The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-08-29
TIE PRESIDENT AND TIE COW
BOYS.

1t is to be hoped that the cowboys will not
lasxo Arthur We noticed few days since
that "Chetp after putting up heavily lost a
big Jack pot" Upon a low estimate it
must have cost as much as 5000 of Garfield
salary. 1t was altogether deplorable.
"Chet,' it was said by the Indianapolis Jour
nal, took Ga-fields Office "by the act Of
God" and vet We find him playing draw
poker in far away camp, and betting h sav-
lily to win lack pot" Then comes the
news that having eaten too much fish he WAS
all broken up, abdomen disturbed, pulse an
temperature abnormal one moment nauses,
the next doubling up gripings Indicative
OF internal turbulence and revolt. All
these things are bad-bad for "Chet, bad
for a man made President shy the act of
Cod" And now comes the story that the
cowboys are after the man made President
by the ACT of God" What do the cowboys
want with "Chet?" What will they do with
him? Possibly take him to a mountain cave
and hold him for a ransom. If COW boys
were cannlbals We might imagine that they
would eat the President, but they are not
cannibals, hence We assume tina. it is not
their intention to pick the Presidents bones.
They will not broil. roast, nor stew him,
work him into sausage for export or home
consumption. Wonder what Bismarck would
say if per chance he should discover an inn
portation marked Picked Chef" or "Chet
Hams" "Chet Shoulders" "Chet Bacon"
But we dismiss such reflections. 1t is
hardly probable that the cowboys
want "Chet'' for a "stiff," a Ia Tewks-
bury to sell 10 Harvard Professors, nor
do we apprehend that the cowboys want to
skin the President for the purpose OF supply
ing the Boston market with human leather.
1t would seem reasonable to conclude that
the cowboys want to make money and have
hit upon the italian plan. Catch the Presi-
dent, run him off 10 some out-of-the way
place and make the g. o. 7. p. RAMON him.
What amount OF money they would demand
is a matter of conjecture. The President is not
rich and would doubtless have to raise the
ramon money by subscription. My Dear
Hubbell' might make Government ployes
pony-up, but that would take time, and the
President would want TO leave the COM
panionship of the cowboys as soon as possible
1t is not to be presumed that the Star Route
contractor weuld contribute red" The
only chance for quick work would be to in
terest Jay Gould. But, as in the case of
Stanley Matthews, Gould would want a
pledge that Arthur, when released from the
cowboys, would run the Government in his
interests, patent rat trap, wstered stocks, etc
to the end OF the chapter and OF his admins
tIation But who is there ID act as agent for
Arthur? Dorsey would be the man if he could
be induced to take hold OF the business. But
Dorsey would rather see Arthur lassoed than
not Indeed, the cowboy enterprise may
have been set on foot by Dorsey himself.
Who knows? The whole thing looks
bad for Arthur from any and every
point of observation. If the COW boys catch
Arthur, who will be President ad interim:
Will vacancy be declared so that Edmuuds
can draw the highest prize in the COW boy
lottery? If Edplunds gets in could Arthur
get HIM out provided the COW boys permit
ted him to return to Washington City?
We hope the COW boys will not catch Ar
thur. The bare possibility of such catastro
phe is chilling. Garfield on the highlands o.
Erie, "Chet" in 8 cave, Edmunds in the
White House and the g. o. T. p. going to the
devil by an expedited Star Route Well, die
Won pver2