Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1883-03-14
GaIes ano Sketfkes.
THE ODD-LOoKIyG NAN.
CONTINUED from Yesterday

Tn our return TO England, i nan 10
mourn the loss of an affectionate mother.
who died almost heart broken at the fail
ure of all the hopes she had built on her
first-born, and, as was generally supposed
her favorite child. Henceforward re-
slowed to bury myself in my books, and
turn nv back. once for all. on world
which had hitherto greeted me only with
contempt and ridicule. For year or two
steadfastly adhered to this plan, when it
was Temporarily suspended by one OF those
mysterious chances which sometimes be
fail the most unobtrusive and secluded Of
lives So with myself. I made acquain-
lance. quite accidentally. with young
lady of personal attractions, and yet more
remarkable talents. Circumstances threw
ms much together; and soon began for
the first time ingmy life, to realize the ten
der passion. Strange to say, the feeling
was reciprOcated and, with the consent
at least, If not appreciation, OF our mutual
families. day was fixed for our union.
But whether through accident or dispen-
sation of Providence. an unexpected hitch
occurred at the eleventh hour. .ouspi-
cions were awaken of screw loose some
where And, finally, | was compelled,
by stress of circumstances. to make a clear
breast of it, and the engagement was
amicably terminated. / will only add
that this lady, eminentlv fitted by her
talents 10 shine in the social sphere, sub
seauentlv made IA worldly and better as
sorted marriage. and is now the mother of
q numerous family.
Relapsing once more into silence and
solitude. pursued my fivorite studies to
the detriment of my physical health, hith-
erto excellent The doctors unluckilv
prescribed stmulants. and with the I'M
looked-for result that |, who, up to my
thirtieth year bad been remarkably alb
stemious. and, indeed. water drinker
during the earlier part of my life, now
speedily berame a confirmed tippler not
D. say an ..habitual drnnkardt" | do not
attempt self justification. nor dare allege
oralirres possibility, can only plead ex
tenuating circumstances. All can affirm
is that an abnormal nervous organization.
from the very outset of this new phase Of
nv life found instant and inexpressible
relief from copious alcoholic libations.
Rather, perhaps, it was the substitution of
one phase of temporary insanity for
another Alas how often and how fatally
have | practically parodied the Shakes
pearian aphorism There's a pleasure in
alcoholic madness none but alcoholic
madmen knew' My constitution gradually
gave way. until chronic state OF nervous
exaltation was finally capped by smart
fit of delirium tremens. Providentialy
rallving out of the jaws of death, | made
repeated vows of abstemiousness and
even abstinence. But | was continually
reapsing. The latter stages were even
worse than the former. | lost all relish
for study. and spent days and weeks in
lethargic state verging on moral paraly-
sis. IL was neither the dreamy paradise
of the lotus eater, nor even the ecstatic
halluclnations of the opium-eater in the
earlier stages of his fatal indulgence.
Rather did | experience that chronic
sense of conscious delrium and of almost
demonacal possession which is said to
haunt the victim Of opium in the latter
stages of his progress.
One by one all my friends had reluctant
ly cut him whom they considered the
disgrace of the family | found myself
alone in the word. My married sister.
residing in the south of France, had
throughout maintained an aflectonate and
sympathetic correspondence with her
erring brother. and now kindly urged me
to spend winter season under her roof.
accepted gratefully; and, thanks to her
the mastery over my passion. But
after a brief spell of reform. we were
again forced to separate, for fear of
public scandal and bad example to the
The slopes of the Maratime Alps. it is
well-known, abound in heath-resorts for
summer tourists. So soon. then. as
found myself once more cast adrift | re-
solved on seeking out the most remote and
least trequented, of these mountain fast
nesses. There it was my fixed purpose
to put sure, and, az | hoped, speedy
finishing stroke to useless and humiliat-
ing existence. In short. | had deliberate
" determined on perpetratiug alcoholic
suicide. On the extreme frontiers of
France and Piedmont. perched some 1000
feet above the sea-level, lies narrow
plateau. or mountain ledge commanding
an extensive and almost unrivalled pros
pect. The place takes its name of Notre
de Ia Fenetra from a window-like aper-
ture in an overhanging mountain, which
pious tradition attributes TO the miracu-
lous passage of the Blessed Virgin bear
ing the infant Jesus in her arms On the
sight of her resting place below the noun
tain. a chapel has been erected. consecrat-
ed to the cult of the Madonna. 1t attracts
thousands of pilgrims from the distant
towns and villages both of France and
Italy. on the 10th of August, the fiesta of
the Assumption. Here is also a modest
but comfortable auberge. for the accom-
mediation of the numerous tourists who
visit this romantic and salubrious spot
during the briet summer season.
took up my abode in this little hosiery
in the month of July. is, with the full
expectation of ending my days there. and
at no distant date. Meanwhile. | held
doggedly aloof from all intercourse save
with the rough but kindly and honest folks
who supplied my daily needs. But to no
purpose did | invoke Death. | could
neither live nor die. At last, strangely
enough. a sudden revulsion Of feeling
took possession of me. Hope, as it were,
even against hope. seemed to revive in
me. Again hankered after life, and as
pired to more normal existence.
Reader. do you believe in presntiments?
Hitherto had been sceptic. in all mat
tiers savoring of spiritual or extramaterial
agency. But natural instinct will revenge
itself from time to time. upon even the
most stubborn of unbelevers. In a mo-
ment fell victim TO credulity; | felt u