Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-12-19

y1nat Aunt Maria, in delivering her whole
some lecture to Uncle Jake, broke her um-
brella, and spoiled Jakie's lsautiful coun-
tenance, and dinted his katy hat, but badly
spoiled as is his appear ance, he is still rec
ognizable to all who know him by the form
of his person.
That the Introduction of two horns in the
Lutheran church has disgusted q number of
the older members. To their minds the
blast ofs horn in the church is as the puff
Of the breath of old satan, and the sweep
Of the fiddle's bow as q whisk of the tail of
the Devil. Aunt Maria remembers when
the organ was first put in use there. A
Presbyterian elder then said, 'sthe Luther
ans should buy a monkey for their organ"
The same elder lived to hear the notes OF
the organ in sacred song in HE church
The older people were educated against the
use of the fiddle and horn in the church,
and it is like you s'must be born again" TO
them to receive new education in church
music that they were taught to despise
when they were children. The children
to the notes of the fiddle and horn and no
more expect to see old Satan appear among
them, than did their fathers and mothers
when they sang the good old hymns Of the
past in tho good old fashioned way when
they were young.
That the course of study in the common
schools should be confined to spelling,
reading, writing, arithmetic, geography and
grammar. If the State will teach those
branches thoroughly it is all that tho State
should do.
That the agent who gave . set Of new
school books to the directors Of . certain
township when they put out the old books
and took what he was selling, was to hear
Copeland, on snobbery, and had alady with
him. How many dollars were taken noed
lessly-robbsd from the people by his trans
action in books. Uniformity in school
books and ten years time without change Of
books, would stop the work Of the briber,
and the bribed director for period OF 10
years. Copeland missed such snobs.
That Copeland, in his delivery about
50 obbery, missed corporations, communist is
and spoilsmen. jake, dear, he missed you.
That Uncle Jake had better advise his
own boys than to be advising other peoples
boys. Excuse me, dear jake, you say you
are bachelor.
That number OF the lady teachers at the
Institute had beautif ul, auburn, or golden,
oh, yes, red hair, the very kind that French
men admire most.
That Uncle Jake il . conceited old bach.
elor dirt to declare that the hands
teacher smiled on him. 1t wasn't ME, dea,
Jakie. What . pole-cat you are.
That il is not natural sin to drink oil
smoke, Jskie, the sin consists in the abuse;
TO drink or smoke to excess, TO loss oi
health, or to debauchery, or waste of mean.
that should go to the support of the family
is where the wrong comes in. Put that in
your pipe, jake, aud smoke it.
That Uncle Jake would like to have
coffee and chocolate house started. Taking
the size of your belly, jake, you might be
Judged to be first-rate desd-head drinker
at the coffee chocolate table. Couldn't = ou
drink bucket empty, If some other fellow
would pay for isi
That The Ta.rows railroaders that are
driving the stakes for the new road, are no,
asking for funds of people along the line OF
the road, they say that they have the mon
ey to put it through.
That Uncle Jake is impudent to ask Aunt
Maria for her card. Aunt Maria has Tilted
you, how often, before do that: you must
become a mackerel eater, ladies all like
mackerel, you know, aud if they don't eat
them in public they eat them secretly you
must cultivate a stronger belief IN the books
of Moses, and have more faith in the teach.
ing of the Il fishermen, and fish eaters tha {
| followed the Master. Don't you think,
jake, that you are playing the fraud when
you talk against masters and bosses a1d
have one yourself. The French commune,
dear Jake, spurn the old and new Testa-
ments because they both recognize Master,
quit talking about masters and bosses, rec
ognize your boss, wear your collar with
your boss's name on it, then you will be
consistsnt; be orthodox, don't cant SO
much and after that, ask for the card of