Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-01-21
WIT AND HUMOR.

Stockings are now darned by ma
ehincry. They are darned nice.
A sociable man is one who, when he
has ten minutes to spare. goes and
5others somebody who hasn't.
A Jerseyman tells us his wife was
kicked in the jaw by mule. Did it
hurt her~ ''Bless you, no; but the
mule broke his leg, and had to be
shot"
The old gentleman who spent for
tune in endeavoring to hatch colts
from horse-chestnuts is now cultivat-
ing the eggplant, with q view to
raising chickens from it.
With long-ta tailed ulsterette and q
neat pair Of boots, it looks as if panta-
looms were an unnecessary part OF the
masculine toilet, and might be aban-
Toned with great comfort IN warm
weather.
Young man remember these things
while III the height of single blessed
ness Seven dollars a week with SOL
itude will pan out farther than ten
dollars with twins.
The King of Dahomey is the only
man in that country who is privileged
to bite off plug tobacco with his front
teeth, and he is q chap who appreci-
ties his enviable position.
In struggling to make dull Drained
boy understand what conscience was,
teacher finally asked: ''What makes
you feel uncomfortable after you have
done wrong?'' Fathers leather strap"
ieelingly replied the boy.
1t il the surprizes ov life that adds
most to our pleazures one man is sur
Drized with legacy from ritch I'M
kle; another, that the old speckled
hen has just cum off the nest with u
chickens.-Josh Billings.
He was watching his neighbours boy
climb q tree, and he had look OF
painful anxiety on his countenance.
Are you afraid the lad will fall and
break his neck?" was asked him. NO."
ne replied, Ppm deucedly afraid Inc
won't"
1t all depends on circumstances.
Strikes in manufacturing towns cause
greal deal of distress, but i'll a min
ING camp a strike is most fortunate
ching, especially if you strike it rich.
But in both cases every one is pleased
when the strike is ore.
'.Ain't that lovely critter, john"
said Jerusha, as they stopped opposite
the leopard's cage. "Waal, yes" said
John, "but thenhe's dreffully freckled
Unit he ?"-and Jerusha felt happy that
she was not one of those light scom-
plected" girls.
'No, William" she mournfully ut
tered, still allowing him to retain her
hand. mo, William, l can't marry
you. l don't believe you can provide
! wife with butter on your present
salary, and [ can't eat oleomargarine.
A little fellow of five going along
the street with q dinner-pail is
stopped by kind hearted gentleman
who says: "Where are you going, my
little MANI" "To school," "And
what do you do at school? You learn
to read?" mo" "To write? "No."
To COUNT" "No." "What do you
dO!" Il walt Tor school to let OUT
The most careful education in the
w orld can only direct for the time it
cannot change the inner current by
which we shape our course. We must
all make or mar ourselves by that
self-education, that moral choice OF
20 Cd or evil, which is the real indi-
viduality of each. And as we choose,
so must we live, and abide by the re-
suits of what we do as we'll as oil
what we are.
A Yankee came running down to
pier just as steamer was starting.
The boat moved off some four or five
yards, as he took jump, and coming
down OH the back of his head on deck.
he lay stunned for two or three min
utes. When he came to, the boat had
gone the best part Of a quarter of
mile, and raising his head and looking
to the shore the Yankee said; ''Great
IehosaDhoti what Il iumD."