The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-07-28

don't you open anything until ! get il
all out" and Mrs. Spoopendyke handed
him long roll of something done up
in coarse brown paper,
GLOW much more of this is there &c
get out?" demanded Mr.. Spoopendykc,
smiling at the paper and detecting DO.
logna sausage, thing he detcSted.
'What is this, anyway, Il club to keep
the rest of the lunch in order? Is this
thing the police force of this lunch?
Fetch forth the law abiding elements il
you've got any. never mind the cNccu-
/ tive Of this feast, produce the laboring
faction, the taN-paying end Of the bust
ness
Heres some cheese murmured
Mrs, Spoopondykc, "anda pie and some
/ smoked beef and a herring, and
"Haycn't We some salt somcwhcrc2'
Kissed Mr. Spoopendyke, planting the
bologna on end in the center of the pie
CLOWN | to qucnch my thirst after
eating all this truck, unless | have salt?
Who're the mustard that goes with
these mercies?' and Mr.. Spoopcndvke
dove into the package of beef and scat
tered the contents over his wife's lap.
81 II bet the bologna can whip the cheese
in four rounds,' he yelled, hauling the
offending sausage out of the pie and iab-
bling it through the cheese. "Hurray!
Now, wei! sponge him off with the her
ring for the next round,n and Mr..
SpoopcndyHe seized fish by the tail
and slammed it into the basket.
"Don't" pleaded Mrs. Spoopcndyke,
looking heIplessly on. Il like those
things if YOU don't.
Cant We let the lunch have little
fun?" squealed Mr.. Spoopendykc, ham,
mering ut the cheese with the sausage.
"Of course YOU like these things!
They're right in your line. All you
want is strike and a step ladder to be
IA salt mine. Where my lunch? Bring
on the delicaces calculated to supply
the waste tissues of Spoopendyken and
the worthy gentleman drove the saul
sage clear through the pie and impaled
the herring on the other end.
Here's Charlotte, and Il" COM
menced Mrs. Spoopendyke,
Gland me the bIushing Charlotte"
howled Mr., Spoopcndyke, who had fixed
his mind on cold chicken. and saw no
realization of his antcipations. "ShSw
me the Charlotte just budding into
womanhood, and she shall have the pie.
Give mc-hey' What's that?'
This is can of beansn' exclaimed !
Mrs. Spoopcndyke, Frightening little.
you know YOU always liked beans"
Lets have emf growled Mr.. |
Spoopendyke, reaching for them. What
have you got to open EN- with?'
"lm afraid left the can opener
home" whispered Mrs. Spoopendyke,
rummaging through the basket
GLOW d'yepropo to open EN- them"
roared Mr.. Spoopendyke, setting his
teeth and breathing hard. "Show me
the spring that busts this cover off!
Guide me to the combination of this
stem winding can of beans, Maybe
this Ill do it!' and Mr.. Spoopendyke
again grabbed the sausage and wentfor
the can. "How'm getting on?" he
yelled, rs the bologna flew in all direc-
tons. Think you begin to smell those
beans any more plainly than you did?
Wa-h-h!' he shrieked, as huge chunk
of the pork broke off short and landed
in his ear. This dod gasted hog don't
know who he's foolng with! Let mo
you to Spoopcndykcr' and he
ground the sausage flat against the can
and dropped the debris on the floor.
81 don't know what we're going to
dor murmured Mrs. Spoopcndyke in
great distress.
"Now watch the triumph of mind ov.
n beansr' howled Mr.. Spoopendyke. +
'pening the window and placing the
an on the sill. "Thc reward of gent a
Isl" he roared. as he brought the win. !
low down on the can.
Mrs. Spoopendyke lodged just in o
ime, and her unfortunate spouse caught Z
he bean part of the feast fairly in
ront, and was covered from his eye
rows to his ankle.
"That's what We wanted?" he gasped,
$ the full extent of the calamity dawn
d on him. That's what We been try
~ to get me to do? bod CAST the
leasly beans' and Mr. Spoopendyke Z
ladc for the smoking-car, and was Sc o
o more till dark. o
II don't care" soliloquized Mrs. I,
poopcnd yke, assuring herself that the g,
harlottc had not been injured. "Hc I
hight have waited moment, and he
'ould have had some cold chicken. =
ut, of course, if he has made lunch 3
n beans, he won't care for anything c!
lse.h And with this consolatory re- :,
ection Mrs. Spoopendyke ate the n
hickeu and Charlotte in alternate bites,
nd composed herself for = comfortable ~
ap. .Stanley Huntlcy. =