The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-05-01
spoopendyke Stops Smoking.

III
"My DEAR" said Spoopendyke rump-
ling his hair around over his head aud |
gszing at himself in the glass. "my dear,
do-you know think l smoke too much !?
1t doesn't agree with me at ALL"
"Just what ! have always though ]"
chimed Mrs. Spoopendyke, sand beside,
it makes the room smell so. You know
this room"
I'm. not talking about the room" re-
torted Mr.. Spoopendyke with snort.
"Pm not aware that it affects the health
of the room, I'm talking about my
health this trip, and think III break of
short. You don't catch me smoking any
more" and Mr.. Spoopendyke yawned
and stretched himself, and pumped down
in, his easy chair and glaIed out OF the
window at the rsin.
"How are you going to break of f''
inquired Mrs. Spoopendvke drawing up
her sewing-cbair and gazing up into her
husbands face admifingly. Il suppose
the hest way is not to think OF it at all. :"
"The best way is for you 10 cit there
ard cackle about it!" growled Mr.
Spoopendyke. "If anything will dis
tract my attention from it that will
Cont We think of something else to talk
about? Don't We know some subjects
that don't smell like tobacco planta-
tion p
"Certainly," cooed Mrs. Spoopendyke
rather nonplussed. "We might talk
about the rain. suppose this is really
the equinox, How long will it last,
dear 2''
"Gast the equinox!' sputtered Mr..
Spoopendyke. Don't ye know that
when man quits smoking 1t depresses
him2 What dye want to talk about
depressing livingston Now's the time
TO make me cheerful II ye don't know
any cheerful things, keep quiet"
"Of course" assented Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, "you want subjects that will draw
your mind away from the habit of smo-
king like you used to. Won't it he nice
when the long winter evenings come, land
the fire is lighted, and you have your
slippers and paper"
That's just the time I want cigar !"
roared Mr.. Spoopendyke bounding
around in his chair and scowling at his
wife "Ain't ye got sense enough to
shingle your tongue for minute2 The
way you're Keeping it up you'll drive me
back to my habit in less'n an hour," he
continued solemnly, 'and then my blood
will be on your head" -
"Tm glad you're going to stay q,
home to day." continued Mrs Spoopen.
dyke soothingly You'd be sure to
catch cold II you went out; and by and
bye we'll have piping hot dinner"
That's n' ripped Mr.. Spoopendyke.
You've driven me to it instead Of keep.
ing me from It. You know how it's
done! All you need now is lightning.
rod and a dish of milk toast to be an
inc briate's home! Where's that cigar ]
left here on the mantel2 Gimme my
death warrart Show me my imported
doom! Drag forth my miniature coffin =
and Mr.. Spoopendyke swep. the con-
tents of the shelf on the floor and howl
ed dismally.'
"Isp't that it ?" asked Mrs. Spoopen
dyke pointing 10 a small pile of snuff on
the chair In which Mr.. Spoopendyke
had been sitting "That looks like it "
"Wah" yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke,
graspiDg his hat and making for the
door. "Another time l swear off you
go into the country, you hear3" and
Mr.. Spoopendyke dashed out OF the
house and sieered Tor the nearest tohac-
CO shop.
II don't care" muttered Mrs Spoop-
endyke; when he swea's of "Tm will
ling to leave, and in the meantime sup
pose he'll be healthier without bis pipe,
so I'll hang it upon the wall where he'll
never think of looking for it," and hav-
ing consigned the tobacco to the flames
Mrs. Spoopendyke gathered her sewing
material around her and double -clinched
an old resolution never to lose her tenn
per, no matter what happened.-Brook
lUn Edgfe.