Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1883-06-01
HUMOROUS.

-Bootblacks are friendly little fell
lows. They take Il shine to anybody.
A man in England has been fined
for biting off the tails of two dogs. He
must be something of wag.-Roctes-
ter PoSt-Erpress.
When n woman wants to get rid OF
her husband for an hour, she sends him
up stairs to get something from the
pocket of her dress.
-'sMr. Isaacs, can you tale me ware
vas the first diamondpn mo, Mr..
Yawcobs; we're vas it?" '.Vy, Noah's
son on de ark; he vas a Shem of der fust
water. y Chicago Tribune.
-''Maria,n said Mrs. Parvenu to her
daughter, ..who is that Mr.. Dude that
the papers have so much to say about?
| must ask your father to bring him to
dinner, for guess we ought to know
him. ~ T. Nail,
Lady to dry-goods clerk): ''If you
will cut me small sample of this Twill
find out from by dressmaker how many
yards | need, and can send for the
goods by the maid" Enfant Terri
Bile; "Why, mamma, that's just what
you said in all the other stores.''
"a horse at Craigville took fright
at colored man playing q fiddle, and
ran away and smashed lamp-post. "
The animal evidently had good ear
for music, but why he didn't run away
|, and smash the fiddler is the strangest
part of the incident. The lamp-post
was innocent. .-Noristo,O Herald.
Mrs. Malaprop was heard to re-
mark apropos of the weather: 81 can't
see into this Wiggins's idee. OF course,
Juniper and Satan bcin' in pedigree
would be rather like ter git up some
sorter storm, but it don't seem ter me
that the sun and moons being in efiigy
would raise any rumpus "-Ron1e (N.
" Sentinel.
An Irishman who had pig in his
possession was observed to adopt the
constant practice of filling it to reple-
tion one day and starving it the next.
On being asked his reason for doing so,
he replied: "Och, sure, and isn't it that
like to have bacon with strake o. fat
and a strake of lean aqually, one after
t'other Chicago Herald,
An Arkansas boy, writing from col
lcge in reply to his fathers letter, said:
$50 you think that am wasting my
time in writing little stories for the
local papers, and cite Johnson's saying
that the man who writes except for
money is fool. / shall act upon DIR.
Johnson's suggestion and write for
money. Send me fifty dollars. ."-Arkan-
sa,o Traveller.
1t was not doctor he needed:
Lawyer Pullman is an Austin Lawyer
who has great reputation for collect
ing bad debts. If the money can be
got out of man he will get it. 1t was
to this lawyer that little Bob Buckley
referred when he was requested to run
quick for doctor, as a neighbor' child
had swallowed a coin. doctor be
blowed, I'll run for Lawyer Pullman;
he'll get the money out OF the kid
quicker N dozen doctors. "-IeraS
SytingS.
Committee of solicitation-"1s
Mrs. Smith at homeP" Mary Ann
| (lately landed)-''No, ma'am." Sec
ond Lady of Committee How un-
fortunate! We wanted to see her on
business. Please tell her so when you
hand her these cards. Third Lady
"Have you any idea when she will be
in?" Mary Ann (who has been drilled
for formalities)-"Yes, ma'am; she
said when she ran out on the piazza as
how she'd come right in again as soon
as she heard the door shut - Chicago
| Times