The Osceola times., 1883-06-02
A deer child-A fawn.

A deer child-A fawn.
A prima donna is singular creature
The narrow weigh-Fourteen ounces
to the pound.
To be certain of getting a bite when
YOU 90 fishing, take it along with you
In studying the book of nature, the
best reeding will be found in the swalnfS'
The modest young woman who turned
all colors" has given up the business o"-
inr to the multiplicity OF new shades
Two men were blown up by dynamite,
and a cruel Joker who saw them ascend
remarked, "There they go-two ior
ascent"
eDe downfall oh a hypocrite," SAYS
Irrcle Nose sis enjoyed by all hypocrites
damselves-ef da doau b1ong ter de same
church"
Five minutes walk to kirk
Makes her sick-its awfn WORK q,
An that is why she seldom heeds the bell.
But let her young man eau
And invite her to a ball -
You never cav o girl so strong and well.
A Florida alligator culturist has over
900 little reptiles in stock 10 fill spring
orders from the North, and he laughs at
men who waste their time in congress at
$1,000 year.
1t is said that "if you play on an ac,
Gordon near an oyster, the oyster Will
open its she'll" Whether this is because
il wants to listen, or is looking Tor
chance to escape is not known.
The Epitaph. of Arizona, tells of dear
little boy who, when told, upon his first
day AZ school, that the first letter in the
alnhabet was called a." said TO the
school ma'am: "How the devil do you
know"
"Where do YOU retreat to in the H,im-
mer?" they asked the old soldier And
the colonel replied Retreat? lnever
retreat | always advance into the thick
of fighting. summer in New jersey
boarding house."
"Well, how is Jenny to-day Is she
any better2" "Nae better, mem, nae
better" "Does the doctor give you no
hope of herr" "Oh, no, mem" Does
she know of her state ?" "Oh, weel she
does, nem. She's deid!'
Tom Pittman says, somewhat sarcastic
cally, it may be, of a hard hard drinkeer,
that "he unhesitatingly put an enemy in
his mouth to steal away his brains but
the enemy after thorough and protrac-
ted search, returned without anything
We're sitting on the stile, Mary, where
we sat so long ago. All, then your hair
was black as jet, but now lis light as
tow 'Tis thus the chemists wizard art
with changes queer confounds us, and
mocks when memory brings the light OF
other days around us.
"You made a little mistake in your
announcements yesterday, sir" Very
likely. 1t il impossible not TO make a
mistake sometimes. What was it?"
"You said me and Lizzie Pipkins were
bothered, when we are not bothered at
all. We are betrothed, sir"
A Galveston child, little Charlie, was
having wordy war with the nurse. His
father sang out: Now, Charlie, are you
going to be quiet, or shall ! come with a
switch ?" "Never mind the switch, papa,
responded the youngster; II guess | can
set her right without your help"
A Boston man, who had his nose
mashed over his face during personal
unpleasantness in Chicago bar-room,
was told by the doctor that it was a case
of simple molecular disintegration.
Thank YOU" he said; II begin to feel
better ralready-that sounds so much like
home"
A negro hurrying with a sack of cotton
on his shoulder, struck a beam with his
head. The blow was like the stroke of Il
sledge-hammer, and the whole building
trembled. THAT must have hurt your
head, Jim said his boss, pityingly. "No,
sah," was the reply; didn't hurt my
head bit, but sprained my neck dreffly.
at is really quite amusing" remarked
a New York dude after landing in Phil
adelphia. 81 am used to being admired
by the women, you know, but to-day, as
came down the steps of the Broad
street station, a dozen men began ex-
claiming, Hanson, hanson, hansom,' in
such a loud tone of voice that ! could not
nSlp oNtTntdIlHp.
4 number of fashionable young ladies
and gentlemen Of Louisville engaged in
a fox hunt last week. They had an ex.
citing chase for five miles, caught their
prey, and when one Of the fair girls came
to take the "brush" as the need of vic
tory, it was discovered that the fox was
a yellow dog with stump tail Louis
vile should study up on yenatic pursuits.
A Connecticut woman recently applied
for State aid, and the blank was produced
and the usual questions asked. She an
swcred them freely until it came to
"Iour age" Have got to tell that ?''
she asked "The blank requires it.
ma'am," was the reply, well, then"
she said, Il don't want any State aid"
And she flounced cut of the office in high
dudgeon.
american and European salaries.