Morning journal and courier., 1883-06-19
PROFESSIONAL.

! It's always we'll to have a professional | nurse to stay with sick person. Her snor- | ing is such company for the invalid.-Boston | Post
 1 The Ozar has got into the king row at last 1 Now he can move backward or forward as he chooses, but in view of the odds against him | he will do well to skirmish back and forth | within easy run of the double corner l Hawkeye.
 l ''Behave like gentleman to day, my son, all day and I'll give you $1," said father to l his 12-year old ssTrade, dad, " said the boy, and he went and got drunk, played poker and | tried to work up 8 irritation with a chorus girL-Boston Post. 1 q am an agnostic," remarked a young man in swell accents. And an agnostle Is l what ?" inquired an elderly gentleman. ''An \ agnostic," replied the fresh youth, in man ! ner expressive of his pity for his interlocu- I tors ignorance, Gan agnostic is fellow, you 1 know, who isn't sure of anything. ''I see, " replied the old gentleman; 'but how does it happen that you are sure you are an agnos- 1 ic2"-Boston Transcript. The people of northwestern Texas are very much puzzled what to do with the prairie dogs that are eating up all the grass. We have not given the subject very thorough consideration, but it seems probable that if such cereals as cabbage. let tuce, green peas, etc., were planted Tn sufficient quantities in the vicinity of the dog towns, the prairie dogs would cease to fiji up, like Nebuchadnezzar, on grass, and would devote all their time to slowing away the more succulent garden truck.-Texas Siftings.
 A colored man was hanging around one of the opera houses the other evening ia a man. ner to show that he was deeply interested in what was going on inside, and gentleman finally said to him "Why don't you go in ? Under the civil rights bill you can take seat in the parquet circle" ''Yes, sah l knows all bout dat, sah l'' was the reply. "Under cibel rights bill I ken take my seat in the house but under the present strain in my finances couldn't buy two shingles if hull opera houses were sellin' for ten cents apiece, sah."-Jndependent A MODEL GARDENER. Bill Hedger was a gardener Who earned his daily meat By telling zsalously all day
 His zeal was hard to beat.
 Hewas man of tender parts
 And thoughtful for his years Fen when he out his onions down,
 His eyes would fill with tears
 He was so pititul and kind
 He'd dread to cut his lawn
 But though he'd never shock his friends, He'd often shock his corn. score of carrots oft he'd give
 To feed widows kine;
 Such gems of charity rare-
 Full twenty karats fine.
 His wretched horfe could hardly creep, Bill propped him while he grazed;
 He slid he'd have better steed
 When his celery was raised.
 He'd sometimes caulihower to him
 When he had done his work
 He loved it steve in buttermilk,
 Or boiled with greens and pork.
 But Death at last moved William down,
 And they planted him in loam, ---sz And gave him for his epitaph-
 "He found sweet peas at home !'
 The Judge.
 In anger flew her agile jaws,
 And swear words darted from her tongue
 The maid was fighting mad because
 She couldn't make her bangs stay bung
 -Bismarck Tribune.