The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-07-12
manitomof pilot.
THURSDAY, JULY -, 1888.
AN UNIQUE WEDDING.

AN UNIQUE WEDDING
It was the practice during the civil
war to ship colored refugees, when COM
petent, under the title of ''contrabands. "
Among such candidates for muster On
the Rover, of the Mississippi squadron,
was a tall young buck with google eyes.
high cheek bones, a great splotch OF
nose, blubber lips, a mouth like
sharks. and skin which shone like
polished ebony.
'sWhat is your name?" asked my
clerk when this Apollo was presented
for enrolment.
'Gaspar, sahr'
s.What else?"
'.Nothin', sah.''
what, No other name?"
He scratched his wool and looked be-
wildered.
.'All right" said /, as / was in hur-
~; ''put him down 'Nothingr "
So 'sGaspar Nothing" was inscribed
on the records of the United States Ma
Wy.
So much for the groom.
But the bride! How can | picture
her? In need of an assistant washer
woman, we sent aboard of a boat load
of colored refugees and captured some
thing that looked like compromise be-
tween a giraffe and ourang-outang.
Language is inadequate to paint her
portrait. She was wondrously tall and
ugly, and angular and awkward; long
neck, long arms, long legs and long all
over Clad in her long, gray planta-
ton frock. she doomed up like a walk
| ing Cleopatra's Needle When she APP
peared at the office inquired what they
called her.
THAI, thir,' she lisped
''Sall whatP Anything else?"
| ''Not-th l knowth on, THRU
| Lets call her Long Sail, whispered
the clerk. So Long Sail was she christ
ened-in ink.
The first step taken in Sails behalf
was to devise some amelioration of her
| wardrobe. / contributed bolt of blue
| flannel, and one of our old sailors, dex-
ferrous with the needle, took Sails lati-
tude and longitude, fashioned a stylish
gown and petticoats, trimmed with
Barnsley sheeting, and Sail shone forth
like full-fedged bluejay. 1t was de-
cided that Sail should marry Casper.
THE BRIDES TRossEAU.
But here arose difficulty. What
| was to be done for a trosSeau? Sails
blue caparison had become greasy and
defaced and, besides, it was scarcely
| CON. me IL faut for bride. We deter
mined, as we were going to have we'd
ding in the family. that it should be
al In
ate emergency 1 remembered that our
navy had recently captured small con-
traband trader, and l had seen the little
vessel lying under the port quarter of
the flagship. / called upon the admiral
and stated our dilemma. Nobody ever
loved fun better than Admiral Porter
nor could anyone sympathize more than
he in such an enterprise as we had I'M
dertaken. For reply he arose, opened
back door of his cabin and went be-
low. Presently back he came, with his
arms full of bolts of calico, Bingham
and the like. | selected what seemed
most suitable, thanked him and left an
invitation for the wedding. !.
Our man mantuamaker again set to
work with a will, and under his artistic
douch Sail soon was gorgeous. We even
fabricated set of stays and laced her
up like tenor drum. Next to be look
I'd for was the wedding ring. This was
furnished by the wife of an officer of the
Marine Brigade; also some artificial
flowers for the char" and a pair of
white kid gauntlets, which, by dint of
soaking and stretching, were at last
adapted to Sails taper digits. When
we had her all rugged, Solomon in all
mis- glory certainly never shone as she
lid. She was fairly aghast at herself,
! and it was perhaps fortunate that we
nad no full length mirror in which she
| could have seen herself as others saw
| ler.
THE WEDDING.
| All being ready, time was fixed and
| Wedding invitations were issued to the
lotabilities of the squadron. The nup-
| tial knot was to be tied in the Rover's,
xardroom at 10 A. NJ, just after the
| Sunday muster. Our fleet surgeon, a
natural orator, than whom no one could
render the Episcopal text with more i'm
pressiveness and JUNCTION, assumed the
| role of master of ceremonies. Our cap
tain undertook to give away the bride.
As the decisive hour drew nigh the we'd
ding guests assembled, arrayed in full
naval uniform. The bridal party came
on deck. escorted by the ''contrabands"
| in blue jackets and white pants. One
OF Gaspers messmates officiated as
groomsman, while my clerk endeavored
to do the honors as sort of he brides
| maid. The fleet surgeon began the SER
vice with dignity and solemnity befit-
ting the occasion.
All went well until he came to, "Who
giveth this woman to be married to this
| manp"
Then our skipper stepped forth. He
was an old salt who always took things
in dead and serious earnest, and talked
from the bottom of his heart.
''Sall!' said he, you've heard what
the minister has just read! Now, mind,
there's no foolin' about this! Casper is
to stick to you and you're to stick to
Casper! No more runnin' round among
these other darkeys!. Casper is your
husband and you are Gasper's wife, and
you re to love and honor and cherish
and obey him! Do you understand
thatp''
''Yeth, thir,' lisped Sail.
and, casper, you re to look out fo1
Sail and take care of her and keep her
to yourself and see that she don't 90
gallivanting about with anybody else.
Do you UNDERESTIMATE
Yes, sah, gasped the groom.
''Then 1 give this woman to be mar
ried to this man. Go ahead, fleet sur
geon!'
wHAR'S DE GOODS?
The doctor maintained his gravity
through this little interlude, and con-
tnued the service. When he came to
the ring business and with all nv
worldly goods | thee endow," a black
rascal in the rear ranks, overcome by
his feelings, chuckled and snorted out:
''Whar's de goods?"
Then he stuffed his blue cap into his
mouth. His NAL apropos slightly rip
Piled the general serenity, but we sur
yived it and came at last happily to the
benediction- Such was the union of
Casper and Long Sail, who can boast