Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1883-09-07

VOL. XII.
I THE Weather at o:%6 Last Night.
Bismarck-Cloudy; thermometer, 49
Mo9rheadmCloudy; i" 60
NEWS COMMENTS.
e4'3 Hna is the richest Chinaman in America
and che homeliest one.
GEN. Sheridan and the new two-cert stamp
will begin their duties on the same day.
A CANADIAN Judge has decided that man has
the right to whip his wife if he is real sure she
deserves it.
London has q society woman 70 years old and
she still wears bangs and endeavors to blush
when complimeBted.
The present season has broken more hearts
and brought more disgrace upon families than
any that has ever gone before.
THE vote of a Pennsylvania legislator was
bought for a load of pumpkins and a work steer.
This was bis very lowest figure.
DENNIS Kearney thinks this world isn't quite
40 good as it should be. 1t never will be until
he IS gathered unto his fathers.
brars bands ON the same day, but despite all this
it come out as usual next morning.
A SARATOGA visitor without the hay fever IS
cut by the best society and looked upon as passe,
en- passant, nux vomica, and all that.
A New YORK paper insists that General g ant
is figuring on the presidency again. This
matter should be looked into in time.
THE Waterbury [Conn.) American wants Sit.
ting Bull and John A. Logan to change clothes
and See which is the most of an Indian.
The rumor that Sarah Winnemucca, the Piute
princess, was becoming civilized is untrue. She
has written book and insists upon circulating
it.
ARTIFICIAL macaroni has crept Into the Ameri-
can MARKET and the Italians are talking up in
diqnation meetings and swearing in fractured
English.
THEIR meeting with 60 much opposition in
the west almost convinces slade and Mitchell
that they will have to 60 back to moral New
York to fight.
A TIDAL wave swept the Atlantic coast the
other day, causing the people to for the moment
believe that Tom Ochiltree had again embarked
on the other side.
BosroN Post: Gresham, being the green man
of the Cabinet the others have contrived to tuck
off on him the job Of sstaying in Washington and
being a governn ent.
A TORONTO girl always sings song to
chicken before killing it, Then it stretches its
neck for the glistening axewith patient resigna-
ton rarely Witnessed.
DURING the prefent trial 1t has been proved by
competent witnesses that Frank James is lover
of Shakespeare, but the jury feel inclined to
overlook this fact in their deliberation.
Or twenty people invited to dinner party at
Newport recently only five put in an appearance.
The rest couldn't sober up in time to handle their
knives and forks with fashionable grace.
The high school girl of st. Paul severely rep
Gov kho ohras
to be sneezad at." She says he ought to say
"occasioning no strernu atory convu)sions."
WHILE Kansas woman was giving her hus-
band piece of her mind cyclone came along
and carried him over into the next county. Even
cyclones possess some redeeming features.
A MAN who is in Jail at Memphis has a wife in
Dakota and one in Tennessee, and was just be-
ginning to lcok languidly at another charmer
when the iron hand of the law fell upon him.
ONa Washington street, DR.. Mary Walker,
was mistaken for dude and knocked down by
q youth, whose bump of combativeness Wis
with his head in point of size and symmetrical
beauty.
A CURIOUS disease mas appeaIea eanong Tue
nativ md transplantel oysters inIthe waters
near Annapolis, Md. A few mo ents after being
taken from the 0water the oyster opens, sroths
and becomes unfit for use.
At one of the watering places an impatient
young man walked up to the bathing house in
which he thought his male companion was dress
ing, and, knocking on the same, testify inquired,
"When in blazes are you going to get those pants
on?" There was a faint gurgle and silver
voice replied: "When get married, l suppose"
A EUROPEAN soientifc journal is trying to
start controversy by pointing out that if the
whale swallowed Jonah in the Mediterranean
and threw him ont again near Nineveh, he must
have carried him through the Straits of Gibraltar.
around the cape of Good Hope, up. the Peraian
1.1e ~ into thn T0rpa