National Republican., 1883-08-03


AT "his sisters and his cousins and his ants
OH It sets tho brain a. -throbblng
To feel those insects bobbing
| Up and down ones system in their merry Rlee.
There's one way you can right 'em.
And that is, fee and fight en-
Meath the shadow OF some distant friendly tree.
--Roehester PostErpress.
THE Comte de Chambord is now called
the Tilden Of France" according to that mos
valued of our exchanges, the Rochester Post E1
press.
IT has been demonstrated that English spar
rows will fight each other to the DEATH The
trouble is they don't do it often onoughRochester
Fost. Express
OSCAR WILDE asks in his lecture "what
did teach the Anericaus?' and the Rochester
Post Express says ole taught the Americans
about $4,000 worth of nothing.'
FROM the Rochester Post-Enpress: at is an
i'll wind that blows nobody any good" is what a
Missouri man said, as cyclone carried his
mother-in-law into an adjoining county.
ONE of the saddest sights at Narragansett
Is to see the ladies dancing with each other in the
hotel parlors, for it means the absence of men--
" those DEAR delightful men."-Roches,er Post Er-
press.
The Detroit Free Press says 1t is possible
to have million dollars and be utterly wretched.nn
| Yes" retorts tho Rochester Post Express, that's
so. But sull million dollars is better than
nothing"
A COUNTRY town within q radius of fifty
miles of Rochester, that is not underlaid with
stratum Of pure salt, is, according to the Post
Express of that city, experiencing very hard lines
these days
ROCHESTER, Post Express: A gentleman
addicted to poker playing, but whose education
in art had been somewhat neglected. remarked
that the finest portrait he ever saw was the
fourth king"
ATLANTIC CITY has a Cuban lady who
jumps into the sea from dry goods box on the
beach and turns somorsault what an exceed
ing nice young girl Why, what's her name ?"-
Roe'tSter Post Express
SHEAR happiness" is defined as an editor
chopping his exchanges for matter to which he
attaches no credit is the explanation rendered by
the Rochester Post Express u Journal which in
variably gives the devil his due
A FEMALE book agent once tried to whip
Jay Gould, but failed If he can successfully de-
fend himself against female book agent the
| Rochester Post Express wants TO know what show
only $1,000 or 10000 strikers have?
THE chances now are that Bartholdi's
statue of Liberty Enlightenlng the World will in
time have pedestal to stand upon, but our es-
teemed contemporary the Rochester Post Express
thinks she may look little bit shaniefaced.
"STATIRA JANE" said a fond mother the
other m ,rning to her daughter" did Daniel John
son kiss you on the steps last night2" mo,
mamma. he did not" If the fond parent had said
mouth instead of steps 1t would have troubled
Jane to reply.-7he Eue of Battle.
A New YORK wife, too young to bring pro-
ceedings in court on her own account, is suing,
through her guardian, for separation from her
husband. When the divorce fever, says the ever
sarcastic PoSt-Elpress breaks out among children,
signs Chicago editor, 1t is time to cut sticks.
ROCHESTER, Post Express: Longfelfow left
an estate valued at S350,0OO. We dislike to say
anything harsh of a dead person. but man who
will deliberately accumulate fortune OF 900
from writing poetry sets most pernicious
example There are too many poets already.
REMARKED Boston minister in his trial
sermon, "The children of Israel were repeatedly
ON the point of manumission, but at the very last
moment the Lord afflicted Pharaoh with auricu-
lar ossifcation." He was "called" without a
dissenting voice. says the Rochester Post. Ec4Tess
SEND anything to this Office in payment
for. subscriptions-potato cord wood, string
beans, rags, old iron, anything, only send It,"
walls all impecunious country editor, and then
adds mot necessarily for publication, but as a
guarantee of good faith."-Rochester Post. Express
AN observant Englishman, recently arrived
in New York, admits tho marked superiority of
some classes of American rogues over any that
England can produce And the Rochester Poa-
Eepress's admiration for its native country is so
enthusiastic that 1t cannot help but feel little
bit proud of it.
ONE of lifes unpleasant sensations, says our
bright contemporary, the Rochester Post Erpreas,
is to waken at IL o'clock on Sunday forenoon and
discover that all the money you have left on
which to begin another week of toll and trouble
is two twenty cent pieces passed on you the night
before for quarters.
ROCHESTER PoSt-Egpress: At the seaside
"Why dear, we must have nurse the baby Is
teething, and will cry all night" swell, let him
yell. Those stuck-up neighbors of ours, the
Joneses, are in the next boarding house. If they
hear him they will recognize his voice and know
that we are at the shore, too"
"NIAY IhG ,the honor to conduct your daughter
to the supper table? asked a society gentleman of
a lady from the country, who is staying with soma
friends whom she is visiting here in Au in.
May you take her TO supper?" was the response; I;
why, of course, and you can take me. too. That
what we came here for."-FoS- Express.
APRoPos of the story that tho poet Swim.
burne loves champagne cocktail and write un-
der Its influence, the critical Rochester Post.
Express remarks "To one who has ever tried TO
get at the true inwardness Of some of this poets s
passages, the thought comes irresstibly that he
} must have loved several champagne cocktails"
SATURDAY is the odd job, finishing up day
of the week. Nobody begins any great work on
Saturday. "What, are you going to be marrecS5n
saturdGy?' inquired Cicey of her lady friends
why, to be sure. 1t is my birthday. you know"
"But don't you know that your husband will not
live the year out if you marry him on Saturday p
"H-s-h. He has never heard of 1t. should be
such an interesting widow, you w."-Rochcster
P0st-ErDreSs.
WE clip the following from the ever breezy
Rochester Post ErpreSs; so you were struck by
lightning, were you % asked visitor of hospital
patient. "Yes," wearily replied the poor fellow,
who seemed not long for this world "but that was
good many years ago" "0h. / understood that
; your present condition was caused by thunder
, bolt" "No, not exactly. l asked little fat man
the question, lis II hot enough for you 2 Thunder
: bolt? l wish 1t had BEEN"
0 THEY-those two whose lives were bound
A up in each other, whose hearts beat synchron-
A ously and who had but one idea between them
, sat on the back piazza In the silence of the noon
: light about II o'clock at night when the mother
4 of tho girl put out the milk can previous to re.
firing for the night Softly breaking the silence
I the good woman spoke "When the mikman
t comes in the morning don't you two drink up all
: the milk; leave little for Observation-Disclosures
u PJst-ErpreSs.
: NOT much headway is made by tho SC