National Republican., 1883-07-31

Silence thy nightingale
Kiss me, my rosel
LUKE WARM is the name of a Benton bank
cashier He is entirely too chilly to ever get away
with the funds Of the bank
"a PRETTY oasis Of unreasonableness in a
desert of common sense" is the description of the
American girl given to London audiences by Oscar
Wilde.
AFTER carefully studying the American
dude, Du Chaillu has gone home to Europe with
his notes. and will now write some more about
baboons and gorias
REMEMBER" says one of the social philos-
ophers OF the Lime Kiln CLUB dat you can't Judge
of dc home happiness of man an wife by seein'
dem at Suudayskule picnic"
| A SICK boy in New Jersey asked his mother
If God spanked little angels when they were diso-
bedient, and receiving negative reply, closed
his eyes and calmly vanished up the golden
| ladder.
JOSH Billings has selected a rough grave
stone from the quarry near his native village.
Josh wants to be sure that every word put on 1t
is spelled wrong before he dies. 1t is his idea Of
| humor.
Boston Transcript: There are few things so
irritating in this life to wait half an hour for
your adversary at checkers, and then have him
look up, as just aroused from nap, and stupidity
inquire, 'NHOse move Is IL
THE North Adams Transcript hearsa rumor
that Gov. Butler has given $1,000 to Williams col
lege for a gymnasium. The Pcdyune says the
governor evidently intends raising muscular
| class to clean out Harvard.
THE eastern papers are somewhat excited
over the fact thata wild (?) woman in a semi
nude condition Is roaming about Il New York for
est. Let's see; is Lydia Thompson in this country
1t may be the celebrated actress on summer va
cation,
Two Illinois lawyers are now the happy
possessors of two splendid Illinois farms. A few
months since they belonged to two thrifty farmers
who quarreled oyer a dollar aud half pig.
Put on our glasses and look up the moral of this
story,
A MEMPHIS woman last week, in all def
ance of the heated term, scared her husband, de-
lighted the doctor, and doomed the local census
with triplets-big, strong, healthy, and all boys
Nothing serious, only u little son shower-Bur.
itngton HdWkeye.
TEXAS SIFTINGs: Several fashionable
churches in northern cities have announced that
they are closed for the season. Fashionable re-
ligion cannot stand hot weather. What 1t is CO.
ing TO do hereafter, in its unacclimated state
only heaven knows.
P. T. BARNUM has presented to the Church
Of the Redeemer at bridgeport complete set of
stained glass windows at a cost Of $1,000 The
glass is said to be real and the best quality,
though Barnum is quite capable of paming off u
bogus article ON the Redeemer's church.
New YORK laws are very accommodating.
Cornet Levy gets divorced from Marion Conway
on the ground that he had another wife living.
He preferred this to trial for bigamy. In fact,
he said Conway was nice woman and that he
was willing to do anything to oblge her.
A RETURNED missionary in delivering o
lppturp concerning lands i'm Nyhph hp had Ia
bored spoke of some exceedingly rugged territory
} he had visited lie said "The roads up these
} mountains too steep and rocky for even mon
key to climb; therefore, did not attempt the as
. | cent"
: PROF. HARRIS, of the Concord school of
, philosophy, says: "That which should be con-
nued by its environment might still be finite If
1t could arrive at au environment of different
5 kind which did not continue it," And right in
the face of this statement the telegraph operators
t struck says the Hartford Post
THE proposition of Capt Webb that on a
- wager of $4,000 he will undertake to shoot Mag
: ara Falls, said the Turf, Just before Webb lost his
life, calls 10 mind an incident in the reign of Car
Z Nicholas, half century ago. or thereabouts.
4 Looking out oil his window one day he saw large
and interested crowd on the banks of the Neva
l. He sent officer TO find out the cause, and
a learned that man had bet five roubles-about
a S3.75-that he could run the river on tho
r ice, which was then in that treacherous, half
v liquid state caused by the commencement of the
i spring thaw. The man performed the perllons
l. feat received his ivo roubes, and then Nicholas
d had him arrested and logged with one hundred
s stripes. For" said the cZar, "a man who will
}. risk his life for such sum is capable of commit
t. ting any act of baseness for similar consdera-
ion
=, Two valuable lives have been lost in Ger
many within the last six weeks by participation
III in dues on the american plan" This duel Is
one in which lots are drawn to see which of the
a two principals shall kill himself In ordinary
r. duels the chances favor the escape of both par
Ne ties, either unhurt or with flesh wound. In the
IN american duel" the man who draws the wrong
r lot has alternative. He is bound In honor to
10 destroy himself Such duels have never been
ID common In this country, but are called "Ameri-
~ can" in Germany on account oftheir deadly char
acter, and to distinguish them from the compare
lively harmless run of German duels A recent
to victim of this method of fighting was Or. Fried
u rich, an able and popular surgeon in the German
, navy. On the night of June ~ while on board
the ironclad frigate Deutschland he drove bull
m let through his BRAIN in fulRlment of his pledge
il day or two ago Prof Pullitz OF the Berlin uni
yersity, killed himself in the same way. He had
10 refused TO fight with his adversary with pistols
10 because the latter nearsighted, and proposed
~ the horrible american duel" giving each man
it AN equal chance for his life. The duel is a bar
10 barous practice at best and the deadly absurdty
n of the American plan" may serve to throw dis
credit on the whole code in Germany
SPEAKING OF tho enormous wealth and
Az spleudor of the English arisocracy the New YORK
H. Euening Post says that "when we read in Dis
re raelis Lothair "-"His grace was accustomed to
e' say that he had only misfortune, and 1t was
great one, he had no home His family had mar
ried so many heresses, and he, consequently, pos
ne sessed many halls and castles at all OF which,
III periodically he wished 10 reside, that there was
no sacred spot identified with his life in which
his heart in the hustle and tumult Of existence
could take refuge, &C., we are apt to dismiss IhI
lg passage at one Of Mr.. Dsraeis rhetorical nose
IS gals But what the novelist says is literally true
and the duke referred TO is the father OF Lord
~ Ronald Cover. The first four chapters Of Lore
n' Runalds memoirs are devoted to a description OF
+ the various houses and castles OF the Leveson
to Cover family. stafford house. in London, 4
70 the most splendid of them and the queen, OF
>" making one OF her visits to It, said to her hostess
Ia II have come from my house to your palace
Of Rogers the banker poet, said that although he
10 had seen all the palaces Of Europe he preferred
ha stafford house TO any of them. Among Its ar
treasures are two Murillos of which Spain wa
Mt plundered by Marshal soult who got nearly Oft
ed thousand pounds for them and another MurlllC
en- which is In the Louvre also TWO portraits by Va