Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1883-08-30
The Wooden Wedding.

"Suke, do you know that a week
from tomorrow will be the timber an
niversary of that dear connubial day,
when Cupid, lowering over the altar,
tied the hymenial knot which made us
twain"
Ben delivered the above fine bit Of
oratory, not in the effective. ofT-hand
manner which proves the impromptu,
but with halting precision which be-
trayed the effort it had cost to formu.
late and remember it; nor was it the
first fine speech have heard delivered
with an effort.
81 suppose you mean our wooden
wedding" l replied
Yes, but doesn't timber mean wood.
I'd like to know? Now I'll tell YOU
what I've been thinking. I want to
celebrate l.. 4 celebration of that
sort would be new thing in this neck
of woods, you see, and think it would
take big, 1t wouldn't cost much. and
there is no telling the useful things
which our friends might bring us.
The milk, eggs. butter, meat. fruit and
flour we have in plenty now, and. nc.
cording to my figuring ten dollars for
sweets and other jim-cracks would
furnish sumptuous supper for fifty
or more persons. read the other day
about an old fellow Of eighty, married
to his fourth wife. who celebrated his
wooden wedding. and his friends who
attended the supper brought them Just
oodles of things, among the rest set
of parlor furniture and a nice top
buggy. | believe it pays to celebrate
ones wooden wedding. to say nothing
of the pleasant occasion Of meeting
ones friends. I'll fix up the back
porch for them TO pile the heavy fur
niture on, and ifany one brings a new
reaper or top buggy it can just be
left in the door-yard Those who
bring precious goods in small pack
ages can put them "a the parlor table.
/ have written ont the invitation
card, which | will read 70 you: we.
the undersigned. have concluded 10
surprise our friends, and give them an
opportunity of showing their appre-
citation of rs. by celebrating our wood
en- wedding on date the --. All who
receive a duplicate of this card are
cordially requested TO come and bring
goOd appetite and whatever other
valuable piece of furniture his or her
generosity may suggest - Benjamin
and Sukey.' There, If you will allow
me, | think that's straight to the point
and hatter myself it is somewhat orig.
inal"
For mercys sake Ben, stop and
take breath and let me speak. II is
very easy to talk about entertaining
and furnishing supper for fifty or more
guests, but 1t is not so easy to make
the needed arrangements. How do
you suppose ! am going to get through
such an affair, and 40 help to be had
this side of Africa, that / know Of?
Here is a bit of wisdom want you to
stow away for future reference too.
The good appetites brought TO celebra-
tions of the kind you desire to make,
generally far outnumber all other val
uable pieces of furniture produced for
the occasion"
"Now Suke. don't go and spoil all
my nice plans with a big wet blanket.
My heart is so set on this celebration.
You know a fellow cannot have but
one wooden wedding. unless-unless
he--marries again. and somehow just
feel II in my bones that we will have a
jolly time, and our friends will do a
nice thing by us, In the way OF pres
ents, you know. I'll help cook"
The next two days Ben spent writ
ing out the invitations, then the cook
ing began in earnest. and Ben beat the
eggs and stirred batter and kneaded
dough till my head grew dizzy.
At last the evening Of the important
day arrived, and leaving the culinary
department for an hour or two in care