The Evening critic., 1883-01-19
Remedy Against Barbers.
Texas siftings.

Texas siftings.
BARRIERS will talk. There is no help for
that. Their jaws have to keep time with
the movement of the scissors. 1t is not the
mere talking that is annoying, but it is
what they say, and their manner of saying
1t, that nearly drives n strong man crazy.
If, for instance, o barber were only to make
such remarks as-"what noble brow you
have" or "your dome of thought reminds
one of Daniel Webster or if they were to
abuse some man you do not like, the sitter
would listen very complacently, and some
bald headed people we know of would want
to have the ends of their locks trimmed
four or five times q week, just to hear what
the confounded fool of barber had to suy.
The trouble with BARRIERS is that they do
not say what you want to listen to. The
BARRIERS will persist in discovering that your
hair is falling out, and there is nothing in
Heaven above, or on the earth below that
will arrest the fugitive hair, except a bot
tie of each particular BARRIERS magic lotion.
Another thing that worries the barber more
than it troubles its legitimate owner is
dandruf. AS nine persons in ten have
more or less dandruff on their heads, the
barber has fine field to work in, as it
were. Dandruff is another dread malady
that is hurrying the unfortunate man into
his grave, unless he is willing to shell out
a relunctant half dollar for a bottle of the
same vile stuff that the aforesaid barber is
willing to part with for the consideration
mentioned.
AS it is about the season of the year
when most of the people have their hair
moved off, and as they will all have to go
through the ordeal we have described, we
purpose to give our readers few sugges-
tions how to stand off the fiend. OF course,
the eloquence of the barber can not be
closed off entirely, as gas is shut Off but
the colored barber can be temporarily dis
couraged. He will run his hands through
your hair and say
Boss, i kin glib yer remedy for fifty
cents what will knock dat ar scurff in yer
head colder den Wash JONES'"
Then you say
Look here, you have got one foot in the
grave. You liver is out or order l can
tell it by your complexion. Your COM
pleXion is too yellow. You had better get
bottle of Carter's Pills or Reeds Gilt Edge
Tonic"
He will be surprised if not shocked. We
tried that game on a barber, and his re-
proachful look will never be forgotten
while memory holds her seat. Usually
one application is sufficient, but OCCASION
| ally he rallies toward the close of the
matinee, his system reacts, and he says
| timidly-
eyer hasn't answered my question yet
boss, about de bottle of magic lotion for dc
| scurf."
All you have to do is to ask him he has
read DR.. Pillkins' treatise ON dandruff.
He will reply he has not, then you
say
'Dr. Pillkins' is of the opinion that dan
druff is produced by activity of the brain.
People who have torpid brains or no brains
| at all, are never troubled with dandrutf.
| What you need is some dandrutf. If you
colored folks had more dandrud in your
heads there would be more of you in Con-
| gress. If you don't quit curing white peo.
| ple's heads of dandruti, their brains will
dwindle away and they will set up barber
shops, and then you will have more COM
| petition than you will want"
| This last dose will cure the barber of
dandruff, falling out of the hair and what
ever else troubles him. After the above re.
medy has been applied, you can get your
hair cut ten times a day, and he will never
again venture to prescribe for ''de scurtfin
| yer head"