The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1883-08-02


told the credulous IN. Pickwick"
he had never seen dead donkey
or a dead post-boy, and that when
it came time for them to quit this
world the post-boy mounted the
donkey and they rode off to spirit
land together. Laughter. I sup
pose the boy who kills himself with
hard study disappears in some mys-
tcrious way. Perhaps his class
mates do with him as the British
soldiers did with Sir John Moore:
"They buried him darkly at the dead Of
night
The sod with their bayonets turning"
Or perhaps they took the advice
of Max Adeler, the obituary poet,
who sang:
go bury Bartholomew out in the woods,
In beautiful hole In the ground;
Where the woodpecker sings and the bum
blebee huns,
And the straddle bugs tumble aronnd."
rGreat laughter.
No, my dear boys, as much as
we love you, we are willing for you
to incur the risk of too much ap-
plication. Now, don't make the
mistake of thinking that the mas
terry of the college studies, which
are simply the keys to the under
standing, are the object Of educa-
ton. They are nothing Of the sort.
I have known men who after they
had left college had become so
thoroughly imbued with their col
lege studies, that they thought
nothing more worthy of their atten-
ton than to construe some difficult
passage in the classics or to solve
some abtruse problem Of mathemat-
les. Take the advice Of DR.. Nc
Gosh, the old Scotch President of
Princeton College, "Make your
studies first circumferential, then
centrical. Travel diligently around
the curriculum in college, and then
concentrate your energies on the
profession or the occupation by
which you will make your bread
and butter. And now, young gen.
tlemen, let me give you what the
Bailiff in Kerry Cow calls "a word
in sayson.'' Don't smoke. Don't
chew. Don't bet on any thing.
And above all, don't drink. Ap-
plause. You are going away from
home for the first time. Parental
authority will be left behind; but
ah, how the anxiety of the manly
father, who maybe is denying him
self and the rest Of the family, to
give his boy, Of whom he is so
proud, a college education, how
lit will 60 out to you; and the pray
ers of that dear mother, who nursed
you when you were little mewling
baby, and whose life is long con-
secrated sacrifice; to you, how
they will follow you. Have the
manhood to say no. "My son,
when sinners entice thee, consent
thou not.'' This is the wisdom Of
Solomon. Avoid a bar-room as
you would the smallpox. Smoking
is not so bad, but it is bad enough.
A boy don't have to smoke to be-
come a man. I see little fellows
not much taller than quart pot,
going about smoking cigarettes,
and befouling the pure air Of
Heaven with their cheap abomina-
tions. Laughter. Ridiculous lit
tie creatures. The bare exertion of
suction keeps the diminutive smoker
as thin as a batter cake. Tobacco
is very hurtful to youth, especially
in the form of cigarettes. If you
must smoke, wait until you are
men, and then if you are unlucky
enough to get tempestuous COM
panion for life, you can smoke while
she storms, and you can say with
Jupiter "Juno, try the weed"
Laughter.
This last thought reminds me
while you are in college your spare
time had best be devoted largely to
the society Of nice young ladies.
It will do you good, and unless
they have changed very recently, it
will do them good. Laughter.
And besides the prescription is
very pleasant-no i'll effect unless
taken in too large quantities. The
best boys i ever knew were fond OF
the girls, and the best men are fond
of the ladies. A young gentleman
who associates habitually with the
good girls, is not likely to do any
thing very mean. The boys who
do the meanness are those who sit