davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Press., 1883-04-26

The Smile and the Tear.

"What are you ?" said tear, To smile playing near. ssWith fiickering simmer
 You transiently glimmer On the meaningless features of mirth; But you nothing express
 Of the anguish and stress That make up mans portion on earth" "You are rather severe"
 Said the smile to the tear 'sFor as day, to shine bright,
 Needs g background of night, V So grief must be bordered with gladness, And the light of a smile,
 More than once in while, .. Helps tear to unbosom its sadness"
The Press., 1883-04-26
When William called to see his girl,

When William called to see his girl,
 Which he, of course, thought proper, He often popped the corn with her,
 And thus became pepper. And long before the winter passed,
 Although he'd scarce copper, He asked if she'd become his wife
 He still remained pepper. Five years have passed, since they were wed By good old Parson Hopper; And now he has two bouncing boys Who always call him ''papa."
The Press., 1883-04-26

The most noted instance of "change of tune" occurred when Napoleon returned to France from Elba. That famous war rior had been banishsd to the island of El- ba, but seeing affairs ripe for revolution he landed suddenly, made his way through France, gathered together a grand army and started out to conquer Europe again, only to meet with lasting defeat at Water loo. At the time of his escape from Elba, the Paris paper called Le Moniteur, pub- lished the following bulletin:
 The monster Napoleon has escaped from the island of Elba. A few hours later Le Moniteur issued another bulletin, which read: General Bonaparte has landed on the coast of France.
 That same evening Le Moniteur an- nonnced
 Il
The Press., 1883-04-26
"THREw AWAY HER SUPPORTER. D.

"THREw AWAY HER SUPPORTER. ."-Dr. PIERCE "A neighbor of ours was suffering from ''female weakness which the doctors told her conld not be cured without sup porter. After considerable persuasion my wife induced her to try your "Favorite Pre- scription." After using one bottle she threw away the supporter and did large washing, which she had not done in two years before.
 4246 Jacob Street, Wheeling, Wa. JAMES MILLER.
The Press., 1883-04-26

Ben Johnson, the celebrated English play writer, said, ''to speak, and to speak we'll, are two things" The patrons of Wheat Bitters all combine this difficult attribute. They speak uniformally well of the cures which at tend the use of the Bitters. Have you tried | them, reader?
The Press., 1883-04-26

the most hurt" Kidney-Wort does it's work like the Good Samaritan, quickly, unostenta- tiously, but with great thoroughness. ANew Hampshire lady writes: "Mother has been afflicted for years with kidney diseases Last spring she was very i'll and had an alarming pain and numbness in cue side. Kidney Wort proved great blessing and has con- pletelY cured her.
The Press., 1883-04-26

PERsoNAL.A young lady of seventeen summers, highly educated, refined, and of proposing appearance, desires to form the acquaintance of some nice young man, whom she would advise, if troubled with dyspepsia, tprs. ef4SN
The Press., 1883-04-26

Additional trains leave Hartford for Bristol-s30 g. m., 8.4s pm. Return 5.4s, IS m and 453 p. m Hartford for Rockville 33 s.5s, 1.5s 8. m,,
 4.43, IFS p. m. Rockville for Hartford-7.2s, 9.23, a. m. .se ..-
 125s, 5.03, 6.33, 7.0Sp.m WIILIMANTIc AND PROVIDENCE. ... Willimantic for Providence-10.53 .53 a.m, 3.23 p. m. Providence for Willimantic-s.4S .4S a. m., 4.0s p. m
 s. M. HILTON JR., Gen. Manager ADaily A. c. KENDALL, Gen. Pass. Agt.
The Press., 1883-04-26

If you have tried all other remedies and they have failed, remember that Crosby's minute cure, which never fails when applied as directed, will cure all aches and pains. At Druggists.
The Press., 1883-04-26

At St. Anne's Sunday school, in Lowell, in answer to the question, 'What is the greatest church festival ?" little orphan of years promptly answered, Strawberry festival"
The Press., 1883-04-26
THE NEW PATENT
 DUST-PROOF STEM WINDING OPEN FACE CASE. MANUFACTURED sBY THE I< American Watch Co.,, ~s7sFsr 2e.g esgs4 y . sS ss s +t ss g s2 R. .4
 wALTHAM, MASS.

This case is formed in solid piece without joint or seam, opening in FRONT ONLY, thus avoiding the usual CAP, and securing greater strength and dura- bity.
 These Watches all OPEN FACE. The bezel, into which extra strong crystal is fitted with especial ly prepared waterproof cement, is attached to the by screwlng it thereon, and thus forms an air. tight junction with the body of the case, which is proof against dust and moisture.
 To railroad men, travellers, miners, lumber-men and others who almost constantly exposed and who have to make frequent reference to the watch, these qualities are of the utmost importance.
The Press., 1883-04-26
The following letters tell their
 own story:
VALEosTA, GEORGIA, July 2(

VALEosTA, GEORGIA, July 20, 1882.
 'I sold one of your Patent Dust Proof Cases about ten months ago. and the other day it back to me with the request to make wind easier. On exami- nation found that the stem rusty, and inquired into the of it. The gentleman stated to me that he starting some saw-logs that had lodged in the bend of the river, when his chain caught in bush and threw his watch into about twelve feet of water and he about two hours finding it. When he got it out it was running, and he thought all right. In about three months he found that the stem was hard to turn and sent it to me.
 l can say that the watch is all that the company claims for it, and recommend it to all railroad and mill men. .s-. B.. w. BENTLEY"
The Press., 1883-04-26

A travelling printer, for want of employ ment at his trade, went to work on a farm. He came one day to ask his employer if hen should be set solid.
The Press., 1883-04-26
Stafford Springs Conn

| Pittsford, Mass Sept. 2S, 1878.
 S1Rs-I have taken Hop Bitters and recom- mend them to others, as found them very beneficial. MRS. J. w. FULLER,
 Sec, Woman's Cristian Temperance Union.
The Press., 1883-04-26

A book just published is entitled, ''How to Make $500 Yearly Profit with 12 Hens" We have not read the book, but we suppose the authors recipe is to sell the corn they would annually eat and then kill the hens.
The Press., 1883-04-26
Real Estate. Forsale orRent

! nEsIRABLE FARM FOR SALE Situated 1( in West Willington minutes walk from store, post-ofice and depot; minutes walk from ron, church plenty fruit; good house and barn, also blacksmith shopa first class stand, to be sold with farm sep- arate. Apply to Mrs. Wm L. Edgerton, ,on premises, or John w. Edgerton, Holland.
 HARM FOR SALE-Coptainipg 10 Acres k with good House and Barn, near Moose Mea- dow, Wilmington, on main road leading from Stafford Springs to Westford. Fruit trees good water, cuts hay sufficient for horse and COW.
 Stafford Springs, Jan. 1ss8 FRANK ORCUTT. { tOOD BUILDING LOTS For M Sale. Inquire of E. BENTON 5
 Stafford Springs, March 9th.
 WANrED-To exchange a good House W in Rockville for house in Stafford Springs. Inquire of J. s. SMILEDGE.
The Press., 1883-04-26

Bridgeport, Dec. 18th, 1SSz
 HOME TESTIMONY TELLS. An honored son of Connecticut says ssI have used the Amer ican Cough Drops and consider them invalu- able I think that every family ought to keep them as certain aeyiation of sudden colds and similar complaints. DWIGHT MoRRIs Ex.-Sec'y or state.
 Mr. A. R. Scofeld of South Norwalk, Gen. Ticket Agent of the Danbury & Norwark R. R. Co.,, says he never had anything work so like charm on hard cold as the American Cough Drops He tried them and found them invaluable. This famous 'old reliable remedy is made in Middle town in this state, and it's home consumption in Mid dletown whore has never been advertised selling on it's merit alone is something enormous; can bet ter testimony be given in it's favor
 It is liuud not a eonfection or lozenge 35 cents bottle at druggists it will pay everyone to buy g bottle to keep in the house in case of emergency
The Press., 1883-04-26
The great preventive against d4phtheria is Potaska, a world-renowned specific for all dis
 orders of the throat Sold by all drugs gists.

| A CARD.-To all who suffering from the and ndiscretions of youth, nervous weakness early decay, loss of manhood, &c, will send re- great remedy was discovered by missionary in South Amerlca. Send self-addressed envelope to the Rev. Joseph T. mman Stati0n U., New York City
The Press., 1883-04-26

CLINTON, Iowa, April 29, 1881. "I wish you would send me spring for the Wm. Elery Watch. By the way this Ellery is 8 watch sold in your Screw Bezel Case to farmer last fal The first of January he lost the watch in he weods and found it this week in about one foot of water. It had lain three months and over in and water with but slight injury to the watch-only a hair-spring c. s. RAYMOND" The above very severe tests, and demonstrate beyond doubt, that for any reasonable length of time during which watch might be under water it would receive no injury whatever s F -s We make these cases in both gold and silver, and as a Perfectly Dust.PrOOf Stem Wind- ing Watch Case, Challenge the World to Produce It's Equal.
 FOR SALE BY ALL FIRST-CLASS JEWELLERS.
 12apam
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-10-05
Whv Widows Win.

Are widows really so fascinating? The
popular impression seems to be that
single women are placed at an extreme
disadvantage when brought into compe-
tition in the matrimonial race with
those of their sex who have once worn
the orange blossoms and who have been
compelled by cruel fate to assume the
sable habiliments of woe. Strange to
say, widows themselves do not share in
this almost universal opinion. There is
not one of them who does not believe
that she is heavily Handicapped" so
to say, in the contest, and who would
not gladly exchange places, If she
could, with her single sisters. The at
tractive widow, nevertheless, carries of
the bachelor sweepstakes very often,
leaving her spinster rivals pale with
envy and wild with rage. Her con-
quests, however, are very much exag-
gerated. Widows who have not a COM
Portable bank account or a corner lot
find it as difficult to elicit proposal as
other dowerless members of the sex.
Whom we first love we rarely marry
has become truism, and herein lies
the advantage of the widow with large
dover right. The old admirers return
and the old flame is easily relighted.
Beauty in distress with a good-sized
package of government bonds is some.
thing quite irresistible. ~ T. Journal.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-10-05
Name hty Turkish Beauties.

The government is poor, it Is harass-
ed with many weighty questions be-
sides the means of defense against
cholera. Yet it has found time to enter
upon Il crusade against the fair sex, and
it finds the ladies harder to deal with
than the car himself. During the pres
emit month, when all moslems observe
the fast of Ramazan, those who can
afford it lie abed through the heat of
the day. By night, however, the city
is all astir. From 10 o'clock until mid
night all the Turkish ladies who can
find carriages take their drive through
the most fashionable squares. The
jam in such places is tremendous. One
night the chief of police was promenad-
ing in search of evils to be cured, and
he observed these great lines of carri-
ages full of ladies passing along under
the eyes of the young men of the city
standing on either side of the roadway.
And then he saw, to his horror, ladies
lean forward and smile at the young
men, and even wave handkerchief from
carriage windows. He saw handker-
chiefs dropped from the carriages, by
accident, and he was morally certain
that the young men who politely hand
ed them back to their owners delayed
long enough to squeeze the fair hands
that received them. All these things
were gall and NORWOOD to the old
gentleman. The next day an order was
posted though the city prohibiting ladies
from driving after nightfall. This OF
course raised storm which Is not yet
appeased. 1t has drawn out the start
ling and reasonable claim from some
of the ladies that they have equal rights
and privileges with the men! 1t is OF
course to be expected that the Turkish
ladies will win in this matter, in spite
of police and the fact that Turkish
dictionaries do not admit such word
as filtration. : Con stdntinopLe.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-10-05
A GOOD THING.

Il sometimes wish could take hold of
the sale of Thomas Eclectric Oil for tell
you it is agrand thing, and am conscien.
tious in saying 1 could do good work. !"
Rev. f f. Crane, Cory, Pa.
Eclectric Oil cured this gentleman of
quinsy of many years standing.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-10-05
Excited Thousands

All over the land are going into ecstacy
over DR.. Kings New Discovery for Con.
sumption, Their unlocked for recovery
by the timely use of this great Life Saw
ing remedy, causes them to go nearly
wild in its praise. 1t is guaranteed to
positively cure Severe Coughs, Colds,
Asthma, Hay Fever, Bronchitis, Hoarse-
ness, Loss of Voice, or any ELECTION of
the throat or Lungs. Trial Bottles free at
Osborn Bros, drug store. Large size
S1.00. 9
Chicago TO Indianapolis and return for
five cents.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-10-05
An Irish schoolmaster.

"Well, tits good thing we have the
schools in the country, whatever" an.
swered Mrs. Brady. when was
girl there wasn't u school, to say
school, nearer than ten miles, let alone
old Mike Flaherty's, God rest his soul,
by the side of the road and faith, he
knew better how to talk about Vanus
and Orion than to tache English or
writing or the ciphers. He'd make
fine poetry, though. 'Twould next to
make the tears come into your eyes to
hear the elegant words he'd use, and
not one but himself and others like him
to know in the world what he'd be
naming. He'd write in English and
Latin an Irish, and we used to larn
them often, for he'd like to hear us re-
pate them and he'd be aisy on us.
Whist while; l think might have a
song yet. my father would be saying to
me the time was going to the school
to the old man. Twas an old song,
one of them that went before wrote out,
making game of the scholars that were
the only teachers before the union.
Twas this way it went:
my name is o'sullivan. a most eminent teach.
MY qualifications will neer be extinct:
I'd write as good Latin as any In the nation;
No doubt I'm experienced In arithmetic.
"And then. Hanny. the boys would
be singing all together and stamping,
the way you'd think the house would
fall:
"And letus be drinking. drinking, drinking.
And let us be drinking and kissing the girls:
And let us be drinking and dancing to music;
Is it not better to be drinking than dying OF
thirst?
"rd write good letter on paper or parch
ment,
I'd Oonstrue an author and give the right
sense;
I'd court the fair maidens unknown to their
parents,
And gaze on their charms without evidence.
And lot us be drinking, etc.
"I'm counted the valiant at congregations;
beat the courageous and humble the bold
No doubt I'm descended from noble Milesians;
BY heroic fame my name is enrolled.
And let us be drinking, etc.
"I'm proficient in bright elocution;
BY prosodys rule govern my tongue,
l journalize bookkeeping without confusion;
I'm son to the MUSES., from Parnassus sprung
And let us be drinking, etc.
"'Twas just that sort poor old Mike
was; there was no end to him. Dos
ton Post.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-10-05

Old Nat, while a crowd was stand
ing around, approached the general de-
livery window ut the postoffice, the
other day, and, slyly glancing at the
crowd, said "Gimme my corresponce,
young man. Use been so busy dat /
didn't hab time ter come fur it dis
mawnin." The clerk handed him three
letters, and proudly walking away, he
muttered: Il put desc letters in heah
myself dis mawnin. A mans got ter be
mighty sharp ter keep up wild de white
folks desc days; an chen 'mong de cui.
led folks his standin' is reggerlated by
de letters he gifts. ginerally manages
ter paralyze de brudrin. and Use got
my teeth set fur de office OBJ County
Jedge. I'll step roun' heah ter night
an put desc documents in ag'in."
+. M. Lamb, of Tillamook, Oregon,
claims to have the largest rose bush in
the world. Six inches from the ground
the stock is two and three-quarter
inches in diameter. and its height is
nine feet.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-10-05
A California Idiot.

The Saratoga correspondent OF the
Brooklyn Eagle says: A very hand.
some young lady, whose name is A.
w. Rich, from California, and on her
wedding tour, has created quite SEN
sation in Saratoga. She is stopping at
the Grand Union, and is to be seen
walking up and down the piazza Of the
hotel for hours ut time in company
with beautiful little black and tan
dog. She seems to be wonderfully
fond of this pet. The little creature
was made wedding present, and cost
S40O The lady ordered for the dog
earrings and gold collar of special
pattern. The earrings are worth
$4,000, and the collar, which Is studded
with emeralds and pearls, is worth
$4,000. This lady and her pet are not
only the talk of the town, but have
created the greatest sensation known
here for years. A servant is provided
to feed the dog and attend him when
his mistress does not have him in
charge. The dog answers the name OF
Darling" He must be seen to be
fully nnnreciated
Farmers wishing TO be successful with
sheep should guard them against exposure.
But II in sheltering his sheep the farmer
exposes himself and catches cold, he must
use DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup.
Pedestrians are puzzled over Hazael's
sudden departure to Europe.
Boston wins the base ball championship
The Art Loan is a success.
DR.. j. G.. Mcclure, Anamosa, Ia, says:
81 know Browns Iron Bitters Is a good
tonic and gives general satisfaction"
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-10-05
A Blessing to all Mankind.

In these times when our newspapers are
flooded with patent medicine advertise
ments, it is gratifying to know what to
procure that will certainly cure you. If
you arc bilious, blood out of order, Liver
inactive, or generally debilitated, there is
nothing in the world that will cure you
so quickly as Electric Bitters. They are n
blessing to all mankind, and can be had
for only fifty cents bottle of Osborn
Bros. 9
At the adjourned term of the Cir
cult Court, held at Corunna, Judge
Newton over-ruled the motion for a
new trial in the cause of Steinhoff,
convicted of murder in the Cd de-
gree, and sentenced the respondent
to the state prison for 80 years. The
action of the Judge will meet with
general appreciation in this city.
Z. o. Dewey is in Lansing this
week attending the fair.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-10-05
STATIONS.
EAST.
WEST.

Connections are made Mt ST. IGNACE with
The Michigan Central Railroad for Detroit and
all points in Michigan and in the east, south and
south east. Trains leave Mackinac City $40 am.
and 80 PIN.
The Grand Rapids and Indiana X. X. for Grand
Rapids, Fort Wayne and the South and East. Leav-
ing Mackinac City at $50 PIN.
Connections made at MARQUETTE with:
The Marquette, Houghton and Ontonagon Rail-
road for the Iron and Copper Districts.
Through tickets on sale at Marquette and st.
Ignace and ut all points in the northern Peninsula.
Also tickets to European ports by all principal lines
at Gen'l Pass Agents office. ..t.
For information as TO passenger and freight rates,
apply to office Of General Freight and Passenger
Agent
Trains daily except Sunday.
d. MCCO0L. FRANK MlLLlGAN
Gen1 Supt., GenI Frt. Il Pass. A9t.
Marquette, Mich Marquette, Mich.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-10-05
TRUTH CRUSHED TO EARTH

Is bound to rise. Crowd down ard
smother the truth as you may concerning
Thomas Eclectric Oil yet the facts will
rise up that 1t is one of the best remedies
for aches, sprains. and pains that has ever
yet been invented.
An ear of corn containing LOO well
matured grains was grown in Crosse Tete,
T,ouisana
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-10-05
The I,ime-Kiln Climb.

"lf Clarence De Melville Bungs am
present wild us tonight, should like
to spoke to him." said Brother Gardner
rs the meeting opened.
Brother Bungs was on the back row
with looking-glass in his hands and a
new brand of hair oil on his hair. He
rose up with scrape and bow. made
great spread of blue silk handker-
chief, and finally stood before the Pres
ident's desk.
"Brudder Bungs," resumed the old
man, IL reckon you am de purtiest
member of de Lime-Kiln Club. You
puts lie on yer hair, wax on yer NOUS
tache, an de perfume on yer clothes re-
minds me of de wild roses of Var
ginny. Yes, you am de purtiest an
sweetest one of de lot"
Eyes, sah," replied the brother,
while his face betrayed the fact that he
was tickled half to death.
''But-by de way, Brudder Bungs,
what am your present biznessp"
'Tze out of q job jist now, sah."
"When you work how much do you
airnp"
"As high as seben dollars a week,
sah."
'.Jist so. Am dat suit O. clothes all
paid furp"
mo, sah."
"An' you am how many weeks be-
hind on yer boardp"
mot ober six, sah.'
''An' you owe dis lodge $3 duesp"
Eyes, sah."
can you owe members here as much
as 800 fur borrowed money"
''Ize borrowed some, sah.
.'Brudder Bungs, TIE had some
'sperience wild purity men, an nebber
seed one yet who wasn't a fraud on de
word manhood When man sots out
to be purity all de boss sense leaves his
head. No man kin labor and be purity
too. He darfo' let's work alone. He
beats his board, his tailor, his shoe
maker, an all his friends. He looks
KILN, an smells like cologne factory,
but he doan' pay up. Ebery smile
beats somebody outer twenty-five cents,
an cherry giggle costs somebody half a
dollar. I'ze had my eye on you fur
some time"
..Yes, sab"
"Six months ago YOU had steady
work, good pay. respectable clothes an
was outer debt. You sot out to be
purity, an to-day you wouldn't sell fur
huff to pay yer debts. You smell aw-
full nice, but you owe q $26 board bill.
Your HAIR curls beautifully, but de tailor
am whistling fur his money fur dat suit.
Your form am elegant, but you has
borrowed money until no one will lend
you anoder cent. You smile like but
tercup an raise yer hat like Chester
field, but yer butes amt paid fur!''
.'Ize gwine to squar' up, sab.
MAYBE you is, Brudder Bungs, but
it am too late, so fur as dis club am
consumed. Secretary?'
"Yes, sab"
Scratch de name of Brudder CIar-
ence de Melville Bungs off de rollr'
"She's dun scratched, sah.'
"Janitor!'
Eyes, sah.'
Escort dis pusson to de alley doah!
He am gwine out OWN us fur dues, an
wall, nebber mind"
There was no need to post the JAM
tor. Every one could picture him as he
cleared space to swing his right leg,
and if anybody doubted that Clarence
de Melville Bungs was Gifted" into the
alley he had only to listen to the labor
cd breathing of the Janitor rs he re-
turned to his seat Detroit Free Press
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-10-05
IN A FEW WORDS.

We do not claim that ZoPEsIA
will cure everything, but as a
Liver REGULATOR, and when the
stomach and organs need invigcr
ating 10 healthy action in case of
weak digestion, it aeM cure. For
habitual costiveness. which effects
the whole system and the head, to
a degree that units one for work,
ZoPEsIA acts certainly, quickly
and pleasantly. Those trying 1t
the first time are surprised how
quickly it relieves the whole sys-
tenn; single dose relieves.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-10-05

"'Twas just that sort poor old Mike
was; there was no end to him. Dos
ton Post.