Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-01-31
WIT AND HUMOR.

A place where duty calls-The Gus
tom House.
About the most troublesome faction
in any political party is dissatis-fac-
ton.
Men arc geese, women are ducks,
and birds Of feather flock together
The most wonderful thing about
the sea- serpent is that it's never actu-
ally seen serpent. LID
By a Brute: The man who never
smclt powder is the fellow who never
held his nose close to q WomaH's
,'|i"ri;.
4 'rnn who said he spoke from ex-
A.e lately declared that, i'll his
III -, "the worst thing out" is ones
ailtch on dark night.
: ~ spherical knowledge Is nos
..',.-ol ;lily distributed in our schools.
\ boy being asked, "What is mist?"
vaguely replied, Gan umbrella"
"Stars," said an Irishman, are much
more useful than the sun, for they
shine in the night, when it is dark,
but the sun shines only in the day
time, when there is light enough
without it."
"Good morning, Patrick. You have
got new coat at last, but it seems to
fit you rather too much"-"Och,
there's nothing surprising in that;
sure, l wasn't there when [ was inca
sured for it"
A gentleman having servant wish
n very thick skull, used often to call
him the king of fools. 81 WISH" said
the fellow one day, "you could make
your words good, as l should thea be
the monarch of the world"
Considerate Mother (to governess) /:
"Miss Smith, don't let Alfred and
Jennie sit down on the damp grass,
for fear they should catch cold. When
they are tired you can sit down and
take them on your lap"
A jealous man, testifying in a law
suit that lie had q suspicion with re-
gard to q certain matter, was asked
what suspicion is, to which he
replied, "It is feeling that impels
one to find out something which he
doesn't wish to know"
There is nothing that so takes the
starch out Of young man who has
dean welded about q year as to have
30 go to y shop where there is girl
Luat he used to keep company with,
tul inquire Tor those large-Sizcl safe
y pins.
Lawyer G. entering the Office of
his friend, DR.. NJ, and speaking in a
hoarse whisper: Erred, l've got such
a cold this morning that cart speak
the truth" DR.. NJ. "WcIl, Pm glad
that it's nothing that will Interfere
with your business"
Dumqs ills is sometimes severe. The
conversation had turned upon Nine.
A., who had been very beautiful.
''She has something of a goddess" said
q faithful adnirer. YES" SAIL Du-
mas, antiquity"
Child Scarcely three years old)
looking Wistfully at q diminutive
pie-Mother: '.Mcta, I want you to
save your nice pie 50 your papa can
see it when lie comes home" Child,
looking still moro Wistfuly: 81 sink
| could tell papa exactly how it
looks"
Meeting q newsboy whose face was
Scared with scratches, q reporter
asked him what tho matter Was.-
':Fellcr spoke agiu my sister. Said
he'd bet she Was cross-cye.i, and
sailed ill.," SIS your lister cross cycd?"
asked the reporter. ''llain't got no
sister," was the reply; sit was the
prilCcrplc Of tho tang that got
&C .,cd 49,"
I'm Iowa schoolmastcr knocked down
a hornets nest to Use in Illustrating
&c urr, bit If the remarks Ac made
i.nmlc1l itcly after while kiting ACROSS
~ c,amtry were mar1iy those he in
tenlci TO use in the lecture. rl;tive
t. the hornets ncs.-lmd they certain
Is REFERRED to the ncst-tnc discourse
was one totally unit fOr chiinrc:I to
hear.