davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30
Some Typical Paris Charges.

/ remember when | first came to
Paris being decidedly amused at the ex-
porience OF an American lady who had
an electric boil in her apartment. The
bell refused to ring one day, so she sent
for the man who had put it up to set it
to rights. He showed her that there
was nothing the matter with the bell.
some mechanical interference having
prevented it from sounding The next
day she got his bill. After charging for
the time lost in going to and from his
shop Ga legitimate charge enough). he
had added TO this item "For looking
ut the bell'-onc dollar, But this bill
was surpassed by one that was lately
presented to French lady whom know
quite well. She was taken ill last
spring with typhoid fever, and was con-
fined to bed for some six weeks. Dur
ing all this time female chiropodst,
whom she had sometimes employed,
testified the most touching interest in the
case. She was never admitted to the
sick-room, but she used to come to the
door daily and inquire into the condition
of the invalid. Finally the patient be-
came convalescent. and one day the
chiropodist called and presented bill
of startling dimensions. My friend was
quite amazed at the amount, as she had
only employed the woman occasionally.
On investigating the items she found one
namely. "Inquiring for Madame" re-
peated frequently. with a charge of one
dollar each time. "What does this
meanP" she inquired Of the chiropolist.
MADAME, those are the visits that
made while Madame was so ILL.,"
what! you expect TO be paid for calling
TO see how I WASP" "AIost certainly,
Madame" "Who sent for YOU or
asked You to Gomez "No one; it was
only the great interest that ] took in
Madame" "And you want to he paid
one dollar visit for that INTEREST," II is
prepoSterous. ! shall not pay YOU
single cent for anything of the kind"
So, despite the indignant protests of the
chiropodist, my friend struck ont every
one OF the charges for enquiries aftci
Madame" which made up no less n
total than forty-two dollars. The BILL
thus shorn of three-fourths Of is proper
tons, was then paid, and the woman
prepared TO go. "And when will
Madame require my services againP'
she asked. "Never-you have tried 10
swinde me. and shall never employ
you any more" Whereupon she burst
into tears and departed, declaring that
il was her great love for Madame that
had induced her TO make thes, constant
inquiries, and, of course, she expected to
be paid for the time she had lost in max
ing them.--Pdris Cor. Philadelphia
Telegraph.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30
CHERIFF SALE.

~
Notice Is hereby given that by virtue Of a writ of
er facias issued out of the Circuit Court for AL
pcna county, in favor of james ]. Potter, John ID.
Potter and Benjamin II. Young, against the goods
and chattles and real estate of james ID. Ambrose
and John j. Cathro, in said county, 10 me directed
aud delivered did on the 18th day of September,
A. ID. 1881. levy upon and take all the right title
and interest of the said James ID. Ambrose, one of
said defendants in and TO the following described
real estate, viz lot number four, in block number
nnety-one, of the recorded plat of the city of AL
pcna also that piece or parcel of land described
follows, viz: commencing at the northwest corner
Of said lot four in said block ninety-one, running
westerly on the line of said lot continued seventeen
feet thence at right angles southery TO section line
road, thence on the line Of said road easterly 10
land now owned by said Ambrose, thence westerly
to'place of beginning, being strip Of land seven
teen feet wide back Of said lot four, all OF which
said premises situated in said block ninety
Of the city of Alpena.
All Of which said property, much thereof
niaint,fs n"med in aid s, will "apose for 10, sals
at public auction vendue, TO the highest bidder,
at the front door of the Court House, in Aipena in
said county, on
Thursdsy, the sth day OF March, A. ID. 1889
At ten O'Clock in the forenoon of said day.
Dated, Alpcna, Jan. 23d, 1883.
DOUGLASS SCOTT,
Former Sheriff Of Alpena county,
CARPENTER & EMERIck
j. Is. CLAYBERe,
Att'ys for Plfs. 59sw7
Adjourned to May 10Th, 1883, at the same hour
and place, at request OF defendant Ambrose.
Dated Alpena, March 8, 1883, -
DOUGLASS SCOTT,
Formerly sheriff of Alpena county.
CARpESTER X EMERIcK,
J. II. CLAyBERo,
Attorneys for Plaintiffs. 605w7
Adjourned 10 May nth, 1883, at the same hour
and place, nj request Of defendant Ambrose.
Dated Aipena, May 10th, 1881
DOUGLASS SCOTT,
Formerly Sheriff Of Alpena county
CARpExTRR & EMERfcK,
j. u. CLAYBERa,
Attorneys for Plaintiffs.
Adjourned TO June I'D. 1882, at the same hour
and place, nj request of defendant Ambrose.
Dated Alpena, May 18th, 1888
DOUGLASS SCOTT,
Formerly sherih Of Alpena county
CARPENTER EMFRIcK,
j. II. CIAyBERe,
Attorneys for Plaintins.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30

empty skull and hire Niger to pour in
ten cents worth of cheap oleomargarine.
The Dallas man shook his fist at the ma .
tive, and said:
"Fye always heard that the State Lun-
attic Asylum was too small to accommo.
date all the lunatics, but now ] know it,
and lie moved OF towards Esmeralda,
while the other party leaned up against
the corner of Ann and Matilda, and glar-
ell after him as he disappeared In the di.
rection of Martha.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30
Bound 10 Win.

"Sir3' he began, as he found him al
the Rector Street station of the Elevated
road 4" four years ago you predicted
that the wheat crop would fail. bought
heavily in futures and lost
EXactly-exactly. | admit that |
was mistaken" replied the prophet.
Three years ago you predicted that
oats would go down to twenty cents,
sold futures and lost again.
SO you did-eXactly. | remember
that | missed il i'm oats"
1.-Two years ago you prophecied hard
pan on railroad stocks. waited to buy
and lost opportunities to double my
money!
That's so-that's 80. They didn't
90 down rs had anticipated, ~
And sir!'' continued the accuser, in
solemn tone, last year you prophccied
that there would be general war in
Europe, and | sold securities at loss"
. "Exactly-exactly!' blandly replied
the Spectator, ~ own right up that
I've missed it four times hand-running,
but | shall hit sooner or later now
predict great rise in beans for next
fall; buy my beans, sir-buy cart loads
and car loads of beans and hold EN- for
boom of fifty per cent. Good morn
ing, sir. "-WdH Street NeUs
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30
Criminal Statistics.

I'll don't like this grub" said Tom Stay,
maker, when the .iallor brought him his
dinner, on the first day of his incarcera,
ton.
you must remember you arc in Jail,
replied the iailor.
What kind Of people have you got here
In Jail that will put up with that kind OF
grubi"
"Thieves, mostly"
well then, tell your boss for me, that
If he can't afford TO feed his thieves pro-
perly, he ought not to keep any.'-Sft-
ings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30
How Lost. How Restored !
- HERIFF SALE.

-
Notice is hereby given that by virtue of n writ of
iler facias issued out of the Circuit Court for AL
pena county, in favor Of James L. Field, against
the goods and chattels and real estate of James d.
Ambrose and John j. Cathro, in said county, TO me
directed and delivered, ] did, on the 18th day OF
September "A. ID. 1881, levy upon and take all the
right, title and interest of the said James ID. Am
brose, Of said Defendants in and TO the follow
ing described real estate, wa lot number four, in
block number ninety-one, of the recorded plat OF
the city of Alpena also that piece parcel of land
described as follows, viz commencing at the north
west corner Of said lot four in said block ninety
one, running westerly on the line of said lot con-
tinued seventeen feet, thence Mt right angles south
erly 10 section line road thence the line Of said
road easterly to land now occupied by said AM
brose, thence westerly TO place of beginning, being
strip Of land seventeen feet wide back Of said lot
four all of which said premises situated in said
block ninety -one, of the city of Alpena.
All of which said property or so much thereof ms
may be necessary TO satisfy the demand of said
plaintiff named in said suit, will expose for SALE
at public auction or vendue, TO the highest bidder
at the front door Of the Court House, in Apena, in
Thursday, the sth day OF March, A. d. 1888
At ten o'clock In the forenoon of said day.
DOUGLASS SCOTT,
Former Sheriff of Alpena county.
CARPENTER EMERIcK,
j, b. CLAyBERG,
Att'ys for Pl'f.
Adjourned TO May 10Th, 1888, at the same hour
and place, NJ request of defendant Ambrose.
Dated Alpena, March 5, 1854.
DOUGLASS SCOTT,
Formerly Sheriff Of Alpena county.
CARPENTER & EMERIcK,
J. b. CLAYRERG,
Attorneys for Plaintiffs. 605v7
Adjourned to May nth, 1888, at the same hour
and place, at request of defendant Ambrose
Dated Alpena, May 10th, 1883.
DOUGLASS SCOTT,
Formerly Sheriff OF Apsna county.
& EMERIcK,
j. d. CIAYBERG,
Attorneys for plaintiffs.
Adjourned to June 90. 1889, at the same hour
and place, nj request of defendant Ambrose.
Dated Alpcna, May 18th, 1883.
DOUGLASS SCOTT,
Formerly sheriff of Alpena county.
CARPENTER & EMEnIcK,
j, G. CLAYBERG,
Attorneys for plaintiffs.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30
ALPENA WEEKLY ARGUS.
MISCELLANEOUS.
I HAVEN T. TIME.

Haven't time - So I'D and fret
because things don't 20 right,
Nor NOPE around In sullen gloom;
Life can't be always bright.
haven time to waste, for oh!
God keeps strict account.
And moments idled or misspent
To days will soon amount.
hnyenttime my nelghbor's faults
10 pick at ana enlarge,
For oh I've many of my own
That are q constant charge.
haven't time for unkind words
They leave so sharp a sting;
Nor time to entertain bad thoughts
That poison where they cling.
haven't time to circulate
The stories that hear,
Nor listen to the vcnomed tongues
Who'd make the SANDER clear.
haven't time to censure those
Who've fallen on the way;
Perhaps I'd make tbs same mlsstep
IL tempted Just as they.
haven't time for these dread things,
But oh! Isometimos fear
We steal n moment now aud then,
And lend them voice and ear!
Burlington Hd0h-Eve.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30
The following singular contest

The following singular confession
appears in country newspaper: "An
apology is due our subscribers for the
omission of the regular appearance of
our paper last week. We foolishly yield
ed to q weakness which we would make
any sacrifice 10 be rid of-an appetite
for that which stands to day the worlds
greatest curse land, as we have always
openly criticized the faults of others,
thus plainly do we acknowledge our
own. We propose TO use our best en-
deavors in the future to prevent any
further displays of a like nature.'
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30

The splendid coffee which rushes
from the smoking urns of tho railway
restaurant, at the beck of the traveller,
is no longer the product of mysterious
compound. The Paris laboratory anal
wed specimen of the fragrant article,
and found il to consist of red earth,
flour, coffee-grounds, caramel, tale,
plumbago, vermicelli and semonina
powder, bean dust, ground peas and
lupines, bread-crusts, acorns, grilled
figs, bectroot, carrots. red ochre, saw
dust, brick dust, ashes, mahogany
siiavings, vegetable earth and sand
Detroit Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30

"A Kentucky whisky dealer, who
had been arrested for failing TO stamp
the barrels sent out from his distillery,
proved by ocular demonstration that
goat licked off the stamps ~ fast as the
barrels were rolled out of the establish
ment. He was liberated.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30

The only toothache drops that will
relieve are the drops Of the teeth ON the
dentists floor after pull.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30

Posters, Handbills, Circulars, Letter &
Note Heads, Bill Heads, Statements,
Invitations, Programs, Envelopes,
Cards, Blanks, Blank Books,
ETC., etc.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30
Fine Job Printing

The ARGUS Office is replete with the
best assortment of material in all
Northern Michigan, for doing
Superior work, and we can
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08
: FOR THRUSH.

By following the directions the lame
horse can be relieved in three days, ready
for use, and by attending to his feet twice a
week and giving him a dry stall he will never
be troubled again.
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08
YOUNG MANS CASE.

Mr.. S. S. 1IopGEN, Jr., Of No. 147 Park street
Lewiston, Me-, rolates TO the followingpersonal
narrative, May II, 1888 "About fifteen months
since had n severe attack of typhoid fever,
was very lame, and confined 10 my bed for
eleven weeks and when tho fever left mo /
was in very debllltatcd condition. Ny back
and loins seemed to have no strength, and
had no vitality or appetite. tried various
kinds Of medicine recommended by my iricndE,
but found they did not improve my condition.
was induced to try Hunts Remedy which has
been used with such great success hero In Lew
ision that It has very cnviable reputation of
beinga most reliable medicine. l purchase
one bottle. and can dato my improved health
from the time / commenced using 1t, and my
progress continued very repldly; gained In
strength, and experienced lees pain in my back
my appetite increased, and after using three(3)
bottles my pains wore all gone, and my health
entirely restored, and can most heartily re-
commend Hunts Remedy to any who may need
aStrue remedy for debility, kidney or urinary
troubles"
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08
A GOOD MECHANIC.

Mr.. L. j. Jones, Of No. 10 Charles Street,
Portland, Me writes us these convincing facts:
MAY II, 1883. l have fer several years beon
troubled with liver complaint and sndigestion,
and have suffered at times tirrIbio distress, and
have tried many different cures, go called, that
have beon recommended from time to time. 1
one day noticed in ono Of our papers the testi-
monial Ofa person that had used Hunts Remedy
and been cured OF diseases similar to mine.
purchased bottle Of one of our drug stores in
Portland, and before hnd used the first bottle
found that was improving beyond my expecta-
tlon have used in all six bottles, and have no
trouble from Indigestion, no distress orpain in
back as formerly had; and since / have been
cured my wife has used 1t for kidney trouble
and It has cured her. We can both say that
Hunts Remedy is n blessing to any that are
troubled with kidney or livor diseases, or indi-
gestlon. We gladly recommended to our friends
or to any sufferers from liver or kidney diseases
and you can use this letter as you may choose
for the best interest of suffering humanity
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08
F Q r S P AV T N

below the joint. A horse SPAWN can be re-
moved and the hair restored in six weeks.
A bog SPAWN can not be removed, the only
relief to the animal is to give him high
heeled shoe. Wounds of every description
can be healed by these remedies.
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08
"verdnnt tIreen,, In LuolL.
Ut. James Gazette ]


Everybody Will b; glad to hear that
"Cuthbeft Bedc" (the Rev. L. Bradley) has
been appointed to one OF the good things of
the Church, the yicarage OF Lenton Lincoln
shire, to wit, which is worth 200 year
One wonders,by the way how many of those
who have laughed over the honest fun of
"Verdant Green" are aware that the author
was not educated at Oxford. Mr.. Bradley
graduated at Durham, where he was Thorp
Scholar and Foundation Scholar (at Uni
veisity College,. "Verdant Green" may
not be a perfectly faithful reproduction
OF the Oxford life of even thirty years
ago. but for non Oxonian to have
made the book favoritc with .Oxonians
is no inconslderable achievement. Such lit
erary feats, however, are far from being un-
parallelcd. Charles Lamb was doubtless
right in wagering that Millions Morning
Hymn OF Adam and Eve was peDned at mid
night, and the Germans description OF the
camel in the popular story was very likely
as Interesting as that Of the Englishman or
the Frenchman. There Is tradition that
Scott had never seen Melrose Abbey when
he wrote the famous description iu the clay
Of the Last MINSTREL" and It Is tradition,
but an unquestioned fact, that Koble was
never In the Holy Land, though Dean
Stanley could note the accuracy of some OF
his illusions TO the scenery OF Palestine con-
tained In "The Christian Year"
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08
FOR COLIC.

This remedy is so convenient that the
horse can be relieved without even taking
him from the carriage if it be wind collie. #
fatulent keep the horse quiet and in addition
to the remedy give 3 or tablespoonfuIs of
scalded -four and starch with 2 ounces of
laudanum every hours for to hours and
if there are no other complications no horse
need ever die with collie under his treatment.
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08
FOR GREASE AND SCRATCHES.

This is now the only safe and sure remedy
in use. If the disease involves the entire leg
it will make perfect cure, and will remove
any skin disease on any part Of the body.
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08
WORM POWDER.

This is the only sure remedy ever used
for those anoying pests. If the animal is so
troubled they will be expelled in very short
time after the first administration, leaving the
horse in excellent condition and the hair
lively color.
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08
FOR FlSTULA, sPRAINs,

Tender Cords and general Liniment This
is the best liniment in the world and is used
by Robert Bonner to-day in preference to
any other
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08
MysOEtLAgEOUs,
SATURDAYS EXPERIENCES.

Last Saturday made great havoc with the big piles of
clothing Fall overcoas twice decimated and every
grade of suits in each range from the small boys to the fat
MEMS down before the demand and yet the stock
up strong odayo great the Oak Hall What
this big demand 1t that the people and Oak
Hall association for mutual profit "Sc confidence
is the basis, great sales the result
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08
OCTOBER SCHEME.
/, ss7 Prizes.

1851 Ifizes.s''t'.ss'''.' '~'''''' '"''''''' -
WHOLE TICKETR, o.. HALF TICAETs VI
q Tickets, $50; IS Tickets, 800.
Remit Money or Bank Draft in Letter, O. p, seh1 n1
nv Express. Don't send by Registered Letter , "
Post Once Order, Orders Of So and upMadH " "
Hxpress, can b ePant at our expense. nIeeH al
orders 10 j. J.DoCGLAS, Louisville n.y.
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08

l!lil.3:A' [ ! {
$4,000 for So

OND REGULAR MONTHLY DRAWING
q WILL TAKE place in the Masonic Hall,
Masonic Temple Building, In Louisville, Ky.,
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08
A REVOLUTION IN SINGLE NUMBER
DRAWINGS.

R1Every ticket holdor.his own supervisor
can call out the number on his ticket and see the
corresponding number on the tag placed In the
wheel In his pre- enee. These cravings Will
occur on the fast Thursday of every montn'
Read the magnificent
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08
Thursday, October 25, 1883

LAWFUL LOTTERY AND FAIR DRAW;
INGS, chartered by the Legislature OF ky;, and
State. Bond given to Henry County in the sum
ofslOO, 900 for the prompt payment OF all prizes
sold.
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08

The above remedies are in use by the
leading horsemen in the country, and as they
are simple and safe any person may admin
lister them to his horse and save large doc
tors fee. They will do all they are recon-
mended to if the directions are followed and
they are kept constantly on hand.
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08
hOans.

iOft5s 66olgate's Everglades" sold by Dan.
varied 81 ~ uggist, cor. Second and Market. A
'''' stock of trusses.
The daily gazette., 1883-10-08
GENERAL CONDITION POWDER.

This may be used as the very best treat
ment in Epizootic, Distemper, Swollen Glands
and should be administered especially after a
hard drive to prevent the animal from being
feverish. 1t is indispensable in colds and
coughs
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-10-04

Hon. A. o. Marsh delivered on Thursday
last at the Clarke County Fair an address
which was marked for the practicability of
its suggestions, and for sound common sense
Mr.. Marsh speaks in an easy, otf-hand man
ner, making himself understood without
study of his words, and with none of the
extra rhetorical fiourishes which often con-
fuse more than they aid the listener. His
audience seemed well pleased, and listened
attentively through the whole of the dis.
course, which was not of too great length
Our space does not permit us to give re-
sumo of the matter of the address.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-10-04

DRAw-PoKER, from the scientific point of
view, is the subject of an entertaining arti-
Gle by Richard A. Proctor, in The Modern
Age for October. The same number con-
tains "Bulwer, Macready and 'Richelieu, u"
by the Earl Of Lytton Owen Meredith a
detailed account of the deliberations be-
tween the author of ''Richelieu" and the
creator of the part, drawn principally from
the correspondence between the actor and
the dramatst. "Eurikleia, the Greek Girl, +"
isa powerful story of Bulgarian life, from
the German Of Schneegans, and "The Or
DEAL is an entertaining yachting sketch.
"Ranch Life in the West" shows that that
kind of existence is not altogether coulew
de rose. The poetry and other articles in
this issue are all good, and the number for
October is even better than its predecessors.
SLIGO per annum. Address, The Modern
Age Publishing Co., New York City.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-10-04

The 2lsT INFANTRY. The Oregonidn in
commenting upon the failure to transfer this
regiment east this season. pays it the fol-
lowing well deserved compliment:
The Twenty. first during tho past twelve
years has done as much rough work as any
other regiment in the army, and perhaps
more. 1t has gone through three severe
Indian wars. has built half score Of posts
in the wilderness, and majority Of its Off
GERS have during the greater part of the
time endured the discomforts OF hard from
tier life. The record of its marches, and
its battles form an interesting and heroic
chapter of history, and it's gallantry has
won the honorable nickname Of 'the
fighting Twenty .first."
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-10-04

CoRRECT.-An exchange says: "a real
estate dealer in Spirit Lake, Iowa. has given
up the business saying that a man cannot
be a successful land speculator and Chris
tian at the same time" 1t follows, of
course, that the unsuccessful land specula-
tor is Christian, and this gives to Vancou-
yer the finest lot of material for missionaries
to be found on the Pacific coast. Send in
your acquisitions. and the real estate Chris
tians can here be found to ill them all.