The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-07-20
WITTICISMS.
The prince of Wails-a baby.

~ HNNS
wants to keep.
Adam and Eve established the first
appellate court.
What time of day was Adam born ?
Just before Eve.
The only kind of cake children don't
cry fora cake of soap.
A western invitation: Come out and
elbow" up with the county.
The warm weather brings the dogst to
muzzlin' and summer pants.
When are watches easily stolen -?
Whenthey are off their guard.
The doctors work fills six feet of
ground but dentists fll an acher.
Fruits of the seas-on-wrecks. Cut
ting up shines-the worker in precious
stones.
A man recently knocked down an ele-
plant, a lion and a rhinoceros, He was
n a%uctioneer.
In a library: 81 say, who took the
Life of Washington p" an swear ]
didn't know he was murdered"
At an Irish meeting in New York
some one in the audience got up and
moved that mo one should vote who
was not present.
An impecunious individual remarks
that life was the same TO him at school
as it IS now. He was strapped then,
and has been strapped ever since.
When Henry was counting Sarah he
used to boast that he had a boss" girl;
now that he is married, he finds that he
has a boss" wife; but he men
tionsit i.
AGeorgia girls engaged in a task of
eating four large onions, 200 green APP
pies and two bottle of pickles a day, for
thirty days. He friends have no fears
she will fail in needing the undertaken,
says a local paper.
An article in a Chicago paper is head
ed, kissed by her Husband" A Chit
cago mar who read 1t writes Us that al
though it is rhetorically a fine piece of
work, the effect is spoiled by the utter
lack of probability.
A man of airs-Cy Clone. A man of
airs-a conductor. 4 mar of heirs
w. II. Vanderbilt. A mar of fairs
father of daughters.-Whltehall times.
A man of airs-a muslcian.-Balti-
more Every Saturday.
A bachelor having read that two
lovers had sat up all night with but
one char in the room, said that it could
not be done unless one of them sat on
the floor. A young lady thinks such
ignorance must positively be painful.
Teacher-"In the sentence, Mary
loves john what does John agree
with ?" Bright scholar-"With Mary"
Teacher-"With Mary? How do you
make that out?" Bright scholar
"Cause Mary wouldn't love him if he
didn't agree with her."
When a young man says his girl is
worth her weight in gold" he is not
putting a very high value upon her I'M
less she Is a very hervy girl. At this
rating, one hundred and twenty pounds
of girl would be worth only about $780,
900.
In one Of his speeches during the
star route trial, Ingersoll expressed the
hope that when Gabriel came to Rer
dell's grave he would not blow. Is il
possible that Gabriel, too, is mixed W
in the star route business; otherwise
why should Ingersoll be afraid of hi
blowing?
Said the civilian, as he saw the cor
diality between the Boston soldiers anC
their southern guests: And these arr
the men our soldiers were trying to lIcl
a few years ago, and now see how The
respect themP And an old veteran re
piled: Hang, it sir, you'd respect EN-
If you'd been there and seer how hare
they were to lick"
Fond father: MAY we hope for tn,
pleasure of your company at our soire'
tomorrow, doctorP We shall have
little instrumental and vocal music
My daughter Alice Will sing and after
ward Beatrice will recite her neV
poem. At nine O'clock we shall sup.
Doctor: "Many thanks-you are yer,
kind. I will be with you al nine o'clocl
sharp"
A woman died in a Tennessee tow
the other day from the effects of tn
sting of a bee upon the nose. Their
are MANY men in the country upol
whose o the sting of a bee woul,
have but very little effects There j
whisky enough in the noses whicI
loom up on the faces of some men t
counterfeit the poison from the sting o
a whole swarm Of bees.
A Kentucky politician, troubled will
insomnia, was telling a friend, who, b
the way, is a noted wit of that state, O
his condition, when his friend said b
had been afflicted that way himself
but had found a cure for il. "Fo