The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1883-07-21
ALL ABOUT KISSING.
From Chambers Journal.


custom, from time immemorial and all
the world over; and there are not at
present any indications of its becoming
in future less popular than it has been in
the past. A kiss is not thing that you
can successfully describe. A poetic lover
who undertook the description would
probably never get beyond some stupidity
inflated generalities.
Josh Billings truthfully observes that
the more a man tries to analyze kiss
the more he can't; and he believes that
the only real way te define kiss is to
take one. Kisses, of course, vary con-
siderably. There is the formal kiss of
greeting, the fraternal kiss of affection,
the kiss of policy, which it is not always
easy to give with good grace; the kiss
under the mistletoe, which is only OBJ
tanned after (of course) a tremendous
amount of struggling and merriment;
the lovers kiss, which breathes of rap
ture, and the staid, dutiful salutation of
conjugal attachment. Such classified
ton as this only suggests an indefinite
variety of experience.
A curious case of oscillation is reported
from across the Atlantic. Some time
ago Dir. Finch, who was in the jewelry
business in Newbern, United States, sold
to a young lady named Miss Waters what
was described as a beautiful set of real
jet, the bargain being that he was to re-
ceive in payment thereof one hundred
kisses, to be paid at the rate of one kiss
daily. Mr.. Finch was to call at the
lady's house every morning, Sundays ex-
cepted, to receive his daily kiss, which
Miss Waters undertook and promised to
duly deliver to him. For thirty consec-
utive days, Sundays excepted, Mr.. Finch
punctually called upon Miss Waters, and
duly received the stipulated salutation.
On the twenty first day, however, Mr..
Finch made formal complaint that Miss
Waters was not fulfilling her contract,
inasmuch as she insisted upon permitting
him to kiss her cheek only. He MAIN
tanned that this did not constitute
legal kiss, and demanded that he should
be allowed to put his left arm round her
waist and kiss her in the highest style of
the art. To this, however, firm re-
fusal was returned. The lady offered
Mr.. Finch a choice of cheeks, but in
cicfaI hot ha Of
the construction he put upon it. There
upon, Mr.. Finch, in great indignation'
brought an action for breach of contract
against the lady. This action raised sew
eral new and very interesting questions,
among the most important of which was
what constituted, in the eye of the law,
kiss. The plaintiff set up the further
plea that there was difference between
active and passive kisses; that Miss
Waters had promised to give him GER
tain number of kisses-not merely to al
low him to take them-and that giving
kisses was an act which required the use
of the lips. The case was the subject of
considerable controversy in the press and
elsewhere; but the writer, unfortunately,
has never been able to discover the result
of the legal proceedings which were in
stituted, and has concluded that COM
promise of some sort must, as was at one
time expected, have been brought about.
An equally remarkable kissing trans
action occurred not long ago in Australia.
In this instance, kiss was actually put
up for sale by auction, and publicly be-
slowed upon the highest bidder. The
occasion was charity fete got up in the
little town of Torantal on behalf of the
poor at Agram. The we'll meant en-
deavors of the benevolent ladies and gen.
tlemen who acted as statesmen and stall
holders to induce visitors to purchase
trifies exposed for sale at twenty times
their value had not succeeded. Business
was not brisk. The public who filled
the sale were not in generous mood,
and the organizers of the fete were dis
hesrtened. At this juncture one of the
lady patronesses, remarkably beautiful
woman, had what she thought happy
inspiration. She took her husband
aside, conferred with him for few min
utes, and shortly after, with his consent,
offered kiss to the highest bidder, the
sum paid for the favor to be added to
the receipts of the fete. The result of
this novel idea hardly came up to what
was anticipated. Very low sums were at
first offered by the young mentor, of
course, the feminine portion of the visi-
| tors were not tempted by the opportuni-
ty-and ultimately the kiss was knocked
down at the relatively paltry figure of
Is forms and II kreutzers. The husband
of the lady, seeing the slight store set by
the favor, offered to pay the amount him
self and take the kiss; but the claimant
had already handed over the money, and
as he refused to agree to the bargain
being Cancelled, the kiss was exchanged
before the assembled company.
A young lady reading in newspaper
the other day of girl having been made
crazy by sudden kiss, called the atten-
ton of her uncle, who was in the room,
to tn 1t rather singular occurrence, where
upon the old gentleman gruffly demanded
what the fool had gone crazy for
"What did she go crazy for ?" archly re.
turned the ingenious maiden; "why, for
more, suppose
| 1t must be rather awkward and un.
pleasant to be observed by prying eyes
when one INDUCES in little innocent
OSCILLATION. We have all laughed over
Dickens account of how the fat boy Joe
caught Dir. Tupman in the act of kissing
the spinster amt in the arbor at Dingle,