Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-11-14
Wednesday WaggcrIes.

Red is the natural color of young baby. but
afterWard it becomes yeller.
Bath man opened his mouth so wide that
dislocated his jaw. This Is what comes of
sitting up late to hear ones wife and another
another woman talk bonnet -BurlinqtOn Free
Press.
Young women should not forget that Goliah
died from the effects of bang on his forehead
Says writer on table etiquette: ':If YOU are
OF a party to dinner or lunch wait BY your chair
until all seat themselves" If this rule is riridly
observed the dinner or lunch is apt to get cold
before the company is successfully seated.
NO" said a new.brde. 81 don't anticipate
any trouble in managing Henry. Ihave turned
the job over to nv m other She has expe-
rience. she has. "-HOtel Mail
A New York 'societv" Young lady. who
heard Matthew Arnold's first lecture. says she
doesn't think much of his abilities as an orator,
but she can recommend his writing fluid
No1Tisto'rn HrWld. ,
There is already six inches Of snow in
northern Maine. and that section must be a per
feet paradise for a girl with a sealskin sacaue
She can wear It nine months in the wear and
carryt on her arm for an evening wrap during
the other three.
Philadelphia sneak thief was recently de-
tected in the market stealing celery. When
caught he had already slipped $3.50 worth into
his inside coat pocket.-Ecening CdN
True. other armies have more fighting than
oars. but the army of the United States has it's
Phil-Bost0n transcript.
There are three kinds of ladies-the lady. the
real lady, and the perfect lady. The perfect
lady is rot respectable the real lady may be: the
lady is. The nOblest type of ladyhoOd is an
honest woman.
When mans wife comes in and sees him.
razor in hand. and with his face all lather. and
asks him: Are you shaving?" it's provoking
n m ~
stove, but it is In human nature to 80 reply
Several people have been poisoned recently
by eating bologna sausage. This is the result OF
allowing dogs to wear brass collars.-Philadel-
phid Herald
Teacher-'What do you understand by the
expression. AS one star dffereth from another
star in glOry'!' Bright pupil-''It probably re-
fers to theatrical stars, who are always quarrel
ling about something or other, and they seem to
glory in It,"
Simperton-You've heard that Browne has
married again? Chttergale-No Has he? What
fool? He didn't deserve to lose his first wife.
| (Ihey take comfort at the buffet.)
There is one thing to be said in favor of
| John Bright, says an exchange; she is not COM
! ing to make money" There is another thing to
| be said in his favor; he is not coming at ali
| Cincinnati Enquirer.
'Dces your Helen remind you or Helen of
Troy she asked, sweetly as the sofa springs
fattened under pressure of 100 pounds. NO,
| not precisely; you remind me more of Helen of
Avoirdupois," was the scaly reply.
! Small boy: "Pa. did you know ma long befor e
you married herr!
Pa: II didn't. didn't know her until long
after married her" Philadelphia Progress.
Nine. CORDIAL and her amiable husband have
sometimes moments Of expansion, and it then
seems as though their .quarrels would be en-.
tirely forgotten.
ooh my poor DEAR how much love you"
"And l, too, my adored wife,"
''Tell me, if should die would you marry
again?"
| "Ah, no."
''You are love of man.
"Really," adds CORDIAL, 'being caught one<
Is quite enough for me!"--Boston Courier