, 1883-06-23
THAT ElD BOY.

W nat you me IN, DONE' sllu the
grocery man. "Don't east any re.
Elections on such noble association.
They don't drink, do thcy?"
"Drink Oh, no !They don't drink
anything intoxicating, but when il
comes to soda they food themselves.
You know there has been a national
convention Of delegates from all, the
Young Mems Christian Associations
OF the whole cOuntry-about three
hundred-here, and our store is right
on the street where they passed four
times day, and | never saw such
appetites for soda. There has been
one continual fizz in our store since
Wednesday. OF course, If Il man
winks when / ask him what flavor
he wants, and says never mind /
know enough to put in brandy. But
! wouldn't smuggle it into Il man for
nothing. This Christian Association
convention has caused a GOODNESS be-
tween pa and ma, though"
"How's that? Your pa isn't jealous
IS hep and the grocery man came
around from behind the counter to
get the latest gossip to retail to the
hired girls who traded with him.
Jealous nothin'," said the boy, as
he took few raisins out of box.
"You see, the delegates were shufiled
p11f IN all fbn pl,,,r,,I, ,,,,.,,,1.,, 4. II
care Of, and they dealt two to ma,
and she never told paanything about
it. They came to supper the first
night, and pl didn't get home, so
when they went to the convention
in the evening ma gave them a night.
key, and pa came home from the
bOXing-match about eleven O'Clock,
and ma was asleep. Just as pa got
most of his clothes OFF, he heard
IsOmebody fumbling at the front door,
Nand he thought it was BURGERS. Pa
has got nerve enough. when he is on
the inside Of the house and the bur-
glars are on the outside. lie opened
a awindOw and looked out, and saw
two suspicious-looking characters
trying to pick the lock with a sllele-
ton key, and he picked up a new
wdter-pitcher that ma had bought
the last time when we moved, and
dropped it down right between the
two delegates. Gosh, if it had hit
one Of them there would have been
the solemnest funeral you ever saw.
just as it struck they got the door
opened and came in the hall, and the
wind was blowing pretty hard, and
they thought acyclOne had taken the
cupOla off the house. They were
talking about being miraculOusly
saved, and trying to strike a match
on their wet pants, when pa went to
the .head Of the stairs and pushed
over wire stand filed with pOtted
plants, which struck pretty near the
the delegates, and one Of them said
the house was coming down sure,
and they'd better 90 into the cellar,
and they went dOwWand got behind
the furnace. PA called me up and
wanted me TO go down in the cellar
and tell the burglars we were onto
them, and for them to get out, but /
wasn't very well, 50 pa locked his
door and went to bed.
81 guess it must have been half an
hOur before pas cold feet woke ma
up. and then pa told her not to move
for her life, cause there were two Of
the savagest-looking burglars that
ever was rummaging over the house.
Ma smelled pas breath to see If he
had got to drinking again, and then
she got up and hid her oroide watch
in her shoes, and her Oonallska ear
rings in the Bible, where she said no
burglar would ever find them, and
pa and ma laid awake till daylight,
and then pa said he wasn't afraid,
and he and ma went down cellar.
Pa stood on the bottom stair and
looked around, and one Of the dele
gltcs said: Mister, is the .orm over,
and is your family safe?' and ma re-
cognized the voice, and said: 'Why,
it's one Of the delegates. What you
doing down there" and then ma ex-
planned it, and pa apologized, and
. The delegate said it was no matter,
rs they had enjoyed themselves real
well in the cellar. Ma was mortified
m9st to death, but the delegates told
hcF il was all right. She was mad at
pa fist, but when she saw tile broken
water pitcher on the front steps, and
the potted plants in the hall, She
wanted to kin pa, and 1 guess she
would only for the society Of the
delegates. She couldn't help telling
pa he was a baId-headed old fool ,,but
pa didn't retaliate. lie is too much
Of gentleman to talk back in COM
pany. All he said was that a woman
who is old enough to have delegates
sawed Off on her ought to have sense
enough to tell her husband, and then
they all drifted off into conversation
about the convention and the box
ing match, and everything was all
right on the surface; but after break
fast, when the delegates went to the
convention, l noticed pa went right
down town and bought new water
pitcher, and some more plants. Pa
and ma didn't speak all the forenoon,
and guess they wouldn't up to this
time, only mas bonnet came home
from the milliner's, and she had to
have money to pay for it. Then she
called pa pet and that settled it.
When ma calls pa pet, that is twen-
ty-flve dollars. Dear old darling,'
means fifty dollars. ."-IPckS SIN.