davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-25

"WHAT SHALL American artists
paint?" asks an art journal. We'll, a
great 10 any should be put to work paint
ing fencaE or sipna ON rnnks
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
PUSSY WILLOW.

Oh. you pussy willow! Pretty little thing.
Coming with the sunshine OF the early spring
Tell me, tell me, pussy. for want TO know,
Where Il Is you come from. how Il IS you grow
Now. my little grille. II you'll look at me
And my little sisters, am sure you1l see
Tiny, tiny houses. out OF which We peep
When We iirsi are waking from our winters
sleep.
This is where we come from. How 1t is we
grow.
will try my grille. now TO let you know:
AS the day grow milder, out we put our heads.
And we lightly move US In our little beds
Find the world so lovely. as We look about,
That we each day move little farther out;
And when warmer breezes OF the spring-timc
blow,
Then we little pussics all to catkins grow.
ELLA GARDNER In 81. Nicholas for February.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
HAD SUFFERED ENOUGH.

A gentleman was arraigned before An
Arkansas justice on charge of obtaining
money under false pretenses. He had
entered a store, pretending to be a GUS
toner, but proved to be thief.
"Your name is Jim Lickmore," said
the justice.
eyes sir"
"And you are charged with crime
which merits long time in the penitsn'
tiary."
"Yes, sir"
care you guilty of the crime
clam"
"And you ask for no mercy"
"No, sir"
"You have had q great deal Of trouble
within the last two years :"
"Yes, sir; | have"
"You have often wished that you were
dead ?"
"I have, please your honor"
"You wanted to steal money enough
to take you away from Arkansaw,"
"You are right, judge"
eff man had stepped up and shot
you Just as you entered the store, you
would have said thank you. SIR"
"Yes, sir; l would. But. judge, how
did you find out so much about me :"
"Some time ago" said the Judge with
solemn air, 81 was divorced from my
wife. Shortly afterwards yc'u married
her. The result is conclusive. I dis.
charge you. Here, take this $50 bill
You have suffered enough"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
HOW HE WAS ELECTED TO OF
FTCE

"Talk about your clever campaign
lodges" said Judge Diffendorfor, as the
crowd filed out from the latest political
cat fight at Platt's hall the other nigh,
=" why, these fellows don't know the
first rudiments Of catching on with the
people"
Don't, EN-" growled Mr.. Bolts, who
was up for school director, and who had
just been called reprobate and corrup-
ZIONIST by four different speakers.
"No, sir" emphatically reiterated the
Judge. "They don't even understand
human nature-these fellows don't. All
they think of is resolutions and beer.
Now, there is Tom Gildey, Of Ken
lucky. He understood a thing or two
Tom did"
knew it all, s'pose," snapped the
doctor.
"Well, I'll just give you one instance,
continued Difendorfer "Tom was run
ming for State Treasurer few years ago.
He was nominated by split from the
regulars, and, as usual with independent
tickets, he hadn't one chance in thou
sand of being elected. Now, what do you
think Tom did,"
"sold out, s'pose," said the other
old crony.
"Not much he didn't Tom just bought
q whole gross Of umbrellas"
"And gave 'em away to the voters =
"No, sir; far from it. He just went
around and returned 'em to people, pre-
tending that he had borrowed 'em the
last rain before. Grasp the idea, don't
you ,"
"No, I'm blamed if do"
"Why, it's plain enough. You Sc, he
was up for Treasurer, and it imposed
people with an idea that he was the most
honest man in the State. The idea of a
mans actually returning an umbrella
was something stupendous. He was
elected by 10000 majority, and though
he's got richer than pork pie in office,
they call him Honest Tom Gridley' to
this day."
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
TOO MANY GENERALS.

A Detroit saloon keeper who spent
considerable money for decorations and
worked his patriotism up to the tor
round, was heard wondering if any o:
the Generals would be around to see him,
and this gave one Of his acquaintance a
clue to work on. He went off and put uT
job with friend, and yesterday morn.
ing walked him into the saloon and
svid:
"Allow me to introduce Gen. Alpaca
Smith the hero Of three wars and eighty
battles"
Sheneral, vas gladt to see you,
said the saloonist, and set 'em up fol
three.
In the course of twenty minutes the
deceiver returned with another stranger
on his arm and said
"Allow me to introduce Gen. Commls'
sary Jones, the man who fred the first
gun in the war"
"Sheneral, vas blessed to shake hands
nit you," said the man Of beer, and hi
set 'em up again.
Then the friend went out returned will
Gen. Hard Tack, and after him came
Gems. Debility and Back Pay. The las
one received rather a cool greeting, ant
the beer glasses were not quite full, ant
after he had departed the saloonist turned
to his friend and said:
"My trent, vas mooch pleased to-
see all dose great shener ais in mine sa
loon, but you needn't bring any more
to-day. From now undil night vel lie
der shenerals 60 und look out for de
fighting men. Does men always bay casi
for beer 7"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
Our R.por,er.s vacation Notes.

DURING his rambles this season, our Mr.. NJ.
has taken upon himselt the task Of satisfying
our numerous readers that whatever goods are
manufactured in our goclly city OF Roger VIII
liarns. are Of as high grade, and ne fine in quail
iiy a. can De produced in any spo; on the globe.
Especially Is this 80 when the skilled Pharmacies,
OF msny ycATs' experience resolves 70 extract
from the finest botanical specimens of the vege
table world the most potent cure for some special
disease. In proof Of his assertion that PrOvh
dence RI Affords the best, hs relates an interview
with an acquaintance. given him while soiourn-
ing temporarily at her residence. She says,
About a year suffered severely from Rheuma-
tiSm In my limbs. and Neuralgia In the head,
which l endured tVo or three months with a
much patience a possible being under the treat
u,ent ~ An excellent doctor, and trying many
kinds Il medicine without any marked effect
AT last a medical friend advised me To try Hunts
Remedy. because he attributed my severe suffer.
mg 70 the bad condition OF my Kidneys, which
were not performing their proper functions, and
commenced taking n. and In few days the
neuralgia had departed, my headache had en-
tirely disappeared. the swelling in my limbs and
POINTS had gone and have not had a touch of u
since. More recently xAs troubled With irnpu-
rjty Of the blood. which showed itself In severe
eruptions on my face. again rosorted 10 Hunts
Remedy and after taking IL a short time was
completely cured Of that complaint. Hunts
Remedy has proved very beneficial to me in At
tscks OF sick headache. which IL always allevi.
aies, and I notice the improvement as soon as
take the Remedy. This Remedy has strengthen
ing elements. for IL has made me feel much
stronger, and has been very beneficial TO my gem
eral health. most heartily recommend it to all
sufferers like myself Mrs. L. G. TASSEE, No.
lS6 Pearl Street"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
AN HONEST MANS DILEMMA.

A stranger who had made puchast
of a second hand dealer on Chatham
street grew confidential and said he would
like some advice"
"Vhell, 90 aheadt."
"If you were in my place and want.
ed to 20 into bushes here, would you
lend your money and live on the interest
or would you 80 into the second hand
clothing business :"
"My frent," replied the other with q
very serious look on his face, "let me
tole you shest like fadder. Doen' &c
into the second hand business yourself
but lend me your money and become
silent partner"
care the profits large"
Large. How much you thinks
made on dat west | sold you for 81!
make make shust l2 shillings."
"Not by blamed sight, for haven't
paid for it and won't take it !" exclaimed
the stranger as he dropped the bundle
and walked out.
"Vhell, vhellw sighed Moses as he
looked after him, "efery times tell del
truth / loose money, und every time
lie lose a customer. How can an hon.
est man make living in New York ;"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13

BETRorHED AND BorHERED.-A young
man came in to see the editor on busi-
ness. 1t was about trick of the types
that bad rather embarrassed him in re-
cent "personal." He blu.hed to the tips
of his ears as he stepped up to the society
editors table. "Good morning. What is
it, SIR" was the afabis greeting. "You
made little mistake in your announce
ment, yesterday, sir" "Very likely it
is almost impossib'. e not to make mis-
take sometimes. What was it," "You
said me and Lizzie Pipkins were bother
ed, when we we re not bothered at all.
We are betroth ed, sir. Quite difference.
And the edit u said: "Ah, / presume
you see the difference now more than
you will in the future. However. will
smooth II e matter out. Good morning
sir"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
COUSIN FALCONER.

Nothing but hasty pudding and
milk !" said libby, with a grimace.
What will mamma say -
And Hannah Ann, the raw boned,
wooden visaged servitress. uttered the
expressive monosyllable, "Humph !"
which is equivalent, in yankeedom, to
to the famous French shrug of the shoul-
der.
"It's all very well to talk" said Han
nah Ann, "but dunno as can make
quails on toast and current jelly out of
sticks and stones. I've done the best
can, and no one can't do no more"
"Is the leg of pork all gone, Hannah
Ann :" said Tibby plaintively.
Every identicale particle ont y
Hannah Ann answered, with the majesty
of druidical priestess.
"And the chickens p meekly limited
libby.
"I killed the last one Wednesday"
Didn't old Hugh bring around any
more trout yesterday pursued Tibby.
"Yes," said Hannah Ann; he
brought 'em along. But we owed him
$3.50 already, and Huge has a family
to support. So l didn't fairly like to
run up any longer account"
Sand you are quite right" said Tibby
with a sigh. "But Hannah Ann, what
are we to do :"
"That's what I'd like to know my
SELF" said Hannah Ann curtly.
Tibby was silent, drumming her pref
ty pinked tipped fingers on the kitchen
table, while her deep hazel eyes looked
intently at the old fashioned brass warm.
ing pan on the opposite wall.
"Hannah Ann, she said piteossly, al
length, couldn't you suggest something
Because when ask mamma what is tr
be done, she only cries, and says
"Write to your rich cousin, Falconer. y
And have written to him, and l only
get back checks for $40, which is tht
coolest acknowledgment Of my letters
I'd rather starve than live on such grudg-
ingly doled out charity as that DOM
you know Of some way Hannah Ann, t
make money!"
Hannah AIMS face softened, as th'
icicle softens when the winter sun strikes
it. asI.-lis .,.4 Ua. ....
"Miss Elizabeth" said she, sits
secret. Don't speak of it. But ! va
clean driv to the wall, so I've took
boarder."
| "a boarder, Hannah Ann :"
"Out in the barn chamber" said Han
nah Ann. "You see, Miss Elizabeth,
| Hannah Ann never condescended to th'
undigni6ed pet name with which her lit
tie mistress had been invested since sh'
she was ten years old.) "this house uset
| to be sort Of tavern in the old days, ,afor'
the bow window was added on, and tn
remissancy porch put on the south corner
"Jepks glen half way house," it used t
be called when ! was gal. And Their
came gentleman as used to hunt ant
fish ON these mountains thirteen year
ago. is this Jenk's glen house! !! say
he. swell, its what they used to cal
It." says /. "Can't / get accommoda
lions here" says he. "rm feared not,
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
Great Praise.

ALEERr G. MANN. Of Cottage Home, III, says
" I have been Frustrated for three or more years
With Kidney disease al times was not able 10
put ca my boots nv wife has often pulled them
on for mc. I was not - bad rs that all the time,
but never knew what it was to be without pain
la my back until commenced using Hunts
Remedy. Since began 10 take Hunts Remedy
have b-cen free from all pain, and take pleasure
In saving that IL = the hest medicine that ever
knew for Kidney and Liver diseases"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
COME ALONG.

Twas in a field by the old school house
Where the boys were sporting Wild,
noted one with a fiery eye.
Though he was but child;
And as he played upon the green
With mind and muscle strong,
Anon he'd cry to the tagging boys:
"why don't you come alonga"
So spake the lad but when he spoke.
The man was In the boy;
And now his voice round Christendom
Rings like bell o: joy
The world has taken up his lay.
And Joined bin in his song,
Now sung by nations In their march.
"why don't you come along2"
Come on pause notl It's death TO lagI
The tide is at its fioodl
For men and things are on their march
Halt never II you would;
That CRY Is in the hearts or men,
Their watchword. right or wrong;
And nations cry in every tongue,
"why don't you come alongl"
The engine and the telegraph
Proclaim II now TO man.
And he takes up the cheerful cry
Which with the boy began.
Ger wood and plains. DER earth and sea
II rings a startling song;
'ris written on the armament
"Why don't you come along?"
But yesterday IL took six men
To make a pin-but now
One little boy can do the work
When done. he scarce knows how.
How action follows thought-wc pause
Aud thlnk-and thus grow strong,
And still keep up the soboolboys cry,
"why don't you come along?"
But yesterday the reapcr's hook
Moved slowly through the grain;
Mccormick now with storms OF hooks
The harvest sweeps aniain,
And as he dives, and cuts. aud clcaves
lie joins the world wide song.
Old fogy rcspcrs tarry not.
"why don't you come aloag?"
March TO the front Is now the word
To every living man,
Say what you'll 90, and say At once.
Go. do Il, II you can.
Men sing Il, engines click it-yea,
'TIs sung the stars among
AL nature oreaihes the worlds great cry.
"Why don't you came along'"
Written by MOSES II. SEARS.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
K.uoKA.MO.. Feb. Q. sc

hAHOkA, MO, rtU' . oU'
purchased five bottles Of your Hop Bit
ters of Bishop Co. last fall, for my daugh-
ter. and am well pleased with the Bitters.
They did her more good than all the med
icine she has taken for six years.
WM. T. MCCLURE.
The above is from very reliable farm
er. whose daughter was In poor health fot
seven or eight years, and could obtain no
relief until she used Hop Bitters. she Is
Wv in as good health as any person In the
con-, try. We have large sale, and they
are ma Nng remarkable cures.
Aie n0' w. II. BISHOP & Co.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
A STRANGE FREAK

The wife OF our esteemed citizen, Mr..
John Rowell, while suffering under q
severe attack OF the Blues, tried TO COM
nit the crime OF infanticide but was pre-
vented by the opportune arrival of neigh
Dor. Her case has been considered by the
best doctors incurable, but her husband
was highly pleased when after using q
course OF Sulphur Bltters to find that she
WAS entirely cured.-Kingston HerdLd.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
uOu, How Ny BACK ACHES

How often we hear II said. Well may
the victim complain, for the Kidneys are
suffering and when that Is the case, there
il ALWAYS danger-grcat danger. Kidney
diseases, II let run, too often end fatally.
There is, however, sure cure Tor them.
Hunts Remedy IS a medicine that does not
fail TO cure kidney, bladder, liver, aud uri-
nary complaints. Even Bright's Disease
the terror of physicians, is cured by Hunts
Remedy, the great kidney and liver medl-
cine. Try it, and cure your back-ache De-
fore II terminates in something worse.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13

Jefferson said: II would rather live in
4 country with newspapers and no govern
meut than in country with government
and no newspapers" This kindly critlc-
ism was probably the result OF some rural
newspaper saying that Jefferson lett the
largest squash OF the season at the once
and that his daughter was the finest walt
zer at the Branch, aud that ne was such an
honest politician that he ought to be the
candidate OF all the parties.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13

We are In receipt OF letter from our
old friend, S. Sherson, esq, at present q
resident OF the town OF Rawlings, In the
far-of territory OF Wyoming. CDR. Graves
Heart Regulator has helped me right along,
says Mr.. Sherson. Glad TO hear 1t, old
fellow. Yours was an aggravated case o'
heart disease. The remedy you mention
does the same thing in this section, too I;
and better still, it always cures heart dis
ease.-Ndsts Weekly Letter. Ffte.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13

A London publication has paper on
"The Emotional Language Of Bees" We
had always supposed the language OF bees
to be very humdrum, though we were
aware that there was generally good
deal of emotion when they began to gestlc-
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13

Your husband is a staid man now is he
not?" asked former schoolmate OF her
friend who had married a man rather
noted for his fast habits. IL think so"
was the reply, "he staid out all of last
t.l<t
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13

wIsTARs BALsAM or WILD CHERRY
cures Coughs, Colds, Bronchitis, Whoop-
ing Cough, Group, Influenza, Consumption
and all diseases Of the Throat, Lungs and
Chest 30 cents and 81 q bottle
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
Hundreds OF thousands of men die annu-

Hundreds OF thOusanus OF nth uIt dHHu-
ally from strong drink Kansas Prohibit
tiOnist.
We never undertake TO criticise any 9TH
er editor, but we do not believe that any
man can die annually. Annually means
every year, and no man die every year, for
any great length OF time, unless he has
great deal OF practice and experience at
the business. Terds SUtiHgS.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13

Herbert Spencer considers the wear
ing of pointed-toed shoes and skin tight
trousers well defined mark of imbecil-
ity. This level headed remark treasures
us as to the soundness of Mr.. Spencer as
q philosopher.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13

Elizabeth Cady Stanton advises billiards
for the girls OF the period. II a girl ham
dies billiard cue as dexterously as she
throws stone, the man four feet 10 the
LEFT OF her is likely to have An eye poksd
out
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13

A Michigan paper says, " Bears are 60
ing to be thicker than grasshoppers in the
woods OF Michigan this winter" Dare
say. Bears are generally considerably
thicker than grasshoppers; in fact bigger
in every waY.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13

"what shall write about?" asked the
young reporter OF the managing editor
''Oh, write about the irst thing that comes
to hand" was the brief order. The scribe
drew his pay that night for an article on
s'door- or-knobs."
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13

Joseph Cook of Boston delivered
two hundred and fifty lectures during
his recent tour around the world. That
we are still on terms of peace with all
nations, save the Indians, is little re-
markable.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13

"A cabinet organ which can be taken
apart and packed in trunk has been
patented. If we have ever said anything
against baggage-smashers, we most humb-
ly apologize. Let their good work go on.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
HoP BrrEEs ARE TIE PuREsr AND Best

HOP BITTEEs ARE THE PUREsT AND BEST
BIrTERs EVER MADE.
They are compounded from Hops, Malt,
Buchu, Mandrake and Dandelion-the old
est, best and most valuable medicines in
the world and contain all the best and most
curative properties OF all other remedies,
being the greatest Blood Purifier, Liver
Regulator, and Life and Health Restoring
Aren't on earth. No disease or i'll health
can possibly long exist where these Bitters
are used, so varied and perfect are their
operations.
They give new life and vigor to the aged
and infirm. To all whose empleyments
cause irregularity of the bowels or urinary Or
gans. or who require an Appetizer, Tonic and
mild Stimulant, Hop Bitters are invaluable,
being highly curative, tonic and stimulating,
without Intoxicating.
No matter what your feelings or symptoms
are what the disease or aiiment Is, use mop
Bitters. Don't wait until you are sick. but II
you only feel bad or miserable, use Hop blttets
at once. IL may save your life. Hundreds nave
been saved by so doing. $50 Will be palu ior
a case they will not cure or help.
Do not suffer or let your friends susfer, Out
use and urge them 20 use Hop Bitters- .,-
Remember, Hop Bitters IL no vile, drugged,
drunken nostrum, but the Purest and best
Medicine ever made; the "Invalid's Friend and
Hope" and no person or family should be with
Out them. Try The Bitters today. Iss
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13

Why are you ill Why do you suffer?
Everybody knows all sches and pains, all
languor and debility are cured by Browns
Iron Bitters
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
Or THIRTY DAYS TTIAL.

THEVoLTMc BELT Co., Marshall, Mich,
will send DR.. Dyes's celebrated Electro
Voltaic Belts and Electric Appliances on
trial for thirty days to men young or old
who are afflicted with nervous debility,
lost vitality and kindred troubles, guaran-
teeing speedy and complete restoration OF
health and manly vigor. Address as above.
n. B.-No risk Is incurred, as thirty days
trial Ia allowed
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
SKINNY MEN.

"wells' Health Renewer" restores health
and vigor, cures Dyspepsia, Impotence,
Sexual Debility. 81.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-02-13
- NJ n.t aD,o fS-o
Portland, Me-, Uct -lth, ~. :. -
Price. 05 cts. (druExists). By mall, 20
cts., prepaid. Three bottles 81.
Prom the many City Tsstinonfals we
Give q Few.
CAFILLARIs CURED NE

of dapdrun antthumor, r. c. NEAL, n. D.
IL cured me OF DandruG, II. Z. :. u OUlD,
Apotneeary, corner Myrtle and Congress streets.
It's sales prove its popularity, GUPPl hlNS-
MAN 4 ALDEN, Drugxists-
M is bringing out good growth OF hair where
was bald, q. A. PARSONS, druggist GEO. z.
BEARsE, 4. II. HAMLlN, GARDINER NJ. PAR
KER J. y. LANDER
know Of its curing twelve Of nv customers OF
badness, dancrun q, &c-, 4 q. SOMERS, Barber.
IG has cured . number OF my customers oil the
above diseases, JOHN z. WELC IL, Barber.
/ am highly pleased with Cxpillaris. IL sur
passes ANYTHING ever used for the ladies' toilet,
take pleasure In recommending it, MISS III. T..
ROC EkS, HELEN ID. HIGGINS and many others
have used your hair dressing, think IL has all
Tie merits you claim for Il on your circulars
JOHN &. PROCTER, ESQ.