Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-02-08
Answers to Correspondents.


tAnata.-According to some of the best
; :, commentators the refrain
.an .ne wltches' song in Macbeth
.Douoie, double, toll and trouble" re.
iers to the alleged twins of which Mrs
macbeth was the mother.
r. Brsdget.-Yes, you are quite correct.
you pour Kerosene on q dull fire il
wa, Mili quicken it effectually. If YOU are
luchy, you may survive the quickening.
~ VI tnat hre and live to try it again; but
ehe chances are agin it, Bridget-the
chances are agin it.!
Adacyer.-four scruples of conscience
10 you great credit. Feeling as YOU
uo, IL would no doubt injure your pro-
!eSslonal standing should you undertake
me defense of a criminal belonging to a
iow-down family. Don't YOU defend
any criminal whose social standing is
not first-rate.
EtszG Jdne.-Trim your light blue silk
dress with old-gold satin ribbon green
lined, if possible), and have a GOOD
many oxidized silver buttons in front.
-FOUR long yellow gloves will 90 admir-
ably with this costume, and with your
maroon velvet hat you will look quite
100 altogether bewitching for anything.
Thomas W.-Well, let us suppose that
The burglar is in one of the upper rooms
and you want to catch him. You Just
get the rolling-pin, or two or three of
them If you can, and lay them on the
stairs. Then make row and the bur.
glar will run down, but he won't run far
before stepping on a rolling-pin, and
then you can descend at your leisure
and capture the remains of him at the
foot of the stairs. 1t isn't good plan,
however. to keep rolling pins on the
stairs habitually. The wrong person is
sure to forget them, and then there is
trouble and doctors bill.
Angelina.-No, my dear. If YOU are
young and good looking, and possessed
of private fortune of 100000 in your
own right, don't you 60 and get married
ii you want to succeed as an author. If
you can only persuade the editorial fra
ternity that you have the above-men-
toned points in your favor, you've no
idea what high opinion they will form
of your manuscripts They will accept
everything you can write, and will cor
respond with you in the most friendly
way. But just as sure as you get married
they will lose all interest in you, and will
even decline with thanks the pretty little
Home" and ssMy Baby'' and the rest.
No, Angelina, don't you do it.. That's
our advice; but if you are really bent
upon marriage, and your intentions are
strictly honorable, why, we might put
you in the way of hearing something to
your advantage. Anyhow, suppose you
send us your real name and address.
We might hear of something that would
suit you, you know.
Jdmes.-We are always glad to give
advice to young men who, like you,
have $4,000 with which they wish to
speculate in Wall street You want to
get introduced to some broker, in the
first place, and tell him your plans. He
will tell you not to put your money up
unless you can afford to lose it; and
then he will show you how, if you had
called the day before, you might have
doubled your investment. He won't
give you any advice-not he-but |
he will take your $1,000, and by neat |
and mysterious process which he calls |
buying on a margin, he will lay in about |
q million dollars worth of some mining
stock, which is bound to rise to par next |
week, and make you a millionaire. |
Every day you watch the reports, and
pretty soon your broker will sell you out |
at small loss, and re-invest in some |
thing else. and at the end of three or four
weeks your money will be all gone.
That is all there is. Nothing difficult |
about it! Oh, by all means 90 and put
money that you can afford to lose in
Wall street, 1t will be safe there! So
safe that you will never get it again.
But then you will know where it is, and
you will enjoy seeing your broker driv-
Ing. his span of bays in the park.-OW
Continent.