The Hawaiian gazette., 1883-01-31
Easli.h ". American Etisustt..


Many Of the best American women who
have travelled much in EuVcpe, avoid fashiCn-
able society in their own country, because Of
the uncertainty Of lis code Of nanners. An
American gentleman called upon distinguish
ed French General in Paris, more than twice
his age. To his amazement the call was re-
turned the same day. In his own country no
notice at all would most probably have been
taken Of a similar visit
There seems strange contrariety In the
Washington and New York rules Of etiquette.
In the Empire city it is the lady who bows
first, not SO IN Washington, or in the exclusive
circles Of Virginia, nor among the members Of
the Oldest families, and men who feel secure
Of their position in Scciety-so az least saws an
authority on American manners. Among these
the Frerch custom obtains which ordains the
bow to b. given At the instant Of recognition.
without hesitation. There Is also, between
these several sections Of American society, \
yet unsettled controversy as 70 which Is the
proper arm TO give lady. New York stands
alone in decreeing the right as the mss. re
spectfRl The left arm she saws, Z" is too ten
der" bot New York is not REGARDED as the III
innate authority On matters OF etiquette
Another knottypoint among the rival CON-
munities Is the order 70 be observed IL escort
ing lady down stairs, supposinS the stairs to
be too narrow for two TO 20 abreast. New
York says 1t Is i matter Of etiquette that every
cue descends a man-of-war before the CON-
mlnder; but If Z gentleman goes first it may be
better, is the considerate provision, Us the Ia
dy may have large feet, or thick ankles, or
''some other reason" for wishing 70 protect
her lower extrenities from observation. Wash
ingtcn DEGREES that the lady takes precedence,
-. : 4 J
her from misafventure.
In New York il is not the thing foI j
lady to say thank yca - for small courtesies,
such as passing change in an omnibus. restor-
ing fallen umbrellas, etc: only smile IS al
lowable. There has been difference OF Opin-
ion, too, en- the use Of capital letters Tor z. ?.
{. On visiting cards, and Z. ;. V. 2. on cards
Of invitation Since the time o. the Romans
large letters have been used for abbreyiatious,
but America row uses small letters, an limo
vation distasteful to European eyes. There,
too, it was rigid etiquette-as, indeed, It was
until quite late years in this country also--to
send invitations and answers by hand; now, ii
at any distance, the medium Of the post IS per-
MISSILE. In England the formula Of intro-
ddcticns IS severely simple. MI Brown
Mrs. Smith, that is all Mr. Brown nav he
Chancellor Of the Exrhequer, and Mrs. smith
the wife Of the Archbishop Of York, but these
facts are not named. In America, etiquette
requires iiguities and oficial status to be par
ticulArizsd, As - the Rev. Mr. or Or. Blank, o-
the Hon. Governor Dash, adding the name OF
the State he governs Ii member Of Congress
the fact must be added, if an author Of repute
the names Of his principal works must be
stated.
Il is customary in America for lady to be
accompanied to a ball BY gentleman as an
escort. HIS duty IS TO see that SIZE Is provided
with partners and refreshments, and 70 look
after her generally. He carries, indeed SUP
plies her bouquet. and attends her on her return
home. A young English noblemau On his first
visit to Washington called on a uruniuent
member Of society, and rendered letters OF in
PRODUCTION. Tne lady received him frankly,
and introduced him to her three daughters. A
ball coming OF the sane evening, she offered
to procure him an invitation. On his accept
ing she desired him to choose one Of her daugh-
tiers as companion for the entertainment. He
did 50. Il WIS then arranged that he should
call for the young lady IN a carriage Of his
own providing, and bring the usual bouquet,
which be did At the conclusion Of the hall
be accompanied his charge home. The rest Of
the family had retired Tor the night, but ser
wants were in waiting, and his fair companion
pressed him TO enter and Join her il a cup Of
eeffee- Not little surprised, the gentleman
assented, and spent pleasant half hour in the
drawing room alone with his entertainer, dis
cussing the dance be had enjoyed in her soci-
ETY.. Republican Independence Of manners,
perhaps, hut innocent withal He wa a
gentleman, said the mother afterEard, :" ac-
credited to me by mutual friends, and knew
that my daughter could take care Of herself.''
Tins incident was no outrage on American Ell
q1ette- In America It IS the custom for the
young ladies' Of the family &c give the halls,
and Il Is not at all necessary that yoH should
be introduced to their parents.
Courtesy to women Is a noticeable feature Of
American society, yet a writer ia the PhiIa-
delPhia Evening Bu2sfia has uttered the her.
esy that no nan who has not travelled has
seen a woman
What may be termed knife and fork " Ell
quette In refined circles Of American secretly
differs little from cur own at the present time
hut not so very long age, instead Of the finger
glasses nov in general use, large silver howl
used to be handed round fer general ahlution.
At the tine Thackery vised America, things
were degree ruugher -Tsav,n said tie
s1trisf, i've Americans at 4 time with their
Knives down their threats I sad TO nv
eaEghters NJ dear, yosr grsaf-great-erznd-
mother, the finest old lady / ever kHsu, also
applied cold steel to her 'viffsls. lot I wish
i've AZ time wouldn't