davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-09
POKER POINTS,
Wherein Professor Proctor's Cal.
culations Proceed Upon In
correct Data.
From the Boston Globe.

From the Boston Globe.
Mr.. Proctor, the eminent astronomer, diff
fers from the majority of savants in that he
frequently turns the light of his intellect
upon the practical affairs of the world, and
illumina.es subjects that are closely con-
nected with the daily life of the average
man He has recently devoted his time to
calculating the mysteries of draw poker,
and has made some calculations Of the c, m
parafive value of the various hands. Mr..
Proctor ascertains that there are 2,59S, 800
possible hands. and that a straight flush is
liable to occur only forty times out of that
number, which indicates that royal fushes
are very rare things but, like many other
scientific men. he overlooks any element in
the game that a tactical pokeris: would
consider first of a.: in calculating how many
times royal fusi. could be obtained In the
course of an evenings play, viz: the ele-
ment Of skill. Mr.. Proctor evidently com.
miis the prodigious error Of looking upon
draw poker as a game of chance. which il
isn't-thst is, not always. In the hands
of men entirely great the deal is mightier
than mathematics.
Mr.. Proctor's table of chances is as fol-
lows:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-09

-Ol the many remedies before the pub
lie for Nervous Debility and weakness of
Nerve Generative Ssstem, there is none
equal to Aliens Brain Food, which
promptly and permanently restores all
LOST vigor; it never fails. 81; for Sat-
druggists, or by mail from j. HI. Alien, 3I5
First ave New York Civ.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-09
Cowhidiu9 q Dude.

A cowhiding affair, in which a bewitch-
ing brunette moved in fashionable society
played ledaing role, has caused decided
sensation in Savannah, Ga. The lady in
question had been annoyed by several
notes from a man supposed to be a com.
merciaI traveller for q New York house.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-09
The Lips We Love to Press

inclose pretty teeth, and exhale fragrance
when opened. II this double charm were
wanting, they would lack their main at.
traction and probably remain unkissed.
SOIODONT will secure it. Discoloration
OF the teeth, unhealthiness of the gums,
and breath which causes repugnance,
are completely remedied by this incom-
parable beauti6er and antiseptic of the
teeth, which is as pleasant to taste and
smell as it is reliable in its action.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-09
Executors Notice.

Notice is hereby given that letters of ad.
ministration on the estate OF Isaac Archer.
deceased, were granted to the undersigned
on the 3Oth day of August, 1883, b. the
probate court of Pettis county, Missouri.
All persons having claims against said
estsie are required to exhibit them for all
lowauce to the executor within one wear
after the date OF said letters, o. they NAV
be precluded from any benefit of said es-
tate.
And it such claim he not exhibited
within two years from the date of this
publication they shall be forever barred.
This August 30th, 1883.
GEO. e. HALLENBECK.
S4WSt" Execution.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-09

"A young man appeared a. the Council
Grove, Kansas, post-ofice last week with
package containing young live rattle
snake which ne wished to send by mail to
. friend in Lawrence. The postmaster in
formed him that Uncle Sam strictly forbids
sending rattlesnakes, gunpowder, young
mules, dynamite or Texas steers through
the mails.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-09

Now is the Time to treat Catarrh of
long standing. Ely's Cream Balm reaches
obstinate cases, where all other remedies
fail. 1t is not liquid nor snuff and is
easily applied. Price soc
Catarrh and Hay Fever - For
twenty years was sufferer from Catarrh
Of the head and throat in a very aggrs-
vated form. and during the summer with
Hay Fever. procured a bottle of Ely's
Cream Balm and after a few applications
received decided bene6t-was cured by one
bottle. Have had no return of the com
plaint.-Charlotte Parker, Waverly, n. Y.
price so cents per bottle.)
Mr.. A. Nichols, of this place, says he
suffered from Catarrh for years. He pur-
chased bottle Of Ely's Cream Balm OF us.
He is now almost cured, and says YOU car
nvt recommend it too highly. We are
selling more of Ely's Cream Balm than all
other Catarrh remedies, can hardly keep a
supply on hand.-Evans Bros, Druggists,
Independence, Iowa.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-09

-"Dr. Benson's Celery and Chamomile
Pills, are worth their weight in gold in
nervous and sick headache" ~. RI.
Schlichter, Of Baltimore.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-09

-"Five doctors no end of medicine no
relief. DR.. Benson's Skin Cure has driven
away all eruptions and I'm nearly WE'LL"
Ida g. Young, Hamilton, Ill.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-09

If YOU suffer with Sick Headache, Con-
sumption, Sour Stomach. or Bilious at
tacks, EMoRY,S LITTLE CATHARTIC PILLS.
will relieve you.-l5 cents.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-09

Ladies beautify your complexion with
0lenn's Sulphur Soap.
"Hill's Hair and Whisker Dye, /"
SOC.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-09

Buy your Jeans and Cassimeres ut the
wooden Mill store. 10 2wlm.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-09
CHICAGO HEATHEN
Put it on the Bill Nyes of the
Bluegrass in q Way We
Deepise.

"Abou, the sharpest bit of gambling tina,
l have seen for some time occurred up al
our town short while ago." said a Lex
ing sport last night to q little crowd OF
cOngenisl companions.
"You all know Ernest Fouchee. / guess
every sport jim Kentucky knows Ernest.
He Is the last man in the in the world to
be picked up for sucker Vel, a short
time ago Ernest went TO Chicago to lay in
supply of cards aid chips for his poker
room. He went into one Of the
big caro- houses and bought his
goods. He gave directions where TO send
them, and LETT. That evening he steered
straight for home. He had hardly left the
card store when two men came in and ask
ed if Mr.. Fouchees package had been sent.
The clerk replied that j: had not, and they
said that Mr.. Fouchee had changed his
mind abou, sending it, and that as they
we're going TO Le- ington they would take
charge of the cards. They asked what the
bill was, and paid it. OF course the clerk
had no idea of any job, and as the men
paid for the cards, he let them take them
of. The two men took the cards around
to their room and marked them, or put
marked cards in their places. They then
toph shC poShdSS uoWI W thC CABkSSS
fee, and left word there to have the
goods sen, to Lexington. They then
got on board the first train and started for
the bluegrass capital. The sports OF Lex
ington were surprised and dszzIed by the
way the strangers spent their money None
of The poker-players made their bets half
so recklsss!y, and none of the faro-players
piled their chips up so carelessly. In two
days they got rid Of 1000. One Friday
night the Chicago cards came, and Fouchee
gathered little party in his room to try
the new stock. Luck ran towards the
strangers, and as the night began to wane
the plies OF money in front of them grew
steadily. AT length, at 10 o'clock Sa,ur-
day morn ng. Ernest rose from the table
He had lost everything, and as the strang-
ers counted over their winnings they found
themselves $1,000 ahead. Fouchee doesn't
keep poker room Courier Journal.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-09

Church-yard coughs can be cured by
Hale's Honey Of FOREGROUND and
Tar
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in
one minute.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-10-09

Stocking yarns, all wool, only IS Cts, at
the Wooden Mill store. lO-2v1m.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-03-09

Do You acknowledge an acquaintanc
with the chicken-hearted caitiilwho drop
ped it? Are you aware that / found /
within three feet Of the domestic nest q
Mrs. Biddy danguidly)-"Did you?
didn't notice it..
o. G., Esq. .-"poace, hen, and listen!
while in calm but decisive terms | stiiv,
to Impress upon your mind the enormitl
of y)ur conduct Has it not been docid
ed, ask, you, madame, has il not beer
the opinion Of rooster kind for ages, and
is it not, therefore, undeniable, that, after
disinterestedness the ono thing necdful to
the female character is excessive modes
ty? A true hen is SO strictly and severe
ly virtuous that tho slightest attempt at
intimacy from one of an improper sex,
though disguised beneath tho Hpecious
mask Of friendship, will excite in her
breast the EXTREMIST aversion and horror.
On the contrary, what do find to be the
case in regard to yourself? Only ycster-
day, on returning unexpectedly from a
little party I behold you in animated con-
versation with my brother Heavens
madame, am / to be longer tho victim of
such duplicity? No sooner would /
sacrifice at once the domestic nest and
fling thy lifeless body---Oh, oh ! mis-
cry, violence, revenge FrOilty, thy
namo is hen p"
Mrs. Biddy gets fdgety on her nest.
"Oh, dear me, I'm SO tired.
lSllence for half an hour.l
Mrs. B. Gn gentle depreciation) "My
dear, do you think you would mind look
ing to the nest a minute, while l run and
pick mp something? ] haven't taken
mouthful to-day"
O. g., Esq, (starting up in Doubt
MADAM, havo l heord You Alright? Do
| understand that you have distinctly Of
fercd to shift upon your husband the
little duties of the domestic nest? Are
you going to step from your sphere,
Do yOn mean to be hens
rights hen, madam? Have L not
again aud again impressed upon your
mind that female seliishncss alone is Mt
.hc bottom of these impious doctrines ?
And what, on the contrary. according to
.he decision of all rooster kind should be
he real pride and ambition of henhood
true hon glorifies in
little crosses and trials for, without
emptations, she perceives that there can
ne no virtue without trials, no patience |
'i'io'o hihitiioli, nD TeslgnhtlOn, WHICH |
= so lovely in the female character. A
rue hen, situated MS you are, would not
'niy rejoice that providence had seen tit |
o perfect her with trials, but, with that
beautiful sclf-sbncgation which can never
'e too strenuously inculcated by rooster
ind, would set herself to planning new
acrliices. l say n true hen in your situ-
ton. instead of sneal.ing from her little
|utics, would contrive some plan Gif only |
y reaching out her head and picking the
arth around herr for supplying her hus-
'ands little wants"
Mrs. Riddy (meekly)-"Havo worm,
carp"
9. G., Esq, (solemnly)-T will"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-03-09

1ot-house IN which the operation il pcr-
formed. lie considers the remedy infpl-
iiaple, and says it rarely iniurCs the n.
derest plants.
Inc advantage Of grinding the cob and
corn together is not altogether in the nu-
lrineht OF the cob, but because the cob.
pelng n coarser and sponoy material.
gives bulk, and divides and separates the
me meal 30 as to allow a free circulation
OF the gastric juice through the mass in
the stomach.
Lambs can be made TO shear from tb,oe
to four pounds more wool by little ex-
ira care and feed during the winter. The
extra wool will more than pay for the ex-
ira feeding, and the result will be A much
larger and stronger sheep. For this pur-
pose iced good clover hay, with bran.
corn and oats mixed equally.
The use of coal ashes under the din.
pings in the hen-house is recommendnd
The hens scratch in the ashes for tLo
hard, white bits, and thus keep the dr,u.
pings loose and dry. The mixture spread
upon the meadow in the spriug, forms an
excellent manure. The ashes also serve
IN place OF shells, and for dusting place
for the hens.
In pruning trees all stems half an in, Ia
or more in diameter should be covered
with some waterproof substance like
grating wax or shellac, and the consist
ency of cream. The bark and outer wood
VIII thus be preserved, and the wourd
Will III a season or SO be covered with new
DARK. If this precaution be taken, the
end OF the branch will decay from expos.
nre to wind, rain, heat and cold.
A farmer who onca sncurou =, e,,,.,l,. g
Ice for summer use will never afterwarl
be without it. Ice is indispensable for
diaries, either for butter or cheese. and
Is valuable Ill any cellar for Ike, ping fresh
meat III warm weather. A good ice house
OF moderate size can he built $50 or $40.
and the interest on the cost, with tie
OF filling it, are tritles compared
with the convenience Of having ice dur
ing the summer
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-03-09
THE LOVED PHYSICIAN.
inscribed to the Memory of Samuel
u hItc Thay r, N. ID.
IFrOm the New YORK Obscrve

rum lHc sNtN 1OIk oDSCINtlsl
lie waq a man whom all the people loved,
For he was good, ami loved TO do them good
And away round about MIN goo mess moved
lie could not he ungentle, II he would
Each Jay, unfaillng as the sun In heaven,
Hts cssci round O' healing he performed;
Each day some portion Of Ills life was given,
nat others might be vivincd and warmed
lie had such pity as few mortals have;
For sulleting's aase alone he would be spent.
All tNut ne had-hnself-hc freely gavr
lie brought his love aud left II when he went.
The rich aud poor, the humble and the great,
WIN equal ;avor sought his tender skill;
lie never used 10 pass the po II mans gate,
Because the rich man. just beyond. was III.
Early and late he toed FOR poor mankind,
la summers heat and winter. bitter cold.
iIls heart was never chilled by frost or wind,
For love and Kindness wrapped II fod AMI fold
Ufl-times by night, when others were asleep,
Tue loved physician sought tue couch Of pain
And like rock that breaks the angry deep,
Beat back the awful wave of death again.
He was tower Of strength to oil the faint,
hope when other hope had almost ned;
HI gentle touch would s0Othe the wild complaint
And wake trembling sigh Of peace instead.
Whcrcer he went the sun shine Of his face
Brought gudness and a sense Of sweet relief.
Dta'il turned away with quick and sill INT pace,
Aud hope, returning took the place OF grief
Thus ever through his long and busy life,
The loved physician toilcd for others good,
TIL death. alas prevailing in The strife,
S-llled that warm heart, which nothing but jeati
could.
He passed unto his rest, one autumn morn
just as the sun had gaddened all the sky
Aud into heavens light and Joy was born
sopeaccfully that he scarce seemed 10 diet
His blessed memory shall shine as long
As true, unselHsh worth Ia praised OF men.
- IL tuf untt 90, a
lie lives, and vie shall see his face agaln
James Bi,ckha,u,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-03-09
NIUMNIY.FLOwERs.
Some OF the Faded Blossoms Found I'm
/ the TOmbs of the A Ancicnts

! bi'"" JbuIudl
In an interesting article which appear
ed IN recent number of tho Acadeny
Miss Amelia y. Edwards describes somt
curious additions to the Boolak Museum
of Cairo Several of the Royal mum
mics discovered last year at Dierel- -Ba
hari were, it will be remembered founC
gar'anded with flowers, those, flowers be
ing Tor the most part in wonderful pre-
servation. NJ Arthur Rhome, in re-
cent letter to lie Temps, has described
the extremely curious way i'll which these
garlands are woven. They consist of the
petals and sepals Of various flowers, de.
tached from their stems, and inclosed
each III a folded leaf of either the Egyp-
tim willow (Salix salsaf) or the Mimu.
sops Kummel Bruce. The floral orna.
ments thus devised were then arranged in
rows--the points being all set one way
and connected by means OF thread OF
date-leaf fibre woven in kind of chain.
stitch. The whole resembles n coarse
| ''edging of vegetable lace-work Among
the flowers thus preserved are the bright
blue blossoms of the Delphinium orient
ais or larkspur the blue lotus, or Nym.
phea lotus, with pink tipped sepals the
blossoms of the Sesbania Egyptiaca
and the orange-hued flower of the Garth
anus tinctorius, or safflower, so largely
employed as dye by the ancient inhabi-
tants of the Nile Valley. Tho dried fruit,
as well as the dried yellow blossom, OF
the Acacia Nilotica is likewise present ;
and mention is also made of the blossom
of species of water melon, now extinct.
The foregoing are all interviewer in the
garlands in which the mummy of Amen
hotep l. was elaborately swathed. With
others OF the royal mummies were found
fine detached specimens of both kinds of
lotus, the blue and the white, with stems,
blossoms and seed-poles complete. Still
more interesting is it to learn that upon
the mummy Of the priest Ncbsoohi ma
ternal grandfather of the King Pinotem
IL. (twenty- first dynasty, there was found
n specimen Of the lichen known to botan-
lists as the Pnrmelia furfuracca. This
plant is indigenous to the islands of the
Greek Archipelago, whence it must have
been brought to Egypt at or before the
period OF the Her-Hor Dynasty QlO0 or
700 B. O.. Under the Arabic name of
"Kheba," it is sold by the native drug
gists in Cairo to this day.
These frail relics of many vanqulshed
spring have been arranged for the Boolak
Museum with exquisite skill by that emi.
nent traveller and botanist, DR.. Schwein-
furth. Classified, mounted, and, so to
say, illustrated by modern examples of
the same flowers and plants, they fill
eleven cases collection absolutely uni
que, and likely ever to remain so. The
hues of these old-world flowers are said
to be as brilliant as those OF their modern
prototypes and but for the labels, which
show them to be 5000 years apart, no ordi-
nary observer could distinguish between
those which were buried with the Pha-
raohs and those which were gathered and
dried only few months ago.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-03-09

Heard in sanctum-"So, madame you
have a story which you want us to print
what Is the subject 2" "Oh, | am sure yol
will like 1t. 1t is about a literary man who
was In such bad health that he left TIE cit,
and bought farm and" "Hum, yes
what did he buylt with3' "Why, The mon
ey he had saved up,of course, and then he
Pardon me, madame, but your story won
do. The Munchausen racket is played out.
-Philadelphia Neus
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-03-09

Cool and palm shaded from the torrid heat,
rhe young brown tenor puts his singing bv,
. Anu sets tne twin pipe 10 his lips TO try
some alf OF bulrush-gooms where lovers meet;
y swart musician time and fame are neet,
Brlef all delight and youths feet faln TO ny
Pipe on In peace Tomorrow must we die ?
what matter, II our life to-day be sweetY
soon, soon The silver paper-reeds that sigh
Along the Sacred River will repeat
the echo of the dark -stoled bearers feet,
Who carry you, with wailing, where must lie
Your swathed and wiihered body, by and by,
In perfumed darkness with the grains OF wheat
e. W, Gosss
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-03-09

Milan professor, whohas been iuvestigat
Ing drunkenness, finds that men aud women
given TO lntoxication seldom commit suicide.
This is not strange. They are thiuking too
intently OF how 10 get another drink. Bee
ton Globe
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-03-09

Princess Louise will remain at Bermuda
until the middle OF March. She will return
North with the onions. .-BostOn Transcript.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-03-09
TIE ROOsTERPECK ED WIFE,
Domestic Drama In "Punch- Thirt,
Years Ago.


last. o. Chandelier, Esq. from the top Of the
barn fence, becomes ,gnizant Of the fact and
SHUTS WITH d gll Y iQMarl his little aplua,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-03-09

Farmers who do not recognize poultry
as farm stock, but look upon it a. an in-
significant side issue, are not wise in their
generation.
A loamy soil, with loose, gravelly
subsoil through which the surplus water
easily drains away, may be deeply plow-
ed with good effect, or at any rate without
the, injurious results which follow the
practice of deep ploughing on stiff clayey
soils.
As soon as lamb gets large enough, it
should be encouraged to eat food for it,
self. For this purpose low trough
should be placed where the lambs can get
to II, and eat without disturbance, They
will soon eat enough to assist very mater
tally in their growth.
By vaporizing two quarts of tobacco
juice over slow fire Baron Rothschild's g
gardener at Paris destroys all the trouble
some insects that may be contained in the
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-08-04


amen. 30 '''.''.''- .'.'' .-'.-. a+l' '''
'.'''...' '-. ''.o.''.... even ....... q. '.'
s.''-s ,"~"-" I'D '-.'.'"..' B. ID. "'.a. u
: ". '.'". s.... ...'.. '.. '....' w -...'-... ~
-''.... ".. l"5'- Cd" d. -...'.. ,..l ..... d..
Pony '' 'ae niue ""~ -y"."s- ..s'a-.. d.
'I1 country i"'s .",. ~A=a ,a"1e.-.s '.
~. -"' OAK @..I Ae'".'-" regions " -.e"
oI4' ne" I-'a-""" ana N--~Da, "ao
oo'7'e" 'n'' "A''1 10 o'Asi concern a'a-r
maze -ca'Aer III CTS " ioUA" ana I'VE
they could thrive on CTS. a pound. They
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-08-04
whole 10 be published In tina, widely known

whole TO be published in that widely known
and popular periodical The Chicago Indus
trial World, for 1900 extra copies of which
the city council appropriated $50 in ad-
dinon to the levy upon the innocent busi-
ness men. The BeacOn thus chronicles the
outcome of the enterprise; 1.-THE city has
severa! times made foolish investments IN
printed matter from outside sources, bu,
never before has an article Of any preten-
sions appeared from which we were no,
able TO procure some extracts of value. We
can find none in this. The birdseye view
is IN abortlve attempt at wood engraving
and was undoubtedly the work of a young
apprentice IN some third rate engraving
shop, while the composition Of the reading
matter would not be over credltabe to
some of brother Burton's more juvenile re.
porters."
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-08-04
refused point blank to accept such terms.

refused point blank to accept such terms.
1t only remains IN this connection to =
rect attention TO the fact that whatever
may be the jangles and dlssensions IN the
Republican party between hards and softs,
hard heads and feather heads, &c, all the
leading party organs are as unit in favor
of the Western Union monopoly and
against the striking operators. I'm this
CITY," say, the N. Y. Herald, they all
speak with one voice in favor of corpora.
tons and against workingmen. The most
Jealous of the republican monopolist or
gans prints daily extracts from ether re-
publican journals approving OF the conduct
Of the Western Union monopoly and blam-
ing the workmcn, and we judge that the
republican press, East and West, Is "Lar-
monious" against the strikers and in favor
OF corporation monopolIsts. That Is all
right. Harmony is the main thing-har.
mony and a sufficient supply Of new two
dollar bills to fall upon the yoers like
a shower from heaven"