The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1883-06-01

WHY WE LAUGH.
As long as David Davis lives his wife will
have about AGO pounds q year.

As long as David Davis lives his wife vii
have about AGO pounds q year.
A Detroit barber has the lockjaw. None
Of his customers are willing that he should
find the combination.
The run oIs In regard TO further Cabinet
| changes are but rumors. Secretary Chandler
was quite sessiek, to be sure, but not enough
TO throw uphis department.-Hdrtford Post
"The largest button house in New York
has suspended Now, If the largest sus
pender house in New York had buttoned, II
| would not have been so bad.-Norristotc
Herald.
~ love that man with all my heart" said
Philadelphia girl, "but the trouble Is that
married for money. He is an edltor."-Un
identified Exchange.
Poor Darwin felt to the day of his death
that his theory was incomplete, because hs
had not discovered the missing link. Had
| he lived little longer he might have seen a
dude and died happy.-Louisriiie Post.
"Never engage in anything you would not
open with prayer" said very strict ortho-
dox preacher. Whereupon an irreverent in
dividual arose and inquired: "What would
you do with dozen oysters?"-N Y. Com.
1dr.
They were speaking of a yoang lady who
sings beautifully, and one of the party asked:
sis she meZZo soprano" "No, l guess
not. Think she is Swede," was the inno-
cent reply of High School girl.-Harlem
Times.
The Brooklyn bridge seems to be q re-
markably firm structure, after all. The
other day writer on the New York Nation
crossed 1t, and although he had the manu-
script OF an editorial IN his pocket, the
bridge did not bend.-Denrer Tribune.
Jay Gould abstains altogether from liquor.
Recently, while he was i'll at the Arkansas
Hot Springs, Colonel Fcrdyce advised him
to take brandy or whisky, but could not in
duce him 70 take any. Finally, by subter-
fuge, Fordyce persuaded him to try q glass
Of crock and rye," which did him good, and
Gould said that the man who owned the
spring producing the water had fortune in
10.
Jake Stevens moves In the first circles of
LodPs colored society. Charcoal would
make white mark on his complexion. Jake
was recently In town on a hot day. DR..
Williamson desired Jake to do some white.
washing, when Jake made the following ex-
cuse: "Boss, de sun am too hot. 'Taint no
nse vorkin', done tole you, till l gets a
straw hat. DO yon think want to spoil dis
nigger's complexion?"
The editor of paper at Fargo, Dakota, is |
wanderer on the face of the earth. He
wrote description of an excursion and said:
"The majority of the ladies wore sacks of
the daintiest description" and the compost
tor set it up, "socks of the dirtiest descrip-
ton" He got a copy of the paper the first
thing in the morning, and when he saw the
error had his wife prepare him q lunch, aud
he started to catch train for the west As
the train moved out he saw a procession OF
ladies beaded toward his office, and he bribed
the conductor to hurry. The conductor says
he got Oft forty miles west and said he was
looking for tree claim. His wife will not |
follow him, because she was on the excur-
sion, and she wore sack Of the daintiest |
description. The only way for the editor to |
do is to be born again aud try TO lead diff. |
ferent life. IL Is said he sent for the com
positor who made the mistake to come out |
west and take up tree claim, but the CON-
pestor says he never cared much to own |
real estate anyway.