Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-07-01
PEcK'S BAD BOY.
He Puts a Frog In the Old Mans
virtuous Couch.
IT cRAwLs OVER THE PARENTAL LEG,
And Cries Of Murder Disturb the Peace Of
the Family ckcIe-A Baby in
a Basket at the Front
Door.


grocery man to the bad boy, as he came
In the store one evening to buy stick
ofstripped PEPPERMINT candy for the
baby, while his pa stopped the baby
wagon, but on the sidewalk and waited
for the boy, with an expression of resig-
nation on his face.
'swhat's got into your pa to be q
nurse girl this hot weather"
30, we have had o circus at our
house." said The boy, Is he came in af-
ter putting the candy in the baby's
hand. "You see, uncle Ezra came
back from Chicago, where he had been
to sell some cheese, and he stopped
over q couple of days with us, and he
said We must play one more
Joke ON Pa
before he went home. We played it,
and il is q wonder am alive, because
| never saw pa so mad In all my life.
Joke on shares. If L play any more
Jokes don't want any old uncle in to
give me away"
"What was it," said the grocery
man, as he took a stool and sat out by
the front door besides the boy who was
trying to eat box of rsspberries on the
sly.
"Well, uncle Ezra and me bribed the
nurse girl to dress the baby up one
evening in some old, dirty baby clothes,
belonging to our wash woman's baby,
and we put il in a basket and placed
the basket on the front door step, and
put note in the basket and addre sed
II to pa. We had the nurse girl
Stay Out I'm Front
by the basement stairs, so the baby
couldn't get away, and she rung the
bell and got behind something. Ma
and pa, and uncle Ezra and me were in
the back parlor when the bell rung, and
ma told me to go to the door, and
brought in the basket, and set 1t down,
and told pa there was a note in it for
him. Ma, she came up and looked at
the note as pa tore it open, and uncle
Ezra looked in the basket and sighed.
Pa red part of the note and stopped and
turned pale, and sat down, then ma
read some of it, and she sat down, then
she didn't feel very well, and she lean
ed against the piano and grated her
teeth. The note was in girls hand
writing, and was like this:
"Old Bald Headed Pet.-EOu will
have to take .,are of your child, because
cannot. Bring IL up tenderly, and
a Slt for 1eaE ny Sake. send Il r. the
"WhS: did your ma say~ said the
grocery man, becoming interested.
80, ma played her part well. Uncle
Ezra had told her the joke, and she
said 'retch,' to pa, just as the actresses
do on the stage, and
Put Her Handkerchief to Her Eyes,
Pa said it was false, and uncle Ezra
said, %, brother, that / should live to
see this day. and said, as looked in
the basket, pa il looks just like you,
and I'll leave it to ma That was too
much, ond pa got mad in a minute. He
always gets mad at me. But he went
up and looked in the basket, aud he
said it was some dutch baby, and was
evidently from the lower strata Of So
ciety, and lie said he didn't know any
'AlmiIa' at all. When he called it
dutch baby, and called attention to its
irregular features, that made ma mad,
and she took il up out of the basket and
told pa it was q perfect picture OF him
and tired TO put il in pas arms, but he
wouldn't have il, and said he would
csll the police and have it taken to the
poor house. Uncle Ezra took pa in q
corner and told him the best thing he
could do would be to see 'Almira' and
compromise with her, and that made
pa mad and ne was going to
Hit Uncle Ezra
with chair. Pa was perfectly wild,
and IL he had gun guess he would
have shot all Of us. Ma took the baby
up stairs and had the girl put 1t to bed
and after pa got mad enough uncle
Ezra told him it was all Joke, and it
was his own baby, that We had put in
his basket, and then he wa madden
than ever, and he told uncle Ezra never
to darken his door again. don't know
how he made up with ma for calling ii
a dutch baby from the Polack settle
ment, but anyway, he wheels it around
every day, and ma and pa have got so
they speak again."
"That was mighty mean trick, and
YOU ought TO be ashamed Of yourself.
Where do you expect to fetch up when
you die?" said the grocery man.
al told Uncle Ezra il was q mean
trick" said the boy, "but be said that
wasn't q printing to some of the tricks
pa had played on him years ago. He
says pa used TO play tricks on everybody.
may be mean, but / never played
Wicked Jokes
on blind people, a. pa did when he was
n boy. Uncle Ezra says once there was
q party of four blind vocalists, all girls,
gave an entertainment at the town
where pa lived, and they stayed at the
hotel where pa tended bar. Another
thing. 1 never sold rum, either, as pa
did. Well, before the blind vocalists
went to bed pa caught . lot Of frogs
and put them in the beds where the
girls were 10 sleep, and when the poor.
blind girls got into bed the frogs hoped
all over them, and the way they got
out was caution. 1t is bad enough 70
have frogs hopping sill over girls that
can see, but for girls that are deprived
of their sight, and don't know what
il looks to me like a pretty tough joke.
cause when Uncle Ezra told the frog
story, brought home q frog and put
Ii In ra's bed. Pa has been
Afraid OF Paralysis
for years, and when his leg, or any
thing gets asleep, he thinks that Is the
end Of him. Before bed time turned
the conversation onto paralysis, aud
told about a man about pas age having
vous, and soon after he retired guess
the frog wanted to get acquainted with
pa, cause pa yelled six kinds of muir
der, and we went into his room. You
know how cold q frog is? Well. you'd
. dide to rec pa. lie laid still, aud said
his end had come, and Uncle Exra
asked him if it was the end with the /
head on, or the feet, and pa told him
paralysis had marked him for a victim,
and be could feel that his left leg was
becoming dead. He said be could feel
the cold, elsmmy hand OF death walk |
ing up him, and ne wanted ma to put a !
Bsttle OF Hot water
70 his feet Ma got The bottle OF hot |
water and PIT II to pas feet, AID toe