The Mineral argus., 1883-12-13
HUNTING THE SOAP.
A Tale of the Morning.

was washing his hands, the cake Of soap
slipped out Of his fingers, and. striking
the wall, few down behind the wash
stand.
Mr.. Brown Immediately got on all
fonrs, and laid his head on the floor to
see where the soap was. II was right
against the wall, and about as far from
one side of the washstand as the other.
When Mr.. Brown began to reach I'M
der with his arm, he found he could not
get half way to the soap, because he was
on his knees, and his back vas almost
broken, and a sharp pain ran up his
neck. Nnd he felt as il he had been
dropping potatoes all day
And then he lay on his chest asthough
swimming, and thrust his arm fercely
under, and took off about half a yard of
skin. THIS caused Mr.. Brown to foam
at the mouth, and say to himself:
"By graciousl this is a test case, and /
am going TO see If a cake Of soap is going
to beat me, If l have to say home from
business all day, and break the wash
stand up in the bargain.
So Mr.. Brown rolled over on his back,
and thrust his arm under as cautiously
as though there was a hornets nest I'M
der the washstand. On, on he went,
and Mr.. Brown smiled a smile that had
overy possible symptom Of victory in it.
By this time his throat was full of dust
off the carpet, and frequently he
coughed. But now his finger-the very
end Of his finger-touched the soap, and
that ~momentary touch vibrated through
his soul like a gentle benediction, and
- - T-,.k nron ~ aUnilnq ~ HnQf No
softly over his features as does the
| gentle summer zephyr across a field Of
bearded wheat.
That touch had a magic about 1t that
thrilled Mr.. Brown with divinest melo-
DIV. 1t was to him, in short, what
fpring chicken is to the negro, and
found as lovely a place in his dreams as
does the razor in the negro's boot.
Then Mr.. Brown turned on his side
10 see the soap that he might grab it;
but when he got on his side, his reach
was shortened, and he couldn't touch
the soap. Then he turned over or his
back, and felt the soap again, and at
tempted to grab it. In doing this he
only sent the soap flying farther back,
and out of reach.
In an ecstasy Of rage, he thought he
might get the soap by making a desper-
ate crack at it with his hand, and S, rik-
! ing it out on the floor. So he hauled of
and let fly as hard rs he could, and his
| hand missed the soap, and flew around
like a compass, and struck the stone
p~aper-weight that was acting in tle
place of the leg that was gone.
Before he could discover how many
fingers had been knocked out Of joint,
he discovered that the paper-weight had
been driven against the wall by the force
Of the blow.
Ere he could utter the words that
were on the end of his tongue, the wash
stand tilted and upset the basin of water
on him; and while the water was in his
eyes and ears, the basin followed, and
lay on his stomach like atombstone, and
pretty near knocked the breath out Of
him.
Before he could express himself, al
though there we're about fonr thousand
words inside Of him struggling to get out,
the drawers flew out, and emptied a lot
of tooth-powder, and razors, and lather-
ing-brushes on him. Then the doors OF
the washstand flew swiftly open, and
raised a couple of Jumps on him that he
will carry about for several weeks TO
come.
After this Mr.. Brown turned over on
his chest, and almost inhaled a iather-
ing brush, he was breathing SO hand.
He saw the soap distinctly. The soap
saw him, too. He looked upon it as the
cat looks upon the mouse that Is out OF
her reach.
And Mr.. Brown grinned ~fendishly at
the soap and said:
"Just come out two inches from the
wall, and give me a chance TO grab you.
| dare YOU to come out an even inch,
Won mean, miserable, five-cent cake OF
SOAP. So you'll take a dare, will your
If L we're only half your size | wouldn't
take a dare; l would face the music.
You are a spiritess, plebeian cake OF
soap-vou are only at to wash a dog
with. | believe you are only an lmita-
ton of what you claim to be, you
Here Mrs. Brown suddenly opened
the door against Mr.. Browns head, end
said.
f'Why in the world don't you come
down? The breakfast is getting cold"
II
replied Mr.. Brown, as he sat up and ran
his fingers through his hair, TO get cut
the razors and latheTing brushes.
whats the matter, anyhow, demand
ed Mrs. Brown.
al want to get that cake of soap Uui
from under the washstaud."
well, why don't your" inquired Mrs
Brown.
because l can't replied Mr.. Brown.
"I can't reach il; / can not get there"
Then Mrs. Bro Sn said:
"Do you want me TO get it,"
81 DO" replied Mr.. Brown, with a
grin Of contempt.
Gan right" said the wife, who there
upon simply lifted the washstand on
from the wall, picked no the soap, tossed
il TO her husband, and said:
"Men would never be able to get alonl
at all if it were not for their wives
Anvhodv Would think from the noise