The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-08-02
BREVlTY BASKET.
FILLED with Mention of Minor Events and
Funny Items.

FILLED With Mention OF Minor Events and
Funny Items.
No matter how hard il 10 to fad a rocking
chair during the day, man is sure to fall over
one when he is in search OF a match box after
dark.
The publisher Of medical journal wrote
for an appropriate type for the head Of his
paper. fhe typeiounder sent him skeleton
antique" at venture,
The Boston Courier gives the following
wise piece Of advice to its bachelor friends
"Never marry girl unless you have known
her at least three days and picnic"
My wiie's sister, outin Injanna, is dead. add
she's wearing mournin', and she thought it'd
be more appropriate like TO use black tea for
a while now.-[ Marathon Independent
:" lust my luck" moaned Philadelphia
man. " Here I've been paying heavy pre-
miums on life insurance policy for 20 years
and I'm not dead yet Philadelphia News.
A girl at Cape May playiully threw sand
into the eyes Of young man who scrutinized
her bathing attire too closely, and there is
danger that he will never look at anything
again.
A rascally baggage thief stole dudes
valise the other day and when he opened up
his plumber, he found IL linen collars, IL
pairs linen cuffs, one 1lunel shirt and one
pair Of socks.
Why wouldn't it be good plan to export a
load Of toy pistols 10 the cholera stricken
East2 In one months time the cholera
would have nothing to feed upon Boston
Transcript
The idea that "a man loses his dignity
when he has his hair close cropped is alb
surd. The man who orders his hair close
cropped never has any dignity. to lose.-
philadelphia News.
The independent damsels Of Athens, Ga,
formed "spinisters' club" which no man
was allowed to attend. Then bachelors
club YVES organized in selfdeiense, and at last
account they were holding joint sessions.
All the agony Of mind in this weary world,
boiled down, condensed and concentrated on
one young man, won't make him feel as bad
as the discovery of the fact that she whom he
truly, mady loved is bow-legged.- Pittsburg
Telegraph.
1t is reported that Mr.. Gould and Mr.
Eckert have had a falling out and that the
latter has been dubbed ''knave and a fool"
by the great stock waterer Under the cir
cumstances Mr.. Eckert should retalia'e by
demanding less work and more pay.
"Were you in the late ?" asked a
veteran of a badly demoralized citizen, who
came hobbing down the street on crutch.
81 don't know how late you mean" was the
sad reply; 'she gave me this one last night
before tea Burlington Free Press.
A western coroner's jury sat on body Of
a horse thief found hanging to tree, and
brought in a verdict Of changed by parties
unknown to the public" 1t will be observed
that the usual wording, unknown to the
jury" was not used on this occasion. -Phila-
delphia News
wealthy old gentleman was called upon
for a charitable contribution: "Confound
it," he replied irascibly, "my hand is never
out Of my pocket with you all !" al know
it," responded the applicant, humbly, "but
cannot you make an exception in this case and
take it out g'
MAY have the honor to conduct your
daughter to the supper table ?" asked a So
ciety gentleman of a lady from the country,
who is staying with some friends whom she
is visiting here in Austin. "May you take
her to supper ?" was the response, ''why, OF
course, and you can take me too. That's
what we came here ior.'
The manageable young ladies' of Logans-
port recently held convention, and among
the resolutions passed is the following
THAT we will marry no young man who is
not patron Of his home newspaper, for it is
not only strong evidence of want Of intelli-
gence, but that he will prove too stingy to
provide for family, educate his children, or
encourage the Institution OF learning in his
community.-GJasper Times.
When the papers are hard driven they begin
to accuse the President, Cabinet, officers aud
governors Of ''junkeiing Why don't they
pitch into the British and Hayden ambassa-
doris for indulgence in the summer sprawl?
Now they have it that Governor Cleveland is
unketing and President Arthur is about to
junket, and the United States, Of course, is
going to-IlalfaH! What nonsense? The
only point where the shoe pinches in reality
is that the GROWERS can't 'junket' also.
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