The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1883-07-28
WISE AND OTHERWISE.


-Cowardly: II was 10 ther cawardly in
the apnplexy to strike little fellow like
Tom Thumb.
Old song revised: John Browns
body lies monldering in the ground, 'ut
the Q Teens knees limping on"
An old story explained: The boy
stood on the burning deck" He had
probably been sent on an errand and told
to hurry back.
School discipline: Forty-six per cent.
Of all the school children in Austria have
black eyes. This speaks well for the dis
cipline of the playground.
-Political: The City Marshal of Dodge
City, Kansas, will be candidate for re.
election and base his claim upon the fact
that be has killed a cowboy at distance
of three Hundred yards.
"A calamity: Please to give me
something, sii?' says an old woman. Il
had blind child; he was my only means
of subsistence, and the poor boy has re-
covered his sightl"
-Fsnderson in society: Your sister
has sweet mouth, Mr.. Brown" remark
I'd Mrs Smith. Yes, added Fender
son, anxious to say something arpropri-
ate. "and such large mouth, TOO"
Every mouth was shut Immediately and
Fanderscn wished he hadn't opened his.
Mr. Mupdape's SON "Chrrles, said
Mr.. Mundane. 'you cannot hope to sue
coed in the way You aro going. You
shonld take. advantage nf your iopportun-
tiles" Father" replied tire yonng
man, his breast heaving With emotion.
II hope am too much of gentleman to
take ndvan age Of anything.
-Rehgiuns Observanccs: There is n
beautiful practice common throughout a
portion Of Mexico for little children to
kneel before II stranger and pray that he
may have a safe journey. And the faith
ers of u e children have practice, not
so beautiful. of "layin' for" the stranger
in tho forest with jack knife two feet
long.
-MaddeninP: College students dent
please as table walters. When Yen call
one u miserable jackass for spilling the
soup down your back and giving you a
sllt-cellar flled with sugar, he of course
emit answer hack, as it is against the
rnles of the hotel, but lie can say some
thing to another waiter in Greek which
you cant understand, but which you feel
,urs is horrible abuse ofyourself, aud it's
awful maddening,
"A prayer explained: why" asked
a govrrness of her little charge, "do We
pray to Goi to give us our daily breadi
Why don't We ask for four or fiye days
or week." because we want it fresh,
replied tine ingenious CHILD.
Boston brown bread: A Peruyiar
living IN Milan has made clock entire
ly out OF bread. FIgg says bis landlady't
biscuits would make excellent weights
for clockwork, but he doesn't believe
you could ever get them up after the.
bad once run down. We should jI1s e
however, frcm what Fogg says, tha
those biscuits are run down pretty often
Complimentary What sorter pic
tur' do you call that2" asked an Arkau
sls farmer, pointing TO a terra Gotta bus
ni Charles Dickens. That is q bust O
Charles Dickens" "Iutended TO lool
like him, amt i,i' "Oh. yesr' avail
can sympathizs with him. for lived il
the swNmps long time myself Zouns
how bilious he must have been when tina
thing was tuck"
Dining by the almanac: "Snbscril
er" asks "Can you explain why so man
people who are not Catholics make it
point to eat IN on Fridnys2" Yes; it
bccIuse Friday is the only day in III
week when fsh can be found in th
m rket.
Fogg back from his vacation: Speal
ing of swell dinner, where the ladir
were being dressed extremely deco
lette. 'onebody remarked that o
the table were all the delicacies of II
season. Yes" said FogR, "and all sor
} Of indelicacies around it,"
The fair thing: ''Now, MIR. Owe
charge, what will it cost TO have hot an
cold water put all through my houst'
well, can't give very close ostima
uutil tho job is completed. will do Il
fair thing by you, though." SO Il
plumber went 10 work and three montl
later ! e owned the house
Why they do not speak: "oh, goc
morning, my dear, I'm so glad to ?,
you; bnt you must excuse me il ket
, right on packing. We 90 TO the seasit
this afternoon" "Oh. my. how con
you" "Yes, the seaside, Cicely, dea
It is so charming, the breeze is so bra
ing and" "Yes. but how bedrabbl'
one looks at the seaside. But then u
ALWAYS did look better with your dress
limI s@y lopsey." For rsoms reason the
is perfect indifference m the part
ihase friaaJa as IN Uhsve aaoh nofa