The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-09-01
A SOLEMN CONVERSATION.
tDrake's Travellers Magazine.

My dear,r said Mfr. Spoopendyke. turning in his chair and con.ernplating 2 his wife with solemn expression on his visage- :" My dear. wha, would you do Ii were suddenly called away by the angels z
 Good gracious exclaimed Mrs. Spoopendyke, dropping her scissors ard looking UP with jerk, Wha, pu, ,h l, idea in your head =
 l Don't you think they are ,cs. as liable to come fishing after ne AS any one else :" demanded Mir. Spoopendyke. sitting up straight and rumpl.ug hls haiv oninoEsly. "P'raps you have go. some kind os a notion that the res, oi the world have corner CT this angel bry- ness. and that am short or a rising market. Wha, asked was. wha, would 1 you do If should be called home with out any particular amoun. oi warn ing ?"
 You reedn; be afra:d of that smiled Mrs Spoopendyke Il, isa grea; dea, more likely ;ha: vii % before you do. Why. yoa are good for forty years yei. and you know am no, very strong"
 e'o. !; all fixed. havea', voc :" re-
 aonsIated Mir. Spoopendyke. stra:sh,- enius bolt upright. ani gia.;ns ], his spouse. "Beea making all the arrange nen:s for the dissolution of this family wi,hou, consulting anybody. haven; ye :. tel. ye. no man knowe.h when the las; measly hour cometh. and fl yoa ,hsas youF candle has 90; any longer wick n an mine. you re oa your nu:: yoa heat :.
 Yes dear. ruriaured Mrs. Spoopen- dyke, II you should d.e dear, | ,hInk |; would kill me
 Now you're taking. grinnsa Mir spoependyke. soraewha, moline by this concession on the par, ot his wife '.You know the oes, ot Us IS liable 10 20 any moment, and yoc can't ,el. when am likely 10 De scooped up. Think you'd ev much :" ard Mir. Spoopendyke folded his arms and assumed an aspect ot srea: res yna,ion. as though he already heard the bells ringing for hlm.
 .. Why. of course" replied Mrs. Spoop- endyke. rather paziled by .he drif: of the conversation. II should try to think that you were better of. but i, would be natural for me to shed tears"
 = lcst 50 = grun,ed Mir Spoopendyke. " And fl the natural ears didn', hold out. suppose you ! chuck in few artitical ones rather than no, keep up your end of the stick Wha, makes you think I'd be better orf: he continued. as he caught the full force of the reflection tha; there nigh, be some consolation for his widow n the faith tha, he had done a pretty clever thing by dying. . Be glad. wouldn't you 10 see me launched into the grave like fence post: Be a grea. deal Of comfort 10 you .e know tha. you would never see me again. or hear my voice any more. and here Mir. Spoopendyke broke down under his emotion. and covered his face with his hands.
 Don't you feel we'll dears" asked Mrs. Spoopendyse. timidly. Le: me r,ake you a cup Of tea and you'll soon ge: over your bad feelings.
 = Never mind. whispered Mir Spoop- endyke, ia l broken voice. II suppose you'd ge: ,he mos: expensive mourning you could rind. and have i, made up as becoming as the lite insurance would permit, wouldn', you =
 Certainly. dear. # you wish l.. as- sen.ed Mrs. Spoopeniyke Only don, think could have i, ready in time for the funeral. could borrow black dress until mine was done. bu, -
 And l suppose you could hire some grief 10 help you through the allotted period of bereavement, couldn't you. = hsssed Mir. Spoopendyke. forgetting tha; ne was theoretically dead. and bouncing of his chair There wouldn't, be time to get on all the hsunces and rufrles be- tween my death and burial. and you'd have to rent appropriate expressions of profound melancholy: Is that the way you want 10 be understood: : Couldn't go to my funeral unless yor could ou.. shine all the other dod gas,ed widows in our set That the idea you wan, 70 con- vey: Ina, ali the consolation you want 10 pervade my last hour with ::
 .. No. dear cooed Mrs. Spoependyke. somewha, a, loss to express herself 'Wha; would you like to have me do :''
 Do. ,oared Mir. Spoopendyke. who had expected the prospective widow to burst into tears at the suggestion of his demise. "Wha, do expec, you to do: Go fishing. When the Trump of lm- mortality sounds for Spoopendyke. and ae replies. Lord. the remains are pre- pared for the sacrince" expect you to se. lo, Of old hens together and have candy pull Understand i, now: Does that dying reques. convey to your mind any intelligent, idea Of he las. wishes of ;he defunci: Think you could carry ou, that beques. withou: getting the molasses all over the corpse
 Yes. dear. sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke. struggling 10 keep the tears back as in her imagin a;ion she conlurej up the vis- ion of Mir. Spoopendyke lying in his cof. m with his poor face ali stuck up with .reacle. Only wouldn't like to have tre in the house when you were dead. because it would be so ho, for the mourn CTS. and. you know, corpse ough, to oe kept as cool as possible in this warm weather.
 So i. ought hadn', i,:' yelled Mir Spoopendyke, rather startled by this prac- ,ical suggestion that he nigh. no, keep long in a warm house. And the mourn CTS ouyh, to he ken, cor,fnrfabls ,S ,h>.,