The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-05-16

rected Sgt. Growler to act as sec'y pro tenn ;
aud the gentleman, with low growl, took
the position assigned him.
The minutes of the last meeting were
read and dsapprovei, owing to tho un-
grammatical construction of the sentences.
By unanimous vote, they were placed
upon THE BLOCK OF ZOE until the next
meeting, when the regular Sec'y will be in
attendance. The reading Of excuses was
next in order. Sgts. Lily and Swell made
piteous appeal to the club, begging that
their absence might te excused, on &C
count of their liquid condition. Sgt. Horn
blower preferred a similar request, on the
ground that he had sustained severe con-
cussion caused by grand and lofty tum-
bling. LIST Ii. Puff claimed the indulgence
Of the club, in consideration of the fact
that his uniform had not arrived, and the
exigences OF the service required that he
appear in a lieutensnts full uniform.
A general discussion then took place as
to the admissibility of these excuses, dur
ing which terrible racket at the door was
heard; this being inquired into proved to
be caused by Sgt. Hornblower, who, hsv-
ing forgotten the pass word, was banging
his head against the door in frantic and fu-
tile rage. He was admitted by order of
the president, and explained that after hav-
ing written his excuse he felt better, and
resolved to report in person. Continuing,
he said that his fall was due to the fact that
a villsinous disciple of Bacchus had sub
stituted spe water for blue lick, and in
consequence, his brain became befuddled,
and fall WAS the result. The president
having put the question "Shall we receive
these excuses as validi" the club, by un-
unanimous vote refused those OF lst 1t.
Puff, Sgt Lily and Swell, and it was order
ed that they be fined the regular amount
eight cents; and that Sgt. Hornblower be
excused provided he produce the man who
had effected the substitution which had
BUNDLED him to the dust. The president
then asked ii any member had charges to
prefer, when thirteen members rose stimuli
taneously and addressed the chair. After
declaring that they were all out of order,
the president said that only three or four
complaints would be received at any one
meeting. Sgt. Hornblower being given
the floor, stated that he had noticed Sgt.
Lillys intimacy with two or three mem
bers of an organization in direct antagon.
ism to the N. I. L. and asked that the mem
Der be publicly repremanded before the
club, and that such action be made suf-
fcent cause for expulsion, should it occur
again. Sgt. Blank desired the president to
request the City Fathers to pass an ordi-
nance, making il criminal for any person
owning carriage or conveyance of any
kind to refuse to hire it for the use of the
public; he and his lady having been obliged
to walk four or five squares the other day,
during rain storm, on account of the
lack of conveyance. Sgt. Growler com
planned that the driver of street Car had
refused to accept as FARE blue chip, and
asked thai the club take action in the mat
ter, and ascertain the legality Of such pro-
cedure.
The business meeting was then adjourn
ed and, as it was early, the president pro-
posed that those members who we're quail
fed should contribute to the general enjoy
ment. Sgt. Clarion then played "Teufel's
March on the mouth Harmonics; the
demi-semi. quavers were executed with the
skill and attention to detail which makes
this gentlemsn's performance so admirable
in every respect. Sgt. Mercury followed
with a parody on a sermon, taking these
lines as his text:
lucIC was III Oiu WIN llNCu III u
shoe" &c. The subject was well and pow
erfully handled; each separate "head" was
admirably treated; the Sgt. displayed the
versatility which procured him his soub
riquet, and his mercurial flights Of fancy,
and bis application of the moral to his fel
low-townsmen, caused roars of laughter
among his coNyREREs. Sgt Jack then
sang HE watched her" in fine under
ground voice. This gentleman is not de-
pendent on his NOTES, but sings without
them the closing strains, ending in the
sub-cellar, were warmly applauded. He
was succeeded by Sgt. olympic, who read
"0ur Modern Spinster." The gentleman
began by referring to the Ancient Splnster,
who sat at a window all day, and engineer
ed sewing machine. Speaking of the
Modern Spiuster, he said: "Tne Modern
Spinster is the double concentrated essence
of unamalgamated acidity, and combines