Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-08-08
THE PRESIDENT STICKS.
A Mean Trick Upon IA Distinguished
Party of Church GOers.


Probably the meanest trick that was
ever played on anybody, in church, was
played at Washington few Sundays ago.
The fact that the matter has not leaked
out before is because the authorities have
been trying to find out the parties that
perpetrated the wicked joke. In one of
the Washington churches there is one
row of pews down one side that are re-
served for distinguished citizens. 1t was
in one of these pews that the editor of the
San was ushered when he was there a
year ago. The usher seems to know a
distinguished citizen when he sees one.
But this is neither here nor in Washing
ton. On the Sunday in question some i'd
lot got into the church be-
fore the services commenced. and
put some prepared glue on all the
filled up with distinguished citizens of
Washington, the President, members of
his Cabinet. Assistant Postmaster General
Hatton, Public Printer Rounds, judges,
prominent lawyers and visitors to the
city. When the congregation got up to
sing, the occupants of the glue row made
an effort to rise, and then with one accord
all remained seated. They had to remain
seated or get up without their customary
clothes on. The congregation looked at
the row that was seated, looked at each
other. and then some sat down, thinking,
perhaps, it was the style to sit down. The
services proceeded, and every little While
one of the men who was stuck would try to
move around a little to seeif he was loose,
and all the rest would look at him to see
if he succeeded in tearing himself away,
The President, who had on pair of light
lavender pants, is said to have watched
Mr.. Hatton's efforts to tie himself loose
with great interest, and the perspiratiOn
rolled off the Presidential face as though
he was out fishing in the sun. Judge
Gresham is said to have gone to sleep as
usual, and he never seemed to give his
pants thought, but, on the contrary, Mr..
Rounds is alleged to have become nervous
and pulled at his pants until he broke his
suspenders, and then he quit. If there is
one thing Rounds does know, it is when
to quit. When the last hymn had been
sung the congregation moved out at
the signal of the benediction, except
the gentlemen of the fated row. When
all had passed out that seemed to de-
sire to do so, the sexton came along, and
Mr.. HattOn told him what was the trou-
bic, and then they all discussed the
situation. The President was of the Opin-
ion that it was the work of a second Gui-
teau, but Mr.. Rounds said it was clearly
the work of an incendiary, Teller, who
was fastened to the same pew as FOlger
happened to be In, was for saving off to
see who could break the mOnotOny, but
Folger would not hear to it, and wanted
the sexton to send for the Surgeon Gen
eral to amputate the whole party, Hat
ton, who wears a short coat, said he
should stay there until night and send
for his carriage. Finally the sexton took
Mr.. Rounds by the collar, and
took hold of the hem of his gar
ment with the other hand, and by
strong pull released him, with some of
his pants, and when once it was found
that pulling would relieve them, they all
got loose, but they were tired lot, and
all who did not have carriages went home
by the back streets. A purse was raised
to pay detectives to hunt the villains who
put the glue on the pews to their lairs,
and it is probable they will be arrested
before the news gets out, a person who
would thus defie church, and heap in
dignity upon the first citizens of the re-
public, is fit only for treason, stratagems
and politics, but such people do exist, and
it is not strange that they should visit
Washington. 1t is believed the deed was
done by some disappointed Office-seeker,
and MIR. Hatton will leave no stone I'M
turned to find the guilty party.