Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-02-24
A L.,nc KILN club sctentieic Lecturc

me president stated that Prof HOldbac6
Remington, the great colored Ohio scientist
and philosopher, whose advent had been pre-.
dicted at the last meeting, was now present in
the ante-room and shivering with cold and
shaking with impatience. He had been in the
city for three days, during which time he had
frozen his heels and discovered that the sun
was 200, 600 miles nearer the earth at this
point than in Cleveland.
The committee on reception then drew on
their red mttens parted their hair in the center,
and disappeared in search OF the distinguished
visitor He was conducted to 1.-The platform.
formally introduced. and, as he moistened his
bronchial tubes with a few swallows of hard
cider, he led of:
my frens," he began, II has bin invited to
spoke to you on de subjeck OF science l has
no doubt dat some Of you has heard de word
spoken, or seen 1t in print at some time: but
how little de majority of you have cher realized
de Beauties de extent, an de power of science!
Science has had hard struggle. but she am
now top Of de heap an kin reward her frens an
forgive her enemies How do we know dat de
atrth revolves on her axle-trees, same as de
wheels OF wagin? Science has told u.s. How
do we know how to cross de Oshun? Science
pints de way. How do we know dat de great
desert OF Sanitary was once an oshun? Science
has dug down an foun clam shells and sharks
world Widout overcoats in winter or sody-
water In summer. We would fall from harvest
apple-trees an pick ourselves up widOut know
in wheder grabitashun or agitashun made us
cum down instead OF gOin up. We should see
dc moon, same as now, but some would say 1t
was inhabited by monkeys, an odders would
have an ideah dat 1t was q splendiferous To-
cality Tor a persimmon grove. De sun would
rise an sot an warp de shingles on de roofs,
but men would go round bluffin' fur bets dat
she wasn't nifty miles away an was held In
place by wires,''
Here the orator paused to scratch his back
and take another drink of cider, and amid a
stiffness almost solemn he continued:
science has done much, but it hasn't done
nun. 1t has giben us de mariners compass.
but we have no masheen shops whar' bow-leg-
ged men kin drap in on DER way up home en-
git de crook strengthened while dey wait It
mas giDen us steam, but we still crawl under de
house to thaw out frozen water pipes. de same
as de Roman Senators did 2.000 Vars ago. It
has giben us grand suspenshun bridges. but
OBJ de consumer 1t has giben us de TELEGRAPH
put what man among you cher sot eyes on q
boot-jack which wouldn't miss cog list when
you war pullin' On a wet boot de hardest? It
has tunnelled frew mountains but we hab
foun' no better way oh making de baby swaller
caster lie dan by h0ldin' its nose same as Eve
held Gains and Abel's In de beginnin,'
"My frens. did not come here to expectorate
you wild a tires0me Inflammation. Heed well
what have said: Snug up to science. She
Will keep you cool III summer an prevent de
shrinkin' OF your winter iannels It is q deep
subjeck for research an incompatibility, an
trustin' dat each one OF you may abdicate de
ref1exun of de consequential, will draw nv
brilliant climax to career. "-Des0H Free Press