Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-10-17
HUMOROUS AND PACT.
The Sweet Girl Graduates.

The Sweet Girl Graduates,
Soon the b,ushing, blooming girls,
With their frizzes bangs and curls
In their graduating dresses made of tulle, tulle
tule.
And the Johnnies, Jims and Jesses
viii come out and lisp their essays,
And forever bid farewell to work of school school
school.
They drop their verbs and history,
Their science and Its mystery,
And finished out TO battle with the world they'll
90, go, go,
For their ignorance diminished
They call education finished
And they tremble when they think Of all they know
know, know. -flnter. Ocean
Nothing is more dangerous than friend
without discretion even prudent enemy
is preferable.
A Catholic church seating 1000 persons
and constructed entirely of papier mache
has recently been completed in Bavaria.
One of the best rules in conversation is
never to say a thing which any of the
company can reasonably wish he had left
unsaid.
Sir Walter Raleigh made his way to fort.
une and fame by politeness. He was not
one of the Elizabethan ruffs. Boston
commercial Bulletin.
The popular game in Indiana is betting
on the weight of a stranger. The said
stranger has lead jacket under his coat,
and his pal rakes in heap of money!
Detroit Free Press.
I" Poor creatures p exclaimed Mrs. Gros-
grain, looking at the pictures of nude
savage women mo clothing of any kind.
1 wonder what the poor things have to
talk about. y Boston Transcript.
One of the most trying moments of q
mans life is when he is getting his picture
taken to send to his best girl, and is Just
assuming his most angelic expression, and
a fly alights on his nose Williamsport
Grit.
In France bachelors have to serve in the
army twice as long as married men. And
those same bachelors, after they do get
married, often sigh for the comparatively
peaceful life of soldier, and wish they
were back.
A lady who had fer years been compress
ing No. 6 foot into No. 2 shoe died re
Gently from gangrene of the pedal extrem-
ities The Coroner's jury returned YER
dict of "died from the effects of fit. -
THE Judge.
The New York World says Vanderbilt is
an" accidental millionaire" Please send
US at once explicit directions as to where
the accident occurred and the time the
first train leaves for the place. Pniladel-
phia News.
Droll: The spectacle of the Democratic
party, which doesn't know how it stands
on the tariff in such State as New York,
presuming that it is equal to the task of
running the National Government. II New
York Tribune.
Says correspondent, speaking of modern
French furnishing: 81 find innumerable
instances of armchairs covered with two
sorts of material" Isn't it about time
that these filings at courtship were done
with > Boston Transcript.
The following is inscribed on the tomb
stone of grave in Ohio: /" Here lies John
Smith. He never sought an office" Could
any tribute to the greatness and goodness
of mans life be more eloquent that that?
philadelphia Call. Could another such
epitaph be found in Ohio II Hartford
Post.
One of the letters of introduction that
Miss Kate Field brought to Denver, says
the Republican Of that city, was from Sir
Charles Dixie to Judge McCurdy. She
sent a note to the Windsor Hotel office,
asking where the Judge could be found.
The answer came back Don't know
he's been dead eight years"
Conclusive proof: "What makes You
think your father was crazy at the time OF
l. l. L. L.
Judge of witness in contested will case.
Because" answered the young man,
promptly, "my father was dyed. in-the-
wool Democrat and he was always talking
about the necessity of running the old
ticket again. = Brooklyn Eagle
1t will be with great many of US as it
was with old Hans in the dream. He
dreamed that he was at the bar of justice
trying to find some good reason why he
should not take his place with the goats,
when the Lord took pity on him and said
Well, Hans, you may 60 over dere on de
right, NIT de sheep, but l want you to IN.
derstand dat it's mighty tight squeeze"
An English writer proposes that his
countrymen raise their own tea, and dis
continue the use of the adultersted product
now imported from China. He has found
that an infusion of the leaves of Chimond,a.
thus tragrans, shrub which has been &C.
climatizsd in England for eighty years,
forms an excellent beverage resembling
" the best green tea without any Chinese
dirt mixed with it.
NJ. H. Dement,, stenographer and jour
nalist has for some time been engaged in de-
veloping machine, similar in plan to
typewriter, to dispense with type.setting.
He proposes by the machine to make type
indentations in strips of papier.mache from
which electrotypes or stereotypes will be
taken. This would certainly work won
derful revolution in printing offices. What
next 1.-THE Exponent.