davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-10-19

Il. Hawkins. Louisville, says III have
used Browns Iron Bitters and consider ID
the best remedy for impure blood and loss
Of appetite"
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-10-19
PnEsi pnEsi pnEsi

DR.. DemfaO's Ne,o Discovery for
Piles IA Adiea change nom the old remedies
heretofore In use. The Discovery IL the result Of
year. Of pa tient scientific study and Investigation
into ns character Of this painful disease To con-
vince you Of It's great merit, call on Penny A Nc
Alister, Stanford, or W. NJ. Weber, Mt Vernon,
and get . sample box free Of charge.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-10-19

Louis s. Watts, Of Danville. Ind, ex-sherin Of
Hendricks county, says he was given up by his
family physician to die with consumption, but
Browns Expectorant cured him. For sale BY Pen
ny a MeAlsisr, stanford, and W. NJ Weber, Mt.
Varnon
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-10-19

word TO the wise Is sufheient Never neglect
cough when hiy-eent bottle Of Browns Expee-
torant will cure you. For sale By Penny 4heAistsr,
stanford, and W. N. Weber, MI Vernon.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-11-02
MRS. JONES' MISTAKE.

Maria" said Mr.. Jones, when his
wife told him she was going out
riding that afternoon. Its going to
be hot and Ill send up u fan and a
Japanese parasol. You put the fan
in the martingale and spread it open,
and fastep the parasol in loop be
hind the ear
went that be f1y." said Mrs. Jones;
"where did you see them?"
"At the seashore." snorted Jones,
''they are the toniest things out"
After dinner the package came.
Mrs. Joues opened it and found q
gay paper fan and paper parasol.
Bridget" asked Mrs. Jones, what
is martingale?"
"Shure it's girth of some Sort"
answered Bridget shortly.
"Oh, n belt. Why, of course it is.
I am to spread the fan in my belt and
put the parasol up and fasten it to
my head. Jeptha said SO, the sweet
thing"
So Mrs. Jones drove old Tom-in
the phaeton up one avenue and down
another, and was the observed of all
observers. She had fastened the
handle of the palasol into her bonnet
strings. and as it was not very large
it did not obstruct the view, ard
people stared as much as they did ut
Jumbo. She felt that she was set
ting the style, and was more than
happy. But when she got home
Jones WAS awaiting her, the maddest
man in town.
"You ought to be pasted on tea
chest or used as wall decoration"
he shrieked. Don't you know the
difference between q horse and a
donkey?"
II ought to-" said Mrs. Jones,
meekly.
"Yes, yon ought to, but you don't.
There yOu have gone out on the
avenue with y horse. umbrella and
fan. Why didn't you wear the rest
of the harness? 1 tell you what it
is, Maria, if you go on this way you'll
get your name in the papers; see if
you don't"
But the next day all of Mrs. Jones
lady friends called to ask her where
she got that perfectly lovely idea of
the fan and parasol, and if the arti-
cles could be purchased in the city.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-11-02
HINTS ABOUT READING.

Reading book after book In unin-
terrupted succession is a habit of
mary people who delude themselves
with the idea that they are acquiring
stores of knowledge. We are tempt
ed to say that it would be better to
read no book at all. The habit we
speak of is pernicious, and if perse.
vered in, fatal to the intellectual fac
ulties.
Ono might as we'll eat all the time
and leave no period for digestion.
There is certain method about read
ing protitably, The index of the
book, if it have one, should be
mastered Before attacking the book.
test yourself as the subject treated,
and settle ill your own mind in what
order and fashion you would handle
the theme. Then 60 over the work
and reduce its contents mentally to
the leading thoughts. propositions or
facts which give it any value. This
is not laborious matter. nor is il n
bore; it does not lessen the pleasure
of reading and it greatly enhances
the profit. Professional men know
that sufficient treatises must be read
in this way, and literary men who
have any art in their calling pursue
the same course. The most slovenly
habits Of reading are in the line of
fiction. This is decidedly unfair,
since many of the most brilliant in
tellects of the age seek an audience
through this channel.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-11-02

i Fiery 'i'y-The Great Astronomical
EVeht of the Comin; Year Will Stay
With us Il Iear or More.


Local scientists are already turn
ing Their attention to the wonderfn
comet which is booming along
through space il the general direc
ton OF the earth. but which will no,
revea! It's GorSe0usness to the max &c
eye for several months to come
When 1t does come it will stay yea,
or more, and sill I've grand event in
astronomy. Concerning tho fiery
L'auty, Tie following, taken from the
Albany Argus, which seems to have
gotten into dispute with itself on
points OF statistics, is very inter
estirg:
The most recent calculations made
at the Dudley observatory relative to
the orbit OF the new comet result II
figures quite different from those re-
ported III our issne Of Sunday last.
Yet for the short period embraced by
the time since discovery, the two cal
culations place the comet in very
nearly the same apparent positions
rs seen from the earth About once
III hiteen or twenty years a comet
comes along, which, like this, gives
the computers a great deal of trouble.
1t now appears probable, say the
astronomers Of Dudley observatory.
that the comet is from three to four
times at far from both the earth and
the sun as the sun is from lis. This
distance is almost unprecedented at
discovery. In fact no case is remem-
bered in which this distance WAS
nearly S" great. 1t appears probable
that the comet will not come to peri
helIon until about June Ist of next
year, and that it will remain in tele
scopic view for year or more. The
plane of its orbit seems to be nearly
perpendicular to that of the earth's
course about the sun. The perihe
lion point is indicated by the calcula-
tIons to be at "a distance from the sun
not much greater than the earth's
average distance.
For at least IA week or ten DAYS to
cCme, all calculations relative to the
true course of this seemingly yery
erratic body must be regarded as
quite approximate. The slightest
variation in the observed places of a
body SO distant as this one probably
is. throws the resulting elements of
the orbit way of. The case might
be veil illustrated by the results of
shooting at mark 200 yards off with
aplstol having barrel less than an
inch long-supposing it would carry
SO far. With q reasonably good
marksman the balls would all take
about the same course for the first
few feet after leaving the barrel, but
the subsequent course would be a
matter of conjecture. Yet it would
be easier to hit an eight inch bulls
eye at zoo yards with a pistol whose
barrel is one inch. long, than it now is
to say from observation and calcula-
ton where the Brooks comet will be
(within 10000 miles) at the end of
three months. Give us barrel three
inches leng and we will give you n
dead center, say the astronomers of
the observatory.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-11-02

Ii looks NJ though Captsin n
Rho 'es. the man whe was going 10
swim Niagara by the aid of dest Of
boats and deck load of srmos, hes
taken wntsr. But not st Niagars,
oh MOI
"Mercyr' exclaimed Mrs. r., = che
caught sieht Of the csmeioupasa,
lust look nj that beast what Q long
neckr' Yes" replied FoGg. 'yks
most remarkable ease of soas throat
] ever saw"
A Beaufort bachelor 40 greatly "a.
mired tho way In which hia housp-
x~pcr prepared hi. cofIss thai hs
proposed and was accepted. This 10
u pointer for woman with sSub.tion
IN that direction.
Wore you In the late wari" sslstl
veteran ~ u badly -sleuoralissd cit
izcn who came hol,bling down tbs
street On ~ crutch II don't know
how late you meaD," was the sad re-
ply "she gave mc ihi. one last night
before tea"
Several brilliant int~llects ere nov
engaged Ia invsnting new psmes Coz
old colors Ia ladies' dre~s materials
Tor next season, One nnn. after
working sixteen hours day for tive
weeks, has succeeded In evolving ns~
names Tor two tints via, "topss's
nore" and Kicked dog" Tho lattss
IL yeller. of course
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-11-02
TEL CID BlRCHEN SWITCH.

I i'"N '''ar p" NY i'-'r' are the school days o
ciiiunuud.
/ Nic:s -" cts, o.. contr:t:on nv Wild s. III
III, orch -. ,nhtcd. our lark, in ;h,
wildwood.
/ lhc -'hppl house aud grove where III,
hirch switches grew:
/ lt' r'W "f mCd pes wl.h tc. marks i'm
Iri1i,-i.
/ i,oa they rush to l.! cht Il .rd i..eino~y'.
c3l.
I l.r "a cri,r ,rlll VIII dr"u.his neve
~lint,i.
/ 'uG ;Lc switch that hang high on the 81.
-,huU. Ia t., wall.
! How he youngsters assembled III terror OF
trcmhicd.
J ti:at hide cutting switch came down from
the wall.
/ hat kno,ty ola switch in iry mind is abid
ing.
| For oft, when returned with some wild ilu
ant band.
! received. with that switch, Il most nlerci
less hiding
! lie toughest and sorest bcy-nature coult
stand.
Unlike the old bucket no moss was .dher
No white pebbled bottom WIS touched When
il fell.
No pure sense of coolness ere marked its
-. appearing. -.......
But marked each descent with Jump and
vell'
nh. viewed ii with loa,hing, form under
clothing
Broke The force of those blows as SO swiftly
they fell.
| remember. with .remblin :, one grim lit
lie madam
Who taugh. mo the ru,limen.s, pot hooks
md all.
AID " no thought TO expel all the sin left by
rs thrasiling it out with that switch on the
wall;
I've been horsod DER the knees of that
maiden so human,
Nth my back to the foe and my face TO the
iloor,
And thou sht how fools prate of the soft
touch Of woman,
For each touch drew II blister. each stroke
woke roar,
In that day of tough switches and very thin
hreeches.
When correction was pressed both behind
ard before.
survived all the blows, and married
the daughter
Of that muscular school-marn whose blows
fell like rain:
Now her roguish grandchildren defy her
with laughter:
Their tricks she approves-m she pun
ished with pain,
And though l remember of no interce0inp
When she put in the licks with switch or 4
rule,
II grandchld spank there's grand
mother pleading
'ris the granny who whaled Inc of old i'll
the schLol,
With her toughest of switches, her sharpest
of switches,
That startled rogue like the kick of
mule.
How we boast of advance in the secrets of
learning,
How To cram the young heads we take in
finite pains.
And forgot inward pangs yield 10 bistels
and burning,
That the switch hath oft quickened both
conscience and brains,
To four minor senses we're often appealing
Each one to our aid, in correction We call,
But tLat old bottom sense, the keen sense of
feeling,
No longer the rogue doth persuade or ap-
pail.
Yet to quiet confusion, or force conclu-
sion,
There's n mission to-day tor that switch
from the WALL
-TPalmer Mass Journal.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-11-02
A LITTLE WOMAN.

She was very little woman, not
more than four years old, and l an
afraid she was running away
Perhaps l ought not to say lun
ming; for she walked gravely and
deliberately along the street, looking
about her with an observant air. She
had on q brown stuff dress, and over
her head she had thrown an apron OF
blue and white check in place of a
bonnet The apron was so large. and
the little woman so small. that while
the chubby hand held it snugly un-
der her round chin. one corner
trailed on the ground behind her.
The apron served as a shawl for a
rag doll with no features to speak of,
whose head. with a ghastly wound on
top, peeped out under tho little
mothers arm. A great many peo
pie were coming and going, but the
little woman did not notice them.
She was singing to herself and the
DOLL
'"ris his hand that leadeth me-"
She only knew this one line, 80 sic
sang it over and over as she went on,
walking close to the fences, and peep
ing into yards where flowers We're
growing, and into easements where
she had glimpses of tables covered
with red cloths, and shining castors
towering in the middle like revolving
batteries. She was directly in the
wake of fat woman, who turned the
stream OF travel one side, and left a
quiet little path for her small fol-
lower
Presently the little woman stopped.
She had come to a yard filled with
trees and flowers, around an old
fashioned brick house. The flowers
were old fashioned, too, but they
were all Of the sweetest, and over
them the cherry boughs were like one
great white bouquet. The little wom-
an forgot to hold the apron under
her chin. and it slid down to the side
walk. She took her doll from under
her arm. and held her close to the
fence that she might see, too, and
smell the blossoms, and hear the fine
clear piping Of tie bees at work
among them. There was a wonder
ful bird flashing about the trees like
a great golden blossom. The bird
seemed always just about to launch
into song. but was SO busy he broke
off at the first syllable. A man came
across the lawn with a wheelbarrOw,
in which was a green shrub. He dug
a hole in the turf, and began to plant
the bush; but be saw the eager little
face. and the dolly. with her wooden
brains oozing out henind. He nodded
good -naturedly.
Where are you going, sis?"
Anywhere" said the little woman.
What are you looking att"
Gods flowers" was the grave an
swer.
The man laughed again, and
pushed up his hat off his forehead
"Them's the governors flowers
Would you like some?"
The little woman only nodded, but
her eyes grew large and rourd with
wonder and expectancy, as the man
broke white bough from the cherry
tree, and a purple spike of hyacintE
bells. He then put them in hel
hand. saying
Now run home, or that there
young lady will be took up by the
police; looks like she'd had row."
The little woman had neither eye.
nor ears for anything but the flowers
The man went back to his work, an(
she went slowly on. One block, tw'
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-11-02
COOL IMPUDENCE

boarded railway train of delibpr
ate tendencies. L; WAS what ia.
western people call a mix" train
made up of a long string of freigh,
cars and a battered passenger coach
Long before the time CT starting the
passengers crowded into the coach
obviously with view of getting :;
seat while such a possibility was left
open to the general public. We
rolled along more like a countrv
wagon than railway train. One
facetious old gentleman asked the
conductor il he could keep the right
OF way, and once, when the car
Jolted tremendously. the old geptle-
man declared that the railroad peo-
,ple would be arrested for jumping
Their land grant. just in front Of
me sat an old man, whom 1 took to
Ebe minister of the now almost ex-
ftlnct type. His family and several
neiShbors had accompanied him to
4 the station in wagon drawn bv a
kyoke of steers, and although the diff
! .erencein speed between the wagon
could not have been great, yet he
seemed uneasy at his impetuous flight.
Turning to me, he said: Don't it
look to you like this things goin'
tritle peart for safety?'
assured him that we were not
making more than nine miles per
hour, and that he need have no fears.
But won't she slip up when there's
20 much sleet an snow on the track?'
Here the facetious old gentleman
who had joked the conductor re-
marked that if the train would onlv
slip forward the snow might be con
sidered blessing.
l took out "A Princess of Thule"
and began to read. l was soon at
'Lewes," listening to Sbiela's High
land songs and tho squealIng of old
Johns pipes l could see the grizzly
beard on the face of the old King Of
Borva, and could almost hear the
soft words of the ardent Lavender
and the sententious warning of In
gram.
Would you mind lettin' me see
that book? 2" he asked.
. l handed him the volume. ard
turning around he began to skip
about among its pages. Finally he
found u place that seemed to claim
his attention. l waited patiently for
the return of the book, but with one
knee propped against the seat in
front of him, he sat deeply Interested
He was such an old and venerable
looking man that did not feel dis
posed to request the Volumes return,
and awaited his pleasure. Hours
passed, and still he held the book on
his knee. went back, stood on the
rear platform and smoked a cigar.
Returning, l found the old man hold
ing the book with the same exhibi-
tion of profound interest. Evening
came, and the dingy lamps were
lighted. 1 was vexed All day l had
been cheated out of a pleasure to
which / had looked forward. could
stand it no longer Tapping the old
man on the shoulder, / said:
Excuse me, Sir, are you done with
my bookT
He did not reply. 1 arose and
confronted him. He was sound
asleep. touched him and he awoke
with start.
Here's your book, Mister. I've
been asleep ever since 1 took holt
it. an ef you'd wanted it. you mout'er
had it sooner. Now, wife. she can
read all day an spank the children
without changin' countenance, but
when l git holt of a book, there's
nothin' in the community that can
keep me from dozin'."
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-11-02
HOW HE STRETCHED HIMSELF.

Now that Tom Thumb is gone old
anecdotes are of course expected.
OLe which is not we'll known here is
told in France of q country notary
who made a journey of three hun
dred miles'expressly to see the little
man. Arriving by mischance too
late for the last public exhibition,
they told the notary at the place of
exhibition that he had some chance
of seeing Tom Thumb at the hotel
whence the Barnum company were
soon to depart. He came, however,
even there too late, and being shown
Tom Thumbs former apartment, he
found in the sitting room later ar
rival in possession. Unaware, of
course, of the evanishment of the
former tenant, or of the installation
of the later one. he knocked at the
door, "Enterw responded stento-
rian voice. Monsieur, l should like
to see Tom Thumb 81 am he.
monsieur" The notary is nonplussed,
for the man who addresses him is a
giant of six feet two, with a formi-
dable -mustache. Mon Dieu, mon
sieur!~' l beg pardon. but they told
me that you were of a statue--of a
statue quite lilliputian" ''1n public,
yes, monsieur; but when l am alone
l take my ease little, you know. y
'Oh, exactly. monsieur, l understand
Oh, certainly. Good morning, mon
sieur.'' The notary goes away in
meditation.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-11-02
IT WASN'T A MASH.

From Letter. Soon after we
left Meridian, on the way across 70
Vicksburg. solemn looking old chan
came into the smoker and groaneci
and sighed and took on like a man
terribly distressed, and when We
asked him where he seemed 10 feel
it the worst, he replied:
"Gentlcmen, there in n powerful
good looking woman in the next car.
and she has fallen into the hands
OF human hyena"
MOI shouted three or four voices
at once.
"Yes, indeed. He's a wicked look.
ing wolf in sleeps clothing. II /
mistake not, he represents some
New England machinery house. He's
squeezing Of her hard, and a whis.
pering OF his love. and tho giddy
thing has fallen tight into the trap.
1 couldn't bear to SEQ il any longer.
and SO | came in herr. Gentlemen.
some OF you have daughtersr'
Yes, there was three II us who
had daughters ranging FROM 2 10 Z
years old, and We were honest enough
to admit it.
just think Of your daughters be-
ing kayjoled by a Pbilistiner' he
continued. Hes talking, and nat
tering, and promising. and shes
somebody's daughter. Gentlemen.
something ortei be didl"
We agreed. We all lounged in and
saw that she was n good looking.
happy-fa girl Of 20, and we re-.
turned and held an indignation
meeting. After a fine display OF
e!oquence and oratory il was unani.
mously agreed that il the masher
got OIL at jackson. where Wa were
to wait twenty minutes, the rood
old man should go in aud tell the
girl what was what. jackson was
finally reached. and sure enough the
human hyena got off and ran into
the hotel. He was not out Of sirht
when We all entered the car. and
the philantLropist took seat bsside
the girl and began:
My dear young lady. my heart is
sad-oh! so sad!-for you! You are
on the road 10 destrut tionr'
"W-what do you ineanr
II mean that the villain who left
you moment ago is seeking TO en.
snare you"
1.-The Villain
Yes, ma'am. the wolf in sbeep's
clothing-the hyena in human form
the scoundrel whose very look
proves the vileness Of his heart
warn you to beware OF him m you
would OF n serpent
why. he's-he's my hurbandr'
she shouted at the top IL her voice
AID the next instant she had heu
fingers playing through his venerable
locks and excavating channels down
his wrinkled cheeks.
All OF MS got away at last and
found hiding places III the baggag.
and mail cars all but the old man
When he managed to get clear Of th,
bride he slid off the car and took
bee-line up town, and though he me
several people while in sight Of u,
we couldn't see that he stopped :,
answer any questions.
In Georgia 1900 acres Of land hav,
entirely disappeared from the Ia,
books OF Putnam county and turnes
up on the books OF Green county
No such practical land grabbing hN
ever before been heard of.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-11-02

L got my spine broke II may bc nj
right, but they do things different u
the old country. you know"
IF | understand the kind OF
prodigai son you are" said the pro
ceryman, az ho sprinkled tho iloo
from a wash basin, preparatory /,
the semi annual sweeping out. "yo,
have got even with your pa beior,
tins, 10, his outrageous Treatment,
That Is, mind you, l don't sugges
anything for you to play ON him, bu
from what / know of you the accom-,
IS evencd up before now. Am
righta"
well. l should remark ANY Der
son who thinks | cannot resent sucI
an insult makes q mistake as To ia,
sort of prodigal son am. We had
company at dinner to day. and pa il
alway in his element when We have
company. He prides himself on his
carving We had roast Of beef,
and before it went on the tabl. tcok
the steel that pa shnrpens the knife
on, and made two holes right through
the roast, and tlen | took a rawhlde
whip that pa basted me with once.
cut 1t in two, and run pieces Of the
rawhide in the holes OF the beef. Pa
begin carving with n smile, and asked
the minister il he would have his
beef rare. or an outside piece. He
was bearing gently OH the carving
knife, when the knife struck the raw
hide and it wouldn't 70 airy further.
Ia smiled and said he guessed ho
had struck barbcd wire fence, and
he turned the roast around and cut
again, and he struck the rawbide.
The minister drnmmed with his fork
and spoke TO ma and said we had n
splendid meeting Wednesday night,
and ma said it was perfectly gorgeous,
and pa began to perspire and turn
red in the face, and he said some
words that would sound better in a
brewery, and he tried to gouge of
some meat, but it wouldn't come. and
the minister said. Brother, you seem
to be having monkey and parrot
time with that roast and that made
pa mad, and he said he could csrye
his own meat without any sky pilots
interference, and ma said, Why, pa,
You should not be impudent,' and pa
said he could whip the butcher that
sold him that piece Of work OK. and
he sent the beef out to the kitchen
and the company ate cold liver. The
girl set the meat in the ice chest, and
pretty soon l went down cellar, cause
l didn't like cold liver, and pulled cut
the rawhide. and had all the fatted
calf =! wanted, and / gave the rest 20
that lame dog you see me have here
spell ago. o. a boy can got enough
to eat if he has any originality about
him. think il pa would show a
christian spirit, and wear slippers
when he kicks me, l would do any.
thing 10. make it pleasant for him.
but when man wears out hunting
boots on his own dear little prodiuai,
l think the prodigal is apt TO get
hard. Don't you;"
The groceryman admitted that
perhaps the boy was right, and he
raised such dust sweeping out that
the boy coughed, took few peaches
off the top Of basket, and went ont
whistling, Home again. from for
elgn shore."-lPeck's Sun.