The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-01-24
McwILLIAMS BURGLAR ALARM.

--LIule ". DuT. w ~. T. beu9of'
McWILLIAMS BURGLAR ALARM.
The conversation drifted smoothly
and pleasantly along from weather TO
crops, from crop 10 literature, from lit.
craturo to scandal, from scandal TO ro-
ligion, then took random jump, and
landed on the subject Of burglar alarms.
And now for the first time Mr.. McWill.
Jams showed feeling. Whenever
perceive this sign on this mans dial I
comprehend it, and lapse into silence,
and give him opportunity to unload his
heart. Said he, with but Uncontrolled
emotion:
IL do not 90 one single cent on burg
lar alarms, Mr.. Twaif-not u single
sent--and will toll You why. When
We were finishing our house we found
we had little cash left oyor, on ac-
count OF the plumber not knowing it. l
was for enlightening the heathen with
1t. for ! was always unaccountably
down on tho heather somehow; but
Mrs. McWillams said no, let 8 have a
burglar alarm. l agreed to this COM
promise. | will explain that whenever
want thing, and Mrs. McWilliams
wants another thing, and we decide
upon tho thing that Mrs. McWilliams
wants-as We always do she calls that
= compromise. Very we'll the man
came up from Now York and put In tho
alarm, and CHARGED $685. for 1t, and
said we could sleep without uneasness
now. So we did for while-say n
month. Then ono night wo smelled
smoke, and was advised TO got up and
SEQ what the matter was. ] III candle
and started toward tho stairs, and met
a burglar coming out Of u room with n
basket OF tln-ware, which he had mis-.
taken for solid silver in the dark. lilo
was smoking pipe, | said: My
friend, VIC do not allow smoking In tn :
ROOM lie said he was n stranger, and
could not be expected to know the rules
Of tho house; said he had been in
many houses just as good ~ this one,
md II hal never been oh ccted to be-
fero. lie added that rs far MS his cype-
rienco went, such rules had never been
considered to apply to burglars any
way.
II said Smoke along, then, If It is
the custom, though think that tho con-
csd ng OF privilege to Il burglar which
is denied to Is shop is II conspicuous
sign OF tho loosenoss Of tho times. But
waving all that, what business have
you to BIO entering this house in this
furtive and clanlcstine way, without
ringing the burglar alarm?'
"llo looked confused and ashamed,
and said. W TN embarrassment: Il beg
thousand pardons ! did not know YOU
had \ bur lar alarm. else would have
rnng H. bog YOU will not mention II
where my parents may hear il, for they
are old and iceolc, and such u seeming
ly wanton breach Of the hallowed con-
ventonalities OF our Christian civlliza-
ton NJ ght all too rudely sundcr the
fra bridge VIII ch hangs darkling be-
tween tho pale and eyanescent present
and the solemn great deeps Of tho etcr-
mites. May trouble you for matchr
81 said: Your sentiments do you
honor, but, II you will allow mo to say
", metaphor is not your best hold.
op1 par. your sn,Pni , W. k,nu llgn' only
III Wv uoh, 'snu so,uoli' mere III laco,
return To- p,lslness How u tia Won p Sst 10
hcrsp
.Throuch n .ocord.o,orv ,,,rdowu
al, 'as 1896 a'.O-,. i5o WHY NV, H.,
was u,Jm sI io o,a' .no .'n
' wv q. l"""p pi %, I"'es, iISs cose y,
NV. LING, pauc inc burglar gooa
n'gnI, c'osou the WINDOW alter MN; ana
re,,,ea 70 ~" so 70 report Mex,
m.n .s We rs oei ., ,or ,no pIrg,nrl,ai ,nh
.h.. ~. IN" ro. no cams ,L Up ""a eNpla'nea
on VIVA TINT ' no n r"p " of tho a hon "U' bt