The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-26
8 Arp, The Ex-Rebei Humorist,
Tells the Story OF mis- Life.

Tells The Story OF MS Life.
When | was eighteen years Of Z ny
good father gave me an Interest II H.
bu-ire.s, ami | settled dcwn 70 a mercan
III, lie. IL was an old fashioned store
, General stock a. we called IT a little
y, e,erthIn. that the humble, primitive
r@eDplc Of the couutr wanted. | earn
4 more Of human nature there than |
yer earned anywhere, and | learned
.iv,htv. We sold goods on a wear tine
.nl lhen tapped over a part OF the debt
the customer cUulG not pay 1t ali.
Sometime, a fellow run away, ami my
,arl ~ balanced his account with I.
l. gone TO Tcxa-.' aud that was the
.u,, Of il. used 10 think there was a
,,wcr OF ra>cals roostIug IN those Iexa,
w,,i>. aud | reckon there was for
everybody run there from our county
when they got into trouble and wanted 10
lo,il, the sheriff or the jail. w >oid
goods AT a hunired per cent. generally
ard could afford To lose a tew debts All
lic hltle things like lace, aud thlmbles,
I'D COMBS. and j~~ws-harps. and 80 forth.
sc sold Tor three or tour times what they
cost H.. used to sell hddies tor SIX
lollar- that cost me a dollar aud "A halt
Ituvers used 10 take hait OF a
M ~ land Cor defending the title cd
-. Banks used ~ charge $500 tor cut
ny a rock out Of a man. Dr. Nlidman
harged a whole Niger for curing hlm 81
che small pox. Nobody, but a tew rich
;o.ks, could ride IN a carriage. or wear
boots and store clothes, and linen bosoms
ind mus in aud palpItatlug lace, and
COX Oh a stove. aud have glass windows.
ma a piano, and book music. Most Of
nur reople We're just toierablv well OF =
,u~t comfortable ana my "a her used 10
al lie made all hi. mvuey oat Of them
ha; he never made anything u OF rich
ok. They wouldn't pay a ..lr profit,
Iui they wanted too mucu indulgence
There was a clever OLD man liSed over
her. whose name was 4. q
>linmons-and oncc Il month he brought
nju our store Tor Us To >ciI On cummls-
>lcn a few dozen or - packages ot yei-
CIV pow 'er lone VI IN br Hn paper anc
ed up WI h old strings He said il wa,
made of white ash roo and may apple,
aud would cure chIlls TIL, lever aud
~aper,' as it was cal ed. He dried the
roots and ground them up IN u coffee
mill. We sod the first medicine he evel
put up, and 10y aud 10y IT got u be pop
u'ar, for il WI a good medicine. ard thu
oil man EXTENDED his CT cunt aud pcddltt
round in his little wagon. lie never al
vrrtlscd amy. After lie died some Nacor
ncn took it up without any credentials
and then Zoilin got II, and now Summon,
aver medicine is known all over the wild,
world hut whether 1t Is the same or no
nobody knows. The oil man never call
Ell it liver medicine. | don't think h,
knew that folks had l~ivers. But mos
everybody have got livers now, aud mos
Of 'em are sick or diseased, and we ar,
finding out that We have ali got a par .
kidneys. had heard Of EN-, but knew
iothiny hardly until this man Warner be
san TO sound such an alarm bell all ovel
lie country. He has mighty nigh scare,
nalf the people into a belief that they
rave got Bright's disease These patenl
medicine Fellows are mighty smart, bur
hey haven't got any % my small change
ct. | don't believe that any druggl-l
,ught to be allowed to sell any paten,
ledicine that has not been inspected
md anallzc aud endorsed by the State
~ledical Drali.
When | got TO be twenty ole year:
I'D | suddenly took "a notion that meas.
urlug off tape aud calico, aud weighing
out copperas and nails and the like, wa.
IA ! usiness most too Hunted for my am
bition, and SO | studied a little passed. o
law and began 10 attend the Justice,
courts around in the county. Tom Alex
ander was doing the same thing. and tn,
first case we had was down at Ber
Smiths dristrict. when a Teller had sueC
another feller for thirty dollars worth .
S ander. | dident know that IA slande
case couldeDt be tried IN a Justice
court, and Tom dident know it, nor tn,
old Squire, or the jury, and 20 we roll
ed up our sleeves and hitcheG into III,
case like killing snakes. We beat tn
atmosphere aud clawed around and usct
language immensely for an hour or two
and then submitted the case to the jury
and they retired and soon came bacl
with a YER let We, the jury. find TO
the plaintiff three dollars unless the de.
iendant VIII take back what he said.
Vel. | was for the defendant, and SO
took my client out IN the bushes ard al
vised him to take il back, and he did il
aud then the question came up as t
who should pay the cost. We argue
that LUMINOSITY for awhile, and the jur
retired and came back with a verdict
We, the jury, find that the lawyer
shall pay the cost Tom aud | stoo
square to the rack and paid 1t. We too
our clients notes for five dollars IA piec
(Which we never do collect and cam
home proud of our !%aurels.
Not long after this | married me a wifi
and went regularly into the family busi
mass. and have ....l,l horo- -,
most >~anguine expectations. \ numer
Gus progeny have grown up around Us
aud childrens' children are never SO har
py as when they get to grandpas. Fo
twenty five years We lived IN town and
practiced law and made a good living
but as the years rolled on the more
longed to revive the pleasures of m
youth, and SO a few years ago | bough
me a farm "a farm with creeks an,
branches, and springs and meadows, an,
mountains close by and [ can sit in III
piazza and look otf upon a beautiful
prospect, and see the sun 90 down be
hind the western hills.
BY invitation | made a speech no
long ago AT a farmers barbecue in
~neighboring county,, and | spread my
self IN encouraging our people to keeI
up with the progress of the age
aud | pictured the innocence and honest
and independence OF a farmers life i
m~ultitudinous language. | was cheeret
and congratulated, of course, when
got through hut an old grizzly feller
with braSS-bound spectacles came vi
and says he to me, NV friend, you tall
mighty well you talk like a lawyer. bu
would like to know if you can tell wha
kind of a calf will make the test miIct