The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1883-03-22

hhe Is maze attractive tC thiS lmpOr-
tant branch of the community.
The proper pla for the conductor is
in the baggage car, for there he can
smoke and sleep unmolested by in9uir-
ing minds who want to know, You
know. From that vantage ground, also,
he can see the engineer Jump, in the
event OF an ac ident, and understand
what it is best TO do in order that he
may get out speedily and assure the
press that nothing has occurred, and
that the people in the burning ca didn't
travel on that train. The killing of n
conductor puts road in q hole. The
impulse is to advertise the line by Civ
ing him send-off, but that is an adj
mission that there was an accident,
and, therefore, the conductor should
take care of himself, rather than sub
ject his employers to amy such incon-
venience
1t is well for the conductor to have
favorites among his regular passengers.
These should be selected with discrimi-
nation from among the smok ng and
flask-carrying traveller. Familiarity
with them pays, for they will applaud
anything the conductor does. and feed
him from their store whenever he has
added to their Importance by cutting
down some man who has only the merit
of regarding f,lnctionary as public
servant.
Along the line of every road are coun
try girls who properly think that to
know the conductor is to approach the
kingdom of bliss The conduc or should
make it point to hand them on the
train with some familiarity that shall
establish his relations with them from
the start, and then should sit beside
them, with an arm carelessly thrown
across the back of the seat, and giggle
and laugh with them until they have at
tracted the attention of the whole car.
This adds to the importance OF the girl,
and makes every other woman sigh rs
she contemplates the young lady's hap
piness
If man lose his ticket, bounce him.
No matter that he saw it d moment be-
fore. No matter if you see it lying un-
der the seat, bounce him. There is never
atime when an oiiic al looks so dignitied
as when he is employing force to sus-
tain his dignity. If by any chance tho
man find his ticket before he is bounced,
bounce him anyway. He has no right
10 waste the valuable time OF a conduct
or by making him think that he is going
to have the fun Of bounce, and then
go back on him.
If you find by the ticket that pas
senger is ON the wrong road, tell him So
and then pass on without any further
explanation. 1t will put him in frame
OF mind until he can hunt you up and
find out the particulars Keep him in
suspense until the train that would car
ry him back has passed, and then charge
him what you like, for the company
won't know that he was on your train
at all, and You get an opportunity 10
put in little thrift.
There are a few rules, in relation to
waking Il man up with wrench, and
making him hand YOU his check in his
hat band refusing TO let a sick woman
have a double seat, when there are two
other passengers in the car occupying
the seat near he stove, and letting the
woman with baby shiver in the cor
ner, and the like. but these are gener-
ally so well observed without express
direction that it is work OF supercro-
CATION TO go into them.
Follow oGt the others carefully, and
if you don't get rich by following some
not here alluded to. you will grow up
with the road wise and respected con
ductor. Drakes IraUeterS' Mdgazip,e.