Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-03

HE prssECIS HIS Pa.

HE DIssECIS HIS Pa.
al untlerstan yonr pa has got TO drink
ing like a fish" said the grocery man to
the bal boy, rs the youth came in the gro
Gerry anG took handful Of dried apples.
"Hc has been fullern goose ever since
New Years day. Ii is getting so they
look to me to brace the old man mp every
time lie gets OIL u tear, AMI | guess fixed
him this time so he will never touch liquor
again. scared him so his bald head
turned gray in single night"
"What under heavens have you done
to him now," said the grocery man in as
tonishment. ~ hope you haven't done
anything you VIII regret IN after years"
"Regret nothing" said the boy, ~ he
turned the lid Of the cheese box back and
took the knife and sliced off piece OF
cheese, and took few crackers ont OF the
barrel, and sat down on soap box by the
stove. You see ma WAS annoyed TO death
with pa. He would come home full, when
she had company, and lay down on the
sofa and snore, aud he would smell like a
dstiil-ry 10 hurt me TO see ma cry, anu
| told her would break pa Of drinking II
she would let me. and she said II would
promise not TO hurt pa to go ahead, and
promised not to. Then | got my chum
and another boy, quite big boy, to help,
and pa is all right. We Went down 10
the place where they sell arms AMI legs,
To folks who have served In the army, or
saw mill or a threshing machine, and
lost their limbs, and We borrowed some
arms and legs, and fixed upa dissecting
room. We fixed long table in the base
ment, big enough to lay pa out OH you
know, and then we got false whiskers and
moustache, and when pa came in the
house drunk and laid down on the sofa,
and got to sleep we took him and laid him
out OH the table, and took some trunk
straps, and u sircingle and strapped him
down to the table. lie slept right along
all through it, and We hal another table
with the false arms and legs on, and We
rolled up our sleeves, and smoked pipes,
lust like / read that medical students do
when they cut up man. Well, you'd
dide TO see pa look at us when he woke up.
saw him open his eyes, aud then we
began 10 talk about emitting up dead men.
We put hickory nuts in our mouths so
our voices would sound different so he
y. al / Asnl
other boys about what time we hat cut
ting M, the last man we bought. said
he Was awful tough, ami WHEN we Ian
yot his lrps of and had taken out his brain,
his friends came 10 the liSsecting room
and claimed the body, and We had to give
it up, but saved the legs. / looked ~ pa
OH the table aud lie began to turn pale,
and he .quirmed around TO get mp, oit
found he Was fast, and rs he began 10
NOV. took AN icicle, and in the dim light
of the candles, that were sitiin. OH tile Ia
bI,. I'm beer bottles, drew the icicle across
ma, stummick and | said 10 my chum,
doc, guess We better cut Ope" this "id
duirer aud see il lie died from inhamma-
ton of the stummick, OF n OH hard drink
lug, as the coroner eaid he did" Ia
sbu.l,lered all over when he felt the icicle
going over his bare siummick. and he
said, "FOr Gods sake, gentlemen, What
does this mean. / am not dead The
other boys looked at pa in astonishmeht,
and | said, "well. We bought you for
dead, and the coroner jury said you were
dead, and by the e.ernal we amt goinSt to
be fooled out Of corpse when we buy
one. are we Doc?" Ny chnm said not IL
he know ell himself and the other students
said. "Of course hr is dra!. lie thinks
he is alive, but he died LAY before y-sier-
day, fell dead oh the street, anil his folks
said he had been a nuisance anil they
woiildn't claim the corpse, AID We bought
il at the morgue." Then drew The icicle
acro.s him again, and said, 81 don't
know about this doctor. fiud that blood
follows the scalpel rs ! ciit through the
cuticle. Hand me the blood sponge
please" Pa bcga'. to wisgle around ant.
we looked at him, and my chuIn raised his
eve lid, and ioosed solemn, and pa said.
.'Hold On gentlemen, don't cut into me
any more, and can expltin this matter.
This is all a mistake. was OILY drunk"
We went into corner aud whispered,
and pa kept talking all the time. Tie said
if we would postpone the hog killing he
could send and get witnesses TO prove
that he was not deal, but that he was re-
spectacle citizen, and had family. After
we had held consultation went to pa
and told him that what he said about being
alive might possibly be true. though ws
had our doubts. Then I laid the ieic!e
across pas abdomen aud vent on TO tell
him that even il he ~as alive it would be
better for him to play that he sss dead
because he was such nuisance TO his farHi-
~ tiisi they did nor want him. andfawas
= ~d y,<ssr "A h n a, Iyfa lffefin1e