The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1883-04-21
ait and Yumor.
PLEADING HIS OWN CASE.

Stephens was on the Bennett slue, anu
Robert Toombs, then Senator of the United
States, was for Dr. Royston. The doctor
proved his number of visits, their value ac-
cording to local custom and his own author
itv to do medical practice. Mr.. Stephens
told his client that the physician had made
out his case, and as there was nothing
wherewith to rebut or offset the claim,
the only thing left to do was to pay it.
NO" said Peter, Il hired you to speak
to my case, and now speak.
Mr.. Stephens told him there was nothing
to say: he had looked on to see that 1t was
made out, and it was
Peter was obstinate, and at last Mr..
Stephens told him to make speech HIM
self if he thought one could be made.
II WILL said Peter Bennett, "if Bobby
Toombs won't be too hard on me.
Senator Toombs promised, and Peter
began:
"Gentlemen of the Jury: You and l Is
plain farmers, and if we don't stick together
these ere lawyers and doctors will get the
advantage of us. I amt no lawyer nor
doctor, and amt got no objection to them
in their proper place; but they amt farm
ers. gentlemen of the jury. Now this man
Royston was a new doctor, and L went Tor
him to come and doctor my wifes sore leg.
And he come and put some salVe truck
onto it and some rags, but never done 1t
one bit of good, gentlemen of the jury. L
don't believe he is no doctor, no way.
There is doctors as IS doctors, sure enough,
but this man don't earn his money, and II
Won send for him, as Mrs. Sarah Atkinson
did. for a negro boy as was worth 81 ,OOO,
he lust kills him and wants pay for 1t.
II dontr' Numbered the doctor.
'sDid you cure him?" asked Peter, with
the slow accents of judge with the black
cap on.
The doctor was silent. and Peter pro-
ceeded:
"As was saying, gentlemen of the jury,
we farmers, when we sell our cotton, mas
rot to give value for the money we ask,
and doctors amt none too good to be put
to the same rule. And l don't believe that
Sam Royston is no doctor nohow.
The physician again put in his oar, with,
Look at my diploma if you think L am
no doctor.
His diplomat exclaimed the new-hedged
orator, with great contempt. CHS dlplo-
ma! Gentlemen, that is big word for
printed sheepskin, and it didn't make no
doctor of the sheep as first wore it, nor
does it of the man as now carries 1t.
good newspaper has more in it, and Ii pint
out to you that he amt no doctor at all.
The man of medicine was now in fury,
and screamed out. Ask my patients if L
am not doctor"
II asked my wife, retorted Peter, land
she said as how she thought you was not
"Ask my other patients" said DIR. Roy
ston.
This seemed to be the straw that broke
the camels back, for Peter replied with
look and tone of unutterable sadness, 'That
is hard sayin, gentlemen of the jury, and
one as requires me to die or to have power
as I've heard tell ceased to be exercised
since the Apostles. Does he expect me to
bring the Angel Gabriel down to toot his
horn before his time and cry aloud" awake
We dead, and tell this court and jury your
opinion of Royston's practice? Am [ to
90 the lonely churchyard and rap on the
Silent tomb and say to UNI as it at last at
last at rest from physic and doctor bills.
Cit up here you, and state if you died
natural death or was hurried up some by
doctors? He says ask his patients and,
gentlemen of the jury, they are all dead
Where is Mrs. Beazley's man Sam? TO
ask the woman in the churchyard where he
lies. Mr.. Peake's woman Sarah was at
tended by him, and her funeral was ap-
pointed and he had the corpse ready.
Where is that likely Bill as belonged to
Mr.. Mitchell? Nor in glory a expressin'
his opinion of Royston's doctorin. Where
is that baby gal of Harry Stephens? She
are where doctors cease from troubEn and
the infants are at rest.
Gentlemen of the jury, he has eat
chicken enough at my house to pay for his
salve, and furnished the rags and don't
suppose he charges for maxim her worse,
and even he don't pretend to charge for
curin' of her, and am humbly thankful
that he never give her nothin' for her in
wards, as he did his other patients, for
something made em all die mighty sud
den
Here the applause made the speaker sit
down in great confusion, and in spite of
logical statement of the case by Senator
Toombs, the doctor lost and Peter Bennett
won.