The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-01-25
WHOLE NO. 1878.
Douglas Jerrold's Sayings.

My friend, the late Sam Phillips, one
day met Douglas Jerrold, and told him
he had seen, the day before, Payne
Collier. looking wonderfully gay and
well-quite an evergreen. ''Ah," said
Jerrold, ''he may be evergreen, but he's
never read" On my repeating this to-
Hicks, he smiled and said, Now that S
what l call ready wit. ="
Jerrold was in France, and with a
Frenchman who was enthusiastic on
the subject of the Anglo French Alli-
ance. He said that he was proud to see
the English and French such good
friends at last. Jerrold-Tut! the best
thing / know between France and Eng
land is-the sea.
A very popular medical gentleman
called on Jerrold one day. When the
visitor was about to leave, Jerrold, look
ing from the library window, espied his
friends carriage. Jerrold-What, doc
tor! | see your livery is a measle turned
up with scarlet fever.
The laws a pretty bird, and has
charming wings 'Twould be quite a
bird of paradise if it didn't carry such
a terrible bill.
One of the "Hooks and Eyes" was
expatiating on the fact that he had
dined three times at the Duke of Dev-
onshire's, and that on neither occasion
had there been. any fish at table. Il
cannot account for it." he added. Il
can," said Jerrold; "they ate it all up
stairs.h 90
!; A friend-let us say Barlow-was de-
scribing to Jerrold the story of his
courtship and marriage-how his wife
had been brought up in convent. and
was on the point of taking the veil,
when his presence burst upon her en-
raptured sight. Jerrold listened to the
end of the story, and by way of COM
ment, said, ''Ah, she evidently thought
Barlow better than nun. mn
At meeting of the literary gentle
men a proposition for the establishment
of a newspaper arose. The shares of
the various persons who were to be in
terested were in course of arrangement,
when an unlucky printer suggested an
absent htterateur who was as remark
able for his imprudence as for his tai
ent. ''What!'' exclaimed Jerrold;
'.share and risk with him! Why, 1
wouldn't be partners with him in an
acre of Paradisen'
Jerrold was seriously disappointed
with a certain book written by one of
his friends. The friend heard that Jer-
rold had expressed his disappointment
Friend (to Jerrold)-I hear YOU said
was the worst book ! ever wrote.
Jerrold-No, l didn't. I said it was
the worst book anybody ever wrote.
A gentleman who enioyed the repu-
tation OF dining out continually and
breaking bread with the refinement of a
gourment, once Joined party, which
included Jerrold, late in the evening.
The diner-out threw himself into chair
and exclaimed, with disgust. ''Tutl I
had nothing but a mean mutton chop
for dinnerr' Jerrold-Ah, / see: Won
dined at home.
Jorroid and eonao friends wvIo uin1u5
In private room at a tavern. After
dinner the landlord appeared, and, hav-
ing informed the company that the
house was partly under repair and that
he was inconvenienced for want of
room, requested that stranger might
be allowed to take a chop at a separate
table in the apartment, The company
assented, and the stranger, person of
commonplace appearance, was intro
duced. He ate his chop in silence; but
having finished his repast he disposed
himself for those forty winks which
make the sweetest sleep of gourmets.
But the stranger snored so loudly and
inharmoniously that conversation was
disturbed. Some gentlemen of the par
ty now Jared glasses or shufiied upon
the floor, determined to arouse the OBJ
noxious sleeper. Presently the stranger
started from his sleep and to his Ices,
and shouted to Jerrold, 81 know YOU,
Mr. Jerrold; but you shall not make a
butt OF metz Then don't bring YOUR
hogs head in heren was the prompt
reply.