Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-03-28
ALTERNA TIVES.

- Are there no u0uerWrlterS Tor human
hopes? for the mostprecious of interestsis there
no insurance.
had been tempted all day, tempted
by fate and the devil. All summer long
I had been trying to clasp hands for a
lie Journey with man [ did not love; a
man noble of soul and born to the pur-
pie, who set up his high lineage against
my poor gifts OF beauty and song. He
threw some love into the scales, too, but
Z, God help me, had none to give IN re-
turn. I had bartered erewhile my
whole possessions for few chances of a
dark, dark eye, and my note had gone to
protest.
Could I, could [? It kept following
me about with fateful persistency, for
tonight / was to give my answer to my
high born lover.
L tried TO look things in the face, to
count the cost.
Money was a good thing, it insured
one warmth In winter and delicious cosl-
ness III summer, and prettiness and
dalntIness. and the entrance into good
society. Yes, money was a good thing,
and position and power, and houses and
lands. So far good; but my soul nun
gered and thirsted for love commensur-
ate with my own. which this man, who
offered me purple and gold, had it not
IN his power to give. or, let me qualify
shat, had it noe IN his nature TO give.
The stars came out golden and soft,
and the fragrant summer dusk crept
around me where I sat inhaIing the
scent of the roses. Ambition and love
tore my heart by turn, and WEAKNESS,
Tao q mon. T1ifffJ7I 701aa fo, T woo
so tired, so tired.
1t was brilliant future that Reginald
Dacre offered me, wherein toll and
WEAKNESS could never come. I thought
of the purple and fine linen; the luxuri-
GUS rest; the emoIuments Then my
daily life passed In review before me
that of companion to a naughty, fue
lady. and a singer in a fashionable
church, among fashionable saints and
sinners. / began to Groom over the old
satire:
In the church which is garnished with mullion and
gable,
VIII altar and reredos, with gargoyle and
The penitents' dresses are sealskin and sable,
The odor Of Sanctity's eau de cologne.
But surely if Lucifer, flying from Hades,
Could gaze at this crowd, with its paniers and
paints.
he would say. looking round at the lords and the
ladies,
o where is All Sinners if this is All Saints?
] had entered upon this life from an
unloved and unloving home, a home
doled out to me by the tardy justice of
granduncle who had robbed me OF my
inheritance. I thought at first might
find the sangreal somewhere In this new
country, which seemed 50 fair, but alas !
I had not even heard the swish of wings.
[ thought it all oyer-the fever and
the fret; the petty jars; the misunder-
standings; the pain Of incOmprehension
the unguerdoned toll; the tagging hours;
the awful pauses.
This or marriage; this or marriage.
It seemed written like placard on earth
and sky. / seemed bound like phylac-
terry upon the brows of the people as
they passed to and fro; and soon the
word marriage lost all its significance
for me, as words do after oft repeating.
Did it mean misery or happiness, bliss
or woe? This marriage that rung its
changes through my brain-was it God
appointed? Did it mean Gods blessing
or His curse?
You know I did not love this man who
offered me rest from my labors. He
had not power to evoke one thrill at his
call. But then love is only one reason
why one should marry man. There
might be love and plenty Of money, and
yet one go hungry all ones life. [ have
known such things.
I had tried to make my life straight
and fair. l had tried to keep clean
hands and a pure heart; tried
God, who knows the secrets OF all hearts,
knows this-to fight despair.
Long, green days,
Worn bare of grass and sunshine; long calm nights
From which the silken sleeps were fretted out
BE witness for me.
We see through shadows all our life
long. We come into this world with
out our being given a choice as to our
advent, and go out of it In the same
manner.
We have not been consulted as to birth
or death. More and more the prayer OF
Epictetus haunts me. E'Lead me, Zeus
and Destiny, whithersoever I am ap-
pointed to go; I will follow without
waveriDg; even though I turn coward
and shrink, shall have TO follow all the
same.
Should I marry Mr.. Dacre? Was he
sdaEOO0 lC11tAE da TIC HOIlu SdlUs LOO
good for me, as my lady elegantly
phrased it.
had been born into the world amid
fierce throes of mental anguish. Through
the pain of her travail my mothers
heart was rent with the greater pain OF
my fathers sudden death-drowned of
the Cornish coast, for was born at sea.
She lived until L was ten years old, q
life of sorrow, and poverty, and renun-
citation. Then she died, leaving me
to the care of compassionate world
and my uncle. OF him I have already
spoken.
Ny life dragged on with clogged