The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-09-06
THE JOKERS BUDGET.
WHAT WE FIND IN THE HUMOROUS
PAPERS.
GLAD TO SEE HIM.

A young man in far Western town
met o lady ON the street who was
from the same Eastern town he was,
but who had never treated him very cor
daily at home. She was glad to see
him, and rushed at him with:
GLOW do you do? I'm awful glad to
see you. When did you come? How
are all the folks2"
every WE'LL thank you. Icame in--'
"Well, I'm so glad to see you, she
interrupted impetuously. "Iou know,
never knew you very well III S., but
get so homesicl, out here that I'm glad
to zee even q dog, if it comes from the
dear old place. ."-D,Un,N:cr.
HAD TO GO ON.
In the panicky days of 1872 o Balt
morean went to q trusted friend and
asked his advice in regard to failing,
and affecting cheap settlement WITH
his creditors.
What are your liabilities ?" WA.
asked.
"About $4,000"
"And your assets ?"
ooh, I'm worth about $50, ,OOO."
"And how much do you hope TO beat
your creditors, out OFF"
''Well, perhaps twelve hundred"
''My dear sir, you are next door to
business idiot! Where YOU beat Won,
creditors out of twelve hundred the lam
yers will beat you out of twenty-folr
You have started altogether wronu
You should be worth $4,000 and be il.
debt $4,000. Let this be n solemn
warming never to do such foolish thino
again. No, sir, you can't fail. Go
back to the business and pay dollar for
dollar, and it will serve you just right,
too"
The dealer followed the advice and
it wasn't until last year that no could
bring failure around and settle for
twelve cents on the dollar.- JVaU Street
NeW8.
A SINGULAR EXPRESS PACKAGE.
a lady who was waiting for package
IN the freight department of the Ameri-
can Express Office sat down on some boxes
Aid carelessly rested one arm on an ex-
press package close by. In Il few mo.
mehts something warm and soft touched
her arm, causing a very curious thrill
she locked into the box through n nar-
row crack and saw two bright eyes
when she appealed to one Of the men:
"IhereH something alive in there, y
she suggested.
81 guess Lot" said the man going On,
with his work.
The next moment little, feeble wail
came from the box.
"Good gracious, it's baby" cried
the alarmed woman, "and it will surcl,
smother p
5everal employees gathered around the
oox, and on inspecting the aperture they
could distinctly see the bright oycs
and small pathetic face of n deserted in.
tnnt. Humanity is ever uppermost.
Some of the men were fathers. The,
could not stand this cruel abuse of holl,
less offspring, and one indignant ma.
tore on the cover, and-a small Afrca
monkey, billed to the German bird-sto,c
weight five pounds, express charge scy
anty-five cents, leaped over thcir hrni.
and curved itself defantly on a pile OF
boxes. Tnbleau on the lndy's part
Monkey baby Gagged and delivered o,.
Saturday.-Det,oH POST
NOT SO SALT UP THERE
good story is told of IN elderly pen-
tleman who has ben visiting in Baneo.
Tor some time past, says the C0n,nicy'-
c!dt He had been observed every
pleasant afternoon sitting near the
string piece of the lower Maine Central
Rmlroad wharf, taking in the whole of
the fresh Southwestern which usually
fuihes the PenoDscot in summer, and
one day a stevedore lounged up, and
pltlng on q piece of "pig-tail," asked
confdentally:
"Waitin' for some craft a-con,ip' o.,
this brecze?"
mo, answered the visitor.
Gut vcsSiI in the tier ?"
"Oh, dear no."
~ raps yer wuntcr ship?"
Heavens, no! I'm not snilor.
hey?" '' >'>',N'
yes, answered the visitor, enthu-
siastlcally, 81 do like to sit here and
breath the cool salt air rs it comes rush
in from the sea-"
"The stevedore threw away his end
put his hands i'll his pockets and bent
look OF mingled pity and contempt on
the stranger, rs he said:
salt There amt no salt wind IN
acre. Why they fill bilers six miles
below Bangor"
And thus another bright fancy was
DIFFERENCE.
An administrator who, in winding nm
the estate OF a deceased friend, inserted
aohce IN newspaper, to- the effect
mat oil who had accounts with the late
Colonel Burke, must come and settle
or legal steps would be taken to enforce
such settlement. The next day man
called around and said:
IL am glad that you printed that
warning, for I don't want to 90 to
law" '"
You are an honest man." replied the
administrator.
Yes, [ hope So owed the colonel
twenty dollars"
Shall write you q receipt ?"
mo, not yet. The colonel, as thi,
note will show, owed me forty dollars,
Give me twenty dollars, as l don't want
to be drawn into law"
-, Give you twenty dollars !" exclaimed
the administrator. "Do you take me