davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
A FRENCH woMAN's REVENGE.

A yoang man was walking along
the rue de Ia Verrere. Paris, with his
flsncee on his arm. Suddenly another
Young man appeared before them, and
addressing the lady, said: "Mademois.
ellie, your future is a scouudrel. lie
has abandoned his mistress and her
child. I have no wish to oppose your
marriage. but I have sworn that he
shall be disfigured." and thereupon he
struck him several blows with 3 riding
whip across the face, bringing the
blood every time. While the wound
ed man was crying out with pain, he
girl who was with him made good her
escape in alarm, lest she was also to
be attacked. The author of the assault
allowed himself to be arrested without
resistance. He was conducted before
the police, where he said: Il am moi q
man. / am called LeoDie R. I
have been the mistress Of the person l
have disigured. He promised to mar
~ me, and he abandoned me with my
child. 1 swore to revenge myself, and
tor that purpose l put On this disguise"
After the woman had been identified
she was discharged. 1t is likely that
the intended marriage is indefinitely
pOetpOued.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
LITTLE JOHNNY ON DOGS.

One time there was a TELLER bot a dog
of i man in the market, aud the dog
was o bitter. After it had bit the fel.
low four or five times he threw a
clothes line over its neck and led it
back to the dog man III the market, and
he said 10 the dog man, the Teller did i:
"Old man, dldent you used to have this
dog2" The dog man he lukad at the
dog aud thot awhile, aud then he said !;
"Well yea, l had him about half the
time, and tho other half he had me-"
Then the Teller he was fewrious mad,
and he sed: "Wot did you cell me
such a dog as thisn for ?" And the old
man he spoke up and sed: 'sFor four
dollars and seventy-five cents, lofle
money" Then the Teller guessed he
would 60 home If the dog was wiling.
Uncle Ned, which had been in Indy and
everywhere, he says the Mexican dogs
don't have no hair on 'em. Dogs
howl loudern cats, but cats is more pur.
~ and can wok on top of a Tense and
blow up their tail like a bloom when
they wont to spit.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
PREVENTING BANK FAILURES.


A law to prevent bank failures is a
great want of the day, and the Times
reverts to China for aid. 1t says that
seven hundred years ago in Chiua, Lii
Tuk-Ho, the able prime minister of the
renowned Emperor Wan.Lung, devils.
ell a law so simple and yet so binding,
that since Its adoption no Chinese bank
has been known to fail. 1t provided
that upon a bank %suspending payment,
the heads of the president, cashier and
directors should be neatly Topped off,
and piled up in one corner with the
assets. This gave great satisfaction
to the creditors OF several banks,
which, unluckily. happened to fail tHst
as the law vent into effect, but from
that time to the present day no CHI
Dese deposlior has ever had cause 10
regret his Confidence.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
A NOVEL r1nBp1EoE.
from tn. Virginia. New. Enterprise.

LFrom the Virginia, New. Enterprise.1
A man who was appointed Waterman
1t . mine on the Comstock had 10
watch. He did not wish to buy one,
yet was DESTROYS of knowing how the
time was passing. He borrowed the
watch Of a friend Tor one night. On
returning the watch next day he told
his friend that he was all right now,
that he had q ~timekeeper OF his own.
He then unrolled a strip of paper some
tour inches in width from a stick aud
exhibited it as his clock. On this strip
Of paper he had marked down, as they
rose above the horizon, all the stars
with the time OF its making its app
pearance-hoIr and minute. Tue
Waterman says his watch is a fine time.
keeper. He has recently improved 1t
somewhat. The slip of paper now
runs on two small rollers that are
placed in . small box, which has a slid.
ing lid OF glass. As the night wears
away and the stars pass over, he now
turns the crank of his watch and looks
at the time marked by the side OF each.
To wind up his watch he runs the tape
back upon the initial roller.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
SHAVING THE FACE.

The staid old Journal of Commerce
has an editorial on the change OF fash
lon in regard to shaving. the face.
Thirty years ago, according to this
authority, . few persons of foreign
birth appeared in the streets with hair
on the upper lip, and were objects of
curiosity and sometimes of public
ridicuie.
In 1850 some of the young swells Of
the metropolis began to e mus.
taches. but for some time no clerk
would venture to initiate them. In
Que cas- q merchant on Pine street
who had just engaged a clerk for
twelve months, or during good be-
havior, discharged him for wearing a
full beard. claiming that the adoption
OF the fashion laid the clerk open to
dismissal under the good behavior
clause of the contract.
About the same time q number Of
leading merchants gave notice that
they would employ nobody who wore
hair IN the upper lip.
As late as 1851 the senior proprietor
OF the Journal Of Commerce made bis
cashier shave off an incipient nous.
tAche, and soon after brought his own
under the razor.
In the church Of DR.. Beihune on
Brooklyn Heights al elder who was
suffering from q lame wrist allowed
his beard to grow rather than submit
to a barber. The habit. beginning III
necessity, continued OIL account of the
increase of comfort which it afforded,
and the elder dauuted his beard before
fLA nnpnno from n0ruto.H1r o. Tk~
result was laugbable. Many of the
brethren called upon the pastor to in
sist upon doing away with such a scan
DIAL as q full bearded elder. He led
them to his library and showed them
how some OF the early fathers had
pleaded against cutting off the beard.
''He turned to Lactantius, Theodo-
ret, st. Augustine and st. Cyprian, who
had stoutly commended for the growth
OF the whole beard. He quoted from
Clement, Of Alexandris, the assertion
that Mature adorned Men like a Lion.
with a beard, as the mark OF strength
and power.' When one of the visitors
asked him how he would like it if the
assumed the mustache, DR..
Bethuue referred him to a decision OF
the fourth council of Carthage "a. D.
252. can. AZ, in which 1t was positively
enacted that q cleric shall not shave
his beard, and to . statement made by
Luther in discussing this subject, that
'ail the Protestant martyrs were burn
ed In their full beards.'"
This did not settle the matter, for
subsequently, the ladies Of the cougre.
grafton put inltheir protest, But in a
lew months Q veutnresome lawyer let
his beard grow after the manner of
the elder aud III q little while smooth
sbaven faces were no longer the rule
but the exception.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24

People don't expect to be killed by
lightning in icy wintry weather. but
returns so far received show that two
persons were killed by lightning dur
Ing the sleet. storm of Saturday, the
4th inst, In Missouri, and in both
cases the lightning went down the
chimneys. The bolt which Killed
Miss Alice Carr, i'll Crawford went
down the chimney Of her fathers
house, stunned other members of the
family and nearly demolished every
thiag in the room. That which kill ed
MIR Dority, in St. Francois county,
vent down the chimney of a calcine
furnace ut the Desloge works just as
he opened the furnace door. On the
following Tuesday, in several other
parts OF the state. people were severely
stunned by lightning coming down
their chlmneys during the Storm, but
no fatal accidents of the kind are 70.
ported on thatSdsy.Th The family fire.
side Is . dangerous place during cold
weather .hunder sstorms.a
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
A Baptist Minister'S Experience.

81 am Q Baptist minister. and before I ever
thought of being a clergyman 1 graduated in
medicine, but left a lucrative practice for my
present profession, forty years ago. was for
many years a sufferer from quinsy. Thonas'
Eclectrlc Oil cured MEL was also troubled
with hoarseness. and Thomas Electric Oil
always relieved me. My wife and child had
diphtheria, and Thomas Electric Oil cured
them. and if taken In time it will cure seven
times out of ten. 1 am confident It IL a cure for
the most. obstinate cold. or cough, and ifany
one will place the end Of the spoon in one nostril
and draw the Oil out of the spoon into the head.
by smiling as hard az they can, until the Oil
falls over into the throat. and practice 1t twice 3
week, I don't care how offensive their head may
be, It will clean it out and cure their catarrh.
For deafness and esrache. 1t has done wonders
to my certain knowledge. It Is the only medic
cine dubbed patent medicine that / nave ever
felt like recommending. and I am very anxious
to see 1t in every place. for I tell you that I
would not be without 1t In my house for any
consideration. am now suffering with q pain
like rheumatism in my right limb. and nothing
relieves me like Thomas Eclectrlc OIL" DR..
E. F. Crane, Cory, Pa, Sold by Charles W.
LOOmis, feb24l
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24

In the ninth century a Moorish free
booter settled upon the coast of SPAN,
OF the Mediterranean. He settled for
his resideuce a bay, from which two
promontories projected into the sea,
upon each of which he built a fortif.
cation. From this ~fastness his swift
sailing cruisers descended upon the
helpless merchantmen from Europe
which entered this sea and laid them all
under tribute. The name of this free.
booter was given as Ell Hapam del
Tariffa. 1t thus became universal for
vessels entering the Mediterranean
from Europe to pay tribute to Tariffa,
and finally the tribute came to be call.
cd tariff, which meant robbery. How
appropriate this word now in its appli.
cation to US, the people of this country,
who to-day pay the Same kind of tribute,
the many beng robbed for the Zurich.
ment Of the few.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
A GEORGIA MOTHER.
from the Hartwsu sun.1

A mans wife in Hart county has
given to twenty : one children,
and has been so unfortunate as 10 raise
every II of them. We heard one
OF the neighbors say he was at their
house when a storm was coming up.
The old lady blew the horn for the
children and she stood and counted
them as they came in. Somehow she
made the number twenty-five. This
mystified her and she declared that she
couldn't remember having but tw enty-
one. In order 10 satisfy herseli she
turned them all out in the storm and
let them In one at a time. She acted
as teller, while the visitor kept the tai.
ly-shsst.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24

The Columbus COZ. Sia'e journal
tells a queer story Of Il s~leigh.riac the
other night. When returning home
the young man tell asleep, and. in.
reaching fer a handful Of snow, the
Young woman fell cut of the sleigh.
The young man slept on and his horses
trotted back to their stable. In half an
hour the young woinan entered town
Oh foot aud went 10 the stable to get
her purse, which had been left in the
sleigh. Henceforth the young woman
has no use for thai young man.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
"a DARTER Nv MY OWN"
Iron the Hour.I

Sam Kimper was q ferrymsn on q
western river. who. although addict.
ed to drinking. was q good straight
forward fellow, always courteous aud
eorrect III his dealings. One night as
he was ''poling" a man and q woman
In . buggy across the river he heard
her say: "What will my father think?"
Further talk ensued, during which he
recognised the voice of . Doctors
daughter living a few mics down
stream. He did not like the mans
voice. aud was confirmed IN his preju.
dice when the fellow began talking
about going to Cincinnati and not let
her father know Of their movements
for . week. The girl began crying and
the fellow answered roughly. She
begged him to take her back home.
'sTake you back home" said he in a
rough laugh. "'Let q bird out of a
cage after you have fairly caught it?
Oh, no ! | love you too we'll for that"
By this time the boat was nearly across
the river, aud Sam said to the stran.
ger: "Mister, the currents pooty swift
to-day; there's q right smart ireshet
on. Reckon I'll have to ask you to
make the lines fast ashore while | hold
the boat agin the bank" The man got
ont and stood at the bow of the boat.
Sam poled it against the bank with
such violence that VI vent the man
onto the shore. Sam let the boat drift
away. aud turning to the girl, amidst
the bowls and curses of the mau in the
water, said: "Reckon ye don't want
him no more do your" "No, no I"
abe exclaimed. The girl being in doubt
about her ability to drive home, even
after she had reached the other shore,
Sam let his boat 60 down the stream.
''What are you going to do Pr asked
the girl. "Boa: We down to the steam
boat landln' for your town." THAT
will be q dreadful lot of work all for
. silly girl" Give got a darter Nv nv
own" said he. Pretty soon he stopped
polling. and the girl said be must be
very tired. "Not q bit of it," said
Sam. "l'm slowin' up SOS to reach
there about dusk" ''Just what 1 want
ed to ask you to do" Thought so,"
said Sam. "I've got a darter nv my
own" Everything Was favorable, and
NO one saw the carriage drive off the
boat. The girl promised that her
father would pay Sam handsomely.
Il don't want the money said Sam.
GIVE got a darter Nv my own. There's
one thing. 1 do want" said Sam: "If
doctors don't know good stuff from
bad, nobody does, an eff he could send
me q good solid drink O. somethin',
sesin' twill take me two or three
hours to pole the boat back" The
promise was readily given, and in ,
lew minutes down came the doctor
with . bottle of brandy aud two men
70 pole the boat back; but Sam said the
brnudy would be more useful as well
- better company. The doctor want.
- 70 know how be could repay HIM,
and Sam answered.: "You can repay
me in kind, eff ye ever get a chance,
I've got . dartsr Nv my own, "
know"
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24

The following is stated to- BE- u nearly
correct rule for measuring corr in
cribs Having leveled tho corn 10 tho
crib, measure the length, breadth and
depth, and multiply them together, and
deduct from the product one-fiith, and
you have the number of bushels in the
ear, for shell corn take one-half of this.
10 be strictly correct, add halt a
bushel for every 100.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
Lincoln Reads a Poem.
Honest Old Abe Entertains his Cab.
met with n Little

"Now, gentlemen. you all have more or lesi
poetry In your souls; listen to this,' and
Abraham Lincoln, then President, rose from
his chair, in his Office in the White House, and
read. In trembling tones, which indicated his
own profound appreciation of it, DR.. O. w,
Holmes Last Leai,'' of which the followina
are two verses:
''They cay that in his prime,
Ere the prunin. Knife Of time
Cut him down;
N0tsa better man was found
BY the crivr in his round
Through the town.
Now the messy marbles rest
On the lips that he had pressed
In their bloom;
And the names he loved to hear -
have peen carved Tor many u year isf
on tue temD.' RS
SMr. Michael Guilfoyle, of Binghamton. N,c.a
ID not as old as the venerable Boston citizen 81
yet he is more than three acore and ten. .sFor
the past eight of those years. - he writes. 81
have been q perfect cripple from rheumatism.
hobbling about as best l could with my cane. i
took ARKER,s GINGER Tonic. ana am nor
trace Of Me disease Ae5i about mel
Mr.; K. W. Mosher. wholesale druggist, of
Blnghamton. writes Messrs. HIscox & Go of
New York.Proprietors of the Tonic-certifyine
to Mr.. Gnilioyle's declaration.
Of ging.r,, GINGER ToNIcis 4 remedy
OF Infinitely greater range and power. 1t cures
All diseases arising from an impure state of the
blood or imperfect digestion. Dyspepsia land
al Us conseq9encesl, Malarial Fevers, Sick
common Coughs and Colds, vanish at it's touch
Price, so cents and 81 q bottle. Larger size the
cheaper. fehI7mI
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24

Gcoggia comes forward with the
champion deformity in the shape of q
child seven years old, tha: has . head
shaped liked a horse head. while its
gers have grown solidly together, but
covering the fingers is one large nail to
each hand, presenting the unslghtly
appearance Of a horse hoof.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
A ON CORN,

An llliterate farmer of the far west
was reading in a paper that, "owing tc
the large number of emigrants travel
ing this way, corn would probably
command a higher price," The old
man took off his %spectacles and said:
John, what in the world is an emf.
grantP" John was a young man and
knew everything.
"Well. father" he said, "an emigrant
Il don't exactly know, but l rather
guess he is somewhere between q
'possun and a coon; anyhow, I've
heard that they are death on corn"
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24

China possesses tie longest bridge
In the word. 1t Is at Lagang, over an
arm OF tie China sea, ana is five
miles long, built entirely of stone, 20
feet wide, and has 300 arches. The
parapet Is a ba,ustrade, and each of
the pillars, which are IS feet apart.
supports a pedestal on which is placed
a lion, 81 feet loag, made OF one block
of marble,
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
Take Your Choice

You can be weak, nervous. debilitated, and
respondent. disqualified for work OF head or
hand, or you Gin enjoy Il fair shsre of bealtl,
and peace of mind. Burdock Bloo,l D:t,eis ill
alleviate your misery and do you u world oi
good If you will bat have faith to try. Sold by
c. W. LOOMS. feL2I,r
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24

The Troy IN. " Press advocates
the installment of the whipping-post,
and is disguised with the bosh ABOUT its
being . relic of barbarism. 1t says there
is more barbarism in the assault of an
able-bodied brute upon . delicate wo-
man than there is in giving the coward
ly aud brutal wife. whlpper a few we'll.
deserved lasheS.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
ALMOST As BAD,
What b PerP1exed Physicians do
In Cases Of Emergencv.

In Cases Of Emergency.
"Il tell you the honest TRUTH answered
the doctor. ''Bright's disease bothers the med
ical men almost as badly as cancer does. Hav-
ing passed a certain stage. both point straight
to eternity. 1t may be unprofessionalto let out
the secret, but whenever q patient comes to me
with Brlght's Disease, or any kidney trouble
acting like it, 1 tell him 10 put on BENsON's
CAPCINE POROUS PLASTER without delay"
The doctor spoke by the the card. The Cap
cine goes right to the spot. If you can be help
cd, the Capcine will do 1t. Look out for frauds.
Is the word CAPCINE cut IN the middle OF the
p~laster3 II soSyeu All all right. Price % cents.
Seabury u johnson, Chemists; New York.
dlRheSt awards. fehlQml
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
DR.. Tanners stomach.

DR.. Tanner certainly has a great stomach
great because of its strength and endurance
We may err in saying that the doctor uses Bur-
dock Blood Bitters. but if he does his digestive
powers are easily accounted for. Burdock Blood
Bitfers being Il standard medicine Are sold by
all druggists. Sold by G. w, Lo0mis. Ia4tl
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
new RICH BLOOD,
PARSONS, PURGAIlYE PILLS

ly change The blood in the entire system in three
months. Any person who will take pill each
night from l to IL weeks may be restored TO
everywhere or sent by mail for eight letter
stamps. Send for circular. 1. S. JOHNSON
q ~: Boston. Mass: For sale BY Chas. W.
Loomis. Lexington. MO.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24

The English statis,ican. Mr.. Mulhall,
values the property OF this country at
$50. O00. 900 900, and says. it is the rich
est country in the world. England is
rated at $A OOO, OO0, 900, and France at
$S7, 200 900. 600.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
ALLOW Us to Try.

That . good deal of the suffering in this world
can be avoided by purchasing DR.. Thomas'
Eciectric Oil, and using it as per directions.
1t is an infallible cure for all aches, sprains, and
pains. Sold by c. w. Looms.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
ADMINISTER % MOTTO.
SHERIEF,S Saul.

4
vs.. &
William d. Graves,
u virtue OF an order OF sale, issued Z
- the Office of the clerk Of the circuit com
Saline county, Missouri. and in favor orTno
q: Graves, against William d. Graves, to
directed. and returnsble to the June e
1883, oil said court 1 will, on
THURSDAY. APRIL 5rn, 1883, I
between the hours Of nine O'Clock in the Il
noon md i've O'Clock in the afternoon or !.
day, and in front Of the courthouse door. Ia
Si,y o1 lexington ;ss IN Lafayette county, Missot
Lafayette county. sell publicly, by suctij
to the highest bidder, for cash in hand, ali
right; tile. interest, claim and estate OF
said William ID Graves, defendant in said or
of sale. in and to the following described j
estate, situate. lying and being In the con
OF Lafayette, and state of Missouri, to-Wit: ,
west half of the southeast quarter; aud the 6
nsii or the northeast quarter OF the northv
ship forty-nine As). of range tw entyHeiRht e
Given under my hand this 94th dsy ar i.
nary, 1eSS. BENJAMIN ELLIOTT,
yhu1ttu QhoplN
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
:IOHNSON'S
hNODYNE Eminent.

For Internal and External Use.
,CURE-Neura!gia. Diphtherla. Group. Asthma,
bronchitis. influenza. Sore Lungs, Bleeding at
he Lungs. Chronic Hoarseness, Hacking Cough,
Whooping Cough. Chronic Rheumatism Chrome
Diarlh9a, Chronic Disentery, Cholera Morbus,
Lame Back. Sold every where. Send for pam
billet TO L. S. JOHNSON h CO., Boston Mass.
For sale at Charles w. Loomis' Drug Store
Lexington, Mo. sept9yl
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
DIPH E RIA.
JOHNSON'S ANODYNE LINIMENT

will positively prevent this terrible disease, and
will positively cure nine cases out of ten. In
formation that will save many lives sent free by
better than cure. 1. 8. JOHNSON & o Bog
ton, Mass. PA%RsON's PURGATIvE PILLS make
new rich blood. For sale by c. W. Loomis.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
Lexington Market.

In this reportthe wholesale prices are given In
lett hand column, and retail prices in right hand
column. In country produce, the figures on the
left denote what the merchants are paying, and
on the right the prices at which they sell.
FLoURaRob,nsons Patent =. $50
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
SKINNY MEN:

"Wells' Health Reuewer" restores
health and vigor. cures Dyspepsia,
Impotence, Sexual Debility. 81.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24
DON'T DIE IN H. HOUSE.

"Rough on Rats clears out rats,
mice, reaches, bed-bugs, tiles, ants,
moles, ship hunks. gopners. r5c.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24

An exchange says persons using
kerosene lamps will be glad to know
that if the wicks are soaked In strong
vinegar twenty-four hours and thor
oughly dried before being inserted,
all smoke will be avoided, the wlcks
will last twice as long, and an increas-
ed brilliant light be obtained.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1883-02-24

Subscribers to the Intelllgencer can obtain our
Clubbing Rates on foreign papers and periodi-
Gals 1t any time during the year. In addition
to the above We extend to our subscribers the
benefit OF lowest club rates to all other leading
aagaxlnes and periodicals..