The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1883-12-14
WHY WE LAUGH.
Next to nice hot war, Gen. Tecumseh
Sherman says he likes TO kiss the girls.-At-
tdntd Constitution.

N6xt LO niCc uOt WAT, 0cu. 4cCuuscu
Sherman says he likes TO kiss the girls.-1t-
lanta Constitution.
"Guilty or not guilty ?D asked . Butch
Justice Of prisoner. "Not guilty." "Den
what do yon want here? Go about your
pizness.
sThere's room at the top" is good motto
for baldheaded men.-Cincinndti Merchant
Traveller. Not very desirable room, for
there's no Whitehall Times.
A missionary tells a story of Zulu chief
who embraced Christianity at once when
told II meant only one wife. The tawny
gentleman was In search of peace.
A dude gazed intently at q giraffe for q
few moments, and turning sadly away sigh
ed forth. sOh, II / had a neck like that
what collar could wear."--Philadelphia
Call.
There are said to be 1000 one legged
men in the United States. One-legged men
form the most peaceful and submissive ele-
ment Of our population. They never kick
Boston Globe.
An exchange sighs for the good old days
"when they blew q horn for dinner" The
exchange can have all that diet 1t wants, but
for US little iced tea, chicken and vege-
tables fit the complexion better.
.Are you going to play the piccolo to-
night ?" asked one member of the ochestra
of another. "Yes." "Then hope you'll
piccolo note to begin with" The piccolo
player was carried out on shutter.-E1.
First Old Maid-"I see that the rage for
the antique is dying out" Second Old
Maid-"Yes; mean, isn't it?" lawfully.
l did 90 hope 1t would continue five or six
months longer. You know 1884 Is leap
year."-Philadelphia Call.
"No," said the tramp, ~ never meant to
come here again. was heading for town
forty miles north Of here; but shaped my
course by railroad map got at the depot"
They concluded bis excuse was q good one
and let him go.-BostonP Post.
chow Is Johnnie doing at school ?" asked
q lady of Johnnie's mamma during call.
.sSplendidly. He talks in two Languages
now" "Dear me what are they, French
and German?" "Oh, no English and pro-
ane."- Marathon Independent.
"Hello, Jones how is Smith getting along
now ?" "Smith Is in bad way "That's
strange. heard we'll Of him the osher day.
In fact thought he fiourshed." ssHe did
fiourish-aourished another mans name on
the tail end of check. And row he is In
jail.n "Ah, see. Breakfast Table.
One OF the greatest paradoxes In the world
Is that man Is miserable beyond descrip.
tion in pair of new shoes that fit him, while
woman Is as happy as a bee In lily, or
political heeler In a beer saloon, when she
has on pair of shoes four sizes too small
for her. Puck.
The Protestant Episcopal Convention
finally, after heated debate, decided not TO
say 'snation," but to pray for sthfse" United
States, Dearly beloved, IL this United
States isn't as much nation as the Protes-
tsnt Episcopal aggregation is a church,
then old Trinity Is only q meeting house,
and the Church Of the HolyApostles Is con-
veuticle. Now don't you feel bad!-Bur-
tington Hdrkeye.
All, yes; come In, come in Haven't
seen YOU for several DAYS. Oh, been Yur-
rnp all summer, eh? All, yes, yes, to be
sure. Have a little sketch descriptive of
your trip you thought We would like to?
Of course, athats what we thought you
thought" Yes, we will publish it. No
you need not leave the manuscript we keep
the article electro typed and publish it every
October. Like your name signed to it.?
certainly; cost you S1.50 line; you'll fine
the business manager dowE stairs-good
morning.-LJe.
De 'possum know de paff troo de tall broom
sage,
Sing along my Liza janet
An he know war de 'simmon tree stan on de
aige,
Sing along, my Liza Jane
An he scrooches on de linn, chock full to de
brim,
De 'simmon juice spatter to his knee,
Wild tough lightud chunk, hits him-a
kerplunk
He falls out de ole 'simmon tree
When puts dat 'possum in de ashes fer to
roas',
Sing along, my Liza Jane
/ fells like q gittin' in 1ongside him, mos,
Sing along, my Liza janet
For he look so neat an he smell SO very
sweet,
Dar's jess 'nuff fer two--him an me.
As 1 lays in de sun, wild de possum all done,
/ blesses de ole 'simmon tree
Detroit Free Press