Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-09-19
PLEASANTRIES.

-
thing in Wisconsin.
"No LIBRARY is complete without it"
the feather duster.
A SOUND suggestion-Never turn o
deaf ear to telephone.
DO You see any grapes, Bob?" ayes,
but there is dogs" big dogs, Bob ?"
Eyes, very big" "Then come along
these grapes are not ours, you know"
"a FELLOW must SOW his wild oats,
You know" exclaimed the old Adde'S
&c t John. EYES," replied Annie, "but
oac shouldn't begin sowing so soon after
cradling."
NE Err use slang. It may not alwa Is
apply. Listen, as A. comes into b.
room. Says B.: How do you like my
new shoes?" A.-"Oh, they're i'm
mense!"
"FEw lawyers" says an English
writer, shave ever been invested with
the Order of the Garter" This shows
that that kind of garter was not intend
ed for climbs of the law. "-Bosto1s
Globe.
\ LI2roR-sELLER presented his bill
To The executor of deceased customer s
estate, asking, do you wish my bill
swnr.. to-" No." said the executor,
tho death Of the deceased is sufficient
e i,',en"e that he had the liquor.
L THOUGHT" remarked the victim,
after the dentist had dragged him
around the room several times, II
thought you advertised to extract teeth
without pain?" $50 I do, sir" replies
the OF orator, blandly; lit doesn't hurt
ME at all to yank 'em!"
my DEAR" said Mr.. Jones to his
wife, "you are mighty flee to call every
body fool Can you tell me what 0
fool looks like?" "Yes, I can, but I
wo-'t," she replied, angrily. why
Lot, l rc?" Because you can look in
tie ga and see for yourself. That's
the way I found out. Cincinnati
DrHI'. mer.
A FAGHER has been complaining to .
friend Of the family of the conduct of
his ..rciig4l son. you ought to reason
VIII lin Sc iously," says the friend of
tic family. $50 I do! SO I have" says
tie atbcr in despair, "but it has no eff
feet The Young scoundrel will listen
to u"lndy that isn't fool like himself.
I want YOU to go and talk with him!"
Tie hair of a girl employed in an
F;s t r: cotton mill was caught in the
Ma !, Il. ~, torn Off her head and ground
into bits. But the girl didn't mind il
niue She kept right on at her work
simply II marking that it only cost 81,
anyhow. This is one of the advantages
of art over nature. -NorristoWn Her.
aid.
An uninformed Irishman, heal ing the
Sphinx alluded to in company, whis
pered to a friend: sphinx? Who's he,
now?' GA monster man." 20, Mum
ster man? I thought he came from
Connaught," replied the Irishman, de-
termined not to seem totally unac-
quainted with the family.-Esaglish
TSdbits.
"MR. SPEAKER" said an Arkansas
legislator, Il am compelled to ask for o
leave of absence, having just received
telegram stating that my son has killed
q man." Just then another dispatch
was handed to him, and after reading
it he said: "The last dispatch, Mr..
Speaker, makes a correction, stating
that my son was the one who was killed.
Go ahead with your rat killing. A leave
of absence is unnecessary. "-Arkansas0
TTdUeler. 10
WHERE he weakens:
We may live without love, and live without
heart;
We may live without hope, and live without arts
We may live without friends, and live withouA
Looks;
But where is the man who can live without
cooks?
We may live without love;
What is lovcsbut rcpining?
W. may live without hope;
Wha il; hope Int Is.gnilingf
We nj y I < without friends;
v hat &c friends but dcceiving?
But civilized man '1unot isvs without dinina
From Lnciiie
TIE HOMES OF LITERARY PEOPLE.
The great literary names of the
country stand for domestic purity and
the home virtues. Irving did not mar
ry: but after Miss Hoffman's death he
lived like true knight, carrying his
heart for an invisible bride. Longfel- |
lows home was sweet and beautiful as
any poem he ever wrote. Nothing could
exceed the genial pleasantness of the |
home life of Bryant; of the Danas,
IdtHCI duu Dull VI hdWbuOTu6, whose |
gifted wife gave him so much cheer and |
ii in his work; of Bayard Taylor, and
If DIR. Holland. EmeFson's home at |
Concord was an idyl, and hard-hearted
people who visited him did not wonder
hat he talked SO loftily and sweetly,
md believed that all human beings have
IN angel side, How could he help be-
g everything noble, or believing every
hing good, who lives in paradise. -New
York Star.
In modern Egypt o young man is not
'ermitted to see his wife's face before
marriage. Many young men in modern
america complain of the same treat
nent, and say that not until the cere-
,ony 10 over and the wife washes the
llcimina off hey faae can they fall hoxv