National Republican., 1883-04-20

Better death when work is done than ssrth's
most hvored birth;
Better n child In Gods great houss than the kins
-Gcoros kdeDordld.
AN ingenious Connecticuter is to have a
monument erected 10 him by grateful landlords.
He has patented fire escape that will not work
until the hotel bill has been paid.
WHAT are you going to be 2" asked a gen.
tleman OF bright ten year old West End boy.
"A minister. and take in Europe every SUMNER"
was the prompt reply.-Bo;ton Globe,
On account Of the demand for alligators a
Florida man has begun 10 cultivate them, and has
1900 Of the reptiles ready for shipment They are
to be sent TO all parts Of the country.
IAN oyster weighing over two pounds was
picked up at Raritan bay. Barnum ought to buy
1t to clap on Jumbo's eye In case he gets into a
fight Philadelphia Chronicle. Herald.
o'DoNovAN Rosa says he fred of the
Texas meteor as awarning TO Observation-Disclosures
american His failure lay in the conservative fact
that England always waits till next day 10 see
whether or not she Is hurt. "a
PRESIDENT ARTHUR always lets tho corro-
spondents tell how many fishes he catches, never
saying anything himself. The President has
spondents, Courier Journal.
The buffalo gnat, one Of the pests Of the
south, :has invaded Deshe county, Arkansas, by
the million, and are proving very destructive 10
the stock. Nearly 100 mules In Bollver county,
Mississippi, have been killed by the gnats.
A GERMAN went to Q friend and said: "To-
morrow owe you $4,000. am ruined. can
not pay It, and cannot shleep a wink" The
creditor said: "vy didn't you Walt to dell me to.
morrow" Now neither can shleep Wink"
AFTER the wheat came up on Kentucky
farm sleet storm covered the field with ice. Be-
fore this melted food swept over, and the Ice
rising 10 the surface OF the water pulled every
blade Of wheat out OF the ground and carried It
away.
A THREE legged jackass has been born in
California. His Is an unhappy lot With one leg
too many TO be classod as human and one too
few TO be on q par with the brute variety, be
doesn't know whore he properly belongs.- Boston
Transcript.
SIXTY Mormons recently ordained at Salt
Lake as missionaries arrived In New York ON
Monday. and sailed the same day for Europe.
They are bound for England, Germany, switzer-
land, and Scandinavia to preach and dolude con-
verts to their faith.
PATRICK KURDMoN sold whisky TO Pat
rick Brennan who broke jeremiah Murphy'a leg,
which brought Mrs. Murphy and her six children
to want; but New York court has decided that
Patrick Kurdelon cannot be compelled 10 support
Mrs. Jeremiah Murphy.
AMONG the people at tho Hot Springs Of
Arkansas are Mrs Judge McCrary, Gen. H.K.w White,
ex.G Gov. Stephenson, Of Kentucky, and Mr.. H. r.
Belknap, a son Of the ex-secretary Of war Con-
gresham Reagan, who recently submitted TO Q
q N at ha
THE wonderfully rapid development of
Australia Is suggested by the announcement that
lady who enjoyed the distinction Of being the
Oldest native, and who was born just after the
establishment Of the parent colony OF New South
Wales, died on Jan. 90 In her 96th year. When
she first opened her eyes the total white popula-
ton OF the :" island continent" Just exceeded
1000; now 1t numbers 100000.
A HERD of deer have roamed about in tho
vicinity Of North Waterbury, Me-, for several
years. Although they have sometimes taken up
winter quarters very near the highway they have
been unmolosted until few weeks ago, when
some men from Lowell gave chase To them and
captured two deer, which they took away In
pung. A few days afterward they captured doe
and two bucks. The latter, being unruly, were
hitched to q tree and strangled themselves In
their efforts to get away. Another deer was run
down by the dogs and so mangled that 1t had to
be killed. Great indignation is felt by the people.
A POOR Jewish matchmaker of Kishenev In
Russia has Just completed after two years labor
an ingenius clock which at certain hours Of the
| day plays the national anthem and gives a mimic
representation of the coronation ceremony. When
| the hour arrives tYo doors fly open, disclosing
| model OF the Cathedral Of the Assumption at Mos
COW, where the czars are crowned. Then the gates
Of the cathedral swing back and within appears
| the metropolitan Of Moscow surrounded by dig
nkaries Of the church In gorgeous robes. The en-
| peror aud empress enter and are sprinkledGyith
| holy water; thereupon the emperor takes golden
crown from the metropolitan and places 1t on his
own head, and second crown upon the head Of
the empress, and the doors Of the cathedral close
Tho maker Of this ingenious toy will present II to
their imperial majesties Immediately after tho
coronation, provided, of course, that the police are
sure 1t sontAins no dynamite.
A STORY is going the rounds Of the English
| press which involves very wicked young woman
and q very innocent young curate. She called
upon him in ascetic garb aud closely Veiled, aud
with tears blushes, and confusion confessed that
her errand was one which affected her happiness
| and, she feared, her life. HeexpreSsed prudent
sympathy and invited her confidence, but after
several attempts to speak she could only sob an
entreatY that he would call at her house. He
went and there she found courage TO ayow hope
less love, and begged that she might carry 10 the
grave which yawned before her the memory OF
| one kiss. The curate kissed her calmly and went
home. A few days aftervard he received COM
muncation from the fair creature inclosing an
instantaneous photograph OF himself In the act OF
bestowing the coveted kiss, and begging 10 in-
form him that there were eleven more copies
which he might have for 500 apiece. At last Ae-
counts negotiations were proceeding.
EpMuND..YATEs says viciously Of the court
managers "I suppose It Is only right, OH the prin
cple ofquid pro quo, that the recipients OF royal
favors should have 70 undergo certain amount
Of Inconvenience and even danger. The fate Of
the ladies and gentlemen who had 10 brave the
piercing cold to attend the queens early drawing
rooms was bad enough, but that OF tho recipients
OF the royal Maundy was even worse. To bring
one hundred and twenty-eight old men and wo.
mon 10 the Chapel Royal, Whitehall, on q day
like Thursday last was sheer cruelty TO animals
. The way was long, the wind was cold, and the
poor people were inhrm and old and It will be !
wonder II many Of them long survive 10 enjoy the
royal charity. Some ofthe antiquated formalitio.
have for yeau been abolished, and the Lord High
Almoner does not now have 70 wash the feet Of
the recipients Of the royal Naundy. operation
which would certainly have been particularly nm.