Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-08-16
THE SOUIRE'S Fun.

Squire Doolittle was farmer fat
and jolly, who liked fun. but always
preferred it at some one elsc'S eX-
pense.
If he could play trick upon ore of
his sons, he enjoyed it hugely. As 4
consequence, the boys did not reverence
him very much. and were always try
inc some practical joke upon their
father. Sometimes they succeeded, but
not often.
"Tm too old fish to be caught by
the pin-hooks of boys" he would say,
when some plan of theirs had miScar-
ried and the joke was turned upon
themselves, much to his delight and
their chagrin. you've heard of
weascls. haven't you? Yes9 Well,
weasels, especially old weasels, never
Sleep
1--WE must get a laugh against him in
some way said Tom. Hes too pro-
voking! I'd give dollar to trick him
in such way that he wouldn't like to
hear about it,
$50 would H. sad John.
"And I'd make it two,' said Robert
but we're hardly sharp enough.
That's the trouble
1t happened that the Squire was in
the haymow in the harm when this con-
versation took place, and the boys
were sitting on some boxes on the barn
floor.
He chuckled as he listened. and mo-
ment later called out from his lofty
perch: "Tll tell YOU what L II DO, boys.
When you get good joke on me, I'll
buy each one of you a hat"
The boys looked foolish. But finally,
because they had nothing else to say,
they accepted the challenge, and in IA
half-hearted sort of a way set their wits
TO work to earn the hats.
In the squire's tock of sheep was an
old ram called David. The animal had
a chronic spite against the whole human
family, and never lost an opportunity of
exhibiting it to any individual of the
family that crossed his path. If a
stranger entered the yard or pasture
where David was, the poor man was
fortunate if he was not Knocked down
As suddenly as if he had been struck by
lightning. The ram always attacked
the object of his attack, curb his neck,
shut his eyes. and charge! As may be
imagined. the great horns of the ami
NAL, backed up by the momentum
gathered by his charge, gave anything
but a pleasant sensation when they
came in contact with the legs of his UNI
suspecting victim. Generally board
was strapped TO his horns, over his
wOolly face. to ObStruct his range of
vision and serve as a warning to strang-
ers of his warlike propensitieS. But he
often contrived to tear it from his head
and then alas for his unsuspecting
victim.
The boys enjoyed many an hour of
fun with David. The sheep-paSture
came up to the barn-yard on one side.
and a creek ran along by both. Where
the pasture came to the creek there was
a very high bank, and this bank was
steep. The Doolittlc BOYS used to get
upon a narrow rock that was Just under
the edge of the bank. Here, when they
stood up. all of their bouies above the
waist could be seen above the level of the
pasture. Placing themselves in this posi-
ton they would attract the attention of
old David by calling and shaking their
hats at him. He was always ready for
battle. With lowered head. curbed
neck and a snort of anger, he would
rush at them with his eyes closed. TAX
ing advantage of this popularity. the
boys would drop down behind the bank,
and David would 90 over them and into
the water with plunge that would have
done credit to a Newfoundland dog.
Then he could get back to the shore.
looking wrathful and sleepish: but he
could not be induced to renew the attack
again at that time.
His memory, however, was poor. or
his pugnacty was too strong for his dis
erection, for in an hour. if the bows came
back and showed themselves above the
bank, he was ready for another charge
Perhaps the foolish animal thought that
some time he would be too quick for
them.
The squire had often watched this
sport, and laughed at David's reckless
ness and at his appearance as he
plunged into the water and came forth
with wet wool and disguised and wrath
full aspect.
One day the squire was in the barn
yard sailing the cows. He had half
bushel measure in his hand, and as he
looked over the fence into the sheep
pasture, and saw David watching him.
he held up the measure and shook it at
the old fellow.
David gave snort of. defiance, and
began to curb his neck and shake his
mead, as if challenging the squire to
combat
Il wonder if l couldn't trick the old
fellow in the same way that the bows
fool him?" thought the deacon. He
looked about the yard cautiously. His
sons were not in sight. and he concluded
he would have laugh at David's ex-
pense. Crawling through the fence, he
reached the rock on which the bows
stood in their encounters with David.
The ram had not seen him. When the
squire raised himself cautiously and
booked over the bsnk, David was watch.