Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-02-24
RIi NOR lUS.


in. d. Kelly, Clerk. aud Jim Hewitt,
Sheriff. oI Carroll County, Georgia, rame
to Atlanta aud determined 10 call on Gov
ernor Stevens. Before dolag 90 they took
a shave, had their hair cut. aud dyke up
in new suits The hall door of the nran-
sion WAS open, aud the visitors noticing
two men at the other cnd ~ the hall,
walked IN. A they passed the threshold
they bowed and touched their hats grace
fully. The men at the lower end oi the
hall did the same. They motioned usto
go In this parlor," said Kelly, turning to
the right and wa'king in. After sitting
there awhile Hewitt said: "Are you surr
THAI fellow told us TO come In hsre."
yes" said Kelly; "but III go asa him
again" As Kelly walke,l out u he par
lor door he SAW man walk ou oi door
on the same side, at the other end OF the
hall. "Dhl you say 20 Ia therey" Kelly
asked, beckoning back into the parlor.
Instantly the mau at the other cnd beck
oned back 10 the parlor. aud Kelly ro-
entered IL. "Ilc says right in here, jim.
| saw him again Another long wait.
Al last both visitors got uneasy aud deter
mined TO try it again. As they walked
out into the hall two men entered IL again
from the same side, lower down. Hewitt
and Kelly again moionrd toward the par
lor. Both the strange men pointed to the
parlor. They started back, when Kelly
stopped uhienly. gahrd inIrnhy 10 the
TWO men and then shook his head. The
bald headed man down the hall did IN.
same thing lie ILrn lifted hts les, sni
the balt-hraded man below dbl hk,vise.
Look here. JIM" said he, 'I'G 10
swampcd IL we ain't been talking TO our
selves all the time. That end OF the house
is looking-glas And tiIh'. jns whsr
IL was.
Mr. Lincoln used io tell. Ia hi, him
liable way, Il story of Winchester r"n-
verted Confederate, who was 80 o,cjpyei
at receiving his pardon that he exclaimed
"Thnnk you, Mr. P~esic-nr! rluk .ou!
Now I'm pardoie,l 'sposr I'm as good
Union man as any OF you; emphaticaily
one Of You again. But di'ln't Sto"a~aii
Jackson give us III. IN the vaileyr
An amusing Incident occurred ai ws'l-
ding ceremony Ia u Providence. K. T.,
church few days sgo. The service was
delayed over An hour by the diI.torins.
OF the bride, and the company we're get
ting restless. when the oryani,t relieved
the tedium OF waiting by playing the tune,
"Oh dear me, what can the maftsr L.f'
An old Irish soldier. who pri.led himself
upon his bravery, said he had fought IN
the battle of Bull Run. when asked ifhs
had reirrated anL made bis escape a. ot,-
crs did OF tl,At occasion. replied. "Bl
jaters, those thar liiIn'trun are there yell"
"Jane," sail father. "l thought you
hated ssingy people, anl yet yoar young
NAH" Why, pa, who said ie was stin-
gy.' "oh, nobody, replied pa, ''oniy
I could see ne was little close "a I passed
through the ROOM"
A German at hotel In the city, tho
other day, had some Limberger ebcc.s
sent to him. A little boy Who eat beside
him turned 10 his mother AID excIaiuled:
Mamma how wish I was deaf aud
dumb in my nose"'
IL was an Irish pilot who, being asked
IL he knew the rocks IN the harbor, replied
with confidence II do. yer honor. livery
wan av them. That's wan," bc sdled
calmly, 40 the sbip struck u, fllsi Anj
sank. ..
"Pa, is it right to call q mzD born In
Poland Pole? ?" -."0f course, my child"
"w.It, then, IL q msn 10 born In Holland,
10 he u Hoie?" ''rat, tut. III answer no
more Of your silly questioas."
A man always looks through bis pockets
four times before handing his coat TO bis
wife TO have q button sewed on, and even
then he il filed with nameles fear un-
Ill the job Is completed.
Professor: "If you attempt TO squeeze
any solid body IL will always resist press
ure.v Class smiles and cites examples Of
exceptions which prove the rule.
IL IL said that female dentist of.Bosson
Is 50 pretty that she can coax . msn's
tooth ont by just putting her hand under
his chin and asking for 1t. b. ~
IL was trininx circnmssncs thst clead-
ell the domestic blissoi q secestiy married
Toledo couple-she hsd corns, and he bsd
razor. ''if't ift'''' -'tii ~
Hood, in describing the meeting of .
man aud lion, ssid the msn ran OF With
all his might and the lion with al bis
name.
. y eyes. e 2 .aid the fsrner, "sarbed rirs
fence Is expensive. bat the birs.t man
ssa's ssOp g rest every time s bs s. sl,s''
is''!sis "a "a q. - as.J 80 io.fsi sas
CourtshiR y deanetl bra man shpprr-
,lsensls 70 know - ''the sklsnish befsrs the
regular bettls tessnsH Il spre zsafs
.lis 81 ss;.ssa slss ~ fgitss xts "a. -
Dr. .<v 49, - z.svsf :, .<~~..