davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1883-08-04
THE GREAT ENCLl SH REMEDY

years--suchas Loss OF Memory, Lassitude,
Nocturnal Emission, Aversion to Society.
Dimness division, Noises in the Head; the
vital nuid passing unobserved in the urine.
and many other diseases that lead to insanity
and death.
DIR. MINTIE will agree to forfeit Five
Hundred Dollars for case of this kind
the VITAL RESTORATIVE tunder his special
advice and treatmentl win nat cure or for
ANYTHING impure or injurious found In it.
DIR. NINrIE treats all Private Diseases
successfully without mercury. COnsulta-
tiOn free. Thorough examination and I'D
vice, including analysis of urine, IS. Price
o: Vital Restorative, % a bottle, OF
four times the quantity. SO; sent to any ad.
dress upon receipt of price, or c. o. D., secure
from observation. and in private name II de.
sired, by A. e. MINTIE, M D..
II Kearny Street.
Sam Francisco, Cal
SAMPLE BOTTLE FREE Sent on
application by letter stating symptoms. sex
and age. Communications strictly confiden.
tiAl
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1883-08-04
ne was q Travelling Man.

Chicago Drummer. A Cincinnati
travelling man has a bright little
daughter, who doesn't get to see him
very often, as his business keeps him
away from homo . great deal. The
other day the members of the family
and several visitors were watching
her playing with a lot of kittens.
She was talking to them, and coddling
them in her sweetest kind of way,
and this is what the folks heard her
say: "Oh, you cute little kittens.
You dear, sweet little things. Here
comes your mamma, and you will be
glad to see her, won't your Then
her voice became sad. "But where
is your papi Inever see him around,
and he doesn't come to see you, does
he9 | wonder who your pa isl Oh,
know; l guess he must be travel
ing mani" and the laugh the compa-
ny gave the little girl was the first
intimation she had she was being
overheard.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1883-08-04
AMERICAN WATCH CO.
Waltham, Mass.

This case is formed in one solid piece with
out Joint or seam, opening in front only, thus
avoiding the usual Cap, and securing greater
strength and durability.
These Watches are all open face. The be-
eel, into which an extra strong crystal is TT
ted with an especially prepared waterproof
cement, is attached to the case by screwing it
thereon. and thus forms an air-tight junction
with the body of the case, which is proof
against dust and moisture.
To railroad men, travellers, miners. lumber
mon and others who are almost constantly ex-
posed and who have to make frequent refer
enos to the watch. these qualities are OF the
utmost importance.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1883-08-04
The following letters tell their
own story.

vALDosTA. Georgia. July 90. 1882.
~ sold one of your Patent Dust Proof Cas-
es about ten months ago, and tae other day it
came back to me with the request to make 1t
wind easier. On examination found that
the stem was rusty. and enquired into the
cause of it, The gentleman stated to me that
he was starting some saw logs that had lodg-
ed in the bend Of the river. when his chain
caught in 8 bush and threw his watch into
about twelve feet Of water, and he was about
two hours finding it. When he got it out 1t
was running and he thought ali right. In
about three months he found that the stem
was hard to turn and sent it to me.
can say that the watch is sll that the Com
psny claims for 1t and recommend it to all
railroad and mill men.
B. W. BENTLY."
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1883-08-04
s'Glad News for the Unfortunate

s'Glad News for the Unfortunate"
The world renowned "Henry's Spe-
cifc" positively cures all cases of
Nervous Debility aud all weakness of
the generstlve organs. In a vsrie 1
practice of over thirty years n treat
ing mems diseases aud 'ilsrbi ii :,
Dr.. Henry has met with unphratied
success, having treat i durirg that
time upward OF fry thousand pa
tients, and 10 no instance Without
success when "Specitic" WAS used as
directed. The "Specitic" is in the
form of pills, is pleasant to take aud
does not interfere with business pur-
suits. Sufferers may consult free,
enclosing stamp for reply. "Spec,f-
&C." one dollar; six for five dollars
sent free of detection, securely sealed,
by mail, on receipt of prlce. Al
dress all communications tn Wheel
or s. c., chemists, 149 Est twenty
Seventh street, New YORK City.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1883-08-04
CLINTON. Iowa. April %. 1881

CLINTON, Iowa, April 20, 1881.
II wish you would send me q spring for the
VIM Ellery Watch y = By the way this FL.
lery is q watch sold in yeur Screw Bezel
Case to 9 farmer last fall. The first Of Jan.
he lost the watch In the woods. and found it
this week in about one foot Of water. 1t had
lain three months and over in snow and water
with but slight Injury to the wstch-only .
hair spring. G. S. RAYMOND"
The above were very severe tests and DEM
onstrated beyond doubt. that for any reA-
sonable length of time during which watch
might be under water it would receive NO in
jury whatever.
We make these cases in both gold and sill
yer. and as Perfectly Dust-Proof
stem Winding w atch Case,
thai enge ths WorId to Pro-
duce its EqueI.
FOR Sale by all First-cIass
Jewellers.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1883-08-04

The Sumtervile Florida, Times has
the following: EIIz. Bags, native
of Georgia, came to Florida at six
years of age, married at thirteen, aGd
her first child was born when she vas
only fourteen. She is now only
thirty one. and has had eighteen chi
dren Twins twice. fifteen Of whom
are now living. She is now hale and
hearty, and Is very active working
three living have eighteen children
each, aud one, vino died at the aga OF
twenty six, had fourteen children.
Eliza is now living near SumterviIle
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1883-08-04

Richard Dyar. II wealthy planter,
and Sylvia Lambert, his h"usek~ep-r
of Albany, Mis-. have b.eu Nled '"r
trying to poison Mrs. D,A', BY b ii
ing the head of IN Iccasin snake in
her coffee.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1883-08-04

"My son." said an American father,
show could you marry an Irish girl9"
"Why, father, 1 am not able to keep
two women. If l marry a Yankee
girl I'd have to hire an Irish girl to
take care of her."
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1883-08-04
"HENRYS Specific"
FOR
Nervous Debility.

SEM IN : L. WEAKNESS,
IMPoTENCY, PHYS CAL DEB LfTY, LOSS
OF MANLY vIdOR, PkEMA-
Un. EXHAUSTION
AID many evi aud gloomy consequences Of
ea'ly indiscr ton. THIS incom "a aole GREAT
ENGLISH REMEDY has air ady achieved q
worldwide reputation for its intrinsic mer-
its; 1t is not patent medicine, nut a prepsr-
ed prescription Of one of t.e most emin "nt
English physicians. is ihfallhle 10 restor-
ing lost vigor, whether from imprudenoe,
sickness, or old age. Sufferers may fully re-
ly on this. specific sent by mail. securely
sealed. with full directions and rules
Price 81 Ter Pkg. or 6 Pkgs. S5.
Sufficient to opre most cases.
Address, VIII eeler g. Co.
li9 East 27th street. New York City,
mch3l-lyr.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1883-08-04

In q recent accident on Southern
railroad. they pulled one of the pas
sengsrs out from under the car, his
back broken, his neck twisted, and
his stomach jerksd around him hind
side before.
"My poor man." said the doctor,
"you are fatally injured. Ia there
any word you want to send to your
.friends2"
"Was 1t bad aoeident2" asked the
sufferer, turning his glazed eyes on
his interlocutor.
"Pretty bad" sighed the doctor.
"There must have been q hundred
killed besides YOU"
"Then telegraph my wife to sell
ten thousand shares of stock in this
road short!" murmured the sufferer,
and with a smile of satisfaction on
HIS pale face he skipped to where the
wicked cease from troubling, and the
weary are at rest.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1883-08-04

"What have you got cor dinner"
inquired disgusted drummer of the
waiter 10 q Carson restaurant. The
drummer had been in town twenty
four hours without taking al order.
"Roast duck, sir"
"Ah! Was the duck shot on the
wing3"
~ guess So"
"Trying to get away from this Gus
sed place, wasn't hef'
II presume likely enough, sir"
"Good bird; sagacious fowl; rara
avis. admire his pluck and pity
his misfortune. You may bring me
that duck. I'll take the whole of him.
III help hin. along on the road"
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1883-12-27
Musical Fish.

Lieutenant John White says that on
his voyage to China. when his ship was
anchored at the mouth of the river Cam
boya, the sailors were much astonished
at she sounds that issued from the
water, resembling the bass of an organ
mingled with the tones of bell, the
croaking of an enormous frog and the
clang OF an immense harp. These sounds
swelled into gentle chorus on both
sides of the ship and were attributed by
the interpreter to school of fish. A
similar occurrence in the South Sea was
described by Baron Humboldt. The
sailors were greatly terrified at about
Z o'clock in the evening by an extra
ordinary noise in the air, like the beating
of tan,bourines, followed by sounds
which resembled the escape of air from
boiling liquid At 0 o'clock these
strange sounds, which it was judged,
proceeded from n school of seioenoides,
ceased. The gizzard shad, known sci
entifcally as the lorosome, utters dis
tinct, vibratory, whining sound. The
mullet utters distinct note, often quite
prolonged and accompanied by a. dis.
charge Of air-bubb bbles, Danger 7fibrMel
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1883-12-27
A Giant sPEthon.

A chorus of discordaJt5 screams from
the throats of half % hundred parrots
greeted New York SIN reporter who
walked into the birdiFdealer's rooms in
Roosevelt street. When he had become.
accustomed to the ,rasphg sounds sufh-
ciently to hear, the proprietor said -
81 will show you the largest snake IN
captivity. Snakes lnshoWs are usually,
disappointing to the by who has read
the cheerful tales of anscondas that swal-
low nothing smaller than a COW, but here
is sensation in snakes .:s,5 .si s
He unlocked the .hasp on. a heavy
box two and half by: -four feet
large and foot dep, and raised
the cover. There was the snake in
what sailors might call two Flemish coils,
one on top of the other, covering nearly
the whole of the q, s.of the box. AS
the light shone int ..ls3 box the. snake
raised its head, which was as large as
mans open hand, aid moved it about
uncasily, while black forked tongue
darted out toward the spectators. It's
body was black, NET lied with white
and olive green spots. ,iIie little, round
black eyes seemed to- look steadily into
the eyes of the keeper and the re-
porter at the same time, and nothing
could withdraw their gaze till the lid
was shut down. -
"It is thirty feet long, and eighteen
inches in circumference in its largest
part, said the proprietor. "It was cap
tured about eighty miles back of Cal.
cutta. 1t is u genuine python. We
have another one Of the same kind about
eighteen feet long, that is probably the
second largest in the country. The
largest one could kill and swallow q
man. It could kill horse"
"How are these fellows captured3"
"By small mesh nets. The natives
spread large net over any that they find
coiled up. The snake at once, jumps
around in frantic efforts to escape, and
becomes tangled up in the net. It is
then bound with cords and bands and
carried to the sea, and sold to some ship
captain"
"What is the market price of q
python ~
"From $25 to $50 for the ordinary
museum snake. That smaller one will
bring $3.50, but the big one will sell for
$500. I am going to South America
soon to get some of the water snakes.
They are said to measure from fifty to
seventy-fivc feet in length. None has
ever been captured.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1883-12-27
Christmas in Shetland.

Shetlanders do not speak OF Christmas
as much as of Yule. Nay, more, if you
were asking native why Yulc is kept as
a holiday. the chances are that his reply
would contain no reference whatever to
the nativity. He would simply say, it
chad aye been kept by the auld folk"-
meaning his forcfathers Be that as it
NAV, Yule is in Shetland the great holi-
day of the year, or at least was so when
l was boy. But Yule was not the 25th
of December by the modern calendar,
but the 9th of January for in the ''mclan-
choly isles Of the furthcst Thule" time
was always reckoncd according to the
"old style" We were always, therefore,
twelve days behind the rest of the civil
lied world. All that, however, is now
passing away, thanks to steamboats, and
electric telegraphs, and newspapers and
general intercourse with the South; and
| dare say Yule, the dear Iule remem-
Der so well, will ere long be known and
spoken of only as tradition, for, alto
gether, life in those islands is now very
different from what it was some fifty or
sixty years ago Chambers Journal.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1883-12-27
ThroY up Your Chin.

The whole secret of standing and
walking erect consists in keeping the
chin well away from your breast. This
throws the head upward and backward,
and the shoulders will naturally settlS
backward and in their true pssition.;
Those who stoop in walking generally
look downward. The proper way is to
look straight ahead, upon The same level
with your eyes, or if you are inclined to
stoop, until that tendency is overcome,
look rather above than below the level.
Mountainecrs are said to be "as straight
as an arrow, "and the reason is becauss
they are obliged to look upward so
much. tits simply impossible to stoop
in walking ifyou win heed and practice
this rule. You will notice that all round
Sshouldered persons carry the chin near
{ the breast and pointed downward.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1883-12-27

band of robbers, who hid no ladder
wherewith to reach the lseice Of q sec
ond-stofy window. Thel great lizard
was placed against the ro;sg well, head
toward the desired POM and Instantly
it began crawling up, eyer lally hauling
one Of the robbers safels ZIP, who was
clinging to his tail. a yetg good story,
if not true, and perhai5 possible, as
these lizards of the Nile country have
been known to drown lfge animals in
crossing.
In England-and too often in this
country-the ferret is d used iii hunt.
ing the rabbit, while the g spert rat catch
ers of this country value them as import
ant adjuncts to their mgs ri GUS business.
In the Caribbean seasons Of the fisher
men use fish-the rem the cap
ture of turtles. The is Sfthe we'll
known attendant upon IS shark, having
a disk-like sucker upon Its head with
which it clings to large Sshes. The eX-
tent to which this laborSsaving arrange
ment is used is shownii1 he fact that the
upper side of the fish, that in others is
generally dark, is light and the under
side dark. So powerful is the sucker
that fifteen or twenty pouads can be lifted
by taking the fish by the etail, and by care
fully playing in the esWateI a large turtle
can be caught. The fishermen take the
remoras out in tubMof water in their
boats, and have Leather attached
to q long line that fitted abogit the tish's
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1883-12-27

knees, looked up in his face with q won.
dering expression in her great blue eyes,
Stuyvesant Nutwood felt great thrill OF
sorrow in the knowledge that one day
this beautiful girl, with all her wealth OF.
love and ban9 9oline, would leave him for
ever. Z
sI have received d letter from Rupert
Hollingsworth, Beryl," he said.
The girl gave q sudden start, and
wave Of CRIMSON swept over the pure,
sweet face, but she did not speak.
"Can you not guess" !" he continued,
sswhat the purport of his letter is2's G
Beryl could no longer look in her.
fathers face. She knew full well why
Rupert Hollingsworth had written.
He had gore sway only two years be-
fore, in all the yigor Of his glad man,
hood, and his splendid talents lad gained
for him success where others had failed :
And now, crowned with the laurel
wreath of victory, he had written to
| her father for permission to urge ms
suit with her. She knew all thus tull
well, and yet when her father asked her
the question to which her. heart mad
already given answer. che did not reply:
seYou could never guess, little one,"
said zStuyvesant Nutwood, merry
twinkle In his eyes, "why Rupert has
written. Do you think you could 2"4
"a deeper blush oyerspread the pretty
face. ti-:l s
But I will tell you" he continued,
snebecause you two were ct college To-
gether. Still, perhaps mad better be
silent"--and again the laughing light
came into her fathers eyes. 3 z.sl +;
s'Tell me, papa whispered Beryi, no
longer able to conceal her eager1nesass,
stwhy he has written.n
che wants something" !" was the reply.
Scan you not guess what it isl"
Every fiber Of Beryl's being is throb.
bing with expectancy now. The sun has
passed from sight, and great bands OF
rosy light that stream up from below the
horizons rim cast strange halo over the
silent earth. Beryl feels the solemn IN
| fuences of the twilight hour, but no
word comes from her lips.
stCan you not guess, repeats her father,
"what Rupert Hollingsworth desiresa
For an instant she does not reply. To
answer the question in the affirmative
would seem bold and forward, and yet
can she deny, even to herself, smow1t-
edge of what Rupert desires2 So she
simply says to her father: s'Tell me what
he wants. ~ 5;;
Bending tenderly over his daughter,
stuyyesant Nutwood whispers with in.
finite pathos in her ear: Twenty-Five
dollars to get home with - Chicaga
Tribune. ~:
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1883-12-27
Rules for the Liaelkiln Club.

80
Judge Chewso arose to ask for infor-
nation. He wanted to know how strong
the fraternal ties of such club could be
considered. How far was he obligated2 z
Brother Chewso, u replied the presi-
dent, ~ will read de follerin' fun. your
benefit:
81. All meet heah on terms of equal
ity, but de member who blacks. stoves
an saws wood am not t'spected to be so
familiar as to ask de barber airnin' SIT
per week to lend him his toof pick.
,@:"2.. If you find brudder in distress,
AID him. 8 Dar am no pertickler objec-
shun to takin' mortgage on his stove In
case he wants to borroy fo' dollars in
cash, but give him leetle show befo'
fo'closin'.
n3. Excuse o brudder's faults. as fur
as you kin, b,,t.artev he has spit on your
butes about tass4-Ss.hes you kin conclude
dat he aches to be licked. .-"@ SO :,
"a. Speak we'll of each odder; avoid
wrangles an SANDER; be ready to give
good advice; encourage sobriety and in
dustry, but doan' let n man kick yer dog
simply because he sits on de stool nex'
you in Paradise Hall. "-Detroit Free
Press.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1883-12-27
PUMPKIN PIES.
Gentle stranger. lot me aaE. I

Gentle stranger. lot me aaks
Did you ever stop to bask
{ In the atmosphere OF cooking,
When q maiden fair ID looking,
Askancely from the depths
OF her linpid, azure eyes
Asshe shoyes in the big oven =
Those delicious pumpkin piesf
Ah, what ecstacies appealing
AS aromas gently stealing,
Permeate the rural kitchen
Whose confines hold fair witch IL,
Fascinating, dainty. rare
no intoxicated eyesl IS.
his the maiden, fcHr laden,
Manipulation Of the p'es.
:: Pumpkin piesl What mense7isg rtss
Even to the sunny skies, 9
As si1eopens to your eyes
The Big oyenshe did shove In
Those delicious pumpkin pies -,
Golden orbs of luscious giofys 81
Never had the world o story s
Fairer to the heart Of man,
sAy! to hearts Of mortal clan.
Than the manuscript In yellow
g Hot aud toothsone meath your eyes z
And Ifein would long to spell OH
Worldly bliss-in pumpkin pies
Quarter, half, the whole, Oh, give I'll
Icould dwell in bliss and live it 4 q.
In ON hour such as this,
All, foreverinore, I wis
Sitting inthe pleasant kitchon q
Whose confines hold fair witch In,
Fascinating, dainty, rare; &.
Askancely glaneing from her eyss,
:, At me, over pumpkin pies. #
II. s. Keller, in Detroit Free Press
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1883-12-27
ssThat,s Enougn-Stand Downs
Mistaken en-. Identity.

A farmer, living few miles from Aus
tin, whose wife was troubled with an
aching tooth, decided to come in town
with her for the purpose of having it ex-
tracted. The pair took a seat in the
cars, and soon after the train started the
farmer walked forward into the smoking
car, telling his wife he would be back di-
rectly. While her husband was absent
the conductor came leisurely along,
ticket punch in hand, and approaching
the old lady, reached over for her ticket,
whereupon the victim of the toothache
opened her mouth and taught him, say.
ing:
7sYou needn't mind giving me chloro'
form, doctor; just pull it right out, any.
how. can stand it, and when John
comes back he'll settle with. yer. ."-Syt.
e. . o.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1883-12-27
HUMOROUS SKETCHES.
Near Enough.

A Michigan girl told her young man
that she would never marry him until NJ
was worth $1O0, 900. So he started out
with q brave heart to make it. !,
z5"How are you getting on, GeorgeY'
she asked, at the expiration of. o fey
months. s.a-:
"Well," George said, hopefully, s
have saved up $22." z
The girl dropped her eyelashes and
blushingly remarked: 81 reckon that's
near enough, George. I"
ssThat,s Enougn-Stand Doyynp'
In a contest over villa certain wit,
ness was giving his evidence as to the
disposition of the testator. ~ - .'s
d Was he q good d-natured mani" asked %
the attorney. l.,.
,sts &c Not altogether -. ~ ;s,:.
g Was he cross, then2" s.c- ,ssrls
]" Well; yes, rathersin places ~ &
GH Was he very CROSSE"
:tf siderably.;n'Ef 5sss III:
,t How cross was he9s Give us an e1
ample OF his disposition. '
1s3aa Well, sir, he was that cross thal
when he called up the COWS 'at milking
time it made the milk sour" )" A
"That's enough Stand down p
Merchant IraDeler.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1883-12-27

y - 49, - y -, z 4 .-s.
"Joe, am I awake or asleep2"
"Never WIDER" he answered.
'And you'll be no longer lonely2"
s'Not bit of it." he returned, and
with that he gave her kiss that almost
deprived her Of her breath, so ardent was
it.
tsWe'll call 1t square, parson," Joe
added, when he had succeeded in getting
his lips away from those of Mrs. Kitty
Smudd.
every well," responded the minister,
with laugh. ~
When Joe and Kitty returned to the
tenement he was again astounded. =
His apartment had, during his absence,
been lig ghted up, Christmas tree. set in
box, in it, and on its branches con-
tributions of customers and neighbors,
and lots of useful gifts. Among other
things 'stoo numerous to mention" as
the auctioneers say, was gold watch,
and as much like the timepiece he saw
in his dream as one twin can look like
another. And there were also nice
things for Kitty. Her eyes sparkled
when she saw them.
t'Kitty, am I awake?" he asked,
doubtingly. "Tell me for once"
"Never WIDER" was the cheerful re-
ply.
Then the friends of the happy pair,
without pretension of any kind, but loaded
with lots of good things in the way of
eatables and drinkables, flocked in, and
presently they overspread the whole
floor, and-didn't they have q jolly time
of it, dancing and singing?
And of the gathering, no one danced
better or more gracefully than the
pleasant-faccd bride, or sang sweetcr or
more delightfully."- than the good-natured
groom.
Now all this happened this Christmas
eve one year ago, and would you believe
it, although there are three of them
now-including the olive branch-Joe
and Kitty's honeymoon is not ended, and
folks say it never will be, which is Gu
rious.
If at times the cobbler exhibits little
petulence of temper, rs the best men
sometimes will, Kitty addresses him as
Signor Giuseppe Smuddio. That re-
stores him to good humor, and his
rooms-he has more than one now, and
they are on the first stCTy- are instantly
filled with the sweecst of sweet airs, for
Joe Smudd, really and truly, has o
magnificent vocal organ.