The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1883-05-07

MONDAY MORNING, MAY z.
The Etiquette Of Dining.

Says one who has given his attention to
this thing:
II the dinner is not sufficiently formal
one for dinner cards, the host should inform
each gentleman whom he should take down
to dinner. If any difficulty arise, the host
ess must come TO the rescue, and playfully
indicate who must be the lady chosen. But
It saves injured feelings and trouble If the
list is made out before dinner, aud the gen.
tleman Is informed as to whom he is to offer
his arm invariably his right arm.
When the guests are all arrived, the but-
Ter comes into the room, and, addressing the
hostess, says, Madame, dinner is served ,,
Unless he has been instructed to wait for n
tardy guest, he does this fifteen minutes af-
ter seven, If dinner. is ordered at seven. If
he Is ordered to wait, he must remain in the
dining room until he hears his masters bell.
The duties of a hostess at dinner are. in
the ilrst place, to use a woman's tact as 10
the invited guests, striving to find out who
VIII be agreeable to each other, and placing
suca people near each other. Some women
nave sixth sense as to this delicate point,
and some ara utterly deficient in it.
TO give dinners simply to pay one's debts
IS IN the extreme disruption Of all hospital
lty To pay ones debts, and at the same
time give delightful and hospitable dinners,
is 10 raise hospitality to very grand thing.
A clever hostess not only places her guests
IN the proper neighborhood, but she adroitly
starts the conversation for them. Ii she has
invited gourmand, who cares more for her
excellent entrees than for the lady next him,
If he has come merely to eat and not to talk,
she must address some remark to him and
to the lady which will set them both talking
If possible. She must at least let him know
that she observes his silence.
The manner of n hostess Shonid prAsank a
simple dignity, and an equal interest in all
her guests. Ii she sees guest lingering oy-
er plate which the servant is waiting to re-
move, she must seem TO be eating, herself,
and save him from the modification of look
ing up and observing that he is the last. III
she has a ready wit and pleasant laugh, ii
she has tact, she can make everybody happy
at her table. But it is sign of a vulgar
woman and one of low breedingif she shows
more attention to one than another, If she
pays servile Difference to wealth or fashion
and treats an old friend with GOODNESS.
Some women invite those whom they CON
slider as their interiors to their houses appar-
emily to insult them; others gush in a ride
ulous manner. Either extreme is in bad
taste. The old courteous dignity which gave
every lady formula of manners having
passed, each lady must make a manner for
herself. Etiquette should be veneered over
good heart and thorough self-respect,
then it cannot wander far from the perfect
bearing
The way of serving a ceremonious dinner
in the great cities is now almost wholly what
is called "a Ia RusSe,' that is. nothing is
put on the table but the dessert. Every
thing else is handed by the walters. This
has its advantages, as il saves the host all
trouble of carving and helping. This plan
is also neater, and has obyiated the old fash
ion of removing the cloth, which was very
inconvenient. Now modern dinner table
has the same neatne of aspect at the end
of dinner that it had at the beginning.
The modern guest, as she seats herself at
dinner table, sees before her a picture of
beauty in the white open-worked linen cloth,
the silver, glass, aud porcelain, the flowers
and the fruits, and the beautiful ruby flag
ons, mounted in gold, which hold the wine,
and recall Rnben's pictures. At her plate
she finds bonb0nRiere on which her name
is painted, bouquet, and perhaps other
gifts, like fans, etc, etc.
The first delicacy brought to her will be
possibly clans or oysters on the half-shell,
with bit of lemon. This is followed by a
plate of soup, and she noiselessly eats her
soup. This again is followed by fish, which
is eaten with a fork,-a small fork, which
she viii find at her plate. After the fish
comes an entree, such as sweet-breads with
green pease, or dish of chicken in little
pasties called boHeheese a Ia Refine, and with
the fish and these entrees white wine is
drunk. After these mOrsels come the pieces
de resistance, the heavy roasts, filets, and so
on. Then Roman punches called sorbets
tvery refreshing ices, with some liqueur to
give point TO them, are passed in small
glasses on pretty dishes, like roses or boats,
or something fanciful. These are followed
by game and nate de fois 1rnS and salads
After the salad, cheese and some delicate
biscuits preeede the dessert. A cabinet or
plum pudding is then passed, served on ele-
CANT dessert plates. After that ices and jel-
lies. Then fruit, candies and preserved
ginger are handed. Each guest has by this
time glass plate and finger bowl before
him, into which tasteful hostesses throw a
few fragrant flowers. Coffee in small cups
finishes the dinner