South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1883-08-31
WIZ AND IYUNIoR

Little Jack is on his fathers knee.
and kissing him affectionately. In n
tender voice tho author OF his being cx.
claims: You love me dearly. do you
not, my child? Oh, yes, love you.
because you are such q very obedient
papa
Dr. Best IS very clever, but he says
lis little daughters arguments, though
short and salutary. IRE often unanswer.
able. 0yerhear:ng discussion between
her father and grandmother, in which
her father slightly disputed some Bbl-
c.. statement. she sal !, in the most win
ming way: Papa, you may know
great deal, but God knows more. lie
knew enough to make you. besides tel
ling you what you know
Rudolph says, that once upon ,ire
colored cook expected company Of her
own kind, and was at q loss TO enter.
tain her fr:ends. Her mistress said:
'Cbioe, you must make an apology.
Good Tor missus, how can l mako il?
got no eggs, no butter. nor no noth-
in 10 make it with
At Mag ara Fails q young bride was
very much embarrassed when "a hack.
man pointed 10 her husband and said /:
do you want carriage for your father,
miss z
Ava very much dislikes thunder. which
she calls "A large. big Loise.' One day,
during shower, she ran to graduma
With don't like thunder, gramma: I
don't like it cooked nor any wayr AT
another time she asked, is Cod rolling
barrels round E
DON'T you remember me 2 Cant
say that l ever saw you before why,
don't you remember little Sammy BAN
bry, who used 10 steal your pen ches and
break your windows twenty years ago.
right here in Austin p why, certain.
ly, remember You now. And tan
ned your little hide for you. when |
caught you You bet you did. All,
those happy days will never como a.
gain
Il wouldn't eat that eusar, Mamie
you know mamma told you not said
an older sister TO little girl OF four.
'Annio Martin replied tho latter with
dignity, you just keep quiet. I'm go
ing to wait, and If hear girl within
me say, Children obey your parents
| won't cat it if don't l will
A greenborn standing by n sewing
machine at which u young lady was ut
work, looking alter nately at tho ma.
chino and its fair operator, at length
gave vent TO his admiration wiLh-'By
golly it's purity, specially tho part COW
cred with callikcr.'
Henry went one day with his uncle to
salt the sheep. The lambs were get
ting so large that their horns were be-
ginning to grow, and Henry felt OF
their beads with good dcel Of curiosi-
ty. 'Unclo john, he said at length,
what do these laminies have sticks on
their heads for 2
Mike-'Au' what are yo diggin' out
that holo for, Pat p 'Arrah an it's
not the holO I'm after diggin out! Tm
diggin' the dirt cut and LAWN the holo.,
What is that you are wearing ?,
asked Farmer John of his fair city boar.
der. oh, that is my red Jersey 'All
right was the reply; but don't 90
near my brown Jersey over in that field,
unless you are good at climbing
trees
'Patrict were you n minor when YOU
landed in American asked the natural
ization officer, No your honor was o
bricklaycr'
Two got n message for you from
Miss F--,'said waiter at a Newport
hotel TO fashionable young man who
bad been secretly copgtatulating him.
self on his fancied conquest of the heart
of the young lady in question. What
is IT. he asked with great eagcrncss,
slipping ifty.cont piece into the wal,
ter's hand. She says she'll give you
five dollars TO stop picking your teeth
with q fork at tho table.
An old lady recently received now
bonnet. Shortly after sue Sas missed
and her absence became so protrac.ed
that the family grew anxious, and iusli-
tutod n search. Finally she was dis
covered in her room, sitting quietly
with the new bonnet on. Her daueh.
% A aKNh,. ...ott.-