The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1883-03-02
THE BAD BOYS GIRL GOES BACK OF Elm.

THE BAD BOYS GIRL GOES BACK OF ELM
"My girl has shook me-"
"Sho! You don't say so," said the
groceryman, as he threw rotten
potato into basket of good ones
that were going to the orphan asy-
lum. "Well she showed sense. You
would have blown her up, or broken
her neck, something. But don't feel
bad, you will soona find another girl
that will discount her and you will
forget all about this one.
"Never!' said the boy as he nib
bled at piece OF codfsh that he had
picked off: 81 shall never allow my
affections t. become entwined about
another piece of calico. 1t unmans
me. Henceforth am a hater of the
whole girl race. From this out I
shall harbof revenge i'll my path and
life. I want to grow up to become
he-school-ma'am, or he mlliner,
or something, where I can grind girls
into dust, and make them sue for
mercy. Oh, you don't know any
thing about the woe there is in this
world. You never loved many peo-
pie, did you?"
The groceryman admitted that be
had never loved very hard, but he
knew little about it form an aunt of
his who got mashed on St. Louis
drummer. "But your father must be
having rest while your mind is oc-
cupied with your love affair."" said he.
"Yes," says the boy, with vacant
look, 81 take no interest in the pleas
ure Of the chase any more, though I
did have little quiet fun this morn
ing at the breakfast table. You see,
Pa is the contrariest man there ever
was. If complain that anything at
the table don't taste good. pa says it
is all right. This morning took the
syrup out and put in some cod liver
oil that ma is taking for her cough.
1 put some on my pancakes, and
pretended to taste of it. | told pa
the syrup was sour, and not fit to eat
Pa was mad in a second, and he
poured out some on his pancakes and
said I was getting too confounded
particular. He said the syrup was
good enengh for him, and he sopped
his pancakes in it and fired some
down his neck. Pa is a gaul burned
hypocrit, that's what he is. l could
see by his face that the cod liver
oil was nearly killing him, but be
said that the syrup was all right, and
if didn't eat mine he would break
my back, and by gosh had to eat it
and pa said he guessed he didn't
have much appetite and he would
Just drink cup of coffee and eat a
doughnut. I like to dide, and that
is one thing, I think, that makes this
disappointment in love harder tc
bear. But feel sorry for~ma. Ma
amt got very strong stomik, and
when she got some of that cod liver
O il in her mouth she went right uI
sta lrs, slckern horse, and pa had
to help her, and she had the nooral-
gia all the morning. / ate pickles to
take the taste out of my mouth and
then I laid for the hired girls
They eat too much syrup anyway
and when they got on to that cod
liver oil, and swallowed a lot of it
one of them, an Irish girl rose from
the table, put her hand to her corset
and said, "howlY Jasus," and wen'
out in the kitchen, as pale as ma il
when she has no powder on her face
and the other girl who is Dutch, swal
lowed a pancake saying Mine Cott
vas the matter from me- and she wen1
out and leaned on the coal bin. Then
they talked Irish and Dutch and got
clubs and started to look for me, end
l thought I would come over here
The whole family is sick but not
from love, like my illness, and they
get over it, while shall fill an early
grave; but not till | Lave made thai
girl and the telegraph messenger
wish they were dead. Pa and l are
going to Chicago next week, and you
bet we'll have some fun. Pa says
need change ofthe air and ! thinl
he is going to try and lose me. IT.
dark day when get left where
cant find my way back. Well, gooe
bye rotten potatoes.
| Aros 4, Sons Mammal oives iua