Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1883-02-14
Ben Buffers Bridge.
How Massachusetts New Gov
ernOr Made the Most Mar
row Escape of His Life.

llOl Tue NIOSl
row Escape of His Life.
The recent triumph of Ben Butler
and the clever devices with which he
neutralized the effects of the "splits" in
his own ranks, saws Derrick Dodd in
the San Francisco Post, recalls an in
cident of the Generals early career,
and which is interesting in showing
that even in his youth Ben displayed
those strategic abilities which have
since done so much for his military
and political career
1t appears that young Butler was
much enamored of pretty girl who
lived on farm about six miles from
that of the Butler family in the west
ern part of Massachusetts. The coun-
try beauty was a coquette, however,
and kept quite train of admirers in
suspense, each rival doing his best to
gain the advantage of the others At
last matters were brought to climax,
and the damsel appointed a certain
night when she would render her final
decision as to which suitor she prefer
red.
1t goes without saying that they
were all better looking than Ben, but
the latter determined to putthe inside Of
his head against the outside of those of
his opponents. The nearest way to
the fair flirt's house, and the one taken
by all her eager followers, was over
bridge formed by single and some
what slippery log placed across deep
brook in the rear of the house. Young
Butler repaired to this bridge an hour
earlier than the accustomed "courtin'
time," carrying a pail of lard with
which he carefully annointed the log by
the mellow moonlight, backing him
self across it astraddle.
AS he afterwards sat with his sweet
heart, waiting for the other sutors to
appear, loud splash came from the
brook. Ben's game eye twinkled, and
in his Imagination he could see one of
his gorgeously got up fellow candi-
dates climbing up the opposite bank
with his teeth chattering and heading
for home across lots, but the conspira-
tor looked as innocent as cat in the
dairy and said nothing.
Pretty soon there came another
souse, and after while another The
beauty began to look at the clock aud
showed evidence of decided pique at
the negligence Of her other admirers
circumstance Ben did not fail to turn
to his own profit.
Presently he could family hear
voices in the distance, and he knew
that the last two swains were ap-
preaching together. Pretty soon
came tremendous double splash.
"Dear me-" said the young lady,
chow the fish are jumping tonight" !"
The upshot of it was that when the
future Governor rose to go the slight
ed beauty gave him her hand. Sealing
the bargain with an old-fashioned busk-
ing bee kiss, Butler left his prize in
such a state of exultation that he for
get all about the creased log, and the
first thing he knew both heels hit him
in the back of his head and he took a
header down below, just as his victims
had done. He clibmed up the already
|
home, uttering Kerneyisms unfit for
publication. He was taken with chills
and fever as result. and, when he got
well, found his fancee had eloped with
a hired man. Butler tells this as the
narrowest escape of his life, as he says
the girl began eating onions the very
next day after she became engaged.
The General has been lucky ever since.
The King of Denmark is truly a pa
ternal monarch. Finding that during
the recent severe weather the royal
foot guards were suffering greatly
from Colds and Coughs, this good old
gentleman ordered supply of Dr.
Bulls Cough Syrup for them and
now the sentries are happy.
A young lady had a narrow es-
cape al fire in New York few nights
since About half of her back hair was
burned Fortunately she was not in
the building at the time, having put on
her other hair and left the house only
half and hour before the fire broke out.
KAHOKA, Mo-, Feb. 9, 1880
l purchased five bottles of your Hop
Bitters of Bishop Il Co. last fall, for
my daughter, and am well pleased
with the Bitters They did her more
GOOD than all the medicine she has
taken for six years.
WM T. MCCLURE
The above is from a very reliable
farmer, whose daughter was in poor
health for seven or eight years, and
could obtain no relief until she used
Hop Bitters She is now in as good
health as any person in the country.
We have large sale, and they are
making remarkable cures,
An industrious caller in Washing
ton society is the Chirese Minister, al
though every word of conversation has
to be conducted by means of an inter-
prefer His secretary, who usually
accompanies him as Interpreter, Is a
bright young Chinaman of polished
manners and good command of English,
but now and then he gives his English
words Chinese setting with a conf
cal effect One day the two were TAX
ing afternoon tea at Miss Frelinghy-
sens. "One or two ?' she asked as
usual, poising lump of sugar over the
cup. Quoth the secretary, mo sugar,
no cream, one spoon"