Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-12-12
The Etiquette Of Balls.

invitation cards. She must say:
Mrs John Broocn requests the pleasure of the
company Of
Mr.. and Mrs. Amos Smith
on Thursday erentng, November t,centy-second
at nine O'Clock.
Dancing. RSYP.
Or she may say:
Mrs. John Bro,cn
At Home
Thursday ere,ling, Norember t,centy-second.
at nlne O'Clock.
Cotilion at ten R.SVP
her party. In New York. where young ladies
are brought out by means of a ball at Delmoni-
cos, the invitation is frequently wOrded:
DIR. and Mrs.. Amos Smith requests TIE pleasure
of your company
Thursday ereping, Noreo,ber t,oenty-Second,
at Htne 0 clock.
Del,aonicO's.
The card Of the young debutante is sometimes
(althOu@h not always) inclOsed.
If these invitations are sent to new acouaint-
anceS or to strangers in town. the card of the
gentleman is Enclosed to gentlemen; that of both
the gentleman and his wife to ladies and gentle
men. if 1t is a first invitation.
A ball should be very well lighted, exceedingly
well ventilated, and very gayly dressed. 1t is
the height of the gayety of the day; and although
dinner calls for handsome dress. a ball demands
it. Young persons of slender figure prefer light
dlaphanous dresses; the chaperOns can wear
heavy velvet and brOcade. Jewels are in order
prOfusiOn of flowers should add their bright
ness and perfume around the rooms and in the
hands of ladies. The great number of bouquets
sent to a debutante are often embarrassing
The present fashion is to have them hung by
different ribbons on the arm. so that they look
as if almost trimming to the dress
Gentlemen who have not selected partners
before the ball come to their hostess and ask to
| be presented to ladies who will dance with
them As hostess cannot leave her place
I While receiving, and people come at all hours to
ball, she generally asks two or three we'll
known society friends to receive with her. who
VIII take this part of her duty off her hands for
no hostess likes TO see wall-nowers at her ball;
she wishes all her young people to enjoy them
selves. Wel-hred young men ALWAYS say to the
hostess that they beg of her to Introduce them
to ladies who may be without partners. as they
will gladly make themselves useful to her
| After dancing with a lady, and walking about
the room with her for few times. q gentleman
/ is at perfect liberty to take the young lady
| back to her chaperOn, and plead another en-
gaGcment.
| The great trouble with balls in America is the
absence of room for those who wish to sit In
Europe, where the elderly are first considered
seats are placed around the room. somewhat
hl"h. for the chaperOns. and at their feet sit the
| dehUtantPs. These red-cOvered sofas in two
! tiers as it We're, are brought in bv the unhol-
| sterer (as we hire chairs for the crowded musi-
Gales or readings so common in large cities)
! ana are very convenient. 1t is strange that all
large halls are not furnished with them. "a they
make every one comfortable at very little ey-
/ rcilse. ami add to the appearance of the room
y row OF wei-dresSed ladies in velvet brOcade
! and diamonds, some with white hair certainly
/ forms very distinguished background for those
who sit at their feet
Supper is generally served all the evening
/ from a table which has been prepared with
/ flowers, fruit. candcabra silver and glass. and
ioaIed with hot oysters boned turkey, salmon
game, pttes. salads, ices. jellies and fruit from
/ the commencement Of the evening A hot sup
I per. with plentiful cups of boulion is served
again for those who dance the German
But the hostess so prefer. the supper is not
/ served until she gives the word, when her huS-
/ band leads the way with the most distinguished
/ lady present. and the rest of the company follow
/ as 1t happens. The hostess rarely goes in to
supper until every one has been served She
/ takes the opportunity of walking about her ball
/ room 10 see II every one is happy and attended
To. II she goes i'll. it is to take some dstin-
gu!shed guest, like the President. for instance.
| Inns *, however; point which may be left to
| the tact of the hostess
| young Lady is not apt to forget her ball
room engagements. but she should be sure NOT
/ 10 90 So she must be careful not to offend one
gentleman 10y refusing to dance with him and
| then accepting the offer Of another Such
Ihngs done by frivolous girls iniure a Young
man IctiihIs unnecessarily, and prove that the
| lady has not the training of a gentlewoman A
young man should not forget if he has asked q
young lady Tor the german. He must send her
bouquet, and be on hand 20 dance with her
II kept away by sickness or a death In his FAM
lily; he must send her note before the hour
IL Is not necessary to take leave of YOUR
hostess at ball. All that she requires Of YOU
Is to bow to her on entering and to make YOUR
self as agreeable and happy as you can while in
her house.
| Young men are not always as polite as they
should De at balls They ought, if they are we'll
bred. 10 look about and see if any lady has been
| lett unattended to at supper, to ask if they can
go Tor refreshments. if they can lead lady to a
| seat, go for carriage, etc, etc. 1t is not an
| lmpertlnence for young man thus to speak to
lady Older than himself even If he has not
been introduced; the roof is a sufficient intro
/ duction for any such purpose.
Inc hrst person who should be asked to dance
/ by theyoung gentlemeni invited to a house should
/ be the daughters of the house. To them and to
| their immediate relatives and friends must the
| first attentions be paid.
| lt Is not wise for young ladies' to ioin in
| every dance nor should young chaperon dance
! leaving her charge sitting. The very bad Amer
lean custom OF sending several young girls to a
! ball with very young Observation-Disclosures one
OF their numberwho has just been married-has
/ led 10 great yulgarlty in our American CITY life
not to say to that general misrepresentation of
/ foreigners, which offends. without correcting
our national vanity. 4 mother should try al
! ways to go 10 balls with her daughters. and to
/ stay as long as they do. But many mothers say,
/ we are not invited there is not room for us"
/ Then the daughters should not accept 1t is a
| very poor American custom not to invite the
| mothers Let a lady give two or three balls if
her list Is so large that she can only invite the
daughters. III 1t Is absolutely necessary to limit
| the invitation. the father should 90 with the
| daughters: for who else is to see them to their
carriage take care OF them If they faint, look to
/ one who may be neglected? The fact that a few
established old veterans of society insist upon
| Tagging supertiuouS on the stage should not de-
ter ladies who entertain from being true to the
ideas Of the best society, which certainly are in
favor OIL cnaperonage. and that mother should
accompany her daughter to ball; and that So
clety which does not include all ages is open to
| severe criticism.
| HosteSses should avoid crowd. The nuttinp
oil I'VE hundred people into hot room. with no
| chairs TO drop into. no air to breath is a very
cruel test OF friendship. 1t is this impossibiIity
| OIL putting ones dear five hundred friends into
narrow house which has led to the giving of
| oaiIs at public roOms-an innovation which
| shocked French woman OF rank who married
an American. You have no safeguard for
society in America" she observed. but y0ur
homes, No aristocracy, no king no court. no
traditions, but the sacred one of home. Now.
/ DO You not run great risks when YOU abandon
your homes, and bring out your young girls at
! hOtei!. There Is something in her wise remark.