News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-04-26

lie. Ms. KS f'.r3i-'t-'-
"Well, then, give it to your grand
children" said Mrs. Fender - Teras
SittingS.
TOMBSTONE GRAMMAR.
A Western paper tells a little story of
an Eastern college graduate who came
out to make his fortune in silver: A so
cially inclined person in a blue shirt and
wide-rimmed hat, good-naturedly an
swered every question the young man
asked, and volunteered a vast amount of
interesting information about Arizona in
general and Tombstone in particular
''Do you see them hills ?" asked the
Tombstoner, pointing through one Of
the office windows. 'Well, them hills
is chock full of pay dirt"
The young man from the East looked
shocked.
MY dear sir," he said, proudly but
kindly, ''you should say, those hills are
hot them hills is"
The Tombstoner was silent for a mo-
ment. He looked the young man from
the East critically over Then drawing
out an ivory-stocked seven-shOoter Of
elaborate style and finish, he said in a
soft. mild, musical tone of voice that
sounded like a wildwood brook coursing
Ger its pebble bed:-"My gentle IN
salted tenderfoot from the land of the
rising sun, this here's a pint that You
and me disagrees on and we might as
well have it settled right now. l haven't
looked in grammar lately, but [ say
them hills is is correct, and I'm going
to stand by that opinion. I'll give you
lust three minutes to think calmly over
the subject, for you probably spoke in
haste the first time, and then I'll hear
your decision. .
The young man from the East looked
down the delicately-chased barrel of the
revolver into the placid depths of the
eye of the Tombstoner and began to feel
that many points in grammar are uncer-
tain and liable to grow more so. Then
he thought Of the Coroner's inquest and
Of the verdict, ''came to his death by
standing in front Of Colorado Toms
seven-shooter, and before half the three
minutes was up he was ready to acknowl
edge his error.
'Since he had thought it over calmly,
he said, che believed that them hills IS,
is right He had spoken on the spur of
the moment he added, ''and begged Il
thousand pardons for his presumptuous
effort to substitute bad grammar for
good"
The Tombstoner forgave him freely,
and, grasping his hand, said;
81 know'd you'd say you was wrong
after you thought moment. I admire
a man who gives right in without argu-
ing when he knows he's wrong"
A WAY THEY HAVE.
Two ladies who were bound somewhere
in company a few days ago entered a
Woodward avenue car together, and no
sooner were they seated than both made
dive for their purses.
"Oh, let me pay r pleaded one.
"Oh. couldn't think of it p
ooh, do, now; 1 have just the
change"
ooh, but I have tickets.
eyes. but you paid the last time.
''But you can pay some other time.
Here -
She was hurriedly searching through
her portemonnaie, but didn't seem to
find anything.
81 told you I had"
And the second one began a search in
a wild manner, emptying out pins,
needles, and buttons, butno money.
''Why, I do declare" gasped the
/ first
..Strangest thing 1 ever saw p added
! the second.
"Iu pay for both, observed man Oh
the seat opposite, and he marched up
fumbled through his pockets and helC
out battered quarter to the driver
The latter would not take it, and tht
man marched out and slid off the plat
form in the most solemn manner, and a
the next crossing the ladies said the,
had taken the wrong car, rang the bell
and got off. ff.-Detr0H Free Press.
IN THE WRONG PLACE.
A stranger entered the office of Al
ocean steamer agent, on GriswOld street
SAYS the Detroit Free Press, and asked
"Cm a man come from Ireland b.
your line ?"
{" He can, sir"
"WiII you bring over my Oldest broth
er?"
q" We will that"
"For how much o.
in frst-rate shape for $50.
81 think I'll pay the money" said tn
stranger, but, as he was pulling out m
wallet, the agent asked:
''n what part Of ireland is you
brother?"
"In the Dublin Jail, sir, as a suspect
If he was out he would be plenty able t
take care of himself, he would.
''But we can't get him out OF jail, yo
know"
.sNeither can I, you know, thoug
I've written seven letters to the jailer
do decent deed, and let Barney go. "
SATISFIED CURIOSITY.
1t was quiet-looking little man wit
frayed mustache who got on a Gas
Avenue car the other night, and he ha
a square wooden box under his arm wit
rows of holes punched in the top, whic
Immediately attracted the attention Of
corpulent passenger with a cotton I'm
brelIa, who was sitting near the door.
81 suppose you have some wild amin
in that box" said he tapping it with b
umbrella
YES, replied the other, shrinlln
into a corner.
You have museum somewher
maybe q
"No' answered the small man, loo
ing down at his feet.