Morris tribune., 1883-02-01
OHIO CIDER.
The Mischief that SAUNDERS I'm the
Innocent Raisin.

| John Synder in st. Louis Post Dispatch.
II never knew" said the parson,
whether somebody played a trick on
the deacon or not. He, was a pretty
close-mouthed old fellow; rather proud
of his shrewdness and not apt to pub
Iish the fact if anybody got the better of
him in a trade"
but this wasn't trade, was it?" asked
one of the trustees. E.. yFe#43R
NO." responded the parson, with a
ghost of a twinkle in his right eye.
NO, it was a present the deacon got
from relatives of his ont west; out in
Central Ohio. They sent him a barrel
of splendid new cider"
Tell us about the trick. doctor"
well l don't know that it was a trick"
said the parson, dropping into a warm
| chair by the CRATE. But it was very
funny bit of experience the deacon had.
Fla! ha! These folks of his sent him this
cider and sent him letter saying that it
made the best bottled cider III the world
telling him that all he had to do was to
pour the cider into small bottles and
drop raisin into each bottle Just before
he fastened in the cork. Well, Hezekiah
followed the directions very carefully,
and piled the bottles in that little cellar
of his Just back of the furnace. Ofcourse
the cider went very slowly, as the dea-
cou's family is quite small. Besides, he
had notion that this cider, being extra
fine, ought TO be kept for company or
Christmas or mince pies, and what not.
So it was lying in the cellar two or three
months. One evening my wife and N.Y.
self dropped in to spend the evening
with the deacon. My wife said she
hat'n been there for five or six months,
and SO Mrs. Chace wouldn't be satisfied
with a mere formal call. Deacon was
delighted to see us-dear old feliow-he
just beamed with hospitality. Told his
wife to bring in some of her special COM
to open bottle of that splendid Ohio
cider. Well, demonstrated with him;
told him he had better keep the cider
for real company as we telt like mem
bers Ofthe family, you know. Fact is, |
thought the cider must be pretty hard
in spite of the raisins, and hard ci1er al
ways gives me little fit of Indigestion.
But Deacon wouldn't take any excuse
He was bound to open some ofthat Ohio
cider. So he brought out three bottles.
Ny wife was talking with Mrs. Chace
about calling on the new folks-the
BrOWns-that had just come into town
from Warren. Her face was turned
away from the deacon, who stood by the
table chatting with me and twisting the
wire off one of the Corks."
"Oh, yes," said the deacon. II knew
! no 1ov1,
Warren. The old man used to do bust
ness in Providence, and I-Julius Ca-
sar, what's that?" The cork flew out of
the bottle as if it had been shot out of a
gun, just skinning the end of the dea-
cons nose on its way to the ceiling. Ny
wife turned quickly as she heard the
deacon's quick exclamation, aid the
cider docking like churned soap suds)
caught her full. in the eyes. Being a
woman of great presence of mind as you
know, she jumped on her chair and began
to scream Fire. The rest of the ci-
der was playing like fountain over her
new silk dress, for the deacon was so
daZed that he stood holding out the
bottle at arms length. l suppose it was
sinful under the circumstances, but I
fell back on the sofa and laughed till I
cried, even if that silk dress was spoiled.
There wasn't a drop left in that bottle
when the fountain stopped playing. l
wish | could have had photograph of
the old deacon as he stood holding it
out at arms length. Ha! Ha! Hal" And
the parson laughed heartily at the recol-
lection.
"By this time," continued the ,parson ).
"the deacon's blood was up! No use to
say we didn't care for the cider Just be-
fore going to bed. Some of this cider
they must have. "The bottle" deacon
said, "was trifle lively, but he didn't
believe there was another one like that
in the whole lot.g But he grasPed the
other-bottle little more firmly, pressed
his humb on the cork and began to pry
off the wire Mrs. Chace was down on
her knees trying with a dry towel to
make the silk dress look a trihe more re-
spectacle, and noticed that my wife be.
gan to edge over into the corner and
wink her eyes as one does who expects
to hear cannon 90 off. Quick as a
flash deacon turned the neck of the bot
tie into glass as the cork few across
the room and stirred up the cat, and al
most every drop of that cider danced out
of the glass onto the -parlor tablecloth.
About two tablespoonfuls stayed in the
itulnbler. S Tr s
Hadn't L better get the umbrella,
aHezekiah, ifyouare going to open any
moreY said Mrs. Chace, in that patient,
meek way Of hers. without the slightest
flavor Of fun in her voice.
eyes" said deacon, with little trife
of irritation in his tone. Better have
the Salvage Corps come, hadn't YOU"
"AfterI had smoothed down my voice
ntotolerabie cUmposure. 1 suggested
that if the deacon was going to continue
the experiment he had better go into
the garden, where the irrepressiple
cider might gallop around in a less -ex-
pensive fashionl Deacon's wife began
to say that she thought the hired man
had better 60 along in case of accidents,
but quietly nudged her arm, and she
held her peace. Strange thing, isn't IT,
that the best wife in the world will often
rasp mans feelings more than his Bit
terest enemy can dol Well, deacon
went out alone with the cider. We
heard loud report which my wife said
she hoped wouldn't raise the neighbors,
and when he came back he had the glass
nearly half full of cider. The old man
looked flushed 1and unhappy, as IF he
had confded his private feelings to the
cider in more earnest manner than he
was accustomed to do with his pastor.
Il was actually aching to get out Into the
street where I could laugh it out. So
after tasting the mercurial liquid, and
pronouncing it superb. wife and / hur-
ried out of the houee.sKA
"When on Wednesday evening, after
prayer meeting. Deacon Hezekiah insist
ed that / should drop mas was going
home, and taste that cider"
but, Deacon" said, "the last time /
saw that cider it acted like evil spirits
unlocked. How did you manage to tame
it2p ! 3,.y3 III
"You stop in and see," responded
Hezakiah, with a mysterious twinkle in
his eye.
So l dropped in at the deacon's on
my way home. While 1 sat talking to
Sister Chace, the deacon left the room
but presently returned, attired as if he
intended to take trip in serf-boat.
" .2i7TuNl