Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-07-02
SLOCUM And SAMSON.
Jackson Interviews the Big Elephant

Jackson Slocum having been detailed to
interview the most notable visitors to Min
nesota this summer for the GLOBE, tackles
Coles elephant, Samson, for his first vic
tim, with the following astonishing result:
Slocum-Why did your mother name
you SO near after the fox-tail firer and gate
hooker who out-jawed the Philistines?
Samson-The thought struck her when
she was peeling onions for supper by some
body's yelling to father in the jungle, say
ing: "Have you seen Sam?'
Slocum-What is your opinion of the
people of the United States as far as you
have moved your trunk around in the
Republic?
Samson-Like elephants. they resemble
each other very much especially about the
ears. In the matter of chewing tobacco,
smoking five cent cigars and coming 10
our circus just to accommodate the Gu
riosit} Of their children" they are very
niue: -1uchly.
SlccL-n-From your many experiences
in all the states Or the Union in securing
drinks, what is !.'ur opinion of prohibi-
ton and high li,e"so?
Samson-The latter can never be &C
compiiehed as long as there are back and
side doors on buildings, the people attend
political conventions, and go out between
theatre acts to put up hot corners in the
| Glove and coffee bean trade.
Slocnm-What theory has struck your
great breadth of sole to be the best paving
material for the thoroug hfares of cities
cobbIe stones. granite. asphalt or cedar
| blocks?
Samson-They all raise corns in every
State of the Union, but as far as my ex-
perience goes, a Kentucky corn is the
| worst, as it flies to the head.
Slocum-They say a man can feel a
| cockroach crawl across his toes after his
| foot has been amputated for twenty years.
Since you had your hat racks taken in, so
that you could lap up soup without burn
ing your thorax, do you ever imagine that
you are in the bone business to the extent
of your former capital invested therein?
Samson-Yes, the same sensations exact
ly, but of late it has given me immense
satisfaction that Minnesota gamblers can
| no longer ante-up that portion of my
frame for chips, and rake in my bones on a
flush hand or three aces.
Slocum-From your high standpoint
| this season permit me to ask whether you
think Sam Tilden will come out and wal
lop the party who poured deadly henbane
in his ear in 1876, and whether you think
John Sherman has any idea that he can
order Chester Arthur's head cook what to
garnish lobster salad with after 1884?
Samson-That conundrum is harder
than one of Berrisford's crackers I Just
took from your watch pocket. l would
refer you therefore to the Borneo ape, who
L.. = l. IL
or to our Pillsbury giraffe, who can see
ahead of state central committee.
Slocum-It is noted, think, in Web
ster's unabridged or in some of our ele-
mentary reading books, that you elephants
in your back yards and when a wood tick
or dragon fly seeks to pre-empt aquarter
section it has the power of attorney and
hoists the emigrant?
Samson-The idea is not altogether err
roreous, as l left little bird behind me
in the kingdom Sigham, but it is my arts
tocratic cousin, the rhinosceros who runs
family carriage and INDUCES in picked
company.
Sloucm-Before you left sweet HON e
and sailed to foreign parts you must have
been out late nights without any latch-key
in your pants pocket. If any, what were
your Hill Investigations and star route ex-
periences?
Samson-The everglades of my nativity
are 6Iissfully level, and all the males are
transp orted by elephants.
Slocum-Have you detected any foreign
taste in our Minnetonka water since your
arrival, or any substance therein that
would lead you to infer that animalcule
10 lnaT lad
Yention therein?
Samson--Nothing yet of any account
except a slight bass ale tinge, which is said
to be good for the brain, and which IS only
| to be found near the shore.
| SIocum-Had you any fears of trusting
yourself so far out in our rose-laden eli
mate and upon our prairie-belted plains,
with a lake stuck in here and there like
raisins in Jack Horner's corner?
| Samson None whatever, excepting a
slight nervousness at starting, on account
of the deeds of lawiessness of the Peepee
Indians.
Slocum-Which side OF the assisted emf
grafton question should you take in the
possible event of an outbreak on that sub
| iect between the lion and the unicorn of
| your troupe?
Samson-Owing to my personal obliga-
lions to the railway trunk lines for sundry
lifts now and then, and out of respect to
my manager when he gets mad, yc' viii
permit me to flop my ears and tai O that
interrogatory and prod your own sagacity
for differences.
Slocum-Have you met "Old Tecumseh"
since his arriAal at Fort Smelling?
Samson-Gen. Sherman is an especial
friend of mine, and 1 sent him Dispatch
the day after his arrival, and wonder that
heI'hasn said anything"
Slocum-Do you think that Jumbo can
sink the hay-scales at any lower depth of
avoirdupois than yourself?
Samson-You can satisfy yourself by
lifting me now, and Jumbo in October, and
can write me in care of Old King Cole.
Slocum-There are several things fur
Their in which I would like your opinion,
for instance the crops, Buffers Dutch
canal at Tewksbury, the raising of the old
Scott in Ohio, the health of the Bridge
port baby elephant, the number of votes
Billy Window will get for president in the
next Republican convention, what you
think of Bufington's turban on our new
state capitol, but as it is about time for
you to dress for the afternoon reception I
will desist. Many thanks my dear Sam
son for vour cOurtaous HEARING No wiua