Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1883-01-04

The I-and-sside Case.

Ihere Is peeuliarity In the way some people
do things. Among the court journals may be
found some quaint cases, disposed Of In DAYS
gone lol these many years. Away back in the
days when lawyers were in the habit of playine
Jokes upon each other, job was put up on ons
of the leading attorneys, and was known IS the
| landslide case" The plaintiff in this case
proceeded to relate to his lawyer (who we win
call Jones) how his land was covered up, every
single vestige, to depth of six feet He want
ed his land, the land of his neighbor, for his
neighbor wouldn't move of, but said he liked it
better than when ;s was higher up the hill, and
more, it was his and he was going>to keep it.
The plaintiff was bound to go to law, and did.
Jones, ever ready to meet any case, said: "Rest
easy, rest easy, and collect the witnesses; for
the victory is Just as certain as if the conflict
was already over" In due time the case came
on to be heard; witnesses were called-three-
fourths of them were called by the defendant,
but no matter, their testimony invariably went
in favor Of the plaintiff. Each new witness only
added new testimony to the absurdity to a mans
claiming to own another man 5 property because
his farm had slid down on top of it. Then the
defendants lawyers made their speeches, and
seemed to make singularly weak ones-they
did really nothing TO help the defendants cause.
And now Jones, with great glow OF triumph
on his face, got up and made mighty effort;
hs-pounded the table, banged the law books,
swung his hands around in a circle, shouted
and roared and howled-he quoted from every
thing and everybody; poetry, sarcasm, statis-
tics, history, psthos and blasphemy, and wound
up with warwhoop of free speech, freedom of
the press, free schools (free whisky and NJ
Sunday, the glorious bird of America and the
principles of eternal Justice 10 all men-white
or black, high or low Then the judge leaned
Ii. ]. r.
thinking profoundly, and then he got up and
stood erect, with bended head and thought
again. In the meantime the still audience
waited breathlessly for his decision. Wearing
upon his face fraudulent solcmnity so awe
inspiring, he Strengthened up, and said: Gen
tlcmen, ! feel the great responsibility that
tests upon ME this day. This is no ordinary
case. On the contrary, it is plain that il is the
most solemn and awful that ever man Was cali
I'd upon to decide. | have listened attentively
to the evidence, and also to the remarks of
counsel with high interest-and especially will
commend the mastery and irrefutable logic
Of the distinguished gentleman who represented
the plaintiff. But, gentlemen, let us beware
how We allow human testimony, human inge-
nuity in argument, and human ideas of equity
to influence US to our undoing at a moment SO
solemn as thisl Gentlemen, it i'll becomes Us,
worms as we are, TO meddle with the decree of
heaven. 1t is plain to me that heaven, in its
inscrutable wisdom, has seen fit to move this
defendants land for purpose. We are but
creatures, and we'must submit If heaven has
chosen to favor the defendant in this marked
and wonderful manner; and if heaven, unsatis-
fed with the position of defendants land upon
the hillside, has chosen to remove it to pO-
sition more eligible aud more advantageous for
its owner, it i'll becomes US insects as we are
to question the legality of the act No-heavcn
created the lands, and it is heavens preroga-
tive TO re-arrsnge them TO experiment with
them; to shift them around at its pleasure.
warn you that this thing which has happened is
thing with which the sacrilegious hands and
brains and tongues of men must not meddle
Gentlemen, it is the verdict of this court that
the plaintiff has been deprived of his land by
the visitation of Godl And from this decision
there is no appeal" Jones seized his cargo of
law books and plunged out of the court room
madman, almost. In all good faith he returned
at night and demonstrated with the judge upon
his e1travagant decision, and implored him TO
see if he could not figure out some sort of mOdi-
6cation of the verdict. The judge yielded at
last, and was of opinion that the plaintiff had
a right to dig it out from under there, and
Jones never waited to hear the end of it. He
was always an impatient and irascible man, thai
way. AT the end of two weeks ne got it through
his understanding that he had been PLAYED upon
with joke.