National Republican., 1883-05-25

, ans ne 'akeS chaplain and an altar with him.
anls says the POSI- Express, shows how little con.
hdence he has in railways.
LAST winter a Missouri girl leaped into a
rlVer Tor suicide, but finding the water distress.
ihsy ooiu' she got out as soon as possible. She
declared that she simply postponed her death nm
til she could drown more comfortably: and now
with the first warm weather she has exeouted
her purpose ''N
WHAT is alleged to be piece of the true
cross has come TO light at Poitiers in nm old cbes,
II was sent TO a saint in the second half of tha
sixth century by the Emperor Justin from Con.
Santlnople. IL Is mounted in gold and enamel Of
exquisite Byzantine manufacture, and oxoites
great interest 1t disappeared during the reyolu.
ton of17so.
VUEER problem submitted by tho Atlanta
C'nsHutfon: How is II that when our Young man
put on tight pantaloons their knee Joints show n
disposition to cave inward? II is funny. but not
40 iunny os 1t is curious. Our columns are omen
"any physician who desires TO explain the mat.
'er or TO any young lady VINO feels that the young
men need defender. A
AHE Kansas City Journal says young
woman OF Wyandouc, who had been deserted by
her lover had her photograph taken while she
held a cooked revolver to her head She sent this
suggestive picture to the recreant. BY return
mail she received his photograph with the body
convoiuted with ecstatc del ght and the face wear.
ing smile OF superlatiye JOY, She has not pulled
the trigger yet.
1T takes oman five times as long ter got
In dc bed as II does man. She has ter cross de
no certain number Of times, an has ter tumble
mong dc quilts, turn down the lamp too low, an
den go back an turn It up too high. oman
walks mighty light when she's got shoes on, but
when she takes 'em Off an walks, she shakes do
whole house, like a dog trottin cross bridge
Arkdnsdw Traveller.
HARK ! Soft as the breath Of idle summer
WINDS and just about as idol, / hear the voice of
Tue siren. What is she saying she of the silvery
voice? She is saying that If you take her to the
mountains in July and down to the seashore in
August she viii do without that sealskin cloak
you promised her. Aud Of variety she forgeteth
mat sue got that soalskin cloak last December
burlington Hd,pkeye.
MORE than twelve months AGO n "ner-
petuap clock was started ut Brussels. An IN.
draught is obtained In tube or shat by exposing
It to tho sun; this draught turns q fan, which
winds up the weight of the clock until It reaches
the top, when 1t actuates a brake that stops the
fan, but leaves II free to start again when the
weight has gone down a little. This clock was
keeping good time in June, after running con.
tinuously for nine months
n YOUNG man named Parker was arrested
In Chicago few days ago, on the eve of his mar.
riage for stealing jewelry from his employers.
He explained where his money went to by saying
he treated his girl 10 ice cream every night. Ice
cream Is running thousands Of our young men an.
nually! Excessive treating to ice cream will burl
almost any man into a suit of striped clothes
Many promisingyoung man has been utterly
ruined by his lack Of, will power in rushing his
girl past ice cream saloons. s.-Rdnsds Cav Journal
A RECENT census of Hindostan shows that
1t is the land Of widows even more than tigers and
costly shawls There are 630oO of them under 10
years Of age, 11,52i between 10 and 49, l572l45
between Is and 20. aud 15.3l265l between 90 and
30 Tho custom Of the country marrles girls in
childhood, aud forbids them from ever marrying
ngain, ana the British authorities by stopping the
practice OF burning wives upon the funeral pyres
Of their deceased husbands, have contributed
largely to the growth Of the widow class British
India ought to be good recruiting ground for the
Mormons.
CORRESPONDENT of the Boston Herald.
writing from Moscow, gives an entertaining de-
scription Of the buildings to be occupied by the
emperor and his court during the coronation
ceremonies. In one of the palaces Byzantine
frescoes on the walls, which have been restored
from designs from illuminated manuscripts by
native artists representing in the career Of
Joseph, tho scriptural parsonage who is depicted
with gold auerole and coarse heavy boots. One
scene, In which Joseph receives his brethren is
very quaint The lucky brother is In full canon!.
icals, while Reuben, Benjamin, and the others
all appear with big boots n Ia moujlk. Another
tableau represents the most comely Mrs Porti-
phar. wrapped up in blue sheets. Ifthese fres-
GOES are to be believed irreverenty says the cor.
respondent, the lady sets at rest the yexed cues
tion Of hippant critics as TO whether wrinkles or
loss Of teeth had anything to do with Josephs re.
fusal.
Two young men, robed as priests have been
going about Philadelphia swinding servant girls
Ascending the steps of the most fashionable resi-
dences they would inquire Of the servant respond.
ing to their pull of the bell Are there any Cath.
Ollie servant girls here? Ifso, want to see them"
When the servants appeared the priestly garbed
gentleman would hold his hand aloft and fasten
his eyes for an instant upon the ceiling The SER
wants would reverently and gratefully receive
what they thought was his reverence's blessing.
Then he would tell them, Daughter, have here
little book upon The Four Mortal Sins. You
should read 1t, by all means aud learn better how
to care for your souls" That appeal usually
brought out the girls pockebook. If 1t did not,
he would offer to sell them n specially blessed
scapular for 50 and give them the book for moth.
ing. In this way they obtained a considerable
sum of money, but the knaves were finally dis
covered and their business broken up
THE model heroine lives in Tallahassee, and
her name is Katie Gamble. A few nights since.
while asleep in her room, she suddenly awakened
to find two intruders In the apartment, white
man and negro. She made some startled OK.
clamation which called the white mans attention,
and thereupon he drew pistol and declared his
intention to kill her If she raised any alarm. In
no wise daunted, this spirited young lady quickly
took pistol from nnder her pillow and fired at
the villain, at which the negro took flight and
fed, The white brute, however, returned the fire
Plucky as she Is fair Miss Gamble not only fred
at him again, but, upon his turning TO run, sprang
out Of bed, fred still another shot, and as the
scoundrel was hastily getting out the window
struck him good blow over the head with her
weapon And after II was all over she didn't faint
either, as heroines in novels usually do but was
able In q collected manner to tell her family all
about It when they camo rushing into the ROOM
The would be robber was evidently hurt for next
morning tho imprint of his fugers, marked in
blood, was found upon the window sill.
NEW YORK Commercial Advertiser: Lord
Byron was fat when boy, and he subsequently,
wrote fat" for the printers... Noah was tho
author of the song "Wat till the clouds rolls by
lie might not have sung It, but he thought about it
for more than month. Some persons are anxious
that the Brooldyn bridge should be given some
appropriate name. As "life is but span" why
not call the structure :" Life Bridge. Ow Yang
Ming has been appointed Chinese consul in this
city. Some old time American such as Aud Lang
syne or Yang Kee Doodle might have been Sc.
lected, If the choice had rested with the natives
A correspondent writes to the Cincinnati Saturday