The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-01-26
The Bad Boy as a Drug Clerk.

The Bad Boy as Drug Clerk.
Said the grocery man. as he went up to
the boy. snuffed q couple of times, and
then held his hand to his nose: "The
Board of Health win kerosene you, il
they ever smell that smell. and send you
to the glue factory. What business
you gone into. makes you smell SO
rank?""
"Well, you see pa began to think il
was time learned 8 trade or profess
sion. and he saw sign in drugstore
window, boy wanted, and as he had a
boy he didn't want, he went to the
druggist and got a job for me. This
smell on me will go of in q few weeks.
You know / wanted to try all the per-
fumery in the store, and after had got
about forty different extracts on my
clothes, another boy that worked there
he fixed up bottle of benzine. and
assafety. and birthstone, and a whole lot
of other horrid stuff. and labeled it rose
geranium,' and / guess just wallsred
in it. 1t is awful, amt itp 1t kerAum-
mixed ma when went into the dining
room the first night that l got home
from the store, and broke pa all up.
The air seems fixed around where am,
and everybody seems to know who fixed
it, A girl came in the store yesterday
to buy sachet, and there wasn't any
body there but me. and didn't know
/ what it was, and l took down every
thing in the store pretty near, before l
found it. and then wouldn't have found
it. only the proprietor came in. The girl
asked the proprietor if there wasn't a
good deal of sewer-gas in the store, and
he told me to 60 out and shake myself.
Well, she told me sachet was some
thing for the stummick, and l thought q
nursing bottle was the nearest thing to
it."
II should think you would drive all
the customers away from the store"
said the grocery man. as he opened the
door to let the fresh airin.
Il don't know but will, but am
hired for month on trial, and shall
stay. You see, shan't practice on any,
body but pa for spell. / made up my
mind to that when 1gave awoman some
salts instead of powdered borax, and she
came back mad. Pa seemed to want to
encourage me, and is willing to take
anything ask him to. He had sore
throat and wanted something for it, and
the boss drugger told me to put some tan
min and chlorate of potash in mortar
and grind it, and 1 let pa pound it with the
mortar, and while he was pounding I
dropped in couple of drops Of sulphuric
acid, and it exploded and bowed pas
hat clear across the store, and pa was
winter than sheet. He said he guessed
his throat was all right, and he wouldn't
come near me that day. The next day
pa came in and / was laying for him. I
took white seidletz powder and blue
one and dissolved them in separate
glasses, and when pa came in asked
him if he didn't want some lemonade,
and he said he did, and l gave him the
sour one and he drank it. He said it
was too sour, and then gave him the
other glas, that looked like water, to take
the taste. out of his mouth, and he
drank it. Well, sir, when those
two powders got together in pas
stomach and began to siz and steam
and foam, pa pretty near checked
to death, and the suds came out of his
nostrils, and his eyes stuck out, and as
soon as he could get breath he yelled
{" fire." and said he was poisoned, and
called for doctor, but thought as long
as we had doctor right in the family
there was no use of hiring one, so got
a stomach pump, and 1 would had him
bailed out in no time, only the proprie-
tor came in and told me 10 90 and wash
some bottles, and he gave pa drink of
brandy, and pa said he felt better. Pa
has learned where we keep the liquor,
and he comes in two or three times a day
with pain in his stomach. They play
awful mean tricks on a boy in a drug
store. The first day they put chunk of
something sort of blue into a mortar,
and told me to pulverize it. and then
make it up into two gram pills. Well.
sir, pounded that chunk all the fore
noon, and it never pulverized at all, and
the boss told me to hurry up, as the
woman was waiting for the pills, and !
mauled it till was nearly dead, and
when it was time to 90 to supper the
boss came and said: you have been
pounding all day on chunk of India
rubber instead of blue massr Well, how
did l know? But will get even with
them if l stay long enough, and don't
you forget it. If you have a prescription
you want filled you come down to the
store and 1 will put it up for you myself
and then you will be sure to get what
you pay for" '...'.t a..
Yes said the grocery man. as he
cut off piece of limberg cheese and put
it on the stove, to purify the air in the
room, q should laugh to see myself
taking any medicine you put up