Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-07-13
WIT AND WISDOM.


Why is an old coat like iron? Be-
cause it is specimen of hardware.
The very best thing for you to do is
to do the very best thing you know how.
This is hard rule to follow, but safe
one.-N Y Herald.
Shakespeare evidently associated
the habit of drinking with wickedness,
as he refers to a man who could ''sinile
and smile and be villain. "-Rochester
en- ~ Post-ETpress.
4 will explain that whenever / want
a thing, and Mrs. McWillams wants
another thing, and we decide upon the
thing that Mrs. McWilliams wants-as
we always do-she calls that compro-
mise. Mark Ta0ain.
Probably the meanest man on rec
ord keeps clearinghouse in San
Domingo. Last winter an earthquake
turned the editice clear upside down,
and the very next morning he began
charging the garnet dodgers tirst-fioor
prices.
When Brown failed to catch the
young lady who slapped his hands at
Copenhagen, Fogg remarked that it
was quite marine disaster. "a smack
lost, you know" he explained in an
swer to the interrogating chances lev
eled at him from all sides. boston
transcript.
"A gentleman was complaining on
Change one day that he had invested
a rather large sum of money in Wall
street and lost it all. A sympathizing
friend asked him whether he had been
''bull'' or bear to which he re-
piled: Neither; ] was a jackass!" -
Chicago Journal.
Weak in geography: An application
was made at railroad ticket office in
this city not long since for ticket to
New Hampshire. ITO what part of the
State?" was the question asked by the
agent. 'Well, was the reply, 81 don't
exactly know but it s next to that place
called Vermont. ''-Newport NerCs.
"A married woman, who has had
trouble with her female help, sends this
recipe to the press: PUT all your old
lovc-lettcrs in a pasteboard box in the
servant girls room. A supply of old
love-letters has been known to keep a
girl contented in one place for three
months at time. - Chicago Herald.
"A poem in an exchange states that
''When the true poet comes, each heart
shall feel LIES deepest fountains OF
emotion stirred; Fond lovers signs, the
ring and clash of steel, Shall summoned
be. within us, at word, etc. From
which we infer that the true poet has
not only not yet come, but has not even
started.-NorriStOUn Herald.
-' How delightful the country air is
this morning. remarked Miss Fitzjoy
as she stepped to the threshold and
looked toward the rising sun. 81
should like to live here always"
Well. l guess Josh wouldn't object"
said Farmer Robinson, with sly wink.
And then Josh scud around the corner
of the house and began yelling at the
COWS, and Miss Fitzioy started inside to
take down her crimps so as to look as
pretty as possible by breakfast-time.-
Chicago Times.
"A legal point: He looked like a
rising young lawyer as he entered
Jersey City bank the other day and in
CURED of the cashier: Has any per-
son presented check here bearing my
signature. Q. smith, 'No, SIR"
+" If such check was filled in for 5000
and my name forged to it would it be
cashed?'' .'No, sir-not even if the sig
nature was genuine and the note filled
in for S10. .Ah-eh-yes. was simply
making a legal point. bank in my
vest pocket. Good morning. - Wall
Street Neu,s.