davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
VOLUME 46---NUMBER 1899.

/ man who owned half de town, an when
You stopped you struck pose to show
off your figger. Brudder Hopewell,
how much money does you airn
week ~
Bout 80, sah."
can how much am you behind on
board 2"
Ill s'pects I'ze bout eben, sah."
"Brudder Hopewell, you am in debt
fur board, fur cloze, fur butes, fur ci-
gars, an you has borrowed money
which you can't pay. | has had my
eye on you fur de pas three months an
| knows all about it. Now, den, who
am you ?"
"PurveyOr Hopewell, sah."
"Zactly ly-zactly. You am single
man, p years old, second-class bar
Der, not WORT $50, an out of 5000 900
people in dis kentry not Ober 100 has
eber heard of you. Now, den, You dress
up ; you swell around you fling on
scollops you try to deceive people
into takin' you fur pusson ob riches.
What am your objick ?"
''I-I dOan' know, sah," stammered
the victim.
"Brudder Hopewell, let me tell you
de people of dis kentry doan' know de
difference between de bray of de mule
an de roar of de lion, you am dretfully
mistaken. You have been follerin' de
lead of sartin white people. | knows
heaps of EN- who goes hungry an
dodge creditors fur de sake of binding
peoples eyes. A woman whose hus
ban Arms 800 week has no bizness
/ IL II L. I,,t
81 par of shoes, but she am de pussOn
who'll have IN fur fear dat somebody
will think she isn't rich. Half de ken
| try am in debt fur clOze which only de
Odder half kin afford. De woman who
ware de best clOze on de street has de
moas' holes in her parlGr carpet at
home. De man who swells de biggest
owes de moas' to his tailor an shoe
maker. You am poo man. You'll
nebber have a hundred dollars in bank
as long as you live. You'll nebber airn
mo- dan huff to run a small cabin i'll II
small way, an yet you am swellin'
aroun' as if Il 500, 900 mortgage wouldn't
bOdder you half an hour. What's your
obiick ?"
"I-I-doan' know, sah."
"Boy take off dat swaller-tailed
coat ! Jump outer dem tight pants !!
Drap dat silk neck-tie ! Den you go
to work an fin cheap boardin'-house
an begin to pay your debts. Let your
cloze match your salary. Let your
board match your clOze. Be what you
ana common sort o. pussOn whose
assets will kiver his liabilities by hard
pullin'. You can't deceive anybody,
an de less you try to, de better people
will like you"
Brother Hopewell retired to his cor
ner all broken up, and his first move
was to offer to trade handkerchief
with a red border to Shindig Watkins
for white handled knife with all the
blades broken.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20

witness, "That's ALL" So he grinds
through, and at last the prosecutor
rises and proceeds to address the jury
he picks up the evidence adduced by
the defense into particles fine enough
to be incorporated into Goldfish balls.
The youthful Blackstone wrestler be-
gins to feel uneasy as his mind reverts
to the fact that i'll few moments he
must deliver his maiden speech. He
wishes the prosecutor would hold his
grip and keep it until time to adjourn
court, feeling satisfied that he could
make IA splendid speech the next day
after a nights fighting on the evidence.
He tries to remember what the witness
swore to, but cannot recall the evi-
dence to save his life. The prosecutor
finally winds up with Il grand perOra-
ton, and as he says "And i'll cOnclu-
sion, gentlemen of the jury" the youth
nervously fingers his mOustache, If he
happens to have one about him, and
wishes he had never begun the abomi-
nable business. Cold chills are finger
ing him all over the back as if meas
uring him for a new shirt, and his spi
nal column acts like it was tired and
wanted to sit down while. Like
Banquo's ghost, the lump in his throat
won't down by an obstinate majority,
and he swallows at it and wonders
what he is going to say and how long
it will take him to say it. AS the
prosecutor calmly takes his seat the
young lawyer rises and moves to the
front. He dare not look ut the audi
ence, and tries to imagine there is no
one in the room but himself and the
twelve sphynX-like forms i'll the jury
box. The ewes of each Juror are fixed
upon him, and he would almost relin-
quish his hope of heaven if some one
would raise Il cry of fire to divert their
attention until he gets start. Finally
he shrugs his shoulders and manages
to remark, "Gentlemen of the (swal-
lows) jury" Very good. He then
surveys them Il moment, and every
man in the box thinks he is endeavOr-
ing to read their thoughts but he
isn't. He is wishing he could read his
own thoughts. At last he strikes out
and goes for them about Their intelli-
gent looks, and now he feels that his
interests are safe in their hands. At
the same time he feels serious doubts
as to their safety in his own hands. He
worries through his speech with an
average of two swallows at that lump
to the sentence. The prosecutor closes
the argument and the case goes to the
jury, who retire to a secluded room to
chew tobacco and ask each other what
they thought of it. 1t so happened
that the tiimsy testimony against the
accused warrants verdict of not gull
ty, whereupOn the amateur grasps his
clients hand, whispers, at was a hard
fight, but got you out of it :" Then
he rises, loads up enough law books to
swamp mud-scow, casts a triumphant
look at the prosecuting attorney, who
smiles pleasantly in return, and walks
slowly and majestically down the aisle
TO the door with as much dignity us il
he owned a western railroad. Oh, you
can't deny it, even you old veterans
you've all been there = Quincy Argo
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20

many colds have their origin from
them.
1t was a suggestive remark that n
large and successful hotel proprietor
made to us recently. He said | am
not seeking invalids. The real invalid
is better off ont of Il hotel. What we
want is "tired people!" Those who
have wealth and are seeking ease are
the choice patrons of the summer re-
sorts. Recreation is an art which very
few have studied. There are multi
tudes of OverwOrked men and women
who are needing change. If they can
just have undisturbed rest, that of
itself is grand refreshment. But if,
with that rest, there is to be pamper-
ing of appetite, eating of indigestible
foods, exposures to rapid variations of
temperature, the use of poor water,
the keeping of late hours, and all the
extremes either of fashionable or dis
orderly life, then there is no recrea-
ton about it, but absolute devitaliza-
ton. The person is nervOusly eXhil-
arated by the apparent change; but,
on return home, finds there has been no
real or permanent refreShment. While
many of our summer watering places
are far from perfection, we are among
those who believe that the sickness or
imperfect vig0r on return is far more
frequently owing to personal errors
than to any local causes of disease.
We quite appreciate that, with the
hurry and wOrry of American life, there
is need for rest, and that, especially,
women and sedentary men need Il good,
hearty rest. But let it be thought and
arranged for and carried out, so that
the return shall be with IA sense of tone
and vigor that shall make the very
bones to rejoice. There never was a
time when Il tired man or woman could
command so many of the really good
things of life. There are good rooms
and good beds, easy resting places and
luxurious baths and tables that admit
of Il choice of the very best food by
those who are not willing to pamper
themselves with pastry, fried grease,
candies and nuts, etc. Life, well-cared
for i'll these vacations, is often pro-
longed many Il year, and brings forth
fruit in old age. Make it business
to accumulate health instead of prop
erty, and to lay by in store, so that
there shall be resources to draw upon /;
and also learn method which will
enable us to keep what we get in the
way of physical endowment indie
pendent.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
Good Advice TO White aS well
as COIOred Men.
[From the Detroit Free Pre... |

cam Purveyor Hopewell in de hall
dis evenin' 2n asked Brother Gardner
as the meeting was called to order.
ayes, sab" replied voice from the
back row of seats.
"Den please step dis way"
Brother Hopewell shuffied forward
with a mixed look of hope and doubt
on his face. He couldn't make out
whether he was to he rewarded for
pulling Il stranger out of the river the
other day or cOurt-martialed for hav-
ing a wheelbarrOw in his possession
which three different men claimed to
have been stolen from them.
''Brudder Hopewell,H continued the
president as a great silence fell upon
the meeting, ''de Odder day | met you
down street an | shouldn't have
knOwed who you was if Pickles Smith
hadn't identified you. You had on a
suit of tOgs dat mus have cost $40"
"Yes, sah.n
"YOu had ha'r lie on yer ha'r, you
smelt of peIfumery, and you card
cane"
"Yes, sah."
! "When you walked you acted like
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
How George Eliot Came TO be n
Novelist.

Mr.. Lewes had noticed her match
less powers of observation and of
memory, and one day an idea struck
him. "My dear" he said, 81 think
you could write Il capital story"
Shortly afterward there was a dinner
engagement, but as he was preparing
to go out she said ~ won't go out
this evening, and when you come in
don't disturb me. | shall be very
busy" And this was how the "Scenes
of Clerical Life' came to be written.
On being shown Il portion of the first
tale, "Amos Barton" Mr.. Lewes was
fairly astounded. No one could tell
who wrote these tales, and they were
attributed to many distinguished per-
sons. Mr.. BlackwoOd, the famous
publisher, did not know George Eli
ot," and repeatedly expressed a desire
''to see him" Mr.. Lewes invited him
to dine one day, before the appear
ance of "The Mill on the Floss" No
one was present at the dinner-table
besides Mr.. Lewes, Marian, and Mr..
Blackwood himself. The dinner was
an extremely pleasant one, but when
it was over the guest could not help
expressing his re@ret that George
Eliot himself could not have been
present. "Here he is" said Mr..
Lewes, Introducing the quiet, low
spoken lady who had presided at the
table, not without enjoyment at the
sensation he had produced, as the
astonished publisher shook hands
with his contributor.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
Summer Notwithstanding.

The annual hegira from the cities,
and even from country towns and vii
lagos, has set in, and the mountains
and the Seashore teen with the invad
ing civilizations. This change of To-
cality has become a great fact in this
country. 1t almost suspends the sum
mer business of many a town. 1t fills
many house, from cellar to attic,
with inmates, while the houses at home
are closed against fresh air and robbers.
Nor must it be assumed that, because
there is more fresh and unbreathed air
on the mountains or at the seaside,
there need he no precautions. There
are special exposures in these changes.
The dampness of morning and night Is
quite apparent, and flannel under
clothing is generally needed. The
crowding into smaller rooms gives less
air-space and tempts to open windows
which, however good, must not be sit
uated as, through small openings, to
pour stream of air on the body when
covered with sweat The beds III no
tells are not infrequently damp, and
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20

For the shops ought to shut, and the
banks, and the life-insurance men go
off into the wilderness with the light
ning-rod men, and the canvasser ought
to cease from canvassing, and the
weary be at rest. 1t would be a good
thing if the politicians would clam
bake and barbecue, and make no
speeches they wouldn't make any if
the speeches were not reported. 1t
might be good thing if all the news
papers would suspend. Then the
world would have nothing to talk about
and perhaps would reposefully grow
in grace and sanity.-[Charles Dudley
Warner, i'll Harper's Magazine for Au-
GUSt
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
Vermont in War.

The angular and positive ways of
NermOnters have always made them
the subject of ridicule, but the laugh
is usually only half begun before it is
turned To good account by genuine
son of the Green mountains. Ethan
Allen marched all night and woke up
the British general from his peaceful
slumbers with a voice so loud as to
frighten the entire garrison of Fort
TiconderOga, and the game was
bagged Gin the name of the Great
Jehovah and the Continental Con-
gress." When the Fenians marched
an army towards Johnny Bulls do
mains, General Foster rode on to- the
field of battle in Il pleasure carriage,
found the general in command of the
raiders, and, taking him by the nape
of the neck, boosted him into his car
riage and drove off the field. And
now comes the war at Ely. Governor
Barstow having been sent for, he also
takes the boys along at night and
surprises the enemy, 300 strong, in
bed, wakes them up out of sound
sleep, and whispers gently in their
ears "The war is over come and
get cup of hot coffee" And still
some folks don't like it. They think,
we suppose, that it would have been
better for the reputation of j. b. if
Col. Allen hadn't been quite so previous
in his call, and that O'Neil would have
felt better if Foster had waited day
or two and sent word, and that Gov.
BarstOw ought to have put the troops
i'll bed at Bradford and gone over af-
ter breakfast. Vermonters behind
Hardly, gentlemen, so far as war and
duty are concerned. Vermonters
ahead, always. Allen, Foster and
Barstow in the extreme,
but business thoroughly done = Brat
tlebOrO pheniN
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
The Young Lawyers First Case,

The young lawyer conducting his
first case before jury is worthy of the
deepest cOmmiseration. Take him, for
instance, in the criminal court, before
which he has Il case. While the prose-
cutting attorney is tying the first wit
ness into bOw-knots and untying him
again, the amateur sits listening, but
endeavoring to look as unconcerned as
a marble statue in thunder storm.
He throws in timid objections every
time he thinks he sees hole, and as
each one is overruled by the court he
puts on stern look, as much as to say,
"Fll knock the wind out of that in the
supreme court ~ When the prosecu-
tor, usually an old, able attorney, dryly
says, "Take the Witness" the youthful
aspirant trembles little and endeav-
ors To swallow something that is stick
ing in his throat. He feels that every
eve in the room is upon him and that
they are us hot as stove-lids. He fires
a few initiatory questions at the wit
ness, and warns as he proceeds until
he is brought up standing by, "Oh
YOUR honor, we object to such irrele-
want questions" followed by a few
scathing remarks from the prosecutor.
The court sustains the objection, and
advises the young lawyer to keep
within the bounds, which sets him to
wondering where the bounds are. OBJ
lection follows objection, and each one
is promptly sustained. He wonders
why it is that free and Independent
people will tolerate such One-sidet
| justice. He lunges ahead blindly now
until he becomes so confused that h'
does not knew-whether he is a practic
ing attorney with a gilt sign, or a fly
wheel on "A steam woOd-saw. FINAL!
he runs out of questions and with (
sigh of relief or something tells th'
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
Newspapers rs Business Enter
priseS.

A newspaper is a business enter
prise and must he conducted on bust
ness principles. Men are constantly
asking favOrs of newspapers, which
mean sacrifice of space representing
money, who would never dream of
asking lawyers to take cases without
fees, or expect doctors to take their
pay in thanks. The deadbead is dis
appearing from other departments of
business life, aud the newspaper
deadhead, distinguished though he
may be, must follow. Newspapers,
being business enterprises, must be
conducted in business way. If the
public does not support the best news
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20

The following communication from
x-Mayor Daniel r. Clymer embodies
;m important suggestion, which it
would he well to heed: Near to each
end of il ioist a hole is bored. Run a
rope through each hole, and tie three
knots on top of said joist to secure it
to hold the swing seat Then tie a
knot in each rope three inches below
the joist this done, tie IA strong safe
ty rope under said knot; then lay
this rope loosely over the top of the
ioist near the ends of the swing, so
that when the rope breaks at the
greatest point of friction and wear
right under the ioist, the safety rope
lying idle over the ioist top will at
once catch and rescue the falling
person from injury and, perhaps, death.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20

CoagregdtiondL-Sunday services at 1915 a. III.
and 4. 30 p. sabbath school at 1900. Wednes
day evening meeting at $50
Methodist-Suppled by Rev. q. f. Burnham.
sunday services at l.30 y.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
st. Johnsbnry Athenmum.

Library and Reading RoOm,-Free to all. Open
from . 4. N. to II ~. from To =. M and from
to = IL Saturday evenings.
Art GdUery-Open Tuesdays and Fridays.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
TelerranIn Office.

Western Union and VI. InterRdtiORGl-in ST.
Iohnsbury House. Open from m. to p. III.
sundays. 9 to 10 a. m, ; tn p. Night messages
hi rnt.a
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
Complete Heating Apparatus
for SIS.

large size Boynton Furnace in complete repair
with duplicate CRATE. for S75. aad fifty dollars
worth Of pipe and registers thrown in" The fur
for steam heater. e. NJ. STONE.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
w. j. BRAY,
CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER,
Lumber Yard and Office Opposite
Odd Fellows Block,
r. r. Street, ST. Johnsbury.

All kinds Of Building Material for sale. Rough
and Dressed Lumber, Clapboards Single Lath
Doors, Sash and Blinds Brackets Mouldings
Hardware, Nails, Lime, Cement and everything
necessary for building at the lowest cash prices.
3Stf
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
HOTEL WELLESLEY,
w HI.LEsLF1


WIN be opened May 25th under the management
Of Mr Tyler B. Gaskill, for many years one of the
propuetors of the Revere aud fremont houses, in
Boston, and more recently Of the Grand Pacific
Hotel lineage. The long and varied experience
OF MI Gaskln as a manager Of leading hotels Is a
proof that be VIII conduct the Wellesley it has
never been maintained before Applications for
.treet.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
st. Johnsbury Post Office.

Commencing Oct. o. the mails will close at the
Post Office follows:
Passumpsc Il. K. Way Mail, South, $50 a. III.
No Dauville 900 a.
st j. q L. G. K. X. Way Mail, East 2.15 p.
st j & l.. G.. X. K. WAY Mail. West, 800 p.
Montpelier & W. River, X. K. Way Mail $50 p. n.
Passumpsic X. r Way Mail. North, 400 p. IN.
West Concord and st. Johnsbury East. SEQ a.
Waterford, W Watfd and l.. Watfd, 400 p. III.
Boston, New York Conn. X. Val. Mail 500 p. m.
Collections will be made from the mail boxes
for the mail south in the morning,
and at p. Collections will also be made from
the mail box at corner of Railroad Street and
Eastern Avenue, at a IN. and 730 p.
CHAS. +. CARPENTER, I'd. p. NJ.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20

JOB PRINTING of all kinds, at living prices
With modern type and machinery and ~killiul
workmen. nearly all kinds of job Printing can bc
done well and As cheap as in the cities.
Legal Blanks, Card and Paper stock constantly
on hand.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
ST. eSumsbmp Galrdunian.
G. NJ. STONE & CO,
PUBLISHERS

opposite the Athenasum, St. Johnsbury, VT,
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
(IpIAlolTLoIaIRIAIplALsl!b

The undersigned is now prepared to make every
style of Photograph in the most perfect man
uer. | shall take special pains To
please those who have been
successful in obtaining sat
isiaCtOry pictures
elsewhere.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
Graurlrrs' 6nide.
81. Johnsbury q Lake ChampIain Railroad.
July I6. 1888.
Railroad. 2. 1888.

ne express train leaving at 900 a. m, arrives at
luam at ZOO ,. m Returning leaves Maquam
~ p m, arriving at St JOhnsbury at 1000 III.
The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1883-04-25

The Helena Herald affects "sur-
prise and disappointment at the
result of the recent election in Vel
lowstone county," and as usual with
that journal, when Democrats are
successful, it charges the Democrats
of that county with fraud and cor
ruption. 1t cannot understand how
it is possible the Democrats there,
after being charged by the Republi-
cans with all manner of evil doings
at the last November election, can
have the temerity to cast another
majority for their ticket. But it
seems they are there yet, and they
are there to stay. A comparison of
the November returns with the votes
cast at the recent election Shows but
little difference in the aggregate, but
the Herald, which charged corrup-
ton in the election there last fall,
must preserve consistency, and hence
charges corruption in the present
instance. This time gravel trains
did the business. 1t wont do Mr..
Herald. The weight of Democratic
majorities in Yellowstone county
will always make the Republicans
think a gravel train ran over them.
The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1883-04-25
SIDE DISHES.

Boys" said a Leadville preacher,
you'll find this life like a game OF
seven-up. You want to save your
tens and look out for game an never
beg when you hold a good hand.
The Lowell Citizen proves itself a
close and correct observer of man.
kind when it remarks that the aver
age man takes very little interest,
perhaps, in the rifle shooting at
Creedmoor and Walnut Hill, but it
tickles HIM half to death when he
makes a good shot with a stone at
one of his neighbours hens which has
GENE over into his yard.
An Arkansas editor having retired
from the business leaves this clear
and satisfactory explanation: "It is
due to the public that 1 should make
a full confession before [ retire from
the active control of the Spider. l
procured the position merely.to Sc
cure office, and now that [ have been
elected constable of this precinct l
step aside to give some other aspiring
man a chance I have made many
friends and killed two men during
my editorial career, for which I am
thankful and deeply indebted to this
community"
Two years ago, according the Bos-
ton Herald, a newspaper %correspon-
dent attempted to explore a Florida
jungle in which is "De Debbil's Tar
Kiln" a deep hole in the ground
from which sulphurous vapors arise.
Everybody in the neighborhood
counted him as good as lost, except a
dark-eyed Tallahassee girl. In a
week he returned with scarce a rag
to his back, almost blind and nearly
dead from exhaustion. The negroes
were all afraid of him, believing that
no one could get out of there except
by express permission of "de ole bad
man." The girl nursed and cared
for him until he was able to return
to his home in New York, where he
finally recovered from the effects of
limitations of sulphurous acid gas.
The same train that bore David
Davis to Fayetteville to be married
carried Thomas Hodson on a smaller
mission to Palatka, where he met
and was united to his Tallahassee
girl in the same house where she
nursed him back to life after bis
perilous adventure.