National Republican., 1883-03-31

ny uounod, takes the cake.
WIrH the first act of "Daisy Miller" in the
current ARonhc, Henry James, IT,, has settled 1t.
inc gentleman is not a dramatst.
PHILADELPHIA Progress is as much agi-
tated about the ctymology of noodles us though
the question had vital personal interest.
DUKEs's neighbors have given him twenty
four hours to leave the town. Why not extend
tno same privilege to the jury-Rochester Post
Express.
Con CERT talk First young lady-"Hays
you read all the Seaside novels?" Second yonpg
lady-"Mercy. no have you" mo, but I'm
going to- Sweet girl.
! II Colorado Tabor likes public life. and
wants to continue in it, ho should become dem.
ocrat. Ten million dollars is the kind of states
I manship that the democracy would never let 90
of-Rochesier Post Express.
VISITOR in the country seeing q very old
peasant woman doing ut her cottage door asks n
llttle boy OF six or seven, who happened to be
playing near by, how old she is.
81 can't say, sir" replies the child, politely
"out she must be very old. She has been here
ever since can remember"
| DUKES of Pennsylvania, has at last como
to realizing sense of his infamy. "AIy whole
liie," he says, "is blasted. / can except nothing
now but shame; and, If so, why not remain in
Fayetto county? It's as good a place TO die as anv
other" But the trouble is that Fayette county
jury didn't let him die in the most fitting fashion.
ETHE London papers think it worthy of
note that on the occasion of the recent explosion
! the Duke OF Edinburgh asked Sir Henry Fletcher
who was sitting near him, what had occurred
| Wonderful intellect has the duke. Most fortunate
man, Sir Henry. whose reply, although not
| printed, was undoubtedly that he didn't know
Boston Herald.
| The Rochester Democrat thus outlines q
little scene In the waiting of the Central rail-
way station in that city early on Tuesday after
noon: Where Is the train for Buffalo ?" anxi-
ously inquired u lady of the telegraph operator.
"There it Is ON the first track" was the reply II
do not mean that train, but the one that leaves to-
morrow morning at o'clock.
BACHELOR and spinster who had been
| schoolmates In youth and were about the same
| age met in after years, and the lady CHANGING 10
| remark that "men live great deal faster taan
women" the bachelor replied; Eyes Maria; the
last time we met we were each "a years old; now
Pm over forty, and l hear you haven't reached
thirty yet" They never met again
THE people who read and like to keep
abreast of the times may as we'll begin to inform
themselves about India. There Is fermentation
going on in that vast empire that will breed dire
ful trouble ere long Absolute despotism in India
is only tempered by official stupidity and that
simply makes matters worse. John Bright, in
recent address, significantly remarked that India
was to be England's great problem.
IT is asserted that Oscar Wilde is now in
Arabia, and the other day, while asleep and
snoring on the desert, an ostrich came up and
laid an egg in his mouth. The egg infected by
! the surroundings, became added before Oscar
woke up, and on returning TO consciousness he
was compelled to accept the foreign presence as
II concrete testimonial Of Americas opinion of him
as man and lecturer.-Lolce2 CUsen.
The men engaged in demolshing the
ruined Tnileres in Paris find that much of the
stately architecture of that building is nero out
side show. The whole structure was built In a
| very shabby manner The handsome columns in
| the INTERIOR which were thought to be solid arc
| found mere rough blocks covered with mouldings
| The Tuileres like the Bonaparte regime, with
which it was so closely connected, was largely
| sham,
FREDERICK NICHOLS CROUCH, the COM
poser of Kathleen Mavourneen," tells how the
song was written. The words had been sent from
London by Mrs. Crawford. The melody ca Q to
him as lie was riding along the bauAs OF the
| Tamar, in West England. al was so infatuated
with 1t that sang the song to large audiences in
the Plymouth assembly rooms, and within week
| 1t began to spread Thus was my offspring begot-
| ten, and so became the child of tho world"
A PHILADELPHIA young lady went west on
q visit. Her family resided but half square
| from thcater. Mama and papa dropped in to
| hear the opera one night, and there was Made
moisclle frskying about MS one of the chorus girls
in patience" She had been on the stage of the
theatol nearly next door TO them for Il couple of
weeks and more, and they had had no notion of
| II, Mademoiselle was taken home and there was
n storm. But the sun shines again, and Made.
moiselle remains in the profession.
| AN old man in Milwaukee wishing to in
duce young married woman to elope with him
made use of the following arguments "My dear
child" said he to her. "if you 70 with me you and
your children shall have plenty while live, and
when get too old will get you young man.
| We will start store, and will get you a sewing
machine During the summer can earn eighteen
shillings day as mason, and when get too old
l will be a father to YOU" But the heartess
woman was not moved by these strong induce.
ments,
NEW compound has been produced called
panclastite, compared with which dynamite
| would be safe material for base balls. 1t con-
| sists of hypOazotic acid, mixed with essence of
petroleum, or sulphuret of carbon, and pound
oft will blow hole in the sky, 1t is reported
that when Herr Most, than whom braver man
never lived, first heard of this invent on he
| turned ghastly pale, aud would have fallen over
| the free lunch counter had not n Russian Mill
| list who was standing near invited him to take a
drink.-Roehestcr Post Express.
| Most of our readers have heard Of if they
| have not seen, the gifted colored person who re-
ceives gentlemens hats at the dining room door of
certain large hotelsin Saratoga and New York. The
unerring correctness with which the man hands
two hundred guests their own hats upon coming out
never fails to excite admiring comment from
those who witness 1t for the first time. We hear
of young gentleman Of this city who was so i'm
pressed with the performance at a New York
hotel the other day that In a tone Of respectful
admiration he asked the phenomenon how he
| knew II was his hat. "Well, sah," was the brisk
response, ~ couldn't swar dat de hat was yourn,
sah. 1 only knows II was de hat you guy me-"
The bystanders smiled and the youthful Bufia-
loniau stopped the investigation right there
Buffalo Commercial
j. II. RAYMOND, during his engagement an
the Walnut, dropped in as he always does, to pay
his respects to Progress (rhis, by the way, is
the welcome habit Of most Of the stars Of the the
ater) lie had been to the mint to look at their
collection OF coins, Ofold and curious coins Ray.
mond has q valuable collection, and he has iara
pieces OF which the mint has no specimens. Inc
collection Of coins is Raymond's uubby, EVENT.
a coin be new II win not decline It, "of courss
! you have neverbeen TO the mint" he said III
have, have forgotten it," answered "That IA
us it always is We postpone seeing what we can
see ut any time, and we end by not seeing It at ALL
/ telling nj GufrJ Of ne yYa,,. ,,,t.,