Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1883-04-07
Seltrt STORY.
Il Soft Soap Racket.

'omooosy oso, uuJ nc klckS l'k0
steer waen it is on hun. I asked this
morning If It wouldn't be a good joke
to put some soft soap on the front
door step, so the letter. carrier would
slip up and spill hssslf, and pa said it
would be elegant. Pa is D. .mocrat
and he thinks that any hlrg that will
make it unpleasant tor Republican
Office holders is legitimate, and he en-
couraged me to i.sralyzes the letter.
carrier. The letter carrier is as old
man al pa, and l didn't want to
humiiiato him, but just wanted pa to
live his consent, so he couldn't kick
If he got caught in his own trap
You see2 Well, this NOR ming the min
lister and two deacons called on pa to
have a talk with him about his actions
In church on two or three occasions,
and they had q pretty hot time in the
back parlor, and finally they settled
1T, and we're going to sing hymn
when Pa handed them a little hymn
book, and the minister opened it, and
turned pale and said, whats this P
and they looked at it, and 1t was
book of Hoyle's games instead Of .
hymn-book. Wasn't the minister
mad He had started to read and he
quit after he had read two lines where
1t said, In a game of four.handed
euchre never trump your partners
ace, but rely on the ace to take the
trick on suit Pa was trying to sx-
plain how the book came to be there,
when the mil ister and dsacons start
ed out and then / poured the two
quart tin pail, full of soft soap on the
front step. 1t was thin white soap.
just the color of the step, and when /
got it cad l went down in the ase-
ment. The visitors came oui and pa
was trying to explain about Hoyls,
when one of the deac. ma stepped into
t. soap, AM bis feet few up and hs
struck on hia pants and slid down the
steps. The minister said, great heav-
ehs, deacon, ais you hurtY Let me
Assist ysu, and he took two quick
s els, aud you have seen ths.e fellows
In nigher show that kick each other
head over heels and fall on their ears,
and stand on their he Ids and turn
around like a top. The ministers
feet slil ped AID the next Issu hs
was aiaudinB on his head in Lis hat.
and h's legs we're sort of wilt. d and
be fell over on his stomach. You ialk
OF spreading tn gospel in heatLea
lal ds. 1t Is no,h.ng to the way you
can spread it with two quarts Of soft
soap The minister didn't look pioua
bit when he was trying to catch the
railing. He looked as though he
wanted to mnrder every man on the
earth, but it may be he WAS tired.
We'll, pa WAS passlyzed, and he aud
the other deacon rushed oat to pick
up the minieter and the fret old man,
and when they struck the STEP they
went klting. Pas feet somahow slip
ped backwards, and 10 turned SOM.
erasult and struck full length ON his
back, and one heel was across the
mi, ister's neck, and he sid down the
steps, and the other deacon fell all
over the other three, and pa swore at
them, and it y az the worst looking lot
OF pious people l ever saw. They all
seemed mad at each other. The hir-
ed girl told ma there was three trsmps
out ON the sidewalk fighting pa, and
ma she took the broom and started to
help pa, and tried to stop ma,
cause her constitution is not very
strong and | didn't want her TO do
any flying trapeze business, but l
couldn't stop her, and she went ont
with the broom and towel tied
around her head. Well, l don't
know where ma did strike, but when
she came in she said she had pslpita.
tion of the heart, but that was not
the place whore she Put the arnica.
0, but she did 60 through the air
like a bullet through cheese, and
when she went down the steps a.
humpity-bunp, I felt sorry for ma.
The minister had got so he could set
up on the sidewalk, when ma came
sliding down, and one of the heels Of
her CATERS hit the minister in the
hair and the other foot went right
through between his arms and bis
side, and the broom liked to have
pushed his teeth dowa his throat.
But he wasn't mad at ma. As soon