The Portland daily press., 1883-05-22
The Lies Told TO Children,


AexlaiA Dumas is coming out
in the character of censor .noran,
and the theme chosen in the pa
per which he has contributed to the perl
odical rejoicing in the title of Noaceaa Ne.
is the familiar one of the neglect shown by
parents in the training of their children, es-
pecially in very early years. The grand Of
Tense of parents lies in shirking the difficult
ties presented by the curiosity of children.
The first beginnings of their inquisitiyeness
are to be seen, according to M. Dumas, in
actions not generally attributed to any such
cause. ''When you see child spoil and de-
stroy Immediately and deliberately the play
things that have been given to it, pull off the
petals of the flowers it has gathered, and ey-
en- the wings of insects which II has caught,
you say: Children are destructive; child
hood is merciless.' 1t is a mistake. The
child is not destructive; it is not cruel. 1t is
curious. 1t does not want to destroy, it
wants to know" But with the very first ap-
pearance of this desire for knowledge, with
the first utterance of the often embarrassing
but inexorcisable questions show?' and
swhy?' the ravestresponsiblities fall upon
the parent, and these responsibilities he
either shirks or seeks to delegate to Others.
NJ. Dumas description of the latter process
is very forcible. The mother, who has mar
ried, not knowing why, and brought forth a
child not knowing how, makes haste to hand
over the care of it to others. The wet-nurse
and nurse to provide for the body; the
bonne, and the governess and the convent,
or, in the case of boys, the tutor and the
school to train the mind; the minister, the
priest or the rabbi to look after the soul
each teaching something which the other
calls false, and all equally condemned by ma
ture, history, and science--these are all in
stances OF that delegation of parental duty
against which NJ. Dumas inveighs. ssAnd
all this because the man and woman want to
have all the pleasures, all the rights, all the
recompenses, OF paternity and maternity,
while transferring as far as ever they can its
duties and responsibilities to Others" As
the children grow up the delegation TO par
entail duties is followed, in the case of the
boys, at least, by their absolute neglect.
The young mans desire to know the world
is allowed to lead him into all sorts of exces-
ses, at which the parents wink. "Ill faut
Quejeanesse Sc pdsse,n and it is only when
the yigor aud the freshness of youth have
both passed away that the parents intervene
they may enjoy the luxury of being sur
rounded with grandchildren.
As for the girl, she is kept as carefully
away from all experience as the young man
is recklessly exposed TO all, and is allowed to
grow up amid her dreams and those of her
equally ignorant companions, s'until one day
she meets or is made to meet, q man. more
or less young, more or less intelligent, more
or less rich, more or less disillusioned, whose
nI.o
and health are all imperfectly known, and
whom she marries, because she is of the age
to marry" If, after this highly intelligent
preparation of the young man or woman to
meet the difficulties and temptations of life.
these difficulties and temptations prove too
much for them, there is a great cry of in
jured surprise. 'sHow does this come about?
/ have given him, or her, so much The
child was well suckled by the nurse, we'll
cared for by servants, well taught BY mas
ters, well grounded in morality by the priest
| cannot understand it at ALL
The difficulty remains that, as has been
well said, the stuPidest child can ask more
questions in five minutes than the wisest
man can answer in lifetime. The lesson
of life, If II has a lesson, cannot be impaired
Each human being must learn it by his own
experience. The problem in every case is
how to give the child provisional code to
guide it while The experience is being gained
and to save it from losing all that makes
life worth having in the process of learning
to live. And to the solution of that prob
lem NJ. Dumas contributes very little. But
there is ore point on which he dwells which
moralists do well to insist upon. 1t is the
Nervousness of time honored practice Of ly-
ing to children. That practice has, indeed,
as we all know, the highest philosophic au-
thority. But the lies that Plato recommend
ed were intended to embody the truth. The
lies that most men tell to escape the per-
plexity occasioned by children's questions
are lies that not only do not embody The
truth, but render true and healthg attitude
of mind on certain subjects forever im1ossi
Bile. We are not now speaking of disputei
questions OF truth, but of plain physical
facts, of the habit OF exciting an unnatural
curiosity in children by evading their natur-
al questions, OF investing with halo Of un.
wholesome mystery matters that both can
and ought to be kept il the clear daylight OF
science. The excuse for such lying always
is that the children are not old enough tc
understand. But, says M. Dumas, and he
says well, "Lerydnt O toaj0urs Fage deS
questions gull fdit." ''There may" he con
times, "be children who, owing to physical
causes, are imbecile. But there is no such
thing as stupid child. A child may have
hAoic VI lcco p4OL1pt lutculSSHcc. IL may
develop special aptitudes or antipathies.
But you will never hear it say silly thing
tdtre une betise) as long as you have not de-
ceived it, as long as you have not told a lie.'
There can be no doubt that of all the hum
bug practiced in the world there is none
which on the whole is attended with more
ruinous consequences than the deceptions to
which parents constantly have recourse, and
that with perfectly easy conscience, to
evade the troublesome curiosity of children.
Il am convinced, says N. Dumas, ''that the
| greatest revolutionaries in the world Of ideas,
those who have most Mortified mankind,
who have caused the shedding of the most
blood and tears, have been children to
whose first questions men have not replied
as they ought to have replied