The Osceola times., 1883-11-17
SEASONED SAYINGS.


Always going 10 seed-canaries.
A sour mash stepping on lemon.
The great American tune-spittoon.
The last resort-a shoemaker's shop.
Ways that are dark-unlighted streets.
Wall Of the widower-"No one to
love-"
Chant Of the policeman-"Now lay
me down to sleep.
A tramp called his shoes corporations
because they had no soles.
Melody ofthe melon thief-"I'se gwine
away by de light OBJ de moon."
Said he, "Malinda, you are my dearest
duck" Said she, "Joseph, you are try
ing to stuff me-" That was too sage for
him.
A barefooted little boy stepped on a
bee, and soon after said 10 his mother,
ma, / didn't know that bees had splin-
tcn in their tails!"
A Newport swell changes his collar
J three times day. One would .Hssssa's,iy Hssi7'ssn,ifyS
while instead
u,sop-
Alas, he win mot speak TO me.
And dim appears my sight,
know not why he winks at me.
Unless he's awful tight.
The daughter of w. J. Mackay, who is
heiress to many millions, is eaid to be
"nincteen, pretty, and reserved" Won
der whom she is reserved fort"
The moralist says EVERY man is oc-
cssicna!ly what he ought to be perpetu-
ally" Then again some men are perpet'
ually what they. ought to be only occas'
sssnsiiy.
Like chestnut was her wavy hair,
Her face was tinted like a rose.
But, though her profile was most fair,
She had wart upon her rose.
Wanted-"A female who has knowl
edge of fitting boots of good moral char
acter." We suppose boots of good mo
ral character means those that arc vel
: soled.
FatAl-"You just take bottle Of IN,
medicine" said quack doctor to con
sumptive, "and you'll never cough again.
! Il 1t 30 fatal as that?" gasped the con
sumtive.
A young lady residing in a border tow
femsrked in regard to her fathers snor
inR, that "the neighbors all set thei
Washtubs out thinking thunder shove
Wns coming"
The proper sge-"At what age wer
you marriedr' asked she, inquisitively
I. Dut the other woman was equal to tn
4 emeTRency, and quietly responded, "a
he parsonage.
A solemn old scientist printed the fac
that by bathing the feet in tepid water
man could double his circulation, an,
now I'll the editors are having tanks iii
ted 70 their Office stoves.
A teacher said to little girl in schoo
II . naughty girl should hurt you, lik
good girl you would forgive hel
wouldn't your" "Yes, marm," she re
sponded, ''if couldn't catch her"
Maseall r. Wilder, at the dinner Civ
en 70 him in Boston last Saturday, wa
able 70 ay:. "When l came to this cit
there was not mile of railroad on tbi
continent; now there are 10000 miles. .
aAh, Mr.. Simpkins, we have not chair
enough for our company said gay lii
tle wife to her frugal husband. ''Plcnt,
a chairs ducky; but little too mucl
company" replied Mr.. sinpkins.
When you see a man without any Wis
fble means Of support living quietly an,
hiring umptuously without the sweat O
The brow" you may cohclude he ha
struck bonanza silver mine or gets q
penion.
sYes" aid Captain Jakes, ''as the di
Vfno williams says, One touch of nature
nnkog the whole world akin That.
~ roponded Colonel Makes, "and one
1ollcA of humor makes the whole world
I a Californian adventurer writes from
Mnnflan, 1--WE all travelled through Mex.
3 - without passports, and were all treat
& vosy well, except that they stole
: Z ything from US that they could lay
hands on"
: ~ ~ Il it to Minusk?" asked a
~ nan who Was going there afoot.
~ milea" was the reply. "Whom
~ eoinG to see there?" Faith it's
I'd like TO see there" was the re-
<on PIT his rosy little toe in
' 0IbG4 eax(l} than its father can
80 70 putting is foot ia
- experience can