The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-11-29
Uselessness Of Men on the Verge Of
MatrimOny.

L
MatrimOny.
"When a young man gets the craze
on" an ancient spinster said recently,
she is good for nothing except his girl.
His mind runs on his charmer, his
friends are bored to death with the mar
ration of her PROJECTIONS; the postman
of her district swears mentally a, he
leaves her two or three letters day;
married relatives are annoyed with his
frequent questioning in regard to the
cost of housekeeping. In fact, when q
youth has a. craze on, as say. he is
good for nothing. If you want him to
take you anywhere he has mysterious
engagement. We all know that it Is
some appointment, but he maintains an
air of mysterious superiority comical in
the extreme. If he quarrels with his
girl he comes home in the blues, and the
next morning appears at the breakfast
table surly and cross. looking SEEM
ingly on all womankind as mortal enc
mics. They are no good when in that
condition, and the sooner they get mar
ried the better. Why girls marry,
though, can't see. l wouldn't tag
myself on to the best man in the world
really now l wouldn't, for think
they are horrid mean anyhow. They
are perfect fools-the more flighty a
girl is the quicker they are caught, and
| If there are two or three after tho same
sgirl they seem to take great pleasure in
cutting each other out. 1 wouldn't have
anyone of them looking to me for care
and dpmfort," she said, rs she edged
her chair closer to the reporter to i'm
press the fact on him.
"Come, aunty," said Gus, member
of the family, ..you know that when
you were young you had more beaux
running to the house in one evening
than any of the girls of the present day
have in week" The old lady laughed
merrily as she gazed fondly at her
nephew. perhaps 1 was foolish when
L was young, but if the Morning Jour
nal representative wants good ac-
count of an intense courtship and mar
riage, l leaye him to you. Tell him the
truth. Gus" the old lady said. as she
left the room with a merry twinkle in
her eyes.
"Well. 1 DECLARE" said the victim,
81 suppose l am in for it. When l
commenced counting was as crazy rs
the rest of them. 1 visited my girl
nightly, and wrote her at least once a
day. 1t is true, often did come home
in the blues, for all women have the
habit of teasing and tormenting man,
and the more devoted he is the more
they tease him. However, it is pleas
ure for them, and suppose they enjoy
putting their beauX on the rack, as they
seem to like to feel the power they have
over them. Courtships, however, l
think are pretty much all the same the
world over, but l tell you as the we'd
ding day approaches the young man
gets nervous. He has all the arrange
ments to make with the min ster. His
tailor occupies great deal of attention,
for the wedding suit, you know, must
be faultless. A single wrinkle will
raise a 'hubbub, and even if the suit is
made to perfection it hardly satisfies
the expectant groom. 1t generally
takes the united persuasive powers of
the groom's friends, the tailor and his
assistants to prove to the young man
that the suit is becoming and without a
flaw.
mony is probably set down for four or
five o'clock. In order to get ready in
time, the expectant groom arises at five
in the morning. Ten to one on dress
ing he finds that he has sent all his new
things to his future brides house to be
packed in the. trunk for the wedding
trip. He is naturally angry, and, de-
string to wear entirely new clothing,
awakes one of his sympathizing rela-
tives and sends him out for an outfit
When it comes it may be too large and
it may be too small. 1t has to answer,
however Dressed, the young man
hastens to a florists and sends his fu-
ture wife and the best lady flowers
enough TO decorate a parlor almost.
Then he goes to hunt up his best friend
to make sure that he won't fail him.
He is astonished to see his friend so cool
about it, and thinks his friendship not
sincere. Finally the hour comes and
the young couple are united. A recep-
ton is rendered them and then they de-
part for their train, followed by an ava
lanche of dilapidated shoes and EXPIRES
sions of good will. If the young man
is wise he has arranged his wedding
trip in advance and has secured his
railroad tickets. Here is where could
give some good advice to your interest
ed inquirerS. Many people start out
and 90 to Niagara or Saratoga, and in
one week spend sum of money suf
ficient to last them for a months trip.
How to do the thing and have first
class time is what the uninitiated want
81 so 10
trip'for seven weeks and it did not cost
me over 5000. | could have easily
saved $500 of that and had a good time,
but | invested in various Canadian
goods, and by the way this is a great
foolishness. Don't do t.'-N. \. Morn
ing Journal.