davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
Guarding Garfald,s Grave.

No one, says the Cleveland PENN
iToSS, is allowed to approach within 100
yards of Gariield's tomb after nightfall
until they have been identified by the
guard who still PAGES ceaselessly back
and forth every hour day and night, ex-
cept in stormy weather, when he sits at
an open window in little guard-house
that stands Just across the road and two
or three rods from the vault, in front of
which light must be kept burning.
For this guard duty the government de-
tails twelve men and an officer from the
regular army, all of whom are within
call, and three beside the one on sentry
duty are constantly within the little
guard house. These, armed with the
breech-loading Springfield rifles, and
with l,SO0 pounds of ammunition, are
impressed with the belief that it would
take a whole regiment of ghosts and
ghoulS TO steal from their atTectionatc
care Gartield'S sacred remains. That
there are dastardly wretches who would
steal the bones of a martyr for paltry
ransom, is proved by the attempt to Sc
cure the body while it was yet in the
city vault, and before it had been re-
moved 10 the Schohold private vault,
and shows the precaution a wise one.
These guards will not be removed until
the body safely rests beneath the monu-
ment. The guards are almost essential
to protect the tomb from the re&c tieRds
rs from the ghouls The guards assert
that were it not for their presence, and
the wire screen or fence, which COM
.plotely surrounds the tomb, that the
crowds that visit it would chip OF,
break up and carry away vault, casket
and all rs relics. As il is they break
twigs from adjacent trees, reach through
the wires and pluck blades Of grass,
pick up pebbles or anything else they
can seize upon, placing them in their
pocket-books or wrapping them up care
fully to bear away rs mementos of their
visit. No one is allowed to enter eX-
cept the officer in charge and Mrs. Gar
field and her family She comes from
her home ON Prospect street every week
or two, often bringing some beautiful
floral tribute, the boys or Molle with
her, always sad, but calm and UNI
demonstratyc, Every Sabbath Il bout
/ quet of rarc flowers is sent to the comC-
terry, and the officer in charge enters
the tomb and places them on the coffin,
rs it stands in full view with the side
toward the doors. During the day the
doors stand open, bat ut night they are
closed and securely locked
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
Sound Doctrine.

One of the professors of Princeton
college in his address to the students
called attention TO the fact that there
was too much athletics in the colleges
and not enough brain work. He said
one is impressed with the fact that in
strolling about the colleges of the ceun-
try nothing can be heard about educa-
tfonal matters and the subject of books
seldom enters the minds of the students,
but athletic sports occupy their whole
time and attention. This professor has
struck key note, and called attention
to an evil that should be stopped. A
moderate dose eff athletic sports mixed
in with thorough college education
will not injure the young men who are
graduating from the colleges of the
country, but when the students get the
idea, as they seem to have, that mus
cles like a prize-fghter and hand like
a baseball is all that is essential to
college education, then it is time for
reform. There is no question but that
one-half of the young men in college
think vastly more of cultivating their
muscles than they do of cultivating
their brains, and it is time the colleges
of the country were transformed from
gymnasium into school for cultivating
the intellect. Millions of dollars have
been spent in erecting colleges, and
thousands of dollars are yearly spent in
sending young men to these schools of
learning and keeping them there, to
have them graduate, or leave in few
years with nothing to show for their
time spent in college except knowl-
edge of how to row n boat or play q
game of ball. 1t is seldom one hears
of the progress of the several classes in
the colleges except it be in the line of
boat-racing or winning a game of base
ball, or hazing fellow member, and un-
less there is a reform inaugurated, and
the colleges pay more attention to books
and less to athletic sports, the public
will soon think that the senaing of our
young men to college is a useless piece
of extravaganza. AS it now is there
are more young men from the bottom
of the ladder of mercantile life, and
from the farm, filing the counting
rooms, and the college graduate is
forced to the farm or undergrad to
earn n living. The Princeton professor
is sound and he should be supported in
his theories. -PecbS Sun.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
Illiteracy in the United States.


Mr.. John Eaton said, ut a meeting of
the Union League Club in New York.
the other evening that. though nearly
twenty years had passed since the de-
ciaration of universal freedom, there
were 5,220,8 of the colored popula-
ton, at the age of 10 years and upward.
who could not write, or number equal
to the whole population of the original
thirteen States The illiterate whites
number 2,255, AGO persons, of the same
ages. OF the achievements of religion.
he said the church has a great influence
upon education, but the money invest
ed IN the education of women. bv the
church, was not ono-fiftieth the amou.nt
of money expended for the college edu-
cation of men. Yet if provisions were
made by the church to meet the want it
would be at a cost of S5QS, 600, 900. 1t
would take 10 600, 900 religious papers
TO furnish one to each family. The sit
ting capacity for the Sabbath is 2S,-
10000, but it would require an addi-
tional q, S30,000 to provide accomoda-
tons for the remainder of the popula-
ton. Mr. Eaton said that it was absurd
to expect that the church should take
the responsibility of the education of
our youth. Free education could only
be promoted by the State. In every
State there are liberal provisions for the
education of the people, Yet these adj
Tantages are inadequate. The speaker
said that the people who seemed to
think that Senator Logan's proposition
to make the appropriation for the edu-
cation of the youth of this country
$3.50, ,0O0) was too much money to
be expended were mistaken. Senator
Logan's figures were $50, 600, 900 short.
To prepare the necessary teachers for
the benefit of the population who are
unable to attend school, it would require
Sl1,00O,O00, and the expenses for the
first year would be S110, 900, 1000 In our
cities there is an absence, on an average,
of two-ffths of the school population.
To give to children of South Carolina
the proper advantages for education it
would require q tax Of per cent, upon
the people of that State. In these South
ern states there are 1874, $50 of the
population aged q and upward who
cannot write. In the United States there
are 1873, PIG who cannot write In
twelve States there are more than 100,-
600, and in eleven States alone the Hit
crate voters outnumber the voters OF
ordinary intelligence. The voters of the
two parties in the last Presidential cleo
ton show that, in all but five of the
States in the Union, there were enough
illiterate men to reverse the results OF
the election in each of the States.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
I" Four Of Those

A Cincinnati man with his wife and
two daughters recently went to d restau-
rant after the theatrical performance.
Picking up the bin of fare, largely in
French, and not wishing to show his TO-
norance, he pointed his finger at GER
tain article and ordered the waiter to
bring him ''four of those" The waiter
soon returned, and said: IL guess |
must have made mistake. What was
your orderpn The Cincinnati man
picked up the paper. aud. pointing.
said: "Why, four of those" A look of
wonder and amazement shot across the
walters features. but he said nothing,
and retired. After n delay the head
waiter came in, and, in a polite manner,
said: Il beg your pardon, but the man
who took your order must have made a
mistake. If you viii oblige me by re-
peating it | viii try and serve YOU"
The prominent merchant in a not gem
tie voice, said "Why, hang it, four of
thosel What's the matter with you fell
lows9 You're the most ignorant lot of
walters [ ever sawr' The head waiter.
considerably nonplussed, said; You
certainly don't wish four of thosem
What's the reason | don't? | would
like to know if you are to tell me what
| want" replied the merchant. "Why,
that calls for large macaroni pyramid,
and | don't believe you can get away
with four of them in one sitting re-
torted the waiter, as he started to fill
the order. He was halted and ordered
to bring on a good supper without any
French to it.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

The hair-pin of to-day is no more like
its ancestor than is the enlightened man
of science like the primeyal monkey.
Hair-pins have "evoluted' out of the
eld-fashioned straight wire into various
shapes, sizes, and designs. Most of
them are enameled They are Of vary
ing length. from the gossamer forks
with corrugated limbs, used to hold in
place puffs and curls, to the long pins
required to keep on the big hats whose
broad brims present great temptations
to the wind. They are made by machin-
cry, and are so cheap that the poorest
women may enjoy the greatest variety.
What becomes of the hair-pins? They
drop on floors; they get swept up and
lost; they become bent and useless; they
disappear and are replaced, and great
factories are employed in making them.
In recent divorce case in New York
the wife put in her complaint an allega-
ton that she found n strange hair-pin
on her husbands pillow.-NeU York
Sun.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Hearing that j. NJ Ruth, the man
who was murdered two weeks ago, four
miles west of Byers, was in Denver, n
Nel0s reporter went down To his resi-
dence to interview him. Mr. Ruth is
stopping in a tent, in the grove below
the depot, and was found there by the
scribe, sitting on a cracker-boX and
smoking a pipe
Good day, sir Are you the Mr.
Ruth who owned the wagon found near
Byers?n asked the reporter
Eyes, sir. and understand the papers
here have got lot of Internal"
"Weu, never mind that" broke in
the reporter, ~ didn't come down here
to talk about newspapers. This is not
n press association, sir. What we want
is facts. Who do you suspect of killing
you?'
II don't suspect anybody. of course;
what i'll thunder would / suspect any
body for? /"
Hold up. Don't 90 into the reasons
for suspicion. That II come soon enough.
We've got to take these things ia regu-
lar order, or we never WI get through.
1t is very evident that you never re-
ported for paper. Have you no clue
TO the perpetrators"
"Perpetrator be blowed young fell
low, you're too"
"Now, look here, my friend, you
don't seem to understand that you are
in very delicate position. 1t isn't the
proper thing for corpse to be chasing
around the country and trying to spoil
legitimate items, and the press OF this
city won't stand it. People down at
Byers have been hunting all over the
country. looking for the murderers and
the corpse, and you have spirited the
body up here to Denver, and now you
you who are most interested in mrayel-
ing this mystery TO give us any
clue. tell you, sir, it looks like you
were standing in with your assassins."
About this time Mr.. Ruth's body
stepped around the tent and got a big
club and advanced in the direction Of
the reporter, who was Just starting up
and couldn't stop, but he yelled back:
you can't scare me, sir. I'll have
an inquest on YOU tomorrow; and I'll
bet il is proven that you committed sui
eide to get your life Insurance, and
don't you forget it."--Deauer NeWS.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
Thnrlnw Weedls MnmorY.

a correspondent asked Thurlow Weed
how he accounted for his wonderful
memory, and if he had ever done any
thing to strengthen it, He replied; II
had 20 adopt regular method, and /
hit on one that was very effective. |
will tell you about 1t for the benefit
Of other young men. got married In
1918, when | was working in Albany as
journeyman printer In few months
| went into business, establishing
newspaper for myself, and some of my
friends thought was cut out for poll
itician that is, probably impressed
my views strongly on those about me.
But ! saw at once q fatal weakness
My memory was sieve. ! could re-
member nothing. Dates, names, app
pointm sits, faces@oyery thing escaped
me. | said to my wife. Catherine,
shall never make successful politician,
for ] cannot remember, and that is IA
prime necessity of politicians. A poll
tician who sees man once should re-
member him forever My wife told
me that | must train my memory. So
when ! came home. that night ! sat
down alone and spent fifteen minutes
trying silently 10 recall the events of
the day. | could remember little at
first; now | remember that / could not
then remember what | had for break
fast. Finally / found / could recall
more. Events came back TO me more
infinitely and more accurately
after fortnight or so of this, Cath
crime said, Why don you tell it to meP
II would be interesting, and my interest
in it would stimulate you Then be-
gan habit of oral confession, as it
we're. which followed for almost fifty
years. Every night. the last thing be-
fore retiring, ! told my wife every thing
that could recall that had happened
TO me or about me during the day.
generally recalled the very dishes | had
hod for breakfast. dinner and tea; the
people / had seen. and what they had
said: the editorials / had written, and
an abstract Of them; the letters | had
sent and received, and the very lam
guage used as near rs possible; when |
had walked or ridden every thing, in
short, that had come within my knowl-
edge. found ! could say my lessons
better and better every year, and in
stead Of growing irksome, it got to be a
pleasure to run the events Of the day in
review ] am indebted to this discipline
for memory Of somewhat unusual te-
nacity, and ! recommend the practice
10 all who expect TO have much 10 do
with iu1uenciur men,
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
Couldn't Understand It.

Last week commission house which
does bushes on the Board of Trade for
country dealers, received visit from n
large stranger with highly iLAamed
nose and otherwise decidedly sensational
aspect.
You bought some oats for me
thousand bushels, didn't yer?n
"lf your name is began the head
of the firm.
potts. YES, sir. Potipher Potts. of
Pottsyile, Pott county. You wrote me
on circular that SO would buy "A
thousand bushels of oats and | sent you
the money"
yes" replied the commission man.
"Well, / want the oats.
"The oats have been sold, and there
is a profit Of fifty dollars to your credit
on our books.'
4 "Sold, you sold my oats! What IN
thunder did you do that for? Who told
you to sell my oats?'
you know you didn't have any oats
in reality. The $40 you sent US was
merely for margins. If oats had de-
clined in price you would have lost your
money"
See here, if understand this mat
ter, you bought me "A thousand bushels
of oats for $40, That's what Won said
you would do, and they're worth now
something like $3.50 or 500, and by
the great horned Jumping spoon | want
'em. and / want 'em bad
This conversation occurred early in
the morning. and it took nearly all day
to force the fifty dollars on Mr.. Potts
and get him out Of the Office. 49, Cheek.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
A Woman-Tamer's Experience with q
HomelY Girl.

Mr.. Tibbitts after a long experience
as woman-tamer, determined to at
tach himself only to the homeliest and
most ill-favored waiter-girls he could
find in the beer-halls of Holland. He
did this in Amsterdam, and was happy
in entirely monopolizing one of the
most homely in the entire kingdom. ~
He was very happy with her, on seened
TO be.
But his blissful experience came to a
sudden end. He was discussing with
his friends the advantage of homely girls
who were entirely devoted to you, over
those of more personal beauty, who,
because of their beauty, put Il heavier
value upon themselves.
This girl, said Mr.. Tibbitts, "is en-
tirely devoted to me. deliberately Sc
lected her from this bevy of beauties
and she is so grateful for it that she
would not object to anything | might
do. might grieye her. but such is her
entire absorption in me, that she would
make no sign. She would suffer in sill
encc and live on hope till the effect had
worn off.
Then, to illustrate the complete sub
mission to which he had reduced the
girl, he asked her for another glass of
beer. The girl started for it with alac-
rity born Of love, upon which Mr.. lib
bits winked at another girl, very
pretty one, who came to him promptly.
The young woman-tamer took the
pretty girls hand in his, and was toy
ing with it when the original appeared
with the beer. The homely girl looked
at Mr.. Tibbitts then at the pretty girl,
chen observing where her hand was,
Ind where Mr.. Tibbitts's hand was, ut
tered true womanly hiss, and the
heavy mag described a circle in the air
and descended upon Tibbitts's head,
the beer flowing down his shoulders and
over his coat and vest. The girl, know
ing that she had committed an unpar-
donable sin, tore off her little leathern
bag, made hasty exit from the place
and was seen no more.
And then Mr.. Tibbitts, after a few
moments of apparently deep thought,
remarked that at last ne had found his
mission u shall. said he, picking
bits Of glass from his hair, and wiping
beer from his coat, compile a book
from my own experience for the use tof
young men who may come after me,
which shall christen "The Damfoors
Guide Through a Cold and Unfeeligg
World The following will be the first
two entries:
First A lovely girl entirely devoted
to you will stand anything from you,
except fooling with another girl.
Second Never believe that you
have full control Of any woman They
are extremely impulsive and very illog-
zeal, and whenever they have in their
hands a beer glass, rolling-pin, boot
jack or other offensive weapon. be care
ful to conduct yourself with great pro-
priety when they are within hearing,
seeing, or feeling distance
Il shall continue to add to this book
as time rolls on, which it viii. If live
to be eighty it viii be Of inestimable wall
ne, for if the young fellows Of the next
generation avoid what | shall doubtless
pass through, they viii live very smooth
and even lives. "-T'olelo Biade.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
A Great Hic.orian's Method of Working.

:
Into Mr. Parkman's literary work
shop one is not allowed to enter. but
Mr. FrescottS Intellectual laboratory
has been opened to the public by his
friend and biographer, Mr. George
Iicknor, and he is, perhaps, the only
modern historian whose methods of
work had been made known before the
autobiography of Sir Archibald Alison
appeared and the historian of modern
Europe has told the world how this
work grew into form and cemeliness
under his hand
Some points between these two writ
ers are worth bringing out, and DR..
Prescott shall be first upon the witness
stend. Prescott and Alison were ia al
most equal circumstances, SO far as po-
sition goes. Each deliberately chose Il
literary life, and while the one had In
trinity of sight, and was limited in his
hours of work the other was obliged TO
serve as Sheriff of Lanarkshire in order
that he might increase his daily income.
Prescott laid ont a course of studies
in October 1921. which involved Q)
principles of grammar, correct writing;
GU compendious history Of North Am
erica; (3l fine prose writer's of English,
from Roger Ascham to the present day;
(4 Latin classics one hour a day
French and Italian literature followed,
but German he was not able TO master
choosing Spanish in its place; and here
he struck the field in which hc was TO
find the work of his life On January
10, 1926, he made the following in
his diary; II subscribe to the history of
Ferdinand and Isabella and thence
forward his work was laid out for him.
In May, 1S47, he added TO his original
record "A Fortunate Choice But be-
fore he took up the writing of his his
tory he went through with the follow
ing studies: OD General laws, etc, OF
nations; CD history and constitution of
England; (3) history and government
of other European nations; (D gem
eral history of Spain, and then came
Ferdinand's reign engros. and whatever
concerned such portions Of his subject
as he was Immediately to treat of. II
was three aud one-half years from the
time when he had selected his subject
and begun work upon it that he finally
broke ground with its actual compost
ton on the 9Th of October, 1899
Boston HcrQid
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
How to Get a Gun of Coffee.

A good story Is told Of NJ Greyy, who
is an opicure in coffee. One day, out
hunting, he entered roadside wine
house. "Have you any chicory?n no
asked. Eyes, sir" Bring me some"
The man Of the house returned with q
small can Of chicory. rs that all you
have9n asked the president Of the re-
public. 1--WE have little more"
Bring me the rest;' when he came
with another can Of chicory, NJ. Greyy
said. sYou have no more?h mo, sir"
VERY well; now 20 and make me cup
of coffee ''--L0ad9H Globe.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
As 1t Came Ont.

A man one day came running into a
farmyard and hurridly cried for a spade.
The farmer, coming out, demanded
what he wanted with it, when the man
replied that his friend had stuck IN a
bog and he wanted to dig him out.
GLOW far in is hep" inquired the farmer.
up to the ankles rs that ALP said
the farmer Then he can pull himself
ont again You'll get no spade here.
Scratching bis head, while his face bore
evident signs Of grief. the stranger
blurted out: "Och, but, be jabers he's
ia mead irstr'
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
Ages Of the Worlds Rulers.

The Almanach says that Emperor
William, whose age is Sc, is the oldest
Of the soyereigns, and Alfonsoof Spain,
who was - years old on his last birth
day, the youngest Queen Victoria is
70, the Empress Augusta~7l, the Queen
OF Denmark %, the Empress Of Brazil
80 and the ex-Empress Eugene So.
The Youngest Queens in Europe are the
wife II the King Of Spain. who IS "a,
and the wife Of the King OF Seryia, who
is one year Younger.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Being bound for Texas, two wealthy
brothers, South Carolina planters, got
off the train at Atlanta 70 stretch their
legs. A young man introduced him
self as a son Of one Of their friends.
Was he going TO Texas, too2 Oh, yes,
he was going to Texas. The planters
liked the courtIy manners Of the youth.
One Of the planters entered his ear; the
other brother continued bis walk. The
young man rushed into the car and
said to the first: your brother wants
800, quick" Out came five $50 gold
pieces. Out went tho youth; nor was
he seen again by either Of the brothers
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

A careful father was about entering
his library the other day, when he
heard some one inside indulgiug in
shocking profanity. He listened. and
discovered that the culprit was his n
year-old son. "pll skin him. ha hiss
ed, 10 an undertone, Selling a small
cane and bursting into the library. His
anger quickly vanished, however, when
he discovered his mistake. His son was
mply1eading alondone Of Bret Harte's
dialect poems. = 7he Judgc.