Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-08-20
BRIGHT BITS.

Mr.. CoNKLING got scalded in one Of
the Yellowstone hot springs. The springs.
however. were not aware that il was Mr..
C0nkling.
\ STRANGER in the city, seeing the
places ef public resort full Of Young men
night after night. asked If this was the
land Of the midnight son.-Bost0R Tran
script.
The IRISH ..agitatOr'' AT Cape MAY Is a
female and an heiress. The agitation
created is Of the heart, not Of the head.
She is. furthermore. ''inyincible. '-LOlc-
ell Citizen.
II SEVERAL female colleges in Iowa the
girls are taught how to cook. II will
come quite handy for them, if, after mar
riage. they get anything TO cook or
kers Gazette.
The Concord philosophers have gone
10 Rocky Point to-day for a clam bake.
Think Of the transcendality Of the here
after INDUCING in the actually ola clam,
It must accelerate the steam Of conscious
ness.-LClceU Courier.
\ MAN named John Holland is 102 years
old. and weighs 1O4 pounds. This is at
the rate Of pound a year. David Davis
would have 70 live TO the age OF Methu-
saleh 10 measure himself by Mr.. HOl-
lands standard.-Puck.
IL PHILADELPHIA carrier pigeons are
used 10 take returns OF base ball matches.
4 carrier pigeon can get the start Of
messenger boy. The bird doesn't stop to
peep through the fence knot-hOles to see
bit Of the next inning.-HdrfCTd Post.
THE SPEAKER who alluded to his candi-
date as 1.-The war horse that snuhed the
battle from affair." climbed up TO thecOmpO-
sitiOn room with a club after reading it in
the paper as 1.-The ward boss that snatched
the bottle from bar."-B0St0U COHtHer-
ciQl Bulletin.
no" said the sad-eyed man. Il never
press "A young woman to play upon the
piano. ] tried ii once To my sorrow.
"Why. what follOwed;" asked a half
dozen eager voices ..She played re-
piled the sad-eyed man. 4 shall never
forget the lesson / learned that day
B0St0H Transcript.
Il TELL YOU it's been a powerful close
season in Michigan this summer" said
the tramp as he ished in his pocket for
anotAer green apple why. last sum-
mer | kept myself dressed like gentle
man by stealing the scare-cTows in the
corn fields. but this year the farmers rip
a pair Of pants in two and make the two
ragged legs do duty over a whole 80
acres. ''-DetrOt Free Press.
We find the following going around un-
credited. and suppose the paper that first
got II on was ashamed 10 2lNe us name.
At one OF the watering places an iInpa-
tent Young man walked up 10 the door Of
the bathing house in which ne thought
his male companion was dressing. and.
knocking on the same. testify inquired:
when in blaZes are YOU going 10 get
those pants On:'' There was a faint gig
Gle, and a silvery voice replied: when
| get married. | suppose"
$50 4. GOT away with Sl00,0O0:' said
reporter to the President Of the - Bank.
Yes. responded the President, with a
sigh: but that is not the worst Of it,"
What. did he take convertible bonds be-
sides the cash?'' mo, sir" retorted the
President; 1.-The villain got away with my
daughter .Ah. an elOpement"' Yes,
BY Cupidr All" murmured the re-
porter a Harvard graduate, thought
fully. ''fdlSUs IL Un0 fdiS"S
in 6n,utb,is.' .'Omnibus be smashed"
roared the President; omnibus, in
deed. No. sir: steam cars. Darn
them. they jumped on the steam cars.
ONLY a blamed fool would elOpe in an
omnibus, anyhow !"-Ibe Judge.