davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27

there, and the natifsid be sorry they
were such sinners anybody would .end
you to 'em. He says he never seen
heather hungry enough to eat you,
less twas blind one, an you'd set
blind pagans teeth on edge so he'd
never banker after any more mission
airy. Uncle Dicks awful funny, and
times"
''YOur Uncle Richard is bad. de-
PRAYED wretch, and ought to have re-
NAMED out west, where his style is
appreciated. He sets q horrid exam
pie for little girls like you"
''Oh, | think he's nice. He showed
me how to slide down the banisters,
and he's teaching me to whistle when
ma. amt around. That's pretty
cloak you've got, amt it? Do you
buy al your good clothes with mission
airy money? Ma says you do"
Just then the freckle-faced little
girls ma came into the parlor and
kissed the missionary ladv On the
cheek and said she was delighted to
see her. and ,hev proceeded to have .
real sociable chat. The little girls
ma can't understand why . person who
processes to be so charitable ~ the
missionary agent dues should 60 right
over to Miss Diamonds and say such
ill-natured things as che did. and she
thinks the missionary is double
faced gossip.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27
THE FRECKLE-FACED GIRL.
How She Entertained q Visitor
While Her Ma Was Dressing.
Boston Gil he.

oOetOu S
s'Ma's up stairs changing her dress"
said the ffeckle-faced little girl, tying
her dolls bcnnet-string and casting
her eye about for a tidy large enough
to serve as shawl for that double
jointed young person.
"Oh your mother needn't dress up
for me" replied the female agent Of
the missionary society, taking q self
satisfied view Of herselfin the mirror"
Run up and tell her. to come down just
as she is in her everyday clothes, and
not stand on ceremony.
20, but she hasn't got on her every
day clothes. Ma was al dressed up
10 her new brown silk, cause she ex-
pec,ed Miss Dimmond to-day. Miss
Dimnond always comes over here to
show of her nice things, and ma didn't
mean to get left. When ma saw you
coming she said. The Dickensv and /
guess she was mad about something.
Ma said if you saw her new dress she'd
have to hear all about the poor heath
en-, who dent have silk and YOU would
ask her for more money to buy
hymn books to send 'em. Say do the
niger ladies use hymn hook leaves to
do their hair upon and make it frizzyl
Ma saye she guesses that's all the good
the books do 'em, if they ever get any
books. / wish my doll was heather.
why you wicked little girl. what
do You want Of heather doll % in
quired the missionary lady, taking =
mental inventory o. the new things in
the parlor to get material for . homily
on worldly extravagance.
$50 folks would send her lots of
nice things to wear and feel sorry to
have her going about naked. Then
she'd have hair to frizz. and / want q
doll With truly hair and eyes that roll
up like Deacon Sliderback's when he
SAYS amen on Sunday. l amt . wicked
girl either, cause Uncle Dick--y on know
uncle Dick. he's been out west and
swears awful and smokes in the house
he says I'm . holy terror and he
hopes III be an angel pretty soon.
Mall be down in q minute, SO you
needn't take your cloak of. She said
shed box my ears if asked you to.
Mas putting on that old dress she bad
last year, cause she said she didn't
want you to think she was able to
give you much this time, and she
needed muff worse than the queen
Of the cannon ball islands needed re-
igion. Uncle Dick says you ought
to 60 the islands, cause you'd b safe
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27
APPLETON O1TY LETTER.

special Correspondence Bazoo.
APPLETON CITY, Feb. %.
-Wakeman rather stole march on the
boys.
Let the dog killing 20 on. and our cit,
be rid OF these useless, worthless ours
Capt. Donohoe shipped four car loads
of fine cattle to st. Louis, Mo, ON Monday.
Several of our merchants ha ve recently
ordered large bills oil goods for their spring
trade.
Charley Bartlett went to Sedslia Sat-
urday night 10 spend the Sabbath with his
best girl.
The Ossse river 10 reported as being
over banks full, but doing no serious dam
sge rs yet.
We have lost all confidence in
Thermometers dewn this way. The msr
curry has been cutting up all sorts of capers
vi hin the past few days.
Mrs. Peak will soon vacste the Apple
ton house. This leaves room for some one
ANXIOUS to serve corfding public, to en-
gage iu the hotel business.
Miss Matte Sloss, q charming young
lady of this city, passed her sixteenth birth
day last Thursday, and was the recipient
of many pretty and valuable presents.
james w. Wskemsn, proprietor Of
the postOfice book store, was united iu
marriage o. Sunday afternoon to Miss
Ibbie L. King, Rev. Han,el officiating.
Henry Scbell, who has, for the past
year or more, been Identified with E. Nc
King, recently shook of his clerkship, and
has engaged in business for himself 1t
Eontrose He is an energetic young man
and merits success.
The common council conveped On Fri
day last. and passed an ordinance author
ixiDg and instructing the city marshal 10
kill all dogs found within the city limits
without being muzzled, af'er saturday,
March IL.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27
A BE1LIoERENT BEAUTY.
Miss Montague Uses Her Umbrella
Upon q Police Omcer.
Philadelphia Record.

Philadelphia Record
"You are not q geDtlemaraud never
can be" tartly remarked Miss Louise
Montague to Counselor White, in
court Of common pleas No. 4, yester-
day afternoon. The lawyer had just
concluded his argument on behalf Of
Snowman Forepaugh in the suit
against him by Miss Montague for
damages for injuries sustained in fall
ing from an elephant. Mr.. White bad
been particularly severe upon her in
his address to the jury. MI. Heverin
made the argument in behalf Of the
fair plaintiff, and the jury retired.
Subsequently the jury returned and
asked Judge Arnold whether IN ele-
plant which gave occasional displays
Of temper could be considered "malic-
ious, or whether to merit that adject-
i've he must be in q continual state Of
bad temper. The Judge replied that
occasional displays would be sufficient
to pnt the defendant upon bis guard.
Shortly afterward . sealed verdict
was presented to the court, and will be
opened this morning. Upon this ar
nouncement Miss Montague threw her
rich looking sealskin cloak upon her
shapely shoulders snd accompanied by
her counsel, started to leave the court
room. Just ontside the door she en-
countered Police Officer Myers, who
had testified against her. Upon OBJ
serving him she elevated her umbrella
and brought it down with . whack
across the chest of the surprised min
ion of the law. Before she could re-
peat the blow Counsellor Heverin hur-
ried her away.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27
NEVADA LITTER.

Correspondence TO the BAzoo.
NEVADA, No, Feb 22.
j. C. Sappington, OF Kansas City, is in
the city on business
w. b Walker is going to Butler Sun
day to see his solid girl.
Henry Kanne, Of Butler, made flying
visit to Nevada Wednesday.
Mrs. NJ. f. Tally and Mrs. j. p. Pey-
ton, Of Usage, Kansas, are registered at the
Nevsda house.
N. n. Williams, OF Chicago, q popular
travelling salesman, is in the city shaking
hands with old friends. He stops ut the
Nevada house.
Mrs. Lucas end her sister, Miss Katie
Taylor, left "Wednesday evening for War
SOW ON . visit to their mother. They will
spend several weeks there.
Mrs. F. A. Phelps. wife of Prof.
Phelps, :eacher OF mus in this place,
leaves Thursday for AN extended visit to
her neither, in Chicago. Mrs. Phelps is .
lady Who moves in the best circle oil socie.
~. and many regret her departure.
The stock holders of the opera house
net at Capt Aliens music store, Wednes-
day night, according to appointment, and a
good deal of business was transacted. The
finance committee is to raise $500 TO defrav
the necessary expenses. The committee on
ball invitations " II send invitations in a
few days, and all that do not receive invi.
tatious will have to pay for their dancing.
A band from Fl. Scott will furnish music
for the parade. The Nes ada orche,tra will
furnish music for the opera and dancers.
The committee are arranging for lodging
and will have everything in readiness. The
'bases will carry passengers form the depot
j. e. Hawkins, a well-io-do farmer.
living i've miles north of Nevads, had q
couple of fine hsrses stolen from him at his
residence. The thieves first started out
with five head, bu, three of them were
young and not quite manageable. They
tied two OF the young horses together and
drove them before them, and led the other
three until they got To the iron bridge that
crosses the Narrator, about eight miles
north OF here, when the two they were
driving would not 20 across the bridge and
the other young horse jerked loose
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27
Mad Bovine.

GRfEN RIDGE, Mo Feb. ,ls. 1888
EDITok BAzOO:-A mad COW took pos
session of our Town to-day, and for two
hours the citizens were much alarmed. A
posse of braves, armed with carbiues and
shot.guns, pursued and shot her cowship,
greatly to the satisfaction of all parties
concerned. The animal was bitten by q
dog recently, and it was decided case of
bydrophobia- What We want now is an
oid-fashioned dog killing. regardless of
blood or pets. CITIZEN.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27

There are more persons who do not read
the papers and general literature OF the day
than . casual observer would suppose.
Many business men know their business
thoroughly, and know nothing else save
what comes directly under their notice
They take no papers and get no foreign
news. and important events actually take
place in their own locality OF which they
remain profoundly ignorant. For instance,
IN intelligent man in our community was
asked what he thought of the character Of
Gambetta, and replied that he did not
lnov who the aforesaid gentleman was.
Another, on being asked shout the fire At
Milwaukee,, opened his eyes vide and said
he had never heard of it
A man may be successful in business and
know little about what goes on outside Of
his store or shop. but he certainly robs
himself Of much OF what life is worth liv-
ing for and deprives the nation and the
world of what should be useful citizen
Such man is not capable of voting in an
intelligent manner he is unit for any
public Office, and, in fact. il only half q
man.
1t is the privilege Of every free man, and
now no man is fetiered save BY vice. to
know what his fellow men are doing in this
big world. Ii i q pleasure to be acqusint-
ed with the prominent men of the world
through the columns Of the public press,
and the man who does not read must ieel
like hermit, in the midst OF busy, bustling
humsnity.
Reading feeds the mind and keeps the
whole brain active. and withO II it the
id. as must run in groove, q mOnotOnOus,
groove q, that to man Of spirit.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27

Judge Parkinson of Butler, has rooms
at the Amrine house during circuit court.
&c. A. Neal made professional trip to
Appleton City the first two days OF the
week.
Messrs. Watkins Bros. and b. l.. Lilley
have purchased the hardware store OF j. s
English & Sou. The store will b. in charge
Of the latter gentleman.
-Messrs. Watkin Bros. will soon remove
thesr dry goods store from Clinton to this
place, and occupy the store room at the
corner of Second and Pine streets.
Mr. Kroutz, Of Clinton, was in town q
few days this week, looking at our city %
place OF business, and finally concluded
to place lumber yard here His lumber
will arrive about the first OF March.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27
Good Advice.

You will prevent and cure the greater
part of the ills that sfiiict mankind in this
or any section, If you keep your stomache,
liver and Kidneys in working order.
There is no medicine known that does this
As surely Ms Parker's Ginger Tonic. 1t
will keep yonr blood rich and pure, and
give you good health at little cost. See
other column.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27

olenn's Sulphur Soap is the most
reliable purifier of the skin in the market.
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in
one minute.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27

From Van Buren, by Pike, Msssies In. o)
Munseils "a. o. TO Eminence. IS miles and
back, once week.........- 2O5
From rnionville, by Odarn and ST. Johns
time. q :. sss
From Cambridge 10 Station on Chicago
Alton railroad, lL miles and back, twelve
times . veek............... ............... 1903
and hack, nee ~eek....................... Isl
From Van Buren, by Pike Greek In. o. and
Sitiop's Store TO Alton, "a miles and back,
once q week .............................. u.s.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27
The Safest Way.

The safest and surest way to restore the
youthful color of the hair is furnished bv
Psrker's Hair Bslsam, which is deservedly
popular from lis superior cleanliness.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27

A NASAL INJECTOR free with each
bottle of Shiloh's Catarrh Remedy. Price
80 cents For sale by Barb & Miller.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27

'HACEMETACK,' a lasting and fra.
grant perfume. Price % and 50 cents
For sale by Bard & Miller.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27

Old fishermen look for an early run os
shad this spring.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27

The Spirit of the Times prints that Mr..
Walton, the plunger. is forming . racing
stable in England with the best race horses
he can buy in America.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27

MIR. l.. l. Lorillard is to oversee the
race horses oi his brother, in England, this
year.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27

John A. Kennedy is convalescent. He
will begin training for his race with Han.
Ian i'm March.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27

Bells Life deplores the SCI rci;y of
good thorous Inbred brood mares in Eng
land.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27

Commodore kiit.on's trolters are com
ing round again.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27
Thick Heads

Thick Heads.
Heavy stomachs, bilious conditions.
Wells May Apple Pills" anti bilious,
cathartic. 10 and 25e.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-27

OsCEOLA, Feb p.
Our pail lines are again running on
time
e. j. Smith, attorney, of Sedalia, is
attending court this week.
DR. ID. c. Mcneil will return with his
bride from Kansas, Thursday.
-Jno Galbreatb. of Appleton, talks be-
fore Judge Barton his week.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-02-03
THREE TROUBLES.


Three carpets hung waving in the breeze,
Abroad in the breeze as the sun went down;
And three husbands, with patches of dirt on their
knees,
Whacked whacks that were heard for miles up
and down,
For men must work and women must clean,
And the carpets be beaten, no matter how mean,
While the neighbors do the bossing
Three housewives: leaned out of their windows
raised
Of their windows raised, where the light
streamed in;
And they scrubbed and scrubbed till their heads
grew dazed,
And their ears were filed with horrible din.
For the pots will fill, and the kettles go bang,
And boilers in the attic 10 hang,
While the husbands do the swearing.
TIeea husbands went out in the haymows to
hide
In the Laymows to hide, where their wives
ne'sr looked.
Each said as he rolled himself Ger on his side
81 guess will snore, for know am booked
For men may swoar, but women may dust;
And before move that stove that must
! stay right here till morning"
Three judges sat on their benches to judge
Three cases that came from a house cleaning
row.
The parties asserted they mover would bulge,
But wanted. divorces "right here and righ
now."
So the men went off and the women went home
And hereafter will do their house cleann
alone,
While their former partners snicker.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-02-03
Edge Tools.

All cutting and piercing edge tools
operate on the principle of the wedge.
A brad.awl furnishes an example which
edge of the awl sewers the fbres of
wood as the instrument enters, and the
particles are compressed into smaller
compass, in the same manner as when a
piece of wood is severed by wedge. A
chisel is wedge in one sense. and an
ak, drawing knife, or jackknife is also a
wedge. When a keen edged raz IL is
made to clip hair or to remove mans
beard it operates on the principle of the
wedge. Every intelligent mechanic un-
derstands that when wedge is dressed
out smoothly it may be driven with
much more force than if it's surface were
left Jagged and rough. The same idea
holds good with respect to edge tools.
If the cutting edge be ground and whet
to as fine an edge as may be practicable
with a fine grit5ed milestone, and if the
surface back of the cutting edge be
ground smooth and true, and polished
neatly, so that one can discern the color
OF his eyes by means of the polished sur
face, the tool will enter whatever is to be
cut by the application of much less force
than if the surfaces were left as rough as
they usually are when the tool leaves the
grindstcne All edge tools, such as
axes, chisels and planes, that are oper-
ated with crushing instead of draw
ing stroke, should be polished neatly
clear to the cutting edge, to facilitate
their entrance into the substance to be
cut Manufacturer and Builder.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-02-03

LoUIsE's THIRD EoUEREY.
and Grayson Macarthur has been invited
to become third equerry to Princess
Louise Of Canada, and will probably &C.
cept The position is one of distinction
and profit. The first equerry is Colonel
Thomas Fitz Dobbins-J Zones whois Lieu
tenant McArthur's cousin. The Princes
happened to be looking over Colonel
Dobbins-J Jones album one day and, upon
seeing the Lieutenant's photograph, ex-
claimed: 'By my halldom, Sir Thomas,
this goodly knight hath found favor IN
mine eyes. Summon him at once into
our royal presence" Colonel Dobbins-
Jones informed her that the Lieutenant
was in far off country, filling the hum
bic role of private secretary. "Odds
bobs!' cried the Princess. 'tHe shall
have the first vacancy that occurs In our
court" Last week Captain Algernon
We're de we're Smithers, of the Quebec
Horse marines, died of enlargement of
the spleen, and yesterday Lieutenant
Macarthur received word that he had
been appointed to the vacancy.-Denyer
Tribune.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-02-03
A Breach or Promise Suit.

There is young man in this county
of Wayne. State of Michigan, who is
going to be terribly astonished before
the year 1888 is more than month old,
saws the Detroit Free Press. The law
will reach out and clasp his throat just
above the Adams apple, and he will get
such shaking up and mopping around
that he will seem to feel his heels
beating tattoo upon the back of his
neck.
They were in to see lawyer-Mary
Ann and her mother. Mary Ann was
little embarrassed, but the old woman
was calmness itself. When they spoke
about breach of promise case, the law
yer asked:
.sWhat evidence have you got?''
MARY Ann, produce the letter"
commanded the mother, and the girl
took the cover off willow basket, and
remarked that she thought 927 letters
would do to begin on. The other Col
would be produced as soon as the case
was fairly before the court.
'sAnd outside of these letters?" queried
the lawyer.
Mary Ann, produce your diary" said
the mother. Nov turn to the head
ing of PROMISES and tell him how many
times this marriage business was talked
over"
'The footing is 214 times" answered
the girl.
"Now turn to the head of Darling
and give us the number of times he has
applied the term to you"
/ 1t have figured right the total is
1854 times.
II guess you counted pretty straight,
for you are good in arithmethic. Now,
turn to the heading of 'Woodbine Cot
tage,' and tell us how many times he
has talked of such home for you after
marriage"
':The footing is 1895 times"
Very we'll. This lawyer wants to be
sure that we've got case. How many
times has Charles Henry said he would
die for you?"
''Three hundred and fifty" answered
the girl, as she turned over a leaf.
How many times has he called yor
an angel?"
"Over IL 900, mamma"
How about squeezing hands?'
cover 3S4 900 squeezes."
"And ksses?"
NEARLY AIT .000."
''There's our casel' said the mother
as she deposited basket and diary on tn,
lawyers table. ''Look over the docu
ments, and, if you want anything fur
ther can bring in a dozen neighbors te
swear facts. We sue for SIC, 900 dam
ages, and we don't settle for less than a.
S0-acre farm, with buildings in good re
J pair. Well call again next week. Goo
day, sir"
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-02-03

GRADING PENsIoNs.-Th proposition
to grade pensions seems en-. inently
proper. The man who has lost leg, or
an arm, or an eye, deserves to receive
more pension than one whose wound is
troublesome but not disabling. So. the
man who has lost both legs or both
arm is subject of greater eommisera-
ton than either of the above
named instances. Congress seems
disposed to take this view of the mat
ter, as it certainly should do. Wars are
not made by those who fight in them.
If the soldier who fights In the battle is
to be crippled, the country is in honor
bound to see that he shall in some sort
be provided for. There are said to be
many fraudulent applications for pen
sions. These ought, of course, to be
guarded against, but the deserving
seould not be neglected nor overlooked
on this account.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-02-03
NEW LIQUOR HOUSE..
Ranch of the Old House OF yVilmerSing q ca
Here.

Bsanch of the Old House OF Wilmeriing q Co.,
EstaAia.hed Here.
So great has been the growth of this trade in
Oregon, Washington and Idaho in the past two
years. that Wilmerding & Co.. OF New York and San
Francisco. decided last season to establish branch
in this city. They secured suitable quarters in the
old o. s. N. Co. block No. Al Front street, Ash.
The establishment ia In charge of Charles and N.
Kohn two young men well known to the trade, un-
der the2hrm name of Charles Kohn & Co. The elder
brotl4ArAhas been connected with the firm of Will
merding Co. for years. while "Tally," IS he is
familiarly known, has for seven years represented
Rosenthal Feder Co. on the northwest coast. Both
brothers have the necessary energy. Judgment
and knowledge of trade to make the new enterprises
q success
coast trade for thirtytwo years. and the brands OF
liquors hsndled by them have become favorttes. II
Is sufficient to say that the firm will maintain
the good reputation which required years of honor
able dealing to create.