Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1883-07-12

brakes Magazine.

''Now, my dear" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, rubbing his hands gleefully and
contemplating his wife from the oppo-
site seat of the railway car with pleas
ant smile Now, my dear, suppose
we take look at the lunch of which we
have had such remarkable accounts. IL
there Is anything nice when man is
travelling, it is homemade lunch.
Develop the viands, apd let joy be I'M
confined" and Mr.. Spoopendy Ike laugh
ed outright in anticipation of the gus
tatory delights in store for him.
''All right" giggled Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, opening the basket with trem-
bling hands. "Now you hold that, and
don't you open anything until get it
all out" and Mrs. SpoOpendyke hand
ed him a long roll of something done
up in coarse brown paper.
| "How much more of this is there to
get outp" demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke,
shifting at the paper and detecting Boz
logna sausage, thing he detested
the rest of the lunch i'm ordcrP Is this
Fetch forth the law-abiding elements,
if you've got any! Never mind the ex-
ecutive of this feast, produce the fabor-
ing faction, the tax-paying end of the
business!"
Here's some cheese" murmurcd
Mrs. Spoopendyke, ''and pie and
some smoked beef and some herring,
and"
Haven't We got some salt some
whereP' Kissed Mr.. Spoopendyke, plant
ing the Bologna on end in the center of
the pie. "How'm to quench my thirst
after eating all this truck, unless / have
saltP Where's the mustard that goes
with these merciesp" and Mr. Spoopen-
dyke dove into the package of beef and
scattered the contents over his wife's
lap. ell bet the Bologna can whip
the cheese in four roundsr' he yelled,
hauling the offending sausage out of
the pie and jabbing it through the
cheese. Murray! Now, Wen sponge
him off with the herring for the next
roundl' and Mr.. Spoopendyke seized
fish By the tail and slammed it lnto-the
basket.
"Don'tr pleaded Mrs. Spoopendyke,
looking helplessly on. IL like those
things, If you don't"
Cant we let the lunch have a littleP"
squealed Mr.. Spoopendyke, hammer 'ng
ut the cheese with the sausage. "Of |
course you like these things! They're
right in your line! All you want is a
strike and q step-ladder to be
n salt mine! Where's my lunch?
Bring on the delcacies calculated |
eDdyke! and the worthy gentle |
ii 4 he
the pie and impaled the herring on the |
other end.
Heres Charlotte, and "a" con-
menced Mrs. Spoopendyke.
Hand me the blushing Charlotte!"
howled Mr.. Spoopendyk Ike, who had fixed |
his mind OH cold chicken. and saw no |
realization of his anticipations. "Show
me the Charlotte just budding into |
womanhood. and she shall have the pie! |
Glue me-hey! What's thatp'
This is n can of bcansi" exclaimed !
Mrs. Spoopendyke, Frightening little. |
You know you always liked beans"
Lets have emu growled Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, reaching for them. What |
have you got to open 'em withP"
I'm afraid left the can opener at |
home," whispered Mrs. Spoopendyke,
rummaging through the basket.
chow d We propose to- open 'em thenp'
roared Mr.. Speopendyke, setting his
teeth and breathing hard. "Sow me
the spring that busts this cover off! |
Guide me TO the combination of this |
stem-wiDding can OF beans! Maybe |
this'll do it," and Mr.. Spoopendyke |
again grabbed the sausage and went for |
the can. "How'm l getting on!' he |
yelled, rs the bologna flew In all direct
ions. Think you begin to smell those |
beans any more plainly than YOU didP |
Wa-h-h!' he shrieked, as a huge chunk |
of the pork broke off short and landed |
his ear. "Thls hog don't know who |
he's fooling with Let me introduce |
you to Spoopendykcr and he ground |
the sausage fiat against the can and drop
ped the debris on the floor.
II don't know what we re going to do"
murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke in great
distress.
"Now watch the triumph of mind
over beansp" howled Mr.. Spoopendyke,
opening the window and placing the
can on the sill. 1.-The reward of genius!"
he roared, as he brought the window
down on the can.
Mrs. Spoopendyke lodged just in
time, and her unfortunate spouse caught
the bean part of the feast fairly in front,
and was covered from his eyebrows to his
ankles.
THAT what ye wanted?" he gasped,
Us the full extent of the calamity dawn
ed on him. THAT what We been trying
to get me to doP bod CAST the measly
beans!'' and Mr.. Spoopendyke made for
the smoking-car, and was seen no more
till dark.
81 don't care" solilquized Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, assuring herself that the Char
lotto had not been injured. He might
have waited moment. and no would
have had some cold chicken. But, of
course. if he has made lunch on beans,
he won't care for anything else" And
with this consolatory reflection Mrs.
| Spoopendyke ate the chicken and Char
lotte in alternative bites, and composed
herself for comfortable nap.
q. t..s.