The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-11-10
How to Subdue u Wfre.

i. Col. Smuggins is rare gentleman of
the old school, while his wife is a
devotee Of the new. Up to the present
life to the twain has not passed on
"golden Wings" but the time has been
filled in a slipshod, go-as-you-please
kind Of way. She has always had her
way, and he has always submitted un.
der protest. She is proud and defiant,
and pluck to the core. 1t was the
dream Of his life to subdue this defiance.
lie had studied for years plan to ex
pertinent with his wife without any
practical result, when one evening, not
quite month ago, as he was seated
| Upstairs quite neglige, the idea which
has since worked like a charm struck
nm. Like the mathematician of old,
l:n"raSaI he rushed wildly downstairs and yelled
His wife Ioomed up, and he recover
ed, lie swore nothing ygf the matter,
but She told him he was, ,otting. and
that it might be against Il lone woman
like herself. For the first time in years
ne kissed her a regular Judas Iscariot
kiss, which was so unexpected she for
once ceased to animadyert upon his
wrongs and his GOODNESS. This was the
scheme he intended to try. AS long as
he had beon married his wife had never
gone III bathing at the beach, although
he had importuned her a hundred times
to 60 with him. He soon discovered
the reason. She hated to appear in q
bathlng-suit that would display her
thin form, for IN public she did not an
pear thin.
l!e had an india-rubber bathing suit
made that could be inflated, and depos-
lied it at tho store where his wife trad
ed. lie gave the head clerk q pointer.
and promised him to treat to cham |
pagne if he succeeded.
Ills wife went to price goods as usual |
When the Suave-mannered clerk told
her that a man in New York had pat-
entcd bathing suit of iudia-rubber for |
ladies' that were thin, but, said he.
Mrs. Smuggins is noU Oh the thin list
and l'll not show It," But she desired |
10 sec IL, if not too much trouble. AZ
Ter thorough examination, she told
nm her niece was coming shortly
TO see her, and she would buy it for
her.
What was the Colonel's surprise TO
hear her say next day if some husbands
were like other husbands they would
take their wives in bathing. lie asked
her TO go that evening, and chuckled
with diabolical glee.
AT the bath-hOuse she took Il long
Time TO dress in her room, but he wait
Ell for her with patience, confident Of
success.
When she emerged from the room
she had the "patent'' OF under The
other suit. She looked as round and
plump as usual and wh!k@a, c,,smly past
His triumph was near. In the foam
ing waves they went. It was new to
her. She enjoyed it. So did he. Her
friends were thele, all surprised to see
her out. The sport became general
now. The Colonel swan around his
wife. and did something with a small
penknfe which he Immediately drop
ped in the water. In Il few minutes
his wife called him to her, pale and
with fright.
"Hubby," Sic said, coaxingly, "my
bathlng-suit is torn, and 1 don't want
to go out before the crowd"
"Let me see,' he said.
"Oh, no; can't you believe me?"
lie fold her coldly no, aud, further
more, sho had to walk out before the
crowd or not go out with him at all.
Things looked dreadful for her now,
and she called him pet names, just like
she did before they were married, be-
fore she promised to obey, love and
cherish, and all those things. She told
him she had imposed upon his good
nature, that he was an angel, and that |
from that moment her life would |
change, and her diminished figure |
trembled like an aspen leaf, while one
little hand clutched the rope, and the |
o3her was held out to him in muto de-
spair.
Col: Smuggips was not stone, so her
child-like form wrs gathered in his
arms and she was taken out unobscrv-
ed aid taken home. She is now the
sweetest and most tractable wife on the
island, and Col. Smuggius is happy
man again. But she never dreams Of
the put-up trlck, and the Colonel is
coItentcd to pay tho annuity to tn
clerk in tho way Of treats to keep it a
secret from her.