davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-02-23
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Enquirer: No. we don't believe i'm
taking the bull by the horns. We tried
taking a goat by the horns once, and
That was excitement enough for u.s.
Boston Post.
One Of the quizzical weeklies notes
chat Christine Nilsson wears sad and
troubled expression, with two rows of
pearl buttons down the center and
shirred around the bottom edge.-N y.
NctOS.
A fashionable lady. in Boosting OF
Ser new ''palatial residence said the
windows were all of stained glass.
That's too badr' cried her mother;
''but won't soap and turpentine take the
. stains outP'
MIR. Nor, reading Virgil:
THREE times / stroye TO cast my arms
shout her neck, and'-''that's as far a.
Z got. Professor" well. Mr.. Nor,
think that was quite far enough
Wooster CoiicGian.
They say Judge Hilton. in his efforts
so keep up the house of Stewart. lost six
millions OF dollars. We do wish we
knew where he lost il. We'd borrow u
lantern and wouldn't 60 to bed n minute
for the next six weeks Huntington
Hank Eye.
when asked why he named his sou John
Henry. answered that il was to show his
seX aud prevent any one calling him
Nancy. There are fathers i'm this country
who should have thought of that .-Dc.
troll Free Press.
What Is the difference betwane the
youths and the min departments ut the
big clothing shOp?' asked an Irishman
Of n friend, and, receiving no reply. he
continued, because ut the wan l buys
we clothes and ut the other / clothes me
b'ys." HarUdrd LdDipooH.
"A story Is told of woman in the
rural districts who wanted To keep up
appearances. who was often thwarted in
this by her innocent and matter-of-fact
daughter. One day, when visitor was
present nc the table. the hostess said to
her daughter: "Where are all our
knivesP" Here they are. both of them"
was the astounding reply. Chicago
NeicS.
DR.. Hall says It is very unhealthy
Co live on the ground floor of n house.
Doctors right. A fellow's creditors can
climb in on him with so little trouble.
And then lac loses all the JOYOUS recrea-
ton of peeping out of an upper window
co watch wrathfnl collector stand on
the stoop and pull the bell handle half
way across the street, repeating the ac-
ton until the bell falls down or the
handle pulls of. burlington Hack
Rye.
Mrs. Bczumbee's call: Mrs. Be
zumbee, n tall. elderly lady. who
always dresses in deep black and
Is very much given To making
calls, will from now on make no
more friendly visits to the mansion of
Colonel Barney Dayton. She was sitting
on the gallery surrounded BY the family
when large turkey buzzard alighted on
a tree near the house. "What a large
buzzard" remarked Mrs. Bezumbee
els that n buzzard?" asked little Emily.
very much amazed. Yes, my child.
that's buzzard" "But il don't look
much like you" ''Of course it don't
look like me. Who says buzzard looks
like me?' asked Mrs. Bezumbee. indig.
nantly. "Why. ma does. Every day
when she sees you coming she says:
There comes that old buzzard again -
Chicago Tribune.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-02-23
A Singular Attempt at Suicide.

An east bound express train on the
Ohio & Mississippi Railroad recently
carried passenger who was so evidently
suffering from delirium tremens that it
was great relief to the conductor and
every one else when atlast, after various
antics, he betook himself to his upper
berth and disappeared behind the cur
tains. But suddenly a violent jerk on
the bell rope brought the train to full
stop, and in a moment the explanation
was found. The drunkard had wound
the rope around his neck and jumped
from his berth with the intention Of
hanging himself, but there was too much
slack, and he was discovered sitting half
naked in the aisle. screaming like a ma
MAC. He was taken to Cincinnati and
sent to hotel.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-02-23
A Canadian Border Town.

Whoop Up Is town in Canada on the
border of civilization. 1t was originally
what is called in the Northwest a
whisky stockade," but has lately
grown into something of village. The
stOckade was built by men who had a
practical knowledge of Indian fighting
and trading. 1t enclosed three acres,
and the buildings were of heavy logs,
with openings only on the inner square.
The business consisted of buying skins
from the Indians and paying for them as
much as possible in whisky. The In
dians would fill themselves full of the
reduced high wines or adnlterated whisky
of the traders, and when they were
fighting drunk, would be enticed outside
OF the wall. Then the gates were shut
and the savageS were left to fight out
their fury among themselves. Next day
the thrifty traders went out to bury the
dead, succor the wounded and drive
away the rest. Il never get drunk
myself when / trade whisky with the
Injuns," says David Akers, the present
owner who considers himself a reformer
of the old methods. $50 of course 1
can watch its effects on them, an as
soon as L see one gettin' leetle too
much, L put more water in his Ticker.
I give it to the critters weak enough to
begin with, but the second cup is alters
weaker'n the fust But never kick 'em
out or refuse to give 'ema drink as long
as they have anything to trade. Inever
kick 'em out anyhow, and seldom re-
fuse 'em drink. Ye see, after they get
so fur l just give 'em good, pure water
out o. the river, but never refuse 'em.
They like me. too, coz they don't have a
headache next morning. l jist keep 'em
feeling good and rich, and jolly, but they
never get drunk enough to hurt one
another, or cut, or shoot, on my whisky.
No, stree. not as long as there's good
water in the river" ~. y sam.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-02-23
Amusing Tricks.

The following may serve to while away
some long winter evenings: Can you
place newspaper on the floor in such a
way that two persons can stand upon it
and not be able to touch one another
with their hands? Answer-Yes; by
putting the paper in doorway, one-half
inside and the other half outside of the
room. and closing the door over it, two
persons can easily stand upon it and still
be. beyond each others reach. Can you
put one of your hands where the other
cannot touch it? Easily; by putting one
hand on the elbow of the other arm.
Can you place pencil on the floor in
such a way that no one can jump overit?
Yes. If / place it close enough to the
wall of the room. Can YOU push a chair
through finger ring? Yes; by putting
a ring on the finger and pushing the
chair with the finger. You can put your
self through keyhole by taking piece
of paper with the words yourself
written upon it and pushing it through
the hole. You can ask question that
no one can answer with n ''no." by say
ing what does YES spell? You can go
out of the room with two legs and return
with six, by bringing along a chair with
you-PTdirie Farmer.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-02-23
A Fatal Choice.

With the drifting clouds of smoke and
steam that rise from the ruins of the IL
fated Newhall House at Milwaukee, there
comes also sadly romantic story, in
which gentleman of this city is one of
the actors. Only few months ago Mr..
Porteous, of this city. went to Canada TO
marry Miss Sutton, to whom he had
been engaged for some time. He re-
manned there some time. His friends
waited, with no little wonder at the de-
lay, to hear that the ceremony had been
performed. No word came, however
and to the surprise of all, when at last
the groom-elect did return, he brought
with him the sister of the lady to whom
he had been engaged, and for whose hand
he hail gone to the Dominion.
1t seems that when Mr.. Porteous
reached the home of his fiance another
had come between them. She had met
and learned to love an actor, and prom
ised to become his wife. This Mr.. Por-
teous learned when she had refused him
her hand and given him his liberty. He
then, found out that his affection had
transferred itself to Miss Sutton's sister,
and forthwith wooed and won her, re-
turning home in triumph with bride.
The young lady to whom Mr.. Porteous
first intrusted his heart. no longer fet-
tered with a betrothal, then gave her
heart to Mr.. John Gilbert, of the Minnie
Palmer Company, and with him went on
the boards. This fact was not known to
the wife of Mr.. Porteous, however. and
for several weeks she has been expecting
visit from her sister. When two days
fbo - III IL, "a
Milwaukee was flashed over the wires,
Mrs. Porteous was struck by the name OF
Mrs. John Gilbert among the victims.
and an investigation proved the sad facts
too true. Her only sister, the bride Of
one night, was burned in that fearful
death-trap. Louisville Courier-Jour1adt.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-02-23

The suggestion that on account of
intellectual and physical fitness" wom-
en- should be employed as pharmacists
is not favored by medical journals. One
of them states that as women will talk
while doing business they are untitled
for pharmacy or other work requiring
concentration of thought and mental
isolation. But itshould be borne in mind
that woman are filing with credit to
themselves positions for which, ten years
ago, they were presumed to be wholly
untitled. What woman, after all. ever
talked more than the average barher?-
n. y. Sun.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-02-23

"A granite and bronze mausoleum is
to be placed in Forest Lawn Cemetery,
Buffalo, to the memory of the late Gen.
eral A. j. Myer, cold Probabilities. )"
as he was calied.) In general outline
the mausoleum will be square. merging
above into circular form and surmounted
by globe. The base of the mausoleum
will be twenty feet square and the dis
lance from the base to the top of the
globe thirty-nine feet. The transom
panel over the door will be of bronze, a
double medallion of General Myer and
the late Judge Walden, the latter the
father of Mrs. Myer. by whom the monu-
ment is to be erected.-Bufalo IN ~
ErprcSS.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-02-23

Welsh parents will make great sacri-
fees in the way Of giving their sons a pre-
iminary education.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-02-23

An Express train on the Lake Shore
Railroad struck snow-drift as it was
passing West Hamburg station, near
Buffalo, N. Y. the other day. and threw
the snow aside with such force as to
dash in window in the station-house,
sash and all.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-02-23

In the western part of Pennsylvania
the number of Congregational Churches
has do ubled during the last seven years.
The National tribune., 1883-10-11
Thank them Again.
by Miss Jessie sayder.l


Tread at the Reunion of the One Hundred and
Twentieth regiment, at High Falls, New York;
Thank them again, the brave boys in blue
The tried and proved honest the faithful and true
They have rallied to help and to save us again,
Thank them! On, thank those brave loyal menI
To the polls they are limping with crutch or with
Marked deep on their brows are the burrows of
They've suffered "No matter, they'll suffer again, y
Oh, citizens thank them-those brave loyal meni
Here a right hand is missing or hanging unnerved
Had he minded the bullet it still might have
served;
But it went for his country; "The left shall go,
For the ballot; I'm manned, but my heart is yet
true"
Thank them again; new battle is won.
The spots are wiped of from our great central sun.
We now stand erect mid the nations of men,
And the folds in flag float for freedom again.
We thanked them when blood and when graves
marked the hours
When tears like the bullets, were falling in show
But we miss the dark mingling of sorrow tonight,
For the battle was bloodless the triumph of right.
Let us not waste in air all the thanks we would
give,
By good deed let us show that our thanking is
meant;
By doing, now prove our true grateful intent.
Set them up in the watch-towers we raise In the
land;
Give them places of trust where they're worthy to
stand;
Think not that the least and the lowest will do,
For one returned soldier, one manned boy in blue.
Don't say, now he's wounded he's worthless to
YOU;
His one hand, o, merchant! is worth more than
two;
Tho one that ia pone brouoht Won BLESSINGS unfold
Saved your home and kept open your channels oi
gold
Let us thank them again when we pass thro' the
street,
Prefer them when questions of interest shall meet
For us they have wasted their comforts and health
And blasted forever their prospect OF wealth.
Then we'T thank them again. who our battles have
fought,
Nor forget the high service their sufferings have
wrought
Wen commend them to One who In justice is true
And thank by our aeeds the brave boys IN blue.
The National tribune., 1883-10-11
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS.
Our Agricultural Editors Weekly Chat With His
Readers.

have had constructed small glass-house for the
culture of the Black Hsmhurgh and other foreign
grapes. i differently advised in regard 20
planting the vines n a border exclusively under
the glass, and planting them outside and then in
Producing them through openings into the house.
In other words, whether Is inside an outside
border best My house Is not to be artiteiallY
heated; it is what is known as 3 cold srapery.
Amateur, Burlington county, NJ.
4lss By all means have the border outsider
inside borders are net best for cold graperies.
A pear tree and an apple tree on my place died
last month from what appeared 20 me to be Kind
the ground became brown and hard al round aha
trunk and the tree soon died | am afraid thas
others of my pear trees my suffer in similar man
ner, and would be glad TO know u can 90 any.
thing for them prevent the further spread
of the disease.-L D., St, Tanmany. La
AHs The trees have evidently died Of blight,
and fOr this the best preventive is to wash the
trunks with whitewash go over them twice
year, and no blight viii attack the covered
part OF the stems.
The general failure which seems 20 be n yearly
occurrence of the potato crop Is caused by rot and
other diseases. owing, think 10 the potato be-
coming weak from long propagation. Would 10
not be prudent 70 procure seed from Chill Peru.
any rot-.J. C. D., NOFristOwn, Pa
AHs. We do not admit that the potato is fsil-
ing in any way; or the contrary, we think that
there never were SO many good potatoes or
larger crops IN this country than there IS now.
As to getting rOt-prOof potatoes from South
America, we know that trials of these showed
that they rotted the first season they were cul-
tivated. Rot-proOf potatoes are not known
they win all rot if subjected TO the climatic
conditions which induce the disease.
have plenty OF single hyacinths in my garden,
but have been deferred from buying any roots cf the
double kinds because / was told by one thaa
they were not hardy; friend tells me that there
no difference between single and double varieties.
What is the editors experience with theSes-Julia
H., Vermont.
Aas. We never found any difference in thelr
hardness.
The National tribune., 1883-10-11
The Grars of General E. D. BAKER.

The remains of Gen. E. D. Baker, who was
killed while leading the forlorn hope at the
battle of Balls Bluff, Va, October q, 1861, lie
inferred in the cemetery at San Francisco, Cal.
Once year Post No. S, of California, acting for
E. d. Baker Post, No. s, of Philadelphia, places
beautiful floral tribute on the grave. GEN
eral Baker was born in London, England, Feb
ruary l, 1911, and was United States Senator
from Oregon at the time of his death, although
holding the position of major general.
The National tribune., 1883-10-11
The Sons Of Veterans.
BY KATE DRowN1EE SHERWOOD.

From The Sons Of Veterans National Gazetts.l
Muster the brave boys ini
Not for the clash of arms,
Not for the fierce alarms
Not for the sword and the flannel
Ia the might of a Nations name,
Muster them in
Muster the brave boys in.
Not for the reddening strife,
Not for a life for life;
For the flight of furious steedsi
In the calm of n Nation need,
Muster them ini
Muster the brave boys inl
Not for the gay parade,
Not for the reckless raid
For the battles that rend the landl
In the love of a Nations hand,
Muster them inl
Muster the brave boys inl
Not for the shifting scourge,
Not for the awful dirge!
For the graces that peace shall shed
Over Nations head,
Muster them in
Muster the brave boys ini
Tic stay the steps that are slow,
To lift the hearts that are low;
To stand as n guard OF might
In the Nations light, or night,
Muster them inl
Muster the brave boys in
That the vows may be passed along,
That their fathers have kept and are strong;
In the hope of a happier day,
In the Nations heart for aye,
Muster them in!
The National tribune., 1883-10-11
WORDS FIFTY SPOKEN.
l01S ARCH ST., PHILADELPHIA,
To the Editor NATIONAL TRIBUNE: TS2E:--''~ = 49,

To the Editor NATIONAL TRIBUNE:
The accompanying letter has the ring of the true
soldier in it, for only the brave and true know how
10 exercise that rarest of all virtues, gratitude.
do not remember delivering the box mentioned,
for that a common incident in my life in those
days. But do remember the bright, manly drum
mer boy of the Fifteenth Iowa infantry. and appre-
cate his kindly, grateful words. May he be richly
rewarded by the Government he helped to save
When ! think of the hardships our soldiers en-
dured, and how they waded swamps and took long,
made forced marches to meet the enemy, become
impatient with the clamor about pensions and
bounties the part of men who stayed Mt home
and got rich off of the Government at the time of
her greatest peril. This Government can never
sufficiently reward the men who saved her life.
want to say that have ever found our soldiers
grateful as they were brave.
Yours for Justice ANNIE WITTENaIYER.
The National tribune., 1883-10-11
ToLEDo, OAIo, sept. %, lss3.

IF you feel dull, drowsy, debilitatee, have
sallow color of skin, or yellowish- brown spots
on face or body, frequent headache or dizzi-
ness, bad taste in mouth, internal heat or chills
alternated with hot fushes low spirits and
gloomy forehodings, irregular appetite, and
tongue coated you are suffering from torpid
livern or 'biliousness." In many cases of
oliver complaint" only part of these symptoms
are experienced As a remedy for all such
cases DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery !"
has no equal, as it effects perfect and radical
cures. At all drug stores.
The National tribune., 1883-10-11
j. ,. CHAMBER,
Company B, Fifth Vt. v. L


Comrade Van Tassel, Commander of Kitch-
ing Post No 60, Yonkers, n Y, asks the pub
lieation of the following from the pen of L. A.
McCheek, National Superintendent w. C. T..
u. Department of Soldiers and Sailors, add
ing:
would that something might be done to check
the advance Of the mighty army OF intemperance
which has slain SO many of our best and brayest
The National tribune., 1883-10-11
Our WeekIy Experience Meeting.

REJOICING OVER MRS. wITrENMYER-A wTD-
ow's THANKs-MoRE FOOLISH GIRLs-FooT-
FALLS OF LoYALTY--THE WAR AGAINST
KING ALCOHOL.
Somehow we are not a bit sorry for the mis-
take of comrade, repeated in the Woman's
department. to the effect that the celebrated
Mrs. Annie Wittenmyer had been enrolled
among the departed saints. For how else
could we have secured such rich harvest of
letters concerning some very important history
of the war, in which Mrs. Wittenmyer was the
crowning jewel? The following letter from
that noble and honored benefactor of the Union
soldier, introduces letter, one of many, writ
ten to her by grateful comrades who have
shared her beneiactions:
The National tribune., 1883-10-11

cloth or Canton flannel cut to size of pail. On
this place layer of animal charcoal, sold at
the wholesale chemists as bone-blacl1 at about
ten cents pound. Select this about the size
of gunpowder grains, and not in powder. This
layer should be three or four inches. A second
partition having been placed, add three inches
of sand as clean and as fine as possible. Those
within reach of glass-makers should purchase
the sand there, as it is only with that quality
Of sand that the best results can be obtained.
On this place another PARTITION and add more
fine stones or shingle-say for two or three
inches This serves as weight to keep the
upper partition in place Your filter is now
complete, but not ready for use. However care
full you may have been in washing the material
residue of dust viii remain, and this has to be
gradually washed through. For this purpose
pass as much water as possible through the
filter during the first day without using it. The
next day it viii be ready for use, and, if direc-
tions have been complied with filtered water
will be always at command, not only freed from
all suspended substances but from color due to
matter held in solution having been removed.
The filtering material, which is cheap enough,
and particularly the partitions, should be
renewed at intervals, the time depending on
the period of year and nature and amount of
the impurities.
The National tribune., 1883-10-11
HrS1s N COOKERY.

Now that cabbage is IN its prime try a ine-
cnt slaw with the following dressing: Yclk Of
one egg, two teaspoOafuls OF olive oil or NJ slted
butter; one-haf teaspOonful mustard, a little
salt and pepper, three tablcspoonfals yineear
Beat the yolk well and add the salt pepper,
and mustard and half OF .he vinegar, and stir
oRor the ire until scalaed- Then bes.t antil
The National tribune., 1883-10-11
KISSING AND HAIR BLEACHING,
,,r,r,,-S,,y ~ cn,,4

To the Editor NATIONAL TRIBUNE:
Permit TO say TO Miss l. Wallace that we are
two Atchison girls. very fond of young gentemen's
society. and both bellies of the town. We have
often discussed the subject of promiscuous kissing
now, and always have that if gentleman is po-
lite and kind enough 70 invite you to party to
show you any attention it is only right TO make
some return for his kindness.
VIII some kind member of the Household give
good recipe for bleaching hair? Is it not right
for Us to bleach our hair if By doing enhance
beauty? TWO bellies.
The National tribune., 1883-10-11
STABLE FLOORS.

The Dairy, in answer TO question about
floor for COW stables, says that it depends upon
circumstances. If the stable is on the ground
floor it should never be of wood for the reasons
that it makes harbor for yerInin and becomes
saturated with the manure, and therefore un-
wholesome. Such floor should be made of
concrete OF paved with stone. The very best
Is made of broken stone well rammed down;
thin cement mortar is then run over it and
brushed in; sand or coal ashes is then spread
over the soft cement, aud this is we'll rammed