The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-01-05
WITTICISMS

A man may be supplied with a gOodly
quantity Of sense and yet have few dol
lars.
Girls are more courageous than men.
They are willing to make a match with
a fellow twice their SLEEK.
Vennor predicts that during the next
three months the Atlantic ocean will
be full Of cold waves.-Rochester Post
Express.
Silver dollars with holes in them are
painfully numerous, but they are not
half so painfully numerous as the holes
without any silver around them.-Ex.
There is one man in New Hampshire
who is 20 stalwart that he won't ever
bolt his door.-Boston Post. He has a
half-breed n%eighbor who goes so far as
to bolt his victuals.
Herbert Spencer says the coming
American will be a more powerful man
than has heretofore existed. If such
is the case, the coming editor will have
to brace up and take boxing lessons
Lowell Citizen.
Lightning struck a contribution plate
in a western church Just as the deacon
was passing it around. This is the
first time anything has struck this plate
for three MONTHS" said the deacon
thoughtfully.-Ex.
as the point well taken? ?" asked a
member of the convention. "Gewhilli-
kens, yes" shouted a member near by,
s%pringing TO his feet. Some n had
left a pin with a view to just such a
Observation-Disclosures Hawkeye.
Heard on a slow train: allow long is
it since this railroad was completed y
"Well, it is now about five years since
the first train vas run over It." "In-
deed! Then | suppose we may meet it
coming back ?'-Philadelphia News.
The H%ungarians have a national
dance-"the csards"-intended to rep
resent ''the unquiet courseof true love-"
We have never seen the dance, but pre-
sunni the greater part of it consists of
an elderly gentleman kicking a young
man off the front stoop.-Burlington
%Hawkeye.
Little girl, do you know whose house
this is?" asked a solemn-looking old
man of a bright child seated on the
church steps. "Yes, sir, it's Gods, but
He amt in," she added, as the old gen
tleman was about to walk up the steps.
''and His agents gone to Europe
Texas S%lftings.
"Frank," said an aifectionate mother
the other day to a promising boy, "lf
you don't stop smoking and reading so
much you will get so after while that
you won't care anything about work"
Mother" replied the hopeful, leisurely
removing a long cigar, Il have got so
now."-N. Y. Ledger.
Can you help me a little?" said a
tramp, pOking his head into Il country
shop. "Why don't you help yourself"
said the proprietor, angrily. thank
YOU, will" said the tramp, as he picked
up a Dutch cheese and two loaves of
bread and disappeared like a streak of
lightning, followed by half a dozen
Jumps of coal.
Santa Claus came TO the house of this
writer this year. He brought a pair of
blue velvet slippers with no bottom to
them, but then it will only cost two
dollars and a half to have them soled,
after which We will have a pair of Slip
pers that could not be duplicated at
any store in this city for one dollar and
seVenty-iye cents.-Grip.
The stock in trade of the modern
humorist, as graphically compiled by
another: A man entered the Office the
other day heavily laden with a variety
of objects. A bent pin stuck in the
lapel of his coat, a custard pie was in
his left hand, a pair of lavender trousers
hung over one arm, while a bent piece
of stove-pipe was held under the other:
a green apple was in his coat pocket,
his other hand contained a plate of ice
cream, a glass of soda water and a can
of Kerosene. Beside him walked a mule
with a garden gate on his back, and a
bull dog and a goat. He created a great
deal of CONSERVATION until he stated
that he was a journeyman humorist ac-
companied by his professional iustru-
ments, which he desired to store for a
few days, a request that was cheerfully
granted by the statf.--Grip.
Railroading in Sonora, Mexico, is not
without its tribulations A correspond
ent of the Mexican Financier, writing
from HermosilIo. says that: "On the
arrival here of The first train from
Guaymas, the engineer, conductor and
brakeman were all arrested merely be-
cause the train was necessarily delayed.
A Mexican having recently lost his
baggage at one of the stations through
his own negligence, an American bag
gage master was arrested for having
stolen them without the least proof
against him but merely upon the far
fetched supposition that he might have