The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-03-09
"A LITTLE NONSENSE. y

An indianapolis man broke two ribs
while making boss blow on lung
tester the other day. What blessing
for Indiana that he never took to oratory.
Detroit Free Press.
"A precise father: He did not object
to his daughter joining musical society,
but gently insisted that authorizations
were eoarse-"Philip Harmonic sounds
much more gently, my dear. -Providence
Press.
The indifference which reaches sub
Unity was exhibited by the prisoner on
trial for murder in Connecticut, who fell
asleep in the courtroom. - Yonkers Ga
1ette. It was indeed an nod spectacle. -
n. 7. Nea0s.
"A Lewiston young lady who went
into store to buy pair Of gloves for
her young man couldn't remember what
the size of his hand was. She knew,
however, that he wore a AZ collar, if the
clerk could tell anything by that
american Queen.
"A band of Indians from the far
West recently visited New Haven, and
when they heard the Yale BOYS veil
they drew apart and wept to think how
they had been fooling themselves for years
with the idea that they knew how to
howl.-Boston Post
"A darkey who had been owing one
of our mercantile firms for long time
stepped into the store and said: "Boss,
hears you is gwine to give folks what owes
you 'lowance." eyes, sir; how much
do you want to pay" Don't wants ter
pay muffin, boss; come to git de 'lowance
my wife wants a shawlp' Hartaoeg
{ Ga San af
"A supposed panther, which had been
roaming over good share of Connecticut
and Massachusetts, for three months, was
trapped the other night and proved to be
a dog without grit enough to show his
teeth at man with club. And the
young men who have been staying home
o'nights, remember now that the animal
was generally seen by the fathers of
daughters. Boston Post
The grandma,of little four-year-old
had been telling. her one day not to say
people lied, but rather that they were
mistaken. Her grandmother, to amuse
her, told her a bear story, which was
tough one to believe. After she had fin
ished, the little girl looked up into her
face and exclaimed: Grandma, that is
the biggest mistake have ever heard. -
San Francisco Newsletter.
You see. grandma, We perforate an
aperture in the apex and corresponding
aperture in the base, and by applying the
egg to the lips and forcibly inhaling the
breath, the shell is entirely discharged of
its contents" s'Dear me, (" exclaimed the
old lady, "what wonderful improvements
they do make. Now, in my younger
days. they just made hole in each end
and sucked. - Chicago Herald.
-Lounging through the corridors of
the State capitol one day was an old
farmer, to whom came female suffrage
canvasser with a petition, and politely
asked him if he would sign it. He eyed
the document suspiciously awhile, and
then asked: "What is it?'' "a petition
in favor of the woman's movement she
responded, in her most insinuating tone
of voice. "Then I'm agin it, said the
agriculturist, with the emphasis of a man
who had some domestic infelicity. "a
woman who's allus movin' is allus ret
tin in trouble. If you've got anythinckl
to keep her sot I'll sign t."-Brooklyn
Eagle.
John Randolph was once considered
the Thersites Of Congress- regular
tongue stabber. No hyperbole of con-
tempt or scorn could be launched against
him but he would overtop it with some
thing more scornful and contemptuous.
Opposition only maddened him into bril-
liant bitterness "Isn't it shame. Mr..
President said heone day in the Senate.
"that the noble bulldogs Of the admins
tration should be wasting their precious
time in worrying the rats Of the opposi-
ton" Immediately the Senate was in
an uproar, and he was clamorously called
to order. The presiding officer, however,
sustained him, and. pointing his long,
skinny fingers at his opponents, Randolph
screamed out: Rats, did say? Mice.
mice. -" Chicago Herald
Luck is the result of good iudomAnl