The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-09-08
Mx. spoopxnpvxs,s FOOT.
Brooklyn kAsle.l

8fee. ueuctfnk i0to nts WIG room. and throwing himself into chair with des. ola,e expression cf despair on hss vssase, My dear there IS something the matter with my fcc,. and l can't make ou, what the trouble ,s.
 - know" exclaimed Mrs, Speopen. dyke. lowering over him ~sih an aisec- tiona,e interest and solienude. ~l think its rheumatism
 No. IL amt rheumatism. either .'' growled Mr Spoopesdyke. " l, ,s some thing worse than rheumatism. and fl R goes to my heart il ~ili kill me.'
 Maybe it's . stone bsu,se,' suggested Mn. sPoopendyke. not rcAllIing ths, great deal of the sentiment and most oi the danger arc taken out cf a rnalady when II IS definitely Ascertalned wha, the malady Is. An you want Is some liniment sni you ~,ll te all right by to-morrow."
 | That's all you know about Il" "gyunted Mir. Spocpendyke. who was not to he put of with 90 sman disaster as a stone b,uise. "l tell you tha, have sos some trouble with my too, ,ha, threatens my lite, and you stand around there like a cork Tn a bottle and talk aboa, Il as though hadn't so, one lex into my cot. fin as lar as the hip. Here 1 am lacking al deaths door ~iih game foot. and all the interest you have m the matter IS io sheo, efi vast amount of ,n;ell. sen,e abou, stone bruises tell ye. its something that amt 10 he tnHed with. Now, what'rc you going ,e de abou, Il ''
 Are you sure |, isnt corn 7" has. aided Mrs. Spcopendyke. umldly l" Sometimes corns hurt worse than any. ,hlng else, hu, never heard of people dying of them"
 No. Il .sni corn" hewled Mi 1 spoopendyke. nursing hts foot. and glar. ing ai his wife with mingled expression oi rage and pam.
 What d'ye think this foot IS, anywa, An agricultural dis,nctt When d.d you ever hear of corn ,ha, reached from the heel to the kneel Which of your friends ever had a corn that hurt clear ,o the ] es, = and Mir. spoopendyke touched h,, teo, carefully to the hoot and eyed his wife narrowly ,o see fl she noticed the es. ptesslon oi agony on his face.
 n Il acts m that way Il must he bun. ion exclaimed Min. Spoopendyke. ,rl. nmphan,ly. An you have go, to do Is take your boot of and pu, your slippers on"
 . That's H." yelled Mr spoopendyke. hauling oh hts shoe and hfing !, across the room. When a man Is dying ei in- hammatory rheumatism it's only A bun ion You've go, II, A pain that starts Al the toe. runs to the back of the ne. k and t,es m a hard knot ove, the spine is bunion' e,s"~ 1.s a.:=..... :" he ea. ,lnned. king h,s leg out straight and po,nisns kIs tnget al the offending loot. Iake thn digit in your lily white hand and place ii tcndefly en the dod gasted bunlon before tiie and forget what killed me iiek out of the surrounding anatomy he yelled, wtiggling h,, foo, and bouncing up and down ,n his char ] in deiirlum of rage. iiuek the bunion from is mountain asiness on the hooi of spoopendyke and hold il up to the gase of the aame -
 Does a hurt f' commenced Mrs i Spoopendyke. soolhingy.
 "Hnn VI foared Ms Spoopend.ke, springing from his char and dansing around the room like flea. "ot course fl don't. l, ucklea Hurt. its pit. nlo say. my dear,' and his voicr was low and tender, say, my dear. instead of going ,o the eeun,ty ,his summe, l lay in s,eek of ban.ons and wear en around fot onf health and recreation ] Hurt :" he shfeked, breaking out m a ne~ spot. Hua II teeis like band oi ruusl, That's what Il is, a bunion IL took you to hi, IL When ] get tune io fl you up with a full beard and a bottle of whisky I'm going to start mspensary wi'h ..ou' II you'd only improve yous mind s~,Il you reached the standards of in'eihgcn, . Of a moderate donkey you'd only need ncIen corpse and bad smell 10 be hr,'-e lass saed.eal college P
 Say dear, observed Mrs. Spoop~n- dyke. ~ho had been carefully exploring her husbands oo:s say, dear, think I've found oat wha, the trouble |. II isn't bun,o1. after all. Here's peg suekin. ou, Sere about quane, of an inoh. fl you will have thai taken out doni believe ycu will saffer any more
 Af Spoopendyke iammed his hs, over his eyes. sho.ed his feet into hls siippess. gfabbed the obnoxious boot and started for he door with ~ithe,ing look al his Nife as he vent out,
 :" don'i care" muftnured Mrs. spoop- epdyke, as the front door slammed sin- distiyely don't care. If he has Il taken out he has to admit that ] vas fighi, and Il he doesnf, il will hurt him III hedies. don't know Shich wiii be Inc wofse for hIm, bat he will have 10 do one hing nr ,he other And with ,his cro~nsng triumph still in her mind. Mrs SPoopendyke began to scarce he Sies out of the room with sheet wondering shy Hy ~ho had been h4lf smashed against me ~lndo~ frame Ni.i inNa on coming into the other to be smashed over again