News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-10-11
THE BAD BOY AND HIS PA.
THE BOY TRIES TO PLAY PRODIGAL
son.
Instead of Fatted Calf He Gets Kicked
with Loaded CaIf-SIxins


Hello, got back again, have you
said the groceryman to the bad boy, as
he came in the store looking tired, with
his cl. thes soiled, and a general appear
ance of having been sleeping in freight
cars with cattle. "YOur pa told me he ex-
pected you had run away for good and
that you might not come back. Where
you been?"
"Chicago," said the boy, as he took
out toad stabber knife and proceeded
to take the ulster off n smoked herring.
"Been playing Prodigal Son in two acts.
But times have changed since that young
fellow i'll the Bible went off on tear
and came back and the old folks killed a
young COW for him to eat, and fell on
his shirt collar and cried down the back
of his neck. They don't receive Prodl-
gal sons that way in our ward. They
fill prOdigal sons coat tails full OF boots
and he can find cold veal enough IN the
house to make a sandwich.
81 thought your folks were plous and
would be inclined to overlook anything,
said the groceryman, rs he charged the
herring and crackers to the bad boy S
father ''You don't mean to tell me they
went back on the teachings of the good
"You have guessed it the first time ?
said the boy. This prodigal son bust
ness is all right in theory, but i'll prac-
tice it's a dead failure. You see, at Sun
day school the lesson was about the
prodigal son, and the minister told us all
about how the boy took all the money
he could scrape up and went away to a
distant country and painted the towns
red, and spent Lis money like Il country
man at a circus, and how he took i'll all
the sights, and got broke, and got hun
cry and took job at the stock yards
feeding pigs, and he was so hungry he
used to help the pig eat their ratiOns,
and finally he thought of his home,
where they had pie and he went home
expecting to be fired ont, but his pa was
tickled to see him, and set up a free
lunch of calf on the half shell, and
Rugged the boy and made him feel
bully. When we got home pa aud ma
talked about the lesson, and pa said it
was one of the most touching things he
ever heard and tCld me to think of it
and it would do me good Well, the
more [ thought of it the more l felt like
trying the prodigal business on, and [
told my chum about it, and he said he
hadn't had any vacation and he would
go off prodigaling with me if l would go,
and We could see the country, and have
Il good time and come back and be re-
celved with open arms. Well, we got
all our money together and brakeman
on freight train that goes to our church,
cause his wife sings in the choir, he hid
us in the caboOse, and we went to Chi
cagO. Oh, my! but we had a good
time. L never saw money wither the
way it did with us. We eat about twenty
times day, the first two days, and then
our appetites left us, because we didn't
have any more money. The first two
nights we slept in two shilling lodging
house, the third night we walked around
and the fourth night we slept in the po-
lice station. When our money was
gone half the fun was gone. If a fellow
can walk around with money in his
pocket, he feels good, even if he dom
want to buy anything, but when the
money is gone, he feels bad, and wants
to buy lots of things. We waited two
days for our brakeman, and when we
got on his train he put us in cattle car,
and it was vile. [ traded my collar
button for postal card, and wrote to pa
that the prodigal would put in an APP
pearance at 8 p. m, and for him to pre-
pare to fall on my neck, and to send
down to the meat market for a hind
quarter of fatted calf, and have plenty
of gravy. You wouldn't believe it, but
there was no carriage at the depot, and
we had to walk home. l could have
overlooked that, if there had been any
thing to eat when l got to the house,
bat there wasn't enough for a. Canary
bird. Pa WIS there, however, and was
lust going to hold out my neck Tor pa to
get on to weep, when he grabbed II
with his hand and came near twisting 1t
Oft, and then he turned me around and
began to play the bass drum on my
clothes with his feet. | never was so
ANNOYED in all my life, honestly. 1t was
not the treatment | had right to ex-
poet, after they had told me about the
prodigal son Of ancient times. AS quick
as | could catch my breath | asked pa
what he thought the prodi9al son of the
Bible times would have thought if his
pa had mauled him when he came home,
and what kind of a story 1t would have
made. if it had told about the old man
taking him by the neck and kicking him
all over the room instead of falling on
his neck and weeping, and giving him a
veal p t pie. Pa said he wasn't running
any old back number prodigal sons, and
he thought his way was the best, and
he sent me to bed without any supper.
That settles the prodigal business with
Heunery. No more fatted calf for Hank,
if you please and the boy got up and
shook the herring peelings off his lap.
"Well, how did your chum come
out?" asked the grocery man, with much
interest.
con, he hasn't come out yet. He is
in the lookup" said the boy. Ellis ma
put the police onto him, and when he
showed up they run him into the police
station for tramp. [ think we have
both demonstrated that this climate
does not agree with the prodigal bust
Hess, and however much they may try
to teach us the beauties of such stories,
they do not expect us to try and initiate
them. When | go to Chicago after this
| shall go i'll a parlor car, with lunch
enough to last me, and return ticket.
| don't understand it at all. Now [ did
not do half the mean things III Chicago
that the PrOdigal son of old did in the
far off country, and yet he got tatfy
Nlltn hC SOI hOLhCy anu L SOU my spine
broke. 1t may be all right, but they do
things different in the old country, you
know.
elf [ understand the kind of a Prodi-
gal son You are, said the grocery man,
as he sprinkIed the floor from a wash
basin, preparatory to the semi-annual
sweeping out, "you have got even with
your pa before this, for his outrageous
treatment. That is, mind you, don't
suggest anything for you to play on him,
but from what [ know Of you, the ac-
count is evened up before now. Am [
right?"
"WelI, I should remark. Any person
who thinks [ cannot resent such an in
suit, makes a mistake as to the sort of q
prodigal son [ am. We had company at
dinner to-day, and pa is always i'll his
element when we have company. He
prides himself on his carving. We had
a roast of beef, and before it went on
the table | took the steel that pa sharp
ems the carving knife on, and made two
holes right through the roast, and then
! took Il rawhidc whip that pa basted me
with once, cut 1t in two and run pieces
of the rawhlde in the holes of the beef.
Pa began carving with a smile, and
asked the minister if he would have his
beef rare, or an outside piece. He was
hearing gently on the carving knife.
when the knife struck the rawhide and
1t wouldn't 60 any further. Pa smiled
and sad he guessed he had struck a
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