Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-03-28
NUMBER 20.

A young gentleman 1T IL Els nrss
visit) has broken the ice at last by In
quiring the name of his a,lorable's little
sister to which the child replied: ETH.
el.'' ''And why, Ethel. do won keep
Letifia says sor'rs such an awful mnti''
awful pause, during which the child
strokes him down-''bht you dun's feel
like one, you KNOW"
Augustus WAS told Of an extravsgant
Roman knight who lind wasted all his
property. When his goods. were all
Soli! 1T auction Augustus commissioned
a person to bid for his pillow: Being
asked why he wished to have this arti-
Gle Of furniture in particular he replied.
'.Such pillow must be very desirable
upon which man 50 deep in debt could
sleep so soundly."
Said the father ct tho hank cashier:
My boy caught stealing! Ny boy de-
tected in dishonesty! He. the light of
my life; on whose education have
spent 90 Much care. He has disgr ICED
his family. We are ruined! Aud that
idy son should have done this: Why.
old as l am, I'll bet I'd worked it so
they'd never have found me out! Too
bad! Too badr' AMI. overcome by
emotion. the aged man wept.
Il wish was the trapper and was
tied to the stake. going to be burned
alive BY the Indians" said little Johnny
Eizzletop. who was reading dime
novel ON the sofa. ..Why do you wish
to be in such y horrible pre,licament?'
uSehH his last
chapter; the trapper scalps Jeewhi.ikins
Jim, the aYmping Jackass of Juniper
Jungle. and his indian allies. and car
ries White Fawn, the lovely maiden, Of
to his mountain fastness.' Il think
there is too much fastness. anyhow.
abuu, the boys of Austin," remarked
the mother, thoughtfully. 7eras Sifs-
ings
Bubb Doddington was very lethargic.
Falling asleep one day after dinner with
Sir Richard Temple and Lord Cobham,
ths latter rcproached Doddington with
drowsitiess. Doddington denied hav-
ing been asleep, and to prove he had
not, offered to repeat all Lord Gotham
had been saving. Gotham challenged
him to do 80. Dcdding.on repeated a
story, and Lord CoBtiaih owned ne had
been tellingit. ''Well." said Dodding-
ton. land yet did not hear word Of
it; but went to sleep because knew
that about this time of day you would
tell that story"
A customer, with wrath in his tones
and fire in his eve. entered n ready-made
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. in this city the
other day. Throwing down the bundle
he HAD bdGtht the day before, he ex-
claimed. Here, take back this suit,
and give me my money. You swore 1t
was all wool, when it is half cotton"
"Weil, / declare! Now, this is surpris-
ing. l guess the wool that cloth was
made from came from sheep raised in
the South that had BEEN allowed to run
through the cottnn-iields. That's the
Oily way We could possibly get any cot
ton in the clothing We sell here. Phil
adctphia Ghronicic- Herald.
The agent OF minstrel-show who was
travelling over the Pan-Hanllc Route
the other day happened to take seat
opposite Boston drummer: Each
wore pin with six diamonds in it and
displayed two ~atch-chains. The COIN
cidence happened to strike solid. old
fashioned farmer Ms rather curious, and
hitching along up 70 the pait: he asked:
Gentlemen. will yod give me honest
answers 70 a Question or twop' They
said they would; and he continued:
"What time is it by your four watches?'
The agent replied that he only had one
watch, and that didn't tick; while the
other confessed that he had mono ut all.
''One more question:. Did you buy
your diamond pins at the dollar stop?''
The two men looked at each other 10 n
troubled way. and then informed the
blunt questioncr that he had reached the
limit. 20. well. diiin't Intend to be
sassy" he remarked as he fell back.
..rm sparkling wilder up ID Wood
County; and | was thinking that il !
could buckle on dollar diamond and
harness two watcfi- i-Ehains around me,
she'll either kick or cave inside Of
week Wall Street NeWs.