National Republican., 1883-04-03

Oh, maiden on the mantel shelf
While palpltates thy heart reflect
Didst ever ever yet suspect,
How much more frightened than thyself
This geologic dot should be
That drives thee thus TO lunacy2
The sparrow, after April o, by new Mas
sachusetts law, can be killed without incurrinp n
penalty.
DR.. OLIVER WENDALL HOLMES will be
honored by banquet by friends in Now York ON
April ~.
MANY Of the present governors will run for
| another term; some of the treasurers may run
| for Mexico.
The minute does not come to dsplace tho
can.can. 1t comes to soothe the anti hugging
association.
AFTER lapse of thirty years Sir Walter
scotts works are being republished and retrans.
lated In France.
A LETTER published in the Indian Spectator
says that there is a numerous tribe in orissa who
worship Queen Victoria as a goddess
ALMA TADEMA, says the Portfolio has
"masterly veracity." Mastery veracity, we take
It, is the faculty for lying without being caught at
| it.-Rochester Post Express.
| IT is said that 100000 cocoanuts shells arc
annually ground into pepper in New York city
Post Express. Don't II is n newspaper lie
IT is believed that John L. Sullivan cannot
be kept down much longer. He will soon com.
mence writing for the Atlantic Monthly, and then
he will be fit to worship.-NeaO Orleans Picdyttne.
The keynote of warning is sounded by the
st. Louis Globe Democrat, who says that Sammy
Tilden is like Lady -, Of whom Byron wrote
She has been dangerously i'll, but is now dan
gerously we'll"
"YEs," said the deacon, the organist GER
tainly did play opera bouiIe airs and the can.can
| in his voluntary yesterday. But dear me, can't
kick up row about 1t without giving myself away
| by showing that recognized the music"
AN observant naturalist tells us that he saw
yesterday the first hand. organist OF the season.
Thus the signs of spring multiply in strict accord.
ance with the letter and spirit of the almanac,
while winter holds the fort and wars upon our
faith
AN English bishop queruously remarkedt to
his servant that he was dying. "Well, my lord"
said the good fellow, tive arc going to a better
place" "John," replied the prelate, with an air
Of conviction, "there is no place like old Eng.
| land"
LORD GRANVILLE recently apologlzed 10
| Mr.. Lowell for short dinner notice TO "the most
engaged man las diner OUT In England" Mr..
Lowell very neatly replied that 'no notice could
the most engaging man."
AN Ohio county treasurer whose books ball
anced to a cent didn't receive bit of credit
| from the Investigating committee. Had he
been $4,000 behind hundreds of people would
have made excuses for his weakness" and ex-
tended their sympathies for his "misfortune."--
Detroit Free Press.
A MAGAZINE writer says that 81 sforsando
must leap out from piano. a diminuendo must
/ - ENE
should have very poor opinion of Sforzdndo that
didn't leap out from piano-and take to the
woods-when an amateur is humping on the in
strument.-NorrtstotOa Herald.
Mr.. HowELLs has written a sequel to
"Thelr Wedding Journey" 1t is called Niagara
Revisited" Such thing as a married couple
having enough money left to revisit Niagara,
| after their wedding journey, was never known
outside of novel. Almost any improbable
thing can be worked up into fction.-NOrrtstopn
Herald.
"ALAsW exclaimed o Chicago man, "tha
days of chivalry are gone. man has no
opportunity to show his bravery" and then he
stepped up to the bar and called for a drink OF
whisky little realizing that in so doing ho ex-
hibited daring rarely equaled by any knight Of
the olden time-LOWeA Citizen
The Arkansas legislature has passed bill
prohibiting the selling of liquor within two miles
of any church. If this is done for the purpose of
encouraging pedestrianism and out tdoor exercise
among church -goers it is all right enough but
the state should improve the roads or furnish rub
| Der hunting boots at inclement seasons of the
| year.-PecGs Sun,
THE following odd advertisement is from a
Roman paper: "a gentleman who suffers from
onnui invites a lady, married or single, 40 break
fast or dine with him, without ceremony, once q
week. Ifdesired, he promises, as a gentleman, to
49,. A.
into affection, all the better. Ladies in want OF
dinner may apply to -, Rome"
PATRIOTIC Englishmen in this country
could show their allegiance to her gracious
majesty by sending to her reliefa certain eminent
physician of Denver, who, though thousands of
miles lie between him and the queen, has dis
covered the exact nature of the injury that is still
the gossip of the world. He says that Victoria has
sustained "contution of the me-"
PHYSICIANS might take hint from the
daily bulletins of executions in various parts of
the country and adopta new prescription for per-
sons suffering from loss Of appetite. Let them
sentence their patients to be hanged by the neck
until they are dead, Every fellow about to be
hanged is without exception reported as "eatiug
a hearty meal" just before going to the scaffold.
Why the prospect Of a sudden and shameful death
should have so stimulating an effect upon the ap-
petite is not plainly apparent, but this aspect OF
the subject may be left for the doctors to consider.
THIS is IN very truth an ago of dress-al-
most of dress worship, Men and women OF So
ciety who cannot dress drop out of it, those who
can, readily take their places, and so this gay,
glorious world wags on. Men scoff at those who
dress, and scofhng, dress themselves. To dress
well means TO be somebody to dress poorly
means to be nobody. Say what you will, there is
nothing so disarms and utterly impresses the
stive nature as conscious inferlority of DRESS
Until degree of familiarity with the world has
been acquired or a man has learned that he has
recognized place In It, his dress either holds him
up in his own self respect or lets him down into
abect self contempt in which condition he isn't
worth acontinental.-1flh.
On the day before tho reception rendered
her at st. Georges, Bermuda the Princess Louise
went on a sketching expedition along the shore,
all alone, and, after time becoming thirsty went
for drink to the cottage Of a negro fisherman,
No one was there but "auntie" and she was busy
as could be ironing a shirt for her cole man" to
wear at the reception. The princess asked for a
l drink. "rse no time to bodder getting water TO-
7. you" was the reply; Use fea'ful busy, for ree
: bound to see de queens chile tomorrow" "But
/. ifyoun get rue drink, I'll iron while you do So"
said the thirsty princess, The offer was accepted,
| a had tba ahf ~ ovA hos Arg,l