National Republican., 1883-03-13
GENERAL GOSSIP.

was IL lnOmpsOn OF JOnllSollt OF bhtebI
Did you murder your wife
Aud then flee for your life2
Oh what was your name in the states7
Ofcourse sir, we all understand
You say you are William g. Bates.
From New Hampshire you came overland,
But-what was your name in the states2
CHo.--Ohl what was your name, &c.
Your Features are handsome It's true,
With luck you are blessed by the Fates,
Your clothing is costly and new,
But-what was your name In the states?
CHo-Ohl what was your name, Sc.
You may be an angel that's so,
Just slipped through the heavenly gates,
But still we are anxious to know
Just what was your name in the states.
CHo.-Ohl what was your name, DC.
hope no one will doubt that sign this lust ns
would If 1 were in the states.-StaHtcy Wood in
The Denver Inter Ocean.
FOXES are said to be multiplying very rap
idly in the Kentucky blue grass country after
having been almost unknown for many years.
THE boys in Delaware county, Ponnsylva-
mia, are going for the English sparrows under the
stimulus of u reward of two and half cents per
head offered by the authorities.
A WOMAN arrested for begging in New Or
leans had Sl7O on her person. When the money
was discovered she was honorably discharged,
with profiso apologies es--Rochester Express.
The Now York house painters are get
ting $3.50 day. If the New York house painters
have the receipt for reducing oil paint with
water, they can now go ahead with the ornamen-
tation.
A MAN has just died in Brooklyn whose
sole title to fame lies in the fact that he was the
foreman of the jury that sat through tho Beecher
trial. II is enough to obtain mention in the
papers, however.
A YOUNG man in love has as much patience
as n cat, and that's saying good deal when we
remember that n cat Will set upon the backyard
fence and sing Maria i" for six weeks at Il timo
when he feels lonely.
/ THE male residents of Jerusalem on arising
in the morning thank God they were not born
women. Their mothers must feel very sorry that
they are not able to thank God for the same rea-
son.-Rochester Post Express.
A NEW Georgia paper edited by "Old ST."
OF the Atlanta Constitution, puts up the following
motto; "Never in war, always at peace. amt
anxious to be in the pockets of his countrymon"
The paper is named The Major.
Poor kin and the drafted children Aris-
tocratlc ma, chatting with aristocratio visitor is
interrupted by two little daughters running In
"Oh, ma! ma! we've just seen uncle Jim He's
upon wagon, hollsrin' 'Barl'sp"
MUHLENBURG county, Kentucky, has q
pig with the right hind leg at least one third
shorter than the remaining three, with the foot
precisely like that of a dog eyes like cat and n
horn similar to that of rhinoceros where the
snout should be-
The Boston Post believes that the idea of
having state capitals in large cities is all wrong
" Have 'em in small towns" the Postsays, "where
hotels are bad, variety shows scarce aud most Of
the girls homely. Then you'll get short sessions
and quick adlournments,"
AWAKE me up, darling, tonight, and give
me toddy," said an Austin inebrate to his
wife as they were about to retire for the night.
But how will l know when you want one?'
"You can't make mistake. am always thirsty
when am woke up."-Itras SUtings
A SPRINGFIELD Sunday school boy caused
momentary sensation last week because of this
speech which he made as he rendered his usua
contribution: Here's my penny. Father hadn't
any, and mother hadn't, so took this out of the
yeast cup. was bound to bring one, even If we
had to go without yeast."-GIdd Tidings
THIS from Life bears the title "Where
They Grow:" Small boy OF docking over picture
book with boy of 10)-Whats that? S. b. of 10
Why, don't you know? That's donkey. Haven't
you ever seen donkey? s. b. of s (doubtiully)-
No. S. b. of 10 (patronizngly)-Why have; lots
Of 'em-in the theological gardens you know.
AN ICullH cure comes 1FOnl
Gllroy, Cal. maiden Of that place, whose con-
stitutlon had been hurt by too much devotion to
the piano and tile painting, was induced by her
mother TO engage in hunting squirrels, the reward
offered being 10 cents u scalp. Last week she
slaughtered elghty-iive squirrels and the outdoor
exercise demanded is restoring her health.
A LONDON correspondent, writing of the
Prince of Wales ut Cannes and Nice last month,
says; =" The friends with whom he consorted were
hi g.n, Dos. IL saE
cans, being strangers TO royalty in theirown coun-
try, are not so observant as other people of the
somewhat stiff ceremonial that is proper in inter-
course with princes that the heir apparent is so
fond of the company Of the citizens of the United
States, BE this as 1t may the iact that he genera
ally associates with Americans when on the con.
tinent is not to be denied"
The success of tho Mormon church in
securing the balance OF power in Idaho, and con-
trolling legislation in that territory, has caused
the leaders to turn their attention to Arizona
where small colonies have already been planted
and larger ones are in contemplation. 1t is under
stood that orders have been given for 500 families
to leave for that territory on the first of March,
They are to be sent from the various settlements
of Utah, and their places are TO bo filed by the
foreign immigration expected in April. To seize
and possess the Rocky mountain country is the
determination Of the Mormon church, and IL Ia
making rapid strides in that direction.
The late Prof. Gibson used to tell good
anecdote in regard to luxaton of the jaw "An
old and quite wealthy man came into the office of
a surgeon with a luxation Of the jaw, and made
motions to have itreduced, The Jaw was reduced,
and Oh being asked the fec the doctor mentioned
an amount which the man regarded as entirely
too much, and insisted upon 1t being reduced one
half The surgeon said no more about the fee,
but began to talk aud pretty soon told Il laugh
able story. The man began 10 laugh heartily,
and out went the jaw. He again made signs TO
have 1t reduced but the doctor said, When you
pay down my fee viii put in your jaw.'
THE razor business in Sheffield is very
brisk. The "spurt' began just before the Egyp-
tlan war when an examination of the soldies'
kits revealed the fact that they were deficient in
razos. A large firm in Sheffield were asked to
furnish the government several thousand razorJ
of the army patent within certain time. The
price to be paid was about ten cents piece, aud
the forgers were paid three pence dozen TO set
the work out in time. Then brisk demand arose
IN America for hollow back razors. Another style
of razor which has large sale in America is loose
In the blade, which can suddenly be thrown back.
The Times says that this kind Of razor is sold al
most exclusively to negroes and Is used In
razor fights" The making of razors is spec-
ialty of Sheffield manufacturers the Sheffield
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