davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1883-09-19
A FOrgiving Wife.

MT. Goldsworthy of Boulder, Col, having been sent to jail for stealing cat tie, his neighbors proposed to hang him, but were pursuaded to consult his wife's wishes as to the manner of his taking off. She had applied for divorce on charges of desertion and cruelty, and of embezzling her private property; but, to the lynchers' astonishment, she not only would not assent to the hanging, but threatened to prosecute every man who might take part in it, MT. Colds worthy still lives.
Connecticut western news., 1883-09-19

struck on her and she is struck on you I'll run the old man six miles through the brush after a preacher to do the splicing!'
 The lawyer had to decline on the grounds of having q wife in Detroit, and the old woman felt so bad that the husband had to rise at midnight and make mustard plaster. .-DetroI Free pyesS
Connecticut western news., 1883-09-19

THE FLAG AaAN.-Sergeant Bates is about to take the war-path once more. On October 1 he will leave, St. Paul on foot, carrying the American flag, with Galveston, Texas, as his objective point. He will then proceed to Portland, Maine, and will go thence to San Francisco
 He figures that the little jaunt will take him over seven thousand miles of terri tory, that he will be able to deliver one thousand eight hundred lectures on the way, and that not less than eight hun dred thousand people will come to hear
Connecticut western news., 1883-09-19

THE Two FLAas.-At reunion Eof Confederate veterans ill Richmond the Stars and Stripes and an old battle flag of the Confectionery were carried at the head of the procession. The Confeder- ate flag had been used as sign in a store, and bore the legend, "Con- federate bonds, money, and postage stamps for sale here"
Connecticut western news., 1883-09-19
Connecticut Western News.
 PUBLIsHED AT CANAAN, uTCAFlElD c0unTy, CT. EVERY WEDNESDAY, MORNING..
Local News a Speciality.

TERMS
 S200 per year, if paid strictly in advance. If not paid at the expiration of three months $2. 25 will be charged.
 Suuscrib, IFS desiring tleir papers continued must give notIce at tue EXPIRATION of their suhsciriptions any previous n'tice not being sufficent and unless all arrearagcs are paid, papers will not then be discontinued save at the option of the publisher.
Connecticut western news., 1883-09-19
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS.
WHAT WE FIND IN THEM TO SNTII.E
 OVER THIS WEEK.

He Could Have SaIly-She Saw it in Church A Western TripThcy were Empty A Rara AVis-Etc., Etc.
Connecticut western news., 1883-09-19
ADVERTISING RATES !:
A GAMBLERS TALISMAN.

THE LOSS OF WHICH DEGRADES
 HIM.
Connecticut western news., 1883-09-19

A country editor undertook to ride on a pass belonging to one 9f his subscrib- CTS who had an advertisement in his paper. After examining it the conductor looked at it ahd the editor, and said:
 "This pass is> s>crooked."
 "Guess not, aid the editor, blandly.
 ''But I sayit is.S'
 'That's just who're you are fooling yourself; it's me that's crooked. The pass is all right enough. "-1ecds Sgtt- SSlOS
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16

IT Is rather a matter Of congratula-
tlon that the very rich senator's are Ie-
ported to be extremely disguised with
the positions assigned them on the
committees of the senate. They had
no sort of pretense in experience, pub-
lie service, or special knowledge to
more important positions. But they
seem to have imagined that their riches
entitled them to some special consider
ztion, and 1t is well that this imagina-
tion should be dispelled. In the far
west 1t has become 80 much a matter
of course that the senatorships should
go to the richest men In the state who
car about 1t that an election to the
senate has several times had very
much the appearance Of an auction.
The senate has It In Its own power to
mitigate this ambition by showing that
1t is not a plutocracy, and that It ap.
plies other standards than that Of a
bank account In assigning special dut.
iesto Its members. The senate show
ed when it passed the Thurman Ed :
munds railroad bill that money could
not influence its legislation when the
question was fairly presented. II has
now made another and equally needful
showing that money cannot influence
the relative standing OF its mem
bers.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16


There is a fruit and poultry dealer in
town who owns a talking parrot and
the quaint, philosophic u%tterances of
the wise looking creature furnish much
amusement to psssers-by. The parrot
talks necessarily and the owner some
months ago refused a large price offsr-
ed for the bird by a married man who
said he wanted 1t as a sort of stand.off
for his wife. The poultry dealer posi-
lively refused to sell, however, but con-
Gdentially remarked to the other,
Fact Is, that's what | keep the parrot
for myself. When anybody starts in
scolding, you observe, that bird always
gets furious and takes the first hand in
the jswing match. Nobody else can
get in a word edgeways and II you
swear at her, why you'd think you'd
woke up half a dozen bull whackers.
No. SIR he added, looking sympathet-
lcally at the other married msn, II
won't part with that bird for any price,
but III set up the beer for you"
An oyiparous story is told concerning
tie parrot, the burden of which falls,
as a matter of course, upon an Irish
man. He had never seen a bird OF the
Kind before, and had been listening for
half an hour TO its wise sayings, With
the keenest interest, not unmixed with
awe.
ats quare, wonderful burd, entire
ly. Do she lay amy eggs2' he asked
OF the marketsman.
"oh, yes, once in a while" replied
the owner, who saw q chance to amuse
himself.
.sCould you sell me an egg from that
bufd7v
"Yes, II you come here In a day or
two I'll have nj for you," said the
poultry dealer, and the enquirer went
away highly pleased. BE was back
again on the second day and asked for
the promised egg. The dealer had for
gotten the circumstance till now, but
to carry out his joke walked to the
back part Of his store, and picking up
an egg out Of one of the nearest boxes.
wrapped 1t up in paper and handed it
to Paddy, who ~cheerfully paid the ten
cents demanded and departed with a
smile of satisfaction.
Two or three weeks passed before the
poultry dealer saw his egg customer
again, and then he noticed him one
morning standing on the sidewalk and
gazing at the parrot with a half sor-
rowful, half reproachful air. Presently
he stepped up to the dealer and whis-
pered:
"Luk here, misther. does that buId
o. yours run around much o. nightsf'
well, l don't know exactly" re-
piled the dealer REFRESHING a grin as a
suspicion of what was coming Hoated
across his mind; perhaps she may hop
out Into the back yard sometimes"
"Lemme give yez a pinter on that
burd." said the Irishman In a sepul-
chral whisper, there's a duck been
leading her asthray. Cork Examiner.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16

III a recent letter Senator Vest ex-
presses the opinion that prohibition by
the state, as advocated In Missouri, is
ondemocratic. wrong In principal, i'm
practicable, and. II adopted, the pro-
life source OF perjury, disregard of law
and social meanenss. At the same time
he says that every member Of the legis-
lature should represent the will of hrs
constituents a. 10 the question of sub
mission, or any other public question
and that every law enacted by the leg.
islature, and adjudged constitutional
by the court, should be respected and
obeyed until repealed.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16

TnE Madison county wyoming ter
ritory) treasurer heads his notice with
3 skull and cross bones, signifying that
death and taxes are equally certain.
8 The above note has been going the
rounds of the press for some weeks and
It seems about time they were informed
that there is no Madison county in
Wyoming. The county of that name
in Nebraska is probably the one refer
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16
PnrslprsT AnTuun,s recommen.

dalton for a civil government for Alas
ka has already brought forth a crop of
bills on that subject. Doubtless there
are plenty OF patriots who are willing
to sacrifice themselves on the altar Of
duty, since 1t has been settled that the
climate Of that remote region is by no
means IS trigid as was once supposed.
The cry still goes forth, Office, more
ofdce
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16

THE election of Senator Sabin as
chairman of the national committee is
3 recognition not only of Minnesota.
but of the whole northwest. While
bis duties pertain merely to the pre-
liminary arrangements for the conven
ton, they are important, add require
the head of a business man. None
could perform them better than lie.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16
SUNDAY, DECEMBER l6, 1898.

A VERMONT editor in Publishing n
of Byron's poems changed the words
.'Oh godsp, to .sOh gosh" as q con-
cession TO the prevailing sentiment Of
his village.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16

The New York Sun does not seem
to have an exalted idea of the prospec-
tive purpose of the present democratic
congress. 1t dissents from Harper's
Weekly opinion that ''this will be a
president making congress- with the
lsconic remark: 1--WE rather think
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16

SENATOR CAMERON. OF Pennsyl.
vania, who is now on the continent,
writes that he will be home in all
probability before the present con-
gress adiourns.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16

Mr.. BEEcHER advises bis hearers not
to set themselves up as judges of men.
Whether he is willing that others shall
assume an equal privilege with himself
as judges Of women has not yet bern
reDOrted.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16
DON'T GIyE up THE Ship

80
When these words were spoken by
our lamented Lawrence, 1t must have
been a solemn time for those on board,
and probably not a dry eye among
them, seeing their commander mortal
ly wounded, and still giving orders like
the above; but not more solemn than
when the family physician informs you
that some one OF your family has an
affection of the lungs, which If
neglected, will eventually terminate In
consumption But, reader, don't be
frightened or give up the Ship" for
DR.. Hale, a physician Of Europe, dis
covered a remedy for all coughs, colds,
hoarseness, difficult breathing, and ali
affections of the throat, bronchial
tubes and lungs leading to consump-
ton, and @. N. Crittenton, one OF our
leading medicine dealers, Of New York,
believing the market required an ar
ticle that was certain, safe and sure to
do the work, and yet within the reach
Of all as regards price, etc., has pur.
chased the original receipt from DR..
Hale, and we understand Is selling very
large quantities OF the same, and, as
far as we can hear, it gives entire salts
faction. 1t Is now sold by druggists In
New York, Brooklyn, Jersey City,
Newark, n, j., Hoboken, and. In fact,
all through the country at 90 cents and
81. Great saving by purchasing large
size.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16

Carroll now has two a~rst-class
cooks, also a first-class walter, and for
the accommodation of those who
are. out late, keeps open until Q
o'clock.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16

Hills hair and whisker dye, black or
brown, soc.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16

Those nuisances, rheumatism and the
govt are relieved by Glenn's sulphur
sOap.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16

The United States Mall carried daily. ~
ave nrss clsss ealing stations. and toe disi
ZION rEeno .aEs Al pA.as o secure the com.
if- OF pesssn Esrs Tho route IL well pre-
Heted. brvins thres military posts on 10
road. leaving only forty i've miles betwesa
81 uary camps thus insuring safety we
1s entire -ospa
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16

Pixies Tootbache Drops cure in one
minute.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1883-12-16

Courtesy of Nyo. Archives & His
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1883-03-30
SleepIessness.

Druggists tell us that there IS grow
ing demand for various medicines and
preparations containing opiates in one
shape or another. People wreck their
nervous system by injudicious habits of
life, and the result is unsound sleep,
dyspepsia and countless other evils. A
little advice TO such persons may not be
out of place. They should, of course, be
careful to abandon that method of life
which brings them into physical disor-
der. Their complaint may be fed by
tobacco; narcotics should be avoided.
One cause of their trouble may be that
they take insufficient outdoor exercise.
Perhaps they drink too much tea or
coffee or eat too much flesh meat. There
are thousand practices allowed by con-
vention which are in themselves harmful
and prejudicial to the health.
The quality of sleep may be improved
by diminishing the length of time spent
in bed. A hot shower bath at bedtime
cleanses the skin and pre-disposes to
sleep. Many q toiling business or liter
ary man goes to bed tired and worn
out, only to toss from one side to au-
other. His brainis hot tand full of blood,
while his feet are cold. He thinks over
sHuiu tIt bnOuSntS lndb ndN0 DGcu tu-
gaging his attention during the day, or
does over again the business that has
called forth his energies for twelve or
sixteen hours past. His night is a round
of tossing to and fro. Is there any Won
der that, failing to find out what is the
true and natural remedy for his pains,
he resorts to opiates, which he knows
will give him temporary reliefp
There is one sure and safe way to rem
edy his pains. If, after leaving work, he
would take brisk walk of mile or two,
before going to bed, and then after the
walk would hold his head under stream
of cold water, he would find relef-that
is, supposing he does this when he is
first troubled with sleepless nights. But,
no; if he lives half mile or more from
his work he takes car home, and,
throwing off his clothes, goes to bed as
quickly as possible.
Tie want of balance between mental
and physical labor is fruitful cause of
sleeplessness. Many a business man,
whose duties keep him in an office all
day, would improve his health great
deal if he were to fit up his attic as car
penter's shop and spend an hour therein
after supper. This, of course, would be
beneficial only if he happened to have o
liking for mechanics; then he would find
his occupation afforded him amusement,
mental occupation and muscular effort
in just the proper proportions. Herald
of Health.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1883-03-30

lopcd into my courtyard, where / was
standing on the doorstops putting on
my gloves and ready TO get into my
carriage. My grooms, seeing horseI
saddled and bridled with hat in his
mouth and W thout rider, tried to-
catch him, but he escaped their pursuit
goes straight up the steps and kneels
before me. The men again try to capt
ure him, but he gallops of, stops at the
gate, turns round and looks Mt me; so |
Jumped into my carriage and set or
Tho horse darts through roads not al
ways adapted for carriage, but follow
him and arrive where l find you"
At the moment Nine. de Noriolis had
finished these words the carriage re-
ceived fearful Jolt and we saw in tho
air the head of Erstls. who W s stand
ing ect on his hind legs behind us.
Seeing the little back scat of the car
riage ntcnant d, he had taken the OPP
portunity of giving Is ano her speci-
me of his talents. by executing the most
brilliant of all his circus perfor an ees.
He had placed his fore feet upon the
| ack seat of the little carriage, and was
TRANQUILITY continuing his route, trot-
ting Upon his hind legs alone, Fob
striving in vain to replace him upon four.
Nine. de Noriolis was so frightened
that she let the reins escape fro n her
hands and sank fainting in my ..arns.
With my left hand recovered thereins.
with my right arm supported Nine. d.
Nor oils, my leg all the time causing the
most frightful torture.
In this manner Mme. de Noriols ade
her frs entry into La Roche Targe
When she return d six weeks later she
had become my wife.
"Such, indeed is life," she OK
claimed. This wo Id rever have come
to pass if you had not bought the trump
ct RS hors y"
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1883-03-30
The Foreign Element.

The composite nature of the Ameri.
can population is shown in various
ways by the tables of the census of 1880,
which in this department, may be re-
garded as reasonably correct, however
many faults there may be nj other de-
partments The figures concerning the
great cities are of especial significance,
because each of them is q center OF po'
lit;cal power, and their population is
continually growing by the influx oil
foreigners seeking political advance
ment, and of natives from the rural
districts who seek more active spheres
for their ventures in legitimate bust
ness, in speculation. and also in politics.
Looking through the census tables, we
find that Philadelphia has larger pro-
portion of native inhabitants than any
of the la ge cities, except some of those
in the Southern States like Baltimore,
Now Orleans and Louisville.
In New Yo the foreign inhabitants
are about forty per cent, in Brooklyn
about thirty, in Boston about thirty-one,
in Chicago about forty (or the same as
New York;, in Buffalo and Jersey City
about fifty, in Cleveland and Newark
nearly forty, in Cincinnati about thirty;
while in Philadelphia they are only
about twenty-three per cent. OF the
whole population. IN the basis OF
these facts it may rightly be claimed
that Philadelphia is more distinctly
Anne lean than any of the cities named.
Comparison with New York exhibits
the composition of the two cities in
more detail, and we give this condensed
table showing the countries OF which
the respective inhabitants of the two
cities were natives AT the time the cen
sus of 1890 was taken:
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1883-03-30
Scottish Trails.

Rev. Robert Mackenzie, of the How
ard Presbyterian Church. deli, cred an
entertaining lecture at Grand Western
Hall, on Bush street, Friday night, on
"The Good and the Bad About the
Scotch" ~ ought to know what is
good about the Scotch" said the speak
er, 'for my father was Scot ehman;
and ought to know what is bad about
them, for l am n Scotchman myself"
Then by an ingenious course of reason
ing, VIII ch the reverend gentleman pur-
sued to the verge OF improbability, he
almost demonstrated the fact that Adam
was n Scotchman, because '.if Adam
wore anything it was the kilt he wore"
That some of the Campbelrs came
over in the ark with Noah was a matter
of history, but there's been n change in
the spelling of the name since then.
1.-The Scott sh character" continued
the speaker, sis made up of contra is
and apparent contradictions. 1t is fru-
gal to stinginess and free to poverty;
clannish and yet of aroving nature; sem
sible, vet superstitious. The wonder
fully rough climate OF the Highlands is
calculated to produce rugged character;
l.the barrenness of the soil promotes in
d stry and frugality.
Promptness was declared to be an
other National virtue. Chalmers was
one of the pr mptestof men. One morn
ing he came down to breakfast at the
usual minute and found the meal un-
prepared. The COOK, his niece, expect
ed a sound scolding, but possessing
some OF her uncle wit, she met him with
| the exclamation: "Oh, sir, l dreamed
about ye last night" What did you
dream, Jenn e?' inquired the Dean,
taken Of his guard. II dreamed, sir"
said the girl, THAT ye had died, and
were to be burie at twelve o'cock
The pall-bearers were late, and at war
minut past twelve We rapit on the side
o. the coffin and said: "Tut! be spry
there; it's after tw elve an ye are nc
littin' yet '"
That the Scottish race is supersti
t.ous, the speaker said could not be de
MED. This was to be accounted fol
from the Ion eliness of the mountains il
which the Highlanders had alway!
lived and the long nights and weirt
storms that howl among his native
crags and wales. The Scotchman il
metaph, seal. "When Yankee baby
awakes to the fact that it has a grea
toe It's first impulse is to tug away a
its little foot until it has the swee
morsel in its mouth. When Scotcl
baby finally discovers that it has gre
toe, along with the natural instinct tt
swallow it comes an unquenchable de
sire to know why it should want t.
swallow, and this" said the sps aker
ais the difference between the two ma
; tions."
The habit of metaphysical though
makes the Scotchman critical. A Ger
tain Scot wanted to be made deacon
81 don't think you are itted for {
deacon, Sandy. Can you speak il
meeting" inquired the pastor. mo
sir" said Sandy. "Can you lead il
prayerp' "No, SIR y" could yol
act as moderator at meeting of th,
Presbytery" "No, sir" "Well, then
what could you doP" "Well," an
swered Sandy, thoughtfully, II nigh
raise a few Elections. "--San Francisc
ChrO nicle.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1883-03-30
TIE PROPHET WTGGTNs.
Attributed TO HIMSELF.

I'll takc up the biz of the weather to scan,
Aud turn out a deeply prophetic young man,
Says I to myself, says |;
I'll study the meteorological charts,
1hen bid all the ships in the harbors and
Tic up, for the fun there will be in these
Says to myself, says /.
II.
I'll find me n storm in tho lands of the East,
Says | t. myself, says l,
Thatll level tho trcos, lash the waves into
says ! to myself, SAYS I;
III get up n regular bowling cyclone,
Not vcnnor's, nor Hazon's, but my bloody
I'll make tho whole universe tremblc and
Says to myself, sOysL
kfuus
For am the Virgins. prophet forlorn, q
Says to myself, says i;
Ine'er have known fame since the day I was
says to myself. says I;
but now t. my zenith Tli rise with swoop,
And great T. tho honor I'll got Tor my
When the fifth comes in with rush and .
Says to myself, says ].
The tlmid will ilce into holes in the ground,
Says to myself, says ], =,
sound
says to myself, says I.
Whom lightning shall piorco the dread sui
phurous gloom.
And old Mother Shipton sits up in her tomb,
Why, then is the time that the Virgins will
boom
Says 1 TO myself, says L
I've fixed for tide in the Bay of Bengal,
says to myself. says |.
So Gloucester sailors will look for squall,
Says to myself, says1;
VIII le every poor mortal Tint daily doth dwell
Reneath the great forty parallel,
Will find some storm-ccnter to raise quito
Says to myself, saysI
So, now we shall see If those Washington
Siys to myself. saysI,
Who issue the r bulletins, gucsses and maps
Saws l to myself, says ],
Can size up a storm such as have forecast
That won't leave II sal, or n spar or Il mast,
That bend to the breeze before it is passed
Says to myself, says j.
VII.
You ask how 1t is that get on its track,
Says to myself, snys l. o.
by the twingo of my corn and the crick in my
back,
Says to myself, says I;
These are the signs. and figure them out,
It's lucid as mud, and no room for doubt,
Excuse me, y! Vennor, excuse III shout,
Says to myself, saysI.
by ANOTHER.
There was q vain prophet named Virgins,
Who posed as the seer of the "diggins;'
Said he to himself:
~ will rest on the shelf,
1t seems cold day for poor wiggins."
-ChicdUO NetCs.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1883-03-30

DR.. NJ. II. Hinsdale, Kcnawee, H., advises
us Of a remarkable cure Of consumption. He
says: "a neighbours wife was attacked with
violent lung disease, and pronounced beyond
help from Quick Consumption. AS q last re-
sort the family was persuaded to try Dr. WIN.
HALL's BILsAM FOR THE LUNGS. To the as
tonishmont OF all, by the time she had used
one half dozen bottles she was about the house
doing her own work. saw her at hsr worst
and had no idea she could recover"