The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-08-03
Studying the Timetable.

"My dear" said Mr.. Spoopendyke,
running his thumb down the list of towns
on the timetable and glazing helplessly
at the column of figures, "my dear, the
man must have given me the wrong
business. We can never get anywhere
with this"
T.. "Let's see." murmured Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, laying her hand on his arm and
drawing the timetable toward her.
There's Boston Lv. and Albany Ar.
2:30 to 2:4O. That's plain enough"
ut is, is it?" snorted Mr.. Spoopendyke,
abandoning the table and bending his
eyes on his wife. think that's plain
enough, do YEP Show me how you
make it. If you've got this thing by the
tail, wiggle itonce for my information. !"
"Why," duttered Mrs. Spoopendyke,
"you just add 'em together. Ought's
ought, four and three's seven, eight and
two's ten, put down the ought and car
ry-"
"Carry swill to the hogsr' roared
Spoopendyke, bracing himself in his
seat and surveying his wife with marked
disapprobation. THAT'S about as much
as you know, anyway. What interest
has Lv and Ar. got in this thing? Got
some kind of q notion that they own the
road, haven't YEP P'raps we think ones
tunnel and the others bridge. Well,
they amt, and they're not half-baked
females who don't know q timetable
from dog law. Now, you let me fig
ure this thing if you don't want to spend
the balance of your precious life on the
road"
Certainly, my DEAR" cooed Mrs.
Spoopendyke, nesting up to her hus-
band and glancing around the car to see
if he had been overheard. "You can
make it out if anybody can"
"Now, we started from New York at
1870 a. m.," continued Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, "and we got to Buffalo at 1915 a.
m. Then according to this, we leave
Buffalo at 1885 and 1910 for Chicago.
What l want to know is, why we leave
Buffalo twice."
II suppose its to make sure of getting
away from there" suggested Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, fastening her thumb and fore
finger on the margin of the timetable
with n death grip. "May be the engine
leaves at 1885 and the last car at 12:40,"
she added, rs the new explanation oc-
Cured TO her. "Anyhow it is better to
get away from there twice than stay
there altogether, don't you think so,
dearP" and she looked up at him con-
fidingly.
"S'pose anybody along the line of this
road knows what you are driving atP"
snarled Spoopendyke, hauling at his end
s. fA.N Nn1N ~ xtvslI vng
Engine leaves at 1910! That's the idea!
1t took you to hit it! When l get time
to fix you up with cowcatcher and a
schedule of cut rates, I'm going to start
an opposition road with you! Now let
this thing alone, / tell YEP
There it is!'' exclaimed Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, flushing with another discovery.
1--WE got it now! Of course we've got
to leave Buffalo twice to get to Chicago
twicer' and Mrs. Spoopendyke settled
herself back and regarded the table with
much complacency.
"Oh, you've got it," roared Spoopen-
dyke! "This railroad is twins! Leaves
everywhere twice and gets everywhere
twice! Nobody would have even found
it out but you! All you want now is a
misplaced switch and a coroner's in
quest to be through trunk line! Can't
you see that's two different trains that
get in here at 7:40P S'pose they only
run one train on this dod gasted roadp
Got o notion that the train goes both
ways at the same timep l know all
about this as well as you do, but what l
want TO understand is how this train
leaves Buffalo twice Got il nOWp Think
you've fathomed my design on this time
tablet"
Perhaps there are two different trains
out of Buffalo," hazarded Mrs. Spoop-
endyke.
Mr.. Spoopendyke deliberately tore the
timetable into q thousand pieces, drop
ped them carefully under the seat, buried
his hands in his pockets and gazed out
of the window.
II don't care" soliloquized Mrs.
Spoopendyke. There can't two trains
arrive anywhere without leaving some