Smyrna times., 1883-06-27
Selfish Folks on the Steamboat.

For large liberty, expanded elbow
room, and plenty of pure air, the 8
steamboat excursion offers to the per-
spring and the weary wealth of re- {
rest not to be had on the ]
smoky train which rattles along a
dusty railway. A Summer afternoon
spent on a well-appOinted steamboat
gives most of the advantages of surf
bath without the annoyance of being
tossed about by the breakers and hav-
ing your mouth filled with salt water
and sand. In car we are generally
expected not to change our seats
throughout the journey, while on the
boat one of the chief delights is the
promenading from one end of the YES
sci to the other.
There are several drawbacks to per-
feet pleasure in steam-boating, chief |
among which are those which proceed |
from the selfshness of mankind.
There are two sets of selfish persons
from whose cupidity the passengers
have to suffer- One set, and the most !
persistently selfish, are the people who
run the boats. Their provision of seats
is generally far short of what the pub
lie expect. In their saloons they dis
play limited number of ornamental
seats, elegantly upholstered in plush.
The transition from these luxurious
things to the scanty little camp-stools
and the hard plank which is placed in
side the deck-railings, is suggestive of
martyrdom to all who are left out in
the first rush for the plush luxuries.
After the first season of the career of a
camp-stOol, the poor thing becomes
weak in the joints and ragged as to the
carpet-seating. 1t never was very
comfortable seat; but during it's second
and all succeeding seasons it cannot be
sat on without giving the sitter an
awful warning of possible tumble.
As for the plank, which has the deck
railing for its back, 1t ls as comfortless
, a seat as a saw-horse would be.
The selfishness on the part of the
steam-boaters in providing such dis
comforts is so well known aud recog.
niZed that habitual travellers do not
take the trouble to worry about it.
l From the persistency in selfshness
t which has for generations provided
;, such things, they know it will always
be ono of tAe the Inevitable incidents
Of Voyaging. But the selfshness O
fellow-travellers is an item of discom
fort, by the way, which is every season
v becoming more odious. The Swine
o family are largely on their travels anC
r some Of their members are on ever!
d boat. On arriving in the gaily uphol
Re stored saloon Mr., and Mrs. Swim
d deposit their portable belongings ol
v, three or four of the best plush chairs
r and tell little Johnny Swine and hi
d sister to mind them. The elder Swine
It then forage outside on the upper dec
r for the best camp-stools. If they ar
so fortunate as to find few rockin
e. chairs they pre-empt them, taking tw
be for each member of the family, one t
he sit on and one to put the feet OIL
ii. Having thus acquired furniture enough
st they plant themselves and their sea
is ing apparatus directly in the passag,
ed way. Old Mr.. Swine then lights h
he pipe or cigar and treats his fellow-pa
so sengers to copious cloud of picotinize
is incense, which the bpee4e watts direotl
in into their faces, Sometimes he 81
ed right under the sign which says "Smol
ar ing prohibited on this deck" Ifso, l
raises such a cloud of smoke that
al. cannot see the sign, and would n
mr. look at it if he could. When Swil
les smokes he also spits, and before he h
of travelled many miles he has speckl'
nat the deck with tobacco juice. The juni
re- Swines are provided with bananas, Il
er. rinds of which they drop in liberal pI
no fusion in everyhody's path. Some
to their diagusted fellOw.passengers ft
ery like throwing these young persO
in overheard, but are deferred by t
ug- illegality of such an act.
The Beside the Swine family, there a
of the endless varieties of the Don't thi
the cousinship. There is the woman W
cen lets her screaming baby run at large
are the saloon. There is the inevital
for person with peanuts, who never gath
lii up his shells. There is the inva
icu- who takes medicine out of the G
so tumbler out of which all are expect
to drink, There are the hOrril
she hungry ones who come to the stea
am boat table, and, having paid for o
irl's desire to eat for six. There are
and thoughtless men who pass throU
also cabin or saloon with lighted cigs
the There is the dude, who puts on ;
not and talks very loud about hims
md. There is the woman who thrusts
her papasol in everybody's eye, and n
her her is the man who performs the So
nha- service with his umbrella.
The And yet there are pleasures in
1oks steamboat ride. Some of the Y
her nuisances which annoy us serve
hug pleasant hints and useful lessons.
an afternoons study of human nat
pen give us cheap steamboat ride.-Ph
leap. delphiG Press.
], an
f ice Several Jews are on trial ~ q u
an in Hungary an the charge of muir
two ing Christian girl to obtain herbl'
ants great excitement prevails in the