The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1883-01-11
A Sioux Bill of Fare.

One of the peculiaritieS of the latest
| United States style of feeding the no
bic red man is the fact that he is given
government rations, and at the same
time appropriations are made which
are supposed to maintain him.
Sometimes wild Indian who don't
know much about groceries and how
to prepare them for food, comes in and
draws his regular soldier rations in
this way. For instance, up in the
Sitting Bull country a while ago an
Indian came in from the warpath who
had never seen any of the paleface
style of food, and drew his rations.
He made light meal of unground
coffee the first day, and as he overate,
and the coffee swelled on him, he had
difficulty in buttoning his pants
around the pain that he had on hand.
He felt very unhappy for a day or
| two, but laid it to the fact that he
| hadn't exercised much, and the con-
sequent ennui and Indigestion result
ing therefrom.
AS soon as he succeeded in getting
his interior department quoted down
little, he tackled his ration of candles.
These he decided to parbol, in order
to avoid trouble from Indigestion.
The dish was not so much of glitter
ing success as he had anticipated, and
as he remorsefully picked the candle
Wicking out of his teeth with tent
| pin he made some remark that grated
harshly on the aesthetic ears of those
who stood near.
He then tried meal of yeast powder
with vinegar. He ate the yeast pow
der and then took pint of extremely
potent vinegar to wash it down.
at first there was a feeling of glad
surprise in his stomach, which rapid
ly gave place to unavailing remorse.
A can Of yeast powder in an Indians
midst don't seem to be prepared for a
pint of vinegar, and the result of such
| an unfortunate circumstance is not
gratifying.
Every little while look of pain
would come over the features of the
noble child of the forest, and then he
would jump about seventeen feet and
try to kick a cloud out of the sky.
Then he would sit down and think
over his past life,
1t took about week for him to get
back to where he dared to get up
another meal for himself. Then he
fricasSeed a couple of pounds of laun-
dry soap and ate that.
Soap is all right for external pur-
puseS or for treating pair of soiled
socks, but it does not asSimilate with
the gastric juice readily, and those
who have tried laundry soap as a relish
do not seem to think that it will ever
arrive at any degree of prominence as
an article of diet.
That is why this untutored child of
nature swore. He had never received
the benefits of early training in pro-
family, and his language, therefore,
was disconnected and rambling; but
when we consider that he was ignO-
rant of our language, and that every
little while he had to stop and hold on
to his digester with both hands and
dig great holes in the earth with his
toes, the remarks didn't seem alto
gether out of place or irrelevant.
When a gallon or SO of agitated
baking powder and vinegar is singing
it's little song in the innermost re-
cesses of an Indian, and this has been
followed by treatment of laundry
soap, the student of human nature
can find wide field for observation
in that locality.
The earnest and occupied look, the
troubled expression of the counte-
nance, followed by the quick nervous
twitching of the muscles of the face,
and then the swelling up and the
bursting of the suspender button, the
deep-drawn sigh and the smothered
crossword, all betoken the gastric
agitation going on within.
This is why an Indian prefers link
of bologna sausage and two-year-
old dog to the high priced groceries so
common to our modern civilization.