The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-03-15
QUITS.

@Arrayed in the costume of Worth.
Puck.
QUITS.
A Commercial Travellers Tale.
Old commercial travellers will tell you
that in many respects the profession is
nothing to what it. was; though for our
own part we are inclined to think that
in many respects the profession has i'm
proved. The penny postage, the tele-
graph, the enormous expansion of the
railway system, have wrought such
changes in the mode of doing business
between town and country, that in the
commercial rooms of country-town inns
where, in the ..good old days." a score
of gentlemen would have assembled of
nm evening, one nowadays meets but two
or three. Much of its old character,
also, has departed. Before the era of
railways, when men and horses might
be detained at an inn for days.by stress
of weather or badness of roads, jollity
and free-and:easiness were a very pre-
vailing characteristic of the commercial
traveller; and the reckless jollity of the
fraternity-for a fraternity it was, 81
most masonic in the rigidity of its rites
and the exactness of its etiquette
passed into a proverb.
But TO our story. There happened to
be a snug party of commercial gentle
men assembled in the commercial room
of an inn in one of our quaint South
country towns, one winter evening a
few years ago. The cloth had been re-
moved from the table, the customary
toasts had been duly honored, and the
company, some half dozen in number,
had drawn their chairs round the fire,
lit their pipes. and each with his glass of
grog at his elbow had evidently made
up his mind to be as comfortable and as
cosy as possible.
The conversation was being monopo-
lized by Mr.. Hicks, a vulgar, puffy
faced, bald-headed man, with a large ex-
panse of shirt-front and much ostenta-
tious jewelry, who was standing with his
back to the fire, his hands tucked under
his coat-tails in the orthodox British
fashion. The other men, who were all
younger, were listening with the respect
due to a representative of the old school
of commercials, hazarding occasionally
an approving remark. dutifully laughing
vt every joke, but in no way interfering
with the great mans periods.
ssAhr'rhe said, wrinkling his fat brow
into a series of parallel creases, and gaz-
..traveling amt what it was. There
amt nc fun nowadays. You young gents
don't know what it means. for railways
have knocked it all on the ed. 1t was
something, 1 can tell you, to turn out of
a arm bed at four o'clock of a winters
morning and jump into the trap for a
twenty-mile round before breakfast, so
that the Imposition shouldn't get a start
of you. Nowadays you Jump into your
train with your hulsters, and your wraps.
and your mornin' paper, and you take
your time owe matters IS comfortable as
can be. You don't seem to have the
spirit we had, thoughwe worked and we
had fun. too, 1 can tell you. You work;
but you don't seem to have no time for
fun"
sin what way do you mean, sirp''
asked the boldest of the audience.
"What wayp" repeated the great man.
''Why, 1 mean the lodges and larks we
was up to-"
''What sort of lodges and larks?''
asked the other.
20, all sorts!p replied the old gentle.
man. There's so much humbuggin'
etiquette about nowadays. It's what
you call bad form for a gent to. play a
trick upon another. I've known ali sorts
o. things done. They used to hocus one
another's drinks, SO as to make the
Imposition sleep 'eavy the next morn.
ing; lock their doors on the out,
side; change their boots; tell the
boots not to wake 'em until it was
too late to do anything; and as we used
to ave rather wet nights in those days. ]
can tell you some of us required g
power o. sleep to shake of the effects,
1t was considered fair and a~bove-board
to steal a march in any way upon a gem
who was working in the same line; and
there was much more Imposition then,
although there may be more competition
now; because, you see, such a lots done
by post and wire in these days. Why,
look at me; I 'aven't been here for two
years or more; but l know that when ]
go round tomorrow to sec how the
other travellers been gettin' on, l shall
get just as many orders as if I'd beer
regular all that time. Not that all my
customers will know me; but they know
the name of the firm-Hooker & Smoker
of Dowgate 'ill-and that's quite
enough for EN-"
.And were you aver tricked in an,
of the ways you d~escribe?" asked an
other young commercial.
.'Mep me trickedp Not me. JOSEPH
ticks was always too wide awake. No
/ was never canght," replied the grea
man. 81 once caught a fellow in tn
hact of taking a linch-pin out of my
gig; but l soon stopped his game, I car
tell you. That was at Charing-no
Charing in London, but Charing be
tween Canterbury and Maidstone"
sand did you ever play any trick
yourselfP" asked the first young ma
who had spoken.
Mr.. Hicks slowly turned himself to
wards the speaker, and, winking his ey'
several times, replied: 81 should jus
about think l did-many and many
one. And now you remind me, I'll jus
tell you about one played."'
Mr.. Hicks, having toasted himself t
his entire satisfaction, now condo
scended to let some of his companion
see what the fire was like, settled him
self slowly and ponderously down int
the chair which by prescriptive RICH
belonged to the senior traveller in tn
room, took a long sip at his grog, and
with apreliminary clearing of the throat
began.
at was in forty-two, and it strang
thing, but it was in this very identities
place. There was a cocky, stuck-u
young fellow of the name of Brownsmit
~traveIin' for Stokes & Nokes, Grea
Tower Street, in the same line as mine
He admit been ere afore, and didn'
know who 1 was, so l says to myself
I'll Just take a rise out O. you, my youni
popinjay; seeif l don't"