The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-10-26
FOOLISHNESS.

Tue OdDy ~ KIN.
A prominent citizen of hicago visit
ing in New York. was steered into a
bunko den. The bunko men would
give $1,000 to have back what they
lost
"Why don't you ask a blessing? ?" said
the clearinghouse keeper to the board
er. HeloOked all over the table, and
gloomily answered: "Td like to know
what for2
A muff is defined as "a thing which
holds a girls hand and don't squeeze it"
Correct, and any fellow is "a muff" who
would hold a girls hand without
squeezing it.
A minister nee asked a condemned
criminal in a Paris jail: "What kind
of a conscience have your Its as
good as new" replied the prisoner, "for
| have never used it,"
when you are in Rome you must
do as the Romans do" as the Ameri-
a tramp said when he ~squatted on
the steps of a cathedral in the Eternal
City, and held out his hat.
A credulous man said to a wag, who
had a wooden leg! "How came you to
have a wooden legP' "Why," ans
wered the wag. my father had one. so
had my grandfather. 1t u n in the
blood"
Puck has a notion that nothing exas-
perates a clearinghouse mistress more
than to detect one Of her boarders en-
tering the house about ten minutes af-
ter dinner with an armful of sand
witches.
The smell of fresh paint in a room
may be ~effectually gotten rid of by plac-
ing therein a pail of water in which a
few onions have been sliced says ar ex.
change. To take away the smell of the
onions, burn the house down.
The speaker who alluded to his can
didate as "The war-horse that shifted
the battle from afar," climbed up to
the composing-room with a club after
reading it in the paper as The ward
boss that snatched the bottle from the
bar"
A Yorkshire man whose well lately
caved in contrived to make the authori-
ties suspect that he had murdered a
man and put his body at the bottom of
the we'll. and took things easy at the
Jail while they dug his well out for him /;
he now talks of suing the town for false
Imprisonment.
Wives ought really to be more care
full about telling all the truth to their
husbands. why do you start so when
ever come into the room? ?" asked a
bursque mar of his better.half. ut is
only my nerves, my poor nerves." she
replied, (which are so very weak that /
am startled by every stupid thing ]
see."
AT a school examination a clergy
man was ~descanting on the necessity of
growing up loyal and useful citizens.
In order to give emphasis to his re-
marks he pointed to a large flag hang
ing on one side of the school room and
SAID: Boys, what is that flag for?"
An urchin who understood the con
dition Of the room better than the
speakers rhetoric, exclaimed: To
hide the dirt. sir"
"Why do you put those horrid things
on the necks of those cowsP" asked a
young lady boarder of Farmer FurrOw,
as he was driving a yoke of oxen down
the lane. That's to make 'em keel
still while I'm milkin' EN-. said the old
man. as he winked at his wife" Oh
yesr' exclaimed the city maiden; II
ought to have known that" Then she
ran up stairs TO enter the information
In her diary.
How 1t struck her:
A little ragged orphan girl, who ne'er
Had a home nor known a parents care,
And who, with shoeless feet, and hatlesl
head,
Newspapers sold to earn her scanty bread.
Was taken from the city far away.
With others of her kind, one summer day.
To look pom the ocean. At the sight
Her thin sharp, face was filed with grave do
light;
And some one said: "I wonder what can b,
Her thoughts, poor child, about this mighty
sea-"
She heard the words, and quickly turneC
her head,
And in low tones, IFS thinkin', ma'am," sh'
said,
"I's glad l coined. becsuse l never sor
Enough Of anything at wunst before"
Plantation philosophy: De man what
would abuse an enemy when he Is In
trouble would not hep a frien' in dis
tress. De sensible lar sometimes read:
de foolish book, but de foolish mar
neber reads de sensible book. In d.
spring nature smiles; in de summer
she frowns. in de fall she signs. an il
de winter she slaps yer. 1t amt d.
brave man dat will arers fight wher
yer calls him a liar, more dan de COW
ard. De mar what tells lies fur d.
trntNonNn n- Ah ~ 49, 49, 49, L. - -