The Bozeman weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1889, 1883-07-11
THE BAD BOY.
Peck's Sun.

around a good deal lately" said the gro
Gerry man to the bad boy, as ne came in
the store one evening to buy stick Of
striped pepperment candy for the baby,
while his pa stopped the baby wagon out
on the sidewalk and waited for the boy,
with an expression of resignation on his
face.
"What's got into your pa to be nurse
girl this hot weather"
20, we have had circus at our house"
said the boy, as he came in after putting
the candy in the baby's hand. "You see,
uncle Ezra came back from Chicago,
where he had been to sell some cheese,
and he stopped over couple, of days
with lis, and he said we must play one
more joke on pa before he went home.
We played it, and it is wonder I am
alive, because I never saw pa 80 mad in
all my life. Now this is the last time I
60 into any joke on shares. If play any
more jokes don't want any old uncle in
to give me away"
"What was it ?" said the grocery
man, as he took stool and sat out by
the front door beside the boy who was
trying to eat box of red raspberries On
the sly.
"Well, uncle Ezra and me bribed the
nurse girl to dress the baby up one even
ing in some old, dirty baby clothes, be-
longing to our wash woman's baby, and
we put it in a basket and placed the bas-
ket on the front door step, and put note
in the basket and addressed it to pa. We
had the nurse girl stay out in front, by
the basement stairs, SO the baby couldn't
get away, and she rung the bell and got
behind something. Ma and pa, and
uncle Ezra and me were in the back par
lor when the bell rung, and ma told me
to go to the door, and brought in the
basket, and set it down, and told pa there
was note in it for him. Ma, she came
up and looked at the note as pa tore it
open, and uncle Ezra looked in the bas-
ket and sighed. Pa read part of the note
and stopped and turned pale, and sat
down, then ma read some of it, and she
didn't feel very well, and she leaned
against the piano and grated her teeth
The note was in girls hand writing, land
was like this:
"OLD BALD HEADED PEr.-You will
have to take care of your child, because I
cannot. Bring it up tenderly, and don't,
for heavens sake, send it to the found
ling asylum. l shall go drown myself.
Your loving, ALMlRA."
"What did your ma say?" said the gro
cery man, becoming interested.
20, ma played her part well. Uncle
Ezra had told her the joke, and she said
'retch,' to pa, just as the actresses do on
the stage, and put her handkerchief to
her eyes. Pa said it was false and uncle
Ezra said, %, brother, that l should live
to see this day. and I said, as 1 looked
in the basket, pa, it looks just like you,
and I'll leave it to ma That was too
much, and pa got mad in minute. He
always gets mad at me. But he went up
and looked in the basket, and he said it
was some dutch baby, and was evidently
from the lower strata of society, and the
unnatural mother wanted to get rid of it,
and he said he didn't know any 'Almira'
at all. When he called it dutch baby,
and called attention to its irregular fea-
lures, that made ma mad, and she took
it up out of the basket and told pa it was
a perfect picture of him, and tried to put
it in pas arms, but he wouldn't have it,
and said he would call the police and
have it taken to the poor house. Uncle
Ezra took pa in corner and told him
the best thing he could do would be to
see 'Almira' and compromise with her,
and that made pa mad and he was going
to hit uncle Ezra with a chair. Pa was
perfectly wild, and if he had gun
guess he would have shot all of us. Ma
took the baby up stairs and had the girl
put it to bed, and after pa got mad
enough uncle Ezra told him it was all
joke, and it was his own baby, that we
had put in the basket, and then he was
madder than ever, and he told uncle
Ezra never to darken his door again. I
don't know how he made up with ma for
calling it dutch baby from the Folack
settlement, but anyway, he wheels it
around every day, and ma and pa have
got so they speak again."
"That was mighty mean trick, and
you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Where do you expect to fetch up when
you die ?" said the grocery man.
IT told Uncle Ezra it was mean
trick" said the boy, "but he said that
wasn't priming to some of the tricks pa
had played on him years ago. He says
pa used to play tricks on everybody. I
may be mean, but I never played wicked
jokes on blind people, as pa did when he
was boy. Uncle Ezra says once there
was party of four blind vocalists, all
girls. gave an entertainment at the town
where pa lived, and they stayed at the
hotel where pa tended bar. Another
thing, never sold rum, either, as pa did.
Well, before the blind vocalists went to
bed pa caught lot of frogs and put them
in the beds where the girls were to sleep
and when the poor blind girls got into
bed the frogs hoped all over them, and
the way they got out was caution. 1t
is bad enough to have frogs hopping all
over girls that can see, but for girls that
are deprived of their sight, and don't
know what anything is, except by the
feeling of it, it looks to me like pretty
tough joke. l guess pa is sorry now, for
what he did, cause when Uncle Ezra
told the frog story, brought home a
frog and put it in pas bed. Pa has been
afraid of paralysis for years, and when
his leg, or anythinggets asleep,he thinks
that is the end of him. Before bed time
l turned the conversation onto paralysis,
and told about man about pas age hav-
ing it on the West side, and pa was
nervous, and soon after he retired l
guess the frog wanted to get acquainted
| with ma. cause pa yelled six kinds of