New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-28
WIT AND HuroR

WIT AND HUloR
No. Paul, the window Of the soul Is.
not pane in the stomach.
Its IN naughty and ice time when
the thermometerFis down to zero.
Egypt'would sell any Of all of its pyra-
mids cheap for cash If it could find q
purchaser.
It is said that great improvements will
be made next year in railroad restaurant
sandwiches. s&}f3
You can give man the cold shoulder
and not hurt his feeling q bit II you only
20 at it right 1t should be . cold shout
der Of mutton.
''Never kiss anybody on the mouth"
says Dr.. Hall, unless you are reckless
of consequences" What, do they ever
bite? No matter-we are reckless.
A young woman who has wart on
her nose complains that when she has
cold in her head it makes her nose
warter.
The zodiacal sign for the opening Of
Winter is a goat. The goat is hard
butter, and hard butter is almost always
sign that the weather is cold.
'He's grown to be q polished gentle
man, anyhow, said an old lady, gazing
fondly rs she spoke at the shining bald
head of her son, just returned after q
long absence.
Previous to 1860 the French would not
eat potatoes, it being supposed that they
would cause freckles. What harm would
1t have been had there been freckled-
faced nation?
Said a doctor to lady patient: ''You
must take exercise for your health, my
dear.'' "All right" she said; "rll
jump at the first Offer" They were
married shortly afterwards.
"What is virgin forest2'' asked an
auditor. sPhwat is a vairgin forest is
it ye want to knowp A vairgin forest,
sur, is one phwere the hand of man has
niver set fut, bedad."
'And what do you call that?' asked
the inquisitive visitor, pointing to mu-
tilated statue. THAT Is a torso" re-
piled the sculptor. "H'm," muttered
the visitor; ''but how did it become tore
sop
A man ut a hotel fell the whole length
NJ a flioht of stairs. Servants rushed to
pick him up. They asked him If he
was hurt. mo-" he replied: mot at
at all. I'm used to coming down that
way. I'm q life-insurance agent. !"
0no ~ tho A;daa N tho m;,;t.rv ataff
- ,ha Gorornor ~ ohio haa wnnnded
S;r,so,. ~ tho Lao thraa d;fFarant ,;rroe
.-h;is trr;no ~ dSow ~. .,-ord IN, .-1 ha
Is co;nc to nerseyere until he can coop-
a, tho I,roner stvlo - 81
A IMAM named Rarrell lives IN a town
IN Tho WESTERN mart ~ tha atata His
friends sav. sIf Won flour Barrall with
whisky he cets STAYING and hoons ,er nm
10 loudly that 4 noliceman chimes "a and
heads him for the conner aoma other
place of confinement. y
A marty ~ vonnr man fained sumntu.
o,,al,, at q rasto,ro,,t ora oocl,S ono &.
s;stcd ~ nov;nn tho 'h;II ~ dac;de tha
saa..a. :. 10y. israno.ad :, hI;ndfoiI ,he
wa'11l' UNI 'u nm, n'1 n. oLo 10 o"us n.
snoulu pay 'oo o'''' 1Ao nas" o"us"'
any 0. tnem YET
AN lhn ,o'. court !. mas aecioea ina! W.: ?
woman ne auou. III un w.
s 40 ucs .S"t Poo5 10 wu"
tnouRn 49,, .na. - 'noy oApooseu "on a.
10 ten the truIn on 11as po1ne sneF oe-
serVeo 20 10 s"'ooleu.
Said the owner OF tne pottery-works
~ sep.y - ques..ou 10y = ,o v.s'' ~ ~
"o novo' luz @ny h "in .o'. *,t:. u.ou
or cup cEtnes W. oau.y' o. su". - Sa! !.
noe oe SOY 'or 11e Pulpose .os wnlcn ~
Il 1ntHnoed' VIC dispose u II 1or 0rlc-a'
orae
Jones having invested m q silver mine
is puzzled. He has been called upon
tor an assessment 70 oullo WORKS ios re-
ouc'ng Tue ore ne always .nouSn' tte
9o3ect Oh n.n.ng was ~ ancteas0 'ne or.:
put Jones - NO.. an expert an' 40 uon
xno" nucn any way
Some one pinned card of"W arrant-
ed Fresh" to the cloak OF Chicago
woman, the other day. ana she walked
the streets tor two hours with 1t. NO"
,o- h,sh,nd mont. - ,x;u. nm hu,arod
do1,srs for tho 1870 e. ~ o"1 ,,;soraan'
~hn "a ~ ' adrnnt;s G y. 'uo ''o' e''n
""o WV viz '"'o''l''us
"Come here my little fellow" said
gentleman to youngster OF i've years
while sitting in parlor where large
company was assembled; ''do you know
m me -, etn tnlr. ~ 40 am =
LOU ltn tue man VINO ,i' klt !, ma ''ll1l
"nen papa ~, was 8 i ll1 Albany '''''
chow do you feel, my little manf''
aaked A vnllfh If his awpathparfsa little
brother. The young fiend looked up g
cd: II feel Just as # I'd like to have
dime.' He got 1t, but his prospective
brother-in-law now avoids the health
question.
He was a lispine drummer and had ,
pretty good opinion Of himself. He said
to his partner at d dance in town no,
far from Boston. u wanth von,th e
undoraton, +hot I'm M ord;rorv ,uur