Connecticut western news., 1883-06-20
Not the First Straw Hat.

About nine o'clock in the morning a tramp who held his hands in his pockets to keep his trousers up, peered in through window on West Twenty-fourth street while the Mullwaits were at breakfast.
 "You want somethingito eat ?' said the mistress of the house.
 "If you please, madam
 "You look as if you stood in need of clothing, too. Sarah, go to the store room and bring down that bundle that you'll find on the chest"
 Sarah having returned with ted bun dle, Mrs. Mullwait emptied the contents in the hallway and invited the tramp in. ''Here's pair of pantaloons belonging to my husband"
 "What size does your husband wear, madam? I think them's too narrow in the knees for me, bein' as ain't dude. You'd better keep them and I'll send my pard round; he's as thin in the runnin' gear as any dude that travels. There, that's likely 'nough coat, but J see from the collar that 1t was made by Ramsberger & Ditch, and Ramsberger & Ditch is a mean firm clean through Last winter they refused to pay me in advance when I stepped in to ax 'em if they wanted their snow cleared of. -
 "You seem to be particular for a tramp" mildly. replied Mrs. Mullwait, drawing near to the servant-girl. al | ticlar"
 "Here's good straw hat MT. Null wait paid s4. 50 for only last summer"
 "Let me look at that hat, please. Your husband paid twenty shillin' toe much for that hat there's no air-holes and the bands quarter inch too wide. Kin I see your husband? I kin give him a pint or two on straw. I've slept in more straw stacks than"-
 "Take it, will you, and don't talk so much ?"
 Madam, don't propose to be the first man to trot out straw hat thi; season, not by long shot. If I were brung up before police judge he'd pack me off to the island if I wore that hat Aha, my man, using force, eh forcing the season, were you? Six months. Them's the words the judged use, though I'd been hauled in for bein' a little drunk If you keep that hat until June I'lI- but
 ''Let me ask you, madam, did voul husband ever have any kind of ketch. in sickness while he wore them clothes : If he did I'll lug 'em along, cause I go d grudge agin a 10-cent lodgin'- house keeper on the west side that has weak ness for changin' the pliers of his lodg ers-taking their bundles from under their heads when they's asleep and shov in an old salt sack in their place. an6 then in the mornin' sayin' they brune nothin' in with them the night before If you think them clothes has fieas bedbugs or yeller fever in 'em I'll talk, em long with thanks, but if they hasn' I'll be content with little toast ant coffee."
 Mrs. Mullwait went into the dining room and Sarah sought some stale bread in the kitchen, while the tramp opene, the refrigerator, drank the cream tha was for custards and walked off with tn poli-parrot and pawned it for drink ol the corner below.-N. y. World.
 Too FUNNy.-The wag of an Illinoi village made sport of travelling dentist who had established an operating chai on platform in 8 public square, b, showing bim his sound teeth ant f'cetiously declaring that they needed extraction. Then the dentist took hi turn at being jocose, and did it so sud denly that two of the teeth were out be fore their owner could protect his moutl from further injury.
 PUN1sHED.-A Grand Rapids druggist who nearly killed woman by mistaken ly putting poison into prescription might have settled the damages by pay ing $1 800, that being the sum awarded by jury. but he appealed, got a nev | trial and this tima was oopona1lad f.