The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-01-26
RAILWAY EATING HOUSES
Where Hungry Travellers Struggle With
Ien-Cent Pies


The north may boast Of its wealth, the
west Of its enterprise, but the south is quite
proud in the possession Cf the principal
railway eating house-a place that the
hungry tourist visits but once, and then has
a lingering remembrance Of until he dies.
The gay traveller from the northlanl often
believes that he can tackle anything, but
the moment he goes dallying W it'll the eat.
ing houses on the southern railroads, he
feels his insignihcance, and wishes to call
out the militia. When train storms a
station, and the crv. Fifteen minutes for
supper" sgnalizes the charge, the hungry
traveller places himself at the head of his
comrades and storms the citadel of grub.
lie knows not what he is doing, poor, fool.
ish mortal, and even While his eyes CLEAN
with the true spirit Of chivalry, he is sud.
denly struck In the abdomen with deadly
corned beef sandwich of last years growth.
Brave man, he then realizes his fate, but
amid he roar of the hattie, ard while
bombs OF old cheese burst around him, he
summons enough strength to hoarsely cry:
steady men! Let us remember Bunker
hill, and die with our knees under our
chin" The principal feature about the
common run of eating.houses south of the
Ohio river, is the plain, unassuming little
apple pie which they set FORTH You can
bay the little pic for only 10 cents, but il is
seldom that passenger eats more than one
in n lifetime. After you have eaten
II and drank one or two glasses of
water, the pie gets sociable, and gradually
impresses upon your mind the fact that
you will not be lonesome as long as IL
travels with you. The strangest thing ia
you never do. About fifteen minutes alter
you have made its acquaintance the waist
band OF your pants cannot meet its note,
ana demand an extension. A half an hour
later, when you retire TO your berth in the
sleeping'car and fall into u troubled slum-
Der, the pie not being NJ all sleepy, con-
cludes to have some fun. The first thing
you see in your dreams is your own bod y
swelling into the shape of u balloon The
balloon gets larger and larger until Il
pushes the upper berth to the top Of the
car, and you hear the smothered cries OF
help OF the man IL contains. The swelling
increases US you imagine that you float up.
ward and bump against the roof OF the car
like toy balloon which has escaped from
the grasp Of a child. The feeling lasts for
tome time, but suddenly you swell until
You fill the interior of the car and suirocatc
Tue passengers, when You explode and the
train is wrecked. Opening your eyes you
ma Tue porter trying TO pry your knees
from under your chm with q crowbar, while
number OF passengers, aroused by your
Sepulchrsl rroans, stand around In their
night clothes and want to know IL YOU
feel sick. This ticklcs the little pie
and IL kicks up its little heels
with delight, and makes you froth ut III,
mouth and howl ike a wolf. The ten.cent
pie Is proud of the fact that Il has taken
hold of u strong man, who had been sho,
through aud never murmurcd ABOUT Il, and
doubled him up until his spine cracked
hurled him from one side Of his berth e
the other, and mado him bellsw for pare
Eoric likes child. This lie the style oil pic
prepared by eating houses IN the south ioi
the benefit OF travellers. II weighs four
ounces, contains three dozen full grown
cramps and eau always be purchased for
the small sum of ten cents