davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

We read frequently of some person
whose hair has turned white in single
night through grief or fear, but the
white-haired man who goes into bar
ber-shop and come out in half an hour
with hair and whiskers black as the
ravens wing never gets line in the
paper.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

A young widow in Brooklyn re-
ceived $4,000 insurance on her hus-
bands life and handed it over to a law
yer to invest. He built him a house
with it and is SO mean that he won't
even let the widow in to zee how it looks.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06
On TuIRTY DAYS TRIAL.

THE VoLTMC BELT Co, MrshqH, Mich
will send Or. Dyes celebrated Electro.
Violate Belts aud Electric Appliances on
trial for thirty days 10 men young or old
who are afflicted with nervous debility,
lost vitality and kindred troubles, guaran-
tccing speedy and complete restoration OF
heslth and manly vigor. Address As above.
NB-No risk is incurred, as thirty days
trial i allowed.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

An English Veterinary Surgeon, now In
this country. says that SAeridaa's CdUdiry
Condition Polrders are superior to any he
knows OF In England, as they are absolute
~ pure. He denounces the large package
fraud and warns people not To buy them.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06
JOSH Billings HEARD FROM.

NEWPORT, Il. l.. Aug. IL, 80.
Dear BiHerS-I am heie trying to breathe
in all the salt air OF the ocean, and having
been sufferer for more than year with q
refractory liver, was induced to mix Hop
Bitters with the sea gale, and have found the
tlncture glorious result. ! have
been greatly helped by the Bitters, and am
not afraid TO say so.
Yours without a struggle,
JoSu RITIINCS
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

PERUVIAN SYRUP cures Dyspepsia, Gen
eral Debility, Liver Complaint Humors,
Boils, Chronic DiarrhGa, Nervous Ahec-
lions, Female Complaints, and all diseases
originating in bad state OF the blood.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

II Is no wonder Englishmen grow so
stout. They have been known, in individ-
ual cases, To gain over 30 pounds in one
weck-betting on horse races.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

DR. /. ). Johnson & Co. OF Bangor, Me,
proprietors OF JohHSon'S IRodyHe LiRimeHi
will send free TO all who will write for 1t,
reliable information how to prevent diph-
iberia, the most 20 be dreaded OF all dread
ful diseases. Write your name, post-olll
address, county aud State plainly.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

1t was written: Good for nervousness
is a characteristic of celery" but the in
telligent compositor rendered it, Good
for-nothingness is characteristic of the
clergy"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

"Oh, why don't you name your beautiful
little dog Lily Langtry|" asked Oscar
Wilde of n New York belle. " Because"
murmured the young lady, His name is
Jack"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

We do not sound needless alarm when
we tell you that the faint OF scrofula Is In
your blood. Inherited or acquired 1t is
there, and Ayers Sarsaparilla alone will
effectually eradicate IL.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

a. give you my word that am speaking
the truth" said man 10 his wife. "Oi
course you give me your word, she re-
torted bitterly, because no one else will
take IL "
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

Washington has "comet parties" "a
good idea, by Jupiter SAYS young Spinks.
..for the boys can now planet 10 get the
girls away from their Mars"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

There Is town in Dakota named Bill
ings II is named after the great Josh,
but it hasn't had bad spell since it was
founded
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06
AYERS
Hair Vigor

restores, with the gloss and freshness Of you'll,
faded or gray hair TO a natural rich brown color
or deep black, as may be desired By It's use light
or red hair may be darkened, thin hair thickeusd
and badness often, though not always. cured.
IL checks falling OF the hair and stimulates a
weak and siekly growth 10 vgor. Itpreyeuts AMI
cures seurf and dandruiT. aud heals nearly every
disease peculiar to the scalp Asa Ladies' Hair
Dressing, the vIGoR Is unequalled. il contains
neither oil nor dye. renders the hair soft. glossy
and silken In appearance, aud impar,s a delicate.
agreeable, and lasting perfume.
Mr.. G. p. BRIcHER writes from KirBy. o J,ly
8, lse2 Last fall my hair commenced falling
out, and Ia = short time became nearly bald
used part OF bottle of AYERS HAIR NfGOR
which stopped the falling OF the hair and started
new growth. have now full head OF hair
growing vigorously, and am convinced that hut
entirely bald
j. W. bowen proprietor Of the BE Irfblr fOki9)
Enqrirer, says :. AyER's HAIR VIGoR Is most
excellent preparation for the hair. speak Of n
from my own experiences Its use promotes the
growth Of new hair, and makes il glossy aud soft
The NTGoR is also q sure cure for dandruR Not
within my knowledge has the preparation ever
JAILED 70 give entire satisfaction"
Mr., ANGCs FARBAiRx leader Of the ccle.
orateu fairbairn Family of Scottish NDcalists
sS'sfD"s aitss., REQ. n, lreii - liver
since my hair began to give slyery evidence Of Tho
change which iieeting time procureth. have used
AYERS HAIR VIGOR, and SO have been able TO
maintain an appearance Of youthfulness mat
yer OF considerable consequence TO ministers,
orators, actors, and in fact every one who lives i
the eyes Of the publiep
MRS. q. A. Prescott writing from Is En-, 81
thdrtesotrH, Mass, Aprii II, lss2 saws Two
years ago about two-thirds Of my hair came off.
~ thinned very rapidly. and was fast growing
paid. On using AYERS HAIR yiGOR the falling
stopped and new growth commenced and in
ABOUT month my head was completely covered
with snort hair IL has continued % grow. and is
now as good as before II fell regularly used but
one bottle OF the ylGoR, but now use it OCCASION
ally as dressing"
We have hundreds Of similar testimonials 10 the
emcacy OF AYERS HAIR yIGoR. II needs but 4
trial to convince the most skeptical Of It's value.
PREPARED BY
DR.. j. G. Aver & Co., Lowell, Mass.
Sold by all Druggists.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06
A TRtE FRIEND

The Boston Post has no hesitation In
saving that Michigan women get married
so as 20 keep a man about the house TO
scare away tramps.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

"wheat Bitters" never disturb the
stomach, but promote digestion and nour-
ishment.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

What is the difference between a sealskir
hat and vivid Imagination? One is a
fancy fur tile and the other Is fertile fancy.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

Children in Hungary, it is said, are
taught seven languages. Well, we should
think they might easily acquire to or three
more in half the time it takes them to
learn their own.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

Many who never complain are never
theless seriously Ill. Use Browns Iron
Bitters and there will be no cause OF com.
plaiut
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

The longer man lives the more he knows
that he don't know much.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

-Sophronia-" What is philosophy" II is
something which enables rich man to say
there is no disgrace in being poor.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

&s-Make your old things look like new
by using the Diamond Dyes, and you will
be happy. Any OF the fashionable colors
for lOc
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

- BUCHU-PAIBA."
Quick, complete cure, all annoying Kid
ney, Bladder aud Urinary Diseases. 81.
Druggists
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

A man does not fear being locked up for
getting too full. He thinks his friends will
bail him out.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

Not all tramps should be discouraged
the letter carrier for instance.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

mans stomach never troubles him un'
less he first begins the difficulty.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06
USE ONLY
RUBBER PAINTS.
S. P. MAXIM { SON, ACTS
USE ONLY
SOUTH PARIS.

u
N. B. We desire 10 call special attention to the
SUPERIOR QUALITIES OF this paint. During the
past Two years over FOUR HUNDRED gallons of IL
have been used in THIS VICINITY, giving in EVERY
INSTANCE the very best OF satisfaction
Ii Ia well known that the best lead and oil, mix
ed in the usual way will in short time lose It's
gloss and rub of or chalk. Rubber Paint lie guar.
antAed not TO CRACK, CHALK, OR PEEL.
We are aware Of great prejudice against m TX
ed paints but We confidently recommend this, be
lieving Il to be the most beautiful durable and
economical paint IN the market.
Remember this Rubber Paint 10 composed of
pure White Lead, Zinc, Linseed Oil and India
Rubber: with the best coloriDg pigments that can
be obtained, ground in. careful examination
Of buildings on which Il has been used will con-
vince the most skeptical OF Its merits.
We refer to the following parties who have us
ed our paint viz:
J. c. Marble, o. A. Maxim. j. Daniels. Paris
Hill: Nd. Cqshman. North Paris. 8. r. Briggs.R &.
ings, SO. Paris. A. n Trull Norway
Send for circular and price list.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06

good name at home is tower OF strength
abroad. Ten times as much HOODS safss
parilla used in Lowell as OF any other.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-06
I lIhLGlIllS.

J I IIILU III Y,
itrr ,.fs IN
rry Iar .'s 1t t @
frs-ir b.. tnv --urc
lurtls ttur-h tFc
Do vt. uc al
cleansing ana
ItaIE- thr a,sfl e.
ltl .rFr
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-15
Tall Men and Short.

Fair men may derive some satisfac-
ton from being told, on the authority
of Sir Rawson and the "anthropometlic
committee represented by him at the
meeting of the British association, that
the greater number of criminals are Of
dark complexion. But dark men may
triumph in their turn when Sir Rawson
goes on to say that lunatics are for the
most part fair; truth which the late
M. fletcher had probably in view when
he determined to present Hamlet in a
wig. Tall men, again, will be interest
ed to hear that criminals and lunatics
classed together are two inches shorter
that the rest of the population; and
against this there is nothing i'll the
way of consolation to offer short men
except-what in most cases they al
ready knew-that the people OF Spain,
Italy and France are shorter than those
of the northern countries. That tall
men, however, are not absolutely per-
feet is suggested, if not ab,oluttly
proved, by the fact as alleged by the
spokesman of the anthropometric com
ruittee, that among the tallest people in
Europe are the Irish. The tallness OF
the Irish IS ou5 OF harmony, moreover,
with the argument that the shortness
of short people is to be accounted for
by their having been insuiliciently fed,
clothed and housed when young. The
facts and figures put forward by the
anthropometric committee are very
confusing: and no reasonable conclu-
sion can be drawn from them. This con-
fusion would be worse cOnfOunded !"
if, instead of dealing with races the an
thropometric committee were TO deal
with selected individuals. The Ger
man Emperor, Prince Bismarck, Count
Moitke are all tall, and many of the
superior officers of the Pyussian army
are giants. The Duke of Wellington,
on the other hand was rather below the
middle height, while Nelson and Ma
poleon were decidedly short.-!St.
james Gazette.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-15

chop-sticks, curving it between the fin
gers till it forms something like spoon,
and scooping up the food with it, eating
spoon and all The very old people
and the lower classes use tortillas alto
gether, instead of knives, forks, or
spoons, the latter being of compare
lively recent introduction. 1t requires
considerable practice to successfully
manage the tortilla scoop, as L have
learned from sad experience
After tire meal is finished, and ut in
tervals during its progress if one feels
so inclined, the mouth is filled with
water from the goblet, rinsed wit more
or less emphasis between the teeth, and
then spurted upon the floor. In this
process all become expert, from the
lady of the house to the smallest child.
When fresher water is required that In
the glasses is carelessly tossed upon the
dirt floor, where it does no harm. -
Cor. Indianapolis journal.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-15
Miss Understands Romance.
BY NJ. C. FARLEY.

It was an old, old hou.e. Teddy
looked up at the many gabled, moss
grown roof and the faded red-brick
walls with feelings of both anger and
sorrow.
He was the only heir. In the natural
course of events Wickersham farm and
the old ivy-grown mansion, built in
Colonial times, would be his own, pro-
viding he did nothing to offend his aunt,
the present incumbent.
Teddy groaned inwardly at the recol-
iection. For two and twenty years
Miss Wickersham had been q mother
TO him. If some people declared that
Miss Wickersham had no heart, and
was proud and overbearing III DISPOSE
ton and hard to please-her nephew at
least had never been made to feel that
side of her nature until now.
Some six months previous Mai. Willis
had returned from Europe with his
daughter, and settled down quietly ut
Fern Fields, a tumble-down old manor
house, which report said was all there
left to him of the once great Willis fort
une.
The Major had lived abroad the bet
ter part of his life. His child had been
born ON foreign land, and his wife was
buried there. Still. for some .un-
known reason, he bad gathered togeth-
er the remnants of his once splendid
fortune, and, coming home to Fern
Fields, was now Miss Wickersham's
nearest neighbor.
From the very day of the Majors re-
turn TO the home of his boyhood, Miss
Wickersham had persistently ignored
him. Fern Fields, she SAID, was Moth
ing to her-she wanted nothing what
ever to do with the people who lived
there, and cautioned her nephew, upon
pain of her displeasure, never to have
the slightest intercourse with the Willis
family All went smoothly for short
time, men, in some unaccountable
manner, Teddy and the Majors dauSh-
ter Glanced to meet, and Ted fell head
over heels in love with her ut first sight.
What was his CONSERVATION to find,
upon acquainting his aunt with the
turn of affairs, that she suddenly flew
into violent passion and ordered him
never to speak to the young lady again.
IT. was all very easy for Miss Wicker
sham to execute such command, but
it was simply impossible for Teddy to
obey it,
There we're stolen interviews and
long walks 10y the riverside, and many
an hour was spent in company with the
Major himself, when Ted found it I'M
possible to inveigle the young lady out
of doors. Of course there could he
but one ending to the affair. Recklessly
Ted proposed, was accepted, and the
MAJOR gave them both his paternal
blessing.
Proud and happy the young man
went home to his aunt and told her
plainly what he had done, not doubling
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-15
Mexican Table Customs.

During eight months residence in
Mexico, have not seen bit of butter,
potato. egg cooked 10y itself, chop or
steak, tea, sauce, cake, pie or pudding,
or those ordinary vegetables which we
consider Indispensable. Napkins are
rarely used each person wiping his or
her face and hands on that portion of
the table-cloth which is nearest, and
,afterward patronizing one Of the before
mentioned corner wash-stands. Eating
with the fork is not Mt all according to
etiquette, but the knife or spoon must
be used-or more properly a tortilla.
Mexicans manage the latter with as
much dexterity as the Chinese does his
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-15
Among the MeXicanS.

Newcomers in the City of Mexico are
surprised on finding so many of the
conveniences common to large cities at
home, such as the telephone, the cleo
trio light, a police force and on excel
lent street-car service. The electric
lights are on the tops of iron rods run
aing up from the gas-lamp posts. The
police are far more soldierly than the
regular army of the country. They wear
blue flannel suit, the coat buttoned
up. and their cap has covering of
white, which, with the standing linen
collar, is always immaculate. In their
belts on one side they carry club and
on the other a large revolver. If one
wishes to see policeman he has only
to go to the nearest corner and he will
surely find him standing there, for he
has 10 beat to walk over. The speed
at which street cars go is astonishing.
They dash along as fast as mules can
pull them, and they approach cor
ner the driver gives loud toot on a
horn for tho purpose of warming people
on the crossing to get out of the way.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-15
They Walked.

Jim Lee and Ned Fox, two pious
merchant travellers, were going to their
rooms on the fourth floor of the
hotel, and IN the elevator WAS great
big Texan and his bride. They were
quite raw, and the elevator boy and the
NJ. It's got on to it, and just at the
second floor, Fox got over to the rope
and stopped the elevator.
Hello said the Texan. what's
busted i'll the machinery? Is the IN
CINE off the track?"
mo, no." replied Lee, "only cog
come loose in the rachel. 1t happens
that way every now and then"
"How long does she hang tire?"
Cant say; the last time we waited
four days before We got up"
-Four days? Thunderation. Sal, we
can't stand that. We've got to ketch
that train to-morrer mornin' as 9 o'clock,
and il this blasted litter is goin' to
hang here between roof and bottom for
four days, We'll have to drop out and
walk up them dang stair steps if we
air payin'. 80 a day. Come on, Sal
Much obliged, stranger, for the pints
you've give u.s." and he and his bride
got out and walked.-Merchant- Ira D.
eIer.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-15
Bedsteads for Kings.

Some time last year there was a
wooden bedstead manufactured which
was intended for the use of the King of
Siam 1t was fourteen feet wide, and
divided into three parts, the center part
being raised about eighteen inches.
This piece of furniture, being of such
unusual dimensions, caused a slight
sensation among all those who were
permitted to examine it. But the bed
stead made in Paris, lately, for an In
dian Prince, would draw thousands to
see it were it exhibited in New York,
even if fancy prices were charged foI
admission. The bedstead is partly made
of real silver and cost many thousands
of dollars. At each corner stands a
beautifully nodded female figure Cife-
size) holding delicately constructed
fan. Zach figure. it is said, wears a
wig of real hair. This is to be reg.
ularly dressed" by the court barber,
once week. On the great potentate
getting into bed, the weight of his body
sets certain machinery in motion, the
effect of which is, that so long as his
Royal Highness enjoys his. horizontal
refreshmcnt, the silver maidons gently
fan the sleeper. If the figures at the
foot Of the bed are required to exert
themselves in Il like manner, this can
be accomplished by the aid of clock
like apparatus. Moreover, should the
dusky owner of the bed wish to be
lulled to slumber by the dulcet sounds
of soft music, this can be done by
touching n spring. The bottom of the
bed contains a large musical box, which
is so arranged that the tunes can he
loud or soft as desired.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-15
HUMOR.
from Texas Siftings.I


STRENGTH and health go together
with the exception of butter.
BEEcHER allows the use OF his auto
graph on q soap advertisement. That
Is one the cleanest things Beecher ever
did.
THERE is marked similarity be-
tween beefsteak and printers
take" At times both are unusually
"fat."
nj. WORTH, the Partisan fashion
king, is bald-headed. That's what
happens TO man who makes so many
feminine insists.
REV. DIR. TALMAGE says the sermon
of the future will be sensational. If
Talmage's sermons of the present are
not sensational, heaven help posterity
in the future.
A TEXAS horse-thief is said to have
recently been riddled with shot. Speak
ing from pure, personal experience, we
candidly declare that this is much bet
ter than being shot with riddles.
If man in Pennsylvania says: "This
is my wife," the law considers him mar
ried. So if married actor Frances in
from left-second entrance, and wildly
shrieks, "S'death. villain This is my
wife!" he commits bigamy. Travelling
troupes, and other barn stormers, now
en- route for Pennsylvania, will please
take notice and govern themselves ac-
cordingly.
The Pinchbeck family, of Austin, is
considered one of the meanest, stingiest
and close-fsted of any in Texas. One
night a new baby made its expected
appearance in the Pinchbeck family,
and when Johnny Fizzletop heard the
news, he said: "Golly won't that baby
be surprised when it comes to find out
what kind of stingy crowd he has got
in amongst"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-15
Perry's IS Singing Birds"

Perry was rich planter in the Pa
tuxent valley, with broad vein of
humor. The broad, deep Patuxent
afforded an excellent cruising ground
to the British fleet after it had landed
the British troops. One day, while the
British ships were lying in the river,
Perry got wellsfilled hornets nest,
plugged up its openings, put on his
working clothes and rowed up to the
flagship. In the uncouth local dialect
he offered the gray ball TO the young
officers as nest full of rare singing
birds of remarkable voice, of unusual
intelligence and warm attachments.
The officers dubbed together and
offered guinea for his birds. This he
gratefully accepted and then handed
the hest to the unsuspectipg young
men. He suggested to them that it
would be wei not to open the nest till
he got to shole, inasmuch as the
affectionatc little things might follow
their old fr end. This was an excellent
suggestion. To make sure the officers
took the nest into the cabin and shut
the doors, leaving marine on deck to
catch Perrys signal. As soon as Perry
felt sure of his retreat on the shore he
gave the marine the signal. At the
word the officers opened the nest, and,
without any unnecessary delay, the
cabin door also. With somewhat un-
dignified haste, officers. marines and
seamen swarmed to the bulwarks, and
then over the side, in comical confu-
sion, closely followed by Perry's
affectionate little singing birds. Perry
laughed till he cried, rs one by one the
Britishers sought the cool shelter of
the placid Patuxent.-IVdshington let
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-15

A little grandson of Mrs. Andrews
was attempting to build n three-legged
stool, when he looked up to her and
said
Grandma, does God see every
thing?"
"Yes. my son." she replied, God is
everywhere and sees every act of our
lives"
well. by jingo," said the boy, won't
he laugh when no sees this stool. -
Carl Pretzeis Weekly.