National Republican., 1883-09-28

didae for governor Of Massachusetts, sings bass in
a Chicopee choir.
A KENTUCKY girl refused an offer of mar.
rirge on the ground that her father couldn't sup
port any larger family
STATISTICS show that New York eats s5.-
100000 worth of oysters year, Philadelphia
S3,5O0,0OO, and Boston 81 5000.
THERE are thirty blind men in New York
who sell newspapers most of whom own their own
stands and do good business.
THE climate of Western Nebraska is said to
be growing more rainy, because of the great corn-
| fields, which act as miniature forests.
Or the population of New England, which
was once entirely Puritan 100000 are now
claimed by the Roman Catholic church.
THERE has been discovered at Cohasset a
rock which, looked at from one position gives
very good contour of the features of Daniel
Webster
A PEASANT in Finland has tasted thirty
days and thirty nights. He would probably en-
joy trip through this county with Lord
Coleridge
WHEN Frank James was acquitted tho an
houncement of the news from the stage of a
theater in Topeka, Kau,, called out loud applause
| from the audience.
A WESTERN newspaper explains that
phrenologist is "a man who can tell by the bun
ions on boys head whether he Is to be hanged or
to be missionary"
ST. LOUIS jury has decided that shaving
| the human countenance is work of necessity,
and accordingly acquitted barber charged with
| violating the Sunday law
| LIGHTNING ran along the wire into an In
| diana telegraph office. The operator thought that
phenomenal man was at work on hasty mes
sage. Don't send so fast" he protested.
DEAR me' said a good old lady on Fifth
avenue the other evening, chow this craze for
china is growing Here's New York club that
pays $1,000 for Pitcher -Pttsburg Telegraph
THE democratic oficeholders of New York
arc becoming very Indignant at the cry of the
New York Sun, "Turn the rasoals out" They
think Mr. Dana might once in while strike at
somebody else.- Chicago NeWs.
THE Hon. John NJ. Glover, of Missouri,
the presidential nomination. As we are Informed,
Mr.. Glover is in turn warmly Endorsed by the
Hon. Frank James, Chicago Ns,ps
"GENTLEMEN,' said the Texas man in the
restaurant when the waiter dumped plate of not
soup down his back, gentlemen, don't laugh"
As he had risen to his feet and drawn two re-
volvers, his wishes were respected.
"No," said the poet "my poem wasn't
much of n success. The critics rather sat down
1t. But, in view of the fact that the printer got
the words golden light gutter snipe, 1 don't
quite feel that the piece had fair chance
AT Conway, in Wales, there is monument
erected in the church to the memory of dead
worthy Alderman Hopes. His epitaph consists
the following sentence: "He was the father of
twenty-seven children, and was the forty-hrst
child Of his father"
On Sunday Rev. DIR. Talmage said: People
nowadays want 10 reach heaven in Pullman
sleeping car to go in on soft plush and have the
beds made up early, so that they can sleep all
the way, and tell the black porter of death to
wake them up in time to enter the golden city"
IN Newcastle, Del, the other day, the
goodly people were RECALLED by the public whip
ping of thirteen convicts, seven colored and six
white. The lash was vigorously applied, but only
one back was made to bleed. The merry, merry
of that state keeps the lawless mice pretty we'll
subdued,
WHEN Mr.. Bookwalter was in China he be-
came acquainted with judge, who invited him
to a case tried. The culprit was arraigned for
larceny. Within thirty minutes that Chinese court
tried the prisoner convicted him, sentenced him
TO death, took him out in an alley, and cut his
head OIL.
SENATOR PENDLEToN keeps right along
with his democratic stump speeches, just us
though he hadn't been read out of the party by
Johnnie Mclean. Which reminds us of the man
who remarked TO fellow who threatened him
with pistol: "Look here. sir; If you hit me with
that and find 1t out, therell be trouble"
The keepers of the dog pound in New York
have been kept busy since it opened, June 10. and
will no doubt be very glad when 1t closes, Oct. L.
They had 3,s67 dogs to drown in that length of
time, to say nothing of dogs reclaimed. Since the
pound was instituted in 1877, there have been
, iJ,50G lawess CANNES put 10 death in wafer.
A THEATRICAL manager tells of producing
a farce in which one character was bald woman.
II happened that the actress who was cast for the
part had no hair on the top OF her head. But did
she avail herself of that advantage? No, indeed.
: She wore wig over the bare spot, rs usual, and
thereon laid some palpably false badness, This
actress, you understand, was woman
; THE pretensions of the late DIR. j. r. New
ton as miracle worker are considered by the
Rev. DR.. J. NJ. Buckley, editor of the Christian Id
tOcdie, whose conclusion Is that Newton was in
clined TO believe in himself. He convinced
many thousands that they were instantly cured at
his touch or command, and for eighteen years was
crowded by patients wherever he went
IT is believed that 10000 counterfeit sover-
oigns arc circulating IN. England and the govern
ment is blamed for il. With i've legal sovereigns
in circulauon-ono Light colored and alloyed with
tiu another dark coored and alleged with copper,
a third bearing the British coat Of arms, fourth
with the St. George, and, finally, the Australian
soyerogn-iti is not strange that bad one escapes
! notioe.-B0siOn Herald
THE comforting by tho queen Of the garter
- made vacant by the death OF the Duke of Marl-
y boro' on her young grandson, Prince Albert
Victor, has fallen like u thunderbolt on English
4 society. She sent for him while Mr.. Gladstone
: was absent in the northern seas and conferred the
blue ribbon at Balmoral the Princess Beatrice
alone being present Il is the first time the high
est utular order IN England has been granted to
2 one 50 young and Il is absolutely without prece-
u dent that tho son ana grandson OF the sovereign
should hold a blue ribbon simultaneously. On
{ the last vacancy tho queen passed over Mr. Glad
o stones nomination aud gave the ribbon to the
. Duke Of Grafton.
: A STORY IL told by a Toledo, Ohio, preacher
on a brother minister that win bear repeating
G Recently circus was in the city, and the minis
Q terial curiosity was 10 awakened that an outside
!. view Of tho stretch Of canvas would not Suihoe
y The minister had compunetions OF conscience
against the qualification Of what he fanoied might
z, lie a questionable desire. However his liberaity
o OF belief would permit OF tho children going and
of their seeing an there was 10 bo seen provided
IS they had aomo good sized masculine protector
'- ,,lth Them. But, unfortunately for him, he hat
no children, aud was, therefore, TO use an ortho
q, dox expresslon "in hole.' Finally he hit upor
Il a plan Ne went 10 his brother preacher ant
a tried 10 borrow his dyo-yearold boy as a eompan