National Republican., 1883-03-03

But you must not perish ike Paris,
Nor be your Helen Of Troy.
"Itis not tho thing that is done, love,
But the way that we do II. my dear,
Which sets oil society ravlng,
Aud shocks II from center to sphere.
The old days hayo passed away, darling.
Those wicked old ages OF force;
But I'll write to my lawyer tomorrow.
And tell him TO get divorce"
THIS idea Of putting money aside for rainy
day seems 10 US rather foolish. There is not much
fun to be had on a rainy day.
THERE are now only thirty-six establish
mensin Cologne each selling the true and only
eau. In 1929 there were sixty.
Missouri acorns are shipped to England in
large quantities where they are planted by the
societies for renewing and maintaining the forests
Of the country.
THE cars coronation throne Is to cost $8,-
900. We understand that in the contract II Il
stipulated that II the throne is not needed tho
manufacturers arc to take II back at a reduction
of2O per cent.
SOMEBODY suggests that IL would bo o sem
sible scheme to erect monument 10 "Anony-
NOUS" tho most voluminous writer who ever
slung ink.-NeiO York Commercial Advertiser. Mr..
Ex. wrote two words TO his one.
THE last suicide at Monte Carlo, by dis
unguished officer, whose name Is withheld out OF
consideration for his family, makes. II is said, the
twelfth since october. The management has pro-
vided an equisite cemetery for these victims.
THE Eatonton Chronicle, Georgia. has an
editorial with tho title. "Is It right to send our
paper TO a negrof We have looked at the sheet
very carefully, and think you might with pro-
priety send 1t TO negro IL you don't charge him
anything for it.-Rochsster Post Express.
TEAcHER-"What bird did Noah send out
OF tho ark7" Smallest boy In the class (after
pause)-" Dove, slr" Teacher-"Very we'll. But
should have thought some Of you big boys would
have known that Tall pupil" Please, sir. that
boy ought to know, sir, cause his fathers bird
ketcher, sir"
AN astronomically inclined lawyer at Pesth,
has bequeathed s4OO to the Hungarian academy
OF science, to be offered prize for the best
luton OF the question how the inhabitants OF the
earth may be enabled to communicate with those
of the moon. Anglo Saxon law would hardly sus-
tain such bequost.
ACCORDING to q sanitary engineer only one
plumber In twenty-five knows anything about
scientific plumbing. According to another au-
thority but one plumber in twenty Ave fails to
amass fortune of 100000. This shows that II
plumber Is honest and works hard he can get
along very well With science
A CUSTOM house officer at Calcutta finding
somo vases with nude female figures upon them,
confscated them as immoral" lie subsequently
learned that they belonged to Lord Ripon, vice.
roy OF India and were copies OF European master
pieces He thereupon resigned his postlon-not
| as custom house inspector, but as censor OF
morale
THE English sparrow Is said to be excellent
on toast. With good microscope the eplcure can
see to stick his fork into u nicely Drowned spar
row, and, with a new instrument to be known as
a tasteograph, he can ascertain that he has some-
| thing In his mouth.-Baryord Post. This writer
is evidently nearslghted, but what mouth he
must have l-RoeheSter Post Erpress
OSCAR WILDE, IL is said, has presented to
his mother half OF the money out of which he
swindled the American people. Some Of the east
ern papers give him great praise for the act. and
kindly admonish him TO remain forever hereafter
| close by his mammas apron strings, for fear
| should he ever get away from her again ho would
be obliged to ask her to divide with him, that he
might get back to her.
NEW York society has decided that when
| gentleman and lady meet on the street the one
who first secs the other should bow. SO we learn
from "society" item; but It doesn't explain
| whether the parties should be acquainted or not,
though we think they should--etiquette or no
etiquette. II they should happen to pass without
seeing each other, we suppose the bowling formula
may be dispensed with without giving oflense TO
| either party.
PROF. BOIL announced several years ago
that the retina Of the eye retained tho last
| Impressions made onsit previous TO death, aud
recommended that in cases Of murder tho VIC
TINS eyes be promptly examined with power
ful glass, or photographed by the use OF strong
| lenses, by which means, he thought, picture Of
the murderer might frequently be obtained. DR..
Ayers has Just finished n series of experiments, in
which he examined over a thousand eyes OF ami
| mails and persons but failed to find single inn
preston on them that could be construed Into the
form Of the last object beheld The nearest ap-
proach was by phoographing the eye Of rabbit
that had been paralyzed by atrophine, but that
was too imperfect to be of any use whatever.
THE influence of bad teeth in producing
dyspepsia is illustrated by a peculiar incident
that comes from the geological gardens The at
tendants were disturbed for several nights by the
mullied mewIng OF a cat After All investigation
the noise was located In the stomach Of the chief
anaconda, and was connected by tho attendants
with the loss oil favorite tom cat, who had been
missing for some days The snake, also, appeared
to be In considerable distress The cat was liber-
ated by the "CGsarian scctlon," chloroform hav-
Ing duly administered. Advantage OF the oppor-
tuuity to study the serpents mouth was taken,
and several decayed teeth were found. Tho best
Of them were plugged and the others were pulled.
Within few weeks tho same anaconda swal-
lowed a very old and cross bull dog, and digested
him with apparent case.
THE Salvation army is having hard time
IN the work of arousing religious activity In SwiE
eland. The Swiss, while not over scrupuloui
regarding political agitatons carried on within
their border not disposed to tolerate any at
tempt 10 create religious enthusiasm. This feel
ing has led the radical government OF the canton
Of Geneva to cause Miss Booth and one of her CO.
workers 10 be banlshed from that district and a
Lausanne they have met with no better treatment
The ostensible reason for this action is that thu
Salvation army gave rise to riotous acts on thu
part Of those who were opposed 10 Its work; bu
II hardly needs to be pointed out that 1t was thu
duty OF the authorities TO dlsperse the rioters, an(
not 10 arrest those whom the mob was assailing
Tho truth Is that there is a large measure OF by
pocrlsy IN European radicalism. The men whit
have reyolted from church rule are quite ready
when the opportunity offers, to take the Initiative
In prosecuting those who have still belief In tn
Christian faith 1t Is only among those OF tn
Anglo Saxon race that the principles of religion
freedom and liberation are understood.
A ToU RIsT recording his impression of tn
city of Cleveland states that he was especial
struck with the elegant tombs Of granite and mar
Bile in the Lake View cemetery, built not in o
under ground, but on 1t, after the pattern Of YER
elegant little houses. "Here and there were to b
seen, one or more having stained glass windows
ornaments at doors and gates through whlc
could be seen the interior. Everything insld
was of marble, and the collins rested on shelveI