The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1883-09-13
TOBIT CLUKE's BARGAIN.

Muckledrumlie - some Scotchman
must have christened twas no place
for a man whose eye-teeth were uncut.
The people, as n class, were of the
wide-awake type; and if, now and
then, one among them was caught
mapping, his condition, on waking, was
very apt to suggest that SOlOmOn's in
junction, g Give not sleep to thine eyes
nor slumber to thine eyelids," was
specially designed for the meridian of
Muckledrumlic.
They were sharp traders, the Muckle-
drumlians. Indeed, Joe Jawtry used
to say couple of them could sit down
to a quiet bargain and rise up each a
hundred dollars richer without q cent
of money passing-a mode of produc-
ing wealth which Adam Smith and the
rest of them have forgotten to mention
in their books. But Joe's opinion of
his fellow-townsmen may have been
little warped by his own experience.
He was an old i'' forty-niner," who had
returned from California with a snug
little pile, intending to spend it and the
rest of his days peacefully in his native
town meaning that the two, as nearly
as possible, should run out together.
But he hadn't been a month in Muckle-
drumlie before he was bargained out of
all he had-the bulk of it going, share
and share alike, to Nathan Sinch and
Tubal Tulkins, the two smartest "
men in the town.
About the poorest man in Muckle-
drumlie was Tobit Clube. His sole
possession was a patch of ground as
poor as himself. Part of it was a stony
hillside, which the most graceless
vagrant of q weed would have dis
dained to take root in.
One day as Nathan Sinch Glanced to
be sllirting this sterile slope, his eye,
always on the lookout, spied Joe Jaw
try half way up, clinging with one
hand to the stump of n stunted crab
tree, which had died of sheer want, and
poking among the stones with the
other.
When Joe found that Nathan's eyes
were on him he slid down from his
perch like a 'possum from a pers;mmon
bush, and was hurrying off, pretending
not to have seen Nathan, when the lat
ter called out:
Hello, neighbor!-wh what was you
peekin' into up THEREOF
"N-nothin', much, +" stammered Joe,
hanging his head and looking flustered.
And that was all that could be got
from him in spite of Nathan SINGH $
questions. which was neither few nor
business and took a hasty leave.
"What can that chap be up to?n said
Nathan, with a perpleXed scratch of the
head. He was half inclined to scram-
Bile up and inspect for himself the spot
which had engaged Joe's attentions but
the ascent was steep, the day hot, and
Nathan fat
"Confound it, he muttered, liant
nOthin', nohow." And casting n wish
full look up at the crab-trce stump, he
sighed regretfully ard waddled on.
Bright and early next day Joe paid a
visit to Nathan.
"Mornin', Mr.. Sinch," he said,
cordially.
"Mornin', joe" returned the other,
stiifly, a little miffed over his late
bailled curiosity.
Joe Jawtry hemmed and cleared his
throat with an embarrassed air He
wasn't commonly ut loss for words; but
there was plainly something working
on his mind-something he wanted to
say, but didn't kI ow how to approach.
Ding it allt'' broke out Nathan, his
inquisitiveness fairly boiling over out
with it at once, and don't stand there
han&in' back like a bound boy at a
frolic!'
Il" Joe began, out stuck fast
BIurt II out. exclaimed Nathan,
bursting with Impotence.
I've COME said joe nerving him
self with an effort, "to ask if you d
lend me a thousand dollars i mean on
good security
Nathan Sinch opened his eyes. What
earthly security had Joe Jawtry to Of
fer for q thousand dollars? Nathan 5
curiosity rose to white heat.
Fact is, continued Joe, in a mys-
terious half whisper, "Ithiuk of maxim
Tobit Cluke an offer for that bit o Hill
side o. his'n; an eff | buy it I'll be will
in to s'cure the loan by a NOR gidge on
the primises."
LEND YOU thousan' dollars to put
in lobe Cluke's hillside!-well, that's a
GOOD un!-ha! hal hai-an' take a
NOR gidge on it for the mOney!-better
vet!Sho! no! no! Not much, eff Nat
Sinch knows hisself. Why, I'd like to
see the gasted fool as'd give thousand
cents for that stone-heapn'
"R-shr cautioned Joe, don't
speak so loud. l don't want the thing
to cit out There's lots o folks as'd be
ready to snap it up ut wunst eff they
only know'd what know. There ;
TuEal Tulkins, for one, I've my doubts
he half mistrusts Already
well, I'm main sorry l cant obleege
Won. said Nathan-''not ef the 5 curlty
was ever so good. Tn dreadful skrimp
O. money Jest now. These IS tryln
times, YOU know, an wuss Is comm L m
afeard
Joe pleaded hard, but Nat Sineh was wa,
man that could say mo, anu SUCK
TO il: so Joe went away empty handed
ana looking a good deal choPfallen'