Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-05-10
4 READY BUYER.

It is the custom OF auctioners to interpret
a nod of the head or slight movement OF
the hand as a bid. Usually this method
works well, but sometimes it begets lu-
dicrOuS, mistake such one as the follow
ing incident shows:
An auctioneer, selling pictures IN an art
gallery, with the buyers seated before him,
called out:
"Gentlemen, here is fine painting by
Virgins, pupil of Gerome, foremost of
modern painters. Now, how much am l
offered to start this lovely painting? Don't
be bashful, gentlemen ; there's no sin in
starting bid. How much am offered?
"Ah, thank you! Ten dollars, Pm bid !!
Ten dolsmbid; going at ten dollars, who'll
give me fifteen? Fifteenth yer make it?
Gointendols, tendosmoffered ered-drearthetif-
teen? Fifteen, Pm offered; who'll gimme
twenty? Gointffteen dollars, s,-twenty'l yer
make it?"
Thus he went on, increasing his figures
until he could get no higher price. Then
the painting was struck off with, "Sold for
sixty-five dollars to the gentleman in the
corner"
Each picture was praised without stint.
"Gentlemen, this is one of the finest
paintings in the city-notan out about it
worth twice the money, easy! Why ! l.
sold canvas last week of half the size for
three times as much as Pm Offered-yeS,
for three times as much and cheap at that !!
"And Pm offered thirty dollars for this
elegant painting! Goint thirty dollars !;
thirty dolsmoffered-the five, do hear it"'
People were surprised at the large num-
ber "knocked down" to "the gentleman in
the corner" and at the high prices paid.
Many turned to see who he was, but none
seemed to know him.
There he sat, however, unmOved BY the
attention he attracted. In front OF him
were several ladies with large bonnets
which cut off his view Of the pictures, and
he was obliged to lean little on one side
in order to see them, which brought him in
view of the auctioneer, who could see the
nodding of his head:
At the close of the sale the auctiOneer
met the stranger and saw an old man
poorly dressed and shaking with the palsy:
"Fine lot of paintings you bought, sir"
said the bland salesman.
"Eh ?' inquired the old man, putting his
hand to his ear.
An awful thought struck the other, but
he answered calmly, in loud voice, "A
fine lot Of paintings, SIR
ooh! yes, yes; fine day. You see,
Pm a little hard of hearing and you'll have
to speak loud"
Mercy the man was deaf and hadn't
heard word that the auctiOneer had said !!
It was the palsy, and not he that had been
bidding, as his shaking head plainly
showed.
That auctioneer was mad. He tore
around the gallery as though he would de-
stroy every picture in it, and he talked
loud enough for the deaf man to hear him.
WHY A MAN CAN'T FLY.-No combina-
ton of wings will enable man to fly until
he can WELD them with as much muscular
power to the pound weight as a bird exerts
in flying. Ifa man had in his legs the mus
cular energy and leverage of flea he could
lump a mile in three leaps, and if his arms
had in proportion to his weight the driving
power of a wild pigeons he would have no
use for railways or balloons. The transpor-
tation problem would be solved. Moving
himself so easily and swiftly, he would not
need to move anything else. The alaba-
trcss, weighing twenty-eight pounds, can
keep it's Wings-thirteen feet from tip to
tip-in motion all day, while the strongest
man, weighing six to eight times as much,
even an alabatross' wings, in motion half
an hour. 1--WE have in the Bird" says the
Engineer, "a machine burning concentrated
fuel in a large CRATE at a tremendous rate,
and developing very large power in a
small space. There is no engine in exis-
tence, certainly no steam engine and boiler
combined, which, weight for, weight, gives
out anything like the mechanical power
exhibited by the alabatross." Consequent
ly, no machinery yet devised can operate
wings with sufficient power to sustain its
own weight in the air, and there is no
known machinery by which man can