The Brookhaven leader., 1883-03-22


should be solemn and sagreeahle.
Especially does this rule apply to those
whose aspirations for sudden wealth
have carried them into the pro ession
of conducting railroad trains. The
genial man never succeeds in anything.
and the genial conductor is doomed TO
\ life of disappoin ment and penury.
The cond lctor should first assume
that the road is run for his sole behoof.
nder no circumstances should he ever
permit a passenger to CLEAN the idea
that the fare paving traveller is entitled
to the slightest respect. II man wants
to know anything. and he is square
across the jaw and huge OF muscle, the
conditions are altered and it might be
well TO answer his questions in full, but
If little man or woman becomes i'm
Fortunate, the screws should be put on
without delay. IL the conductor gives
way to either of them, he must give way
to all, and perhaps lose all his fun in
the baggage car, besides forfeiting the
respect of those who are inclined to
take advantage OF a mans good nature.
When timid passenger or an elderly
woman asks question. the suub is the
ing. Snub from the start, for if the
questioHer finds that The conductor
hes tates he's gone. Hesitating con-
ductors have been asked as many as
ten questions between New York and
Chicago, while the man who puts the
passenger down from the start, has been
known to make six round trips without
being interfered with.
On local train the conductor should
devote his attention to the school girls.
AS a general rule, this class of traveller
can find anybody W Hing to firt with
them, and, therefore, they are more or
less dependent on the conductor. To a
certain extent the roads depend on the
school-g custom for subsistence, and,
therefore, it is to the interest of the
road to have men who will see that the
line is made attractive to this impor-
tant branch OF the community.
The proper pla for the conductor is
in the baggage car, for there he Gail
smoke and sleep unmolested by jnguir-
ing minds who want to know, you
know. From that vantage ground. also.
he can see the engineer ump, in the
event of an ac ident, and understand
what it is best to do in order that he
may get out speedily and assure the
press that nothing has occurred, and
that the people in the burning cars didn't t
travel on that train. The killing of a
conductor puts a road in hole. The
impulse is to advertise the line by CIV
ing him send-off. bit that is an ad-
mission that there was an accident
and, therefore, the conductor should
take care of himself, rather than sub
ject his employers to any such incon-
venience.
1t is well for the conductor to have
favorites among his regular passengers
These should be selected with discrimi-
nation from among the smok ng and
flask-carrying traveller. Familiarity
with them pays, for they will applaud
anything the conductor does, and feed
him from their store whenever he has
added to their Importance by cutting
down some man who has only the merit
of regarding functionary as public
servant.
Along the line of every road are coun
try girls who properly think that to
know the conductor is to approach the
kingdom of bliss The conductor should
make it point to hand them on the
train with some familiarity that shall
establish his relations with them from
the start, and then should sit beside
them, with an arm carelessly thrown
across the back of the seat, and giggle
and laugh with them until they have at
tracted the attention of the whole car.
This adds to the importance of the girl,
and makes every other woman sigh as
she contemplates the young lady's hap
piness.
If a man lose his ticket, bounce him.
No matter that he saw it a moment be-
fore. No matter if you see it lying un-
der the seat, bounce him. There is never
atime when an offic al looks so dignified
as when he is employing force to sus-
tain his dignity. If by any chance the
man find his ticket before he is bounced,
bounce him anyway. He has no right
to waste the valuable time OF a conduct
or by making him think that he is going
to have the fun of bounce, and then
90 back on him.
If you find by the ticket that pas
senger is on the wrong road, tell him so,
and then pass on without any further
explanation. 1t will put him in frame
OF mind until he can hunt you up and
find out the particulars Keep him in
suspense until the train that would car
ry him back has passed AMI then charge
him what you like, for the company
won't know that he was on your train
at all, and you get an opportunity to
put in a little thrift.
There are few rules, in relation to
waking man up with wrench, and
making him hand you his check in his
hat band refusing to let sick woman
have double seat, when there are two
other passengers in the car occupying
the seat near The stove. and letting the
woman with baby shiver in the cor
ner, and the like. but these are gener-
ally so well observed without express
direction that it is a work of superero-
cation to 60 into them.
Follow Odt the others carefully, and
if you don't get rich by following some
not here alluded to. you will grow up
with the road wise and respected con-
ductor. .--DrGke'S 1rarelers' Magazine.