Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1883-08-18

oe valiant as a lion and ready for all
emergencies, he must, if he is not case
hardened, retire from the unequal con-
test and beat a hasty retreat before the
nerce attack of his banded-together as
saliants: 1t seems, also, as if these
u!kefs IN the narrow alleys have a GER
taln amount Of what might be called an
ooorous intelligence. For a native
never seems to be bothered at all as he
Walks the streets. His handkerchief, if
ne nave one, remains quietly in his
pocket and his fingers are busted in
other ways than holding his nose.
From which circumstances it is fair to
argue that he has come off victorious in
SO many furious battles with the smells
That the latter know there is no use in
attacking him. No other explanation
VIII suffice. because it does not seem
possible. that any mortal man could
walk unconcernedly through these
stfeets II he We're attacked-and it is
but AIR to presume that the Cologners
are but mortal, exactly the same as the
rest Of us. But let a stranger fall in
behind n of the exempt natives and
follow him into one of the byways. The
smells are not to be imposed upon by
any such q transparent arrangement.
The native passes scot free, but the
stranger has to fight.
Black declares that these smells are
visible and that they have distinct and
distinguishing colors. He has drawn
up a sort of a table in the matter and
classified them all according to agrees
siveness and color. His deductions are
about as follows: ."The red smells are
the most ferocious, vindictive, merci-
less and aggressive. They are really
the leaders in all the attacks on unsus-
pecting tourists. They lie in wait al
ways at the ends Of the streets, ready to
spy out the approaching stranger and
inaugurate the attack upon him. Their
favorite lurking places are in the open
sewer-traps, where there are any sewer
traps. OF else behind some projecting
house Here they hide, having
only one eye exposed to scan the side
walks and streets for victims. They are
quite sly and strategic. They wait until
the stranger has passed them. Then
they give the alarm and attack the enc
my in the rear, and woe betide the I'M
fortunate who falls into the merciless
grasp of a bright red Cologne smell.
If he be not strong and valiant, he need
have no hopes of surviving the ncoun-
ter. For the bright red smells have alb
lutely no compassion. When once they
get possession they never leave until
they have accomplished their desires.
The green smells are malignant. The
more so than the lipht-oreen
ones. They love to steal up behind one
and garrote him, so to speak. But they
are also cowardly; and, if repulsed or
stoutly resisted, they soon retire. The
yellow smells are gay deceivers. They
come toward the object of their attack
as if bent on some friendly errand.
They are generally corpulent and smil-
ing. They always come with out
stretched hand, as if to shake hands.
They always have a healthy look about
them which completely deceives the
stranger, so that he almost always goes
half way to meet them and actually
welcomes them. But he is soon unde-
ceived, and that in no very pleasant
way; for your yellow smell is powerful;
he is insinuating; he is heavy and
sitting. and he hangs about one in such
an afectionate manner that one hardly
likes to offend him by driving him
away. One always feels as if he might
insult a worthy but unfortunate smell if
he resorted to extreme measures.
Hence it comes about that the yellow
smell is the most dangerous of ALL"
Such are the more prominent of Blacks
deductions. He has gone, however,
more into minutin and has carefully
tabulated all the different shades of col
ored smells, together with their charac-
teristics. He thinks of issuing the
tables i'll pamphlet form, designed for
doubt. be a valuable addition to the
guide-books now in existence.-Cologne
Cor. San Francisco Chronicle.