The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-07-11
WIT AND PLEA,AaTRY.

n n,
how old they make thing so queer
Did It grow while we were fast asleep,
Like the grass aud the geese and the pretty sheepl
To nave something new for his caravan?
IL walks ike chicken. Can il fly?
Will you tell me all about il by and-by?"
There's little 20 tell, my caild. IT'S plaiu-
lis The toIm of man, With monkeys brain!"
Some mems vas always like der key-hol on
der bsok Of n clock. Dizzy vas behind time.
Carl Pretzel.
She sang, 81 want to be al angel" and he
swCre that che was one already. To this
she blushingly demurred. Then he mar
ried her. Demurrer sustained.
"Are you feeling very illf" asked the ply
stefan. "Let me see your tongue, please"
sits of no use. doctor" replied the patient;
"no tongue can tell how bad feel"
What is that big spot on the pavement
is it butter2 On, no, my son, it is too young
for butter. 1t is the man whose wife would
not let him take of his winter hsnnels.
Seud no more kisses dear By post
For, somehow, in their slow transition
They lose their sweet and tender mission.
Their bouquet gone. their favor vanished,
They seem like weary exiles banished.
A Cross Counter-Jack Oldstock-
We're very proud Of our ancestry you
know" Tom Parvenu-"Yes, 1 know; bat
i Harvard Lampoon.
An old lady. living up under Mansfield
mountain, remarked the other dsy, "Wsi,
it Is queer how these fremen burst their
hose az every fire. Pears likely they don't
wear good homespun socks"
maiden at Vassar
Was terrible gasser
And always paraded her learning;
Since her pa lost his rocks
Through q tumble of stocks,
She studies the science of churniug
-Wilismsport Breakfast Table.
Say, Pat, what ser made you go to work
for old Uncle Dan7 Hes the mesnest nan
in the country" "M4ne is III" said Pat;
why, shure an has the foinest, aisys5t-
goin' master liver had, bedad he gives
q man fifteen hours to DO days work in"
A good deacon not thousand miles from
| Oh City, being late al church where it was
his duty TO hold service, asked the congrsgs.
| tior TO excuse his hardness, "a he had bsen
I'D until late the night before opening the
finest lot Of dry.gooda ever bought in town.
ON City Derrick.
The young man wSs trying to play sober.
He sat with the young lady on the front
steps. He studied for e long time trying to
| find something that would illustrate his So
briefly. Finally he looked up and solennly
said: ''The(hic) moons as full as a goose;
amt itH"-Georgis Major.
Flats: Are French fats healthy Yes,
very. Are the people in them healthy No.
Wby2 They have to starve and go half
naked to pay the rent. Why are these flats
called French 1sts? To distinguish them
fIom American fats. What are American
fats2 The people who live in French fats.
Romantic gorges: "What do you think of
the Cuntain gorges, Mr.. Spicerfr Asked
Miss LsdybiTd Of her neighbor st the hotel
table. "Well. "sSid the young msn, thought
fully, as he looked about him, 81 think that
old anaconda 1T the head Of the table hs7
goTged himself about up TO the collar but.
ton"
Two gentlemen were talking the other
dsy about their success in life. One remark.
| ed that when he came TO Baltimore, Just af-
| ter the war, ne didn't have q second shirt to
his Rack. That's nothing" replied the
other. "When 1 came to Baltimore 1 did
not have any shirt to my back At all" He
wss born here-Bal:imore Every Sstur-
day.
He had at last screwed his courage to the
sticking point and had come determined ID
pop the question. els Miss Blsnk in3' ne
asked Of the new girl. ''Irdsds she Is that"
SIS che engagedf" "biess yr 80 III, but you u
think so if yez could see ter and young
man on the parlOr sofs just now. Do yez
wsnt to see herr" But he hal fe1.-Phila-
delphia News.
Two ladies were exchanging notes on the
method in which they spent thu day. "Yoa
see, alwa rs get up at ten, and ring for my
maid and get dressed" show long does it
take7' "oh, ever go long. Yol see the
| cir, takes full hour to do my hair" ga
| full hour2 Mercy What do you do while
she is fixing it2" "I go out in the garden
and take my morning walk"
$50 you dun got burned out on Hastings
street las night" queried one colored wo.
man of another IS tbey met on Monroe sv-
enue yesterday. 'Yes, do house dun burned
10 de groun'." wss the reply. "An' you lost.
cd eberytin'?" "All cspt one bsdstesd, two
chairs an do bewro.' "Shool Wal, dar';
one consolsshun. bout it, Mira. Bsbee, you
saved huff to begin spring house-cleanin
onl"
On Margin.
| Only WENT on margin,
| Big profits looming in view,
| When boom and SWEET of the market
A 1rrafll fnrf Than hQfd hat hrnnu oh