Morning journal and courier., 1883-09-22
ACQUITTED.

If Cain had been defended by sharr lawyer he would have pleaded insanity caused by excessive use of liquor, and been acquitted. Orleans Picayune.
 Two lovers in Milwaukee agreed to com. init suicide at the same hour the other night Next morning both were up an hour earlier than usual to look over the paper, and their disappointment and disgust at such conduct on the part of the other was too deep for ut terance.-Free Press.
 Friend to Artist-'I see the Art Commit. tee rejected that picture of yours ?" Artist Yes and it's all because one of the mem. bers was prejudiced against me. But I'll get eYen you bet" Friend-'I'n tell you how to get your reyenge!" Artist-"How p Friend-"Paint his portrait. it."-Courier- Journal.
 You said you were going to vote for me, indignantly exclaimed defeated candidate, 'An' didn't I vote for yep t'Naw, you didn't" ''Well, sor, in that evint there's only one conclusion that I kin arrive at '' 'And what is that?'' That towld ye lie, sor. ."-Arkansaw Traveller.
 seWhat did you get out of that case ?'' asked the old lawyer. 1T got my client out of it., replied the young one: ''And what did didn't leave anything else fer him to get. D Young man." said the senior, proudly, you'll never be a judge. There is net enough money on the bench for you."-Bur- ington Hawkeye.
 Almost a hit: "How's yer coming on in your new placer" asked Uncle Nose of Gabe Snodgrass, who had recently accepted po- sition as porter in an Austin hardware store 'rse not comin' on very fas, Uncle Nose De boss tole me sumfng dis mornin', and eff he don't take it back he gwinter lose me shuah yer born" stWhat did he tole yer?'' 'tHe tole me to consider myself discharged. D -Siftings.
 ssI have got two invitations for to-mor- row." said Clara. Charley wants me to go with him, and Fred has also sent me an in- vitation, hate Fred, and the place he is going to don't like one bit" linen you will go with CharIey?" suggested her friend. .sNo; I shall go with Fred. The tickets to kis excursion are S1 apiece, while the tickets to ChRrley's are only 75 cents. .'-Boston Transcript.
 The Professor, from his official chair "We who ourselves dedicate to a noble career find necessary to the complete fulfil ment of our mission large development of the body as we'll as powerful unfolding of the intellect. Our duties are laborious and painful. We must accustom ourselves to perform them without helps extraneous or artificial. The good engineer, like the skill fui mariner, must be able to shave himself in the dark without looking glass" pupil "But, if in the dark, how might looking glass aid him?" The Professor Silence the mouth, sir. You come here to learn."- City of Mexico Monitor. sse&
 She didn't like me when we met
 But turned away and pouted.
 Twas very cool, own, to get s.@az
 At first saub 50 final, yet
 ! clung to hope, and doubted.
 Strange as 1t seems, few short weeks - Confirmed my sanguine guesses; =s came to understand her freaks. 7 And even dared to kiss her cheeks + And stroke her golden tresseR.s
 So time went on, and as we grew
 To know each other better, zr-- E She brnyely learned to kiss me, too; -s-
 And when she strangely tried to woo,
 Somehow used to let her. z s7 The privilege still yet is mine s---z1 r.- .4 With kiss her lips to smother;gs-F,sass,, Still round my neck she likes to tWine s Hee soft, white arms. I'll drop a line, t gueEs, and ask her mother. s t-f5s5 4 This rhyme produces enxy-stEffe-l ; Within your reason, maybe; goSL
 | So let me take c leaf from life; a<5e s.a
 Her mother is my darling wife, zzz13asFzsSy s=l
 And she my blessed baby. zsl.is4-E s.s5-,z
 ts-sAF. D. 15. in Life.