Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1883-04-03

to come TO II. He asked me how it wai
when we initiated women, and tolC
him women never took this degree. He
pulled off his pants, and wanted CHECK
for them, but / told him the granG
mogM would hold his clothes, and ther
I blindfolded him, and with base bal
club pounded on the floor as L walked
him around the gymnasium, while the
lodge headed by my chum, sung, 'We
won't 60 home till morning Then ]
stopped in front of the ice water tank,
and said, Grand Worthy Duke, bring
you pilgrim who has drank of the
drugs until his stomach won't hold wa
ter, and whe desires to swear off," The
| and well qualified, and told him he
had been drunk more or less since the
reunion last summer, which ought to
qualify him. Then the grand mogul
made pa repeat the most blood curdling
oath, in which pa agreed if he ever
drank another drop to allow any body to
/ pull his toe nails out with tweezers, to
have bis liver dug out and fed to dogs,
his head chopped off and his eyes re-
moved. Then the mogul said we would
brand the candidate on the bare back
with the initial letters of our order, "G.
t." that all might read how brand had
been snatched from the burning. You'd
died to see pa finch when pulled up
his shirt and got ready to brand him.
My chum got a piece of ice out of the
water cooler, and just as he clapped it
onto pas back l burned piece of horse
hOOf in the candle and held it to pas
nose, and / guess pa actually thought it
was his turning skin that he smelled.
He jumped about sig feet, and said,
Great heavens, what you dewin,' and
then be began to roll over barrel which
/ had arranged for him. Pa thought he
was going down cellar, and he hung
to the barrel but he was on top half the
time. When pa and the barrel got
through fighting l was beside him, and
said, Calm yourself, and be prepared
for the ordeal that is to follow Pa
asked how much of this dunn foolin'
there was and he said he was sorry he
joined. He said he cogld let lfoker
alone without having the skin burned
off his back. / told pa to be brave and
not weaken, and all would be well. He
wiped the perspir-tion off his face on the
end of his shirt, and we put q belt
around his body and hitched it to a
tackle and pulled him up so his feet
were just off the floor, and then we
talked as though we were away off, and
I told my ohum to look out that pa did
not hit the gas fixtures, and pa actually
thought he was being hauled clear up
to the roof could see he was scared
by the complexion of his hands and feet
as they clawed the air. He actually
sweated 30 the drops fell on the floor.
Bime by we let HIM down, and he was
awfully relieved, though his feet were
not more than tive inches from the floor
any of the time. We were justgoing to
slide pa down board with slivers in to
give him realizing sense of the rough
road reformed man has to travel, and
had got him straddle Of the board, when
the Dutchman came home from the
dance, fullern goose, and he drove US
boys out, and left pa, and the Dutchman
said, 'Vot you vas dOin' here NIT dose
boys, you old duffer, and ware vas your
pants p and pa pulled off the handkef
chief from his eyes, and the Dutchman
said il be didn't get out in a holy min
ute he would kick the stuff1n' out of
him, and pa got out.
He took his pants and put them
on out in the alley, and then we come
up to pa and told him that was the third
time the drunken Dutchman had broke
up our lodge, but we should keep doing
good until we had redeemed every drum
kard in Milwaukee, and pa said that
was right, and he would see us through
If it cost every dollar he had. Then we
took him home, and when ma asked if
she couldn't join the lodge too, pa said,
Now you take my advice and don't you
ever join no Good Templars. Your
system could not stand the racket. say,
I want you to put soma cold cream on
my back I think pa will be differ
ent man now. don't you ?"
The groceryman said if he was that
boys pa for fifteen minutes he would be
a different boy. or there would be a fun
ersl, and the boy took q handful of soft
shelled almunds and a few layers of
rssins and skipped out. rl