The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-12-27
''PunipS."

Nathan various, senior member OF the
retail firm of Watrous < McGill. The
party addressed was a fiorid young man.
with forid nose, fiorid mustache,
and ford hair. He was, in short, quite
n Florida youth, and his name was The
dpolis Duggan.
IL reckon so, he replied.
Can YOU be sauve?"
Which,"
Cam YOU support Il becoming address
in the presence of ladies-politeness,
sauvity, you know"
20, yes" answered Duggan. ain the
last place | worked the boys all said
was the sauviest man III the troupe, and
q rustler among the customers.
What business was it?'
"Pumps-wooden aud iron pumps,
and hydraulic rams"
Quite different line from dress
goods and ribbons.
We'll, yes, but ! amt afeared to
tackle 'em.
Mr.. Watrous gave him trial The
boys III the store labeled him Pumps
from the first moment of his initiation
into the dress-goods and ribbons de-
partment, The second day n petite
brunette inquired for some chicken
down" nuns yelling. Pumps com
menced to sweat.
What color is il - he blurtcd out
The girl only rewarded him with a
stony stare Pumps rushed off after a
new stock OF information, and inquired :
rs this provision store or butcher
shop
Why" answered one-hundred-
and fifteen-pound salesman.
Because, there's II gal up there by
the showcase who wants some chicken
down"
The 10 pounds Of pure and unadul-
terated sauyity waited on her.
"Show me some elephants breath
cashmere" said an elderly lady III gold
bowed spectacles. Pumps dropped a
roll of paper cambria and again started
down the road after some more intelli-
gcnce.
WHATS elephants breath?' he
glsped. Hanged if | amt thinkin'
I've struck menagcrie.
It's a shade of WOODEN goods. muir
INJURED another salesman, moving up
toward the elderly lady, and selling her
a large bill
Bet your boots I'll catch on, said
Pumps, staggering before the glass
where the ladies tried on bonnets and
hats.
Another young lady interviewed
Pumps in the afternoon and said:
"You know steel soutachc on gray
-. Il.
It's just the chickiest thing agoin',
observed Pumps.
The young lady looked grieved.
Show me some giratfe-colol ed cash
mere" she said, quietly.
Another animal wanted, muttered
Pumps, breathle,slv, as he reached the
other end of the store. He, OF course,
lost the sale.
SHOW me some crin0lettes, demand
ed a spare woman with n cast in one
eye. Pumps was nonplused
IF | was you | wouldn't get crino-
lette," he ventured.
You wouldn't" Sncered the lady.
mo, not at this season Of the year.
I'd get pair of striped stockings and a
poke bonnet"
The lady walked oat
What did she want?" inquired Mr.
Watrous, who had kept his eagle eye
on the proceeding.
she was hankerin' after crino-
lette," said Pumps, and / don't think
we have EN- i'll stock.
These are crinolcttes," said Mr. Wat
ro,rs, sternly, and pointing to a pile OF
the garments.
Them! Why, | took them for base
ball Masks sad Pumps.
You will have to do better thar
this, =" remarked Mr. Watrous, Impress
lively
There is woman up at the front
end who wants some Apollinaris.
Hadn't | better go out and get her a
glass of seller
Some more condensed suavity waited
on the lady, and sold her polonaisc. q
moliere wai5tcoat, an ostrich feather
fan, and ten yards of plum-colored
velvo teen. Pumps was paralyzed.
"Nou fellows have got the thing down
pretty middlin' fine he said pulling
ms vermilion mustache before tn,
mirror.
Evidently you have considerable tC
learn in this business. observed tn,
head salesman to Pumps.
All | ask is fair show for my
money!" returned Pumps, deiectedly.
"What would you do if q lady
should inquire FOR an imported jersey 2
What are you giving us?" whineG
Pumps, this is ne stock yard or dairy
farm"
THAT, my friend" said the heat
salesman, ais a short jacket, introduced
into this country 10y Mrs. Langtry
What if she should inquire for n tourn
ure ?"
Mech. I'd
"That will do!' shouted Mr.. Wat
rous, bobbing up from behind a bale o
sheet.ng, you can tournure back OF
this establishment and hunt work in
mmber yard. "-Terds SJtingS.
Why lie Wouldn't Get Up.