The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-01-20
His Pa Disseesed.
Peek Sum-

! "l understand your pa has got to drinking again like a fish" says the gro- 4cery man to the bad boy, as tue youth came in the grocery and took a handful of dried apples. The boy ate a dried apple and then made up terrible face, and the grocery man asked him what he was trying to do with his face. The boy caught his breath and then said
 Say, don't you know any better than to keep dried apples where boy can get hold of them when he has got the mumps! You will kill some boy yet by were sweet dried apples, but they are i sour as boarding hou . keeper, aud they make me tired. Didn't you ever have the mumps: Gosh. but don't il hurt though: You have got to be darn careful when you have the humps, and no, go out bob-sledding, or skating. or you ~ill have your neck swell up biggern a milk pail. l,a said he had the humps once when he was boy and II broke him all up"
 Well. never mind the mumps, how about your pa spreeing 1t. Try one of those pickles III the Jar there won't you. l always like 10 have d boy enjoy himself when he comes to see me. said the gro eery man. winking to man who. was filling an old fashioned tin box with to- baoco out of the pail. who winked back as much as .o say. If that boy eas T pickle on top of them humps we will have d circus. sure.
 You can, play ne pickle on me. TO, when have the mumps. Ma passed the pickles to me this morning. and took one mouthful. and l liked ,o had the iockiaw. But ma didn't do II on pur- pose, guess. She never had any muinps and didn't know how diseouraging a p ckle is. Darn if didn't feel as though had been struck Tn the butt of the ear with brick But about pa. He has been fuller'n a goose ever since New Years day. l think it's wrong for women to temp, feeble minded persons with liquor on New Years. Now me and my chum. we can take drink and then let il alone. We have got brain, and know when ne have go, enough, but pa, when he gets to going don't ever stop until he gets SO sick that he can't keep his s,um- mick inside of hisself It IS getting so they look to me to brace pa up every l fixed him this time so he will never touch liquor again. l scared him so his bald head turned gray in single night"
 What under heaven have you done to liia now. saAs the sroee.y man. in as;onishmen; Il hope you haven, done anything you viii regret in after years
 Regret nothing. said the boy as he turned the lic of inc ekeesebaN back and took the knife and sliced of piece of cheese. and took a few crackers au;=o. barrel. and sa, down on d soap box by the stove. You see ma was annoyed 10 death with pa. He would come home full, when sine had company. and~ lay down on the sofa and snore. and he would smell like dis,llev. |, hurt me 10 see ma cry. and told her would break pa of finkias f she would le, ne and she sad If would promise not to hurt pa to go ahead. ans promised no, to. Then got my chum aad another boy. quite big boy, to help, and pa is all right We went down to the place where they sell arms and legs. to folks who have served in the army, or saw mil. or threshIng machine. and los, their limbs, and we borrowed some arms and legs. and hxed up a dissec,ing room. We fixed long table Tn the basement bigenough to lay pa out on. you know. and then we got false whissers ard nous taches. and when pa came Tn the house drunk and laid down on the sofa and 70, 10 sleep we took him and laid h.m out on the table. and took some trunk straps. and surcinsle and strapped him down To the table. He slep, right along all through #. and we had another table with the ii!se arms and legs on. and We rolled up our sleeves. and smoked Iipes. lus, like read that medical students do when they GU, up man. Well. you'd dide to sec pa look at us when he woke up. l SAW hlm open his eyes. and then we be- gan ,o talk abou, cutting up dead men. Ne put hickory nuts in our mouths so our VoiceS wonid sound different. 50 he wouldn't know Us. and was telling the other heys about what time we had cut ting up the las; man we bought l said he WIS awful tough. and when he had got his legs oif and had taken out his brain. h,s friends come to the disseeiing room and claimed the body. and we had 10 give 1t up. but l saved the legs. l looked q, pa on the table and he began to turn pale. and he squirmed around to get up. but found he was fast. l had pulled his shirt up under his arms. while he was asleep, and as he began 10 move took an icicle. and in the dim light of the cand Les. that were sitting on the table in beer bottles. 1 drew the iciole across pas s,umm.ok and said to my chum. Doc. l guess we better cut up ths old duffer and see If he died from inflammation ofthe stun mick from hard drinking as the coroner sa,d he did Ia shuddered all over when he felt the iciele going over his bare s;ummick. and he said. For God'S sake. gentlemen. what does th:s mean: am not deaa,' The other boys looked a; pa ln as;enishment. and sad, Well. we bough, you for dead. and ,he oorener's Jun said you were dead. and by the eternal we am, gong 10 be fooled ou, of corpse when ae buy ore. are We
 Doef My ohum said nol !; he knowed hIs self. and the other students said. 'o, course he IS dead He thinks he IS alive