The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1883-02-01
Mark Twain Vexed.

Somebody was asking a Hartford
man how it happened that Mark Twain
wrote and published SO little nowadays.
He writes as much as ever" was the
reply, "but his barometer is out of order,
and he does not know what to publish.
So he publishes nothing
What in the world has his barome-'
ter to do with his literary activityp''
His barometer is man-servant
named Jacob, who is remarkable for
his deficient sense of humor. Marx
never can judge of the merit of his own
performances. Years ago he fell into
the habit of testing everything he wrote
by observing its effect on Jacob. If
Jscob listened to the reading of the art
icle, jest or story with unmoved coun-
tenance, or merely smiled in perfume
tory way, Mark was satisfied and sent
the manuscript to the printer. But if
Jacob laughed outright, or gave any
other indication of genuine merriment,
the humorist concluded that the stulf
was hopeless and withheld it from pub
lication. He regarded Jacob as infalli-
BILE and came to lean upon his judg-
ment.
about three years ago, it appears,
Jacob learned for the first time from
some outsider that his master was a
professional humorist. He felt greatly
honored that he should have been
chosen habitually to enjoy the first
freshness of every new production of
genius. He did not exactly under
stand why he should have been thus
chosen. but felt in vague way that n
great humorist must need sympathy
and appreciation, and must naturally
look for it to the fellow-being g.nearest at
hand. He also felt that he had perhaps
failed to be at all times sufficiently ap-
preciative. So Jacob kept his discovery
to himself as far as his master was CON
cerned, and resolved to be as apprecia-
tive in the future as anybody could de-
sire.
lone day Mark called Jacob in and
read him sketch entitled The Cow
and the Lightning-rod man. In COM
posing it Mark had fiattered himself
that he had struck a pretty fine streak.
To his amazement Jacob put back his
head and roared, With half-suppr ass-
&c ejaculation, Marx dashed the man
use pit in the waste-paper bss'1nt
''1hen Mark waited six weeks or TWO
months to collect his forces (for no is
never precipitate in anything he does),
and achieved romance called How
Bounce the Baby He summoned ia
cab and watched his face with . vious
anxiety as he read the touching arra-
tive. Jacobs mirth was painful to OBJ
serve. Mark tore up the story and then
tore his hair.
1.-TWO or three experiments of this
sort, with unvarying results, persuaded
Mark Twain that the malaria, which he
has been dreading ever since it began
10 creep up the Connecticut Valley, had
reached him at last and DESTROYED his
powers of usefulness. He fell into a
settled melancholy. His friend, the
Rev. Mr.. Twichell. tried in vain to
cheer him up. Perhaps suggested
Twichell your man has really cultiyat-
ed sense of humor, SO that you must
no longer judge by opposites.' Mark
shook his head, and borrowed volume
Of Jonathan Edwards sermons from
his friends library. He copied out
long passage from the discourse on eter-
nal punishment, and palmed it off on
Jacob as his own latest effort. For the
first time in history. the gloomy periods
provoked peals of laughter. Jacob
H0lO uiS Sluoo, ttuu sHOOh dll over. 4ucu
he suddenly stopped, his countenance
became blank, turned pale, and he in
continently fled. He had seen murder
in his masters eye.
THAT" said the Hartford man, in
conclusion, lis why Mark Twain does
not write. He hung his reputation as
humorist upon his barometer, and his
barometer no longer works. ."-Ehiladet-
t)bia Press.