Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-03-12
SOME NEW FABLES.

SOME NEW FABLES.
A Chicago lady once applied to a
Learned Judge for Divorce. "What
is the Name of your Husband?" inquir-
ed the Learned Judge. "I have no Hus-
band yet, but Inasmuch as I contem-
plate Matrimony, I feel that should be
Prepared for the Worst"
A child Awakening from sleep in the
Dead of Night, cried out to its Mamma
in alright, ooh, Mamma" said the
child, 81 saw a Big Kitty at the Win
dow" "Be calm, my Dear" replied the
mother, 81 have been Married too Long
to be Worried by anything Short of
Snakes in your Papa's Boot"
A philosopher once Found Woman
weeping over the Grave of her child.
''How foolish of you to Weep" said he,
''for had the child lived. he might have
become a Poet" Hearing this, the
Woman dried her eyes and Went on
her way Rejoicing. This Fable teaches
that we should not repine before con-
sidering what the future might have
been.
A Dog and his Tail fell into Dis
pute as to which should Wag the Other.
An itinerant Wasp passing that Way
casually Remarked: Speaking Of
Tails, reminds me that I Possess one
which May possibly be influential
enough to Wag you Both" This Fable
teaches that 10 cents worth of dyna-
mite is bigger man than church
steeple.
An Editor once Owned three Hundred
thousand dollars worth of Railroad
stock, twenty One Thousand dollar
Government bonds, six white Shirts,
country Residence on the Hudson, a
farm in Illinois, span of Horses and
a Wagon, two suits of Clothes and a
Plug hat. This Fable teaches that all
the liars are not dead yet.-DenUer
Tribune.
A child who had mild type of the
Measles invited a number of her &C
quaintances to Party. Producing from
the pantry a Bowl of Sweetmeats, she
said: Behold now an Act of Gener-
osity. / will Take the Sweetmeats, and
you, Unless you Immediately Take your
Departure, will Take the Measles. {"
This fable illustrates the ingenuousness
of childhood.
A man who had Been Drinking went
Home Late one Night, and Hung his
Hat and Cane upon his Breath instead
OF upon the Hat Rack. The hat rack,
being of a naturally Sensitive DISPOSE
ton, began to ch1de the Man. pray.
be calm," said the man, "What I am
doing is intended simply as an intimation
to you that am Fuller than Goat. 4"
This Fable teaches us that haste fire.
quently leads us to misinterpret the mo-
tives of others.
An Angle-worm was once Observed
by Catfish wriggling about in Pond.
Poor, dear Thing" said the Catfish !;
MY heart bleeds for you. For fear you
will be Drowned, will Take you in
Out of the Wetp To which the Angle
worm replied: II am Grateful for your
Sympathy, but if you Take me in, it
will be your ellis that will Bleed for
me-" Misinterpreting this remark for
humor, the Catfish swallowed the An
gle-worm and learned too late that
the Angle-worm had previously swal-
lowed Limerick hook. By this Fa-
BILE we are taught that it is best to in
quire into contract before undertake
ing it.
A sympathetic pawnbroker once Call
ed upon an Afflicted Clothing Merchant
to Condoie with him upon the Loss of
his Wife. ooh, Noses" quoth he, you
were so Wild with Grief when I saw
you Sitting by the Coffin yesterday that
could not Bear the Sight but Crept
away Weeping" "Were you Not by the
Grave?" inquired Moses, removing the
Handkerchief from his Eyes. mo" re-
piled Abraham, 81 was not by the Grave
i was too much broken up with See
ing you by the Coffin" "Oh," exclaim-
ed Moses, you Should have Been by
the Gravel just raised - by the
Grayew This fable teaches that the
depth of human sorrow is boundless.