Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-09-12

PENA, MICH, WEDN
WIT AND HUMOR.
All roads lead to roam.--Life.
Over candida sugar coated pill
Boston Star.
The watering cart saves many a
man from biting the dust.-Life.
A girl who runs away to sea has a
naughty-gal inclination.-The Judge
The wide-awake business mans LOT
is not an nappy one.-New York
News.
A brilliant wedding-the marriage
of a red-headed couple.-Philadel-
phia Herald.
Rowing is a sort of marine sport
and yet it's regular army work.
Philadelphia Herald.
Charlestown has shoemaker named
Gum. He should be able to make
some good chews.-Somerville Jour.
nal.
Vesuvious threatens another alarm
ing eruption" 1t is high time for
Vesuvious to be vaccinated. Pitts
burgh Telegraph.
"You should see that young gen.
tleman opposite? You should know
him. He comes from very old fam
ily." Indeed ! and he so fresh !"-
Boston Transcript.
There may not be much music in a
horse, but he generally knows when
he strikes the keen-oat.-Yonkers
Gazette. And when he has enough
corn-eat.-Boston Folio.
That which impels yachtsmen to
sail to sea in spite of cautionary sig
nails and so imperil the lives of all Oh
board, may be safely termed id-yacht-
cy.-Pittsburgh Telegraph.
1t is strange that whenever some
young ladies begin to play on the
piano many of the audience commence
to talk. One touch of discord makes
the whole party chin.-New York
Advertiser.
"Yes, he was in here the night be-
fore last. He came in and register
ed on a towel, and went west" This
was a polite way of saying railroad
man had come in washed his face
Bozeman Chronicle.
Junior Alley, who was rejected by
his Polly Ann, because, in the ardor
of the moment, he was abashed, and
used ungrammatical expressions,
thinks his rejection was polytechni-
cal one.-Boston Folio.
81 watched the pillows by day, |
watched the sea by night" says a
current poet. He should engage him
self as a hotel clerk at the seashore,
where he could watch the bill-owes
all the time.-Philadelphia Bulletin.
"Will there be a hop tonight ?'
asked summer sojourner of another
who had loved the stock market mot
wisely but too we'll" "Don't know
about the hop, but there will be a
a skip if | can get my trunk out"
was the reply.-Boston Bulletin.
Dibbin had horse which he called
"Graphy." "Very odd name," said
friend. "Not at ALL" responded
Tom; "when brought him it's Buy
o-Graphy; when / mount him it's
Top-o-Graphy; and when | want him
to go it's Gee-ho-Graphy. Sooner
vile Journal.
What remarkable nightgowns were
worn in the early days of England"
Jones remarked as he scrutinzed the
armor. "Nightgowns?" ?" | exclaimed
in surprise. Certainly" said Jones,
don't you see they were only put
on knights !"-Cincinnati Saturday
Night.
"Are you to take astronomy next
term, Elise?" inquired classmate of
her young friend. Hardly. But
Augustus is giving me splendid as
Economical lessons during the vaca-
ton" "Isn't that nice. Has he text
books and an atlas ?" "Oh, Louise,
my dear. He says I'm all the world
to him, and when | lean on his should
or he is my Atlas. Hartford Post.
"You are charged with vagrancy.
You never do anything but beg
said our Austin justice to a shabby
looking prisoner. Tramp-"You do
me great injustice, your Honor.
steal every chance | get, and gamble,
too, occasionally" Judge-T beg
your pardon. l had no idea you were
so respectable. | hope YOU will ex.