Morning journal and courier., 1883-11-20
LOVELY.

'.Dolly, sald AreSnuSa Ndont you think that cord and ball on that lady's dress is just tits magnificent; it's grand. It makes her look 50 much like curtain fixture, yer know.'-Boston Transcript.
 Look a heah, sah, '" indignantly exclaimed 8 colored gentleman, s'does yer mean ter cali me a thief?" "Dat's what I means" " ''An' why, sab? 'Splain yersef, UT take de rough consequence. Case I seed yer when yer stole a coat" 'Wall dat is all right, but ef yer hadn'ter seen me I'd er whipped yer, sho'. Better be pertio lar how yer fools wid me, man, ease I comes from proud family" -Arkansaw Traveller.
 Harvard student to Matthew Arnold-''We l take great pride in our English ancestry, Mir. Arnold" MT. Arnold-''You ought to; there's no better stockn Harvard student But am glad the men of English blood are not so numerous in this country as they are in England" MT. Arnold (somewhat con- fusedly y)-''Why ?" Harvard student-"Be- cause the saving virtues, you know, abide with the minority. ty."-Brookyn Eagle. A gentleman about preparing dictionary of authors called upon certain lady to furn- ish the year of her birth, who seut him the following:
 You'll think me fool of a woman, III wage, But why. for the public, should lift the curtain. To reveal what had better reuain stiu uncertain 4A1S CAAlSu 1OEtA Q SS1t1SLAdAly HVSpOA6o, to wit:
 sstesn you a woman of wisdom most sage, To hsaitste thus ere revealing your hg-; But since wisdom the sagest m.y make 4 mistake And because overcAuticus miss "takingEthe cake" venture herewith to Aaake this suggestion, That instead of thus tinidly besginG the question Ysu no longer conceal whateer aze you may be q axes your pardon for being 20 free).
 For until the dear pubic kaows how old you are not, It may blindly pile on you more years than you've got. Parson Whangdoodls Baxter noticed at the last prayer meeting in the Austin Blus-Light Tabernacle that Gabe Snodgrass, who was working his lips like the rollers of Q patent clothes-wringer as he read his Bible, actually had the book upside down. "Why, Gabe, you are reading de sacred book upside down. How am dat possible?" ''Dat am so for fac, Parson. You see. Parson, dis heah Bi- bIs b'longs to my wife. and don't know how to handle it yet. Elf jess had my own Bible heah wid me, dat has done got de hang ob, nebber would hab made that mis- take. .''-Texas Siftinss.
 .Ne, "said the suburban, q didn't take eay money. The president of the company admitted my claim to land damages, aRd when asked for $50s he said he would do better than that by me. There was nothing small about him, he said. And then he of fered me ten shares of his road, par $40O I thought had got mighty good price for my land. I have changed my mind somewhat sincs then-but let that pass. The road has got my land, and have got the stock; but az the concern was seized by the bondholders six months ago, don't brag about my bar- gaia so much as I used to. It isn't good taste, you know, to be always talking about your own affairs. '-Boston Transcript
 GTAN' YER GRoUN. Elf we don't want ter git in trouble,
 Breth'rin mus watch dc p'nts
 Mus'n let de dsbbii bsn' us double
 Break ou' backs sn' crack ou' j'nts
 He sho will gio mighty shakiui,
 Once he git us in his han;
 He make us smoke like hoeeak0 bakin.- Mash us hat ez fryin' pan.
 De way ter de-mus' buck agin him Trip him ev'ry way kin; Mus sho' him dat we don't blIebe in him, Neider in his ceitful grin. We'll drap right down an' go ter prayin' Hard B kin befor' his face
 Yea, plsa1 in yearnes'-don't be p.aJin, 'sid'rin hits err portant cssc
 In dat way, honey, we'll discus him, Git him mixed up, shu's yer bon; An whom he fln' dat won't trus' him
 Blsss deIIawd, he's up an Gone!> -Texas siftings.