Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1883-11-17
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS.
WHAT WE FIND IN THEM TO SMILE
OVER THIS WEEK..
HIS rAss.

a pass DelODBlnS " ouc VI AS'
ers who had an advertisement in his
paper. After examining it the conductor
looked at it and the editor, and said:
This pass is crooked"
Guess rot" said the editor, blandly.
"But / say it is"
That's jcst where you are fooling
Yourself; it's mo that's crooked. The
l,ass is all right enougl."- 7eIos .SU: |
',gs.
WONDERFUL TALE, WONDERFUL SPRING.
An A!kangas editor. who recently
visited Eureka Springs, ]. t., wrote to
his newspaper that a hounds tail was
accidentally cut of near Harding Spring;
that the dog drank Of the waters and
hat a new tai! grew; that meantime the
discovered cAudal appendage, having
been thrown into the spring, grew to the
dog, and tina. then the dogs owner had
two dogs. But the veracious editor
doesn't add, eff you don't believe it
there's one Of the dogs" The average
Eurekan, however, believes.
HOW HH LOST HIS RECKONING.
A correspondent Of a Boston paper
tells Of a fellow-travcler who amused
him very much. He was Il man who
had lost one of the four bundles which
his rather severe wife had entrusted to
his charge.
How'd you come to DO it, she
asked.
81 lost my %rcckonin', Nancy" he
mecklv replied; and then, seeing that
she was not in q mood to consider OK
cuses, he turned to me with the rest of
the explanation: Il alters keep count
OF my fingers, ye see, but my hands
amt reliable no longer" Hc held mp a
hand from which II finger was missing.
81 chopped off that finger las spring,
and that's what upsets my calculations.
There WIZ just en- menny bundles ez /
had fingers on the hand that l told 'em
off on-but it must O been t'other hand"
A| AAA~Ass
A Detroit lawyer who had business in
one of the northern counties a shorttime
since put in a night at a farm house.
1t WIS II log-structure containing two
rooms and snoh furniture as pioneers
get along with. The family consisted
of an old man, his wife, and a girl OF
twenty, who was slashing around bare
footed and had a fist like a slugger.
After supper the old woman took Q seat
in front Of the lawyer and suddenly
asked:
"Do you wear SIGH fine buds all the
timoY"
"Allr the time, madam"
''Is that a real diamond in your shirt ?
"It is"
and l heard you tell the old man
you had a horse and buggy at homer"
eyes, ma'am."
"And that watch and chain are real
gold, l suppose?'
Eyes, the real stuff"
Cost as much A. SCOOP"
Eyes, over $500"
"My stars Why, you must get as
much as $40 q month and board ?" she
gnsped.
Madam, l sometimes make $50 pei
day" be placidly replied.
"Shoo! Why, you are worth a thou.
sand dollars?'
"Yes, ten times that"
Stars and stars y"
There was all interval of silence MS she
recovered from her amazement. Their
she tip-toed to the corner OF the house
to see If there were any eavesdroppers.
Coming back she walked up to the law
yer and dropped her voice to a whispe,
and said:
Say! We've bin saving Sally these
last two years for tho boss of q saw mil
four miles up the creek, but if you ar.
struck or her and she is struck Oh Won
I'll run the old man six miles through
the brush after q preacher to do til,
splicing
The lawyer had to decline on tn,
grounds of having a wife i'll Detroit
end the old woman felt 80 bad that tn,
husband had to rise at midnight an,
make a mustard plaster. Dttroit Fro
Press.
A WESTERN TRIP.
A wholesale merchant Of New Yorl
city, who has Just returned from tn
West, admits that he had never give,
that country proper credit for its spir
tied enterprise. AS he passed through
Detroit he was sought out and offered
$50 coffin for S2S, with the deed of
burial lot thrown in. In Chicago a mai
offered to kill him for three cents, Ant
an ice wagon went a square out Of it
way te u over him. In %Indianapoli
he found one Of his old employees, VIII,
admitted an embezzlement as far back a
1SSQ opS foyco1 him 20 %aIe a oh>,l, t.