The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1883-12-20

come great thinker once salQ
Don't commence to write an article /
for publication until you are full of
your subject !" An editor who in
tended to write an article on "beer"
remembered this advice, and got so
f,tll Of his subject lie couldn't sit on
= chair, m,,cl less write the article
Netrspuper Union. !
? "What are you crying about!"
asked \ kind heart cd stranger of lad
who was standing in front of news
paper office weeping ~ if his heart
would break. 20, dads gone up
stairs to- lick the editor" ''Well,
has he come down yet!'' pursued the !
gentle Samaritan. "Pieces of him !
have" explained the boy, INDUCING |
II, a fresh outburst of tears, land I'm
expecting tho rest every minute.
Brooklyn Eagle.
A ghost that terrified one portion
of Syracuse, N. Y, for several nights,
turned out to be 4 feeble.minded girl
who would escape from her room and
roam the streets in her night gown.
Before the real ghost was discovered
there wasn't woman in that part OF
the city who would look outdoors
after dark tor good many nights
and it was also noticed that some of
the men stayed. at home and amused
the baby with unaccustomed regu-
larity.-M.
An Iowa statistician has been fignr.
ing on the cost Of the maintenance of
dogs in that state and finds that the
yearly outlay is $4,000, 600. 1t safe
to say that Minnesota sxpends about
the same sum in keeping up its army
of thoroughbreds, ours and monde
scrips. Eight millions is a great
deal of money to waste every yeat in
dogs, and many citizens Will consider
tn expenditure to be entirely useless.
How much more happy would the
people be were this money diverted
from the dog channel and expended in
something useful. Cats, for instance!
l-Er.
A woman waiter in an exchange,
who signs herself Zone who is
Ready says she is thirty-seven
4 yeare old, and still single; and adds
that she is as young in heart rs ever,
and ''thinks thirty.seven is a delight.
full age to marry" 1t is all right to
think .sos but the probabilities are
that she will DO one hundred and
thirty.seven years old before she sue.
ceeds in inducing young men to enter
tain q similar opinion-unless she is
Erich. Money is powerful element
4 in effecting matrimonial alliances,
and woman needn't worry about her
age if she has tho gold.-Norristo,o,.
Herald. =
Man that is married to woman is of
many days and full of trouble. In
the morning he draws his salary, and
in the evening behold it is gone. 1t
IS tale that is told; it vanisheth and
no one knows whittier it goeth. He
iraiseth up clothed in the chilly gar
| inents of the night and sesketh the
semna!ubulent paregoric wherewith
to soothe the colicy bowels of his
infant posterity. He becomsth as a
horse or OK and dra weth the chariot
of his offspring. He spendeth his
shekels in the purchase Of fine liner
to cover the bosom of his family
yet himself is seen in the gates OF
the city with one suspender. Yea
he is altogether wretchea.-Bay Git,
Tribune.
Not the Man Who Was Wanted.
! evil you please settle this bill,
sir!" said a collector, coming into a
brokers' Office on Third street.
"What's it for!''
''It's your water tax, sir, past due. -
"What!''
"Your water tax, SIR
"Why. you blamed fool, you've got
into the wrong Office! I'm democrat;
the pro1ibitionist you are looking fol-
is in the other side of the hall. Good
morning."