Connecticut western news., 1883-01-31
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS,. WHAT WE FIND IN THEM THIS WEEK. The Robber and the EditOr-Advice to Young Men-Ile COntinued-A Batch
 of Little Jokes.

Listen, my children, saldavenerable man, "and I will tell you story, beau- tiful and true. Once upon time there was bad, bold robber, who had his haunt in the wilds of mountain. At the foot of the mountain, in the valley, was village. It was not a very large village, yet in it a newspaper was printed. The robber looked upon the editor of the newspaper as being the chief man of the village, and thought he must be very rich. So one dark night he came down from his den in the mountain and stole into the dwelling of the editor and then into the room where he slept. The editor, being good man, slept as soundly and sweetly as a child. The robber searched all the place, but could not find the caskets of gold and diamonds he had supposed to be stored up in the room. He then put his hands in all the pockets of the clothes of the editor, but found no money in any of them.
 "The rObber then stood for a time as in stupor. He was like one awakened from dream. He listened for some mo- ments to the deep, regular breathing of the sleeping editor, and as he stood so, he began to feel sad. The heart of the bold, bud man was touched. Quietly he took from his purse $4.75 placed the money in the pantaloons pocket of the editor, and softly stole from the house. T,,4 oII n and put on his pantaloors, there was a jingle as of money. A look of astonish- ment came into the face of the editor. He put his hand into his pocket and drew out the money When he saw this great wealth, the knees of the editor smote together; he turned pale, tainted, and fell to the floor, and there lay as one who is dead"
 "Oh oh grandfather, did they catch the bad robber man and hang him on 6 tree ?"
 "No, my dears, they did not catch the bad, bold robber. He is still living. From that day he reformed, and got g place as cashier in big bank, where you will be glad to hear that he is doing vel and is greatly respected by all hif church."
 "And the poor editor man, grand father What became of him ?"
 "Ah, yes, my darlings! had almos forgotten him. We'll, when he came ou of his faint, and his eyes again saw al | tLa ,,,o,,oxr lx,ipor oho1,f tbo room uhar. it had fallen, he was sorely perplexed | At last he felt sure it had been quietl, placed in his pocket at night by grea and rich neighbor, who owned lanyard and was running for the Legislature So for days and days he printed in hi paper whole columns of praise of the ricl neighbor, who was elected to the office and ever after the two men were tn, greatest friends. Thus, my dears, dt good actions always meet with their re ward. "- Virginia City Enterprise DIsooURTEoUs LEGISLATOR. An Austin merchant says that Col Harris Cheever, member of the Legis lature, is the champion impolite man O Texas.
 "What did he do that was so i'm polite ?" we asked.
 1T met him on the Avenue," replie. the merchant, "and he did not lift hi hat to me, and it is the same hat solt him on credit during the last session o the Legislature. "-Ieras Sittings. LITTLE PURE CHEEK.
 els the lady of the house in ?' asked tramp of the servant who rang the door bell of one of the stateliest mansions il Austin.
 "De lady ob de house don't come t de door to talk wid de like ob you"
 "Then," said the tramp, elevating tn remnant of hat, with a grace Chester field might have envied, |" tell the lad of the house gentleman wishes to spea with her ill the parlor. "-Sittings.
 AN OLD STORY RE-To1D.
 It was in the good old times of Mobil,
 when the Whig and Democratic paper
 were laundering at one another and th
 public was anxiously looking for gor,
 The able editors, in the meantime, use
 to meet surreptitiously every night an
 have quiet game of cards. One da the democratic editor got sick, an
 couldn't Ego for' his hated contemp' : rary. He therefore dropped him not advising him of the fact, and asking hi to write the article himself This tf whig editor at once did, and pitched int his own paper and himself in fine sty to the extent of column or more. Thu was the great controversy kept up, an the public bamboozled. . A WARM ADVANCE. An Austin clerk is in the habit of dray , ing his salary for several months in a. down to the store half an hour later tha usual.
 } "What makes you so late ?" asked tl
 proprietor.
 . "It was so cold, I didn't like to g up."
 r "I don't see how you come to find = cold," growled the boss. "You dre l your salary for next June yesterday."- 3 Siftings.
 l NO FUN THERE. It is told of the same student that r once returned to college from the Chris
 mas holidays week after the beginnir B of the term. The President being stri t ill noting absences of this kind, S. l soon found himself ill the "awful pre- l. ence," to give an account of himself. l "Mr. S., why did you remain @ home after the term opened?" demand, e the President.