The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1883-10-03
The Machinery Didn't Work.

The other day Bill Higgonson, a we'll
known character of the White Springs
neighborhood, came to the city in COM
pany with several young ladies, to one
of whom he was engaged to be married.
He wants to be known by the leading
men in town. and to show the people of
his community that, although born in
obscurity and reared on the farm, he
can address prominent men in IA
miliar way. While the young ladies
were at the hotel Bill went into whole
sale store, and approaching a man who
sat in the office, said: ,3
"Cap'n, you can do me q big favor,
if you will. I've got lot of gals in
town with me, an wanter show 'em
that l amt no slouch. / want 'em to
go home an say that Bill-that's me-
come to town an was knowed by the
big bugs Now, / want to make this
agreement with you IN go away, an
putty soon I'll come aroun' with the
gals an come in here, slap You on the
shoulder an say: old chap, how do
you hold outP' Then you slap me, an
say: why, Bill, old boy, I'm glad to
see you.' That will be blowed all over
my country, an will be wuth money an
character to me, lemme tell YOU"
The gentleman said that he did not
object to helping young fellow along,
and that the aspiring William might
come in and slap him, when he would
go through with his part of the pro-
gramme.
Bill, highly delighted with the ar
rangement, went to the hotel and told
the girls that he wanted them to take q
walk with him. As they walked along
toward the store, Bill said:
..Now Pm going to show you, Liza,
that you ain t going to marry no
slouch. III show you that your own
Bill is looked up to an liked in this
town, an he is on terms with the best
of 'em."
The girl laughed self-complaceutly,
! and declared that it was nice to marry
a man that wasn't a stranger an a
slouch."
When they reached the store Bill con-
Quoted the ladies to the Office, where a
man sat looking over accounts; he was
not the man with whom the arrange
ments had been made, but Bill did not
recognize the difference. Advancing,
he struck the man pretty heavy slap,
and exclaimed: -
..Hello. old chap, how are you holdin
outP"
The gentleman sprang to his feet and
glared at William, but William, with,
out embarrassment, punched him among
the ribs and said:
''Old chap, how are you holdin' outp'
"Look out, here! What do yoI
meanP"
mo foolin', old boy. Don't you re
member the agreement" he added il
an undertone. Its me; don't you rec
ognize the man what seed you jes
nowP" and hen, as he fancied he saw
a change of countenance, he jolted th'
gentleman among the truncate ribs anS
exclaimed: "How are you holdin' out2'
The gentleman ''hauled off" with III
ink-bottle and knocked Bill down. The
girls screamed and ran away, and Bill
as soon as he was able to regain his feet
skulked away. When he reached t.,
hotel with his face all besmeared witt
ink his betrothed ran to him, punches
him in tie side and said:
"Hello. old chap, how are you holdin
out?''
.'This settles it with u.s." he said, sad
ly, regarding the girl with look tha
spoke of the melancholy yellow leaf
, 'Jest at the time need your sympa
thizin' the most, when old frien's q
back on me and knock me down, vi
jine the enemy. Go and pay your hote
! bill an go home"
.-Ain't you goin' to pay my bill?"
'Nary re i.
, ''Would you see me disgraced rig.
in place whar there's so many folksa
That amt my lookout. I amt
, goin' to pay nary cent fur you"
,, Then I'll take all back. an ar
!. sorry that made fun of you
8 ''Nuff said. Come an put you hea
: on this here manly shoulder. ."-Arkan
sat1 Traveller.