Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1883-03-03
HIS PA AN INVENTOR.
The BOY Assists to give the Thing "a
Good start.

The BOY Assists to give the Thing a
Good start.
Pecks Sun.
ala! Ha! Now have got your said
the grocery man to the bad boy, the other
morning, as he came in and Jumped
upon the counter and tied the end of a
ball of Irvine to the tail of dog and
''sicked" the dog upon another dog that
was following passing sleigh, causing
the Irvine to pay out until the whole ball
was scattered along the block. Con
denim you, I've notion to choke the
liver out of you. Who tied that twine to
the dogs tail?"
The boy choked up with emotion, and
the tears came into his eyes, and he said
he didn't know anything about the Irvine
or the dog. He said he noticed the dog
come in and wag his tail around the
Irvine, but he supposed the dog was a
friend of the family, and did not disturb
him. Everybody lays everything that
is done to me" said the boy, as he put
his handkerchief to his nose, land they
will be sorry for it when die. have a
good notion to poison myself by eating
some of your glucose sugar"
Yes, and you do about everything that
is mean. The other day lady came in
and told me to send up to her house some
of my country sausage, done up in mus
lin bags and while she was examining
it she noticed something hard inside the
bags, and asked me what it was, and
hope to never die if there wasn't a little
brass paddock and piece Of red morocco
dog collar imbedded in the sausage.
Now how do you suppose 1t got in there?'
and the grOcery-man looked savage.
The boy looked interested, and put on
an expression as if in deep thought, and
finally said, IL suppose the farmer that
put up the sausage did not strain the
dog meat. Sausage meat ought to be
strained"
The groeery-man pulled in about a
half-blOck of Irvine, after the dog had
run against fence and broke it, and
told the boy he knew perfectly we'll how
the brass paddock came in the sausage,
but thinking that it was safer to have
the goodwill of the boy than the ill-will
he offered him handful of prunes.
mo" says the boy, 81 have sworn off
on mOldy prunes. l am no kindergarten
any more. For years have eaten rotten
peaches around this store, and every
thing that you cOnldn't sell, but | have
turned over new leaf now, and after
this nothing lie too good for me. Since
pa has got to be an inventor we are 60
ing to live high" Aa
whats your pa invented? / saw a
hearse and three hacks go up your street
the other day, and | thought perhaps you
had killed your pa"
"Not much. There will be more than
three hacks when kill pa, and don't
you forget it. Well sir, pa has struck a
fortune if he can only make the thing
work. He has got an idea about coal
stoves that will bring him in several
million dollars, If he gets a royalty Of
FIVE dollars on every coal stove in the
world. His idea is to have a coal stove
scope in and out, and rubber hose for
one Joint, so you can pull the stove all
around the room and warm any paticu-
lar place. Well, sir TO hear pa tell about
it you would think it was going to revO-
lutionize the country, and maybe it Will
when he gets it perfected, but he came
near burning the house up, and scared
us all half to death this morning, and
burnt his shirt off,, and he is covered
with cotton with sweet oil on, and smells
like salad dressing. You see pa had a
pipe made, and some cast0rs put on our
coal stove, and had me put in some
kindllng wood and coal last night, so he
could draw the stove up to the bed and
light the fire without getting up. Ma
told him he would put his foot in it, and
he told her to dry up and let him run
the stove business. He said 1t took a
man with brains to run patent right,
and ma pulled the clothes over her head
and let pa do the fire act. She has been
building the fires for twenty years, and
thought she would let pa see how good
it was. Well, pa pulled the stove to the
bed, touched off the kindling wood. l
guess got bundle of kindling wood
that the hired girl had put kerosene on
cause it blazed up awful and smoked,
and the blaze bursted out the doors and
windows Of the stove, and pa yelled fire,
and 1 jumped out Of bed and rushed in,
and he was the scartest man you ever
see, and you'd dide to see how he kicked
when put pail of water on his legs,
and put his shirt out. Ma did not get
burned, but she was pretty wet, and she
told pa she would pay the 50 royalty on
that stove and take the casters of and
let it remain stationary. Pa says he
will make it work If he burns the house