Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-10-05
Lancaster .gntelligenctr.
FRIDAY EVENING, OCT. s, 1883,
AvOIuIre mArsIMoNy.
why Men Nowadays do Not MARI!

why Men Now. n Days do Not Marry.
Tho English marriage market has be-
come an arena of competition as keen as
any auction room, says writer In the
Whitehdn Rep,ep. The natural impulses
Of women are disregarded. Mothers ad'
wise prudent alliances, and disoountenance,
by fair means aud foul, love matches.
Girls choke down their feelings, and aid
aud abet their seniors in encouraging mon
who are catches" throwing off the re
straints which made their grandmothcrs
charming. But still the cry goes up "Men
do not marry" And yet, the most invet
crate clubman, the mocker at love in a
cottage, was once youth not blase, TO
whom the vision Of home was encL ant
ing. Almost every man tries his hand at
realizing some such dream early in life
but the attempt is usually nipped in the
bud by want of means, or by failure to
win the particular woman on whom MS
heart Is set. He suffers acutely; but man
Is an elastic creature 10 time he mingles
again with the world, not entirely proof
against feminine fascination, but finding It
almost impossible again to set up an ideal.
Matrons with attractive daughters can
not complain that their girls see few men
The tendency of the age is to level the
barriers between the sexes girls play
tennis they row, they rink, they skate,
they sit in the smoking room, they dance,
not only in the evenings, but in the after
moons. The natural tendency OF such
intimate association would b5 matrim )uy.
But the fact is, that men WHO might have
had serious intentions are frightened off
before liking begets love. There is an oil
prevailing fuss prevailing the intercourse
Of young people which is altogether detri.
mental. The instant pair begin to show
any particular liking for each other 5
society, the wide world around them is
instantly on the quiyive. Toe mother
watches, fuses, reports to her crouies,
and too often catechises the girl, wound.
ing her sense of delicacy, and making her
conscious and constrained, or leading her
to imagine herself beloved, when the
mans feeling is only that OF pleasure IN
the society of young woman who does
her best to make herself agreeable.
Men are usually ignorant how girls note
aud weigh the attentions they receive, and
that they impart the details of such HON
age to sympathetic-if enviOus-feminine
ears, thus giving body TO vague nOthings,
and brooding over trities till they gather
shape. Meanwhile, the man, having said
the pretty things his idea OF politeness has
prompted, goes away, forgetting them
and their recipient, while she is expecting
declaration as the result Of few soft
nothings, squeeze OF the hand, or ten
der glances. Women are not aware, on
the other hand, how sincerely he may like
and admire q girl without a thought be
yond mere good will. Aud it is precisely
the better kind OF man who falls into the
misfortune of raising false hopes the
man who believes in the simplicity aud
candor of women desires their sympathy
aud values their regard. \ man OF the
world has the instinct OF self preservation
developed strongly enough for his prOtec-
tion.
Tae sense of safety is the real b0ad of
many of the alliances now 50 fashionable
sometimes salutary, often mischi5vOus-
between men aud married women. Kept
within bounds, no suspicion attaches to
them, no hopes are built upon them. The
lady receives the petits soins dear to the
female nature, which the husband of long
standing often noglects the man re
ceives the sympathy grateful TO the mas
culine creature. Men feel this without
analyziDg their sentiments and it is a
common complaint among them nowadays
that it is impossible to become well &C
quainted with a girl without exciting the
too lively anxiety of her friends. And no
wise man proposes without knowing the
character OF the girl he wishes to marry.
The mothers who are so eager for theiI
daughters establishment are wise, al
though this precipitation il not Ouly
foolish but indeCOTOuS.