News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-12-20
TERMS $3.50.
WIT AND WISDOM.

d Dome good is the only certainl
d happy action of a mans life.
1t The censure of those that are oppc
;, site to us is the incest commendatio
that can be given to us.
HE who has a thousand friends has not
. friend to spare,
And he who has one enemy shall meet hir
2 everywhere"
: 81 WILL stake my opinions agains
5 any MANS" said Mr.. LittIewait
| proudly. 81 got 'em from my lawyer
and they cost me $3.50"
To BE happy, the passion must be
cheerful and gay, not gloomy and mel
anchoIy. A propensity to hope and Joy
is real riches; one to fear and sorrow,
real poverty.
A TENDER conscience is an inestima-
BILE blessing; that is, a conscience not
only quick to discern what is evil but
instantly to shun it, as the eyeHd closes
itself against a mote.
AS THEY who, for every slight infrm-
! ity, take physic to repair their health,
do rather impair it; SO they, who for
every trifle, are eager to vindicate their
character, do rather weaken it.
AN old soldier in Milwaukee has been
asleep nearly a month, all efforts to
rouse him proving futile. He must
have served on the police force after
leaving the army.
LOvELADY is the name of a Texas
town where two roughs cut Mr.. Mont
Finger to pieces while his wife and child
stood by pleading for his life. A name
doesn't mean much, in Texas.
SIS YOU gwine to get an overcoat this
winter % asked Bowery boy of a COM
panion. "Well, I dunno how dat's
gwine to be" he replied. "T's done got
my eye on a coat, but de fellah dat owns
it keeps his eye on it, too"
QUITE a number of cases where girls
have been deceived by mock marriages
| have been reported of late, which impels
The Hotel Mail to remark that no girl
has any business marrying a man that
she hasn't known at least ten minutes.
THE Toronto Globe finds in a list of
the nillionaires of New York the name
of one who used to be a printer in the
office of that paper at $125 q week.
This must be the ''intelligent compost
tor" whom we have all herd of but have
never seen.
IT IS currently reported that a rich
young lady Of Eric, Pa, is going
to marry Hamilton Mccormick, of Chi
cago. We deem it our solemn duty to
inform the bride that her prospective
husband is the inventor of threshing
machine.
A BOSTON paper relates that an old
gentleman from the country who visited
! that city the other day and had never
been in n large town before, remarked
| after making n tour of tho business sec
ton II don't like this Boston. Eher
isn't enough out-of-doors to it.
ga PHILADELPHIA scientist can tell
on examining Il hair pin, the color of tn
owners hair" And a Philadelphia
woman, on examining a hair found OF
the shoulder of her husbands coat, cal
tell whether he has lied or not-and she
is not a scientist, either.-NO1Ti8to1cn
| HcrG1d.
EVERY subscriber for a country paper
can do much for the paper by becoming
a reporter for it. That would greatly
help the editor in getting out readable
sheet, The trouble with the average
subscriber is that he is not content with
being a reporter. He wants to write the
editorials.
A RICH miser has niece whom he
proclaims to be his unique heiress, but
who has never seen any of his money
"Your niece is twenty years old, says
friend. "you ought to do something
toward getting her settled" "WeH,
replied the miser, after reflection, -
will pretend to be ILL.,
CHOW MUCH do you think you can ge
along on, my son? want 10 allow yor
enough to make a decent appearance Il
society, but yet will not countenane'
extravaganza. "Just my idea, dad
think. say, about so, 600 year-and-
er-expenses, you know, would be abou
the thing"
A PHILADELPHIA PAPER REMARKS
John Swinton's grievance against VIII
iam Vanderbilt is, that the gentleman
wealth would, if put in gold coin, over
burden twenty-six elephants. Thu
through the rugged crags and peaks
MIR. Swinton's character, shine the pur
soft rays of his devotion to the cause c
preventing cruelty to animals.
ONCE more the bucllwheat batter is battered
battered battered,
S And maidens' fair compilations are shattered
shattered, shattered,
O As they eat the pancake luscious brot ffoi
kitchen, kitchen, kitchen,
And their tender cpidermis gins to itchel
: itchen, itchen.
81 BELIEVE I'll have to reduce you
wages. John, said miserly employe
: to one of his help the other day. ''Whe
for ?" was the query. because thing
are coming down. The necessaries
; life are cheaper, and you can afford
get along on smaller pay" 81 shoul
like to know what necessaries Of life ~
; cheaper said John "beef is as hi9
as ever, flour hasn't dropped cent, an
u coal is as dear as ever" "Well," sal
u the employer, as he turned away, 81
any rate, the price of postage staml
L has been reduced one-third.
}. TIE WASHINGTON (Ga.D Gazette tie
;, of n farmer in Wilkes county, tn
c State, who has on his place an old neg
) who this year worked n blind mul
5 The negro lived On a rather out-of-tl
l. way part of the plantation, and ii
1t farmer in the first part Of the yea
speaking from the prospects OF Il
years labors said: "Wen, we wor
count the old man, he's got bin
II mule" But old Uncle Ned work
d ahead MS best he could. and it ne
turns out that he beat the whole plant
a ton farming-he aud his blind mu
a raising larger crops than any other m
IS and mule on the place.
', JAv-FyE-SEE THE fastest trotter