The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-19
HUMOROUS.

AN article entitled elbow to Wash
the Baby is going the rounds of the
press. Persons who read it will be sur
prised to learn that the infant s washed
with water, but is not run through a
wringing machine and hung out on the
line to dry NorristoWn Herald.
Here is little Georgian's prayer,
as given in the Gwinnett Herald;
s'Lord, I've got a cold; awful one, too.
| want you to come and cure me; cure
me quick, too. I can't see you, but
guess you can see me. Wake me
up soon in the mornin' Don't care
whether you wake Henry up or not.
| Amen.p
in town not many miles from
Boston man stepped into neighbor's
house, where he saw the head of the
! family lying upon his back on the floor,
and his wife standing over him, as he
thought, with a threatening air. He
was about to withdraw when the pros
trate man shouted: "Come along in,
Steve; she is only chalking me out a
pair of pants.
An old tar-heel who was ''thar''
says that at the battle of ChancelIors-
vile, while the fight was raging, Gener-
al Rhodes rode up to General Ramseur
and asked him what time it was. Ram
seur, pulling out his old time-piece
! slowly, said: General in such an
emergency as this my old watch never
runs" Rhodes ''tooll" right oil and
returned to where the bullets were
ticking" the seconds Chicago Irtb-
atne.
=" am sorry to inform you," said
a man to an Arkansas gentleman, ''that
your son has been killed in a balloon
ascension - How?'' asked the gen
| tleman. "Well, you see, he went up
with the professor and the balloon
dropped suddenly and killed both of
them $50 it was the descension that
killed himP My friend, when you come
into this neighborhood with a piece of
information, give it straight "-Arkan-
Sos I'rGUeler.
Wee johnnie was riding on the
cars with his mother and dropped on
the floor one of the peanuts he was eat
| ing. After he had finished the others
he began to climb down to get the one
on the floor, but his mother stopped
him, saying that he could not have it.
He knew that his mother would not
change her mind, and be sat still in ST.
lence for several minutes. But he could
endure it no longer, and soon pitt
full little voice piped out: Mother,
cam get down on the floor and look
at that peanut?n
Rev George T. Rider, in his North
american ReUteW article on journalism,
says: "a latter day parvenue, its ephem-
eral futter, its perpetual coming and
going, its very irridescence transciency
and unresting fiux constitute its rGison
d etre. - Its illumination is
cold, auroral, spectral, as of the cere-
brum." OF course; to be sure; GER
tainly. We never said it WASH t-and
we shall anxiously look for solution of
Mr.. Riders puzzle in the next number
of the ReUie,C. We could never guess
it. -Norristo,Cn Herald.
AT dinner party the little son of
the hostess was allowed to come down
to dessert. Having had what his moth
er considered a snfficiency of fruit. he
was told he must not have any more,
when, to the surprise of every one of the
| guests. he exclaimed: '.f YOU don t
give me some more II tellp' A fresh
supply was at once given him, and as
soon as it was finished he repeated his
threat; whereupon he was suddenly and
swiftly removed from the room, but he
| had Just time to convulse the compa-
ny by exclaiming: '.My new trousers
are made out of ma old hsd -room cur
tainsl''