Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-07-27
DIR. j. H. LANGLEY.

DR.. J. H. LANGLEY.
when the wind is in the east,
said Hamlet Il car tell a hawl
from a handspike," a remark whicl
has been made the subject of mucl
crudite commentary and many read
Jugs" Bookworms have shut them
selves up i'll their closets and pondere(
the connection between the east wine
and IA handspike, or, as some have it
''handsaw," and, as yet others, ''hern
shaw" L adhere to handspike, as he
ing nautically and naturally as
sociated with the east wind; for it is
well known that the simple but con
vincing handspike is the first argu
ment of the incenscd skipper when
wind and weather battling. he is i'm
PEELED to appease his feelings by
taking it ont of somebody, A hand
saw is but a lubherly carpenters tool
i'll nowise subject to atmospheric dis
turbances; but the intimate connec
ton between a handspike and head
wind and a lazy sailors back is toe
Obvious for discussion. But when
the wind is west, ah! then the merry
mariner laycth down the handspike
and exc the Delaying pin, and biddeth
the gay foremost hand to splice the
main brace; for then the heart of the
skipper is light, and his mind purged
of all spleen. Shakespeare knew what
he was about when he wrote of the
east wind and the corollary hand
spike, as he always did
Now for the bearing of all this
preface. On the morning of Deeora
ton Day, when the soft west wind
was dallying with the opening buds
and blossoms, and all nature was of
fering odds of SO to S. in favor of
Hanlan. l predicted a good race, with
perfect weather And when the hour
for the contest came, 10. the wind
hauled round to the east and the big
ocean swell came tumbling in. and
there was no race. The race was
rowed next day, and well Won by
Hanlan. in the best time on record
three miles in nineteen minutes and
four seconds.
| LANGLEY's ALL EMBRACING NET.
Wanted A gentleman to take
one fourth interest in an important
commercial exchange. with parties of
character and responsibility; only
$3.50 cash required; fully secured,
and an immediate remuneration can
he drawn. Apply at room 50, Mason
Building" That does not sound very
badly. And if anybody with the
necessary funds dropped into room
50. Mason Building, he would find
nothing there to awaken his suspi
cions. He would find three or four
sumptuously furnished offices. busy
and Intelligent clerks and a general
manager, who was the very embodi
ment of affable dignity. But he would
not find the immediate remuneration,
though he would find steady, per.
manent employment in looking for it.
Nobody knows just how many victims
were taken III the all-embracing net
of DIR. }. II. Langley, the author of
the above alluring advertisement. the
President of the United States Con
struction and Investment Company,
the Mexican Guano Company. the
Continental Construction Company,
the Franklin Foundry Company. the
Anti Friction journal Bearing Com
pany, the Jewett Wrecking Company.
and many, many other great indus
trial concerns. For DIR. Langley was
a versatile gentleman and never I'm
dertook any paltry business. Oc-
casionally. for side spec, he took up
such semi benevolent branches as
the manufacture and sale of DIR.
Langlcy's anti lean and anti fat, the
Rocky Mountain Elixir, Casca Cinco,
Elixir of Life, etc, but his legitimate
business was
| CONSTRUCTION AND WRECKING,
And he constructed traps into which
many too o-confding young men have
walked. One man gave him 81 900,
taking stock of the u. $. T.. IL l. Go.
for the full amount, and doing the
light clerical work of the office for an
imaginary S75 month. He found
fellow sufferers employed in the same
way, but he found nobody who had
been able to collect a salary from
the genial manager. He lived in
royal fashion at grand hotel: his
gorgeous furniture was bought on
the installment plan ard mortgaged
on the insolvent plan, for nearly its
full value, to New York parties. The
Doctor" has been working this sec
ton for ten or a dozen years past,
and. though found out in some queer
transactions years ago, has managed
to find new fields for his inventive
genius every time.
Dr. Langley differs from lot of
nice men see every day, i'll that he
has been found out The advertise
ments and prospectuses and gaudy
offices of those who have not yet been
found out are all before us still, and
only the still, small voice of the news
paper man whispereth to him as he
gazeth: Wonder how long before this
swindle will go up! A year or so ago
THE PREVAILING FASHION IN swINDLEs
Was silver mines. All New England
particularly the fertile hills of New
Hampshire and the mellow uplands
of Maine, were supposed to be honey
combed and saturated, so to speak
with the precious metals Silver
mining had great boom until the
auriferous bottom fell ont of New
England one day, and the companies
went into oblivion. Electricity is the
present mania, telephones and electric
| lights being the favorite stocks.
have met more men who could have
bought 100 shares of Bell telephone
when it was a-beggiug at So than
any able bodied man could shake /
stick at in week Many of them. il
recalling the grand mistake of theil
lives, shake their heads sorrowfully
and add that ''there's money, though
in the 'Saugus IL Juniper Point Con
solidated Telephone. which is bount
to go up to 500 as soon as its merits