New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-07-25

SA.SAA sA1S AAAS0uS VAC ACSO VIC
NAY, Dark a. Knight, nay. though here my boat
ask'd thee not abroad" .urhou rowest
Who ships the devil is not always lost,
but lost ts he who rows him home to He'll
The Ath@enaum
MRS. JONES' PARTY.
BY HELEN FORREST GRAVES.
Dear me- said Mrs. Heatherley,
''some folks do have all the luck!
thought when my Cousin Speakwell was
appointed Assistant Bishop of the Gran
berry Swamp Diocese, that it was quite
q social distinction. But here's Helen
Jones uncle been put up for Chinese
Ambassador! And suppose she'll get
all her tea and chessmen for nothing
now, beside the credit of the thing!''
And Mrs. Heatherley actually burst
into tears.
From the very first moment of her ar
rival in Cherry Hill, Mrs. Jones had
been her rival. If she decorated her
parlors in lotnS-leaYeS and Gat-tails,
Mrs. Jones Immediately ordered an art
list from PhiladelphiA Is paint her eeil-
ings in peacock-plumes and half-opep
sunflOwer- buds. Hshe gave light tea,
Mrs. Jones followed with fulfilled ged
dinner-party. If she had fancy mas
querade-party, Mrs. Jones issued cards
for private theatricals. And now the
glories of the assistant bishopric were en-
tirely eclipsed by the ambassador to
China.
Mrs. Jones ordered her white ponies
and basket-phaeton, and drove in state
through Cherry Hill, to invite all her
friends and acquaintance to an evening
reception. :
"To meet my uncle,'' she said, gra-
ciously, "before he sails for China!"
For Mrs. Jones, albeit she never had
seen her Uncle John Jones, was seized
all of sudden, with the most affection
ate devotion to him, and photographed
him to come at once to Cherry Hill.
And the letter which followed was full
of niece-like devotion.
II have always felt" she said, that it was a
cruel deprivation to me to see so little Of my
husbands relations. And now that we are SO
soon to lose you, must insist on at least one
visit We have some charming people in
Cherry Hill. who would esteem it a privilege to
make your acquaintance. We shall meet you,
fa a. the train from Phila
MIR. Jones, q blunt, bullet-headed
man, who was in the drug business,
scratched his nose when he heard of his
wife's prowess.
.It's all a puzzle to me-" said he.-
'Uncle John never had any brains.''
''Dear metz said Mrs. Jones, sswhat
brains are needed to be Chinese Am
bassadorp It's all political influence and
wire-pulling, don't you see7"
.'Well," said Mr.. Jones, .'there'a
something in that. remember Uncle
John being president Of q Polk and Dali
las Club, forty years ago or so, in the
village. And he manufactured torch.
lights for the political professions, and
had very good voice for hurrah.-
What puzzles me, however, is what on
earth he will think of our getting Sc
very affectionate all of a sudden, after
neglecting him for all these years. >
mo matter what he Thinks said
Mrs. Jones, briskly. ''I'll soon bring
him around. Only think-Ambassadol
to China! What will Mrs. Heatherley
say? You must send up dozen of cham.
payne, Peter, and telegraph at once fol
pases de foie gras and Cold, potted game.
And I'll have the two colored waters
from the hotel. Mary Ann is very well
in her way, but she will need addition
al help on an occasion like this. Ishall
ask Ex-Governor Philipstarbaugh and
his wife they are visiting the Whites;
and an especial card shall be sent to
that stupid, old Assistant Bishop that
Charlotte Heatherley boasts SO much
about, and shall beg Miss Buckley to
bring her violin and give us one ofthose
sweet Scandinavian Dreams that she
improvises SO sweetly. Let me see,
there will be about sixty people here,
unless receive more regrets than at
present anticipate.
.'Sixty people, eh?'' repeated Mr..
Jones. ..Ain't that considerable Of q
blowout, Fanny? We haven't settled
Spagnette's bill for that last tea-fght,
you must remember"
..Tea-fght! Blow-out!'' Mrs. Jones
repeated, in infinite disgust. peter,
haven't any patience to hear you use
those Odious, vulgar expressions. How
are Ethel and Constantia to get married
I'd like to know, If the dear girls never
are to see any society? Are the ponies
readyp'
..You can't have the ponies to-day, =
said Mr.. Jones. The livery stable
man says they don't stir out Of their
stalls until the whole account is settled
three hundred and odd dollars. .
How absurd Of him. said Mrs.
Jones, with q shrug Of her plump
shoulders. '.And now, of all times in
the world! But never mind-I shall
walk!' '
And Mrs. Jones, nothing daunted, put
on . rosebud trimmed bonnet, q pretty
imitation cashmere shawl, and pair
Of cream-colored kid gloves, and SET
forth to the florists, where she ordered
q profusion Of flowers; and to the pastry.
cooks, where she hesitated between
Roman punch, water ices, and Neapoli-
tan cream; and finally went home,
Wearied, but triumphant.
II show the Chinese Ambassador
that there is some style about his coun.
try cousins, !" she declared, to Ethel and
Constantia, who were emodeling Their
old dresses, to appear as new as posi-.
bic. -5t
And really Mrs. Jones' parlors did
appear exquisitely tasteful and pretty
when the eventful evening arrived.
The ndeliers new for the occ..