The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-20
THE LARGEST KNOWN SWELL.
Curious circumstances that Brought To-
gether Billy Cripps and Jemime Bill
duck.

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Curious instances that Brought To-
gether Billy Cripps and Jemlme Bill
duck.
"Streaks o. wet weather mos alluz
fetches bad luck" said the old settl err
of Pike county, Pa, "but l never see n
wet season sech Ell this un's ben but
think o. the bully luck that Billy
Cripps tumbled into in the fall o '36.
Uncle Jonas Bullduck had farm down
in Jersey. burned if don't b'lieve
the apples they raised on that farm OF
season would a bought the hull o.
Lackawack. Billy wanted to marry
Jonas darter Jemime, but the ole man
didn't seem to like that notion, though
he hadn't nothin' agin Billy 'cept that
he want rollin' very much in wealth.
We'll, in '36 the apple crop was inn
mense. Uncle Jonas he'd more'n his
sheer, like the rest on 'em. One day a
smart neighbor o. hisn got an idee.
He come to Jonas and argied that mos
likely the chances was, b'gosh, that
mex year the apple crop'd be a dead
failure, an that naturally there'd be a
big call for dried apples.
"'Now, Uncle Jonas, says he, well
jist kind o go pardners like, an peel
an dry snortin ole pile o apples this
fall, lay 'em over, and ketch the market
heavy when it gets hankerin' fur sech
goods mex fall
"The idee struck Uncle Jonas, an he
sot the hull family to peelin' apples, an
'twa'n't long before they had 400 or 500
bushels O dried apples on hand. Uncle
Jonas house want very large I'm, an
it stood bout fifty foot from the line O
pastur' lot b'longin' to Hoppy Dusen-
berry. Not morn 100 foot from one
side o. the house, whar they was only
was quite steep knoll, an at the foot
O. this Jonas led built high wall. The
groun' twixt that an the house was
stony, an want used fur anything, SC
Jonas concluded to spread his dried
apples on boards twixt tire house and
the wall. He built roof over 'em, an
thar he had 'em slowed away snug
enough
"Wall, that fall Billy Grips was
pesterin' the old man more'n ever to LET
up an give him Jemime. One day
Jonas got mad.
See yer, Billy says he Il gettin'
durn tired o. this. They amt no use.
You'm jist Us likely to get Jemime ez |
am to be livin' over thar in Hoppy
Dusenberry's pastur Now, the fus
fine mornin' you come long this way
an find me a Twin over thar, jist walk
in, tell me, an then you can walk OF
with Jemime.'
"Ez mad as he were, Jonas had to
laugh to think O the joke o the thing
Billy he toddled off an made up his
mind that he and Jemime couldn't never
hitch.
"The season had been wet all through
the summer, an was keepin' it up. One
night, jist arter Jonas had given Billy
Grips his last walkin' papers, there
come up an ole tearer of n rain-one o
them warm fellers that soaks right H.
There was rippin' wind come lone
with it, ! reckomember twere on Sat
urday night, fur Uncle Jonas family al
luz took rest Sunday mornins, not
gittin' up lore half-past 6 or 7. That
Sunday mornin', though, there come {
rap at the door fore d o'clock. Jonas
got up an dressed himself an Wen
down. Thar was Billy Grips.
Mornin' Uncle Jonas, says he.
'Mornin', says Uncle Jonas. What
in the name o the grizzly king be yor
dom yer this time o. day
Wall, says Billy, 4 were jist goin
by, an seem as you'd moved over inter
Hopper Dusenberry's pastur lot. thort
I'd drop in an walk off with Jemime
jist ez you tole me to, says he.
Sure ez guns, thar were Jonas
house standin' plumb over the line Gu.
ter Hoppy's pastur lot. You see the
high wind o the night afore he'd lifted
the roof off'n Jonass dried-apple shed
The warm rain had belted in on 'en
through an through. Wall, you know
dried apples. They iist begun to swell
an swell. They couldn't push the wal
down, but sumpin' had to give. Tha
sumpin' were the house. Ez them 50(
bushels o apples KEEP doublin' their
self in size, they list quietly pushed
that house along, b'gosh, never wakin
a mortal up in it, till they landed it safe
an sound over on Hoppy Dusenberry'
Dastur lot. Wall, o. course Jonas
couldn't 60 back on his word, an Bill,
got his gal. But the dried apples was
split"
And the Old Settler took his UNI
brella out of the woodboX and Wen
home beaming. Ed Mott, Nn Neu