The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1883-05-24
Spending the Summe9.

From Peck's sur.
"Where are you going to spend the
summer" said a prominent citizen,
to another prominent citizen
Is the two met at free lunch counter
one day this week and prepared to take
the lunch.
"Weu, have not made up my mind"
said the second prominent citizen, as he
took fork and speared q chip Of liver
sausage and laid it on piece of rye
bread, calling for schooner of beer. Il
have been talking it over with my wife,
and we have about concluded to fix up
the house as a summer resort and stay
at home. She thinks she can take
Ratchet and break some Of the springs
of her bed, and shorten up the bed Stats
80 they will fall down, AMI put some old
cabbage stu1fps in the mattress, and can
make the bed about as uncomfortable as
the one we had at a summer hotel lasu
summer at 81 day apiece. But she has
got to have fire in the room all summer
to make the room as hot as our hotel
room was, because our house is SO near
Lake Michigan that it is disgustinsE
cool in the summer"
"That may do for starter for sum-
mer resort" said tie other prominent
citizen, as he fshed some head cheese
out of plate Of vinegar and finally
guided it into his mouth, after it had
Slid down his vest and into his shirt 30
som. "but she will want to tamper with
the broiler so it will burn one side ola
beef.steak and leave the othe" side raw,
ard she will have TO instruct her cook how
to make biscuits so hard outside that you
can strike flint on them. and soft in
side" and he took the last swallow Of
beer and called for another glass.
go, she can arrange that all right"
said the other. "But she is going to
have a hard time to train our servants
to make good imitation summer resort
servants o. them. tell her she wants
to train them so they will do nothing
without being paid half 4 dollar. have
got the chambcrmaid so sh, will not
make up the bed in my wife's room until
all the other beds are made,
unless she gives the girl quarter,
and she won't carry out the
Stops until after dinner, and my wife
says it seems real natural. l have IN.
structed the man who answers the bell
not to come up for three quarters of an
hour after We ring, and to always bring
a pitcher of ice-water the way they do
at summer hotels. Did you ever notice
that a bell boy at a summer hotel always
brings ice-water when YOU ring? He
does not sem to have any soul that
He thinks that the chances are, when a
bell rings, that the guests want a pitcher
of ice water, and he takes it along so he
will not have to make another trip, and
when he finds you want something else
he looks mad and sets the pitcher down
and seems to think you are fraud be-
cause the other nine pitchers of ice-wa-
ter he has brought you are enough.
Then we have got to borrow lot of
trunks, so the porter can get the wrong
trunk in our room, add we have got to
get in habit of going down to the lake
and paying dollar an hour for an old
| boat that never cost three dollars when
il was new. And l am practicing on
smiling and swearing, so can act like the
landlord, and smile at the family when
they come in, and 60 to the bar-roon
and swear at them because there are not
more Of them and they do not stay
longer. I am having bar fixed up in
two ehillings glass for lemonade that
mas d pInC VI wafer, a plucu VI aClA,
little sugar, and strawberry that looks
as thoug h it had been ground under a
boot-heel. I think I am getting the
thing down fine. Come over and see US
this summer, from your hot and dusty
residence on the West side, and we will
make you tired in about two days."
20, am fixed. am going to take a
blanket and go out to the glue factory
and lay off this summer and catch suck
ers in the Menominee, and fight mos
quitoes," said the other citizen, land
charge myself 81 day. tell you a
man can summer right here at home and
have all the discomforts, and get just as
mad as he can to 60 to Saratoga or Long
Branch" and the two citizens went out
picking the liver sausage out Of their
teeth, looking as though they had i'll
vented new scheme.