The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-09-19
wIrAND PLBAsANTRY.

the ordinary ocutist; II Is thet OF young
lady who, instead OF pupil, has q professor
In her eye"
Ozcar Wilde says that American women
are sggressivefy awkward" He must
have seen woman, with market basket
in each hand, trying 10 board street
car.
"Wbat wonderful age of invention it g."
said Mrs. Peterson; al see they are now
making wire cloth, and I'll have some this
week 20 put seat In Johns every day
pants."
It's very easy TO start false reports. Just
because q woman, while buying broom,
wanted one with strong and heavy hsadle,
it was reported around that she was ID the
habit Of beating her husband.
Uncle Remus on courtship: "Man want
gal, he des got ter grab 'er-dat's wat. Day
may squsll en- dey may fatter, but lutter'n
and sousllin' amt done no damage yit es L
knows IN, en- rsint gwine ter"
A dude passed down Merrimack street the
other afternoon, and small boy who saw
him at orce called out 10 friend on the
other side: "Hi, Jimmie, dyer see that2
Where's the hand organ ne belongs top
Lowell Citizen.
Irish attorney Ito his clerk, who has taken
the blue ribsnd, and has been celebrating the
EVENT.: "I'll not stand IL, surrl Wild yer
plidges! Insfid o. tskin' plidges ye're al
ways breskin', yed better make no promises
at.sll-at.al-srd kspe 'emiP-Punch.
tYes," says Mrs. Snaggs, al left my hus-
band at home to take care of the baby while
went to the theatre. Ee didn't say any,
thing much when came home except that
never before looked so handsome 70 him,
but found the next day thst our parrot
had learned ZONE horrible, horrible words"
a butcher enters a lawyers Office. "Sir,"
10 asks, "when q dog does any dsmsge, is
not his ewner responsible" "Certsinly."
THAT being the case, as your dog has just
carried of magnificent leg Of mutton from
my shop, you owe me two dollars" f'Noth-
ing could be more just," replied the lawyer,
"xnd, fortunately, that is exactly the
price Of the consultation I have jus. given
you
A certain Judge of Avignon, famous for
bis love of good living, said to friend one
day. ave have just been dining on superb
turkey It was excellent, stuffed with truf-
aes TO the very throst-.ender. delicate,
filed with perfume. We have nothing but
the bcnesl' "How many were there ofyouH"
esked the friend. "Twor' replied the Judge
YES, two" repeated the Judge, "shO turkey
ard myself"
"Whst new studies do you take up this
comirg term, my dear2" enquired a boarding
school girl of her chum, whom she met at the
seGfide- "Do you know, Angela, my dear,
that ] have concluded that the proper study
Of wcmankind is man. shall devote the
rest of my life to study ing Augustus" an
Gagged, ard have hsd hardly an introduc-
ion Ard she pOked her parssol into the
ssnd vigorously Hartford Post.
"How can l leave you, my dsrling2" muir
INJURED lover, in tones of distressing tender
cess, as he observed both hands of the clock
approach q perpendicular on tho dial.
"Well, John" responded the girl, with
wicked innocence, "you can take your
choice. If you go through the hail where
you will be liable to wake up your father and
if you leave by way of the back door you
will be likely to wake up the dog"
Plantation philosophy: Oars more true
'lgion in do noe, handle den dsr is in de
sbersge pra'r. De msn Whist would abuse a
enemy when he is in trouble would no. help
frien' in distress. Des sensible mai soms-
times resds de foolish book, bat de foolish
msn neber reads de sensible book. In de
spring nature smiles; in DE- summer she
frowns; in de fail she signs. an in de winter
che slape yer. It amt de brave man dat
will apers fight when yer calls him liar,
fur de brave man can STAN more dan de
coward DE man what tells lies fur dc
'musement Oh de crowd ken be put up wild,
but de m an what lies ter make hisse'f port
ant IS mighty disgustin' bore.-Arkansaw
Traveller.
Two ladies summering st Rye Bsseh suf-
fered q nervous shock at the dinner table of
the hotel the ether Gay from the effects of
which it is feared they will never wholly re-
cover. The cause of the disturbance was
singular. The ladies were entire strangers
to each other, yet as they sat via ct Wis it was
only t0o apparent that thep were dressed ex
scily alike Their dresses were Identical in
material, style, and trimmings. The unfor-
tunate victims of adverse circumstances
stared maliciously at one another for some
moments, and then pretended TO be deeply
immersed in the bill of fare. Bat their sp.
petites were gone, and now a dressmaker is
minus two profitable patrons.