Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-11-02
Jack Richards on the Mule.

"You ask me how high a mule can
kick. Don't tempt me, stranger
did not see it did, but they showed me
an old grizzly gray mule in San Anto-
Mo that won bet by kicking mar
tin box clean off from the gable end Of
a church.
4 owned sudden kicker once my
self. l sold him to doctor at Park
er Hollow.
'When he took the kinks all out of
his mortal coil, l think he could hit
man on the opposite side Of the street,
but, stranger, mind, | never see him
do it.
Hold a shoe, you ask ME! Until
thar amt nothing left on the bottom
of his foot but iron rust.
Sam Denver told me he had roam
mule that came from Sierra Nevadas,
in ga, that had worn the same iron
for thirteen years, but, stranger, Sam
Denver was man who, when he told
the truth, allowed a good deal fo'
shrinkage, and told things large.
'They carry til cir age we'll, you say:
You can bury your coin, the whole OF
of it, on this statement, stranger
Whenever you can tell the age of
salt Goldfish by counting the bones in
his body, you can guess at mules
existence here on earth by his teeth.
after mule has lived eight seasons
he never grows any older, not by his
teeth.
Bones are all solid. did you say?
This is just as certain as sixteen ounces
make pound. And they never de,
you add? You are close to the bulls
eye again, stranger. l have been mix
ed up with the mule for thirty six
years and never saw one yet lay down
fiat and pull his last breath. A dead
mule would scare me as much as the
ghost Of my grandfather.
Stumble did you observe? Not if [
know the critter. They will slip down
the grade as natural as snake, and
when they put their foot down they
take it up from the same spot. Stran
ger, mule is just as sure with his
front feet as his hind ones. and if
man should tell me that he had seen
mule kick man, ten feet off twice in
a second. | wouldn't ask the man to
sware to it. | would look upon him
as man Of genius-a man of keen OBJ
servation.
'Balky sometimes are you talking?
Now you are Citing right down to
Figures. Balky!I have heard tell Of
mules which would balk' when they
was being led to water, and of pair
that belonged to ranchman near Yu-
ba Dam who baked to an empty wa
gon, and stood right thar from sun up
till sun set. The shadows Of them
was photographed onto the side of the
road and could be plainly seen thar for
six weeks afterwards. | hearn this
told when l was down to Yuba, but,
stranger, l don't back up the an
nouncement only for limited amount
Run away, did you say? Did you
never saw mule, or pair of them.
git skeered and brake for timber p
Never did, stranger? Then your eddi-
cation has been neglected.
There amt nothing but stroke OF
lightning or a rifle-ba tina, can soothe
runaway mule.
Hitch pair of mules to the cor
ner of church, git good scare on
the mules, and you couldn't see that
church for the dust it would make
going down the pike.
Stranger, understand me, | have
never seen pair Of mules run away
with church, out | don't care what
your bet is, Jack Richards always
backs the mule.
Free from disease of all kinds, is
it? Well, | reckon so. l have saw a
hundred thousand mules in my days,
but never saw one yet who had ca
lamity Of any kind. / have heard old
mule drivers say they had often had
mules attacked by grizzleys, and had
all one side Of the mules eaten off, but
the mules would grow right out again
in few weeks as fresh as ever, per-
baps a different color on that side.
Stranger, things are getting little hot
with me, and if | should, under the
excitement Of the moment, offer to
bet on the above statement, | should,
upon reflection, beg the privilege of
drawing the stakes
What the Barometer Knows About