The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-05-15
SERENADING PA.
The Latest Cruel Joke Carried
Out by the Bad Boy and His
Chum.

Peaks Sun.
There, you drop that" said the
grocery man to the bad boy, as be
came limping into the store and be-
gan to tumble around box of straw
berries. Il have never kicked at
your eating my Goldfish, end crackers,
and cheese, and herring and apples.
but there has got to be dividing line
somewhere, and 1 make it at straw
berries at six shillings box and on
~ Two layers in a box. | only
bought one box, hoping some plum
Der or gas man would come along
aud buy it. and. by gum! every
body that has been in the store has
sampled a strawberry out of that
box. shivering IA though it was sour.
and gone of without asking the price.
and the grocery man looked mad,
took Ratchet and knocked in the
head of barrel O. apples, and said.
''There. help yourself to dried apples.
o, l don't want your Strawberries
or dried apples" said the boy as he
leaned against a showcase and looked
at a bar of red, transparent soap.
81 was only trying to fool you Saw.
that bar of soap is old enough to vote.
/ remember seeing it in the showcase
when | was about . year old, and pa
came in here with me and held me
up TO the showcase to look at that
fin tobacco box, and that round
zinc loking-glass and the yellow wood
en- pocket comb, and the soap
looks just the same, only little fad
ed. If you would wash yourself
"nce In a while your soap wouldn't
dry upon your hands, and the boy
sat down in the chair without any
back. feeling that he was even with
the grocery man.
You never mind the soap. 1t is
paid for, and that is more than your
father can say about soap that has
been used in his house the past
month, said the grocery man, az he
split up q box to kindle the fire.
But We won't quarrel. What was it
/ heard about q band serenading your
father. and his inviting them in to
lunch
Don't let that get out, or pa will
kill me dead 1t was q joke. One
Of these Bohemian bands that goes
eabout town playing tunes, for pennies,
was over On the next street, and /
told pa I guessed some of his friends
who had heard We had baby at the
house had hired q band and was COM
ing In few min utes to sernade him,
and he better prepare to make a
speech. Pa is proud Of being q
father at his age, and he thought it WAS
no more than right for the neighbcrs
to serenade him, and he went to load.
ing himself for a speech in the literary,
and me and NV chum went out
and told the leader of the band tn ere
was q family up there that wanted to
haze some music, and they didn't
care for expense, 30 they quit blow
ing where they came right al,ng.
None of them could understand En-
glish except the leader, and he only
understood enough to 60 and take q
drink when he is invited. Ny chum
steered the band up to our house and
got them to play Babies on Our
Block and Baby Mine, and l stop
ped al the men who were going home,
and told them to wait minute and
they would see some fun. So when
the band got through the second tune
and the Prussians were emptying the
beer out of the horns, and pa stepped
out on the porch, there was more nor
q hundred people in front of the
fAo,se. You'd a died to see pa when
he put his hand in the breast of
his coat and struck an attidue. He
looked like congressman or a tramp.
The band was scared. cause they
thought he was mad. and some of
them were going to run, thinking he
was going to throw pieces of a brick
house at them, but my chum and the
leader kept them. Then pa
sailed In. he commenced, Eel
low citizens, and then went way
back to Adam and Eve, and worked
up to the present day, giving a histo-
~ of the nc table people who had &C.
4uired children, and kept the crowd
interested. Ifelt cory for pa, cause
i knew how he would feel when he
came to find out he had
been sold. The Bohemia ms
In the band that couldn't understand
lEnglish. they looked at each other,
and wondered what it was all about.
and finally pa wound up by stating
that it was every citizens dnty t own
children of his own. and then he in
vited the band and the crowd in to
-C-l->-s-