The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-03-22
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

To stand on ones head is the most
difficult feat one can perform on the ice,
and vet the new skater always tries to do
it.
A filthy man, with filthy hands, milk
ing filthy COW. in filthy stable, into
filthy pail is the perfection of filth
Harris Lewis.
A standard musical pitch is advocated
by the musicians. They want some
thing which everybody will stick to-
Lowell Courier.
Handsome tides are placed on satin
covered sofas, not so much as edaran-
tee Of good faith as to cover up the spot
that is worn through Puck.
Poems from an Editors Table" has
reached its tenth edition. The poems
from the EDITORS waste basket have
reached their tenth millionth thousand.
Hereafter we shall be like the bankers
A man without credit can get no ex-
change Baltimore Every Saturday.
1t is the only way to stop journalistic
piratipg.
Thank heaven exclaimed a fond
parent as he paced the floor ut midnight
with his bowling heir. "thank heaven.
you are not twins"-N. Y. Commercial
Advertiser.
Inquirer: No; we don't believe in
taking the bull by the horns. We
tried taking goat by the horns once.
and that was excitement enough for US.
- Boston Post.
Patti says that while in bed at her no.
tel she was bitten by mouse. Perhaps
it was not a mouse, Patti. Try rubbing
the woodwork of your couch with kero-
sene.-I Phil. News.
Butler's first step in reform, after be-
ing inaugurated, was to discontinue his
subscription to Democratic paper. No
better proof of his sincerity in the move
ment could be gwen Norristown Her
sid.
Don't you find it hurts your lawn to
let your children play on it?" asked a
friend OF q suburban the other day.
YES" answered the gentleman ad-
dressed, but it doesn't hurt the chill
dren."
They say that the private secretary OF
the Chinese Minister at Washington was
asked at an afternoon tea if he would
take one or two Jumps OF sugar in his
cup. ne replIeu. ~ sugar nv SAooh'
one spoon
Gen. Sherman kisses every girl to
whom he is introduced. Tecumseh al
ways was reckless cuss, much given to
cutting away from his base and depend
ing on the country for his supplies as he
went along Burlington Hawkeye.
One Chicago pawnshop has loaned
money on 1900 revolvers during the past
year. This will go far toward explain
ing why the criminal classes of Chicago
now use sandbags on their victims. They
have not yet redeemed their revolvers.-
Norristown Herald.
4 poem entitled The Death of Oliver
Cromwell" is going the rounds of the
press. divers many friends in this
town will be panied to hear of his death
and their grief will be intensified when
we tell them that the poem is nearly half
a column long Norristown Herald.
Little Emily's cute catch: Uncle
John, said little Emily. ''do you know
that baby that was fed on elephants
milk gained twenty pounds in one week."
Nonsense, impossible," exclaimed I'm
c'e John, and then he asked: Whose
baby was it?" The elephants" said
the little glrl.
Sabbath school teacher to small boy)
-" Well, my boy, what is time?' Boy
-"Ah dinna ken, sir, but a think it
maun be sort o bird" Teacher
What makes you think time is bird ?"
Boy" Cos last Sunday nicht, when tho
bell rang to stop, you said time flies.
Glasgow Bailie.
sharp controversy is rigging between
three of the most respectable religious
papers as to whether it is right or wrong
under any circumstances to tell a lie.
One or two of these papers have carried
the discussion so far as to accuse each
other of unfairly twisting each Others
staten ents. and almost of lying