The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-07-14
ADVICE TO A YOUNG CLERGYMAN.

three churches before you find out that
Providence was advertising for life in
surance agent or lawyer when YOU
jumped up and said: 'Here am l." and
went straight to the theological depart
ment. If you know how, or can learn
how to
Mix kalsomine and put it on the walls
in reasonably good shape; or,
Groom horse and put on harness;
'uor,
Beat carpet twice year and lay
the same after the fifth year so as to
bring all the holes under the sofa and
bookcase; or,
Pillow, drop corn, bind after reaper
,or feed thrasher; or,
Help blacksmith; or,
Sell goods on the road; or,
Clerk for carpenter; or,
Make shoes; or,
Practice medicine or law; or,
Work hydraulic pump in milk fac
1tory; or,
Write in an insurance Office; or,
Pound sand; or,
Write novels; or,
Grind poetry; or,
Run ward caucus, and pack State
Convention; or,
Shave yourself and polish your own
boots; or,
Go to the Legislature; or,
Drive cattle; or,
Brake on freight train; or,
Run stationary engine; or,
Serve in the army; or,
Steer a steamboat; or,
Drive street car; or,
Teach school;
Then, my dear young brother, if you
prefer it, if you honestly feel that you
have something to say in the pulpit
that people must hear, then preach.
But:
If you can't do anything else; if you
cant pillow or reap if you know not
how either to fish or cut bait; if at any
thing else you would starte, then, in
heavens name, keep out of the pulpit.
God never yet established church as
pension agency for anybody. And if
you have made up your mind that
you'll have to preach or starve, you
will confer favor upon the commu-
nifty by starving.
Or, you can edit newspaper, which
is a respectable way of doing the
same thing. Anybody can edit paper
except the editor. He doesn't know
the first principle of his business. Any
man whom he has had occasion to
bring into the dissecting room for dem
'onstration will tell you that.
You see, my son, we want men in the
pulpit to-day-real men, who would be
men among men anywhere; men who
can help the world carry its everyday
burdens, if need be; men like Paul, the
tent-maker; Luke, the physician; Peter,
the fisherman; Matthew, the collector of
customs (who must have been an active
and successful politician@ real men.
There were, doubtless, dudes in Israel
when God took Gideon away from the
threshing-loor and made him the de-
liverer of His people; but a thousand
dudes would not make one Gideon, as
a thousand naughts will not make one
unit. SO David was taken from the
sheep-told, and Moses was taken from
the palace, because, you see, men who
are good for something are good for
something else. Save only in the case
OF a fiddler; | believe a fiddler is usu-
ally good for nothing else under the
skies save only to fiddle, nor doth he
know aught else. But, as rule, q
real man amounts to reality wherever
you place him or find him, and dude,
in the ordinary walks of life, will be a
dude in the desk; and Paul in the sail
loft or a Gideon in the pew would be
Paul and Gideon in the pulpit. Don't
preach, if you think you would be
utterly good for nothing at any thing
else.
"You see," said the Pew, sliding
down into an easier position, ''you
preach clear over my head"
at isn't that, replied the Pulpit,
you dodge under my preaching Now
listen just minute longer till l tell you
how man last week made 500, 1000 in
Louisiana swamp lands"
And the Pew sat up so quickly and 80
straight that its back cracked.
You see, my inexperienced brother,
you have entered profession of all
callings, even from worldly point of
view, most difficult. You could keep
the Pew wide awake and bolt upright
all the time if you would talk about the
things the Pew wants to hear about
But that isn't your mission. You must
make the Pew want to listen to the
things you talk about. And your work
is going to be hard, wearying, depres-
sing at times, discouraging.
You will find that men consider the
twenty fve-minute sermon too fearfully
long, when the same watches proclaim
three-hour circus too short.
The man who can't stand lone of
those hideous, back-breaking pews'
fifteen minutes without fidgeting until
everybody within sight ofhim is nervous
will sit calmly and patiently in the
blazing san on the bleached end of a
cottonwood log whole Sunday morn
ing, watching his cork bob lazily in the