The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1883-08-30

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| write down the very words of the di-
alogue as we'll as | can recall them,
wondering as | do it that neither then
nor afterwards did the plausible soph-
istries stir my belief that truth existed
somewhere in the world. knew my
father through and through; that his life
was clean and brave that lie served his
God with humility and sill hcerity, and
helped his neighbor in all singleness of
| heart.
You may think it singular, then, that
for three years | deliberately and care
fully deceived him. However, safely DR..
b. and his fellow retormers might con
tinue their potations, Paul's clandestine
indulgence did not keep wi hin bounds
! Before we had been married twelve
months he drank heavily Wherever and
however the day was spent, the hour
preceding bis bedtime was devoted to
such avid qualification Of this appetite as
terrified Inc when | beheld it. | could
see that he anticipated the season
through the long, trailing hou rs when eX
pediency kept him abstinent, as lover
a tryst, Christian his heaven
After the first nights talk | never re-
preached him. People have said that if
he had really loved me his cd urse would
have been different. He ddd love me,
freqentIy and truly, while sin gle instinct
escaped deterioration. He never spoke
unkindly to me or gave me an unloving
look in all the years we spent together
He was worth saving, and for time be-
lieved that salvation would col he through
our mutual devotion His W As a sunny,
atfectionate nature his heart WAS as ten
der as a child's lis sensitive perceptions
and quick sympathies We're womanly
All this helped me to throw myself be-
tween him and the carping world, to
screen his failing from the eyes Of my
nearest of kin. With him practiced
every witely vile ingenuity co bid devise
to strengthen my influence a bd weaken
that OF the tempting habit. | dressed,
studied, sang and talked for hm-him
alone. He was social, and W. int abroad
with him, evening after evening to party,
concert and lecture invited oung peo-
pie to our house, and got up charades,
games, carpet-dances all man her of sim
pie amusements to cheat him into forget
tulness of the unnatural thirst that con
sumed soul and body. He W bs fond of
dainty, hlghspiccd dishes, and he had
them. | made strong coffee for him when
he came in late on cold nights had iced
tea, lemonade and fruits AT all hours in
hot weather What mattered| it to me,
in the hand hand fight with the mes
senger of Satan that my on family
thought | spoiled and pampe FED him
that others called me worl lly and
. frivolous, and ascribed to my hus-
bands influence our regular attendance
upon Sabbath and week day sd drvices !
| shrink from the memory of those
weekly prayer meetings as at the touch
OF rough finger on a tiaye4 surface.
Paul was gifted in prayer, and often
called upon to pray and speak He had
a large Bible class Of Young n en- whose
attachment to him thrilled me with dis
tresstul torbodings. My CLASH of girls
was i'll full sight OF their br kit, eager
faces, and struggled to conn Eand eyes
and tongue the while my soul 81 at shiver-
ing in gloom and dread, saying over, and
in a wild, frightened way" If the blind
lead the blind If the blind lead the
blind "
When he pleaded in prayer with the
Searcher OF hearts, for the resc1 be Of per
ishing sinners, or talked of the believers
hopes and Joys, | could hear nd thing but
the iteration of the whisper il my own
ears 20 If the light that is in thee he
darkness, how great is that daH kness -
lie never saw that it was darkness.
That was the most hopeless pant OF it ALL
He would insist upon going thl ough the
form of family worship with tongue SO
thick | could not understand word he
said would rise into eoquence bf suppli-
cation for the outpOuring Of the Holy
Spirit when | had to help him from his
knees AT the "Amen." In the to him
darkest days after the poor VI iii Of re-
spectability was rent away from him, he
maintained the habit of secret nd house
hold prayer, and spoke of him self to his
Maker and Judge, as zone Of he right
eous whom the Lord would Hever for
sake"
My father was on a visit to our house
when Paul had the first violent ATTACK Of
delirium tremens. The upright old man
watched him with me throud dhout an
awful night, growing years oil Her every
hour. When the crisis passed. he told
me must go home with him.
"lauI Muir IS consummate hypocrite
and scoundrel,' he said, in white wrath
ellis house is a hell to a decent woman.
\ our presence encourages him ih his evil
courses. Your devotion degra(ies your
wifehood and your SEX
He is the best and WiSest nah | know
this dear, much-tried, noble father
But | am glad stayed with Phul. He
was going down hill The air broke out
into rumors as mephitc gases ]re fired
by a spark. \ business crash b uried his
good name lrretrievably out Of sight. He
had been careless with Other mems
money, and while his clouded wi Its stray
ed hither and thither, it was gone. The
whole, or a part of the talk of eMbeZZle-
ment may have been true. All the same,
| stood by my husband. We eX changed
our elegant cottage for two pOdr rooms
in a tenement house. All the sa me | set
out the wreck of our furniture to the best
advantage, made over my old dresses,
chatted, sang and laughed to an use him
when he brought home each day the tale
OF lll-success in the search for employ
ment, and OF insult from former friends.
| cooked coarse materials cunniItgly into
appetizing messes, bantered and per
suaded him to take long walks with me
in the open air and attend Ito mex
penslve entertainments. We $Old my
silver and laces bit by bit The sum my
father insisted upon sending II G every
month melted as frost in fl Ie One
dollar went each Sunday into W hat Paul
called "the Lords treasury" He could
not trust himself with the money when
he knew there were liquor shops open in
certain back streets and alleys | must
see that the dollar was saved from the
weekly income, take it to chut tch and
give it to him privately as the pld tie came
down the aisle. | have seen his hand,
shaking with rumpalsy, drop in the
money when | was faint with hunger
and chilly for the need of fla nnels |
could not buy. never gains aid the
Offering; only | wondered sometimes
where it went, and if Gods blessing could
make it clean.
One day in the third year of this life
he took my monthly remittance from the
post office, and went off with a wicked
woman, without leaving word of fare
we'll for m EOur yuaalze, I,+ ~, f,+ho,,