davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02
How We Tried To Lick Tbs Teacher,
TOLD AT THE OLD SETTLERS MEETING.

Iwuz boy O. seventeen, ungainly dull and
tall,
Ez green ez any gozlin, but ] thought knew
IL all.
Invent 10 school at Piano. Ichopped up wood
an chOred
Fur Zephaniah Wilkinson to pay him fur my
board.
One day Philetus Phinncy, another boy in
school,
About ez rough an raw ez I-about cz big a
fool
Just limited in private way, twould be right
smart featur'
An give us lots o. glory, ifwe'd up an lick
He wouldn't ask no better fun than list to
make him climb.
We'd hev long vacation an whopper of
time.
The teacher he wuz sickly-he wuz not ez big
knew that we could bounce him If we didn't
half but try,
Fer cny one on lookin at him would said on
sight
His hands, they want accustomed much TO
hangin' on 10 pows,
TO holm corn, to cradlin wheat, or milkin'
twenty COWS.
Phietus said he'd use him fer mop to mop
ire floor,
An when he legged an hollered that we'd hist
him out the door.
We told tho boys ut recess OF the plot tibet we
he'd planned;
They scd II we could down him they'd lend
helpin' ham.
But big Pniletus Phinney, he wuz tickled ez
could be
To think we thoughts snip like that could lick
chap like he;
f I'd kick the bucket over, he'd make the
teacher dance
He'd Hop him i'm the water and mop it with his
pants.
We heard the school bell ringin' we scrambled
in pell nell.
Iran against the water pail on pupus, counsel
fell:
struck upon piece of wood an badly raked
my shin.
The water sweshcd upon me an wet me to the
skin.
That scrawney little teacher, why! he bounded
He took me by the trousers an he held me in
Then round an round an round he whirled me
An when seed a thousand stars he sudden let
He took me an he shook me till thought that
He swished me with his ruler till my pants were
While big Philetus Phinney, he were just too
He let the teacher thrash me till bellered like
acaf,
An all the other fghtin' boys, with white an
Sot shaking in Their very boots an rastlin' with
Their books:
An Chow bard they studied-nota Teller spoke
or stirred
They didn't dare to whisper or say single
word.
Where Is that lite teacher that guy me SIGH
scare?
He still is peaked lookln'-he's settin' over
thar
An though he is nearly seventy and sickly
yet, VOW,
I'd hate TO hev him git those hands OF his upon
me now.
He taught me one great lesson by fiogging in
his schools;
That hraggart and bully are a coward an
IA fool.
From away Out West,"-by Eugene j. Hail.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02
Army Punishments.

In different sections of the army,
various cXpedients were rcsorted to for
the purpose of correcting minor offenses.
What particular shape the punishment
should assume depended very much
upon the inventive faculty of the Field
and Staff, or of such officers of the line
rs might have charge of the case.
Before taking the field, few citizen
sneak-thieves were discovered providing
about among the tents. These were
promptly drummed out of camp to the
tune of the "Rogues' March" the whole
regiment shouting in derision as the
miserable fellows took to their heels
when the procession reached the limits
of the camp, where they were told to
be gone, and never show their faces in
camp again on pain of more severe
handling.
If, while we were lying in camp, q
man refused to do his duty, he was
at once taken to the guard-house. which
is the military name for ''lock-up."
Once there, at the discretion of the
officers, he was either simply confined
and put on bread and water, or else
ordered to carry n log of wood, or n
on and two off," day and night, until
such time rs he was deemed to have
done sufficient penance. In more
extreme cases. n court-martial was held,
and tho penalty of forfeiture of all pay
due, with hard labor for thirty days, or
the like, was inflicted.
One day, down in front of Petersburg,
number of us had been making q
friendly call on some acquaintance
over in another regiment. AS we were
returning home, we came across
what we took to be q well, and, wishing
drink, we all stopped. The well in
question, rs was usual there, was moth
ing but % barrel sunk in the ground;
for at some places the ground was so
full of springs that, in order to get
water, all you had to do was to sink q
box or barrel, and the water would soon
down and looking into the barrel in
question, Andy discovered man stand
ing in the well, engaged in bailing out
the water.
whats he doing down there in that
hole?' asked some one of our CON-
pany.
why" said the guard, who was
standing near by. and whom we had
taken for the customary guard of the
spring, ''you see, comrades, our Colonel
has his own way of punishin' the boys.
One thing he wont let 'em do-he wont
let 'em get intoxicated. If they do,
they go into the gopher hole. Jim,
there, is in the gopher hole now. That
hole has a spring Mt the bottom. and
the water comes in pretty FAST and if
Jim wants TO keep dry, he's got to keep
dippin' all the time, or else stand in the
water up to his waist-and Jim isn't so
mighty fond o water, neither.-St
Nicholas.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02

An important meeting of the
Board of Health was held on We'd
nesday evening. To il were pre-
sented complaints against several par
ties who are putting in privy vaults
contrary to the ordinances of the
city and the Board of Health, and a
resolution was adopted directing the
Health Officer to see to it that these
vaults were made to comply with the
requirements of the ordinances, and
if this is not done within the space
ten days, the Board expressed de-
termination to commence proceed
ings under the penal provisions of
the ordinances at once. The city
was, also. divided into two health
districts, same as the judicial dis
tries, and Mr.. David Parker placed
in charge of the Ist district, and Mr..
John +. Mabin of the I'd district,
with special instructions to see that
the ordinances relative to privy
vaults are strictly complied with.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02
PROBATE ORDER.
STATE OF MICHIGAN, I ..
COUNTY OF SHIAwAssEE. 20


COUNTY OF SHIAwAssEE.
At session of the Probate Court for the County
of Shawassee holden ut the Probate Office. in the
City Of Corunna on Saturday the Goth day of DC.
tober, in the year one thousand eight hundred
and eighty-three.
PRESENT., A. A. HARPER Judge Of Probate.
In the matter of the Estate OF Byron Butterfeld,
and Frances May Butterfeld. minors
On reading and filing the petition, duly verified,
Of Gulielma Butterfed, guardian of said minors,
praying for therein set forth, that she may
be licensed to sell the real estate Of said minors in
In said petition described
Thereupon 1t is Ordered. That Monday the 10Th
day OF November next at ten o'clock In the fore
noon, be assigned for the hearing of said petition,
and that the heirs nc law of said minors, and all
other persons interested In said estate, required
TO appear az a session of said Court, then 10 be
holden at the Probate Office, In the city Of Corunna
and show cause II there anybe why the prayerof the
petitioner should not be granted;
And II is Further Ordered, that said petitioner
give notice TO the persons interested In said estate
OF the tendency Of said petition and the hearing
thereof by causing copy Of this order TO be pub.
lished In THE TfxEs, q newspaper printed and
circulated In said County OF Shiawassee for three
successive weeks, previous TO said day Of hearing.
"a true copy.) "A. HARPER, Judge OF Probate.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02
CYCLONES of Fire.

Every half mile or so brings 10 the
sight of the floating voyager OF the Au
Sable, writes Michigan correspondent
of the New York EUeni',g Post, an open
space in the forest many acres in ex-
tent. There are thick, blackened tree
trunks on the ground, protruding in all
directions from their shroud of green
underbrush. A more impressive spec
tacle are the dead pine trees still stand
ing in these open areas, black around
the roots, but reaching, straight as q
dart, for hundred feet in the air.
These are the gaunt skeletons of what
were once splendid living pines, now
killed by the forest fires which periodic
ally sweep through the Michigan wood
lands during drought. Not far below
the mouth of the Au Sable, and on the
other side of Saginaw bav. is the region
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02
THE MARKETS.

The d., G.. H. & M. railway Co.,
will give an excursion from Owosso
and points east to Detroit on Mon
day. The special train will leave
Owosso at 7 A. NJ, returning leave
Detroit at Gao p. NJ. The price Of
round trip tickets including admis-
sion to the Art Loan will be from
Owosso $500, Corunna $s.oo, Yer
non $I.S5, Durand SITS. We hope
a large number will avail themselves
of the opportunity to visit this Won
derful exhibition.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02
FARM CROPS AND PROCESSES,
HORTICULTURE 4 FRUIT-CROwING
LIVE AGRICULTURAL NEWSPAPER.

Although the Country Gentleman has been
Greatly Enlarged by increasing II size from 16 To
20 pages weekly, the terms continue as heretofore
when paid strictly In advance; One Copy, one year.
$3.50; Four Copies, $40, and additional copy for
the year free 60 the sender Of the Club; Ten
Copies, $20 and an additional copy for the year
free to the sender of the Club.
~ All New Subscribers for 1894, paying In adj
vance now, WILL RKcEIvE THE PAPkR WEEKLY,
from receipt Of remittance 20 January LIST, 1884,
without charge.
sIsrncImsN CorrKs FREs. Address
LUTHER TUCKER n SON, Publishers,
ALBANY. N Y.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02
A LADY's PERFECT COMPANION

PAINLESS CHILDBIRTH, new book, tells
how any woman may become mother Tcih-
omt m6oing any pain 'chaftprr. 1t also
tells how to prevent and overcome morning
sickness, swelled limbs, and all other evils
attending pregnancy. Physicians highly
recommend it as the wifc's true private COM
panion. Send two.cent stamp for full de-
scriptive circular, testimonials, and confiden-
tial letter sent in sealed envelope. Address
FRANK THOMAS & Co.. Pub, Baltimore,
Md.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02

A circus man in Europe has a new
way of raising money. He raffies off
his African lion at each town he visits.
In this style of rattle the victim is the
unfortunate winner. take your lion,"
says the honest circus man as he goes
to open the cage. The crowd STAN
pede. The unluckly owner, who finds
he cannot buy the cage, generally pays
the circus man to keep the brute.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02
Made ON PURPOSE.

One of those Mistakes Co Which are More Free
quent than Profitable.
''Why, my child, this is not BENSON'S CAP
CINE POROUS PLASTER" said n father TO his
little daughter, after examining a package she had
just brought from the drug store.
isn't it, Papa? I'm sorry, but asked the man
cents you gave me to pay for it WITH" exclaimed
the child positively. Maybe the drug store man
made mistake"
"Tll go round myself and see," was the gontle-
mans comment as he donned his coat and hat
why didn't you send me Benson's plaster, in
stead of this cheap and trashy tbing?"
why, thought that would suit you Just as well
"You thought you thought What business had
you to think? / don't pay you for thinking, but
for filling my order" said the indignant caller.
contemptuously 'There! take that thing back and
give me my money, I'll get what want elsewhere"
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02
1904 THE CULTIvATOR 1891
COUNTRY GENTLEMAN.
THE BEST OF THE
AGRICULTURAL WEEKLIES.

The Country Gentleman Is the leading journal of
American Agriculture. In amount and practical
value of contents, in extent and ability OF cores
pondence In quality of paper and style of publica
tion Il occupies the FIRST RANK. Ii Is believed
to have no superior in either of the three chief
divisions of
FARM CROPS AND PROCESSES,
HORTICULTURE 4 FRUIT-CROwINC,
LIVE STOCK AND DAlRYINC;
while IL also includes all minor departments of
rural interest, such as the Poultry Yard, Entomo-
logy, Bee-Keeping,. Greenhouse and Crapery,
Fireside Reading, Domestic Economy, and sum
mary of the News of the Week. Its Market Re-
ports unusually complete, and much attention
Is paid to the Prospects of the Crops, as throwing
light upon one OF the most important Of all ques-
tions-When to Buy and When to Sell. II Is
literally illustrated, and Is intended TO supply In
a continually increasing degree. and In the best
sense of the Term a
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02
EucJrwIrHoUT A TEACHER

NKUCICWITHOUT TEACHER! Soper's
wi UplVSoper's Instantateous Guide to Keys of
I'LL Piano and Organ. Price ST. VIII teach any
person TO play 20 pieces of music in one day.
You couldn't learn it from a teacher in q month
for $40. Try il and be convinced. Sample copy
will be mailed to any address on receipt of 2scts
in stamps by HEARNE & CO., Publishers, p O.
Box, 1897, New York
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02
III. b. PETERSON,
DENTIST.

IN YEARS PRACTICE IN OWOSSO.)
OFFICE Over Dinmick's stote, Washington
Street. REsIDENCE-Cor. Park and Williams
Streets Owosso, Mich.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02
BATTLE of
the BOOKS.

100000 VOLUMES the choicest literature of the
world 100-page Catalogue free. Lowest prices
ever known. Not sold by dealers. Not sold by
dealers. Sent for examination before payment on
evidence of good faith. JOHN b. ALDEN, PUB
Usher IS Wesley ST.. n. Y. L. o. Box 1927.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02
EIy's Cream Balm,

Unequalled for cold in the head.
Cream Balm has gained an enviable reputation
wherever known; displacing all other prepara-
tons. Send for circular containing full informs-
ton and reliable testimonials. BY mail, prepaid,
90 cents package--stamps received. Sold by all
wholesale aud retail druggists
ELY'S CREAM BALM CO, Oswego, N Y
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-02-14
SYMPATHETIC JUSTICE,

A gentleman was arraigned befor,
an Arkansas justice on a charge q
obtaining money under false pretan
ses. he had entered q store, pre-
'snu'oe 70 be a customer, but PROVED
70 De thief. "Your name is jim
L'ckmore," said the justice.
Eyes, sir" ::
And you ore charged with q
crime that merits a long term ia the
penitentiary'"
Yes, sir"
"And you are guilty ofthe crime?n
II am"
And you ask for no mercyw
"No, sir"
"You have had a great trouble
within the last two years?"
You have often wished that you
were dead2"
u have, please your honor"
You wanted to steal money
enough to take you away from Ar.
kansaw.
"You are right, judge"
III a man had stepped up and shot
you just as you entered the .,o,.
would you have said; "Thauk Won
STRIP w.
Yes, cir, I would. But, judge,
bow did you find out 50 much aho,,
me2"
"Soms time ago." said the iudoe
With solemn air, 81 was divorced
from my wife. Shortly after, Won
married her. The result is concln.
1--WE. / discharge you. Here, take
his - bill. You hav. suffered
enough. II Arkansas Gazette.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-02-14

ChAzE-Y.-What you gwiue ter do
wild dat ole Jug, Billr'
"GWine to take hit to Misse.."
Yah yah! What you reckon mis-.
'es wants wild ole jug watts bin
lynn out dar year?"
"De ol'er de better. De misoo.
gwlne ter put picters an iimcracl.
on dat ole jug. She'll be dat nro,,a
when she see bit she'll gimme two
bits. Yer see de wimmin fo,L. ~
got do notion dat de more o,e ,rna,.
dey can stick 'roun' on de mani.
de nicer bit looks, an de oder vim.
!. MIN comes in an dey cIaps DER
hans y an seys, Amt dat jis' splen.
d'd'9 Dey calls dat some sort A.
defamation"
"Um-m-mph! Well! some folks ia
mighty Gurus. Our house is all ia.
elevated wild Police News, On, dat
looks heap better'n lot ole ;nca
Am de 'oman ijit er is she crazv,,,
Eyes! she's got de ker.mic craze y
"Look yere, Bill, pse heerd dat ia
caschia' an Use g~ine ter leave 5;s
'onn. You beah me. pse had de
Ssller fever once. = Arkansawyer.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-02-14
757zAz4zA a. WEDNESDAY -

mouse that morning with his wedding
coat rusty and shiny, and hisstrou
sers frayed at the bottom, and bis
coat patched at the elbow. and the
nurse puts in his arms roll of fan.
ne' with baby hid in it, he holds it
A. he would a banana, and as be
looks at his girl wife, he tbinks
there are not provisions enough in
the hon'e to feed canary; a lump
comes into his throat, and he saws
TO himself that il he had it to do
over be would leave that little girl at
nome to grow up with her mother
and be would wait till lie had Sc to |
buy flannel and $40 to pa, a doctor.
Il Rising Dawn ga. Gazette.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-02-14

IT The Combination Buggy, leash price at factory,
SAOO.) OF which the bove cnt represents the Gear,
has become known as the very best for easy ridine
ana durable qualities. Years of most trying use,
IN private and in livery has abundantly proved this
faet These bugges are in every respect first elass
BENG manIfaetured BY the world renowned
COLUMBUS BUGGY COMPANY. of CO
lumbus, Ohio, whose work is everywhere &C
nowlsdged BY those who are acquainted with it
Before attempting to earn this BONANZA Prem.
ium We expect you to write to the COLUMBUS
BUGGY COMPANY, Columbus, o.. who
viii forward full description of this buggy accom-.
panied with hundreds Of testimonials Space
here will allow Us to only describe the peculiar
merit OF the longitudinal central spring, marked
"A" On cut This prevents the torsionaIstrain On
the end springs which causes them to become
loose, and rattle, and frequently break besides
It adds to the elasticity of the springs PRODUCING
easy riding qualities. Only rst class material i
used-steel tires and axles, timmings of neyee.
fading cloth or fancy leather.
For sample copies Of Cry AND COUNTRY, Prem.
asm Lists, and Special Terms to Agents, addr1g
CITY AND COUNTRY,
a17, 2I9, & asa u. High Street,
t4enGou this paper, C0IUIsfRHIR n
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-02-14
A REMARKABLE MAINE G1R1.

In the plantation of Oakfeld
Aroostook county, Mainc, there is .
girl VINO possesses the faculty Of
spelling. difficult words backward
without hesitation. Her name Is
Hattie Al. Drew; she has passed he,
18th birthday and reside. with he,
parents who are people Of moderate
education, living upon farm.
F" nile this little girl lie bright and
smart as the average of her mates
sue never attracted any particular
attention until, little more than a
year ago, it was accidentally discov
cred that she possessed the singular
gift OF spelling any word with which
she is acquainted backward and
without hesitation. At a spelling
match recently held in the school
which she attends, without any warn
ing, she stood before the audience
some ten minutes, spelling words Sc
lscted at random, some of their dif3.
Guilty OF combination, bat withou.
any previous knowledge of what they
we're to be, rapidly and correctly, ex- |
sept one or two which she could mn.
spell In the proper way, and when
9romPtedssssiu the correct spelling
you'd Immediately reverse, it.
among the words which she spelled
'ere these: Galaxy, syzygy, astron-
my, robin. photography, invisible,
&C., and many other words equally
8 long and difficult. All of these
'ere spelled as rapidly as the eye )
onld follow, without single mis-.
lace M nt Of letter. Has any other
er'on without any training been
ole to 90 this similar feats? In ad-
'tional 1t may be said, upon the ties ;,
mony of the girl, that she can see
'e words in her mind, and knows no ;,
ason, Why she should not read the
tiers backward as,in the usual wav
Boston Journal,
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-02-14
2oetTn.
MATRIMONIAL.

Little:.Misss. Feat herweight.
Minciug along,
Naughty and arrogant,
Train q yard long;
TOO proud to notice
Shop windows or wares.
Rude and.unladylike,
Putting on airs.
z Young Mr.. Nobody,
Living quite fast,
boasting OF Pedigree,
Rank in the past!
Nursing with fondness
A few silkcn hairs,
Leaning on relatives,
Putting on airs.
, Little It Miss Featherweight
Meets Mr.. N;
CANCEL in petticoats"-
Sweetest of men,"
Giggle and bad1nage,
Love unawares;
Each to the other one,
Putting on airs.
Young Mr.. Nobody
Marries the maid;
She blushing tenderIy,
He half afraid.
NOW we're twoiNoboaics-
Doves 90 in pairs .
Spending the honeymoon,
Putting on airs.
One year has passed away,
- Masks are thrown down;
She proves a virago,
He but clown.
Strangers the Melodies
Meet on the stairs; \
Void is the pedigree,
Gone are the airs!
-(Exchans
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-02-14
s

GOOD ADV1cE.-You will proven,
and cure the greater part Of the ills
that affiict mankind in this OF anv
section, if you keep your stomach,
liver and kidneys in perfect working
order. There is no medicine known
that does this as surely as Parker's
Ginger Tonic. 1t will keep your
blood rich and pure, and give you
good health at little cost. See other
column.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-02-14

"A SMALL boy was once chided
oy his venerable grandmother bo.
cause ne preferred lying abed to 90.
ing 70 the Sabbath school. "Grand
mother said the boy, ".he Christ.
mas and santa Claus season having
passed, | have concluded not TO wor
~ any more about my immor,a,
soui,s welfare until jpst before the
sunday school picnic season recurs,,
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-02-14

Vanderbilt University, Nashville r.,.
Da.t hIy to the most excellent qualities Of Prof
Haroys Prophya Tactic Fluid As disns-c,e " [.oi i
. assssgen' is both theoretically and practically
oI,aa,sd ~M Any PREPARATION with which am &C.
Darbys Fluid fs Recommo,as,
p bon. ALExAkpER H. STEPHENS. Of Geora ~
s,rs ev; eT a F. Deems, DID,, Church e he
R oS; LAac9sFE Columbia Prof, uniyersisy.sc
kev GEO. F. PIERCE, Bishop NJ. E. I Cb,.nty;
INDISPENSABLE TO EVERY uo..u
Perfectly harmless. Used internally or
r, externally for Man or Best y
h,i ne Fluid has been thoroughly tested. and W.
here esmsd e Fs s 5S i has done
'0'uss's' pamphlet OK send to the propretors. ''
J. II. ZEII.!N s Co.
manufacturing Cheusiss, PHlI.ADEIpu,a