Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-07-28
LIME KILN CLUB COMMUNECA.
TuONS~
Brother Gardner ExpOumds His Notions
+aA5 Upon Badness.

-"A' Upon Badness.
From the Detroit Free Press.
The secretary announced the following SCI
entifc query;
Bro Gardner:
DEAR SIR-Can the club give any scientific
explanation for the head growing up through
tine hair as the cycle of time rolls round? This is
a phenomenon for which have long sought an
explanation, and as q last resort appeal to you,
well knowing the thoroughness with which you
go through anything. By answering you will
greatly oblige an admirer
ARKANSAS SAWYER.
Columbus, o.
Elder Penstock began to rise up and clear his
throat, but the president wilted him with
glance and replied:
IF de members of dis club will take keeful
squint at de top of my head dey will be as
last fo'ty vars. Dat is, de top Of my head has
growed above de ha'r. Why fore? Bekase
men W ar hats an caps, an hold de ha'r down
an discourage It. Gin de ha'r chance an it
would grow de fastest. Discourage it wild a
comb, har lie. dye stuffs an hats an caps an 1t
am left behind in de race. De wool which was
once on top of my head am now jlst above my
ears an still losin' ground. De only remedy dat
know Of am to place weight on top de head
an leave it dar until de har has chance to
cotch up"
How to Escape Cramps i'm Swimming.
A correspondent of the New York Sun says
that cramps are brought on chiefly by the bather
going into the water oyerheated and staying in
too long. To avoid cramps one should battle
frequently and not stay in too long-that is.
over fifteen mnutes-until such time as he has
become so accustomed as to fear no danger.
In case of any one being taken with cramps in
n
keep your presence of mind, turn over on your
back, and float until you feel the cramps relax,
then resume swimming gently, not violently.
Repeat this as often as the circumstances may
require, and by so doing you will escape the
danger usually accompanying cramps. This
remedy know to be safe, having been several
times taken with the cramps in the water, and
each time resorted to it with safety.
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HumOr Of the Strike.
From the Mail and Express.
About II O'Clock this morning, an old man of
about seventy years. arrayed in faded buster
and clutchng grpsack in his hand, entered
the sccretarys Office in the Western Union build
ing. He deposited his gripsack on a chair, and,
after placing his ancient headgear on Table,
remarked to one of the clerks: ~ heerd there
was strike and that youse fellers was in need
of men. l live over in Jersey. and I've been
misfortunate, and 1 thought Id jist come over
here to work"
'Have you ever been in the telegraph bust
ness?" inquired the amused clerk.
mo. to tell the honest truth, never was
But I'm kinder handy, l am, and can pick any.
thing up right quick. l guess l can learn al
about the telegraph in two or three days. Say
boss, do you think kin ketch On:'
The clerk blandly replied that he did not be
lieve there was "a ketch' for the old man. The
company had engaged enough men already.
Just my luck" exclaimed the old man, spite
fully, as he took his departure.
The South African Diamond Trade.
From the London Evening Standard.
The diamond trade has collapsed of late, but
we may suspect that revival is anticipated
shortly by those experienced gentlemen who
control 1t. Private digging ceased long ago or
! the South African fields under variety O
causes, of which the fall in value was not the ont
most pressing. Great companies replaced indi
| viduals, and they, independent Of a daily return
| have allowed the market to settle before apply.
| ing their full strength, Not displeased they
saw ''the reef fall in on every side, and tn
water rise. Such few diggers as fingered al
give up profitable claims. were driven to sci
| by the neglect Of their big neighbors
And so, we are informed. the busy koPes be
came silent, the myriad diggers slowly dropped
| away. grass grew IN the streets. The cOmpa
MES now seem to think that their hour is ap
preaching. They have been working here an
there to pay expenses; but it was not wort
while hitherto to put out all their energy. TIL
Kimberley mine is being cleared, the fallen rec
| removed, the water pumped out. At the pre-
sent time the operations Of the united compa
MES cost thousand pounds day, and sine
they are resolved to finish In three months. it
calculated that this rate will grow. Startling
returns must follow when New Rush is leve
area, which may be dug like field nearly so
feet below the level Of the yeldt.