Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-07-18

Peck's Sun
Probably the most trying experience
President Arthur has had since be ha
filed the executive chair vas in enter
tanning delegation from Boston tenn
perance alliance, on his return from
Florida The delegation consisted o.
half dozen dried up men with blu
spectacies and umbrellas, and seveva
ancient females who looked as though
they could never endure a man vhs
touched or tasted any intoxicating bev-
erage. They had an appointment q
meet the President, to talk with hin
absut the cause OF temperance, which
was dear to their heartA He vas jus
back from his fshine excursion, and a
he pot some cold cream on q place OF
his nose where the akin had come Of
preparatory TO going into the blue rooz
to meet the delegation, his servant sale
to him, Mr.. President ! would rathe
you would meet any other delegation OF
earth than this Temperance crowd
They have come to size you up and Sc.
if the reports that you steam il too muct
are true, and your nose and face are q
dead give away. None of the delegation
probably ever vent fishing, and il vii
Be hard 70 convince them that the bills
tefs and sunburn are not the result OF
looking upon the wine. Sow, the frs
thing you do, when you meet them, yot
apologize for your appearance and tall
about fishing in the hot sun, and al
that"
The President felt a little nervous
but after throwing his cigar stub away
he went into the room where the dele
cation was, looking like boiled lobster
The delegation was drawn up in linz
and every eye vas on his nose. The
leader made few remarks upon the Oh
jet OF their visit, and while he val
speaking the women looked at each othel
as much as to.say, Il told you &C" "Whal
disgusting exhibition" ETC., and the
President blushed until you could have
touched match to his face anywhere
When the leader had concluded, thu
President said:
Ladies and gentlemen:-Glad as
am to Sec SO distinguished a party,
must apologize for my appearance. The
fact OF 1t Is, few of us have been In
dulgiug in little"
Don't apologize. Mr.. President
said q vinegar faced female. 1--WE can
readily take in the situation by your
face. Ii Is duty We owe to ourselves
and the country to reason With you
Strong drink is the bane of our land
y, why, why, will men put a serpent in
their mouths to steal away"
but, excuse me, madame" said the
President, interrupting the female
you are mistaken. The direct cause
OF this sanguinary appearance Of my
face and nose Is owing to q little recrea-
ton" and he rubbed his nose With his
finger to see If any more akin was loose.
Chandler and q lot Of Us who had been
bottled up here for many months, de-
cided to imbibe little of tn"
II beg pardon" said one of the blue
nosed gentlemen, I'VE do not care for
any confession as to what you and
Chandler imbibed. We feel that a few
words from rs can do no harm, and
while 1t may seem out of place for pri-
vate citizens to advise a chief maQis-
trate. our position as Temperance peo-
pie makes rs bold to ask you to Danish
the wine cup from your table, and set
an example that can safely be followed
BY the youth Of the land"
During the talk of the blue-nosed
man the President swallowed bit of
tobacco that had remained in his mouth
from bis cigar, and began to hiccoueh.
You know how little tobacco will
sometimes cause man to act as though
he was full. The President would al
most have given his right hand il the
tobacco was in Hades instead of down
his neck, for he could see at the first
"hic'' that every eye in the delegation
vas on him, and all believed he was
drunk. His face flushed, and he was
more embarrassed than he had ever
been before in his life. He looked
around for some one to help him out,
but he was alone, except the temper
ance delegation. Putting his hand over
his mouth to hide the hiccough that the
wicked tobacco had caused, he said:
"Imbibing desire to 10 fishing, Mr..
Chandler and myself visited Florida.
and for several days We were exposed to
the elements and became sunburnt. and
you (hic) miscOnstrue my appearance
to be the result of (hic) drink. The
hiccough is the result of swallowing q
bit of tobacco. and is unfortunate in
coming at this time. I will weigh we'll
what You have said, and now bid you
lhic) good day." and the President
bowed aid retired. while the delegation
looked about the room, and sai0 TO each
other that they had witnessed sight
that would cause the stoutest heart to
quail, and they went out Of the White
House sick at heart. James" said the
President to his servant when be got to
his room. go to DIR. Bliss, and tell him
/ wish / were dead, and want him to
come and attend me. Tell him to bring
something that will cure sunburn and
b'isters on the nose at once, or am Q
ruined man." and ss James went out
after the doctor the President saturated
handkerchief in some cooling liquid
and laid it over his face, and lay upon q
lounge, and dreamed of the Florida 6sh
and how like blazes they bit, ard how
the mosquitoes got in their work, and
as he dozed OF into the land Of dreams
he could zee the air full of female tenn
perauce reformers with blue spectacles
and umbrellas, and he thought how u
good man is sometimes misunderstood.