Connecticut western news., 1883-05-30

shudders, and says "that thing will carry the General off one of these days"
 I would not be surprised. It Is big enough to carry off rhinoceros. Bur dette.
 A WESTERN PICNIC.
 You take, for instance, these picnics they have in small towns, where from fifty to hundred families unite and go out to some quiet, secluded spot, taking with them beer enough to float steam boat, while all the young men in the party who are afraid they won't get enough of the beer have their coat-tall pockets full of bottles containing dark, ominous looking liquid that kills at forty rods. We don't suppose there has been ten out of hundred of these styles of picnics held in the towns of the country but what have ended in free fight, or at least half the men of the party have gone home with their clothes spoiled, their noses put out of joint, and their heads tied up in shawls and packed in ice. The picnies of this kind always open up all right enough. The married folks of the party sit around in the shade enjoying themselves, drinking beer, and eating lunch mixed with ants, flies and other vermin, while the young folks stroll around in the woods and make love on the half shell, while occasionally the young men slip behind the trees away from the girls and take sly nips out of their bottles, and when the "boys" come into camp pretty "full, /" and get to mix ing the beer with the whisky they have drank, it is bound to make them boil. and spelling for 0 fight, they quarrel among themselves, and the first thing they know they don't know anything scarcely, and the women folks of the party are obliged to pilot the disgusted party home.-Peck's Sun.
 THE PRESIDENTS LITTLE JOKE. N President Arthur is fond of playing practical jokes. A party of MT. Arthur's friends were at the White House on visit. The President had shown them through the building. Coming through the East room, or general recep- ton room, MT. Arthur halted and said in the most serious manner:
 'sDo you see that colored man stand ing over there?" pointing to well pre- served specimen of the African race.
 "Well," continued the host, he has 8 most remarkable history"
 "How SOP" . "Guess," said MT. Arthur.
 "An exiled king ?" said bewitching young lady member of the party.
 'An ex-Street Commissioner ob- servd practical Wall street broker.
 Neither" said the President. "Lis- ten: He has been sold into slavery over 700 times"
 Impossible.
 "Fact, assure you, said MT. Arthur.
 The colored man was called over and questioned:
 "My good man," said the Wall street broker, ''is it true that you have been sold in slavery more than 700 times ?" The colored representative showed his white teeth and bowed.
 Remarkable" was the general re- sponse.
 "What are you doing now?" was asked.
 "Well, boss, I'm travelling with Uncle Toms Cabin Company. I am put on the auction block every night and sold. y
 GEORGIA MANS REVENGE.
 It was bleak, raw April day as we ran down into South Carolina, says 7he Detroit Free Press man. There was no fire in the coach, nor would there have been need of any if the windows could have been kept down. A chap from Quitman, Ga, who had lately peeled otl his fiannels, and who felt as cold as a sheared lamb, succeeded, after a while, in getting all the windows down but one. That was on the right hand side, third seat from the front, and the seat was oc- cupied by fat man with 8 red face.
 "Sir, won't you please lower that win dow?" asked the Georgian. "What for p
 "To keep out the cold"
 "I'm none too cold" . "But it lets dust in."
 "I have no objections to dust. Nothing further was said, but tht z Georgian presently opened the stov' , door and took out about pint of ashe' and wrapped them up, and at the mex station he dropped off the car and tool
 the one ahead. Ten minutes after start
 ing up the train entered deep cut, ana \ the fat man was observed to bob of hi seat and dig his eyes and jump up ant down as if he had hornets in his boo legs. Indeed, he swore-swore blacl
 and blue and green. He swore he'd SUI the company, and he swore he'd kill thu
 engineer, and it was 8 good two hour
 before he could open one eye wide enougl to find that in his first moment of sur
 prise his gold spectacles had fallen of . and he had trampled them under foot ,v "I wonder what got into his eyes | I asked of the Georgian. ,' "Lime, reckon, as we were rlnnin
 through limestone cut just then," h calmly replied as he looked up from hi
 paper.