Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-01-20
THAT DREADFUL BOY.

|
grocery man, it gives me new
idea. 1 tell you pa has got great
brain, but sometimes he don't have it
with him. When he said, the other
day. I was terror to cats, thought
what fun there is in cats, and me
and my chum went to stealing cats
right off. and before night we had
eleven cats Gagged. We had one in a
canary bird cage, three in pas old
hat boxes, three in mas band boxes,
four in valises, two in trunk, and
the rest in a closet up stairs. That
night pa said he wanted me to stay
at home because the committee that
is going to get up an oyster supper
in the church was going to meet at
our house, and they might want to
send me on errands. asked him if
nv chum couldn't stay too, cause he
is the healthiest infant to run after
errands that ever was, and pa said
he could stay, but we must remem-
Der that there mustn't be no monkey
business going on. told him there
shouldn't be no monkey business,
but didn't promise nothing about
cats. Well, sir, you'd dide. The
committee was in the library, by the
back stairs, and me and my chum
got the cat boxes all together at the
top of the stairs, and we took them
ali out and put them in a clothes
basket, and just as the minister was
speaking and telling what a great
good was done by these oyster So
cables, in bringing the young peo-
pie together and taking their minds
from the wickedness of the world
and. urning their thoughts into diff
| ferent channels, one of the old tom
cats in the basket gave 'purmeow
that sounded like the wall of lost
soul or challenge to battle. l told
nv chum that we couldn't hold the
bread-board over the clothesbasket
much longer, when two or three cats
began to howl, and the minister
stopped talking and pa told ma to
open the stair door and tell the hired
girl to see what was the matter up
there. She thought our cat had got
shut ND in the storm door, and she
opened the stair door to yell to the
| girl, and then I pushed the clothes
| basket, cats and all, down the back
stairs. Well, sir, 'spose no COM
mittee for an oyster supper was ever
more astonished. l heard ma fall
over willow rockingham and say
scat and heard pa say, well, I'm
damd,' and girl that sings in the
choir say, Heavens, am stabbed
then my chum and me run to the
front of the house and come down
the front stairs, looking as innocent
as could be, and we went in the IL
brary, and Twas just going to tell pa
| if there was any errands he wanted
me to run, my chum and me was
Just aching to run them, when a yell
low cat without any tail was walk
ing over the minister, and pa was
throwing bassock at two cats that
were clawing each other under the
piano, and ma was trying to get her
frizzes back on her head, and the
choir girl was standing Oh the lounge
with her dress pulled up trying to
scare cats with her striped stockings,
and the committee broke up. Well,
| to tell the honest truth, pa knew /
had something to do with the muss
and basted me and yanked me
around until had to leave my arm
in o sling, but what is the use of
making such fuss about a few cats.
Ma said she never wanted to have
any company again, 'cause~I spoiled
everything. But / got even with
pa for basting me this morning, and
/ dassent go home. You see, ma has
got great big bath sponge, as big
as chair cushion, and this morn
ing I took the sponge and filed it
with warm water and took the feather
cushion out of the chair pa sits in at
the table, and put the sponge in its
place, and covered it over with the
cushion cover, and when we. all got
set down to the table pa come in and
sat down on it to ask blessing. He
started in by closing his eyes and
placing his hands up in front of him
like letter v, and then he began
to ask that the food we were about
to partake of be blessed, and then
he was going on to ask that all of
us be made to see the error of our
ways, when he began to hitch around,
and he opened one eye and
looked at me, and looked as pious
as boy can look when he knows the
pancakes are getting cold, and pa
kind of sighed and said Amen sort
Of snappish, and got up and told
ma he didn't feel we'll, and she
would have to take his place and
pass around the sassige and potatoes,
and he looked kind of scarf and
went out with his hand on his pis-
tol pocket, as though he would like
to shoot, and ma she got up and
went around and sat in pas chair.
The sponge didn't hold more than
half pailful of water, and I didn't
want to play no joke on ma, cause
the cats nearly broke her up, but
she sat down, and was just going
to help me when she rung the bell
and called the hired girl. and said
she felt as though her neuralgia was
coming on. and she would go to her
room, and told the girl to sit down
and help Hennery. The girl sat
down and poured me out some cot
fee, and then she said: 'Howly st
Patrick, but / blave those pancakes
are burning and she went out in
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