davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22
NO. 40.
THE IDEAL AND THE REAL.

"My dear" said Mrs. Popperman to
her husband last evening, 81 was look
ing over a bundle of old letters to-day,
and found this one, which you wrote to
me before we were married, when you
were young and sentimental"
"What does it say?"
Mll read it,"
"Sweet idol of my lonely heart: If
thou wilt place thy hand in mine and
say, dear love, I'll be thy bride, we'll
fly away to some far realm-we'll fly to
sunny Italy, and meath soft, cerulean
skies we'll bask, and sing, and dream
of naught but love. Rich and costly
paintings by old masters shall adorn the
walls of the castle I'll give thee. Thy
bath shall be of milk. A box at the
opera shall be at thy command, and
royalty shall be thy daily visitor. Sweet
strains of music shall lull thee at even
tide, and warbling birds shall wake thee
from thy morning slumber. Dost thou
accept? Say yes, and fly, oh! fly with
me-"
"And 1 few," said Mrs. Popperman.
"But if l had been as fly as am now,
l wouldn't have flown"
"Why not dear?"
"Why not Have you done as you
promised in that letter? When We were
married did we fly to sunny Italy and
bask meath soft cerulean Skies or did
we 90 to Hoboken and spend two weeks
fishing for cells on the edge of the
wharf?
"Well, yes"
"And how about the pictures? You
know very well that every rich and
costly painting in this house is chrome
from the tea store"
"Well."
" Thy bath shall be of milk Do
bathe in milk, or is it like pulling
teeth every morning to get ten cents
out of you to buy milk for the baby"
"Kinder."
q Royalty shall be thy daily visitor
The only daily visitors l have are the
book agents and clam peddlers."
"'Taint my fault"
"'Sweet strains of music shall lull thee
at eventide.' The only chance have to
listen to sweet strains of music is when
you and go out walking at night and
follow a monkey and a hand-organ
around the block"
"Oh, l am so sleepy"
'I don't care if you are. Where are
the .warbling birds you promised me.
hear Mrs. Maginis' growing roosters
next door every morning. Perhaps they
are what you meant"
Well, never mind"
"But | will mind. Il was to have a
box at the opera Where is it? The
only time | go to an opera is when you
get bill-posters' tickets to a dime mu-
seum,"
"lt's too bad"
alt is really too bad. And then you
said we'd talk and dream of naught but
love. Since l married you we've talked
and dreamt of naught but rent. Good
night, sir" and Mrs. Popperman turned
out the gas and jumped into bed, leaving
Mr.. Popperman to bark his shins
against the bureau in trying to grope
to bed in the dark.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22
SHE GAMBLED.
A Fast Princess-The Exploits of a Faii
Russian of Noble Birth.

Within day or two, says Il Paris let
ter, society has been considerably inter
ested over the temperance of the
Princess Souwaroff. This handsome
Russian lady was during many seasons
the reignng stai at Nice and Monaco,
and was not the less remarkable on ac-
count of her frequent attempts to break
the bank She has not been seen at
either of those places or in Paris since
1873. She lived so fast here and
gambled so heavy at Monte Carlo that
the late Gar forbade her to leave the
Empire until she repaired her fortunes.
Whether she has done so or not is more
than one can tell, but she is certainly
back in Paris, where she has already
rented magnificent house, in which
she is going to have some fun before the
winter is over. The Princess, whose
maiden name was Basilewska, was enor-
mously wealthy when she married the
Prince Souwaroff, whose fortune was
very moderate. After few years OF
matrimony they agreed to disrgree, and
an amicable separation took place. The
Prince devoted himself to travelling and
the Princess went to Monaco in search
of excitement. She played with large
stakes, and her boldness, her coolness,
and her alternate heavy losses and win
nngs were the sensation at Monte Carlo.
Every evening, when the gambling-room
closed, she entertained a large party of
guests at supper in her villa on the
Promenade des Anglais. Some rather
racy anecdotes are related about her,
and her many decidedly eccentric asso-
ciates gave her somewhat scandalous
reputation.
One of these tales is that after one of
her suppers the Princess, taking off her
slipper, threw it across the room,
whereupon an actress OF the Palais
Royal Theatre, who was among the
guests, picked it up, filed it with cham
pagne wine, and emptied it at draught
to the health of the hostess. This so
pleased the Princess that she exclaimed, +,
as she embraced the actress: "To-
morrow, my dear, you shall have villa
of your own, next door to mine" This
promise was kept, and the actress has
now the slipper under glass case. A
very stylish young man, who got cleaned
out at rente-et-quarante at Monaco,
amused himself one evening by mark
ing game for the rich Russian lady,
who, being pleased with his appearance,
accepted his services, although he was
a stranger. That day she was heavy
winner, and when she left the table
offered this gentleman thousand-franc
note in so delicate manner that n re-
fusal was impossible. The next day the
same transaction was repeated, and
again and again during the whole week.
Then luck turned against the Princess,
and the strange gentleman placed his
purse at her disposal, who accepted his
offer, and was soon able TO pay off the
loan with interest. This gave rise to a
sort of partnership, and at the end OF
the season her cavaliere servante left
Monaco with a clear profit of 100000.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22
A CoMMERCIxE INTERVIEW.
"Good morning, SIR"

"Good morning, SIR"
These words were uttered in an en-
phatic style by a rather short man with
red face, large hat, gold-headed cane,
and shirt-front ornamented with a single
big diamond, as he entered the CONNER
cial Bulletin sanctum the other day,
having successfully passed the outposts
and guards against intruders.
"Good morning, sir" said the COM
mercial editor, stopping in the midst OF
an article on the cotton trade, and run
ming his eye hastily over his visitor.
81, sir" continued the latter, al !,
sir, am the head Of nail concern in
New York"
eyes, sir; lager or bottled?"
"What"
"Lager or imported; bottled or pale ?"
roared the editor, thinking his visitor
was deaf.
"What the deuce are you talking
about?" said the stranger, growing red
der i'm the face. 81 am sir, interested
in a nail house in New York"
Gale house! All, Isee, Englishman F;
we call 'em saloons, sir, in this country /:
mostly kept by Germans, though. Cool
weather for beer just now, sir"
"Beer! what tie devil do l care
about beer? / came to see you about
your price quotations. am nail man.
ufacturer."
can ale manufacturer! Beg your
pardon, but what do you charge bar
rel? OF course We should quote lager
by the barrel. Been pretty good hop
season this year, hasn't it?"
"Young man, if you think you can
play any of your jokes upon me you're
mistaken; and If you don't keep civil
tongue in your head there will be one
of the liveliest hop seasons right here
you ever saw ~
"Joke," roared the man OF merchan-
disc quotations; 'my dear sir, the joke
man is down stairs; this is serious
department. What is it you wish to
know about lager beer and ale, any
how%
"Confound your lager beer and ale
l came here about the price OF nails"
"Nails?"
eyes, N-A-I-L-S.-nails. told you
l was nail manufacturer.
There was a suppressed snicker from
the manufacturing editor on the other
side of the room; faint ha ha! ha
that came through the thin partition
that shut out the financial editor, as the
man of commercial quotations arose and
begged his visitor to be seated, and was
soon deep in the mysteries OF ten ant
twenty pennies.-[ Boston Commercial
| Bulletin.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22
TIL CHINESE CENSUS.
How the Population is Estimatcd-Cu-
rious and Startling statistics.

The Chinese government has a census
system; not by any means so exact as
ours, nor is it taken like ours, at certain
fixed periods. The direct object of their
census is more military than civil.
Each family is called upon to report, by
tablets provided for the purpose, the
number of its male members of the age
for military service, that is, from six
teen to sixty. From the number of
this class so reported the whole number
of the population may be quite nearly
approximated by assuming given
reasonable proportion of this class to
the whole, usually one-fifth. And being
thus enrolled rs liable to military duty,
it is not likely that the various families
would exceed the actual number in
their enrollments. BY their census of
1912, calculated on this basis, their
population amounted to Ala ,6S9, 1874.
A later census, taken in 1856, made
their population, in round numbers,
450, 900 900, an increase of about 3d.
100000, little over eight per cent in
fourteen years, which is less than one
fifth OF our ratio of increase. Those
European doubters have no data to
contradict all this.
Moreover, it is well-known that
China is II densely populated country.
They have cities of millions and many
towns of hundreds of thousands. The
land is filed with them, and even its
waters are swarming with boat popula-
ton. The city of Canton has $4,000
registered boats, upon which whole
families live as their home. Being thus
densely populated we have only to con-
slider what is the area over which this
population extends. Including its trib-
utary provinces, China has TIE largest
area Of contiguous territory of any nation
on the globe, except Russia, being
5 ,250 900 square miles. True, some of
this includes more sparsely populated
districts, as in the Tartar provinces.
Now, the larger number, that dis
credited by Europeans, viz: four hum
dred and fifty millions of population in
this territory, would be not quite eighty
six persons to the square mile; and the
lesser number, two hundred and fifty
million, would be but about ferty-eight
persons to the square mile. Compare
this with the density OF population in
Germany, two hundred TO the square
mile, or in France, one hundred and
eighty to the square mile, and even the
larger number of the Chinese population
does not reach one-half the density of
the European countries. And China is
quite as fertile and vastly older than
they. Had China the same population
TO the square mile that Germany has,
her number would exceed one thousand
million. But less than one-half of that
gives China the four hundred and fifty
million that Europe discredits, even
while admitting that China is densely
populated. Certainly, the population
of China is not ascertained with the
exactness of ours; but there is no
ground whatever for this European de-
NAL of so great population. On the
contrary, all the data go to confirm the
fact of that great number as embraced
within that ancient and populous en-
pire.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22
FOR TROUBLE-BoRROWERs.

There's many n trouble
Would burst like bubble,
And into the waters Of Lethe depart,
Did not we rehearse it,
And tenderly nurse it,
And give it IA permanent place in the heart.
There's many IL sorrow
Would vanish Tomorrow.
Were we but willing to furnish the wings;
So sadly intruding,
And quietly brooding.
1t matches out all sorts Of horrible things.
How welcome the seeming
OF looks that are beaming,
Whether ones wealthy or whether ones poor
Eyes bright as berry,
Cheeks red as a cherry,
The groan and the curse and the heartache car
Resolved to be merry,
All worry to ferry
Across the famed waters that bid us forget,
And no longer fearful,
But happy and cheerful,
We feel life has much that's worth living fol
vet.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22
CHINESE WAY OF PREPARING PINE.
APPLE.

The Chinese method is undoubtedly
the correct one fer preparing the pine
apple for food. The stalk is grasped in
the left hand, and an ordinary table
or large pocket knife is held in the
other. The top is at once dismissed
at the part where the fruit becomes
thick and fairly free from thorns. Now,
the eyes that so injure ones tongue, do
not on this fruit lie straight, SO that if
you commence at once in the top row
and trace line of eyes downward it is
just like descending winding stair
after the fashion Of u snaiPs shell. The
Chinese very neatly scoop out a topmost
one, and then following the line, cut a
wedge-shaped channel which is quite
free from the sign of thorn. Then
they begin another succession Of eyes,
and so on, till the task is soon finished.
The fruit, by the intercrossing OF the
various channels, now presents a dia-
mond-cut surface, which, however, is
not needed to render its appearance in
viting 1.-THE London Field.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22
ADVERSE TO A MISCELLANEOUS CROWD.

1t was in Chicago, of course, though
for that matter it might have been in
any city of Connecticut or Massachu-
sets.
"Will you go to the ball, this eve? ?"
he inquired.
"Not this eve," she replied, certain
ly in not the most gracious manner
possible; and then she added, "S'mother
eve, possibly"
"But Mrs. Stockyards Porcine GER
tainly sent you an invitation"
'Oh, yes, of course; but l felt
obliged to present my compliments and
regrets"
"Well, if you amt funny woman.
The soiree will be one OF the most
fashionable and select given on the west
side, this season."
"I suppose 80, but still l do not want
to CO."
"Private reason, eh?"
"Well, if you must know, all Of my
divorced husbands have been invited,
and don't wish to mix promiscuously
in such miscellaneous crowd"
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22
LEAF FROM LIFE.

She didn't like me when we met
But turned away and pouted,
Twas very cool, | own, to get
AT first a snub 81 final, vet
l clung to hope, and doubted.
Strange as it seems, u few short weeks
Confirmed my sanguine guesscs;
| came to understand her freaks.
And even dared TO kiss her cheeks
And stroke her golden tresses.
So time went on, and as we grew
To know each other better,
She bravely learned to kiss me too;
And when she strangely tried to woo,
Somehow / used to let her.
The privilege still yet is mine
With kiss her lips to smother;
Still round my neck she likes to twine
Her soft. white arms. I'll drop line,
| guess, and ask her mother.
This rhyme produces envy, strife
Within your reason, maybe;
So let me take leaf from life:
Her mother is my darling wife,
And she my blessed baby.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22

A New York musical writer claims to
have discovered that neither "rhe Star
Spangled Banner" nor "Hail Columbia
are original American tunes, but that
both were stolen from old German au-
thors. This discovery will nos discour-
age any American citizen. Where "The
Star-Spangled Banner" and "Hail
Columbia came from is a matter of
indifference so long as we know that
the tune to beautiful Snow" was not
stolen.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22

The modest editor OF the Cincinnati
Merchant Traveller says: Editorials
in newspaper Offices are usually the first
to go when there is rush of valuable
matter, and we experienced that kind Of
rush this week, hence the absence OF
our own work to give place to that Of
Others"
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22

There are fellows who can't remember
anything. Here's an advertisement
from the Dispatch: "Lost. If the
party who got my pocketbook at the
fire last night will please forward my
letters of introduction to my wife, l
shall esteem it a kindness" A man
who has been away from home SO long
that he has to get friend to write him
letters of introduction to his wife, has
no business to be fooling around fire.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22

If you are particularly anxious to
abuse man don't call him fool, he
might be annoyed; don't call him a
rascal, he might knock you down |;
quietly remark, with heavenly smile,
"Sir, you present fine large margin
for imprOy ement,
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22

1t is the sagacious remark of keen
observer of tourists, and he offers it to
the travelling public, that you can gen.
orally tell a newly-married couple at
the dinnlk table by the Indignation OF
the husband when fly alights on the
wifes butter.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22

1t is said to be almost impossible to
commit suicide by drowning in Phila-
delphia, because "Reddy" Shannon is
sure to be arouud to the rescue. He is
a hard-working stevedore, to whom is
credited an astonishing number of res
cues from drowning-no less than 165
men and boys owing their lives to him.
shannon began when he was ten years
oid, and has been at it ever since.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22

a painter was Dragging OF his won.
derful command of color to friend one
day. His friend did not seem to take
it quite all in. 'Why," exclaimed the
painter, edo you know there are but
three painters in the world, sir, who
understand color!' "And who are
they ?" at last asked the friend. "Why,
sir, l am one, and-and-and l forget
the names q the other twow
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22

All transient men who put up at ho-
tells are "traveling men," but all trav-
cling men are not commercial drum
mers." 1t is reason why a drummer
should call himself drummer.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.

nERSONS IN NEED OF LEGAL BLANKS,
such as Chattel Mortgages, Quit-Claims, and
Warranty Deeds, etc, would do we'll to make ap-
plication at this office, where they can be OBJ
tained at reasonable prices. Blanks printed TO
order on short notice.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22

There is bond OF sympathy between
Henry Irving and Sullivan, the prize
fighter, for they have both made "hits"
in New York.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22

BY arrangements with reliable land attorne,
in olympia and Washington, ID. c., my custo-
mers can have their land business attended to
the same as if personally present at either place
Parties wishing to purchase or locate Land
Scrip. would do well to consult me.
rsr-Ail latest Land Laws, Rules and Decisions
kept on file. Land Warrants bought and sold
Conyeyancing, taxes paid. purchases and sales
ly remitted. IL u
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22
A GREAT SUCCESS.

al am sorry for you, madam" said a
lawyer to an old woman who had en-
tered his office and asked for aims.
GLOW old are you?"
"Seventv five"
"Seventy-five," repeated the lawyer.
at seems that you are quite old enough
to make success of yourself. Now, if
you were young woman, l should not
hesitate i'm assisting you, but being as old
as you are, it is your own fault that you
do not drive around with a double
team"
"But how, sir, explain?"
sis it possible that you are still max
ing the fatal oversight. How old did
you say? Why, madam, you surprise
me. Get an ordinary grade of molasses,
dilute it with swamp water, and become
Il benefactor of the infantile race. Man
ufacture soothing syrup. Cost you moth
ing to make it, and you can call on the
editors in town and give them few
bottles for home use and they will pay
you in advertising. Orders will soon
come in and you can have an electrotype
OF venerable old woman, Mother So
and-So. You can have your hair parted
in the old motherly way-well, in short,
there's fortune for you. All, if l
could only exchange places. with you."
81 will do So" the old woman ex-
claimed, and she left and at once began
to manufacture the medicine. A few
weeks afterwards the newspapers were
filled with the success of Mother Gragle's
soothing syrup, but the lawyer did not
reflect that he was the cause of the
great success until he got up at night to
give his bowling son spoonful.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-22

A BIRDS EvIDENCE.-At recent trial
in London, parrots speech was ac-
cepted as evidence, and caused the dis
missal from the Baitish navy of an en-
gineer who had held his position for
fourteen years. The ship Simeon
brought from India no less than two
hundred parrots. One of these, belong
ing to an officer, was missing. A hunt
was instituted, and it was found in the
screw tunnel, where it was quite possi-
BILE for the accused engineer to hide it.
The question next arose whether it was
the special parrot about whose disap-
pearance the trouble had arisen. The
prosecution relied on the birds "conver-
sation" more than on any peculiarities
of its color or the shape Of its beak.
The engineer was found guilty and
cashiered. This is probably the first
case ever decided on such evidence.
The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1883-07-07
Unfortunate Wind Up,

Messrs. Taylor and Featherly with
the Misses Casey, McAulif and a
number of other ladies and gentle
men decided to spend the Fourth in
a quiet picnic, and selected for the
purpose a shady grove in Deer Lodge
valley about q miles from Butte.
Getting an early start they arrived at
the grounds in good time and spent
the day in sylvan pleasures, starting
on the return drive just as the shades
Of evening began to make the air I'M
comfortably cool. They arrived with
in the e%nvirons of Butte at II p. IN.
and were congratulating themselves
upon the success of their excursion
when, in the darkness ofthe night the
horses got off the road in the vicinity
of the Dexter mill. The wheels went
into a rut and the vehicle was upset.
The horses became frightened and
ran away, but the wagon tongue
breaking freed them from The wagon
and probably saved the party from
more serious injury. AS it was, Mr..
Taylor sustained a dislocation of the
and others were more or
less bruised The team was finally
found cached in an old placer claim;
the tongue patched up and the party
arrived at their homes at very early
hour yesterday morning.
The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1883-07-07
The Irish National FLAG,

The proposed Irish national flag
was exhibited at Cooper Institute re-
Gently, between the green, white and
orange of the National League and
the stars and stripes of America. It
is an amalgamation of the chief
features of the stars and stripes and
the old Irish standard. Upon a
quarteriag like that which bears the
stars in the American flag, of cloth of
gold, are a harp and wreath of sham
rocks, worked in green silk, and the
rest Of the banner il of alternate
stripes of white and green. The staff
was surmounted with a brazen. pike
head, and the general effect was very
handsome. The flag was presented
by the Ladies' Branch Of the League.