The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1883-09-15
NAsBY IN OHIO.
He Makes n Speech Which Proves 70 be q
Regular Boomerang.

He Makes q Speech Which Proves TO be q
Regular Boomerang.
The fust pint struck was Peterville,
in the Southern part NV the State.
wuz reserved with open arms, ez every
troo apossel Of Dimocrisy is in that
sort Nv village. The place is very
like the Corners, the biznis consistin
mostly Nv grosery or two, and the
inhabitance bein, ez a roll, statesmen
whose wives do the heft NV the work
while they are devisia ways and means
to pay orf the Nashnel debt, leenin
again sign posts or sittin contempla-
lively on dry goods boxes whittlin the
rosy hours away. In sich places Di-
mocrisy alluz runs rampant. Their is
where we git our heaviest majorities.
The yoosual meetin' wuz called, and
after conference with the principal
grosery keepers, it wuz desidid that |
shood speek upon the infamous Scott
law, which taxes the 'sloon keepers
Ssoo for the privilege NV getting mort
cages upon ther nabor's farms. ac-
cedid to ther request, for ther amt
anything which kin so stir the blood NV
the avrige Dimocrisy ez law which
tends to embarrass the dispenser NV the
elixir Nv life and hamper them in any
way.
II wuz good meetin'. I'her wuz
present all the citizens NV the village
and all the farmers from the keniry ad-
jacent, and | had good hopes Nv sowin'
seed which would bring forth harvest
in October.
fortified myself with fax and figgers
and opened out onto them.
"Feller citizens" commenced,
"Dimocrisy is the champion NV hooman
rites-that is fur wife men,"
"Rahi" yelled the meetn in korus.
"Dimocrisy holds that every man
hez the sole rite to controle hisself, and
that any law wich seq wat a man shell
or shel not do is an infringement
on God-given rites"
"Rah :"
"a Republican Legislacher last win
ter committed outrage on the Dimoc-
risy. II passed the Scott law. W.,
is the Scott law, my friendsS Il Is ]
law wich imposed tax onto the keep
ers Of wet groceries, 500 for the sellin
Nv beer, and s2oo for the sellin NV lik-
kers, which is jest ez necessary ez beer
for the susienance NV the hooman
family"
The awjence groaned in korus.
"Wat is the result ? Under Dime
kraiic rool the s'loons went on quiet,
doin' ther legitimit biznis. No tax
collector cum around TO disturb EN-;
700 Good all cum in when yoo pleased
and git yer sus,enancc, and things wuz
happy and pleasant. Wat is it now1
Ther is SO s'loons in this county, and
the Republican feends hev taxed EN-
ssoo each, which they hcv paid
There is to-day $4,000 in the county
,reezry, wich hev bin wrung out OF
their biznis, and"-
Up sprung an old farmer from an
admin township.
"Do | understand" seq he, "that
the Scott law hez collected $4,000
from the s'loon biznis3"
"l'hat's the size Nv it," ser /.
"Does that money go to poyin the
taxes NV the county p
alt do" | replied $50, 900 wrung
from the 'sloons.'
"Ef iggers don't lie, that's about
one-fifth NV all the taxes the county
hez to pay. My taxes afore this wuz
SIoo yeer, and next yeer, | shell hev
only abou, $50 to pay, which is 20 per
cent. off.
And then the mercenary old wretch
yelled: "'Rah for the Scott law"
"Yoo mustn't 'rah fur the Scott law"
yelled to the infatuated loonatics.-
"Yoo amt here to 'rah fur the Scott
law, but agin il. We are goin' to vote
TO repeel the Scott law. mite ez well
hev talked to the north wind"
bD-Is il not perfectly marvellous to
find what labor people will bestow upon
absolutely worthless objects9 In an ex-
hibitor's room in New York there is a
specimen Of hair-work completely exc
cuted by Imam. ltrepresents a schoon-
er with sails full set in turbulent sea,
and it took him nine years to accom-
p,ish his task. As a specimen Of what
can be done with human hair in the
way Of embroidery il is interesting, but
even that can hardly compensate for
nine years constant work. Some years
ago an ingenius English woman got up
a collection Of flowers made by herself
from fish bones, to which she had de-
voted the inceSsani labor Of many years.
She once attempted to give an idea of
the trouble only single spray Of lily
Of the valley gave her and asserted that
each cup upon the stem contained the
brains Of turbot, and from the diff
Guilty Of matching the sizes she must
have given up in despair il the proprie-
tors Of several London taverns had
not ordered the walters to save all the
fishbones for her. She published a
card stating that the collection she had
to exhibit had taken her thirty years to
complete and promised to crafty visi-
tors.
"wi,h bones. scales and eyes from Prawn to
FruIt, ais.. bird, and ao-.r,. oh, strange
mstamorphose."
s6-"How old are you, Jacob %
asked the doctor Of an aged Austin
Israelite. al wash seventy-two years
DID," was the reply. "You may live
to be eighty years of age" ''I wash
afraid not, MiShter Doctor" replied
Jacob. "vy should the Lord want to
take me at eighty, ven he can take me
now at seventy.two1"
narIf your colleges would make il a
rule not to receive male students, but
that girls should be embraced in their
lolaaaas a look Is thouQh there would