Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-06-29
FRAMED FOR FUN.

"By carrying larger heart in it,
was the reply.
| Under the new tariff Chinese gods
are 20 come in free This is another
OF Connecticut's infant industries
nipped in the bud.
| The Hindoos believe it was Adam
who sinned and led Eve astray.
There is no doubt abo,.. the Hin
docs being heathen.
The Hindoos have 100000 gods
and think the missionaries must be
blooming fresh to expect them to
give up that number for one.
| Dean Swift's unique charity ser.
mon: ''He who giveth to the poor
lendeth to the Lord If you like the
security cone down with the dust"
A little girl hearing her mother oh
serve to another lady that she was
going into halfmourning. inquired
whether any of her relations were
hall dead.
A certain merchant, in want of a
boy, lately displayed the following
suggestive notice: Boy wanted, that
has fully rested himself. and not too
intellectual"
A suggestion: If the originals can
not be induced to pose for the pur
pose how would it do to shoot the
Indians and hereafter model cigar
signs from dudes?
A Louisville court has decided that
If n woman striles a man he must
run away. If the woman strikes
him for SIS or upwards there will be
no need of court decision.
"Will you tell me-" asked an old
gentleman Of lady, What Mrs.
IS maiden name was?" why,
her maiden aim was to get married,
OF course" exclaimed the lady.
During tho winter we feel that we
can hold our own pretty we'll as an
average liar; but, now that the circus
bill is beginning to adorn the wall,
we feel our utter insignificance.
a woman cut her dress from a pat
tern in magazine dated 1873 be.
fore she discovered that it wasn't
1888, and it took three doctors to tide
her over that long, lonely night.
I'VE all come in, but we can't stay"
observed the parson, turning over a
fresh sheet; what can we do?"
MAKE it jackpot roared the new
Bible class teacher from the back
seat.
We frequently see articles headed
The last words of great men"
They must have been the greatest
kind of great men if they had the
last word while there were any WON
en- around
Did you ever think what you
would do if you Lad Vanderbilt's in.
Gomez Philadelphia News. Well.
no; but we have often wondered
what Vanderbilt would do If he had
our income.
Don't insist When a lady who
has been taking music lessons for the
last eight years hangs back and
bushes and says she really can't
play, don't insist on it. The chances
are that she can't.
A simile: mo can't write in cold
blood" remarked Henderson: Il have
to be thoroughly warmed up to do
good work" The same is true of
the goosethe tailor uses," murmured
Fogg in stage whisper.
They have a nice old lady in South
Boston of the genuine Partingtonian
variety. She recently alluded to the
illness of friend with You see he
had digestion Of the lungs, and then
it settled into ammonia"
The eagle feels best at height of
1900 feet above the earth, while the
minute you get man on the roof of
horse block his knees begin to
weaken and he, can't remember a
word beyond "Fellow Citizens"
A New York man wes enraptured
with lady at a fancy ball that he
offered her 500 to unmask. She ac-
cepted the money, saying: Now
your wife can pay the servant girls
back wages" 1t was his mother-in-
law.
A country sculptor was ordered to
engrave on tombstone the follow
ing words: "A virtuous woman is
crown to her husband The stone,
however, being small, he engraved on
it: "A virtuous woman is 5s. to her
husband"
When a California man sees "no
cards" at the end of marriage no
tice OF friend he remarks that "that
girl has put some of her pious no
tions into Jim's head, but he'll get
over them after he's been married
awhile"
Then and now. First disengaged
young lady-"Now, auntie, you must
admit that the wall decorations of
the present are far superior to those
Of the past" Mrs Oldbelle-" as to
that | cannot say girls-I never was
a wall flower"
A Cincinnati man, caught in the
betting and whirled around at the
rate of mile in about two minutes,
was rescued uninjured. When asked
if he wasn't dreadfully frightened,
No, | thought my wife had caught
me and WAS running me out by the
back of the neck"
Two young city ladies in the
country were standing by the side of
wide ditch, which they didn't know
how to cross. They appealed to a
boy who was coming along the road
for help, whereupon he pointed be-
hind them with startled air and
yelled Snakes The young ladies
crossed the ditch at single bound.
Remember that raw egg will
clear your throat of fish bones. Put
one in little hot wine, add some
sugar, and the fish-bones will slip
down all the easier. p. S.-You can
take the egg, wine and sugar any
how They're good as preventive.
and You don't know what moment
you may get tish-bone in your
throat.
The other day on an ArkansaW