Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-03-08
WIT AND HUM0R.
,awl dresses--Rahv clothes.

baWI dresses-BaDV clothes
The father of twin babies needs no
alarm clock
Beautiful calling card" four kings
and an ace.
Another hotel horror. as the man said
when the hash was set before him.
Job never stopped over, but he boiled
over once.
Never present preacher with a
parrot unless it is stuffed.
The electric incandescent pocketbook
is the latest. 1t is always light.
"What is the boundary that separates
a smile from tear? ''Giveitup." 1.-THE
nose"
Girls are more courageous than men.
They are ready to make match with
fellow twice their size.
The novels of NJ. Zola have an enor-
nous sale in Italy. The Italian stake to
them as pig does to a slop-hole.
The Kansas City Times plaintiyely
asks, "Do our girls paint?" Guess not.
Put cosmoline on your lips and they'll
be all right, says the Denver Tribune.
"He-"My darling, 1 really believe
my rheumatism has wholly disap-
peared." She-"Oh, / am so sorry.
Now we shall never know when the
weather is going to change"
They found a crazy man in the State
House gallery the other day. and the at
tendant respectfully said you've
made mistake, sir. Your place is
down stairs. "-BoStOn Post.
Actors have strange fancies. They
will not walk under ladder that may
be leaning against wall. They con-
slider it bad luck for bricks to fall on
ones head.
At st. Anne's Sunday-school, in
Lowell, in answer to the questions:
"What is the greatest church festival?"
a little orphan of six years promptly re-
sponded, 1.-THE strawberry festival"
China and Japan buy our dried APP
pies freely, and, as the Boston Tran
script remarks, thus does American
industry help to swell the population of
the Orient
A Boston journalist has made the dis
coyery that the most appropriate play
in which an intelligent colored woman
of that city could make her debut is
"Black Hide Susan"
"Annie, is it proper to say this ere.
that 'ereP" ''Why, Kate, of course not. -"
"Well, | don't know whether it is
proper or not, but feel cold in this ear
from that air"
A little girl was walking on the street
the other day, when she saw a very
bow-legged man with short coat on.
"Oh, MAJ she cried, "there's man
with tunnel under him."
A statistician says that 1900 Ameri-
can women visit Canada every year to
smuggle n sealskin sacque. There is no
doubt this man has been Tilted -Roch-
ester Democrat.
A man in Summerville, Ga, sneezed
so vigorously that he yanked his spinal
column out of place. If he had swallow
ed the sneeze instead of letting it fly he
would burst into more than a million
fragments.
An Iowa grocer who refused to trust
woman for pound of logwood was
nearly killed by blow from an ak
helye. When woman wants to dye an
old shawl she is prepared to surmount
all obstacles.
A German at a hotel in this city the
other day had some Limberger cheese
sent to him. A little boy who SIT beside
him turned to his mother and exclaimed,
Mamma, how | wish | was deaf and
dumb in my nose.
'Who is this Mrs. Langtry?' asked
one Nashville youth of another "Oh,
she's the prctticst woman of New
jersey replied the other, confidenti-
ally Nashville has ten faro banks, five
national banks and three daily papers.
A Sussex paper Is responsible for the
! following perturbing announcement;
prince Bismarck has been suffering
from neuralgia in the head, and his
"chcek' is assuming alarming proper
tions. fHaHY Folks.
A woman in Wheeling, W. Va, fell
fifty-tiye feet from q bridge, crushed
through the ice that covered the river
beneath and would have drowned but
for the gallantry of male spectator.
There is no information at hand TO show
that she said Thank you"
Said n poet to an unfortunate specu-
lator; Don't you think that the open
ing lines of Tennyson's little poem,
Break, break, break, are plaintiye and
sad?' Yes" was the melancholy re-
ply; "but | think that Broke, broke,
broke" is n good deal sadder. "
A Buffalo man pleaded with the door
/ keeper at the museum to let him in fol-
I half price because he had but one eye
/ The doorkeeper couldn't see it in that
way, and made him pay double, claim.
ing that it would take him twice as Ions
| to see the show.
A certain Indiana man can drink hal
pint Of Kerosene and experience ne
deleterious effects from the draught
The Detroit Free Press man is afraiC
that some day n thoughtless person vii
blow in the lndianian's chimney and ex
: plode him,