The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-03-03
THE HOTEL LOAFER.

There is character you often see
about Washington that you seldom see
elsewhere-and why: Elsewhere he
would be different individual. Were
he in a village, he would be like unto
the village loafcr-the man who fishes,
or attends fishermen who come from
cities, gathers their bait, rows their
boat, drinks their grog, retails to them
all the gossip of the neighborhoOd, etc.
Should party of gunners want his
service. he would follow them as faith
fully as pointer, for a pint of rye and
a half a dollar. When he can find no.
thing else to do, he does odd jobs at
the village store or seeks the sunny
side of house and basks. That's
about what such characters do in viii
lagos but when such 4 man gets to
Washington he becomes Hotel Loaf
er, and shades of Hickman, how many
of them have we: He generally goes
buttoned upto the chin and carries Il
shiny about the knees; a coat very
rusty about the collar and hat out OF
style what little apparent linen he
shows is paper or celiuloid, and he has
six or eight pawnticllets on hand al
ways. How he lives is Il mystery, yet
live he does, and he picks up a dollar
here and there in 4 marvellous way.
Perhaps he hasa wife who rents rooms;
maybe he has daughter whose hus-
band tolerates him; possihly-nay,
very likely-somebody clse's daughter
living south of the Avenue, leading an
awful life, supports him in idiencss.
He can tell you all about public af-
fairs-knows, to 4 dead certainty, who
is to be Speaker Of the next House,
whether or not the Executive will call
an extra session on March 4. IIe en-
larges on his familiarity with intiuen-
tial men, says he knew Chet intimate
ly in New York, and always refers to
a certain Senator as Black Jack is of
tho firm opinion that Blaine, nor
nor Sherman, nor Grant,
will ever he nominated, and the party
needs new timber, and he Wcld Bob
the other night that he would be q
d--d good man for the second place
on the ticket" He chews tobacco
precision, but he was never known to
buy any of the weed. lie has a little
room somewhere, but where it is no.
body knows. He is a great hand
shaker, and will call a man Jones or
Brown or Smith, without the Mister,
after an hours acquaintance. He
hangs around the billiard-room, mon
opolizes the chairs, and keeps the
players standing. He tries, by many
means, to make you believe that he is
an influential member Of the third
house, and borrows dollar here and
there on the strength Of it. He will
get on the street cars and be in great
distress because he forgot his wallet,
and lie for five cents. lie will ssring
in" with any party or parties going to-
ward the bar, and do it with great
He will Systematically
and continuously swindlc poor widows
who keep cheap boarding-houscs, and
cOlOrcd laundresscSs. When he has
made tho rounds and becomes known,
and had been "lired out' of boarding.
houses, he becomes an adept in attend
ing free lunches. He has a string of
worn-out stories and smutty jokes;
With the Congressional Library, the
and the Cocoran Gallery
of Art free, lie never goes near them,
but spends hours and days loaiing
about the hotels. 1t is q windlall to
him for any old friend or acquaintance
to come to the city. He shows him
great attention, takes him around, bor
rows five or ten dollars from him. and
promises to remit it the next day. lie
writes letters to school chums and Old
time friends, and begs the loan of q
few dollars for a few days. He is
dwindling down to small point very
fast, yet he never thinks Of making a
living. He delights in being called
Judge or colonel, and makes q point of
calling his chums the same. He af-
fccts familiarity with all the public
men who come about the hotels, and
always has his overcoat down at his
tailor's for repair (?). lie often
"bcats his way" on steamboat eXcur-
sions to Mount Vernon, under the
prctcnso Of being connected with the
press, and he has not learned that a
life of idle thriftlcsStness is the hardest
life man can lead. Hc has happened
around when billiard balls have disap
pcared, and then happens to stroll to
the pawn shops. lie knows all the de-
tcctives and unfortunate women on the
Avenue. He hangs around the hotel
news-stands and steals his reading
matter, and, should a gentleman leave
a paper in the reading-roo he cab
bageS it at once. lie has worn out all
his friends and relatives, far and near,
by borrowing. lie is the type of
American who, as q humorst has