Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1883-02-19
A wOMAkLkss REAiM.
r. DOMAINS Dakota Territory
Valentino,
FASoo, DAKOTA. February 8.

was four thousand years ago, when b,
induced Colonel Samson. the grea
original lion splitter and Congressiona
jswbone sFinser, to lay his wool anS
his glory in tho lap Of a half negr'
Delilab. He is q more resistless mora
twister and common senae smasher il
this hundred and sixth year of Yankee
Doodle than when he made David
the man after his own heart, Nor,
mon aud assassin. He is a more
egregious ninny breeder now thar
when he led all Homer's heroes on
that wild Grecian bender after the
Elizabeth Tilton of the Trojan era.
He is more ineffable idiot manu-,
facturer this moment than when
twenty centuries agone, he wheedled
Mark Antony-the father of Susan
B., who spells it with an "h"--intC
oasting aside the scepter Of the world
for happy pated Egyptian mulattress
He is more uncOnscionable heather
amid all our nineteenth century blaze
of gospel light aud liberty than when
he and his scanty skirted mamma
Mrs. Venus. led the pagan orgies OIL
Athenian damsels beneath the shade
of ancient olive groves. He is crea-
tons marriott, dignity dethroDer
reasons upsetter aud scoffer
Fang OF hydrophebic cur never
punched as many madcap fancies into
its victims carcass, as the slightest
craze of his tiny molasses candy shafts
AGED senators, slightly stricken, oil
their rusty joints and caper around
inhntile treasury-clerknesses, like
hand. organ monkeys with ringWOl ms
N their Darwinian countensnces
Old women, toothless aud shrivsled,
touched by the pestiferous little
archer who turks in rosebuds and
cabbsge.hesds, plaster their grave
yard countenances with enamels and
paints enough to gorge a camp OF
AlckapOO squaws, swing gawds and
gew-gaws t. every available protub-
erance, pile on sweet sixteen toggery,
and sniirk and giggle in a style that
would drive whole Bedlam of Ordi
nary lunatics TO suicide. Seventy
year-old Christiancys go spoOneying
after sixteen yearling girl clerks,
queenlS widow Hickes clone with
octagenarian Tom Lords and lirt with
antediluvisn 0'Connors. and she
Methuselahs, like Burdette Coutts
surrender FIVE hundred thousand dol
lars a year for the pleasure OF calling
a laoldaisical lily boy Bartlett, hub
by"
The bigger the folly the surer the
stroke No man was ever truly ia love
who did not make an ass of himself,
and the longer the ears the purer the
dame. No woman ever loved who was
not prepared to discount a whole
as.sillysum Of man iacs at a moments
notice. No freak is too wild nc vagary
too monstroUs Eagles mate with
moles. and swans with hedgehogs. Ton
Thumbs pine for she>GOliaths. Sons
Of Anak wed hupan humming. birds
Mighty Drained heroes rave over inane
little butterflies, penny wax dolls,
taffy-faced pigmies. Kings bow down
to ballet dancers, aud queens take
refuge in the arms of cooks and coach
men. Aud in all lands and climes. 10
every condition and estate, the Cupid
wounded costing and goslingssG have q
hard real to travel to a paradise o.
squach-an imaginary elysium, whose
roses are too often rue.
All masculinity is doomed, sooner
Eor lateP,tO be smitten, punctured, har-
pOoned; aud, sheltered beneath the
mantle or Wings-whichever be wears
of swift-coming St. Valentine, |
wish to tell all Womankind, strictly
eon6dentiAlly, that nowhere on earth
is that shifting, puncturing and har.
booning 50 easily done-nowhere
beneath the saphireau dnme Of
heaven does Cupid, the Lilliputian
gzzaTd piercer, come so nesr having,
like Death, all seasons for his own
nowhere 10 all the grand round of the
sun and moon and peeping stars are
the victims SO plentiful and so readily
catchable, crazable and smashable-as
10 these vast, imperial regions Of the
new Northwest, the womauless won
deFland OF the world.
Girls Of America, look at Dakota.
With four aud half men aud boys to
every woman and girl. Thousands OF
ycupg aud enterprising men, bonanza
larmsrs aud miners. raisers of gold
and golden grain. bankers, merchants,
town site proprietors and boomers,
mining engineers and experts, lawyers.
doctors, ranehmen, army officers and
millionaire editors, coming Congress,
men, Governors, Senators aud oonsta
bles Of the proud, soon-tO.be-double
headed giantess OF the Union sister
hood, all dying to be struck with lew.
eled shafts, rendering even the misery
OF it delicious. Thousands on thous-
ands Of young men Of noble heart and
brain and hraWn, too brave and tender
and true to be wasted, all signing and
longing TO be heart spitted, gigged like
sentimental aounders-and not ono
marriageable girl TO every half hun.
dred OF theml Nearly every town in
this greatest and grandest Of the ter.
ritories is 10 the same deplorable fix,
counting her giFls 0Ve7 every night
as carefully as her ohiokeng or her
Spoons, and never able, by any
arithmetic. to scare more than
one to every fifty fellows. Think Of a
single missionary in Manitoba with
eight hundred bachelors under his
charge, and not ono weddable girl OF
gushing widow.
Girls Of the woman crowded, old
maid-iccumulating older States, here
Is the field for you: here YOU are
needed; here you are at a premium,
here you are sure Of dozen husbands
apiece, if you want them. Here e sn
empire, stretching three thousand
miles to tho north and west, down the
Saskatchewan and across the mighty
Rockies TO the golden slopes OF the
Racihc-an empire vaster and Qrander
mnYa lartila and ha.,.se,t - II -