The Labor enquirer., 1883-01-20
sTRAYED OR STOLEN.

D. d.
II The man who travels under an alias
may boast that he has made name for
himself. f.,
A little boy, proud of his new jacket,
s Informed his sister that he was six
button kid ),
Barrels of gin have taken to exploding.
There must be terrible sehnapps when
they go,of. 49,. =.
Engineer Melville will not lecture. He
lis man of more character than was at
first supposed r. IT,. .
Grocers seldom establish themselves on
the seashore, probably from fear that the
sand may get in their weight. r
San Francisco contemplates the organi-
zation of base ball club. Westward the
star of umpire wends its way.
Texans object to the eruption of pen
mics. Like a good many other people,
they have no use for common cents.
Dead men, it is affirmed, tell no tales;
but nobody has ever ventured similar
.assestion with regard to dead women.
The Boston Transcript thinks that the
printer should be successful in society,
as he is so accustomed to making i'm
pressions. Z .
you do not seem to be very sorry for
your los SON hu=law?" "Oh, I regretted
him enough Wien he was alive, replied
the legal parent.
At public banquet the lion of the
evening is usually received with three
cheers and tiger This shows that he
stands hyena crowd of giraffes.
Most any man can grab gun by the
muzzle and pail it over the fence or out
of a boat, but the second or third time
will leave the gun without an owner.
1t may be all imagination, but when
man is drawn as a juryman he thinks
every man he sees smiling is grlnnlng at
his misfortune, and it is as tormenting as
heas,
A man named DunIow requested Theo-
-dore Hook to make a punning alluSlon
to his name. "Well, just lop off the last
SYLLABLE" responded the wit, land it's
Dun"
A daily paper says that rock salt IS
made at the inland springs and not from
sea water. We always had notion that
SALT was rocked in the cradle of the
deep.F
Several of our exchanges are deVotng
considerable space to the Importance OF
"cooking girls" It's no use. We don't
want them cooked. The raw damsel is
good enough for us.
Absent -mindedness has been consld-
cred the mark of great man, but tel
low never feels very big about it when
he lugs napkin away from the table in
his handkerchief pocket
Fashion item: Pumpkins may be
dressed in a sheet after scooping out the
inside cutting the outlines Of human
face in the rind, and putting candle
therein. The effect isvery pleasing.
The latest boarding house sport is
called "hunting the clam" About fifty
fritters are placed ON the floor, and the
boarders proceed to tread for the clam,
and the person who finds it receives
chrome.
A Newport snob recently went rowing
with a small poodle The boat capsized,
the snob was drowned, and the poodle
swan ashore; and we are longing to
know if this is a case Of the survival Of
the fttest. :
Mrs. Jones has long been wanting to
visit Greenwood cemetery, and now she
saws to her husband, "You have never
vet taken me to Greenwood" "Nso,
dear" he replied, that is a pleasure l
have yet had only in anticipation"
Look at you" shrieked Mrs. Ecoml,
as the nurse let the baby fall over the
second floor haluster, 'Two inches
nearer the wall and that child would
have smashed tiftydollar statuetteand
the hall lamp; And then they picked
up the baby.
Little Duncan often asks some odd
questions. The other evening, as he was
sitting out on hepiazza with his mother,
he gazed intently up at the sky for few
rnnrnnntc and tnrnino to her asked, Ma,