Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-05-09
The Art of .Bracing Up"

When Esculapius confidently asserte'
in the presence of his disciples that ther
was somewhere in the world an effica
cious remedy for every pain, he spok
with greater wisdom than he knew. Th'
Star reporter, in the course of hi
percgrinations, recently learned of ;
benevolent and thriving pharmacist wh'
has gained a proud reputation for hi:
ability to exercise every type of inebria
ton. He is commonly spoken of 10y
those frail young men who bring hin
the most patronage as ''the great Ameri
can brace-up," and is venerated by thest
as one who loves his fellow-men and de
serves to be classed among the truly
good philanthropists of the earth. The
nature of the compound he uses is one
of the Dundreary mysteries, which nc
fellah can evah find out" but SO potent
is it that man may enter his establish
ment in state of beastly intOXicatiOI
and leave it half an hour afterward re.
juvenated, clear-headed, confident and
in his right mind,
The shrewd druggists customers art
as various and as plentiful as blackber-
rieS in the season of flowers and sun
shine. The young swells or harmless
dudes who have been tempted into tax
ing more champagne than would meet
with the approval of their worthy par
ents, and who are afraid i'll consequence
to get under the family roof-tree lest
their desperate struggles to climb the
staircase and seek the solitude of then
quiet room should awaken their slum-
bering progenitors and involve them
selves in difficulties, turn to the drug
giSt as naturally as the daisy to the sun.
Prosperous clergymen who have peTmi
ted themselves To indulge somewhat fire
ly in after dinner beverages which
would be much more polite to eScheW
have been known more than once to come
here evincing as much anxiety to be
sobered and put i'll state to attend an
unexpected call as was ever exhibited
by De Foe in his long search for the
elixir of life. Ladies who have spent
the afternoon together and find that
extra dry' has produced an effect
which has put them into state To pro
.duce still greater effect upon their hIIs-
bands should they venture home III such
condition enter the drug store and III
innate as quickly as possible that they
have a sorrow for the proprietor to heal.
Half an hour of rest: with draughtS of
this mysterious compound at short inter
walls, generally restores the fair libantee>
ts a proper state of nature, and they &c
on their way rejoicing and with more
appreciation than ever before for the
wonderful invention of man.
"Some of my customers are very curl
Gus ones;'' said the man who is daily
beneiiting his race to the Star reporter,
as they mutually watched the exit of a
Young man, the dark lines beneath whose
eyes demonstrated that BacchuS had
marked him for his own. There is in
this city of temperance a lecturer OF
some prominence, and who is in receipt
of large salary from the societies with
which he is connected, but he seeks me
oftener than he probably realizes him
self. He came to me last Sunday morn
ing-nOw this is a fact-in a state not
dreamed of in the philosophy of his adj
mireTs. | restored him to his mental
equilihGium, and, az sure as you are
there, he staggered in again at two O'Clock
in the afternoon, with tears i'll his eyes,
begging to be once more relieved and
saved from ignominy, for he was engaged
to delivera stirring lecture before large
audience an hour latter
''Do you have many professional peo
ple?" was asked.
'Their name is legion. Physician:
who are suddenly called up To patient
after a social evening with their friend:
have come here for 'brace-up' before
seeking the bedside of the sufferer
Lawyers and judges are always fond OF
Iconviviality, and many of them hav,
| found that can subsequently do then
good. Once in while minister forget:
himself, and then he discovered the SAINT
thing. | also have many lady patients
Not longago was called to the sidewalk
where | found handsome and elegant
| ly-dressed lady weeping bitterly i'll he
carriage. She confided to me that sh,
| had lunched with lady friends at Del
mOnico's aftera shopping tour, had Ia
ken more champagne than she had beeI
aware of, and dare not return home. \
few doses of my medicine dried her tears
and she departed with no visible signs o
her indiScretions save a few dark line
beneath her pretty eyes,
Not all the bibulOus, however, know
of this place of restoration, and so i
transpires that the fame of the ''cOck
tail'' will not speedily .wane while
the lords of creation will still permi
themselves to indulge in spirstuous liba
tions. Apollinaris, gin tizz and seltZe
lemonade must continue necessity, eX
cept as the Bacchanalian learns of th'
wonderful druggist who can give hin
back his reason in one short hour, witt
"A touch as gentle as that of a limne
restoring picture by an old master
Many of the men who look upon tn
wine as it giveth its color in the cul
have, in their bed-chambers champaign
cocktails in bottles, of which they par
take as they dress in the morning
| Other devotees never start upon jOuTIl
ey without carrying with them tias
of this recuperating fluid, although tn
drink can be obtained at almost any raj
road restaurant. Sporting men an,
boxers are particularly prone to thi
weakness, and more than one man, felle
ostensible by soft glove, has been i
reality knocked out 10y a champaign
cocktail.