St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1883-02-10
never be Mrs. ou,mby. if she had to


On the evening of Mr. Quimby' calls,
half dozen young fellows sat together
in the private rooms of a well-known
re taurant. Alice Benton's cousin was
chairman.
Boys he said, ..we must all of
us make a raid upon Quimby to-mor-
row. You. Jack, will be the .deeply-in-
suited husband. and you, Tom, the hon
est capitalist whose money Q1imby has
borrowed and squandered. Dick. [
want you to play the undertaken from
whom the coffin was engaged. and Bill.
you can appear as the man assaulted by
puimby-the angry man. who has de-
termined to appeal to the laws of his
country for redress in the shape OF heavy
damages. The Office group will now re-.
hearse. - -. 49,
The conspirators agreed, and Charley
Elmore gave them their parts. and in
sisted on a full-dress rehearsal before
the close OF the session. The boys were
all of them keenly alive to the stu
alton, and, besides their ambition to
carry out the joke, felt that it was really
a serious matter, as tending to lead to
Jack Quimby's permanent swear of.
: sit is his last chance" said Elmore.
!" / tell you, boys, il we don't cure him
this time saltpeter won't save him, and
we shall never dance at Alice Benton's
wedding, so far as Jack Quimby is con-
cerned. = And the boys all swore they
would do their level best. y.
It was a bold plan, but among Mr..
Quimby's many failings they knew that
forgetfulness was one of the most
prominent, and that he seldom remem-
bered in the morning the occurrences
that took place over night, - is
When Jack Quimby awoke on the
second day of the year he had a vague
idea that he was on the threshold OF
spontaneous combustion. Never" he
groaned, were my coppers SO in
formally hot before, If ] do not join
some Temperance legion ere the day is
over, am a lost man. Despite these
reflections Mr.. Quimby dressed him
self, and after good round of stiff
cocktails, walked to his Office and fell
into the regular business groove.
Great Scott, Quimby!'' said one of
the clerks. .swhat head you We got on
you. Well, you must have been going
the pace, yesterday. say, old man,
you ought to get to bed just as soon as
YOU possibly can But Quimbv
scowled at the junior. and went on add
ing up figures as if he felt as fresh as the
morning, and even tried a popular air
in a subdued whistle, to Rove to the
crowd that the preceding day had been
one of undisturbed virtue.
''Quimby." said the senior partner of
the firm. Il want that invoice made out
by ten o clock
..All right, sir; am at work on it
now Ss+,'
..somebody for You. Mr.. Quimby,''
cried the messenger boy, bursting into
the private Office.
..ohow him in. said Quimby. A tall,
gaunt individual followed the boy. and
fixing a stony glance on Jack, took
vacant chair.
..of course you know who am, Mr..
Quimby?''
I'm blessed if I do replied Jack,
after a close scrutiny; never saw you
before in my life that / can remember"
my name,' said the visitor, sis
Eutropius Brown, and / have brought
you the coffin you ordered last evening.
If you show me to the deceased, Mr..
Qnimby, will arrange everything with
out further delay. l believe you re-
marked the corpse had already been
~ Quinby looked at his visitor, and
then darted to the window. Sure
enough, there stood a black wagon out
side the door. &. 81
..My dear SIR he said. ssthere is no
body dead in this house. This is BUSH
ness house, and You are quite mis-
taken about the address. / never or
dered a coffin from you. I've got no
one to bury, and-and it strikes me-
added Jack, growing desperate, '.that
you are altogether in error-in fact.
that you are not quite right in your
mind. !"
Il lis not your name John Quimby?'
1T is; IN Quimby; but, great heav-
ems. / have no use for an undertaken
Then Why said Brown, in an ex-!
cited voice, sswhy did you come last
night to my establishment and ring the
night bellp Why did you tell me to-
bring along, the first thing in the morn :!
lHS, Ine n0DDleSG caSkeG III JIG SHOps
Do you think this is fair treatment for
q decent undertaken, MIR. QuimbY? Do
you think
For the Lords sake, be quiet"
gasped Jack. Here are five dollars
for New Years present Say no more
about it. Take your casket back. and |
will call on you this afternoon and
square up the balance. Don't you see
that | was not myself when ] spoke to
you about that interme4t? Now, go
away like a good fellow" and Jack
pushed Mr.. Brown out, and sat down
again to his invoices with heavy
heart.
How full I must have BEEN" he
muttered. ITO order a coffin; why.
that's the worst ever did / wish /
hny1f wf1nf