The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1883-11-21
-,ue e9-e.Aa. 80
The LAMP.
Written for the MINER

THE KEROSENE LAMP.
Written for the MINER.
YES" 1 remarked, as I lifted tn
lamp from its h.,lder land 1t burn
my fingers) to refill it, they alvay
want refilling after they are lighte
when you have company; Eyes, th
kerosene lamp" 10y this time m.
hands were all oily; Eyes. the kerr
sene oil is another instance" jus
here of toppled the chimney an.
smashed on the carpet-''yes, rs
was saying. the kerosene lamp i
another instance Of the ADVANCE
this moment / noticed that as usua
the tablecloth bore the impress of til
lamp bottom done, we'll done, in OF
yes, the kerosene lamp ia anothe,
instance Of the advance of civiliza
tion-and, though / had at last sue
ceeded in saying what I said, thu
shade at the same moment crashed
upon the inkstand. which is forever
in the way, and spattered the ink
over the best book in the house, and
Mrs. Vesuvius looked daggers.
"I'm the last man ia the world to
drag family matters before the pub.
lie, but I will say that had that lamp
been filled during the day. as 1t should
have been, no disaster would have oc.
Cured, and my hand would not again
have been in my pocket to shell out
for an unnecessary expense. And:
again, I've spoken, time and again
about this neglect of the lamps they
never seemed to be filed; and it is ag-
gravating beyond expression to be
eternally obliged to stop reading in
order to stumble about in the dark
hunting the oil can, which is never
In its place, and which, when found,
ID half the time empty. If 1 hadn't
spoken Of this one thousand times I'd
say nothing now; but when I reflect
that my thirteen girls r growing up
without the least idea of filing the
lamp at the proper time, to make
thirteen men miserable all the days
of their lives, I say when think, as
l must, of this thing, I cannot shut
my mouth, a Mrs. Vesuvius advises
me to.
But, having started the lamp again,
I resumed my remarks, and I should
here state that our company consisted
Of Mr.. .Miggles and his wife and
daughter, and that Mr.. Miggles took
occasion to remark that ''that's the
way our lamps do, too" and resum-
ing I added, Yes, the kerosene lamp
is 3 great step ahead - just
think of the lard lamp" (here
things began to look dlngy about the
room); "the dull, smoky lard lamp"
(things grew dingier and Mary Ann
wondered what on earth was the
matter with the light.) just think
of the days when lard lamps and
candies were the only household
means of illumination; (by this time
there was no illumination at all, for
the thing had gone out). Now I've
of this careless habit of leav-
ing used up VICES in the lamp until
l am tired-utterly tired and worD
out. And though we've 40 lamps in
the house there's never more than
one ready for use, and half the time
that isn't. Now, why is this? And
when the wick gives out is there ever
new wick to be found? I say right
here, it's all we'll enough to say
'woman's work is never done''
that's just exactly what I say; it
never seems to be, and I've sworn
times I'll stop this thing and
burn candles.
OF course, as Mrs. Vesuvius says,
Sits possible, I 'spose, to forget the
amp once in a while" OF course;
but why should there be a whole
,oncatenation of forgetting at q time?
Was there ever a spare wick to be
when the lamp went out, and
lid it eve go out that the lamp was
more than half full, and was it ever
half full land when wasn't
t?) that the can wasn't in the
wrong place without any oil in it
md was the funnel ever to be found |
lpon such an occasion? and how in
he name of common sense is the can
be filled in the dark when you
ant land you never cam find the
to ill 1t by?
Now, how many times have ]
about that candlestick? Mrs.
says she ''s'poses it's in the !
cellar, where she had it yesterday"
nd Mary Ann 'presumes MARY
Ann always presumes) it's up stairs"
nd during all this time the company
its in the dark and the fire goes out,
nd Mr.. Miggles takes occasion to re-
mark that it's justso at their house
nd that nothing SO aggravates a man
he says mani as such things.
However, it's u long lane that has
10 turn, and eventually the lamp Is
DING again. and there's enough oil
upon the floor to fill a dozen
ans, and the can is left in the hurry
vhere it was used, to be kicked over
y the first person who goes into the
itchen, and everybody's hands are
overed with oil, and everybody is
ut of patience, and the fire won't
ec0ver, and the evening is spoiled