The Bozeman weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1889, 1883-06-20
CHRONICLE CULLINGS.

When the farmer cuts his corns he
goes over his acres.
Can goat be relied upon in court as
an evidence in rebuttal?
Can any one improve his condition by
whining. If not, whine not.
A promising young man-The fellow
who always says "I1l see you later"
The gossip is like a bicycle, in that
she is exceedingly liable to run a person
down.
"A young lady resembles ammunition,
because the powder is needed before the
ball.
Eating onions not only prevents the
lips from chapping, but usually keeps the
chaps from Tipping.
The tramp is not, as a general thing,
wealthy, but he can afford to spend his
Summer in the country.
The most difficult arithmetic that a
man has to face is when he tries to re-
concile $40 salary with $50 wife.
Latin has now become virtually dead
language, being chiefly used by physi-
clans in writing their prescriptions.
George H. Corliss, at whose works, in
Rhode Island, the big Centennial engine
was built, is building the engines for the
first cotton mills to be erected in China.
Mrs. Augusta Evans Wilson, the
Southern novelist, takes much pride in a
dairy and some Jersey cows, and makes
jellies and wines which her guests praise
highly.
W. L. Wicks, of California, has offered
5000 and twenty acres of land if the
Odd Fellows of that state will raise $751;
600 more and locate the Odd Fellows
College and Home at Pomona, Los An
geles.
"Did you know" said cunning Cen
tile to Jew, "that they hang Jews and
jackasses together in Portland!" "In-
deed" retorted Solomon, "den it ish veil
dat you and l ish not dare"
"My DEAR" said an anxious matron to
her daughter, ut Is very wrong for young
people to be throwing kisses at each
other" "Why so, mamma? Pm sure
they don't hurt, even if they do hit"
The French have recently constructed
a gun that will put ball through fifteen
inches of armor. It weighs five tons,
but is yet about ten tons too light to
shatter the cheek of an American book
agent.
Cyclones are becoming very frequent
in the States, and when a young chap
takes his girl out riding she softly muir
murs: "Hold me tight, Charley. A
cyclone might come along and blow me
away from you." Even cyclones have
their advantages.
Are your domestic relations agree
able?" asked judge of colored witness.
"What's dat conjunction, boss?" II ask,
are your family ties pleasant" "Wall,
no, sab. When a 'owan ties a man
when he's drunk an whips him till he's
sober, doan' think it's pleasant, sah."
"Oh why art thou not near me? Oh!
my love ?" sang serenadcr in Glasgow,
the other night; and yet when the girl,
who was leaning too far out of the win
dow, lost her balance and dropped right
on him, the fellow acted as confused
as could be. Some men can not stand
success
First. dude, with an embarrassed smile
-"say, Augustus, really believe I've
broken a corset lacing. Have you an
extra one with you?" Second dude,
with an expression of Theoretically !!
why Algernon, where could you fix it if
had one? The gyurls are all looking
at us, ye know"
Bridget-"And how much the pale
young lady that sat mkt the military
gintleman resimbled her father" Dem
nis-"I "Indade it's meself that remarked
that same to Mary! should have
known she was his daughter if I'd niver
laid eyes on him."
Sarah Bernhardt has been getting her
life insured for the benefit Of her son
Maurice, but the managers of the insur-
ance company demanded the separate
opinions of five physicians before issuing
policy. The doctors allagrced that the
frail Sarah possessed remarkable physi-
cal strength.