National Republican., 1883-02-12
WEI feet abonndl
Bdydrd Taylor.

SoUTH CAROLINA will hold tobacco fair at
Durham.
CHEESE mandatory has been started in
Yucatan.
WHEN the due is on the rye it is time to
pay the whisky bill.
A YANKEE has invented machine to make
cloves out of Eastwood.
A CHEERFUL face is nearly as good for an
invalid as healthy weather.
MoDJEsKA says that the proper spelling of
her maiden name is Modrzjewska.
AN English woman did not die until she
had sewed on buttons for nine husbands.
THE Evangelist Moody has always had
great aversion to sitting for his photograph.
CHICAGO husband received one cent dam
ages from the fellow who ran away with his wife.
BLACK satin toilets, with jet trimmings,
arc recommended to women with Titan red
hair.
A SAN Francisco grocer had woman 06
years old arrested for stealing three cents worth
Of snuff.
| THERE has been remarkable revival of
| pugilsm in this country during the last twelve
months
IT is the opinion of Edison that nothing
succeeds in this world unless 1t is practical that
n mule can run it.
THE "first honor" men of tho freshmen
and sophomore classes of the Mississippi State
university are girls.
CHICAGO hotels arc to be provided with
Chinese gongs, to be used for the purpose OF
waking guests in case offlres
THE air is so clear at Montclair, N. j., that
you can stand ON Eagle Rock and detect the clam
in cauldron of chowder at Coney Island.-Puck,
HENRY WARD BEEcHER says that he would
rather be the descendant of n monkey than to
! think he was made of the dust of the earth Every
man to his taste.
A MALE beauty, in the shape of an actor Of
| the name of Terriss, is coming over from England
next year. He is likely to make as great a sensa-
ton as Mrs. Langtry.
BISMARCK wears full beard, not because
1t pleases either him or his wife. but because It Is
q useful defense against neuralgia, TO which he
has SO often been martyr.
A WESTERN exchange is of the opinion that
when rope fire escape ladder is suspended from
every window of every hotel in the country, tho
burglar will become millionaire.
GIRL graduates in England wear gowns
precisely like those worn by university men, and
made by the same tailor. The only way to tel
which from tother is to wait for mouse,
"WHY do they cry SO much, pa?" asked
the Austin editors little boy at the theatre. re.
forring to the actors on the stage. Because they
sec so many deadheads in the audience" replied
the editor.
ST. LOUIS orders New York to take n back
seat In the matter Of developing idiots. She has
not only n quail eater, but q champion beer
swiller, a champion potato gormandizer, and
champion cigar smoker.
A PROMINENT New York sporting man has
| q; n Is1o dart thoth
is ready to bet twenty five elephants tusks against
the same number of red cotton handkerch!eis
that he can eat missionary day for thirty days,
pepsin and lemons barred.
A REPORTER of q San Francisco paper re-
Gently found five generations ofone family living
within block or two of each other. The great
great.grandmother is II years old, the great
grandmother &C. the grandmother 3S, her son 81,
and his baby daughter six months.
AN English paper shocks q great part of
the feminine world with the disclosure that tho
title lady is derived from the Saxon hleaf dian,
contracted in laidy and then into lady Laf, or
hlaf or loaf means food or bread and dian meaus
to serve, SO that the title lady means bread
server.
VALENTINE day is drawing near, and the
man who doesn't receive highly colored missive
showing person with head seventeen times
larger than all the rest of his body, and a nose
four times the size of his feet, and ears modelled
after the leaves of the elephant plant, may con-
slider himself of very little importance in tho
world, and he would be missed extensively he
were to 60 west and collide witha robust blizzard.
THE French sculptor Clesinger, heard that
his mother-in-Aw, George Sand, the novelist,
threatened to make him ridiculous in a novel. He
sent word to her that If she put him in novel he
would make naked female statue with her head
and shoulders on 1t and exhibit 1t ut the exhi-
bition. lie didn't get into the novel. So 1t is not
always necessary to swear at your mother-in-law
and empty pitcher of water over her in order to
make her behaye.-Detroh Free Press.
For fifteen years colony of bees had made
their headquarters in cave near Gridley, Cal.
The only access to their treasure was an almost
perpendicular wall of rock, and the difficulty Of
securing It had always been sufficient protection
until about IL week ago, when party of invaders
determined on an assault They reached the cave,
and, after q three hours battle with the bees,
came off victorious. In the cave was found
solid mass OF honey in the comb two and half
feet thick.
A FEW years ago clergyman, whose de-
cease was recently announced, being about to
make an exchange, applied at railway ticket
Office for Il half rate ticket, which II was usual TO
sell TO gentlemen of the cloth, He was rather
youthful looking minister, and the ticket seller
inquired incredulously "Are you Clergyman p
Quick as thought the young ulNlne Deghu 70 Opeu
his grpsack, saying, "Ill read you one OF my SER
mons The ticket seller was satisfied and handed
over the half rate ticket with readiness which in-
dicated that he was not In the mood to hear
theological essay.
A coMICAL case of house robbing was perpe-
trated in san Francisco few days ago. The wlfo
of prominent business man had at last secured
servant girl with lTst-c class character" but
day by day articles were missing. The lady Of
the house took observations, and for once kept
very quiet The servant was dressed for "call-
ingn and was Just going out, when her mistress
observed that she looked as II she had grown, or
that her clothes ht her too much, The servant
was questioned, aud of course became indignant.
Then the lady called her husband, who by aeci-
dent was home. custom house search was
made and il was shown that she wore several of
the lady's dresses under her own, and that pair
Of gentlemans pantaloOns served as a hustle. On
her person We're also concealed several other ari-
cles of wearing apparel, while little bags of sugar
and coffee were hid in her corset, and did duty us
patent palpilators. She had not neglected to put
on pair of the lady's latest fashioned and long
est stockings But before putting them on she
"padded" with bits of ribbon handkerchiek,
and other little articles that could be easily con-
cealed. She protested ngainst thus being made to
appear clad in the airy costume of ballet dancer,
but the search went on, and In the left stocking
was found jur of preserves, she protesting
against the Outrage, saying the protuberance was