Daily globe., 1883-08-02

comlng!" asked the summer hotel proprl-
etor of the porter. eyes, sir, guess ii
is" ''Then hurry up and put some ether
under the bulb of that thermometer on the
porch; they'll be here pretty quick, and
we must have it down to IS at least.''
'Mary, you little brat," came harshly
from the window of clean looking house
yesterday, 'come here and stop that rack
ct or I'll pound you black and blue all
over'-then the same voice in shriIl sopra-
no, II will sing of my redeemer." Are
these the echos of an ordinary family Cir
Gle?
One of the subjects to be discussed at
the Concord school of philosophy this year
is ''The distinction OF reality and poten-
TALLY from true actuality." Don't see
why the school should tackle that subject
as, in order to feel any interest in it, we
should suppose person would need to be
about two-thirds drunk.
If anybody deserves an increase in pay
it IS the fellow who scales your high wall,
nails his telephone wire to your roof,
chuckles in his boot-legs and strides off
without SO much as IF you please" or
Thanked" He ought to have the 25 per
cent extra. When people begin to shoot
the work will be worth so per cent more.
Ten years ago two loving hearts were
separated by little quarrel owing to the
miscarriage of an explanatory letter. He
went west and married; she staid east and
married, and now both are once more free.
lie has eight children and the iaundlce and
she seven and the dyspepsia, and neither
has any idea Of marrying again. Truth
may be stranger than fiction, but it is not
SO romantic.
Partisan wit: A vigilant sentinel is
posted at the door of a picture gallery
with strict orders of the customary charac-
ter. A sight-seer happens along and is
promptly halted. "Here, sir; you must
leave you cane at the door, 'But, my
friend. havn't got any cane" "Then go
back and get one. No one is allowed to
pass in here unless he leaves his cane at
the door. Orders is ordersr'
The late Baron de Rothschild once took
a cab to his Offices and on alighting ten
dered the proper fare. The cabman re-
ceived it, but kept his hand open and
looked at the money significantly, which
caused the baron to inquire whether it was
not right. ''Oh, yes" replied the cabman,
''it's quite right, but your sons usually give
me double" ''They do, do they?" was the
baron's reply; "well they have rich faith
er and can afford it; have rot"
Mr.. Peet, a rather difident man, was
unable to prevent himself from being in
troduced one evening to fascinating
young lady, who, misunderstanding his
name, constantly addressed him as Mr..
Peters, much to the gentIeman's disgust.
Finally, summoning courage, he bashfully
but earnestly demonstrated: "Oh, don't
call me Peters; call me Peet." 'Ah! but
1 don't know you we'll enough, Mr.. Peters,"
said the young lady, blushing.
After the strike on Thursday one of the
chief operators of the Western Union here
called up the operator at Culpeper, Va,
who is very good operator, though get
ting small salary and long hours of Ia
Dor, and said:
'Will you come to Washington to work
for salary CT $50 per month, and a
guarantee of five years?"
After making few dots on the key, the
answer came:
"Judas Iscariot died 1900 years ago."
John Wilson Croker, the curst critic of
that time, one day, with characteristic mod
esty and good breeding, entered upon
dispute with the duke of Wellington on a
question of gunnery practice, and kept it
up until the patience of that illustrious
warrior gave way, and he expressed him
self as follows: ''Well, I don't pretend to
know how the French revolution began or
the exact hour when Marshal New was shot.