Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
WIT AND HUM0R.

A Cincinnati milkman was arrested,
the other day, for biting off the tips Of
his balky horses ears.
He was showing his friend, a western
merchant, around the city, and rs he
pointed TO the stock exchange he proud
~ said: THAT is our Ras-el-Tin palace,
so to speak" Fifteen minutes later
they wel ~ q busy, crowded fashion
able re mt, and his friend remark
ed: On I suppose, is your Ras-el-
Hash paIaceY'
A little girl was asked by her mother
on her return from church how she
liked the preacher Didn't Ike him al
al, was the reply" SWhy?" asked her
mother "Cause he breaches till he
made mo sleepy, and then hollered so
loud that he wouldn't let me 20 to
sleep.
In Dcadwood church, the other day,
tho large congregation were devOutlv
knecling in prayer, when an irreyerent
joker quite audibly whispered, Here
comes an Eastern detective" In seven
teen seconds ali Of that congregation
except the chief elder had slid through
the windows.
Il say, old fellow, where is your
sweetheart-the girl you're engaged to?
She is here tonight, isn't she?' 'iShe
is. Do you see that blonde in pink oy-
er there?" That magnificent creature
with the dark eyes:" Yes. BY iove,
"old boy My giri IS the one
alongside of her on the left.
An Indiana youth with the suggestive
name of Costing saw a girl at church,
courted her there for two hours, and at
the end of the next hour was married to
her An Iowa editress says of the af-
fair: "A man who does all of his court
ing in two hours and then marries, mis-
es lots of fun. It's like stuiling himself
with peaches and cream in five minutes
and then having dyspepsia the rest Of
the year.
An exchange says that Prof Schiff,
the Florentine Vivisector has used mp
more than $4,000 dogs in his expert
meuts. If Prof. Schitf will just bring
his tools and dissecting-room to Ameri-
ca he will receive welcome warmer
and more cordial thousand fold than
has been extended to Oscar Wilson, or
Tug Wilde, or Jumbo, or all three com
bined.
"What ails this heart ofminc?" is the
heading Of story that is going the
rounds OF the papers We suppose he
saw his girl out riding with another fell
low. There is nothing that makes the
heart get up and pound the ribs and
carom on the other vital parts and Jump
up and down like churn-dasher, and
then get tired and keep so still YOU
think it has stopped beating forever, as
to see your girl out riding with another
tellow-we are told.
The California small-boy is hard
one to fool The other day in San Fran
cisco a lank six-footer who was "gotupn
after the style of Buffalo Bill, was pa
radng the streets when two street ga
Minis exposed him in this manner Bill,
this ere blokc is fraud, he is; he amt
no scout or iniun fighter; he is one Of
them fellows rs sells patent soap to
clean your clothes" How do yer know
that he's fraud2'n asked the other
Cos | seen him wipiug his nose with
Il handkerchief instead of with his ing-
ers, as all real scouts does
A few weeks ago a gentleman entered
the office of well-known insurance
agent, and tossing paper on the count
er, said to the clerk: That's run out,
and | want to get it renewed. y The
clerk unfolded the document, and then
n broad grin unfolded itself over his
counteuance, and he inquired; Are
YOU sure that this has run out?'' 20,
yes said the gcntleman; my wife
told me it run out yesterday morning"
'NWell. | am sorry for you, but we are
not taking that Kind of risk now" re-
sponded the clerk, rs he handed back
to him his marriage certificate.