the principal
eloped with the whole school.
"I THINK the goose has the advantage
of you," said lady to an inexpert
boarder who was carving. "Guess it
has, mum-in age" was the whitening
retort.
"WHAr do you think of my new bon
metz" said Mrs. Spicer. "Too much
poke for shilling,' said Seth; but he
viii change his mind when the bill
comes in.
Nor too funny: "Dwo vas schoost
enough. but dree vas too blendty," re-
marked Hans, when his best girl asked
him to take her mother along with them
to dance.
A DEAF man, lately married, was asked
at the club about his bride: els she
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
IN IGNORANT RICH MAN.

Some curious comments are made
upon ignorant men who become rich.
The other day some railroad men were
talking about man who twenty years
ago was working on the streets, but
who has made fortune and can draw
his check for 100000. "Yes," said a
conductor who had been listening, "he
may draw his check for 100000, but
FL bet he can't sign his name to it
without running out his tongue
Those who have seen an old man run
out his tongue when he writes his name,
can appreciate the remark best-Peck's
Sun.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
The Spot Where Their Paths Parted.

1t was night, phenomenon occurring
seven times week.
The moon shone brightly from the
heavens This latter clause is always
added, although nobody ever saw the
moon shining from q hay-loft or frog
pond, or anything else except from the
heavens.
Two lovers strolled along the rivers
bank, and Luna's soft rays mirrored
their reflection in the water, disclosing
the fact that her hustle was on crooked,
and that her head alarmingly resembled
an egg.
Erred" she murmured, chokingly, as
a great sob made her bosom heave,
"shaIl I meet you in heaven?
Fred stopped where he stood, and
locked her square in the face.
"Well, darling, said he, slowly, as he
folded her to his breast, "I really can't
tell. It depends on whether you 90
there or not"
The moon still shines on from its high
posihon, the water still murmurs, but
they don't any more. Fact is they are
both married and settled down, but they
amt husband and wife:-SprinajfeZd
NeDS.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
Phrases Abo1tt WOnseIl.


WRINKLES disfgure woman less than
M-nature.-Dupuy.
WOMAN is an idol that man worships
until he throws it down.
WOMEN love always; when earth slips
from them they take refuge in heaven.
THE whisper of beautiful woman can
be heard further than the loudest call of
duty.
OF all things that man possesses,
women alone take pleasure in being pos
sessed.-Malherbe.
BEFORE promising a woman to love
only her one should have seen them all,
or should only see her.-Dupay.
We meet in society many beautiful
and attractive women whom we think
would make excellent wives-for our
friends.
WE censure the Inconsistency of women
when we are the victims; we find it
charming when we are the objects. Il.
Desnoyers.
The highest mark of esteem a woman
can give a man is to ask his friendship !;
and the most signal proof of her indiffer-
ence is to offer him hers.
IT is not easy to be widow; one must
reassume all the modesty of girlhood,
without being allowed to feign its ignor-
ance.-Mdd0nae de Girardin.
AT 20 man is less a lover of woman
than of women; he is more in love with
the sex than with che Individual, how
ever charming she may be.-Retif de la
BretOn7ae.
MEN are so fearful of wounding a
woman's vanity that they rarely remem-
Der that she may, by some possibility,
possess a grain of common sense. Miss
BrodGon.
WOMEN of the world never use harsh
expressions when condemning their III
vals. Like the savage, they hurl elegant
arrows, ornamented with feathers OF
purple and azure, but with poisoned
points.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
the new game Washington letter to
Cincinnati Commercial.
A Business Trip.

A young married man at st. Louis
hotel, having told his wife that business
called him out for the night, sent note
to friend from the billiard room to the
following effect: "DEAR B.-Come down
and join us. 9. and I are going out for
"a time tonight. We are going to take
in the town. Don't give it away" They
went out and had time" About 10
o'clock next morning the husband ap-
peared, grip-sack in hand, and entered
his room, where he found his wife crying
by the window. swell, my DEAR" he
said, bracing up as we'll as he could and
trying to look as if he had had a long
and tedious ride on the railroad, GIVE
got back at last, tired out, but awfully
glad to see you again" He expected
that she would rush into his arms, but
she did nothing of the kind. She looked
up at him severely with her tear
bedimmed eyes, but never moved.
"Ohl you deceitful wretch" she ex-
claimed, after she had gazed at him
until he felt as if he would like to sink
through the floor. "I never expected
this of you. Obi how could you? how
could youP" and again she burst into
tears. "Why, my darling, what's the
matter now?" asked he, determined to
stand his ground until he was sure that
she knew his secret. sI sup-up-pose
you too-ook in the tow-own last night !"
she sobbed. "I don't now what YOU
mean, my dear" said he, know as pale
as ghost. "You don to" replied his
wife, firing up. "I suppose you didn't
write this ?" and she presented to him
the note he had written to his friend
and which the bell-boy had delivered at
No. 1s5 instead of No. 285. He told his
friend the next day that when he started
out again to take business trip into
the country he'd have to take his wife
with him.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
RICH CoLoRED MEN IN VIRGINIA..

RICH COLORED HEN IN VIRGINLA.
Among the most prosperous colored
men in Richmond the following may be
instanced: The Rev. James Holmes,
said to be worth $4,000; Joseph E. Far
rar, master builder, $4,000; Abner
Cooley, master builder, $4,000; the
Rev. Richard Wells, $4,000; the Rev.
William Troy, $4,000; the Rev J.
Jasper, $5,OOO; G. Wilson, $4,000; J.
Turner & Sons, $4,000; Mr.. Hill,
$4,000; William Wilkeson, $1,000; Ben
jamin Smith, $4,000; Willis Wines,
$4,000; Earnest East, $4,000; William
B. Lyons, barber, $4,000; R. G. Hob
son, barber, $4,000. Most of this
money is invested in real estate In
Jackson ward there are more than one
hundred eolored people who own
property varying in value from 50, 800
$1,000, and about twenty in Man
chester, suburb of Richmond. One
of the finest residences in the city is
owned by DIR. Ferguson, Assistant
Superintendent of the Central Lunatic
Asylum. Many gentlemen conduct
successful businesses, grocery, dye, etc.
There are some thirty colored
teachers in and around Richmond.
Richmond supports fourteen colored
churches, mostly of the Baptist de-
nomination. -NeoU York Globe.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
NEW TRICK IN JOURNALISM.

Paris correspondence London Ne,cS :
By the mere fact of being subscriber
to the GaaGlois I suddenly find my life
insured for 92OO against railway, or
tram-car or other carriage accidents.
The management undertakes to pay the
amount in case of death on the pro-
duction Of the last receipt, and a pro-
portionable sum for injuries. The
purchaser of even a single number may
benefit by the arrangement if anything
happens to him during the day.
think this is very smart thing in jour
nalism. u
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
Fertile In Resources.

At recent dinner-party gentleman
was unfortunate enough to upset the
contents of his Burgundy glass into the
lap of his fair neighbor. The crimson
liquid ran down the entire front breadth
of her dress, which was delicate "ciel
bleu" satin, running it completely.
What did she doP Well, being of an
inventive turn of mind, she had the
front of the costume softly draped with
a silver gauze, through which the ruby
stain ON the blue ground shines with an
effect that is really charming. Every
body is curious to know where the odd
piece of watered satin was purchased.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
Guests and Their Entertainment.

One Of the evils of the day seeems to
be the decline of hospitality. By hos
pitaity I mean the hearty, cordial
welcome extended to the unexpected
guest. People nowadays would rather
entertain by the wholesale, SO to speak.
They invite society to their house once
a year, and then their duty to society is
done. Or state dinner is given on
state occasion, and everybody eats such
q variety of dishes with impronounce-
able names that their digestion is ruined
for week. Surely no one can claim
that this is enjoyable.
"But." one of my young friends ex.
claims, eve can't afford to entertain
constantly. Ny husband has onry So, 600
year-so our purse is not long en-
ough."
"My dear, I answered, "your grand
mother would have entertained the
President on $4,000 a year."
Never let an unexpected dinner make
you uncomfortable. I always hold the
theory that what is good enough for my
family is good enough for my guest, and
one of the pleasantest homes in which I
visit is that of young couple who live
on less than So, 900 year. Their house
is SO well managed that they can always
afford to give q hearty welcome to any
friend who comes, and, although going
in unexpectedly, I have sat down to
corn beef, cabbage and potatoes, with
fruit for dessert q hope they will for
give me for telling it,, and I can assure
you nothing could have been more ac-
ceptable. The plainest dinner, well
prepared, served on pretty china and
seasoned with everyday talk, is often
enjoyed and remembered.
[ think somewhere in my heart I have
soft spot for the youngsters just be-
ginning to travel life's path together.
There comes to my mind little poem
poetry and cooking! you will exclaim
well, never mind, it is apropos) tell
ing of the glee of merry girl on the
eve of marriage. Her grandmother was
trying to impose on her the fact that it
was "solemn thing" but she ex-
claimed, "'Tis solemner not to, grand
mamma" Then the grandmamma re-
views her life with its
Stockings to darn and bread to make,
Dishes to wash and cake to bake.
And then,
The music Of patteringfeet,
Grandpss kisses SO fond and sweet
Song and prattle the live-long day,
Joy and Kisses and love alwsy.
And at last she concludes as she drops a
tear that "'tis solemner not to-" and I
think the most of us will agree with her.
~-BOet0n Globe.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
SOap-Bub6te Parties and Badns;,.tora.

Among the newest fancies in fashion
able society are "soap-bubble parties. ="
They began in New York, and of course
found ready imitators at tee capital.
Like common parties and germans, they
afford ON OPT ortunity for the distribu-
tion Of gifts, which, unless conducted
with great delicacy and good taste,
quickly degenerate into vulgar exhibit
tions of wealth. At recent event Of
this peculiar kind the climax of the
evening was reached about II o'clock,
when a large china punch bowl filed
with soap suds was placed upon the cen
ter table of the rear parlors, the carpets
having been prudently screened with
linen, ostensibly for better convenience
in dancing. "Long nine" eighteen
clay pipes we're produced, and ali tried
to see who could blow the biggest bub-
BILE. Three trials we're granted each
person, but all whose bubbles burst were
compelled to desist. There were five
judges to estimate the size of the bub
bles and to award the prizes. which were
old KnickerboclHer pipes, placques and
other dainty souvenirs, to the successful
blowers. The fun was immense as rosy
bps and perfumed mustaches tried their
skill upon the "long nires.'
The exclusives of upper tendon, to
whom no diversion is in good style un-
less newly discovered by themselves,
have dropped lawn tennis as altogether
"boo common" and given it the gG-by,
with croquet and other games in which
the herd indulge.
Badminton is now the correct thing
for le creme de la creme, as il is compar-
stvely new In this country. It is played
with battIedore ond shuttlecock over a
net arranged as in lawn tennis. It is
more of lady's game than tennis prop
er, as it makes less demands upon the
muscles, but depends chiefly upon the
agility of the player. The coaching and
polo cliques are unanimous in adopting
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
ARLZONA LAW.
Justice That parqlu=ea the Tombstone B.

Justice That PdrdlySed the Tombstone Bns.
when [ was practising down at
Tombstone" said the lawyer, "a friend
of mine had his ear chewed Of one
evening III g. dispute with o prominent
citizen who dealt faro. After seeing
the doctor he came to me, and under
my advice he had the prominent citizen
arrested under charge of mayhem
Next day we had the man up for his
preliminary examination. My friend
was there, with his head bandaged, and
so were the prominent citizen and his
counsel and the friends of both parties.
The general public-and it's pretty
tough general public in Tombstone
crowded the courtroom. The hour
went by, but the Justice didn't turn
up. Finally, Gen. O'Brien, the leader
of the Tombstone bar, stuck his head
up through trap-door in the floor and
said, in his solemn way:
Gentlemen, remove your hats. His
Honor is here And he dragged the
court up by the collar. He was timber
drunk, and had been sleeping it off in
the cellar. You never saw such a long
adjournment from decency as that orna-
ment of the bench was. A bath and q
shampoo brought back some life to
him, and he was able to walk without
help to the courtroom. Once in the
chair behind his high desk, he looked
all right, and we went on with the case.
We had taken the testimony of three
witnesses to the row and subsequent
chewing of my friends ear in the Ex-
celslor faro parlors, when Gen. O'Brien
and Col. Stephens, both on the other
side, jumped up and objected to one of
my questions. It was law point, and
we argued and quoted authorities for
about half an hour. It was q pretty
hot set-to, and we we're all on our feet
when we finished and turned round to
the court for ruling. He was looking
straight before him up above US, as if
he was sleeping with his eyes open.
Your Honor said the General,
after long pause, we are waiting for
your rnling.'
''There was no answer. Then 1
ehipped in with:
"'Your Honor, will you be good
enough to give us your ruling?'
Wash tha?' he said, trying to bring
his eyes to bear upon me.
We want your ruling
Courts a'journed,' he said, trying
to rise.
eve all protested, but his only
answer was to strike his desk with his
fist and cry out again that the court
was adjourned.
Won't you fix the bail of this de-
fendant p demanded the General.
No, shir,' said the court, who had
got on his feet by this time, and was
frowning heavily. Turn i'm loose.
He'd oughter chawed the head off that
tenderfoot, that's what he'd oughter
done
"Well, gentlemen, what do you think
the court did next? He just deliber-
ately staggered over to the trap-door,
Lifted it, stepped down the stairs until
only his head and shoulders were above
the floor, and then, pausing to glare at
the paralyzed crowd of us, growled
out:
'Yeh can all go to -
with that he ducked and let the
door fall, and I suppose had his sleep
out on the dirty floor of the cellar"
Daily globe., 1883-08-26

AUNT JANE came down from Vermont
to visit Boston for the first time. Dur
ing fire in her vicinity on the third
night after her arrival, the fremen's cry
for "more hose" aroused her from
peaceful slumber, and, like philan-
thropist who had no waste timber in her
heart, she threw out of the window all
but three pairs of her best woolen stock
ings.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26

R1OpsJ NO, 1ORuCQ u4O uOdl R0u"
tleman; "no, she is not, but she will
be when her father dies"
CoNyuaA1 amenities: He-"My dar-
ling, I really believe my rheumatism has
wholly disappeared" She-"Oh, I am
so sorryl Now we shall never know
when the weather is going to change"
A WISCONSIN woman who was lost in
the woods for three days says she didn't
suffer SO very much, but greatly an
noyed by her absence of mind IN not
bringing along small looking glass.
SNooKs went home the other night af-
ficted with double vision. He sat for
some time with his sleepy gaze riveted
on Mrs. Snooks, and then complacently
remarked: "Well, I declare, f you two
gals don't look 'nough like to be twins. +"
SAID married woman to the man she
was flirting with "Come round and
take dinner tomorrow. My husband
won't be there. I'll just remark in the
morning that Il think III hcgip hnu=
cleaning to-day and be won't ap2e r
around the house before night"
"WHY do you suppose Rev. John, ~
Reed is always driving over to 5m,tu-
ville?" asked one gentleman of another.
ellis wife says he goes over to admire
the beauty of the place, was the reply.
eyes, but does his wife know the beauty
ef the place is o young widow?"
BEND my knees in the sand;
My heart-she has gone before:
The print Of her foot is before me, and
measure it o'er and DER.
Look, how the lines OF strength
Cross it from side to side;
just short eighteen inches in length
And eight and three-quarters wide
TWENTY years ago Louisville MN
swore that he would never marry until
women should acquire sufficient good
manners not to go abreast over a cross
ing, and not to occupy the entire width
of the sidewalk. The horrid wretch is
still single. Journal.
A LITTLE kiss,
A little bliss,
A little ring-it's ended.
A little Jaw,
a little law,
And 10! the bonds are rended.
CRIES Sylvia to a reverend dean,
"What reason can be given,
Since marriage is holy thing,
That there are none in heaven ?"
"There are no wo nen,' he replied.
She quick returns the jest;
"Women there are; but m afraid
They cannot find priest"
-Dodslsy.
Is IT becoming to me?" asked she,
as she paraded in the costume of 100
years ago, before the man who is not
her lord and master, but is her hus-
band. eyes, my DEAR" said he, meek
ly. "Don't you wish I could dress this
way all the time?" she asked. "No,
my dear" he replied; "but wish you
had lived when that was the style"
"PM proud of this town." said a little
man, sitting before the stove, with a
pipe In his mouth. "Proud OF it p re-
peated the stranger at the bar, who
turned as he heard the words and gazed
at the speaker with look of contempt.
What are you proud of it for?'
"That's an easy one, returned the little
man. There are four cemeteries here.
and I've got wife into every one Of
'em."
Daily globe., 1883-08-26

pickle is cold and the sediment has
settled dip or draw the liquid off into
the eask in which the eggs are to be
preserved. When only few eggs are
to be picked stone jar will answer.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
SWEARING By PROXY.

A Duluth lady was passing along the
street when some fiend in an upper
window threw out bucket of slops,
deluging her from head to foot. Wip-
ing the greasy stuff from her face and
neck, she turned to a crowd of men,
and, with clenched teeth, said: "Oh,
goodness Won't one of you gentle
men please swear for me? Oh, please
dol"
Daily globe., 1883-08-26

WE should often have reason to be
ashamed of our most brilliant actions, if
the world could see the motives from
which thev spring. g.-ROchefoytcnuLd.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26

"WHY do you go to those 1ow-down
resorts = asked one man of another. "I
go to study character, " 49,; II .ile reuiv.
well, all I have to say is, that it would
be a greater study to discover any char
acter in the frequenter of such places
than to studyit after you have found it."
The Drummer,
Daily globe., 1883-08-26

THE good die young. The bad have
5o lie about the weather. and are spoken
of as the Oldest inhabitants.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
WOMAN GOSSIP.
a Filtration.

s.. ~~~--~
~ Il Flirtatie1s.
"
i 80, A girl,
= A whirl,
~2 A dance,
A glance,
Some coy, coquettsh trihipg.
A walk,
A talk,
Some sweet
Retreat,
Apensiye sigh half sitting.
4 gate,
Quite late,
Oh, bliss,
A kiss,
What would my mamma say, sir?"
A thick
Ash stick,
A whack,
eDn' Ny back.
"You're getting quite too gay, SIR"
Daily globe., 1883-08-26
ERLENDSRTP,S TIE.

"The prisoner was a friend of NINE"
said the witness in answer to question
of the counsel for the prosecution.
"Do you desire the court and jury to
believe that you are well acquainted
with him?"
"No; can't say that I am
well, what are we to understand
then by the statement that he was a
friend of yours?'
@Just this" continued the witness;
he borrowed S. of me once and never
returned it."
"Do you consider that an evidence of
friendship?"
II do. If he had paid it back, he
would have wanted to borrow SO
more. "-Brookly11 Eagle.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26

AMONG birds the rooster is an early
riser, and then comes the crow.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26

The 217 native papers of India are
trying to form press association.
Daily globe., 1883-08-26

1eh can all go to -.
with that he ducked and let the
door fall, and I suppose had his sleep
out on the dirty floor of the cellar"