Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1883-02-10

of boards Of trade, they hold up their
hands and roll their eyes in holy horror
at the wicked bucket-shOp men, who ac-
tually gamble, by means of a plan so
nearly like the manner in which the
bulls and bears gore and hug each 9th
er, that an outsider could never tell
there was any difference, IL he was not
so informed by men who lead in prayer
and teach classes in Sunday school, and
consequently could not lie. Still, any
man ought to know that it is proper for
the whales to eat the pickerel, but
against all rules of law and morality for
the pickerel to swallow the minnOws,,
and that man who can put up margins
on 5000 bushels is worthy citizen,
while one who can only raise enough for
80 ought to be prosecuted.
/ must. get back from the boys as they
are now to the good old times when they
were hardening their cheek for their
present calling.
AS / said before, we had no bummers
in the western army. 1t is true that
chickens grew very scarce in Tennessee
and Georgia, and the people got so they
couldn't tell the gobble Of a turkey from
the song of hooking bird; but If we
uiu gov VhOhA ~ wac Ouiy Ill DOIl uClClloCs
We found that every one of them was
rebel to the back bone, and that unless
we killed the hens and lady turkeys they
were bound to lay eggs enough to feed
the southern army on custard all the
the males got so lonesome they died of
broken hearts.
In the south the heart of fowl is al
xyo in hto aoIr Uhnn hn
men hens and the gallant turkey cocks
we acted like decent Christians and bur-
led them In the same graves.
IL we ever took a pig we did it out of
charity towards the Jews. We knew how
liable poor frail man Is to fall into error
and for fear our Hebrew citizens might
fall from grace, and by eating pork send
their souls to perditiOn, we removed
temptation from their paths. In order
10 do this we had to eat lot of hog, and
as there were people who claimed to own
them we had sometimes to endure hard
ships and danger to get them. If our
Hebrew friends knew how Wa suffered in
trying to free the south from the con-
taminatiOn of pork, they would do some
thing handsome for this. organization.
The army hummer differed from the
straggler as much as an active business
man does from the ordinary lOafer. The
hummer was the advance guard of the
army, the straggler the hyena who fol-
lowed and mangIed what the army left
and could not use. 1t is not fair to the
hummer to class them together. The
hummer, as | have said, was always in
advance. He was in every fight. He
was on hand for every duty. He shirked
nothing, grOwled at nothing, took life
easy, and, If at times little free with
the property of the citizens, he was al
ways respectful to the ladies and took
only what he needed for his immediate
use or might-need in the future, aud
when Bob Gibbons came into camp with
Two high chairs and cradle his pro-
phetic vision saw the eight little Glib
bOns that now bless his household, and
like prudent ScOtchman he made pro-
visions for the future. Bob is an editor
now, and runs the best agricultural pa
per in the United States, in which the
poultry department. shows that he re-
members what he saw. ~
You will find the bummers always
good fellows-always prompt. As in the
army they were the advance, 80 in peace
they lead the army Of civilization, and
in Heaven expect to find, them with
gilt edged wings playing on golden