The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1883-08-29
The Plug Operator IN Trouble.

81 think a good deal of my success in
life is due to the fact that it has always
been NV policy to take things as they
come. But when things quit coming,
what's a fellow going to DO? Now,
things have commenced to quit coming
in the Western Union. operating room;
Night before last cigars quit coming, Il
last night my order for ice cream was
dishonored. / didn't miss the cigars
the first night, for, having dlneo ratner
heavily in the evening, / had no desire
to smoke. I find that I have been din
ing too heavily Of late, anyhow, and the
rich food I've been eating is making
boils come out on my neck.
When 7 called the check boy last
night. and ordered him to bring me a
few mild cigars out Of the chief oper-
ator's box, a sickly smile came over his
face. and there was that in his eye when
sent a Manitoba wave up my spinal col
umn.
".There amt agoin' to be no more CT
gars for you fellers," said this Ishmae-
lite; cigars is played out,
"''No more cigars?' | calculated.
"rNixy,' sneered the una hyena;
''nixy. I guess you fellers III have TO
tackle flyers again. Iubbs SEES the 70
cent cigars make you nurvis, SO you
can't work the key. Tubbs ses it's for
YOUR own good not to smoke cigars what
cost more'n a nickle. Tubbs ses ham
GENERATORS work better when dey smoke
sim So
".Look here said | in a commanding
voice. II do not care to smoke. BRING
some ice cream and cake
"'Tubbs and Cloway,' answered the
Williams street imp, says ice cream is
bad for de pancratic CLAM, or sumtlng,
and ham operators always feel better
wen dey bies it demselves.'
"sWhat do Tubbs and Clowry know
about nv pancreatic gland? said scorn-
fully. This is a terrible let down. Does
FELTON, know what's going on"
".Yes, / should holler, said the snlck-
ering mocker,' FELTON, ses he would as
leave feed lobster salad to de stuffed
whale as ice cream to a plug operator.
He SEES it's THROWN perls afore swine.
FELTON, told CIowry dat he ougnter bl a
har,I oy tobacco stems and a few doZzin
CLAW pipes, instead of feedin' yeu fellers
on is cent cigars as ell give yer de jan
ders. FELTON, ses If yer want ter make
han operator feel contented feed 'em on
section-house hash, let 'em chaW stumps
an smoke painted cabbage leaves, an
den put him to bed in a hay loft. Eel
ton ses-
II know the boy invented a good dea
of this, but he must have heard some Q
it. Is this what we get for coming t
the rescue? Isthis our reward for stand
ing by the corporation when 1t was sue
merged in trouble? What business is
of mine if the restaurant bill for Jul.
was $1,000? What did the the chief op
orator show it to me for?'
Isn't it enough that | had to planl
down my nickle when ! rode nome =
night? The company is still furnishing
the grub. Let them cut off the victual
and / will join the brotherhood eve
now at heart. Let even a roast potat
be missing tomorrow and | will mare
out of the office to assert and maintal-
and fight for the rights of labor.lN B.
I'm pretty well fixed for cigars; | hay
got my clothes out of hook; I'm soil
With my boarding house, and know
fellow 1 can hold up for the drinks fe
a month "-Chicdgo Meas.