Connecticut western news., 1883-03-28
ADVERTISING RATES 1.
but she quite enjoys mine; don't you, dearest?'

dearest ?"
 SOLVING TWO PROBLEMS.
 He stopped saving wood aad turned to the old man who was splitting and piling and said:
 "Father, I cannot believe that l was cut out for farmer. The whole problem is right here: go to the city as clerk at dollar day. In six months I get 6 raise to nine dollars per week. In year I am given an interest in the firm, and in ten am rich enough to buy and sell you ten times over."
 "Yes, that's one problem, slowly re- piled the old man, "and there's another: there's six cords of wood left in that pile, and if it isn't all sawed, split and piled agin Saturday night, you don't git no pair @ new cowhide boots out of mel Hear me now, and make that buck-ssw strike fire r- WnU Street Nesos. DIFFERENCE.
 A correspondent in Waco wants to know what the difference is between aris- tocrats and socialists. There is really no difference in the men, but merely the circumstances. When the aristocrat be- comes poor. and hungry, he immediately becomes socialist. When the socialist becomes very rich, he is the very worst aristocrat that can be found. It is merely question of name, just as the poor Israelite is called Jew, and the rich Jew is called an Israelite. e.-7erGs Ssft- ings.
 THEIR DAILY DUTY.
 After the war, when the number of servants in attendance at Oakenwold was divided by four or five, two negro girls, IS and 20, went to the nearest village to ''hire out" The lady to whom they ap- piled could hardly tell the story for laughing: CT asked if they could cook; Nom, we ain't never bin cook none; Phil allus cook Gan you wash Nom, we ain't bin wash none either; Aunt Sally, she wash. Gan you clean house, thenp Nom, least we ain't never bin clean none,' and so," said Mrs. Nash, "I went through the whole list of qualifica- tions, receiving always the same negative answer. We'll, what in heavens name, said at last, have you been accustomed to do? Lucinda's dusky face frightened |-'Sukey, here, she hunt for masters specs and keep flies off ole miss !"- Philadelphia Times.
 PEoK's BAD BOY.
 "I am glad to see you," said the gro cery man to the bad boy, as the latter came in and sat on the counter right over little gimlet hole, where the grocery man had fixed alarming needle so that by pulling string the needle would fly up through the hole and run into the
 boy about an inch. The grocery man had been laying for the boy for two days, and now that he had got him right oveI the hole the first time, it made him laugh ) to think how he would jump and yell and as he edged off and got hold of the
 string the boy looked unconscious of i'm. pending danger. The grocery man sal still. He pulled again and again, ane finally the boy said:
 "Oh, you needn't pull that string any more. I heard you was setting traf for me, and put piece of board inside my pants, and thought I would let yor f exercise yourself. Go ahead, if it amuse' t you. It don't hurt me-" The grocery 5 man shook his head and went off about his business, thinking it was only wasting
 time to fool with that boy.
 In the mean time, one of the grocery mans best customers, deacon in thu . church, had come in and sat down ol
 the counter, over the alarming needle and as the grocery man came in with thu ,, coal the boy pulled the string, and wen ; out doors and tipped over basket o
 rutabagas, while the deacon got dow l. off the counter with his hand clasped and anger in every feature, and told tn
 grocery man he could whip him in tw " minutes. The grocery man asked wha " was the matter, and the deacon hunte' y, up the source from whence the darninI \. needle came through the counter, and ~ the boy went across the street the dea 7 con and the grocery man were rolling ol
 the floor, the grocery man trying to hol $ the deacon's fists while he explaine ' about the alarming needle, and that
 was intended for the boy. How 1t com = out the boy did not wait to see.