Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1883-05-12
THINGS WISE and OTHERWISE.


1t would seem that Honolulu is blessed with
genius in the shape Of a quasi.comical writer,
il Judgment in the matter may be based upon
certain contemporaneous effusions which have
recently appeared in print. The would be wit
has strung together a Heterogeneous mass OF
words and sentences without any connection or
evident purpose except the ambition of being
funny. But even in this aspiration the trihing
scribbler has hardly succeeded, unless it is
funny to see writer play the fool absolute y
and fill up empty space with senseless con
glomerations of words. 1t may be, however,
that this scribe is misconceived and wrongfully
not appreciated by the people of Honolulu II
is barely possible that he is an Artemus Ward,
or n Cruikshank in embryo, and that this
wordy buhoonery OF his is only maiden effort
which does not fairly reveal the latent depth OF
unfathomable apish ability that he possesses. II
this is the case, the commonplace and unap-
preciative public had better thank goodness for
what little they can get from the embryo wit,
and applaud his antics until he makes a con.
summate buffoon of himself.
The above excerpt from ii,e Advertiser of the
9th instant seems an unkind and even impolitic
rebuke of its own pet funny mamie who has
been mewling of mushrooms and croaking OF
cabbages in the column Of "notes," and doing
the quite too-too in such work as the Adver.
tiser's account of last weeks entertainment at
question never wrestles with the English IAN
guage without being thrown, that his jokes are
commonly brought from at least the distance Of
Fiji, that he merits all the hard things the
,t,Dt,t th,t.l Il
justify SO cruel snub as his unsparing editor
has given him. 1t may be, however, that the
Advertisers skit was meant for some one in
another newspaper household. In view OF
that possibility, the following lines are in
scrbed to
THE CABBAGE CRITIC:
fon talk OF teaching, you whose sense
Is bounded by garden fence
pon ape the artist, YOU whose art
Is sold from out market cart
Pon rail writer's you who made
Your maiden poem with spade
Pon prate Of poets, you who make
Your finest fancies with a rake
Pen-why, the early worm you tread
| Has better brains within his head
Don't say Excessively beautiful, Mr.. Item.
izer Of the Gazette. II is absurd. The only
excessively beautiful thing in Honolulu is
the critical consistency Of the junior daily; and
you were writing abou, Mr.. Kidwell's glox.
| inias.
The Advertiser is mistaken" in thinking /,
was the first daily paper published in Homo
lulu, as the Bulletin modestly reminds it.
There is some sense in gushing over the re.
form Of good, or even Of an indifferent, mar
gone wrong. Mr.. Preston has resigned from the
cabinet because he could not remain in it with,
ou, s,ultiiying himself There were apparent,
other places in Honolulu where a whisky
mill might be opened, without offending the
nostrils and shocking the moral sense Of the
community by opening one opposite church.
But somebody's favoi,e had to be tickled, 70,
some mysterious, Young Hawaiian reason.
Previous cabinet ruling held that there were
already enough liquor saloons in the town,
The situation has not appreciably changed since.
Mr.. Preston's course has been too generally in
accord with the administration Of which he was
part to command the support OF respect ol
the community. His present attitude, how.
ever, is manly, and ought always TO be remem.
bered to his credit
Mrs. Lille DeveIeux Blake spoke in New
York recently on "Womans Hope. She
said; "We women want change to exercise
our individualities, and are tired OF being
merged. as the legal phrase describes matri-
mony, with mankind. saw the other day a
siou, German with his pale and feeble wife ge,
into crowded horse-car. A gentleman rose
TO give the wife seat, but the big, fat hus.
band seized il, settled himself back, and folded
his arms, looking eomplaeen,y at his wife
standing alone. Sir. said the rate gentle.
man. igaye the lady my seat. The husband
looked surprised, shrugged his shoulders, and
replied; oh, dot yos all rghdt, do, vos mine
wife, and he KEEP, the seat. She was merged. :"
According to report, the Mesicans mus, be
among the poli,es' people on the globe. Even
the robbers are gentlemen, and when they are
Obliged to rob really put one under obligation
ios their attention. An instance is given Of a
pretty speech made BY Mexican Beau Bro
eade In app5opnatins a paiI Of earrings:
" Possessing such brigh, eyes, sonora, wha,
need have you Of these dall slouesi"