Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-11-23
ABOUT TOADs
Their ClevcrnCss nnd Other Compcnsn.
tiOns for Being Ugly-A Seemingly
PhilOsophic and solemn Indiner-
cnCc 10 NIL Things


tions for Being Ugiy-A sccmingll
Philosophic and solemn Indiner
cmcc TO all Things
From Longmans Magazine.l
1t will surprise some people to learn tha
Great Britain regularly imports ioads from
Australia and elsewhere, carefully packet
like shellcss plover's eggs with moss Ii
wooden boxes, and that they "fctch fiom {;
10 "a per hundred" Those who know toad
Intimately will not, however, be surprised a
that; for toad has his good points-not ii
his person, indeed, for that is only distin
guishcd by certain "baggy squatness' o.
outline, said to have been, Intentionally en-
| shrincd by Milton in his famous description
of Satan, who
Sat like toad squat at the car OF Eve.
But in greenhouse or garden, other thar
that Of Eden, the toad is as welcome as ht
is out of place in q drawing room. Soil
tude and moisture are his elements
With these and gnats in abundance he will
| slraddle in comfortable obesity to the
end of his days. An American writer, Mr..
Dudley Warner, has recorded his experience
that to keep beetles-"bugs' he calls them
out of a melon patch, next to SCOT, which Is
blacker than the beetles, and so disgusts them
into going away, the best thing in the world
is toad. The difficulty In keeping the toad
on guard where you have placed HIM can be
obvlated by building a light fence oil around
him. Then, we are told 1t is touching to oh.
serve the intimate relations which the toad q,
once establishes with the "black bug" the
"straddc bug" and the "striped bug, the
saddest of the year" In this country the
great artifice of the toad IN stalking an uu.
wary gnat lies in is prolonged stimulation OF
phlosophc indifference to oil earthly
appetites. With the wisdom, and certainly
with the ugliuess, of Socrates, the toad
appears to ponder upon the great inscruta-
BILE, and takes up his position, plunged in
deep thought, few inches from his quarry.
A lcng silence succeeds, thcm-hap There
is one gnat less in the world, aud again that
mystic solemnty is drawn like mask over
the toads wrinkled and corrugated coun-
tenancc. A quick eye might perhaps have
noticed some slight vibration of the air be-
tween the insect and the toad, but neither
seemed to stir, and yet the gnat has gone
and the toad has swallowed it. For Provi
dence has compensated the toad for his
evil reputation by the gift of a patent re-
versibe tongue, firmly fixed in front and
with the gummy free end pointing down his
throat. This organ he flllips out suddenly
and nails his mosquito with scientific
dextcrity.
This gift, however. which may he said ~
he the only merit of modern toad, has been
consistently ignored by the poets and Others
who have held their crooked mirrors up to
nature from time 10 time. What is marvel
Gus in nature has little attraction for the in.
spircd poet unless 1t be also untrue. This is
the grand secret of 'poesic.' When Shake
spearc lived TO write, toads were power in
this country. They possessed the valuable
secret, since lost in great part, of getting
swcltered venom under cold stones. For
many years the semi-scientifc public had
eurned TO regard this story as an ignorant
superstition, and the toad itsef-at die
tance-as perfectly harmless aud much ma
ligned reptile. Real science, however, in the
guise Of The Lancet has come more or less
to Shakespearc's rescuc for that journal
last year discovered more su0 that the venom
of toad "injectcd beneath the skin OF a
dos"-always some unhappy dog is the
"friend of man" in his pursuit OF science as
of woodcocks-"produces convulsicps"
When this piece of intelligence shall perco-
late into country districts it will be hailed
with pleasure not that there they value
Shakespeare more but that they love toads
less. The summary immolation of toads,
whenever aud wherever foHnd. has long been
the sacred privilege aud pasllme VI the YOUTH
full rustic and The Lanetts timely "discov-
cry" will set the seal of scientific authority
upon the act.
1t was not always necessary, however, to
inject the the toads venom beneath the skins
of dogs to find ont that it was tolerablY
powerful. A duke once loved maiden of
low degree. Her father and lover disap-
proved, but the ,magnanimous nobleman did
not allow that unfortunate circumstance 10
embitter their relations as landlord and ten
ant lie invited them to feast at the ducal
mansion wien they, not content apparently
with all the special dishes he had provided
for them, fooishy ate leaf (history docs
not state which took the larger portion) of
rue that grew in the garden. Now, it un-
fortunately happened that toad had bur-
rowed under that identical plant, and both OF
the men died during the afternoon. There
could be no doubt about the matter. There
was the plant, there were the dead men !;
and when the rue by the dukes orders, was
uprooted, the toad was found underneath,
and promptly inundated. The men were
buried and his Grace received much COM
mendation for his discretion In divining the
causd mortis. Whether the course of true
love ran subsequently, smooth Is uncertain.
At all events the duke never married the
maiden. But the impartial toad of those days
did not coutlne itself to doing to death i'm
pedimcntal male relations. 1t could and did
spit venom upon man and beast with dis
elimination and accuracy from distance of
many cubts. The cattle disease of the period,
as well as those mysterious, human deaths,
which a modern jury would bring in as
"wilful murder against persons unknown,
| were generally understood TO be the work of
the hated batrachiad 1t would indeed, not
i a, ,l,s1.. ~, l~l
been annihilalcd for their msdccds.
Still, it is some consolation to know that
even in the rank hey day OF its venom the
toad was sometimes ovcr-matcbed. Tho
as,utc spider Of ancient times secretcd ar
opposition poison so deadly that in single
combat with the toad it invariably triumph
ed. Ills Grace the Duke Of Bedford, we ar,
told, was orce taking his walk with diver
gentlemen of his household, when they cspi
cd spider and toad struggling near
"cortaine plsnte.n The Duke was apparent
ly not practical botaui,t but the toad was
and knew that tie "certanc plante' wa
cillcacious as an antidotc to spiders venom
After each round it retired to cat a leaf, ant
returned to the charge with longer and "mor
manful' leaps His Grace thereupo
ordered certain honorable gentleman t
uproot the plant, which was speed
lly done. lhcn a marvel, wonderful 10 re
late, came to pass. The toad, who ha
r "comc up smiling" for the fifteenth time
: was bitten us usual by his agile antagonist
( and, rctreating for medicine, found ii gone
: Whcreupon it gave itself up TO despair
. "grcw blacke, and burst asundtr lnsomuc
r that all were astonished." How much
a was necessary that the toad should bur,
asunder before the company were astonishe
is not stated. People were apparently NJ
:, easily astonshed in those days. Still the
! were practical; for goodly society
monks having observed toad ''to take u
his station" upon the mouth of a sleepir
y brother, "and knowing that to arouse hi
u was certain Geatb, but 20 leave the auim
u there was WORSE" carried the sleeper car
II fully into corner of the room where the
d was a spiders web. Guessing at on
1t what was required of her, The spid