The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1883-04-28
WHAT is A DUDE.
QUESTION IN NATURAL HISTORIC STU
DENTS OBSERVATIONS.

DENT OBSERVATIONS.
A dude is an animal with two legs; in
which respect he resembles goose, but
he has no feathers. Like the ape he has
arms and legs, but he differs again from
the ape in that lie has no toes; or, more
properly speaking he has but one toe for
each foot, his feet terminating anteriorly
IN long, narrow, cylindrical projection.
He has no backbone also, and is there
fore non-vertebrate.
These peculiarities have made it very
difficult for naturalists to classify him:
but lately the most learned scholars have
decided to regard him as the hitherto
missing link between man and the mon
key tribe, conclusion which finds CON
siderable support in the fact that certain
specimens of men have been found desti
tute of backbone.
His head is small and is poised inclin
ing little back from the centre of gray
ity, while his body inclines forward from
the hips, indicating that, at some remote
period in the progress of his development,
he used his hands in progression. His
elbows are projected laterally from his
body in walking; in which position, in
deed, they seem to be permanently anchy-
POSED. His hair is short and he never
has beard
He can be taught to articulate words,
but he appears to have very little con-
ception of the meaning of words as a
vehicle of thought or of ideas; and his
articulation is peculiar, being in most
examples seen by naturalists drawings,
stammering, and the words being fire.
quently interpolated with sound of no
seeming significance "Aw'-unless it
be interpreted as the involuntary sound
made by his imperfect vocal apparatus in
drawing his words to the top Of his
larnyx.
The dude appears to regard dress as
only supplement to his natural skin;
and he refuses to wear it unless it is
fitted so tight that he has to be drawn
into it by considerable force. On the other
hand, such are his caprices, he sometimes
affects the long hair and flowing robes
of Oscar Wilde. In such cases the ami
NAL always parts his hair in the middle.
1t has been found impossible to train
him TO any useful employment, unless it
be 10 carry a small stick in his hand
from place to place, which stick he in
variably holds by its middle; and to run
beside the ladies when they are promena-
ding. For this latter purpose several of
our most fashionable ladies say that they
prefer him to poodle.
1t will be necessary to say, in explana-
ton of the fact that he walks so nearly
erect, although he has no backbone, that
in the domesticated state he wears cor
set, and a very firm upright collar under
his chin.
We are pleased to learn. as will be also
our rural friends whose curiosity in this
regard may not yet have been gratified,
that Mr.. Barnum is about to import
live dude, for his great circus and mena-
serie, from England; where in one of the
royal forest parks, we believe, the animal
was first found. (Hence some have ig-
! norantly supposed that the name was
derived from "Duke," and that dude
was perhaps in some remote way connec
ted with the nobilty.) The truth is, the
name was discovered at the same time
the animal was, and its etymology is
wholly unknown.
To those who may wish TO see the
dude in Mr.. Barnum's Museum when it
arrives, we are permitted to say that he
is remarkably gentle and perfectly harm
less; as is sufficiently attested by his do
cility when taken out by the ladies in
our most crowded streets and avenues.
A STUDENT OF NATURAL HISTORY.