davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15

princes always seemed to have contentad
81. and she Was . famous hand 81 srithme.
TIC, and Vas . woman Who conli alvays
stand mp for her rights. $3.50
eut. naturally enough, the priace reflect.
90 that some day she would find out all
ABOUT the trick, and that she would never
torgive him, 20 the next market day when
be saw the chancellor he asked his advise
and the chancellor said: do thus and 80,
and oil will be WE'LL"
so ON the succeeding Sunday, the prince
bird, and kept II in his pocket, and went,
liable custom on Sundays when he was at
home, the princess began teasing him about
being afraid fairy. ''She could do YOU no
earthly harm" said she, land, besides YOU
are nearly %, 900 kisses behind to. day nj.
ready, and It is almo:t vesper time. How
on earth do you ever expect to catch IN If
you only use one mouth. Oh! II was
great big man like you wouldn't be afraid
u = little bit of lairy!''
80 the prince pretended to be annoyed,
and he said, "All right, thenl III risk it il
you will; but mind, It viii be ali YOUR fsnlt
Il anything happens" And be slipped no
bis hand with the bird in it to unfasten the
mask, and a. he took of the velvet-whitil
out flew the bird in the princess face and
then out through the door.
'Thsre!" said the prince, "now you've
done III There goes my best mouth! Phew,
how 1t hurt! 1t was ike drawing q cork
out ofa bottle Of jim-beer (gingef beer)-
pop! Zee, the fairy is flying over the fence
,<"Yes, indeed, see the mustache." said
the princess: lam so sorry, but perhaps
can coax It back" So she ran after The
bird, pouting out her lips and saying:
"Cheepl cheep!" In the most bewitchinx
manner, but the bird would not return. and
she had to go back to her husband, sorrow
fully.
- Never mind, my DEAR" said he sooth-
ingly, ut does not make any difference"
"Oh," she sobbed, ''but 1t will. Now
that you have only one pair Of lips how
can you take more than $1,000 kisses .
day."
"Well, We must make them extra nice
ones. said the princa, land make up for It
that way. Besides there is this advantage
my pipes and tobacco will last me twice
as long now"
This reflection cheered the princess up;
80 she dried her eyes and used the velvet
mask, to tim her DO met with, and she and
the prince lived happily together afterward,
and this awful experience had one good eff.
fect-never afterward did she attempt to pry
into any of her husbands secrets.
And that's all!"-New York World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
PLAIN
TRUTHS

The blood is the foundation of
life, it circulates through every part
of the body, and unless it is pure
and :ich, good health is impossible.
If disease has entered the system
the only sure and quick way to drive
it out is to purify and enrich the
blood.
These simple facts are we'll
known, and the highest medical
authorities agree that nothing but
iron will restore the blood to its
natural condition; and also that
all the iron preparations hitherto
made blacken the teeth, cause head
ache, and are otherwise injurious.
Browns IRON BlrTEss willthor-
oughly and quickly assimilate with
the blood, purifying and strengthen
ing it, and thus drive disease from
any part of the system, and it will
not blacken the teeth, cause head
ache or constipation, and is posi-
lively not injurious.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
House and Farm Departing
Agricultural Items.

Agricultural Items.
II you mix hen. manure With aahes
the potash in tho ashes Will liberate the
ammonia In the former.
Daniel w. Davis Of Waynesville, Ohio.
thinks he has discovered method Of
granulating sorghum. It is further said
that the government set about having
the invention patented in this country
and twenty.nine others which have OF.
fered large premiums for such q discov-
cry, and that Mr.. Davis will realize
$2.500,OO
A dry, sandy knoll is not good ground
for potatoes, except in a very wet sea-
son. As this is rare, it would be better
to pnt potatoes in low ground, but it
must be we'll drained or the potatoes
will be wet and of poor favor. Stable
manure is good fertilizer, but whore
there Is not enough of this It is best to
use the special potato manure. The
specially prepared manure always pro-
duces the best quality of tubers.
Miss Mary H. Reed, Armenia, N. Y,
who has found pleasure, health and
money income in poultry-keeping, men,
tons that one objection to black fowls
is the difficulty Of making them dress
handsomely for market-the piu.feath-
ers will show, and the dark. colored legs
are not liked by dealers.
A western cattle. breeder reports that
the greatest profit is made in the first
year Of an animals growth. This is In
creased, but in less proportion the sec-
ond year. II kept \ year longer not only
is there no profit, but all the clear gain
Of the second year is wasted. This is a
striking commentary on the advantage
of early maturity.
There is nothing harmful in rye bran
as a food for brooding SOW. The more
bran and the less middling5 in the food
the better it would be 40 bran contains
more of the kind OF nutriment required
fora brood animal than the more starchy
middlings do. II the bran can be
fed with milk the feeding will he the
better for it. The SOW should be kept In
fair order and no more, and costiveness
Of the bowels ehould be avoided.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
ing, Mich.
"A SuffOCatin0 Cough.

In letter from Mrs. Charlotte Lisle OF Chi
cago. a lady we'll known as contributor to
the Western press she ascribes the cure of a
dangerous cough. accompanied by bleeding
at the lungs, to Hale Honey oi Horehound
and Tar. MY cough" she says, threaten
ed to suffocate me, but the Honey of Hore-
hound and Tar, has removed every trace of
it."
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in one minute
Scalps tormented with dandrutf or scald
head are made healthy with Glenn's Sui
phur Soap. Ofall druggists. :.
Hill's Hair and Whisker Dye, black or
brown, fifty cents.
Colden's Liquid Beef Tonic for adults
travelling, a wine-glass full may be taken
three.times day with great advantage Its
tonic and nutritlve qualities are sufficient to
sustain the body without the addition Of
soil food. 1t is no recommended by the
faculty, as the best remedy for consumption,
debility, loss Of appetite, weakness, indiges.
ton, dyspepsia, fever, ague, malaria, and all
female and children's maladies.
CAUTloS-See that the signature of T. Col
den is Oh each bottle, as limitations are on the
market.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
'eDavid COpperffel&l."

In David Copperaeld" Dickens Is
freerer from defect than in any other OF
his works. 1t is rarely that public opin-
ion has ratified m authors judgment 20
completely as it has here. As We all
know. this was Dickens favorite, and
the reason we all know. 1t may be no.
ed In passing how characteristic of the
wo men is their choice. To Dickens
David Copperfleld" was, to use his own
words, his favorite child, because in it's
pages he saw the reflection of his own
youth. Thackeray, though lie never
spoke out on such matters. is generally
believed to have looked not little into
his own heart when he wrot "Penden.
nis.' Yet his favorite was "Esmond,"
for "Esmond" he rightly felt to he the
most complete and perfect Of his works;
in that exquisite book his art touched
its highest point. With David Copper
field no doubt the secret Of the writer's
Partially 10 in some sense the secret of
the readers. Though none, perhaps,
have been 80 out poken as Hogy, every
man takes pleasure in writing about him
self, and we are always pleased to hear
what he has to say; egOtism, RS Macaulay
says, 80 unpopular In conversation, is al
Ways popular in writing. But not in the
charge Of autobiography alone lies the
fascination which this delightful book
has exercised Oh every class of readers.
1t ie not only Dickens's most attractive
work, but it is his best work. And it is
lis best work for this reason, that where.
as in all his others he is continually striv-
ing to realize the conception Of his fancy,
in this alone his bushes is to idealize the
reality; in this alone, as it seems 10 me,
his imagination prevails over his fancy.
In this alone he is never grotesque, OF
for him 80 rarely that We hardly care 10
qualify the adverb. Nowhere else il his
pathos 90 tender and 80 sure; no.
where else il his humor, though often
more boisterols and more abundant, 80
fine: nowhere else in his obsel walton 80
vivid and 80 deep: nowhere else has he
held with so sure hand the balance be.
tween the classes. In the character OF
Daniel PeRotty moro elOQuently and
more reasonably than he has ever done
elsewhere, even in honest Joe Gargery,
he has enlarged on his favorite hiding
place for virtue, he has also nowhere
else been 50 ready and 80 glad to vel.
come her in those more seemly places
wherein for the most part he can find
no resting.place for her feet. Weak.
minded as Doctor Strong is: fatuous, j!
the reader pleases, we are never asked
to laugh at the kindly, chiv9lrous old
scholar, as We are at Sir Leicester Ded.
lock; Clara Peeotty Is no better woman
than Agnes Wickfield. And of second.
rate importance, we may find the same
sureness Of touch.-The Fortnixhtly Re.
view.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
Line Upon Line, Precept, Etc.

From Texas Sittings.
"What luck did you hab las night.
parson?" asked Rev. Aminidab Bledsoe
of Whangdoodle Baxter, two Of the
most popular clergy in Austin, or in this
section of Texas for that matter.
Didn't hab no luck at all. Oar was
no chickens in reach. found a lot oh
shirts hangin' on a line. but de wedder
was so inclement dat de shirts and I'D
der c.ose was froze to de line 80 tight 1
conldn't pull 'em off. Maybe de Lawd
will temper de wind to de shorn lamb,
and moderate de wedder SO kin pull
dem close often de line eff dey am still
out ter night"
"Why de debble didn't yer cut de line
at bofe ends and 90 off wild de line, close
and all?"
"Brudder Whangdoodle, mex time I'll
be proud ter hab yergo along. You has
studied de subject line upon line and
precept npon precept."
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
Thousands OfLetters

The proprietors of that splendid strength.
ener Or. Guysotl's Yellow Dock and sarsapa
ing their medicine. From the testimony of
many ladies the fact is proven that as female
medicine it excels al others. Itnever fails to
relieve that sense of bearing down, that feel
ing ofgreat bodily exhaustion, that depressed
and gloomy state of mind incidental to dys-
menOIrhea,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15

Standish house, one mile north of Mazeppa
burned; total loss. The tenant ESCAPED with
partial loss OF furniture This was one OF
the first farm houses built in that vicinity
and was . fine homestead. Loss, about
4l.0c0: insured for $500 in the Springfield
Fire 4 Marine. The wind prevented the
loss Of the fine grove surrounding the
house.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
Influence OF Music on Animals.

Influence OF Music on Animals.
Whatever the modus operandi may
be, musical sounds have certainly pc.
culiar effect Oh brutes at times, tho ugh
whether this is of pleasurable nature OF
otherwise seems to be not quite clear
In garden where guitar was offer
played, it. was observed that the COWS in
an adjoining meadow invariably come &c
that part of the hedge nearest to the
point from which the strains proceeded;
and it. was found that they could he Iured
in this way all around the field, without
catching sight Of the performer, or hay
jng any other inducement to follow.
Sheep were affected In somewhat SIM
liar manner, but in less degree; goats
still less; horses. pigs and poultry not nj
all. Canaries will usually begin to sing,
and parrots to exercise their vocabulary
when they hear a piano. So far, these
creatures would appear to manifest de.
latter puts its tail between it's legs and
bowls dismally ut the first note of either
vocal or instrumental music, though i
can be accustomed to tolerate with
equanmity after q time; while pussy
lashes her sides and cries remonstrantly
and jumping on the musicians lap,
seems to rub and paw an appeal that the
unwonted and mysterious visitation
which so disturbs her nerves may cease,
particularly during singing. With these,
then, one would infer that the sensatio ne
produced are anything but agreeable;
but 1t is rather singular that, although
cat and dog are apparently distressed,
both run to the piano or performer and
remain there as long as the cause oftheir
excitement continues, neither endeavor-
ing to escape, as they would from my
other source of terror or annoyance.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
The Early Fashiona.

Cotton satteen IL the cotton fabric
that bids fair to be the most worn dur
ing the coming season, judging from
the quantity of the importations. The
grounds Of these new goods are in the
admired strawberry red, terra Gotta.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15

Free to all Ministers orChurches.
will send one bottle of the White Wine
OF Tar Syrup, gratis, to any minister that
will recommend it 10 friends, after giving it
a fair test, and it proves satisfactory, for
coughs, Gods, throat or lung diseases.
Sold by all Druggists.
Dr. c. d. WARNER reading Mich
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
OBJ no A GOVERNMENT MULE.

ODE no A GOVERNMENT MULE.
From the San Francisco Wasp.
o, Government mule, ...
With thy peDsive smile 10 meek,
Embodiment Of colossal cheek,
office ding
Ofthee
With thy winsome smile and plaintive bleat
Esthetic ears aud generous feet,
o, Government mulel
Lurking somewhere in thy treacherous heel,
Condensed chain lightning thou dost conceal,
And like bolt from Heaven sent,
Thy Timber lex, with skill uDbent,
demonstrates the absurd excess
Ofth yinfernal cussedness.
0 mule, thou breakest me all up
And flpst with bitterness my cup,
The joyous thrill Of thy plaintive bray
As thou cooest thy pathetic lay
(The sweetest warbling ever heard.)
Oiveth points to the snide canary bird
OF Washoe,
o,
For raputurous song thou takest the bun,
And to thee, o t stive son.oE a-gun,
dedicate this ode.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
Consumption Cured.

C0n8umpt1On cured.
An old physician, retired from practice, hav-
ing had placed in his hands by an East india
missionary the formula of simple vegetable
remedy for the speedy and permanent cure
for Consumption, Bronchitis, Catarrh, Asth-
and all throat and Lung Affections, alse pos
tive and radical cure for Nervous Debility
and all Nervous Complaints. after having
tested it's wonderful! curative powers in thou
known to his sufferingfellows. Actuated by
this motive and q desire to relieve human sui
fering, l will send free of charge to all who de-
sire 1t, this recipe in German, French, or En-.
glish, with full directions for preparing and
using. Sent by mail by addressing with stamp,
naming this paper, W. A. MOVES, l49 Pow
er's Block Rochester N Y
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
Try the New brand Spring Tobacco.

Personal Men Only.
The Votaic Belt Co., Marshall, Mich, will send
DR.. Dyes Celebrated Electro Voltaic Belts aud
Electric Appliances on TRIAL for thirty days to men
young or old)whO are aflctedwth nervous debility,
lost vitality and kindred troubles. guaranteeing
speedy and complete restoration of health and
manly visor. Address as above. n B.-No risk
is incurred. as thirty days trial is alo we'd
lcc'ed. "B,oUn's bronchial T'ochqs" are a
silnnla relnedx aud 81 va immefliafa reliaf
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15

In another column will be found the ad-
yertisement of Aliens Lung Balsam. We
do not often speak of any proprietary mede-
Of this great family medicine, we would soy
to those suffering with any throat or lung
disease. to take it and be cured.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15

A offer of marriage so delighted
one Michigan girl that she fell dead with
jOy-heart disease they called it.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
Saved his Child.
II N. Eutaw ST.. Baltimore, Nd.

I'm. Eutaw St. Baltimore, Nd.
Feb. -, 1850.
Cents:-Upon the recommends.
ton Of a friend l tried BRowN's
lRoS BIrTEKs as a tonic and re-
s.orative for my daughter, whom
! was thoroughly convinced was
wasting away with Consumption.
Having lost three daughters BY the
terrible disease, under the care Of
eminent physicians. was 10th to
believe thar anything could arrest
the progress Of the disease, but, to
my great surprise, before my daugh-
ter had taken one bottle Of BRowN's
IRON BlrrEKs, she began to mend
and now is quite restored to former
health A fifth daughter began to
show signs Of Consumption, and
when the physician was consulted
he quickly said "Tonics were re.
CURED :" and when informed that
the elder sister was taking BRowN's
IRON B1rrERS, responded that is
good tonic, take it,
ADoRAAI PHELPS.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
Etiquette Taught by Contraris

Etiquette Taught by COntraries.
Engage in an argument with every
person you meet.
If q man has glass eye, wooden leg
ora wig, always refer to it.
Never listen to the other person, for ii
you do you may forget what you want TO
say yourself.
If you are professional man, always
discuss professional matters in the pes.
ence Of non professionals.
If with stranger use profanity and
vulgar words. You will he surprised
how it will change their estimation OF
you.
Never talk in mild, gentle, .'and mus.
ical voice, but toot up high and loud.
Drown other peoples voice if you can't
drown their ideas.
When man is talking letyour eyes
and mind wander about the room. and
when he gets through ask him to repeat
what he said again.
la person makes q mistake in Gram
mar, or calls word wrong, always cor
rect him, especially if there several PEG.
pie around to hear you.
Always talk of your family, private,
and personal matters when conversine
with strangers. They like to listen to
long accounts of how You had the rheu.
matism.
Always make fun Of the locality where
you are staying. If you can't do that
ridicule or abuse some Of the leading
citizens. A son or daughter may BE-
present, and they will like to hear you
ridicule their old father.
Insist on talking on subjects that the
rest of the company have never heard
anything about. If you can't find for.
eign subject like Europe. or what you
did in college, pick out the prettiest girl
III the room and whispe: to her.
Always pretend to great gentility
yourself, and ridicule people who came
up from 4 modest beginning. Ifyou
can't say your ancestors belonged to
some notable family, make a strong point
of being acquainted with a great many
distinguished people yourself, and con-
stantly refer to the time when YOU were
in college.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15

Skinny Men.
"Wells' Health Renewer' restores health
and vigor, curesDyspepsia, Impotence. Sex
ual Debility. 81.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
Diamonds Fit for Few Women.

s8uOuUb VlC 1OT T0W women.
A little pale woman In flashing dia.
monds is absurd; the silent pearl, the
dull, soft turquoise. the evasive, mystic
rious opal. even the little inexpensive
moonstone, the topaz, the amethyst, all
these are ornaments becoming to ninety
nine women where the diamond is be-
coming to the one-hundredth. That a
woman with delicate personal charms
should utterly extinguish them by the
brilliancy of her dress seems like the
blind taste of a savage. For most WON.
en- q single jewel, If 1t is handsome.
which shall be the keynote of the COL
or Of the dress, is more effective than
necklace and bracelet and rings.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15

shrimp pink. slsctric blue, and hrovn i
various shades, IN liner I'M .i. ch eG =. -
marrow 9 70 produce the effect 81 solid
color. Over these Rronnda ara sce n ssi
large disks, shaded suna and mnnns
crecents, balls, eggs, Greek KEYS. aham..
rock leaves, and other flowers and Iaaf
designs, and among the disks ! cnrions
one called the transit Of Venus. The
newest patterns in polka dots have large
While bails nearly touching each other
on the checked and lined grounds dee-
cribed above. Cambrics. percales. and
batistes follow the same line of DESIGN
and coloring, e''
The nrst springs woolens seen on the
counters Are the tweeds, soft finished
light weight all.wool suiting that comes
in mixtures and in plaids both small and
large. When the harmonies of color
are preserved the large plaids are prefer
able. A very beautiful plaid in tweed
has 9 ground Of dark mvrtle-Rreen. the
check in dark red with q narrow line ~
ambeE edged with the merest tint of
pale bluo-green. This tweed, made IN
with an ecrtl or buff wool waistcoat and
steel buttons, makes very stylish Co.'S
tune or walking suit for y tall and
graceful woman. -, ''~
Velvets and velveteens of light weight
are brought out for early spring wear.
The brocaded ,velveteens are beautiful
limitations OF real silk velvet brocade.
and they cost one third less.
Among the spring novelties are hand.
some woven silk draperies of American
manufacture, which appear under the
title OF Newport scarls. They consist of
heavy all'silk hrocade OF soft and plant
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15

Everybody is using, and everybody is rec.
ommending to everybody's friends, Browns
Iron Bitters as a reliable iron medicine, a true
tonic.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
HumbuRa.

A farmer seems to be the chosen prey
and victim of the sharpers. Just now
seems to be the harvest season
of these INSCRIPTIONS people. The 60
called agricultural papers are much to
blame for circulating their deceptive
statements. Many of these are so suspi-
cious on their face as to awaken caution
in any person who knows anything of
the matters to which they refer. For
instance, person writes communications
to all the agricultural papers, addressed
specially to each, az though it was In tho
ordinary. way .of correspondence. This
communication appears in q dozen or
two or more journals. They all Offer to
do some favor on receipt Of pos
tage stamps. Perhaps It IL to
give q plan for making An tncu-
bator in which poor widow has reared
1000 or 80 chickens, from which she has
realized large sum of money at q cost,
let US say, offs cents each for three
months feeding. and has sold her poul-
try for 80 cents head. Now, II there IL
one thing more than another for which
there Is great popular demand, it is q
three months chicken, worth so cents,
which has cost only cents. To raise
such fowls is q profitable business, and
there's millions in tiff it can only Ike
done. But when We write to the poor
widow and request information about
her from her postmaster. We lose our
stamps which we send, and he replies
there is no such person in town, nor has
there been for several years, and there
are several hundred letters waiting for
her there. This looks little doubtful,
and one may suppose that II oil those
letters contain three, five, or ten pos
tage stamps each, some one will soon be
able to set up in the stamp business and
complete with the post Office.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-15
THE
GREAT
REMEDY
FOR
CURING
Consumption,
Coughs.
Colds, Group.
And other
and LUNG
AFFECTIONS.
1t COntalIas no Opium In ANY Form.

IL Contai''s no Opium In Any Form.
recommended by Physicials Ministers and
Nua curses. In fact BY everybody who has given It
sooo 'e'si. IL never falls to bring relief
CautiOn.-CaN for Aliens Lung Ralso,n. ap8
shnn the use OF all remedies without merit.
AZ an Expectorant 1t has No Equali
FOR SALE by all MEDICINE DEALERS.