Iron County register., 1883-04-26
FOOLING UNCLE JOHN.

''A1l FOOLS Day-nonsense!" said
Uncle John Tyler, with his hands
pushed into his pockets. ''Not all
FOOLS day! Now, I'll give any body
two silver quarters to fool naer' ...
Uncle John Tyler's voice sounded
very deep, and his face was sober
enough in all conscience; but his eyes
laughed.
1.-TWO silver quarters to fool me, -
said he. .sft
''Honest true?" asked Ben, looking up.
Honest true" answered Uncle John
Tyler, looking down. ga quarter
apiece all round.''
''That'H be three,' said Ben. ''One
for mel
''And one for me,' said Daf,y.
'sAnd two ones for me-" piped
Tommy, ''to buy peanuts"
"a quarter all round,' said Uncle
John Tyler. "And I'm going to thrash
oats for your father to-day, SO you'll
have a good chance
This was in the morning, and before
long Uncle Johns fail was thump,
thump, humping on the barn floor.
Datfy washed the dishes, and Ben
filled the wood-box, and Tommy stood
round in the way, just as he always
was doing when folks were busy. When
everything was done, and he couldn't
get in the way, he would sit down in
the corner, ''as nice as any body's boy"
Daffy said.
So it was this time; and while
Tommy was sitting on his cricket in the
corner, and Daily was untying her
''dishes apron" and Ben was squeezing
the place where splinter had stuck
into his hand, they all tried to think
how to fool Uncle John Tyler.
1--WE couldn't have a sawdust pud
ding or anything, could we, now?"
asked Ben. "'Cause he'll be a-lool1ing
out, and taste of everything fore he
eats whole lott .
"Of course he'll taste before he eats
it, said Daffy, laughing. "We can't
fool him any common way"
"Well, how can we, then?" asked
Ben; and he wrinkled up his nose and
thought of the quarters. "r
I'm sure don't KNOW said Daffy;
and she sighed and thought of the quar-
ters.
Il can't know, too," chirped Tommy,
cheerily.
Il don't believe we can, anyway
said Daffy.
"Then we won't get the quarters, -
said Ben, soberly. "and Tommy can't
have his peanuts.
:'Oh dear me-e!" burst forth
Tommy, coming out of his corner. 81
wa-ant some peanuts! Couldn't you
shoe the old black sheep at him,
Daily, N he'd think twas bear!"
Then they thought they should die
a-laughing, Daffy and Ben.
you're the beat-a-most boy, Tommy
cried Daffy; and she wiped
her eyes and gave Tommy a loving
squeeze. 'II buy you five cents
worth of peanuts out of my picking
over-apples money, if-O Ben. I've
thought how may be we can! But we
must try some other ways, too, SO I'm
Gle John won't mistrust."
They put their three small heads to-
gether and talked it over. And all the
forenoon, up in the shed-chamber, they
pounded, and whispered, and tied bits
of rope together and laughed.
They tried some other ways.
Once Ben carried an empty jug out
where Uncle John was at work in the
barn.
Uncle John?'' asked he.
Uncle John picked up the jug and
shook it, before he would put it to his
lips.
"Wen, I guess not this time" said
he, sober as Judge. And Ben, feel
ing very foolish, carried the Jug away
again.
Then there were egg-shells on with
the boiled eggs for dinner, fixed so Daffy
was sure nobody would notice the little
holes in each end.
Put though even Ben himself was
fooled, Uncle John didn't touch a
single one; nor take any salt in his
tea: hor any corn-meal mustard on his |
meal.
BIT he rolled his eyes at Daffy and
Ben and Tommy when he said: ''No, |
thai k you,' in way that set them all |
a-la,ghing.
One thing they kept for the last.
"H we don't fool him with that"
,ail 0affy, good many times, "we
,an with anything
Well, it was two hours after dinner
when Daffy skipped out through the
ong wood-shed to the barn with very |
Eager, excited face, indeed; and it was
1t that same minute that Ben ran in at |
he side door, all in fiutter.
20 Uncle John,'' cried Daffy, "look
out''--
.And see if this isn't Colonel Forney's
lew turn-outa'' put in Ben.
..Stopped before the barn. begged
Oaffy, almost out of breath. "Quick,
before it gets gone.'
'.There IS a turnout, sure, Uncle
TohE:" cried Ben.
''And black boy driving" said truth
nj little Daffy, very earnestly. '.Truly,
.-ncle John!'