The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1883-05-18
1OL~ II, NO II. LODGE, MONT ANA, 1888
WHY WE LAUGH.
In the absence Of flowers, the May Queen
was crowned this year with fur cap and ear

In the absence Of flowers, the May Queer
was crowned this year with fur cap and ca
muffs. -
A man In Richmaad wound up an eight
day clock every night for thirteen straigh
years. And when he found out his mistake
he gave the clock to his children.
sin case am recalled" announced
| young vocalist to q western audience, H
shall sing MY Grandfather's Clock.m Sh,
was not recalled.-Burtington Free Press
A Boston clergyman thinks he finds in th,
Bible prophetic reference to Buffers capa
city for muddling things: "And Benjamin.
mess was five times as much as any o.
theirs" ,..-.----.
| In Cincinnati they have given rs. r. r, ;
the leading editorial writer on the CONNER
| ctdt Gazette, the title of "Southern Rail
| road" because his editorials are long and dc
not lead anywhere.
Iia! Iia! Queen Victoria slipped on &
Windsor Castle step and hurt herself. My
agents have been faithful. l sent over the
lard to grease those stairs. All we want
now is more funds.-O'Donoran Rossa.
have $500 which l would like to invest
so as TO get big income from It at once
What would you advise.-John ID. Buy a
$500 Brussels carpet aud hire it around for
people to hang out during house-cleaning
time.-Philada. Nelcs.
We learn from the Philadelphia Ne,rs that
1t takes four ladies of the bedchamber, every
one peeress, eight common ladies of the
bedchamber and twelve bedchamber women
to put Queen Victoria to bed. This implies
a af ofa If al In, ha ,aIa
-Norristoun Herald.
$50 you dun got burned out on Hastings
street las night?" queried one colored wo-
man of another as they met on Monroe ave-
nue. yesterday. "Yes, de house dun burn to
de groun'," was the reply. cam you losted
eberyting?" "All 'cept one bedstead, two
chars an de bewro." "Shoo! wall, dar's one
consolashun about it, Mrs. Bebec, you has
saved 'nuff to begin spring house cleanin' on.
Detroit Free Press.
"Well, how is your brother doing in St..
LOUISE" asked man, as he halted moment
at the door of business house on the Bow
cry. "Vell, he don't fail yet" "Seems to
be doing good business?" "Seems dot
vay." "Well, hope he'll do first-rate." 81
hope so, too, but l dunno. He has been dere
tree months und don't fail yet, und I can't
oxac'ly make oud What he means. Six weeks
vhas blenty of dime to bust oop in blace
like st. Louis, und bay ten cents on der
dollar"
And now as the vioIets appear and roses
become about twenty cents apiece cheaper
than they were month ago, the young man
goes around and tells his friends that he
thinks of going to Europe sometime in June.
And all his contemporaries secretly envy him
as man born with a silver spoon in his
mouth. He tells them how he Is going to
climb the Alps and sail over Lake Como and
wander through the Coliseum and the Castle
of Chillon. He makes a great impression
on his friends and invites them TO see him
of, which they do with great deal of en-
thusiasm. Then he disembarks at Halifax
and goes off to Michigan, where he spends
all the summer on his uncle's farm and gets
the skin of his hands thick and hard enough
to sole pair CT boots, or to be palmed off
anywhere for a boarding house steak. And
when he comes bacS he speaks of Ravenna
and Athens as though he had been living
there in opulence all summer and not hoe
ing corn and chasing mad bulls at Kenosha.
Puck.
Lawyer Bigelow's claim for one half of the
money bestowed by patriotic people on the
wife and baby of Sergeant Mason reminds
the Boston Herald of a story. In the first
place Bigelew's charges for the past and fu-
ture amount to exactly three thousand five
hundred dollars, which Is, curiously enough,
the sum that Mrs. Mason Is known to have
saved. Now for the aHecdote of Mr.. Choate.
the great Rufus Choate, of the Boston bar.
One of his clerks performed certain SER
vice for a client, and when Mr.. Choate asked
how much he had received as fee, the re-
ply was, 1.-TWO dollars" 1.-TWO doilarsp'
exclaimed Choate; "why that wasn't enough.
Why didn't you get more?" 81 took every
penny the man had" was the meek answer.
Then Choate ran his hand through his curly
locks, and said: "Young man, you did the
best you could under the circumstances, and
your conduct in the affair has been strictly
professional"