The daily Cairo bulletin., 1883-11-27
Tho Bride Who Didn't Die in an Old
Chest,

The fair lmogene D'Eustis had been
welded to the knightly Sam Higgins
The clergyman had been handed two
dollars in cash to pay for the splicing,
the guests were filling themselves up
with eatables, and everything was slid
ing along as smoothly as a cider mill
sailing down on spring freshet, when
all at once the bride was missing .n
Her newly found husband looked un-
dor the table, but she was not there.
The guests separated to search.
Some looked down the well--others
down the cellar-others in the hen-coop
and smoke-house and behind the pig
pen. No Imogene,
Then some said that she had been
abducted, while others scotfed at the
idea OF a girl weighing 1876 pounds and
having scream which could be heard
two miles, being carried off in broad
daylight, and in neighborhood where
the Democrats had over 200 majority,
A detective was called in. He look
ed at her old shawl, measured the
length OF her old shoes, and decided
that 1t was mysterious affair. He
would take the case if desired, but
would not promise any satisfactory So
luton under year and a half ..
The fair ImogeDe's father hadn't be-
trayed much excitement up to this
point, The wedding feast was the first
square meal he had tackled for six
months, and he wanted to I'LL up before
giving way to emotion. He was now
full. He turned around upon the ey-
cited and distressed guests, commanded
them TO hush their hullaballo, and dis
appeared up stairs.
When the coy lmogene slipped away
from the feast it was to see il her hus-
band would miss and follow her, She
slid up stairs, mounted to the garret.
and after brushing the cobwebs off her
nose she advanced to the big blue chest
in the corner. This chest had been
made to hold her fathers government
bonds, and was hooped with iron and
provided with a spring lock, which
never cost less than dollar. Her
mission was to hide in the chest and
see il her husband would be soft enough
to climb up there and throw up the lid
and call peek-a-boo. AS the reader
knows he wasn't the man to catch on.
The old man D'Eustis walked up
stairs and made his way to the garret
through the same trap-door the bride
had used He thought she might be up
there to take last farewell look at the
punches of catnip, mouldy school books
and broken spinning-wheels. He could
not see her. He called aloud, but the
whistle of the tug on the river was the
only answer. He turned to 60 but
something whispered to him that per-
hsps he might find a plug of tobacco
or q bottle of stomach bitters in the old
chest, He advanced with beating heart
aud threw up the lid.
why, pop, Is this you.' cried the
fair Imogene as she spang up and rip
ped her bridal dress clear down the
back.
"Yes, this is me!n growled the old
man, land what the jimcracks are you
doing hereP"
Hiding from Sam"
I'm tarnal mind to box your ears,
big as you are! Here you've raised a
regular city convention all over the
house, spoilt dress which cost me 81
with the making, upsot your mother
and scarf old Mrs, spigot into fit!''
Please, pop, l.
You git! Drap yourself through
that trap-hole, skip down there and
tell the crowd that you don't know
beans when the bags united"
And the bride got. And her husband
was so mad that he burnt up free
railroad pass to Chicago, and her moth
or cried, and her father went off down
town TO play poker, and, taken all in
all. the coy bride and the old chest and
the spring lock business didn't pay ten
cents on the dollar.