The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-03
Good Manners,

IL is DOG dt dill necessary, uOI III
deed is it either seemly or right,
that politeness should be obtrusiye.
There are few things more ridicu-
lous than a fussy courtesy. The
best grace is that which bushes, as
it were, unseen, and only allows its
presence to be known by its fruits.
It should not be forced upon those
aronnd US that we are polite. True
politeness is a modest virtue. The
general result should be to add to
the happiness of others without
compelling any acknowledgment by
attracting their attention or that Of
On-lOokerS. The moment 8 man
becomes noticed for the poiiteness
of his manner and the courtesy of
his conduct, he very closely ap-
proaches, if indeed he does not actu-
ally cross, The line between the gen.
uine and the burlesque.
AS a matter of fact and expert
ence, the demonstratively "polite''
are generally insincere. There is
NO more contemplate creature than
the faw1ing and capering syco>
plant. He is a monster in social
life, buffoon to be laughed down
and heartily distrusted.
A true man may, unfortunately,
be awkward in his behavior, and so
lay himself open 10 the suspicion of
insincerity by attracting too much
atten ton to bis conduct, but it
rarely happens that the genuine
kind-beartedness and consideration
for others which produces the
ensemble of what we term polite
neys, is elusive. It would be foolish
to say that it never is so, but the
fault is seldom pronounced, and
when it g manifest in any degree
it is most deeply regretted, and no
one regrets it more than the
offended against good taste, if he be
gentle at heart, as we are assuming
him to be.
Speaking generally, it may be TAX
en- as rule that assertive and OBJ
trusive politeness is false, and
therefore insufferable. Instead Of
worrying themselves with the ways
and means Of showing their polite
ness, let those who would be Justly
deemed to be polite. see that they
are so at heart. Let them cultivate
kindly feelings and sympathies
Let them form a habit of thinking
for others, OF saving trouble to those
around, Of making the world a
pleasant place and life an agreeable
experience for all within the area
Of their influence.
Life is made up Of little expert
ences, and the more numerous the
petty pleasures of existence, the
fewer it's annoyances, the happier
will It be for us in it's totality.
1t should be the aim of those who
would cultivate politeness, to study
in their heads to make the rough
places smooth, the crooked things
straight, to speak the truth-in
courteous phrases, to reduce the
pains Of life to their lowest inten.
sity, and to exact its pleasures to
their highest capacity. Attention
| to little things is the essence of true
politeness, aud this attention is pos.
sible in practical sense only when
It springs from nature genera Us
| and kindly.
If this view of politeness is &C
cepted-and it is the only good and
true and worthy one-it follows that
| none of US need make an effort to
be ro'ite, or worry about the re-
| ouirements of what is called eti-
Quette. The only question to ask is
what we would like others to do to
US, or to refrain from doing in any
particular set or circumstances. II
we think a thing would seem kind
aud attentive, we should do it. 1t,
on the other hand, we think it would
be more thoughtful and gracious
to abstain from so doing or
saying anything, We should abstain,
however great may be the inclina
ton within US to take advantage of
a seeming opportunity for the dis
play of wit and temper. Infinite
good will result to self from striving
to be kind-not striving in our con.
duct, but striving in cur hearts.
We shall benefit our natures by
fostering spirit of gentleness,
and developing the finer parts of the
character, and the finer and better
parts Of their nature.