Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1883-11-16
Tribune TWINKLEs.


Tribune TWINKLE4.
The khedve of Egypt ohews American spruce
aum the dear old dudish darling.
An Ohio postmistress resigned her Office to get
married. Nothing but death or matrimony can
boost an Ohioan out of Office.
BOB INaERso1L's middle name islGreen, and .
contemporary ventures the opinion that this
accounts for his belief that he never will burn.
IT now transpires that Moses only got $40 for
the body of bis fat bride. She would have
brought more tkau that at retail by the pound.
MATTHEW ARNOLD is surprised to learn that
the Americans eat with their forks. He shovels
his provender into his facial chasm with q knife.
JOAQUIN MILLER calls his stepfather pap"
This is vulgar and coarse. He should address
him bv the beautiful and sacred title of dad. -
A COWBOY named William G. Butter has taken
to writing poetry. There are no depths of
fendish malignity too deep for these wild citi-
zens to explore.
"TooLE the comedian, seldom wears q suit OF
clothes out. "-Exchange. This can't be true.
He surely doesn't CAD about in his shirt caudle
appendage, does he?
BEER was made in Egypt 400 years B. c., but
those old foreigners never fully realized the
pleasure of drinking it. The schooner wasn't
invented until 1923.
A DEs MONIES jury gives Mrs. beems
$25,OoO verdict against the Rock Island road for
killing her husband. How her female neigh'
bors must envy her!
A DYING Minneapolis woman exclaimed:
farewell; go to MY reward in heaven.' The
st, Paul papers will look upon this as piece
of extraordinary cheek.
"PREs1DENr ARTHUR is getting thin, an ex-
change asserts. He is perhaps fretting himself
to death over the soul-chiling fact that the fish,
ing streams will soon be frozen over.
We are told that the king of Sweden gets up
before breakfast. The average American cltl-
zen gets sup before breakfast also, but he has to
trot down to the corner saloon after it.
AHumAN skull, measuring 40 inches around
the forehead, has been unearthed near King
wood. Va. 1t appears, then, that there we're
editors in that locality in i've olden day."
A1aERNoN SwMBURNE, the lascivious poet, is
coming over here next spring, and Ella Wheeler
ia making ovor her last summers silk and cul-
tivatine winning smile in fond anticipation
of the visit.
ConnEcr1our man ohoked and beat his
wife because all their children were girls. The
women of the country may just as we'll learn
now "A at any time that they can't run things
Just as they please.
MATTHEW ARNOLD admits that be is not favor
.hlv impressed with American newspapers. In
Justice t, Mr. Arnold it should be stated that he
has not vet seen Farmer Wallace's boom edition
of the Bismarck Herald.
ArAcEr1ous exchange remarks: "A New YORK
fire insurance president has just lost q country
seat valued at $75, 900, and he hadn't cent Of
insurance. He was probably looking around
for a reliable company"
8 A JERSEY C1rY barkeeper dropped to the floor
in copvulsions and died while dealing out
LIQUOR. A barkeeper who handles Jersey light
ming should not hold the bottle beneath his nose
when he draws the cork.
A BIOLOGICAL garden is to be established in
Washington. It is thought that if snakes,
lizards and other hideous reptiles are placed on
free exhibition the amusement seeking con-
ores,men will not take the trouble to manufac-
tnre such collections of their own before the
gilded bars.
PHILADELPHIA CALL: The last steamer from
Japan landed at San Francisco several Germans
of high degree, among them the Duke Johann
Albrecht of Mecklenburg- Schwerin, grandson
of the German emperor. He is jolly youth OF
TWENTY-FIVE, puts on no airs, and has such gen :
tlemanly intellectual look that he might easily
he mistaken for an editor were it not for the
fact that he occasionally drinks beer.
The aesthetic east has its s'etiquette of the
FAM s'etiquette of the handkerchief" and
various other etiquettes too numerous to men
tion, but in this line the St. Paul girl is entitled
to the prize banner. The gushing girls of that
sanity city have adopted the ''etiquette of the
bustle,' and it is thus described:
Wearing very small bustle-there's no cranky
stvle about this bundle of blooming beauty.
Wearing the hustle lop sided-my heart is all
out of place. =.
Wearing the hustle pretty we'll up in the
southern suburbs of the back-Im high-toned
darling, an don't you forgit it
Wearing the hustle low down in the northern
suburbs- That is, low down-my spirits are
dropping.
Olasping the hustle in both hands and wear
ing sad expression-my heart is breaking.
Wagging the hustle as spike-tai dog wags
the locality where his tail once resided fear
you are airt.
Looking around at the hustle with q fond ex-
pression-how do you like my style?
Bobbing the hustle up and down vigorously
I hate yon.
There are q number more of these signals but
when the young lady had given this much OF
=. :. .S.l~ ,-;tt, ;l1nsfrakiona the rannrter WA