New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-08-22
WHOLE NUMBER 41N
Health Po,d.

While trying. to reconstruct tele-
scoped spine and put some new copper
rlvets in the lumbar vertabra, this
spring. have had occasion to thor
oughly investigate the subject of So
called health food, such as gruels, beef
tea foundations, toasts, oat meal mush,
bran mash, soups, condition powders.
graham gem, ground feed, pepsin, laud-
able mush, and other hen feed usually
poked into the invalid who is too weak
to defend himself.
OF course it stands 10 reason that the
reluctant and tiuttering spirit may not
be Won back to earth and Joy once
more beam i'll the leaden eve unless due
care be taken relative to the food by
means OF which nature NAV be made to
assert herself
do not care to say to the world
through the columns of the Free Press
that we may WOO from eternity the
trembling life with pie. Welsh rabbit
and other wild game will not do at first
But think am speaking the senti-
ments of q large and emaciated consti-
tuency when say that there is getting
TO be 4 strong feeling against oat meal.
submerged in milk and in favor of,
strawberry short cake.
l almost ate myself into an early,
grave in April by flying into the face
of Providence and demoralizine old
Gastric with oat meal ate oat meal
two weeks, and at the end of that time
my friends were tclegraphed for, but
before it was too late, threw off the
shackles that bound me- With des-
peration born Of a terrible apprehen-
ton, rose and shook off the fatal oat
meal habit and began to eat beefsteak.
At first life hung trembling in the bal.
ance and there was no change in the
quotations of beef, but later on there
was q slight, delicate bloom ON the wan
cheek and range cattle that had barely
escaped long, severe winter on the
plains began to apprehend new dam
ger and to seek the secluded canyons of
the inaccessible mountains.
often thought while l was eating
health food and waiting for death, how
the doctor and other invited guests at
the post mortem would start back in
amazement to find the remnants of an
eminent man filled with bran! ,
Through all the painful hours of the
long, long night and the eventlcss day,
while the mad throng rushed onward
like q great river towards eternity's
ocean, this thought was uppermost in
my mind. tried to get the physician
to promise that he would not expose
me and show the world what a hollow
mockery had been and how had de-
ceiyed my best friends. told him tho
whole truth and asked him to spare my
family the humiliation of knowing that
though l might have led blameless
life, my sunny exterior was only q thin
covering for bran and shorts and mid
dlings, cracked wheat and pearl barley.
dreamed last night of being in a
large city where the streets were paved
with dry toast and the buildings were
rooted with toast and the soil was bran
and oat meal, and the water was beef
tea and Cruel. All at once it came over
me that I had solved the great mystery
of death and had been consigned to q
place of eternal punishment. The
thought was horrible! A million eter-
mites in city built Of dry toast and oat
meal! A home for never ending cycles
of ages, where the principal hotel and
the postoflice building and the opera
house were all built of toast, and the
fire department squirted cruel at the
deyouring element forever!
1t was only dream, but it has made
me more thoughtful. and people notice
that am not SO giddy rs I was.-Bil
Nye.