The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-04-01
HIS PA PLAYS JOKES .

In With his 6unoay.eut on ana q
boquet in his bntGon-hole, and pried
of o couple of figs from q new box
that had besn inst opened.
mo, sir, Haid the grocery man,
az he licked of the syrup that dripped
from q quart measure, from which
be had been filing q jug. II hold
that Q man that cats mad alta practical
Joke, that il, one that does not iniure
him, Is q fool, and he ought 70 be
shunn ed by ell decent people. That's
q nice boquet you have in your cost.
What is it, pansies? Let me smell oil
it," and the grocery man bent over
in front of the boy to take q Whit OF
the boquet. Az be did 20 a stream OF
water shot out of the innocent look
ing boquet and struck him full in the
face and run down over his shirt, and
the grocery man yelled murder, and
fell over q barrel Of axe helves and
scythe snaths, and then CROPPED
around for a towel to wipe his face.
You condum skunk," said the
grocery man to tbs boy, az he took
up an axe helVe and started for him,
"What kind Of golblasted squirt gun
you got there. I will maui you by
thunder" and he rolled up his shirt
sleeves.
There. keep your temper. took
test vote of you on the subject of
practical Jokes, before the machine
began to play upon the confagration
that was raging en- your whisky noee,
and you said man that would get
mad at . Joke was a fool, and now l
knew it. Here, let nae show it to
you. There ia 8 rubber hose runs
from the boquet. inside Of my coat to
my pants pocket, and thsrs is bulb
of rubber that hoids about hslf 8 pint,
and when O teller smells OF the poay,
squeeze the bulb. and yea see Ihe
result. les fun, where you don't
squirt it on O person that gets mad
The grocery man said he would
give the boy half . pound OF igs il hs
would lend the boquet 10 him for halt
an hour to play it On y customer, and
the boy fixed it on the grocery man
and the nezsle so it would squirt
right back into the grocery mans
face, and then the bulb in bic pants
pocket got to leaking and the rest OF
the water run down enc grocery mans
trousers leg, and he gave it up in dig
gust, and handed it back TO the boy
"How was it that your pa had 70 be
carried home from the so0iable in
hack the other night" asked the
grocery man az ne stood close to the
stove 60 bis pant leg would dry. He
has net got to drinking again, has
hef"
''Oh, no." said the boy, as he ELL d
the bulb with vinegar. TO practice on
his chum. ''It was this boquet that
got pa into the trouble. You see /
got pa to smell of it, and just filed
him chuck full of water. He got mad
and called me all kind of names. and
said / was no good on earth. and !
would fetch up in states prison, and
then MS wanted to borrow it to wear
it to the sociable. He said he would
have more fun than you could shake
stick at, and l ask him il he didn't
think he would fetch up in states
prison, and he said it was different
with men. He said when a man
played a joke there was certain dig
nifty about it that was lacking in q
boy. So 1 lent it to him, and We all
went to the socisble in the basement
Of the church. I never saw pa more
kitteny THAI be was that night. He
filed the bulb with ice water, and the
first one ne got to smell of his button
bole bCquet was an old maid who
thinks pa is a heather, but she likes
TO be made something of by anybody
that wears pants, and when pa sidled
up to her and began talking about
what q great work the Christian vim
men OF the land we're doing, in edu-
eating the heather, she felt real good,
and then SIZE noticed pas posy in tis
button. hole and she touched it, and
then reached over her beak to smell
OF it. Pa he squeezed the bulb, and
about half q tea~Cup fall OF water
struck her right in the nose. and
some OF il went into her strangle place,
and, 0, my, didn't she yell. The sis
tiers gathered around her, and they
said her face was ell PRECIPITATION.
and the paint was coming Of. and
they took her in the kitchen, and che
told them pa had slapped her with a
dish OF ioe-oresm, and the women told
the minister, and the deacons, and
they went to pa for an explanation,
and pa told them it was not SO, AND
the minister got interested and got
near pa, and pa let the water 60 at
him. anu hit him on the eye, and
then deacon got q desc, and pa
laughed, and then the minister, who
used to 90 to college and be bazer,
and box, got mad and squared of SID
hit pa three times right by the eye,
and one OF the deacons he kicked pa,
and d got mad and said he could
clean out the whole shebang. and be.
gan to pull of his coat, when they
bundled him out doors, and ma go
mad to see pa abused, ard she left
the sociable, and l had to stay and O. t
ice-oream and things tor the whole
family Pa says that settles it with
him. He says they havn't got any