The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-11-03
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A Kansas town has legislated
against the goat as a RUTHLESS destroy
er," q terror and course"
A glass worker can make S175 per-
month, and if he works glass in an
other direction he can lose all he makes
and all he can borrow. Pittsburgh TEL
egrdph.
-''Fwat kind of railroad dye We,
call this, anyway" said an indignant
lrishman on an accommodation train.
eth be shtSppin half an hour every
five minutes, bad luck to it.'-BufdIo,
m Y Bulletin.
Sin is very much like the ordinary
North American mule. 1t may be very,
tame and docile at the front, but in the
rear there is always sly kick hidden
away and you'd better be on your;
guard.-N Y. Herald.
This is indeed prosperous coun-
try. Once was the time when our
wealthiest merchants were not ashamed
to carry home their marketing. Now
adays the poorest paid clerk would
scorn to do it Chicago Herald.
A couple of pickpockets followed a.
gentleman for some blocks with view
of avaiing themselves of the first OPP
portunity to relieve him of his purse.
He suddenly turned into lawyer Of
flee. ''What shall we do now?' asked
one. "Wait for the lawyer" said the
other Philadelphia call.
Mrs. Enthuse: ''How [ envy YOU
your garden, Mrs. Smith Any one
would know these were fresh toma-,
toes" Little johnnie Smith (who had
been in the kitchen) -"And right UNI
der the Fresh Tomatoes there's the
biggest picture | ever saw. It runs
around the whole can. Can't l get it,,
mammal -Strdy.
Even the al phabet is ruralizing.
| Only four letters remain in town. -
| N. Y NelOs. But there are only ten in
''the country so where are the rest
Whitehall Times. Some are in the
forest; others in the sea.-OH City Der
| rick. And all of them are in the pretty
little Icelandic town of Abericonymbu-
Observation-Disclosures -Aler--
chant TrGUeler.
"A curious formation was recently
discovered by an ice-man of Richmond,
Va, in chunk of ice that he was
handling. The curiosity was in the
shape of asilver vase filled with flow
ers. The outlines of the vase were
clearly defined, the shading being such
as to bring the entire conformation into
bold relief, and the flowers with which
1T was filled were as natural as life.
The curious sight was photographed,
and upon melting the ice it was found
that the space showing the vase and
flowers was simply a vacuum filled
with air, which in the process of
freezing in some unaccountable way
made the perfect shape alluded to.
"A Sage who was on his weary jour.
ney to Wisconsin came upon a crowd
one day and observed general sad
ness in all faces. "Why this gloom?"
queried the old man as he laid down
his bundle and felt for the front end of
his plug of tobacco. go Sage, we
mourn the death of a good man." was
the reply. WAS he honored?" "He.
was. ~ "Sober, upright, charitable and
given to peace?" ''He was" "Who
OF you praised and encouraged him in
hfe!' asked the old man as he looked
around him. A hush fell upon the
crowd and no one replied Praise
mat comes after death, - whispered the
sage docs not even cut down the
uhuertaker's bills. Better squander
your tlme saving wood for his widow. "
moral; The widow will be expected to
take IN plain sewing to support herself.
! --Detr0U Free Press