The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1883-11-20

That's what beats me-" remarked a
10y, AZ he passed pile of shingles.
When does budding young damsel
tnrst iuto fruit When she becomes the
apple of somebody's eve.
The old saying, 1t never rains but
!; ponrs.' seems suggestive of baby,
Who never has pains but it roars.
The young men who are on the look.
gut for "soft place" through dislike for
lsone<t, hard work, can find one-under
their hats.
-" My friends said. the parson, i" let
l-rs say few words before we begin"
And the old deacon, catching on, took a
rap before he went to sleep.-Lynn Item.
"A gentleman saw an advertisement
that a cure for dyspepsia might DO had
lay sending postage stamp to the adver-
tjser. He sent his stamp and the answer
was /" Dig in your garden and let whisky
alone"
Mike was asked if he believed in Sec
end love. Faith, an | do!" said he.
:" If yon have a pound of sugar, isn't
il swate? And, when that is gone, don't
you want another, and isn't that swate,
too?"
Fred Douglass advised Republican
negroes to "make it hot" for such of
their trace as preferred to vote the Demo
cratic ticket. That is the negro dema-
gogue's idea Of free ballot-Mo5ile
Regitser
IS It's my last resort, my last resort"
rurmered detected looking individual
IS he braced himself up against q lamp
post. "What is that ? " asked sympa-
thetic by-stsnder. Home,'' was the
rhournful reply: Home, sweet home"
A boy who was recently taken to
church for the first time had his attention
,sNeclslly drawn to a man in the choir,
who was playing on a violin. "Paps,
what was that thing man kept scrating
On its back with stick ?'
Il Tom Ochiltree had not more than
reached Texas before the story was tele-
sraphed that turtle weighing sixty
Eounds had been blown BY tornado
ifom river aud landed in distant cot.
ton field Baltimore american.
-" Are your domestic relations agreea-
be? asked person of a colored gentle
man who resides near Ratcliff Highway.
"What's dat conjunction, sab ?" 81
ssked are your family ties pleasant ?"
Weili no, sab. When 'oman ties a
man when he's drunk, and whips him till
he's sober, doan' think its pleasant.
sah.r
Mike sits the Irish that DOES all
the invEntinc in these days, sure" JON
athan Irish be darned The Irish don't
invent anything to speak of; it's Ameri-
cans that invent everything" Nike:
Thin perhaps yez can tell me why the
irishman's name, Pat, is always next to
the date on all the new invintions. Divil
OF an American name can ye find on
wan, at, all, at ALL"
IA teacher in a suburban school was
giving her class an object lesson q few
days ago, and drew q cat on the black.
board for it's inspection. She then asked
what there was on the Cat, and the unani-
nous reply was, chair" "What else P''
nhe queried. There was q long pause of
consideration, but finally the hand of q
bfight-syed little 6ve-year old shot up.
And almost simultaneously came her tn
qmphant answer, fleas !''-Bosto, Post.
- Little Nell-"You came to see nv big
s'ster, ,hdn't you?" Mr. Piffkins-"W eli.
. yes, ma little dear am friend of hers.''
I Little Nell-"Oh, Pm 80 glad you are
only'a friend was afraid you was 60
ing 20 lie beau, and sisters beaux are
40 tirespme and won't let me come in the
parlor, and they all stay so late, and man.
na and papa get 30 cross the next morn
ing WREN sisters lips are so chapped.
FriepdA don't kiss much, do thew"
Young, Piffkius with q far away paze)-
: No, ] suppose not" Little Nell-"Oh!
that's 40 nice. Then You will let me
gtay Ia the parlor. / have not had .
chance to be in the parlor for most q
week.: