Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-08-10
ORR KALEIDOSCOPE.
Now doth the citizen Of wealth
Remove to rural scenes for health

| "Dehr DOC All got the COLO. Come"
Kept In check-the young man supported
i by rich father.
A new Chinese toilet powder is call "meer
fun" Blamed II II isn't, when it gets all ovel
a fellows shoulders.
Susan b. Anthony is coming home next
month. The funds Of the association have
given out.
Governor Butler says that verse writing is
one Of "the most worthless exercises of the
human mind" OF some minds 1t is.
A Georgia man has married a lady by the
name of Time. He has come to time at
last.
All English weddings must occur before
noon. The Englishman wouldn't have his
dinner spoilt for anything.
| When the weary granger sits down in the
harvest field to rest him, and suddenly Jumps
up,as thoughan electric current had traversed
his system, 1t is not always shock Of wheat
which he experiences. Sometimes it is a
hornet.
The correct thing-a chronometer.
Philadelphia boarding houses are said to
have made all the living skeletons now on
exhibition.
A church lawn party in Amsterdam, N.
Y, ended in row and free fight. An ice
cream sylph got mixed up in the crowd and
had all her false hair torn off, and two dea-
cons crawled under the church and got
wedGed In 80 that they had to be creased
with lard before they could be pulled out.
The disc very is announced OF new
anasthetc which, while it destroys sensi-
bility, does not interfere with the subjects
J consciousness or physical activity. 1t may
be administered to children fifteen minutes
before spanking.
The Chinese aren't dead loss to this
country, after ALL A Chinsman has invent.
ed an instrument for scratching the back.
We acknowledge the receipt of "The
Constitution and Bylaws of the United
: States Hay Fever Association" A merito-
rlous organization, and one which ough. tc
be encouraged.
A young man urged, as one of the reason:
why girl should marry him, that he had 6
collection Of over 400 different kinds OIL
wood. She said if it was kin,lling wood
she'd think about il.
, A New Haven, Conn, man can hold
5 piece Of pie in his sleeve aud cat it without
being observed. That would be a valuabl,
art for tramp to learn.
e A New Hampshire woman within the las
eleven months has made AIS pairs of pants
Her husband has been learning to ride
, bicycle.
It's little tough on poor but deserving
tramp, when he slngs brick through
window in the hopes Of getting a good be-
: and few days board ut the county Jail. t.
sentence him to five days hard labor on tn
road.
q When young man tries for three min
. utes, in church, to brush a sunbeam off hi
/ coat, under the impression that it is strea
Z OF dust, and then looks up ;and seesm prett
= girl laughing at him, he kind of loses til
!. thread of the sermon, temporarily, as
!. were.
c Due unto others as you would have then
due to you.
Tu Due, king Of AMMAN, is dead, and Phi
Due takes the throne. There will be few
ducks more after him.
Mississippi Democrats cry for Ti!den an
= Lamar. So do babies cry for the moon.
\ Babies IN Scandinavia are swathed int
|. bundles and hung from long, sprlngy pole
a suck into the walls. Good idea. The
e can't yell any more than they do, anyway,
q A Philadelphia girl owns pet dog ths
a eats ice cream. And yet she wonders VIII
J. she can't get beau.
# There is said to be glut in the water
Is melon market. This is good news for tn
IL doctors
A Boston minister recently preached o
the subject, when arc men fools, an
why ~ Only women folks are competer
to discuss this quest on in all its bearings.
New Orleans talks Of getting up g gran
n operate and dramatic festival during Ii
lie cotton exposition. Way the Cincinnati pee
ir Pile ought to do Get a hog crowd Their
e. and then treat em to a concert.
" The most dignifed and pious citizen VIII
he ever denounced the national game, will max
~ home run if he is caught out in the raj
10 without an umbrella.
It A Massachusetts man has dozen dffe
a, ent suits, but they are all suits 81 law.
IS The Buffalo Express says that had Cal
10 tain Webb succeeded in his undertaking |
nj "Sould have cheapened Niagara" Perhal
b, he might, but hack fares would have bee
y just the same.
A man whose wife for thirty-five years HI
beel unable 10 speak above whisper, callC
in a magnetic physician to see her. II
at woman now has voice like a fog hor
lis nd her spouse is out canning for the docto
-, IN Tell you what, they ought to forbid a ma
I'd TO marry his mo,her-in.law, and he'd be su
he to fall in love with her.
What is that fisherman doing? Is
christening the boat Oh no, my son
made mistake and drank out of the mi
bottle.
When lot OF belligerent Irishmen conde
cend to have confab, they very seldom ci
culate the pipe OF peace, but they do som
times pass arounda piece Of pipe.
Anything for ch,nge!" as the unfo
the BARRIERS chair and found that he HI
nothing but lottery ticket and q suspend
button in his pocket.
MaI,IEnl anl SnIllh A fEica Siin q,