The Northern Pacific farmer., 1883-10-18
Laugh While YOU Can.

II pCiAllCdl 4uCIucAu III L d1Ao' 1"C
Americans are standing in front of a caie
on the Boulevard des Italiens, Paris.
A member of the Chamber of Deputies
rushes by, with every appearance Of a
man who is terribly frightened. First
| Amercan-Whato on earth do you sup.
| pose is the matter with that fellow?
Second American-Can't imagine, un-
less he fancied he saw Prince Napoleon
coming around the corner.-Brooklyn
Eagle.
Alabama boasts a watermelon with a
complete map of the world on it's sur.
face. The cholera districts are strongly
outlined.-Burlington Free Press.
An item from Boston: "Whoshe 'lec-
ted Senator, Jim?" said one of two beery
individuals as they came to the left face
with lurch in front of the Journal
! bulletin last Wednesday. "Don't know
which feller's 'lected," said the inter
! rogated, blinking at the bulletin board
'but neschesflary f. choice got the most
| votes Boston Com mercial Bulletin.
Credits flies away on the owe-pinions
of prodigals.-New York News.
Making it lay: Eyes," said Brown,
'Goldbrick is smart fell, a remar-
kaby.smart fellow. l never saw such a
man. No matter what he goes into he
makes it pay" ''Thcn I wish he'd go
into himself little while," remarked
the butcher who had supplied Goldbrick
with provisions without being able to
see the color of Goldbrick's money; ~
wish he'd 60 into himself and see if he
could make that pay" Boston Tran
script.
In troublesome fix: II got Jack
in-the-box on Christmas; what did you
get, Franzel?" Nothing" "Why
not?" because papa is an anti-semite.
"What do you mean?" "Well, papa
said he would not buy anything of a
Jew and the Christians wo MT give him
credit" ."-Frankfurt Zeitung.
A dog on warm summer day lay
down IN the shade and soon fell asleep.
He was awakened by the noise ola huge
bull approaching his shady resting place.
"Get up," said the bull, "and let me
lie down there" 'No," replied the
dog. "you have no right to the place;
was here first" "Well," said the bull,
looking innocently at the dog, but with
a ferocious twinkle in his left eye. which
made the dogs spinal column run cold
and MS lower jaw give way. Lets
throw up for it." Thank you," said the
dog politely. II never gamble" and he
walked away. Moral-Virtue has its
own reward.-Life.
"How shall we stop the great evil OF
lying?" asks religious weekly. It can't
be stopped; but the evil might be less
ened materially by abandoning the Gus
tom of putting inscriptions on tomb
stones.-Norristown Herald.
"Gentlemen." said the Texas man in
the restauranr when the waiter dumped
a plate of hot soup down his back, 'gen-
tlemen, don't laugh" AS he had risen
to his feet and drawn two revolv rs, his
wishes were respected.-Boston Post.
"Is there anything wrong. IN kissing?"
he asked her, as they stood together at
the gate. "Certainly there u.s." she re-
piled, cor there wouldn't be any fun in
it."-Rochester Post-Express.
We are suffering from severe drouth
but New York has Oscar Wilde again.
We have sympathy to spare for New
York. She needs it more than we do
San Antonio Express.
"Hello, Jack, old fellow, how are
you2 Haven't seen you for three years.
Take cigar. Ihear you're just whoop-
in thing in business" eyes, I'm get.
ting along first rate" "Getting rich and
living oD the interest Of your money,
hey?" "Yes-and no. Pm making the
money and my mother-ip-law, she lives
on the interest," t."'-Chicago News,
A thunder storm is high toned af-
fair-Oil City Derrick.
"What!' exclaimed, bootblack,
"never heard of Jesse James, the man
who found America floating around
recklessly, waiting for some one to look
after her? What? Never heard of Jesse
James, the great American pie bitter?
Well, that's him. He was shining the
8 hoes of q stranger, who had inquired
about tie Clay statue. e."-Louisville Cour-
ier Journal.
A young woman in an Ohio town mar
ried her brothers wife's father. When
last seen she was busy with compass
and dictionary trying to study out
what relation she is to herselt.--Peck's
Sun. ..%
Admitted to bale-The sailor ordered
into leakv boat:-New York News.