Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1883-06-12
The Bad Boys Ma Comes Home.

"When is your ma coming back?'' asked
the grocery man of the bad boy as he found
him standing on the sidewalk when the gro
Gerry was opened in the morning, taking
some pieces of brick out of his coat peck
cts
ooh, she got back at midnight last
night" said the boy, as he ate few blue
berries out of case. ''That' what makes
me up so early. Pa has been kicking at
these pieces of brick with his bare feet, and
when | came away he had his toes in his
hand and was trying to go back up stairs
on one foot. Pa haint got any sense"
81 am afraid you are terror" said the
grocery man as he looked at the innocent
face of the boy. "You are always making
your parents some trouble, and it is a won
der to me that they don't send you to a re-
form school. What deviltry were you up
to last night to get kicked this morning %
'ENo deviltry; just little fun. You see,
ma went to Chicago to stay week, and
she got tired and telegraphed she would be
home last night, and pa was down town,
and forgot to give him the dispatch, and
after he went to bed, me and my chum
of mine thought we would have 4th of
July. You see, my chum has got sister
about AS big as ma, and we hooked some of
her clothes, and after pa got to snoring we
put them in pas room. Oh, you'd laffed
We put pair of number one slippers, with
blue stockings, down in front of the rock
ing chair, and q red corset on the chair,
and my chum's sisters best silk dress on
another chair and a hat with white feath-
er on it, on the bureau, and some frizzes
On the glass bracket, and everything that
we could ind that belong to q girl in my
chun's sisters room. Oh, we got real
parasol, toe, and left it right in the middle
of the door. Well, when I looked at the
layout and heard pa snoring I thought I
Should die. You see, ma knows pa is a
darned good fellow, but she is easily excl
ted. My chum slept with me that night,
and when we heard the door bell ring
stuffed pillow in my mouth. There was
no one to meet ma at the depot, and
she hired hack and came right up. No
body heard the bell but me, and [ had to
GO down and let ma in. She was pretty
hot now at not being met at the depot,
"Where's you father2'' said she, as she
began to ascend the stairs.
Il told her l guessed pa had gone to
sleep by this time, but l heard a good deal
Of noise in the room about an hour ago. aud
maybe ne was taking bath. Then I
slipped up stairs and looked over the ban
isters Ma said something about heaven
and earth, and where is the huzzy, and lots
of things l couldn't hear; and pa said
damtino, and it's no such thing, and the
door slammed and they talked for two
hours. spose they finally laid it on me,
as they always do, cause pa called me very
early this morning, and when came down
stairs he came out in the hall and his face
was redder'n a beet, and he tried to stab
me with his big toe-nail, and if it hadn't
been for these pieces of brick he would
nave hurt my feelings. I see they had my
chum's sisters clothes all pinned up in a
newspaper, and s'pose when I go back l
shall have to carry them home, and then
she will be down on me.
81 Il tell you what, have good notion
to take some shoemaker's wax and stick
my chum on my back and travel with
circus as doubled boy from Borneo. A
fellow could have more fun and not get
kicked all the time
And the boy sampled some strawberries
IN case in front Of the store and went
down the street whistling for his chum, who
was looking out Of an alley to see if the
coast was clear.