National Republican., 1883-06-22

@'NN 'N''' 4"V''hHV VVuFNuts
SHE sang want to be an angel" and he
swore that she was one already. To this she
blushingy demurred. Then he married her
Demurrer sustained Cincinnati Saturday NiqhL,
Twice in her lifo a Maine woman has been
| struck by lightning. and she is alive yet Her
husband was struck once with n poker and a
monument marks his place of sojourn.-Swdeuss
Herald
THE latest absurdity in the way of monu-
ment building Is Syracuse IN. W idea. IL is pro-
posed to raise money for a monument to an old
squaw, who died near there recently at the alleged
age of1O9 years.
| PASS? OF course I'll pass" replied y
twelve-year-old school girl in this city the other
| day. Doesn't my brother keep company with
the schoolma'am, and will she dare snub one Of
the famiy2"-Detroa Free Press
AT Coney Island on Thursday last horse
named Arsenic won the mile and a furlong race.
and another named Strychnine ran second in the
steeple chase. Some man ought to name his horse
Antdote, and give them whirl.-Rdnsas Gin
Journal
| TEACHER: In tho sentence, Mary loves
JOHN what does John agree wlth2' Bright
scholar: with Mary" Teacher: "with Mary?
How do you make that out?' Bright scholar.
Cause Mary wouldn't love him If he didn't agree
with her"
IT is stated that discord struck on piano
will kill lizard. And yet the inmates of a board
ing house thrive on 1t, and no attempt Is made by
scientists to explain tho mystery In this, as In
everything else discovery is a long way ahead OF
explanation.
A CELEBRATED circus manager is on the
hunt for new curiosity for his show. He is seek.
ing to find young married man whose wife can
cook as well as his mother did. Twenty.slx states
have been explored thus far without SUCCESS
| SomerUilLe Journal.
SWIMMING is becoming favorite amuse-
ment with New York ladies. 1t has long been
known that husbands of New York ladies often
find 1t difficult to keep their own heads above
water, and now, perhaps, their wives will helm
them.-LouisviHe Courier Journal
LADY stopping at hotel in Australia
was bitten by rat, and has sued the proprietor
OF the house for $4,000 damages Tho bite was
not severe, but the fright was so great that her
| hair-hanging on the back of q chair--turned
gray before morning. .-Norristown Herald.
BEFORE cutting mans head off in China
the authorities considerably make him drunk.
The editor of the Rochester Post Express who
knows what he is talking about, says: "The
beauty of this system is that man can got intoxi-
Gated without having head on him the next
morning"
ILLINOIS farmers say that on account of
the abundant rains pasturage has grown so rankly
us 10 become poisonous, and the cattle arc dying
In consequence This may or may not be true,
but the Kansas City Journal says If you think
nature is not big series of blunders from tho
start, ask the first farmer you come across
The Rev. Minot j. Savage, of Boston, presi-
dent of the Unitarian association of the United
States, has declared his abandonment of the be.
llefin personal God and finds his conception of
the Supreme Being in nature and natural laws
This is important to those who think no Supreme
Being can exist without the approval of Mr.
Savage,
THE st. Louis Post Dispatch refers to Kansas
City as " the wicked city OF west Missouri" When
we look down from this altitude npon murderers'
row in the st. Louis jail and upon its plague spots
ofimmorality from Stoddard addition TO Clabber
alley, and then at the remark printed above, we
hardly know whether TO laugh or swear.-Ransds
City Journal
Two HUNDRED THOUSAND dozen eggs have
been imported from Europe during the past nine
months. They are of excellent quality, but sell
at from one to two cents less per dozen than do
nestle eggs, on account OF being smaller Dealers
think the time is not far distant when large sup-
ply of eggs VIII be imported from China In this
country. Indiana, Ohio. and Iowa are regarded as
the best egg producing states.
The Galveston Neirs says German has in.
vented safe that, ON its lock being tampered
with, throws open its doors, sezes aud drags and
locks in the burglar, and handouts and holds h i'm
in readiness to be conducted to the police court In
the morning. Yankee is experimenting with q
set of books for the use of county officers which,
as soon fraudulent entry is made in them,
will, by means ofa clever electrical contrivance,
sound an alarm on the court house bell
> SERIES of pyrotechnic exhibitions is to
be given in the principal cities of this country this
summer by Pain, the London maker who has
furnished the fireworks at Manhattan Beach ( r
several seasons, and who cuted a contract re-
Gently for all the illumination and pyrotechnic
displays at Moscow. AS popular summers
night entertainment 1t would seem as If a good
deal of amusement might be afforded by such
shows and money made out of them, If well man
aged.
! FINE examples of the "old masters " com.
mand large prices in Europe, and some Of the
most noted current sales are to American buyers,
l Thus splendid Rembrandt was purchased in
London last week for Mr.. Henry Marquand, Of
D New York LandseeTs "Titania and Nick Bot
tom" brought $4,000 at the sales. IL is re-
ported that Mackey, OF Nevada, has paid $500 900
for Sir Philip Miless fne collection at Leigh court.
In art as in business, Mr.. Mackey prefers tho
: wholesale method.
LIFE is made up of surprises, but probably
the subject of this story by the Newburyport Her
aid: Formerly 1t was the custom, moro than at
present, TO 'have up notes" in the pulpit for loss
of friends, 30. A neighborlng clergyman on an
exchange read notice that MI. A. desired prayers
that the death of his wlfe might be sanctlfed TO
l him, &C., and the clergyman prayed most ear
nestly for the brother sitting lonely aud desolate
in his pew, sc. He noticed rustling in the con-
gregation, and to his CONSERVATION learned that
: the note had been shut up in the Bible year,
5 aud the man had his new wife for the first time
IN the pew. The good people smiled.
EDWARD POWELL, a wealthy cattle owner,
: and Miss Ida smedley, very bright and talented
young lady, were standing hand in hand before a
: clergyman at Albuquerque, N NJ. apparently
prepared TO pronounce the solemn vows which
: would make them man and wife, "Will you take
this woman for your lawful wife2' asked the Rev.
, Mr. Keistler 81 win," responded the bridegroom
/ elect "Will you take this man for your lawful
, husbands" continued the minister. my God
can't can't, can't" was the pitiful response
of the young lady, who, bursting into tears
? rushed into an adjoining apartment. The ladies
. went to her assistance and advised with her and
0 the rejected bridegroom tried TO persuade her "a
' change her determination and become his wife
. but IL was to no purpose. The young lady would
not change her mind,