The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-03-23

Losing 1nfoo 0eDs
A tipsy fellow in . Yreka. California,
saloon walked up to 8 big buriy miner
one night. and, without Saving . word,
pulled the miners nose. The miner re-
sented the insult by curling the little
fellow up under o billiard table BY q
blow from his slege-hammer fist He
came from under the table with broad
grin on, his face and his acguiline nose,
slightly out of plumb, remarking: 'That
was the first time ever vieweda billiard
table from that position" In about five.
minutes he walked up to the miner and
pulled his nose the second time. The
miners arm shot out like lightning and
the nose-puller was waited over a card
table against red-hot stove. When he.
regained his feet he winked with the eye
that wasn't hurt, and said: ''That was a
regular bungstarter" The third time
he pulled the miners nose they had to
throw water in his face to bring him to
his senses, if he had any.
Shortly after the little fellows depart.
ure, Colonel Stone came into the saloon.
looking as solemn as though he had lost
a wife or a hot toddy. The Colonel
parted his coat-tail deliberately before
the stove and asked whether there had
been a fight there. He was informed OF
the fracas that had Just occurred and the,
mysterious actions OF the little fellow
who insisted upon keeping other peoples
noses clean were soon made clear by the
Colonel in this brief manner:
Last Monday" said the Colonel, ga
To- Ia nlarv I'M tn boil
on the Klamath reservation applied TO-
me for situation as hOstler. All he
wanted was his board, mind you. and he
has been with me three days. and is one
hundred and fifty dollars ahead of me.
The first day one of the horses was taken
lame, and he said he wanted some xxx
horse liniment to put on the animals.
limb. At the time was standing in the
stable door. and he was washing the
buggy in the alley. l told him there
was bottle of liniment above the granary
door, He said there wasn't drop Of
liniment in the stable. glanced
around and saw the bottle that had
placed above the door just the day before
he commenced work. 1t was half full.
told him so. Then he commenced to,
get angry. and said he guessed he knew
what was around the stable and whit
was not, and he'd bet fifty dollars there
wasn't any horse liniment in the stable.
Thinks l to myself, I'll take the conceit
out of that smart Aleck, and put fifty
dollars in sight. and he covered IT. /
got down the bottle. 1t was empty. The
cussed fool had painted the lower half
of it black. He said that no always
painted stable bottles that way, and he
pocketed the coin. He had used all the
IMMINENT that morning.
yesterday afternoon went out to-
the stable and found the hostler looking
intently at two pigeons on the roof. [
asked him whether those pigeons had
any particular fascination for him. He
said they hadn't, only he was wondering
which would fly first. We gaed at them
alb ,ut q minute. when he said that he
would bet fifty dollars that the one on
the north end of the barn would fly first.
l took him up, knowing it was no horse
medicine bet, as stood as good a chance
of winning as he did. The stakes were
no sooner laid on the fence-post than his
pigeon ilew. left immediately for home,
mad Ter than wet hen. and Just one
hundred dollars out of pocket on the
phlanthropic hostler who worked for
his board.
al got to studying the matter over,
and l went back to the stable. The
;philanthropist was not TO be seen about
the premises. I climbed up ia the. nay
NOW. One look at the hole in the roof,
and 4 string dangling from the rafters
with a few pigeon feathers on it satisfied
me that l had taken another dose OF
horse medicine. This evening. when j
went to the barn l found the new hOstler
looking very gloomy. He looked as
though his conscience was troubling him,
and l thought he would tighten his
burden OF remorse by giving me back
the money he had swindled me out of.
Saws l, 'Zack, what's the matter"
"I feel as though something dread
full was going to happen to me, and it
will be sure to strike before morning.
Il really felt sorry tor the fellow, and
tried to cheer him up.
:. Its no use, Colonel. I'll bet fifty
dollars that get knocked down three
times before morning, and perhaps some
thing worse
81 SAYS: 'Put up your com. and as
he deposited two twenties and a ten in
the hands of Bill Sykes. who happened
to be passing by, he looked more cheer
full.
81 commenced to think the fellow had
a mania for betting and hardly knew
what he was about. knew that he was
a very peaceable fellow. having seen him
take all manner of insults from the
FOUNDERS when he first strnck the town.
''Well, guess YOU fellows know the
rest. just met SYKES few minutes
ago. and he said he had just turned over
the stakes to lack on the strength of
dislocated neck. a black eye and a two
inch cut on his forehead. Tomorrow
lack will get his papers. I'm down on
cheap labor, anyhow. Come up, boys
and take small ibation with me. y
Galveston NetCs.