Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-10-17
HuaaINa As A FINE ART.


A queer case has just come TO light in
Chicago. A young man spent an evening
with his girl, and during the evening, while
the family was present in the parlor, he
was as demure and bland and child.like as
could be wished. The mother came into
the room after the family had retired to get
handkerchief she had left, and the young
man was seated IN chair ii the middle of
the room, while the girl was seated on
sofa, and nothing that the mother could see
in the actions of either led her to think
they were more than passing acquaintance.
1t seemed to her as though the young peo-
pie had met before, but there was no evil
dence that they were very well acquainted.
All night, after he had gone, the girl COM
planned of a pain in her side, and in the
morning doctor was called, and he found
that two of the girls ribs were broken.
How it was done nobody knew. The girl
could not tell for the life Of her, though
she blushed when asked about it, and the
mother looked very wise as she looked at
the doctor. The doctor made some in
quiries, set the ribs and went away, and
the girl proceeded to recover.
That evening the young man called and
was astonished when informed of the ex
tent OF the girls injuries, and wondered
how it could have happened, though the
mother watched his face close as he spoke,
and detected not only blush, but pro-
fuse perspiration on his face. She had
been a girl once herself, and though she
had never had any ribs broken. she had
been Rugged some. It was trying posi-
ton for all of them. The father was away
on trip to Wisconsin, and when he came
home the matter had to be explained to
him. He was told that the ribs just sim.
ply broke themselves, and that neither the
mother nor the girl nor the young man
could account for it, and yet all three of
them blushed terribly. The father patted
his girl on the head, told her she would
be better when she got over it, and then
called the young man into the library.
The young man was SO weak he could
hardly walk, and when he sat down he
took out handkerchief and mopped his
brow, and wished he was dead. The
father looked the young man over and was
sorry. He finally said:
"Young man, guess l can give you
some points on hugging. You must first
learn that girl is not constructed on the
same principle of an iron fence or truss
bridge. A girl is delicate piece of mech
anism, like fine watch, full OF little
springs, wheels, jewels, etc. The breaking
of any one of these would cause her to
cease keeping time and necessitate her
being taken to jeweler for repairs. In
hugging girl you don't want to go at it as
if you were raking and binding, or catch
ing sturgeon. / know that where the lam.
lily sits up late with a young couple and
spoils several precious hours of hugging,
that unless the young man has good head
when left alone with the object of his affec-
ton, that he is liable to overdo the matter
and try to make up for lost time. He
seems to want to hug up lot ahead, and
grabs the girl as though he wanted to
break her in two. This is wrong. lou
should 90 at it calmly and deliberately
even prayerfully, and be as gentle as though
she was an ivory fan. The gentle pressure
of the hand that girl loves, even the
touch, is as dear to her as though you
run her through stone-crusher. \ on
should not grab her as you would bag OF
oats, and leave marks on her that will
last lifetime. A loving woman should not
be made to feel that her life is in danger
unless she wears a corset made of boiler
iron. | hope this will be lesson to you,
and hereafter if you cannot control your
feelings, will provide wooden Indian
for you to practice on at first, until you
have developed your muscle and got tired,
and then we can turn cur daughter loose
in room with you and not feel that it is
necessary to keep a surgeon handy. In
allowing you to keep company with my
daughter l do not agree to provide you
with a human gymnasium, dressed in a
Mother Hubbard wrapper and wearing
bangs. You can readily zee that girl
would not last a season through if she had
to have ribs set once week. Please think
this thing over, and if the girl is well
enough next Sunday you can drop in and
try some more ribs Now you go home
and hug hat-rack for an hour or two, and
have it repaired in the morning."
The young man went out into the night
air. took his hat off to cool his head and
hired man to kick him Pecks Sun.