Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-11
AHEW suaEER.

and wsarlna glasses, entering the Do
htieal edit0z room. at may be :
little late tkengh 20 make il work
this year
Anything about politicsg~ ssksd
the political editor. lighting olga
retss,
You've caught on to It. said the
visitor. dropping into q chair and
ing about In one q his coat tail
"a u Iava II ! aid he ed
@You see, g ! said before. 1t may
be "a little late in the campaign to
wsrk the racket successfully. said
tie visitor. 81 want you to under
ytaud, sir, IN tha first place. that I
am well educated. ] am a graduate
Of"
"How (an that have anything TO
do with FOUR scheme ?" queried the
editor.
at has everything TO do with it, |"
said the visitor, diving his hand into
his inside coat pocket and pulling out
q paper. "If I were not up in the
classics and familiar with the litera-
turs of all ages, ! wouldn't think Of
occupying your valuable time for q
moment. But / come to you prepar-
ed at every point to carry out my
great scheme. The only trouble Is
I'm afraid it's too late"
"Well, explain the scheme. and
then I can Judge something about its
feasibility" said the editor.
"Well you see, they are all short
of speakers" said the visitor. "I
never saw such dull uninteresting
campaign in all my life. What the :
want to make things lively is a Sec
ond Demosthenes in the field. Some
body who can sling oratory by the
yard and tickle the ears Of the
groundlings, while he knocks down
the educated few by his pat quota
tions from the ancients. Now If my
system went into fashion, either par
ty could turn out that style of man
by the dozen. Simple as A BIC. !
get up set of speeches. and throw
all my learning into them. and then
/ pus my man through a hot house
forcing process that turns him out a
William NJ. Evarts inside of two
weeks. I'm not particular which
side work for. My main object is
to raise the standard of political ora
tory"
"Afrsid you have caught on too
late in the campaign" said the edi-
tor. but you might prove species
of last straw if you called upon the
State committee over at the Fifth
Avenue Hotel. They are about at
their wits ends for speakers"
"I'll try en-" said the visitor
Here is little paper explaining my
method, Now nothing catches on
like mystery when you get before a
mixed audience. What you want to
do is to say great deal without say
ing anything. / start an grafton, for
instance, with quotation from some
unknown author. This pleases the
scholars present Then | slap in a
few good stories for the middle grade
of mind, and come in with lot of
pure buster and nonsense for the
great army of free and independent
Say we start off with
Mcliits, Pejus, prosit, Obsit, nal, UIdezat
'aisi quod Iubent.' Now that's all
right. That means that you call
your own party pure, no matter how
black it may be. The college fellows
catch your meaning, or pretend to,
and you are put down as a scholar
at the start. The trouble is to get
your dummy to sling off the quota
tions correctly, but you can knock it
into their heads after a while. Then
the dummy filings off lot Of gener-
alities, but there is one vital point l
would insist upon"
what ia that" said the editor.
"The dummy must be good arm
singer" said the visitor. There is
everything in keeping up plenty of ac-
ton. There is the pound direct, the
pound oblique and the side pound.
Keep pounding the desk, or saving
the air. and you've got 'em every
time. / put my dummies through a
course of Indian club swinging the
first thing, Then learn en- a song
and dance"
"Song and dance r
Eyes; that gives 'em a grace of
and their information
might come in handy now aud then"
said the visitor. Now, we'll sup
pose they are in the midst Of an elo-
quent passage. Take Blaine, for in
stance, as an example. He thunders
forth, Who brought on the war p
Who desolated the sunny South and
soaked the nation in blood {? Who,
fellow-citizens, twisted the heart
strings of our women with anguish,
and slaughtered the noble youth of
our unhappy land2 Who did this I?
| will tell you. The Democrats. Ia
ta Ia Ia ia Ia executes double shut
fe to L and returns to @, where he
gives an Irish jig to Dancing in the
Barn You see, / believe in novel
ty-
Decidedly SO, said the editor.
Don't You think I might manage
to catch onY' asked the visitor. Il
can give you Democrat or Republican
which ever you ike.
"Well, the Democrats haven't had
much use for eloquence this cam
paign, said the editor. The Re-
publicans have been doing all ths
for both parties, but I'm
quite sure you are idiotic enough to