The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1883-11-16
NO 20 DEER LODGE MONTANA, NOVEMBER 1e,
WHOLE NO. 749
WHY WE LAUGH.
Why does man dress up his wife tor
other men to run after and then have the
tradesmen running after him PUCK.

Why does a man dress up his wife tor
other men to run after and then have the
! tradesmen running after him PUCK.
"Why, Smith, what dreadful state of In.
toxication you are in" "This Q dre'fui
state of 'toxicstion? Just oughter seen me
th'other night. This 'sonly ter'tory to It,"
In the slang of the New York common
restaurant walters plate of ham and beans
is known as "stars and stripes" Goldfish balls
as s'sleeve- buttons" and hash as ''mystery."
The hotel walters costume still remains
dress. To prevent mistakes at parties, how
ever, the waiter is directed to carry Q towel
on his arm instead of Q young lady.-N. o.
Picay,ne.
Have ven brought your gimlet with you?"
"Eusf, Sys Ssny," said afEc. Yesgsi. "Go 10
bed, SIR" remarked Col. Yerger. "What do
you mean?" asked Gus, 6" don't mean muffin,
except heard pa say you were coming up
this evening 10 bore us all."-Teras Sit-
ings.
"Waiter, what is this on the side of my
pieP" "Ho, yes; why, certainly, sir. That
mark, sir? That Is the print Of my thumb,
sir. Just had my thumb in chocolate served
the other gent, sir. Meant TO have called
your attention to 1t before, sir. Cut il out
for you. sir?"
Miss Darlington--"Yes, he plays tennis
we'll, because, he plays 1t all day as q dis
traction. He is very unhappy, poor fellow /!
He was engaged and he found his income
growing less every day, SO he broke the en-.
gagement." Morace Templeton Snider-
"Why, that's the reason married. d.'--Lte.
"See here" said the star to the manager,
"if you are going to have bouquets handed
to me every night, why don't you &c: decent
ones Look at this tonight? It's all wilted.
Why can't have as good bouquet as had
last night ?" GAS good bouquet as you had
last night?" shrieked the manager. "Wby,
holy sunflower, it's the same one! !"
Jack had gone of and got himself lost and
be had also found himself and walked home.
"Are you not sorry that you ran away and
got lost?" asked the psternal ancestor, with
a tone of grief and approval. ~ wasn't
lost" "But nobody knew where you was"
II knew where | was myself" That settled
1t. A boy that knows where he is himself
can never get lost.-Hartford Post.
"Good morning, john" said one of the
leading pastors In Scranton to q young
warm day of the season; show does your
father stand the heat ~ The young man
made no reply, but went away with clouded
brow. And when the good pastor learned
that the young mans father had died only
week before, be understood why his cordial
greeting was met so coldly.--Ne'c Daily Ad-
uertiser.
When Fenelon was almoner TO Louis XIV
his Majesty was astonished to find one Sun
day, instead of numerous congregation,
only himself and the priest. "Whxt Is the
reason Of thiss" asked the King. 81 caused
1t 20 be given out, SIRE" replied Fenelon,
"that your Majesty did not attend chapel
to- day, that you might know who came to
worship God and who to fatter the King"
Scotsman.
There is q bright little boy up town. He
Is the son of q distins ,lshed naval officer.
The other evening his father and mother
were talking about Oscar Wilde and the
new style In which he dressed. The little
fellow spoke up and asked: "why, pa, does
he wear clothes? ?" Certainly" said the
father, "why shouldn't he wear clothes ?"
"Why, pa, l thought he was sunfower."-
Kingston Freeman.
When Mr.. Hendricks was in New York
last week he called upon Mr.. Tilden at
Greystone. He found the old man holding
a l00-pound anvil out at arms length, and
when Tilden inquired after The Indiana
statesman's health the latter grabbed the
handle of Samuel Us lifting machine and
pulled the whole arrangement up by the
roots, and then Tilden, with significant
smile, applied his mouth to his lung-tester
and exploded 1t In the first round. There Is
a great deal Of strength In the sold ticket"
yet.-NOrristo,c herald.