Morning journal and courier., 1883-09-24
NOTHING.

Ia { Song of the infant rat 'sOh, te be gnaw Women are more economical than men. You never catch man saving the combings from his hair to make switch with. h.-Yonk- CTS Gazette. e'.# ' -S L'1a 2 This country produces ,ooo, ,ooe pins an. nually. Consequently, young lady is, as dangerous to approach as porcupine.-Bos- ton Transcript. -5-sa --z e,.
 Lotta and Mary Anderson are liked by Chi oaeo although there is 8 wide difference be- tween them. Miss Anderson always kicks with her arms.-Denver Tribune.
 Our colored brethren are holding camp meeting not far away, and one of them, holding forth from the text, "How old art thou ?'' said in his opening, Brethren, this am question that must be answered in the affirmative. |" g@E& I The girl walked slowly down the aisle,
 Fer I0oSs Ssr made s ss the Ps0Bas sp.ise
 This lovely maiden without gaisle g
 Ambitious pupil to professor of mathemat- ics: "A man half alive equals a man half dead; is it not sop P. M: ssYes, senor. " A. F.: q state the proposition on the black board thus: alive = ] dead" P. M: "The question is correctly stated" A. F.: Sup pose, now. that each quantity be increased or decreased in the same proportion, the rela-
 
 it not?'' P. M: "Yes, senor." A. F.: Therefore, one alive equals one dead.' P. M.:i Enough of mathematics. s."-City of Mexico Monitor. eeH E
 She was talking over the fence to neigh bor: tT shall never forget" said she, "how funny it seemed when was first married, and how half ashamed was to take it when my husband first offered me money; but l soon got used to it, for he was very gener- ous. Then, discovering that her husband was overhearing her and looking pleased, she hastily added, ''but twa'n't any funnier in those early days than it is now, it's so mighty seldom he offers me any. y."-Cincin- nati Saturday night.
 'Pa, said little Porkinpine, looking up from his paper, "Pa, it says 'the Queen has fixed the ceremony of the dedication of the cairn to John Brown for September r. What is a 'cairn2''' D 'sIt's Scotch for baby" said old Porkinpine, with the air of man who throws of waves of information as a base- burner throws of heat. Its Scotch for baby, or little child. Scotchman's chill dren are his cairns, and suppose the Queen is going to stand godmother to one of Lord Browns children, or cairns, asyou may say" Burlington Hawkeye. .#a SALVATION ARMY HYMN. You ask what makes this awful fighting,
 Or why we, like others, don't keep still?
 You say our work is all excitement,
 And that we the madhousss will fill; But say mo- our Lord has freed us =r
 From the guilt and power of sin, . .a... - And ia his word He plainly tells us
 To go out and bring the wanderers in.
 You aay we should not make such noises .
 With our music and our singing in the streets, While folks here want to live so quietly, , And besides it's very indiscreet. Now my Saviour He walked along the highways
 With the shout of loud hosanna in the air.
 Why the hypocrite and Pharisee they rufhed out,
 Saying, what noise, do declare. -.
 You may say what you like about our mission,
 Our modes, our uniforms and plans,
 You have all tried your best to throw the halter
 On the multitudes and Moses of our land;
 But God in His glorious revelation,
 Now, as well as in the olden time,
 Has called the poor fishermen and women
 To catch nsh on the Hallelujah line.