The Labor enquirer., 1883-04-07

my chum went and headed pa off, or I
guess he would be running yet. We got
him up by the lake shore, and he want
ed to know if the house fell down. He
said he would leave it to me if he ever
said anything against the Fenians and I
told him he had always claimed that the
Fenians were the incest men in the
world, and it seemed to relieve him very
much When he got home and found
the house there he was tickled, and
when ma called him an old bald-headed
coward, and said it was only joke Of
the boys with the foot ball, he laughed
right out and said he knew it all the
time, and he ran to see if ma would be
scared. And then he wanted to hug me,
but it wasn't my night to hugand | went
down to the theater. Pa don't amount
to- much when there is trouble. The
time ma had them cramps, you remem-
Der, when you got your CuCumbers first
last season, pa came near fainting away,
and ma said ever since they had been
married, when anything allied her pa
has had pains just the same as she has,
only he grunted more and thought he
was going to die. Gosh, if I was a man
I wouldn't be sick every time one of
the neighborS had a tOothache, would
you?"
well, you can't tell. When you have
been married twenty or thirty years you
will know a good deal more than you do
now. You think you know it all now,
and you are pretty intelligent for boy
that has been brought up carele8sIY; but
there are things that you will learn after
awhile that will astonish you. But what
ails your pas teeth? The hired girl was
over here to get some corn meal for
Cruel, and she said your pa was glbnming
it since he lost his teeth"
"Oh, about the teeth. That was too
bad. You see, my chum has got a dog
that is old, and his teeth have all come
out in front, and yesterday morning I
borried pas teeth before he got up, to
see if We couldn't fix them in the dogs
mouth so he could eat better. Pa. says
it is an evidence Of kind heart for a
boy to be good to dumb animals, but it's
a darn mean dog that will 60 back on a
friend. We tied the teeth in the dogs
mouth with string that went around
his upper jaw, and another around the
under jaw, and you'd a died to see how
funny he looked when he Iafed He
looked just like pa when he tries to smile
50 as to get me to come up to him so he
can lick me. The dog paved his mouth
a spell so as to get the teeth out, and
then We gave him a bone with some
meat on, and he began to gnaw the bone,
and the teeth come off the plate, and he
thought 1t was pieces Of the bone, and
he swallowed the teeth. My chum no
ticed it first, and he said we had got to
get in our work in a hurry to save the
plates, and tell you we were in luck to
save them. held the dog, and my
chum, who was better acquainted with
him, united the strings and got the gold
plates out, but there were only two teeth
left and the dog was happy He wag-
gIed his tail for more teeth, but we
hadn't any more. y am going to give
him ma teeth some day. My chum saws
when dog gets an appetite for anything
YOU have got to keep giving it to him, or
be goes back on you. But think my
'hum played dirt on me We sold the
gold plates to jeweIry man, and my
,hum kept the money. think, as long
as | furnished the goods, my chum ought
to have given me something besides the
experience, don't you? After this don't
have no more partners, you bet All
this time the boy was marking on
piece Of paper, and soon after he went
out the groceryman noticed a crowd out
side, and on going out he found sign
hanging up which read "Wormy Figs
for Parties. -Peck's sun.
Mtntonatres and Paupers.
Statistics show us that there is not
enough produced of the good things of