The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-10-31
COMIC COMMENTS.

-'s''" =
Offended: 81 did not think my cousin
would have taken offense,n said Mrs. Rams
botham, q but to my surprise he retired in
high gudgeon."--London Punch.
A good prescription (" Fresh air, plain
food, early hours and plenty Of exercise,
says Mrs. Ramsbotham, "are worth ali the
doctors rostrums in the world "-LondoN
Punch
6 Yes," said Tawmus, Mr.. Byrnesmon-
key is most extraordinary fellow; he'll do
anything for new sensation. Why, the
other day he tried speaking the truth
Boston Post.
Humorist Knott succeeds pardoning
Governor: Beg pardon, Governor, but"
90 now, go away can't grant any par
dons, sir no, sir, no pardons 7" Lc1ispiRe
Courier Journal.
The moral side Of it And so, Miss
Fuller, you think Miss johnson did wrong
70 60 on the stage in tights?a 4 Indeed
DO. Why, her limbs are as thin as pipe
stems. - Boston Poet
Nothing ironical really meant & 81 that
gentleman a friend Of yours Y asked 4 new
ly-introduced lady Of another at reception.
's0h, no, he's my husband, = was the in
nocent reply. Merchant 7raoeissr.
Trouble in the Ramsbotham family: II
nearly quarreled with him, I" said Mrs.
Ramsbotham. " l felt inclined to say with
Shakespeare: Cry haddock and let slip
the hogs of war. 49, London Punch.
A happy family Neighbor-" Your
family looks contented and happy" Moth
or" Yes; the boys are happy because
they're through with their whipping-and
the girls are happy because they didn't get
any,"
Full of delight and other things: Real
ly, love, I had delightful time at the ball
last night" g should Judge SO, darling;
heard you three times order the waiter
to bring more cherrapin and tampagne. ~
Life
Nerve, as shown by young Jack:
=" Nerve I" said the young man of his friend,
"why, Jack's got heap of nerve. He
wasn't embarrassed bit the first time he
went to a BARRIERS shop to get shaved
Boston Post.
The adventure of an owl: A Texas owl
mistook sleeping mans head for chicken,
and fastened its claws into his hair and
scalp. g Well what's the matter now, old
woman ?" said the assailed, as he awoke---
Jersey City Journal.
The oath too sacred quite Recorder
: Witness, did understand you to swear
chat you saw the accused at 10 o'clock on
Tuesday night on Austin avenueP" Witness
(slightly Tight" l can't schwear to it,
your Honor, but I'll bet yer two schoonerz
Of beer shaw him."
A lot Of thoughtless patients els DIR.
Calomel successful in his practice?n Very;
he has cleared over $4,000 the last two
years" Indeedl But has he lost any
patients ?" "Only those who have died.
OF course, they could be of no help to him
any longer" OF course Bottom
Transcript.
Maternal reasoning: Old Mr.. Ploggers,
indignantly Look here, Mrs. Snags, tiSs
Is twi - that boy of yours has thrown rocks
~ ~ 800 ',,,'0 ~ .'s"' " Anow
AZ" $3.50 ne : Eng ~ '. W
a.. .ss I,,o ~ ~ 80 a'. ,osee :,
nc W IN, , 80 "ie w" .oons'
ga,,..a ~ ~ ''' '"A''''-
-, 80
mafVeious' neuiiy' now ..e'o 49,
wei's are grea' 'neoicai 'ns.i'i'ions' 1neis
was e,r' aken 70 Que 81 'nen iss' spl.ns
go. = s.a,, 90 o,,,, .,sn sho,. ,aon.hs s;x :,
80. ,sss,,,s., -. .a..,, 49, .,a;~
.,a - - :, ~, ,aa,,.L CO.. ,uas on,,, AZ
p p,as.hs IA rshon sha want .hars -.7,s,...
r;n;ra. NS 1884
r.u.
!. Tonooin ins vuoA Doa.s =, 'Ao Na ~.
w. my Son, pas,'o''0"y oose. W -.
Na.'o" ~. - Mou'a S S.s.. ~ -, -. ss
na'ion ,,Ae 'lu on,.eu 0'''ss ~ 20 N's s...,
- onoa ,,o,ra narar COW. - war With
~ 81 !. WV -, .assa.sa NJ. Meow
-. s,sy.;..,,,,,, ..1n, III, -, ,.hr n.
80 ~ has,.i, !, o,,r ,srhi,o oa,csrs ii
,.';rs. ~ !. y - ps.aon,,,,, Eel
1les =,
No' ios' ~ u long sno'' .aeA nAu svne
on ana go' nanisel los, ana - Aau 49, -.
iounu himself anu W"'Aea no'ne'
you no' sorry 'i"' you 'sn IVY -s -
.o'' A sA pa.s mr.s..,. ,s..n
tone OF griel anu reproFui' "non AoSe'
% Rut nobodv knew where Won was +" i