Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-08-16
How it Looked to the Souatter,

The other day an old squatter came
to the city and attended divine services
at fashionable church. He sat uneas-
lily on 8 cushion, and when the organ
began to rumble his hair began to stand
up. Turning to man who sat near he
asked:
"What sorter artickle do yer call
that?''
That's the fatted calf bawling." the
man replied
Thought that they'd killed him ter
feed the projikin' son on
Eyes. they killed one but have raised
another"
The deep tones of the organ roared
like storm behind the scenes, and the
old squatter, with a wink of his dry
looking eye, said:
Must be paving the groun' now.
He's mad as hornet. Sorter lettin'
up-now he's down on it agin. Now
they're twistin' his tail. lingo! how he
filings up his head in the ar. Now
they IRE givin' him rope. Let him swing
hold himr'
The choir burst forth in melodious
air, and the old fellow sat for moment
in seeming admiration, then turning
again to his newly-formed acquaint ance,
he said: pretty good singin', blu, sor-
ter slow. They don't seem ter git right
down to the work. Now look at that
bald-headed Teller. He's dodgin' pints
right along, and that other Teller with
them whiskers like goat KANT keep
up with the outfit, while that gal thar is
leavin' all o. them. Wouldn't ketch
anybody leavin' Nick Muggles, Teller
that sings at our church. Why, put
him up thar with that turnout and he'd
60 on and transack his business an get
through an be ready for all sorts o. fun
tore that bald Teller and his crowd got
on the road. Nick's what 1 call
singer, an er fiddler; he can knock the
everlastin' spots often it. Why, he can
make fiddle call hogs, an talk like
17-year old boy; an er banjo, huh. He
can make it cluck so plain that the hor-
ses in the neighborhoOd start off Wish
he was here to-day. Look how that
bald-headed feller's slackin' up, will
yer? Ell l was him I'd quit Now he's
sorter peartenin' up. Look at the gal
er climbin', will you; an jung, see the
goat-whiskered Teller pitch after her.
Hanged if he amt making it lively fer
her. He'd er catch her Their if she had
enter lodged. Dinged if he amt got
her now. Now he's got by her. There
he goes like skeereds rabbit. The
gals droppin' back now, an is goin'
along with the bald-headed Teller.
Hello, look at that fat man putin along.
Look at him climb, will yer? The gals
gittin' uneasy agin. Look at her prance,
will yerP There she goes after the goat
whiskered Teller. There they all 90,
bookety, bookety. Now they're all to-
gether. See 'em walk along. Helloa,
they've stopped"
The old fellow listened with wrapt at
tention to the sermon, occasionally nod
ding in approval or shaking his head in
uncertainty. When man with the con-
tribution box approached, the squatter
asked:
whats upP''
I'VE are taking up a collection for
the heather, and as you seemed to be so
much interested in the sermon, didn't
know but you would like to give few
Dimes
Whats the matter with the
heathenp''
why, he doesn't know anything
about the gospel, and we want to raise
money enough to send it to him."
'.Wall, l tell yer. don't think he'll
Spite afore mornin'. I've got boss
swap on ham, an eff can get huff
boot, come aroun' an Wen sorter look
inter the Natter
"But, my friend, the heather children
need clothes?''
$50 does mine, by lingo. Bill amt
nuthin' but shirt for six months, an
haster to stay outen perlite 'sciety; Ike's
got vacancy in his breaches biggern
your hat, an Jack haster to stay under
the house when a stranger comes, ease
he got his clothes scorched durin' hog
KILN. Come aroun' arter the swap,
fur don't think the heathens will Spite
fore mornin' Arkansas TraUeIer.