The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1883-10-17
ChosterRoId's Curiou,ly Crooked stoople.

The more timor0us OCCupiers Of the old
fashioned houses that cluster around the thes-
terfeld parish church have uOtiClt thoroughly
at ease during recent gales. They have retired
TO bed hesitatingly, not 20 slumber, but 70 toss
sleeplessly on their pillows, rendeIedE ervous
by tho thought that the crooked HteepIe, un-
able perhaps to withstand the tsmpestuous
blasts, might come down suddenly and with
even less warning than an avalanche gives.
Luckily these fears had far less foundation
than the spire; and the famous steople, the oh
iect Of much curiosity To all travellers on the
Midland, has not been topDled over by the
fierce gusts that have riOtud in the wrathful
kies." Il is doubtless the most extraordinary
structure in the world, for whichever way
You turn your eye it always seems to be awry."
No one can tell when It was put up, but for al
least five hundred years the grotesqu0ly shap-
ed steeple, with its huge warped timbers, and
cloak Of lead, has doied the tompest's bowling
and the lightnings inCisivo touch. Although
assaulted by many terrible storms the spire still
rises crookedly, but firmly, 80 feet above the
Church tower; and those who love old land
marks and TeliCis Of q by-gone time trust that
It may long remain on its dark stone pedestal,
Cruwning the ancient Church which is not
only rich in lniEhtly monuments but contains
a rib OF the marvellous dun COW killed 10y the
Earl Of Warwick,
The steeple has created more fun than any
Of Gilbert and Sullivau's operas 1t has been
likened to the uplfted tail OF the Dragon Of
Wantley, 10 a COrksCrew, 10 the leaning tower
Of Pisa, and to q man perpetually upsy; while
one writer asserts that il sticks with a mock
gravity air or the Church tower, looking as
comical as Jester on au arohbishoPs back"
There are many legends to account Tor its pc
zft1F.r ah.,n o. F--4rr
old book on Church History states that
Dcrbyshire magician engaged a village black
smith 20 shoe Satan, but the work was done
so oarelessly that Lucifer's hoOf was Vricked,
and the pain made him kick out so violently
on passing Chesterfield Church that he twisted
the spire. Another story charges the King of
Darkness with being the cause Of the steeple's
deformity in an even more laughablc way. It
is TO the effect that Satan, alighting one day &c
rest on the summit of the fabric. had his nose
SO tickled by the incense arising from the altar
beneath, "that be gave terrible sueezc and
not merely shook, but actually twisted the
steeple with this diabolIcal spasm." Yet
third tradition, says the writer Of " Ola and
New Chesterfield cndeavors TO SANDER the
fair sex of Chesterfield in tie efforts TO give a
reason for the steeple's coTksCrew ike form.
Il ungallantly asserts that pretty and virtu-
Jus 'Wotltl Ntlt eNAlAH lll lllH low lr 80 NAaAlN
indeed that when lovely and good woman
approached the Church one day 10 he married
the sieepie was ustonished, and in its astouish-
meni bowed to the bride who possessed such
rare qualities Attempting 10 regain IFS orig
inal position the steeple wrenched its back,
and never recovered its upright attitude; nor
is it likely to do SO until another lovely and viz
tuous woman enters to whispers her marriage
vows IN the Church. But the legend, like the
spire, has been twisted. Il really ought to
say that SO many lovely and yirtuous women
enter the old Church that the steepie is per-
petually bowling in recognition Of their ooueli-
ness and purity" Quite apart from
the fades that have almost become portion
Of its history, the steeple has mere practical |
reason for its leanings than many politicians. .
Ii was straight when first erected. Neither
demons kick nor woman's frailty is response /.