The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1883-03-31
TROUBLES OF A BRIDAL PARTY.

SAY, what klnd OF nOL6l 90 you
keep" said green looking man, as he
stepped up to the counter and register
ed his name, and added land wife" af-
ter it. Can new married couple set
tie down here for two Orthree days and
have a good visit with each other and
not be scared ont of their bOOtsp"
The hotel man said they could go di-
rect to their rooms and stay there three
days or three weeks, and never come to
their meals, if they didn't want any
thing to eat. But what is the matter
Haven't you been annOyedp" asked the
hotel man.
"AnnOyedP That dOesen't express 1t.
We were married yesterday at st. Paul,
and went to hotel. live about sixty
miles west of st. Paul, and the travelling
men put up a job to make me tired.
There were about a hundred of them
showed in at st. Paul, and Ill be darned
if they didn't keep us awake all night.
They knew we were bridal couple, and
they bribed the bell boys and pOrters to
let them act for them, and when we
rang the bell for the bell boy, a drum
mer for Chicago cigar factory came in
and wanted to know what was wanted.
l ordered pitcher of ice water, and
Milwaukee drummer for grocery house
brought it in, and he looked at my wife.
who is bashful, and made her feel real
bad. didn't know they were drummers
until the next day, or l should have
killed some of them. I rang the bell
for coal, and travelling salesman who
posts railroad cars around and works up
excursions, he came in and fixed the
fire, and stayed and pOked 1t up for half
an hour, and he had more gall than any
man ever see. He asked so many ques-
tiOns about how long we had been mar
ried that wanted to thump him, but
my wife said we didn't want to have no
row the first day we were married. /
rang for a ehambeTmaid to clean up the
room and bring some towels, and 1t was
about half an hour before she came, and
l went down to the Office to see about
my trunk, and the chambermaid stayed
about half an hour and was very inter
esting; and my wife said she was real
pleasant, affectiOnate sort of a creature.
far above her station, and l tell you |
was mad when l found out that it was
smooth faced, handsome young Jewish
drummer for a Milwaukee clothing
house, who was in with the gang, and
he gave the chambeTmaid 50 to loan him
an old dress 80 he could play chamber
maid. When my wife told me the cham
bermaid patted her on the cheek, and
said she was the sweetest bride that was
ever in a hotel, and asked for a kiss,
and my wife said she thought there was
no harm TO kiss a poor chambermaid,
and encourage her, | wanted to kill
/ lin, and went down to the office next
hmOrning, but the smooth faced cuss had
gone to Fargo. 1t was all the landlord
could do to hold me. Well,while we were
at supper somebody got into the room
and put cracker crumbs in our bed, and
we found a cold oil cloth floor mat
over the top sheet, enough to freeze
anybody. But the worst was at night.
We had got comfortably in bed, when
of
got up, and the watchman was there,
and he said he wanted to point out to
me the fire escape, so could get out in
case of fire; and 1 went out into the hall
and he took me way out to the end of
the building to show me, and while
was looking out of the window my wife
came running down the hall and beg
ging me to save her. L asked her what
was the matter, and she said as soon as
went out man that looked like pOr-
ter came in the room and told her to fly,
and save herself, and follow her hus-
band. She felt awful when she found
there was no trouble, and we got back
into our room half frozen. l have got
them fellows down fine. The fellow who
called me out took at the fire escape Is a
drummer for a Philadelphia millinery
house, and the one that scared my wife
out her wits travels for hearse factory
at Rochester, N. Y. My wife says she
would know him now, because he has a
big gray mustache and he wears a dia-
mOnd collar button in his shirt. She
said she thought he was pretty stylish
for porter at the time. They woke US
up several times in the night to tell us
what to do in case Of sickness, and in
the morning, before we were up, pOr-
ter brought up our breakfast. He said
the landlord sent 1t up, and he Just sat
down until we had to sit up in bed and
eat breakfast; but when found out that
the man who brought it up was a trav-
cling man for reaper factory at Rock
ford, and remembered how darned i'm
pudent he looked at my wife, L could
have murdered him, but the clerk said
he had gone to Wiunepeg. 1t was just
about as bad coming down here on the
sleeping car, and think half the pas
sengers on the cars were those same
drummers that was showed in. 1t was
colder than Alaska, and L would order
extra blankets and they would steal
them. l had more than twenty blan-
kets put on the bed; and in the morning
there was nothing but sheet over US.
And every time there was blanket put
over us, different porter put it on, and
/ think they were all travelling men.
Every little while somebody would come
and pull the curtains and sit down on
my berth, and begin to pull off his boots
cupied, and that he must have made
mistake, and he would look around. at
us as innocent as could be, and ask our
pardon, and then go out and damn the
porter. Once 1 felt somebody feeling
about my berth, and / asked what was
the matter, and the fellow said he was
looking for his wife's shoes to black.
Then about every fifteen minutes the
conductor would open the curtains and
hold red lantern in and ask for our
tickets. think they punched my tick
ct seventy five times. Anyway it look
ed like a porous plaster when / got up
in the morning. l think it was the
travelling men who were playing con-
duetor, but l was sleepy and thought
the best way was to let them punch it.
Well, about o'clock In the morning
somebody punched US and said IL was
time to get up, as all the passengers
were up, and we would have breakfast
in fifteen minutes. And then we hust-
led around and got dressed the best we
could, lying on our backs and kicking
our clothes up IN the air and catching
them on themselves when they came
down. 1 got my pants on wrong side