davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03
Doctors and Churches.

The doctors of New York city, hun
dreds of whom have personally visited
Speer's Vineyards during the wine
making season, say his Port Grape
Wine has proved to be pure, unadul-
terated, Of fine favor and tonic prop
critics, and is unsurpassed for its res
torative powers, and they prescribe il
as very superior wine. The princi-
pal Churches in New York and Brook
lyn use it for communion. For sale
by E. D. Lewis and W. F. Scott, Jack
son, and C.. M. Williams, Wellston.
26apr2t
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

GIVE ELYs' CREAM BALM thor
ough trial if you would be cured of
Catarrh and Hay Fever, or quickly re-
lieved of Colds in the head. Price 50
cents.
APPLY INTO NosTR1Ls WITH LITTLE
FINGER.
For SEVERAL years | have been
troubled with Catarrh; have tried
many remedies. Elys' Cream Balm
has proved to be the article desired.
I believe it is the only cure. L. B.
CoBURN, Towanda, Pa.
For THE TREATMENT of Catarrh,
Cold in the Head, Catarrhal Deafness
and Hay Fever we call particular at
tention to valuable remedy, Ely's
Cream Balm. We hear the most ia
vorable reports of its curative effects.
We would strongly recommend this
discovery to our patrons, being fully
convinced it will please in every case.
DAN. C. MEsERoLL, Druggist, Jack
son, Mich. 26apr2t
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

THE thoughts which naturally arise
in the mind of the man who attends a
fashionable society event." of the
present day are delineated in the story
Of Benjamin Franklin, who, while be-
ing entertained in Paris, was present
at fashionable ball. Dresses cut de-
cidedly low, were then as now the
fashion. He was standing aloof,
when an acquaintance said to him:
"Oh, Mr.. Franklin, did you ever see
such sight as this before?" And the
Quaker replied: mo, not since | was
weaned."
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03
HARD-HEARTED landlord

A HARD-HEARTED landlord ap-
preached his tenant and demanded the
rent and informed him that, unless it
was paid him instantly, he would
throw him out. "Vat?" said the
tenant. "Unless you pay me at once,
I will throw you out" said the land
lord. "Vell, said the tenant, II will
pay der day pehind yesterday" ''That
won't do, sir. You must pay now or
/ will take the necessary steps," "Oh!
vell," said the tenant, ''go und take
der steps, und der front door or der
necessary steps in der rear of you
wants. Dots all right"
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

Two IRIsHMEN came to guidepost
on wide and desolate plain. 1t was
getting dusk, and the unfenced trails
were scarcely distinguishable. "Five
miles to Glenairlie," read one of them,
putting his face close to the board.
"But which av them goes to Glen
.airlie, sure?" asked his companion,
looking obviously at the two trails.
After a few moments meditative 81
lence, the first Irishman replied: "We
can try one av thin, and then the
other" But how will we find the
way back, if we get lost?" "Sure,
we will take the board along wild US, i"
replied the first. And so the two pill
grims lighted their pipes and marched
cheerfully away with the guideboard
between them.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03
PhalOn's VitaIia

Restores Hair to its original color
1t is not muddy compound. Pha-
Ions Hair Invigorator strengthens
and beautifes the hair and removes
dandruff Phalon's Night Blooming
Cereus, delightfully."- fragrant perfume.
All the Phalon perfumes made by
Manhattan Med. Co., with all their
original purity.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

ALL diseases resulting from self
abuse, as nervous debility, mental anx-
iety, depression of spirits, and func-
tional arrangements of nervous sys-
tenn, cured by German Inyigorator.
See advertisement For sale by w.
F. Hale. 3may3m
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

A GooD INvEsTMENT.-One of our
prominent business men said to us the
other day: I'm the spring my wife
got all run down and could not eat
any thing; passing your store | saw a
pile of Hoods SarsapariIla in the win
dow, and | got bottle. After she
had taken it week she had rousing
appetite, and did her everything. She
took three bottles, and it was The best
three dollars | ever invested.
G. L. HOOP & Co.,
Lowell, Mass.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

A WEsTERNER, who greatly admired
the proficiency attained by the man
in charge Of the hat-room in New
York hotel, whereby more than 200
hats were handed to the different
guests without a mistake, asked the
man how he knew the hat just returned
was his. "Well, sab" was the brisk
response, II couldn't swar dat de hat
was yourn, sab. only knows it was
de hat you guv me"
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

A MAN who was arrested for cruelty
to miserable-looking horse was asked
if he ever fed him. Ever fed him p?
That's a good 'un," was the reply.
Hes got a bushel and half of oats
at home now, only he amt got time
to eat EN-"
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

A CHATHAM Street merchant is
strict in regard to the personal ap-
pearance of his clerks wearing a mus
tache, and when one of them applied
to him for permission to raise a mus
tache: dat vas all right" he replied;
you shoost raise so much viskers as
you blease. so long you don't wear 'em
in the store during pishness hours"
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

HOME, Sweet Home" was recently
played in New York, and distinctly
heard by telephone in Chicago. New
Workers are now engaged in listening
to the fairy tread of Chicago-girls
feet by the same instrument.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

A STAND fell down with a crash,
A number of men it did mash,
But the entire ten
Were soon well again
st. Jacobs Oil cured every cash.
A baker who lives in Duluth,
Went crazy one night with tooth
He rubbed the gum boil,
With st. Jacobs Oil,
It cured him, and this is the truth.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

CATCHES the eye: "a loft to lett"
is painted on the door of a Gold Street
store. "Why don't you spell. those
words properly?" a customer asked
the proprietor. Because If we did,
no one would turn to read them.
That extra t. catches the eye"
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

WHATS your name?" asked one
four-year-old Miss of another Il do
declare!' replied the second little girl,
''you are as inquisitive as grown peo-
pie. They always ask my name, and
where | got my new boots, and all
such things, until l am ashamed of
'em."
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

THERE is a young lady up in Colum-
bia County who is six feet tall and is
engaged to be married. The man
who won her did it in these words:
'Thy beauty sets my soul aglow; I'd
wed thee, right or wrong; man wants
but little here below, but he wants
that little long"
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

A Boston young lady of wealth and
position has astonished society" by
cutting and making her own wedding
dress. She also intended to make her
own wedding cake, but the board of
health interfered.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

ONE of our best citizens would say
to the public that he has tried Halls
Catarrh Cure, and it is all that is
claimed for it. Price Is cents per
bottle. Sold by w. F. Hale.
3may3m
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

'I'M going to a masquerade ball
this evening, and I want an appropri-
ate Dress" he said to the customer.
"What is your business?" "Oh! I'm
milkman." "Ah! then you had bet
ter put on a pair of pumps and go dis
guised as a waterfall"
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

SOME one has said: ut may be that
the diamond is the stone for an en-
gagement; but give us the old cobble-
stone in free fight"
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

WHEN Doctor Ell. and Lawyer A.
were walking arm in arm, wag said
to a friend: 'Those two are just equal
to one highwayman." .'Why?" asked
his friend. because" rejoined the
wag, ''it is a lawyer and doctor
your money or your life!'
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

WHEN Dr. Chapman was dining at
an hotel he was served with what was
called barley soup ON the bill of fare.
"That is not barley SOUP" said he to
the waiter, ''it is barely soup"
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

CATARRH is the seed Of Consump-
ton, and unless taken in time is a
very dangerous disease. Halls Ca
tarrh Cure never fails to cure. Price
Is cents. Sold by W. F. Hale.
3may3m
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

"WHY did you learn to smoke, my
boy?" ''For the reason that you did,
l suppose" "Well, l want you to
stop smoking won't you give
me the reason for stopping that l had
for learning, father?" After a mo-
ment, "Yes, l will" Both stopped.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03
DIR. MRTT's Liver PILLS are the
best Cathartic Regulators.

will you have your eggs scram-
bled or poached?" asked a second
grade hotel waiter of a grangerly
looking hungry man who sat down to
table in his overcoat. "Nuther one,'
was the quick reply. i've been
scrambling around and poaching
through the mud all day myself, and
have got enough Of it. | don't want
any of your lively city eggs, anyway.
Bring me sasserful that have never
been sot on, and bile'm hull"
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

AN enterprising reporter, writing
Of wreck at sea, stated that no less
than fourteen of the unfortunate crew
and passengers bit the dust.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

FUNNY, isn't it, that you always
see the night-fall before any stars
begin to shoot?
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

Student (reciting): "And-er-then
he-er-went-er -and-er- The
class laugh. Professor: Don't laugh,
gentlemen. To err is human.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03

Work, play, study, whatever it is,
take hold at once and finish it.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-05-03
M MEDICAL.


For Dyspepsia,
Cos tive n e 8 9,
J Sick Headache,
c hronic Diar-
rhea, Jaundice,
IInpurity of the
Blood, Fever and
I Ague, Malaria,
and all Diseases
couSetl by De.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-13
CaudeliZei-

A man who is afflicted with the dis
ease known as "caudelized" often per-
mits his thoughts to travel back to the
date when his loved one sat upon his
knee, and midst caressings and en-
bracings, hours passed swiftly away.
The disease claims homestead rights.
1t has its equity in the furniture of a
chamber, and never asserts its rights
until the curtains of night have been
unlocked, and the red curtains of the
bed have been drawn. 1t usually at
tacks man just after disrobing, and
only ends when Morpheus gathers him
in. When man feels the approach of
the spectre he shuts his eyes, and is
ready to commend his soul to the God
who gave it. When the disease is upon
him he struggles nobly to resist it. He
fights it by maintaining the most pain
full silence, which seems to aggravate
the disease, and he prays for the ever
lasting rest, for the days of toothless
gums, for frosted locks, for tottering
old age and for deafness; for the days
when the flesh is weak and the mind
impaired; for the days of stiffened
limbs, when the desire for fun and
deviltry have passed. There and then
only does convalescence come.
He thinks how strange it is that the
voice once so melodious and charming
had become so caliope and perceptibly
shriller; that querulous sharps should
take the place of the accented pianis-
simo passage of love murmurs that
were heard in the days of courtship and
the month of cleaning honeymoon
Carl PretzePs Weekiy.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-13
-JETSApI."
BY SAMUEL W. DUFFIELD.

When days are bright and hope is high,
When sun and wind are sweet,
The little ripples dart and fly
And gladden. at my feet,
And ships far of go sailing by
In some white-winged fieet.
NV heart Is light; i laugh and sing
As by myself go:
NV thought, like gulls on lazy wing,
Move purely to and fro.
lack not then for anything
Which nature can bestow.
But il, against that dimmest verge
Which joins the sky and sea
Some huge, dark hand begins TO urge
The waters wrathfully,
They SWEEP, in swiftly rising surge,
Through my eternity.
And vet tomorrow TO the sand
The little bird will come;
To-mo row Will he warm and bland.
Der wreaths OF rerished foam
And weed and shell flung up to land,
Will meet me as i roam.
. soul Of m'nel thou art n sea
BY which i love to stray
A brok6n-edged eternity
To lift me when play.
Why should l shun the agony
Which gives ne JOY to-day
q soul of mine! thou hidest well
The secrets of thy breast;
Ionly know by weed or shell
The distant and the best.
bless the tide whose pulses tell
That after storm Is rest.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-13
The Lord and the Shilling.

The following episode, which hap
pened lately at one of our fashionable
hotels, proves that virture is sometimes
more substantially rewarded than the
old adage would seem to indicate. One
evening rather late gentleman, a
great admirer of mans best friend, saw
some magnificent dogs in the care of
the hall porter. Having entered into
conversation with the temporary keeper
of the Cerberi, he learned that the
owner had left no instructions as to
their being fed; he therefore took upon
himself to order a repast for them.
They were still enjoying it when the
owner returned, and the good Samari-
tan, going up, told him he had been
admiring his dogs, and had ordered
them to be fed. ooh, thank you
Here, take this" and the owners graft
tude took the tangible shape of the coin
recruiting sergeants dispense in the
Queens name. The gentleman smil-
ing took the proffered reward, and said
Il am Lord -, and | most heartily
thank you for the first shilling L have
ever earned l shall have hole drilled
in it, and wear it as a charm. 1t may
bring me luck" "Oh, my Lord! L
cannot tell you how sorry L am at my
blunder. Pray give me back my shill-
ing, and except my most heartfelt
apology" II beg you not to apologize.
You have made me feel quite a proud
man, and as to the shilling, you must
allow me to keep it, that it may become
an heirloom in my family, where we
have never had an opportunity of earn
ing money."-London Truth.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-13
The King Of Asps.

A new snake, called the echis car
inata, which is the first specimen of its
race seen in England, and of which we
have no specimen here, is attracting
crowds to the Regents Park, London.
1t is about foot and half long, and
the color is dingy gray. 1t is the dead
Hest of created things, for it carries III
its tiny head the secret of destroying
life with the sudden rapidity of light
ming and the concentrated agony of all
poisons. This king of the asps is more
dangerous than the cobra or the korait,
for it does not turn and run like the
one, or fash into concealment like the
other, but with fearless pluck gives
fight, and pitches its eighteen inches of
length against any conner. A stroke of
q stick will break it in two, or a stone
will smash it, but such is it's venomous
malignity that it will challenge attack
by every device in its power, stalking
its own life on the mere chance of its
adversary coming within the little cir
Gle of its reach. The radius of that
circle is twelve inches, but within it Mt
any point lies certain death, and in the
bare hope of hand or foot trespassing
within its reach the echis throws its
body into fgure-of-eight coil, and, at
tracing attention by rubbing its loops
together, which, from the roughness of
the scales (hence the epithet carinata),
makes rustiing sound, erects its head
in the center and awaits attack. No
one having once encountered this terri
BILE little creature can ever forget its
truculent aspect when aroused; its
eagerly aggressive air; its restless coils,
which, in constant motion one over an
other and rustling ominously all the
time, bring it nearer and nearer to the
object of its fury; its eve, malignant
even beyond those of other vipers, and
then the inconceivable rapidity of its
stroke. The echis does not wait ia
strike until it is within striking dis.
lance, but vents its malice in repeatedly
darling at nothing, hoping to aggra
vate its antagonist into coming to closer
quarters, or more probably as mere
expression of its own uncomfortable
viciousness.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-13
any child, my childi" yroaned Wolf

any child, my childi" groaned Wolf
gang, in an agony of frenzied grief.
lifting the lifeless form in his strong
arms. "What have done, wretch that
/ amp
While he stood lavishing his insane
caresses upon the dead face of his
daughter, the great bell at st. Quen-
tyns commenced to toll. AS its meas
ured stroke fell slowly and mournfully
on his ear, it seemed to him that it was
the accusing voice of his murdered
daughter.
With mad cry, he smote his breast
with his hands.
Let me die" he said, in voice so
hoarse and choked that his followers
did not recognize it.
II have killed an angel; let me die !"
and, with terrible bound, he leaped
from the headland into the sea.
Through all that night, and for days
and nights to come, st. Quentyn's bell
tolled slowly, sadly solemnly-tolled
the funeral knell of the fair young
Christobel The wreckers, listening
TO its awful sound, grew saperstitsous
and afraid, and gradually abandoned
their hamlet, seeking other haunts, and
it was only when wrecking, as bust
ness, was given up, that the bell ceased
tolling continuously. But, regularly,
on the approach of a great storm, it
still sends out its warning voice.
For sixty years, L have heard it as
you did this afternoon, and my father,
who lived to the very great age of 80
years, said he had been guarded by
its warnings through his time, and il
was generally believed in by his people
before him.
Though covered with rust, and with
no opportunity for lawless hands to
reach it, providing there were persons
who cared to do it, so, st. Quentyn's
still tolls, as in the days when / heard
the tale for the first time from the lips
of my grand sire.
A long silence followed the conclu.
sion of the old coast-guard's story. The
sea still Numbered its mighty voice in
my ears, and the wind tore madly
around the dilapidated town, making
it's time-worn walls tremble in the
blast. 1t seemed as if | again beheld
the rusty, weather-worn bell swinging
slowly to and fro in the ruined tower
at st. Quentyn's, sending out its sol
emn, unearthly protest to the winds
the waves and the storms.-C Chicago
Ledger.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-13
The Cincinnati Way.
"Good-morning, Smith. How's the
grocery trade ?"

"Good-morning, Smith. How's the
grocery trade ?"
"Slow-very slow"
Lets see. How long have you been
here in business?"
Seven years.
"And how many times have You
failed?"
Never, sir"
"Ahl see. Well, I'll put you down
for a September failure; creditors ac-
cept 10 per cent; business removed 70
larger and more commodious quarters.
Mr.. Smith, let me call your attention
to $40, 900 worth of worthless railroad,
canal and bridge securities, which ! can
lump you off at $75. They'll count you
face value in settling with creditors.
and show where your profits went.
Busy? Ali I'll call again. No trou'
BILE to show goods l"-WaU Street Neaos.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-13
An OdOr for War.

A French chemist has invented an
odor that will hold any fort and the
land within half mile of it for week
The smell is not deadly, but no mortal
can stand before it. The new agent is
expected to work a revolution in the
art of war, beside serving in obstinate
civil cases. 1t produces sensations of
nausea and disgust like the worst sea-
sickness
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-13
The Russian Capital.

A curious blunder is that whereby
we call the Russian capital st. Peters
burg, when rightfully it is simply
Petersburg, being named for Peter the
Great, and not for the celestial gate
keeper. Monthly.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-13

The biggest of the big trees of Cali
fornia must doff It's plumes to mon
arch of the Australian woods, if the re-
port is true that symmetrical speci-
men of the Eucalyptus dmygdidind
430 feet high was lately discovered in
Victoria.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-13

SPEAKING much is sign of vanity
for he that is lavish in words is mig
gard in deed.-Sir Walter Raleigh.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-13

THE noblest mind the best content
ment has. Edmund Spenser.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-13
BEFORE AND AFTER.

did step on your train?"
Nay, dearest, no matter!"
My pet brown again
Did / step on the trainl"
You wanted It's plain,
An excuse, sir; to tatter!
Did step on your train
Nay, my dearestl what matter2"
your foots on my gown
We'll, it doesn't much matterl"
You Vandal! you clown!
Your foot's on my gown
Such on ugly dull brown
'Tisnt worth all this chatter!"
Your foot's on my gown"
We'll, what does it matter?"
II was in Latin class, and a dull
boy was wrestling with the sentence,
"Rex fugit," which, with a painful
slowness of emphasis, he had rendered,
"The king fees" But in what other
tense can the verb 'fugit be found ?"
asked the teacher. A long scratching
of the head and q final answer of per
feet" owing to whispered prompting.
And how would you translate it then ?"
Dunno" "Why put has in it."
Again the tardy emphasis drawled out,
"The king has feas." = Waterbury
american.
SONNET UNTO A BAREFOOT BOY.
Inc barefoot DONl L marx MIN at MS play
For May is here once more, and so is he
His dusty trousers, rolled half TO the knee,
And his bare ankles. dirty, too, as they;
Cross-hatchings of the nettle in array
OF feverish stripes, hint wildly to me
OF woody pathways winding endlessly
Along the creek where even Yesterday
He plunged his shrinking body-gasped and
shook;
Yet called the water warm" with never lack
OF joy. And So half.cautionsly look
Upon this graceless barefoot and his track
His toe stubbed-aye, his big toe-nail knocked
back
Like unto the clasp of an old pocket-book.
j. W. Riley.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1883-10-25
DAILY.
NORTHWARD...
tBREAKFAsT. *DINNER.
isUPPER.

Pullman Sleeper, daily on Express No. from
Chattanooga to New York (without change) con-
Meeting with Pullman Sleeper from New Or
leans to Washington, making virtually a through
line of Sleepers New Orleans to New York, via
Roanoke and Harrisburg.
Pullman Parlor Car, daily except Sunday, on
Iraln No. 2, between Luray and Philadelphia,
via Harrisburg.
i5O pounds of baggage checked free to each
Whole ucket: 1000 mile tickets, $25 90; 500 mile
JOS. w. SANDS, A POPE
General Sup't, Gen Pass. Agent,
sepo hoahoke, Va. Iynchburg, Va.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1883-10-25
HOTELS.

p EVERE HOUSE AND SPOTSWUOD HOTEL
HARRISONBURG, VIRGINIA.
A.A. PITMAN AND NM. CARTMELL, Proprietors.
These Hotels are consolidated and will be I'M
der one management, and
KEPT IN FIRST-CLASS STYLE
Both houses have been ventilated and refur-
nlshed. We have 80 large and well-furnished
rooms, together with several sample rooms
TERMs-S2 per day 5000 per week: s25 to S35
per month, according to location aug23-tf
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1883-10-25
RAILROADS

Cinema NDOAH VALLEY RAILROAD.
TIME TABLE--In effect Aug, 9th, 1883.