Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1883-08-10
Ths BIhnderberrrs at Breakfast.

fhe Bfunderberrys ut Breakfnst.
"Mrs, Blunderberry, ;" said the master
Of Che house, have you seen the news
paper this morningp", and he looked
underneath the dish cover with n scowlJ |
at the bacon, as If he suspected that
usually harmless comestible of having
secreted his morning Journal.
Mrs. Blunderberry dropped two silent
her head away without reply. 21m
"'Am to understand, Mrs. Blunder-
berry," he continued, raising his voice;
lam to understand that you have used
the Daily Starter rs dress improverp
Do you wish mo to believe that you pro-
pose to curl your fringe with the larg-
est circulation in the worldpr Possibly
you intend to contribute twenty columns
the Society for the Diffusion of Useful
Knowledge; but I-I--your husband,
your lord and master, demand that
print. Produce it, Mrs. Blunderberry,,
lor-A."d And he seized an electro
plated knife with which it was just
possible to, carve, butter on o hot day,
and flourished it menacingly.
"You shan't have itr'' cried Mrs.
Blunderberry deiiantly, snatching 1t
from beneath the chair where she had
concealed it and holding it behind her
hack. Then, with all the rapid varia;
ton of woman's S mood, the tears coursed
down her cheeks as she pleaded pite-
ously: "Dont ask me for it, Solomon--
don't, Take my pearl brooch with dear
grandma's hair init-take my new silk
skirt, which only came home last night,
and which have nev-er--ever worn,
but, Solomon, as yourlove me, do not
read the newspaper to-day 7.lY
"What ails the STARTER this morn
ingp" roared Mr.. Blunderberry. "What
| corruption of male morals has Fleet
| Street been attempting since I went to
bedP What profanity has been turned
loose in loaded type to startle the pro-
priety of a BlunderberryP Speak,
madam-speak-or / will purchase a
thousand copies of this days STARTER
and paper every room in the house with
them.n eas s-o.y1,4, ,.,D
! 20, Solomon! the Lor-Lor-Lor--
Lords have made a aw-law that
you are to marry your wife's deceased
sister, and-and-you've got to do it. "
! As, Mrs. Blunderberry spoke these
words she choked with emotion and
misdirected the tea, then patted herself
on the back with spoon till she re-
covered. .+Tr4E9JfI
''Is that sop" yelled Mr.. Blunder-
berry, dropping a piece of bacon into
his cup, and hourishing the vacant fork
like General leading his, troops to
victory. 'Is that SOP Then bring
along the coffins of all your dead and
gone relatives; show me the tombstones
of all my future wives; and let history
record the name of Blunderberry as the
Mormon among the mummies."
"Sol-ol-omon. how can you joke
on such subject? o! to think that I
should live to see the day when my
husband should stand before the altar
with his deceased wifes sister"
"Now you've got it! That's it at
lastw replied Mr.. Blunderberry, with
mock seriousness "I'll invite YOU to
the wedding, Mrs. BlunderberTy; Ill
\ present you with q piece of The cake,
Mrs. B., q lovely bit of cake with a
little sugar Cupid atop; III fit you with
a wreath of flowers, and you shall give
me away; then you will become your
sisters stepwife, and 1 shall be your
i half brother-in-la -law-see?"
"But," cried Mrs. Blunderberry,
rising from her seat, q bright gleam OF
hope irradiating her countenance, ''but
i haven't gotta sisterl'i
"Mrs. Blunderberry, the peers Of
Englandf l.. council assembled, are not
to be put OFF with subterfuge. You
ought to have one. Procure me the
necessary young person without delay
bring forth the fiery, untamed sister, oil
. dread the vengeance of the outraged
rajesty of the law. The petty detail
that there was but one of you vii
never serve your turn in the presence
| of the Lord Chancellor"
i But said Mrs. BlunderberIy, re
, flectively, Il suppose the same law
applies to a deceased husband brother
and you have a brother, Solomon, allt
very nice-looking he is-quite diferen
! to you-and ever so much younger; ant
/ always have liked him very much
; and wish"
r '.What nonsense you talkr' exclaimed
: Mr.. Blunderberry, peevishly. ~ thinl
? | will walk into the city this morning,
and he left the house fully ten minutes
before his usual time London Fun.
d. |