Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-29
BRIGHT AS A NEW TIN CUP.

Bearing Mr.. Arthur in mind: Proud
Mr.. Blobbs-"lf my boy amt goin' to
he President, signs don't count. Why,
that boy ii run away from school every
| day to go a-fshiu'. "-l4ouisville Courier
| Journal.
A grand danes irony: An old lady
was asked her opinion about Mrs.
Smith, her next door neighbor. "Well."
| she said, III am not the one to speak
i'll Of anybody, but l feel very sorry for
Mr., Snith."-Rochester Post-Express.
The dude and the maiden: Jaw, i
hev such dwedful cawld in me head"
remarked the Ivy street dude, a. he
stroked the tender tip OF his nose yes
terday. Better that than nothing"
was the witty but cruel response Of q
Peachtree street maiden who heard
him.-Atlanta Constitution.
Castle Garden aristocracv; they
were Boosting about ancestry. "My
forefathers," said John, "came over
from England On the Mayflower."
| "And my ancestry" said Pat, "kim
over from Jamestown on the Sunfow-
er. ITS aesthetic, am, begorra."-
LEVEL Citizen.
| " ldl III 'uSlOIn
official holding up two black bOttles)-
apparel only in this trunk. What are
these" Lady-"So / did. Those are
my husbands night-caps.'-Life.
Prog ess IL the word: "What are
you doing here" demanded lady Of
the new colored cook, whom she
found displaciDg books in the library.
What's | dom, lady? What's doin'?
Now, OATS fine question ter AK
stugenf aPers makes II pint ter Fam.
inc de election ob'stitics while de
pots billin'." The cause OF education
among the colored people Is advancing.
-Arkansaw Traveller.
Time required: II wish you would
have tie pegs properly taken from
these shoes" said Chicago girl 10 q
shoe dealer, from whom she had pur-
chased pair the day before; "they hurt
me so | cannot wear them" Certain.
ly, Mrs" was the obliging answer,
'but / am afraid you will nave to wait
a day or two" "Why so?r "WelI,
We already have q job OF the same
kind ut the fOundry and the steam peg
scrsper is not in very good working or
DER Rochester Post Express.
A strange sight: The SomerviIie
| Tenn Falcon brings this story OF one
OF the. daughters Of the dusky race, who
has just made her first visit to the
Episcopal Church In that place. On
| reaching th0m she said: Look here,
missus; I never seed such dom as that
at that church afore. The people
they te's prayin', and prayin', and tie
preacher he boiler at um TO get up and
den be gets mad and turns bis back on
'em, and don't have muffin TO do with
EN-"
Hints about Coquettes-Give the
Devil bis due and the Coquette her dude
-COquettes are like cats: they love
petling. This accounts for sparks In
the dark-Always make o friend Of q
Coquette before you fall In love with
Der. Then you can corner her when
she says, "But let me bs your friend"
A Ccquette can play her cards Just q,
Well when you are holding her band.
Indeed, this is her frst trick-After ali.
there Is one nice thing about'C ouuettes.
She and lightning never strike twice
ID the same place. There IL no need
Of IL - All flesh IL grass, but a Ccuuette
toesn't object to being called daisy
Life
AlphOrisIn from the qalrters: %.
rainbn. might he better lookin' Of
twa'n't sech chcap,show. d. bot
tom o de mesi-box make mighty pc