Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-04-27

TO get up sale and entertainment. What
would be the best way 10 hold the fair p
lJohn.l Hold 'em on your lap, John, If
they don't object.
u yield you the PALM" as the wrestler
SAID after the third fall, rising and Offering
his hand to his antagonist.
Can magazine have more than ore
story with safetyi' Powder manufacturer
Not II they are like the average magazine
story Of the day Remember the Galary and
its lk-whcrc are they now
An exchange says, ''Stilman Flagg conf
United suicide by hanging Friday" Stlman
had better look out for the shade of Robinson
Crusoc.
The latest medical discovery is that kiss
ing cures frtcklcs. We thought we knew
bis Of irctkled girls, but somehow we can't
ma EN- now. Probably We are a little late
in running across the remedy.
"oh, how beautifully your choir sang the
| tedium,' exclaimed Mis-. Bascom Tile
strains Of tior voices were perfectly rava-
ging 80
If married lady in france passes herself
oil as unmarried, she can be fined or impris-
oned. Poor dear creatures. That takes
| away half the romance Of marriage
Pigsk.ns are now utilized for ladies' kid
| gloves. VIII, the gentleman who furnished
the tuphcmism American sable" please
come forward with his little c2logned hand
| book Of synonyms:
The frs; fish the President caught in Flor
| ida waters turns cut 10 have been thirteen
pound catfish, while all Tic newspaper cor
respondents described il us a noble and
| gamcy bass" It's nice for Mr. Arthur to
| have somebody to tell his fish stories for
him.
The western papers make great capital out
of divorce cases, but they don't always stick
to the straight aud narrow path of truth. As
Tor Instance, out in Omaha, petitioner lcs-
tilted that his wife threw latirons at him,
aud otherwise made it unhealthy for Lin to
enjoy the comforts Of home life; whereas the
paper came out aud announced that Mr.. r.
desired 10 part asunder from his wife ON the
ouud tia, she threw limitations at him.
The court withheld decision until after the
paper cane out, but granted a writ immedi-
at ~ after.
| RECENT BOOKS.
| "Why we Laugh by Samuel S. Cox
This is lahored attempt to explain why the
great public goes into parOxysms of cachinna-
ton over the average newspaper joke. Mr..
Cox concludes that surprise is the motive
element Of mirth and hat we laugh at news
paper joke. because they are 50 surprisingly
fla. Mr.. Cox illustrates his theory by sew
cigl examples but our modesty forbids us to
quote.
'liaydn's Dictionary of Dates" We
bought this book because it was cheap, and
We were sick Of surGeiting Oh lauanas and
figs aud Strawberries and such other two
| ior-I-uent stuff, that editors have to cat to
keep body aud soul together. But on tear
ing Off tue covers, we found nothing but a
mess of canned history and hsments Of fact
We accordingly gave the book to our goat,
for dessert, and he ate it with relish. Since
then his hair has come Of and lie is ull
broken out with figures, like grocery mans
bill. lIcnc-forth we shall buy our fruit of
the regular trade.
"Xenophontis Lbri Socratici (Oeconomi-
Gus CJnvivium)." We took up this book
with great deal of interest the par. Of the
title in parcnthess especially attracting our
| off Nn L1,,pti hot vrn mil, l,, al