Daily globe., 1883-08-04
PLEASANT.RIES.
DoCToRs live by piIlage.

OOCTORS ANo Ny PAAaSO'
CALIFORNIA is raisin' raisins.
A HEA1TH-G1v1NG number-Quinine.
THE man who had so elastic q step
wore rubbers.
How man decides how he will build
his house-By lot.
The chiropodist first dates from Will
lam the Corncurer.
The term Mormon means the NOR
mon-y you have the more wives you can
be sealed to.
The man who hesitates is lost. That
is why Charlie Ross hesitates abont
coming back.
In the voyage of life every man is
provided with skull, with which to
paddle his own canoe.
WICKED New York men want to be
buried in Greenwood, because it won't
burn so quickly as the dry.
DARWIN says: "Man, only can
whistle" Darwin certainly never lived
anywhere near railroad crossing.
A PROCESSION of men passed through
the Bowery and were an hour passing
given point. The given point was sa-
loon.
WHATEVER you have to do, do it with
your might. Many lawyer has made
his fortune by simply working with
will.
QUEEN VIcToRIA's children stand in
great awe of their regal mamma. No
wonder - she is so much great awe than
they.
"A1wAYs pay as you CO." said an old
man to hisnephew. "But, uncle, suppose
I have nothing to pay with?'' "Then
don't CO."
"Do TRY and talk little common
sense" said a young lady to her visitor.
"Ah, but wouldn't that be taking an
unfair advantage of you?"
WHAT swindlers there are in college
business An institution in this State
which claims to fit young men for the
ministry doesn't own single croquet
set.
WHosoEvER shall smite thee on thy
right cheek, turn to him the other Also
is biblical expression. In modern
parlance it is termed "a reversible
cuff"
IT seems that competition has forced
the price of false teeth down so low that
it isn't really worth body's while to
cut his natural ones.-BoTtington
Haa0k-Eye.
SCENE: Bridal reception. Several of
the guests, after shaking hands with the
bride, and all speaking at the same
time: "Where is the bridegroom :"
Bride, naively-" Oh, he's upstairs
watching the wedding presents. :"
|
| sight of thee hath gladdened;
| Olce more thou bring'st blest surprise
| 10 him ihire absence saddened.
! Too loag thy pcar,-whits hand hath pressed
| That Of some other felier,
Come let ire clasp thee to my breast,
My loved and lost umbrella
ALL women are naturally afraid Of a
COW. Madam" said the oleomargarine
| dealer, when she uttered shrek at dis
covering that it was bogus butter she
WIS handling, madam, you needn't be
alarmed. The COW it was made from is
loo dead to hurt you
- OI City boy was recently taken to
lie q. era house by his uncle. a few
ayen1p-ss subsequently, there was com
p.l,y - lis house, and the uncle an6
.,,.,ls wole among the number. The lad
MS relating what he saw, and among
usi.vr things said: Ct was q little bit
a;cEid, COZ every time the curtain rolled
down uncle went out to see man, and
left Inc alone"
"PAPA," said an lnquisitiye boy,
"this morning the dominic prayed fol
more rain, and this afternoon Deacon
Bixby prayed for dry weather to get lis
hay in. Now, if the Lord loves the
deacon and the dominic just the same,
what do you suppose He'll do about it 2
"My son, answered the old gentleman
sternly, "whenever you want 10 as2
foolish questions, go to your mother
dOn't come to me-
IMPORTANT TO PIANISTS.