Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1883-09-13
PLEASANTRIES.

PLEhSAN RlES.
A BABY-CARRIAGE is sometimes called
crycycle.
A FEMALE baseball club shows this is
freak country.
A MAN may lend his influence, but he
can't pawn it.-Er.
IT is the velvet-lined contribution box
that catches the trade dollar. r.-Er.
BosToN1ANs don't say "vacation;"
they call it "outing."- IN Y. Com.
The Maori doesn't remember whether
he was struck by cyclone or a tornado.
N. Y. Com.
The Zulu chief has not been set away,
oh on the shelf just yet. Bloomfield
(M ~ Citizen.
A PHILADELPHIA paper thinks there is
a widespread conviction that this coun-
try should be put on ice Immediately.
A SAILOR is called an old salt because
the minute he gets on shore he is in o
pickle. .-Philadell2l,ia Bulletin.
A KANSAS CITY man slept with cooked
revolver under his pillow. He uses the
telephone with only one ear now.-Eg.
"GIvE me synonym for lying" said
the teacher. Circus poster" promptly
replied the biggest boy in the class. N.
Y. Com.
ALABAMA boasts of watermelon with
a complete map of the world on its sur
face. The cholera districts are strongly
utlined.-Bwlington Free Press.
A NEWPORT man is so near sighted
that he fl,rts with his own wife. It's no
wonder her resemblance to his mother
iu-law did not put him on his guard.
A woRKINGMAN was killed the other
day while climbing over fence to get IL
drink. Moral-Always pass the bottle
under the fence.-Philadeiohia Press.
STATISTICS show that boy babies are
more apt to die than girl babies. No
wonder; the poor little fellows are
spanked harder and more frequently
En. = .''s '''F5l : u
The scientist of the Boston Tran
script diagnoses Wall Street sandwich
as follows: Bull on one side, bear on
the other, and little lamb in the mid.
dle."
EMORY SToRRs is said to possess 800
neckties. What advantage to him if he
gain q thousand neckties and loses his
own collar button under the bureau p
New York Graphic.
IT is mean wretch who will slyly
drop hair-switch in car loaded With
women, and then smile as he sees every
woman make a grab at the back of her
head when she notices it.
A ST. Louis man is said to have flesh
SO tough that walnuts can can be cracked
against it without buriipg hio1. He
might make money be letting himself
out to large hotel as nut cracker
LoweU Citizen. a4
A MEMpHrs girl was committed to
prison at the request of her parents, for
perslstlng i'll running after bass singer
belonging to colored minstrel troupe,
Jailed for fishing for black ass.-PhiI-
adet7ohia Herald.
A MEDICAL gentleman, speaking of the
bite of mosquito, says that "the sali-
vary duct in other Diptera leads him to
believe that the hypopharynx. of Culex
contains duct that pours out its poi
sonous saliva" Poiice!-Bos. Post.
PRESIDENT GREvY is fond of going
into the kitchen and bossing the cook
~. Y. Journal. Thereby reversing the
usual order of things. The cook gen.
orally bosses the gravy. II we were the
cook we'd gravy the boss. = Boston
Star.
" AM trying to brenk myself of slang
phrases" said the Cent:aIville girl
"and have been for some time. But
actually I used the word racket TO-DAY
before thought, and I'm so ashamed Of
myself. You won't give it away, will
you?"
AN entetprising exchange rushes into
PRINT with the startling information that
"Callgula, the Roman emperor, was
born on August 3lst, in the year 49,
Unfortunate man! The probabilities
are that he is dead ow.--Nor,.istoy,1
Herald. ~ w.
"IHE smell of fresh paint in room
| may be effectually gotten rid of by plac,
ing therein pail Of water in which n
few onions have been sliced" saws nm
exchange. To take away the smell OF
the onions, burn the house down.-Oi
City Derrick.
MANY of our first families who have
been living at fashionable hotels all
summer must, on their return home.
- e5uA4 ~ Il NilpN Vi SdlU mack
erel and boiled potatoes in order to save
money enough to 60 away next year
| YOnkerS Gazette.
Miss SUSAN B. ANTHONY will reach
home from Europe next month. and will
at once begin work on the third volume
OF her history of woman suffrage. Snson
does not intend to get left. There is no
woman suffrage yet to speak of; but a
history of it in three volumes can do NO
harm. w
IT seems that mackerel iust caught
at StoniDgton, Conn. has cast m n d;c.
nond valued at $500. If we we're The
iortncate owner of the fish we wonld
seep him sick at his stomach if we had
TO hold with both hands aud pour Il
down his throat. at.-Rocheste Posf. ~
press. -
PISTOLS at a picnic: The coyerle. of
gresn bedeckod with crimson fiow "
While Asa Barkley and Lemuel Hnobo,
make battle toe to toe-Witb sbattsrs5
ilmb ana wounded wrist the Hughes NJ
to Rrass-And the pistol ard olnh 4 ~ -
a Asa ont, aad his fghtiI DAYS are ,,sst
zoe nalls snofbered IN powdered gore
ana n fha ilko was never seeu betor. =