Connecticut western news., 1883-08-22
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 ''The devil you haven'tr' roared presumptuous collector, slamming his valise down on cracker barrel. "No monkey business about this thing This is the fifth time have come here for that bill, and now propose to have it p
 "vel, mein frent," replied the mer- chant, little disconcerted, "1ch don't know how you vii git him."
 The drummer drew himself up to bis full height, and, assuming the air of prize fighter, leaned over the counter and whispered at the top of his voice:
 "Say Do you know that killed Dutchman oncep'
 "Och! So2 Dot ist yust der reason " Ich left Shermanny mein self al- ready" retorted the old teuton, as he reached for convenient ax handle.
 The drummer paid small boy half 8 dollar to go back and rescue his valise.
 AT THE PICNIC.
 Spriggins took Fogg's sister to the picnic.
 Late in the afternoon they wandered off together. and seated themselves on a moss-covered stone half way up the hill, from which they could enjoy the view below. It was here that Spriggins asked himself: ssIs not this the time for me to seizep This beautiful stretch of country below us. this cloudless sky above, all nature in holiday attire-doth not all seem to say 'Avow thy love'p"
 Fogg's sister sighed.
 "What is tp" asked Spriggins, softly. 'sThough all so beautiful, it suggests the need of something more"
 Exactly" said Fogg's sister. "I was thinking give me this hill in the middle | of March, after one or two thaws that have left it like glass; then give me good bob-sled, and as many of you get on as want to- so long as you let me steer give me this, say, and, take my word for it, I'd make the ice rattle Y
 Spriggins waited. PLANTATION PHILOSOPHY.
 Truth is stranger den fiction an mighty heap scarcer. De edycation ob a man is his silver, but his common sense is his gold. Tears ain't sho' sign ob tender heart, fur anger sometimes draws de tears from & man when sorrow would fail. Fortune sometimes comes ter de one what least expecks it, but it is more apt ter come ter de man what works fer it.
 De wust boy don't al'ers turn out ter be de bes' man. I has knowd good boys ter drag along an finally amount ter suthin'.
 Yer kaint allers jedge ob man by his public walk. It's sometimes de incest steppin' man dat runs down de heel ob | de shoe. De oman what is de wust bout rum nin' 'roun de eneighborhood tellin' tales is de one what complains de Ioudes' when somebody talks about her. De wust lick I eber got was from man what didn't want ter hit me. Now Tse mighty kereful bout crowdin' man. When pusson says dat he wants ter fight, yer's safe; but when he tells yer dat he doan' want ter fight, den stop right whar yer is. | DUN LAID BY DE CON. De ole gray goose is CT walkin down de lane
 we's dun laid by the con; | An she waddles in de wet an squats In de We's dun laid by de con. De ole SOW roots war de taters was dug We's dun laid by de con; | An de dominicker hen am a-ehas n ob de bug we's dun laid by de con. l De ole COW bawls | As her calf she calls,
 An de 'possum dog wags his tail; l goes wid my pipe whar de apoles is ripe, | An chucks 'em inter de pail. De ole weller houn am troubled wid heas- We's dun laid by de con; An it's too late now fur robbin' ob dc l bees | we's dun laid by de con. De ole bell sheep ain't afsered ob dc CUTS
 We's dun laid by de con; Fur her old gray backs all kivered wid burs--
 Wes dun laid by de con.
 De lark he cries
 As he raises an flies,
 An de white boy shoots wid bis gun; l But de birds keep on
 Der de tops ob de con,
 Case de boy he neber touch one.