National Republican., 1883-12-17
THE MAN on THE AVENUE.
snnil rnlh Almond MON nnd rrensnr.


He was au able newspaper man, and had
! just negotiated with his tailor for an over
coat. The garment was built on the latest
model, and in finish and material was one to
make glad the wearer's heart As its owner
| posed in the rotunda at Willards there were
many Of the boys who envied him and sighed
for such wrap, the dainty black satin lining
of which made IL, as Washington landladios
say of the apartments they desire TO rent,
| suitable for q senator or momber
of congress-" The journalist had filed
good night" aud feeling that his tired
brain needed relaxation, he Joined SOW
oral Of his brethren in the billiard
room for bout at pool. Tho new coat was
doffed and carefully hung up, and tho game
proceeded with varying fortunes until at last,
q few minutes before midnight, the scribe
was playing six games and several rounds
of drinks with the best cue In the party. He
had pockotcd sevon balls, had dead shot for
the next and paused q moment to chalk up.
AS ho slowly fddlcd his cue over his thumb
to prolong the agony Of his opponent he hap
! pened to raise his eyes and glanced toward
the hook where his ovcrcoat hung. He made
q scratch and uttered moan of anguish as
the cue fell from his nervoless hand,
| GOOD God man, what's tho mattorT
| calculated his friend. In q monotone that
was favored with 80 per cent of anguish he
| answered, MY coat is gone. 1t has been
stolen" The gamo closed abruptly, and
general search was made, but thero was no
trace of tho missing garment. The aid Of n
detective was sought, and finally the group
separated after visiting the bar and purchas-
ing a ffteen-cont raglan to protect the be-
reaved one from the chill night and enable
him to bear up under his loss.
The next morning western senator
strolled into the hotel and said to the clerk,
"See here, / got somebody's ovorcoat here
last night by mistake" and handed over tho
lost garment to the artist of the eight carat
solitaire. 1t was restored to the grief stricken
scribe who, in tho fulness of his heart, "set
em up liberally.".
The detective is still working up theory
to fit the case.
"What in the thunder ia Dick Townsend
thinking about~ said legislator from the
boundless Yves. last night, when asked what
he thought of tho proposition to do away
with tho desks in the house of representa-
tivos. ,.lbi.a.
"Why, I can't get along without mine, and
1 don't think anybody will favor such prop
osition. What would Kelley and Hewitt do
when they wanted to talk to us about "fee.
nance" or tho "tnreef?" We'd have
to bring in q table for 'em to pile up
books and manuscripts on or they couldn't
get started at all. Thon again, what would
two of them fellows on tho democratic side
do with their weeds? Where could we dis
play our bookaysS and last, but not least,
whoro tho Halifax could IL man keep that
part of his correspondence that he don't
want to take 70 his hotel and have his wife
and daughters look over? No. sir; you bet
the desks won't CO."
4es
Washington has small army Of news
boys" said the benevolent gentleman "Some
of them arc curbstone waits, who never had
no father nor no mother, neither as one of
them expressed it, while others bear their
share of the burdens, aud aid with their
pennies the meager earnings of many an hum
bio household. At this joyous season, when
| 1t appears to be fashionable to remember the
4 deserving poor, let not these be forgotten.
Some of those ragged jackets may cover fu-
ture presidents, senators, and cabinet minis
| ters."
~
The title "Duko of Dudes" which Repre-
sentative Finerty gives Minister Lowell,
causes much amusement among tho members
| of both houses, many of whom do not hesitate
to characterize his ambition to be tho lord
rector of University OF Edinburgh rs piece
of snobbery that entities him to a peremptory
recall, at least to the full knowledge of his
duties as the representative of the United
States at a foreign court.
@#@
"some people," said the ex-governor of
Maryland, Thought that Bob Ingersoll WAS
crazy OF fool because he made such fuss
over the supreme court decision in the civil
rights case. That's where some people were
mistaken. Ingersoll knows that it is a
good thing for him to be delegate
to national republican conventions.
When he gave up his residence in
Illinois he tried to be delegate from his
district. Everything was properly arranged
to that end, when a black man got up in the
district convention of black men and asked,
Does Bob Ingersoll love jesus? 1t was
unanimously decided that he didn't, and they
said, Away with him., They didn't send
him to the national convention. By and by
the supreme court makes little decision,
and Ingersoll says that the parlor is none too
good for the black man. DO you think any
black man will inquire whether Ingersoll
loves Jesus next time? Not much. Inger-
soil will be delegate to the next convention
and will nominate Blaine or somebody, and
the whole American people will center in In
gersoll again for the time being"