News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-08-16

| rich girls in a runaway coupe OF Ola iNeA
from the river, there never was any
chance. Tn going to change end reao
something else"
"Well, what shall it be p
81 want something about a boy who
began low down and worked up. He
mustn't rush into any burning houses,
save any stores from being robbed, dis
cover any plots to blow mp steamboats,
or save any old woman from mad dogs.
He must be Just like the rest Of us have
headaches, get licked, hate to get out OF
bed fight his brothers and steal sugar
and take it to bed to eat"
The dealer couldn't find such book
and the lad went ont with the remark
that nobody seemed to care to write any
thing for boys.-DetrOH Free Press
IN UNCERTAINTY.
He was hurrying along Center street
the other morning, when boy about
his own age stopped him and called
out:
"Struck it?"
eyes.
"What?"
Going to sweep an Office for a
felIer."
"Who?"
"DunnO."
'Howmuch?'
Cant tell"
"Why ?"
"'Cause if he's a lawyer he'll give me
ten cents and predict that I'll be Presi-
dent some day, but if he's broker he'll
flip me half-a-dollar and not care two
cents whether I bring up III Washing
ton OF Halifax S'long r. Val Street
NelCS.
A FINANCIAL OUTLOOK.
'I'd rather give man $50 than he
swindled ont of So" said Gillyhower
the other day.
"Well, that's strange. What's your
reason for such a conclusion
''You see, if I give you $50, that's put
down on the books to charity. That
looks well. The angels look over the
bookkeeper's shoulder, and smile sweet
lv as the words 'to charity are entered.
But if I am swindled out of s., the
angels 90 off behind the barn and laugh,
and the bOokkeeper heaves a sigh as he
enters. TO blamed old fool, who will
never learn anything, S.. st Joe Ga
zette.
GENEROUS.
"Didn't I tell you not to ask your
Uncle James for money!" said a mother,
casting hard look at her son.
"No'm."
.sUbat, didn't tell you this morning
not to ask him
"You said not to ask HIM when you
was around"
"Jeems p
L." But to strike him r a dollar while
Won was out an you would give me
nickel of it. t.''-ArkdnSa10 Traveller.
WITH THE WATCH.
The boy that wears watch is an I'M
portant character. At school be Is en-
WED. and on the street he is respected.
None of the boys grab him and throw
him down for they might break his time
keeper. He has way OF twisting the
chain when he talks, and of looking at
his watch when he hears railroad tralh'
and saws twelve-ten, OF six-five, or eight
sixteen. The other boys stand around
and regard him with admiration. he
grows up and probably goes to college
with distinguished All, but IN "tler
years he pawns his watch with man,
who. as a boy, often stood around ana
admired it.-ArkaRsa1c Trdreler.
"B-A. BA, K-E-R, KER, BAKER.
When Mr.. J. B. Bell was running for
sheriff of Lowndes county, Mississippi
he attended a barbecue given 10y the
people OF - neighborhood, where ne
mot a number of his constituents. Mr..
b. has ga peculiarly good memory Tor
faces, but very poor one for names,
so he saws. At the barbecue he met
man whose face was perfectly familiar,
but no mental effort could rec'Il ms
name. After a good deal OF general
conversation ON current topics, the atia-
bic candidate-not Wishing to ask the
man his name outright-remarked IN
terrogativeIy: Il believe I have for
gotten how you spell your name
"B-a-k. e-r, Bakcr-and III he hanged
if I'll vote for auy man for sheriff that
can't spell Baker, replied the sovereign,
with good natured sarcasm.
| A NOVELTY.
"What is that lying on your desk 2
asked Gus De Smith Of a young society
business man, at whose office he hap
pened to be. ,,,
"Those are my receipted bills that L
have Just paid. 80,
exclaimed Gus, with animation; let me
look at them, please. I've not seen
anything of the kind in the last five
years. "-T6raS SiftdagS