Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-06-29

"Say, my DEAR" calculated Mr..
Spoopendyke. sitting bolt upright in
bed with a sudden jerk: Say, my
dear, wake up! hear burglars in the
house."
.WhoP what burglars?" demanded
Mrs. Spoopendyke, as she popped up
beside her husband. '.Who is in the
house?''
'.Hushl Quiet, will We? don't know
which burglar; but l hear somebody
moving around.
"Ohi nv! What shall we dop'' in
quired Mrs. Spoopendyke. Lets cover
up our heads"
.Why don't You get up and light the
gasp" propounded Mr.. Spoopendyke in
a Hbarse whisper :. S'pose you can see
who it is in the dark? Strike light,
can't you? If you had your way we'd
both be murdered in bed. Going to light
up before we're killed?n
I'm afraid whispered Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, sticking one foot out of bed and
hauling it in as if she had caught fish
with it.
"Going to sit there like shot-tower
and have our throats cut?" inferno
gated Mr.. Spoopendyke. "How'm !
going to find a burglar without light
Find match and light that measly gas,
quick''
Mrs. Spoopendyke crawled out of bed
and hunted around for a skirt.
What's the matter with We? Cant
You find match? Why don't you
move?n Kissed Mr.. Spoopendyke.
q am, as fast as cam replied his
wife. her teeth chattering. I'm look
ing for PIN
''Oh! you're moving like railroad,
amt We? / never saw anything fly like
Won do! All You want is to be done
up in white and blue papers to be :
seidlitz powder. What d We want of 6
pin? Going to stick pin in the burg.
lar? Why don't you light the gasp
Mrs. Spoopendyke broke n half dozer
matches and finally got light
"That's something like it." continued
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Now hand me my
pantaloons.
"You won't 90 down where they are
will you?" anXiously inquired Mrs
Spoopendyke, handing over the gar.
ments.
Mr.. Spoopendyke vouchsafed no re
ply, but donned the habiliments.
Now, YOU open the door, said he
"and 90 to the head of the stairs anC
ask who's there while 1 find my stick
Hurry up, or they'll get away.
"Suppose they are there. What'll
do then?''
"Tell them that I'm coming. CO
ask 'em will We? What's the matter
with you?'
Mrs. Spoopendyke opened the dool
about an inch. squealed "Who's there?'
slammed the door and popped into bed
"What ails YEP" demanded her hus
band. "What do you think you are
anyhow: conical shot? Get up, can
you, and look out. Where's my biz
stick? What have you done with it
Sent it to school, haven't We? Go on
and ask who's there, will We. befor,
they come up and slaughter us
Once more Mrs. Spoopendyke APP
preached the door and TREMENDOUSLY de
manded what was going on. Their
was no response, to her incalculable re
lief, and she went to the head of tn,
stairs.
"See anybody?' whispered Mr.
Spoopendykc, looking over her shout
der
"Who's tlere?n squealed Mrs. Spoop
endyke. Go right away, because m,
husband is here"
"Oh, you We done it, exclaimed Mr.
Spoopendyke, as he hauled her bacl
into the room. Now, how do you sup
pose I'm going to catch themp Wha
do you want to scare them away for
Think this nominating convention
What made you leave the house open
Come on down with me and I'll SHOW
you how to lock up.
Down they went and careful scrutin'
demonstrated that everything was fast
Il don't believe there was anybodr
there" said Mrs. Spoopendyke, as the,
returned to Their chamber.
1T was not your fault retorted Mr.
Spoopendyke. :" If you had got up whel
told you and kept your mouth. shut
we'd have got them"
But you said for me-"
Didn't say anything of the sort!'
howled Mr. Spoopendyke; never men
toned your name once. We Nigh
have been killed, the way we went t.
work"
q think we'd caught them if they,
been there said Mrs. Spoopendyke
taking down her hair and proceeding t
put it up again.
You'd caught emf sneered Mr.
Spoopendyke. "All you want is SOM
chloride of lime and your account
short to be in the penitentiary Anothe
time burglar gets into the house Vol
stay abed, and don't you wake up again
| won't have any dod-gasted woman
hearrF
Eyes, dear and Mrs Spoopendyk
wound her hand in the collar of he
liege lords night-shirt and went t,
sleep, secure in his protection. Brook
Ign Eagle.