davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-01-20
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

SO long as the school teacher keeps
the pupils in his eye nobody can deny
that ne has perfect right to lash his
pupils. - Boston Transcript.
-" Ma" he asked at dinner, "who
was Charlotte Rnssep' "O,' said ma,
"she was one of them old Queens what
made trouble during the Restoration. +"
Another Largest telescope in the
world has just been erected. 1t brings
the moon SO close that the man can be
distinctly heard yelling, Don't shoot
Philadelphia Ne,os.
Mrs. Regularity has become so ac-
customed to retire punctually at ten
o'clock, that all you have to do is to set
the clock couple hours ahead to put her
fast asleep at eight p. m.
They are going to reduce the tariff,
take the tax Off matches and bring false
hair down so low that it will be cheap
enough to put in mince pies as well as
hash--Phitadelphia Chronicle.
The remark of the pious Eneas, the
classic exclamation, "Horresco referens''
-" shudder to relate'-is supposed to
be the prototype Of the modern express
sions. should blush to murmur," II
should litter to CALCULATE etc. -LoweU
Citizen.
THAT butter is all right" said a
boarding house keeper; sit is firkin but
ter and tastes little of the wood, that's
ALL" IF that's the case" replied the
boarder, who is a contractor, II should
like to get some OF that wood to make
railroad bridges out of."-Phtlodelpht0
NeUs.
Eli Perkins and Sojourner Truth
met the other day for the first time. Eli
was quite overcome and remarked: "Is
it possible that you have lived to be 100
years old and novor mot mo befnrop
Where could have beenr" Wander
ing in paths where truth is never found,
reckon!'' pointedly returned the GEN.
tenarian. - Yonkers Gazstte.
The London Times prints the follow
ing palpably imaginary story of "a GER
tain Irish M. p, who had been describ.
ing his travels in the Far West and the
"virgin forests there: "What is a vir-
gin forestp' asked an auditor. .'Phwat
IS vairgin forest is it We whant to
know? A vairgin forest, sorr, is one
phwere the hand O. man has never set
fut, bedadr'
Prof. Zweibeer is rather dissipated
old man who gives lessons on the flute
for living. Gilhooley, who feels
kindly interest in him, said to him:
Professor, if you were to keep sober,
you would be engaged in some of the
first ia Miles, and make money" dot
is all humbug," said the old man, in
dignantly. II give lessons SO ! can get
drunk, and now you want me to keep
sober SO can give lessons. Dot ish all
humbug."
"A countryman, while passing the
Eirginian office recently, with about
four feet of stove-pipe il his hands, was
notified by policeman that he Vas
violating the city ordinance by carrying
anything longer than three feet on the
sidewalk, and that he must take the
street. The owner of the EXCEPTIONALLY
lengthy pipe very quietly unjointed it,
and, placing both pieces under his arm.
pursued his way on the sidewalk to tho
intense disgust of the guardian OF the
peace and the amusement of the by.
islanders -Lgachbwg Firgfafaa.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-01-20
He Took Coffee.

Coffee. coffee! Did you ask if
would have cofee9" replied guest at a
Cleveland hotel the other day.
Eyes, SIR" whispered the waiter.
"Have you coffee mixed with chicoryp"
"We have
"And beans and peasT
Eyes. SIR
us your coffee black as night and
thick as mud?''
at is. SIR
"Lukewarm and fiat as dishwaterp"
That's it sir.''
Warranted to give c man Bright's
disease and enlarged liver inside Of four
weeksr'
1--WE positively guarantee it, sir"
Then for Heavens sake bring me
three or four cups Of it, for it's whole
year since I've had chance to get hold
of any genuine hotel coffee. "-Clevela,d
Herald
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-01-20
MORGANTOWN WEST VIRGINIA. SATURDAY. JANUARY .
STnPATHY

A knight and lady once met IN grove,
W nile each was in quest of fugitive love.
A river ran mournfuily murmuring by.
And they wept in its waters for sympathy.
20 never was knight such a sorrow that bore %
20 never was maid so deserted beforeI''
From life and its woes let us instantly hy,
Anc Jump in together for company
They searched for an eddy that suited the
deed;
But here was a bramble aud there was weed
How tiresome IL is. said the fair, with sigh
80 they sat down to rest in company
They gazed at each other-the maid and the
knight:
How fair was her form, and how eooaiy his
hight
'One mournful embrace" soobed the youth,
ere we diei'
So, kissing and crying, they kept company.
20 had but loved such an angel as your
20 had but my swain been quarter rs true! p
10 miss such perfection how blinded was p
Sure now they were excellent company
At length spoke the lass, 'twixt smile and
tear:
THE weather Is cold for a watery bier;
When the summer returns we may easily die:
Till then let us sorrow in company"
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-01-20
A Family Of Giants.

The great attraction in the ladies'
waiting room at the Union depot last
evening was three giant brothers. each
over seven feet in height, with three
small wives. An investigation estab-
iished the fact that the men had been
East perfecting arrangements to place
themselves on exhibition during the
coming spring; that they were returning
from their trip highly elated over their
success and that they resided in Hunt
County, Texas, where they owned farms,
which, up to the present winter they had
cultivated in obscurity. The most re-
markable circumstance connected with
their history is that they had four other
brothers residing on farms in Hunt
County, who were also each over seven
feet in height. This family of giants,
the sons of William Shields, who emil
grated to Texas from Georgia twenty
six years ago, are probably the most re-
mark BILE family, physically speaking. in
the United States, although they lived
comparatively unknown to the world
outside of Hunt County, Texas, until
discovered during the present year by
travelling manager. Two OF the number
James and Jack Shields, are exactly
seven feet and eleven inches in height,
their weights being respectively 306 and
and 876 pounds. They are twins and
are one inch taller than Gus Shields, one
OF their brothers. One of the seven
brothers is only eighteen years Of age,
yet he measures from the soles Of his
feet to the crown Of his head seven feel
and four inches. This young man is
E. l.
inch of sbeing seven feet tall, but their
mother was woman of average size.
The combined weights of four of the
brothers is l.oi9 pounds. 81. Louis Re-
pitbRcsr.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-01-20

Highest Hopors at the U. S Centennial World .
Exhibition 1s76,at Philadelphia, and The Exposition
Universalle de 1878, al Paris France ,nd the New
England State Agricultural Society, 1865
The Centennial Judges pronounced them unani-
mously the best instrument, for the price made,
with the novelty of a Chime Of Bells, with pleas
ing effects. =
AT Paris the Judges granted us medals and
awards I the finest Upright Piano-fortes aud
Organs with rich, pure tone, with the greatest
power combined, against the world.
The New England Fair, with its large committee,
gave us a gold med,, with the inscription: THE
Best Instrument for Tone, Design and Workman
ship" We also took the first premium in many
State and County Fairs.
Our instruments contain more valuable improve
ments will stand longer and endure in drv
81 damp climates than any other produ ed.
Every orgao has our new device for closi the
pedals, keeping out dust, mice, etc.
illustrated catalogue mailed postpaid,
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-01-20

Josh Billings says: Whenever find
q real handsome woman engaged in ahe
wimmin's right dizziness, then | am
goin' to take mi hat under mi arm and
iine the procession"
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-01-20
AN Amateur perlormance of ..(

--An Amateur performance OF ga
MILE" by a colored dramatic club in
Maryland, was broken up at the scene
where Armand hurls the money at Ca
mile, real money being used and every
menberof the company making grand
plunge to grab the coin IS it scattered on
the floor.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-01-20

America beats the world GU drWas,
- Neg Orleans Pscaypqe.
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16
APPLICATION FOR PATENT
Notice No f01,
UNITED STATES LAND OFFICE.

UNITED STATES LAND OFFICE.
Boise City, Idaho, January IS, 1882.
Notice is hereby given that the Conway Cas-
tie Mining Co., organiza ton Incorporated
under the laws of tee State of New York, by its
attorney in fact ]. D. Marsh, whose dostoffice
address is Gaiens, Alttras county, Idaho Ty,
has this day filed its Application for a Iatent
for 1893 feet of the CONWAY CASTLE Mine or
vern bearing gold, silver and other minerals,
with srufaoe ground GU feet in width, situated
in Wood River Mining District county of Al
turas and Territory of Idaho, and designated
by the field notes and official plat on file in this
Office Lot No SO, and described in said field
notes and plat with magnetic variation at 10 de-
grees east as follows:
Commencing at the discovery point and rum
ming thence S IS deg ~ min 9J5 1t to centre of
east end line of claim. thence deg IS min +
800 it TO post No /, : deg 45 min W 600 It TO
post No q thence SO deg AZ min w s03 it to
post No 81 thence s Ts deg As min w 400 # TO
post No 4; thence deg IS min $40 ft to post
No 8; thence 7S deg As min Z 400 it to post No
81 thence 5 IS deg As min Il, 903 it to post No L
the place q hegnnlng survey el exterior bound
From post Ro U IL n No i bears S
/ Is deg 40 min. W. 1866 It distant.
The nearest known locations are
| tile Senate, President and Dalta.
ANY and all persons claiming adversely any
| portion pf said Conway Castle mine surface
| ground required 70 file their adverse CLAIMS
/ with the Register OF the United States Land
| 0ffiee at Boise City In the Territory OF Idaho,
| during the sixty days period Of publication
| hereof, or they will be barred by virtue of the
| provisions of the Statute.
| It is hereby ordered that the foregoing notice
of application for patent be published for the
period of 81 days ten consecutive weeksl in the
| kETCduM KEYSTONE weekly newspaper pub
| lished st Ketehum, AIturas county Idaho, the
newspaper published nearest said claim
D, P. B. Pride,
Register.
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16
APPLICATION FOR PATENT,
Notice No. 100
phTFD STATES LAND OFFICE,
Boise City, Idaho, January rs. 1888. /

Boise City, Idaho. January rs 1888.
Notice Ia hereby given that the Conway
Castle Mining Co., an organization incorporated
under the laws OF the state of New York, by its
attorney In fact ]. d Marsh, whoee postoffice
address is Gsiena, Alturas County Idaho Ty.
has this day flied its application for patent
for f340 linear feet of the PRESIDENT Mine or
vein bearing geld, silver and other minerals
With surface ground 900 feet in width. sitnar ed
N Wool River Mining District, County of Al
turas and Territory of Idaho, and designated
by the field notes and official plat file in this
onace As Lot No 80, and described in said field
notes and plat with magnetic variation at 10
degrees east as follows:
Commencing at the discovery point and rum
ming thence 40 deg is min 900 1T to centre
of norEheasrerly end line of claim; thence s 43
deg 45 min 300 fit to post No 1. thence IS
deg As min w 600 # to post No q; thence 8 4s
deg is min w 800 It 70 post No 3; thence 20
deg w 49, 1T to post No 4; thenc s 43 deg As min
4zs tt to post No s; thence s9 deg Is min E
500 it to post No the place of beginning bound
aries Of claim, containing area of II. Is acres
claimed. From post No U. s. NJ. III, No bears
N 80 deg 90 min w 40 feet distant. The nearest
known locations are the Senate, Conway Castle
and tne Delta
ANY and all persons claiming adversely any
porMon of said President Mine surfrce ground
are required TO file their adverse claims with
the register Of the United States Land Office at
Boise city Idaho during the sixty days period OF
publication hereof, or they will be barred by
virtue of the provisions of the statute.
/ direct that this notice be published in the
KRrcHUM KEYSTONE, the newspaper published
nearest the said mining claim, for the period OF
sixty days, d. P. b. PRIDE,
Register
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16
KEToHUh AITURAs COUNTY IDAHo FRIDAY MARCH le lsss
Wonderful New Tele2raphy.

The New York Sun describes the
trial OF the new postal telegraph
company's wires to Cleveland yes
terday as successful in sending 1000
words in a minute. A dispatch of
that lengt is cut up into seven parts
or takes as copy il given QUITO prin-
ters; these are transferred by seven
operators to cylinders, which set ST.
simultaneously in motion transmit the
message over one wire, The com
pany claims that it can send eight
and receive eight dispatches at the
same time over the same wire. The
two wires in use between here and
Cleveland arc steel, heavily inspla-
ted in copper, The poles are thirty
feet high, ofunnsal size and strength,
and forty Of them to the mile. 1t is
claimed that the wires are Of such
superior conduotivity that the cleo
tric current on them will not be dis
turbed by storms and atmospheric
changes, They claim that these inn
provements hiring Chicago tele-
graphically as near New York as
Philadelphia, and San Francisco as
near as Cleveland, compared with
the best wire now in use. The cap
ital stock Of the company is s2l. .OOO,-
900 in sl00.
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16
Branching Out,

The Mormons are persevering in
their scheme to acquire political as
tendency in Arizona, rs they have
already in Idaho. Five hundred
families in Utah have just received
orders to march to the Arizona set
Elements. This moving to Arizona
has been progressing for years.
Utah is merely the Mormon oven,
into which raw European converts
are placed to be cooked into oep-
uine Saints. As the oven becomes
filled up the cooked Saints are
pushed out along the Rocky Mount
aims, north and south, and the va
cant room in Utap is utilized for the
cooking of more saints. The gen
eral Government is perfectly awal e
ofthe purpose nfthe Mormon Church
to acquire political supremacy
throughout the Rocky Mountain re-
gion, and yet does really nothing,
but stupidly permits tho heritage of
free people to be gradually con
verted into an independent despot-
ism, With incest and Polygamy for
TIE corner stones, Our Congress-
men find 1t more profitable to work
for the loby than the public, and
many of item are no doubt splend-
idly paid for keeping mum on the
Mormon question. If the Morlnons
can buy Jere Black, why cant they
buy what Congressman they require,
IS. E. Post.
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

The Commissioner of Pensions
has issued circular to one armed,
one legged. one handed and one foot
ed soldiers in regard to the new
pension law, increasing the compen-
sation of the former from s24 to $50
per month, and from the latter from
S18 to "a.
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

Red Cloud. the Indian chief, has
been IN Washington for several
weeks back, and from q speech he
is alleged to have made before con
sress the other day, one ran easily
see that he has caught onto the usu-
al tune of hangers-on about the cap
itol. He wants money, and nothing
else will satisfy him, Red Cloud is
a vely intelligent Indian.
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

It is said that q chemist has dis
covered a process forsolidifying kerr
osene. and that it still retains its il
Illuminating powers. The question
now is does 1t retain its explosive
qualities, and will the hired girl de-
part for the beautiful beyond as soon
as she touches q match to the solid
fled stuff?
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

A Utah man went home late at
night, fell over a washtub and re-
ceived injuries from which he died.
And that occurred, too, ina territory
where one would think there were
wives enough to take care OF the
wsshtubs, and not have poor, weak
men from falling over them.
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

Since Edwin Booth made such a
remarkable success on the German
stage, many lesser lights Of the pro-
fession feel like kicking themselves
for not thinking far enough to make
a tour through Germany, before the
people of that country got onto how
good some American actors can act.
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

The law abohshing Internal Reve-
nue. taxation on National Bank de-
posts, checks, watches, periumery,
medicated preparations etc, goes
into effect July 1st. That reducing
taxation on all manufactured tobae-
co May 1st.
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

1t now comes to light that Queen
Victoria, not content with an in
come of several millions, is invest
ing in New York real estate and is
running lot ofseeond class tene-
ment houses in Gotham, on which
her agent recently raised bis rent.
The chances are she sent Tug Will
son out here to work on commission
Carson Appeal
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

The Mormans, pleased at tue de-
Tense of their church and institutions
by Jere Black in Washington, are
having his argument printed, for
distribution all over the Territory.
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

A great silver ore discovery has
been made twenty miles south of
Tuscon, Arizona, A large exapnse
is included, and at least halt a mil
hons worth of the precious metal is
in sight.
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

A remarkable thief has been
caught in Chicago, He is young,
handsome, well educated. very gent
lemanly, and wonderfully andacious.
He lived several months at the
larger hotels, dn, ssed in such ex-
treme of the fashion as to attract
attention, and paid his bills prompt
y; and all the money was obtained
by snta'< thievng in the rooms OF
fellow guests. In one instance he
took q bag containing negotiable
bonds worth $4,000. When caught
at last by watchman, he drew a
pistol and attempted to escape by
murder
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

The two cent postage scheme goes
into effect July lst,
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

The dogged persisteney with
which Salmi Morse sticks to bis de-
termination to produce the passion
play In New York, almost equals
that Of Ben Buttler when he was
running for governor of Massachu-
setts fer So many years, and if Salmi
can hold out for a few years he may
meet with success, as Ben did.
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

A prominent citizen of Hartford,
Connecticut, became dispIeased with
the way his wife dished up the fried
potatoes for breakfast ape ordered
her to leave the house, which she
naturally refused to do. He then
dismissed the servants, turned off
the water and gas and TODD lodgings
for himself at q fashionable board
ing house, His wife hired new
lot of servants, tapped neighbor's
water pipe, bought a lot of lanps
iabbed the poker through her bus
bands portrait, and is running up a
handsome grocery grocery bill which
he will have TO pay.
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

James Gillfillan has resigned his
office as United States Treasurer.
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

After many months OF anxious In
quiry and research. the Jeanette
board ot inquiry has adjourned with
the verdict that they find no one
guilty, and eensures on one for the
failure of the expedition and the loss
Of life, This will relieve a great
responsibility that many supposed
rested upon some one. That board
OF inquiry was a nice thing.
The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884, 1883-03-16

Since the floods in Cincinnati, and
the hotel fires in other places, it has
been almost impossible to suit hotel
guests, They want rooms above
high water mark, and below the fire
line, and finally the hotel proPrie-
tors compromised by hitching a shift
to every window, so in case of fire or
water guest could paddle his own
canoe
The Osceola times., 1883-12-08
His wife Was Dead.

A convict ata French penal settlement
who was undergoing life sentence, de-
sired to marry female convict such mar
riages being common occurrence. The
governor of the colony had no obiec-
tons, but the priest proceeded to cross
examine the prisoner. -'.I .,al
"Did you not marry in France" ask q
the clergyman. "ct rs1z
yes" 7fa ga.al-
"And your wife is deadp's .ssa -
"She is" H vat l.su 81. .l
"Have you any documents 10 show
that she Is dead?'
No"
Then ] must refuse 10 marry you.
You must bring some proof Of the death
of your WIFE"
There was pause, during which the
prospective bride looked at the anxious
woufd-be groom. Finally he said:
81 can prove that my former wife is
dead"
"How can you prove it?"
II was sent here for having killed her. u
The bride took him, notwithstanding
Possibly she may have been sent to the
penal colony for having murdered her
husband. At any rate, they were we'll
matched couple. '..
The Osceola times., 1883-12-08
SABBATH READING.

Live to be useful; live to give light; fol-
those who are enabled through grace to
shine as light here shall, in the world
to come, shine as suns and stars forever
and ever.
We have over-abundance OF discussion.
What avails it the repetition, over and
over.again of old plans, old recommends
tons of measures, unless they are prac-
tically adopted and carried into effect?
What we want is more work and less
talk.-Rev. I. l.. Cuyler.
Let this sink down into your ears, men
and women; LEI it clasp your thoughts;
let II penetrate your consciences; there
is no necessity in the universe for sin.
God is free from the odium of the
worlds record. He has furnished you
with all you need to obey every com
mand he has ever given to man.-Rev.
Dr. Magee.
II is strange that Christian men and
women cannot engage in work for Christ
and leave behind little ambitions and
self-seekings. Yet how often do bicker
ings and strife arise fran this cause to
the great discredit of the church. One
may undo in brief period all the good
of years by a spirit of contention grow
ing out of desire to occupy the highest
seat and TO fill prominent place.-Dr.
Broadus.
In the old days there were angels who
came and took men by the hand and led
them away from the city of destruction.
We see no white-winged angels now.
But yet men are led away from threat
enfng destruction; hand is put into
theirs which leads them forth gently to-
ward a calm and bright land, so that
they look no more backward; and the
hand may be little child's.-George
Eliot.
No words can express how much the
world owes to sorrow. Most of the
Psalms were born in wilderness. Most
of the epistles were written in a prison.
The greatest thoughts of the greatest
thinkers have all passed through fire.
| The greatest poets have learned in suf.
fering what they taught in song" In
bonds Bunyan lived the allegory that he
afterwards indited, and we may thank
Bedford Jail for the "Pilgrim's Progress. "
Take comfort, afflicted Christians When
God is about TO make pre-eminent use of
man, he puts him in the fre-United
Presbyterian.