The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1883-06-06
THE BAD BOY.

inc TO draw some cider out of q bar
rel into a quart measure that had
flies in it. Get right out of this
place. and don't let me see you
around here until the health officer
saws that your pa has got over the
smallpox. saw bim this morning
and his face is all covered with pus-
tules and they will have him in the
pest house before night. You get, >
and he picked up butter tryer and
went for the boy, who took refuge
behind barrel of onions, and held
up mis- hands as though Jesse James
had drawn a bead on him.
20 you go and chance yourself OH.
That is not smallpox pa has got.
He had a fight with nest OF hor-
nets" said the boy.
"Hornetsl Well, III be cussed, "
remarked the groeeryman as he put
up the butter tryer, and gave the
bow a slice of rotten mushmelon.
"How in the world did he get into q
nest of hornets? / hope You did
not have anything to do with it"
The boy buried his face in the
melon until he looked as though
yellow cash had been cut from his
mouth to his ears, and after swal-
lowing the melon, he said : We'll,
pa saws | was responsible, and he
saws that settles it, and | can 60 my
way and he will 90 his. He says
he is willing to overlook everything
that | had done to make his life
unbearable, but steering him on to
nest of hornets and then getting
drunk, is too much, and can 60"
20, / guess it won't kill him very
much. He has been getting drunk
for twenty years, and he says he is
healthier than he ever was, since
his liver has got working again.
You see, Monday was regular In
dian summer day, and pa said ne
would take me and my chum out In
the woods TO gather hickory nuts II
we would be good. / said l would
and my chum said he would, and
we got a couple of bags and went
away out to Wanwatosa, in the
woods. We clubbed the trees and
got more nuts than anybody, and
had lunch, and pa was enjoying
his religion first rate. While pa was
taking a nap under tree, my chum
and me looked around and found
hornets nest on the lower limb of
tree we were sitting under, and my
chum said it would be good joke To
get pole and run it into the hor-
nets nest, and then run. Honest, i
didn't think about pa being under
the tree. and / went into field and
got hay pole and put the small
end up to the nest, and gouged the
nest couple of times, and then the
boss hornet came out of the hole
and whistled to the other hornets to
come out and have a circus, and
they began to come out, my. chum
and me ran and climbed over a
fence, and got behind pile of hoop
poles that was stacked up. l guess
the hornets saw my pa inst as they
got out of the nest, cause pretty soon
we heard pa call to Helen Damna-
tion,n or some other woman, we did
MT know, and he took his coat, tina.
he had been using for a pillow, and
whipped around, and he slapped
hisself on the shoulders, and then
took the lunch basket and pounded
around like he was crazy; and bime-
by he started on run towards town,
holding his pants up cause his sus
penders were hanging down on his
hips, and / never saw a fat man run
SO and fan hisself with a basket.
We could hear HIM yell, "come on,
boys. He'll is out fer noon," and he
went over hill and we didn't see
him any more. We waited till near
dark because we were afraid to go
after the bag of nuts till the hornets
had gone TO bed, and then we come
home. The bags were awful heavy,
and / think it real mean in pa to go
off and leave us, and not help carry
the bags"
Il swan" said the groceryman.
you are too mean to live. But
what about you getting drunk?"
20, / was going to tell you. Pa
had a bottle of liver medicine in his
coat pocket, and while he was whip
ping his hornets the bottle dropped
out, and l picked it up and carried it
home to him. NY chum wanted to
smell of the liver medicine, so he
took out the cork and it smelled
just like in front of a liquor store on
East Water street and my. chum
said his liver was bad, too, and he
took a swoller, and he said he should
think it was enough to cut a feller's
liver up in slices, but it was good,
and then | had peculiar feeling in
my liver, and my chum said his
liver felt better after he took a swal-
Ter, and SO / took a swoller. and it
was the offulest liver remedy ever
tasted. 1t scorched my throat Just
like diphtheria, but it beat diphtheria
or sore throat, all to pieces, and my
chum and me lated, we were SC
tickled. Did you ever take any
liver medicine? You know it makes
you feel as if your liver had got on
top of your tights, and like YOU
wanted TO jump and holler. Well
sir, honest, that liver medicine made
me dance q jig on viaduct bridge
and an soldier from the soldiers's
home come along and asked us wha
was the matter, and we told him
about our livers, and the liver med
icine, and showed him the bottle
and he s'posed he had the worst live
in the world, and said that the doc
tors at the nome couldn't cure him
Its o mean boy that would not hel,
an old veteran cure his liver, SO
told him to try pas liver remedy
and he took regular COW swallow
and said "here's to your livers, boys.
He must have a liver bigger nor
cows, and ! guess it is better. Thel
my liver began to feel Gurus, and m,
chum said his liver was getting tor
pid for some more, and we got gen
erous, and give our nuts all away Z
some boys. Say does liver medicin
make q teller give away all he hs