Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1883-03-13
Gales arro Sketrkts.
fuE oDD-LeoKISe NAN.

A8ouiOo8OlC uOtCl III CHtCCs wv huO0uS
my father. mother, sister and myself.
The two former are long since departed
this life, My sister, young lady travel
ing for educational purposes. or, as old
John Dickens would have said, ''to con-
solidate her modern languages and music"
il now wife and mother. / had just
finished my terms at Oxford and, as we all
fancied we should benefit by change Of
air and scene. we set out for twelve
months Continental tour. In due season
we reached Venice. where | overheard
the remark which suggested the heading
of the present article. Our vis-a-vis was
an English clergyman, with his family,
whom we then met for the first time on
our travels. The eldest daughter, glanc-
ing stealthily at her opposite neighbor.
and with difficulty repessing smile, whis-
pered au,libly enough in her fathers ear:
s.Whxt strange looking young man that
is facing u.s." Hereupon Paterfamilias.
putting his quizzing glass to his eye, and
staring deliberately at the object Of the
remark, exclaimed emphatically: HE is
indeed an odd-looking fellow"
The victim of these unAattering observa
tons was myself / had always been
what a cockney would call "a rum un to
look att Perhaps - other definition
would suit me as we'll. | am not. strictly
speaking. The Ugly Man'-neither am
| 1.-The Lean Man. The Fat Man."
THE Short Man." or The Tall Man"
NV features. individually. are neither plain
nor unprepossessing. Yet the ensemble
-ah there is the rub. There is a screw
loose somewhere. Figuratively, the shoe
pinches. Bm had nv misfortunes been
confined to general popularity Of APP
pearance, shoald certainly have kept my
counsel, and. go to speak, consumed my
own smoke With the pipe Of philosopher.
But it was far more than this. Hereditary
predispositiou had bequeathed to me a
three fold idiosyncrasy. Speech, person
and nervous Organization were alike out
OF tune. The early consciousness of these
failings rendered me, from childhood shy
and sensitive to a degree which more
healthily constituted persons could scarce
ly even imagine; as | grew to boyhood
and youth these feelings became more in
tensified, and when | had reach my eigh-
teenth year, | was literally unable to fire.
quent places of public resort and amuse-
ment. or even to enjoy quiet daily walk.
without undergoing positive torture. My
friends failed not to misjudge me.
and attributed to me, most unjustly.
. morose and misanthropical DISPOSE
ton. | was thus, by sort Of fatality.
deprived OF the natural sympathies and
counsel of those who were nearest and
dearest to me. In due season, my school
days. which had been hourly torture to
me. whether in class room or play. ground
came to an end. Impelled by natural am
bition. and complying with the wishes Of
my parents. | boldly resolved to risk the
ordeal OF university life, with faint
hope-IIeaven save the mark of eventu-
ally embracing the clerical profession. So
| entered my name at college. and in
due time presented myself for matricua-
ton. Alas my amour prOpre was des-
tined. at the outset to be rudely shaken.
CHANGING to encounter, beneath the gate
way OF my college, a merry group of my
fellow-gownsmen, one of them, eyeng
me askance, audibly expressed hope
that "that odd-looking fellow didn't in
tend to come there ~ This was no fstter-
ing welcome, on the part of Alma Mater.
to one so sensitive and self-conscious as
myself
But worse still was to follow. While
undergoing the preliminary examination
in the college hall-in which. in point of
scholarship, had little dread-one oil my
fellow -freshmen remarked to his neigh
Dor: Good heavens, did you ever see
such a phiz! This plunged the iron
more deeply still into my sore and stricken
soul. 1t capped the climax, as it were.
Within less than a week | was forced to
leave my college, and renounce all the
fond and vain hopes which my friends and
myself had built on my university career.
l now became desperate. and threw my
self into various forms Of solitary and un-
social dissipation. Having inherited. from
distant relative a small legacy to enable
me to follow some liberal career
squandered away the whole capital. on at
tanning my majority, with insane reck-
lessness. Having thus reduced myelf to
the condition of the penniless prodigal. |
gratefully accepted the offer of accom-
panying my family abroad.
Byron tells us that foreign travel is the
strongest mental stimulus next to ambi-
ton. Notwithstanding my repeated fail
ures and disappointments, | now chung to
this last forlorn hope of Kidding myself.
by a strong effect, seconded by the influ-
ence of novel and striking scenes of the
incubus of selt-consciousness. | endeav-
ored to counteract NV personal deficiencies
by adopting various modes of dress,
which fancied most suitable for the pur-
pose, regardless OF fashion or expense.
so long as | still had the family
purse to resort to. | studied my imper-
feet enunciation for hours together in my
room. and before my glass. fancying my
self a comedian preparing for his debut.
or an NJ p. rehearsing his maiden speech
To combat my shyness. consulted an ex-
perienced medical practitioner. to whom
fully described NV abnormal symptoms.
and who recommended me to try colored
spectacles. For what added to nv con-
fusion was the fact that whenever people
CHANGED to look at me. the nervous witch
ing and scared expression of my eye nat
urally attracted their attention, and caused
them to stare the harder. But it was all
to no purpose; my fatality still chung to
me wherever went. My voice, indeed.
grew stronger and more emphatic under
the severe training of my Demosthenic
exercises. But its inherent defects be-
came proportionally more marked and
offensive. NV green or blue goggles
for tried every variety and shade of
color-only served to metamorphose my
queer-looking phiz into an exquisite model
for carnival mask.
To give one illustration among a hun.