The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-08-15
WIT AND HUM0R.

The dalrymon IN the NclhltN Oh Ne"
York have started paper and It's re-
porters are already pumping everybody
they meet. Phda. News,
A woman's face is her fortune. If a
mans face was his fortune we know OF
several who would be richer than Van
derbnt. 49, Waterloo Observer
"Kiaerlighodans" is Norwegian for
"oyc." Its said the journalists of Gin
cinnati kjaerighodans beer with an I'M
dying kjaerlighodans.
An amorous swain who is counting a
girl and trying to please the old man at
the same time is said to be very par
ticker in his attentions.
"Whosoever shall smite thee on thy
right check turn to him tire other also. "
When young lady follows this advice
it shows that she is smtten.
We are asked the question if water
does not sometimes intoNicate. 1t fire.
quently does. We have seen barrelsthat
were water-tight.
A boy says in his composition that
Onions are the vegetables that make
you sick when you don eat them your
self
man breathes eighteen times
minute on the average, but the rapidity
with which he breathes after running
to catch train has not yet been esti-
mated.
A man writes that Dr. Soandso, who
was convicted of attempting to poison
his wife, will be allowed another trial
If he doesn' fetch hcrneXttime he must
be a poor doctor.
1t mads Kansas jury that has been
locked mp ten days. fighting over a muir
der case, to learn that the prisoner was
hanged by the mob the day they were
locked in.
Count: Don't YOU dance at all this
evening. madame?' "Not till mid
night" "Why SOP Because to-day
is the anniversary Of my husbands
death"
The unfortunate women who toll at
the sewing machine are confronted with
additional danger: When they get mad
al the machine it is certain to bring ona
hemmeragc
An Indiana woman applied for a d.
vorce on the ground Of extreme cruelty,
| because her husband was continually
stealing her face powder to shine uphis
big brass watch chain.
A prominent physician SAYS a person
should never be walked up except when
there isurgent necessity for it. We will
pay some one well 10 translate this into
baby language, -B@rlington Free Press,
An exchange SAYS that Earl Duil'er-
in has been presented with the insignia
of the Order Of Bath, - which is very
neat way Of stating that his lordShip
has been presented with n bar of fine
soap.
A commercial traveller Just in from
Wisconsin says eight out Of ten of the
young men there are so bow legged that
they have toput the ironing board across
their knees in order to make it possible
for their girls to sit on their laps.
An editor intimates that the ladies Of
to-day are much stouter than they used
TO be about twenty years ago, Well,
the ladies of to-day are twenty years
4,
U oi,I P'' "'i'' ''''' '''' '''''> ''''' ''''
"'', :" 49,, ~,
Lght Nas are iaSn'ohao''' Nhen
t''ls Is more Senrr"lll hllo" II !, newspaper
reporters IA announcing 'l' p'''h OF
PAonoih'na'Iy ET-t oaoIe', may come
ancc with ,eraciDy.
"Ol course. ' said Mrs, Rubric, "our
rector conduct, the service in English,
but then it is just rs grand and inspiring
rs Latin YOU can't understand aword
he says you know We boston lJaJI-
Scripk
There /. 3, rrocor on, Wosi,yhoi. ,,fd
to br. 80 moan that No wa, sorn 10 catch
, Nv off M. comtor. hold him unby p.n
Linl Jogs and look in ,ho rracl.. of his
,c", ,n 500 Il ma h,dn', nrrn .,o,linn
son,r .ouror S,,,ay,j,Ic ,j,,,',o,
,,... Ill, .rr.,. ....,l 49,, g.,
"'.- ,'m".' ' y, wy ~ ",'I I,, 20, ,.,..,
y. ,,. ti, ,,,r.''J I' ,nnng 49,. I hors ,yh,
, ,,'1 ''oI,'', r,', ,,,,,,, ni,l
'''''' N''''-l' 80. .'''~'. 70,