Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1883-05-18

North PAo1F1o stock 492s; preferred 86A ;
St. Paul, Minneapolis & Manitoba, 1868
Western Union, soI.
license for his temple. It will be revoked if the
Passion Play is presented.
REDFIELD undertaken has purchased 800
hearse and respectfully asks for the generous
support which his enterprise merits,
Boston owes debt of s41 ,l84.35s, but that
doesn't trouble her as long as the bean crop is
bountiful and sestheticism holds its grip on the
front seat.
Or ten thousand immigrants who located
along the line of the North Pacific in April
1910 located in Minnesota, 4,67O in Dakota, and
1903 in Montana.
WHY not locate the capital of Dakota in a
cart and drive it all over the territory-ike q
circus wagon Duluth Tribune.
What capital idea !!
A MONTANA editor claims to have killed l47
snakes in one day recently. It is bad enough
for him to be in that condition without pub
fishing the fact to the world.
"C1osE CALL is the name of new Montana
town, and the next mail will pr.bably bring the
intelligence that its citizens have presented
town lot to Henrywardbeecher.
GEN. BUTLER has the power of going to sleep
at any time when he chooses to do SO. He will
experien. no difficulty in getting on the police
for ce when he finishes up the reformation OF
Massachusetts, and the people generously retire
him. - -~~'
MARRIED man in Rochester took young
lady to the theatre one night, and after the
first act excused himself for moment as he
wanted to ''see man." He didn't come oack'
Instead of seeing man he saw woman. 1t
was his wife waiting for him at the door.
AFTER hunting for him for seven years, Eli
Madison killed Thayer Goodwin in Texas last
week. and not paper in the state bad the en-
terprise to softly announce that Eli finally got
Thayer. Such listless and apathetic conduct on
the part of the press is actually distressing!
ANGELO CoRNETr1 w-s New York Italian
who thought that only Catholics were hanged
for murder. When the sheriff came to lead him
to the gallows, he called himself Protestant,
but he SWING in midair all the same. He muir
dered convict named Dan Cash, in Sing Sing
prison.
A STREET car conductor in Liverpool has
Avn" -
q West India planter who has left $50O,000.
On the dsv he received the news he turned in
nearly double his usual amonnt of fares, and
the direct ,:s are scratching their bald heads
and rejecting over the fact
ATLANTA Ga, has l42 practicing lawyers, and
there were only 135 cases docketed for trial at
recent term of court. The attorneys not engaged
on cases sat around with their chairs tipped
Ill <Losr bod n 11nr11T oH
and wise aud winked knowingly at each other
when fine points were made.
TIE Grand Forks Plaindealer has entered
upon its second yesr with colors flying and it's
head erect in the air. Bright and newsy in
every particular, the Plaindealer has become an
indispensable fixture in its locality rnd its ap-
pearance gives unmistakable evidence that IL
is receiving the support and encouragement it
80 Justly merits.
GRAND Forks News: tsBismarck is trembling
in it's shoes over the rumor that Eli Perkins, the
champion liar of the Atlantic seaboard, ia head
ing that way. If Eli once pulls his throttle
wide open on them, the whole editorial frater-
nifty of that city will be kept busy for the next
six months in refuting his ISLANDERS" The
rumor proved to be false one, and the pickets
stationed around the city have been called IN.
A HURON landofice clerk named Smith at
tackled badgert?) the other day, and after the
conflict he was obliged to quarantine himself a
half mile to the windward of his house and
make signs for his wife to plug up her nose and
bring him out another suit of clothes. He has
taken up the study of natur.l history and is
pursuing it with vengeance born of sad ex.
perience. -. -.s
A CLEVELAND lawyer, who has been in the
profession for twenty-nine years, has just quit
it from remorse Of conscience and desire to
reach blissful future rest. Twenty mine
years is long time to walk in the paths of
iniquity and expect to pass judgment ali right,
but if his reformation is complete he may be
given the benefit of the doubt on trial and
allowed to sit down in an ont of the wry corner
of the promised land.
A MARYLAND ex-congressman has sixteen un-
married daughters, and they are said to be
the handsomest ladies in the state. For some
reason they have no suitors, and the old man
is trying to devise some means to marry them
off. Out this way when . citizen wishes to
dispose of an article and can do it in no other
way he puts it up and lets the boys rafle for
it. Can the Maryland man shake1a pointer out
Of this announcement? &.