Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-07-11
HUMORS OF THF DAY.

10 IL tDo Gully w pltuICu ,lust " uAt
style of parasol will be fashionable the
rs usual, just high enough to rake out
a mans eye Rome Sentinel.
She sang, 81 want to be an angel,n
aud he swore she was one already. To
this she blushingly demurr,d. Then
he married her. Demurrer sustained.
= Cincinnati saturday Night.
There were no politicians killed in
the recent bridge disaster in New
York. There is nothing strange about
this. Politicians may be killed on a
fence, but never on n bridge -1Hontd
Constitution.
Brigham Young's grave is utterly
neglected and his widows never visit
it. They went there once to cry over
his remains, but it made the ground
so sloppy they all caught cold.-Lds
Icgds optic.
The five or six American dailics
which pooled together to get spur
geon's sermons by cable are the wick
eldest of the whole lot, but even bur
glars are enterprising in this country.
= Detroit Free Press.
Harper's Bazaar says widow should
be married in "A bonnet. She would
have to be an exceedingly diminutive
widow for the bonnets nowadays are
not big enough to marry mouse i'll
Said the citizen of the country town
whose house was atire: For heaven s
sake get the two fire companies to
| fighting, and then We may he able to
save something. If they get in here
they'll destroy everything. ~ oston
! Post.
In digging canal across Florida ii
! is found that the work will not require
| anv locks. And even if it WAS full Of
locks and the lecks wouldn't work
| they could send out and get the Flori-
da Keys.-PittsbWyh Tettgra)h.
In preserving meat il is first sailed
and then smoked; bat The young man
OF the period who would preserve his
manlness thinks he must reverse the
process, and the smoking is made to
precede the Understanding .-Boston
| Transcript.
Sara Bernhard say in her book that
she was not very pretty as a girl. we
can believe it, We imagine that Sara
at IL wears OF age might have looked
something like the afternoon shadow
of patent fire escape. -NeW orleans
Picogune.
why do you put the big strawber.
ries on the top of the box?' asked q
Philadelphia housewife. Because the
big ones are very mellow, and il pul
on the bottom they might be crushed, =
replied the dealer complacently-
! PhHadeiphid Ne,cs.
Many NewYork society people went
to Boston this year to help celebrate
The Battle of Bunker Hill. They
would have gone frequently in the
past. but they did not know before
that that hattie was won by the Eng
!ish.- PhiiadeLphia Neacs.
:. Near at hand portions of this STATE
are suffering severely fromthe Hessiar
tiv. Itis all very welt to read in his
tory Of the revolutionary war how oul
brave great grand-fathers made the
Hesslan fly, but look at the bother thu
bug makes. The -ctegrdl7h.
, When Brown failed TO catch I
) Young lady who slapped his hands y
z Copenhagen, Fogg remarked that !
} was quite a marine disaster. IA smaei
) lost. YOU know lie explained in an
, swer 10 the interrogaiing glances lev
: eled at him from all sides. - Bosf0'
Transcript
'.My DEAR said Rather, at the te
! table. looking up from his evening
/ paper. This French China troubl
+ looks Serious YES said Mrs, r.
bridget broke the haudle off the sug
: ar-bowl to-day; but didn't think yo
5 would notice il SO soon.--Boston con
4 Ter.
Swimming is becoming favor,l
amusement with the New York ~
!. dies. 1t has long been known .nn
husbands Of New York ladies ovr
!; iipd it difficult TO keep tnem ans
. Leads above water, and now in,isriN
: their wives will help them i'o"''''
SOiy 80 =. "a, AL.