The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1883-05-23
The Other Side.

or tic grntler sex their side Of the contruversy
rs 10 domestic virtues or fittings. At home
there has been no sign OF Il reply. Abroad
the case Is quite the revtrse.. A Connecticut
girl. in the Hartford Times. takes up the rud.
gel f. r her sex. She think. something should
6e said In the Papers In the way az advising
young men how to become acceptable hus-
bands. She repudiatcs the Idea that mo
woman should be eligible for marriage until
she is q gooi cook" We quote her remarks
on this subject In full:
l. the reward Of marriage. which In a vast
number Of cases proves to he p wrttcied
farce, such a boon to woman that IN order to
gain II she must im:nOlnte herself In a cook.
stove? According to these lordly orncles. who
are 80 fond OF settling the "sphere" OF woman.
she must know how to wash. Iron. sweep.
dust, darn. mend and I've general OverSper OF
the house, besides BRINGING up the children
correctly; she musf also have tho meals well.
cooked. and always on time, the baby and
count for every penny Of the small amount
OF money she has TO spend. and no mntter
how many little vexations and trials she has
bonn all day, she must not even have the
prive lege OF feeling glum about II. Newspa-
pers are also constantly tel ing woman that
she must lily" to greet her husband when she
hears his footsteps In the hall. ar
rose in her hair and a smile on her lips.
Woman il ordered to smile whether she feels
like 1t or not, even if her husband Is cross.
unrnmpanioahle and unsympathlzing, as a
selfish nature often makes him. To he sure. a
knowledge OF cooking IL an essential element
Of good Housekeeping: smiles are pleasantpr
than frnwns and this constant advice ny
would answer vety we'll II 1t was occasionally
given to husbands as well as TO the wives.
That perpetual smile Of ye ancient paragraph
Is centuries OFT. notwithstanding Its antiquity
II is handed around through pulpit and press
until srlfrcspecting men and women nre
nauscatrd with 1t. such n sided advice Is
not calculated to produce smiles to order.
Women must smile, woman must cook, other
wise she is not worthy Of the noble privilege
of having the title Mrs" engraved upon her
tombstone and visiting cards. Ladies. those
Of you are humhly grateful to accept the pat
r~onizing invitation Of one OF these cooking
hobby men 10 become his "hOuSehnld angel
(Which properly trnnsl !tei more often means
household drudge), and whose highest Idea Of
your gifts, graces ard eduration, and turn
your attention 10 the cultivation OF smiles
and huchwheat cakes.
Now this is spicy reading. and the woman
who complains In. much pluck and q deal OF
justice on her side. II marriage prove a
wretchcd 'arce In any case. 1t is NOT because
the female party I" the contract did or did not
how to cook, hut because 1t was entered into
without proper motives or sympathieS., Filher
the Devil presided al the nupiials or else was
permitted 10 enter the sanctuary afterwhrd.
are perhaps better when the women has he
executive talent Of housekeeping whether she
becomes a drudge or not. No man VINO loves
mis- wife Will desire To make q slave or her. NO
| WDIldu WHO lONtS HtT HusIdllu Will CblSlOSi
an equal share or the burden the II nal for
hatred and complaint. We agree with, the
Connecticut women that a wholesome pirl has
the right to expect n Wholesome husband, II
any. But II happens unfortunately, By some
strange perv"rsity. that the best women d"
not always fancy the best men,, and that the
heart only too frequently deceives the head:
When reason resumes away the affections. II
betrayed. revolt. Then matyrdom or sepera-
tion may result. To red EN- ourselves as
much as possible from the imputation OF
being nnr.sided In this important matter, we
insist that young men who expect to marry
eStimailp. industrious. intelligent and worthy
women shnll tit themselves to he such nus
| andS az these women have the right 10 look
laying down as n maxim that all women
should necessarily marry. On the contrary,
there are NOT q few Who VIII be a the happler
for single-hlesSednesS. provided they have an
their ambition.
We see II stated that there are in Massa-
rhnSrtts Isl. lis women who are not married.
but who resent the imputaiion of b, ing super.
fluOus. Some Of these SpinsterS support men
who ought to help support them; hut we
agree with the boston G'obe that "whrn a man
abdicatrs, through original inraracity or ac-
quired Snift'csNt,rss. his right to do mans
work and marries n smart woman for the sake
of u home, he should be compelled to discard
forked attire and swaddle himself approrri-
at,ly In pciticoatS." We also ngree with the
SAME authority Tat "a man who would IN
vcigIe one of them INTO mrtrimony IN order
TO siirk his natural rcsp"nsibilily should ne
left TO SUBMIT upon such nntriment IN he ma!
he able to derive by sucking the head OF n
bamboo canc." A Boston woman shows In
u letter to the editor how It may be possible
for 81 sInart woman to reverse ordinary rules
between husband and wife, a year retain
happiness. She says:
/ am a milIncr, and I have made between
one thousand five hundred dollars and two
some time past. | ma rri'd four years ago.
: My husband TX kind and good looking. but he
never learned any trhde. had no profession,
wear. loved him, however, but I saw that 1t
would not do to depend upon him., so | Kept
on with my business.
az we we've both away during the day could
not keep house, and got sick. OF b0arding.
Finally | proposed that hrsiiould keep house
: and | would run the business and find the
This way for two years. My husband gets up
and builds the fire, gets breakfast, and | leave
at 7:H for my place OF business. He does the
washing and ironing, the cleaning, and 90
not know of any woman who beat him. He
Is rs nent rs wax and can cook equal TO any
one in town.
time has now come when women who have
husbands to support should make them work;
otherwise they are luAuries we must 90 With
out. Please print this for the benefit OF my
sex.
In the above ca 20, tue wnrnan Is the superior
of the man. The sexes have been accidenily
mixed. The mas Line character OF the wife
has fnunf It's fitting mate In the feminine IN
| dividua, ity Of the husband. Mennly iS we
may, at first blush. think of that kind of man,
he Is much more entitled to respect than the
dude or luafcr who permits the m to 40
all the work and earn all the money. And
! yet tl,ere are many women who have such
husbands and love them too! II Is mon
strouS paradox. but since the flood, no sage has
: arisen who could read the riddle ofa wOn,nn'S
heart. 1t ls a grand thing when two beings
form n llta-partnership who are fitted fur one
another. In all essentials. and who bear each
others burdens with cirerfu!ne'S. fidelity and
courage. But this is n fare conjunction. One
or the other usually has the Inns share of the
bliss or misery. That there may he as few
young men contemplating matrimony: Make
yourselves worthy Of the women who are sacri-
flciDg so much to be worthy Of you!