The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1883-01-20
ITEMS.

There is one man in New Hampshire so
stalwart that he won't even bolt his door.
1t is easier to find a publisher for a book
of poems than to wear your hat backwards
for three minutes.
When a clock is accused of being behind
time there is something wrong on the face
of it.
The man who lost the election hat now
cuts the winner as though the latter had
dedicated a book of poems to him.
If the present obscuring of the Republican
party is caused by rings it may be consid-
cred an %annuIar eclipse.
Mistress Were you baptized, Keziah,
when you were named 2" Maid-"Law,
ma'am, we don't baptize in our church,
Grabbing at fortune is very much like
grabbing at a strange cat the cat doesn't
always seem to be where she was when you
started with your grabbing.
The Philadelphia Telegraph wants to
know why old Solomon made the remark
about there being nothing new under the
sun. Probably he took a Philadelphia paper.
Against the Grain-Widow Ito chemist
who was weighing a grain of calomel in
dispensing a prescription for her sick chilly
-" Man. We medina be sac s~chrimpy wit
tbs for a puir fatherless BARN %
Queer about a chiId's memorN.- fne,f,
forget a lesson in. speaks of II 81 VIII
-ruor and remember
S n and be sure to repeat at some mop
perfume time something that ought to
emsin a dead secret.
Rallying-Doctor (sotto voce to his COL
leagUe)-" We must reduce the fever and
abate the thirst - Patient (who had over
heard)-"If you'll rodooce the fever, gentle
men-I1l uld 'take-to abate the thirst my
shelf -
King Louis of Bavaria has some very
extra ordinary peculiarities. He likes to live
in his own odd fashion, and despises the
conventionslities of society. At the recent
Bayreuth representation of " Parsifal " the
disappointed the curious public by remaining
away. He has however. arranged to have
Wagner's opera performed this month at the
Munich Opera House, where he is himself
to constitute the entire audience.
An auction sale of a cabinet of old fans,
which Mr.. Robert Walker, of Ellington,
Berke, has been thirty years in collecting.
was begun on June 7 in London. The col
lection was first put up in one lot, at a re-
serve price of $4,000; but as there were
no offers the fans were disposed of in detail,
and the first days sale realized $3.50;
the highest price paid for any one fan
being ninety dollars.
Two young women of Kentucky and
Ohio, respectively, have received a patent
for a pan to be sunk in an ironing-board,
for the reception of the fat-iron when not
in use. The fracture of joints, buns, and
other casualties caused by flat-iIons will be
known no more. This device is a. simple
iron meld, one inch deep, eight inches long
and five wide. to be fitted to the board, and
yet for this patent the young women were
offered So 1000 the d,y after receiving their
papers.
Mrs. Mary A. LivermOre, in an address at
the meeting of the Boston Society of Uni
versalists, deprecates the sending away to
foreign missions of the jealous and accom-
plished who are so much needed in home
missions. Women are essential in the con-
fict against i%ntemperance and vice, and in
carrying forward such works as the Peace
Movement and the Associated Charities.
10 resist with success the frigidity of
old age one must combine the body, the
mind and the heart to keep these in
parallel vigor one must exercise, study, and
love.
The club room of the City of London
Chess Club, held at Moufflet's Hotel, in
London, was crowded on the 9th of Sep
tember last to witness the annual perform
ance of Mr.. Blackburne, the "blindfold
chess player" who had undertaken to play
eight games simultaneously with as many
members of the club. The team opposed
to him was the strongest he has yet played
in London, none of them being under what
is technically called 'pawn-and-two strength
Mr. Blackburne was not literally blind
folded, but he sat at the far end of the room
with his back toward the players, so that he
could not possibly see the boards or the
men, and he had to depend for the conduct
of the games entirely on his memory. In
the result two games were drawn and Mr..
Blackburne won six.