The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-01

He had on an oil-skin hat fastened under
the chin, and his rubber overcoat but
toned up to the throat. noticed also
that his sleeves were fastened at the
wrists with rubber bands.
"Why, deacon" I said. "what In the
wide world ID the matter? Has It begun
TO snow; OF are you going to tire?'
He; made no reply, but beckoned me
to follow him into the kitchen. Then
saw he had the matter reduced to what
the newspapers would call a fine point
On the kitchen table stood large wash
tub, tilted up on one edge, aud beside it
were arranged two glasses and dozen
bottles of cider.
Deacon" remarked edo you think
am going to drink a half gallon Of"
NOW. Just watt" said the deacon.
"mebbe YOU won't get as much as. YOU
want" With that he grasped one of the
bottles, held its neck down into the tub.
and, turning his head sideways as if he
expected shell to explode in his near
neighborhood, twisted the wire that
held the cork. The shock made me
start and catch my breath. The cider
seemed to turn summersault in getting
into that washtub. When the deacon
lifted his face toward me he looked as if
he had been rescuing SOM body from
the breakers. All the cider that didn't
remain in the tub was clinging to, his
gray whiskers and eyebrows and drip
ping from the edges of his old storm
hat. When he turned the bottle upside
down over the glass there wasn't enough
cider left to cover the bottom. Twelve
times did that old man 90 through that
terrible experience, and when he turned
triumphantly from the last heroic effort
he had the appearance of an omnibus
driver on asleety night. About ten bot
ties and half Of that cider waa in the
washtub, on the kitchen furniture and
over the deacon. The rest had been
captured.
'That's mighty good cider, Parson,
when you can catch it," he said, az he
nopped his face with the kitchen towel
and took off his waterproof. but, Par
sou, don't you ever put raisins in your
cider to keep it sweet? 1t don't hurt the
cider; but fellow don't want to chase
bottle of cider around a wash tub like
young Collin ten-acre pasture. There's
a little too much excitement in the fun.
Besides, Parson'', he said. drawing lit.
lie closer and speaking In a low, conf
dental tone, II don't mind telling you,
but that cider keeps me awake nights
don't know what to do whit. There's
about six dozen bottles in the cellar, and
the family all dread the place as if it was
filled with torpedoes or with lot of
those internal machines that wind up
like an eight-dav clock. Why, Parson,
it's perfectly awful! My wife went in
there on Tuesday to get wash-board,
and one of these old cidar bottles blew
its whole head off Just because she
brushed It with her frock. You can
hear EN- burst in the dead of night.
don't dare to breathe hard when
I'm among those bottles. It's like a fel-
low planting colony offspring guns in his
melon-patch, and then forgetting where
they are. II you 90 past the door in u
hurry you'll hear a spiteful pop and 4
fiz like soda-fountain in fit Of insah-
ity. don't want any more Ohio cider.
It's good enough, but there's too much
anxiety about it. I'd rather take care
Of twins than another barrel OF it. Hark!
do You hear that? That's the kind Of
sharp,shooting they do all the time!
There's another one! When I go in
there I cover my face with the lid of
that old wash:boiler, and sneak around
on tiptoe as If l was burglar. We're
afraid to take the bottle out all at once
for dread of a general explosion! I'd
rather sleep with pint of nitro.glycer-
inc! ! look cheerful, Parsou but its un-
dermining my constitution! Must you
90? won't ask you 70 take any more
cider, because I can't go through that
tidal wave oftener than once u day.
Hea: that! They're fearfully stirred IT,
tonight. Well, goodnight. You needn't
speak Of this foolishness, Parson. What
ever you do, don't put raisins in your
cider"
"Ah!' said the Parson, 'there's the
bell; it's time for evening lecture"