The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-08-22
THE PkRsIDEN STICKS.
Mean Trick Upon a Distinguished Party
OF Chureh-Goers.

A Mean Trick Upon Distinguished Party
of Chureh-Goers.
lPeck's SUM-
Probably the meanest trick tbs. was ever
played on anybody, in a church, wAs played
st Washington q few Sundays ago. Tne
fact that the matter has not leaked out be-
fore lie because the authorities have been try
ing to ind cut the parties that perpstrated
the wicked joke. In one of the Washington
churches there is one row of pews down one
side that are reserved for distinguished ci.i-
zene. 1t was in one of those pews that the
editor of the Sun was ushered when he was
there year a. o. The usher seems to know
q distinguished citizen when he sees one.
But this is neither here nor in Washington
On the Sunday in question some idiot Got in
to the church before the services commenced,
and put some OF this prepared glue on all the
seats in this pew. The seats were soon flled
up with distinguished citizens of Washing.
ton, the President, members of the Cabinet.
Assistant Postmaster. General Hstton, Pub
lie Printer Rounds, judges, prominent law
yers and visitors to tie city. When the con-
gregation got up to sing, the occupants of
the glue row made an effort to rise, and then
with one accord all remained seated. They
bad TO remain seated or get up without their
customary clothes on. The congre cation
looked at the row that was seated, looked q.
each other, and then some sat down, think.
ing, perhaps, it was the style to cit down.
The services proceeded, and every little
while one of the men who was stuck would
try to move around little to sea if he was
loose, and all the rest would look at him to
see if he succeeded in tearing himself away.
The President, who had on a pair of light
lavender pants, is said to have watched Mr..
Hattons efforts to tie himself loose with
great interest, and the perspirstion rolled off
the Presidential face as though he was out
fishing in the sun. Judge Gresham is said
to have gone to sleep as usual, and he never
seemed to give his pants thought, but, on
the contrary, Mr.. Rounds is alleged to have
become nervous and pulled at his pants un.
til he broke his suspenders, and then he quit.
If there is one thing Rounds does know, 1t is
when to quit. When the last hymn hsc
been sung the congregation moved out At
the signal of the bsnediction, except the
gentlemen of the fated row. When
ell had passed out that seemed to de.
sire to do SO, the sexton came along, and
Mr. Hatton told him what was the trouble,
and then they all discussed the situation
The President was Of the opinion that it was
the work OF second Guitesu, but Mr..
Rounds said it was clearly the work OF an
incendiarv. Teller, who was fastened to the
same pew as Folger happened to be in, was
for saving of TO see who could break the
monotony, but Folger would not hear to it,
and wanted the sexton to send for the Sur
geon-Genersl to amputste the whole party.
Hstion, who wears short coat, ssid he
should stay there until night, and send for
his carriage. Finally the sexton took Mr..
Rounds by the collar, and took hold of the
hem of his garments with the other hand.
and by strong pull released him, with
some of his pants, and when once it was
found that pulling would relieve them, they
all got loose, but they were tired lot, and
all who did not have carriages went home
by the back streets. A purse was raised to
pay detectives to hunt the villains who put
the glue On the pews to their lairs, and il is
probable they will be arrested before the
news gets out. A person who would thus
defile church, and heap indignity upon the
first citizens of the republic, is fit only for
treason, stratsgems and politics, but such
people do exist, and it is not strange that
they shculd visit Washington. 1t is be-
ievod the deed was done by some disap.
pointed Office seeker, and Mr.. Hatton will
leave no stone unturned to find the guilty
party.