Connecticut western news., 1883-09-26
HE WAS NOT A SHYLoCK.

HE WAS NOT sHYLooK. A day or two ago a man who was at the Central depot to take train sud denly cried out that some one had stolen his valise, and he began such hullaba- loo that everybody had to be interested.
 q sot that ere satchel right down thar and stepped to the door," he ex- plained to Officer Button, ''and when I returned it was gone."
 seWell, you should have been careful. We are not responsible for such losses"
 'sYou ain't, eh? Whar's the Presi- dent?'
 "Out of the city, sir"
 "Whar's the Gineral Manager ?"
 "Hes sick abed." "Whar's the Superintendent ?" "Won't be here till four o'clock"
 "Wall, now, somebody's got to make good that loss or about dozen men will go to the hospital for six months apiece r
 "What was the value ?"
 "Fifty dollars and not cent less p
 sWhat were the contents ?"
 s'I had twelve shirts, a new suit of clothes, an overcoat, and lots of other things"
 "Was it a carpet sack? ?" sShe was."
 ''One handle gone and the lock broken?"
 sYes, one handle was gone, and I had her tied with string, 's
 els this it?" asked the officer, as he took the baggage off a bench not six feet away.
 'Great snakes that's her," chuckled the owner.
 In handing it to him the string broke, the bag flew open, and out rolled two old shirts, pair of socks, and five or six paper collars--all there was in it.
 ''Then these are the duds you wanted $50 forp' queried the officer.
 "No, sir p was the indignant reply. ''I should have taken the money for loss of time and damage to my feelings. I'm no Shylock, sir !''-Detroit Free Press.
 UNAPPRECIATIvE.
 "I fought for your freedom" said gentleman whom negro policeman was conducting to the lookup.
 You needn't try ter fight fur yourn, cap'n, fur if yer does I'll hit yer"
 "Ain't you got no respect for 8 man who helped to free you 9''
 '' I ain't steadyin bout dat, cap'n. Eff yer had enuff sense ters fight fur my freedom yer aughter hab enuff ter 'habe yerself airter I'se freed. Doan pull back dat way. I'll gin yer lick fust thing yer know dat'n ring so loud dat de fire engines will come out. Yer own freedom seems ter bodder yer much more den mine. "-Arkansaw Iraveler.
 MISS MrLLER's MILK PITCHER. Miss Sarah Miller, young lady with bangs and 8 sorrowful expression, was recently brought into Justice Meech's office charged with assault and battery. There was case on trial and she told her story to a reporter. She was the proprietor of boarding house at the corner of Wabash avenue and Twenty-second street. A certain Mrs. Mary Klepper was a lodger there. A war of words drifted into war of acts, and Mrs Klepper made charge on Miss Miller. ....
 "But what are you arrested for?" in- quired the reporter. "Why, don't hardly know, it was Mrs. Klepper's own fault. She run into the pitcher with her head and cut herself"
 "But where was the pitcher?"
 "Oh, that was in my hand"
 The case was continued and Miss Miller will be called upon to explain how she allowed Mrs. Klepper to run her head against the pitcher. Chicago HerGld GLrTTERING PRIsMATIC LIGHTS. Much can be found to interest stran. ger in Albany, N. Y. There's the Greenbush bridge. for instance One evening last week I sat near young couple. The sixteen year old miss was Greenbush lily and the male escort all Albany tight-pants, silver-headed cane and an abbreviated-coat young man. From their conversation judged the , Greenbush lily had no soul for TO. nance. Tight-pants was full of it-he longed to unload ton in the Lly's ear.
 "Do you See those glittering prismatie ! lights on the sparkling waters," he asked so loud that the bridge mar snickered
 "Well, I guess" she replied in an ice cream voice.
 "How romantic they sparkle as each