davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
A LITTLE HEATBEN'S RIDE.
Down n Deep Well at Double Quick and
More Slowly Out Of u.
Deer Lo9ge Independent.

more oiobiy Out u hs
Deer Loege independent.
Mr.. Ed. ii. Irvine, at his residence in
West Deer Lodge, has forty-foot well
and China boy, the latter employed
about the kitchen. The well supplies
water for domestic purposes and was
rieged with a wheel and two buckets.
The bottom having been knocked out Of
one of these by carelessness, the Celestial
has latterly been hosting water with one
and with the proverbial disposition Of
his tribe to smash up everything breaka-
bic he. last Saturday morning, let the last
bucket down with ayelocity that knock
ed the bottom out Of that. He called a
small boy in the vicinity; tied one end
of the rope around his body under the
arms; passedit over the wheel, and tell
ing the small boy in cabalistic language,
if there is such thing, TO let him down
like an investigated Star router-that is
easily-he stepped off on the Short Line
road to China. About the time his head
disappeared below the surface the small
boy found he hadn't grown enough to
stand off the avoirdupois Of the China
man, and as between being pulled after
him and letting go, he concluded TO let
go. Kerchuck went the body of the
China boy into the water forty feet be.
low, and Hello! Hello! Helpl Help"
went the voice Of the small boy into the
outer realms of space.
Mr. Irvine ran quickly to the scene to
find two or three Of the family Juggling
hopelessly on the rope and hear their
united lament over the idea of dead
Chinaman in the well and the utter help
lessness Of Goods last best gift to man"
when it came to getting him out. With
the assistance Of a neighbor Ed. rigged
the rope and hauled away. No sound
came from the depths save the sepulchral
drip Of the water as the body was hoist
ed, and anxious faces peered into the
gloom as it approached the surface. Fl
nally, with long, steady pull, it appear.
ed, head up and face foremost, and with
hand extended up, holding out the frag-
ments Of the bucket bottom. Its CLASSY
eyes fastened themselves on Ed, the sha-
ven head shook negatively, the arms pro-
jected forward, the mouth opened, and
before the body half emerged from the
well hole, the resurrected Chinaman
eyed the fragments of the bucket bottom
and merely said "NO good"
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
A Mig Grapevine.
Augusta vedet,e.

The largest thing we have seen in the
the way of a grapevine is a piece Of vine
about six feet long, which was cut by
some hands who are clearing land for T.
f. Stanley, on his place near town. The
largest part measured tbirty-nine inches
in circumference. The hands also found
q curiosity in timber growth. II is a
tree from which limb comes and grows
up some two and a half feet, when another
limb comes out and joins the lower limb
about . foot from the body Of the tree,
which Ii almost a. large a. both Of them
below the place of joining.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
Fulfilling the Covenant.

IN outgoing tenant illustrates the alb
surlity of some of the covenants in
leases drawn in the ancient form by ad-
vcr;isinc in an English paper for about
500 rats and about ten times that num-
bcr of weeds, in order TO fulfill his COW
enant and leave the premises in precise
ly the same condition as that in which
he found them. The rats, he adds, must
be able.bodicd, and no crirples will be
received.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
A Woman Converted.
Athens Banner.

. There is living in this county an old
lady who has read the Bible through at
least fifty times. She once read it
through in fifty hours, reading two hours
each day for twenty-five days. As an
unbelevcr she began to read it through
curiosity, but had not finished reading it
for the third time before she. became a
trm convert 10 its truths and doctrines.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
Wounded by Her Ring.

A somewhat singular accident occur
red this morning. As a middlc-agcd
widow from the country was alighting
from sleigh ON Notrc Dame street, her
foot slipped on the ice, and falling her
gold wedding ring cut into her finger to
the bone. The ring was old and had
worn rather sharp on the edge. The
subject of this unuIual mishap went to
the Notre Dame Hospital, where the
ring was filed off and the wound dressed.
She said she felt more pain Of heart than
pain of finger, believing II TO be an omen
that she would not succeed in getting
another husband, on which she was nat
urally more or less intent.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
sixty Years Old.
\ ,lanta Con uluti N.

When Watkinsviile was the county
site of Clarke County, years ago, bottle
Of brandy was laid away in an inside
wall Of the Court House. Sixty years
have made il necessary to tear down the
old building, but il finds the brandy I'll
the better on account of its age. The
county officials of Oconee now have
causc TO smack their lips.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
A Planters View.
GeorKia Major.

One Of the most influential Of Georgia
grangers was experimenting affairs at
his cotton press the other day when he
was aocosted by a neighbor; Il see, Col
onel, that the tariff bill has passed" us
that so? How about cstton ties p
"Stin 35 per cent. al valorem." "Well,
here, you boys, thar! sift another shovel
O. sand in the middle of that bale. /
can't afford to reform until the tariff
doesw
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
Rulnl Notes.

Abolish the cruel chcck-rein.
1t pays TO curry horned cattle.
Destroy no inscct-killing bird.
Now fix up and oil the harness.
Have you fxed a pond for carp?
Certainly, repair the stone walls.
Give animals daily accessto water
Toads kill insects don't kill toads.
Grow plenty Of berries this season.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12

refused him. She then threw the ashes
ofthe lamb into the river and another
suitor asked her for her hand. The lit
tie lamb bleated again, but the lady
married this time. The first night after
her marriage her husband killed ber
and took her money and ram away. The
disobedience to the voice Of the lamb
caused her death. | told this story to
Cunningham and told him the bleating
of the sheep that night WIS warning to
NC y
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
SOME QUAINT EPITAPHS.

This by bereaved husband, indicates
a cheerful faith in condition of mutual
content:
Here II $ my wife sallie, 'ct her lie,
She's q, Ieace, aud so am |.
The following records-rather lima
turedly, it must be admitted-an event
by which an unapprec:ative bcnedick
escaped being talked to death:
Beneath this stone a lump OF clay
Lies Arabella Young,
Who on the 18th OF May
Began to hold her tongue.
A stone in Yazoo City, Miss, has this
inscription:
Here lies inferred Priscilla Bird,
Who sang on earth I'LL ~;
Now up on high above the sky
No doubt she sings like GO TOO.
This one appears in the Sutton church
yard:
Here lies the body Of Samuel Proctor.
Who lived and died Without doctor.
At Oxford, N. H., is the following fatal
accident recorded:
To all my friends bid adieu.
more sudden 0fttn yfu never hhfN.
AsIwas leading the old mare To drink
She kicked and Killed me quickern WINK.
An inscription in Peters churchyard,
Herefordsbire, England, reads:
Sickness Was my portion.
Physic WAS my food;
Groans WAS my devotion;
Drugs did me no good.
The Lord TOOK rity OH me,
Because he thought II Test;
He took me TO his bosom,
And here lie at rest.
Even Westminster Abbey, the burying
ground of monarchs is not without its
epitaphs. Over the poet Gay appears:
Life is q Jest. aud all thing show IT,
thought so once, and now know It,
In a New Hampshire cemetery is a
stone with this inscription:
Richard Jenkins here doth lay.
{. atciy removed from over ye way;
HIS bodys here-his souis IN heaven.
1867
Mrs. jenkins, who had numerous
family, was thus remembered:
some have chi,d.cn, some have none,
Here lieth the mother OF twenty -one.
The briefest cpitaph is on the tomb
stone of child killed at Bayfield,, WIS,
during thunder storm. On the stone
are the words:
Struck
| By
Thunderl
An old topper in Durham has this IN
scription on his tombstone:
Beneath these stones reposc the boxes
OfTheodosius Grim;
He took his beer from year TO year.
And then his bier took him.
This is over the grave of victim OF
| Waterloo:
Here lies the body OF Alex. McPherson,
Who was al ex raordinAry person
Who was two yards high In his stacking feet,
And kept his counterments clean and neat.
He was slew
| At the battle Of Waterloo,
Plumb through
The gullet IL went In at his throat
And came ont at the back OF his coat.
In Limerick cathedral Ireland, may be
seen the following inscription on hand
some tablet:
Mementi MOri. Here lieih Little Samuel Bar
rington, that great Under Tsker of Famous GIFTS
clock ana Chime Maker; he made his own Time
go early and Late, but now he is returned TO God
his Creator The 18th Of November. Then he sccst,
And for His Memory this is Pleast, By His Son
Rem l6yI
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
LONG TALKS BY WIRE.
An Expert Who Says Telephones VIII Not
BE Generally Used for business.


Philadelphia Times.
Henry Benson, Of this city, who is con-
nected with tclegraphic and telephone
ventures, discountenances the idea of tel
cphones between distant cities. He
thinks that they are in nowise practical
BILE and that companies based on them
will never have much busines. '1n the
first place." he said yesterday, "the expe-
riments now being made along hundreds
of miles of wire are by no means novel.
They were successful years ago and are
now being repeated for effect and to ad-
vertise the companies. The system is ut
terry inadequate ocommercial purposes
All transactions in the world of commerce
and finance have to be recorded. The
telegraph provides for this,the telephone
does not. A merchant will not sell goods
on the strength of mere sound. He
would be foolish were he 10 do so in the
absence of all record of the sale and con-
sequently Of responsibility. The tele-
phone represents honor, but that is all ;
il is not a record fit for commercial pur-
poses. The use of the telephone or ofthe
telegraph for other than business pur-
poses would not as much as defray wire
maintenance and service. We have a
wire stretched as far as Trenton, but no
farther Whyf Because people living on
the other side of Trenten have no use for
Philadelphia and don't care to telephone
us. Telephone wires can never run close
to telegraph wires, as the inductions Of
the latter are apt 60 cause confusion in
the sounds transmitted. This might be
temporarily avoided, but to prevent the
two sets of wires entering a town from
coming into contact or crossing, which
will interfere with the working of both.
is expensive and in many cases next to
impossible"
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
Royal Match-Aaahing.
Charleston News and Courier.

ChAric1ton NeWh And Courier.
Queen Victoria, who Is good match
maker and mother, Is said to be interest
ing herself just now in the future do
mcstic establishment Of her grandson,
Wales eldest boy, who is now 10. The
pirl selected TO be the future Queen of
England is Princess Clementine, of SAKE
Cobourg, daughter Of the King of the
Belgians, and niece of the unfortunate
Charlotte, widow of Macmillan Of Mexi-
GO. But the wedding, II fixed upon, can
not come off for two or three years at
least, Clementinc being but Is years old.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
A Ounce Pie.

A 'longshoreman entered coffee and
cake saloon in Barclay street on Friday,
and after eating a plate of fish cakes
called for "a cup of coffee an pace Of
poi"
"Vot kind uf py ?" asked the German
attendant.
"Quinz poi"
"Mintz ?"
"No; quinz, ye thick-headed Dutch
man. Do l look like man that 'ud ate
mate on FridayT
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
Grammar Of the Telephone.
New York Commercial.

The word that, asserts grammarian,
is the only one that can be used five
times successively within absolute cor
rectness of grammatical construction.
This discovery must have been made
before the telephone was invented and
the word "hello' used in connection
Herewith.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
Irish PAtrtots.


A teacher Of English history in one Of
our public schools, in order TO assist her
pupils in remembering the order Of the
succession OF the sovcreigns Of England,
has been In the habit of having them
repeat in concert the well-known rhyme
beginning
Yiut willim the Norman. then william HIS son.
and ending with the lines
TN Anne. Georges -Four. and Fourth william all
aod ssns .hcs Victoria, rsay she long bc the last.
The teacher noticed this year want of
harmony in the concert recitation, some
scholars appearing TO finish the verse
before others. BY listening closely she
was amused 10 find that some youthful
sympathixers with the Land League had
patriotically dropped the adverb from
the last line, and were repeating with
great JUNCTION,
Got scat them Victoria, MAY ste ts the last.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
Novel Moving.

A large elm tree at Norwich Town has
moved house. The tree is more than
20 years old, and the trunk reaches a
height of 80 feet before a limb branches
out. During the March winds the limbs
spreading over the house swept off part
of the chimney, and it was removed.
The tree, which stands at the north
east corner ofthe house, has grown 80
large that it raised and moved the house
one foot from its original position.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
rhs Travel. OF . Dog.
ouwero IN. y)pus.

WWcEo IN y f0f.
Seven months ago John Stoddarj
bought q spaniel dog, three years old, Of
an East Side citizen, and Immediately
after sold him to man in Syracuse and
sent him to that city by express. Last
week the first owner Of the dog was in
Syracuse and saw the dog Tor the first
tilae in seven months. The dog instantly
recognized him and followed him to the
station ~ he was going away, but was
shut hack as the man passed through the
station into the cars. On Saturday, how
ever, to the mans astonishment, the dog
reappeared 1t his old home. After meet
ing his old master he must have become
homesick, and, by means Of the unac-
countable instinct which animals some
times show a. 10 direction and distance,
came all the IS miles from Syracuse 10
Oswego. He had never traversed the
route before except on an express car.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
A Man On. Of Breath.
Atlanta Constitution.

AIIhfltt IOHslIllllDu.
A strange story was told day or two
since by countryman living in the
vicinity of Anericus. He said that a
ball of fire suddenly sprang up before
him on the public road while he was on
his way home, keeping steadily before
him until opposite graveyard, when it
turned in mid-air over that burial place.
He said he was so badly frightened that
he was out of breath from running when
he got home.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12

Buylng fertilizers to put on land which
wouis be equally productive under
thorough tillage, is like borrowing mon.
ey at high rate ofinterest and allowing
bank deposit 10 remain idle.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
Can't Please 'Em.
ArkansaH Traveller.

Arkansaw Traveller.
Are these fish fresh 2" asked gentle
man of a negro dealer.
"Yas, sir, jes cotch."
"What makes them smell 80 bad?
"Da doan smell bad, boss. Desc is de
perfume fish, an 'sidee dat. yer system is
outen order. De longer desc fish stays
outcn dc water de less da smells, an sab,
when da Is filst cotch yer halter hole yer
nose"
well, as they don't smell very bad,
don't believe that ! want any,"
'Dai's der way II goes. White folks
'epecks yer ter lie, an when yer does it
yer can't please EN-"
Mrs. Ella X. Trader, who spent $780,
600 Of her own money in aiding wounded
soldiers during the war now lives in pov.
erty 1t Ashcvilie. NJ C.
r fra Mark Hopkins, of San Francisco,
We her niece, who married her adopt
[A
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12

FArrENINo HoRsEs-This is well un-
derstood by jockeys, and may be studied
by farmers who have horses to sell. A
horse well fed and kept steadily TO work,
will gain slowly and his flesh will be sol
id and enduring. This is best for the
buyer, and has the advantage for the sell
or that the horse earns his keeping while
being put into condition. The Jockey
method is 10 feed oil meal, exercise lit
tic or not at ali, and make a glossy coat
which will soon become rough and star
ing when the horse is put at hard work.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
GRAVE AND GAY.

Death Caused by Cigarette-Smoking.
Savannah News.
Young Echols, who died at Rome,
Sunday night, after an illness of forty
eight hours, was an inveterate smoker
of cigarettes. His attending physician
says that congestion of the lungs was the
result of that habit.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12

"A little farm well TILED" will bring
lor naks) = littls wifs we'll wited."
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12

fra Mark Hopkins, Of San Francisco,
We her niece, who married her adopt
100000 a. o trifiing wedding
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12
RURALISMS.
Things of Interest to the Farmer, the Gar
dcncr and the Horscman.

THE Cooley CngAMKR.-A western pa
per announces that the controversy over
the validity Of the Cooley patent, owned
by John Boyd, of Chicago, for process
and apparatus for raising cream from
milk, so long pending in the courts in the
suit Of Boyd against Cherry, has been de-
cidcd in favor Of Boyd. The Cooley pat
ent has been declared valid, and the
Cherry can an Infringement. The Uni
ted States Court, by Judge McCrary, has
ordered am injunction to Issue against
Cherry, and an account for damages in
favor OF Boyd.
The Osceola times., 1883-05-12

ADoUT GARpES SEEDs.-AD Ohio far
mcr says one cause Of complaint made
by purchasers Of garden seeds is due to
their own ignorance in planting and car
ing for the seeds. Lima beans are plant
cd with early peas, the peas come up but
the beans are chilled, and don't, but the
scedsmen gets the blame charged TO him
Just the same. Sometimes the soil Is not
in proper condition; sometimes II crus.s
after a rain, and the tender shoots can
not force their way through it; some
times the soil is not firmed and the germ
dies for want of moisture.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-08-19
MARTINS FERRY MELANGE.

Cherries Vsppelt has accepted q position
as clerk in COx's new shoe store.
Yesterday was psy day at the Martins
Mrs. Isaac Colts and children returned
from a few days visit at Lloidsyille.
Miss Sallie Llyte, of Wheeling, is the
gut st of Miss Mary McHenry. in Newlin'S
sdditlon. go
John White returned from Birnesville
yesterday, where be has been attending
teachers examination.
There will be services in all the churches
ss usual to day. Rev. John Gray will &C
cupy the pulpit in the United Presbyterian
his morning.
A. Rslston left for Cameron, W. Va, on
business for l. Spence, yeslerd ~.
James Undertake, OF Ashland, Ny,
stopped over on his way home from tn.
Nsilors' convention, at New York, to spend
a few days with his brothers, Charles and
A. d. Timberlske.
Mrs. Z. c. Simpson returned from Flush
ing. o., yesterday. -,
The Salvation army we're over in foil
force yesterday. They always succeed in
gathering q large audience, but have moi
made any converts as yet.
There has been a fever OF excitement
among the knowing ones for the last -
hours. The losfers on the corners QUIZ III
esruestness, and the business man spskes
the air with his unwilling guess. It has
all been on account Of the PaHl gas we'll
striking oil in a small way, and the mys
terious appearance Of q Mr.. Billnin. OF
Bradford, Pa, and several associates who
felopg in the Pennsylvania oil region
They pronounce this oil as of a superior
quality, equal to the production OF Penn
syIvania and unhesitatingly say that this
snail STRIFE is the edge if or in the vicinity
Of a vast volume or basin OF the precious
fluid.
should a ledge of this kind be struck at
the Laughlrn Mill il will be worth a small
fortune. Yet We would hate to see Mar,
tins Ferry blptted with OIL mains and
spelled with refineri,s aud an oil exchange
ON Washington street
Mr.. r Philips, Of Youngstown. Ohio. is
the guest Of his son, Benjamin, in the Low
er End.
A small fire, about which there was
much excitement, occurred at the Buckeye
WGrks,y esterday. The damage done amoun t-
d TO nothing. The roof was slightly dam
grd and a few buckets Of water quenched
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-08-19

In the Fall OF 1875 my sufferiDgsw were ter
rible. / wis wOllen 10 such proportions that
| feared my limbs would burnt. h a the
best medical talent ~obtaInabl-, and at the
worst stage Of my illness, when my husband
and many friends had gwen me up 10 ole
the late DR.. John Woodbury. made a thor.
Ough examiI alton ~ my water, and pro.
uounceL my case acute kidney Il ease, Dor
dering on bright's disease, and accompanied
by gravel, and recommended the immediate
use Of Bunt's Eemcdy. AT this time I wa
>uffcring most tenibIe pain in my back,
limbs, and head, and could Inc no rest day
or night for weeks, and / was growing
weaker daily until this kin physi ian or.
dered me 10 take Hunts Remedy. Before
taking half Of one bottle I commenced 70
improve. and after taking six bolt e. " Is en-
iireIy cured. Ihis was nearly eight yesrs
Ggo, and 1 have had no return Of the disease.
1 have recommended II. ntis Kennedy To 9TH
er In similar cpeS, and IL has never fail d TO
cure. 1 have also used 1t Tor lick h adach :,
Bnd 70 nd In 1t a sure relief. Ii ,hi.k II he
let meoivine made, and cheerful n ON
mend IL TO all. MRS. ". II. SrILSON,
No. Is Ty leI st., Boston, MaaA
Anil IL. leSS.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-08-19
BEACH BOTTOM T

BEACH BOTTOM. August ls.-Mr. Samuel
McCord, an e%nlerprIsing farmer of Brooke
county, has treated himself I o q iue new
buggy.
The Salvation army has become quite O
nuisance in Wellsburg.
Prot. B C. H~sgerman, A. NJ, was in
Wellsburg on last Friday. Toe Prof. has
q host Of friends in Brooke.
Mis- Ella Wilson, the accomplished
daughter Of Abram Wilson, who has b-en
visiting friends out West for the past niue
months, will soon return home
n"ticsd on Friday the smiling face of
my friend Cox, of Buffalo township.
From the number of times tnat q certain
young lady walks to Wellsburg and back
during the week. / have come to the con
clusion that she is preparing herself for
some walking contest
Miss Flora Davis, who has been visiting
friends in The city Of Brotherly Love, will
soon return home.
Prof. Shepherd has the finest house and
yard in the county.
Miss Mary Whortcn. Who has been visit
ing friends in Wheeling, has returned
home.
Oliver Lewis, although almost four soore
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-08-19
ssSwooD BRIEFS.

George Martha, Esq, returned home ON
Thursday last from Oakland, Md, where
be had been for q few weeks wishing reia-
tives and friends.
MIS- Sue McClsnahan returned hsme
from n visit In the country, looking a.
bright and fresh as . rosebud. We know .
friend whose heart will give an extra
thump when be sees this.
Edward Anderson and lady returned to
Mingo on Monday last
hearts, first having granted the Union coal
works the privilege to lsy o railrosd trace
along Forty-eighIh street At their last
session they took . somersault and at this
writing look very much as though the
privilege will not be granted.
LII Bright, ESQ, OF Point Pleasant, W.
Va and son Of the Ex. U. s. Senator,
Jesse Bright Of Indiana, was IN town yes
terday on business.
From present indications, We are inclined
TO the opinion that Hon g.; 8. McFdddeu
will coptIol the vote of this district IN the
next Republican convention for Sheriff.
MIR. Foley, the enterprising owner oil
the ferry here, has sold the Hiram b. and
purchassd the Frank Owens, q large and
con modious boat. Consequently, no boat
Will run after Tuesday until the Owens ar
riyps Friday morning.
Pat Gstely has challenged Oney Williams
to Iun bin . foot race one hundred yards
fer from two to five hundred dollars aside.
The people Of Beiisire ought TO build
themselves q courthouse. They seem to
wait one so bad
The gentleman Who purchased the Hiram
B will take her away on Tuesday next
The Frank Owens will not arrive before
Friday or Saturday.
There was an elopement q night last
week, but il only consisted OF one party
who skipped over the B. 90 r. r to Bd
timore, contrary to her mothers wishes o
knowledge.