The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-05-16
Mr.. SpOOSendNko and The Dog.

iooh pOit, ny u'urj bHlu mr.
Spoopendyke, as he led a huge and
shaggy dog into his wifo's room, "Iyo
got dog a friend of mino gave me.
What do you think of him ?"
GOOD gracious - calculated Mrs,
Spoopcndyke, mounting chair in dis
may. els ho mad p
"No, Mrs. Spoopendyke, "rctortcdher
husband, "he not only isn't mad, but
he isn't stepladdcr either, nor "A birds
eye view. He's dog, and, if You don't
get ont of that chair, he'll probably bite
your legs off,"
Mrs. Spoopendako sat down ON her
feet and eyed the brute with some trepi-
dation.
"MayAc he's cot the hydrophobio,"
she suggested, by way Of hearty vel
come.
"P'ops he has" agreed Mr.. spoop-
endyke "but, ii he has, he's got it in
hispocket. Como here, doggce, do2gee,
doggee" and Mr., spoopendykc snapped
his fingers per5uusiyc'y.
"Why don't he come when you call
him ?" asked Mrs. Spoopcndyke, deeply
llttIchlcu III lllt pibNttilNES'
Because you make suohadod gastcd
noise You scare INN, explained Mr..
Spoopcndyke. "Come, doggec, dogsee,
doggee !"
81 don't quite like the way his tongue
hangs ont, object d Mrs. Spoopcudyke.
at don !oHE natural.
"Maybc you don't like the way his
tail hangs out, either. Praps You think
that's artificial, too. With your inior-
nation about dogs you only need II slut
bottom and a broken hinge to he II dog
pound. Keep quiet now, while | teach
him some tricks. Come here, dogScr
Sit up, sir"
The dog stretched ont his legs, opened
mouth like Il folding btdstead and
growled.
"What makes him do that?" asked
Mrs. Spoopendykc, sitting on the back
OF a chair with her feet in the seat.
"Dod g0st ltl" howlcd Mr.. Sfoop-
endyke. "Who do You s'posc made
him do it? Think ne works on a wire ?
Got notion he goes by steam? He
don't, | tell yc, he's alive, and he does
it because that's the bent ol his mcasly
mind. What are yo sitting up there
for? Can't We SEQ he don't like it.?
Now, you sit still. Here doggcc, dog
gee, good doFgce, sit up and beg - and
Mr.. SpoOpcudyko held up an admoni-
tory finger
The dog eyed Mr.. Spoopcndykc with
anything but IN assuring glance.
"Hc's hungry suggested Mrs.
Spoopendyke. "Dogs do like that
when they want to be taken down in the
yard and be fed.
"Of course You know grumblcd Mr..
Spoopcndyke. IAN You want is por-
feet ignorance on the part of the police
to be II dog fight. Got anything in the
house for him to eat
"There's some cold oyster stew and {
piece OF custard pie"
"That's it" rNyed Mr.. Spoopendykc
"That's what's the matter with the dog
He wants pic You've got it. Yol
only need a COMM tee and fight to b,
bench show. Where's the oysters
Don't We see the dog pming for oysters
Haven't yo got some cold coffee io
him? Give him u lemon to stay hi'
stomach - and Mr.. Spoopendyk,
jumped straight upin the air and landed
on the dog.
The dog made for the open air with Il
howl, and Mr.. Spoopendyko gathered III
twelve baskets Of himself and looked nj
ter HIS prize.
"Never mind, dear" said Mrs
Spoopendyke, sootMngIy, "he'Ll com'
back.
"lf he does I'll Kill him." shoutc,
Mr.. Spoopcndykc. See what you'y
done. You made me lose my do
and torn my trousers. Anylhin
more about dogs you don't know? Gc
! any more intelligence 10 impart nbou
dogs? All you want is Il bucket {
brandy around your neck and snow
storm to be mons Of 81. Bernard,
with which logical conclusion Nj
Spoopendyke began exploring his out
living districts for possible bites, whll
his wife specuIated upon the salvation
of the cold oysters and the custard pi,
by the sudden and eminently salts
factory disaliection OF the dog. .-Byook.
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