The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-05-12
G~ENTLEMANLY JOE,

All the Year Round.
That was the name by which he was known
in the ~banking-house of Dueat. Gulden &
Ducat, or at least in that branch of it which
did a thriving business in the great CONNER
cial city OF Birchespool. 1t did not require
more than five minutes acquaintance, now
ever, to inform the uninitiated that the APP
,parently complimentary epithet was be-
slowed rather from a keen sense of hunior
on the part of his fellow-clerks than on ac-
count of any exceptional claims to blue
blood in the case of Mr.. Joseph Smith him
self. Even the casual customer, whose
knowledge of Joe was limited to watching
his self-satisfed smirk and watch
guard at the other side of the shining mahog-
any desk. or admiring the emphasis with
which lie utilized his moistened thumb in
overcoming the gregarious leaves of his ledg-
er, must have been struck by the misappro-
pirate epithet. To US, however, who had, so
to say, sat at his feet and marvelled at the
war of independence which he was carrying
on against the Queens English-a guerrilla
warfare consisting of attacks upon aspirates,
and the cutting off of struggling g's-to US
our fanciful soubriquet was a joke of the first
water. If anything could have enhanced
our enjoyment of it, it was the innocent
gravity with which our companion accepted
the doubtful title, and, after one feeble re-
monstrance, adopted it forever as his own
prerogative and right.
The circumstances of that remonstrance
deserve to be recorded. Before the arrival Of
Mr.. Joseph Smith from the p~aternal training
stables-his father was q successful sporting
tent who had developed into a trainer-our
efloo had been a particularly aristocratic
enc. Welstead, our senior clerk, was a fine,
handsome young fellow of twenty-six, who
Gane of a good Scotch strain. and was occa-
sionally understood to make dark al
1usions concerning the extinct Earldom
of Stirling; Dullan and Moreby were
Oxford men, well connected and we'll read:
little Sparkins was the son of a high church
clergyman, ana | had some of the best blood
Of Wales in my veins. No wonder, then,
that our dignity was hurt by the appearance
of o loudly-dressed, scorbutic-looking youth,
with horseshoe pin and a necktie suggestive
OF spectrum analysis, upon the very stool
lately vacated by my old college friend,
Vernon Hawkins-most gentlemanly and
quiet of mankind.
For a few days we contented ourselves with
observing the habits and customs OF the
creature. There was an audacity about his
vuigarity, and a happy Inconsistencies OF
all ofIense, which fairly disarmed criticism.
IL was not until he began to address us as
"old pals" and went the length of PLAYING a
small practical joke upon little Sparkins,
shat a spirit OF resistance began to stir within
our bosoms, ana that Weistead. as usual, was
pushed forward as our ~mouthpiece.
ttXO1 Con Smith " ha ronNarEad e., 1.c ,.ank
1anguid tones, you have beer in our Office a
comparatively short period, and yet you
have taught us many things which were new
TO as. There is a natural buoyancy about
your character which points you out as one
calculated to shine in the most select circles.
Before your arrival we had never learned to
designate ladies as 'hllies,' nor had we heard
OF the real gents whom you mention as hay
3ng frcquented your fathers establishment.
These things interest and please us. Allow
US to show som small sense of the honor
your society confers upon us by christening
yeu us 'Gentlemanly Jos excusing the lib
eFty wo take with your name in considera-
tien Of the ALTERATION"
A great part of thiss speech must nave been
lost upon Mr.. Joseph, but never did elaborate
Rarpasm fall so utterly Hat. Instead of being
offended, as we had fondly hoped would be
the case, he burst into an uproarious tit of
laughter, and slapped his gathered leg with
ff1O NbOHl hiti ~ tOhCh VI utllRnI IuMi
aawi" be foared, w%rithing about on the top
81 tlIs high stool, "Whatever'll father saw
Oh, law, to think of III 'Gentlemunly joe
clip You're right, though; you're right,
and not ashamed to WI UP, neither. said
when | WAC comm up, Father says /, ri
ssaeb tlleth II trick or two and l have, hnln't
~ OF course were all gents here, for clerks
Is Ees'iy reekonod such, but it do mike u
difference when q man has ben brought IN
CeRtSs with the real thing, You can call
Fss deRilenanly Joe, an pleasure, but
net ss R~'saning 10 imply that there Ie any In
&his rseaa not such, though, maybe, not enc
of Fsp hRs seen n beited hurl give your
gather enc in the short ribs and heller out,
ffen're 2 deop eld sceundrel, Smith. and one
rs kRaws how ,Rany beans makes nvel'n
Welstead's face at the idea Of his equity
gsverBsF receiving such an attention
ht ths bsgdg of nobility wns SO ludlorous
chat We sill bNrst inte a roar Of laughter,
Fhioi' eRded III and last attempt to
&%S&N buoollo companion.
~ SSNeN- Fent under u CON
pnual Shower OF o and ohaG and