Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1883-04-28
P1rH AND POINT.

The new telephone will transmit %
whisper seven hundred and fifty miles.
| This enables a man to tiirt with another
mans wife out of pistol shot range
N. 0. Picayune.
Forty years ago a man worth
$50, 900 was accounted wealthy; now a
patent-rights man doubts whether it is
worth while to skin him.-SomerviUe
Journal.
Why is q saloon like q sheet OF
music? The number of beats before the
bar varies according to time. Green
backs expended for cheering beverages
may properly be called ''full'' notes.
Detroit Free Press.
Somebody substituted a pile of corn
cobs for the doughnuts or a Vermont
railway restaurant counter, and they
were about two-thirds eaten before any
body discovered what had occurred.
1t is said that ''two hundred years
ago the Indians indulged in Turkish
baths" Yes, it must have been all OF
two hundred years ago. To Judge
from the one we saw last it might have
been a thousand years a~go.-Jerscy CITY
Idttler.
They are building tenement houses
so high in New York that the man who
occupies the top floor is obliged to start
for home about nine o'clock in the
evening in order to reach his bed
an hour after NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Herald.
This, from the pen of some philoso-
pher, is worth remembering: "He who
labors wholly for the benefit of others,
and, as it were, forgets himself, is far
happier than the man who makes
himself the sole object Of all his aftcc-
tions and exertions."
An officer in the regular army
laughed at a timid woman because She
was alarmed at the noise of q cannon
when q salute was fired. He subse-
quently married that timid woman, and
six months afterwards he took Off his
boots in the hall when he came in late
at night.-M Y. News.
"A Pennsylvania man proposed tc
kill the baby in order to reduce the ex-
penses Of the family, but his wife finally
persuaded him to reduce the dogs ra-
tons instead, and in q few weeks the
A1SA4AAy Vt%o " CIlouSA w Out Gkl1OUuC1
dog.-BurAngton Free Press.
1t is said that why so many married
ladies keep pet dogs is because theil
husbands are absent so much from
home. They don't have the CANNES fol
protection. It's because home doesn't
seem natural with no growing about
and the dogs growl during the time the
husband ought to be attending to tina
duty.-Phi1adelpAia Chronicle.
Father" said Johnny, "this paper
says that many prominent citizens are
now i'll with pneumonia and kindred dis
cases. What is a kindred disease, faith
err" "Why, my son." said Smithly, SO
kindred disease is-is-why-yes, yes, {
kindred disease is one that runs through
an entire family kindred, relatives
You know. Surprised you didn't know
that Johnny."-M Y. Post.
"A fair young damsel went into thu
business place Of of Troy's mos
worthy and kindly merchants, and ex
pressed a desire to purchase a certain
article. Several specimens were shown
her and she finally made choice of one
as meeting her wishes. She hesitated ;
moment and then asked, 'do you max,
3 reduction to ministers?" EYES," re
piled the gentlemanly attendant, ar
you a minister's wife?" .No-o-o,'
was the blushing respone, .sbut Iexpec
0 be SOON" The reduction wa
granted.-Iroy ON. " Times.