Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-04-06
OH KLLElposC0PE.

And Sadie answered, "ohr
But why delay
In this psnsive way9
Love rhymes should never llnser
He seized string,
And pulled out ring,
And put 1t on her nngerl
Found out-mud puddles.
A put-up job-auctloneerlrg.
Jenny Lind Is sixty. Shake Jane.
Maple sap begins 10 pan out little.
Jumbo 10 showing Barnum again.
Constitutional Acknowledgements.
Rev. r. hebcr Newton is going to rus,i-
cate.
A henpecked husband calls his wife wild
cat mine"
Has anybody heard from Professor Wig
gins latelyP
Don't you begin to smell soap-suds and
cedar oil
Only railroads can afford to indulge In
million dollar suits.
What fuss New Workers. make over o lit.
tie watered milk You'd think they lived in
the country.
An exchange says that thousands Of acres
of land in Texas are changing owners at so
cents apiece. Texans are cheap lot any
way.
In New York they send detectives to
church to look out for pickpockets. Entire
y needless. People don't carry anything
but small COINS to church with 'em.
Everybody must bide his opportunity"
says well-known writer. Some people
think it is better to buy theirs.
This is the time Of year when all the pa
pers are proclaimirg cough drops. Wish it
did
The small boy who put section'of latten.
ed stove-pipe inside his pants, and then
transgressed the laws Of the school, in reply
to the adulations Of his schoolfellows,
modestly remarked that clicking didu't hurt
him much-he had an iron constitution"
We never knew what Barnum meant by
advertising great feats on the tight rope"
until we accidentally learned that his rope
walker WAS originally Chicago girl.
The performance embraces the usua
features" - the young man said, when he
put both hands under the dimpled chin Of his
affanced, and inised her face for the Gus.
tomary parting kiss.
Illinois, II 10 said, has greater number Of
judges than Great Britain. All right she
needs 'em.
How naturally that character is drawn y
exclaimed Mrs. Popinisy, as she stood al
the window in her robe de NUT, bathed In the
bright moonlight and watched pa Popin
jay drag the little negro out OF the en.houst
corridor, across the yard, and pitch him ovel
the garden wall into BLOSSOMS premises.
A Maine school ma'am has in glass case
a collection Of lat "chews" OF spruce gum
Of different sizes and degrees Of ma!leability
or brittleness, all OF which she captured il
one term Of school. Real nice. economical
scheme. Saves her buying her own gum.
One peculiarly Of the wild goose is tina. i
lis mate dies 1t never takes another. w,
never knew why goose" WAS used as d
synonym for foolishness before.
Sir John Lubbock says that the heaven
are full of extinct stars. Theatre-goers VI
that way are imposed on just the same wa!
that We are, then.
My dear friend" said the physician to
convaescent, ''you can't gain while you
spirits are SO low" The next time the docto
called, his patient set out three whiske'
bottles and brandy flask, "There. doc
tor" said he, GIVE had EN- oil filled"
A thoughtless joke--One OF PuneNs.
An exchange says, Eggs mus. be .ecretet
before they can be land" They frequently
ere after they are laid.
Well, here's q poem,-"The Cry of tn
Corn" Shall we print it Not much!
isn't the corn that yells-it's the man.
The champion mean man has been discov
cred. He is hotel keeper down In Maine
and stsrches the sheets to keep the bug
from wearing out the bed clothes.
Neuralgia" Is the name borne BY charm
Ing girl Of Iowa. Won't she make som
poor fellows cheek ache, though
About this time Of year the good husban
becomes painfully convinced OF the survivs
Of the fittist
There arc lots OF little villages in Csnad
named after their patron saints, and one @
them is called EST Pie" Who would hav
thought that America would have canonize
q saint born over the line?
An exchange sdvcrtises WANTED, CT
perienced operators on girls waists" Til
young man who has but one talent will no.
. please step forward and unfold his little mar
kin.
/ An Ohio woman recently coughed up
collar button. 1t was very opportune indeed
for her husband had just dropped his dow
, behind his shirt-bosom.
Alaska IS begging for school teacher
When country gets TO such condition I
that, you may be sure it is mighty short
women.
Following the announcement that beef hi
riseh, Drondtheim. Norway, reports SHOW
= or Of meat.
Frank Hstton, . young scientist. and &C
Of john Hatton. the English journalist ~
author, wn recently shot while participate
in an elephant hunt. Moral, don't 60 shoe