davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24
A SURPRISED JUDGE.

want you" said lawyer to col ored witness in an Arkansaw court. to pay strict attention to the question asked you"
 "Yas. sah, l will. It's cold day. boss. when doan pay attention"
 "fou have known the prisoner ever since he was boy!''
 ''fas, sah, an when says dat knows a man, knows him, case de weather is powerful chilly when"
 "Never mind the weather. You pre- vailed upon the prisoner not to steal the sheep, did you:''
 "fas, sah. Shows mighty deep on de groun, sah, an de win is powerful cut tin when doan' advise man"
 "Never mind your weather comments. You state upon oath that you prevailed upon the prisoner not to steal the sheep?''
 .'Yas, sah. Dam ef didn't"
 "l'll send you to jail, you impudent rascal, for using such language in the presence of this court v exclaimed the judge.
 Send me ter jail fur what. jedge. Fur doin' what was tole ter do! De gen. leman dar axed me ef I'd state de fack on oath, an i done so. doan' like ter cuss, case l longs ter de church, but when de lawyers tells me ter use de oath l uses it, sah. Elf yer's got any udder Pints, jedge, what yer wants ter ax me bout l'se willin' ter gin yer. suggestions ter de best ob my edyca,ion, bu, doan' wanter go ter jail'
 You are old enough to know better than to misunderstood the meaning of an oath. You must have been living in a very ignorant community
 Dat may be fack. sah.''
 Why don't you live in a more intelli- gent community and learn something 2"
 De man what l'se workin' fur, sah. won't pay me"
 Who did you work for =
 Why, boss, you's de curiest man 'eber seed. Doan' yer know dat l'se been workin' fur yersef, haulin' wood, fur de last year. :"
 Take him to Jail for contempt of court, MT. Sheriff" and, adding to him self, the internal negroes are ali so much alike can't tell one from another,n he turned to the clerk and gave instruc- uons in regard te the next case.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

WE received visit from resident of Ar kaasaw few days since. and during the con versation he took occasion to explain to us why they caat raise hogs ia his native state. It seems that the soil is of very soft sticky na- ture. and he claimed that when they attempted ts raise hogs they always found that little bail ef mud would form ca the hogs tail this would hardea and increase in size from day to day uatd the weight would pull the brste's skin so tight aS 10 keep his eyes open continually and the poor hog would, in eoaseQaenee, actually die from los. Of steep.-CL~eGas6S Seay.
 The gentleman who gave the inforna- ton is not a friend of the state. The hog does thrive in this state, in fact he seems to get along better than any other class of citizens. and so far as hog rais- ing is concerned, it is great industry. It mua be confessed, however. that the law is not very liberal toward hog raisers. a fact which the penitentiary books will demonstrate.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24
REMAINS UNSETTLED.

A we'll known minister exchanged pulpits with an interior preacher the other day, and the town preacher declares that while he is willing to strug- gle for the suppression of sin. he is not willing to distribute gospel facts to con- gregation of such polemic inclination. prominent feature of wardrobe was checked shirt with wooden buttons arose and said
 "Cap'n, wush you'd reshuck tha, las, pint
 "l don't understand you," replied the preacher.
 |" ax you let out your back band lit- tie on that last statement
 My friend. am totally in the dark as ,o your meaning"
 You said that Enoch went 10 heaven in ohario, of fire. Strip little more of the bark of and le, me understand the timber better. \ chariot is sor; of ! wagon. ain't il:
 Yes" replied the preacher
 Was il two horse or single horse wagon:
 "I can't tell
 Wall. you must tell. Some time ago fellow driv wagin over one of my hogs and killed him. and when fotch up suit, l couldn't tell whether it was one or two horse wagin, and consequent ly didn't rekiver damages. Since then I'se been more careful So want this chariot business settled righ, here
 My poor friend-''
 :" know I'm poor, without enough corn to run me through the nex, crap, but settle the wagin question
 ii say that the chariot makes no diff ference. so far as our interest in heaven Is concerned All we need to know about il is tha, il aseended up to the home pre- pared for the bliss of the servants of the Lord
 '' That talk sounds well enough, pard- ner. but when man comes into this neishborhood with pints, he's go. to specify. you say the wagin had two horses, we'll accept your statement and let your business go on, or it will be the same if you say that the vehicle only had one hoss. All we wan, to know IS that the thing has been settled. Can you square the difikil,y, Cap'n 7"
 cannot"
 Then come from behind the box" The minister ooeyed, and the question remains unsettled.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

THUS far none of the Arkansaw legis- lAtors have tried to enact law providing for the repeal of the justice of the peace. This failure is awise piece of uncom- nitted legislation. IL would not do just M present 10 entirely abolish the justice of the peace. A law preventing a jus tice of the peace within three miles of a church or school-house might be a re- ligious move, but the law should not ap- ply to cities of the first class. In the city the justice of the peace is an important factor. Without his official place of bu- siness the ward lawyer would have no study after the adjournment of police court The people should not expect the ward lawyer to swaller around" on the police court benches after the adjourn nent of this executive institution. The justice court is nearly always open and tAe benches are usually smooth and com Ssrtable-
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

a temperance speech. Stood up and looked like a man who never touched a drop of whisky. Received oongratula- tons and went to a restaurant to take oysters with friends. Finally took a glass of wine. Took another. Another bottle ordered. Drank freely. Stood up and repeated my temperance speech. Boot black thrust his head through the door, way and leered at me. Threw the vine gar bottle at him. Police came in, and VIC had an interesting session. Fined ten dollars. Kept the affair out of the papers by giving the reporter a cigar. Wednesday D-d reporter did not keep the affair out of the paper, but he got my name wrong. Blamedest world l ever saw. Rather clear up new ground and roll logs. Got drunk again and made
 another temperance speech in the house.
 Head aches like the deuce. Wish l was in the spring house at home. Owe a man ten dollars and he wants il. Town people are unaecommodaiing Been down 10 the newspaper office to make arrangements for complimentary notice.
 Editors have an easy time. Nothing to do but sit down at desk and write. Not half as hard as driving hogs out of the
 field or turning the grind stone. Thursday: Drunk as fool and getting drunker. Fri day: Resolved, never to drink again. Eff teen minutes later Drunk. Hotel clerk threw ink on my shirt front He's fool So am l. Soldering up slowly. Evening i: Drunk again. Saturday: This is my busy day. Considerable of headache hang ing around me. Preparing for hard work. Drunk. Soda water and lobelia. Soldering up. Evening Drunk again. Sunday: Too full to write.''
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24
FEEDERS REFORM.

In the Arkansaw house of representa- tives, the Hon. Idus L. Fielder has cov- cred himself with honor in his laudable attempt to enact a law to prevent, within the state, the sale and circulation of ob- scene and pernicious literature. In re- gard to this young and promising man, a few words of biographical tendency may prove 10 be interesting. ldas L. Fielder was born in the state of Georgia, Septem- Der q, 1855 His father, Herber, Field CT. gentleman who has creditably held many offices of public trust, is now a Git izen of Texas. In 1872. ldus graduated with honors a, the University of Virginia, and in the year following he graduated at the law department ofthe University of Georgia He came to this state in 1877, and is now practicing lawyer at Ozark. Franklin county. He is serving his second term in the legislature, and is em- inently young man with future. Con- scientious, fearless and persevering :: standing on the higher plain of legisla- tive action; spurning the tricks ofthe dem- agogue, he is a man whose services any community may aeoep, with credit to its judgment and profit to its investment.
 When Mir. Fielder's bill for the SUD- pression of obscene literature came up. in urging the passage of the measure the author delivered the following speech "a piece of refined truth that should be read in every household:
 MR. SPEAKER: It has been the ambi- ton of my hfe-and trus, laudable ambition. too-to do some good deed, at some tune or other, the remembrance of which will live after me; the good fruits ot which may benefi, my coun,rymen.
 am admonished that the opportunity is now at hand. Indeed, sir, believe the hour has arrived. Yet conscious that
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

'.YoU say that he would not submit to an interview" sad the city editor to the reporter. That's all right. if he refused. The interview would have made about half a column IS it is. you can give him a column and d half Don't call him a thief, but say that his dishonesty has been eminently established" It is unneces- sary to say that a captured state treas urer was the man in question. At pres ent in the south. state ,reasurers are more importan, than bank cashiers. They leave with more money and arc oonse- quen,ly more entitled to respect.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24
JUDAH P. BENJAMIN.

Judah P. Benjamin, the great English lawyer, has retired from practice tha, yielded him an income of two hundred thousand dollars per year. Mir. Benia- min's career of greatness began in the United States, serving in the senate with
 grea, stinetion. When the "blast of war blew OCT our cars" Mir. Benjamin cast his fortunes, or as it preved, misfor- tunes, with the Confederacy, serving as attorney general and secretary of state. At the close of the war, about the time Jed. Davis was accused of attempting to
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24
follow fashion tending to deceive as to If ,.- es.<~n sL.4 r,

follow fashion tending to deceive as to matter of sex, Benjamin swore that no man should spring scandal on him and tha, he'd Billy be John Crowned" if he didn't leave the country. Shortly after his arrival in England be was admitted 10 the bar. and from that day until now his career has been marked in the bright
 est colors of success. Artemus Ward, the leading practicing attorney al the bar of mirth, often feelingly referred to Mir. Benjamin. On one occasion, whiie Ward. as he in gieeful strain alleged. vas trying to make his way north on a railroad train which he sadly termed a string of second hand coffins, soldier approached him and asked him some thing concerning his percentage and his present personal individuality. It was then that the great humorist became serious. ''l am student in Senator Benlamin's law office. he said, and l am on my way north to steal some spoons for the confederate army" Ne are glad that Mir. Benjamin has been a success. and now ,ha, he reiires' covered with honor. and now that Tom Bowen has been elected to the United States senate, we have nothing further to fear and are perfectly willing to fold up and go to bed believing that all is safe.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

SINCE the issue of the first number of THE ARKANSAw TRAVELLER each week has found its circulation larger than il was the week before. Since the begin ming of the present year, the rapid growth of the papers circulation has been won derful and, to its publishers, more than satisfactory. IL IS not uncommon for a single days mail to bring to us news dealers orders and subscriptions amount ing to five hundred copies. A journal whose immense popularity has been won honestly and in so short a time may be pardoned for occasionally oongratulating itself
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

GEN. HAzEN, chief of the weather wardrobe, and the secretary of war, have become regular correspondents. It is very natural for men, even men of deep drilled education, to talk about the weather. but when two high and presum- ably learned officials sit down and write to each other in regard to weather, it does seem that they have very little to do, or that their stock of subjects has run exceedingly low. Sometimes when peo- pie talk over the telephone wire they ask each other about the weather. but still
 even this is not like sitting dowa and devoting literary work to the clouds. Gen. Hazen, it seems, is afraid that Sec retay Lincoln intends to abolish the weather. These fears, it is to be hoped,
 are groundless, for abolition of the weather would inevitably be attended by great disaster. A temporary suspension, say during the present system of overflow recently adopted by Cincinnati and Lou isville, might work to the eounty's ad- vantage, but no permanent resolve should be acted upon. Gen. Hazen has man. aged the weather as well, perhaps, as any other man could have- done. True, he has sometimes failed to look along the track very far ahead, but he has, as rule, managed to stop at the right station.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

A POOR woman went into lawyers office and asked for fifty cents. Haven't you got paper statistical of the fact that you are a widow with large family and a son with a chronic skinned heel ?" = No. sir" replied the womaH. Got a hand-organ anywhereT' "No, sir" |" Do you stand on the street corner and and sing pi,eously? "No, sir; can't sing "Can you prove that you haven't had anything to eat for ten days :" No, sir, for 1 had breakfast this morning" !" John, said the lawyer, turning to his clerk, give this woman ten dollars. She's a curiosity"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24
A SOBER DIARY.

The following diary of legislator was sent to this office in mistake for ten
 dollar bill,' which the honest member owes to this establishment: "Monday : Have just sobered up, and determined not to take another drink. This thing has gone far enough. and plainly see that unless check myself in this wild career of whoop and repeat the dose, i am hopelessly gone and thoroughly in debt. A strange strength comes to my aid. In after years my grandchildren will read what l now write, and feel . swelling sense of pride. Tuesday Made
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

EVERY bill in the Arkansaw legislature toward railroad legislation has been promptly killed. and the gentleman who lives at the end of the red lane is com peled 10 wri,he under the oppression of powerful corporations. This is sad il Is more sad 10 think that the gentleman WAS not allowed 10 cripple the prospects ot the state
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

The merehan, local he pu, in the paper, And 500 dollars il brought 10 h,s till: His wife got a sealskin, his son 20, fue horSe-aesh, And he gave the editor ST bill.
 III slss~5tors Br1sSfass Task. Then the merehan, he pu, . page ad. in the paper, And ii brought him in custom for one box O. collars; His wife got scolding his son a sound thrashing, And the editor got about two hundred do; lars
 -Cfzeiss1h Ssfx,isx NsxSf
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

The Georgfd .Kajor. humorous and literary eight-page journal. published a, Atlanta by Small X Williams, has just made its appearance. and from its very face you can see that it will immediately take rank as a leading journal and a re- lection of Georgia's good humor. Sam Small, "Oid Si. formerly of the Consk- tation, is member of the firm. or more properly speaking. of the staff. He has . national reputation as a humorist. and will no doubt make the .hlioy great fa- vorite among people who draw pleasure from the news stands.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

Al this writing spring Is blowing its gentle breath over Arkansaw but as wood is five dollars cord and coal correspond
 ingly high, blighting sleet will fall by the time lhis item IS impressed on paper.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

THt lower Mississippi IS rising rapidly and the coiored gentleman Is fondiy look ing forg ard to the time when the gov efnmen, will issue meal and bacon.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

Damon & Pee,s' Pyoof .Sheet, New York, has been recently changed in form and greatly improved It is now not a mere publication intended alone for the typographical fraternity. but is a masa- zine of reading matter instructive and of universal interest.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

RICHARD WAGNER, the great German composer. is dead. It IS to be hoped that his musical followers will stop quarrelins until the gloom of the last sad rites dis aDneaT>
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

II Lord Bacon, as some literary cranks assert, wrote the plays attributed to Shakespeare merely as recreation from laoorious toil. il is great pity he didn't reoreate more and toll less.-C Ck<<k.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

We do not care whether the French oanish Prince Napoleon or not. As he knows no English he can't come oves here and lecture--Erckaage.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

Rsxyed af Ae Po,feaee af L.nlt Rect, A,k.. ~ serond tlaH gsGI maffey.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24
rEkNlS oF sunscRIPTIoN:

Any part of the United States or Cana da, One Year. postage paid, S2.oo Other Countries, One Year, postage paid. 100 Postmasiers, or others, sending us five or more yearly subscriptions to the AkkANsAw TRAVELLER, may retain 2S per cent oi sub serp,ion price commission. Advertising rates furnished on application. Requests of subscribers to have their pa sers mailed 10 a new address. to secure atten- tion must mention former as well AS present address.
 Send money by P. o. order, or registered etter. Address,
 READ 6 BENHAM,
 LITTLE ROCK, ARK.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24
JOURNALISMS.

The HTkson .Sif!ings, Wilson, N. C., has just attained the age of one year It exhibits from week to week marked improvement, and in every way it seems to be a success.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-24

Some men pray to the Lord as though He were an edi.or of society paper de- voted to taffy.- 7ays<ys EalI RroyEry
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-03-09
DESIRABLE RESIDENCE FOR Sale,

One OF the most cligibly located and desirable
RESIDENCES in the city of Alexandria is offered
for sale
The dwelling contains twelve fine rooms with
bath room, kitchen, wash house, &c. and the
grounds are spacious, handsomely laid of and
have OH them Il ,ine grape arbor and various kinds
OF bearing fruit trees.
FIVE most desirable BUILDING LOTS, front.
ing 70 feet on Prince street. will be sold separate
y or as whole on advantageous terms.
Eor further information, terms, &C., &C., apply
to either DR.. NJ. NJ. LEWIS, or EDGAR SNOW
DEN. Executors of the estate of the late ]. II.
Brent. oct19-tf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-03-09
WOOD And COAL.
NEW COAL AND WOOD YARD,

desire to inform my friends and all who use
the articles that have opened a
COAL AND WOOD YARD
on the Wharf, between Prince and D1ke streets
that | intend to sell as low as any conecrn in the
city, and customers may rest assured 5aat THEY
WILL RECEIVE, IN EVERY INSTANCE, 224O
lbs to ton of ccal and 12S cubic feet to cord OF
wood
Ifnot convenient to come to y,rd orders may be
left at the hardware store of b. Z. Pcake, corner
King and Pitt streets, or feed store of +. j. Pol
lard, corner King and Henry streets, which will
be duly appreciated promptly attended to, and
goods DELIVERED to any part of the city free oi
charge. Orders from the country solicited.
G. II. SCHAAFF,
Formerly Proprietor of Chinese Tea Store
GEO. STRUDER,
JNo. B. LAPHES. oct1O-tf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-03-09
FANCY GOODS. MOTIONS, &C.. &c.

HOSIERY. GLOVES, Handkerchefs, Collars
and Cuffs, III great variety.
LADIES and CHILDRENS MERINO VESTS
and PANTS, all sizes and qualities.
ZEPHYR WORSTEDS Germantown Woods and
Knitting Yarns, in oil shades and colcrs.
scp29 G.. C. BERRY, 70 King st.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-03-09
Oa=ettG.
PUBLISHED DAILY AND TR1-WEEKLY BY
EDGAR l. SNOW D EN-,
at the Gazette Building, Nos. 70 & 72 Prince st

DALEY TEi-WEEkIY.
ono year fboo Unc year 81 90
SiX months. 200 Six months ..... 200
Que month 80 Three months . 90
All communications should be addressed to GAZETTE,
Alexandria. Va
The Gazette Office Is connected with the Telephone EN-
change. Advertisements orders for tho paper new.
ornny information ar business lie sent by tc!e-
phone.
Persons leaving the e.sy Tor tho have the
Gazette mailed to them, post paid for afy per
month, and the address changed ~ often desired.
Contract advertisers will not nc allowed to exceed their
space unless the excess paid for transient rates
and under no circumstances will they be allowed TO
advertise othcrthan their Legitimate business in the
space contracted for.
All transient advertisements must be paid for in adj
vance.
Marriage and death notices be pnid III advance
Price fifty cents, when not exceeding six lines.
RESOLUTIONS in mcmoriam, of thanks tributes of respect
resolutions adopted by societies persons unless of
public concern, will only be printed in this paper as
advertisements.
Entered at the costouice at Alexandria Virginia. 20
sccOn1-class mattcr.l
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-03-09

WIN LANNON,
WHOLESALE
GROCER AND LIQGUR MERCHANT,
Corner Market street and Strand,
Alexandria, Virginia.
AGENCY DUPONT"S SPORTING. MINING; ard
BLASTING POWDER.
~ full line of celebrated pure old Whiskics,
Brandics, Gin. Rum. &C., Massey l. Co.'S. Phila.
delphia and Claggetts Baltimore Aes and Berger
& Engefs Lager Beer, in casks or bottles.
Agent for the POTOMAC RIVER STEAMERS.
Orders promptly attended to and consgnments
sollclted my1-tf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-03-09

mo man can be wise Oh an empty stom-
ace" Otherwise is what we would prefer
to an empty stomach.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-03-09
TlIS. HOY.
dec1otf SW. cor King and st. AsapiI sts.
The Old Dominion Clear Factory,

COR. KING AND FAIRFAX STS
Manufactures all grades of Cigars from the
choicest Havana and Domestic Tobacco
Many of our brands have grown into popular
favor, and may bc had from the principal ohbcrs
throughout Virginia and the adjoining States, or
direct from us.
In our RETAIL DEPARTMENT we have a full
line OF SMOKING and CHEWING TOBACCO,
and SMOKERS SUPPLIES and many articles
suitable for presents. such aS Genuine Mccrschaum
Pipes, Cigar and Cigarette Holders. Cigar and
Cigarette Cases; also Cigars packed in boxes of %
each, ranging in price from 6oc to 500 per box.
dcc) STEINER & YOIlE, Agents
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-03-09
Stoves, Ranges, Furnaces. &c.

The undersigned has in store fall stock Of
STOVES. RANGES and FURNACES. which he
will sell on the most accommodating terms. and
will guarantee perfect satisfaction in all cases.
kinds OF work in his line. such as ROOFING
GUTTERING, &".
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-03-09

Learning makes man fit company for
bimself," and that is about all some men
are fit for