Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-08-01
ANALYzED Blythe CONDUCTOR.
How Men of Various Nationalities Get
On and OF a HOrse-car.


NeaC York Sun.
A narrow-lOoking conductor with a
large, sharp nose and an expression of
feeble good nature, leaned against the
door frame OF Third-avenue car yester-
day and whistled gently as the passengers
hurled anathemas on his hairless head
Men tramped on his toes, women scowled
at his hardness, and children wiped their
feet upon his solitary suit of clothes.
Presently German woman Of great
breadth struggled out other seat near the
front platform and began to lunge violent
ly toward the conductor, who had rung
the bell when he saw her rise. Just as
the vast woman arrived at distance Of
three feet from the conductor, the driver
who was looking into the car-touched
his horses with the whip and they jumped
briskly forward. The result was that the
German woman floundered heavily upon
the conductor, pinioning him against the
car, and surrounding him as jelly-fish
would arazor-edge clam. Then she reeled
over backward into the lap of hollow
eyed dude. After this she conversed with
Providence in robust voice, and started
to Chamber to the ground. In alighting
she turned her back to the horses, and the
driYer-who, it may be observed, was
1rlsh-started up the team. The result was
disastrous. The woman sat down in the
road with an earnestness of purpose and
an intensity of force that made the hearts
OF the beholders throb. The ear rolled on.
The conductor looked back at the sad
dened woman and said cOnciselv:
THAT'S the German mode of leavin' a
carr
Rather an impetuous style, isn't it ~
"Well, somewhat, but it's natural to
that nation. A man that perches on the
tail end OF street car gradually learns
how Ont n nt of 10
a botch of it as rule. The only man that
knows how to mount a car in the proper
style is SimOnpure American citizen.
he stands close to the track, and as the
car comes along swings ON as gracefully
as mush.
GA German, on the other hand, never
can do it right. In the first place he
nearly busts blood vessel in attracting
the drivers attention. He waves his cane
and bowls like bull until the car comes
up to him. Then he realizes he must get
on board, and lunges wildly at the rear
platform. If he gets his feet on the plat
form before he gets a grip, he's goner.
Even If he takes a hold in the right way
he is sure to get his feet all tangled up,
and it takes all hands to land him safely.
When he catches his breath the first
thing he does is to backyard the con-
duct0r, who, of course, had nothing to do
with stopping the car. When he gets off
he jumps nervously, and in nine cases
out OF ten reels like a wild man before he
catches his balance.
''To Frenchman a street car is an
awful engine of destruction. He is over
aWed, nervous and polite. He halls the
car gracefully, and then, with his hat
hXed firmly on his head, waits nervOusly
for it to come along. AS the car arrives
he catches the iron firmly with both hands,
runs along the street with the car for a
hundred steps, and then hops nimblv
aboard. Then he is flushed with victory,
and invariably smiles at the conductor.
he keeps on smiling until it is time to get
off. when he becomes fidgety again. He
doesn't swing off like an American, or
stumble like a German, but he gives a
square jump and lands with both feet to-
gether about three feet from the track.
Boarding and leaving a car is a momen-
tous undertaking with a Frenchman.
IAN Englishman is terror every time.
lie halls a car, and he stands stock still
until the car comes to dead stop. Same
way when he leaves. There is no wild
jumping with him. He never smiles at
the conductor. He's business all the way
through.
"Chinamen are deferential and over
awed. They take short steps and jump
ON the car like cats. If they can get q
grip anywhere they're safe. They always
take seat in the car if there is one
vacant, and never ask questions. They
jump off of car in all sorts of ways, but
they are very sure on their feet. never
saw one fall in my life.'