The Northern Pacific farmer., 1883-10-04
Paragraphs or wit.

| its early, isn't it?" yawned the boy
lazily turning in bed to the sound of hi
own name, muttered in wrathful shouts
''its early, isn't it?" .a
| II don't know whether it is or not. u
roared his father; ''but I amp
| And before the plant skate-strap wa
half tired, the boy made up his mint
that if the old gentlemen had been 8
| little suriier, the hastinad0 wouldn't
have lasted half throu ,h the sentence
But it lasted quite long enough as it Was.
Not one of the cackling old hens il
this country appear to know or care tha
Floridajurtle will lay 14O eggs in day
without making the least bit of noise
The hen fuss over one little egg is alb.
surd.
Mamma" said a little Covington boy
"what does 'helufla' mean?" "Why,
my child, I don't know. I never heard
such word. Where did you hear ito?''
Papa said it." "When?" SUNDAY
| morning. I heard him tell Mr.. Jones
| that CT urch was a helutfa place to &C
when the fishing was SO fl me-"
A Chesterfield in tatters: "Is the lady
of the house in?" asked a tramp of the
servant who rang the door-bell of one Of
the stateliest mansions in Austin. "De
| lady ID de house don't come to de door
to talk wild de likeobyou." "Then, "said
| the tramp elevating the remnant of q
hat, with grace Chesterfield might
have envied, "tell the lady of the house
| gentleman wishes to speak with her in
the parlor.'
A knock.down argument: Mrs. Percy
Ballavoine Tubbs-Tom has had awful
bad luck-poor fellow! Mr.. P. B. t.
What rubbish! Bad luck means bad
management. A man of sense keeps his
wits about him and his eyes open, is
prepared for bad luck and sees it COM
ing. If he hasn't intelligence enough
to get out of its way he deserves-Mr.
P.B. T. is hit bv SNOWFALL and knocked
into the middle of next W elk.
"Well, sir, where do you work, Sam.
uel?" inquired Chicago Judge of col
ored prisoner, yesterday.
II w ork in a bank, sah.'
"WhA under sun is your position in a
bank?"
"I'se teller, sah."
"What bank is this yon speak of, and
what are your duties as teller?"
''It's AL Hankin's ferry bank, and I
tells the gamblers that they can find any
sort o game they's spilin' fur, sah."-
Chicago Eye.
"Ought clergymen wear mustaches?'
asks Methodist Advocate. Why not?
We should think minister Of the Cos
pei might be permitted to wear mus
tache, when Lydia TOmpsOn is allowed
to wander about with one bracelet.
Certainly, parson, brace up and wear a
mustache like King Humbert's. if you
don't object to looking like "thirty
days after taking" advertisement.
A lady once wrote Roscoe Conkling a
note when he was in the Senate, asking
permission to bring her little girl to see
him. He replied in courteous note,
naming the hour at which he would re-
ceive her. At the hour named the lady
and child stood before him. "Mary,"
said the mother to her ceiid, "this is the
great Senator Conkling" eyes, little
Mary" said Lord Roscoe, with jovian
smile meant to be encouraging, "but
remember" solemnly lifting his fore
finger, "that there is a greater than
Senator Conkling."
The girls in one ofthe large New York
tobacco houses have struck. Oh, well,
that strike is failure at the start, for
being out of work not girl will havana
one to back her. That 's'nouyh Of that.
Give us sneezy one. At-cheW!
Judge Ritchie, of Frederick, Md, has
sixteen beautiful and accomplished
daughters, only one of whom is married.
This is what the French would call an
embarrassment of Ritchies.
'Young Politician writes: "Why
does a state have alegisla1ure?" My dear
boy, it doesn't. The legislature has the
state, every time. Has it by the throat,
by a large majority. Has it by the pock-
et-book. Has it on its back.-Somerville
Journal,