davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31
AN HONEST MAN.

The other day a man jumped into
the river and was just on the eve OF
drowning when he was rescued. II
was evident that he had attempted to
commit suicide, and after he had re-
vived sufficiently to talk, a physician
asked:
did you jump into the river Or fall
in?'
Jumped in"
"Can you swim?"
mo, sir"
"Then you tried to drown yourself,
didn't you?"
Il reckon that's about the only
conclusion that wo can arrive at"
"Why did you want to die?"
well, I was standing on the bank
there intently watching a race be-
tween two skiffmen when, looking up
the river a few yards from me, 1 saw
a man that I borrowed ten dollars
from some time ago. Looking down
the river, a few yards from me, 1 saw
a fellow that I owed for hat. Turn
ing, I saw few yards from me, com
ing down the street, a man that !
owed for suit of clothes. l had
promised these men time and again
that I would pay 'em, and having nc
means Of escape I hoped into the
river"
Did you think that they were
going to do you violence?"
mo, but I'd devilish sight rather
be shot than dunned to death. I'm
an honest man, you see, and I didn't
want them blamed fellows to catch
me in another lie."
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31
THE MAKE UP OF THE BODY.

Surprising your age to be fifteen
or Whereabouts, I can figure you to q
dot. You have 100 bones and mus
cles; your blood weighs Is pounds
your heart is five inches in length
and three inches in diameter; it beats
20 times in minute, 1920 times pei
hour, 10O,8OO per day, aud 36,792, 0OC
per year. At each beat little owe,
two ounces of blood is thrown out OF
it, and each day it receives and dis
charges about seven tons of that
wonderful fluid. Your lungs will
contain a gallon of air, and you in
hale $4,000 per day. The aggregate
surface of the air cells of your lungs,
supposing them to be spread out. ex-
ceeds 10000 square inches.
The weight of your brain is three
pounds; when you are a man it will
weigh eight ounces more. Your
nerves exceed 100000 in number
Your skin is composed of three lay
ers, and varies in thickness. The
area of your skin is about 1,70O
square inches, and you are subject
to an atmospheric pressure of fifteen
pounds to the square inch. Each
square inch of your skin contains
$500 sweating tubes or respiratory
pores, each of which may be likened
to little drain tile, one-fourth of an
inch loug, making an aggregate
length of the entire surface of your
body of a drain or tile ditch for
draining the body of 23a miles long.
SUSIE NJ SANTINA.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31
BLESSED WITH AN AAR0N.LIKE BEARD.

Charles Peterman, q farmer, living
just outside the city, has probably
the longest beard possessed by any
man in this city or vicinity. He is a
rather short man, and the beard,
which is over three feet in length,
falls way below his knees. But few
people would notice anything peculiar
about his appearance. because he
keeps his hirsute appendage tied up
in curl papers and hid away within
his vest. In addition to its length,
the beard, which covers almost the
entire face, is very thick, and is sur
mounted by an immense mustache.
How long have you been growing
that beard~ he was asked.
''Oh, this is only a seven years
growth. I have had it nearly as
long before, but it was so inconvenient
that l cut it off. Its length now il
due to my friends, who insist upon
seeing how long it will grow. My
wife puts it up in papers every morn
ing as religiously as she puts up her
own hair"
ANY other members of the family
afflicted in the same way9"
''Ihave six brothers and nine sisters,
all, except one brother, living in
Germany. All my brothers have ex-
traordinarily long hair. My brother
living in this country is in Vermil-
lion County, III. His beard is pure
blonde, and is fully as long as mine,
which, you see, is black. My brothers
head, continued Mr.. Peterman, twas
as destitute of hair in manhood as a
billiard ball. - Kansas City Times.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31
GRECIAN WOMEN.

The condition of women during
the Homeric Period was compare
lively elevated. But after the change
to democracy we almost lose sight
of them, until we are ready to be-
lieve the Greeks had some other
method of continuing their race, and
that the Greek nation were the real
Phoenix which they claimed to be,
springing from the ground, ready
made. Women were kept in the ut
most seclusion. 1.-THE best woman"
says Thucydides, sis she of whom
least is said, either in tho way of
good or HARM" Tragic theater pro-
claimed silence to be the greatest
ornament of woman. Thy wife
Abroad cried the comic theater, lis
death and furies! What does she
from homer" The owl, muzzle,
and pair of reins were tie fttest
emblems on sepulcher of the nc
complished housewife. Owl emblem
of her watchfulness. muzzle of her
silence, and reins of the skill with
which she managed her servants.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31
BOSS LIAR FR0M ARKANsAw.

$50 you are from Arkansaw, are
you!"
Il am proud that I can say yes, and
I enjoy my home possibly as we'll as
any of you Chicagoans enjoy your
home here"
"Tell me, have you had much rain
down your way this season'" con-
tinued the questioner.
"Well, I should smile. Why it be-
gan to rain early in January and it
has never stopped save at times when
a sleet or snow storm was sand
wiched between"
"How are your crops7"
Every good l guess. haven't been
down to see lately"
Don't see how you put in your
crops in 80 much rain"
''Well it was pretty tough, we tied
weights to our potatoes and got in a
scow and dropped them down through
a. section of suction pump. We
sowed our wheat and other small
grain with a shot gun which we fired
into any solid substance we saw"
"What became of your stock and
agricultural implementsi"
I'VE tied the stock to the tops of
the tallest trees and let them climb
for themselves, and the plows and
things we slowed away on the top of
our houses"
"How in the world did you cult
vata vOur fialdat'
1T was a little awkward at first but
we soon got used to it. We went
down in a diving bell and worked
right along losing very little time.
The mud turtles were q little trouble
some at times but we made life in
teresting to them by swapping their
tails"
How did you gather your crops
when matured?"
"Oh we just put reaper on the
scow and steered it over the fields as
You would any machine, we loaded
the grain onto the boat as the self
binder gathered it in.
How was the yield this year?"
"It would have been good had it
not been for the muskrats that dug
up nearly everything we planted, to
make nests Of"
When last heard the two men were
looking at a frescoed ceiling through
beer glasses, and speaking about
'the peach CROP" which was killed
or was not we don't remember which.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

A Boston man who had been talk
ing speculation with broker, and
keeping an eye out for good paper,
went to him one day and said: Il
think have a chance to make big
spec l can buy a note for $500, due
in four months, for 500 That's a
big discount, my friend Who was
the note drawn by?' by a man
named Smith, John Smith ~
That's the man." Then don't you
touch the note2 He's my brother,
and he'd write $500 notes all day long,
and be glad to sell 'em for S25
apiece. Lucky you spoke of it, sir.
You want to look out for all my rela
tions.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

As in India one day an Encli>hnan sat
With smart native lass nj the window,
do your widows burn themselves: Fray
tell me that
Said the pretty, inquisitive Hindoo.
"Do they burn! That they do the gentle
man said,
"Nith flame not so easy to smother:
Our widows, the moment one husband Is
dead
Immediately burn--for another
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31
TO PRINTERS {!

Printers who are about h. purchase now
type, or printing material Of any kind, should
send for the new specimen book and tho 70.
duced price list just issued by Mcssrs. Palmer
/ Rey the go-ahead type founders and press
makers Of San Francisco and Portland. Opn.
This finn has forged 20 fnr ahead Of all it,
competitors that now it is tho most complete
printers supply depot in tho country to-day.
Palmer & Rey's stock II not only very large
and complete, but their type and material IL
of high grade. Their type "a scomderfni 10,
perfect Justification aud beauty Of finish.
Tho new Price List, just issued by Palmer 4
Rey, is q regular boon e. the trade, ~ they
can save at least Is per cent by buying from
this house. The job fonts shown in Palmer 4
Reys Specimen Book are the cheapest we
have ever seen, and We don't eco how the
other Type Boundaries Of San Trancisco can
sell at all to any printer who gets the ne I.
specimen book and price list of Messrs. Palmer
& Rey. The Printers Of Oregon and Wash.
ington Territory are now not dependent upon
San Francisco for supplies. a. Mcssrs. Palmer
& Rey have just opened q branch warehouse
at 81 Front street, Portland. They keep in
stock there q complete assortment 81 Type,
Presses and Material, and have shut out all
competitors by selling in Portland 1t San
Francisco rates. The printer who finds the
need of Patent outside, cannot do better
than write to the SAN FRAScIsco NEWSPAPER
UNION, Palmer 4 Rey proprietors. the sheets
turned out by these gentlemen are superior IN
any thing got up in the United States. II you
don't believe it. send for sample sheet and IN
convinced. Messrs. Palmer 4 Rsy'a address
is 4O5 and 407 Sansome street, Han Pysncisco.
md sc Front street Portland. Or
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31
The ROSE IN THE GARDEN.

In the garden grew n rose bush.
And II bore one single flower.
That through summer rain and sunshine
Fairer grew from hour 10 hour
Till II was perfect flower.
Two youths 10y the garden wandered,
Saw the rose and vainly sighed,
Each to wear II in hi- BOSOM
White rose. sweet n n sweet bride
But alas. both vainly sighed.
Then said one, with angry -cornlne,
1T would never do for me;
It's not white. nor sweet. nor perfect:
Quite common rose. see:
i, would never do for me.
Nay" the other SAID, ''of roses
This rose IA the very be-t:
White-t. purest. sweetest. rarest-
He who wins 1t will be hlest.
oh, To- wear II IN my breast.
And he fingered near the garden
Till he heard n whisper sweet
Enter and the rose of roses
Bent his loving hand to meet:
Made his life forever sweet
- Harper Blzar.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31
THE DANGER OF OvRR-EXERTION.
q stalwart Man Becomes Weaker than Child
and then Receivers his Former Strength.
Waterloo. y Y. Observe

T., +b,so dow, s. ,.,,.;a. 49,, ILL.,;
- w to. iJ"'ni sil'..s anu "r'icIi'
'.aJ thar ator 80 th :; NOR un
,t,';o a,,'n siiioc tiic tiiiic VI liz
srt. nf ''hw.;c1 n l,.en ~ I sloTs r'o ere
49,, ,, ~ - T'"sf Is io'Aei w " i'i
1.r ,' .t slec'in,is VI we'll
IS ,s na,,nr nnot a,,,;Gon,. ,n ,,r,'u
,h W. ,i",, &c. ~" . slJLeliiicn VI
IS H. W w.. 81 Vya Ia W II II:
,,,,io. n,,';,.h sho,'ad ,' Un TJeeitp"
or ~ hail 90 80 "''u a. -, ~
VIZ So ,,,l, a. "Io ~ hi' Ie'luesi 'lie
w. MN ~ 'iic arms VI
os What - r,nan; ,.oS'';.o "a ie,'liNs s'.1
y, I'''v , =; y I'LL IRON ''''' WIS '''iiS
80 He Won, a,,vo,s ..+,,,o. 49,
, va ,ccl >" SUI" "it III .h'S'
'',i'' Wt 'le ,lrws sasherer. ,.,,
W.. 10y any ,ieans, was 'nc reply. Wnel
a,;1 saI. that III s'i'7 "nu ~
h;. f'I, ',,',S I"t "0:o,,'l isi any .iliiis
nas;.n No. o,.,toI =. i;s. nv vi III w
49,, - :. W .it d ''N Mii.cii i1''i
~ ,l;,' - - ,,' IL =" il'o.: '"oooe.eo
s tInt ~" sno p:'o III ~, iiiii'''''I
V 49, VIM. , ".tS '''ii
noss I ,o,,';taJ n L., ,'t;.,' g si'I
- ,h ,o"i Io,' !. i.n I''an.ity vi p!o,i
l., 'aii.s .t .t !" Nv To'.h AM; Slch
, .,ii. LAW 'oiiio iiiIeri''
which seemed similar to the effects produces
bv macria. NV back WAS very weak bai
no appetite. and Mt times loafed food NJ,
li,s were parched and cracked Nv head fol,
as though it was entirely open at the ton an.
Il ,'a;nnj ,'o 81, ,ha f;,,t ~ NV ", an;
~ rl., ny h "i III S''u .c III ~
" ms, 'l th ' ,-n ''li'ia '";.y rom no p'
oS;.; o'I I',s III i'i''sU "icIc,'co
"What d;d the doctors say about vnusr
"Almo,t e,crvthin, cons,,ltsJ M ,as.
than six different ,hv,i,.ions TLev al troataG
me and non, did me any lo,oJ ii that finn
| was suffering intensely c,,,,1 nat Il. mn
ri,bt Int wa ,ll;,,nJ IT, re.t i, ,r.,',,nJ ~, i
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

He had just returned from his
wedding trip. and was going down
town in a horse car with his bride.
who, in all the pride of her new gar
ments and her new husband, was dis
posed to look down on humanity
generally, and on poor old man in
particular who sat opposite. who
is that dreadful looking creature,
Horatio?" she said "Tm sure l
don't know" replied the apple of her
eye, with slight blush and stammer;
some tramp, L suppose, who has
begged his passage. Just then the
aged person alluded to awoke from
his reverie, and, adjusting his specta-
Giles, quavered: why, bless me, if
that isn't my grandson. Horatio! and
that must be his wife! Don't color up
SO, boy; she's right pretty girl, and
you have no cause to be ashamed of
her" There was an audible smile in
that vehicle, which the happy pair
did not stop to hear the last Of.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31
matter: klotz will be here before
. I ! - xl,,,,. ,.,rvhfc

matter: klotz will be here before
long and set things to rights.
As for myself, l seem to have wings:
my loaded companions cannot keep
up with me; ! have even to stop oc
casionally to let them swallow a little
whisky. Thus we kept on for two
hours and half. We came up to
Orel at the passage. :,
Under Cape Habermann / picked
up. piece by piece, my various articles
Of clothing; then, when we had
reached the glacier, the men all made
themselves fast to the rope, and
took the lead.
How my heart beat! What had
happened during that terrible five
hours since l started.
The black gulf is there yawning
before us; not sound can be heard.
l throw myself down on the edge
and call him. First comes the an
swering bark Of dog; then hear dis
tinctly the voice of ZaninOvich.
Without losing moment we let
Halter go down into the crevasse at
the end OF the rope.
He found our man forty feet be-
low on narrow shelf, all huddled up,
still alive. but numbed through and
through.
Halter united himself, and made
Zaninovich fast in his stead. We
haul in with good will. The poor
fellow at last comes to surface, but
voice and movement are gone. We
bring him to with little liquor.
How powerful is decipline, even in
the most terrible emergencies! This
sailor, after escaping such fearful
death, speaks at last, not to complain
of what he had gone through, but to
thank me and ask pardon for taking
!, some liquor from one of the bottles
that had slipped out of the sled.
The rope was let down again, and
Halter fastens the dogs to it. The
dogs--it is not easy to see how-haC
succeeded in getting out Of the
', traces by which they hung over the
chasm, and had crawled up to the
shelf, where Halter found them close
up beside Zaninovich.
They seem to have taken the dan
! gerous position very patiently. will
! full confidence in us: for, as Zanin
: ovich afterward told us, they slep
,, quietly most of the time, SO that ht
, was afraid to move lest he nigh
push them down.
When we got them to the top, they
began to roll around in the snow an(
frisk about with every sign of glad
ness, coming up occasionally to licl
our hands.
Next we hauled up our sled and it
precious contents, only few unim
!, portant articles having fallen to thu
bottom.
1t was ten o'clock at night when VI
ended our fearful task, and all stoot
|. once more safe by the side of Zanin
ovich's crevasse.
!, 1t need scarcely be added that VI
started back with lighter hearts t.
;, our camp.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

Let it Goa lady who was suffer
ing under slight indisposition said
to her husband, 1T is with the great
est difficulty that 1 can breathe, and
the effort distresses me exceedingly"
"Then l wouldn't try, my dear; let
your breath CO." responded the do
nestle brute, in tones of pretended
sympathy
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

Dr. Pierce's "Favorite Prescription" per-
fectly and permanently cures those diseases
peculiar to females. 1t is tonic and nervine,
effectually allaying and curing those sickening
sensations that affect the stomach and heart
through reflex action. The back-ache and
g dragging-down sensations all disappear UNI
der the strengthening effects of this great re-
storative. BY druggists
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

A cucumber five feet long is ex-
hibited at New Orleans. 1t isn't size
that counts in cucumber, however
A little, stubby fellow, three by two
inches, has proven enough to expand
an ordinary sized stomach to an
acher
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

Taught their daughters that "a stitch in time
saves nine" A pill in time say es not only nine
but oftentimes an incalcaable amodnt of suffer
ing as we'll An Occasional dose of Dr. P.erce's
Pellets little Sugar-coated Pills., to cleanse
the stomach and bowels, not only prevents dis
eases but often breaks up sudden attacks, when
taken in time. By druggists.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

Where did you say all these won
ders happened, sir?" asked a gentle
man of loquacious traveller. II
really can't exactly say; but it was
somewhere in Europe--Russia. I
think" Il should rather think TIA
ly"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

The Daily An,eiger says: "Chief Superin
tendent Of Police, j. W. Schmitt, of this city
who has been in the service quarter Of a cen
tury, endorses st. Jacobs Oil as a pain-ban
isher. 1t cured him Of rheumatism.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

Two couples in Kansas enteredinto
a counting match for the champion
ship of the State, and the victorious
couple sat up forty nine hours.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31
NOBODY CAN DENY.

Consumers can depend upon NEW ENG.
LAND BAKING POWDER a. being n.
actly as represented. 1t 10 Cream Of farts
and 81. Carbonate Of Soda Of perfect purity.
scientifically combined NOTHING EIAE.
The price If the NEW ENGLAND BAK.
ING POWDER justi6es the use Of the vsy
best materials. Consumers pay fair prios e.
the best and get it,
1t is self evident that Baking Powdss, rsp-
resented to be composed Of the aame ma>aisls
as the NEW ENGLAND, and which n
sold to dealers at less than the pure msAssisA
themselves are worth, cannot be pure.
The large demand for NEW ENGLAND
BAKING POWDER, and consequent fSlline
of in the sales Of aiulterated and fnferioe pow.
ders, has developed spisefulnsss on the PA
of some manufacturers and dealers. FlndiaG
that the quality Of the NEW ENGLAND
cannot be successfully attacked. new brands
and close limitations, represented to be - sssd,
are put on the market. With these thsy @.
deavor to tempt dealers with low prica, asd
thus impose on consumers.
See that the name NEWTON BROS 4
co. in on every can.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

For weak lungs, splitting of blood, weak
stomach, night sweats, and the early stages of
consumption, Golden Medical Discovery is
specific By DRUGGISTS
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

DR.. A. T. Henak, GARFIELD, Iowa, says:
"Once using Browns Iron Bitters proves its
superiority over all other tonic preparations"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

at quiets the patient, and ultimately cures
him." a late ecomium on Samaritan Ne.rine
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

Mr. Oliver Myers, of Ironton.O., says: $50
marian Nerrine cured me of general debility"
Paw-Paw must be quite handsome town.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

The complicated diseases brought on by in
tense study, thought, care, anxiety, etc, are
often of the most serious nature. Heed such
symptoms as loss Of memory, universal las>i-
tude heart disease. kidney complaints, liver
troubles and a general breaking down of health
and strength. When thus afflicted, when the
least eXertion causes great fatigue, when life
seems burden. Use the reliable Strengthening
tonic, Browns Iron Bitters. twill afford you
sure relief
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

There is nothing letter for Poison Oak,
Cuts, Burns and Sores than MOTHER CARY's
SALvE. Price rs cts. Try it.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

just for exercise Miss Agnes Beckwith
swims ten miles every day, but never on an
empty stomach.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

The British Government says it does not
intend to enforce quarantine against vessels
coming from the Levant.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31
It's an i'll wind that blows nothing.

druggists say that Lydia +. Pinkhsm's
Vegetable Compound is the best remedy for
female complaints they ever heard of.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31
OUR GRANDMOTHER

SEQ as yon please" is one way of getting
along; but it is much better to please az you
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

M. Sam'l II. Pouder, Sheriff of WASHING
TON COUNTY, Tenn, says: Browns Iron
Bitters entirely cured Inc Of dyspepsia of three
years standing"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

The pen is mghter than the sword; but it i.
not quick in case If any disturbance
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-31

"Silence is golden" So is II pawnbrokers
s;,,p