Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-02-16
FUN AND FANCY.


i,...., III. family COW. and would do il
u-s..in If necessary. Bat let noyoul.g
Wi;r think the was what gave her
..cr lrauty. 1t WAS getting up bright
and early on i'racinS winter morn
im.s To start til" fires.
\ Grand Army of the Republic
PLAY. called True B!;lr," has been
brought ont in th,. oil regions "f Penn
.ylvania Speaking of the truthful
n,.,- IF this war drama, the Bradford
Mars SAYS: But more realistic. if
l,u..ihlr. j. the death of the picket,
Shot down 10y an unseen foe. the
sword co,nbat between the two Car
ringtun brothers. and the battle
scene. which Is presented with such
fidelity that old soldiers in the audi
ence have often been SO completely
| carried away as to rush upon the
stage and join the fray. while the
tableaux which close almost every
scene are not only strikingly life like,
but beautiful in the extreme" A
play where an audience joins in the
battle scene is a good one to keep
away from. by the way. in case a
| quiet evening Is desired.
1t is estimated that in England 10, =
600 women and girls chew gum. The
ties between that country and Amer
lea are growing stronger every year
by gum.
A fashion item states that ladies'
are wearing V shaped bodices, and
an old, married man is OF the opinion
that "a Vshaped bodice spoils an
y shaped note"
The current craze for the antique
does not extend so far as to make
boarders appreciate the average
spring chicken,
Why is man ringing n bell for an
auction like church sociable! One
makes noise to get money and the
other makes All oyster get money.
Has a clergyman's wife n moral
right to kiss tho male members of
her husbands congregation? Only
III retaliation, as it We're. Hope the
meaning is apparent.
A young lady, writing love letter
for the kitchen maid: That's about
enough, now. isn't it?" Kitchen maid
Zone thing more, miss; just say
please excuse bad spellin' and
writin'"
| Concerning the Alabama girls.
whose custom it is to have the initials
of their sweeheart's name tattooed
in monographs on the palm of their
left hands the nearest the heart. it
is suggested by the Philadelphia
NeuS that their mothers should tat
too them with the palms OF their
hands elsewhere. That would beat
the tattoo" all hollow.
when an editor makes a mistake
in his paper, all the world sees it. and
calls him liar When a private citi
zen makes mistake, nobody knows
it except a few friends, and they
come around and ask the editor to
keep it out of the paper. When the
private citizen dies, the editor is
asked to write of all his good quail
ties and leave out the bad. When
the editor dies. the private citizen
says: Now that old liar will get his
deserts"
1t is nice enough to serenade and
sing: Come with the lark; come
with the lay" but the hen that comes
up promptly with the lay takes the
cake.
A western editor tells what he
would do if he We're a jackass. He'd
probably follow Mrs. Langtry about" y
One OF the saddest moments in life
is when a man is looking through an
old vest and thinks he has found q
ten-cent piece. which when brought
to light, turns out to be cough
lozenge.
An intelligent farmer being asked
if his horses We're well matched, re-
piled: Yes: they are matched first
rate; one of them is willing to do all
the work, and the other is willing that
he should"
The verdict of the Coroner's Jury
at Tunbridge Wells on the death oil
a child was: The child was suffo
Gated, but there is no evidence tc
show that the suffocation was before
or after death.
Scene Pretty clachan in Stirling
shire in which two churches. Free
and Established, glare at one another
from opposite sides of the way
Tourist Ito native) surely your PEG
pie must be very religious. Why
small as the village is, You have Il
pair of churches. Native-'Deed
mon, they're no sac godly as ye wud
think. It's mair spite than religion.
" II you would be truly happy, my
DEAR" said one New York lady to an
other. you will have neither eyes nor
ears when your husband comes home
late from the club" Yes 1 know
answered the other, YEARLY, "but
what am to do with nay nose!'
1t is said that kissing cures freckles
but every red headed girl in the
country knows better.
Yes" said the prominent man of
the village. :" l shall give $1,000 to-
ward a new church Interested in
the cause of religion! Oh, yes; and
l hate the sniveling hypocrite that
breaches at the old church, and mean
to run an opposition to him that'll
leave him without congregational
The following true story Just
reaches us: A Jamaica Plain Repub-
lican told his wife few days before
election that if Massachusetts went
Democratic he should leave the
State; and added that he meant it,
too. Upon waking the morning after
election he remarked that his olfac
tories were not greeted with the
usual odors from the kitchen, and
going to the door, he called his wife
to inquire the cause, noting, at the
same time, that preparations to move
were apparently going on down
stairs. She informed him quietly
that tho State had gono Democratic,
and he called Sayauelv for n napor