The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-10-04
How They ssRaised the Wind"

1t was evening in Jackson. The cooling wind
OF autumn were signing an accompaniment t.
the melody of the katy-did, and earth seemed
a veritable graveyard to Long Tom as he walk
ed along the dimly-lighted streets, and racket
his brain over the problem of political success
or failure. His musings might be told il
these words:
"This yer thing hahn It agoin' to pay. There's
that feller Gregg has got lots o. money, an he's
| spendin' it; I can't do nothin' without money
| L thought mebbe might do somethin' with the
niggers, but they've found out I've allus bin
| their innemy, an the jig's up with them
There's the labor lodges, wich tried to capcher
but they hev got a story that work too much
with my jaw, an not enough with my hands,
an that sed rusty bacon was good enough for
a laboring man; then the temperance men ac-
cuse me o. goin' into the saloons too often"-
and while this lonely pedestrian was vending
mournful journey along the street. his prayer
for aid was being answered.
A trio of three (dis)graces was making the
rounds OF the saloons, urging the saloon-keep-
ers to subscribe literally to fund to elect Long
Tom to office, giving as reason for such sup
port that Long Tom was opposed to the Second
Amendment, and would vote to remove the tax
on liquors, soon as he got into office. These
three (dis)graces, in moving around,
presented the appearance of shite-poke, a
lame duck, and monkey. They finally struck
q saloon-keeper whom we shall call "Honest
john" who refused to give them anything
preferring to know into whose hands his money
was going
Old Swagbelly, man who has been in "de
peesness" many years, came waddling into
Johns place, accompanied by "Dr." Broadfoot,
another "peesness man." These urged upon
John the Importance of assisting Long Tom,
financially.
81 won't do it," said John.
"Why," said Broadfoot, "hes poor; we've got
to help him; he's on our side, unit he is our only
hope"
"ven, I gif so mooch as three dollar" said
John.
"Come," said Swag. "You moost do more as
dot. YEssUR!'
"Oh, yes," said Broadfoot, "you moost gif
more"
"Look you here!" yelled John. "I knows vot
ish my own peesness already, unit ven gif,
gif to some man vot ish right. Broadfoot haf
no right to COON rount here NIT his big apern
on, unit tell me it 'ish all right ven knows it
ish not all right Vot for you want me to gf
him some monish? So his vrents can pick his
pockets right away? Huh?"
And the three (dis)graces left John and Swag.
and Broadfoot, and made the rounds of the 9TH
er saloons. Some of the others shelled out lib
orally and the three (dis)graces met in an out
of-the-way place to gloat over their success. 1t
was at once proposed to send Long Tom into
the other counties of this District, as they now
had some money with which to pay his
penses.
"But what would the people say?" asked he
of the shite-poke proportions, "when they find
that our man is running his campaign on mon
ey which the temperance men claim is literally
stolen from the families of poor drunkards-"
'sTam te temperance men!" said the lame
duck; "vell git him to tell em he's for temper
ance vile We tell our vellers he's not. We can
outlie 'em right straight along"-and the night
winds whispered to the stars, "that's SOL" And
the stars answered, "yea verily"'
OF course Long Tom knew not what his
friends were doing ~ and the last seen of him
he was running up and down the District like
sorrowing COW in search of q lost calf Tom has
learned that man may suffer through the zeal
of his friends, and that, at best, it is sad thing
to be great man. And, when the vote shall
have been counted out on the Sth day of Octo-
Der, take our word for it, Tom will play the part
of "the bound boy at the shuckin'." For, even
Low, the little birds are whispering to the au-
tumn breezes, and the autumn breezes whisper
ing to the falling leaves: "He's good moulder
of bricks, but decidedly bad moulder of pub
lie opinion"