Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-07-27
ALL SORTS.


A girl of the period-A female
compositor.
1t takes some headwork to manage
a "scull."
A picked nine-The quart of early
Strawberries.
1t only takes pound of muscle to
make prize-fght.
The hired girl with the dust rag is
the chair-rub of the family.
Why are seven days like spell of
sickness? Because they make ono
week.
1t is easy tC make the dull boy
smart. Cut his finger and apply salt
water.
A man whose best works are always
trampled under foot-A carpet manu-
facturer
There seems to be no call for an
exhibition or grief at circus. Yet
the audience is always in tiers.
A grayheaded employee on the
Metropolitan Railroad is called "sil-
yer top" silver being a tip-top con-
ductor.
Mr.. Henry Cake was arrested tho
other night for hammering his vito
with club. Sort of battercake, as it
We're.
''Some new picnic bas kets are lined
with white satin" So says a fashion
note. For color we would suggest
crushed custard pie.
Carmine tinted foreheads and chins
are the latest craze among the New
York bellies. To this complexion
have we come at last.
A smart young man picked uL q
flower in ball room after all the
girls had gone, and sang pathetically:
"'Tis the last rose of some her."
"a Florida man has an alligator
farm" says an exchange. By and
by this item will read: "A farm of
alligators has Florida man."
Isn't it strange that we never hear
of dynamite being used in Egypt,
where there are more Nileists than
anywhere else in the world.
To be tried for his life-The hem
pecked husband. Two cats on the
back fence meet purr-chance tho
usual way. Brought up by hand
The coal-hod.
A burglar who has climbed up to
a garret window on ladder is ar
rested by voice shouting. "Hallo,
there, what do you want?" "May
ask you for glass of fresh water?"
Don't say entry Charles" said
Mrs. Culture to her son; "'halp is
much more elegant" Next day the
young man astonished his friends by
speaking of Aid. Shaughnessy's "hall
into Office"
'That which we call arose by
another name would smell as sweet"
If you believe that just tell boy to
sleep on at 6 A. NJ. instead of calling
him to "arose," and see how much
better it suits him.
81 wished my hair cropped very
close" remarked Charles to the bar.
Der, "and," dropping his voice. "IIl
come in the last Of the week and pay
you" Charles still wears his hair
long; the barber was willing to
''shingle' but not "slate" him.
The Woman's Club, of this city,
listened to al exhaustive paper On
COAL" read by one of its members.
Reporters were not admitted, SO that
it cannot be stated whether, in the
opinion of the club, coal should be
brought up by the husband, with the
kindling, or separately.
A gentleman in Brooklyn, celebrat-
ing the birth of a daughter on the
day of the opening of the bridge,
proposed to call her Victoria, in honor
of the Queens birthday, whereupon
a friend mot an Alderman) suggested
that more appropriate name would
be Bridget Fourth joke of New
York Post.
A woman has been discovered in
New York who receives babies that
are not wanted and sells them at S.
and $40 apiece Yonkers Gazette.
If they are not wanted how does she
manage to sell 'em.1Detroit Free
Press. If the truth Of the transac-
tions were known it would prove q
'.give away Boston Courier.