The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1883-02-14

school after learning tho three RS and be-
gan his journalistic training by sweeping out
the Office and going after the mail, will make
a better newspaper man than he and know
twice as much worth knowing when he is 81.
The eX-office boy may not know the differ
ence between Sanskrit poem and solar
paralax, but neither will he care tinker's
maledicton. He'll know what Congress is
doing and whether the news that comes over
the wires should go into the morning paper
or the waste basket.
But the most unique style of young man
extant is the specialist, who knows just what
the paper needs to make it popular, and
that he is the very man TO fill the long felt
want. In these days he writes to the editor
and says, 81 think what your paper requires
to meet the popular demand for information
is an exhaustive discussion OF the tariff ques-
ton. have made this subject special
study and am thoroughly posted on the tar
iff, free-trade and protection, ETC., and
would be willing to give my whole time and
attention to such matters. have had some
| journalistic experience as occasional sum-
mer correspondent for the Smithville Week
| ly Welkin Am willing to accept small
salary at first. Telegraph me when to
| come
| After receiving about half dozen appli-
| cations of this kind, the editor takes few
manifold sheets, grabs stylus and scratches
| away in this fashion:
| DEAR S1R-The great mistake Of your life
was not getting elected to Congress or securing
an appointment on the tariff commission. This
country is just bowling for somebody who
| knows all about free trade, protection, ETC., to
| show up and straighten things out. Congress,
you see don't know anything much scarcely
| at all, and you ought to have been there to lead
our confused statesmen through the mazes of
political economy and the taDgle of CONNER
cial and labor Interests. Your modesty should
| not prevent you from giving the country the
benefit of your phenomenal intellect, and we
don't think it would. 1t W, uld not be fair to
the other papers for us to secure monopoly OF
your information, and perhaps you'd better try
and get up combination with the rest. SOME
of our contemporaries need just such an infant
phenomenon as you, the worst kind. They are
worse off than Congress on this tariff business
Besides, we don't want to know everything in
the world. We cherish certain amount oil
ignorance and could not be induced to part
with it for anything. We have men who IN
| derstand something about free trade and pro
lection and manage to grind out editorials once
in while that have an appearance of plausi
bility and contain few everyday facts, bu
they don't know anything about the .'etc.
phase OF the tariff question. 1t is the Ignorance
oil the staff concerning 'etc." that gives varie
ty and sprightliness to the paper, and va
riety is our strong hold We wonld not sacri
fee the sprightly misinformation of the stat
on the subject OF "etc.," even for your vas
fund of knowledge on The tariff question
You mightget job as private tutor to Sena
tor Dawes He don't know anything abou
the tariff. He thinks if the American work
ingmaD did not have to pay twice as much fo
his clothing, tea, sugar, ETC., as they are worth
he would be knocked OUT by the pauper la
Dor of Europe. Yon could make good thin,
by going to Washington and coaching some
those fellows who are talking nonsense. o
perhaps you better put all you know in a book
If there is enough paper left in the world afte
the publication of what you don't know, Adam
Smith. Buckle, Mill, Spencer, Ruskin, Harr,
: George, Daniel Pratt and lots of other fellow
have tried to write about political economy
but the whole of them put together neve
knew as much as you do about free trade
protection, etc. They never wanted to writ
our editorials either. We wouldn't let em i
they did. What you want is to go to Congress
go to writing books, go to lecturing, 60 t,
blazes or something. Having stuck as man,
thorns in the crown of your conceit as thu
pressure of other pleasures will permit us tx
weave in, we have the happiness to wish yol
an everlasting goodbye. THE EDITOR.
That is the kind of encouragement thu
know-it-all young man gets when he as
pires to Journalism, and it does him good
Blessed are the meek.