Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1883-04-05
THE BAD BOY AND HIS PA.
Playing Burglar ora the Old GemtlemN"
and The way lt worked.

another bottle of liniment last night"
the bad boy remarked to the grocery
man. "When ma corks herself, or has
a pain anywhere, she just uses lini-
ment for all that is ont, and a pint
bottle don't last more than week.
Well, told my chum, and we laid for
pa. This liniment ma uses is offul hot,
and almost blisters. Pa went to the
Langtry show, and did not get home
| till eleven o'clock, and mo and my
chum decided to teach pa lesson. |
don't think it is right for man to go
to the theaters and not take his wife
or his little boy. SO we concluded to
burgle pa We agreed to lay on the
stairs, and when he came up my chum
was to hit him on the head with n
dried bladder, and | was to stab him
on the breast pocket with stick, and
break the liniment bottle, and make
him think he was killed. 1t couldn't
! have worked better if we had rehearsed
it. We had talked about burglars at
supper time and got pa nervous, so
when he came up stairs and was hit
on the head with the bladder, the first
! thing he said was burglars, by mighty,
and he started to go back. and then /
hit him on the breast pocket, where
( him, down stairs, and | said in stage
whisper, Il guess he's dead man. and
we went down cellar and up the back
stairs to my room and undressed. Pa
| hOllered to ma that he was murdered,
and ma called me, and came down in
my night-shirt, and the hired girl she
came down. and pa was on the lounge,
and he said his life-blood was fast
ebbing away. He held his hand on
the wound and said he could feel the
warm blood trickling down to his
boots. told pa to stuff some tar into
the wound, such as he told me to put
on my lip to make my mustache grow,
and pa said, My boy, this is no time
for trifling. Your pa is on his last
legs. When | come up stairs met
six burglars, and | attacked them and
forced four of them down, and was
going to hold them and send for the
police, when two more, that | did not
know about, jumped on me, and was
getting the best Of them, when one of
them struck me over the head with
crow-bar and the other stabbed me to
the heart with a butcher knife. l
have received my death wound, my
boy, and my hot blood, that | offered
up so freely for my country, in her
time of need, is passing from my body,
and soon your pa will be only a piece
of poor clay. Get some ice and put on
my stomach, and all the way down, for
| am burning up Invent to the water
pitcher and got a chunk of ice and put
inside pas shirt, and while ma was
tearing up an old skirt to stop the
flood of blood. | asked pa if he felt
better. and if he could describe the
villains who had murdered him. Pa
gasped and moved his legs to get
them cool from the clotted blood, he
said, and he went on: One of them
was about six foot high and had
sandy mustache. / got him down
and hit him in the nose, and if the
police find him his nose will be broke.
The second one was thick-sct, and
weighed about two hundred. / had
him down, and my boot was on his
neck, and l was knocking two more
down when l was hit. The thick
set one will have the mark Of boot
heels on his throat. Tell the police,
when l am gone, about the boot
heel marks BY this time ma had
got the skirt tore up, and she stuffed
it under pas shirt, right where he
said he was hit, and pa was telling
us what to do TO settle his estate,
when ma began to smell the lini-
ment, and she found the broken
bottle in his pocket, and searched pa
for the place where he was stabbed,
and then she began to laugh, and pa
said he didn't see rs death-bed
scene was such an almighty funny
affair, and then she told him he was
not hurt, but that he had fallen on
the stairs and broke his bottle, and
that there was no blood on him,
and he said, DO you mean to tell
me my body and legs are not bathed
in human gore? and then pa got up
and found it was only the liniment.
He got mad and asked ma why she
didn't fly around and get something to
take that liniment off his legs, as it
was eating them right through to
the bone, and then he saw my chum
put his head in the door, with one
gallus hanging down, and pa looked
at me and then said, 'Look-a-here, if
1 find out it was you boys that put