Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-22
Searching the Scriptures,

work any better. ''Say, my dear, do
you know where to find that text, For
the unbelieving husband is sanctifed in
the wife,
''In Exodus, isn't it?'' replied Mr..
Spoopendyke. sit sounds like Exodus
Where the Bible?''
Il was looking for it to-day" return
ed Mrs. Spoopendyke, getting up and
preparing for another search. II don't
think it is in Exodus, because it sounds
more like Paul. [ think some one must
have stolen the Bible, for / haven't
seen it since we came from the coun-
| try"
That's kind of curious soliloquiz-
ed Mr.. SpOopendyke, arousing himself
to assist in the investigation. Il don't
know who would want to steal Bible.
Don't you remember where you put it?
Think it's in here?" and Mr. Spoopen-
dyke upset the bandbox containing his
wife's new hat, and then made a lunge
| for the fancy coal scuttle behind the
stove. "You had it last, what did you
do with it?''
cit wouldn't be apt to get in there,
would it?' suggested Mr.. Spoopendyke,
trying to divert her husbands atten-
ton by rafting the vases on the bu-
reau.
IF it's the orthodox Bible, it's liable
| to penetrate anywhere and every
where" retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke,
| abandoning the coal scuttle and making
a dive for the button bag. 'sStrikes me
that Bible is keeping pretty quiet for the
Word" he ruminated as he tipped the
buttons out on the floor, and darted
across the room to try the bureau
| drawers. ''Be in fine fix if minister
should happen to drop in now and ask
for family worship. Have to tell him to
90 on his recollection or start new
theory of his own" and Mr.. SpOopen-
| dyke pulled the shams off the bed and
then got down on his hands and knees
to look under it. ''Tll bet a hat it's
where / said it was"
''Where's that, dear?" asked Mrs.
| Spoopendyke, Supposing he had found
I'm Exodus" snorted Mr.. Spoopen-
| dyke, wiping the ornaments off the
mantel piece and looking behind the
clock. Cant you remember what [
say from one moment to another? If
| you had any memory, with your habits
/ VI S1SoooIllSeblIOI1, y Otl u OI1t ICCo ullC
! coat of arms of all nations and a little
more incoherence to make first rate
dictionary! [ don't know, though, "
continued Mr.. Spoopendyke, ruminat-
| ing on this proposition while he tore
the things out of the wardrobe. 81
| don't know but what you would have
to get new binding and have your
sides marbelized. You don't suppose
that Bible got lonely and went off
| into the country on its own hook, do
you?"
I'm sure [ don't know" murmured
Mrs. Spoopendyke. Il can't imagine
it would do a thing like that. II think
it's only mislaid. Well find it."
''Well, | should remark" replied
| Mr.. Spoopendyke, without meaning the
slightest irreverence There may be
only one small fish or crust of the
bread left, but We'll find what there is
before we 90 to bed! Unless that Bibles
| gone to get itself revised there'll be no
sleep in the Spoopendyke apartments
until we lay our hands lovingly on that
| dear old family Bible! Maybe it's hid
under bushel!" and he capsized the
waste paper basket and scattered the
! contents over the room.
Il don't know but what it is in Exc
dus," said Mrs. Spoopendyke, with her
| finger in her mouth. Now | come to
think it over m sure it's in Exodus,
SO you needn't look for it any more. "
Il know it's in Exodus" said Mr.
SpOopendyke. kicking his wife's work
basket across the floor and turning the
| contents over with the toe of his boot
But I'm going to find out which end
OF Exodus it IS in before | go to bust
ness again How do you suppose any
| ones to know when we were married
| or when the baby was born or when we
| died if we don t find that Bible? Think
I'm going through life without q Bible
to refer to when I'm lonely and de-
Ipressed? Got some kind of notion be-
cause I'm good and pious that religion
comes natural to me, haven't ye? Well
| it don't. I've got to keep posted just
as well as any one else! Where's that
Bible?" demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke,
rising in wrath as the book seemed to
evade his search. ''Whats become of
the pious injunctions of my youth?
How m | going to be able to tell Solo
unless | have the book before me?
| w mere , ulN hdCCdDtcS tuu LILY Z6tC-
cheus? Where are the friends of my
| boyhood?" and Mr.. SpQopendyke
Strengthened up in the middle of the
room and glared at his wife as though
she had inflicted on him mortal in
| jury.
They've been dead some time, re-
piled Mrs. Spoopendyke, who always
took everything literally. Anyway,
you don't care about them tonight"
land my Abraham begat Isaac, and
Isaac begat Jacob, and Jacob begat
Judah and his brethren! Where are
they? Suppose some fellow asks me
tomorrow who JUDAH brethren begat,
what am to say? What're We stand
ing there for, looking like hole in
the fence for? Think that helps you
any?"
Say, dear" commenced Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. Don't you remember the
night you and Mr.. Specklewottle got