Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-01-25

HOW HE EMBARRASSED A GROCERY MAN.

bON tiE EABAhtSASsfD GkttEkN MAN
Are you Christian ?" asked the bad boy
OF the grocery man, as the gentleman was
placing vegetables out in front Of the gro
Gerry one morning. "Well. hope So" an
swered the grocery man. IL try to do what
is right, and hope to wear the golden crown
when the time comes to close nv books.
Then how is 1t that you put out box Of
great bls sweet potatoes, and when We order
some and the, come 10 the table, they are
little bits of things, not bigger than rad
ish DO YOU expect to 20 TO heaven on
such small potatoes. when you use big ones
for sIgn?" asked the boy, as he took out
a silk handkerchief and brushed a speck Of
dust of his nicely backed shoes. The
grocery man blushed and said he did not
mean to take any such advantage of his Gus
toners. He said il must have been a mis-
take OF the boy who delivered the groceries.
Then YOU must hire the boy TO make mis-
takes, for Il has been every time We have
had sweet potatoes for FIVE Years" said the
boy. And about green corn. You have
few ears stripped down to snow tIpw nice
and plump 1t Is, and If We order dozen
ears. there are only two tnat have got any
corn on at all and pa and ma gets them, and
the rest of Us have to chew Cubs. DO YOU
hope 70 wear a crown Of glory on that kind
OF corn ?" -'O, such things will happen"
said the grocery man with a laugh. but
don't lets talk heaven. Let's talk about
the other place. How's thing. over To the
hauss 7 And say. what's the matter with
you? You are all dressed up, and have got
a clean shirt on. and your shoes hlackrd,
and notice lour pants are not raseled Out
50 at the bottoms Of the legs behind. You
are not IN love, are YOU ?" "WelI. ! should
smile. said tie boy. as hc looked IL a small
mirror on the counter. covered with II,
spcck,. "A giri got mashed on me. aud ma
,ay, II Is good for boy Who hasn't got no
sister 70 be In love with girl. and 20 | Kind
of iumhcd 70 1t myself, and she don', 70
nowhere without 20 with her. take her
ID dancing school and everywhere. aud shc
loves me Ike 4 house ahre SAY, was YOU
ever IN love Makes fellow fee queer,
don'tu2 We'll III. the first time | srut
home With her put IN, arm around her.
ana honest, It scared ms Il va, Ike when
You taAc hold Of the handle, OF icctrlc
batter, and you cant let 20 tIi the man
turn, the KNOT. Honest. vas jl,t a, wcak
a cat. thought she had needle, IN her
bct. and nAs goiug u take my arm away,
but II Wa JHNt Ike 1t vas glued on.
askrd her Il she felt that aaN. too. au.! str
sad she used ID. hat 1t VA, nothing ahtu
Suu got used To II. That made m. maxi
But She j. older than me and knows more
about II. When sas gntns 10 leave her at
The gate she kissed me. and that Was worse
than puuing my arms around her Is,
gosh, | tr"mhicd all over Just like | had the
chill~. but | wls as warm a, toast didn't
want Ia 20 home Al all, but she S4.d Il Would
be- the best whN for me to gu home. and
come agaIu the next daN aud next morn
ing ] vent up to her house before an, OF
Them avG- up, and hex pa came out ID cl
tile cat III. ana asked MN vhai time Nj,
glri ~; up. and he .aifrd and SAID | had s.t
Il hAi. and that hAd better ~ home anl
not he picked until | gu' ripe Sa>. hos
much does u ,p-i to gci marciri HI .WtU,
| >nolta "a, Suu had. got II bad. ,AiI the
grocery man he set out basket of bcei..
"lnur getting ia .u,r Viii be i great th.ns
fur Your pa. You Won't have any time to
pia, any morc Jnkrs un him. 20 guess
W can find time 10 Keep pa trum being
lonesome. Have you seen him tnls muru-
lng luH ought ~ have seen him last I'll Kit.
YOU see, my chums pa has got setter dog
stuffed. II T. uu- that died tan wear, ago,
ana he thought great deal Oi ii, and he
had Il stuffed for an ornament. Well. my
chum and ms took the dng ana put II On
oar front steps, and took some cotton and
fastened Il to the dogs mouth 30 II looked
Ju~t Ike tr1th and got behind the door
and u 4ited for pa 10 come home from the
theatre " hen PA started 10 come Az the
steps | groUird, ana pa looked a,
the dog, and sad. Mad dog by crlmus.'
and hr started down thc Sidewalk, aul
my chum baIked just Ike dog. and
| kNII and grusird Ike dog that
get, sl.Ard. Aod .ou o-sht u ,ee pa run.
IT, aen, around IN the allie, and va, gong
N Eet IN the basement window. and mt
chum had revolver with some blank car
tf.d.e> and we sent down N the basement,
aud when my chum began 10 fire toward
pa. pa no.lered that it wa, only him and not
a burglar. but after my chum fired four Shot,
pa ran aEl climbed over the fence and then
We lunk the dn- home and | STAYED with my
chum al night. and this morning ma sald pa
didn get home tili ! O'Clock and then
policeman came with him, and pa talked
abou, mad dog, ,nd being taken for burg
lar and nearly killed. and she sad she va,
dlidiu pa ildtl tDbA 70 uIluhlHS again, ana
she asked me il had heard any hrug OF
guns, and | sand no. and then she put a
vet towel OIL pa, head" You ought 10 be
ashamed. sald the grocery man. How does
your pa ike YOUR being IN love with the
girl Does he seem 10 encourage YOU IN lt''
''Oh YES. She was up 10 our house 10 bor-
r, some tea. and pa patted her on the cheek
aud hugged her, aud said she was dear
little dalsN, and wanted her 10 al on his
lap. hut when | wanted him to buy her some
ice cream. he said that was all nonsense.
He sald Look at your una. Eating ice
cream when she was a girl was what injured
her health for life. | asked ma about IL,
and she said pa never laid out 10 cents for
ice cream or any luxury I'M her in all the
five wears he was sparkling ner. She says
he took her 10 a circus once, hut he got free
tickets for carrying water TO the elephants.
She SAYS pa vas tighter than the bark to
tree. tell you its gong to be different
with me. II there is ANYTHING that my girl
wants she is going to have 1t if have TO
sell mas copper boiler to get the money.
What is the use of having wealth if you
hoard il up and can't ENJOY it This family
will be run on different plans hereafter,
YOU bet. Say, how much are those yellow
pocket combs in the show case ? I've
good notion 10 buy them for her How
would one of them round mirrors, with
zinc cover, do for a present 10 girl?
There's nothing that is too good for her."