The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-12
A KIssER FROM KIssvILLE.
The Ven cradle Commander-in- Chief and the
Pretty Actress.

The Ven cradle COMMUNICATIVE Chief and the
Pretty Actress.
San Francisco Post.
The return of Miss Alice Harrison to the
city recalls an incident of her career when a
member OF the famous California company
OF four or five years ago, which may still
provoke a smile from those who witnessed
the occurrence in question. About the time
of Miss H.'s farewell benefit at that theater
General Sherman was visiting the city, and,
with his staff, occupied box at said per-
formance. Now, whatever difference of
opinion may exist as to the military renown
OF the general of our armies, there is no dis
pute as to his being the champion kisser OF
the continent. In fact, the hero of Atlanta
may be said to possess mania for labial sal
utations of fatherly sort, and is known
to frequently indulge in the proud boast
that be has kissed 80 per cent, OF all
the pretty girls in the United States. His
chief OF staff once computed the Generals
monthly kissing average, taken by and large
all the year round, dry and wet seasons in
cluded, at about 1,S06, or, say, in round
numbers, about % 900 kisses per each kissing
fiscal year. If the General had only added
babies to the list of his subjects he would
have kissed his way into the White House
years ago; but his reluctance to waste Valu-
able time and raw material in the pursuit of
his hobby induces him, with the true in
stincts of veteran professor of OSCILLATION,
to select only the prettiest OF the sex for that
honor.
At the benefit referred to- no sooner did
Miss Harrison appear on the stage than the
old war-horse snIffed the battle from afar
and began to grow restless and uneasy. The
staff winked at each other, and soon their
chief suggested the propriety of going be-
hind the scenes to compliment the benei-
ciary.
We must now ask our readers to accom-
pany us to the little Danish settlement of
Eericvland, on the borders of the Baltic, in
the year 1881. A village festival is being
held, and as usual the distinguished visitors
gather to salute the girl who has taken the
annual prize for cooking and virtue. There
is young American officer among the num-
Der, who, instead of printing the customary
chaSte salute upon the cheek of the village
celebrity, folds her in his sky-blue arms and
settles down on her frontispiece like a hy-
draulie pump on an assessment list The
minutes fly by, and Just as the spectators
are about drawing their stop-watches on the
last quarter the young officer comes to the
surface again. As he RECEIVERS his exhausted
wind the weather-beaten captain of a wreck
ing crew approaches and says:
Young man, FL give you your own price
to ship with me as a diver"
And why?"
Because you can hold your breath longer
than any man in the business"
We merely relate this little incident to
emphasize our story. The kisser was young
Tecumseh. But to resume. AS soon as the
staff was behind the scenes General Sherman
pitched in with the remark that he hadn't
kissed anything since breakfast He was
standing in the middle of the stage, with his
back to the curtain, and absorbed in bestow-
ing paternal kiss upon Alice, and feeling
like just-admitted angel sliding down a
buttered rainbow, when that impish young
lady saw that the prompter was
about to ring up the drop" Quickly
placing her hands over the Generals
ears so he could not hear the bell, she backed
him against the curtain. As everyone knows
this is wound around huge wooden roller
on the inside of the canvas The Generals
coat tails were canght by this as the curtain
went up, and before the prompter could re-
verse the motion the astounded man was sus-
pended about ten feet from the stage like a
sheet from clothes-line
The audience went off into Mysteries of
merriment while the members of the staff
lay down on the floor of their box and abso-
lutely howled, for they only knew that those
convulsivey elutching legs and venerable
CATERS belonged to the commander-in-chief
of all our armies. But the first thing we
know the Generals coat tails will give way,
so we will ring down the curtain,