Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-12-07
THE SPOOPENDYKES.


VI. uear, salu MTS. Spoopenuyke,
looking up from her plate, and regard
p ing her husband earnestly. "My dear,
d. it is getting late in the season, and I'm
afraid my plants will be spoiled by the
L frost. Don't you think it is time they
= were taken in?'
'Praps So" smiled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke 'If you think SO why don't you
take 'em up?"
"Won't you do it, dear?" smiled
Mrs. Spoopendyke, sweetly.
, "Come on" replied Mr.. Spoopen-
! dyke, dropping everything and prepar-
ing for the fray.
Mrs. Spooendyke put on her bonnet
and followed her husband into the gar
den.
"You want to be little careful with
some of them," she suggested. ga
good many of them are tender plants
and want to be handled gingerly."
"Iou trust me-" retorted Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, grabbing rose bush with both
hands and giving prodigious jerk.
''Dot CAST the bush!" he roared, as his
hands slipped off, leaving two-thirds of
the skin behind.
81 didn't mean that one," squealed
Mrs. Spoopendyke. "That one is to be
covered up with straw. Try some of the
others.
"This one of 'em?" asked Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, and he caught hold of tough
old geranium. "Come into the house
out OF the coldn' he cried, apostrophi,-
ing the plant. "Come forth from the
teeming earth and be blessed with light
and warmth in the garrett and he
took Il death grip on .he plant half way
between the root and the top. "The
question before the house is, dirt or
Spoopendyke, shall the ground absorb !.
him, or shall the dod gasted fruit of
much cultivation let go its hold and
come out of the garden, Maud" and
with this exordium, delivered with
yell, Mr.. Spoopendyke broke the gera-
mum off short and sent it over the
fence to join the rose.
"IOu are loosing them ALL" cried
Mrs. Spoopendyke, her face flushed and
her soul vexed by the fate of her plants,
81 wanted to save that one."
"Next year we'll plant 'em. the other
end up, and then they will grow out of
the ground of their own accord."
snorted Mr.. Spoopendyke, making for a
tuberose. "Now let's see what this
thing is tied to. If it isn't made fast to
Il Chinese laundry on the other side of
the globe, we'll see what the bottom
looks like before the intense cold sets
Einn'
"Don't pull that up" protested Mrs.
Spookendyke, in despair. "I only
want to save the bulb of thatr'
"IIear what the lady says" de-
manded Mr.. Spoopendyke, grasping
the stalk, and spreading his legs for an
unparalleled exertion. "We are indif-
ferent to the upper works, but the bulb
has become matter of necessity! Put |
aside vain pride and show" but here
he put in all his strength, and rolled |
half way across the garden, crushing
vines and shrubs and winding up
against fence with crash that shook |
every board in it.
"Did any of the bulb get away?" in
quired Mr.. Spoopeudyke, dazed by his
fall. cam l to understand that the ex-
cavation was not success?' he bawled |
recovering himself with mighty effort. |
"Lead me TO where the balance of this
measly matinee is located! Does this
thing belong to the show?" and he
| caught hold OF tomato vine. "Is
there bulb annex to this thing of
beauty and joy until get hold of it (!
| Be still, sad heart, until get startedv
and he wrenched the vine from the
socket and whirled it around his head.
zone more bulb to hear FROM" and he
paved into the earth in vain search for
the root, shOwering the dirt in all d.
rections. "There!' he puffed, when he
had built sort of cave in the place ont
of which the vine had come. "I'm
most through!" and he went at it again.
'Dust thou art, to dust returnest, ne'er
was spoken of this hole!" and with this
peroration Mr.. Spoopendyke gathered
himself up into a lump and came down
hard on both feet in the excavation he
had made.
al might have known that you didn't
know anything about it," moaned Mrs.
Spoopendyke, who was anxious to dis.
tract his attention from the fact that
there were several beds of flowers he
had not marauded.
"Might, might YEP" roared Mr..
Spoopendyke, rising in his wrath as he
found it impossible to convince his wife
that he had done it all for the best
"Think We might have known that l
didn't know anything about it! With
what We might have known in this
world and what We don't know, ye only
want name carved in your back, and
the paint scratched off, to be the front
seat in the first class in a public school!
Some day when it rains, and can't get
out on account Of the toothache, I'm
going to fit you up with eight languages
and Il reputation, and start an intelli
gence office with you!" and with this
tribute to his wife $ capacity, Mr,,Spoop-
endyke plunged into the house, put on
his hat hind side before, and darted out
to tell his friend Specklewottle that he
thought something of buying the lot
next door, and raising fruit next season
as he was sure his experience in farm
ing would stand him in good stead and
see him through to complete success.
= 81 don't care" murmured Mrs.
: Spoopendyke, as the door banged after
him, and she set to work to take up the
remainder of the plants. 81 have
found out how much he knows about
shrubs. Next spring, when get ready
to plant, I'll ask him to take up some
moresbulbs'
: "What would you do if you were and
| were you?" tenderly inquired n
young swell of his lady friend as he es-
corted her home from church. "Well, )"