Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-06-15
NOT A SUCCESS.

Dear me, sad Mrs. HeatherIy,
some folks do have all the lucki j
thought when my Cousin Speakwell
was appointed assistant bishop of the
Cranberry Swamp diocese, that it was
quite social distinction. But here's
Helen Jones's uncle been put up for
Chinese ambassador! And l suppose
she'll get all her tea and chessmen for
nothing now, besides the credit Of the
thingr' /
And Mrs. Heatherley actually burst
into tears.
From the very first moment of her
arrival in Cherry hill, Mrs. Jones had
been her rival. If she decorated her
parlors in lotus-leaves and cat-tails
Mrs. Jones Immediately ordered an
artist from Philadelphia TO paint hel
ceilings in peacock-plumes and half.
open sunfower buds. If she gave a
light tea, Mrs. Jones followed with 9
ull-hedged dinner-party. If she haf
fancy masquerade-party. Mrs. Jone,
issued cardS Tor PR resse -s-' -
And now the glories of the assistan
bishopric were entirely eelipsed by tn,
ambassador to China.
Mrs. Jones ordered her white ponies
and basket-phaeton, and drove in state
through Cherry hill, to invite all her
friends and acquaintance to an even
ing reception.
ITO meet my uncle" she said, gra.
ciously, "before he sails for Chinal"
For Mrs. Jones, albeit she never had
seen her Uncle John Jones, was seized,
all of sudden, with the most affec-
tionate devotion for him, and tele-
graphed him to come at once to Cherry
bill. And the letter which followed
was full of niece-like devotion.
81 have always ielt," she said, "that it was a
cruel deprivation TO see so little of my bus.
bands relations. And now that we are so
soon to lose you, must insist on al least one
visit. We have some charming people in
Cherry hill, who would esteem it a privilege
to make your acquaintance. We shall meet
you, without fail, at the siz-torty train from
Philadelphia, on Wednesday next"
Mr.. Jones, a blunt, bullet-headed
man, who was in the drug business,
scratched his nose when he heard Of
his wife's prowess.
"It's all a puzzle to me-" said he.
Uncle John never had any brains
"Dear mev' said Mrs. Jones, "what
brains are needed to be a Chinese am
bassador? It's all political influence
and wire-pulling, don't you see?'
"Well," said Mr.. Jones, "theres
something in that remember Uncle
John being president of Polk and
Dallas club, for years ago, or so, in the
village. And he manufactured torch
lights for the political professions, and
had very good voice for hurrah'
What puzzles me, however, is what on
earth he will think of our getting 50
very affectionate all of a sudden, alter
neglecting him for all these years.
"No matter what he thinks said
Mrs. Jones, briskly, I'm soon bring
him around. Only think-ambassador
to Chinal What will Mrs. Heatherley
say? You must telegraph at once for
plenty of pates de foie gras and cold,
potted game. And I'll have the two
cOlored walters from the hotel. Mary
Ann is very well in her way, but she
will need additional help on an oeca'
sion like this. / shall ask Ex-Governor
Philipstarbaugh and his wife-they
are visiting the Whites; and an eS-
pecial card shall be sent to that stupid
old assistant bishop that Charlotte
Heatherley boasts so much about, MI
Chimefeld, the poet, is in town also
and I shall beg Miss Bulkley to bring
her violin and give us one OF those
sweet Scandinavian Dreams that she
improvses so sweetly. Let me see
there will be about sixty people here
unless l receive more regrets than l
at present anticipate"
Sixty people, eh?" repeated Mr.
Jones. "Ain't that considerable OF
blowout, Fanny? We haven't settled
Spagnette's bill for that last tea-hght
you must remember"
''Tea-fghtl Blow-ontl' Mrs. Jones
repeated, in infinite disgust. "Peter
1 haven't any patience to hear you use
those odious, vulgar expressions no"
are Ethel and Constantia to get mar
riad I;d lilo IN Lnovv if the dear girls