The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-10-24
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The yellow fever-The love Of gold.
In view of the late volcanic erup-
tions it seems likely that all our "best
Java coffee" will come from Brazil
this year.
"Now that / have got my hay in"
said the relieved farmer, 81 think the
world would be greatly better for
good shower"
Tell us not in mourrful numbers
That this life is but dream,
When girl that we CHS one hundred
Gets outside quart of cream
And then wants more.
-EImira Gazette.
1T is strange that whenever some
young ladies begin to play on the piano
many of the audience commence to
talk. One touch of discord makes the
whole party chin.-Ne,O York AdUeT-
tiSer.
81 watched the pillows by day, ]
watched the sea by night says cur
rent poet. He should engage himself
as a hotel Clerk at the stashore, where
he could watch the bill.owes all the
tine.
Kindly words can never perish
Scowls and frOwns are neer forgotten
Never wrongs or insults cherish
Evil thoughts are lll-begotten;
If the little ones should taiter,
Do not box their ears or yank 'em,
But go out and get a halter,
Turn them upside down and spank EN-.
-NetD York World.
A fact Two gentlemen were ques-
tioning why professional men should
50 frequently be bald. The little
daughter of one had been an attentive
though unobserved listener, but made
her presence and opinion known by
suddenly exclaiming "Oh, papa, /
know; it's so that their wits can come
OUT
"How long have you been working
for me?" asked Mr.. Keely of his fore
man. "Fourteen years." was the reply.
How much do you know about run
ming this engine?" again asked keely.
" Nothing" said the foreman. He
Didn't want to know more than the
fat ler of the motor, so to speak,
Troy Times.
The latest "snake story" going the
rounds of the press is headed; "a
Young Lady Tightly Embraced by
Serpent" Such incidents are not rare.
But the young lady doesn't know at
the time that he is a serpent. Some
times she doesn't discover the fact
until after she marries him.-NorrEs-
tOIOH Herald.
Emperor William is said to have a
very extensive wardrobe. some of the
articles having been in his possession
and use twenty-five years. Tie en-
peror's wife is very different from
other women, or else plaster-of-paris
image vendors never call with busts of
Napoleon and Bismarck which they
offer to exchange for second hand
clothing.-NJrristo1On Herald.
An Irish lawyer having addressed
the court as ."gentl men," instead Of
Eyer honors," after he had concluded
a brother of the bar reminded him of
his error. He Immediately rose and
apologizel thus: "May it phase the
coort, in the hate of debate l called
yer honOrs gentlemen. l made mis-
take, yer honor'." The speaker then
sat Gown ChamI erS' Journal.
The Sandwich Islanders appear to
be tolerably good judges of a woman's
smile. a Hawaiian newspaper, in de-
scribing such an affair, says Her
rich, rel lips parted, and there flashed
upon the landscape two rows of
beautiful white teeth, Slowly her
mouth opened wider and wider.
Deeper grew the dimples in her bronze
cheeks. Brighter danced the sum
beams in her eyes, until a stray ray
darting through the foliage of an over
hanging bough, illuminated the deep
cavern of her mouth, bringing into
view the back of her head. Then, see
ing us gaze intently upon her, she shut
her jaw and darkness fell upon the