River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1883-02-08
A Pinacuro Trim

We have learned new lesson in
geography. Our maps are a delusion
and snare. Time tables are a fraud
We, that is the writer, have lately been to
st. Paul. Now we had, judging from our
school Biographies, supposed that the
said city was distant from River Falls
thirty miles, but by actually travelling
over it we found that it is all a mistake.
We can prove it by figures and figures,
says the old proverb, don't lie. 1t is just
exactly three hundred and sixty miles
from st. Paul to River Falls, and to travel
it at this season involves as much acu-
men and almost as many changes of con-
veyance as Phineas Fogg used to go
around the world in eighty days (See
Jules Vernel.
You see the way we figure it is just this
4 firSt-claSS passenger train makes thirty
miles an hour, now nobody believes for
moment that any railroad company would
put on any but double extra frst-class
train on our road, running as it does
through such a beautiful country flor isn't
it covered with the beautiful snow?) and
of course such train couldn't make less
than from thirty to forty miles per hour.
and our running time from St. Paul to
River Falls was just - hours; allow
ing one hour for stoppages 80
times u hours is $50 miles; isn't it proven?
We arrived at Hudson about 8 p. M,
but as the time tables told us that it was
only one half hour to River Falls we
didn't secure berths in the sleeper until
later. 1t is true that the route must be
very crooked. We are sure that there
must be at least seven "Ys" on the route
tor we ran forward and back after we
left the bridge before we took the turn
70. nj MI ~ of
After we got fairly on to the River
Falls branch we were told that it might
De some time before we made the run.
One enthusiastic individual proclaimed a
belief that the train would run over i'll
twenty minutes, but he was squelched
very properly. Finding at length that
the cars were little behind time the
porter was called upon to make up the
berths. The River Falls train has no
Pullman and doesn't run Wagner, but
nevertheless. the coach was soon trans
formed into sleeper by the summary
process of taking two seats for one berth.
There were several boys on the train
when we started from Saltwater, at least
we suppose they paid half fare on that
branch, but by the time we got to River
Falls the conductor wanted full fare they
had grown so much. One of these boys
felt very homesick and kept crying out
for his ma, and wanted very much about
ten D. m. to get into his mas pantry.
Another boy who occupied tie same
berth suggested that he had better dry
up which sentiment the passengers fully
concurred.
About half way home the engineer
thinking the weight of talent in the rear
coach too much dropped off that part of
the train and came in with his freight
cars, but soon returned with extra help
TO get the boys in. At this jupcture the
air brakes, as we suppose, were sudden
Nv applied with the effect of sending one
lady through window partly, another
lady from her seat on the cushion to one
on the floor and another passenger, a
gentleman who would have hoary hair if
ne wasn't exceedingly well preserved,
| received blow upon the head, which
made him suppose for moment that he
was about to interview st. Peter. We
| found after this episode that the engine
| had become disabled, and so it became
necessary to send for another class OF
conveyances to transport the passengers
| to River Falls, where we arrived in time
/ for breakfast.
| In this detail of experiences we do not
| wish it to be supposed that we cast any
| blame upon the people connected with
the railroad; on the contrary we believe
| that all was done by the train hands and
others that could be done, both for the
comfort of the passengers and to get the
train through, but freight hlookades and
snow drifts will occur and when train,
get off time delays are probable. We
/ NAV add that the officials of the Omaha
| line are awake to the necessities Of the
case and making every effort to remove
all existing troubles, and that We trust
the future traveller over that road vii
find our experience thing Of the past
/ D. II.