The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-09-01
Dress Reform.

ST want to call your attention to our
system of dress reform" commenced an
ancient dame with q very wide mouth, as
she entered the managing editors sane
tum and threw her hat on the table.
Looks very pretty" murmured the
managing editor, surveying the bloomer
costume with critical eye.
"See how free and easy everything is,
continued the woman, brandishing her
arms and skipping around. 'Did you
ever see anything to equal that?"
''Don't think ever did," replied the
managing editor calmly. I'm pa lepared
to say that I never saw anything any
where that bore any resemblance to 1T.
Comfortable, pretty, accommodating
all the limbs and giving free play to all
the muscles. Notice that?"
"Don't really see anything else"
clamored the admiring editor. 'That
element seems to be the mainstay of the
whole business"
'Now want this paper to pick this
scheme up and make it popular among
the ladies of the nation. Are You pre-
pared to go into that branch of philan-
thropy?"
cts a little out of the line of my du-
GI0S, I6SpOuuOu Iu0 AAdnhSibS OoAtOAs
'tI'll call in the religious editor. He
knows about such things"
ST see, I see, muttered the religious
editor, AS he took the show in at a glance.
''You keep those pantaloons up with
suspenders, reckon.
''That's just it, replied the delighted
reformer. '"That is where this costume
approaches that of man, and therefore
is perfectly comfortable.
Suppose you bust suspender, what
do you propose to do about that?" asked
the religious editor delicately.
"Sew it up" replied the woman
promptly.
''But suppose you're on picnic and
there is no needle haDdy?"
ST don't know" murmured the woman
meditatively.
Tell me frankly" demanded the re-
ligious editor sternly,s s'do you know how
to fasten suspender with stick?"
''No, DON'T" retorted the woman.
''Have you ever seen woman who
does?"
ST don't bslieve I ever have, returned
| the reformer.
ST supposed So" commented the relig-
ious editor. 'I thought so. Now, an
other thing. Do you know how to tie a
button on with string2"
"I have never tried to-" stammered
| the woman.
'sI wouldn't have believed you if you
/ had" continued the religious editor.
lyon begin to see where your dress re-
form will come out in case of accident.
But there is something else. You have
suspenders for your pants and another
pair for your socks. Now suppose you
were dressing in hurry and those sus-
penders got mixed, and you put the pair
for the socks on the pants and the
pants pair on the socks. And suppose
you hoisted the socks up to the collar
bone and you found your pants were be.
ginning to slip"
You're brutel" howled the woman
as she made break for the door.
''That was rather tough, wasn't it?'
asked the managing editor, regarding
the disappearing figure with an emotion
of relief.
81 don't know" replied the re
ligious editor, looking longingly a
the bottom drawer of the managing
editors desk. ''Underneath all hel
dress reform she was strapped up like
mule in blacksmlth's shop, and knew
it, II she hadn't scattered ON that las
question, she would on the next. so i
was only matter of time. ''How dt
you like that apple jack I saw you tasting
an hour or so ago?"-Brooklyn Eagle.