Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-10-05
sQl-lBS.

Village Preacher Haint | done
gone tole yo', Eph dat its wicket to
cotch fiss on dc Lod's day:
t1phraim twho hasn't had a bite all
dayl- Who's eotchin iiss3 lo cawn't
case me.
An English newspaper gives as a
simple recipe for clearing drains and
waste-pipes of grease, the pouring Of
concentrated I've into them Appar
entity the same result might be oh
tanned by letting Nennor or eli Ter
kins use the pipes rs a speaking tube.
MIR. White said "a Harrisburg
lawyer to a witness III the box, at
the time these papers were executed
you were speculating, We're you not
Yes, sir.
'sGou were in oil z
Il was
and what are you in now
Bankruptcy and the poorhausct'
was the solemn reply.
Mr.. Stebbns put beehive, one Of
the old fashioned kind ont in'hls mel
on patch, and the gentleman who
visited the spot in the moonlight
thought lie had got hold Of the big
gest watermelon on earth, till he had
luggcd it about four rods, Then he
began to doubt about its being Il mel
on, and in one second concluded that
il wasn't and dropped it right there
He didn't pause To look for "A melon,
either
The old gentleman met him at the
door almost before Hernandez's hand
had left the bell-knob, and with one
courtly gesture of his paternal hand
waved the young man in the general
direction of the front gate. Hernandez
oboyed with infinite tact and courtesy,
remarking, as he moseyed down the
deserted street, that he knew the
signal service had predicted "A cool
wave from the northwest, but he
had no idea it would get along 50
soon.
A scheme is reported TO DC on foot
iii the Chilian army, having for its
object the conquest of the Sandwich
Islands Several hundred American
and European adventures arc said TO
be organized for that purpose. King
Kalakaua is very unpopular among
his foreign born subjects, who pay
most of his taxes, and his little army
Of four or five hundred men is not
worth speaking Of Ii would be Il
trivial exploit to dethrone him.
NEARLY all the Prime Ministers Of
England reached mature age. before
they attained To the honor. Mr.
Gladstone was 80 when he first held
the position. Lord Beaconsfeld was
G3. Lord Palmerst0n 20. Lord Derby
50. Sir Robert Peel 50, the Duke Of
Wellington Sc, and Earl Russell So.
In striking contrast with these vet.
erans appears the youthful Pitt, who
became Prime Minister before he had
completed his 18th year.
When the Union troops entered Is
land No 10, after the rebel surrender,
they found dilapidatcd old grave
yard with one newly-made grave. At
its head was pine board, on which
was rudely cut with jack-knifc the
| following inscription:
Brave Southern .fiend who fell
A.figitin at Island number ten,
S0arn were gi0r1Ts end.
Sweet spirit rest IN Heren
There b. no Yankees thar.
! There is great activity in the I'm
glish nayg-yards. Russia is preparing
| the railways which run 10 her Ger
man frontier for the movement Of
| troops. Turkey is troubled about Bull
/ garia, the rulers Of France seem to
i have lost their heads, Spain is almost
ready to get rid Of Alfonso, Austro-
i Hungary is watching Russia, the
mighty German army is ready TO move
on short notice, and altogether the
! outlook for continued peace in Europe
is not encouraging.
/ The man who was observed with
Scent stamp on his left ear, endeavor-
/ ing to climb into letter-box, and
clarnoring for them TO flesh on their
posh pffices Gosh he was SO drunk he
couldn't 90 to them, is believed to
hold the theory that the office should
seek the man, and not the man the
office
Scene at the base ball grounds: A
ball was knocked sidewise and caught
out on fly.
Foul and out, was the cryof the
umpire.
A charming iligh-school girl, look
ing IT the game, CALCULATES:
.Ah, really. how can it be fowl2
I don't see any feathers.
And she turned to her attendant
with an inquiring look.
We'll. oh. Yes, You see, the reason
you don't see any feathers is sbecause il
belongs to the picked nine.