Connecticut western news., 1883-04-04
ADVENTURES OF A RAZOR,

l, razor of the finest steel, am about to speak and prove to the world that razors can tell stories worth listening to as well as men. My earliest recollec. tlons carry me back to the time when ornamented with my presence the in- terlor of a showcase in the shop of cutlery dealer of the little town of Ro- deg in the south of France. I know only so much of my genealogy as I was able to gather from my owner, when he boasted of my good qualities in order to promote my sale. In the most eulogis- tic terms he affirmed that I had been made in the celebrated manufactory of Langres, of an exceeding fine and pure steel, and that rivaled in keenness of edge the famous blades of Toledo. All these fatteries rendered me ambitious. Then l was afraid might be purchased by some peasant who, after having made me slave to his rough chin during his life, would leave me to rust in the bot tom of an old chest. I possessed, on the'other hand, lively desire to travel and to see the world, and had no taste at all for the quiet and monotonous life of rustic cottage.
 One day, while meditating on my fu- ture, was aroused from my reverie by the entrance into the shop of man ac- eompanied by lad. They asked per mission to examine me, found me to their liking, and bought me. It was not until the morrow that learned who my new master was. What luck What happiness I belonged to future capillary artist. My young master was very anxious to try me, and begin his apprenticeship, but was unable to find any bearded subject who possessed cour- age enough to serve as his model. Fi- nally, after a host of persuasive and reassuring arguments, his father con- sented to be the victim of his first at tempt.
 still retain in my razor-edged memory the touching counsels that he gave to his son at the moment when the young novice, holding me with the tips of his inexperi- enced fingers, prepared to begin opera tions.
 "Take care! Go easy! Don't hurt me! And above all don't forget that l have been good father to you"
 'sBut, father, don't be afraid You talk as if you were going to die"
 ''My dear boy" replied the father "when see you brandish that sharp in strument over my head I am reminded in spite of myself, of the sword of Damo cles."
 Thanks to the watchfulness and tn, careful advice of the chief of the estab hshment, the operation was finished without any tragical accident.
 Being of waggish and restless dispo sition, my young master, after he becam more expert in managing me, took live ly pleasure in playing tricks upon tn customers who fell into his hands. Some times he used the back of my blade t shave young fellows whose faces were a yet ornamented with nothing more thal down, and he was greatly tickled becaus they did not perceive the imposture When by chance he caused me to mak too profound incisions in the epidermi of some cross customer, he hastened t put the only mirror in the shop out C sight, in order to prevent him from sec ing the havoc that he had made me con init.
 My days passed away in the mos agreeable manner, and would probabl have enjoyed for long time this delight ful existence had not the young hail dresser taken it into his head to fall love. As it is perfectly we'll known everybody that love is madness, thu every sort of inconsistency pertains to and that the region of the absurd is i Kingdom, no one will be surprised learn that he delivered himself of piece of folly which resulted in his b. ing obliged to quit the country. Hel is the story: Every day, charmir young girl, whose father was noblems