Smyrna times., 1883-09-19
The Bad Boy.

81 am thy fathers ghost" said q
sheeted form i'll the doorway of the |
grocery, one evening, and the grocery
man got behind a cheese box, while the
ghost continued in sepulchral voice,
" doomed for Il certain time to walk
the night" and, waving a chair round,
the ghost strobe up to the grocery man,
and with the other ghOstly hand reach
ed into box Of figs.
mo, you amt no ghost" said the
grocery man, recognizing the bad boy.
Ghosts do not so prowling around
groceries stealing figs. What do you
mean by this sinful masquerade bust
ness? My father never had no ghost"
"Oh, we have struck it now" said
the bad boy, as he pulled off his mask
and rolled up the sheet he had worn
around him. 1--WE are going to have
amateur theatricals to raise money to
have the church carpeted, and am
going to boss the job"
"You don't say" answered the gro
Gerry man, as he thought how much he
could sell to the church people for a
strawberry and ice cream festival, and
how little he could sell for amateur
theatricals. "Who is going into it and
what you going to play"
Pa and ma, and me, and the minis
ter, and three choir singers, and my
chum, and the minister's wife, and two
deacons, and an old maid are rehears-
ing, but we have not decided what to
play yet. They all want to play diff
terent tale, and am fixing it so they
can all be satisfied. The minister
wants to play Hamlet pa wants to
play Rip VanWinkle, ma wants to play
Mary Anderson the old maid wants
to play Il boarding school play, and the
choir singers want an opera the minis
ter's wife wants to play Lady Mac
beth, and my chun and me want to
play a double song and dance, and !
ana going to give them all show. We
had rehearsal last night, and | am
the only one able to be around to-day
You see they have all been studying
different plays and they all wanted tC
talk at once. We let the minister sal
in first. He had on a pair of his wife,
black stockings, and mantel made O
a linen buggy lap blanket, and he wore
mason's cheese knife such as these
fellows with poke bOnnets and white
feathers wear when they get an invita-
ton to funeral or an excursion. Well
you never saw Hamlet murdered thu
way he did it. His Interpretation o
: the character was that Hamlet was
dude who talked through his nose, ant
while he was repeating Hamlet's solil
Oquy, pa who had come in with an oil,
E hunting suit on, as Rip NanWinkle
went to sleep, and he didn't wake u
till Lady Macbeth came in, in the slice
walking scene. She couldn't find
knife, SO | took slice Of watermelo
, and sharpened it for her, and she med
a mistake in the one she was to stall
: and she stabbed Hamlet i'll the nee
with a slice of watermelon, and tn
| core of the melon fell on pas face as h
f lay asleep as Rip, and pa woke up an
. felt the COB Of watermelon on his fac
| and he thought he had been murdered
. and ma came in with hop, skip an
c jump, as Parthenia, and threw he
: arms around a deacon who was goin
to play the grave-digger, and began
call him pet names, and pa was ma,
i and the choir singers they began
V sing I" In the North sea lived whale
G and then they quit acting. You'd
!. dide to see Hamlet. The piece
e watermelon went down his neck, an
r Lady Macbeth went off and left it
S the wound under his collar, and N
It had to pull it out, and Hamlet said Il
n seeds and the juice was running dow
IS inside his shirt, and he said he wOuldn
It play if he was going to be stabbed Wi
l. slice of melon, so while his wife W;
V getting the melon seeds out of his nee
is and drying the juice on his shirt,
\. sharpened q cucumber for Lady Ma
Ii beth to use for a dagger, but Haml
n kicked on cucumbers, too, and l hi
II more trouble than any stage manag
" ever had"
n, "By gum," said the grocery ma
+; 81 would like to have seen that min
20 ter as Hamlet. Didn't he look funny
h Funny! Well, l should remal
IN He seemed to predominant. But
ID the next rehearsal l ana going to wo
Id in an act from Richard the Thirt
le and my chum is going to play the G.
K naman of the "Danites," and GUT
he we will take the cake. Say, l want
80 work in an idiot somewhere. HI
of would you like to play the idiot. Y
IL wouldn't have to rehearse or al
i'll thing"
e. At this point the bad boy was seen
r. go out of the grocery real spry, folio
10 ed by box of wooden clothes-pins Il
or the grocery man had thrown after hi
n, PpcIjS SIM