Milford chronicle., 1883-07-13
WIT AND WISDOM.

right.
"WHAT is pride, my son ?" said a gem
tleman to his little boy Walking with
a cane when you amt lame, he said.
LoNeFE1Low tells us that ''Love keeps
the cold out better than a cloak In
that case there are some married people
whose teeth are chattering.
A PENNSYLVANIA man still has in his
possession the first pair Of pants he
ever wore. Unlike most fathers, ,he
hasn't tried to work 'em off on the
boys.
Loss Of sleep, it is said, is making men
small and puny. This is a fact just
look at the difference in the physique of
a delicate scholar and the robust night
policeman.
LAvAToR could tell mans character
by the crook in his nose and the curl in
his hair. 1t was he who said, "The af-
fectation of sanctity is a blotch on the
face Of piety."
THERE are only two classes Of unmar-
ried women in society, 'scrawny old
maids" and young "chits of girls. You
learn this by hearing each of these de-
scribe the other.
A GREAT many people in this world
praise goodness, and then do as they
have a mind to. They follow the advice
Of George Herbert to praise the sea,
but keep on land.
THURSDAY is clean shirt day with most
men, and it completely knocks out wo-
man to have her husband ask before
company Wednesday night, Mother, is
my other shirt done up?" Founded on
fact. -EcchaRge
THE furniture dealer knew that she
had not been long married when she in
quired for matrimonial fruit basket.
And being the father of a family himself,
he knew that what she wanted was q
cradle. Boston Star.
In modern Egypt young man is not
permitted to see his wife's face before
marriage. As a consequence, not infre-
luently soon after marriage he makes
Up his mind that he never wants to see
t again. n.-Lot0eH citizen.
"WHY do you put the big strawberries
N the top of the box ?" asked a Phila-
Ielphia housewife. because the big
mes are very mellow, and if put on the
'ottom, they might be crushed, " replied
he dealer com1,lacapflv
A PHILADELPHIA man refused to pay
be bill of the lawyer who had procured
i'm divorce, and claimed that the at
orney's services had been an injury in
tead of a benefit to him. The new wife
e married proved even worse than the
rst.
SUPERINTENDENT United States Fish
Washington, d. C.-Many
ranks for the 1900, 900 young shad you
mt us. A more tender lot we have
ever eaten. Send us some more,
ease. Yours, truly, Hudson River
erch.
THERE is a man in Burlington who has
lied in business five times since he was
years old, and has never
st anything but his temper. And pays
ty cents on that-never gets more
an half so angry as other men,
at0keye.
SWIMMING is becoming a favorite
with New York ladies. 1t
$ long been known that husbands Of
wv York ladies often find it difficult to
ep their own heads above water, and
W, perhaps, their wives will help
I'm.
MILWAUKEE reports a rare instance Of
ternal affection. A young man there
his brother under the influence Of
lgs and then eloped with his wife.
ch tender solicitude in bearing an
ers burdens is seldom evinced inthis
fish world.
'OH DEAR?' exclaimed Mrs. Handy,
o was managing the kitchen depart
mt at the church social; "what am I
10? Haven't got half spoons enough"
ever mind, remarked Fogg; plenty
poons out there in the vestry. ."-Bos-
Transcript
t this season of the year, when black
ries and plums constitute the rural
or's bill Of fare, a chicken pie is
Try of no small magnitude. We sat
n to one this week, and the world has
ed unusually bright ever since.
.,.f0 f(yQ y CytjjboQ513
msT citizen to second citizen, who is
he way to market with a very large
let and a very small tin cup-"What
you doing with such big basket
such little cup?" Second citizen
ly, sir, carry my money in the
ct; the cup is for the vegetables I'm
It. - Louisville Courier-lournaL
E mechanism of locomotive has
explained to Taupin for the lasl
Il understand all that machinery
city" said he to the instructor,
there is one thing that cannot
,rehend. "And what is that p
ii, that ali his heavy work can be
n along without horses. Figaro.
rERIoAN mosquitoes have made their
amuce in London. Their nations
was discovered from the fact that
carried jack-knives and ''talked
gh their nose" They also had
J. embroidered on their backs.
these pests visit Germany, Bis
! .;il ,,, , ,,,o,lor,ofion ooainef