davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05
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Entered at postofiice at San Antsnio, Texas,
as secOnd-class matter.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

A fine ranch, 700 acres, newly fenced, mes
quite grass, unfaing water from creek and
springs, 10 miles from city. Also one half or
whole interest in boarding house, 40 boarders,
also family rockaway. Wanted-houses, rooms,
lots, also employment for gardeners, coopers,
mill hands, clerks, artisans, labOrers, servants,
etc, by the Texas General Agency, 20 Main
nlazg IN Ifltt
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

In THE call for the extra session o. the
Legislature the Governor recommends re-
duction Of taxes. 1t probably never occurred
to him that great reduction of taxes could
be made II the Legislature did not meet.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

THE provisions Of the Edmunds law ought
to be explained to that Collin county man,
Lively, by name, who was arrested at Fort
Worth for bigamy. He only has four wives
and the back counties are yet to be heard
from.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

INTERIOR papers report that the cotton crop
spanning out much better than was antici-
pated month ago, and that most every farmer
is making more cotton than he had counted
on. A great country is Texas, and almost
without the traditional seed time or harvest
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

From torpidity of the liver or constipation Of
the bowels, try a bottle of Hepatizine, Dr.
Tobin's great liver medicine. Every bottle
Is guaranteed TO you, and your money refunded
II you are not satisfied.
For sale at Clavin's drug store, and by G..
SChaggp. 3-2l-bm
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

THE Democrats are in a queer muddle over
the tariff, and will have to invent some new
clarifying process to settle the question they
have muddled and muddied by explanations.
They are playing hands in the game of "con-
fusion worse confounded."
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

New art gallery, 23l Houston street, the finest
OF Photographs at reduced rates. Cards, 81;
ana cabinets IS per dozen. Satisfaction guar
enteed or money refunded l0-4-tf
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

GENERAL CAssIUs NJ. CLAY, Of Kentucky,
gives it as his opinion that the Republicans
must 20, but that a Confederate Democrat
cannot be elected President and he therefore
dominates Hoadley, OF Ohio.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

WHEN Mr.. Oehiltree obtains an appropria-
ton for the improvement of the harbor of
Arkansas Pass the Gulf Coast railroad will be
ready for another boom.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

ENGINEER BRIrToN reports that the road
bed, track, and bridges on the International
and Great No'thern are in excellent condition
and with proper motive power could safely
make 80 miles an hour as easily as to make
three.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

THAT expression get thee to a nunnery," is
not such bad advice as one would suppose,
when we take into consideration the fact that
three nuns Of Cleveland have recently skipped
with 500, 600 belonging to a charity hospital
Of the order.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

DISCUSSING the extreme frank opinions of
Senator Coke, as expressed through the me-
dium Of a recent interview, the Chicago Times
observes; "The Texas Statesman, on the
other hand, is a statesman whose idea upon
almost any public question is ascertainable.
He is no trimmer. He knows, or thinks he
knows. what he thinks, and does not hesitate
to proclaim it. He is party man, OF course;
he has not a doubt that the combination Of
old-time prejudices and medieval stupidity,
called the Democratic party, is and always
has been the embodiment Of all the political
wisdom, goodness, virtue and honesty there is
in the world, and that at some period in the
impenetrable future those who swear by it
will gain the reward Of Offices they hope for.
But he is not, like his party congener in Ohio
and Pennsylvania, partisan who, when
political question is propounded to him, looks
wise and closes slowly his sinister optic with
an expression which says: Policy, my boyl
We will consider it after the election!' Liv-
ing in a remote part Of the country, in more
or less contact with the honest simplicity OF
nature, he appears like man who has BAN
boozled himself into the strange notion that
public questions are in some way related to
popular elections"
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

THE Public has the following regarding the
monetary situation Of the country: perhaps
certain proper deductions from the figures Of
the Director Of the Mint might reduce the aR-
gregate amount Of money 10 the country out
side the Treasury and the banks to I,o6o,-
600. 600. But even this is a fearful sum Of
money for nation Of 100000 Of inhabi-
tants to use in making its exchanges. There
can be no doubt, we think, that monetary ia
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05
PUBLISHED DAILY tExCEPT SUNDAY Al
80 EAST COMMERCE STREET.

DELIvERED by carriers throughout the city
II at 10 Cents Per Week, payable 20 our
agent. Single copies for sale by nowsboys At
Scents.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

MRS. BELvA LOCKWOOD denies that she
has been disbarred from praeticing before the
pension office, but she thinks it would be
more honorable to suffer suspension and dis
barment than to practice before it under the
present regime, and suffer the indignities, the
espionage, and the suspicious that are melted
out to the attorneys practiciug before it.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

THE Democrats evidently look upon Ben
Butler as did the negro, who was holding a
hog by the head, upon the cross-eyed white
man, who stood by with his axe uplited to
knock the hog in the head. "Look here. Mr..
Johnson, is you going to hit whar yours look
mgr eyes, the very spot" "Then I amt
going to hold this here hog, for if you hits
whor you looks, you ill hit me right between
the eyes" Democrats cannot tell where Ben
means to hit.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

GALVESTON being the chief city Of the en-
tire coast line, and controlling much Of the
trade Of the interior, should naturally receive
all the influence possible in her efforts to OBJ
tain public aid in improving the harbor, and
it is no exaggeration 10 say that every good
citizen Of Texas is anxious to see the work
accomplished that will give her deep water,
and thereby add to her trade and her growth.
The following from the ST. Louis Globe
Democrat on the subject is most sensible;
"The people Of Galveston are naturally am
bilious to make their city great seaport and
Congress will have to listen to their represen-
tations. A few hundred thousand dollars
saved from trout brooks and creeks may well
be devoted to making the harbor of Calves
ton deep and safe. Millions have been spent
in improving the approaches from the sea TO
Boston, New York, Philadelphia and Balt-
more, while south Of Norfolk the only first
class harbor on our seaboard is that Of New
Orleans. Texas is vast and a growing
State, and the commercial importance Of
Galveston is certain to increase. Less can
be said of some other places on the Gulf Of
Mexico, where a good deal of money has been
expended"
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05

O THE ascendancy Of the Bourbon Demo-
Gratis in the South has been prodigious dis
aster to material progress and the growth Of
civilization. Political intolerance and perse-
cution, for opinions sake have weighed upon
the South like a nightmare and have not quite
yet disappeared. To be Republican in the
South demands no small amount Of backbone
and 6rmness of purpose and to be an indie
pendent-that is, to pretend to do ones own
thinking, is regarded as something dreadful
and shocking enough to bring down upon the
country shower Of "gorgons, hydras, and
chimeras dire" But this political intolerance
cannot last much longer. The human mind
is bound to have elbow room and to enjoy
freedom Of thought. Texas is filling up with
such a varied and diverse population as to
endanger the continued reign OF the machine
politicians" and we look to see the indepen-
dent and progressive voters assume the con-
troll and management Of the State at no dis
tant day. The sooner the better.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05
MONDAY. NOVEMBER .. 1888.

Entered at postomce at San Antsnio, Texas,
! secOnd-cass matter,
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-05
MARVEL OF EUROPE in AMERICA.

Southern Pass. Agt. IS wan 81. Allanin. q,
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22
Don't scold

IF only had the command of lar- guage l could write something worthy of general acceptation,' said a young man to his literary father. It may be neees- say to say that his literary father was the only available father he had jus, a, tha, time, "l have noticed many writers. and lt IS their multiplicity of expression that impar,s the glow ot merit That's where you're wrong" the literary father replied. "The trouble with you is. you've got too much of . command of language. If you only had half as many words, you could do better. Once a young fellow had two suits of clothes mot you, for I know you never had two suits. He wanted to go to the opera and he didn't know winch suit to wear. Unable to decide. he finally put on both suits and looked like toad. If he hadn't owned but one suit he would have had no trouble in decid- ing. Too many words are dangerous. See this hole in my head. Caused by using too many words. Fellow told me to hush and didn't hush o4 demand"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

THE school-book makers h ave taken down the picture of the good boy that sat on high stool and leaned on his desk with such an air oi absorption and sick illness of countenance. For many years he kept his place, an example to all boys who desired to please their parents and become famous in after life as bill col lectors. The good boy of Sunday school literature is likely to remain for several years longer, but the good boy of every. day school life IS doomed. The sc cholsrs have found him to be sneak and a ta.- tier. His attempts at moral lecture. at the most inappropriate times. have lessened the esteem in which he was formerly held. He grows up to be a hypocrite. just be- cause he was spoiled at school. His teachers tried to make moral guide Of him, precept of decorum. This spoiled him. for after he attained manhood, he expected to occupy the same position. The youth of the land will not grieve at parting from him.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22
4 Nov know you must be crazy.n

NOV l knoW you must DC cfazy.
 "I may be ignorant man but I'm not crazy. Them preachers that come with you last night said that you was the rich est man in the country, and that if would do what did do you would give me shot bag of gold. He's the funni- est man you ever saw,' said one of the preachers to me, an he will pretend to be mad, but keep on and he will set you up in business. thought he was goin' to kill a feller at hotel the other night, but the next mornin' he piled the gold before him till he couldn't rest. He's about half crazy,' said the preachers, and if he wants to give his money away, why you'd just as well take it It's curious, but he won't give it to nobody but hotel men,"
 The preacher looked at the weak minded fellow moment and then turn ing abruptly, walked away, so absorbed in thought that he forgot to pay his bill. The hotel man waited long time for the curious man to come back with the gold, but he finally concluded that the cratic stranger did not intend to return.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

Tnf Washington Capital says tha, a }oke was recently played on Senator G ir- land, oi Arkan saw that the senator ate d piece of soap ingeniously prepared for h'm by tranking contemporary He did no, change countenance, according 10 the newspaper account. but swallowed his soap as though he had taken the oath of office for ,ha, purpose. Now, il, may no, be out of order to say that Mir. Garland will swallow anything for the gosd of his country. If 1t were necessary for the welfare of this vast republic for Garland to swallow a dose of "dubbin." :" he would swallow it. Some people may not know what "dubbin is. but Gar land knows Dubbin is a mixture of tallow and train oil. It is used in the country for greasing shoes. Mir. Garland, of Arkansaw. has ever been found equal ,o an emergency. He can argue a con s,itu,ional question with any one, and he can swallow soap with the president ot ,he | nl,ed States. by George.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22
Not Afraid to Die.
Merchant Tray eler.

An old man was fast going ,o h., ' windowless palace of resi,r and the minister. with a number of friends, stooc by his bedside.
 !" Do you know me- asked the mn s- ter gently.
 Oh. yes, know yor all
 Do you feel that you are sinking = Yes. sir: I'm not long for life on ,hs side the river"
 You realize, then. your situation r Perfectly, sir
 = And are you afraid to die = '' Not bi', sir"
 '- You are brave man."
 think am. sir: was married ;oa~ times'
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

CONGRESSMAN FINNERTS wants the United States to fight England on ac- count of the O'Donnell matter. Oh. cer- tainly. Murderers are worth so much now Le, Mir. Finnerty buckle on his armor. The country can afford to see him fight. In the meantime let the gen. ,leman remember that the congress of the nited States IS not altogether an Irish affair.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

AN Enghshman. writing 60 the PaX .HlH Gasetie. says: '' am glad to see that the humorous papers of America are becoming more refined. Humor in America has ever been striking. but the absence of finish has been. to lovers of good literature. source of regret" Yes, sir. yes. The humorous papers of Amer ica are quite as refined as those of the great Englsh metropolis. THh ARKAN- SAM TRAvElER is published away down in the squatter state, but if you can ind anything in 1t that would shock the queen, please let us know by return mail Our stuff" may bore the estimable lady, but it will not shock her. Refined humorous papers. Why. you blessed fool of attempted mirth, do you think that the Americans only find amusement in shocking people Do you take this for a nation of galvanic batteries? Do you think that ours is country of cleo tric cells: Your own dear London pa- pers are be6tting models of responsibility and dullness.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22
MARRIED TWICE.

Hello. Abe" called an acquaintance. :" understand that you did no, marry Miss agle."
 No, didn't marry her"
 "What was the trouble F'
 We'll, you see, the old man was too exacting. 1 staid all night there several times and every morning the old man made me get up and build the fire. All this time the girl that was going to marry lay in bed. couldn't sand any hing of tha, kind. for you know have been married twice already"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

"Hou have killed my horse" exclaimed an Arkansaw man to an equine phy- sician." "Ies, sir, have killed him. " And l demand one hundred dollars damages" What for.' "You said that you would cure my horse. ''Oh, ycs, and have. have killed the dis ease and cured the horse. 1.-the animal has not been benefited, il is the fault of ,hc disease instead of my medicine
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

HE New York zribHnf says that il will be happy day for the country when ;he dignity of the republic is considered of more importance than the Irish vote The 7tibane's idea is striking. but the day will never come. In o,hei. though less rehned words, it will be pretty dark. damp and cold day. when our statesmen will cease to banker after the Irish. mans influence at the ballot box. The democrats mus, have the Irish vote IL Is essential to their defeat.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

MATTHEW ARNOLD, 1t is said, will spend the winter in New England, where he will be pleased to cri,icise anything American that may be shown him. MT. Arnold is regarded as great man be- cause he has an impressive growl
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22
GOOD COUNTRY AFTER ALL.

Whose grave IS this !" said a gentle man while strolling through a cemetery.
 That said his companion, is the grave of Mir. Taggleworth."
 That SO? Why, hang it, he owed me ten dollars. am the most unfortunate man in the world. needed that money. Hello. Who have VIC here?"
 :. Mir. Zulkin, who died the other day"
 Well, that's encouraging. owed him twenty dollars. Made ten dollars by the two transactions. Arkansaw's a pretty good country after all.'
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22
CARL scHURZ' TROUBLE.

CARL ScHURZ' TROUBLE.
 Carl Schurz had good cause for sever- ing his editoral connection with the New York Eveniag Posk Mir. Schurz is very sensitive man and did not enjoy the little bits of American humor which the Posf newsboys occasionally threw at him. One morning the great German poli- tician and draft horse editor, called on the business manager and said:
 " 1 wish to know, sir, if am to be treated with respect in this office .''
 After the few first facial waves of sur prise had rolled across the coun,enanoe of the business manager, he replied !: Why, Herr Schurz, of course you are to be treated with respect. Did you no, get your financial stipend last week {. Did we fail to hand over your plethoric envelope."
 "Oh, yes, go, my salary. but that's not the thing. The other day wrote an article on our principles, but, sir, when went out to get a cornbeef sand wich, some rooster wrote an article de- claring principles directly opposite my own."
 But. you know, my dear Herr, opposi- tion is the life, the very backbone of trade"
 "True enough in some things ex- claimed MT. Schurz, with d dramatic air, ' but opposition in newspaper office IS the spinal meningitis of discord'
 "lou must recognize the potency of American humor, my dear Herr. These light and airy articles of pure digestion i bred ,"
 Schiller '" declared Mir Schurz
 No, Milton, my dear Schurz. As l was saying. these spray-like articles to which you so much object. are humor- ous. The newspaper of to-day mus, have humor. The lettering on a grave stone has not so many admirers as the light inscription on the bulletin board"
 "Oh :" exclaimed Mir. Schurz. ''I sec You call bulletin board inscription light because il Is written in chalk. Flaw, haw. ter he. he .''
 Nou are rare joker, and sir, if you were to throw your mantle of reserve to the dogs, health and happiness would be yours"
 Here Mir. Schurz took of his cloak and threw il over into the business de- partment.
 We are not dogs"
 " Then please return my cloak"
 Her Sehur4. II is well 10 joke the pub lie, bu, do no, joke the business office, for l, Is dangerous
 What. the business office or the joke:''
 Ah. rare rooster of the caekling world. you are Joker: but wha, other grievances have you:"
 Grievances that compel our separa- ton. Whenever l happen to show my self when your newsboys are around. they yell, Hi, Du,chy.' could stand the other annoyances. but this one paralyzes me. Now if they would cry High Teutonio. all would be well, bu, l will be eternally limbed, skinned and jayhawked if l can endure the Hi Dutchy business. l am willing to sacrifice my many years of study and become an American humor- ist and send marked paragraphs to ex- changes, but cannot remain al an es- tablishmen, where the boys are allowed 10 yell Hi Durchy at me. Employ deaf and dumb newsboys and all will be we'll. Otherwise we part. see you hesitate. You do not consent. Then l go. My ship is ready and the wind is fair, so iare you well. my own Mary Ann"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

Apollo once Found his Tyre in a Sc cluded nook. Where have you Been so long tha, have Been deprived of your Soothing Society,"" he inquired -Chide me Not too Severely, for my Derelietion carried its Punishment with it, replied the Tyre Il have been editing a cam paign Paper in Ohio. - Ckices,o Meas.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

: :" Do you know, sir, that you have out ragged not only the hxed laws of society but you have lost the respect of you frlends and relations, by marrying this mulatto ? said an irafe father 10 his eldest son, who stood in defiant attitude before him. What is your excuse for this grave and irremedizble ofFense :" {" was color-blind,' father" was the re- ply of the innocent young man - Ws
 iK.5-<.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

THE startling information ,ha, the En- press of Austria IS affected with sciatics. has been received at this office. We would advise delegation of congress men to cali on the president and see if the government can not be induced to take appropriate action in the matter.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

C.nIE, the novelist. says that a "' liter ary producer can. at any time sit down and force himself to work Oh. yes, and the whip applied to a sick horse will make him trot, but the motion will no, he nearly so graceful as it would if the animal were in better condition.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

A man with the alcohol disease in his stomach, complicated with seven-up and pin-pool, IS the sole property uv the most convenient grosey. He can't get away from il. A reg'lar hkker s'ioon with a card-table will beet any Amerikan wife. family, church and school. It is the one thing on earth that her supreme con- l."-.Aasiy.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

Wn,T the literature of the future will be IS causing speculation. If accepted by magazines, it will be written illegibly with A bad pen. The magazines demand pad manuscript. Plain writing shows that the author is school boy and can spell. Bad ohirography proves tha, the writer Is an old literary man and canno, ,nell
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

A correspondent asks: How do you stand on politics :" We don't stand on politics. Anything that stands on poli- tics has an insecure foundation. As a rule. the man who stands on politics is like the boy that went to the blacksmith $ shop and stood on piece of iron-he gets burned
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

TIE laws of Arkansaw say that when a man is away from the state five years, he IS. in the eyes of the law. dead. This is mistake. The law should read tn at when d man IS absent ID Arkansaw for five years that he is either dead or gene,- ally dcbiilated.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-12-22

At the journeys end: Old lady Jones. who always makes point of being clyi to rich-looking old ladies who appear 70 be alone in the world How kind and attentive you've been to me all the way You remind me of the youngest of my 1fteen dear nephews Pnrcs