Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1883-03-31
NORTHERN TRIBUNE.
SATURDAY, MARCH 81. 1883.
rhe poet aud Ia. Editor.
BY MAX ADELER.


While Col. Bangs, editor of the Argus,
was sitting in his 0ilice one day, man
whose brow was clothed with thunder
entered. Fiercely seizing chair, he
slammed his hat on the table, hurled
his umbrella on The floor, and sat down.
"Are you the eiitor?" he asked.
EYES,"
"Can you read writing|
"Of course"
"Read that, then" he said, thrusting
at the Colonel an envelope with an in
scription on it.
d" said the Colonel, trying to
spell it.
man.
IS? Oh, yes, see. Well, the words
look little like Salt for Dinner said
the Colonel.
"No, sir" said the man, nothing of
the kind. That's my name -SamI H.
Drummer. I knew you couldn't read. l
called to see about that poem you print
ed the other day, on the 'Surcease OF
Sorrow"
II don't remember it," said the
Colonel.
"Of course you don't. because it went
into the paper under the infamous title
of 'Smearcase Tomorrow
"A stupid blunder of the compositor,
suppose"
"Yes, sir; and that is what l want to
see you for. The way that poem was
mutilated was simply scandalOus. l
haven't slept night since. 1t exposed
me to derisiOn. People think l am an
ass. Let me show you"
go ahead" said the Colonel.
"The first line when wrote 1t, read In
this manner:
Lying By q weeping willow underneath
That is beautiful, poetic, affecting. Now,
how did your vile sheet present it to the
publicP There it is. Look at that.
Made it read in this way:
Lying to weeping widow, to induce her to
Weeping widow, mind you'll A widow!
This is too much-its enough to drive
man crazy"
"Tm sorrv," said the Colonel; "but-"
"But look a-here at the fourth verse;"
said the poet, that's worse yet. What l
said was:
Cast thy pearls before the swine, and lose them
in the dirt
1 wrote that out clearly and distinctly,
in plain, round hand. Now, what does
your compositor do? Does he catch the
sense of that beautiful sentiment. Does
sets it up in this fashion:
Cart thy pills before the sunrise, and love
them if they hurt.
Now isn't that cold-bloOded outrage on
q mans feelings? I'll leave it to you If
it isn't"
"It's hard, that's a fact" said the
Colonel.
"And then take the fifth verse. In the
original manuscript 1t said, plain as day
light:
Take away the jingling money; it is only gilt
tering dross.
A man with only one eye, and cataract
over that, could have read the words cor
rectly. But your pirate up stairs there
do you know what he did, He made
. 1t read:
Take away the jeering monkeys on sorely
glandered boss.
BY Georgel felt like Draining him with
shovel. was never so cut up in my
life"
ut was natural. tOo," said the Colonel.
"There, for instance, was the sixth
verse. wrote:
am weary with the tossing Of the ocean as il
heaves.
It is a lovely line, too; but imagine my
horror and the anguish Of my family
when opened your paper and saw the
line transformed into:
am wearing out my trousers till they're open
at the knee.
That is little too muchl That seems
to me like carrying the thing an inch OF
two too far. think have cOnstitu
tional right to murder that compositor
don't yOuw
II think you have"
Let me read you one more verse.
wrote:
Iswell the flying echoes as they roam along
And feel my soul awaken to the ecstasy tina
thrills.
Now what do you suppose that miser
able outcast Of yours turned that into
Why, into this:
smell the frying shoes as they roast along tn
bulls
And peel my sole mistaken in the erectar
that whirls.
Ciibberish, sir, awful gibberish! l mus
slay that man. Where is he?"
Hes out just now" said the Colonel
Come in tomorrow"
81 will" said the poet, land l will com
armed"
Then he put on his hat, shoulders
his umbrella, and drifted off down stairs
The tunnel under the English channe
has been finished to a mile and quartz
of the French coast, and the engineer
promise to have cars running thrOug
it within two years. The fishes in tn
channel will be deprived of great dea