Daily globe., 1883-08-19
DUCKS AND A BLACK EYE.
The Man Who Failed to Quit at th'
Proper Time.


business one morning with an unmistak-
able black eye, and one cheek swelled,
and the boys thought he had been load
ing his gun too heavy. The morning
passed and he did not present his Office
comrades with any ducks, as was his
custom, and when forbearance ceased
to be virtue, they began chatting him
about his lack of success, and many in
quiries were made about his black eye.
He gave them soft answers for time,
telling them to 60 the hot place, ETC.,
but finally some remark was made that
led him to believe they knew something
about the black eye, so he promised
them if they would let up on him until
they went to lunch, he would tell them
all about it., As they were seated
around table in the restaurant, the
hunter looked in glass to see if his
eye was still there, took spoon and
stirring theice in his glass of water, said:
Boys, to be honest with you, it was
not my gun that kicked me. It was
son-of-a-gun on the South Side that
struck me. You see I had been out to
our clubhouse for three days, with all
of my high-toned shooting outfit, breech
loader, velvet coat, rubber wading
stockings, and everything complete, and
I didn't get ducks enough to make a
frying-pan smell gamey. Twas coming
home on the cars pretty discouraged.
Everybody I knew on the cars were
asking me what luck I had, and of
course told them I had frst-rate luck,
and had my ducks in the baggage-car.
They asked me all sorts of questions
about shooting, and wanted to go in the
ibaggage-car to look at my string of
ducks, but not having any there stood
them off by telling them I did not like
to trouble the baggage man. Oh, they
annoyed me terribly, and think now
that they did not believe I had q con-
founded duck. Well, when the train
stopped at Pewaukee, I looked out the
window and there was a little German
cigar maker, with sort of muskrat
trapper suit on, with an old single-bar-
rel muzzle loader, and he had about
fifty ducks that he had shot that day
around the lake. He threw the ducks in
the baggage-car, and took his old gun
and come in the smoker and Lit pipe,
and leaned back as contented as could
Fbe. I tell you, envied that little cigar
maker. What a contrast there was be-
tween us. I was dressed expensively,
and was loaded down with all the modern
improvements, and no ducks, and he was
loaded with ducks and no modern i'm
Eprovements. sat and thought of those
ducks of his in the baggage-car, and it
occurred to me that could make capi-
tai for myself by taking my friends in
to look at them. So when the con-
'ductor came through the car I asked
him If he had any objections to letting
"a few of us go in the baggage-car, and
knowing me very well ne said we could
fgo In, so I winked to my friend and we
went In where the ducks were. never
said they were mine, at all, but the fell
lows took it for granted they were, and
they examined the string critically, and
rcomphmented me, and [ never said a
word. I just acted as though it was
common occurrence with me to have a
carload of ducks. The baggage-man
looked at me kind of queer, as though
lhe knew the situation, and was afraid
he would tell who they belonged to,
Fbut I handed him half dollar slyly
and he kept his mouth shut as we'll as
any person [ ever met. [ expected
every minute the German cigar-maker
would come In with its single barrel
and give the whole snap away; but he
didn't, and when we returned to the
smoker, felt about eight inches taller,
and felt as though had maintained nv
reputation as hunter, even though it
was at the expense of the little cigar
maker. [ ought to have been satisfied
with that, but I was not. I think a
man ought to know when he has got
enough, but we are all too apt to
fail to quit at the proper time. When
the train arrived at the Milwau
Ikee depot there was a crowd, and
a great many of them knew me, and
they saw me with my gun, and the cigar
maker was taking the ducks out of the
door of the baggage-car, and I fingered
along there, and they all said I had had
good luck, and it was all right without
me saying word. They all thought
they were my ducks, and that the Ger
man was carrying them for me, and it
was not necessary for me to say a word.
But you know how it is. When tn
cigar maker was walking along ahead
of me, through the depot, an insane
idea occurred to me, as the crowd looked
on, and I said, loud enough for the cigar
maker to hear, Fritz, you take the
ducks up to the house on street-car,
and will go up in the carriage You
see, thought the German couldn't un-
derstand English, because he had been
talking German all the way in, with a
friend. I wish had as many dollars
as he understood English. He turned
short around and looked at me and said,
in very sassy manner, "vos is dos, and
I never felt so embarrassed in all my
life, and I tried to hurry by him, but he
turned round, with his gun over his
shoulder, and the barrel accidentally
hit me on the cheek, and then he said,
You dink dose mut-hens is yours? ]
guess not. l gill dot mut-hens by Be
waukee!" and then [ looked close at
the birds with my remaining eye, and
if every one there was not mud-hen [
hope to never see the back of my neck.
and the crowd laughed, and [ shall
never try to deceive anybody again
Now let's have a bottle of vine, and
don't you ever mention this matter