The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-17

wants is few stitches taken out cf 1t, and the propriesor Is going right into the business of getting them out How does that strike you ?" and Mir. Spocpendyke. having pulled the disintegrased part over his wrist, stuck out the fingers for his wife's contemplation with the air cf a man who was setting the fashions.
 "i1l tell you what you can do," said Mrs. Spoopedyke -You can year the other and carry this in your hand. No one will notice the tear. and think the other will go on easier"
 Mir. Spoopendyke made a grab for the other glove, and damned his hand into II. Halt way on It stuck, jus, as the firss had.
 '.Ie< !" he panted. This Is easier !. See 1t crawl up my hand. Stop 1t, will you: Hold the dod-gas,ed thing before i, climbs in.o my earl Chock u some where, can't you? Tie string around il and hold v and Mir. Spoopendyke pulled with all his might, and worked his fingers and mouth simultaneously. Now I'm ready" he howled. Bring forth the catafalque and place this fashionably gloved hand on the silver handles there of. My wife has fixed me for the ordeal. and it's too cold to keep the corpse wait ing This style of funeral adornmen, for dollar v and Mir. Spoopendyke held up his hand and waved il in the air E" Come on..' he yelled. going at 1t again. You're the one that goes on easy, and the other is the one I'm to carry, Don, mab. any mistake in your functions on 8 solemn an occasion as this. Come cn and be saved .' and he jerked 1t over his thumb and then tore the thumb out " Got any more gloves::' he demanded of his shrinking wife. Think am go- ing to bury brother Mason with one thumb and split hand: Got any kind of notion ,ha, this is tramp's funeral, and am to go pall-bearing around in ragss
 "Never mind. dear. maybe the res, won, wear gloves, and if they do, you can say you forgot yours,' said Mrs. Spoopendyke, soothingly.
 Want me to stand over that measly coffin and lie abou, il, don't you." he squealed, as he saw that even his wife had given up the last hope of glowing him appropriately. Want me to stand over the mans grave and assure him that I'll bring along a pair of gloves when l die, perhaps"
 Cant you stop and buy pair as you go along?" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke. as the easiest solution she could think of.
 That's it." howled MT. Spoopendyke, to whom this idea had lust occurred, and who was righteously indignan, that his wife had thought of II too. :" can lean ou, of the window and yell for the hearse to stop. while go to market and it my self out for the ceremony, It took you ,o capture the only means out of this diff ficulty, and as reward of merit, I'm going 10 nj you out with an ice-box and brass band. and start an undertaker's estab- lishment with you as soon as l get back from this pall-bearing. You hear With your ideas of funeral, all you want is Hic facet on your back, and row with the other denominations to be first class cemetey"' and Mir. Spoopendyke put on his ha, hind side before and started for the funeral to find tha, while he was making up his mind as to wha, improvements his wife needed, the cav aIcade had left and another pail-bearer had been appointed in his place.
 '' don't care mu mured Mrs Spoop- endyke. as she picked up the torn gloves and inspected them with a view 10 mend ing them for her own use "l don't care. suppose they wi!ohave gloves at the funeral for him. They always do; and if they give him any. 1t will be pair tha, will reach from the calf of his leg 10 his shoulder blade. and wanted him to have pair tha; would n, him nicely. Anyway. can use these to go ;o marke, in dunng the winter" and Mrs. Spoop- endyke put them away carefully, aad Sd, down to the paper oi two days before to store her mind with useful knowledge on the freshest topics of the day.