Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1883-08-16
HOW a LAWYER LOST A FEE.
Knoxville Chronicle.

|
A lawyer Of Knoxville recently re>
ceived the following letter:
DEAR CoL0NEL--After my best
regards to you, | want to know il
there is any law on earth, in heaven or
in -, TO punish cowardly rascal
! that has no fence ct all for shooting
one of the best mich. COWS that ever
was. -..-.------.----------..-
! Ny wife is ravipg mad, my children
are ell crying, and / am 80 everlast-
ingly red hot that l don't know
whether to take my shotgun and 20
over and shoot his old jaoksss, or get
out States warrant and have him
hung or sent to the penitentiary for
life.
l want all the law that can be found,
civil and criminal, State and Federal,
let loose upon him with all the power
Of thousand first class red hot thun-
derbolts--snd that at once; and |
don't want his punishment on earth to
end until his punishment elsewhere
is ready to begin, the devil bless him.
Please sit right down and tell me
what to do. / will pay you the biggest
sort Of a tee. Yours truly,
ROBERT HAIRTRIGGER
P, S. The COW is not dead, but don't
eat very heartily. This may be, though,
because our roughness is very mouldy.
| send you one dollar to show you that
you will be we'll paid, | want salts.
faction, and must have it, cost what
it will.
p. S. No. 2. Since writing the fore
going my son tells me that my neigh.
Dor has killed his old jackass, too.
Cant | law him for that? The jack
ass was the best man Of the two III
pay you to law him for killing his
jackass. My son also says that he
cannot see any shot-marks on our COW;
but | heard him shoot myself, and saw
my COW coming from that diroc-
ton.
P.S. No. 3. Our neighbor has lust
dropped in and says he did not shoot
my COW, but only shot his old jackass
because he was worthless and he could
not afford to feed him any longer, and
didn't like to see him starve to death.
Neighbor is very smooth tongued
man, and has made my wife believe he
didn't shoot our COW.
p. s. No a. Wife has Just given our
COW some sheaf oats and corn, and she
eats very heartily. Wife says she
hasn't been shot at all. Irather ex
pect have been mistaken, and SO 1
will not send that dollar bill; you can
prosecute him for killing his iaeksss,
if you wish. / am too poor, though,
to pay you anything for that.
If have any more business | will
be sure to put it in your hands.
Your friend,
ROBERT HAIRTRIeaER.
P. s, again. If you prosecute for
killing his jackass don't let him know
that ever said anything to you about
it. He has invited us all to eat dinner
with him next Sunday. He isn't a
bad man; but Oughtn't to have killed
SuaV JaOAaooi uOu Luluh. 1u6 JACK
ass, however, was very old, and lazier
than old, and prayed as though he had
an awful cold.
z. s., once more: ~
Perhaps it would be just as we'll to
drop the jackass matter, as my boy is
counting his gal, and he is mighty we'll
of. The jaekass had broken leg too,
caused by a kick from one OF my horses
who got over into his field.
/ don't know, too, but what | ought
to tell you that the reason the fence
was down was because he was resetting
it.
P. s., lastly:
My wife says she is just as much
obliged to you as if you had lawed for
US. So good bye. Your friend,
r. HAIRTRIGGER.
Honor ia the reward of virtue nhu