Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1883-02-03
The SPooPENDYKES.
Mr.. sPoOpendyke Gives Mrs. spoopen-
dyke n Bath.

brooklyn EGgts.
"Now, my dear" said Mr.. Spoopeu-
dyke, as he bounced out of his bathing
house and thumped on the door of the
N occupied by Mrs. SpoOpendyke,
"are you ready? We must hurry into
the water and get out again, or we
won't get through in time for dinner"
Mrs SpoOpeDdyke emerged, bent al
most double and ~shivering with the
cold.
"Isn't it rather chilly?" she asked.
"Not at all, Mrs. Spoopendyke, not
at all; the air is rather cool but the
water Is warm. If you are going with
me you want TO 10Y along"
AS they reached the beach Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke left his wife and boldly strobe
into the surf. \ wave broke over him,
filling his eyes, nose, ears, mouth, and
then he strobe Out
"What are you standing there for,
ehw he demanded. "NhaI do you
take yourself fora big light house?
Did we cOme down here to take a bath,
or are We waiting for some ship to tie up
to you? What is the matter with you,
anyway"
ppm afraid ofthe waves" whimpered
Mrs. SpOopendyke; they're so big"
"Oh! they're too big for you, amt
they?" retOrted Mr.. SpOopendyke.
Wait till j get y man 10 saw you off a
little one. Better get measured for one
To suit, hadn't we? It's the big waves
you want, l tell you. Look herem and
Mr.. SpOOpendyke marched boldly into
tie sea again. Another wave caught
him and landed him high and dripping
ON the beach.
"Why didn't We come when / called
We? What dye want TO make me walk
all the way up here after you fOr?'
shrieked Mr.. Sp~OOpendyke. Are you
waiting to be launched like a ship?
can't you walk as far rs that? What
are We hosting up the legs o your pants
for? They amt skirts. Now, look at
me. See how | go in, and you follow
me when l beckon to you. Watch me
now"
Mr.. Spoopendyke plunged in and
SwaShed around a few minutes In
safety, but the treacherOus water was
biding its time. Another wave caught
him and rolled him over, pumped Itself
into his stomach, drew him under,
whirled him aroLnd, and finally de-
posted him, bowling, on the sand.
"GOt most ready to go ill.," he JerEed
out, as he climbed up himself and AS
summed the perpendicular. Think I'm
going TO slam around here all day, like
n wa~terspout, waiting for you? What
did YOU come here fol-? Find any fun
standing out there like u soda water
sign? Why don't you get into the
water if YOU are going to? Come on
now
Pm afraid" snivelled Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, "if | 20 in | know | will be
drowned"
NO you won't get drowned, either.
Can't you hold ON to me? What did
YOU put on the shirt and trousers for II
YOU meant to get drowned? What are
YOU doing around here? Now when |
go in again, come along, or else you sc
home"
Mr.. Spoopendyke plunged into the
surf, but as ne came up he missed Tue
rome. For q second or two he sprawled
around and then began to yell. Mrs,
SpoOpendyke eyed him for a moment
and then her fears for him overcame
herfears for herself, and with q yell she
dashed in and hauled him out by the
hair.
Spoopendyke; "Pm full Of the measly
stuff So you got in, didn't ye? lie!
. 90 of my hair, will ye? Let go, l tel
I We, What dye think you are anyway
"a steam BARRIERS shop? Going to lei
90 Of that hair sometime?"
But, frightened out Of all reason, Mrs
Spoopendyke chung still, and hauled
MIR. Spoopendyke to his bathing house
"Oh, if l hadn't saved yeu'' she
sObbed. -,
"Oh, yes, you saved me, didn'tyou?'
sneered Mr.. ~SpOOpendyke. "All you
want is four air-tight compartments ant
two sets of thOle- pins to be a patent me
raft. Are you going to let go Of tha'
hair?!"
And as she released him they wepI
to their separate compartments.