The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-04-09
glsaping With Art mus Ward.

fered from ordinary practical JokerS IN
the fact that he could enjoy his jokes all
| by himself Usually, for practical
| Joke to be a success, or o.be enjoyable
to the perpetrator, it is necessary thai
others besides himself should witness It.
Ward enjoyed his all by himself q. -
| Bishop, the actor, told us the other day,
an anecdote illustrative OF this peculiar
| ity of Ward 5.
The proprietor of the Moral Wax
| Figgers' was lecturing when | first met
him. said Bishop ut was in Balti-
more. and John Mccullough introduced
| me to him in a restaurant one night, as
Ward was taking supper, after deliver
inc his lecture He and / became on
intimate terms at once. 1t was impossI-
bic TO know the man without loving
him. You felt drawn to him the mo-
ment he spoke to YOU. There was some
thing gentle and lovable about him that
was indescribable, but that made his ac-
ouaintances feel toward him as they
would feel toward favorite brother -
Ward and [ talked together about mu-
tual friends until two O'Clock in the
morning Then he insisted that should
sleep with him at his hotel. l made
several excuses BECAUSE, although l en-
ioyed his society. could see no reason
said that he would consider it great
favor if | would sleep with him, as he
was afraid to sleep alone in the dark. |
thought it rather an eccentric notion,
but / agreed tn stay with him.
ut was an exceedingly cold night.
Ward said that he wanted the light left
burning. After we got to bed became
very sleepy. and told Ward, who was
talking. great deal, and wandering
from one subject to another, that
thought we had better go 70 sleep
He said he would 90 to sleep if would
step out and hand him his trousers.
4 never can sleep he said, 'withCat
my trousers under my head. 1t soOthes
me to think that a burglar cant get at
my railroad pass or my pocket comb
without waking me up
He arranged his trousers under his
pillow and kept quiet for about two
minutes. Twas, doing away when he
punched me and asked ii ! was awake.
turned around and found him sitting
up in bed, pointing to n silver dollar 1y-
inc on each knee Of his trousers spread
out before him. He said;
- Il can't sleep until that light is
turned out. Now, Bishop, want to
toss with you To determine whose duty
Il tossed, lost, and put out the light.
Then | fixed myself for good sleep. |
Just crossed the threshold of the land
+ of dreams when Ward whispered in my
ear:
Say, don't you ike to sleep with
your head low? Well then lend me your
pillow, cant sleep unless my head IS
high.
s.Another drowsy interval of few
minutes Bishop; say Bishop, we are
running our health. Have YOU not read
Prof. Smith on Sanitary Laws of the
Bedroom. He says that those who
want 10 live 10 a good old age must
sleep with their heads toward the North.
Now, | feel by the way my blood circu
lates that we. at this moment. have our
heads pointing in the direction of the
Argentine Republic. and that we are
| don't want to be cut of in the midst
of my usefulness, propose that we turn
with our heads the other way.
I'VE reversed our positions. and ]
was again wandering Oft into vague
dreamland. when | received n blow in
the back that awoke me with a start.
Il think. Bishop, YOU said YOU did
Mt ike to lie with your head high, now
| do. and if its all the same to YOU.
would consider it q favor if You
would give me that bolster YOU are rest !
ing on
If amy other man had worried me in
that way. | would haYe been angry but
no one could he angry at Ward. Ii lac
had asked me 10 stand on my head !
think | would have considered il IA
vor to be allowed Ia ID SO. | gave him
the bolster and went Ia Sleep with my
head on my elbow. Twice again NV
companion awoac me. the first time 10
ask me if / was anre il was in '56.
and not in -, thai l made that trip
through ArkanSaw. The second time / |
awoke, Ward was out OF bed and was |
putting on his trousers. | began. 10 |
think he was insane His voice seemed |
TO be choked with emotion as lie said |
solemnly:
. Bishop, there is u tide in the affairs |
of every man-there Is u moment when |
his whole career in life may be infiu- |
enced. For me that moment has arTiv- |
ed. | want YOU to stand by me. |
must see John Mccullough nj once. He |
is asleep in No. 81. lie leaves on the |
6 n. m. train. There is no time 10 be |
lost. Secure n box of matches and let us |
seek his ROOM
II put on u few clothes, got a box of |
matches off the bureau. and followed |
Ward out into the hall. He seemed To |
be excited. We passed several rooms. |
then turned to the left into dark pass |
age. Ii would have seemed Il very un- /
ique procession 10 a stranger. Artemus |
striding rapidly along in his bare feet,
with his suspenders trailing behind, |
following, and striking a match at ev- |
cry door looking for 81
AT last we found the room. Ward |
pounded on the door with his knuckles; |
no answer. You could have heard the |
cloek tick away down in the rotunda. /
He Knocked again. Mccullough, in "a |
mnlied Voice, as il Desdemona had |
turned the tables ON him. and was |
smothering him with pillow. said, All |
right. He evidently thought he was |
being called for the morning train.
= But it amt all right, said Ward. |
i want to see you. 1 must see you at
once.
g Who's there SAID Mccullough.
Don't prevarieate. Mac. Come |
to the door; | want to see you, said |
Ward.
mccullough got up. opened the |
door ahaut six inches md ces,nl- hiS knaJ |