The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1883-06-30
AN EooENrRIo VISITOR.

A Man who had Important business with
the Governor.
The Governor of Arkansas is gradual
ly becoming acquainted with the zone
gallused" gentlemen who apply for eX-
ecutiVe faVOrs. The other day man
who told the porter that he was born on
the other side of the canebrake, and
should not be interrupted. entered the
executive chamber, and approaching the
Governor, asked:
You're the OVerseer. reckOnp
'I am the Governor"
eyes, that's what lowed"
what can do for yOu?"
81 want pardon"
II cannot pardon you"
"But yOd must. 1t wussen a grand
hog case. l went to the courts and
couldn't get satisfaction, and now
fling myself on the mussey of the
State"
~ don't understand you. What crime
did you cOmmitw -
what crime do you call 1t when a
man marries too Often?"
"Bigamy."
That's my crime. went TO law and
tried to get a divorce, and couldn't get
one. Peer like they didn't have got
none on hand, so l am here now to
cringe in front Of you and ask for Glenn
eney." 4
III still don't understand you. You
married two women, and want to get di-
VOFce from one of them. Why, sir, your
crime isa- -penitentiary Offense."
"YOu are leetle too peert, Governor.
I didn't marry but one woman"
"Then how did you commit bfgamy2"
"By marTyin' once too often.
shouldn't ter married at all. 1 want q
divorce cause l have reasons. | can
put up with a good deal, but when a
woman pOurs skillet of hot grease on
me, then / weaken. She even went so
far as to poison my dog, and put soap on
my shoe strings, but 1 looked at her
with a sweet, sad smile of recognition.
Then she put a lizard In my shoe and
set fire to my cotton hritches, when
wasn't lOOkin', but l looked at her in
lovely meekness, but, sir, when l got
down by my bed side to pray, and she
poured a skillet of grease on me, /
arose to my full height and caVed.
That's the sort of a man am, and that's
why want pardon"
IA pardOn-why, my dear sir, you
have the wrong idea of pardon. You
have not been convicted Of any crime,
and 1 cannot extend executive Glenn
ency where no punishment Is pre-
scribed."
"Mebby, 1 amt made myself clear
enough. I'm going 10 get me plOW
line and whale that woman till she
can't stand up. I'll be arrested and tried
and sentenced. 1 want q pardon certi-
fyin' that my crime is excused by the
Governor in view of the facts, so when
they come and want to come and put
the clamps on me, 1 can haul out the
papers. Don't you seep" and he tried
70 punch the States chief officer among
his executive ribs. Cant do that, you
sayp Well, suppose you give me pa
per statin' that I've been drawed inter
this thing, and that amt as big fool
as the man what clim tree to tell the
man that chopped which way 1t was
gOin' to fall, but that am so devlish
near 1t that all the fun has sifted
through. Won't do that even? Well,
suppose we go down an take snort
What, don't drinkp What sort of a man
are you? IreekOn your election must
have been q mistake, but dinged If
can see how you hold your office. Chaw
flat tobacco all the time reckon. Well,
after all, you have got suthin' to
live for. Good day, sir, an If the State
ever diskiVers my 'complishments an
puts me In here to take your place,
don't hesitate to call on me when you
want favor. low to make a change
In this office from skull-cap to. shank"
Arkansas Traveller.