Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-03-30

A letter in Chinese ladys handwriting,
has Just reached Nikolalivsk, Siberia, which
was dated at Hong Kong, China, nine years
ago. Which goes to prove that the Oriental
husband does not materially differ from bis
brother OF the West in constitutional inability
to mail his wife's letter in the same year In
which it is delivered to him.
| young married couple went into rapturcs
over couple of superb cake baskets, one
the gift OF the bridegrooms father and the
other the gilt of the BRIDES aunt. They flu
ally concluded it would be safe to keep only
one oil such superb articles in the house, aud
accordingly they took the other to dealer
In duplicate wedding gifts. Imagine their
CONSERVATION when he told them ii was plat
ell ware and worth about SIPS. They keep
1t to put tacks in, but are awful anxious to
see how the other one wears. The worst Of
it is, they don't know which is the aunt's
basket.
Some French gourmcts recently dluel on
anglc-worms, and found them exceedingly
toothsome. The next time Paris is bcsicged,
the good people will have something to vary
their banquets of horse-tai soup and IA
steak
william Kech," says an exchange was
surprised, a few days since, to find that he
had purchased COW from trader with an
artificial tall There we always said that
missing link would turn up sometime.
| lady who was bitten by .at while stay
| ing at an Atlanta Ga, hotel ms brought
suit for 500 damages, If she gets it, we
know lots of editors who are going down
that way to board.
The New York legislature has passed i
bill permitting the sale Of ice. cream on sun.
day. Some good people feel bad about it,
bnt we are inclined to think it will promote
public order and morality after all, as it will
prevent many young men from escortug the
girls home from church on Sunday nights
A metropolitan news item item says "Fic
broke out early this morning in the human
hair factory of Bernhardt Mstels,eadt, and
caused s125 loss" Somebody probably drop
ped lighted cigar on the heal of a Splius
poet.
"a glorious and fashionable gumsuck,"
is the way an Ohio paper speaks of the liter
airy soree af a lot Of toothess old maids
Emma Fontaine of Montreal, when she
returned from work t.Ie other night, received
II letter that had been left for her during The
day. She opened it, smclt of the paper, and
Immediately fell into commissions. Il now
transpires that the letter was written by
Montreal grocery clerk, and that he used the
top of II Canadian cheese for desk
, a patient in hospital in Clcmona, Italy
is astonishing the medical world by his fcats
in the way OF eating After an attack of
pleurisy, he developed an abnormal taste for
pebbles, iron nails and knobs of glass. He
, thinks nothing of taking dozen or two of
f iron nails His favoritc diet, however, il
glass balls of convenient size, polished 80 as
10 admit of an easy passage down the throat.
Several applications have been received at
the hospital to board the man when he is
discharged.
There are two kinds of sparrers in this
county which ought TO be extcrminatetl--
: the flock to which John L. Sullivan belongs
and the little birds that are nice on toast.
When Rev. w. c. Richardson of the Am
# herst Mass Methodist church got sick a
c few Sundays ago, his wife took the desk and
preached a sermon. She evidently WAS ia
niiar with the manuscript,
q There is proposition before the Mich
- gan Legislature 10 permit the authorities Of
!. insane asyuns to provide for the keeping of
patients outside of these institutions. 1t is
rumored That this is mean scheme to secure
- editors for western newspapers.
=, A man has invented chair that can be
II adjusted to 800 different positions. -Er.
, Say-in one of EN- does the bottom drop
~ out and let fellow down into a basin OF not
lard and hold him there till he smells like a
fresh doughnut? Ii it does please send us
~ one of those chairs by fast express and telc-
y graph the combination. Our office dog has
II had too much meat, and the goat has broke
his horns.
% There is village in New Hampshire with
j. an Indian name which means smiling
Il Waters 1t is still appropriate, as there are
Is three drug stores there.
y Mr.. IIowells's new story is called niagara
Revisited, and describes the bride and bride
lie groom Of "The Wedding Journey" travelling
h again to the great waterfall after many years.
1t is SAID that the dialogue is such as to make
l. the transition to the usual alteration with
it the Niagara hackman great relie!
- Look out for bob veal And, by the way,
~ speaking OF bob veal, Oscar Wilde, they say,
has bobbed up in Paris.
Here we have it again. An advertiser
4, emphatically asserts that Spring suits
- How often shall we have to deny that state
- mentf
10 Blobson bought new china set the other
IN day, and now he says he wishes he had
is bought suit of plate armor with it.
"Wel, guess I've madequite sensation =
n remarked Mr.. Popinjay, as he came impins
i back into the house, after booting book
~ agent off the steps.
oil Right about face !" as the lover said wheI
" he crept up behind his fair one with the in
ten,ion of imprinting kiss on her right
,o check LEFT about face !" rs the fair one
laughiugly responded, skipping away anl
- leaving the young man with his mus
tache all on edge with disappointed antjci-
:, patton.
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