Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1883-02-22
HIS PA JOKES HIM.

came Ia and began to peel a rutaba-
ga, and his upper lip hung down over
his teeth, and was covered with
something that looked like ehosmsk'
er's wax. "You look as though you
had been digging pOtotoss with you'
nose"
go, that's some Of pas darn smart,
ness. asked him If no knew Of
anything that would make "a boys
moustache grow, and he told me the
best thing ho ever tried was tar, and
for me 10 rub il on thick when
went to bed, and wash it of in the
morning. / put it on lsst night
and by gosh can't wash it of. Pa
told me all / had to do was to use 6
securing BRICK, and it would come
off, and ] used the brick, and it took
the skin OF, does my lip look very
bad"
The groceryman told him it waa
the worst looking lip he ever saw,
but he could cure it by rubbing q
little cayenne pepper in the tar. &c
said the tar would neutralize the
pepper, and the pepper would loosen
the tar, and act as = cooling lotion
to the lacerated lip. The boy went
to can of pepper behind the count
err, and stuck his finger in and rubbed
O lot of it on his lip, and then his
HAIR began to raise, and he began so
cry, and rushed to the water-pail and
ran his face into the water TO wash
off the pepper. The grocery man
laughed, and when the boy had
got the pepper washed of, and had
resumed his rutabaga he said;
THAT seals your fate. No man
ever trifles with the feelings of the
bold buccannsr of the Spanish main,
without living to rue it. viii lay
for you, old man, and dent you for
get it. Pa thought be was sm.rt
when he got me to put tai on my lip,
to bring my musteche out, snd to
day be lays on bed Of pain, and
tomorrow your turn will come.
You viii! regret that you did not
ges down on your knees and beg my
pardon. You will be sorry you did
not prescribe cold cream for nay
bruised lip, instead of cayenne pep
per. Beware, you base twelve
ounce-to-thepound huckster, you
girnlet-eyed seller of dog saussge,
you sarded :ugar ediot, you small
potsto-thrcs.-card--monso--sieight-of-
hand-Eotten-egg fepi, you villain
that sells smoked sturgeon and dog
fish FOR smoked halibu:. The ayen-
ger is On your track"
"Look here, young man. don't you
threaten rae, or I will take you by the
ear and walk you through green
fields, and besides still waters, to the
front door, and kick your pistol
pocket clear around SO you can wear
it for q watch pocket in your vest.
No boy can brighten me, BY criaaa.
But tell nae, how did you get syon
with your pap
Well, give me glas. of cider
and we viii be friends, and will
tell you. Thanks! Gosh, but that
cider is made out OF mouldy dried
epplss and sewer water" and he
took e handful oE layer raieins off
the top Of box to take tho taste
out @: his mouth, and while the gro
ger charged peek of rutabagas, a
gallon OF cider and two pounds of
raisns to the boys pa, tho boy pro-
cosasl. ''Yoa see pa likes a joke
the best OF any man you ever saw,
If it is on somebody eloe, but he kicks
like steer when it is on him. I
asked A.n this morning if it wouldd I
be good joke sc put some soft
soap on the front step, so the letter
carrier would slip up and spill hun.
self, and pa said it wouId be elegant
Pa is . democrat, and he tniuks that
anything that will make il unpleas-
ant for republican oaice-holderz, is
Legitimate, and he encouraged me to
paralyze the letter-carrier. The
is as old man az pa, !
and ] didu't want to humi!iate him,
but ] just wanted pa to give his con
sent, so 10 couldn't kick if he got
caught in his own trap. You see?
We'll, this morning tho minister and |
two OF tho descons called on pa, TO
have a talk with him about hts act
ions in church on two or three oc-
c.sions, when 10 pulled out The pack