The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1883-08-18
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

| SptHS'hheH VI NNb Aho hP VI
dogs tail.
Gould ye lind me the loan Of .
pipe and tobacky2" said Pat; Il have Q
match"
A barefoote1 little boy stepped on
Dee. and soon after said to his mother
MA, I didn't know that bees had splin.
ters in their tailsl'
1t is said that onions will keep the
lips from cbappinQ. 1t will certainly
keep the chaps from the young ladies
lips.
First class in music stand up. "How
many kinds of metre are th.r.2" Three,
sir-long metre, short metre, and meet
her by moonlight alone"
Said be, "Maliuda. you are my dear
est duckl' Said she, Joseph, you are
trying to stuff me-" She was too sage
for him.
The boys are shocked at the report
that Edison has invented a lightning
rod for schools"
She certainly had q pretty foot. but
after all IL didn't make half so much
impression on him as the old mans.
Clara docking at display of bon
nets, ete.): "Don't you think they are
very handsomeH" Amy (whose thoughts
are on the other side of the street)
VERY, especially the one with the black
mustache."
"Oh, she was jewel Of wife!" said
Pat, mourning over the loss of his better
half; She always struck me with the
soft end of the mop"
A great editor paralyzed: A young
lady at watering place paralyzed a
great editor when she said to him, sweet.
", 20, know what you are here for.
You've come here to get items for your
paper
The badge OF his profession: mo
bah, excitedly exclaimed a Southern
dArkey dominic, ''dat whitewash on th,
slecbs o. my coat nebber come from d.
roosts OBJ chicken house. Dem marks
sab. am de badge of my professhun
sah."
A daring squib: "Have you gotany
four o'clocks IN your flower garden2'
asked Que Sammerville gentleman of an
other. "Four-o'c clocks" was the reply
mo, sir, there is no four-o'clocks abou
mine; it Is all day with my flowers; tn
hens have been at EN-"
A satisfactory answer: Barber =
; Dear me, yonr boards very strong; hoy
often do you shaver Van Jboor
Dutch mnriner)-"Dree times a wee
effery tay bot Sondsis; ten shaves et
fiery day"
How they last: G0ntleman-"Ho
: con you afford to sell these rifus for q,
dollars1 They certainly can't be goo
= for much. They won't stand much Sc
vice. will theyf" Deal,r- "They wi
what I hiSfnsS iiSnS @atth as ths man who fires then
= would you want?" GsntI
without rifle. oo"'
IT "A man may smile and smile. etc
t. Forever and forever farewell. Cassiu
II we do not meet again, why we sbt
's SMILE" said Brutus, aud how pleasant
Is is to contemplate that 'age does n
As wither ncr custom stale" this deligl
n- !ul habit of "smiling" when frien
10 meet.
Ii Moral obliquitY: At recent Sund
school picnic the superintendent. pal
i'd lug among the crowd just settling do'
d. to lunch in the grove, overheard
er angry Teuton in the midst OF q group
he children unburdsDing his mind vi
of vigorous profanity. Touching him
d. the shoulder the superintendent sa
b. "NIy friend, you must not swear her
ge mot Schwear5 Und Wy nod2' "W
or these children must not hear such aw
of- words:" "Vell, vosn't does jnsht
'as children was a schwearin' at2 He"
'"' Adding injury to insult: A tall. s
'' lish-looking woman, leading a greyhou'
IVY passed the balcony of a Saratoga ho
w. on which two gentlemen were standi
oe what n beautiful creature" IN a yo
INV that proved loud enough for the lady
''o hear. Turning very red in the face
sui glanced augrily at the speaker ana Sc
'n' you have no right to insult me, 81
.ue Excuse me, madam he replied, e.
''' hatter yourself. was aliuding to y
- So dog"