The Labor enquirer., 1883-01-06
STRAY CLIPPINGS.

good many postage stamps to carry
him through successfully
Several of our exchanges are. now
clamoring for congressman at large
Aren't there too many of them at large
already \
Young lady. 4And who comes after
Ester?' "a pause.) rs it Job7" Pupil:
mo, miss; Billy Piper's big brother; I
see him Sunday ~ {H...
Unhappy thought. t.-Tommy: gazing
at the stars: 81 mean to be an astrono-
mer when 1 grow up" Efie: 'fWhat
on earth will you do with yourself all
daylong?'' : "# va. .EE4
4 Glass in definitions .-"What is a mo-
lnopoly?" "That rival establishment
over the way" "When is monopoly,
not monopoly" "When it IS in your
own hands" NV.
An exchange prints an article entitled,
How to Distinguish Smallpox" But no
one wants to distinguish smallpox
What the public want to know is how to
extinguish it.
A Chinaman would rather fly a kite
than 60 on drunk, tear down doors and
thump a bartender. And yet some
people regard the Chinese as an intel
lectual equal of the white man.
Tommy" said a mother to a seven
vear-old boy, "you must not interrupt
me when l am talking with ladies. You
must wait till we stop. and then you can
talk" But you never STOP" retorted
the boy.
But I pass" said a minister recently,
in dismissing one theme, of his subject to
take up another. Then 1 make it
spades," yelled man from the gallery
who was dreaming the heavy hours away
in an imaginary game of euchre. 1t is
needless to say that he went out on the
next deal, assisted by one of the deacons
. Orpheus drew rocks by the all-com
pelling power Of his music. The music
of the harmless, necessary cat is still
more potent. 1t not only draws rocks
but pokers, booGacks, and. all sorts O.
movable furniture.
Rev. Mr. F. rode twenty-five miles il
the most furious storm imaginable tt
marry wealthy young farmer, and re
ceived a seven-and-siXpenny piece fol
his fee. -.
A western paper, recording the exploit
of bloodhound in an "Uncle Toms
Cabin" company, that lately broke his
bonds and killed the donkey of the
troupe, remarks the dog was rather mean
to pick out the best actor in the COM
pany.
DIR. W. on one occasion received no fee
for marrying a parsimonious couple, and
meeting them several months after>at a
social gathering, took up their baby and
exclaimed, Il believe l have a mortgage
on this child" Baby's papa, rather than
have an explanation before the company
quietly handed over V.
An intelligent contraband of tender
years, has been lately going the round of
the stores down south with paper con
tanning the following: "The friends and
acquaintanoes of Mrs. Mary Ann Brown
departed this life April 81, aged SO years.
You are requested to bestow upon her
your charity, as she has not means enough
to bury herself with"
An ancient maiden lady in passing the
Continental hotel was suddenly stopped
and tenderly embraced by young man
who called her Mrs. Blank. 1t was soon
explained that the man had mistaken
her TOR a relative, and the spinste1
passed on satisfied. While telling the
incident a friend exclaimed, sympa'
thizingly Dear me, how embarrass-
ing" "Not at all" was the unexpected
reply, 81 found it very refreshing"
A Georgia woman with tears in her
eyes begged to carry her small dog with
her in the cars; but the brakeman in,
sisted on kicking the dog out. A drum,
mer interfered and told the brakeman
to wait until he came back. The brake,
man agreed to do this, and in few
moments the commercial traveller re-
turned with a valise, put the dog in,
letting his head stick out of hole he
cut in the side of the valise and deposited
both by the side of the old lady. They