The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-10-17
A CLOSE SHAVE.

During the earlier years of my
medico-military career / was selected
as the assistant surgeon Of the army
tunatic asylum, then established in
one of the east 'rn count s of Eng
land. At the time of the appointment
l was given TO understand that it was
one which paid a high compliment to
my professional abilities, and was be-
slowed as reward of good services
done; but rs | did not see it quite in
the same light l went and inter
viewed the chief who had thought so
much more of me than did of him.
Sir, said |, "some men are born
to honors, Others have honors thrust
upon them; the latter is my case 1
don't understand one bit about the
treatment, moral or medical, of the
insane. / never saw but one mailman
in my life, and he, 1 verify believe. was
more knave than fool; AMI | can't
help thinking that if you send me to
the asylum you are sending the round
man to fit into the square hole
THAT is not If the slightest conse-
quence," answered he whom ! was ad-
dressing, in the richest of brOgues;
mot the laySte in lOife. Round OF
square the hole will suit to t; and if
so be that ye don't know anything con-
sarning lunatics, whoy, the sooner We
larn the better. Ye'd be PLACED to
jine without delay. Good-morning."
So he bowed me out and /, having a
wholesome dread of the powers that
were, "iined" forthwith.
1t is one of Shakespeare's wise say
ings that 4" Sc doth breed habit in a
man." Before there had passed away
many weeks of my soiourn with the
demented officers and men of Queen
Victoria's land forces | found mys elf
highly interested with their pretty and
well cared for home, running pleasant
ly in the groove | had so much OBJ
jected to, and getting rid forever and
day of that repugnance which every
outsider naturally enough entertains
when brought into contact with the
deniZens of mad-house. With pass
key which was an open sesame TO every
lock in the establishment, was accus-
toned to wander over it unattended
pg bllN hCtINl vi bllC Olutl-
lies; and never was | molested OF
spoken to threateningly save once. and
that upon the occasion | have elected
to name :" A Close Shave"
In the afternoons, when the patients
were not indoors, it was my practice t.
go through every part of the building
inspecting it sanitarily l was doing
so as usual upon certain winters
day, when, at a curve of corridor,
came suddenly upon patient leaning
gloomily against one of the pillars
He was private soldier of the Forty
fifth, or Sherwood Foresters--a recen
admission, and whose phase of insanity
was somewhat puZZling the head sur
geon and myself. Without entering
upon details, l shall merely say tina
we had doubts upon his case, and ha
recommended his removal from tn,
asylum to the care of his friends
Meantime, however, he was to b
closely watched, and no garden too,
or other implements be put into hi
hands. How he had managed to elud
the vigilance of the orderly unde
whose surveillance he had been placed
and to be where 1 met him, was on
of the things never understood. Blu
so it WAS
When he saw me his melanchOlic de
meanor ceased; he advance with rapi,
strides toward me, and l saw at one
that he meant mischief Of some sort o
other; for every muscle Of his bod
was trembling with passion, and o.
every feature of his face was picture
that of a demon / confess that fea
came over me. What was this mania
going to do? But to show appreher
sion would be fatal, so / faced hiI
boldly, and exclaimed; Halo, Ma