Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1883-01-04
SWEARING OFF SMOKING.
A STORY FOR THOSE INTENDING TO RE
NoUNCE BAD HABITS ON JAN. /.

| NOUNCH BAD HABITS On JAN. i.
my dear" said Mr.. Spoopendyke
running his hair around over his head
and gazing at himself in the glass
my dear, do you know l think
smoke too much2 1t doesn't agree
With me at all. "
Just what | have always thought, y
chimed Mrs Spoopendyke, and, be,
side, it makes the room smell 20. You
know this room"
"Im not talking about this room, v
retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke, with a
snort I'm not aware that it affects
the health of this room. I'm talking
about my health this trip, and think
I'll break off short. You don't catch
me smoking any more" and Spoopen-
dyke yawned and stretched himself,
and pumped himself down in his
chair and glared out the window at
the rain.
How are you going to break off r.
inquired Mrs. Spoopendyke, drawing
up her sewing chair and gazing up in
to her husbands face adniringly. 81
suppose the best way is not to think OF
il at all
The best way is for you to sit there
and cackle about it," growled Mr..
Spoope. e..dyke.
II anything will direct my atten.
ton from it that will Can't you think
of something else to talk aboutl Don't
ye know some subject that don't smell
like a tobacco plantationl"
Certainly" cooed Mrs. Spoopen
dyke, rather non-plussed. I'VE might
talk about the rain. j suppose this i,
really the equinox. How long will il
last, dear?"
Dog CAST the equinox! sputterec
Mr. Spoopendyke. Don't you know
that when man quits smoking it,
depressing things; and nOw's the tim,
10 make 'em cheerful. IL ye dom
know any cheerful things, keep quiet
"Of course" asscnted Mrs Spoop
endyke, you want subjects that vii
draw your attention away fiom tn,
habit Of smoking. like you used To. -
Won't il be nice when the long winte
evenings come, and the fire is lighted
and you have your slippers and pa
per"
That's just the time / want ci
gar. - roared Mr. Spoopendyke, bound
ing around in his chair and scowlin,
at his wife. Amt ye got sense enough
to shingle your tongue for minute
The way you're keeping it up, you'll
drive me back TO my habit i'm less n al
hour" lie continued solennly, ian,
then my blood be ON your head"
"Oh, dear" sighed Mrs Spoopen
dyke, II didn't mean to. Did yo,
notice about the comet2 they say 1t
- going TO drop into the sun and bur
n up"
. There you go again" yelled MI
. Spoopendyke. You can't open you
measly mouth without suggestin
something that breaks me down; wha
n dye want to talk about fire for? VIII
u wants fire when he stops smokingl tw
q minutes more and I'll have pipe i
n my mouth" and Mr. Spoopendyk
" groaned dismally in contemplation c
il the prospect.
I'm glad you're going TO stay hon
u to day" continued Mrs. Spoopendyk
soothingly. You'd be sure to cate
'S cold if you went out; and by and b
we'll have piping hot dinner"
4 That's it! sqpealed Mr.. Spooper
,e dyke, bounding out of his chair an
bounding around the room. q" You
o. got to say something about pipe!
knew how it'd bel You want Inc [
die You want Inc to smoke myseI
ID ID into an early grave! You'll feirh il
Don't give yourself any unoasiness
H. You're on the track" and Mr. Spooy
endyke buried his face in his hanC
and shook convulsively.
II meant it for the best, dear, mu
y INJURED Mrs. Spoopendyke. 81 though
: was drawing"
:; That's it," ripped Mr.. Spoopel
u dyke. " Drawing You've drive
d me to it instead Of keeping me from i
;. You know how it's done. All you nee
'e now is lightning-rod and lash {
lie milk toast TO be an incbriate's hom,
y Where's that cigar | left here on IL
o mantel! Gimme my d-ath Warrant
I" Show me my imported doom! Ora
- forth my miniature coffin!" and NJ
r. Spoopendyke swept the contents {
F. shelf and howled dismally.
- Isn't that itl" asked Mrs SpooI
endyke, pointing to n small pile
" snuff on the chair in which Mr.. Spoo
g. endyke had been sitting
O. THAT looks like it,.
H. "What! yelled Mr.. Spoopendyk
- as he grasped his hat and made for Il
T. door. Another time swear off, yc
D. go around into the country, you hear
III and Mr.. Spookendyke dashed out
$: the house, steering for the nearest &
Id bacc) shop.
III Il don't care. muttered Mrs. Spoo
xe endyke; when he swears off again
C. AIN willing to leave. and i'm the meat
2. time | suppose he'll be healthier WIT
out his pipe. so I'll hang it up on Il
- wall where he'll never think OF lookir
for IL. and haNi ing consigned the I
bacco 20 the flames, Mrs. Spoopendyl
gathered her sewing materials arour
or her aud double -clinched an old res