Sacramento daily record-union., 1883-10-31
pEoK's BAD BOY AND HIS FATHER.
The Poy Runs a Funeral and Shows he Is
Not as Mean as Folks Think He Is.

boy, as he stood up behind the stove to get
warm, and he looked as though life was not
one continued picnic as heretofore. whats
the matter with you Your father has not
been tampering with you with boot, has
he!"
"No, sir, said the boy, as he frightened
up. "Pa and me are good friends now.
He saws he has discovered that my heart Is
in the right place, and that | am going to
amount to something, and he has forgiven
every foolish thing ever did to him, and
SAYS for me to come to him any time when
l want advice or money to do good with.
Why, when pa found that l had pawned
my watch to get money to BUY medicine
for the old woman, he went and redeemed
it, and offered to whip the pawnbroker for
charging me too much for the money. 0,
pa is darling now. He went to the fu-
neral with US.
What funeral ?" said the grocery man,
with look of surprise. "You crazy? l
haven't heard of any funeral at your house.
Don't you come no joke on me-.
go, there is no joke about it, said the
boy. "You see, the little apple girls
grandma lost her grip on this earth soon
after she got the medicine and the doctor,
and died. l was down there, and it was
the solemnest scene 1 ever witnessed.
looked around, and see that somebody had
got to act, and braced up and told the
girl was all wool, yard wide, and for
her to Just let me run things. She was 60.
ing to the poormaster and have the city
bury the lady, but couldn't bear to see
that little girl play solitaire as mourner
do bar
mains, and not have any minister, and go
to the pauper burying-ground where they
don't say grace over the coffin, but two
shovelers smoke black pipes and shovel the
earth in too quick, and talk Bohemian all
the time. 1t didn't seem right for a poor
little girl that never committed crime,
except to be poor and sell wormy apples, to
have no style about her grandma's funeral,
so l told her to brace up and wipe her eyes
on my handkerchief, and wait for Hen.
merry. Well, sir, didn't know as l had
so much gall. You have got to be put in
tight place before you know the kind of
baled hay there is in you. l rushed out
and found motherly old lady that used to
do our washing, and give me bread and
butter and brown sugar on it when went
after the clothes. l knew a woman that
would give bad boy bread and butter
with brown sugar on it, and cut the slices
thick, had a warm heart, and l got her to
go down the alley and stay with the little
girl, and be sort of mother to her for
couple of days. Then l got my bicy Gle
and took it down to the pawn-shop and got
$50 on it, and with that money in my
pocket l felt as though l owned a brewery,
and l went to a feller that runs an excur.
sion hearse and told him wanted hearse
and one good carriage at o'clock sharp,
and the mourners would be ready. He
thought l was fooling but 1 showed my
roll OF bills and that settled him. He
would have turned out six horses for me
when he see had the wealth to put up. l
went down and told the little girl how
had arranged things, and she said she
wasn't fixed for no such turnout as that.
She hadn't any clothes, and the toes of one
foot were all out of the shoe, and the heel
was off the other one, so she walked sort of
adlic like. I told her not to borrow any
trouble, and 1 would rig her out SO she
would do credit to regular avenue fu-
neral, with plumes on the hearse, and
went home and hunted through the closets
and I got lot of clothes ma wore years
ago, when my little brother died. and a
pair of her shoes, and long vail and ev-
erything complete. l was going to Jump
over the back fence with the bundle when
pa got sight of me and called ME back.
felt guilty, and didn't want to explain, and
pa opened the bundle and when he saw the
mourning clothes that he had not seen be-
fore since we buried our little baby, great
tears came to pas eyes and he broke down
and wept like child, and it made me
weaken some, too. Then pa wanted to
know what it all meant, why l was steal
ing them clothes out the back way and l
see that little girl through her trouble,
and had taken the black clothes cause l
thought pa would go back on it and tell me
to let people run their own funerals. ex-
pected that pa would thump me, but he
said he would go his bottom dollar on me,
and, do you know, the old daisy went with
me to the house, and patted the little girl
on the head, and said for her to keep stiff
upper lip, and when the funeral came off pa
and three other old buffers that are pas
chums, they acted as bearers. l had tried
a couple of ministers to get them to 90
along and say grace, but guess they
couldn't see any money or glory in it, for
they turned me away with soft answer,
and l had about closed a contract with
sort of amateur preacher that goes around
to country school-houses preaching for his
board, but pa he kicked on that, and said
we should have the best there was, and he
sent word to our minister that he had got
use for him, and he was on deck, and did
his duty just as well as though million
aire was dead. Well, l rode with the little
girl as an assistant mourner, and tried to
keep her from crying, but when we passed
the House of Correction, where her father
is working out sentence for being drunk
and disorderly, she broke down, and told
her would be her father and mother, and
grandmother, and the whole family, and
she put her hand on mine and said how
good l was, and that broke me up, and 1
had to beller don't want to be called
good. If people will keep on considering
me bad, and let me do what good 1 want
to on the sly, it is all right. Bat when she
put that little hand on mine, and it was 30
clean and Pump, something went all over
me, like when you step on carpet tack,
or hit your funny bone against gas
bracket, and l felt as though | would stay
by that girl till she got big enough to wear
long dresses. Everything passed off splen.
did, and as pauper funeral passed us on
the road, the driver smoking clay pipe,
and the coffin jumping around, couldn't
help noticing the difference, and l was
proud that had pawned my bicycle and
got up funeral that no person need be
ashamed of, and when l arranged with the
washwoman to take the girl home with her
and be her mother till l could make differ
ent arrangements, felt what great re-
sponsihility rests on a family boy, and
when dismissed the hearse and carriages,
and went home, and pa took me in his
arms and said he wouldn't take million
dollars for me, and that this days expert
ence had shown him that was worth my
weight in solid gold, and that he had
stopped at the pawn-shop and got my
watch and bicycle, never felt so happy in
my life. Say, don't you think there is