The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-05-17
THE ART OF LYING IN BED.
Great Achievements Accomplished and
Noble Thoughts Born Of Genius
Ahad.


One of the most useful vet neglected
of all the arts is that of living in bed.
The damage that is done by persons
getting up is past all reckoning. All
the mischief and crime, the counterfeit
ing and forgery. the murder and theft.
are perpetrated by parties who persist
in getting up. Not only individuals do
wrong by leaving their beds, but rivers
as well do an immense amount of dam
age. Witness the Ohio river. which left
its bed short time ago. How much
damage has its diversion wrought?
What an immense, incalculable amount
of work, labor and experience has not
its early rising caused? What man was
ever dunned by creditor, had his eye
put in mourning by too close proximi-
ty with some ones fist, broke his leg on
slippery pavement, was run over by
an omnibus, who lay in bed.
What great achievements have been
accomplished in war, in poetry, in lit
erature, by genius abed? What noble
thoughts have been born between the
sheets; and once delivered from their
authors brains, Jehu-like, whistling
down the race-course of time! Coming
events cast their shadows before one
of the most memorable lines in the Eng
lish language-originated with the GIN
loving poet, Tom Campbell, one morn
ing before he had arisen. Longfellow
thought out that exquisite poem, 1.-The
Wreck of the Hesperus," after he had
retired. Ben Franklin said. early to
bed and early to rise makes a man
healthy, wealthy and wise. Now, Frank
lin started out all right. but got terribly
mixed when he said ''early to rise. !"
There is fatal mistake. People who
rise early are sure to catch the malaria;
the ground is full of half-hatched poi
sonous germs; the sun is not up and has
not warmed them into life, given them
wings and set them adrift. Poor, mis-
taken man, he arises, inhales them all;
they functify and poison his entire sys-
tenn; hence chills, fever, malaria and
HALF THE ILLS THAT HUMAN FLESH IS
Rise before the sun,
And make a breakfast of the morning dew
Served up by nature on some grassy hill;
You'll find it nectar.
Was ever mere arrant nonsense written?
Fancy a man getting up on cold rainy
morning and climbing one of the high
bills about Cincinnati On an empty
stomach, and leaving his French coffee
and hot rolls, poached eggs and oyster
stew, to eat-what? Why, dew. How
long would that fellow last? Wouldn t
be be a fit candidate for Longview, and
no questions asked? But the early bird
catches the worm. Yes, but the sharp
boy knocked the delusion in the head
forever aud eternally when he said:
Father, there's the point; what in
thunder did the worm get up so early
for? He tri.lei with destiny; he tempt
ed fate; ne should not have done it.
That bOy was 4 benefactOr to the hui
man race. He was sound on the lieabed
question.
Tie French pr0yerb says ''De lit la
table, de IN table au lit From bed
20 grub, from grub to bed.'' That's
something Ike it. Get up and eat, eat
and go TO bed again. Why not? All
the animals do it. All nature, the grand
mother OF US ali. teaches it. Every an
inal in the world eats and seeks repose.
The COW eats, and, lying down, placidly
chews her cud; the anaconda swallows
an OK. horns and ell, and goes to sleep
-''sleep that knits up the ravelled
sleeve of care: the birth of each day S
life, sore labor's bath. balm of hurt
minds: great natures second course;
chief nourisherin life's feast" And vet
this is what they would deprive us of
who say get up, and who oppose the art
OF lying abed.-Ctncinnati Enquirer.