Milford chronicle., 1883-09-28

/ friend OF mine nearly did 1t once, but
the camel burst before we could make
exact observations. My friend gave
him just little tin of nitro-glycerine.
The camel expanded before us like the
poodle in Faust, and like him vanished
into smoke.
!. An Afghan once told me that in his
country camels could be filed. I be-
lieved it, for I understood that camels
could do many things in his country that
they could not do here-go without
water for year or two, travel three
hundred miles a day, never get sore
backs. The time his camel got filed he
ate hay-stack, and with If, as a sort of
sauce 2oiqua'lte, three Of the Afghan's
brothers, who were lying upon it. This
Afghan said it was not the hay-stack
which filled the camel, but his brothers.
1 believed him. I never saw a camel eat
an Afghan, but have often wished their
appetites would take turn that way. Tt
would have been a soothing sight to a
man who has been afflicted with them as
fellow-travelers. A camel is very bad
by himself, but when taken in connec-
,tion with an Afghan he is simply mad
dening. A gentleman who has had
much experience in both of these arti-
cles assured the writer with tears in his |
eyes that he had no doubt there had |
been a decided increase Of insanity in |
South Australia since camels and Afghans
had been introduced there. Before they |
came with their insidious influence. |
colonial beer and Queensland rum were
the only causes producing any insanity |
beyond what is natural to the inhabi-
tants of the region. Now, alas there
are very few men there who are not |
more or less insane.
Taken separately, camels and Afghans
can be dealt with; together, they forma
disastrous social problem we are rs yet
incompetent to solve. In regard to dis
position, camels, with few exceptions,
are abominable. They are vindictive and
cunning. When their wrath is excited
from any cause, not only do they en-
deavor to trample upon you, but add in
suit to injury by splitting deliberately in
your face. Now in this matter of ex-
pectoration they are second to none.
Even a Missourian with a quid of James
River XXX in his capacious mouth
would have to be content with a back
seat. A camel never misses his aim.
One has been known to hit man in the
eye with three or four gallons of this
noxious fluid at distance Of forty feet.
An Afghan told me that in his country
he had seen a camel standing on one side
Of the Khyber Pass hit an innocent man
who, like Norvals father, was quietly
tending his focks on the other. 1t is
no doubt connected with the fact that
camels were until lately exceedingly
abundant and ferocious in the Khyber
Pass that the British soldiers have met
with so many disasters there.
OF course, when man is treated in
this manner by a camel, he naturally be-
comes imbued with strong desire to
shed that tylopod's gore. This is not
so easy to accomplish as it would at
first sight appear. Only a novice would
ever attempt to beat a camel with a
whip. A club is not sufficient. An ak
or crowbar. when iudiciously used, is
effective. The only vulnera-
bic part of tylopod is his nose. How
this happened to be an exception was a
mystery to me for a long time. One day
an Afghan told me it was owing to
merciful interposition of Allah in favor ,
of Mohammed, who, as every one knows,
was camel-driver before he went into
as q prophet
Mohammed one day found it neces-
sary to chastise a camel he was riding.
This is certainly probable.) He began,
but after wasting much energy and all
the clubs he could find within a mile
or two, prostrated himself on the
ground and implored the aid of Allah.
Allah answered his prayer, having prob
ably an eye to Mohammed's future ca
reer, and caused the camels nose to be- !
come tender. Mohammed then, guided
by inspiration, conceived the brilliant
idea Of tying that tylopod's head to a +
tree, and humping his nose with as big I
d stick as he could conveniently WELD. 7
The result was admirable. The camel I
arose and went along like a lamb. Mo
hammed, seeing with prophetic eye
that an immense benefit had been con-
ferred upon his race, left full instruc- I
lions how to manage a camel in the
Observation-Disclosures Book of the
Koran, where it may be read to this
1av. He mentioned also in that work &