The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1883-11-15
HUMOROUS.

"A regular kidnaper - soothing
sirup.-Philodelphid Herald.
The question is: Can girl who
doesn't use powder make her hair bang?
-"Mr Jipso INDUCES largely in
hyperbole, remarked the high-school
girl to her mother. Yes" answered
the old lady; "Mrs. Jones told me he d
taken to drinking; I'm so sorry for his
wife, poor thing. "-OI city Derrick.
The Boston girl goes into music
store and asks for ''saccharine speci-
mems of the genus viola order violacae,
perennial herbaceous plants, acaulescent
or caulescent, peduncles angular, soli-
tary." And the clerk wants to know il
Fritz Emmett wrote it, and she faints.-
Chicago Times.
Two Partisan Esaus were taking
supper at a farmhouse near Orleans.
All at once one of them made wry
face, called the housewife and showed
her very fine blonde hair in the hare
ragout. The good woman smiled and
said: Eyes, there is one, after all; ex-
cuse me, gentlemen. l thought L had
taken them all out!'
"A writer in Northern newspaper
says that he can throw a piece of Arkan-
saw corn-bread through brick wall
ten feet thick. This story is greatly ex-
aggerated, as nine feet and half is the
thickest wall through which piece of
bread can be thrown. Such reckless
writer's tend to bring State into con-
tempt.-Artansdw IrareLIer.
Jaw, you can sell me, aw, blue
neck-tie to match my eyes, you know?"
inquired an Austin dude in a gentleman's
furnishing store. Don't know as !
can, exactly" replied the salesman.
''but can fit you with soft hat to
match that head" Then the dude
withdrew from the store, a crushed
strawberry hue efusing his effeminate
features. Siftings.
Nothing could 90 beyond an adver-
tisement we met with lately of Yam
kee auctioneer. 1t offered for sale a
"sweet and pensive retirement " on the
banks of the Hudson, and after describ-
ing the streams of sparkling bright
ness" and the "fruits of the tropics in
golden beauty" mentions that 1.-The
stables are worthy of the steeds of MINI
rod or the studs of Achilles, and its
heronry was built expressly for the birds
of Paradise, while somber in the dis
lance, like the cave of hermit, glimpses
are caught of the dog house. y Chicago
Tribune.
DIR. j. Marion Sims having pro-
nounced Washington the most beautiful
city in the world, Washington news
paper says: "Dr. Sims has an interna-
tional reputation, a hundred-thousand-
dollar practice, a palace on Madison
avenue, New York, and decorations
enough to cover his body with medals
and crosses. After the war, when food
and medicine were scarce and disease
plentiful, he sent his old South Carolina
neighbors one of his fees, twenty thou
sand dollars, and his heart acknowledges
their every claim for sympathy"
An evasive answer: Pat" said his
reverence, Il shall be very busy this
afternoon, and if any one calls do not
wish to be disturbed. "An right, sor;
will tell them you're not in?'' mo,
Pat; that would be lie.'' "An
phwat'll l say, yer reverence" sob,
Just put them off with an evasive an
swer." At supper time Pat was asked
if any one had called. "Faix, there
did" "And what did you tell him?"
said the priest. "Shure, an l give him
an eyasive answer" How was that?"
queried his reverence" "He axed ne
was yer honor in, an 1 SEE to him, SEE I:
WAS yer grandmother hoot-owl?' ~
n Y. Graphic.