Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1883-12-12
THE SPOOPENDYKES.
A Rumpus Raised About the Loss OF q
SwallOw-Tailed Coat.

taDle ana regarding the elect with hel
head very much on one side; "my
dear, what are you going to veal
when you make calls On new year's?'
"Clothes, suppose, returned Mr.
Spoopendyke, looking up from his pa
per. "Why, has the fashion changed
recently about wearing clothes?" and
MIR. Spoopendyke regarded his wife
with an anxious look of inquiry
"But you should wear your swallow,
tail coat by all MEANS" continued
Mrs. Spoodendyke. "All the gentle.
men wear swallOwtail coats on new
years day now.
"Well, if you think you are going to
strap me up in two tined coat and
start me around this town looking like
the head waiter of a dollar-and-a-half
summer resort, you're just us badly left
as a one armed man at a church sup
per | may be dOd gasted ass enough
to hop around to the various old hen
rooSts, wishing the contents happy
new year, but when you melt me into
a clothespin jacket it'll be when reason
no longer holds her seat in this dOd
gasted brain {" with which application
OF trite quotation Mr.. Spoopendyke
settled himself back and contemplated
his wife with lofty glance of supe-
riority.
"Of course, if you don't want to, "
replied Mrs. Spoopendyke, soothingly,
"there won't be any great objection
raised to your business suit. Besides,
now that | think of it, the moths got
into your dress coat, and | don't think
it is fit to be seen," and she put few
finishing touches on her table, and adj
mired it from another standpoint.
Lets see it, demanded Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke, springing from his chair and
making for his closet, closely followed
by his wife. "What's the matter with
it? What's the moth got to do with
it? Who put moths in it?' and Mr..
SpOopendyke rummaged around and
fired his clothing in all directions in
his vain search for the particular gar
ment. "Where is it," he howled, scat
tering his wardrobe broadcast. "Have
the meaSly moths eaten it all up?
Didn't they leave even button hole:
Show me my coat Bring out the
split in the tails If there's nothing
else left, give me one last fond glance
at the arm holes !" and Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke kicked his best trousers to the
ceiling, followed them with vest,
which he supplemented with pair of
boots. "Show me the great North
American moth fodder Fetch forth
unparalleled diet for the measly moth ,
Are we nation?" yelled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, jamming his thumb in the door
and hopping around the room with the
injured digit in his mouth. "Dod CAST
the door :" he howled, bringing it a
prodigious kick that bent his leg up
under him like a school girls.
"Did you hurt yourself, DEAR" asked
Mrs. Spoopendyke, dodging the flying
boots and clothing
"Does it look as if I'd hurt the door
any, demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke,
jamming his thumb in his armpit, and
bending double with the pain. "Does
that door give the impression of hay-
ing smashed its thumb anywhere?
Why didn't the moths eat the door?
Hoist 'em out and give 'em feed :"
And Mr.. Spoopendyke caught the Of
Tending wicket by the knobs and
tugged until he was out of breath.
"Perhaps it isn't so bad after ALL"
murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke, follow
ing him around the room in fruitlesS
effort to catch up with him.
'Pr'haps it amt p roared Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke, holding his thumb out at
arms length. "Pr'aps you've got some
scheme for making it worse Oh, 60
ahead Don't mind me Take the
thumb, friend, and do your worst !"
And Mr.. Spoopendyke dropped into
his chair and groaned with wrath.
"It's agood thing for this family that
| can control myself he howled. "If
l was like most men the lot on which
this house stands would be a good
place to build p' with which solemn
prophecy Mr.. Spoopendyke sprang to
his feet, kicked the chair into the OBJ
noxious closet and snorted aloud.
81 didn't mean your thumb, DEAR"
explained Mrs. Spoopendyke. 81 was
talking about the coat. May be the
coat isn't in such bad condition as |
supposed it was at first
"Think they left pocket any
where?' inquired Mr.. Spoopendyke,
with a grimace, half pain and half
anger. Or praps you thing that since
the moths eat the coat can wear the
moths Bring them out Hold
'em up while climb into the sleeves
That's your idea? That's the notion
that's been bothering you so long?"
81 don't know but what you can
wear the coat, anyway chirped Mrs.
Spoopendyke, looking up cheerfully,
and opening the door of her closet,
where SHE had carefully hung the coat
after sponging it that very day. "You
can look at it, anyhow" and she
brought it out, looking las new and
fresh as when he bought it,