The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-11-21
WIT AND PLEASANTLY,

Three score and ten is the average, but the
Philadelphia Call says that there are men in
that city who have a score in every saloon in
town.
Hotel Mail: "No," said new bride, al
don't anticipate any trouble in managing
Henry, / have turned that job over to my
mother. She has experience, she has,"
1t is said that woman may travel from
one end of Japan to the other, unattended,
without fear or moestation. 1t must be
very disagreeable country for women 90 live
IN.
Poor fellow, he went into a bookstore to
purchase polyglot Bible, but his tongue,
Glove to the roof of his mouth and he onlv
managed to ask if they had any pollywog
Bibles OH sale.
do ysu know who came to save sinners?"
asked Bible teacher of an honest Dutchman
who occupied a seat in the class. Is | heard
1t was Got" said Hans The questioner
shook his head. mo. no, my good Hans; it
was Jesus Christ, the Son of God" 'Oh. no!
So it was one of the poys? fought it was the
ole man." replied Hans
Edith" said mamma, you have told me
q wrong story. Do You know, Edith, that
you will have TO answer for it when you go
to the other world?" Twill ], mamma%' re-
piled Edith; well, Pm glad 1 shall have
something to talk about: il would be awfully
awkward to go there and not know what to
Say. -DOSbOll
81 thought" said the senior Baggles, as he
produced suspicious looking fiat bottle
from his sons valice, that there was nothing
but your surgical instruments in this bag"
That's what said" Then sir what do
you call this?'' ''That2 Oh. that's my eye
opener, dad; very useful instrument very
useful; indispensable, / assure you'll"
Two San Francisco women are atlaw about
q wedding dress, each claiming it; and the
iS on rnix cd hat no mr.
decide. Let him try SOlomon's scheme with
the women and the baby. Let him threaten
to spill plate OF soup or dish of ice cream
on the dress; the woman who screams and
calls him "a mean old thing" will be the real
owner.
Glow did you like my discourse this
morning.? asked ParsOn Goodenough of
Deacon Lightweight. the village grocer, as
they walked home from Church last Sunday
morning. Too long, brother; too long"
replied the frank deacon; II believe in hav-
ing everything short" "Yes, I've noticed
that in your weights, Deacon" said the sar-
castle parson.-Yonkers Statesman.
Did you ever think that when we get to
heaven-if we do get there-most profession
al gentlemen will be thrown out of employ
ment? The doctor will have nothing to do,
because everybody will be well; the lawyer
will have to take his sign down and seek
some honest employment, because there
the minister can't preach his old sermons
any more. because the people will be too
good to listen to them.
At meeting of temperance women, an
old lady got up to give her experience. ~
know something of the evils of rum" she
said, 81 have buried three husbands, and all
were hard drinkers. Bnt am glad to say"
she continued, that i didn't fight with
them. As soon as found they would drink,
got them to insure their lives heavily, and
let them go ahead. All, me! each one of
them died from the effects of liquor, but.
thanks to kind Providence each death
melted me clear $4,000"
my tear" said Mrs. Moses Schaumberg
tive ought to gif hardy to our frients. Dose
frients have all invided us to bardies und
we should return de compliment" .Dond
fret, Rebecca," said Nose, II hat Won pip
scheme apoud dot hardy. We will vail ondil
my birthday und den gif de bardy und our
trients Will pring in presents enough to bay
abide expenses. In dot way We will combine
peesiness nit pleasure, dond it?" Gwacious
Moses, vot pig head you hat got 1t vas a
great Wonder dey haf kept you so long dot
Legislature oud."
Little Nell: ''Now. Johnny. pretend that
this is our house, and Pm mamma and you
area gentleman and his wife come TO see me-"
JOHNNY: But can't be a gentleman and his
wife tOo." Little Nell: mo, of course not.
There is that horrid dog OF Jimmy Browns
on the porch. Bring him in and pretend the
dog is your wife," Johnny: ''All wight.
But you hate that dog, know you do"
Little Nell: "Oh, that don't make any diff
ference It's all pretend, you know. Coax
him in and I'll hug him and kiss him and go
Just like mamma does when Mrs. Blank calls
That's the way to be periite, you Know
Philadelphia Call.
OF course the following anecdote has not
the slightest reference to the judiciary of our
own noble land, Dut to the Institutions of
Justice in Central Africa A lawyer met
the Judge on the street, and failed to pay
him that Difference to which he thought him.
self entitled. Young man. / fine you s. for
contempt of court" said the irate Jddge.
why, Judge" was the quick response,
''you are not in session." The Judge drew
himself TO bis full height and replied,
.'Young man, this Court is always in ses-
sion, ard consequently always an object OF
contempt"
IL never saw a man who would pick up
his clothes and put them where they be-
longed." growled Mrs. Edsell as she slammed
her husbands pants across the back of a
chair. And l never saw a woman who