Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-02-03
"!s gas and Venmor thrown in tho Shaae-Caul-
haa Prophet Producing Piopensities Outdonl
~ the Land OF the Little Katchet"

Virgins and Venuog thrown in tha 9Aaae-caul-
d2'a Prophet Producing PIopensities Outdonc
~ the Land OF the Little Ratchet"
-.CoITeSpoElenga oi the Alexandria GAZETTE
Virginia now makes her appearance on
lac modern stage in her ancient rolc-''The
mother great men" Mr. Ehenezer Wise
arrr, resident ni Wc:tmorcland. co., no.
ted for hi intelligence and general iniorlna.
ton. has developed som- extraordinary
powers that should not be overlooked BIZ
the people uilhis enlightened age He can
produce terrible storms Of wiui rain or
anything that he chooses, and also POSSESS.
- the power 10 prevent storms OF Canadian
":i"!m, a!i,! can even arrrs; them after they
have @a:nr,l considerable headway. This
WIN! Wizard propose, 10 visit President
Arthur an': interview him in regard to
N!%"ns gale. and VIII then advise him to
leave the N''':,ris "i The Navy at their re-
specify" stations, inaSmtclI X he himselfw
orct'rl'ir The storm AMI make Virgins COM
maj ~'lir''tr lie l. Very communicative on
tIIt subject, hut says il Is only through i
profound knowledge Of scientific rules and
methods. and the utmost skill in using such
Kn"wic't.," THAT any one need hope Ia ar-
GiIire the power he is possessed Of
In overcoming the old and fixed rules Of
lhr weather department he EMPLOYS The
same weapon that proved 50 deadly in the
ollrn time when welded hv the s;inewy arm
oi' sampson he first procurcs the jaw-bone
Ola dciunct jlckuSs (which animal seems
TO flourish in his immediate vicinilvj and
having reduced il TO Il fine powder, he builds
large fire and sprnkles the powder in the
flames: at the same time going through q
certain form OF incarnation that would par.
a|NIc aupp!c..iark, moaning forth Il suppl-
cation ioa list Of gods that would throw 4
mythological student into Slasms, and crea-
ting stencil that might we'll be supposed
to come direct from the realms of Pluto.
This Is no scientific chimcra, for Ebcnezer
has demonstrated his powers, TO his own
satisfaction at least having stirred up the
clements to such an extent that boats were
deinolis hed, fences blown down, crops ruin
ed and several lives placed in jeopardy.
In arrcStin@ or preventing Il storm he first makes
collection al masculine eats. and having satisfied
himself that their vocal attannentS qualify them
Tor Hic!i important instruments Us he proposes to
make Of them. he anoints each charming feliue
with generous amount OF gaS-tar: them having
produced Il Su!phurouS- smclling rumpouud by
crcmating one Of Bob lngcrsolIS lectures he dusts
hls on their glossy coats; they then ready for
the air'blh which consists in combining the whole
collection III large basket. and hosting them to
the top ola saf erected for the purpose
The enhancing melodies that issue from that
basket, would shame the brass band at \ Sunday
school celebrations even the wondering son or
Italy who griadS ont the sweet airs of his native
land. could he but hear Ebcnazrrs choir would
find that he had missed his calling; the approach.
ing gale is checked in its wild career rauSe, put
subsidies. vami>hes.
We arc well aware that there are ignorant peo-
Pie who will scotl at this account of the perform
anrrI ri Il great man, but he is too Ear above the
vulgar herd 10 give heed 10 their rawlings. He
! 'ndrrd a nam OF the day Having shot at the
Marquis Of l-"riir, during his recent visit 10 Rich
nnnd besides having been ia the ASYLUM two ar
thrce times III Congress once. married once d.
rorce'l. severely injured by railway accident,
hr i now studying law.
There j. bare possibility that Wiseacre is
mite vi IL that ease there is ouly Que reason 10
give for his prcuiari,es 'aahuia'' A.
HOLSTERS. Va