Morning journal and courier., 1883-08-18
The squatter at Church.
Fhe Organ and tEne Choir are Too Much
 for Him.

| Fhe Organ and tEne Choir are Too Much for Him. [Frcm the Arkansaw TraYeller.l The other day an old squatter came to the city and attended divine services at 8 fash | ionabIe church. He sat uneasily on cush- ion, and when the organ began to rumble his | hair began to stand up. Turning to man who sat near him he asked:
 ''What sorter artickle do you call that ?" "Thats the fatted cal. .baEl ling" the man replied. l the projikin son op.'
 srYes they killed one but have raised an- other.''
 The deep tones of the organ roared like a storm behind the scenes, and the old squat l ter, with wink of his dry looking eye, said :: 'sMust be paving the groun' now. He's mad as hornet. Sorter lettin' up-now he's dewn on it sgin. Now they're twistin' his tail. Jingo! how he fings up his head in the ar. Now they're givin' hlm rope. Let him sWing-hold him !''
 The choir burst forth in melodious air, and the old fellow sat for moment in seem- ing admiration, then turning again to his newly formed acquaintance, he said: Fret ty good singin', but sorter slow. They don't seem ter git right down to the work. Now look at that bald headed feller. He's dodgin pints right along, an that other feller with them Bhiskers like goat kain't keep up
 
 all O them Wouldn't ketch anybody leavin' Nick Muggles, feller that sings at our church Why put him up thar with that turn out and he'd go on an' transack his business an' get through an be ready fur all sorts o'fun 'fore that bald feller an his crowd got nowhar on the road. Nicks what call a singer, an CT fiddler he can knock the everlastin' spots offen it. Why, he can make fiddle call hogs, an talk like 8 10-year-old boy an CT bango, huh. He can make it chuck so plain that the horses in the neigh porhood start off, Wish he was here to-day. Look how that bald headed feller's bIack1n' up, will yer? Elf was him I'd quit. Now he's sorter peartenin' up. Look at the gal CT climbin', will you and iing, see the goat whiskered feIIer pitch after her. Hanged if he aint maxim it lively for her. He'd CT catched her ther of she hadenter dodged. Dinged if he ain't got her now. Now he's got by her. There he goes like skeered rabbit The gals droppin' back now, an is goin' along with the bald-headed feller. Hello, look at that fat man puffin' along Look at him climb will yer2 The gals gittin' un- easy agin. Look at her prance. There she goes after the goat wbiskered feller. There they all go, bookety, bookety. Now they're all together. See 'em walk along. Helloa. they've stopped"
 The old felIew listened with wrapt atten- tion to the sermon, occasionally nodding in approval or shaking his head in uncertainty. When 8 man with the contribution box ap- preached, the squatter asked:
 ''What's up?''
 "We are taking up a collection for the heathen, and as you seemed to be so much interested in the sermon, I didn't know but you would like to give 8 few dimes :"
 ''What's the matter with the heathen?"
 s'Why he doesn't know anything about the gospel, and we want to raise money enough to send it to him"
 ''WaII, tell yer. don't think he'll spile afore mornin'. I've got hoss swap on ham, an of ken git huff boot, come aroun' an we'll sorter look inter the matter"
 'tBut, my friend, the heathen children need clothes.''.
 ssSo does mine, by jingo. Bill ain't wore nuthin' but shirt for six months, an' haster to stay outen. perlite sciety; Ike's got va cancy in his br1tches biggern yer hat, an' Jack haster stay under the house when a stranger comes, case he got his clothes scorcRed durin' hog hllin' Come aroun' arfter the swap, fur don't think the heath ems will spiIe fore mornin'."