Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-12-07
QUIPs.


be spoken of as 1.-the power behind tn
thrown"
In the days of Pharaoh "the darkness
that might be fclt' was probably
slouch hat
| If those who make up theater partie
were real polite they would allow tn
persons on the stage to do. the talking
The thief who stole watch at a pull
lie meeting excused himself on the pie
that he was only taking minutes Of tn
affair"
A young lady, who has probably ha,
reason to doubt the veracity of TIN
male biped, says batches OF lies are onl,
equaled by lies of patches.
Mrs. Malaprop says that the increas,
OF morality from Egyptian cholera is s,
great that it is high time for the doctor.
to find an anecdote against it.
One of the symptoms of exhaustion
from overwork is loss of memory. A
st. Louis drummer claimed that he was
worked too hard, and in order to prove
it cited an instance of having forgotten
to take drink before breakfast one
morning.
a tramp reached into the pantry win
dow of an Out-Of-tOwn house the other
night and tried to steal pound of but
ter, but it was so strong it drew him in
and whistled for the dog. The tramr
VOWS that he will never tackle anv more
country butter.
In Il triangular fight at Chicago this
week, one man was knocked down nine
times, and another six, by the muscular
antagonist who had undertaken to whip
them both. They must have fancied
that they were knocked into the middle
of next week-it was so very like a
knocked-ober day.
There is an old family custom in
Switzerland, hallowed by centuries.
which allays irritation in the heart
forthwith, maintaining peace there-a
custom blessed by God, and more likely
than any other to keepa family together.
The last to 90 to bed, whether husband
or wife, recites aloud the Lords PRAYER.
"Does goose lay eggs?' inquired
Rollo, one brisk morning in breezy
March. And Rollo's father, sitting be-
hind the stove, eating quinine with a
spoon, and trying to shake his whole
skeleton out of his pockets, made re-
ply: eyes, my son, ague slays every
thing. 1t has Siain your father"
Native Ito visitor from the South
"Ah, you've donned the kilt. Quite
killing, l declare! But why do you
wear the Macdonald tartan when your
name is Thompson?' Little r. (who
has been getting a good deal Of chaffo ::
"Fr Il good reason-cause l paid for
it. Retires in huff
A poem going the rounds begins with
the assertion that "the golden rod is yell
low" OF course it is. 1t wouldn't be
golden if it were blue. The poem
hrther says 1.-the com is turning brown. 4"
But it doesn't say whether Brown trod
on the corn. We know some men who
turn when their corns are trodden on.
Who held the pass of Thermopyl@
against the Persian host?" demanded
the teacher. And the editors boy at
the foot of the class spoke up and
said: "Father, reckon; he holds an
annual on every road in the country
that runs passenger train" He went
up head-after the rest of the class went
home. -
"What makes you think your father
was crazy at the time of executing his
last testament" asked the Judge of a
witness in a Contested will case. sBe-
cause, answered the young man,
promptly, "my father was a dyed-in-
the-wool Democrat, and he was always
talking about the necessity Of running
the 'old ticket again"
A small boy will dance on chestnut
burrs and broken bottles and run airily
over wheat-field just after the wheat
has been cut, and think nothing of it;
but let the point of nail work up lit
tie way through the heel of his shoe and
he h0wls and limps and thinks it is
sufficient cause for him to remain away
from school.
go Grannie, Grannie!' exclaimed a
Brooklyn boy, glancing up from the
paper which he was reading. Java mas
been visited by shower of fire" !"
"Dear me-" returned the old lady, not
exactly catching the full import OF the
communication, "dear me, you don't
tell me SO? Well, thought the coffee
this morning tasted little burnt"
A lady stood patiently before the re-
ceiving teller's window in bank the
other day, but no one took any notice
of her till she attracted the attention of
the money-taker by tapping with her
parasol on the glass. "Why don't you
pay attention to me?" she asked, pet
ulantly. al am sorry, Fam, but We
don't pay anything here; next window
please" was the polite response.
A fond Cincinnati father tells of his
four-year-old boy who was presented
with trumpet, with which he was
greatly infatuated. All day the boy
footed away delightedly, and at bed
time when his grandmother told him to
put the trumpet down and say his
prayers, the little fellow said: "Oh, no
I'll tell you what let's do, gryn'ma you
pray and I'll keep on blowing.
A gentleman was riding with lady
in an open carriage, call OF a summers
day." and acknowledgements arms
! are such awkward things are ever IL