Morning journal and courier., 1883-04-12
FORBIDDEN.

The Queens knee, at latest acco unts, is little better, but her physicians have forbid den her most gracious majesty to play foot ball. Burlington Hawkeye. Man seen on Jersey City roof every nigh with 8 lantern inspectinga @ barrel. Curious neighbors inspect the barrel also. Find noth ing in it. Man much pleased with success ol joke. Neighbors correspondingly mad Boston Post.
 Elves minutes walk to kirk
 Makes her sick.its awful work = And that is why she seldom needs the bell, But let her young man call And invite her to ball.
 You never saw girl so streng and well.
 The delightful French galIantry of the oldeu times has not yet flown from earth. A beautiful rosebad of girl is walking up the drawing room leaning on the arm of her father. s'What, mademoiselle," says gen. tleman of the old school, ''do you walk :! Bless me, thought you were on a stem"'- From the French.
 A young lawyer. " ith his first case, went into Judge Hagner's court the other day to present petition. He was so embarrassed that he forgot to remove his hat, and stood before the judge with petition in his hand, a big green umbrella under his arm and 8 new silk hat upon his head. In a trembling voice he began: Your petitioner respect fully represents-" when Judge Hagner 5tOpp6U " dlL u uOm6uG, Sh1A bA0 judge hadn't you better raise your um- brella, Washington Letter.
 A certain eminent temperance lecturer was setting forth most awful portraiture of old King Alcohol, when a muzzy-looking brother arose in corner of the hall and ob served, ''I like t ask the gen'lm'n n qussun. /" Certainly, my friend" said the urbane speaker, 'by all means" "I wish t inquire of the gen'Fm'n he's ever been tight" ( A1,a x,o,,Rr sponse; "this brain has never been muddled with the accursed thing" Once more the muzzy one spoke. Then don't the gen'l seem to use great f'miliarity bout an entire stranger $ long's he haint been introduced?"
 ''Can you tell me how long this fly has been in this soup?' was asked of a negro waiter at restaurant. |" I doan' know 'zackly, boss. He was dar when de soup was warmed ober, but de question of 'rithmetic comes in, sah, in caleulatin' how many times it hab been warmed" Why don't you take the flies out of the soup?" Wall, you see de man what tends ter dat business is sick. tried to discharge his duties, but wid my udder work found dat as fast as could take out one fly anudder would drap in, so quit. What is your other work :? D q Waitin' on de table an separating de bugs from de hash, sah. "-Arkansas Traveller.
 To the poor Indian, with untutored mind,
 Not knowing chopping and with one eye blind,
 Appeals now for an eye of vitreous make,
 To show him well the course his ax should take;
 An eye of brown, to charm the giddy squaws
 And read in leisure hours the white man's laws;
 An eye to search the bogus nickle's coat
 And hold in check the vicious William goat
 An eye to the farmers column OCT
 And learn of blocded bull and perfect boar;
 An eye to measure hre-water's height
 And pierce the darkness of a moonless night;
 An eye, in short to be put in out,
 Or left, If need be, in his unc!e's spout E This little gift noble Blue Horse craves,
 For. To he's not among the lazy braves
 Louisville Courier Journal,