The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-07-24
THE BREvITY BASKET,
FILLED with Mention OF Minor Events and
Funny Items.

Funny Items.
II is said that there will be as many posi-
tive colors worn in the fall as intermediate or
mixed shades.
Translated from the Omnibus: "Well,
Mrs. Meir, how goes it in the married life "
"At first went it not to the best, but since
from my husband separated am, come we
right well with one another you"
Mr.. Higgins -"My son Samuel studied art
in Paris for six years." Mr.. Raphael d. UNI ,
ber--"And did he succeed ?" Mr.. Higgins
Succeed Well | guess he did succeed. !
Why, sir, he now has the largest bone fertili- |
ger factory in the State of Ohio. l call that !
success"
A little boy and girl out in the west end of
town were discussing the stars. The little |
people on them. The little girl, with all the |
disdain she could muster, said: "They are
not; they are angels eyes, cause saw them
wink !"--[Des Moines Leader.
A New York boy drank pint Of whisky,
went swimming, ate lot OF green apples,
drank large quantity OF ice water, and then
went to bed Next morning he was found
dead. About the worst thing boy can do
in hot weather is to fill himself UP with ice
water Norristown Herald.
While we are running this paper we don't
want any one-horse editor to get on his ear
because we appropriate any OF his editorials.
We assure him that it is intended as the high
est compliment we could pay him, adopting
his style and language verbatim ad literatum,
or something of that kind Henrietta Shield.
I'm railroading now" said young man
as he shook hands with friend in the Globe
hotel this morning. IL occupy the position
of second conductor" "What is the differ
ence between first and second CONDUCTOR"
was the query. "Why, you see, the first con-
ductor starts the train and the second one
stops it."-[Syracuse Herald.
Frequent scenes at the postoffice stamp
window: Clerk" Another cent, please"
Customer" Well, guess not. The 2-cent
law commenced on the Ist of July" Clerk
"You are mistaken. 1t doesn't 60 into effect
until October. Another cent, please. Hurry
up" Customer Indignantly" We'll. take
it, but | think it's an outrage. "--[ Adrian
Times.
Editor Of city daily to assistant: John,
have you finished our Paris letter to-day ?"
Not yet. | had to write a Washington letter
and letter from Delaware about the peach
crop, this afternoon, and I'm just now finish
ing our own special London cable message,
Don't try to crowd me If you want me TO do
Justice to this work. Middletown Trans
cript
She was asked what she thought of one Of
her neighbors of the name of Jones, and with
knowing air replied: "Why, don't like
to say anything about my neighbors, but as to
Mr.. Jones, sometimes think, and then again
don't know, but after all l rather guess he'll
turn out to be good deal such sort OF a
man as take him to be- San Francisco
News Letter.
De mos corrupt men is sometimes de high
est. DE buzzard sails heap higher den de
partridge. De stricter de law, de better de
country. Oar amt no law dat is too hard on
a good man. Folks what say dat de worr is
gittin wus is gittin wus darselves. Oar neber
was a time when dar was so much happiness
! in de worP as dar is at de present day Ar
kansaw Traveller.
The presence of the hoodlum in New York
is explained by the fact that there are from
700 to 10000 young boys there homeless
and dependent on themselves for a living,
which some of them get honestly. In Hart
ford, on the other hand, the Courant says the
rough, disorderly class Of boys fast drifting
into crime are largely recruited from respect
able families and attend day and Sunday
school.
Astronomer r. A. Proctor's family. or at
least the feminine portion thereof, discarded
corsets, and now galops about IN the divided
skirt. One OF the advantages of the "di-
vided skirt" cited by the scientist is increase
Of war.nth." Away with III That's enough
Increase of warmth in Julyl Hale away the
man that invented it. To the block with
him. So much for the divided skirt. We
wouldn't even own one le--ha, one arm OF
it, Burdette.
Anc ent history of base ball We read a
great deal at present about the first baseman,
second baseman and third baseman, and also
the short-stop man, and it occurs to US that
Cain was the original FIRST baseman; Judas
Iscarlot second and Nero third, while the
Wandering Jew may be regarded as the
original short-stop, for he never made any
thing but short stop wherever he went.
Noah was probably the first pitcher, for he
pitched the ark within and Without Ex-
change.
The County Commissioners of Bexar coun-
ty seem determined to make taxation equal
and uniform. They have followed up theil
taxation OF public institutions by levying ia,
upon the Ursuline convent, of San Antonio
This action does not seem to meet with the
endorsement of the people and will be con-
tested in the courts. The decision OF the
question will be an important one, as il eff
fects hundreds Of thousand dollars worth o.
like property throughout the State.-[Corpu'
Christi Critic.
II is stated that a movement is on foo
among the members of the Brotherhood Of
Telegraphers to perfect stock company with
the object of constructing system Of tele-
] 10 fhs