Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-07-19
Wrestling with a Carpet.

and able writer's OF the age have been
directed TO showing up the horrible suf-
fering man endures putting up stoves,
fitting stOve-pipe, and other delightful
and refreshing household duties, but the
grand labor which devOlves upon many
men about this time Of the year, Of put.
ting down carpet has not received the
attention it deserves. Lyon see man
on the street at this season, with weary,
sad. detected look, on his face, his back
bent forward and weak, his..thumbs and
fingers wrapped up In rags saturated in
arnicav and who walks with an uncertain
limphg halt, like knee sprung horse,
it is pretty safe to believe that he has
just been through the ANNUAL free-foE- all
wrestling match with carpet. Just at
this TIME this country is fairly swarmlng
with unfortunate men, who have been
down on their knees for the first time in
year, and who swOre more than they
can repent Of in years time. There is
probably no other household duty that
devolves upon man that hes SO heartily
despises as that of tying his legs up in
dOnble-bOw knott humping up in little
wad over q carpet, and striving between
gasps for breath and muttered impre.
cations to hit q little insignificant
tao K In the corner OF the room. The
tack persists in stAhding on its head just
st the time when the man plies the ham,
mer with freHzied effort, and he stops
moment 10 let about four gallOns Of
persPiratiOn soak out of him. It Is
worth double the price of admission to
watch a man put down q carpet, and
men who are not troubled with such
labOriOus and heart-rending duties have
been known to go more miles to see
man attempt to ''dOwn" q rebellious
carpet than they would to see the big
gest prize fight that ever was. From the
time the victim begins to think about his
prospective task he is mad. and he grows
madden, until the grand tableau that
usually takes place about the time the
task is half finished, and putting IKE q
whale, and swearing at every jump, he
goes down town and hires man to come
up and tackle the carpet. But he usually
cOmmehces By taking the carpet ia
roll and throwing it down in the center
& the room, where he stands and glares
ut it and swears he will have it down in
fifteen minutes at the out side. be drags
a corner of the carpet up into corner
Of the room, and puts in the first tack
''iust as easy" and he keeps on along
one side Of the room, driving in 4 tack,
pounding the ''mOp- boards, ''and knock
ing his thumb and fingers at every other
rap. Then he gets madden. He pro-
ceeds to stand or sit on the very part
Of the carpet that he wants to stretch
up to the side Of the room, and he pants
like locomotive, aud wears off some
more skin from his hands. his knees
gets sorer every minute, ge gets crick
the back and he perspires like a lin
water cooler on a hot summ8 day.
About the time he is so mad that it seems
as though he would burst, and his boots
are full OF psrspiratiOu, and he makes
last cohvGisive effort to lift the edge of
the carpet up that he is standing on and
hold it in place With his teeth, and with
his head wedged against the wall he
strikes wildly at where he suppOses the
tack to be, and mashes his thumb hatter
than the proceedings OF the star route
trial, he jumps up with q yell and swears
that is the last time he will ever touch
carpet, and goes and hires some one to
do it, just as he always has done before.
There are thousands of men in this COun-
try who never will know what It is to
labor with carpet and stand on their
heads in hot rOOn for four hours at .
time, but there is very large class Of
deserving men who arecompelled to suf-
fer at the hands of the treacherous car
pet, and they are worthy the warsnest
sympathy of their more fortunate fellow
men, Peck's Sun.
AH;lkoo~ol,n NSAs,,s. A. Aho olrs, - -,