The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-07
HIS Pa GETS MAD.

Ills "a GbTS MAI.
81 was down to the drug store this
morning, and saw your ma buying a lot
of court plaster, enough to make shirt,
should think. What's she doing with
so much court plaster, asked the gro
Gerry man OF the bad boy, as he came in
and pulled of his boots by the stove and
emptied out lot Of snow, that had col
lected as he walked through drift, on
the hearth, which melted and made Il
bad smell
80, guess she is going TO patch pa
up so he will hold water. Pas temper
got him into the worst muss you ever
see, last night Ii that museum was
here now they would hire pa and ex-
hibt him as the tattooed man tell you,
have got too old to be mauled as
though | was kid, and any man who
attacks me from this out, wants to have
his peace made with the insurance COM
panies, and know that his calling and
election is sure, because ! am a bad
man, and don't you forget it. And the
boy pulled on his boots and looked so
cross and desperate that the grocery
man asked him if he wouldn't try lit
tie new cider.
Good heavens" said the grocery
man, as the boy swallowed the cider
and his face resumed its natural look,
and the piratical frown disappeared
with the cider. you have not stabbed
your father, have you? | have feared
that one thing would bring on another,
with you, and that you would yet be
hung"
Nav, haven't stabbed him. 1t was
another cat that stabbed him. You see
pa wants me to do all the work around
the house, The other day he bought a
load Of kindliug wood, and told me to
carry il into the basement. | have not
been educated up to kindling wood, and
l didn't do it. When supper time
came, and pa found that had not car
ried in the kindling wood, be had hot
box, and he told me if that wood was
not in when he came back from the
lodge, that he would warm my Jacket
Well, ] tried to hire some one to carry
1t in, and got man to promise TO come
in the morning and carry it in and take
his pay in groceries, and was going to
buy the groceries here and have them
charged to pa, But that wouldn't help
me out that night. knew when pa came
home he would search for me. So |
slept in the back hall on a cot. But |
didn' want pa to have all his trouble
for nothing, so l borrowed an old tom
cat that my chum's oldma's aunt owns,
aud put the cat in my bed. thought
If pa came in my room after me, and
found that by his unkindness that had
changed to tom cat, he would be sorry.
That is the biggest cat you ever see, and
the worst fighter in our ward. 1t isn't
afraid OF anything, and can whip New
Foundland dog quicker than you could
put sand in barrel Of sugar. Well,
about eleven o'clock | heard pa tumble
over the kindling wood, and knew by
| the remark he made, as the wood slid
around under him, that there was going
TO be a cat fight real quick. He come
up to MAJ room, and sounded ma as to
whether Hennery had retired 70 bis
yirtuous couch. Pa is awful sarcastc
when ne tries 10 be. could hear him
take of his clothes, and hear him say,
as be picked up trunk strap, i guess
/ viii 20 up 10 HE room and watch the
smile On his face, aS be dreams Of
angels ] yearn 70 press him 10 my
aching bosom. ] thought to myself
! meb1e you Won yearn so much direct
ly. lie come up stairs, and could bear
him breathing hard looked out
4 around the corner ond could see he lust
had on his SHIRT and pants aud his sus-
penoers were hanging down, aud bis
| bald head shone Ike calcium light
just before Il eSplodes Pa went in NV
room, aud up TO the bed, and ! could
hear him say, Come out here and
bring In that kindling wood, or I will
start a lire on your base burner with
this strap. And then there was a
| yowling such as | never heard before,
and pa said, Helen Blazos, and the fur.
nlturo IN my room began TO fall around
and break o, N.Y. think pa took
the tom cat right by the neck, the way
he does me- and that left all the cats
feet free to get in their work, By tho
way the cat squalled as though il was
being chokcd, know pa had him by tho
neck ! suppose the cot thought pa was
whole Ilock Of New Foundlaud dogs,
ana tle eat bad record on dogs, and 1t
kicked awful Pas shirt was no pro.
iecuon at all in cat fight and the cat
JUST walked all around pn's stomach
ana pa yelled police, and FIRE, and
turn on the hose, aud he called ma.
ana the cot yowlod II pa had had pres.
ehce OF mind enough to have dropped
ihe cat or rolled it mp in the mat,,nss,
u would have been all right but man
always gets ratified in limo of danger,
ana he held onto the cat aud stared
uoWh stairs yelling murder, aud he met
ma coming up. guess mas nigh,.cnp.
ur something frightened the cat some
more Cause he stabbed mn on the nirb,
smlt with one hind foot, and ma AID
mercy on us, and she went bark. and