The National tribune., 1883-05-24
The Jolly ,yokers.

Nature was wise when it ordained that
chickens should not have teeth. II it were
possible to look into a chickens mouth and tell
its age, like that of horse, by its teeth would
be square give away on the farmer who was
trying to palm off an old hen as young pullet.
philadelphia Herald.
A New York man who sued railroad for
killing his COW, has lost his case The railroad
company proved, by seventeen witnesses, that
the schedule of the road was pasted on a fence
right where the COW could see it. and besides.
that the engineer winked four times at it. but
the reckless animal would not take the hint
RiHsbHrg Telegraph.
Lawyer" You say you made an examine
ton Of the premises. What did you fnd?"
Witness" Oh, nothing of consequence; beg
barly account of empty boxes as Shakespeare
says" Lawyer" Never mind what Shake
speare says. He will be summoned and can
testify for himself if he knows anything about
the case."-BoSton Transcript
"Remus, VIVA come o. We las Sunday didn'
see yer to de church" ~ was dar, Sam1: I
passed de- sasser" "Oh, dat counts fo' not
seein' yer. 70 see dars been so much beggin'
goin' on round ter de chueh OBJ late dat now
days mans gotter go down putty deep ter fin
sufhn', an l speck / muster bin down in der
bottom OBJ my pocket browsin' fur change when
70 KIM along, an course l could'n see yer rom
dar."- Yonkers Gazette.
Tompkins as juryman: "The idea of put
ting John on a jury!" exclaimed Mrs. Tomp-
kins, when she heard that her husband had
been drawn. They might as well order q
new trial right OFF. They won't get John to
agree on a verdict He is the most obstinate
man | ever saw. | never knew him to agree
with his own wife in anything, and it isn't at all
likely he's going to agree with people he don't
know anything about A pretty juryman he
is!'-BOston Transcript
They were talking about pioneer DAYS in
Michigan, when man over by the stove called
out: Say, Uncle Billy, presume you have
heard the scream of a panther in your day."
Well, mebbe, and mebbe not" replied the old
man. " lived next door to your grandfather,
and when heard screams ! was never quite
sure whether it was a panther over in the
slash or your grandfather and his wife having
one o their spells, which ended in the neigh
bors assembling next day TO coax the old woman
to come down from her tree and make ND with
him."-Detroit Free Press
Old 81 was asked by one of our merchants :
81, do you know darkey by the name of
Davisf" sissero Davis wild de red eye dat
got burned in de powder sploshin ?" eyes. he's
the man" "Weli, kno's him" "Is he reli
able| "Gun'ull, but it ponds moughty ON de
bizness dat he's gagged in at de time!' ''What
business would he suit best in as a porter ?p
"Cii' " ocA ye ue Hat-iooGeu, unSophlStlcated
TRUE, dar,s one place whar dat niger could
Wuck an be ez homes ez de day and OATS en-
porter IN er realistic! In dat case de oner 'ud
De liable ter fine de propurty allus jess whar he
Iel NIT The gentleman named Davis was not
| engaged. Georgia Major
colored man was hanging around one of
the opera houses the other evening, in a man
ner to show that he was deeply interested in
what was going on inside, and gentleman
1nally said to him: "Why don't you go in {?
Under the civil rights bill you can take a seat
IN parquette circle" "Yes, sab, I knows all
bout dat, ah," was the reply Under de chill
rights bill ken take any seat in de house. but
under the present strain on my finances I
couldn't buy two shingles if hull opera houses
war sellin' for ten cents apiece, ali. Detroit
Free Press