Bismarck tribune., 1883-06-22

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NEWS COMMENTS.
LYDIA PINKHAM was spiritualist.
HENRY WATm RsoN has glass eye.
Emperor William wears twenty five -year-old
hat.
RED is the rival Of yellow this season, even in
hair.
SWEDEN sent us l1,198 immigrants the last
five months.
Loco, the captured Apache chief, is an accom-
plished poker player.
GRANT and Sherman shink the star route
cases were talked to deatl
"srAn route cocktails are the latest addition
to American inward soothers.
TIE North Pacific expects to run trains
across the continent in October.
The prince of Wales is known as the royal
dude of the British kingdom.
If the critics don't soon let mp Ella Wheeler's
next passion will not be poem.
GAY hosiery is no longer in favor, young
men. Change your socks and be stylish.
The newspapers of the land are giving the
star route defendants another trial.
ANYBODY else lying around loose that wants to
be acquitted of anything-TBob Ingersoll.
An Eastern exchange wants the star route
lawyers to hippodrome as long-dlstance takers.
ASSISTANT Postmaster General Hatton has
named postoffice "Hattonia." Great Goshia
HURON Times: Notwithstanding the removal
of the capital, potatoes are in bloom at Yank-
ton.
The New York Worlds headlines alude to the
West Point graduates as "Our Seeding Sol
diers."
Gov. CLEVELAND, of New York, and Dan Man.
ming, Tilden's chief of staff, are mistaken for
twins.
The New York Journal has discovered a BASH
full candidate. He is looked upon as freak Of
nature.
There are already nine presidential candidates
talked Of with New Jersey and Alaska yet to
hear from.
BARNUM's big show was struck by tornado
the other day. Even the elements are putting
that man.
SCHOOL for servant girls is to be established
in the east. The majority of the girls need a
hire education.
'CRusHED strawberries" is not in favor as
color any longer, Spilled molasses' is looming
up in its stead.
Jumbo was attached in Chicago but was re-
leased upon bond being given and allowed to
go with the show.
TIE Philadelphia Times thinks that with Bis
marck the capital, Dakota might work pretzel
into its coat of arms.
strange case of somnambuliam is reported
from Chicago. A policeman was discovered
walking his beat at night.
A Kansas City yardmaster was killed by light
ming Saturday. The immortal Jove probably
mistook him for baggageman.
PRESIDENT ARTHUR's right arm is an inch
and half longer than when he became presi-
dent. Hand shaking did it.
&C. JORDAN aged 107 years, has just died at
Chattanooga, Tenn. Very few get on the other
side of Jordan in ripe old years.
WORLD: At the church festival the children
pass down the aisle, and SO they generally do
the next day-pass down the lie.
The st. Paul Dispatch heads an article sBe
tween Two Horns" It probably refers to the
free lunch feature of the programme.
PIT. Barnum says that he will never lecture
again. Oh! brethren, let us pray earnestly that
this reformation may be complete.
The Hindoos are said to have $50 900 gods.
Americans have but one, and even then But
this is no place for severe lecture.
SOUTHERN postoffice has been named Lang
try, but, like the lily, the only mail it will han
die will be light and of 40 Importance.
A NEW health resort in Minnesota or Michi-
CAD is called 'Somers.'' Some will summer at
Somers and some will summer someeres else.
Winnie Ream has just placed exhibition
her finest piece Of sculpture. 1t is a gift to her
husband, is girl and weighs ten pounds.
An East Minneapolis lady gave birth to 19-
pound boy on the night Of the 18th. St. Paul
must look to her laurels and not grow careless.
PERHAPS the amiable Senator Hoar thinks
that Tewksbury tanned human skin will answer
for General Butler instead of q Harvard sheep
skin.
ANOTHER man who wouldn't advertise has
been heard from. Florida merchant COM
mitted suicide because he "felt lonesome"
Next!
AN Indiana woman named Skaar has just
presented Mr.. Skaar with the twenty-second
child. That's enough to Skaar man half to
death.
An Atlanta cat has. six legs. 1t can outrun
any blooded rat on four Of them and yank the
rodent into its fond embrace with the other
two.