The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1883-12-12
CALlNIsM AT THE RINK.

CAL1NISM AT THE RINK.
Said I, "Cantankerous" Il Away
call her cantankerous when I'm il
joyful moods, because she Away
agrees with me over the lefty, Can
tankerous, let's 90 to the rink te
night"
"To-the rink" she exclaimed
Ito the rink! What! I, a Presbyte
rian I"
"Why not ?" said I, "is the rim
too good for your"
Said she cher real name Is Malvin
ia). said she, "Vesuvius, a Presbyte
rian is too good for the rink. Ho,
would I feel upon my death-bed
obliged to recur to the fact that
went to the rink this night 2"
Upon your death-bed." said
"why you needn't do it," said
"It's my opinion that You will b
mainly bothered at that time with
pain or over the thought that II
have a good time"
"Vesuvius" she solemnly ex
claimed, "you are worse than a brute
go down to ruin as you please, but
must make my calling and election
sure"
Said I, "That's just it. If YOUR
half the Presbyterian you think yot
are. you know you were elected be
fore you were born, and going to thu
rink. or not going to the rink will
make no difference. If you are to b
dam"
"John Vesuvius! how dare your
"Malvinia. I've no desire to be pro.
fame; but that scandalous catechism
you've got in the l.arlor says that
everything was fore-ordained-if so,
you'll 90 to h"
"John Vesuvius! don't you dare
to finish that remark-if you do
I'n-"
"See here, Malvinia," said I, get
ting up my dander, "See here,
you're either a Presbyterian or you
are not a Presbyterian. If you are a
Presbyterian you knew perfectly
we'll, as a Presbyterian that your fate
Is sealed and that you can't change
it, no matter what you do or what
you don't do. So, put on your hat
and let's 60 to the rink"
She just glared at me. Butt could
see her edging toward the bureau
where she kept her things. Now
she's perfectly sincere - she was
brought up on a STRAIGHTFORWARD
chair in Connecticut, and she can't
get over it. But she saw I meant to
go, and so she concluded she'd 60 too.
As we went out by the gate, I
slipped on an orange peel and went
down with a whop in the mud. AT
ter 1 had expressed my opinion of the
mud and the orange peel and the boy
that left it there, Remarked "Now,
some people would cuss that orange
peel and haste the brat who dropped
it-but a Presbyterian wouldn't. A
Presbyterian would getup aid smile
and walk along without a word. OF
course he would don't a Presbyte
rian know that it was ordained be-
fore Adam was born that orange
peel should be LETT in front of our
gate? So what's the use ofs Presby-
terrain getting mad?"
Just then we arrived at the rink.
and as we went in I remarked, "See
here, NAL, it was ordained that you
come to this rink this night,
80 put on your skates and pitch in!
you're elected, fill the Office"
The place was full. Skating was
IN progress at a furious rate; and
500 , Malvinia had the skates on and
was wheeling around like any other
person. But presently down she
is if a woman who sud-
lenly stands on her head and throws
aer legs into the air can be said to be
Town. Malvinia got up mad. Why
10? If it had been ordained. from a
Presbyterian point of view, that she
throw herself in the manner
why, from a Presbyterian
'oint of view, should she get mad?
low could she get mad Presbyterian
cally l wish to know? She had to
~ in the face of decency.
What right then had she to fly in the
ace of fate from a Presbyterian
'oint of view and make herself an
yesore to the catechism? Didn't she
ave to go to the rink? didn't she
ave to skate and fall down Tor up)
make herself the talk of the
own?
So I went and picked her up, and
3 I balanced her upon her feet I re-
larked: ut had to be-"
AS we went home she wondered if
ae had shown her stockings. Said
"You most emphatically did; but
ou couldn't help it; for long before
.braham it was (from a Presbyterian
oint of view ordained not only that
ou should show them tonight, but
lat they should be that disgraceful
d pair I've asked you 1000 times TO
row away"
"John Vesuvius," said she, "John
esuvius, you are as vulgar as you
Q profane, and it's a wonder an
rfhr,,oho lo~Dt ~-.ol.- 80