Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-03-07

if he did just to encourage us boys
in innocent passtime, that was so i'm,
proving to our intellex. We had shut
the goat up in closet in my room,
and he had got over blatting, so we
took off the henkerchief, and he was
eating some of my paper collars and
skate straps. We went up stairs and
told pa to come up pretty soon and
give three distinct raps, when we ask
him who comes there he must say "a
pilgarlic who wants to join your
ancient order and ride the goat. Ma
wanted to come up too, but we told
her if she came in it would break
up the lodge, cause woman couldn't
keep a secret, and we didn't have any
side-saddle for the goat.
"Say, if you never tried it, the next
time you nishiate man in your
Mason's lodge, you sprinkle a little
kyan pepper on the goats beard just
before you turn him loose. You can
get three times as much fun to the
square inch of goat. You wouldn't
think it was the same goat. Well
we got all fixed and pa raped, and we
let him in and told him he must be
blindfolded, and he got on his knees q
latin and | tied towel around his
eyes, and then / turned him around
and made him get down on his hands
also, and then his back was right
towards the closet door and | put the
buck beer sign against pas clothes
He was laffing all the time and sait
we boys were full of fun, and we tolC
him it was Il solemn occasion, and W,
wouldn't permit no levity, and if he
didn't stop lafiing we couldn't give
him the grand bumper degree. Ther
everything was ready, and my chun
had his hand on the closet door anc
some kyan pepper in his other hand
and | asked pa in low bass tones il
he felt as though he wanted to turn
back, or if he had nerve enough to go
ahead and take the degree. warned
him that it was full of dangers, as the
goat was loaded for bear, and told
him that he yet had time to retrace
his steps if he wanted to. He said
he wanted the whole bzness, and we
could 90 ahead. Then | said to pa
that if he had decided to go ahead
and not blame us for the consequences,
to repeat after me the following :
Bring forth the royal bumper and
let him bump Pa repeated the
works, and my chum sprinkled the
kyan pepper on the goats mustache,
and he sneezed once and looked sassy
and then he see the lager beer goat
looking up, and he started for it, just
like COW catcher, and blatted. Pa
is real fat, but he knew he had go
hit, and he grunted and said, 'Grea
Scott, what are you boys doingY anC
then the goat gave him another de
gree, ithd pa pulled off the towel ant
started for the stairs limping, ant
when | looked over the banisters, p;
and ma and the goat were all in
heap, and pa was yelling murder, AM
ma was screaming fire, and the goa
was blatting, and sneezing, and bunt
ing, and the hired girl came into tn
hall, and the goat took after her, AM
she crossed herself just as the goa
struck her, and went down stairs tn
way the boys slid down hill, with bot
hands OH herself, and the goat reare'
up and blatted, and pa and ma wen
into their room and shut the door, ant
then my chum and me opened tn
front door and drove the goat out.
"Our minister, who comes to seem
every week, was just ringing the bel
and the goat thought he wanted to b
/ nishiated, too, and gave him one, TO
; luck, and then went down the side
, walk, blatting and sneezing, and tn
minister came into the parlor and sal
he was stabbed, and then pa came OF
' of his room with his suspenders hang
, ing down, and he didn't know th
{ minister was there, and he said Gus
words, and ma cried and said h
should not swear, but pa said he didn
> care, he would kill the kussid goa
e and | told pa the minister was in I'll
S parlor, and he and ma went down an
{ she said the weather was propitior
!, for revival, and none of them 50
down but ma, cause the goat didn
:. hit her, and while they was talkin
a relidgin with their mouths, and kussi
e the goat inwardly, my chum and N
o adjourned the lodge, and l went an
: stayed with him all night, and
hadn't been home since. But / don
a believe pa will lick me, cause he sal
+, he would not hold us responsible ft
{ the consequences. He ordered ii
g goat himself, and we filled the orde
don't you seeY Well, guess | wi
" 90 and sneak in the back way an
!, find out from the hired girl how Il
r, land lays. She will not 60 back 9
}. me cause the goat was not loaded f
q hired girls. She just happened to g
T in. at the rong time. Good by, 81
! Remember and give your goat kya
d pepper in your lodge"
d AS the boy went away, and skippe
o.,o, tba hoot fo,oo tho 0racarymr q