Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-05-16
Lime.Kiln Club Wisdom.


Judge Cadavar has lately fallen into the habit
| OF showing up at Paradise Hall an hour before
| the meetings open, and studying art with no
one to bother or make him afraid By q careful
inspection Of the busts of Caesar. Jackson, Clay.
Shakespeare. and Sumner. and by close inspec-
ton OF the three or four sacred pistols, the
four renowned swords and the half-dOzen chro-
mos, he has become almost connosseur. and
can almost tell the difference between a genuine
Renbens and q tea-stOre nlncna. .,S wa, OH
band =. =. ;;iir,.ul saturday evening Samuel Shin
left him standing before the bust of Caesar and
went down stairs after an onion. Upon his re-
| turn the Judge lay senseless on the floor. and
around him were the fragments of the busted
bust. The Judge had scarcely revived when the
meeting opened. but there was no shade of pity
| In Brother Gardners voice as he arose and said:
Judge Cadaver will be given two weeks to
replace de bust wild a new one havin' de same
squint to de left eye. In case he fails to do SO
| he viii be fined about 'leven hundred dollars.
Gemlen. dar' am few things would like to
| call your 'tensiun to. De seZun has now arrove
for pullin' ole hats and pliers outer de broken
winders, an seize de Occashun to ak you to re-
| member:
shOd man I'm de house.
dat red nose means hungry flour bar
rel.
Dat no man ebcr got work sittn' on de fence
an discussin' de needs Of de kentry.
dat de less pollyticks man has de mo- cash
he can pay his grocer.
dat arguments on religion won't build
churches nor pay de preachers.
Dat family which nebber borrOws nor lends
keeps nayburs de longest.
dat beauty will starve in de parlOr whar'
common sense will grow tat in de kitchen.
Dat de world am full O mice-hOles, an all de
cats need do am to watch an wait.
dat economy dOan' mean buyin' kaliker fur
your wife and brOad-clOth fur yerself.
dat progress doan' mean fittln' old doahs to
new buiIdns.
dat liberty dOan' gin you de right to eat
anOdcr mans chickens.
"Dat success achieved by rascality am fish
net made Of yarn.
"Lct us now purceed to attack the regular
prOgrammy O. biZness, an'.if dar' am any mo-
coughin' and spittin' ober in de fur co'ner sartin
pussons will witness purceedin's dat will cast a
gloom ODER de mex fifty vars"
Some weeks since Waydown Bebee an
nOunced in open meeting that he had discovered
direct motion of the earth from north to SOUTH
and he predicted very poor cabbage crop in
consequence. The subject was given to the
committee on astronomy to investissa and re-
port with power to eXpend tWenty-fOur cents
in experiments. and at this meeting the said
committee announced the completion OF its
labors. 1t appeared that Brother Bebee had
discovered the new motion in his own house.
All the furniture leaned to the south. and the
baby was constantly falling down in that direc
ton. Jar OF soft soap had worked clear across
the Kitchen In one night, and the family dog had
to lie with his head to the east or west. The
committee visited the house and made a careful
survey. and the result was the discovery of the
fact that the south side of Brother Bebee's CABIN
had sunk down eleven inches and was still
gong. Ihe theory OF q new motion was there
fore disproved and the cabbage crop was safe.