Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-16

1T don't object to Goldfish rs an oc-
casional luxury, remarked Mr. Old
boarder at breakfast, but for steady
feed its altogether too brainy for my
blood Rnt the landlady told him
he was too fresh
Because ST. Louis is complaining of
water famine a mean Eastern editor
wants to know what she did with that
inundation.
Charles, dear she murmered, as
she strolled along the avenue last
evening, and gazed at the bejeweled
armament, which is Venus and
which is Adonis,
Standing up for ones own bailiwicl
is all right, but the Chicago papers
rather overdo the thing when they
BLACKBOARD the Mississippi River sim
ply because it runs past st. Louis.
There is now no living member of
the group pictured by Carpenters
celebrated painting of signing the
Proclamation Montgomery Blair
was the eighth and last.
Mr.. Wyckoff, a wealthy farmer, of
Grayesend, l.. L., hung himself ON
Sunday because the price of potGtoes
was very low He had large crop, and
has met with several financial losses.
The Parnell tribute has reached
Sl00,0 600. If the pope would only
issue another circular it is believed
that the sum could be easily doubled.
The Long Branch gambling-houses
are making more money this year
than ever before. Recently the banks
at two houses made $40, 600 in one
evening
Woman who was looking over blan,
kets in a store. Well, ! didn't mean
to buy. Am just looking for a friend y
Clerk, politely Don't think you'll
find your friend among the blankets.
We've looked 'em all through"
Foreman Here the proofs of the
London, Paris, Constantinople, and
Dublin letters. Editor well ,eave
them here. Our London. Paris, Con
stantinople, and Dublin correspondent
has gone out to lunch.
When lady living in Chelsea sent
4 to London for doctor she apologized
for asking him TO come such "A dis
lance Don't speak of it, - answered
the NJ ID. II happen to have another
patient in the neighborhood, and can
thus kill two birds with one stone.
Please 10 give me something. sirg
says an old women. II had a blind
child he was my only means of sub
sistence, and the poor boy has recover
ed his sight
Senator Crane, of Marion. Kan.
offered the Ladies' Ala Society s. il
they would make quilt without
speaking word. Twenty-three lad
les met at the parsonage, made the
quilt, and earned the money in two
hours
In Rome a Dukes daughter elope d
with a poet, She will doubtless find,
in the course Of time, that if she had
taken 80 cents and bought cheap
book of rhymes, she would have made
a mnch more profitable venture
A Connecticut railroad has an order
that dogs shall be carried only in the
baggage cars; beautiful young lady
the other day, refusing TO be separated
from her pet, rode in broken down
chair among the trunks. The dog
was satisfied and so was the baggage
man, but the woman was mad
What a peculiar shade is that
What could you call itl" broke in the
young lady, OPPORTUNITY turning TO a
passing costume Of dark red which
emitted spasmodic CLEANS of indefinite
white as its wearer moved ON. That, y
replied the elder lady, critically, was
meant, / should say, to represent
crushed raspberry upon which the
cream had soured.
II do wish these operators wouldn't
strike and kick up such a muss, said
Mr.. Smiley, as he threw aside his pa
per; I'm tired of it, " Why, it don't
concern you in the least, said Han
nah: you never had butone telegram
in your life, and that scared you most
to death before you opened IT, Il
know it, but some Of my friends
might die, and | wouldn't have the
pleasure Of hearing Of it. I
Two novel strikes are reported
from Cape Town, South Africa. One
is of the lawyers, who refuse 10 do
business in court any longer under an
order of the taxing master, an Of
fetal who determines the rate at
which they can tax costs. The strike
had not been adjusted at last accounts.
The other was a strike of 900 conyicts
for an improved, diet, which, strangely
enough, was conceded, and they
promised then to 90 to work the
next day.
1t sometimes happens at social par
ties that a young lady, known or sup
posed to be somewhat proficient in
music, is requested to entertain the
company at the piano in a song, and
her reply is Really you must excuse
me l cant play" or j can't sing
as the case may be, but she is all the
time edging toward the piano and
finally lands at thelnstrument