Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1883-12-06
WIT AND HUM0R.

lie meeting excused himself on the plea
that he ''was only taking minutes OF the
affair.
1t is said there are 10000 spurious
sovereigns in circulation in England.
France has had several. but most of
them have died off.
A young lady, who has probably had
reason to doubt the veracity OF the
male biped, says patches of lies are only
equalled by the lies of patches.
Mrs. Malaprop says that the increase
of morality from Egyptian cholera is
so great that it is high time for the doc
tors to find an anecdote against it,
Wipe your pen after using, and it
will last the longer. Remember, "A pen
is saved, II pen is earned.-Boston
Transcript.
"Can your wife drivc?" one Somer-
vile man asked another. 'Drive
what?" 'Drive horse, of course.
''Drive horse! why, man, she cannot
drive nail.
A young girl who married a New
York dude on account Of the lovely
Queen Anne villa he had at Newport.
admits that she sold herself for mess
of cottage. Rochester POSt-ErpreSs.
A farmer near Manayunk, Pa, is very
fond of raw dog meat. There is one
slight advantage about that kind of
food. You do not get two or three
kinds of dog meat. rs may happen upon
eating sausages.
Mistress: ''And so you refuse to 20
Al, N ,t
Eyes, mum; | cant lie like that.
dear me, what swindlers those en-
| ployment agents are. | was told you
had served in respectable families.
'Let us play we are married." said
little Edith, and ! will bring my dolly
and say. "Scc baby, papa Yes"
replied Johnny, land | will say, Don't
| bother me now; want to look through
the paper. "-Hdrper's BaEdr.
She was sweetly inexperienced
| housekeeper, rs one may gather from
| her remark when some one suggested
that she should purchase spring mat
! tresscs. Yes. she replied. ''if they
are in season we'd better have some
The Harvard annex for women is
| emincntly successful. Two ladies of
class of live have become engaged to
! their teachers. and another is permit
ting one of the young professors 10
swing on her fathers gate.
An editorial article in Philadelphia
paper is headed ~ Narrow Miss" We
ut first supposed il must be something
about Sarah Bcrnhardt, but upon Sec
ond thought it occurred 10 us that TO
1 49,.
oil city Hig=ard
The Young man who won much glory
| because he said he loved his own sister
| better than any other fellows sister.
was Knocked oui in the first round when
it was discovered that he was spending
! all his salary on Il young woman who
was an only child. Men are deccivers
ever. tin. Com. TTdrCicr.
Traveller 10 cnterprising citizen: You
have put up a fine building here. Jus
torable." Il think il first rate. lisa
credit to the town. ~ WHAT" "A
credit tothe town" Not by Il blamed
sight! We paid every dollar in clean
cash. Denrer Inter- Ocean,
The .Hoicyw .igc says that when
young gentleman is introduced to
young lady it is the young lady that
must begin the conversation. Did the
Modern Age ever hear of young lady
who didn't begin To talk before the in
PRODUCTION was half through?
An exchange says that Mary Andcr-
son has abandoned THE Hunchback. ~
Another evidence of Mary's excellent
taste. After giving Wales the grand
| l-;ln,!, h, ,.n,.,. ,lt..,an,l,. .t,l.,, ,Io
hunchback. Good girl. Mary; she de-
serves little lamb-with green peas
and caper sauce. -1cras SiftingS.
Things one would not have said: Mrs.
| A.-"Come and lunch with us to-mor-
row? You will be interested in the
schoolmaster's bride" Mrs. Bob,
yes; how do you like her?" Mrs. B.
Very well, only she's little unused
to the ways of society. | shouldn't ask
her to meet nice people"
Native Ito visitor from the South):
"Ah, you've donned the kilt! Quite
killing, | declare! But why do you
wear the Macdonald tartan when your
name is Thompson Little Il. (who.
has been getting a good deal of chafl):
''F'r a very good resemblance paid
for it, (Retires in a huff
Mrs, Enthusd-''H How envy you your
| garden, Mrs. Smith! Anyone would
| know these were fresh tomatoes"
Little Johnny Smith (who has been in
the kitchen) And right under the
| Fresh Tomatoes there's the biggest
| picture ever saw. IL runs around the
whole can. Can't | get it, mammal"
No charge is made for the suggestion
that the paper car wheel men ought to
use nothing but South American news
| papers in their business. These papers
are SO thoroughly familiar with revolu-
tons as to require no preparation in
converting into iirst-class Wheel
PatSburg Telegraph
What to him was love or hope? What
to him was JOY or carep He stepped on
n plug of notified soap the girl had left
on the topmost STAIR and his feet flew
out like wild fierce wings, and he struck
each stair with sound like a drum.
and the girl below with the scrubbing
things laughed like a iiend to see him
come.
A gentleman visiting school had
book put into his hand for the purpose
of examining class. The word '.in-
heritance" occurring in the verse, the
querist intcrrogatcd one of the young
sters rs follows: WHAT is patrimony?'
:'Somcthing left by a father .'What
would you call it II left by a mothcr?"
"Matrimony,"
"Why does that lady always carry
little velvet bag9" inquired Gubbins'
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