Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-02-02

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much
"Wfe,' said l. very quietly, but decidedly
''after to-day II shall eat with us at our table
It is old enough now with its two years"
From that time on, 'It' ate with us. He
sat there in his high chair like prince, close
to my wife-both opposite me, like declared
enemies, as it were. The yellowish paleness
of poverty had yielded to an aristocratic pink
in his little cheeks, which, now become quite
chubby, sat comfortably on the stiff folds of
the napkin. 1t worked powerfully at its soup
aud, after it had finished, set up the spoon
like a sceptre in its little round fist the Ia
ble My wife and / had exchanged few
words but now we sat silent. Apparently on
account of this silence, its large eyes opened
wider and wider. They stared at me, stared
at my wife, with a surprised, almost frighten
ed expression, as if they had presenument
that all was not right between us. l confess
that those eyes embarrassed me, and that l
experienced a feeling of relief when Frede-
rick entered with a dish. And l think my
wife felt the same.
And on the following days there were the
same large, wondering eyes, like an appeal
ing question, staring into the pauses of our
conversation. 1t sounds ridiculous but it
was nevertheless true; we were culprits be-
fore the child-we two grown persons And
by degrees our conversation became more an
mated. The occasional prattlings of the lit
tie one were noticed and spoken about; in
deed sometimes there was mutual laughter at
his attempts TO speak.
All! how swest, how bell-like pure, sounded
her laughter Had l, then. never heard it
before? And what was the matter with me
that l sometimes bent over my writing-desk
listening, as though heard from the distance
| these same silvery tones
With the first sunny sDrinp dav NTLn bepan
to play in the garden, which I could overlook
| from my seat in my office. She was general
| ly with him. l could hear the sound of his
| little feet on the pebbles, and then her foot
steps. Now she would playfully chase him,
and chorus of twittering sparrows would
| join in their notes with the merry laughter.
| Now she would catch him and kiss his cheeks
over and over. Once opened my window
a warm balsamic air streamed around me, and
a butterfly futtered in and lit on my inkstand.
Just then my wife came out of a green, vine
grown bower she was dressed in a dazzling
white neglige trimmed with costly lace over
| her streamed the golden sunshine, but her face
was shaded by pink parasol
How slender she was how graceful in her
| movements Had been blind? Truly the
aunts and cousins were right she was very
beautiful. A sweet smile transformed her
features she was happy-and her happiness
came from the child. Then voice made it
self heard in my breast, saying very plainly,
you are monster" got up and walked
to the window. ITS beautiful day, call
ed to my wife. l know how cold and prosaic
it must have sounded to her 1t came like a
heavy cloud shadow over the sunny landscape
She answered something that did not under
stand but the brightness was gone from her
little face. Then she took up the child, who
was stretching out his arms to her. and kissed
and caressed him before my eyes.
Then it was that feeling of jealouSy was
aroused in me. 1t was jealousy, truly; but
what a strange jealousy, which could not
make clear to itself who was its object If
IT. said mamma there came pain to my
heart and the csresses with which she over
whelmed him almost drove me wild. l was
jealous of both 1t panied me that had no
part in this weaving of love; that l was not
the third in the union. l exerted myself to
gain part of their love, but l did it very
clumsily. The child preserved certain shy
ness; and she-had l not kept myself forci-
bly, away from her during all these long, long
years
One day at the dinner-table, after skir-
mish of words, came a great stiffness between
us-a stiffness more painful than any previous
one had been. looked down at the flowers
on my plate of Saxon porcelain, but ! felt
that my displeasure was plainly to be seen in
my face, and knew that the eyes of TT and
also of my wife were upon me. 1t was rs if
those four eyes burned into my forehead
Then sounded suddenly in the Stiffness
Papa :" and again, louder and more courage
ously, Papa" l shuddered. 1T" sat there
and stared at me, now very much frightened,
wondering, perhaps, whether storm would
be raised by its papa" My wife's face was
sdfused with glowing redness, and her half
! On. 1ir,.t tr..y Id
A food of gladness came over my heart.
Certainly no one but she had taught him to
say papa" Why did not spring up, bound
towards her, and with one word, one embrace,
strike out the loneliness of these last six
years? One word at this moment and all
would have been well. But it remained un-
spoken. | seemed to have lost all power to
act; but on a certain page of my ledger are
still to be seen traces of the tears l shed in
anger at my own stupidity
There was no doubt about it, another spirit
had stepped in with this little curly head-the
spirit of love; and it made me stranger in
my own house. precious sunshine bright
ened our rooms, even when the sun in the
sky was concealed by clouds. The servants
faces and even inanimate objects reflected
this radiance me, only, this sunshine did moi
touch.
grew more and more unhappy in my lone
liness Jealousy grew in me it gave me al
sorts of foolish fsncies. 1 wanted to rebel
against the little autocrat; that would be ridic
uous. wanted to give her the choice be
tween him and me. l, audacious one, knew
very well which side her heart would choose
At another time l was ready to take any stepI
in order to find the mother, and, with thu
power of gold, force her to take back he
child-behind my wife's back? That woulC
be cowardly.
could no longer fix my mind on business
mistrusted even myself. People inquired
what was the matter with me. l feigned ill
ness.
The sunshine would not let itself be ban
ished the spirit of love was stronger than
With his flaming sword he drove me out.
81 must take IA long journey, Martha"
said to my wife one day.
My voice trembled as l spoke and she mus
have noticed it, for something like pity looked
out from her beautiful eyes At my takinl
leave she held the little one toward me, say
ing in soft, caressing tones
"Will you not say adieu to our child?"
1 took up the little one, perhaps too rough
ly; at all events he began to cry and resis
my caresses. So put him down and has
p tened away,
1 travelled in uncertainty through the world
aud behold after the first few days, in add
!
3 bad humor-there came another fellow, VIII
told me plainly that was fool, First
was like whisper, but it grew louder an
a louder: ''You are downright fool" Fl
+ nally read it in the newspaper before me
t it was traced on the blue mountains; the Il
comotive shreked it to me. began to be
Q lieve it. Why did l not then and there tur
T my face homeward2 ? Well, the fool must fir
= travel it all off before everything would b
- right again.
S At last, one day, with violent beating {
l the heart, again entered my dwelling. Whit
. a solemn stiffness reigned there! could no
0 hear the sound of whispering voices. NJ
| wife came towards me.
It "It is sick, very sick" she moanedi g
? will surely die!"
tried to comfort her Only a short tim
Q however, proved that her fears were but tC
d well grounded, During the last night v
10 both sat by the little bed, each holding one
70 those little hands All those feverish pulls
beats every stroke sounded like an appea
II Love each other! love each other be good
1t We felt eventually these throbbings, and v
understood the appeal Our eyes met, II
ID and earnest, through the glittering tears, as
a first holy vow. Words would have seem'