The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1883-05-11

eAuuS ssAV epu40 EOOtU
.; me Rnarled old boughs grow fnll Of buds,
Inat CLEAN and leaf In multitudes. I,
/ AZ And then. first cold and white, 4, y
a =, Soon flashing with delight, S
me hossom heads come out and blow.
NJ Edmund Gosse.
GENTLEMANLY JOE.
That was the name by,which no was known
IN the banking house of Ducat, Gulden & Ducat,
Z or at least in that branch Of it which did q
thriving business 40 the great commercial city
OF Birchespod. Il didn ot.require moro than
nve minutes acquaintance, however, to in
form the uninihated that the apparently COM
fplimentary epithet was bestowed rather from q
, Keen sense of humor on the part Of his five
I, fellow. clerks, than on account OF any excep-
tonal claims to blue blood in the case of Mr..
Joseph Smith himself. Even the casual GUS
toner. whose knowledge Of Joe was limited
to watching the self satisfied smirk and enor-.
NOUS watch guard at the other side Of the
shining mahogany desk, or admiripg the en-
/: phasis with which he utilized his moistened
shumb in overcoming the grcgarious leaves of
his ledger. must have been struck by the mis-.
appropriate epithet To US. however, who had,
so to say, sat at his feet and marvelled at the
war Of independence which he was carrying on
against the Queens English guerilla warfare
consisting in attacks upon aapirates, and the
cutting of of straggling g's-to us our fanciful
isobrlquet was Joke OF the first water. If any
thing could have enhanced our enjoyment of
, companion accepted the doubtful title, aud,
, after one feeble remonstrance adopted It for
/, ever as his own prerogative and right
The circumstances Of that remonstrance de-
Mr.. Joseph Smith from the paternal training
'stables-his father was successful sporting
tout who had developed into "a traner-our
oftice had been q particularly aristocratic one.
Welstead, our senior clerk, was fine, hand
some young fellow Of twenty who came of
"a good Scotch strain, and was occasionally
understood to make dark illusions concerning
the extinct earldom of Stirling; Dullan aud
.Moreby were Oxford men, we'll connected and
we'll read; little Sparkins was the son of q high
church clergyman, and had some Of the best
blood Of Wales in my veins. No wonder, then,
that our dignity was hurt by the appearance OF
q loudly dressed, notwithstanding youth, with
horseshoe pin and necktie suggestive Of
spectrum analysis, upon the very stool lately
vacated by my old college friend Vernon
.Hawkins-most gentlemanly and quiet Of man
kind ia =
For few days we contented ourselves with
observing the habits and customs Of the crea-
'ture. There was an audacty about his vulgarity,
and happy Inconsistencies of all offense,
which fairly disarmed criticism. It was not
until he began to address us as s'old pals" and
went the length Of playing small practical
joke upon little Sparkins, that spirit of resist
.anoe began to stir within our bosoms. and that
Welstead. as usual. was pushed forward as our
mouthplece.
you see, Smith, "he remarked III his most
1anguid tones, ssyOu have been in our Office
comparatively short period, and yet you have
taught us many things which were new to US.
:acter which points You out as one calculated
to shine in the most select circles. Before
your arrival we had never learned to designate
ladies as sfllies, nor had we heard Of the real
gents whom you mention rs having frequented
your fathers establishment These things in
terost and please U.s. Allow us to show some
small sense of the honor your society confers
upon us, by christening you as 'GentlemanIy
joe excusing the liberty we take with your
name in consideration of the Alteration"
lost upon Mr.. Joseph, but never did elaborate
sarcasm fall 80 utterly tat Instead Of being
offended, as we had fondly hoped would be the
case, he burst into on uproarious fit Of
laughter, and slapped mis- gathered leg with the
he roared, writing about on the top Of the high
stool. "Whatever'll father cay! Oh! law, to
think of it! "Gentlemanly Jo''-eh? You're
right, though; you're right, aud not ashamed to
own up neither. said when Twas comm up,
Father says I, 'l1l teach them trick or
two and 1 have, hain't I? OF course we're
all gents here, for clerks is mostly reckoned
such, but it do make difference wien one has
been brought in contac' with the real thing.
You can call me Gentleman Joe, an pleasure,
but not as meaning to imply that :here ID any
in this room not such, though, maybe. not one
Of you has seen belted hurl give your father
one in tho short ribs and holler out, You're
deep old scoundrel, Smith, and one as knows
how many beans makes 6ve!'"
Welstead's face at the idea of his equity gov
,ernor receiving such an attention at the hands
of nobility was so ludicrous that we all burst
into roar of laughter, which ended the first
aud last attempt to take rise out OF our bu-
collie companion. It is true that his life was
spent under continual shower of small jokes
and claf, and that his new name superseded
his old one, but thcrs was a massive simplicity
about tho man, and o marvellous power OF con-
verting the most unpromising remarks into
compliments, which rendered him very dis
concerning individual to attack. Allusions to
his hat, necktie, any other popularity of raj
ment were met by his eternal horse laugh, and an
earnest recommendation that we should allow
him TO- send down to tho country and procure
got nothin' spicy in Birchespool," be would re-
mark. "Lord, know placs at 'oms where
you can get your collars spotted over with fox's
7eaos instosd Of benz plain white, which
is poor color at the best" I think he
imagined it was nothing but want of money
which induced us to refuse TO purchase these
and o,her luxurIes, and he was wont to throw
out illusions IS to t's not costing US nothing"
while he jugled the loose coins in his trouser
pockets
Town life did not improve Joseph. On the
contrary, he doteriorated. During the first SIX
months that he honored the Office with hi.
presence, he not only lost none Of the traits
which he had brought with him from his faith
er's stables, but he grated upon them every
thing which is Objectionable in tho city snob
The premonitoly symptoms were suspicious
waxiness Of the half-dozen hairs which adorned
his upper lip, and the appearance Of II large
diamond ring with greenish and vi'reous hue
ATS next venture was an eye-glass; and he
finally launched forth into o light ulster, dec
Grated with large black check, which gave
him the appearance of being inside cage
with ha head projecting ut one end and his
feet at the otuer. sIt's a proper thing for
gent to wear" he remarked. "When you see
get up like this you know at q glance who's o
cad and who ain'l"-a sentiment which We all
very cordially endorsed
In splte Of all these peculiarties we learned
not only to tolerate til. gentleman, but even to
like him. Indeed, we hardly knew how strong
this feeling was until he betook himself Into tho
country on fur;night's leave. carrying with
him ulstor, eye-g ass. ring, and everything o.se
which was calculated to impress the rnsics aud
stamp him rs the natural associate OF the
'sb ltcd hurl" Ho left quite vacancy behind
him. There was dead level of equality about
the five Of us which deprived life of all its
piquancy. Even Welstead, who had disiked
him from the first, was fuin to confess that he
was good fun, and that llo wished him back.
After all if his laugh was obtrusive, it was
hearty, aud his quaint, vulgar face had stu
cerity AID good nature stamped upon every