Morning journal and courier., 1883-11-16
PRETTY

man lately married was asked at the club about his bride: ''Is she pretty?" "''No, re- piled he ''she is not, but she will 5e when her::father dies!'-Texas Sittings-
 sNow, children" she contiaued. "what is the meal you eat in the morning called?' s'Oat meal" promptly replied member of tho class-New Bedford Mercury.
 A Black Crook show which i'd travelling in Wales is represented as drawing polished audiences'' Perhaps this observation does not extend further than the pates in the front rew.
 What relief it is, to be sure! When your friend politely remarks that he is glad to see you, you are no longer haunted by the suspi- cion that it is only 8 campaign hs.-Boston Trar script.
 When is door not door? When it is a far, Oh no; that answer belongs to the first decade of the last century. Nowadays door See?-The Judge. Professor in chemistry-'sThe substance you see in this vial is the most deadly of all poisons. single drop placed on the tongue of a cat is enough to kill the strongest man. "-From the German. ssYour wife," says the Christian Union, 'tis entitled to her share of your income" Oh yes. we all know that, but after she takes ont her share we have to walk home unless wa
  Another shower of fishes ia reported from | the West. We are glad that the clerk of the | weather Is arranging for these visitations so frequently. We would suggest Friday morning of each week Free Press.
 Scene, Sunday school: Young lady cate 1 chizing the children on the plaques of Egypt. 1 r. L-"And what became of the plaques of l lecusts?" A pause. Then small boy at bottom suddenly, ''Please, miss. I know! John the Baptist ate them."-Boston Tran script.
 s'How much do you think you can get along on, my son? I want to allow you enough to make a decent appearance in so- ciaty, but yet will not countenanee extrava- l gance." Just my idea, dad; think, say, about $1O, 900 a ear-and-er-expense you know, would be about the thing. ''-Bos- ton Transcript. stSims Reeves attributes his success as 8 singer to Milton." Milton has been dead so many years that we can scarcely believe he gave vocal instructions to any man now l1v- ing. If some of the ballet girls now aesn on the stage were to attribute their success in dancing to Milton we could readily believe them Herald. We are told that an English paper contains the following curious incident of mis- -punctu- ation: Lord Palmerston then entered on his head, white hat upon his feet, large but wslEpolished boots upon his brow, dark cloud in his hand his faithful waiking-stick in his eye, menacing glare saying nothing. !" PeEha aps no mistake was made, however. IL seems likely that Lord Palmerston was candidate for something, and this paper was the organ of the opposition Citizen.
 THEPEr OF THE EXPOSITION.
 o, I'm fine old bull dog,
 Of the Exposition show;
 And when I'm round, the humans
 Hadsbetter fix and gol
 My month it isn't handsome; My nose it slightly ants;
 But both 1t very snugly
 letter-carrier's pants
 The sunall-boy is my mutton;
 I chew him dirt and alL They move him to the graveyard
 Ere leaves begin t3 fall I'd like to fight this minute, A locomotive factl Id mEsticate the piston And make the boiler equat O, I'm inc old bull dog, The terror of the show And when I'm round, the humans Had better fix te go l Louisville Courier-Journal.