The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-01-27

about like this :: wire, S2 s; nipple, .7Sc-; Two hours labor, SI 90; wax 47c.; Tape, ,4c.: Screws, I5c.: Recharging battery, QSc.: Three hours labor S7 E; string. 2c.: Lard, 66c.: Ponds Extract. sI 5: Springs. 50, E; Railroad fares, g 5: Total. sI9 7. 4, length a perfectly natural thing caiiie aAoa; sf;es we had answered three or four hundred false alarrns-to-wlt, we stopped answering them. Yes, simply rose up, calmly, when slammed across the house by the alarm, calmly inspected the anunciator lock note of the room indicated, and then calmly disconnected that room from the alarm. and went back to bed. as fl nothing had happened. Moreover. lief, of ;ha, room permanently. and did no, send for the expert Well. |; goes with out saying. that in the course of time all rooms were taken off. and the entire ma chine was out of service.
 Il, was a, this unprotected time that the heaviest calamity of all happened ;, he burglars walked IT one night and carried of the burglar alarm yes. sir every hair and hide oi il; ripped i, out tooth and tee-nail. springs. bells. gongs. battery. and all. They took a hundred and fifty miles of copper ~ire. They JUS; cleaned her out. bag and baggage, and never Jeff vestige of her io swear ..; swear by, mean.
 We had time of l, 10 get her back but VIC accomplished Il finally for money. Then ,he alarm firm said that what we needed now was 10 have her put in right with their new patent springs ip the windows to make false alarms impossi- ble. and their new pa,en; clock attach neni, 10 take of and put on the alarm morning and nigh, without human assis- tance. That seemed a good scheme. They promised 10 have the whole thing finished n ten days. They began work and we lei, for the summer They worked d couple of days, then they lei, for the summer. After which the burglars moved m. and begun iheir summer vacation When we returned in the fall the house Was as empty as beer tiose;in premises where painters have been q. work We reflrnished and ,hea sent down 10 harry up the eAper;. He came up and iiaished the Job. ard said Now ,his clock Is SCI to put or inc alarm even. nigh; a; fen. and take !; ofi evey. morn- i; ilyc-;or;y-five. All YOU 'vc -o; ;o to Is - ~lnd her up eFcy week. aad then leave her alone; she Mi ta,,c carc oi the ,.atm herself
 .hiief tha; we had mos. tranquil season during three months The bili MAS ptodis.ous of course. and had said i would not pay it uniiI the new mae hin- ery had proved itself 10 be iiawless. 50 pad inc bill. and the veI1 next day the alarm went To buzzins like len thousand bee-swaEms al ten clock m the morning. turned the hands around twelve hours, according to instructions. and .his took of the alarm. Bu, there was another hitch al night. and had 10 set her ahead twelve hours once more 10 ge; her 10 put the alarm on again. That sor, of non sense wen, on week or two; then the expert came up and pu, in a new clock. Bu, |, Was always failure. His clocks All had the same pen'erse defect-they would put the alarm on in the daytime. and they would not put |, on al nigh, :: and fl you forced Il on yourself. they would take II of the minute your back vas turned.
 Nnw, there IS tire history of that bur slar alarm -eHeHth.ng just IS l, hap pencd nothing eN,enuated. and naught SCI down in malice. Yes. sir and when slept nine years wIih burglars. and maintained an expensive burglar alarm the whole une-ior their protection, not mlnc. and at my sole cos, Tor not 4 d. d een; could ever get them ,o contribute @I iiGs: sad 10 Mrs. HtWlllians tEa, I aad nad enough oi ina, Kind oi pie. 50. with her f4ll consent, took the whole thing out. and traded i; of; for a dog. | don't know what yoa think about il. Mr Twain 5u; think those things are made ,a,ely n the interest O, the bur .l4fs. les. sir, d bur iaT alarm combines n Is person ail ,ha; k objectionable abaa; ] fre. a not. and harcrm. and al the same time has none of the compcn- ssiins advantages. ot one sor; or another. ,ha; cls.otnarily belong with that comoi- nation. G,ood-bye; i sc, o;i here
 So saying, NIT, MeW.!liams gathered up Lis sa,cael aAd umbrella. anu bowed himself e; Of the traia.-fifresr's : 'C btnIggss.
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