The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-30
Breaking una Love Match.

stock?' inquired young man with enough
court plaster, lint, aud cotton waste on his
face and hands to clean up locomotive ready
for its next run.
Cant sell no poison to suicides" said the
clerk. "Been in a heh'?"
"Im no suicide, not much. I'm just the
livelest man in the city"
"Want to poison some rats, don't youf
That's an old racket that won't work in this
emporium"
mo, don't want to pizen rats. But if
you've got any triple extract Of strychnine or
double concentrated essence Of arsenic or
three-ply fly paper soaked in corrosive subli-
mate, why want it. I'm laying for goat
young man. Ever see goat, wild, I'M
tanned Rocky mountain goat with chin whisk-
ers and pig-iron heads"
'Tve seen goat drawing boy in a little
cart"
30, you've seen tame goat harnessed to
little red wagon, have you, well he amt the
goat I'm laying for. Look at that ear. Big
as six ears" Here the plastered youth limped
around the end Of the show case to exhibit his
principal scars and body wounds. "See the
| ridge of that nosel Got to have a silver
bridge put in there. See that eyel Getting
back into Its socket somewhat, but last night
it laid out on my cheek, and the doctor
thought one while he couldn't persuade it to
60 back and sustain pleasant relations with
the other one. I've mashed one Of the hand
soonest girls on the South Side, it's a regular
love match, and her fathers as rich as river
mud, and he and are having regular fight
over her, or was having that kind of set-to
until he introduced this goat into the battle,
aud now its kind OF three-cornered duel
and so far the goat is ahead. That's what l
want the dope for. want to dose that goat
with something that will make him lay down
and gently kick his life away to the soft sigh
ing of the evening breeze, something which
will curl him up like a dead leaf rafting in a
fence corner The old man got thorough
bred English bull dog when first commenced
paying particular attention to his daughter,
and its many a night I've let 90 her hand and
lit out over the gate partly because didn't
have time to work the combination lock, and
partly because wasn't acquainted with that
branch of the family, the dog, but it wasn't
many moons before l crept into that dogs
affections, and he wouldn't bite me any
quicker than he would the old man himself.
Well the old gentleman got on to the undue
familiarity which he saw existed between me
and the dog, and when he couldn't sick him
On ma onu mara and eaw NTH main h.. a..
dog had rather outlived his usefulness, he sent
the critter out into the country and got this
goat on to the place, and there amt no two
ways about it, one of US has got to die, and by
crimusl don't feel as though il ought to be
me, right in the prime Of life and solid with
the girl. The girls Just as anxious as am to
assassinate the goat, as on one or two different
occasions the sportive animal has boosted her
up over the goosberry bushes and up the front
steps quicker than she intended You can't
watch out for him, for he don't stay on the
ground much and is just as likely to come for
you off the wood shed or the roof of the porch
as he is to sneak up in the rear and shoot you
along the gravel path with your nose throwing
sub-soil like a snow pillow. believe that goat
crawles all over the outside Of the house and
climbs trees. He has dropped me sometimes
in my tenderest and most emotional moments
moments when / was burning with elo-
quence and had to lay there and kick and
swear, knocked out and paralyzed by the ole
mans goat. Well that goat will eat anything
from quail on toast to a weeks washing, anc
if you'll Just do me up couple of pounds 9
pure strychnine I'll invite him to picnic
which will shatter his nervous system and turf
him into ghost. Dick Steele in Chcag,
Cheek.
PAID IN HIS OWN COIN, As 1T WERE