The daily gazette., 1883-10-06
nirnrrNa rnE soAp.
The Difaculty Experienced BY Alr. Brown
an q Very Ordinary Occurrence,
FIrooklyn Eagle

Khe DlfIaculty Experienced by AIr. Brown
In q Very Ordinary Occurrence,
gBrooklyn Eagle.l
The other morning, while Mr.. Brown was
washing his hands, the cake of soap slipped
ont Of his fingers, and striking the wall flew
down behind the wash-stand. Mr.. Brown
ilnmedistely got on all fours, aud laid his
head on the floor to see where the soap was.
I'll was right against the wall and about as
fir from one side of the wash-stand as the
either. When Mr.. Brown began to reach
under with his arm, he found he could not
pet half way to the soap, because he was on
liz knees aud his back was almost broker,
and a sharp pain ran up his neck, and he
felt as If he had been dropping potatoes all
day. And then he lay on his chest, as
though swimming, and thrust his arm
dercely under, and took of about halt-a-
ward Of skin. This caused Mr.. Brown 70
foam at the mouth aud say to himself: by
rtraciousl this Is a test case, and am going
10 see if cake of soap can beat me, II
have to stay at home from business all DAY,
and break the wash-stand up In the bar
aainp' SO Mr.. Brown rolled over on his
back and thrust his arm es cautiously
as though there was a hornets nest under
the wash-stand On, on it went, and Mr..
Brown smiled smile that had every posi-
lie symptom of victory in it.
By this time his throat was full of dust of
the carpet, and frequently he coughed. Bwt
NOW bis finger-the very end Of his finger
touched the soap, aud that momentary
touch ylbrated through his soul like gen.
tle benedietion, and caused fresh crop OF
smiles to float as softly over his features as
does the summer zephyr across field OF
bearded wheat. That touch had a magic
about it that thrilled Mr.. Brown with di-
Pinest melody. 1t was to him, in short, what
spring chicken is TO the negro, and found as
lovely place in his dreams as does the
razor In the negro's boot. Then Mr.. Brown
turned on his side to see the soap, that he
might grab it; but when he got on his side
his reach was shortened and he couldn't
touch the soap. Then he turned over on
bis back and felt the soap again, and at
tempted to grab it. In doing this he only
sent the soap flying further back, and out
Df reach. In AN ecstacy OF rage, he thought
be might get the soap by making desper-
ate crack at it with his hand knocking 1t out
on the floor. So he hauled off and let fly as
hard as he could, and his hand missed the
soap and few around like a compass, and
struck the stone paper weight that was act
ing in the place of the leg that was gone.
Before he could count how maLy fingers
had been knocked out OF joint, he discovered
that the paper weight had. been driven
against the wall by the force OF the blow.
Ere he could utter the words that were on
the end of his tongue, the wash stand tilted
and upset the basin of water on him, and
while the water was in his eyes and cara, the
basin followed and lay ON his stomach like
tombstone, and pretty near KNOCKED The
| breath out of him. Before he could express
himself, although there were about foul
| thousand words inside of hin struggling Il
get out, the drawers few out, and emptied I
| lot of tooth powder aud rszors and lathering
brushes over him. Then the doors Of tn
wash stand flew swiftly open, and raised
couple OF humps on him that he will carr,
about ior several weeks to come. After thi
| Mr.. Brown turned over on bis chest, ant
almost inhaled q lathering -brush-he wa
breathing so hard. He saw the soap dis
tincuy. The soap saw him, too. He locke
upon 1t as a cat looks upon the mouse tha
is out of her reach. And Mr.. Brown CRIME
fiendishly at the soap and said: "Just com
out two inches from the wall, and give me
chance TO grab you. dare you to come ou
even one inch, you mean, miserable five-cen
cake OF soap. So you'll take a dare, viii
youi If / were only half your size,
wouldn't take a dare: | would face tn
music. You are spintless plebeian cake o
soap-you are only fit TO wash dog with
/ believe you are only an imitation of wha
you claim to be, you"
Here Mrs. Brown suddenly opened tn
door against Mr. Browns head, aud said
l,tWhy in the world don't you come down
II The breakfast IS getting cold"