The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-08-22
AMUSING TIE CHILDREN.


Many OF the household recipes printed in
the newspapers are glaring frauds, calculated
to engender trouble and cause infelicity in
the domestic circle.
The other morning Mr.. Newbanks read
IN his favorite Journal an article on /" How
to Amuse the Children at Home" The fol.
lowing formula was one of the pans sug.
gosted:
- Plasterof- Paris is cheap let the child
rem have some to mix with water, and poul
into anything hollow, as, for instance, the
halves of old tin animals which have been
parted asunder aud the result will delight
their Young souls !"
This scheme favorably impressed Mr..
Newbanks. 1t possessed many advantages
over such juvenile pastimes as constructing
mud-pies, falling into ponds, and stoning
the reighbors' cats aud dogs, aud was de.
signed to develop an artistic taste in the
children.
In the afternoon, rs Mr.. Newbanls was
deeply absorbed in the composition of au
elaborate paper on the Invisibility of the
Unseenness for scientific monthly, his
wife entered his library, and impulsively ex-
claimed, in a sentence wholly innocent of
punctuation points.
Now William I'm going out couple OF
hours and do see il you can't keep the child.
rem out of mischief until return and is my
bonnet on straight"
'0h, there'll be no trouble about the
children don't worry about 'em,n said Mr.
Newbanks, confidently, without looking up
from his writing. Your bonnets all right. "
The plaster-of- Paris project was still fresh
in Mr. Ms mind, and after the departure OF
his wife he summoned his children-two
lively boys and a ditto girl-and read them
the simple directions of the recipe Then
he procured peck of the plaster, and in.
structed them how to mix and use it, "de.
lighting their young souls" by imprudently
pouring quantity of the stuff into n small
bottle, which he afterward broke and showed
them the result" He knew from the
eagerness manifested by the little ones to
test the recipe that il WAS going to be an
overwhelming success; and providing them
with number of hollow things with which
10 experiment, he left them, with the in.
junction to "amuse themselves aud keep
out of mischief" Then he returned to his
library, and resumed work on his scientific
essay
The children remained very quiet, aud
Mr.. Newbank's favorable opinion OF the
recipe steadily increased rs the hours went
laundering down the ages.
"The women-folks," he soloquized,
fixing his eyes on u handsome monogram
pen-wiper, and instinetvely wiping his pen
on his coat sleeve, 'are forever pfatng and
moaning about being worried nearly to
death by the children, aud having the life
worried ont of them, aud all that sort of
nonsense. Why, it is the simplest thing IN
the world to amuse the little ones md keep
them ont of misch'
Papa, can't get this ont" said little
Tommy, breaking in upon his parents re-
9 fections. 'eYan fy it, Aud Tommy
placed on the table b feiaer's twenty dollar
meerschaum pipe=a hig.jy priced Christ
mas gift-the bowl OF which he had filled
with plaster, aud then essayed TO crack the
mould" as his father had treated the
bottle.
Mr.. Newbanks rapidly grasped the situa.
don, and his opinion of the recipe fell to
zero as if by magic Selling Tommy by the
arm, he angrily exclaimed: "Why, you
little rasc-"
Papa papa" cried Rosie, rushing into
the library, with her eyes full of delight,
and her dress full of the mixture, ICON,
out an see what Charles doin'"
Why, Rosie" said the father, with con.
siderable asperity, Just look at your dress !
My! my! I'll have to-"
"Wow! Woo 600 = DOW : ouch WOW -
screamed Charlie, dashing into the room et
this juncture, with blood oozing from war
map on his left cheek, and his hair RATED
with plaster Wow-ooo-wow I"
Why, what in the world is the matter,
Charlie ?" anxiously questioned TIE father
"What has happened ?"
And Charlie said, :" 1t -koo-boo--the
cat"
Mr.. Newbanks soon discovered that the
children had literally followed the newspaper
directions, and poured tae plaster al into
anything hollow !" and IL the author of the
recipe had made his appearance at that
moment he would haye been assessinated Oh
the spot. Charlie hod discovered cavity in
the cats ear, and, despite the animals terri
BILE splitting and swearing, insisted upon fill
ing it with plaster, and only desisted when
the feline further showed her disapprobation
of the scheme by inserting couple of claws
in the little fellows cheek.
Mr.. Newbanks was constrained to admit
that while this mode Of amusing the children
might delight their young souls, ii had de.
cidedly anhpodal effect ON the more mature
spirit. With gloomy forebodings he made q
reconnaissance of the premises, and found
the following among other hollow things &"
which had been brought into reqnisition 10
amuss the children and keep them out OF
mischief:
Mammals seventy-five dollar, japanese
vase, badly battered in the effort to loosen
the plaster; little Tommy's sayings-bank,
! the contents Of which, when removed de.
lighted their young souls by bearing a strik-
ing resemblance to lump of cream candy
Interpreted with walnut kernels; the
waste-pips in the botll-tub plumbers bill
for repairs, $ll 40; papa's curious bronze
fnkstand, q relic OF the Centennial-ha&
never been soiled with ink-badly damagedi
key hole of the door (bill for removing the
plaster, 81 25); Rosie's pocket--a rather
brilliant idea, but dismal failure liz an ar
tistic point Of view.
When Mrs. Newbanks returned home she
Surprised her husband surveying the ruins
or mess" as she termed it--and from the
significant manner in which she elevated her
hands and fixed her eyes npon him he cor
rectly inferred that she was about to make
some derogatory remarks, and not wishing
to interrupt her oratory or dam her flow al
eloquence, he rushed from the house win
the explanation that he must be at the post
/ t.~H~ Al. IL H. I.nA