The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-07-14
ALL SORTS.

| Don't be in hurry about making your
will; such an act is always dead give
| away.
If jay Gould leaves Wall street viii It
be because he hasn't room for it In his
yacht.
In recent speech the Prince Of Wales
said London had now about 5000. 900
inhabitants.
Not all kings have palaces 10 live In.
The King Of Coomassie, for instance
lives in Ashamtee.
Czar Romanoff is more popular IN New
England than in Russia. His name
sounds so much like rum enough.
a Michigan woman described her abb
sconding husband as Of "fried-pork'
complexion. Tho dstective exultln9Iy
made note of it.
We are told that the fool and his
money were soon parted; but the fool
must have had money to be parted from.
Score one for the fool.
Up country, at one of the crossroads.
stands sign post which says: AMI
mails unaccompanied are not allowed to
pass over this road"
It is strange that so many persons are
killed by tornadoes, yet the man who Is
daily blown up by his wife manages to
live through it all.
ssIs it crime to be 9 woman9" asks
Mrs. Blake. No, we think not, If she
sincerely repents, asks to be forgiven,
and promises not to be SO again.
sMr. Isaacs, can you tole me yere vas
the first diamond?' "No, Mr.. Yawcobs.
We're vas it?" ssVy, Noah's son on der
ark. He vas Shem of the fust water. =
Mr.. VIM. Doodle--"Yes, Miss Frost.
always wear gloves at night; they make
ones hands so soft. Miss Frost-"Ahi
and do you also sleep with you hat
on?"
Investigator" wants to know what Is
good for cabbage worms. Bless Jour
heart, man, cabbages. of course. A good
plump cabbage viii last several worms
week.
Governor Buffers SON Paul, says the
Boston Saturday Evening Gazette, is
making tour of England on double
bicycle with Mr.. Willis Harrington, Of
Lowell.
A Mission-street groceryman is now
fighting off divorce case, because, dur
ing rush of business, the other day, he
used his uife's new bonnet for 3 sugar
scoop.
do you see that young man going
along there?'' 'sYes. what of it?" Hes
got girl on the brain" "Ah, judging
from his appearance the girl must have
soft sit.
.Let rs pursua the subject little far
ther said the medical students at the bed
side Of dyingsspatient. So the next night
they went and stole the body from the
cemetery.
dead broke, eh?' queried Boston
man of seedy looking individual whom
he saw passing into shop adorned with
| three golden balls. asNo," was the cnrt
| reply: sspawn-broke."
.sCan you change $40 gold piece?" he
asked, as he gently placed the empty
glass on the counter. ssYes." said the
bartender. well, I will go out and
see if I can find one."
| Manhattan island contains about Il. 800
acres, of which $500 are covered with
houses, 1000 are in parks, and 5000 are
still unoccupied. In the last ten years
1000 have been built up.
In the senatorial election in Colorado
the devil got one vote. There is evil
IDENTIFY one man in the state who thinks
the standard of its congressional repre-
sentation ought to be raised.
ssIt was "Darling George" when q
bridal couple left Omaha; it was Dear
George" at Chicago; at Detroit it was
"George;" and when they reached Nj
agara Falls it was 'sSay, your
New Mexicos wool production last
year amounted to 80, ,000, 900 pounds.
There are upward Of IL 900, 900 sheep in
the territory and the clip this year is not
expected to be short of SO, 900 900
pounds.