The new North-west., 1883-05-04
Who'll E NO.T721
VOL II, 49, DEER LODGE, MONTANA MAY H. 1902
WHY WE LAUGH.

A man is known by the company he keeps,
but woman is known by the company her
neighbor entertains.-Boston Transcript.
A new song is entitled, ave Never Speak
as We Pass By" Probably they are both
counting the same girl.-,Somercstte journal.
There is nothing to show what disease
killed Adam, but 1t was doubtless something
like appleplexy CoTier-Jo'rnat
A young bride being asked how her hus-
band turned out, replied that he turned out
very late IN the morning and turned in very
late at night.
"What is Socialism," asks the Philadel-
phia Bulletin. Perhaps it is doing unto
everybody else as you would that nobody
should do unto you.-Grophic.
"Take Notice" is the name of new town
in Idaho. If it wasn't for the name some
people might net see the single saloon which
constitutes the place.-Detroa Free Press.
1t is said that the sun will absorb the earth
in million years. That puts an end to
prize-fighting. 1t doesn't leave time for the
necessary negotiations.-Drdke's Magazine.
He rang the door-bell of banker. The
servant tells him "Msnsieur does not receive
to-day" "That makes nothing to me. My
racket Is to know If he will give anything
French.
Mrs. Spraggins was boasting of her new
honse. The windows, she said, were stained
"That's too bad; but won't turpentine or
benzine wash it Off" asked the good Mrs.
Oldbody.
It is an actual fact that an American buz-
l. n1za fo, "a
other day and tried to devour 1t. This Is
veuched for by our religious editor.-Ameri-
Gus (Ga.) Recorder.
CELIA is better locking" remarked Mrs.
Brown with a smirk, "but Lucy will get
married first" eyes," chimed in her hus-
band, ,"gimme Lucy-fer matches every time
Springfield co., Republican.
Secrets OF the confessional. ais it sih,"
asked fashionable lady of her spiritual
director, "for me to feel pleasure when q
gentleman says / am handsome?" "It Is,
my daughter" he replies, gravely; "we
should never delight in falsehood"
A rural exchange says: "Noyes White is
the proud and happy owner of handsome,
weli-foImed calf, weighing 119 pounds" !"
Noyes will have to have his stockings made
to order, or else send for some of David
Davis ast-ofs.-Burlingt0n Free Press.
A little boy astonished his companions the
other day by telling them that he had ga
spanking team at his house." An excited
crowd Of boys had walked nearly home with
him, when one of them asked, "What dye
call 'em ?" "Pa and ma" was the.-Bur-
lington Free Press.
According to Fremds's Daily, Mrs Win
throp Smith was boasting to Mrs. Knicker-
booker, "My ancestors, you know, really did
| come over in the Mayfower." Mrs. Knicker-
| booker adjusting her eyeglasses )-"Really
had no idea that the Mayfower carried
steerage passengers" Mrs. Winthrop Smith
was sorry she spoke.
Alexander Fl. Mitchell, of Milwaukee, is
said to be worth SIS, 600, 900, and he has in
| Scotland, whence he came, schoolmate who
| Is said to be worth $4,000, 900. 1t is related
that the two met in France few years ago
| and spent the day together. The Glasgow
man paid all the bills. At the close of the
day, when the two sat down to dinner, the
Glasgow banker pulled out a card, and turn.
| ing to Mr.. Mitchell he said: ssSandy, you
owe me S165." This was Sandy's share OF
the expense of the day.
| A Milwaukee hotel man having grown
tired o. numbering bedrooms now names
them. 1t Is rather startling to hear the hotel
clerk, with bis quill toothpick in his mouth
call out: "Take the gentleman's baggage
out of Ireland and send 1t up to Siberia,
"Give the large gentleman and his bride the
Mammoth Cave give him Hard Luck, pu,
him IN the Chimney" "Put him In SAIL
Creek or If you prefer you can 60 te
'Hades.'" Among the names are Skowhegan
Sky Par,or, Gehenna, Vienna, VadeIland
| Mayflower and Plymouth Rock.