The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1883-05-18

THE Y BANGING MANIA.
o, see the young girl,
In beauty rare,
Sans kink, sans curl
Banging her hairl
And hear the young man,
At the piano there,
Hard az he can
Banging his airl
A young mother stands
Oppressed with care,
With slipper in hands
Banging her heir!
-Collegian.
THE BANGING MANIA Nj I.
QUITS.
A Commercial Travellers Tale.

Old commercial travellers will tell you
that in many respects the profession is
nothing to what it was; though for our
own part we are inclined to think that
in many respects the profession has i'm.
proved. The penny postage, the tele.
graph, the enormous expansion OF the
railway system, have wrought such
changes in the mode of doing business
between town and country that in the
commercial rooms of country-town inns
where in the "good old days. score of
gentlemen would have assembled of an
evening, one nowadays meets but two or
three. Much of its old character, also,
has departed. Before the era of rail-
ways, when men and horses might be
detained at an inn for days by stress of
weather or badness of roads, iollity and
free-and-easiness were very prevailing
characteristic the commercial traveller
and the reckless jollity of the fraternity
for fraternity it was, almost masonic
in the rlgidlty of its rights and the ex-
actness of its etiquette-passed into q
proverb.
But to our story. There happened to
be snug party of Commercial gentlemen
assembled in the commercial room of an
inn in one of our quaint South country
towns, one winter evening few years
ago. The cloth had been removed from
the table, the customary toasts had been
duly honored, and the company, some
half-dozen in number, had drawn their
chairs round the fire, lit their pipes, and
each with his glass of grog at his elbow
had evidently made up his mind to be
as comfortable and as cosy as possible.
The conversation was being monopo-
!ized by Mr.: Hicks. vulgar, puffy faced,
bald headed man.. with large expanse
OF shirt-front and much o.tentatious lew
elry, who was standing with his back to
the fire. his hands tucked under his
coat-tails in the orthodox British FASH
ion. The other men, who were all
younger, were listening with the respect
due to representative of the old school
OF commercials, hazarding occasionally
an approving remark, dutifully laughing
at every joke, but in no way interfering
with the great mans periods.
"Ah!" he said, wriDkling his fat brow
into series of parallel creases, and gaz-
ing almost mournfully up at the ceiling.
travelling amt what it was. There amt
ofun nowadays. Youyoung gents dno't
know what it means, for railroads have
knocked it all on the ed. 1t was some
thing j! can tell you, to turn out of a
warm bed at 4 o'clock OF winters
morning. and jump into the trap for a
twenty-mile round before break fast. 80
that the hopposition shouldn't get the
start of you. Nowadays you lump into
your train with your hulsters and your
wraps and your mornin' paper, and YOU
take your time over matters as can be.
'You don't seem to have the spirit we
bad, though we worked and we had our
fun, too, can tell you. You work; but
fun" '' :" nave 40 ''me 'or
I'm what way do you mean, sir?"
asked the boldest of the audience.
"What way?" repeated the great man.
"Why, mean the lodges and lark a
We was up to-"
"What sort of lodges and larks2'
asked the other.
ooh, all sorts~ replied the old gentle
man. "There's so much humbuggin'
etiquette about nowadays. It's what
you call bad form for gent to play a
trick upon another. I've known ali
sorts o. things done. They used to hocus
one another's drink, so as to make the
hopposition sleep 'eavy the next morn.
Ing; lock their doors on the outside;
change their boots; tell the boots not to
wake 'em until it was too late to do any
thing; and as we used to 'av rather wet
nichts IN those days, I can tell you some
OF US required power o. sleep to shake
OH the effects. It was considered fair
and above-b board to steal march in any
way upon gent who was working in
the same line; and there was much more
Imposition then, although there may be
more competition now; because, you see,
SUCH lots done by post and wire in
these days. Why, look at me; 'aven't
been here for two years or more; but I
know that when I go round tomorrow
to see how the other travellers been get
TIM on, I shall get just as many orders
as if I'd been regular all that time. Not
that all of my customers will know me;
but they. know the mare of the firm
Hooker & Smoker, of Dowgate 'lll-all
that's quite enough for 'em."
"And were you ever tricked in any of
the ways you describe?" asked another
young commercial.
Me? me tricked? Not me. Joseph
ticks was too wide awake. No; was
never caught" replied the great man.
II once caught 8 fellow in the hact of
taking the linch-pins out of my gig; but
soon stopped his game, can tell you.
That was at Charing-not Charing in
London. but Charing between Canter-
bury and Maidstone"
And did you ever play any tricks
YOURSELF" asked the first young man
who had spoken.
Mr.. Hicks slowly turned himself to-
wards the speaker, and winking his eye
several times, replied: Il should just
about think l did-many and many a
one. And now you remind me, I'll Just
tell you about one played"
Mr.. Hicks, having toasted himself to
his entire satisfaction, now condescended
to let some of his companions see what
the fire was like, settled himself slowly
and ponderousIy down into the chair
which, by .prescriptive right, belonged
20 the senior traveller in the room. took
long sip vt his grog, and, with pre-
]iminary clearing of the throat, began:
ut was in 'forty-two, and it's strange
thing, but it was in this very identical
place. There was cocky, stuck-up
young fellow of the name of Brown
smith travelin' for Stokes & Nokes,
Great Tower street, in the same
line as mine. He 'adn't been ERE afore.
and didn't know who was: so SAYS to
| myself, iii just take a rise out o. YOU.
my young popinjay; see if DON'T"
At that moment the great mans mar
ratiye was interrupted by the entrance
| of little old man dressed in black, who
| observing that the seats round the fire
were occupied and that nobody offered
to make room for him, sat down at
side table and cOrnmoncod m sxyr;fo 1ot