The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-06-29
HUMOR.

the picture" Of despair.
A BEE often meets with reverses, but
as rule he is successful in the end.
"HoEY smoker yelled the policeman
when he saw that church was about to
blaze.
A NAN In Rochester has such
cracked voice that he rarely says any
thing without breaking his word.
LIZ you will let the children play with
the chessmen, you must not complain
If they turn out to be pawn-brokers.
DIR. POTTER, of New York, laments
"the decay of ent usiasm." he should
watch the small boy on the morning OF
the circus. Post,
A GENIUS advertised-"A sewingm
chine for 20 cents in stamps" and his
dupes did not see the point until they
received a cambria needle.
JEEMs says his boarding house is too
slow. He told the old lady yesterday
that hereafter he'd like to dynamite
earlier. Hartford Journal
No MATTER how hard it is to find
rocking-chair during the day, man is
sure to fall over one when he is in
search of the matchbox after dark
PEOPLE who think themselves smart
go about asking questions like this:
"Can rope walk?" We say yes-when
it is taut.-Sa1s Froncisco Ne1US Let
ter.
IYa cyclone should pass this way,
very few of our tallest, and largest
buildings would be affected. The mort
cages on them would hold them down,
and would prevent them from being
blown away.-CarL Pretzeps Weekly.
What is lighter than a feather?
The dust that blows in summer weather.
What's lighter than the dust, i pray?
The wind that blows the dust away.
And what h lighter than the windp
The lightness of a woman's mind.
And what Il lighter than the last?
Ah- there, my friend, you have me fast
THE LoNG-woRN swALLow-TAIL..
You all do know this swallow-tail. remember
The first time e'er the Jester put 1t on.
Twas on an autumn evening In his room
The night he lectured down in Wilkesbarre.
Look, in this place he sat down on tack;
See where he spilled plate of oyster soup;
Here's where a little child climbed in his lap,
And as it pllcked its sticky claws away
Mark how the marks OF candy followed them.
-BUrtington Hdrk-Eye.
"TERRA GOTTA" said countrywoman
in Boston store, repeating the name
after the clerk SIS that French for
cinnamon "Not that / know of,
madam" answered the Sinking sales
man. La, you needn't laugh; Eve
known the color before you were born,
but / never heard it called nuthin' but
cinnamon brown"
THREE THOUSAND depositors in Con-
necticut savings banks have not made
inquiries about their money for twenty
years past, says an exchange. There
is a season of glad surprise in store for
many Of those depositors when they
learn howmany Cashiers aud Presidents
of the banks have been living in quiet
seclusion in some foreign land, with
their money, through all these years.
Peck'S Slt7I.
A CINCINNATI paper says that zone of
the most useful yet neglected of all the
arts is that of lying in bed" After a
Cincinnati editor has been lying in the
editorial chair AL day, or perhaps two
thirds of the night, We shouldn't think
he would worry much about lying in
bed. Lying in bed may be neglected
art-especially among tramps-but the
mother who has to yell six separate
tunes in the morning to get her 14-year-
old boy out of bed will not believe it
NOrriStolc11 Herald.
HAVE you seen the new style, of
sleeping ears ," inquired drummer of
the conductor. mo, think not" he
replied. "What are they like?" well,
they differ from any L have yet seen;
and L don't think they will be very
popular" What are they called ?"
prohibition cars" That's some-
what-singrllar name," thoughtfllly
unused the ticket-taker. why are
they so called?" Because" said the
cute. commercial traveller, 'they won't
have any porter aboard. "-Druke,s
Trareler's Magazine