The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-01-06

we str1ightened pa up, and posnee4 him towards the, m5ddle of -lDk rosm, aad he ssid -isgsp,- and - jsss give him . litfle psxh e ssaxt hin, and he began to go. Well. by guSA yoa'd dide to have seen pa ny so Se4, You sec, you can't stick in your heel and stop, like you can on ice skates, and pa soon found that out, and he began to turn sideways, and then he threw his arms and walked on his heels. and he lost his hat and his eyes began to suck out, cause he was going risht towards an iron post. One arm caught the post and he eirclcd around Il few tunes, and then he let go and began 10 tall, and, sir, he keps falling all across the room, and everybody got out of the way. except glri, and pa grabbed her oy the palonaise, like A drowning man grabs at sIaws, though there wasn't any strzws in her polonaise as know of, but pa just pulled her along as though she ~zs done up in a shawl strap, and his feet went out from under him and he struck on h,s shoulders and kept a-going. with the gih dragging along like a bundle of clothes. If pa mad had another pair of roller skates on
 
 couldn't have slid along any better. Pai. a short, big man, and as he was rolling along on hls back. he looked like sota with oassors on be,ns pushed across a room by girl. Finally pa came to the wall and had to stop, and the girl tell across him. with her roller skates in his neck, and she called hum an old brute. and told him if he didn't let go of her polonaise she would murder him. ust then my chum and me gor there and we amputated pa from the girl. and lifted her up. and told him for heaven $ sake 10 let us take of the skates, cause he couldnt skate any more than COW, and pa was mad and said for us to le, him alone, and he would skate all right. and we let go and he struck out again. Well. sir, was ashamed. An old man like pa ough, to knew better than 10 try be boy. This last tune pa sad he was gong To spread himself, and If am any judge of I big spread, he did spie ld himself. somehow the skates go; turaed around on hls fe T. and his feet got to going n different directions, and pa's fec, were getting so lar apart tha, l was afraid would have two Pa :. halt the sIIc. with one leg apiece. I.ed to get him to ,ake up | collection oi his legs, and get them both in the same yard. but hts arms fiex around and one hit me on the nose. and thought # he wanted to strike the bes, friend he had. he could run his legs hissclf. When he began 10 scpar- ate could hear the bones crack. bu, maybe 1t was his pants. but anyway he came down on tae aoot like one of- these fellows m circus who spreads himself and he kept gong. and finally he sur rounded ag ston post with his legs, and stopped. and he looked pale, and the proprietor of the rink told pa if he want ed to give srapexe performance he would have to go to the gymnasium, and he couldn't skate on his shoulders any more, cause other skaters were afraid of him. Then pa said he would kick the liver ont of the proprietor of the rink, and he go, up and stcadied himself, and then he tried 10 kick the man, but both heels went up 10 wonct. and pa turned . back somersault and struck right on his vest in front guess it knocked the breath out him, for he didn't speak for a few minutes. and then he wanted to go home. and we put him in street car, and he laid down on the hay and rode home. O, the work we had to get pa clothes oif. He had cricks in his back, and every where, and ma was away to one Of the ncighbors. to look at the presents, and l had to put liniment on pa, and l made mistake and got bottle of furniture pol ish. and put it on pa and rubbed II in, and when ma came home, pa smeiled like a coffin at charity funeral. and ma said there was no way of getting that var nish of of pa till tt wore off. Pa says holidays are a condemned nuisance, any way. He will have 10 stay in the house all this week"
 "You are pretty rough on the old man, ? said the grocery man, 'after he has been so kind to you and given you nice pres eats.r
 ~Nice presents nuthin. All got was . come to Jesus Christmas card, with brindle fringe, from ma, and pa gave me pair of his old suspenders, and calen- dar with mottoes for every month, some quotations from scripture. such as 'honor thy father and mother, and evil com munications corrupt two in the bush, and a bird in the hand beats two pair.' Such things don't help boy to be good. What q boy wants IS club skates, and seven shot revolvers and such things. Well. must go and help pa roll over in bed, aud put on a new porous plaster. Good bye.'
 
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