Omaha daily bee., 1883-04-05
There's Boston Lv. and Albany Ar.

$3.50 49,
2:30 to $40. That's plain enough"
ut Ia, is IT. snorted Mr.. Spoopen.
dyke, abandoning the table and bend.
ing his eyes on his wife. "Think
that's plain enough, do ye2 Show me
how you make It. II you've got this
thing by the tall, wiggle 1t once for
my information"
"Why," futtered Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke, you Just add 'em together.
Ought's ought, four and thrse's seven;
eight and two's ten, put dewn the
ought and carry"
Garry swill to the hogs!" roared
Spoopendyke, bracing himself In his
seat and surveying his wife with mar
ked disapprobation. That's about
az much as you know anyway. WHAT'S
Boston got TO do with III What In.
terest has Lv. and AR. got la this
thing2 Got some kind of a notion
that they own the road, haven't ye7
P'raps ye think ones a tunnel and the
others q bridge. Well they aln't, and
they're not hslf.baked females who
don't know a time table from a dog
law. Now, you let mo figure this
thing If you don't want to spend
the balance of your precious life on
the road
Certainly DEAR" oooed Mrs.
Spoopendy Ike, nesting up to her hus.
baud and glauclng around the car to
sec il he had been overheard. "You
oan make 1t out If anybody cam"
"Now, we started from New York
at 1890 \. M" continued Mr.. Spoop.
endyke, land We got to Buffalo at
1916 a. m. Then, according to this,
we leave Buffalo at 1876 and 1910
for Chicago. What I want to know Is,
why we leave Butfalo twics2'
II suppose it's to make sure of get.
ting away from there" suggested Mrs.
S~poopendyke, fastening her thumb
and forefinger on the margin ofthe time
table with a death grip IN ,ybe the
engine leaves at 1895 and the last car
at 12:4O," she added, as the new OK.
PLANTATION occurred to her. Anyhow,
1t is better to get away from there
twice than stay there altogether, don't
you think so dear2" and she looked up
at him c%onfdingly.
"S'pose anybody along the line Of
this road knows what you are driving
Az" snarled Spoopendyke, hauling at
his end of the time table. "Let 60,
will ye2 Engine leaves at 1896! Last
car leaves at 1910! That's the Idea!
1t took you to hit II! When I get
time to fix you up with o oowcatcher
and q schedule of cut rates, I'm going
to start an opposition road with you!
Now let this thing alone, l tell vel"
"There it is!" exclaimed Mrs.
Spoopendyke, flushing with another
discovery. "Ive got 1t now! or
course we've got to leave Buffalo twice
to get to Chicago twlce!" and Mrs.
S~poopendyke settled herself back and
regarded the table with much com.
p%!acenoy.
"Oh, you've got it," roared Spoop.
endy Ike. That explains IT.! This
railroad Is twins! Leaves everywhere
twice and gets everywhere twice!
Nobody would have ever found 1t out
but you! All you want now is a mis-.
placed switch and a coroner's inquest
to be q through trunk line!. Can'tyou
see that it's Two different trains that
get In there at 7:402 S'pose they only
run one train on this dcd gasted road2
Got q notion hat the tram goes both
ways at the same time2 l know all
about getting there as well as you do,
but what / want to understand Is how
this train leaves Buffalo twice. Got 1t
now2 Think you've fathomed my de-
sign On lhin time taole2"
HPey naps tNere sre two different
trains GU, at b ffLoT" hazarded Mrs.
~Spoopendyke.
Mr.. Spoopendyke deliberately tore
the time table into a Thousand pieces,
dropped them carefully under the
seat, buried his hands In his pockets,
and gazed out Of the window.
II don't care" soliloquizsd Mrs.
Spoopendyke. "There can't two
trains arrive anywhere without leav-
ing some place, and, anyway, 1 sup
pose we'd get to Chicago just as we'll
II we didn't understand about this
Buffalo affair.""
With which oonsoling reflection,
Mrs. Spoopendyke settled herself In
her seat and gave herself up to con-
slderlng how that girl on the other
side of the aisle would act If she knew
how much her laughing and loud talk
Ing with her escort offended the more
virtuous minded os her sex.
Mr.. F. w. Fisk, money clerk ofthe
American Express office, Kansas City,