Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-03
AFTER THE CORONATION.

nave llllSSttt Seeing WHdt L ttItt tudt
day for ten times the amount L paid.
-
AFTER THE CORONATION.
At last the much dreaded but high
ly necessary ceremony is over. The
soldiery have discharged their mus
kerry, the detectives their duty, the
Gar has been. safely crowned, and
Moscow is at rest The Nihilists have
packed up their dynamite and moved
to st. Petersburg. and the Gar and
CZarina. in the retirement OF their
iron clad bed-chamber, have been ell
gagged in a delightfully."- peaceful dis
cussion of the grand event in which
they have been the central figures.
And now, DEAR" said the Czarina,
yawning, and kicking off gold
mounted slipper, don't You think
YOU had better take off your things"
Ma aw, | don't" and the Gar
tilted his crown little further on his
ear and swaggered around the room,
flirting the tail of his coronation robe
in particularly aggravating manner.
Don't be a fool Aleck," snapped
the Czarina."
Il tell you l amt going to take this
crown off, nor | amt going TO take
this robe off neither, until l get
ready. I'm the Gar of all the Rus
sias. | am, and if want to so to
bed with them ON l can do it, and
don't you forget it,
This outburst of independence
completely Iumbfounded the Czarina,
and she had not a word to say as she
continued to divest herself of several
millions dollars worth of jewels and
expensive and highly perfumed
clothes, but there was an ominous
glitter in her eye that betokened any
thing but submission.
Il want you to understand that.
You, yes. you." continued the Gar,
a little frightened at hio own bolotacs,
and dazed by his wife's unaccount
able silence Then observing no signs
of a revolt, he added, Il been so
bothered about business here of late
that I've allowed you to do pretty
much as you pleased, but now that
Eve got this crowning affair off my
mind, / propose to run this establish
ment on new and improved plan"
and the Gar wheeled around in front
of a pier glass and viewed himself
with self satisfied smirk.
By this time the Czarina had got
down to her fighting clothes, and she
suddenly confronted the CZar with a
III Ill tIoronIor loJ lanrpo6 70
respect and which started him to such
an extent that his highly priced crown
toppled off and rolled under the bed
you've allowed me-you're going
to run this establishments shrieked
the Czarina. Come out of that robe
do you hearl"
J The Gar of all the Russias hastily
dlsrobed.
Leave that alone!' she yelled. a
the trembling man attempted to craw
under the bed.
Il was only going to get it for you,
t said the wretched monarch.
} Never you mind about getting i
! for me; you go to bed and I'll 'ten'
| to the crown."
: Needless to say that Alexander tn
/, Third retired Immediately, and befor
. the Czarina was through with hin
= that night he would have bartere'
C his kingdom cheerfully for quie
: corner in one of his own Sib0ra
s mines, terrors of dynamite wer
: double discounted Gin. Sat. Night
-----eA---------
: ARTFUL DopGEs.-Mr. Frank Buck
land used to relate an anecdote of
j traveller coming from America VIII
IL passed some hundreds OF cigar
: successfully through the Liverpo6
Custom House by placing a live raj
l. tlesnake in the chest to mount guar
y over them. Evasion of the law i
= this particular has brought its ow
n punishment more than once, for me
Q who have padded themselves wit
d tobacco underneath their clothiD
d have died from absorption of til
nicotine. Spirits are rarely SINUS
e gled by stratagem, owing to their 10
It value in comparison with bulk an
II weight and the difficulty of stiflin
l the characteristic bubbling 'clink" {
e liquid when shaken. and the Goa
e Guard Preventative Service has vel
nigh demolished the old trade I
5 landing large quantities from boat
Certain jars or kegs, labeled Spec
r mens-with great care-To the Cur
It tor Of the British Museum ha'
10 turned out to be full of the 5e
S French brandy, in which the ente
e prising naturalist to whom they b
IS lcnged had immersed few tn
leather efligies OF serpents and lis
ut but heavy penalties and reduced ia
is ifs of duty render this illicit traf
far less profitable than it used to |
IS i Chambers journal.
H. Some years ago somewhat Gu
~ GUS circumstance took place in Meie
,e, Parish Church. The prosecutor, ;
ter proclaiming the banns of mat
On mony between young couple, Cd
ng cludcd by saying: "If there be a
all objections they can now be state'
to A fashionable youth, an old admin
"a Of the intended bride, noticing
'es eyes Of portion of the congregatl
id: fixed upon him, rose up and
81 claimed: Il have no objections
ell my own part to the asionishment
of ali about him. and resumed his s
ora as if he had done mere formal pi
all of business.