Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-12-05
BRIGHT BITS.

"EvACUATIoN DAY. is first recorded in the
calendar of the Garden of Eden.
\ TORONTO man waited until he was So
years old before he got married. That Is like
running 3 miles to get good start for II
inch jump.-Hd1okeye Dots.
sARE there any of the big guns of the church
around?" asked a reporter. Yes said
man q. the yestry door, 1.-THE gentleman just
inside is a Canon. n-Tecds Siftings.
4 CoNNECTICUT man claims to have a cat
that eats cucumbers. This is something that
ought TO be encouraged IN the cat family as
much as Observation-Disclosures Hd1Ckeye.
THERE are no nice little stories about the re
turn Of THE PrOdigal Daughter" The son
can return and have the finest veal served up
for him. but the daughter must stay away
NelC Orleans Picdyune.
us THIS your dog, John?" ''NO; he belongs
to squire Smith. And between YOU and me
he's a deal smarter than his owner" "1es;
there are dogs of that sort. l have had several
myself. "-HdrDer's BGsdr.
CONTRACTS made on sunday cannot be en-
forced" Aminidab says his maiden aunt
beau had his arm contracted about her last
SUNDAY. and it seemed to him as though II was
enforced. from a key-hole characterization
Independent.
No MATTER how strong and brave a man
may be, he viii put his pocketbook IN his IN
side pocket, that no thief may secure 1t. On
the other hand, no matter how delicate and
weak q young lady may be, she VIII boldly
hold her pOcketbOOk in her hand, wqere every
highwayman.-PUck.
s.IwANT to get a dogs muzzle,'' said a little
fellow entering hardware store. us IL Tor
your father:" asked the cautious store keep
er. mo. of course it isn't" replied the little
fellow Indignantly, sits for our deg" The
stOre-k keeper has resolved to be more guarded
IN the future when he asks customers ques-
tions.-IOH Gazette.
HARVARD STUDENT to Mathew ArnOld-"We
take great pride in our English ancestry, Mr..
Arnold" Mr.. ArnOld-"YOu ought to; there
is no better stock" Harvard student-"But
l am glad the men of English blood are not so
numerous in this country as they are IN Eng
land.n Mr.. Arnold somewhat confused
"Why?" Harvard student Because the
saving virtues, you know, abide with the NIL
nOrity."
THE wife of Mr. August Egg entered a COM
DIaint at the Police Court to have him ar
rested for i'll treatment. When the officers
went for Egg he had left the nest and wan
dered of. His wife, however, found him IN
Mulberry street in half-drunken condition,
and dragged him to police headquarters,
she married a bad Egg" she replied, How
are you to know an Egg is bad till you tryIt ;"
The JUdge.
'.YOU cawnt guess how much mother
weighsg" said the Prince to Mary Anderson,
when he saw the conversation was about to
flag. Il should say she weighs at least hun
dred," said Mary. confidently. NO" SAID the
Prince "A hundred and twenty, thenEo said
Mary. mo again." chuckled His Royal High
ness. "a hundred and f-ffty?" cautiously
ventured Mary. "Evings!' cried Albert
low little great hactress knows of
imperialism! Mother weighs two 'un-
dred Miss Anderson; two 'undred, you
know" Two hundredr' exclaimed Mary,
chow do wish / was an Empress. Albert,
and could weigh so muchr' Here the Prin-
cess Beatrice came in to say that mamma
politely backed out of the roOm.-LouisciJle
COurfer-yOurRdJ.