The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-03-09
Unwise Sympathy Of Mothers.

Unwlse Sympathy Of Mothers.
Among the many able writers who so
pleasantly enlighten us in the sitting
room aneDt domestic, and especially MAJ
ternal duties. there may be some who will
be little startled at the above caption.
Can mother be too sympathetic? /
think the question may be answered yes,
and no. Never too sympathetic and
tender under some circumstances of her
child's life; weakly, even criminally SO
under others.
And too often, as q result of this in;u-
dicious softness of the mother, grow
many uncomfortable children; children
who are always unaccountably ito the
mothers) ailing; children who must
ever be amused or waited upon by some
body; children who are uncomfortable
timid and who have small idea of help
ing themselves or others. do not now
refer to what are usually known as
spoilt children, who must be solaced
with mothers work basket, the mantel
ornaments, fathers watch. or anything
attainable in tho household. that their
elders may be allowed the boon OF ten
minutes quiet, but in those homes
where parents are in most respects en-
deavoring to train their little ones
Alright: where bursts of passion. or
arrant freaks of mischief are duly pun
ished; yet the gentle yielding of the
mother puts undue work on her already
pressed hands. and engrafts even disa-
greeable habits on her children. Willie
or Minnie are bid to do some triiling
errand across the hall, or upstairs, and
the little one demurs. Mother. or some
tender-hearted sister or auntie, seeing
the hesitation. is very apt to yield to the
disobliging Incidence, and say: "oh!
well. I'll CO." And the small feet lose
the opportunity to spare the older ones,
and the wee heart strengthens in its ma
tive selfishness. Katie loves to cut pa
per on the fioor-a clean. pretty amuse-
ment-but she leaves her scissors and
snippings to go to other play; at first
you call her back. but seeing the gath
ering frown on the fair little brow, the
sympathetic mother hastens to say: ego
to your dollies, mother will pick all this
up" So the little girls lesson in neat
ness is unlearned, and bad habit of
leaving things .'for mother to do" is
fast forming! Charlie or Nellie are not
strong, but their mother "can not bear
to punish them" by Withholding GER
tain injurious articles of food. So Nellie
has her meat at night with papa. and,
as result, losses and mutters in her
sleep, frequently disturbing the too
fond mothers own needed rest Charlie
WHI have green apples and cucumbers
in their season, and mother doses and
doctors. and grows alarmed over the
severe cramps and diarrhqa. which
little tirmness in saying no might have
prevented. And, indeed. there are
many mothers too tender-hearted (?) to
insist upon sick children swallowing the
needful medicine. when found unpala-
table. l have myself heard. with
amazement, another whose child was
almost at the point of death (and did
finally die) with Group, say: II can't
get her to take enough of this to do any
good; she don't like me taste of Hn
There can be no question but that it
is natural for some children 10 be far
less daring and self reliant than others;
but that timidity and nervous terrors
are much increased by the over-sympa-
thy ofmothers, Ihave not the slightest
doubt. -. . FOO
Bid your two-year-old Carrie to bring
some article from the nextroom. .'Its
dark" she says, shrinkingly. "Oh,n
too dark to get mother what she wants.
you answer, cheerily, and almost in
variably the child will go at once. Be
careful not to prelude your request by.
''are you afraid to go in the dark?'
Too often the mother says pityingly:
"Oh! she, S afraid, I'll 60" and the result
is the child neUer ventures alone in
darkened room. Somebody must go
with it, somebody must get it drink OF
water, somebody must put away its books
or hat because sits dark" We have
seen this child-formed habit cling to per-
sons even of mature years. q habit ex-
ceedingly uncomfortable to themselves
and others.
This unwise sympathy of mothers
causes themselves much unnecessary
work, inasmuch as it renders children
more dependent than they need be.
There are mothers too sympathetic to
teach infants to sit alone. but weary,
back and arms, holding them. The un-
wise sympathy causes child to nag
nifty tritiing ills into great misfortunes,
and helps to strengthen as with cords
the too ready selfishness of the heart. As
an excellent writer said but lately: "a
sanity, unselfish woman may have very
disagreeable. selfish children, ever put
ting herself last; bit it's her oa0n talh.h
Expect something of your child, and
show him or her that you do expect
something. and nine cases out of ten
your child responds to you, even ut a
much earlier age than soft disciplin-
arians will admit AS character in a
late book for girls energetically puts it
"Set your children ON their feet-on
their own ieetn'
They are neither angels nor toys. but
human beings with immortal souls.
whose usefulness and happiness in this
world. and preparations for another,
may be greatly married if not lost by I'M
wise training. Christian at HOrk.
The Freckle. Faced Girl,