davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-11-03
NUMBER 13.

students. A professor on one occasion
was lecturing to his class on the means
diagnosing disease by the external APP
pearanee, face, and other details of the
patient. Expressing his belief that a
patient before the class afforded an ex-
ample of the practice in question, the
professor said to the individual:
'Ah, you are troubled with gout!"
"No, sir" said the man; "I've never
had any such complaint"
But" said the professor, ''your
father must have had govt"
"No, sir,n was tue reply, ''nor my
mother, either"
"Ah, very strangely said the profess
sor to his class. ''I'mI still convinced
that this nan is a equity, subject. L see
that his front teeth show all the char
acters which we are accustomed to
note in govt"
"Front teethl" calculated the pa
tent.
"Yes,n retorted the professor; ''I'm
convinced my diagnosis is correct.
You have govt, sir"
"Well, that beats everything" re-
piled the man; ''it's the first time |
heard of false teeth having the
govt. I've had this set for ten yearsln
The effect of this sally on the part
Of the patient, upon the inquisitorlal
professor and his students may be bet
ter imagined than described.
There are examiners, and examiners,
Of course; some stern, others mild and
encouraging; some who try to discover
what a student knows, and others
whose aim appears to be rather that of
calculating the ignorance of the candi-
who appear before them. But to
5he end Of time there will be humor
mixed with the grave concerns of test
ng knowledge, which is for both sides a
lard enough task. The student who,
when asked by a stern examiner what
would recommend in order to pro-
luce copious Precipitation in a patient,
"I'd make him try to pass an
examination before you, sirl" had a
Ieen of humor, which it is to be
loped the examiner appreciated. His
was in keeping with the ques-
ion which has been argued by us and
~ others, whether the whole subject
# examinations, as at present conduc-
should not be thoroughly over
and revised.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-11-03
Humors of Examinations.

AS a rule college examinations are
not regarded by the outside world as
occasions on which a display of humor
may be expected. But if exceptions
prove the rule, then may examinations
claim to afford a very rich fund of lu-
dicrous incidents.
One of the frequent causes of humor
at examinations is, of course, the ignor-
ance of students.
A person was once asked to answer
the question:
"Who was Esau?"
His reply was highly characteristic.
"Esau," said he. twas a man who
wrote fables, and who sold the copyright
to a publisher for bottle of potash"
The Confusion of Esau and Esop,
of copyright and birthright, and pot
tage and potash, is an example of hui
NOR of by no mean an unusual class.
Another student was asked to give
some account of Wolsey. His reply was
very unique:
"Wolsey was a famous General who
fought in the Crimean War, and who,
after being decapitated several times,
said to Cromwell: "Ah, if l had only
served you as you have served me, /
would not have been deserted in my old
age"
In an examination destined to test
the general knowledge of young lads
about to enter the ranks of professional
student-life, a series Of questions was
put as tests of the reading of the can
didates. The following were some of
the replies from the aspiring youths:
"What vas the Star Chamber"
"An astronlOnomer's room.n
''What was meant by the year Of Ju.
bilee?"
Leap year."
"What was the Bronze AgeP"
"When the new pennies became cur
rent coin of the realm"
"What are the ''Letters of Junius?"
Letters written in the month OF
june"
"What is the Age of Reason?"
''The time that has elasped since the
person of that name was born"
Incidents of a highly ludicrous ma
ture frequently occur in the examina-
ton of patients, both by doctors and
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-11-03
Vegetables Grown in a Desert.

The site of the town of Hawthorne,
on the Carson and Colorado Railroad,
is apparently naught but a bed of
sand-a stretch of desert, pure and
unadulterated. The sterile appearance
of the place strikes all visitors at once,
and it Vas this arid and starved look
seen upon the face of all that section
that discouraged many who went
thither with the intention of buying at
the time of the founding of the town
and the auction sale of lots. One
would suppose that ''white beans''
would not SO much as sprout in such a
soil, OF, rather, shadow of a soil, but it
turns out wholly different. We we're
shown a box of vegetables sent to Su-
perintendent Y%erington, of the Virgin
la and Truckee and Carson and Colora-
do Railroads, that was a great surprise.
There were the finest of tomatoes, po-
tatoes, cucumbers, beans, &C., and all
grown in the soil of the town OF Haw-
thorne. The vegetables were
grown by a merchant of Haw-
thorne. He says: Il came to Haw-
Jhorne on the 10Th of March last, built
my residence, and commenced garden
ing April IL. People here would smile
and say: You will find your seed down
near the lake shore.' But L thought
different and everybody can see the
result. Hundreds of people come to
see my garden and all are astonished
at the growth. L have raised corn,
string beans, radishes, lettuce, toma-
toes, potatoes, cabbage, cucumbers,
squashes, pumpkins, and quite a kitch-
en- garden in all. My tomato vines
are eight feet high and are literally
covered with fruit. | have taken 10
dozen and s cucumbers from one vine
and have lots more left and coming.
In fact 1t is perfectly wonderful. All
can come and see for themselves. All
we want is water. Givs me water
enough to irrigate five acres and it is a
little fortune. | will quit merchan-
dising and go TO farming" This is really
quite a discovery. The ground on
which the town stands Vas once coY-
cred by Walker Lake. 1t would be
well worth while to have this soil care
fully analysed. Besides what is said
in the letter, we are told that he has a
hop vine that nearly covers his house.
1t is loaded with hops, and the stem
near the ground is as big as an ordinary
grapevine. In irrigating the ground
a small hose with a sprinkler on the
nozzle was used. The quantity of water
used vas not large. Next season
Hawthorne will probably be the garden
town of Nevada. All the people will
set to work and build up an oasis that
will be the wonder of the State.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-11-03

There is a society for the prevention
of blindness in England. 1t is cwalcaia-
ted that blindness annually costs
Europe no less a sum than ct, DOC, 900,
and England alone no less than $780,
600; so that by removing the auses
not only will a large amoun of acute
suffering, as well as deprivation from
the pleasure of sight, be prevented, but
a great financial gain will result. AS
vet, the operations of the society have
been mainly confined to Lond IN, but
the offer OF a substantial prize for the
best essay on the causes of blindness
and the most practical means OF pre-
venting il will doubtless lead to the
dissemination of much valuable infor-
nation on the subject.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-11-03

The $500 counterfeit note found in q
powder horn recently in a New York
pawnbroker's store, and pronounced a
counterfeit by Chief Drummond, OF
the United States secret service, was
declared by that officer to be one of the
best limitations of a genuine note ever
seen. MI. Brook, of the secret service,
stated to a Telegram reporter, that the
note was presented at one of the lead
ing city banks, and that the officials de-
clared that they would accept it with
out hesitation. 1t was also shown to
the publishers of a bank note detector.
and they would not pronounce as to its
being spurious or not. The note was
evidently in circulation for some time
and was patched 1t is thought to have
been produced by Smith, a member of
the Brockway gang of counterfeiters,
who IS now at liberty, and by Thomas
p. Ballard, who is now in the Albany
penitentiary serving a term of thirty
years for counterfeiting. Mistakes,
however, are sometimes made and notes
and coin which are genuine are regard
ed as counterfeits. Yesterday a Cham
bers street merchant called upon Mr..
Brook, of the secret service, and told
him that he had two counterfeit silver
coins passed upon him and that he con-
sidered it his duty TO inform the secret
service of the fact. The coin, he stat
ed, had been refused at the elevated
railway stations and by different others
declared to be counterfeit, one person,
after weighing, declaring them beyond
all doubt spurious. Mr.. Brook viewed
the coin and then weighed them, and
astonished the Chambers street mer-
chant by declaring them genuine.
The five cent pieces, gilded, so as to
look like five dollar gold coins, it has
been recently discovered by a man who
manufactured them as watch charms,
and there was evidently no very crimi-
nal intent. To issue a gold, silver or
other coin, even of true metal and over
the value of legal coin, constitutes the
crime of counterfeiting, and leaves the
person who manufactures them liable
to prosecution, the same as if the in
tention to defraud had existed. Some
since a wealthy man in the South
issued gold coins which were worth
more than the legal ones, but this fact
did not save him from prosecution and
punishment as a counterfeiter.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-11-03
WITH The CURRENT.

Rarest mood of all the yearl
Aimless, idle and content;
Sky and earth and atmosphere
Wholly indolent.
Low and clear and pure and deep.
Ripples of the river sing
Water-lilies, half asleep,
Drowsed with listening.
Tremulous reflex of skies
Skies above and skies below
Paradise and Paradise
Blending even sol
Blossoms with their leaves unrolled
Laughingly, as they were lips
Cleft with ruddy beaten gold
Tongues of petal tips.
Rush and reed, and thorn and vine
dumped with grasses 1.-THE and tall
And a web of summer shine
Woven round il all.
Back and forth and to and fro,
Flashing scale and wing as one,
Dragon flies that come and go,
Shuttled by the sun.
Fairy songs and lullabies
Fine as phantasy conceives-
Echoes wrought of cricket cries
Sifted through the leaves.
Ger the rose, with drowsy buzz,
Hangs the bee, and stays his kiss,
Even as my fancy does,
Darling, over this.
Lo, let us forget all care,
And as ~listiess as the day
Drift adown it, half aware,
Anywhere we may.
Drift and curve and deviate,
Veer and eddy, float and flow,
Waiver, swerve and undulate,
AS the bubbles 90.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-11-03

Most of these opera Douffe people 1--we
in the simplest way. They may never be
seen at Delmonlco's OF the other expensive
resorts. Most of the artists have formed a
table d. hote of their own near the theatre,
where no strangers are admitted. 1t is
run by the mother of NJ. Salvador, who is
the assistant stage manager. Here you
may see at 8 o'clock in the evening Miles.
Aimee, Nixau, Angelo aud vallot n
Duplan, Nigri, Mezleres, Edgar, Strakosch
aud several others dining together undis-
turbed by any oficious ana pryiug friends.
The food Is simply French home cooking
and the board Is only IS per week each.
But nothing IS more delicious than the
gigots a l'allle and the little entrees which
are so dear 10 the French heart. 1t Is a
thoroughly democratic reunion, where
| everybody Is the equal of everybody else,
and the wit lows as fast as the small elaret
| which Is the ordinaire of Madame Saliva
tors house. These French people are
thoroughly amusing and full OF good jhu
NOR. They have none OF those petty ca
ousles which distinguish their English and
American brethren and sisters, and, dinner
| over, those who have not to act that night
&C to applaud those who have. On the
| night of Mile. Nixau's benefit Aimee occu-
pied a box and frequently applauded her.
apparently anxious 70 appear happy that
she was successful.
The opera over some of them again ad-
journ to supper at Madame Salvatore, and
| remain until one or two in the morning re-
| counting experiences and stories and dis
cussing art. The charm is That there Is
not the slightest sort Of <retension among
these people. Fancy for one moment en-
American star descending to this sort OF
intercourse ON a footing of equality with
The lower and less fortunate members of
the company. But with those French
women there is a thorough esprit de corps.
Quarrels are soon patched up, differences
OF opiaion soon adjusted for the common
veal. There is a Bohemian charm about
this life that only French people under
stand.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-11-03
Sand from the Red Sea,

Press Agent Hopkins, of the Ameri-
can Institute Fair, in 14ew York, said
TO a reporter:-"We had a novel ex-
hibition to-day; one which we'll Illus
trates the weakness and duplicity of
humanity. You will observe that the
stands in which the cut flower exhibits
are made are kept filed with beach
sand to preserve their freshness. The
flowers which were to have been
placed in one of the stands did not
arrive. On the visitors arriving in
front of the vacant stand but few ap-
peared able to resist the temptation
of testing the depth and quality of
tie sand by poking and para
soils into it. Thinking to put a stop
to this, Superintendent Hall and my
self wrote the inscription: Visitors
will please not handle. This sand is
from the Red Sea- on several pla-
cards, which we placed in conspicuous
positions in the sand. In less than
thirty minutes afterward five attend
ants called upon me, saying that un-
less those cards were taken away there
would not be any sand left. And
sure enough, when l again visited the
sand there had at least been a bushel
of sand taken out of it. This sand
had been removed by visitors, many
of whom we redressed in silks and
satins. They would resort to all kinds
of tricks to obtain a handful OF the
sand from the Red Sea. One portly
old gentleman slowly and mysterious
ly backed himself up against the edge
of the sand, and while apparently gaz-
ing at "a comet, quickly grasped a
handful and deposited it in his coat
pocket, after which, having success
fully accomplished the feat, he hur-
ried off to another part of the build
ing, probably happy in the thought
that stolen waters are sweet and in
the belief that he was actually the
possessor of sand from the Red Sea,
when, instead, he had a pocketful of
Coney Island sand"
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-11-03

DR.. FretiSe, a Brazilian, believes that
he has d~lscoyered the yellow parasites
in the blood OF yellow fever patients.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-11-03
JAMES P. BUTLER & SON,
Mas0ns and PIasterers,
gAig Street. above Union Corner,
PENNsGROvE.
CHAS W. CABLE,
HOUSE & SIGN PAINTER,
MAIN Street,
PENNSCROVE.
Making a Start.


81 am on my way last and have
about three hours in which to see De
troit," said a stranger yesterday to a
po liceman on jefferson venue 81
want to begin right. Now, then, you
of course have the finest Fire Depart
ment in the country?"
Eyes, sir"
"Ahi Exactly-exactly. And the
best police force?"
"Yes.n
"Just as 1 expected-exactly. This
is, of course, one of the healthiest cities
in the world?"
sit is.n
"Ah-yes. You have a noble river
at yonr doorsr"
"We have, sir"
acknowledgements as much. You
have churches and schools for all, of
course?"
Eyes, sir"
.'tExactly-of course. Taxes are
low, the local government efficient, and
law and order prevail in all dIrections?"
Eyes"
81 supposed so-yes. The city is i'm
proving, and is certain to become a
great metropolis?"
That's what we think"
"Of course-of course. You have
pure AR, good water and freedom from
epldemics?"
"Yes, sir"
"Exactly-exactly-just as | suppes-
ed. They said the same IN Buffalo,
Cleveland, Cincinnati, Chicago, Indian
apolis and Milwaukee. If you will now
have the kindness to direct me to a five
eent barber shop l will enjoy a shave
and then see the city. With theistart
you have given me l can not fail to do
you justice"
VERY careful experiments made in
New York last season, says the New En-
gland Farmer, show that the fat culture
OF potatoes produces the finest tubers
and the largest yields. The best results
followed the Dutch method Of planting,
which consists in keeping the surface oil
the ground level. planting g single eye
in a place, covering it six inches deep
and allowing but a single stalk to grow
in a hill, the hills to be a loot apart
each way.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1883-05-17
KENTUCKY NEWS.
ttx 6isoiiIe Democrat.

This Is race week at Licking
ton.
The wheat is growing wonder
fully well.
In Hart county I'd. Lodgin
shot and killed q man named
|kinsie.
At Greenburg Mrs. G. i.
Brown shielded by jumping in
Ito q well.
The famous trotter, Gov.
|Sprague, died at Lexington.
He cost $28,000.
At Munfordyille q thirteen.
year old boy of. H. Compton
was thrown from q wagon and
killed.
An incendiary fire at George
town destroyed eight valuable
horses belonging to james A.
|Grinstead.
Two days were occupied i'll
. jury in the Thomp1
son murder case. The jury was
completed on Wednesday and
testimony commenced on
day. The trial wiurS
to last until Monda
next.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1883-05-17
FLORIDA NEWS.
Times Democrat.

Mariana has q good prospects
|of building a cotton-seed mill
shortly.
Tampa has skipped 5,201,132
oranges the past season. and
92, 1920 lemons and grape fruit.
The real estate transfers in
Orange county for one week re-
Gently amounted to S24,677 40.
Machinery is being shipped
ito the Magnesia Springs, to
work up the phosphate rock
there.
j.. M. Hawthorn, Of Hawthorn,
offers good building lots to any
mechanic who will settle in that
town.
Real estate is being sold so
rapidly in Alachua county that
three clerks are required to re-
cord the deeds.
Nearly every train from the
Madison section carries a ship
ment of vegetables. Sales have
REALIZED satisfactory returns.
If immigration to Polk county
Continues at the present rate, it
will soon be one 0fthe most
|populous counties in the State.
Northern capitalists have or
|ganized the Bank Of Tavares,
with apaid up capital of 100000,
TO commence business by May
The engineer corps of the
Thomasville, Tallahassee and
Gulf Railroad are now engaged
IN surveying aline to some point
the Gulf coast.
/. A. D. Levesque, near Matt
land, Orange county, has q little
fruit tree about 6 inches
only one year old from
fhe seed, which bloomed this
season, and now has fruit grow
ing upon it.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1883-05-17
LOUISIANA NEWS,
Times Democrat.

The Democrat estimates that
|St. Landry parish will contribute
$500 to the ST. Charity Hospital.
|Opelousas contributes $4O0.
Jack Sloan has been arrested
refused bail for the muir
der of DR.. Rocker, belew Raine
Station, in st. Landry parish. ,sil-
Four or five German families
recently rented land and settled
|on the Gillespie plantation, near
|St. Landry. More are to follow.
The st. Landry Democrat
|says that Mr.. Henri !Guidry was
assassinated near his home, In
|Coulee Crache neighborhood,
by unknown parties, on April
10.
The Gretna Courier gives fat
tering accounts of the growing
crops in Jefferson parish. The
present outlook indicates that
the coming season will be one
yof the most prosperous ever
known.
The Alexandria Town Talk
understands that the Red River
and Coast Line will furnish part
1of the capital to build the cot
ton seed oil mill that Capt.
Boardman intends to construct
there.
More corn has been planted
in st. Landry than usual, says
the Washington Argus, and itS
appearance indicates q large
yield. Cane also looks promis.
ling, and the weather has been
favorable to cotton.
The Lake Charles. CONNER
cial reports that the fire-hug has
Ibeen at work in the vicinity Of
Edgerly Station, 20 miles west
30f Lake Charles. A vacant
house was first burned. A
might or two afterward a school
house in Big Woods was de-
stroyed. On the 9th ultimo
MI. Cessford's saw-mill was
burned, and on Tuesday last j.
n. Dayidson's store, at Edgerly
Station, with everything In il,
including the post0fice, was
destroyed. A negro boy has
been arrested on suspicion.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1883-05-17


|only, because no says that he
saw ~ oncer VS. going to
shoot the prisoner. II Il . pain
|ful thing for US 70 discuss this
matter at All, but while SANI
|~TnoMPson's widow has . voice
pr > pen that she can raise IL
defence o. his memory, against
false or unjust excuses for his
murder, whether published
Through misinformation or acct.
dent, az the above undoubtedly
was, or by design, she will not
|remain silent.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1883-05-17
ARKANSAS NEWS.
Times emocrat.l

The recent Monroe county
grand jury found 295 indlct-
Ments.
The fruit crops in Washing.
ton and Benton counties are
very promising.
The Helena Oil Works have
|been sold to Little Rock and
Memphis capitalists for $3I, 900.
! The farmers around jackson
port are thinning out their old
stock and filing the gaps with
FLOODED animals.
Bill Thompson was arrested
lat Hot Springs a few days since
for a murder committed in Tex
|as seven years ago.
Cattle buyers have overrun
ASHLEY county and purchased
every animal for sale. The de-
mand is very great and cannot
be supplied.
A raid was made upon the
|moonshiners Of Scott county a
few days ago. Four of them
were captured, and a large
amount Of illicit property des.
|trOyed.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1883-05-17

world. II may be that special
Reasons exist why l cannot over
come the ordinary difficulties
attending any one publishing q
|newspsper, especially il the en-
|terprise be in the hands Of d
woman, though many newsps-
|pers are conducted by ladies'.
but / have determined to try
to meet and overcome these
difficulties. The paper Is dear
to me, | have helped ~ make Il
what it is. ! have set It's types
too many years TO give II up
now. I shall do all ! can to
make IL a welcome visitor 10 the
homes OF these people. Those
who have patronixed 1t In the
past, will do SO In the future.
Those who wish to take q live,
moral, conservative good news
paper will find such = one in the
EAGLE under our management.
Il will do my best TO make IL all
that any good citizen shall de-
sire. Its columns shall be open
TO ell. It will strive TO promote
good of the whole country.
IL will seek to foster the inter
Of town and country and
fhalI deserve II IL does not get
II there shall
sppear 4 necessity for more
matter I will arrange
at an early day for the services
Of . responsible, experienced
writer who will be governed by
the views herein set forth and
whose integrity Of character and
ability, shall be such as to CON-.
lnand the public confidence.
!. If there DO those who would
deny me the privilege of con-
linuing this publication they are|
XII