Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-07-29
HAIRLEss HEROES.
How Our Prominent People Got Their
smooth Crowns.

SmOONn NFOHus.
Here is a conundrum: What is il that q
man hates to have, but once getting would
not take the world for it? A bald head.
This is not new, but is as old as the first
menagerie kept by Noah. The REGISTER
dude is as bald IS jug and he extends the
right hand Of sympathy to his friends be-
low, who are in the same box. The fast
showing and rapidly growing trade dollar
spot on the back of his head has been the
butt Of many q Joke and he smiled good
humoredly over the intiction. He also
smiled as they doubtless will, when he
learned how other people got their crOqlet
grounds, for no one could get angry over
such tritie.
Co. Bill Exley scraped the hair of his
head, ri'ting under the trees over Ut the
new Fair Grounds.
Lieut. Sylyis lost his hair in a thrilling
encounter with "Rsg Mary
Charles Brues lost his nut brown waVy
locks by passing through average sized
dOOrways.
Sam McColloch lost his locks out while
yainly endeavoriDg to deCIpaer DIniel
Peaks Handwriting.
Col. Robert White lost his hair while
NJ skiDg n running record during our late
GnpleSsantness.
Patro!msn Dick Bird gsined his dIinty
billiard ball while making mash on
"SchOene Msdcksn."
Sam Harrison gained his half dollar
mark on his Uranium In lifting his hat TOO
often to bis lady friends.
Walker Peterson gained his polished
cocoanut by wearing high collar, which
worked under his coat
Patriotism Bsrum lost his superfluous
hair through carrying ladies on his head
and smoking strong cigarettes.
Will Wier, bOOkkeePer at the Singer
Sewing Machine Company Carried so many
figures in his head that the I've wore
through Will won't lie and neither will
the figures.
Councilman John Haberfieli left his hair
behind while speeding his flyer.
Fire Department Chief ran through mis-
hair while going TO q lire.
Alex Updsgraf obtained his beauty spot
in swinging IN the lane at Leatherwood IN
The summer so long ago.
Joe Woods was 50 risky that MS hair
wore oil trying to hold HIM down.
DIR. Gasmire gained his midway parting
by ogling the wrong maiden.
Col. Robert Crange obtained his g0urd
from wearing his pOCket-OOOk IN his hat.
DIR. J l.. Hardesty lost his hair in the
worry attendant upon the duties Of scien'
t36C investigation.
Clint Picket lost his hair through the
premature fall Of u sand bank in his boy
hood days.
John Wendell had his hair scrubbed off
in q Turkish bath, so he says; at all events
il disappeared in u single night.
City Clerk Bowers gained the ridge on
his head by Wiping his pen on it.
Patriotism Bob JunkinS rubbed his hair
of on the roof Of the city bull ling.
The ParsOn NJ the hook and ladder house
loss his hair IN honest endeayors to convert
his neighbOrs.
Patrolman Belleville used to be a carpeu-
ter sd Shsrpsned his plane on his head.
Surveyor OF Port Beach lost his hair by
collision with the Salvation Army.
Johnny Dsninger, sharpens his razor on
his head.
Jim Adams pulyerized his head covering
by standing on his head when a boy.
Manager Tracy has trade dollar on his
head, caused by electricity.
Ed. Lsrkin lost his hair during the trials
and tribulaliOns of the late dramatic ciuo.
M Carroll, of job printing fame, lost his
hsir BY an inadyertent shampoo with bot
tie Of ink.
Frank Webster gained q clear little spot
by usiT q curry comb by mistake.
Nick Crawley was scalped at the siege OF
Fort Henry.
PhiIo Kimberly lost his hair through
piqus at losing his seat among our city
Municipal Court Judge LETTERS lost his
thstcb through the outcropPing of mis- 81
gantic brain.