The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1883-01-20
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

The new Court dress-A new lawsuit
An old maids laugh-He he he
Say Lights-Sun. moon. and stars.
The best way to shorten sail is to stop
advertising.
Desperation is sometimes a sinister in
sPirer of inferiority.
Never judge man by his clothes-his
tailor may have a suit against him.
young girl may be sure a man loves
her unutterably when he sits In her presence
for an hour without speaking.
In a Western mine there is this advice
s'DO not fall down this shaft, rs there are
men at work at the bottom of it,"
He who wiIfuIIy prevaricates, or culmin-
ates his neighbOr is beneath the dignity of
manhood and a contemplate nuisance in
every community.
An individual who called his first daughter
Kate, when his wife presented him with
another GIRL promptly christened her Dupli-
cate
Is the bowling Of a dog always followed by a
death p asked a little girl OF her father. '' Not
always ny dear because Fometimes the man that
shoots misses him. thereby.
.E.thetic wife Csobbing)-'' Dearest, I'll see
that your grave il kept green-but not one of
those horrid bright greens. A nice olive gray
green, with an old bronze tombstone, will look
too awfuIIy lovely for anything
person with an interrogative mind asks the
editor Of sporting paper. " How many cards
are there in a pack?" That depends, we have
heard. upon the number the other player has up
his sleeve. You can't always sometimes. generally
tell how many cards there are in a pack
- lave you no love for the beautiful. then ?"
quietly sud she in winsome tones. " N-n-o. but
I think shouId have. if only dared" Z" Have
courage. Young man. Oh, wasn't thinking
of YOU at all. l." But she hustled out of the
room. Lating herself for having sprung the trap
too soon.
Boston theologist thinks that twenty-five
minutes is time enough for the best preachers to
sav their sermons, and wants the time cut down
one-haIf for the poorer ones That's all very
pretty. but where's the man who will risk his life
by selecting the poorer ones?-
Consideration: :. A dog" says the HOteI Mail.
:. shoaId never. under any circumstances, be al
lowed in the dining room. course not.
Think what shock It would be to the poor
tbins's sensibilities should ne suddenly recognize
tho remains Of an old friend in the fried
sausages-
Coming generations will sing :he praises Of
the GOOD man who sent a governments
empIOye in q government carriage drawn by
n Government horse-all Of which devoted to
his personal use-to notify lady living in a
house which he owns. that her family must not
sing lively songs on Sunday.
An English paper says that when King Cete-
wayo reached his restored Zulu kingdom, he
found that his royal cattle and other possessions
had pas=ed into the hands Of numerous indivi-
duaI- As ZuluIInd Is still wholly uncivi-
Ized. the chances are that the king will get bis
property back.
A man, say the New Orleans 1i"ss- Democrat
was carving coon bs had caught, when he met
three little bows in the road. All Of them said,
sxc;,edIv and at once mister, give me that
coon. give me that coon, mister ''Well, boys
IN tell YOU what will do. II you will tell ne
the PARTY you belong TO. and why. Ill give It to
tbe how who gives the best reason for his faith
"T-m a Republican, because that party saved
the Union" said one. Sim Greenbaeker,
because that party is in favor Of plenty OF
ronev.' When the time Of the third boy
came. he said: '.I'm Democrat, cause l want
the coon