davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26
A Nice %ItunIpus.

Taitfcrd TIN
A traveller entered t." dinipg.room and
500 down with his h.a on. AS be wa
about to attack the Nio' e the head val
e asked him - take or MS hat, and as he
declined to DO il the landlotj was sum
moped. Tblt parsonage seized The hat
and threw it ou5 of doors. Therea6 tie
guess arose lst as n waiter was pass'"
with a tray freighted with somebody 2
diuper. lie gave the nay II kick tho
sent tie dishes flying tovsrd the ceiling
The waiter seized the guest by the collar
aud the guest seized tie waiter by II
thro.,c, and the landlord and the vd'tcr
knocked the guest over the dinner table
The table was upset and there was u
crash, and the guest ran ou5 to the pear
cst lawyers office and entered a suit for
the value of his hat.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26
Middle Aged Men.

There are manv at the age Of 30 to 60 who are
'roIblcd WITH too frequent executions of the blad-
der, often accompanied by n slight smarting or burn
ihs sensation, and u veal ening of the system In q
inrnner the patient cannot account for On examin-
ing the urinary deposits q ropy sediment will often DO
appear, or the color will be OF thin milkish hue, again
changing to q dark and torpid appearance. There are
Dlany mcny men who die Of this difficulty, ignorant OF
the . use, which is the second stage of seminal weak
me-. Dr, W. VIII guarantee n perfect cure In all cases
md q healthy restoration o. the senito-urinary or.
spns.
vice, ~.
All communications should BIO addressed, DIR. Henry
Henry Wagner, p. q. 23S9, Dens yer, Colorado,
The Young Mans Pocket Companion, by Dr. II
Wagncr, IL worth its weight IN gold to young men.
eiice. ! ~. Sent by mail to any address.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26
9iow They Brought JAY puid O. III
Witness Stand.


New Yorl Sun.
Story in to. days Sun of the disa" tro'H.
pxperience of the subpenaserver who
tried to reach. Russell Sage recalls tn
much more successful effort Of the q ~
of the Senate Committee on Educa
and Labor to capture the Senator's
gest witness, Mr., Jay Gsuid. ! give Na
incident from the clerks own recital:
When the clerk went down to n
Broadway with the Senatorial summons,
daily signed and sealed, bid n way in hi
coat pocket, ara ~enquired for Mr. Could,
The guards % tho door tried to blur hil1
of, just as M. Sage's henchmen
Clerk Bal. But the committee co \
equal to the occasion. He refuse
b'uticd and marched right int tia
UNI Of the millionaire. 'Mr CD
SAID he, smillin9ly 81 have "a
ON, young man." responded the r lroad
and telegraph magnale {, severely, show
do you know my name is Could"
"Knowl How do ! know WI
shouldn't | know what even the be
blacks here knowl There's no mistakine
Mr.. Jay Gould when you see him.
So you viii permit mo to hand you
this Senator Blair would
like your testimony on the labor ques
ton"
"But | don't know anything about il"
reported Mr.. Gould. 81 don't want TO be
a witness. ! won't 60"
"But you must come. There's no get
ting out of it,"
''Oh, you don't say 500"
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26
Let Your Light Shine.

r.. wagner, the celebrated specialist, Of Denver,
Colo, Gi3 larhmer street, believes in letting the world
know hat he can do, and Is doing ior thousands Of
his fcllow.1en. His treatment for lost manhood is
sure to vim him q name that p~osterity will bless, Ten
thorsand testimonials from all over the United States
,ro,a tho 6 he has cured, Is proof positive that hedoes
cure The worst cases Of these diseases. The afflicted
from CHI onic and sexual diseases Of every kind viii
ind hin uheir best friend. Read his advertisementin
al our city papers, and call on him for advice, as we
know on Will corroborate us in saying he is the sui
C. er's true friend. = Rocky Mounrain News.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26

A'ou. one year ago Twas talm with a se,ero r.
~ disease Of tho bdnoy'l from which | sui
0ne, ~. iallled 10 oar local physician, and ~.
~rscp,ing any help | called on hr, John A. MoIs'H
our druggist, and stated my case, lie Immediate
handed mo a bottle Of HrIvs Remedy oGoegl ii O.
o great specific Tor that complaint. l comn enc
nsing It Ut once, aud from the very start began 4
|lrproyo, aud by the time I had used tho bottle va.
entirely well. | would advice auy port ''3 having
difficulty with the HI ,neys to give Hunts Remedy a
trial, | know OF one case besides my own belbg cured
and would cheeriully recommend 1t TO any one.
CHARLES IL. ALEXASDER,
Foreman Dye House, Shctucket Mills.
May s, 1883. GreGnoyille, Conn.
certify TO the above being q true case, having
sold the medicine 70 Mr. Alexander. and know him
0 be a gentleman respe, ted highly IN the position he
holds. joins A. MORGAN,
Nay 8, 1883. Druggist, Creenoyille, Conn.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26
Another Slate.

A new apparently taking suggestion is
now made as to what may be the outcome
of the changes on the bench. IL IS said
that Hon. Jno. Y. Stone is tobe appoint
eli to take Judge Reeds place and that
will spoil the other slate completely. Tho
conjecture is given like the other for
what il is worth. Judge Aylcsworth, Of
the Superior court, has been declared by
some to be the best fitted man of PottG-
wattamie county, but he is o Democra',
which virtually bars him out.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26
Relief to the Afflicted.

In medicines, os In science, the specialists are the
ones who always coules TO the 'front.' and accomplish
,,eat .esults. This relparS is especially applicable to
TO DE-. IL. Wagner, OF this city. lie stands at the top
Of his profession, and the curc9 he performs for the
unfortunate would .-em wonderful II not properly
viewed in ne light o. scientific acquil oments. lie ~
eldoned Oy / o mo : eminent o. the medical faculty.
His office at si3 Laramir sire =, where he viii speedi-
iy ciocta care 70, ii c %sufferin OF either sex, no mat.
tor how conr,cated their Complaint. -Pomeroy,s
& mocrat.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26
Chronic Complaints Require
Time for a Cure.

Persons 1T n dlstlnce wfo wish to "a treated by DR..
Wagner n'0i rot feel backward ,ecause Of - bility
u Visit I'm. d troy VIII TO the doctor he will
send u lst OF quc tons " n.,jes him to send
medicine, corn4el End 10 thousands he has
never 6 N. He has pa In every city, town aud
station IN Colorado well ~ glover the United
Statss. Sc his AL his advertisements Den
yer Tribune. as n .aa
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26
AusEx-Goycrnor's Ex.r.l

EXIT. Gov. Norman j.. Coleman, OF
st. Louis, soyg: MY wife has fourd
great benefit in the use of ST. Jacobs on
IA a pail-cure."
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26
Young Meh

VINO may DO suffering from tho effects OF youthful
iollies or indiscretions will do well to avail themselves
OF this, the greatest boon ever laid ~ the altar of SUI
'oring humanity. DIR. WAGNER VIII guarantee to for
disease Of any Kind and character which he under.
takes to aud fails to cure.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26
THE NECESSITY
FOR THE SPECIALIST,
DIR. II. WAGNER,

Has long been acknowledged and more 80 nc this day
than any other. The vast field OF medical science Is
ever increasing, and It's numerous branches arc
brought nearer and nearer TO perfection, and
Hence the necessity for dividing the labor. And IL il
true beyond all doubt that disease, affecting the gen
to-utinary organs nccl special study moro than any
hing else, " we would understand and know now
rcat them properly.
pR II. WAGNER Ia fully aware that there are
many physicians, and some sensible people, VINO will
'' A.Tu him Tor making this class Of diseases a spe-
..N'.y, but heis hn. py 10 know Fiat with most per-
.nal uf refine icnt and intelligence n msrc onlightcn-
"a view is taken Of the su jcct, and tina. thc physic-
ai who dcvotcs himself 60 relieving the afflicted anil
'. Ing thcui from worse than death, l. no less o phi
E hropist and bouefautor to his "a o than the sur.
con OF physician who by close apull'- zion oycCls in
anthrrphy that condemned the victims OF folly or
crime, like the lcpats under the jewish law, to die
incarcd for has passed away.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26
Shall We Reform 2

Specific remedies FOR ri diseases ~ the theory
practice ct present o, educated Pnd experience
physicians, and in all lr communities they have
their specialtics, to excl IN which they direct their
studies and practice DIR. Me9ner is q successful IL
Illustration OF this modern school OF pecisltes and his
unprecedented success TIE treatment OF private
diseases is US wonderful as Ii Is fatterin3. Prot. J.
Slmms. 5ufat 40 I4udfuga IN
Those persons who need medical relief for the most
delicate OF diseases willfind an accoinplishcI and sue.
cessful physician in the person Of Or. Wagner, No.
343 Larimer street, who Is highly recommended ythe
medical profession al nome and aboard. Pomefoy's
Democrat. Eigotry aud ignorance must give way 70
wisdom, aud the vile physical, believes in letting his
ink is the torch he can besS use 70 gnide the weary
aud sick one 10 the fountain OF health II this article
should DO instrum enta, as a t'T0ECHLit HI" set up.
on q hill to guide sufieiio humanity 70 Si3 Iaiimer
street, Den Yer, Colorado, ~ VIII answer the purpose
for which Il. was written. Address "a tlaG
DR.. HENRY WAGNER,
p. o. box ESQ, or call at 3A3 Larimer Street,
r.,1e. tts7ahu,v nNf lanl Il Donser, Colo.
ssResd the 0lumn headed ''1hs Necessity for the
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26

... rprc destructive 80 human health and Q
#l ,au, .~e,iilcuco and famine combined. So go
a. ua,ngushod UTitcrIuohyNca ago,and 1t II aSt "
b O4dly n, then, The pos NtCGlm OF Blood d. o I
druggch VIII Mercury to ere TIE ma&'y aud tlcl
uo-.d with Ioiides - care him Of 9 Mcrouriu' y "
oliuI; hnt stead OF 3Hoi, / &c iii one brca' y dos ;
his gcIcrpl health aud ma.cs HIM r. a., iple, Pun b, c
other 'in- his digestive orguls, To thofe atf'lt :
IN this WY NN rs Specific II the grcatltt Don o.
ear IN, and ~ wOi6li more than it, weight IN sold. 1t
altidutcs this MclCrrinl Poi ~, tones M tie system
and brings the sufferer bacn 10 Lcalthenl h.pp'nccq
n, ~ rcrsoI Who has ever v On < Iva should b"
~ means Ia Z II thorough course of this 4 NEEDY.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26

eyes. l do. Ut will cost you just $3.50,
to stay away"
&1he millionaire paused. He studied the
exterior Of the clerk and The varied chirJ
grophy Of the m in silence for .
time, and then exclaimed;
well. Humph! al think about
You may tell Senator Blair th11 fll by
be there
Jay Gould was there aq I'll newspaper
readers know. As he was leaving the
committee room to catch the elevator -
~"2-estahlioh personal rccolIcoS'ous vI1a
'a '%'eStoeL, " the anne clerk stopped as-
Io'o on amo oeu6, pleas ", C,n',
Nnui e>ouge ne, bUJ Yul,e ear1cd
9mothing by your Testimony" Mr..
Gould looked VI III aston'shnent, aud
mo c'erE went On: "Ycs oil wine
c3 are entitled to $3 cloll as y Fee To-
then testimony. There is So due you,
sir."
"BuS 7 don't wart the S3."
81" + 10 tho pCDr then, VIII this
- s-ag''ia End p~ni'ap''rop'o suogestlon
he clork ben bold a pol q d abb / re-
geipt to secure BE ,nil iona'~o's signatme.
Bat the latEer got npf.2red and OK
claimed:
"No, ] can't sign that. IT MIGHT look
az if | took the money if | did" Then
be adjusted h's diaHnor l-s,udd | 4"
put on his has and boltod from the room.
The So which would hpve gone t. He
poor IS stu in The Senate CON >
treasury.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26

Price: Small sze, sl.0O per bottle. Large s'ff
(nolding double quantity, sl,76a bottle. Aldigs
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26
.srrEn.oNnLLn. Twmns ID Gn

tivo years ago ! found ON NY ultntation q co'orr3
urn WIZ wa bat' diseased. &c stated ~ : hyu
salH ei0rt q had contract lRNOlout case o. bloc
Ers, gtd npI boon IT, { by many ,'iysic
t-ea ~ 'nr tprufc him ~ @. tea hi,i with NIT :
Ops &c. ant iu u siol5 tune he wP7 sound and well,
ID. mot han n symptom OF lie d'Sca- , since,
n. NJ HUGHES
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26

one gcntlsmr who had been con'nei to his le
six weGiJs with Mercurial llbouIIatism has berh ca J
entirely, and speaks IN the highess raise o. $. $. $.
CHILES a. BERRY,
Chattanooga, Tenn.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26
ALRXAEDgR'sC Gag

New Lord-1 Conn, May 0, 1883,
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-07-05

| ''s'A AAss'> - ASAsAto>s ~ NoN
don't sit still"
Again Harvey led the pony. Again
the tantalizing nag stiffed in his harness
the instant Miss Lila took the reins.
Many times was this farce repeated, and
many were the minutes wasted. Mean
time the sky had become overcast,
and thunder was muttering in the dis
tance.
my mother has been very ill. If she
is caught in the shower she may get her
DEATH" cried Miss Lila, in distress.
"Oh, what shall we do?''
IF you'll pardon the suggestion,
might drive you to the Eyrie, if that is
your destination" said Harvey, with a
deprecatory glance at his masquerading
costume.
"Oh, ,ciN you? But there is your
horse and cart?''
Il could come for them.''
land with all mammals shawls and
pillows, the phaeton is hardly wide
enough for us two"
That is true; it is Lilliputian af-
fair. The youth was gravely testing
its light springs and braces.
Is there danger of breaking down?
Then you 60 with mamma, and II drive
the cart.
Lila Lavender! The idear' expostu-
lated the invalid.
Tom Cavepder's mother and sister,
by the ashes of my uncle! Confound it,
what scrape!'' was the young soap
merchants inward ejaculation as he
awaited the ladies' pleasure.
What better can do, mamma?
shall ride famously. Unless you're
afraid to trust me with your horse, -
the young lady added, with a glance
toward Harvey.
mot in the least. He's far from be.
ing fiery Bucephalus."
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-07-05
Fashion Notes.

Costly satin fabrics, brocaded with
clusters of walnuts, are imported.
Gold basket-straw bOnnets, trimmed
with tiame-colored lace and fancy sill
yer straws and velvet intermingled, are
the newest fancies in French millinery.
The Chinese and Japanese styles OF
head-dress are in high vogue among
ultra-fashionable women, and the stars
and heads of the pins they use to thrust
through the top-knOts are often studded
with diamonds, rubies and pearls OF
rare value.
Among the most costly fabrics for
summer evening toilets are zephyr bro
cades and brocatelles, with brilliantly
colored exotics on dark grounds; mag
nificent Indian tissues, woven with
threads of gold or silver; heavy otto
mans in all the new artistic shades;
lampas, with satin stripes figured with
velvet flowers, and damasks, with huge
single flowers or bouquets in clusters,
raised on sheeny satin grounds of prim-
rose, pineapple, cinnamon and golden
brown, tea-rose, shrlmp-pink, cameo,
mauve and endless shades Of green.
Summer mantles offer but little variety
in shape from those of last season; they
are demi-pelissc visite. and manteletts
or scarf mantle. Some of the most ex-
pensive wraps are made of brocaded
gauze velvet, or of brocaded Sicilienne
gauze, finished with marabOut fringes,
elegant passementeries, chenille banda,
or with beaded embroidery, lace and
satin bows. There are many very bea,l-
tiful wraps for young ladies, in graceful
shapes, and made of white lace, white
or tinted ceSile velvet, lined with pale
colored surahs and trimmed with pearl
fringes, costing twenty-five dollars a
yard.
A pretty and serviceable fabric for
adjoining summer dresses of white Of
candle, French muslin, and the like, is
new very sheer cambria, with solid
embroidery covering its entire sur.ac
from sewage to selvage, the embroidery
being done in exquisite Swiss, Venetian,
old Flemish and Irish point patterns.
This material will be used for jersey-cut
bodices to be attached to skirts GOV.
cred with ruffles embroidered in pat
tern to correspond, the joining of skirt
and bodice being concealed by sash
drapery of extremely wide MORE or sat.
in ribbon. Children's entire costumes
will be made of this elegant material.
Many of the new parasols of silk and
satin are lined with Watteau-patterned
foulards, with lace arranged on the out
side in fan-plaiting. These are es.
pecially designed for garden-party use.
coaching and like occasions, and not
for the promenade. Other styles are of
broche satin, edged " 18th marabout, and
all are large and coup-shape, with the
flaps on each gore arranged in the same
way as last year. The prettiest sun
shade seen thus far this season was one
covered with biscuit-colored broche sat
in, wrought sparingly here and there
with gold embroidery, and bordered
with a wide band of feather trimming
of the same color. 1t was lined with
the new China blue, and made perfect
bit of color. " Y. Eue,,ing Post.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-07-05
Touched the Chord.

At noon yesterday there were half a
dozen idlers at the foot of Woodward
avenue, some asleep, some looking de-
spondent, and two who had just assured
a pedestrian that they must have work
at some price or starve. A gentleman
suddenly stepped out of an Office and
approached one of these men and said:
"You look like an honest man."
Eyes, sir, do"
"And you are hard worker"
Il am that
81 presume you could be trusted in
any capacity"
"Oh, know cOuld.''
"Well, l have a job for you. Our
porter at the Sixth National Bank has
left us and we must fill his place. The
only thing-that is-you see"
Do you want recommend" asked
the man, as the other hesitated.
"Oh, no, no, no! You see, we have
been paying the other man 81, 600 per
year, and-ard-"
land what, sir?"
"Well, the board has decided to cut
it down to $780,"
Then don't you take it!'' said the
mans partner.
Then I won't! If amt worth as
much as the other man was, the board
can do its own sweepingn'
The gentleman walked back into the
Office, the winner of box of cigars. He
had wagered that he would offer the
man place at $500 per year, and
that It would be refused. Free
Press.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-07-05

light of sympathy IN their eyes they rush
into the conversation and, partaking of
your own zeal, they take the words from
your mouth, and cheerfuily suck the
juice out of your joke, handing back
the rind and hoping for reward. That
is where they get left so far as am
concerned. am always ready to repay
rudeness with rudeness, and cold pre-.
served gall with such acrid sarcasm as
l may be able to secure at the moment.
No one will ever know how l yearn for
the blood of the interrupter. At night
1 camp on his trail, and all day 1 thirst
for his warm life's current. In my
dreams l am cutting his scalp loose
with case-knife, while my fingers are
twined in his clustering hair. walk
over him and promenade across his alb
domen as I slumber. l hear his ribs
crack, and l see his tongue hang over
his shoulder as he smiles deaths mirth-
full smile
do not interrupt a man no more
than would tell him he lied. give
him a chance to win applause or de-
composed eggs from the audience, ac-
cording to what he has to say, and ac-
cording to the profundity Of his pro-
found. All want is similar chance
and room according to my strength.
Common decency ought to govern con-
versation without its being necessary
to hire an umpire armed with a four
foot club, to announce who is at the bat
and who is on deck.
1t is only once in week or two that
the angel troubles the waters and stirs
up the depths of my conversational
powers, and then the chances are that
some leprous old nasty toad who has
been hanging on the brink of decent
society for two weeks, slides in with
low kerplunk, and my fair blossom
of thought. that has been trying for
weeks to bloom, withers and goes. to
seed, while the man with the chilled
steel and copper-riveted brow and a
wad of self-esteem on his intellectual
balcony as big rs an ink-stand, walks
slowly away to think of some other
dazzling gem, and thus be ready to
bust my beautiful phantom and tear out
my high-priced bulbs of fancy the next
time open my mouth.-BiN Nye, in
Detroit Free Press.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-07-05
What the Boys Found Under the Rock.

'I'm going to try 'em," said Grand.
pa Gray; and his eyes twinkled. Grand
pa Gray's eyes were always twinkiing.
He meant his three small grandsOns,
Hal and Herbie and Had.
So, at dinner grandpa said to grand
ma:
II wish Ihad time to take that rock
out of the yard there. It's real eye
sore to me-"
Cant we, grandpa'" asked the
boys.
'.Well-yes, if you want to-" said he;
land I'll be much obliged to YOU
So directly after dinner they set to
work. 1t didn't look like very large
rock. But it was a good deal larger
than it looked, really.
''Pooh!" said Herbie; It'll take it
out in no timer and he got a stout
stick and tried to pry mp the rock. But
the stick broke and Herbie got fall.
from which he jumped up red and
angry.
"Mean old thingr' said he; and he
put his hands in his pockets and
watched Hal and Had tug at it until
their faces were red, too.
linen the three OF tnem luCeO tOSetn-
err; but it wasn't mite of use.
Lets get the hoe!" said Had.
''And the littlest crOwbar!'' said
Hal.
''And the shOvelY' said Herbie.
So Had hoed around it and Herbie
shoveled and Hal pushed the crowbar
under the rock, and bore down on it
with all his might. The afternoonwas
very warm, and the three little scarlet
faces needed a great deal of hopping.
But the boys wouldn't give it up.
''POor little fellows!' said grandma,
looking out through the vines.
But Just then great shout announced
that the work was done; and there
there where the rock had lain were
four silver dimes; one apiece and one
for luck.
"Hurrah for grandpa!'' cheered the
boys; and at that very minute grandpa
walked out of the house.
pretty well dOner' said he. giving
each little head pat as he came to it.
"Pretty-well-dOne
And now the boys are anxious to dig
out another rock; but grandpa thinks
may be silver dimes won't grow under
the next One.-Youths Companion.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-07-05
The Man Who Interrupts.

do not, as a rule, thirst for the blood
OF my fellow-man. l am willing that
the law should in all ordinary cases take
its course, but when we begin to discuss
the man who breaks into a conversation
and ruins it with his own irrelevant
ideas. regardless of the feelings of hui
mainly, [ am not law and order man.
The spirit of the ''Red Vigilanter'' is
reused in my breast and I hunger for
the blood of that man.
lnterrupters are of two classes: First,
the common plug who thinks aloud and
whose conversation wanders with his
sO-called mind. He breaks into the sad
dest and sweetest of sentiment, and the
choicest and most fearful of pathos,
with the remorseless ignorance that
marks stump-tail cow in dahlia bed
He is the bull in my china shop, the
NORWOOD in my wine, and the kero-
sene in my maple sirup. 1 am shy in
conversation, and my unfettered flights
of poesy and sentiment are rare, but
this man is almost always near to mar
it all with q remark, or a marginal note,
or story, or bit of politics. ready to
Uuot AAy uCduAlAu1 uCdLh anu ludhc ulc
wish that his name might be carved on
marble slab in some quiet cemetery,
far away.
Dear reader, did You ever meet this
manor his wife? Did you ever strike
some beautiful thought and begin to
reel it off to your friends only to be shut
off in the middle of sentence by this
choice and banner idiot of conversation?
If so, come and sit by me. and you may
pour your woes into my ear, and in
turn will pour q few gallons into your
listening ear.
l do not care to talk more than my
share of the time, but / would be glad to
arrive at conclusion just to see how it
would seem. I would be so pleased and
so joyous to follow up an anecdote till
l had reached the :" nub," as it were, to
chase argument home to conviction,
and to clinch assertion with authority
and evidence.
The second class of interrupters is
even worse. It consists of the man
and, am panied to state, his wife also
who see the general drift of your re-
marks and finish out your story, your
gem of thought or argum mt 1t is very
teldom that they do this as YOU would
90 it yourself, but they are kind and
thoughtful and their services are al
ways at hand. No matter how busy
they nay be, they will leave their own
sork and fly to your aid. With the