National Republican., 1883-01-24

WIN ihuhg u mum uHu uWluA 1uNls
AS the faithful dog ran of in pain
The old man sang this song:
"rm busted and broke I'm out of luck;
For the dogs back teeth are gone"
WASHINGTON, Jan. 23 1883.
THE worst kind of forgery is false notes by
a singer.
ELIZABETH CADY STANTON advises bill
iards for girls.
THE builders of the new law courts in Lon
don, Eng, failed recently.
AT Barnum's winter quarters there is
bnby kangaroo fortnight old
TOMATOES fresh from the vines, are now
sold on the streets of Tampa, Fla
New ORLEANS is preparing truly for a
grand season of carnival festivities,
If there is dinner enough there is no reason
why thirteen persons should not sit at table.
AN English neighbor invests largely in
porcelain eggs. He says they hencourage his pou.
try.
They say you can't freeze n cat. But then
you can try the other extreme, and mako 1t hot
for him.
A FRENcHwoMAN would sooner wear q
clean petticoat and smart pair of boots than u
gay gown.
services for the benefit Of tho Order Of Elks, of
Philadelphia.
FAwN colored silk stockings, worn with
slippers of dark red kid or velvet are the aflecta-
ton of the moment.
| In some cities the policemen give an alarm
by rapping on tho pavement When ho isn't
walking his beat he is beating his walk
| HANDSOME tides are placed on satin-cov-
cred sofas not so much rs II guarantee of good
faith as to cover up the spot that is worn through.
AIKEN, S. c. had fashionable fox huut on
Monday, which was attended by hundred ladies
aud gentlemen, The fox was caught in forty min
utes.
"YoU are always prying into otherpeople's
business" said the policeman to the burglar who
was endeavoring to open jewelry store with a
jimmy.
YALE college talks of adopting n new yell.
Anybody knowing of any such article, partIcu-
larly horrible will please forward diagram. State
price wanted
II is related as a singular fact that fat men
never commit crime. 1t doesn't seem 30 when
you reflect that 1t is difficult for q fat to stoop
to anything low,
WHILE William Cable q deaf man, was
walking on the Reading railway track, near Lees
port, Monday morning-but why pursue the pain
ful subject further.
PATTI says that while in bed at her hotel
she was bitten by mouse Perhaps 1t was not
mouse. She should try rubbing the woodwork OF
her couch with kerosene.
WHEN you see sour faced woman sitting
ashes her sidewalk, 1t is difficult to tell whether
she loves the human race or hates the new carpet
of her next door neighbor.
A DIsoRDERLY fellow hauled up in the
police court yesterday told the judge, on being
sentenced that he was as bad as the detectives"
This was rather rough on the judge.
BISMARCK doesn't take much stock in Ger
mans who return to Fatherland after they have
been naturalized In the United States. Neither
} are they apt to take much stock in Bismarck.
A coMPosIToR who was puzzling over one
of Horace Greeey's manuscripts, sagely and
savagely Observed "If Belshazzar had seen this
, handwriting on the wall he would have been
more terrified than he was"
Miss JENNIE FLOOD of the Pacific coast,
has S2,5OO0OO in per cents. 1t is little strange
that some Pacific coast youth has not yet learned
that "there is tide in the affairs of men, which,
taken at the Flood, leads on to fortune"
The young girls who enter tho English
postal service get $3.50 per week at first If they
are real good girls after few years they get fifty
cents or 81 more. Many of them remain SINGLE
because the salary is not large enough to support
u husband
HORSE habitually walks into saloons at
Fort Wayne, Tex stands up ut the bar like man,
and drinks glass after glass of beer long as the
bystanders will pay for them. He closes his lips
over the top of the umbler, lifts his head and the
! beverag egurges down.
r II girl wants to be romantic, the proper
: way Is to send up toy balloon with card a-
tached, asking the finder to correspond with her.
Michigan girl tried 1t, and got letter from her
: brother in Indiana, who found the balloon and
c told her not to be fool.
! A RELIABLE coptraband: "Here, Sam, is q
=. note want you TO hand to Mrs. Eaton Mabeley,
. when you are sure nobody is looking" said an
: Austin society man TO Sam Johnsng, colorcd.
Eyes, sab" answered Sam, showing his ivories.
@ "And mind, don't you whisper u word to living
}, soul" "Hou may jess rest easy about dat or,
i boss. Yesterday fotched dat same woman q let
ter from Col. Percy Yerger. You can jess rest
: easy about my openin' my mouf'-Teras SUtings.
i, JEALOUSY is the same all over the world
z, This is how 1t works in Germany: young lady
n In Breslau, Prussia who was engaged to a young
: merchant one day received an invitation, signed
o with the name of her lovers sister, with whom
IS she was not acquainted, to meet her at hotel on
e q certain hour Having arrived, she was very
II amlaby received by her future sister in-law, who
y offered her glass Of wine, of which she partook
@ however, only mouthful. Hardly had she re-
y turned to her home when she became i'll, and q
10 physician who was quickly summoned stated thai
she had taken poison, ana with difficulty saved
her life The young lady at the hotel was ut once
- suspected, and on investigation 1t was shown thai
she was not the sister of the poisoned girls lover
y but young widow whose jealousy had prompted
~ her to this deed. She had taken the poisoned
% wine to the hotel having ordered nothing there
70 but a cup of coffee. on hearing of the failure
= her plot and her detection, she was prostrated b!
4. paralysis of the heart
s. Two of the most striking instances Of thu
a. stage-slruck craze are to be found in Frederick
Pauldng and Sgsmund Caufman, young New
Workers of wealth. The journal tells the,sory o
their fatal delusion aud failure, as follows Paul
no ding is the son of rich mother, He persuaded
her that he was born to be great actor, and she
though resisting his eutreaties, finally gave way
lt and young Paulding spent on his teachers SOM
at S8OOO Then he hired n theater and made hi
re debut as Hamlet, and went on the road This wa
he kept up with occasional protests from the mother
or for three years. The last heard of PGulding wa
as somewhere down south, sick and alone and des
nj pairing Then he was ordered to Florida for hi
es health and his dramatic career came TO a sudde
~ end Yet there was something In Paulding. III
W experiment cost his mother something like $40 00C
~ And It all came 10 his having a resemblance {
~ Edwin Booth. Caufmau was young Germal
~ who felt certain he could do better as an acto
than most Americans. He learned English an