National Republican., 1883-05-16

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There is a church yard, small an neat,
Close by the little village street;
And there's gravestone, washd with tears,
ON which 10 carved, aged years"
Tho name How vain cognomens arei
The name did read, Methuselah."
-Conmeretdi Advertiser.
MRS. LANGrRY thinks American ladies'
too plump. "A fox one dayA-"-Lowel citizen.
WICKED Partisan OF departed genius: A
lucky man, the late Wagner; ho Is the only one
who can no longer hear his own music.
A GAZE is on record whore barber and his
victim were both happy. The former talked on
without interruption and the latter was deaf
Toledo american.
IT is the fashion this year for bald headed
people to wear their SUBMITS so highly polished
that when fly lights 1t he'll slip and break his
neck Yonkers Gazette.
LET us pursue the subject little farther"
said the medical students at the bedside OF a dy-
ing pationt SO the next night they went and
stole the body from the oemetery.--Sdera sunbeam.
DID you ever eat one of the Japanese plums
| grown In Louisiana7 II you want something good
wrap piece Of roller composition up IN piece OF
sheepskin and call II RJapanese plum.-Deirott
Free Prea
"DoNT you think l have good face for
the stage?" asked q lady with histrsonic aspira-
tions. al don't know about the stage" replied
her gallant companion, "but you have lovely
| face f T buss."
LITERARY Matron-"What does Shakes,
| peare mean by his frequent use OF the phrase Go
tor Maiterof fact Husband-"well, perhaps he
thought It wouldn't be polite or proper TO finish
the sentence London Punch.
A MUSICAL journal says that the origin Of
the jewsharp is unknown. That's nonsense.
Vinegar was first known as Juice sharp--and vine
gar came into the world honestly enough with q
mother known and acknowledged. - Omaha Repub-
lican.
JAY GOULD has one bit of philosophy which
is worth more to him than half his fortune. He
says: II long ago learned not to get mad. The
man who gets mad hurts himself more than any
body else He destroys his Digestion and Ia un-
happy.
NJ. WADDINGToN, who has been appointed
TO represent France ut the cars coronation,
claims that the sum Of $4,000 appropriated his
expenses is not enough. The Post Express would
like to know just what NJ. Waddington's ideas OF
| q first class funeral are.
A CAT has nine lives. But even that doesn't
enable you to comprehend how you can hear
her or him. as tho case may be, spit and squall
and yell In flfteen different places on four shed
roofs andtwo fences at the same time. Alas, how
weak and vain q thing is science, after all?-Bur.
hngton Ha,Okeye.
MRS. JOHN JACOB AsroR paid 5000 for n
flower the other night, wbereat people talk. But
they do not add that 1t was at q charitable enter
tainment and that the money went for the great
est OF these" Mrs. Astor every year sends colony
ofpoor boys and girls to the west, and gives away
thousands OF dollars besides.
THE Comte de Paris recently sent to a
nurseryman in this country for some dogwood
trees. to plant about his villa at Cannes. One of
his most vivid recollections of this country Is Of
battle fought by the army Of the Potomac In tho
Virginia swamps, when the woods for miles
around were white with dogwood blossoms.
A MAN who refused to pay 81 900 for the
land upon which Cincinnati now stands, when he
could have boughtit II for that amount, died few
days ago in the poorhouse. It is firmly believed
thst he was fortunate In not making the invest
ment To appear at the judgment seat as tho
owner of Cincinnati wonld handicap q mans
chances for even halfway comfortable "sit" In
the other place.-Post. Erpress.
THE disgusting story, says the Mail, now
told on Murray hill Of ofawidow who. the day on
which her husband was buried, engaged herself
to young man who has for some seasons shown
her more marked than discreet attentions, Is only
equaled by that of the New York merchant who
coming home from Europe with the body OF his
deceased wife on the steamer engaged himself to
lady passenger He married her in less than
year, and now she, too is what they call "a young
and attractive widow"
GILBERT the partner of Sullivan, who was
knighted, wns not similarly honored for what tho
anglophobist OF the Kansas City Journal con.
siders very good and sufficient reasons. Ono was
that he had more brains than the composer, and
/ brains are not needed in the English nobility
J | hp min yraa AZ he had
mercifully satiuzed the aristocracy from his firas
production all the way to "Iolanthe" that they
hate him. We have faith enough In Gilbert'a
brains to believe he would have refused the honor
had 1t been offered. Like Gladstone aud Carlyle
} he is greater man than any title that could be
given.
BISHOP BOWMAN does not believe that
spirits upset chairs aud move tables but he is not
able to account for many remarkable experiences.
, eve are much nearer the spirit world than We
think, perhaps" he says, land the spirits of the
departed dead, am convinced, have certain
influence over our minds. When on the Red sea
made 1t a practice to pray every night and
morning for my wife, from whom | was absent.
and who was at the time an invalid. One even
Ing knelt down rs usual, and tried to pray for
her. but found could not do It. This worried
me very much, but attributed my incapacity to
nervousness On the following morning again
tried to pray for Mrs. Bowman, experiencing the
1, same difficulty. At length the thought occurred
, to me, Your wife may be dead. on my arrival
at Rome found letter conveying the news that
: Mrs. Bowman had died OIL the same evening that
/ found myself unable to pray for her."
THE Broadway-note-b of the Tribune
tells us that John Mccullough has declined play
by a Greek teacher In New York which in outline
at least IL not in treatment has the fire of genu-
inely tragic romance. 1t is entitled THE Wife of
Mletus." The play represents wife married by
her parents to Greek gentleman of not much
force. The Gauls capture their city and take the
wife away to wait for tribute. They take her to
France and she lives in the chiefs house with his
r mother. The two fall IN love, but the barbarian
, is an honorable enemy and host. Az last on the
-, eve Of her reclamation the woman's passion for
: the Gaul breaks forth. II makes her fend. She
accuses her husband OF concealing Rart OF the
{ tribute, and asks the Ganl TO dispatch him. The
husband, also made honorable by the Gau's
ohiyalry, comes forward and gives up voluntarily
tho concealed position OF the tribute. Then the
women tells her lover that she will kill her hus.
. band while he sleeps. He oousults the oracle,
! which bids him beware Of unlovely love. As the
husband is about 10 take his wife across the inter-
yening river the Gaul stabs her and exhibits tab.
lets In proof Of her treachery. But. Greek,
loved herl" say the Gaul, aud kills himself
, Mr.. BOOTH must be something of "prig,"
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