Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1883-10-17
WHOLE NO. 1,415.
The Deacon's Grab Bag.
THE BAD BOY AGAIN CARRIES CONsTER
NATION INTO THE CHURCH

What about that fuss at the social
at the deacon's night before last ~
asked the groceryman. 81 heard the
whole church was mad at each other
over grabbing, and the presiding
elder had all he could do to quiet
things down"
That don't amount to much" re-
piled the boy. There's ALWAYS soma.
thing turns up when the sociable sea
son first starts in. You see ma was an
pointed committee to fix up IL grab
Dag. Me and my chum were digging
Dalt that morning to go fishing. When
we got done | come in and found ma
had finished the grab-bag. and had II
all loaded, with the top fastened with
a puckering string and hung ON the
back of chair. Ma was nm stairs
getting her Sunday clothes on. to 90 to
the soclable, so it didn't take me and
my chum long to empty the bag and
get lrst choice. Then got our mouse
trap and took it to the barn. and
caught two nice big fat mice and put
EN- IN cOllar-bOX with holes cut in
II, TO give EN- air, and dropped that in
the bag. Then my chum remembered
swapping turtle he had in the swill
barre! me and him got that and wipcd
1t as dry as we could, and tied it ali mn
put It's mead. and put that in Just as the
deacon's hired man came to take the
bag over to the sociablc.
Me and my chum went Down to
MS house and waited till the people cot
over to the sociable. and then we vent
over and got up in II tree. where we
could see through the open window
ana hear all that was going on. PA.
ne stood over by the bag and shouted
len cents grab; don't let ANYBODY
be backward i'll Il good cause Three
or four had put up their ten cents and
made IL grab when an old maid from
| Oshkosh, who had been to the sDrinps
Tor Mysteries, got in her work ON the
! collar-box. When she got the cover
OF, one of the mice that knew his bust
ness jumped ON. her shoulder and
craWled down her neck. and the other
! dropped down on the floor and started
around to meet the other one. You'd
a dlde to seen her flop and show her
stocking and scream. The deacon's
iolks thought it was another attack of
mysteries and pa and the deacon got
her on the sofa and held her. while
they poured paregoric and CAYENNE
pepper down her, when She screamed
all the harder. Then one Of the other
women see the mouse and cot up IN a
chair and shook her skirts and asked
the new young minister to HELM her
catch the mouse The poor fellow
looked as though he would like to. but
he failed. Just then the bottom of the
chair broke and let her fall over on
ma and and tore her bangs and hair
doWh. Ma called her hateful thing
ana told her she ought to be ashamed
OF herself. Finally they got things in
Ill order, but no one wanted to tackle
the bag, and as here was where the
! profits come in, pa braced up and said
ned like to see a grabbing that would
give him the Mysteries, and said
women are always gettin' scared AT
nothin'. He then put down 10 cents
and damned his hand way down i'm the
bottom OF the bag. He didn't keep it
there long. He give a Jump and
yanked his hand out, yelling 'thun-
del" Then he swung it over his head
to shake it off and brought it down on
the deacon's head and smashed his
specs. Then he swung it the other way
and struck the woman president of the
sewing society in the stomach and
knocked her down in the deacons lap.
After pa had hOllered himself hoarse
and thumped half the people in the
room, the turtle let go and pa said he
could lick the man that put that steel
trap in the grab-bag.' Then pa and
ma got mad and everybody began to
jaw and they all went home. There's
been sort of coldness among the
members ever since"