The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1883-03-15

Ia be lie beat skater IN North Amefo
wben be wa a hoy. ifa said lie akntct
once from Albany 10 New YORK III ~ non
aud eighty minutes. a. ...
1Me and my ohnm thought II pa wa
such terror on skates We would get MN
10 mt on a pair ~ roller skates nnd enlel
him as the great unknown ana Clean oul
remember that roller skates were dlileren
from ice skates, aud that maybe he conldn'l
skate on them, but he said II didh't MAKE
ary difference what they we're SO long a'
they we're skates, and ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
the whole crowd.
80 we got a pair of big roller skates for
him, and while we were Swapping them on
pa he looked at the skaters glide around on
the smooth, waxed floor just as though tney
we're creased. Then pa looked at the
skates on his feet, after they were fastened,
sort of forlorn like, the way horse-tDlei
does when they put shackles on his legs,
and told him if he was afraid he cOuldn
skate with them we would take them OIL
but he said he could beat anybody there or
bust a suspender Then we Strengthened
pa up and pointed him toward the mid die
of the room, and he said 'leggo, and we
Just gave him little push to start him ana
he begun 10 CO.. :. ,
"Well, by gosh, you'd died to have seen n
your heel and stop like you can Oh Ice
skates, and pa soon found that out, and he
began to turn sideways, and then he threw
his arms and walked on his heels, and he
lost his hat, aed his eyes began to stick out
| cause he was going right towards an iron
post. One arm caught the post ana ne CIR
cled around it few times, and then he De,
gan to tall, and sir, he kept ialllng an
across the room, and everybody got
and pa grabbed her by the poionaise
like drowning mans grabs at q straw,
though there wasn't any straws IN her po-
lonaise AS know of, but pa just pulled her
along as though she was done upln shawl
strap, and his feet went out from under
him, and he struck on his shoulders ana
kept agoing, with the girl dragging along
like a bundle of clothes. Ifpa had another
pair of roller skates on his shoulders, and
casters on his ears, he could have slid along
any better.
"Pa is short, big man, and as he was
rolling along on his back, he looked like
sofa with casters on being pushed across
room by girl. Finally pa came; to the
wall and had to stop, and the girl fell right
across him, with her roller skates in his
neck, and she called him an old brute, and
told him If he didn't let go of her polonaise
she would murder him. Just then my
chum and me got there and we amputated
pa from the girl and lifted him up, and
told him for Heavens sake to let us take OIL
the skates, cause he couldn't skate any
more than COW, and pa was mad and said
for us to let him alone, and he could skate
all right, and we let go and he struck out
again.
like pa ought to know better than 10 try
and be boy. This last time pa, said he
was going to spread himself, and II am
any Judge of big spread, he did spread
himself, Somehow the skates got turned
got to going in different directions, and pas
were getting so far apart that was AFRAID 1
would have two pas half the size, with one
leg apiece | tried to get him to take up
collection of his legs, and get them both In
the same ward, but his arms flew around
and one hit me on the nose, and L Thought
if he wanted to strike the best friend he had
he could run his own legs hisself. When
he began to separate / could hear the bones
crack, but maybe it was his pants but any
way he came down on the floor like one OF
those fellows in q circus, who spreads him.
self and he kept going, and finally he sur
rounded an iron post with his legs and
stopped, and he looked pale. and the pro-
prietor of the rink told pa if he wanted to
give flying trapeze performance ne woui9
have to 90 to the gymnasium, and ne could
not skate on his shoulders any more, cause
other skaters were afraid of him.
"Then pa said he would kick the liver
out of the proprietor of the rink, and he
got up and stead ed himself, and then tried
TO kick the man, but his heels went up
to wonct, and pa turned back somersault
guess: it knocked the breath out of him,
for he didn't speak for few minutes, and
then he wanted to 90 home, and we put
him in street car and he laid down on the
hay and rode home.
TOh, the work we had to get pas clothes
off. He had cricks in his back, and every
where, and ma was away to one OF the
neighbors, to look at the presents; and
had to put liniment on pa, and made
mistake and got bottle of furniture polish,
and put it on pa and rubbed it in, and
when ma came home pa smelt like colin
at a chaIity funeral, IA d ma said there was
no way of getting the varnish Off pa TIL he
wore il off. Pa SAYS holidays are con-
demned nuisance anyway. lie VIII nave
TO stay in the house all this week, "-[Peck's
Sun.