davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbus journal., 1883-05-09
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

The boys in one of our grammer
schools call their schoOlma'a am "Experi-
ence," because she is dear teacher
Boston Post.
-''Never kiss anybody on the mouth"
says DR.. Hall. ..unleSs you are reckless
of consequences" What. do they ever
bite? No matter-we are reckless
Chicago Tribune.
Somebody put fresh turnover in
among those on the counter of Phila
delphia railway restaurant, and the
traveller who got hold of it was so aston
ished that he gasped four times
Somerri!te Journal.
First swell: by JOve, Fred, this is
quite the highest collar I've struck yet"
Second swell: '.'rhink so, old man?
Well, don't mind telling you; it's little
idea of my own. It's one of the guvnor's
cuflS''
Rev. DR.. Hall said that every rock
was q sermon. When a boy was steal
ing apples from MIR. Halls orchard, the
latter pelted him out of the orchard.
When the boys father subsequently,
asked him why he limped, he replied
that he was very much struck with one
OF MIR. Hall sermons.
The following explains the differ
ence between luck" aad :. chance"
You take girl out to the theater and
discover that you haven't 4 cent in your
pocket. You are, of course, compelled
to invite her to an oyster saloon, after
tho nsrformauce. She refu,es for soms
raas1n. that's ..luck,' but y ..chance''
is million to one sha' s ie will accept.
Chicago Times. l. .cer'
At a recent CT = onSs me-. the trombone
player suddenly stoaspsi playing much
to the astonishmSht. q. the leader, who
demanded an explaIsS7ion. The unlucky
musician apologizeCh stating that he had
blown two of his front teeth into the in
struiAent; but his eScase was considered
too thin instead of Jeoth out-N. Y. Conn
mercidi.
IL don't believe you have the water
of the right temperature. You must get
thermometer" said an Austin mother
to the new colOred nurse. What am
dat?" ut is an instrument by which |
you can tell if the water is too hot or too |
cold" IL kin tell dat ar without any |
instrument. Ef de chile turns blue, den |,
de water am too cold, and eff hit turns red. |
den knows dat de water am too hot"
TEXAS SJtings.
A California man, coming home in |
the night recently. stumbled over some
thing furry in the hall With rare pres
ence of mind he did not give the alarm,
but crept around the animal which he |
judged to be bear. got his shotgun and |
fired both barrels into the beast. That |
awoke his wife and gave her the hyster-
les. and when he got a light and took
account of results, he found he had shot
his bearskin coat all to pieces. Boston
Post.
-"Look here" said the Governor to
q high State official, "when are yOu going
to pay ME that ten dOllars" Upon
my honor, Governor. don't know"
'.Why. sir. the other day, when l men,
toned the fact of your indebtedness. you
asked me where would be Tuesday,"
"Yes, sir" "Well, wasn't that a prom
ise that you would pay me tuesday,"
mo, sir" "Why, then, did you want
to know where / would be Tuesday?"
because wanted to know where you'd
be so could make arrangements to be
somewhere else. ."-ArkansaU Traveller.
The Columbus journal., 1883-05-09
Something Queer AbOut Ants.

Sir John Lubbock has made out that
ants do not recognize ants of the same
nest by any sign or password, though he
thinks itimpossible that in the case of
nests containing 100000 each. all the
ants know each other individually. The
way in which he disproved the sign or
password theory was exceedingly ingen-
ious. He took pupa from various nests
and gave to some of them attendants
from 8 different nest of the same species,
so that if they were taught any sign or
password the ants thus brought up would
know the sign of their nurses nest, and
not that of their own, except when the
nurse had been taken from their own
nest Then he returned some of them
TO their own nest, some to their nurses
nest. The result was as follows: OF
pupe brought up by friends, and re-
turned to their own nest, none were at
tackled, but all welcomed. OF pupe
brought up by strangers of the same
species, and returned to their own nest.
thirty-seven were welcomed and only
seven were apparently attacked; but of
these seven Sir John was doubtful in
three cases. OF pupe brought up by
strangers of the same species, and put
into the nest of those strangers, none
were welcomed; all fifteen were attacked.
Hence, ants of the same nest do recog-
nize each other. but not by any sign or
password-probably by some smell or
other sense quite unknown to US. The
whole series of these experiments of Sir
John Lubbock's are most interesting,
and we hope he will some day embody
his studies in an essay on these highly
Intellectual insects. Chambers Journal.
The Columbus journal., 1883-05-09
An Uncomfortable Position.

An alleged mesmerist named Town
send was placed in An uncomfortable
position before his audience, in Philadel-
phia, by a medical student who had
closely studied mesmeriSm and kindred
isms. and who insisted on propOunding
to the self-styled professor" a series Of
questions altogether beyond that individ-
uars comprehension. Finally the stu
dent asked why it was that the mesner-
lied subjects took particular care to stop
when they approached the edge Of the
platform, and never went dangerously
near a wall or an open window. The
professor" said: why. my friend. l
control these people absolutely. and
guard them from harm, don't you see"
It was evident that the student did not
.'see," for he requested that the subjects
who were nimbly capering about the
stage should be thoroughly bindfolded
and then submitted to that absolute
control which thoroughly guarded them
'.frOm all harm. don't you see" Il is
needless to remark that the very reason
able proposition was not accepted, and
the audience dispersed with tho cOnvic
ton that TIE mesmerist was . fraud
Chicago HsrsA
The Columbus journal., 1883-05-09

"'He! he! her squealed one . tn
Ewell felles, 'pooty good spunky dea-
cons now, them ber
deacon Twist heered him. and his
jaw kinder dropped. He u look 1T
Tanner and stepped right p % him and
ses:
"Brother Tanner; I've did wrong;
I've give occasion for the enemy to re-
vile, and them Sons o. Belial is a-makin'
us their music. We've shameG the Lord.
Forgive me, Brother Tannerr
Tanner he stood q minnit Jest as
though somebody'd d up and struck him.
Then he reached out his hand. and ses
he: -
'.Brother Twist, we have both sinned.
Let us ask forgiveness from OH high
s.And so savin'. he led Deacon Twist a
little piece off inter the shoeiuake bushes.
and Rod Garrett said he never in this
mortal world heered such dredful affectin'
prayers as they made, both on 'sm.
They didn't seem to think, he sale. as
though the was anybody round a. heaJin'
of 'em, only jest the Lord; but all the
men heered EN-.
The Elwells they stole away kinder
dumfoundered, but the rest stayed b..
When the deacons come out after spen,
a-holdin' hands jest like two youngsters.
they see they had been a-cryin'; and
when they shook hands right there, and
said as they'd quarrelled before folks.
they would make up before 'em, and l
tell We it done them fellows good.
"kod Garrett he said he b'lieved the
was suthin' in religion when he see
Deacon Twist a-loadin' of his boards for
him, and fairly forcin' Tanner to saw
the rest of Garrett logs afore he touched
his'n. And Hiram Platt he was kinder
on the fence before. but he came square
out and fined Chester meetin' next
sacrament day. and was q real close
walker afterwards.
"As for the deacOns, it seemed as
though they couldn't be good enough to
each other after all this. And it came
about that the was quite a'wakenin' in
Chester that winter; seemed as though
it took a start to tn old saw-mll. Itell
you what. Joshuay, practice is with all
the preachin' you can skeer Cp, now
amt it?''
..Well, mebbe." said the considerate
Joshhay: '.but arter all, Amasy. how
upon airth is folks a-goin' to know how
to practice without some preachin?"
..There. you hit the nail on the head"
said Aunt Desire. wiping her spectacles
Rose Terry Cooke. in Detroit Free
Press
The Columbus journal., 1883-05-09
Give Him q Medal.

On q Woodward Avenue car yester-
day one of our solid citizens, whose
weather predictions have never been dis
puted since he was rated worth 1000,
remarked to an acquaintance that this
was unusual weather for the last of De-
cember. He had hardly spoken when
an old man with bundle under his arm
hoped up and replied:
lit is eh? III just, bet you an even
dollar that you are Mistaken
Isn't this unusual weatherf'
'.No, sir! I'll bet you two to one We
had just such December week three,
five and eight years ago. Put up your
cash."
20. 1 don't bet on the weather; still.
think suck soft weather at this time of
year is singular"
~Bet you three to one it isn't singu-
larr' cried the old man.
Il told you wouldn't bet."
Then don't be deceiving people with
your weather talk. Bet you four to one
you can't tell what the weather was in
September"
The solid citizen was bluffed into 81
lence for moment and then he remarked:
Looks as if we might have snow"
"Bet you five to one we don't see
flake this week. piped the old man.
"How can you expect snow when the air
isn't cold enough to CONCEAL this moist
ure?''
Then it may rain"
"No, it won't! Bet you six to one you
never saw rain with the wind where it
isr'
swell, the barometer indicates storm
Of some sort"' shouted the solid man.
Ill take you on that. too, and bet you
seven to one that it doesn't"
. The prophet seemed about to haul out
. dollar. but he changed his mind and
fell back in his seat and growled out:
MAY be my thermometer doesn't
stand at fifty -four degrees above"
,s.No, sir! No. sir! Ill bet you eight
to one that you are at least three degrees
out of the way! Come. now"'
But the solid man came not--DetroI
Free Press.
The Columbus journal., 1883-05-09
Special Announce ment !
REDUCTION IN PRICE.

We offer the Journal in combination
with the american ATicHlturiSt, the best
farmers magazine in the world, for 81
II Year, which includes Postage ON both.
IN ADDITION, We will send free to eV-
cry person who takes both papers,
Magnificent Plate Engraving of DJ' PRES
last Great Painting, IN THE NEA.
lBNW." now on exhibition i'll New York,
ana offered for sale at 5000.
Tne eminent Artist. r. ;. CHURCH,
writing IT, u friend in the country Last
Drt"htr. thus alludcS To- this Picture:
l was delighted this morning To
see offered a. 4 Premium a reproduction
of i very beautiful Picture, IN THE
MEADOW" by Duprc. This Picture
~ an Educator "
This superb engraving I112 by II inches,
erriuSiUe Of toide bDrder, il worth more
than the cost Of both Journals. 10 il
mounted on heavy Plate Paper, and sent
securely packed i'll Tubes made expressly
for the pnrpose. When 10 be mailed, 10
cents extra is required for Packing, Post
age, etc.
M Subscriptions may begin at any
time, and the AgricnittTist furnished in
German or English.
The Columbus journal., 1883-05-09
COURAGE.

AN EPIGRAM.
Soldiers twain stood facing danger.
Side by side, alone and still;
Bold was one, to fear stranger,
Light of thought and stout OF Will
But the other, grave and serious.
Deeply pondered where he stood,
Felt the spell of themysterious
QvershadOwing neighborhood-
OF the mortal menace hidden
In that moments sudden chance;
TIL the throng Of thoughts unbidden
Trampled with bis countenance.
Then bis comrade marked his pallor,
And rsllying charge he made,
Out OF his light-hearted valor,
Lightly spoken: YOU'RE afraid!
..True my friend" with blanched lips said he
81 have fear as You have none;
But stand here. stauuch and steadv-
You, with half my fear, would rum!
-Wm. c. Wilkinson, ID. d., " ). >. 1snses
The Columbus journal., 1883-05-09

When q man ''mysteriously dissp.
pears nowadays his friends don't be-
gin dragging the river or casting around
Tor Q murderer until it Is known how
his books stand and how much mcosy
10 has borrowed. Nbst, .Ea0
The Columbus journal., 1883-05-09
Seventh Sons.

1t is reported that q spike maker at
Troy. who is the seventh son of q seventh
son. is SO steadily in demand by sick peo-
pie. who believe that he is born healer
of diseases. that he has been obliged to
abandon the nail factory and devote him.
self to his patients, and that baseball
player. who is also seventh son of q
seventh son. is going to start on heal
ing expedition. How the accident of
being born seventh in line of sons can
enable man to scatter health broadcast
is something that professors in medical
colleges have never yet explained, but
should the system prove satisfactory in
practice no explanation will be neces-
sary. To be healed merely by talking
with 4 man who had half q dozen broth
ers born before him is much easier th&n
going through course of physic and
being subject to the blunders of careless
prescription clerks. If some seventh son
will do some trifiing thing, like extir-
pating cancer or restoring defective
eye, Just to show his genuineness, he will
md business enough to make him eter-
nally bless his birthday.-N r Herald,
The Columbus journal., 1883-05-09
1870. 1883.
COLUMBUS gournaI
Is conducted asa
FAMILY NEWSPAPER.

Devoted To the best mutual inter
est- of its readers and its publish
ers. Published 1T Columbus Plat,
county. the centre of the u"ricul-
tural portion of Nebraska, il il read
by hundreds OF people east " no are
IOOkin" towards Nebraska IA their
fnlurc home. Its subscribers III
Nebraska are the staunch, solid
portion of the community, as is
evidenced by the fact that the
JOURNAL has never contained Il
"dtin" against them, AMI by the
other fact that
The Columbus journal., 1883-05-09

AT q recent aristocratic marriage in
England, several of the gentlemen wore
plain gold earrings.
The Columbus journal., 1883-05-09

"A Chicagoit item about horse dying
OF cold is headed "Afrozen plug" u
is hard for a. Chicago reporter who be.
gan his career IN the Fire Department t6
let 60 OF the old dlalect-betroit .Fret'
Press.
The Columbus journal., 1883-05-09
ADVERTISING

In it's columns always brings its
reward. Business is business, and
those who wish to Eeach the solid
people Of Central Nebraska will
find the columns of the JOURNAL
splendid medium.
National Republican., 1883-06-25
Social Notes.

The wedding of Miss Drum, daughter of
the sdjutant general of the army, to Mr..
Harry Hunt, of the navy. which will oscur
on Wednesday next, promises to be an event
of greater social interest than usually takes
place in Washington during the summer
months.
A largo number of guests met at Mrs. South
worth's cottage last evening, most Of them
warm personal friends of this talented au-
thoress. Quiet social interchanges, music,
and tea occupied the time most pleasantly.
Among the guests were Judge Kingbury,
Prof. Hedrick and wife, Judge Tanner, Judge
Bond, Prof. and Mrs. Spencer and family Mr..
and Mrs. Babbitt Mrs. Morrell, Col and Mrs.
Burke, Misses White, Mrs Slain, Mrs. DR..
McKim, Mr.. John Hitz, and Mr.. and Mrs.
Lincoln, Mrs. Baden and her lovely daughters
assisted in entertaining the guests. Mrs.
Southworth will remain here until the fifth
of July. Her Sunday evenings are noted for
their quiet and scholarly entertainment.
Invitations are out for the wedding of Mr..
Louis G.. johnson to Miss Sarah Isabella Evans,
daughter of Rev. and Mrs. w. b. Evans The
ceremony will take place on Wednesday even
ing, June "a, at the residence of the brides
parents, 300 Thirteenth street southwest.
National Republican., 1883-06-25

A silver wasIdtuu.

Mr.. George ]. Gockeler and lady celebrated
the twenty-ffth anniversary Of their we'd
ding yesterday at their residence, No. 70S NJ
street northwest in the presence of large
number Of friends and acquaintances, many
of whom expressed their appreciation Of the
worthy couple by handsome presents of silver
ware or floral designs. In the evening Rov.
Mr.. Schneider, of the Concordia church on
Twenty-frst street, performed the marriage
ceremony again, and tho company sat down
to substantial feast. Among those present
were:
Mr.. and Mrs. Knippel, the father and mother OF
Mrs. Gockeler, aged respectively eighty and sew
enty-six; Mr.. GooKelers son by his first wife; Mr..
and Mrs. George Henry, Mr.. and Mrs. seufierle,
Mrs. FriesS, Miss Henrietta Gocbeler, q niece Of
the couple; Miss Minnie Xander, Rev: Mr..
Schneider and wife. Mr., and Mrs. Chr Gockeler,
Mr. and Mrs. Neufter, Of New York Mr. and Mrs,
tier, Mrs. stolppe,, Nj. aud Mrs; Lutz
the Misses Minnie and Annie Kneesi
Mr.. and Mrs. G. Kneesi, Mr.. and Mrs. Oscar Rob-
erts and the Misses Lulu aud Minnie Roberts, Mr..
and Mrs. Thalberg and Miss Nora Tbalberg, Mr.
william Henry, Miss Flora Stanley, Mrs. s. M
Gordon Mr.. and Mrs. Behan, Mr. and Mrs. MIN
nan, Mr.. and Mrs. Brchler Mr.. Hatch, Mr.. E.
Benjamin. of New York, Mr.. and Mrs. William
Walter, Mrs. Settler, Mrs. Muir, MFR. William Bn-
gel. Mrs. Gottlieb MUIR, Mr.. Edward Tiade o
Dubuque, Iowa, Miss Gertie Steppa Mr.. and Mrs
Charles III. Wilkinson, and others.
National Republican., 1883-06-25
THE BLuM-EIsEMAN NUprIALs.
Impressive Marriage Ceremony Mt Marini's
HnII--Who Were Present.

Impressive Marriage Ceremony Mt Marini's
HaIl--Who Were Present.
The wedding ceremony Of Miss Rosa Blum,
daughter of Mr.. N. Blum, we'll known East
Washington merchant, to Mr.. Lewis Eiseman,
prominent young merchant of Baltimore,
was celebrated yesterday afternoon at Marini's
hall Invitations had been sent out to about
400 persons, in response to which over 800 as
sembled in the spacious hall. At the farther
end upon a raised platform an improvised altar
had been erected. which was prottily decorated
with flowers. The bridal party entered at
$3.50. the organist playing Mendelssohns
wedding march. First came the ushers,
Messrs. Jacob Eiseman, Leopold Eiseman,
George w. Noohman, George Fay, Solomon
Mas, and Jacob Fried; the bride leaning
upon the arm of the groom came next, with
members of the family following. Rabbi
Stein, in impressive tones, united tho couple.
At the conclusion Of the ceremony Mr.. and
Mrs. Eiseman held reception, receiving the
congratulations of every one present, Tho
party then proceeded TO the lower hall, where
a splendid collation. was spread, which was
duly discussed. Among the many present
were:
EMiss Trplett Mrs, Stein, Mr.. II. Micheilis, wife,
aud daughters, IL. King, Jr, aud wife, j, T.. Her
man and wife,, S. Bieher and wife, IL. King, ST.,
wie, and daughters, l.. Fullheimer and wife. w.
Wolf wife, and daughters, A. kaufman and wife,
H. +. Levy and wife. NJ. Cohen and wife j. Her
zog and wife, L.iYoung and wife, A, David and
wife, A. Elseman and sister NJ oppenheimer and
daughters, II. l.. strausberger and daughters,
josepS," " Paalng,' ''nTen ). LunthelhsT sSon and ID
wife, Nose MalehRus and sisters, and
the following from Baltimore; Jacob Haas
and wifo e. Adler and wife, Maj. Strauss and wife,
Misses Carrie and Bertha Elseman, Miss Treidberg
Miss Rosslie Nochman, Miss Ida Dyaz, Miss
Heenie Haus, Mr.. and Mrs. HeAs, Mr.. !. NJ Ham.
burger Miss NJ Hoebochelt, E. Heller, Edward
Dyaz, George Hollander lsadore and Miss Rosa
RerLernbeTg and A. Odlor, ir.
National Republican., 1883-06-25
ALEXANDRIA AFFAIRS.

Seven homing pigeons, belonging at North
ampton, Mass, were sent to this city to be let
loose, which was done at $50 a. m. June 2l
and two of them reached their home the same
day at $50 p. m. Distance, air line, $40 miles;
time nine hours.
Owing to the scarcity of vessels, coal freight
rates have been advanced ten cents per ton
to Providence, II. L., and fifteen cJnts to Bos-
ton, and in proportion to other northern
points.
Capt. A. j. Fair bought at auction ON Sat
urday the schooner Annie Bell, tonnage 12.49,
for the sum of SO
The churches were we'll attended yesterday
the regular pastors officiating in their respec.
tive pulpits, except in the First Presbyterian
church, where Rev. E. II. Cumpston preached
an excellent sermon.
The gospel temperance meeting at Reform
Club hall was led by Rev. j. A, Kern, of the
NJ. Il. church south.
The closing exercises of the ST. Johns
academy will take place at Armory hall to-
day at p. m, and will be Of an interesting
character.
The following have been elected officers of
Andrew Jackson lodge, No. 120 A. +. and
A. NJ, viz: French Smoot, w. NJ; Q. IL.
scharff, s. W.; @. A. Yoke, j. W.; G. f..
Steiner, treasurer, and j. Il, Alexander sec
retary.
Preparations are being made for the erection
of the new engine house for the Columbia
company on st. Asaph street. Workmen
were engaged on Saturday tearing down the
frame building now upon the site selected.
The engine house, when completed. will be q
handsome building
The county court for Alexandria county
conYenes to-day, Judge James Soughter, pre-
siding. Among the cases TO come before the
court is the contested election case Of Robert
Walker vs.. Christopher Costello These par
ties were candidates for supervisor at the
late election, and Costello was returned
elected by one majority. Mr., Walker con-
tests on the ground that several votes writ
ten Costello" simply, and Others marked
"John Costello" were illegally counted as
being cast for Christopher Costello.
Rev. II. T. Sharp, rector of Grace church,
in this city, has received call to st. Luke's
church, at Hot Springs, Ark.
DR., Fawcett has contracted for the build
ing Of eight frame dwellings on Patrick
street northwest Geo. Jones, the Contractor,
will at once commence their erection, Small
houses are in great demand at this time.
National Republican., 1883-06-25
A pALAT1AL CONFECTIONERY.
An Ice Cream Rcfreshment EstabIish-
ment.

ment.
Mr.. Edward Flick, the popular ice cream
manufacturer and oyster packer, who has
been located for some years at his stores in
the Center market building, has found IL
necessary, on account of large increase of
business to enlarge his facilities. He has
leased the elegant largo three story building
No. OIL Pennsylvania avenue, recently oc-
cupied by Mr.. j. ]. Chapman. This increased
room will enable Mr.. Flick to connect with
his business a magnificent saloon, confection-
cry and cake and pastry bakery, for which pur-
pose workmen are now engaged in remodeling
and decorating the establishment in the most
modern style. The ground floor will bo used
az salesroorn, Office, and saloon, and will be
| furnished in most excellent style with
hard wood cases, French plate mirrors,
rich hangings, &C., such furniture as will on
able patrons to enjoy Fick's delicious ice
cream, fine French drip coffee, hot rolls,
| just from the ovon, pure cream and milk,
served in handsome style by experienced,
accommodating walters under the direction
Of Mrs. Flick herself, who will always be on
hand TO welcome her guests.
The floral decorations of this saloon will be
profuse and of superb character. They
are being made at Roses Partisan flower
store.
Tho second floor will be fitted up luxuri-
ously as an ice cream and refreshment parlor
This will be the largest saloon in this section
Of the country, and will be used also for pnS-
ties, banquets suppers, &c. The third fo'r
will DO used as the culinary department, by
which, arrangement all odors of manufacture
ing and cooking will be excluded from the re-
mainder of tho building. One of tho bost
caterers in tho country will have charge OF
this department.
In order to supply all tastes and fancios,
Mr.. Flick has just completed q sories Of ex-
periments in manufacturing leo creams OF
many havors heretofore not used in this To-
cality, many of which will be introduced.
This elegant establishment will be thrown
open about July 12 and Edward Flick g. Co
and Fick's ice cream, cake, oysters, &c, will
be known in every household