Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-09-13
sQUIBs.

1t Is nature that makes an lhe luz
Y about peaches.
n The tidal waves caused by earth
81 quakes have no effect upon politics.
u There's too mach water in them.
ssThe line must be drawn some
where. remarked the lynching party
as they swung it over the limb of
tree.
The mosquitoes generally leave sum
me. resorts at the same time the guests
4 de-. The 'skeet2r is a bird that can
keep up with the procession every
time.
# The Boston Transcript has seen a
Theatrical audience applaud an actor
Mho vowed never to touch liquor
again, and then three-iifths of them
pushed out for beer as soon as the
curtain went down.
M us that man an undertaken, pa.
asked a little boy who saw chap
with painfully elongated counte,,
& nance gazing at paper which he held
before him. "No, my son; he Is
professional funny man who IS crit
cally reading the latest efforts OF
rival humorist."
An economical housewife says: Two
] drinks of whisky means a pound and
II half of beefsteak; two beers, dim
Y ner of mutton chops; a cocktail, an
egg-plant or head of cauiitower.
G8 .'What'll you take, Charley stands
~ for nice oyster stew for the whole
NJ family Sunday morning. set EN-
VI mp again" means sugar in the house
vi for month. This is a bit of practi
u cal domestic economy furnished by a
4 workingman for the consideration of
II his fellows.
M Mistress Bridget
E Br.- Miami
# Mrs. Did you hear me ring"
"a Br.-''No ma'am."
M Mrs. -"How's that"
BIT didn't hear you ring but |
81 heard the bell ring, ma'am.n
III Mrs. And why did you not an
swer it2'
8 Br.- Sure, ma'am, l was Just af-
Their opening the front door for a man
sS8 to see the masther."
M Mrs What man2"
81 Brittle man what dined wild yez
y last night, ma'am. An who did see
sS goin' down the basement Slips but the
M gintleman for the swill Sure, onless
M cut misilf in two, | can't be in three
places at oncet maam."
III Pray, my good man, - said Judge
81. to an Irishman who was a witness on
b a trial, "what did pass between you
N and the prisoner2' ooh, then, phase
n your Lordship, said Pat, ''sure sees
81 Phelim atop of the wall. 'Paddyr
Says he. 'Whatf says /. Here
Says he Hush ? says |. And that's
all phase your Lordship.
BID One of the Kansas postmasters is
s& more than pleased with the new off
cial order. He says when the wife
Sof the first or sec0nd-class postmaster
aotlicially requests him to beat the car
Hpet, or weed the onion-bed, on white
wash the back fence, he can draw ont
# POSTMASTER General Gresham's order
al forbidding first or second-class post
smasters from absenting themselves
ksfrom their Offices Then he can 90 out
k9rom the sheltering roof of his domi-
E.aie absorbed in the beautiful thought
Ell hat there is no cloud without silver
Mining"
A dark-eyed girl, with a tangle of
soft brown hair shading her brow,
BAYS; IF fellow is desperately in
Dove with girl, and is persistent in
EEhis efforts to win her. he is sure to
Egain his suit. Wldowers understand
this point, and know exactly how to
make love and propose, and you will
e observe they are always successful. "
s She knows one case where a widower
went in and hung up his hat, announc-
\ ING his intention of remaining until
he was accepted, and the girl had to
marry him to get rid of him. A wild
CSoyer beau makes her nervous about
the result.
"A The failure of the washerwomep S
Strike in Augusta Ca, is thus pleas
antly alluded to by local paper;
EYesterday afternoon about o'clock
the city was threatened with an event
which almost curdled the starch in
the shirt-collars of the community
and froze the soap-suds in the bluest
veins. 1t was commotion which con-
cerned the very existence of society,
and had it not for want of a proper
head and more thorough organization,
&dssolved like borax in a summer sky,
the peace of the State and cause of
civilization would have suffered a
SERIOUS shock" When a Georgia
sxlitor sets out to fill space he can do