The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1883-04-04
TKH BAD Boys BOQUET.

',oay, do you think little joke does
any harm?n asked the bad boy of the
grocery man as he came in with his
Sunday suit on, and boquet in his but
ton-hole.
mo, sir,n said the groceryman, as he
licked off the syrup that dripped from q
Quart measure, from which he had been
filling a Jug. Il hold that a man that
gets mad at a practical joke, IS a fool.
That's nice bouquet you have in your
coat. What is lt-pansies? Let me
smell of it, and the groceryman bent
over in front of the boy to take Whit at
the boquet. AS he did 50 stream OF
water shot out Of the innocent looking
bouuet and struck him full in the face.
''You young reprobate," said the
groceryman to the boy, as he took up
an axe-helve and started for him, what
kind of golblasted squirt gun have you
got there? III maui you by thunder,
and he rolled up his shirt sleeves.
Here let me show it TO you" said the
boy. There is a rubber hose runs from
the bouquet, inside my coat to my pants
pocket, and there is a bulb Of rubber
that holds about half pint, and when
feller smells Of the posy, / squeeze the
bulb. It's fun, where you don't squirt
it on person that gets mad.o
The grocery man said he would give
the boy half a pound of figs if he would
lend the bouquet to him for half an hour
to PLAY it on customer and the Doy
fixed it on the grocery man, and turned
the nozzle so it would squirt right back
into the grocery mans face. tie tired
it on the first customer that came in,
and got it right in his own face, and
then the bulb in his pants pocket got to
leaking, and the rest of the water ran
down the grocery mans trousers leg,
and he gave it up in disgust, ana handeo
it back to the boy. How was it that
YOUR pa had to be carried home from
the sociable in lack the other night?'
asked the grocery man, as he stood close
to the stove so his pants leg would dry.
HE has not got to drinking again, has
he?'
"Oh, no,n said the boy, as he filled
the bulb with vinegar, to practice on ms
chum. ''You see | got pa to smell OF IL,
and [ Just filled him chuck full OF water.
He got mad and called me all kind OF
names, and said I was no good on eafth
and | would fetch up in the states prison
and then he wanted to borrow 1T to wear
to the sociable. He said he would have
more fun than you could shake suck
at. and asked him if he didn't think
he would fetch in the states prison, ana
he said it was different with man. lie
said that when a man played JOKE
there was certain dignity about 1t That
was lacking in boy. So | lent 1t 20
him, and we al went to the soclable III
the basement of the church. | never
see pa more kitteny than he was that
night. He filled the bulb with ICE
water and the first one he got to smeii
of his button hole bouquet was an olo
maid. He began talking about Wnat Q
great work the christian Wimmln OF the
land were doing in educating the heath
en-; she felt real good, and then sac
noticed pas posy in his button hole, ano
she touched it, and then reacheu over
her beak to smell of it, Pa he squeezed
the bulb, and about half teacupful o.
water struck her right in the nose, ane
some of it went into her mouth; ana, oI
my! didn't she yell? The sisters gain
cred around her, and they SAID ner lace
was all prespiratien, and the paint Was 'B
coming off, and they took her Ia lne
kitchen, and the wimmen told the min
lister and the deacons, and they Went .
pa for an explanation, and he told IneII
it was not so, and the minister GOT IL
terested and got near pa, and pa let III
water fly at him, and hit him IN Inc ey'
and then a deacon got dose, ana p'
laughed, and then the minister Wn'
used to go to college and be q hazer ane