The Russellville Democrat. [volume] (Russellville, Ark.) 1875-1898, 1883-03-01
How alen are Tortured.

A correspondent who is travelling in
Germany gives description of the diff
ferent uniforms and suits of clothes
owned by the Emperor OF Germany, and
winds up with the remark: Numerous
as the contents of his wardrobe are and
have been, il has never held dressing
gown" We do not know as it would
be proper to congratulate an Emperor,
but we cannot help remarking that
Kaiser Wilhelm is sound in never own
ing dressing-gown. There is no one
thing in the line OF clothing that is SO
uncomfortable as a dressing gown and
yet they are all made for comfort, an
in nine cases in ten they are present
from loving friends who think they have
done noble act. They have worked
flowers or figures in it. and have made
ii beautiful ornament to hang on q
chair, but not knowing the animal that
is to wear it, they have got it about as
comfortable as possible, and the martyr
who wears one because twas given him
by q loved friend, wears it, and groans
and sneezes and takes cold, and wishes
to Heaven the friend had given him q
dog, flannel undershirt, or anything
on earth but a dressing gown. There
are only seventeen persons in the United
States who habitually wear dressing
gowns, and they do it for fear of offend
ing the donor If they fail to wear it.
And yet every home in this country
but six have from one to four dressing
gowns hung up in closets, furnishing
sustenance to moths. The reason that
dressing gowns are unpopular with the
males are several In the first place
novelists and playwriters always get
the idiotic, simpcring la-de-dah, hair
parted-in-the- middle Alex into dress
ing-gown, and he looks so soft that you
feel as though you could run cat tail
into him anywhere, and that makes him
unpopular Then when a woman sets
out to provide a dressing-gown for a
dear friend, she picks out some pattern
of colored goods with figure as big as
palm-leaf fan, and when it is made up
it makes man look as though he had
blown off billboard with wet circus
poster. They cause it to be made up so
that it is in mans way more than an
ulster overcoat would be. 1t is pad
ded where the man is too warm, and
where he is liable to take cold there is
nothing to protect him. The lappels
are thrown back so that he presents an
open shirt front from his collar to the
Wristbands of his pants. 1t is true the
lappels of the gown are of velvet, and
may be they are embroidered, but if they
lay back over his shoulders they cannot
keep his chest warm, as it should be
kept, when the martyr has taken
off his vest and shirt collar, to have
quiet evening at home. The dressing
gown which man might wear in the
dark. he would not be seen wearing out
to the front step after a paper for ten
dollars, because he would look like the
remnant of masquerade ball. The
tail is invariably eighteen inches too
long, and padded, so when he sits down
he feels as though he was sitting on q
nest of kittens. The sleeves are invari-
ably too long, so he has to roll them
up, and then he feels as though he was
handcuffed. The collar comes up to the
back of his head and files his ears, the
shoulder gets around under the arm,
and after wearing the comfortable
garment for an evening, and getting so
nervous that he almost flies, and lying
few times when asked how he likes
his dressing gown, he lays it away and
wears a business sack coat forever aft
er. and is comfortable. We do not won
der that ministers, who are more sub
ject to have dressing-gowns thrust at
them than any other class of people,
turn out bad, at times, and have their
lives worried out of them. We can think
OF no fate that is worse than to be a
bachelor clergyman, and have hal a
dozen dressing-gowns to wear. For an
act that is supposed and intended to
convey TO the recipient good wishes and
happy, contented life, the presenting
of dressing-gown to man is full OF
dangers. Men may rally from the first
dressing gown. and by constantly
that they are well provided with
such comforts, stand off any attempt on
the part of weil-meaning friend to
present them with another, but there
are so many men who are not brave
enough to assert their independence,
and say right out that they have enough
dressing gowns, that we have ceased to
wonder at the prevalence of crime. 1t
has got so in some States that men
club together a few weeks before Christ
mas and each assist the other in spread
ing the information that all are sup
piled with dressings gowns, so that no
misguided person may cause two dress
ing gowns to bloom where only one
bloomed before. Societies should be
formed for the amelioration of the sad
condition of men who are compelled to
habitually wear dressings when
at home. They already have the heart
felt sympathy of all who have enamel
pated themselves from the slavery of the
gown, but they need something beside
sympathy. We would close this article
by solemn warning addressed to young
women. Whatever you do in the way
of presents to the man you love, never
hire anybody to erect dressing-gown
for him, because it will cause conceal
ment, like a worm in the bud, TO feed
on him, and il will fit him too ultimately,
and some day you will find that he has
tZ el,