Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1883-12-14


william kissed each other when they parted
Ugh! And both of 'em chew tobacco!
GAIL HAMILTON loves to tell the young people
all about the comet of 1872, and how sight OF
It impressed her and her young lady friends
A CHICAGO lunatic imagines that he Is Oscar
Wilde. Some kind and sympathetic friend
should kill him and put him ont Of bis misery
THERE is a common, plebeian mule here IN
B;.m.rck that can knock sullivan out of time
in one round and stand facing in another direc-
tion.
An Arkansas editor has been abducted by
ho1d. had female woman. His friends scout the
idea that he is held for a ransom, and fear the
worst.
A MOBILE man shot the tip of his wite's
tongue off the other day. As soon as it recoVers
sufficiently to permit it she wants to speak to
him moment.
The St. Paul Dispatch says: "Hjalmar Hjorth
Boyeson HAS written play for Mjadls]on
siouare Theatre. Its production is anxjiously
awaited" '.j".sus!
An exchange says that Sarah Bernhardt is
growing 80 thin that her clothes won't tit her,
An occasional blowing up from her Ehuspano
might remedy matters.
III An Indianapolis man has sued neignpor 1or
$4,000 for the seduction of his wife. Inese
figures are little high, but she was firat class
wife and warranted sound, kind and GENTLE
FIRST railroad man: "How many children
have YOU now?" Second R. NJ: "Thirteen" !"
First R. NJ: "Goodness! think it is about time
Won put on the heir brakes" Stanley huntley'
An Ohio thief was killed few. days since, and
che wife he left is described as beautiful, ana
having the carriage of q lady of culture he
probably stole the carriage from the lady men
toned.
THE Boston Globe says: "The short, plthy'
nunpent paragraph is one of the best products
Of American Journalism" and the editor Of that
naner belongs to church and daren't lie in pub
lie way.
croRar AUGUSTUS SALA has mixture or
Brazilian, Portuguese, Polish and Italian blood
in his veins. He has so many national holidays
+o oe,ebrate that he is never entirely free from
q headache.
punADE1pH1 CALL: An artist in Egypt is
pho.ographing mummies. All ne has TO 90 iS
to lean them against post, take out MS "atcn'
circulate "Now look pleasant" and IN i've sec
onds the thing is done.
HAYES friends evince disposition to again
boom him for the presidency. They have sub
sidized number of Ohio newspapers and are
circulating the announcement that 10 ID tne
boss COW mixer of his voting precinct.
In official documents President Arthur says
.sthe United States are" and Secretary Folser
aavs "the United States is." If MIR. Lexlcogra-
nher Tuttle. of Mandan Dak., will agree to act
"A referee. the TRIBUNE will rise up in dlgnl"
fed manner and call these gentlemen to account.
Cu,c.ao TE1EaRAM: The girl from st. Louis
read. ssThere is destiny that shapes our enos'
rouph"- And here she paused and exclaimed:
.Ronuh! Well, I should say 80. Rough is no
name for it. It's just too mean for anytnlng'
and catching up a table cloth she threw 1t over
her feet and burst into tears.
A DASH, a crash-twas awful rash; but the
n.rlor skates upset her.-Cbicago Telegram
sin. q rim. she cut her lip; but next time she'll
do better Richmond Baton. A slide she tried,
the skates are snide; they proved to be tetter'
Waterloo Observer. Ke-bump! A lump
raised on her rump, where the ice emphatic met
her. rt
Hrs Matte was q pretty girl,
As fair a. one could be;
ssl.- And every time he made call,
-'+.'o .e''>> '- Merchant Traveller.
After the matinee, It's said,
The osculating gormands,
~. alued fast their lips and went ahead
With the regular performance.
DeAKR,s TRAVELLERS MAGAZINE says: 1.-The
much.abuse and much-talked- about newsboys
are. a. class q very gentlemanly set OF Fellows.
and IRE really necessity to the travelling pub
,;c.,, This is only blind on Huntley's part He
:. ande.vorine to inspire some certain newsboy
18th confidence 30 he can get him close enough
4o oct : good short-range kick at him.
aArorHER old pioneer gone" said man,
A 70 lunch counter he strsyed,
A,,a .roka to Z friend of a comrade who had,
meath the cold sod been recently laid.
y s..ves. isn't it sad?" was the feeling reply,
n. hin hand to his..mouth often few,
4 81 nd .ee the coincidence, (munching . pie,)