The Baltimore County union., 1883-03-31

sPooPENDYKE AS A FARMER.
Brosk kiyn Eagie.


have always wanted. A farm and a
farmers life are the highways to hap
piness, Mrs. Spoopendyke, don't you
think SOP"
ats perfectly lovely" rejoined Mrs.
Spoopendyke. al was born on farm,
and was always healthy, though had
to go good ways for water"
arm fix that my DEAR" returned Mr..
Spoopendyke. "I'll bring the water.
Now where are my agricultural rcports9
| must plant right oR il we are going to
have crops, and when they're ripe we'll
take them to market"
al sec the report says you must give
your hen chopped turnips once in
while," said Mrs. Spoopendyke, put
ting her thumb on the paragraph.
"Either that or cabbages," returned
her husband. 81 don't know whether
well have cabbages enough" he con-
tinued musingly.
"You must have less buckwhcat,"
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke. al would
think, though, that two acres would be
enough for one hen, and il il isn't, you
can buy load now and then from the
neighbors."
"I'll think that over" replied Mr..
Spoopendyke. "Iere's one thing /
don't understand. Il says we should
test few seeds before planting, to
make sure they will gcrminatc, but i,
don't say how to do it,"
"May be il means TO boil them"
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke, or per-
haps you-"
"Oh, perhaps you think i, means to
crack 'em with an axe to see il they are
hard. Is'posc you've got an idea you
stick straws into 'em TO see il they're
done. Well, you don't; you put acid
OMEN. I'll get some acid and drop
'em in, and if il discolors 'cm they're
no good, and il il don't they're all
right. ! think we ough. to have some
wcevil for the pig"
al don't know where you're going
to plant it" said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
"unless it will grow with buckwheat or
onions. You can't put it in with the
cabbage, because the pig and hen
would fight"
"Do you know what weevil is?" de-
manded Mr.. Spoopendyke, glaring at
his wife. "Got notion its some kind
OF weed for the pig to smoke, haven't
you? Imagine its gilt-edgcd note paper
with a monogram for him to write on,
don't you? Well, it isn't swallow-tail
coat or plug hat for him to go to church
in, neither! You don't plant weevil,
Mrs. Spoopendyke, any more than you
do soap, or clothcs-pinS, or stair rods.
You buy it in barrels, and I'll order
some"
81 think we ought to have some lace
curtains for the front Windows" sug.
gested Mrs. Syoopendyke, anxious to
change the conversation.
eyes, and we want a folding bedstead
for the COW, and we've got to have 4
new arm chair for the pig, and I'm
afraid those cabbagcs won't do without,
wet nurse" squealed Mr.. Spoopcndyke.
al suppose I've got to hire a man to
see that the meadow don, go fishing on
Sunday and upset your religious notions.
oh you're farmers wife, you are
II had time to write an index to you
and get some dod gasted binder to fix
you up with ny-leaf, you'd make 4
whole agricultural report -
And Mr.. Spoopendyke shot into the
house and to bed, while his wife, having
put all the oil lamps into buckets of
water so they couldn't explode during
the night, fell asleep, dreaming that the
cabbage patch had eloped with the
onions, while the COW and pig had died
Of weevil, and the windmill had aban-
doned agricultural pursuits and started
Off through Ohio preaching the Gospel.
FURTHER TROUBLE FOR THE GIRLS.
PHILADELPHIA Time'.
Some statements recently printed in
this journal concerning the tendency of
young men in life present many unfor-
innate aspects. 1t was shown by talks
with number of employers that COM
parative!y few young men were learning
trades and that the number is actually
growing less every year. The boys now
growing up seem to be too nice for real
work and they seek positions as clerks
and book-kcepers and such light places,
where they seem TO care little for the
pay so long as the work doesn't muss
their hair and soil their clothes.
This frightful waste Of young men is
Of very great concern TO the young wo-
men. II has been the popular thing for
years for young men TO discuss the use
lessness of girls. Large numbers of
them are more than necessarily useless,
but the most useless girl has generally
been able to find suitable match in 4
useless boy somewhere or other. The
danger now seems to be that the useless
boys are going to be much in excess of
the useless girls. The young men are
wasting themselves more and more
every year. They are making them
selves totally unfit for the duties and
responsibilities Of life.
II is this which is discouraging mar
riage. The young mans reason for
not marrying is that girls are so extrav
agant and costly. This has been the
regulation story for years. The fact is
that the average young man who drifts
into poor but gentcel clerkship. when
he should 60 into the workshop, is not
able to get together enough money to
take care Of himself. He could not
undertake the support Of the most eco
nomical girl, and he seeks to excuse his
weakness by untruthful railing a; the
young women.
As a matter Of fact the young women
Of this day are showing a much more
useful tendency than the young men,
They are seeking work and supporting
themselves in most instances with bet
ter Judgment and more courage than is