, 1883-04-26
PITH AND POINT.

TKEyouuB naA "ASn nie NOV
backs down.
Tnn more flour housekeeper has the
more she kneads.
A CASE without parallel is manifestly
not a printers case.
WY is there nothing like leather?
Recause it is tho sole support OF man.
A pEoubIARrrY Of the clock is that as
soon as it strikes it goes on with its
work.
"Tll join you presently" MS the min
;ster snid to the yOung couple ~ he went
fox the church key.
A BUSINESS college advertises guaran-
facing TO make its pupils " better writers
than shakespeare in his palmiest days
HERE is another attempt to deprive
woman of hcr rights: A male wretch has
cot up All Invention to prevent the slam
ming Of doors.
VIZ arc told that Che ancient Egyp-
t;ons bonored cat when dead. Tho
aucie1t Egyptians knew when cat was
most to be honorcd.
"Ir's sot you are, winter or summer, "
said the snNWish wife to her drunken
husband. Aul it's scoId you are, sum-
mer or winter" ho replied with malic-
ions grin.
THERE are some experiences in life
which make us feel like the boy who,
when he stubled his toe against sharp
stone, sail he was too big to cry and too
badly hurt to laugh.
THIs il Il beautiful language of ours.
Ben Hogan, the retired pugilist, who
las turned preacher is spoken of as the
ezpoundrr OF the priHe ling and the ex-
pOnrder Of the gospel.
J. W. RILEY has IL poem on "The
Lost Kiss" He doesn't make it very
main az to how he lost it, but it Is pre-
sumed her mother came into the room
Just III tlnG to catch her ut It,
"WHAr makes You feel so uncomfort-
able when you have done wrong|
Skol Il teacher who WAS lccturing his
pupils Oh conscience. My fathers
leather strap" answered little boy.
LADY who had quarrcled with her
bald.headcd lover said, i'll dismissing
him, "Wnat is delightful about you,
my friend, is, that have not the trouble
Ot sending YOU buck any locks of hair "
A LITTLE girl went timidIy into shop
and asked The slopman how many shoe
sriug. sll" could got for penny" " How
long 10 Won want them?" he asked. 81
want them to keep" was the answer, in
tone of slight surprise.
\. ScrSr-.A butcher's stand. Butcher
4 "Comc, John, I've lively now; break the
homes IN Mr.. Williams chops, and put
Mr.. Srnth's ribs in the basket for him."
John (LMakhD: "Ail right, sir, Just MS
soon as I've sawed oil Mrs, Murphy's
ag."
THE newly.arrived chambermaid hav-
ing observed her mistress going out for
the evening wearing u pair of twelve
hutton gloves, contidentiullv remarked
10 the cook : "It bates all. Shure /
niver expected to see 1t lady wld stockin's
on her alrums.
\ AMAN who was fishing for trout in
the Iionesta years ago, SO the story
runs, caught his hook in II bag Of gold
and brought it snfely to shore. As he
looked at the gold he sadly said 4: "Just
my luck; never could catch any fish !"
OIL CiY Derrick.
A ALEADvILLE man in one week was
attacked and scratched by a catamount,
hurt by an explosion, had bowlder rol!
down on him and stave i'll two ribs, and
was kicked by u mule. And local ed
ior remarked that ho had "been some.
n what annoyed by circumstances lately"
\ ACQUISITION Of supply; Parish clerk
(at vestry meeting on the question OF
organ bowers salary, the rector in the
chair You see, sir, it isn't as if there
was only the hymns, but there's the
comm N aud goin' out, and the 'sponseS
and the prayers and tho psalms take q
WonerluI deal o wind !'-P,Mch.
HE was at breakfast, wrestling with
piece OF remarkably. tough veal. IRs
Wie said to him, "Iou always say there's
something to be thankful for in every
Mlng. fancy you'd be puzzled to find
omethlng 10 DO thankful for in that
veal" Not at ALL" he cheerfully re.
sponded, stopping to breathe; II was
Just thlnking how grateful we should be
"s met 1t when it WIS young"
ara dance, the other evening, ho
was introduced to a very becoming miss,
and SO, Of course, WIS doing his best to
merit merit his good luck. Feeling sudden
@ m,uhp position, he excused himself for q
"tAute, aud, on returning, was in tho
%o1 Oh removing few kernels OF coffee
o.. Mtm ms vest pocket, when tine damsel
"I0r, "II.onlshed him by saying: Don't
rnow mat; | had rather smell the new
'um' He didn't apologize.