The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1883-07-28
Dress Reform.

TFrom the Brooklyn EagIel
want TO call your attention to our
system of dress-reform, commenced
al ancient dame with avery wide mouth,
as sbeentered the managing editors
sanctumand threw her hat on the table.
Looks very pretty" murmured the
managing editor, surveying the Bloomer
costume with critical eye.
"See how free and easy everything
is, continued the woman, brandishing
her arms and skipping around. "Did
you ever see anything to equal that %
Don't think [ ever did, replied the
managing editor, calmly. Pm pre-
pared to say that l never saw anything
anywhere that bore any resemblance to
it."
Comfortable, pretty, accommodating
oil the limbs and giving free play to all
the muscles. Notice that ?"
Don't really see anything else, -
clamored the admiripg editor. "That
element seems to be the mainstay of the
whole business.
Now ! want this paper to pick this
scheme up and make it popular among
the ladies of the nation. Are you pre-
pared to go into that branch of philan-
lhropy?"
Its a little out of the line of my
duties, responded the managing editor.
"lll call IN the religious editor. He
knows about such things"
q see, / see," muttered ii religious
editor, as he took the show in at a
glance. "You keep those pantaloons
up with suspenders, reckon"
That's just it, replied the delighted
refofmer. "That is where this costume
approaches that of a man, aud therefore
is perfectly comfortable.
Suppose you burst a suspender,
what do you propose to do about that?"
asked the religious editor, delicately.
"Sew it up" replied the woman
promptly.
But suppose you're on picnic and
there is no needle hard p
q don't know" murmurel the wom-
an meditatively.
"Tell me flankly," demanded the
religious editor sternIy. "do you know
how to fasten a suspender with a
stick 2"
"No l don't" retorted the woman.
Have you ever seen woman who
does ?"
81 don't believe I ever have, return
ed the reformer.
81 supposed so," commented the re-
ligous editor. 81 thought so. Now,
another thing. Do you know how to
tie button on with string?"
81 have never tried it," stammered
the woman.
81 wouldn't have believed you if you
said yen had, continued the religious
editor. You see where your dress re-
form viii come out IN case of accidep g.
But there is something else. You have
suspender5 for your, pants and another
pair for your socks. Now suppose you
were dressing in a hurry and those
suspenders got mix d, and you put the
pair for the socks on the pants and the
pants pair on the socks. And suppose
you hoisted the sock up to your collar
bone and You found your pants were be-
ginning to slip"
You're brute!" howled the woman,
as she made break tor TIE door.
THAT was rather tough, wasn't it 2"
asked the managing editor, regarding
the disappearing figure with an emotion
of relief.
q don't know" replied the religious
editor, looking longingly at the bottom
drawer Of the managing editors desk.
Underneath all her Dress reform she
was strapped up like a mule in black
smiths shop, and L knew it. If she
hadn't scattered on that last question,
she would on the rex', so 1t was only a
matter OF time How did you like that
applejack you were testing an hour or so
ago."