Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1883-03-15
THAT Rad BOY.
His sPar' Jokes him, and He
Jokes His Par

what on earth is that you have
got on your upper lip?" said the gro.
Gerry man to the bad boy, as he came
in and began to peel a rutabaga, and
his upper lip hung down over his
teeth, and was covered with something
that looked like shoemaker's wax.
"You look as though you had been
digging potatoes with your noseF'
"0h, that's some of pas darn
smartness. asked him if be knew
anything that would make a boys
moustashe grow, aud he told me the
best thing he ever tried was tar, and
for me to rub it on thick when went
to bed, and wash it off in the morning
| put it on last night, and by gosh, |
cant wash i. off. Pa told me all | had
to do was to use a securing brick aud
it would come off, and used the
brick, and it took all the skin of, and
the tar is there yet, and say, does this
lip look very bad?'
The groceryman told him it was
the worst looking lip he ever gszed
upon; but he could cure it by rubbing
a little cayenne pepper in the tar. He
said the tar would neutralize the pep
per, and the pepper would loosen the
tar. and act as a cooling lotion to the
lacerated lip. The boy went to can
of pepper behind the counter and
stuck his finger in aud rubbed lot OF
it on his lip, and then his hair began
to raise, and he began to cry, and
rushed to the water pail and ran his
face into the water to wash of the
pepper. The groceryman laughed,
and when the bad boy had got the
pepper washed off. and had resumed
his rutabags, he said:
THAT seals your fate, No man
ever triaes with the feelings OF the
bold buccaneer of the Spanish Main
without living to rue it | will lay for
you, old man, and don't sou forget it.
Pa thought he was smart when he got
me to put tar on my lip to bring my
mustaohe out, and to day he lays on
a bed of pain, and tomorrow your
turn will come. You will regret
that you did net get down on your
knees and beg my pardon. You will
be sorry that you did not prescribe
cold cream for my bruised lip, instead
Of cayenne pepper. Bewarel you
twelve-ounce to he.pOund huekster;
you gimlet-eyed seller Of dog sausage;
you sanded sugar idiot; you small
potato three card monte sleight Of
hand rotten egg fend; you villain that
sells smoked sturgeon and smoked
dogfsh for smoked halibut. Bewarel
the avenger is on yer track!
Look here, young man, don't you
threaten me, or will take you by the
ear and walk you through green fields
and beside still waters to the front
door, and kick your pistol pocket clear
around, so you can wear it for watch
pocket in your vest. No boy can
brighten me, by jingl But, tell me,
how did you get even with your pap
well, give me a glass OF cider, and
we will be friends, and | will tell you,
Thanks! Gosh, but that cider is
made out of mouldy, dried apples and
sewer water" and he took handful
Of layer raisins off the top of box to
take the taste out of his mouth, and
while the grocer charged a peck oil
rutabagas, q gallon of cider and two
pounds of raisins to the boys pa, the
boy proceeded:
You see, pa likes a joke the best
of any man you ever saw, if it is on
somebody else, but he kicks likes a
steer when it is on him. asked him
this morning if it wouldn't be a good
joke to put some soft soap on the front
step, so the letter carrier would slip
up and spill hisself, and pa said it was
an elegint idee. Pa is a Democrat,
and he thinks that anything that
will make it unhealthy for Radi-
cal offs holders is legitimate, and be
encouraged me to paralyze the letter
carrier. The letter carrier is as old a
man as pa, and | didn't want to
humilate, but / just wanted pa to give
his consent. so he couldn't kick if he
got caught in his own trap. Yer seeY
Well, this morning the minister and
two Of the deacons called on pa, to
have talk with him about his actions
in church, on two or three occasions,
when he pulled out the pack Of cards
with his handkerchief, aud played the
music box, and they had a pretty hot
time ia the back psFlor, and finally
they settled it, and were going to sing
a hymn, when pa handed them little
hymn book, and the minister opened
it, and turned pale and said: What
is this2" and they looked at it, and il
was a book of Hoyle's games that
had put in pas coat pocket for SAFE
keeping, instead Of a hymn book
GOSH wasn't the minister mad2 HI
had started to read a hymn, and ht
quit after be had read two lines. where
it said: "In a game Of fOur-handet
euchre, never trump your partner
dcCs bub Itly VI buO dCO W ldA6 JHt
trick on suit" Pa was trying to ex
plain how the book came to be there
when the minister and the deaceni
started out, and then | poured the
two quart tin pale fgll OF soft soar
on the front step. 1t was this Whit
soap, Just the color Of the step, anC
when | got it spread went down il
| the basement to get clear Of danger
| The visitors came out, and pa wa
trying to explain to them, (abSut tn
Hoyle), when one of the deaconI
stepped in the soap, and his feet hey
up and he struck on his pants, an
he slid down the steps. The ministe
said, Great heavens, deacon, ar
: you hurt? Let me assist you" an
: he took two quick steps; and you v
seen these fellows in . niger sho,
! that kick each other head over heels
and fall on each their ears, and stan
r on their hands, and turn around Xix
e Ia top. The minister's feet slipped
} and the next ! saw be was standin
L.