Middletown transcript., 1883-01-12

II,
are good for eighteen hours of wide
ly awakeness Observation-Disclosures
TO of the very most inconceivable wide
~ awakedness that you ever experienced
% in your life. A stranger died on oul
D, hands one time, and we vacated and
II left him in our room over night. Did
e that stranger wait for the general judg.
= ment :? No, sir he got up at five the
is next morning in the most prompt and
e unostentatious way. knew he would,
y [ knew it mighty well. He collected
/ his life insurance, and lived happy ever
after, for there was plenty of proof as
: to the perfect squareness of his death.
e =" Well, we were gradually falling
q away toward better land, on account
d of our daily loss of sleep; so we finally
: had the expert up again, and he ran a
wire to the outside of our door, and
D placed switch there, whereby Thomas,
! the butler, could take off and put on
/ the alarm; but Thomas always made
t one little mistake-he switched the
alarm off at night when he went to
| bed, and switched it on again at day
break in the morning, just in time for
the cook to open the kitchen door, and
: enable that gong to slam us across the
house, sometimes breaking a window
with one or the other of us. At the
end of week we recognized that this
switch business was delusion and
snare. We also discovered that band
of burglars had been lodging in the
house the whole time-not exactly to
steal, but to hide from the police; for
they were hot pressed and they shrewdly
Judged that the detectives would never
think of tribe of burglars taking sanct-
uary in house notoriously protected
by the most imposing and elaborate
burglar-alarm in America.
Sent down for the expert again,
and this time he struck most dazzling
idea-he fixed the thing so that open
ing the kitchen door would take off the
alarm. 1t was noble idea, and he
charged accordingly. But you already
fOrsee the result. l switched on the |
alarm every night at bedtime, no
longer trusting to Thomas frail mem
Ory and as soon as the lights went
out, the burglars walked in at the
kitchen door, thus taking the alarm off
without waiting for the cook to do it
in the morning. You see how aggra-
vatingly we were situated. For months
we couldn't have any company. Not
spare bed in the house all occupied
by burglars.
" Finally, l got up a cure of my own.
The expert answered the call, and ran
another underground wire to the sta |
BILE, and established a switch there, so ]
the coachman could put on and take /
off the alarm. That worked first-rate, S
and a season of peace ensued, during t
which we got to inviting company once ,
more and enjoying life. |
But by and by the irrepressible alarm i
invented new kink. One winters a
night we were flung out of bed by the a
sudden music of that awful gong, and I
when we hobbled to the annunciator, |
turned up the gas, and saw the word Q
Nursery exposed, Mrs. McWilliams t
tainted dead away, and came precious {
near doing the same thing myself. I
seized my shotgun, and stood timing L
the coachman while that appalling buz- h
zing went on. knew that his gong had
flung him out too, and that he would
be along with his gun as soon as he could
jump into his clothes. When l judged
that the time was ripe, crept to the !,
next room to the nursery, glanced =
through the window, and saw the dim ;,
outline of the coachman in the yard be- =
low, at present arms and waiting for i
a chance. Then hoped into the nur- i
sery and fired, and in the same instant :,
the coachman fired at the red flash of :,
my gun. Both of US were successful !,
| crippled nurse, and he shot off all i
my hair. We turned up the gas, and ~
telephoned for a surgeon. There was .,
not a sign of burglar, and no ri
windows had been raised. One glass 9,
was absent, but that was where the h
charge had come through. h,
Here was fine mystery-a burglar ir
alarm going off at midnight of its q
OWN accord, and not burglar in the Il
II
" The expert answered the usual call, :,
md explained that it was easily fixed. ;,
50 he overhauled the nursery window, :,
charged remunerative figure for it, :"
md departed. :"
"What we suffered from false alarms =
he next three years no stylographic pen - -
AN describe. During the first three :,
months always flew with my gun to r r
he room indicated, and the coaehman o.
allied forth with his bettery to support 10
ne. But there was never anything to . .
hoot windows all tight and secure. W
We always sent down for the expert ~
lext day, and he fixed those particular =
windows so they would keep quiet 90 90
Feek or so, and always remembered to ~
end us bill for about S19,77. "
AT length perfectly natural thing -
anne about-after we had answered
hree or four hundred false alarms-to
7it, we stopped answering them. Yes, 1 J.
imply rose up calmly, when slammed -, -,
cross the house by the alarm, calmly ~
Inspected the annunciator took note OF - -
he room indicated, and then calmly ~ ~
isconnected that room from the alarm "
nd went back to bed as ifnothing had 10
Moreover, left that room 90 20
# permanently, and did not send for - %
he expert. Well it goes without say :"