davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-01-13
THE NATURE OF CArARRm.

Among the list Of chronic diseases which affect
the human frame, Catarrh is the most prevalent,
most offensive, most productive Of discomfort and
most liable to variety Of dangerous and distress
ing complications. Countless numbers OF sufferers
are annually made outcasts from or nuisances to
society from its perncious effects while it wrecks
the hopes, if not the lives, OF many human being.
Though popularity supposed to be mere local COM
plant of the nostrls, it is in reality deepseatsd,
complex aud often malignant disease, which not only
affects the nasal eaviies but also nvades the ears,
the throat the bronchial tubes, the lungs the stom
ach the bowels and in fact every organ invested by
the mucous membrane. twas this important char.
acter of Cstarrh and its alarming prevalence that
first attracted my attention and induced me to give
the subject my special attention. In 1855 first
published the result Of my investigations, and
since then i. has been my special object to familiar
ize the public mind through lectures and the medi
um of the press, with the nature, tendency and dis
tructve consequences of Catarrhal disease, and to
awaken that interest in regard to its timely and
judicious treatment which its Importance demands
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-01-13

nENJIsT, NO. 3l7 STREET, Be
L tween Third Fourth-All OPERA - - -
tions according to the most modern and O1lI1D
approved methods. j13 tt
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-01-13
Eastern and Foreign Markets.

EBv YORK, January 18th.
BRsApsfUFFs - Flour is quiet and Wheat Ia
steady, latter at 81 05@1 IL o bushel.
WooI-Caforuia is steady at l2@14c for TALL
bury and 10000 for clean fall; spring bury 15@
zoe clean spring, 24a31c: pulled, 1sa4oc.
HIDRs-California ere dull at 23;.
LIVERPOOL, January 18th.
wHEAr-Calfornia spot lots are dull at 9s Id
TO IS i'd. Cargo lots 45s Cd for just shipped, 45s
Cd for nearly due and 46s for off coast.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-01-13
RosEDALE MARKET.
3. DENNERY.

H01 STREET, TAKES PLEAS q
GEE ure in informing his friends &xes
and customers that he has opened the N5t3ktA
above market, and it is now in full blast. LIZ
Chickens, Booths Eastern Oysters Fl h, American
and foreign Cheese Of all kinds, Eggs, Batter, and
all kinds Of Vegetables and Fruits. His goods are
first Glass; and will he sold at the very lowest bed
rock prices for cash. Please call and examine for
yourself and you will find it to your advantage to
deal at the Rosedale Market. n23-is3n
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-01-13
r. n. REID,

xg Office Hours from 10 A. N. to Il NJ, and tt
3 FN dl2.2plY
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-01-13

WTANTED-Goo1s SOLICITORS AND SALES
w men work permanent and profitable. Apply
l person or by letter to W. W. BoWSER, 527
st eet, Sacramento. jI3tf
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
MIS- mi .kSEots

HAVE for We ars d ''
rinIis TILES Of CaAsE f
they have been tillst f
We ~ IN 81 tistae6o +
us I have been Z N II Pes
exper7 elC . IN, lea a. Is
people !. and slig
wants 6ansliac
known q tlie
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
IllsllFlanE aotIee 60 RuIlders.

Nov. 10. 1s7S-y
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
CoNNFCTfoN,


At HAGERsTowa, Mp.. with Western
Maryland Railroad To Rnd fSnut Is ~ d "
erics, .Emmittsbufgs Gctt56hn Ftunnr
WnynesborO, Pa, and points pl t|le WcgcdI
Maryland Railrold aud bEahe
With tile Cumberland Nsilf hfilri1d I1anh
from Harrisburg, Carlisle uNul .tieie Nlnni x
bcrsburg. Mcrcersbufg, Martin h|tIasltld nlIutl|
on the Cumberland Yallgy R9lroad nnu
branches.
Also TO and from PittsbHtR aud lhd t.afNhN
Northwest, and Boston, New Yofh nfu-
delphia. and the North md Edst
At SHRNASDoAm JuEcffbN ". NAt dtl
Main Llue of Baltimored 4 0ltlo iailfnndtornd
from Washington.
At RIyERToN, VA, With Alltdat q brhu-Ir OIL
Virginia Midland Railway
AT RArNEsBpRo- JuNcfIoN y " with ch0a-
npcakc & Ohio Railway y aud rom Grrau
bricr White sulphur SFlg.le rld Richmond.
At L0cH EAIitpi Wtl *. iI rfnn- f|Innrh 81
Richmond q Atleslaiii lilfoad
AT NATUlkI BNfp0t fh Main limo ol
Richmond q tEeglsfilt finI I-
AZ RoANoEEt With f0ifi Wciefn Rail-.
road.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25

The c. V. r. II. issues excursion
tickets on the main line and branches
every day from December 22nd to
and including Jan. LIST, good until
Jan. I'd.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
Holiday Excursion tickets ho.,,o,

Holiday Excursion tickets between
all stations viii be issued by The
Western Maryland Rail Road at ,
cents per mile for the round trip.
They will be on sale at all ticket Of
ces from December pod, 1889, to
January LIST: 1881, and will be good
to-return until january 3, 1854.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25

DR.. b. NJ Francisco, of Louisa
county, the last survivor among tac
sons of the celebrated Peter Fran
cisco, of revolutionary fame, died re-
Gently at an advanced age.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25

o. Pullman Sleeper, dnfly, on 5syprrsa En
3, New York ~ Chattanooga, via Hntfi.burr.
connecting at Roanoke with Pullpian ccttc
New Orleans. via Knoxville and atifull dnN
at Dalton with Pullman SlCCPeHS III leriton-
vile. making virtually Fab,efdBFC ecN YUft H.
Florida, and New York 10 New ORIGIN
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25


e AITESTIoNs5 5ocToRs. EyeTyb body
knows that the life of the average
pliysiciansis a7hartt one. BE is often
compelled to ride great distances
through mud and rain fora merely
nominal fee. 1t is not fit;nor proper
for usto condemn any physician for
his work, but we do assert that his
practice can be made easier, and he
can effect more cures by the proper
and 1dicioust use of Perloeo. If he
will only add this great remedy to his
list of medicines, he will find that his
usefulness will be greatly increased.
Full directions for its use will be
found in the Ills of Life. and he
should at once procure this valuable
book. Read the following:
CniLL1corHB, o. DIR. HARTaIA>,-
Peruna sells very we'll here. l have
ordered several lots since you were
here. Tits fine remedy.
w. w. STEELE, Druggist.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25

Book or sheet music furnished at
the very lowest prices by Louie
Brown, lat the Confectionery of Gustav
Brown.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
When you visit Washington stop at the
American House,
Pcnn'o Aoenue, Cor. Seventh Street,
Washington, D. c.
TERMS, So PER DAY.

TFNHE proprietors of this House. the Oldest
Il established Hotel in Washington. desire to
call the attention of their patrons and the pub
lie to the fact that the Hotel is and has been
The headquarters for West Virginians for over
half a century. The ''Alncricnn" is centrally
located i'll the business portion of the city and
within n short distance of all Public Buildings,
Churches, and places of Amusement.
DUFFY 81 LEANNNRDA,
November 90 19S3-1y. ProDrictOrs
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
BERKELEY IrEMs.-The following

BEKKE1EY IrEMs.-The following
we copy from the Independent:
Buttresses are TO be built against
the side wall of the Episcopal church
both as an ornament and support.
Mr.. James Criswell, an old and
estimable citizen, residing near Her
lan's Spring and who has been i'll for
some weeks. died Thursday morning.
His losswill be greatlyafelt. in the
community lie was about IS years
of age.
Mr.. Charles Thumel comes forward
with the-weight of his four hogs, IF
teen months old. Charley always
has name for each of his, porkers.
and their respective weights this year
are as follows: Jack, 400; Bob, $50;
Bill, 1906. John, 410-aggregattng
1550Spounds, Pretty hard to beat!
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
HaFmess Shop Removed.

4 Making establishment to the East store
room of Mr.. JAS II. Rodrick. GIain St. Charles
town. where he viii continue the Manufacture
and Repair of everything in his line. st reason
able rates. The patronage of my Old CUSTOM
crs, and new ones also. is respectfully solicited
LAWRENCE \. OSBOURN.
Nov. 90. 1SSS-odNY,S1.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
"a GR1a RnhEic1.

HAvING relinquished engagements abroad
Il 4 which lave occupied my attention almost
exclusively for several years past, I will devote
my time i'll the future to work 1T home. and
offer my services to the public as Contractor
and Builder. There are many evidences of my
ability to design and construct houses in the
best styles and substantially and promptly here
and elsewhere. and the past few years have
given me experiences in llousc-bulding that are
valuable to myself and to persons who may cm-
ploy me. I will endeGvor, i'll all work entrust-
cd to me. to render entire satisfaction.
Jan. %, 1888. j. G. HOLMES, A. gent
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25

'Canvassed Hams, of superior quail
ity, for sale by S. S. Dalgarn.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25

Don't neglect your children, but
give them Boreman's Sweet Vermi-
fuge.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
9pIifss b ofEoIl1 lilai rs.
To 8eoek RaIs

TJIHE undersigned having considera b fstr
Il eiice in the gclding Of stock. offers 4 ~
fessiOnal seryiccs to the Stock Raiscrs ot silef
son and adjoining counties. proIntsiDg care IN
the execution of work entrusted to him. VIII
also give attention to diseases in horses. Also
has a patent Anti-RoOter, which he will apply
to Hogs. Letters addressed to me at Dnflield's
Depot or CharIestoHn viii receive prompt at
tcntiOn. Terms reasonable.
Feb. IS. 1877. JOHNW. SCHAEFFER.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
q 1C y
y - =
E2agpeY's Young Peopge.
AN ILLUSTRATED NEEKLY-1G PAGES.
Suited to Boys ard Girls CT from Six to Sixteen
Years OF age.
Vo3. Y. commences Noceaater 6, 1888.

EEARPER'S YOUNG PEOPLE IS the best
i 4 weekly for children III AmcriCa.-SoUal-
iceSes-E Christian -dGroco'e.
al that the artists skill can accomplish in
The way Gf illustration has been done, and the
best talent OF the country has contributed to
lis tcHt,-&e,c England Journal Of Education,
Boston.
In lis special ieId there is nothing that can
be computed with it.-HaIIjoJd Ere',ing Post.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25

e1assell llerstofl r. Tain
stssr ofthe S: r., has been
prom bted TO a similar office on the
Norfolk ansE Western, and his head
:duarters Wilt.be Removed, from EIilnes
I to EynchbtH.g The position of Train
Master of the Shenandoah Valley is
f4led by Mr.. j. W. Cook.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
Nus CELIA ANGUS
d. chas e Pratt.

Dr. O1aSs s. ffdtt,
Successor to n. r. Henderson & Co,
~ Ell a E4, NJ a G. - II.
tEF.AVING fitted up the New Store Room of
III Mr.. Gustav Brown, on Mai street; II am
prepared to furnish the citizens of Cherlestown
and vicinity everything in my line, OF the Best
Quality and at as Low Prices as they can be
bought anywhere. keep ON hand. and am
constantly receiving, large stock OF
PURE DRUGS, CHEMICALS,
Patent Medicines, Fancy and Toilet Articles,
Pcrfumery, Dye Stuffs, Books, Stationary
and School Supplies,
Picture Frames, &C.; Paints, Oils, &c. Also,
J. w. lIasnry 81 Sons Liquid Paints, which are
the most reliable Mixed Paints in the market
Lewis Lead, &c.
: Ny stock of Ladies' Toilet Articles is. largo
and of the latest out, among which may be
found Lubin's Extracts, Lundborg's Extracts,
Browns Extracts, fellows Latest Triple Ex-g
tracts, Ocean Spray and Stephanotis; Lund-
borg's small at IS cts; Long and Hexagonal
Fareinn German Cologne and Ideal Buquet.
Toilet Sets, Vases, Lilly White, Saunders Face
Powder, Hunter 81 Palmer's Invisible, Hunter
d Palmer's Snow White, Tale of Venice, &c.
Cashmere Boquet Powder. Infant Powder,
Sachet Powder, Hcliotrope, Jockey Club, &c.
A large and full line of Soaps Colgates. Luz
bins, Jesse Cakes 5Opcr ct. Pure GIycerine, Ye
Olden Time bar Glycerine; White, Blue, Not
Shaving Soap, Colgate's "Rosodora," Dat
Meal, Glycerine, Pure Brown Windsor, Car
bolic and Sulphur Soap. Also, full line of
cheaper soaps. Large assortment of
Cigars and Tobacco..
and smokers articles. Harpoou Cigar smok-
ers, Pipes, &c. Golden Isefbig's Extract Beef,
0swego Bitters, the BestButt6r Color always
on hand, in any quantity.
GiyeaIssa call and we. viii endeayor to.gfve
satisfaction to all lCHAS. b. PRATT.
February 90, 1883.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
champion Of the World
TIE CHAMPION GKAtR DRILL!

TSNHE undersigned having received the Agency
Il of this Celebrated Grain Drill for jefferson
County. and having ncTS oil hand Il supply of
these Drills and full line of Extras, in case Of
breakage. so no delay can possibly occur in
time of seeding; We offer this drill to the FARM
ers OF Jeffcrsou on favorable terms. and do not
fail to examine the Champion before purchasing
q Grain DTill, us it is beyond doubt the most
important one of all the farm implements,
GOOD Drill
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25

One voice a4 oyer the land goes
therk. that says, My
sghfe feeble and sad, with
no sigsi,g It Of breath and life
e l1n. What can We
re ta 4g he answer is sins
u ~ Bpe. One TO four
db Bitters will, make
n hes sprightls and
6dlers' are now
p md Offered, and
De at i0EA. NJ, Christmas
four diyisions-cavalry, in
y 1antry artillery and trades display
withsn full band of music, buglcrs,
banners, &c. Grand display of fire
worksat night. Don't fail TO sec it
ALI.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
faooE:f3G a3ci SoGIt;ng
4 SPECIALITY.

7E.gSEIE c-siaIcd has recently enlarged and
q very much improved his snles-ro0m, and
added largely to his stock, both in variety and
rrautity Of good; in lis liuc. His supply of
COOK STOTE.4 NJ Z NOES viii compete
With ANY, embraces t'g celebrated ''l;Cclsor''
ard ''FirEDar Civil which never fail to give
entire satisfaction. besides = large number OF
others Mith Gael. Stove there are @iHom Fifty
Pieces. exclusive Of plates. ull of them very
useful 10 l.aGs, keepers. Important additions
to many Of these Stoves. rs furnished by me,
gra SIDE, Aut2rgtia-Oyon aud Pipe Shelves.
Wat>r-Iacks and Warming Closets. Coal Oil
Stoves always in stock, and the best Wood and
Coal lIea!ery on hand il season. Evcrs Stove
guaranteed. Aiy supply OF Fine Goods in my
line is one Of the S2sc ever offered in Charles
town. ard isig.EGe; handsomely CrnamcHtcd
Water Coolers and Chamber Sets, Beautiful
Drip Cu!l1G-PoLs. soup. Ice and rcam Ladies',
SC, with al Tie usual variety of Tin and Sheet
Iron Wares Of ~ kinds. Prices always mod
crate. Price OF Stoves from: 80 up.
Roofing and sporting, &:.d other Tin Work,
promptly executed.
AprA II. 1888 jas. w. BUTT.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
Ditcning, Excayating, &c

EIlHE undersigned stin offers his services as
= competent workman in the above line
Ditching and Excavating of all Ilinds-Digging
ClsteTns. Ponds, Cellars. decentralization at
moderate rates. and faithfully executed Orders
Left at residence. near COlOred School-House
will receive prompt attention. Blasting also
done in satisfactory manner. and at lowest
rates. WESLEY LOWRY
March Q. 1880.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25

flfI
10tn 4'
Ltu' Ll-'
anddlcl-Vn
STEPHENS Dltf
t7iueassts1.
c..IIr rsuu
Summit INI1-
lIailtoNr
HgrreI e.. n
y1il5aelreie
Star n.ttrr.
cmsIrrmi.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25

Our work has been sold all through JsfFcrsom
and adjoining counties. and has always given
satisfaction in every particular
1t Is orr constant aim tn work the very bcst
material. and to do all work III Grst-zltss man
ncr, and as 10 our prices we pledge ourselves to
do work as low ur lower than hrst-class work
cam be done for elsewhere.
II parties wish TO consult 'Es In rcgRrd to work.
and do not tiad IL convenient tn visit orr fnc-
tory, W, viii, ii notified by postal card, send u
representative "t the firm to visit them at tcT
homes. and give nil nccessarr Information.
Secondhand vehicles and good Horses t9itcn
i'IcXchau.sc for work.
We keep constantly a largo variety of New
Vehicles III stock. und have also Secondhand
Carriages, BuggicS. Sc., which We sl,ll very low.
HIny 9. 1872.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25

4BREAKEAsT. epINNER. fsDPFk1ss
e3- Pullman Sleeper, daily, on Express No. q.
from Chattanooga to New York eSof1t0lt cfa15eS
connecting with Pullman Sleeper from New
Orleans to Washington, making virtually
THROUGH line Of SleepcTs Nov Orleans 70 New
York. via Roanoke ind Harrisburg.
$50 pounds Of baggage checked free to each
whole ticket. 1000 mile tickets S25.OO; 500
mile tickets 1890.
JOSEPH H. SANDS. A. POPE,
GenI Supt, Gen. Pass Agent.
Koanosc, Va. Roanoke Va
ALLEN HULL, H. 7. SMITH.
Pass. Agt., Pass Agt.
Novcrnber 81 1881
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
FR &c FC /!

GOLD fe forth fsr of pse3s class so Sc. IL
mail you free, royal. valuable box of sample.
goods that Will put you in the way OF making
more money in q few days than YOU ever
thought possible at any business Capital not
required. We viii start Won. You can work
all the time or in spare time only. The work
is universally adaTtcd to both sexes. young and
old. You can easily earn from 30 cents to 50
every evening. That all who want work may
test the business. we make this unparalleled
offer; to all WHO are not well satisfied We will
send 81 to pay for the trouble of writing US
Full particulars. directions. etc. sent free.
Fortunes will be made BIZ those who give their
whole time 20 the works. Great success abso-
lntely sure. Don't delay. Start now. Address
STINsoN e Co., Portland: Maine. DIZZY.
MOUSE Traps, two. three and four holes.
1f1 for saIeat
JOSEPH Il EASTERDAY's.
November q. 1883.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25

A special train of one coach, one
sleeper and baggage car containing
the members and their outfits OF the
John McCaull Opera Company over
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25

WOOD wanted At tie sggngE office.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
MaltoYI House,
Taylor Hotel
sINGHESTER,. VA. G. ! - = =

ETlHE sundersi med takes pleasure in announc-
elsewhere, TINT he has undertaken the manage
ment of this Famous Hotel for a term of VaaFs.
To those Nli5 know him It Is useless to say that
he wild spare no effort to render the TAYLOR
HOUSEWorthy of their patronage. Strangers
and the public at large are cordially invited to
give the Taylor House a trial. He has refitted
it from top to bottom, antwith No. cooks and
department. hopes to maintain the reputation
of the Taylor Hotel, famous among travellers
for the last fifty years. Every Department of
the House will be conducted with view to the
comfort and convenience of its guests.
Cd" Special Facilities for Commercial Tray
elcrs. Terms to transient visitors 50 90 per day,
and advantageous rate to weekly and monthly
Boarders. HENRY WULFERT
April 10, 1881.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
5 Wia K q AZ &.
ifynchburp 665;
lNin r n Al =.

No. 2l2 Daily. All other trains flali Sc6pt
Sunday. 4. q. PRINCE
Supervisor Of Trains, Wind ief, Va
w. NJ. CLEMENTS, III &
Master of Transportation, Camd h Station
December 4, 1883.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-12-25
4 FEW o. ms MERITS !:

Positive Forcc-Fecd Grain Distributor. and
Positive Force-Feed Grass Seedcr. which can
be used either in front or rear of the hose
The Fertilizer Attachment is lnequuled and
is Warranted to Sow Easily and Evenly any of
the various kinds of Phosphatcs in the market.
The Champion is the only Grain Drill in the
market that has a Special Attachment for
Planting Corn for the crop
The Champion is Simple in Construction and
Easily operated both for team and driver. The
material used and quality of Workmanship arc
the Very Best. Every Drill Warranted to give
Satisfaction or no sale.
Below we give you few of the Practical
farmers names who have purchased from us
and used last year Drills, to whom we refer:
John Burns, Charlestown; VIM. Rider Hall
town; Philip Powers. Ripon; Moses W. Triis-
sell, Lectown; Lewis II. Nichols, Halltown;
John w. Tavencr. Ch3rlestoySu.
We also have secured the Agency of the Gel
cbrated
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-09-07
MUSTARD FLAsTFR.

Did you ever wear a mustard
plaster next TO your very innarmost
soul! If You did not, you have never
experienced one OF tho pleasures of
life that is interesting in the OK
:reme. \ mustard plaster is one of
the henious inventions Of the middle
dark ages, when it was supposed that
when a person contracted q cold.
and it settled on the lungs, a four
horse power mustard plaster of about
seven hundred and nineteen degrees,
Fahrenheit, should he placed on the
chest, and the internal improvements
heated to white heat, and the cold
fried out. The mustard plaster has
been LANDED down through genera
tons, and Is used in all climates, III
ali seasons. and under all circum-
stances. 1t is usually prescribed
by the elderly lady of the family.
who proceeds to make plaster strong
enough to cook the flesh on the chest
to good brown, in five minutes. at
the least. In hot weather, especially
mustard plaster becomes to the
plastered sufferer companion that
sticks to him closer than brother.
and fires his breast with q scorching
heat that it seems to him, will take
ages to cool off. The porous plaster
has been spat upon and reviled for
ages, but it still holds n pretty fair
rank when compared to the red-hot
mustard plaster. The only thing
about the porous plaster that has
caused it to come into disrepute, is
the determination to stick to q person
long after it has ont lived its useful
ness. Even after it has spent its
force, and absorbed all the back ache
there is in n person, the porous
plaster will still adhere to the consti-
tuition aud bylaws, and with its flag
still i'll the air, it swears renewed al
legiance to the cause, and with a
fresh grip it hangs on like tie wood
tick on the neck of the festive pic
nicer. 1t is different with a mustard
plaster. This modest little base
burner affair bows itself humbly to
fate, and is ready to be removed as
soon as it has performed its duties
But while it is allowed full swing it
grasps the situation, and warns up
things worse than political cam
paiGn. The only thing that prevents
the mustard plaster being tabooed by
society, is the fact that it can be re-
moved when tho sufferer suddenly
discovers that his ribs and backbone
are being melted and run in with his
other vital organs. We're it not for
this one point IN its favor the must
ard plaster would he banished, and
the first person caught trying to
smuggle one on to the chest of poor,
weak man, would be Drained on the
spot.