The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-09-15
To Kiss and to be Kissed.

n6tural processing, ana one which. with
| in certain limitations, constitutes a
highly pleasing experience. It is a pro-
ceeding, moreover, which may he said to
have received the sanction of universal
custom from time immemorial and all
the world over; and there are not at
present any indications of its becoming
| in future less popular than it has been
! in the past. a kiss is not thing that
you can successfully describe. A poetic
lover who undertook the description
| would probably never get beyond some
stupidly inflated generalities.
josh Billing beautifully observes that
the more man tries to analyze q kiss
| the more he ean ., and he believes that
| the onlyrealevayto defne<aS kiss is to
take one. Kisses, of course, vary con-
| siderably. There is the formal kiss of
greeting, the fraternal kiss of affection,
| the kiss of policy, which is not always
| easy to give with good grace; the kiss
under the mistletoe, which is only OBJ
tanned after (of course) tremendous
amount of struggling and merriment;
the lovers kiss, which breathes rap.
ture; and the staid and dutiful saluta-
tion of coniugal attachment. Such a
classification as this only suggests an in
definite variety of experience.
A curious case of osculation is report
ed from across the Atlantic. Some time
ago Mr.. Finch. who was in the iewelry
business in Newbern, United States,
sold to young lady named Miss Waters
what was described as beautiful set of
real Jet, the bargain being that he was to
receive in payment 100 kisses, to be paid
at the rate of one kiss daily. Mr.. Finch
| was to call at the lady's house every day,
Sundays excepted, to receive his daily
kiss, which Miss Waters undertook and
promised to daily deliver to him. For
| thirty consecutive days, Sundays ex-
cepted, Mr.. Finch punctually called
upon Miss Waters, and duly re.
ceived the stipulated salutation. On the
thirty first day, however, Mr.. Finch
| made formal complaint that Miss
Waters was not fulfilling her contract,
| inasmuch as she insisted upon permit
| ting him to kiss her cheek only. He
| maintained that this did not constitute q
| legal kiss, and demanded that he should
be permitted to put his left arm around
| her waist and kiss her in the highest
style of the art. To this, however, q
| firm refusal was returned. The lady
| offered Mr.. Finch q choice of cheeks,
| but insisted that the contract would not
bear the construction putu it. There
upon Mr.. Finch, in great Indignation,
brought an action for breach of contract
against the lady
| This action raised several new and in
| teresting questions, among the most i'm
| portant of which was what constituted,
| in the eyes of the law kiss. The plain
| tiff set up the further plea that there was
| a difference between active and passive
| kisses; that Miss Walters had promised
| to give him certain number of kisses
| not merely to allow him to take them
and that giving kisses was an act which
| required the use of the lips. The case
was the subject of considerable contro-
versy in the press and elsewhere, but the
| writer, unfortunately, has never been
able to discover the result of the legal
proceedings which were instituted, and
| has concluded that a compromise of
some sort must, as was at one time ex-
| pected, have been brought about.
An equally remarkable kissing trans
| action occurred not long ago in Austria.
| In this instance, kiss was actually put
up for sale at auction, and publicly be-
slowed upon the highest bidder. The
occasion was charity fete got up in the
little town of Torrantal on behalf of the
poor of Agram. The well-meant en-
| deavor of the benevolent ladies and gen.
| tlemen who acted as salesmen and STALL
! holders to induce visitors to purchase
trifes exposed tor sale at twenty times
their value had not succeeded. Business
was not brisk. The public who had
| filled the sale were not in a generous
| r,r01 or6 tho of tho fnfn
| were disheartened. At this iuncture one
of the lady patronesses, remarkably
| beautiful woman, had what she
| her husband aside, conferred with him
with his consent, offered kiss to the
highest bidder, the sum paid for the IA
vor to be added to the receipts of the
| fete. Very low sums were at first of.
fered by the young men-for, of course,
not tempted by the opportunity ul-
timately the kiss was knocked down at
the relatively paltry figure of fifteen
forms and eleven kreutzers. The hus-
band of the lady seeing the slight store
set by the favor, offered to pay the
amount himself and take the kiss; but
/
the money, and as he refused to agree to
the bargain being cancelled, the kiss was
exchanged before the assembled com.
| pany.
A young lady reading in newspaper
/ the other day of girl having been made
crazy by sudden kiss. called the atten-
ton of her uncle, who was in the room,
to that singular occurrence, whereupou
the old gentleman gruf1y demanded
what the fool had gone crazy"for, "W hal
did she go crazy for?" archly asked the
ingenious maiden, "Why, for more, ]
suppose"
It must be rather awkward and un-
pleasant to be observed by prying eyes
when one indulges in a little innocent
OSCILLATION. We haye all laughed oyel
Dickens account of how the fat boy j %
caught Mr. Tupman in the act of kissing
the spinster in the arbor at Dingley Dell
and many of our readers could mo doubt
if they cared, recount equally humoroul
episodes in their own experience, or a
the expense of their friends. Apropos
there is rather good story, which comes
all the way from the antipodes. Th,
camera obscura at the Melbourne Expo
sition commanded view of the streets
of Melbourne, and also of the steps lead
ing up to the dome. On the occasion il
question, the exhibition was not yer,
, full of visitors, and while several persons
were looking at the camera they observe.
; the reflex of young gentleman and lad,
coming up the stairs towards the dome
, Their looks told how far they were On
j tangled in the meshes of love, but the.
. need not have BETRAYED it quite so open