davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-06-07
HUMOROUS.

-Bootblacks are friendly little fel-
lows. They take a shine to anybody.
"A man in England has been fined
for biting off the tails of two dogs. He
must be something of Il wag.-Roches-
ter P0st-EIpress.
When a woman wants to get rid OF
her husband for an hour, she sends him
up stairs to get something from the
pocket of her dress.
MIR. Isaacs, can you tale me ware
vas the first diamOnd?' mo. Mr..
Yawcobs;. we're vas it?' Ivy, Noah's
son on de ark; he vas SheY Of der fust
water. = Chicago Tribune.
Maria" said Mrs. Parvenu to her
daughter, '.who is that Mr.. Dude that
the papers have so much to say aboutP
| must ask your father to bring him to
dinner, for guess we ought to know
him. IN. y. Mail.
Lady Ito dry-gOods clerk): IF you
will cut me small sample of this Twill
find out from by dressmaker how many
yards need, and can send for the
goods by the maid.'' Enfant Terri
BILE: .'Why, mamma, that's Just what
YOU said in all the other stores.
Mrs. Malaprop was heard to re-
mark apropOs of the weather: Il cant
see into this Virgins idee. OF course,
Juniper and Satan bein' in pedigree
would be rather like ter git up some
sOrter storm, but it don't seem ter me
that the sun and moons being in etfigy
would raise any rumpus. ''-Rone (N.
~ Sentinel.
An Irishman who had pig in his
possession was observed to adopt the
constant practice of filling it to reple-
ton one day and starving it the next.
On being asked his reason for doing SO,
he replied: .'Och, sure, and isn't it that
/ like to have bacon with strake o. fat
and a strake of lean agually, one after
t'other.- Chicago Herald.
An Arkansas boy, writing from col
lege in reply to his fathers letter, said:
80 YOU think that i am wasting my
time in writing little stories for the
local papers, and cite JOhnson's saying
that the man who writes except for
money is fool. | shall act upon DIR.
JOhnson's suggestion and write for
money. Send me fifty dollars. ''-Arknm-
saw Traveller.
1t was not a doctor he needed:
LAWYER Pullman is an Austin Lawyer
who has great reputation for collect
ing bad debts. II the money can be
got out of man he will get it. 1t was
to this lawyer that little Bob Buckley
referred when he was requested to r;:n
quick for Il doctor, as a neighbor child
had swallowed a coin. Doctor be
bowed, I'll run for Lawyer Pullman;
he'll get the money out OF the kid
quicker n dozen doctors. '-1er0i
!Sittings.
Committee of SOlicitatiOn-''ls
Mrs. Smith at hOme?' Mary Ann
(latelv landed)-''NO, ma'am." Sec
ond Lady of Committee. How I'M
fortunate. We wanted to see her on
business. Please tell her so when you
hand her these cards" Third Lady
Have you any idea when she will be
in?" Mary Ann (who has been drilled
for formalities) Yes, ma'am; she
said when she ran out on the piazza as
how she'd come right in again as soon
as she heard the door shut. - Chicago
Times
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-06-07
The Other Sort Of SWindler.

There were six or eight of us in the
smoking-car as the train was running
down to West Point from Atlanta, and
everything was lovely until the seventh
man got on at a small station. He had
no sooner entered the car than he looked
fixedly at the man who had been telling
Us snake stories, and directly he walked
up to him and called out:
.Ha! you internal swindler, I've
found you at LAST
"Who's swindler?'
"You aIer'
81 never saw you before!
You're liar, and Pm going to
pound eighteen dollars worth of cash
out of you!'
1t was presently discovered that he
recognized the snake-story mai as a
fruit-tree agent who had sold him some
grape-vines which did not show up, and
he was splitting on his hands and making
ready to do the pounding, when the
other Remarked:
my dear fellow, ! insist upon it that
you are mistaken. l was never in the
fruit-tree business, and Ineyer swindled
you out of eighteen dollars.
Il say you did.
Never! Instead of swindling you out
of eighteen dollars on grape-vines, l am
the man who charged you sixteen dollars
too much for sewing machine, and
here's your money"
..Well, now, come to look more close
" at you, believe you're right" said
the seventh man.
"Of course I'm right" growled the
other, as he counted out the money,
land warn you to be little more
careful in future. have-a reputation
to sustain, and grapevine swindles are
not in my line. Here's your sixteen
dollars, and now think you ought to
APOLOGIZE Detroit Free Press.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-06-07
Ba-a-a!-B0sto1s Post.

General John W. Phelps, the sew
enty-three-year old Vermonter, having
failed of election to the Presidency on
the anti-Mason ticket of 1880, has mar
ried Anna Davis, handsome thirty
year-old woman of Brattleboro.-B0ston
Herald
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-06-07

in answer to inquiries why hens lay
soft-shell eggs, it may be stated that the
difficulty is caused by lack of lime.
Pounded oyster shells should be within
easy reach of the fowls at all tmes.-
N. Y. Examiner.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-06-07
The VigilanteS.

Four well-known citizens organized
themselves into 4 Vigilance Committee
for the purpose of arresting some burg
lars that had committed a number of
depredations in the vicinity of their res
licences. They met together and swore
themselves on skull and three Bibles.
They got up their passwords, signs and
grips, so that each would recognize the
other in the dark under any circum-
stances. They armed themselves with
revOlvers, slung shots. Bowie knives,
brass knuckles and bulls-eye lanterns.
The thing worked well, as they were
near neighbors. and they talked the
thing over every night for month
One dark night last week one of the
number heard noise on the front win
dow.
He hastily jumped into his clothing,
and ran out Of his rear door, jumped
over the fence and raped three times
on the basement window of another
members house. just then he heard
some one say:
"Sick him, Tige," and fearing he had
been taken for a burglar, made break
for the fence, but not any too soon. as
.Tige had been on the alert. and sue
ceeded in getting a mOuthful of panta-
looms.
Over the fence went the vigilante and
soon appeared ut the door of another
members house. Here he scratched
softly, three times, and hearing noise
of clicking revolver, again flew the
vigilante, over fences, barns. etc,
throrrh o1lox-., until ho roo obnJ ~. our,
house. With cat-like tread, he
sneaked along up the steps, and had
commenced to try the windows and door
to see if the burglars had been success
full. when three bulldogs daited out
and attacked him from all sides. Bang!
bang! bang! went some pistols from
neighboring windows. The thing was
getting hot. The dogs chawed him all
over, and soon would have finished the
vigilante, but one dog got the other dog
by the leg, by mistake, and they got up
fight between themselves, during
which time the vigilante succeeded in
getting into the house, q badly used-up
man.
1t afterwards transpired, that when
he scratched on the back doors of the
other members houses, each thought it
was burglars. They slid out the front
doors, and went for the others, and
when they saw the first member prowl-
ing around, examining his own windows.
they let out their dogs with the above
result. The committee disbanded the
next day.-Carl Pretzers Weekly.
"a horse at Craigyille took FRIGHT
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-06-07

IA horse at Craigville took fright
at colored man playing fiddle, and
ran away and smashed a lamp-post."
The animal evidently had good ear
for music. but why he didn't run away
and smash the fiddler is the strangest
part of the incident. The lamp-post
was innocent.-Norrtst0Wn Herald.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-06-07


known, until the fever left him. that he
was married and that his wife was liv-
ing.
The sick-bed scene was not an
unusual one. and vet it startled Mr..
Olson when he entered the ROOM The
attitude. expression. and general APP
pearauce of the man suggested an al
most forgotten something that he could
not recall There was some element in
this picture that had been present in
some other picture-and vet. he could
not recall any features of the other pict-
ure. He simply entered the sick room
with more superstitiOus uneaSiness than
he had ever felt before on such an occa-
sion.
The invalid was very weak, and he
spoke with touching humility and ten
derness of his wife He seemed very
child in his over-anxiety to have the
listeners think well of her. His one
great desire now was that some one
should write to his wife and say that he
had been sick-nOt that he was sick
and this fact explained why he had not
written to her. She was very excitable,
and he hoped some one would write
very carefully so as to not needlessly
alarm her. He had thought the matter
all over, and he desired his wife to dis
pose of their little property in the East
ern city and 60 to his fathers, who was
farmer. and remain there until he was
able to start new in life.
The letter was written and mailed,
and Mr.. Olson became much interested
in the sick man. The bearing of the
invalid was peculiar. 1t was evident
that he had been greatly disappointed
and made desperate by misfortunes,
and that he was now suffering from re-
morse and busying himself with new re-
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1883-09-21

L a'r..rA E.- HNgNE L=f.INN5
snd Indian meal: the slicesshohl6 be cut thin. an
shonld be thoroughly dried in.ths toasting procssss
put them in a pitcher, or in q bright tin pail: pour
boiling water over them. and let this stand for half
an hour. This may be iced, or may be drunk while
warm, andf will satisfy thirst and give nourish-
mept at the same time.
baked omelet is quickly made. and is certain to
be light. Heat one pint of sweet milk, and put .
desser.spoonful of butter in it while hot; wet .
meaning tablespoonful of -four In q little cold milk:
when smooth beat four eggs very light with it and
stir into the hot milk; add almost a teaspoonfnlc ct
salt. Bake ina pudding dish in q hot oven. This
may also be served With sauce az pudding.
Adelicate and inexpensive dish for dessert 10
made by boiling some rice until it is perfectly ten-
der; cook some tart apples at tho same time; whom
they are soft. beat them with a spoon until they arc
light; season with sugar and a little cinnamon, and
put a layer Of rice in n pudding dish then a layer
OF theiapple sauce, until the dish Is full, having tho
apple on the top. Serve warm or cold, with cream.
Tart apples make a delicate entree cooked thus:
Cut them In slices away across the apple, remove
the core aud seeds. dip in butter. and fry until
brown i'll hot lard. This should be served with pork
chops or with roast pork.
1t a little salad oil is mixed With must ard for the
table. II is yrenflv iy,prnyai FL .afE
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1883-09-21
IN A LIBRARY.

Lend You e book? Why. certainly!
WHAT will you havep Here is a sweet.
Strong tale of love. 1t brought to me
Knowledge of what great love might be,
How fast a heart might learn to beat.
This book of versesp Twill repay
A hundred readings; or this worn
Copy of Crashaw, or that gray
Volume of Herrick: but this gay
Binding Of vellum hides a thorn.
That? No, I cannot-pardon me,
did not know that it was here.
He wrote it whom l loved, you see;
Try as / will. il masters me,
This bitter little uncouth tear. ...
He gave 1t me himself. My nams
And his linked on a page within.
What il the book brought him no fame,
Small praise or JOY? Twas ali the same
To him-he died devoid of sin.
Yea, not n man whom l have known
Was so much like a saint as he!
These songs, that should have straiyltway flown
Through the wide world, like rose leaves blown,
Have been his own dear self to me.
His soul. it was so pure; as white
As that of yonder infant calm,
But then, he died This? All, a ligh
Chapter Of romance. Yes, it's quito
Your style, soft as q lady's palm.
You'll! have it? Very WE'LL Good-by.
Aud now, with rev'rent hands, III take
THIS book from here, as sometimes /
Have seen a young priest raise on high
The Embiems, for a dead saints sake,
James Eer1U Zen sol.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1883-09-21
For tho Sunday Pioneer Press
THE ONE WHO STAYS
The one who goes dreams evermoro

The one who goes dreams evermore
OF gloriouskingdoms to discover:
Sweet Visions lure him on and on.
y Hopes guardian angels atound him holez.
The one who stays sits all alone.
White YEARLY the days of sorrow
Drag by unchanged by loving tone. H.
Waiting the still receding morrow.
The one who goes finds msnly fame.
A newer love-fond friendships gresfing-
In glory Of an honored name.
Forgets his youthful fancy feetinR.
But she who waits through weary years
With patient hoart for his returning.
Knows well tbs thrill OF bitter tears,
The torturing paug of hopeless yeaKnine.
And yet there cometh, after ~. h
A time when wealth, and fame and povsx
Seem vain and empty, poor and small.
The worthless price Of youths rich,
While she who faithful watts afar.ssi 4
Treading the lowly paths Of duty,
Shall see at last teuthss guiding star
Flooding the hills and yalcs With beauty
-SafaAsa Hobart
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1883-09-21
SPIRITUAL ART.

within the hrsli OF sorae' tree-hidden bower,
I%eHeatlt the sn,nber breaking of the day,
~ soft dea igraeo Ewes tender. body lay -
riIdni gave spirit to complete her dover.
ALEU- burst the oaenirg bud 10 perfect howar.
ahcn flesh wosemanifest from pallid clay, a
Then voice and life and movement marked til o
OF som divine i.npenetratiug power.
30 in those latter days our English art
Lax Mother Eve lay tair yet deadly numb, N
1ili Gods own breath aroused her from the trance,
And giving speech to her who yet was dumb
plated to outward era = The better part.
ahe soul of rich and hisa significance. 3D..
-Enlene Mason
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1883-09-21

one think of tho many KIN 4es that have pressed
them, for these antiques nearly all come from
mosques, where they have lain no one knows
now long. They are made of camel's hair aud
haVe'h exquisite gloss and sheen from time, and
tho colors fade away into one. another until, as
one OF cur party said, They are lovely enough
to make one cry" The prices range all Tie
way from $l0to 81, 900. An extravagant cost,
put any Oriental rug will wear out two genera
tons, unlsss one gets a Murzapoor. which is n
fraiA though very pretty carpet
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1883-09-21

in front and is taken under the .Fedorap
putting. Over tho belt, on either side of the
buckle, are two false pockets of cherry velvet
which have the appearance of two small
basque pieces, In tho neck is small cherry
officers collar. The sleeves open to the elbow
and are trimmed with striped surah.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1883-09-21

n.- IA III
Embroidered silk gauze was formerly in ro-
quest for evening toilets only, but now it also
serves for indoor dresses. There ia a great
difference between the matinee as now worn
aud the same garment as it was first brought
out There is now no material too rich for this
use. and few dressy matinee are without puff
ings. paniers, or draperies of embroidered
gaze de sole. 4 matinee of this kind is made
of crushed strawberry surah. The elbow
sleeves are trimmed with q deep piece Of
cream-colored Spanish blonde. The collarette
has the same trimming. The front opens from
the neck down, like u icnu. Inside of the
opening is d Fedora .auze putting OF cream,
colorcd brocaded silk with small floral designs
This putting is taken from the lower part Of
tho waist to the side, where it is raised. and
then forms the back putting. On the left
shoulder is a crushed strawberry 'rosettc.
Another rosette is among the gauze puflings.
A very new style of wrapper is Of CHERRY
fon!ard. The back is princess shape, and a
single button closes the front. 1t opens over
the usual Fedora" piece, of sural, with
broad cherry and straw-coiored stripes. Tao
Plated skirt is of the sumo striped goods. Tho
bel, around the waist ha. a buckle to close it
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1883-09-21

The ideal and almost uuattainable ice-cream il
made by following this receipt: Two quarts of
two eggs. Beat the eggs: then beat the sugar
with them: then the cream. Let this Just come to
a boil: then remove from the fire. favor with
vanilla, strain 1t through a very fine sieve, or, il
You have none. a clean. new piece of cheese-cloth
will answer in place of one. When cool. put it in
the freezer and freeze. stirring until it is too hard
to turn any longer.
Almond cakes baked ia small square tins are nice
to put with other cakes in a basket. To mine
ounces OF -four allow six ounces of sugar, neatly
half a pound OF hutter. four eggs. two teaspoon,
fuls OF baklng-powder; beat the butter and sugar
together, then add the eggs. beating them with the
butter and sdrar, and not separate: mix the bak-
stiff q little sweet milk may be added. Bianch
some Amends, slice them. and With powdered
sugar cover the tons of the cakes with tue slices.
A nourishing drink for an invalid is made by.
toastiug Slices of bread which is made Of rye flour
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1883-04-14
The Ideal Mule.

No wonder the mule is kicker. Were
| mule, /, too. would kick | know Just
exactly what kind of a mule I would be
BAY mule One of these sad-eyed old
fellows that lean back in the breeching and
think With striped legs like a zebra.
And a durk-brow streak down my back,
and paint brush tail And my name cut
short. and my foretop banged, and head
as long as flour barrel. and Id be worth
"a fiat harness and n binders and some
day when some man hitched me up to a
dray, and piled on a ton and a half of pig
iron, = clrd of wood, six birrels of flour,
and a steamboat boiler | would start of
with it patiently and haul 1t steadily until |
get to the top Of the grade on the new road
around North Hill. and right about there,
and then u falling maple leaf huttering
down in a spirk Of god and crimson, would
scare me but all to death, and the authOr-
ties would h We to drag the Mississippi
River six weeks to find AL of that load and
some Of that driver. while in three minutes
after the emeute l would be TRANQUILITY
brousing on the grassy heights that smile
above the flowing river. That is the kind
of mule would be.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1883-04-14

II Advertisers residing the Cned statra
fr their cards hy Gr-uhscks Cned States
POSTAGE stamps for such hr Ssh aud their
oAris w e inserted Ahss tb for the time paid fof
IJ Business Cafds. ~heb A TEAn.
allowed discount un tess Which Tor transient
advertisements when paid charged quarterly.
Single copies Cents when charged
sineen Cents, by the doEen, One Dollar
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1883-04-14
An Invaluable Hut.

If the Bola nut deserves one-half of the
praises bestowed upon IT in a pamphlet
which has Just been forwarded to Us. its
more extensive introduction into England
would be highly desirable. Having been
submitted TO exhaustive analysis. it has
been found to contain more c4feihe than
best coffee. and the same active principle as
cocoa with les fatty matter. The negroes
on the West Coast of Afro are said to pre-
fer it greatly to tea or coffee. on account Of
its eaIth-creating qualities. This is not
all, however; the nut also possesses the vir-
tue Of it being sovereign specific to Re
move the effects of recent intOxicaton Ii
IS now used for this purpose on a sugar
plantation at Jamaica There the negroes
make 1t into n cream with water and bring
themselves around in Il moment. A further
assertion goes to the effect that those who
habitually consume decoctinns uf this in
valuable product soon lose all taste for
alcoholic stimulants. and even acquire a
strong repugnance for them. If this can
only be proved. the perpIexing problem of
how to cure dipsomani 'cs will be at least in
a fair way to solution. Ii would only be
necessary to keep them in seclusion until
they had acquired a taste for kOI and
then they might be set free without any
risk Of their reverting to the use of alcohol
Globe
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1883-04-14
WONG LEONG & co.

Torner Of Nuunnu and Marine Streets,
- Honou! "a l. Dealers Dry Goods Clothing, Boots
shoes. Hats and Caps. Fancy Goods etc Have also
Hawaiian Rice in quantities suit Also
Choice Tes China Seine Twine, China silk Handker
chiefs and SAshes.
Ot0aers Of MOaHai Sugar Plantation. NolOkdi
AxeaIs--KailuA Rice Plantation KsOpa Rice Plantation
and PaIams Rice Plantation jslo 81
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1883-04-14
Maxinnus.

hold him great who for loves sake
Can give with generous. earnest will:
Yet him who takes for loves sweet sake
l think hold more generous still.
bow before the double mind
That freely some great wrong forgives
Yet nObler Is the one forgiven
Who bears that burden we'll and lives
1t may be hard 10 gain, and still
To keep lOwly, steadfast heart:
Yet he who loses has TO fill
harder and truer part.
Glorious IL Is to wear the crown
OF a deserved and pure success
He who knows how to fall has won
4 crown whose Iuster l. not less
Great may he be who can command
And rule with just and tender SWAY:
Yet Is divinsr wisdom taught
Better by him who can obey.
Blessed they who die for God
And sarn the martyrs crown Of light
Yet he who lives for God may be
greater cOnqueror IN His sight.
ADELAIDE PROCTDH.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1883-04-14
M. McINERNY,

IMPORTER AND DEALER IN CLOTH
II ING Boots. Shoes. Hats, Caps Jewelry. Perfumery
Eet Cutlery every description Gents Superior
Fa.nshine Goods u Benkert's Fine Calf Dress Boots,
-IEays hand
y Z CoaxER or FoEr ASD MsRcHAST STREETS. JanlsI
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1883-04-14

of all things man possesses, woman alone
t,kss pleasure in being possessed
Re loving and you will never want Tor
-. be humble. and you will never want
for guiding.
r. would be easier to endow fool with
;.,.rsct th n to persuade him tn ne mad
none. -
tn. tea-table is never so attractive as
- the tea equipage." as our grand
mnsbers mnIm used to cali it, is presided over BY
her who knows just how much sweetness
~ n nut INTO ones tea. and her own expression, SION;
70 P pbe asks you what is the news down
sown7" Try it, ladies' 1t doesn't cost
much