The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-11-02
4 western View Of Eastern Tourists.

The men wear black caps pulled down
over their heads till the bands touch
their shirt collars, and busters so long as
to almost sweep the ground, and which
are creased and limp as if they had been
used to sweep the car floor. One man
tourist always looks like every other
man tourist. His costume is disguise.
just as his manners, talk and way of
living on tour give him an identity
different from that which belongs to
him at home. But if the men are CON-
monplace and uninteresting, it may be
said of women tourists that they look
dowdyish. They wear on their heads
shapeless walking hats of style
fashionable some years ago. adorned
with dull-hued artificial flowers, which
have been mashed fiat while the owners
have been lolling against the backs of
car seats or on convenient shoulders.
The woman tourist who picks her way
in slippers from the car to the dining
hall, or who clumps along in her hus-
bands rubbers, also wears a duster 1t
is ''mussed' into a thousand Jumps and
folds, and has streaks of dust and Gin
ders on it running in every direction.
There are two characteristics aside
from slovenliness which mark the
woman tourist. The first is that her
face is utterly devoid of complexion,
and the second that, instead of speak
ing, she always squeaks.
When a mob of tourists have assault
ed the dining-room they take possession
of it. There is no one in the dining
90 ha 81
of their party. And how well they all
know each other! Such familiarity as
prevails among them, one would think,
could only be the result of living for
years as members of the same house.
hold. But they have been acquainted,
in most cases, no longer than it takes an
express train to run to Cheyenne from the
wilds of Jersey or Egyptian Illinois. In
the dining-room they clatter the dishes,
"hist' at the waitress, rattle knives
and forks, scrape chairs noisily on the
dozen at time and make bedlam of
it beautifully. The meal over, they
walk up and down the station platform
in couples or tours, or, selecting ina
tive" knot of them will set to work
pumping him. Then their wit and
knowledge crop out They know they
are west of the Missouri River and that
they have passed many shanty towns
along the Union Pacific. Therefore,
they are on the frontier-in the West
ern withstand they proceed to show
that they have left their civilization be-
hind them. 1t was too thin to wear
this journey through. When they talk
with one of the benighted here whose
experience away from home has not,
perchance, been limited to single trip,
they Singer and giggle and ask wheth-
er this towns name is really Siam or
Shanghai or Shy Ann, and whether
there is really any town back of the
Phoenix Block. the Inter Ocean Hotel
and the opera house? They have heard
all about the cattle business. Where
do the ranches begin? Where do the
cowboys keep themselves? Where are
all the Indians? Are there buffaloes
near town? What State is Cheyenne
in? Is there such a Territory as Wyo-
ming? DO the people here ever 90 East?
What is the population? Were there
never any trees here? Is it always as
hot. or as cold, or as wet, or as dry as
to-day? But the bell rings. there is a
scramble for the car steps, the tourists
disappear into the doorways of the
sleeping cars, note books are soon in
hand. and many interesting data con
corning prairie dogs. antelopes, owls.
rattlesnakes. the profits of stock raising
and the thigh altitude of the region is
entered with the purpose of instructing
and astonishing. when the journey is
over, the stay-at-home greenies back in
'.Filadelfy. n-Chcuenne( va. T.. Leader.