The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-06-05
PECK'S BAD BOY.


"Well, how's your eyep ?" said the
grocery man to the had boy, as he blew
in with the wind on the day of the cv.
clone, and left the door open. "Say,
shut that doer. You want to blow every
thing out OF the store3 Had any more
fights. protecting girls from dudes ?"
'No, everything is quiet so far. /
guess .ince hyae got record as
| fighter, tue boys will be careful who they
insult when / am around. But have
had the hardest week have experienced,
Jerking snda for the Young Mems Chris
sian Association" said the boy, as T.
He Peeled a Banana.
| "Wbat do you mean, boyp Don'!
least any reflections on such noble AS
fsocis,ion.s They don't drink, do they p,
! "Drink! o, no! They don't drink
anything Intoxicating, but when it comes
to soda th y food themselves. You
know there has been a National Con.
ven,ion Of delegates from all the Young
Mems Christian Associations OF the
whole country, about three hundred,
here our store is right on the street
where they passed four times day, and
never saw such appetites for soda
There has been one continual fiz in our
store since Wednesday. The boss want
ed me to play it on some of them by
Iput,ing .ome ''.aF
Brandy i'm With the Perfumery,
q few times, but / wouldn't do it ]
guess g few weeks ago, before l had led
q different life, / 0ouldnt had to be ask.
Jed twice to play the game on anybody.
But man can buv soda of me and be
perfectly safe. OF course, if q man
winks, when ask him what favor he
wants, and says never mind I know
enough to put in brandy. That is dii.
fer-nt. ButI wouldn't smuggle it into
a man for nothing This Christian As.
soeiatlon Convention has caused cold.
ness between pa and ma though"
"How's that? Your pa isn't jealous,
is he p" and the grocery man came
around from behind the counter to gel
the latest gossip 10 retail to
The Hired Girls,
who traded with him.
"Jesl6us nothin'," said the boy, as be
took few raisins out of bnx. "You
see, the delegates we're sniff ID out to
all the church members to take care of,
and they dealt two to ma, and she new
er told pa anything about it. They
came to supper the first night, and pa
didn't get home, so when they went to
the Convention in the evening ma gave
them night key, and pa came home
from the boxing match about eleven
o'clock, and ma was asleep. Jus as pa
got most of his clothes of he heard
somebody fumbling at the front door.
and he thought it was burglars.
Pa Has Got Nerve Enough.
when he is ON the inside of the house
and the burglars sre on the outside. He
opened window and looked out aud
saw two suspicious looking characters
trying to pick the lock with skeleton
key, and he picked up new slop, jar
that ma had bought when We moved,
cover and all, and dropped it down
right between the two delegates. Gosh,
| if ii had hit one of them there would
have been the solemnest funeral you
ever saw. just as it struck they got
the door opened and came in the hall,
and the wind was blowing pretty had
and they thought q cyclone had taken
the cupola off the house They were
talking about b ing miraculously saved,
and trying to strike match on .
Their Wet Pants,
when pa went to the head OF the stairs
and pushed over wire stand filled with
po,ted plants, which struck pretty near
the delegates, and one of them said the
house was coming down sure, and they
better GO into the cellar, and they went
down and got behind the furnace. Pa
called me up and wanted me to go down
cellar and tell the burglars we we're onto
them, and for them to get cut, hut /
wasn't very well, so pa locked his door
and went to bed. ! guess it must have
been half an hour before pas cold feet
woke ma up, and then pa told her not TO
move for her life, cause there we're two
of the savagest looking burglars that
ever was. rumaeing over the house.
Ma SmelIed Pas Breath
to see If he hal got to drinking again,
and then she got up and hid her oraide
watch in her shoes, and her Onalaska
diamond earrings in the Bible, where
she SAID no burglar would ever find
them, and pa and ma laid awake till day.
light. and then pa said he wasn't afraid,
and he and ma went dc wn to the cellar
Pa stood on the bottom stair and looked
around, and one of the delegates said
"Mister, is the storm over, and is your
family safe," and ma recognized the
voice, and said, "Why, its one OF the
delegates. What you doing down there,
and pa said "what's delegate" and
! then ma explained it. and pa apologized
and the delegate said it was no matter
! as they had enjoyed themselves real wei
: in the cellar. Ma was mortified mos
3 to death, but the delegates told her i
was all right
. She Was Mad at Pa,
first, but when she saw the broken sloE
bowl on the front steps, and the pottet
plants in the hall. she wanted to kill pa
g and guess she would only for the SO
! ciety of the delegates. She couldn
help telling pa he was bald.headed ole
e fool, but pa didn't retaliate. He is toe
!, much Of a gentleman to talk back il
company. All he said that woman
who is old enough to have delegate
sawed off on to her ought to have sens
8 enough to tell her husband, and ther
., they all drifted off into conversation
about the convention and the boxing
match. and everything was all right ol
the surface, but after breakfast, wheI
# the delegates went 10 the convention,
It noticed, pa went right down town ant
n bought new slop jar. and some NOR
5 plants. Pa and ma didn't speak all To
0 forenoon, and I guess they wouldn't d
{ to this time only mas bonnet cam
e home from the milliners, and she had t.
have some money to pay for 1t. The
She Called Pa pet
: and that settled it, When ma calls p
y 'pet,' that is twenty-five dollars. 'Des
s old darling means fifty dollars. Bu,
say, those Christian young men do