The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-08-30
WIT AND HUM0R.

Young lady, that he thought he knew
enough to be able to cut him out.
Ruskin says no couple should marry
until they have courted seven years.
This would lead one to think that Rus
kin runs soda-fountain,
Mrs. Homespun, who has a horrible
time every morning to get her young
brood out of their beds. says she cannot
understand why children are called the
rising generation
please to give me something, sir?'
says an old woman. ~ had blind
child; he was my only means OF sub
sistence, and the poor boy has recover
ed his sight"
II is estimated that there are about
2.500,000 stammererS ia the world
This, we presume, does not include the
young men who only stammer when
they attempt to pop the question.
Yes, said the man, its just my
luck! ! ordered that lawn mower to
run early in the morning, to rouse the
stutiing out of that neighbor of mine,
and drat me if they didn't send one OF
the new noiseless kind.
An Altoona man claims TO have seen
yeritable hoop snake near that place.
1t is strongly suspected that he devoted
considerable time TO inspecting the con-
tents Of the barrel before he saw the
hoop. NorriStolCa Herald.
Digby has been working hard at Ital-
ian all winter, and resolves to try lit
tie on a newly arrived emigrant: Par
late Italiamo, signor?' Emigrant-
"Arrah! Now what are ye givin us?'
Life.
a Syracuse woman has been dream
ing Of seeing a hen walk fence, and
now what bothers her is she can't re-
member whether it's sign that next
winter will be a mild one, or that there
will be death in the family.-Syra-
cuSe Herald.
An Iowa man asserts that the ground
freezes to such depth in Dakota that
it never thaws out and that any one
who will sink we'll can always have
supply of ice water Satan bushes
clear up to the roots of his horns when
such mar as this turns h'nlseA loose
--b'S"afc" 4''0"'e
1t is all well enough to attempt to
cheer US up by saying that fortune
knocks at least once at every man
door We all know that the stranger
is pretty sure to make her call when we
are so far away that we couldn't hear
her knock Il sue oa'Iefeu 'he uoor uo"h
WIN " clup'
A condemned murderer IN Boston re-
ceived much sympathy from a number
OF ladies, who daily brought him flow
ers and various deIicacies. But one day
he was detected picking his teeth with
jack-knife, and his fair spmpathiz-
ers deserted him and left him to his
la'e'
A New York man has compiled one
thousand samples OF poetry from
autograph albums Unless ne receives
$4,000 ne threatens to publish them.
Here; We Il have to borrow the money
but we Il head that subscription with
$500. The wretch may have a stan
"a Of our own.
Three persons have sued Rochester
paper for libel. claiming 800. 600 in
each case. Almost any editor can mt
his hand in his pocket and fork over
$500. 600. but he won't do II He nre.
fers to let the law take lis course, and
cut down the ,nm TO cents, Editors
are lust that mean - NorrStown Herald
r,,,..;" 60 =, L.,..,,- -.,.
trv hotel Male aue.f, "Td ike r. no
called at 4 to.morrow Morning. I'm ,,o-
inc dshinc +" Female domestic Isin.
pidlyl. "Eb9n Male ouest (deliher-
ately( Pm roinr f.6ing toNmorro,y
mornino and wish to me cailed earIy
NO, Iot9r lion ~ E.,noI" dor,"s,in
CstoIidIyl. "WiI van ,ing9S '''
~, -,
naor ,i,a. o;t,. ,.,.,,. &c -, apSi,o
man who snp,, IN t,o cLoir ,bs, 5o ,,a,
ano,g tbo hos, ~ HAN ar,ata,,r s;no"n we
and he wa. borifoJ - g"o - 800 ,,. j.; :,
his naner ..onn Of ,,e hast ~ " d,Ir 40, %
toar ,usgers.n He has gone fsnino
until il blows over. Cincinnati Sqttlr.
day NjgM
Mark Twain has celebrated mis- three
chiIdren's birthdays recently by three
granite watering troughs, inscribed
WIN thelr names, along much travel