The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-10-11
ALL SORTS.

Ranks high-Old butter.
A bright beginning-Sunrise.
Never behind-A mans beard.
A heated term-"You're liar!
The first rife team-The pickpockets.
The original yellow stone-The topaz.
Perpetual notion Revolutions in
Mexico.
Mother Eve originated the "fall" fash
ions.
Died in the wool-Mary's famous little
lamb.
Hire mathematics-The arithmetic of
wages.
Drowning men catch at straws, and 80
do thirsty men.
Honor makes the man; the want of it
the maneuverer.
The man who rides horseback always
takes back seat.
Positive ape comparative, baboon;
superhuous, dude.
A maiden heiress is the only miss that
makes social hit.
As far as the tramp is concerned all
roads lead to roam.
The hen is kind mother; but still she
sits on her children.
A common political combination
Whisky and cigars.
A tailor sews and rips, while the boo
seeks the rose and sips.
Kept in check-The young man sup
ported by q rich father.
Indians make good brakemen. Nobody
cares when one is killed.
The watermelon crop will be an utter
failure by Thanksgiving.
1t is at the quilting "bee" where you
hear the singing remark.
A scholar who is never far from the
head-the pupil of the eye.
No matter what the color OF circus
poster may be, it is always read.
Two things that always command re.
spect-money or powerful club.
Eve was the fret maid. This, how
ever, does not break the rib theory.
1t is only q man with pocketful of
rocks who can afford to throw stones.
The nearest Louisville man ever gets
to water is when he carries home Q
melon.
Many women are spoken of as angels.
and Mrs. Noah must have been an ark
angel.
Noah was pretty we'll fixed on poker.
He had at least o pair of everything in
the pack.
The liars must go.-Troy Times.
Good by.-Rochester Union. You are in
hurry to leave.-Troy Times.
The reason why the lightning does not
strike twice in the same place is because
nothing of the place is left to strike after
the first round.-New Orleans Picayune.
It is only the female mosquito that
bites. While the female is of hunting
blood, the male is holding q political
convention in the woods and setting up
the primaries for next years campaign.
Eek.
A Missouri man has invented fence
through which snakes cannot go. He is
about five thousand years too late. II
his fence had surrounded Adams garden
the world would have been saved lots Of
trouble.
This employing college students for
table walters at summer hotels makes
trouble. You see girls have very little
discrimination at times, and when q
young lady is introduced to q youth
whose father may be worth a million,
and she learns that he is q collegian and
asks: "Oh, were you waiting on table at
the Spray Cliff house last summer it
makes Q very EN- EMBARRASSING situation.
"Ssy, SIS" remarked the high school
chap we've got at the store; he don't
Il
to use proper langusge9" inquired the
high school girl, severely; "you should
not say he don't know beans, but he is
not sufficiently versed in botany to REQ.
ognize the matured ovule of q common
leguminous plant"
Folygamy is, according to Col. Godfrey
OF the government Utah commission, 70
be sQuelched BY creating a division in