National Republican., 1883-03-21

rule can be applied to the productions of every
country in the world.
Every board of trade and commercial body
in the land should, and have no doubt will,
take this question up during the season and
adopt resolutions calling on congress TO adopt
measures to protect American commercial in
terests abroad"
80
Representative Frank Landers grasped
the American hog question:" said western
man, and l suggest that Bismarck be thrown
down and forcibly inoculated with the views
elegantly expressed by the Hoosior statesman
IL he doesn't take kindly TO persuasive
methods. When Landers ran for congress
against Gen. John Coburn a certain fnicky
element found fault with him because he was
a pork packer. 'Humph,' said the great man,
any man as don't like the small of n hog is q
leetle too nice to live He made his race on
that issue and was elected. The American
porker is q winner"
"Have you heard the news from the court
housep said an old official of the government
yesterday.
"No; what is it2'
"Well, the officers down there are going TO
do something that was never done before in
the history of the court and which is unheard
of in any court of justice in the country"
"Why, what can that e2'
"They are going TO put the officers Of the
court in uniform monkey jackets with brass
buttons, just as they do the servants at our
prominent hotels to distinguish them from
the guests"
"Whose idea is that2"
at was first suggested by Col. Corkhill and
seconded by some of the judges Marshal
McMichael kicked against IL as an innovation
upon the customs Of the court but the thing
is to be DONE"
"Whenp
81 believe the Hrst dress parade is to take
place before the star route trial closes"
sS@
The Treasury department is still greatly
worked up over the absence of Secretary Fol-
ger. The only man who appears to know
certainly his whereabouts is Appointment
Clerk ButleB who is getting hunchbacked
under the burden Of the CHASTITY secret. The
startling news came to tho surface
last evening that package had been expressed
to Frank Sperry, Fortress Monroe" an
hour or two before. Lest the Importance of
this intelligence should not be properly appre-
ciated by the great public, 1t might be well to
state in this connection that Mr. Sperry is the
secretary's private secretary, and that the two
gentlemen left Washington together. Having
gone away in company, it is presumed they
are still together.
80
The War department has no means Of know
ing what damage has been done to the alleged
Mississippi river improvements by tho flood,
| as the water has not subsidized sufficiently to
enable the engineers to take observations. 1t
is feared that the mattresses which were not
spiked down to bed rock and riveted on the
other side have been swept into the Gulf OF
Mexico or swallowed up in the quicksands Of
the mighty river. The department will not
know the fate of those mattresses for at least
a month.
"Do you really think the Mississippi can
be improved p" asked one of the Oldest
engineers in the service.
"Of course do know II. Didn't the late
Gen. Robert L. Lee make firm bank in front
of st. Louisp
" But didn't several of the stone dykes
built on thu waters edge disappear before one
| could be made that would stickP
"Yes, but those dykes that caved in doubt
less solidifed the bank and gave 1t the firm
ness that was needed. Stone could not be
used in that way to strengthen the banks all
tho way down, as a matter of course, but
brush mattresses will serve the purpose
equally well and thoy can be planted at fai
less cost. The failure of congress TO appro.
pirate money to continue the improvements
that have been commenced will, i fear result
in great loss This is. a work that should be
pushed, and not allowed to rest for season
Far better never begin that sort of work
than begin it only to abandon it when hall
completed"
x"a
Strange conversation between two well
dressed gentlemen, with loud watch chains
and Alaska scarf pins, as they disembarked
from an Alexandria train:
"They are doing little better over in
Alexandria now, don't you think so, Billp
80, my, yes. They treated us very cleverly
to-day. was whipsawed sixteen times thu
first deal the other day when / went ovel
there to visit 'em. To-day they only split III
out twcnty-three Or four times deal. Ont
deal the colonel only give it to us thirteer
times. There amt nothin' mean about tn,
colonel
Statesmen Who Are stilI Here.
There are forty-six congressman and ex
| a,,,,.osar,an nf the forty.seyenth cnnpres