Arkansas weekly mansion., 1883-09-22
A Fly PAPER.

81 think flies is sOciable, l do. For
my part, I'm glad to be back where they
be. Nobody never need to excuse their
flies to me. If they'd been where
there want no flies, as / have, and
where the poor critters was Jest a-hunt-
ed and a-gone-at from morning till
night, they d never lift their hands agin
'em as long as they drawed the breath
o life
Miss Semanthy Simmons remark
seemed to be understood by her audi
ence Notwithstanding the fact that she
had her ..twister," two side-combs and
some hair-pins in her mouth. Semanthy
was spending the afternoon at neigh
bor'S, her first call since her return from
the city, and, for fear that some one
would call to dctain her, had ''jest taken
her hands out o the dish water, put on
n clean apron and scoOted.' This was
the lady's apology for not having dressed
her hair at home.
Yes, l do mean to say that flies don't
have no privileges where I've been
Cousin Gusty will as good as faint away
IF she catches sight o one. They We got
blinds and shutters and screens and lace
cuttings and swing doors, and every
hired gal has a feather duster three yards
long. and sticks with frizzled paper
stuck to 'em. and little pop-guns that
they put sneezing rowderinto and blow
at 'em. and | ralv believe that if a hum
,ired or two of them unfortnit critters
should git in unbcknownSt to 'em they d
order out the militia. Oh, it's easy to
say: oh. Semanthv. but if you had un~
,Ierwcnt what l have from their thrash
ing and shoOing and discriminating the
mir, l don't know what you'd do. You
know in this house, if anybody knows.
that | don't git much chance to sew
when I'm to hum. and SO sez | to my
self: III JET take my crazy bed-qullt
10 Cousin Gusty's. and as they never
will let me wash dishes or puttcr round
any, why, it stands to reason l can git
a lot done Did 1? No, didn't. That
quilt is crazicr than when l took it
away; for, what with jumping up every
other minute to see if | couldn't get a
crack o light so that / could tell yaller
from green, and blue from cinnament
brown. the hull thing is in that state
that 'twould make lunatic of any
body who'd ever try to git it to-
gether.
Gould have shelter open if was
n mind to? Didn't | tell you that
couldn't? NY cousin Gusty is pious
woman, and amt going ter say to the
contrary, but l believe she'd ruther l q
"a broke five out of ten of the command
mcnts than to took out one o her
screens. You don't think it speaks
very well for her picty? Well, l don't
know. Folks is about as they're made,
I've diskivered, in New York as well
rs in Nairmount. You know in this
house, too. that l never set my heart on
1limmvGlidClles. but l didn't skasely know
myself in regards to that crazy quilt,
did banker so to git 1t along. Why I've
craned nv neck till Eve had the neu-
ra.agv for week trying to tell which
was luther of nv silks. I've got up in
:, cheer and lit the gas contrivancc that
hung down from the wall-lor sakes!
'twould go off like n pistol every time,
and scare me een-a most out out o my
>yits-and there I'd stand, and lab at
the eve q nv needle for all the world
as If | was Spearing for eels, like Il
peskv fool, till my knees would tremble
nS if l had the agcr. Why didn't l say
that I'd brun@ work with me and
wanted to do it? So l did more'n a
hundred times. As quick rs I'd say
that, cousin'd say: Come down to the
sewing-room. Cousin Semanthy, and
let the seamstrcss help you,' Gracious
sakes, / aint a-fishing round for help.
sez /; l amt no cripple. The only
thing that's lacking, Cousin Gusty. is
IL
If L was Il owl could do it in the dark,
but being nothing but 4 poor human
bat l amt able to see through all them
thickneSses that's up to my winder.'
What would she say? Oh, she'd
smile kinder amused like, and that
would be the cend of it. One day l
Jest spoke my MIND about them screens
and things I'd clum up to the gas.
and I'd clum up to the winder, and I'd
suuinted and twisted my neck till | was
rs full of cricks and kinks as a egg is
a. meat. l hadn't been rally riled till
then, and then my dander was clean
up. Sez |, Cousin Gusty, whatever is
the matter with you about tlies?'
About flies, said she; Il don't under
stand Won. Semanthy.' 'Wa'al.' said
i. Il should think that anybody that had
both cold and billing water let into em
through the wall, and wash-tubs and
rubbing boards ready to their hands.
Wouldn't be quite SO pertikeler about
SLING their things. Why, sez l, 4
could cIear-starch them cuttings and
all the rest of the fiummery in this room
in no time. For PHYS sake, sez L.
Cousin Gusty, do let me cast aside
some of that superflumsiness OF klver-
lids, and allow the light o day to shine
in upon my crazy guilt, and upon your
Cousin Semanthy, VINO Is nISn dpou' Us
crazy as her spread You don't see
how she could get around that? Wa'al,
] nuther. When my dander is once rlz.
then nv mouth is more like mill
stream afore it's damned than anything
j can compare it to. There ain never
no lack of oratorical powers when l m
once swelled up with my subject " hat
did Gusty say? Oh, she spoke about
the delikit paper on the wall. and about
the frisco Observation-Disclosures she meant
San-frisco or not l don't knOw-and
poked the sewing room and seamstress
under nv nose agin, and that's all that
amounted to- And what do you think? .?
That woman actooally told me that she
never had her lace cuttings, or her bu-
reau frills, or her counterpins, or her
shammies, done up to hum. WIN all
that water pouring into the house. ana
all the hired help stannin' round; ana
SOAP by the box, and clesr-starch by
the hundred-weight! That took the
stiffening out O. me, and jest llfted up
nv hands, and een-a' most wept-
cousin Gusty do anything? Wa'al'
Ishouldn't call it doing anything; she