Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-01-11
HumOrs of the Day.

Inc young skipper VINO taxes a party
of girls out sailing should content him
self with hugging the shore.
A man who holds his opera glass in
both hands with his elbows sticking
out on both sides is preferable o a
lady with big hat at the theatre. You
can kick the man.
"You sat up until II o'clock last
night?" eyes, father" "Well, haven't
| told you that | wouldn't permit nay
young man to remain in my house
after 10?" "You have, father, but last
night Charley and | were trying the
Henry V. kiss.
The vernacular of the Boston girl is
becoming shockingly unesthetic. A
Bacon Hill belle was accosted by 3
friend who said reproachfully:
Emily this is the third time you
have been engaged since we returned
from Nantasket last fall"
eyes, Mollie," was the reply, I'm
not throw ing anything good over my
shoulder this season"
Looking for the comet, were your"
scornfully exclaimed Mrs. Marrowfat
Julia heard her mothers footsteps, bat
not in time to withdraw her cheek an
observed from young Mr.. Mortimer
Pierces vest. "Yes," responded Julia,
not knowing exactly what she said.
"And did you think you could find it
in Mr.. Pierce's waistcoat-pocket?'
Julia was silent. At her time of life
she could not be expected to answer
such a question. 1t is often 3 great
disadvantage TO be young.
An Austin young man has been bur-
ing yoang lady with his attentions for
some time past, although on various
and sundry occasions she has given
him to understand that he was distaste-
ful to her. A few evenings ago he
assured her that he was anxious to
fulfill her every wish. SIS it really a
fact that you will do whatever ! ask OF
your" "Your slightest wish Is law.
Command me and | shall obey
"Well, then, l wish you would see if
you can induce my mother to marry
you. She is a widow, and is not as par
ticular about whom she marrics As |
am"
''Why, what is the matter with your
hands?" asked the elder Miss Burnside
of Algernon Selkirk, who was making
an evening call. Il was out this after
neon taking a little turn at the oars"
replied Algernon, the athlete, "and the
damp wind has chapped Them" Isn't
It too funny how you men will go out
in cold, stormy weather Just for exer-
cise," Miss Burnside girhshly remark
ed, and then she murmured in get
Observation-Disclosures irty-year-old
tone of voice and gazing at her shapely
wedding ringless fingers, 81 would like
to have my hands chapped." A few
moments later the first chapped her
was ended.
A St. Louis station agent recently
picked something up which made HIM
blush add hurry to hide it in his pock-
ct. Shortly afterward 3 rich-looking
gentleman, approaching him, asked
him if he had found anything of valve.
"No," said he. Excuse me, " said the
gentleman, "but l saw you pick it up
Just now" The agent was on the poiut o
denying again, when, suddenly recol-
Letting, he pulled it out Of his pocket,
saying: That's it; but don't think
it's OF much value" The gentleman,
showing nm an elegant gold buckle
adorned with diamonds worth $500
walked of and handed the garter to
his delig hted wife.
The young man was evidently
honest in his intention, but three years
Of constant counting had failed to over
come his excessive bashfuness. They
were sitting in chairs at a respectful.
distance apart. Said the young man,
having spent five minutes in search Of
a subject: Glow do you get along with
your cooking?" Nicely replied the
fully. l can make splendid cake now"
young miss; Pm improving wonder
fully. / can make splendid cake now. 7
Can you, said the young man IN
pleased manner. What kind do you
ike best9' 81 ike one made with
-four, and sugar, and citron, and
raislns, and currants, and lots OF those
things, and beautiful frosting on top
responded the young miss. why,
that's . wedding-cske," exclaimed
the young man, nervously. Il meant
wedding" said the young miss, shy!y.