Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-04-13
CHILDISH, W.T..
Some o. the Quaint Remarks Originated by the
Juveniles.
TELLS WHAT He GiGIiT NOT 40
TELL.


TELL.
Children say Inany quaint things.
Sometimes. too. there Is a sort of Wit
iii the pierre ny dIrectness with which
they 90 TO the heart of Il question.
MIR. Howard Paul. in a collection
which he has Just published of
Clever Things SAID by Children.
makes them too clever by half
The story of the boarding school
student who could not be made to
understand the nature of a miracle.
and who. instead of giving the an
swer expected from him. declared
that if he saw the moon shining in
the daytime he would say it was the
SUN. and that if his master assured
him it was not the sun he should say
his master was drunk, appeared
originally in an official report. The
mingled dullness and ingenuity with
which children will sometimes throw
new light on question by their
mode of answering it is often very
amusing. In order to explain in a
strikingly intelligible manner the
necessity of regulating ones conduct,
a schoolmaster asks boy what, when
a watch goes sometimes too fast.
sometimes too slow. the owner ought
to do with it. Sell it," replies the
boy. The reputation for veracity
enjoyed by George Washington in
America has been made by his admir-
ing fellow countrymen the subject of
innumerable jests, and it appears
that some lecturer on moral philos-
ophy, having questioned a pupil as
to why Washington's birthday was
celebrated more than the lecturers
birthday, received a prompt answer,
because he never told lie
There can be no doubt as to the
sharpness Tor of the insolence) of the
boy who, as he was removing the
outer part of a piece of cheese, and
was told by his father. in a tone of
remonstrance, that he ate the rind,
answered. Il am cutting this off for
you" Many of the sayings ascribed
to little children are at least as rude
as they are witty. What else can be
said Of daring repartee uttered by
the boy WHO wished first to know
whether his grandpa had been with
Noah in the ark, and being answered
curly in the negative inquired of
the old man how it was that he
escaped drowning? There is a deep
pathos, on the other hand, in the tale
of the child who, having been pre-
sented with a half crown, and as
sured, moreover, that it was a good
one, expressed his regret, saying that
if it had been bad he might have kept
it, but that as it was good his parents
would take it from him. There is
drollery sometimes in the naivete
with which child will mistake the
character of an action. Ayoung man,
for instance, coming home from a
party SO late that he thought it desir
able to take off his boots before walk
ing up stains, was told by his infant
brother from commanding position
on the staircase, that he need not be
afraid of waking the family, since
they were "all ue."
To stories of the ''enfant terrible"
kind there is really no end, for the
terrible child is always among us.
and never ceases saying the wrong
thing at the wrong moment. 1t was
one of Gavarni's own ''enfants ter.
ribles' who, when the visitor showed
the child a packet of bonbons and
said he should give them to him upon
going away, called upon the gentle
man to depart at once. Some of
Gavarni,s "enfants terribles" were
almost too terrible to be funny. They
let out the most compromising things
about their parents. In English
stories uf the same type the ''cnfant
terrible" confines himself to identity
ing a casual acquaintance as the man
who kissed his sister on the night of
party. There was not much in the
indiscretion committed by child
who bad been warned not to make
any personal remarks to a gentleman
who has recently lost his arm in
battle. "She obeyed orders implicitly
until she went to kiss him; Good
night she exclaimed; Il haven't said
anything about your poor arm. have
l." Heroes do not as a rule resent
illusions to wounds honorably gained
The case may be here mentioned of
a boy who in Il large assembly caused
a general feeling of CONSERVATION by
claiming pecuniary reward for
exceptional merit just displayed. He
had been cautioned not on any ac-
count to laugh during the singing of
Il lady who could not sing without
making grimaces, and had been
promised sixpence if he succeeded in
complying with the injunction given
to him. j. want my sixpenc,. ma"
he cried out at the end Of more
than usually snowy cavatina; Il
didn't laugh once" Some Of Mr..
Howard paul's best stories of clever
sayings by children present. as before
observed, the defect Of endowing the
little ones with wit beyond their
years. The explanation. however. is
good. whether "a little girl gave it
or not. OF bearing false witness
against your neighbor," 10 the effect
that 1T was when nobody did moth
ing and somebody went and told it."