Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1883-08-31
NEWS COMMENTS.
A JERSEY CRY lawyer stole two bed quilts.
EXAMINE the outside shell of q brides first
pie if you would see hard case.

EXAMINE the outside shell of brides first
pie if you would see hard case.
+ SITTING BULLS crossness was probably caused
by jealousy of Logan's moustache.
The southern moonshiners are becoming civil
lized. They now water their whisky.
LONG BRANCH hotel clerks love to kiss girl
babies. None under l8 need apply.
CLARA LOUISE KELLOGG must be losing her
artistic powers. She. has begun to. make farewell
THREE hundred deaf mutes are holding
convention in New York. It is very quiet
affair.
MITCHELL man made 81, 900 in a specula.
ton and went crazy over it. He probably didn't
have far to go.
PROF. vENNoR is breathing sea air and fgur-
ing on the architecture of new lies at Old
Orchard Beach.
JOHN KELLY passes the plate in church, but
the congregation watch him closely enough to
prevent accidents.
SOAP bubble parties are all the rage in Iowa.
The person blowing the largest bubble takes the
cake, or the chrome.
PosTM AsTER GENERAL GRESHAM is the only
cabinet officer at Washington at present., but
'the government still lives"
The New jersey apple crop is failure, and
the future scarcity of apple-jack fills the New
Jersey heart with dire dismay.
THE richeat man in Russia is Baron de Sxcig
litz, but riches can never bring comfort to q
man obliged to wear such name as that
The cranberry crop promises to be good one
and the turkey yield will be fully up to the
average. Let US rejoice as BELTS the occasion.
THERE is a woman in Philadelphia who never
goes to the drug store for her complexion. Her
husband is portrait painter and fixes it up for
her. .-
"A V1CKsBURG editor has invented a cotton
harvester that is pronounced to be perfect
success. And yet some people claim that edi-
tors have no brains.
BEN BUTLER is now sailing the ocean blu, in
his yacht. See here: old man, yacht to stay at
home and attend to your presidential knitting
or you'll fall behind the procession.
TIE Dayton, Ohio, Journal says Hoadley, the
democratic candidate 1or governor, is unques-
tionably sick. His trouble is that che has cut
off more with bis incsors than he can masticate
with his molars."
Two Boston women, seeing five boys dividing
money, started for the police, but not finding
any, took two of the lads to the station. They
then went back and captured the rest. The
money had been stolen from gutter drunkard.
DURING the cyclone in Minnesota the other
day hailstones fell ten inches in circumference.
1t must be very discouragiug to the temperance
folks of that state to find the heavens supply
ing the barkeepers with cracked ice free of
charge.-Hawkeye.
Ar a recent fancy dress ball in Paris, Mrs.
Bonanza Mackey appeared in a costume Of white
voluptuousness like glove. A belief is crowd
ing its way to the front that Mrs. Mackey is
hem-stitched dudess.
JOHN ROACH wants to try the steam yacht
Yosemite against Jay Goulds Atlanta. II don't
know what my informal challenge twill
amount to-" he says, "but will run the Yosem-
ite race with the Atlanta or any other steam
yacht from here to Cape May, the owner of the
boat that beats to take both yachts. Now that
is fair offer and will stand by it,"
ELIZA BAaas, of sumterville, Fla, belongs to
q prolific family. She married at IS, and
though now only 81, is the mother Of eighteen
children, Of whom fifteen are living. She had
twins twice. She is hale and hearty, and is said
to be very hard worker. She had three sis
ters. One who is dead had fourteen children,
and died at 26. Two others have eighteen
children each.
WoEFUL VAIL.
Oh! the dust; the damnable DUST
Borne on tho wings of each futtering gust;
Filling our noses, our ears and our eyes
With Dakota famed dirt in abundant supplies
Whirling,
Circling,
Cavorting around,
Now high in the air, now hugging the ground,
Now flying along in some frolicsome freak,
To soil the bought bloom on the fair maiden's
cheek, -.'t ..., .- .,a <. g.. q
Or seeking . rest in her aquiline nose,
And making her sneeze asshe ne'er before snoze!
In vain have we prayed to the fathers in power
To battle the dust with the sprinkler's damp
shower, s-.&,s'. .,a.: - - q,
And even to heaven we've prayed in our grief,
That the rains might descend and give us relief
From the whirling,
Sweeping,
Eddying cloud,
That encircles the streets gray, dusty shroud,
q But all of our prayers unanswered remain
The sp1inklers come not, nor cometh the rain,
"a Ne lean back and cuss as we ne'er before
cussed,
4 w the IL I'LL! NIL iii! dust!