The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-07-14
MARRIAGE AND MARRIAGE.

for the press that she was not married, and
that she was not going to marry the gentle
man reported to be engaged to her. ''For
what reason should 1 marry?' said the lady.
81 am making more money than 1 know
what to do with" Analysing this utterance
it is equivalent to saying that if she had not
enough money to crafty her desires she
would marry in order to obtain it. Mrs
Leslie has thus ingenuously stated the senti-
ment that reigns in the minds and hearts of
many an unmarried woman, who is unmar-
ried only because no eligible offers
have presented What is the end of
matrimcny to women, that it can be
weiged in dollars or in what dollars will
buy? Is the money-getting faculty ali that
is desirable in man? If So the world has
gone wrong from the beginning, and nature
is a cheat when she allows the best and most
lovable to marry for love. The woman
whose only excuse for not marrying is that
she can support herself, or she who will not
marry until she can be kept in luxury, is no
woman at ALL If she be the widow of man
who was spendthrift, who by his loose
way left her in poverty from which she is
slowly emerging through her own endeav-
ors, her prejudice is excusable. But if she
be only calculating to pander to vanity or to
insure life of freedom and idleness, the
case is wholly different-she is unworthy
love and companionship.
A business woman like Mrs. Leslie may
entitled TO the esteem and respect of all.
These she generally gets-these and nothing
more She asks no more and deserves no.
more. Marriage, in its noblest sense, is not
bound by silks and satins by carriages and
velvetearpeted parlors. Were it so, the
domestic happiness of the world would be
very circumscribed indeed, and but few out
of the myriad millions of marriages would
be blest with love and contentment. 1t is
not argued that true marriage and the fullest
consummation of its objects are not possible
to the rich, but that all its conditions
may be perfectly met by the poorer
classes The woman who will not
marry because she is able to support
herself, defeats the laws of nature without
adequate recompense. 1t is not enough in
this life to eat, sleep, drink and die. The
meanest animal on earth does better than
that. The lowest order of instinct is infn-
itely above such view of life.
In marrying there are other considera-
tions, it is true, than simple love or personal
preference That is essential to bliss; but
there are other elements in the human heart.
and brain that are essential to peace, and
without peace happiness is out of the ques-
ton. The man who is not rich should be
possessed of habits OF thrift that will
with prospect OF better things
to come as the years go by. In addition to
this admirable quality he should be possessed
of those nober qualities of heart that will
preserve his gentleness and consideration
through all the vicissitudes of life With
these, scarcely any trial will suffice to defeat
love and prosperity. Without them, moth
ing is secure. Riches often take wings to
themselves and fly away and if union be
founded on them it is liable to crumble and
overwhelm those who felt so secure in it.
Riches are not to be despised. But there
are manly qualities against which they can
never weigh. AS a means of sup
port they are well enough, but
as a contamination they will only
bring disappointment, or leave heart and
soul to unconsciously starve and to perish
without realizing why. These ideas may be
scoffed at by some as very pretty but ilnprac-
teal speculations But he or she who en-
tiers into a life relationship without aims and
ambitions above the mean level of money
will be almost sure to awaken, sooner or
later, to realization of loss that is ire
parable. To marry with the determination
to meet all the duties of life with patience,
ali It's trials with fortitude, and to drink in
all its blessings with true gratefulness of
heart, is almost certain to result happily.
The man who unites himself to wom-
an with the full knowledge of his
obligations 10 her, and with the almost I'M
conscious but none the less well-defned idea
of family springng up about his hearth
stone, to live and to labor for her and for
them, to center all his affections upon them
and to exert all his energies for their welfare
and happiness, is the noblest specimen OF
manhood to be found. The woman who
realizes her true relationship to the man