The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1883-12-21
"reminiscences ., Gov ,cl, proceedings.
IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY.

| IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY.
One day not long since one of our indus
| trious and energetic with other peoples bus
iness) fellow-towpsmau, of the Mississippi
plan, who beyond all things, is noted for
his large belly, small appetite, number
fifteen brogans, and No. six hat; and who
has taken upon himself the important duty
Of attending to the city walks. concluded
few days ago to start ur town, but as he
glanced out of two by three window he
discovered that the thawing away of the
frost had created slight mud aud not wish
ing to walk acr~ a block south on a good
sidewalk before turning east to come a
straight line to main street, he turned alb
ruptly and gathered sheet of blank paper
and wrote upon it "thar' ''whar" and a
whole lot Of other similarly constructed
hyroylyphics which no living human could
begin to understand or interpret Except the
city council of Corvallis. In flash he
| appended saw buck TO it for name and
forthwith dispatched it TO the leadiu.;
spirits in the city council. The result was
| the council came immed atcly together 20
| ing man had ever seen before. A ter labor-
in, and pondering over its contents for
hours: aud brinq,i ing to bea- all of the won
| derFul foresight aud intelligence OF our
great imao NATIVE town council, whose Gre
alton must have been only FOR the purpose
of meeting emergencies, poude ed and dis
cussed the probable meaning OF the wonder
full charicatures uuIil the small sleepy hours
were about revolving around pear the time
of night when the ,lutiful cnck IS about to
sound the alarm of approaching day, when
all at once one of the town council, not quite
so sleepy as the rest of his du5iful city dads
and who .ided himself on a proper inter-
probation of hum chcricatures Sin the
case O. an emergency" arose from his seal
where he bad been anchored for SO lol. i'll
deep meditation and announced 10 his
wearied ard almost exhausted fellow council
men that he had deciphered the conten5s
of 1de wonderful production. He spoke as
follows: 'Mr. Mayor aud fellow council
men. this is petition and that sew buck is
| the signature Of our honored fellow towns
man - -, our Mississippi friend
he asks our honorable body to construct a
sidewalk from his place directly east toward
the river so that when he gels that pointer
o. his which he envelopes in that No. 6
hal poin ed directly east towards the river
he can come on dire / line TO main street
wittout turning 20 .he right OF TO the let.
Gentlemen the petitioner IN utter says thai
he has determined chat he will 90 up town
that way aud no other, aud [ know, geu-
tlemen that with the powerful intellec.
| thai L1is lnaa has under his No. hat, that
as he has concluded 10 come up town in the
way he indicates, that four yoke of oxen
aud a Steam locomotive could not turn his
course; aud you gentlemen all are aware Of
the extreme size OF his feet and the great
weight of bis carcass, 20 that il he starts
up town before sidewalk is built he viii
sink TO the mud so fas5 that Tim! Douahue
aud four hundred more Dutchmen could moi
dig fast enough to set him out, aud this
friend of ours may thus loose his lie by be.
i :; nj ed to death for want Of sidewalk.
aud the city might thus loose her drtful
ovelseer o. sidewalks. I kaow gentleme
as well as al the rest Of You that this petit
tione' MIGHT turh south and walk Sd fet,
or Just across one block, on a new and
number one sidewalk where he could turn
directly east and get TO main street all the
way on a sooG sidewalk already constructed.
aud not have TO go sin le foot further
than he will when the sidewalk he desires
is constructed. But then you know Mr.
| Mayor aud fellow couuc'meu that when a
man with large bran power i'll a No. hat
ike our petitinner aud overseer Of sidewalks
gats h,s head poinied in certain direction
as illustrated before. il is impossible to
turn his course, anil therefore You see that
there is dang ,r OF severe accident befall;i 2
our Mississippi friend who IS painting US iu
the sidewalk business. I therefore unms.
takably and empa cally say that this is a
case Of 'emeryeucy,'' whereupou his
brother couucilmen all chi'neG in unison
/ saying ''yes this certainly is case Of
emergency" Wherenpon an ordinance
was lead the list aud second time declar.
lag the case in hand 70 be an emergency,
and the ordinance passed by unanimous
vote ordering the walk built before the
petitioners could ST mp town. The
council then adjourned to take nap. while
they would probably dream over the pro.
priety OF the construction OF sewer uDder
in emergency, costing nearly 5000 Of the
peoples hard earned coin: which could no.
possibly he used within six months alter It's
completion.
| Alsaa Items.
ALSEA, Or Dec 10 1854