davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-03-30
The S'Dude. +"

What is the ''duder' Is he, like the
'.masher," a creature wearing pants"
and going around the town seeking
maidens by the score whose hearts he
may reduce to the consi .tency OF calf $.
foot Jelly? No, the "dude" is not like
the "masher." 1t is true that he also
appears in bifurcated garments. and is
jewel set IN the conlding tailor &C.
count books, but his aim in life is quite
different. He has no g traneous object
in behalf of which he is will NO to incur
ridicue. His thoughts all center in
himself. 1t is to please himself that he
wears the most pointed OF pointed shoes,
the most English of Fngl sh .'stove.
pipes" the b ggesto- big headed canes.
the tightest OF tight trousers. He is sc
wrapped up in his usually thin and
slender person that he generally failsto
notice any one until rem, ndei by actual
phys cal demOnstrat on that there are
otherpeop e in the world. IL. +.
The origin of the .'dude" is matter
of dispute. but there is no doubt about
his istence. He is stubborn facten
countered at the clubs. at parties and
at the thea ers, There he is generally
to be found with downward stare on
his immobile features. as if he was
posturing for model of the great
Buddha himself The I'd de" is moth
ing if not serious. The frivolit;es OF
this world move m not. He lets every.
body know by the curves of h mouth
that while he may be among them he is
not Of them. He wraps his dignity
about him and will stand, Socrates-like,
in meditation Tor hours if permitted to
do so. He 8 like unto nothing 80.
ciety' has ever before seen, and yet in
o serving him one can not hel, feeling
that he is not at all original, but an ar.
rant pretender and humbug.,
Where the Z" u lie" got his name no
body knows. The dictionaries throw
no light On it. The most reasonable
theory appears to be that it was giver
to him by Columbia College students
among some of the classes OF which he
is said to be quite numerous--in conse
quence o. his languidly drawing out the
French "Je-doute,,I when appealed tc
on behalf of any positive statement
That the "dude' is OF collegiate origin
appears certain. lie is in reality but
a copy eft the English undergraduate
who aspires to be considered super OF
intellectual being. has all the man
nerisms o the oxford and Cambridge
sophs. His careful attention to h tail
or's work, his fOndness for the conven
tional evening costume, including the
glossy beaver often abs rdly out OF
place, h S pretentious assumption OF
gravity of desneaRor. are alb on rma.
tory of the theory that he is merely
mani es alton of new variety of Anglo
mania.
The '.dude," thus reduced to his
component elements,i lis seen to be very
harmless creature. He is bv no means
so dangerous as the ''masher' be
MAY be verV dull company, for joke is
a thing which he disdains, but he will
never hurt any body-Lot even himsel
There is even hope that he may evolute
into, .someth ng Useful. The constant
effort to app ear as if he had some brains
NAV in course of time produce !a1
crop, and the community will be the
RICHER in consequence.-A., Ys Graphic.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-03-30
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL.

The Mcthodists are preparing tt
establish university in East Ten.
nessee.
A. E. Kent OF San Francisco, has
given $50, coo 10 Yale College. TO be
used in erecting chemical LABORATORY.
The New England Conservatory OF
Muse. at foston. founded bv DR. Eben
Tourgee, has been presented by him &c
a Board of Trustees. 1t is the largest
mus school in the world. Boston
Herald.
Nathan Golf. of Clarksburg, W.
Va. uncle of Representative Nathan
Golf, has for sixty years been a volun.
teer distri utor of the Bible He est.
mates that he has thus distri' uted be.
tween %, 600 and p, 600 volumes.
/; Miss Anna Oliver. who resuscitated
and built up Methodist Church in
Brooklyn. N. z. has resigned the pas,
torate thereof. fter four We rs service.
because while she. a woman, remained
In the p storal Office the church could
have no standing in the denomination.
IN J. Sun.
A writer in the Rome On. ~ Sen.
einei makes the suggestion that arith-
metic might be made much easier fol-
scholars If they were ut the outset
made to learn the multiplication table
as. ar as twenty times twenty. He al G
advocates the syst m of factoring mum.
bers as a great saving of time and
iaboE lGsirars4 - ..t s..s. 'g-,E--s
81. An eight-year-o!d girl a pill in o
public school. died in Bal imore recent.
ly from brain fever. brought on by over
study. The child had felt terror! oil
being redu ed to lower grade. and in
iher delirium for for weight hours be.
fore her death continued to calculate
sums in arith etic. baltimore sun.
The RaH-MaV Gazette arraigns the
authorit es of London for failing to pro-,
tect the ovation army from the attacks
of the Skeleton army" which, it says
is composed of a ,beggarls ARA OF
hobble' lehovs led by prentice boy
Just out of his teens who but the other
day left the ranks of the Salvation ar ~
to head the 'rabble of the assai ants"
THE Rev. Thomas. W.. Bishop. OF
Boston Universe y, said in recent ser
mon: "When l state that tive of our
" hS "ohOH pau ttCi way thiouSh
the college by doing the washing and
ironing of two fam lies evenings before
our re ent scholarships we e estab,
iished. and that when AID was offered tc
them they were quite reluctant to take
it, you W II have some idea o how hard
some people work to secure an educa.
tion.p So III D.
The methods of General Booth OF
the Salvation army, are illustrated by
the following performance. which took
place recently at Plymouth. ng and
f. A rough ooking bulky man stepped
forward in dilapidated jersey and
trousers to correspond, and related the
bles ings he had experienced as re.
suit of his conversion. Suddenly. be.
fore the aud ence, the man loosened
two or three strings. kicked Off the jer.
sey, and trousers. and stool confessed
jim the smart uniform of the ar"y-
trim, orderly and respectable. There
was at first muTmur of surprise.
and then chorus of .ha lelu abs IRON
all parts of the meeting" =
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-03-30
FACTS AND FIGURES.

Chicken business is not small con-
Germ when it is estimated that $75. OO0,-
600 is the value of the eggs Of the coun-
try each year.
Maine sold s125,0O0 worth OF
spruce gum last year At fEs .0ents q
chew this would represent an aggregate
of IL, 500. 600 American girls and boys
made happy. -
= The Edison lamp factory at New
ark, N. j., can turn out 10, 90 lamps a
day, and yet each lamp passes through
more than 200 distinct stages during its
manu- acture.-M y. Sum 80
--One of those persons who keep
records" says that 1874 feet Of snow have
fallen in the Ashuelot Valley, New
Hampshire. during the past twenty
three years The smallest ia l in one
year was IS inches; the deepest 1Ol
inches. ., -s co., s-..f ~. ''
In France, upwards of a. million
foreigners now reside. only 30. coo of
whom are English. while $50. QUO are
Beleians, $50, 600 Italians, $50. 900 Ger
mans. 10000 Swiss. and 10000 Span
iards. Thirty years ago the Germans
numbered only 57.061 and the Italians
only $3.50. 81. a-f ~
. Already during the present year
seventeen separa notices OF the dis
covery of gold and silver in the Stale
of New York have been filed with the
Secretary of State. These claims are
distributed among the counties as fol-
lows: ERIK .mer, 5; luton, s.; Hamil-
ton. 3; and Saratoga. Otsego, Putnam
and Rensselaer, each.AN. =. Times.
The report of the minister OF
crown lands the Province of = uebec
shows that during the year, covered by
the returns PA, '67 acres of public
lands were sold for the sum oil $751;
1 S.79, on account of the same, and o.
sales previously made. s69, 74l.29 were
collected The proceeds of the sales of
agricult raj lands amounted to $685.
S55.Sl. and those of mining lands to
SIS, 907.4S.
The largest cotton-mill in the
United States is that of the Clark
Thread Company Just opened at kear-
ny. on the let bank of the ] assaic. 1t
cost over 81, 100000. 1t contains GAO
machines, weighing 100 0.O0O pounds,
which, in a single day of ten working
hours. could produce length of yarn
sufficient to encircle the earth four
times, but SO fine that it would weigh
only 1000 pounds. -NeaCark en- ~
Register.
In all Great Britain and Ireland,
with popul ton anproximating 81
O00, 900. there are between 1000 and
$4,000 lawyers, In the Jnited States.
with a population larger by on'y L.
co.. 900. there are Is. QUO lawyers, and
in New York State. with tenth of the
country's population. abide sixth of
its entire body of lawyers. There is
LAWYER to cry 5000 people in Great
Britain. while in America there is a law
yer to every 800 people. Albany en-
T. journal. a.'. ... 4:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-03-30

The manufacture of mac ;roni and
vermicelli is ASSUMING large d.mens ons
in aliforna Apecul ar k nd of wheat
is used that is grown on the islands of
the S or mento River from seed i'm
ported from It ". About 10000 cks
of this wheat are used every year. Some
5000 boxes of the macaroni are con-
sumed annually in the STATES and Ter
ritories ives: of the Rocky Mountains.
exclusi e OF the CITY of San Francisco,
VIII Oh uses 5, 900 boxes more Over
$50 o boxes 60. to Mexico. Australia.
Central merica, China the Sandwich
and South Sea Isl nds. Ala calls
forl 700 pound and some is senseven
to s. beria-San Francisco ChrOa.cle.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-03-30
Will You Be Mine 2"

Among the passengers who sailed OF
the steamship British Crown from Liv-
erpool re emily was a bright, vivaciou.
miss of twenty summers by he name OF
Fannie Riley. Although she had left
home and friends, the passengers and
sailors noticed thatshe was, wonderfully
happy. She was torn in Halifax. En-.
gland, and there spent her childhood.
As she developed from school girl to 9
modest maiden, she naturally enough
became the object of many admirers,
among whom was He0ry Bentley, who
fondly dreamed that some day she
would become his wife. Bentley bade
good-by to his sweetheart about two
years ago, taking passage for America,
where he received to make bold str de
for wealth. Arriv ng in Philadelphia.
he soon found employment, and care
full saved his money until he lie tina!
he needed naught save Fannie to make
him happy. ew ole to anne. asking
her bluntly. 'Will you be mine?" The
answer came by nett mail: yes"
She gathered together her wardrobe and
deparie on the steamer above named
Although she su cred greatly from sea
sickness. the thought of her approach
ing marriage kept her spirits up. Al
the vessel neared the dock yesterday
she sighted her lover. and before tho
sh p touched the wharf the girl haf
leaped to the shore, and thew were
clasped in each other arr 8. Seeming.
ly oblivious to all surroundings, the
happy pair Rugged and ssed until they
were obi ed to desist for want o. breath
The love-sick couple entered carria q
and gave orders to drive to the near.
est minister The parsonage reached,
the pair aiighted. aud, were SO n be'oiv
.the clergyman. When the significant !
now pronounce you man and wife, hal
been sa d, the loving pair again entered
the, carriage, which was soon lost from
sight in a de street Philadelphia Cor.
N. y. Journal.
Imagine an alderman and two CON.
mon councilmen taking a little supper
at the city's expense for VIII CHI twents
dollars is charged That money would
buy two hundred plates o hash. eight
hundred do ghnuts or 1000 crackers,
with cheese thrown in. 1t would buy
forty pots of beans and pork at fly
cents each, forty plates OF roast bee',
fifty lobster salads. OF one hundred and
tn rty-three and a third pieces of pie.
What enormous appetites Boston Ter.
aid.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-03-30

A man has figured that there are in
this country about Il, 0O0, 100 pet cana
RED. which zainaally usa l. OOO, 600
pounds D seed worth s1%9o0. 900. and
that twentS-t*o manu- Sct6ries made
4, O0O, OoU cages last year.
ARA full-lepgth peytrait, of General
White House ! fsN ass Is asc. - IL 'A'
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1883-10-27
PITH AND POINT.

The affections are like lightning.
you can not tell where they will strike
till they have fallen.-CAacago Journal.
Official reports state that the Brit
ish census embraces 1900, 900 women.
Who wouldn't be a census.-CIhscaqo
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1883-10-27

there drink It The milk nm, a..
at sunrise, and so when the .n .astest
over the mountains the people oa rise:
men, and women. and children. " ,;e3j
their bowls in their hands, to ost WIZ
milk. They only have to hold tiRe Ing sns
close to the tree, and the little ,.tl
stream 500 fills it. If they like. Iills
can set it away when thew get ha .ney
and in a little while it viii f1r, u .ni
like cream" ~nc7
"What a wonderful tree,r Ill
Robbie. "Does it look like an, SAD
mon treep" CON-
Yes" said mamma; "onl, !. j
very tall-a great deal taller than .a 1
of the trees here. 1t has beautiful dss ly
green leaves, pointed at the end on;
longer than my hand; and tiuy l; t !
flowers. and small, round fruit WIKI ts Y
little leaf on the top like a cap"
"But, mamma" said Harry. .ro.
haven't told us where the country yG y
where all these strange things are i =
"It's among the Gordilleras. IN A..
coast of Caracas" answered mamma aug
"But l don't know any better now $,
said Harry. 81 never heard Of that
place before" "a
Il know it," said mamma, smilins.|
"but you can take papa's big atlas ~
morrow and find it," "
"Oh, please tell us now" begged
Robbie. DOW
But mamma only shook her head and
smiled again.
"That's just like you mamma" said
Harry. You always leave sometime
for us to find out for ourselves, and i
like it. Rob and 1 will have a cood
time tomorrow hunting up that place, \
every we'll" said mamma. .Nov|
scamper to bed, little men."-Mrs
Cdrbee, in Christian Union.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1883-10-27
A Land Of the Dead.

China, almost wherever YOU see it, il
a land of the dead. For thousands of
years Cinnamon have been assiduously
employed in purying each other. 1t is
the habit of the celestial mourner to
''plant" his relative in a grave that
shall last. In the North there are few
graveyards; that is to say, few places
exclusively devoted to defunct cele-
brities. The person who. is dead is
placed in the most convenient and COM
Portable spot which offers itself, and
that may chance to be in the centre of
q field of rice or on the roadside. If
his relative be rich they at once raise a
huge mound of earth over him; if they
do not happen to have a great amount
Of d%Isposable funds they put the coffin
down in the field or on the roadside,
thatch it with a little straw, and leave
it till the money for a mound can be
got together; or they erect over it .
little structure of loose bricks and tiles.
The wind and rain do their work, and SO
the traveller sees all over the landscape
mounds of earth tianked by exposed
collins. These collins are no flimsy
structures as in England, but substan-
tial structures of wood, made to last,
and consequently it is no unusual thing
to count many score of them at any n
point of the landscape in the interior.
This does not lower the spirits of the
Chinese. 1t possibly gives them typhoid
fever; but that is another question. On
the stranger its effects are novel and
various. All the second day of my
iOurney | looked out upOn graves and
collins. They clustered under the hills;
they lay on the waters edge; they had
been carefully placed under the lee of
houses; they occupied all the best parts
OF every field. Deceased Cinnamon
surrounded me everywhere. How far
the distribution of graves all over a
country in which the principal religion
OF the inhabitants is the worship of an
cestors may delay railway construction
even for strategical purposes I leave
others to decide. But l learn that cof-
fins can be bought as they stand fer =
consideration. I did not buy a coffin
by way of experiment, but I know .
man who had done so, and he estimated
the cost at two dollars per deceased al.
cestor. So that it is possible the diff
Guilty which is said to surround the MAX
ing of railroads in China may some day
Misrepresentation. L0ndon Telegraph
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1883-10-27
Varieties of Starch.

The starch of every plant differs
from its neigh5ors both in size and
shape, and this has a considerable in
fuence on the character of the vegeta.
BILE organ in which it is stored up; the
hardness of rice, for instance, being
due to the fact that rice-granules are
extremely minute, with angular or
ners which fit closely and firmly to-
gether; whereas potato starch is large
and round, with considerable inter
spaces filled with water, and so forms a
comparatively soft mass. But, not
outstanding their outward points OF
difference, IN chemical composition tbs
starches are all identical, CONSISTING Of
carbon, hydrogen and oxygen-exactly
the same materials as sugar is com.
posed of, and better known as the
component elements of coal and
water.-Popular Science Monthly
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1883-10-27
The Crocodile.

Half the c%rocodile's terrors lie in its
mystery. To see one floating in a
stream, all its length disclosed, would
no doubt be dreadful enough, but there
is a refinement of horror in the real
attitude of the reptile. For all that is
seen of the brute above the water are
the eyes, and, some distance from them,
the nostrils, and by the space which
separates the eyes from the nostrils o
gauge the total length of the sub
merged crocodile. Again, when rush
ing upon its prey, it would doubtless be
aparalyzing sight if the cruel..amphibian
came along the surface, with all its
armament of teeth displayed, crashing
his jaws and lashing it's tail. But
conceive the horror of the victim when
it sees upon the surface only the ripple
of the advancing but unseen monster.
Its fate is just as certain as if the thing
came on, like Andromeda's enemy, in
full view, but there is the awful horror
added Of an invisible approach. There
is q wavelet on the water nothing
more; but it is the sign that a crocodile
is advancing swiftly. And it was this
mystery that attracted the priests of
the Pharohs to the brute. Like evil, it
always came out from darkness; like
the hand of fate, it was unseen but
inevitable. So in Theba and Upper
Egypt, the hideous, h~alf-revealed
monsters of the Nile were held in rev.
erenc as typifying the powers of dark
ness and ~irrevocable catastrophe; and
the priests, tanning the largest of the
kind they could find by perpetual de-
bauches of food, adorned them with
Jewels, pieaing the ear membranes so
as to hold rings, and putting bracelets
upon their feet, and, thus begemmed,
brought them up from out the reeds
and %obscurities of the sacred river, and
showed them to the people as the en-
blem of fate, terrible, pitiless and in
comprehensive.
In the natural history of the croco-
die there are some points of singular
interest, which it would not be uninter-
esting to have illustrated at the Zoo.
thus. tor instance, a crocodile's egg
would be a surprise to all who saw it
for the first time, inasmuch as the rep
tile which grows to thirty feet in
length and is armed in maturity with
such ponderous scales, begins life in a
soft-shelled egg, rather smaller than
that of a goose. Again, a young croco-
ollie preserved in a bottle Of spirits, say
five inches long, would be a memorable
illustration Of the origin of the levia-
than that, later on. '.laughs at the
shaking Of a spear" Indeed, all the
crocod. les troubles are crowded to-
gether at the commencement OF it's pill
grimhge through LIE. BY and by it has
no enemies that it need fear, and is tie
unquest:oned Autocrat OF All the
i,usAes. But at first there is nothing
tllat moves, be it fish, flesh, or fowl, Of
which the tiny crocodile is not
& raid. As if conscious of the future
power of the Insignificant lizard, every
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1883-10-27

The affections are like lightning.
! you can not tell where they will strike
till they have fallen.-Chicago Journal.
Official reports state that the Brit
ish census embraces $4,000, 900 women.
Who wouldn't be q census.-Calcaoo
Tribune.
-" Is that gentleman a friend of
yours asked a newly-introduced lady
of another at a reception. ''Oh, no, he's
my husband,' was the innocent reply.
Merchant Traveller.
-"Misfortunes never come singlv."
They couldn't. It would be singular if
they could. One misfortune might, but
Lindley Murray forbids the plural num-
Der from acting that way.-Golden
Days.
So many people are dying in all
parts OF the country just now. at the
advanced age OF 105 years, that a man
under eighty-fve feels kind of bashful
about going into a barber shop.-Bur-
lingto~ Haukeye.
-Longfellow said: elm this world a
man must be either anvil or hammer"
Longfellow was wrong, however. Lots
of men are neither the active hammer
nor the sturdy anvil. They are nothing
but bellows. Post.
OF the rich newspaper men James
Gordon Bennett runs two yachts and
four-in-hands; Robert Bonner is the
owner of n hundred and seventy
horses; Charles A. Dana keeps a Pull
man parlor-car, while we are putting in
a foundation for a barn.-Marlboro'
Timer.
1t was a happy thought on the part
of our Government to purchase the yell
lowstone country and convert it into a
national park. 1t belongs to all the
people of the United States, the DOOR as
we'll as the rich, and all it costs for q
man living inside of civilization to 90
there and return is a thousand dollars
or two-and perhaps his scalp.-Norrts-
tom Herald.
-"James!' he began. as he called
the clerk into the private office, s'your
conduct is such that I can no longer re-
tain you in my employ. You do not
hesitate to lie and cheat, and o are
drunk at least twice a~week." Cali
right" responded the clerk. II got
news yesterday of a legacy of $75, 900,
and [ guess l wont go to the poor
house." "Seventy-five thousand dol
lars!' ITO a cent" 'Cash moneys
"All cash." ''Then I'll sell you a part
nership interest in the business, and
we'll make things hum! Ha! Let me
congratulate you! Just such a partner
as Id pick among a thousand!"-W Wal
Street News.
lis this train to stop at Neponsetp''
q passenger asked a conductor of the
Old Colony Road the other forenoon.
mo, sir" was the reply; mo stops be.
tween South Braintree and Boston,
"Why how's that..' said the surprised
inquirer; ''you used to stop there; you
did the last time ! came up" The con.
ductor was puzzled. "Guess YOU are
wrong" he said, ''but when was that
timep' "Well," replied his passenger,
II can't say exactly" And after a mo:
ment's thought, he continued: sit was
when l built my barn-some time dur.
ing the a boston TRANSCRIPT.