The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1883-01-19

The Milwaukee Bad hoy Tries an Expert.
ment which Produces Startling and
Unexpected Results.

Say, ara you Mason, or nodiel-
low, or anything q asked tho bad hoy
Of tho grocery man.
"Why, yes, Of course / an"
"Well, do the goats bunt when you
nishiate fresh candidate ~
mo, Of course not The goats are
cheap ones, that have no life, and we
muzzle them, and put pillows over
their heads, 80 thoy can't hurt any
body" says the grocery man, M bs
winked at brother nodlellow who was
seated on sugar barrel, looking mys-
terious. "But why do you ask p
40, nuthin, only ] wish me and my
chum had muzzled our goat with pill.
low. Pa would have enjoyed his be-
ccu:ing q member Of our lodge better.
You see, pa had been telling us how
much good the Masons and Odd Fellers
did, and said We ought TO try and grow
up good so we could jine tho lodges
when we got big, and | asked pa IL II
would do any hurt for us TO have a
play lodge In my room, and purtend 10
nishiate, and pa said IL wouldn't do any
hurt. He said IL would improve our
minds, and learn us 10 be men. So
my chum and me bOrried q goat that
lives in the Ivory stable"
"You see my chum and mo had 10
carry tho goat up to my room when pc
and ma was out riding, and he bIatted
so We had 10 tic handkerchief around
bis nose, and bis feet made such noise |
on the floor that wo put some baby's
socks on bis feet. Goah, hew frowny
goat smells, don't IL ! should |
think you MasOns must have strong |
stanmix.
"Well, sir, my eham aud me prac-
ticed with that goat until ho could bunt
4 picture Of goat ovcry time. We
borriOd buck beer sign firm a saloon
man, and hung II On thn hack Of 4
chair, and the goat would hit il every
time. That night pa wanted TO know
what We were doing mp in my room,
and / told him We wsrs playing lodge,
and improving our minds, and pa said
that was right, there was nothing that
did boys Of our ago half 70 much good
as to initiate men, aud store by useful
nollidse. Then my chum asked IA IL
he didn't want 10 como up aad take the
grand bumper degree, and pa laff.d and
said be didn't care If hs did Just TO en-
courage the boys in innocent paatime,
that was so improving 20 our intellect.
We had shut the goat up in closet in
my room, and he had 60. over blatting,
80 we took OF the handkerchief, and he
was eating some Of my paper. collars
and skate straps. We went up stairs
and told pa to come up pretty soon and
give three distinct raps, and when We
asked him who was there he must say,
"a pilgaric who wants TO join your an
cient order and ride the goat Ma
wanted to come up too, but we told her
il she come 10 il would break up the
lodge, cause woman could't keep a
secret, and we didn't have any side
saddle for the goat. Say, II you never
tried It, the next time YOU initiate q
man in your MasOn's lodge, you sprin-
kle a little kyan pepper on the goats
beard just afore you turn him loose.
You can get three times as much fun to
the square inch Of goat. You
wouldn't think it was tho same goat.
Well, We got all fixed, and pa rspped.
and we lot him in and told him he must
be blind.folded, and be got on his knees
lafiing, and ! tied a towel around his
eyes, and then turned him around and
made him get down on his hands also,
and thon his back was right towards
the closet door, and | put the buck beer
sign right against pas clothes. He was
lafIing all the time, and said we boys
were full of fun as they made 'em, and
We told him it was a solemn occasion.
and we wouldn't permit no levity, and
if he didn't stop lalling we couldn't give
him the grand bumper degree. Then
everything was ready, and my chun
had his hand on the closet door, and
some kyan pepper in his other hand,
and asked pa in low bass tones If he
felt as though he wanted to turn back,
or If he had nerve enough to go ahead
and take the degree. / warned him
th at it WAS full Of dangers, as the goat
was loaded for beer, and told him he
yet had time to retrace bis steps if he
wanted to. He said he wanted the
whole bizness, and we could go ahead
with the menagerie. Then / said to pa
that if he had decided to 90 ahead, and
not blame us for the consequences, to