Milford chronicle., 1883-04-13
WIT AND WISDOM.

1T IS spring time with The frog wheE
the small boy is around with a stone.
TENNESSEE wheat is safe, says a
dispatch. This leads the Peoria Tran.
script to suppose that Treasurer Polk
could not get away with it.
AN OLD judge told young lawyer he
would do well to pick some Of tha
feathers from the wings of his imagina-
ton, and stick them into the tail Of bis
judgment.
''WEIb, said an artist, "there's ono
thing can say-my painting is original.
Nobody can accuse me Of copying. "
Not even nature, remarked one of his
hearers.
THE story of mankind in all ages is
told in this little aphorism, attributed to
a Georgia darkey: "a man dat kin make
libin' playin' de fiddle amt ap' to pes
ter de hoe handle.
IT doesn't take Northern invalid long
to get well in Florida. When the first
weeks hotel bill is presented he gener-
ally says: "I guess I am well enough
to start for home this afternoon. -.
Jtdge.
MAMMA: "Charlie, what in the world
are you doing-sitting on Wille's head p
Charlie: "We're playing horse, mamma,
and he's got tumbled down, and I've got
to sit on his head until he's quiet. But
he won't keep quiet"
THE editor wrote that che was a mem-
Der of an old family Of musicians. and
when it appeared in the paper it read,
ga memberof an old family of nuisances.
One assertion was just as true rs the
other, but the editor nearly swOre.
THE wife of brand new member Of
told her neighbors that the
family would remove to Washington,
but she was undecided as to how they
would live in the capital; she favored
aking one of the Potomac flats.
LAST Christmas-eve Mrs. j. went
Upstairs to see if the children had hung
Up their stockings for Santa Claus, and
ound that little Fred had pinned his up
n prominent place, with little slip Of
,aper attached, containing this suggest
We sentence: "The Lord loveth cheer
III giver.
"No p exclaimed Mr.. Penhecker; ''no,
madam. I object most decidedly. Once
nd for all I say 1.-THE girls shall not
e taughtforeign language. :" ''And why
OF. pray ?" said Mrs. p, with whitening
lrcasm. Because, said Mr.. p, with
Iore whitening sarcasm, f'because one
,ngue is enough for any woman"
"PA. - said the inquisitive small boy,
what do they mean by unanimous p
my son, unanimous-eh-
hy. when all the men want the same
ing. that's unanimous. politicians
ali unanimous, amt they, pa?" 'fNo,
y son, not by a iugful. ''Well,
mt see why, cause they all wants an
lice anyhow"
AN exchange asks whether anybody
n tell any characteristic fact about the
yhood of the political "Boss" Yes;
was the big boy who when he saw q
tie fellow fishing took the pole away
I'm him and said: Johnny, let me
tch fish for you while you put on the
it," And Johnny stood by and won
red where the fun came IN.
APRoPos Of the death of Leopold Mey-
the London World tells this story Of
, late Emperor Ferdinand, whose bril-
Mt intelligence was not exactly an or
ment to the line of Hapsburgs. After
,yer-who was rather a stoutish man
played the Emperor spoke to him
said: "My dear Mr.. Meyer, have
lrd Liszt Meyer bows lowl; have
lrd Thalberg Meyer bows lower still
! not one of them-perspired like
l." Tableau.
Two Commercial tourists" met in the
,ot the other day. "Hello, Charley"
s No. /, "haven't seen you in an age.
lat are you doing now?" "Oh, I'm in
same old line, responds No. 2.
18th the same house ?" eyes, same
concern, but situated a little differ
w." "How is that ?" swell, I've
an interest. F." "Is that SO? How
Q since?' "Since the first Of the
nth. 'Let me congratulate you. "
es, the old man told me I'd got to
e an interest in the business this year
luit. So I took the interest"
sheridan once succeeded admirably
sntrapping a noisy member who was
the habit Of interrupting every
aker with cries Of "Hear hear
hard Brinsley took an opportunity ti
lde to a well-known political character
the time, whom he represented IS 4
son who wished to play the rogue,
had only sense enough to play th
!. where" exclaimed Sheridan, in
tinuation, and with great emphasis
here shall we find more foolisl
I'VE or a more knavish fool than this
ear hear !" wins instantly beloved
n the accustomed bench. The
ked wit bowed, thanked the gentls-
n for his ready reply to the question,
sat down, amid commissions Of
Qhter from all but their unfortunate
,iect