davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08
A COX rUsING RUN ON THE RAIL.

DOOhfcker's Experiences as a Loco
motive Engineer suffer Disfgura-
tiOn from TheOphiius' Calculations.
Chicago Herald.
Was l ever in San FranciscoW said boo
flicker, in response to Theophilus' question
Was IL Well, I've been there more timea
than you've got hairs on your head"
Well, say, paw, did you ever count the
trains you met on the road between Omaha
and San Franciscan
"Of course have, Theophilus; | used to
run an engine from Omaha to Frisco"
Then maybe you can help me out on this
lesson"
Theophilus laid aside his slate and said his
teacher had given him this problem to solve;
Suppose there is one train each way every
day-one train leaves Omaha each noon. and
one leaves San Francisco each noon. 1t takes
five days to make the trip. How many trains
does each train meets
':Pshaw, Theophilus, Tn ashamed of you
You ought to solve SO simple problem in g
twinkGng. If I had never run train on
that road l would know how many trains
any one of them would meet. OF course if il
took five days to go from Omaha to San
Francisco, and there was only one train a
Udy jCdNluS Dan rIuuClSCO III Nlluhh' a.
stands to reason that the westward bound
train would meet five trains coming east"
"But then, paw, can't figure it that way
/ make it ten"
"You can't? Well, you're a stupid dolt,
Theophilus If it wasn't as plain as the nose
on your face could prove it by my own ex-
perience. Now it used to take us just five
days and one hour to make the run from
Omaha to San Francisco, and there was one
train a day each way. When l was half an
hour out of Omaha. l used to meet Bill
Shef1ields train Then the next day met
Bob Sankey's, the next Jack Moseley's, the
next Jim Bakers, and the next. just before
got to Frisco, Dan Hackney's That's every
train met-just five you see."
'But, paw, just as you left Omaha you met
the train that left San Francisco five days
before didn't your
Eyes, Of course"
swell, when you had gone half the dis
lance, hadn't you met the five trains that left
San Francisco before you left Omahas What
became of the other five that left San Fran
cisco while you were on the roadP'
Doofiicker thought he heard the telephone
bell ring, and went in to see what was
wanted.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08
Stretchy Religion.

Detroit Free Press.
An old couple, man and wife, were along
the wharves day or two ago hunting for an
up-shore boat, and the woman explained to q
steamboat agent
slt's very stormy season and we expect
20 be seasick, and we druther go on boat
where the captain is a religious man."
"Well, that's all right" he replied "We've
got one very religious captain on our line
and his boat sails tonight"
''Can we go down and see him"
"Oh, yes. Keepright down the street until
you see the boat"
The couple walked on and finally boarded
the steamer. The captain and all hands were
busy with the cargo, but the old folks walked
up to him and the woman said:
"Capting, you have been recommended to
us as religious man"
"The - have!" he promptly growled.
They looked at each other with CONSERVATION
depicted in their faces and then the old man
said:
"Capting, what church do you belong
tog'
"See herer' roared the official, elf you've
come to bleed me for some charity, or want
me to sign a petition, or expect this boat tc
carry lot of dead-heads up the lake, won't
stand it! What do you wants Out with it,
now, and no Internal chawing around, Pm
blanked if amt bothered by more dashed
lunatics than other blanked men on the
dashed lakesI'
Man and wife retired to consult, and after
getting ten feet away the woman said:
"Henry, he's not religious man"
"Well, dunno"
"But he swears like pirate"
eyes, Maria, but you see this is out west,
We don't swear and belong to the church,
too, up in New Hampshire, but they may do
differently out here. He swears, but he looks
like man to depend upon in a storm"
"Shan't we look for another?"
81 guess not, Maria. guess the religions
out here in Michigan are kind o stretchy,
and they low swearing on steamboats, and
around the depots. Wen go by this boat,
and if he don't swear any harder than he did
to us, mebbe Providence viii let him squeeze
through on the up trip and sink him when he
comes DOWN."
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08

Economy is wealth." but the Ora
phie thinks you stop to pick up every
rusty nail on the sidewalk yau may
lose time more valuable for other pur-
poses. If you buy the cheapest food
you may buy the poorest, and fit of
indigestion from a musty egg Or an
attack of collie from stale or half rotten
fruit may cost much more in time by
the doctors bill and the pain endured
than if you had bought the fresher eggs
and fruit. Indeed, economy does not
mean the meanest or the cheapest no
more than it does extravaganza or
waste
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08

Commenting on the rumor started
by the Hastings Gazette that Gov.
Hubbard contemplates calling an ex-
ira session of the Legislature, the St.
Cloud Journal-Press accurately voices
public sentiment by saying.
Tt is to be hoped that Gov. Hubbard
will be advised by his own good sense
and make no call for an extra session
of the Legislature. There is no need
for it, and as the State revenue fund is
already overdrawn more than 5000, 900,
the only result of an extra session
would be to make the deficiency
still greater.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08

The Northwestern Miller says:
"As the secular press of Minneapolis
and st. Paul seems inclined to suppress
the name IF Gen. Washbuurn's sue
cessor, the Northwestern Miller comes
to the front with the confident predic-
ton that 1t will be either Hon. Lorin
Fletcher or Hon. Charles A. Pillsbury.
The former will have the backing of
Senator Sabin and the Minnesota
Tribune for a certainty. But Wash
burn may be his own successor.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08

Rural Record: Those who grow
oats sometimes claim that they draw
more from the soil than wheat, but
one who has givea the matter atten-
ton states that where he has known
an average crop of corn to take rs
pounds of nitrogen; wheat, SO; oats
took only 80, and of potash and phos-
porte acid, oats took less than either
corn or wheat, He thinks however,
that oats derive less from the atmos-
phere than other crops, receiving their
nourishmeht from the soil alone; and
while he knows that this crop requires
less of nitrogen, potash, and phospho-
rio acid than wheat or corn, yet for
some unaccountaOle reason it seems
to be harder on soils than the others.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08

Minnesota Tribune: The chances
are that Chicago will be chosen for
the holding OF both the Republican
and Democratic conventions. Well,
Chicago will do. 1t is not so far from
being reasonably central place, and
it has sufficient hotel accommodations
and Geographic facilities. The Demo
Gratis would feel quite at home in
Mayor Carriers wicked city, and the
Republicans are so safe in their integ-
rity and uprightness that even Chicago
can not contaminate them. Let it be
Chicago.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08
= : 49, ~ Is :
Pugilistie Mobility,

New YOrk Sun
Lord Beresford is small in stature, care
less, easy-going fellow, with good face and
bright eyes. He is brother of the marquis
of Waterford, and belongs to family OF
fighters William, the son selected for the
army service, would sooner scuffle than eat.
It is nothing to hear that one Of the Beres-
fords has broken a bone Charles William
de IL Poer Beresford, the naval commanded,
is favcrite of the prince Of Wales, because
he is zone of the boys William Beresford
is said to like nothing better than to prowl
about of an evening with some other mill
tary officer, putting their caps in their pock-
cts, turn up their collars, enter saloon, and
Engage, unrecognizei, in a rough-and-tumble
eight with priyateS
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08

The Daily News says: IL Is UNDER
stood that a Shanghai firm holding
silk to the value of one million pounds
sterling has retired from business. 1t
is stated the firm has been gradually
liquidating. More stoppages in bust
ness houses Of Shanghai are expected
as the Chinese banks reSolutely refuse
to lend money until the war clouds
have been dispersed.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08

When eX-Judge George NJ. Curtis,ot
New YORK, was asked to conduct the
prosecution OF young Mutt, who shot
Dukes, the betrayer of his sister and
slayer of his father, he replied that he
'swouldn't help to prosecute the boy,
for he would have done the same ilin-
Salf
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08
Eot q Geoa season.
Detroit Free Press.

UetrOH Free FreSS.
II tell you it's been powerful close sea-
son in Michigan this summer" said the
tramp as he fished in his pocket for another
green apple why, last summer kept my
self dressed like gentleman by stealing
the scare-crows from the corn-fields, but this
year the farmers rip pair of pants in two
aud make the two ragged legs do duty over a
whole forty aeresLn
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08

Chicago News: Randall is poor
man: You know what the railway
superintendent said about his prefer
ence for passenger conductors who
were already rich enough.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08

The Minneapolis Millers continue to
cry "frozen wheat" The amount OF
wheat through the Northwest injured
by frost is practically nothing but Of
course the MiilerS must have an excuse
for stealing grade or two on a few
hundred thousand bushels.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08

Sullivan the siugger, offers to bet
that he can knock an OK down with his
bare fist with one blow. The OK is an
unoffending creature and Sullivan
ought to let him alone.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08

1t is thought that James Dukes who
shot the betrayef OF his sister and the
murderer of his father will be ac-
Quilted. He ought to be.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08

The ruins ofan ancient Roman city
have been discovered near the Gulf
Gabes, in Tunis, by Lieut., Magsenat.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08
Sllopoio Spi6tt,e.
Duluth has l,l16 school children.

More interest is taken in Secretary
Folger's report than in The Presidents
message.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08

Minnesota Tribune: A defect has
been discovered in the dime novel. Re-
cent experiences ofvarious small boys
has demonstrated the fact that while
the dime novel is eminently useful in
getting the romantic young person in
to q scrape, il leaves him thereafter
ly fails to get him out of the trouble.
This is to be regretted. It will have
a tendency to induce the small boy to
look upon his long loved book with
suspicion. He may even go SO far as
to refuse to buy it and neglect to read
-
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-12-08
- --7---s'. 20
Hardly Eroueh For 7,wo.

What are you laughing al, my dearf'
asked Mrs. Jones OF her husband, who was
cbuckling over his morning paper. Some.
thing saw here he replied, ''but it's hardly
funny enough for two.n
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06
THE GcOrwCt own EN0Hij.cj. saws.

The Georgetown EHquirrr and the Or
nngchur& 7I'ac% 6n0 NcmOrr0t are growing
excited over the tariT GScuSSion Peace,
gentlemen, YOU certainly can "a@rrc TO dis
agree. - |iinHSb0ro NCto& 0H0 Krwi0.
we are glad to say TO our praccnakinn
friend that the hclli%"rrniS, CT rather o..c
OF them, buried the hatc!!rt last wcrk. The
first step towards an armisticc was taken
by the H"2NIrtr, which perceived that il
had done lis opponent an injustice and
frankly acknowledged tnc error into which
IL had been betrayed. We are now quietly
awaiting suitable acknowledgment fl,n,
our oranGeburG contemporary, and we
have II" doubt that il Will be both graceful
and sincere.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06

MIR. BLACKBURN, in his letter an
bouncing his withdrawal from tho con-
test for the Spcakerslip, writes that in
his Judgment s:to defeat the macl,ina-
tons of the protcctionists and secure
the election ofa Speaker who will re-
fleet the true Democratic theory Of u
tariff fer revenue only, it will be nee
cssary to concentrate, rather than by
havin" too many candidates rcprescnt-
Ing similar views, TO promote the
chances Of the common foe. Bv nv
Withdrawal Kentucky will be united
III the .igt.I, and shall use ali NV en-
cr@ics TO help the success Of that c,,n-
dida'e who, presenting the true rri.l~
ciplcS Of tari!r reform, shall show. the
best prospect Of defeating Mr.. RAN
dall.' Upon his withdrawal the New
York Uc'Wid has this to say: "IIow
!ar MIR. :fanGaifs friends have counted
upon divisions in the ranks Of the
Democratic tariff rctormcrs to secure
his success we dn not know. Eut we
suspect the tariff rcformcrs will know
how to concentrate their forces when
Congress assemblies, and Mr.. Black-
burns withdrawal Is, ~ tl,ut conncc-
ton, an event of some Importance.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06

SOCRATES called beauty short lived
tyranny; Plato, a privilege OF nature;
Ihcophrastus, a silent cheat; Thcocri-
1uS, delightful prejudice; Carncadcs, :,
solitary Kingdoms; Domitiar said
that nothing was more grateful {;
Aristotle affirmed that beauty was
better than all the letters Of rccommcn-
dation in the world; Homer, that il
was a glorious gift Of nature, and
ovid, alluhin& to it, calls it favor
bestowed by the gods. Are they all
right? IL certainly seems so, and how
strange! II is at once with Homer a
"slorious gift OF nature, and with
Socrates "a short lived tyranuy.' What
say those who arc entitled to speak
and with authority?
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06

TIE case ofThomas Shields, for The
murder Of Joseph G.. Sitton in Meek
lenburg county, North Carolina, somo
time since, was called up in the Su.
pcrior Court in Charlotte last Friday,
the 31st uIt., and on motion Of counsel
was set for trial to-day. The counsel
for the defendant moved the Court for
change of venue, submitting afila-
Wits to the effect that fair trial could
not be had in Charlotte, on account OF
the newspaper accounts Of the homi-
eide, and the hcaring of the haJcos
corpus case Of the father of tho de-
1end"nt. After hearing argument
both for the State and the defence,
Jud &c Gilmcr decided to try The case
III Charlotte and at ;hc present term of
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06

TIE Charlotte JOnrnW- Observer
says: "rhc Southern Telegraph Com
pany has commenced putin" up their
call-bcll system, and have already con-
ncctcd twelve or fifteen Of the princi-
pal business houses with their Office.
The circuit will be completed by the
middle Of this week, and will prove II
great convenience to the business
men,"
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06

WE take pleasure in acknowledges"
the receipt Of a copy Of the "Standurti
Schcdulc,o Of just and Reasonable Pas
scnger and Freight Rates aud Cla>sii-
cation" The schedule is nicely got
ten up, and ii evidences much labor
and skill on the part of the Commits
sioncrs. We predict that it will give
general relief to the people,
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06
4 WORD IN SEASON !

HAVE NOTIFIED TIE FARMERS
Of Fairfield to bring in their Old GINS
;or repairs. But they are not doing SO,
ana am not able to disappoint rurchas-
"r of a new gm"fur The repairing Of an old
one 80 parties nrrd not bring their gins
in iuSt when they need them ana expect TO
stake them out in my wagon" or "gct
them saturday when the wagon comes in. :"
want 10 do al! The work I can I hone
Tie GIN MEN won't CROWD rs in
SEPTEMBER Just wien they want their
GIN.
J. W. EITFOY'Y', SIR.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06

IlIE Frccth,nkcrs assembled in con-
vcntion at Rochester, New York, by :,
rising vote, thanked the New York
Ueruld for giving to Tic public .ha
proceedings Of III" meeting. The Soc
rctary was SO apprccialivc &nd gratc-
1nl os to say that the XcyUll "is manly
and true enough TO give thn news OF
Whatever shade Of opinion il mi.ht be-"
Ihis IS all true, but any other great
and cmcrpriSing newspaper would
have done likewise, and we can see no
necessity fHr special thanks. However,
the FrccthinEcrs have II right to Lc
grateful whenever fho sririt moves
them, and VIC wont complain.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06
"a EsEs HIT>S.

CarpctR and House Furnishing Goods Tho
Largest stock South of Baltimore. NIouuct
urisscls, 3-Ply and Ingram Carpets, Rugs,
nInts aud Crumb Cloths, Window Shades,
wall Papers, BORDERS, Lace Curtains, Cor
niccs nnd Poles, Cocoon 81 Canton Mattings,
Hpholstcry, Engravings, Chromos, Picture
GEORGE a, HAILiE anGITsrX n.
Juno 3U-tSly '
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06

SoIIClroR II. {. GAsToE, 6l Chester,
has given an opinion that whislicy
shipped G. O. ID. is sold by The cx-
press company At the place Of delivery
and much excitement has been aroused
in 1orkvillc and Chester, both dry
towns, in which great quantities have
been delivered in that manner. 1t was
rumorcd that the agcn; at NorNvi!lv
had been arrested for the otlrusc.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06

MARY ANDERSON has made her lcbut
in London, and the general verdict is
"phcnomcnnl success" Shc appeared
in ''Ingomar.."
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06

IT is said Tint tho local option laws
in Canada have reduced the consump.
ton OF spirits from 5,oOo,ou0 gallons
annually to 1,25G,00O.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06
WGJ ARNHKo SEEHp

IULY is tho best month to SOW Ruta
e. S1o., Baga Inrnip Seed in. We have q
Dutch, Pomcranian Globe, Norfolk, Seven
Sop, Yellow Aberdeen, Amber Globe and
Toldcn l'all. ,,~ "
,McMASTER, BR1CE & KETCnIN.
.Iniy H.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06

Nh. j. liza HALL, young mnn @:
Rock Till, died at his home in that
place on Monday, the 3rd inst, fro,,
the effects Of an overdose OF morphine,
administered by himself. |; j. lot
definitely known whether or not il is u
case Of suicide, but strong suspicious
arc entertained in THAT direction. |;
seems tEat the unfortunate Young man
had previously made threats OF com
uniting suicide, but 10 cause for the
strange conduct is known. lie leaves
a Young widow to whom !.c had been
married scarcely n year.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06
HENRY BOYKIN.

MESsRS. II. j. MCCARTNEY & CO.-Gcnts:
The iity-saw Daniel Pratt Revolving
Head Gin and Feeder l purchased from
You the first OF last August, far cxcels any
thing that have ever seen. / have never
trcn better pleased with the working of
any machinery. 1t runs lighter than any
other gin, makes a better sample and the
arrangement of the breast is so you can
gin the seed as clean as one, would desire
The Feeder works like charm, feeding
regularly, fast or slow, as you please, there
by cSscning the draught. Ny gin was
burnt last fall. ] shall buy another Pratt
next season.
Yours, &C., .;
G.. X. RABB
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06

the court. Lawyers of cmincnco have
been employed on both sides, and the
case will excite much general interest.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06
}. TT. CUMMINGS.

The UNION CIl,'!;N is sold on its
rrr!S. | can rrirr to Il dozen parties
Il. iIi% il in this vicinity. II is net Il new
lining, but has stood the test since lSjl.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06

We want to tell you something about this
ne" sewing Machine, and we will offer it
to you in nutshell. TO the point:
There is no under feed.
ii has fewer working parts than onv
other Machine.
The old method of feeding below is en-
tirciy done away, and all the complicated
connecting machinery dispensed with in
This new Machine.
IL is the easiest running, because it has
the least number Of parts to move, and,
consequently, there 10 less friction and
wear. -. ''
and tempered hard
steel rolls and pivots are used for bear
mgs, TO prevent friction and insure LIGHT
ness Of running. ...
All the work Oh this Machine is of the
highest grade, and will compare favorably.
with the workmanship Of a Winchester
rifle.
1t is perfect model of neatncss.
1T Is modern idea throughout.
The mechanics are enthusiastic ..:-.!
The crankS and old fOgics astonished.
The ladies delighted.
Elegant styles of woodwork are made OK
pressly for this "NEw HIaI Arm DAVIS"
Ladies, come and sec It,
IaiiorS, come and see it. =
Experts, come and sec It.
NlGchancS, come and see It,
Everybody, come and see 1t.
AND LEARN WHAT IT WILL DO.
: ,;I;wenty-five more Of these Machines just
j. o. BOAG.
g.. Machines delivered at your homes and
every Machine sold. Over 45O of these
Machines now in use in this county, and
giving universal satisfaction after iiyc
years trial. NV
Send IN your orders for y NEW HIGH
ARM DAVIS.
30. BOAG.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06
Il A x f. NOTICE !

EvlT Your Wagon Alatcri7', SPOEES,
Kt':' and HUBS, SHAFTS, POLES
WAGNN%, GMrrEHlE&, MACHINE
~, El:iND$!GN TRACES, WELL-
N1it,N%, and all kinds Of Plantation
GHutlS,
tNnN STOVES, HEATING; STOVES
trnin - Too To &10.n0, complete,
Ol'. STOVES, WOODENW ARE, ETC,
FruH
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06

MESSRs. H. j. MCCARTNEY & Co.-Gcnts:
| am well pleased with the Van Wrinkle
E'h' Feeder and Condenser bought from
you. IL is all that YOU represented it to
be- 1t makes the best sample ever saw,
ana turns out good yield. | recommend
il to all who wish to buy to be sure to PR
chase IT," Van WinkIc Gin,
Wishing you abundant success, I am
yours, &c,
HENRY BOYKIN.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06
T.. {. - }
v ( \-}
e. Z E? r: r. H>1nnca g. "z - Sa77
IN u@44u I'd - { u &yy.Aa !. !

we nave new received + stock 0C
Hf';'N,' HDNiS, and nilvr thr.n r"ady
for
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-09-06
FARM MACHINERY !
BELOW WE GIVE n FEW TESTIMONIALS.

'T'FV" WE NIN T. FEW TESTIMONIALS,
N'ESSEa. +. j. MCCARTNEY & CO.--The
frirk Eclipse En%inrS we BOUGHT from YOU
Hast .an have given entire satisfaction, and
W" take pleasure in saying that we think
the Eclipse Engine has no superior as a
arm engine 1t takes less wood and
water to run it than most engines, and has
all thr power that is guaranteed. We
chrrrInily recommend it to any parties
wishing to buy an engine, rs the best in the
market.