The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1883-07-12

caught the post, and he circled
around few times, and then he
let 60 and began to fall; and, sir
| he kept falling all across the room
and everybody got out of the way,
except a girl, and pa grabbed her
I by the polanaise like a drowning
man grabs at a straw, though there
wasn't any straws in her polonaise
ash know of, but pa pulled her along
as though she was done up in a
shawl-strap; and his feet went from
under him, and he struck on his
shoulders and kept a-going with the
girl dragging along like a bundle
of clothes If pa had had another
pair of roller skates on his shout
ders, and casters on his ears, he
couldn't have slid along any better.
Pa is a short, big man, and as he was
rolling along on his back, he looked
like sofa with casters on being
pushed across a room by a girl
Finally the girl fell right across
him with her roller skates on his
neck, and she called him an old
brute, and told him if he didn't let
go of her polanaise she'd murder
him. just then my chum and me
got there and we amputated pa
from the girl and lifted him up and
| told him for heavens sake to let
us take off the skates, cause he
couldn't skate any more than COW
and pa was mad and said for us to
let him go and he struck out again.
Well, sir, l was ashamed. An old
man like pa ought to know better
than to try to be a boy. This last
time pa said he was going to spread
himself and if L am any Judge of
big spread he did spread himself
Somehow the skates got turned
sideways on his feet, and his feet
got to going in different directions,
and pas feet was getting so far
apart that I was was afraid l would
have two pas half the size with one
leg apiece. l tried to get him to
take up collection of his legs, and
get them both in the same ward,
but his arms flew and one hit me
on the nose, and I thought if he
wanted to strike the best friend he
had he could run his old legs his
self. When he began to separate 1
could here the bones crack; but
maybe it was his pants; but any
way he came down on the floor like |
one of those fellows in a circus who |
spreads himself, and he kept going.
and finally he surrounded an iron
post with his legs and stopped and |
looked pale, and the proprietor of |
the rink told pa if he wanted to
give flying trapeze performance
he would have to 90 to the gynasi-
um, and he couldn't skate on his
shoulders any more, cause others
were afraid of him. Then pa said
be would kick the liver out of the
of the rink, and he got
up and steadied himself, and then
ne tried to kick the man, but his
heel went up to wonct and pa
turned a back summersault and
struck right ON his vest front.
guess it knocked the breath out of
him, for he didn't speak for a few
and then he wanted to 90
home, and we put him in a street
car and he laid down on the hay and
rode home. o, the work we had to
get pas clothes off. He had cricks
IN his back, and everywhere, and
ma was away TO one Of the nei0h
bors, to look at the presents, and 1
had to put liniment on pa, and 1
made mistake and got bottle of
furniture polish, and Rput it on pa
and rubbed it in, and when ma
came pa smelled like a coffin at a
charity funeral, and ma said there
was no getting that varnish off pa
till it wore off. Pa says holidays
are q condemned nuisance any
way. He will have to stay in the
house all the week.