St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1883-02-10
WHY 0rIMBY sWORE OFF.

Jack Quimby awoke with a bad head
ache. This was no new sensation to
MIR. Quimhy. 1t was old as the eternal
hills. for Jack was a bibulous soul, and
his head was not proportionate to his
inclination for strong waters. He loved
drink, not for its own sake, but for the
mad merriment the bowl provoked, the
song. the Jest. and the anecdote, the
maudlin fraternal embrace, and the
pledges of everlasting friendship. He
occupied responsible position in a
Front street office-for despite his deep
and Unsuitable thirst. Quimby was an
excellent man of business.
i '.Ilook,'' said Mr.. Quimby. as he rue
fully surveyed his crimson countenance
i'm a hand glass, Il look like billed owl.
Or the last run of shad. Or the break
ing up of hard winter. This won't
do; I'll have to swear off, or the cold
and silent grave will soon claim this
manly form for its own and jack s
eyes suffused with tears. for the fumes
of the last round Of night-caps were by
no means dissipated.
\ There never was a better Christian
ruined by drink than the undersigned, "
he continued, and then, as his eyes lit
on a bottle on the bureau, he said, with
ia deep sigh of gratitude: Thank
Heaven, there is snifter to brace up
on. IS
Mr.. Quimby's toilet was slow and
painful this morning, He looked at the
cold water with a shudder, but finally
worked himself up to the washing point.
He was lone time in getting his collar
buttoned, he dared not shave, though
he usually performed that Office every
day, and he marked with agroan that a
new pimple had taken.its place on his
forehead.
Clearly said aQuimby, II must
swear OF. There are only five days left
of December. Then the new year and
piety,' and much consoled by the self
promised reform, he left his room to
make a feeble apology forta breakfast.
"A few hours later and Mr.. Quimby was
himself again. It had taken much arti-
fcia aid to bring his restoration about.
but Mr.. Quimby played the good
Samaritan to himself with the most lib
eral cheerfulness. "a hair of the dog, =
was one of his most cherished maSims.
The trouble was that he began with the
hair. and usually concluded with the
whole hide.
..If." he often remarked to his con-
fidants, II could keep cold sober for
twenty-four hours together, do not
think I would find much trouble in
swearing off, And then he'd recite
Ia The Vagabonds = with tears stream
inc down his cheeks, and dwell with in
finite pathos on the lines:
+. You should have seen these classic feat
Yn ng need not scofF, sir. Twas not then
Such burning libel upon Gods creatures
s I was one OF your handsome men,"
Despite his rotations he was hand
some, and the burning libel part Of the
poem, so far as he was concerned, was
purely imaginary. d
Two young and pretty girls sat In a
handsome mansion on California street.
It was not Mob Hill, but near enough
to breathe the aristocratic atmosphere
of that locality. One, a blonde. was
making mouchoir case for New
Years present. And on the lid her
fair fingers were enbroidering the
initials }. Q. ..as
al cannot imagine how you endure
that fellow, ALICE" said the other.
\. he never comes near me without re-
mindjnp me Of spice factory. Why.
he must exist on cloves. and cinnamon,
and that sort OF thing. | am sure he