The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
The Majors Mistake.
-Dash it, I'll save her Ifsl. said the Major

markable resolution he inadvertently wounded
himself with his razor, so as to compel resort
to towel and cold sponging, which put an end
to his reflections for time
Major Majoribanks was an active, cleanly-
built man, rather below the average height
He had an eye like hawks, beautiful hair
and whiskers, but no other striking feature.
His hands and feet were small and finely
formed, and a front tooth which nature had
taken from him had been exquisitely supplied
by the hand of art ~.s, +-.-t
The great feature Of the Majors character
was determination; when he said thing he
meant it. In the Crimea, if Major MAORI
banks had said that post should be carried
its fall was looked upon as certain. Zerlina,
the Majors vicious little mare, knew it was
useless to try and refuse if once her master
put her head straight for an obstacle. Like
the late Mr. Assheton Smith, he would quietly
sride for fall, !" if the leap were imprso-
ticable without one; and no one knew better
how to fall deftly than the Major.
But life spent, as it were, in succession
of pitched battles, does not pass without
leaving marks of wear and tear, and the Ma
jor, after his third bottle of hair-dye, began
to take very serious views of life. Short and
decisive were his nominations, and with char
acteristic promptness he determined on mar
riage as his next achievement For this pur-
pose he selected a young lady of remarkable
wealth and considerable personal attractions,
and devoted himself to the sacrifice like Sec
ond genia-barring the sex
Perhaps it was the very difficulty of the
achievement that impelled the dauntless Major
to the attack. Diana Hartford had already re-
fused two baronets, banker and four minor
deities before the Majors appearance in the
field, and still continued to ride across the
country with as much enthusiasm as if her
whole life was to be devoted to that occupa-
ton. People began to say that she would
never marry.
"The right man has not spoken" was the
general opinion; and the Major, as he gnawed
his mustache, resolved with an inward oath,
that he would prove himself that man, or per-
ish in the attempt E ...
Not that the Major was wholly devoid of that
impractical machine called heart Down in
little villa near country village lived little
lady Of 90 who could have told strange tales
of the Majors sentimentality Oh, Major,
Major! were not all your focks and herds
sufficient, that you must needs make this
innocent ewe-lamb captive to your bow and
spear?
But let US do the Major justice In this.
matter he was not altogether a free agent
Prom the moment he met Patty Roseneath he
had felt himself fascinated by her, in spite of
all his attempts to persuade himself of the
contrary That quiet, almost tinid little
provincial beauty, with general unsophisti-
catedness OF tone and manner, should have
any power to enchant the Major of thousand
battles seemed to him too ridiculous an idea to
be entertained for moment 1t didnot occur
to him that it was perhaps this very difference
from the women he had been accustomed to
firt with that constituted her charm.
Reviewing the matter that morning in the
solitude of his chamber, the Major looked back
on his love-passage with thankful sense Of
escape Il was mighty near making fool of
myself that time, said the Major to himself as
he tied his cravat
But though the Major congratulated himself
on being 80 safely off with the old love- he
was far from feeling so comfortable with re-
gard to his prospects with the new. Miss
Harford's heart seemed to be impregnabIe
even to this experienced besieger The Major,
who never committed the error of overrafing
his advantages, confessed to himself that he
had done all he knew. He had attacked the
fortress with all the pharaphernalia of sap
ping and mining, zigzags and parallels, and
still the flag of liberty float ed mockingly above
the unconquered bastions. There was but one
hope-a forlorn hope, he confessed to himself
and 1t was with serious, though deter
mined spirit that the Major resolved on an at
tack by storm. He pronounced this resolution
in the memorable words which commence this
story. Dash It'll" said the Major, aTll save
her life"
Perhaps, had the Major known who it was
that had arrived as guest, to Miss Hartford
on the previous evening, it might have dis
turbed his calculations. But there was no
reason why we should not listen to the con-
versation Of Diana and her guest, as they
sit by the bedroom fire in their elegant des-
habille s.....
Miss Harford was girl Of considerable
individuality Of character. Without affecting
any of the airs of "blue" or an eccentric, she
generally thought for herself on many sub
jects, and would state her opinions pretty
strongly on occasion. This caused her to be
regarded with suspicion and dislike by most
Of her own sex, and the weaker Of ours. She
was unusually-prudes said improperly-well-
read in the drama of the last century, and
actually preferred the school of Sheridan to
the school of Schneider.
what have been doing lately?" said she,
IN answer to question from her companion.
what am always doing? have danced the
usual portion of dances, round and square;
have read the last new novel, and tried the last
milk-and-water effusion they call ballad !;
and have ridden over the usual number Of
plowed fields. What more would you have
of woman in my position?"4'
@What queer girl you are, Di," says the
other lady wistfully. Il always said you
would never find any man to suit you exactly I"
That's just what I'm wanting, my dear-a
man. see plenty Of amateur jockeys and
polite letter writers. What want is man
one that is not afraid to benatural, or ashamed
to be earnest. / really think our average
dandy, with his cool self -suficiency, and his
insulting indifference, the most unpleasant
production of the age. There's the Major
now .f.,. .-.
%Who is that's
GMai. Maioribanks, my dear; the glory of
his regiment, and the idol of all the horse
dealers, amateur actors, and fast young men
for circle Of twenty miles. Why, Patty,
you're blushing,! You don't mean to say you
Il met him-that is-he is q friend of nv
brothers," said the lady with some hesita-
ton.
@And you've been foolish enough to believe
all his nonsense, child, 1 dare say. Come,
now?" 9r
well, he certainlyis an extraordinary man, I"
pleaded Patty
ooh, yes, very. He can ride kicker or
write burlesque. But as for heart-why my
dear child, he'd toss you aside, if it suited his
purpose, with as much indifference as toss
that withered camellia. Now, don't you waste
thought on him. I don't intend to, though
the wretched man has been making love to me
in his quiet way ever since he came I'm
afraid every day he'll propose, and 1 shall have
the trouble Of refusing him without losing my
tempern @
3But can't help il, }" said Patty, family.
x @Oh, yes, you can. You thought you
couldn't, down in that dull place, with nothing
else to think about, but you'll be under differ
emit treatment here, can assure you Plenty
Of exercise and excitement will soon cure you
III tel you what-as great treat tomorrow
you shall ride Crusader. Wen take quIes
cants along the lanes"
ooh, but can't ride strange horses" said
Patty.
sOh, you'n soon get acquainted Mind,
consider this great favor, and you mustn't
hurt my feelings by refusing. One of my
habits win tit You nicely. and when Won re