The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-04-26
PTTH AND pOrvT.

"A great modiste issued the follow,
ing directions for wearing o new style
of head-gear: "With this bonnet the
mouth is worn slightly open"
"A writer on subjects of science says
that as fertilizer an inch of bone Is
worth an inch of roses. One shad ought
. produce q mile of bloom.-N.' Y.
Herald. .s--.a.-~
"A Hartford architect says "the best
fre-escape is a cool head" We'd like
to see that architect letting himself
down from o sixth story window on
cool head.-BoSton Post.
-"Otway, dramatic poet of the
first -class;4s perished with hunger"
What became of the third class poets In
Otway's day is not stated, but they
were probably fired from o mortar
against O. stone wall.--Norristown
Herald. ST..
"A seYen-year-olde with the pun
ster's mark on his brow, at dinner,
asked his mother what was In q jar on
the table. "Piokles, my SON." was the
reply. "Then, mamma, please pickle
little one out for me-" "came with stun
ming force from the child, and the
mother fell over o chair and tainted
Detroit Free Press. .~
If you want to find o logician, 90
to your tailor. The other day one Of
these fractions of the human family was
overheard to remark: ~ never ask q
gentleman for money" "But suppose
he doesn't pay you thenP" We'll, il he
doesn't pay mo within o reasonable
time, conclude he Is not q gentleman
and then ask him. ."-1he Judge.
"A man drank some Bowery whisky
In New York last week, and turned in
eight fire alarms before he recovered.
In one fire-box he left o note asking the
tlre department to, put out the comet.
No villain could have successfully
played it on our firemen. Not because
our police are too vigilant to allow it,
but simply because Laramie has no fire
alarm boxes.-Laran,te Boomerang.
-"How can leave you, my darlingP"
murmured Toledo lover in tones of
distressing tenderness, as he observed
both hands of tho clock approach a per-
pendicular on the dial. 'Well, john"
responded the girl with wicked inno-
cence, ''you can take your choice. If
you go through the hall you will be
liable to wake up father, and if you
leave by way of the back shed you'll be
likely to wake up the dog ."-Erchange.
"A Chicago paper says that printer
In that city has been cured by prayer.
1t docs not say what the printer was
cured of. If he was cured Of extracting
the word in paragraph on which
Joke hinges, and substitu(Sg word of
his own "tc make sense" as he puts it,
we will indorse the prayer cure, and
give it q tive-inch electro ad. free, one
year, top column, next to reading mat
tor. All omissions and wrong insertions
to be made good at end of CONTRACT
Texas SVIings.
The only way to deal with O Liar is
to beat him at his own game. What
started this item was reading about an
American who had been to Europe, and
who was telling friend who knew he was
liar, about his trip across the Atlantic,
and how, on the 25th of the month,
they encountered swarm of locusts.
and the locusts carried every stitch Of
canvas off the ship" The listener
| looked thougbtfullY moment, and then
he said hesitatingly: eyes; L guess We
met the same swarm of locusts the next
day, the Goth. Every locust had on 9
pair of canvas pants" The first liar
went around the corner and kicked him.
aelf.-Peck'S Sup.