The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1883-04-21
WHITE PINE NEWS
THE BAD BOY CREATES AN DOOR.
The Far-Reaching Results Of n Few
Slices Of Linn Cheese.

said the groceryman to the bad boy,
as the youth was firing frozen pota-
toes at the man who was collecting
garbage in the alley.
40. they we're searching for sewer
gas and such things, and they have
got plumbers and other sanitary ex-
perts till you can't rest; and l came
away for fear they would find the
sewer gas and warm my jacket"
) you had something 10 do with
il, did your"
nSh-h-h! Now don't breathe a
word of it to a living soul, or I'm a
dead boy?n You see, l got hold OF a
piece of Llmburger cheese, wrapped
in tin foil, ut the dairy fair last Satur-
day. Sunday morning l opened the
package, and it made me tired. D, it
was the awfullest smell | ever heard
OF, except the smell when they found
a tramp VINO had hung himself in the
woods and had been dead three weeks.
Pa and Ma were just getting ready TO
90 to church, and L cut of a piece of
cheese, and put it in the inside pocket
of Fais vest, and l put another in the
lining of Mas muff, aud | went down
10 church too, aud sat on the back
seat with my chum, looking as pious
as though l was taking up collection.
The church was pretty warm, and by
the time they got up 10 sing the first
hymn Pas cheese began to smell a
match against Mas cheese. Pa held
one side OF the hymn book and Ma
held the other, and Pa when he sings
sings for all that's out, and when he
braced himself and sang just As l
AM Ma thought Pas voice was tine
tured with biliousness, and she looked
at him, and hunched him, and told
him % stop singing, and breathe
through his nose, cause his breath
was enough to stop a clock.
Pa stopped singing and turned
around kind of cross To ward Ma, and
tnen he sinelled Mas cheese, and then
he turned his head the other way and
said .whewi' and they didn't sing any
more, but they looked at each other
as though they sinelled fury. When
they sat down they sat as far apart as
they could get, and Pa sat next 10 a
woman who used 10 be "a nurse in a
b )spital; and when she slnelled Pas
oneese, she looked al him as though
she thought he had the small pox and
she held her handk erehief TO her nose.
The man in the other eilt OF the pew
II a Ma sat near, he va "A stranger
from Racine, who beions IS TO our
church, and ne looked at Ma sort Of
queer, and when they got up 10 sing
again the ma took his hat and went
- ,.,1a, ha aas.aa hxr ~ ha uatN
something IN a whisper about a fe-
male glue factory. Well, sir, before
the sermon was over everybody in
that part of the church mad their
handkerchisfs 10 their noses, aud they
looked at Ia and Ma scandalous, and
the two ushers they came around in
the pews looking for a dog, and when
the minister got over his sermon, and
wiped the p~erspiration OIL his face, he
said he would like TO have the trus-
tees OF The church stay after the meet
ing. as there was souIe important
business TO transact. lie said the
question of proper ventilation and
sewerage of the church would be
brought up, and hat he presumed
the congregation had noticed this
morning that the church was unusu-
ally full OF sewer gas. lie said he
was a meek aAd humble follower of
the Lamb, and vas willing TO cast his
lot wherever the Master decided, but
he would be blessed ii he would
preach any longer in a church that
smelled like a bone boiling establish
ment. He SAID that religion is "A good
thing, but no person could erjoy re-
ligion a. we'll IN "a fat rendering es-
t~ablishment as he could in a flower
garden, and as far as he was con-
cerned, he had got enough.
Everybody looked at everybody
else but Pa looked at Ma as though
he knew where the sewer gas came
from; and Pa looked at Ma real mad,
and me anu my chum lit out, and l
went home and distributed my cheese
all round. / put a slice in Mas
bureau drawer, down under her un-
derclothes, and a piece in the spare
room under tila bed, and a piece in
the bathroom in the soap dish, and a
slice in the album on the parlor table,
a piece in the library i'll a book, and
went TO tie dining room and put
some under the table, and dropped a
piece under the range in the kitchen.
i tell YOU the house vas loaded for
bear. Ma came nome from church
first, and when I asked her where Pa
was, she said she hoped he had gone
TO walk around the block to air hissslf.
IL. o...o homo ~ 1Innar and mhau