National Republican., 1883-12-15
THE MAN on THE AVENUE.
Small Talk About Men and NIensures

Small Talk About Men and Measures.
"That man comes from the euphonio town
of the west" remarked the scribe who knows
everybody, and he pointed to chunky,
hunky little man, whose clothes haven t
fitted him for many years
"Where is h 10 town, and why do you call
it euphonic"
Tho place is in Laramie county, Wyom-
ing territory, and IL is not only euphonic, but
classic and romantic. That man comes from
Raw Hide Butte, Wyoming"
asa
Speaking of the Fitz-John Porter case, q
western man reasons by analogy as follows:
Fighting Joe Hooker is dead, and his
faults are part of history. His faults wero
glaring, but pardonablo. He always marched
TO the sound of cannon and never turned his
back upon foe until he was fairly beaten,
either by rebels or by his cantoen. Joe
Hooker never needed tho favor of congress
sional whitewash, because, though erring
he was brave, honest, and patriotic. If Fitz-
John Porter had been such Il patriot there
would be no need of tho long-s6ught white
wash.
Poor Warren is dead lie was good
soldier, q splendid officer, and o truo patriot.
He did not, as did Porter, Intentionally dis
obey orders, but ho was too deliberate and
slow in their execution. Sheridan sent him
from the field in disgrace just as he was dis
engaging himself from his fallen horse on tho
field of successful battle. Had Sheridan
been dealing with such man as Porter, who
willfully disobeycd orders the rising sun of
10, hn, ,t,, H. u.
touing musbets of his oxecutioners."
go
1t is said that Gen. William w. Belknap is
boing doomed for congress by his friends in
Iowa. TO an old-time friend tho general has
said: al don't SEQ why those people won't lot
mo alone. | have no desire for return to
public lifo. Many people are bitterly opposed
to me Just as my friends at home arc intensely
admiring and kind. | have told them again
and again that could not represent them,
yet they urge my name forward upon every
occasion. 1t does mo good, and makes mo
feel very grateful to know that the people
who have known me all of my life have so
much regard for me, but must decline their
proflered honor"
1t is nevertheless asserted that his friends
intend to put the handsome general into the
house of representatives in spite of his pro-
tests.
The Washington correspondent of a western
paper says: Senator Vance, of North Carolina,
spent an hour in my office this morning in
general conversation. He is not only good
democrat. but an excellent story teller One
of his best is concerning an old colored
preacher in Raleigh, who collects his salary
from the devout of his own race without the
aid of deacons Meeting one of his congre-
cation recently he hailed him with:
Good morning, Brudder Bony. Has you
any gift to glib de Lawd, dis mawin'?'
"Yes, parsan, sartin ! has. Heahs dol
lah." And he pulled out an old greasy
pocketbools, from which he fished greaser
greenback and reached it toward the ex-
pectant parson. Drawing it back again, he
said:
docs you expect to see de Lawd yo'sclf,
parsonY
Course does" said tho preacher
"Wheu will yer run acrost Him, dye
thinkW
ooh, sometime in dc sweet bimeby," re-
sponded his reverence.
"Well den," said Bgny, "I'se jes keep dis
greenback twell de sweet bimeby an ham it
to lie myself" and he slowed it away.
w.
Mr.. Symmes, of Louisville, the son of J ohm
Cloves Symmes, of Symmes's Hole, of north
polo fame, has written to Capt. George
L. Tyson, the well-known Arctic explorer,
stating that he intends fitting out an expedi-
tion to sail next May or June for the Arctic,
via Robson channel, and asks Capt. Tyson
to take command of the expedition. 1t will
bo remembered that Symmes, ST., had
theory that beyond the 900 of north latitude
a depression or hole existed, extending south
ward toward the equator, where a race of
giants exists amid a foliage of cocoa and
other palms and an eXuberance of tropical
fruits. Mr.. Symmes writes that he is prom
ised sufficient subscription in the west to
defray all the expenses of the proposed expe-
dition, and Capt Tyson has said that he is
willing to command such an expedition, but
that he frankly expresses his lack of faith in
the theory.
~
Gen. Clark, the clerk of the house of repre-
sentatives, bas been struggling with dry but
nlRuly llupoTtaub pIoulou huu MS lTienuo
fear that he will not be able to make salts
factory solution. He has in his Office twenty
one appointments to divide among thirty
eight states, and he has been called upon to
provide for one candidate from each state
Ex- Congressman Jones, of New Hampshire,
came down here short time since and sent
letter to Gen. Clark asking that ono of his
particular friends be retained in the service of
the house. The general responded that he
could not comply with the request, whereat
the ex-congressman waxed very worthy, and
said some things about tho ingratitude of the
democratic party, which he would doubtless
have kept to himself had an election been
imminent. Mr.. Jones is one of the wealth.
est men in New England, and he has always
contributed very literally to carry close dis
tricts in tho south, but ho has gone home now
to put new hoops on his barl, and he will
load up his shotgun and patiently wait for
the first canvssser for campaign money that
appears in the inner ofling at Portsmouth.
Several large signs, "Beware of the dog"
have also been shipped to his address.
o@@
III was elected to the Texas state senate in
1870" said the Missouri statesman, "but l
never took my seat. They counted me out,
They threw out one entire county whore l
had /, 100 majority. / canvassed that county
for six weeks. ] had to swim river to get
into tho county in tho first place. but there
never was county cauvassed as canvassed
.lo. ana I ,,,oa ridIng aInu,, ha .aa1 onn