Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-02-16

odder has got bile comm ~ The aatiror
Just skipped his nose, and knocked Nevada
Simpkins Nash over backward into the ash
pan
School-boys composition: "Sneezes
There are many kinds of sneezes. some of
which are the soft sncczc which don't 70 off,
the long sncozc which doubles a man IN like
a hoop snake the hard snctz. which shakes
him all to pieces and throws everything ont
oil his vest pockets, and the makc.bellevc
sncezc, which comes when he is goin 10 kiss
the hired gll and don't, bccuz lie thinks
somebody is lookin. When snccze | al.
most always take the gum out Of my mouth,
but ma takes out teeth and all. Our minis
ter sncczcd at supper the other night and
snozc cigar out Of his pocket into the s,up.
This was after his tcl.in' us Snday.sclool
boys not TO look upon the cigar when it vas
red. ! can't think Of anything more about
sncezcs except 10 say that there arc many
other kinds, too numerous 10 mention. |
once saw a cat sncczc. She got her nose full
of rcd pepper, but can't tell how tic pcpper
got there, bccuz ma told Inc never to tell nnv
secrets eXceptip' TO her
Montreal las professor Of horticultural
Abscission and Crlnolo5cal Tripsis," and
he has two shops; whether you get nb.
session at one shop and have to go to the
other for tripsis is not stated
Young Augustus Pobiniay bought lin Il
flute and all the cats moved out of the
neighborhood. Some of his friends get TO-
.ethcr and exposulated with him, but he wa,
deaf to reason. AT last one of them sal 49,
Augustus will you sell your prac,ice:'
"Oh, yes-a V will buy it," Young Pop.
Inlay got five dollars, and the neigh or5
went away rejoicing Next night the pliin-
tive sounds of the flute sourcd the evening
air, as usual. The ncglbors began t. as
scmolc, and finally two of them were del
egatcd to wait on Augustus. lie took the
wailing reed from his mouth and babe them
be seated "See here, young man, they b.
gan, didn't you sell US your prac ice las,
| night ~ Certainly" Then wha' in the
name Of the Great Double Tougucd Piper Of
Jericho, are You footing away now for:"
I'm getting some more practice ready for
SALE was the oily reply.
The insnr,,,o l,r,,o,,,. ,.,,. ,.,,....;..,..
risks it is willing to take gu, { never 81 caks
of the risks the policy.hol Ter runs ii the
president trying change q air -Pprh.
People who don't understand why parrots
are invariably so vicious in their discourse
must be stupid. What would You cxpcc,
from bird but fowl talk Bosioa Past.
Railroad engines are now pr,yitod with =.
hose and pump to throw water ON burpip',
cars. but when train Inns iInrpd the t,n.i,
the engineer Is too busy di rgipg himself nu,
Of the debris to think If rynr,7mrn,ir., ritb
the pparutus.-Uwht'S 1ruc,Y,rt V1qt-
1H6.
A Boston preacher delivers l,c.,ros ,,.erv
Monday. If lhe,c ever is a limo n"S,,ro ncoi
the consolation of religion il is on wnsh,i,y
PHilod,l,Lja Ne.rs
The Young lady Of tic Adjective WIS e,snd.
ing on the denot platform vc,tcrinv ""J
casting a wisiful Glance ocrcss tha h,rr'.'
fields sighed YEARLY. "It is inst reolIy bnr.
ridly awfully mean that sic5 cl,arnin'.
| lovely fun on The dniirionsiv snail TO-,
should be destroyed by the hateful rlar. Of "a
searching sun. '-IfickeHsdci H,ppiHclH.
\ Local Applica,iou. Anrclca BclIevuc-.
And do Won look so much like your hr',;,-
err" Auru,tus "Drouio nf Fnbn.
sus looked not more like Dronlio of Sra.
cusc," Angelica Belleyue-"I be- your
pardon, what is the name Of your friend in
| Syracuse have a cousin IN Syracuse -
Life.
Amrcb ,I,rsod ol ,,,r
nails, oaiiinc, in, ,,Yi w. ~ .H'o'l1l DIT
stoned him.erf .Y'",s r'u eSSF
.',an r',i '"'' ''"'e'' many "'-
~