The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-05-11
WITTIClSMS.

dicted in any town he visits.
Look not upon the stocking when it
is red; when plumpuess fills it up; for
it may cover considerable padding.
The modest young woman "who
turned all colors' has given up the bust
ness. owing to the multiplicity of
shades.
Mrs. Lantry says she occasionally
changes aplay to suit her style of acting.
1t raises particular blazes with the play
though.
Herbert Spencer says that every
American appears to have been born
half an hour late, and to be trying to
make up for lost time.
Sunset Crox is still telling about the
negrO's toast: "Here's to Gen. Butler.
who, though he has a white skin, bless
God lie has a black heart"
A young bride being asked how her
husband turned out, replied that he
turned out very late in the morning
and turned in very late at night.
Said Brown: smith won't have so
soft a thing as he has had" Il don't
know" replied Robinson; hell have a
soft thing so long as he doesn't lose his
head"
1t is said that sharks will not bite a
swimmer who keeps his legs in motion.
If you can keep kicking longer than a
shark can keep waiting, you'll be all
right.
The fashionable style of building in
New York 10 the bachelor fiat. The
elevators in these establishments are
worked by eorkscrews. - Baltimore
American.
A fashion item says oval necks are
more fashionable than Pompadour
squares. After all, the good old-fash-
Toned round neck is about as satisfac-
tory as any.
The latest story Is that Of a nan who
can heat a bucket of water in ten min
utes by just sticking his nose into it.
That's easily accounted for-his nose
has got a boil on it.
1t is not strange that many great
politicians have been enthusiastic fish
ermen. Not so much that they like to
hook things AS that they take pleasure
in pulling strings.
Several of our exchanges are devot-
ing considerable space to the import
ance of cooking girls It's no use.
We don't want them cooked. The raw
damsel Is good enough.
They say that a properly trained In
dian baby in Chill never howls. Bach
elor Brix says if that woman next door
will send down to South America for the
receipt he'll pay all the expenses.
A little boy went to his first tea party
when four years and three months old.
Upon his hostess asking HIM how he
liked his tea, he replied, 1T is very nice
but it tastes very much OF the water"
At a reception the other evening one
of the ladies present wore a black velvet
dress, on which were sixty sold gold
buttons down the front; Everybody
knew they were solid because she said
SO.
Teacher: IF two boys should find
ten apples under a tree. how many
would each boy have2' Bright scholar
THAT would depend upon whether
the one that could lick was apple-hun-
cry or not.
A master was explaining that the
land OF the world was not continuous.
He asked a boy: Nov Jack, could
your father walk around the world ?"
no, sir" And whyp" because he
is dead sir"
Ann Eliza writes to ask why a poor
man invariably keeps dogs. We have
not given the question much consider
alton, but we have concluded that the
poor mar supports a dog to keep "the
wolf from the door" .,
"Faix, an that / have, yer honor
three of them, two girls and a boy and
fOine vans, too" is the reply made by
an Irish-American citizen of New York,
when asked by Il magistrate if he had a
marriage certificate.
A woman returning from market
got into a street-car, the other day,
with a basket full of dressed poultry.
To her the driver speaking sharply,
said, "fare!" "No, said the woman,
Fowl" And everybody cackled.
In modern Egypt a young man is not
permitted TO see his wife's fee before
marriage. This is rather rough on the
man, but it prevents the newspapers
OF Egypt from making jokes about the
girl enticing hlm into an ice cream sa-
loon and bankrupting him in the first
round.-NorristOwn Herald.
you say your wife gets mad and
raises a rowY' "Ishould say she did.
She makes enough fuss to run a freight
train forty miles an hour" "Butif you
knew that she was in the habit of get
ting mad why did you marry her 2"