davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1883-03-15
Tried to Show Her.

A good joke is told. of an Austin
young man who overrated the powers
of the telephone. He had an engage
ment to take his sweetheart to a So
ciable, but, happening to an accident
on the way to her house, he went to a
near telephone to explain to her why
he couldn't fill his engagement. Co
ing to the instrument he called the in
evitable
"Hellop
Hello again" came in softest ac-
cents.
as that you Miss Eula?"
eyes; is that you ,DeWitty"
"Yes. Say, Miss Eula, I've met
with serious accident, and can't
20, DEWITT What is it? Are you
hurt much?'
mo; not hurt at all; but"
"Then why can't you come? II
you're not hurt, what is the matter
Please tell me-" with great anxiety
and curiosity.
30, it amt much. I'll tell you some
of these days"
mo; / want to know. I'll be mad
now if you don't tell me. What is it =
This time make the telephone howl
and vibrate.
well, if you must know, I've torn
my best pants from the Rio
Grande to the Red River. Just look
there" and he raised his coat and
turned towards the telephone amidst
the roar of laughter from the few who
were gathered around. He thought
his girl could see through the tele
phone in his excitement. Thel
| haven't met since.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1883-03-15
New York News Compiled by a Tramp.

The New York Commercial Adver-
tiser is the oldest paper in this city.
1t was established in 1894, and is
therefore more ancient than either
Ex-Governor Roberts, Ashbel Smith
or Dan McGary.
The new Fulton market will be fin
ished by April. 1t is model of style,
comfort and convenience. Its front
is ornamented with engravings of an
imals' heads.
A very large ten-story building is
going up on the old postoffice site. 1t
fronts on Nassau, Liberty and Cedar
streets. Its cost be 100000.
The Brooklyn bridge will be COM
pleted by or before the list of May.
ELECTRIC LIGHT AT THE SEASIDE.
The residents of Seabright, Mon
mouth Beach and Rumson are now
building powerful electric light APP
paratus to light the place with the
electric light.
PUT THE WIRES UNDERGROUND.
The necessity for putting the tele-
graph wires underground in this city
becomes daily more imperative. The
Western Union company are taking
time by the forelock and purpose lay
ing an underground cable from their
general office as far as Twenty-third
street. The work will be begun, it is
said, as soon as the frost is out of the
ground. The DAILY bill, which Is now
before the legislature, proposes to
sweep away those hideous poles and
the network of wires which disfgure
the streets.
AN AVENUE FOR EXTRA TRAFFIC
FROM THE EAST RIVER BRIDGE.
The clerk of street openings says
sooner or later Elm street will have
to be opened. 1t has been proposed
to open a new thoroughfare that
would cost more than million dol
lars. 1t would commence in Centre
street, and after cutting off part of
the building at the southwest corner
of Centre and Chamber streets, would
run diagonolly across Chambers street
to the north side, cutting out No. ~
and part of Nos. 81 and 81. Then 1t
would cross to Reade street. From
Reade to Blocker the fronts of all
| the buildings on one side would have
= he cut away. A new street would
| be iade from Bleecker to Great Jones
street, where it would run into La
| fayette place. The street would be
$50 wide from Chambers street to
Lafayette place. This would make a
thoroughfare admirably suited for all
extra traffic and would greatly relieve
Broadway. If this plan seems To
meet with favor with the property
owners meeting of the board OF
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1883-03-15
Good at Composing.

Young Swellhead and old Mr.. Swill-
tub were standing in front of the.
STATESMAN office the other evening,
when a member of the legislature
passed by with lady by his side who
was not his wife.
THAT man is fine composer, Mr..
Swilltub," remarked young Swell
head.
"1s, Ell 2"
ayes. sir, he is. lie frequently
writes for the STATESMAN, and Is
considered the best composer in the
eighteenth legislature. He can COM
pose anything"
"You think so? Well, I'll bet you
l can name one of the commonest
kind of composing that he can't do. =
"I'll take the beta box Of -
Now, let's hear the thing
compose"
"Well, when his wi
stairs in her slippered
uncombed hair an6
ging and kissing
maid like all posse
pose her feelings,
it. I've tried it."
Young Swellheat
paid the bet.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1883-03-15
KEIFER'S NEPOTISM.
He PrOcures the Resignation Of a
Faithful Official and Puts His
Nephew i'm His Place,
Especial to the Courier journal.


WASHINGTON, March 4.-One of
Speaker Keifer's last official acts
places him in an unfortunate position.
Mr.. Tyson, one Of the stenographers
of the house appointed by the speaker
yesterday and informed that the
speaker desired the place for his sis
ter's son, Mr.. Gaines. Mr.. Tyson de-
INJURED, and later in the day wrote a
letter. representing that he was enter
ing on a vacation period when he
would enjoy rest after his labors for
two sessions, and that, for business
and family reasons, a resignation
would be inconvenient. The speaker
sent almost Immediately the follow
ing remarkable letter to Mr.. Tyson:
Il haven't time to go into details,
but l will appoint Mr.. Gaines to one
of the places as stenographer held by
you or your colleague, and l prefer
that you make an arrangement which
will save me from the painful neces-
sity of ordering a removal. 1t is due
me, think, that this certainly should
be done. l certainly would like you
and Mr.. Dawson to make satisfac-
tory arrangement"
At the side of the letter was writ
ten hastily: 81 have your letter, and
1 have considered it. Please send me
an early answer"
Mr.. Tyson not caring to engage in a
contest over such a matter with the
speaker, sent in his resignation, and
Mr.. Gaines was appointed within
twelve hours after Mr.. Tyson's resig-
nation had been demanded. The
speaker had no complaint to make
against Mr.. Tyson, because he ex-
pressly stated in his note accepting
the resignation that it gave
him pleasure to commend him,
and that he had been "a good report
er." The only possible conclusion is
that the speaker dismissed Mr.. Tyson
in order that his nephew might draw
a salary through the vacation, when
there is no work.
1t is stated that Mr.. Blaine, when
like vacancy occurred, and he was
urged to appoint a personal friend,
declined on the ground that it would
be sheer waste of public money.
Mr.. Gaines, who is newspaper cor
respondent, has been holding the
place of speakers clerk, to which Mr..
Keifer Immediately appointed Mr..
DehaSs, until recently clerk of Mr..
Robeson's committee, that on expen-
ditures in the navy department. Mr..
Dehass, who, it is stated, is relative
of the speaker, was originally appoint
ed as favor to, Mr.. Keifer, and re-
signed at Mr.. Robeson's request.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1883-03-15
Rev. DIR. Talmage Pays Tribute to
the Georgia Statesman.

N. Y. Herald.
At the Brooklyn tabernacle last
night DR.. Talmage paid warm trib-
ute of affection to the late Alexander
H. Stephens, who was for many years
a personal friend. The whole of the
evening discourse was devoted to les
SONS to be drawn from the life of the
deceased statesman. DR.. Talmage
took his text from Isaiah, k, 20-"A
little one became a thousand" In
this prophecy, said the preacher, is
set forth the fact that it is not amount
of avoirdupois weight which decides
effectiveness. Many man of insig-
nificant stature and feeble limb has
weighed ton on the right side of the
moral balances. Among the men of
small body but great soul place the
name of one the announcement of
whose death falls upon me with
this evening shadow. Alexander II.
Stephens is no more. With him l
have had warm personal friendship,
and the tidingS came to me like
sharp blast. As warm friend, de-
voted Christian, Il great soul wrapped
up in frailest earthly tenement, have
something earnest to say. He was,
first of all, Christian, with mOIe
brain than all the infidels now blatant
and disappearing around Washington.
All up and down the south are minis
tiers who went into hepulpit through
Alexander III. Stephens pocket. He
was one of the few men who, like
James LenoX, of New York, could
stay outside of the marriage relation
and Net become more genial and gen.
erouJ us the years went by. Ills
heart large enough for the whole
world to enter. Only eighty-tive
bounds in physical weight at any mo-
pent the last forty years, the posi-
6lity was that through the INSULT
Vent bars of flesh the spirit might fly
\tway.
lVThough \he lived in stormy times he
Vas champion of peace-the very
1t man inl his state to surrender to
The decree of secession, cly III, out for
compromise, counselling amity. Had
there been ten such men at the south
and ten such men at the north the
grave trenches would never have
been dug. What an example for all
ages as to what invalidism may ac-
compliSh is this one emaciated man
now departed! Why give up the bat
| Tie Oh lll6 D6CduSe SOll6 Ol your
weapons are captured? Look out for
soldiers crutch and old mans staff if
they be welded for patriotism or
Christianity. 1t is not the number of
guns we carry, but the way we un-
Timber them. More than ever am L
impressed with the fact that the soul
is distinct from the body. That
man was a fool who thought
that the puny creature on the inva-
lids chair was Alexander ii. Stephens.
1t was only the shell. Away with
agnostic talk about the soul being
only the development of the bodyi
No; Alexander III. Stephens lives. He
widens out into grander existence.
Never was there grander lesson of
immortality. So much soul and so
little body. What relief it must be
to get out of cripple's vehicle! Wing
inStead of crutchl Health instead of
sickness Rapture instead of pain!
Heaven instead of earth! 1 am glad
for this additional evidence that
Christianity is not an imbecile fabri-
cation. If it had been a sham Alex
ander H. Stephens was the man to
| find If ont
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1883-03-15
The Court Of Anneals

Through the courtesy of Mr.. James
l.. White, clerk of the court OF aD-
peals, the STATESMAN is furnished
with the following list of assign
ments for the April term of the court,
which conveneS in this city on Mon
day, the second day of April next:
FIRST ASSIGNMENT--MO April,
,, 1883.
Archer, Baylor. Clay. Cook, Collin.
ID lllas, Denton, Ellis, Fannin. Gray
son, Greer, Hardin, Knox, Lamar.
Montague, Oldham. Parker, Tarrant.
Wilbarger, Wise, Wheeler.
SECOND ASSIGNMENT 49, MONDAY
APRIL rs, 1883.
Atascosa, lIa5trop, Bexar, Blanco.
Caldwell Comal, Guadalupe. Hays'
X irnes, Live Oak, Lee, Travis. Will
hanson, Wilson.
THIRD INSTRUMENTATION DAY. April.
30, 1883.
Bandera, Brown, Burnet, Callahan.
Coleman, Comanche, Coryell, Crock
EFT, Coneho, Dawson, Dimmit, East
land, FL Paso, Edwards. Erath, Frio.
Glllisple, Hamilton, Haskell, Hood,
Jack, Jones, Kerr, Kendall, Kimble,
Kinney, La Sale, Lampasas, Llano.
Mason, Maverick, Medina, McCul-
Tough, McMullen, Menard, Mitchell.
Nolan, Palo Pinto, Pecos, Presidio.
San Saba. Shaekleford. Stephens, SOM
erville, Taylor, ThFoclmorton, Tom
Green, Uvalde, Washington, Young.
Zavalla.
FOURTH INSTRUMENTATION MAY
Ii, 1883.
Bell, Bosque, BraZos, Burleson.
Falls, Hill, johnson, Limestone, Mi
lam, McLennan, Navarro, Robertson.
FIFTH, OR SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT.
Felony cases transferred from other
branches of the court, and those sent
direct to Austin from other counties,
not contained in the preceding as
signments, will be taken up at any
time during the term, upon submits
sion by either the state or the appel
liant; and the authority by which such
cases are returned to that term shall
appear In or accompany the record.
Wednesdays and SATURDAYS of each
week will be set apart for delivering
opinions and hearing arguments. Ar
guments will be heard on no other
days, and will be regulated by rule
81, rules for supreme court, and rule
~, rules for court of appeals.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1883-03-15
Needed LEGISLATION.
[BelleYIle Standard


There is a law imposing heavy
fine upon persons found armed in
public assemblies, but it is seldom, if
ever, enforced-for the reason, per-
haps, there is no way of ascertaining
the guilty parties. Whatever excuse
men may have for bearing arms,
their own good sense should teach
them that there are times they should
not not carry them, whether there is
a law forbidding the practice or not.
If this principle was universally OBJ
served, there would be fewer acct
dents like the one here chronicled.
Churches, ball rooms, theaterS.
and other resorts frequented
by ladies and children, are
not the places to carry deadly weap-
ons. Men have no occasion to use
them there, nor do they go there with
any such expectation. Like Sheriff
Blakely, many people are so accus-
toned to bearing arms that it is to
them a second nature, and they put
them in their pockets without scarce
ly knowing what they do. This GUS
tom might have found ample justifi-
cation in the early history of Texas,
when the scalping.knife and six
shooter were mightier than the law,
but that necessity now no longer ex-
lists, and should be thought of
only as thing of the past. By all
means the legislature should pass a
law that will preclude the possibility
of accidents like the one that has just
taken place, if such thing can be
done through the fear of swift and
terrible punishment. If the carrying
of concealed deadly weapons into
places like those herein enumerated
was made punishable by confinement
for term of years in the state peni-
Tertiary, offenders would become per-
ceptibly scarce and the lives of the
innocent less frequently jeopardized
by criminal carelessness.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1883-03-15
Somewhat of a Coincidence.
[San Francisco News letter.

san francisco news LeGUer.I
San Quentin PRISONS vast charnel
house of wroDg-doing. yet, although
a Joint legislative committee has evil
dence of the fact, and although a leg
islature is in session which is album
dainty competent to effectively deal
with the rascalitieS of that institu-
ton, nothing whatever will be ac-
complished. To outsiders this may
appear inexplicable. 1t would seem
to follow that known and proven
wrong should be remedied. If 1t is
not, if legislators hesitate to do their
duty, if committees fail to report and
ignore bills of a reformatOry charac-
ter. what is the conclusion? AT Sac
ramento the fact is only too palpable
that there are occult influences at
work. The atmosphere is charged
with rumors of corrupt practices.
That a sack" has been introduced,
and that corrupt influences are at
work, is only too certain. There are
some signs as certain as Holy Writ.
When men do things which they would
not do except for mony, there can be
no reasonable doubt of what is
in the background. A month ago, a
bill was introduced providing that all
articles bought and sold from San
Quentin should be competed for by
public bids duly advertised and made
known. On its face, it was just and
righteous measure. Its effect was to
break up a ring that is making at
least a cool hundred thousand dollars
a year at the expense of the state.
Yet, to this hour, it has not been re-
ported back, and the member in charge
of it has importuned members of the
assembly state prison committee in
vain. The present management of
San Quentin is Republican, and is in
the hands of ring that will contrib
ute thousands of dollars to the next
Republican campaign. and yet Demo
cratic Legislators cannot be got to put
an end to state of affairs that threat
ems evil to their party. WhyY Be
cause corruption fund that comes
home to certain members is dearer to
them than party or state interests.
That is the plain truth, as we have
ascertained it to be.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1883-03-15
A Train Fired Into,

Thursday evening, as the train on
the Austin and Northwestern railroad
was between the stations of Brueg-
gerhoff and Cummings, coming south,
some party or parties fred two shots
into the passenger coach. Both bull
lets went in a window, and came very
near hitting lady. AS will be seen
by an advertisement elsewhere, the
railroad company offer reward of
500 for the apprehension of the per-
petrators of this outrage. The scoun-
drels, if caught, should be dealt with
summarily and severely. This sort
of thing has been very common in
other states. Texas should suppress it.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1883-03-15
Cannot BE Defended.
IImestone Ner Rrn.I

li4ilneSlOhc NSN A-i1'l
Under the law the legislature must
iirst confirm the lease before it is legal.
THE minute the legislature ratiiies the
lease the responsibility attached to it
will be transferred from the peniten-
tiary board to the legislature. When
the present lease was made no ono
had an opportunity to bid on the
proposition TO lease for fifteen years
except Cunningham Il Ellis. The
1aw requires the advertisement of all
propositions to lease the penitentiary,
|but the penitentiary board formI-
Hated the proposition to make the
present lease and submitted it to the
|present lessees and no one had an op
to compete with them. Such
IA lease cannot be defended by any ont
lin favor of fair dealing.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1883-03-15
Rescued FROM

William J. Coughlin,
Mass, says: "In the
was taken with bleeding On
followed by a severe cougYIlIIIly
my appetite and flesh aud was con-
lined to my bed. In 1877 j was adj
mitted to the hospital. The doctors
said / had hole in my lung as big as
a half dollar. At one time a report
was around that / was dead. / gave
up hope. but a friend told me Of Dr.
William Halls Balsam for the lungs.
l got a bottle, when to my surprise,
commenced to feel better. and to-day
i feel better than for three years past.
IL write this hoping everyone af-
fiicted with diseased lungs will take
DIR. William Halls Balsam, and be
convinced that consumption can be
cured. / can positively. say 1t has
done more good than all the other
medicines have taken since my sick
ness"
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1883-03-15
T. OCHlLTREE.
The Mighty Texas Representative
Thinks He Would Like t, be
A ROSS
Especial to the CommercLal Gaz.tte. ]

Especial to the Commercial Gazdte.l
Representative-ele L. Ocliltree's
offer Of $500 to compromise his, deficit
remains as yet unaccepted by he so
licitor of the treasury, who has writ
ten to the district attorney at Calves
ton for information. Col. Ochifree's
trouble, however. does not prevent
him from attending to his coArres-
sional duties. He claims TO lave
great influence with the present adj
ministration, and is now having re-
pared for future use list OF alyshe
government employees in Washington
credited to Texas who do not beAng
60 that state, or who have. lost iten-
titF with its interests on accoun, of
long absence therefrom. lie
proposes to demand the DIS
icharge,of every person that he deeds
is wrongly credited, and Will I'LL the
places with Texans true and tried
who have been of service to him II
securing his election. Mr.. Mahone'S
efforts in this line will appear but
feeble when the terrible Texas Dos:
falls to the work he has mapped out
for himself-in pruning out thos'
he deems unworthy. Washington il
not the only place that will be at
tended to. There are certain Officials
in Texas. notably Collector of In
terual Revenue Umbdenstock, of tn,
third district, and Collector Haines
against whom charges have beel
fiied. and whose removal would 81
the breasts of several Texans wit
10Y. These parties seem to hav
made up their minds to secure hi
good will, and help to effect the n
moval of the above-named official
who are as yet allowed to remain i
Office by President Arthur and Secrs
tary Folger. In return for this the
promise to use their best efforts
bring about q compromise Of Ochi
trees judgments. 1t is not as "
known whether Col. Ochiltree will n
move UmbdeEstock and Haines to g(
the aid offered. but that he is able
10 so there Is no doubt in the mind
of those counting him. In all thi
talk of securing a compounds. notl
ing is said of Solicitor Raynor's poss
bic objection to being influenced b
ANYBODY Ia matter which concerr
the interests of the government
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1883-03-15
Buffers Spoons.

st. Louis special Dlepatch.l
Last month the st. Louis Chronicle
published a story to the effect that
Iwhen Ex-Governor Long, of Massa-
'rhusets, was ut the Merchants eX-
change, ex-PreSident Charles Il. Stay
back told him story to the effect
that General Butler is now using a
span OF horses which he stole from
ISlayback's father-in-law, Mr.. New
Imam, of New Orleans. Mr.. Slayback
supplemented this statement with
'bne to the effect that he saw the team
|or the last time on board II, vessel
bound for Boston, with n coffin full
Hpf spoons, several hat-racks and
bone cooking utensils and furniture.
B,opies of the paper containing the
Story were sent To Gov. Butler, who
denies the harsh impeachment in the
following letter, published in to-day's
Chronicle: -----
DEAR SIR-It is not copper's
consequence to anybody what such Il
fellow as Siayback may say. IL any
body believe that ] would put spoons
in a coffin he would believe the rest of
the story. Unless the coffin was of
glass or left open, how could he see
that the spoons were in itY ] hired
the carriage horses and carriage used
by me when in New Orleans from u
stablekeeper there. The only two
horses that brought away were those
| took to New Orleans from Massa-
chusetts, and they came in a vessel
from thence to New York.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1883-03-15

street openings will be called and the
matter acted upon.

street openings VIII De called ana The
matter acted upon.
TO TAKE THE PLACE OF HORSES.
The "A. 5. Halliday" system of Ca
bic street railways, which has been
long and successfully in use in San
Francisco and Chicago, is about to be
adopted in this city. One of the lead
ing surface roads has sent an engineer
to Chicago to examine the system,
and several other roads have the
matter under consideration. The
projectors say it can be run at less
than one-half the expense of the
present system, and that the roads
could make money at three cents
a ride or four tickets for. ten
cents. The rate of speed is
about eight miles an hour, and this
speed is not diminished by the heavi-
est snow storms. The car is more
easily stopped or started, and runs
more smoothly than where drawn by
horses. The vehicle consists of a car
and dummy. The Car will seat four
teen, the dummy sixteen passengers,
but if necessary forty-four can ride in
the car and twenty-siX in the dummy,
severity in all