Omaha daily bee., 1883-01-20
property. s2,97I. S13; total oort,i1u,ions,
$8l1, 209. AZ.
-
I'M pInTIMS.

Senator Ben Wade med to say that reli.
gion without hell was pork witbon. salt.
II hope you say your prayers every
night" remarked the good pastor to Miss
Shoddy. Indeed 1 don't" was the reply;
''pop's too stingy to buy me G prayer
rug"
Wrong Uses Of the b ihIe" Is the title
Of o new lecture by Q New England clergy.
man. 1t presumably refers to the perni.
oious custom Ct pressing autumn leaves be.
tween the pages Of the book.
A minister who was speaking about
heaven said: mo feeble idjom Of earth
can describe or portray the beauties Of that
place" He was ready Co SCALP q reporter
the next dOy, who rendered the sentence
mo feeble idiot Of earth" etc.
A religious ira, I, called "Put Not Your
Trust in Princes" was thrown into the "a.
loon Of O simple old German. He read the
title and toliloqulzed: "Vell, I don't put
some dtost In princes. Dey must pay der
cash in dis chop chust der same % der wife
mans"
A Portland revivalist Is by business an
the midst OF o fervid exhortation to Elm.
ners: 'Twenty.n nine I've got; thirty ehall
/ have 'em? Bless the Lord! Tsenty.nine
are saved; who will come next? Shall ]
have thirty"
The sums Of money re,lized from the
sale OF tho eggs Of a certain Georgia her
are relisiously devoted by the birds owner
TO the missionary cause. She possibly
does not know that she Is 'lsyipg' ul
treasures In heaven, and II she did know
1t she probably would ask for nothing mere
than . Henry Ward.
A Wisconsin farmer and deacon wat
caught dumping q heavy stone from hi.
the stock yard. He declared before
| church committee that some enemy hsd
put the extra weight In his wagon, bu,
there was plenty Of evidence that the SAM
thing had happened every day for . week.
The prayer at the daily opening Of the
session Of the New York state nsiembly
costs just %. Inasmuoh 90 the money /,
expended for salary for Q chaplain, and
since It IL not exactly desirable to dispense
with the observance, II has been suggested
that . saying might be made by awarding
the Job TO that aspiring clergyman whose
bid should DO tho lowest.
Says Evangelist Barnes In BROOKLYN,
nAoPhscSpAoth o8hA0 lutO bu0 I6Aby
Of David, he Game humbly. He did not
say he was the SON Of Jonathan. or any.
thing Of that kind. He called himself q
dead dog d. d dead dog;" that's The
kind Of q d. ID. I want to be; o dead dog. u
Keep right On, Brother Barne,. You're
on the right raad to the goal Of your am
bitiop, and when you get there II you
don't find "a front seat and q tab" await.
ing you, you may feel assured that q mis-.
take has prevented the announcement or
your coming.
The Boston Congregationalist SAYS that
the Rev. George Harris, Of Providence,
X l., who has been elected by the trus-
tees and approved by the visitors to be
Abbott professor ut Andover theological
seminary, stated to the visitors that there
IL, In his view, no scriptural warrant for
the doctrine OF future probation, and that
he himself does not assent to 1t, although
he would not feel constrained to condemn
harshly those who find refuge in such q
hope from their difficulties in regard to
divine justice. It is certainly kind in MIR.
Harris to give the rest Of the boys On even
chance.
OF q certain man who had Just died, O
sweet.tempered Christian neighbor said
solemnly: John Stark IL dead. and I do
hope with all my heart he has gone to-
we'll, one Of MI. Vanderbilt's dashes will
expires, the locality. The minister was
shocked. "And what could he have done
to you" be asked, that yo.' indulge in q
hope OF that kinds" Job" was the reply,
"my hope was based on my love for my
fellow.men. John was q queer body. He
never belonged to On organization Of any
kind but he somehow managed to smash
the whole thing in q little while, and l
thought, perhaps, If he has gone to the
place above mentioned there wouldn't be
much Of 1t LETT BY the time YOU and I get
Il b,g your pardon, parson."