The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-10-04
WIT AND HUMoR-

| C1yly concealed behind q ian.
Am quite content TO be a man.
Always take beauty at its face value.
Rock of Ages-Grandpa and grandma
trying the new hammock.
The women who do fancy work don't
fancy work.
A fashion item announces that ladies
are wearing V-shaped bodices. A v
shaped bodice spoils an X-shaped note.
When Fogg saw a train on the dress
of an old lady he remarked that it was
behind time.
Lighthouses, from theatrical point
of view, always indicate breakers
ahead.
They thought they heard burglars in
the house last week, and in going down.
stairs to investigate Bibbs said to his
wife: You 60 first; it's mean man
that would shoot a woman"
| YES said the milliner, ''the suicide
| of Mrs. Drestokil is terrible affair.
Why. she did it the very day | sent her
a new bonnet, and people will think the
bonnet had something to do with il, and
it will ruin me"
She tenderly pushed him from her as
they stood in bay-window with the
soft moonlight falling upon them, and
said: willie. dear, think you had
better try some other hair-dye; your
mustache tastes like turpentine."
A young lady wants to know what is
a proper fancy dress ball costume for
girl with very auburn-in fact, red
! hair Wear green dress and put
seeds in your hair and go as water
melon.
A Young woman in an Ohio town has
married her brothers. wife's father.
| When last seen she was busy with a
| compass and dictionary trying to
| study out what relation she was to her.
self.
In his trial sermon before Boston
church preacher said: 1.-The children
of Israel were repeatedly on the point
| of manumission, but al the very last
moment the Lord afflicted Pharaoh with
auricular Justification" He received
unanimous call.-Iroy Times.
As tornadoes-on earth are produced
| by electric storms on the sun, we sep
| pose it will be vain for scientists to at
tempt to remove the cause. About all
man can do IS to be calm until he sees
| one coming; then get out of the way if
possible, and not rush 10 and fight it.
"Well," said jaunty son-in-law,
lounging in from the office with his
fathers mail, you've got postal here
| from ma, and she SAYS she's met cy-
clone.'' 'Pity the cyclone was the
| old gentleman's crusty reply, as LIE
| jabbed his pen into the inkstand.
"Uncle," asks little Panl, ''when 1
am big will still be your nephew"
always, my boy; thus, when you are
sixty, you will still be my nephew, the
same as to-day" Little Paul, after
| moments reflection: Yes, but you
will not have been my uncle for long
time"
| Vereker has hit upon scheme where
by he expects to make fortune. He
will advertise largely: ''For 10 cents |
will disclose plan whereby one-cent
postage-stamps can be made to do the
| work of three-cent stamps" His plan
is perfectly simple and cannot fail.
| Use three of them.
A Western writer thinks that it is I'M
| fortunate for women that they must
| wait to be courted. Yes, but Just think
| how unfortunate it would be for fell
| low if dozen women should follow
him home and insist upon remaining
until midnight counting him.-Bost0n
/ Star.
81 have been married now," boosted
prosy old fellow, ''more than thirty
| years, and have never given my wife
cross word" That's because you
never dared, uncle" said little ne
phew who lived with them. '.If you
| had auntie would have made you
jump"
I Professor Schele de We're says that
the sherry cobbler was known in Eng
| land long before it was revived in this
country. Next thing we know John
Bull will be claiming priority of inven-
ton in pumpkin pie, dyspepsia and tobac-
co chewing-those three grandest
achievements of the Yankee Nation
Boston Transcript.
They have good deal to say about
women's flirting propensities. But,
bark We, how many fish do you think
you would have for breakfast if the
| fishes didn't take the bait that is drop
| ped to themP Fishing would soon fall
| into desuetude or some other place, if
the fisherman wasn't aided and allotted
by his fnny victims. Go to! Blame
not the women, but rather blame your
self, poor simpleton!
An evangelist mounted the platform
in Kentucky meeting house. and look
ing about the room for moment, he
suddenly exclaimed: ''Are you pre-
pared to die?" 1t was well that he was
very spry man, and it was well also
that the pulpit was double thickness
The evangelist says a Kentucky con-
gregation is very responsive. but you
must be very careful what kind of Ian
guage you use when in its presence.
What's in name? First evening at
the summer-resort. .'Who lives in that
| splendid house?" "Oh, that is DR.. ia
laps residence. He is very wealthy"
''And whose beautiful villa is that just
beyond?" "Dr. SIENNA lives there He
owns another house down in the vii
lage." Him! AS we were driving
along | saw just below here the most
charming place ever set eyes on"
"Oh, yes; that belongs to DR.. Quinine.
| Richest man in town-no end of mon
ey." Visitor returns to mediate upon
the cheerful intelligence which has been
impaired to him. but he is not happy.
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