Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1883-06-21
THE MINISTER CALLS.
The Twins are It Hene.

The Twins are It Hene. a
The preacher he come round to
our house in the mornin' bout ten
o'clock fore Riar was up, and fore.
mad got into her company close, but.
men Bert was ON hand to muse him
while he was a-waitin', and We sot.
down like good little boys and Lee him
talk Plus at as, and he asst Bert could
he say the Lords prayer. The little
cuss shook his head and was going to
give it up, but Ididn't want him TO
think that we was condem heathens, SO
L held up my head, and he said that's
right, my little dear; viii you 'blige
me fur repeatin' il fur me, and 1 bob
bed my hesd s'renly, and begun Our
Pa who arta in-'and the old crank
stopped me and said / should say
father stead of Pa. Now what
would MY Pa say if / called him
father? He wouldn't know what in
thunder l meant, and the chances are
that I'd get dose of shingles for my
foolishness, and I told the preacher
so, but he only rolled up his eyes like
a dyin' calf and acted like he didn't
believe it. told him that Miss Jen-
kens was an old fool what got drunk
on cold tea, and ! ast him If he ever
did. Then he says it is strange how
chrischan parents can be the pergen-
tiers Of such idiotic barbarians as you
are. 'Spose he meant Ma n Pa, and
so longs he didn'tsay anything mean
didn't care, so I asst him if he didn't
think Bert was good deal like Arte-
mus Wards Kang'roo, and I reckon
it somehow tickled his nibs to think
he'd strnck new conundrum, cause
he scratched his head and said, %,
Hades, why do you think SOP and
told him cause he was amoosin' little
cuss. You see I'd seen Bert 60 down
in his pocket after q bottle of red
pepper what he allus carries, and
recoaed mebby he'd run cross the
preachers hat fore he got through,
and make things amoosin' for some
one. The old gospel-sharp nevel
cracked grin, but he says, says he,
poor creehure, do you know you have
an immortal soul to save?' well
now, look a-here,' said I, who made
Imy soul?' God did, and he will judge
lit, too,' says he. 1 told him that:
just what I thought, and I've er no
ton he's got gazip 'nuff to take carr
of it. But I told HIM that wasn'
lnothin' to what was a-woryin' m.
these days, and when he asst me wha
the trouble was, L told him how M,
didn't know whether there'd be vim
'nuff to go round at the weddin,
and she was a-wonderin' if the olf
bruisers, like him, wouldn't just a
soon take bulge in their'n. Then ht
tried to play off, and made b'lieve h'
didn't know what bulge was, and
had to 'splain to him how it wa.
Fleharty's 3 whisky at 65 cents er gal
Ion. I don't know what he would q
said cause jest then Ma come in, anG
I seen Bert winkin' for me to CONT
out, and men him went over 'cros,
the street to see how long the preach
ter'd stayed. Ireckon he changed hi'
'pinion of the twins fore he left
cause pritty soon he come to the doc
and him and Ma shook hands, and jes
as he was a-backin' out he put ON hi
hat. But he was so slow 'boutputtin
| it on that the red dust fell on lis hal
and face, and got into his eyes ana
snoot, and he begin to sneeze ant
puff and wiggle around and blov
. Isome towards Ma, and she got it u
! her nose, and then she seemed t
think that he'd been playin' a joke o'
her, and you bet-ye Ma don't neve
joke, so she jest got one hand in th
preachers hair and she made hin
play round lively for spell. Wy
she'd whack his head up against tn
baluster, and then she'd mop the hal
, floor with him and call him q deceit
} full old hypocrite, and said she wa
! glad she'd found out what sort of a
| old Henry Ward he was. anyhow
and he'd holler sister O'Garr, wins
a does this mean? and then she'd tai
: Irish at him, and sneeze and shak
him around It'll he got tired and head
v ed him for the door wlth a shove wins
r sent him clean out into the gutter
and she kicked his stove-pipe hat a1
/ ter him and swore she'd have hil
: rested for insultin' her. o, it was
, jolly old racket, I tell you. = a..
"Then men Bert went down to tt
: river and fished It'll way after Dime
e time, and course we didn't kete
nothing, but we ketched enough whe
!. we got home to make up for lost tim
. and we're mad, ell Bert? We hadn
h morn got into the house fore y
4 wished we was out. Ma grabbed n
q in the hair and fore / know'd it
n was layin' cross a back Of a cha
> learnin' to swim, and Ma was a-worl
!. in the paddle, too. Gosh! II you
= only seen her you'd a-thought she u
o a perpetual motion machine wour
up to run It'll after death. And ]
f. he was on the war-path too, and
y got Bert by the ear and tried to tai
the slack out of his pants with d
- buckle end of a skate-strap, and Ma
!. him done their level best to see viii,