Omaha daily bee., 1883-08-04
IMPIETIES.

San Francisco has a firebug who is a girl of
II and n church member.
Trade dollars will still be found useful to
drop into the contribution-box. The heather
will not know the difference.
"All flesh is grass, ~ and perhaps this is the
reason why the mowing-machlne occasionally
chews up the harvest field.
The boys who go in swimming after Sunday
school probably do so under the impression
that cleanliness is next to Gocliness.
There is a camp meeting of Spiritualists
near Philadelphia, and at night the woods are
full of spooks who blow horns and jump
among the branches of the trees like squirrels.
1t is not true that preachers and sections
have formed a brotherhood and intend to
strike against Sunday work, although judging
from the emptiness of fashionable city churches
in summer they might as well.
At Greensboro, Ala, n negro divine is ped
ding out among his people "A Copy of q Let
ter from Jesus Christ" at 10 cents u copy. He
tells his brethren that whoever buys a copy
''de Lord will abide wild 'um an bless 'um."
Worshipers in St. Demands Church, Co
hoes, N. O., were amazed when John Ratfer-
ty, during the services, walked up to the
priest, announced he was Pope Plus TX, ard
lice Sergt. Smith locked the Pope up.
lHeSe dIt tlic tClOcS VI u lblllly ClEClc HI
Springfield, Mass, according to the Republi.
can of that city: MARY, you little brat, "
came harshly from the window of a clean-look-
ing house yesterday, come here and stop that
racket or I'll pound you black and blue all
over"-then the same voice in shrill soprano
81 will sing of my Redeemer."
When the late Col. Isaac O.. Barnes boarded
at the Bromfield house, his jokes and quaint
remarks afforded great amusement to his
| fa1lpyu- bnor1aru nna SUNDAY nnrptnn ipSt
as the congregation came out from church at
the next door, the sidewalk being covered with
ice and very slippery, a large, dignitied man
came down on his back quite suddenly. The
colonel and n facetious boarder saw the fall
from the window where they were sitting. 81
say, colonel" observed his companion, ''do you
believe that man is a member of the church in
good standing?' "No," replied the colonel, 81
should say he was a backslider."
A colored sister of the Methodist faith who
was looking on at the immersion of a company
of Baptist converts in an Alabama river the
other day became so Interested in the specta-
Gle rs to venture close to the waters edge. The
officiating clergyman, whether through malice
or ignorance will probably never be known,
seized and souscd her into the water before
she had time to object. She cam up toe
much out of breath to speak, and under she
went again. After the second dip she
and shouting: "G'way from here,
Don't you chuck me under ag'in, you nigger!'
But the clergyman was memorable, and sent
her to the bottom a third time. When finally
she had escaped from his clutches and stood
dripping upon the shore, she shook her fist
and screamed: "Oh, I'll fix you! III bust
the head often you, you Urinary trash! sousin
me and nearly drownin' me, when you know'd
well enough all de time dat Use u Methodist
and been christened by dem dat's your betters,
and kn.ws mo- bout 'ligion dan all de Baptists
dat ebber shouted, you mis'able black scum
and me got de rheumatic enough to set me
crazy! I'll see what de law kin do for you'll III
have you arrested dis very day, or my names
not Johanna Johnson, you woody. headed herin'
You hear met and Johanna went home to
change her clothes, and the ceremony pro
| ceala1