Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-10-04

''CAN you give me bite or two:" asked
the tramp. Certainly" replied the far
mer. "Here, TOwser, Towserr' ''Never
mind,' said the tramp, as he cleared the
wall. Don't go to any trouble about it.
/ thought you had it handy. I'm not very
hungry now, anyhow"
SECRETARY LINCOLN: BY the way.
| Chandler, do you know anything about
Arctic navigation? Secretary Chandler:
No; do your Secretary Lincoln: Not the
first thing. Secretary Chandler: Then
let's send off another expedition and give
them more detailed directions.
II is stated that a Texas hen sat for
three days on a nest full of hailstOnes be-
! fore she discovered that they were not
/ eggs. The funniest part Of the story is
/ that she didn't hatch out an ice house or
/ two. But perhaps the Texas liar was not
/ enjoying good health.-NOrriStOlr Her
/ dld.
MIR. JAMES," said the managing edi-
| tor, Il see no notice of last nights play"
! Mr.. James-''You remember that you
/ told me not to be guided by prejudice. but
/ to criticise the piece upon its merits? p VI.
/ Eyes, sir" Mr.. James-''Wen, sir,
! it didn't have any merits; therefore had
nothing to write about. Boston Trans
| cript.
NO" said Mr.. Littleman, Il didn't get
L
/ wasn't named for any office; but l had the
/ satisfaction of hearing the President cry
! out amid the assembled thousands: i
| have a telegram for Mr.. Small Littleman,
! of Squashville.' 1t cost me . cents, but,
by gosh it was worth it, Boston Trans
/ cript.
WHATS that bell ringing for p asked a
man who had just arrived II a Southern
/ town. "PrOminent citizen dead, sir"
D IL 7
| he'll stay dead. PYe been travelling over
/ this country all summer and haven't met
| anybody but prominent citizens, and the
4 fact that one Of them is actually dead
| gives me great encouragement ArkdR-
Sdag Trdeeler.
A STORY Of a characteristic American
/ traveller is told in the Scotch Highlands.
| Tired and thirsty, he had come suddenly
! upon a little shooting box on the hills.
| The proprietor, an intensely proud High
/ lander, stood at the gate and regarded the
| intruding foreigner without sign of h0spi-
! tally. The American, taking a lesurely
| look at the ground, said 'DO you belong
! to the placeT' NO, SIR" in a dignified
manner, ''the place belongs to me-"
"NelI, you are poorer cuSS than /
| thought, if you own this locatiOn," was
/ the answer.
/ The SAGE AND THE MOURNERS.-A
/ Sage, who was on his weary journey to
! Wisconsin, came upon a crowd one day
and observed a general sadness in all
/ faces: "Why this gloom?" queried the
4 old man, as he laid down his bundle and
| felt for the front end of his plug Of tobac
! co. "Oh, Sage, we mourn the death of a
/ good man." was the reply. "Was he
/ honored:" ''He was" s'Sober. upright.
charitable, and given to peace?' He
was" 'WhO of you praised and encOur-
| aged him in his life ?" asked the old man,
as he looked around him. \ hush fell
/ upon the crowd, and no one replied.
praise that comes after DEATH" whisper
! ed the Sage, ''dOes not. even cut down the
/ undertaker's bills. Better squander
/ your time saving wood for the widow
! Moral: The widow will be expected to
take in sewing to support herself-Detr0u
! Free Press.