Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1883-08-08
VOL. XII.
The Pastoral GimIaf.

home for week. During his absence the
son of member who lived several miles
out of town died. He did not hear of the
young mans death until he returned
Then he was taken sick, and it was week
or ten days before he could safely drive
out and visit bis afflicted parishoner. Tue
first words which greeted his ears were
"Well, l thought you'd forgotten us;" ant
then the good woman sat complacently
down to be console,t.
That is what l mean by the pastora
gimlet, and it is astonishing how proficient
certain church members become in its use
The delicacy in insinuating, the defines.
and grace in twisting, can only have beer
acquired by assiduous practice. They
know Just where it will 60 in most easily
just how many turns to give it before il
gets down to the quick.
There are various scientific twists of the
gimlet known to adopts and to victims.
| There is the sarcastic twist Hostess
enters the parlor. and grects pastor thus
Good afternoon. DR.. A really the sigh
OF you is refreshing, Have you found out
at last where we liveP'
| There is the business twist: "Do you
know that you haven't been inside our
house for six monthsP" Parsons, as well
as mathematic clans, are painfully aware
that figures can't lie; SO that this twist is
a peculiarly effective one, usually trans.
| fixing the victim, and reducing him at
once TO condition of silent helplessness.
Then there is the reproachful twist, also
very effective-tremendously so if the
twister can manage to start a "silent
tear"-"Really, we began to doubt whether
we had any pastor"
And once in awhile we are treated to the
spteful twist, in administering which the
operator, or more commonly the operatrix,
is at no pains to conceal her fell intent,
but drives the unoiled gimlet in with a
steady hand; or, in other words, gives
the parson a sharp "setting down. on his
shortcomings.
The men who vince under this instru.
ment are the Conscientious pastors, W o
are forever haunted by the vague sense of
work in arrears and constantly tormented
with self reproach because they do not
bring it up. The gmlet is terrible thing
to such one. He knows the gimlet
houses as well as doctor knows where
small pox is. He braces himself to visit
them once or twice year. He says
jocosely to friend at the gate, II know
there is rod in pickle for me here" He
sits down to his work very much as if he
were going to have tooth filled, meets
the twist of the gilnlet without portraying
his inward writings. kneels down and
prays with the gimlet twisters, and rises
from his knees TO meet parting thrust.
as thus. "Now that you've found the way
here, hope that we shall see you often"
And as he goes down the steps he looks
into his book, and, seeing that the next
place on the list is also gimlet house, he
says to himself, mot to-day; one day is
all l can stand.' You cheerful, sunny,
sympaLhizing souls, God bless you-who
perhaps excite the jealousy of your neigh,
bors because the minister drops in" at
your houses so much oftener than at
theirs-does it never occur to you that he
comes almost as much for his own sake as
for yours, because he knows you always
have oil and wine in your casks fer the
wounds of the gimletp
Now, We gimlet twisters, ye pastor
perforators, lift up your voices and answer:
What do you want pastoral visit forp
about your temptations and trialsP Do
you want instruction on some question of
Christian experienced Do you want to
discuss some scheme of Christian enter
prisep Not you No lawyer is more
adroit in turning the conversation the
moment it takes any such direction. Let
the pastor take up the gimlet in his turn,
and probe your heart, and lay bare your
poor, starved, stunted, religious life; let
him tax you vigorously with your absence
from prayer meetings or Sabbath worship,
and you will not complain of the scarcity
of pastoral visits. The truth is. you do
not desire counsel, nor comfort, nor Chris
tian communion, but attention. Your
PASTORS absence wounds your pride. You
care little about his doing the work he
was especially called 10 do for you, but
you are vexed because he does not concede
more to your importance. You are not
thirstng for living water. but for the tacit
flattery of attention, thus seeking 10 con-
vert the messenger whom Christ sends
with living bread to your home and heart
into minister to your vanity. The people
whose hands are idle, whose purses are
shut, whose voices are against every
enterprise which involves sacrifice and
labor, are the people who are masters of
the gimlet.-Dr. N. R. Wncent