The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-05-25
WITTICISMS
/ is put-ap or shdt.up with the UNI

moustache: "Down in front"
When in luv, all luyers think that no
n eve luved as thay luv-and l guess
they are right aboutit.
five got to be a sinniek. and l doan't
cair to 1--we any longer" wrote n young
man in Cairo. before he put the pistol
TO his head. 1t was a sad ease and a
bad spell.
We see it reported that a Mr.. Bean
has recently made a sale Of copper pro-
perty in Arizona for the sum Of $780,
100. There must be "a lot of wind about
that bean.-Tribune.
Crook says his championship of Will
cox vas dictated by perfectly disin-
terested motives" His immortality.
Wilcox. finds a fitting champion in His
Ineficiency, Crook.
Puek's Receipts. TO remove dand.
ruff. marry. Tokeep gloves clean, wash
your hands; to cure 'hams," pelt them
with wearried eggs; to preserve cher
ries, keep small boys off.
The telephone has been introduced in
the Sandwich Islands, and as hello" in
the native dialect is "Kalakaihoikaub-
aih%oihaukei," you can imagine what
kind Of a time they have at the "cen-
trail"
They had a funeral from the house
the day before, and at breakfast the
landlady asked, rs there anything
worse than the cold grave?" A heart.
less boarder answered, Yes, ma'am,
cold gravy"
A Newport snob recently went row.
ing with Il small poodle. The boat cap.
sized, the snob was drowned. and the
poodle swan ashore; and We are long
ing to know if this is a case of the sur
viyal Of the ittest.
The Oil City Blizzard Babbler man.
ages to keep up with tie procession
when he says: "a glass coffin is the
latest invention. This will give the de-
ceased a chance to see what kind of a
procession he has"
The white mar is smarter than his
red brother. The Indians taught the
whites the art of making sugar from
the sap Of the maple; now the white
man cal make maple sugar out of stove
backing and sorgum.
A Cambridge (Mass.) man arrived in
afrontier village recently, just as a gang
Of cowboys had taken the town. His
first exclamation, was: "WeIl, | de.
clare! didn't believe you folks had a
college here Already
Summerville takes the first prize for
tender-hearted man. He is so sensitive
that he can't bear to see or hear his
wife saw wood, and when she tackles
the buck-saw in the cellar he puts or
his hat and walks out Of the house.
Are your domestic relation agree.
able?' was the question put to an un.
happy looking specimen of humanity
"Oh, my domestic relations are al
right" was the reply; tits my wife's re
lations that are causing the trouble"
An Official. and. volunteer organist, o.
a church not a hundred miles from
Elizabeth, n. j., was nee asked to AS
sist in passing around the plate. lie re
piled that he didn't object to playlngth,
organ, but did object to being the mon
key.
The comment is made that the fine o
S5Oimposed on IA lady lawyer by a Wi
consin judge because she threw q tuu
bier of water into his face, was too mucl
1T should be remembered, however, tina
Wisconsin Judge may not be accuston
ed to water.
After the wheat came up, on a Ker
lucky farm, a sleeti storm covered tn
field with ice. Before this melted
flood swept over, and the ice, rising t
the surface of the water, pulled ever
blade OF wheat out of the ground an
carried it away. Please try and believ
t~his.story.l
Enthusiastic professor of physie,
discussing the organic and and morgan
ic kingdoms: %"Now, it | should shu
my e~yes-so-and drop my eyes-so-
and should n0t'move youswould say
was a clod. But | move, | leap; the
what do you call me?" Voice from th
a "a c%lodhOpper!" Glass is di,
missed.
Did 1t ever occur to you, when 20
were cropping around your room in tn
dark and struck your nose..so violentl
against a half open door hat it jarre
the whole house-dld it ever occur t
you at such IL moment that the heat G
the sun is sufficient to reduce the Pacif
ocean to steam in twenty minutes, III
probabilities are that it didn't.
II had wife and dog aboard tia
boat and both were lost" remarked
bereaved man. gazing in the directio
of the wreck. at must make YOU fet
,,rfar IaanIafa 1iEn - ruenooloJ L. ...-