Omaha daily bee., 1883-08-04
A SLICK SALESMAN.
An Answer to An Advertisement that
MiSCarriGd,
The Discontinue OF An Entire Es-
tablishment.

A Farnam street dry goods merchant
inserted the following advertisement i in
one of the Omaha dailies a few days ago:
WANrED-An experienced dry goods sales.
man; no things nor tongue-tied individuals
need apply.
The usual number of applicants APP.
piled for the situation but for various
reasons all were turned away. On the
third day, when the proprietor had de.
SPARED of procuring the right man to fill
the vacancy, a tall, sunburned individual
with short hair, big ears, high cheek
bones and a Roman nose entered the
store, hat in hand, and with a two story
smile bowed and addressed the proprie-
tor:
"Are you the managing superintendent
of the employing bureau department of
this mammoth concern whose fame rs
II of the most gigantic, enterprising,
up-with-the-times, low-priccd retail bazar
this side of the broad, picturesque and
raging Mississippi flows southwark
to the sea-"
81 am" answered the man of silks and
white goods as he ordered n female clerk
forward to wait on a Capital Hill GUS
toner.
''Then," quoth the short-haired party,
as he tried to mend a comb he had
broken on the ten cent counter, 81 wish
to make formal application to you for the
position of general sales gentleman. You
will soon discover that / am q cool, cal
culating, cash collector; born for bust
ness, ready to rustic. l am never tired,
tickled, t~ongue-tied nor troublesome; and
| am no dead -beat-dude nor dis
turber of decent domains"
The speaker paused. The proprietor
was leaning limp and ~lifeless against the
ribbon show case. The clerks stood
staring stupidity. The customers com
mented critically and censured such
ceaseless %clatter.
Observing this, and that he was the
center of attraction, the self styled sales
gentleman cast aside his wonted smile,
and assuming a determined look, drew
from beneath his coat a book all covered
with gold, and continued:
"You hesitate, | see" he said; 'but l
will give you time to consider the matter.
In the meantime, / will show you the
prospectus of a little book that will no
doubt interest you. 1t il a complete
scientific, biblical, archaeological, ethno-
logical, historical, political, statistical,
medical, mechanical and social encyclope-
dia that no.
Here the speaker paused, not for breath,
he was only fairly started and beginning
to feel comfortable and at home, but a
noise at the door attracted his attention.
The disturbance was caused by the faint
ing of a lady customer, who was being
carried out by six cash boys. The pro-
prietor had sunk into a shapeless mass,
unable to speak, but still breathing.
With IN effort he drew from his pocket a
cramped So bill, and held it toward he, of
the elongated form, who had so ruth
lessly crushed him. The talking machine
cody pocketed the money, and producing
a memorandum and pencil commenced to
write, and said:
"Name-Shadrock McGinnis-vol. first
paid in advance five dollars-collect
other two fifty when next vol. is deliv.
ered-business-dry goeds-number 1887
street Farnam-south side-many
thanks-by-by."
That was all he said, He did not aver
stop to shake hands, like ministers, can
didatee, commercial drummers, &c, but
vanished in mid air, as it were, skipped,
~skedaddled, and was seen nc more.