Bismarck tribune., 1883-06-22
drive the saloons about ten feet bey99d the CITY
limits where they can sell without license.

dr;va tha saloons about ten feet beyond the CITY
limits where they can sell without . license
Tur mavor Of western city declines to inter
fore with the Sunday delivery Of milk. He
.ava ~ vater q necessity of life and he can't
helm 81 if they do mix q little chalk with 1t.
There are newspapers in Chicago in thirteen
different languages, and when they all get after
= local politician he thinks tower OF baDei
mob has broken loose.
Senator Vest, of Missouri, was rendered lnsen-
sible by a bath at Hot Springs last week. 1t Is
entirely useless to draw moral here, however.
Some rash people will bathe.
AB1sMARcK minister yesterday asked bright
little boy the question: lis your father
christian ?" and was greatly amused When ne Ie-
piled: "No, sir, he's lawyer"
In speaking Of party a Minneapolis editor
wanted to say that certain lady's only orna-
ment was red rose, but the printer got 1t
"nose." Usual sad result No arrests.
|. Av.euE rumor is floating about to the effect
that Beecher is about to publish book bearing
the title stMy Hidden Life 1t should be kept
out Of tie hands of the young and innocent.
AWelch paper published in New York says:
"Ywwch ffrdd nawrswych estesdd y WttcWtWch-
dffryn." How fortunate we were to secure the
capital before this startling fact was promul-
gated.
AN English prophet has figured the thing
right down to a dead certainty and is kind
enough to announce in good season that flood
will sweep the world in December next. II you
can't swim grab a root.
IT is rumored that an English duke has aet
matrimonial trap for Vicky Woodruff and that
the giddy young creature is about to fall into it.
Sh-h-h-h-h now; keep real still and don't scare
her away from it.
IT is stated that an old woman asks for di-
vorce because her husband insists upon having
family worship three times day. She doesn't
propose. to spend the best days of her life patch
ing the knees Of his breeches.
AT Auburn, N. Y, hen belonging to q young
lady laid an egg on which the word "honey" ap-
peared. The hen must have heard the young
iadv and her fellow converting about each other
previous to the birth of tho egg.
AN Ohio dispatch tells of an irate father who
set fire to photograph car belonging to his
daughters lover, "leaving him nothing but the
girl and nightshirt on his back" Wonder ii
the girl used side saddle, or how?
IT has now leaked out that Martha Washing
ton was peppery-tongued female, shrew,
and that the life of the national daddy was full
of storms and marital rows. Let's see-was
George bald headed when he died?
V1croR HUGO thinks New England women
would be improved if softened by faint dash
of African blood, but it is not at all likely that
the New Englauders will attempt to thus i'm
prove the breed just to please Victor.
An editor who claims to know what he ia talk
ing about asserts that popping the question will
cure palpitation of the heart. To an inexper-
fenced person it appears that such an ordeal as
that would make it palp still harder.
AN exchange thinks it is breach of etiquette
never to be forgiven to sneeze in the presence Of
ROYALTY, but royalty has never bothered itself to
tell man what to do with his nose when he
feels sneeze working along up his suspenders.
A CONTEMPORARY speaks of neighbering
scribe as being live editor. That is as it should
be. dead editor would be very disagreeable
inconvenience about a newspaper factory, es-
pecially if he had been dead long enough to
spoil.
CHICAGO NEWS: Lynchings are growing more
frequent. and still the judges sit on the bench
winking their owlish eyes and granting super
sedeases and new trials, and instructing jurles
to acuuit notorious murderers. And they Won
der why the people are getting lawless.
'sOle T. Erickson and wife are rejoicing over
being called "papa" and mamma for the first
time. 1t is a girl and arrived on the 10th inst"
So says the Mayville Eagle of the 18th. Smart
infant, indeed, to be able to say ''papa" and
mamma" at the tender age of four days.
Au Yong WING the Chinese consul resident in
New York, with the members of his consulate
on recent Sabbath attended Plymouth chnrch,
Brooklyn. Doubtless they were edited by
Beecher's new evolution theology. Their prob
able thought is that China ought to send mis-
sionaries to Brooklyn.
KAL1ocH, the clergyman who three years ego
was mayor of San Francisco: and aspired to be-
come senator, has gone into the stock-raising
business in Santa Cruz county, and his son, who
killed Charles De Young, and was acquitted,
now roams about California, by turns preacher,
editor, and pot-hOuse politician.
JUDGE FORAKER, the republican candidate for
governor of Ohio, says his youth has always
been urged against him. my father declared
was too young when at thirteen I fell in love
with red haired girl, and he stopped my court
ing her. He objected when I enlisted, and
now other people say am too young for gov
ern0r.
A P1rrsBuRa girl, who had refused good
looking telegraph repair man three times within
six months, gives as a reason that he was too
much of wanderer; that he roamed from pole
to pole one climb to another and that if he did
come home, he'd be insulate that the neighbOrs
would be sure to talk.
WHILE smoking cigar Jamestown young
man examined some powder in store. The
powders examination Of the young man was
far the most rigid and searching Of the two.
He now issues pair of eyebrows daily with a
camels hair brush and lampblack, has had his
ha; ovono1 NJ, Nth horne clinner. and the