Tolland County press., 1883-02-01
MARK TWAIN's BAROMETER.

Somebody was asking Hartford man how it happened that Mark Twain wrote and published so little nowadays. 'tHe writes as much as ever, was the reply, "but his barometer is out of order, and he does not know what to publish, 50 he publishes nothing" 8f
 'sWha5 in the world has his barometer to do with his literary activity ?"
 "His barometer is man-servant named Jacob, who is remarkable for his efficient sense Of humor. Mark can ever judge of F the merit of his own performances. Years ago he fell into the habit of testing every thing. that he wrote by observing its eff fects upon Jacob. If Jacob listened to the reading of the article, jest or story, with unmoved countenance, or merely smiled in perfuuctory way, Mark was Isatished, and sent the manuscript to the printer But if Jacob laughed outright, or gave any other indication of genuine merriment, the humorist concluded that the stuff was hopeless and withheld it from publication. He regarded Jacob as I infallible, and came to lean on his iudg- ment.
 "ASout three years ago, it appears, Ja- cob learned for the first time from some outsider that his master WAS a professions al humorist. He felt greatly honored I that he should have been chosen habitual- ly to enjoy the first freshness of every new production of genius. He did not exactly understand why he should have
 been thus chosen, but felt in vague way that great hamorist must need sympathy
 and appreciation, and must naturally leok for it to the fellow being nearest at hand. He also felt that he had failed to be at all
 times sufficiently appreciative. So Jacot
 kept his discovery to himself as far as his
 master was concerned, and resolved to be
 as appreciative in the future as any body
 could desire.
 J "One day Mark called Jacob in and
 read him sketch entitled 'The Cow and the Lightning rod men,. In composing
 it Mark had hattered himself that he hac
 struck pretty fine streak. To his amaze
 ment Jacob put his head back and roared
 With half suppressed ejaculation Mark
 dashed the manuscript into the waste pa
 per basket. "Then Mark waited six weeks or two l months to collect his forces Gor he is nev
 CT precipitate in anything hs does), ant
 achieved 8 romance called How Bounc ed the Baby He summoned Jacob ans watched his face with obvious anxiety as . he read the touching narrative. JacobI
 mirth was painful to observe. Mark tore
 up the story and then tore his hair. "Two or three experiments of this sort with unvarying results, persuaded Marl
 Twain that the malaria which he has beer 7 dreading ever since 1t began to creep III
 the Connecticut valley, has reaohed' hin at last and destroyed his powers of use fitness. He fell into settled melancholy His friend, the Rev. Mir. Twichell, triet Tn vain to cheer him up. Perhaps sug gested Twichell, your man has really cul
 tisated sense of humor, so that yor must no longer judge by opposites. Marl shook his head and borrowed volume O Jonathan Edwards sermons from hi
 friends library. He copied out long passage from the discourse on eterna
 punishment, and palmed it off on Jacol ] as his own latest effort For the frs time in history. the gloomy periods pro { voked peals of laughter. Jacob held hi sides and shook all over. Then he sud denly stopped, his countenance becam, ,. blank, turned pale, and he incontinentl, fled. He had seen murder in his master'
 eyes.
 f ''That," said the Hartford man, in con , olusion, ''is why Mark Twain does no 3 write. He hung his reputation as hu 3 morlst upon his barometer, and his ba rometer no longer works"