Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1883-09-01
dyke, futtering after him. "say, dear,
m stand on the shore and watch you

dyke, nutterlng alter MN. Say, 2eaI,
I'll stand on the shore and watch you
sail the thing,
"You won't do anything of the kind"
retorted MI. Spoopendyke. 81 bought
that boat for your pleasure as much as
mine, and you're going to sail in it.
When l want you to stand on the shore
and watch anything, I'll hire a man to
drown himself. Now look at that boat.
Isn't she a daisy? See how she sets on
the water"
.'What are all those clothes lines
hanging down from that stick for?"
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, surveying the
yacht critically.
ITO play Copenhagen with" roared
MI. Spoopendyke, who was not at all
anxious to be examined on the technical
points of his new acquisition. "You
take hold of those ropes, and l slap
your hands, and then we kiss. See into
it now? Does the art of navigation be-
gin to appeal to your understanding?
Now, you get in and I'll make sail;''
and Mr.. Spoopendvke handed his wife
into the cockpit and began to tug away
at his halliards.
"Why didn't you have a sail made
when the boat was builtp" inquired Mrs.
Spoopendyke, by way of encouraging
her husbands labors with pleasant con-
versation.
Because the man vas SICK" snarled
Mr.. Spoopendyke, glancing at the head
of the mast to see what was wrong.
.sCome up here, will ye?:"he grunted. as
he grabbed the halliards again. ..There,
confound We! l knew I'd fetch yet"
and he walked aft to examine the trim
of his mainsail. GLOW does that set?"
''It seems to be a little full in the
back BREADTH" commented Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, holding on to the coaming with
both hands. IF you cut a gore near
that top stick it would be straighter."
"I.suppose so,'' mutterei Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, giving another haul at his peak
halliards. elf | put a. hustle on it, I
imagine it would take the wrinkles out.
Now, I'll get up that jib, and mind,
don't you touch anything"
Mr.. ~Spoopendyke set his lib and
pushed off. AS his sail filled, the boat
heeled over, to the manifest consterna-
ton of Mrs. ~Spoopendyke.
"What makes the thing tip SOP" she
asked, scrambling up to windward, and
grasping MI. S~poopendyke by the
collar.
"Let down the center-board!' yelled
Mr.. spoopendyke, suddenly remember
ing the instructions he had received
when he bought the boat. '.Let go that
center-board, quick!"
81 haven't got it!" squealed Mrs.
Spoopendyke. "Ihaven't seer it! We
must have left it ashore! Oh, my!"
The last exclamation was addressed
to a half-hundred weight of water slop-
ping over the lee coaming.
'Haul away on that lib Sheet"
roared Mr.. 81 oopendyke, who found
he was going ashore on the other bank
of the river. sPull her in as quick as
we can! Let go of that!" he continued,
as he saw his wife clutching convul-
sively at the peak ballard cleat. "Let
go the measly thing, will We, and haul
the lib sheet!'
.'Is this itP" gasped Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, casting the throat ballard loose,
cor this?" and she let go the peak hal
lard, dropping the boom on MI. Spoop-
endyke's head and burying him under
the mainsail. perhaps this is what he
MEANS" she soliloquized, as she hit on
the job ballard, and let it go by the
run. CHOW we are sailing better,
dear. If it hadn't been for me we would
have tipped overt"
"That's it," yelled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, struggling out from under the
canvas. "fhat's navigation! You
struck it from the shoulder first clip!
All you want 10Y is a quid of tobacco
and a hitch to your breaches to be a
Cunard steamer! Got through? Any
thing else you want to do to this measly
boat! If you had a compass in your ear
and a deck load of idiots, you'd only
need a Custom-house Inspector and a
He'll Gate pilot to be a floating lunatic
asylum!' and MI. Spoopendyke hailed
a passing row-boat and was towed
ashore ANONYMOUSLY.
81 don't care" muttered Mrs. Spoon
endyke, as she scrambled up the dock
and followed her lord to the hotel. II
don't NE I may not know as much
about a boat as he does, but if it hadn't
been for me he would have been
drowned like the dogs in August. An
other time we go sailing, we'll bring
the boat to our room and wrap the lib
sheet around us, unless it is too hot, and
in that case, We'll sell the boat and buv
fans"
And Mrs. S~poopendyke toiled up the
steps of the porch to tell the ladies what
a delightful sail she had enioyed and
how much MI. S~poopendyke knew