Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-09-13
Hnmaruns department.

HAD FUTURE.-s'I want YOU to leave
my house, sir )" exclaimed Judge Nettleson,
angrily addressing the young man who
sought his daughter in marriage.
81 may leave your house, and, in fact, l
have no objection to the structure remain
ing exactly where it is, for have no means
of moving it, but do object to leaving your
daughter, whose affections / have gained
and whose life would wither like q flower
out of season were it not interviewer with
my own"
s'You talk like romantic fool, sir. What
have you got to feed my daughter on, sir ?"'' "
"What Is she in the habit of eating |?
What's her regular diet? Idont propose
food revolution"
''She has been accustomed to eating, and
if she were to marry you, l am convinced
that she would be obliged to forego that
pleasure. There is no use in talking to me.
You can not marry my daughter, and In
this refusal I feel that the entire State OF
Arkansas will take an approving interest" "
"Old man, cannot help but smile at your
recklessness. You do not know me. You
think that am poor, untitled and unknown,
but, sir, I have future before me-"
"IfI thought so, you might take the girl"
"And if can prove it to your satisfaction
will you give your consent to our mar
riage"
"All right. say that have future be-
fore me-"
"That's what you said"
II have, for if I did not have future be-
fore me, where would have it? You don't
think that have future behind me, do
you? A mans future is always before him,
and to correct any error into which you
might have fallen, I viii! state that it is a
man'spast that's behind him."
The old gentleman reflected for moment
and replied: II always said thatmy daugh-
ter should marry either rich man or the
biggest fool in the country, and as you are
not rich, you may take her."-Arkoasas
Traveller.
MOSQUITOES IN MIssIssIPPI.-"Now,s sir,
answer me truthfully. Do you believe that
sixof your biggest mosquitoes could kill
mule if he was tied up out, here?"
He looked at me in amazement for min
ute, and then went to the door and beckon-
ed in the man sitting on box and watching
the horses. When the man came in the
native said:
civilian, you remember that air roam
mule o. yours?"
II reckon"
in perfect health, wasn't he?"
"Could run like a deer and kick like q
sawlog?"
"He could"
"And he was all alone in ten-acre lot
William ?"
"He was" ,
"And two of them mud-swamp skeeter;
got arter him one morning and run MN
down and killed him, and devoured both
hams and sucked every drop of blood IL
l.
0Snanger, if they didn't, then 1 hope tt
be chawed to rags" said William, and he
said it exactly like a man who Wouldn''
have allowed there were two 'skeeters II ht
hadn't been earnestly convinced Of the fact
He walked out doors, and deep silence
fell upon us two, broken only after long
interval by the native saying:
''I've allus kinder suspected that then
two 'skeeters had assistance from hoss
fly, but l can't prove it. kinder think the
hoss-fy held him down while the murder
was committed"
A JUDGES PRESENCE OF MIND.-I coult
write some touching characteristics of Dodge
City and it's vicinity if chose, says cor
RESPONDENT of the Louisville Commercial
There are fifty men in town with "re
cord''-haVing killed their man each. There
is Judge Mcintosh. The judge was only {
Squire, but he took jurisdiction with thu
best courts in the United States. He wa
also police judge, Scotch-Irish and coroner
One of his celebrated cases was that OF al
Irishman named Kelly, who killed anothe
Irishman by driving pickaXe through nj
head.
"You hear the charge fernenst you p
asked Nc. care you guilty or no
guilty?"
"Well," says Kelly, slowly, 81 killed Pat
and suppose Pm guilty"
Says the court slowly and deliberately
and with intense brOgue: "kelly, ye're
domm fool for owning to it. Now, IN Civ
you one more chance; are you guilty nov
or not guilty"
!punched Kelly, and said to him: "No
guilty, you-fool."
'Not guilty." says Kelly.
M you for %an Wf int OF aoy
$50. Mr.. Sheriff, collect before you releas
the prisoner"
This was before over one hundred people
A PUZZLED ENGINEER.-An eminent Ell
gineer of to-day says that when a younl
man in his profession he was one night in
Pennsylvania tavern, and lounger wa
pretty much monopelizing the converse
tion, and to the disgust of the engineer, wa
setting up paSa an oracle III engineering, anon!
other things. Says the lounger: YES, sir
the arch is alfred strong, you bet! TAX
an egg! The shell of that is an arch, and
can stand an egg on the floor here in such
position that you can't break it with tina
half bushel measure there, hit as hard a
you will" The young engineer though
it was time to prick the bubble, so he be
the fellow $40 that he could smash the eg,
with the measure, be the position of tn
egg what it might, if it was put on the foo
uncovered, The egg was brought, and tn
lounger at once stood it on the floor in tn
corner of the room. The engineer did no
even try to fit a round measure into squar
corner, but threw down his money and left
but he hated barroom Wiseacres worse thai
ever.
pg The derivation of the word Texas i
involved in a great deal of obscurity. Their
are three or four different accounts of hoV
the word originated, but they are all mor'
or less improbable. An old Texan impart
ed to us an entire new legend last week
The legend is surrounded, so to speak, will
such halo of probability that we think tn
mystery is solved at last. Many of the ole
settlers of Texas came to this, then unnamed
region because they had to leave home O
be hung. They loved their former homes
nevertheless, and were often homesick. Oh
such occasions, initiating the children o
Israel thew were wont to hang their harp