Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-04-28
Saturday Smiles.

The vile OF brand new member Of Congress
told her neighbors that her family would re-
move to Washington, but she was undecided as
to how they would live In the capital; she ia
vOred one of the Potomac fats.-Cincinnati
Saturday Night.
Waydown Bebee arose to inquire what had
become Ofthe Committee on Poetry. Col Fakir
chairman OF the above committee, bObbed up
with his quarterly report, from which we con-
dense the following: January-Thc total num-
Der OF poems, idyls refrans, laments, ETC., re-
ceived during this month was $685. Total weight
Of same on Fairbanks scales twenty-One
pounds. Three poems had been laid aside to
be read at the grave of Giveadam Jones when
ever he died. six idyls sold at very low rates to
an insane asylum, and fifteen laments distrib-
uted among political candidates who got left
The remainder of the stock had been burned
February-The total number received this
month was sixty three, consisting mostly of la
ments. All used to kindle. the lodge fire.
March-Over 400 poems were received during
this month, some of them containing as many
as seventy verses. but the box containing them
was left in the COlOnel's wOodshed, and his
mule walked in one night and devOured every
scrap OF paper. Result: Death of the mule in
side OF six hOurs.-Detroit Free Press
"Thats what beats me-" said a befuddled
man, as he glanced at the broomstick
York Commercial Advertiser.
In Washington. "What does that figure on
the Capitol represent" Liberty" ''Fefnale
figure, is it nOt?" Yes" "Very pretty? but
what kind of woman is this symbol of liberty
and independence supposed to be-" "a ant
girl, l believe. Philadelphia Ne,os.
So many murderers are reported as eating a
hearty meal the morning before being executed,
that an exchange thinks physicians should pre-
scribe hanging for persons suffering from loss
of appetite. The fatal objection to such rem
edy is that man is liable to choke to death al
most as soon as his appetite is restored.-Nor-
riStO,cn Herald
The addresses of certain young man having
been declined by young lady, he paid court to
her sister "How much you resemble your sis
''You have got the same hair, and the same fore
head; and same eyes-"And the same noes" she
added quickly. He has stopped calling at that
house.-Cincinnati Saturday Night
A philosophical son of Erin was overheard
remarking to q friend. '.Have a good time
while you live, for you're long while dead!"-
Life.
A medical writer says children need more
wraps than adults. They generally get more
Exchange.
The profits on the sale of Arthur Sullivan's
Lost Chord" have reached 100000. By Saint
Cecilia, and we had a chance, we would lose q
whole woodward for half the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Hd,ckeye.
Terra cotta!" said country woman in
Boston store, repeating the name after the
clerk. us that French for cinnamon" mot
that know of, madam, answered the smirk-
ing salesman. LA. you needn't laugh; I've
known the color before you was born, but
never heard it called nOthin' but cinnamon
brown" All of which illustrates the folly of at
tempting to get up anything new in this be-
nighted age"
Flush times-when the young man proposes
Burlington Free Press