South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1883-08-17


One form week.
1 am also q shepherd CO ltinue the
bishop. but have much better sal
ary.'
'Tha, may all be, but then l suppose
you have mere swine under your care.
innocently replied the boy.
Sam why am de hogs dc most intel 9.
Iigent folks in de world9- Bee ause tley
nose eberyting.
Teacher And what comes after T.?
You 10, TO see my sister Ann Maria.
It is easy to be philanthropc over
other peoples misfortunes Anyone
can stand the toothache in another fcl.
lows jaw.
The highest thing-The marriage
tie: that is to say. it used to be, but now
it is the loosest
The prettiest thing Look in the mir
ror and you will see it.
The brightest thing-rhe suns light
shot into Your eyes as it comes reflected
from the piece of looking glass in the
hands of the mischievous small boy.
The quickest. thing-The flea.
The coolest thing in the world-The
kitchen oilcloth 10 your bare feet on q
winter night.
The shortest thing-The memory of
the perpetual borrower.
In SITE OF ALL.-Wo saw boy nail
ing up u box the other day. contaia-
Ing some articles which he intended
sending by express. From The nature
OF Tie contents we knew il was essen.
tiSl that the box should not be inver-
ted on tue passage. SO we ventured
Tho suggestion to place the much-abus.
ed. This side up etc. conspicuousiy
on the cover. A few days after we saw
our boy again.
Heard from your goods yet? Did
they get there safely2'
Every one broke replied he, sullen.
!y. Lost the hull lot! Hang the ex-
press company
Did You put on This side up as We
told your
Yes, | did; an for fear they
shouldn't see it on the cover, | put
on the bottom, too! They've no ex-
for anpb 90 -aIaa,nooa
II was at the close Of the wedding
breakfast. One Of the guests arose and,
glaas in hand, said: L drink to the
heaiih OF the bridegroom. May he see
many days like this The intention
~as good, but the bride looked up as If
something had displeased her.
Speaking of swell dinner, where
Vic Ladies were dressed extremely de-
cJilote, somebody remarked that on the
table wore all the delicaoies Of the sea-
son. Yes said Fogg. and oil sorts Of
inde!icacies around H.
The HEN with the single chick makes
the most cackling, and the fewer ideas
man has the more noise he makes.
Pat bad been engaged TO Kill turtle
for neighbor, and proceeded immed-
ilteiy TO cut off it's head Pats atten-
ton was called to the fact that the tur-
tie still cra9led about, though it had
been dccopitaied, and lie explained (:
'Shrre the bast il entirely dead, only
q" s not yet coHsC.Jul oft.
j was 50 mad a. George last night, :
said girl, of her sweetheart. yes, ;
said her ill-nstured brother, 4 noticed
when locked in the parIor you we're
up IN arms
The most interesting letters the ed
itor gets, rs rule, arc those short pithy
ones, which simply say. Enclosed
please find subscription price to your
valuable paper for one year That out
weighs a dozen pages OF Reflections
or tie Dying Year or, Thoughts
on Discovering the First June Bug.
Ia primary school, not long ngo
Tie teacher undertook to convey TO he,
pupils an idea Of the use Of the hyphen
She wrote on the blackboard, birds
nest, and pointing to the hypben asked
the school. What is that forY Anei
a short pause, n young So OF the En-
ers!d Isle piped out, 'Plsz., ma'am, io
tho bird 20 roosht on