davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
HUMOROUS.

The man who predicted the Ohio
flood is on every corner.
1t is said that fashi enable ladies won't
go fishing this summer unless they can
get silk worms for bait.
When man puts his hat on the
door, and ten minutes later, mistak es
it for cuspadare, the funniest story
ever told won't bring smile to his
lips.
A cable says Prince Frederick Charles
has abandoned his intended trip to
Asia Minor. This will not make any
difference with our arrangements next
summer.
To Joseah Jefferson is attributed the
remark that although the lamented
Duchess of Gainsberough's hat may
form a fine back ground to q lovely
face, it is bad foreground to come
dy.
Earnest spinster-'S Since you sympa-
thize so much with the Blue Ribbon
Army, why don't you join us, Miss
SIasham?" Frivolous ditt0-"So !
would, only the ribbon is really such a
very dreadful bluel"
Standing before a clergyman who
was going to marry him, rustic was
asked, Wilt thou have this woman"
ETC. 1.-THE man stared in surprise and
replied: Ay, surely Whoy, 1 kumm-
ed a-puppusl"
Rev. Talmage has been preaching on
the eye. He assured his hearers that
it winks 10000 times day. The Roch-
ester Post Express says that it is sup
posep to be a little cling" at Mr.. Beech
er, but it doesn't think he is as bad as
all that.
Norman Macleod's story of rather
gIuttonous Presbyterian minister who
was used to look at a dinner before say.
ing grace; and if it was good one, be-
gan, "Bountiful jehovah" etc. If it
looked bad, ave are not, o Lord, wor-
thy of the least Of Thy mercies."
Bumbleton gave forth his first conun-
drum the other day. He was at a con-
cert, and took one of the best (vacant)
seats. The usher came to him,
and gently led him to a
bench in the rear. Then he asked
Jones, "Why am l like an old paid
bill?' and Jones replied, because
you're no account. But Bumbleton
wanted to say something about being
resented.
A learned professor. addressing one
of his class, asked if he knew what mag
netism was. "I-er-er did know, out
Z have forgotten" was the answer.
Calmly came the acathing rejoinder,
showing that even learned professors
sometimes have sense of humor:
Gentlemen, this is very unfortunate.
Mr.. Jones, the only man who ever
knew, has forgotten what animal mag
netism is"
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
A NOTED but UNTITLED WOMAN.


4hfRNrss f4fFoTsN~
The above is good likeness OF Mrs. Lydia Pink
ham, OF Iynn Mass who above all other human beings
may be truthfury called the Dear Friend OF Woman,
some OF her correspondents love 10 call her She
Is sealousiy devoted TO her work which is the outcome
of nfestudy, and Is Obliged to keep SIX lady
assistants, TO help her ansvcrthe large correspondence
wh'ch daily pours In upon her each bearing its special
burden Of suffering, joy at release from Il. Her
Vegetable Compound Is medicine for good and not
evil purposes have personally investigated IL and
satisfied OF The truth Of this
On account Of SIS proven merits Il "a recommended
and prescribed by the best physicians in the country
ono saysi 10 works like charm and saves much
pain. II will cure entirely the worst form Of falling
Of the uterus, LeucorrhWa, irregular and painful
Mcns.ruation all Ovarian Troubles Inflammation and
liberation Floodines, all DISBURSEMENTS and the con
soQnont spinal weakness, and Is especially adapted TO
the Change OF Life"
npcrmeates every portion OF the system and gives
life and vigor. II removes faiutness catulcncy,
destroys all craving for stimulauts and relieves weak
ness u the stomach. IL cures Bloating Headaches
Nervous Frostratcn, General bcciiity seoplessnoss
Depression and Indigestion. That sling OF bearing
down, causing pain, weight and backache. "a always
permanently cured by its II wiz at on times and
under all circumstances, act in harmony vita the lay
that governs the female system.
ltcosts cny e. per bottle six FOR S., and Is sold by
druggists Amy advice required 20 special cases and
the names Of many who have been restored 70 porcct
health by the use OF tho Vegetable Compound cnn ba
obtained by addressing Mrs T., with stamp for reply,
at her home in Lynn, Mags
For Kidney Complaint Of either sex this compounds
unsurpassed as abundant testimonials show.
MRS Pinkhain's Liver pls," says one writer "srs
The best ia the ieorld Tor the euro OF Constipation
Bilionsness and Torpidity of the liver. Her BLOOD
rurinerwors wonders IA It's special line and bids fair
to equal the Compound in It's popularity.
All must respect her Angel of Mercy whose sole
ambition ia 10 do good TO others.
Philadelphia Pa CO Mrs A. NJ d.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
The t'oniiuptor

Winena, Mimi, November %, 1879.
had been suffering with a severe cold for sew
eral days, and was hoarse / could not speak
above a whisper. Novewber 10th l met one OF
DR.. Warne-s agents On my train he handed me
a bottle 4 White Wine OF Tar Syrup. and one
hour after taking the first dose my hoarseness
commenced to leave me. In twenty four hours
my voice was quite clear and natural, and the
cold nearly cured. 1t is the best remedy eyer
saw. Respectfully,
c. W. WARREN, Conductor. 80
Chicago q Northwestern X. r.
For sale by all druggists.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

HOITHFEfL TDLEsFss

and perniciovs practices, pursued in solitude are
fruitful causes Of Nervous Debility, Impaired
Memory, Dependency, Lack Of Sell-confdence
and win Power Involuntary Losses, and kindred
Send three letter postage stamps for large illus
trated treatise suggesting unfaiing means of
complete cure. Worlds .Dispensary. Medical AS
ISOLATION, Buffalo, n. Y.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

luz NolTAIc BRLr Co.. Marshall, Mich, will
send Dr. Dyes Celebrated Electro Voltaic Belts
and Electric Appliances trial for thirty days TO
men young or old who are afflicted with nerv-
Gus debility lost vitality and kindred troubles,
guaranteeing speedy and complete restoration of
health and manly vigor Address as above
N: B.-No risk is incurred, as thirty days trial is
allowed.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

DR. r, Y. PIERcg: Dear Str Last fall my
daughter was in a decline and every body thought
she was going into the consumption. l got her a
bottle of your "Fayorte Prescription and it
cured her. Mas. MARY HINS0N,
OF all druggists Montrose Kan.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

One-third Of all who die IN Gcuve middle life
are carried off by consumption The most fire.
quent cause is a neglected cold cough, hoa rse-
ness, bronchial trouble or asthma all OF which
may be permanently cured by EILERT'S EN-
TR aCT OF TAR AND WILD CHERRY. Sold
l,v drftge,tatu
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

know Hop Bitters will bear recommendation
honestly. All who use them confer upon them
the highest encomums, and give them credit. for
making cures--all the proprietors claim Tor
them. | have kept them since they were first
offered to the public. They took Ugh rank
from the FIRST, and maintained il, and are more
called for than all others combined. So long as
they keep up their high reputation for purity
and usefu luess, shall continue 10 recommend
them something have never before done with
any other patent medicine
I / RApCnrK NJ d
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

A farmers wealth depends on the condition Of
ms stock. y hen scraggy and feeble they are
especially liable to distempers, fevers, colds and
all diseases which destroy animals. Thousands
Of dollars are saved annually by that valuable old
standby, UNCLL SANS CONDITION pow
DER
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
Ammonia for the Lungs.
Foreign Letter.

The Bulleton ofthe royal academy Of
Medicine of Belgium presents a new
method of treating consumption and
bronchial affections originating with NJ.
Nelson's. Ammonia, its salts or It's
complex compounds, is the curative.
The discoveries attention was first
drawn to the ammonia effects Of persons
inhaling the vapor Of carbonate of am
monia from stables. Livery-3table
keepers are usually the most healthy
looking of men, and are rarely troub-
led with respiratory affections. NJ,
Nelson's first medicated himself, during
q bronchial attack, by wearing in bag
attached to the neck Of his shirt pieces
OF amonia carbonate, and was cured in
few days. He then introduced i in
his practice, and satisfied himself OF its
remedial efficacy. Going still further,
ne sprayed the respiratory passages
with ammonia, and here too, he met
with surprising success.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

- Durability is better than show" Dnra-
bility Of health is worth more than the wealth Of
q Vanderbilt Kidney Wort is mas co. iLborsr
in maintaining health. With healthy liver.
bowels and kidneys men and women will always
be in good health. If the bowels are torpid, if
piles torment if the back Is full Of pain ret a
package Of Kidney Wort and be cured without
more suffering.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Restless iretful, crying children are sui ring
aud need for their relief DR.. WINC4ELI'S
TEEIHING SHQUp which is useful not oaly
for all disorders Of teething infants, but cures
coughs colds, Group sore throat, collie and
cramps Of older children, and should be kept in
every house Tor emergencies. Try it, only %
cents For sale by all druggists
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Isaac P. Chambers, the private sec
rotary of William II. Vanderbilt, de-
cltres that there is not the slightest
foundation for the rumor that the latter
is seriously i'll.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Many ladies who had scarcely enjoyed the
luxury Of feeling well for years have been SO
renovated by using Lydia Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound that they have triumphed over the
ills flesh is said to be heir TO- and life has been
crowned with the ADDED charm Of a fresher
beauty.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Miss Clara Barton has declined the
superintendency of the Massachusetts
woman's prison, on the plea of i'll
health.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Rev. DR.. Morgan Dix, of New York,
has written lie of his father, the late
General John A. Dix, which Harper &
Bros have in press for publication in
the spring.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
HEALTH.

Health is happiness and long life. The price
less blessing Of health can be retaiEed, or if lost
recovered, by using a medicine which the expert
ence Of years has convinced an intelligent pub
lie is both safe and eiiicaeious and that medi-
cine is DR.. Guysott's Yellow Dock aud Sasap-
arrilla.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Miss Abigail Dodge, better known by
her pen-name of Gail Hamilton, mas
been offered the trusteeship of the
Massachusetts, state workhouse.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Weak lungs splitting Of blood consumption,
and kindred affections, cured without physi-
WoRLp's DIsPESsARY MEDICAL ASSOCIATION,
Buffalo, n. Y.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Worms cause peevishness levers, commissions
and frequently death. pleasant, safe and GER
tain remedy is DR.. JACQUES GERMAN
WORM CAKES. Sold by all druggists.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

THousASDs OF persons VINO are bald to-day
might have ful heads Of hair If they would only
use CAROLINE, deodorized extract Of petroleum
which is tbs only preparation discovered that
Will really do this
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Sprains, bralses stiff joints, burns, scalds srd
rheumatism are relieved by Unclo Sans Nerve
and Bone Liuiment. Sold by all druggists
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

An economical man will keep the leather Of his
harness set and plable which preserves il from
cracking or ripping. He always uses UNCLE
SANS HARNESS OIL. Sold by all Harness
Makers.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

headache, constipation, liver complaint, bilious
ness are cured by that mild cleansing rcmedy
whlsh never produces pain, EILEET'S DAY
LIGhr LIVER PILLS. only 25 cents. Sold by
druggists
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Tom Thumb ENJOYS the distinction Of
being the shortest Knight Templar in
the world.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Mr.. and Mrs. U. S. Grant, Jr., and
Mr.. and Mrs. Potter Palmer, are now
ON their way home from Europe.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

slight cold, if neglected, often attacks
the lungs. "BrO'ca's Bronchial Iroctcy' give
sure and immediate relief Sold oii{y iu borcs.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
Kidney Diseas.

"A nobler Mirabeau" is what George
William Curtis call TIE late Gampetta.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Immediately after the adjournment
of congress, Senator Ednunds will Join
his wife and daughter in the south,
where they nave been visiting for some
time. They will together to the Pacific
coast by the way Of New Mexico. The
summer will be spent in Oregon, and
they will come home in the fell by the
northern Pacific route.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Julia Ward Howe is said oIhave
abandoned the cause OF woman suf-
frage
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Mr. Gladstone's progress is reported
in every satisfactory. He walks and
drives daily.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Good Friday falls on the Hebrew
Festival of Purim.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Mary Anderson, the actress, sent
500 to the food sufferers Of Louisvlle,
Ky.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

fRlh, Irritation, Retention, ncontinenoe, DEPOSIT
Efaveli etel cured by "Buchupalea.n q.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

1.-THE most brilliant shades possible, on all
fabrcs are made by the Diamond Dyes. Tn
equallsd for brlhaney and durability. 10 cts.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
OecIiue Of Man

Nervous Nea KnssS, Dyspepsia impotence Spxua
Deputy cured by Wells Health Reneweri OIL
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

Not long ago, the late Marshall Jew
ell boosted that he had never been sick
day in bis life.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

United States Senator-elect Cullom
will leave Springfield for Washington
the last Of this week or the first Of next.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
. -
Files and Bugs

Fnes, reaches, ants, bed bugs. rats mice gopherS
'nipmunSs, cleared out by "Rough ON Rats l6c
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01


iaunrniltnr ann iiM
linhle in curing FIN
pu:ic Fits, spa ~,
Commissions, 50 Nitus
lunCc. Alcoholism,
Opium Eating. kcr,
Nous debility ,NerOiuih
aud ull Nervous and
Blood diseases. ia
Eirrgympn, Lawyers,
Literary men, MaT
chants. Bankers, la
dies and an whose Sc
deuinty employment
causes Nervous Pros
trpnou. lrreFu'autic
ufthehiuud stomach,
bowels ur kiudcys, or
who require a nerve
tonic, appetizer or
Dilmulani, Samaritan
NprViueis Invaluable.
Thousands proclaim II
tlHmust wonderful in.
lesinitiug system For
,lg IS A. RICHMOND
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01
on a RUFFALo HUNT.

made my house their headquarters In
the party was Dr. WakcIe,d. VINO IN.
formed me that ! had a Ind ease Of IN.
durable Bright's Disease. and Save ne
preparation which might he sait. ease
me for a few weeks or months but that
was the best thar could he done. Around
the bottle WAS a newspaper. Now =,
newspaper was rarity IN our home. and
| sat in my chair looking it over when
my eye providentally fell upon an ar
ticlc relating a most wonderful cure of
BughtS disease -t the very malady that
was killing me hV the use AZ Warmers
Safe Kidney and Liver Cure. (of Roches-
ter, n. W Convinced that further delay
would be fatal. and everything else fail
ing, the next morning dispatched oue,ot
my BOYS To the nearest railway station.
many miles distant to obtain "a bottle Of
,hc tSafc Cure. The druggist said the
demand for the Cure was 50 great he
could not keep it in stock and he had to
send to Kansas City for more 1t was
more than q week before it arrived, and
I was daily getting weaker. Eut it came
10 last. and [ at once began to take il.
When | told DIR. Wakefield what | was
taking. he gave me q look. half OF sc0rn,
half OF pity. ms much a. TO .ay,
POOR FELLOW.
he is putting his trust in a humbug.
Nevertheless ] perseyered and for the
past wear and q half l have been as stout
and ragged as / ever was in my life.
After escaping the attacks OF Indians
a M "a half dozen doctors, ] was lying
i the mercy of a stil more dredful foe
that was about giving me the finishing
blow. when that great remedy stepped
in. slew my adversary. and placed me
firmly on my feet once more ! have
commenced preaching again; for look
upon the circumstances and manner Of
my cure as a direct interpOsition Of Prov
idence. and 70 Providence are my services
due. That is my story. ] think it is as
good as a romance-and much better for
Is is true"
Such is the substance. and very nearly
the language Of Elder Kites narrative.
Those who read it, and are suffering,
may benefit by his experience, if they
will follow his example
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-01

3 80, ~. e Fix
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1883-02-08
First Time in Print

Miss Louisa NJ. Alcott, writing to the
Boston Saturday Evening Gazette, gives
some "reminiscences of her early experi-
ences as an author. She says:
''One of the memorable moments of
my life is that in which, as l trudged to
my little school on a wintry day, my
eyes fell upon a large yellow poster
with these delicious words: Bertha q
new tale by the author of ''The Rival
Prima Donnas.' will appear in The Sat
urday Evening Gazette l was late; it
was bitter cold; people jostled me; Twas
mortally afraid I should be recognized:
but there stood, feasting my eyes on
the fascinating poster, and saying
proudly to myself, in the words of the
great Vincent Crummles, This, this is
famen That day my pupils had an iu-
dulgent teacher; for, while they strug-
gled with their pot-hooks, was writing
immortal works; and, when they droned
out the multiplication table, | was
counting up the noble fortune my pen
was TO earn for me in the dim, delight
full future. That afternoon my sisters
made pilgrimage to behold this famous
placard, and, finding it torn by the
wind, boldly stole it, and came home to
wave it ike a triumphal banner in the
bosom of the excited family. The tat
tered paper still exists, folded away
with other relics of those early days, so
hard and yet so sweet, when the first
small victories were won, and the en-
thusiasm of youth lent romance to life's
drudQery"
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1883-02-08
A Prolific Incubator.

Dr. E. Morwitz, proprietor of the Ger
man Democrat, is successfully engaged
in Matching chickens by artificial means
on his farm, near Bristol, Pa. The in
cubator which he uses is heated by an
ordinary stove, which does not consume
for the purpose of warming the eggs
more than a pound of coal, at 2 cost of
about three and a half cents, or less than
81 for the entire time necessary to hatch
out box of 400 eggs. Usually about
80 per cent. of these eggs are Matched,
which is so per cent. more than the re-
suits obtained from the Matching OF eggs
by the natural process. One of these
stoves will answer for four incubatOrs.
containing 400 eggs each, and as many
as 1900 young chickens have been
Matched by the artificial process at one
time. The eggs which are placed in
the incubator aud will not hatch out on
account of the want of vitality are taken
out after a few days, cooked hard and
fed to the small chickens, which are
very fond of them. 1t is q curious fact
that such eggs are really good for table
use, even after they have been in the
incubator for some time. The young
chicks are cared for in the machine un-
til they ere able+o care for themselves
in small covered place provided for
them to run in, with the aid OF an arti-
fetal mother. The incubator used in
the experiments is very simple, and was
invented and has been patented by M.
MEYERS, the superintendent of the farm.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1883-02-08
Tauaninus of life.

. The wind was bowling and the snow
drifting outside at a fearful rate, and
Jack was drawing on his Imagination
and telling us about how many charges
of shot he used in trying to kill cat,
when Bill Y, sn old frontiersman
and miner, extricated himself from the
cracker barrel, sliced off a piece of
cheese and exclaimed:
t.Teik about tenacity of life and hard
critters to kill, you oughter seen some
shootin' that l doner'
Jack opened his eyes and invited Bill
to 60 ahead and give us the benefit of
his experience. Expecting story about
$ grizzly or some other ''varmint," we
hitched around and were all attention.
"Well,' said Bill. sit was out in the
Black Hills. had been down to Chey-
enne and bought new Winchester. l
wanted to try it On something TO see
how she would carry, so 1 went out
back of the camp, and the first thing
set eyes on was old Ike Irving:s horse.
thought that would be a good thing TO
practice on, so / drew bead right
square between its eyes and pulled. L
saw the critter kinder jump little as
the bullet struck, but il did not tumble,
SO unhitched again. saw where the
second bullet struck-right between the
eyes-but the eyes kept staring at me
Just the same as before, SO (helping
himself to handful of loose muscatels)
( fired again and again, until L had
emptied the magazine, and every bull
let struck between its eyes, and that air
horse stood there just as well as ever.'"
..Now Bill" exclaimed Jack, ''that's
too thin altogether How far away
were you from that horse?'
.'About forty yards
''And you-you fired seventeen forty
four calibre bullets in between his eyes
and didn't knock him off his feetP''
''Yes," responded Bill, siding towards
the. door, ''you see old Ike was car
penter, the rs were capitals (old Ike's
initials), the horse was sawhorse.
and"
Bill had just time to get outside the
door when starch box crashed against
it and flew into kindling wood.-Forest
and Stream.