The banner-enterprise., 1883-06-14
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Things worth nolng-lnVltatlons 10
drink.
Many patients at our best hospitals
receive cruel treatment.-LVe.
Why are bores like trees? Because
we love them b2st when they Leave
Derrick.
Breaches of promise-Those your
tailor didn't bring home.--Chicago
Herald.
A bee often meets with reverses,
but as a rule he is successful in the
end.-E0 hester EapreSS.
al spread my waves from poll to
poll" remarked the wig-maker as he
rented another capillary alornment.
DR.. Potter Of New York, laments
"the decay Of enthusiasm" He should
watch the small boy on the morning
of the circus.
Rev. DR.. Pusey left apersonal estate
of more than $4,000. All his property
goes to his daughter, Miss Mary Ame-
liza Brine. That is to say it is all salted
down.
A genius advertised" A sewing
machine for twenty-five cents in
stamps" and his dupes did not see the
point until they received cambria
needle,-Bcokheeper.
Brigham Young's grave is utterly
neglected, and his widows never visit
it. They went there once to cry over
his remains, but it made the ground so
sloppy that they all caught cold
Joseph Cook has written an article
on tobacco, but fails to teach the
secret of the art of carrying cigars in
his vest pocket in such manner that
ones friends cannot detect them
Puck.
A Western paper announces the fact
that an acrobat turned somerSault
on locomotive smokestack. That is
nothing. We know of an engineer
who turned on the steam. m.--PhladeL-
phi2 NeacS.
The New York san comes out with
the usual announcement that every
woman in the land ought to learn how
to swim. No woman knows how soon
she may get tumbled off a street car.
Detroit Free Press.
A Troy girl was made stark, staring
mad by the excitement of the prepa-
rations fer her own wedding She
ought to have waited till she had been
married little While, when she could
have found real provocation for get
ting mad.
1t is said that young lady can
never whistle in tn presence of her
lover. The reason is obvious. He
doesn't give her chance. When she
gets her lips in proper position for
whistling something else always occurs.
-ROche ter Pos.
A San Antonio lawyer does an i'm
mensc business, according to his card
in a 10 al pal er. The card reads. Il
attend TO all the business in the State
and Federal courts This must make
it hard for the other lawyers to make
a living. -SUtinas.
A Missouri maden's mistake: One
of the sweetest-lcoking iris in the
State of Missouri dslocated her
shoulder the other day by kick'ng a
cat. Handsome is as handsome does,
but she ,hould not k elk with her right
arm.-AtchiSon Globe.
A girl shouldn't wear black belt
about her waist when she's got
white dress on and is walking with
young man in the night time. 1t
makes it appear from rear window
as If her fellow had his arm around
her waist.-Bufalo NetrS.
Boston girls never sacrifice the cause
of culture tothat of philanthropy. A
tramp recently accosted one of them
and asked her if she would he good
enough to give him the price of an
humble meal. 81 haven't any money
with me- she said, "b t If you'll come
around TO the house 1 Ter pa returns
home I'll get him to read you some
pages of Paradise Lost.
HER OWN
Her arms we're clasped about him,
His head lay on her breast;
Sweet were the words she murmured
As she his hair caressed;
She pressed her warmest kisses
Upon his beaming face,
And death alone could sever
The love of her embrace.
She told him of her sorrows,
And OF her sweetest joys
The wedding day she longed foN
of love without alloys,
And in his ear she whispered
The fondest dialogue,
Her closest secrets told to-
Her little poodle dog.
| -NorTistotpn Herald.