Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-05-24

| had We heard of the real gents whom
| you mention as having frequented your
fathers establishment. These things
interest and please us. Allow us to
show some small sense of the honor
| your society confers upon us, by chris
tening you as .Gentlemanly Joe,' ex-
cusing the liberty we have taken with
your name in consideration of the allit-
Grafton"
A great part of his speech must have
been lost upon Mr.. Joseph, but. never
| did elaborate sarcasm fall so utterly
| fiat. Instead of being offended, as we
had fondly hoped would be the case, he
| burst into an uproarious fit of laughter,
and slapped his gathered leg with the
ebony ruler in token of delight. "Haw!
haw!'' he roared, writhing about on the
top of the high stool. Whatever'll
father say! Oh, law, to think of it!
| Centenary Joe'-eh? p You're right,
though; you re right, and not ashamed
| to own up neither. I said when l was
comm up, Father says I, I'll teach
| them trick or two,' and ], have, hahn Il
IL? OF course were all gents here, for
clerks is mostly reckoned such, but /
| do make a difference when a man has
been brought in contac' with the real
thing. You can call me Gentlemanly
Joe, an pleasure, but not as meaning
to imply that there is any in this
room not such, though, may be, not one
of you has seen belted hurlsgive your
| father,one in the short ribs and boiler
out: You're a deep old scoundrel,
Smith, and one as knows how many
beans makes fven" "a
Welstead's face at the idea of his
equity governor receiving such an at
tentiOn at the hands of nobility was
SO ludicrous that we all burst into a
| roar of laughter, which ended the first
and last attempt to take rise out of
our bucolic companion. 1t is true that
his life was spent under continual
shower of small jokes and chat, and
| that his new name superseded his old
one, but there was massive simplicity
about the man, and a marvellous power
of converting the most unprOmisng re-
marks into compliments, which rem
dered him very disconcerting indi-
vidual to attack. Allusions to his hat
necktie, or any other popularity of raj
lment were met by his eternal horse
laugh, and an earnest recommendation
that we should allow him to send down
to the country and procure 'facsimiles
for all and each of us. "You hain't got
nothin' spicy in Birchespool," he would
remark. "Lord, / know place at
'ome where you can get your collars
spotted over with fox's 'eads instead of
bein' plain white, which is poor color
at the best" 1 think he imagined it
was nothing but want of money which
induced us to refuse to purchase these
and other Injuries, and he was wont to
throw out illusions as to ''it's not cost
ing us nothink,' while he jingled the
loose coins in his trouser pockets.
Town life did not improve Joseph.
On the contrary, he deteriorated. Dur
ing the first six months that he honored
the office with his presence, hernot only
lost none of the traits which he had
brought with him from his fathers. sta
bles, but he grated upon them every.
thing which is Objectionable in the city
snob. The premonitory symptoms were
suspicious Weakness of the half-dozen
hairs which adorned his upper lip, and
the appearance of large diamond ring
with greenish and vitreous hue. His
next venture was an eye-glass; and he
finally launched forth into a light ulster,
decorated with a large black check,
which gave him the appearance of be-
ing inside a cage, with his head pro-
jecting at one end and his feet at the
other. Its proper thing for gent
to wear" he remarked. ''When you
see get-up like this you know at a
glance who's cad and who ain ia
sentiment which we all very cordially
endorsed.
In spite of all these peculiarities we
learned not only to tolerate the Gentle
man. but even to like him. Indeed, we
hardly knew how strong this feeling was
until he betook himself into the country
on fortnight's leave, carrying with
him ulster, eye-glass, ring, and every
thing else which was calculated to inn
press the rustics and stamp him as the
natural associate of the ''belted hurl."
He left quite vacancy behind him.
There was dead level of equality about
the five of us which deprived life of all
its piquancy. Even Welstead, who
had disliked him from the first, was
fain to confess that he was good fun,
and that he wished. him back. After
all, if his laugh. was obtrusive, it was
hearty, and his quaint, vulgar face had
sincerity and good-nature stamped upon
every line of it. 1t was with unaffected
pleasure that we heard loud view
halloa in the street one morning just af-
ter the opening OF the. doors, and saw
our friend staggering in, more ugly,
more dressy. and, if possible, more vul-
gar than before.
Newsome, our bank manager, was an
excellent fellow, and on the best terms
with all of us. As we were all single
men, with a very limited circle of
friends in Birchespool, he kindly gave
us the run of his house, and it was sell
dom that a week passed without our en-
joying musical evening there, wind
ing up with one of the choice little sup
pers for which Mrs. Newsome was cele-
brated. On these occasions, since dis
tinctions would be invidious, Gentle
manly Joe used to be present in all his
glory, with very large white frilled
shirt-front. and another vitreous frag-
ment sparkling gloomily in the middle
of it. This, with a watch-chain which
reminded one of the chain cable of a
schooner, was his sole attempt at orna-
mentation, for, as he used to say, lit