Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1883-02-28
SHE WANTED A DIVORCE.
A Story of a Woman Whose
Husband Was a "Jiner."

A Story of Woman Whose
Husband Was a "Jiner."
and well dressed, had black hair rather
thin and tinged with gray, and eyes in
which cleaned the fires of a determi-
nation not to be easily baked. Sac
walked into we'll known lawyers
Office in Ronney's block, and requested
a private interview, and having obtain
ed it, and satisfied herself that the law
students were not listening at the key
hole. said slowly, solemnly and inn
pressively, al want a divorce.
What for? | supposed ycu had
one of the best of husbands" said the
lawyer.
II s'pose that's what everybody
thinks, but if they knew what I've
suffered in ten years they'e wonder |
had not scalded him long ago. l ought
to, but for the sake of the young ones
I've borne it and said nothing. I've
told him, though, what he might de-
pend on, and now the times come /
won't stand it, young ones or no young
ones. I'll have divorce, and if the
neighbors want to blab themselves
hoarse about it they may, for | won't
stand it another day."
But what's the matter? Don't your
husband provide for you? Isn't he
true to you? Don't he treat you
kindly? pursued the lawyer.
1--WE get vituals enough, and | don't
know but he's as true and kind as men
in general and he never knocked one
of US down. | wish he had, then I'd
get him into jail and know where he
was at nights" retorted the woman.
"Then what's your complaint against
him p
"Well, ifyou must know, he's one
of them plaguey jiners."
"a what"
"a jiner. One of them pesky fools
that's always jining something. There
can't nothing come along that's dark
and sly and hidden, but he'll jine it. If
anybody should get up q society to
burn his house down, he'd jine it as
soon as he could git in, an if be had to
pay to get il. he'd go in all the sudden
er We hadn't been married more'n
two months before he jined the Know
Nothins We lived on farm then,
and every Saturday night he'd come
tearin' in before supper, and grab fist
full of nut cakes and go off gnawing
'em, and that's the last I'd see of him
till mornin.' And every other night
he'd roll and tumble in his sleep. and
boiler, Put none but Americans on
guard, George Washington !! and rainy
days he'd go out in the corn-barn and
jab at picture Of the pope with an old
bayonet that was there. ought to
put my foot down then; but he fooled
me so with his lies about the pope's
coming to make all the Yankee girls
marry Irishmen, and eat up all the
babies that weren't born with crosses
on their foreheads, that let him go on
and kinder encourage him in it. Then
know what them be, bat don't, 'cept
they think they're the same kind of
critters that built Solomon's temple
and took care Of his concubines and
oil the darned nonsense and CAB about
worshipful masters, and squares and
compasses and sich like that we had in
the house for the next six months, you
never see the beat And he's never
outgrown it nuther What do you
think of a man, squire, that'll dress
himself in white apron, bout big
enuf for monkeys bib, and go march
ing up and down making motions and
talking the foolishest lingo Mt picture
of George Washington in green jack
ct and truss on his stomach I Amt
he loonytick Well, that's my Sam,
aud I've stood il long as Im going to.
1.-THE next lug the fool made was
into the Odd Fellows. | made it warm
for him when he came home and told
me he'd jined them but he kinder
pac6ed me by telling that they had
sort Of branch show that took women,
and he'd get me in ma soon as nc found
out how to do il. Well, one night he
come home and said I'd been proposed
and somebody had black-balled me.
Did it hisself, of course. Didn't want
me around knowing TO his gongs on
OF course he didn't, and told him so.
"Then he jined the sons of Malta.
Didn't say nothing to me about it, but
sneaked off one night pretending he'd
got to set up with q sick Odd Feller;
and I'd never found il out only be
come home looking like man that had
been through thrashing machine, and
| wouldn't do thing for him till he
owned up. And so its gone from bad
to wus, and from wus TO wusser, jinin'
this, that and t'other, till he's wor-
SHIPPED Minister OF the Masons, and
Goodness of Hope Of tho Odd Fellers,
and Sword-swaller Of the Fnnigans,
and Virgin Cereus Of the Grange, and
Grand Mogul of the Sons OF Incidence,
end Twodgcd Tomahawk of the
United Order of Black Men, and the
Tale-bearer OF the Merciful Mannlkins,
and Skipper Of tho Guide Of Catherine
Columbus, and Big Wizard OF the
Arabian Knights, and Pledgc.passer
of the Reform Club, and Chief
Bugler of the Irish Machinists, and
Purse-keeper of the Order ofthe Ca
madam Conscience, and Doublc.barrel
Dictator Of the Knights OF the Brass
Circles, ahd Standard Bearer of the
Royal Archangles, and Sublime Porte
Of the Onion League, and Chamber
maid of the Celestial Chorubs, and
Puissand Potentatc Of the PcterGcd
Pigstickers, aud the Lord onlv knows