The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-01-12
Romance Of a LuIiputian.

Romance Sf q Luliputian.
''Like all other professions, ours has
its drawbacks. True, We have no work
to do and are well paid; bat / tell you,
sir, sometimes feel like earning my
bread by the labor of my hands and the
sweat OF my brow rather than stand al
day ON platform to be stared at and
heartlessly commented upon. And al
this because am only thirty-three
inches high. How would you enjoy
being the object of such admiration as is
bestowed upon promising six-nnonths-
old infant? 1t makes my blood, boil
to think OF the way people regard me,
although am twenty six years old. How
would you like to be called "a cunning
little DEAR and Just too sweet for
anythingP''' .1'g..I e-tp,ti .,dqia
The Star reporter, to whom the ques.
ton was addressed, intimated that the
novelty of such endearments might
atone for whatever offensiveness they
might possess. He who complained 50
bitterly of his fate was. as he had said,
thirty-three and one-half inches high.
There was nothing Juvenile about him
except his stature. His figure was very
stout in proportion 10 his height, and
his features looked even older than those
of most persons twenty-six years old.
There is one thing / objected to from
the start, and that was wearing . gaudy
uniform. I told the manager that ma
ture had made me ridiculous enough at
| the start, and there was no occasion for
augmenting her work by that of tailor.
The manager stormed. but it was of no
use. | was memorable; my foot was
down" s,iH Is elliott Z ) -IH
As he said this the little man (who
was seated in large arm-chair) brought
one foot as near the floor as it would go.
"But your life cannot be made up en-
tirely OF indignities from the public and
fights with your manager" said the
reporter. '.You must have little fun
occasionally ?"
80, to be sure; my existence is not
entirely one of unrelieved gloom. I
have friends, and nv personal attach
ments are as deep and lasting as those
of any man six feet high. Our NADIA
gascar Prince, who was horn in New
Hampshire, is one of my cronies, aud [
am on good terms with the tattooed
man, although he is inclined to be. too
proud of his frescoed cuticle to tolerate
familiarity from any one."
"The mention of your social affilia-
tons leads me to inquire if you are
singlep" III .4g5sIt
The miget sighed, while an express
sion of mingled bitterness and sorrow
crossed his face. nj. ~ Dob
"You touch chord in my heart that
hoped never would vibrate again. 1t
is the old story. l might have been
benedict to-day. had it not been for
But now that have given you hint, l
might as well go on with the story:
"Ever since the beginning of my
public career have been looked upon
as confirmed old bachelor. To the
charms of ladies in the profession, from
the fat woman down. have been as
adamant. Most of the fair ones who
came to look at me only wearied me.
But one day there came to the museum
perfect little fairy. the mere sight of
whom set my heart (Which differs in de-
gree. but not in kind, from the hearts
of largermen) pounding my ribs like
sledge-hammer.''
"One moment" broke in the reporter.
"When you speak of the lady as little,
do you mean that her proportions bore
comparison with your own?'' .-..I
Eyes; she was only about two feet
taller than |. Imagine my delight
when she paused some time before my
end of the platform. l was so Hurried
that when MAJ bought copy of my
photograph, handed it to the lady in
stead of to the purchaser. She looked
up at me, smiled, and looked down
again. o, my prophetic soul! All that
day was as gay as lark. Our gor-
geous giant Smiled a smile thirteen
inches broad when he heard me hum
ming: a.r.. .....F.g
In DAYS of old when knights were bold,
And baronS held their sway.
warrior bold. in spurs of gold,
~ Sang merrily his lay; E'' r......f
NV love Is young and fair, .....-.
NV love has golden hair,
And eyes so blue and heart so true
Let none with her compare. raE
'sShe came again, spoke to me, and
left no doubt in my mind that my affec-
ton was reciprocated. One night, amid
the hustle and glare of the museum,
when the lecturer was eXpatiating upon
the ThompsOn-street What-is-It, in the
other end of the hall, she stood at my
side, and popped the fatal question. l
was not eloquent; who is, under the Cir
cumstances?''
'.NO one, to be sure" answered the
experienced reporter.
II told her." proceeded the pigmy,
that | could support her well, and that |
the circumstances of her high standing
q meant no pun) should not weigh |
lob I'd
tons"
what did she say?''
Before she could say word the lee
turer came along and finished our tete-a-
tete with his tedious Now. ladies and
gentlemen, we come to the wonderful
dwarf, Mr.. Claud Henry Fitz Eustace,'
etc. My inamorata vanished in the
throng, and l saw her no more that
evening. The next time l did see her."
went on the dwarf, in a voice husky
with passion. ''my joy turned to sad
ness, and my love not to hate, but to a
bitterness and detection.
She was with a mana great uncouth
monster nearly six feet high. She leaned
on his arm, and had the wanton cruelty
to smile in mockry upon me as they
passed. The sight maddened me. L
sent supe who did duty at the lecture
room variety show to call my rival to
me.
/" Sir said to him, in accents in
tended to freeze the blood in his veins.
you may not be aware that the young
lady whom you are escOrting this even
ing is as good as engaged to marry me-
'.He looked at me in blank amaze
ment for moment, and then said:
"s No. was not aware of IL. Since