Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-12-01
coUKTsH1P AND MARRIAGE.

family as this; none SO much requires In
telliuent consideration as this, and in no
other does ignorance so generally prevail.
In no engagement is dishonesty so fatal to
| happipess. and in no other is there go much
deception practiced. 1t is sphere IN
which the clearest light is needed. and into
none do we enter so blindiy. The very ma
ture of q courtship demands the fullest I'm.
/ folding of character, and at no other time
| do we so much endeavor to hide the real
with an assumed demeanor. At no time
should we appear SO precisely as we are,
| and at no time do we so much endeavor to
appear as we are not.
Mistakes in any other undertaking may
be corrected or outlived, but a mistake in
marriage is mistake for life. Evils that
/ follow NAV haunt generations that succeed
it. Young ladies strive to gam the ad'
| mirstion of young men by their skill IN
attire and decoration OF their natural
bodies lust as if a sensible man would pre-.
| fer an artificial woman instead OF an una.
dorned specimen of the noblest work OF
| God"
But alas too many are not sensible;
hence the matrimonial misery In the world.
Pltiabie is the woman whose husband was
woa by mechanical devices. His was
courtghip of love, inspired by superficial
beauty beneath which Is arbitrary nature,
and under whose shades his love will con-
geal, The flow of devotion inspired by a
| network of artistic sdornments will be
stiled, as the cataract is stllled by the
| chilling winds OF D cenlber. Thus the hap
piness OF two lives are bhghted.
The object Of a courtship should be the
| selection of life companion; hence, 1t
should be "a court of inquiry, voyage OF
investigation. Young men who can be
allnred by costly adornments, are not OF
that stable. common-sense type OF brave
and heroic men that make good husbands !;
and. 90 far as is applicable to the sex, the
same may be said OF young ladies'.
Look for well-developed signs of charsc'
| ter-executiyeness and hrmness, with JUS
tice and mercy blended. These are the
fundamental principles Of every good mans
character Their signs, or the absence of
them, are easily deteaged. If you do not
understand them, take a few lessons in
physoguomy. No love making, nor any.
thing Of a more serious nature than friend
ship should be INDUCED in, until the ele-
ments Of true COMPROMISING have been
found present. II in the Absence of any
other feeling this alone is found suff 3ient
to warrant harmony and accord, sufficient
TO inspire the confidence that should exist;
such confidence as would make each to the
other . safe custodian of his or her happi-
ness such confidence as the sister enjoys
IN brave and atfectionste BROTHER ano5her
step may be taken in the direction OF mat.
rimony.
But let the engagement be sealed with
the first kiss. Kissing may not always be
dangerous, or succeeded by evil, but it is
certain that kissing invariably precedes
shame and betrayed confidence. A young
lady who hopes to more permanently win
the affections of a sensible and deserving
young man by bessowing her kisses upon
him, Is deceiving herself, By showing
trmness and keeping him at little dis.
lance, you will incur his respect for you,
aud materially increase his desire to make
You his bride. The more difficult it is to
obtain thing, the more desirable it be-
comes. And especially is this true in court
ship. By assuming dignitied and re-
served attitude, clothed in an air OF pure
aud lovely womanhood, you will greatly
magnify his appreciation OF you, and kin.
die in his breast an irresistible desire to
make you his wife. Men love to think
| they have married a woman but few could
have won. Seek to command the gentle
mans respect 1t is the only sure founda-
ton upon which love can withstand the
stern realities OF life.
Never marry maa for money or because
he has money but as you should be sure
Of his ability to provide for you respecta-
bic living, it is but proper that, as evidence
Of such ability, he have a little money in
store. II in the past ne has been able to
no more than make his owa living, there Is
! 10 evidence that he will be able to do more
| in ths future. II he tells you ne can
not save his money while single, you
/ have reason to fear that he would
| not do so after marriage. Among the
! best signs of character, are good associa.
| tions, warm friends and plenty of them
| industry and neatness. Do not be discour-
aged because he mas enemies without
these he would be nonentity. This alone
is evidence that he has been doing some
thing, and it makes no difference what his
enemies say he did, or did not. Mems
| enemies are sure to say bad things about
them.
There are cases in which young men be.
] STOW lutlT ALleuLiOue upOu young lAuiSb,
month after month, with no intention or
| object other than her society. This may
| be. and often is, a noble object the society
of modest, refined young lady is not only
desirable, but reflects very much credit
upon the young man to whom it is cheer
! fully awarded But if the young man
! thus favored should have no desire or in.
tention to get married, he may be standing
! in the way of those who have; hence he
may be doing the young lady az injustice
in return for the privileges so long enjoyed.
! Young men often absent themselves from
! young ladies who receive regularly the at.
! tentions Of another, upon the very natural
supposition that they are engaged, or that
such ia the object OF their continued asso-
! citation. If a wife be Che object OF gen
tleman's visit to a lady, ii may be pre-
sumed that he knows something OF her
general character Clothed with such
| knowledge, half.dozen evenings spent in
her company will be sufficient to enable
| him to decide whether or not further cult
walton of the acquaintance Is necessary,
and if an adverse decision be the result,
some excuse should be offered for an ex-
/ pected absence for an indefinite period,
/ from which it will be understood that the
| lady can accept the company of whom she
is pleased without any breach of etiquette
OF uncourtesy to the former. If,
however, the lady should make IA
vorable impression on the young
man, his intention to get married,
at some time IN the near future, should no
! longer be withheld from her. Knowing so
much, she st once concsives the object Of
1 her visitor, and is at liberty to encourage
the oourtship or terminate 1t at once. II
is bad faith on her part, however to en-
courage i, If she Is certain that it can
never eliminate 10 marriage. At the same
! time, it IS not expected that either have
| decided in the matter the time has not
/ vet arrived at which such decision would
not be premature. But the time for in.
/ shutting the court OF inquiry, the time
to start upon voyage OF investigation, "
has come.
Hencefortn it is as much the duty of
each to disrobe their true character, as to
/ investigate the others. For the purpose
of thorough acquaintance, as much time
should be spent together as is expedient.
| These Investigations will have revealed at
the end of three or, at most, four months,
all that can be learned before marriage
An engagement is now in order, and If
to such there is objections, the courtship