Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-11-16
LETTER TO BUFFALO ELL.
HAYMARKET, Prince William CO., Va, !
November IS. 1855. /,

November Is, lSSJ.
Mr.. BuVaio Bill:
My stars, Bill, what an old boy you are
to be sure Who would have thought that
YOU were such an eflcte specimen? And Sc
YOU have been "a contributor" to the oldes,
paper in the State "for 10 these many
years" Judging by your productions"
h ad put you down as somewhat out of your
''teens,n but l dofl' my hat to your hoary
age, Bill, and regret that | cannot do so TO
your wisdom In Difference, too, TO your
antiquity, l drop your alias, so popular
amongst the poor people OF Upper Irlnce
William" and address You by that name,
which you have selected because you so
chose
Oh thou venerable one, hast thou ever
Sin thy memory" Il quote you, save in
YOUR pronouns, hast thou ever lin thy
memory, as it extends over the far recedlng
past. hast thou ever encountered amid the
manifold productions that have appeared
within the GAZETTE so puerile an article as
your card of October 30th? Think oft, thou
artful dodger Arraigned before the bar OF
public opinion, on several specifications,
YOU write, wishing to retute such charges
Us we think necessary, we will take them IL
order given - Then, why didn't you do 80,
Bill? Where in your card is there areiuta-
ton OF single charge, or specification :?
Where IS there even al effort al an argu-
ment where is there the contrary evidence,
or the countervailing proof? And, Bill why
did YOU think it not necessary even to refer
TO the most important charges? Why did
YOU not give us the name OF The Baltimore
agent, who told you the fertilizer story?
Could YOU not have mentioned, even one or
two of the Prince William emigrants. who
had left their farms behind, TO liquidate
their Indebtedness? This sort Of dodging
wont do, Bill
Where is your confutation Of the charges
concerning the records Of the Haymarket
church You counter charge me with false
hood. That is not disproo:. My allegation
is that YOU wrote to the GAZETTE, some
months ago lif could recall the date, |
would reproduce your Words what purpoEl-
ed TO be "reminiscences Of st. Faui's church,
Haymarket, based upon data furnished BY
TWO Of The oldest members OF the parish.
Now. Bill, only on yesterday again, one Of
these gentlemen, this time III writing, char
acter;zed your newspaper account AZ "A
misstatement manufactured out o. The whole
cloth" and your denial as ''unbus!inS et-
trontery' You must try some other dodge,
Bill.
And, thrice" you say, since Oct. Sd,
have YOU trUd the barren sands OF Prince
William, over whose desert area the sphinx
of poverty forever gazes, &C., and three
have you returned" in safety. Well it WAS
right bold in you, Old boy, il il be true. but
your ways must have been dark, and very
devious. since nOne CT us, no, not even
MeSsrs Pickett and Smith, OF the Hay
market Bar, have caught glimpse ot you,
Bill.
Your twaddiing about Typographical er-
ror," dear Bill, is too transparently thin TO
conceal your iIliteracy. The printers dev-
il nav play the mischief with your orthog
raphy; but what has it to do, my untutored
friend. with your tropes, or with your syn
tax? Was your sphinx Of poverty" Bill,
which You lug i'll again III your last. al in
stance OF "typographcal error" Look, too,
at the construction OF the following sen-
tence, taken at random from your card /:
"The bare idea of comparing Prince Will
liam with Fauquier is preposterous far sur
passing the other in wealth" Now, Bill,
because neither you, nor any one else, can
parse this sentence, nor explain It's meaning,
don't blame the printer. No mistake OF
Typography there.
It does not require miserable peda-
Buffalo Bills literature abounds in such.
'mi.erable pedugcgue ?" A fellow called
friend OF mine "a demagogue; once, Bill,
but afterwards apolcgiZeG, explaining, that
when he used The word, ne really didn't
! know WHAT ii meant cauuot tell wbeth.
| er such an excuse can ne offered hv yen OF
not, but am wiling 10 give you The benefit
! of the doubt.
:! And, in your card, you quote !re ~ coln'
pa,iug you 10 MuuchauseIi. We'll: | be.
! lieye, | did pay you that compliment. my
merry Jester. ] say Il compliment, because
| the Baron was An excellent gentleman, "a
fellow OF infinite jest" with 81 single fault
q too free aud frequent drawing upon ar
over fervd imagination. But permit me
to withdraw the comparison as unlus
Munchauseu. He would stretch ths
blank et," it is true, Bill, but he did it 'or
his OWL. hook" and hung it on his OWL
shoulders. But you-you hrazenly contra
dict the repeatedly sworn statements of ;
half-dozen honorable gentlemen: in mat
ter of their oWu business, and then lay tht
responsibility on some one else, probably o;
unreliable rs yourself. by saying, i've art
told"
"We are told" says Buffalo Bill, that th'
crop statistics, as given by ''the writer o
Haymarket, are far from being correct,
and, then, this unreliable correspondent o
the GAZETTE" manufactures figures for him
self, which he calls ''the corret statement,
making, in his own language, "a dfferenc
of nearly one half" Now, Bill since tn
publication of your card, each of these gen
tlemen reassert the accuracy of the figure
given by 1.-The writer of Haymarket" an,
unhesitatingly brand any others as utterl
untrue. Beware, my fried, lest your repu
tation for reliability may be still on th