davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1883-07-25
Periodicals..

The ,Strarbridge & GOthier Quarterly
for September is replete with all the
latest fashions. Every lady ought to
have copy.
Harper's Magazine for August is
brilliant number. Geo. P. Lathrop's
admirable paper, "The Heart of the
Alleghanies"; C. H. Farnham's paper,
"The Canadian Habitant and T. w.
Higginson's paper, "The British Yoke"
are prominent features, each beauti-
fully illustrated. There are some fine
portraits of famous American horses
engraved for Hugh Craig's interesting
work on that subject
LippincOtts Magazine for August has
variety of articles especially suited to
Summer reading. The opening illus
trated paper, "A Holiday on French
Rivers" by Theodore Child, is an
account of a boating excursion, and
very interesting. "a Hunt in
the Ottawa Valley; "a Day at Lake
Tahoe; "HydrophObia," and other in
teresting articles go to make up a first
class number. LippincOtt'sis is splendid
magazine.
In keeping with its midsummer holi-
day character, the August Century con-
tains an unusual number of short
stories as well as poems and articles
adapted to Summer reading. The
number offers, in addition to the most
entertaining part yet given of Mr..
HOwell's "A WOman's Reason" the
first part of a stirring romance called
"The Breadwinners," which will run
through six numbers of the magazine.
The scene of the story will be easily
recognized as flOurishing city ON Lake
Erie. 1t is anonymous to the editor,
as we'll as to the readers of the maya
zine.
Frank LesIieS Popular Mdgazine.-
The August number is remarkable for
the variety and excellence of the con-
tents. Among the leading, profusely
illustrated articles are: "The Home of
Illustrated Literature" Ia description
| ofthe Frank Leslie establishment "An
Adventure with Two Gentlemen of
E Verona; "The Garden of England" {"
by N. Robinson; "The History of a
a Playhouse" by Henry Tyrrell; "The
3 Coronation of the Car, Alexander
y Ill.,; "The Real Lord Byron" by
: Alfred HI. Guernsey, ETC., etc. The
S PAIGE is only 25 cents a number; So a
+ year. postpaid. Address, Mrs. Frank
IS Leslie, Publisher, So, 55 and 81 Park
= Place, New York.
Frank Leslie's Sunday Magazine for
August is even more brilliant than
usual; the variety and excellence Of
the contents are highly creditable to
the editor, and commend it not only ia
h religious but to general readers-they
IS combine most edifying, entertaining
j. and instructive reading. No. VII. O.
Religious Denominations in the United
~ States, "What is Episcopacy?" is con
tributed by Rev. Charles H. Hall, ID
N D.; there are portraits of the lat
Bishops Claiming Moore, of Virginia
and Wainwright, of New York. "Th'
u American Pilgrim in Palestine" b.
~ De Leon, and "Among the Natives O
&c the North" by Lieutenant Schwatks
~ are continued. The editor 7. De Wit
Talmage, contributes "Helpfnlness,
st and sermon to the Home Pulpit
ON "Spice in Religion" The miscellan
'rt is abundant and the illustrations pre-
re- fuse. No family should be withou
this excellent magazine. Price 25 cent
let copy; So a year, postpaid. Mr.
ne Frank Leslie, Publisher, 5S, 55 and
is Park Place, New York.
rAWW
Smyrna times., 1883-07-25
Summer Prices at Oak Hall.
Lower now than for years past.

To speak with rural friends through the outof-
town press is too slow to tell daily story. We
ouv give general facts here and claim visit to Oak Hall
for details Of this be certain Oak Hall will always
v the best bargain The best service at the least cost
IS our purpose regardless of profit and loss
To-day the popular bargains are Mems 5000 True
Blue Ar-Woo Flannel Suits, Mems $500 fancy Cass-
mere Pantaoons and Large Boys Ayrshire Cashmere
Suits at $425. Half prices only They will be continued
and are only referred here specimens of what we will
do for you when you visit
Smyrna times., 1883-07-25
Current Comment.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

st. Louis proposes to do away with
it's church bells. Their noise interferes
with the peaceful meditations of citi-
zens in the faro parlors.
Pope knew what he was about when
he wrote: "The proper study of man.
kind Is man." 1t in studying woman
that the impropriety begins.
"Just my luck" moaned Philadel-
phia man. "Here I've been paying
heavy premiums ON q life insurance
policy for 90 years and I'm not dead
yet"
The picturesque village of West
Chester is credited with the possession
of AGO widows; but possibly the report
was started by some rival Summer re-
sort.
A fashion item says "the darned net
craze affects large part of the feminine
world" Well, suppose it does. It is
brig sight better than the darned tidy
craze.
General Sheridan drove a village
watering cart before he went to West
Point. This explains the famous ride
to Winchester. II was the result Of
habit. Drivers of village watering
carts always travel that way. They
are afraid some of the water will spill
out. 500.
It Is said Senator PendletoR car
throw an empty champagne bottle in
to the air, whirling it over and over
and can shoot into the mouth ant
knock the bottom out every time with
out injuring the bottle otherwise
Who says Senator Pendleton is not
statesman?
Smyrna times., 1883-07-25
The Life of Man.

Man, born of woman, is of few days
and no teeth. And, indeed, it would
be money in his pockets sometimes if
he had less of either. AS for his days
he wasteth one-third of them, and as
for his teeth, he has cOnvulsions when
he cuts them, and as the last one
comes through, 10, the dentist is twist
ing the first one out, and the last end
of that mans jaw is worse than the
first, being full of porcelain and a roof
plate built to hold blackberry seeds.
Stone bruises line his pathway to man.
hood; his father boxes his ears at
home, the big boys cuff him in the play
ground, and the teacher whips him in
the schOol-roOm. He buyeth North
western at 1.10, when he hath sold
short at SO, and his neighbor unloadeth
upon him Iron Mountain at 63 5-8, and
it straightway breaketh down to SO 3-4.
He riseth early and sitteth up late that
he may fill his barns and storehouses,
and 10! his children's lawyers divide
the spoil among themselves and say,
"Ha, hap He growleth and is sore
distressed because it raineth, and he
beateth upon his breast and sayeth,
"My crop is lOstr" because it raineth
not. The late rains blight his wheat
and the frost biteth his peaches. If it
be so that the sun shineth, even among
the nineties, he sayeth, "WOe is me-
for perish" and if the northwest wind
sigheth down in fOrty-twO below, he
crieth, "Would | were deadw If he
wear sackcloth and blue jeans men say
"He is tramp!" and if he goeth forth
shaven and clad in purple and fine
linen all the people cry, "Shoot the
dudew He carryeth insurance fol
, twenty-five years, until he hath paiC
r thrice over for all his goods, and thel
= he letteth his policy lapse one day, ant
t that same night fire destroyeth hi
store. He buildeth him a house il
e Jersey, and his firsthorn is devOure'
4 by mosquitoes; he pltcheth his tents il
n New York, and tramps devour his sub
O stance. He mOveth to Kansas, and
j. cyclone carryeth his house away owe
n into Missouri, while prairie fire an
IS ten million acres of grasshoppers figh
o for his crop. He settleth himself
ie Kentucky, and is shot the next day b
a gentleman, colonel and state
le man, because, sab, he resembles, sal
e. man. sab, / did not like, sah." Veril
e. there is no rest for the sole of his foo
IL and if he had it to do over again !
of wonld not be born at all, for "the da
ct of death is better than the day of one
t. birth. ."-R. j. Burdette in PhiIadelph
ne Times.
Smyrna times., 1883-07-25

When Washington was inaugurated
as President in 1889 there were but
seven postofices in the State Of New
York. Now the State contains consid-
erably over 5000, or about 500 for one
of ninety-three years ago.
Smyrna times., 1883-07-25

Nearly four hundred persons were
killed by the wind last year in this
country. This is terrible record for
an off year in politics.-NelU York Com
merciat Advertiser.
Smyrna times., 1883-07-25

CANADIAN BAzAAR.--MR John
Osborne, Musical Bazaar, Toronto,
Canada, writes that his wife was cured
of rheumatism by the great pain-bam-
isher, st. Jacobs Oil; that he has found
it an invaluable remedy for many all
ments.
Smyrna times., 1883-07-25

trouble of remembelps. at .B. COoper's.
stamps on the boxes.
Smyrna times., 1883-07-25
vEigAs indian
Vegetable Pills

Secure Healthy ac'
ton 10 the liver ana
relieve ali bilious
troubles.
ripping. Price s5c. AN
july 11-4w
Smyrna times., 1883-07-25
Farming is called a tame and mOnOt-

want to come TO
is less monotony
Smyrna times., 1883-07-25

The Sralcbridge & ClOthier Quarterly
for September is replete with all the
latest fashions. Every lady ought to
have copy.
Smyrna times., 1883-07-25

In q cigar stoFd
You want So for
before the tax was
Il for S75Ou nYes
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-08-16

What influence has the moon on the
tide?" the teacher asked John Henry.
And John Henry said it depended on
what was tied: if it was dog it made
him howl, and if it was gate it united
it just as COW or a young man came
along. 1t is just such things that make
school teachers want to lie down and die
every day ut / clock.
At the National Convention of Mas
ter Plumbers it was unanimously re-
solved that hereafter when an employer
sends workman to 4 house to tear up
ten square yards of floor to repair leak
in the pipe only cash will be accepted
for the job, instead of takin~ the house
for the debt, as has been customary
heretofore, when the owner couldn't
raise enough money to pay the plumb
ing bill.
The latest anecdote about the old lady
who thinks that she ''knowS every
thing" is about how she went to a
church sociable, and as she entered the
room the young ladies said: Good
evening, auntie, we are glad you came;
we are going to have tableauN this even
ing" Yes; [ know, l know" was
the reply. Il smelt 'em when first
come in"
A hungry countryman was exploring
one of the quiet lanes i'll the city for a
dinner. when his ears were Saluted by
shrill voice from an eating-house,
which uttered in rapid tones the follow
ing incomprehensive jargon: Billed
lamaucapersors = Rosebeefrosegoos :
Rosemuttonantaters - Biledlamancab-
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT"
The astonished man FASTENED his pace
in order to find a house where they spoke
English.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-08-16

Hon. George ii. Pendleton, of Ohio,
though in no sense of the word duel
list, is splendid pistol-shot. He can
throw an empty champagne bottle into
the air, whiriing over and over and can
shootinto the mouth and knock the bot
tom out every time without injuring the
bottle otherwise SO they say in Gin
clnnau, where they pretend to be q
truth-tetl;ng people.
United States Senator Bayard. 4 pub
lie man OF the highest character. spoke
IN recent address to young LAWYERS of
"a CLASS nf clients and litigants who seek
and too often obtain. from the leoal pro
fesSion. services injurious to the common
wealth. When the ethics of the local
profession become perfected, no LAWYER
will be found mean enough to champion
the cause OF a rascal, knowing that he
is L rascal.
Extract from recent funeral grafton:
1.-The one whom we mourn did not seek
to raise himself ambitiouslv ABOVE his
neighbors He knew that there was n
place for all upon this earth. for the
men of modest virtues rs well as for.
those whose genius illuminates space.
for the humble rs we'll us the great
He was wanting, perhaps, in certain
brilliant qualities: gratitude, faith in
keeping his engagements, probity, etc!
The country is prosperous, and an OBJ
serving writer says: One Of the best evil
Gences of prosperity is the large number
of marriages. There are thousands
more who should seize the golden oppor.
tunity and begin to live. When a man
passes the thirtieth mile post and has
loved 10 GOOD woman, he has lost his
best chances of life for happiness, and
the sooner he calls Il halt and thinks it
over the better 1t is all nonsense for
a strong. healthy man to say he cannoi
Keep 4 wife
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-08-16
A Short Financial NovaI,

Sir, muttered the trembling cashier
as he confronted the president in the
private office of the latter. Sir [ have
two confessions to make TO YOU"
"Whatare they?" demanded the pres;-
dent in his most dignitied tone.
The first is, [ have robbed the bank
of half q million"
eve will give YOU IN opportunity to
repeat that confession in open court, D."
was the freezing response. What is
the second?"
THAT l love your daughter" replied
the stricken man.
my dear boy!" exclaimed the presi-
dent, grasping him by the hand. ''My
dear fellow. why did you not make that
confession first and the other last? Take
her, my son, and we Will see what we
can do about the money"
'Alas, sir! we can do nothing. |
have lost every dollar of it in specula-
tionr'
Then to jail, vile wretch" roared
the honest president. Il will summon
the policer'
And he did, and that young cashier
lies in quod, while his successor treats
the girl to church festival ice cream, and
the old man looks on with the hope that
he will improve on the folly of the youth
i'll the noisome celI.-BroOklyn Eagle.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-08-16
Plantation PhilosoDhv.

De homes tear is de jewelry OBJ de soul.
De tongue dat will tell q lie will lick
'lasses dat don't long to it.
1t amt de little scrub man dat is de
Ieas' account. Sometimes de biggest
stalk in de field amt got no corn on it.
In de eyes of de worl' de death oh a
poo man is pity, but de death OBJ a
rich man is clamity.
When q man amt got de money it is
de berry time dat folks want him ter pay
a debt, If he's got plenty of money II
doan make so much difference.
Oar nebber was q man dat was such 4
dead beat dat he could stan off de col
lector of death. When nature presents
de bill de man don't dispute de figgers.
'spises ter see folks pay mos atten-
ton ter de oman what is bes' dressed.
De peacock is got finer clothes dan de
dominicker hen, but she amt hat so
good ter hab aroun' de house.
Although hope is de suthin' dat hol's
a pusson up, yit it kin be 'bused. De
lazy man if full oh hope an sets in de
shade, while de 'dustrious man. what
amt got so much, chops de weeds outeD
de cotton.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-08-16
A Study in Geography.

little girl once sitting porting DER her
books
Her ''t,en,' she hadn't yet attained, judging
by her looks:
She read and pOndered earnestly, immersed in
thought profound,
But it seemed the information sought did not
in books ahOund;
For soon at least a score of maps her rapt at
And slowly she examined them, to see the
places named:
And tho she labored long and all her energies
applied.
She couldn't find the place she sought, no mat
ter how she tried.
This girl, he it understood, had never been to
college,
And hence the troubles that beset her first pur-
suit of knowledge.
At last a lucky, happy thought came rushing
thrO' her brain,
Most certainly her mother could the mystery
explain:
This morning, in the papers, ma, i noticed
mention made
OF a certain State which on the maps do not
see displayed,
Nor can find it in the books, I've hunted high
and low
And something of its history much would like
TO know.
It's called the State of Matrimony-tell me
where it lies,
When founded, by whom peOpled and what it
most suppiieSI'
" It's an ancient State" the mother said, land
founded long ago;
Adam and Eve at once began its fruitfulness
TO show;
And by degrees the State supplied tn entire
human race.
So thus, you see, twas founded in the earliest
IN fact, it was the very first of our United
States" ID.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-08-16
The New Nicksls not a Standard Weight
for Measure.

The new Y nickles are now coming
into general use, the word ''cents" hay
ing been added to prevent their being
mistaken, when gilded, for half-eagles.
The following, which was true of the
old nickel, although it does not apply
to the new, is now going the rounds of
our exchanges:
''FiUe Cent Nic6elS as Measures.
fact probably but little known is that
the United States nickel five cent pieces
furnish a key to metric measures and
weights. This coin is two centimeters
in diameter. and its weight is five gram
mes. Five of them placed in row
will give the length of decimeter, and
two of them will weigh q decagramme.
As q kiloliter is cubic meter, the key
of the measure is also a key to measure
of capacity
Although the new nickle pieces are
larger in diameter than the old, they
weigh less.
The average weight of those which
we have tested is 40 grammes, or 754
grains, while the diameter is q millime-
tiers. Both old and new are so nearly
two millimeters in thickness that the eye
cannot distinguish the difference, hence
a very correct idea of a mellimeter can
be had by taking half the thickness of q
five cent nickel.-Scientifc american.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-08-16
How to Take a Girl Arm.

The vulgar habit of clutching a girl
midway between the elbow and the
shoulder blade is INDUCED in only by
the dudes; by gentlemen never. The
Southern gentleman of culture bends
his arm at the elbow, the latter member
resting on his hip, while his hand is al
lowed to run straight out in front of
him. In the niche thus formed the arm
of the lady is allowed to rest, her dainty
hand neither touching his broad palm
nor any other part of his arm, but is al
lowed to dangle gracefully at the side
of his wrist. The support thus furnished
the fair one is more secure than the old
style of allowing the tips of the fingers
to rest lightly on the sleeve of the gen
tleman's coat.-NaShUitte Banner.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-08-16

The ubiquitous interviewer received a
gentle but pointed rebuke from Nine.
Modjeska the other day. Well were it
if all the profession could make the
same answer as truthfully. Thus the
beautiful countess: "And what have
to say when re newspaper gentlemen
call on me? Nothing except Eat [ am
very well; Eat | thank you; Eat think
re American country very beautiful;
Eat my business has been good eferv-
ware; Eat [ dearly loaf my profession;
Eat have met with no accident to my
self, and l have not lost any jewelry or
other yaluables. have no loafer Qov-
er) except my husband, and, therefore,
[ have no scandals. What could / say
that would interest the public?' De
troit CHAT.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-08-16

The tower over the new Produce Ex-
change, New York, will be one of the
finest points of view in the city. Not
only will it be among the highest OF
lofty structures, but its situation, near
the Battery, will iyesightseers view of
the bay. 1t towers already above all
the buildings in the lower part of the
city, with few exceptions, and fifty feet
have yet to be added to bring it to its
height of 225 feet. The workmen are
busy on it, the material being sent up to
Them by hoist.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-08-16

To carry pistols is said to be more
common with women than with men.
Perhaps they need them more than they
are needed by men. Many actresses are
reported to carry revolvers. The bosoni
is reported to be the feminine pistol
pocket. The law against carrying such
weapons is not enforced against women,
it appears. Boston TrdCe{er
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-08-16

lou can make the fellow with lot
Oh sisters believe that happiness is mere.
~ relative matter AT all events he
goes TO some other fellows relatives tc
Ind It.-Bostom Transcript.
The Easley messenger. (Easley, S.C.) 1883-1891, 1883-10-19
LETTER FROM PICKENS.

PICKENs G. H., 8. c., Oct. ID.
DEAR MESSENGER You were a
welcome visitor up here last week. We
heard YOU complimented very much.
A happy face. a brand-new dress, an
enterprising front, and chattering
tongue, will make you take superla-
latively well. Long and happy be
your life high may your head ever be
and full your purse.
There is nothing extra new in Pick
ems. Everything pursues the even
tenor Of it's way nimble-tongued gos-
sip has much to say, but we will not
tell on her this time. Good school.
many boys, many girls-but neatly all
of them are prizes located away up to-
ward the top of long, slender, greasy
poles, and the gaping throng of con-
testants are kept back from the fort of
the s'tall sycanlures' by flowing
swords. Ruling with rigidity up here
wins the title Of the ''Tall Sycamore
of the Wabash"
The young men Of the Piedmont
The Easley messenger. (Easley, S.C.) 1883-1891, 1883-10-19
PUBLIC SALE.

will sell at public outcry. at my
house. on TUESDAY, NOVEMBER
9Th, the following machinery, &C.:
One 4-IIORSE POWER ECLIPSE
ENGINE.
One ECLIPSE THRESHER and
SEPARATOR, Betting aud Fixtures.
One PRATT forty-saw GIN ami
FEEDERS.
One KING COTTON PRESS AMI
Fixtures.
The above will bc sold for one-tliird
Cash. Balance on II months Tine
Oct l9-3t* SIMEON BASWEM..
The Easley messenger. (Easley, S.C.) 1883-1891, 1883-10-19

College have decided to gives public
debate In the Hall. OF the Paitlorian
Literary Society next week. Itcomes
off on Friday night. One OF your
editors would be received with open
embrace. The girls Of the College are
going to organize into "A Society tl,is
week for their Improvement in Rati-
ocination and Intellectual Gimnas-
|tics.''
Mr.. G. w. Taylor has just returned
from visit among the different fairs OF
the State. He must have met with his
fate, for he has tremor cords all the
time. It's poor fair which don't
make some fellow ''live up among the
|stars.j The more he shlkes his torch.
the more it shines.
Pickens has a dude. We are ahead
of Easlry in that respect. amt we?
Easley's paper, sounds pretty hig'.
though.
We are settling down to Winter
quarters now. No more Summer rO-
ses to bloom and flourish among us.
All the visiting young ladies' have gone
except Miss Lucie IIagood, and she
leaves for the sea-shorc this week.
''We would that it were Summer al
ways.' But time does ''move on in
it's ceascless course Such departures
is enough to make fellow close his
mirth and his disposition 90 so heavily
with linn that the brave, overhanging
armament, all frcttcd with golden
fire. seem but a waste Of empty va
pors. We close /; so long. c.
+. S. There is to B Il B up here B-4
long; we will send You an invitation
or a piece Of cake to dream on.
The Easley messenger. (Easley, S.C.) 1883-1891, 1883-10-19
HNY NH HEYH All.

Married, on the 10th October. by
Rev. Davis, Mr.. THOMAS A.
HAWKINS, OF Easley. S. c.. and Miss
CARRIE HAWKINS, of Henderson
County, N. G.
On Sunday. October IL. by NJ. II.
Smith, N. F., at his residence, Mr..
Robert BARKLEY and Miss SALLIE
NALI.Y. all of Pickens County.
The Easley messenger. (Easley, S.C.) 1883-1891, 1883-10-19
HUDGENS &
~ ' " HUDGENs, ! &c
COTTON BUYERS
AND DEALERS IN
General Merchandise,
ENsley, S. ~.
AND DEALERS IN

Invites the attention of
their patrons and the gene
raj public, to the large and
attractive Stock of Goods
just opened, which embraces
Dry Goods,
Notions, CIOtHi2ag,
Hats,
Boots, Shoes, Grocer
>. leS, Drugs,
GLASSWARE, CrOcEery
e. WOOde122VO3'e,
TOCACCO, KNITTING
COTTON, &C.,
and in fact everything usual
ly kept in a stock of General
Merchandise.
We call especial attention to our
large STOCK Of READY-MADE
CLOTHING, JEANS and SHOES.
You will find it to your interest to
examine them before purchasing.
When you want Flour call for the
"FROST )" for a "Choicc Family"
it has no superior.
Oct l2-12m
The Easley messenger. (Easley, S.C.) 1883-1891, 1883-10-19
LATEST SCHEDULE

On the Piedmont Airline Rail
Road, of trains arriving at Easlcy,.
SOUTH BOUND.
No. 50. Passengcr) arrive .:.G:24 "A. M.
No. So, '' - ...6:O8 T.. M.
No. Is, Local Freight $ .,..6:4G y. NJ.
NORTH BOUND.
No. 81. (Passengcr) arrive...9:H p. M.
No. SO, s' ..iO:30 A. M.
No. II. Local Freight g ...5:55 A. M.
All Of the above trains carry passen-
gers.