davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-18
Perverted Proverbs.
(From New York Life. ]

(Erom New York Life
Hunger is the best sauce, hence street
boys are naturally saucy.
Many men have many minds, but one
woman frequently has more than all of
them.
They who dance leave the host to pay
the fiddler.
What cannot be cured supports the
doctors.
Speak of the devil and he is sure to
call for copy.
A fair exchange would ruin the stock
market.
Marriages were invented in Heaven,
but unfortunately the process was not
patented.
IF wishes were horses we should all
be ruined in boarding stable bills.
Fair play is jewel, but bluff takes
the pile.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-18
Indians with Tails.
TFrom q Rio Janeiro Letter

The existence of tribe of Indians in
Paraguay with tails is asserted, appar-
emily on good authority. An Argentine
domiciled in the Argentine missions has
a yerba establishment in the Paraguayan
missions in district called Tacuru-
Tuyu. While collecting yerba in the
yerba woods one day his mules were at
tackled by some Guayacuyes Indians,
who fed after killing several mules. The
muleteers pursued, firing on the Indians,
one of whom, a boy of seven or eight
years, was wounded and captured. This
boy was brought to Posadas, the Argen-
tine residence Of Don Francisco Goico-
choa, the Argentine referred to, and ex-
cited much wonder, aud some Germans
photographed him, he having tail six
to eight inches long. The boy is very
ugly, but his body is not covered with
hair. A brother, in possession OF Col.
Rudicendo Roca, has also tail, and it
is said that all the tribe are similarly
adorned. This tale of a tail is Youched
for by DR.. Luiz Pizzarrello, an italian.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-18
Drunken Russian Peasants.
from London TRUTH

Moujiks are curious when drunk.
They hardly ever quarrel, but become
affectionate and embrace each other.
Their idea Of drinking is to imbibe until
they are quite insensible. When I was
in Russia [ had a coachman, who once
a month used to come and ask me for
leave to get drunk during two oonsecu-
tive days. Upon inquiry I found that
only on these conditions would coach
man remain sober during the rest of the
month. Having obtained leave, he would
go to drinking mouse, show the pro-
prletor his money and state how long he
might remain there. Then he would sit
down at a table with some spirits before
him. Gradually and solemnIy he would
get drunk, place his arms before him on
the table and recline on them. Thus he
would remain for two days and nights, the
proprietor supplying him with more
liquor whenever he looked up. His time
up, the proprietor would drag him out
side the house and set him up in the
snow against the wall, having first filed
his cap with snow. Every charitable dis
posed brother coachman passing by
would box his ears. Ia about half an
hour this discipline would sober him; he
would get up shake himself together and
resum his duties. One mans poison is
another mans meat, and so / suppose
that he enjoyed himself.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-18
NlNETY-NlNE IN The SHADE.

@ for a !odgn in garden OF cucumbersl
o for an iceberg or two a5 control!
| . Tor d vale that at midday the dew cumbers
= for pleasure trip mp to the pole!
o for q little Oue-st-ry thermometer,
with mott ing bat zer0es all ranged in q row
O for big doubIe barrelcd hygrOmeter
TO measure the moisture that rolls from my brow
that this cp'd world were twenty times colder!
CHATS irony red hot, it scerueth to me)
. Tor q urn Of lbs dreaded cold shoulder,
o what comfort aguG would bel
for gTOt) frOst-liHGd and ril rivcn,
scOoDrd IN the rock under cataract yaEtl
for winter of discomfort even!
. for wet blankets judicIouely cast.
0 for a soda fOuut spoUtinp up boldly
From every net lamp post against She hot sky!
0 for proud maiden to look on me coidIy.
Freezing my soul with glance Of her eyeI
Then o for q drau9ht from cup OF cold pizen!
And for through ticket, via Coldegrave
To the baths of the Styx, whore thick shadow
lies on
And deepens the chill on its dark running wave!
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-18
The Lord and the ShiIIino.
From London TRUTH


The following episode, which hap
pened lately at one of our fashionable
hotels, proves that virtue is sometimes
more substantially rewarded than the
old adage would seem to indicate: One
evening rather late a gentleman, great
admirer Of mans best friend, saw some
magnificent dogs in the care of the hail
porter. Having entered into CONVEX
sation with the temporary keeper Of the
GERBER, he learned that the owner had
left no instructions as to their being fed;
he therefore took upon himself to order
repast for them. They were still en-
joying it when the owner returned, and
the good Samaritan, going up, told him
that he had been admiring his dogs,
and ordered them to be fed. "Oh,
thank you! Here, take this" and the
owners gratitude took the tangible
shape of the coin recruiting sergeants
dispense in the queens name. The
gentleman smilingly took the profered
reward, and said: 81 am Lord, and
[ most heartily thank you for the first
shilling I have ever earned. [ shall have
q hole drilled in it, and wear it as 8
charm. It may bring me luck" ooh,
my lord! can not tell you how sorry
[ am at my blunder. Pray give me back
the shilling, aud accept my most heart,
felt Apology" 81 beg You not to apollo
gize. lou have made ME feel quite 8
proud man, and, as to the shilling, you
must allow me to keep it, that it may
become an heirloom IN my family.
where We have never had an oppOr
tunity Of earning money"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-18
A Hermit and His Treasures
[From the Vicksburg Post

In passing along the road Sunday af-
ternoon, near Magnolia Hall, the head
quarters of Gen. Grant during the siege,
some four miles from town, our reporter
stumbled upon shanty built alongside
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-18

A GENTLEMAN with an eruption of the
scalp acknowledges with sorrow that
there is indeed plenty of rheum at the
top.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-02-16

BRowN'S IpoH BrrTERs
will have a better tonic
effect upon any ono who
needs "bracing up. than
any medicine made.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-02-16
An Obstruction.

The usual crowd OF cold weather
liars were gathered together in the
store. occupying all the grocery seats
the only gross receipts the proprietor
took no pride in-when a little blue
eyed, aeazen faced individual sneaked
in by the back door, and skunk into y
dark corner.
That's him., said the ungrammati-
cal hummer with patch over his left
eye.
Who is it:' asked several at once
why, the chap who saved train
from being wrecked was the reply.
Come tell us all about it, they de-
manded, as he small man crouched in
the darkness. as if unwilling that his
heroic deed should be brought out
under the glare of the blazing Kerosene
lamp.
After much ersuasion, he began:
1t was just such a night as this
bright and clear-and | was going
home down the track, when, right be-
fore me, acr' SIS the rails, lay great
beam. There it was Pale and ghast-
ly as ifeless body, and light as it
appeared, | had not the power to move
1t. A suddcn-.an.hla and roar told
me that the night express was ttuna-
ering down, and soon would reach the
fatal spot. Nearer and nearer it ap-
preached till. just as the COW catcher
was about lifting me, | sprang aside,
placed myself between the obstruction
and the train flew on unharmed'
The silence was so dense for a mo-
ment that one might have heard dew
drop. Presently somebody sid:
what did you do with the beam?'
4 didn't touch it, he replied; but
it touched me-
WELL persisted the questioner, if
you couldn't lift it, and didn't touch
it, how in thunder did the train go
over 1t?
why, don't you see?' said the sad
faced man, as he rose from his seat
and sidled toward the door. The OBJ
struction was moon beam, and |
jumped so that the shadow of my body
took it's place, and
Bang! flew ham against the door /;
and if it had struck the body of the
retreating hero, there would have been
a much biggar grease-spot frescoed on
the panel.
Joseph Rote jumped from prison
frying pan not exactly into the fire,
when he escaped from the Baltimore
penitentiary, and froze TO death not a
mile from the institution.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-02-16
V A RIETIE ES.

A cold snap is likely to occur
wherever there is a piece of ice that
can be broken.
of what complaint did your father
die?' The jury found him guilty.
was the answer.
'Alas! that SO many people look up
on religion simply as fire escaped
exclaimed Southern minister.
Better late than never does not ap-
ply with eminent success 10 the man
who wants to catch train.
A young agricultural editor says.
Pumpkins are known to be fine for
fattening hogs, but We have never
tried them ourselt.'
Gen. B. F. Butler, as Republican,
ran four times for Governor of Mas
sachu<etts and failed each time. He
then put himself up as q Democrat
aud succeeded. Ben is no spooney !;
when he sees a chance of winning
presto change!
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-02-16
Signing for More.

Mr. Walcott, of New York, ate his
sixtieth quail Monday at Gabe Cases
suburban hotel, and apparently with
lis much relish as when he began on
the first Of his thirty brace. Mr.. Case,
who had wagered $3.50 that he could
not do it, admitted that the task had
been faithfully accomplished, and
ordered that the money be paid over.
Mr.. Walcett said he could continue
the task for thirty more days, and even
expressed desire to tackle three quail
"a day for thirty days on a wager of
$500, but MIR. Case shook his head and
declined TO bet. Mr.. Walcott said 10
a reporter: of course | was almost
certain that could eat the quils when
the bet was made. | think any nan
who diets judiciously could do the
same as | have. The effect of these
quail dinners is al out the same as eat
ing the dry flesh Of a turkey, and the
only thing that is necessary is to get
Some liquid which will make the flesh
assimilate, and | think gastrine is the
best for that purpose. Other men have
tried eating. qualls-in fact it is an old
story and have suffered from indigestion
and after certain time the birds be.
came repulsive to them. But if all
the other II eals Of the day are eaten as
usual and the quails taken as an extra
meal the result will be the same as in
my case. If you fast to eat quail in
aiSSe.ie.sa;s enrc t. falln,..,,- ~ aa,,
tinuous eating of quail imparts an Of
fensive odor to the flesh, and in order
to overcome this Mr.. Walcott has
taken Turkish bath every day
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-02-16
Volume XXXlX.---No. So,
Absurdities of Mems Garb.

Knee breeches are coming into use
in Boston, said a fashionable Blank
steet tailor.
For every day wear?'
mo, not yet; but that will come in
time. | mean evening parties. am
making pair of knee breeches for a
young man to wear out evenings when
he goes in full dress. Several of our
'tonlest young men are wearing them
at dinners and at parties. In New
York a number of young men moving
IN the best circles have resolved wear
! ing knee ehre0aA..->:Al.-c-.a1.--a ~.
TUne result of Oscar Wilde's exam
pie and preaching, | suppose? ventur-
ed the newspaper man.
'Oh, no, Wilde didn't start it. Have
you heard of Gotch? Don't you know
that Gotch says that men are comfor-
tably dressed, but that beauty is con-
spiculously absent in their attire?'
1t appears that this rival of Oscar
has put his ideas regarding mems dress
into print. Trousers are not econom-
ical, inasmuch as they get baggy at
the knee long before they are worn
out, and they are always getting dirty
at the ankles. They are not specially
adapted either for cold or for wet. On
Il wet day it is the part from the knee
downward that catches the rain and
necessitates the changing Of the whole
garment. Indeed, it is the way in
which they ignore the knee joint that
renders trousers SO practically objec-
tionable. 1t is at this joint they drag
and not only spoil their owu shape, but
lnt1ict a sense of tightness over the
whole body by means Of the braces.
Why are buttons placed on the back
of coat? Mr.. Gotch remarks that
the tailors say that they are there to
mark the waist But why should the,
waist be marked? AS after of fact
the only reason for the exist.nc of
these two buttons is that they are a
survival from the time when they were
of use, when men buttoned back the
long flaps of their coats in order that
they might walk more freely, or found
them useful in sustaining the sword
belt. We have no flaps now; We wear
no swords now; then why keep the
buttons? Another rudimentary organ
may be found at the end of the sleeve.
There is always cuff marked, gener-
ally by double row of stitches, which
performs no useful service, unless it
be to remind us that our grandfathers
had faclngs to their sleeves, and that
the little buttons which still appear
at the end were Of real use when the
sles We was tight at the wrist Anoth-
er inevitable feature of the ccat is the
collar. In old times this collar was Of
some service; it was large and turned
up well in inclement weather, in order
to allow of its buttoning properly a.
round the neck, a nick was necessary.
But, though We hardly ever think Of
turning up an ordinary coat collar
and tiud it of little use if we do, we
still preserve both it and the nick as
survlvals. The stove pipe hat too is
only the carcase on which our ances-
tors were won't to display ribbons and
knots and other gauds. In itself it is
both ugly and uncomfortable. Then
we wear absurd ncckties that do not
tie and pins that do not pin.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-02-16

most powerful man, and it was not
a time for scruples. Quickly, it being
so dark he could not see the acrion,
| raised the blockjack-I had held IT
since | left the room-and brought it
down heavily upon his skull.
His hand left my throat, and life
less mass he rolled down the stairs
| found him at the foot quite still |
made good my escape, not stopping to
see il | had killed him. | do not know
to this day whether he is living or
dead. | never saw or heard Of him
again.
When | returned home | found a
very frightened little woman, but |
did not tell her Till long afterward the
history of that night. have never
since been in such "a fix, and If discrc-
ton and reasonable supply of COW
ardice can prev'nt l., never will be III
the future.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-02-16
]lOfiry.
LITTLE All SID.

Little Al Sid
Was Christian hid
i cute 'Ittls ,Bss, YOU Il declare
With ewes t4ll OF fun
Aud nose ibai tcguH
Right up at the roots OF his hair
Jolly and tat
Mas ihis tToIissons b,ai
As be played 'hfoaah tue long Summer d.
Aud braided hss etw
A. his father used 10
10 Chisaiand tar, iaE away.
0nyc o'es lava
That Ah Sid played upon,
\ tUmuls-Je~ arN ia ,Ae sFsiaS.
Mexican lgl,r1Hy g.
sad he With sItkfng eve
Ne ca.ybes aud Fu.. 4 an q ,Gk
Tnea rtb MS cap
tie s'sgts i,a rsp-
TIL, ,aaeeeu; bamb.s- tee
And put as remains
Ia ,ts sat OF hl> yzus
Fer psck,t iaers haI ghe CH1sev
Duwn On ths green
st bs 5igTr satdlae,
Ia sts ,e hat as strangely dsu4r~
\ al $st3 stiH estB
THat 49, tElusssi 90 sin
Ns asasast Gus b4tglsay saEs
Little Ab sd
Nss eags -
Nor could tou expect hiIH ~ susss
Y has kfnd u = beg
lie as halGssk 80 surs
Ia the fs,d, Ot his lglsr. r.ctsss. asxss
kJ-ys kI-y .P-ys
AA 80 gsssi a. hr
Esss hsrs.el5s ug 'fva Fbattgct
Mani i4k .z-kAn
b-E gm NJ. 5taE u2n~-
[ ~ Jutf!.Gy te.ir assla uet
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-02-16
TUFTS
EXPECT0RANT

Il composed cf Herbal anA Nsssl S<ssos4s rsys1.
urts, which p~rmeate the substance ofthe
Lungs, expe~torates she ssrtd matter
that collects Ia tAe BsoGscAlal IHtas. ard iaFr. Q
soothing coating, shich relieves the ir-
rfeaflon shx. Gauss the cough. IL efea n 90
the az, w hen eafee bled by disease. avtsus.
a.es The slEealAsson ef The blood. aA4 erzees ,hs
nervous sTxssn- slighs colds often ead In
consumption. Il IL dangerous to ns gisct
them. Apply the remedy promptly. \
tes. OF iwraiy years warrants ;hs asarS;tcE thai
no remedy has ever BEEN found a that 10
prompt in its effects "a TUFTS tIpecIeRAAT.
single dose raises the phfs & I'M. sabssGss
ia 4una;ion. al! IA sFSgSlIiY the zo-s
obstinate cough. A pleasant cordial, chill
drcn take II readily. Fer Group n Il
Invaluable asi shouLd - N sv~sy family.
In 25e, and Sl Rofslr.
The daily enterprise. [volume] (Livingston, Mont.) 1883-1884, 1883-07-25
Why r. g hey Was Hang.

William Rigney. employed az bar
keeper in the Cosmopolitan theatre saloon,
IN company with another man; at an early
hour Saturday morning, attempted to en-
! ter the residence OF Mr.. Campbell ON the
corner Of Bridge and Seventh streets.
When ordered to dcsist they became abus-
i've and used insulting and improper Ian
guacc to the inmates of the house Mr..
Charles Brown. who lives opposite to Mr..
Campbell's house, hearing the disturbance
hastened across the street, grasping as he
started stout cudgcl in his hands. The
assailants still demanded admittance. Mr..
Cam pbeiE struck one a powerful blow,
which Induced him to beat hasty retreat.
The other one, HiGney, fell to Mr.. Browns
let snd was rapidly brought to terms ty /,
vigorous blow on the SIDE OF t'.e head.
which laid him sensciess on tle ground
Rigney was carried to jail and Dr. Wood
was called 10 attend HIM. He 4bIed con-
siaerahly, but We understand ahc will
speedily recover from his wound. It is to
he hoped he will receive o lesson through
the aid Of the next grand jury which vii
viii he a warning to eli trcspassers. IT IS
a new thing Tor ontrages of this kind to
disturb tile peace and good order Of Miles
City, and .too strenuous measures cannot
be adopted for the protection of domestic
privacy from -nfsianly intrusion.
The above. ohtained indirectly from the
Miles City Press seems to contain HE
substance Of the causes which led 20 Ri,.-
ney's death at the hands of a moi. We
have received no account Of the lynching,
SIS the Press has either suspended pu,lics-
ton during the heat Of the excitement in
Miles, orcopsiders the EErEappIsE un-
worthy Of a place on its exchange LIST
when il has . real good news item to COM
municate.
The daily enterprise. [volume] (Livingston, Mont.) 1883-1884, 1883-07-25
Price, Ten Cents.

/ views with her and tried to induce her to
go home with him. but was unsuccessful,
and on Monday, shortly after dinner, he
assaulted her in her room in the hotel,
cutting her head and face badly before
anyone could Interfere. 10 was arrested
bv Deputy Sheriff Wilson. and a pocket
knife unopened found in bis hand. Great
| sympathy was expressed for Mrs. Dapper
and her children, and all are indignant at
Dapper, as the assault was entirely rnpro-
voked. He had been drinking hare for
several days and worrying over ms family
troubles, and since his arrest seems to feel
his disgrace kcenly, and claims he was
almost Wild with drink, and worried at his
,wifes leaving him. Dapper had q hear
ing before Judge McSweeny and was tin
ed $50 and cost
A. E Solevers saloon in Dillon was en-
tered one night last week and 81 800 in
money and securities stolen. The same
night an attempt was made to burglarizc
a private residence in the same town. but
was frustrated 10y the arousal of the in
mates The propriety Of organizing a j.
7-77 .ociety is discussed.
TIE land embraced in the old Blackfeet
agency, IN northern Montana, was sold
Wednesday morning at the land office i'll
Helena bv Register Atkinson to the high
est bidder The reservation contained
only $40 acres, being section 10, township
No. "a north, range west. The land
was sold in S0-acre lots and was purchased
by the following persons: D. W. Buck,
16G acres st $1.25 per acre; 0. G. Cooper,
100 acres at $3.50 acres at $3.50, and 800
acres at 1926 per acre.
Al improvements made by the govern
mcnt, even TO the last rail OF corral, had
been taken off the land.
Hon. Martin Maginnis is in receipt Of a
letter from the postoflice department re-
gardipg postoflices and mail service as
follows:
1st. From Olden u Elkhorn, and post
offices to be established at Rose Mound,
Carpenter, Billlcamp and ElkhoIn.
2nd. From Fort Benton by Weather
wax to Fort Conrad, and postotiices to be
established ct the last two places.
3rd. From Deweys to Wisdom, and
postofiice at the latter place; and
AtI. From Beeman to the mouth of
Muddy Creek, in the Rosebud valley,
where o roatoiFice is to be established.
As soon as the postoffices shall be es-
tablished, the petitions for service will be
taken up and considered.
First class fare from ST. Paul to the
Pacific coast points on the Northern Pac-
i1ic will be one hundren dollars; imme-
grant, forty five. One hundred pounds Of
baggage on e>ch full ticket, aald fifty
wounds on half tickets.
There is enough ilroad iron piled up
in Missoula to lay forty miles Of track.
The daily enterprise. [volume] (Livingston, Mont.) 1883-1884, 1883-07-25

The city council OF Helena is cndeaVo,-
ing TO encourage tue building Of q street
railway.
w s. f.ewis, a Butte attorney, GOT
himself into Jail for stealing Law books
from his Professional breathern.
The frs! story of the supcrstructare Of
the new School House in Dillon IS up.
The building, ;ss ii goes upwards, presents
Al imposing appearance.
II IS now generally believed that tie
proposed tunnel between tEie,Tcto:l and
the Missouri river, for the purpose OF set
siing water power, viii Lc successful.
Deer lodge adds its name TO the list OF
Montana towns that arc infested WITH
rollers and thieves, and is contemplating
summary measures for their expulsion.
Il is believed that the Texas horse dis
es,se.. w!icchis nov raging ia Dakota, has
i. .sde IFS appearance nIeiena. At any
rate one. o. two Helena horses IRE affected
ay something resembling it.
The Een.on Record says joseph Ia, :
per was arrested or Monday, at Ciendeain
charged with an assaal: with
iHtcnt to XIII his wife at the Barker
hoase. Dapper add his vile have been
having tionblc for some time. and ON sun
day Mrs. Dappcr, during her husbands
abscnce from !sun. iock her three child
rem 70 the he;tsl and refused to return T..
t;,s house again. rspffr hasi seT.ral ln-