River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1883-05-24
snending the summer

nTJin L CCh 14As
"Where are you going to spend the
| SUMMER" said prominent citizen,
to another prominent citizen
| as the two met at free lunch counter
one day this week and prepared to take
the lunch.
"Well, have not made up my mind"
said the second prominent citizen, as he
took fork and speared chip of liver
sausage and laid it on q piece Of rye
bread, calling for schooner of beer. 81
have been talking it over with my wife,
and we have about concluded to fix up
the house as a summer resort and stay
at home. She tn nks she can take
Ratchet and break some of the springs
of her bed, and shorten up the bed Stats
80 they will fall down, AM put some old
cabbage stumps in tlle mattress, and can
make the bed about as uncomfortable as
| the one we had at summer hotel lasS
| summer at 81 q day apiece. But she has
cot to have fire in the room all summer
| to make the room as hot as our hotel
room was, because cur house is 50 near
| Lake Michigan that 1t is dlsgustinglF
| cool in the summer"
| 'FThat NAV do for Il starter for sum-
mer resort" said tie other prominent
| citizen, as he fished some head cheese
out OF plate of vinegar and finally
| guided it into his mouth after it had
| slid down his vest and into his shirt Boz
som, 'but she will want TO tamper with
| the broiler so it will burn one side of
| beef.steak and leave the othe~ side raw,
ard she will have 10 instruct her cook how
| to make biscuits so hard outside that you
can strike flint on them, and soft in
side, and he took the last swallow OF
peer and called foI another glass
go, she can arrange that all right,
said the other "But size is going to
have hard time to train our servants
| to make good imitation summer resort
| servants o them. ! tell her she wants
| to train them so they VIII 10 nothing
without being paid bali 8 dollar. have
got the chambermaid so sh will not
make up the bed in my wiie's room until
ell the other beds are made,
| unless she gives the girl quarter,
and she won't carry out the
slops until after dinner, and my wife
saws it seems real natural. | have in
structed the man who answers the bell
not to come up for three-quarters OF an
hour after we ring, and TO always brlng
q pitcher of ice water the way they do
at summer hotels. Did you ever notice
that bell boy at summer hotel always
brings ice water when YOU ring? He
does not seem to have any soul that
scars above ice>water and two shiilings.
He thinks that the chances are, when
bell rings, that the guests want pitcher
of ice water, and he takes it along so he
will not have to make another trip, and
when he finds you want something else
he looks mad and sets the pitcher down
and seems to think you are fraud be-
cause the other nine pitchers Of ice-wa-
ter he has brought you are enough.
Then we have got to borrow lot Of
trunks, so the porter can get the wrong
trunk in our room, add we have got to
get in habit of going down to the lake
aud paying dollar an hour for an old
boat that never cost three dollars when
il was new. And | am practlcng on
smiling and swearing, so can act like the
landlord, and smile at the family when
they come in, and 90 to the bar-room
and swear at them because there are not
more Of them and they do not stay
longer. / am having bar fixed up in
the barn, ana shall make the family paw
two shillings glass for lemonade that
has pint of water, pinch of acid,
little sugar, and a strawberry that looks
rs though it had been ground under a
bOot-heel. / think | am getting the
thing down fine. Come over and see us
this summer, from your hot and dusty
residence on the West side, and we will
make you tired in about two days"
80, am fixed. am going to take a
blanket and go out TO the glue factory
and lay off this summer and catch suck
ers in the Menominee, and fight mos
quitoes,' said the other citizen, land
charge myself 81 a day. ! tell you a
man can summer right here at home and
have all the discomforts, and get Just as
mad as he can to 20 10 Saratoga or Long
Branch" and the two citizens went out
picking the liver sausage out of their
teeth, looking as though they had in
vented a new scheme.