National Republican., 1883-05-24

Each other take for better or for worel"
Wallace Bruce.
WHAT are we going to do with our dead 2"
asks cremationlst. We throw ours into the awful
limehoe.-Pos- Express.
EIGHT Hebrews having been eleoted to tho
municipal council of Venice, the Commerefai. hd.
VertSe is ofopinion that sbyock is at last avenged
A PENNsYLvANIA physician and bia
amily were poisoned by eating ice cream. This
should be warning TO young men not 10 per,nIt
thoir lady friends to indulge In the deadly dish.
A TEXAS paper, referring to the death of
lady, says she was oyertaken by fatal attack
that onded in death. That kind of an attack "a
generally followed by funeral obseauies. Cam.
'nerctal Advertiser.
THE supreme court of Kentucky has de-
clded thata wife may recover money lost bv her
husband at gambling. The New Orleans Picayuns
quietly remarks: That is more than the husband
can do for himself"
FROM the German: Rich uncle to his physi-
oian SO you think there is hope for me % 1Not
onLy ,net but can assurc you that you arc
saved" Very well. wish You would inf,rr n,
my nephew. but break the news gently to him"
NUMBER of ladies, prominent in artistic
and literary circles in New York. have deter.
mined to give public expression of Miss Jowetrs
reputation as an aitst and woman by inviting ber
to breakfast at the Hotel Brunswick on sstur.
day next. ~ NN'uA'
AT wedding in Harlem, where the bride
was very dilatory in arriving at the church. a
iady remarked, concerning tho affair: Well. the
idea OF that woman being late in getting here
wnen sne has been waiting twenty.slx years for
Just such chance as this"
The Pittsburg Commercial makes the i'm.
porlant announcement that "the discovery of
america by Columbus was an event of great
mssniIuue. II was. indeed, big thing; but
Wnat words can express the discernment Of the
genius who discovered the dude2
New YORK barber, who had lost his wifa
py death, says he felt her cold hand upon his face
the OTHER night while lying in his bed. He couIJ
not cry out because his tongue was paralyzed with
terror The Cincinnati Saturday Night remarks IL
MS tongue would remain paralyzed there is 10 and
TO the custom that barber could draw.
IHE effect of the completion of the East
river bridge upon the price Of real estate in the
noighborhood of the Brooklyn terminus "a re.
markhble. Houses in Washington, Adams, and
sands streets are being sold at prices so per cent
nlsnot man they would bring year ago. People
DON'T really know how much To ask for property.
An Eden of Love il the namo of COM
munlsIc society that is being organized in St.
Louis. Members are received on the payment of
500 for each person. aud their children are ad-
mi'ted ireo. The object is TO unite the members
III 'heir labor, and in carrying OH their business
anairs, TO hold their properly in common for the
use Of all. and to dwell together in O common
home.
IT Is said that "Bastien Lepage wears his
blonde hair on his forehead, which is large, and
has 1t cut in straight line across it--in other
words, banged His eyes are light hazel, small
and keen, and his manner afIable, but positive"
nlag,.
Pos; like those fellows out west who put re-
volver to your head and insist on your taking a
friendly drink at their expense.
| AN individual six feet high and stout in
proportion presents himself at doctors office.
| "Well, sir" says the prince Of sciences, "what
| can do for your Doctor" replied the giant
| In voice that makes the windows rattle, "I'yo
lost my Appetite" God pity the unfortunate who
has found 1t then!" answered the doctor, SOL
emnly, "for unless he's millionaire he'll be a
ruined man before the months outp
The New York Sun is morbidly sensitive
| on tho subject Of bad grammar and It's esteemed
contemporaries, having been lectured and
| prodded by II on account Of their own occasional
lapses affect to be pnralyzed with horror over the
| following bloodourdllng sentence printed by the
Sun last week: Ifthe bout had not been stopped
Mitchell would have had TO have been carried
out Of the garden, rs he would have been in no
condition to have walked out"
ENTERPRIsINa Englshmen are proposinp
to convert the valley OF the Jordan In Palestine
into Il vast lake from ten to thirty miles wide, by
cutting a canal from tho Mediterranean through
| the Plain of Esdrnlon. This will enable engineers
| 10 connect the Dead sea with tho Arabian gulf
and new waterway from Europe to India will
thus be provided rendering the suez canal OF no
| account as an artery OF commerce. Il is said of
| hfu apha tIat
Palestine and be a fulfllment Of prophecy.
AN amusing scene was witnessed on Fifth
avenue day or two since. A well. known dude
was llstlessly standing on the curb, facing the
main entrance Of the Brunswick hotel, when an
Italian organ grinder rounder the corner and be-
| gan business The dude was entirely obliyious OF
| his surroundings and continued his Indifferent
and bored attitude. Finally, little girl, who was
an interested listener to the music, approached
him and tmidly proffered him penny. Then he
went into the hotel aud drank liquor.-Rochester
| Post Express.
| MRS. II. M. ScovILLE, of Chicago, has given
notice that she will file a petition in the courts
for permission TO assume the nRmo OF Frances
Marie Howe. Her counsel says she wishes TO
change her name on her own accoiint and that
OF her daughter Bertha. Being n divorced
woman she could either retain her husbands
name or take her maiden name. She desired
| to get rid OF the name of Scovlle, but OF course
| that OF Guiteau was not desirable, and Bertha
was very averse to It, So Mrs, Scoville has do
cided to take her mothers name. Howe and her
daughters name will remain unchanged for the
| present.
No GREAT artist histrionic or lyric, cares
button for English criticisms, writes Robert Laird
Collier from London. When salviDi first came 10
London he created no impression whatever.
| once having made great name in France and In
America he returned to London to create a Juror.
| Nilsson, Patti, aud Albani made their great names
before London conceded to them merit Marx
this prophecy: He5ry Irving will disappoiut the
American playgoers infinitely more than Mrs.
Langtry did. You hear of him as great actor,
Lady BuTdett. Coutts took Irving up, patronized
him, petted him, helped him financially. He be-
came q fashion and a rage, The newspaper
| critics first endured him, then accepted him. and
now laud him as the peerless artist. Henry Irving
is not a humbug, but neither is he great actor.
| He Is an abominable actor. He is from every
point an absolute failure as an actor tested by
| every rule Of criticism. He talks as II he had
hot potato in his mouth, and he walks as II he had
| Just thrown aside his crutches.
A NEW and strange vehicle, which has
made Its appearance upon the Paris bouleyards,
may be expected in this country in time and il
will doubtless excite much curiosity. II Is known
as L'Hirondee, but 1t has another name In Po.
land and Russia, where 1t is said to have been
] m n