Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-04-26
LIFE IN TENNESSEE.
A Sample Colonel and His Righteous
Indignation.

Not long since a drummer who was de-
| talned for few days in the town of Lebanon
Tenn, gave us an account of how he amused
himself while he was there. The lock of his
grlpsack needed repairs, and he took it to a
gunsmlth to have it repaired. The drum
mer was sitting behind the counter, when a
leading citizen entered with gun, which he
threw down ON the counter with great in
dignation.
What do you mean by giving me this
kind OF gun when | 60 out for little
shooting?" demanded the leading citizen.
why, Colonel, that gun is the newest
patent breech- loader" replied the gunsmith.
"Then your powder is no account"
Colonel, l loaded that gun myself, and l
put in the best powder in the shop"
"Well, all I know is had to shoot twice
at Major McPelter before he keeled over.
That's the only time I've failed to bring my
man down with the first barrel killed my
brother-in-law, Judge Smith, and his nephew,
Sam Randle, at one shot at seventy-tive
yards, and neither of 'em kicked, and only
three days ago 1 dropped a book agent in
his tracks. There must be something wrong
about that gun. feel the disgrace keenly OF
having to shoot twice at one man."
II don't understand it," replied the gum
maker, meditatively, as he examined the
weapon. Its the same gun Bob White
plugged the city marshal with last week, and
Bob is not much of a shot He hadn't shot
a man for six weeks before that, and was out
of practice, but he fetched his man all the
same.
II don't think you put in enough
powder. When I 60 to the inquest, which will
be in half an hour" said the Colonel, looking
at his watch, I'll count the bullet holes in
the Majors body. am sure hit him the
first shot, but I think there wasn't powder
enough in the gun to drive the bullets
through his body"
Il wish you would count the bullet holes,
because, you see, Colonel, you are known as
a good shot, and it will be like reflection on
me and my guns. 1t is well caculated to in
jure me with my customers, who are the best
people in the town. | tell you what 1 wish
you would do. Colouel. | wish you would
give this gun another trial"
The Colonel rubbed his chin and replied
Il would like to do it for my satisfaction,
but l can't remember just now of anybody
having insulting me lately. l haven't got a
living man to shoot. Maj McPelter was the
last man upon the list. l wish somebody
would dispute my word. Perhaps you feel
LOuCucu ny SOLuctuluS Ludy udFc SdlO.
"Oh, no, Colonel, you are right about the
gun," responded the gunsmith.
Il thought. perhaps, you found something
personal in my remarks about the gun
Not a bit of it."
Then perhaps you have some enemy who
has been exasperating you. If So" said the
Colonel, putting cartridge in the gun, Il
will try the gun before | 90 TO the inquest"
The gunsmith pondered over the PROPOSE
ton and finally said:
l wish l hadn't shot the rival gunsmith
over the way day before yesterday. He
would have come in handy now if he hadn't
died, poor fellow, just when he did ! might
insult Bill Tompkins and shoot him, but he
gets his ammunition here, and always pays for
it, so it don't look quite right to shoot him
finland"
The two men were very much puzzled
how to find the victim. They suggested
several names, but there seemed to be some
reason why each and every one Of them
should not be sacrificed. All at once the
drummer saw the gunsmith wink at the
Colonel, and point with his thumb behind
the counter in his direction. Before the Col
Dnel could catch on, the terrified drummer
slid out through the side door, andmade good
his escape.