New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-26
OLD Wigs ORDERED ASHORE.

| There is nothing more amusing in current
politics than the performances of Mr.. Henry
Watterson when he takes the notion into his
head some morning, n few minutes before
The Louisville Courir-Journdl goes to press,
that he is in command of the Democratic ship
and called upon to discipline mutinous crew
just as the fine old vessel is making q safe
harbor at the end of o prosperous voyage.
The manner in which he bowls to the crew
to "Belaym to tho passengers to "Avast
theren to the cook to "Take a reef in the lee
scuppers !" and to the mates TO Get out a
gang plank and let the Old Wings go
ashore n while he damns the tarry toplights
OF the laggard crew and calls everybody
"lubber" who doesn't Immediately obey his
hurried orders, ia something funny to see and
hear. IL is likewise funny TO SEQ him a day
or two later when lac wakes up and finds that
the old ship isn't under way at all, but calmly
rotting in tho mud, and that instead of being
in command and enforcing discipline among a
mutnOus crew he is only noisy passenger
who ia already charged with having meddled
with the rudder and run tho old ship aground,
and whom the officers are seriously thinking
of throwing overheard because he keeps every
body in stew and gives the whole ship
headache. One day he orders everybody
ashore to tighten the ship; the next he Is
looking around for some one to 20 overheard
with him and undertake to finish tho voyage
on the single plank " for revenue only"
HIS latest freak is the issuance of orders TO
the Old Wings who joined tho Democrats on
the Slavery issue, but still believe in Protec-
ton, to go over to the Republicans. lie has
hosted the flag of Free Trade and ordered all
the PrOtectionists to go ashore. The Demo-
"cratic party" he says, is made up OF Old
"Whgs and Old Democrats. They came to-
"gether on new issues. If any Old Wing who
has got astray and feels himself away from
"home In the Democratic party wants to
ago back and take up the line of error pur-
" sued by the Wings until it extinguished the
cold Wing party, he will find what he wants
"among the Republicans, and we advise him
"by all means to get there quick" This is
the way he feels to-day. Tomorrow he is
liable to he going round, grp-sack in hand,
looking for some Democratic Free Trader to
go out with him and organize nucleus"
awe was havln' little dancin' party here
last night" said a Kentucky tavern-kreper,
can rattle-headed Teller cum in an lowed
there want goin' to be no more square dan
cn' Round Dances says he, 'or nothin'. an
Id advise the feers as can't dance round
dances to skip across the way TO class meetln'
where they don't low no dancin whatever"
Ibid they change the programme ~ asked
the traveller.
"Not much they didn't. But he got his
round dancin' though. After our party fired
him out he made such n row all alone in the
middle O the street that the sheriff waltzed
him off to the lookup for disturbin' a reig-
ious meetin'."
And now another rattle-headed Kentuckian
has prohibited "square dancin'" and advised |
the old fashioned lovers of "square dancin'"
to 20 "across The way" We shall see by and |
by how it turns out.