The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1883-05-23
WY He Che.w.ed.
Boston Giobe. "a ''' go

D. Il t
Boston Globe
She was large aud ilashy and
coarse, and more thanallthese, she
wasfat. Whenshe entepdaHigh
land car yesterday all the nassen.y
gers looked at her, and fell 70 reck-
oning up the ptoEilsO Of a travelling
SHOW with her as d leading attracs
tIon. In less than five minutes
every inmate but one had made
himselta retired millionaire, andJ
was sitting on tho piazza Of his
country residence, smoking fifty
cent cigars BY the mile. This one
exception sat opposite the leading
attraction and chewed tobacco with
a heavenly resignation on his face,
such as school boys whoatehnying
their milk teeth extracted are sup.
posed 10 wear as an exclusive!
.ttnong Che car loild % aase.stfuelt
mortals be sat and chewed the cud
of narcotic content and spat upon
the rug, living embOdimehtOf
great and only undassled.
The leading attraction gathered
her skirts around her aud cast o
look ut him that would have gone
through a cOwhide boot and two
pairs Of stockings and a withered
cork leg
Everybody expected to see him
shrivel to a mummy, but he didn't
even wilt-he only chewed and
smiled.
"Fellou," said she, "you chew
tobacco?'
He nodded.
"why do you spit in my pres.
ence2"
"Becuusc my moth is full"
"l'll not endure it; I'll call the
conductor"
"Pray don't disturb yourself; if
madam wishes to get Of / shall be
pleased to stop the car"
She looked Gatling guns and ly.
Mantle at him, but said nothing
lie spoke again, and she did not
signal the conductor she sat still
and heard him.
"If madatn will listen, | shall be
pleased to tell her Why | am oblis-
ed to indulge in this habit that is
SO hateful to her. ! do it to escape
a worse-indeed, a much worse fate.
Madam, as you are now, so once
was l."
She started and said:
"What do you nean2o ,.... 80
II was obese"
She looked scornful.
u was polysarVous."
She looked interested.
81 was, say, sinquoscent."
She was fascinated.
an other words, | was fat"
And mad wits no name for how
she looked. She tried to catch tho
conductors eye, but he was busy
staring at some girls in a window
on Washington street, and did not
I see her; she made frantic effortto
get up, but the car was in motion,
and-she was firmly wedged, SO she
was obliged to listen.
"Yes, madam, 1 was almost as
bad oS as you are now. Like you,
1 ate chilk and drank vinegar;
took arsenic and belladonna in
large doses, but they did me no
good, and in a few years l should
have been as aeshy as you are if l
had not got relief from tobacoo,-
Every time l entered a street
cur they called for another horse;
my picture was stuck up in,
all the local fairs, and labeled
The Prize Porker the soap boy
used to yell grease an extra half
hour under my window every
morning,and one time when was
sick, the boss Of an oleomargine
factory called upon my wife and
tried to get a mortgage on my re.
mains. Hesaid he had a. promise
of yours, and il he could get a
claim on mine all the associated
creameries might go to-hello!
must you goso soon2 Well, good.
by. Take my advice and go to
, chewing. 1t will help you when
everything else faiIs.n 3a5sa
The great undazzled put in an.
other quid and looked dreamily
out on the Common, and four old
maids with paper parcels and band
Ioxes came in and occupied the
seat left vacant BY the leading at
traction. l i..5panta
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