The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-09-12
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
A frame of mind--The skull.
A non r,iotura A oatt1a vard

A pen picture-A cattle yard.
The home stretch-Putting down
carpet.
A crop report can be heard long
distance.--Picayu1ae.
1t is the early watermelon that
catches the small boy.-LtttIe Rock
Gazette.
"Why do divers go to sea, George9"
Why, to get at the bottom facts. Now
run away and think up hard one.---
HdoOkeye.
Seeing a carriage full of bellies and
beaus drive by, Amidab remarked that
that reminded him of load of wooed.
-Marathon Independent.
"Under Green Apple Boughs," is
Helen CampbelPs latest novel. This
seems to imply small boy and good
deal of trouble and ginger and things.
Life.
Sophronia: Certainly, slangis always
Objectionable. Instead Of saying, "a /,
dead give away" we should advise you
to say, GA posthumous donation. '--
SOUJCTCCGC6 OOUffbIts
1t was the young tailor who said,
referring to rival for the affections
of young lady, that he thought he
knew enough to be able to cut him
out.-SomerUille Journal.
The cost of stopping train Of caIs
is said to be from sixty to forty cents.
When the train is stopped by another
train, these prices become somewhat
inflated -Courier-Jouq1aaI.
There was fair maid of Montrose,
Who was as sweet as q fresh budding rose
But a ruby excrescence
Asserted its presence,
And tinted the tip of her nose.
-NeU York Journal
Can a man marry his deceased wife's
sister in any part of America2-Eng-
lishman. Not unless the sister is will
ing, and as a general thing she isn't.
She knows him too well-Phttadet'
phta NeaoS.
1t is calculated by scientists that
man can make more of a blamed
nuisance of himself in five minutes
with a garden hose than he can in an
hour and half by any other method.
-LOlOeU Citizen.
An editor is writing series of arti-
cles on "Some Liars L Have Known.
If he has not been a journalist more
than a year or two, is not too elab-
crate in his descriptions, and publishes
three columns a day, he may be able
to conclude the series by Christmas,
l889.-PrOgTeSS.
When travelling on a railroad 1t is
said that lying with the head toward
the engine viii often cure headache.
A more effective remedy is tole with
the head on the railroad track in front
of an engine. The latter recipe Is
or the money refunded
NoTTiStoa01 Herald.
An Illinois editor thus sarcastically
speaks of the marriage OF a profess
Sional brother in Indiana: HE
stepped upon the hymeneal platform.
ad usted the fatal moose, and was
swung off into that unsilent bourne
whence he can never return save by
the Indianapolis or connecting lines"
A genuine dude has struck Laramie
He has a homeopathic head and allo-
pathic feet His pants are 50 tight
that he never takes them off, and he
has a plate glass window in one eye.
He got on the widest kind Of a de-
bauch last night with half an ounce of
sauce and bunch of cigarette,
He halls from New York.-Boome-
rang.
A NOVEL.
moon, q sky, church, an aisle,
A mountain high, Some folks IN style
lane; Aside;
Some trees, some grass A vow, band,
youth, lass, bridegroom, and
A cane. Abride.
A SMILE and sighs, Atenement,
And dropping eyes, Top floor, cheap rent
Alack Not all;
An arm, waist, Ten children gay,
A squeeze in haste, Who love 10 play
a smack. And bawl.
Titus S. Church, of Boston, is the