National Republican., 1883-04-02

an Nuklh IN ue low grOunds you dlsklVer as you
Dat the fines shuck may hide de mennes' nubbin
in row
never Judge o. people dat meets along de way
By de places whar dey come FUN and de houses
whar dey stay;
For de bantam chickens awful fond o. roostin
pretty high,
An de turkey buzzard sails above de eagle in dc
sky;
Dey ketches little minuers in de middle of dc sea,
An you finds de smalles poNsum up dc bigges"
k'hd o tree -NeO Oriedns Picayans
STARTLING discovery by southern paper:
The dude has two watch chains and no watch
THE dome of st. Peters at Rome lately
gistened with mantle of snow, the first in thir-
teen years.
GAN man marry on ten dollars week."
Is the oonundrum. Yes, he can, II he eau find the
girl who Is fool enough Hartford Post
Now that John Brown is dead, the queen
SHOULD get corset and u St. Bernard dog. Then
she VIII be SAFE Rochester Post Express.
GETTING Sober is the name of a New York
gentleman WHO has bought considerable property
in the town Of Total Wreck, Arizona Ter.
THE name of one of the successful novels Ia
Democracy" Success has been novel to tho
democracy for some years. Courier journal.
PROF. HUXLEY declares that tho mouse is a
harmless creature. Ladies'" says the Commercial
Adrcrtiser "can cut this out and paste 1t on their
mirrors,
THE New Orleans Picdytne with n twitching
countenance gives its middle an uneasy hitch and
remarks that "manya gay colored liver pad hides
a sad heart"
THE walls of Paris which are TO come
down, cover strip of ground lG0 feet wide aud %
miles long, aud the city will gain S2OOOO,OOO in
land by their removal.
AN Owen county (Ky,) hen sat on fifteen
eggs and brought out nineteen chickens says an
exchange. The hen must be a shrewd one, or else
there's newly hachod lie out
UNDER the heading, For Married Men," n
western paper publishes this item "An eastern
firm has just ordered 1,OOO,O 900 broom handles"
Now Is the time TO get up clubs.
THE Baltimore american owns modestly up
to fifty libel suits in fifteen years. Damages
claimed, 100000; disbursed, $500 1t scarcely
pays TO fight with newspaper.
The Rev. DR.. Dix howls because American
women do not bear larger families, but it isn't
likely that all his bowling will accomplish much
in the way of rcmedying the evil.-LouM Citizen.
THE advance guard of the Salvation army
Hus dpllcultu III NCOlsih III luG pOISOu Ol u man
named Mealy. 1t may, or 1t may not be his fiult
If his pulpit orations are called "Mealy -mouth.
ings'
A MAN who has a wife and seven grown
daughters to provide with spring bonnets looks
upen the passing of contribution box as an incl
dent unworthy of financial notce.-Rocieser Post
Express.
BLUCHER's first name was Gebhardt and
his father was Hessian. 1t will be remembered
that Gen. Bucher ON one occasion kept the great
Napoleon from having pie for suppcr.-Courier-
Journal.
A New YORK manufacturer of ice cream
has gone insane says the Detroit Free Press. They
found that he hud been experimenting with chalk
aud water aud flour, but he probably couldn't
fetch it.
Miss PARLoA. in her lecture in New York,
Tuesday, asserted that tough meat Is the health
lest. AT this a boarding house keeper, who was
ono of tho audience, clapped her hands vocifer-
ously.-Rochester PostErpress.
BRUTAL husband in the Atlanta Constitution.
There is no reason why young girl shouldn't be
married under floral parasol. Let her enjoy
herself while she may In few weeks-a few
months at farthest-she will be frying battcrcakes
over greasy stove.
GERMAN scientists say that skinned milk
Courier.Jolrndt man conversed recently with
one Of these scientists. The scientist had big
bell, and stopped his wagon at numerous houses
on his way through the city.
WILLIAM PENN, the founder of Ponnsyl-
vania wished to 20 home and be buried In Eng
land. 1t was an inspiration for he could not have
known that Philadelphiaus would come to steal
copper from the roofs OF the almshouses oyer
which they were placed as superintendents.-Nel
Orleans Picdyune.
IT is estimated that the daily sale of nat
ural flowers in Paris realizes some $4,000. Gar
denias are the most fashionable flower, and sell at
81 each; next come lilies Of the valley at 50 pot,
roses du roi and purple roses, vlolets and carna-
tions. The camelia, at one time SO highly priced
is entirely out of fashion.
JOHN BROWN "Ossawatimie john" John
Brown, "Rab and his Friends" John. John Brown,
Queen Vicorlas menial. Which will live the
longer in history The last named, just dead left
| millions, but they will not buy Immortality
| The other John Browns died poor. Which Que
would you prefer to have been?-Boson Herald.
AMONG the things taken by burglar from
I'm Illinois minister's house were box of tobacco,
six bottles of whisky, and pistol. The worldly
| youth of the Eonkers Statesman thinks that If the
| tobacco and whisky were the kinds raised in
Illinois the remorse which will deluge that burglar
when he samples them will no doubt give him an
opportunity to put the pistol to some sensible use.
A PoUGHKEEPsIE CLERGYMAN gave notice
| of special church service to be held in the
afternoon, concluding by saying that II would be
gratifying If "the choir would be present-at
least those that can sing" The members Of that
| choir were probably so mad that they forgot to
! quarrel among themselves for the space ofsoyeral
minutes, The dominic doubtless smiled sweetly
! in his sleeve at their discontinue,
A Missouri doctor tells this; "An old fell
| low on the state line, who claims to be a root
doctor, has but three medicines In his dispense =
) tory. lie names them respectively HibobdlOHm,
LObObdhirum, and HiobuSteml one is cathartc,
another nn emetic, and the last rank pizen,
which will burst his patients open. He makes
the first by peGlng the bark downward. the Sec
ond by peeing it upward, and the last by peeling
1t around"
A New York woman, whose husband was
pretty well of, got divorce, and was awarded
large aimony She went south-to Char lesion,
II is said-and lived in pretty good style the al
lowance that her husband had been ordered To
puy. After q while she married again, aud both
she and her husband are now living ON the ali-
mony paid by her first husband. The second hus-
band not only has the first husbands wife, but
lakes his money, too.
A NEW application of bituminous asphalt
for paving has been made In England with such
good results us to merit attention here, Limestone
is crushed, heated, and mixed with the Utumen
al $500 Fahrenheit The combination is then