The Ottawa free trader., 1883-07-28

his nose.
1t is at the quitting bee where you hear
the most singing remarks.
A cook-stove may be converted into a
base. burner by sitting on it while 1t is hot.
At a fire in clothing store the other day
the only pants saved were the occupants.
Adam was not polygamist, although in
his day he married all the women IN the
world.
When politician decides that he will
sell his influence, he suddenly finds out
that he has nothing Of the kind to SELL
There's been considerable talk lately
about royalty on barbed wire" All We
can say is that royalty must feel mighty
uncomfortable.
A health journal says that you ought to
take three quarters of an hour ior dinner.
1t is we'll also TO add Il few vegetables and
a piece of Neat
1t takes good deal OF courage to write
out; Gone down into the country to
sponge off my fa,her.in.law BE away all
summer
This is worthy Of study tor the remarka
bic rhyme:
"The Widow Butler, Of Massachusetts,,
Or spoons, It's said, amassed few sets"
John Bright, the inventor of celcbra-
ted disease of the kidneys," Is the way an
Omaha paper alIudes to the English
states man.
An Oil City choir at rehearsal SATURDAY.
night ran over the "Hallelujah Chorus"
The music escaped uninjured.- city
Uclric&.
In anger flew her agile jaws,
And swear words darted from her tongue
The maid was lighting mad because
She couldn't make her bangs stay bung.
--B'NHGlck Trii,me.
Did you ever think what you would do
If you had Vanderbllt's income ?-NorriS-
ty,ca Register. Well no; but we have
often wondered what Vanderbilt would do
Z he had ours.
\ Chicago doctor advertised: Don't
mistake dropsy for consumption" That's
right, this constant mistaking delirum
rrtmens for malaria is bad enOugh.-B0S- To-
tan Post.
4 man named Gasbil recently applied
to the Arkansas Legislature to change his
name, because his girl always objected to
his figure whenever he'd meter She said
he was too high, and turned HIM off.
4 fair and accomplished young Or.
Fell in love with lady named Pr,
But his terms scientific
Game forth so terrific
That they really and truly quite shr.
Lowell citizen: Judge Ritchie, of Fred.
crick, Md, has sixteen beautiful and a..
complished daughters, only one of whom
is married. This is what the French
would call an embarrassment of Rrtchies
a south end man says his wlfe's conver
satlon is perfect wonder. Maybe he
means by this that It is brilliant and wit
ty, but somehow, IN this connection, 1t is
difficult to avoid recalling the saying that
wonders will never cease B0St0h Post.
The world Is indebted to The Norrtst0ocn
HNUld for this beautiful creation:
Here
hang my bangs,
DER eyes that dream,
and nose and rose
bud lips for cream.
And here's uy
chin with din
pies in.
This is my
neck, with
out speCk,
which doth those snowy shoulders
deck; and here is--see, oh,
double TON, which girls
wear like me; and here's
heartfrom cupid's dart safe
shielded by this cOrset's art.
This is my waist OotITAt-
~ laced, on which
hustle biz
is placed.
This is my
dress. Its cost
| guess, did my
poor papa much dis
tress, because he sighed
when mamma tried iton,
and sobbed, 60 | cried, but
mamma said soon would wed
and buy pas clothes for him in
stead, It's trimmed with lace Just
in this place, meath which two ankles
show with grace, in silken hose to
catch the beaus who think they're lO'ely,
! suppose. These are
my re ct, in slippers
neat and now If we
should chance 10 meet Wen flirt
little on the street. How sweet.
MONROE, MICH., Sept. %, 1875.
SIRs-I have been taking Hop Bitters for
Inflammation Of kidneys and bladder. II has
done for me what four doctors failed to do.
The effect Of Hop Btters seemed like magic
TO me. ". L. CARTER
A Philadelphia girl complains that she
got into such a chill while ont sleighlng