The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-11-07


well, it is not acephalous, as once We
sald 1t was. 1t is more than Ji.cepba
lous' Certes, we believe it is possessed
OF as many heads as the serpent had
not the Old Serpent, but the one TIM,
was slain by Hercules. Therefore. III,
premises considered, the f. C. Nevis
ance-n0!-Ne~s-is very many-head
cd and to US it appeareth that eacl
head is affected with hydrocephalus
which is, according to our reading, "ar
accumulation of liquid within the cavit,
OF the cranium," or, if you please
dropsy of the brain" When this dis
case occurs in infancy, as tho News is.
it enlarges the head enormously. In
old age, if that old age should be com
bined with bigotry, egotism, self.right
eousness, and inordinate vanity, it be-
comes one of the most loathsome of dis
eases.
This hydrodynamic 'really, in its lead
ing editorial of last week, deyotes. vol
uLsarlly, part of a column to the Hon,
journal, the first sentence of which
reads, to-wit:
In hiding behind its correspondent.
the journal shows the white feather
and Al admits its inability to cope with the
News"
In the strong language of the grcat
Shakespeare we would say:
angels and ministers of grace. defend us!
Be thou spirit of health, or goblin damn'd
Bring with thee airs from Heaven, or blast,
from Hell;
he thy intents wicked, or charitable,
Thou com'st in such II questionable shape"
as do all things from the Franklin Coun.
ty News, that the Home Jour.
nal will, reluctantly, break its thought
to have no more newspaper words with
the anonymous catcrwauling of some one
in the News, who does not know what
he wants, and does not know what to do
with it after he gets it. However, the
News is bold to say that the Home
Journal "admitS its inability" to
" cope" with IT-the News.
"Not able to cope with the News II
Why, this moribund specimen of hu-
mainly whose prodigious brain brought
forth so much vanity in so few words,
must be, mentally, huge behemoth,
like unto the one described by job in
the list chapter. lie must be, mental
", regular mammoth, doublc.horned
Rhinocerous, fresh from Africa, that
would eclipse the one lately shown by
l}arrett's circus in Winchester.
" Not able to cope with the Ncus ~
Why, this is modest, to be sure No
wonder the News, as we have said, has
more than one head. One head would
be too small to carry all the wisdom
displayed in its weakly editorials. Ger.
tes, if Ponce d Leon were living now
and in search of q fountain of wisdom,
instead OF one of rejuvencscence, he
would come direct to Winchester and
Implore instruction from the immense
and hitherto unsurpassed mental menag-
erie and travelling circus combined, and
all under one canopy-the f G. News.
"Not able to cope with the News "!
Bless the souls of all of us who are so ig.
norant and unable to cope with this
great mastodon whose intellectual Of.
forts, could they be converted into
thunder equal in noise to the vanity
rom which they spring, would cause
even Jupiter to drop his thunderbolts
ss only the soft notes Of lutte in COM
parison.
"Cope with THE NEWS! Why,
Jcsu ! This writer is whale--a Every
yhale"-in his own estimation, ("Sotto
'oce.") lie writes us If he thought he
ought to be
"a Colossus, md we petty men
Walk under his huge legs and peep about
10 find ourselves dishonorablc graves"
"C-o-p-e with the News! In what?
Not in vanity-oh no! God doeth all
,hlngs well, and in the wonderfully
beautiful law of Compensation He
has made to operate upon all, has given
US common sense, generous heart, an
honest impulse, a charitable nature, a
free riN to think for ourself, and, if need
be, rise far above the dogmatists who
preach one way and practice another
The Home Journal would not crapl, like
ho anal ,yhi,h ,,ty hnut foot nr uinuc