Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1883-02-08
SPARKLING WIT.
The Bright side Of Light N Viewed
From Humorous stand Point.

From Humorous stand Point.
ONLY A REVOLVER.
A man recently entered IL Utica res
ltaurant and ordered u very elaborate
dinner. He fingered long at the table,
and finally wound up with bottle Of
wine. Then lighting cigar he had
ordered, he leisurely sauntered up to
the counter, and said to the proprietor !:
" Very fine dinner, landlord. just
charge ii 10 me | haven't got cent. y
" But don't know you,' said the pro-
prietor, Indignantly. "Of course You
don't. If you had, you wouldn't let me
had the dinner" Well, you must
pay for the dinner, l say :" "And pay
| can't" "I'll STE about that" said
the proprietor, who snatched a revolver
out of drawer leaped over the counter
and collared the man, eXclaiming, as he
pointed it at his head" Now, see If
you'll get away with that dinner with
out paying for il, you scOundrcl.
"W hat is that you hold in your hand ?'
said the impccunious customer, draw
ing back. THAT sir, is n revolver
go, that's n revolver, is 1t ! don't
care q iig for IA revolver thought IL
was stolnach-pump."
49,
Col. Bill McCracken enjoys the repu-
tation of pouring ont more whisky for
one drink than any other man in Aus
tin, newly -cleotcd members Of the Leg
islature excepted The Colonel was
taking drink at the Gently Dreaming
saloon, when the barkeeper remarked
-" say, Colonel, ! waited on man
awhile ago who pours out bigger drink
than you do" He was probably al
member of the Legislature. He don't
fessionals. No, he isn'ta member
of the Legislature He is "a very intel
grnt-looking young man, u stranger to
me. He is in the other room playing
billiards." Col, McCrackrn looked in
to the billiard saloon and exclaimed,
"Why, THAT'S my son Tom He has
Just come home from u military school
in Kentucky"
1t takes an Oil City girl 10 give a
hint. They beat all When John
went 10 see his girl the other night and
wanted to kiss her, she said, bashfnlly :
oh, no, you mustn't, John I've been
eating tatty, and it might stick to your
kiss, and didn't see the look of expires
sion in her eyes, as no sat down as close
~ he could 10 her. After she had |
watched him a moment she said Tat |
ty is sweet, John, and made no other
move. 4 think it makes my lips sweet
err said she. Il wouldn't wonder,
said John. Then she couldn't stand il |
any longer, but lust said right out -
John, you might hold your finger over
your moustache.
Ata recent fashionable wedding, at
ter the departure of the happy pair n
dear little girl, whose papa and mamma
were among the guests, asked, with a
chid's innocent inqnisitivcncss
why do they throw things at the
pretty lady in the carriage -
"For luck, dear" replied one Of tn"
bridesmaids. And why again asked
the child, doesn't she throw them
back -
'Oh, said the young lady, that
would be rude.
NO, il wouldn't, persisted the dear
little Thing, to the delight of her do1ing
parents who stood by, ma does
tin only three days, but who had been
paying attentions tna prominent Aus
tin belle, wanted to propose, but was
afraid he would be thought too hasty.
He deiicatcly hroachcd the subject rs
follows:
"If were To speak to you Of ma.
riagr, after having only made your ac-
uuaintancr three days ago, what would
you say to il go
Well, | should say never put of
till to-morroW that which you should
have done day before yesterday"
--~-~-
her grandfather in the country. She j.
fond Of milk Int firmly refused ia
drink any while there, without giving
any reason When she returned she
was asked
"You had nice milk there 10 drink.
II guess | didn't drink any of tia,
milk she Indignantly r.nlicd
II -,
81 s,,v him u,u..v.; !, nm, of -, old Il
.,,, - "' W" a
The following ouocdote il related of
I,anuistrr. the lannon's actor of III. last
,antury.- u. ,puu utnpJ inr ana ,;,,l,t -,
by the wings Of Drlry-I.ane \
h'atrc, small cotcric OF sctne-shiiters
we're discussing the performers of Ham $
et One admired Henderson,, another t
>''nble, ana each commented on his a
avorite. o
AZ last one OF them said, You may :
ak OF Henderson ana kemble, but )
Hamlet for me; for he's al a
ways done twenty minutes sooner than t.
nybody elsc! "A
- II
tommy came nome from school ana II