The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-08-10
HUMOR.
A BAD coughin' spell--C-a-s-k-e-t.

A BAD coughin' spell--C-a-s-k-e-t.
IRIS an nil wind TINT blows nothing.
Paw Paw must be quite handsome
town.
A MASTER of free-hand drawing
pickpocket.
Ox-TAIL soup and head-cheese at the
same meal is whore we make both ends
meat.-Cari Pretseps Weekly.
JACK OLpsTooK We're very proud
Of our ancestry, you know" Tom
Parvenu:-"Yes, I know; but how
would your ancestry feel about you"
at is no use." said the policeman to
the sufferer whose pocket was picked,
Afor you to put guard on your watch.
unless you also keep a watch on your
guard. Move on
A BOY OF 4 summers was riding on
o hobby-horse with companion He
was seated rather uncomfortably on the
horses neck After reflective pause,
he said: Il think if one of US gets off
/ could ride better"
"YEs," said Mrs. Towser, rs she ex-
patiated upon the beauties of her
flower garden, Il have given it great
care, and if you come over in a week or
two i expect TO be able to show you
some beautiful scarlet pneumonias."
"WHY don't you your soup. sir ?"
inquired surly waiter at summer
resort. us there anything the matter
with it?" "Oh, no, guess the soup is
healthy enough; it's the transparency
of the thing that affects me.-Teras
SJtings.
AN exchange says that Kentucky
man fired at another and killed So.
900 horse. The man may have re-
pented sorely for his mistake but he
will probably go to States prison for
life Had he shot at the horse and
killed the man it would have been diff
ferent, but Kentucky horse flesh is too
valuable to be thus ruthlessly des-
troyed. Sun.
CARE You married ?" asked the Justice
of man who had been arrested for
vagrancy. "No, 1 am not married, but
my wife is. "No trifing with the
court" Heaven save us I'm not
trifing with the court. was married.
but got divorce. My wife got mar
ried again, but didn't; so / am not
married, but my wife is. "-Teras SJt-
i4lgS.
A wELL-KNowN Chicsgoan came homo
the other night very late and tried 10
unlock the door with his head. He ex-
planned the next day at the breakfast
table by saying that the sun had fallen
down on him the day before, and while
in that helpless condition an army Of
rats tackled him. Chicago Cheek.
There Young man named DeI&
Who PLAYED the nass horn In the b&
He blew such blast:
That az he went past,
| He blew all the fruit off So.
-CinciaRati Merchant and Irare1er.
A POOR woman was asked by clergy
man how many commandments there
were. Truly, SIR said she, Il cannot
tell" why. ten said he. "A fine
company" said she; God bless you
and them together" well. but, neigh
Dor" said he, do you keep these COM
mandments? ?" All. the Lord in Heaven
and can hardly keep myself, and SO
how can bear the charge of keeping 50
many?"
DURING a big thunder-shower, little
Willie, who slept up stairs alone, got
scared and called his mother, who came
up and asked him what he was fright
ened about. Will admitted that. the
thunder was too much for a youngster
who slept alone. We'll, if You are
afraid" said his mother. "you should
pray for courage" well, all right"
said Willie, an idea coming into his
head, suppose you stay up here and
pray, while go down stairs and sleep
with pa" She didn't stay.
Il WOULD like te get certificate Of
insanity" said man to the Asylum
Commissioners. who do you want it
for?" Myself ~Are you insane p
Crazy as a chinch." "And you want
admittance into the asylum?" "Yes,
sir. What evidence can you give us
of your insanity?' Evidence that you
cannot dispute" / read three
column article on the tariff. Go to
the asylum and tell the keeper. He'll
admit you. In positive cases certifi-
Gates are not necessary. "-ArkanSac
Traveller
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