The banner-enterprise., 1883-09-06

best yet with u best we could d
no better.
We pawned our pot boilers withOu
"a thought of ever "taking them out
again. In due course they passed il
revOcably into 'uncle's' possession
What he did with them then W
neither knew nor cared.
Among the men | used to NEE
abOnt in the studios or cOnsOrt with il
he bar parlor of the Brush an,
Palette of an evening were man,
whose sole means of livelihood up
peared to be painting for the pawn
brokers. l had another resource, a
| have northumberland picture-deale
out of whom | used to make wage
pretty frequently. And then ther'
was hat relative of mine who, though
he considered me to he an idle good
for nothing, would not let me g
wrong for want of a ten-pound note
| was a sort of CrGsuS among thest
out-at-elbows dauberS then. They
drank and smoked and ate very fire.
quently at my expense in the free, hap
py style of Bohemia and they also
often borrowed shillings and half
crowns with the careless bOhh0mit
of their guild. They made much Of
me; and tickled my youthful vanity
by pretending to take it for granted
that personal talent with the brush
was the real source of my compare.
tive a~tfluence.
| had no business to call myself
poor, for | had, from the various
sources, a total income CT over two
hundred a year. Then | had Il good
capital, in the shape of d fair stock Of
such things as IA young artist requires,
an extensive wardrobe, some furniture
and books. | was comfortable
enough in my humble studio, which
also was m, living-room, with a small
bedroom adjoining il. There was nc
reason why should have felt power
ty, but die.
Like most inexperienced young
SterS, | had bat the vagueSt ideas OF
the value of money. Moreover, | was
e~Xtravagaut, never Stinting my eX-
penditureS, and wasting a lot more
money tllan | could afford at the
Brush and Palette and similar places,
| was always in arrears, and. worst
of all, | fell into II sad way of betting
on races.
Now, eoody -goody people would
say that such Il thing WAS Impossible
ANA incJmprehensible but | swear to
You that what led me to take to bet
ting and gambling with more than
ordinary zeal was the pureSt and holi-
est incentive man coul have.
j woman, of course, sou say. Well,
yes, bat a sirl rather than a woman
she was then. Lucy was the daugh-
ter Of a small tradesman, a druggist
in Camden Town. | had made her
acquaintance in some Informal way,
and had gradually wormed myself
into the confidence Of the family. |
was madly in love with Lucy, who
well | won't attempt to describe her,
for certain reasons not far off Just now
Suffice it, she was, like TraldleS'
SOphy, "the dearest girl in the world
Many visits to the little household,
and various little trips to Richmond
or Epping Forest, play going, and
what not in her company, had the
usual result. | told Lucy of my love,
and she consented to become my wife.
Now, had | been free from debt,
there was really no reason why we
should not have married at once. |
had as much as many u curatc mar
ries upon. But then | was in debt |
had duns and difficulties, no present
of making my domicile tit for
Il wife, and, above all, my little in
come was somewhat precariOus. Then
| had no particular projects to look
forward to.
Lucy's father, like most men Of his
class in Louilon, particularly if bless
ed with u large family. as he was,
said either yea or nay to the
matter. He allowed us to Judge for
ourselves. | las u gentleman, he
sald-meaning thereby an honest man
and meant to act straight by his
girl SO what more was there for him
to say
Well, ly the Spring Of 1872 our en-
gagement had continued for some
months, and | was daily getting more
involved by reason OF my pur-
suit ofluck. | bettcd on every event,
to pull myself up that way,
Dut only with the result of throwing
away the best part of what | earned.
Things was in this state shortly be-
ore the Derby. l was going on in a
)ad way. knew that something
be done before long. | knew
hat | must carve out a new path for
myself somehow /; that | must contrive
ZONE fresh plan, or go without Lucy,
md also go to universal smash. Yet
What to do | did not known. | wait
d, in a hopeIessly hopeful condition,
or something to turn up. ! put
and worry away from me, aud
would have none OF it.
Do you not know that curious
condition you get into some.
ines, when you refuse to allow your
elf to think of the future You live
n a kind of unreal reality, to use a
aradoxical expression. The present
on make to occupy your thoughts
n~tirely. Ynn wait for the nneXnectel.