Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-03-07

Nh. sroopExpYKE EXPLAINS rrs xIsrEx1Ks
TO HIS WIFE

nsction.
"What doss hs sayr' asked Mrs. Spoo-
psndyks, cooking her head 70 one side,
as d woman always does when her bus
band IL trying to listen. :,
!" He don't say anything yet" erovled
Mr.. Spoopsndyke. "Hs amt like you.
He waits until he has 60: something i'm
portant on his mind, and then be says It.
Hello. hello.' reared Mr.. Spoopend,ke,
giving the crank vicious twist and 2iar-
ing into the euunciatof with vindictive
look. Nov you keep that mouth of
yours tied up. or you're liable TO lose It
some day." with which doleful prognos-
tication Mr.. Spoopendyke rattiec away
| at the crank aud awaited some sign OF
life at the other end.
"Isuppose it is really that girls fault"
murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke, smiling
! at the instrument a. though she smeiied
the young lady from afar and found her
no better than she ought to be. don't
suppose she's there at all. More likely
she's Radding around somewhere"
"Whatd ye want TO talk just then for!'
howied Mr.. Spoopendyke. What's your
measiy object in breaking out with the
conversational smallpox at that critical
juncture! Don't you know she was just
beginning 10 talk, and you made me lose
her! tell you one thing" added Nr.
| Sp0opendy Ike, with impressive solemnity,
"if you don't shut your mouth once in
while, the moths will get IN there and
make you trouble"
you haven't lost her," replied Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke, wrinkling her nose. you'll
have no trouble with her If she's got
started"
4" Hello. hello! call up Mr.. Specklewot-
tle" bawled Mr.. Spoopendyke, appa-
rently convinced by his wifs's manner
or his own experience. There, she's
gone. No use for me to try anything
when you're around. Another time
want TO talk through telephone, I'll
take it over into vacant lot. Do you
know OF anything that will keep you
quiet for a momenti" demanded Mr..
Spoopendyke, his wrath rising ~ he con-
tempiated his i'll usage. "Neyer mind
the expense. Just name the article,
Why didn't you tell me. when you re-
ferred me TO your measly old dad, that
was proposing marriage to dod gasted
stc am dictionary"
"Say, dear. can l talk through it?"
} oooed Mrs. Spoopendy Ike, anxious 10 dis
. arm her husband.
J Is there anything you can't talk
through" squeal.d Mr.. Spoopendyke,
beginning 10 realize that there was some
! thing about the telephone that he did not
} thoroughly understand. "When get a
telephone for you, the diaphram will be
OF doubled and twisted wrought steel
with railroad tracks for wires, and don't
} believe that will last more'n an hour and
half. Hello! hello-o-o! wake mp and
call mp Specklewottle, dog CAST ye"' and
Mr.. Spoopendyke ratified away at the
crank until his arm ached.
BE patient, dear. You said she'd
gone, and it's q long way around to Mr..
Specklewottie's house. Perhaps he isn't
home and she's waiting for him"
That's the way it works, chr cried
MIR. Spoopendyke, Riaring at his wife.
1T took you to get hold of 1t! When |
call that girl she goes home to dinner,
and along in the evening she goes around
to SpeoklewOttle's house and brings him
here in hack. That's your idea of IT.
Or p'raps you've got some sort of no
ton that she runs the wire through
Specklewottle, turns on the current and
slams him right up here through the side
Of the house! That's your idea. Well,
she don't, and she don't break her back
trying to make dog gasted idiot of her
self, like some women"
| II shink understand how it works."
fsltersd Mrs. Spoopendyke. "You say,
Yellow! yellow"
the combinationr yelled Mr..
Spoopendyke. lyon got your work in
that time! Why didn't you till me was
bringing this thing home to the inventor?
What'd you want to lot me stand up here
and explain this thing to the only COM
prehensive brain that ever tackled it for?
You'veRot Il! With what you know now
and what you We got to find out, you only
need wig and law suit to be the whole
science of electricity. tell you this is
the way it works" and Mr.. SpOopendyke
gave the box kick that splintersd il.
Sec It work. he cried, pulling at the
wires until they cut his hands. "Watoh
1t while l convey your regards to the
other luuatics," and he danced on the
remnants Of the instrument and mashed
the fragments against the wall.
Never mind, DEAR" demonstrated
Mrs. Spoopendyke. puttering around af-
ter him and trying TO soothe him.
when We want Mr.. Specklewottle
again. veil st send servant around
after him. That'll be much nicer than
trusting TO . nasty wire, and l know
there was . dsaught through that box,
for ] could feel it AZ soon as it came in
the ROOM"
oh, you could feel it!'' roared Mr..
Spoopsnlyke, rather wondering how he
was going 10 account to the company
for the destruction Of his box. eff /
had your sensitiveness and an onion, I'd
hire out rs dod gasted orchidr' and
with this eliminating sarcasm Mr.. Spos-
pendyke crushed his hat over his ears
and rushed around toMr. Specklew ottle's
IN see what had better be done about the
matter.
II don't care" murmursd Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke, ~ she topped down on the
floor to pick up tho pieces Of the wrecked
telephone box; hell not have any OPP
por,unity for standing up here aud talk
ing to that girl until his legs are tired"
and with this mage expression of her sat-
issaotion over the result Of the expert
ment, Mrs. Spoopeudyke broke OF the
ends OF the bent wires aud laid them
aWAv TO Grimm her hair m