The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-01-23
His Pa Coos Calling.
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NHHty thih ihC NBiV VI s'hf' W ~
bad boy, as he pushed lin into the
corner by the molasses barrel, and
took him by the neck md choked
him ill bis eyes, stuck out. You
imve tlriycn away several OF my best
CUSTOMERS, and nov tdnfound yon, |
am going 10 have your lite, aud he
took up II cheese kliiic AMI began to
sharpen II in his boat. HrR
= Whats the .gurglc-,iiaitef? asked
the choking boy, as the grocery mans
Ifugers lot up oH-the boys throat a
lille, SO hc could speak. haint
done nothin. Xf VI Ia
Diin Z you hang up that dead grey
tom cat BY the heels in trout OF my
store, with tic ra bbits 1 had for safe 7
difin'. noiioeit until tho minister
called me OUT IN front OF thesstore,
aud pointing TO the raUUlisl asked NE
what good tat cats were selling lor.
BY crimus, this thing has got to stop.
You have got " move out OF this
ward or | will.
The boy got his breath and saidii
nnsnt him that put tho cat up there.
Tic raid it was tho policeman, an lie
aud his chun saw him do IL, aud he
just come ia TO tell the grocery man
about h, and before he could speak
lie had bij neck ne .rly pulled oil,
The bOj began 10 cry, and the gro
Gerry man told him he WAS only j)k.
ing, and gave him box VI ssrdines
aud they made up. Then he asked
the boy how his pa put in his New
Yeats, and the boy sighed and said;
We had a sad llins at our house
New Years. Pa insisted OIL making
calls, aud nla aud me tried TO preycnt
lit, but no said he WAS OF age, and
guessed lie could make calls il he
wanted 10, 80 he looked Al the morn.
ing paper aud got -ihe naines OF all
the places where they were going 10
receive, and he turned hi, paper col.
lar, aud changed ends with his .cuif-,
and put some arnica ON his hsndkcr.
chiof, aud started oAt. Ma told him
not to drink anything and he said he
wouldn't, but ho did. lie was full
the third place he won't TO. u, So
full. Some men can get full and not
show il, but when pa gets full ,he gets
so full his back teeth float, and the
liquor rowds his eyes out, and his
mouth gets loose and wigglcs all oyer
his face, and he lau gis all the time,
aud the Lerspiraliou just oozes out OF
HIM, aud his face gets red, aud hc
walks 40 wide. o, no dissraccd u.
all. At ono place he wished the
hired girl happy new year more
than twenty tilu-s, and hung his hat
Oh her elbow, and tried to put on a
rubber hall mat for his oycr.hoes,
AT another place he walked upon u
lady's train, aud carried away card
basket iull Of BANANAS aud oranges.
Ma wanted my chum a'nd me to toll
low ps and bring him home, and
about dark we found him In the door
yard OF n house, where they have
statutes in front OF the house, aud he
grabbed me by the arm AID miStook
mo Tor another caller. and and in
sisted on introducing tie TO q marble
statue without any clothes on. lie
ssil II was friend OF his, and II was
n winter picnic. lie hung his hat on
sn evergreen, and put his overcoat on
tho iron feuce, and was SO mortified
| almost cried. My chum said il his
pa made such circus OF dlinselt, he
would sand bag him. That gave INC
an i,iea, and when we got pa most
homcl went and. got y paper 0ox
covered with rod paper. 50 II looked
just like y brickr aud bottle OF to-
inalo catsur, and when We got pn on
the steps NJ home | hi' mn WIN ht
paper bricsr AND my chnm squir'eo
the cataup on HID slicad ann we de
manded his money, anu then h'
yelled Murder, and We III out, anf
ma and the minister, who was max
ing a call on her, all ihe AFTERNOON
they came 10 the door and pulled p'
Ia. lilo said he had been attacked b,
band OF robbers, amd they knocked
his brains out, but he whipped them
aud then ina saw the calsup BRAIN
oozing out OF his head, and sh
screamed, aud the minister said
Good heavens, he is murdered, AM
just then | came in tie back doc
3 aud they sent mo rthe doctor, an
they put pa OH the lounge, aud tie'
up his head with a towel TO Keep hi
. brainsii in, and pa began 10 snorc, an
8 whea the doctor came in II took ther
i half an hour 10 wake him, and the
'' he was awful sick TO his slnmmicl
. and INA asked the doctor ii he woul'
y live, and the doctor analyzcd I'll
catsup aud smolled OF itand told m
e he would be all right II he had a N
|, tie Worcester sauce 10 put on wit
10 the catsup. and when he said \
:, would pull through all right N
y looked awful sad. Then pa opene
his eyes and saw the minisier an
!. said that was one OF the robbers tha
D jumped OH hin, and he wanted
u whip the munster, but the doctt
Il held pas arms and ma sat on his leg
~ and the minister said ho had som