The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1883-07-21
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HOW TO MARRY A RICH GIRL


admirers u question that haunts you.
Success will be easy il you know how
TO go TO work. In the first place, you
must get all mercenary thoughts out Of
your mind TO do this there is moth
ing like early rising and a cooling diet.
Having gotten yourself into wooing
condition set about the task with busi.
neSs-like determination.
Improve every opportunity ofgctting
into the company Of the millionaire S
daughter, but always appear entirely
unconscious Of her presence. IL you
chance to find yourself near her, 20 to
another part Of the room and pay court
TO the homeliest and most neglected
girl in the house. Tell your best stories
and display your choicest wit pres
emily you will have a crowd Of listeners
who will hang upon your words and be
swayed by your cloquencc. The rich
young lady will hear the murmurs of
applause aud for time remain oh
livious to the sensation your are max
ing; then she will grow uneasy, and
give nonsensical orders 10 the servants.
She will ask foolish questions about the
weather in Scotland and the fashions
in Holland, and finally, with an ingcni-
GUS air Of indifferent surprise, remark:
al wonder wha, that young man is
saying to those foolish girls"
OF course you hear the young lady
talking, but you must effect entire gnor-
ancc OF her presence, while you con.
tinue your cloquenCe. II will no, be
long before the beautiful heiress will
slyly ask what you are talking about
The repl, will be entirely unsatisfac-
tory. Then the heiress will invite YOU
to sit near her. II you are wise you
will be brilliant and further excite her
curiosity by few words, pointing 4
witticism or two and speedily returning
TO your friends. This will pique the
rich young lady, and her hear, will
burn with anger. As soon as you dis.
cover that she is really interested in
what you are saying and seeks your
society, make preparations TO depart
Go through grand flourish OF leave
taking with your neglected listeners,
keep them amused and smiling until
the very last moment, then politely
take leave Of your heiresS and 20 home
This little manguver Of yours will end
her pleasure for the evening. Precious
little sleep will she &c, that night. All
the fine phrases and flowery compli-
mcnis of her wealthy sui,ors will be
lost in the thought Of how you slighied
\ her.
Unlike men, women are impeiuou,.
They do not wait On the very next
day the heiress will send you an invita-
tion TO attend a party. She will be
there and so will you. On this occa.
sion you must pay her your finest ad-
dress. Do it in fine. delicate but in.
different way. Your conduct will again
perplex the heireSS, but never mind
that.
You must now talk constantly OF her
TO her friends. Tell them that YOU
would like TO shoot three or four Of her
lovers; that if she were not rich YOU
would walk over ten acres OF bayoneis
TO make love TO her. In 4 few DAYS
you will get an invitation 10 another
party. Ii YOU are wise YOU will send
regrets and decline 10 go. Explain 10
her friends that YOU are madly in love
with her, and that your sense OF honor
keeps YOU. from intruding upon her
presence. Send her anonymous bou-
quetS merely writing From friend
on the card Your star now begins 20
rise upon the horizon YOU mus; 60
away for 4 few weeks. While YOU arc
gone write ardent bu; very respectful
letters TO her friends from your place OF
exile. On your return you will get an
invitation TO call on her. You must 20
at once. talk to her as il YOU owned
her, give her good advice, explain youI
views about self control, then change
the conversation until il concerns your.
self. finally hesitate. siammer 4 little,
blush 4 good deal and make the girl
your conhdant. Tell her in a warm
gush OF enthusiasm how much YOU love
a rich girl. but add that you are poor
and feel that il would bc dishonorable
To propose 10 her. In conclusion, say
that YOU intend to leave the city in j
weck-forcver, never to return again.
This will make the heircSs ,rcmble. -
She will ask YOU TO name the girl.
While she catches her breath. blush
again, let your hear; swell and the tears
flow from your ewes. Say with sol
that she is the one YOU love, and thcr
rush for the door. Your sweet. bcauti.
ful heircss will give one cry, fling hcl
arms around your neck and sob 81
love you with all my heart; take me,
etc, while you clasp her 10 youi brcas,
and rain kisses upon her lips. During
this period of divine ecstasy (Which
will seem about two centuries suddcnl,
come to your senses. tear yourself from
the girl and wildly exclaim tha, th,
sacrifice must not be. Say that hcl
friends will rcproach YOU and justl,
accuse you Of destroying the life of !
poor girl. say that You love her too well
TO drag her down to provcrty. cheaT
laundries, etc, etc, etc.
That night YOU will 60 home aCcSaI
with Ccsar's crown upon your brow
and in a few weeks YOU will be married
to a woman who truly loves you with
her whole soul. But not until you
have taken possession Of a noble palace
on the Hudson, with luxury and fine
horses all around you, will YOU begin
TO realize into what depths OF con,cmp,
a sordid man can descend.
ssB-All people have not learned the
art Of leaving place in an appropriat,
manner. When you are ready to de
part, do so at once. gracefully and
politely, and with no dallying. Dom,
say, "lt's about time ! was going
and settle back and talk on aimlcssl,
for another Ten minutes. Some people