The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-25
FILTERED PLEASANTLY

This weather is very discouraging to the
spring.poet.
The lily is out ont of fashion The Lang
try gave the flower bad name
Vanderbilt and Gould will retire when
they get little more money.
The contingent fee lawyer takes all the
money in sight. His client gets the salts.
faction.
The greet beauty Of a cold snap is that it
keeps the street band from going around
grinding Spring, Gentle Spring
Punish your children US much and as
hald as you want to- 1t will please the
neighbors and doesn't hurt yourself.
The mother of Josh Billings is 92 years
old. She evidently resolved to live until
her son learns how to spell.
Florida is in the midst of melon season.
Does this news make you banker for q collie
that would twist you up like n doughnu,? -.
The Cncinnatians call everything that
has noise to il a musical festival" from
the visitation OF hand-organ to a week OF
grand opera.
Mr., ralmage's idea of heaven is that it
will be an eternal exhibition OF psalmody.
There would be Il psamness about tina,
which could not help being monotonous.
We do not pretend to know where Wig.
gins obtained such perfect knowledge OF
our Wiie's temper, but the storm on. Friday
was terrible one.
Room at the Top"-Three dollars q
week, one towel a day no weather-strips
steal your soap. Oh, yes, sonny, we know
all about that Room ut the Top"
1t is always the small boy. who doesn't
know enough to spell "cat, who can EEK
nj a
by Hermann or any other magician.
II have no wealth." she said al can give
you only my hand and heart And then
he thought that, ii her heart was us big as
her hand, she was indeed wealthy.
"What is a 'masher!'" asks an exchange
Well, when one train attempts to pass
another coming in an opposite direction OIL
the same track, we have pretty good illus
tration Of "masher.'
The young man who called on his girl the
other night AID mistook the cat for the
chair cushion and sat down on it,, says be
had no idea u cat could come up to the
scratch on such short notice
lie is born genius who, when going Out
in full.dress, succeeds in tying white era
vat around his standing collar without
having the bow SHIFT around under his eaI
or the whole business work up over the col
| lar on his neck.
Victim 20 DENTIST" Good heavens
man, that is the second sound tooth yo,
have pulled" Dentist Ito victim)- -" beg
your pardon sir, but as you had only tire,
when commenced, think | shall max,
no mistake this time"
SThe papers are all Laughing because
Sunday-school scholar, when asked VIVA
was the best thing in the world, answere,
| Pie The child was not so far wronI
after all, for what can be better than pie
eaty?
a certain little three-year-old likes yer,
much to 20 to church, and especially enjoy
the singing. One day the choir sang, "Rocl
of Ages, cleft for me-" and after she go
home the little one was heard singing, yer,
seriously, Rock the Babies, kept for me.
"ln Mr.. Robert Buchanans new pla,
the hero snowballs his rival to death" !
is very cold day for rival when he get
left in such a cold and fatal manner. TIL
villain OF the play should have his skull
split open by boy on clipper knockin
his legs from under him. Amy other super
iluous characters in the cast might be mad
to shake through an air-hole.
The brain of Gambetta weighed less tina
thirty.nne ounces. From carefully pie
pared article OF brain.weights, II appear
that the brain of an adult male average
about fifty ounces, though it is impossible
TO read an English quarterly review with
out reaching the conclusion that the brai
of each writer weighs about aton-judgin
from the weight OF the articles that emanat
thereirom.
Beccher says the most beautiful person h
ever saw was "a black man redolent wit
DiptN ~ That sounds prptty hut If Rppphp