The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-11-15
MY MATILDA,s BATH.TUB.

YET miss eacn earning race. .fI- IN
Mrs. B. F. Culbertson, In Bdtlou's Monthly.
MY MATILDA,S BATH-TUB.
1t was all the FAULT of my lear Matilda's
patent bath-tub. l a consistently main
tanned that. She, IN the other hand, will
have it that it was my defective French &C.
cent. Butt know better. The fact is that Ma
tilda was quite in the wrong when she bought
that bath-tub, though nothing woul ever
make her acknowledge it, and though she
continually demonstrates, with a woman's
convincing but far from fiawless logic,
that what happened would nave happened
bad the bath-tub never been bought. 1 am
a naval officer, and naturally Matilda has
followed me about in my wanderings as
far as possible. She is the best woman
and wife in the world, q capital manager,
and gifted in a remarkable degree with
what the French call the genius of installa-
ton. She never yet was twenty-four hours
in an apartment without giving it a home
like air, and though she travels with a
great deal of baggage-women will, I sup
pose-so many little Injuries and comforts
are constantly appearing from her numer-
GUS packages that I have never had the
heart to restrict her in such things. Still,
Matilda has the fault of her sex; she never
will let well alone, and thus it happened
that though we had been married for some
seventeen years, and had been travelling a
RT6aC pdrb OIL UQo ulm6 IN OInpleGo comfort,
she suddenly announced TO me one morn
ing that she had bought a new patent bath
tub ian Indian outfit invention, 1 think)
which would greatly simplify all our ar
engagements for packing.
"Good heavens, my dear" I exclaimed,
on looking over her shoulder at the receipt
which she was methodically filing in her
receipt snap, ewhat is all this? Three
guineas and a half for a bath-tubI 1t
seems to me a most unnecessary expense.
The India rubber bath-tubs we rave hitherto
had have always every purpose,
and I am sure ali your toilette arrange
ments have always beenmost excellent and
ready to your hand the moment we arrived
anywhere"
land to yours, too," replied Matilda,
with some little asperity.
"And to mine, too, and the children's,
also," l replied, with the Difference a wise
man always shows to a clever, practical
wife. "Really, my DEAR" l continued,
returning to the charge, 81 see no use in
this new purchase"
But here Matilda swooped down upon me
with afiood of facts Tin my opinion the
most bewildering things in the WORLDLY, and
cited a number of authorities to prove that
nothing before invented could ever be as
useful as the patent bath-tub; that it would,
in the first place, contain all the other
bath-tubs; n secondly, that it could be
used as a sort of supernumerary trunk, into
which everything which would not go into
the other boxes could be thrown at the last
moment.
Astute womanI She well knew the ir-
resistible temptation contained for me in
that final suggestion. 1t mustbe confessed
that l ave a weakness for forgetting
things, and making purchases at the last
moment, when the trunks are in a hopeless
state of repletion. As Matilda spoke 1
remembered a nargileh which I intended
to buy 1--WE were in Constantinople), and
abandoned the contest, observing that 1
supposed she knew best.
"Of curse l do, dear" said Matilda,
smiling, and drawing me into the room
where her new purchase was displayed.
1t stood in the middle of the floor, yawn-
ing cheerfully in all the brightness of fresh
white paint and varnish. 1t was an odd
shape, a sort of rounded square, like some
antique Dresden china teacups, and, like
them, stood in a wide, shallow saucer,
which saucer, it seemed, was the cover.
TIL exterior of the bath-tub and cover was
painted a dark chocolate brown, the inte-
rlor white, as L have said, and emblazoned
in the center was a monogram, M. u. G.
Matilda Dora Gilbert. Thought the mono
gram altogether superfluous, but I held nv
peace, little thinking under what mortify-
ing circumstances I should again see that
internal bath-tub. But, as the novelists
say, let me not anticipate.
A few days later l parted with nv dear
wife, who went northward to Switzerland,
where our children were at school,, while I
returned to my ship, which was ordered to
join the Mediterranean squadron. In the
summer we hoped to carry out a long
cherished plan, and nave a cottage in
Switzerland, in which the children would
be happy during their summers vacation.
Inc from which we could make little ex-
cursions in various directions. OF course
everything depended upon my getting
leave of absence; but by the end of May 1
was able to write to Matilda that I had
every reason to hope for leave during July
and August, aud that she might make her
arrangements accordingly. By return
mail L received the following letter from
my daughter Laura, who is one of the
sweetest and most impertinent girls in the
world:
"BoUGAUD SUR CONSTANCE. June 10, 49,.
DEAREST PAPA-We were enchanted to
hear of the probability of your getting leave,
and mamma has taken the sweetest little
chalet Imaginable for the summer, in which L
am sure We shall all be very happy. I'm
fortunately the poor boys will not be released
from DURANGO vile until the middle of July,
50 that they will not be able to come part Of
the way to welcome you, as mamma and /
and little Blanche intend doing. Mamma
sends You love, and kisses innumerable, and
begs you to remember that this is Bougaud
sur constance. She says she is particular
about this, because you never pronounce the
French az properly, and if you make your
your being taken to Bougorre sur Constance,
which is quite a different place, and very
much out of the way. Little Blanche sends
you "A big kiss and also begs you to be care.
ful, because she wants to see you as soon as
possible.
ever, dearest papa your loving
'Impertinent little minxes!" 1 said to
myself; and then, after some slight and,
as the sequel will show, improbable medi-
tation on the absurdities of French pro-
nuuciation, l dismissed the subject from
my mind.
On the 1st of July I was on my way to
the Swiss frontier, fulluof pleasurable an
ticipations. At the last moment my leave
had been extended to the 1st of October, so
that l had a month more thanI had ventured
to hope for. l knew nothing of Switzer-
land, and was resolved to make the most of
my time. 1had arranged to meet my wife
and daughters at Fleur Marie, a small vii
lage some thirty miles south of Bougaud,
which was said to be very picturesque, and
where we were to dine and spendthe night:
but as l journeyed northward 1 felt more
and more pity for the poor boys, who would
not be free until the 18th of July, and 1 re-
solved to make no expeditions without
them. Twas confirmed in this resolve by a
piteous letter from Geoff, the eldest, which
had been put into my hand just before leav-
ing the ship, and which l had forgotten to
read until well advanced on my Journey.
In this letter 1 was entreated "to wait for
Phil and me. You know, papa" proceeded
the letter, shat the girls usually nave all
the larks, and Phil and 1 have to grind
away at this disgusting school nearly ten
months of the year. Do promise to let us
go everywhere with you all this summer,
and please wait until we come home before
such a plea as this? Not 1, certainly. 1
AVE always been absurdly indulgent to
my children; so, OF finishing Geoff's letter,
! at once resolved to defer the visit to Fleur
Marie, and jumping out at the next railway
station, I ran to the telegraph office.