News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-04-26

a LECTURE ON SENTIMENT.
Brother Gardner Introduces a Friend from
NLississippi.
From the Detroit Free Press.1

From the Detroit Free Press.7
~ wish to dispIain," said Brother
Gardner as he adjusted his spectacles
and brushed up his front hair, IT wish to
dispIain dat de Hon. Higginbottom
Lawless, of Kosciusko, Miss, am pres
ent in de aunty room an burnin' to de-
Iiber his celebrated address on 'Senti-
ment.' He arrove heah three or four
days ago, an has finished my las barl
of apples, worn my Sunday coat right
along, an will be a dead-head on me till
he kin spoke dis piece an cotch mixed
freight train gwine to Toledo. De com
mittee will escort him, an if dat water
pail am upset or any lamps knocked
down doorin' his delibery de guilty
wretch or wretches will receive q lesson
dat will remain solid for a hundred
Vars.
The Hon. LawIess appeared with a
pair Of red mittens in one hand and
lemon in the other, and such was his
placidity of mind that when he bit into
one of the mittens in place of the lemon
he never even changed color. He sized
up five feet and SIX inches, intelligent
expression. head cast in the shape of a
pear and feet large enough to trample
an onion bed out Of sight He mounted
the platform like q steer climbing Il side
hill, bowed right and left in response to
the applause, and quietly began:
only frena, [ cannot dispress de pleas
IRE an gratiGcashun which I feel to fin
myself standin' heah under de sacred
shingles of Paradise Hall-a structure
whose name am a household word whai-
cher de English language greets de ear.
Applause. I would rather stan heah
dan to be buried under $4,000 mont
ment. CHEERS.
ode subjick oh my address am Senti-
ment. What am sentiment? Whar' do
we git it, an what am it Wort by de
pound when de market am not ODER
stocked? | answer dat sentiment am Il
sort o. 1asses an mush surromdin' de
heart In some eases it hardens up an
turns to stun while in odders it Trims out
until de heart fairly floats in pond O
sweetness. Applause. Sentiment has
considerable to do wild cherry ackshun i'll
our eberyday life. It am bizuess when
you start out to borry pan of flour or a
basket oh taters. It am sentiment dat
causes a naybur to lend, instead of de-
mandin' spot cash. Wild applause from
Judge Cadaver
''Biznes8 ackhlatcs de lazy an de shift
less to sot out an beg cold vittIes an old
clothes an dimes an quarters. Senti-
ment acltuatcs women to shed tears
ober EN- an stock EN- up wild huff to
loaf on fur another month. When we
have a kickin' boss our sentiment am
pealed to. We arey dat de safety Of
| our loved ones requires us to trade dat
anamiIe off to some preacher who wants
a perfekly reliable boss. OATS one kind
of sentiment. When We buy an excu-
shun ticket to Niagara Falls, an reach
de grand cataract after a thirty hours
sweat on cattle cars, de immense waste
Of water 'peaIs to anodder sort O. senti-
ment. When we Iuv We reveal another
phase Of sentiment. If de gal am high
toned an rich de sentiment am all solid
If she am only average. an in debt fur
her las corset, de sentiment am purity
thin an won't last longer dan de first bill
fur meat comes in" Cries Of, "You
bet. Us
..11,- fyons so,,+f,,,o,,+ ,,,.;4,- ,,aol,--
wild one hand an, tenn. T.. h,.l-. - i,
obiIl,o, wild Ia o7.1,r T. -, .,,..