The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-15
Uncle Remus and the Hvena.
"You all gentermens nee'n't ter ak me
)w / is, said Uncle Remus as he came

how is, ~ said Uncle Renus as he came
in yesterday-''yer nee'n ter ak me,
kaze I'm poly en- mighty po' 'ly at dat. ="
Uncle Remus's manner of anticipating
the usual cordial inquiries after his
health attracted attention, but no one
said anything. Every member of the
editorial staff appeared to be deeply alb
sorbed in his work. Uncle RemuS
waited a moment and then advanced
to the CRATE and proceeded to warm his
hands.
''Look lax de mo- try ter git long
de wuss off is, the old man continued
after while. '.Fus yer come de Me-
Comic en- sot over agin de mornin' star,
den de elements tuck'n turn deyself
loose, en- den de cole wedder crope up
on me, en- now, bless gracious, yer come
long folks en- say de woods is full of
desc yer hyenuss creeturs, er some
yuther kinder varment wat ain kotch
de name un. Whar Mars WINS Howellpn
The old man was told that he was in
the editorial dressing-room, just across
the hall. Uncle Remus sighed but did
not enter the boudoir.
s.Dey tells me- he continued, ''dat
dat ar varment got out dar in Mars
Wins backyard en- chawd up beef leg
des like folks chaws up er sody cracker,
en- den he tuck en- fan out dat ar great
| big Inglish NASTY, des same ex if she'd
bin one er deze yer tarrier dogs. Now
| den, eff Mars WINS II des up and tell
me out'n his own mouf dat dat ar
creetur is servigous huff fer ter han lie
that ar big nasty dog, den I'm gwine
back home en- fling my doin's in dray
| en- leaf out fun dar, kaze Wes' Eeen
amt no place for old cripple nigger like
me.
Hit done got ter dat pass whar sum-
| pin n er got ter be done, en- dat mighty
quick. Miss Sally, she say she speck
| hits des one er dem ar Klu-Kluckers,
but Miss Sally sech er cuse wife oman
| dat dey amt no tellin' wen she's run
! MIN RIG on you, en- mon dat, wat de
name or goodness make de Klu-Klucker
run round on he all fours en- paw up de
groun' in Mars WINS bach-yard3 Dat
| w at | wanter know"
'.Why don't you take gun and go
out and kill it?" some one asked.
''Who? Meph exclaimed Uncle Re-
mus in tone of mingled derision and
establishment, "Bless yo' soul, chile, eff
dat creetur IL des lemme lone much ez
| do hit, dey won't be no kinder 'spute
'twixt US. Too much room in desc
Nuninety States fer ole Remus fer ter be
elbowin' up gin dat creetur.
isis Tempy say she seed it, Sis Ferra-
| by say she seed it; en- den yer come Brer
| Rastus en- say he seed it, en- Brer Plato
say he seed it. En- fun de time Sis
Tempy seed it twel de time dat Brer
Plato seed it, hit done crowd lev n foot
Dat W at make | so skeerd. Dey all
does mighty funny" continued Uncle
Remus. shifting his weight from one leg
to the other. .'Dey meets it in de bushes,
en- dey looks at it, en- den dey goes of
en- tells folks bout it. / boun' you eff |
meets dat creetur, L wake up de neigh
borhoods. Ill des take en- fetch squall
| dat'll make de chickens crow in Chat
| tynoogy.
ISIS Tempy low dat it look so thin in
de flank en- so keen in de quarters dat
she speck hits a sperrit. Oh, you kin
laugh" exclaimed Uncle Remus, us one
of the staff hastened to hide his face be-
hind q paper; ..you kin laugh, but ef
dey's any laughin' in dis kinder bizness,
| Id er done foun' it out endurin' er de
seventy year w at bin scufiiin' long
in deze low groun's. Sis Tempy, she
low dat she speck it's q sperrit, en-
Brer Rastus, he low dat it mount be a
witch, You 90 out ter Wes' Een', en-
you kin see de entrenches yit wharf folks
got kilt, Des es sho'Z youer settin' dar
| deys quare gwines on under de canopies
after folks is gone ter bed"
''What do you propose to do if it Is
witch?" the statistical editor asked.
Il done druv hoss-shoe nail in de
bedpos', en- burns salt in de fer, en-
SEE my pra'rs out loud eve'y night er de
worl, ~ replied Uncle Remus seriously,
''but seem lax de creetur amt keerin;
en- now I'm gwineter change my pro-
GRANGE, I'm gwine in dat place dar,
en- I'm a gwineter ak Mars WINS Howell
bout it, en- if dat creetur is bin cuttin'
up in his backyard, den I'm gwinter
| go home en- load up my ole muskit plum
to de mouf, en- ef | des year stick
crack, I'm gwineter open de do en-
shet my eyes an lam aloose, en- lay eff
dat creetur is made out'n n flesh en- blood
I'll make i'm show up. Des put dat in
de paper, kaze eff any niggur gifts hurted
close by my house, / wants ter git de
law en- de a'vertizin on my side"
Whereupon Uncle Remus marched
triumphantly into the editorial bou-
| doir.-AtLantG Constitution.