davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21
HUMOROUS.

-"Selection. Brown Gas he was
leaving our art conversazione, after
rafting scramble in the cloak room J.
"Confound It'll Got my own hat after
allW--London Punch.
An obscure, but yet not wholly un-
Ineligible joke in regard to the mule
is that though he cares very little for
precious stones in general, yet he gen
orally affects topaz" IN Y. Graphic.
Canal mules do soP--Boston Post.
Judge Tourgee is delivering a lect-
ure on "a Family of Fools" Wo
haven't heard It, but presume he refers
TO the girl who kindled q fire with
kerosene, the boy who didn't know it
was loaded" and the man who asks:
"Is it cold enough for you"-M y.
advertiser.
High classic" Can you compre-
hend meP" ~ nm, perhaps, a little
obtuse, but you may DO sure that /
shall get at your meaning presently"
Low classic" you catch onP"
"Well, perhaps l don't drop as sud-
denly as some, but you bet I'll tumble
as quick as the average. ."-Ihe Judge.
"A magazine writer has recently
published u long article about "women's
noses" The best thing we know about
a woman's nose is q mustache. The
best kind is pale brown, and waxcd at
the ends. For sample, and instruction
in best method of application, apply at
this office, after business hours. Dur
lmgton Hawkeye.
SO you have got twins at your
houseP" said Mrs. Bezumbe to little
Tommy Samuelson. "Yes, ma'am, two
of EN-" "What are you going to call
thcmp" "Thunder and Lightning"
"Why, those are strange names to call
children" "Well. That's what pa
called them as soon as he heard they
were in the house" ."-1e1ds Sytings.
Justice, your Honorr' exclaimed o
legal comet in one OF his eccentric per-
orations, "is not like tho fabuated
Briarious Of old, whose eyes were as
multiplical as the sands of the sea. nor
yet like the famed Cyclops whose vision
perforated only the arena of the coming
luturity. but like tho sportive demon
stration of blind mans buff She
pursues her way unseeing and unseen,
holding tho steelyards that weigh with
coeval vicissitude the carats of gold
and the carrots OF horticulture, and
knowing no Norihno South, no East no
West r'-Rome (M ~ Sentinel
"A report comes from London that
there is q change in the fashion in
dogs. Young ladies who have been
wearing English pugs to match their
complexion, trimmed with plastrons
and things, or tho Italian greyhound or
King Charles spaniel cut entrain with
jat OF and polonaise, will regret to learn
that they have gone out of fashion, and
, they might as well be given to the poor
or sold to the old rag-man. Thenew style
of dog is the fluffy white Pomeranian
, with u nose in point applique and shir
red ears; or the Maltese terrier, with ,
! silk jacket and velvet lingerie some
thing that way.-N0rriStoOn Herald
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21
PHrhAprLpu1A1awyers have question

PHrLADEIrHIA1awyer have question
which stumps them at last. The Con-
trollership of that city became vacant
by resignation. The Common Council
elected new man. The person left in
charge by the resigning Controller re.
fuses to give up the office, and the Court
sustains him. Lawyers are divided upon
the point whether the Office is n county
or a city one, to be filed by the State
Governor or city government in case of
vacancy. The most serious feature of
the whole trouble is that all the police
men, school tedchors, department clerks
and laborers are kept out Of their pay,
because no bills can DO cashed before
they are approved by the Controller,
and there is no recognized Controller TO
do it.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

The robust health Of the English in
general is said to be due to their diet
They are good and substantial caters.
They like plain, solid food, well cooked,
and do not, as rule, demand variety
Meat, vegetables, and puddings are
their staple dishes, and thin soups and
foreign kickshaws find no favor in their
eyes. They dcspise alike French dishes
as rich and unwholesome, and German
cookery as coarse and unpalotable. The
roast beef of Old England is their staff
of life, and ham and eggs come next in
their good graces. Ice water is a rarity
among the mass of the population, who
look on it almost as poison.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21
Money by Telephone.

"Say, miss" said O rather handbook
Ing customer to the young lady in charge
Of the central telephone office, one day
last week, "say, miss, I'd like to talk
with Mr.. Joseph Snooks moment"
The lady called Snooks and turned tho
instrument over to the guest.
"Hello, hellol Mr.. Snooks"
Snooks answered, and i'll the ensuing
colloquy the lady could Of course only
hear the hard looking customer.
'Snooks, old boy, 1 can't come up for
that money today; I'm too busy"
"Eh?"
"No, can't get away"
II know, but I'm sorry; I've got to
meet Brace about your affair.
"But I'd jeopardize all our interests.
| positively can't come. Can you send
the money downP"
"Down here"
~ don't believe she'll do il, will she?"
mo, I don't know her. She's hand
some girl with blue eyes and light hair.
Know herr"
"I'll ask her about it. Wait, keep
your ear there miss, Mr.. Snooks wants
to pay mo four dollars, and says for you
to let me have the money. I'll ask again
to make sure. Snooks, did you mean
for this fine young lady to pay me and
charge it to you?"
Don't hear you"
"Yes, yes, all right. He says, miss,
for you to take my receipts and let mo
have the cash. You are to put it in his
telephone bill All right, Snooks, good
by, see you tomorrow, and he hung the
mouthpiece on the hook.
"Fine fellow, Snooks," he continued,
looking pleasantly at the managress. 81
never heard Of sending money by tele-
phone before, did you?'
NO" responded the lady.
Perhaps you haven't the change
handy7"
"les," said she.
you'll trust Snooks, I persume," he
went on in faltering manner.
Certainly" she replied, "if ho says tc
let YOU have it."
"You don't think the telephone woult
lie, do you?"
"Assuredly not I'll just ask Mr.
Snooks."
"No, no. He's sensitive man; HI
wouldn't like to have so much fuss owe
a small amount. Make it two dollar,
and l will give him receipt on nc
count"
"Ill pay anything Mr.. Snooks says
I'll call him."
"Rather than bother him again, III
make it a dollar. Give me dollar"
"But 1 perfer to call him."
"Miss, slid the man, "don't go nea
the wire now. There's cloud commint
up. You're going to be struck by light
ming. Rather than that, I'd tako tift
cents, q quarter"
"Ohl I'm not afraid" and she ap
preached the instrument.
keep away from that wire!" h
howled, "don't call Snooks. He NIGH
be struck. If You don't care for yourself
have some mercy on his family. Yo
needn't pay the amount at all. wouldn
risk Snooks for all the money in Brool
lyn."
II shall either call Snooks or police
man" said the girl firmly.
"Make it policeman ana I'll go fC
him myself" shouted the tramp, as h
jumped over the rail.
And then she called Snooks, who In
been swearing at his end of the wire i
the hope of making some ono hear hin
and told him it was all right, she hadn
quite paid the money.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

CAPT. r. B. FORBES, of Boston, makes
the sensible suggestion that there is al
together too much signcling in naviga-
ton rules, which leads to confusion. He
says "on the ocean it is enough to indi-
ca to northerly, southcrly, easterly and
westerly. In narrow waters where many
steamers are apt to congregate the less
footing the better"
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

WHAT is claimed to be the largest pen
sion paid to one person in the United
States has been settled in st. Louis.
The pensioner was honorably discharged
from the army in 1864 on account OF
injuries, and in four days thereafter he
became totally blind, and has so remain
ed ever since. His case has been pend
ing for sixteen years. The aggregate
sum acoruing to date, and which he re-
ceived, was 50, O6347. Hewill hereafter
receive during his life $72 per month.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21
FACTS AND FIGURES.

Alabama has |, 9l9 miles of railroad,
and the railroads furnish eleven per
cont of all the taxable property in the
State.
--Brovard County, Fla, Is the largest
of the 1859 counties in the United
States. II has an area of over 5000
square miles.
The first appearance OF cotton as
an article OF commerce was shipment
Of seven bales from Charlestown in 1857.
In lSS0-Sl the crop was 5000, 600 bales.
According TO n comprehensive sta
tistical return lately published in Ger
many, there are in Europe ninety-two
cities with moro than 100, 900 inhabit-
ants, out of which four capitals show
each over n million population, as fol-
lows: London, $685., ,440; Paris, 2,225,-
9l0; Berlin, 1, 122. 800: Vienna, l, 1903, lilo.
Out of tho nincty-two cities and towns
reforred to, England claims 26, Germany
16, Italy II, France 10. and Russia 8.
Tho others arc divided among the
smaller States. There were in the Unit
cd States In 1880 twenty cites having
each 100. 900 inhabitants and upward.
The first annual report of the State
Commissioner of Railroad Taxation in
New Jersey contains the following par
agraph: New Jersey has in oil some
1900 miles of road, standing second in
the list Of States in the matter OF rail-
way facilities. The only State which
| claims to have more miles OF road than
| ,. .InrgAV
has nearly mile OF track for every four
square miles of area, which is considered
the maximum. The total capital in
vested in railroad property in this State
is S2l4, $685. ,349 The cost of railroads
and their equipments has been sl6S,6lS.-
1885,"
The industrial census Of Philadel-
phia, as taken by the Police Department
under the direction of l.orin Blodgett.
is substantially complete, and the re-
turns are so fully compiled as to show
A large Increase as compared with .ne
census of 1880 From the figures AZ
ready compiled over 10, 00o eslaDilsn-
menfs are shown, with 2zz'ooz oPerS non
tiyes. showing an increase Oh z'VVo
establishments and OF 50,O00 persons
employed, and it is believed that the
entire completion of the revision will
show 12,OO0 establishments, with 24O,-
600 persons employed. Philadelphia
Press.
Various signs Of the unsatisfactory
state of Russian finances are constantly
appearing in the St. Petersburg press.
Although the general taxes collected II
1881 exceeded those Of the present yea
by 1871, ,46S rubles, nevertheless tn
general amount Of arrears in 1881 wa
very largely increased. For 1881 the
were calculated at 81, 263, 629 rubles, an
J for the year 1882 these figures ros
to S5,547, 7O7 rubles, or 4, 2S4, 07S rub!e
u more, Independently Of 1878. s2l ruole
q Of arrears excluded from the genSrs {
20 sum on account Of Irregularities .na ~ z
r tho hopelessness Of any atssnps = > =
10 ting them paid. 8
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

Mr. HOLMAN Hunt spent five years in
the Holy Land in painting "The Flight
into Egypt" and, when he had finished
it, found that the Syrian canvas, which
he had used, was too rotten to bear the
strain Of travel. The picture fell to
pieces and was patched, but is now an
irretrieYable ruin.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21
FAIR but COY.

Her cheeks 8 sentry in advance,
moon that makes the darkness dayi
Her stature IL like any lance,
And Ike waving reed doth sway.
Her eyes arc ever wide awake,
Though dreamy az a fawns TO see.
Tho moon IL blurred for her sweet satei
The branch is dropping on the tree.
The fawn before her flcs for shame
Toward the desert, far and wide;
No peer has she, and none can claim
To DO regarded by her side.
The fawn that In the glade doth stray
Tho idol OF the fame In shel
Thou who didst bid me hope. pray
That may neer despair Of theei
To me, thou art 10 coy and cold;
To others, ever kind and near.
Our quarrel IKE the wars Of old,
Doth linger on from year to year.
All ! that Is why thy young check glows
With yonder ruddy hue no fair,
As though 1t were distant rose
Thou takest for veil TO wear.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

EDWIN FoRREsT's costumes and silver
ware, left by him to the Forest Home,
Philadelphia, are soon to be sold at pub
lie auction. Among the costumes are
those worn by the characters OF Coriola-
nus, Lear, Tell and Spartacus, and the
silverware includes fifteen pieces besides
q dozen knives, four dozen forks, and
four dozen spoons.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

The Emperor of ro-Hungary has
decorated Hon. Charl, Gibson, OF st.
Louis, his counsel in the case against
Baron Won Bechtolsheim, late Austro-
Hungary consul at st. Louis, who en-
bezzled funds Of his Office, as Knight
Commander of the Order OF Franz
Joseph. The order itself is as high as
any in the empire or in Europe.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

The practicability Of photographing
landscapes from the windows OF trains
running at rate Of forty miles an hour,
has been recently proved by Dr. Cam
die, who uses what ne calls gyrograph
for the purpose. An exposure OF only
one one-hundredth Of second WAS
needed, and after little practice won.
derfully distinct views were obtained.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

Ross, the shotgun messenger OF Wells
Farg & Co.'s Express. who saved tho
treasure when the recent effort was made
to rob tho east-bound express OF the
Central Pacific, in California, stands six
feet four in his stockings, and began
life as a gambler. This is the fourth
time that he has beaten off the road
agents.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

Nor q few OF the thinking farmers Of
Illinois and the States adjoining, express
the conviction that ho who would raise
cattle in the future without positive loss,
must raise those which will at IN early
ace develope into ripe, heavy animals
Of good style and in every way suited to
the needs of the best and most exacting
markets, there and abroad.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

Mr.. w. @. CARRINGToN, Richmond
(Va.) attorney, has received from Lon
don the certificate of marriage of Mr..
and Mrs. Pigeon Oabourchere). 1t was
intended to be used in the divorce suit
Of Mrs. Pigeon vs.. Mr.. Pigeon.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

ANEW profession, that of accompany
lug young girls to and from balls, is re-
ported to have been recently started.
Hairdressers advertise that they will
dress the hair Of ladies and then escort
them TO their place OF destination.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

In some parts of Germany the police
have lately had the new duty instructed
to them of prohibiting boys under six
teen from smoking in the streets or
from entering alone establishments
where intoxicating liquors are sold.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

The scandal about the failure of Mr..
Julian Hawthorne to finish "Fortune's
Fool" is increased by the announce
ment that he had received pay in full in
advance. Mr.. Hawthorne is thus far 81
lent on the subject.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21
rvv Metropolitan Horse Oar Com

TIE Metropolitan Horse Oar Com
pany, Of Boston, has recently introduced
the registering clock for recording fares.
The other day an elderly lady desired to
Get off the car. She rose energstically
and q pulled the strap which rang in tho
fares, Before tho conductor could make
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

WILLIAM GALLOWAY, the oldest loco.
motive engineer in this country, recent
ly guided train at the speed Of a mile
a minute oven a portion of tho Baltimore
and Ohio railroad. Mr.. Galloway is
seventY.fonr years old.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

MONTGOMERY BLAIR is reported to be
seriously i'll at his country place, Silver
Spring, few miles from Washington.
Mr.. Herndon, the Alabama Congress-
man, is now on the road to full recovery.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

her desist she had not only been carried
a couple of blocks beyond her destins-
tion, but had registered not less than
twenty fares, for which, according to tho
company's rules, the conductor was re-
sponsible.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

WAncoTT, the thirty.day quail eater,
finished his task. said he never felt bet
ter in his life, and pocketed the $500,
besides winning any number Of bets
from silly people.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

GEN. CHARLES P. STONE, who has for
years been an officer in high command
in the Khedive's army, has left Egypt,
and will return to live in the United
States.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

THE United States Government pays
foreign steamers an average of two cents
per letter for postage. During the past
forty years the mails have cost $50, 2Oi,.
ACT.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

The following process is recommended
for cleaning white Shetland shawls. Plt
the soiled article into a large bowl;
throw over it half II teacupful of flour,
"dry," rub thoroughly, as If washing,
then thoroughly shake cat the flour. Ii
the article is not clean repeat the pro-
cess in clean -four. Articles cleaned by
this process will retain q new look as
long as there is q thread left
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

AT . ball-Match-making mamma to
nor manageable daughter; "Virginia,
taear, don't lose sight Of that gentleman
y mooa!lrn!iug y 10 may b . Mdowsy" ID
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21
TOPICS OF THE DAY.

TIE French army is reported not to
like the expulsion bill adopted by the
cabinet, and an intimation TO that effect
has been carried TO President Grew.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21
-Med,cine was administered to o sick

Medicine was administered to sick
clergyman on Long Island snlhi1as,s By ssvsr' o %.
stead Of giving him pills and plasters,,
thew gave him some wood and coal, which
added some money, which they pleas
antly placed in his hand as they shook 81 s'i,
hands at his bedside. 1t was agreed py
all concerned that these remedies were
the best that could have been admins
tered to the suffering pastor. ne Is now
oouvalescent IN Y Sun
THE only cool thmg which has been
seen in towu f6r the past week y the fell
low low who comes into the office, smokes
some other fellows pipe, uses some Other
fellow fellows desk, and then asks If you are
not going to say beer before he has to go
s.B0st0n Globe,
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

-"wHAr srs You doing out Z, there :s ny ny
s.,rhtar In tic night dewY sAid We
assEr nId gentleman on the piazza
kInu kam.t;sing fencinQ." was the sweet
.o,,iv as she leaned over the pickets till
fsp'}, bep face was drsadfully close 70 VII
llama
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

There Is an enrolment Of iyo,of
in the Minnesota schools, the o,ase nay
lng q school population Of Slo'sso
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

WHY is paper money more valuable
than gold? When you put 1t In your
pocket you double 1t, and when you take
1t out you find II still increases,
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-02-21

THE man who ate his dinner with the
fork Of a river has been trying TO spin =
mountain top,
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1883-09-27

The Liberty Herald, his home
paper, edited by Mr.. 2. r. Brewer,
who is never given to "coloring"
things, has the following to say of
Mr.. McLain. our nominee for Dis
trict-Attorney:
Mr.. McLain is a native Of Amite
county, possessing very superior
educational advantages, both literary
and prot, ssional, and having had
considerable practice in the line of
the duties of District-Attorney, we
can safely say that his qualifications
for the office he aspires to are ample
and give promise of success should
he be elected. He lead off in adj
vance of his worthy competitors, and
hell that position throughout the
baliotting until nominated. He is
our man, and will get large vote in
his native county.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1883-09-27

Mr.. b. +. Bee, who has been the
Railroad Agent at this place for a
number of years. has resigned. lie
has made an efficient officer, and
while the railroad company will lose
an excellent employee. our town
will lose a good citizen, and we re-
greet to see him leave. lie has our
best wishes for his future, and we
heartily commend him to those with
whom he may hereafter he associa-
ted as a gentleman and prompt relia,
BILE business man.-MdgnOLia Ga
zette.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1883-09-27

article, | feel con6ient you would
not have assailed me as you have.
Please insert in your next, and |
hope all papers who have copied
your article will also, in simple JUS
tice to me, copy mine.
Yours,
w. CALVIN WELLS.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1883-09-27

LAND OFFICE AT JACKSON, MISS.

LAND OFFICE AT JACKSON, MISS
Sept. 81, 1888. I
Notice is hereby given that the following nam
ed settler has filed notes Of his intention to
make nnal proof IN support of his claim. and that
said proof will be made before G. L. Watts,
ChanCery Clerk, at Monticello, Miss, on Nov. II.
1883, viz Henry Jackson, Homestead No, 342,
for the ne L Sc u, and SEX ne Il sec. Il, II n,
r 90 v. He names the following witnesses to
prove his continuous residence upon, and cult
walton of, said land, viz:
edrick Daniel, 5. T. Arm-) All of Silver Creek
JEFF Daniel. Co., Miss.
X. G. KERR.
Sept s7-6w Register.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1883-09-27
Publication Notice.

LAND OFFICE AT JACKSON, Miss,
Septe mber %, 1eS3. I
Notice is hereby given that the following nam
ed settler has filed notice o! his intention to make
dnal proof in support of his claim, and that SAID
pr oOf will he made before c. +. Watts. Chancery
Clerk, at Monticello Miss, on Nov. IL, 1888, viz :
Henry Bryant, Homestead No. So5r. for the nwA
sw1, sec. 25 township n, range 81 west. He
names the following witnesses 70 prove his con-
tinuous residence upon, and cultivation of, said
land. viz:
Wiley Price, William Col } All OF Hooker, p. o =,
Inns, Jordan Haywood, Lawrence Co.,
Wade Smith. Miss.
II. c. KERR,
Sept 2l-6w Register.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1883-09-27
Publication Notice.
LAND OFFICE At JACKSON, MISS.

LAND OFFICE AT JACKSON, MISS, !
August 30. 1888. {
Notice Is hereby given that the following nam
ell settler has nled notice OF his intention 10
make anal proof IN support OF hts claim, and that
said proof will be made before w. VI. wentworth,
Chancery Clerk, at Meadville, Miss, on Oct. ~,
1888 viz: William L. Holland, Homestead No.
955T for the 81 nwk, and M, swL, ~, q n,
e. lie names the following witnesses TO prove
his continuous residence upon, and cultivation
of, saiiland, viz:
4. l.. Holland. J. G. smith, All OF MeadVille +. u,
John Cupit L. E. Franklin Co..
Holland. Miss.
II. e. KERR,
AugsObg Register.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1883-09-27
Publication .VOfice.
Aug sO6S

LAND OFFICE AT JACKSON, MISS,
August %, 1882 I
Notice is hereby given that the following nam :
ed settler has fled notice Of her intention to make
nnal proof in support Of her claim, and that said
pvoof Will he made before C. T.. Watts, Chancery
Clerk at Monticello. Miss, on october IL, 1859,
viz: BECKY Walker, Homestead No. 92SC, for the
sw u Sc a, 3 2I; and NV u ne L and 4 NV L,
8 IS n, W. She names the following VIII
nesses to prove her continuous residence upon,
and cultivation of. said land, viz:
Levi Dampier, DavIdl All of Gwinville T. o.,
NewsOm, John New Lawrence Co.,
som, Ben NewsOm,N Miss.
r. c. KERR,
Aug. 23-6w Register.