Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-05-11

law prohibiting whlstllng in graveyards.
This Is rough on the wind.
New Jersey man, when he is tempted
to take drink, always gets up ard runs like
mad for the nearest saloon. He SAYS he Is
exercising the devil In him
A man is known by the company he keeps.
And If it is his wlfe's relatives, he sometimes
Keeps EN- so long that they get quito familiar
with him.
Size amt everything. A watch ticking
can be heard further than bed tickling
San Francisco Post Don't know about
that. When aman comes In to bed late, and
turns down both sheets, AMI catches his foot
10 the barsed thing. you can hear it good
ways
lhackeray says that women are to lie
Praised after certain fashion. They are
certainly seldom after anything else.
Why is small boy called shaver: Be
cause, wheu he isn't cutting up, he is whit.
Ting.
"Do You know what the indians called Il.
quor?' asked a fond temperance mother Of
her six-year-old hopeful, "No, ma-what
did they? ~ They called it fre.uater.'
'Oh yes. heard pa tellh' Mr.. Smith that
the boys always had sumfn to drink at the
fires. Is that why pa goes -
Dead sea fruit-stranded whales.
VIVA. beautiful analogies run through all
| hn t,F Col.
corn can pop without being over the Goals
The Vassar juniors tried to make a pic the
other day, out Of an oil Latin rccipe-or
what they supposed was such-found in one
to be class-sick attempt.
"Kecp of the grass, read Blobson, as he
stopped and struck an attitude before the
board bearing that time .honored inscription.
| swell, | don't gee but what it's been kept
| OIL pretty etlectualy already. ! don't know
as can do anything more for the cause than
tread II down littlc.' So saying, he stalk
cd maiestlcaIly across the scaGty sward,
The world is progressing Lawyers, even,
can now go fishing and say they caught moth
ing.-Nec OriedHs Picdyune.
New York star asks in an editorial: "ls
it a crime to be a woman Not exactly
but it is rather hard luck HUiitmsp9rt
Bre0iJ,t TATE.
Since barbed wire fencing came into gen.
eral use there is notable deere a.c in the
nsm5er of bicyclsts on country roaCs.-
PhHi. Ne,rs.
When playing chess, knight was missing
and lump Of sugar was used instead
"Dulcissima noctis image exclaimed one Of
the players which being translated means,
Sweetest image of the night. '-Detr0H
Free Press.
"Mr. lslacs, can you tole me we're vas the
first diImoni;' NO, Mr.. IawcObs we're
vas it, "NY, Noah's son on der ark he
vas "A Shem of der fust vatcr.-Bo,toH Com-
mercioi BullettH
The hope Of the rich man is to possess one
hundred millions and then retire from bust
ness and be honest.-Ne,c OrLeqnS Picdyune.
+ First boY-''Say, do you know why those
factory chimneys are 50 high:' Second boy
Yes to Keep out the water IN case Of Il
iood''-Fl6geade B!dttcr.
A bibulous tramp who came into tine Of
flee to day said he always liked printers /;
they were always ready 10 set 'em up. As
his remarks appeared to be a reflection upon
the spotless reputation of the craft, the tran
sient gentleman was carefully but exped!-
tiously kicked down stars.-Bostoa Irdn-
, script.
\ gentleman who had lost his wife, whose
maiden name was Little addressed the fol-
lowing to a Miss Moore, lady OF diminutivc
stature
I've lost the Lit e once had
My heart Is sad amt sore
50 now | should be very glad
To have little Moore.
To which the lady sent the following an
swer
piiy much the loss you've hal
The grief ypu most endure;
hear by Little made SO sad
: \ little Moore won cure.