davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-11-07
Too Fast,

Col. Burlington is wealthy man. He
did not earn wealth himself, but re-
ceived it as legacy. He is very OBJ
fuse, although he puts on good deal
of style. Hearing that he wanted a
horse, a neighbor, who had one to sell,
went to him and said:
81 want to sell you horse. He is
just the kind of an animal you want.'
''Is he FAST
EAST? Fast is no name for him.
How far do you live from your office. "
''About three miles,
"Well, if you start from your Office
at four o'clock in the evening you can
sit down to your dinner at home at ten
minutes past FOUR
''Then I don't want him."
''No? Why not?''
because my dinner isn't ready until
five, and would not know what to do
with myself in the meantime. Texas
Siflings.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-11-07
Cyclones Of Fire.

Every half mile or so brings to the
sight of the floating voyager on the Au
Sable, writes Michigan correspondent
of the New York Eve',ing Post, an open
space in the forest many acres in ex-
tent. There are thick, blackened tree
trunks on the ground, protruding in all
directions from their shroud of green
underbrush. A more impressive spec
tacle are the dead pine trees still stand
ing in these open areas, black around
the roots, but reaching, straight as
dart, for {. hundred feet in the air.
These are the gaunt skeletons of what
were once splendid living pines, now
killed by the forest fires which periodic
ally sweep through the Michigan wood
lands during drought. Not far below
the mouth Of the Au Sable, and on the
other side of Saginaw bay, is the region
where the deadly fires of two years ago
devastated the woodlands so terribly,
causing the loss of hundreds of lives and
millions of dollars worth of property.
A well-informed resident of Michigan,
who lives but few miles from the
scene of that horror, has described it to
me, not as burning forest in the ordi-
':ary sense, but cyclone of flame,
marked in characters of fire by many
OF the phenomena of wind tornadoes.
In some way the forces generated q
powerful volume of air, filed with gases
in combustion, and penetrated with al
most supernatural heat 1t was sort
of earthly counterpart of those tornadoes
of fiery gas which men of science tell US
sweep over the incandescent envelope
of the sun. Wherever it touched the
ground this flaming DESTROYER consum-
ed. Woods, fences, houses, cattle, and
human beings were not merely burned
but almost vaporized. Often the whirl-
wind left behind marked track of ruin
with clearly-delineated sides. One
man would be taken; another few feet
away would be left. Half of line of
fence would be destroyed utterly, while
tile remaining half would not be even
scorched. The whirlwind of heat, like
cyclone of wind, sometimes bounded
from the earth only to descend again
and lick up the houses and forests. 1t
leaped over fields and rivers in an in
slant, converting the surface waters in
to steam, and finally stopped its career
OF destruction, not because of lack of
fuel. but because its strange fiery ener-
gy was in some occult way exhausted.
As proving its peculiar cyclonic quality,
there is well-authenticated story of a
farmer who had left his pantaloons in
the middle of tcn-acre lot. In the
pockets were five trade dollars, and
when he returned after the swift passage
of the flaming whirlwind he found only
lump of melted silver where he had
left the coins. Looking upon the enor-
nous mass of pine trees and vegetation
which line the Au Sable, conceiving
their infammable condition during
drought. and then glazing anew at the
open burned spaces, with their huge
charred tree-trpnks, one could easily
imagine that the stories about the Mich.
igan forest fires of 1881 were neither
fanciful nor exaggerated.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-11-07
Stretcbv Relipion.

An old couple, man and wife, were
along the wharves q day or two ago
limiting for an up-shore boat, and the
woman explained to a steamboat agent:
otis very stormy season and we ex-
pect to be seasick, and we druther 20
on boat where the captain is relig-
ious man.
"Well, that's all right" he replied.
''We've got one very religious captain
on our line, and his boat sails toni ht. "
''Can we 90 down and see him?"
''Oh, yes. Keep right down the street
until you see the boat
The couple walked on and finally
boarded the steamer. The captain and
all hands were busy with cargo, but the
old folks walked up to him and the
woman said:
"Capting, you have been recommend
ed to US as religious man.
''The -- have?' he promptly
growled.
They looked at each other with con-
sternation depicted in their faces, and
then the old man said:
''Capting, what church do you belong
TOP"
''See here!" roared the official, ''if
you've come here to bleed me for some
charity, or want me to sign petition,
or expect this boat to carry lot of
dead-heads up the lake, won't stand
it! What do you want? Out with it,
now, and no Internal chawing around.
I'm blanked if amt bothered by more
dashed lunatics than other BANKED man
on the dashed lakes!''
Man and wife retired to consult, and
after getting ten feet away the woman
said:
"Henry, he's not a religious man.
"Well, I Dunno
'tBut he swears like a pirate"
Eyes, Maria, but you see this is out
West. We don't swear and belong to
the church too in New Hampshire, but
they may do differently here. Heswears,
but he looks like man to depend upon
in Storm
''Shan't we look for another?''
II guess not, Maria. I guess the reli.
gious out here in Michigan are kind Of
stretchy and they low swearing on
steamboats, and around the depots
Wen go by this boat, and if he don't
swear any harder than he did to III
mebbe Providence will let him squeeze
through on the up-trip and sink him
when he comes down.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-11-07
An Anti-Duelist.

There is a man in New Orleans who
makes good living as compromiser
OF quarrels. He is a sharp lawyer, with
conciliatory temper and an oily tongue.
While other men are stirring up strife
he is turning away wrath-for q con-
sideration. He made great deal of
money in the good old days, so fast re-
ceding, when 4 duel before breakfast
was as indispensable to the happiness
of the Crescent City as fish on Friday.
Hot with wine, two young bloods would
quarrel. The lie would pass, and then
a challenge. Now, you see things moro
clearly through the cool gray morning
air than through the cigarette smoke Of
cafe, and very often this clearness of
vision comes while you look through
the quivering blue atmosphere at the
sparkling stars of the midnight sky.
Hence it was that our friend the peace
maker was never out of q job. His title
was second usually, but his business
was to see that no necessity arose for
his services as such. One case is a good
sample. A young society man had
called another society man coward,
with the avowed purpose of making
him fight duel. OF course, both were
well branded when the insult was Civ
en-. A challenge passed at once; but by
the time it had been received Mr.. In
suffer had grown cool and cautious.
He asked MI. Compromise to act as his
second
s.Now," said the latter, ito come
to a point at once, do you want to
fght?'
Between ourselves" responded the
young man, Il don't.''
do you want to 60 on the field at
ALL" asked the second; ''because it will
cost you more to get out of going on
the field than to get out of the duel af-
ter you're once face to face.''
81 don't want to go on the field ut
all, )" said the principal, land I don't
care what it costs to keep off.
every well,'' said the second; '.now
sit down and write just such an accept
ance as l tell you to write.''
''Acceptance?"
Eyes, certainly. Let me manage
this affair." said the second. Sin my
own way. Now, write out an accept
ance in the usual form, and put in
for weapons rifles and for distance two
paces."
"Why, that's muzzle to breast; MUIR
der outright" exclaimed the principal.
"Write what I tell you," said the Sec
ond.
When it was written the second car.
ried it himself to the second of the chal-
lenger.
'sWhy, this is butchery.'' said the
latter second; ''butchery in cold
blood. Neither man could possibly sur.
viven
''Then do I understand that you wish
to negotiate?" asked the other in his
blandest tone.
1--WE certainly do, said tho challen-
gers second.
Every well. very well; I'll sec
about it, /" said the challenged party'a
second.
OF course, that duel never came Of.
Philadelphia Record.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-11-07

Years ago John A. Allison mysteri-
ously disappeared from Suncook, n.
H., and his whereabouts was never
learned. Recently three miners discov-
cred in the White River Range, in Col
orado, ruined hut, and upon entering
discovered the skeleton of man lying
under a rotting table. In the pocket Of
a tattered garment they found a letter
Ito be opened by my friends'-and
upon reading it learned that the mold
ering bones were once the frame Of
John A. Allison. The yellow missive
stated q nephew, named Walter, was
with Allison, and that the latter feared
death at his hands for 5000, which he
possessed; and the miners believe the
old refuses fears were well grounded,
as they think Allison was murdered.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-11-07
Wrestling With a Ladder.

A man came out of the postof1ice car
rying a fifteen-foot ladder on his shoul-
der and attempted to cross Broadway.
Two ladies, vender of pencils, po-
liceman and two ordinary citizens were
victimized before the wheel of a heavy
truck struck the end of the ladder. The
man spun around for moment or two
and then settled down with the ladder
across his back. The truckman and
stage drivers shouted, and small boy
perched himself on either end of it and
attempted to see-saw across the mans
back. The policeman, recovering his
dignity, assisted the man to arise,
threatened to arrest him, and finally
sent him down Barclay street, amid a
chorus of yells from all hands.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-11-07

r. D. TUFTS, of Portland, Ore, like
Diogenes, lives in a tub, only on .
grander scale than did the old philoso-
pher. It is oblong, being ten feet long.
six wide and four feet deep. This hab-
itation has tin covered roof and the
space between the top of the slaves and
the ceiling serves the double purpose Of
ventilation and light. A carpet is on
the floor, pictures on the walls, two
chairs and q bed swinging hammock
fashion. occupy prominent positions.
No woman is allowed around that tub.
TUFTS IS bachelor and take his meals
out.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-11-07
ARun an 4 nruo Store.

Never was such rush made for any
Drug Store as is now at the City Drug
Store for Trial Bottle of DR.. Kings
New Discovery for Consumption.
Coughs and Coldss. All persons affect
ed with Asthma, Bronchitis Hoarse-
ness, Severed u0ghs or any affection
OF the Throat and Lungs, can get 5
Bottle OF this great remedy by calling
at above Drug Store. Regular size
loo
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-11-07

The most miserable creature on earth
is the college graduate, about six
months after he took his degree and
started out to astonish the country.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-11-07

In the State of Mississippi only 1886
women said their ages were thirty lone.
while no less than 1863 declared they
we're just thirty.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-11-07

Only six of the old defenders OF
Baltimore in the war of 1912 are now
alive.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-04
"old Time. Come Asain.'

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a.. ;. ,,,,.,,, ,r,,uh, ., many and
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WI 80 -. ~. ,o,,, an, ,r.nJf,,b,r.
s.. e.. w,.,.r, r,rn,,,s Almanac. and
IL, :, -, -, ,-;,h ,h.;, ,.I;,,;on and their
-, $780,, ,r,, 10.
-: ..,;r. h..d.a ro,. .rrpnp,ou,lv
=, d. =. 81 ,,.,,ri,.-,II
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-. .,,,,.s e., s.,
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.n- had. S,;,, ,r;,h .,cb year thr Al
-. -. -. ,h. ..u. ,s EVER And
Il Tbs mo-, man .,;lI stands
~. -, :. e.. .ro,, mar, with p.,p,c. and
-. ,, -.,,;,.s s,;ct;,g ,b,r, stick. into
~. .r, On. c.,.na.r with all the i'm.
a.. ,,,.i,,,.d ON, and the astronomical
Lid down with the movements Of the sun,
-, -, -. Al, n. r.I;,bJ,. a. nj old
,, e.. ,,,...,-o,o,;..I ralcpl.,iou, ar. mace
- e., o,,,,,..d h,.;. and d-ve,oument, of
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The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-04
poy,raaN couyrr SCHOOLS.
WI. .r. reaching in ,.r s.vera, District,


NO L-"a,henA- 'is "
Mr.. Chas HUFFMAN. oraminar' Nus pei''c 'pA"''-
ink, fnfnaf! M .. N-- '0
No. 2-hi"sod' q T.. ahnurn' D. L. NAf'e'
NO. s-h"eh 'ree., d D. naAr
No. 3-faermo' NUS Anlrha hhPpei
No. 6-fannng- Cha. flosd-
NO .--synsease. Z H.. mestian.
No. e-rraine orove. Hiss aoii'e erss-
No. s.-hsynarus Ciem hhpp'L
NO W-saxona Eugar v. henshsn,
NO. n'-hanoo'paA Mss aaggie nn"s
No. H.-9eary. I. d. hounhy'
No. i3-poniphan. Ernst huehi' rriheipai' su
sir Leak. 6rammar' >. A. ,aii"Nay' rrtnats =.
No. H-B-llrvue. Miss Hattie oitrn-
No H. Grrenwich. Miss josie hainef-
No. io-st- brnediets- a w. ma"
No. H-S%Ferance- l. d. nars"ai'' fno'p~''
Georgia Scott interm' dia'e' MARY eionen' rrina-
ry.
No. ls-Larerentzs. Miss Lena hnaner.
No. le-Durhns- Miss Z. v "iiimins-
No. 2.-Zimmerrnan's- T. y Paige.
No. 2l.-Troy. A. II. Miller, Prinripal; Emma
Tonrr. Grammar: Frances hatn"r. Intermediate
Hattie Allen, First Primary; Eliza j. johnston
Second Primary.
No. 2.-Fairyirw. Eli I. Browning.
No. q. -Ah-rlr's. George Terry.
No. 2i.-Ov-rlspdrr's. 5. NJ. Gilmore.
No. 25.-Eurka. Miss G 'tric Hanson.
No. 26.-Rock House. Miss Harriet s-rley.
No. G.-Shulsky's- Leon Calhoun
No. 29.-Chapsnn's. Sam. T. Smith.
No. 3i.-Arnold's. b. =. Arnold.
No. 32-Blair's. ID. W. Terry.
No 1-wsddrlrs. Chas X, Scott
No 3-Brnsh Crc-k. Mis-. Liz1ir Thompson.
No. 35--Coriiuiers. Vim. Er-kiur.
No. I.-Kirkpatrirk'- RolsI Armstrong.
No 3s-Burr-Oak. Drunis 1anli-.
No. 3a-R-d Eagle. ID. Z. L"Hcr.
No. 4n-Langau's. Miss N-llit Forrest.
No. 4l.-l"ia- Miss Ella Ark"rnan.
No. 4e.-Hiek"ry Giove. Truman Floyd.
Nc. 4s.-w White Cloud T. VI. Cecil Principal
Nora T. Dunlravy, Grammar: Kate F"rnrro"k' In
terinediate: Leona sullivan Primary; Miss MHss''
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-04

A NOTABLE CoSsoLIDATIoS.-The telegraph
announcements that the Cincinnati Gazette an
Commercial were TO be consolidated, caused NOR
surprise and comment than anything that In
happened for long time. They are both ol'
established papers, both doing hravy bnsinr>s.
and occupying widely different public fields, al
though both Republican The Gazette is one al
TIE oldest papers in the West, having been start
ed at the beginning Of the present ccntnry-a'-
though it claims to he almost one hundred yesr
old, by counting its age from the commencement
of the Liberty Hall, paper that was puhlishr'
b-fare the Gazette was started: rs somr Of our
Kansas papers rlam age from the commence
ment of some dcfunct predecessor. Many of the
leading newspaper men Of Ohio and Indiana,
now mostly dead or retired, served an npPr"n-
ticrshrp in the Gd-etts office. The late Lewis ID.
Campell was among the number. The GS-ctf'
has been a power in the West, and has had SOME
famous editors. Charles Hammond WAS the mo>i
distinguished. Col. }. c. Vaughn. long citi-
zen Of Kansas, was at ono tim- editor of the Ga
re,is. The Commercial had its origin somewh"r'
frum lsIO to 15l3: hut it- prosperity dates firm
the time of the MrxiraH War, whrn it began t'
excel as . newspaper. 1t then edited by J..
I t. tuTtis- Aboul Inc ~ iah HP -
subscription list to large proportions iy Pnblisi
inc one Of Emerson Benefits roTnanCes, "Th
Bandits of the Osage.r We believe that Mnra
Halstrd, the prr-cnt edii"r, conInrTVru"r'tI
for il, about tho close of the NAiean War, co''-
| trimming " s,i an sketches and stories
u The consolidation of the two papers prnhahl
means Republican harmony and success IN Obi"
for their quarrclling bas done mich 10 make di'
cord. The Ga.cftc has long been fnritanica
Pharisaical sheet, serkinG to thrust moral am'
social questions into p"litics. II did more tha'
all .l.r to can-e the lat. Republican, def'at i
Ohio by loading the temperance and Sunda'
questions upon the party. II has been TO" pn'
for tins world, and has long been a-saiiing Al"
TRYING to break down thu reputation of Rrruh
| lican leaders, because they did not subscribe /
its creed. or conc mp to its standard Of moral
Of courS-, on most of these questions, the Con-
merciai took thr opposite side, aud thus divtsi"
was kept up. great many more consolidation
might be effected throughout the country, will
| beneficial results. But, a the editors of boil
PAPERS will remain in the consolidated concern
We don't know whist sort Of . mix they vii
make Of il.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-04

OrR ApPoKrioS,ESr.-TheC Chisfs plan Of
Congressional apportionn-nt meets with general
favor, and j. prunonncrd the best that can bs
deviad. The districts are compact and As
well proporiirned il il I.ossihle TO mako them.
and Of very ueariy equal population. The only
obiertions Offered src by lew Counties that
would like To be in some other District, even II
they had to hr zigzagg-d in. They say their in
terysts do not lie in tine same direction, and there
is NO sense in pnt;ing them with Counties lying
along smother railroad. This confounded local.
ism and s-ctonalism Is ons of the the things that
wants to he played out in Kansas. The Junction
tion City CRios, that has spent the las; yeaI
fighting frauds, is the last paper that should try
tn keep up this sectional clanuishuess. The in
t-resis Of all the Counties in Kansas should Le
the same. This thing of insisting that the DIS
trcts should I've formed with reference TO certain
railroad lin-.. tan be- but for one of two purpos
es--ithrr some city that is centre for that rail
road anh its bIaneh-s wants to run the District
ur it is desired to have the District so that ths
iifluencr OF one rai.rnad shall control il. Ons
Of the very best Arguments in favor of our plan
il, that il lisregar,ls all such arrangements. II
District embraces two competing railroads, ths
people viii stand a i'-firr rianr-.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-04

VERY SAp.-The Hiawatha Herald has Ion:
had n severe pain in the bowels, because of th'
great quantities Of liquor drank in Troy, Marys
VILE, and other towns. But the thing SecnS
br coming home. even TO the prohibition town :"
Hiawatha Last weeks Herald is hrimmins ovr
with complaints of liquor selling and drinkin
in tina, town. II says snm-body there sells tn
stuff. and asks imaginary aged friend If h.
knows his boy is drinking liquor every day
meaning that almost every mans son il doing
~. Il Demands that the town drunks be arrest
ed, as well as those frum tn. country; asks th'
yonny ladies il they will keep company with th
Young man ho drunk yesterday: and evri
hopes that the ladies will not treat their frIrnds
to Intoxicating liquor on New Years Day. Thi-
is truly a bad state of affairs Some pinus peopl'
hcr-away have hern wont Ia roll up their eyes.
and tell what a drawback To the Temperance
cause the Chief j.. But there is the town "t Hi
awaiha, with three red hot prohihition pap-rs
where more whisk-y is drank every day than
Troy drinks in y week and whrrc railroad mel
say four times as much liquor is shipped ~ Their
is 10 Troy. Perhaps Pi"us fri nds will son'
time gr, it through tln-ir wool that people wh'
want to drink whisk-y d" no; consult tine news
paprrs upon the subject.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-04

@. W. Lowe and katura Lruis.
=. e. +. Kriierman and Hattie +. =. Randolph.
F.. NJ Pirklrs and Mary A. Maynard.
VIM Ransom and Alirr Pendleton.
f. +. Williamson and L+is +. Breeding.
!. II. Duttnn and Virginia Breeding.
NJ T. Clnycr and Sarah Gates.
". II. Wilkc and Mary A. Ricklrfs.
Charles Miller and Mary f. Baumsr.
\. S. C"mb- and Maggie ". D"ms-
J. !. Miller and Emma {. Saith.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-04

/ TgE SANE OLD FRAUn.-The Hiawatha World
ssar;ed the hall. and other papers are keep
Il moving, relative 10 Il repeal Of the subsidy
KoEsGs Fermcr. in the shape Of all the
Estray Nuiices. The Law always was
a. We were in the Legislature when the
! aw was passed. and did all in power to de-
feat it, hut without avail. The gammon that il
was Tor the interest nf the farmers prevailed. 1t
vas al the session of ls,i. An old frllnw named
Brus was then publishing the Farmer, at Law
renee. and he personally h"r"d the members TO
support the hill. 4 number of Efforts har. since
been made tn r.'rCal it, hni the prhlishrr of the
Farmer has Always managed to prevent IT, by the
cant that il il in the interest Of the farmers. At
: mes, tho FdTmr has been kept alive, when
otherwise il would have been PERMITTED 20 die,
70 the sole purpose "f getting the money for
thesc stray n";rcs. II has changed hands ~.
p,atedly, and hrrn moved from place 10 place,
but has always held iEm grip ON thrsc notices.
T. cy are of no earthly use in thar paper. Il i.
a paper of 70 force Influence. and not one
{ rsner in fifty in the State knows there is such
paper in existence. Very few people ever SEE
it. But the Law is SuuSc upon the State, and
seems Ia have become permanent fixture, like
other bigger ones that are just aS useless.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-04
BCSfNESS CARDS..
BODER B ROS.,

BAN NHIFS,
ksOt'TIl EST ryurr of the Public y uarr T"y Kan
> Lsin nti,ry bay >rll exchange prinri
Ial rItir hHr and % Cc,uty Warrants iuld Silyrr. sc
sn,l Tr,-iNr I~ps-Its BODER BlO>
IIialN1a
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-04

=. ID. Fish and A.icr Prrnrli.
George winn and Annie Walton.
John =. Adams AMI Rachel Porter.
d. +. Curtis and u. G.. Gruber.
Rlufor,l PLenix AMI Catherine Reed.
Arthur BIrlrcr and Mary j. Ball.
john J. Pritchard and Lillian N. L-c.
I. r. Hickman aud Sarah VI. Pruitt.
Eotr e. Hauimrnl and Lazy 4. Miller.
Jrsse .iImrsnn and Emma Srhock.
$. ID. Brrkl-y and Laura \. Wheeler.
wm. Maor,.hr,i aud Msuds 4. Nelson.
Andrew :. Inks and Elvira MrG tlliar'i.
Frank Z, Mitchell and Carrie Porter.
Robert Guirr aud Belle Hickman.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-04

". X. Pennington aud Carrie F.. Stuart
j. ". Mc,iIiliard and Belle Dittrnorc.
Z. +. Ru,lriau.sh anl Ltura J. Gdion.
Ausur: Courtin aud Lydia 4. Muclkey.
r. l.. Iuwry and Cors +. GilmIre.
= innrs Harms ausI Lucy i;nIichcr