davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
National Republican., 1883-03-22

THAT corrugated old joke about the "old
Guard Medals" was taken down from its
hook again yesterday and inserted in the
Post. 1t is due to the regular readers of the
Post to explain that the repetition by that
journal of that and some half dozen other
soedy old witticisms is not intended for them,
but only for the strangers in the city. Old
readers who can prove that they have "lct
on" as though they were laughing one hun
dred and thirty-fve times over tho remains
of one of these old hip-shotten jokes are al
lowed to appear cold and Indifferent at its
recital
National Republican., 1883-03-22

IRISH refugees in the United States should
be wise and selfcontaincd, as most of them
are. Thus only can they command the sym,
pathy for their country to which its wrongs
entitle it, They may approve legitimate rev.
olutlon against England in the country which
derived its existence by revolution against
England, but our people abhor assassination,
arson, and all savagery. They may do any.
thing which England permitted the confed-
crates to do within her borders during our
rebellion. No more.
National Republican., 1883-03-22

SOME very small treasury clerk must have
been chatting the enterprising correspondent
Of the New York Tribune Secretary Folger
is not being prosecuted by any of his subor-
dinateS "high in authority" They politely
informed inquirors that they did not know of
tho secretary's movements, They could not
very well have replied otherwise to the in
quisitive gentlemen who seek information
with which to slake the public thirst The
return of the secretary yesterday came
about quito naturally, and only the
sensation mongers have done anything calcu-
lated to annoy or disturb him. They talked
National Republican., 1883-03-22

1T is very clear that in indorsing William
sprague the Rhode Island democracy com
promised no principle" for the collection
of Spragueites who first put him up made no
platform, and the democratic convention
made none. The conclusion would seem to
be that the sprague side of the campaign is
destitute of principles. Neither convention
declared even in favor of change in the
suffrage laws. The Sprague racket does not
yet convulse mankind.
National Republican., 1883-03-22

No. THE NATIONAL REPUBLICAN is not
thankful to the Tennessee bourbons for re-
pudating half of the debt of that state in
order that the fact may be thrown in the
faces of bourbon editors who falsely charge
rcpudiation upon Virginia; but, inasmuch
rs bourbons will not only sin themselves, but
SANDER their opponents, We confess to joy
ful feeling as We answer n bourbon SANDER
with bourbon confession of guilt.
National Republican., 1883-03-22
The Weather To-day.

Tor the middle Atlantic states, including The Dis.
fric Of Columbia ttarner, fair r,oiher, northeriy
1einds shifting 10 southerly Jolowed by stationary or
falling barometer.
On Friday cool, fair redter is indicated IN The cast
guy and south Atlantic states, and local rains or
snolps IN The ioirer lakes and New England.
Yesterdays thermometer.-7a. a. M. 22.0' II a. M,
2s5e 3p. m. $3.50; Up. M, s2,2o; II p, m, 27Oo;
maximum, 1862 minimum. 2OSo.
National Republican., 1883-03-22

IF Sprague, or either of the parties in
Rhode Island which nominated him, had only
indicated an opinion on the subject of ex-
tending the suffrage or on any other subject
equal rights for instance--thoro would be
room for some talk. But sprague and his
conventions being dumb we fear they are
only "oligarchs," Let us whimper,
National Republican., 1883-03-22

THE bold bourbons of Virginia swear that
the supreme court of the United States has
decided the Virginia debt question in favor OF
the readjuster side, and this being the case
they ask tho readjusters to choose bourbon
funder legislature just to show that read Just
ment was right and to repeal the coupon
killer acts and the Riddleberger funder law
To all of which the readjusters answer, Don't
let's"
National Republican., 1883-03-22

AN eye witness at the democratic nomina-
ton Of Sprague declares that when it was
over you could have heard pin drop. When
Butler gets through his affecting appeal for
sympathy with sprague on account of the
conduct Of his hard-hearted creditors, it is
not likely there will be moist eye in the
National Republican., 1883-03-22

A GREAT struggle is going on in Iowa to
convince tho supreme court that " rehearing
ought to be granted and the decision reversed
whereby it was held that the prohibition
amendment had never been constitutionally
incorporated in the state constitution.
National Republican., 1883-03-22

THE amateur cockneys on tho New York
Tribune and Times are struggling for pro-em-
inence in the business of defaming Irish pa
triots who have sought refuge in America.
The Tribune fellow is little ahead. His
friends claim that he can now drop his his
"more than 'arf the time"
National Republican., 1883-03-22

THE unfortunate democrats of Rhode Island
are to be piticd, indeed. Not only has sprague
saddled himself on them rs their candidate
for governor, but he has announced that his
lawyers, Gen. Butler and Roger A. Pryor, are
70 cavort on the stump. spragues law suit is
very interesting, but what has it to do with
..,li.;.,o
National Republican., 1883-03-22

THE attempt to suppress deSpotism by nj
hlism is like tanning u wild boar with spears;
but the attempt to suppress nihilism by more
dcspotism is like oxtinguishing fire with
coa1 oil
National Republican., 1883-03-22

mapped, when really he had only taken the
liberty of controlling his own movements for
two or three days. just as a Tribune man might
do When next he strs out of town he
should advertise for convention of Jonk-
nscs and submit tho proposition for their
nu..ru....l
National Republican., 1883-03-22
They are Locally Various.

The Buffalo Courier says S. ], Randall "does
not represent the views of the majority Of the
democratic party on the tariff question" and cam
not be speaker. It was supposed once that Gen.
Hancock represented the views of the democratic
party on the tariff but there has been some dis.
pute over his position, What are the views Of the
democratic party ON the tariff, anyway
National Republican., 1883-03-22
To CITY sItRscRIREI,s.

Tur DAILY RGruBLlCAN delivered hy carriers to
ery part Of the city and suburbs, regularly and
enrly. Mt the following rates:
Per Moulh..,.......'''.'''''' oO
Per eloO
Ier ..........,.,.......... 600
National Republican., 1883-03-22
Thls Punster Should Be slade.

"Are you going to see Mace and Maori,
Saturday night?' remarked Mrs. Jagglejaw to
her lord aud master. 81 maori may not" was his
reply as he lodged a skillet and wizzed out OF the
National Republican., 1883-03-22
THU s)AY. MARCH %, 1883.

Every effort is being made to hare THE REPUBLICAN
delivered carly aud promptly in all parts Of he ciB
Persons tOho do not ecere their paper, or who hare
any cause Of complaint 'rW obltge by notifying The
office, either in person or ty postal card.
National Republican., 1883-03-22

Mr.. DUKES will not get into tho Pennsyl-
vania legislature. He has snned away his
day of grace, aud postponed too long his claim
to a seat ...
National Republican., 1883-03-22

Gov. WALLER, of Connecticut, will, it is
said, wallow in to political mre of Rhode
Island for the ox-rcpublican Sprague for gov
National Republican., 1883-03-22
VIEW YoRK OFFICE.

The New York Office Of Tue REPUBLICAN, ia at
Room 6j, Tribune bsilding, where files of THE RE.
PUBLICAN and nll necessary information relating
10 advertisements can be obtained.
National Republican., 1883-03-22
LnNnnN AND PARIS.

THE REPUBLICAN will be found on file Mt the
American Exchange in Europe, No. 40 Strand,
London: tho American Exchange in Paris, No. 30
boulevard dcs Capucnes
National Republican., 1883-03-22
And No auestlons AsI.sd.

Lost, strayed, or stolen-A small demo-
cratic boom labeled "reform." The finder will
DO suitably rewarded by leaving II at democratic
headquarters in Albany.
National Republican., 1883-03-22
co,,,-io co,,lo, ,onI on nnnllootlon.

Rcmittanccs may be made at our risk, either by
draft express, post.oiice order, or registered let
Ter. Money sent in any other way is at the risk Of
the person sending II. Address,
NATIONAL REPUBLICAN,,
Washington, D. Q,
National Republican., 1883-03-22
GOSSIP OF TIE AIR.
Hnlloo your name to the reverbefate hills, and
make the babbing gossip Of the air cry out"
THE soNG on TnE MARSHAL.

THE SONG oF THE MARSHAL.
"Marshal AlcMIcnaeIs deputies and bailiffs will
be uniformed" ."-DdIB paDers.
The big policeman with the long coattail,
The thin young fellows In the railway mail,
The men who carry heavy bags OF letters oil
about,
And the boys who hold the nozzle when they put
the fire out
May talk about their uniforms and how their
buttons shine,
But they cannot hold a candle to this uniform Of
mine.
Isauuter through the court with a scornful air;
treat the vulgar crowd to a scornful stare,
And when to order "silence" my tenor voice Is
raised
The lawyers, Judge, and jury arc remarkably
nmnzed,
Aud they say to ono another, "why, he has q
voice divine,
And please regard the way in which his polished
buttons shine"
My coat is darkly bluor than the dome of night,
My buttons always sparkle like the stars so bright,
And tho serve subpUnas with refinement I'm
imbued.
I'm sort of half esthetlc half oicinl legal dude,
And the people when they 500 me with one sweet
accord opine
That I'm something in the army from the way my
buttons shine.
WASHINGTON, Mar. 2t, 1888
National Republican., 1883-03-22
THE NATIONAL REPUBLICAN,
BY The National Republican Company.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION PER YEAR BY MAIL.

once, Pa. Avenue, Cor. Tenth and d st.
National Republican., 1883-03-22

lANABLE IN ADNANCE)
Day Edition (postpoid). $500
Weekly Edition (postpaid). LOO
National Republican., 1883-03-22

"In unforming his deputies, bailihs and
men-at-arms, Marshal McNlichael has been
actuated by no desire to put the serfs badge
upon them, but per contra to save them the
humiliation of being mistaken for the law
yers, judges and members of the grand jury
who have acquired the pernicious habit of
lounging around the city hall" said one of
that gentlemans defenders: "'rhe uniforms
have been designed with an eye TO neatness
mot gaudiness) and appropriateness
Marshal McMichael's regalia will be beauti-
full study of the aesthetic, A pair of sage
green trousers delicately streaked with ashes
of roses will rise to bobtail coat of that PEN
sive blue which fingers in the eyes of Circas-
sia's fair daughters. Tho latter garment
will be decorated with twelve gold buttons
bearing as device justice holding aloft her
scales.
Deputy Marshal Fassott's costume will be
built upon the same style but of different
color. His trousers will be of dull ecru, and
his coat will partake of that peculiar shade of
green prevalent in weather bureau maps. His
buttons will be ten in number and will be
made Of silver.
deputy Marshal McBlair will have his suit
built upon the state department pattern. His
coat will be shorter and his trousers tighter
than the marshal's, and their color will be
London smoke. lie will be decorated with
eight silver buttons, with a young man smok-
ing a cigarette for device. Perry Carson
and the bailfs will have uniforms of blue,
with short coats and tight trousers, They
will wear four buttons apiece, and the device
thereon will be a policeman rampant, with
| the motto, Fiat jusiitia raOt cGIum' below,
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-05-24
Before Marriage.

The sweetheart relation should be
guarded very carefully, because, when
once formed, there is such glamour
upon the eyes that they cannot see
things as they are. After marriage it is
too late. 1t is a difficult thing for the
young lady to believe that the young
man of her choice has bad habits. II any
one has the frankness to tell her Of them,
she either thinks there is some mistake
about it or that her informant is sctuated
by malicious motives; or that her be-
trothed will now lay them aside. Some
heroic maidens cay well, | will marry
him despite his bad habits. | will
marry him and reform him" There may
be IL few CO ses of reformation but in nine
cases out of ten the young man goes to
the dogs and takes the devoted young
woman along with him. II she had
known at the outset the style of man he
was, she would not have suffered her
heart to become interested in him; but
afterward she has not the moral strength
to conquer her attachment.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-05-24
The Monarch Of the Seas.

One of the finest examples Of the pres
ent practice in the construction Of sea
going steamers is found in the Oregon, a
sister ship to the Alaska, now being built
in England for the Williams g. Guidon
line. The Oregon will be somewhat
larger in length and beam than the Alas
ka, but it is in her machinery and abil-
ity to speed that it is expected she will
excel all other vessels anoat. He' en-
gines are proportional to develop 49,
9O0-horse power, and are expected to
drive the vessel at rate close on to
twenty knots an hour. Twelve boilers
furnish steam for these engines, each
one of which is supplied with six fur
naces. These furnaces will burn about
twenty pounds of coal to the square foot
of CRATE surface, and as this surface rep
resents some six hundred thousand
square feet, the total consumption for
every twenty four hours will be 300 tons.
Allowing, then, that each ton of coal
evaporates nine times its weight OF Wa
ter, it follows then that 200 tons OF
steam pass through the engines every
twenty flour hours. AS motor, she will
be supplied with a twenty four-foot pro-
peller screw, having apitch of nearly
forty feet. Relative to the amount OF
water used for the generation of steam
for single trip across the Atlantic for
this immense steamer, some idea may be
had by remembering that if the amount
thus used were supplied to town at the
rate of four cubic feet, or twenty five
gallons, per head, it would suffice for
"a 900 souls, being equal to nearly three
times the weight of the whole ship, car
go, engines and all. The excess OF horse.
power over that Of the largest engine yet
made, that of the Great Eastern, will be
more than three thousand.-New York
Mail and Express.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-05-24

of the berth sections. Out of the sides
of the narrow closet come two wooden
cross pieces that keep the ends in place
On the inside of each door hangs fold
ing steel spring, which. when opened
ont. forms the foundation of an extreme
" comfortable bed. One OF these is for
the upper berth, the other for the lower.
The two mattresses and the blankets
hang in the panel closet. in linen
locker at the end of the car are kept the
bed linens, the pillows and the protect
ing curtains for each section. Out OF the
upper portion of the closet swings con-
trivance for holding the passengers
clothes, which are hung up neatly be-
tween the berth and the window, instead
of being left at the mercy of every per-
son who passes. Each of the panel
closets is lined with Sheet iron to make
it entirely impervious to dampness
Bringing the beds and bedding thus out
Of the sides of the car. the porter can
make up" section in less than a min
ute, and put everything away again in
the same brief time. The bedding is
stored in such way as to be thoroughly
ventilated, and no part OF it is used for
cushions by passengers through the day
The car is considerably ligheor than the
sleepers now in use, though equally
strong. 1t has at the ends the usual
lavatories for ladies and gentlemen, and
a large smoking-room. 1t is fitted out
in tie most luxurious style, and it will
no doubt make the Australians op-n
their eyes to see such specimen Of
American car building art.-Railway
World.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-05-24
Truth Twisting.

The Brooklyn Eagle is responsible for
the following:
Eyes, sir" continued the Texan. wip-
ing his moustache, and contemplating
the Montana man thoughtfuily. Yes,
sir, q Texan norther is such as is re-
garded as considera BILE by them that has
seen it in full operation"
ut it calculated to beat Montana
blizzard?" inquired the man from the
Northwest, apparently veIy much in
terested in the narrative OF his COM
pAnion.
1T are, replied the Texan, solemnly.
II am prepared to say that it is cal lated
to beat anything that blows. Stranger.
I've seen norther carry stone wall 20
miles and set it down as it picked it up,
without displacipg a dornick! Seen It
done myself. Onct l seen one that
turned AN apple orchard upside down,
and the man had to dig out his harvest
And that wasn't much Of norther,
either"
II hearn they were pretty powerful, 3"
conceded the Montana man. "but they
don't make no speed"
"Strange," continued the Texan, fall.
ing in the trap, stranger, seen Texas
norther catch the first shake Of an earth
quake and carry it right over our town
before the quake could get . grip on
anywhere! Speed speedl Why. stran.
ger, seem norther ketch mortgage
Out'n . mans hand onct, and that mort
gage was due before the man picked
himself out'n OF the mud!
"Didn't think they vent so fast, OBJ
served tho Montana man, with ominous
mildness. That pretty fair goin and
think . great deal OF money could be
made by importing Northers into our
parts for little breathing places when
have q blizzard on"
Does billiards. go faster than that?
inquired the Texan. who wanted to kick
himself for not letting the Montana man
get his work in first.
~ never seen but one that wasn't max
ing ten thousand miles an hour, replied
the Montana man, carelessly.
"What seemed to be the matter with
him," asked the desperate Southerner,
sarcastically.
''It was long time before We could
find out" continued he from Montana.
''but finally, when he got . backset
somewhere and wasn't going over hmm.
dred miles an hour, We got on to what
troubled him."
was he sickl" demanded the Texan,
ready 10 Aght.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-05-24
A Wine Merchants Apology.

Returning from hunting one day
George III. entered atfably into CONVEX,
sation with his wine merchant, Mr.. Car
donel, and rode with him side by side n
considerable way. Lord Walsingham
was in attendance, and, watching an OPP.
portnnity, took Mr.. Carbonel aside and
whispered something to him.
whats that-what's that Walsh Z.
ham has been saying to you?" inquired
the good humored monarch.
II find, sir, that have been uninten-
tionally guilty of disrespect. My lord
informed me that ought to have taken
off my hat Whenever 1 addressed your
majesty; but your majesty will please to
observe that whenever / hunt my hat Is
fastened to my wig, and my wig is
fastened to my head, and l am on the
back of very high-spirited horse. so
that if anything goes oil we must all go
of together"
The king laughed heartily at this
apolopy
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-05-24
Didn't think OF His Millions.

Peter Cooper was a very rich man.
and yet when men thought of him their
minds did not dwell on his millions.
He was the originator of vast and
successful busin, IS, and yet he never
figured before the public merely in the
light of a prosperous merchant. He ad
vocated political ideas for which other
men we're subject to ridicule, but his
hobbies were never sharply combated
nor became the subject for satire. Al
though he was once the Greenback
candidate for President, and always
identified himself with that movement,
he never appeared before the people as
the representative of those ideas. Under
whatever light he stood, he was recog-
nized as a worker who toiled always
with thoughts of benevolence, and rs a
man who loved to share his prosperity
with his fellow citizens.
Rarely. indeed. can it so truthfully be
said of a man that he has died full of
years and Of honors.-New York Sum-.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-05-24
Bin to Yurup.

A citizen of Detroit who had been
to Lansing on business, was returning
the other day, when an old farmer going
east with his wife, took the next seat
back and opened conversation. which
lasted almost into the city. Then he
happened to mention something about
Europe, which the farmer doubted, and
the citizen protested:
"But have been there and know
"What! You been to Yurap?'
yes"
"By cracky, Maria" said the old man +,
rs he turned to his wife, there's Teller
who's bin to Yurup and rides with us a
hull half day before he lets on a word
Why the Bixbys didn't go no further
than Boston, and the first night they got
home they kept the hull town up till
two o'clock in the morning to tell about
picture halls and opera houses! Wall!
Wall bin to Yurup and not Dragging
over it!".-Detroit Free Press.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-05-24
A Combination Of ParlOr and Sleeper

A novel attempt to combine in q single
car the characteristics OF Being a COM
plete parlor car during the day and
complete sleeping car at night has been
made at the Gilbert Car company's shops
in Troy, N. Y, in the construction Of
two cars for Australia, which have re-.
Gently been finished. They are described
% follows: One the outside Of the car
looks like any OF the better class of par
lor cars-sixty feet long, handsomely
finished and resplendent in gilt and
colors. The interior. however, is
different from any other car. When it
is parlor car there are comfortable arm
chairs for twenty persons, and not sign
OF O bed nor suggestion Of any Of the
little half.partitions and overhead OBJ
structions that mark the ordinary con-
vertiole sleeping-car. The main saloon,
an extra sized apartment, has absolutely
nothing in the day time but the twenty
cushioned chairs and the thick Amin
lister carpet. When bedtime comes the
porter, in ten minutes, converts 1t into q
perfect sleeping car, with berths for
twenty persons. and the revolving chairs
miraculously disappear. The system by
which this wonder Is accomplished Is
likely to make . change in the form OF
ell the American parlor cars. What
look like the panels between the windows
arc in reality shallow closets, four or
Ave inches deep. When the beds are TO
bs made the doors forming these closet
panels are open, and they make the ends
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-05-24
"Da Foun' de Ham,"

II understand, Uncle Amos, that you
have quit preaching" said the secretary
OF state to an old colored man who for
years had charge OF a church in Little
Rock.
Eyes, boss. Use stepped aside"
"Why did You quit? ?"
wall, dar was num'roua pressure
brought to bar agin de ole man. Da
charged me vi stealth ham, for one
thing, and 'vised me ter quit"
"Why. they couldn't prove that you
stole the ham, could they ?"
mo, sab. da couldn'n'. an eff ] hadn't
'knowledged it da neber would hab
prubed it,"
"Why did you acknowledge it?"
Case, da foun' de ham under my bed f,
sab"
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-05-24

At Statford-on-Avon the town council
have discussed the course taken by the
vicar in imposing fixed charge of Cd.
each upon persons DESTROYS Of seeing
Shakespeare grave. Many thousands
of persons visit the church in the course
of the year. and the town council have
resolved that if the charge il to be com.
pulsory the money shall be spent upon
the fabric Of the church, and not devot.
ed towards the payments Of the curates
stipends, an undertaking 10 this effect
having been given by the late vicar.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-05-24

mo, he was trying to haul that dog
goned norther of yours along! I know
it was the the same norther, cause l
seen the mortgage sticking out'n his
ear
And taen they went at it; but when
the police got there the Montana man
was little ahead.