The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1883-07-13

affectionatc, but felt, with sinking
heart, that he was not the SAM, thai
the warmth OF his love was less thar
the warmth OF its expression. And
once again | saw that terrible look oI
sorrow, regret, as he gazed at Annie
and my resolution was taken.
suppose the first terrible shock
had broken the force of my discovery,
for the calamity affected me less Sc.
verely than the doubt. l was rational
now, and could understand my posi-.
ton. saw its difficulties and its
dangers, and wanted TO work my way
clearly through them to the end
must not marry Stephen, that was Ger
tain, and | must tell him so myself.
My own affection was my greatest
danger | felt l must show no relent.
ing, no lingering tenderness. l must
build up a barrier between us at
least around my own heart | must put
strong wall of separation through
which no sound of grief could pass.
His, alas would open so readily to
the new love as to need no defense
from the old. | would be brave-I
would But my sorrow lay heavy
upon me the air OF the house suffoca-
ted me, the dear voices seemed mock
ing voices, tormenting me. l went
out amid the trees for rest and
strength. went up the fr-tree
avenue TO the fountain. The sun
shons, the birds sang, the water spark
led-all around me was joy and beauty,
and in my heart was a desolation az of
death.
L had dreamed beautiful dream.
Oh, that ] could dream little longer
my awakening was all too soon.
lay still, wooing back the beautiful
dream; but its thread had been broken.
| was sad unto bitterness, but my will
was strong to do right and to bear my
grief silently.
1t wanted four days to my wedding
day. | must act promptly. I nerved
myself to my great trial. loved
Stephen more than ever, and felt that
to make him happy could lay down
my life, or, what then seemed to be
the harder fate, live without his love.
AS | left the breakfast room mother
said: "Come back soon, dear this day
week we shall be without you, 30 we
want as much of your company as pos
sible."
| went into the dining room; the
mellow autumn sun streamed upon the
grinning goblin faces on the high
mantel piece, and l turned from them
they seemed to mock me.
Stephen came soon. l said, as he
entered, "Stephen, have something
OF Importance to say to you"
His face grew pale; he was about to
speak, when said quickly:
''Listen to me for one moment"
To my own ear my voice sounded
dismally hollow, but by great effort
| spoke calmly
"Stephen, love you dearly. l love
you far too well to cause you one re.
gret, or to cloud your life with one
shade of sorrow. have felt proud
and happy in the thought of becoming
your wife. But l am not so now. |
must have the whole heart of my hls-
band / could not be content with
his esteem and affection. You have
changed, Stephen l do not blame you
that it is so, but must not shut my
eyes to the consequences of such
change | must not bring sorrow
upon you and remorse upon myself, so
l say from my heart, let us bury the
past and be friends, only good friends,
for the future"
Sarah, have pity!' he said.
81 have pity" | resumed-"pity for
myself, and pity for you l am saving
us both from misery in the future"
~ love you earnestly, soberly!" he
replied, sadly. 81 have always loved
you! If once or twice my fancy has
changed, pardon me, Sarah! 1t will
not do so again. l have resisted the
temptation. Forget and forgive {!
Our wedding day is very near. / will
love you faithfully, and guard you
with husbands fondest care! !"
"Stephen," / continued, "your heart
is Geld to me still. You would wreck
your own happiness to try and insure
mine, and to keep plighted troth.
Take back that troth-be free! Go;
live where you will, and be happy 1t
would break my heart to be your bride
now! / could not live to be coldly
loved! must be the joy of my hus-
band, not the cloud that shadows his
life -
Sarah he began.
"Hush |" / said. II will tell yoa
all. have looked into your eyes and
read there what you had not the cou-
rage to read in your. own heart.
have read there that you love another.
Your heart was never wholly mine,
and now it is not your own; 1t has
gone from you to Annie"
His face was blanched his strong
hand, that rested on the back of a
chair, trembled.
clear me, for Heavens sakew he
cried. 81 have never spoken a word
of love to Annie Her sorrow, hel
beauty, her childishness touched me
but that is past. We will see her nc
more, and you shall be rs happy as you
ever dreamed!'
"Never" ! said, fiercely; for fel,
that he was not thoroughly frank with
me; that his love for me was weak
and that he was only maintaining az
engagement for the sake of his honor
-"never! Oar engagement is at az
end We will go our separate ways
Heaven grant that yours may be Q
happy one!"
And | turned to leave the room.
"Pause-consider! he cried.
II have considered NY decision
cannot be changed. l will tell m,
mother. Bless you, Stephen, you shall
always be my best friend"
offered him my hand.
BLESS you, he replied, and kissed m,
hand.
That kiss made me shiver, it was 81
cold.
AS | went mp to my room l met An
ME.
Il