The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-07-27
MISCELLANEOUS.

The value of the products Of Texas.
sold outside the State for the past year,
was nearly $50, OOO, 600, and this. year
will show no falling of.
lin the next four months 5000 Nor
mon converts from Europe are expected
in New York. Why not strain the anti
.pauper immigration order and send
them back p-Utica IN ~ Herald.
"A brother of Professor Henry Rug
giles, of Dartmouth College, said, on
going West twenty years ago, You
will never hear from me unless can.
come back rich" All trace of him was
lost. He has Just returned with his VOW
well kept. IN Y. Sun.
Goethe condemned the practice Of
congratulation upon marriage. ut is,'r
he said, ''as absurd as congratusating a
man on having drawn lottery ticket
before you know whether it is prizs
or q blank"
An esteemed New Orleans conteul-
porary declares that dignity kills a pic
mic. Such may be the case in the South
Up this way heavy shower of rain,-
lasting about an hour, would kill the
most undignified picnic deader than the
middle mackerel in the barrel--Chi-
cago Herald. tKAn
: 1t is said that nature has written q
letter of credit on some mems faces
which is honored everywhere it is pre-
sented. The New York Commercial
Advertiser conjectures that perhaps that
is the reason why barkeeper always
sets out a bottle before red-nosed man
without asking any questions. =.
"A pair of disconsolate California.
sweethearts agreed to commit suicide
simultaneously, so as to get in the other
world that companionship which was
denied them here. The girl resolutely
drowned herself, but the man lacked
pluck. However he was killed next
day in railroad accident, and the SEN
timental comment is that his death was
deserved.-San francisco Chronicle.
He was looking for the cashier, and
asked the paying teller if Mr.. Blank was
in. ''Gone to the springs" was the
reply in the terse manner and courteous
tones usual to bank, hotel and various
other kinds of clerks. "How much i
it?" asked the visitor. The teller didn't
seem to catch on.-San Francisco Post
"A lady from Boston upon entering
the East River on board of Sound
steamer asked the names of the large
institutions as they passed, and feeling
warm current of air sweeping off from
shore remarked it. At this moment her
informant said: Sand this is He'll
Gate" II thought as much" she re-
piled, and sought the seclusion the
cabin affOrded.-N. Y Graphic.
Fishers Landing, on the st. Law
renee, has sea serpent. 1t was seen.
seeing what he supposed to be log,
took his boat and went out to get it for
firewood. When some little distance
from the supposed log, what was his
surprise to see it coming toward him.
with wide open mouth and displaying
row of teeth about three inches long
Chicago Times.
Sam Carroll, a Kentucky ten-year-
old, was in the habit of lying down in
the road and compelling transfers to
drive around him, was at last crushed
by the wheels of wagon loaded with
corn. He had four ribs broken and an
ugly cash cut on his breast For
while he looked more like corpse than
anything else, but the next day he was
out on the ash hopper playing the jews
harp.-Gticago Tribune.
Some philosopher has said that inc
thoroughly occupied man was ever I'M
happy" We have our doubts about
that. As rule it may be all right, but
there are exceptions. We remember
seeing a young man sit down upon a
hornets nest once, when the hornets
were at home. For time he was the
most thoroughly occupied young man
we ever saw; and if he wasn't unhappy,
appearances are deceiving, that's all
MiddletoWn Transcript.
Great preparations are being made
for driving the last spike of the North
ern Pacific Railroad about September
1. There will be 400 people invited,
including number in Europe, and a
special train is to run from New York
to the place where the track-laying
meets. President Willard will strike
the first blow ON the spike, and be fol-
lowed by other men interested in,the
enterprise. The spike itself is already
made, of solid gold. and it will be
driven with an ebony-handled sledge Of
solid Chicago Journal.