Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-01-25
A Regular Farce.

5 A few days since Nathan who is
, acting as Collector for some parties,
presented bill to Adolph, one of the
debtors and demanded payment, but
Adolph thinking it did not pay to spend
his money upon his old debts, did not
give the Collector any satisfaction. So
he commenced an action by summons
against him. As soon as the summons
was served Adolph rushed over to see
the creditor and begged for little
longer time in which to make said
payment. The Dr., sent note by
him { Adolph) to Nathan telling him
he might give little further time.
Adolph thinking he had struck a
bonanza, FASTENED in search of his
adversary. Meeting him on the street
he presented the note and demanded
that the suit be stopped. But Nate
could not see the point and declined
to pay the costs already made, just to
accommodate Adolph. Upon which
Adolph commenced general lombard
ment of abusive language, which
finally resulted in an alteration and
he (Adoiph) was put in the snow to
cool off Whereupon Adolph started
in hot pursuit of Justice to institute
proceedings against the aforesaid Ma
than, for stopping his wind works.
His Honor, M. G. Woodwork, gave
the applicant the necessary papers and
the Marshal gobbled Nathan and drag
ged him into the presence of the
Court, who Immediately arraigned him
and he entered plea of "not guilty"
and there demanded change of venue
The Court refused to draw up the
affidavit. but kindly gave Nathan time
to go out and procure the aforesaid
document. Shortly after Nathan re-
turned with the mach coveted prize
and presented it to the Court, who
accepted same without discovering
that by so doing he was losing jurris-
diction, while no other Court could
acquire any jurisdiction. The case
was transmitted to the Court across
the street, but that Court would not
entertain said cause by reason of lack
of jurisdiction. Consequently the
case went down. Adolph with blood
in his eye called for another set of
papers, which were given and Nathan
re- arrested, who again tried to catch
the Court mapping, but his effort prov
ed abortive. The Judge having dis
covered that chaff was poor food for
chickens during cold weather. So
jury was demanded Venue being
issued and jurors summoned they re-
paired to the City Council chamber
where the farce commenced again in
dead ernest
Mack a celebrated lawyer from
Montana made his appearance in the
Court Room, dressed in true Rus
sian style and looked wild and woolly,
and hard to curry, offered to defend
the case free of charge, but said if
defendant chose to pay him 10 or Is
dollars, he would accept the same and
say nothing about it.
Rev. Rich. A. Lunt remarked to
the fur cloak monster that he had
better stand his hair on end and try to
look wise, and at the same time prof
cred his services as private barber and
commenced putting on the finishing
touches to the learned gentlemans
head. Adolph began to weaken and
started in hot pursuit of some talented
lawyer to bull doze his ease through.
Returning shortly with the air of
victor he presented to the court Mr..
j. w. Cochran who had been engaged
to perform the part of prosecuting
attorney. The jury being sworn the
case went to trial Adolph being
complainant was first sworn who made
himself conspicuous, by being able to
relate verbatim all that Nathan had
said or done, but seemed wholly at
loss to recall single word spoken by
himself on the occasion of the alterca-
ton.
Mack was very anxious to know if
witness saw the Centralia marshal
during the time Of the fracas.
Opposite counsel objects.
Mack insists.
Counsel objects.
Witness answers "Ya.'
His Counsel objects.
Mack thinks it unfair for counsel to
get in SO many "objects."
Counsel still objects.