davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22
HUMOROUS.

-'Selection." Brown Gas no was
leaving our art conversazione, after
rattling scramble in the cloak room1 -
"Contound It'll Got my own hat after
all"--L0ndor, Punch.
An obscure, but yet not wholly un-
Ineligible joke in regard to the mule
is that Though he cares very little for
precious stones in general, yet he gem
orally affects topaz"-M r Graphic.
Canal mules do soP--Boston Post. -
Judge Tourgee is delivering lect-
ure on "a Family of Fools" We
haven't heard 1t, but presume he rofers
to the girl who kindled fire with
kerosene, the boy who "didn't know it
was loaded" and the man who asks:
''Is it cold enough for youP-M Y.
advertiser.
High classic" Can you compre-
hond meP" Il am, perhaps, q little
obtuse, but you may be sure that |
shall get at your meaning presently"
Low classic" Can you catch on?"
"Well, perhaps 1 don't drop as sud-
denly as some, but you bet I'll tumble
as quick as the average. ."-1he Jttdge.
"A magazine writer has recently
published a long article about "women's
noses" The best thing we know about
woman's nose is mustache. Tho
best kind is n pale brown, and waxcd ut
the ends. For sample, and instruction
in best method Of application, apply at
| this office, after business hourS.-Bur-
hmgfon Ha,0kcye.
SO you have got twins at your
house% said Mrs. Bezumbo to little
Tommy Samuelson. eyes, ma am, two
of EN-" "What arc you going to call
thcmP" "Thundor and Lightning."
why, those are strange names TO call
children" "Well. that's what pa
called them as soon rs he heard thoy
were in tho house. ."-Icras Sittings.
-"Justice, your Honor!" exclaimed
legal comet in ono Of his eccentric per-
orations, lis not like the fabuatcd
Briarious OF old, whose eyes were rs
multiplied as the sands of the sea, nor
yet like efamed Cyclops whose vision
perforated only the arena of the coming
tuturity, but like tho sportivc demon
stration of blind mans buI.' She
pursues her way unsccmg and unseen,
holding tho StoclyardS that weigh w ith
cOcval vicissitude tho carats of cold
and the carrots of horticulture, and
knowing no North, no South, no East, no
West ?'-Rome (M. ~ Sentinel
A report comes from London that
there is q change in the fashion in
dogs. Young ladies who have been
wearing English pugs to match their
complexion, trimmed with plastrons
and things, or the Italian greyhound or
King Charles spaniel, cut entrain with
in OF and poionaisc, will regret to learn
that they havo gone out of fashion, and
they might rs we'll be given to the poor
or sold TO tho old rag-man. Thenew style
of dog is the fluffy white Pomcranian,
with nose in point applique and shir-
rcd ears; or the Maltese terrier, with q
silk Jacket and velvet lingerie some
thing that way.-NorriStoaOn Herald
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

PH1DADELpH1A"lawyer have question
which stumps them at last. Tho Con-
trollership of that city became vacant
by resignation. The Common Council
elected q new man. The person left in
charge by the resigning Controller re-
fuses to give up the office, and the Court
sustains him. Lawyers are divided upon
the point whether the Office is q county
or city one, to be filled by the State
Governor or city government in case OF
vacancy. The most serious feature OF
the whole trouble is that all the police
men, school teachers, department clerks
and laborers are kept out of their pay,
because no bills can be cashed before
they are approved by the Controller,
and there is no recognized Controller tc
do it.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22
Arctic Ice.

The unlucky prisoner in the immense
field ice during the imposing, unbrokcn
loneliness of the long Arctic night, when
the wind Is calm, can hear the crackle
of the snow under the stealthy tread of
the polar bear at an astonishing distance,
and hear what man, speaking loud,
says Mt l 200 metres distance. 1t can,
therefore, be we'll understood how tho
sound of ice-pressurcS must travel to
his ear from enormous distances.
Sometimes" the author writes, the
noise OF the ice movements was scarcely
to be hcard-a mere murmur-and came
to our ears as does the play of the waves
on steep coast from the far distance
Sometimes it hummed and roared closer
to us, as II whole column of heavily
laden wagons were being drawn over the
uneven ice surface" In the sound was
combined all manner of noises caused
by cracking, grinding, falling Of blocks,
crushing and many other phenomena OF
ice life. 1T is astonishing how far and
how clearly every noise is conducted in
the ice. The noise ut the very margin
of the field on which we were seemed tt
occur Immediately Mt our feet. II W.
placed our ears to the ice, the sound was
heard 80 loudly that we might have ex
| pcctod the ice too pen under our feet til,
next moment. The whole dry icc-cov
crlng was vast eounding~bOard
Whenever, as J. lay down to sleep,
placed my ear against tho dry, woodel
ships side, | heard n humming and buz
zlng which was nothing else but th
sum of all the noises which occurred il
the ice at a great distance from tn
ship"
The surface of an expanse Of youn!
saltwater ice on which no snow has ye
fallen is soft, so that the footstcp is i'm
pressed upon its white covering as il
melting snow. This is to be observed
even Mt q temperature of 40 deg. G
The unfrozen fluid is not water, but
concentrated solution of salt thrown on
by the freezing of the icc beneath.
When summer begins the thawinf
that occurs is very local and unequal
Any darG body, such MS n heap Of a6h es
or the dropping Of bears, eats its way
into the snow, absorbing the rays O
heat which are reflected off again by
the general white surface. The bear
droppings eat their way into the snow
and then into the ice, and the conica
hole thus formed fills itself with water.
1t may at last eat it's way right through
the ice where not very thick. Thus are
formed the greater part of those holes
in drift-ice which are usually ascribed
to seals. The author never saw seals
hole in winter.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

EVIDENCE Of the extent of the bust
ness done by Fleming and Merriam and
other professional grain brokers at Chi
cago, the delivery of money letters to
whom was stopped by the Postal De-
partment few days ago, accumulates
from day to day, 1t appears they not
only received money from farms, towns
and villages all over the country, but
also from Canada, and even from some
points in England and Scotland. The
sums transmitted to thom, for invest
ment in grain futures, arc estimated to
roach into the millions, and it is inti-
mated that certain respected and highly
connected persons joined hands with tho
recognized gambling element in working
the scheme.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

JOHN w. BARRON, Treasurer of the
Dexter (Me.) Savings Bank, was found
in the vault of the bank on February %,
1878, dying from wounds mich he re-
ceived during the night. Many will
recall the thrill of admiration that swept
over the country when the news was
published Of Barron's heroic death in
defense Of the treasure in his keeping,
and the painful reaction when the
charge was made that the wounds were
self-inhicted to hide defalcation. Suit
brought by the bank against Barron's
estate led to an examina ton. For four
years the trial has been postponed, and
ID now about to be resumed. New evi-
dence is said to have been found to
prove that Cashier Barron was really
murdered at his post of duty. 1t is
worth much to have this almost solitary
instance of fidelity in wide waste of
banking treachery and criminality.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

SECRETARY FoLGER has sent aletter to
Congress recommending tho consoll.
dation of customs districts in many in
stances, in order to effect a saving in the
salaries Of officers Mt ports where the
business is very small and does not in
crease from year to year. The Secre-
tary's recommendations would in effect
not lessen the number Of collection dis.
tricts, but in some cises reduce the
number of officers at the port which,
after the reorganization, would comprise
all the consolidated ports, and reduce the
aggregate cost for salaries $49i, ,295. The
Western ports which would bo affected
by the proposed consultations arc the
following: 1t is proposed to consolidate
| with the district of Chicago, the districts
| of Galena, Omaha, Dubuque, and Bur-
lington; to increase the number of officers
land employees from seventy-six to ninety
ono, and the cost for salaries from 904,.
418 to $111 $3.50. 1t is proposed to con
solidate with the Minnesota District
at st. Paul, the districts of Duluth
Montana and Idaho, to increase til,
number of officers and employer
from twenty-five to thirty-two, ant
the cost for salaries from S32.3 .302 t,
s38, 800. Tho greatest reduction o
officers and employees will take place q
the chief eastern ports.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22
The Salt OF the Ocenn.

Even the primitive sen must have beer
highly charged with saline matters of all
kinds. When the earth was still intense
ly heated, thc whole of tho water now on
its surface must have been present aa
gas III its atmosphere, ut first no doubt
dissaSsociatcd, but aftcrward M aque-
GUS vapor. Since, if the sca-bOtt0m and
continents were SmOOthcd down to uni
form level, the sea would still suffice tC
cover the entire earth to depth OF over
| 900 fathOms, aqueous Vap0ur cqunl 10
q layer of water of that thickness must
have existed in the atmosphere and have
produced n pressure OF more than ton
on the square inch Mt the earths surface.
70 this pressure must have been addcd
that produced by all the other vapors
with which tho primitive atmosphere
must hayo been filled. AS the earth
cooled the water condensed on the cool.
ost spots from timc TO time, boiled, and
rose rs vapOr again. Mr.. Mallct con.
lectures that tho first water formed on
the earth's surface may have been evoE
as hot as molten cast iron. At last per.
manent seas were established. Tho
waters of these heated to an intensely
high temperature under great pressure,
must have dissolved salts in abundance
from tho freshly consolidated earth's
crust, and being constantly in n state Of
ebulition as the pressure diminished at
the surface with the growth of the seas,
or the temperature of the earth's sur.
face varied in diffcront places, must have
taken up vast quantities of rock matter
in suspension, and become thiclIly
charged with volcanic mud. Intensely
hot rain must have fallen on the land
and have washed down more salts and
mud into the sea- Tho whole ocean
must have consisted of vast mass Of
secthing mud. 1t must have required a
prOtractcd period for the ocean to become
clear, and for its deposit, which was per-
haps somewhat like the present deep sea
red mud, to settle, and possibly She
deeper water long remained uninhabita-
BILE, being overcharged with various
gases and salts and suspended mud.
There is an enrolment of 1876, ,574
in the Minnesota schools, tho State haV.
inV n schoOl pOpulatiOn OF 3l6,04S. 80
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

THE robust health of the English in
general is said to be due to their diet,
They are good and substantial eaters.
They like plain, solid food, we'll cooked
and do not, as a rule, demand variety,
Meat, vegetables, and puddings are
their staple dishes, and thin soups and
foreign kickshaws find no favor in their
eyes. They despise alike French dishes
as rich and unwholosome, and German
cookery as coarse and unpalatable. Tho
roast beef of Old England is their staff
OF life, and ham and eggs come next in
their good graces. Ice wator is a rarity
among the mass of the population, who
look on it almost as poison.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22
How She Won Him.

have just heard the most romarka-
bic story of the cvenness of tho female
temper. 1t is n beautiful little fairy
story, and may appropriately he called
"How She Won Him" 1t happened
here in Philadelphia, and is on this
wise
There was n beautiful diuncr given
"many years ago." and she sat oppo-
site him and looked ever so charming in
n wine colorcd silk with q square neck.
and otherwise arraycd as never were
the lilies In any valley of this poor
earth.
Well. the waiter in handing the soup
upset the entire contents Of q plate in
her l6r. just think of it, girls! Tho
whole front breadth utterly ruined, and
it could not be matched!
Well. what did she do? Did she faintP
Did she say: You horrid man. Did
she scream? Not at all she passed tho
thing of in some witty remark about
fiery baptism, and calmly resumed her
dinner.
He. of course, was delighted, thought
her most remarkable woman, and, in
deed, she was; became attentive to her,
and finally married her. One evening,
| long after the event. they we're sitting
| DClOrc Ine ire, inc Cnllufcn naNlnE gone
to bed, and were talking about old
times, when he said:
"My dear, Lncvcr told you, | think,
how first thought l would like to mar
ry you, did ?"
We We Fi%oS%s s%d Eo"EGH'sy G" go" rsmsm DSTS1
Der that dinner at Mrs. Simpkins' +,
where your dress was spoilt by tho
soup" >,
"Indced I don' sho replied. ~ shall
never forget it as long as live.
"Well," he continued, ''you behaved
so we'll about it that [ thought you a
perfect jewel"
Yes" she answered, IL remember
behaving very we'll about it at the time;
but, good land. you should have seen
the marks Of my teeth on tho bed. post
that night" IMfiadGiphtG Qidz.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

CHARLES PERRAULT, q French writer,
was the author of "Cinderella's Slipper"
story. At tho accession Of Francis III.
husband Of Mary Queen of Scots),
Paris was involved in continued broils
by tho struggles for precedoncy between
the confraternities of the drapers, the
MERGERS and the furriers, in which the
furriers finally triumphed. Two cent
uries ago furs were so rare, and there
fore 80 highly valued, that the wearing
of them was restricted by several sumpt-
uary laws 10 Kings and Princes. Sable,
in those laws called vair, was the subject
of countless regulations. The exact
quality permittedS be worn by persons
Of different grades, and the articles Of
dress to which it might be applied, were
defined most strictly. Perrault's tale Of
Cinderella originally marked the Dig
nifty conferred on her by the fairy, by
her wearing slipper Of vair, privilege
then confined to the. highest rank OF
Prinoesses. An error Of the press, now
become inveterate, changed vair into
verne, and the slipper Of sable was sud-
aealy converted infa glaga RlipYer'
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22
Money Ly Telephone.

Say, miss" said q rather handbook
ing customer to the young lady in charge
OF the central telephone Office, one day
last week, "say, miss, I'd like to talk
with Mr. Joseph Snooks moment"
The lady called Snooks and turned tho
instrument over to tho guest.
"Hello, hello Mr.. Snooks!"
Snooks answered, and i'll the ensuing
colloquy the lady could of course only
hear the hard looking customer.
"Snooks, old boy, L can't como up for
that money to-day; I'm too busy"
"Eh?"
'No, can't get away"
II know, but I'm sorry; I've got to
meet Brace about your affair"
''But I'd jcopardize all our interests.
[ positively can't como. Can you send
the money down?"
"Down here"
"I don't believe she'll do it, will she?''
''No, I don't know her. She's hand
some girl with blue eyes and light hair.
Know her?"
"T'll ask her about it. Wait, keep
your car there miss, Mr.. Snooks wants
to pay mo four dollars, and says for you
to let mo have the money. I'll ask again
to make sure. Snooks, did you mean
for this fine young lady to pay mo and
charge it to you?"
"Don't hear YOU"
eyes, yes, all right HE says, miss,
for you to take my receipts and let me
have the cash. You are to put it in his
telephone bill. All right, Snooks, good
by, SEQ you tomorrow, and he hung the
mouthpiece on the hook.
"Flne follow, Snooks," he continued,
looking pleasantly at the managrcss. 81
never heard of sending money by tclo-
phone before, did you?"
''No," responded the lady.
"P"rhops you haven't the change
handy?"
"lcs," said she.
'4ou'll trust Snooks, persumc," he
went on in a faltering manner.
"Ccrtainly," she replied, ''if he says to
let you have it"
"You don't think the telephone would
lie, do you?"
"Assuredly not I'll just ask Mr..
Snooks."
"No, no. He's q sensitive man; he
wouldn't like to have so much fuss over
small amount. Make it two dollars
and l will give him n receipt on nc
count"
"Ill pay anything Mr.. Snooks says
I'll call him."
"Rather than bother him again, I'll
make it dollar. Give me a dollar"
but perfer to call him."
"Miss,' said the man, "don't go nca
the wire now. There's n cloud c0mmins
up. You're going to be struck by light
ming. Rather than that, I'd tallo tift,
cents; quarter.
ooh! I'm not afraid" and sho ap
| preached the instrument.
"Keep away from that wire!" h
howled, "don't call Snooks. He NIGH
be struck. If you don't care for yourself
have some mercy on his falnily. You
needn't pay the amount ut all. | wouldn'
risk Snooks for all the money in Brook
lyn."
81 shall either call Snooks or a police
man, D." said the girl firmly.
"Make it policeman and I'll go fo
him myself" shouted the tramp, as II,
jumped over tho rail.
And then she called Snooks. who ha(
been swearing Mt his end of the wire il
the hope of making somo one hear him
and told him it was all right, she hadn'
quite paid the money.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

WHAT is claimed to be the largest pen
sion pald to one person in the United
States mas been settled in st. Louis
The pensioner was honorably discharged
from the army in 1864 on account of
injuries. and in four days thereafter he
became totally blind, and has Sc remain
ed ever since. His case has been pend
ing for sixteen years. The aggregate
sum accruing to date, and which he re-
ceived, was 80, ,069.47. He will hereafter
receive duling his life $72 per month.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

Hor cheeks a sentry in advance,
moon that makes tho darkness day2
Her stature is like any lance,
And like waving reed doth sway.
Her eyes are over wide awake,
Though dreamy as a fawn's TO see.
Tho moon Is blurred for her sweet sakeI-s.
The branch is dropping on tho tree. ~
The fawn before her flies for shame
Toward tho desert, far and wide;
No peer has she, and mono can claim
II bo regarded by her side.
Tho fawn that In tho glado doth STRAY
Ihe idol OF tho fano is shol
Thou who didSt bid me hope. pray
That may nc'er despair OF theei
To me, thou art 70 coy and cold;
To othcrs, ever kind and near.
Our quarrel like the wars Of old,
Doth lingcr on from year 10 year,
All that l" why thy young check glows
With yonder ruddy hue so fair,
AS though 1t wcro distant roso
Thou takest for . veil to wear.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

THE Emperor of Austro Hungary has
decorated Hon. Chari> Gibson, of St.
Louis, his counsel in the case against
Baron Won Bechtolsheim, late Austro,
Hungary consul at st. Louis, who en-
bezzled funds of his Office, as Knight
Commander of tho Order of Franz
Joseph. The order itself is as high as
any in the empire or in Europe.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

OnEoATARaARtRtB Is q word of recent
origin, ffon tho French oleine, Latin
oteun,i oil, the thin, oily part Of fat, and
from margarine, pearly-like substance,
extracted FROM vegetables, oils an animal
fats. The butter flavor comes from mix
ing milk, cream and unstable butter
with colored tallow and other unctuous
ingredients. The lard may come from
carloads OF dead hogs, or snet from cat
tie that may have died In overcrowded
cars, or animals that died Of disease. OF
even more questionable sources, like
some .%of the oil extracted from SOAP
eeso;eollections from the city, exported
to the West, whence comes the ladle,
Y1aekedshuSter,
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

Mr.. HOLMAN HUNT spent five years in
the Holy Land in painting "The Flight
into Egypt" and, when he had finished
it, found that the Syrian canvas, which
he had used, was too rotten to bear the
strain of travel. The picture fell to
pieces and was patched, but is now an
irretrievable ruin,
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

Nor a few of the thinking farmers OF
Illinois and the States adjoining, express
the conviction that he who would raise
cattle in the future without positive loss,
must raise those which viii at an carly
age deyelope into ripe, heavy animals
of good style and il every way suited to
the needs of tho best and most oxacting
markets. there and abroad.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

In some parts of Germany tho police
have lately had the new duty instructed
to them of prohibiting boys under six
teen from smoking in the streets OF
from entering alone establishments
where Intoxicating liquors are sold.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

The practicability of photographing
landscapes from the windows of trains
running at rate of forty miles an hour,
has been recently proved by DR.. Can
die, who uses what ne calls gyrograph
for the purpose. An exposure of only
one one-hundredth of second was
needed, and after a little practice Won
derfully distinct views were obtained.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

EDWIN FoRREsT's costumes and silver
ware. left by him to the Forest Homo,
Phlladelphia, are soon to be sold at pub
lilo auction. Among the costumes are
those worn by tho characters Of Coriola-
nus Lear, Tell and Spartacus, and tho
silverWare includes fifteen pieces besides
a dozen knives, four dozen forks, and
four dozen spoons.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

Ross, the shotgun messenger Of Wells,
FarR & Co.'s Express. who saved tho
treasure when the recent effort was made
to rob the east-bound express of the
Central Pacific, ia California, stands six
feet four in his stockings, and began
life as gambler. This is the fourth
timo that he has beaten off tho road
a0enka.
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

CAPT R. B. FORBES, of Boston, makes
the sensible suggestion that there is al
together too much signaling in naviga
tion rules, which leads 20 confusion. He
says con the ocean it is enough to indi-
cate northerly, southerly, easterly and
westerly. In narrow waters where many
steamers are apt to congregate the less
footing Ghe better"
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

Medicine was administered to sick
clergyman on Long Island by several of
his kindly disposed parishioners. In
stead of giving him pills and plasters,
they gave him some wood and coal, which
they put in the cellar. To this they
added somo money, which they pleas
antly placed in his hand as they shook
hands at his bedside. It was agreed by
all concerned that these remedies were
the best that could have been admins
tered to the suffering pastor. He is now
conValescent.--M Y Sun.
TEE only cool thmg which has been
seen ip town for the past week is the fel,
low who comes into the Office, smokes
some other fellows pipe, uses some other
fellows desk, and then asks if you arc
not going to say beer before no has to 60
rvR0St0n Globe,
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

THE Metropolitan Horse Gar Com
pany' OF Boston, has recently introduced
the registering clock for recording forea
Inc other day an elderly lady desired to
get OF The car. She rose energstically
nnd pulled the strap which rang in the
fares Before tho conductor could mako
The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-02-22

l"WHAr are you doing out there, nv
daughter, in the night dew?". said the
kindly olds;eantle on the piazza.
"PysSk kcing fSp cing," was the sweet
replyS aB she loaned over the pickets till
her faeS yes dseadfully close to VII,
Nem'S y '' -