Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-10-13
SATURDAY SMILES.

Emerson said, ''There is always room for g
man of force" He had probably met Sullivan
in crOwd.-The Judge.
'Let us be thankful" calculates the Indian.
apOlis Sentinel that Hayes or Lew Wallace, OF
some other of the latter-day saints, did not jolt
stamp of the day"
$50 your husband is critic? Now tell me-
does he always write Just what he thinks about
a play!" "Oh. dear, no! 1t wouldn't do. His
paper goes into the best families, and profanity
| is out of the question. "-Boston TRANSCRIPT
Old Mrs. Pinaphor hopes that no more lives
will be sacrificed in the hunt for the north pole
until some persons go out there and ascertain
whether such pole really exists.-Norristo,cn
Herald
Philadelphia lawyer, too proud to allow
his friends to suppose that he practises in the
divorce courts, advertises "Misft marriages a
| speciality"
| Neighborly consideration is so rare that it is
pleasant to be able to record any instance of it..
Mr.. Tantivvy recently announced to friend
residing on the opposite side of the street that
it was his intention to move out into the
country. "But | thought you much preferred
city life?" $50 do" returned Mr. Tantivvy;
''but have boy who is going to take lessons
on the accordion next month. "-Brooklyn Eaqle.
| Who says it is unhealthy to sleep in feathers?
Look at the spring chicken and see how tough
| he is.
1Ht COuISc VI True love Is running smoother.
| The ice cream season is over and portage re-
duccd one third.-Lynn Bee.
| Pm glad Billy had the sense to marry a
| settled old maid," said Grandma Winkam at
| the wedding. Gals is hity-tity and widders is
kinder overrulin' and upsettin.' Old maids is
kinder thankful and willing to please
| Christian at Work.
"Aunty, vat makes the little baby cry so? Do
it want it's mudder2" Eyes, dear, and it's fodder,
| toO!''
There is father in Pittsburg mean enough to
call his daughter Misery, because she loves
company. PItsburg Telegraph.
| A guieless girl wrote to her adorer thus:
John, for father has been having his boots half
| soled and two rows of nails around the toes"
"Dear Louise, don't let the men come too
near to you when counting" "Oh. no, dear ma.
When Charles is here we have a chair between
| u.s." Mother thinksthe answer is rather ambigu-
| Gus.
| A Milwaukee belle attending theater in New
York city recently complained In one of the
scenes that the light was too dim tOsee the act
! ing properly. won't you try this CLASP"
asked her escort, handing her his lorgnet.
with her handkerchief, she placed it to her lips,
took a long pull, and then handed 1t back in
great disgust. sayings "Why, there amt q drop
in it!"-C Chicago Herald.
Josie was accused by her sister Of telling q
faisehood. She at first denied, but afterward
said by way Of extenuati0n, 'fWell, suppose I
did lie; everybody lies but God and George
Washington" This same little girl was asked
| II she said her prayers. She replied, "NO;
have to take Kennedy's medicine, and that's
enough without saying my prayers"
A schoolboy remarks that when his father I'M
dertakes to ''show him what is what" he only
| finds ont which is switch.
It rather Disguised Vermont man who went
| 20 neighbours barn to steal cow to find when
| he got theanimal home that it was his own COW,
which his neighbor had stolen earlier in the
night. He says the neighbor ia q COMPOUNDED
| thief.
"Do you ever gambler" she asked, as they set
together, her hand in his. He replied. '.NO,
but If wanted to now would be my time"
chow so?' because hold q beautiful hand"
| The engagement is announced.-Someyp
Journal
The polecat is supposed to have been the orr
| ginal little one for q scent. "-Rochester En-
press.
! dentists Appearances apt to deceive one.
| The more he looks down in the mouth the bet
ter he feels.-P Philadelphia Call