Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17
WIT AND HUM0R.

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The wrestling season does not end I'M
I'll the fail.
Slang never heard from the lips Of a
bride-'Don't give me away
Rather wishes to know what is a
full rehearsal By the ballet?
at is little bits ov things that fret and
worry us, SAYS Josh Billings; 1--WE kan
dodge an elephant. but we kant a fly .
Elephants are taken on subscription
BY editors in India, the cord-wood hay-
ing given out
The papers say that Gebhardt looks
like footman. Then Langtry must be
a Lily of the valet.
"Sir. wrote tradesman to a debtor,
''if you will favor mo with the account
of my bill, you will oblige me; if not,
must oblge you.
One of the sweetest pictures of do
nestle economy IS poet backing a
white stocking so that II won't show
through the assures II his boo+.
The Americans arrested in England
for manufacturing dynamite We're only
trying to get even with that country for
allowing Langtry and Oscar Wilde to
come here.
The man who never saw railroad
train died again recently in Wakefield,
N. H., aged 100 years. Ignorance of
railway travelling appears to be conduc-
i've to long life.-LowSl Citizen.
1t doesn't take northern invalid very
long to get well in Florida. When the
first weeks hotel bill is presented he
generally says: II guess I'm well enough
to start for home this afternoon"
Blue Horse, good Indian, writes to
the Great Father at Washington to send
him glass eye and a cane. Blue Horse
will be taken for a dude if he doesn't
mind how he acts.
Euchered. Jack (admiringly): You
are a trump, Miss Marian. Miss M:
"Why do you call me such name as
that2" Jack (triunphantly); Because
of your taking tricks.
At a recent donation party the preach
err received a large quantity of half
cooked bread, and he says now he doesn't
want any more ''doughnation parties"
in his.
A seaside belle having left her bath
ing-shoes outof the hotel window to dry,
the townpaper announced that the hotel
had erected new awnings OF an unique
design.
1t was darling George" when a
bridal couple left Omaha; it was "dear
George at Chicago; at Detroit it was
George. and when they reached
Niagara Falls it was "Say your
An old Judge told a young lawyer he
would do well to pick some of the feath-
ers from the wings of his Imagination,
and stick them into the tail of his judg-
ment
The New Orleans PicaBtHe has dis
covered that ''the dude has two watch
chains, but no watch The dude is not
such fool as he looks. for he knows
that the weight Of watch would make
him bow-legged.
"Mean, said the Texas man of his
neighbor, 'why, there isn't drop of
the milk of human kindness in that
mans body. He's got dog that's an
elegant match for Jenk's bull-pup, and
he won + let EN- fight
A Milton man who few weeks ago
with an impecunious acquaintance
somewhat addicted to intemperance
says he is suffering from an attack of
room-mate-ism.--Hjlt0p NeWS.
A fashion item states that "The Bos-
ton young man is beginning TO wear eye
glasses and knee breeches Well the
one necessitates the other. The average
Boston young man needs the eye glasses
in order to see his legs. II Puck.
Seven years ago last January a couple
near Bennington, VT. quarreled as to
who should light the fire in the parlor,
and from that day to this none has been
made in that room a word TO the wise
is sufficient. The wise man of the house
will take a hint from the proceeding
thus stated.
Tragic: "Was it a small white, cur
dorg, with a blue ribbon round his neck,
yer was iookin' for. Miss2' "Yes,
gasped the Young lady ii anxious sus-
pense. "Well, Jack Adams Newfound.
land purp, he's a-gone and swallered
him. They carried her into the near
est drug store.
Johnny" said the schoolmistress,
you nave Dccn very uduIHly 10Y.
Now go and stand in the corner with
your face to the wall until tell you you
may 90 to your seat. p" "Please marin,
said Johnny, IF / turn my face to the
wall I'll have to turn my back to you
and the scholars. Won't that be rude?'
The maiden's point of view: Mamma
Ito MaUde, who has been with her brother
to the play and is full of it," But was
there no love in the piece, then2' Maude
Love? On, dear no, mamma. How
could there be? The principal charac-
tiers were husband and wife, YOU know. y
London PUach
The composer Of Home sweet Home, y
is moldering in the grave; the composer
of kathleen Mayourneen' is old and
poor. and the composer Of sGrandfath-
er's Clock" and Over the Garden Wall
l. an outcast who dares not venture mean
civilization for fear of being bit with a
brick or something. Philadelphia Ne10s.
A man who had thumped his wife I'M
til She died Of broken heart sought to
4 L