The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-05-12
WHAT THEY SUFFERED.
Timothy Green Related the Miseries He FIX
perienced on His Bridal Trip.


.perienced on His Bridal Trip.
"Say, what kind of hotel do you keep"
said green looking man, as he stepped up
to the hotel counter and registered his name,
Timothy Green and added land wife" after
it. "Can new married couple settle down
here for two or three days and have a quiet
visit with each other, and not be scared out of
their boots ?"
The hotel man said they could go right to
their room and stay there three days or three
weeks, and never come to their meals if they
didn't want anything to eat. "But what is
the matter? Have you been annoyed" asked
the hotel man.
"Annoyedl That don't express it. We
were married day before yesterday at ST. Paul,
and went to hotel. | live about 90 miles
west of St. Paul, and the travelling men put up
job to make me tired. There were about a
hundred of them showed in at St. Paul, and
I'll be darned if they didn't keep us awake all
night. They knew we were bridal couple,
and they bribed the bell boys and porters to
let them act for them. | rung for a chamber
maid to clean up the room aud bring up some
towels, and ii was about halt an hour before
she came, and went down to the office to see
about my trunk, and the chambemad stayed
about hall an hour, and was very interesting.
and my wife said she wss a real pleasant, af-
tectionate sort of creature, far above her sta
ton, and tell you | was mad when | found
out that il was a smooth-iaced handsome
young Jewish drummer for a Milwaukee
clothing house, who was in with the gang, and
he gave the chambermaid So to loan him an
old dress SO he could play chambermaid.
When my wife told me that the chambermaid
patted her on the cheek, and said she was the
sweetest bride that was ever in the hotel, and
asked for kiss, and my wife said she thought
it would be no harm to kiss poor chamber
maid, and encouraged her, | wanted to kill her.
While we were at supper somebody got iAto
the room and put cracker crumbs into our
bed, and we found cold oil. cloth floor mat
over the top sheet, enough to freeze anybody.
But the worst was at night. We had lust got
comfortably in bed when there was a knock
at the door, and got up, and the Waterman
was there, and he said he wanted to point out
to me the fire escapes so could get out in
case of fire, and | went out in the hall and he
took me way out to the end OF the building to
show it to me, and while | was looking out of
the window my vile came running down the
hall and begged me to save her. | asked her
what was the matter, and she said as soon as
went out man that looked like a porter
came in the room and told her to fly and save
herself, and to follow her husband. She felt
awful when she found there was no trouble,
and we got back into our room half froze.
They woke us up several times in the night to
tell us what to do in case we were sick and
in the morning, before we were up, a waiter
brought up our breakfast. He said the land
lord sent it up, and he Just stood around until
we had to sit up in bed and eat breakfast.
thought at the time that it was kind in the
landlord to send up our breakfast, but when
found that the waiter was travelling man for
a reaper factory at Rockford and remembered
how darned impudent he looked at my wife
could have murdered him, but the clerk said
he had gone to Winnepeg. 1t was Just about
as bad coming down here on the sleeping car,
and think half the passengers on the car
were those same drummers that were showed
in. 1t was colder than Alaska, and would
order extra blankets, and they would steal
them. had more than 20 blankets put on
the bed and in the morning there was nothing
but sheet over us. And every time there
was a blanket spread over us there was diff
ierent porter put it on, and think they were
all travelling men. Every little while some
body would pull open the curtains and sit
down on my berth and begin to pull off his
boots, and would tell him the berth was oc-
cupied and that he must have made mistake,
and he would look around at us as innocent
as could be, and ask our pardon, and then go
out and damn the porter. Once felt some
body feeling about my berth and asked what
was the matter, and the fellow said he was
looking for my wie's shoes to black. Then
about every IS minutes the conductor would
open the curtains, and hold a red lantern in
and ask for our tickets l think theypunched
my ticket 65 times. Any way it looked like
porous plaster when got up in the morn
ing. | think it was the travelling men, who
were playing conductor, but was sleepy and
thought the best way was to let them punch
it. Well, about o'clock in the morning
somebody punched us and said it was time to
get up, as all the passengers were up and we
would have bre Aklast. And then we hustled
around and got dressed the best we could,
laying on our backs and kicking our clothes
up in the air and catching them on ourselves
when they came down. | got my pants on
wrong side before, and my wife lost her hair,
and had to tie handkerchief around her head,
and then we had our berths made up and sat
up till daylight, and the porter found my
wife, hair and pinned il to the curtains of a
berth occupied by pres cher from Oshkosh,
and he kicked and got mad, and talked about
it, wondered how it came there, and he swore
about it, and | think he travels for an Oshkosh
carriage factory Oh, | never had such a
night or two such nights, in all my life, and
what / want to know is, il can be quiet here,
II Ia