The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1883-05-05
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

They laugh best whose laugh lasts
Why should echo be called she ?" 1t al
ways has the last word.
Georgia man recently broke his back
by sneezing.-'Sneeze thing to do.
There is nothing in it when man says
his hand is always open to his friends.
By what means do spirits materIalize
Echo answers. 4" Material lies"
Spring bonnets this year will, as usual,
rest on false foundstions of hair
The time for washer to take in her
clothes is at the closing hours of day.
A man with an economical mind should
sndeaVor to lay up sense for a foolish day.
Why does a railway conductor punch a
hole in your ticket To let you pass
through.
When the little short man begged the
big tall woman for kiss, she stopped to
concur.
Many Of the cigars labeled Key West
bear Key-West-ionable resemblance to a
dried cabbsge.
A bank president left Southern town the
other day forever, without taking a cent Of
the banks money with him. He died.
Yes" said the landlord, pointing to his
block of new houses, they're all full. 'cept
the one at the end; that's last but not
leased
Nothing 50 strongly tests a mans vera
city as to be summoned to the door to be
confronted with the question, 1" Are you the
head of the house e.
Il live in Julia's eyes," said an affected
dandy in Colman's hearing. II don't won
der at it," replied George, .'since 1 observed
she had a sty in them when 1 saw her last
A Phil4delphia organist has been dis
charged for playing (thought very slowly
and solemnly) a march from an opera bouHe.
Seventeen deacOns recognized it at once.
The remains of a man have been dug out
of the ruins of Pompeii. with both hands
resting on his stomach. The building in
which ne was found is supposed to have
been a cheap restaurant.
Never sit without colt at an open win
dow when heIted.-Gr,P Ii has been
scientifically determined that there is
nothing more absolutely dangerous than a
heated open window.
A physician said one day to FontenelIe
"coffee is slow poison" Yes, very slow
answered FOntenelle. smiling. " for [ have
taken it every day for more than forescOre
years"
The daughter of a Texls little king has
lust returned from Paris, where she says
she walked through the ToortlOorIlS, and
visited 4 shottoe where she saw the statues
of Pysic and Catherine de Medical.
An author who euIogizing his own works
as containing much food for thought
was rather taken back by the remark OF a
Of friend: They my contain food for
thought, but it is wretchedIy cooked
The news comes from Peru that the peace
o,rty is gaining strength. We have Often
poticed that after boy has been knocked
down and held down and poundei for long
tune by another boy, a strong desire oi
neace is apt to arse in his breast
A little work published in England IS en-
titled .Thirty-fve Ways of Popping the
Question = GoOd gracious 1t makes the
nsrsniration run down a young woman
hack TO pop the question only one way ana 1
ha had to undergo the ordeal of thirty-foul
additional pops. th-re wouldn't De hucl
more than a grease spot of him left
An orange eaten before breakfast cure .
the cravings for liquor and improves dis
o-dered stomach We make known tnl
discovery for the good of the cause pa
oatb;no oil City Btizzard. VI cours
we wont say anything; we are not eh
Kind 10 give fellow away But It's avn
the ruin and misery caused by the accufse
rum