The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1883-04-27
WHY WE LAUGH.

1t Is no doubt sequel to Pekin, China.-
Yonkers Statesman Ey4.r.a-~ 1854
~ believe" sale one man, speaking of an.
other, ''that he would do anything-even eat
succotask in a strange hotel" .r.. usw
Latin has become virtually dead language
being chiefly used by physicians In writing
their prescriptions. Citizen. T
What did the Queen Of Englsnd put on
| her knee when she hurt II? Why, court
plaster, Of course.-Phitadelphia Ne,cs.
The Washington Republican made ludi.
crous mistake about the wedding of the
Spanish Infanta. It headed the item "Mar-
riage of Baby" ..a ..
Some new kind of idiot has risen to say
that shrimps are cure for nervous disease.
| As well assert that strawberry short-cake
will mend fractured leg.
Detroit Free Press: at is said that much
of the recent prosperity of the South Is due
to the slp.shod manner in which all North
ern drummers play poker"
Olive Logan says, "paragraphers have no
love for the beautiful" Come, come Olive,
they have; but bless you girlle, thirty years
| ago Is long time, remember"
Medical historians .re claiming that Adam
died from apoplexy, but the facts are against
them. Every Sunday school scholar knows
that his death resulted from fall.
1t is well enough for physicians to recon.
mend elephants milk to patients, but the
| next thing IL to secure the address of the
foundry engaged in its manufacture.
They are raising row with young man
in ul,n
thirteen different girls, It's getting so q
man cant have any fun at all In ths. State.
1t is said that elephants are taken OIL sub
scription by editors In India. The fact
proves to the Commercial Advertiser that
the press Is powerful even In hesLhen lands.
We haven't seen the first robin yet. but we
saw woman with . croquet mallet chasing
= man the other morning, and as the man
went over the fence IL looked very much like
an early spring The Major.
A Scotch parson said, somewhat sarcastic
cally, of bard drinker, that ..he put all en-
emy In his mouth to steal ava his brains,
but that the enemy, after thorough search,
returned without any thing"
"What county do you represent, sir?" ask
ed one individual Of another In front Of q
saloon In st. Paul. Num-, one day last week.
I'm not member OF the Legislature" was
The reply. "I'm only private citizen ON q
drunk"
Everything seems TO move in circle.
While, for instance, the lawyers are looking
up the authorities, the authorities are look
ing up the criminal, and the criminal In his
turn has to look up the lawyers.-Boston
Transcript.
Improper conversation by telephone Is bar
red sut, and New York Is not likely, there.
fore, to be corrupted by talking with Chicago
unless, perhaps, If Carter Harrison is allowed
To get al the Chicago end of the wire too
cften.-B Buffalo Express.
polite man truly: The scene is laid in
railway carriage, where the passengers are
smoking furiously. The eighth passenger,
courteously: "I beg your pardon, gentlemen
hut dG hope that my not smoking doesn't
Inconvenience you."-French Fun.
~ don't feel uneasy about the future pr ,s-
parity Of any Of my children except Tom,"
said lady In conversation with an arquant
ance. Poor Toms mind is weak, and
fear that, like his father, he will he compell-
ed TO practice law."-Arkansa,o Trareler.
"Charlie, you were born to be wri'er,''
remarked Jones. "Ah!' replied Charlie, blush
Ing slightly at the compliment; "you have
seen some ofthe things have turneds" mo, :"
said Jones; 81 wasn't referring 10 what you
had written. l was simply thinking what
q splendid ear you you had for carrying q
pen. Immense, Charlie; simply immense!"
Governor Foster, of Ohio, has not been
at all well lately, but, with his accustomed
good nature, makes light Of It. 'I am suffer
ing" he said to reporter, "with chills and
q severe cold; but don't report that, for
had my hair cut yesterday, and the boys
would put this and that together, you know,
and would never hear the last Of it."
This was the way his spouse encouraged
him when he fell from Memphis ferry boat
into the Mississippi, aud was struggling In
the water for dear life: snow, Samuel,
didn't tell you So? Now, then, work your
legs, ,fop ysur arms, hold your breath and re-
peat the Lords Prayer, for its mighty un.
certain, Samuel, whether you land In New
Orleans or in eternity" .... ... ..a..
A lawyer, having occupied journalists
room one night, thought to make joke ct
the expense of his host, and sent him the
following lines: .." A'-.
81 slept in an editors bed last night, "
When no other chanced to be nigh; r.F
How 1 thought, as tumbled the editors bed,
How easily editors lie." L. t---a...a. .#' :
The journalist was equal to the occasion, and
Immediately penning the following lines,
sent them TO the lawyer: M ar.r -.......r
"If the lawyer slept in an editors, bed
When no other CHANGED to be nigh;
And though he has written and naively said,
How easily editors lie; r.se Esra - 4. \
He must then admit, ~ be lay on that bed
Andslrpt to his hearts desire, p
Whafr'cr he may say of the editors bed,
Twas the lawyer himself was the liar"