The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-12-14
NO. 36.


look" why SOP" Because, before /
received this money had to pay cas- b
for everything l purchased. Now my
credit is so good l can buy anything /
want without money. 1 don't need
this money, and that's what troubles
me-" Don't you be alarmed" remark
ed Gilhooley, these credit chaps will
soon give you an opportunity to use
some of it. Don't fret yourself over
this matter"
A physician says: "In buying cloth
ing great care should be taken to inves-
tigate the hygroscopicity of the cloth"
We always do; but as singular as it
may appear, many persons buy a coat
and never give thought to its hygros-
copicity. This great mistake.
"Oh! he's green hand" remarked a
book agent, contemptuously. "He
thinks that he can sell books, and he
has not yet learned the first principle
of the business. Only yesterday he
was picked up all in heap at the bot
tom of stairway. Now. an expert
enced book-agent always lands on his
feet.
A father and son were riding on a
load of hay. The son fell off and was
run oyer by one of the wheels. "Are
you hurt, Johnny?" asked the old gen.
tleman in loud voice. NO" answer
ed the boy; whereupon the father
shouted back his accustomed injunc-
ton: "D-n you, don't you lie to me-"
An American who had a jolly Ger
man friend wished to become acquaint-
ed with the Germans charming wife.
"Vell," said the German, "ofe you dreat,
dot will pc all right" After the treat
the German led him over to where the
lady was sitting with number of
friends. katrina" said the husband,
"you know dot man?" "No," said Kat
rina, modestly. well dots him!"
A rural young lady visited the Phila-
pelphia Geological garden, and when
she returned home she told her mother
that one of the monkeys spoke to her.
A girl who can't distinguish a dude
from a monkey should be given few
lessons In natural history. The mon-
key is the most intelligent looking, but
doesn't wear such ridiculous clothes.
"Jakey," cried Mrs. Rosenberg, as she
discovered twenty-five letters in her
sons bureau drawer, "here vas all desc
letters l gif you since last spring to
put the mall-box derein" Wy for haf
you forgot demP" $50 hellup me 1
don't forgot EN- !" replied Jakey. 81 been
vaitin' for dot dow.cent bostagep
The various phases of the tender pas
sion have thus been exemplifed: "A
ship is hoolishly in love when she is at
tached to a bouy; she is prudently in
love when she leaves the bOuy for the
pier; she places her affection beneath
her when she is 'ancoring after heavy
swell, and she is desperately in love
when she is tender to man-of-war.
She laid her head upon his shoulder
as he held her close to his bosom. Her
eyes beamed love, ETC., into his. "Do
you love me. Alphonso?' "Yes, sweet
est" "Then why delay naming the
day?" l will not delay, love. 1t will
be some pretty day in the next spring
time when the flowers are budding
forth in beauty and delightful frag-
rance" "Oh, pshawp Why, Will
Jones said he'd marry me next week.
But if you can beat that time, dearest.
1 am yours, for l love you so much"
Alphonso took his hat and retired from
the race.
A certain Texas murderer who had
killed his partner during a heated
discussion on business affairs, was
convicted and sentenced to twelve
years Imprisonment. "What, can't 90
out at all" he inquired anxiously of
the judge. "No." "Then it would have
been much better all around if my
partner had killed me. He always at
tended to inside affairs while ! worked
on the outside. He was a man Of Sc
dentary pursuits, and would havestood
such kind of office work much better
than l shall. Yes, 1t is very unfortu-
nate that am not now in his place. 1
really regret the serious turn affairs
seem to have TAKEN"
81 see you are growing a mustache,
George" said she as she caressed
the lapel of his coat. "Y e-es," STAN
mered George, blushing furiously,
IL am trying to raise one, Arabella."
Don't it feel funny on your lipp" she
asked. "Well, no" he laughed. regain
ing his composure; "it seems to be quite
natural" Il wonder how mustache
would feel on my lip?" with far-away
absent look in her eyes. "You needn't
/, wonder long then, said George, as he
bent down. "Oh, you forward thingl'
she exclaimed; "I've a good mind to
make you take that back again. And
she did.