The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1883-08-01
HOW HE GOT OUT OF 1T.

HOW HE GOT OUT OF LIZ.
"For goodness sakel what's the mat
ter, DodP'' exclaimed Sidney Stitt,
looking up from the bachelor occupa-
ton of sewing on q button, in which his
friends sudden entrance caused him to
lose a stitch and prick his fingers-"you
look as if all the sings and arrows of
outrageous fortune had made you their
target for month";
Matteri" growled Dodanim Dothan,
hinging himself into a chair, and glow
ering angrily at the world through the
window" there's enough the matter;
should say!''
Sidney sucked his punctured finger,
and waited till the spirit of confidence
should move Dodanim to unbosom.
"Sid," he said at length, I'm in a
messi You know what told you about
Phidyle Bates"
"You said you had made her an offer
of marriage, and that she had promised
a speedy answer"
"Yes, and she kept her word, too,
confound her punctuality!"
THAT is to say, declined with
thanks"
"No-accepted with the eagerness of
despairing maiden clutching at the
last matrimonial straw to keep from
sinking in the Slough of Despondr'
swell, what more can you wish?"
ITO get out of it," said Dodanim.
"You see, Phid Bates, as happened to
discover, was down in her rich aunt Hes
keth's will for the old lady's entire for
tune; and the latter, being turned of
ninety, the man lucky enough to become
Phid's husband might fairly hope to real
ize his golden dreams without vexatious
delay. 1made a bold push to be that hap
py man. Ipressed my suit, proposed,
and, as already stated, was accepted. For
twenty-four hours | was the happiest oi
men, But, alasi how soon was the
blissful chalice dashed from my lips
A note from Phidyle announced that
her aunt, on being informed of her en-.
gagement, in fit of rage called in hel
lawyer and made another will, leaving
everything to the-I forgot what she
called it-Society.
81 hoped the letter would wind uI
with an offer to release me in view o.
these altered circumstances. But MOI
bit of it! I'm real glad it's hap
pened so, dear Doddy,' she added in 6
postscript; for now everybody viii
know, as I did always, that you sought
me for myself alone
Now, Sid, that's the scrape 1 wan
| you to help me out Of If I was only
free from Phid, l could work my way
back into Carrie Sewell'S good grace;
when she gets back fromr1he visit she'i
gone upon. She's got a few thousand
of her own, and is as pretty as a pink
l only dropped her because thought
saw better chance"
/ Sidney Stitt having finished his sar
torial labors, and put away his needl,
and thread, sat for few moment
wrinkling his majestic brow in thought
There's one plan that might work,
he said at length.
''Out with itI'' cried bod, jumping VI
and grasping his hand. 1 knew yoi
could help me if anybody could"
''Phid Bates is high-strung piece,
continued Sid. IF you could only lea
her to suspect that all along your hear
has really been another's, / believ
she'd send you packing without a mo
ment's ceremony"
'tBut how to manage such
scheme?'
"Ohl that's simple enough. Writ
a strong love-letter to some other won
ana fictitious one, if you like. Direc
it; put it in your pocket unsealed, q
though you meant to add or inclos
something before mailing it; call o.
Phid; talk as lovingly as ever; and be
fore coming away, accidentally drop tn
letter and leave it. Trust to fem al
curiosity for the rest"
T." " Capitalr' shouted bod, slappin
his friends shoulders. Lets about
at onee;" and drawing a chair to tn
J table on which were pen, ink and ps
per, he sat down.
Don't you think it had better be &C
dressed to an actual person?'' he aske
Ito somebody Phid knows for il
stancep She'd be more apt to think
real. Stay-I have itl-What say yo
to Nepenthe Hooker?"
"Hai hal hap laughed Sid-''why
she celebrated her semi-centennial II
other day, and is uglier than she's ole
but no matter-she'n do as well ,
any,"
IBut isn't there danger Phid may 81
through the joke?" suggested bod.
. "No-a jealous woman never tax,
anything as a joke; besides, as Mi
Hooker owns a small annuity, Phid wi
scent a motive for your perfidy"
bod, after spelling several sheets
paper, submitted the following for b
friends approval:
Z "DEAREsr rNEPENTHE-After many attemp
and failures to suitably express the arde
| passion that has for years consumed my heal
. abandon the effort in despair. / wou
l throw myself at your feet, and pour out n
! feelings in a torrent of earnest, burniI
words, but for the dread that your answ
might doom me TO hopeless miseryl Perm
me, then, through the imperfect medium
!. the pen, in plain and simple terms, to decla
my undying love for you. and you alone
| whatever idle tongues may have chosen TO 7
Z port Dearestl now offer you my heart al
hand Do not break the one by declining q
other. would go to seek your answer fro
your lovely lips, but lack the courage. Plea
reply by early post. And now, darling, haviI
committed to paper this faint expression
feelings long pent up, shall seal and dispatI
IL as soon as have gained sufficient nerve.
"Your devoted DoDANIM DoTHAN.''
Bravo! Dod," applauded Sid. "Yc
q ought to get up q new and revised ed
d ton of The Approved Letter-write
and Love-maker's Assistant for Il
u use of enamored swains of defective Ii
erary training"
''By George, though" said bod, q
. the story ever gets out, Pll be the laug
: OF the towni''1
q Have no fear of its getting on
q Phd'n never let it be known that 81
rao1 q 1at&or a1IroasaI -