The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-08-15
THE STAY-AT-HOME BOY.
As Graphically Described by an Expert
Oh Boys.
BILLsYE.


ritated and pick up his clothes in the
heat OF debate and leave his home nest.
His future is little doubtful, and it is
hard to prognosticate whether he will
fracture limestone for the streets Of
great city or become President OF the i
and luminous life ahead OF him in COM
parison with that of the boy who oh /
stinately refuses to leave the home nest. |
The boy cannot summon the moral |
courage some day to uncoil the tendrils |
of his heart from clustering idols of the |
household to grapple with outrageous
fortune ought to be taken by the ear and !
led away out into the great mtried
realm Of space
While the great world throbs on, he
signs and refuses to throb. While other
young men put ON their seal-brown
overalls and wrench the laurel wreath
and other vegetables from cruel fate,
the youth who dangels near the old nest
and eats the hard-earned groceries OF
his father. shiyers on the brink of LIES
great current and sheds the scalding
tear.
He is the young man afraid OF the
sawbuck. the human being with the
unlaundered spinal column. The only
vital question that may be said to asitate
his pseudo brain is whether lie shall
marry and bring his wife to the home
Z II
parents to live with his father in-law.
Finally he settles it and compromises by
! living alternately with each.
How the old folks yearn to see him.
How their aged eyes light mp when he
| comes with his growing family to de-
your everything in sight and yavn
i through the space between meals. This
is the heydav Of his life; the high noon
OF the boy who never ventures to ride
i the yearIing colt or TO he yanked through
the sIimmering sunlight at the tail Of
the two year-old. He never dared to
have any fun because he might bnmp
4 his nose and make it bleed on his clean
clothes He never serTnptitiously cut
Il the copper wire OFF the lightning rod to
snare suckers with. and he never went
in swimming because the great, rude
boys might duck him or paint him with
mud. He summed the green apple Of
boyhood. and did not slide down hill
because he would have TO pull his sled
back to the top again
Now he bolTows other peoples news
papers. eats the provisions Of Others
and sits ON the counter Of the grocery
+ till the proprietor calls him a counter
irritant
These can he nothing more un-Aner-
lean than this fiabby pelyp. this one
horse tadpole that never becomes a frog.
The average American would rather
burst mp il. business six times in four
years and settle for nine cents on the
dollar than to lead sneh life. He
would rather bean active bankrupt than
weak and bilious barnacle on the clam
shell OF home.
The trne American would rather work
himself into luxury or the Innatic asy-
lum than to hang like a great wart on
the face OF nature. This Young man is
not in accordance with Yankee sched-
ule. and yet do not want to say that
he belongs to any other nation. For
eign powers may have been wrong;
transatlantic nations may have erred,
ana the system of European Govern
ment may have been erroneous. but
would not come ont and charge them
with this horrible responsibility. They
never harmed me and l will not tarnisli
their fair fame with this grave indiet-
ment.
He Will breathe q certain amount OF
atmosphere and absorb given amount
: of feed for a few years. and then thu
fun grown hiped will leave the home
/ nest Mt last The undertaken will come
i and get him and take what there is lef
: of him out 10 the cemetery That vii
be all. There can be no deep abiding
} sorrow for him here; public buildhngs
5 will not be draped III mourning; ano
you can get Your mail at the usual hour:
when he dies. The band viii not play 1
sadder strain because the fag end of {
human being has tapered down to death
and the soft and shapeiess features ar,
still. You will have no trouble in get
ting draft cashed on that day, and the
throng viii join the picnic as they hat
r,adp a1-y-auxanients tn dn