The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-05-04
wITTICISMS

miner knows his W lode, out . MS
tory Of the rise and fall Of the toy pis-
tol has proven that every minor doesn't
know his load.-YOnker's Gazettee.
as anyone waiting on your" said a
polite dry goods clerk to a young lady
from the country. "Yes, sir" replied
the blushing damsel; that's my fellow
outside; he wouldn't come in the store"
The Philadelphia police force is to be
lectured on practical medicine and sur
gerry. By and by the police officers will
learn that after a man has fallen and
broken his neck it will be perfect folly
to pull off his boots to ease his banions.
Philadelphia Chronicle.
We hear of a woman who applied for
a situation as a ear-driver. Being ask
ed if she could manage mules, she scorn
fully replied: '0f course l can, I've
had two husbands" The woman should
20 to congress, where there are plenty
to manage.-Elmira Gazette.
A man looking over his wash, which
the laundress had Just brought home,
remarked that he could very well un-
derstand how his neither garments
might shrink up, but what puzzled him
most was how the ruffles grew on each
leg.-Baltimore Every Saturday.
Some manufacturer of fishing tackle
has invented a bait with a luminous ar
rangement, of phosphorus, or some
thing of that kind, to light the fish to-
wards the hook. When it gets so a fel-
low has to hold a lantern 81 a fish can
see to bite, half the fun of fishing will
be gone.
Not long ago the birth of a girl baby
with three tongues was announced now
comes news of the birth of a girl baby
with two tongues. After a while all
the girl babies will have two or three
tongues. The coming man, if he mar
ries, is likely to have a very lively home.
louisville Courier-Journal
King Theebaw's baby is rocked to
sleep in a mango-wood cradle, cased in
side and out with plates of gold, sci
with rubies, emeralds, %sapphires and
diamonds, worth nearly a million dol
lars, but il takes Just as much paregoric
to put it to sleep as if 1t was rocked in a
section of a -four barrel.-Texas Slft-
lngs.
Heard in the suburbs: Good morn
ing, Mr.. Blank. Pa told me to bring
back your snow-shovel, which he bor-
rowed last fall, and says he will be very
much obliged if you will lend him your
spade, rake and ~wheelbarrow. He says
he viii send the spade back in time to
borrow your lawn-nower."-Philadel-
phia News.
Facts are stubborn things" said a
barrister to a female witness under ex-
animation. Yes, sir" said the wit
ness, land so are the women; and if
you get anything out of me just let me
know it." "You will be committed for
contempt" said the lawyer. Every
well" said the witness; Il shall suffer
justly, for l have the utmost contempt
for every lawyer present"
The GAINESVILLE boys who frequent the
roller skating rink, had a good deal of
fun the other night. They induced a
couple Of Cinnamon to put on roller
skates. Probably there never was a
more ridiculous scene IN the world. The
first time John struck out his feet went
into the air and he struck On the small
of his back, and he looked all around,
and thought it all over, and said China
man heap diam fOolee.
A new song is being sung in New
York. wo learn from our New York
agent, entitled, "Pull up your Suspend
ers, there's Fringe on your Pants" 1t is
SAID to be popular with all classes,
though it has not yet appeared in
opera, except the "Brakesman's OPERA"
as the variety theaters are called. So If
our citizens hear persons warbling the
new song they need not take it as per-
sonal, and look down at the bottom of
their pants to see if there is any fringe
there.
If one is keeping ascrap-book of odd
sayings this item will do to add 10 the
collection: A Scotch minister, forget
ting his spectacles, could not read the
Hymn, go he said, "My eyes are dim; |
cannot see" The precentorimmediately
sang, My eyes are dim l caw-noot
see." The minister explained, l spoke
of my infrmity." This was sung as the
second line. The minister pleaded, q
merely SAID my eyes were dim" These
words were sung, and he sat down, say
ing, Il did not mean to sing a hymn
When this line was sung the services
closed.
The attorney for a Maryland railroad
which killed a passenger last fall was
trying to effect a cheap settlement will
the father of the victim, and finally
said: Nov, slr, was not your son almos'
dead with consumption ?" eyes, sir
He would have died anyhow within
month ?" Eyes, within a fortnight