New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-07-25

sion-Were drapeu with smllax; the
nantes banked with cylamen and be-
gonia leaves; the angles Of the apart
ment filed with tall palms and stately
ferns.
Miss Buckley was there, with her vio-
lin and package of music nearly as
large as Saratoga trunk; the ex-gov-5
ernor and his lady were on time, and
the Assistant Bishop of the Cranberry
Swamp Diocese appeared, in 3 red-nosed
and pompous manner, with his cousin,
Mrs. Heatherley, leaning on his arm.
And, as the room began to fill, Mrs.
Jones waxed little nervous.
81 do hope nothing has happened to
the train,' she thought. eff he should
not be here, after all, should feel my
self q social fraud. y
But, as the old Antwerp clock in the.
corner struck ten, there was little bus
tie. the sound of retreating carriage
wheels-Uncle Jones had arrived!
Aud the guests parted right and left,
to admit of the entrance Of q stout old
gentleman in a suit of home-dyed but
ternutrbrown, a pair Of silver spectacles,
very red hands, entirely innocent Of
gloves, and a blue-checked shirt.
.'Well, Niece Jones, said this remark.
able apparition. grasping Mrs. Jones'
pretty, little kid-gloved hands. ''I'm
dreadful glad to make your acquaint-
ance. And this 'ere's Peter, is it?
hain't seen Peter since he was bow"
.'Uncle" said Mrs. Jones, with sort
OF hysteric gasp, ''allow me to present
o you
ooh, yes, see, said Uncle Jones.
Company to tea, CHI? Your servant,
ladies and gentlemen, your servant, y
bowling comprehensivcly around tho
room. 'And SEEM we're all here to-
gether, SO nice and friendly, :" he added,
"I'll jest ask you all to look at a new
kind o. salve as I've took the agency Of
the Electric Agony Eradicator,' only
twenty-five cents q box, and five boxes
for dollar. Business is business, YOU
know, and as make my living this
way, I'm sure my niece and nephew
here won't object to my selling off the
stOck-in-trade to the best advantage be-
fore l leave the country. Perhaps the
company don't know that sail as skip
per of the Lovely Louise next month
up to the NeWfunlan' tishln' banks, and
round by way of Nova Scotia?''
''But, T" gasped Mrs. Jones, 1--WE
thought-that is, we understood
read in the paper, l would say-that
you were to be the ambassador to Chi
ma
"Me!'' said Uncle Jones. 'tNot if 1
know it! Me go to Turin parts, to be
eaten up with chopstlcks or burned alive
by the COOLEST l guess not! P'r'aps it's
John ]. Jones you're thinking about.
He's from the same place as ana
great friend of the administration-an
I've heerd as he's got plump office
from the big-bugs at Washington. I'm
John J. Jones-Jacob, you know, AFTER
my great-gran' ther, as was in the black
smithy bus mes. Oh, l ain t no Chinese
ambassador! I'm only a salve-manufac-
turer. It's dreadful good for frosted
feet an ears, the Electric Agony Era
dicator' is and p'r'aps may have o
good chance to sell few gross of boxes
on board the Lovely Louise, il it's q
middlin' cold trip.
Poor Mrs. Jones stood aghast as the
distinguished guest of the evening circu-
lated around amid the perfumed groups
with his agony Eradicator,'' selling
off the precious panacea with great sue
cess.
Mrs.. Heatherley giggled audibly; the
Assistant Bishop elevated his Roman
nose with an air of superciliousness;
the fair violinist laid down her bow,
and only the instant announcement
of supper would have prevented gem
eral dissolution of this social parlia-
ment.
Uncle Jones ate as if he were q starved
wolf, and then drank as if he had been
transformed into a fish; and finally fell
asleep on q sofa in the corner and snOr-
ed aloud, with his pocket full of s'salve-
boxes" and handkerchief over his
face.
He went home the next day. The
Cherry Hill Joneses did not urge him to
stay longer; and Mrs. Heatherley call
ed to condolo with Mrs. Jones in per-
son.
"Itmust have been SO Notifying to the
poor thing!' said she, with simulated
sympathy.
But Mrs. Jones did not see her. She
was crying in her own room. and sent
down message of ''Not at home.''
II don't care how soon we leave
Cherry HILL" she sobbed. II never
can look any one in the face again. I
never was SO ashamed in all my life!
And if ever any one mentions the
name China, or the Chinese, in nv
presence again, I'll commit suicide, that
/ will"
For Mrs. Jones' party had not been :
success.