Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-03-28
Peck,s Bad BOy.-His Pa Jokes Him.

Peck's Bad Boy.-His Pa Jokes Him.
"What on earth is that you have
got Oh your upper lip" said the gro
ceryman to the bad boy, as he came
in and began to peel a rutabage, and
his upper lip hung down over his teeth,
and was covered with something thai
looked like shoemaker's wax. "You
look as though you had been digging
potatoes with your nose"
40, that's some of Pas darn smart
ness. / asked him if he knew any
thing that would make boys mus
tache grow, and he told me the best
thing he ever tried was tar, and for
me to rub it on thick when | went to
bed and rub it off in the morning. /
put it on last night, and by gosh |
can't wash it of. Pa told me all |
had to do was to use securing brick,
and it would come off, and | used the
brick and it took the skin of, and the
tar is there yet, and say, does my lip
look very bad ?"
The groceryman told him it was the
worst looking lip he ever saw, but he
could cure it by rubbing a little
cayenne pepper in the tar. He said
the tar would neutralize the pepper
and the pepper would loosen the tar,
and act as a cooling lotion to the LAGER
ated lip. The boy went to can of
pepper behind the counter and stuck
his finger in and rubbed a lot on his
lip, and then his hair began to raise
and he began to cry, and rushed to the
WATERFALL and ran his face into the
water to wash the pepper off, The
groceryman laughed, and when the
boy had got the pepper wash off, and
resumed his rutabaga he said:
"That seals your fate. No man
ever trifes with the feelings of this
bold buccaneer of the Spanish main,
without living to rue it. l will lay
for you old man, and don't you forget
it. Pa thought he was smart when
he got me to put tar on my lip to
bring my mustache out, and to-day
he lays ON bed of pain, and to-mor-
row your turn will come. You will
regret that you did not get down on
your knees and beg my pardon. You
will be sorrow you did not prescribe
cold cream for my bruised lip, instead
of cayenne pepper. Beware you
twelve ounce to the pound huckster
you gimlet eyed seller of dog SAUCES,
you sanded sugar idiot, you small pc.
tato three card monte slight of hand
rotten egg fend, you villain that sells
smoked sturgeon and dog-fsh fol
smoked halibut. The avenger is on
your track |"
Look here young man, don't you
threaten me, or / will take you by tn,
ear and walked you through greer
fields, and beside still waters to tn,
front door and kick your pistol pocket
clear around so you can wear it for a
watch pocket in your vest. No boy
can brighten me, by crimus. But tel
me, how did you get even with you
pa?"
"Well, give me glass Of cider ant
we will be friends, and | will tell you
Thanks! Gosh, but that cider is mad
of mouldy dried apples and sewe
water" and he took handful of laye
raisins off the top Of the box to TAX
the taste out of his mouth, and Will
the groceryman charged the boys p
with peck of rutabagas, a gallon o.
cider and two pounds of raisins, TIN
boy proceeded: "You see pa likes
joke the best of any man you eve
saw, if it is on somebody else, but h
kicks like steer if it is on him.
asked him this morning if it wouldn'
be a good joke to put some soft soa
on the front step so the letter carrie
would slip up and spill himself, an,
pa said it would be elegant. Pa
a Democrat, and he thinks that any
thing that will make it unpleasant 70
Republican ofIice-holders is Legitimate
and he encouraged me to paralyze tn
letter carrier. The letter carrier
as old man as pa, and / didn't wan
to humiliate him, but | just wante
pa to give his consent so he could nc
kick if he got caught IN his own traJ
You see? Well, this morning the mir
lister and two deacons called on pa
have talk with him about his action
in church on two or three occasions
whom he nullad ont tho nack of IN ri