The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1883-04-05
BECOME, DULL CARE.
What the Funny Fellows are Saying in the News
papers.

What the Funny Fellows are Saying in the News
papers.
How to solve a difficult problem: First
Woman" But, of course, there is no way OF
getting at her age" Second Woman" Oh,
yes, there is. Multiply it by two - Paris
Paper.
One Of the great actors: yes" said Brown,
Stalker is great actor. He is possessed Of
real talent" "And he hides it so perfeetIyp'
added Fogg, insympathetic admiration.-B0st0
Transcript.
Tragic; Was il a small, white curly dors
with blue Tibbin round his neck yer wa
loOkin for, miss?" Yes" gasped the young
lady, in anxious suspense. 'WeIl, Jack Adams
Newfoundland purp, he's a gone an swallered
him." They carried her into the nearest drug
store.-Chicago Eye.
A change Of business: "What man FINK
ton Is to change round ~ exclaimed Mrs Fem
dersOn. 1t was only last week that he went
into the grocery business, and now he has gone
into insolvency. "Oh, that's nothing re-
Piled Fogg; good deal more money in it, you
know."-B0stOa Transcripts
A definition: Scene, Highland police Ofice.)
superintendent Ito policeman -" What mean
you, DonaP, by entering John McLuish tramp
in the books of "a offs? What iss tramp" Po-
heeman-"A tramp, yer honor, ISIS a man wha
travels ABBOTT an seeks for work and disna want
it," Superintendent is satisfied. - Glasqow
Bale.
Use of the corset: ats a lonely road You
have to take coming home tonight, john
said his wife, with an anxious expression
" Yes he replied, every lonely" "And ven
might be attacked by assassins," she added
clasping her arms around his neck as if she
were loath to let him go. % I might" said
John. Then" she continued, yOu had bet
ter put on one of my cOrsets before you start"
-BroOklyn Eagle.
An unnatural grandfather: The parlor Of
the mansion of Judge Ravens is adorned with
number of his ancestors. The picture of the
father of Judge Havens represents him as an
old man while that Of his grandfather was
taken when he was quite young Judge
Hayens was showing these pictures to Tom
Higginson few days ago Why Judge"
exclaimed Tom, In perfect aInazCment " your
father must have been fifty years Of age before
your grandfather was born."-TerQs siftjags.
There was nothing mean about him:
" Charles," she said, as she leaned her classical
head upon his broad, stalwart shoulder, I
have but one request to make before our we'd
ding. Speak out dearest" he answered
huskily. 'What is it27 !" I want a lock OF
your hair" Takeit, darling" he cried, snatch
ing OF a brown, vinegar-eOlOred wig and fore
ing it into her hands. Take il. No one
SiaA ever SOY L IeiuSeu any request from ny
wife involving an outlay of only S15."-C hieag0
Cheek.
What they do not say: He" Your father
must be worth at least a million and you would
enable me to go through life in a style never
could hope for without you I do not love
You, 1t Is true, but-One cannot expect every
thing. So let us marry. If your father fails
| can crawl out of it somehow" She Very
well You wiz never amount to anything, but
you are good enough as far as you so. 1 have
trified with so many men that most Of them
hate me and | may not get better offer. If
do | can break the engagement. Life.