The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-10-25
HUMOR.
3-FIT-Hysterics.


A BLACK BARE-A Hottentot.
AGAINST the grain-Rust and rats.
OFF on a tear-The tail of coat.
OUT at the elbow-A disconnected
stove pipe
To DOCTORS: Any patient worth
knowing is worth knowing well.
A GENTLEMAN with an eruption of the
scalp acknowledges with sorrow that
there is indeed plenty of rheum at the
top.
THE mill owner who turned the fire.
hose upon some of his disorderly en-
ployes explained his conduct by saying
he was only washing his hands.
TEACHER: "Can you tell me which is
the olfactory organ?" Pupil frankly
answers: "No, sir" Teacher: "Cor-
rect Pupil goes off in brown study.
A TITLE peach IN an orchard grew
or emerald hue-so rare
Our baby on that peach did chew
And climbed the golden stair
AN amateur singer in Chenango
count, n. Y, frightened a pair of
canai birds to death. 1t must have
been clear case of killing two birds
with ONE tone.
WHEN Neptune wants to hirt with
Mother Earth, he gently waves the sea
across her bosom. - JVhitehGU Times.
And then invites her to the bank-wet.
Ne,U York NelUs.
A PROFESSOR of the Allopathic school
explains the Homeopathic theory of
as milia similibus curantur" by saying:
lkI l.. Il, 4 l.aA l.f.N
again with brickbat."
UNDER certain circumstances it makes
q man feel mean to have people give
him a wide berth, but somehow it never
does when he is travelling on a steam
boat.-Barlingtorl Free Press.
IT'S all right to promise folks the
sweetest of music in the next world,
but it would be more comforting if they
were also promised the capacity for APP
preciating it.-BoSton Post.
"SANDED Strawberries" is a new game
which is played at the table when the
Strawberries have been properly pre-
pared for the palate. The game is to
guess whether the sand came with the
berries or the sugar.
OLD gent-"Ah, Mrs. b., did you
keep a diary during your visit TO the
country" Mrs. b., indignantly-"No,
sir, didn't. The family bought milk
from the neighbors. Cincinnati Trap
eler.
The difference between the business
of a circus advance agent and drug
gist seems to be this: The first spends
much of his time in the posting of his
bills; the latter in boasting his pills.
Pittsburgh Telegraph.
"WHAT a fne-looking man that is !"
said one gentleman to another, noticing
face and form such as would attract
attention anywhere. EYES," was the
reply; "he looks like an encyclopedia,
but he talks like primer"
THE average young lady wants at
least four feet of seat In street-car for
n ride of six blocks, but she will ride
half a day Sunday squeezed into
buggy-seat beside her Young man and
not find the least fault. Why are they
SO Inconsistent?
DANistL beset for her photograph,
BY a vapId youth or the genus calf,
Agreed at last tn boon 20 gran.
TO the great delight or the gay gallant
on, thanks 81 al he, " ] some day shall
Plead Tor the fair original.
And rogushly sha king her jaunty head,
I'm give you the negative. them she said.
Wasp
"Now / WANT to know" said q man
whose veracity has been questioned by
an angry acquaintance, Gust why you
call me liar BE frank, sir, for frank
ness is a golden-trimmed virtue. Just
as friend now tell me why you called
me a liar 2" Called YOU liar because
you are liar" the acquaintance
replied. THAT'S what call frankness.
Why, sir, if this rule were adopted, over
half of the difficulties would be settled
without trouble, and in our case there
would have been trouble but for our
willingness to meet each other half
way. "-ArkdnSalo Trareler.