Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-09-15
TIL II BAD BOf.
HE noS,r ENJOY LIFE on FARM.

boys SnauoW c1ibS III tiV StoiS, ""0"SN
by the boy, who looked sick and yellow
and tired. and he had lost half lis flesh.
"What's the matter with you? Haven't
got the yellow fever have you?" and the
grocery man placed chair where the in
valid could fall into it.
"No. Got the ager," said the boy, rs
he wiped the perspiratiOn of his upper
lip. "Had too much dreamy life of ease
ON the farm, and been shaking ever since.
Darn a farm, anyway. You see, have
been working for deacon on farm, and
struck it right about harvesting time.
Pa and ma came out to the farm 10 stay
day or two TO help. Pa was going to
help harvest, aud ma was going to help
the deacOn's wife, but pa wanted To carry
the jug to the field, and lay under tree
while the rest of us worked. and ma just
talked the arm of the dcacon's wife. The
deacon and pa laid ia the shade and see
my chum and me work, and ma and the
dcacon's wife gOssiped SO they forgot TO
get dinner, and my chum and ne organ
lied strike, but we were beaten by mo-
nopoly. Pa took me by the neck and
thrashed out 4 shock of wheat with my
heels, and the deacon took my chum and
sat down OH him, and we begged and they
gave us our old situations back. But we
got even with them that night. l tell
you, when a boy tries 10 be good and quit
playing jokes OH people, and then has
everybody down on him, and has his pa
hire him out ON 4 farm to work for 4 dea-
con that hasn't got any soul except when
lac is in church, and boy has to get up
in the night to get breakfast and go to
work, and has to work until late at night,
and they kick because he wants to put
butter on his pancakes, and feed him skim
milk and rusty fat pork, it makes him
tough, and he would play joke on his
aged grandmother. After my phum and
me had got all the chores done that night,
we sat out OH fence back OF the house in
.he orchard, eating green apples in the
moonlight, aud trying to think Of plan
of revenge. Just then saw skunk back
of the house, right by the outside cellar
door, and told my chum that it would
serve them right to drive the skunk down
in the cellar and shut the door, but my
chum said that it would be too mean. |
asked him ii it would be any meaner than
for the deacon to snatch us bald-headeG
because we couldn't nOw hay away fast
enough for two men TO pitch it, and he
said il wouldn't, and so we got on each
side of the skunk, and sort of scared it
down in the cellar, and then we crept up
softly and closed the cellar doors. Then
we went into The house, and / whispered
to ma and asked her if she didn't think
the deacon had some cider, and ma she
began TO hint that she hadn't had good
drink of cider since last winter, and the
deacon's wife said us boys could take
pitcher and go down in the cellar and
draw some. That was too much. didn't
want any cider, anyway, so | told them
that belonged TO 4 temperance society,
and | should break my pledge if drawed
cider, and she said l was good boy, and
for me never TO touch drop of cider.
Then she told my chum where the cider
barrel was, down cellar, but he amt no
SLOUGH. lie said he was afraid to go down
cellar in the dark, and so pa said he and
the deacon would go down and draw the
cider, and the dcacon's wife asked ma to
go down too and look ut the fruit and ber-
ries she had canned for winter, and they
all went down cellar. Pa carried an old
tin lantern with holes in it TO light the
deacon to the cider barrel, and the dea-
cons wife had n taller candle to show ma
the canned fruit. l tried to get ma not to
go, cause ma is friend of mine, and
didn't want her to have anything to do
with the circus, but she said she guessed
she knew her business. When anybody
says that they guess they know their own
business, that settles it with me, and 1
don't try to argue with them. Well, my
chum and Inc sat there in the kitchen, and
stuffed piece of red table-cloth in my
mouth to keep from laughing, and my
chum held his nose with his finger and
thumb so he wouldn't snort right out. We
could hear the cider run In the pitcher,
and then 1t stopped and the deacon drank
out of the pitcher, and then pa did, and
theL they drawed some more cider, and
ma and the deacOn's wife were talking
about how much sugar it took to can
fruit, and the deacon told pa to help him
self out of crock of fried cakes, and
heard the cover on the crock rattle. just
then heard the old tin lantern rattle on
the brick floor of the cellar, the deacon
said 'Merciful goodness, pa said Helen
damnation | am stabbed and ma yelled,
goodness sakes alive, and then there was
a lot of dish pans on the stairs begun to
fall and they all tried to get up the steps
at once, and they fell over each other,
and, o my, what frowy smell came up
to the kitchen from the cellar. 1t was
enough TO kill anybody. Pa was the first
to get to the head Of the stairs, and he
stuck his head In the kitchen and took
long breath and said, 'Whoosh! Hennery,
your pm is mighty sick man. The dea-
con came up next, and he had run his
head into n hanging shelf and broke
glass jar of huckleberries, and they were
all over him, and he said, Give mic mir.
Earth's but desert drear.' Then mn and
the deacOn's wife came up on 4 gallop,
and they looked tired. Pa began to peel
off his coat and vest and said he was going
out to bury them, and ma said he could
bury her, too. asked the deacon il he