The Opelousas courier., 1883-08-11
TIE S~POOpENDYKEs.
Enjoying a Railroad Lunch.-A Search Tor
Cold Oh 'cken.

EfAND HE u
Cold Oh cken.
"Now, my DEAR" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, rubbing his hands g1eefuliy Il
contemplating his wife from the oppo-
site seat with apleasant smile. "Now,
my dear, suppose we take a look at
the lunch Of which we have had such
remarkable accounts. If there is any
thing nice when a man is travelling 1t
is a homemade lunch. Develop the
viands and let joy be unconfned r and
Mr.. S%poopendyke laughed outright in
anticipation Of the g~ustatory delights
in store for him.
"An right" giggled Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, opening the basket with trem-
bling hands. Nov, you hold that,
and don't open anything until | get it
all out" and Mrs. Spoopendyke handed
him along roll Of something done up IN
a coarse brown paper.
SHOW much more of this is there to
get out % demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke,
shifting at the paper and detecting
bologna sausage, a thing he detested.
"What is this, anyway, a club to keep
the rest of the lun h in order? Is this
thing the police force of this lunch?
Fetch forth the law-abiding elements,
if you've got any! Never mind the
executive Of this feast, produce the Ia
boring faction, the taxpaying end OF
the .business!"
"Here's some cheese" murmured
Mrs. Spoopendyke, "and a pie and
some smoked beef and some herring,
and"
"Havea't We got some salt some
where?'. Kissed Mr.. Spoopendyke,
planting the bologna on ind IN the
center Of the pie. "How'mI to quench
my thirst after eating all tbs truck
unless I have salt? Where's the mus
tard that goes with these mercles?"
and Mr.. Spoopendyke dove down into
the package of beef and scattered the
contents over his wife's lap. "Ill bet
the bologna can whip the cheeso in four
roundsl" he yelled, hauling the offend
ing sausage out of the pie, and Ja5b'ng
it through tie cheese. "Hurrayl NoW
we'll sponge him off with the herring
for the next round!' and Mr.. Spoopen'
dyke seized a fish by the tail n
slammed it into the basket.
"Here's a Charlotte, and a. COM
menced Mrs. Spoopendyke. .
"Hand me the blushing Charlotte !!
howleL Mr.. Spoopendyke, who nan
fixed his mind on old chicken, and saw
no realization of his anticipatlons.
"Show me the Charlotte just budding
into womanhood, and she shall have
the piel Give me-hey! What's
that?"
"This is a can of beans r exclaimed
Mrs. Spoopendyke, Frightening a little:
"You know you always liked beans"
"Let's have 'eml" growled MI.
spoopendyke, reaching for them.
What have you got to open them
withP"
"Pm afraid l left the can-opener
home" whispered Mrs. Spoopendyke,
rummaging through the basket.
"How dye to propose to open 'em,
then ?" roared Mr.. Spoopendyke, tting
his teeth and breathing hard. "ShoW
me the spring that bust this cover off
Guide me to the combination of this
! stem-winding can of beans Maybe
this'n do it /" and Mr.. Spoopendyke
again grabbed the sausage and went
for the can. "How'm I getting on?'
he yelled, as the bologna flew in all
directions. "Think you begin to smell
those beans any more plainly than you
did? Wa-h-h I" he shrieked, as &
huge chunk of the pork broke off short
and landed in his ear "1his doc
easted hog don't know who he's fool
ing with Let me introduce you tt
Spoopendyke p and he ground the
sausage fat against the can and
dropped the debris on the floor.
II don't know what we're going tx
do I" murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke ir
great distress.
"Now watch the triumph Of mint
over beans |" howled Mr.. ~spoopendyke
bringing the window down on the can
Mrs. S~poopendyke lodged just il
time, and her unfortunate spous'
caught the bean part of the feast fairl!
in front, and was covered from hi
eyebrows to his ankles.
.That what ye wanted 7" he gasped
as the full extent of the calamit..
dawned on him. "That what ye beer
irving to get me to do? bod CAST tn
measly beans !" and MI. Spoopendyk'
made for the smoking-ear and wa
seen no moro till dark.
"I don't care" soliloquized Mrs
Spoopendyke, assuring herself that th
Charlotte had not teen in 'ured. "H
might have waited a moment, and h
would have had some cold chicken
But. of course, if he made a lunch OF
beans he won't care for anything else.
And with this consolatory reflection
Mrs. Spoopendyke ate the chicken an
Charlotte in alternate bits, and com
posed herself for a comfortable nap
Ston1eu Ell uatLeu