davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-14
The Barber and the Bunko Nan.

"A WOOL has got nine lifes ind alvays
lants on his feet" said the barber near
the Cooper Institute, and then. he made
change for q man, and helped him on
with hia coat. When he came back he
added: Il vas blinking Of OSCAR Wilde,
Der Lort neffer makes WOOL mitout
daking care of him. choost as He does
of dem leedle sbarrows vOt CANT vail
py der grourt mitout He found it ovid.
Id wood peer bedher for der goot name
of dis gundry if der Yankee dhieves got
away nit der money vich dot chack-
donkey dock in from der Yankee vools,
but dot could not pc, for Heffen dakes
care of dem vich to dake care of dem
sellufs don'tgo some prains.
''Dotvos sensible dings vot der Mar
quis of Lorne und his wife done, alretty;
getting PREDICTION Of 3 poddy guard Of
soldiers to keep dem bunko men away.
Bedher der rest der Englishmen done
der same dings ven they come py dis
gundry.'
The loquacious barber pronounced
bunko .'pung-go." He took advantage
of the fact that his assistant was sham
pooling man in further corner of the
room to tell this story:
'.You know dot monkey parberpy der
negst shair always tresses 50 vine like
der CLERK by hotel? Veil, he always
done dot, efen ven he lifted nit his far
der in pennsylvania. Vonst he came py
Nye Yorrick on leedle sbree, und he
vos tressed poodiful. He ditn't know
Something's apowd dem bunko .vellers
any more rs you Something's know abowd
der negst Wort of Chully. He vos going
down der Powery ven comes up . man
und says: Hello. PrOwn?'
~ ton'd vos any Prown,' der barber
says.
9 'vot. ain'd you Pob Prown met in
Hot Strings?
No. vos Martin Armenian, Of
Bottstown, pennsylvania der parber
says.
by chimmaneddy. in dwo minnits
comes up WELLER vich says:
''HOw you vos, Arnemann; und
your sister LOweesa. how she vos.. and
how gifts along der, oft man?' und, he
dolt dot parber more apowd Bottsdown
as de parber could found ovid in sixty
years. az d, g
my vrend,' dot parber says. 4 been
oxdremely pleased to. seen you, und SIM
you know my vanity more better rs
mineselluf viii you please lend me seffen
dollar und halb, for l haf peen on q
sbree und tond got cent left to get my
home back again already
He says dut bunko weller could NIT
fodder himselluf knock down" IN r.
Sun.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-14
His Devotiona

The organ peale, the choir is singing;
wonder If ehe knows I'm here!
Her thoughts no doubt are upward Winging,
While mine sink, clogeed with doubt and fear.
IT'S she. of course; there's no misfaking
Her crowded, GLOSSY brafds of brown,
And that the bonnet she was making
sat and watched her beat the crown.
How deft her fingers are-how busy!
Ali happy man within whose home
But, siayi such thoughts, they make me dizzy,
And have no place beneath this dome.
Far better should ponder grimly
Ny faults committed, duties missed.
How neat her glOve is, and how trinity
1t buttons round her slender wristi
All! vain and poor is earthly pleasure;
No wonder that our sad hearts yearn
To some more high and lasting treasure
They're sitting down. Perhaps she'll turn.
Thank Heaven, she sees mel She is fiinging
A sweet reprOnchful glance my way
Yes, dear, indeed I've been singing,
And now, my saint, mean to prayl
ssssls 5s7ssGst &SgE{sz n RrfdOAa
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-14
Killing Rats BY Electricity,

Ralph Corbit. aningenious l5-year.old
boy of Honeybrook. Chester county. has
devised \ novel plan of getting rid of
the rats which invest his fathers cellar.
He has constructed out of old fruit Jars
. battery Of three Leydcn jars. which hs
connects and places upon large iron
plate which touches the tin foil on the
outside. The bait is so arranged that
when the rat steps upon the plate and
seizes the bait he at once makes the
connection between the outside and in-
side of the jars and they are discharged
through his body killing him literally as
quick a. lightning. He charges the jas
by means of an electrical machine, also
constructed by himself. He ran .
couple of wires through the door to the
cellar from the room above. and as soon
rs he would hear rat squeak he would
Immediately recharge the battery. The
first time he put the machine in opera.
ton he slaughtered twenty-five rats in
q space of three hours, and in two days
the cellar was entirely cleared Of the
pests.-West Chester (Pa.) Local.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-14
A Fatal Choice,

With the drifting clouds ofsmoke and
steam that rise from the ruins Of the ILL
fated Newhall house at Milwaukee,
there comes sadly romantic, story. in
which a gentleman Of this. city Is one Of
the actors. Only a few months ago MI.
P0rteous, Of this city went to Canada to
marry Mics Sutton, to whom ne had
been engaged for some time. He re.
NAMED there some time. His friends
waited, with no little wonder at the de-
lay. to hear that the ceremony had been
performed. No word came, however,
and TO the surprise Of all, when at last
the groom-elect did return, he. brought
with him the sister If tho lady to whom
he had been engaged, and for whose
hand be had gone to the Dominion.
1t seems that when Mr.. P0rteous
reached the home of his fiancee another
had come between them. She had met
and learned to love an actor, and prom
Used to become his wife. This Mr.. Por-
teous learned when she had refused him
her hand and given him his liberty. He
then found out that bis affection had
transferred itself to Miss. SuttOn's sister,
and forthwith wooeG and won her, re-
turning home in triumph with . bride.
The young lady to whom Mr.. Porteous
first intrusted his heart. no longer fet-
tered with q betrothal. then gave her
heart to Mr.. John Gilbert, Of the Minnie
Palmer company, and with him went
on the boards. This fact was not known
to the wife Of Mr.. Porteous, however,
and for several weeks she has been ex.
pecting a visit from her sister When
the news Of the terrible calamity ct Mil
waukee was flashed over the wires,
Mrs. POrteous was struck by the name
of Mrs. John Gilbert among the victims
and an investigation proved the sad
facts too true. Her only sister. the
bride Of one night, was burned in that
fearful death-trap. Louisville Courier
Journal.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-14
The Toy, Of Our Boyhood.

The boys Of to-day would have q verv
poor opinion Of the toys that amused
us when we were young. We can
hardly find any Of the old-time toys for
sale in this luxurious age. Our children
would doubtless turn up their noses 1t
the primitive toys that amused their
fathers-the Noah's ark with its painted
windows and red roof that lifted M
with q hinge, old Noah with blue coat
and ! tendency to tumble down and
damage his wooden features, and his
vito with green legs and figure built
on churn pattern-we used to knock
them in endwise through the roof. and
drop them down into the cellar with the
elephant, the COW. and the kangaroo,
and fasten them all up securely bY lock-
ing the roof with piece Of wire. And
then there was the wooden sheep with
wool glued on his back. and the paste-
board cat. and the spotted china dog.
and the tin COW with wooden tail, and
the horse that Was mounted on wheels;
how constantly they became unglued
and how rapidly they tottered into old
age and decrepitude; but we enioyed
the possession of these monstrosities,
and thought them the perfection Of hu-
man ingenuity. We treasured these
caricatures of the animal kingdom, and
we honestly believe that we Got great
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-14

The New York Times notes the fact
that call m.,dern steamers are built
with watsr-tight compartments, and, az
. rule, every steamer that runs into an
other vessel promptly sinks. The water
tight compartments are very useful
when mentioned in advertisements. but
for all other purposes they seem to be
practically worthless"
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-14
What Americans Neglect.

A letter from Sheffield, Eng. saws:
wonder why most Americans coming
over here write Of the natural scenery 81
England, and say 80 little Of these con-
tury-old, world-famed manufactures
Speaking OF scenery. I'VE have plenty
OF that at home as the boy said when
he was offered hash to eat while paying
visit. s;
Up at Birmingham. the other day, I
visited the famous Gillot Pen Manufao-
tory. and saw the tiny things turned out
by the thousands. Then we went into
. glass factory and saw the whole opera-
ton of glass making, from the sitting Of
the sand to the last polishing and the
cutting by hand. A boy not more than
10 years old sat at his bench before .
grind-stone and ornamented gas-shado
with stars and complicated lines and
curves. with no outline drawn and no
pattern marked.
At Manchester is the cotton spinning;
LOCO spindles running at the same time
with q deafening whir and buzz. Twas
much interested in ..machine intelii-
gencer." worked BY electricity, which
made manifest the least haw in tho
thread. stopping the spindle instantly Il
larger piece OF cotton creptin to cause
bunch or knot or the yarn-an Ameri-
can invention. Another thing which
was shown me BY the proprietor, with
grim smile, was huge pile Of sand.
l looked up inquiringly. and he said:
THAT is a bit of your native land. y
and explained that it Was the adultera-
tim fn0vrn hole o.
from America.
fastened to change the subject. 70.
marking that we were likely to have :
fog.
At an exhibition Of decorative art In
Manchester I saw glass spun and . dress
made from it to adorn 4 pale ladv Ia
wax who smiled meltingly on the opera
ton; some antique china, worth pounds
to the square inch, and wall paper with
plush ground and birds and flowers
in gold relief. And here in Sheffield
it is almost worth trip across the
ocean-can be seen the relics Of tho
forges built BY the Roman monks cen.
turtles ago, when this ''capital Of steel
was day-old infant Ia swsddling
clothes. Id
1t is quite worth your while to visit
Sir John Browns immense steel manu.
factory covering acres Of ground and
employing armies Of men; or Thomas
Turner's old and weli-known cutlery
factory, whose knives and forks 20 over
to France and Italy and find their wsv
to the remotest parts of Germany and
the colonies. Jos. Rodgers great show
rooms are = marvel Of glitter and bright
ness.
They showed us q knife with 1882
blades and the largest elephants tusks
on record.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-14
As It Came Out.

A man one day came running into .
farmyard and hurridly cried for Z spade.
The farmer. coming out, demanded
what he wanted with it, when the man
replied that his friend had stuck N q
bog and he wanted to dig him out.
How far in is he" inquired the farmer.
''Up to the ankles" ..Is that ALP" said
the farmer. ''Then he can pull himself
out again. You'll get no spade here"
Scratching his head, while his face bore
evident signs Of grief. the stranger
blurted out: Och, but, be jabers he's
in head frstr'
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-14

II would like tobe excused, your hon-
or" said q Chicago man who had been
drawn on jury. ''What for2'' II
owe man five dollars, and l want to
hunt him up and pay it." DO you
mean to say you would hunt up q man
to pay - bill, instead of waiting for him
to hunt yon up?" Eyes. your honor
':Do you belong in Chicago?'' Eyes,
sir. ..You arecxcused. ldon't want any
man on the jury who will lie like that"
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-14
Guarding Garfield, Crave.

No one. says the Cleveland Penny
Press. is allowed to approach within 100
yards Of Garfeld's tomb after nightfall
until they have been identified by the
guard who still PAGES ctaselessly back
and forth every hour day aud night, ex-
copt in stormy weather. when be sits ~
an open window in . little guard house
that stands just across the road and two
or three rods from the vault, In front Of
which light must be kept burning.
For this guard duty the government dc.
tails twelve men and an officer from the
regular army. all of whom are within
call, and three beside the one on sentry
duty are constantly within the. little
guard house. These, armed with tho
breech-loading Springfield rifles. and
with 1900 pounds of ammunition, are
impressed with the belief that it would
take whole regiment of ghosts and
ghouls to steal from their affectionate
care Garfield's sacred remains. That
there are dastardly wretches who would
steal the bones Of martyr for . paltry
ransom, is proved by the attempt to 60
cure the body while it was vet In the
city vault. and before it had been re.
moved to the Schoield private vault,
and shows the precaution wise one.
These guards will not be removed until
the body safely rests beneath the monu-
ment The guards are almost essential
to protect the tomb from the relic fends
as from the ghouls. The guards assert
that were it not for their presence, and
the wire screen or fence, which COM
pletely surrounds the tomb, that the
crowds that visit it would chip Of,
break up and carry away vault, casket
and all as relics. As it is they break
twigs from adjacent trees, reach through
the wires and pluck blades Of grass.
pick up pebbles or anything else they
can seize upon, placing them in their
pocket books or wrapping them up care
fully to bear away az mementos Of their
visit. No one is allowed to enter ex-
cept the officer in charge and Mrs. Gar
field and her family. She comes from
her aome on Prospect street every week
or two. often bringing some beautiful
floral tribute, the boys or Aollis with
her, always sad, but calm and un-
demonstrative. Every Sabbath hou-
quet Of rare flowers is sent to the ceme-
terry, and the officer in charge enters
the tomb and places them on the coffin,
as it stands in full view with tho side
toward the doors During the day the
doors stand open, but. ct night they are
closed and securely locked.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-14

In spite of the popular superstition as
to the number thirteen, the thirteenth
card of a suit is a good thing to hold in
q game of whist.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-14

Being bound for Texas, two ealthv
brothers, South Carolina planters, got
Oft the train at Atlanta to stretch their
legs. A young man introduced him.
self as son Of one of their friends,
Was be going to Texas, toop Oh, yes,
ne was going to Texas. The planters
liked the courtly manners of the youth.
One Ut the planters entered his car; the
other brother contir ued his walk. The
young man rushed into the car and
said to the first: ''Your brother wants
$lOO. quick. Out came five go gold
pieces. Out went the youth; nor was
he seen again by either Of the brothers.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-14

nl01 iAnd send It with nineteen ereon
VU ] stamps, and We will send one sample
set Of six new style MYRTLE triple
TIT H|slver-plated tea spoons. Contain no
I'LL brass, wsrrante genuine. equal In ~
Drarance to % spoons. Guaranteed
ar 70 please, or money refunded Only
ID l lone set sent 10 Introduce. Agents
WANTED Al good pay Iircnlara free.
Addr g e manufacturers, SHAWMUT SILVER
PLATE Co., - Bromasld st., Boston, Hass.
June @
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-12-13
KILLED BY DRINK.
The Cleveland Man Who Won a W,
ger and Lost His Life:

The Cleveland Man Who Won a Wa
ger and Lost His Life:
The Cleveland Herald tells how John
Watfen died from the effects of taking
fifteen glasses of whisky in fifteen min.
utes:
A most singular death occurred in
Herrick's block, back Of the Bethel,
night before last. John Watfen a Ger
man laborer on the docks, living in one
of the rooms in that block, vas at d sa-
loon kept by one William Duge, on the
corner of Seneca and Canal streets. talk.
ing and chatting with lot of sailors;
when q wager was made up between
him and the master of vessel as to his
ability to stand liquor. For q dollar
Wanen was to drink fifteen glasses OF
whisky in fifteen consecutive minutes.
Watttn accepted the bet, and every
glass drank was checked off as he drank
it. He succeeded in winning the bet,
but refused to drink any
more after that, although he was pressed
to do go. He came back dizzied and
sick from the over dose of alcohol, and
had hardly gotten into the room before
he went into violent commissions. His
features were contorted and his whole
frame shuddered involuntarily and his
limbs systematically contracted and ex-
tended, as though shocked by an cleo.
trio battery. From six o'clock Monday
evening until 10 o'clock Tuesday morn.
ing he remained insensible. DR.. Rus
sell, the district physician, was called in,
but his case was already too far gone,
and on Wednesday evening ut O'Clock
the miserable man expired. During the
afternoon he made his last con Fession
and received the sacraments of the dy.
ing. He regained consciousness before
he died and related the whole occur.
renee. Watson was about III years old
and looked younger than most corpses
OF persons of his age. His face had not
the sickly pallor Of the dead, as it lay
sharply defined against the ticking of the
poor bed. He came from Wizzenberg.
in Mecklenburg Strelitz, about year
and half ago, with his wife and
four children, none over 8 years
of age. Since that time one little babe has
been added to the lot. They lived in
pitiable poverty, their solitary room in
the dark and dingy block ueing carpet
less and with none but the scantiest furn.
iture. On the wall at the head of the
bed hung a large crucifix, hanked on eaci,
side by old-country sacred pictures in
gilt paper frames. The family are too
poor. even to bury him, and no one
watched with the dead nor did candle
shed its Pickering light upon the poor
bier. His wife has done washing to sun:
port the family, as all he earned he
spent in drink, and was on spree wher
he made the fatal bet. He had begun it
on Saturday and was known to be drink
ing Sunday and during Monday. The
police are looking the matter up, and
the guilty parties will be prosecuted for
their share in the mans death The
corcner's verdict was that the man came
to hissdeath by alcoholism, or alchoholic
poisoning.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-12-13
(1astrOnO,ny In Paris.

Correspondence San Francisco Chronicle:
Paris is the gay capital of the world.
Its ladies are famous for wit aud wick
edness. good dressing and deviltry. 1t
is famous for its many places of amuse-
ment, good and bad operas, theaters
cafe concerts and it's balls. 1t is also IA
nous for its many good restaurants, its
innumerable hotels, where one may
find table d'hote dinners that "beat the
world" and it's pure and impure wines,
It would not be easy for me to tell my
readers exactly how much food is con-
sumed here annually. But, thanks to
the system of statistics that is imposed
by lawion our municipal rulers, can ge'
an approximate idea of the amount.
Last year there we've sold at the ma rket
no fewer than 300 ,0OO. 900 eggs. OF these
100000 were exported; the rest we
ate here in Paris. This gives an aver.
age Of about l25 eggs for each inhabitant
The daily individual consumption OF
meat IS about POI grammes-that is tt
say nearly four-fifths of pound pc,
day. That same year Of 1892 there were
sold almost 100000 chickens, over 2,
500 900 rabbits. about the same numbei
OF pigeons. and $4,000 larks, thrrshes
and b!ackbirds. The quantity o; wines
drunk during the seme time was about
LOCO, 900 gallons.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-12-13

W. G. Ward of Wasecs, Wa married on the
evening Of the 9Th inst, to E. A. Hend.
rickson of st. Paul. The wedding was q
large and eleg snt one, guests being presen
FROM St: Paul, Minneapolis and other
places. The presen's were numerous and
handsome. Among them was 5000, q
gift from the brides father. The happy
couple lett for the east over the Albert Lea
route.
Articles of corporation of the Minnesota
land D. e1ge company have been fled With
the secretary of state. The general nature
Of its business is the manufacture and sale
Of land dredges and other implements for
excavating and moving earth and other
materials. agricultural implements, tools
ard machinery. The principal place of
business is ST.. Paul, the corporation to con-
tinue for thirty year,. Capital stock, $1ee,
00O, divided into 1000 shares of $50 each;
limit of liability, $4,000. The incorpera.
tors are Vine D. Simar. John Dale, Norman
W. Kittson, Charles J. A Morris, Andrew
r. McGill, Phillip Kelley. Charles n: Lie:
nau, and William H: Wilcox of St.
Paul, and E. Page Davis of New York
city.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-12-13
A Royal Nursery in 1870.

According to the court and city regis
ter for the year 1910, "thc establishment
of the royal nursery" stood thus: Gov
erness, Lady Charlotte Finch, 600; sub.
governess; e300; French teacher, G3O,;
English teacher, el00; wet-nurse to the
Prince of Wales. Mrs. Margaret Scott,
&20O: wet-nurse to Prince Frederick,
e2OO; wet nurse to Prince William, 5e2OO;
wet-nurSe to Princess Royal, GOO; wet
nurse to Prince Edward Gather OF Queen
Vlctoria), Mrs. Anne Percy, G2DO; wet
nurse to Princess Augusta Sophia, goo;
wet-nurse to Prince Ernest Augustus,
EGO; wet nurse to Prince Augustus
Frederick (no salary stated; dresser to
the Processes; dry-nurse to the Princes
dry nurse to the :Princesses; two rock
ers; nursery-maid; washerwoman to the
Princesses. The most curious thing is
to find only one German, a rocker, in
the whole lot. It will be noticed that
the wet-nurses of all the grown Princes
were retained, and that in fact each had
an annuity Of e200 year. What SER
vice the wet-nurse to the Prince of
Wales rendered him does not appear, as
the Prince had an establishment with
his brother, Prince Frederick, Bishop of
Osnaburg. On this establishments til ouyh
there was perfumeress, Urania Dennis,
the wet.nurse for the Prince and the
Bishop are not borne.-Notes and Que
RES
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-12-13


BY Mr.. Cameron WIS., to restore to tho
market certain lands Of the Uaited Sites in
Minnesota and Wisconsin, and authorize
their sale subject to right OF 1owsee. These
are lands Withdrawn from sale in 1880 and
1881 With the idea that they would be re.
quired for use in the construction and main.
tenancs of DAMS reservoirs. &c. nronose.i to
be erected for the Improvement Of Tho Mis.
slss,Ppi river. They are by this bill
made subject to private entry
ana sale Ut $1.25 per acre.
BY Mr.. Morgan, proposing an amendment
to the constitution BY which the president
VIII nave power to disapprove any item in
an appropriation for rivers and harbors
while approving other items. A large
number OF minor bills were introduced.
House Mr.. McCojd took the oath of
office and the house adjourned until Mon.
day 10th inst, to allow the speaker time to
prepare the committees.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-12-13

ton of ex.District Attorney Moak to
land him. in the penitentiary. With
plenty of money. he is we'll supplied
with I'LL the leading journals, and has
won The good will Of the officials at the
jail. The faithfulness of his colored
companion is remarkab e. Thou! III uu
educated he uses elegant language, and
entertains those around the jail wit
comprehensive and en'ert lining de.
scriptions of his trave 8; but not sen.
tence has been known to pass his lips
that could in any wav injure his IN ,ster.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-12-13
A Tony Prisoner.

The most aristocratic and stylish
boarder the Albany county Jail h rs az
commodated for some years is a present
guest. Frank Sherwin, the ex-broker
and western millionaire, His handso me
wife has her apartments at the Ken.
more, and visits the Jail daily. Sher-
win himself has his meals supplied from
the jailer's table, and lives in sunptuous
style, waited on constantly by his col
ored servant who has been faithfully al.
tending him in his wanderinys and I'M
dertakings during til, last dozen years,
even in his adventures in Egypt. Sher-
win takes his incarcerat coolly, not
withstaudia. the asserted deter1niaa