Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1883-06-23
Uncle Remus's VOtoe

uncle kemuS'S N0tCs
81 hope you all young gentermens is
WELL" said Uncle Remus, as he entered
the editorial rooms of the Constitution
the other day. 81 mighty poly myself,
but dat amt bender me from hopin'
yuther folks is keepin way from de
doctor shops. Many en- many is de POI
creeter wat done bin ter de doctor shops
one time too much. Yit look at me. l
bin dar mighty nigh much ez anybody,
en- Miss Sally say deys lots er hard work
in me yit, 'vidin' anybody kin git it
outer me. In my young days | use ter
year talk dat de highest road ter de
berryin-groun' waz 'roun' by de doctor
shop, but spite DIES dat keeps on tax
ing der truck, an l amt see dat it do
me no harm. Eff any you young gen.
termens gifts ter feeling low down in de
sperets, en- sorter quare in de naborhoods
er de gizzard, you DIES rack 'roun' to
Mars Dock Alexander en- git some er
dem ar quiernine en- blue mast pills, en-
eff dey don't set you up, you kin DIES lay
de blame Onterm me. When ole Miss was
alive, de doctor ID come 'roun' bout dis
time er year, en- all de niggers, little en-
big, 'ud halter cum up en- Git dost er
jollup en- callymel; but deze days you
gotter hunt de doctor up en- cit piece
er paper en- beat 'roup' town twel you
kin fine some TN fer ter mixup de truck"
Uncle Remus paused, and then broke
out into loud laugh.
''Wat de name er goodness is | doin'p
/ DIES crope up yer fer ter AK you all
young gentemens sumpin, en- yer l is
runnin' on like cat-bird in peach
orchard. / dunner how you all is, but
l amt got no time fer ter be projikin."
"Gracious heaven!" exclaimed one of
the young men, ''do you hear thatp He
says he hasn't got time! Won't some
body lead him out and ask him to call
again and say one word-one little word
when he has got timer"
"En needer is l got time fer ter be
runnin' on longer you ALL" Uncle
Remus retorted indignantly. "You all
kin take yo' shears and split dem ar
newspapers wide open, but ole Remus
can't take no shears en- cut truck outer
ter folks gyardin, kaze eff L did dey'd
slap the law on me. En- eff / amt got
time fer ter stan yer en- talk, co'se L
amt got no time fer ter be gwine ter
law. Dat gyardin out dar at Wes' Een'
calling me right now, en- / amt got
minnit ter spar'-dat amt"
Suppose you 90 down in the fire.
escape" some one suggested, but Uncle
Remus ignored the hint.
''Man down dar on de street AK how I
gwine vote dis time, en- / DIES ruined up
yer fer ter AK you all gentermens eff
deyer gwinter be n'er lection in de
Nunited States er Georgy."
"Why, of course there is"
Snow, amt dat too muchr' ex-
claimed Uncle Remus, with unmistak-
able bitterness. ''Man 90 up en- vote,
en- he amt got no time ter change his
cloze TO he gotter rack up en- vote
ag'n."
"Why, haven't you heard about Boyn-
ton, Bacon and the restp"
81 year Miss Sally readin' out names
en- dates en- 'sputin' longer Mars John,
but tuck de idee dey wuz one er deze
yer cake-walks gwine on up dar."
Sup wherep"
"Up dar whar de sleepin' kyars comes
fun; some'rs up dar."
''He seems to be thoroughly familiar
with the geography of our common
remarked one of the young
men.
Uncle Remus grinned broadly.
81 lay dey don't fool me on de cake
walk, kaze dey wuz niger man in
one un UNI; but wat poster me is deze
yer 'lections followin' after one er n er
des lax drove er sheep Eve'y time
dey comes, ole Remus gifts in trouble
wuss en- wuss."
Why, sop'
"Des kaze. Mars John en- Miss Sally
gifts ter 'sputin' bout witch de bes' man
en- den dey comes after me. Hits
'Remus, how you gwine ter vote" en-
No you amt en- Yes you is ontwel
| DIES natally gifts wo' out Hits pull
en- haul, pull en- haul, day in en- day
put, en- amt got no peace er min
twel lection day done gone. Miss Sally
say vote dish yer way, Mars John say
vote dat az way, en- wen dat de case,
wat a ole niger like me gwine dop"
"Well, how do you vote, after ALP"
"Dat wat / want to know; dat des
zackly wat I'm after. Mars John, he
low he de boss, yit notices dat wen
Miss Sally say l amt gwine to git no
gravy on my grits dey amt no gravy
lar, en- de man W. at kin eat grits bidout
gravy is got mo- strenk in mis- stummuck
dan wat is. From dis out twell after
lie lection done good en- gone you kin
les put il down dat dc rheumatic done
struck me in de j'ints, en- hit'll be dat
.ervigous dat | can't move skacely. En-
sve'y time they say vote I'm gwine to
yrunt en- groan like one er deze yer
Wes' Pint ingines. But, shoe! / amt
rot time fer ter be runnin on yer wild
gou all. "--AtldntG (GG.) Constitution.