davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09

From the New 1Ork Gfaphlc.l
Doctors were invented to repair the dam
ages which man brings or commits on him
self. Sometimes the damages committed by
the doctor are as great as those he tries to re-
pair But this makes little difference in the
amount of the doctors bill for damages.
When a doctor finds out any new thing
which will cure folks, and uses it, all the 9TH
er doctors turn to and abuse him for it.
Doctors go to school many years learning
to prescribe for diseases. Druggists put up
the prescriptions. The public take the pre-
scriptions and put up both with the doctors
and the druggists.
About once in 20 years the doctors relabel
all the old complaints and give them new
names. Thirty odd years ago pneumonia
was "lung fever, and "scatica' plain "rheu-
matiz." But complaints with these old
fashioned English names are bad for doctors.
People get too well acquainted with them,
and then they learn to cure themselves.
When the doctors find them out they rechris-
ten the whole lot. This is done by charging
a gun full of Greek and Latin words and fir
ing into the old complaints. When a shot
hits the name sticks. The sick are fright
ened when they are told that these words are
the matter with them and think something
new and awful has got them. When doc
tor has tried to cure a sick man and can't he
tells him he's got malaria" Nothing read
lily cures malaria in New York but dying.
Doctors usually disagree, and the more
there are of them the more do they disagree
No dozen of doctors ever yet agreed entirely
upon a mans oomplaint--unless he wal
drowned or blew his brains out. Every few
years the doctors find out that something
| they used to do is entirely wrong and likely
to kill more than they cure. But they stitch
up Just the same for whatever they are do
ing now.
Rich folks do not hire poor doctors to cure
/ them. A doctor to cure rich folks must live
| in fashionable street, an expensive house
and keep up some style. It's not the street
nor the house, nor the style, though, tina
cures the patient, and if the doctor happen
to lack brains it's sometimes supposed tina
| accident or nature cures them-if they art
| cured.
Women are often fond of doctors, becaus
/ if a woman thinks anything is the matte
with her she wants her medical adviser t
think 80, too, and she wants to try and b
cured in the most fashionable and expensive
fashion. A coarse, common, unfashionabl
doctor might tell a woman that her corset
were cutting her in two that her lungs an'
other articles thereabouts were beingsqueeZa
too much together that her life indoors wa
that of a human hot-house plant; that all tn
medicine yet to be mixed and made could no
cure her, and that, in fact, she was too ia
gone in this sort of sin and wickedness eve
TO be well woman. This might make he
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09
NO. 10.

really i'll. Would ''skilled physician" make
his patient i'll 7 Oh, no. He will humor
them and humor their complaints, and give
them all the medicine they want, and put in
his regular bill and pocket the cash and step
out of the house rejoicing, and wink at the
rich druggist on the corner as he goes by.
Some ill-natured and ignorant people call
all doctors "humbugs." This is wrong.
Doctors are not humbugs. Doctors doctor
folks the way they want to be doctored. Doc
tors know well enough that II they tell man
or woman that to get well they must stop eat.
ing too much or drinking too much or doing
too much Of anything, that they would lose
the patient. The sick man doesn't want to
do anything disagreesble to get well. He
wants to sit still and take pills. He wants
these pills to keep him well after he gets
well and while he is doing his best to get
sick again. The doctor knows this and so
gives him the pills and charges him well for
giving them, as he ought to do. A good ma
ny people are making themselves sick by
working to make a living or in trying to
make more money. Doctors know this. But
they can't help it. There's no pill yet COM
pounded that can stop man from commit
ting slow suicide in an Office full Of dead air.
Doctors cant turn tenement houses into Vel.
lowstone parks. Doctors can't stop sick ba-
kers from making bread of poor flour and
blowing it apart with unhealthy chemicals.
Doctors cant stop the making Of ssussges in
nasty cellars out of scraps of diseased meat.
Doctors can't keep the poorest butter or lard
out of pie-crust, or the mustiest eggs out of
cake, or put sunlight in dark bedrooms. Pills
don't stop these things. Powders might tenn
porarily if applied in dynamite or nitro-gly
crime preparations under the rookeries where
these outrages are daily committed But
then the relief would be hardly temporary.
The time when a doctor gets maddest is
when be gives up all hope for the patient and
the patient gets well.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09
snmn Intnrs,,Inr Flrnrr..

Prof. Sumner of Yale College has made up
some interesting figures from a recently pub
ished compendium of census statistics lie
finds that by the agency of 2,7OO,OOO hands
and of appliances represented by Il capital
Of 81, 700, OOO, 900 the manufacturing indus
tries of tho country succeeded in adding to
the value of the products operated on ST.
100, 900, 600. But he also finds that the Gus
toms duties on foreign manufactures collect
ed in the census year averaged i3t per cent,
so that in the worlds market the S., 300, OOO,-
600 Of native manufactures produced in that
year were worth but So, 700, OOO,OOO. An ar
tifcial value amounting to 81 600, 900, 600
was thus created through the operation of
the protective tariff which was, Of course,
paid by the consumers of manufactured arti-
clos. From this he draws the conclusion
that, had we paid to all the workers in
manufactures all the wages which they got,
hiring them to stand idle, and had paid 10
per cent. on all the capital, hiring the own
ers of it to let it go to ruin, provided that we
might get the commodities in free market,
the country would have made net gain Of
1913, 600, 600 by the operation.
Prof Sumner also makes an interesting cal
culation in regard to the pig iron interest. He
says that statistics Of pig iron show that the
capital invested is SlO5 600 OOO hands
employed, Al, 700; wages, SO coo 600, ay-
eraging ; 1 per day to each laborer product,
3, zoo, 600 tons; value Of all product, Ss9,-
600, 900; value OF material used S5s, OOO-
600; product raised in value, S3l OOO 600.
The imports in 1850 were 600, 600 tons tax,
81 per ton revenue, 81, 200, 600 tax paid
by the consumers of the pig iron produced
in this country, s. per ton on 300 600
tons, S25, 600, 600. 1t will thus be seen that
the country was loser by this transaction of
s per ton on both the domestic and import
cd iron. In other words if full wages had
been paid to all of the persons interested in
the manufacture Of pig iron to hire them to
remain idle, and If 10 per cent. interest had
been paid on the capital invested in this
trade, with the understanding that the mills
aud furnaces were to cease running, the con-
sumers would have been gamers by the OPP
Grafton to the amount of nearly So 1000 600.
These figures, until somebody on the other
side succeeds in overthrowing them inevita.
bly, leads to the conclusion that we may have
quite too much of so good and necessary a
thing as protective tariff.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09
ENOUGH TO KNOW.
CONTENT TO BE CURED, SHE CAR
ED NOTHING FOR THE MXS-
Terry OF THE METHOD.

1t only after he had abused and neglected that
organ that Thomas Carlyle discovered that he possess
ed what he characterized 'that internal apparatus
called stomach" Most people are unaware that they
have liver until 1t becomes dsordered. On this top
c Mrs George Fisher who resides at 20 Clark street.
New Haven, Conn, says:
81 a terrible sufferer from liver disease for II
years. My family physician said It was chronic in
hammation. He did what he could to relieve me, as
did also other physicians; but they failed. 1t may
have been through fault of theirs still they failed.
1t is only honest my part to say that had spe-
cial liking for advertised medicines; but, last re-
sort when DR.. Kennedys Favorite Remedy was called
to my notice, invested dollar and tried it, How IL
effected cure don't understand; but know 1t did,
and that's enough to know, have since recommends
ed 1t to friends in this city, who will only repeat my
story"
The man who abates the sum Of human pain GER
tainy adds to the grand total Of human happiness and
that Dr. Kennedy does this is proved by the grateful
letters he receyesBome cOuched in terms almost too
laudatory for cold type DR., Kennedy, being an edu-
Gated physician aud trained surgeon, has basis OF
solid professional character upon which to rest his
claims touching the merits of his medicine, which
| needs, however, no endorsement to those who have
used il.
Favorite Remedy, prepared by DR.. David Kennedy
Of Rondout, NJ y, is for sale by all druggists at 81
bottle. 9-ls
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09

General Lafayette was wit. In 1925.
when he visited Boston, he was presented to
some old soldiers and was heard to ask the
leader of the group if he were married. Up
on receiving an answer in the affirmative,
Lafayette responded with most tender en-
phass, "Ah, happy man :" To the person
who was next presented the same question
was put, but here the reply was, mo, sir l
am batchelor." "Oh, you lucky dog !"
whispered the questioner with roguish
twinkle in his eye. These apparently incon-
sistent remarks were overheard by bystand-
er, who taxed Lafayette with insincerity in
bestowing equal congratulations in such wide
ly different circumstances. 'Is it possible, "
said the general, turning promptly upou his
critic, that you value the prerogative of hu-
manity so little as not to know that the felic-
ity of happy man is thousand times great
er than that of lucky dogS"
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09

The following letter, protesting to have
been written to the New York Herald by a
German boy, may be fictitious, but it has
truth and common sense at the bottom of it :
Il am German boy who goes to a public
school. l find the studies not too difficult to
master, but do not get time to master them,
and what education l have received during
the last two years consists only of a tumble
of ideas about geography, arithmetic, spell
ing, history, grammar, etc. feel that these
two years education will benefit me as much
in after life as my present ideas amount to
about the comet. If had time to deliberate,
/ could master these school studies but
have heard that lawyers and judges sometimes
study whole month attempting to master
and understand the meaning of a single SEN
tence in book, and a poor youth like me
should not, think, be considered SO dumb
because / cannot master a dozen or more
pages of all kinds of stuff in a few hours. An
old man, who had been through college, told
me the other day that if 1 tried to remember
all the rivers in the world and how long they
were, and all the cities in the world and the
number of their inhabitants, might as well
try to remember nothing else as long as / liy-
ed for | would have to lie awake nights lest
| should lose some of the names or numbers.
Well, this is the kind of knowledge l have
been trying to obtain for two years past to-
gether with rules of grammar, arithmetic, etc,
TO learn by heart without understanding the
application of any of them. repeated the
twenty eighth rule in grammar used by us to
the old gentleman l refer to, but he only
laughed and asked me to write sentence SO
as to apply the rule. I couldn't apply it until
| he took half an hour to show me what the
| general idea was. although he didn't seem to
! Ennu apvthinu ahout a rula I wOuld lika IN
ask you what good my education is likely to
do me. Do you think it will fit me for busi-
ness or professional life? This kind of school
business makes boy who thinks feel that he
is either fool or somebody else is.
A GERMAN Boy"
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09

Bishop DeGoesbriand has written book
in the form of series of lectures on the
Holy Land, which is now in press.
Authority has been received for the or
ganization of national bank at Lyndon with
a capital of S1OO 900 and the privilege of in
creasing it to Sl50,000
The First National bank of Fairhaven,
whoge charter expired last Saturday, has &
new charter extending its existence 20 years.
The bank started 10 years ago with 500, 900
capital has paid SlG9, 45G in dividends, and
has now a surplus of $3O,273.
The sale at auction of the herd of Jersey
and Hostein cattle, comprising 30, owned
by Wm. e. Greene of Yergennes, took place
last Friday. The prices realized were quite
low, the cows averaging less than $40, year
lings $50 to $50, and Hoistein calves $l2.
-Chittenden county farmers don't like to
pay native farm hands the wages demanded,
and are now hiring foreigners at from S. to
$l2 a month. An Essex man has just
brought up 20 Germans from Castle Garden,
New York, and says he shall bring 500 more
before the summers work is on.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09

The PREVALENCE OF PNEUMONIA in many
parts Of the country has led to the interview
ing Of a number of prominent physicians in
New York as to the cause aud prevention Of
the disease. Dr. William A. Hammond men
tions as a contributing cause the well nigh
universal habit Of living in overheated rooms
in the winter. When it is necessary for per-
sons living in such an atmosphere to 60 out
"the great difference in the exterior temper
ature strikes upon their organization, the
cold penetrate5 them, and pneumonia kills
them DR.. Hammond keeps his office and
reception room at a temperature Of Gi and
thinks 1t greatly lessons the danger Of taking
cold upon going out. He likewise mentioned
the excessive use Of alcoholic drinks as open
ing a door for the disease" Another physi-
elan classified pneumonia As mot contagious
but a traveller and has found in his prac-
tice that persons taken with il are generally
in a low and weakened condition. either from
mental anxiety or overwork, or from the
state of the weather" Winter dampness
predisposes people to the disease, be said,
though a cold seldom does more than develop
it from conditions already existing in the sys-
TEN. The preventive measures suggested
can be summed up in the always applicable
advice Keep yourself in good condition do
not habituaily overwork or underexercse ;
avoid sudden chlls, or take prompt measures
to restore the circulation drink and eat tenn
perately breathe pure air and don't rob ma
ture Of sleep. So may you defy the foul
feud -
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09

An ON CoNuNDRUM ANSWERED 1t was
George W. Tillerton Of Franklin, Ga, who
struck Billy Patterson. This Patterson was
a Baltimore merchant who owned land in
Georgia, and once when visiting his property
became mixed up in row aud received a
heavy blow from some unseen hand. He i'm
mediately shouted, who struck Billy Pat
terson p aud went through the streets re-
peating his question, but, being IA large, pow
ertul man, got no answer But he persisted
IN bis attempt to fud the man, offered a con-
siderable reward to any one who would name
him, and as nothing came of it, left by his
will $1,000 to the person who should discover
the secret to his executors or heirs All this
was century ago. Now comes Mrs Jenny
G. Conely of Athol, n. Y, and says that her
father, George W. Tillerton, struck the blow,
was so frightened by Pstterson's rage that
he left the place, and only recently has the
family heard of the reward or legacy. She
says Tillerton spoiled his thumb by the blow
and gives so many details of the occurrence
that 1t is said she will certainly get the $1,000.
And so the famous query-"Who struck Bill
ly Patterson (which everybody has used
and nobody understood, is answered.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09

The SALVATION ARMY seems to be getting
itself considered a nuisance in all its strong
holds. In New York its paraies are the sig
nal for noisy and disorderly crowds of hood
lums from whom the police are constantly
obliged to make arrests In Switzerland the
authorities Of Geneva refuse their protection
to the army, and in London affairs are still
worse. In that city, rival known as the
skeleton army has been organized, the lead
er of which "makes up in the semblance Of
Death and rides horse that is as near a skel-
eton as possible and when the Salvation
army start out on their parades, with banners
flying and singing silly hymns, the Skeleton
army likewise files forth, yelling wicked par
odies of the hymns, and ready for a fight
which commonly occurs The police force
of London is put to it to cope with this ruffan-
ism, and meantime the poor decent people in
the district are in terror, and the tradesmen
are suffering from a complete stoppage Of
traf1i3 2, besides considerable plunder.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09

The English teetotalers ought to be well
pleased with the good work being done by
their tea and coifee-rooms. The consumption
of imported wine in that country last year
was per cent less than in 1881 and . per
cent less than in 1850, while the decline in
spirits last year was Il per cent. On the other
hand, the increase in the use of tea was per
cent and of cocoa per cent, This falling of
in the consumption of spirituous liquors is
very marked when the gain in population is
considered. 1t is worthy of note in this con-
noction that Gladstones son, Herbert, said at
a recent public meeting at Leeds that the agi-
tation through the country in favor of local
option is causing long faces at the treasury,
where it is recognized that such law would
materially lessen the revenue and he was
sure that if the people continued TO press for
ward the movement the day is not far distant
when it will be adequately dealt with by Par
lament.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09
Hop Biuers are the Purest and BEST
Bittera ever Made.

They are compounded from Hops, Malt, Buchu,
Mandrake and Dandeion-the oldest, best and most
valuable medicines in the world-and contain all the
best and most curative properties Of all other rene
dies, being the greatest blood purifier liver regulator
and life and health restoring agent on earth. No dis
ease or III health can possibly exist long where these
btters used, varied and perfect their opera
tiOns.
They give life and vigor to the aged and infrm.
To all whose employmeuts cause irreEularity Of the
bowels urinary organs. or who require au appetz-
er, tonic or mild stimuant, Hop Bltters are inyaul-
blr being highly curative tonic and stimulating with
out Intoxicating.
No matter what your feelings and symptoms are, or
what the disease ailmcnt, Hop Bitt,rs. Don't
wait until you sick, but If you only feel lad ana
miserable use Hop Bters at once. II may save your
life. Hundreds have been saved by SO doing. $500
will be paid for case they will not cure or help.
Do not suffer let your friends suffer- but and
urge them to use Hon Bitters
Remember, Hop Bitters is no vile, dragged, drunk
en- nOstrum, but the purest and best medicine ever
made: the inyalds friend and hope. Noiamily should
be without them.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09

The Railway Age of Chicago publishes
summary of the railway construction in the
United States for the year 1882. The sum-
mary covers only the main tracks, and shows
in A. of the AZ States and Territories, on $40
lines to aggregate l,343 miles, or about
2OOO miles more ahan in 1881, which exceed
ed the construction in any previous year by
1000 miles. The construction is divided as
follows; In five New England States 53i
miles in four Middle States, 13l5l miles in
five middle Western States, 2O77l miles in
eleven Southern States, l49Ol miles in four
States in the Missouri river belt 2063l miles
in FIVE States in the Kansas belt, 2l574 miles
in five States in the Colorado belt 1lG5 miles,
and in six States In the Pacific belt, 1920
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09

Mr.. Jennings, the correspondent in London
of the New York World, forecasts that in the
course of the present year an emigration from
Great Britain to the United States will set in
such as has not been seen since the days i'm
mediately following the discovery of gold in
California. He bases his pronostication main
ly upon the fact that England has more peO-
pie ON her soil than she can support; agricul-
ture has become precarious occupations the
cotton and iron trades have seen their best
days; there is growing disposition for high
er life than that of the lifelong plowman or
operative No mere enfranchisement of the
rural population in proportion to that of the
boroughs in England and Scotland, or modi-
fcation of the land laws in Ireland, will an
swer the purpose.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09
Miscellany,
Robin and \.


once upon winter day,
As sat, forlorn and sad
Thinking, In fretful way,
OF the time when 1 was glad
Hopping lightly DER tue SNOW
Came q robin that know.
on the window-ledgc he stood,
With a bright, inquriug eye;
Twas q compact that he should
Always call In passing by,
Just to show we might pretend
Each to entertain friend.
when saw my tiny guest
Waiting for his daily crumb
Dainty, trim and self-possessed,
Never doubling 1t would come,
could almost lear him say,
Mistress food Is scarce to-day
And my heart made sad reply,
As the little dole ! threw,
"Strauge that one 80 poor as
should have store enough for two!
Robin, If the thing could be,
Would you throw a crumb to me?
Not sound disturbed the hush
Save my own impatient Sigh;
Robin to q neighboriug bush
Darted OF without goodbye.
How! you leave me, iaithless bird,
As l waited for a word.
All! wronged that heart Of flame:
Through the silence, sweet and clear,
Forth his CHEEKY carol came,
Aud / held my breath 10 hear;
For that dear familiar strain
Woke my better self again.
Twas benediction sweet,
Chauted in a foreign tOugue,
Like those praces after meat
by the warbing scholars sung
Where the reverend customs hold,
Handed down from men Of old.
Did dream that, as he sang
Some one entered at the door
That some childish laughter rang,
And small footsteps crossed the h001
Who hath touched my lips with wine,
Mellow juice Of aud lang syne?
Suddenly the music ceased,
Yet the silence breathed Of balm;
Art thou flown then, small hedge priest,
Somewhere else to raise the psalm?
Man, the Master truly said,
Doth not live alone by bread
fs...f M,.fs.Ta
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09

The Boston correspondent of the Advance
asked Wendell Phillips few days ago "Are
you writing any "reminiscences of anti-savery
days?" mo, have not the time. 1t ought
to be done. Garrison was the man to do It,
and be ought TO have done it. He meant to,
but he was given to putting of things. AT
one time he took a retired study for the pur-
pose, moving his books and papers into 1t and
planning to work at the matter diligently,
and-never entered the room again"
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-03-09

Anthony Trollope, just before he laid down
his pen never TO take it up again, wrote these
words, which will appear in his last novel
Amusement is good, truth is still better,
and love best of all. Love gives itself and Is
not bought but all true love is founded on
esteem"