Morning journal and courier., 1883-09-12
MATCHED OUT,

| A Texas hen sat for three days on 8 nest full of hailstones and matched out @ cyclone. \ She has not been seen since-Boston Jour- I nal.
 | What do you think of Fielding2" she asked young MT. Tawmus. ''Oh, it's impor- tant, of course but it won't avail anything | without good batting !"-Boston Post l The husband 'sWell, my dear, did you see some beautiful things on your mountain excursion p The wife: ''The guide told me to look where walked all was able to | see was my boots l''
 The attention of scientists is hereby drawn ! to very strange statement just sworn to by ! 8 gentleman from Chicago. He says that none of the young ladies of that city have ! little toes.-Roohester Post-Express. 'tCan't understand this at all,'' said young Tyson, sscan't understand it at all." IWeli, tell it, said his partner. ''Why, whale goes down below, doesn't it ?" s'Oh, yes '" ''And this magazine says 1t comes up to blow, too. Now that's nonsense" But mo- body would listen to him.-Burlington Hawkeye.
 A western paper, announcing the illness of the editor, piously adds, ''An subscribers who have paid cash in advance are requested to mention him in their prayers. The others need not, as the prayers of the wicked avail nothing" This is pretty rough on the oler- gymen who have been getting free copies Texas Siftings.
 Idiocy of the weather topic: Well, how do you like this weather ?" inquired old man Barnstable of Mrs. McBaker, who. always 1t at all, D snapped that aniable virago. t.Ah,, don't ?" mildly replied old Barnstable, Ger sr- how do you think you would like it if it suited you ?"-Texas siftings.
 'sProvidin'. "A man at the Central Mar ket was in need of boy to assist him at his peanut stand, and in some way it became known to coIored man on Calhoun street. Yesterday morning he put in an appearance accompanied by his boy, a lad of twelve, and applied for theplace. "Oan your boy read and writer" asked the peanut man. 'sHe kin, sah." Ills he willing and indus trious9" "He am, dat.'' "Can you guarantee his integrity9" "II- refer to his gittin' up airly7" 'I refer to his honesty. If should leave him in charge here for several hours would he abuse my confdence?" "Well, sah. !" said the man, as he walked around the stand to sec how it closed up, stif. you shes down the Eivsr an' turn de key an leave dat boy on de char heah wid plenty of apples to eat, I'll warrant his integ- rity agin de prominentest man in Detroit! "-1 Detroit Free Press.
 THE NEW JERUsALEM. 1'se g'wtne fer to live in New JeruEaleM. Dem angels am awaitin' fer me to come; De Lawo am pardon all my Sins, I'm allus hand when dc 'vival beginsI
 Come a1ong sister, come wid me,
 The best waternsllion ebeE you see,
 Plenty long collArds and hcminee,
 I'm g'wine hsmei De Lawd saves de sheeps I'se got de wool De debbf for my soul gfb mighty hard pull But my LAwd was strongest, de rope go slack,
 An old MaGsa Debbil went over on his back
 Come along, brother, eome with me-
 The gates open wide for you so free
 De lame can walk, de blin' can see
 I'm gwine home Satan tried ik once, my soul to s,priss, But took my Bible and hih him tween the eyes: Says I, "Old Satan, reckon you are beat, For rse got dem golden slippers my feet r''
 Come along. chil'en. come wid me,
 you want dem golden streets to see,
 An hear dem angels aingint free.
 Pm g'wine home
 Washington Post.