Smyrna times., 1883-01-31
Settled at Last.
AN ANCIENT HISTORICAL PROBLEM
SOLVED BY AN OLD DELAwAREAN.


ting around a comfortable stove in a
crossroads store in Sussex county,
Delaware, gossiping about the weather,
the crops and their neighbors. Isaac
Jones was reading an old number of
Harper's Magazine. He suddenly ad-
dressed the school master, who was
present, as follows:
"Jim, who was the Argonuts ?'
81 don't quite understand you. Will
you spell that word, Ike?"
"A-r-g-o-n-a-u-t-s" "
I" Just so I thought you had mis-
pronounced it. Why, man, alive! that
is pronounced-is pronounced-ahem
I told you you had n4ispronounced
itw
"Well, 'spose I did! who was they
anyhow? Do you know?"
~ should think a baby ought to
know that OF course, know who
the Argonuts we're! Let me think a
moment! The Argonuts were-Ike
you've read about the Juggernaut
wagon they use in India?"
YES"
"Well, the Argonuts are the men
who have charge of that wagon when
it is rolling over and killing the peo-
ple."
"You git outw said Pop Bundy,
"You don't know nothin' about it Jim.
The Argenuts amt men at at all. 1
know all about 'em. They're kind of
briar that grows in the Sary Nevady
mountains. Hain't read in the
papers about em spreadin' all over CAL
iforny?"
Hold on, Pop!" interposed another
of the company. Don't go so fast!
The Argonuts was animals as lived
somewhere in the Holy Land. I've
hearn my nephew, Tom, tell all about
'em. They had awful thick hides and
one of them could lick a cowpen full OF
lions. 1t tuck a whole regiment OF
Jews to kill one of 'em, and King Solo,
mon, or some of them old fellows pre-
sarved the hide of one that was killed
and Barnum's got it now"
Durn my killick, if you fellers amt
all outon your depth !" put in another
gentleman. When was in Philadel.
phia twenty years ago 1 remember
hearin' preacher throw light
upon this here very subject. The Ar
gOnuts was lot of Dutch sailors wha
fit the British in the Bay of Biscay
They was grit, too, and licked ZEN
, every time"
: "See here, boys!" said old Tob!
D Moser, you're all of;-way off!
l know what Argonuts was. Seed plen
E ty of 'em when was boy. They wa
Y mighty good, too, 1 kin telly you. Why
the squirrels even was that fond o
o them that they'd let you walk up ant
n knock 'em over with stick while the,
/, was eaten of 'em. Fact, by jingo
}, Argonuts was a cross between a chest
v nut and beechnut. They was tina
/ good that they'd fairly melt in you
: mouth"
h Gentlemen" said the deliberat
s voice of the neighborhood's oldest in
1 habitant and oracle, who had hereto
% fore remained silent" gentlemen,
believe this here company and thi
e here neighborhood knows me to be
" man what never delivers an opinio
e which hain't based on solid ground
e, "YOu're right, Uncle Bob, your
IS right" eagerly interrupted the con
Ie pany.
v =" leastwise," continued uncle Bol
81 hain't hearn no man say as how h
10 doubted Uncle Bob's judgement upo
10 any pint from a worm-fence up to
in church, to use figger of speech, an
IT what I'm gOin' to say on this questiO
If may be taken as settled facts"
tn "Spit her out, Uncle Bob, we kno
r. you know a thing or two as well .
"a some as has had better advantages
Ia interiected several voices.
rs "Well, then, gentlemen, Argonut
Nv was a gang of men that helped Nap
al leon to burn Moscow-ft fur him
Ie Egypt-cleaned out Turkey for him
of raised merry Cain in some more
a them Mediterranean countries, al
rn when the fghtin' was all over eve
K. mothers son of 'em was made king
That's the how of it gentlemen, al
rel you kin stick peg right thar al
ce hang your hats on it !"
N. Ike Jones heartily endorsed this vie
,ot of the case. For, he alleged, it agre
es exactly with the reference to Arg
sP nauts in the paper, viz; "All abo
sailin' over the sea and visitin' a
I'm fightin' in many countries"
mr. The question being satisfaetori
20 settled, the company adjOurned.-T
"a. Rambler. ... .... ........