The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1883-02-23
DEER LODGE, MONTANA, FEBRUARY 20, 1888
1885, WHOLE NO. III.
WHY WE LAUGH.
A guarantees Of good fai,h-giving chur
sf0,@-PecE.

A snasantss ef good fai.h-giving church
sf0,~.-Ps.cE.
job never stopped over, but he boiled over
onee.-Lorel Courier.
Only eoiored individuals can be black
bsid.--LoseeiI Courier.
The backbone Of winter may not be
broken, but 1t wants to take its liver pad off,
Neg Orleans PicayRae.
The success Of an architects plans depends
! very much upon what construction you put
upon them.--B Boston Poss.
Utah hos marble enough to supply every
pssson in The United States with . tomb
ss"ne, sad 10 rather anxieas TO DO it.-L0,cell
| fitirrx.
Liberalism is creeping into all churches
bat the pssof preachers notice that 1t has not
yet ssrack tina contribution -box.-Net, Or.
ieaas fieayne.
M"nry is called the great circulating
mediun bprsuse men have to circulate livelv
Ia get medium amount Of Philddelphid
| Chronicle Herald.
\ Jasper county (Ga.) man rejoces in the
name Of Younger Funger Outyonder Stand
farther OXh John Quixate Pilgo Hedgeth.-
Bostoa Transcript.
| The air is so clear At MpRtclair, New Jer-
| sey, that you can stand on Eagle Rock and
detect the clam In . csuldron Of chowder At
Coney Isisnd.--Puck.
| HDayid DAVIS shoald cross the ocean,
| the stewards might net avoid him, but they
| would be apt TO give him . wide berth
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
Nine. Medjeska ssys that her name is re-
ally zejewska." When she arrived in
this country there we're not enough buzz
saws TO pronounce the name.
Brooklyn girl has married "the living
skeleton" weighing sixty-ssven pounds, and
nov they are one bone aud one flesh. He is
the bone. .s-OH City blizzard.
A Chicago man has just received one cent
damages from man who ran away with his
wifs. He feels satisfied now that justice has
been done him.--Le,oeR Citizen.
The increased tendency to play chess by
telegraph Suggests our intima,ing thst IL
wouldt be q bad idea to have prize Gght. and
cooking mains conducted IN the same way
Rome SenttneI.
Why is it tbs. little couEtry like France
is, in proportion to resources, so much richer
than America - E1chasge. !Guess 1t must
be because Frenchmen sell American women
boaness. .--BrOoktyn Star.
The sessions Of State legislature. all over
the country are opened with religious exer-
cises aud many really devout people are be-
ginning In consequence to doubt the efficacy
Of psaseY.-L0peH Citizen.
A mean boy put a fish in the can of a
West End mlkman, and though he took the
mi IN fps w hn 10
customers dropped him. Science couldn't
argue against that fish to their satisfaction
Boston Post.
The London Lancet declares that wedge
Of old.fashioned plum-pudding makes good
lunch for school children. As dead weight
to snchor scholar at his seat, the American
restaurant mince pie lays over the pudding
about S5 per cent.
A Brooklyn grocer put six thousand two
handred and fifty beans In glass jar, and
che guessing ranged all the way from five
hundred and fifty to twenty five thousand.
1t is one thing to know beans and another to
estimate numbers.-Detr0it Free Press.
Chicago Tribune: Col. James Coulter, |
member Of the Tennessee Legislature, wears
his hair like = woman, bangs and all. There |
Is some curiosity in this section to know |
whst style Of bicycle Col. Coulter rides, and |
what Is his daily allowance Of cigarettes"
All old sharp advertised, "Book. keeping
taught in one lesson; terms, one dollar" He |
got . large class on the opening night, and, |
after they were seated and the dollars rushed |
in, he said, "The whole art of book keeping |
hinges on three words-Never lend them."- |
TAe Judge.
They are nov telling a story about a |
Chicago girl who insisted on throwing her
shes sfter newly married couple. The car
rage 10 total wreck, . doctor has the bride |
aud the horse under treatment, and large |
numbers Of men are searching The ruins for |
the groom.-Chas.
III can't hold this baby any longer" called |
out the yosns husband and father, "its get /
ting TOO bsavy." "Pshau, Edward" re-
piled . mufffed voice from the other room,
..'yoa used to bold me for hours and never
and the baby 10 not feathsr com.
pared ID what / vas." 81 was q feol," said |
and she was too sleepy to dispute
With him.
Joseph Smith fell down the cellar stairs |
the ether day and broke his left leg, his right |
arm, tue ribs, his .nose, one finger, and cut |
bis scalp, sprsined his ankle and put his
shoulder ont Of joint. He was picked up in
sensible, and, on recovering, evidently vas q |
little bevildersd 90 to what had occurred,
for his first question was, sWho did they
nominate. s.-BpsteR Post.
Two scntlemcu, one of them Legislator,
ssYelled eareiessly past saloon. After they
had parsed twenty steps beyond The saloon
Ihe legislator stopped and said: "Let as 60
beck and get drink" 81 thought you
promised your Wits not to drink while you
we're In Austin?" "Eo, didn't promise
Lhai. / promised when cane to saloon I
would 90 past IL, and have kept 10 like
man. have passed the saloon; now let us
70 back and get drink al q reward for
keeping my proniss. SJtiass.
90 scme of our city stores have been con-
u snsly annoyed by children coming to the
Aeox and asking for cards, empty boxes and
hat sort of things. The clerks are, of
course, down on the youngsters and the war
fare never ends. The other day little girl
opened the store door and, sticking her head
in, called out: assy, mister, have you got
iay empty boxes go NO." said the clerk
nat very politely. "Got any cards ?" ANo."
Got amy slnanaes ?" No." "Got any
empty bottles ?' "No.n "Gos any pictures ?"
Ne" ices cry sense?" "So--yes--no-
Tss-yea miserable little wretch," and the
rtesk few eut or the door, but the youngstsr
xas up the next alley making faces st him,
md he caase hack paaadsy than he had baen
'isce his salary was reduced.
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