The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-04-18
Wit AND PLEASANTLY.

AFTER all, no lady Is nkely 70 DC Ouenoeo
If you say she looks like Lsngtry.
81 was drunk when 1 married her"
pleaded the defendant to the court. "Most
men are who marry pretty wives, re-
turned the judge. Beauty is slways in
toxiCating"
Mrs. Caroline Norton was at a charity
fair bantering Lord Suffolk TO buy some
trifs at an exhorbitsnt price. "Don't you
know" said his Lordship, defending HIM
self feebl. ithst am the prodigsl soa?'
"No," was tne answer, 81 thought you were
the fstted calf"
A dog and his tail fell into dispute as to
which should wag the other. An itinerant
wasp passing that way casually remarked,
speaking of tails reminds me that pos
sess one which may possibly De Influential
enough to wsg you both" This fable
teaches that ten cents worth of dynamite
is bigger than Church steeple.-Denyer
Tribune.
A keen student of human nature must
have written the following: When you see
young man sailing down street
collar with shortly after midnight
smashed dowa his neck, you can
maze up your mind there's a young girl
crawling up stairs not far distant, with ner
=
lamp IN her Eande."-Ex.
It takes an Irishman TO turn compH-
ment. When be saw Jones after having met
the latter with Mrs. j., Pat Flaherty said
aye are mooch younger than your wife SUR,
presently he met the wife and remarked
" The idea of such young woman marry
ing Misther JonesW The next day he met
them together, but he wasn't at q loss for
ba avolaipoad two hot
of yez too young for sich ather."
Keeping the Sabbath: "Yes, had a very
narrow escape last Sunday" said young
Meggle, q wsll-known Arkansas fop, "for
my horse threw me into a deep gully, where
l lay insensiole until Rev. Mr.. Mocus
CHANGED to come along and take me out"
"The reverend gentleman did not violate
the Sabbath ether" remarked young Blu
kins. Certainly not" replied Meggle,
for he was helping a brother in distress"
mo, not exactly; he was taking an ass out
of the ditch."-Arkansss Traveller.
"Your visits remind me of the growth OF
successful newspaper" said Uncle Jabez,
leaning his chin on his cane and glsncing
on William Henry, who was sweet on An
gelics. "Why so2" inquired William
Henry. "Well, they commenced as a week
~, grew to be a tri-weekly, and have now
become daily, with q Sunday supplement.
ayes" said William Henry, bracing up,
"and after we are married we will issue sn
extrs--.' "Sh-h," said Angelica, and
then they went out for stroll.
A gentleman not long since, in one of hi
rides in southern Illinois, sought to make
himself interesting to good looking moth
er ofa sweet baby occupying the next seat
in the car. After duly prsising the baby
he remarked to the mother: "He's rea
Sucker, suppose2" "No cir" said the lady
blushing, eve mad to raise him on the bot
tle." The gentleman resumed his reading
and has not Dragged on any strange babies
since.
In the Catholic cities of France, the de
vout worshipers, on some particular saint
day, hiss the sacred picture of saint.
man who did not believe much in the saints
anyhow, asked young girl who had jus
come from Church, if she too had kisset
the picture of the sacred saint. She reptile.
that she had, whereupon he responded: 81
would rather kiss your besutiful lips thar
the picture of saint. How do you know
who has just kissed that picture before yol
didT' And if you were to kiss my lips
how would you know who hsd kissed then
Just before you did2" wss The sharp reply
Strings.
Dion Boucicault's son-in-law, CLAYTON
while playing bis great part of Hugh Trev
or, in "AI for Her." at Brighton, wher
in his best scenes, was utterly knocked ove
by persistent loud talking in stage box
Utterly unable to proceed, he at last wen
up to the box and said: Ladies and gentle
men, ] fear my performance interrupts you
conversation. As soon as l can proceel
without distressing you shall resume m,
part The speech was received with tire
nenduous applause by the audience, annie
cries of Turn them outl" the box Wa
mute. One gentleman sought TO pick
quarrel with him afterward. but after q lit
tie conversation thought better of it.
Topnoody made up his mind that he wa
not going to be bossed any longer by hi
wife, so when he went home at noon h
called out imperiously, "Mrs. Topnoody
Mrs. Topnoodyi" Mrs. TPnoody came on
of the kitchen with drop of perspiratior
on the end Of her nose, a dish-rsg tied q
round her head, and rolling pin in her hand
"Well sir" she ssid: "whst'l you bave2
Topnoody staggered, but brsced up. "Mrs
Topnooody, l want you to understand
madam'-snd he tapped his breast drsmati
eally-I am the engineer of this establish
ment." "0h, you are, are your Well Top
needy, want you to understand that -
and she looked dangerous-'1 am the DO
Ter that will blow up and sling the engir
eer over into the next county. Do you hes
the steam escaping, Topnoody?" Topnood
heard 1t, and he meekly inquired if theI
was any assistance ne could render in th
household.
The Thrill of Love.