The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-09-15
ODDS AND ENDS.

Eugene L. Didier accuses Tenuyson of
plagiarism" Tennyson? We have heard of
Didier; but who in the Dickens is Tennyson.
-NorristoWn Herald.
The girl walked slowly down the aisle,
Her looks made ali the people smalsle,
For on her nose she had Il baisle-
This lovely maiden without eaisle.
ON City Derrick,
country boy drank a pint of whisky,
went in swimming, ate lot OF green apples,
drank some ice water, went to bed, and was
found dead in the morning. Too much ice
water.-Texas Siftings.
The lightning struck a man out in Ohio
and when the news was broken to his wife,
she asked in a sad but surprised tone of
voice, SIS he dead?" Yes" was the reply
Poor John; then the lightning must have
struck him more than once"
Friend to artist: 81 see the art committee
rejected that picture of yours" ARTIST:
Yes, and it's all because one of the members
was prejudiced against me. But I'll get even,
you bet" Friend: "I'll tell you how to get
your revenge!' Artist: How Friend:
Paint his portrait"
A London tourist met young Scotch
woman going to the kirk, and, as was not I'M
usual, she was carrying her boots in her hand
and trudging along barefoot. MY girl,
said he, 'is ii customary for all the people in
these parts to go barefoot?' Partly they
do said the girl, land partly they mind
their own business"
How is it you can tell such a whopper?'
asked caller, addressing the editor of the
fish-story department well, you see" re.
pied the editor, our wife's name is Anna"
''What has that to do with it?'' GA great
deal. When we are writing fish stories we
usually have Anna nigh us to help u.s." The
caller was carried to the hospital.-Ex.
An estimable citizen OF Raleigh n c., is
the father of so many children that there
would have been difficulty in providing them
all with names if he had not, with uncom-
mon sagacity foreseen the necessity of the
future, and devised an original plan for avoid
| ing that embarrassment One of his sons is
Iowa Wisconsin Register, another is Vermont
Connecticut Royster, another is Oregon Min
nesota Register, and still another is Arkansas
Delaware. Virginia Carolina is the name of
one daughter, and Georgia Alabama is an
other.
When the repartee proceeds from some I'M
expected source to the discontinue of the
sharp-tongued person who has invited it the
result is even better than when two wits are
equally matched. The quick response extin-
guishes the brilliancy of the flash that pro-
voked it. How is it, Mr. Sculy," said Lord
Monck to gentleman of that name, chow is
it that some of your friends rob you of the
| final syllable of you name and call you
'Sculr"
II suppose" was the answer "they take
the " from the end OF my name to add it to
yours, Lord Monok"
The nobleman was deservedly punished
for the bad taste of his allusion.
An editor in Chicago recently ordered a
pair of trousers from the tailor. On trying
them on, they proved to be several inches
too long. 1t being late on Saturday night,
the taiIor's shop was closed, and the editor
took the trousers to his wife, and asked her
to cut them off and hem them over. The
good old lady, whose dinner had perhaps dis
agreed with her, brusquely refused. The
same result followed on application to the
wife's sister and the eldest daughter. But
| before bedtime the wife relentingy took the
pants, and cutting off three inches from the
| legs, hemmed them up nicely and restored
them to the closet. Half an hour later, the
| daughter. taken with compunction for her
unfilial conduct, took the pants and cut of
three inches, hemmed and replaced them.
Finally the sster-in-law felt the pangs of
conscience, and she, too, performed an addi'
| tioDal surgical operation on the garment.
When the editor appeared at breakfast on
Sunday the family thought Highland
chief had arrived