San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1883-06-21
Detroit Free Press.

stead of that it added to nay confus-
aon."
"You haven't written the fourteenth
verse YETI"
No, sir, as soon rs I get through
with wigeon I'll tackle the fourteenth.
Has your honor any suggestions to
make?"
"Yes. few. I think you had bet
er make that verse read:
| ~ was locked up in q cell,
| And my feelings none can tell
As stood before the Central Station Court;
Twas given sixty days,
| And 1t made me look three ways,
And my name the papers surely will report
"Sir, you can't mean it?"
"Oh! but do"
"Then I'm sent up?"
"Then you are"
Isn't poet any better than COM
mon plug of laborer?"
Not a bit. The law doesn't know
a poet from black-leg. Please fall
back into mournful cadence"
II brand it as an outrage, sir a
national ouArage!" exclaimed Hiram
as he made his bow of departure.
"The world shall hear of it, sir-In
write poem of one hundred verses
about it."
"Biiah thought it would be more
mereiful to the public to let him go
if he had such intentions, but his
Honor replied that he could devour
all the poems placed before him, and
would not knock off single day of
the sentence.
DOING THE FAIR THING.
Sidney Armstrong Johnson was a
fat man with ford face, a blonde
wig, prominent ears, a plentiful
sprinkling of freckles, and one could
see at a glance that he was real sorry.
well, Sidney?" queried the court,
wall, Squar', it is no use denying it
I was in a bamboozled condishun.
What's what is what, and I'd be a
fule to deny it.
"Then you were drunk?""
Kinder drunk. I wanted two side
walks to get along on, and yet when I
run against woman and she called
me a brute, I knew she spelt it with
a big B. was drunk, your Honor,
and yet I was conscious of what was
going on around me"
But you lay down on the side
walk"
wall, I was tuckered out, you
see."
Prisoner, what is your business in
this cold world"
IL am a-selling a new kind of
clothes wringer, Squar'-an instru-
ment that peels the socks clean off
any other tool invented by mortal n.y.
ena. It will wiring the roof off a
horse barn stone-dry in five minutes
and never rip button"
"Will it wiring the whisky out of
chap of your size?"
Say, Squar', don't be too hard on
man who has either corns or tooth
ache all his life. I'll tell you what 1
will do. If you will let up on me 1
will give you an agency on this wiring
er for the City of Detroit. You can
make more clear cash on it in three
months than you can to sit up thar
on that bench for a hull year.
IF let you go will you keep So
Der during your stay in the City,"
IF don't do it, you can call me
hoss-thief! Keep sober! Why,
Squar', I'll keep so sober that a hard
frost will follow in my tracks. This
ere is my first drunk fur forty-eight
years, and l feel as silly as a boy
caught hooking green plums."
well, 1 will suspend sentence this
time, but don't you appear here
again"
"Neverl Squar'- Now 1
want to do the fair thing BY you.
want you to take the agency of the
boss wnnger of the world. She will
wing any thing on earth, from a
needle to hay-stack. She's up before
day, and she sits up until the hired
girl has gone to bed. Squar, you"
Never mind any further talk, Mr..
Johnson; you can CO.
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