The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-09-05
WIT AND PLEAsANrRY.

1t is said that the bark of dog can be
heard 1890 yards, but the trouble is he
doetn't begin to bark soon enough.
a wicked young man says that he never
will, upon any consideration whatever, really
believe that 8 pretty girl knows what kiss
means till he has it from her own mouth.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said: "An healthy
things are sweet tempered" We differ
healthy, red-hesded woman who is-Well,
she is and 10 mistake about it.
"Do yeu believe in spirits1o the young
lazy asked the new pastor. "No, my
daughter" replied the old man, 81 don't be-
lieve in anything this side of heaven. /
preached in Washington twenty years.
The other day sn author went to Dumas
TO read to him two plays. After he resd
one Of them be asked Dumas "Whst do
you think OF it?" 81 like the other BETTER
was the reply, after 8 moment of reflection
EYES," said tho Vermont deacon, always
60 down to camp meeting, and always como
back ft cling good. Do you see tina. msguiH.
cert horse there in the feld2 Well, you
ought to have seen the old plug l took
down"
1t was at the close of the wedding break.
fast. One OF the guests arose, glass in hand,
and said: 81 drink TO the health of the
bridegroom. May he see many days like
thislr The intention wss good, but the
bride locked up as if something displeased
her.
He clipped quietly in at the door, but
catching sight of an inquiring face over the
stair rail, said: "Sorry so late. my dear,
couldn't get car before" $50 the cars
were full ioo," said the lady; and further
remarks were nnecesssry.-Georgia Ma
jor.
A curious person notes the predominance
OF darkhaired bellies q. the water plsce re-
sorts, and asks what has become of sill the
blondes2 Brunettes are fashionable, and all
things are possible, il would seem, with love-
ly women.
When a young man tries for three min.
utes in Church to brush q sunbeam off his
coat under the impression that it is streak
of dust. and then looks up and sees q pretty
girl laughing at him, he Kind of loses the
thread Of the sermon, temporarily, as it
were.
''No," ssid the sad-eyed man. ST never
press young woman to play upon the
piano. 1 tried il once to my SORROW"
"Why, what followed2" asked hslf-dozen
eager voices. "She played replied tie sad
eyed man. 81 shsll never forget the lesson
learned that day."
A Chicago girl disappointed in love was
about to hang herself, and just as she was
fixing the fatal moose around her neck ped
dler passed by yelling, alec cream In an
instant the misguided girl changed her mind
and resolved that there was something left
in life worth living for.
A stock broker, returning to his office, af-
ter substantial luncheon, with a client, said
complscently TO his head clerk, Mr.. Putkin,
the world looks different to u man when he
has q bottle of champagne in him." Eyes,
sir" replied the clerk, significantly, sand he
looks different to the world"
There was once q clergyman in New
Hampshire noted for his long sermons and
INDECENT habits. slow lie it," said a man TO
his neighb0r, ''that Psrson -, the --latest
man living, writes those interminsble SER
mons2' "Why," said the other, Che
probably gets to writing, and is too lazy to
stop"
No one has been definitely able to prove
when fans were first invented. There can
be no doubt, however, Of their existence
8 ZOO years ago. for representations of these
familiar articles have been discovered on the
tombs at Thebes Fans, therefore, are the
Oldest articles in use BY ladies, except their
tongues.
True caution: "Ma," said Jennie Par
venu at Newport, "they ssid those Smiths
who have got the Jones cottage are swful
stylish and have got q pedigree "G5t the
pedigree, haze theyT" said Mrs. Parvenu,
exciiedly; swell, you keep away from them,
or l don't want you to catch NEW
York Mail and Express.
Five big, stout gentlemen were slowly go
Ipe up TO the top of New York building.
The sweat was pouring from their forehesds,
md their handkerchief looked like Coney
Ieland bathing suits hung out to dry. 81
With there was G beer saloon in this eleva-
.rr," remarked one slow gentleman. "Yes,
cy, you ought 10 have a keg OF beer aboard
this elevator" chimed in another. The boy