Mohave County miner., 1883-04-01
The Sanitary Association Boy.

. who collects garbage in the alley.
 "Oh, they are searching for sewe gas and such things, and they hav
 plumbers and other society expert till they can't rest, and I came ava,
 for fear they would the sewer gas ant
 warm my jacket. Say, do you thinl
 1t is right, when anything smells aw
 fully, to always lay it to boy?"
 "Well, in nine cases out of ten they
 would hit it right. But what do yoy
 think is the trouble over to youl
 house, honest?"
 "S-h-h! Now don't breathe wort
 of it to living soul, or I am a deaC
 boy. You see I was over to the dairy
 fair at the exposition building or Saturday night; and when they were breaking up, me and my chum helped to carry the boxes of cheese and fir kins of butter; and a cheese man gave each of us q pIece of limburger cheese wrapped up in tin foil. Sun
 day morning opened my piece and it made me tired. Oh. it was the ofulest smell I ever heard of. except the smell when they found tramp who hung himself in the woods on the Whitefsh Bay Road and had been dead three weeks. It was just like an old back number funeral Pa and n-a were just ready to go to church, and I cut off q piece of cheese and put 1t in the inside pocket of pas vest, and put another in the lining of mas huff; and they went to church. 1 went to church, too, and sat on a back seat with my chum, looking just as plous as though 1 was taking upa collection. The church was pretty warm, and by the time they got up to sing the first hymn, pas cheese began to smell a match against mas cheese. Pa held one side of the hymn book and ma held the other, and pa he always sings for all that is out, and when he brRced himself and sang"Just as I am," ma thought pas voice was tinctured with biliousness, and she looked at hlm and hunched him and told him 10 stop singing and breathe through his nose cause his breath was enough to stop clock. Pa stopped singing and turned around kind of cross to- ward ma, and then he smelled mas cheese, and turned his head the other way and said "whew'', and they didn't sing any morei but they look ed at each other as though they smel led frowsy. When they sat down they sat as far apart as they could get, and pa sat next to a woman who used to be nurse in hospital, and when she smelled pas cheese she looked at him as though she thought | he had the smallpox; and she held | her handkerchief to her nose. The man in the other erd of the pew that ma sat near, he was a stranger from Racine who belongs to our church, and he looked at ma kind of queer, and after the minister prayed and they got up to sing again, the man took his hat and went out, and when he came by me he said something in B whisper about female glue fac tory, Well, sir, before the sermon was over everybody in that part of the church had their handkerchiefs to their noses, and they looked at pa and ma scandalous, and the two lshers they came around in the pews looking for dog; and when the min ster got over his sermon, and wiped he precipitation of his face, he said le would like to have the trustees of the church stay after he meeting, as there was business of to transact. He said the question of proper ventilation and sewerage of the church would be up, and that he presumed he congregation noticed this morn ng that the church was unusually .ull of sewer gas. He said he had jpoken Of the matter before, and had expected it would be attended to be- ore this. He said he was meek md humble follower of the lamb, md was willing to cast his lot wherever the Master decided, but he would be blessed if he would preach { my longer in church that smelled ike bone boiling establishment. He said religion was a good thing, ut no person cauld enjoy religion as yell in a fat rending establishment IS he could in a flower garden; and IS far as he was concerned he had got enough. Everybody looked at I else, and pa looked at ma