The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1883-04-13
HUMOR OF TIE DAY.

A relic hunter-A fellow eldeavo
ing to capture a widow.
Thieves are always willing to "tal
a hand" in any business.
A sound education can only be Oh
tanned from a music master.
Spring fashions prevail al the yea|
round at the Circus.-NeU YoIt
Journdq.
a man Lately married, was asked
the club about his bride. "Is sid
pretty p "No," replied he, "she
not, but she will be when her fathe
dies"
Literary query: a new book is ed
titled "Short Sayings of Great Men.
When are we to have Che Great san
ings of Short Men ?'-NeW YorC
NelcS.
Nothing so strongly tests a mani
veracity as 30 be summoned to thu
door to be confronted by the question
care you the head of the house y
YOnkejS STATESMAN.
Careful housekeeper at breakfast
"Bridg It, Bridget, there's a fly in th|
room." "Yis, india lie, ma'am, l know
there is. 1t got in this mgrning, whe}
me back was turned
Painted sasheS are said to be FASH
ionable, but on the crossroads TIL
weather-beaten pine-sash, with IN Oh
hat supplying the place of glass, mai
still be seen.--BOstOn BuIletin.
1t was Darling George" when !
bridal couple left Omaha; it wal
dear George" at Chicago; at Detroit
it was George" and when the]
reached Niagara Falls it was "Saj
you"
a calculation shows that a DUNDEE
spinner must spin sixty miles of yara
to earn 80. Almost any country stor|
can produce men that will spin |
longer yarn for nothing.-Pittsbur!
Telegraph.
Lightning struck n contribution
plate in a Western church just as thu
deacon was passing it around. "Thi|
is the first time anything has strucA
this plate for three months" said thu
deacon, thoughtfully.
Everything is as regular as clock
work about my house." sli1 Brown
who was showing the splendors of hi
new residence to some of his friends
"Yes,' said Fogg, lit is tick, tick
all the time, L suppose."-Bostor
transcript.
A iye.year-old who went to schoo
for the first time came home at noon
and said to his mother: Mamma, |
don't think that teacher know!
much" "Why not, dear" why
she kept asking questions all the time
She asked wher4 the Mississippi rive
was"
A girl, seven or eight years old
slipped down on Woodward avenu,
the other day. As she was picking
herself up Il pedestrian said Don
cry, sissy" who's going to-" sh,
sharply demanded, as she rose up
Il guess whtn a girl has got he
mothers shawl on she amt going t.
let anybody know she's hurt ."-Ds
troit Free Press.
Two little girls met on the street tn,
other day, and M said to the other
"I've put all my dolls into deer
mourning, and it's so becoming t.
them, Come over and see them
"What did you do that for?' "Oh
we had a c'lamity Our dog got killed
and there didn't anybody car but mi
and them we've just cried our eye
out" Then the other little girl sal,
in slow, deliberate tones MAY vii
son, amt you lucky, though? There
always something happening you
Detroit Post.
WHY SHE'S so CHARMING.
Poets may sing of houris fair,
With oh, such wealth of golden hair;
Such eyes, such lips such-I don't care,
They can't compare with Jessie
Painters may blend their colors bright,
With rainbow tints and soft moonlight,
But never in their widest flight
Could they come near my Jessie.
Sculptors may chisel from the stone
Ideals that need but breath alone
To live and move, and yet not one
Could ever equal Jessie.
You ask me why this maiden rare
So charming is beyond compare?
Well, her papa's a millionaire
An only child my Jessie