Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-04-14
SHERMAN,S WEAKNESS.
The Venerable COmmandcr.in-Ch Chief
and the Pretty Actress.


The return Of Miss Alice Harrison to the city
recalls an incident of her career when mem
Der of the famous California company of four or
five years ago, which may still provoke a smile
from those who witnessed the occurrence in
question. About the time of Miss HIS farewell
benefit at that theater General Sherman WAS
visiting the city, and with his staff occupied
box at said performance Now, whatever
difference OF opinion may exist as to the mill
tary renown Of the general Of our armies. there
Is no dispute as to his being the champion
kisser Of the continent. In fact. the hero Of
Atlanta may be said to possess mania for labiaI
salutations OF fatherly sort, and is known
to frequently indulge In the proud boast that he
has kissed 20 per cent of all the pretty girls In
the United States. His chief of staff once COM
puted the generals monthly kissing average
taken oy and at large all the year round. dry
and wet seasons included at about SOC. or
say In round numbers, about $4,000 kisses per
each kissing fiscal year. If the general had only
adoed babies to the list of his subjects. he would
nave Kissed his way into the White House years
ago OUT MS reluctance to waste valuable time
and raw material in the pursuit of his hobby in
duces MIN, with the true instincts of veteran
professor OF OSCILLATION, to select only the pret
test OF the sex for that honor. At the benefit
referred to, no sooner did Miss Harrison appear
on the stage than the old war-horse snuffed the
battle from afar and began to grow restless and
uneasy. The staff winked at each other. and
soon tneir chief suggested the propriety of
gong behind the scenes to compliment the ben
et1ciary.
We must now ask our reader, TO accomnanv
US to the little Danish settlement of Eercyiand.
on the borders of the Baltic in the year 1881.
a village festival Is being held and as usual the
distinguished visitors gather to salute the girl
VINO has taken the annual prize for cooking and
virtue. There is young American officer amid
the number, who instead of printing the Gus
tomary chaste salute upon the cheek of the vii
lage celebrity, folds her In his sky-blue arms
ana settles down on her frOntispiece like a
hydraulic pump on an assessment list The
minutes fly bv. and just as the spectators are
about drawing their stop-watches on the last
quarter the young officer comes to the surface
again. AS he RECEIVERS his exhausted wind the
weather-beaten captain Of a wrecking crew ap-
proaches and says:
Dung man, I'll give you your own price to
ship with me as diver"
And why?"
:, because You can hold your breath longer
than any man in the business"
we merely relate this little incident to en-
Dhasize our story. The kisser was Young
Tecumseh. But to resume. AS soon as the
Stan were behind the scenes Gen. Sherman
pltched IN with the remark that he hadn't
kissed anything since breakfast Hewas stand
ing In the middle of the stage with his back to
the curtain. and absorbed i'm bestoyjng a nater.
nal KISS upon Alice, and feeling like Just
admitted angel sliding down a buttered rain
bow, when that imptsh young lady saw that the
prompter was about to ring up the drop"
Quickly placing her hands over the generals
ear SO he could not hear the bell, she backed
MIN against the curtain. As every one knows
TINS Is wound around huge wooden roller on
the inside of the canvas. The generals coat
tails were caught by this as the curtain went
up. and before the prompter could reverse the
motion the astounded man was suspended
ABOUT ten feet from the stage like sheet from
a clothes line. The audience went off into hys-
terlcs OF merriment, while the members of the
stan lay down on the floor of their box and
absolutely howled, for they only knew that
those convusively clutching legs and venerable
CATERS belonged to the commander-in-chiefo of
an our armies. But the first thing we know
the generals coat-tails will give way, so we will
ring down the curtain