The Evening critic., 1883-04-25

By my style you know my name;
dress In a manner almost nude,
And travel on cheek In llou OF brains.
-:o.--
That there is no good blood existing be-
tween the State and War Department
clerks, is we'll known to almost everyone.
The Departments young g-man, as
general thing, is highly aesthetic, trine
peacockish, and altogether high flyer,
and will not associate with clerks Of tho
War Department.
A State and War clerk did meet, how
ever, the other evening, and the meeting
will be long remembered by both. 1t was
over green baize table. young gentle
man living in the West End invited num-
ber of his friends to a little symposium at
his room, for the purpose of having quiet
little game of-of cribbage.
In the course of the evening the betting
got to be very exciting, the War Depart
ment man being a big winner, while luck
seemed to be decidedly against the State man.
Presently the latter became excited and
broke out in n torrent of abuse of the for
mer, alleging that he had been cheating
High and angry words seemed to be the
order of the evening between the two, when
finally the host said
Gentlemen, if you cannot adjust your
troubles in any other way, you can fight it
THAT suits me- said the War clerk.
"Aud me, too,' answered the other.
Coats were taken off and tho parties be-
gan the action. Tho State man got in the
first blow on the body of his adversary,
then the two rushed at each other and be-
gan regular rough-and-tumble fight, but
they were separated and made to stand up
and fight it out according to the rules of
the prize ring. This appeared to be salts.
factory to the men, who by this time were
considerably excited.
Time was called, and the War clerk lit
off with terrific blow on the nose of his
opponent, causing the claret to flow freely.
The lighting, at tnis point, began in dead
| earnest, both men standing up to the
scratch and doing their level-best. They
had probably fought about ten minutes,
when they were allowed to take q breath
ing spell in which to cool of.
The host, who acted as referee, asked til c
men if they would be satisfied to fight one
more round of seven minutes and then
quit This was agreed to, aud after short
rest the men were ordered to toe the
scratch.
81 will finish the confounded plebeian
this time remarked the State man as he
took his position.
"All right, we will see," was the rctort.
Ready, gentlemen p
Ready"
Ready"
In less than second the War clerk
planted blow under the chin of his op-
ponent, who fell curled up on the bed OF
the host. He arose, apparently in half
fainting condition. aud being asked ii he
had enough, said no. His face was wiped
off with towel, and after glaring ferocious-
ly at his adversary for moment,
rushed in with head down and be-
gan to fight trough d-tumble" again.
| Pretty soon the War clerk freed himself,
| and drawing back struck the aesthetic young
man between the eyes and sent him to the
| floor sadder but wiser man. Between
sobs he said he had quite enough, and felt
satisfied that the "plebeiau" was the better
man.
Although the fight took place more than
ten days ago the State Department man has
not shown up at his Office since
"The Republican party is weaker in
| Maryland to-day than at any other time,
Notwithstanding all the party putting
through the columns of the Republican,, :,
said Baltimore man to the Critic yester-
| day.
"Wby, how is that ?" inquired the Critic
| "Well, the old Republicans are disgusted
at the manner in which the Federal of
ficers are parceledout there. Webster, the
| Collector of the Port of Baltimore, swung
around the circle with Andy johnson and
has been kicker ever since, until re-
warded with the best office in the State
over the heads of those who had kept the
| faith
SIS he Baltimorean p
No; he is from Bel Air. He is
president of bank there; and by the
way, he is absent from his Office in Balti
more every Monday to attend to his private
business-meeting of the bank directors
That is just fifty-two days in the year, moi
counting holidays, and at S20.93 per day
1t should be called swindling the Govern
ment."
Did he make any changes when he
went in %
"Yes; he has made sixty-four dismissall
since he has been in office, the most of then
ex-Union soldiers and sailors. The ColeGto
of Internal Revenue is a bitter ex-Confed
erate-a sort of informer-who recently
turned Republican to get office. His naml
is Irving Ditty."
$50, then, the old regulars are mad p
"Mad Well, should say 50. They viii
be heard from at the next election, and th,
scheme Of boosting Mr.. j. A. j. Creswel
into the United States Senate will fail. Hi
henchmen webster and Ditty) have killed
the Republican party in Baltimore as deal
as Julius Caesar"
-:O:-
81 want you to go to my room to-nigh
and complete that work, damn it," re
marked well-known Republican Mem
ber one day during the first session of tn
last Congress, as he stood at the corner G
Fifteenth and f streets northwest Hi
commanding words were directed to
good-looking, intelligent gentleman, prot
ably thirty years of age. The Member wa
scarcely forty. AS the law-maker hurrie,
| nm nm the street the pentleman ne I'm,