The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-10-10

when sat down on the fence to sorape
the mud off my Sunday pants the
deacon yelled like he does in the revi-
val, only he said, Come, come, pro-
crastination is the thief of time You
get up and hump yourself and go and
feed the pigs He was so blame mean
that l could not help throwing burr
dock bur against the side of the COW
he was milking, and it struck her right
in the flank on the other side from
where the deacon was. Well, you'd a
dide to see the COW jump up and blat.
All four of her feet were off the
ground at a time, and L guess most
of them hit the deacon on his Sun
day vest, and the rest hit the milk
pail and the COW backed against the
fence and bellered, and the deacon was
all covered with milk and cow hair,
and he got up and throwed the three
legged stool at the cow and hit her on
the horn, and it glanced off and hit me
on the pants just as 1 went over the
fence to feed the pigs. L didn't know
a deacon could talk so sassy at COW
and come so near swearing without
actually saying cuss words. Well, 1
lugged swill until l was homesick to
my stomach, and then 1 had to clean off
horses and go to the neighbors about
a mile away to borrow lot of rakes
to use the next day. 1 was so tired 1
almost cried, and then had to draw
two barrels Of water with a well
bucket to cleanse for washing the next
day, and by that time wanted to die.
1t was most 9 o'clock, and began to
think about supper, when the deacon
said all they had was bread and milk
for supper Sunday night and I
rasseled with tin basin of SKIM
milk and some old back number
bread, and wanted to go to bed, but
the deacon wanted to know If was
heather enough to want to go to bed
without evening prayers. There was
one thing was less mashed on than
evening prayers about that minute,
but had to take prayer half a hour
long on top of that skim-milk, and 1
guess it curdled the milk, for l hadn't
been in bed more than half a hour be-
fore had the worst collie boy ever
had, and L thought 1 should die all
alone up in that garret, on the floor,
with nothing to make my last hours
pleasant but some rats playing With
ears of seed corn on the floor, and mice
running through some dry pea pods.
But, oh, how different the deacon
talked in the evening devotions from
what he did when the cow was gallop-
ing on him in the barn yard. Well, L
got through the collie and was just get
ting to sleep when the deacon yelled
for me TO get up and hustle down.
stairs. l thought maybe the house
and got into my trousers and came
downstairs on a jump, yelling fire
when the deacon grabbed me and told
me to get down on my knees, and be-
fore l knew it he was into the morn
ing devotions, and then he said amen
and jumped up and said for us to fire
breakfast into us quick and get to work
doing the chores. L looked at the clock
and it was just o'clock in the
morning, just the time pa comes home
and goes to bed in town, when he is
running a political campaign. Well,
sir, had to jump from one thing to
another from o'clock in the morning
till nine at night, pitching hay, driving
reaper, raking and binding, shocking
wheat, hOeing corn, and everything,
and 1 never got a kind word. Ispoiled
my clothes, and think another week
would make pirate of me.
"Now, you take these cabbages and
give me ninety cents, and 1 will go
home and borrow ten cents to make
up the dollar, and send my chum back
with the horse and wagon and my
resignation. 1 was not cut out for
farmer. Talk about fishing, the only
fish l saw was a salt white fish we had
for breakfast one morning, which was
salted by Noah, in the ark" and while
the grocery man was unloading the
cabbages the boy went out to look for
his chum, and later the two boys were
seen driving off toward the farm with
two lish-poles sticking out Of the hind
end of the wagon.-Peck'S Sun.