News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-12-20
THOSE HOLIDAY GIFTS.
A Surprising Immunity in Their selection

A Surprising Unanimity in Their selection.
In the matter of Christmas presents it
is singular that it runs as sort of cpl
demic. There ought to be an intelli-
gence office where people can register
the presents that they are going to give,
and who they are going to give them to-,
so that the same party will not get the
same things from a dozen different
friends. On Christmas Day, a middle
aged man met friend, and as they said
Here's many happy returns" the first
man said:
"By the way, can you tell me II there
is a vacant store on any business street
that | can lease for a month or two? [
want to close out a stock Of satin sus-
penders. You see, l have got good
many friends, and naturally expected
some presents. They began to come
Saturday night, and the first package I
opened contained an elegant pair Of
satin suspenders, and [ was proud of
them. [ put them on, and wanted to go
with my coat md vest off all the time to
show them. The next package l opened
contained another pair of satin suspend
ers. with red lining, in glass box, and
| laid them away, thinking [ would put
them on doeskin pants, and not have to
change suspenders from one pair of
pants to the other. Sunday [ kept get
ting suspenders, and Sunday night, at a
Christmas tree, / got seven more pairs,
all satin. l tell you, [ got to seeing
suspenders with my eyes shut, the way
a man with the jim-jams sees snakes. |
dreamed of nothing but suspenders all
night. I could see my girl, the girl that L
love more than all the world besides,
floating through the air held up by satin
suspenders.
''She sailed around over me, in my
dream, and there were suspenders on
her till [ couldn't rest. When she want
ed to drop down to kiss me, she I'M
buckled a suspender and down came her
rosy mouth, and then she would buckle
up the suspenders and circle around
some more, her eyes twinkling and her
dimples dimpling, and then suspender
broke and down she came, the whole
hundred and forty pounds onto my chest,
and I woke up and she was gone. That
moment the doOr-bell rang, and it was
Christmas morning, and the servant
brought in four packages of suspenders,
and then got up and found three boxes
of suspenders in my stockings. At my
office there were a number of packages
that came by mail and express, and all
of them contained satin suspenders.
During the day l wished a few friends
merry Christmas and they all gave me
[ did not dare kick, and
tell them | had enough suspenders, and
took them. I assume there are more
on the road for me, and when
the returns are all in [ expect to have
the finest stock of that class of gents
goods ever brought to this
market. 1t beats all how people seem
forum in grooves on Christmas presents. -
''Well, " says the other man, ''you are
lucky to get suspenders. I got nothing
but cellulOid combs and brushes. Those
white ones, that curl up when they get
wet. They began to come, rs you say
lbout your suspenders, Saturday night, !
md they have been coming ever since. |
have got over two dozen, and not hair
'nOugh to keep one comb and brush !
busy. The air seems full of celluloid |
Combs and brushes. But my sister las |
got the worst lot of presents. They are |
I'll nail sets, for trimming and polishing |
Ter finger and toe nails. I never knew |
here was such Il thing as nail sets until |
ny sister got to opening up her pres
nts. She bites off her nails, that is.
Ter finger nails, and would probably |
ever use one set of nail tools enough to
Jay for keeping it but what ON earth
viii she do with over thirty nail sets? I
ell you, there ought to be some law in
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