Mexico weekly ledger., 1883-03-29
SMALL TALK.
~ I

7 I.7
Colonel Horace Greedy Jackman,
the erudite md aesthetic editor Of the
'Laddonia Laconicsl Easerprise, In ad-
dition to his other arduous duties, is
farming. He has rented 20 acres Of
land near town and will farm during
his leisure hours. Jackman is am
bilious. He wants to get to the front
If not in the journalistic, at least
in the agricultural world. He will
arise at 8 q. m, milk the COW, chop
the wood and then pillow 8 or 10 acres
Of prairie land before breakfast. Al
ter breakfast he will assume his edi-
torial duties and tell his readers how
to plant watermelons on the hillside,
how to raise corn during q dry sea-
son, how many grains of corn to put
in a hill, how many seeds Of wheat to
SOW to the acre and what time Of the
moon to plant peas or dig potatoes.
He will spend the afternoon in setting
type and perspiring. After sup
per, and until near midnight he will
cut and bind oats. Jackman is in q
fair way to get riches, experience, or
to the lunatic asylum. On stock
sales day he will be in Mexico with
the biggest pumpkins the airs of corn
with the most grains and with the
tallest bluegrass, etc., in the county.
Any time Bro. j. wants any one to
help him thin corn, weed potatoes
kill chinch bugs or to keep the crows
out Of the corn if he will send US
word we will send him down our re-
porter, E. E. Bean, or Tom Doty to
assist.
A collection was taken up last Sum
day in one of our churches for the
benefit of the little cannibals. The
hat was passed around and the usual
number Of dimes, quarters-with and
without holes and buttons were
dropped in, some freely and some re-
luctantly, for some people don't care
no more for a dime than they do for
a fat COW. Among the pocket pieces
was a S. gold piece, as the small boy
who sat near where the hat was left,
found out.s During the sermon bust
ness instincts got the best Of him and
he did not listen to the sermon as his
father before him had done. Before
the sermon was over he had, with ar
| eye to business, exchanged a silvel
: dollar he had in his pocket for the S;
= gold piece. His conscience, like tina
of many older persons, would not lie
him take but four-ifths from the can
: nibal fund. Monday morning tn
e young man went to his father to ge
r his SIS gold piece changed. The oil
: man looked at it, turned it over
looked at his son, then looked at tn
coin, then at his son, to whom b
u said: "My son, I will keep thi
u for you.' 1t was a.guilded nicke
. which he had dropped in the hat Sur
day for SIS gold piece. He ca
never guess how his son got il
;. Chickens will come home to roost.
He looks and feels like the dev
} had him, but he has not as yet. HI
face is as long as a fish story and jus
: about as narrow as the facts in til
same story. When you speak to hil
he grunts. When you smile h
scowls. When yon ask him how b
" likes this kind of weather he say.
y "Don't like it, No matter if it's tt
finest in the world. He don't like th
. weather. He don't like the blue SIX
. or the green grass. He dislikes tt
bright sun and pale moon. He
~displeased with the singing bird an
the quiet hen. He is bothered by tt
playful dog and cross cat. tt
shadow of the man he meets on tt
" street annoys him. He wants tt
sun to rise later or set sooner. tt
court house is not in the right plat
= Or the clock on the top of it don
face the right way. 1t is not tt
right time Of the day, anyway. E.
erything is the wrong color. Ever,
thing is out of shape. Everything
not as he would have made it. Ever,
body is a fool-he is a fool himse
and is not sorry about it. Ever,
W body know he is a fool, but he don
care and is glad of it. And SO {
until we would wear out a gross
y lead pencils. Such is the writer
y small talk when he has the dyspepsi
a He always has it when he writes S.
III
-"