Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-12-19
FEMININE FANCIES.

IMPORTANT consideration for young
men about to marry: Hundreds of
women have ten children.
Miss MARY BLAKE hes published a
little volume entitled " Twenty. six
Hours Day." Mary must have got
up about two hours before she goes to
bed.
$50 you prefer my medicines to those
of DR.. Pilsbury ?" Mrs. Mulligan:
Och, indade, docthor dear, we're a
dale better than tn other ould hum
bug F"
A SCIENTIST says the reason kissing is
go pleasant is because the teeth, Jaw
bones and lips are full of nerves. and
when the lips meet an electric current
is generated.
ALITERABY lady of 81 writes to one of
the papers that she has just arrived at
delightful age to marry; but she don't
say whether she will take man with al
ready one or more wives or no.
DAUGHTER all men brutes,
mammal" Mamma" No, my dear;
but some are. Daughter" Which
ones are the brutes, mammal" Mamma
Sc The married ones, my dear"
A BISMARCK young man who left his
charmer's front gate in a hurried man
ner and lit away out in the street, as
serts that her father was afflicted with
palpitation of thessfeet. Bismarck T5ci-
blE1le.
AN ingenious young lady wants to
know if Tennyson's Galahad is not I" the
girl he left behind him." Not neces-
sarily. Though she was the gal he had,
it does not follow she was the one he
left behind him. He might have been
the one that was left"
Z" MAMMA, what is cipher?" sWhY,
my child, cipher is naught, that is,
it is nothing" Well, then. papa
must be naughty nothing" "What
caught hold of the nurse this morning
and said: L cipher taste of your lips,
and she smacked him." odd she slap
him with her hand ?" emo, ma'am; but
she bit him right in the mouth"
Two young married French ladies
we're talking about their husbands. Said
one of them: EDO you really think
your Jules went shooting yesterday ?"
wen, don't think he tried to deceive
me yesterday; but l am inclined to think
he went" ''But he didn't bring back
any game ?" ''That's what makes me
feel sure he did go!' was the wife's re-
ply.
The wife of Mr.. August Egg entered
a complaint at the police court to have
him arrested for ill-treatment. When
the officers went for Egg he had left the
nest and wandered off. His wife, how
ever, found him in Mulberry Street in
half-drunken condition and dragged him
to the police headquarters, where he was
locked up. When asked why she mar
ried bad Egg" she replied, show are
you to know an Egg is bad until you try
it ?"-ETcbGege.
ANSWER to Inquirer" " No; young
ladies should never NEEDLE with Greek.
It's useless waste of time. When q
girl is thrown out upon the world to
wrestIe with a sewing machine or to en-
counter the cold charity of corset man
ufacturer, she cannot move the stony
| hearts of her employers by chanting
passages from Hschylus or Euripides.
AS to the second branch of the question,
it is sufficient to say that the expression
Home Rule was not derived from
Homer"
Cob, dearl I do feel so mortified
"Why, what Is the matter, now?"
"You know Mrs. Dashaway, don't you?"
Sc Yes" "And always considered her
respectable, did you not ?" Certain
IT," Well, you may not believe it,
but she has written me letter which
went through the public mails, was
handed into my door by regular letter
carrier, who knows everybody In our
set, and on the envelope, right in plain
sight, was one of those horrid green
three cent stamps that were out of style
almost week ago"