Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1883-04-17
Too Many Degrees.

The middle aged lady, with black
alpaca dress, worn shiny at the elbows
and q cheap shawl, and a cheap bonnet
and her hands all puckered up and blue
as though she had just got her washing
out, went into the Office Of d prominen ent
Mason few mornings since, and took 6
chair. She said:
"Are you the Boss Mason ?"
He blushed, told her he was q Mason
but not the highest in the land.
She asked him if he had taken the
whole two hundred and thirty-three de.
grees in Masonry.
The man assured her that there were
only thirty-three degrees, and that be
had only taken thirty two. The other
degree could only be taken by a very
few who were recommended by the
Grand Lodge, and they had to go tc
New York TO get the thirty third de-
gree. The lady studied minute, and
said:
Where does my husband get the
other two hundred degrees 2"
The prominent Mason said he guessed
bar husband never got two hundred de
grees, unless he had degree factory.
He said he didn't understand the lady
! (''DOes my husband have to SIT uE
with corpse three nights week ?" she
asked, heF eyes fiasbiug fire. ''Do you
keep a lot of sick MasoHs On tap for my
husband 10 set up with the other three
nights?"
TIE prominent Mason said he was
thankful that fen. Masons died, and
only occasionally one was sick enough
to call for Masonic assistance. "Bui
why do you ask these questions,
madam ?" said the prominent Mason.
The woman picked the fringe off her
shawl. hung her head down, and said :
well my husband begun to join the
| Masons about two years ago. and he has
been taking degrees or sitting up with
people ever since, and he comes home al
ali times of the night, smelling of beer
and cheese. I thought at first that the
| cheese was the result Of bis going 20 the
morgue to help carry brother Masons
home after they had been found i'll the
river. He has come twice with the
| wrong pair of drawers on, and when
asked him how it was, he said it was a
secret he could not reveal under penalty
of being shot with q cannon. All he
would say was that he took degree. |
| have kept little track of it, and I fig
ure that he has taken 233 degrees, in
eluding the grand Sky Fugle degree,
which he took the night he came home
with his lip cut and lis ear hanging by
| q piece of skin" P"
20, madam" said the prominent Ma
| son, there is no Sky Fugie degree in
| Masonry your husband has lied to
you"
That's what think" said she, as q
baIeful light appeared in her eye "He
said ne was taking the Sky Fugle de
| ,.ron outI fof tb ho oEy j-b
| had him sewed up, and he was ready
for more degrees. After he had tazen,
[ should think, about a hundred aud
fifty degrees, I told him l should think
he would let up on it. and put some po-
tatJes in the cellar for winter; but he
said when man got started on the de-
grees he had TO lake them ALL or he did
not amount TO anything. One time
wanted hat to wear to church with 8
feather on it, and he said feathers were
all nonsense, and next day he brought
home leather case with q felt coal
skHttle in it, and y feather OF it thai
couldn't have cost less than ten dollars
the way figure millinery. Aud when
| he put it on and / laughed at his ridicu
lous appearance he began to throw his
arms around, and / asked him what
was the matter, and he said that was
the first haiiing sign of distress, and if
didn't look out al avenger would ap-
pear from dark closet and run a toad
sticker through me for a scoffer. He
must have spent fortune on the hun
dred and fifty degrees One morning
he came home with his coat-tail split
right up the back, and his pants torn
! just as though a dog had chewed him,
and one eye closed up, ard wad of hail
| pulled right out of his head, and he said
he had been taking the 2O0th degree, but
| he Wouldn't tell me how it happened,
because 1t was dead secret. Sometimes
a brother Mason comes home with him
early in the morning, and they talk
about a full flush, and they both act
full as they stand on the steps and talk
about their pat hands," and raising
'em OUT and calling and bob tail
| fush.' One night when he was asleep,
1 heard him whisper, L raise you ten
dollars and when l asked him what it
meant, he said they had been raising a
purse for poor widow. Another time
he raised up in bed, after he had been
when I asked him what it meant, he
said he was ruined if told of 1t, He
said he had spoken the pass and
| if the brethren heard OF it, they would
put him out of the way. even as Morgan
was put out of the way Mister, il i
stand pat your pass ?"
The Mason told her that it was not.
That the words she had spoken was an
expression used by men when playing
poker, andsbe added that he didn't
believe that her husband was a Mason
at all, but he bad been lying to her all
these years.
She sighed and said, That's what /
| thought when he came home with lot
of ivory chips in his pocket. He said
they used them at the lodge to vote on
candidates, and that white chip elects
and blue chip rejects candidate II
you will look the matter up and see if he
has joined the Masons, Will be obliged
to you. He says he has taken all tine
233 degrees, and the boys want him to
join the knights of Pythias I want to
! get out an injunction to prevent him
from Joining anything else until we get
some uhdefclOthes for winter. Il tell
you what l will do. The next time be
says anything about Sky Fugle'degrees,
and consistory nonsense, L will take the
washboard and make him think there
is one degree in Masonry that he has
skipped, and now goodbye. You have
comforted me greatly, and I will lay
awake tonight until my husband comes
from the lodge with his pat hand, and
i will make him think he has fora OF his
| ante n-Peck's San,