Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-03-02
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Tho sad-eyed poet sings and signs
because there are no birds in last year's
nests. Such man would howl for the
banana in the peel OF the past.-M o.
PtcGyune.
"A Philadelphia man who wants 20
die, but doesn't want to disgrace his
friends by committing suicide. has en-
gagged fifth-story room in hotel and
isawaiting his fate. philadelphia Chron-
tcic-Hcraid.
-SunilOwer leaves are now used in
the manufacture Of cigars. IL they have
an @sthetieising effect on man itshows
itselfvery singularly in his discourse after
he has tried to smoke --SomerUiIIe
Journal
India rubber Is now adulterated with
,pulyerized cork. and il has got so that
you cant tell n dealer in gum shoes 10
cork up without his getting as red in the
face ~ an Italian sunset.-BOSton Trans
,cript.
MARY Jane" said Dickey. isn't
this weather too cold for potatoes?"
''Dickey," said Mary Jane. lit ism tcold
that takes of the potatoes; IL 5 consump-
ton" 20" said Dickey, II never lived
VII ~ -IOttlteT-UOfffTlNf.
Nothing is better calculated to de.
stroy mans equanimity than to have
lady walk up TO him while he is linger.
ing neara fruit-stand and offer him two
cents for an apple, when in reality he is
only waiting for n horse-car to come
along. PUCK. NJ
"A poem in the Cambridge Tribune
begins: "Am well or unwell? Am
living at alp" After looking the stuff
through, the reader is bound TO conclude
that the writer was decidedly unwell.
and II is very doubtful il by this time he
is "living at ALL" He wouldn't be IL his
identity were known.-LoloeH Citizen.
An exchange announces in a tone
of surprise: "The Car and Czarine
have been dancing at a ball" There
doesn't seem TO be anything out of the
way in such conduct. This is what balls
are for. Now. IL they had danced at =
prayer-meeting. comment would have
been'in order.-NorriStOIon Herald
Ills the lady of the house imp asked
tramp Of the servant who rang the
door-bell of one of the stateliest mansions
in Austin. "De lady oh de house dNn,t
come to de door TO talk wild de like OBJ
you" Then" said the tramp, elevat-
ing the remnant of hat, with grace
CHESTERFIELD might have envied. ''tell the
lady OF the house gentleman wishes to
speak with her in the parlor. "-7erGs
SUlm9S. Ifttt W
Lime Kiln philosophy apropos OF
the death of Elder Spooner: ''He was
honest, an darfore poo. He was con-
.scienshus,, and darfore ragged. He was
fully OF mercy, an pity. an sympathy,
an darfore had the reputation of betn'
weak in de second story, / doan' ad.
wise anyman 10 be wicked. but desire 70
carelessly remark dat de real good man
who am obleeged to turn his paper col
lars am Stunned by society and lafied al
by De world. y Detroit Free Press.
job Smith. assistant keeper OF the
Highland lights at Navaslnk, N. j.,
being imprisoned alone in the building
by snow storm. attempted TO thaw oui
the lard-Oil pipes of the lights with an
alcohol hambeau, and was nearly burned
Co death by the flaming alcohol. He ran
out Of the house all ablaze, and saved
himself by diving into the snow. although
he was terribly burned. He attended
the lights until daylight and then sig.
nailed to the village at the foot Of tn,
hill for aid, when the regular keepel
came to his relief. He will be mark Z
for life. but his condition Is not considered
critical.