Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1883-07-26
HERE IND THERE.
Striking Tor high pay-sullivan the

A Hartford boy can immitate the sound !
Of dog fight perfectly, and twice the
police have bad to rescue him from
orowds.-Bosion Post.
"Don't be afraid" said a snob to a
German laborsr, "sit down and make
yourself my equal" 81 would hail to
pillow my prain out" was the reply OF
the Tenton.
Did you ever think what You would do
il you had Vanderbilt's income f-Nor-
ristoon Register. Well, no ; but we have
often wondered what Vanderbilt would
do if he had our income PHILADELPHIA
Nesps.
There is time for tears Count
"Don't you dance at all this evening,
madame H'' "Not till midnight" "Why
40 :" "Bseause to-day is the anniversary
OF my husbands desth.-Fliegenae
Bittter.
'tMy DEAR" said fond wife, "when
We were engaged l always slept with |
your last letter under my pillow" "And |
l." murmured her husband, soften went |
to sleep over your letters. "-Eieoated |
Raiioay Review.
Said dapper young college student to |
Secretary Cobb, at the late meeting of the
Michigan General Association, "Will they
allow man out West to wear silk
hat 7" "Yes, sir but they will want to
know what he's got under it,"
A oolored brother down South, on
being oomplimented by Northern tour
ist upon the Respondent moonlight at
Beaufort, s. c., replied, with devout, up
lifted eyes, "Ah, boss, you should ev
seen dis moon beior' de wah ~
A humorous sketch in the August
Century, called "The Silk Dress Story"
| contains this happy variation on an old
pr0verb: "a true Bostonian ia one who
when he is in Rome does as the Bostonians
| do.''
An English servant girl who had re-
| turned from the United States to visit
her friends at home was told that she
"looked really aristoerstio.' To which
she responded ; "Yes, in America all of
us domestics belong to the hire class"
| a president of woman's convention
in Boston allied upon we'll known minis
ter to speak. He made the usual excuses
but finally said well, I'll venture a
few feeble remarks." "That's all We
expect" politely answered the lady.
GLOW much did you pay for your new
dress p asked Mrs. Smith. Eight cents
yard they asked 10 cents" why"
said Mrs. Smith, sit is just like mine,
isn't iti But did better than you. They
asked me Is cents, and / got it for IL
cents. | got oil more than you. "-Er.
change.
''Rlast the luck /" cried the burglar,
as he turned his dark lantern ON the
handful of silver he had soooped from the
vest pocket OF banker. "Blast the
luck If here amt six trade dollars
have my opinion of any government that
puts up these games on Teller l''-
Hdtchmdn.
Scene in a store: Lady comes in ard
begins looking over some goods. Pro-
prietor suddenly hears his call on the
telephone and goss to it. Lady
nquiringly-"These pieces are just about
, the same, aren't they ?" Proprietor,
talking into the telephoue-''Y ~
Lady, musingly-"l thought so."-
,, Le,cet Citizen.
"And the gentleman who catches the
} ball." said Ausbsl; "why does he veal
. mask ~ And Anabel looked upon he,
cousin Ned's face with becoming prid,
t when he promptly answered "That is t.
protect his face, Bell; an ugly mne
4 wouldn't harmOnize with nice pitcher
you ."-Boston Transcript.
A picked nine from the lawyers o
Washington met a similar nine represent
ing the lawyers Of Baltimore the othe
7 day, and played game Of base ball
< The Wsshingtonians came out victors
/ the umpire preferring to conoede any
t thing they demanded to listening to ak
!. day arguments.-Bos;onI ost.
4 The whiting collar days are come,
8 The hottest Of the year,
: When people sweat,
And gtuan to get
q A glass Ol cooling beer
e Tho circus and the organ man
4 Drop in upon tho scene
The small boys pants
II Their holes enhance
a | Upon tho base ball green.
-WHtdnNpon BIUdhJdsi 1dbic.
a The bsrOnous has a charming littl
If daughter, hnt who is terribly indiscreei
IA The other DAY, in the midst of recep
r | ton, baby cried and writhed on accoun
r OF the toothaohe. Her mother tried t
"a console her. "There, my darling, b
e reasonable don't cry your toothach
!. will pass away" GLOW will it ~
}. away 2' replied baby, her voice broker
d by sobs. 81 can't take my steeth out a
q you can, mamma u
v "Jabez," said his wife Rharpley, "tha
Il man yon hired last week ia down wit
"a the lock aw. Now | want to know
il that's anything ketohin' P'' And Jabe
,e looked at her with tears in his eyes an
At said in mournful tones, ooh, no. Nc
(. No. Alas, no faint ketchin'." An
IA he says, although she won't believe II
r. that he doesn't know what made her 6
70 outrageousIy mad about it.-Bmli ngto
.. liamheye.
Al A Paris Newspaper which recently al
a. nouuced the death OF we'll know
4. writer, received yesterday the tollowiD
10 note "Sir, YOU announce in You
d valuable paper this morning that hav
u, ceased to exist. Your journal Is To
Vi serious aud too wail-informed for the ia,
u. not to be trus. only you have iorgott4
ia to meution that | am so frames short
0. pay my funeral expenses. rely On you
Kindness tn receive that sum by rutur
Of post. The b4ceased."
re "DO you ever resd poetry - ~ k.l ii
II new pastor Of good, bnt jtiteia
deacon. "k.ad poultry, air No, sir
but feed 'rm regular" he repli-,
The parson silently pass"d On, wouderiI
what manner OF people be had to minist,
~ and gazed with hewildcrd air at Vi
sc retrsatng dominic. Theu he softly ssi
e, to himself: Read poultry ha la
y, ha Well III lie dnrnsl !"--Nen ",
=; Commercial Id ertiiscr.
IN Lord Kenyon thus Addressed a hi
20 honest butler, vino had he4n G0nyicted
ID stealing large quantities of vine from h
nd masters cellar: 'Prisoner at the lis
as ynu stand convicted, on the most c0ncl,
to sive evidence, of a crime of iusxpressib
OF atrOcity---a crime that defiles the sscie
Ill springs nf domestic confidence, and ia ca
it culatei to strike alarm into the breaHt
of avery Englishman who invests largely
rt the choieer viuteges of Southern EurOp
r. Like the serpent Of old, you have stun
is the hand Of your protector. F0rtuua
in having genefuua employer, yo
might, without dishonesty, have ooi
tinued to supply your wretehed wife an
children with the comforts Of sutliciel
rs prosperity, and even with some OF I'll
1u Injuries of ailluenG- hut, dead to ever
90 claim of natural affection, and blind
az your own real interest, you hurat throua
H. all the restraints of religion and morality
u and have for many years been teatherin
~ your nest with your masters bottles"
ne The lewiston, Maine, Journal ia respoi
40 sible for the following story At recer
81, local temperance meeting a speaker,
dwelling upon the degradation caused /
the appetite for liquor, said he knew
~ man who drank to such an extent til,
", his whole person seemed impregnate