Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-06-16
THE MAN WHO INTERRUPTS.
Hill Nye DiscOurseth Upon One Form
Of the SOctety Nuisance.

do not, as rule, thirst for the blood of my
fellow-man, observed Bill Nys. am willing
that the law should, in all ordinary cases, take
Its course, but, when we begin to discuss, the
man who breaks into q conversation and ruins
it with his own Irrelevant Ideas, regardless Of
the feeling Of humanity, I am not Q law and
order man. The spirit OF the "Red Vigilanter''
is reused in my breast, and hunger for the
blood Of that man.
Interrupters are Of two Glasses: First. the
common plug who thinks aloud and whose con-
versation wanders with his sO-called mind He
breaks into the saddest and sweetest of senti-
ments and the choicest and most fearful Of
pathos with the remOrseless ignorance that
marks stump-tail COW In dahlia bed. He is
the bull In my china shop, the NORWOOD In my
wine, and the kerosene In my maple syrup
am shy In conversation. and my unfettered
flights of poesy and sentiment are rare. but this
man Is almost always near to mar 1t all with
remark or q marginal note, or a story or bit Of
politics. ready to burst my beautiful dream and
make me wish that his name might be carved on
marble slab in some quiet cemetery far
away. Dear reader, did you ever meet this
man, or his wife7 Did you ever strike some
beautiful thought, and begin to reel 1t of to
your friends only to be shut off In the middle of
sentence naa. 6y this choice and banner idiot Of
The second class Of interrupters is even worse
1t consists of the man-and, am panied to
state, his wife alsO-who see the general drift
OF your remarks and finish out your story, your
gem of thought or your argument. 1t is very
seldom that they do this as you would do It
yourself, but they are kind and thoughtful. and
their services are always at hand. No matter
how busy they may be. they will leave their
own work and fly to your aid. With the light of
sympathy In their eyes they rush into the con-
versation. and, partaking of your own ZEAL they
take the words from your mouth and cheerfully
suck the juice out of your joke, handing back
the rlnd and hoping for reward. That is where
they get left SO tar as am concerned. 1 am
almost Away ready to repay rudeness with rude
sarcasm as I may be able to secure at the
moment. No one will ever know how yearn
for the blood Of the interrupter. At night
camp ON his trail, and all the day thirst for his
warm LIES current. In my dreams am cutting
his scalp loose with casekHife, while nv fingers
are twined IN his clustering hair. I walk over
him and promenade across his abdomen as
sumber. l hear his ribs crack and l see his
tongue hang over his shoulder as he smiles
deaths mirthful SMILE do not interrupt a
give him chance to win applause or decom-
posed eggs from the audience according to what
ne has to say, and according to the protundty
OF his profund. All want Is a similar chance
and room according to my strength.
Common decency ought to govern conversa-
ton without its being necessary to hire an
umpire armed with a four-foot club, to an
nounce who is at the bat and who is on deck. It
Is only once in week orr two that the ange
troubles the waters and stirs up the depths of
my conversational powers, and then the chances
are that some leprOus old nasty toad who has
been hanging on the brink Of decent society for
two weeks. slides in with low kerplunk, and
my fair blossom of thought. that has been try
ing for weeks to bloom, withers and goes to
seed, while the man with the chilled steel and
copper-riveted brow and wad of self-esteem on
his intellectual balcony as big as an inkstand,
walks slowly away to think Of some other daz-
cling gem. and thus be ready to bust my beautt-
full phantom and tear out my high priced bulbs
of fancy the nexttim open my mouth.