Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-03-30
ORR KALEIDOSCOPE.

WIN ureW out hhlr from his butter.
He started to say,
"T-ttake t-t-thls b-b-butter away"
But he only looked utterly utter.
Point blank
Peck's son is bad boy.
/ Behind the time--the dial.
A mere makeshift-a brakeman.
About this time look out for squalls-on
the shed roof
The merrie archerie Of John Bland
His daughter doth dcplOre
He bent the beau with his own right hand,
And shot him through the door
The American Press-thc corset
Good time to read that piece of "Wintet's
!, Tale"
Vertical travel is the latest euphemism
for dynamite explosions.
There is a miser out West nearly u hum
drcd years old, who has never been inside of
a church, because they always pass the con-
tribution box. Never mind he will 60 in
dead head pretty soon.
"Hcre-please take your seat, )" as the bull
dog said to the young man who was some
what hastily leaving the premises with a
panied look, as though he had forgotten some
thing.
Blobson says that when he tries to board q
moving train he generally boards around.
The Canadian weather prophets haven't
really had fair shake at the weather. it has
been mostly out of their jurisdiction. But
they will have a better chance now The
sun has crossed the line
"Givc the people show" Indignantly
demands Democratic exchange. Why,
what would you have Isn't p. r. Barnum
getting ready 10 put bis grand aggregation on
the road?
There is man over the lake whose name
is John Slapp. When the boys want to get
him mad they call him Sapp, Jack.
What is 1t that never walks aud yet is al
ways on foot? A corn.
Sarah Winnemuca, the Piute Indian
princess, has had twenty husbands. Sarah
ought to be introduced to DR.. Dix.
ooh, give us rest!' as the young man
said, when the ritle-club boys told him they
always shot point blank, from the shoulder
There is one argument which the anti
cremation party has failed to urge in favor
. of burial, and that ists freedom from dust.
: "a great hue and cry was raised"-as the
newspaper reporter said when the sluggcr hit
his adversary on the nose, and caused the
4 blood to squirt.
A man out in Illinois fell from a scaiYold
S and broke his neck He wasn't horny
: handed farmer looking for hcns' eggs, bet he
wore the same kind of slp-noose cravat, aud
S according to the papers, his stock must have
been raised some.
!. Nevada Indians handle snakes by making
II them drunk. Civilized men don't vast,
u whiskcy that way, but they handle lots o
# snakes, just the same.
: "Sepulchral furniture" is the the latest GU
!. phemism under which doctors order subject
v for the ,dissecting room.
: A dealer sent President Arthur twelve bot
r. ties OF whiskey with the request that he Civ
l. his opinion Of the stun. The President re
e turned the beverage without tasting it. w
:, wait for the w. G. T. L. to find their hand
kerchiefs and give three whoops and u scream
and will now add that the President smelt 0
it and concluded it was not as good as hi
own.
| toJ that ~, Oh;
y Through Georgia" might be sung at his grav
NJ Instead of hymn. Anybody who has eve
It been in Georgia will he struck by the apprc
is priatcness Of the request.
y. The Mayor of Brooklyn recently attende
70 an exhibition at kindergarten, and in clio;
ing his address to the children quoted tina
rs classic rhyme, "The rose is red, tie violC
to blue the pink is sweet, and 50 are you.
We HIS closing remark was addressed to tn
Oh teacher.
&c a Yonkers cOlored man lie years old hG
ia just married mulatto girl of 90. The ga
u, and festive young bridegroom will now ento
10 upon the serious business Of life.
o. A Washington Territory Indian, VIII
" y, came to life as he was about to be burieC
Al claimed that he had had an interview wit
the Great Spirit, who told him that Wiggr
W is a fraud. Doesn't seem as though franc
I'd was necessary to find that out.
a A Chuamau nigh. also TO be useful at tn
he wood-pile. He handles Chopsticks wit
ii grace.
r. An exchange says that oyster parks are r,
pidly increasing in France. How funny
vi must look to see oysters walking aroun
arm in arm, and making love on rust
r. bridges.
IL Ladies who still think it fashionable
I'd make their own shoes will be glad to lear
u of an easy method practced by the dwell
AZ AZ ers on the Island of St. Helena. 1t consis
nv of wrapping around the feet the soft, war;
en- skin of the pot-flsh, which, in drying, retain
ry the shape of the foot. AS the fishing seasc
me- 'e is approaching, ladies will do well to cut tn
out and paste 1t in their hats.
A Georgia court has decided that ma
a has no right to take off his coat and sit in h
n shirt sleeves in a railway car. The only Wa
ng for the prosecuted Georgian to. keep co
he will be to come into the car without al
IL coat on,
= Why is a stii, automatic speaker on Il
stage like q man OF limited resources
Because he has but one string to his boy
Blobson bought small cabinet organ /
cause it was cheap and was advertised
have seventeen stops After Amelia Ii
played it for q few days he begun to wi