Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-08-25
BORROWED WIT.

With the habitual drunkard, life
is reel.
Only colored individuals can be
black bald.
A glove fight should be INDUCED
in only by kids.
No bookkeeper should be shot
while at his post"
The best way to make a name is to
have an aim.
Reward for good works: Fame for
the author; money for the publisher.
There is a marked difference be-
tween getting up with the lark and
staying up to have one.
1t seems natural, doesn't it, that
when a mans business runs down he
winds it up?
A good way of observing Lent
would be to have the Goldfish aristoc-
racy eat each other.
Montana has ice twenty seven feet
thick. Chicago girls should go out
there to slide.
Cincinnati goes in for the drama
under the belief that Shakespeare's
plays were written by Bacon.
The novelist can never build him
self high enough in this world. He
always wants to add another story
Misfortunes never come singly.
The great flood and Mrs. Langtry
struck Cincinnati on the same day.
If the Nihilists should succeed in
exploding dynamite under the Gar,
he might diem he might not
1t is fame to have ones name go
down to posterity blown in a glass
bottle made for salad dressing.
Two Chicago men fought a duel
with swords. They were afraid to
use their fists for fear of hurting
each other.
Long trains will be fashionable
this summer. They will go over
the railroads to Cape May and At
lantic City.
The actor is frequently obliged to
bring a suit for his salary. The
tailor expects he will bring his salary
for suit.
One is u we'll limbed tramp, the
other a we'll trimmed lamp This is
the answer, but the conundrum isn't
made yet.
A young married lady of New
York ate so much terrapin that she
couldn't get home. He now calls
her his turtle dove.
There are beautiful Christmas
cards, birthday cards and Easter
cards, but none of them can beat
| four aces.
One of the sons of Wales is study
ing for the ministry. Some one
says his papa expects him to be-
come Prince minister.
We noticed very few newspaper
men at Vanderbilt's ball. Editorial
exclusiveness is carried to an absurd
| extent sometimes.
Hearts of Oak" has proved very
popular. Now, how would Lungs
of Pine" go on the lyric stage?
A woman who fell desperately in
love with man on sight and mar
| ried him, refers to him as her lord
and mashed her
Women do not marry for love, OF
money, or dry goods. They marry
in the hope that they may have
spring ousecleaning to do.
Hamlet" will be the great feature
at Cincinnati'a dramatic festival. The
porkers will all attend in honor OF
the first syllable.
Col. Delaney Kane, the coach
driver, is spoken of as a leading citizen
of New York When he is not lead
ing horses he leads the german.
Fifteen widows live on 100 rods OF
a Montpelier, VT, street. The I'M
married man of the place are de-
handing that the locality be tagged
"Dwo vos schoost enough, budt
dree was too blendty," remarked
Hans, when his girl asked him to
take her mother along with him to
the dance.
The Norristown Herald contradicts
Il. Franklin's proverb, HE that
takes a wife takes a care" by saying,
'Not if he takes care when he takes
her."
Most of the wells in Wisconsin are
drive wells, and when a hired girl
wants to lose the teaspoons she has
to go down and throw 'em in the
creek
People who don't understand why
parrots invariably 80 vicious in their
discourse, must be stupid. What
would you expect from bird but
fowl talk?
Chinese gods are to come in free.
Joss SO! Wash up your dear little
double headed, seven-legged, nine
tailed Jumjons and ship 'em over
with the tea.
If you really dislike man it is
we'll to remember that nothing will
mad him more than to catch him
near hand organ and go up and
offer him some coppers.
The Chicago critics who praised
the astonishing agility displayed by
a ballet dancer didn't know that she
had accidentally dressed hornet
into her clothes.
A New York woman complained to
the police, the other day, that her
husband tried to set her On fire.
This is the meanest way man can
take IN mako IL warm for his wifo