The Red Cloud chief., 1883-05-18

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There are many Kin I. II the h..
family. hat the frr.s kposn y the
weather liar. The older ke 70 the grrsi-
rr his licrnse fo indulge In - fsvos1se
pa.sime. Every dsy 81 the year fur
nishes him with an excu~e. and All he
asks IL for somebody tn talk to. The
weather liar rrm~mfer that the winter
Of 1879 va. exactly like tina, 81 1891;
the sprinx of iss! puts him i'm mind 81
the spring of 1874; the cold raves u
the past winter didn't begin with tho-e
in f77A. He = remember winters
when not q fake of snow fell. and sum
mcr. when fh~r~ ws. q fro~s every 9th
er niyhI for THREE months. He has .-rn
the Thermometer drop To forty-s~,en
degrees below in January. and climb 10
$50 degrees In August. He remembers
one year when cherries were ripe In
MAY. and another when they could not
be picked until November. No matter
what the weather IL. the weather liar
has always scen wore. II IL ~ for
two DAYS he has seen IL snow for four.
II IL rains for \ week. he can remember
when IL poured down wiihou, . break
for three. II YOU have s.en IL hot
enough tn fry egg- on q stone sidewalk.
be- has seen nm AZ melt on top of n lump
Of ice.
THE Ei.H A
rank. second on the : 1t. He goes fish
ing about once in five Yea r. and spends
the rest 81 the time in lying about wha,
occurred He caught a bass weighing
(. . - 81. Lx.L IL.
and let him cscal C. He had n bite from
n pickerel four fee, long. but studied
his toe and couldn't pull up ut the
proper moment. He began fishing with
minnows for bait. but the fish bit ~
greedily that he finally tied n horn but
ton To the hook and pulled EN- on, as
fast as he could drop the line. He
caught an even fubful. but while he was
eating luncheon the wharf gave way and
let tub and fish into tb. water. The
fish liar can be found sitting on the
counter II the grocery Of an evening.
all wound up and ready To begin bust
ness. and nothing lets the sunshine into
his life ~ quick as to get hold Of some
one who will gasp out occasionally:
My stars but Is that possible?"
II HORsE
stands third on the list. He il a man
who has had a horse which could go in
2.D. He hasn't got him now, but that
doesn't make any difference. He has
driven that horse in a race with an ex-
press train. and taken first money.
And he also had n running horse which
once made a dash of twenty-five miles
on a bet Of 5000. He HASN'T the horse
or the money ut the present time, but
he can give you the name Of a dozen
leading bank presidents and Chief-Jus-
tees who saw that dash.
The horse-liar doesn't stop at lying
about his own horses, but he j. ready To
put in his best licks on animals he never
saw. He is i'm the confidence Of the
owners Of all the celebrated equines. In
his opinion such q track is short and
such a track is long. He doesn't be-
ieve Rarus wa ever much Of a horse,
and he feels that he could drive Gold
smith Maid in three seconds faster than
she ever recorded. He is the identical
man who first saw speed in Flora
Temple. and fhc had wanted 10 be- mean
about it, he could have bought her for
ten dollars and an old pillow. and made
5000 "a of the trade. He knows all
about spavins. ring-bones. poll-evil. pink
eye and CHAMBERS, and he has a sure
cure for each one. His seat is on the
head of the second cracker-barIcl from
the stove each evening through
the winter. and when he can come across
some one who has invested fifteen dol
lars and a cross-cut saw in IN old plug Of
a horse 10 use in a cider-mill. he il in
his glory. He knows all about that
hcrse; been an awful good stopper: saw
him run away once. and killed two wom-
en-: Rarey tried TO tame him. but had
To give it up: reckon he could 90 out
now and give most Of the boys the dust:
and 81 on until the grocer rubs his
sleepy eyes, and regretfully says:
Come. you liars. it's time To lock up
and go home.-Dtro Free Press.