The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1883-12-20
Clever Stretches.

was that adopted by Queen Elizabeth
famous Ambassador, DIR. Dale. On one
occasion, when dispatching letters to
the Secretary of State. he artfully sent
one addressed inside TO .'his dear Kate"
! in a cover addressed TO Her Most Ex-
cellent Majesty" The establishment
of the Queen when she opened the
miSsive and found herself addressed in
the most endearing terms, my deared,
my loved; petted and sweethearted, F"
can well be imagined. But when she
read the passage where she was made
acquainted with the state OF bis health
and the emptiness of his purse, she fell
at once into the trap, and, with unusual
liberality, relieved his necessities. An
other good story is told of the way in
which the same party got pecuniary
help from his royal mistress. Prior to
his departure for Flanders on State
business he had an audience of the
! Queen, when he was informed that he
was to receive a daily allowance OF
twenty shillings for expenses. Dale,
however, thought this sum very insult
! ficient, and was not at all satisfied with
| the amount. He was not slow in adopt
ing a method whereby his mistress
should be made acquainted with the
fact. He replied that he should spend
nineteen shillings day, and in answer
| to a question as to what would be done
with the other shilling, said: That l
shall keep for my Kate, and my boys,
| Tom and Dick.'' The hint was taken
and the allowance increased.
Every one has heard the story of how
Sir Walter Scott when boy cut OFF the
button from the waistcoat of his school
fellow, and by thus depriving him of
twirling the button when he was asked
question Ga peculiar habit he had got
/ into) Sir Walter reached the top OF his
class.
But the story of the clever physician
and the obstinate patient is not so well
known. The latter, who was VI est
of-England Bishop, and VIGOROUSLY
stanch Conservative, had for some time
been very i'll, and with other prescrip-
/ tions the doctor advised that at regular
intervals a small dose of brandy should
be administered. To this, however,
the prelate had a decided objection; he
obstinately refused to taste a drop of
the Intoxicating liquor. The physician
insisted. nay, even implored his patient
to take small quantity, but the Bishop
as firmly and politely declined. Here
was a dilemma. The probability was
that his obstinacy would be the cause
of his death. Few, in the same posi-
ton, would have been struck with the
same idea as the doctor. Quickly
walking to the bedside of the sick man,
he said: You are aware that Russell
is in office, and a Wing will be your
successor to the bishOpric. " That
touched him in weak point. Slowly
raising himself in the bed, he said:
Fetch the brandy, doctor; if necessary
| will drink a quart.
But by far the most singular method
of obtaining a desired end was that
which is accredited to Gretry. If he
happened to be walking with any one
who went too quick, or too slow, he
regulated their steps to his own by soft
ly singing or whistling a tune, the time
of which was in accordance with the
time he wished to be kept. He would
argue: "To say you walk too fast, or
too Slow is impolite. but to sing softly
an air to the time of the walk of your
companion, and then by slow degrees
either to quicken the time or to make it
slower, is strategem as innocent as 1t
is convenient"
Stage robberies in Mexico were even
until lately very frequent, but at the
time of the French occupation OF the
State they were of almost daily occur
renee. To put a stop to these cOntlnu-
al robberies the French commander hit
upon a capital idea. Half dozen ZOu-
ayes were dressed in ladies attire,
closely yelled, and sent as passengers
in the next stage. They carried thell
carbines beneath the folds OF their dress.
As we expected, the mail was stopped
and the ladies" leaving with the
other passengers, drew up in line, as
was the custom. a few PAGES from the
vehicle, while the searching was going
on. Suddenly the .'ladies" raised their
carbines and performed the strangely
unfeminine act of shooting stone dead
some dozen robbers. 1t is perhaps
needless to add that this served as a
warning to the stage robbers on that
route at least, it being only necessary
from thenceforth to display shawl
and bonnet to secure Il comfortable
passage.
A device somewhat similar TO the
foregoing, but in which the robbers, OF
robber, reaped the benefit, was that OF
Hounslow Heath highwayman.
This ingenious rascal procured large
quantity of straw, old clothes, and hall
dozen pistols His next step was to
stuff the old clothes with the straw,
fastening the pistols in the Outstretched
hands of his mock companions, and
then rear them against tree. Pres
emily carriage came rafting along,
and the usual cry of ''Halt!' rang out.
The coachman, with the cold muzzle
of a pistol to his forehead, of course
complied. The inmates of the coach.
being shown the figures of the men,
which in the dark could only be imper'
fectly distinguished, yielded to what
they thought to be superior forces.
and the coach being robbed it was al
lowed to proceed on its journey.
Very cleverly, too, were a company
of Uhlans outwitted during the Franco,
Prussian war. A farmer who wa;
warned that these unwelcome visitor:
might be expected at any moment and
make raid on his property, set to
work in the following adrOit manner
He literally clothed his cows, sheep and
goats in cast-off petticoats and gown;
of his wife and daughter, torn trow.
sers, sheets and blankets. Then 8
large quantity of medicine bottles were
placed in conspicuous positions in the
field. in the center of all large squirt
Finally the Uhlans did arrive, and with
wonder they gazed at the grotesquely.
attired animals. The plague! the