The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1883-06-20
The Agricultural Editor.

Dyke Fortescue tumbled into the Office
of rural newspaper published in the in
terest of a small class of readers, and
named The Farmers Friend and Cultiua-
tors Champion. Dyke was fresh from Dem
yer, where he had been doing local work
on a daily. He wanted situation-he
wanted it badly, and he soon closed a
bargain with the proprietor of The Farm
ers Friend and CuitiUatorS' Champion.
The proprietor intended to be absent for
two weeks, and Dyke undertook to hold
the journals head steadily upstream I'M
til his return. "You will receive some
visitors, quite likely" said the proprietor.
Entertain 'em in manner which will
reflect credit on the paper. They will
want to talk stock, farming, horticulture,
ETC., you know. Give it to 'em strong"
Dyke bowed, borrowed half dollar, got
clean shave, a glass of beer, and soon re-
turned to face the music and edit the
first agricultural journal with which he
had ever been connected. I" can feel
that, with my journalistic experience, it
will be just fun to run an agricultural
paper" said Dyke to himself. AT two
o'clock p. NJ, the first visitor showed up
at the door of the Office, and Dyke cor
daily invited him inside. The farmer
entered hesitatingly, and remarked that
he had expected to meet the proprietor,
with whom he had an appointment to
discuss ensilage. al am in charge of the
Journal" said Dyke. go, you are. Well,
you seem to have a pretty clean Office
here" "Yes," replied Dyke. "But
about this ensilage. Ensilage is pretty
good breed isn't it 7" "Breed |" ex-
claimed the farmer, why" 81 mean
it's sure crop something that you can
rely" "Crop Why it isn't crop at
ALL" eyes, yes, | know, it isn't crop"
said Dyke perspiring until his collar be-
gan to melt away down the back of his
neck, " but you can do better and cleaner
work with good sharp ensilage on
study ground, than" "Take it for a
sulky plow, do you p Ono, no." said
Dyke. "You don't seem to understand
me. Now, if farmer builds an ensilage
on low ground" Guilds an ensilage
You seem to have got the thing mixed
up with some kind of a granary." Pshaw,
no." continued DYKE. 81 must make
myself palmer. You see this ensilage
properly mixed with one part guano, and
three parts hypophosphate of anthony,
with the addition of little bran and tan
bark, and the whole favored with chic
ride of lime, makes top dressing for
strawberry beds which" "Why, en-
silage isn't no manure" "No, certainly
not" said Dyke. 81 know it is not often
used in that way. You don't catch
my drift. When l said top dressing, |
meant turkey distinguishing, you
know--for Thanksgiving" Great heav-
ems, man Ensilage isn't human food p
"No, not human food exactly" said
poor Dyke, grinning like an almshouse
idiot, &C it isn't food at all, in the true
sense of the word. My plan has always
been to lasso the hog with trace chain
and after pinning his ears back with a
clothes pin, put the ensilage into his nose
with pair of tweezers." "My good
land You don't use ensilage to ring
hogs" 81 never believed myself that it
should be used for that purpose, but when
you want to ring hens, or young calves to
keep them from sucking" The farmer
gravely shook his head. "Did you ever
try ensilage on the hired girl" said Dyke,
desperately, and winking like bat at
| ll'cO a. NJ L uC ldi uuSi oiOoSt ohN
with some evidence of rheumatic twinges
in his legs. "Young man." he said
solemnly, "you are long ways from
home, amt you ?" "Yes," replied Dyke
dropping his eyes beneath the stern
chances of the farmer; ain my ancestral
halls in England, sad-eyed retainers wear
lily watch and wait for my return" "Gc
home, young man, go home to your feuda
castle, and while on your way across the
rolling deep, muse on the fact that ensil
age is simply canned food for live stock
put up expressly for family use in silo
which is nothing less than an alright pit
where corn stalks, grass, millet, clover
alfalfa, and other green truck is preserved
for winter use, as green and verdant a
the sub-editor of The Farmers Friend dnc
Culivators' Champion" And Dyke For
tescue sighed, as he remarked to himself
"There amt 80 blamed much fun in run
ming an agricultural paper, as l thought.
Selected.