The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1883-02-08
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MARK TWAIN vExED.

not KNOW Wnat 10 puD1Sn. 30 ne
publishes nothing" @What in the
world has his barometer to do with
his literary activity"
@His barometer is man servant
named Jacob, who is remarkable
for his deficient sense of humor.
Mark never can Judge of the merit
of his own performances. Years
ago he fell into the habit of testing
everything he wrote by observing
its effect on Jacob. If Jacob lis
tened to the article, jest or story,
with unmoved countenance, or
merely smiled in perfunctory
way, Mark was satisfied and sent
the manuscript to the printer. But
if Jacob laughed outright, or gave
any other indication of genuine
merriment, the humorist concluded
that the stuff was hopeless and
withheld it from publication. He
regarded Jacob as infallible and
came to lean upon his judgement.
.About three years ago, it ap.
+
pears, Jacob learned for the first
time from some outsider that his
master was professional humorist.
He felt greatly honored that he
should have been chosen habitually
to enjoy the first freshness of every
new production of genius. He did
not exactly understand why he
should have been thus chosen but
felt in a vague way that a great
humorist must need sympathy and
appreciation, and must naturally
look for it to the fellow-being
nearest at hand. He also felt that
he had perhaps failed to be at all
times sufficiently appreciatiye. So
Jacob kert his discovery to himself
as far a. ais master was concerned,
and resolved to be appreciative in
the future as anybody could desire.
'.one day Mark called Jacob in
and read him a sketch entitled
The Cow and the Lightning-rod-
man. In composing it Mark had
fattered himself that he had struck
a pretty fine streak. To his amaze
merit Jacob put back his head and
roared. With a half suppressed ejac-
ulation, Mark dashed the manu-
script in the waste-paper basket.
"rhen Mark waited six weeks or
two months to collect his forces {for
he is never precipitate in anything
he does), and achieved a romance
called sHow / Bounce the Baby"
He summoned Jacob and watched
his face with obvious anxiety as he
read the touching narrative. ia
eob's mirth was painful to observe.
Mark tore up the story and then
tore his hair.
Two or three experiments OF
this sort with unvarying results,
persuaded Mark Twain that the
malaria, which he has been dread
ing ever since it began to creep up
the Connecticut Valley, had reach
ed him at last and destroyed his
powers of usefulness. He fell into
a ssttled melancholy. His friend,
the Rev. Mr.. Twichell, tried in vain
to cheer him up, perhaps" sug-
gested Twichell, "your man has
really cultivated a sense of humor,
so that you must no longer Judge
by orposites." Mark shook his
head, and borrowed volume of
Jonathan Edwards sermons from
his friends library. He copied out
a loag passage from the discourse
on eternal punishment and palmed
it off on Jacob as his own latest
effort. For the first time in his
tory, the gloomy periods provoked
peals of laughter. Jacob held his
sides, and shook all over. Then he
suddenly stopped; his eountenance
grew blank, turned pale, and he in
cont;nently fed. He had seen mur-
der in his masters eye.
That said the Hartford man,
in conclusion, sis why Mark Twain
does not write. He hung his rep
utation as humorist upon his
barometer, and his barometer no
longer works. ''-Phtladelphia Press.
sYou mustn't touch the top of