Daily globe., 1883-07-08
PLEASANTRIES.

HERE IS something hlgh-toned IL
church bells.
WHEN bank "goes up" it generally
fails to ." "come down"
TEL1ERs Of exaggerated stories are
known as yarn merchants.
WHAT five letters form sentence Of
forgiveness? Ixqqu.
"WHEN sorrow has left its Traces"
what has become of the rest of the
harness?
AN editor without backbone don't
amount to much. It's his principal
column you know.
Mr.. BUDD asked her, "Rose, wilt
thou be mine?" Rose answered, ''I am
sorry-but rose cannot be turned into
a bud"
BOILING hair in solution of tea viii
darken it, says an exchange; but some
folks don't like to have their tea dark
ened in that way.
A YOUTHFUL Pennsylvania Granger,
about to be chastised by his father,
called upon his grandfather to protect
him from the middle man.
"Now, THEN, what's your papa's
name, Freddy" "Dunno." "Don'G
know your papa's name Why, what
does you mamma call him?" "Bruter
ABARBER offered reward for instantly
removing superfuous hair. Among tn
answers was: Undertake to kiss Il
woman against her will
A 6-YEAR-o1D was enveloped III a shirt
much too big for In. After strut.L4g
about for some time he burst out: "Oh
ma! feel awful lonely in this bIg
shirt"
"WHAT is the greatest charge Oh
record" asked the professor Of history.
And the absent-minded student all
swered: "Seventeen dollars for hack
hire for self and girl for two hours.
"YoU never saw my hands as dirty as
that p said a petulant mother to her
little girl. "No, but perhaps your na
did !" was the sharp, if not respectful,
reply.
PHYSICIANS say it is not healthy to
sleep in the daytime. That is why the
baby which is taken to church never
goes to sleep. It knows what is good
for it's health.
AN old citizen in country village,
being asked for subscription toward re-
pairing the fence of the graveyard, de-
clined, saying, 81 subscribed toward
improvin' that buryin' ground nigh onto
forty years ago, and my family hain't
had no benefit from it yet"
"GIVE the young man chance" says
writer. Yes, give him chance at
church festival in rattle for blue-ey
doll in poke-bonnet, and "just too love-
ly for anything" Give him chance
to go out and kick himself full of holes
because he went to the festival. -
Christian at Work.
A YOUNG man living in Leadville
shipped to his little brother in st. Louis
choice donkey of the diminutive spe-
cies known as the Mexican burro. The
agent, in making out his manifest, con
cluded that 'burro" meant "bureau,"
and reported accordingly to his superior,
"one bureau missing and Ole jackass
over"
A FASHION writer says: "Aristocratic
household dogs are now provided by
their young lady owners with cushions
of plush, consisting of center mat with
raised border, which is stuffed with
wool, and has an outside covering of
velvet or plush, on which a design III
crewel work is seen." If q girl would
do so much for dog what wouldn't she
do for husband?
"BRUTUs BLINKBERRY, said that
gentleman's wife, drawing paper from
her pocket in the privacy of the cham
Der on Sunday morning, "Brutus Blink
berry, I've counted, and out of the last
thirty days you have come home intox-
icated twenty-seven nights; what do you
think of yourself? " Blinkberry groaned.
swell, what are you groaning about
now?" "Them three nights" replied
Blinkberry, with an expression of horri-
bic suffering.
ANTHRACITE Co4E.