Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-10-25
A LECTURE ON MANNERS.

When the audience in Barn Hall had
taken their seats, Superintendent Dick
arose and asked them to kindly excuse
Lecturer John Spicer for lateness, as he
was waiting to hear his cousin Nell de-
scribe one other kind of bad manners.
Superintendent Dick said he believed
that Lecturer Spicer had heard of either
five or six kinds of bad manners, he
was not sure which: and while the au-
dience were waiting, he himself would
tell them something he had heard his
grandmother say about manners. His
grandmother said that when her mother
was little girl, children in the coun-
try who were outdoors playing or
walking, used to make bows and court
estes to people who We're riding past.
The boys made bows and the girls made
courtesies, and doing this was called
''making their manners" Superin-
tendent Dick said that if the girls pres
ent did not know how to make a court
esy, he would show them; and then he
bobbed down and up in a very funny
way.
He then asked the audience to rise
and make their manners, upon which
they rose with much noise and quick
ness, and the boys made each one his
own kind of bow, and the girls each
one her own kind of a courtesy, and
the whole effect was SO funny that Su-
perintendent Dick could not help
laughing, and neither could the boys
and girls themselves. In the midst of
the merriment Lecturer Spicer entered,
and the audience seated themselves as
quietly as they were able to. Lecturer
Spicer then took his stand in front, and
after making his manners, which is to
say. his bow, he began as follows:
Ladies and gentlemen, manner means
way, and Z manner is a way, and man.
ners mean ways. The ways you do
things are your manners. The ways
you look, the ways you speak, the ways
you act, the ways you move, the ways
you eat, are your manners. What you
ners. l do not mean hanging it up. 1
Everybody has to have some
body has to have some kind
of ways to do things. There are two
kinds of manners; l will mention them.
Good ones and bad ones. Your face
looks better when you are having good
manners than it looks when you are
having bad ones. I have heard of six
kinds of bad manners, and one more. l
will mention them. Pig manners, one;
Bear manners, two; Donkey manners,
three; Post manners, four; Cock-a-doo-
dle-doo manners, five; Cow-in-the- par
lor manners, six.
First. Pig manners; and if you want
to know what they are, go look in
the pigs pen when their dinner is
being put into their trough. Every
piggy hurries to get the most. and get
the best. Every piggy looks out for it
self, and does not care about the other
ones. Children that have pig manners
are the kind that want to be help ped first
at meal times, and want the best things
for themselves, and the biggest pieces.
They look out for themselves and do
not care about other people getting any
thing good.
Second. Bear manners. Children
that have bear manners are the kind
that are gruff, and glum, and growly.
They have cross-looking faces and some
times stick their lips out, and snarl, and
growl, and are most always a-grumbling
and a-growling about something they
want to do or they don't want to do.
They talk in this way: "Find my hatn'
81 want to 60 out!'' ''Open the door!''
az want something to eatr' and never
think of a please or a thank you, and
they get cross very often, and look
cross.
Third. Donkey manners. Children
that have donkey manners are the kind
that want to do just what they want to
and nothing else, no matter how much
YOU may ask them and coax them. If
you ask them to move, they stay still.
If you ask them to stay still, they move.
If you ask them to keep quiet, they
make noise. If you ask them to make
noise, they keep quiet. If you ask
them to go of an errand, they say:
"'Don't want top or, 81 amt a-going
ton and the worst kind say: 81 Wits
and 81 won'tr' When they are play
inc, they never will do what the others
want to, but only what they themselves
want to.
Fourth. Post manners. Children that
have post manners are the kind that do
not answer when they are spoken to,
any more than a post would. If q
visitor says: How do you do?'' or;
..Do you like to play tag?'' or; "Do
YOU like pictures?n or butterflies, or
anything, they stand still as post and
do not speak; but may be if you should
ask them if they liked candy, they would
speak one word, and 1 guess it would
be yes.
Fifth. Cock-a-doodle-doo manners.
The children that have cock-a-doodle-
doc manners are the kind that feel bio
and act so. When rooster struts round
among hens he acts as if he felt so big
he did not know what to do, and some.
times he seems to feel so big that he
has to get up on fence and clap his
wings, and crow, '.Cock-a-doodle-do
Sometimes there'H be lot of fellows
playing, and a cock-a-doodle-doo fellow
will come there and he'll act &c if bo