The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-12-06
Didn't Understand.

uuBcf tuc hS.S VI ~ liaho. topoPpihB,
gazing for moment, he exclaimed,
We'll, I'll be dinged" and sat down.
The proprietor of the hotel. who was
present, was greatly amused and turn
ing TO the old fellow, said:
Don't understand this arrangement,
[ suppose?"
"Wall, 1 amt so mighty intermate
with it. L heard one onct as l was GO
ing along the road, but Jule-that's my
wife what was with me, lowed it was a
bangor"
"Come on and we'll show you how to
play on it" and, as the squatter took
position near the instrument, a shipper
ing young woman scattered her fingers
over the keys. The old fellow was
deeply interested and he looked around
with an air of establishment.
"It's intended for music, amt it," he
asked.
"Oh, yes" replied the proprietor.
"It's very fine music"
I'm mighty glad ter hear yer say So.
When L come ter town an go home,
wife she alters axes me eff / hearn any
music, an as you have tole me / ken
tell her that | hev. Hadn't been fur
yer 'splanation, Cap'n, l never would
have drapped on it, as the town folks
saw"
The young woman blushed to think
that her performance was not regarded
i'll a more artistic light, and was about
to shut the piano when the proprietor
asked her to play some familiar piece.
She complied, and the old fellow list
ened attentively until the conclusion,
when he said:
1T never misses chance ter cluck,
do it? Eff L had one o. them things L
could kill more turkeys than any man
in the curmunity. Could put it down
in the woods, yer see, and turn loose on
it, an the turkeys would come er flock
in from every direction. / speck,
though, the town foxes find some use
fur it. Mighty good thing ter hit on
when yer wanter make noise. Good
fur the chillun, too. Yer could hep 'em up
an let 'em bite them bone things when
they're cuttin' teeth"
Il think that you are very impudent,
sir, )" said the young lady, wheeling
around.
Didn't mean nuthin' outen the way,
nam. Know you're dom the best yer
| ken"
you don't understand this arrange
mentl" said the proprietor, in great
glee. "You see you have lived out in
the woods all your life and don't know
anything about such civilized instru-
ment," and the cultivated gentleman
and lady laughed.
"Mebbe so,' replied the old fellow.
"Mebbe so. L wouldn't find any fault
with it eff yer could add contrapshun
ter shell corn while yer was hittin' it..
This gal here's pretty likely, an bet
she could shell con like five huered.
Amt got hon aroun' here nowhars
that yer ken blow, l reckon. Would
like ter hear little suthin' like music
afore / go home"
Still you don't understand this ar
rangement, said the proprietor. 1T
requires years for countryman to see
all of its fine points.
"Mebbe so, sir; mebbe so. / was jes'
lookin' at them bone things an a
thinkin' whut fine boss teeth they'd
make. Got n ole boss out home that
KANT chaw, cause why, lost his teeth.
Now yer mout git some putty an stick
them bones iii it while its salt, an make
it inter the right shape, an airter it gifts
hard yer would have a set of teeth, yer
see. An this here part would make a
good wagin body. An these here wires
would do ter put on the trot line. Thar
amt catfish in the river that could
break this big one, and he twanged the
deep base wire.
We'll ask you to retire now" said
the proprietor, "as We want to prac-
tice."
All right" and the old fellow went
away. About an hour afterward he
came back, bringing q curious arrange
ment made of several leather straps, a
lot of cords and two pieces of pine
board.
Got er sorter curious arrangement
here myself" he said TO the proprietor,
"but don't reckon you Understand it.
Now I'll give you tune. Hold this
with yer right ham, thum' an for-fnger,
an this with yer lef'" The man took
hold and the squatter continued,
you've been Twin in town all the
time an don't un'erstan' this arrange
ment," and he pulled the strings and
sent two large ffsh-hooks into the
thumbs of the proprietor.
That's the music, he said, when the
man yelled, "but / don't reckon yer
un'erstan' it, and leaving the victim to
take care of the trap, the old fellow
sauntered away.-ArkdnSdlC Traveller.