Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-11-29
Raw at an Election 10 Hex,eo.
FACT ArD RUMoR.

Afectation in any part OF our esrri,se
is lighting up candle TO our defects, and
never fails to make us be taken notice
Of, either as wanting sense or sincerity
Locke.
Simperton-" You've heard that Browne
has married again p Chittergale- No.
Has he? What fool He diln't de-
serve to lose his first wife. They took
comfort at the bnffet.)
a Missouri town that was visited by a
cyclone last year has Just been devastated
by another. The inhabitants don't like
this method of catching their second wind.
Philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
Robert COmwell, of Henrietta. n. Y,
had an accusing conscience. His wife. uu-
usEectingly. joked him about his fondness
for the hired girl. aud he, thinking she
knew all, eloped with the young woman.
"Does your Helen remind you of Helen
of Troy ?" she asked, sweetly, as the sofa
springs fattened under E pressure of 100
pounds. No, not precisely you remind
me more of Helen of Avoirdupois, was
the scaly reply.
When @ mans wife comes in and sees
him, razor in hand, and with his face all
lather, and asks him, ''ATe you shaving %
it's provoking thing for him to answer,
No, I'm backing the stove, but it is in
human nature to so reply.
Long Branch is said TO be the oldest set.
Element in northern New Jersey, and il
has church built in Queen Anne's time.
You see, church at Long Branch is used
so little that it doesn't get worn out, and
lasts long time.-[BostOn Post
It is easy enough for millionaire TO get
his family into what is called good So
ciety in New York. He sdvertises
large free lunch and brings the society
around it, and his family Immediately be.
comes as popular as boned turkey.
Baskins hasn't much to say against the big
hats at the thester of late: but his remark
in stage whisper, the other evening, that
he could tell q pig in poke, caused several
young ladies in copious headgear to mur-
muT brute" and then blush Ike so many
red peonies Il Exchange.
Right on the heels Of the Republican de-
feat in Ohio comes ths distressing news Of
the death of Dr.. Shrieshooski, formerly
the leader of the Czsch party" We hoped
this blow would have been spared US. But
what the dickens is Czech party Is
cant be any Czicker than the Republican
party in Ohio just now [Norristown Her.
aid.
The latest way of making 4 raise comes
from Clinton, Mass. where it is said lady
mixed batch of bread which failed 20 rise,
even after p delay Of twenty-four hours.
She did not wish her father to see the waste
OF -four so she buried the dough in the
garden. TIE next morning her father
called her cut 10 see an enormous white
mushroom Of an unheard- of variety that he
had discovered. He vas calling his neigh
bors 90 see the curiosis-, when his daughter
enlightened him as t. She nature Of the
plant
Senior Lucas Nequiras Saez, q Spanish
gentleman. who emigrated 20 years ago to
America, lately retured TO his native land
in vessel OF his own, taking with him his
whole family, numbering 1877, not includ.
ing his sons-in.law and daughters.iu. law.
He was three times married. His first wife
had Il children at 7 births; his second
had 10 children at l3 births. and the third
had children at births. The younlest
Of his family of 81 is 10, and the eldest,
who is 20, has family of II children, Of
whom the first-born is AZ.
Member of French Legation "Ino talk
Anglaise vera veil. Ven pay zs wine vat
zsy?" ongressman-"Y "You say Come,
et US smile" M. of F. L.-'' Coon
etismile, vera goot. Ven ozzer man say,
Coon, letismile' to me, vat l zay zen -
Congressman - "Then you say. With
pleasure. NJ. of +. L-''sWiz plaisir
but if l no want to 'smile, vat gay zen %
Congressman-" What are you TO say when
you don't want to drink ?" NJ. OF F. l.
IS Oui, oui. Congressman-'I don't know.
don't think there is any such expression
a the English language. u Philadelphia
Call
No Choice. was in the Police Court.
The Judge said 81 shall give you your
,hoice you can either work ten DAYS on
The street or pay fine of $50" What p
calculated the prisoner, " work on the road
'en days or pay fine of $50 I don't see
my choice in there, boss I'll tell YOU what
will do. I'll shake the dice with you,
pest two horses ont of three, TO see whether
work on the road ten days or you pay me
80. But the way you put it, there amt
10 chance for me. cah't take no such
'sks ss that, Judge | can't, or nv honor
ls gentleman. But he did = Texas
Siftings.