Daily Republican., 1883-12-20
MIRTH AND MERRIMENT.

Says /, is Mi: htor Smith in, sorr
Says The man wild The sojer cap, Wi
yez slip n"' So slips Until the close
and, ofa suddiut, he pulls at rop'
and-it'S the trcoth Use tellin yez--th
walls Of the buildin begin runnir' dow
to the cellar OCH murther, says
wnat'll become of Bridget and tit
chlder, which was lift below there !
Says the spj"r-c cap man, Be aisy, sor
they'll be all right when yez com
down Come down, is it p says
And is il no closet at all, but I
haythcn balloon that yen got me in .
And w!d shat tue wallis stopped s'ocE
still, anu he opened tho door, aud her,
| WAS Wild the roof jis over my head
And, by tha salnrrd Mol Kelly, tAa,',
pi'at savah IN from gOln' up to III,
hlvcra tnlu rely.
81 rAp"G. your husband will just
coin mon@y during the fair" sall a
neighhor 10 Mrs. ScLanmburg. 81 hope
50, was ne r'D!y, hat ] wash hot
sure Why, there will be thou,
sands OF people in Austin, and he can't
hep selling ii great many goods. '' Yes,
| know dot, but vas afraid Nose gtts
one OF his honest spells again. Every
vOnce in IL great vile he vas afflicted
init one of his honest SPELLS again, and
den he makes no ponies, and it wash
such II long time since he had one Of
dose honest spells dot wash AFRAID it
comes upon him shpo5t ven de far vas
going on
When the stranger remarked that he
was from ArkansaW, one Of the passcn-
gers suddenly turned and asked :" Non
are, eL ? Maybe you are from Crittcn-
de-. County 90 al am that" "per-
haps from James Landing ." Thai /,
it exactly" "Then may b- you know
my brother, William Henry Jones,
from Penn Yam, this State ." stranger
put il thar ." exclaimed the Arkaus4W
Traveller, ~ be extended HIS hand and
smiled al over " Bust my buttons if
| didn't help to hang your brother for
cattle stealing just before l left home -
The following extra is from letters OF
Indian children are the real American
English" These two oxes | don't
like him tall, because he too slowly all
the time can't much to do in a day
Wien | work hardly every time get
nose blood. ! like to stay in Carlisle
all the time best of good.' Boys and
, girls, we must try to recognize our les,
SONS. We must havea new courage.
First time is hard to talk English, but
next be easy as Indian langua o.
"W here were yon engaged last o.
aaked a lady Of the new colored cook.
Yer ousAten' ter ak me dat, lady.
~ Just want to know, Is it may tend
to give you character " Wal, lady,
de las time | was engaged was down
| III DO bottoms. | was engaged ter Boil
Phillips, he t.iillincst yaller man / ebel
seed Wy lady dat man stole my yea
ring and ruined away. How many
times JUS yersell engag Il, lady 90
Look a heall, sah," Indignantly ex
claimed co,ored gentleman, "does ye
| mean to call me thief? 2" Dat $ whu
| MEANS "An' why, sab ? Splair
yersct, ur take de rough consequences.
CASE seed yer when yer stole coat.
Well, dat's all right, but eff yer hadn'
seed me I'd er whipped yer, sho'. Bet
ter be- pertic'lar how how yer fools wiz
me, man, case | comes from prouy
family
Dnmley was making an evening call
and the nice little boy of the family hAt
been allowed to remain mp little latel
than usual. MA" he said, during &
lull in the conversation, "can whisky
talk 2" "Certaiuly not" said ma
'what put that absurd notion into yo'll
head ?" "WeIl," he replied, :" | hearc
You say TO pa that whisky WAS tellin.
on Mr.. Dumley, and wanted to know
what it said"
elbow long have you known the pris
oner?" Policeman" About four OF
five years" Prosecuting Attorney
SIS he in your opinion sane or insane :"
Policeman" think he is perfectly
sane" Attorney for defense-" Do YOU
know that as a police, or from materi:
medical" Policeman taints, Sheriff
PUSHES for u bucket of water, and tn,
tpan'c.
a certain country Clergyman used tt
tell a good story Of his going to u new
parish and asking Il parishioner wha'
his occupation was. " am tho village
rat-cAtchcr,' the inan replied, "anG
what are you? 2" The clergyman an
swertd that he was the village parsOn
whcIeupun the rat-catcher was gonr
enough to observe that he supposed
"we must all get a living somehow
con, Charles, lot us turn off and e
some other way. There is that bal
man following us" "Who is the fe
low, my dear" "Why that is the
man who was so near marrying me be
tore | met you. ] Just hate him.
-" BY Jove, so do l." "io'l ..
|" Yaas." "You don't know him
How can yon hate him" He didn''
| marry you, don't cher know, my love. ;
IL tell you,' said the bad boy. con
| filently, to group of youthful friends
my mother may seem smail-ion't be
Iieve she'd weigh more than do in he
stocking feet-but her slippers is heavy
though, you bot -
A baptist minister was once asked
how it was that he consented to The
marriage of his daughter to a Presbyte
ran. Well, no replied, 'as lar
have been able to discover, Cupic
never studied theology"
They had had a funeral from thu
house the day before, and at breakfa
the landlady solemnly asked, SIS there
anything worse than the cold grave
A hearless boAr,ler answered, eyes
ma am. Cold gravy"
Mamma, where's papa gone to :?
asked a little girl one day. He's gon'
to town to earn more bread and huttel
for you, darling" ooh, mamma, wish
he would sometimes earn buns sigh
ed the child.
We have struck smoother road
haven't we ?" asked passenger Of {
G ,nduc,or on an Arkansas railway
con Nc" replied the conductor, "w WI
have only run off the track
Bridget, have you given the goldfish
| fraah water 30 Ono na'o, Snr.