The Magnolia gazette., 1883-05-10
The Obstacles to Marriage:


OF course all society is interested in
the marriage question. Though mar
riage involves serious responsibilities to
all parties directly concerned, yet our
forefathers generally met the question
with resolution and courage. Fifty
years ago every young man and woman
got married, or if now and then one
failed or neglected his high social duty,
the term ..old bachelor or s'old maid't
was applied in derision. Nothing but
the lack of all personal attraction was
supposed to interfere with woman's
opportunity for settlement in life,n
while the man who chose to live singly
was looked upon as a curmudgeon or a
crank, unworthy of public respect.
This prejudice against old bachelors
and old maids has been transmitted
even to this generation, though either
those who from necessity or choice are
wearing it are given higher place in
public esteem than their predecessors,
it being admitted that there is ample
excuse in many instances for preferrfng
the condition of single blessedness.
The earnest and industrious young
man would like wife, but what is he
going to do with her? The young
woman in his own station has been
brought up to despise labor; she has ac-
quired a smattering of what are called
accomplishments; she has an ardent
fondness for dress and society; and he
realizes that to him marriage with the
woman OF his choice would only cause a
swelling of his expenses, to answer the
demands of fashion alone, to an amount
equal to or exceeding his income, and
he therefore postpones the matter as
one that he actually breads and is
afraid to undertake. If he succeeds in
his vocation, he rises out of his station
TO a higher one in society, and the
woman of his earlier choice is left be-
hind with all her accomplishments and
cultivated tastes. If he is unsuccessful
he either becomes respondent and a
victim of vicious habits, or, having in
creased in wisdom, he steps down the
social ladder and takes wife from
the ranks of those who have
learned the lesson of industry from
their necessities and are earning their
own living. With such a wife, con
tented in the sphere of home, and not
ambitious to shine in social life, the
poorest young man, if industrious and
sober, will be able to "get along.''
There are thousands of such couples in
every part of the country who to-
gether have solved the riddle Of sue
cess by steady industry, economy and
perseverance, and thus, in spite Of lack
of early education and accomplish
ments, are able to look down upon
many who once counted themselves
their superiors. 1t is true that they
sometimes are annoyed by being classed
as " shoddy,' but this they can endure
so long as they have the consciousness
that their prosperity has been honestly
earned and is all paid for. And they
date the beginning of it all to wise
choice in marriage, and, in consequence,
they are happier and more contented
together than if they had begun by try
ing to meet all the exactions of society
and in consequence remaining the
victims of grinding poverty.
The problem of marrying wisely is no
less one of embarrassment to young
women than young men. They see
those whom they would like to admire
becoming addicted to fast habits
drinking, smoking, gambling; owning
and driving fast horses, spending their
incomes at the opera or its equivalents,
despising honest industry, seeking posi-
tions which permit the wearing of good
clothes and save the hands from soilng,
but allow no incomes sufficient for the
support of a family. Such young men,
in the language Of lady who has stud
led the social problem for the benefit of
the younger persons Of her sex, 'sare not
worth marrying She might have
added that it would be dangerous to
marry them. The first condition in mar
ried life is the assurance of a sufficient in
come for a comfortable support. The
young couple trained to work and with
firm determination to continue working,
whatever society may think, need have
no misgivings upon this point, for the
income will be sure to come. But If
one member of the marriage firm de-
spises work and is ambitious of social
distinction, there will be failure and
misery, and this will be aggravated all
the more if both are trOubled.with the
same aspirations. A working Young
man can not afford to marry a fashion,
able young woman unless she is able to
bring him the income of an Inheritance
of from $4,000 to 100000. And no
young woman can afford to marry
young man ''of the world" because,
whatever may be his wealth and how
ever safely it may be secured, his per-
sonal habits and tastes viii in the end
bring a kind and degree of misery for
which no money can compensate
Woonsocket kR. ~ Patriot.
-s
Zuni Courtship,