Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-03-31
TROUBLES OF A BRIDAL PARTY

TROUBLES OF A BRIDAL. PARTY.
Say, what kind of hotel do you keep p,
SAID green looking man, as he stepped up
10 The hotel counter and registered his
name, and added "and wife" after it. "Can
new married couple settle down here for
two or three days and have a quiet visit
with each other aud not be scared out of
their boots ?"
The hotel man said they could 60 right to
their room and stay there three DAYS or
three weeks, and never come to their meals
if they didn't want anything to eat. "But
what is the matter? Have you been an
noyed?" asked the hotel man.
Annoyed That don't express it. We
were married day before yesterday, at St,
Paul, aud went to hotel. live about GO
miles West of St. Paul, and the travelingmen
put up ajob to make me tired There were
about hundred of them showed in ut St.
Paul, and III be darned if they didn't keen
US awake all night They knew we were a
bridal couple, and they bribed the bell BOYS.
anu porters to let them act for them.
rung for :. chambermaid to clean up the
about half al hour before she came, and I
went down to the Office to see about nv
trunk, and the chambermaid stayed about
half an hour, and was very interesting. and
my wife said she was q real pleasant.
afectionate sort of a creature, far aboyeher
station, and tell you I was mad when I
found out that it was smooth faced hand.
some young Jewish drummer for q Milwau-
kee clothing house, who was in with the
gang, and he gave the chambermaid three
dollars to loan him an old dress so he could
play chambermaid. When my wife told me
that the chambermaid patted her on the
cheek, and said she was the sweetest bride
that was ever in the hotel, and asked for q
kiss, and nay wife said she thought it would
be no harm to kiss q poor chamber
maid and encourage her, I wanted to kill
him. While we were ut supper some.
body got into the room and put crack
er crumbs in our bed, and we found q cold
oil-cloth floor mat over the top sheet enough
to freeze anybody. But the worst was at
night. We had just got comfortably in bed
when there was knock at the door and T
got up, and the watchman was there, and
he said he wanted to point out to me
the lire escapes so [ could get out in
case OF fire, and went out in the hall and
he took me way out to the end of the
building to show it TO me, and while
was looking out Of the window my wife
came running down the hall and begging me
to save her, l asked her what was the mat
ter and she said as soon as went out a man
that looked like porter, came in the room
and told her to fly, and save herself, and TO
follow her husband She felt awful when
she found there was no trouble, and we got
back into our room half froze They woke
US up several times in the night, to tell us
what to do in case we were sick, and in the
morning, before we were up, a waiter brought
up our breakfast. He said the landlord
sent it up, and he just stood around until
we had to sit up in bed and eat breakfast
l thought at the time that it was kind in
the landlord to send up our breakfast, but
when | found that the waiter who brought
it up was a travelling man for reaper fac
tory at Rockford and remembered how
darned impudent he looked at my wife, I
could have murdered him, but the clerk
said he had gone to Winnipeg. It
was just about as bad coming down
here on the sleeping car, and I think
half the passengers on the car were those
same drummers that were showed in. It
was colder than Alaska, and I would order
extra blankets, and they would steal them.
| had more than twenty blankets put on the
bed and in the morning there was nothing
but sheet over us. And every time there
was a blanket spread over us there was o
different porter put it on, and / think they
were all travelling men. Every little while
somebody would pull open the curtains and
sit down on my berth and begin to pull off
his boots, and would tell him the berth
was occupied and that he must have made a
mistake, and he would look around at us as
innocent as could be, and ask our pardon,
and then go out and damn the porter. Once
| felt somebody feeling about my berth and
l asked what was the matter, and the fel-
low said he was looking for my wife's shoes
to black. Then about every fifteen minu-
tes the conductor would open the curtains,
and hold Il red lantern in and ask for our
tickets. | think they punched nv ticket
sixty-fve times. Any way it looked
like porous plaster when I got up in Che
morning. think it was the travelling men,
who were playing conductor, but I was
sleepy and thought the best way was to
let them punch it. Well about o'clock III
the morning somebody punched us and said
it was time to get up, as all the passengers
were up, and we would have breakfast.
And then we hustled around and got dress.
ed the best we could, laying on our backs,
and kicking our clothss up in the air and
catching them on ourselves when they came
down. | got my pants on wrong side be-
fore, and my wife lost her hair, and had to
tie a handkerchief around her head, and
then we had our berths made up and sat up
till daylight, and the porter found my wife's
nair and pinned it to the curtains of a berth
occupied by preacher from Oshkosh, and he
kicked and got mad, and talked about it,
| wondered how it came there, and he swore
about it, and I think he travels for an Osh-
kosh carriage factory. Oh, Ineyer had such
night or two such nights, in all my life,
and what I want to know is if can be quiet
here, and get q lite sleep, and not be an
noyed." The hotel man told him if any.
body came around to bother him, to knock
them clear down stairs, and he would be re.
sponsible, and the bridegroom took his
satchel and his wife, and the colored man
showed them room, and they have not
showed up since-Peckis S,t, ss. s.. ~.,.tts- J