davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-12-01
DIR AGENTS.

THE FREE TRAsER may be obtained al 'he Io'
places by the single copy or subscriptions 'o''aNe'
or any length of time at the regular rateS;
r. II. PooLER, Serena, III,
Z H. TEowBBIDGK Msrseillcs.
u. H. UNDEHIIILL, Seneca, H.
LTVAN DoREN. Grand Ridge.
George X. HsRGsG, for Troy Grove, OPT NJ" WA
s,am Address, Troy Grove.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-12-01

As noted last week 4. J. Reddick, Of the
La Sale Democrat, got off without fine IN the
L. 5. Dist. Court on Friday last, the charge
being an indictment by the grand jury for
sending obscene papers through the mails
Mr. Reddick engaged B. c. Cook, and then
decided to plead guilty. On Friday motion
was made for sentence by the District Attor-
ney, bat the judge overru,ed it, holding the
articles complained Of were not obscene IN
der the statute even though Reddick had by
his plea admitted they were, quashed the in
dictment, and discharged the prisoner. The
other evening several hundred Of his friends
visited him at bis residence, with brass
band, etc, to again congratulate him upon
the result OF the trial in Chicago. The cir
cult court records also show that Nj. Red
dick has begun suit for $4,000 against Post
master Corbus for malicious prosecution,
and that the papers were served this week.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-12-01

r. advance per nnhul ..,.,.''..'' .'''t''' " - ,.
N MT pnid In end oi tire" months .,'''.'.. ~
II moi sud I'M end OF Fix months ....,,. -'co
u NV By carrier, my oens extra ,,,.
Fnaen cents year is added TO papers sent out "i h'
ennnty 10 cover prepayment OF po6taSt
These terInh will he strictly hlhereu TO-
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-12-01

Among the bakemeats" Of Thursdays
Thanksgiving festivities, we venture to ssy
that nothing more toOthsome adorned any
table than good round chunk of VIM. De
gems show beef. By the way, Mr. Degen
also displayed in his elegant meat parlors"
some fine launches of venison, BEARS meat.
buffalo meat, jack rabbits and other game, Of
which few choice bits still remain
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-12-01

Prof Philipsthal, well-knewn New York
op,ician. is at the Clifton Hotel, and is pre-.
pared TO ct persons with the first pair Of
speciacles he selects. Call or him between
30 and 80 and evenings.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-12-01

His stock is complete now and any one wish
ing to purchase and have the articles Kept
uutIl the holidays, will be cheerfully accom-.
modated Make your selections nor.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-12-01

The Ladies' Aid Society of the Episcopal
church will meet on Thursday afternoon OF
next week, Dec. 9th, at the residence OF VIM.
Osman. Gentlemen are invited TO tea, at q
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-12-01

New telephones have been pu, in the eouh
" isll ard the residence % 7. 4. Kendall.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-12-01
WIN. OsMAN, EpIToE;
TERMS ns SuasoRIprlon:

IA WILLIAMS AxpE. G. osMAN, AssrsrANrs,
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-07-05
Peouliarities of Second Hand Coat.

A party of three young men from the
agricultural districts entered second hand
store, and one of them finally bought a Sc
condhand coat. He was solemnly assured
that it was fit that Shakespeare would have
been proud of and that it increased his
beauty POO per cent. and he went away per
tectly satisfied. In about an hour, how
ever, he returned and said Say, this
coat isn't fit, after ALL" What ails dot
goat now, eh ?" "WeIl, it's too short in the
back for one thing" 'Let me look. Too
short eh9 I'm. My friendt, who tells you
SOP Both the boys "And vhas dose
poys tallors ?" No" ''Do they get oudt
some fashion plates from Paris ?" "No."
"Nhell, how ish II dose poys know so much ?
Dot goat allows for YOU to shtand oop und
bend oafer, 1t allows for your back to
shorten oop and lengthen oudt" But the
sleeves are too short" Let me see Only
last night my wife sit up all night to cut off
dose sleeves and make 'em in style. and
now you vhant sleeve like Noah wore
IN der Ark. Nhell nobody would ever
think dot of you" II can hardly bend my
arms, exclaimed the buyer. "Vhell | sold
YOU dot goat for Sundays, | hope When
you desire to bend your arms put on some
odder goat am not at all satisfied with
it, no matter what you say "Vhel can't
help dot. After you buy dot goat you fall
down or shump around or drink peer, und
got your body all out of shape, und den
come pack und complain. My friend, dot
goat yhas for shentleman When YOU
wear it you must be shentleman" 81 paid
you eight dollars for it, and I'll take four"
NO" "lou can have it for three dollars"
"loung man, let me explain. vhas part
ner NIT my wife. She buys and | sell She
is now in Chicago. Doan' you sell dot goat
Take it home und wait until you shrink a
leedle und your pack shortens oop, und you
vhlll den put on dot goat und set all der gals
crazy und make all der young men sheaous
Take my advice. vhas in der clothing
peesness forty years, und | know der
cloth in dot goat. 1t WANTS good thunder
shower und two games Of base ball to make
it fit you like a handle to coffee mill."-
Detroit Free Press
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-07-05
Vol. xxx Whole No. l484 No.27.
The Life of Man.

Man, born of woman, is of few days and
no teeth. And, indeed, it would be money
in his pocket sometimes if he had less of
either. As for his days, he wasteth one
third Of them, and as for his teeth, he has
commissions when he cuts them, and a. the
last one comes through, 10, the dentist is
twisting the first one out, and the last end
of that mans jaw is worse than the first. be-
ing full of porcelain and a roof plate built to
hold blackberry seeds.
Stone bruises line his pathway to man
hood; his father boxes his ears at home, the
big boys cuff him in the play ground, and the
teacher whips him in the school ROOM He
buyeth Northwestern at ll0, when he hath
sold short at SO, and his neighbor unlosdeth
upon him Iron Mountain at So 5-s, and it
straightway breaketh down to 50 IA. He
riseth early and stitch up late that he may
fill his barns and storehouses, and 10 his
children's lawyers divide the spoil among
themselves, and say "Ha, ha !" He growl-
eth and is sore distressed because it raineth.
and he beateth upon his breast and sayeth,
"My crop is losti' because it raineth not
The late rains blight his wheat and the frost
bitetb his peaches. II it be so that the sun
shlneth, even among the nineties, he sayeth,
w oe is ule, IoF perlsn, ana II the north
west wind sighsth down in forty below he
creth, "Would | were dead !" If he wear
sackcioth and blue jeans men say "He is a
tramp and if he goeth forth shaven and clad
in purple and fine linen all the people cry,
"Shoot the dude"
He carryeth insurance for twenty-five
years, until he hath paid thrice over for all
his goods, and then he letteth his policy
lapse one day, and that same night fire de-
stroyeth his store. He buildeth him house
in Jersey, and his first born is deyoured by
mosquitoes; he pitcheth his tent in New
York, and tramps devour his substance.
He moveth to Kansas, and a cyclone carry
eth his house away over into Missouri, while
prairie fire and ten million acres Of grass
hoppers fight for his crop. He settles him
self in Kentucky, and Is shot the next day
by gentleman. colonel and a Statesman,
because, sab, he resembles, sab. man, sab,
he did not like. sah." Verify, there is no
rest for the sole of his foot, and If he had it
to do over again he would not be born at
all.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-07-05
Straw Lumber,


The other day we had occasion to investi-
gate pretty thoroughly the character, prop
critics and uses of straw lumber. AS some
of our readers know, this is an article man.
ufactured at the West, and turned out in
boards or sheets thirty three inches in width
by twelve feet in length, and of various
thicknesses. 1t is heavier than black walnut,
has no grain, is of the color of straw board
though considerably darker, and is much
stronger and sitter than ordinary timber.
Though made in considerable quantities at
the present time, the supply seems hardly
equal to the demand. There are advantages
in this material which in the near future
will probably make it of the highest value
not only for carpenters and architects, but
for the car-bulder, and in fact for the me-
chanics generally. Its toughness, the firm
ness with which it holds nails and screws,
the ease with which it can be cut and the
fact that it can be cut by the aid of heat,
shaped in dies, and is not liable to shrink or
warp, and is little affected by water, even
when unprotected, makes the range of its
probable use extraordinarily great. 1t seems
to be non-conductor of heat and electrici-
ty. 1t can be rolled up into pipes of great
strength and light weight, and is available
for range Of uses for paneling purposes for
which we have no equivalent.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-07-05
Booth in Germany.

Lucy Hooper, writing to the Philadelphia
Telegraph about Booths visit to Germany.
says "Some comical incidents arose during
his tour out of the presence of his daughters
colored maid Betty, whose black skin filled
the average German mind with wonder and
amaze. Sometimes they set her down as \
Zulu, and were surprised to learn that she
was harmless American. Mr.. Booths
courier was several times asked, on arriving
at new hotel as to what this strange Great
ure was to be fed upon. One day when she
was out walking with Miss Booth kindly
looking German, who had been staring at
the par for some time, evidently came to
the conclusion that Betty was some kind of
large tame monkey, for he darted into
frulterers shop and came out with quantl-
ty of fine plums, which he pressed into her
hands. On another occasion Betty was 60
ing through the corridor of a hotel, when
she met an elderly gentleman, who stopped
Ter with an authoritative gesture. He then
carefully applied the tip of one finger to her
cheek and gave the skin vigorous rub. af-
terward looking at his fingers and shaking
his head in bewilderment on finding that the
color did not come off,"
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-07-05

party has gone out of town for month un-
der the firm belief that the letter was a
threatening dun and that the case would
come up at the next term. A Rockland law
yer one time wrote to a brother member of
his profession requesting the loan OF the
tenth volume of certain report. The broth
er member kept the writing for year and
then informed the first lawyer that he held
his note for hundred and FIVE dollars, and
| it was due. The first lawyer Indignantly de-
MED the charge and the case was carried in
to court. The note was produced and the
Judge looked at it and said that it seemed
all straight enough. Then the lawyer looked
at it himself, and at once said that he with
drew his defense. He begged the pardon of
the court and also Of his brother lawyer, and
asserted with such solemnity that he had no
recollection of ever having given the note,
| that the whole bar was affected to tears, in
Guiding the brother lawyer who held the
note, and who was so touched by the others
emotion that he positively refused TO accept
any interest and would take only the face OF
| the note.
We could cover this page with true stories
| for children like these regarding instances OF
| faulty writing that have come under our no.
tice, but enough has already been told to
prove that what is needed in our midst is a
renaissance in the matter Of penmanship.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-07-05
When to Look for Buglars.

''Now do YOU know the best time to dc a
job in? ?" The reporter acknowledged that
he didn't "Well, III tell you,' said the
professor Between 3 and O'Clock in the
morning, particularly if the night is black.
People sleep soundest in the hour just be-
fore daylight. You can go through a big
house easy IN an hour and scoop everything,
from the jewelry in the secret safe above the
mantel to the six-shooter and gold super
(watch) under the boss's pillow. And this
brings us to our first lesson. which will show
you how to get into house. There are
three ordinary ways of doing this BY the
doors, BY the lower windows and by the
windows on the upper floors. If the upper
windows are to be worked, all you have to
do is to climb the porch, push up your win
dow and crawl in. Never try to do any,
thing without partner. Leave your shoes
with him on the lookout below. You will
want light, candle-end or a bulPs-eye
lantern. The bit of candle is the best to
use. Its light will not wake the sleeper.
Then prosecute your work as judgment
dictates, being sure to search the open places
first and the drawers next"
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-07-05

The July Vide A,cdke is welcome with its
two seasonable stories: "How They Celebrat-
ed" by Ada Carleton StOddard, a story of bows
in whom was the self-cnntrol W which makes good
soldiers; and "A Hero" by Mr.. Frances A.
Humphrey. another story of a Young Iad,s
courage and seli-discpline. The remainder of
the s;ory' space Is given up to long and delight
tui chapters of the three serials: 'tacique
John, by Fred A. Ober: "On Indiana Roads.
by Mrs. CatberwOod; and More Than They
Barganed For" by Charles K. Talbot; and rs
interesting as story is Miss Harris long arti-
Gle, "A Day with Rags, TateTs L Co." This
Is description of the processes at a romantic
old paper-miil at Franklin, N. H., and is accom-
panied by twenty-four drawings made ut the
mill, by w. Z. BOdfsh, who is also furnishing
the graphic Picture Serial, Through Spain on
Donhey-Back," )" three pages of which appear in
this number, Another feature Of interest to
everybody, in this issue, is port ait of X ate
Greenaway, the wot ld-famous London artist.
accompanied by glimpse Of her methods of
studio-wofk, from the pen of Margaret Sidney.
Mrs. Diazs John Spicer Lecture is upon
Fourth of July.' Marion Har,and's Cookery
Lesson Is excellent, and the Next Neighbor's
talk to Anna Maria upon Excepting the House
Coop Is invaluable, and the pleasant Author
this time, is Dinah Muloch Craik. The num-
DER US usual, Is strong in poems, NEST of them
charmingly illustrated; among them "Bea-
trce." by Celia Thaxter; The Long White
Seam," by Jean Ingelow; TEDDY, the Teas
err" rollicking VelOcipede story by N. Z. b.
MARY T. Blake.) Only $3.50 . year. ID,
LOthrop Il Co., Publishers, Boston.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-07-05
\. Roetrp.
Caldwell at Springfield.

Here's the spot. Look around you. Above on
the height
Lay the Hesslans encamped. BY the church
on the righl,
stood the gaunt Jersey farmers And here ran
wall
You may dig anywhere and you will turn up a
Pretty much as they did ninety-three years
ago.
Nothing more did l say; Stay one moment ;
you've heard
OF Caldwell. the parson who once preached
the word
Down at Springfield, What No, Come.
that, bad Why he had
All the Jerseys aflame. And they gave him
the name
OF the "rebel high priest" He stuck in their
For he lovedthe Lord God-and he hated King
George.
He had cause, you might say, when the Hes
slams that day
Marched up with knyphausen. they stopped
on then way
At the Farms" where his wife, with child
in her arms.
sat alone in the house. How II happened none
knew
But God-and one Of the hire ling crew
" no fired the shot Enough. here she lay.
And Caldwell, the chaplain. her husband,
away,
Did he preaci-did he pray: Think OF him,
YOU stand
BY the old church 10 day; think of him and
that band
OF militant cowboys, See the smoke and the
heat
OF that reckless advance-of that strugg ling
r,tre,t.
Keep the ghost Of that wife fouIly slain in your
view
And what could ynu-what should you-what
would YOU do:
VII, just What he did. They were III, 10 the
lurch.
For want OF more waddng. He ran to the
church.
Broke the door. stripped the pews. and dashed
out la the road
With hi arm, iull of bymn-books, and threw
down hi oad
At their feet, Then above all the shouting
and shots
Rang hi voice: Put Wait, into EN- boys
give I'm Watts
And They did. That j. ali. Grasses spring
flowers blow.
Pretty much ~ they did ninety-thrre year
ago;
You may dig anywhere and you'lI turn UP \
bail.
But net always hero like this-and that's
all.
Bret HIrte.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-07-05

HUMAN BLOOD.-On the purity and vital
ity of the blood depend the vigor and health
Of the whole system. Disease Of various
kinds is often only the sign that nature is
trying to remove the disturbing cause. A
remedy that gives life and vigor to the
blood, eradicates scrofula and other impuri-
ties from il, as Hoods Sarsaparilla un-
doubtedIy does, must be the means of pre-
venting many dissasss that would occur
Without iAa W. Sold hY dsalass,
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-07-05

Huxley says there was a time when
men walked on all fours. We believe you,
Huxley, for we have seen them do it when
they were little. There was also q time
when man walked on the palms Of his hands
and held his legs up in the air. The time
We refer to is after the boy has been to cir
Gus, and has seen the clown do it. If there
is anything else regarding man of which the
public is ignorant, the columns Of our paper
are at The disposl Of Huxlsy, q snr asnal
seSsssenG ssAss-1Wa araoA
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-07-05

Mrs. Jones-"Ah! and good morning
to you Mrs. Smith. Did YOU like the cream
sent youp" Mrs. Smith-"Oh, very much,
thank YOU" Mrs. Jones-"Yes; and If
you could let me have the pot sent it in
you'd oblige me cos. you see, it's my old
mans shaving mug, and b. don't Gks no
ssAa.,A
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-07-05

A Pittsburg minister preached Sunday
on "Why some men do not enjoy their re-
ligion." 1t is probably due TO the difficulty
slvsys experienced BY thosa vho uy u a.
iay vAak sAey AaSsR1 1gaa,
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-07-05
PRESENT POWER.
y Long Way on "se"
Hs~lv 10 vWansra To-Day.

Help 10 Wansrd Ts.Dny.
Comfort is eyerin hurry. Pain and distress
are in hot haste Ii is to the "friend in need.the
friend who does something now-thatthe o adage
paws the compliment Of being "a friend indeed
the salient excellence Of BENSON'S CAPCiNE
POROUS PLASTERs. The plasters OF other
days-whether porous or otherwise-saiuw Az ~
snnr of the moment But pin unreieved' nke
hone deferred, maketh the heart sick Bensons
plssters act on application They pc, meate'
lpoo1he. warm and heal, containing, as they do.
chemical and medicinal agents Of the highest
eS6ciency. Their motto is NOW. and the genuine
have the word CAPCINE cut In the middle OF eacn
naasAer. Price Is cents. ssabaTy 4 johnson,
6enasss. Nsu Yost.
- Iulv
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-07-05

A Swedish Servant.

By CAROLINE /. LEIGHTON.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-09-19
F4THER and SON.

When Dean Richmond was President
of the New York Central railroad, his
son Henry was a conductor on the road.
The elder Richmond was on his soD's
train, and making no move to show a
ticket or pass, was plumply asked by
the boy for a ticket. $50 away, I
haven't any," said he. "But," said the
conductor, "my orders are strict to let
nobody ride without ticket or pass.
"Well, no matter" said Dean, "Pm
President of this road, and don't need
either" "Can't help it, father, you see
how I'm fixed. Shall have to put you
off if you don't do one or the other. :"
The old man looked at him square in
the eyes, but as the son didn't quail
and looked look that meant mischief,
the President deemed it best to come
down with the cash, and did, amid the
merriment of those around.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-09-19
A GOOD RETOHT.

The English make distinc io1 be-
tween sick and i'll. The former Icy
use of slight ailments like nausca Va.
sickness at the stomach, the latter of
protracted or serious illness. They
often laugh at Americans for neglect
ing such distinction. This one led to
an impertinent question and a very
happy retort:
A British merchant, receiving at his
own house Yankee youth at o little
party, said, in tone that attracted the
notice of the whole company:
"Good evening! We haven't seen
You for long while. Have you been
seek" (the sneer prolonged the word),
"as you say in your country?" "No,
thank you," said the othel, frankly and
promptly. II have been hill, as they
say in yours"
The host was sensible enough to join
his guests in the laugh that followed.
He refrained from a second attack on
Americans. .".
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-09-19
A Msw HzsCs or STRATEGY

David Swing, in the Alliance, tells
how bride reformed her profane hus-
band. She invited her bridesmaids, four
in number, 10 . quiet dinner. As they
knew Of ths psoeAne habits of the groom,
and also Of his good qualities, they en-
tered gladly inAD the proposed comedy.
The plan was that all these beautiful
women should uss profane words at the
table, as tho hot coffee or hot weather
or slow Servants might afford opportu-
nifty. It was . bold plan, but it is said
10 have cured ths wicked husband for
whom his elegant wife applied profane
term to the biseuit and fair guest
made Q Hike remark Of the coffee, and
still another applied profane expletiye
70 The movsmsns of . servant, the hus-
band absolutely esisd with remorse that
he had ever used such an outrageous
form Of speech. PROF. Swing thinks
that "while such o cure cannot be JUS
tilted, because it kills the ladies without
curing the masculine offender, yet the
story itself may serve to show that man
as an animal that swears is a mournful
curiosity."
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-09-19
THE CRUSHED TR4GEDL4N.

20, by the way, Tom," said an Aus
tin lady to her husband just after
breakfast, "be sure and bring home that
new silk dress I selected yesterday,
crushed strawberry, you know"
"Hark ye, Maria," replied the affec-
tionate and melo-dramatic Thomas,
"methinks I now canst trace a close an
alogy between crushed strawberry and
crushed pocket-books. Take that small
burden on thy mind and muse awhile,
my dear" ."-Teras SJtinGs.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-09-19

"SAS RRANo1soo is clamoring for
brass bands in churches" If the San
Francisco churches are overcrowded,
the average brass band would remedy
the evil-that is, it would obviate the
necessity of enlarging the church; but
if larger attendance is desired, a comic
opera should be sandwiched in the SER
vice.-Norristo,Un Herald.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-09-19
A REASONABLE OFFER.

Together they were looking over the
paper. "Oh, my, how funny.l" she
said". What Ii 1t ." he asked. "Why
here's an advertisement that says
No reasonable offer refused. >"
"What's 20 odd about that? "Noth-
ing, nothing" she replied, trying to
blush, "only those are exactly my SEN
timents." II that young man hadn't
taken tho hint and proposed right then
and there she would have hated him.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-09-19

THEODORE PARKER once said he re-
garded it as far more favorable to the
prosperity of country, the erection of
a saw-mill than the arrival of painter
and poet.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-09-19

Thos. Brennan, ex-Secretary of the
land leagucof Ireland, now in exile,
will arrive i'm st. Paul on the 18th OF
September and is billed to deliver
twelve lectures in this state.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-09-19

~ MEN OF the world never use harsh
expressions when condemning their re
walls. Like the savage, they hurl elegant
arrows, ornamsnted with feathers Of
purple and azuss. but with poisopaS
points.