The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1883-06-28
..MATGH-MAKING.
A Bright neutrality-suspicious. and
Shining in Society.


American mothers have acquired some
reputa ton for skill and energy in con.
nubial management on behalf of their
daughters. A Partisan newspaper some
time ago recorded an exceedingly clever
bit of matchmaking, executed by an
American lady of this order in brilliant
style. Her eldest daughter had sailed
from New York with some friends for d
tour Of Europe; and after "doing" the
continent had returned to the French
capital for several months Of rest and
pleasuring. Attractive and clever, she
had many suitors. some more, some less
desirable. She could not marry them
all, SO she adroitly reduced the number
o two-the best of the lot, Of course.
Then she wrote home to her mamma,
explaining the exact situation of affairs,
adding that they were both 80 handsome
agreeable, we'll .connected, and rich, that
she could not decide between them, and
closed with the question, "What shall I
do?" Ten days later she received q
cablegram from mamma: II sail to-
morrow; hold both till COME" The
next transatlantic steamer brought Mrs.
Blank with her second daughter, just
turned eighteen, and fresh from school.
On her arrival the old lady ut once took
the helm of affairs, and stored SO doft-
q few weeks she had reached port with
all colors flying. TO drop metaphor, she
attended the wedding of her two dagh-
ters at the American chapel on the
same morning. After due examination
she had decided that neither of the
nice fellows should 60 out OF the family.
Here is an illustration of a much less
skillful attempt at match making, with a
very different denouement. A certain
member OF Parliament, who owned ex-
tensive estates, was spending q few days
at the residence OF noble family.
ThsFs luas & Jns faa
''It is reported" said the Countess,
that you are to marry my daughter
Lucy, and what shall we do? What
shall we say about it?" "Oh," replied
the considerate M. p, lust ssy she re-
fused me-"
We have said that men do not, as
rule, figure conspicuously as match
makers; nor do they; but the judgment
and policy exhibited in this connection
by knowing old gentleman of our &C.
duaintance could hardly be surpassed
by the most accomplished tactician of
either sex. "Brown," said d neighbor
to him one day, II don't see how it is
that your girls all marry off as soon as
they get old enough, while none of mine
"Oh. that's simple enough" he re-.
plied;"' I marry my girls off on the
buck wheat-straw principle"
"But what principle is thats Never
heard of it before"
swell, I used to raise a good deal of
to git rid1of the straw. Nothing would
At last thought Of a plan. stacked
my buckwheat straw nicely, and built
high rail- fence around it. My cattle, of
course, concluded that it must be some
thing good, and at once tore down the
fence and began to eat the straw. I
drove them away and put up the fence
a few times; but the more I hunted
them off the more anxious they became
to eat the straw and eat it they did
every bit of it. AS said, marry my
girls ON the same principle. When
young man that I don't like begins to
call on my girls I encourage him in
every way l can. I tell him to come
often and stay as late as he pleases; and
I take pains to hint to the girls that l
think they'd better set their caps for
for him. It works first rate. He don't
make many calls, for the girls treat him
as coolly. as they can. But when a
young fellow that I like comes around,
son-in-law, + don't let him make many
calls before I give him to understand
that he isn't wanted about my house. 1
tell the girls too, that they
shall not have anything to do with him,
and give them orders never to speak to
him again. The plan always works ex-
actly as wish. The young folks begin
to pity and sympathize with each other;
and the next thing l know is that they
are engaged to be married. When I
see that they are determined to marry,
of course give in, and pretend to make
the best of it. That's the way I manage
it."
An old lady who had several unmar-
ried daughters fed them largely on
fish diet. because, as she ingeniously OBJ
served, fish is rich in PHOSPHORUS, and
PHOSPHORUS is the essential thing in
making matches. If the phosphoric diet
caused the young Aadies to shine in
society, they in all probability did not
adopt it in vain; for, just as the fish are
easily attracted in the night by any
bright light thrown upon the
water, so young men are invariably
found to flock after any girl who
"shines" even though her accomplish
ment may be of very shallow, superb
cial. or phosphorescent character. No
experienced matchmaking mamma re-
quires to be taught the value ofdisplay
as an almost certain means of attraction.
That is the secret of the ball suppers
and iced campagne, the heavy dress
makers bill and the thousand and one
other items of extravaganza that have to
be met in order that the young ladies
may make a Observation-Disclosures"
and may finish With 4 successful match.
And that is why 50 many of these match
making ventures have so often resulted
in the most deplorable sequels. Display
is met with display-the one frequently
as hollow and false as the other. The
distinguished foreigner or the fascina-
ting young nobleman is discovered,
when it is to late, to be nothing more
nor less than an unprincipled adven-
turer; and the merchant who was sup
posed to be little if anything short Of
millionaire is found, also when it is too
late, to be on the verge Of bankruptcy.
Very often in such matches both par
ties are sold, and then the universal ver-
dict is, ''Serves them ri2ht."-Cham-
ber's Journal.
IA Joke on a Soldier.