Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-03-24
AN APOLOGY NEEDED.
Why Boston Paper Neglected the Usual
Editorial on Washington.

AN APOLOGY NEEDED.
Why a Boston Paper Neglected the Usual
Editorial on Washington.
An apology is due our readers, says the
Boston Globe, editorially, Feb. %, for the
absence of the usual editorial reminder of
the significance of the day. To pass over
the 22d of February without recapitula-
ton of the greatness and goodness of
Washington and his times, and the weak
ness and wickedness of the present is, we
know, an outrage upon journalistic pro-
priety. But we are led to commit it through
a series of mishaps and mistaken conf
dences to which any newspaper Office is
liable, but the Nervousness of the offense
can be condoned only by relating how it
came about.
The statistical editor was requested to
write an editorial about Washington's
birthday, and told to ring in the proper
proportions of proud and tender gratitude
excited by the fact that we live in a coun-
try once governed by so great and good
man, and aesthetic sorrow that it qas so de-
Perforated. The statistical editor was
chosen for this duty because the remainder
of the staff, in anticipation of some such
edict, chad folded their canes about them
and silently stolen away" But he, in his
figure-guarded innocence, had never
thought of such a possibility, and was
deeply immersed in the just-received CEN
sus compendium, by the aid of figures
from which he was about to prove
that the number of sheep dying in the state
Of Oregon during the year 1879 bears
striking proportion to the number of Re-
publican votes cast during the present ses-
sion of the Massachusetts legislature. Ow-
ing to this interruption of his labors it is
not known what ominous conclusion he
might have drawn.
He began his work by calculating what
Washington's age would have been if he
had lived to the present time. Using this
as starting point, he gave his vivid i'm
agination full rein and computed the num-
Der of times, approximately, that Washing
| toms Mount Vernon constituency would
have persuaded him to represent them
in congress, the number of times his
seat would have been contested
by his opponent, the probable
charges of bribery and, looked at merely
as question of averages, the probable re-
ports of the investigating committees.
| When he had reached this point, having
travelled thereto through several miles of
| figures, he was told he might return to his
census compendium, and the financial
editor having just made his appearance he
was requested to pay his respects in proper
form to the memory of George Washing
| ton.
| He had just come up from State street,
and the result of his unaccustomed effort
| to transfer his point of view from the
board of trade to the pinnacle of patriot
ism was that after several hours labor he
submitted a few pages of manuscript
which set forth the statements that the
iron market was not affected
by the decline of public con-
fdsnce in the little Ratchet story;
that the principal reason this country has
for holding the memory of Washington in
proud and grateful remembrance is that
he always bought on a rising market, to
which fact is due the vast moral influence
he has always welded; that, contrary to
general opinion, this is not due to his
having refused crown, for it is evident
he knew the stock thereof was watered. It
was feared the dash of cynicism in these
opinions would not have beneficial in
fluence, and the hesitating entrance of the
aesthetic editor gave a new ground of hope.
Thinking all danger was over he had in
cautiously returned, but before he could
retreat he was seized and told to write
something about Washington's birthday.
He emerged from his sacred sanctum
just as the paper was going to press, with
the following opinions Transcribed upon
paper: eff Washington had lived to the
present time his moral influence upon the
people at large, great as that has always
been, would have been immeasurably in
creased by his adherence to knee-breeches
and the consequent educating of the peo-
pie in the principles Of aestheticism as ap-
piled to apparel. If there is anything in
his life to be regretted it is the fact that he
once allowed himself to be photographed
beside his horse at Valley Forge, and, pho
togrephy not having then reached its pres
ent state of excellence, the pictures then
produced have done much to hinder the
artistic development of the people. It is
strange that a man so great, good and far
| seeing with regard to all matters of politi-
cal importance did not entertain a more
tender regard for the artistic welfare of
coming generations" And the aesthetic
editor refused to believe that he had not
done just what he had been ordered to do,
and done it we'll.