Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-08-04

Tries Hard 10 obey orders n Drtves
NJ . EsDeeal.

1 ETA EtuU.
| We'll. great julius Caesars baldhead
ed ghost. what's the matter with you,
said the grocerymau TO the bad boy a
he came into the grocery on crutche;
with an arm IN a sling, one eve back
ened, and strip of court plaster acros
one side of his face. Where vas tn
explosion, or have you been in fight
Or has your pa been giving you wha
You deserve with a club? Here. let N
help you There, sit down on that ke
OF appleiack. Well, BY the great guns
you look as though you had called some
body liar. What's the matter" An,
the grocery man took the crutches an,
stood them up against the show case.
-. there's not much the matter viii
me, said the boy, in a voice that sound
ed all broke up, as he took big sppl
Oh basket, and began peeling it viii
his upper front teeth. "lf you think
am wreck you ought TO see the minis
ter. They had to carry him home liz IN
stallments, the way they buy SEWN!
machines am sil right, but they hav,
got to stop him up With oakum and tai
before he will ever hold water again"
Good gracious, you have no: had 4
night with the minister, have you? Well
l have said all the time, and stick Il
II, that Won would commit q crime vet
and 60 70 state prison. What was the
fuss about" And the grocery nan lait
the Ratchet out of the boys reach, fol
fear he would get excited and kill him
self.
20, it want no fuss. 1t was in the
way of business. You see the liver,
man that was working for promotec
me. He let me drive horse to hau
sawdust for bedding, first, and vher
be found was real careful he let me
drive an express wagon to haul trunks
Day before yesterday, / think it wal
yes, was in bed all day YESTERDAY
day before yesterday there Was q tuner
al, and our stable furnished the outfit
IL was only common eleven dollar
funeral, so they let me go to drive the
horse for the minister-you know, the
buggy that goes ahead of the hearse
They gave me an old horse that is &c
years old, that has not been of q walk
since nine years ago, and they told me
to give him q loose rein and be would
go all right It's the same old horse
that used to pace 50 fast on the avenue
years ago, but didn't know it. Well
/ want to blame. Just let him walk
along as though he was hauling Raw
dust, and gave him loose rein. When
We got of of the pavement the fellow
that drives the hearse, he was in a
hurry, cause his folks were going ia
have duck for dinner, and he wanted to
get back, so be kept driving alongside
of my buggy, and telling me to hurry
up. l wouldn't do it, cause the livery
man told me to walk the horse. Then
the minister, he got nervous, and said
he didn't know as there was any use of
going so slow, because he wanted ia
get back in time to get his lunch and
60 to the minister's meeting in the
afternoon, but i told him We would
all get to the cemetery soon enough il
We took it cool, and as for me wasn't
in no sweat. Then one of the drivers
that was driving the mourners hs came
up and said he had to get back in time
to run a wedding down to the one
O'Clock train, and for me to pull out q
little. ! have seen enough Of disobey.
ing orders, and l told him a funeral 10
the hand WAS worth two weddings in
the bush, and as far as was concerned
the funeral was going to be conducted
in a decorons manner, il We didn't get
back till the next day. Well, the min.
lister said, in his regular Sunday School
way, My little man, let me take hold OF
the lines and like a darn fool l gave
them to him. He slapped the old hors e
on the crupper with the lines, and then
jerked up, and the old boss stuck up his
off ear, and then the hearss driver told
the minister to pull hard and saw on
the bit little. and the old horse would
wake up. The hearse driver used ia
drive the old PAGER on the track, and
he knew what he wanted. The minister
took off his black kid gloves and put his
umbrella down between rs, and pulled
his hat down tight on his head, and be.
gan to pull and saw at the bit. The old
cripple began to move along sort OF
sideways. like hog going to war
and the minister pulled some
more, and the hearse driver who
was right behind, he said, 80 YOU
could hear him clear to Wauke-
sha, 'Ye-e-up,' and the old horse kept
going faster, then the minister thought
the procession was getting too quick
and he pulled harder and yelled Whoa,
and that made the old horse worse, and
looked through the little window in the
buggy top at the back, and the hearse
was two blocks behind, and the driver
he was laughing. and the minister be
got pale and said, Ny little man,
guess you had better drive and said
Not much, Mary Ann; you wouldn't lei
me run this funeral the way | wanted
to, and now you can boss it il you will
let me get OUT but there was q street
car ahead, and all of sudden there was
An earthquake, and when l came to
there were about six hundred people
pouring water down my neck, and the
hearse was hitched to the fence, and
the hearse driver was asking If my leg
was broke, and the policeman was fan
ming the minister with a plug hat that
looked as though il had been struck BY
a pile iriver, and some people were
hauling our buggy into the gutter, and
some men were trying to take the old
PAGER out of the windows of the street
car, and then ! guess l tainted away
again. o, il was worse than telescopinQ
train loaded with cattle"
well, | swan" said the grocery man,
rs he put some eggs in a funnel shaped
brown paper for a servant girl. "What
did the minister say when he come to ?''
Say! What could he cay? He just
yelled whoa and kept saving with his
hands, as though he was driving.
heard the policeman was going 10 pull
him for fast driving till he found it was
an accident. They told me, when they
carried me home in hack, that it was
g wonder everybody was not killed, and
when got home pa was going to sass
me, until the hearse driver told him it
vas the minister to blame. l want TO
find ont il they got the minister's nm
brella back. The last I zee Of il the
umbrella was running MP his trousers
leg, and the point came cut by the
small Of his back. Bnt am all right,
only my shoulder sprained, and my
legs bruised, and my eye black. I will
be all right and shall go to work to-
morrow, cause the livery man says ]
was the only one in the crowd that had
any sense. understand the minister
il going TO take vacation on account
of his liver and nervous prostratiou.
would il was him. / never saw a man
that had nervous prostitution any more
than he did when they fished him out
OF the barbed wire fence after We struck
the street car. But that settles the min
lister business with me. don't drive no
more preachers. What want 10 quiet
party that wants to 90 on q walk, and
the bad boy got up and hoped on one
foot towards his crufches, fllinQ his pis-
tf,l v,oS>kox nth Sxro os h. hr,kst,lo1 alo-