The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-22
Within an Inch of My Life.


military career l was selected as the
assistant surgeon of the Army LunatiC
Asylum then established in one Of the
eastern counties of England. At the
time of the appointment / was given tc
understand that it was one which paid
a high compliment to my professional
abilities, and wa bestowed as a reward
for good services done but as l did
not see it quite in the same light, !
| went and interviewed the chief who
had thought so much more of me than |
did of myself.
"Sir," said l., ''some men are born to
honors, others have honors trust upon
them the latter is my case. l don't
understand one bit about the treat
ment, moral or medical, of the insane.
| never saw but one mailman in my
life. and he, / verify believe, was more
knave than fool and l can't help think
ing that if you send me to the asylum,
you are sending the round man to fit
into the square hole"
"That is not of the sloightest conse-
quence," answered he whom l was
addressing, in the richest of brogues 4;
mot the layste in loife. Round or
square, the hole will suit We to a t;
and if SO be that We don't know any.
thing consuming lunatics, whoy, the
sooner ye larn the bether. Yen be
PLACED to jine widout delay. Good
morning." SO he bowed me out /;
and l, having a wholesome dread of
the powers that were, lined" forth
with.
1t is n of Shakespeare's wise say
ings that ..use doth breed a habit in a
man." Before there had passed away
many weeks of my sojOurn with the
demented officers and men of Queen
Victoria's land forces / found myself
highly interested with their pretty and
well-cared-for home, running pleasantly
in the groove l had 70 much objected
to, and getting rid for ever and a day
of that repugnance which every out
slider naturally enough entertains when
brought into contact with the denizens
of a nadhouse. With a pass key,
which has an open sesame to every lock
in the establishment, | was accustomed
to wander over it unattended either by
the keeper or the orderlies, and
never was / molested or spoken to
threateningly save once, and that upon
the occasion l have elected to call
"Within an Inch of my Life"
In the afternoons, when the patients
were not indoors, it was my practice to
go through every part of the building
inspecting it s~anitarily. l was doing so
as usual upon a certain winters day,
when, at a curve of a corridor, l came
suddenly upon a patient leaning gloom
lily against one of the pillars. He was a
private soldier of the Forty-fifth or
Sherwood Foresters, a recent admission,
and whose phase of ms nifty was some-
what puzzling the head surgeon and
myself. Without entering upon details
l shall merely say that W. had doubts
upon his case, and had recommended
his removal from the asylum to the
care of his friends. Meantime, how
ever, he was to be closely watched, and
no garden tools or implements put into
his hands. How he had managed to
elude the vigilance of the orderly under
whose surveillance he had been placed,
and to be where l met him, was one of
the things l never understood. But so
it was.
When he saw me his melancholic de-
meanorc ceased he advanced with rapid
strides toward me, and | saw at a glance
that he meant mischief of some sort or
other; for every muscle of his body
was trembling with passion, and on
every feature of his face was pictured
that of a demon. L confess that ,ear
came over me. What was this maniac
going to do? But to show apprehen-
sion would be fatal, so / faced him
boldly and exclaimed "Hollo, Mat
hewsl what are you doing here Why
are you not in the airing grounds with
the others ?"
He turned a wild and flashing eye
upon me, and glared like a wild beast.
Then he howled out rather than said
"Let me out of this |"
"What do you mean ?" l replied,
resolving, if possible, to gain time, and
trusting that presently an orderly might
pass and relieve me from the terrible
dilemma in which l stood.
"Let me out !" he repeated. 81
have been too long in this vile place.
want to rejoin my regiment to see my
poor old mother, and Mary, my sweet
heart. Why am l hereP / am NOT
mad like the others. God knows that
so do you. But if l am kept much
| longer [ shall be stark, staring mad.
Let me out, / say !"
He was now boiling over with frenzy
Still l kept my ground. Mathews
| said, 81 know that you are not mad
so listen a moment. How can l lei
you out ? / am not the head doctor
| can't act without his orders. You
removal has been recommended by him
III go and consult him now"
"No, you won't, indeed"
swell, / can't release you. 1t woult
be as much as my commission is wortl
to connive at your escape. l should b
tried by court-martial and cashiered, j
not worse. That you must be aware of.
"That's no matter to me. I'll max
Won See this ir He opened the loos