The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-08-07
The Daily Bulletin.
WIT AND HUM0R.


1t thinks they do.
American pork can not 60 into Ger
many, for Bismarck still keeps up his
"watch on the rind.
Some men vas always like der key
hole on der back Of a clock-dhey vast |
behind time, cart PretzcL
Out of sight, out Of mind, as the dis
tressed wife remarked when she sawhe
husband coming home from night out
with the boys.
Now that black stockings for females
are in fashion, married men find 1t diff
cult to keep filled the inkstands they
have at home,
A good many Of the idiots who go up
10 the clouds in hOt-air balloons are be-
ing killed Off this year, BalIooning has
its good points
"What is true bravery asks New
York paper It's going to sleep while
your wife sits up in bed to listen for
burglars.
Paradoxical az, it may seem, mar
ried man in the theatrical world often
is compelled to support another man 5
wife.
A gentleman with an eruption OF the
scalp acknowledges with sorrow that
there is indeed plenty Of rheum at the
top.
An impccunious individual remarks
that life was the same 10 him At school
as it is now. He was strapped then and
he has been strapped ever since.
"He who helps himself helps others, "
as Fogg remarked a, be transferred the
remaining bi,cui, 10 his own plate The
"others' couldn't see it in the same
light a fogg did.
Notice on Hobokcn ferry boat; The
seats in this cabin are reserved for la
dies Gentlemen are requested not 10
occupy them until the ladies' are seat
ed
What kind Of fruit j, that over
thcrc?' asked man ~ he saw crowd
Of bows planting dead canine
Nothing but jog-bury, was the re-
ply.
A bow who buried hi, Billy goat the
other day put this Inscription on the
headstouc for be thinks II VIII attract
thousands Of people next spring; Buck
beer
An exchange SAYS: Mr. John Il.
Cough is suffering from a humor which
has affected h.3 hand, 50 that he cannot
use pen. Eli rrrain, ought TO nave
this sort Of humor
"My dear, said a fond wife, "wheu
we we're engaged ! AWAY, slept with
your last letter under my pillow. w.
"And |, murmurrd her husband, 81
often went to sleep over your dear let
tiers,
Rural Scenery Gent from city Blu
where the deuce IL the scenery? " ma
In thunder Is there to look at? farmc
Indignantly. "Why, the new barn o.
What more DO you want for - week
It's perfect beauty.
oCan the Old Loye2' T., the title OF
novel. That's generally the way OF II
They can the old love rs soon as 1t be
comes the least bit Old and put il ava
to keep. while something atriile trc,he
il brought out for daily USE.
"Wherc ia the girl Of long ago.? SIM
Joaouin Miller. We saw her the othc
day JOAQUIN. But she isn't a gll
nny more. She had gray hair and
wart ON her nose, had no teeth and wor
specs.
Ne VIII. s,otos that motber,.in.la,
orc NOT launched at or looked down o
in Persia: their presence is coveted b
their sons.in.luw, who look on thel
a. the Guardian, Of the virtue of the
wives.
NIL man. cor, brokc down ,
, Ne ' ,.n;, ''| 49, wei',b ,ae co,l "Yc
n Wv TaI tn". ,o vri%h that coal" sal
the man who had purchased it. "ItIt'
heavy enough to break down the cart
wejabs moro than any ton of coal eve
Cot before I'm satisfied"
.1,hol..,l;rl. !. brolon" the fcllo,
ali Nv ,,b ,",' w. ,,' li..nj hi. Girl cood.b
salo' M"o.' w $50, ",S, W. Lononso Ie,.n,
ioi'',t'H ~ ,o .iisI,I,,t,, 4 f,w j,,
o os.a. y, rooo;yad . roto SAVING, "Da,
Coorgo ,borc grc plenty more link
come and break them"
- - ,,.,n.. p,..,r,,.r
IN llip G''a eau. ,I'y ,.,...,, 80, ,,in(or