Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1883-05-14
A HINT TO MADDEN
To Have the Names Of the Streets So
Censpicuously Placed as to be
Guide
To Strangers Entering Them to Find
Their Way With Ease and Comfort
"Kother GOose's'' Travail.
To the Editors of the Appeal:

about looking for localities with the helpless
sensation Of looking'for a needle in hay
stack 1t would Eeem absolutely indispen-
sable in place like Memphis. which stretches
and stretches with the elasticity Of . politi-
clans conscience. Presumably the city
fathers are so many bulls-eyss for target
practice, and everybody with real or imag-
mary grievance is at liberty TO fire at them.
hasten to avail myself OF that tine-honered
privilege. In a state OF exhaustion cslcu-
lated 10 arouse the liveliest sympathy in
anything or anybody with heart softer than
the neither milestone, this constitutional
grumbler bess TO give her experience OF
street-huuting in an unlabeled town, char
itably hoping that the pains and penalties
inflicted upon her for her rashness may be
the portion of such large majerity of the
sovereign people that they will arise in their
wrath and demand some outward and visible
sign OF the alleged existence of certain
streets. The home Of friend living on
GAINEssT
being the desired goal of one Of nay most |
recent wanderings, prudently consulted one
Of the infallibie directories which are "thick
as leaves in Vsllsmbross," hereabout,, but |
which have such curious trick OF multiply |
ing ones name BY two or three, that one |
would really seem 10 be possessed OF ubiquity, |
which leaves a seeker after inform alton the |
widest sort Of margin for hunting folks up |
in. picked up inform alton enough 10 in |
duce me to follow the blue car line to its |
terminus IN hopes Of approximating Gaines
street. The FIRST hitch IN my well laid plan /
was incurred on my discovering that the blue |
car doubled on its track in the most unex- |
pected fashion, and passengers must perforce |
do the same or Involuntary resolve them |
selves iato peripatetic philosophers. With |
all their blatant independence, a woman in |
stinctively turns TO the nearest man at hand |
for aid or advice in preference TO dozen OF
her own sex. ObeyiUg this law of nature, l
appealed to the only male occupant of the
car with the inquiry: "Sir, can you tell me
hew to fnd Gaines street," The Intercepted
was spruce looking young man, with lit
tie bits Of cotton clinging 10 him that sug-
gested cotton sheds and manly la
Dor, aud he bore generally wide
awake air of Intelligence about him I'M
til my question smote upon his ear. Gaines
street, madame" be said, sGaines-sireet"
he repeated, experimenting on the words with
different infections of voice, n II hoping to
eliminate the mystery thershy. Yes, sir,
Gaines strss.," repe Gated, with emphatic dis
tinei.ess. "M'm,o he said, finally, al the
intelligence gone out of his face, 81 never
heard of such street." R.gretting the loss
Of so many precious seconds on such de-
cided know-nothiug, l hurried after the re.
treating forms ell my two female compdgnons
dE voyage asking, hurriely, Scan either OF
ysu ladies tell me how 10 find Gaines street~
The question brought them to sudden stand
in the busiest spot of dusty street.
(which" said one of them, with the sppal-
ing look one woman gives another when
SHE WOULD LIKE TO BITE HER HEAD OFF,
but feels as if the provocatlon were not quite
great enough fer such extreme measures.
4 -. 7 Ill 4
emnly. "Nsver heard Of such street. DON'T
believe there is euch street. Don't know
much about this part OF town, anyhow. Am
\ complete stranger in Memphis anyway"
In subdued silence l tripped meekly in the
rear OF the speaker until We reached the
/ sidewalk, where we landed immediately in
| front of fruilerer's stand. Two men AMI
one woman seemed TO be sitting at receipt OF
custom. One of the men occupied an invert-
| ed beer keg, and looked go very much as if
| be had but recently transferred the entire
| contents Of that keg into his anatomy that
| l scudded past him in timid haste, address,
| ing my formula TO his partner, who looked q
| degree less beery. "Can you tell me how TO
| End Gaines streetw l asked. "Gaines
shdreei7" he repeated, running very grimy
| hand through shock OF sandy hair as if
searching for an idea. "Gsiues-shdreet !"
| he repeated, appealing with his eyes TO the
| woman, who was engaged in inserting
| bright-new pink patch into faded calico
| shirt. aShe means Georgia street." said the
,hirt- IA snder, briskly. 81 don't mean any
| thing of the kind" answered more briskiy.
| aI mean Gaines street.n "Gaines shdreet?"
said the man on the beer key, leering apniably
| around the circle. "Yes," [ said,
making up in Ioudness of tone for
\ the difference in nationality; "Gai-nes-
| stree-eet" "Pin lifin' here desc dwenty
| year. unit neffa her dell of Games shdreet"
| The .hirt-mender held her shirt aloft by the
| arms, as If she would coax the secret from
| its pul.elsss bosom. The man with the shock
head gazsd pityingly upon me, as if | were
| harmless lunatic bent upon an simless jest.
| The beer-ksg man leered impartially, and
| repeated "Gsines shdrest," in
VARYING TONES OF IMEECILITY.
| A general air of Vacancy seizsd upon the
| group, leaving the impression that twenty
| more years might come and 90 before the
| mystery OF Gaines street should be solved.
| "Dry do drugstore mznp said Shockhead,
| pointing to some blue and red Jars in a
| window at the cerner, and turning from
| me in despair. took his advice, and tried
l the drug man at the corner. A mild man
nered, whi.e-haired old gentleman stood at
l the door. "Sir, csn you tell me how TO
find Gaines street," l ssked. He looked
patronizisgly down on me, as he answered,
| "You mean Georgia street, miss." "But 1
DON'T l mean G-a-i-n-es street! Do l
| look like woman who could neither spell
nsr pronounce SO simple a word IS thai,
STRIP L rolled that final 81" 60 om-
inously over my indignant lips,
that that drug man was convinced
| that if there wasn't there ought to be
| Gaines street somewhere in that nsighbor-
| hood, for he called out briskly TO his assist
| ant, "Bob, where's Gaines streetp Gaines
streeiT' came from The rear of the drug store,
| and Gaines street was echoed from the book
| keepers desk, and Game street, The refrain
| was taken up by losfer on iae sidewalk,
| the fatal sound seeming to carry blight
With it that had power TO instartsneousIy
| blst out from the human face divine every
| spark of intelligence. sam sorry" was the
result of a council held for my benefit; but
| although there wasn't man in that crowd
| who acknowledged 10 lees that six years res
| iaence, no one had ever heard of Gaines
| street. / think the drug man felt apologetic
| for his ignorance, for, coming out on the
| sidewalk, he pointed 10 s distant spot on the
| horizon. De you see that open cotton shed
| yorder, rna'am? l peered into the dim dis
| tSnce and answered, "Yes" "Well, il you
| will walk 10 that shed and turn 10 your left,
| and walk two more blocks, you will come 10
| = corner grocery, snd Whist the man in that
| corner grocery can't tell you about Memphis
.iH't worth knowing" l began 10 share
sverybody's skepiicifm TO the existence of
| Gaines street; but Is / really had an object
| in going there if it did exist, / TUNED me
| about to fiu3 the universal guide 10 ksowl-
edge As psrsoDifsd in
THE CORNER GKoCERYMAN.
| In nay transit from Ia. drug man to the
grocery man, I met aad ipterrogsied halt
dozen rational looking humsu b<iogs. The
| monotonou. sound "Gaines street, was
handed back to me with lact knowledge
voice and vacant look. Every lsnp-post 1
saw 1 circumn.Yigated slowly, very much
after the fashion Of deg turning round in
the same spot 10 search OF a soft place on
the foor. Icould not but imagine that in
the oIdsn times, when folks went slower snd
builded better, there had been some friendly
guidance placed somewhere tor the assist
ance of wsyfarers. But the lamp shades
we're as blank as the human faces / bad
c,techized. Wsyworn and weary ] reached
the encyclopedia grocer, and Tor the last
tims sasped ont, 'Sir, can you tell me how
1 to find Gaines s;reet?" 'fGsines streetm he
repeated in voice of the liEelies. interest |;
sc hahn IS street, Well, mum, I've been
living here, boz and man, all nv life, and
never heard Of Games street. I'll look in
the Directory for you" mo, don'tl'' cried
aghsst" The Directory is responsible for my
preseat hopeless condition. l am quite sat-
Il n \