Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-06-02

spot for the poor man.
The "Autocrat of the Breakfast
Table" is spoken of as rare book,
and yet it is well done.
Every public enterprise needs the
cooperation of hotel-keepers. The
hotel keeper is host in himself.
A man of pluck-a pickpocket?
The upper part of the thermome-
ter will soon begin to attract attention.
An optimist is one who believes an
organ grinder can be Christian.
An artistic lawyer can draw con-
clusion with the chain of circumstan-
tial evidence.
Although it appears to be nearing
its end, the Star-route trial ought to
be expedited.
A Polish novelist boasts of having
written $50 stories. No wonder Free
dom shrieked
The Chicago Herald is of the
opinion that Jay Gould will. in all
probability, sail his new yacht in
bOlnc VI lilo WdltltQ otOCh.
Hens may be little backward on
eggs, but they never fail to come to
the scratch where fowerbeds are con
cerned.
A correspondent of the Louisville
Courier journal has made the as
founding discovery that many of the
orangemen in Florida are Catholics.
The Queens knee at latest accounts
is little better, but her physicians
have forbidden her most gracious
majesty to play football.
Longfellow said: SIN this world a
man must be either anvil or hammer.
He thought nothing of the poor fell
low between the two.
An old lady in Albany boasts of
having attended over one hundred
funerals last year. Some women
have a great deal more fun than
others.
NO" he said; II suppose Clarence
and i will never be friends again. /
lent him ten dollars yesterday, and
hereafter ] presume we shall meet as
strangers
The philosopher who wrote the
axiom: Success lives two doors be-
yond,' must have lived out on the
prairie, where the houses are 100
miles or more apart.
The amateur poet, whose produc-
tons have so often enlivened the
blaze of country editors fire, should
not give up in despair. There is
wealth in store for him at the hands
of patent medicine proprietors-
Il see there are several editors en-
route for Europe remarked a Full
ton street man to friend. II wonder
why they select this season of the
year for trip?" 1.-THE crown jewels
of France are to be sold this month, -
was the explanatory reply.
A New Hampshire wild cat sprang
from tree at a boy and landed in a
kettle of boiling soap. The disgust
which the animal felt over its faux pas
land the rest of it's body, for that
matter,) entirely took away its appe-
tite.
A young politician explained the
tattered condition Of his trousers to
his father by stating that he was sit
ting under an apple tree enjoying
himself, when the farmers dog came
along and contested his seat.
The Duke Of Cambridge commands
the British camp at Aldershot, his
son Fitz-George runs the brewery
there, and If the Duke can only get
the suffers store for his brother-in-
law, Prince Teck, the fortunes of the
Queens cousins will once more look
bright and promising.
A colored Bible-banger and theo-
logical slang whanger announced his
text as follows: "Whar de bee be, dar
be de honey; whar de hen scratch,
dar be de bug, 'cept prebioush hen
has been dar an got dat bug
"We'll bet on the ''prebious' hen.
A wild-eyed reporter rushed into
the sanctum this morning and in
formed us that although his brand
new baby was bald headed, had no
teeth, by gum! and was as "homely
as mud fence stake with bullfrogs,"
yet he loved the little rascal better
than the profession of journalism.
If you want to find goo logician,
go to your tailor. The other day one
Of these fractions of the human
family was overheard to remark: 81
never ask a gentleman for money"
'But suppose be doesn't pay your
"Well, il he doesn't pay me within a
reasonable time, l conclude he is
not gentleman and then / ask
him."
A New York lady, while visiting in
the West had some experience with
a cyclone. While asleep at friends,
the house was blown over and the
lady pinned to the earth by heavy
rafter. It was supposed that she was
crushed, but when they dug her out
she opened her eyes and speedily
fmurmmed, "Jane, / feel a little un-