Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-08-30
RRIGHT BITS.

ZONE is alone in a crowd when one
suffers. or when one loves" says phil
Osopher. 1t is different when one has
corns.-Ou Citg Blizzard.
THE TRADE dollar is again coming into
circulation, which is rather hard on the
people who have worked off their surplus
stock on the contribution boX.-ROchester
Post-ErpresS.
IL FRANCE, women live an average
thirteen years longer than men. This IS
as it should be. 1t is only woman who
looks well in a mourning costume.-De-
trOit Free Press.
THE high school girl condemns the
phrase stumble to the racket as vile
slang. She says ''precipitate in the direc-
ton Of the clamOr'' is a more elegant eX-
pressiOn.-Ou City Derrick.
THE IDEA of my being jealous Of Miss
Smith" exclaimed Mrs. Brown, indig-
nantly. The idea Of my being jealous Of
her when / think so much of her" Yes;
but chat do you think|' asked Mr..
Brown.-BOStOp Transcript.
Mrs. BAsCoM's daughter wrote home
from the seaside that it was ''just full Of
girls of t0n." and the good lady in reply
ing cautioned her daughter not to eat too
much rich food, or she would soon weigh
a ton Huntington Free Press.
THE usual howl of garbage on the
streets is now raised" says an exchange.
We always knew garbage smelled pretty
loud, but when it smells loud enough to
raise up its voice and howl, it's time to
see the Street COmmissiOner.-OU city
Blizzard.
SOPHRoNIA: Can we give you a rhyme
for oysters! Certainly
The month draws nigh that has an R
The female heart with JOY stirs;
q Anticipation forward points
To sundry treats Of oysters.
-SOmeTrtLie journal.
TEACHER: 'What do you learn by the
translation of the prophet ElishaW Dull
boy: THAT he saved his funeral eX-
penses." Teacher Severely: James,"
Dull boy: That's wOt my pa says: he's
an undertaken, he is, and / guess he
knows. Pa lows he wouldn't like to have
folks 90 off that way nowadays. '-BoSton
Transcript
"DIDN'T ! tell you not to ask Uncle
James for money?' said his mother, cast
ing hard look at her son. NOM
What! Didn't | tell you this morning
not to ask him!'' You said not to ask
him while you were around ''Jeems. -
But to strike him for dollar while you
was out, an you would give me nickel
of it.-ArkdnSdlc I'rdUeier.
girl said SOmerville man to another
the other day. "Ies," was the reply;
''yOu see my wife's sister, out in CalitOr-
MIA, has Just lost her husband, so as we
had to 20 into mourning, we discharged
our white girl and hired a cOlOred one.
She kind of hafmoniZes with the mourn
ing, as it were.-.S0WerUjHe JOUrH1t.
4 SCHOOL Of poor children, having read
in the Bible the denunciatiOn against
hypOcrites who 'strain at a gnat and
swallow a camel" were afterward exam
ined 10y a benevolent patroness as to their
recOllectiOns of the chapter. Nv hat, in
particular, was the sin Of the Pharisees,
childrenE" said the lady. "Aiting camels,
my lady" was the prompt reply.-Gtds-
g0tr EceHiRq Times.
LAW, CAN you tell me, Miss Fair, :
Queried George Washington LaDude.
after brief period Of intense study, "Yhy
the-aw-POntO's caudal appendage is
like q coming eyent?" NO, Mr.. LaDude."
well. aw. it is something to a cur, don't
YOU knOw-ha! har' Very good, Mr..
LaDude. very good. But can you tell me
why your hat is like a bad habit?" ''Why
err, aw: well, no-why is it," BE
cause it is something to a void "Oh.
WEAKLY, now. Miss Fair, you are just too
bad for anything, don't you knoW|'-
The JHdge.
"CAN you put up a prescription"
asked a leading light of the Good Tenn
plars of druggists apprentice. No,
sir; amt got that far yet, and the boss
has gone to lunch" I'm in hurry and
would like to have this filled" said the
customer, laying a prescription on the
counter. 'Oh, l know what that is, said
the boy, Frightening up; 1.-THE deacons of
the church around the corner come in
here every sunday and get it for the
colic.V And the boy handed down bot
tie of SpirjtuS .frumeati and set tumbler
before the custOmer.-Saa Francisco