The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-05-23
S5ndying The Tim l-'p1hla.

My dear" said Mr. Spoopendyke,
running his thumb down the list of towns
on the timetable and glaring helplessly
at the column Of figures, my dear, the
man must have given ME the wrong
business. We can never get anywhere
with this.
Lets see. D." Elurmured Mrs Spoop-
endyke, laying her hand on his arm and
drawing the timetable toward her.
There's Boston Lv. and Albany Ar.
2:30 to 2:40. That's plain enough. >"
at is. is it?" snorfed MIR Spoopendyke,
abandoning the table and bending his
eyes on his wife. ..Think that's plain
enough, do We? Show me how you
make it. If you've got this thing by the
tail, wiggle it once for my information.
Why" fluttered Mrs. Spoopendykc,
you just add 'em together. Ought's
ought, four and three's seven, eight and
two's ten, put down the ought and car
f'Carry swill to the hoos!" roared
Spoopendyke, bracing himself in his
seat and surveying his wife with marked
Misrepresentation That's about as much
as you know, anyway. What interest
has Lv. and Ar. got in this thfngP Got
some kind of a notion that they own the
road, haven't We? P'raps We think ones
a tunnel and the other bridge Well,
they amt, and they're not half-baked
females who don't know timetable
from dog law. Now, you let me fig
ure this thing if you don want TO spend
the balance of your precious life on the
road
Certainly, my dear" cooed Mrs.
Spoopendy ke' nesting up to her hus-
band and glancing around the car to see
/ no In ~
make it out if anybody can"
Now. we started from New York at
1880 a. M, continued Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, land we got TO Buffalo at 1915 a.
M. Then according to this, we leave
Buffalo at 1885 and 1910 for Chicago
What | want to know is, why we leave
Buffalo twice -
Il suppose its to make sure of getting
away from there, suggested Mrs Spoop-
endyke, fastening her thumb and fore
finger on the margin of the timetable
with death grip, May be the engine
leaves at l2:35 and the last car at 12:40,''
she added, rs the new explanation oc-
CURED 10 her. anyhow it is better TO
get away from there twice than stay
there altogether, don't You think so,
DEAR and she looked up at him con-
fdin@ly.
''S'pose nybody along the line of this
road knows what YOU are driving atP''
snarled Spoopendyke, hauling at his end
Of the timetable Let go. will We? |
Engine leaves at 1910! That the idea! |
1t took YOU to hit it! When / get time |
TO fix You up with cowcatcher and a |
schedule OF cut rates. L IN going to start |
an opposition road with you! Now let |
this thing alone, tell YER
There it is!'' exclaimed Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, flushing with another discovery. I
i've got it now! OF course we've got
to leave Buffalo twice to get to Chicago
Lwicei' and Mrs. Spoopeudyke settled
herself back and regarded the table with
much complacency.
''Oh, You We got ii, roared Spoopen-
iyket This railroad is twins! Leaves
twice and gets everywhere
wheel Nobody would have even found
t out but YOU! All YOU want now is a
misplaced switch and coroner's in
quest to be "a through trunk line! Can't
Tou see that's two different trains that
ret in here at 7:40P S'pose they only
'un one train on this dod gasted roadP |
lot notion that the train goes both
Ways at the same time? | know all
bout this as well rs you do, but what
want to understand is how this train |
caves Buffalo twice. Got it now? Think
ou've fathomed my design on this time
able?''
Perhaps there are two different trains
ut of Buffalo," haZarLed Mrs. Spoop-
ndyke.
MIR. Spoopendyke deliberately tore the
timetable into a thousand pieces, drop
ed them carefully under the seat, buried !
is hands in his pockets and gazed out
t the. window.
Il don't care" soliloquized Mrs.
There can't two trains
rive anywhere without leaving some
here, and anyhow, / suppose we'd get
Chicago just as well if We didn't I'M
erstand about this Buffalo attain"
With which eonsoling reflection, Mrs. =
poopendyke settled herself in. her seat s
nd gave herself up to considering how
lat girl on the other side of the aisle
ould act if she knew how much her
Iushins and loud talking with her es-
1rt offended the more virtunls-minded
her sex.-Br00kiyls Eag1e.