Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-11-03
HUNTING SOAP.
slippery An EeI-Impossible to Find
Words to Express His Feelings-"so
Near and Yet So Far

Brown was washing his hands. the
cake of soap slipped out of his
fingers, and. striking the wall, few
down behind the wash stand.
Mr.. Brown Immediately got on all
fours, and laid his head on the floor
10 see where the soap was. 1t was
right against the wall, and about as
far from one side of the wash stand
as the other
When Mr.. Brown began TO reach
under with his arm, he found he could
not get half way to the soap, because
he was on his knees, and his back
was almost broken, and sharp pain
ran up his neck, and he felt as if he
had been dropping potatoes all day.
And then he lay on his chest as
though swimming, and thrust his arm
fiercely under, and took off about
half-a- yard of skin. This caused Mr..
Brown to foam at the mouth and say
to himself:
"By gracious! this is a test case,
and l am going to see if cake of
soap can beat me, il l have to stay
home from business all day, and
break the wash-stand up in the bar
gainr'
So Mr.. Brown rolled over on his
back and thrust his arm under as
cautiously as though there was a
hornets nest under the ash-stand.
On, on it went, and Mr. Brown smiled
a smile that had every possible syrnp-
tom of victory in it.
BY this time his throat was full Of
dust off the carpet, and frequently he
coughed. But now his fnger-the
very end of his finger-touched the
soap, and that momentary touch
vibrated through his soul like a
gentle benediction. and caused fresh
crop of smiles to float as softly over
his features as does the summer
zephyr across a field of bearded
wheat.
That touch had magic about it
that thrilled Mr.. Brown with divinest
melody. 1t was to him. in short,
what spring chicken is to the negro,
and found as lovely place in his
dreams as does the razor in the
Negroes boot.
Then Mr.. Brown turned on his
side to see the soap, that he might
grab it; but when he got on his side,
his reach was shortened and he
couldn't touch the SOAP Then he
turned over on his back, and felt the
soap again, and attempted to grab it.
In doing this. he only sent the soap
flying further back, and out of reach.
In an ecstasy of rage, he thought
he might get the soap by making a
desperate crack at it with his hand,
and knocking it out on the floor
So he hauled off and let fly as hard
as he could, and his hand missed the
soap and few around like a compass,
and struck the stone paper weight
that was acting in the place of the
leg that was gone.
Before he could count how many
fingers had been knocked out of Joint,
he discovered that the paper weight
had been driven against the wall by
the force Of the blow.
Ere he could utter the words that
were on the end of his tongue, the
wash-stand tilted and upset the basin
Of water on him, and while the water
was in his eyes and ears, the basin
followed and lay on his stomach like
tombstone, and pretty near knocked
the breath out of him.
Before he could express himself,
although there were about four
thousand words inside of him strug-
Cling to get out, the drawers few
out, and emptied a lot Of tooth
powder and razors and lathering-
brushes on him. Then the doors of
the wash-stand few swiftly open, and
raised a couple of Jumps on him that
he will carry about for several weeks
to come.
After this Mr.. Brown turned over
on his chest. and almost inhaled a
lathering-brush-h was breathing so
hard. He saw the soap distinctly.
The soap saw him, too. He looked
upon it as cat looks upon the mouse
that is out of her reach.
And Mr.. Brown grinned fiendishly
at the soap and said:
"Just come out two inches from
the wall, and give me chance to
grab you. I dare you to come out
even one inch, you mean, miserable
five cent cake of soap. So you'll take
dare, will youi II I were only half
your size, I wouldn't take dare; 1
would face the music. You are
spiritless plebeian cake of soap-you
are only fit to wash a dog with. I
believe you are only an imitation of
what you claim to be, you"
Here Mrs. Brown suddenly opened
the door against Mr.. Browns head,
and said:
"Why in the world don't you come
down' The breakfast is getting
cold"
"-i! -!!-??!
-!!!!!" replied Mr.. Brown, as he
sat up and ran his fingers through
his hair, to get out the razors and
lsthering- brushes.
"What's the matter, anyhow" de-
manded Mrs. Brown.