The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-03-22
The Gar Of Russia.


Alexander has selected for his resi-
dence a small town, Gatchina, twenty
eight miles from this city; and there, in
an old-fashioned little palace, he tries to
enjoy life as best he can. The Gatchina
palace was built by the Gar Paul who
used to seclude himself there from fear
of his courtiers, who at length assassin
ated HIM
Alexander usually rises at seven, and
hurriedly dresses himself, with the as
sistance of his trusted servant, Ivan
SaVelief. 1t is Ivan who informs his
majesty earlier than any of the officials
of all news of Importance. 1t is in
VANS power to set his majesty in a
rage for whole day or to make him
beam with beneVolence. The Ministers
are fully aware of lvan's influence
and treat him as their equal,
if not as their superior. After
hei is dressed the Gar enters the recep-
tion-room and receives the report of
General TechereVin, the commander of
Gatcnina and the chief of the Gar S
body-guards. Then he takes long
walk in the palace garden. When in
good hnmor he enters the palace yard,
throws off his overcoat, seizes huge AK
and chops wood. Thick logs of oak and
pine are one after another eagerly and
dexterously cut and split by the autocrat
Of all the Russians. How skillfully he
wields the heavy ak! How swiftly and
nightly he whirls it down upon the
thick logsi If he welded his'scepter as
nightly as he does his ak, the shade
fNf hA
perfectly satisfied in the tomb. But,
alas! Alexander III. is good
wood-chopper and very poor ruler.
If he was not surrounded by so many
loggerheads he would be popular.
Suppose that, instead of the picture of a
Car dressed in gorgeous uniform, they
should distribute everywhere a picture
of the Gar with his coat off cutting
wood. The good-natured Ivans would
give up body and soul for the Gar who,
like them, was chopping wood Alex
ander would be satisfied with his quiet
life at Gatchina if he were not troubled
daily by his Ministers, Governors, Gen
erals, Bishops, the foreign Ambassa lors,
various Populations, and so on. Here,
for instance, comes Platon, the Metro
politan of Kielf, to distribute his benedic-
ton and to lay the golden holy cross on
each and every member of the Imperial
family. OF course the Gar is ready to
listen to the Metropolitan's talk Of God s
providence and inscrutable ways, but
when he has to give up his muscular ex-
erciSe on account of the holy father, he
cannot help exclaiming: Here comes
a holy mummyn' Then comes the Min
lister of War and informs the Gear that
lately the officers are often heard singing
a new song: sour Gar is doing nothing
but eating a cake ornamented with
many-colored sugar flowers" The salt
of it is this. There is well-known
satire of Schedrin in which the Russian
Cars are ridiculed. ''There is a country
of fools,'' said Schedrin, ''who are ruled
by King who is the biggest fool of all,
for he does nothing but eat an immense
cake ornamented with many colored
sugar flowers"
minds him of electricity, and yet a strong
desire to heac the opera without exposing
himself at the theater induced him to
have telephone put up in his Gatchina
palace, and now the Gar and Czaritza,
putting their heads together, listen to
operas given at this city, twenty-eight
miles away. They hear the songs. the
recitations, the music and the applause
No doubt they recall with regret those
days when they did not need any tele-
phone in order to hear an opera, when
they were not guarded like prisoners and
not tortured like criminals. Moscou
Cor. ". 7. Herald.