The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-12-27
THE "GREAT UNRUFFLED."
The Unhappy Lot of the Average Hotel
Clerk.


Clerk.
IF this is not u hard hotel / give it
up, said stranger with an easy, world
ly air as he leaned upon the marble
counter of leading hotel.
What's that, sir?" asked the oblig-
ing clerk, with an air of interest.
just remarked" said the stranger,
lndiiierently, as he bit off and lighted
his cigar, that you kept tough cara
vansary."
"Ah," said the clerk, in the most Sc
rene and atfable manner, what can we
ito TO increase the sum of your happi-
ness?"
Nothing Mt all at present, was the
response.
Then why do You complain ?" said
the clerk, with the mir of man whom
nothing could annoy.
Il registered here while ago" said
the newcomer, and was shown to II
room by the porter. | had my own
KEY, and still, when | entered | found
man there dressing"
well, what has that got to Go with
the hotel?" asked the clerk.
"Oh, nothing in particular, except
that it proves what | said about it. It's
i hard place that don't give one man
time to get out before another is sent TO
take his place"
well, now, me boy" said the clerk
confdingly to his new acquaintance, 1T
takes a great head to run big hotel
and prevent friction. You may think
YOU can stop it, but YOU can't. It's no
use trying, and the only way to do is to
let things take their own course. while
you do the best YOU can. Do YOU see
that said he, touching the guest on
the shoulder IS If to pin the fact there
with the point of his finger.
Il like to hear man talk, but | guess
I'll pay my bill if j owe you anything,
and take IA walk" said the guest in an
otf-hand, don't-care sort of way.
What Leave this house? Ny dear
John-your nan is John, isn't it? ]
think your brother told me so-you
must be mad. You can't find any such
accommodations anywhere in the United
States. Is that n good cigar? No?
Well, have another; and Just wait n
minute. IL have the porter show YOU
up to lOS-the best room in the house.
northern exposure, opens right out ON
the alley, and is as bright and airy us IL
hayloft."
"l'll take look at it, was the non
cOmmittal response, and the clerk
turned to give attention to man who
wanted TO know whether Mr.. Jones and
wife had registered there "a week ago
Saturday night last, while Il bell-boy
stood with "a card in his hand repeating
the words Not in and another per
son begged TO know whether anything
had been heard from tie occupant of
No. 45S.
But the clerk was equal 20 the situa-
ton. Shaking his head to the man who
asked for the Joncses, he SAID ~ OF in, F"
TO the other, and dismissed the boy
with wave of the hand, the latter
movement being prolonged into friend
~ shake" with a newcomer.
1T, rather dull to-day" he was about
to say to the last arrival, when down
came a great, hutfy individual, in n
fever of excitement, bearing heavy
vaiise which he refused TO permit any
of the porters to touch, as ii it were
liable to suffer from contact with the
"luggageman's' fist. DO / owe this
house anything?" he asked. as the key
ratified on the marble.
Not yet, sir, said the obliging
clerk.
We'll, never will, was the nervous
retort.
Why, sir?"
Because l am going to leave YOU,
and ] don't propose to return. That's
why, and that's all I've got TO say, " said
the man with the volise.
We'll, good-by, SIR" said the clerk
extending his hand. But the fat man
seized the travelling bag, which had
rested temporarily on the floor, and
hurried toward the door.
Judge, Judge-why, wait minute,
the clerk appealed. But the person so
addressed pulled lis SLOUGH hat close
over his eyes, Rugged his valise tightly
under his arm, and hurried away as if
he were afraid he would be persuaded
to stay if he should confess the cause
of his singular conduct.
# guess he's mad, was the comment
of the aflable man behind the counter
when he saw the porter gaping after
him. Did you do anything"
mo, sir said the porter
Then what allied him." asked the
clerk, a. he shook the hand of the new
est and latest arrival.
The bed was not made up" said the
porter.
How do You do, Mr.. Roberts ~
placidly said the great unruifled."
"How do you do, sir" said the pos
SCISSOR OF the last name on the register.
Really, you have the greatest hotel on
earth.
"Now, there, you are right, was the
response. "Show the gentleman to los.
Chicago Tribune.
Wanted n Chance.