Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-04-24
THE BARBER ON THE IRISH.
He Says the Subject is Utterly Beyond
the Comprehension of His Assistant.


'SubbOse chendleman should efiery
tay bead his wife und her screams should
make oxsidement uf der neighbOrhOOt,o
said the German barber near the Cooper
Institute yesterday; s'uf course der
voman's reladifs would at dot chendleman
write lnsulding ledders, und some of der
nelghborS would OXbresS SYMPATHY nit
der boOr woman by hart words or sdOnes
or such dings. Dot habbenS effery tav.
Dot yife-beading chendleman is highland
und dot screaming wife is Irelant. Der
reladlfs peen der Irish in America, und
der nelghDors peen der American beeble
chenerally.
sven highland COMPLAINS of vot is sayt
und done Oter here We should CRY back.
'ShdOp beading your vife-yOu gread pig
pully; shdOp beading your vifev Ven
Chermany and Austria say, like dem did
last week, dem hobe der Americans please
sdOp der free sbeech und money raising
und dynamite und such dings, on ac-
cound dot is making Owit of IreIant an
UNPLEASANT example py der rest of Eu-
robe, We must CRY back, Make highland
shdop beading his wife,
''Py shiminy hOoky. der crowned wood
en- heads uf Eurobe aind pegun to see vOt
noOSance und drubble America will peen
to her yet hereafter alretty. Eurobe is
like little willige of apowd dwenty old
families composed, and all dem families
hat doc pig grown for der original farms
und shlOpped Offer into America a crowd
of reladits. Der gutfermend uf dot will
1ge is lot of kings und gweens vich are
back of lOavers vot lif on der
old families, I'm der same dime
dreat 'em like der tetfil. A telegraph
gable uf SYMPATHY is lait der poddom uf
der ocean under, und ven plOw is at
hberdy sdruck der oder Site yOuwill hear
der screams uf der reladifs, choOst as ven
you Dress der button on Won ent of dele
graph wire yOuihear der consequences by
der oder ent. Der faindesd CRY for hellup
VIII peen answered here right asay, nit
money bublicly, ind privately Il leedie
dynamide, perhaps.
"Und ven der kings and gweens COM
blaln, dem should always der same answer
get: Der drOuble is not here alretty. Els
on your site uf der pig swimming bOad.
Don't gomblain of der echo. You will rot
near 1t If you sdOp der Oritchinal noise
Dot monkey harper by der negst shair,
he says der Irish gwestiOn looks like it
Will soon peen zettled if all der Chenerals
Ply der patriot army come to dis gundry
and all der high brifates git locked nit
Pritish chails up
'Der idea Of such monkey Teller dry
ing to dackle such a pig subshect is as
much fOOlishneSs as if a vOn-eyed man
should dry TO see der bOte sites of himself
luf tergedder. His olt farder saws he Is
like der shmard Cherman poy vich to bur-
chase a horse away from a Chew. Il know
how to told goOt horse he sayt; 'all vot
has got to peen done is to look at his
deeth.' Der Chew horse brought ovid
vich berfect deeth had, and sVOre peside
der CRATE of his farder der animal peen
choostas sound as der olt-fashioned ii fe-
cent bieces. Der shmard poy bald der
brice, and der horse dock away, but ven
his farder saw him he CRIED ovid, wy dot
horse has only dree legs gOt.'
Spy shimminy hOOkyr der poy had
sayt, I forgot to COUNT his Iegs.',