Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-03-14
PLEASANTRIES,
The land O. Burns-Fire Island.

AlheTlcans al dlnner. huntington Free
Press.
The young botanist was not in love
with her teacher, but she took lichen
to him.
THE reason girls love to play billiards
is because there are SO many unexpected
kisses " in the game.
Two hogsheads make q butt. but it
takes only one goats head to do it,
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
TELL us how to save our forests
from the axi' demands correspondent.
Don't ax.-BotrJingtope Free Press.
HE only time in their lives when
some men really get at the core of any
thing is when they are eating apples.
A FLORIST in NewbHry blew his brains
out with q shotgun. a strange choice
when his shop was probably full of pis-
ills.
The poor fellow who drank himself
out of this world travelled frst-class.
He took saloon passage.-Teuas ,Sift-
ings.
AMERICAN hogs are not permitted to
enter Germany, but they can travel else
where on the continent. mobile Re0-
2ster.
HE kangaroo is generally on his last
legs; but he appears to get along all the
same, from year to year.-N. O. Plea
yu91e.
If Sahara Wearsa waist of glittering
Sand, there is probably long gravel
train sweeping after her. Yonkers Ga
Sette.
TIN hTfl 81 81,
this year will be on top. They have
been going up every season.-N. 0. Pic
G!yata1e.
A MISSOURI man, with an improving
nail, chopped his toe off, The remedy
never fails. For sale at all hardware
stores.
A MAN never loses much time in in
terviewing bee. He generally comes
right down to the point. Yonker8
Statesman.
6 | REALLY was puzzled what to do"
said our own Mrs. Ramsbotham. 81
was quite on the horns of duenna,' as
the saying is"
The electric light is pleasant to look
at, but perfectly shocking when the
wires are grabbed. -Ph5Zadell0Ia5a
Chronicle Herald.
THE readiness with which the foot of
the modern man taketh him to the club
would go far to prove that man is by ma
ture club-footed. Rome Sentinel.
The poet who declared that earth had
nothing softer than o woman's heart ev-
identity knew nothing of the head of the
dry goods clerk who came to see her,
chat.
THE tricycle. is gaining in popularity
daily. But while man is learning to
ride the two-wheeled kind it will of ne
cessity be his tricycle.. Pittsbwg Tel
egroph.
CORRESPONDENTS of a daily paper are
discussing the question, ''Can a man
marry on $40 week ?" He cannot if
the girl IS aware of the amount of his
income.
A CHICAGO lady was heard to remark
this morning, speaking of the close Of
| congress-: = No, Tabor Is no longer a
senator-he's paired with the woman
from Oshkosh.
A KENTUCKY millionaire recently died
and bequeathed all his fortune to his
family lawyer. The testator evidently
sion.-Co221. Id.
A DISPATCH from Cairo states that Bel
mont, Mo-, sis twenty miles under
water" and that the people have fled to
the bills. This speaks well for the height
of the hills PittS6Wrg Telegraph.
GENERAL Cook, of Georgia, went to
dog show in Washington the other
night. Sc It reminds me of congress. :"
he said, 6 because the little dogs make
all the fuss, and the hitler they are the
more fuss they make
The young lady who made 700 words
out of conservatory" last fall, has
eloped. We feel sorry for the young
man; it is bad enough where one word
brings ON another, but just think of one
word bringing on 7OO.-Er.
The head of the Magasy Embassy,
Mr.. Observation-Disclosures is expected
In Washington shortly. He will arrive
In one steamer, but his name had to be
coiled up IN the hold of another, like an
ocean cable. -P5tts6urg Telegraph.
A SPRINGFIELD Sunday-school boy
caused momentary sensation last week
because of his usual contribution:
"Here's my penny. Father hand't any,
and mother hadn't, and SO I took this
out of the yeast cup. was bound to
bring one, even if we had to go without
yeast. '-Gl0d TSd52aoS.
"DoN'T Forget to Write to Your
Mother, +" says poem in the Brock.
News. This is absurd. There is prob
ably not young man in the United
States who forgets to write to his moth
er. If there really is such young man
in this country, investigation would un-
doubleday show that the old lady has
neglected to send him as much money as
he wants. -Son1m1erViIIe Commercial.
Mr.. THOMAS BAILEY ALDRIcH was
walking down Bromfeld Street the other
day with a friend, who remarked, as
they passed by the new building at the
corner of Washington Street: ct don't
see what they can use that building for;
it's SO thin!'' GA good place to sell card
boardp' remarked Mr.. Aldrich. Boston
Herald.
For clear, bracing winter weather,
there is no climate equal to that of Mon