davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30
About Titles.

Rev. Penstock, who insists upon be-
ing addressed by his title, and who
never accords the same honor to any of
the Judges, Colonies or Professors in
the Lime Kiln Club, suddenly bobbed
up and offered the following resolution:
"ReS0lred-Dat judging dog-fight or a jump
ing-match does not license Guild man to as
sumo de title of Judge wild big j ; and
ReSOlped-Dat while white-washin' an stove
backin am purfeshuns to be looked up to an
respected, de pussins follerin' sick purfeshuns
am not necessarily Professors wild big P; and
Lar or an 6 SS Of digg he ser
to call hisself Colonel"
Penstock was hardly down before the
thirteen Professors, seventeen Judges
and twenty-eight Colonies in the club
were on their feet and demanding to be
heard. They felt the insult and were
prepared to resent it and Penstock was
seen to grow pale at the rate of mile
minute. Brother Gardner finally Sc
cured silence after continuous rapping,
and then said:
viii Rev. Penstock please explain
how he cum by his title?'
Yes, sab. lie preacher, sah."
Was you regularly ordained?"
Eyes sab.
Who ordained you?n
1.-TWO of de deacons of de Fust Baptist
Church of Richmond"
There was a general yell over his re-
ply, and the worthy member lost his
temper and rushed from the room,
My friends, kindly observed the
President, ENVY allus overreaches her
self. If it seems to please fellow
mortal to call him Professor or Judge
or Major or Gineral, keep it up. 1t
costs muffin an keeps him good-natured.
1t sounds much better to read in de pa
pers dat Prof. Ginalong Jones am at
present engaged in cartin' out ashes
fur Col. Dayball Smith dan to menshun
dat ole niger Jones has struck job of
de ginger beer peddler Let dignity
90 wild your titles howeber. Professors
am outer place in white mans chicken
coop, an de Judge who lets his wife 90
b'arfutw will appear powerful small in de
eyes of his nayburs. We will now strike
a closin' attitood an disjourn de meet
in. h-DetrOH Free Press.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30
Light Weight Coins.

1t is well known that coins lose wear
by year certain part of their intrinsic
value by abrasion in the ordinary and
legitimate wear and tear of trade. The
process is more rapid when the coins
are new, because then the edges are
sharp, but it is steady and continuous
if the coins remain in circulation. Care
full estimates indicate, for example, that
an English sovereign loses, on the aver
age, one grain in twenty years. Just
at present the English bankers are a
GOOD deal disturbed over this matter
because more than half of the gold coin
in circulation in Great Britain is under
full weight In their transactions with
the Bank of England the latter receives
only by weight what other banks and
bankers receive by tale, the conse-
quence being that most of the loss rep
resented by the margin between the
two values falls upon the banks. Sew
eral plans have been suggested for
remedying the difficulty and substitu-
ting full weight for lightweight coins.
In 1912 and 1870, when the same trouble
was experienced-though on neither
occasion was it so serious as now-the
Bank of England was empowered by a
royal proclamation to take all the light
gold brought to it, the price in 1912 be-
eng f3 lis 10ld per ounce, which is
I'D per ounce more than the usual
price for bar gold, and I'D more than is
generally given for light gold coin But
the loss on the light gold sent in was
good deal more than four pence, and
was probably nearer eight pence per
ounce. In 1870 the price allowed WIS
u pence less, and the amount sentin
was triding. The problem is a pry
difficult one. The loss must fall ether
upon the community, the banks, o the
unlucky and innocent last holdcs of
lightweight pieces. 1t has beer sug-
gested that the Government jhould
make an allowance of one gain in
every sovereign of twenty years5ld and
of half a grain in half-sovereiq of ten
years old and so on in proportion to
age-this being the known rate at
which the two coins become rduced in
weight. Another proposition is that
the Government, through tn, Bank of
England, should privately nifty every
bank of its readiness before certain
date and within certain limitations of
exchange full-weight for lightweight
coins. But it is doubtful whether such
degree of secrecy could he preserved
as would prevent considerable dis
turbance of the currency by the flooding
of the banks with light coins, to say
nothing of the danger of extending the
practice of sweating" coins by the use
of acids or the battery. There are, in
deed, serious difficulties in the way of
any remedy that can be suggested
London Times.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30
Dramatic, but Doubtful.

A story which, if true, would be
startling, and which is interesting
whether true or false, comes from the
Town OF Lake View. 1t runs as fol-
lows; A few days ago a gentleman re-
siding in that town drew three hundred
dollars from a bank in the city with
which to meet an obligation, and
took it home with him. Before
he had an opportunity to dis
burse it he was called from home
to remain over night. His wife was
rendered quite nervous by the lInowl-
edge that such sum of money was in
the house, and objected to being left
alone. 1t was suggested that male
relative should be asked to act as guard
for the night, but at length it was de-
cided that if the services of a huge
Newfoundland dog, the property of the
landlord, who lived on the upper floor
OF the same house, could be secured the
wife would consent to her hus band S
absence. The landlord consented to
loan the dog after being informed of
the situation, but was particular to eau
ton the lady that, in the event of any
burglar entering the house during the
night, she must remain perfectly quiet
and let the dog attend to the business
in hand. The husband went away.
Sure enough, during the night the wife
was awakened by the presence of a
masked burglar in her room. Remem-
bering the landlords injunction, she
remained quiet, and was rewarded by
seeing the faithful dog spring upon and
throttle the intruder. After terrible
struggle the dog was victorious, and the
man lay unconscious on the floor.
Satisfying herself that he was helpless
the lady arose and struck light and
was Mortified to discover that he was
the landlord and the owner of the dog
that had protected her. In the dark
ness and under the mask the animal
had not recognized his master. The
landlord died Monday night, as the
story goes Chicago 1ft5unc,
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30
Uncertainties Of Oil Speculation.

General attention has recently been
drawn to buying and selling petroleum
as medium for indulging in the pas
sion of gambling. There is little ex--
element in stocks or grain, and in this
city and in New York the ''bucket
shops" have taken up oil certificates the
better to cater to the inclinations of
their customers. If there is to be a
craze for oil speculation there is, at
least, the consoling reflection that, with
few exceptions, none will lose but foolish
men who would in any case be victim
lied. The conditions of oil produc-
ton, transportation and traffic are such
as to prevent the commodity from be-
ing subjected to the ordinary rules of
commerce. The man who speculates
in oil is a prey to'adverse forces which
he can neither discern nor estimate.
The listed securities of the stock ex-
changes are issued by corporations
whose every act is open to public
scrutiny, but the certificates which de-
note ownership of oil are issued by a
great combination of which nothing is
or can be known by the people. 1t is
always dangerous to deal with un-
known quantities. Philadelphia invest
ors were taught severe lesson with
regard to oil speculation fifteen or six
teen years ago, and it is probably not
yet forgotten. The man does not live
who has made fortune by independent
speculation in petroleum and kept it,
FAttddelphid Record.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30
Little Spinners and Viewers.

Did you know that all the silk in the
world is made by very little worms?
These creatures have q machine for
spinning it, They wind the silk, too,
as well as spin it. The curious cocoons
the worms make are wound with the
silk. Men take them to factories,
where they are unwound and made into
the beautiful silks you and your mother
wear.
The. spider is also a spinner. His
thread is much finer than the silk
worms. 1t is made up of a great many
threads, just like rope of many
strands. This is the spiders rope, that
he walks on. He often swings on it,
too, to see how strong it is. Did you
ever see a spider drop from some high
placer How his spinning-machine must
work.
The wasp makes his paper nest out of
fibers of wood. He picks them off with
his strange little teeth, given him for
the purpose, and gathers them into a
neat bundle.
When he has enough, he makes them
into soft pulp in some strange way.
This pulp is very much like that used
by men in making our paper. Very
likely the wasps taught them how, be-
cause they are the Oldest paper-makers
in the world.
This pulp he weaves into the paper
that forms his nest. You must look for
one, and see how much it is like the
common brown paper we use to wrap
bundles in. The wasps work together,
so that it takes but very little time to
build nest.-Our Little Ones.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30
For Young Readers.
WRINKLES.

"Where do the wrinkles come from?
And the joyous little Grace
Looked gravely in the mirror
At her rose-tinted face.
"Where do the wrinkles come from9
Why first, dear, [ suppose,
The heart lets in a sorrow,
And then the wrinkle grows.
" Then anger comes tapping.
And the hearts door opens wide;
Then hasten naughty envy
And discomfort and pride.
" And the wrinkles follow slowly;
For the face has for its part
To tell just what is doing
Down in the secret heart.
And the red lips lose their sweetness,
= And draw down So" said Grace;
And the lovely, youthful angel
Goes slowly from the face"
"Watch the gate of the heart, my darling,
For the heart is the dwelling place
of the magical angel of beauty
Whose smile is seen in thy face"
-IndidndDOIis Sentinel
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30
How to Make Fashions.

Fashions are very decided and very
striking this season. They astonish
unsophisticated eyes and show that
women are less timid than formerly:
possessed of more nerve, and ''dare'
to do what they would not have dreamed
of few years ago. 81 have the cour-
age to wear what suits me-" said q
very beautiful woman the other day.
THAT is all the difference. | do not
copy other women. | 90 to pictures
and art sources for what are called my
inspirations, and whenever | see any
thing that suits me make note of it,
and sooner or laterput it into my dress.
In that way | make fashion instead of
following it. All women have not this
courage nor this opportunity; but GER
tainly the standard of individuality is
much higher and the diversity much
greater of late years than formerly
This diversity is also happily tending
toward the establishment of more fixed
laws, toward an understanding of what
is best suited for different ages, and it
may in time-will, even-suggest with
out offense what is best adapted to diff
ferent conditions. ''One has to die to
do much before one dies" remarked a
middle-aged lady of position and
-fertune, in dry-goods store recently,
when she was buying prints and ging-
hams. II have no use for these my
SELF" she continued, ''for have to en-
terrain so much in summer that / must
be dressed always for company, but |
really enjoy buying them for my daugh-
ters, and remember 'hair-striped' blue
cotton and corded pink bingham
that l wore when | was girl with more
pleasure than silks or satins. ~. Y.
Cor. Chicago Journal.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30

In using sulphur for animals. in
ternally or externally, be careful that
the animals are kept warm, for it
wonderfully opens the pores.-N Y.
Herald.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30

Owing to drought in the tropical
countries the supply of cocoanuts this
season will probably be short. But if
the corn and wheat crops of the United
States do not fail, we ought to try and
worry along. - Chicago Journal.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30

"A Cleveland newspaper suggests
"Bridgeit'' as an appropriate name for
the united cities of New York and
Brooklyn. ..
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30

tour Is New York, Chicago, st. Louis
and other cities. philadelphia Cor. N.
Y World.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30

He Monkeyed With Buzz-Saw.
and Look at Him Now" is the title of
the latest pathetic ballad.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30

The Philadelphia Press solemnly
announces that Captain Eli Wanga-
mon, of Blairsville, has almost dis
covered perpetual motion. That is
about as near as most inventors have
got to it, but it is very wide word
CHICAGO Inter- ocean.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30

"A mosquito was found and reported
by young man out in the country
near here last week. The huge insect
measured two inches from tip to tip of
its wings, and six inches from point to
point of its legs. This is certainly the
bill presenter of our land, the largest
ever heard of, and Georgia is still
ahead. - Crawford Monitor.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30

The British Government has caused
to be distributed $4,000 medals to the
participants in the Egyptian campaign.
A ton and a half of silver was required
to make them
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-06-30

"A Russian traveller in the Malay
Peninsula claims to have found in use
there the smallest coin ~ in the
world. 1t is minute wafer, made
from the juice of tree. Its value is
about the millionth part of a dollar.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-12-11

Mail train South bound, connects at Charlottes-
vile. with Chesapeake and Ohio K. W. East ana
West and at Gord0nsvllle with chesapeake ana
Ohio Railway for Richmond; az Lynchburg, with
Norfolk ( Western 4. r., through Southwest
virginia 10 Nashville New Orleans, Memphis,
Little Rock and Texas, and with Richmond and
Alicahauy Railway for Lexington and Natural
Bridge. aud at Danviile with Richmond ana
Dar.;ttp Railroad to South and Southwest!
Mail train North bound, connects at Lynchburg
with The K. & A. r. Il. for Lexington and Natural
Bridge, and at Charlottesville with c. g. y. Il. W.
for Staunton. Clifton Forge and intermediate
points.
lottesvilie with C. & o. Il. W. for the West and
1T Dauvillc with K. & d. i. W., for all points IN
South Southeast, Southwest, and East.
Express trains north bound connect at Char
lottesrilic with c. & o. r. W. for Richmond
Staunton White Sulphur, Charleston and Hunt
ington.
For Fairfax c. IT, daily connection at Fairfax
station.
Trains 80, 81 and 81 conacct to and from
WATERMELON daily, and trains 53 and % daily,
except Sunday, TO and from Warrenton.
MIXED TRAINS. leave Alexandria daily, OK
cent Sunday. 400 and 1000 IA. III. and 11:3O p
M. returning arrive at Alexandra o:oo d. H.
and 2:45 and 1000 p. IN.
FRANKLIN DIVISION, daily, except Sunday,
leave Rocky Mount 1870 a. m. arriving ut
Franklin Junction Ills 4. III. Leave Frank
lin Junction 6:1O p. m, arrive at ROCKY MOUNT
1000 D. H.. making close connection at FRANKLIN
Junction with mail trains so and 81 also with
local freight trains to Lynchburg and nanville.
MANASSAS DIVISION, daily, except Sunday |:
Leave Washington $50 a. III. Alexandra 9:lo
a. H.. arrive at Strasburg 1:1O p. m, connecting
with the Valley Road East and West, and at
River with Shen. Val. R. Il. for Luray and
Wayuesboro Returning, leave Strassurs 2Ou p.
m, arriving at Alexandria 6:2O p. M. ana wash
iugton 40 p IN.
MIXED TRAINS leave Alexandria daily, cX-
| cent Sunday, .i:45 a. NJ arriving at Strasburg
| $50 n. m. Returning leave Strasburg lao am,
| arriving at Alexandria 315 p IN. Leave MaHas-
| sas 1855 a. H. daily except Sunday, arriving at
Strasburg $50 p. m; returning, leave Strasburg
| 600 y. m daily, except Saturday, arriving at
Manassas 11:55 a. III.
| Fer Middlcburg connection at Plains station.
| Fer Uppcrvillc, connection at Delaplane.
| Pullman Sleeping Cars between New York and
| Atlanta on Mail trains north and south bound.
| without change; only one change of cars between
| New York and New Orleans.
New Orleans Sleeping Cars leave Washington
! $50 A. H., running through without change.
| Pullman Sleeping Cars between Washington
| and Augusta, Ga, without change, on 1O:4O p.
| III. train, via Greensboro, Charlotte and Columbia.
| Solid trains with Pullman Palace ca, attached
run through between Washington and Louisville,
| via Staunton and White Sulphur, daily.
All trains make good connections, at Washing
| tom to and from North and West
Through tickets at lowest rates to eli important
| points in tho United States
| J. S. 3. THOMPSON,
| Assistant General Passenger Agent.
| W. VI. 5. DUNN, Eng aud Supt.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-12-11
VIZ ,sHINGTnN OpIO AID WESTERN z. r
SUMMER ARRANGEMENT.

"
TWO TRAINS DAILY tEACEPT SUNDAY BE
TWEEN ALEXANDRIA AND ROUND HILL.
Leave Washington at 20 a. III. and 20 p. m.
and Alexandria at 8 % n. IN. and 25 p. m. Pass
Leesburg, going westward, at II 80 a. m. and
6 43 p. m, and arrive at Round Hill at 12 ID P.
N. and so p M. Leave Round Hill at 3 20 a.
NJ. and u p IN. Pass Leesburg, going cast
ward at 6 OS a. m. and ) OPP. M, and arrive at
Alexandria at Is and 5 % p H., and at
Washington at s % a. IN. and 35 p. nj.
SUNDAY TRAIN leaves Round Hill $40 q. m,
arrive at Alexandria SIS and Washington S:35.
Leave Washington 8 p. m, Alexandria S:O7 p. ~,
pass Lecsburg, going eastward, Cos a. M; west
ward 1908 p. IN.
no" Passengers from Washington will take the
Wash, Ohio and Wcst'n. cars at the Baltimore and
Potomac Railroad station at 9:20 III. and APO p.
M. and go through to Round Hill without change
of cars.
The 9:25 a. NJ train from Alexandria and 2:13
m. train from Round Hill connect at Round Hill
with Daily Line of Coaches for Snickersvillc, Bcr'
ryvilc and Winchester also with Line of Coaches
which leave Lccsburg daily for Aldie and Middle
burg.
Both trains, Westward, mako close connections
at Vienna, with Sisons Lin: of Stages for Fairfax
Court House.
One thousand mile Communication tickets, bear
ing two names 500; one thousand mile tickets,
bearing all tho names Of family or members of a
firm, $25.
Alexandria June Is, 1888.
sep19 S. N. BROPHY Supt.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-12-11
! G12HlntIrla Up=FIie.
TUESDAY EVENING. DECEMBER II.


TIE END OF \ PRACTICAL JOKE.
Henry +. MilIward: 4 noted mechanical
engineer and expert, committed suicide III
springfield, O., last week. Some weeks ago
2ii.iward who was Of Z jolly nature and
hai great relish for practical jokes, as
sisted by number of friends, constructed q
dummy corpse out of bundle of towels ali :
,nilows, and laid it on bed in the Arcade
Ho,el in Springfield. The room was care
fully darkened, and the dummy covered
with a sheet. A pasteboard head with gro
;esuuely painted features was attached /"
the podyso as to be in plain sight when the
sheet should be removed. When all Was
ready the report was circulated through the
city by the jokers that q drummer had COM
United suicide at the hotel after q protract.
ed spree. and that his body was deposited in
room Ct of the Arcade Hotel. The report
attracted hundreds of citizens, including the
coroner. who were piloted up to the room ore
ny one and the grotesque corpse exhibited o
them. The sell lasteda whole day, and pro-
,lucel no end of merriment, generally end
Ing in the person fooled treating the crowd.
4 few weeks later Millward shot himself
through the brain, after week sabsence on
q drinking spell, in the Arcade building, the
mock tragedy and real tragedy correspond
ine in every particular. The night before
the deed 1Iilward came home very late,
and. after few words with his roommate,
went to sleep The latter heard him sob.
bing during the night, but thought nothing
oft, and never saw him again until he en-
tered the room the next day and found him
raspiag his last with bullet hole in his
head The surroundings showed that the
man had gotten up, dressed himself, and,
after lying down on the lounge. bad de-
,ihcratcIy sho, himself in the head.
The remarkable part of the case was that
,hr real suicide tailed with tha, OF the pre-
ended suicide il: every particular The
time uf day was the same. 'he weapon the
,aiuc, the place tine same, aud the wound
,he same. The coroner'sjury decided that
mrAt"! depression was the cause OF the SUI
eide. but there can hc no doubt that brood,
M. over the MOCK; tragedy suggested and
was the cause Of the real enc
Henry +. MilIward came OF Il family o.
Worldwide rcu0Wn in engineering pursuits
lie was formerly employed on engineering
works for the English government in Eng
aud %rl Jamaica. and also held important
positions; ia this country, beinga man of the
highest intelligence and Professional skill.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-12-11
AiIERCtDS.
1000 GREAT 1000
1000 PENNSYLVANIA ROUTE 1000
TO THE NORTH. WEST & AND SOUTHWEST.
DOTRIE TRACK STEEL RAILS.

1883 prsssG 6 kA1 ROUTE 1882
TO THE NORTH. WEST & AND SOUTHWEST.
DOUBLE TRACK, STEEL RAILS
MAGNIFICENT EQUIPMENT.
In effect November IS, 1885.
Trains leave Washington, from station, corner OK
Sixth and B streets, as follows:
For Pittsburg and the West, Chicago Limited
Express Of Palace Sleeping Cars at $40 a. M,
daily: Fast Line, $40 a. N. daily, with Sleeping
Cars from Harrisburg to Cincinnati Western
Express TAO p. H., daily, with Palace Cars to
Pittsburg. Also connects. daily, for Chicago,
via Columbus and c. st. J.. < +. L. r., with
Sleeping Car Pittsburs to Chicago Mail Ex-
press 1000 p. IN. daily. for rittsburg and
the West, with Palace Sleeping Car Washington
to Chicago.
BALTIMORE AND POTOMAC RAILROAD.
For Erie, Canandaigua, Rochester Buffalo, Niagara
1O:OOp NJ daily except Saturday, with Palace
Cars Washington TO Rochester and Washington
to Buffalo. Trains leaving Washington Satur-
day night will not run beyond Remove
For Willamsport, Lock Haven and ElmirE, at
$40 u. H.. daily, except Sunday.
For New York and the East, SIS and 1850 4. m,
lao, 400. 1000 and 1f:15 p. m. On Sunday
400, 1000 and f1:15 pm. Limited Express CT
Puman parlor Cars. $40 n. n. daily, c1cci t
Sunday.
For Boston without change. Lao II. III. every
week day. On Sunday, loo r. m.
For Brooklyn, n. Y. All through trains connect at
Jersey City with boats of Brooklyn Annex,
aTording direct transfer to Fulton street, avoid
ing double fcrrage across New York City.
For Philadelphia S:15 and 1850 a. m, lao,
400. 1000 and 1115 p. m. On Sunday, 400,
1000 and 11:15 p. m. Limited Express, $40
a. m. daily, except Sunday.
For Baltimore $50, SID, $40, 1000 and 1850
a. ~, and 1:4O, 400, 4:25, 4:40; 6:30, TAO,
1000, and Ills p. NJ. On Sunday, $40 and
1850 a. m, and 400, G:3O, TAO, 1000 and
Ills p. III.
For Pope's Creek Line, $50 a. M, and 4:4O p. M,
daily. except Sunday.
For Annapolis $50 a. ~, and 4:4O p. H., daily,
except Sunday.
ALEXANDRIA AND FREDERICKSBURG RAILWAY
AND ALEXANDRIA AND WASHINGTON RAILROAD.
For Alexandria, 6:35, 7:20, 9:25, 11:O5 and 1885
a. H., 2.O5, 4:25 500. 6:25, 9:05 and 1875
nj. On Sunday at 6:35, 9:o5, and 11o5 a. NJ,
and 800 pm
For Richmond and the South, 6:35 and Hos a.
H., daily, and 500 y. H., daily, except Sunday,
Trains leave Alexandria for Washington. Cos,
| S05 1910 and 1920 a. m; LOO, 3:O5, 1922,
| $40, 7:O5 and 1910 p. M, and 1910 mid
| night. On Sunday at 500 and 1910 q. IL.
7:05 and 1910 p IN.
Tickets and information at the Office, Northeast
corner of 18th street and Penna. Avenue and at
the station, where orders BIO left for the check
ing of baggage to destination from hotels and
| residences. J. R. WOOD, Ct. P.
CHAS. L. PUGH, e. II.
l