National Republican., 1883-08-01

With froth alone thou briinmest up
This thirsty heart of mlnel
But thinel ahl thine is brimmed with wine
Ofyouth, and thou, unhurt,
In life's first bust" hast only lust
To squirt and squirt and squirt
u W. Riley, IN Indianapolis Journal
SHREVEPORT, La, has received during tho
present year 1O4,3O7 bales of cotton against 64ol7
bales last year.
BosToN Globe: " 1t is easy to pick out tho
people ut the summer resorts who have not long
been acquainted with wealth."
The youngest editor in the world is but II
years of age. Such hardened propensities in one
so young is enough TO make the angels weep a
| trihe.
| To show that Indians appreciate histrionic
talent, 1t may be stated that two Reno squaws
purchased tickets to hear Janauscheck's "Mary
| Stuart"
ARIZONA produced last year 100000
pounds of copper, and thus far the present year
the increase has reached 3s per cent. over last
years production
IT is the same old story. Two Illinois
farmers had dispute about the boundary lines of
their farms Their dispute is now settled, and SO
are the lawyers-on their philadelphia
Neps.
The French government has met with
singing defeat from the municipal government
| of Paris The government desired the city OF
Paris to vote $4,000 900 for the construction Of
sewers, water works, school houses, and hospitals,
which the municipal council refused to vote.
"SHow me sensible man who is opposed
to capital punishment' exclaimed lawyer while
in conversation during recess of court. ~ am"
replied gentleman sitting near "And why so,
| sir? Give your reasons" Because sem
| tpnpel To he HING month - Osd, Tro,
| eler.
A VIGOROUS old fellow in Maine who had
| lately buried his fourth wife was accosted by an
acquaintance, who, unaware of his bereavement.
asked: How is your wife, Capn Plowjogger ?"
| To which the cap'n replied with perfectly grave
face "waal, TO tell ye the trewth, am kinder out
of wives just naow."-BoSton Commercial
"HAs the colonel been around this morn
| ing2' inquired guest at summer hotel. "Col-
onel what colonel p? asked the bell boy. "Why,
| the boss; the man who runs the hotel" "Colonel
| huh He amt no colonel" " Everybody about
| here calls him colonel" That's nonsense. He
had so many corns one year that some one called
him kernel in fun, but he amt no colonel
| Hartford Post.
OLD Mr.. S-came sauntering down to the
front gate night or two ago and interrupted
long conversation between his daughter and
| very intimate male friend "Why, pa" inquired
the damsel, "ain't you up later "Just got up,"
said the old gentleman shortly; Thought I'd
come out and see the sun rise" And then the
son rose from the rustic bench and sadly hied
him homeward.-Lansing Journal.
SMITH had been ill with q fever. Two Of
his townsmen meeting in the street. said one |;
| "How is Smith? Is he going to get well?" ~
hear" replied :he other. "that he is convslesc-
ing" "The deuce he isl'' exclaimed number one !;
poor fellowl then suppose 1t is all up with him"
Tnen he rushed home to search his dictionary 10
see what convalescing was. When he found out
he shut the book with bang, scowled, and called
somebody or other all sorts of fools-Bosto,,
Transcript
"Boss will you tell me how to make root
| beerY' asked q colored man of clerk in a Wood
ward avenue drug store a day or two ago. ''Why,
yes, can. Take a hickory stick, three gallons of
water an old hat, quart of moasses, a paper of
tacks, and pound of cayenne pepper and boil,
skim, and set in a cool place" Say dat agin,
boss so l kin dsremember." The clerk repeated his
directions and the customer brought his fist down
on the counter with the exclamation 81 sees
whar Ispiled my hull batch left out de tacKs p
M quad.
AN old negro met an Arkansas colonel on
the street and proposed to exchange very good
silver watch for one comparatively worthless. The
exchange was made, and several days afterwards,
why did you want to trade watches with me? Th Q
one got from you is an excellent timekeeper,
while tho one yon got from me is very little ac-
count" oval, boss yer see stole dat watch what
let yersef hab, but shortly afterwards jined de
church an 'cluded ter trade aroun' till got one
by homes ness. ."-7TauGler.
NEW ORLEANS Picayune: A great deal
} of flash literature comes by telegraph. :. Sum.
mer poets never strike....It is good time
now TO put the wires under ground. Instead
of O poisoned sausage, London has q home
, for lost dogs. Tho dark horse Of the campaign
stands under shade tree fighting flies. :. .One
good turn expects another, in an ice cream
freezer, unless the thing is automatic. Wong
Chin Foo writes better English than Denis Kear-
ney, and Denis understands 1t better. Gov. But
Ter is spoken of as one of class who can find nc
pleasure in doing thing unless he can do 1t his
own way. 1.-The Lily visits her Jersey home alone
She feared Freddy would wake up Mr.. Langtry
who was sleeping quietly when she left
John" said a farmer to an old negro, ''If
you don't return the plow that you stole from me-
, I'll have you arrested and sent to jail" "Boss,
! yer must be outer yer head" 'cSo, I'm not. You
thought that you were very sharp, but / have
caught up with you. Bring that plow home. u
Boss, I insists that yer mus be wrong in yet
mine" "All right; have it your own way, bu
: I'll take immediate action, for / know very well
= tnhI you slOle my pow 'DlunI 90 IL. NOW
, what sorter plow did steal, sah?" plow with
!, blue stock" "Will you swear to 1t, sah?" Eyes
will" "Well de plow what l stole from yer Il
got yaller stock. Jes go an hab me arrested fol
stealin an I'll hab yersef rested for swarm ter
lie. Talk ter me bout de hones'ness OBJ whit
man - Traveller.
boy" said an excursonist to bootblacl
at the postofiice yesterday, "are there any sight
worth seeing near here?" mot this afternoon
u as ] kin think on" was the reply. "but 20,
Il missed an awful big thing this forenoon" "Wha