The Sunday herald. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1866-1887, 1883-01-14
HinRa faN NfshiaaesI.O

" Say, are you Mason, or nodfellOw, or
anythngg' asked the bad boy of the grocery man as
ho TO the cinnamon box the shelf and took out
a long stick Of cinnamon bark to chew.
'Why, yes, OF course am; but what set you to
think OF thatP'' asked the grocery man. as he went
to the desk and charged the boy father with half
pound OF cinnamon.
'Wel do the goats butt when you nishlate fresh
candldate?"
"No. Of course not. The goats cheap ones, that
have no life, and mnzze them and put pillows
over their heads so they can't hurt anybody said
the grocery man, AZ he wlnked at brother Odd
Fellow, who was seated on n sugar barrel, looking
mysterious. 90 But why do you ask ~
80, nuthin', only wish me and my Chum had
muzzled our goat with pillow. ia would have on
Joyed becoming member of our lodge better. You
pa had been telling us how much good the Masons
and Odd Fellows did and said we ought to try and
grow IN good could jlne the lodges when we got
big, and asked pa II 1t would do any hurt for to
have play lodge In my room and purtend to nsiate,
and pa said 1t wouldn't do any hurt He said It would
improve our minds and learn us to be men. so me
and my chum borrIed goat that lived In livery
stable. Say did you know they kept goat In livery
stable tho horses won't get sick They get smell
Of the goat and after that nothing can make them
sick but glue factory. wish my girl boarded In
livery stable, then she would get used to the smell.
went home with her from church Sunday night, and
the smell of the goat on my clothes made her sick
the stummck, and she acted Just like excursion
the lake, and said didn't 20 and bury myself and
take the smell out OF me she wouldn' never go with
me again, She was Just as pale as ghost, and tho
perspiraton on her lip was Just eli she had been
hit by street sprinkler. You sec my chum
and me had to carry the goat up to my when pa
to tie handkerchief around his nose, and his feet
made such noise the floor that we put some baby
socks on his feet Gosh, how frowy goat Smells
don't 1t? l should think you Masons must have
strong stummiX. Why don't you have q skunk or n
mule for a trade markY Take mule and anolnt It
with limburg cheese and you could Initiate and make
n candidate smell lust rs bad as with gosh darn mil
dewed goat. Well sir, my chum and mo prac ticed
with that goat until lie could hunt picture OF goat
every time. We bOrried buck beer sign from n sa-
loon man and hung 1t on the back OF chair, and the
goat would hit 1t every time That night pa wanted
to know what we were doing up In my room, and I
told him We were playing lodge and improving our
minds. aud pa said that was right. there nothing
that did boys OF our age half so much good to m-
tate men aud store by useful nolidge. Then my chum
asked pa II he didn't want to up and take the
grand bumper degree and LATED and said he didn't
care he did, Just to encourage us boys In innocent
pastme, that was so Improving to our intellex. We
had shut the goat up In closet in my room, and he
had got over blatlng. so we took Off the handker-
chief, and he was eating some Of my paper. collars
and skate straps. We went up stairs and told pa to
come pretty soon and give three distinct raps, and
when we asks him who comes there he must say
- pilgrim who wants To Join your ancient order and
ride the goat Ma wanted to come up too, but we
told her II she came In II would break up the lodge
cause woman can't keep secret, and We didn I
have any side saddle for the goat. Say, II you never
tried 1t, the next time You initiate a man In your
Mason's Lodge you sprinkle little kyan pepper on
the goat beard Just before you turn him loose You
get three times much fun to the square inch OF
goat. Well, we got all fixed and pa raped and we
let him In and told him he must be blndfOlded, and
he got ON his knees iaing and tied towel around
his eyes, and then turned him around and made him
get down on his hands also, and then his back was
right towards the closet door, and put the buck beer
sign right against pas clothes. lie lafing ell
the time and said We boys were full OF fun as they
made ZEN, and we told Him 1t was solemn occasion,
stop lanng we couda't Rive him the grand bumper
degree. Then everything was ready, and my chnm
had his hand ON the closet door and some Ryan pep
per In his other hand, and asked pa In low bass
tones II he felt m though he wanted TO turn back or
II he had nerve enough TO 20 on ana take the degree
warned him that 1t was full OF dangers and this
goat lDatlel beer, and told ha had AT
time to retrace his steps II he wanted to. lie said he
wanted the whole business. and we could go ahead
with the menagerie Then said 10 pa u he had de-
cded to 20 ahead. and not 10 blame for tho con-
SEQUENCES, to repeat after the following: Bring
forth tho royal bumper and let him bumpl'
Ia repeated the words, and my chum
sprnkled with kyan pepper on the goat's inustache
and he sneezed once and looked sassy, and then he
seen the lager beer goat rarng up and he started
It, Just like w-catcher and plated. IA Is real
fat but he knew he had got hit, AMI he grunted and
said, ''ieli's Are what you boys dOlDgY' and then
the goat gave him another degree, and pa pulled of
the towel and got up and started for the stairs and
did the goat, and ma was at the bottom Of the stairs
listening, and when looked over the bannlsteTs pa
aud ma ana the goat were all on heap, and pa was
yelling murder, and ma was screaming fire, and the
goat was blating, and sneelng, aud bunting. and
the hlted girl came into the hall and the goat took
after her aud she crossed herself Just as the goa
struck her aud said, " lIOwlY mother protect me -
and went down stairs tho way we boys slide down
hill with both hands on HERSELF and tho goat Tared
upand blated aud pa and ma went into their room
anl smut thedOOr, aud then my chum and me opened
the front door ana drove the goat out The minister
VINO comes 10 500 ma every three tnes a week was
Just ringing the bell aud the goat thought lie wanted
To he Insulated too aud gave him one. for luck,
AMI then went down tho sidewalk, blatinE aud
sneczlng, aud the minister came In the paTlOT
and said he was stabbed and then pa out of his
room with his suspenders hanging down, aud he
adm know the minister was there and he said cuss
words, and ma cried aud told pa he would go TO hell
sure, and pa said he ddn't care; that he would XIII
that kusSid goat afOro he went, and told pa the
minister was In Tie parOr and he and ma went down
and said tile weather was propiious for revival and
II seemed as though an 0utpOuring Of the spirit was
about TO be yonchsaed TO His people, aud none OF
them sat down hut ma, because the goat ddn't butt
her, and whlo they was talkin' Teldgln with their
mouths aud kussln' tho goat inwardly my cham
aud me ad iOurned the lodge, aud went aud stayed
with him All night aud haln't been home since
Well guessI Will 20 and sneak In the back way and
lnd out from the hired girl how the land lays. She
won't 20 back mO, cause the goat was not loaded
for hired girls She Just happened to get In at the
wrong slime. Good bye, sir Remember, aud give
Your goat kyan pepper In lodge, '--PeckS Sun.