Smyrna times., 1883-05-16
WHOLE NO. 1853.
Current Comment.
PHILADELPHIA EvENING NEWS.

David Davis and his bride have been
travelling in California, where they
found some trees almost as big around
as David Davis himself
A pretty Georgia heircss is 50 afraid
that some one will marry her for her
money that she has bought some land
and gone to raising onions
A Chicago girl imagincs herself to be
an angel. She never had anyone to
talk frankly to her, poor thing She
should get married right off
The mayor of a Western CITY de-
clines to interfere with the delivery of
milk on Sunday. lie says milk is a
much of necessity as whisky
The skin-tight pants worn by youths
have one advantage: The average
dude when travelling can carry IN
extra pair along in his vest pocket
Paris is becoming favorite summer
resort for the New York upper ten.
Paris is place where YOU can drink as
much as you please without attracting
attention.
1t is wrong to laugh at the crooked
legs OF the young man in tight trousers.
but it is perfectly proper to laugh al
the tight troWsers upon tn" man with
the crooked leg
My gracious, sarah exclaimed
Farmer John: What are YOU setting
those old hen; for: send them to
market at once. Spring chickens are
selling az 60 cents Il pound.
Patti says music belongs to Heaven
rather than earth. Well. Patti. if the
angels are going TO charge u - seat
every time they sing We are -"rry W
have been 30 good. that. all
The Macon, tia, T!,grtJ,h SAYS that
a great deal that is attributed to
Yankee enterprise is really due to
Yankee self-dcnial. just 50. The en-
terprising Yankee generally keep
sober
The American FIRE. Tro,ler, copy of
which we have received. seems TO think
that free trade and 60 cents a dav for
: labor are such good things for England
: that America ought to have the same
t priceless boons
Barnm has thirteen Nubians as
I curiOsities. the claim being that they
! have a horror OF water for bathing
purposes. Now let him gather the
New York board Of aldermen under
: his canvas as q body of men that abhOr
h water for drinking purposes.
"Oh! we had such fun exclaimed a
: pretty maiden 10 her best friend.
0 Jack and Jim and Will and US girls
were playing Indians, and they chased
US all around the yard with pas guns
and one of the guns went of and scareG
old Mrs. Brown half out Of her wits
# How we all did laugh. Come over to
morrow we're going to play som,
more"
This is the season when the suburb
e an resident is reminded OF the fac
.GI that he visited in the city a good dea
Al during the winter and frequently wen
~ to the theatre at the expense of cit,
III cousins. The reminders come in tn
shape ef afiectionate letters from thos
n cousins limiting that it will soon b.
u u necessary to take the children to som
- place where they will have plenty o
~ ~ fresh air and pure milk.
Sc In China, as most people know, tn
a doctors are paid while their patron
til are well and get nothing while they ar
a sick. The medicines usually given ar
On dried snakes, pulverized: wasps an
lie their nests, centipedes, scorpions an
toads. Shrew doctors. They well kno'
. that no man with such doses in nrOSDet
wv will admit that he is sick until he gel
be both feet in the grave. hence the
ms incomes are sure while life lasts.
I Il