Arizona weekly citizen., 1883-01-07
Oddities.

|. bugle trimmings are recommends
 for windy day. | The proper way to warm the house ii | to keep the cellar cOaled. The girl who was caught by A mashel loves not wisely but too swell.
 When does a young man partly be. come an insect2 When he is be-headed
 The journalist, like the carpenter
 helps makes living by means Of his
 ads
 We suppose trout fshing is called augl ng because there's nothing straight about 1t.
 When a young lady hems handker chiefs for a rich bachelor. she sevs that
 she may reap.
 "Wby do dogs have heas?" a young naturalist asks. Because my dear boy, the dogs are the biggest.
 That fellow Is just like telescope, {" sad a flashing young girl. You can draw i'm out and then shut him up again"
 "knOw thyself,' may be an excellent sort of prOverb. but it's forcing a pretty t5rgh ac0ualntanee on some folks
 ,hvis a yoI ng man like.S karnel e corr asked % yOung at. .EecaGse, saId anptrer, "he turns white when he pops
 IL IS said, "FOrtune knocks once at every mans door," In most cases It must have knocked when the man was out.
 "It isn't iOud prayers that count with tie Lord so much Us four fu.l quarts for every gallon, says an Arkansas circuit rider.
 Were you ever in an engagement Inquired an innocent rustic of a great mIlitiaman. "Ies, one" replied the son ot Mars, "but she went back on me-
 "Do put articles which have held mLk into hot water," says a domestic re c-ipt. Is thIs an admOnitiOn not tO drop the baby into the wash boiler?
 Deep-vOiced guzzler waiter. buug me three more schOOners" Awe struck spectator, vhisperiug-"That must be the Secretary of the Navy"
 It was out west that political dele gate moved that bar be set up in the room. He said be wanted to stop the numerous motions to adjourn.
 Regarding the difficulty of writing in the 'e.u Ot SophOclSs and Eschylus, it sec ms perfectly natural that the Attic .au only be reached by the highest Nights.
 Isn't it a little singular that Peter, Fru had been m the habit of gong .-Gshiug. should have been so staggered !, the hes told by Ananias and Sapphi-
 lou cant deceive the clements. The asst SHOW storm in New York "put fools D ps of snow on the heads of all the tatues of distinguishod citizens in the ,arks'
 Young housewife: What miserable it-le secs againl You really must tell hem, Jane. to let the hens set on them
 G-tle longer, or we must change our rucer."
 Stories first heard at a mothers knee re never forgotten. It IS the same nth some other things received at 8 lu-ler's knee, winch wIll readily occur D our readers.
 Heard in a bOudOir: "Mercy on mel iLat are those horrible sounds up .airs?" ooh, that's nothing but dear reur-e: l suppose he's lost hls collar luton again
 4 Michigan business man has adopt . tine Latin motto: "Frigidus dies est umm sumus sinistrUm.' A very free terprttation matas 1t: Its a cold ay when We get left
 Don't stand on ceremony, come in. fj a lady to an old farmer who had li.ed Co see her husband. Excuse me, .. o, ne 5s.-;lI.gimed. tine ma'' ''i'--- -'and- -Tvaonerance lesson: A gentleman ieWIug the St. Patrick prOcesslOn m lew York, overheard a foOtman say Bedadl The whisky soilors roides the orses, but the whisky drinker goes -fut."
 "Ike has an irritating skin disease, irs. Burlington says, charlotte russe rgke out all over him, and If he hadn't ore tbe Iniun beads as an Omulet, It 'tId doubtless have culminated fatal A good old Quaker lady, after listen i1 tD the extravagant yarn of person B long as her patience would allow, lii t1 him. "Friend, what pity i.'s n to he, when it seems so necessary to Iy happiness"
 A London paper has an article on Tue Emotional Language of Bees he language of a bee Is not emotional $ that of a man who is bitten by the lll end of the insect. Nor as emphatic nd sulphuroUs.
 4 ca.iOw youth asks a Philadelphia aper where be shall put his kiss , hen a young man don't know where , put kiss he should keep 1t in hIs cad, If it doesn't make too much noise Jlling round in the vacuum.
 A small boy of four summers was ding Ou a hObby-hOrse with a com alIon. He was seated rather unCom- irtaulv on the horses neck. After a .tective pause. be said; II think If ne oI us would get of l could ride et-er.'
 4 New York physician offers to cure len of snoring for ten dollars. Men .1 orc m the habit of snoring for ton Ol4rs should consult him. We never l.rs for such a small amount. It pasL't cost any more to snOre for ten lou-lud dollars.
 a San FrarcIscO woman advertised B follows. "FOr sale, two beautiful. u :. suow-whlte house dogs, cheap le was threatened with by ysterIcs when -e read thls the next morning; 1.-Two eauuful, small. sDOw-white houses, dog n-ap.
 Sporismen in the Indian TerrItOry .is winter are having more excitement han they lookedfOr. Instead of engag- l- iu the chase as soon as they TOSS The border, they find themselves Iased by Indian policemen One arty of five hunters was thus run down .st week and taken into custody. IneIr orsrs. wagons, guns and supplies were 5LG,cated according to law, and they nay be fined $500 each. The Indian hce are parrOlling the border In force , keep out other iDtruders. Incredible , it may seem in New York, tEey aveu't clubbed any body yet.-NeE ork Sun.