The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-03-27
WIT AND HUMOR.

| Iherels no power on earth that can make
good citizen of a man who does not work
bob lngersoll's father could pray for an
hour. Unfortunately, it seems never to
nave entered his parental head to pray for
! Bob, r'
NOW that Gorringe has left the navy he
| ought TO tell Just where he left il. so that
| ms successor may not waste the whole sum-
ner looking for it, thoughtiully suggests
the Troy Budget.
Michigan teacher threw his boy pupils
out OF the window because thew filmed
beans at him, and the school directors have
since hired Il teacher who will allow the
boys TO mp as many beans as they please.
"A horse at Craigyile took fright at a col
ored man playing a fiddle. and ran away
ana smashed lamp.post.' The ANNA
evidently had good ear for music, but
why ne dldn't run away and smash the fid-
aier IS The strangest part of the incident.
Herald
isn't 1t about time for the local authori.
ties to sell the mule used to draw the town
hearse and buy horse Twice, lately, he
has baked and detained professions on bit.
Terry colo days Tor over an hour, and, only
last week, he kicked in the front of the We.
hlcle and seriously damaged the corpse.
feople are beginning to get enough Of this
sort OF thing, and if the authorities don't
take proper action, a citizens meeting will
be called.--tTullahoma (Tenn.) Guardian.
OfoWner's quest testimony; 81 said to
MN, 'Bllly, you have been taking NOR
phine, haven't your lie said, Yes, nv
stomach is out of order and am compelled
TO take it, | reel very bad That was yes
terday. Last night, about IL o'clock, |
went up to see him, and he was asleep and
breathing very hard. | saw him again
about o'clock and he was still sleeping
About o'clock this morning | went nm
again and found him as now, dead. | then
sent for a physician, but it was too late.
| -lGreensboro, Georgia, journal,
The 6reezes that blow over the green KEN
| lucky hills and across the turbid bosom At
the swollen Ohio are ladened with .ncgeS.
tl0hs OF coming spring. 30 the Cincinnati
iather lifts mp his voice in the midst of his
family and asks well, girls, where shall
we go to spend the summer" AS Cincin.
nati girls are not like Chicago girls, thew do
not all answer at once. but wait for the
| oldest to speak first, who, accordingly saws:
Father, | have no idea where we shall 20
| but | have n very distinct idea where wa
snail not go. We shall not 90 to any wa
terng place. ""
1t has been wisely remarked by philoso
pher VINO caught his son watching him
through a key-hole that "some bows are
more oDseryant than others" Two Brook
| lyn lads were sitting on the dock with their
hsh lines III the water, exchanging views AS
| to their plans for the future.
VI think" said one of them, "that III be
reg lar fisherman when grow up, BIZ !:
will you?" '' '
| NO. returned his companion. "sinoe
dad married an actress, guess I'll study
to be divorce lawyer. vi BROOKLYN Eagle
| James" said an eastern manufactures
OF baking powder, there is a complaint from
aoitizen of Amsterdam to the effect that
our baking powder made his whole family
seriously ill.,"
James. '''1
Lets see what did you ship to Amster
dam last week 2'
"A box Of spices, sir"
| And what to Michigan"
| Eight dozen of our half-pound cans OF
unrlyalled baking powder"
| an l see, James, you must have
made mistake in shipping, Indeed, here
Sa postal card from Amsterdam, saving
that, the baking powder was not ordered
put ne mas put 1t on sale, James,"
Let me caution you to be yery, vary
careful In future, What will kill a York
state man Will simply tickle Wolverine
half to death. That baking powder was for
the western trade, and shall look for half
dozen deaths around Amsterdam before /
can get telegram to that grocer to return
cue box."-lDetroit Free Press.