Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1883-06-08
NEWS COMMENTS.


NEWS COMMENTS.
TIE governor of Georgia stammars.
LAST Saturdays cyclone done over 81 ,o00, 600
damage in Texas.
NEW YORK pawnbrokers have $20,e00,0cO
werth Of pledges on hand.
An Oregon paper says the star route lawyers
are getting big pay for "chewing wind"
Miss HELEN BARRY stands high as an Ameri.
can aetrcss. She is six feet one in her (ahemD
hose feet.
Z FARGO girl wears her corsets so tight that
she has corns on her ribs and buaions on her
shoulder blades.
NORTH Pacific stock 5l5S Ipreferred 88s4. st.
Paul, Minneapolis & Manitoba, $l.l91a. West
ern Union 86I.
A MONTANA nnan has his boots made three
sizes too large to accommodate the snakes with
ont crowding them in an uncomfortable mai
ner.
WESTERN editor calls the New York Herald
'the Balaam Of the American press" What
has the Herald been shifting you for this time,
neighbor?
Tu:: gamblers of Dodge City, Kansas, have
generously consented to allow the mayor to
remain in town if he will behave himself and
keep real still.
TIE assertion that Indian women possess far
,,rester cruelty than the men has received an
other indisputable proof A Shoshone squaw
ia going to lecture.
A FASHION price list says that ''party dresses
come much lower this season than last. 1t
must be novel to see woman wearing her lace
collar around her waist!
WHILE Crook is holding the bag to catch the
Apaches they are eating government rations at
San Carlos 1t looks very much like national
snipe game at this distance.
AN English paper is to be suppressed Tor
printing Objectionable matter" 1t has prona-
biv fallen into the strange habit or telling tue
truth about some of the officials.
MAJOR WAssoN pleads guilty to stealing bur
not guilty to conduct unbecoming an officer ana
q ecI tleman. His ideas Of gentlemanly con-
duct are eccentric, to say the least.
ANEW HAVEN clergyman has married forty
COuOleS eA6-e s'-~osS
with the work with a fendish spirit that would
awaken the envy of Sioux Indian
A SIX foot snake was seen in garden at
Eden. Dakota, the other day. (Wil the mail
ing clerk please send marked copy OF this Is
sue to Colonel Robert lngersoll!)
EDITOR John Hay has had $60oOoO be.
oueathed to him by his father-in-law: Editors
Mo are ont of father-in-law should lcs' no
time in securing weak, failing specimen
The time has almost arrived for George
Francis Train and Vicky Woodruff to make
their usual campaign announcements that tney
are independent candidates for the presidency
A TEXAS prisoner sentenced to ten days con-
finement on bread and water attemptfd d to hang
himself in his cell. He aaid be could stand the
bread all right but tile water broke hun al up
DOM PEDRO is coming sto America again this
summer. He will bo taken aEo1nd to gee tne
Brooklyn bridge, Barnums circus, sammy
Tilden, the star route trial and other natural
curiosities
An elderly man in Boston ia so polite and
loving that when he is dining with the young
LADY of his heart he puts syrup on his bald head
to attract flies and prevent them from annoy
ing her.
A SOUTHERN paper says that northern tourists
snffer greatly from snakes in Florida inls
.hor,d NOT he. The northern tourists ehoulo
axveer off until they get back home. oucn "oiA
Gives the north bad reputation down there'
OoA1A, Florida has but one young lady that
is not engaged, but she is we'll enough acaualn.eu
with the Young minister to call him Charne
and pick stray hairs of his coliar' al1 EHssAp'
nredict ten strike on the matrim onlai aliey'
c,a.RrrrE smoking dudes now have piece
oe panded cloth set in the bay windows OF tnelr
.,ts rron which to strike matches. The clotn
= 60 arranged that it will tighten up Wnen tne
attennated leg ia oesthct;cslly cooked for
strike.
n,pa DAVID DAVIS to the Mormon women at
Salt lake: "You poor women worry along "1tn
.;xth. an eighth or a tenth interest IN one poor
man. Look at Davy there. Welghs over !1re1
hnn3ned in his stocking Feet and he's all-l-1-i-l
mine"
FoorpAns attempted to rob the editor or the
Brainerd Dispatch the other night. Inc reeule
of the combat is not given but from tne iac.
that the editor bought new hat next oay unu
cot on a wild soda pop debauch the chances are
A. eaotnada were made to fork over their loose
charge. 6
sr. PAUL now proposes to set up in opposl-
+;on to the promised land in angelic morality.
The gamblers and prostitutes have been mott,
fed by the new mayor that they must 60, ana
the city council is under police survelllancel
An official order making three players day
comnnlsory with all citizens is being prepared.
A AwoNDEnFUL affair is reported from Moscow
The crown placed upon the head Of the car
fitted him nicely on the day Of the coronation,
Init the next morning when he tried to put it
ON to slip around the corner and get Q cocktail
before breakfast, it was discovered that it had {.
slrunk until it was about three sizes too small
far him. The cold may have contracted It, OF
ths banquet of the previous night may nave
81 had something to do with the matter: cable
disnetcha are very vague and devoid OF I'M
# & port int dstails Of latA