Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-11-29
HE UNDERSTOOD IT.
How Squatter Enjoyed the Opers. Of
Iolanthe--Knew He Wasn't
Drunk.
IArkansaW Trayeler.1

accepted an invitation to attend the opera.
The old man had no idea of what an opera
was like, didn't know whether it was place
of worship or an exhibition of improved fire.
arms, but he agreed with that promptneas OF
decision characteristic Of a man who is never
daunted.
The opera was Iolanthe aad when tho
fairies began to march around, in their
shrill but not unmusical evolutions, tho old
squatter turned to his friend and s,:il:
"Mighty peart loosin' gals Clothes amt
hardly ftten for winter, but th'y'n do
mighty we'll for summer wear. Air thoy
nachul, like tho gals you SOC wallsn aroun'
or air they some sort OF contrapshun rigg,l
up by the Yankees have hearn that tho
Yankees ken make ia kim machine, an
reckon If they ken do that, they ken make
suthin' ter squeal."
"'They are natural women," the merchant
replied.
He sat for some time watching the per-
formance. Occasionally he would shake his
head in doubt, and then with an affirmative
nod, he would approve Of some turn affairs
had taken.
"Them fele,s muster come from the over
flowed destricks, he said pointing to the
lords in knee-breechcs. EITHER that or cloth
of feller holdin' up the coat tiil Of tho old
buck"
That's the lord chancellor" whispere tho
merchant
"Vall cloth amt scarce with him. Ile's
got some to spar. IF he wuster come out in
my neighborhood some feller'd step on
them coat tails an ak him his business It'd
be fun for my son-in-!aw to put his number
"a, %I,a fo;1 ,,P fhot piufa
'whar yer ira velin, poclnerT Ef the Simmon
boys wuster see him they'd say he was the
devil Look at 'em. They sing at each
other It's the whinin'est s,t l over seed
Oh, it's show, is it. Why don't
they fetch out the hosses' The shows
amt what thew was when l
was young,ter Them fiddlcrs down thar
Is a poke easy set. They air what we'd call
easy scratches. Mind me of the chllun
rakin' around whar the 'taters was dug airter
the stray ones. Now they've commenced to
dig little That feller with the big ti,ldlo's
got the grubbn' hoe. Zig he, found a fresh
hill an is t'arin it all ter pieces Now the
other fellers air scratchn' all around him.
Now th,'re over inter the goobor pea patch
an mir rakin up the dirt. The big fellcr
kain't gt his grlbbin' hoe over the fence"
and then as u blast from tho cornet rang
throughout the house, ho added: "iher's
tho di,,uer horn"
Thccurtain came down and the old fellow
sat for a moment in silence.
"Air thcy comm back artor dinnor"
"Yes," the merchant replied.
''Then we'll wait an see the crap gathered.
l nlrrs like to see the thing well doae," and
again he devoted himself to deep reflection.
The curtain went lid again.
THAR comes the felcrs with short britches
an the gals with wings. That big fcller ken
sing putty well, an ant afeereI to open his
mouth but that slim rooster that
tries to squcal like oman is
in mighty Io' business | know sing
In when hear it, an eff WIS ter git mp thar
ter sing I'd make that feller stanlin down
thar drop that stick. couldn't go along AZ
sing ef a man stool up an shuck stick at
me- 1t mout be III fun, but woultlt like it.
When man shakes a stick at mo he's got
ter stop right thar an explain. All. Lawd!
l wish Nip Tucker was here. He'd git up
on that flatfom amongst thcm pictuts
an sing them fellers outcn countenance
Now, Nip's singer l tell yer what
ho dun. Yer know whar the old Aimes
place is. Wall, luther night l was 4 sittn
on the fence at home, an Nip was over the
Aimes place singin', an could hear him.
Three miles away, mind yor Now whatsort
of a show would these fellers have with u
man like that! Thar's the feler with the
grubbin' hoe Look at that little fellcr with
q hatchet hackiu' on tho stump. They air
airter rabbit. BOUNDS how the dogs Scratch
and the imaginative old fellow could scarcely
keep his scat. Asociating every sound with
an action, and living an almost tisuratiye
life, the squatter, when his emotions are
stirred can not remain quiet. "1har's the
dogs s.nelln' in tho hole. Bin, tho big f.l-
ler's gone to work with the grubbin' hoe
Now they all jine in an air maxim tho dirt
fly. They are huddlin' together, and if they
don't mind tho rabbit'll run out. Zounds!
thar he goes, bookorty, bookerty. Head
him, head him. Through tho fence. Whoop.'
"Look hero, sir" sal IL man in authority,
tapping the old man OIL the shoulder "lf
you don't behave yourself I'll put you out of
here. You ought to have better sense than
to come here drunk"
81 mint drunk"
'Yes you are
"You're liar, an I'll fight yer, rabbit or
no rabbit"
Hold on" said the merchant. "Don fight
here"
"Well, he kan't say that I'm drunk, when
Two been wantin' a drink OF WHISKY ever
sinca two hours by SUM-
%ho iSn