The Brookhaven leader., 1883-06-28


"Say, my DEAR" calculated Mrs.
Spoopendyke, sitting bolt upright ia
bed with sudden jerk: a. Say, my
dear, wake up! hear burglars in the
house"
"WhoP what burglars?' demanded
Mrs. Spoopcndyke, as she popped up
beside her husband. "Who is in the
houseP'
Hush! Quiet, will YEP 1 don't know
which burglar; but hear somebody
moving around"
"Oh. my! What shall we do?" in
quired Mrs. Spoopendyke. 'Let'scover
up our heads
"Why don't you get up and light the
gasp propounded Mr.. Spoopendyke in
a hoarse whisper. "S'pose you can see
who it is in the dark? Strike a light,
can't you? If you had your way we'd
both be murdered in bed. Going to light
up before we're killed?"
I'm afraid" whispered Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, sticking one foot out of bed and
hauling it in as if she had caught fish
with it.
"Going to sit there like a shot-tower
and have our throats cut?' interro-
gated Mr.. Spoopendyke. "How'm |
going to find burglar without light?
Find match and light that measly gas,
quickr'
Mrs. Spoopendyke crawled out of bed
and hunted around for skirt.
Whats the matter with ye? Can't
you find a match? Why don't you
moveP' Kissed Mr.. Spoopendyke.
Il am, as fast as cam replied his
wife, her teeth chattering. I'm look
ing for PIN
"Oh! you're moving like railroad,
amt We? l never saw anything fly like
YOU do. All you want is to be done
up in white and blue papers to be
seidlitz powder. What dye want of a
pin? Going to stick pin in the burg
iarp Why don't you light the gasp
Mrs. Spoopendyke broke half dozen
matches and finally got light.
"That's something like it. continued
Mr. Spoopendyke. "Now hand me my
pantaloOns.
"You won't go down where they are,
will you?' anxiously inquired Mrs.
Spoopendyke, handing over the gar
ments.
Mr.. SpoOpendyke vouchsafed no re-
ply, but donned the habiliments.
Now, you open the door," said he.
land go to the head of the stairs and
ask who's there while | find my stick
Hurry up, or they'll get away"
"Suppose they are there. What ii
do then?"
"Tell them that I'm coming. Go
ask 'em will ye? What's the matter
with you?'
Mrs. Spoopendyke opened the door
about an inch. squealed "Who, 5 there?"
slammed the door and popped into bed.
"What ails yep demanded her hus
band "What do you think you are,
anyhow; conical shot? Get up, can't
YOU, and look out. Where's my big
stick? What have you done with itp
Sent it to school, haven't ye? 90 out
and ask who's there. will We, before
they come up and slaughter us
Once more Mrs. Spoopendyke ap.
preached the door and TREMENDOUSLY de-
manded what was going on. There
was no response, to her incalculable re-
lief, and she went to the head of the
stairs.
"See anybody?' whispered Mr.
Spoopendyke, looking over her shoul-
| der
"Who's there?' squealed Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. $50 right away, because my
husband is here"
"Oh, you've done it, exclaimed Mr..
Spoopendyke, as he hauled her back
into the room. Now, how do you sup
pose I'm going to catch them? What
do you want to scare them away for?
| Think this nominating convention?
What made you leave the house open?
Come on down with me and I'll show
you how to lock up
Down thev went and careful scrutiny
demonstrated that everything was fast.
Il don't believe there was anybody
there" said Mrs. Spoopendyke, as they
returned to their chamber.
"It was not your fault, " retorted Mr..
Spoopendyke. 'If you had got up when
told you and kept your mouth shut,
we'd have got them"
but YOU said fer me"
Didn't say anything of the sort!"
howled Mr.. Spoopendyke; never men,
toned your name once. We might
have been killed, the way we went to
work
II think we'd caught them if they'd
been there" said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
| taking down her hair and proceeding to
put it up again.
You'd caught emf sneered Mr..
Spoopendyke. "All you want is some
| chloride of lime and your accounts
short to be in the penitentiary. Another
time burglar gets into the house you
stay abed, and don't you wake up again.
l won't have any dod-gasted w8man
routing me out this time of night, We
hearr7
"Yes, DEAR" and Mrs. Spoopendyke
wound her hand in the collar of her
liege lords night-shirt and went to
sleep, secure in his protection.-Brook-
Ign Eagle.