Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-10-26

ply. Il am of Il travelling family.
live mostly upon the cars, and am jus
returning to my home on my semi
annual visit, having stopped in Boston
only long enough to buy few trihe
as family rresents-at the great sale
you know, OF Lady Doldrum's effects
in Beacon street. They're in the ba,
beneath my feet
What did the lady sell out for?' tn
old lady inquired.
'Oh, was the reply, 'for many rea
sons. In the first place, she was dead
and didn't want 'em any more. Per
haps that was reason enough.
Most deciduously,' said the dame
with a smile.
Perhaps you would like to see them,
the young man said, reaching down II
take up the bag.
Bless me, yes, by all MEANS
i invested chiefly in cosmetics, con
tinued he articles for the toilet, in
tended not only to beautify, but t.
restore beauty when SO lar faded tina
the original texture cannot be per
ceived. Lady Doldrum was hun
dred and ten, aud she VAS never se
above forty five by those who took th'
census.
Indeed. said the eager listener.
YES he went On, 'ahd those VIII,
never had any L.auty at all, by apply
ing this Balm OF the Begun lotion
may become cel-brat. d enough to com
mand ten thousand dollar prize in ,
moral ciicus.
Ike had drawn near and Was over
looking the property.
There, my little fellow, said th,
young man, don't handle thai soar
unless you wish to buy a cake, o1
which / have several. That soap j,
made from The oil Of .pikes, and 10 ;
sure antidote against mosquito bites.
An snecdote against mosquito bite
must be invulnerable, said Mrs. Part
ington, 'and as you say you purchased
. number of cakes, wlcb you woult
sell me q cake or two.
Certainly; there are three, which
you can have at cost-seventy- five
cents-delighi.d 10 accommodate you
| bonght large lot Of the lotion THAI
| need, and il strikes me that 1T woult
heighten aud restore your beauties o.
complexion that Las somt vi lal- tried
! would rot press the matter, of. .conrs,
but one so ceie biaied should take al
the pains possible 10 preserve feature,
that may lie cherished Is part If oul
native scenery. can spare You 1
couple of bottles Of the preparation
for which there was great competition
among respectable old ladies at The
sale. Two bottles ? very we'll. an
pleased to accommodate you. Tive
dollars. Thank you.'
1T is to be put on extrsneously, she
said.
Externally. yes. And that remind,
me Of little joke that occurred at the
sale. One asked the auctioneer if the
wash was to be applied externally, and
he said: Yes, adding in tone thai
the questioner did not hear, 'and eter
nally, should judge, in your case
before it would make you beautiful.
Ha, hs, ha! lmpudent, but good
wasn't it.
But how will it infect n.e:' tn.
dame inquired
'Excellently we'll, he said, 'be ecaus,
it has something to work on, and your
face very much resembles that of Lady
Doldrum.'
What is in the other package sht
asked.
oh, they are preparation for sim
liar purpose as the Begun and ex
cellent thing, too, which shall b.
pleased to show You. There is th
greatest corn alleviator in the world
Lady Doldrum cured herself with it
and was thereby enabled to wear shoe
two sizes too small for her. Fact,
assure you. Tha, package contains
disinfecting vinegar, called the Cir
tric Samson, so strong that when sp
piled as a purifier the servants have Il
wear a handkerchief over the head
securely tied under the chin, to pre-
vent the blowing the top Of th.i
skulls by its pupgeLcey.
Dear me- said Mrs. Partington 81
must be dangerous to have it lying
round where there are childen.'
We'll, my dear madam urged th'
young man, you will ned it. Yo,
had better take lox.'
She took one, of course, and the con
yersation continued uninterruptedly
At Portsmouth the nice young mar
got out, with his valise, umbrella ant
parcel, bidding Mrs. Partington 1
warm farewell, and begging her tG
write to him her opinion Of the purch
ases she had made.
What young man was that, she ask
ed the conductor.
He's a drummer, was the reply
'Camphor, Cantharldes 4 CO.
We'll, | declare she mused; 'only
drummer, and yet he has enough ma
lady in him to make whole bras.
band. What have you got there, Isaac?
''Tis a brush that fellow dropped,
said he painting the car window mex
to him vigorously with water held il
the car dipper, which he had twisted
off for the purpose; well give it t.
him when we come back
Il hope you didn't abstract it, sait
she.
That said the old gent on tn,
front aeat, looking back, lis an as
stract proposition But We mean
she didn't know, nor he. probably
but he laughed, and Ike kept on dab
bing the window with the new brush
Their destination was gained, wher
they found all the room they wanted
and it was matter Of surprise to th
old lady, when she asked about tn
faith cure, to learn that it was no
bottled and for sale, like Congress