The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-03-08
"Great ScOtt.o

The other morning, whllo the urbane
manager OF WoodWnrd's Gardens was
smoking four bit cigar and medltatlvely
listening to the muflcd walls of TOM cat
that had just been swallowed alive by the
big anaconda, tall, thin. sclentifc-look.
ing man. with gOatee and blue glasses,
entered the gate and remarked in an In
sinuating manner:
"Of course you pass the scientific frater.
| nity9"
"Of eoYrse we do not, said the show man
"What, not the savans. not the pioneers
| III the great march of tho mind into the
hitherland of the Infinite beyond ?" re-
turned the Professor. with great surprise.
IL will not deceive you," sercastically
replied the proprietor Of the only saIaman-
der; 1--WE pass nothing but the au;lls on
the trettul porcupines-I mean the press.
You can't see the ostrldges unless you
come down and put up"
"Dear me. dear ME !" sighed the scen-
tist reiectlvely. "ro think that a profes
sor of cosmogrephic conchology should be
denied admittance to a third-class q I,ui
Has the skamgatibus been fed yet /"
"Skam--which 2" asked the tiger i'm.
porter.
'""rhe skamgatlbus. You've got one,
haven't you2"
"Y-e-s.s; believe we've a small fe-
male somewhercs, said the grizzly friend
doubtfully.
"Inever kuow first.class collection to
have less than two pair, !" said the Profes.
sor c'ntemptuousy. "How do your All
mu,hs stand this cold weather, eh2ntA ,
''Azlmuths ~ asked tho Napoleon ag-
grcgator of curlosities: :.., ,.'what's thom3
sorle new kind of bird-you don't mean
ostri i-2" $3.50. p"
"ostridges DO hangedl, ,said,the success.
sor OF Darwin; "ostridges are nothing.
I've shot more ostridges with quail shot
than you've got hairs on your head. You
don't actually mean to sit there and toll
me yon haven't got single azimuth to
your back 2"
Don't believe have" admitted tho
alligator breeder, mortified; "what ale
they like ?" ..-I -.
"On, they're of the order Spinalls spic~
motis, about eight feet hgn. Fur peels
off IN the spring, you know tho Siberian
| species. mean suppose you've got one
OF those rectangular African flipgoohlies
that reached Now York tho othor dav 2"
"No; I'm darned If I did," said the
much agitated Snowman. ''f[ere I've
been keeping al agent in New York on
big salary to look out for attractions. and
he doesn't catch on to the first blamed
thing. spends all our money on second.
hand panthers. and. kangaroos with the
rhcumatlcs. I'll bounce him by telegraph"
"Haven't even got a flipgoohly, eh3"
mused tho scientist, In tone OF great piiy,
''And shouldn't be surprised If you didn't
have a golden-crested cuspidor In your
whole show &.f 81
| & Neither | have neither I have" re
piled the wIctchcd promoter of pelcans,
In a tone of great bitterness. '.S'pose YOU
just step in, Sir, and look round mebbe
lhere's something else you could say
"N-n-,, | guess not, said The tall man.
"lt would hardly pay me to spend 30
much valuable aclenLlfc time In a. fourth.
class show like tAly. Not even on azl-
n,uth, el2 should think you'd be afraid
OF being actually mobbed some time. I'm
sorry for you, my good man: sorryj for
y9u. I've no doubt you mean well, but
mot a solitary akamgatlbus3 Great Scottlo
If wishbones were horses then tur.