davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-27

nfar; delicate futter Of pink hung
out in her cheek to deprecate her recre.
ancy, as she whispered in tone OF
gentle but consummate triumph: "The
Major himselfl Didn't he look grand
in his knee-breeches
And Mr.. Applehloom?"
"Maj. Hawthorne will adjust that
matter
THAT matter, indeed?' She spoke
as though it were already as remote
from her as the pyramids.
II congratulate you, Miss LYDIA /
said, growing formal, for she had be-
haved shamefully.
Don't blame me-" she murmured.
Maj. Hawthorne declares he has loved
me since l was child, but never
thought himself worthy of me, the gay
deceiver; and Mr.. Appleboom, you
know, is only the acquaintance of q
day."
wanted to ask her how she had dis
posed of her presentment, but did not
dare.
Maj. Hawthorne subscribed $50 to
the Micronesian mission, and sent Mr..
Appleboom elsewhere to look for q
wife, and the verdict of Balaam's Cor
ners was that he had done the hand
some thing.
Fore goodness" said Glory, "ef
dare weren't clar relation between
dem pigs an Providence, den don't
know nothin'."
Miss Lydia took the same pious view
of the mat Ter, and made the Major the
most dainty and dignified of wives.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-27
The Jumbo Of CricketS.

Throughout the whole Territory of
Utah the cricket is ono Of the common
objects of the country, but there are
crickets and crickets, and it is just as
we'll when in search of the best article
to "see that you get it." For q consid-
GRAFTON, therefore, / will put the specu-
lator on the track of some of the gross
est locusts that ever devoured green
stuff-locusts, moreover, that squeak
when pursued. Poets American poets,
especially are very partial to what
they are pleased to call the cricket's
merry chirp. But the poets cricket is
the insect of the domestic hearth, a
pale-eolored ghost of q thing, all voice,
and with an irregular midnight appe-
tite for the kitchen cloths that are hung
out TO dry before the stove. The
Piutes' cricket is very much otherwise.
1t is the Jumbo of crickets, and just as
black. 1t lives on the slopes of the
Utah bills, among the sage-brush, and
when alarmed tries invariably to Jump
dOwn-hill. But, being all stomach,
and therefore top-heayy, so to speak,
the Unbalanced insect invariably rolls
head over heels, and every time IL turns
somersault it squeaks dismally. To
walk down the hillside, driving whole
herd of these oorpulent crickets before
me, used to amuse me immoderately,
for the spectacle of so many fat things
simultaneously trying to Jump down
hill, simultaneously rolling head over
heels, and simultaneously squeaking,
was mirthful enough to drive the dull
est care away.-PhiI Robinson, ia
Horrors MaqaziRe.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-27
Increase of Insanity.

One of the most reconcile subjects
enlist as we'll as medical man is the in
crease of insanity.
1t has been noted in Massachusetts
that as asylums for the insane are null
tiplied more than enough inmates are
found for them From this it is there
now argued by many that insanity
grows in proportion to the increase in
the means for its treatment.
Long since, Nautilus asserted that
founding hospitals and poor-houses
only promote the evils which they are
created to subdue. Indeed, since his
day, In many countries society has
acted to considerable extent upon the
theory of Malthus.
In England and Ireland founding
hospitals are not as distinct features of
the present civilization as they form
erly were, while many distinguished
French writer's are of the opinion that
the founding hospitals of Paris are
made to pander to some of the grossest
vices of that city.
1t is puzzle at the present day how
it was that Rome was able to do with
out either poor-houses, foundling hos
pitfalls or insane asylums.
AS respects insanity, the fact that
among the ancients it was looked upon
as a species of inspiration, and thus
that the insane were under special
divine protection, may help to account
for the absence of institutions for their
proper care apart from their families
and friends.
However this may be. the fact re-
mains that the growth of insanity in
modern times is much greater proper
tionally than the growth of population.
Another important fact is that in
countries IN which life is more energetic
and active, and even in which education
receives its highest comparative de-
velopment, insanity will lie found to be
most abnormally developed.
Thus the relative frequency of con-
genital and acquired insanity in various
countries is shown in the following
table, taken from Koch's Statistics OF
Insanity" in Wurtemburg, which gives
the number Of idiots to 100 lunatics:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-27
Royal Children.

Ordinary children who envy the lot
of Princes and Processes mag console
themselves with the reflection that
these favored young mortals have a
terrible number of things to learn.
The curriculum of Princes studies
would dismay any public-school boy.
Very little time is left him for play,
and still less for that solitary loafng
about and meditation in which most
boys delight. If he disappeared for
couple OF hours to go on some frolic-
some expedition by himself. he would
arouse an alarm throughout the palace
where he resided, and possibly cause
his governor or tutor to be dismissed.
The late Prince Imperial of France,
when he was 10 years old, once
walked out of the Tuileries for ram
bic in the streets, having been seized
suddenly with an irresistible tempta-
ton TO go and join some boys whom he
had seen snow-balling. He returned
after an absence of four hours, but i'll
the meantime hundred detectives had
been securing Paris for him, and he
found his parents almost frantic with
terror. The little King of Rome, Ma
poleon Is son, once wanted to play
truant in the same way, but was
checked In time. He then declared,
with much weeping that he wanted to
go and make mud-pies with some dirty
boys who were playing on one OF the
quays of the Seine.
Napoleon III. 8 heir was also sorely
leased by a couple of most accom-
plished but too earnest tutors, Gen.
Frossard and NJ Monnier. One day
he had been sent out to see a regatta
on the Seine. well, what have you
been doing?" said his father when he
returned home. "Oh, we have been
talking of triremes, said the boy, wear
lily, "and L have heard the story of
Duilius over again" The Prince I'm
perial, however, was quite intelligent
enough to understand that in these days
the heir apparent to throne must not
be Ounce, and he was perhaps one of
the most amable pupils any court tutor
ever had.
1t is custom in the Prussian royal
family that every Prince shall be APP
prenticed to trade, in order that he
might be able to earn his living in case
of revolution. The present Crown
Prince was taught matchmaking, but
whether he could obtain the wages of a
skilled journeyman, if his fathers
crown failed him, is another question.
During the French Revolution the
Duke of Orleans, who afterward be-
came King of the French" by the
title of Louis Philippe, had for time
to earn his living as a schoolmaster in
Switzerland.
If only little occasional joelity were
allowed to relieve the tedium of these
lessons, the lot of q young Prince might
still be regarded as pleasant one; but,
by all accounts, it seems that some of
the German Princes are brought up
with military strictness that would
have commended itself to the approval
of a Spartan. The King of Bavaria
when Crown Prince was made to live
on beef and mutton, and his ration of
the latter food was never allowed to
exceed one mutton chop. 1t is related
that on the day when he became King,
his first act of royal prerogative was to
say to his equerry: Il mean to have
two chops this morning !"-Lutheran.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-27
The Son of n Pill.

It is interesting to look back of the
fnery which wealth has put on the
backs of women at the watering places
to see how the money has been OBJ
tanned. "Do you see that lady in a
white Ottoman silk?" correspold ent
was asked. 1.-THE one with the shapely
figure?" he responded. "Yes, that's
the one; but her shape always seems to
me- like certain bottle of bitters.
Why? Because her fathers fortune
came from the manufacture of q con-
stituent of cocktails. Over yonder. in
dainty null, is the wife of face
powder; going down the hallway are
the two daughters of cough syrup, and
the swell who drove past few minutes
ago in dog-cart tandem was son of
q pill"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-27
Husk Beds.

A correspondent of Household says
the way TO make husk bed is to put
the husks into plenty of water and
spread them on the grass to dry, first
spreading sheets on the grass, to keep
away the insects, ETC., if possible.
When the husks are dry, draw them
through flax hatchel, or with fork
split them several times to make them
softer. Then fill into bed-tick Don't
put in enough to be hard, but make q
good, comfortable bed. Have slit m
the center of the bed-tick, and every
day stir the husks mp. A button and
button-hole in the bed-tck will make
all secure and if you wash or scald the
husks every few years they will Keep
sweet and You will have cheap and
comfortable bed
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-27
Tux TRAIN-BoY.

Mid the rafting OF the train,
And the locomotives noise,
Like patented ear-teaser.
Comes the train-boy's voice:
And while mankind squirms and wriggles
He doth hatefully rejoice.
He will nudge YOU with his elbows,
And he'll tread upon your corn
With his big high-pressure box-toes
Till OF symmetry It's shorn;
And you wax profane, and sorrow
That you ever had been torn.
With caramels he'll polt you.
Then his cough -drors substitutes;
And he'll inunOate YOUR trousers
With his Invalided fruit,
Till he's ready 10 uncover
The treckled-r PATCHED Chero0t.
He'll parade his water-liles,
That were gathered in the spring:
Then a choice job iot of yellow
Covered literature he'll bring,
And these ancient publ cations
In your lap he'll deity fling.
Magazines he'll shower upon you,
Daily journals he will pour,
With his travel guide books printed,
Quite dozen years or more;
And the self-same iot he's vended
Heaven knows how oft before
You may sleep. CT swear, or threaten,
You may every art employ
To Withstand his prosecutions,
And their hi lternesss alloy;
But not continental
Cares the Wild, unframed train boy
Commercial 7rareters' Ad0oztne.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-27
HUMOR.
A MENTAL reck-I guess SO.

A MENTAL reck-I guess SO.
A LANp-LADY--Mothe Earth.
A SPREAD OF canvas on vessel Is for
sail or to rent.
WHEN miner strikes lode it light
ems his labor.
CRooUEr is cute game. but billiards
is the cue-test.
A PHOTOGRAPHER may be able TO
make fac-simile, but scarlet fever will
make sick family.-Carl Pretsegs
Weekly.
The question is asked us If there Is
anything that will bring youth to
woman? Yes, indeed. An income OF
800, 900 will bring any number Of them.
III GUESS that girl must be the flour
of the family remarked the young
man who had been waltzing with her,
spot on his coat sleeve.
MULoAHY says the statement that
John Roach's ship is the first iron
vessel launched in America is mis-
take, as Mrs. Mulcahy frequently
launches iron vessels at him.
NO." SAID New York belle, who
had Just returned from tour of Eu-
rope and Egypt. mo, j didn't go TO
the Red sea. Red, you know, doesn't
agree with my complexion.
| AT the wrong door: At the baths an
impatient young man walked up to- the
door of one of the compartments and,
knocking on the same, testify inquired
when in blazes are you going to get
those trousers on?' There was faint
giggle and silvery voice replied:
when get married, 1 suppose. He
had mistaken the door; that's all.
SHE wept by the chamber window
Till her eyes were swollen and red,
ct was half-p past in the morning.
he comcCh not, she said
He told me he'd come home early,
But he's gone To the club, i suppose
The brutel l wish were only a club
I'd break myself owe. his nose!"
Carl PretzePS Weekly.
The widow of q distinguished pro-
lessor was visited by rather shabby
genteel sort of a gentleman, who ex-
pres great admiration for her de-
ceased husband, and who finally said:
II revere the memory of your husband,
and would like very much to have some
relic to keep and cherish. 1.-THE
only relic can offer you" replied the
disconsolate widow, signing heavily, rs
myself If you will love and cherish
me for his sake you may" But the
relic-hunter had silently stolen away
before she could finish the sentence
IeraS SVtingS.
ON MARGIN.
Only went in on a margin,
Big profits looming in view,
With boom and SWEET of the market
A cool millionl Then he'd be through.
Only the market still rising,
And profits grow greater and swell,
And the tool Is but grasping who holds on
And outly refuses to sell.
Only pocket depleted
Detected, busted and sore,
And the bird that is plucked well now wishes
He'd got out the sad deal before
philadelphia Press.
YOUNG Mr.. Tremble, who is quite
bright, was at party one night and he
was quite we'll looked at by the girls
before he was introduced. After the
introduction he soon caught on, and
was making himself very popular. ooh,
la, Mr. Tremble," laughed Miss Mollie
at one of his witty remarks, "you re-
mind me so much of friend of mine"
Indeed, Miss" said Tremble, "in what
way?" ooh, he looked just like he
hadn't q bit of sense, but when one
knew him, he was just too awfully cute
for any use. chant ITdCeler.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-27

The cheapest and simplest gym
nasium in the world-one that will ex-
ercise every muscle and bone in the
body-is fiat piece of steel, notched
on one side, fitted tightly into wooden
frame, and, after being CREASED on both
sides with bacon rind, rubbed into a
stick of wood laid lengthwise in q saw
buck.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-27

From this table it will appear that
the tendency to congenital insanity is
greatest in those countries in which
existence is most strained and in which
at the same time education is carried
to the very highest possible plane
Chicn1O DniLJ NelrS
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-27
A Terrible Sameness.

A young student of the law was de-
votedly, although perhaps not rs intel
ligently, porting over Blackstone, and
at the close of each days labor he would
carefully insert bookmark at tho page
he had last finished. His fellow stu
dents as regularly each day removed
the marker, placing it at about the point
where he had begun. 1t was only after
the young student had completed his
fourteenth reading of the same pages
that some one ventured to inquire how
he liked Blackstone. Il can't exactly
say that liked it" replied he; there
is such terrible sameness to ii"
LOO oo.o n
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-27
A Stubborn FaCt.

A man was blowing about the solidi
tty of his flesh and the compact manner
In which he was built, his weight and
muscle, and, during breathing spell,
exclaimed, while holding up his leg:
Just look at that calf"
A gentleman, who was in the audi
ence. quietly remarked:
We do not have to look down there
to see the calf. Carl Pretzeps Weekly.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-27

For cold in the head" the snuff
ing of powdered borax is said TO be .
sure relief.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-27

LONDON contains 100000 Jews and
the finest Hebrew Library in the world.
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1883-04-04
Colorado Desert.

The plain Is not of vast extent later
ally. Black and purplish mountains are
always in sight, and spurs of them cross
the course. Bowlders and pebbles are
scattered thickly on the surface at first,
among patches of bunch-grass; then the
Jaws Of the black and purple mountains
open, near Seven Palms. and show the
genuine white sand desert, strewn with
bowlders still, but bare of vegetation,
and varied with dunes and large hills of
clean sand. One expects a glimpse of
blue water between the dunes at every
moment, as if riding to Coney Island or
Long Branch. We traverse a singu-
lar depression, which is below
the level of the sea for q
hundred miles, at its lowest point nearly
three hundred feet. At Dos Pslmas, in
the very bottom of the pit, board
shanty saloon, covered with inscriptions
in an amateurish lettering, stands alone
at a little distance from the track. Surely
the keeper of it must consume his own
drinks, and lead melancholy existence
unprecedented among bar-keepers- No;
a horseman in Mexican accoutrements
dashes across the plain-though where
he should dash from, and how he should
be riding anything but the mummy of a
dolphin or q sea-horse here In the very
bottom of the sea itself, is q mystery
and pulls up there, and enters. And it
further appears that from this place q
stage starts every other day for points on
the Colorado River, and for Prescott, the
remote capital of Arizona Territory.
This is but faint survival of a hustle
which once reigned before the day of the
railroad, when the route of the southern
overland mail was hither, and long trains
of immigrant and freight wagons, carry
ing water in casks for two or three days
supply, passed continually over these
wastes east and west.
Nothing would appear more depressing
on general principles than such coun-
try, but rs a matter of fact it is enter
taining instead. 1t is stimulus to the
curiosity, and ends by having a real fas
cination. One would not wish to be
abandoned alone in it without resources,
it is true, but he does not tire of looking
Mt it from q car window. Its blazing
dryress is in ITS favor. 1t is disinfectant
and preservative. Perhaps there can
never be the most poignant extreme of
sadness in scenes without the element of
decay by dampness. II is chemical and
not botanical processes that are prin-
cipally going on Wonders of almost any
sort may be expected. Phantoms might
fit about over it, hiding among the
frequent mirages
A considerable part of Arizona as well
is of the same character, but it is esti-
mated by Competent authority that with
irrigation thirty-seyen per cent can be
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1883-04-04
The Physician and the Druggist.

About year ago Martin Mcintyre, a
Fonda druggist, put up prescription for
John Cook, written by DIR. Parson, of
Fultonville. The medicine nearly killed
Cook. The physician claimed the pre-
scription had been altered, and commenced
an action against the druggist for
damages. The prescription called for one
dram of podophyllin. DR.. Parson claimed
he had written it one grain, and that il
had been altered by the druggist to
cover up his mistake. The case was
tried last week. On the trial Mcintyre
swore the prescription had not been
altered, and DR.. Parson swore it had.
Two experts testified that no alteration
had been made. Another question in
the case was whether or not the druggis
was justifable in putting up prescrip-
ton in which he noticed dangerous
excess of any ingredient Judge Landen
ruled that If the prescription Of q regular
practicing physician Is put up as written
the druggist 10 not responsible. The Jury
decided that the prescription had not
been altered, and that therefore, there
was no cause for action.-Uticd IN -
Herald.
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1883-04-04
HOME Avn PARM.


To cultivate Inc soil with
requires both thought and study.
1T is easier to grow rhubarb from
the seed than TO get old roots. as these
seldom give satisfactorily. Y. Herald.
2 "A pla ster of soft lye-soap and corn
meal if applied in time will cure felon.
Renew the plaster every morning and
evening until all soreness has disap-
peared.-Riuol Ne,o Yorker.
The farmers of Indiana are making
rapid progress in draining and reclaim
ing their wet lands. The annual report
Of the Statistical Bureau shows that there
are in the State 1924, ,297 rods of tile
orainage.-Chicdgo Journal.
"A dark colored soil, neither too
sandy nor too olayey, OVERLAPPING a SUBJ
soil of sandy loan, makes the best
ground for vegetables. A clay subsoil
always natures its crop later than q
sandy or gravely one. Land that is at
all stiff or clayey can never be got in
good condition if plowed or narrowed
while wet.-Erchanoe.
"A sore neck is often caused by an
ill-fitting collar or by the weight of an i'll
made wagon-tongue. The sore must be
healed as the first part of the remedy,
and the collar should be provided with
cushions on the sides near the top
to relieve the pressure. The parts
should be dressed with solution of sui
phste of copper and protected by soft
pad.-N. Y. Times.
The Indiana Farmer says one of its
subscribers kept record of the time
employed in cultivating fourteen acres
of corn last season in the old-fashioned
way, and finds he gave about two days
to the acre. The yield was 800 bushels,
over fifty-seven bushels 10 the acre. He
estimates the value of his crop at 1920,
and the labor expended on it at Sl2O,
and deducting expenses he claims a
profit of S1+ per acre.
To aid farmers to arrive at accuracy
in estimating che amount of land in diff
ferent fields under cultivation, the fol-
lowing table is given: Five yards wide
by 968 long contains 1 acre; 10 yards
wide by 4S4 long contains 1 acre: &c
yards wide by 245 long contains acre !;
40 yards wide by 121 long contains /
acre; 40 yards wide by 60 1-2 lonk m
tains l acre; 80 yards wide by 81 Ii
long contains acre; 60 feet wide BY
126 long contains / acre; ITO feet wide
by 397 long contains l acre; 130 feet
wide by 36S long contains 1 acre: 22C
feet wide by 1S1 1-2 long contains l
acre; 40 feet wide by SO long contains
acre. Chicago Journal.
DIR. Danford Thomas, in his capacity
rs Coroner, has directed public atten-
,ion to the mortality which follows the
neglect of measles. L. is a common
opinion that child must have the
rnea les, and that when it gets the
disease it requires no treatment and but
little care This is mistake. In the
records of vital statistics it may be seen
that it often proves more fetal than any
other zy motto di>ea>e, more even than
-carlatina. With medical and parental
care the disease generally does well, but
without this it is liable to serious conn.,
plications and apt to leave disagreeabie
consequences. Lancet.
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1883-04-04
AN EASTER SONG.

We looked for sunny skies that Easter morn,
And loi there fell wintry storm instead,
Checking the new life with a chill Of dread
Around the swelling buds the rain-drops froze;
From windswept woods sound OF wafling
rose;
And so q shadow on our giadness lay
That earth should be 90 drear on Easter Day.
Then mid the fearful drip of icy caves,
And sad wind signing round the budding
There came little btrd-sons to our ear,
PiAtntive, yet sweet; yes, wondrous sweet and
clear.
And perched the giittering icy boughs among,
One little bird was pouring out his song,
An Easter carol fun Of faith and cheer,
Under the leaden sky 80 sad and drear.
He. too, had thought to hnd the spring-time
When from the far-of south he winged his
He. TOO, had felt the disappointing chin.
Yet IN his music stayed the sweetness still.
Dear little songster, braver thou than wei
30 easy tbs to sing when skies are fair,
And the spring giadness waketh In the sir,
But still to keep sweet music in the heart
When vtntry storms bid brightest hopes de-
When skies are dark and spring-time waiteth
long,
This is the true, the perfect Easter song.
-ChristSdn Onion.