The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-15
st Valentines DAY.

No ACKNOWLEDGEMENT saill HAS .6VST received
the same omount of spontaneous homage as
/ has the saEcuGed parsonage whose natal
/ day was So generally celebrated yesterday.
4 All are acquainted with his unequiyocal
A claims TO popular devotion and the tribute
is rendered by willing hearts.
Not only has II become by prescribed
custom the day when the tender lover can
| COO to his responsive dove in soft accents of
affection, embossed by representative flow
erets and the gaudIest OF "papier Vaen-
cienne, but the whole flood gate of human
passion has oeen given grand holiday on
this festive occasion, and spleen, spite,
malice and vulgar meanness in all their
diversified forms are allowed to hurl pois-
oned darts into the very bosom of their vic.
tins with the most hallowed impuuity.
One cent for the missile, one cent for
postage and u borrowed envelope are
(, all that is necessary to insure
the willy prosecutor the full measure of
agony and torture he would iniict upon
the foe be dare not meet.
Sweet valentines are somewhat costly,
4 and consequently not numerous, but the
daubs are wonderfully cheap and conse-
quently vastly more popular. The letter
carriers have not only been compelled to
duplicate their deliveries, but through
the heavy mud have been doubly
burdened at each load. With a
sigh of relief they went to their
homes last night, but the way they
will be questioned to.day as to whether
Miss SO-and-so got any mail on yesterday,
or how MIR. Thngamybob cussed when he
got his, will be supplement to this day.
torture which none out the swiit-tooted
messengers of the postal department can
appreciate.
gushing illusions have been distributed,
and the pent-up feelings of about the aver
age number Of bashtul youths allowed
to escape through this harm
less, vet somewhat spcony me-
dium, This may entail the wearing
of a shirt a week or SO longer, perhaps,
abstinence from the idolzed cigarette and
the fascinating game of tifteen-ball pool
for more indefinite time; but what boots
this il one fond heart be made happy? 1t
certainly does not amount to a pair OF boots;
and all! what beatitic Joy IL may shed upon
the soul of her you love? (At this point
the reporter is Interrupted by an assistant
who gives him the full particulars of the
conviction of Sarah Mullins for having
poisoned Nancy Bigelow's cat. He re.
luctautly closes the aesthetic page and turns
to the revolving side of the valentine iestiyi,
ties.
The prevailing sentiment among those
who received tie stilletto blows of anony
nous assassins, was that they could moi
possibly be intended for them; that the
reference to the character, appearance, etc.
OF the party, to whom the valentine was
sent, was so entirely remote from his char
acter, appearance, etc., that it must have
been mistake, you know,
But, and it grieves-the reporter to say it
some of our hest ciJlzens have been NOR
tally offended by persons whom they dc
not class in that list.
The reporter received a strange--well, an
uncouth and uncostly caricature OF a man
upon the left side OF whose facial proper
tions was wen about the size o.
the last hornets nest it was his painful
duty to attack Upon the fungus il
letters, the word cheek" The legs ant
arms OF the being to whom ii was thought
proper to assimilate the reporter, are un
natural-even grotesQue-the countenanct
is anything but open and manly, whilst til,
whole pose Of the figure is-well ridiculous
He has tried TO eyince no feeling
in tact, has none, but reall,
he did not suppose there was a man Of
woman so vile, SO low, base, deprayed
wretched and utterly abandoned as to hav,
even intimated lack on his part of til,
most delicate and refined sensiblity.
There were some ladies whose eyes hap
pened not to be precisely in alignment
that were iusulted by pictures of cross-eyet
women. They knew they had Sigh
cast, but never knew until now tina
one woman in the city would hay,
so far condescended, etc; but they woulC
spot EN-
The bow-legged man was offended b,
sending him valentines intimating that b,
couldn't catch sheep or hogs in clos
pinch, and @3vising him to sell out as
pattern for @olian harps, piano pedestals
etc. He laughed but changed his tailo
who made breeches that disfgured him.
The gossiping woman and gad.abou
valentines were not pleasantly received
They will c'eate trouble and be heart
from.
Some we're sent to ladies', intimating tina
the recipients wore false hair, false teeth
etc. The parties receiving them boldl,
challenge enquiry, but decline reference Il
their BARRIERS, or their dentists.
The "beau.catcher" is favorite tarta
lizer, but fails to elicit more than the ex
preston from the fair one addressed tina
they "know who done it"
The matchmaker always starts the part,
addressed from her lair, and the umbrella
is Immediately demanded. She inform
the young man whom she meets that /
was mot him she was fishing fur"
The masher is popular subject for yitu
perative daubing, He takes Il well, an,
only says that he "csnnot help It,
But the two classes most thorough,
aroused and deeply offended are those VIII,
areindirectly accused ofhaving bad breaths
and In the case of females of possessing In
manly ornamentation Of hair on their uppe
lips
1t certainly is moi pleasant 10 be referre,
to as being who startles individuals an,
disperses squads by the mere expiration
from decayed teeth or tuberculate,
lungs, perhaps disordered stomachs
To see crowds flying from the approach
of the proprietor OF inodorous exhala
tions, and children dropping by the way
side with hands to their noses, must be I'M
pleasant to such rs are so untortu
nate as TO be afflicted in this way
But when woman is addresse,
by valentine in the name of barber, VIII
desires her custom, with hints that he
feminine qualities are affected by her hir
suite arch on the superior labial, she |
indignant, disguised, fiery, aggressive an,
dangerous.