Daily Yellowstone journal. [volume] (Miles City, Mont.) 1882-1893, 1883-11-23
COMPANY MANNERS.
Ignorance the Chief Cause Of Ill Breeding.
from the London Queen.l

!
Holmes that in every Dialogue between
between two persons there were in re-
atty six present-two rs they were,
each Us he believed himself to be, and
each as he appeared TO the other. 1t
would not he difficult 10 add two more,
and to say that there Were present each
rs he desired to represent himself to
his neighbor. For there is nothing
more certain than that every word and
action of our lives. except in those
moments of passionate emotion which
annihilate circumstances, moments
which do not occur more than once on
twice in an ordinary lifetime, are regu-
lated by the effect to lie produced on
those around ms. And this hy no means
implies that ii is a universal or even
very general wish TO make oneself
agreeable. A man may delight in
showing his contempt for his surround
ings, he may be absolutely Indifferent:
to the pain which he inhicts, but he
will never lose sight Of the effect he is
producing, though he may fully believe
that he has done So For instance,
while men who delight in making them
selves disagreeable are as plentiful as
blackberries, those who voluntarily aud
consciously make themselves ridiculous
are rare as four-leayed shamrocks. The
misfortune is that our perceptions are
SO dull and defective that there is oft N
0 ludicrous discrepancy between the
effect We produce and that which We
believe ourselves to he producing. We
would none of us be ridiculous il we
could help it, but it is to be feared that
few of us have altogether escaped the
ridicule Of our friends, even in what We
regard as our most impressive moments.
1t is this inability to form Just con-
ception of what is pleasing to others
which is the cause Of half the ill-breed-
ing in the world. Good manners do
not consist in obedience to any set Of
rules, and the absolute uselesness of
etiquette in forming even their rudiments
is due to the fact that their very essence
is adaptability. What We call company
manners" suggests an unpleasant vision
OF thin veneer of conventional polite
ness, through which ignorance and val
garity are plainly visible. The re lson
of this, however, is not that there is any
innate improperly in mod Tying ones
behavior in accordance with Cle's sur
roundings, but that, unfortunately the
assumption Of ceremonious colrtcsy is
with many people 80 rare an effort that
it has all the awkward stiffness OF AN
infrequent and unfamiliar imprrsona-
ton. The general notion that l. per
fectly polite person is exactly the same
in oil compani-' is not tenabe fora mo-
ment, as there are actions which would
be the height of il.breeding in one place.
and the very essence OF courte-y IN
another. Indeed the diilernce lp-
tween good manners and "coupa
manners Is that one is the Ma uraI ry-
preston of ordinary courtesy, self
control, and knowledge of tine world,
while the other is an effort made for
some temporary purpose, or to bring
one self into harmony with unusmIly
difficult surroundings. Extra pias
taNen for this purpose j. highly com
mendable IN principle: In. those VINO
make the effort mely are apt to do it
aw warlly. and So have b ought t..c
end ayor it-eli 10 a'Srcpgte
IL must hc admitt,d that the com
pany manner, assumed hy sGlnr very
worthy people with the hcst in'cn,ioHs
aye Iirt short oi nlddruing tu tNrir
finds. What is 10 lie do with
host, IS who though she may b. the
not comfortable n,therly srHl "a
eNeryday ! E., Transforms herself into
a. intpieraIJ.e bora IN society hy her en-
dedyor to LIk OIL; If such sui, 'cta ,8
mapins interesting t. her gu So,
without any consideration as tow .n,. ~
she udcrstlGds them or no? 4 y T.
son OF THIS kind will talk ~ ~. o. an
artist, literature Ia an 'u'hD.. 'U'c. n
countries to a irty 'rr VT tlr most
sublime indifference. Il will cgl re-
compressed for the t'rlium Of tp *
b. the convection that She las done
her duty - an amcliOratiun nf her
misery which by NO means este, 4 20
her victim. Theg there are COOL ho:-
pit,,lo people who mb ttr egey
mon vi willow Il ly cir p1cts hy
apologies t at their far is no mo.o
c, It v, or letter prcpa.td, wi,lc IT Tho
same iiue tley pro es' 10 lei to IfJ
that more OF it is not On. u tan e.
merely human digestion can aIsuurlt".
Almost worse eyrn than thcSr afc tho
oll.fph onel g tcrta ncr.. who" "coIn-
p"ny manners CONSIST n ne "r lpNiUg
doan for second The burden II rnipr-
tunm mt, who apologize ii for u sIugio
mi No yon nrr u { talking. or eating,
m | al tn,, M a.. 4 ar ia ION.