Kimball enterprise. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1883, 1883-08-03
Mr.. and Mrs. Spoopendyke.
The Happy Family Recreate in a
Sail-BOAt

My dear" exclaimed Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, bouncing into his wife's room and
interrupting that lady in the purely fem.
inine enjoyment of unpacking for the
summer. "My dear, there's no use try
ing to get along in the country without
sail-boat, and have bought nice one.
Come along, and I'll show you how it
works"
"Ain't that nice" gggled Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, who stood in mortal terror of
the water. and was afraid of anything
shaped like boat. care you going to
sail it on the pond?"
Gal first l thought I'd sail it down
cellar" growled Mr.. Spoopendyke, "but
the landlord was afraid it might pset
the milk: then thought I'D try the gar
ret but there's too much wind up there;
80 believe IN stick to the river. Hur-
ry up, now and I'll show you the biggest
boat in thirteen counties"
"If it is as big as that it must have cost
good deal, J" murmured Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, somewhat reassured by the size
of the boat. 81 am very glad you got a
large boat, though, Of course, the ex-
"What dye think I've been buying?"
demanded Mr. Spoopendyke, with
flushed face; "got some kind of a notion
that I've invested my wealth in salt
marsh, with telegraph posts for masts,
haven't ye? Think I've been laying
out money in town site. don't ye?''
Well, haven't, and I haven't been
buying rural district with arudder' 70
it. It's a boat, 1 tell yea sail boat
and it won't come up here to make
formal call; so if you are going to see it,
you want to 60 where it is. Coming?"
and Mr.. Spoopendyke pegged off with
his hat pulled down over his ears, and
the expression of veteran tar on his
visage.
eyes, dear" replied Mrs Spoopen-
dyke, huttering after him. "Say, dear,
I'll stand on the shore and watch you
sail the thing"
''You wont do anything of the kind"
retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke. "I bought
that boat for your pleasure as much as
mine and you're going to sail in it.
When l want you to stand on the shore
and watch anything, I'll hire man to
drown himself Now look at that boat.
Isn't she daisy? See how she sets on
the water"
"What are all these clothes lines hang
ing down from that stick for?" asked
Mrs. Spoopendyke, surveying the yacht
critically.
ITO play Copenhagen WITH" roared
Mr.. Spoopendyke, who was not at ali
anxious to be examined on the techni-
cal points of his new acquisition "You
take hold of these ropes, and say your
hands, and then we kiss. See into it
now? Does the art of navigation begin
to appeal to your understanding Now,
you get in and I'll make SAIL" and Mr..
Spoopendyke handed his wife into the
cock spit and began to tug away at his
halliards.
"Why didn't you have sail made
when the boat was built?" inquired Mrs.
Spoopendyke, by way of encouraging
her husbands labors with preasant con-
versation.
Because the man was SICK" snarled
Mr. Spoopendyke, glancing at the head
Of the mast to see hat was wrong.
Come up here, will YEP" he grunted, as
he grabbed the halliards again, "There,
dod CAST ye! knew I'd fetch yep and
he walked aft to examine the trim OF
his mainsail. ''How does that set?"
''It seems to be a little full in the back
BREADTH" commented Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, holding on to the coaming with
both hands. "If you cut gore near
tHae top stiCh ih "oulu NC SlIA!gnt-
er."
81 suppose so,' muttered Mr.. spoop-
endyke, giving another haul at his peak
haliards. "If l put hustle on it, l
imagine it would take the wrinkles out
Now, Pll get up that jib, and mind, don't
you touch anything"
Mr.. Spoopendyke set his jib and
pushed off. AS his sail filled the boat
hao1nA {p kbo ofor
nation of Mrs. Spoopendyke.,
"What makes the thing tip SOP" she
asked, scrambling up to windward, and
grasping Mr.. Spoopendyke by the COL
lar.
Let down the center-board!" yelled
Mr.. Spoopendyke, suddenly remember
ing the instructions he had received
when he bought the boat, "Let go that
center-board, quickv'
II haven't got It'll" squealed Mrs..spoo-
pendyke. II haven't seenitl We must
have left it ashore! Oh, my" the last
exclamation was addressed to half
weight of water stopping over
the lee coaming.
Haul away on that jib sheet" roared
Mr.. Spoopendyke, who found he was
going ashore on the other bank of the
river, "Pull her in as quick as ye can!
1ot ~ VI tIiat! uo COuLluuou, aS uo saw
his wife clutching convulsively at the
peak ballard c'eat. "Let go the measly
thing, will We, and haul the jib sheet!"
rs this it?" gasped Mrs. spoopendyke,
casting the throat halliard loose, "or
this?' and she let 20 the peak ballard
dropping the boom on Mr.. Spoopen-
dykes head anl burying him under the
mainsail. "Perhaps this is what he
means" she soliloquized, as she hit on
the jib halliard, and let it 60 by the run.
Now we are sailing better, dear. If it
hadn't been for me we would have
tipped overW
That's itW yelled Mr.. spoopendyke,
struggling out from under the canvas.
That's navigation! You struck It from
the shoulder first clip! All yoI want
now is quid Of tobacco and hitch. to
your breeches to be Cunard steamerl
Got through? ANYTHING else you want
to do to this measly boat II you had q
compass in your ear and deck load ol
idiots, you'd only need custom house
inspector and He'll Gate pilot to be q
floating lunatic asylum!" and Mr. Spoop.
endyke hailed passing row-boat and
was towed ashore ignominiously.
Il don't care, smuttered Mrs 'Spoopen.
dyke, as she scrambled up the dock and
followed her lord to the hotel. II don't
care. may not know as much about q