davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-07-06
The telephone has great many
connections, but no blood relations.
REMEMBER THIS.

Ernest Reese. of Hannibal, Mo-, says:
samaritan Nerrine cured me of sick head
ache q"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-07-06

Is the man who delivers 6eclama-
ton through the telephone a hello
cutionist!
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-07-06

High chairs at low prices at II. Shellhaas',
18th st. Oakland.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-07-06

Carpets ard furniture 20 per cent cheaper
at ii. Schellhaas'. lIth St.. Oakland.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-07-06
THE AGE OF MIRACLES

The bandoline girl is apt to appear
stuck up.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-07-06

The donkey never suffers from
softening of the brayin'.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-07-06

A bee often meets with revsrses,
but as a rule he is successful in the
op6
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-07-06

A stare-way-The theater corridor
after a matinee.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-07-06

At Falmouth, KY, William Askins
and William Schaeffer, two boys, on
their way to the circus. began to
throw stones at each other, and soon
developed tsuch feeling that Askins
drew a revolver and shot Schaetfer
through the lung. The wound is
supposed to be fatal.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-07-06

An uptown woman narrowly es
capped terrible death the other day.
Her husband kept bottle of forty
cent whisky in the house, and she
concluded to take a swallow of the
stuff. Fortunately she got hold of
the wrong bottle and swallowed a
quantity of rat poison.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-07-06

At an evening prayer meeting i'll
a neighboring town, as the nine
o'clock bell ceased ringing, the
clergyman who presided arose and
spoke in most solemn and i'm
pressive manner Of the reminder they
had just received from the bells OF
the flight of time ant the necessity
depending time well while it is ours
to improve. When he sat down an
elderly female arose, and in a shrill
voice startled the assembly by re-
marking in a contradictory tone, II
think 1t must be fire"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-07-06

COIupIeSSeu lutO ulOuluS. IL LudkeS a
perfect cross tie. 1t is practically
water and fire proof, as it is manu-
featured under 500 degrees of heat
Atmospheric changes have no effect
on it. It can be made as cheap as
wood at the present time, and will
last at least twenty five years. One
paper tie will 'outwear five wooden
ones, and will render better service,
because it does not rot and there is
no danger of spreading rails. The
accident to the Long Branch train
last year was due, according to off
cial investigation, to spreading rails.
The wooden ties had decayed so that
the spikes that held the rails were
loose"
"Will the paper tie take a spike?
It seems like iron"
1T will take a spike rs readily as
wood, and hang to it, too. There is
plenty of give to the paper tie, so
that the rolling stock of a railroad
will not suffer. They are of uniform
size, and weigh a little more than
wood"
Suppose straw board goes up in
value?"
ut doesn't make any difference.
The tie can be made of any fibrous
substance capable of being reduced
to pulp-prairie grass, for instance,
But how can the straw give out? 1t
takes a hundred years to grow tree,
while straw grows every year. In the
Northwest they burn straw in vast
quantities every year SO as to get it
out OF the way The paper tie must
be adopted before long from sheer
necessity. We can't go on chopping
down trees forever. The paper tie
deadens sound. Col. +. r. Hahn
will shortly introduce it on the ele
waited road. It's pretty good thing,
l guess, eh!" asked the inventor, and
again he smiled, and drummed on the
tie with his finger nails.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-20
NO HOME EXEMPT.
The Source of Those NJ Mysterious Troubles
That Come to Every Household
EXPLAINED

The following article from the Democrat
and Chronicle, Of Rochester, n. Y, is OF so
striking nature and emanates from so relia-
BILE a source, that II Is herewith re-publshed
entire. In addition to the valuable matter IL
ing:
To the Editor of the Democrat and Chronicle
SIR: My motives for the publication of the
most unusual statements which follow, are
first, gratitude for the fact that | have been
saved from a most horrible death, and, second
ly, desire to warn all who read tins statement
against some of the most deceptive influences
by which they have ever been surrounded. II
Is a fact that to-day thousands of people are
within a foot of the grave and they do not
know L.. To tell now / was caught away
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-20

First dude with an embarrassed Smile
"Say, Augustus, really believe I've broken
a corset lacing. Have you an extra one with
your
Second dude, with an expression Of horror
-"Realyl Wig Algernon, where could you
fix it IL had oneY The gyurls are ell looking
at US, ye know Hartford POSI-
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-20

Entered at postofice at San Antonio, Texas,
"a seooud-oass matter
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-20

THE recent census of the French and Ger
man nations show the relative position Of the
two countries. In 1881 the French popula-
ton was 81 500 223, to-day is 37,672, orc.
The population OF the German empire is "A,
$780, 500. The propoton of females to every
thousand males, is Germany 96S, France 99I
The strangers in Germany in 1851, only num-
bered 276,o in France there are over
100000. Germany has decidedly the best
of it in every way, in case of a war occurring
between those nations. Taking the latest
census for every country, Gosselin declares
that the following will be the population OF
the countries named 50 years hence: United
States, 1883 coo, 600, Germany $4,000 600,
United Kingdom, $4,000 600, Austro, Hun
gary and Italy A, 600, 900, France 40, ooo, goo.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-20
CLOSE CONNECTIONS!

nj Little Rock FOR the Southeast, and in the
Union depot, st. Louis, with express trains
i'm all directions.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-20

THE Chicago Inter-Ocean speaks of zone
of the dozen jurors in the Star route case
afflicted with delirium tremens." The one il
speaks of is Vernon. 1t describes how, with
frantic yell, he fell in the fit, but does moi
speak Of the symptoms of the other II. With
Vernon in that condition the case was bad
enough, but if there were dozen it was too
bad.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-20

MRS. LANGTRY has cleared 500, 600 during
her last theatrical season. Her visit to
America has certainly been a paying specula-
ton, and it is not surprising to hear that she
proposes starring in this country for another
season.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-20
EXCURSION TICKETS

to all places Of Summer Resort in the North,
East Southeast and West, good until October
81 for return, are now on sale at low rates.
Two express trains daily, offering passengers
choice of route via Waco or Palestine.
For tickets, rates, time cards or any infor-
nation amply to j. S. LANDRY, Ticket Clerk,
246 Commerce street, San Antonio, Tex, II. p.
Hughes, Passenger Agent, Houston Tex, b.
W. Mccullough, A. Il. =. and II. Agent, Mar
shall, Texas; n. Q. Townsend, G. p. A, St.
Louis Mo-; II. NJ. Hoxie, Third Vice-President,
st. Louis. Mo.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-20

THERE is no truth in the prevailing opinion
in America that Queen Victoria intends to alb
dictate her throne in favor of her son and her
Albert Edward, Prince of Wales.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-20

ST. LOUIS is complaining loudly of the
quality and price OF her gas. Yet she is better
served in both ways than San Antonio.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-20

We think Crook rather extravagantly
praised for the favorable results of his Indian
raid into Mexico. We fear it is squirting
politics wise that there are those looking for
Indian fighting material for the purpose Of
President making. We confess to a decided
preference for statesmen for Presidents. The
experiment with General Harrison 40 years
ago was, both as to himself and the party that
ught to use him, very calamitous. To be
sure a President on the strength of Crook 5
adventure would be ludicrous, but it is not too
ridiculous to be feared.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-20

HOOPS brigade hold their next reunion at
Crockett, on the 27th inst. Last year, it will
be remembered, they met in the Alamo City.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-20

Mr. A. w. FINLAYsoN, in recent article
in the Nineteenth Century, points out that
there has been a material decrease 10 the de-
mand for many articles of British manufacture,
and he attributes this mainly to that fact that
the reduction Of the English workman's work.
ing time to 50 hours per week, by which one
fifteenth part of the entire manufacturing
power in that country is struck off. o her
countries buy English machinery, work as fast
and longer, thus rendering English compet
ton in other markets more difficult. This
may be true, but it is question that will right
ITSELF especially in this country. Labor is de-
manding the reduction of her working hours in
unmistakable voice, and ere long manufac-
turers will be obliged to submit to what is,
after all a reasonable demand. Working
men want and should receive time for mental
and artistic improvement and recreation.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-20
IntePnadiOnaIlGpeat Northern
RAInwAx
Time Card, to Take Effect June 10.

Leave San Antonio bound North at 7:l5 a.
m, and l2:l5 p. M. Arrive-3:l5 p. m, and
p. IN. Leave for Laredo 8 p. m. arrive from
Laredo 1:l5 a. m.
Train leaving San Antonio 7:45 a. IN. has
Pullma Palace car to Galveston, via Austin,
and Pullman Hotel car to st. Louis. Train
leaving san Antonio at l2:l5 y. IN. has Pullman
Palace Sleeping car to TeXarkana, via Pales-
tine, where close connection is made with
express train for st. Louis.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-06-20

"WEDNESDAY, JUNE 20. 1883.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-02
Chicken GrabberS.

Early yesterday morning Officer MCGEE
observed that three men were hanging
around the front of Rector & McCubbin' S
grocery store, On West Main street, In
very suspicious manner. The trio seemed
bent upon making raid on hen-coop
flied with tender chickens, which stood in
front Of the store. Finally the gang, think
ing that they were free from observation,
began to pull the pullets and collar" the
cock adoodledoes. MCGEE made good
break for them and succeeded in ga herring
in Cliff Moore, whom he landed in the
calaboose. John Cheek and John Parker,
the other two men who are believed to have
been par,iceps criminis, made Jay-Eye-See
time and escaped. Yesterday warrant
was sworn out against the three parties
above mentioned, charging them with petty
larceny. The poor chickens stood upon
their hind legs and howled SO piteously
that the whole neighborhood was drowned
In tears.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-02
Don Jose De Peltier.

Last night the adamantine gum drops,
the telescope goggles, the wonderful hair
splitting razors, the immaculate chromos
by old masters, (older than the patriarch
of the Bible e,er dared to be- and the
ether numerous articles of virtu, art and
merchandise on Mr.. Joseph Peltier's stand,
at Blair Brothers corner, were packed
away in boxes, while their owner was away
laying himself on the altar of matrimony.
There are few old or new residents
of Sedalia who do not know Joe. He is a
good citizen and his only failing is his
irresistible propensity for flights Of magma
ton. He is the friend of the newspaper man
and the sworn enemy OF whisky straight.
two virtues of great price. For the past
forty-three years. Joe. has gallantly resist
ed the wiles of the sex so fair In face and
form. so unfair in everything else. and has
borne the heavy burthens OF celibacyswith
the fortitude Of st. Anthony. But last
night he succumbed to the arrows OF Cupid.
He was united in marriage to Mrs. +.
Farr, at the residence of Mr.. Anderson,
who resides nine miles south ofSedalia. Doc.
Middleton, another hard-hearted man was
there to give Joe. away. The BAzoo hopes
that Joe. ard his bride, who is very
respectable woman, may outiive Methuse-
Iah and be as happy as CLANS at high tide.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-02
DOGS AS TRAVELLERS.
The Lovely Treatment They
Receive.

Yesterday evening two couples OF Eng
lish hounds arrived by express at the
Garrison house They were consigned to
Mr. A. i. Walker, of Pleasan: Green, the
well known stock Ian, and one OF ;he
wealthiest land owners In Central Mis-
souri,. From The fact that he animals
were sent by express, it is reasonable to
suppose that they are o. more value than
the ordinary 'yaller dog" In spite of
,his fact they did not receive much
better treatment than is usually
accorded 10 the Common "iOw
down cur" When they 4 arrived at
the depot, one OF the hounds had broken
leg which was much swollen and irritated.
As young employee of the express COM
pany started to lead this couple out OF 1.-THE
door of the car, as il they were bundle
of old scrap iron, the man on the car
exclaimed, lookout, one of those dogs has
broken leg" Before the warning Was
needed, the two dogs were jerked TO the
platform, all in heap, and the one
with the broken leg was completely
paralyzed by the pain OF falling OH its
broken and infamed limb. The dog lay
quivering on the platform for several min
utes with look Of almost human sgony
and appeal for sympathy on its expressive
conntenance, and then got up and limped
of. ::As a matter oiIbusiness policy, animals
shipped ON cars should be treated with
more than ordinary care, and as almost
every car contains some animal, common
humanity demands that they should not be
banged around as If they were Saratoga
trunks.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-02
RED STORE, 2O7 OEIO ST.

shook all over Wonder il l am not still
in love with that girl? Certainly in look
peculiar '%s at . sss ne'' as il have susa,
TO have her and would love SO
,iearly tn mug her to nv bosom, and kiss
her and call her mine. Her letters, il they
tell the uulh, says she loves me now. and
always has done SO. / think a great
deal Of Miss l.. and for The sole reason
that she reminds me of Ida.
The photograph" CTS away with him.
February %, lS19-Another evening
alone in my room. Commenced 4 letter 10
Ida, of whom | have been thinking all
day, and at whose photograph | have look
ell hundred times il once.
For genuine depths Of depravity, portions
tions of the next entry OF this remarkable
diary takes the prize medal, and is untitled
for publication. The rest reads thus:
March !, IS79.-Went down town before
supper to get shaved was in my room by
$50 p. m, and remained there writing a
long letter to Ida. Her picture seems TO
have complete fascination for me. and /
really love her now. Will it Continue,
and would j. do so under Gifieren; circum-
stances? Could / only break OF my de-
;e>tsble habits, I'd b. different man.
/ love all women when / refrain from
them, and love none when i give way TO
them.
lie quotes Byron ard goes TO church.
hiarch 11th, '79.-Went TO Baptis; church
&c hear Rev. F preach, liked him very
much. l went alone and saw l.. and the
A. girls, only bowed across the church ;
would have walked home with them only
heard l. say she never wanted TO walk
home with anybody from anywhere unless
she had gone with them. ! walked 10 the
corner right behind them, but did not even
speak. Perhaps did it to follow the adj
vic. Of Byron in 34th verse OF the ID canto
of ''Childe Harold" but ii so, / ecu, off my
nose to spite my face" and came home mai
with myself for throwing away the chance
for pleasant evening. / like l.. ever so
much and think she likes me, II / know
anything OF women.
Goes tn an "April Fool" party.
April LIST, '79 -Took Misses c. L. and
L. i. to an "April Foop party a; Col. DIS.
Would have had good time had II not
been for the headache. Danced with Mrs
S. L. H. and Mrs. +. >. II. Heard PROBES
Sol.ian play the violin. Had terrible
headache and did not sleep ali night.
| He reads Don Juan"
April 81, '19.-Weni to the Office, but had
to come home. Spent all day and night
in my led, sleeping and reading "Don
Juan"
There are many other de,ectable entries
but this will suffice Tor the present al
least.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-02
Weather Report.
PENCILINGS.

-Wanted-a boy at the BAzoo Office.
Patrick McCrral is having a 24-inch
drain pipe laid near the curbing of his
property on Third and Engineer streets,
which is a valuable improvement.
The friends and members of the Tenn
perance union are invited to be present at
the regular meeting Tuesday at o'clock,
October Isl, in the rear of the Christian
church.
Hugh Flemming, of the d. Fl. Smith
hardware company, is rejoicing in the pos
session of fresh, new and clean. faced girl
baby at his house. May its days be mauy.
The BAzoo will expect to zee its grand.
parents on dressparade to-day in honor OF
the event,
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-02
Thrown From q Buggy.

Yesterday afternoon Jessie Smith, daugh-
ter of Mr.. d. Fl. Smith, and her
young brothers George, and Clay Smith
and her cousin, Miss Minnie Potter. went
out to the forest on Flat creek on nut
ting expedition. They drove out in a
comfortable buggy, and after a pleasant
day were returning on the road between
the water works and the city when they
met q COW with large board tied in front
of her horns. The COW seemed inclined TO
take up the entire highway
and so frightened the horse that the
animal gave . spring and sudden turn,
which completely upset the buggy and
threw all the occupants ont in mass: The
horse ran short distance and succeeded in
completely wrecking the top of the buggy.
Miss Jessie received severe sprain of the
ankle apd Miss Minnie Potter was bruised
on the arm. The boys escaped With slight
bruises. Fortunately none Of the party
were caught under the buggy, OF they
would not have escaped SO easily.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-02
SHOT IN THE LEG.
Billy Taylor, While Monkeying
With a Friend, Receives a
Thirty-Two Caliber
Bullet in His
Anatomy.

On Friday night ii was rumored that
man had been dangerously shot on Ohio
street. Immediately a reporter began to
look the matter up but 1t seemed to De
shronded in such myster that no detnlte{
facts could be ascertained. At last il waS
concluded that the report originated from
the fact that railroad toepedO was thrown
into Ohio street and exploded By wagon
wheel running over it. The report was
still current Yesterday morning and BAzoo
reporter determined to run it down. The
youns man vino was reported to have been
Shot was watched for, Billy Taylor form
erly an express man but more RECENTLY
in the saloon BUSINESS. Ii was
observed thst as the young man walked
around he linpei little and made use OF
a cane The reporter finally approached
him and asked him how his game leg was
He responded with the inquiry, "wLat
game leg ?" and seemed inclined to lead
the reporter to believe that he had no
wound.
After little friendly talk ne said that
he and couple OF arenas were out to-
ge,her on Friday evening, having Z pleas
ant stroll. One OF the party had pistol
and took It out OF his pocket and began
fooliDy with IT, He had not mOnkeyed
with il very long until it did what every
we'll made and right minded pistol does
On such occasions, 10 wit. went of and
sent thirty two cal;ber bullet into the
il-shy part Of Taylor's leg, between the
knee and the thigh. The wound Is not
dangerous nut painful, and if it had gone
little higher, the young mans relatives
might have been wearing Grape. Taylor
said the shot WAS purely accidental, and
he positively refused to give the name OF
the friend VINO caused the wound. Taylor
seemed disinclined TO say anything further
about it, as he claimed that it was only an
accident. There were a number of rumorS
about il last night, and they are given slli-
ply for what they are worth. One story is,
that TAYLOR and his friend had quarrel
about a young girl to whom both OF them
had been paving attention, and that his
companion shot him on purpose. Ii 1t WIS
purely accidental, there is not the least
reason why there should be any mystery.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-02

If Camille" expects Babe Mills to be
in ST. Louis this week?
What Miss Mary thinks of the new
house j. G. is building?
If Rhea and Bud Hastain have reached
the classic banks of the Ossges
Whether Officer McGhee "caught on
when the rooster grabber did so?
When the double wedding of Barney
Fagin and Rox Leidy will take place?
When Ei. Villmore will return that
ring to Hattie, and why did he take it?
Who "Goshen" is, and why the young
ladies' on Third street are mashed on him
What Milt thought when the young
girl threw the fan at him while coming
from the ball
If the author Of certain "diary" will
not in the years to come enjoy seeing his
children reading the publication?
If Charlie Hessler INDUCED in few
"crss words" yesterday morning when he
found he was on the wrong train?
If there is any other profession in the
city with better development Of muscle
and true grit than the medical profession
If Henry Knopfi lsbored under the
impression that he had been shot at when
the torpedo exploded on Ohio street Friday
afternoon?
If the two young and muscular disci-
pies of Esculapius did not perform a most
interesting surgical operation on each other
yesterday?
Ii the young man who piles on SI25
worth of dudeism on a monthly salary OF
$50 will not find it cold day about the
first of January?
What Sterling Bakers Pleasant Hill
girl would say if she knew he spent last
Sunday evening in company With Knob.
noster biscuit shooter?
If it does not make a young husband
feel as tall as Goliath to have his friends
come up TO him and say, SWELL, old fellow,
see that you are daddy"
If 1t will not raise merry hell out in
East Sedalia when a we'll known Third
street groceryman offers for sale to the
highest bidder the accounts of number Of
delinquent customers?
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-02
MESSERLY & MEUSCHKE
JOHN B. DORIS GREAT INTEE
O,EAN CIRCUS.
BY JOHN PATTERSON.

The following. while not strictly poetical,
is worthy of publication as a cleverly ar
ranged rhyme in scrostic:
Great is our show. and grand our procession,
Rivaled ~ none in this age Of progression;
Esteemed By all in high and low station,
Approved by the press, It's the voice Of the
nation,
To uphold all that is good in this genera
ton.
Inter Ocean our trade mark has been Il sue
cess,
Nothing like it on earth, SO the people con
Tess.
Tabernacle Of wonders for the world to be-
hold,
Embracing attractions worth their weight
in gold,
Riders surprising the Romans Of old.
On ocean and land We have agents explor-
ing,
Curiosities rare they are constantly storing;
Experience has taught them the wants OF
mankind,
And their reward is so great they still
are inclined,
Novelty after novelty they still strive to
find.
Circus we have enc that de6es competition,
Integrity is the password of our great ex-
hibition,
Regardless of expense is this organization
Colossal in magnitude, and beyond imita-
ton,
Unchangeable is the name of John B.
Doris.
Slanderers beware, right must be victorious.