The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1883-11-09
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Chicago girls never 'stand on Ger.
emony." This is considered fortu-
nate thing for CEREMONY Philadelphia
| Call.
-"Yes." she said, 81 always obey
nv husband, but | reckon have some
| thing to say about what his commands
| shall be. y Boston Post.
--Somo San Francisco people are
talking about the desirabilfty Of hold
ing another worlds fair. Won't it be
time enough 10 decide upon that after
they get there?-Indidnapoiis journal.
"A twelye-year-old boy of Franklin.
Penn, burst blood-vessel while blow.
ing q tin horn, and died in a few hours
IL this item is of no use to you cut IL
out and hand it to your neighbor.-
Lol0eH Citizen. -
-"When does a man become a
seamstress?' "When he hens and
haws." no" when he threads
his way" "When he rips and tears"
mo" "Giye it up" "Never, If he
can help it,"
A Stafford Comm woman
dreamed that she saw her husband kiss. 4
INV " HtlHiUVl Nltts anu STU dNOht
and struck him across his face and
broke his nose. The next night he ate
mince pie, Welsh rarebit. dried apples
and wedding cake to have a dream and
get square with her. Louisville Courier
Journal.
There Is not a dude in Finland.
diminish dudes" says the historian,
'never live long enough to be com
pleted They are used for crab-bait
before their buttons be disclosed. ard
are thus sensibly utilized in the liquid
morn and dew of youth. before con-
tagious ailments become imminent.
philadelphia boasts of young lady
who plays the piano with her feet. The
society for the prevention of cruelty 10
ncighbors should suppress this young
woman before her example becomes
contagious. One timid girl with her
feet on the piano, n banjo in her hands,
and the last rose Of summer on her lips
can depopulate whole block in an
evening Philadelphia Press.
Almost a hint-"How's yer comm
on in your new placer asked Uncle
Nose Of Gabe Snodgrass, who had re-
Gently accepted position rs porter in
an Austin hardware store. Use not
comm ON very fas'. Uncle Nose. DE
boss tole me somefing dis mornin', and
Of he don't take it back he gwinter loso
me, shuah yer born "What did he
tole yer2n ''lIe tole me ter consider
myself discharged. " Teras SytiRgs.
"A grocer insulted Mrs, Nose
Schaumbcrg the other day without in
tending it. She is an immensely stout
woman, and, stepping upon the scales,
playfully requested the grocer TO weigh
her. As he adjusted the weights he re-
marked that she weighed 100 pounds,
which proved to be her exact weight.
"How did you come to guess itP' she
asked. II am used to guessing at
weights. weighed hogs for five years
in Cincinnati. ".-ErchaRge.
-"Irs no use, A." wrote Yankee edi-
tor. 'for Vertas to send MS more no.
tees OF Narrow Escapes until no eau
beat this: Last night, as the express
train was nearing Dashville, a stranger
accidentally rot on the rails; but, see
ing the engine and cars coming, man
AGED to fix himself bolt upright against
hank. and drew in until he was a.
flat AS - board The train shaved him
so close that il cut the knobs Of the
bone studs oil his shirt, but otherwise
did him no damage. London SoctstB
The other day an old dsrkey came
mo Live Oak, Fla, with smile ON his
countenance ffty-two weeks long; that
h TO say, from year 10 year Some
one approached him cautiously and
asked him few questions AS TO crops
swell, boss, says he, II isn't had any
catterpilars in NV cotton dis year, |
has learnt how 10 keep 'em out.
.Well. how was that9' his questioner
inquired ferycntly. well. You see,
boss. when dcy fust comes you Jest
catch nine of EN- aud Kill eight and den
tell de oder to git an tell lie crowd dat
dey mustmoye dey quarters. Dey II do Il
eb'y time, boss, aud you needn't to
dop6. 4. OATS jss' Dc way ! ssP en-
su,n ny rsIss' " ..-