Morning journal and courier., 1883-10-05
10 w.

The Mississippi river is very low, and can not leave it's bed.-Esw Orleans Picayune. The paradox of psradoxes is that in the marriage ceremony the woman doesn't get in any more talk than the men.-Life. A pocEetbook containing ten cents was found on the doorstep of lawyers ofdce in MeadvilIe. The loser evidently had not been in the oface.-Ol City Blizzard. 4 Michigan man who lost both legs iu 8 sawmil now sits round and tells about the terrible battles of the late war That's the sawed of man be is.-Roston Post. For genuine art America points proudly to her WAX and wood figures that ofhciate as ''dummies" in front Of clothing stores Half the time you can't tell the figures from some person you don't know.-Chicago News. ''What are you laughing at, my dear p asked Mrs. Jones of her husband who was chuckling over his morning paper. Some thing saw here," he replied, 'but it's hard ly funny enough for two."-Wisconsn State Journal.
 'sWife, why do you open the window? We only have ten degrees of heat in the room. !" ''Yes, that's go; and in the open air it's four degrees. Now, I'll let those in, and then it will be fourteen and quite comfortable here. :" -Etchings.
 When Mir. Bluhndar, who endorses the old ticket, read that f'Mr. CarlisIe is to make fourteen speeches for the Democrats" he remarked with air of surprise, Why, thought the author of Shorter Sartorious was dead. ."-Rorristown Herald.
 physician says: 'In buying clothing care should be taken to investigate the hydrosco- picity of the cloth" We al@sys do; but ss singular as it may appear many persons buy a coat and never give thought ss to Its hy- droscopicity. This is great nistake.-Nor- ristown Herald.
 Vennor predicts that October will be fol lowed by cold weather. This will be great disappointment to gardeners who contenn- plated aettinG out cabbage plants in Decem Der and planting potatoes in January. There have been quite enough startling surprises this year.-Norrissown Herald.
 MT. Ruskin says: ''What was beautiful yesterday is beautiful to day." There are exceptions, MT. Ruskln. A young man who took his girl to the opera one night recently thought she was the p5rsonideation of beau ty. Next day he made an sarly call and found her attired in 8 faded calico dress, di- lHpidsted slippers, and her own hair, and well.-Norristown Herald.
 THE SUMMER VACATION.
 The minister went to the rnouataiua
 His summer vacation to pass,
 Where health's ins1haustible fountains
 Fer How for the wel-to-do class.
 Where Nature, in all her moods plsases,
 Fair scenes ever greeting the gaze;
 Where laden with health are the breezes,
 And icy gtIds the bright sunsmer days.
 The season he passed there with plessure'
 New viRor he felt in his frame;
 While toyouslJ spending his leisure
 In fishing and gunRing for game
 One night he had eaten cucum mbers
 And long to WOO Morpheus he tried;
 At length, when hs sank to his slumbers,
 The minister dreamed that he died.
 And he went straight up to heaven,
 Where angels tho gESes ever guard,
 Tke mansion fer which he had striven,
 At lass was ts bs his reward;
 But fancy his sad situation
 Tho portals this pacard did show:-
 'HeaVen's closed for the summer vacation,
 All callers must go down below"
 -Somervil!e Journal