Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-06-08
WIT AND HUM0R.

err too beforehand about introducing
Strawberries.
There may not be much music in I
horse. but he generally knows when hi
strikes the keen-oat.
From the way in which the bruiser:
stick to their business, it is evident thai
this is the muscle-age.
An editors capacity nowadays is large
| ly measured by the number of frauds,
political dead-beats and rowdies he car
get mad at him.
Three years constant study in Italy
will make an American girl know toe
much to sing in church, and too little te
be useful in opera.
"You say your brotheris younger than
| you, yet he looks much older" Yes,
he has seen great deal of trouble; but
l never married"
Women do not marry for love, OF
money, or dry goods. They marry in the
hope that they may have Spring house
cleaning to dc.
Jeems says his boarding house is too
slow. He told the old lady yesterday
that hereafter he'd like to dynamite
earlier.
Now get up and dance! We hasten to
advise all laughers and photographers
that julep-straw is certainly horn
pipe.
Glass shingles are now being made in
Pittsburg. They are very handy for the
mother, as she can just see how it tells
on the boy.
The newest and finest bridge in Pitts
burg is receiving a coat of sky-blue
paint. A bridge, to be solid, of course
ought to be azure thing.
A North Carolina trout dragged boy
under water. The man who saw the
catastrophe shows the rescued boy and
the water in evidence.
The truth is mighty and will prevail,
although it has more than once been
twisted so that GeorgeWashington would
not know it!
No matter how hard it is to find a
rocking-chair during the day, man is
sure to fall over one when he is in search
of the matchbox after dark.
We are told that the fool and his mon
ey were soon parted; but the fool
must have had money to be parted from.
Score one for the fool.
According to the Lowell Citizen the
Texas meteor goes on record rs the
largest that never fell in the United
States.
A young Nebraska farmer refused to
marry his betrothed because she used
powder He evidently thought it unsafe
to have Il match where there was so
much powder.
A scientist says that discord struck
violently on apiano will kill lizard. 1t
may be, but one can't always get a pi-
ano SO easily as he can grab stick,
which is just as good.
"Never engage in anything you would
not open with prayer" said strict
orthodox preacher. He did not say
what he would do with dozen of oyS-
tiers.
1t has been asserted that ayoung lady
who had been ''forsaken by her lover
was like cut-lass." Evidently the lover
wanted to sabre from an unhappy mar
riage.
In New York City 10000 women
maintain themselves, and many of their
husbands, by their own labor. New
York must be the headquarters of the
great American tramp.
OF great men always before the pub
lie, the letters passing to and fro should
be burned; at least each Spring when
the time for housekeeping has fully
come.
Conversation: You say that Snaggs
won't pay you that note? Is he embar-
rasscd?' "Well, he won't pay the note;
avs he cant, but he didn' t seem to be
lum bit embarrassed! Never saw such
check
Georgia boasts of devout citizen So
years old, whose father was 101 when he
was born. Both father and son were
nabitual goober-eaters from their in
fancy, which speaks volumes for that
juicy berry.
$50 Jack has strained himself train
ing for the double scull racer" said
Harvard boy to his chum on the float.
Yes, Jack never was very strong. -
"And now" chmed in the first speaker,
"now he's row-bust.''
One shoe factory in Lynn, Mass. gives
employment to Thirty divorced women.
In the interchange of their experience
time must fly rapidly. The female shoe
makers should, at least, stick to her last
husband.
A writer on farming, in the cold
North, says eggs should be gathered
twice n day in winter" If they could
be they might be cheaper. The average
farmer boy is lucky if he can gather an
egg once day.
The latest novelty among society
damsels in New York is complexion
dogs" No girl will now appear on
the street with dog that does not
match her complexion. This explains
why yellow dogs are SO fashionable.
II hate grammar awful" remarked u
young lady to whom something had been
said regarding that study. "Do you?" re-
piled an elderly matron;" no doubt you
will like it better when you become ac-
4uaintcd with it.
The New York Graphic prints pic
ture of the Emperor and Empress of
Austria washing the feet of the poor"
If that is one of the duties we shall
never 90 to Austria and run for Emper-
Jr.-NorriStown Herald.
A noted dude has died in Philadel-
phia. He was baboon in the Geologic
al Garden. His postures and gait were
exactly like the current American imi-
tation Of the London swells and he show
ed just about enough intelligence to
complete the business.
The delicate way for widow, who
marries the brother of her first husband,
to allude to her first consort is always
to speak of him as my deceased brother
n-law,h if any one stumbles on his
picture in an album and wants to know
whose likeness it is.
A circus came recently to Modesto,
Cal, and the editor of the StrdUbuck,
in writing of the performance, said that
las we had to 90 to press early in the
evening in order to attend, we can say
nothing regarding its merits until next
issue"
shall we wear silk hat?" was the
subject of lecture by Brooklyn divine
recently Yes, sir, if it is becoming to
YOU. But we imagine that minister
who w I'D choose such 4 subject to lee
ture upon might look betterin one of the
pancake style.
A human skeleton can now be bought
for S25. At this price it hardly pays a
man to raise his own skeletons; but some
poor families will continue to worry