The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-06-10

Home Summer Kesorts,

where are you going to spend the
SUMMER" said a prominent citizen.
swell, l have not made up my
mind, said the second prominent citi-
zen. 81 have been talking IL over with
my wife and we have about concluded TO
nix up the house as summer resort and
stay at home. She thinks she can take
a Ratchet and break some Of the springs
to the bed, and shorten up the bed stats
so they will fall down, and put some
old cabbage stumps in the mattress, and
can make the bed about as uncomforta-
ble as the one we had at summer ho-
tel last summer at 81 day apiece.
But she has got to have a fire In the
room all summer to make the room as
hot as our hotel room was, because our
house is so near Lake Michigan that it
Is disgustngly cool in the summer"
That may do for starter for sum-
mer resort, said the other prominent
citizen, "but she will want to tamper
with the broiler so it will burn one side
Of beef steak and leave the other raw,
and She will have TO instruct her cook
how to make biscuit 50 hard outside that
you can strike flint on them, and soft
inside"
ooh, she can arrange that all right"
said the other. "But she is going TO
have hard time 10 train our servants
TO make good imitation summer resort
servants Of them. ! tell her she wants
to train them 50 they will do nothing
without being paid half a dollar. I
have got the chambermaid so that she
will not make up the bed in my wife s
room until all the other beds are made,
unless she gives the girl quarter, and
my wife says II seems rea, natural.
have instructed the man who answers
the bell not 10 come up for three-quar-
ters OF an hour after we ring, and 10
always bring pitcher of ice-water, the
way they do at summer hotels. Did
you ever notice that a bell boy at a
summer hotel always brings ice water
when you ring? He thinks that the
chances are when the bell rings that the
guest wants a pitcher Of ice-water, and
be takes it along so he will not have to
make another trip, and when he finds
you want something else he looks mad
and sets the pitcher down, and seems to
think you are fraud because the other
nine pitchers Of ice-water he has
brought you are enough. Then we
have got to borrow lot Of trunks, so
the porter can get the wrong trunk in
our room, and we have got to get in the
habit Of going down 10 the lake and
paying dollar an hour for an old boat
that never cost three dollars when it
was new. l am having a bar fixed up
in the barn. and shall make the family
pay two shillingS glass for lemonade
that has pint Of water, pinch Of
acid, little sugar, and strawberry
that looks as though it had been ground
under boot-heel. | think AIN getting
the thing down fine, Come over and
see us from your hot and dusty resi-
denoe on the West Side, and we will
make you tired in about two days"
80, lam fixed, | am going to take
a blanket and 90 out to the glue factory
and lay off this summer and catch suck
ers in the Menominee, and fight mos
| quitoes, said the other citizen. land
charge myself - day ! tell you, a
man can summer-resort right here at
home. and have all the dscomforts,
and get just as mad, as he can TO go tc
Saratoga or Long Branch, and the two
citizens went out.-DetroH Free Press,