Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-24
THE EVERLASTING BAD BOY
A LIrTLR FUN WITH THE PARROT.

LITTLE FUN WITH THE PARROT.
"You don't want to buy good parrot,
do you ?" said the bad boy to the grocery
man, as he put his wet miltens on the top
Of the stove to dry, and kept his back to
the stove so he could watch the grocery
man and be prepared for kick, if the man
should remember the rotten egg sign that
the boy put up in front of the grocery last
week.
eNaw, don't want no parrot. l had
rather have fool boy around than par
rot. But what's the matter with your mas
parrot? thought she wouldn't part with
him for anything"
"Well, she wouldn't, until Wednesday
night; but now she says she will not have
him around, and may have half can get
for him. She told me to go 4 saloon, or
some diSreputable place and sell him, and
Thought may be he would about suit you, 4"
and the boy broke open bunch of celery
and took out few tender stalks and rub
bed them ON Goldfish to salt them and be-
gan to bite the stalks, while he held the
sole of one wet boot up against the stove
to dry it, making a smell Of burned leather
that came near turning the stomach of the
cigar sign.
"Lookahere, boy, don't you call this a
disreputable place. Some Of the best peo-
pie in this town come here" said the gro
Gerry man, rs he held up the cheese knife
and grated his teeth as though he would
like to jab it into the youth.
"Oh, that's all right. They como here
cause you trust. But you make up what
you lose by charging it to other people.
Pa will make it hot for you the last OF the
week. He has beea looking over your bill
and comparing it with the hired girl, and
she says we haven't ever had prune, or
dried apple, or raisin, or any cinnamon,
or crackers and cheese, out Of your store,
and he says you are worse than the James
Brothers, and that you used to be three
card monte man, and he will have you ar
rested for highway robbery. But you can
settle that with pa. l like you, because
you are no ordinary sneak thief. You are
high-toned, gentlemanly sort of blk,
and wouldn't take anything you couldn't
lift. Oh, keep your seat, and don't get
excited. 1t does man good to hear the
truth from one who has got the nerve TO
tell it.
But about the parrot. Ma has been
away from home for a week, having
high old time in Chicago, going to thea
tres and things, and while she was gone
/ guess the hired girl or somebody learned
the parrot some new things to say. A
parrot that can only say Polly wants
cracker don't amount to anything. What
we need is new style parrots, that can
converse OH the topics Of the day and say
things original. Well, when ma got back
/ guess her conscience hurt her for the
way she had been carrying OH in Chicago,
and so when she heard the basement Of
the church was being frescOed she invi-
evening prayer meeting at our house.
First, there were four people came, and
ma asked pa to stay and make quorum
and pa said seeing he had two pair he
guessed he would stay in, and If ma
would deal him a queen he would have
full hand. don't know what pa meant,
but he plays draw poker sometimes.
Anyway, there was eleven people came,
including the minister, and after they
had talked about the neighbors a spell,
and ma had showed the women a new
tidy she had worked for the heather, with
a motto on it which pa had taught her,
a contrite heart beats bob-tailed flush,
and pa had talked to the men about re-
l.gious silver mine he was selling stock
in, which he advised them as a friend to
buy for the glory Of the church, they all
went in the back parlor and the minister
led in prayer. He got down on his knees
right under the parrots cage, and you'd
dide to see Polly hang on TO the wires Of
the cage with one foot and drop an apple
core on the minister's head. Ma shook
her handkerchief at Polly and looked
sassy, and Polly got up on the perch, and
as the minister got warmed up and began
to raise the roof, Polly said, 'Oh, dry up
Tho minister had his eyes shut, but he
opened one of them little, and looked at
pa. Pa was tickled at the parrot, but
when the minister looked at pa, as though
it was him that was making irreverent re-
marks, pa was mad. The minister got to
the Amen, and Polly shook hisself and said
what you giving u.s. and the minister
got up and brushed the bird seed OF his
knees, and he looked mad. thought ma
would sink with modification, and 4 was
sitting on piano stool, looking as pious
as Sunday school superintendent the
Sunday before he skips out with the bank
funds, and ma looked at me IS though
she thought it was me that had been tam
-a-,,S~ ,..;.l .bo 1arrof Gosh I navor