The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1883-03-10
Lincoln County Leader.
Saturday. March 10, 1883.
HIS PA GOES SKATING.

roller skating rink" asked the gro
Gerry man.
80, everything broke him up"
said the bad boy. ale is split up
so ina buttons the top of his pants
10 his collar button, like a bicycle
rider. Well, he had no business
to have told me and my chum that
he used to be the best skater in
North America, when lie was a
boy. lie said he skated once from
Albany to New York in an %hour
and eighty minutes. Me and my
chum thought If pa was such a
terror on skates we would get him
to put on a pair of roller skates
and enter him as the great un-
known and clean out the whole
gang. We told pa that he must
remember that roller skates were
different from ice skates, and that
maybe he couldn't skate on them;
but he said it did not make any
difference what they were as long
as they were skates, and he would
Just paralyze the whole crowd.
SO we got "a pair of roller skates
for him, and, while we were strap
ping them on, pa he looked at the
skaters glide around on the smooth
wax floor Just as though they were
creased. Then pa looked at the
skates on his feet, after they were
tastened-sort o forlorn look, the
way a horse thief does when they
put shackles on his legs, and | told
him that if he was afraid he couldn't
skate with them we would take
them off; but he said he would
beat anybody there vas there II
bust a suspender. Then we
Strengthened pa up and pointed
him toward the middle of the
room, and he said 'leggo,' and we
Just gave him a little push to start
him, and he began to 90. Well,
by gosh, you'd aided to see pa try
ing to stop. You see, you can't
stick in your heel and stop, like
you can on ice skates, and pa soon
found that out, and he begun to
turn sideways, and then he threw
his arms and walked on his heels,
and he lost his hat and his eyes
began to stick out, aus he was
going right against an iron post.
One arm caught the post and he
circled around it a few times, and
then let 60 and began to fall, and,
sir, he kept falling all across the
room, and everybody got out OF
the way except a girl, and pa drag
ged her by the poladaise like Il
drowning man grabbs at a straw,
though there wasn't any straw in
her polanaise that l knows of, but
pa Just pulled her along as though
she was done up i'll Il shawl strap,
and his feet went out from under
him, and he struck on his shoulders
and kept agoing, with the girl drag
ging along like a bundle Of clothes.
II pa had had on another pair Of
roller skates on his shoulders, and
castors on his ears, he couldn't
have slid along any better. Pa is
81 short, thick man, and as he was
rolling along on his back, he looked
like II sofa with castors on being
pushed across the room by a girl.
Finally pa came to the wall and
had to stop, and the girl fell right
across him, with her roller skates
in his neck, and she called Inn an
old brute, and told him that If he
didn't let go of her polanase she
would murder him. just then my
chum and me got there and ampu-
tated pa from the girl and lifted
him up, and told him for heav-
ems sake to let us take off the
skates, cause he couldn't skate any
more than a COW, and pa he was
mad and said for us to let him
alone and he could skate all right,
and we let go and he started out
again. We'll, sir, | was ashamed.
IN old man like pa ought to know
better than to try TO be a boy.
This last time pa said he was going
to spread himself, and i'll am amy
Judge of a big spread he did spread
himself. Somehow the skates got
turned sideways on his feet, and
his feet got to going in different di-
rections, and pas feet were getting
so far apart, ina | vas afraid Ia
have two pas half the size, with
one leg apiece. tried to get him
to take up Il collection Of his legs
and get them in the same ware,
but his arms flew around and one
of them hit me on the nose, and /
thought if he wanted to strike the
best friend he had he could run
his old legs hisselt. When he be
pap T., e.Dorota couI1 hear the