Morning journal and courier., 1883-04-04
An Argument for Eating Pork.

[From the Washington National Republican, 'I have made discovery" said 8 journal lstlc historian yesterday, (which am anx- 1 ious you should consign to immortality via the National Republican. It is that the hog eating races of men are pre- eminent. They are wise in counsel and invincible in action. It was the g-eating Egyptian who invented the first civilization and conquered the whole world. from the desert coast to the passes of the IAimalayas. When the Egyptian lost stomach for his ancient fare he fell an easy prey to the bacon-fed Persians and Medes. The Aryans, who swept down from the pla. teaus of Iran to the plains of the Ganges, fattened pigs and eat them, and, of course, Cirove out the Dravidian peoples who con- temned swine. The Greek, the pure Hell lenes, nourished their youth sublime upon chimes and middlings and hams. They owed much to the horse and the dog, but without the hog the Amphyctionic league would nev- CT have been formed and mankind have lost the Parthenon and the Apollo. Homer loved sparerib, Phidias delighted in chitterlings, and Eschylus wrote with a stylus in one hand and 8 ham sandwich in the other. They were hog eating Greeks who subverted the Persian empire, where the pig had fallen into disfavor. When the Greeks became luxurious and lost both wisdom and taste they gave up the hog and were conquered by the Romans. These victors of the world were pre-eminently hog eaters, and so long
 
 invincible. When they abandoned the hog they fell an easy prey to the swine-fed Ger mans. And so long as the latter stick to the pig so long will the Teutons be the ruling race of the world. It was the Saxon swine more than the Saxon men who drove out the efeminate Britons that had lost their manly vigor at the same time they lost their relish for hog meat. The ancient Irish were hog eaters, and hence Ireland was the only west ern nation that Rome could not conquer. They were hog-eating Irish who whipped the beef-eating Danes at Clontarf. After this the Irish went after strange gods, fell to eat ing beef and mutton, surnamed Brian, their great king, Boroihme, after the Gaelic for COW, and thus by introducing domestic divi- sions paved the way for Strongbow and his Welsh and Norman hog-eaters. The three great nations of the world today are the great hog eating nations-America, England and Germany. The star of France is wan ing. Some years ago she prohibited the i'm portation of the American hog, and that once great people, foremost of the Christian world in brain and blood, has become so de- teriorated in that short period that half dozen Orleanist princes have thrown the whole country into mortal terror. Germany is going the same way. She has stopped the importation of the American hog; her own home supply is not sufficient, and the glory of the German race will surely fade. Bis marck can throttle France with one hand and Austria with the other, defy the Pope and quell the Czar, but he is not strong enough to tackle the hog. That contract is too big for him."
 q could talk to you all night, giving you historical evidences that the nation whose chief diet is hog meat is brave, brainy, pi- oHs, pure, honest, incorruptible and invinci- ble, while those who abandon the hog lose their proud pre-eminence and sink into weak ness and contempt. Egypt scorned the hog, and the Turk and the Bedouin now desolate the land of the lotus and the sphynx. Greece turned up her nose at the hog, and her marble gods are shattered and her genius carried captive to other lands. Rome eat hog and conquered the world, but when her statesmen forsook spareribs for peacocks' tongues and her generals preferred larks brains to pigs feet the scepter dropped from her nerveless grasp. Instead of the plum and the buckler borne by the ancient Ro- man, his modern descendant carries around monkey and hand organ. What Greece is France may become and the awful fate of Rome stares with a gorgon glare into the eyes of Germany. Let Germany and France profit from the lessons of the past, and may America heed this warning to never go back on the hog"