The Evening critic., 1883-04-24
The CRITIC ABROAD.

THE CRITIC ABROAD.
"If what I hear is tHe Sam hasn't been
acting and talking with his usual discre-
tion lately" said Pennsylvanian the other
day in speaking of the Speakership and
Sam Randall's candidacy.
"What has Sam been doing now?' asked
the Critic.
Making remarks which he had better
withheld. But then he supposed that he
was surrounded by his personal friends and
followers. and 1t seems be was not"
Well said the Critic, Suppose you stop
talking in riddles now and give us the
facts-tell us what Sam said"
"You know that until few years ago
there was war to the knife between what
were known as tho Wallace wing and the
Randall wing of the Democratic party in
Pennsylvania. But in the course of human
events it became necessary to patch up a
truce. Randall and Wallace buried the
hatchet and they and their henchmen em-
bIaced. 1t was all very touching to the
insiders who knew there was mighty
little sincerity in the truce. In fact what
ever sincerity there was was on Wallaces
part, for Sam Randall never yet made
bargain without a mental reservation of
some kind for the benefit of the said Sam.
Well, you know that of late the papers
have been indulging in good deal of
Presidential talk, and the name;
of Mcdonald, of Indiana, and Wal
lace, of Pennsylvania, have not infre-
quently been coupled together. This was
gall and wormwood to Randall. Even the
very suggestion of Wallace possibly becon-
ing Vice President makes him howl in
wardly, for as rule he is just at this time
too shrewd to talk out in meeting But
one day he forgot himself The Wallace
candidacy happened to be mentioned, when
Randall made q bitter, slurring remark,
something to the effect that the tail would
make the whole body of the ticket stink.
There happened to be u Wallace man pres
ent. The remark was reported, and the
result is that the Wallace men are mad rs
March hares. They have n good many
friends in the Pennsylvania delegation,
| ard il Randall doesn't make his peace he
will soon fEd that he will have to canvass
| his own colleagues pretty closely instead of
| running after the Tennessee aud other
| Southern delegations"
Here is goat story There is goat
belonging in Jacllson's alley who is n
terror to showmen and bill-posters. In
| one day he ate up Barnum's Cir
Gus, chewed up Mrs. Langtry, demolished
the Light Infantry Fair, dessicated tho
| National Fair races macerated a baseball
club, got away with bicycle race demol-
| ished n trustees sale, swallowed part of
| Kers speech-whch he aftcrward vomited
up-and went off b-a-a-a-ing for more litera-
ture. 1t is generally supposed in Swan
| poodle that this useful animal receives
| pension from the job-printers Of this city.
| 1t is rumored that President Arthur will
make tour to the Pacific coast within
month or two and that he will visit most
| of the leading marts of trade on the way.
| -:O:--
The book which Mrs. De Long will issue
soon will p contain, it is said, among
other interesting things, some sketches
| from the pencil OF Jerome Collins, the
| artist who perished with the Jeanette.
| There are some profile views of mountain
and snow-cap scenery made by Collins
among the effects saved from the wreck
which are very creditable pieces of crayon
work.
"Mr. Fred Law Olmstead is the land
scape architect of the Capitol grounds, you
| know" said a gentleman to the Critic to-
| day.
Eyes, so understand; but what of it 2"
"Well, sir, he is one of those men who
|
of the laws of Nature"
"Ah, indeed Why do you speak thusly
of the gentleman ~ queried the Critic.
| Because he is eternally interfering with
| the laws of Nature in this that he has
| every spring, for the last few years, been
| trying to improve on Natures works, by
endeavoring to make the trees in the
Capitol grounds grow just as he wanted
them to grow"
/" Has he succeeded?'
| "No sir; he has not but he has sue
ceeded in destroying the beauty and SYM
metry of those beautiful trees. tell you
| no man, no matter how scientific he may
be, can improve on the handiwork of
God"
Has Mr.. Olmstead charge of the i'm.
provements being made to the northeastern
entrance of the Capitol?"
:" He has. He has been at that job about
year. He has had the stonework put up
and torn down at least three times, Seems
that he is unable to get it to suit his taste,
and ! presume this sort of thing will con-
tinue as long as Congress continues to ap.
| propriate money and he is paid q salary to
live in New York and make a trip once a
month over here TO see how things are
gong on
"The phil-a-lu-bird is another species OF
bird that has made its appearance in our
city" said an old citizen within the hear
ing of the Critic last evening.
"Phil-a-lu-bird Now, what kind of an
animal is that?"
well, he is slight improvement on the
dude. He is possessed of all the attribute;
of the dude and has an additional qualif-
cation He wears sharp-toed shoes, Derby
hat, tight pants, shad-belly coat, striped
cravat, red handkerchief in his pocket,
the corner sticking out, smokes cigarettes
wears bangs and whistles through his nose
go as to be heard for miles around. On ! hC
is bird / tell you, he is a dandy. l saw
one at the theatre last night with s pail
of opera-glasses. He was occupying {
twenty-five cent seat. You can see the
phil-a-lu-bird on the street at all hours o
the day. He is more dangerous than the
dude in many respects"