Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1883-08-24

SUCH things must Dg stopped: ------
"Und sometimes somepody rings softly
shust like cat, und my vhife WANTS to
know who vhas dot. "Me Who vhas me !?
Katie? Who vhas Katie Why, Shake,
doan' you know dot vhidder vhomans you
met on der boat? Say, Shake, how vhas
der oldt vhomans to-day ?" Ond how vhas
dot on me yhen goes home? Und how
can make der oldt vhomans pellet vhas
in my saloon all der time, und dot doan
know some vidder vhomans from a load of
hay I tell you, Mister Shackson, dot
telephone preaks oop my family if doan
look oudt. Fiery day it is Hello Shaks!'
und efery evening when I comes home it
is some more crying and talking like
vhas der worst man in Detroit"
He was promised speedy and permanent
relief, and as he backed upstairs to the
sidewalk. he said;
"Vhell, dot makes me feel like Was
Shake y on me, let him come to my saloon.
gif him some telephone convenience so
he vhas lame for SIX month !''-Detroit
Free Press.
THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT-NEw
RENDERING.-This is the domicile erect
ed by John commonly known as Jack.
This is the embryo lntoxication that was
temporarily stored in the domicile that
was erected by John.
This is the mischievous rodent who,
thinking there was no danger lurking in
his track, partoQk voraciously of the en-
bryo intoxication that was temporarily
stored in The domicile that was erected by
John.
This is the watchful feline that extermi-
mated the rodent that partook voraciously
of the embryo intoxication that was tenn
porariIy stored in the domicile erected by
John.
This is the canine that worried the
feline that exterminated the rodent that
partook voraciously of the embryo intoxi-
cation that WAS temporarily stored in the
domicile erected by John.
This is the female bovine, with malform-
ed horny excresences, that lowered Der
head and elevated the canine skyward that
worried the feline that extermlnated the
IOO6uU tudt pdEGOOk tOTGCINuSly VI LILO
embryo intOxication that was temporarily
stored in the domicile erected by John.
This is the maiden who, in state of
modern mental melancholia, stripped the
tactical fluid from the mammalia digits OF
the female bovine, with the malformed
horny excresence, that lowered her head
and elevated skyward the canine that wor-
ried the feline that exterminated the ro-
dent that partook voraciously of the en-
bryo intoxication that was temporarily
stored in the domicile erected by John.
This is the man of piety an celibacy,
fresh from the hands of the tonsorial artist,
who united in thu bonds of matrimony the
the maiden given to periods of deep mel
ancholia who stripped the tactical fluid
from the mammalia digits of the female
bovine that lowered her malformed horny
excressences and sent skyward the canine
that worried the feline that exterminated
the rodent that partook voraciously of the
embryo intoxication that was temporarily
stored in the domicile erected by John.
This is the pauernal head of the barn
yard domain, whose shrill clarion sent its
vibrations upon the circumambient atmos-
phere, reaching to the hermitage of the
man of piety and celibacy, rousing him to
attend to bis matinal devotions, aud sent
him first of all to the tOnsOrial artist, from
whence he emerged in highly improved
state externally, and fitting him to unite
In the bonds of matrimOny the maiden
given to periods of deep melancholia who
stripped the Tactical fluid from the man.
malta digits of the female bovine that
lowered her malformed horny excresen-
css and sent skyward the canine that wor-
ried the feline that exterminated the ro-
dent that partook voraciously of the en-
bryo intoxication that was temporarily
stored in the domicile erected by john
Bricktop.