Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-25

Wins n Victory and Further Infiame e S
the Female Population.
Toledo Blade -CONFEDERIT X
ROADS (Which is in the State NV Kentucky
| JOoly 10, 1883.-Onless suthin happens
to save us, the old organizashen at the
Corners is gone, and Unite ez well dust
out and seek pastors fresh. The founda-
shens NV the CRATE deep is broken up,
and there is q choice and miscellaneous
assortment Of hell afOat.
Joe Bigler and Pollack got hold of
Issaker Gavitt, and in conjunkshen with
his wife, whom [ wish the devil he'd, hev
organized conspiracy that bids fair to
transform the Corners into Moo Eng
land village and leave me out into the
cold altogether.
It is the same old trubble, Mrs. Bas-
com wood wear her red silk stockins, AID
wood sport her moo silk dresses.
She cooden't help it-no woman kin.
Give sich woman ezs Mrs. Bascom a moo
silk dress and red silk stockins, and she
wood wear EN- eff she knowed she had to
| 60 to the stake the next minnit. Female
vanity is the spring Nv woes unnumber-
ed. Naturally, the wimmin Nv the
Corners rebelled, and Issaker Gavitt's
wife developed an amount of strategy
wich | never supposed any woman ever
he'd.
She compelled Issaker to stay at home
four days last week, and not go to Bas-
CONS at all. We missed him from his
familiar seat, and ther wuz itensifed.
Bascom wuz glowrv, the good old Deacon
wuz sad, and Kernel, M'Pelter murmured
suthin about chaos comm agin. 'Bascom
remarlt that he shood lose the art Nv
writin eff Issaker kept away much longer.
Yesterday about IL a. m. ther cum along
in front NV Bascom's perceshun wich
startled us. 1t consisted Nv a wagon
drawd by one mule, and into it wuz Is
saker Gavitt and his wife, both with ban
ners.
Mrs. Gavitt sot on the left side with
her dress pulled onto her lap, so ez to
expose pair Nv legs half way up to the
knee, clad in pare Nv red stockins, with
patent-leather shoes on the eend Nv EN-,
and she held in her hand a banner onto
! which wuz inscribed these legends:
"My husband hazn't bin 10 Bascom's
Tor four days. He hez chopped cord
wood and sold it He hez MIXED the
COWS and helpt me to churn, and in them
four days we hey sold truck enuff to buy
me these shoes and stocking, with store
garters, and him a billed shirt. The
stockings amt silk, but eff he keeps away
! from Bascom' two weeks longer I will
hev silk stockins and he will hey d e.
cent SCOT Uv cloze."
Issaker kerried banner onto which
wuz this:
cat home and at work four days. A
| billed shirt for the first time sence I wuz
married.
Ez the perceshun passed Bascom's he
tried to drop the banner and git out, but
| his wife held him down in his sect by the
throat. He wuz koxkered and subdood.
The effeck wuz electricked. Every
woman in the Corners cum out to see
Issaker Gavitt's wife in stockins, suthin
that hedn't happened to her for twenty
years. The shoes excited EN- to madnis,
the red stokins made EN- shreek, and
when Joe Bigler jumped into the wagon,
and, ez eff by axident, firted up her
dress so ez to show pare Nv bloc elastic
garters, with white metal buckles, they
abslootly howled. The wimmin Nv the
/ Corners, not warm stockins ez a rool,
don't hev no call for garters, and them ez
to hey alluz bin obleeged to content
/ themselves with a tow string.
Mirandy Pogram saw the site, and
/ she rushed into the Bascom's and took
her venerable father out by the ear.
"What 700 want to do" wuz her re-
mark, sis to go home and go to work.
| Eff Issaker Gavitt kin in four days furnish
his wife with shoes and red stockins by
keepin out Nv BascQm's, 700 kin dress
your dawter sutbin like decent by the
same process. Git"
And the good old Deekin moved off re
gretfully toward his home.
Then Mrs. M'Pelter she cum rushin in
for the Kernel.
''Do you see, sed she, swat Mrs. Ga
witt he'd on? Red stockins and shoes,
and all earned in four days! l will hev
EN- 1,lyself in four days or yoor a corpse.
Wat Issaker Gavitt hez done yoo kin
do.''
And then all the wimmin in the Corn
ers formed themselves into perceshun
behint the wagon that Issaker wuz driv-
en-, and they marched thro the Corners
SQOullQ, 'h0u StOChIuS VI uO HlGdlS!
"Shoes which button or no grub" and
sich incenjary cries. And, wat wuz wuss,
they formed a guard and stood in front
of Bascam's, and whenever one Nv ther
husbands wanted to come in they hus.
tied him off, a committee bein appinted
to worry his ears till he wuz willin to go
home
1t twuz dreary mite we he'd at Bas-
CONS. Their wuz nobody but him and
me, for no man in the Corners dared to
show his face within a mile Nv the place.
Their we sot. and sot in gloomy silence.
Bascom wuz so deprest that he never sed
word the fust timeI stole behind the
bar and helped myself to reviver, nor
did he object the second time. The third
time he lifted his sad eyes and remarked:
"Help yoorself to all 700 want. Every
thing is lost Their is sperit of disor-
ganizashen abroad that will stop Heyin
knows when and where. Help yourself.
The tale mite ez we'll go with the hide"
And in sadnis [ did help myself, till,
Ov.4rcoua with nmOshuI. 7 slid off nv