Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-07-27
PLEASANT.RIES.

ILIAOAIs11 l1LSSs
UNEASY lies the head where the mos
quito reigns.
A RAcE-HoRsE, like the law, must al
ways take its course.
THE reason Eve tempted Adam is be-
cause man never comes before Eve.
The Colorado beetle has travelled to
Europe, but the mosquito stays to hum.
A cRoEs-EYED woman often possesses
better temper than sweet-mouthed
one.
In an photographic humor Boileau
wrote: GA fool always finds some one
more foolish than he is to admire him."
BEFORE the wedding day she was
dear and he was her treasure; but after
ward she became dearer and he treas
urer.
THEY asked Chicago man whether
he was an optimist or a pessimist, and
he said neither. He always voted the
straight ticket.
A JERSEY man has invented cigar
holder, by means of which a man can
smoke three cigars at one time; but,
alas no man can invent q three-bar-
relied beer-glass.
"YoU horrid man, what have you been
drinking?7 she screamed. Nothing
strong (hic), my love-" he said, aonly
Kissengen." Kissing gin" she returned;
show tastefully and truthfully you ex-
press yourself" The Judge.
MATER-"So you enjoyed your walk,
Katie? Did you go all that distance
alone?" Daughter -%Oh, yes, NAM
ma, quite alone" Beastly brother
"Then how is it, Kit, you took an um-
brella and brought home walking
stick?"
A oLAssICIsT and a naturalist are
talking over the last storm. $50 our
friend was actually killed by stroke of
lightning" says the classicist. Exactly
So" "He persisted as Ajax did, defying
Jupiter?" mo, he was eating some
peas stewed in oil."-Paris Figaro.
The gentleman stepped on the coal
dealers platform scales and asked to be
weighed. The dealer said, "Why, GER
tainly" and called to the man inside to
take the weight. And the man thought
it was coal he was weighing, and shout
ed back the weight 600 pounds.-Bos-
tom Post.
LEAN man to fat acquaintance
Hello! Smith, pretty hot to-day, isn't
it? Even your shirt appears to be an
inconvenient covering for you" eyes,"
replied Smith, pausing to wipe the pers-
piration from his face and neck with
his handkerchief; at makes me wam-
sutta speak. THE Judge.
OATMEAL is really very good thing
to make the skin fine and soft, if it is
used in cold water as a wash. We al,
ways had notion that oatmeal could
be put to some good use. Heretoforeit
has been principally used by cranks who
keep boarding houses as means of kill
ing appetites for breakfast.
"YoU say you can't pay your rent
now?" "No, I can't pay it right now.
1t takes all my money to support my
family, provisions are SO high in AUS
tin" when do you think you will be-
able to pay up?" "Just as soon as beer
gets down to cents schooner, I'll be
able to lay up 50 Or So day, and then
I'll be able to liquidate my indebted
ness."-Teras SJtiogs.
JUDGE DAVID DAVIS, a rich old Aus
tin bachelor, grossly insulted his land
lady, the widow Flapjacl. He had been
away for several months, and when he
returned he found that great many of
the old boarders had left and new ones
had taken their places. at must feel
like home to you to get back to us once
more" said the widow, insinuatingly.
at makes me sad to come back here,
Madam" replied the Judge, gravely.
@WhS how is that, Judge?" @There are
so many new faces at the table. Yours
is the only old face that I recognize"