Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1883-11-15
GaIes an1 Sketfbes.
PLATING WILD WEST.
The BAD BOY's FATHER LAssOOs Cow
AND RIDES BICYCLE.

Well. how Is my little angel without
wings TO-DAY ~ asked the grocery-man
Of the bad boy, as he came in with red
paint sticking TO his ears, and blue paint
around his eyes and nose, which looked
as though a feeble attempt had been made
to wash il off. while rooster feather stuck
through his hat, and bead moccasin was
on one foot and rubber shoe on the
other.
..Oh, am all bushoo. Bushoo. that is
Indian. am on the war-path. and am
no angel this week. This is my week off.
II beats all, don't it, how different fellow
feels at different times? For the last two
weeks have been so good that it made
me fairly ache, and since that Buffalo Bill
show was here with the Indians, and buf-
faloes. and cows-boys and steers, | am all
broke up. We have had the worst time
over 10 our house that ever was. You
see. all of US BOYS in the igbborhood
wanted TO have a Buffalo Bill show, and
pa gave US permission to use the back
ward and he said he would come out and
help us. You know that Boston girl that
was visiting at our house, with the glasses
on2 Well, she went home the next day.
She saws this climate is too wild for her.
You see. we bows all fixed up as Indians,
and we LAID tor some one TO come out OF
the house TO scalp. the way they do in the
show. We heard rustic of female gar
ments and we all hid, and when the Bos
ton girl came out to pick some pansies IN
mas ilower-bed we captured her. You
never see girl so astonished as she was.
We yelled 'yip-yip' and took hold of one
of her hands and my chum took hold of the
other. aud her bangs raised right up. and
her glasses fell off and she said %. you
howwid things We took her to our lair
in the hen house, and tied her to a tin rain
water conductor that came down by the
corner of the barn, and then we danced a
war dance around her, and yelled 'ki-yi'
until she perspired. took my tomahawk
and lifted her hair and hung it on the
chicken roost, and then I made a speech
to her in Indian ! said. The pale-faced
maiden from the rising sun is in the
hands Of the Apaches, and they yearn tor
core. Her brothers and fathers and uncles,
the Indian agents, have robbed the chill
dren of the forest of their army blankets
and canned lobster, and the red man must
be avenged. But we will not harm the
pretty white maiden, except to burn her at
the stake What has she to say? Will
she give the red man taffy or will she
burn?' Just then pa came out with els
tern pole and he rescued the white maiden
and said we mustn't be so rough. Then
the girl sand she would give us all the
ta.fy we wanted, and she went in. and she
and ma watched us from the back window.
Pa he watched US rob coach and he said
it was firstrate. The man that collects the
ashes from the alley, with horse and
~ IoaInI nj
the wagon. when two of my Indians took
the horse by the bits, and four of us
mounted the wagon and robbed the driver
of clay pipe and a pocket comb and a
knife but he saved his ashes by promising
never to reveal the names of the robbers
Pa Just laughed when we gave the ash
man back his knife and things. and said
he hadn't had so much fun in long time.
Then we were going to lasso wild Texas
steer and ride it, the way they did in the
show, and pa said that was where he came
in handy lie said he could throw a lasso
Just like cowboy. We got. my chum's
pas cow out of the barn, and drove her
up the alley. and pa stood there with a
clothesline, with a big moose in the end,
and he headed off the COW and threw the
lasso Well, you'd a dide to see pa
sweep things out of the alley with his
| pants. The COW was sort of scared when
we drove her up tie alley, cause | guess
| she thought it was time she was MIXED,
and when pa stepped out from behind the
barrel and throwed the rope around her
neck | guess she thought it was all day
with her. for she turned and galloped and
kicked up and bellered, and pa
die not know enough to let go OF
the rope. First pa followed the COW
down the alley sitting down, and
| about bushel of ashes got up his trousers
| legs and the tomato cans and old oyster
cans flew around like cyclone was blow
| ing. Us Iniins climbed up on the fences
to get out of the way. and that scared the
COW more. and she snatched pa along too
| quick. yeleld to pa to let 90 OF the rope
and Just as the cow drawed him under a
wagon he let go. and the COW took the
clothesline home. Pa got up and shook
the ashes out of his trousers legs and
picked up piece of board and started
back. You never saw tribe of Indians
| get scared so quick as we did AsI went
| in the hen coop and got under a barrel |
heard pa say That busts up the Buffalo
Bill business. No more wild western steer
lassoing for your uncle Ike Well, no
one was to blame but pa. He thinks be
can do anything. and when he tries and
gets tangled he lays it to me. We went
out on the street with our tomahawks.
when pa went in to brush himself. and
disbanded. and went on to our reservation,
and peace reigns again. and the Boston
girl has gone home with an idea
that we are all heathens out west
IL should think your pa would learn
after while. that he is too old to fool
around as he did when he was boy,''
said the groceryman. as he got away
from the boy for fear he would be scalped.
That's what told him when he want
ed to try my bicycle" said the boy. as
he broke out laughing. HE saw me
riding the bicycle, and said he could do
it rs well as | could. if he could once
| get on. but he couldn't spring upon 1,
quite rs spry as he used to, and he want
ed me and my chum to hold 1t while he
got on. told him he would get hurt.
but he said there couldn't no boy tell him
anything about riding, and so we got
the bicycle up against a shade tree. and
heput his feet to the treadles, and told
us to turn her loose. Well. honest, !
shut my eyes cause l didn't want to. Get