davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-08-23
Brother Gardner on Matrimony.

II understand, began the President
of the Lime-Kiln Club, as the meeting
opened in due form, ''dat quite num-
Der of de members of dis club am
gwine to be married doorin' de sum
mer. OATS all right, an wish 'em
much joy, an shall be glad to witness
de obsequies of each an ebery one.
But, l want to say a few words in
gineral. In de fust place, am you
gwine to mary fur love or fur sort o.
bizness partnership? If you answer
fur love, let me warn you to be sartin
dat you doan' mistake de sentiment.
Many young man who Thought his
heart torn by love has plunged into
matrimony to diskiver dat he simply
had an admiration fur a thirty dollar
set of false teeth an a high instep. If
you answer fur sort o bizness part
nership, let me warn you not to expect
too much. You won't love de woman,
an she won't trust you. 1t will be
sort O. hoss trade in which both par
ties will be cheated and both continer
to be mad about it. You kin cit along
arter a fashion, an people who see her
on your arm at a circus won't know
how you fight at home.
''If you mus marry, let common
sense have show in de transackshun,
Doan' go off yer feet bekase you meet
gal who kin sing like robin, smile
like a rose an jump off street kyar
widout boderin de driver to stop. A
wife will have much to do besides
singin' an cultiyatin' dimples. If you
am gwine to marry, ak yerselves how
fur ten dollars per week will go when
divided up fur clothes an pervishuns
an house rent an fewel an incidentials.
Befo' you fall in love wild gal who
looks too sweet fur anythin' in red
plush sacque, kinderfigger on how many
sich duds your income would afford
her. Befo' you am all broke up ober a
gal who plays de pianner, talks French,
paints landscapes an reads poetry, jist
sit down an fgger who am to cook yer
meat an taters, patch yer cloze, darn
yer socks an help ye make twelve
dollars buy fifteen dollars worth of
things. Befo' ye let a par o. fashin'
eyes an a cunnin' dimple captivate ye,
look aroun' a. little an see if de owner
has got a temper like wildcat. Mar
riage am lottery simply bekase people
take each odder insight an unseen.
Let us now prognosticate to bizness. -
Detroit Free Press.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-08-23

Tidy and the bear were attended by
a throng of admirers. Men, women
and children had run out of their houses,
and were following the bear.
'Jehoshaphat!'' said Jonas.
Aunt Huldah rushed to the door, ut
tered shrek and tainted at the sight
''There isn't another girl in Ponka-
donk who would have dared to do that.
That comes of being my sister, and
knowing all about bears and things, =
said 'Bimelech, with his mouth full of
pie. That's the bear that strayed
away from the circus. There are posters
all over Cranberry Center Offering ten
dollars reward for his return. Won't
you be rich, TildyP I'll take you to the
circus, and you can pay for both. y
Jonas went in search of old Lightning,
and soon brought him home, looking
thoroughly ashamed of himself, and
neighing humbly to Tidy.
'Bimelech carried the bear over to
Cranberry Center to his owners that
very night although Tidy felt very
sorry to part with him-and brought
Tidy the ten dollars. And Tidy had
her new cambria dress and the prettiest
hat in Ponkadonk, without waiting for
Aunt Huldah's butter prize; and she
bought for Bimelech very big book
on natural history, full of pictures of
animals and birds, and a beautiful new
butter stamp for Aunt Huldah, and a
gay neck-tie for Jonas. And when the
circus came to Ponkadonk Tidy met
her bear again, and he greeted her like
an old friend.-Sophie Saoeet, in Har-
per'S Young People.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-08-23
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS

"A girl has been arrested while dis
guised as an old woman The old
woman disguised rs girl is still at
large. Chicago Tribune.
He shot himself in the woods" is
an Indiana papers account of a suicide.
The bullet, of course, must have taken
effect in the lumber region.-M 7.
Graphic.
Clara Cooking at the bonnets,
etc. }; ''Don't you think they alseVery
handsomePn Amy (whose thoughts
are on the other side of the street,:
''Very, specially the one with the black
mustache. n-DetroH Free Press.
Several ladies lost their house
plants by freezing last winter. There
is no excuse for such negligence. Three
tons of coal at eightdollars per ton viii
carry dollars worth of house plants
through the winter safely.-M K. Nescs.
81 declare!'' exclaimed Mrs. Tid-
nice, 81 never saw a girl like oilr SaryI
Jane. worked almost two hull days
on her new bathin' dress, and don't you
think, she got it wringin' wet the fust
time she put it on!''-Chicaqo Herald.
IL have often noticed that gallant
young men walking with their sweet
hearts offer the left arm, while devoted
married men with their wives offer the
right arm. Why is this?'' Edith:
s'The left arm is nearest the heart; the
right arm is nearest the pocket book"
Boston Post
Host (really in agony about bis
polished inlaid floor Hadn't You
better come on the carpet, old fellow
I'm so afraid you might slip, you know. y
Guest with wooden leg1-sU, it's
all right old fellow-thanks! There's
nail in the end you know. 1--N. x.
Journal.
The editor OF a village newspaper
near the city wrote Of young gentle
man who sung in the choir, that he
was among the best of their amateur
singers, and he was horrified to see 1t
appear in his paper, lone Of the, best
| Of our amateur sluggers." He has
gone fishing until it blows over.-M X
| Times.
"A genuine dude has struck Lara
n1ie He has homeopathic head and
allopathie feet. His pants are so tight
bildb uc ucfSIr Idkco buSH1 OHs dHu uo
has plate glass window in one eye.
The other is closed for repairs. Hs got
on the widest kind of deba1ch last
night with half an ounce of pepper
sauce and bunch Of cigarettes. He
halls from New Y York.-Ldransis Poons-.
s~aHg.
The Arkansaw man has many RayA
/ of getting his name into print, and
when all other means fail the faad-dog
1 resort is taken up The gentleman who
wants his name TO appear in the local
paper calls on the editor and says.
'Killed the biggest mad dog this morn
ing you ever saw Better make local
10 that effect as it might serve as
warning to the people Of the neighbor~
hood. You needn't say that I killed
him. Just say that very la-ge mad
dog was killed the other day hy-well.
you can put my name in. ] don't t care" "
--ArkaNsaU Traveller
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-08-23

The old bell of Trinity College,
Hartford, Conn, has at last found a
resting place over the dormitory of the
Episcopal Academy, in Cheshire. Some
years ago the students in the college
turned the bell upside down one night
and filed it with a mixture of wet
plaster of Paris and nails. The mass
solidifed, and. as the professors decided
not to have the bell cleaned out, the
students were obliged to attend chapel
and recitations without the warming
notes of the bell This was a hardship
the students had not thought of. and
many of them received so many marks
for absence that they would gladly
have paid to have the bell restored.
The faculty held out, and the old bell
was never more heard on Trinity
grounds. Hacess Register.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-08-23
Legend OF Silver Spring.

Silver Spring is said to be the largest
spring in the world. 1t is the source of
the Ocklawaha River, which is sixty
feet wide at the start, ten feet deep and
with current flowing two miles an
hour. All this vast quantity of water
comes from the spring, whose only in
lets are at the bottom. 1t is about two
acres in size and its mysterious depths
have never been explored. There is an
Indian legend about Silver Spring, of
course. Verona, the beauty of the
tribe that inhabited the neighborhood.
won the love of Chullootah, a hostile
chief. Her Wrathful father slew the
lover and then Wenona drowned her
self in the spring, which was then
small, but was instantly enlarged to its
present proportions by the Great
Spirits abundant tears of sympathy
Florida Paper.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-08-23

Father to his from-the-university-
back-returning- ng-son-..W thou hast,
of course, no debts?n Son-'sThree
thousand marks Father What!
three thousand marks?n Son-ssWell,
art thou not proud that thy son so
great credit hathP Pr Omnibus
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-08-23

The majority of the better class OF
New York shop girls are said to remain
single because the men they may
marry are not refined enough for them,
and the men they would marry never
ask them.-N. z. Grophic.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-08-23

There are some girls so awfuIly
nice that they will not dance with a fei-
low in ballroom if his hair sticks up
on the back of his head. The same
girl may be seen at the age of thirty
one looking in seven different direc-
tions for husband. Detroit Post.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1883-03-23
LITERARY NOTES.

The History Of the Science of Politics
BY Frederick Pollock. Price II cents
j. Fitzgerald, Publisher, 30 Lafayette
place. New York
In the compass of small volume
the author gives spirited. and, con-
siderlng the space at his disposal,
pretty detailed sketch of the develop
ment of political ideas from Socrates
day to our own time The scholar tlnds
in these pages a remarkable clear di-
gest of the classic works Of the ancient
Greek philosophers upon the suhjeet Of
government; while the general reader
is enabled to trace distinctly the rise
ana progress ofthose principles of polit-
zeal science which, having been moro or
less fnlly apprehended by Plato. Aris-
totle, Dante, Machiavelll, Hobbies,
Locke. Rousseau. Burke, &C., in the
past, have had fuller exposition in
the works of contemporary phlloso-
pliers, and in the institutions of mod
ern states.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1883-03-23
The Other Side.

[The following from the Chicago
Tines of the 18th gives the other side
of the Southern California question.
POMONA, Los ANGELES Co., CAL,
March 12.-To THE EDITOR: So much
has been written of late about south,
ern California especially Los Angeles
and San Bemardino counties, the
greater part of which, from my ten
years residence here ] know to be the
worst kind Of hes by which many poor
men in the east have been tempted to
sacrifice their homes to come here and
be disappointed. and in many cases
completely runined, l wish to state a
few facts 1. As to government land,
there has been none with water on
open to preemtion for years, and..water
is needed here. not land. ?. At pres
ent all land with any water right is held
at exorbltant prices, unlmproved land
selling all the way from $50 to $3.50
per acre. ;. The class If emigrants
wanted here IS men worth from S. 5000
to $4,000, 900 and not afraid to spend
1t, because We live here on climate and
strangers, and the more money the
latter have the better the living 4.
The climate is very peculiar, no two
seasons being alike. The past year
was very cold, and all water-pipes
above ground have been frozen, and
many of them burst. Since Jan. I
nearly all the lime and lemon trees
have been killed, and in some place
the oranges were frozen solid on the
trees. s. How do the cold spells affect
people after a few yearse With my
self, and all l have asked about it
worse than IN the east; and l wear
warmer clothes here now than did IN
the east when the thermometer was be-
low zero. 6. Fruit here can not COM
pare with that in the east in quality
or price. saw apples last week in
Pomona offered for sale at two and a
half cents each that an eastern ma
would be ashamed to give to his dog
and look him in the face afterward. I.
Poor people are not wanted here, as
we have enough of them already, s.
Every place owned by parties who have
lived here over three years is for sale.
9. Our prospects for dry year are very
flattering. 10. If you are making a
living where you are stay right there
and you will never be sorry for it. II.
This country can turn out more good.
reliable liars to the square inch than
any other state can to the square inch
than any other state can to the square
mile. A. A. ID.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1883-03-23

The Brookfeld GazefN Of March "a
says: The public school exhibition last
Friday evening at the NJ. f. Church
was a very gratifying success. and re-
flected much credi. upon Professor
Cutlery, and his assistants in the scve-
raj departments of the public schools.
While all did well, some of the pupils
showed considerable natural talent,
and some careful training IN elocution.
The house was literally packed full
and the audience was both apprelatlve
and demonstrative The Professor an
nounced other entertainments to fol-
low hereafter, with the same object In
view-:he improvement of the pupils.
and the securing of a public school IL
brary.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1883-03-23
THE HIRED GIRL,
Seed Corn.

We notice in Missouri and Iowa ex-
changes that the subject of sound seed
com is being discussed and considered
as matter Of serious importance this
season. The Ottumwa Courier says
From all parts of the state comes
the complain: that bu: little Iowa
corn will germinate. Perhaps the early
plant, which was picked before the
heavy fall rains and hung up to dry,
may grow, but even this will stand ex-
animation. No time should be lost by
any farmer intending to raise a crop in
1883. in testing his seed corn by
sprouting it In many places farmers
are combining to send agents 10 Kan
sas and Nebraska to buy seed which
will grow beyond peradventure, and
the railroads are aiding with liber-
al facilities"
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1883-03-23
An Innovation.

1t will never do all. These irnova.
tions in politics will ,uin everything.
Just think of it for a moment. Out
there in Wyoming the women have a
vote just like the men, but they have
no aptitude for politics. Why, a COM
mon Irish laborer, Just over from the
could sod" would learn more of good
"old fashioned" ways ofpolitics in six
months than these women seem to
have learned in a life time. Speaking
of women rs voters and office holders
an observer out there says that: First
larger per centage of them go to the
polls and discharge their duty as cleo
tors, than do the mea. and second they
are less persistent office seekers, but
when elected to Office they have in
every case discharged the duties there
of efficiently. The same writer says in
some cases wives have voted one
ticket while the husbands, have voted
the opposite" Isn't this calculated to
get up divisions In families and de-
stroy the influence" of the head of the
houses OF course it it. Why at that
rate, mans own wife might vote
against him for constable, and then 60
out and celebrate his defeat. T'wont
do at all,
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1883-03-23
TRUSTEES SALE

| Whereas. John Short and f L. Short, his
| wife. by their certain Deed of Trust dated the
Goth day of February 1881, and recorded in
the Recorders office of Adair county at
Deed Book ~ Page 131, conveyed to the un-
! dersigned sheriff of Adair Co., all their right,
title, interest. and estate. in and to the fol-
| lowing described real estate situated IN the
count. of Adair, State of Missouri, viz:
Southwest quarter Uf the southeast quarter
ana the southeast quarter of the southwest
quarter of section twenty nine t29). and the
west half OF the neartheast quarter and the
east half Of the northwest quarter and the
west part of the east half Of the southwest
township sixty one 81 range sixteen, IL. con-
tanning three hundred and twenty acres more
or less. Which said conveyance was m ade in
trust to secure the payment of two certain
prOmissory notes in said deed described, and
whereas saidnStes have become due and re-
main unpaid by said John Short and whereas
W.L.Griggs and S.M.PIckler signed note first
coming due as securities ofJohn Short and
whereas the holder Of SAID note Mary A. Muy
ray and Robert Murray her husband, sued
and obtained judgement against W. L.
Griggs and s. NJ. Pickler for the amount OF
said note, interest and costs which the said w.
l.. Griggs and s. N. Pickler have paid Off
and discharged, and the said W. l.. Grigps
assy in "as.s ssir .,..s s1, al
said deed OF trust, by order and decree OF the cir
cult court of Adair county Missouri and su,horirnr
said said William L. Griggs and s: N. PickIer 10 pro-
seed with the collection said note and Interest
the same rs said Mary A. and Robert b. MurTny
Of trust. A ss-
Now. therefore. In accordance with said deed OF
Iast, and a. the request of W l.. Grigg- and s. NJ
fckier, the legal holders OF said note as rectted
ABOVE, ana also at the request Of III.
eRai holder of the said other note, 1
shall proceed TO sell the above tiescribed
real estate 1t the house door In the towr oT
hnksviiie In the county Of Adair, State Aforesaid
20 iae highest bidder for cash. public auction on
saturday the 9Th day ofAprfi. I8s3, between the
houfs Of nine la the forenoon end ave IN the afrer
noon OF that day, to satisfy said note And
expense of executing this trust
JOHN SHAVER. Sh~rin ana Trustee
Dated this 18th day of March, 1855
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1883-03-23
historical Chips.

The first American novel was by
Chas. Brockden Brown, in 1898.
The first American woman who de-
voted herself to authorship was Mrs.
Hannah Adams. I75s-IS23.
The first English grammar publish
ed was written in Latin by John Wal
lis, d D., I6I5-I7o3.
The first purely literary work pro-
duced in America was George Sandy's
who translated Ovid's Metamorphosis,
in 1921.
The printing of the first printed Bl.
BILE was finished in I455, by Gutten-
berg and Faust, the year Of the begin
nirg of the Wars OF Roses.
The first book printed in the Eng
lish language was "History of Troy"
printed iii Europe in 1874.
The first poems published in Amer
lea were by Anna Bradstreet. in 164o.
The fiist Bible printed in America
was Ellot's Indian version, 1850.
The first printing press in America
was at the house of Harvard College,
1637.-E..
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1883-03-23
Frsn Msrrsw 1'vwnshiy.
l,y our speclnl corresponlent.

4
have just been reading the bes: pa
per Of kirksville (tne ever welcome
GRApHrc) and think money spent for
your paper is not given away but every
one gets twice the reading from the
GRAPHIC that we do from either OF the
other county papers.
Roads are getting IN good condition.
Farmers have commenced work in
good faith hoping to harvest good
crops this year.
Joseph Vans,ckel, Sen. and P. Dore,
are fencing and clearing quite extern
sively. Elder Cain and son are prepar.
ing to fence large tract Of land for
Uncle John Shibley. it is part of the
Edward Weldon land.
l.. d Hiilyer is turning out lumber
for the farmers of this vicinity at the
rates Of several thousand feet per day.
He sawed one log that made a thou
sand feet of boards.
j. S. Hickman occupies his new
home, he purchased his late deceased
brothers farm.
Mrs. Braden bought the Bankey farm
near Shibley's Point and has lately
moved on the same.
John H. Ford has sold his farm and
will move to the Point 'ere long. He
talks of hunting another cline.
Mr.. Adrew Herriford we'll respect.
ed citizen passed from this land to
far better world this week. J.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1883-03-23
Troy Mills.
Graphic Correspondence.

I
Not seeing any communication in
your valuable paper for some time,
thought it well to drop You an item OF
two. We have had in our neighbor.
hood during the past winter a very
lively and interesting Literary society
known as the Perseverance Society
The society gave an entertainment week
ago last SATURDAY night, which closed
their regular session until the first
Saturday night in October next. The
following is the Program.
Grafton. Past, Present and Future.
Dialogue.-Mr. Jonas Jones.
Declamation.-Josh Billings on court
ship
Dialogue.-who ON earth is he!
Grafton True Greatness.
Dialogue.-Th ungratefuI little mig
ger.
Declamation.-Good Morning TO God.
Dialoeue.-The Enrolling Officer.
acknowledgements.
Dialogue.--How She Proposed.
DecIamatlon.-CanGy Pulling.
Select Reading.-''Sal and |"
Taoleau.-Cnaw Chaw.
Dialogue.-The Wonderful Telephone.
Declamatlop.-My Mothers Hands.
Dialogue. Pete and the Peddler.
Defamation. Political Stump Speech.
Dialoeue.-Sudden Recovery.
DialoRue-R. r. Catastrophe.
Paper.-Troy Mills Wide Awake.
Tableau An Old Time supper.
The program was we'll spiced with
music, both instrumental and vocal.
The instrumental music consisted of
an organ and two violins. Good hu-
NOR prevailed on all sides and without
doubt the winter OF 'S3 will leave a
a bright spot on memories wall to all
those who have attended their society
and entertainment.
Our school closed two weeks ago last
Saturday.
Mr.. Frank Amick has located his saw
mill about one and half miles south
west ofhere. Mr.. George Forrest has
some so or 80 thousand feet of lumber
to be sawed. He with number of 9TH
ers are prepared to furnish all kinds of
lumber at reasonable rates.
Mr.. VIM. Claypool who has been in
Kansas for the past three years is now
visiting his parents in this ne,ghbor-
hood.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1883-03-23
KlRKSvILLE MARKET REPORT
Corrected Carefully each Week up
to Thursday Morning.

APPLES-Green per bus 40 to soc,
BUTTER-per Id 19@2Oc,
BEANS-White l.75 TO 2.25 bu dnll
BUCKWHEAT FLOUR-4k to o5no,e
in market
CORN MEAL-per bu 60 to 20
CABBAGE-3 to Sc each
DRIED F,RulT-Arples 5 to 8; peaches
EGGS-Per doz. from 1215 firm
FLOUR-per sack. l.25 lao com:
choice l.50 to Les firm
BEESWAX- dark Ii, light 1Sc
HONEY 10 to 1919
LARD-121s
TALLOW-quiet at DC
SORGH L M--45 to 55c scarce
ONIONS-per Q bus IS to 100 scarce
POTATOES-75 to 80 and wanted
SWEET POTATOES None in market
POULTRY--chickens 200 to 800:
GAME-Out OF season
TURNIPS-15 to 2Oc per bus
PARSNIPS-50c
CHEESE county 121s to 15c.
.EAPLE SUGAR-12H.
HAY-Timothy 800 to 200. prairie
400 to 500
CATTLE-Cows Sc to 4. snip
steers 4.j0 to $50
HOGS 5.75 to 600
SHEEP-21s to3
CORN-45e to 80 for new
OATS-32c
Timothy Les to 1.:O;
RYE-45e
R X TIES-10 to 25c
HIDES-green &c, saited Z, dry Z
PELTS-according to wool, 25 to 5Occ
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1883-03-23

The North american Rerien for
April, the scriptural and the legal aspect
of Divorce are presented respectively
by the Rev. DIR. Theodore D. Woolssy.
we'll know for his lnsistance on the IN
dissolubility of the marriage tie, and
by Judge John A. Jameson, a jurlst
whose long experience with divorce
cases in Chicago. both on the judicial
bench and at the bar, lends TO his obser-
vations vely special value DR.. P.
Bender, a Canadian who has studied
to some purpose the political social and
economic conditions of his country,
under the title 4 Canadian view 1i
Annexation" makes a forcible presen-
tation of the reasons which incline
many citizens of the Dominion to re-.
gard with favor the idea Of absorption
by the United States. Senator John
\ Logan sets forth the needs wh,ch ex-
lists for National Aid to Public Schools
in the several states and territories.
The Rev. Dr. Howard Crosby writes of
The Dangerous Glasses that menance
the perpetuity OF evil order ana tn
peace of the community. meaning the
manipulatorS of corporation stocks and
the men, who, having anmassed enor
nous wealth, use it for neIarious pur-
loses. James c Yelling. President of
Columbian University, treats rliloso-
phic statesman, Of the presence in our
body polite ofa strong Negro Con:in-
gent. THE Water Supply of Cities is
discussed by Charles +. Wingate Eth
cal Systems by Prot. +. H. Hedge,
Street Begging" by Rev. DR.. Charles
F. Deems and Criticism and Christi.
anity' by o. B. Forthingham. Pub
iished at 30 Lafayette Place, New York
and for sale by book sellers generally.