Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-11-25

[Peck's Sun. ]

II
a report comes from Russia tina
one of the imperial chamberlain,
committed suicide on being discover
Cd placing Nihilistic documents II
the bed room of the Czarina. d
course. the ordinary nine spot reader
mas no idea what the documents wers
that were placed in the female Car.
bed room They may have beer
bombs. mode of chemicals that would
explode when water was dropped up
on them. ami they might have been
placed in her wash-bowI, so thai
when she poured out water with
which TO wash herself she would
have been blown into sausage meat
The documents may have been me
chanical frogs. put in her bed, so ar.
ranged that when her warm body
touched the frogs, the machinery
would start and blow :he lady cut OF
the window There are 50 many in.
ventions for killing Cars. that the
reader is at q loss to know what par
ticuar incendiary or explosive docu-
| nents the he chambermaid may have
placed there. before committing sui
eide. But these things, occurring so
often. should be warning to our
American ladies to never have q
yearning ~ become Czarinas. A
United States woman who can go to
bed and sleep all night without fear
Of being blown sky-high, and who
can get up in the morning and put On
her clothes without first having to ex-
anime every garment to see il they
are loaded, has one constant picnic.
though she be poor and untitled,
compared TO the constant anxiety
of a Czarina. who feels that there has
been an error some where il she gets
all her clothes on without hearing
something explode. We should have
pity for q Czarina. Think Of a Gar
ina waking up in the morning and
feeling of herself. to see If she is all
there. and after finding that no limbs
have been blown off during the night,
see her raise up her head in fright
ened manner aud look at her clothes
on the floor, and wonder If the Mill
istic he chambermaid has not come
to her room in the still watches OF the
night and filed the billowy waste of
garments that she kicked off the
night before. with self-acting, breech.
loading, fixed ammunition. She has
got to put those very clothes on. and
she feels it is dollars TO buttons that
when she picks up an under garment
from the floor by the table leg. that
she will be blown to atoms through
the roof. In Imagination the reader
can see the Czarina crawl cautiously
out 6f bed. step carefully along the
carpet. with her eyes starting from
their sockets. and take a pair Of
tongs and pick up pair OF innocent
drawers by the point lace trimming
and shake them. as she closes her eyes
and turns her head away in the hope
il they do explode she can save her
face at least from being disfigured,
and be recognized by the mourners.
Finding this bifurcated apparel to be
free from the deadly bomb. she drops
il and with strange forebodings takes
hold of the short-sleeved garment on
the rocking chair. with the tongs and
with her heart in her mouth she
whacks it against the footboard of
the bed, demonstrating that. too, is
not loaded. The work has only just
begun. and though relieved she feels
that in such a moment as she thinks
not, something Is going to bust. and
she approaches the corset with fear
and trembling. There are such ia
cilities in the mechanism of corset
for the concealment Of Nihilistic doc
uments that her whole soul is wrought
up, and she hesitates to touch the
thing with the tongs, and half de-
cides to leave the corset OF, but when
she reflects that to dress without q
corset would make her look three
cornered, she concludes to 60 whole
corset or none, and reaches for it
with the tongs. One of the hooks on
the corset catches on the soap dish,
and causes a rattling which the Carl
ma takes as a prelude to an explosion.
and she drops the tongs and crawls
under the bed and says her nOw-I.
Law me, but on finding that it is
false alarm she crawls out and tackles
the corset again, and by banging it
against the headboard of the bed she
finds that it has not been tempered
with. Then she fishes her false teeth
out Of the tumbler with button
hook and examines them, takes her
hair with hair-pin and lOoksit over,
takes the tall stockings by their sus-
penders and flops them against the
waah-bowl to see il there is any
Christmas presents of dynamite in
them. kicks her shoes across the room
and awaits the expected explosion.
On finding al of her clothes free from
Nihilistic documents, including the
pockets Of her dress, which Nihilist
couldn't find to save him. she puts on
her clothes with feeling Of content
ment which is only broken when she
goes down to breakfast. expecting
that the muskmelon contains Q giant
powder cartridge. the coffee has
strychuine in it. and the rolls are load
ed for bear. 1t must be q fearful life
OF anxiety to be q Czarina, and we
hope no American queen will ever
sigh for position which will make
her hair turn gray in single night