The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1883-05-17
EDITORIAL NEWS NOTES.

threatened with . new newspaper.
The Pittsburg Post sums up the Irish
situation In the following succinct
terms: dynamite will not save Ireland"
Aman without money wants to start
. brick yard st Ellsworth. We infer
that the newspaper fisld there must be
fully occupied.
The Topeka Commonwealth, which,
Il will readily be conceded Ii authority
on that question. says that Queen Victo-
ria IL . spirituAlist.
The lead which the Kansas City Times
struck when &c went prospecting In the
postoface ct Wyandotte will not be
called the Bonanza
Kansas City Times: A terrible tor
nado one day and people turned away
from circus tent for lack Of seating
capacity. Who's afFsids
Ths average snail boy Is now yeArn-
~ 20 compass ways and means 10 take
q ne impendisg eizcus and TO have
his feet turned out 70 pasture.
The most affective feature OF the Kan
Sas City cyclone-that is from . local
standpoEnt-was the damage caused by
the storm 90 Humps brewery.
Ben Butler and John Kelley is the
latest political combination for 1884.
The architect of that ticket should be
placed under bonds to keep the peace.
It would plainly cOnduce to the moral
and physical integrity Of the people Of
Kansas City, If there were few less
gin mills and more adobe houses in that
town.
A graveyard insurance company in
Kansas entertalns about the same regard
Cor the Lesvenworth Times thaG an
Ohio cadAver does for q Cincinnati med
icai student.
The KAneas editors spent the Sabbath
in Santa Fe. For the sanctity Of that
holy day we are rejoiced TO know that
there are no jack rabbits in the vicinity
Of that place.
The AtchIson and st. Joe papers find
intensely agreeable and cOngenial en-
ployment in prOmulgatiug the theory
that Kansas City Is located directly in
the cyclone belt.
The most noteworthy phase Of the
Dunkard conclaVe at Lawrence 10 the
fact that it has not, up TO this writing,
resulted In the establishment Of . new
daily paper in that city.
II claimed that Preacher Harris, Of
the OlAthO bank, who failed last week
for over te0. 900. was addicted to poker.
A man who plays bluff and other peo-
pies money are soon parted.
It Il said that going to bed early will
improve the complexion. Blu the I'm
practicable feature Of this prescription is
that the very girls who wish to secure its
benefits have regular beaux.
Atchison has . poetess who has vol
umS OF poems now in press. She Is q
married lady, and her husband wears
celluloid shirt collars and fastens his
suspendsrs with shingie nails.
Commonwealth: A furious. cyclone
struck Santa Fe Saturday afternoon, and
after making dash At some OF the
adobe buildings OF that ancient town be-
came dIsgusted and pulled out for the
east.
The Kansas editors were given . hop
ct the MontezumA hotel ut Las Vegas
on Saturday night. We learn that the
skIllful execution Of the Newport by
Father Baker excited enthusiastic and
unanimous admiration.
The Las Vegas Gazette says that the
Kansas editors declined 70 accept CON-
plimentary COLLATION. at the Plaza hotel
ct that place. The policy Of prohibition
has pretty effectually eradicated the free
lunch idea in this state.
A southwestern Kansas editor has dis
covered Q snake that is "as white IS
snow" The culpability Of the last leg
islAture in failing TO create the ONCE Of
state inspector Of liquors is becoming
more manifest every day.
Porkopolis IL rep0sing mAjestieally
after the arduous labors Of its dramatic
festival. Nothing seems to irritAte the
Cincinnati papers quite so much as to
hear some one remark that Il wasn't
much of show after all.
II q woman lawyer il not allowed to
ding glass of water into the face Of the
court how Is she to give vent to her
bubbling indignation. The lords Of Gre
alton enjoy monopoly of cuspidores As
instruments of personal redress.
Miss Estella Riddle. of Atchison,
came within four Of guessing the num-
Der Of beans In globe containing Al
7S3. We should now like to see Miss
Riddle risk her powers Of approxima-
ti0n on the verdict of the next petit jury
that 10 impaneled In Atchison county.
4 Cincinnati man. who, . few years
ago was driving . charcoal wagon for q
living, IL new worth half . million Of
dollars and lives In palatial style in q
brown stone front. We occasionally
hear Of An isolated case of . man grow
Ing up with the country without CON-
ing west.
A male infant was found on the door
step Of Cardinal McClOskey the other
night, having been deposited there In
the evident hope that It would receive
the kindest care. The highly sensational
feature of this item is found in the fact
that the Cardinal 10 not . resident oil
Brooklyn.
Troy Chief: The small pox 10 raging
ct Lawrence, and the students Of the
university are lighting out IN conse
QuencS. The tree trade poison admin
istsred by Prof. Garfield is . Thousand
0lmes worse than smallpox. Yet stu
dsnts are permitted TO remain and b,
polSoAeo.
An emIgrSnt, the father Of thirteel
children, ali OF whom were with him
was interviewed at Stockton the olhe
day and informed his inlerrogator tina
he had moved west for the benefit of hi
health. We certainly think the circum
stances fully justify him In seekinE
change Of climate.
Major Tom Anderson says that the n
my reunion held 81 Topeka last yea
cost the citizens Of that place g. 200, an,
that those attending It left fully $500 90
In the town. That is a fairly comforts
BILE margin. and We suggest that EN-
poria file her application for the mex
reunion without delay.
A Iowa chemist RECENTLY diacovero,
an explosive believed to be nineieel
dimes as powerful as dynamite. but. &C
cording to the truthful scientist Of tn
Boston Post, the secret Ut its compost
sIOn was lost at the time of It's dIscov
cry. together with the chemist and mos
Of the glass in the town.
The intelligence ia waited hack 4,