Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-05-11
Brother Gardner on Extravaganza.

Gem len, has painful bit o. news
to spread befo' de meetin',' began the
old man as he motioned to Elder Toots
to put down the alley window. "Nico-
demus Pembroke Scott, local member
of dis lodge, has crossed into Canady
an will not reappear among us. For
de las three months have bin expect
in some sich climax, an dis mawnin'
when messenger informed me dat he
had disappeared, arter failin' in an at
tempt to shoot hisself wild an ole boss
pistol, war not a bit surprised. He
leaves wife an two chillen an about
fifty creditors. ~ ,-,,t4
"What sent him off? De same rea-
sons dat am daily workin' to bring
about anoder panic-7de same reasons
dat explain de hundreds ob .bizness fail
ures-1e same reasons dat am cripplin'
de efforts of thousands of hard-workin'
men to secure homes of DER own-fam's
~ extravaganza. No, you can't call it
extravaganza; foOlery am better name
for it, Up to var ago Brudder Scott
was jobbin' aroun an maxim a dollar
a day. Den he got a situashun by
which he Armed fo'teen; dollars. per
week. He was poo off in de house ami
had debts hangin' ober him, but heah
was de chance to get chen. How was
it improved? In less dan one month
his wife was rugged out wild twenty
dollar dress, twelve shillin' kids, five
dollar hat an an opera fan. He had no
peace Oh min onless he obeyed her. In
SiNweeks she became too high-toned to
wash an iron fur odder folkses. In two
Al L i l. 4
red parlor carpet an cane-seat cha RS
all aroun' de room. In three months
she had to have black silk dress, gold
bracelets, a tony bonnet, kid shoes an
gold film in her teef. '-"'3
Dat foolery has reaped its harvest.
De husband found dat he was runnin'
behind, his home was bein' neglected,
his wife was bein' ig6ssTpped about, an
in, despair he has picked up his feet an
Slid out, 1t was the material result
tell you, my, freps, de tomfoolery of de
women of dis kentry am strainiD' on
de chalk-line till de cord can't STAN
somebody sots his foot do#ffi. De nan
who Arms twenty-five dollars per week
has somehow got de ideah into his
head dat de world expects HIM TO, dress
his wife as if he ARMED q. bankers
profits. Wives of men who can't keep
up wild der hOuse-rent am canterin' up
an down wild seal-skin sacques an six
dollar shoes. Wives of men who have
to dodge. de butcher an grocer AN
tailor am now selectin' spring carpets
an orderin' thirty-dollar lambrequins.,
Wives of men who couldn't raise fifty
dollars at de bank to save DER necks
am rushin' to balls an parties an
havin' DER expensive dresses described
fur de benefit of de public.
De so-ca1led society Of de aige am
composed of false hair, false pretenses,
debt-dodging am base decepshun. Our
rich people am distinguished by DER
plain dress an quiet manners. De
snides an dudes an dodos do all de
swaggerin'. rush on all de colors an
monopolize de biggest sheer of de
street. 3 You wait. De man who, lives
fur anoder ten vars will h'ar sunthin'
drap, an arter de drap' . takes
place de thousands of idiots who now
feel ashamed to admit dat they doan'
keep but two servant gals in de house
viii 60 back to DER bookstores an
wash-tubs an take DER proper places
in de purceshun. ''-From PROCEEDINGS
of The LiDlettin Club, ia Detroit Free
Press. s. - -