The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-03-10
His Pa Goes Skating.

| '''' Si'No ypui pa UP " NHo iOllti
skating rink" asked the grocery man.
"Oh, everything broke him up said the
bad boy. ale is split up so ma buttons
the top of his pants TO his collar button,
like bicycle rider. Well, he bad no bust.
ness to tell me ana my ohum that he used
to be the best skater in North America
when he was boy. He said he skated
once from Albany TO New York in an hour
aud eighty minutes.
Me and my chum thought If pa was
such terror on skates we would get him
to put on pair OF roller skates and enter
him as the great unknown and clean out
the whole gang. We told pa that he must
remember that roller skates were different
from ice skates, and that maybe he couldn't
skate on them; but he said it dldnt make
any difference what they were SO long as
they we're skates,and he.wouid jusl 'paralyze
the whole crowd
$50 we got pain OF biz roller skates tor
| him, and while we were stamping them on
pa he looked at the skaters glide around on
the smooth, waXed floor just as though they
were creased Then pa looked at the
skates on his feet, after they were fastened,
sort OF iorlorn like, the way horse-thief
does when they put shackes on his legs
and told him if he was afraid he couldn't
skate with them we would take them off /,
but he said he cOuld beat anybody there or
bust suspender. Then we straighteued
pa up and pointed him toward the middle
OF the room, and he Said 'leggo,' and we
Just gave him a little push to start him and
he begun 10 60.
well, by gosh, you'd died to have seen
pa try to stop. You see, you can't stick in
your heel and stop like you can on ice
skates, and pa soon found that out, and he
began TO turn sideways, and then he threw
his arms and walked on his heels, and he
lost ms hat, aed his eyes began to stick out.
cause he was going right towards an iron
post, one arm caught the post and he cir
cled around 1t a few times, and then he be-
gan tc iall, and sir, he kept falling all
across the room, and everybody got
out oil the way except girl,
and pa grabbed her by the po.onaise
like drowning mans grabs ut q straw,
though there wasn't any straws in her no.
lonaise rs know of, hut pa Just pulled her
along as though she was done up in u shawl.
strap, and his feet went out from under
nm, and he struck on his shoulders and
Kept agoing, with the girl dragging along
IKE bundle OF clothes. lfpa had another
PAIR OF roller skates on his shoulders, and
casters on his ears, ho could have slid along
any better.
PA is Il short, big man, and as he was
rolling along on his back, he looked like
sofa with casters on being pushed across a
room by GIL. Finally pa came to the
wall aud had to stop, and the girl fell right
across MN with her roller skates in mis-
neck, and slSb called him an old brute, and
told him lfiSSlSdp't let 20 of her polonaise
che would murder him. Just then my
chtlm and me got there and we amputated
pa from the girl and lifted him up, and |
told him Tor Heaven sake to let us take OIL
the skates, cause he couldn't skate any
more than COW, and pa was mad and said
for us to let him alone, and he could skate
all right, and we let 60 aud he struck out
again.
well, sir, was ashamed. An old man
like pa ought to know better than to try
and be boy. This last time pa said he
was going 10 spread himself and if am
any Judge of big spread he did spread
himself. Somehow the skates got turned
around sideways on his feet and his feet
got to going in different directions, and pas
were getting so far apart that was afraid
would have two pas half the size, with one
leg apiece tried TO get him to take up a
collection of his legs, and get them both in
the same ward, but his arms flew around
and one hit me on the nose, amt thought
It he wanted to strike the best friend he had
he could run his own legs hisself When
he began to separate | could hear the bones
crack, but maybe it was his pants, but any,
way he came down on the floor like one of
those fellows in circus, who spreads him.
self, and he Kept going, and finally he sur.
rounded al iron post with his legs and
stopped, and he looked pale, and the pro.
prietor OF the rink told pa if he wanted TO
give a lying trapeze performance he would
have to go to the gymnasium, and he could
not skate on his shouldersany more, cause
other skaters were afraid of him.
Then pa said he would kick the liver
out of the proprietor q the rink, and he
got up and stead'ed himself, and then tried
10 kick the man, but his heels went up
to wonct, and pa turned back somersault
guess. II knocked the breath out of him,
for he didn't speak for few minutes, and
then he wanted TO 70 home, and we put
him In street car and he laid down on tho
hay and rode home.
"Oh, the work we mad to get pas clothes
oil. He had cricks in his back, and every
where, and ma was away to one of the
neighbors, to look at the presents; and |
had To put liniment on pa, and made a
mistake and got bottle OF furniture polish,
and put 1t on pa and rubbed it in and
when ma came home pa smelt like coffin
at chaiity funeral, aud ma said there was
no way of getting the varnish OIL pa til he
wore 1t off. Pa saws holidays are a con.
demned nuisance anyway. lie will have
to stay in the house all this week, '-TPeck's
Sun.