Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1883-08-08
Not a Success.

Dear me- said Mrs. Heatherly,
some folks do have all the luck
thought when my Cousin Speakwell
was appointed assistant bishop of the
Cranberry Swamp diocese, that it was
quite a social distinction. But here's
Helen Jones'S uncle been put up for
Chinese ambassador! And l suppose
she'll get all her tea and chessmen fol-
nothing now, besides the credit of the
tbingn
And Mrs. Heatberley actually burst
into tears.
From the very first moment OF her
arrival in Cherry bill, Mrs. Jones had
had been her rival. If she decorated
her parlors IN lotus-leaves and cat-talls,
Mrs. Jones Immediately ordered an
artist from Philadelphia TO paint her
ceilings in peacock-plumes and half
open suufower buds. If sic gave a
light tea, Mrs. Jones followed with a
full.fedgsd diuner party. If she had a
fancy masquerade-party, Mrs. Jones
issued cards for private theatrlcals'
And now the glories of the assistant
bisboprc were entirely eclipsed by the
ambassador to China.
Mrs, Joues ordered her white ponies
and basket-phaq ton, and drove In state
through Cherry hill, to invite all her
friends and acquaintances to an even
Ing reception.
To meet my uncle she said, gra"
ciously, before be sails for China! y
For Mrs. Jones, albeit she never bad
seen her Uncle John Jones, was seiz'
ed, all OF a sudden, with the most af'ec-
tionate devotion for him, and tele
graphed him 10 come at once 10 Cherry
hill. And the letter which followed
was full OF nice-lke devotion.
81 have always felt" she said, 'thst it was q
cruel deprivation TO see 80 little Of my husbands
relations. And now that we are go soon to lose
you, must insist on at least one visit. We have
some charming people in Cherry hill, who would
esteem 1t privilege to make your acquaintance.
We shall meet you, without fail. at the six-forty
train from Philadelphia, on Wednesday next"
Mr.. Jones, a blunt. bullet-headed
man, who was in the drug business,
scratched his nose when be heard OF
his wiCe's prowess.
It's all a puzzle TO me- said he.
Uncle John never had any brains.'
Dear me!' said Mrs. Jones, what
brains are needed to be q Chinese am
bassador? It's all political influence
and wire pulling, don't you seef'
WELL said Mrs. Jones, there's
something in that. remember Uncle
John being president of Polk and
Dallas club, forty years ago, or so,in the
village. And be manufactured torch
lights for the political professions, and
had very good voice for hurrah.
What puzzles me, however, is what on
earth be will think OF our getting so
very affectIonate all Of a sudden, after
neglectiDg him for all these years.
No matter what be thinks said
Mrs. Jones, briskly. 'I'll soon bring
him around. Only thlnk-ambassador
10 China! What will Mrs. Heatherley
say9 You must telegraph at once for
plenty of pates de foie gras and cold,
potted game. And III have the two
colored walters from the hotel. Mary
Ann is very well in her way, but she
will need additional help on an occasion
like this. l shall ask Ex-Governor
PLihpstarbaugh and his wife they are
visiting the Whites; and an especial
card shall be sent to that stupid, old
assistant bishop that Charlotte Heath
erly boasts so much aboat. MIR. Chime
field, the poet, is in town also, and l
shall beg Miss Burkley 10 bring her
violin and give US one Of those sweet
Scandinavian Dreams that she i'm
provises so sweetly. Let me see, there
will be about sixty people here, unless
l receive more regrets than l at present
anticipate
Sixty people, eh?' repeated Mr..
Jones. 'Ain't that considerable OF
blowout, Fanny? We haven't settled
Spagpette's bill for that last tea-hgbt,
you must remember
'Tea-nght! Blow-outp Mrs. Jones
repeated, in infinite disgust. Peter,
| haven't any patience to hear you use
those odious, vulgar expressions. How
are Ethel and Constantia TO get mali
ried, I'd like to know, If the dear girls
never are TO see any society," Are the
ponies ready?'
You can't have the ponies to-day
said Mr.. Jones. The liyery-stable
man says they didn't stir out Of their
stalls until the whole account is settled
three hundred and odd dollars
How absurd Of him y said Mrs.
Jones. with q shrug Of her plump shoul-