Omaha daily bee., 1883-04-07
PHPPHkMINT o

The flowers are Iabout ready for spring
openings.
The engagement ring Of the period: A
twenty.four foot Enclosure.
A young married lady of New York ate
30 much terrspin that che couldn't get
home. He now calls her his turtle dove.
There are beautiful Christmas cards,
New Year cards, birthday cards and Ess-
ter cards, but none of them can beat four
aces.
"Dwo vos shoost enough, budt dree was
too hlendty,'" renarked Hans, when his
girl ask ed him to take her mother along
with him to the dance.
The waiter inferred that the guest had
taken q little something before supper,
from the mere fact Of his ordering tiled
fraters and chork pops."
''Take Notice" Is the name of o new
town In Idaho II it wasn't for the name
some people might not zee the single sa-
loon which constitutes the place.
A Texas country paper Lost more than
half its advertising patronage by putting
the advertisement OF q mar BILE yard imme-
diately after q doctors card. The doctor
ordered his card out.
rs the bowling Of a dog always followed
by DEATH" asked . little girl Of her father.
"Not always. my dear; sometimes the
man that shoots at the dog misses him."
was the parents reply.
The New Bedford man who tainted
away out in Montana wa, only brought
out Of the fit by placing o dead fish to his
nose. As he slowly began to revive he
murmured, How good, it smells just like
home!'
A book just published Is entitled "How
to Make $500 Yearly Profit with Twelve
Hens" We have not read the book, but
we suppose the authors recipe is to sell the
corn they would annually eat and then kill
the hens. = New England Farmer.
Western miners are stampeding to
Alaska and Alaskan gold mines may he
looked for In the near future. The beauty
Of q gold mine In that country 10 In the
fact that stockholders are not likely ia
take . trip up there to look at it.-Lead.
Vile Herald.
II IL raid that the Indians who have 70.
Gently been plsyiully destroying our citi,
zens near Sllv,r City were reservation 10
dians. That means that they are fed py
the Government during the winter and put
In GOOD condition to 60 ON the war.patf
during the spring.
~ u ukuEou buoS buOI0 u bWIC0 % LuuCk
profit In hens that then IL In cows, and II
Is Just as easy to keep patching . picket
J fence around 0 hen.yard and tight you
neishbors who own gardens as Il is to ii,
up pasture walls and hunt over the country
for stray animals and settle for the dam
age they have done.
Clarence Fitz. Herbert sends us . beauti
full poem, beginning, II will wait tor m,
love at Heavens gate" We thinl
you are about right. Clarence. People who
writr that kind Of poetry seldom get any
further than the gate. You'll probably
continue to wait there long after tn
rert Of US have passed ON inside unless yor
reform and quit writing poetry and learI
to spell heaven with one v.-Burlingtoi
Hawkeye.
How The Cincinnati Enquirer iounc
this out Is q mystery : "And what in TIL
name Of goodness Is thi.!" asked Mrs. Da
, vid ID avis, as the senator lugged some
, thing into the room and dropped 1t be
feet. "This is my shirt. darling. anu II
be greatly obliged II you will sew on . but
! ton for me-" David Davis" said tn
! lady, sternly, ''when yeu bring me you
shirt l will sew on q button for you will
pleasure, a. beo NEE o fond and dutifu
, wife; but just now, Fir, l must insist upol
. your removing this circus canvas from m,
apartment"
o A Chicago paper gives the ~followin
o story concerning the recent registration Q
female voters in Boston. Euter old lad
y of q certain age: Il wish to register, sir,
Your name. pleaseT' "Almirs Jan
Simpson" "Your ag.f' "Beg pardon,
"Your sger "Do I understand that
10 must give my agei" eye, miss, the la'
Il r, quires it." "World., sir, would nc
tempt me to give II! Not that / care. N,
l had as leave wear 1t on my bonnet as
hackman does his number; but I'm o twi,
"a and II my sister has 0 weakness 1t is tbs
she dislikes any reference made to her az,
and | could not give my own because I .