Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-29

were upon him. So was the goose a
moment later, for it slid from beneath
his fork and flew like a real live bird
out of the dish and into his very best
waistcOat. OF course expressions of
sympathy were rendered from all
sides, but somehow or other they
didn't make the young man feel bet
ter or look less greasy. The goose
was returned to the dish, and Mr.. Nc
Cloud returned to the work before him.
The accident had not a reassuring eff
feet upon either the carver or the COM
pany, and the renewed operations
were watched with greater interest
than before. This increased interest
IN his maneuvers with the roast goose
had tendency to make the obhging
gentleman quite careless as to whether
he attempted to carve with the edge or
back of his knife; and as a matter of
fact, he did try 80 dismember the goose
with the broad back of the carver.
He thought at the time that the bird
was ''cOnfounded tough, not being
aware of his endeavor to slice it with
the back of the knife, but when the
sharp edge pierced the finger which
be had pressed upon it in his frantic
effort to cut, he knew that ''some one
had blundered. " The accident, how
ever, was not observed by anyone in
the company, and Mr.. McCloud, who
was swearing inwardly and perspir-
ing outwardly very freely, was
encouraged to renew the attack.
Break leg off him"
was generally advised, while young
lady with a terra Gotta hat and an
amused smile, who sat next to the
young man with the knife, pleasantly
remarked that the carver looked more
cut up than the fowl. This young
woman was one of the bridesmaids,
and should have been more seriously
inclined at such a moment. The adj
vice rendered was accepted and the
now desperate man seized the goose
with both hands. Then began a fear
full struggle for the mastery. In the
wrestling match which followed
neither seemed to have the advantage
for some moments. The wedding
guests awaited the issue of the contest
and something to eat-in breathless
expectancy. They did not feel very
hungry, for they were full of hope.
Their confidence in McCloud was not
misplaced, for in the third round the
goose was ''downed." The leg came
off, and so did an event which was
wholly unexpected. The goose, In
parting with its limb slipped from the
grasp of its opponent and dashed it.
self against bowl containing gravy.
The bowl was upset, and its contents
sought fresh resting place in the lap
of the bride. A. shrek of dismay arose
as d large patch of the blue silk dress
assumed an esthetic gray. The bride,
covered with bushes and gravy hur-
rledly arose and left the room, and
there were some at the table who felt
they would sooner be enjoying free
lunch at a bar-room counter than
awaiting the free spread at that we'd
ding party. AS for Mr.. McCloud him
self-well, he was overcome with a de-
sire to sink into the cellar. He eprompt-
ly resigned his position as carver for
the company, and the resignation was
accepted without loss of time in dis
cussing it. Someone with a greater
knowledge of the anatomy OF a goose
was elected to fill the place, and at
length the guests were served. Nc
Cloud fled to London, Ont, the fol-
lowing morning.