davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13
Ne Swan into The ldm,uIty.

During a terrible naval battle be
tween the English aud Dutch, the
English flag ship, commanded by AID.
miral Marlborough, was drawn into the
thickest Of the fight. The masts were
soon shot away, and the mainmast fell
with a fearful crash upon the deck.
Admiral Marlborough saw that all was
los; unless he could bring up HE ships
from the right. Hastily scrawling an
order, he called for volunteers TO
swim across the boiling water under
tho hail Of shot and she'll. A dozen
sailors at once offered their services,
aud among them was a cabin boy.
"Why," said the admiral, "what
can you do, my fearless lad p
IL can swim, SIR" the boy replied;
"if | be shot, l can be easier spared
than any one else"
Narborough hesitated; his men
men were few and his position was
desperate. The boy plunged into the
sea amid the cheers Of the sailors and
was soon lost TO sight. The battle
ragged fercer, and, as time went on,
defeat seemed inevitable. But just
as hope was fading, n laundering can
nonade was heard from the right, and
the reserve we're seen bearing down
upon the enemy. BY sunset the Dutch
feet was scattered far and vide, and
the cabin. boy, the hero Of the b our,
was called to receive the honor due
him. His modesty and bearing so
won the heart Of the old admiral that
he exclaimed
II shall live To see you have flag
ship Of your own"
The prediction was fulfilled when
the boy, having become Admiral
Cloudesley Shovel, was knighted by
the King.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13
No AooLooies.

Apologies for poor dinners are gen.
orally out af place; but when a lady
has forgetful husband, who, without
warning, brings home dozen guests
TO sit down TO a plain family dinner
prepared for three or four, il is not in
human nature to keep absolute 81
lence. What to say, and how to say
il, form the problem. Mrs. Tucker,
the wife Of Judge Tucker, Of Will
iamsburg, solved this problem years
ago. She was the daughter or neice
Of Sir Peyton Skipworth, and cele.
brated for her beauty, wit, ease, and
grace of manner. Her temper and
tact we're put to the proof one court
day, when the Judge brought the &C.
customed halfscore Of lawyers, for
whom not the slightest preparation
had been made, the Judge having
quite forgotten to remind his wife that
it was court-day, and she husself,
strange to tell, having overlooked the
fact.
The dinner was served with ele-
gance, and Mrs. Tucker made herself
very charming. Upon rising to leave
the guests, she said:
Gentlemen, you have dined to-day
with Judge Tucker; promise me that
you will dine tomorrow with me-"
This was all of her apology, where
upon the gentlemen all said that such
wife was beyond price. The Judge
then explained the situation, and the
next day there was noble banquet.
Moral; Never worry guest with
your apologies. [Lippincott's Maya
zine,
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13
The DeGf landlord

"Poker Bill" tells Of boarding
house keeper who is afflicted with a
very convenient degree Of deafness.
He hears only when 1t is for his adj
vantage 10 do so, and is apt TO misun.
derstand 10 his own interest. Bill
gives the following instance Of this
perversity;
when | went to breakfast yester
day morning, ] went up to the counter
and asked my landlord IL anybody had
called to ask for me
"Says the landlord: 1T will be
just thirty-iiye dollars at the end Of
this week.
"Said l. Has there been a man
here to see me this morning-a one.
eyed mani
"GIad you want to pay il now; |
need money very badly says my
landlord.
Then yelled; Has anybody
asked for me this morning."
"No, ! don't want to sue you, but |
shall expect the money next Monday,
sure, says my landlord"
"'All right, I'll pay you yelled L.
"'You needn't yell in that way. l
am little deaf, ! know, but can
still hear ii thunder, says my land
lord"
Then comes in another boarder,
and says Good morning"
"'Pll see in a minute, says the
landlord; 4 believe it's only about fif.
teen dollars"
$50 it goes right along. I'm go.
ing to pay up next Monday, says Bill,
and you bet Ill never stop with an
other deaf landlord-not if l know
it"-[Virginia City (Nev Enter.
prise.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

A small boy was once Chided by
his Venerable Grandmother because
he preferred lying abed to going to
Sunday.school. Grandmother" the
Boy said, "the Christmas and Santa
Claus season has Passed. / have Con.
cluded not to Worry any More about
my Immortal Souls Welfare until
just before the Sunday-school picnic
season recurs."
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

A ST. Louis man Of wealth, being
about to undergo a dangerous surgi-
cal operation, sent for a lawyer to
draw a will. He coolly aud carefully
explained that his only relatives were
nieces. who had firmly convinced him
that they cared nothing for him aside
from his money, and that he hal long
before decided to leave them nothing.
His reason for previously making no
will was that he had not decided
whom 10 enrich, or whether he shoLld
let his estate go TO charities. In view
OF possibly fatal result the surgeons
work, howoyer, he would devise every
thing 10 his landIady. who had taken
excellent care Of him and was de.
serving woman. 1t was clear that, in
case he recovered, he meant to destroy
the document. Nevertheless it was
drawn with legal care, witnessed by
the several physiciaus. and signed by
the testator He died within an hour,
Wills are contested before iuries in
Missouri, and the nieces won YER
diet against the will; but the Court Of
Appeals decides that there was no
reason for believing that it was made
under any undue influence or fraud,
aud there fore il must stand.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

A young woman in Bradford coun
ty, Pa, went before a Justice of the
Peace with the man of her choice and
several witnesses, aud made herself,
a wife, satisfactorily to herself, by a
simple promise of fidelity, claiming
nothing from her spouse as a legal
right, and insisted upon no ceremony.
There were no VOWS given under the
form of the law, aud no pledges. The
Justice took no part in the marriage,
but sat in the room only as a witness.
This bride is evidently depending on
her conversational powers to keep her
mate in subsection.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13
RinnL comed,nns.

IL was formerly customary to make
the Grave digger in Hamlet" a com
ic character, and all sorts Of tricks
we're effected for that purpose. Among
other comicalities it was held sacred
that he should wear an indefinite
number Of waistcoats Paul Bedford,
in his "reminiscences" related how
he acted once at Nottingham. Ed.
ward Wright was First Grave digger,
Paul Second. The First Grave-dig-
ger prepared himself to take the
town by storm, by having incased his
person within a dozen waIstcoats OF
all sorts, shapes aud patterns. When
about to commence the operation Of
digging the grave for the fair Ophelia
the chief began TO unwind by taking
off waistcoat after waistcoat which
caused uproarious laughter among the
audience. But as the chief digger
relieved himself of one waistcoat,
Paul, the boy digger, incased himself
in the cast-off vests which increased
the salyos OF laughter, for, as No. l
grew thinner, No. 2 grew fatter and
fatter. Wright seeing himself out.
done, kept on the remainder of the
waistcoats and commenced digging
0phelia a grave.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13
$3.50 PER- ANNUNI.
The BAD Boy H0aIn.

"Well, you are the meanest boy |
ever heard Of, }" said the grocery man.
"But about your pas dancing a clog
dance In church Sunday The minis
ter's hired girl was in here after some
goldfish yesterday morning and she
said the minister said your pa had
scandalized the church 10 the worst
way" ~ W.
30, he didn't dance in church. lie
was little excited; that's all. You
see, pa chews tobacco, and its pretty
bard on him to sit all through the ser.
mon without taking a chew, and he
gets nervous. He always reaches
around in his pistol pocket when they
stand up to sing the last time, and
feels in his tobacco-box aud gets out
a chew and puts it in his mouth when
the minister pronounces the benedic
ton. He always does that. Well,
my chum had a present on Christmas
Of a music-box, just about as big Ms
pas tobacco-box, and all you have to
do is to touch spriug aud il plays
she's a Daisy. She's a Dumping |
borrowed il aud put it in pas pistol
pocket, where he keeps his tobacco
box, and when the choir got most
through singing pa reached bis hand
in his pocket and began to tumble
around for a chew. He touched the
spring, and just as everybody bowed
their heads 20 receive the benediction
and il was 80 still you could hear a
gum drop-the music-box began 10
play, and in the stiffness il sounded as
loud as a church organ Wei, / just
thought ma would sink. The miuis
ter heard it, aud he looked toward pa,
and everybody looked at pa, too, and
pa turned rel. and the nusic-box
KEEP, ~ Shes a Dsisy. aud the min
is,er looked mad and said Amen, aud
people began TO put on their. coats,
aud the minister told the deacon 20
hunt up the source of that worldly
music. and they took pa into the room
back Of the pulpit and searched him,
and ma says pa will have to bechurcb
ed. They kept the music-box and |
have got to carry in coal to get money
enough to buy my chum a new music
box.-rPeck's Sun.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

~ recommend an act, in substance
providing. that who ever wilfully and
deliberately does an act with intent to
de rail moving train, propelled by
steam on any railroad, shall, upon con
viction thereof, suffer death. Such u
man is in his heart a thousand times,
it may be, a murderer OF innocent
men, women and children, who have
done and can do him no harm. -
From Gov. b f Buffers Inaugural
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13
Flowers in the Fashionable World.

There is at least one thing natural
in the fashionable life in New York
the flowers. Never was money spent
more freely in floral decorations than
it has been this season.
The prevailing taste for flowers has
a breath and touch of nature in it
that is sweet and fresh, and is as pleas
ant in the drawing room as the smell
of newly-ploWed land in the fields on
a day in spring.
We read of flowers at balls, flowers
at receptions, flowers at weddings.
Here were roses, hyacinths, and lilies
placed in large Persian jars and vases;
there young ladies' at the ball carried
as many as six bouquets apiece; and at
third place was marriage ceremo.
ny under floral canopy ornamented
with five large bells of flowers. This
happy pair, We suppose, look forward
with confidence to life FIVE times as
happy as that which is said to be
"merry as a marriage bell."-[N. Y.
Ledger.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

A young member OF the Bowling
Green bar was asked by a humor
ously inclined old practitioner, "what
ought to be done with man who had
committed suicideg" The budding
young Blackstone studied for a mo.
ment and replied; swell, Judge, |
think he ought to be made TO support
the child."-[Bowling Green Demo.
crat.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13
Ihe Man Who Succeed.

The great difference among men, OF
all callings, is energy Of character, or
the want Of il. Given the same
amount Of learning and integrity. and
the same opportunities. and energy
will make one man a conqueror. The
want Of il will see the other total
failure. Dead beats are all men
without force. They had as good a
chance as any Of their companions.
Oilers went ahead and carried off the
prizes, while they were lying by the
wayside dispirited aud respondent. 1t
takes nerve, vim, perseverance, pa
tient continuance in well doing to win
great prize. And the young man
who goes into profession without
this pluck and force will not earn salt
to his porridge. He will drag along
through life with the help of friends,
getting some credit with them for be.
ing a we'll meaning man, in delicate
health and unlucky. The reable trou.
bic is he lacks energy. All the learn.
ing in the world will not qualify IA
man for usefulness. Ii requires push,
stamina, vigor, courage, resolution,
will, determinalion-in one word
energy.-[N. Y. Observer.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

There was new departure few
nights since at McMinnville, Tenn. to
raise money to buy a church organ
The plan devised was sale Of the
young ladies TO the highest bidder.
The young men were out en- masse.
and one by one the iair ladies were
knocked down by the auctioneer to
the highest bidder. Many of the
bellies brought fabulous prices, ono &C.
static bachelor bidding. heaven and
earth" for the girl a. bis choice AZ
barter was not taken, he VAS required
10 make his bad IN dollars aud cents,
which he dad in a handsome price aud
got his prize The sale resulted in
plenty of money aud lots of iun.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

Fame is sol such very great thing.
Mr. McKepzie, of Kentucky, asked
me if I remembered the death OfTom
Marshall, at Versailles. aud his last
words did not, 50 he told me.
Marshall said as he turned his face to
the window: This is the endl am
dying on a borrowed bed, under a
borrowed blanket, in house built by
public chsriryl Bury me under that
oak tree where there is plenty of
room have been crowded all my
lite - Denver Tribune.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

A man may smile like al angel
when he suddenly gets an ice-ball on
the neck; hut he will become asfurious
as a wild Indian when he dons his
overeoat in the morning aud finds that
his wife has forgotten to sew on the
vital button, rs he requested the even
ing before.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

Thousands bear witness to the positive
curative powers Of the Great German In
vigorator See advertisement Sold by
Penny 4 McAlsier. Stanford, Ky.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

A story is told of Daniel Webster,
who once had the whole stage from
Baltimore 10 Washington, with no.
companion save the driver and con
templated that worthys forbidding Wis
age with very uneasy mind. He
had nearly reasoned his suspicious
fears away, when they came to the
dark wood between Bladensburg and
Washington, when Mr.. Webster felt
his courage oozing out Of his finger
ends as he thought what place il was
for a murder. Suddenly the driver
turned toward him and roughly de-
manded his name. IL was given.
Then he wanted to know where he
was going. ITO Washington; | am a
Senator said Daniel. expecting his
worst thoughts were near realization.
The driver grasped him by the hand,
saying, How glad | am, mister, to
hear that; I've been properly scared
for the last hour. for when | looked at
you / felt sure you were a highway
man.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

There are 34,794 pensioners in Mas
sachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire
and Vermont, and the aggregate of
their pensions is SO, 81, 1866 year.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

IL understand that MIS- Langtry
has shortened her skirts two inches in
Rosalind and seats are now 50 each"
said Janauschek's business agent, to
the distinguished tragedienne. "Rath'
err high price for two inches" retort-
ed Madame severely, as she looked
over her glasses with frown.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

Last Saturday evening 29 lepers
were sent from the branch leper hos
pital to Molokai by the steamer
Mokolii. The steamer anchored of
the marine railway and the lepers
were broughtfrom thehospital in drsgs
and taken to the little jetty at the
quarantine grounds, from which they
were carried in boats to the Mokolii:
There was one Chinaman in the lot;
the others natives, sixteen males and
twelve females. A large number Of
people were gathered at the hospital
to see their friends, and later, at . o'c.
when the lepers we're taken to the
steamer, they assembled on the shore
to bid the unfortunates last farewell.
There was considerable wailing by
those on shore, and the parting was
an affecting one, Il Honolulu Satur-
day Press.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

The Ashland Independent says:
Some of our exchanges seem to be un
der the impression that Craftand Neal
have not been tried and found guilty.
Whereas they were found guilty by a
jury Of the best citizens of this county
after Il fair aud exhaustive trial, and
though thirteen months have elapsed
since the murders, several of the sharp
est lawyers in the State, aided by all
that money could do, have been una
bic to find one clue that would con
meet any one else with the crime,
while in addition to the confession Of
Ellis, the proof OF the conspiracy and
planning of the rape, every bit of the
great array of cIrcumsiancial evidence
confirmed and corroborated the testi
mony that they were the guilty par
Ties. ....
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

1t is said that Justice Bradley will
resign his seat on the Supreme Bench
before the 9th Of March.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

About 8 o'clock last night not a
man was visible on Main street. They
we're oil rushing for seat on a stove.
At the Office Of the Montana Lum-
Der Company this morning, at 10 O..
clock, thermometer hung up on the
wall, within four feet Of red hot
stove, registered IA degrees below
freezing point.
In one Of the Butte restaurants the
cooking department is board add
ton standing out from the main build
ing, aud though the stove this morn
ing was made red hot, the Chinaman
was unable to cook some hot cakes.
They frozs solid on the griddle, and
had to be chopped of with a Ratchet.
A prominent citizen went to the
hydrant this morning to draw buck
ct of water, and in returning to the
house spilled little OF its contents,
into which he accidentally put one
foot. Before be could make another
step hewss frozen to the ground and
was compelled to leave his boot in the
road and hop into the house on one
eg.- Butte (Montana) Inter. Ocean.
What is claimed to be the largest
pension paid to one person in the Uni
ted States has been settled in st. Lou
is. The pensioner was honorably dis
charged from the army in 1864 on ac'
count of injuries, and in four days
thereafter he became totally blind,
and has so remained ever since. His
case has been pending for l6 years.
The aggregate sum accruing to date,
and which he received, was 80 063. AZ.
He will hereafter receive during his
life s74 per month.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

A COMING FASHION Our fash
ion-makers announce knee-breeches
as impending. One young man is
said to have already provided himself
with them. If the fashion takes rap.
IDLY, so much padding will be requir-
ed that We fear there will be a corner
in cork. and sawdust. Nature has not
been as liberal to us in all respects as
she was to our grandfathers, nor as
liberal as to some Of our present sis
teTe.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13
BUILDERS MATERIAL
ARCHITECT,

And am prepared to furnish designs and estimates
for buildings aud all kinds Of scroll work.
That am doing no small business, can he judg-
Ell from the fact that my bank account runs from
81 500 20 81 900 per week.
Contracting aud building done promptly and At
living prices. Address
70-eot-lyr q. n. SDAFfOhD.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

The remark Of the pious Eneas, the
classic exclamation, "Horresco refer
ens"-"I shudder to relate '-is sup.
posed to be the prototype of the mod.
ern expressions, II should blush to
murmur," Il should litter to ejacu.
late" c.-[Lowell Citizen.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-02-13

Missouri Is about 10 speud $50, 900
in finding out about herself. She sus-
poets that she contains some of the
richest ores on earth, and geologist
is to make a thorough investigation.
Her soil is peculiarly rich and has
commonly been regarded as a decom
position Of limestone aud sandstone;
but scientific analysis win now for
the first time determine the question.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1883-03-15
Nrm anbfrtisrmtnts.

the ATTENTION Of INVESTnpe
IL called to the shares of THE GREAT 81 vno
LIVE STOCK COMPANY as a means for 80 .aIAs
and profitable investment OF sums of siO M s'e
and non assessable Company chartered hr a "a pad
laws of Colorado. Interest at the rate q, 81 IA
per cent per annum, PAYABLE quarterly The s. -
managers, with full particulars sent on annI;.n
to The Great Plains Live Stock Co '-'0A
mar6d&wlm Da,,,
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1883-03-15
HOW WATCHES ARE MADE.

1t will be apparent to any one, who will
examine SOLID GOLD WATCH, that aside
from the necessary thickness for engraving
and polishing, large proportion of the
precious metal used is needed only to stiffen
and hold the engraved portions in place and
supply the necessary solidity and strength.
The surplus gold is actually needless far
as utility and beauty are concerned. In
JAMES BOSS PATENT GOLD WATCH
CASES, this waste of precious metal is over
come, and the SAME soLIDTTY AND STRENGTH
produced st from one third to one-half of the
usual cost of solid cases. This process is of
the most simple nature, as fellows: plate
of nickle composition metal, especially
adapted to the purpose, has two plates OF
SOLID GOLD soldered one on each side. The
three are then passed between polished steel
rollers, and the result is strip of heavy
plated composition, from which the cases,
backs. centres, bezels, &C., are cut and
shaped by suitable dies and formers. The
gold in these cases is sufficiently thick to adj
NIT of all kinds of chasing, engraving and
enamellng; the engraved cases have been
carried until worn perfectly smooth by time
and use without removing the gold.
THIS is THE ONLY CASE MADE
WITH TWO PLATES OF SOLID GOLD
AND WARRANTED BY SPECIAL GER
TIFICATE.
For sale by all Jewellers. Ask for Illus
trated Catalogue and to see warrant. ly43