Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-12-28
THE TROUBLES OF A POET.

i -hsuS, was oittiilR La LIS outCe one
day, man whose brow was clothed
with thunder entered. Fiercely seiz-
ing a chair, he slammed his hat ON the
table, hurled his umbrella ON the floor
and sat down.
care you the editor?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Can you read writing"
"Of course"
"Read that then," he said, thrusting
at the colonel an envelope with an in
scription on it.
"B-," said the colonel, trying to
spell it.
"That's not B; it's an s." said the
| man.
"S? Oh, yes; l see. Well, the
words look little like Salt for Dinner, ;
or Souls of Sinners said the colonel.
ono, sir" replied the man, nothing
OF the kind. That's my name-Sam'l
IL. Drummer. Iknew you couldn't read.
! called to see YOU about that poep Of
mine You printed the other day. on the
'Surcease or Sorrow"
81 don't remember it," said the
colonel.
| "Of course you don't, because il went
into the paper under the infamous
title of 'Smearcase To-Morrow.'"
ga stupid blunder of the compositor,
] suppose"
eyes, sir; and that is what want 10
see you for. The way that poem was
mutilated was simply scandalous.
haven't slept night since It exposed
me to derision. People think an ass.
Let me show you.''
"GO ahead" said the the colonel.
"The first line, when wrote it, read
in this manner;-
Lying by a weeping willow, underneath n
gentle slope
Thatis beautiful, poetic, affecting. Now,
how did your vile sheet present it to the
public? There it is. Look at it,! Made
it read this way
"Lyins to a weeping widow, to induce her
to elope.'
Weeping widow, mind you! A widow!
This is too much-it's enough to drive
man crazy"'
Tm sorry" said the colonel:
"but-"
"But look a-here at the fourth verse;"
said the poet; "that's worse yet What
l said was:-
"'Csst thy pearls before the swine, and lose
them in the dirt
l wrote that out clearly and distinctly,
in a plain round hand. Now, what docs
your compositor do? Does he catch
the sense of that beautiful sentiment?
Does it sink into his soul? No, sir!
He sets it up in this fashion,
"'Cart thy pills before the sunrise, and love
them If they hurt
on mans feelings? I'll leave it to you
if it isn't?"
otis hard, that's fact" said the
colonel.
"And then take the fifth verse. In
the original manuscript it said, plain as
daylight
"Take away the jingling money; It is only
A man with only one eye, and cata-
ract over that, could have read the
words correctly. But your pirate up
stairs there-do you know what he did +?
He made it read
"Take away the jeering monkey. ON .
sorely glandered hoss'
By George! felt like Draining him
with shovel! l was never SO cut up
in my life."
alt was natural, too" said the
colonel.
''There, for instance, was the sixth
verse. wrote:-
"T am weary with the tossing Of the ocean
as it heaves.'
1t is lovely line, too; but imagine my
horror and the anguish of my family
when l opened your paper. and saw the
line transformed into -
"I am wearing out my Trousers, till they're
open at the knees.'
That is little too much! That seems
to me like carrying the thing an inch or
two too far. think have con-
stitutional right to murder that combosi.
tor; don't your"
81 think you have"
"Let me read you one more verse.
l wrote -
Il swell the flying echoes rs they roam
among the hills,
And | feel my soul awaken to the ecstasy
that thrills
Now what do you suppose your miserable
outcast turned that into? Why, into
this -
"I smell the frying shoes as they roast
along the bulls,
And peel my solo mistaken in the erctasy
that whirls.'
Gibberish, sir, awful gibberishl /
must slay that man! Where in he"
"He is out just now" said the
colonel. "Come in Tomorrow"
81 will" said the poet and will come
armed"
Then he put on his hat, shouldered
his umbrella, and drifted off down
stairs.