Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-07-29
REGsrKR RAYS.
"a Buriesaue wsrd II often Mighty
Sermon. -

"a BuRic8Que "Oro - ~Asc~ --8.S
Sermon. -
TIE LILY's YAREwRLE-
Home OF the free, farewell 10 thee,
Thou land OF milk nd honsyi
While memries sweet take with me,
Ibear away Thy money.
The north. the south, TIN east, the west.
Where'er the eagle hollers,
Idote on each with equ j resi-,
But oh, 1 love thy dollars.
Ny fame unto my chSrming face
Is doubtless much beholaen.
And, owing TO my queenly erase,
Iwon thy dollars golden
Sit stiIl, my heart will return
When comes the autumn starting;
For thee and thine all else III spurn-
Thy dollars are my darling.
Farewell, yet once again farewell!
Oh, MY nerves be steady;
For no one can my anguish tell
Farewell TO thee, o, Freddie!
~ Y. Journal
A SHOE DEALEE says that mothers ruin
their children's feet through vanity. Small
shoes will do it just about as quick. The
dude must go.
A YOUNG lady at Atlantic City hit 8 fell
low in the face with her psrasol the other
day for continuously gazing at her. The
dude must go.
- CHOLERA is said to affect most people
who have weak stomschs, and since the
stomach affects the head, the dude is in
danger. The dude must go.
WARS the matter with DR.. Mary Walker,
Freddie and the Lily, Oscar Wilde, Denis
Kesrney and Wang Chin Foo for draw
ing combination for next season?
The saddest eyed man in America TO day
is Freddie. Poor Freddie, how the last wave
of the Lily's handkerchief must linger in
the moonlight Of his affections. The dude
must go.
IT will be noticed that the matrimonial
season is dull. A man can't get up much
enthusiasm on loving embrace with the
thermometer in the nineties. The dude
must 60.
PADDED bathing suits are in vogue now
ar the thin girl can strut along the beach
With all the pomposity that her feshy sis
ter has monopolized in days OF yore. The
dude must go.
A YOUNG LADY in Ohio comes to the front
with feet that require No. II shoes, and
rhus Chicago girls are outdone and OHIO
adds another to her many achievements.
The dude must go.
A subscriber asks: Where is the best
p.sce to spend the summer That's a
sticker. Ask US where's the best place to
spend your cash, and We may be able to
give you some information. The dude
must g..
CoAL.OIL JouN>y is dead, and buried, &C
coriiug to some newspaper accounts, but
careful investigation proves that he has
turned up four time winner on the ace
of an iron.ore layout on Pennsylvania
green cloth of luck. The dude must go.
WARS that, John; is that the stage
coming?" asked the summer hotel propri-
etor # the porter. Yes, sir, guess it is"
Then hurry up and put some ether on
the porch; they'll be here pretty quick
and we must have it down TO seventy.fVe
at ltast."-Lowel Citizen. The dude must
20.
Tux people OF England are paralyzed over
the coming heir TO the throne-the Prince
Of Wales. If the Prince is not gentle
enough why not mount Oscar Wilde on the
nothing to shock The morality of the Eng.
h.h dudes, provided his pants were cut a
respectable length. The dude must 90.
A FASHION writer, who has tasted Of the
delights Of Newport this year, speaks OF a
wsRt sadly felt there. She pathetiCAlly
writes: at is too bad that there are not
half dozen real live lords at this beautiful
city by the sea to set the hearts OF the girls
in futter, and to carry oil an American
beauty in the fall. each one 10 his castle
The dude must 90.
THE Philadelphia Press sends the glad
tidinps that the dudes OF that city are be
coming victims of absinthe. II the Press
wants to cCntisue to occupy the promi
uent place in the bright sphere of journal
i'm which it has attained, it will do moth
irg to discourage this timely act of an ALI
Wise Providence. Will the epidemic
spread? The dude must go.
"WHo was that person who sat next to
you at table this morning" asked one gen
tleman Of another at a fashionable out'Of'
town hotel. 81 never saw such queer
acting thing; how her arms did fly across
the table, first after this dish and then
that" Yes" replied the gentleman 3D.
dressed, probably she was a Swiss bell
ringer in her earlier days. She was a
strer ger 10 me."-Boston Post. The dude
must go.
GEORGE ALFRED TOWNSEND says he went
into a Maine drug store and asked for a
glass of Congress water, and the veteran
behind the counter said; Haven't got it,
but I've got ditchy water" The Phi!adel-
phia Ncvs doubts the story, because "the
scene took place in Maine drug store, the
thirsty individual was George Alfred
Townsend, and he asked for Congress
water Oh, that's all right. The NeWS
should have seen the suggestive wink
George fired at the druggist when he asked
for The innocent beverage. That's the rea-
son the druggist didn't have it.-Norristo,ca
Hcrdd. The Dude must GO.
PERSONAL CHIT.CHAT.
JEFFERSON DAVIS regards Southern pine