Arizona weekly citizen., 1883-04-15
NEW YORK. April !, is,s.
Breyities.

Is Lady Florence Dixie's story true l Or courset is.-Lowell Cour.
 A lovers puzzle How to get tht market money after the wedding.
 The best thing out at this season o ! the year is out-Of- doors. | In this world a man must be either anvil or hammer.-LOngfellOw.
 Men are women's playthings; women are the devil's-VlctOr Hugo.
 The man who is hanged by mistake cant see the point of the joke.
 Another hotel horror, as the man said when the hash was set before him.
 Men do not blow out their brains be- cause of too much pressure in the upper story.
 The new five-cent nickel will pass very well for a quarter in the cOntriOu- ton box.
 A prize fighter should be paid iD English money. The pounds are sym bolic oi his profession.
 The electric light ls so much superior to gas that 1t Is a wonder politicians don't dispense with the latter.
 The lives of great men all remind us that the best of them can do foolish things IN. O. Pic.
 If anybody 'has the name without the game" it's the average swell New York sportsman.-N. Y. Com. Adv.
 Elephants milk may be very nice, but the milking must be a mean job. A COW can generally kick a man across a barnyard as far as he wants to gO.-Bos. Post.
 The questain is asked us if there IS anything that will bring youth to wo- men. Yes, there Is. An income or. say 5000, will bring any number Of them.-Rochester Ex.
 Senator John Sherman has recently acquired flesh. Once be was 0f the pro portions of a fishing Tod. He has now grown as stout as the handle end. N. Y. Herald.
 The American hog is not wanted in Germany. Reciprocity demands that Bismark should recall the great German bore, Ii TT Most. and convert him into sausage meat.-N. Y. Com.
 A child in Oregon died the other day from swallowing the leaves of an alma uhNs lAlc St'iAlt5 HllbuAtA IC AtAANli OAiA hA dates before they are fed to young chll- dren.
 It was a four-year-older who asked: "Papa, have you done anything down town to-day that you think I ought to whip you for, if were as big as you are?"
 There are abont 7j0,O00 species of in sects, and yet Solomon advised the slug gard To go to the ant. The remaining ,999 genera must have felt awfully slIghted.-N. '. Com. Adv.
 Tom Thumb regrets his small stature, when, If he'd been the size of an ordina- more thrashings a day than he could have kept count of-Bos. Post.
 A news item says the male members of a Pennsy sylvania family are "bewItch ed" The next-doOr peighbor evidently has some very pretty daughters. It of ten happens that vay.-Nor. Her.
 Governor Cleveland has pardoned a forger out of prison on the condition that he will not touch liquor for fiv, years. and lots of people think the for ger was fool to accept on those terms. -Bos. Post.
 Gener.l Sherman kisses every girl to whom hs IS introduced. Tecumseh al- ways was a reckless Cuss, much given tO cutting away from bis base and depend ing on the country for his supplies as he went along.
 Speed the parting guest Things one would rather have left unsaId. We've had such apleHsant evening, Mir Jones. May beg of you to ask one of your servants Co call hansOm:' With pleasure, Mrs. Smi,h."
 Venus rises two and half hours be- fore tbe sun. It naturally takes the old girl some time to kindle fire and get the tangles out of her hair before break fast time. The sun gets up earlier when the weather gets warmer.
 Jupiter through telescope shows a red spot 9O,OO miles long and GOO wide With 8 high maguifying power this part of the plauet k said tO look as if Chi cago girl had rested one foot on her way to Heaven.
 When Henry James was writing his Portrait of lady" his publishers won dered whether the story would ever end. Finally the editor of the Atlantic wrote him to this effect: "Is your story really portrait or a panorama! !'-Eas- tern EX.
 Mistress to new cook. "On Wednes- days and Saturdays I shall go to mar ket with you." New cook: "Very well, mum; but who's goIuP to carry the basket the other days|