Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-12-14
0lA Kaleidoscope,
Soon down the gl.stenlng mo,nlit SLOPE
Tile traverse sltds will swiftly ny;
tIis-a snap-that same old rope
VIII sling the f;gtlyp crowd ak .hiul

WIZ sung the fisilvc crowd sky-higb.
Lester Wallack owns twcnty.sevcn dogs.
This is a sure sign that Lester is getting to be
a poor man.
10 accordance with The ne standard time,
Cincinnati hotels have dinner hall an hout
earlier than they used t., The saving in
provisions is said TO DC immense.
Tue governor of Texas refused to issue u
Thanksgiving PROCLAMATION. 1t was impos-
slble - fiud an editor who could write 1t for
him, they we're all 80 busy stealing their
Thanksgiving turkeys.
Il would not live ali weigh" sang the
corpucnt editor, as he gave orders to the
cook 10 restrict his formerly luxurious die
OF stalled meats, game and wine to plain
beef, bread aud pota'oes.
An exchange says that there are ZOO, 900
grains of wh,a, in n bushel. This truly
gratifying announcement. If there had been
only 600 900 what terrible disappointment
1t would have been
Bernaus, India, has 4 temple sacred to
monkeys. What perfect ovation dude
would have, If he should set ont on an In
dian tour.
In II Hand = mllrnn stands u. the door of
every school house, - see that no scholar
enters who is not properly washed and
brushed. If that rule should be adopted in
America, the boys would enjoy lots of holi-
days.
The Turkish woman is manageable at the
aye OF niue years. Store clerks must have
TO get in their little flirtations pretty early.
"Now wha, does this mean," queried
Mrs. Bascom, boxing up from the rewsps-
per. Here is man that advcrtises Burns
for so CENTS. Who's going to buy burns,
I'd like to know, when you can get salve for
IS cents II stick ?"
Citizens Of Maine are rubbing their frozen
noses with snow, and little bare negroes are
peltiug each other with ripe oranges in Flor
ida. THIS is a big country.
II is said that w. X. Vanderbilt wants TO
he u United States Senator. We don't see
anything to prevent William from buying
out the whole government, If he takes /, into
his head.
Three boys in St. Johusbnry academy
have been sent home for writing unchaste
verses. We believe a man named Byron
was once imm)riazed for the same offence.
A member Of a New York bicycle club
fell in love with and married an intellectual
young woman from Boston, and now he
says he realizes with sadness that he has
taken header
Miss Mary Blake has just published a
little volume entitled "rwenty-six Hours a
Day Mary must have 10 get up just about
two hours before she goes to bed.
Some Philadelp.iA phian,hropists have re-
solved TO seld Bible 10 every family burned
out in the rcceut Shenandoah fire. Bet YOU
its the same crowd that has been sending
red flannel shuts 10 southern Africa.
There is an old lady living in Portland
Me, who claims to have played blnd-man's.
Gulr with Ralph Waldo Emerson. That's
just what the great majority of his readers
nave been doing to this very day.
Inc agent Tor patent safe had an awful
job trying to sell one 10 n New Hampshire
'u''oi' nc ia''er ui"ht know what 1t was.
i'' ''''''sn' " was nc" style OF reftlgera-
WI
"a rel nose is natures danger signal
says writer. Nature is mighty obliging
but II would suit mos, people better if she
:" MI
"b"' h'uc uoes inc j'.o Tram Start :" de-
na'u'a an excited female, waving her va
business streets the Other .f,orroor ,nd
The younr man WAS q embarrassed ,,o, ho
blushcd IN 10 his ewes and me.l,y s,on,.
merej, "Tbrcc-twen,y MAIN"
=,
ost everything by fire. He was dry goods
clerk, and was ''fircd ont"
I.n't /, curious how the fire, liu,e b,,d sro,
cklcs Il red headed man. while il n,.kos
nan with cbcs,uu, ,ocks fec, CO moan Tho,
nc can't sleep nights.
This is the tine Of year when the prudent
wife goes searching though all her husbands
Did summer pants to find some small cbarge
o ee, him a Christmas nrooon, MEL 40,
hen the doctor has to be called in to cut the |
'!d hsh-hooks out of her hands, and dear
ias to buy his own Christmas presen, and |
DOT the doctors bill too
Dr. Dj, Lewis s,vs ,bo, s,omn..,.
DC cured bv WORKING ,ho ,oas 90 aa eau
inc for each word Blamed If we don,,
link il yould bc loss YorL ~ go, W."