Morning journal and courier., 1883-09-21

Niagara, is to get into the upper berth in sleeping car. It is moving and affecting spectacle to see the fat and habitually digni- fled head of family laboriously acquire pos- session of an upper berth. The trouble usually begins by the old gentlemen expostu- lating with the conductor for putting him so high up. and he begs that gilt-edged official to try and make 0 trade with some small sized man who can easily climb up the side of the car and crawl inside with little no difficulty The commanding officer of the quarter deck says he will see what he can do about it, and then he WRnders of into the blue regions of the smoking csr and shakes dice with the train boy for cigar. Mean while the fat man waits, and perspires, and fumes and curses all of the officials of the road from the president down to the section bosses
 When the conductor saunters 1eisurely back, he tells the fat man that nothing can be done; no one, he says, will exchange 8 lower berth for an upper-no, not even 1T the fat man will give something to boot. Then the dignified fat man glares st the other passengers and waits nntil they have all retired before he tries to get up into the berth.
 There are several different ways of forcing an entrance into an upper berth. You can hire the porter for two-bits to give you leg up, but this method is liable to attract attention and excite ungenerous and sarcastic reuHTkHs 1u0 QlS0lu6u 1at lfAn QaS Eo&u- lar circus. First swinging himself up by the curtain bar, he tries to so in feet first, but he can't let go the rail without tumbling back again into the aisle. The porter helps him out of this fix, and the fat man tries a new deal This time he steps on the ear of & sleeping beauty in the lower berth, and the sleeping beauty knocks the pins out from under him and the fat man retires to the wash-room to bathe his nose and abuse mo- nopolies
 Then he gets the porter to briny g camp stool he gets up on it. catches hold of the brass rod ab ove and is about to spring for the berth when the calp-stool doubles up. and, in his efforts to save himself from com ing down with a 'fd11l thud" on the floor, he wildly grabs the bell cord and that stops the train, and the conductor comes in and uses language to him, and the passengers all wake up and use more language, and the dig,ihed fat passenger even wishes he was dead or that he had more clothes on. Finally he manages to crawl into the upper berth, and he boils over with malicious thoughts and sinister desires for the bankruptcy of the railroad company. It is Q full hour before he reIapses into slumber, and then tho con. ductor comes along and punches him and his ticket; and then horrible suspicion flashes across him thht the berth may become loosened in some way from its catch, and spring up against the ceiling of the car and smother him. He sleeps no more until day light, and then he has to jump out and dress hurriedly, for the train is running into the city.
 A good stretch on the longitudinal cush- toned seats of the caboose of freight train is many points ahead of the best upper berth ever invented for palace sleeping car, and l we don't care who knows it.