The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1883-02-28

lot OF court plaster, enough to
make q shirt, should think. What
Is she doing with 30 much court
plsster9" asked The grocsrymaa of
The bad boy, IS hecamein sDd pull
ed of his boots by the stove and
emptied out lot Of snow, that bad
collected as he walked through a
drift, on the hearth, which melted
and made a bad smell.
"Oh, | guess she is going to patch
pa up so he will hold water. Pas
temper got him into the worst muss
Iyou ever see, last night. If that
museum was here now they would
hire pa and exhibit him as the tat
toed man. / tell you, have got too
old to be mauled as though l was
kid, and any man who attacks me
from this out, wants to have his
peace made with the insurance COM
panies, and know that his calling
and election is sure, because am
bad man, and don't you forget it. |"
And the boy pulled on his boots and
looked so cross and desperate that
the groceryman asked him if he
wouldn't try a little new cider.
Good heavens" said the grocery
man, as the boy swallowed the ci-
der, and his face resumed its natural
look, and the piratical frown disap-
peared with the cider. "You have
not stabbed your father, have you2
| nave feared that one thing would
bring on another, with you, and that
you would yet be hung"
Nav, | haven't stabbed him. 1t
was another cat that stabbed him.
You see pa wants me to do all the
work around the house. The other
day he bought load of kindling
wood, and told me to carry it into
sFthe basement. | have not been ed
ucated up to kindling wood, and I
didn't do it. When supper time
came, and pa found that / had not
carried in the kindling wood, he had
hot box, and he told me if that
wood was not in when he came back
from the lodge, that he would warm
my jacket. Well. / tried to hire
some one to carry it in, and got
man to promise to come in the morn
ing, carry it in and take his pay in
groceries, and / was going to buy
the groceries here and have them
charged to pa. But that wouldn't
help me out that night | knew
when pa came home he would search
tor me- So | slept in the back hall
on a cot. But | didn't want pa to
have all his trouble for nothing, so
| borrowed an old tom cat that my
chum's old maid aunt owns and put
the cat in my bed. l thought if pa
came to my room after me, and
found that by his unkindness that [
had changed To a tom cat, he would
be sorry. That is the biggest cat
you ever see, nd the worst fighter
in our ward. IL isn't afraid of any,
thing, and can whip New Found
land dog quicker than you could put
sand in barrel Of sugar. Well,
about i O'Clock | heard pa tumbling
over the kindIing wood, and | knew
by the remark he made, as the wood
slid around under him, that there
was going to bea cat fight real quick.
He came up to mas room, and
sounded ma as 10 whether Hennery
had retired to his virtuous couch.
Pa is awful sarcastic when he tries
to be. | could hear him take off
his clothes, and hear him say, as he
picked up a trunk strap, i guess |
will go up to his room and watch
the smile on his face as he dreams
of angels | yearn to press him to
my aching BOSOM l thought to
myself. mebbe you won't yearn so
much directly. He came up stairs,
and l could hear him breathing
hard. / looked out around the COR
ner and could see he just had on his
shirt and pants, and his suspenders
were hanging down, and his bald
head shone like q calcium light just
before it explodes. Pawent into my
room, and up to the bed; and /
could hear him say, come out here
and bring in that kindling wood, or
/ will start FIRE on your base burn
er with this strap
And then there was q yowling
such as I never heard before, and pa
said, Helen Blazes,' and the furni-
ture in my room began to fall around
and break. o, my! think pa took
the tom cat right by the neck, the
way he does me, and then left all
the cats feet free TO- get in their
work. By the way the cat squalled
as though it was being ehoked, /
know pa had him by the neck. ]
suppose the cat thought pa was
whole flock Of New Foundiand dogs,
and the cat had record on dogs, and
it kicked awful Pas shirt was no
protection at all in cat fight, and
the cat Just walked all around pas
stomach, and pa yelled police and
fire. and turn on the hose, and he
called ma, and the cat yowled. II
pa had had the presence of mind
enough TO have dropped the cat, or
rolled it up in the mattress, it would
have been all right, but a man al
ways gets ratified in time of danger,
and ne held onto the cat and started
down stairs yelling murder, and he
met ma coming up. l guess mas
night cap, or something, frightened
the cat some more, cause he stabbed
ma on the night shirt with one hind
foot, and ma said mercy on Us. and
she went back, and pa stumbled on
IA hand sled that was on the stairs,
and they all fell down, and the cat
got away and went down in the coal
bin and yowled all night. Pa and
ma went into their room, and l guess
they annointed themselves with
vaseline and Ponds extract, and i
went and got into my bed, cause it
was cold out in the ball, and the cat
had warmed nay bed as well as it
had warmed pa. 1t was all could
do to go to sleep, with pa and ma
talking all night, and this morning
I came down the back stairs, and
haven't been TO breakfast, cause !
don't want to see pa when ne Is vex-
ed. You let the man that carries In
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