davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24
A SAMPLE THEOLOGICAL DISPUTE.

Why it is that theological discussions
cannot be conducted with due regard for
the properties of civilized life? Almost in.
variably the disputants employ bitterness
of expression which is very ungantleman-
ly to say the least Indeed the more
spiritual and abstract the subject, the
more sof worldly illnature do polemical
writers commonly import into its discus
sion.
As case in point it may be mentioned
that when in his eulogy upon the late
Benjamin FL. Hill, senator Ingalls, did not
appear altogether certain whether or no
the soul of the distinguished at the same
time as his physical life, the Rev DR.. Pat
ton, editor of the New York Baptist, made
haste to characterize his remarks as a
piece of pure impertinence. In order that
their might be no doubt as to what his
notion of pure impertinence was. the doc
tor mailed marked copy of his article to
the senator.
The latter of course replied, and in "a
manner more worthy of priestly inquisi-
Tor than Ii beral philosopher. He admits
that be has been somewhat in doubt re-
garding the existence of hell but mildly
remarks that If there is not place of eter
nal torture for such men as his clerical ant.
agopist, there ought to be. There are
onite number of hells; almost every theo-
Logan has a hell of his own which differs
either in the manner of getting there or
the extent and nature of torment from the
hell of his fellow theologian around the
corner Bat the hell the Kansas senator
had in mind was undoubtedly the old
fashioned hell, where fire and birthstone are
dealt out,with an unstinted hand, and the
poor victims Wrfthe with unspeakable tor
ture forever and ever. Inasmuch as Mr..
Pattou's offence consisted merely in charg
ing the senator with impertinehce, the
punishment, to the non theological mind
would seem to be just little severe
Coming too from a man who is engaged
in the veay act of rebuking uncharitable
ness IN others. Mr., Ingalls, remarks sound
rather queerly. 1t is rather startling to
contemplate the punishment that this
broadminded philosopher would be likely
to mete out to any one who had committed
a real crime against him-had robbed aim
of his pocket book or burned down his
house.
The doctor replied at length, but being
cast in softer mold than this opponent,
does not condemn him to hell fire off hand
but instead INDUCES in this gentle sarcasm
g In return for your cruel wish that may
be doomed to eternal punishment per
nit me to express the hope that you may
attain repentance unto life. and puttingd
a way all malice, evil speaking, bribery an
corrupt practices, finally be welcomed to
the glOrions rewards of the eternal here
after. >
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24

Bank burglars tools are generally of q
very superior order gathered with care
and piecemeal until the kit is made up. A
full kit of the best order is worth So 900
This may all go in the event of failure Of
job by disturbance, and generally does
go when a successful piece of work is &C
complished, as the booty is heavy enough
to carry away in itself, so that the tools
are left behind Mechanics of a superior
class exist in larger cities who make q
speciality of fashioning burglars tools. In
the absence of such mechanic the tools
are collected in parts, but as this is risky
way of obtaining them, it is avoided, #
posSihle
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24

An exchange paper states that compul-
sorry education, as far rs it has been enfor.
ced, seems to have decidedly beneficial
effect in checking the prevalence of crime
in New York city. During each of the
five years proceeding the enactment of the
compulsory education law, there were, on
the average, 1921 juvenile deIinquents
arrested For the last five years, or since
the enactment and enforcement of the law
although only twelve agents have been
employed to look after the truants among
100000 children, the average of annual
arrests have been only 868, and for the
last year III, showing constantly de
creasing ratio. Allowing for thh increase
of the city's population, meanwhile, the
decrease in juvenile crime is estimated at
thirty six per cent. These figures show
simply what has been done in taking chill
dren from the streets and putting them in
to schools. How much influence the en-
forcement of such law has IN saving chill
dTen from future crime, in shaping their
lives for good by putting them under
wholesome influences, thus laying the
foundations for an intelligent citizenship,
is, of course, inestimable We hope that
the Illinois Legislature will the people a
judicious law on this subject at the present
session.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24
AN ANSWER WANTED.

Can any ore bring US case of Kidney
or Liver Complaint that the Electric Bitters
will not speedily cure? We say that they
can not, as thousands of cases already per-
manently cured and and who are daily re
commenting Electric Bitters, will prove.
Bright's Disease, Diabetes, week Back or
any urinary complaint quickly cured. They
purify the blood, regulate the bowels. AMI
act directly on the diseased parts. Every
bottle guaranteed For sale at soc bot
tie by Hartz 81 Bahnsen.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24
Governor Psttison. of Pennsylvania is

Governor Psttison, of Pennsylvania, is
ostentatiously economical of his own mon
ey and of the States-in small things He
viii not patronize boot-black, but does
the work himself at the common box be-
side the janitor's stand in the public re
ception room in the State House =" He re
quires, says the Philadelphia Times, no
servant To keep his desk tidy or his room
in order. When he arrives at the office in
the morning about o'clock he puts his
coat and hat away himself, and then gets
his dust brush, looks around for dust and
brushes it away. Being strong armed. he
does not tire of moving heavy loads of
books or shifting the furniture of the
room. Hurrying out of his Office at 2
o'clock on the way to dinner, he is remind
ed by Clerk Wolff or the Reverend Private
Secretary that his coat-collsr is turned in
ward making hump on his neck or the
bottom of one leg of his trousers has
caught up above his bOotheel, What if
it is?' answers the Governor not bit
thankful for the information, and hasten
ing off without adjusting his garments.
He returns at o'clock stays till s, leaves
again and often comes back to lock him
self up with Cassidy, or Gordon, or both,
to ascertain how to prevent the Senate
from giving the Administration a knock
down in the morning.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24
The Tale of a Chicken-Bone.
BIZ EUGENE j. HALL.

He sat in the car on the seat ahead;
Her hair was waYy, and almost red;
Her voice had a dulcet tone;
Her face was lovely, her look was Dland;
She held in her pretty and slender hand
A sayOry chtcken-bone.
Her teeth were PEI feet and white as milk.
Her lashes long and as soft as silk,
Bean1f fef e ioisv wf nd oe f snone
With laugh, with gigee, and giriish pun
She nibbfed her chicken-hone.
She shook her head, and she tossed her chin;
She twisted her red tongue out an in;
She pouted her lips, so sweet
She tilted upward her pretty nose;
She showed the stripes on her brilliant hose,
And patted the floor with her feet.
Greasy and brown, on her finger-tips,
She brought the bone to her lovely lips,
With sly glance s1deward thrown
AT youth who looked at her while she lunch
Who sat and sighed while she munched and
munched
The meat from her chicken-bone.
Awkward and shy. of a rustic mold,
With scanty mustache of tiaxen gold,
He spoke in piping tone
He'd longing look and ianguid air:
He whispered low, with wistful stare.
Il wish rs a chicken-bone!
1 broadly smiled at the odd conceit-
A novel subject to cook and eat,
To MUNICH with a maiden's jaw;
To be spitted and done to royal brown,
To be nfpped, to be gnawed and then swallow
ed down,
Like corn in ''chickens craw"
He heaved couple of dismal signs,
With his very soul in his yearning eyes.
As she upward eazed at him,
With laugh and toss of her thoughtless
head;
What silly goose you are,.' she said
I've promised to marry JimP
o gay coquetta of the auburn hairI
@ yearning youth of the wistful stared
You will greet my gaze more.
There's many a love that is never told;
There are millions yet TO be sadly sold
BY the fiirts whom they adore
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24

Kits of tobyman's tools are kept on
hahd for hire. and a good collection can
be obtained in the centres of the business
for from 800 to $500. These tool renters
are generally tool makers also, but often
the fence has them on hand, and il is part
of the business of the old cracksmen to
keep them. Fifty per cent of the noted
burglars are practical smiths, and thorough
ly understand the temper and capacity of
their, own tools. Sometimes a gang, each
owning implements of various kinds, pool
their possessions. and thus make up full
kit The tool makers have specialties.
Some are famous for chisels. others for
punches and jimmies, and one maker made
national reputation for sledge of lead
and copper that entirely superseded that
formerly used of steel. because of the dull
almost noiseless, blow it strikes
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24

Mrs. Harriet Beechcr Stowe and
daughter were guests at recent ball at
Jacksonville Fla. She asked a newspaper
correspondent # an account of the ball
would be sent to Northern papers. The
reply was: Yes, and I shall say Mrs
Stowe was at the ball" She put up her
hands in mock plesantry and remarked
Sc What will the deacons say?"
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24

Two sistears by the name of Ely, ages
IS and IA, located a mining claim In the
Como district of Nevada several months
ago, and have christened it the Woodbine
and DaffodIl. They are sinking a shaft
by their own labor, and, with the happy
confidence of their sex, express implicit
faith in their enterprise.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24

A prompt way to ease asthmatic. wheel
ing. Use Hale's Honey of Horehound and
Tar.
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in one
minute.
A remedy for indigestion, consumption.
Dyspepsia, weakness, fever, ague, etc,
Coldens Liquid Beef Tonic
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24
GRAIN.
Chicago Market.

CHICAGO, Feb, %.
LIVE STOCK.
H0GS-Receipts $4,000; active and firm light,
35lE7 90; mixed packing 30616 SIS; heavy pack
ing and shipping 8 90I07 SO.
CATTLE-Receipts $500; slow; weak exports. ; IS
06 20; good to choice shipping, 1905 70; com
mon to fair, 25GS5 90.
GRAIN.
WHEAT-Lower; gular 1 0Sl4 Feb. 1 OSL%
March; O91sG1 09 April; 13401 14B May
CORN--Los er; So cash and Feb; STA March :;
56z April: 601901605s May.
OATS-Lower; 3a039h cash and Feb S91sQ
800 March; 391a April AIN May.
RYE-66.
BARLEY.-A.
WHISKEY-I II.
PoRK-Lower; SIS 1917 February: SIS eQ5s
March; SIS 401S April; S1s651a May; SIS II June
LARD-Lower; 81 Is February; Sl1 SO; March:
81 81 April; 81 So May; 81 s559 June.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24

An iron mill at Carondelet, Missouri,
where one thousand men have been on a
strike for three months, was started up
Monday last wiki nen unisn msn.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24
The Union Trust en-.
Gil and 613 Chestnut STREET, PHILA-
DELPHIA, PA.
CAPITAL $1,000, 600.
CHARTER PERPETUAL

-Acts as ETecutor. administrator. ASSUME p.
ceigeT, Gat0rdtda, Att0rney agent, Jrtstee am
Conaaittee' alone or IN connection eoith an dj,doGi
dpp0intee.
Takes charge of the property of absentless and
non-residents, collects and RENTS income promptly
fduciary trust and agency known to the law
Safes for Rent within Burglarproof Safes ,yho1.
charge. Plate. securities and all other valusbs.
securely kept al moderate annual charge for .gfa
return specific indemnity.
Car Trusts and other approved securities for Sal.
Interest allowed on Moneys deposited for dafp-,
periods. upon ten days notice.
W. G.. PATTERSON, President
HESTER CLYMER. Vice President
MAHLON S. STOKES. Treasurer
FRANCIS BACON, Sec'y and Trust Officer
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24
MI. M. CORBETT,

A TToRNEY AT LAW, Solicitor in Chancery and
ANotary Public Abstracts, Leans and collections
Office, Buferds Block, I'D avenue, over Bakers
Jewelry store. nov-20-dIy
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24

TEOBIA, 60. %
C0RN-Firm mixed, -53G53h
OATS No. 2 white, 42a42M.
RYE-561S a57.
WHISKY Is.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24
DIRECTORs

DIRECTORS.
W. G. PATTERSON, HON. T. F. BAYARD
JAMES LONG, Wilmington, Del:
ALFRED S. GILLETT, DIR. GEO W. RELY
HON. ALLISON WHITE, Harrisburg, Pa
DIR. G. p. TURNER, HON. j. 5. AFRICA
ID. r. PATTERSON, Huntingdon Pa:
JOHN II. MONROE, HON. H. CLYMER
JOS. L. KEEFE, Reading, Pa:
THOS. r.. PATTON, HENRY S. ECKERT
w, j. MEAD. Reading Pa:
JAS. s. MARTIN, EDMUND s. DOTY
DIR. D. HAYES AGNEW. MifIingtown, Pa
II. II. HOUSTON, HON. II. f. MONAGHAN
JOHN q. READING West Chester, PA:
Philadelphia, Pa; GEN. W. w. II. DAVIS
HON. r.. f. RANDOLPH. Doylestown. Pa.
Morristown, n. j.; CHAS. W. COOPER
Allentown, Pa.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24
Retrannhmant.

Pickles Smith, at recent meeting of
the Lime Kiln Club handed up the fol-
lowing:
.tResoLUed, Dat we am libin' too fast,
an dat it am de opinyum of dis club dat
retrenchment an economy should be-
come de standard notices of de ken
try"
Waydown Bebee opposed the reso1u-
ton. He had lived all summer on po-
tatoes. Goldfish and bakers bread, and if
that was too fast living he didn't know
himself
Whalebone Howker said he must also
oppose it. He had worn the same suit
of clothes for four years, and it had
been Is months since he had seen a
mince pie on his table. Any further
stretch of economy would leave him
without stockings for the winter.
Samuel Shin didn't want to seem cap
tious, and as q rule he always voted in
favor of every motion or resolution in
troduced, but in this case he must rebel.
He was months behind in his rent,
needed hundred new things in his
house, and was forced to make one pa
per collar last him whole week.
Several other members spoke in the
same vein, and the President placed the
resolution on the window-sill with the
remark:
IF de kentry can't take keer of her.
self she must bust. If we had de money
to fling on good clothes an order quail
On toast, / reckon dat all de notices eb-
er hudg up wouldn't stop us. De reso-
luton will be laid aside and sold by de
pound"
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24
M eat Market.

E. SCHNEIDER dealer in all kinds OF fresh and saa
eats 70 1917 Second avenue, Rock Island, III
oct1sd1y
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24
THE MOLINE SAVINGS BANK
chartered by the Legislature of Illinois)
MOLINE ILLINOIS
Open daily from A. NJ. to 3 P. M. and on Tuesday
and Saturday Evenings from to O'Clock
Interest allowed on Deposits at the rate Of 4
per Cent. per Annum.
Deposits received in amounts OF 81
and Upwards.
SECURITY AND ADVANTAGES.

SECURITY AND ADVANTAGES
The private property of the TrusteesIsresponsibl
to the depositors. The officers are prohibited from
borrowing any of Its moneys. Minors and marrieF
women protected by speciallaw.
OFFIoERs:-S. W. WHEELoeK, President: JOHN
Coon, Vice President; G.. F. HEMENwAY. Cashier
TRUsTEEs:-S W. Wheelock, Porter Skinner. C.
W. Lobdell, Nelson Chester. d W Candee c. T.
Grant,, A. 9; Wright, g. E.. Hemnway. John
Good. j. III. Christy C.. FL. Stoddard.
EE The only chartered Savings Bank in Rock
Island County aup2dwy
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-24

One of the curious industries of New
York City is gathering the stale bread
from large hotels and restaurants and
grinding it up into food for poultry
and pigs. The Astor house sells its
stale bread for $500 annually. The con-
tractor has 81 ,00o,oo0 invested in the
business and keeps nins teams steady at
work.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30
A Misunderstanding.

Why it was done we cannot say, but
quite number of the streets Of Austin
have been named after females. Such
names as Emma, Laura, Isabella, stare at
you in large letters from almost every cor
ner, The Austin people, or some OF them,
at least, have become tolcrably familiar
with Maria Jane, Susan, and the rest, but
strangers are liable TO become bcwildered
by this singular nomenclature.
A gentleman from Dallas, who had only
a few hours TO spend I'm our city, wished
TO take look at the new capitol, and not
knowing where it was, he made inquiry OF
the first man he met
"Can you tell me how can find the
new temporary capitolY"
"Thats easy enough. You know where
Emma street isY"
III do not. have no acquaintance with
any lady of that name. There Is family
by that name In Dallas, but am not &C
quainted with them. Does Emma Street
live near the capItolw
The Austin man stared at the stranger
for moment, and then pointing down
Magnolia Avenue, he said;
"You see where Marie comes into the
avenueg'
The Dallas man looked In the direction
pointed out, percclving fat old negro
woman with big basket on her arm,
nodded his head in assent.
swell, you must take Maria It'll you
get to the corner OF Elizabeth, and until
Peggy and Sarah come together, and then
you will be all right"
look here, my friend, If you think
am that kind of man because l come
from Dallas, you are most confoundedly
of, want you to understand that l am
gentleman"
"You god-gasted idiot u rctorted the
Austin man, "if | was as bad Off for brains
as you are, / would bore hole In my
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30
Advance at Your Peril.


Well, was beat out of splendid
evenings engagement, Sunday night,
said the cigarette-smoking young man,
the young man with the well balanced
mind, if parting his hair in the middle
balances his mind. 1t was Monday
evening, and he was unburdening him
self to the drug clerk.
"What was the trouble" said the
drug clerk, rs he took II bottle of per-
fumery and squirted some in his hair
and on his vest "Did some other fell
low get to the girls house ahead of
youp'
mo, but | was stood off. You see, 1
went to the house, and the servant let
me in and was seated in the parlor.
My girl came in the room, with woe
depicted on every feature. She stood
with her head down, her hands clasped
in front of her, so tight that the blood
stopped circulating in her fingers, and
she seemed utterly crushed IL made
me sick at heart to look at her, and
knew something dreadful had happened.
| got up and started toward her, TO
take her in my arms, let her head rest
on my bosom, and help her bear the
burden that was evidently killing her,
but before had advanced two steps
she held up her hand and shouted
Back, back! Advance another step at
your perilr | stopped and tried to
find out what was the matter, but
she would not speak. Finally
started for her again, but she
held up her hands again and said; Go,
leave me! am not strong. Go, and
tomorrow | will write you all. Well,
| went. Any gentleman would, under
the circumstances, and all night L
dreamed that she was dying, and this
morningI went by her house to see if
there was Grape on the door. tell you,
Pills, have suffered more in the last
eighteen hours than man ever suffered
before. could see her laid out, and
the hearse in front of the house, and
everything was as plain to me as though
it had actually occurred. / have shad-
owed the postoilise all day, and just
got this note, explaining it,"
GOOD heavens, she is not dead"
said the drur cl1rk, rs he pounded some
herbs in Il mortar.
No, she Is alive, but | don't know
what she meant by telling me she was
not strong last night. She writes me
that she had been eating onions for a
cold. That was the reason she told me
to advance one step at my peril. Why,
] could have discounted them onions. |
had been eating limberg cheese all the
afternoon, with the boys, at the poker
rooms and onions wouldn't have made
II first payment on me. just think what
an evening missed by this COMPOUNDED
superstition about onions. Have a
cigarette, Pills" and the young man
with the well-balanced mind pulled out
case and treated his friend, and they
sat and smoked in silence until woman
came in after bottle of castor oil. -
Ftch'S Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-05-30
A Hard Witness.

DO YOU know the prisoner wellP"
',rd the attorney.
Never knew him sick replied the
witness.
No lcvity,' said the lawyer. stcrnly.
Now, sir, did you ever see the prisoner
ut the bar?'
Took many a drink with him at the
par
answer my question. sir" yelled
the lawyer. ''IIow long have YOU
known the prisoner?
From two feet up to five feet ten
inches.
"Will the Court make the -"
II have, Jedgc. said the witness,
anticipating the lawyer; IL have an
severed the question. | knowed the
prisoner when he was n boy two feet
long and "A man five feet ten"
Your Honor
Its fact, Jedgc, I'm under oath,
persisted the witness.
The lawyer arose, placed both hands
on the table in front of him, spread his
legs apart, leaned his body over the
table and said.
"Will you tell the Court what YOU
know about this case?'
That amt his name" replied the
witness.
"What amt his name?'
Cease
"Who said it WASP"
"You did. You wanted to know what
] knew about this case. His name :
Smith"
your Honor" howled the attorney.
plucking his beard out by the roots,
Twill you make this man answer?'
Witness" said the Judge, you
must answer the questions put to you.
Land o Goshen, Jedge, hain't
been doin' it? Let the blamed cuss fire
away. I'm all ready
Then, " said the lawyer. don't beat
about the bush any more. You and the
prisoner have been fricnds?'
"Nevcr," promptly responded the
witness.
What! Wasn't you summoned here
as II friendpn
mo, sir; was summoned here as a
Presbyterian. Nary one of us was ever
Friends. He's an old-line Baptist,
without drop of Quaker in him. y
'Stand down, yelled the lawyer. in
disgust.
"HeyP'
"Stand down"
Cant do it, I'll sit down or stand
up"
"Sheri0, remove tho man from the
box"
Witness retires, muttering: "Well,
If he amt the thick-headedest cuss ]
ever laid eyes on. "-Uttca Observer.