The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-29
OLD JoHN..oF ARKANsAw.
topie P. Read, in Texas sif,ings.l

Opie P Read, in Texas SiftinEs.
 Old John Milgin, in his day, was prob ably of the best known eccentrics in state renowned for eccentricity. Arkan- saw is modestly suggested as this state. old John's chief delight was not shoot ing at his friends. although he did some times bring down stranger but he took great pleasure in stealing something oc- casionally. He took his thieving "spurts," as his neighbors said, by "fi fits" They were thought to be of miasmatic origin, for they always came in the spring and fall, when nearly all of the other inhabi- tan,s were down with the chills. Old John was a man of marked system, and so regular-that is, so seasonable he in hls " fits,r that as the time ap- preached, the neighbors hid their small articles. and kept a strict watch over traps" whose daily use prevented even a temporary retirement from household circulation. In the event great precau- ton had been taken, and Old John found himself beaten, he would step around his own premises, steal his own chickens, and sell them for ridiculously low price. After the fits were over, John was as honest as the average Arkansaw man was at that time supposed to be, which, though, close friendship with truth forces the admission that the standard of honesty in those days was not of the true and nspotted-from-the-world-kind.
 A, length the people in Old Johns county, feeling that some public and be- fitting recognition was due, sent the old fellow to the legislature. He became a jealous, hard-working member was all ways a, his post, and once gained the ad- miration of the quiet members by de claring that he could make the speaker eat d tallow candle.
 You kain', do il, indignantly ex- claimed the speaker.
 "Yas, ken do it. 1 ken do morn CT dat. ken preach the socks often the chaplin"
 "This here's edgin' up leetle too close" replied the chaplain. '.l, mout be easy matter ter make some folks eat taller candle, but it takes rip shorter ter preach the socks ofien me.
 Fl the house. Il let us have the floor for few minits. I'll show yer fur ten dollars" said old John. with impressive earnestness. The speaker declared his willingness. and stakeholder MS ap- pointed The money was put up, md old John arose to begin his discourse, when the chaplain said:
 "You say. yer air goin' to preach the socks often me
 That's what said"
 The house IS ter be de jury"
 Vas
 Wall. yer needn't begin
 Why, do yer gin up?"
 No. fur I've already beat yer"
 How does yer make dat calk'lation y
 Easy huff 1 ain't got on no socks.
 old John lost his money, and it hur, him so badly that he spoke of resigning and probably would have done so had he known how to proceed in the execution o, such design. After this he was quie and respectful.
 One tune he arose with the intention of calling an opponent liar; but. re memberlng his former humiliation, modi fed his views. and only called him !; tool.
 \, las. spring opened. John wa. gloomy and morose. He longed for hi: home He battled manfully agains, hi. old tune feeling. and was. in d measure successful, until several of the members were taken down with the chills. He couldn't stand t any longer, and with a heavy heart. he left the halls of his oountrys legislation. and sough, his bed at the wagon yard.
 The next morning, when the house assembled. Old John was not in his seat The reading of a certain bill was called for, but the document could not be found and an investigation revealed the iacr that one hundred and ninety-two bill. were missing. This discovery created 3 panic. The senate caused the entire house Ia be arrested on a charge O. negligence. and the governor was sg wrought upon tha, he resigned. O course old John stole the bills and wenr home. No, single bill of that session became law. and now. tha, all the fact. are known. Old John IS regarded as hay ing done more for the state than an, other of her many prominent citizens.