Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-06-01
Pleading His OWnNse.

A doctor nameS Royston hal sued
Peter Bennett for his bill, long over
due, for attending the wife Of the lat
ter. Alex. II. Stephens was on the
Bennett side, and Robert Toombs.
the Senator Of the United States, was
for Royston. The doctor proved his
number Of visits, their value accord
ing to local custom and his own all
thority to do medical practice. Mr..
Stephens told his client that the ply
sician had made out his ease, and as
there was nothing wherewith to rebut
or Offset the claim, the only thing to
do was to pay it.
No." said Peter, Il hired you to
speak to my case, and now speak"
Mr.. Stephens told him there was
nothing to say; he had looked on to
see that it was made ont, and it was.
Peter was obstinate, and at last Mr.
Stephens told him to make IA speech
himself if he thought one could be
made.
& will" said Peter Bennett. ''if
Bobby Toombs won't be too hard on
me-"
Senator Toombs promised. and
Peter began:
"Gentlemen Of the Jury: You and
| is plain farmers, and if We don stick
together these ere LAWYERS and d ctors
will get the advantage Of us. | ain t
no lawyer nor doctor, and amt got
no objection to them in their proper
place: but they amt farmers. gentle
men Of the jury. Now this man Roy
ston was new doctor, AMI went for
/ him to come and doctor nv wife's sore
! leg. And he come and PIT soma salve
truck onto it and some rags. bnt never
done it one bit Of good. gentlemen Of
the jury. | don't believe he is a doe
tor. no way. There is doctors as is
/ doctor, sure enough. but this nan
don't earn his money. AMI If Won sen
for bin. as Mrs. Sarah Atkinson did.
/ for a negro boy Is was worth $1,000
he Just kills him and wants pay for it.
Il DON'T" thund red to doctor.
"Did Won cure him." askel Peter,
with the slow accent of a Judge with
the black cap on.
The doctor was silent, and Peter
proceedel:
AS | was saying, gentIem Of the
Jury. We farmers when we sell orr
cotton. has got to give value for the
money we ask, and doctors amt none
too good to be put to the same rule.
And | don't believe that sam Eovston
is no doctor nohow.
The physician again pm in his oar.
with, look at my diplomt il yau
think | am no Ioct,r.'
His diploma" exclaime the neE-
hedgei orator. with great contempt
:His diploml, Gentlemen, that is
a big word for pinted sheapskin. AMI
it didn't make no doctor Of tn sheep
as first wore it, nor does it Of the man
as now crrries it. \ good new>ptp'r
has more in it, and I'll p.ntoVr II voa
that he amt no doctor n all.
The man Of Medicine was nov in a
fury. and screamed ont: Ask my
patients if | am not doctor"
Il asked my wife relortel Peter,
'aud she said as how she tholgh; yoI
was not"
ask my other PATIENTS" sAil Or.
Revision.
This seemed to be the straw tha'
broke the clmel's blck. for Peter re-
piled with look and tone of unutlera
BILE sa lness: That IS "A harl swing.
gentlemen Of the jury, and on" a re-
quires me to die or to have power a.
I've heard tell ceased to be eXartel
sine the Apostles, Does he expea'
me to bring the Angel Gabriel down
to loot his horn before his tim and
CRY aloud Awake ya dead, AMI tell
this court and jury yonr opinion o
Royston's practice: Am | Il 20 I,
the lonely churchvarl and rap on the
silent tomb and say 70 nm as Is At las
at rest from physic and doctors bills.
Get up here you, and state if Won i ell
a natural death or was hurried UP
some BIZ doctors| He SAYS ask his
patients and. gentlemen Of the jnrv,
Mey are al de4it Where is Mrs
Beazley's man SAN? 60 ask the wo-
man in the churchyard whore she lies
Mr.. Peake's woman Sarah was a-ten |
led BY him, and her funeral was ap,
pointed and he hal the corpse ready
Where is that likely Bill as belonged
to Mr.. Mitchell? Now in glory an
expressin' his opinion Of Roys'on':
doctorin'? She are where doctor.
cease from troubiin' and the infant,
are at rest.
Gentlemen of the jury. he has eat
chicken enough at nv house to pay
for his salve, and | furnished the rags
and | don't suppose he charges for
making her worse, and even he don't
pretend to charge for curin' of her
and | am humblv thankful that he
never give her nothin' for her inwarls
as he did his other patients, for soma
thing made EN- all die mighty 81 ldan.'
Here the applause nal the sp'akei
sit down in great confusion. AM il
spite of a logical statement of the cas-
by Senator ToomhS, the doctor los
and Peter Bennett won.
IT,