Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-20
LITTLE STORIES.

From the Denver Tribune.
A man, having been siezed by the
Small PoX, hung out Il Red Flag in
Front of his House, whereupon the
Neighbors kept Away from him and
Permitted him to Die in the Firm
Conviction that Honesty was the Best
Policy.
\ small boy was one Chided by his
Venerable Grandmother because he
Preferred lying abed to going to the
Sabbath-School. Grandmother, y said
the boy, 'tbe Christmas and Santa
Claus season having Passed, have
concluded not TO Worry any More
about my Immortal Souls Welfare un-
I'll just before the Sundy-School picnic
Season occurs"
A Thermometer once was Observed
in Il State of Excessive Agitation
why, my friend inquired the
Eight-day Clock, why are you SO Per-
turbed ~ Because replied the Their
mometer, 4 apprehend that am no
Longer Capable of Performing my
functions. Attic present moment, | am
Registering forty Degrees above Zero,
when should BE Several Degrees Be
low "Oh, no, guess not, said the
Eight-Day Clock. Mes, ann Con-
tident OF it, persisted the Thermome-
ter ''fol' from my position in this Vim
dow ! just Overheard q Policeman De
cline drink, and it must be II Cold
Day when such Phenomenon De-
! ours
An lmprcssarlo once approached II
Mule and offered him Advantageous
Terms to become II Prma Donna.
Alas quoth the Mule, with II Sigh,
That is mn lmpoSsibility, for though
| | have an Ear for music, my Voice is
Sadly Attuned.H but YOU can Kick?''
inquired the lmpressario. "At kick
| ing, admitted the Mule, 81 am Posi-
lively Peerless "Then,n exclaimed
the lmpressario, you have the High
est Qualification of Prima Donna.
Consider yourself engaged"
A bent Pin from his Position in n
char once i3ehold the Basement of q
! Pair of pants hard by. "Pray
be seated said the Bent
Pin, cordially. +" You will
Have 70 Excuse me- replied the
basement, "for however Much pleas
IRE cannot bear the Thought OF In
| ilictiug pain upon the miable wen-
tleman who has just Redeemed me
/ from his Uncle IL is Needless To
state that the Bent Pin hung it's head
in shame, while the Basement moved
| on in the Proud Consciousness of hay
ing exhibited \ Tender Regard for an
others Feelings.
A foolish Snowman once Advertised
for the Following Cpriosities:
Printer who carried Tobacco. a Negro
Minstrel who did not wear Plug fiat
ia Woman who did not Wash her face
with a Rag an Editor who Had Ten
Dollars in his Pocket, q Dog whose
Hind legs were in Plump With his
Front Legs a business Manager who
did not consider the editors Robbers
and 4 pair of shoes that were too Small
for the Lady who Wore them. The
foolish Snowman died Death Of Bit
ter Disappointment.
An Arabian Steel having been En-.
doWed 10y Nature with long Ears and
u Paint Rrush Tail, did not Repinn.
but on The Contrary, bore his Lot with
Philosophic fortitGde "How much
Better Fixed ana l.. y said he, Than
Most Men, for Some Of them Live
where there are no Flies, while others.
residing where Flies Abound, have no
Tails with which To Brush them
away By this Narrative Of Con-
ientment we are Instructed that Ma
ture made q Mistake IN MOI Providing
us all with Tails and Flies to Keen
them Busy.
humorist was once called into the
presence of the managing editor and