The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-12-28
NO. SO

mOrnlng-well-aheml-the all want
little larger hat for morning wear,
don't you seey' The customer saw.
"Chawley, where did you get that dia-
mOnd clustah, and what did tcost youP"
suffice it to say 1 got it honawably,
Fwanklin, and it only cost me one dol
lah." "Honaw bright, ChawleyP"
"Most truly so. What did you's cost
you?" "The same as youis but owe
on 1t half dollah yet"
Two Newport women were so effected
by electricity during a recent storm that
they could not remember the next dey
anything that occurred the day before.
Politicians have been known to be SIM
ilarly effected, but not by electricity.
Their case is more like that of the
woman who took 3hlorOform and "lOst
her conscientlousness for several hours
wonder what's become of the re-
vised New Testament?" SAID Brown;
"pon my word, haven't seen copy of
il for year." "Haye you seen a copy
of the old verson within year?" ask
ed Deacon Texual. "By gracious!' ex-
claimed Brown. Its funny, but come
to think of it, haven't"
Shiffen Qn his own estimation is the
rising poet of America). "Ah, do you
know, Miss Bracing, that my fancies
always come to me in my dreams?"
Miss Bracing: Yes, that is perhaps
why they make other people so sleepy"
Sntfin, after moments hesitation,
concludes that il would be we'll to re-
tire for awhile.
A girl called at lawyers office and
wanted SUIT entered for "breach Of
promise" Says she, "he promised to
marry me four times. My affections
have been bhghted." Says the polite
lawyer, "How much damage do you es-
timate?" "Well l was blighted four
times, and think 800 blight is none
too much.' So it was entered up $400
damages for four blights.
1t has been found that out of every
ten American girls who marry titles
only about three can be said to be truly
happy. This is deplorable, very de-
plorable; but, on second thought. the
proportion is about the same among
those who do not marry titles, and
these don't even have the title to COM
fort themselves with.
This is baby. 1t is girl baby.
How sloppy its chin is! How red its
eyesl What horrld contortions it,
makes with its face! See how saw
agely it kicks. How sour it smells.
How like demon it yels! Yet in a
few short years some man will be half
crazed with wild suspense, worship
ping the very air this being breathes.
devoutly kneelng at her feet and
frantically begging for one word one
pressure of the hand; even look
which will give him hope. Such is.
life!
Mrs. Van Kantalupe-"Yes, II con-,
sent to my daughter marrying your son
Mr.. Pumpkins; but of course our fam
lily prlde-we must look to the future
you know-our family pride Mr.
Pumpkyns-"UnQuOtabe in the mar
ket, madam. My son hasn't any pride
because he hasn't any family, but he
has 81 100000 cash and me to back him
up" "But the future posterity, Mr..
Pumpkins" "Posterity, madam, it.
would be safe for US to assume, would
rather have the cash than the pride.
Give them the cash and they'll get the
pride fast enough. Is it go?' A go
it was.
The tramp crept up softly behind the
unprotected female, and as she turned
and faced bin, he raised his glittering
knife high in air. An
hour later the tramp. haggard, despair
ing prematurely old, gazed sadly on
the empty little leather purse that had
held the savings of many years of in
dustrlous tramphood. sighed softly and
lay down and died clasping to his bo-
som an elegantly bound copy OF "Ma-
guire's History of the United States
and Hoboken, illustrated by over one
hundred distinguished artists" while
the unprotected female walked merriiy
down the road under the bright Novem-
Der sky. She was book agent.
Mrs. Topncddy remarked that she
once played baseball, and when Mr.,
Topnoddy asked her when, she told him,
1T was when was girl and greener
than agourd. Invent tothe bat and hit
foul the first thing. That was you.
In the next inning l made bad muff
and dropped nice yoGng man l might
as we'll have taken in. made errors
right along and the worst kinds of ones
too. When they told me to run l didn't
do it, and the best chance had to make
home run threw away. When the
game was over l was fooled into an en-.
gagsment on condition that / was to.
have half the gate money, and though
theengagements still continues it Is very