The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-07-11
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


Things worth noing-Invitations to
drink.
Many patients at our best hospitals
receive cruel treatment.-Ltfe.
Why are bores like trees? Because
we love them best when they Leave
Derrick.
Breaches of promise-Those your
tailor didn't bring home.-ChScGgo
Herald.
A bee often meets with reverses.
but as a rule he is successful In the
end.-Ro chester ETpTeSS.
"I spread my waves from poll to
poll" remarked the wig-maker as he
rented another capillary a1ornment.
DR.. Potter, of New York. laments
"the decay of enthusiasm" He should
watch the small boy on the morning
of the circus.
Rev. DR.. Pusey left a personal estate
of more than $4,000. All his property
goes to his daughter, Miss Mary Ame-
liza Brine. That is to say it is all salted
down.
A genius advertised" A sewing
machine for twenty-five cents in
stamps" and his dupes did not see the
point until they received cambria
needle.-BoOkkeeper.
Brigham Young's grave is utterly
neglected, and his widows never visit
it. They went there once to cry over
his remains, but it made the ground so
sloppy that they all caught cold.
Joseph Cook has written an article
on tobacco, but fails to teach the
secret of the art of carrying cigars in
his vestEpocket in such manner that
ones friends cannot detect them
Puck.
A Western paper announces the fact
that an acrobat turned a somersault
on locomotive smokestack- That is
nothing. We know Of an engineer
who turned on the steam.-Phttddet-
phid NelCS.
The New York Sun comes out with
the usual announcement that every
woman in the land ought to learn how
to swim. No woman knows how SOON
she may get tumbled off a street car.
Detroit Free Press.
A Troy girl was made stark, staring
mad by the excitement of the prepa-
rations for her own wedding. She
ought to have waited till she had been
married little while, when she could
have found real provoeatlon for get
ting mad.
1t is said that a young lady can
never whistle in the presence OF her
lover. The reason is obvious. He
doesn't give her chance. When she
gets her lips in a proper position fol
whistling something else always occurs.
Rochester Post.
A San Antonio lawyer does an inn
mense business, according to his card
in a local paper. The card reads " l
attend to all the business in the State
and Federal courts" This must make
it hard for the other lawyers to make
a living.-SVtingS.
A Missouri maiden's mistake; One
of the sweetest-loOking girls in the
State of Missouri dlslocated hel
shoulder the other day by kicking ;
cat. Handsome is as handsome does
but she should not kick with her right
arm.-AtchiSon Globe.
A girl shouldn't wear black belt
about her waist when she's got a
white dress on and is walking with a
young man in the night time. II
makes it appear from a rear window
AZ if her fellow had his arm around
her waist. -Bqfalo Nelos.
Boston girls never sacrifice tho cause
of culture tothat Of philanthropy, A
tramp recently accosted one OF then
and asked her if she would be goOC
enough to give him the price of al
humble meal. II ha,en't any none,
with me, she said. but it you'll com
around TO the house after pa ret
home III get him - read 20 --