Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1883-11-06
Peckss Bad Boy
THE FATHERS LAST EXPERIMENT FOR HI
REFORM.
The Judge.

THE FATHERS LAST EXPERIMENT FOR HIS
REFORM.
'tNaw," said the groceryman, as he
charged the cheese to the boys father; and
he picked up his cigar stub, which he had
left on the counter, and which the boy had
rubbed on the kerosene barrel. mo, sir;
that whistle would scare any dog that heard
it. Say, what was your pa running after
the doctor in his shirt sleeves for last Sun
day morning? He looked scared. Was
your ma sick again ?''
ooh, no, ma is healthy enough now; she
has got new fur-lined cloak. She played
consumption on pa, and coughed so she
liked to raise her lights and liver and made
doctor to prescribe a fur-lined circular, and
pa went and got one, and ma improved aw-
fully. Her cough has all gone, and she can
walk ten miles. 1 was the one that was
sick. You see, 1 wanted to get pa into the
church again, and get him to stop drinking,
80 got a boy to write letter to him in a
female hand, and signed the name of choir
singer pa was mashed on, and tell him she
was yearning for him to come back to the
church, and that the church seemed a blank
without his smiling face and benevolent
heart, and to please come back for her
sake.
Spa got the letter Saturday night, and
seemed tickled, but | guess he dreamed
about it all night, and Sunday morning he
was mad, and took me by The ear and said
I couldn't come no Daisy business on him
a second time. Pa said he knew | wrote
the letter, and for me to 90 up in the store
room and prepare for the almight est licking
a boy ever had, and he went downstairs
and broke up an apple barrel and got stave
to whip me with Well, l had to think
mighty quick. but was enough for him. l
got dried bladder in my room, one that
me and my chum got to slotter-house, and
l blowed it partly up, so it would be sort of
flat like, and put it down inside the back
part of my pants, right about where pa hits
when he Furnishes nue.. l knowed when the
barrel stave hit the bladder it would ex-
plode. Well, pa came up and found me
crying.
81 can cry just as easy as you can turn
on water at faucet, and pa took off his
coat and looked sorry. I was afraid he
would give up whipping me when he seen
me cry, and l wanted to go on with the
bladder experiment, so looked kind of hard,
as if ] was defying him to do his worst, and
then he took me by the neck and laid me
across trunk. didn't dare struggle much
for fear the bladder would loose itself, and
pa said, Now, Hennery, am going to
break you of this damn foolishness, or [
will break your back and he spit on his
hands and brought the barrel stave down
on my best pants. Well you'd died if
you had heard the explosion. 1t almost
knocked me off the trunk. 1t sounded like
oh al
lar in a barrel, and pa looked scared. roll
ed off the trunk on the floor, and put some
flour on my face to make me look pale, and
then 1 kind of kicked my legs like a fellow
who is dying on the stage after being stab
bed with piece of lathe, and groaned and
said, 'Pa, you have killed me, but forgive
you;' and then l rolled around and frothed
at the mouth, cause had piece Of soap
in my mouth to make foam. Well, pa was
all broke up. He said, Great God, what
have done? have broken his spinal col
umn. Oh, my poor boy, do not diep
kept chewing the soap and frOthing at the
mouth, and l drew up my legs and kicked
them out, and clutched my hair and rolled
my eyes, then kicked pa in the stommick
as he bent over me, and knocked his breath
out of him, and then my limbs began to
get rigid, and said, Too late, pa. I die
at the hand ofan assassin. Go for doc
tor. Pa throwed his coat over me and
started down stairs on a run, saying, 4
have murdered my brave boy, and lie told
ma to go up stairs and stay with me, cause
/ had fallen off trunk and ruptured a
blood-vessel, and he went off after the doc
tor.
''When he went out Of the front door,
sat up and lit a cigarette, and ma came up
and told her all about how fooled pa;
and if she would take on and cry when pa
got back, | would get him to go to church
again, and swear off drinking, and she laff-
ed and said she would. So when pa and
the doctor got back, ma was sitting on a
velocipede used to ride, which was in the
store room, and she had her apron over her
face, and she more than beloved. Pa, he
was pale, and told the doctor that he was
just playing with me with little piece of
board, and he heard something crack, and
be guessed my spine got broke falling off
the trunk. The doctor wanted to feel where
my spine was broke, but | opened my eyes
and had d vacant sort Of stare, like a woman
who leads dog by string and l told the
doctor there was no use setting my spine,
as it was broken in several places. and |
wouldn't let him feel of The dried bladder.
81 told pa that l was going to die, and |
wanted him to promise me two things on
my dying bed. Hecried and said he would,
and told him to promise me he would
quit drinking and attend church regular,
and he said he would never drink another
drop, and would go to church every Sun
day. l made him first get down on his knees
beside me and swear it, and the doctor he
witnessed 1t, and ma said she was so glad,
and ma called the doctor out into the hall
and told him the joke, and the doctor came
into the room and told pa that he was afraid
pas presence won'd excite the patient, and
Tor pa to put on his coat and 90 out and
walk around block or go to church, and
ma aid he would remove me to another
room, and do all that was possible to make
my last hours pleasant. Pa he cried, and
said he would put on his plug hat and go
to church, and he kissed me and got flour
on his nose, and | came near laughir O right
out to see the white -four on his red nose
when thought how the. people in church
would laugh at pa. But he went out feel
ing mighty bad, and then got up and pull
ed the busted bladder out of my pants, and
ma and the doctor they laughed awful
When pa got back from church, and asked
for me. ma said that had gone down town.
She said the doctor found my spine was
only uhcoupled, ana he coupled 1t together,
and l was all right. Pa said it was 'al-
mighty strange, cause | heard the spine
break when [ hit him with the barrel stave.'
Pa was nervous all the afternoon, and ma
thinks he suspects we played it on him.
Say, you don't think there is any harm in
playing it on an old man little, do you,
for good cause, do you ?"-Pech's Sun
Some old bachelor says: s'Man's lot is
not happy one. No sooner is he free
from his Innthnr,S anrnn-strinrs and slim