Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-20
THE BOTTLE IMP.
A Voice Speaks from Within
Mammoth Champagne Bottle,
And Gives Points on the Ins and Outs
Of the Peramb ulating AdVer-
tising Business.
New York Sim.


The gilded neck of contrivancc fashioned
in the sinilitude of champagne bottle tow
cred above the heads of the throng in Sixth
avenue. A pair of legs protluded from the
bottom. Half way up, on the side which
faced in the direction of its progress, was &
small opening, with grating across it.
Stepping alongside the reporter raped near
the grating.
tones from within.
and was spoken.
"What do you want?" said the voice.
'Want to ask how you like this thing"
Tho bottle became communicative, and as
it toddled along up the avenue the voice
said: ut all depends on the weather. A man
as understands the business will accommodate
himself to the seasons. He will tote ban
ncr, Or may be- carry Il lettered umbrella or
wear a painted linen duster during the
heated term take to boards when the
season of raw northeast winds comes
on, and 60 into bottle for the
winter. Boards is better than banners in
cold weather. The wind always blows up or
down the street, so a feller is pretty well
protected most of tho time. When he comes
i
across pretty sharp, he can walk edgeways,
and protect himself. But in right-down cold
weather bottle is as much bettor than
boards rs doublc-brcasted beaver overcoat
Is better than liver pad.
"Ihcn, again, in hot weather, no man as
knows himself will go intoa bottle, unless he
happens to he chap as has seen good deal
better days, and don't want to be recognized
by his friends. Take ward politician in re-
duced circumstances f'rinstance-he don't
want to be seen carrying a banneror between
boards; so he is g lad enough to go into bottle
for the heated term. Then there is once
in a whilc IA chap as has reasons for sort o
keeping cut of view, you know, and he is
ready for bottle any time in the year.
am telling no names, but | knew party
what Kept away from the police for month
or more, till they got or his track by doing
the bottle act. He used to toddle along
the avenue, right by the side of the detec-
tives who was looking for him. He wasn't
any OF your poverty stricken sort, but lived
like fighting cock-carred a bottle of the
best old stuff ii his coat pocket, lunched on
boneI sardincs when he was lOafng along,
and smoked real Havanas. The smoke' Oh
that was all right. He blew it out Of the
lookout, and if anybody saw it, they thought
it just curlcd up from the cigar Of somebody
else who "as passing.
'We amt all so toney as this chap was"
the voice went on" but we manage to have
good many comforts. My cupboard amt
very rcplete with luxures but can offer
you hunk Of gingerbread, half sandwich
and clay pipe of tobacco Generally
speaking, it amt safe to light a pipe til dusk,
ard then you have to be careful when you
light mp, and to hold your hand over the
bowl when you smoke. But the neck of tho
bottle holds the smoke in, and you can snuff
1t up half a dozen times before it gets ont.
Heavy" the voice said, in response to an
inquiry. 'Not very. You see this thing is
maze of a sort Of oil-c,oth over a skeleton
like a hoop skirt The whole business don't
weigh mach more than an ulster For
rainy day there amt nothing like it. No
matter how hard it pours you're dry as
husk. Another advantage of being in n
bottle when the weather is suitable is that
you can so against tho wind about as good
a5 with lt-~prcscntS a smooth and roun ling
surface and you don't get blown all over the
sidewalk as you do with big fiat boards.
"Oh little is gooi enough for me till next
May" said t e voice at parting. Come
around and call again during the winter. If
l don't recognize your knock, just sin, out,
auu shall know your voice