Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1883-05-18
FUN
Saved Only To Be Lost.

FUN
Saved Only To Be Lost.
A STORY THAT ENDS so SADLY AS TO
CAUSE THE HEART TO DROP WITH
DULL THUD
Chicago Tribune.
kiss me, darling"
Richard Irwin had toiled slowly and
YEARLY up the two fights of stairs which
led to the poor abode, and looked long and
lovingly into the pale but beautiful face Of
the girl who had given up parents. homo
aud everything that bad made life happy
to become his wife and as she stood there
her soft white arms twined lovingly
around his neck and her deep hazel eyes
appraised to his, he saw that she had been
weeping. and around the wan. dropping
lips that in the happy bygone days were
80 often raised, pouting merrily the while,
to be kissed by his own, Their were traces
OF pie. Richard Irwin shuddered as he
drew the 1.-the, yielding form still more
closely to him, and he wept bitter, scald-
ing tears of pain to think that his wife,
Clytle StigRins, Boston born and bred-a
girl who habitually read Emerson and
whose essays on the theory of horizontal
cleavage in red sandstone was only excel
led by her paper on the fauna of the plio-
Gene period-should be reduced to eating
pie in the morning. And while he was
wrapped in these painful reveries Clytie
raised her head from his bosom. One
glance told her all.
''You are suffering, my darling" she
said. "Can you tell me, your wife, of your
sorrow ?"
at is nothing,'' Richard replied, kiss
ing her tenderly.
Lemon pie, too,'' he murmured, in
hoarse, agonized tones. as his lips left
hers. "My God. This is TERRIBLE
Just then noise as Of some one drag
ging himself slowly and YEARLY up the
stairs was heard. Presently it ceased, and
messenger-boY kicked open the door, and
walking to where Richard Irwin sat, hand
ed him telegram. He tore open the en-
velope with trembling hands and read the
to see that everything was all right.
''We are saved, Clytie, }" he SAID. in low,
broken tones. "Your father is dead, and
all his mackerel fishery is yours.''
YES" murmured the girl, kneeling be-
side the chair on which her husband sat,
"We are saved, Richard-saved by acau-
thopterogian fish of the scomberoid FAM
~. Its body is fusiform, It's first dorsal fin
continuous, and its branchiostegal rays arr
seven in NUMBER then. looking up
suddenly, she saw that the man she love,l
so we'll, and for whom she would have
sacrificed her life. was lying cold and pulse
less across the chair.
She had talked him to death.
A BOYS PRAYER.-A lady residing in
this village, the mother of bright little
boy. was talking to him the other night,
just as she was putting him to bed, about
the efficacy of prayer, and told him that if
he would ask God for anything that be
particularly desired she had no doubt his
request would be granted. The little fell
low knelt at his mothers knee and prayed
God to send him fifty little sisters and ont
hundred little brothers The prayer was
never finished. for the mother, aghast at
the prospect Of having her house turned
into an orphan asylum, lifted the boy to
bis feet and tucked him into bed without
moment unnecessary Middleton
Mercury.
A well-known journalist was taking
walk one evening with his wife when she,
who was somewhat romantic and an ad-
mirer of nature, said 'Oh, Georgy, lust
notice the moon!" Cant think of it,
my dear, for less than two shilIings per
line" was the reply.
When l was young man was always
in hurry to hold the big end of the log
and do all the lifting now 1 am older,
seize hold of the small end and do all the
grunting.
Hes grown to be polished gentle
man, anyhow" said an old lady gazing
fondly as she spoke at the smooth, shining
head of her eldest son, just returned after
long absence.
Don't loaf about the streets and depend
upon the Lord for your daily bread. He
il not running bakery.
Brevity is the soul of wit. The hotel
keeper who. wrote to delinquent ex-
boarder, 'SeDd me amount of bill,'' re-
ceived for reply, 1.-THE amount is $40 5O.''
1t is the dog that has the ''pants'' and
the young man the pantaloons; but it is
not unfrequently the case chat before the
young man can get safely over the fence
it is he who has the pants" and the dog
the pantaloons.
What is this? It is Young and
Anxious Father. Has 1t bottle in Its
Hand? Yes, and there's Big Label on
the Small Bottle. What does the Label
spell? P-a-r.e-g-o-r-i-c. Where is the
Young and Anxious Father going He is
going to the Bawl this Evening.
Corns on the feet not only affect mans
walk, but also frequently exert q bad in
fuence on his conversation.
A man with scolding wife, when in
quired of respecting his occupation, said
be kept hot-house.
A sound suggestion turn deaf
ear to the telephone. }