Arizona silver belt., 1883-04-14
fvMMY rH,Nes FOR rHe LADIES TO READ.

Mr. Topnoody came home early the other evening feeling particularly eoed. After supper he fixed himself in good shape before the fire, and be- gan to talk to tho wife of his bosom.
 My dear," he said, "there's new game which is becoming quite popu- lsf. It Is called 'eonandrams, and Tin going to play it with you, and we must ask each other conundrums and bs once more taken back to the dear delightful days of our youth, when we heard in each others voices only the songs of birds, and saw in each other s smiles and tears only the flowers that come after rain. Now, shall ask the first one, Why am l like England during the reign of Queen Elizabeth?
 Because you are ebossed by woman reckon"
 ' "That isn't the answer, my dear, but we will not quarrel. Here's another, What is the difference between you my dear, and a coachman?"
 "I don't know, unless it is that he drives two horses while drive only a mule, and stubborn one at that. New, let me ask you one, What's the difference between you and Henry the Eightha'"
 "Henry's wives died early, and I was born unlucky."
 Then MT. T., rose up hurriedly and went out, remarking as he shut the door, "It's poor rule that won work both ways" but he didn't come back till his wife was sound ssleep.-The Drummer.
 A very hobby swell from the city was passing few days in the country, and made himself generally obnox- sous by his highfalutin manners. One morning he wanted to go out into a field where number of cattle were standing around, but before he started he said to the old lady of the house:
 "Aw, madame, can l gaw out into that pahsuah?'
 "Yes, in course, you can; them cat. tie won't eat weeds. The Drummer.
 Are your domestic relations agree. ablea" asked judge of colored witness.
 "What's dat conjunction, bossf"
 "I ask are your family ties pleasantr
 "Well, no, sah. When oman ties man when he's drunk an'whips him till he's sober, I doan't think dat it's pleasant, sah. Ark. Traveller.
 A schoolmistress of Yreka, Califor. - nia, while on ner way to school, wa. attacked by an infuriated steer. "She seized the animal by the horns and held him until help came." The next day she saw a rat in the school room, when she hastily gathered her skirts about her, jumped up on a desk and yelled murder. A rat has no horns for woman to grab hold of f-Norristown Herald.
 There is a new style of gentleman s hat, called the Jersey Lily, and some one suggests that it will be failure, as it will be too easily rlashed.--Grip.
 In addressing Sunday school a while ago speaker sait. to the boys: Always be kind to you, little sisters. Now, never had little sister and once tried to be kind % some other fellows sister, but sh, had cruel father, and he hurt mo helping me off the front steps" "--Ex.
 We hear of a woman who applied for situation as car-driver. Being asked if she could man age mules she scornfully replied: "Ot course can 1; I've had two husbands" That woman should go to Congress W aere there are plenty to manage -Elmira Gazette.
 A bark that arrived 1T New York a few days ago, reported that three of the sailors were washed ,verboard one day by heavy sea, ard the return swell swept them back into tho vessel again. That might have easily oc- cured. It recalls the incident of the girl who fell out of fourth story window, and alightcd oll her patent India-rubber hustle, was bounced back into the window uminjrucd. Norris town Herald.
 "l notice" said one Austin lady to another, "that at our social gatherings you are always the last oae to leave."
 q know it, was the reply, but have an object in view"
 "What is it?"
 "l want to prevent the rest of you from slandering me-"
 70, you mean thing; you never like to see your friends enjoy themselves" --Texas Siftings.