Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1883-07-05
PLEASANTRlES.

concur.
ROBERT BUCHANAN has produced a
drama called "Storm Beaten" He
should dedicate it to Wiggins. o.
Pic.
BEFORE you criticise a neighbor for
keeping dog, consider how difficult it
is to lose one when you want to lose
him.
The aisle of the church is not the
proper place for a sexton with squeaky
boots. He should try some other kind
of ''ile."
"YEs," said the farmer, "barbed-wire
fence is expensive, but the hired man
doesn't stop to rest eyerytime he has to
climb it.
THE king of Italy has been presented
with q valuable horse. His name is
"Damascus. A poor name for horse,
but tirst-rate one for donkey.
ton Star.
"NEvER engage i'll anything you
would not open with prayer" says an
orthodox divine. We suppose special
reference is had to "jack pots. "-Onea-
ha Repu5.
A New York divorce lawyers adver-
tisement reads: "Hymeneal incompat-
Utilities, as specially, carefully ad-
iusted. 'Tis slavery to detain the hand
after the heart hath fed
TWICE in her life Maine woman has
been struck by lightning and she is alive
| yet. Her husband was struck once with
poker, and monument marks his
place of sojourn. Syracuse Herald.
A YOUNG lady being told at recent
| fire to stand back or else the hose would
| be turned on her, replied, g Oh, don't
care, they are striped on both sides,
any way. y Columbia Spectator.
ART Americana: Mrs. Malaprop-"So
you arc going to Paris to study art, are
you? That will be nice. When you
come back you can take all our pho
tographs, can't you ?"-Haruard Lam.
poor.
THE time O. day: A Syracuse young
lady has a peculiar mode of reckoning
time on Sunday. Last Sunday evening
about six O'Clock, when asked what time
it was, she replied: Give minutes of
Smith. !"
A SOLUTION. Visitor Frequent, sci
entltic young man, he was now trying to
explain the philosophy of positivism)-
81 admit the question is abstruse and
compile" She-"Why not snon )
it?'-London Punch. rop
Tup MON Who lac ni,o ,,,,a
oo,ntr, @ a ;s 70 NV ha s = ntee ~ iaGe ~ the
though he has to send to the city for all
his fresh vegetables, he can go lie on
the grass and let the bugs bite him.
fhiladetphia Chronicle Herald.
aTwnS TvnSN rlaasa ,h a eIoe slore: % Mhae SIZE
work "Do Won want = na;r of - ohnns an =
miss or only one9" "a n5;r M ofao,,rs" - nnoes; J,
uAh, veg zoo. +v;nd r. p'u, tn,o =. oou.so. ss
John, stretch a pair Of No oaiters 81 !"
Dprp, crrox Tbaonnu1sa, ,.o,
amt did xn,, obseryo o" ,rbat ~ hoSIn' an
made M Jress " Me- I'pr Pron m1"I "a a oauiy ~
Amt (whn c,,nIim,t ~ ii,"t lac VI
an ;N "ab tbat.s bon' :. .n': sonl7 st,
so VOL daor We, :, rasS, Sas - D!I n.11u
o",''" = "''c"'
% Io1 oniStA'G M s!ii mes iiefseii TO oe
aa,,a5 an anee'. M lnls Illusion VIII be dis
| There must necpssor;ly he = +ransn,;., :;
tion Of soies before Sb;oaao ~ ~ "s ;r' aa.,
Hntter lika soranL Us 6;.i a. sa,i
Picou,,nr "" 0''e'''eS
+,,st SAEA di,, nEhNhAhpI DEL va says IN her book
We Wa sme "i's s, noI very Pte'.y as gTl:
Sara ot tb;rteen ronrs M os 80 90 ,niasile 'liae
looked M snmeth;Sa Ill "'I FL " "ee 70 hlsnt nave
iooheu solietilne nke the afternoon
Orleans Picayune. ~
Orp ostoomoa Loo,
the Times had an ed;+os;ni IenLo aptna1 Loia5y
morning boo5od eWLot 90, Jss.ei.'ly
to drink p" Wien yom nav ara an ar;nI;n MI have :,
with Ms b,othar .N vnu Juu oam a,o ,,. urlnE.ng
what vn1 call for if tha ona,i, n",e lusI
If in stock -To,neU G;t;-app apo'iie'ary mas
srn,xorn r,;,h ] Iosas c.": 80,
have N1NGAh, Non ,,"iana sI.n large 1ami'y-" say,
Fresh hotel clerk-"Yes sir. .oI,asn ves sir
We have everything for the comfort Of
Il Landlord takes him one: side or
of course. we haven't malor;a r;sb, born Wn,
in this hotel. but in the hotel on,,nsito ioA1 :,
RACES terribly" Clerk wonders pjr,'t whn tho -,
stranger hurriedlv leaves tLa ,escr+ 'no
Hartford Post.
AT the Terrace hattie 10 =
impatient yonne rnnn wai,od iss 1unaay u an
door of one of the compartments and
knocking on the same, testify inouired. !.
. When in blazes are you goinn to cot
those trousers on" There was a faint
glggIe and silvery voice replied !:
When get marrie}, / suppose ?" He
had mistaken the door; that's all.-.San
francisco Post
A LADY stood patiently before Tho -
ceiving tcller's window in a bank 0 the le
other day, but no one took ony no,;ao @
of her till she attracted the attention of
the money taker bv tann;nn ',I,ol ,.;.I, A VI
parasol on the glass. "Why don't Won
pay attention to me ?" she said petu-
lantly. I'm sorry ma'am, but We don't
pay anything here. Next window,
please was the polite response"
The first quarrel: Philip Foov Jr
(who had refused, after proloneed Dis
cussiop, to get gaudy raiment and take
his wife to the Derblune's fancy balD
morosely: 81 wish 1 had married 4
sensible woman" His recently-ac.
quired spouse ito whom the said hall ;v