The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-04-22
FLANAGAN THEOLOGY,


The great unterrifed Bob Ingersoll.
Upon the mental sea of upturned faces,
Was represented many Christian races,
The Methodist and Presbyterian,
And many an orthodox sectArisn.
The Mormon" too, was there with
genial face,
Resolved, like others Of his faith and
race,
To grasp the boon Of liberty and think,
And from the deepest fountains freely
drink,
He's not a Talmsge Christian, nor a
Pagan,
Nor Jew, nor worshiper of Bob, nor
Dsgon;
He dares to reason on the broadest
ground,
Embracing truth wherever it is found;
He's ironclsd and proof 'gainst sceptic
fire.
And stands upon more solid base, and
higher
Than highest of the so-called Christian
basis.
And qualified to Judge in knOtty cases.
TslmsgeAn theology was gage
OF conflict 'twixt the noted priest aud
sage.
Here Talmage frat struck wildly left and
right,
And thus provoked the memorable fight.
They fought about creation and the food.
In fact their logic was as clear ss mud.
They fought bout Mother Eve and Noahs
sail,
Bout Jonah and the great historic whale
TslmaRe discussion OF Roberts ignor-
ances-
OF worlds made out of great omnipO.
tence.
And showed as plain as iceBergs in the
south,
How Jonah might be lodged inside the
mouth.
In huge Leviathan, the mouths feature,
And not less so in Brooklyn'S famous
preacher.
His patent no design will ever cove'I
Prodigious charm! Where is such an
other?
just fancy the great submarine preacher
Within the mouth Of this gigantic crea-
turel
And looking out-demorAlized forsooth-
While sitting on the whales back molar
tooth.
This logic is romantic, bold and new,
But, Mr., Talmage, Iitell you it won't dol
Whoever tries TO miracles explain,
Just places them on reasons broad do
main.
They posed on ethics most grAndil-
oquently,
And fought again e'er battle ground of
slavery;
The rules Of science in the classic fight
Knocked Talmage and his logic out Of
sight.
They both agree, and atill they disagree
Upon the question Of polygamy;
The Institution both antagonize,
Its friends they both agree TO ostracise.
The point in which they strangely disa-
gree,
Is plain enough for any child to aes;
IT'S simply this; Did God endorse the
By which I the 1srAolitishl race beganY
Frere Talmsge says: God punished those
who held it:
Though he permitted, ye: he soon cor
Great Jupiterl This logic must be
The huge corral should certainly be
fixed.
Four fifths of all mankind believe it
right,
And in defense of it would bravely fight,
The balance sieze upon the single bone.
Transmitted to the church from Pagan
Rome.
Taking Christian Bible as the rule.
The man denying it must be fool.
SO lngersol's affirmative is sound,
With which he whipped the priest on
Bible ground.
"Talmage alone denies this fact" said
Is That Gods own Book uphOlds polyg.
David is called man of Gods own
Who takes the Bible must take every
part.
If Ged considered it dsmning crime.
] ust tell US why he did not take the time
When writing out the great command
ments tent
Why did he not forbid the practise then?
''Instead Of this we find that laws we're
passed,
polygsmists from first to last
Abraham and Solomon, and other sases.
Down through all the great prophetic
ages.
'The Talmage graduating theory,
ls like feeding ghouls on missionary.
Don't take it all away from them at frat.
VI social plans 'twouId be the very worst. !
''To change the savage taste for Christian
diet,
First stew come missionary, or fry it;
Then put some mutton in his dish be-
tween,
Then give more missionary, fat or lean"
And thus was strung out satire hours
long,
With that cOnsummate force and logic
strong,
And genius, tn ats worthy better cause,
Which brought the house with rapturous
applause.
As self.plumed critic of the wordy
Justice demands that 1 should Judge
them right.
The one is ynnia1 lilo 20 d;orf ,,o.-