The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1883-10-23
Milwaukee Sun.
a PARENTS SENSIBLE ADVICE
TO a BI.USlslNH LOVER.

TO a BI.GSIsING LOVER.
A queer ease has Just come to light in
Chicago. \ young man spent an evening
| while the family was present in the par
| lor he was as demure and bland and
| child-like as could be wished. The
mother came into the room after the fam
| lily had retired to get handkerchief she
| had left, and the Young man was seated
| in a chair in the middle of the room while
the girl was seated on a sofa, and nothing
that the mother could see in the actions
of either led her to think they were more
| than passing acqualntances. 1t seemed
to her as though the young people had
met before, but there was no evidence
that they were very we'll acquainted.
All night, after he had gone, the girl COM
planned of n pain in her side, and in the
morning n doctor was called, and he found
that two Of her ribs were broken. How
it was done nobody knew. The girl
could not tell for the life of her, though
she blushed when asked about it, and the
mother looked very wise as she looked at
the doctor. The doctor made so~ke en-
qnlrIes, set the ribs and went away, and
the girl proceeded To recover
That evening the young man called
and was astonished when informed of the
extent of the girls INJURIES, and wondered
how it could have happened though the
mother watched his tace close AS he spoke
| and detected not only blush but pro-
fuse pcrspiration on his face She had
been girl once herself, and though she
had never had any ribs broken she had
been hugged some. 1t was trying po-
sition for all of them The father was
away on a trip to Wisconsin, and when
he came home the matter had to be ex-
planned to him. He was told that the
ribs ust simply broke themselves, and
that neither the mother nor the girl nor
the young man could account for it, and
yet all three OF them bushed terribly.
The father patted the Girl on the head,
told her she would be better when she got
over it, and then called the young man
into The library. The Young man was
SO weak he could hardly walk, and when
he sat down he took ont handkerchief
and mopped his brow and wished he
was dead The father looked the Young
man over and was sorry He finally
said
Young man, | guess can give Won
some points on fugging. You must first
learn that a girl is not constructed. on the
same principle of an iron fence or truss
bridge. \ girl is a delicate piece of
mechanism. like a fac watch, full of little
springs, wheels, jewels. etc. The break
ing of any one Of these would cause her
to cease keeping time and necessitate her
being taken to the iicwellcr for repairs In
hugging q girl you don't want to 90 at
it as if you were raking or binding, or
catching sturgeon | know that where
the family sits up late with young cou-
pie and spoils several precious hours of
hugging, that, unless the Young man has
a good head when left alone with the OBJ
iect of his affection, he is liable to
ovcr1o the matter and try to make up for
lost time. He seems to want to hug upa
lot ahead and grabs the girl as though he
wanted to break her in two This is
wrong. You should 90 at it camly and
deliberately, even prayerfully, and be as
gentle as though she was an ivory fan.
The gentle pressure of the hand that
girl loves, even the touch, is AS dear to
her as though you run her through a
stone crusher You should not grab her
marks on her that will last lifetime
A loving woman should not be made to
feel that her life in danger unless she
wears a corset made Of boiler iron !
hope this will be lesson to you, and
hereafter, if you can't control your feel
ings, will provide a wooden Indian for
you to prctice on at first, until you have
developed your muscle and got tired, and
then we can turn our daughter loose in a
room with you and not feel that it is ne
cessary to keep surgeon handy. In allow
ing You to keep company with my daugh-
ter | do not agree to provide you with a
human gymnasium, dressed in Mother
Hubbard wrapper and wearing bangs
You can readily see that a girl would not
last a season through if she had to have
ribs set once a week. Please think this
over, and if the girl is well enough next
Sunday you can drop in and try some
more ribs. Now you 60 home and hug
hat-rack for an hour or two, and have it
repaired in the morning"
The young man went out into the night
air, took his hat off to cool his head, and
hired a man to kick him.