Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-09-27
The Book Agent.
From Texas Siftings. /

| s"cNc moulniy paris we CONFESS That we
believed him to be bold, bad man. stepped
in iniquity and lost TO shame We even
wrote of him, and printed what we wrote.
we called mm vampire and worldly
minded outcast. We wrote what we called
| humorous articles, in which we described
how he worked on the feelings of his land
lady and scattered eloquence all over the
house. from attic to cellar, until she was per-
suaded to purchase 81 copy of Civil En-
glneering in Five Easy Lessons and we told
how when old Fulcrum refused to buy the
| Female Beauties Of the Eighteenth Century,
| and kicked the agent down the front steps,
he found him five minutes afterward in the
kitchen selling Book Of Business Forms to
| the hired girl.
| But we have had an awakening We have
experienced change Of heart toward the
book agent since we have given his peculiar
usefulness in the economy of nature more
mature consideration, and since we have
book written by ourselves now being sold by
subscription and by book agents Our CON
science stings us for what we NAV have said
IN the past that may have hurt the sensitive
feelings of the book agent We wish to
atone tor the injury We have done him ana
make amende honorable. The book agent
is an educator. He is a conscientious. self
sacrlhcing dissemination of intelligence and
second-h hand wood-cut illustrations. He is
an exemplary citizen. He bears the proud
mans contumely with equanimity, while he
induces him TO buy leather bound edition
OF the Encyclopedia Britannica, which not
only instructs him, but affords him an excel
lent thing to strop his razor on.
He goes out into the country and tackles
the agriculturist in his lair, and sells him
The Diseases Of the Horse and their Cure.
in one volume-a book without which the
farmer might 90 down to his grave ignorant
that his horse had several diseases with long
Latin names.
The book agent ministers to the rich and
poor alike He calls on the mechanics wife
and sells her Every Lady Her Own Cook.
a book containing 900 useful recipes. with
a collection Of Latin and Greek phrases in
an appendix book that will teach her how
to construct a rhubarh Die or build harl-
boiled doughnut, and that Will store her
mind with choice aphorisms in the dead lam
guages while she IS waiting for a CAKE to
rise.
Now that several thousand book agents
are tramping over the country Offering our
book for sale we regard it one Of the great
est oyersIghts Of the last Legislature that i.
failed TO pass law makiig it felon, to
use rude language to book agent. rhe
members Of the Legislature would have
earned the everlasting respect Of all classes
OF citizens II they had rendered money
subsidy TO every book agent who visits the
State on hls mission OF mercy and dsiuter-
ested benevolen,e. Parents should instruct
their children 70 watch out, and il they see
man whom they suspect Of being a book
agent, invite him 10 come to the house and
take dinner. When book aeen, is cxuect
ed 10 arrive at place, the Mayor and lead
ing citizens should have the aecency to NEE.
him at the depot with garands and brass
band, and conduct him in triumph through
the streets 70 the banquet hail. where, after
presenting hun with the freedom Of the clty
they should subscribe, and pay IN advance
for the book, providing 1t was our book he
was trying to sell.
lerchance some captlou, person, lu>t in
SIN and wickedness, aud unable 10 find his
way out, VIII intimate thut We are Il .llt.e
100 liberal IN our proposed treatment Of
bo"A agents 10 all >uch We say We don't
pfop"s" 10 Say anNthIug to them. l.pt them
eNercI>e little patience. and the book agent
himself. with copy OF our Nu>tany. viii
say something q them. He VIII tell them,
~ low, soothing tone Of voice, uf lt> 700
pages, lis 800 original Illustrations, as pri
lucid Wit, lis chA,te statistics. is gidGv un-
NOR ard rs wealth uf canned MI formation
about lcXl, and Mexico, uud }, tnr, >ub-
scribe for cloth bound copy. MIA . .u.,.-
plated picture ON the cover, tie, al,l call
down blessings ON the head Of the man who
invented the BOOK agent.
a fine sonnet by Whittier. in lHe Vnqhg,-
TN for October. hI- for IL Them, Mis- \.N-
andrr'> touching STORY ~ Ida" which has
been warmly praised b. Mr. Ru,kin What
4 fruitful lird thc magazine h,t, in New York
and il, ncighborhood is shown ia a wcN Il rif-
ten paper on The Valley Of The rIackcu-ark.''
which j. ju~t across the Hudson. behind the
fa>a'lr>. The fourteen picturesque illu-trn-
tion> well supplement the text. In The I.us Of
the Ataanta' Mr.. Charles Hull Bot-for,l .de,crib,
Mr. Jay Goud> superb Yacht AMI il yo.usc
from Philadelphia" 10 New York VividIv and
and ha- shown much ingenuity in not nanlin,
the great sprculator anywhere iii the article
The rnera>lng> arr beautiful especially one of
ihr N!alanta hlns at anchor BY moonli ght
III the Tappan Zee, and one of Mr. GoulIS
house at lrvin@ton. \ third illustrated article /
j. on The Irish Parliamentary Party.'' bv /
Thomas L. Gill. who describes the various
member, Of that party i'll remarkably yigorolI,
and entertaining way. The thirteen we'll en-
.raved portraits which ACCOMPANY the text are /
valuable i'll themselves. and are the first com /
plcte collection Of such portraits which have /.
appeared in this country. An article >llr,. 10
attract wide attention is Washington through
Eyc-Gla>se>," by Mr.. Dcmarc,t I.lo,d. the
Ncl-known Washington correspondent uf th,.
New York Tribune. In Julian IIawthornc'> .
" "BratriN Randolph the heroine has made
her debut. aud the story i becoming more. COM
plicated and exciting. 4 wcll-told short story j.,
The Lost Train" by B. B. Valentine. ..rhr
secondhand shops Of Paris" alr ayr,tnblv
described by Mrs. Lucy II. Hooper Trans
atiOn- Of some dainty loyc--on4> bv the spanish
poet. Gu>taNo Bccqucr by Mr.. Richard H.
>tOddar,. have all the charm OF tie original
ind show that it requires poet to translate, a
Doet. Mr.. W. J. Loftic. OF the London Times
la> some readable notes on the phases of art
md literature in London month since other
poets Of the number are Nora Perry. q. &.
AurinGcr, III. G. Faulkner. J. a. MacOn-With
! capital negro dialect piccc-R. X. Mnkittrick
md Others Miss Edith NJ Thomas has Il
)rose-poem, Autumn and the Muse de-
icious study OF nature, Overlooking with fancy
md feeling.
She tenderly pushed him from her as
hey stood in bay window with the soft
moonlight falling upon them, and said
Willie, dear. think you had better try
'ome other hair-dye your moustache tastes
Iik p turnentine