davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19
NeIfatnus.

- FIRST BAPTIST CHURUH-Corner Of
syehmors and Patterson avenue. Rev 4. T.
Dr. J. l.. Williams, superintendent. Preaching
come 10 all -
nrFlRsT CHRISTIAN CHURCH, CORNER
oi Bryan and Psarl streets sunday school al
y'o a m: preaching At II a. m, ana at $50
p m oy V, J. surmsn, All are invited
- ST, PATRICK'S CHURCH--Corner Wood
and Cabell streets First mass at $50. solemn
IlRh mass al 10 0. n sermon Sespers Rt
10Y p m Lecture, BencdiGtinu. Rev v.
Vuihon, pastor residonua 1900 Main street
ns-CoNhERCE Sc CHRISTIAN CHURCH.
sunday school al GSOa m. Preaching at II a
~ ana p IN. Experimenting Thursday
10 DALLA1 Gay MISoIUN-uuSptl scr, ice
Mission sunday-school tn s afternoon at the
courthouse singing commences at $50. Sun.
aay'school proper at 4; singing also after the
10 all.
G6FLoYp STREET NJ f. CHURCH SOUTH
-kev J W. Hill pastor. Preaching at II a.
m Gnd z p. IN. Sabbath school at $3.50 y IN
Acordial invitation extended 10 ALL
ns-CONGREGATI0NAL CHURCU-Comer oi
harwood and Bryan streets. Rev l. c. sconpld,
pastor. Services at II a m. and S o. m. Bible
school at l&lj p m, A hearty welcome to all.
B5rABERNACLEM i. CHURCH-Rey. 3
a. thomson, pastor Services at II a. III. and
ESO m, Sunduy.schO0l aJ $50 D. n Seats
iree Inllic cordlslly Invited
DtrEiBsI PRESBYTERIAN CuTRCH-Ior-
ner Main and H1rwo-d streets bcy. A +.
9mNn' pastor. Preaching 40 u y IA. end
p ~ sab1atB- chuol 49, $50 M. Tho
pnh 70. reHgr4Iy Invited. 50 pre- ching to-Jgy
r~tuNH rEa-HYf EsiNE TUTECU--
'It' iiHf"o.t street. Hav. ID W. ENucu.au.
p'. l'l .taWFt w anal % 30. s.UrH'l-
.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19

n uIlCE - CONTRACTORS 5bNlED
" mds TIE received by tho Commits. .on.
oH Govt of kaufman county fysus an 10 n
ln1 AtVla I 2L Cor tbecT'otou ufajal buila-
ing H, 'eAi ui snld county, iu accordance with
pl4ns tud specifications prepared Tor mmp by
j. q tIarueIs AlChilvtL Dallas, Blswil be-
received separate Tor The building pr0pcr and
lcr toe lail W rs Bidders for he d work To-
submit spec lien Ions, Spmples and Testimonials
OF tano with thUir bid. aud plgcc same ON d @
WIN ouuaV clerk. Plans and specifications wilt
he ON lle with tnDtuuptg clerk of 'aid county
at kaufman on end tncr the 10th day Of An.
gust Jail work bids must conform with the
plans ~ general shape and management
J y UIlIAED. CDuutv TDdgn
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19

Ar least one of the South American re-
publlcs is an admirer oflho United States
In Venezuela the other day an audience
cheerod the United States and the govern
ment PROPOSES to erect in the chief city n
statute to GENERAL WASHING
TON. This friendly feeling OF
the part: OF Venezuela towards us is little
singular: when II Is remembered how oRru
aud the Venezuelan claims commission
robbed that republic a few years ago
Among nations Us among individuals. II
seems that the hand that caressCs you Is
the one that you have injured.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19

ltmay interest and, possibly, profit the
citizens, tradesmen and laborers OF other
states to learn that there Is a very decided
demand throughout Texas, AT least In
north Texas, for workmen OF all kinds, both
skilled and uuskilled, The extraordinary
boom that struck this state ZONE two or
three years ago has continued uninter'
ruptedly to the present time, and activity
is seen in all the varied departments of
labor here. The great crops that have been
raised by our people this year, and for two
or three preceding, have tended to give not
only stability but extension to the work OF
general development and improvement
that we have witnessed throughout the
state of late. Building is going ON of ali
kinds in Dallas and pretty much all
the important towns in the state.
Enterprises, too, Of every kind are
being started or enlarged. Added to this
is the fact that large cotton cror
1, about to be- gathered. In this latter
character ofwork, cotton picking. 'rr T.,
years past there KID Nv w. M, Patterson
taining go
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19

IT does not seem to DO generally known
that perhapsa greater undertaking than
spanning the East river with bridge from
New York 10 Brooklyn is now under head
way under the North river from Jersey
City to New York, This enterprise is the
cutting oftwo tunnels, seventeen wide and
seventeen feet high each over mile in
length from Jersey City to New York, One
Of the tunnels is to be used for trains goln
into, and the other for trains leaving New
York. The popularity ofthe soil and the
plans adopted to overcome natural diflleul
ties aud render the work success will Goa
stitute these parallel tunnels when com
pleted one Of the grandest engineering feat
Of the century.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19

An, brlghteyed, sunny.hearIod child
hood with cheeks all dimpled with sweet
simplicity, aud the essence Of char ty res,
ident OF inc warm hlooded breast, where
love is the current coin In the wealth of al.
iections. And Il is because this is all
true that the little ones whose napes ap-
pear below, organized in secrecy, and prac.
tced With enthusiasm tho little operetta
entitled Tho Fan Brigade, They called
themselves the Cedar Club, and gave their
nist performance the past week, at tho res
iuenoe oil Colonel .. 5. Mitchell In the 80
dars," Not only did they teach
themselves, .bronly neIveu v.,,ln le.',
oMn pnfp' conflict.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19

teachings Of their Master, Nfattgys N n,
things in common, aud sold their posses.
sions and goods, and divided them with all,
as every man had need.n The same state.
ment is repeated still more fully and dis.
tinotly in the fourth chppler OF the Acts;
"There was no one among them that
lacked" Glands and houses were sold, and
the produce laid at the Apostles feet for
general distributions" neither said any
man that Nught OF what he possessed was
his own, but they had all thinga common"
Surely language could not be palmer.
THIS may seem like dangerous doc.
trine, but as MIR. MILL has somewhere OBJ
served, mo one can be a true thinker who
does not recognize that as a thinker Il is his
first duty to follow his intellect to whatever
conclusions II may lCadh so, II we find
that present ownership of land traces II,
title back to those who seized and possessed
Il only by force Of arms rap,ne aud supe
rlor physical power or cunning, We an
compelled to the. conclusion that the title II
indeed defective. SO, too, II we admit thai
exclusive private ownership may be legally
permitted for one acre, the area under III,
prnciple becomes llmitless, and any doEel
or any one man may possess TIL
whole earth, and keep out int,
space any individual Of the entire 400
900 900 individuals, the worlds population
who may be found trespasslng upon II.
the waters.aro tree, and the air Is free, VIII
. should not the land be equally soS VII
!. shall say tina, the one thing is different tvs'
3 the other in the matter of ey-''-''''Sno'
y shipf Who can ~ owg cuNrig, "
!, Az .'rls, ~ lo .iidWrNcG c,gu suN no a, VI
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19

Mr., J. h. Henderson, H-uN M. 'N 80
Henderson, of Marshall, are Wsrk ana Nh.
family of our fellow-townsman, ESQ
Wynue, est
johnnie Williams, Of Pilot Point, and
win Ketchum, OF Hubbard City. are spend
ing few days in Wills Point, with their
former comrades.
Mr.. Harry Childress left town on Mon.
day morning for Canada, where he will re-
main, perhaps, three Years.
DR., Il, l.. Wynne ana wife left town yester-
day evening for Kilgore, where they will
remain about one month, when they will
return.
Mr., @. V. johnson the popular district
clerk OF Smith county, in spending few
GAYS in Wills Point. Wills Point, or some
one OF her people seems to have some at
fractions for Mr.. johnson.
LoNuvIHw.
Mrs. Tom Campbell went TO Shreveport
Tuesday for brief visit,
Miss Gerard, of WsNahacAie, IA visiting
w. G. Northoutts family,
Robert Luckett has gone back to Louisi-
ana for three weeks visit.
Miss Mary Pogue, of Marshall, is visiting
sheriff Killingsworth's family.
Miss Fannie Lewis has left for Louisville
and other northern points. tN
| Mrs ktliov w'o hp-h.'''-s' .''vn ny uloua
| III NNNMIN nFH lNMNFN.NI. IA Is SLIM
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19
~ A'artnersNin slntinr.

WE HAVE THIS DAY ASSOCIATED Our.
w solves tCge ner uUdcr the finn name of
smith ~ Ihacker, as insurance agents We
solicit fair share Of public pat,onsge. OGl,e
14l Elm street, dallas, Texas.
q, H. SMITH
augl-1m w III TUACLFR
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19
9!nuud

kouNp. AZ Hur SPRINGS. A GoI.nriv,i
A. WIN inilnROn H. Owuuc can nav, 's,,,
ug CaiL'ns@ Herald Office dtsciibinr sr,,c ,,'
paying advertisements ''.,'Uu :,
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19
9mkham's Compound.

form, but Il cancer has alreHI. y
we will cease concerning ourselves about,
As we feel, so doubtless feels the rest OF the
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19
nl.tg's tgact.



Fr8htsnisease o. the Xidneysr a fa,rf,,
'oumSr, which spares n,iher s'a s, ,s" ,
'',lAa!s' 'ul,s ul iuraTabla dlspase nrI.
COR lNt Wlnl OF timely attention. If ri.vs5y
'g'h l' itqaEts unchecked Wtilit Inns fsstsW'
~ uleu Ihe NlAl5 OF ilS victim no m1JIeaI
Skin esu release It's hold, it elaigS its nrn, @
timely use of ''''u'@i'l'
Smith's Extract Of Nay Flower
WIN positively prevent such results. In rroo,
this Insertion, We cite yOu to the npmb6,iOO
testimonials in Our posseSi a. and 0unta saas
eminent authorities as Dr. mi Tyes of Ne,, 'y W.
Ven, conn, aud br King Compiler of tiipaPs
Dspensatoiyl Askyour own physician ifibsssss
HJieSs are anthoIies, Aud decide for yourself
NuetilGr you Wlll ,Scrihce Your life rather Than
1Iier your prejudice 10 an advertised mcSI'
''"uOy Declue now II may not re too late.
hHiih'S Extract of May Flower
.iion f5Ss own semedy Itisuo vile consoc.
MuY Flower IS MODEST little plant whicS
EtOWspn New Foundland, III PeunsyIvauia a,,I
, Nennilhy' M 9llfetlc AID astrnsent In ifs
i,s't W., alu pas quently been used h
BtSA advantage in OiarThpa and Eowei Co' "
plants OF children. Its great merit hoy ovn.'
- l1iP genie ana eihoient action on the Mi.
neys, IL removes all in .urlues throngb nam.
l "a fn@lnel,: aAd restores tho system Ia n
~ ~ V6,nula9n promptly relieves mains
- we pack Hnd IONS In eases 0fweak and dai.
igllf females, its value IS beyond compnloti Hg
pW inf me natural modesty of woman Union
'gllses her 10 shrink from newspaper pnbIiaItv
HR might publish hundrgds or testimonidls ~
tI pisl, ro,,s negt dtTiySa from its use.
ss oI,HtE Rewd raiefuly the omular arouad ,6s
'pu'e' IL is yours 10 choose between
Eesl'h, Happiness aud Lie,
DISEASE Misery and Death
Prepared .ly by S. 3 SIN. n e IRA. GOWN.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19

I Cse AcAer's English kuncdv for cor.
sumption, Solu hwy n Patterson Is Go.
/ Dead shot on stlcw worms, paNefs1u'g
/ pclchs.tup LinlmcAt ASK Gay druggist.
Ores hu sts pNd olrriagca are rusnn-
lCet o. tCprsgutod Try him once, az ri
| Main street
broom Cora Wa,wd,
! Mehei pyice paid l9t 20 az hOtory, on
| lps Of Texas s Paeiio road, Ess Dallas.
WM pTouIa.
es - a-Ha.aa-Haaa=
| Apprentices wanted az Bauman's, 20
Elm street.
sl eaaasa=--a
orr's buggy and carriage house Is the
place you get style and choap prices and
gooi goods, ~ Main street,
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19
0uEENswANIl

N oVOrArNSA ro.pAr. tp fu,
ASsoRTrp CRArES-i0 uOalb O1tr i1l b
TIM NfERS-Shufsl 90 ncr d0Ion, 2 hQli %
per hns; fohlcis. 90 per hnrrel
STONNWA Re--Pcf 10 gallons, 10 o.
lAMr,--h H.. 1 ~ q. n, 2 90 lamp chin.
ncys. 90 per box: essOrei caSg lamps, " 90
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19

Necigwear and Ladies' Underwear
az BAuInan'a, 700 BIN strut.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19
/. E. CURTIS, JsWaa Corner of Main & Puydras strp,t,

Diamonds, Howard Watch
20, Walll.Am, Elgin, SPRING.
field and Lancaster Watches,
IN Cola and silver Gases; fine
Swiss Watches. An elegant
new stock OF Jewelry, Rings,
fine Gold Sets, Necklaces,
LockeH and Chains, Ear
drops, Gold Pins, Bracelets.
rhimrleS fine assortment OF
Sic Buttons, Sruds, Gold
sps .aoles and Eyeglasses,
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-08-19
rue HARVEST PLENTEoUs, But LA
BoRERs FEW

south.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1883-08-04
HOUSEHOLD HINTS.

A pretty ornament for q window
sash is an old hat. Ram it up to the
brim and trim with Hamburg edging.
A cheap and pretty bedroom curtain
is made by pinning up an old shirt
by the sleeves. Never ask for soup
twice. 1t is very ill-bred to sit at
the theatre and call out s'Supe!
snpe!" Aninexpensive and improved
tidy is made from an old dishcloth;
trim with tarred rope and ornament
with bows of red tape. Attach
sockdollager fishhook at the top, ar d
the guest will carry the article to his
next calling place hitched to his coat
collar instead Of dropping it in the
front hall as usual. A lovely toilet
cushion can be evolved from large
white turnip; trim with Hoiiton lace,
brass bugles and passementerie, fluted
up the back aud gored in the centre
with polonaise of gunny bagging
and demi-train of crash toweling cut
pompadour. This will.rsaie sim
pie but tastefui addition to the toilet
table.-Boston Commercial BuIie-
tin.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1883-08-04
REAL AND IDEAL.

The following story is told of the
late John limbs, formerly a SUBJ
editor of the illustrated London
Ne,os. limbs, having a woodcut
Of hop-field, sent a proof Of it to
special correspondent, and asked
him to go down to Maidstone, visit a
hop-garden, take note of all he saw
and heard, and describe the scene
as faithfully and accurately as he
could. The Especial went down
into Kent, spent day and a night
among the hop-pickers, and then
came home and wrote his descriptive
column. The next day he took it
to the Office and handed it to the
venerable sub. Mr.. limbs adjusted
his spectacles and began to read;
but before he had got through the
third side of the copy he burst out
with-'sWhat's this, Mr.. Jones? Do
you really think we could put this
in--oaths, intemperance. impiety,
debauchery? Why, sir, what were
you thinking about? This will never
dop mo, l thought not,,' replied
the writer; 'but you'll remember
you told me to describe exactly
what I saw and heard. 'sYes,
yes; but really, you know" angrily
interrupted limbs, 'this is too gross,
too igross!" perhaps this will do
better2" calmly remarked the
especial" handing him another
manuscript. "Read it, sir, read it,"
said the sub-editor. The journalist
read it, and his nearer was charmed
such we'll turned phrases, such
happy couceits, such poetic descrip-
tious! eyes, that's better, Mr..
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1883-08-04
'sYou can make it as far as you

''You can make it as far as you
please"
II mean how near is it?''
''That'll sorter do. 1 don't know"
'Is this atemperanee community
''Sorter." fe,.tPsts
''How long has it been since you
had drink"
cit amt been more than a month,
but it seems like couple Of years."
"What would you give for
drink"
"A common sized mule"
GIVE got some very fine stuff
here in bottle have some?'' 5l
The native grasped the bottle
eagerly and drank.
''What is it you want to know"
''The road to the river"
The native took another drink and
said: l. a.
"The rivers right over yonder,
but the ferry man will charge you
like thunder if you amt got no whis-
key. Good day
When the traveller arrived at the
ferry he found his friend of the store
standing in the boat waiting for him.
"Halloa, here we are again.
What will you take to row me
across?" a. .-.e,
elbow much have you got?'
II mean, what is your price?''
s'Three drinks and the cork
''Why do, you want the cork?"
"Want to put it in the churn to
make the milk taste natural. -4r-
kansGso Iraveler.ys
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1883-08-04
THE souAr1Ea's SPIRIT.

81 The spirit of the renowned old
squatter still fingers in the land. Jsi
{ (which road shall'I take?" ask
ed a traveller Of a man who sat on
the steps Of crossroad store ~
(Which one doyou want?"
s"I intended to ask which one
should I take to lead me to the riwer?"
''What river?" .s
"Why, the Arkansaw." g
"You want to know which road
leads there?" rna ,-e.al
"Yes, sir" m n o@.
GLOW long have you been in this
country?'' a
'sThat makes no difference how
long you We been here, but there amt
a geography of this neighborhood,
but there was a lot of 'em in the
school house when it burned"
SLOW far is it to the river, any
way?" 1 la .a
swell, any way, it's about two
hundred miles"
"Oh, how far is itI" . .
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1883-08-04

critic has replied with an examina-
tan of the Professors methods. 1t
appears the latter fluids that during
the decade in question the whites
increased by about 20 per cent, and
the blacks by 81 per cent. From
the whites reduction is made of
per cent. for a guess at the i'm
migration received by America dur
ing the decade, which is regarded
as a very bad guess; and from the
blacks s per cent. is deducted to
allow for guess at the extent of
the omissions by the census of 1870.
But this per cent. is afterwards
restored on the ground that "an
obvious consideration points to the
conclusion that the blacks will for
the future develop i'll the south un-
der conditions more and more
favourable" The Professor further
reasons that as 20 per cent. of
increase i'll ten years implies a
doubling in 35 years and as 35 per
cent. implies doubling in 20 years,
therefore, about century hence
the population will stand as follow:
Northern whites, 24O,O0O,OoO;
southern whites, $4,000, OOO-total
whites, 1856, 600, 900; southern blacks,
192,O00,000. This process is con-
demned for resembling that known
as '.guessing at the half and multi
plying it by two" Population
cannot be gagged by such methods.
His figures generally, moreover, are
called in question, andsi it is pointed
out with regard to the whole SUBJ
ject of the increase of the African,
which is causing SO much alarm,
that the rate of increase of the
white from 1860 to 1880 was 81 per
cent, and that of the blacks 40 per
cent. It is consequently felt by
many that the Government of the
United States would scarcely be
justified in ordering a general
"exodus" of the negroes, underia
population panic, and for the pur-
pose of insuring the continuance of
government by whites.-London
Times. &
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1883-08-04

els the doctor in?" "Dont live
here" said the lawyer, who was in
full scribble over some old docu-
ments. 80 1 thought this was his
Office" "Next door," "Pray, sir,
can you tell me has the doctor many
patients?" "Not living" The old
gentleman told the story in the
vicinity, and the doctor threatened
the lawyer with libel.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1883-08-04
the WONDERFUL GyAscUTUs.

the WONDERFUL GyAsCUTUs.
Tom Clyma, of North Butte,
captured by means of steel trap, a
few days ago, an animal supposed
to be a marten. In some respects
the animal resembles a fox aud is
quite curiosity. The most singular
thing about the quadruped, if report
be true, is that the legs on one side
of its body are several inches shorter
than those on the other side. Should
such prove to be the case the Great
ure is undoubtedly gyascutus. an
animal always exceedingly rare,
and which has long been thought
extinct. 1t is never found in other
than hilly regions, its peculiar struc-
ture uniting it for level country.
BY reason Of its peculiar onesided
development the gyascutus is, how
ever, adapted for living on mountains
and hills. 1t can walk with ease on
on the side of a steep slope, where
even a goat would have a precarious
foot hold. The animals strange
structure, unfortunately, is in one
respect great disadvantage. While
it can travel around hill from right
to left with the utmost ease, it can
not retrace its steps. So long as its
left side is toward the hill the Great
ure stands as firmly as tree, but if
oblidged to turn the other way it's
footing is lostimmediately and it rolls
helplessly to the bottom of the slope.
Hunters Of the gyascutus, whose fur
was held in high esteem, used to a
vail themselves on this fact to cap
ture the animal. 1t was useless to
pursue agyascutus on it's chosen path
as the animals locomotive arrange
ments gave it exceptional speed.
The hunters therefore adopt the ar
tifice of travelling around the hill in
a direction contrary to that pursued
by the animal, and, meeting it face
to face, had no difficulty in securing
it. Where a. hill was isolated and
circular there was a little difficulty in
capturing the creature, but on a
mountain range many miles in length
pursuit of the gyascutus was hope
less, for it would run along the side
of the Sierra Nevada from Siskiyou
to San Diego in a single day, re-
turning to its starting point on the
day following by way of the Coast
Range. If the animal caught at
North Butte should prove to be a
gyascutus, it would have great scien-
tific interest. -Marysvi1Ie appeal.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1883-08-04

Jones, much better--jdst what
wanted. Allow me to congratulate
you" "Ah,' said Jones quietly, II
thought you would like that! 1t is
what / wrote before 1 went down to
Maidstone -
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1883-08-04
ACKNOWLEDGED HIS SIGNATURE.

A man from neighboring town
wished one of our banks to take his
note, short time ago. The directors
said they would cash his note if his
brother would indorse it. The next
day in came the man with his brothers
signature on the note. The bank
took it and paid the money. When
the note became due the signer did
not pay it, and the bank notified the
brother. That gentleman came into
the counting-room in amazement,
and asked, "What have you against
me?" ri rf
"Didn't you indorse note for
your brother?" asked the cashier.
''Not that / know of, replied the
man. a37ss
'Isn't this your signature?" de-
manded the bank official, producing
the note. ..a .sa
The man looked at his name, writ
ten on the paper, and rubbed his eyes.
eyes," said he, "that's my sig
nature, sure but l should think he
might have allowed me to write IT'LL
CHartfotd (Conn.) Globe. 30 ng
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1883-08-04

A story is told to the effect that "a
drunken reporter stumbled into his
Office late one night. The city editor
said to HIM: "Hello, Sam! drunk as
usual" "No," he replied, mot
near so drunk as usual. I can write
my name. "-[Washington Capital.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1883-08-04

A young politician explained the
battered condition of his trousers to
his father by stating that he was I'M
der an apple tree enjoying himself
when the farmers dog came along
and contested his seat.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1883-08-04

Here is an "Essay on Man"
rather more concise than Pope's.
1t consists of the following canto:
'H@ Mans vapor, - -. l''
Fai Full of Woes ~ t@3sl
r Starts a paper, f a1
Busts and goes. uit