The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1883-03-30
Rrother Gardner. Horo.cone.

~ see by de papers" said Brother Gard.
drop one Of the back windows-"I see by
de papers dat Prof. Gillian predicts dat
in 1883 de Guild man will be in de ascend
ancy. Jist 80. Well drap two mo- winderE
an discuss de subiick little.
"In one hundred Vars, den, 'cordin' to
de Professor, de Samuel shins an Givea'
dam Joneses will be at de bead OF de Guv'.
ment. P'raps pusson named Waydown
Bebee will be President OF de United
Stats. Whalebone Howker will be de
leadin' Chief Justice Of the highest court in
de land. Judge Cadaver will be de Cub.
nor OF Michigan. Chewso Chapman an
Depravity johnson will be de Vanderbilt
an Gould OF dc period, Profs. Breakdown
Turner an Rise Up Bunker will flourish at
Harvard an Yale. Three-Ply Jones, Dis.
count White, Bunko Jackson, an oders
will be presidents OF national banks, an
boards OF trade, chambers Of commerce,
an stock exchanges will be run entirely
by Guild men.
"ltam beautiful landscape to Hook upon,
an / really pity de poo white man. He
has bin lordin' 1t ober de world 80 long, an
has made SIGH progress in science an fer.
losophy dat ii will seem purity tough for him
saw our wood, clean our alleys. an black
our butes."
At this point Reconstructed Taylor be-
gan to stamp his feet and clap his hands
and seek to start an encore, but the Pfesi.
dent interrupted him with:
"Brudder Taylor drap il! Now draw yer
feet out OF de alley an doan' move agin till
de meetin' am out! No doubt you am
tiCkled half to death, but let Us see what
tickles you. In hundred vars we am to
be top OF de heap. We am to lose our
kinks and grow straight ha'r, our feet am
on new plan, an we am to lose our bru'
nette compilations. Den your heads am
to be reshaped an Resulted, orr speech
filed down and sandpapered, an we am ia
progress faster in 100 y'ars dan de white
man has in 1000. l think see US ut de
pinnaclel We look awful purity at de top
Of de heapl Nobody would know US as we
stan erect on de cap.sheaf an wave deglo'
rious banner.
"My friends" continued the President
after long and solemn silence, iii PROBES
sor Gillian am not fool, he am de mex
bes' thing-a crank. 0ne hundred y'ars
will not do what he says. We can't fetch
it. We was BON in de wrong time Of de
moon, brought mp on de wrong sort o eat
ables, an dedicated in de wrong kind Of
skules. We have an shall progress. Our
chill'en will know mo- dan we do, an our
chill'en will be u peg higher, an de day
will come when we shall stan higher In all
de arts an sciences; but we mus not forgit
de present Oar am mouths to feed an
bodies 10 clothe an house rent to pay an
fuel to buy, an be who loses days work
to dream ober Professor Gilliam's prophe'
cy shows his lack Of sense II, arter all dc
present members OF dis club have been
sleepin' for half century in de grave. dc
white man begins to lose his grip an dc
black begins to cotch on, it will be al
right. Meanwhile, doan miss q cog
Doan' be made fools Of. Doan' try tc
clothe de chill'en wild the raiment OF hun
dred Vars hence, an doan expeck dat de
predickshun dat we shall ultimately warm
our feet in de balls OF Congress am gwine
to satisfy present hunger. We will now
tighten our belts an pitch into de reglal
order OF bixness. "-Dttroit Free Pres.