Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-10-25

II you QOn Z near Cne Sermon, tlldu 10 SItty dG
home and read the papers and, oh Harry,
ly put me to sleep. And did tell you that
the Richs' are home from Europe, and Mrs.
Rich had real camel's hair shawl on, and
it didn't look like anything on her."
A long silence ensued, during which Har-
ry thought of good many things, and his
wife was busy contemplating the sky or
view, when she suddenly exclaimed:
"There! I knew I'd forgot to tell you
something. Would you believe it, Harry,
the fringe on Mrs. Jones' parasol is an inch
deeper than mine, and twice as heavy!
Oh! dear, what world of trouble this is"
Detroit Post and Tribune.
The Cooks ACCOMMODATING LOVER
When a certain family on the Brush farm
took new cook, last month, it was speciti-
cally stated and fully understood that she
was not to have any men hanging round the
kitchen. She held to the agreement for
three or four nights, and then the family
discovered that she had beau. He came
regularly every night after that, and a few
nights ago the Colonel was at the back gate
waiting for him. When the young man ap-
peared, the Colonel threw a whole iceberg
into his tones, as he inquired:
''Well, sir, did you come here to spark %
II did, was the calm reply.
''In love, are you?"
eyes, SIR"
"Who with"
"Sarah, the cook"
"Oh! I didn't know but you loved one OF
my daughters" sneered the Colonel.
1'No, don't at present." said the man, as
he seemed to catch sudden idea, "but the
thing hasn't gone so far with Sarah but
what 1 might break off, in case you had
something better up stairs for me-"
Sarah doesn't work there any more, but
the Colonel won't get over being mad for
several weeks yet.-DetroH Free Press.
A CHILD's NORTON ABOUT THUNDER.-
1t is seldom that any but distant rumbles of
thunder are heard in any part OF Nevada.
The sharp, rattling peals that rent the air
yesterday, were, therefore, something new
and astonishing to most of the youngsters of
the city. While some rushed for their
homes, with eyes distended and hair flying,
others darted forth into the open air, and
"busted." One bright little fellow, who
was out on a porch watching the descending
hail, as it ratified on the fences and bounced
upon the ground, when the first heavy crash
came, rushed indoors, crying:
80, ma, ma! Who's a-shooting?"
'God, my DEAR" quietly said the mother.
"What did He do it for"'
"Well, I presume to show us that He is
abroad in the storm-that He is every
where"
"Well," cried the little fellow, with eyes
fairly popping from his head, I'll bet"
"What, my dear?"
"I'll bet He busted His gun that time"
Virginia city Enterprise.
MATURE REFLECTIoN.--"My darling,
have you thought of the happy summer that
our lives will be when we are Joined for
better or for wOrse?"
ooh! YES. John, I've thought of it,
"And have you thought of the bright
home that we will build on the foundation
of our affections, and which will be painted
with the dying flashes of the sun, and fur
nished with the silver and gold that makes
the night Of the heavens beautiful ~
ooh! yes, John, I've thought of it."
'Have you thought of the years that will
come to us across the sea OF Time, white
capped, but blue with promises of years to
Gomez"
"sure's you're born, John, Pve thought
of it,"
"And have you thought-have you-have
you thought"
80, yes, John, more than all the rest; and,
John, let's name it after you."-Bro0kty,e
Eagle.
Bs% A Tombs lawyer had been endeavor
ing all the week to get his client out of du-
rance vile.
He walked into the tombs, and sent for
his client. His face was smiling as the his
torical basket of chips.
''It's all right ~ said the lawyer, grasping
his clients hand.
eyes" calculated the client, Frightening
up.
"Yes. Everything is fixed"
"How?''
81 can get you out on habeas corpus"
And then the clients face heightened as
he replied:
"Can't be done. Wouldn't dare to try it,
NV cell's on the third tier, and the burned
thing might break" ."-N. Y. World.
THE LovE-SIcK PARsoN.-"Oh! !" said
Daisy to her mamma, 81 was in the parlor
last night, behind the sofa, when the preach
set up so close for nothing; and the preach
er said, Katie, dear, luv ycu,' an Kate
said, 90, oo,' an then the preacher kissed
her right smack in the mouth, an said,
Dear Kate, how good the Lord is to us poor
sinners;' and Kate said, 800, 90; an then
an them
"Well," said her mamma, ''you wicked
child, you wicked child, what did you do?"
"Why, mamma, I felt SC. good l blurted
IlSllG OuU, lLCG pay, anu Soo ouSho w
have seen 'em jump"
Too LATE.-A New York broker who
reached village in Ohio, the other evening
was interviewed, soon after placing his name
on the register, by farmer, who said:
81 just wish you had arrived here this af-
ternoon!"
"Any eXcitement?" asked the broker.
"Well, should say so. My son Daniel
was convicted of stealing seven sheep, and
has been held to ahigher court. You ought
to have been here"
"Whyw
"Why, I'd have had you on the jury, and
you could have cleared Daniel as slick as
grease. Our folks here don't look at such
things as you New Workers do."-|PaU Street
NeaCs.
p~ Farmer Wurzle (meeting the curate's
wife, who is bee-keeper)-"No,m mum; I've
no call to find any fault wiz your bee.keepin',
but do wish as they 'oodu't light on my
clover. I found one O. my sheep stung in
his mouth this morning."
Curate's wife, naively-"And pray, Mr..
Wurzle, where would you look for its tongue
but in its mouth.-Judy.
paS 1t is told on Editor Maddox, of the
L Il