The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1883-05-03
HERE AND THERE.

A bottle Of whisky was found in .
wall forty years old. But 1t grew no
older-that is, the whisky did not.
Il the generation Of Pharasees dead
missouri Republican.
We have not been reading the Repub-
lican lately end don't know.
Inter Ocean: Attorney Ker has now
spoken on the staR-ronte cases six days.
When he finishes the government should
issue patent on him Is an improvement
on wind-milla.
Hereafter when you hear any New
England scientific sentimentAlist talk
ing about the cruelty Of the west toward
the poor Indians, whisper IN his ear:
''Tewsbury." That will probably @close
the debate"
Bless the Lord, something has been
found At last which gets away with the
mule. In q certain Louisiana parish
there IL heroic little animal called the
buffalo gnat, which downs . mule and
puts An end TO his kicking In q very
short space of time.
The brakemen on the Santa Fe say:
9epo-ky, EH-pory, E1-Te-ky.-Com-
monWealth.
We suppose the heightened and esthet-
ic editor Of the Commonwealth would
like Il better Il the brakemsn would say:
Topeker, Emporier and Eureker.
Beware OF unworthy evangelists, tenn
perAnce lecturers, reformed men of all
sorts, who want to tell "the story of
their lives" and give you halt of the
proceeds. Such is the advice of the
Christian Advocate 10 Methodist pas
tors, and its mighty good advice, in our
judgment.
Atchison Globe: Governor Click is
said TO be very indignant over the publ
cation OF Clicks Bad Boy" and we
have heard that he accuses the Globe of
originating them. This is q mistake
close reader Of the newspapers could
not very we'll make. The "Bad Boy il
reported As favoring libel suit.
The Baltimore American patty says:
"'OYer the desert of DEATH remarks
Robert J. InRersOl, the sphinx gazes
forever, but never speaks.' How very
unlike Mr.. Ingersol. His tongue ira
verses the desert OF death with the in
terminable continuity of Q caravan Of
dromedaries that starts at Damascus and
scarcely terminates at Bassora."
Inter- Ocean: The best things Of life
do not come without being called and
sought after. It Is . good thing for
men and women TO make q habit OF
placing themselves IN the ways fire.
quented by the best. Many q man and
woman have lost honor and virtue un-
der q false idea that they are ''seeing
life,"
Each OF the star route lawyers seems
70 be preparing himself tor . speech Of
Q week In length. The country IL be-
ginning to feel that there il . field for
vigorous dynamite practice. As rule
the lawyer who viii gable away for .
whole week on q single speech, IL An en-
envy OF Justice and the rights of man.
kind. There may be exceptions TO this
rule, but the country does not think the
star route trial one Of them.
The agricultural department stStis-
tics make out the average price Of corn
In the entire United States for eleven
years, from 1871 to 1881 inclusive, TO be
about forty-three cents per bushel. The
highest annual average was sixty-four
Cents. In 1874. while the lowest was
thirty-one cents, In 1878. The aggregate
value has increased in ten years from
&435, 900. 900 to $3.50. 0o0. 900, though the
last crop was the smallest for the last
seven years.
Rufus Hatch, the famous New York
capitalist, seems to have fixed views on
the dynamite question. He has just re-
turned from Q trip to England, and was
interviewed as to our relations with that
county, subject to which 1t appears
he has given much more attention than
was generally suspected. His report is
IN the main satisfactory. He found all
Glasses well disposed toward US, and
personally he was treated Every nicely"
anu O4ly OAOuA OA tAC AOAA[OA SAo~ ~
could see was caused by dynamite, but
this he thinks need not cause any per-
mAnent international trouble, for the
British are beginning to discover that II
IL "not Americans, but imported refu.
gees and indictments" who are at the
bottom of the trouble. As to the ques-
zion, What is to be done about dyna-
miteI he makes two important suggss
lions. The first is q strictly legal rem
edy: that he be made '.judge, jury and
sheriff for these fellows for just about
twenty-four hours"-at the end Of which
time he promises that there shall not b
adynamitist uuhung in the country
The second is, that he should have the
editing rfor just twentY.four hours, Of
every newspaper in the, land"-at the
end of which time he promises to "mAks
public sentiment that would be entirely
COO warm for these rufElans."