The Baltimore County union., 1883-05-12
COMMERCIAL CHRONICLES.

EraasriHe Ary~..
l. And il came to pass that the sun
had set and darkness came over the face
of the earth, yea, it was the nighttime.
II. The nighttime il was, when the
electric light burneth and the maiden
with the painted cheeks goeth out upon
the streets seeking whom she may
devour.
III. And the colored brother taketh
hitch in his suspenders and turneth
up his pants into his boots and pre-
pareth for a raid on his neighbor's hen
coop.
". And the fond father retireth to
rest after that he hath placed the catnip
tea handy where he can reach and get
il even to the seventeenth time in the
night, when the baby hath the collie.
v. And the clerk peepeth in the cash
drawer to see perchance il half dollar
remaineth so that he may have the
where withal to daily for two games
with the billiard balls.
VI. And tae Thomas cat cleareta his
throat and climbeth upon the outer
wall that he may cheer his Mariar with
song, and lick another cat in the ward.
VII. Yea, il was night. and tribe of
drummcrs had gathered together to
swap yarns aad pick their teeth and
squirt the juice of the tobacco plant
upon the stove that the porter might
swear in the morning.
VIII. And they did tell tales of food
and of fire, and OF narrow escape by
land and by sea, and each did swear
that he did tell the truth, so help him
Bob lngersoll.
*. And one did tell Of how vessel
was about to leave him, and he did
leap with two grips in his hand the
distance Of fifty spans and one meter
and did land safely upon the vessel.
y. And yet another did tell of how
his train was late, and he did walk
ahead upon the track, and when he did
hear the train he did climb into high
tree and did drop off and land s,rad-
die OF the engine.
M. And yet another did tell OF how
a hotel did catch on fire, and also soon
did his clothes, and he did slide down
inside of tin spout and did land in
the cistern and put his clothes out, and
did not even catch unto himself cold.
XII. And yet another did tell that he
was once in Texas and was encompassed
about by robbers, and the same did
fire on him.
XIII. And when his eyes beheld one
fire then would he fire also At the bullet,
and would smiie it with his, and 10,
after he had vanquished his enemies
and put them to flight, he did gather
up fourteen pounds of lattened bullets
and did sell them for old lead in the
next town.
XIV. And yet another told of a mad
dog that he had encountered in the
highway, and when he had approached
him he did run his hand adown his
throat and catch his tail, and did turn
him inside out, and did save nineteen
lives thereby.
xv. And yet another told how that
he had saved Henderson from the small
pox.
XVI And he told how that the peo-
pie across the river, in the State which
is called Indiana, had the small poX,
and 10, the winds did blow from that
same side.
XVII. And he did stand with a sieve
in his hand, therein did he catch the
small pox out OF the wind, and As fast
rs he had caught il he did fling it into
the river and did save the town, did
give unto him gold medal OF leather.
XVIII. And when they had spoken, Pug
giles did rear back and spit on the stove
and did say:
XIX "Naught know OF danger, yet
did once do a feat that surpasseth all
these; yea did do il with mine own
! hands.
xx. 81 journcyed in the land of
Egypt which licih back ofShawneetown,
and came into wide stream which
flowed swiftly before mine eyes.
Xxi. "And the driver who was with
me said, 10 le, us turn back that We
be not drowned, for the water is deep
and will swallow us up, yea me and
thee and the horses and thy grip sack.
=. XIII. "And did marvel much At
his fear and did say, How now, art
) thou a craven that thou fearcst this
stream? Woulds, thy digestive appara-
,us thus crawl about thy livers'
xxiII. "And he made reply, Yea,
would not cross it for yoke OF steers,
far it is wide and deep. and danger
licth therein.
xxiv. "Then spakc l.: Behold even
what | will do then, coward yea,
watch even me that thou canst get a
+, pointer
xv. "And my grip took in my teeth
: and spat upon my hands and drew
within myself long breath.
xxvI. "Then did take with one
; hand firm hold upon my neck and
with the other a firm hold upon the
! polonaise of my pants and did count
: 'one, two, three.
XVII. "And when did count three
. then did lift myself up and throw my
self across the stream and land safe At
!, the distance OF two hundred feet upon
+ the other side"
!, xxvII. And when he had said this,
: the Others did fall back and were para
lyzed, and Puggles arose and said
= xxx. al believe I'll 60 to bed. I'm
not feeling well this evening as I'm no,
used TO telling the truth"
4 Bsy-Language: Tommy-"what does
Il beg your pardon mean1" Aunt-"It
is form of apology, my dear. For
& instance, if were to knock up against
c you by mistake, should apologize by
4 saying: Il beg your pardon. >" Tom
n my-"Oh, mother wouldn't say that
She'd say: Get out, yer young war
}, mint, or II fetch ye sich a slap o. the