The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-09-11
ABOUT DOOR BELLS.
The Queer Distemp5r That Is En-
gendered by Continually
Ringing Them.

Jig a good deal. L know, but | ca
actually size up the dwelIers in a
house by the way the knob at the
door looks and pulls Before | went
in;o the service Of the postoffice de-
partment [ vas a carrier for mes.
senger service i'm New York. | walked
about twenty miles day on an ave-.
age. Then, of course, had no regu-
lar route, but started out twice day
with bundle of letters and circulars.
l walked and pulled bells for .Iour or
five hours at stretch. Whv. | got
60 that | could tell the value Of every
house as receptacle for a circular on
nearly every cross street i'm New York
When the carrier system was intro
duced for the mails / secured one of
the first situations, and [ have been
tramping ever since. NV life has
been go as you please'-only in the
tan-bark acceptation, of course
lit requires much longer To deliver
a given number of letters IN post
mans route in Philadelphia than in
New York, does itnot ?"
Eyes, indeed; nearly half as long
again. The high stoon and hasemeni
window are the postman's fat Take
the uptown morning delivery in New
York, for instance. Why. a fellow
can deliver four-fifths of his lettars
at the front basement windows with
out ringing the bell, IF there are
young women at home they are on the
watch. Then. too, the breakfast hour
is much later in New York than here,
and the postman can generally catch
the family together"
That's bad makes it awkward
for husband i! he gets letter fr,m
some of his friends, perhaps"
Yes, but not 80 bad AS if the note
is delivered in his absence, for there's
hardly a wife in the United States
that will not open letter addressed
to her husband if she believes it to be
from strange woman" Queer
creatures, wives. They're always
trying to find out something that they
don't want tn discover. But there
are postmen in every city who re
ceive regular stipends from indiscreet
husbands never to deliver any letters
adi9e ssed to them at their residences.
the postman merely grasses the house
address and substitutes the mans
place of business"
DOUBTLESS there are many queer
stories about this branch of your cali
ing ?"
Indeed there are. Why, 1 recall
case up in North Sixteenth street
only little while ago, when asuspici-
Gus wife received from the hands of
the postmaster a very eIaborate-look-
ing envelope addressed to her lord.
The handwriting was Enthusiastically in
a ladys scrip, and in her agitation the
thoroughly-aroused wife tapped it
against her forehead. thereby making
the awful discovers that it was seem
ten. That settled the business. There
Was a cyclone in that house for half
al hour. She did not dare to open
the letter with knife but she tried
the tea-kettle and pin without sue
cess. She tried in vain to read its
contents by holding it up to the sun.
Then she did the most ridiculous
thing IMAGINABLE. she threw on her
shawl, went straight to a notorious
divorce lawyer and laid the case be-
fore him, bathed in tears. He looked
at the letter, weighed it in his hand,
end he'd just admitted that it had a
very suspicious look, when his clerk
Ell .ered with his mail. The first to
catch his eye was q similar envelope
The lady saw the solution of the affair
b fore the lawyer did, and, snatch
ing the offending circular hurried
home. 1t was an engraved letter
from prominent jeweler in this CITY.
/ had this story from the man on that
route, who mad it from the lady's
maid"
To return to the door-bells. How
does the sight of knob affect you ?"I
,"Now. that's queer question and
as YOU ask it I'll confess to you that,
/ have been conscious for several
years of mental weakness In regard
to door bells The sight of one as Il
walk along the street arouses an al
mosr overpowering impulse to clutch
and pull it. Involuntary | often
start toward it before my will is able
to reassert Its power Years ago | |
had no sympathy for kleptom"ni acs.
| thought it al imaginary distemr r.
Now l am prepared TO admit that il !
is a reality. Some knobs are more
seductive than others. Some appear
to invite the comranioDsbip of man,
while Others repei L. Here and th~re