News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-04-19
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS.
WHAT WE FIND IN THEM TO SMILE
OVER.
The Bad Boy and the CIrOceryman-A Warm
TraiI-A Little SmOke-The Lime-KiIn
Club. Etc, Etc.
AN ENGLISH STORY.

AN ENGLISH STORY.
At public dinner recently given in
large country town in England the toas
of the "Army, Navy, and Reserv
Forces was proposed in terms of equivo
cal compliment. In submitting the toast
the chairman said, ''This is a toast whicl
requires very little comment from me, a
the subject is one with which you are al
familiar. The Army and Navy have beer
d"1HlE for very many years, and the Re
serve Forces have nov been drunk fol
something over twenty years. The re
stlt r.a7 an cAPlualUu "a nI--...4..-.,, GA,
meaning Of which it took the genial anC
learned chairman, a gentleman with &
national reputation, some little time tc
comprehend; but when he realized the
dreadful import of his little slip he joined
in the laughter as heartily as any who
graced the festive board.
BROKE UP THE DRILL.
A Buffalo paper says that at fire drill
in public school of that city an excit-
ing scene was witnessed. When the
alarm rang out every teacher and pupil
was instantly in the proper place. Just
as the signal ''go" was given, a bad boy
Buffalo claims to have one OF two bad
boys-shouted: My, what rat!' With
yell that would make a band of Indians
white with envy, every teacher was on
the benches, followed by every girl in
school. Tableau!
THE LI1IE-KILN CLUB.
81 see by de papers," said Brother
Gardner as he motioned to Samuel Shin
to drop one Of the back windows, 81 see
by de papers dat Prof. Gillian predicts
dat in 1888 de Guild people will be in de
oscendency. Jist So Well drap two
mo- winders an discuss de subjeck
little.
MY fren's, - continued the President,
after long and solemn silence, "if
Prof. Gillian am not fool he am de
mex bes' thing-a crank. One hundred |
vars will not do what he says. We can't |
fetch it. We was BON in de wrong time |
of de moon, brought up on de wrong
kind O eatables, an eddecated in de |
wrong kind of slluIes. We have an
shall progress. Our chill'en will know
mo- dan we do, an der chill'en will be a
peg higher, an de day will come when |
we shall STAN higher in all de arts an
sciences, but we mus not forgit de pres
ent. Dar am mouths to feed, an bodies
to clothc, an house rent to pay, an fuel |
to buy, an he who loses day S work to
dream ober Prof. Gilliam's prophecy
shows his lack of sense. IF, Grter all de
present members Of dis club have been
~ ''' .....' "e'ff'nN IN de grave,
oe "lll'e Al'lll "e6lIl' 70 IoS9 Ill9 SIlL' d"
be HI rI~ht 1T-aussniIo .io.,u miss. n
'eE. i''t" n" ut..e H'"'+ of noau
~ ~ -
OF n'lloteu al nehce, an doan eN-
peck oaI oe Pr'''lcASliun ''V we Sllall "l-
Cliil"'ely VAIN o.'i ie9' Ii ''e "''ii' ~
Ooll leSS am SMllie " o'''I01S PIe0e'iU
nilllSef' we VIII Lo" lSIIeH our pe1Io
al Pltch INTO oe feSlar orIef Oh pIzlleSS'
-D6tfo" f''ee H'e$$.
THE TRAIL WAS TOO HOT.
One of our fox hunters gave a Journal
scribe the following account of an ad- |
venturous day afieId: Zone morning
lately, as I was crossing lots with my
hound. [ saw an old red run into
thicket. [ put the dog on his track and
concealed myself in the thicket, know
ing that fox will often circle and pick
up his old track. [ could hear the
hound baymg way off toward New
Gloucester. Then it changed and grew
more and more distinct, and l knew the
fox was returning. [ must have awaited
some half hour when I saw the fox dart
into a hollow log a little distance to my
left, but as he went out the other end l
remained in my hiding place, supposing
it trick of the fox to put the dog off his
track. The dog was plzZled only an III