Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-04-10
spoopenayke crab.FisLInE.


ping hat and business suit seated in n
scow beside an attractive lady, feeling
around among lot of strings pendant
from the side of the boat, and warming
the lady that she could not keep too
quiet.
Snow. my dear, observed the gcn-
temau, t'don't you move, because I feel
crab on this line. IN pull him up
until he Is in sight and then You slip the
net under him. SOepv
Yes, DEAR" replied the lady, .
little hustered as she Contemplated her
share of the performances. s.But, Mr.
Spoopendyke, what shah do when I
get the net under himF"
"Scalp himi" retortcd Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, drawing slowly on the line. ssNow
wait, he's there" and Mr.. Spooper-
dyke becsne even moro cautious II. .his
movements. s'See hint There he IS
Scalp him, queki''
Mrs. Spoopendyke iabhed the not
into the water and swGslioi around
with great Eigor.
"what ye doiuSP' yelled Mr..
Spoopendyke, Strengthening mp anl
glaring at her, as the crab struck n limo
for Newark Bay. "What'd We think {
had there, the bottom of the rive ?
What'd We suppose ye was trying ~
catch, churchF Take It outi Give It
herei" and no grasped the LADY aronni
the waist and took the net away from
her.
"Did I scalp him?~ asked hrs.
Spoopendyke, flushed with her cNe'-
tions and trembling with her exrsite-
ment. t'Show him TO mel let mo SEQ
what he looks liFse.'
"Looks like" roared Mr.. Spaonap-
dyke. "He looks like Sandy Hook hg
this tiInei Why didn't you scalp llimP
What's the matter with youP"
! Ill couldn't tell which was h's
head faltercd Mira. SpoonendylSe. wha
hadn't seen anything at all. 'iPall him
mp again. and you'll sec il [ don
! scalp the last hair on his skulll'
The English language lost its Hat
charm for Mr.. Sp5npenkyke, ana ha
turned to his strings with a wiiherins
look of contempt for his wife.
-'Now You be careful" he said as
length. ''Ifcre's another variniut, AMI
you mustn't let him get away. when {
say +Scaipi' you shove the not under
him and Just bring him aboard"
"Can You see him yetP" asked Mrs.
Spoopendyke, waving the net over her
head and peering into the water.
''waiti Yes, there he Is! Careful,
remember. Now, scalpi"
lie must have been crab of phe-
nomenal scholastic advantages 10 have
COTTON rid of that swoop, for Airs. Spoop-
endyke, with a view TO redceming her-
sell, went for the end of the string blind
ly, but with n strength Of purpose th,e
made failure impossible. She not only
got the crab, oct she slammed net,
crab and all over Ar. Spoopendykc's
head.
"What-wah-hi 80 shriekcd that
gentleman, rs he felt lin elf inn
pounded.
t'Lost him again1'' exclaimed M-..
Spoopendyke, who hadn't tho remote
idea what crab looked like. +'whr,
dear, what's that awful big spider Ia
the neti Good Grnciousi''
"Take it off" howlei Mr. Spoopn-s
dyke. f'TRke it-wowi tho thing ha4
got me by tho ear! Haul him of, will
yeP'
Mrs. Spooperdyke dropped tho har-
die of the net as IL il were an old.fa ~
/ ioned bonnet, aud gazel upon her hus4
band in CONSERVATION.
t.Gast the crabi'' yelled Mr.. spoor-
cndyke, tearing the net away. saLet go,
ye 6rutet Yah !hat'' and the unfortu.
nate man wrenched the fish from off his
ear and dashed II in the bottom of ths
boat. t'What's your scheme in doin.s
thatP'' he demanded, holding his car
with one fist and shaking the other at
his wife. t'Ihink you've got % eat iem
right out of the Wa'er2 Got a nOtiou
that he came up cooked and Won must
down him quick or he'll spOilp' yellel
Mr. Spookendyke, enraged beyond all
control By tho sight of the carnage that
trickled down his fingers. Wizard W
mean by ita' and he sprAug into tbs
air and alightsd on the unhappy crab.
eli F..1f
the bottom Of the boat.
"WRs that crab, dear?'' asked Mrs.
SpoOpcndSke, assisting her husband u
arise and contemplating the mangIed
fish with anything but favor. "Is that
what you call n crabP thought"
'' You thought" ripped Mr.. Spoop-
endykc, kicking ut tho bewildcrcd crab.
"That' the trouble with you-yOu thinkf
Did ye think I was going 20 stand
here and let that crab chew on my ear
ill his lcgs achedR P'raps ye thought
t:c WAS whispering to mel Maybe ys
thought he was telling me funny sto-
Tyi Well, he wasn't, and II be was his
voice was so hoarse / couldn't enjoy itt
1e thought, did yel'' squealed Mr..
Spoopendyke, his wrath rising as the
pa!n and fear subsided; "thought =
crao talked with his toes. like some wo.
men think, did yei oh. yOu thought n
had such head as that I'd fit Il up
with shucc beds and stick of gum and
start female boarding-schooli With
your ability to think, you only need q
squint and four long words 70 Sc n Con-
cord School OF PhilOsophyip and Mr..
Spoopendyke plunged the oars into the
water and began 70 row vigorously.
where are you going, dearR" asked
Mrs. Spoopendyke, Gmidly, after hee
husband had pulled hard tor some time.
't Home!" grinned Mr.. SPoopendyke.
with a horrible expression of visage-
"I'm going home 20 show the peopls
how much damage @ rusticatlng idiot
asylum can do with one measly crab
when she pins berseH down to Itt''
"Of course" assented Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, humbly, 'Ebut say, dear,
wouldn't you get on faster If you united
the boat?''
Mr. Spoopendyke turned and gave n
sharp look at the bow. Then he hauled
his hat down over his ears, stepped
ashore and struck out ut brisk walk.
Z" don't know" sighed Mrs. Spoop-
endykes as took s.Jr boat In tow. fsI
don't ku0V 1tFfk 4 Hnupk n