The Evening critic., 1883-04-05
THE CRITIC ABROAD,

I'LL Cnl IlO HDnOHO,
Said au old political stager to the Critic
yesterday;
~ will make this prediction with the
confidence of prophet of old: The solid
South will not break up until 1888"
"Wby not?"
Because it will never break up until
after the Democrats elect a President"
Will this bust things?'
This will bust things"
"Wby?"
because no Democratic President will
be able TO satisfy the demands for Office
high and low that will come to him from
the South. Having elected the President
the Southern Democrats will expect to be
rewarded accordingly. There will be aspi-
rants TO Cabinet positions and first-class
missions by the hundreds seekers after
ships, consulships, territorial appointments
and the like will swarm up from the
solidifed section by thousands,
while those who will take
anything they can get from Secretary of
State or the Court of st. James down to an
old pair of trousers will be as num-
berless as the sands of the sea-
shore. Added to these will be a mighty
and clamorous tnrong Of North men.
The chicken pie will not go around. Dis
appointment will be the portion of the
greater number, and the solid South will
be riven as by lightning"
"Well, are there 10 States that will go
Republican in 'S42'
"Virginia, sure North Carolina, prob
ably"
How about West Virginia2'
mot much hope"
And TENNESSEE"
Too many Bourbon Republicans"
"Wbat are they?"
"Ob, Republicans who won't let an eX-
Confederate vote Republican ticket"
MANY Of them?"
"The mountains of East Tennessee are
full of them"
Democrats sure to elect President in
SAP
dead sure, if they don't make howling
idiots of themselves next winter"
"Sorry?"
mot very"
"Why not 2"
Republicans need good licking to
teach them some sense"
What do you mea-," but the old stager
hurried of to catch Herdic.
-:o:-
"Tbat was pretty ingenious arrange
ment after all, that Jeanette investigation,
don't you think ?" said naval officer to
the Critic yesterday.
How SOP" asked the Critic.
"Why, you remember, don't you, that
told you last fall that this investigation
was gotten up by some of the parties con-
nected with the cruise, for the purpose of
| lionizing themselves and that it would
| develop nothing but publicity for the crew
and officers? Well, the Investigation is
closed, and it transpires as l pre-
dicted. There would be just as
much sense in investigating the objects of,
and the means employed by, every Off
Ger who leads an army into battle. In this
day and age of investigation, if we should
have war it would be necessary to estab-
lish scores of boards ofinquiry to investigate
and inquire into every battle fought. Nc
one could be held responsible for the fate
of the Jeanette; there was nothing ir
regular charged and for what purpose wa:
the investigation? To advertise these mer
and to give somebody an opportunity to pas
encomiums upon the heroes. Certainly
there were acts of heroism performed, but
Congress should have acknowledged them
not board ofinquiry. 1t could have beer
done by Congress in an hour; but the shor
time Congress would have held the matter
up was the objection. Great farce, ?"
| -:o:-
Another force of architects visited th,
Washington Monument to-day and exam
ined the ground about it and took tn
bearings the wind will have upon that gi
gantic pile of stone. They concluded tina
but very few winters will be necessary +
give it flag-pole crookedness; that it ]
the nature of the earth at its base that
the trouble to be feared.
| nf IN Jox fhn
the President has in mind reorganization
Of the Cabinet, and that Secretary Chand
Ter is giving him some wholesome, or o
least vigorous, advice on the subject tina
the Secretary favors the scheme, and tina
the matter will be fully discussed by then
before their return from the South. Th
member believes q Southern man will g
into the Cabinet and that the trip to Flor
ida isnot without political meaning.
-:o:-
An Ohioan to the Critic to-day gave ez
Representative Tom Young foreign mi,
sion and pocketed his grip-sack ready for d,
first of May. He said Tom is aware of tb
plum that is to fall into his lap, aud thl
he will go to Southern mission.
To Washington newspaper correspond
ents Overworked fellows-The bi
passed by the Pennsylvania Legislature ye
terday, prohibiting the issuance of free pass
on Pennsylvania railroads, applies only
persons holding State offices or position
connected with the Pennsylvania Legi
lature There is some sweet in life left f
you yet
Dinner up Among the Clouds.
WHITE MOUNTAIN, N. H.-A. II. Barron of IL
renowned Twin Mountain House and Faba
House, who employs one hundred and hf
: horses, accords his preference 10 81. Jacob
. on over all Other modloines. as q euro Z