Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-03-16
orr KALEIDOSCOPE.

Town hauls-carters.
Dorsey is getting mulish
A notable figure 81 200, 900
The latest out-thc club-gocr.
Bookkccpcrs borrowers.
Keifcr had better stop all his papers.
Breakfast rolls-it does in md ocean.
Satin-covcred chairs are seldom sat in.
Isn't this first-rate time for hot beds
Did you ever zee a bald.hcalcd woman
Aren't your hens laying very well now ?
Oyary.
Aaron made the golden calf, but ii was
Congress that made the silver dollar.
A classic coachmau- lmpecunious tutor in
a college town.
English sparrows are said TO he good on
toast. They arc pretty good on bread
crumbs.
An exchange says that a lot OF Russian
dressmakcrs are coming to this country.
Head EN- OF There's such rush on dress
makers now that we can't pay the bills
''rhe man," said Mrs. Bascom, severely,
who is 80 illiteratc as to call leather
'lathcr,' doesn't deserve to have Anything to
strap his rnzor on"
III everyone" excaims sententious cx-
change, could be induced to say nothing
but what needs to be said, and to say only
what they know to be true, how much more
silent and comfortable tho world would be
come" True enough, brother, but what
would become Of us poor editors?
A Pennsylvania man proposed to kill the
baby in order to reduce tic expenses OF the
family, but his wife finally persuaded him to
reduce the dogs rations insteai |, and in few
weeks the family WAS ric!. enough to buy
another dog.
A Delaware widover of three score and
ten, the father Of % children, built, with a
, view to their economical education q school
) house Of his own, and hired a young lady
teacher. The widowcr soon after married
the young lady teacher, and the institution
has now grown to a college, with the old
! gentleman for president aud his six Oldest
sons for professors. Tn.y haven't yet begun
to 60 outside OF the family for students,
either
An exchange heads nm item, epic stands
on the elevated roads" If il il the vcnera-
, bic restaurant pie, We don't wonder tina, it
stands, but We pity the next train shat comes
along
Blobson and Mrs. b. had their htth baby
Chrstcncd at church, last Sun lay Blobson
remarked, casually, after giving us the i;cm
!. that none Of his family scemci to he Free.
, will Baptiss.
!, An agents journal says that the true book
agent is always candid. We'll, not always
but sometimes. We never saw but ono o
r them candicd. He was smcarcd with moas
: scs and rolled In lot If hcn-fcathcts, an,
, then he was licked fact
n Southern papers are publishing an item Il
J. the fleet that IN e rtan town in Georges
% the cats are being carried off in great mum
hers by peculiar epidemic. That pcculia
" epidemic will soon strike these parts. 1t
3" a gool-szcd meal bag with some stones il
e the bottom of 1t.
:. A gentleman living in st. Louis, and whc
Il rides from his home 10 his store -somc tw
y miles-cvcry morning, says that his coach
~ man often amuses hinslf by killing tn
V sparrows on the streets with his whip as he
S driving down town, so numerous are they
> That coachman i.a crack shot.
l. A new way to pay church debts has bee
: introduced in Rocktown, OHIO. Church SUP
pers are given at which the pc Iple who d
III not laugh nor talk are entertained free {
n charge those who talk are charged twenty
IN five cents, and those who laugh, thirty cents
re The whole assembly WAS fined one ever
$. in the soup.
III Yellow is the color for March, s. the al
" thoritics say. A vagary is to twist au in
v, mensely long scarf of yellow silk around I'll
ne neck and fasten II with a large antiqr
~ ~ brooch or with lace pin set with gems.
vagary with us is to twist an old yellow nee
:, shawl around our neck aud fastcn it with
- two-for-a- cent brass pin,
n. The ruling passion OF some men is ev,
H. strong in death. John Ziska was distil
he gushed leader OF the prosecuted sect of ii
u. llussites. 1t is recorded Of him, that in d.
cd ing he ordered his skin to be made the Co
tie cring of n drum. This isn't quite 50 lad
's- the story of the old farmer who, when dyin
- requested that his teeth Ill gut be pulled nj
Il. stump fence built arou-c lis grave.
mt Rhode Islands reform scLool for boys hi
no locks on the doors and no bars on Il
of windows.-Er, 1t has lars on the door
m, though, and locks on the windows.
ne Some people elect their Professionally the
OF names. There is an ocuist in Westel
IN city whose name is Prof. |. Boil.
al A foreign paper received at the postol
ny in Chattanooga, Tennessee, was aIdrcsse
nd "lIenry Jones, southeast coast of Amcric
n or elsewhere" Guess that paper could
al; delivered at any postollice in America.
he Blobson says that there is only one thin
int to him. whose end is involved in mysler
OK and that is the coil OF n woman's back hal
re-
ret Mary Sanders OF Ohio Is TO be .congrat
lated. She appears to have married We
= domestic sort of man. Iii. name is Jol
lieabout
There is one kind Of lay sermon which
8 exceedingly effective. II is when muse
lar Christian gets up on his eoosc-cGs "a
knocks scoffer down.