The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-08-04
THE BAD BOY.
Peck's sun.l

Come In.a said the grocery n.an ;G :s.e bad boy, IS the youth stood or the steps , in m uncertain sort of away, as though he did not know whether he would be welcome or not. ''! tell you boy, pity you. understand your pa has go, 10 drinking again. IL is too bad. can't think of anything !ha, humilia,es a boy. and makes him so ashamed, as to have a father that is in the habit of hosting in too much benz.ne. A boy feels as though everybody was down on him, and don, wonder that such buys often turn out bad. What started pour pa 10 drinking again."
 70, ma thinks it was losing money on the Chicago races. You see, pa is great on pointers. He don't usually bel unless he has got sure thing, bu, when he gets what they call pointer, that is, some body tells him a certain horse is sure to win, because the other horses are 10 be pulled back, he thinks a job has been put up, and if he thinks he is inside the ring he will bet. He says it does no, do any hurt to bet, If you win, and he argues that a man who wins lots of money can ] do great deal of good with it. But he i had 10 walk home from the Chicago races all the same, and he has been steaming eyer since. Pa can't stand diversity. Bu; guess we have got him all right nov. He is the soartest man you ever saw and the boy took a ean-opener and began 10 cat the zinc under the stove. Just to see If it would work IS well on zinc IS on tin.
 What, you haven't been dissecting him again, have you:' sad the grocery man, IS he pulled a stool up beside the boy to hear the news. How did you bring him to his senses
 "Well, ma tried having the minister talk to pa, but pa talked bible, ahou, taking little wine for the stomaeh's sake, and gave illustrations about Noah getting full, so the minister couidn'; brace him up, and then ma had some of the sisters come and talk to him, but he broke them all up by talking abou, wha, an appetite they had for champagne punch when they were out in camp las, summer, and they couldn't have any effect on him, and so ma said she guessed l would have ,o exercise my ingenuity on pa again. Ma has an idea that have go, some sense yet, so l told her that if she would do just as said, me and my ohnm would scare pa so he would swear off She said she would, and we wen, to work. First took pas speotaoles down to an opiieian, Saturday night, and had the glasses taken out and a pair put in their places that would magnify, and l | to5s them home ard pu, them in pas spectacle case. Then got sait of clothes from chun.s uncle's trunk. abou, h al( s6a Df -1A el uncle Is ! very small man, and pa is cor pulent. gut plug hat three sizes smaller than pas hat, and took the name out of p-'s hat and put il in the small hat, got shirt about half big enough for pa, and put his initials on the thing un- der the bosom, and got number four teen collar. Ia wears seventeen. fAhad promised to brace up and go to church Sunday morning, and ma pat these small clothes where pa could pu, them on. told ma, when pa woke up, to tell him he looked awfully bloated, and excite his curiosity. and then send for me-
 You didn't play such trick as ,ha; on poor old man, did you:' said the grocery man, IS smile came over lis face.
 You bet Desperate diseases require desperate remedies. Well, ma ,ola pa he looked awfully bloated, and that his dissipation was killing him, as well IS all the rest ofthe family. Ia said he guessed he wasn't bloated very much, but he 20: up and put on his spec,acles and looked a, himself in a glass. You'd a dide to see him look at himself. His face looked as big IS two faces, through the glasses. and his nose was a sight. Ia looked scared, and then he held up his hand and looked !, that. His hand looked like a ham. usi then came in, and turned pale, with some chalk on my face, and began 10 cry, and said, .Oh, pa, wha, ails you! You are so swelled up hardly knew you Ia looked sick to his stomach, and then he tried to get on h's pants o, my, it was all could do to keep from laughing to see him pull them pants or He could jus, get his legs in, and when got shoe horn and gave it to him he was mad. He said 1t was mean boy that would give his pa shoe horn to put on pants with. The pants wouldn't come around pa in ten inches, and pa said he must have eat something that disagreed with him, and he laid it 10 watermelon Ma stuffed her handkere hiefia her mouth to keep from lafhng, when she sec pa look at hisselt The legs of the pants were so tight pa couldn', ardly breathe, and he turned pale, and said, Hennery, your pa Is a mighty sick man. and then ma and me both laughed, and he said we wanted him to die SO we could spend his life insurance in riotous living. Bu, when pa put on that condensed shirt. ma she laid down on the lounge and fairly yelled, and laughed nll my sides ached. Ia got it over his head, and got his hands in the sleeves, and couldn't get it either way and he couldn't zee us laugh, but he could hear us, and he said, It's damed fanny, aint 1t, to have parent swelled up this way. If bust you will both be sosry.' We'll, ma took hold of one side of the shirs, and took hold cf the other, and we pulled it on, and when pas head came up through the collar, his face was fairly blue. Ma told him she was afraid