National Republican., 1883-06-04
=. - 0'77N1 IIIV' 'IIIU W'IIIV VI HNII'
WASHINGTON, d. c., June1. -WS O.

Burmah for ~ each. And yet we send mission
aries to Burmah.
BENCH shows" remarks an exchange,
nave ceased to be novelties" Considering the
length of the star route trial, should say they
had, by large majority. .-BOston 7ranscrtpt
ALLIGATOR belts are very popular with tho
girls Just now but calf skin and broad cloth will
resume Its old time popularity when the even
ings grow little warmer Just II was last year.
A FENCE rail was blown right through the
body of u mule by the Mississippi cyclone. so tho
story goes. Even a cyclone has TO approach a
mule sideways to get the better OF him.-Lotpel
Cuifen.
No longer fingers winter in springs lap;
The swallows In the south have ceased to roam,
And, having wakened from his six months nap,
The festive fly begins To feel at home,
--New York Commercial rdvdttse.
You know the great dam that extends
across tho Mississippi river at Minneapolis, known
as tho falls of st. Anthony Well, Senator Bay
ard has sent for that and II Is surmised that he Is
writing speech about Carter Harrson,- --Ha,Okeye.
HENRY RUSSELL, tho author of "a Life on
the Ocean Wave" SO rapturously sung by all the
people who never 60 TO sea, is still alive hale and
hearty, in London. Aud yet, 1t seems to me
heard that song seven or eight thousand years
ago,-Burdeue
IT was pretty good idea that Of Rev. Mr..
Jordan, Of Fall River, who was preaching to tho
Grand Army last Sunday from the text: "If for
get thee, o, jerusalem" &c., when ho said, "0ur
Jerusalem is America" So 1t is. Let us not for
get it-.BOston Herald.
"YoU made little mistake in your an
nouncement yesterday, sir" "Very likely. 1t Is
almost impossible not to make n mistake some-
times. What was it2' "You said me aud Lizzie
Perkins were bothered, when we are not bothered
at ALL We are betrothed, SIR"
my face is my fortune, sir" Indignantly
responded aeshy young lady when her suitor
delicately attempted to sound her financial pros
pects, ut Is certainly large one, thcn," dryly
responded the young man, as he took his hat and
cane to leaye.-Detron Free Press
AND now doth the small boy knock
picket off tho fence to use for II bat aud when he
gets swift ball ON the end of it he lays 1t down
and rubs his hands against his Sides and looks
sadder than the before using portrait of an
anu.lean advertisement.-P,tck
IT is said by somebody that tho poltest
man in Des Moines is a gentleman who put u
telephone in at his homo few days ago, and
who has called the central Office up regularly
every night since he bid the operators "good
night" before retiring Post.
Mr. HEwIrr's grafton on the bridge was an
able effort. but to run him for the presidency on
the strength Of 1t, as some OF our exchanges arc
inclined to, Is carrying compliment so far us to be
ridiculous. II the bridge is to make anybody
president 1t should be Mrs. Roebling.
Times.
SOME old fellows, when once they got
started on "reminiscences" often make very ex-
traordinary statements. One of these aged liars,
who was telling of the early history of the me-
| tropolls. declared that he could remember the
time when the battery was considered up town"
In New York.
"LEAvEs have their time to fall " all ex-
cept tobacco leaves. Every time there is any
change in them they so up. The tobacconists are
now preparing TO advance the five cent cigar to
tho ten cent counter, on the plea that the sudden
removal of the tax let everything in the trade
bound up-BurItngton Hdlokeve.
In THE northern suburbs of the city of
Monterey is the beautiful hacienda of Bella
Vista, owned by Gen. Trevino, son -in-law of Gen.
Ord late Of the United States army. Gen. Tre-
vino lives in a cozy home in the edge of the city,
and Is better known In this country as the
author of the famous International baby.
LADIES handkerchiefs are embroidered
with notices suitable for the mood OF the day,
such as 4" 1 am cross, don't speak 10 me;' "Whot
lovely day:" ~ don't care for company" &c.
The men will follow suit with such emblems as
"I will pay you next week." "Don't care If
do 4" "Damhno;" LEND me q quarter;" "see
you later" &c.
Miss JENNY MARKS, of Baltimore, won q
sewing machine by making guess at the number
| of pills in bottle in a window There were 25,-
100 pills in the bottle and she guessed 25,l0o.
There were over 5000 guesses, and the worst ono
was q guess of 100000 The man who guessed
100000 was one OF those fellows who get their
education by reading gas meters.-0HCay Derrick.
THE venerable Lewis George Clark, the
George Harris of Mrs. Stoves "Uncle Toms
Cabin" attended the Kentucky republican con-
vention last week and made characteristic
speech. He likened the republican party to
bushel Of good beans with some bad ones, among
them, and the democratic party TO bushel OF bad
beans with some good ones among them, Now, OF
which bushel, he asked his colored brethren
would they make their soup?
MR.. BEEcHER, in his lecture on evolution,
speaks of the magnolia tree, leafess In winter,
with dead twigs. Mr. Beecher may be n Jumbo Of
intellect and a mastodon of research, but ho
doesn't know very much about the temperament
of the magnolia tree. The magnolia never sheds
its leaves until 1t tosseSup the sponge of the vego
table Kingdom. 1t is like the circuit rider, green
all the year. When once its leaves drop, the ax
Of decay is at Its root Mt Beecher is not TO blame
for this eccentriclty Of the magnolia tree. He has
made the natural mistake incident to ignorance
concerning the habits OF the plant and should not
be censured by the Academy OF Sciences. If he
had said that at early dawn the magnolia tucked
up its roots and danced a jig for the entertain
ment of the other shrubs, close observers every
where could accuse him of absurdity, not the out
growth of vegetable ignorance, but the offspring
OF disposition TO lie; but he did not say this and
consequently we are compelled to treat him with
due consideration n-ArkGnsatO Traveller.
TRAMP on being interviewed in New
Jersey about the ladness Of his guild, Indignantly
denied the imputation, and disclosed how he az
least tried to earn an honest living follows; "I
work. Look here" and he unstrapped little
satchel from his back, opened II, and showed a
graylsh pasty substance, prepared in small
squares, which he said was used by all the
crowned heads of Europe to remove grease spots
from their garments and mako them look equal 10
new. The farmers of West Jersey also bought
good deal of ii. 1t does not really remove grease
spots but good many people think 1t does. l dl-
rect them TO put little Of It on the place they
want cleaned and then rub hard with a wet nall
brush. OfcOurse, If the grease is not too old, or
has not penetrated too far, the rubbing with the
nail brush and the water would have taken It off,
or at least, reduced IT. but thoy attribute II all 10
the chalk. Then, evenwhen the grease spot is old
It disappears while Il Is wet, and the people
sometimes invite me to dinner under the impros.
haa ali oh