National Republican., 1883-10-17
CURRENT GOSSIP.

range'-NG0 Orleans Pic1yune
Nor what it is cracked up to boa worm
eaten nut.-NeO York Journal.
THE merchant who sells for cash belongs
to the nobility Cincinnati Traueler.
SoMNAMBULIsM is believed to be an uncon-
seious trance-actlon .-someruille Journal
OUT west when bear gets into hog pen
there is trouble bruin for the pigs-OR Gin Der
rict.
BE careful how you handle matches. When
you strike them they always fare up. Fuse sec
this. Keep 1t dark. philadelphia Bulletin.
THE deepest mourning on record is that of
an Indiana widow who, since the death of her
husband, drinks nothing but black toa.-LooeH
! Courier.
WE solomnly believe that half dozen of
Carter IIarrisons democratic speeches would
place Alabama in tho list Of doubtful states-Chi-
| cago News
'IsNr it singular" said q visitor, gazing at
Niagara falls, "thnt the little moisture that arises
from that vast cataract should be mistT'-Cincin-
matt Saturday Ni0M.
Mr.. FORAKER says he feels as if he had
just mad @ n trip through the Niagara whirlpool.
Apropos of this, there is no doubt his ticket is
Made Of the Missed.-Chicdgo Nees.
BANQUET was given last week to Chief
Justice Appleton, Of Maine, OIL the occasion of his
| retlfcmcnt, Hlcr thirty years service, Every
county in the state was represented
THERE are in New York city S24 miles of
gas pipes, 4s6 miles Of water pipes, SOl miles of
sewer pipes, AZ miles of steam supply pipes. aud
10 miles of underground electric wires.
IT is thought that it can now be proved be-
yound n doubt that the robber of Miss Teller's
trunk on the Willard train was not one Of the
foreign impOrtations of Mr. Rufus Hatch.
Mr.. FUGATE was thrown from passenger
train in Boyd county, Ky, for not paying his fare,
but he managed to fire his gun before the train got
out ofsIght, wounding one of the brakemen.
THE most surprising feature about the rob-
berry of Wm. II. English's house in indianapolis
the other night was the fact that the robbers got
away without losing anything. Chica0o NeDs.
MRS LANGTRY told an interviewer that
she hoped to bring her father with her, as well as
her mother, but at the last minute he found he
could not spare the time. She said nothing about
her husband
A SPANISH musician in New York tried to
hang himself with cord of fiddle strings role
together. but was cut down in time TO save lii
life, Ills "exe3ution" in this instance was poor.
-ConmCrCidl Butiem.
IT is said that out of every one hundred
and nine female school teachers in Lawrence
county seven marry every year. How awful it
must be for those seven women " marry every
year.-LOUetL CJHlGT.
A STEAM buggy has been invented which
will run mile IN three minutes. The horse and
carriage need not go, however. They will still be
in. demand for love. making and funerals.-
Burlington Free Press.
THE Spartans were renowned for their
courage, but even Spartan heroism pales before
the courage Of the woman who has resolved that
her last years bonnet is good enough for this
hll.-ChicG0o Telegram
A CHICAGO boy has q brilliant artistic Ca
reer before him. He has already reached tho
highest tart, and his mother has been compelled
to buy burglar proof safe to preserve her pre-
serycs.-Chcdq0 telegram
A NEW YORK widower aged so and a
, widow aged 70 were married the other day. We
suppose this is fair illustration of what is meant
when persons are spoken of as living to green
old age.-Phtlade.phtd Chronicle,
> YOUNG miss Of 16 asks what is the proper
thing for her TO do when she is serenaded by a
: party OF gentlemen at q late hour. Either unite
, tho dog or else empty basin Of slops out Of the
l window Each will be found to be effective.
THERE has been added to the collection in
Lady Brassey's case at the Fisheries exhibition,
London,a casket containing the eighty -four gulneas
which were found in Lord Nelson's pocket at tho
time he received his fatal wound at Trafalgar.
4 SOMEBODY says, in an English paper, that
q HTeuCu girls lullOCeHL scDse OF
f the word, because 1t has no equivalent in their
language. We didn't know that we were SO de-
= pendent upon the dictionary for our fun.--Bur-
iin9toa Free Press.
n A RURAL debating society is now struggling
a with the question: "ResoUed, That hunting for
Capt Kidd's buried treasure is surer road to
: wealth than buying lottery tickets" The opinion
of the society appears to be pretty evenly divided
j. -NOrriStOwn Herald
!. Victor HUGO told an American visitor re-
o Gently that he regarded Edgar A. Poe as tho
: "prnce of American literature" He thinks that
J. Mr.. Whittier is 'womany versifler," Mr.. Lowell
u "smart talker," and Oliver Wendell Holmes
y "aillictingly laughable."
r THE Minnesota Methodist Ministers con-
ference, by close vote, resolved that "the time
j. has for all friends of prohibition to cast
their ballots for only such parties and candidates
n as are unequivocally committed to the utter ex-
d termination of the liquor traffic by the power Of
;, the law.
u EVERY subscriber for country paper can
do much for the paper by becoming reporter for
}, it, That would greatly help the editor in getting
q out readable sheet. The trouble with the
average subscriber is that he is not content with
q being reporter. He wants to write the edlto-
'ss rials.-NeO orleans Picavune.
=. A PATENT medicine advertisement reads,
u FIFTY dollars reward to any one who will pro
n
N not cure" This generous offer will undoubtedly
occasion great rivalry among the leading pro-
N ducers fliver compl aint and stimulate them to
le renewed exertions-LOweA Citizen.
70 THEsteam was not on at the stock exchange
!. early yesterday morning, and one broker coming
" out meeting another about to enter, accosted him
"a "a in this suggestive way: "You better not go in
10 there; it's cold enough to freeze brass monkey "
-, But the other got even by retorting, well,
W. W. wonder how you got out aliYe !"-NeiO York Com
40 nlercidl.
n, PULLMAN, ILL.,, the manufacturing suburb
of of Chicago has successfully tried novel system
20 of sewerage. The town is difficult to drain, lying
p on the prairie without rise fall and without
to streams But sewers were built. emptyiug into a
" sunken tank, from which the sewerage was
le pumped through twenty inch main to a farm
IN three miles away. The cost of the system wa
Id $4,000, and the farm returns a profit of $500
year, or more than per cent on tho investment
;, THE French ministry of public works has
he drawn up an account of the number Of accidents
upon French railways during 1881. There were
In accidents trains out of total of 09i POT journey
Il. performed and l797295s7 travellers carried. o
1d these % passengers were killed and 2S2 wounded
10 or proportion of traveller killed out of 7lS9
rs lsi, and one wounded out of G37S39. The return
IS does not include persons killed or wounded
IS through their own careessneks the accidents
ir.fl flNuax nnIn