Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-04-08
nIlLY pagF- IgTyLLIGEEOyH.

nLILY pnSF- INfyLLIGgEO2E.
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MINORS OF EXAMINATIONS.
Al a rule. examinations are not re-
csrded by the outside world az occasions
On which q display of humor may be ex-
pected. Bot il exceptions prove the rule,
then NAV examinations claim 70 AFFORD
very rich fund of ludicrous iaci.tents.
There are naturally varied circumstance
in examinations which call forth the VIZ
OF the candidate. The humor varies, In
fat, with the particular person WHO =
being examined, and what - the topic OF
conversation between examiner and can
did te. One Of the frequent causes OF
hnmor at examinations Ii, OF course, tns
Ignorance Of candidates
A person vas once asked TO answer tne
ouecfiou. +" Who vas Esau!
His reply was highly characteristics.
"Esau." said be, twas man who Trose
fables. and who sold the copyright TO a
publisher for bottle Of potash:
Tho confusion of Eau and ESaop. OF
copyright and birthriRht. OF post .ge .iiih
potssh. il an example OF human OF % no
means An unusual class-
Another student was asked to give
some account Of Wolsey. His reply VAS
unique.
Fouoht in the Crineau war, and who, az
tar bsiuo decapitatsd several times, said
10 Cromwell: 'Ah, il / had only served
Won as you havs served me, ] would not
have been deserted in my old age.
In an examination designed t. test the
GENERAL knowledge Of young lads about
10 ontsr the ranks OF professional stu
dent life. a series Of questions was put
ne tssts of the reading Of the candidates.
The following we're some OF the replies
obtained from the aspiring youths:
What was tho Sta: Chamber!
IAN astronomers ROOM" was tho an
sver.
"What was meant by tho Year OF Ju-
bilee?"
leap year." replied the youth.
"What arc tho Letters Of JuniGs! ,
"IIetters written In tho month oi une,
was the reply.
"The time that has elapsed since the
person Of that name was born, replica
tbs candidate.
Il il related Of = rough and-ready ex-
swiner in medicine that on one occasion,
having failed 10 elicit satisfactory replies
from, student regarding the muscular
arrangements of the arm and leg. some
what brusquely he said:
"Ah! psrhaps, sir, you couid tei mo
the Names of the muscles l would put In
action were l 10 kick yOnT'
Certainly, sir" replied the candidate.
Y0u would put in motion the nexors
and extensors Of my arms, Tor shouio
use them ~ knock You down"
The story il told Of witty irish stu,
dent who, once upon time, appeared
before an examining board 10 undergo
An examination III medical ]urispra'
dencs. The subiecs of examination was
poisons, and the examiner had selected
shat deadly poison. .prussic acid, AZ the
subject of his questions.
"Pray. sir" said he ~ the candidate.
what 10 a poisonous dose OK prussi'
aoid?"
After cogitating for moment tho u
dent replied.
HALF an ounce, sir"
H0rrifiod at the cxtrome ignorance OF
tho candidate. the examiner exclaimed:
Half nm ounce! Why, sir, you must
DO dreaming! That IL nm amount which
would poison community, air, not To
speak Of An individual"
swell, SIR" replied the Hibcrnian, II
only thought I'd TO on the SAT. side when
y0u asked q poisonous dose"
But pray, sir" continued the exam
tneY. intent ON xscertaining the oandi-
dsts's real knowledge, "supposo man
did swallow half an ounce OF prusslc
acid. what treatment would You pre-
scriber
I'D ride home for stomach-pump,'
replied the ansbsshed student.
Are you aware, sir" retortsd tho ex-
aminer, "that prussia acid is = poison
which acts with great rapidityl"
well. yes" replied the student.
Then, sir, suppose you did such 2
foolish thing as You have just stated. y
said the examiner; lyon ride homo for
yOor stomach-pump, and on returning
you find your patient dead. What would
you or what conld you do thenS" asked
the examiner in triumph, thanking he had
driven his victim into corner whence
there was no escape.
student. Do? Why, I'd hould post
m0rtetn!'
For once In his life that examiner must
have felt that dense ignorance united tn
. power Ut repartee was moro than a
match for him.
Incidents Of highly ludicroas natgre
frequently OCCUR In the examination of
patients both by doctors and students.
4 professor ON one occasion was lec,ur-
Ing % his class ON the means OF diagnoa-
fsnsv Ataaaoa txrsA -
Yaoe, and other details Of the patient.
1xpressing his belief that patient he
fore th0 class afforded an example Of the
prAceics In question, the professor said
to the Individual:
"Ah! you are troubled with govt"
No, SIR" said the man; "I'ys neve.
had any such complaint"
But" said the profe ssor. q your father
must have had govt"
No. SIR. Was the reply; "nor my mo
thsr either"
"Ah. very strange" said the professor
10 his class. "l'm still convinced that
ehia man In a equity subject. sec that
his front teeth show all the characters
which W. arc accustomed to note In
govt"
"rront tsethr' ejaculstci tbs patient.
AVk'tcA SuV lSVirNNOEs I
convinced my diagnosis is correct. You
have gout, sirr'
well, that beats everything" said
Tho man; "it's tho fra. time. sir, Eve
ever hoard Of false teeth having the
govt I've had this set for the las. ten
years.
The ed,ot of this sally on the p,rs of
ths patient, upon the inqnisitorial pro-
fsssor and his ssadon.s, may DO better
imagined than described.
Occssionally within the precincts of
colleges and universities rich vein of
hunos 10 struck IN very unexpected
fashion. On one occasion q professor.
noticing that certain members Of his
elass were nsttentive during the lecture.
suddonly AFRO ted his how If oratory,
and. addressing one Ut the students.
said:
Pray, Mr.. johnson, what Is your
opinion of the position OF the animals
Just described in the created scal.y''
M. Johsson was forcel to saw thai
really he had no views wha,evs. ON tho
subject"
Whereupon the professor, turnia- Ia
. second inattentiys student, who had
evidently not caught Mr.. Johnson's re-
ply OF its purpprt. said:
Mr.. Smith, what is yonr opinion az
she position Of these animals In tie elias
si0ei scries."