davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1883-04-20
TOO MUCH DREAMING.

A New Yorker who spent several
days in the Black hills country last
fall met with some rare chances ~
soon as he left Denver. The first
party took him aside and began:
"Say, stranger, are you looking
after mine?"
swell, perhaps"
"Do you want the biggest spaes
in the West?"
81 might take it,.
''Then yon lay down. A sick man
over here has dreamed three times
running of finding the richest silver
mine 4n the world, and TIL get all ths
directions as to bow to find it fof
$500 cash down"
The offer was not accepted, and
within few hours second party
had "fin1" on hand that his BROTH
had dreamed out. The third man
wanted to sell his fathers dream for
5000, and the fourth had dream or
his own to sell for spot cash. When
the fifth one began negotiations the
New Yorker cut him short with:
"Say, don't do it; you are the fifth
man who has tried the dream buss-
ness on me this week. Don't You
do anything but dream out heref"
"WelI, there's a good deal OF
dreaming around this locality,
placidly answered The man-"in fact
too much of it. If some of the boys
don't quit the business 1 reckon Ill
have to 60 back to sailing up mines
and selling out to Cinnamon"
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1883-04-20
SILK zANpKzacnrEFs AND SORE THRoA.

SILK EANDKERcEIEFs And SORE THRcAT5
Sore throats vanish when cncir-
cled in a silken kerchief. This is es-
,ablished beyond peradventure
The grandmothers knew all about
this hundred years ago. >They
believed. TOO that silk would cure all
other diseases, and some of them
thought it would heal broken leg
if only taken in time. We do not
90 30 far, as that. bat we know that
silk will absorb and store electricity Y
as Leyden jar. ltSforms an essen
tial curtain for the electricity cylin-
der and, rubbed with quicksilver has
mysterious power that imparts
force to its retention. The curative
force of silk is due to its electricity,
and the medical faculty recommend
d silken hose and shirts for a thou
and diseases. As we are rot pro-
tessional we only take silk by the
throat, and we know its wonderful
power. We will give sure receipt
When you have the throat trouble,
give nice clean silk handkerchief
to your sweetheart, with a request to
tie it around your neck. If you are
not choked by tender hands, we have
made mistake. The more expen-
sive the kerchief the surer the cure,
because your pet takes SO long to
examine the quality and get it just
right SO it won't hurt. Try it and
go home cured. We expect the silk
handkerchiefs will advance in price
when this matter is understood.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1883-04-20
TWO WAYS OF LOOKING.

Two boys went to hunt grapes.
One was happy because they found
grapes. The other was unhappy
because the grapes had seeds in
them.
Two men being convalescent
were asked how they were. One
said, 81 ain better to-day" The 9th
er said, II was worse yesterday"
When it rains one man says, "This
will make mud" Aucther, "This
will lay the dust"
Two children looking through
colored glasses; one said, ''The world
is blne." and the other said, at is
bright"
Two boys eating their dinner.
One said, 81 would rather have
something other than this" The
other said, "This is better than moth.
ing"
a servant thinks mans house is
principally kitchen; a guest, that it is
principally parlor.
81 am sorry that live" Gays one
man, .'I am sorry that must die
says another.
II am glad" says one, "that it is
no worse" 81 am sorry" says an
other, "tbat it Is no better"
One man spoils good repast by
thinking of a better repast OF anoth-
er. Another one enjoys a poor re-
past by contrasting it with none at
all.
One man is thankful for his bless
ines. Another is morose for his
raisfortunes.
One man thinks he is entitled to a
better world and is dissatisfied be-
cause he hasn't got it. Another
thinks he is not justly entitled TO any
and is satisfied with this.
One man makes up his accounts
for his wants. Another from his
assets.-N Neu Haven Register.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1883-04-20
MEN AED woaais AT EoNE.

The husband goes away from home
in the morning, not returning until
evening, says an exchange. I take
an average case. All day long he is.
more or lesa worried by business.
1t is he who is 20 supply the wood
that the pot may boil. When he
reaches home toward nightfall, it is a
haven of rest he seaks. Ii he is met
by confusion, delay at dinner, and
at last sits down to dinner hastily,
carelessly, and badly prepared, the
table slovenly arranged, half the
things wanted not there, necessita-
ting the sounding of the servant
from the other room for this. that
and the other. he wonld need the
temper OF an angel to bear it all pa
tiently. The wife left at home, has
annoying demands made upon her.
Servants stupid, disobedient and
impertinent, and what she orders
done is as often neglected as attend
ed to. She has her own affairs, that
NAV not aud should not be set aside.
But with all this, [ insist that the
most important dniy-far more i'm
portant than that the dressmaker
hired by the day, does not lag over
her work. that the girls set through
with the washing, or that 'that 9th
er room is shouse-cleaned' lis that
the dinner bell rings at the stroke
of the o'clock. The husband shonld
be no more annoyed. with the little
worries of the household than he
should fill up the evenings in the fam
lily circle by retailing in detail all the
pests of his business that, all COM
bined, have cent him home with his
head in n whirl. Around the table
the family thould gather in their
very best spirits. A dinner behind
time plays the old boy with good
nature, and the man of the house is
not the only one that is "mad."
The wife is in i'll humor, for she
knows in her heart that she is to
blame. Over every one is petulent
gloom. There are disagreeahle
things that must be said, but the
dinner table is not the place to say
them. I tell you, friends, the behind
time dinner has much to answer for.
and view with real alrm these ex-
cuses of women for women who throw
their husbands dinner on the table
any how and at any times. 1t is all
very well to be satirical and to say
that woman has higher ambition
than to boil potatoes aud peel onions,
but You are sapping the foundation
of home just the same. The accom-
plished woman who sees to her hus-
bands dinner loses not jot of grace
or intelligence.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1883-04-20
TIE GAD BOZ AGAIN.
Feck's Sun

Well, you are the meanest boy I
ever heard of, said the greceryman.
But what about your pas dancing -
clog dance in church Sunday !? The
minister's hired girl was in here
after some cod fish yesterday morn
ing, and SAID the minister said your
pa had scandalized the church the
worst way. Oh, he didn't dance in
churc. He was little excited;
that's all. You see, pa chews tobac-
CO, and it's pretty hard on him to
sit all through the sermon without
taking chew and he gets nervous.
He always reaches around in his pis-
tol pocket when they stand up to-
sing the last time, and feels in his
tobacco box and gets out chew,
and puts it in his mouth when ths
minister pronounces the benediction.
He always does that. Well, my
chum had present OIL Christmas Of
a music box; just about as big as pas
tobacco box, and all you have to do
is 30 touch spring and 1t playa.
"She's a Daisy, She's a Dumping"
/ borrowed it and put it in pas pis-
tol pocket where he keeps his tobacco
box, and when the choir got most
through singing pa reached his hand
in his pocket and began to tumble
around for chew. He touched the
sprirg, and just as body bowed
ther heads to receive the benedictiop,
and it was so still you could hear .
gum drop; the music box began to-
play, and in the stiffness it sounded
as loud as a church organ. Well !
thought ma would sink. The min
ister heard 1t and he looked toward
pa, and everybody looked at pa, too,
and pa turned red, and the music
box kept up "She's daisy and the
minister looked mad and said sAmeR;'
and people began to put on their
coats, and the minister told the desc
con to hunt up the source OF that
worldly music, and they took pa in-
to the room back of the pulpit and
searched him; and ma says pa will
have to be churched. They kept
the music box, and I have got to
carry In coal to get money enough to
buy my cbum new music-box.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1883-04-20

"I have made one human being
happy to-day" said Fred Flanks
to Bob Belt, an Austin lawyer.
"Did you send barrel of -four to
a moor widow?" acked Bob.
"No; my means do not allow me
to be SO extravagant, but | told an
applicant of position in the legisla'-
ture, that knew he was going to geo
.it.'
swell, that was one of those little
courtesies that casts a ray OF sunshine
into the troubled life of q fellow-travs
eler in this vale of tears, and which
does not cost anything"
ssThe mischief it didn't cost any
thine!.I borrowed two dollars from
him on the strength of it.-1ssse
Si;ftings.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1883-04-20
THE CoRNETIST.


A man of iron power is he,
Although a man OF brass.
The best and brightest orator
He can in strength surpass
He is not ever doubled faced,
Though he can doublc-tongue.
Although he plays not with the strings,
Strong nerves he has unstrung.
For such a quiet. peaceful man,
To elbows" ne oft doth come,
Though often found among the horns,
lie takes no horns of rum.
Though not an educated man,
A tooter he remains,
And earns q plea SAINT livelihood
By blowing out his brains.
No levy-ty in him you'll find,
Though blowing he may Go.
He has a true aesthetic mind,-
Decidedly too too.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1883-04-20

Long Tom; at Monroe road branches
off crosses Long Tom and leads TO
Eugene City, also at the north bound
/ ary Of the precinct another branch
takes of and is known as the river
road to Eugene. There is also q foot
hill road north and south, and q road
from Monroe to Alsea valley and sew
eral cross roads.
In the year 1851 Silas Belknap had
very small stock of goods which he
was selling at his old donation home
near where now stands Simpson
Chapel, in the spring of 1854 he re
moved this stock of goods to what is
now Monroe but the town plot was
not laid out until 1854. Monroe is On
the mail route ga tri-weskly one" from
Corvallis to Junction. The popula-
ton is about $50. The precinct is
nearly all taken but there is still an
opportunity to locate few claims
along the coast range of hills on the
west.
The town of Monroe is situated on
Long Tom river 2 miles from the south
boundary of the precinct. There is
the only post office supplied 8 times a
week each way by the route from Cor
wallis to Junction. The Reader mills
where is turned out a good brand of
flour as is found any where. There
are two general stores owned by G. W.
Houck & Co., Starr, Hinton Il Will
helm, one saloon owned by Adar
Wilhelm and another saloon owned
by Glib Powers; Gilbert Willsher &
Ingraham own a wagon and black
smith shop, Harrison Bowen has
blacksmith shop, Samuel Loony keeps
a feed and livery stable, John Webber
shoe maker, Hotel by Mrs. Howard.
The Methodists and Catholics have
very neat church buildings. E. j
Taylor is the regular practicing ply
sician and L. G.. Thompson keeps the
drug store.
Among the first settlers of the pre-
cinct were John Lloyd, T. D. Reeves,
and A. Humphrey who came to Ore
gon in 1916 and settled the following
year, Grin and Ransom Belknap, L.
d. Gilbert and S. f. Starr who came
to Oregon in 1874 and the following
spring settled west of where Monroe is
now, forming the noted Belknsp set
tlement.
The following contains list of the
names of persons paying tax upon pro-
pretty in Monroe precinct No. 4 and
the amount of tax paid by each as
shown by the last assessment roll of
Benton County.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-03
q Cure Warranted

Persons ruined 10 health h. uniesrned preteDdsri
poisonous and injurious compounds should apply mmt
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-03
Same as Busted.

Some months ago a Boston clothier
started his son for Nashville with stock
to open retail store, and the other day
friend who knew of the Circumstance,
met the father and inquired:
well, how does Jake get along?"
"Shake is home again, was the re-
ply.
why, | thought he was in Nash
ville?"
$50 he vhas.
"And / heard that he was doing a
rushing business"
"Vhell, peesness rushed leedle on
der start, but finally il dropped off until
it doan' pay expenses
"And so Jake bustedp'
"Vhell, it amounts to der same thing
/ suppose. Der fire didn't get half a
start before der engines vhas on hand!
Poor Shake 1t vhas a crushing blow
when dey found candle in box Of
shavines! He vhas so young, you seeW
- Val Street Daily NecS.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-03

The capstone has been set on the Sar-
atoga monument, and preparations have
already begun for an imposing dedica.
ton of the monument in August next
Some decorative work still remains tc
be done inside the shaft, and the oak
staircase which leads to the top is sooi
TO be replaced by permanent one q
bronze.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-03

Some people find it easy to excuse
themselves for being rude by saying,
''Oh, that's my way, that's all. " One
of this ilk used the words we have quot
ed to Sir Richard Jebb, who pointed t.
the door and replied, Then, sir, beg
you to make that your way" There is
no greater iiend than he who sits down
by your side and tells you all the faults
you have, ''just for your own good, you
know -
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-03
PASTURE,

Having leased Mr. Joseph Gun
dry's well-known pasture of about
200 acres and containing two living
springs, | am now ready to pasture
stock of all kinds. For information
inquire of ROBERT JULIAN.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-03
seed CORN
FARMERS,

Look to your Seed Corn
this year, as it is estimated
that fully three quarters of
the seed corn saved last fall
will not grow. We have care
fully examined the corn from
different sections in Kansas
and Nebraska, and have sec
ured a quantity from near
Lincoln, Neb.
This corn has been carefully
selected for seed, and we can
recommend it as the best and
safest seed corn to be obtai-
ned in Northern Illinois.
We have tested one hun
dred grains taken from one
hundred ears and every grain
grew. We can safely say that
ninety-five per cent. will grow.
We would advise all farm
ers in want of seed corn to
send their orders in at once,
as our supply is limited, and
we may not be able to get any
more as good.
We are selling It at
$500 Per Bushel,
Sacks extra; can ship either in
ear or shelled. Send money by Pc.
draft or express.
F. MEALIFF & CO.,
1Su6 Lena, Stephenson Co., III.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-03
DIR. FISHBLATT
MARRIAGE


peucy nsrvs 4ai hes
Ell
q
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-07-01
PERSONAL.
Mayor Seth Low. of Brooklyn, left the city yes
ter,ay for a vacation at Lake Mohauk.

Mayor Seth Low. of Brooklyn, left the city yes
terday for a vacation at Lake Mohauk.
Mr. Sims Reeves gravely announces that he in
tends to retire from public life soon as he has
gwen farewell concerts all towns not yet visited
by hun for that purpose
In order TO obtain divorce from his second wife
that he might marry the third Johann Strauss had
TO change both his nationality and his religion so
that be Is now Hungarian and Lutheran. HIS
third wife. being Jewish widow, had to change
her re ipion but she will bring up the son OF her
first husband in his fathers faith.
The cruel insinuation is made by The London
WorId that this LabOuchere- Bishop Thought-Read-
ipg-Wager business was all carefully cut and dried
beforehand. For, it says,
"Iabby aud Bis shop are two clever men.
Each knows how many beans make ten:
Let us quarrel in print say they, FOR, Won know.
1t will advertise Truth it will puff my showH"
General John A. Halderman, the United States
Minister to SIAM recently had the pleasure OF pre-
senting to the Rajah of Tuluban a handsome gold
medal and gold inlad Winchester rife-tokens
from the United States Government In appreciation
of the Raah's kind services to the officers and crew
OF the American bark Coringa. which was wrecked
on the coast of Siam in November. 1880. General
Haldrrman visited the Rajah at Tuluban, going
thither III the King Of Slams steam yacht Voant,
which was placed at his service by His Majesty,
and was companied on the voyage by Kun Bin,
son OF the Prime Minister. aud Mr.. A. BalfouT super
intending engineer of the Sianese Navy. He was
entertained by the Rajah at a grand banquet. and
at a bu-fght held on the esplanade in his honor.
The late Major-Gener Burnaby, NJ. p, of Eng
land. was friend of the goat. and an enthusiastic
supporter of the British Goat Society. This most
surprising vent of affection due 10 the fact that
when an infant he stolen by gypsies and lived
with them for some time. drawing his sole nourish-
ment from the days of a friendly nanny that
formed member of the wandering caravan. Gem
eral Burnaby was n remarkable practical linguist
and 10 that circumstan owed on one occasion the
preservation of his life 1t was at lnkermann,
and as he lay wounded upon the field Cossack rode
up and was about to give HIM the death stroke
when the General gasped out, IN Russian. plea for
mercy The fact of being addressed in his native
tongue by foreigner so impressed the Cossack that
he sheathed his sabre and rode away, leaving Cen
era Burnaby to he cared for by the English soldiers
who soon after came no
WASHINGTON. June 30.-The President will
leave Washington for New-York on Monday, where
he will remain for seveyal days HIS plans for the
summer will not be arranged until after he returns
To Washington.
PROVIDENCE, r. l., June 30.-Senator Anthony
has so far recovered as TO be able to start this
afternoon for Oakland Beach Hotel. Warwick.
ALBUQUERQUE. n VI. June 30.-General Crook
arrived here last evening his way to WASH
ington.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-07-01
GENERAL NOTES.

A yerdaut foreigner who had presumably
never before American railroad directed
nj the Troy depot Wednesday last at train TO take
for INTERCHANGEABLE. and IN response to question
told that he might get In anywhere He gazed ut
OF the cars for moment and them handing his vaise to
a bystander sprang up and caught window SILL and
was making desperate Efforts to hoist himself aboard
when passenger advised him TO go 10 end OF the
ana how much moro easily lie could elect an en-
trance.
Even bad eggs have their use-outside the
thrilling turbulence Of political campaign There are
four firms I'm Philadelphia. It is said, that make bust
of collecting from grocers and market-men the
eggs upon whose flavor and fragrance too tropical
weather has wrought sad ravages These opened
and graded ThDse hcpeessy corrupt are sent 10 tan
neries for polishing purposes Those that merely
the whites from the yoks the latter being used by mo-
rocco manufacturers and the lormersO says unscru-
puous repOrt-by confecuoners.
The Paris newspapers recently announced
with songs OF praise that NJ. Jean had given 5000 900
francs guardians of the poor for the establishment
Of hospital at Vanguard. Biographies Of the phllan-
throps telling how he had come TO Paris without
struggled up auence prepared by enterrris
ing Journalists and the army Of beggars made eager
qlires his address Finally the officers the Assist
Pubique hearing that the plans for the hospital
being drawn at the School of Architecture applied
to NJ Freat the director for further information, when
1t appeared that IL was all huge Joke. of which tbs
origin was problem In architecture submitted TO tho
pupils by the director the Imaginary conditions having
been given TO the press facts by ingenious wag
A farmer named James Moore died in Cald-
well Ohio June a. leaving eleven children and tract
of land valued at $4,000. To his Robert he had
decided forty and given lease FOR thr-two years
of all the rest that the other children had hopeless
time wait any in the property To his credit
Private Daze their lawyer advised them not to enter
upon such an expensive diversion legal contest and
suggested conference with the lucky brother To the
establishment Of lawyer and clients the said Robert
after little conversation tore up the lease and said that
himself taking the forty acres decided to him years ago
He explained this unexpected action by saying that he
was Christian and could conscientiousy leave his
brothers and sisters out ia the cold
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-07-01

on the rates at home may prove equally ex-
pensiye abroad. The children, forming AS per
cent of the whole number, will have to be ed
ueated in free schools; the aged and infirm
will have to be cared for in public institutions,
and the resources Of the able-bodied Will be
overtaxed in the strain of providing support
for large families in new country. Ihis
scheme of emigration, even when 1t is super
yised by intelligent agents like Mr.. Buxton
cannot be regarded as advantageous to Amer
lean interests. Mr.. Tuke's representatives,
moreover are few in number. and are employed
only in districts that are too poor to supple
ment the Government grants. Elsewhere the
work receives less careful oversight, and appar-
emily the Poor Guardians are left at liberty
not only to relieve the strain upon the rates,
but also to dispose of candidates for and grad
yates from the warehouses and similar lnstitu-
tions
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-07-01

1t is already evident that the mon and women
who have been interested in the past in efforts to
save poor children in the city from the worst effects
of impure air in the hot summer have not slack
ened in their zeal The contributions to HE IRIB-
UNE Fresh Air Fund run over $4,000. and
clergymen and leading citizens of many towns are
making ready for the reception of their little
guests Early in July about $50 children from
twenty missions will go to eight towns IN clinton
County. Nearly at the same time more
than seventy will go to Waverly in I1oga
Comfy. little later, parties are expected
to be entertained in Madison, Chenango
Broome and Oneida counties; and preparations
are in progress in many other places IN this State
Massachusetts, Connecticut and Vermont. Though
much preliminary work of great value was omitted
this wear through the sickness of Mr.. Parsons, the
many friends be has made seem determined that the
beautiful work he has built up shall not fail on that
account, Children are sent, under careful attend
ance. to any town where homes are offered gratul-
tously to twenty or more and at the end of two
weeks are brought safely back to the city.