Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-20
DROPS.

In some parts of Kentucky water is used fol
drinking purposes.
Indications ara that the street car of the flu
ture will not be - sardiue box.
A peasant In Finl md has tasted for thirty
days and nights. He ought to start a Demo
cratic paper in Iowa
"Sambo, what am de difference tween q
pase.ball player aud you'self!" Glib um up
Moses" Case one catches a foul on the fly
when it's light nm do uddsr steals 'em off de
roost at night"
A Virginia farmer plowed up an excellent
ly carved idol, and was quite proud of it until
he found that some of his neighbors had been
blowing up old army canteens hif full OF
whisky. Then he committed suicide.
Now is the time when the young man who is
physically unable tn carry 20 pounds vt coal
hod upstairs for his mother will go down tO
tho corner grocery and boost up 1886 pounds
Of dumb-bells for the beer. burlington Free
Press.
Among the reasons urged bv n Peoria We.
man for u divorce are: Drunkenness, swear
ing. obtcenity, arson, filthy habits, incompati-
bility, intitelity, brutality. cruelty, l~aziuess,
biRainy and non-support. That woman /, real
ly over nice. Hartford Post.
The coat of-arms Of Dakota bears the motto
Fear God and take your own part" TIL.
progressive citizen If Dakota does not nee,
any special Invitation To t IKE his own part
aud whatever else there may be within reach,
rom IA scrap of cheese ON the free.lunch plate
to u township of wild land.
A Brooklyn burglar, overcome by his ardu
Gus labors in packing up u lot of spoils, fell
asleep in this h ,lway Of the house he h ii been
p~iilaging Hn snored SO loudly that he awak'
sned the master, aud WAS subsequently arrest
ell. Burglars shoi nd cure themselves OF snor.
Ing II they want to become wealthy.
A well known citizen, while ut supper last
night, had u marrow escape from
breaking all his teeth. lie was Just on tn,
p ,int of tasting tn, bee'steak when the cook
rushed la, and in great terror explained III !,
the butcher mad made u miS.steak, aud tn.
meat left Sith them was Intended for II board.
ing h use over the way.
The Louisville Commercial speaks unkindly
of Chicago: THE ordinary traveller can nov
~ fr nm Louisville to Chicago for 81. But Won
cannot get out of Chicago for less than $50
One Ire 9TH of Chicago river ,ir is always good
for u $50 doctors bill, aud they charge you tn,
odd so for looking ut the barkeepers dia
mond pin when your are getting u ten-cen,
drink.
Wa have received a life Insurance circular
which Informs us that by pay ing six d,llars
year for live weeks We Il get back $50 OOO il
siA months or rather ny paying ave dollars
week for six Thousand years we'll get bacl
twenty dollars in-th It is by paying six thous
aud dollars u year for live weeks, wen "
back o. We've got this thug sort of mixed
We must consult the circular again. morris
town Herald.
To free n house of rats, catch one of the TO
dents, smear hun we'll With tar, then roll hi
we'll IN u basket Of loose feathers, tic "A be-
around his neck, streak him with u %luninou
paint, put a toy trumpet in his mouth. tie
tin can to his t al aui lot him go. N. b.
this don't work, nothing eau DO done unless yo
eau COAX the rats iuto the parlor and max
them listen VII no evening to an amateur
theatrical performance.
a poker sharp Gays; "If you should happe
TO run across Dick Proctor, tell him to bet
pair of aces very high before the draw. A.!
pair of ace is much the best average hand
You can bit with absolute certainty that il
the best average baud in ~ a Ave. six, or sever
handed game. 1t st tnds tn reason, then, thu
il is sense to bet the best hand when yo
have 1t. i can make u machine that can pls
poker and beat the best average player. Thei
Is nothing in the game"