Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-06-13
A Natural Mistake.

Natnrai MlStakes
A few DAYS ago a. registered letter was
received at Postoffice Station A, ad-
dressed to an aged German living in the
neighborhood, and was given TO the let
ter carrier for delivery, but was returned
to the station because its owner was not
at home, and there was no one on the
premises authorized to sign the required
receipt. After several other efforts TO
deliver it, it was sent to the General
Postofiice; and the German, on calling
at the station and making inquiry about
it, was informed of the facts, and
furnished with slip of paper on which
was written certificate that would en-
able him to obtain the letter on applica-
tion at the General Postofiice.
Armed with this document, he made
his way to the big Federal building and
was soon wandering through its mazes
seeking for the Registered Letter De-
partment." Observing on the gallery a
line of citizens standing outside the
closed door Of an Office, each provided
with slip of paper similar in appear
ance to the slip he held, he fell in at the
foot of the line, which was rather long
utes the Office door opened, man
emerged and departed, voice called
"Nextp The man at the head of the
line entered, and the door closed behind
him. In about an hour and half the
patient Germans turn arrived, and, en-
tering the room, he found himself alone
with gentleman of professional aspect
who, giving hasiy glance at the slip of
paper said:
"That's all right-take off your coat"
"Dake of mine goat? Vet you dink
J come for? To got shafcd? l want"
ooh, that's all right-take off your
coat; can't examine you unless you do"
"Den | vos got to be examined? So?
Dots all right, | s'bose," and off came
the coat.
"Well, take off your waistcoat and
shirt; do you think can examine you
with your clothes onY'
"Look here, mine vriend, you dink
vas tief? You want to search me?
Veil, dots all right. peen an honest
man, by gracious, und you don't Wind no
shtolen property my clothes insite. vas
nefer zearcl before already"
81 don't want to search you; | want to
examine you. Don't you understand
"No, ton'd understand him at all
but dots all right-dere's my shirt of,
und if 1 a cold catch dot will your fault
peen."
The professional-looking gentleman
placed his hand afectionately on the Wis
itors shoulder blade and applied his ear
TO his chest, listened intently; then
tapped him on the breast bone and
punched him in the small of the back,
inquiring if it hurt
"Hurt? No, dot ton'd hurt; but maype
if dose foolishness don't stop somepody
ellus gifts bretty soon hurt"
"Does that hurtT was the next ques-
tion, accompanied by a gentle thrust
among the ribs.
"No, dot don't hurt, but py gracious,
if"
"Oh, be quiet, Pm i'm a hurry, and
have got dozen more to attend to. Now,
can you read this card when 1 hold it out
20"
mo"
"Can you read it now" bringing it
few inches nearer.
"No, but you choost pring me out mine
spegdagles by my goat booklet, und read
him."
"Oh, that won't do; your eyesight is
defective, Pm sorry to say, and you're
rejected. Put on your clothes again,
quick, please"
"Dots all right. So vos reelected,
eh? Veil, dot vos nezezzary, subbose;
but it's very vunny, choost the same.
Und now I've been reelected und oxam-
ined, und all dose dings vot you do NIT
me, maybe you don't some objections got
to gf me dot rechistered letterY
"What registered letterT
"Dot rechistered letter vot vos sboken
apout on dis biece of baper from Station
A."
"The dickens! who sent you to me with
that? thought you had come TO be ex-
amined. Didn't you apply for appoint
ment as a letter-carrierW
GAS a letter-garrier2 No, don't want
TO be a letter-garrier. haf good pusi
ness got by mine own self; but py gra-
cious, | wants mine rechistered letter
from Germany vat mine bruder sents me
by Station A."
"Here," said the professional gentle
man, opening the door and calling mes
senger from the lobby; "show this gen.
tleman to the Registered Letter Depart
ment;" and the bewilered foreigner was
conducted to the proper window.
1t happened to be the day for the ex-
animation, by the Postoffice medical Off
Ger, of candidates for appointment as let
ter. carriers.-M y Sun.