Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-01
W AND HUd02.

=
| 4 woman.
A fashion item SAYS that $500 worth
of lace can be put on filmy dress
without looking loaded 1t is to be
presumed they go off easily.
The Vassar girls talk of getting up a
rowing club. The Vassartv eight would
| prove an attractive feature of college
| boat-race.
An awning over the DOORWAY of q
Brooklyn saloon has the word Fresh"
| painted on it. At any time during
the day may be seen Il dude standing
| under it.
The mosquitoes generally leave sum-
mer resorts at the same time the guests
do. The 'skeeter is the bird that can
keep up with the procession every
| time.
| The remains of man have been dug
out of the ruins of Pompeii. with his
hands on his stomach. We did not
| know that the cucumber was invented
at that early date. Peck'S Sun.
| The Boston hlgh-school girl con-
et' as vile slang. She says ''precipi-
more elegant expression.
Never saw a four-dollar-bill? Isn't
| any? Well, 90 down TO the seashore
and spend day ut q ho;el and YOU
will be given four-dollar- biil-and
sometimes higher than that.
| An old bachelor at q wedding-feast
bad the heartlessness to offer the follow
| ing toast: ''Marriage-the gate through
! which the happy lover leaves his en-
| chanted regions and returns to earth. !"
Merchant Undressing applicant for
| position): Yes, we desire an assistant
foreign correspondent. What langua-
| ges are you familiar with?-I dom
know nothin how to speak but the
English language. The Judge.
1t cost 100000 to make the first
steel rail in America. 1t cost only about
half that sum to make the first ''rale
steal, !" and q new county treasurer
made it, without any preliminary ex-
| periments.
The eagle feels best at height of
| 10000 feet above the earth while the
minute you get man on the roof of u
| horseback his knees begin to weaken
and he can't remember q word beyond
''Fellow-citizens. -
LIE Due, of tea plant notOriety, is out
with scheme for training ostriches to
draw street-cars. 'Twould never do.
The lady passengers would pick a
| feather Us q mementO to every trip
Hartford Post.
When q city editor hears of the ap-
preaching suspension of a criminal, he
always makes an assignment. We
have this from 4 reporter who is on
| confidential terms. Tile Merchant IraU-
e{er.
The word is rs much excited over
the discovery of Noah'S Ark as Noah s
Ark must have been when the dove dis
covered the world If the old man
were alive to-day what reunion we
all might have.
Says correspondent, speaking of
modern French furnishing: i find in
Vulnerable instances of arm-chairs COW
cred with two sorts of material" Isn't
it about time these filings ut courtship
were done With?-B0St071 Transcript
A lady stopping at hotel in Austria
La was bitten by Il rat, and has sued
~
| damages. The bite was not severe, but
| her fright was so great that her hair
hanging on the back of q chair-turned
gray before morning.
AS Chambord was dying his father
confessor, raising his hand upward,
said most impressively: ascend to
heaven, son of St. Louis This is the
| crueIest blow Chicago has been called
upon to stand for long, long years.
Pltts6urg Telegraph.
A young lady artist married Young
gentleman artist. The uncle of the
Stride made a call upon them and found
them sitting in opposite corners of their
Joint studio in the suks. the husband
saving that his wife's waist was out of
proportion, and the wife saying that
her husbands nose was too small.
My dear sir, - wrote q Philadelphia
man to his daughters absent lover,
''your letters to my girl are so thick
and heavy that in taking them home
from the postoffice they spoil the set of
my coat. Won't you please address to
the house direct, or else send your let
tiers in sections?"
n Cttlu J-IuG6IluO -COuN GU, IdlIcI ~
rough speciman of humanity, recently
delivered himself of the following
speech: Brethren and sisters! I have
been very bad man; have led . bad
life; indeed, have been the chief among
sinners, and the one altogether lovely!"
His confession was received with some
grains of allowance.
Wives ought really to be more care
full about telling the truth to their bus-
bands. why do you start so whenever
l come into the room?" asked q brusque
man of his better half. 1T is only my
nerves, my poor nerves." she replied,
(which are 50 very weak that | am
startled by every stupid thing [ see
The alleged ancient manuscript of
Deuteronomy, which Shapiro wanted
to sell TO the British Government for
s., 100000, has been declared forgery.
Further Revelations may be expected
in later Numbers OF the English press.
II Looks lilo bod l. fD,, NJ.