Connecticut western news., 1883-01-10

quilt little; then she felt its emptiness. "Lord a massy where's the baby gone to?"
 They both looked back and then saw @ crowd of boys swarming at the end of the wagon, and in their midst happy, dusty baby, delighted with the situation. It didn't take them long to recover the youngster, and, wrapping it more se- curely in its patchwork, they logged on again. n.-Detroit Free Press. | BR1DEaRooM's MISTAKE.
 The Fall River NeUs tells this story: Within few weeks young man we'll known in this city, was married to the lady of his choice. He loved her dearly, and determined to pay the minister lib erally for the service that united two hearts that beat as one. When he put on his wedding clothes, he counted out one roll of bills for tke minister and another to pay the expenses of the we'd ding trip. After the ceremony he thanked the good clergyman in fitting terms and handed him a roll of bills, but, alas, the wrong roll. The minister, on his return to his home, was surprised at the munifcence of his fee, but, "for- tunately, being an honest man," he hastened to the depot, and succeeded in arriving there before the train with the young couple left, exchanged the we'd ding trip money for the intended fee, and received the thanks of confused but pratefnl husband THE BULLETS.
 "5hay, officer, what want to know is where are the bullets ?" asked a we'll dressed young man in Union square, New York, not long since.
 "Ah, go on; gp on, said the police man.
 "No, shir; I will not go on. In fact, mosht respectfully refuse to go on until yo repiy to my question. What becom-s of the bullets? old fel; that's what want to know"
 "What in thunder are you talking about ?"
 "That's not respectful manner of treating citizen, but I'll over ook it, old fei, this time. I want to know you shee every New Years night or mornin' everybody blows horn, rings bell, or fires 9 pish-pish-rewolve& Now, what want to know is, What be- comes of the bullets They go up in the air, don't they, and they must come down mi sn't they ?" CURE FOR THE STAGE STRUCK.  "Have you ever any odd applications for places in your company MT. Backus ?" asked the reporter of the famous come dian, now turning gray, but still humor- ous as ever.
 1T have" he replied.
 'Will you describe itP"
 ssAn aristocratic lady in coach drawn by blooded horses drove up in front of my theatre one day. She lived in Fifth avenue, and was very wealthy. She in quired for my office, and then went UP to it. I said Good day, madame. She said, 'Good-day, MT. Backus, I've come to see you about my son, our only child. We don't know what to do with him. He gets drunk, comes home and kicks in the doors, fights roosters, goes torst- | pits and to see pugilists fight. Now hefor- gets his fathers name. We don't care what becomes of him, so l guess we'll have him to join your company.
 "Well, madame" said Mr. Baokus. CT would advise you to take him to Harry Hills, to race courses, to the Madison Square Garden, to Saratoga and Boston. Show him the Bunker Hill Monument. Take him to the top of the monument"
 "Well, Mr. Backus, and what shall l do | with him then?"
 "Throw him off."-M r. Journal. TEXAS SETTINGS. MRS. IANaTRY is described to be well-built woman. The inference isthat she has an alabaster neck, marble brow and an arch expression.
 WHEN you read in the newspapers that a politician is brilliant and cratic, it means that he can't let whisky alone.
 THE great dome of the Capitol at Washington is being painted. The whitewashing is done underneath, on the first floor, by the committees appointed for that purpose.
 A NEW YORK divorce lawyers adver- tisement reads: "Hymenial incompati- bilities, as speciality, carefully adjusted. 'Tis slavery to detain the hand after the heart hath fed"
 | A SILK blanket for New York poodle costs $16 There seems to be no store in New York where the owner of the poodle can buy few ounces of bralns for his own private use. | GREAT things are expected from the newly elected officials all over tL coun- try, but the general experience of the people is similar to that of the lady who paid $5 dozen for Cochin China eggs, but when she came to look into the nest. she discovered that they had matched out Muscovy ducks.
 A SICK man was advised to go to a doctor for advice. The doctor happened to be a very thin, spare man, so when the invalid saw him, he refused to take any advice from him, remarking "Why you look to be confounded sight worse than am."
 A TEXAS editor, an entire page of whose paper was taken up with the ad- vertisement of msrriage aid associa- tion, for which he never received a cent, says he did not mind losing the money but the statement of the assignee that