Morning journal and courier., 1883-08-29
IRONICAL.

In the far west man advertises for 8
 woman ito wash, iron and milk aone or two COWS" What does he want his COWS washed
 and ironed for ?''-Derrick.
 sI know it's pretty hot here," said a Mil ton storekeeper, sbut am going down to the beach where nay wife is, to stay over Sunday, and it's scold enough there."- Milton News.
 Mrs. Romespun, who has terrible time l every morning to get her young brood out of their beds, says she cannot understand why children are called the rising generation
 Transcript.
 It is about an even thing between man
 and orange peel. Sometimes the man throws
 the orange peel into the gutter, and some- times the orange peel throws the man Lon don Musical World.
 of the press is headed, "A Young Lady Tightly Embraced by Serpent" Such in cidents are not rare. But the young lady doesn't know at the time that he is 8 serpent. Sometimes she doesn't discover the fact until after she marries him.-Norristown Herald.
 Senator Jones, who has been revisiting his native land, regards Ireland as the land of the past.'' A horrid suspicion haunts our mind that the intelligent compositor has got in his work again, and that instead of regard. ing Ireland as .sthe land of the past''-a supremely senseless proposition-the Florida Senator merely spoke of it as tsthe land of the Pats. s."-Transcript.
 Petite, the Italian actor, who was on the stage of the theater at Casamicciola when the earthquake broke up the performance, escaped safe and sound, and arrived at Naples in the costume of Pulcinello. Up to last accounts he had not abandoned the be- lief that nature was conyufsed by the great ness Of his acting. Boston Post ', v A patent medicine manufacturer died in New York last week Before he died his friends asked him how he would like to. be buried. He had just atrength left to say, s'Insert me top column next to reading mat ter ffty-two times electro by mail 2 and then he closed his eyes and passed away to that bourne where there are no omissions nor wrong insertions. Texas Siftiags. f
 ':Aw, can you tell me, Miss Fair" queried# George Washington La; Dude, after brief period of intense studys ''why the-aw---l CPonto's caudal appendage is ike coming event?ps No, Mr. La Dude'' -ttWells aw, !, 1t is something to acur. don't you know hal a haip gfs.sVery. good,. Mir. La Dude; very good. But can you tell me why your hat Is like bad habit P 'sWhy, err. av; we'll no-why is it ?n 'tBecause it is soraething you are just too bad for anything, don't you know T1The Judge ss s.1sg zss az .5ls.I have been with you now three months,s P said the junior clerk, ''and | think ought to have aaslary. something nearly eommensur- ate to my sarvice.sa .sH'ml" replied his enl- pioyer;s fswell, times have not Q been very good; you haven't had much to do, you know. Couldn't think of giving you more than fifty dollars & month. l" olerk--"Beg pardon, sir; am not to blame because you haven't done business enough to keep me busy. expect to get paid for what know, not for what Ide.p Employsr-sA0hl That puts the matferi ina new light. al shah give. you i've dollars month hereafter. "-Boston Transeript.3 4ehi sa.f gzes aa8 aaz i,a