Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-10-24
Settled by Wire.

A lady entered the Office of a Law
firm on Montague street and consulted
] Mr.. F., the junior partner, as to how
she should act in a difficulty. She haG
rented part of her house to Mr.. w.
who cleared out, owing her $500 fol
rent. He had removed with the inten
tion of going to Bridgeport, and his
furniture was on the way to the boat
which was to leave shortly for the Con.
nectlcut town. Mr.. p. Immediately
prepared the necessary papers and got
an attachment. A clerk was despatch
ed to New Yerk with the directions to
put the attachment in the hands of the
sheriff at once, and to search the river
front for the furniture. The lady de-
parted, and Mr.. p. awaited develop
ments. An hour later Mr.. w. entered
chalant air. He carried his hands in
his pockets and cigar in his mouth.
81 understand, said he to Mr.. P,
that you are trying to seize my prop
erty."
''Y You are the man, i suppose" Mr.
z. answered, ''whO hired Mrs. Blank IS
house and quilted without paying the
rent, and are removing your furniture
to COnnecticut?'
''That's about the size of it.r Mr..
w. said, land l thought would just
stop in and ask whether you had got
my property yet?" Then he laughed
gaily as one who had made a pleasant
joke AT that moment there came a
ring at the telephone. Mr.. p. jumped
up and responded with the usual
''Hello."
''Who's that?' came back. 81
P.," was the answer, Mr.. Z. recogniz-
ing the voice of his clerk who had
gone over the river with the attach
ment.
We've hunted everywhere, came
through the telephone, "and can't find
the furniture"
Mr.. Z. turned to Mr.. w. and said:
What are you going to do about it?"
In the first place. Mr.. w. replied,
81 want to know whether you got my
furniture-ha ha!''
Tell the sheriff." said Mr.. p, with
his lips to the telephone. Ito take the
furniture off the boat and put it in the
Hold, there" Mr.. w. exclaimed,
his tone of jubilant banter changed to
one of genuine alarm; II don't want
the furniture taken off the boat
"WeII, what shall we do?" Mr.. p.
said; ''you hear my orders?"
The telephone bell rang violently
Mr.. Z. put his ear to the funnel and
heard these words delivered with great
distinctness and emphasis: 'I-tell-
we-haven't-gOt- he-furniture-we-
can't-find-lt.
Il don't care if the sheriff's fees are
S5O," Mr.. z. shouted in return through
the instrument; ''the defendant has to
foot the bill. Store the furniture at
once.'
''Look here Mr.. p" the defendant
said, i'll tone of supplication; whats
the best l can do?''
The bell rang again furiously. Mr..
L. put his ear to the tube and the speak
er at the other end said in tones which
Mr.. Z. recognized as those of a clerk in
the sheriff's office. ''Blank, blank you,
what do you mean? Are you crazy?
Don't you hear! We haven't got the
blank, blank furniture, and we don't
know where it isl
Just so," replied Mr.. =. do the
best you can, and damage it as little as
possible. The defendant will have to
stand the expenses"
snow don't be severe" Mr. w. said,
almost in despair; ''tell me what you
PAY the full amount due" replied
Mr.. p, land We'll throw off the costs
and expenses
The bell again rang with louder tones
than before. Mr.. p. listened. The
voice that answered said: "I'll be blank
BANKED if l ever came across such stu
pidity. Hold on and I'll spell it out to
you"
And then carefully, letter by letter,
the voice spelled cut: I'VE haven't
been able to find the furniture"
The defendant by this time had got
out his pocket-bOok and was counting
out the bills. When he had paid the
$500 Mr.. Z. went to the telephone and
called up the sheriff's office once more.
''NOw, then, stupid, what's the mat.
ter?" was the reply. ''Give the sheriff
directions to let the furniture CO." Mr..
Z. said.
Then he sat down and wrote a re-
ceipt. The bell went off again like
mad. Mr.. p. cOolly placed his mouth
to the telephone and said: ''Say, tell
the sheriff to let the furniture go and
come to me for his fees"
Then Mr.. p, with smile on his
face listened for reply, ''Blank, blank
you, you thick-headed ass" came over
the wires into Mr.. P.'s ears, I'VE
haven't got the property"
Then Mr.. W. quilted the office. Mr..
p. rang up the sheriff and received a
highly complimentary reply. Then it
was Mr.. P.'s turn. 'While you were
believing over the wires," he said,
'the defendant was by my side, and 1
had to make the proper answer to bring
him to terms. Anything stupid or like
an ass in that2 Send over your bill.
the suits settled"