The Portland daily press., 1883-03-06
"Our George" Disports Himself on
Rollers.
A Geomet,i,al Explanation of His Loss of
Equilibrium.
I"ourlGcOrge" in the Belfast journal.

Roller skating is new disease with us
this winter. Before we could get vaccinat-
ed for it, it struck us and we all had it. 1t
went through Belfast like measles through
family of children or gossip through sew
Ing circle, and it left its mark on US too.
A roller skate. looks very much like the
platform of wooden toy horse. 1t is piece
OF wood with four lignumvit@ rollers and is
strapped onto the foot like skate. When
you get up on them for the first time you
feel like thousand dollar statue on castors,
in very slippery place. Theoretically, all
you have to do is to slide one foot out with a
skating like stroke, little on the outside
rollers, and then the other and so on, keep
ing your balance all the while. 1t is as easy
to skate on roller skates theoretically as it is
to SET hen, but practically, the rich man
getting into the Kingdom of Heaven has an
easy JOB side of the beginner learning to
skate.
got up on my feet and took survey of
the scene. The skaters we're gliding around
the hall and the beginners practieing gym
nastics. 1 didn't notice any of them skat-
ing.
gave few strokes, when suddenly my
feet got frightened at something and started
to run away with me, throwing me down,
and at the same time they gave leap into
the air, and struck the floor with thud
that settled me together so much that when
| got up my coat was too long wasted for
me by about couple of inches. had hard
" struck the floor when something like a
couple Of hard wood malets struck me on
the lower end of the spine, and pair of
knees struck me in the small of the back
with the force of Spite driver, and a form
shot over my head and in its passage some
hing like wire fence caught on the back
of my head nearly scalping me and with
crash hundred and twenty pounds of
femininity landed beside me, with all
its upholstery.
AS soon as circumstances and the condi-
ton of things would permit, got up on my
feet and very cautiously made my way to a
seat at the side of the hall and pondered for
while on the fall of Adam, and wondered
whether he fell more than his length and
how he struck.
The professor came along to where was
trying TO sit and inquired in fifteen-cents-
Observation-Disclosures voice, if had ever
had the skates ON before. Said l:
mo, and l can see that have made ter
ribe mistake, for ought 10 have put them
on behind, then L could have got some good
out of Them"
He told me that l ought not to be cast
down, and to try again. told him that
had not been cast down but that did it N.Y.
self; that somehow my line of perpendicular
had not kept at right angles with nv base,
consequently you can see that my equilibri-
um had lost its perpendiculsrity, hence the
casualty. He said he had read considera-
Bile about it In the newspapers, and thought
something ought to be done, and he said he
hoped Congress would take some steps in
The matter this wihter, but as that had moth
ing 10 do with skating he said thatif would
take his arm he would assist me around the
nall. told him if he would kindly remove
one OF my skates from the region of my pis-
Lol pocket would go with him gladly.
Taking my arm he showed me the various
motions, told me to keep as upright as new
bank cashier, to keep right to my A B C aud
not try to skate any OF my four syllabed
movements till | knew more about it, and to
keep practicing, and in the course of four or
five hundred years might be able to skate
quite well; that should never be sun
flower in the business but might be mod
est little violet, or something of that sort. |
didn't skate much more that night but /
watched the others.
There are few joys in this life that can ex-
Gel those ecstatic moments, when you see
your enemy who has partially learned, who
has acquired the art of going quite rapidly
but has not acquired that other equally nee
essary art, l mean the art of stopping.
A skater will 60 ahead as fast as boy to
the dentist to have his first tooth out, but it
is as hard tor him to stop as is the interest
on the national debt. When occasion re-
quires him to stop it is natural for him to
rise bit on the hind rollers and then tile
fun begins. His heels shoot ahead and his
head flies back, he describes circles in the
air with his arms he keeps pulling his heels
back but they won't stay. They rattle like
Tin thunder in theatre. All the time he
is going over backward. He throws out his
stomach he bends his head forward his
knees crook, and finally his heels slip from
the floor like slice Of raw liver from a
plate, and with crash like ten strike in a
bowling alley, all of him lies on the floor in
as wrecked a condition as it is possible 70
imagine, and had you contrlved the whole
thing yourself you could not have betteled
it, Bows learn TO skate