The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1883-12-21
DEER LODGE, MONTANA, DECEMBER q, 1888
WHY WE LAUGH.

A real pullman cara hand car.-r Milo,
Ne,cs.
A loaded gun-All of them-[ Eep Yorl
Commercial advertiser. ... ..r.....
The farmers wife should wear ,gros grair
silk.--[Ne,c York Commercial Advertiser
Darwin's body lies nouldering In the
grave, but the dude goes marching on
[Emporia Ne,cs.
An ingenious young lady wants to know
II Tennyson's "Galahad" Is not "the girl he
left behind him. Philadelphia Herald.
A Texas man Is Texas man. One who
lost both arms In asaw.mill has learned TO
fire revolver with his toes.-BOston Post.
It Is estimated that of Mississippi's sixty
or seventy colonels In the late war not more
than two thousand Eve hundred now re-
main.
"Yes,nths Nebraska farmer. said, "barb.
ed wire fence Is expensive; but the hired
man doesn't stop TO rest every time he has
TO climb It."
The old Democratic blunderbuss Is again
in position at the National Capitol. II has
already left of one or two big loads of blum
der.-[ Commercial Gazette.
A young man in Kansas wanted to teach
school, but couldn't tell horizontal from
perpendicular, and when asked what q "cir-
culsr" was, said It was fur-lined cloak.
Footing bill: 81 was only footing one
Of your late Bills" remarked fond father
to his daughter, afser kicking her sweet Will
liam out Of the front yard.-[LDe.
One great difference between Langtry and
Modjesks that has been revealed to the mind
Of the Burlington Free Press is that one Is Q
Pole and the other . stick.
All the clocks stopped and held up both
hands In amazement, yesterday noon, when
the city authorities told them to lie to the
world henceforth and forever.-[ Boston i'd
uertiser.
"Don't you think that this half.mask is
very becoming TO me? ?" inquired 4 young
lady of q rival at an Austin masquerade.
"Well, yes; 1t hides at least portion of
your fsce."-Terds Siftings.
A woman may be perfectly angelic, and
patient as patient can be, and still not be
sble to look csmly on while her husband
draws q match along picture frame to light
his pipe.-[Puck.
An old yellow dog in Cologne
Ran away with an old woman's bogne;
But the wrathful old orogne
Hit him twice with q stogne,
And 1t was dreadful to hear tho dog grogne.
Mr.. B.-"How thin my hair Is getting"
Mrs. B.-"Yes, you are almost bald. You
must not 60 to the theatre so often." Mr..
B.-"The theatre! Does attending the thea
tIe make men bald ?" Mrs. B.--"Going out
between the acts does."-PhilGdelphia Call.
An oyster will live TO the age of 20 years
that Is, In the sea he will. In the restaurant
the chances are against him. Sometimes he
lasts long time In the restaurant-oh,
very long time! But he does not live nearly
as long as he lasts.-Erchange.
A passenger on the Auburn railroad Offer
ed the conductor trade dollar for fare, says
the Cornellsviile, N. Y. Times. The con.
ductor examined it aud remarked: 81 don't
want that peace Of money"
"Well give 1t to the company, them, re-
marked the passenger.
At the closing of concert in Bradford,
while q young gentleman was struggling with
his hat, cane, overcoat, opera glasses, and
his young lady's fan, all of which he was
trying to retain on his lap, suspicious
looking black bottle from the overcoat
pocket fell on the floor with loud thud.
aThere!D be sxeiaimed 10 his couipsniop,
81 shall locs-my cough medicine" That
wss presence Of mind.-San Francisco Post.