The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-04-20

servant of having follower, and thinks
she has caught her at lasD: "Mary,
your master wishes to know the mean
ing of these large footmarks; can you
explainP" Mary: "Oh, yes, mum! My
sisters been here, and she has got the
govt so bad she has to wear big boots"
Beautys blunder: ''Have you no love
for the beautiful, thenp" queried she, in
winsome tones. emo; but / think /
should have if I only dared" "Have
courage, young man. ''Oh, l wasn't
thinking of you at all. I" But she
hustled out of the room, hating herself
for having sprung the trap too soon.
A supposed panther, which had been
roaming over good share of Connect
icut and Massachusetts, for three
months, was trapped the other night
and proved to be dog without grit
enough to show his teeth at u man with
a club. Sparkling has been promptly
resumed.
A number of young women in upper
! East Tennessee have announced as their
motto, through the Brownsville Star:
Total abstinence or no husbands. 1t
is sad to think that these young women
have looked SO much into the wine when
it is red in the cup that their matrimo-
NAL prospects are marred.
Some philosopher and scientist makes
| the startling announcement that Adam
was seven feet high. Well, what of it?
Adam never experienced the pleasure
and S25 week of travelling with fat
woman, some pink-eyed children and
hand-organ, the way the men of the
present day do who have attained the
height of seven feet.
Balloonng has become so popular in
Vienna that the Municipal Council have
deemed it advisable to pass law: THAT
aerial voyages shall not be granted Ii
cense until it has been proved to the
satisfaction of the authorities that they
have received the consent of their
wives" Some things are easy to prove.
Fitz-Adolphus Jones is young man
of free manners He took the liberty
the other day of telling his pretty cousin
/ Leila, in the presence of her awful
mamma, that she was "a pearl of o
| girl" To which the mamma responded
with dignity: ''You forget, sir, that you
are addressing the child of my bosom!"
Viewed from that point, it was sort OF
a half-shell compliment.
Frank Frayne, the actor whose reck-
less shooting caused the death of young
lady on the stage few weeks ago, mar
rowiy escaped with his life, in an en-
counter with the lions used in connec-
ton with his new play. That Frayne
will fool around until he finds something
worse than rifle or a roaring lion, and
his career will be nipped in the bud. 1t
is only question of time for him.
Not long since Lily, little girl of S
years, after saying her evening prayers,
began to indulge in an original petition
of her own, varying it according to her
moods She was aware that she had
not been particularly good on a certain
day, and her evening prayers were thus
supplemented: II pray the Lord to
make Lily good little girl, and if at
first you don't succeed, try, try again "
Mrs. Lydia Maria Child and her hus-
band lived for u quarter of q century
without a servant in their pleasant
home in Wayland, Mass. Once, when
he said to her, Il wish for your sake,
dear, was as rich as Cresus," she re-
piled: ''YOu are Cr9sus, for you are
King OF Lydia. This is the poetic way
of telling which had to get up and start
the fire.
''You may talk about your mean
men," said one rustic to another on the
ferry-boat the other day, "but we've
got woman over there in Alameda
who beats all" ''Kinder closets sheph
"Closep Why, last month her husband
died--fourth husband, mind-and I'm
blamed if she didn't take the door-plate
off the front door, had his age added.
and then nailed it onto his coffin. Said
she guessed likely she'd be wanting q
new name on the door soon anyway"
A street railroad convention has re-
Gently been held in Boston. 1t was not
| decided whether conductors should con-
tinue to gaze at the blue vault of heaven
when man is Fastening along through
mud two feet deep to catch the car.
But the conclusion was arrived at that
under no circumstances should car
carry more than 141 passengers at the
same time, or stop for anyone to get off
unless the trackw was blocked by a freight
| car.
A Colorado man who expected q gang
| of lynchers to come for him about the
middle of the night took himself to the
cellar, leaving pet grizzly bear in his
place in bed. The lynchers didn't bring
any lights, but made very plucky at
tempt to get the bear out and lynch it,
but gave it up after three of them had
lost an eye apiece, two had suffered the
loss of thumbs, chewed off, and the
other six were more or less deprived of
skin. That man now has q tremendous
reputation as a fighter, and the bear
didn't mind the work one bit.
Young Glucky, Of the Union Club, had
been up in Marin county shooting for
week, when he received a dispatch call
ing him home. "My dear boy" said his
PARTNER. taking him aside. sshaye YOU the