davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08
No Insult Intended.

Confused brains beget 'blundering
tongue. The man is an everyday ac-
quaintance who like the poet satirized
by Pope,
means not, but blunders round a meaning"
Others blunder because they have not
learned the art of asking or answering
question. In fact, half-heard or mis-
understood questions are prolific
source of plumbers.
Every one has heard of the clerk in
the post-office who shouted: "What
name?" till his breath gave out, and
then found that Louder" the answer,
was really the mans name, who was
not at all deaf.
Another blunder, arising from mis-
apprehension, once occurred in the de-
pot of the Little Miami Railroad at
Cincinnati. Pointing to train almost
ready to start, gentleman asked a
brakeman: g Does this train go to Nor
row?"
Yes, SIR" he replied, "and to-day,
too"
"a asked YOU if this train went to
Morrow" said the astonished gentle
man.
"And told you that it did," replied
the brakeman. CURLY, thinking that the
man was making fun of him; "also
that it went to-day. 1t has gone every
day for a month and will be likely to in
the future"
but l mean," said the gentleman,
''does it go to the town of Morrow"
The brakeman, taken back, had to
confess his ignorance, as he was new
to the road"
A little misunderstanding of an an
swer once caused the distinguished
Governor of Northern State to think
himself grossly insulted.
One afternoon, as he was standing on
the piazza of hotel in Jacksonville,
Fla, the bells began to ring. and men
ran along the street shouting, ..Fire!"
The Governor, accosting 4 colored citi-
zen, asked:
where's the fire?'
The answer came promptly:
: "Hush-yer-mouth."
"What!" cried the amazed Governor.
"Hush-yer-mouth," replied the color
ed man, with increased emphasis. His
ENcellency was thoroughly angry. But
just then a friend appeared and ex-
planned the apparent insult. Far from
intending any offence. the colored man
had answered the Governors question
correctly, as "Hush-a is the
local name of the district where the fire
was.-Iouth's Companion.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

while the steamboat Prairie had all her
upper works destroyed, leaving only
the hull and machinery. Her COM
mander, Captain Freeligh, escaped
death with some of his crew, but num-
Der of persons on the boat were killed
or drowned in the river. The ferry
boat plying between the city and the
Louisiana shore was also sunk with all
on board. 1t was never ascertained how
many people persisted in the river, but
the number was believed to be not less
than three hundred. Most of the peo-
pie on the boats and especially on the
fiat-boats, were strangers, and no proper
account could be taken of them. In the
city forty-siN persons were killed, the
bodies having been recovered, but in
none of the papers of that period that
have been accessible to the writer, GER
tainly in none of the city papers, are the
names of these forty-six victims to be
found.
The incidents of the storm were in
teresting. A boy was found dead, half
mile away from home, lodged in a
tree-top, where he had been transported
by the force of the elements. People,
horses and cattle were carried by the
storm to great distances and many
ladies were completely stripped of their
clothing, one lady being recorded as
having only her corset remaining after
wrestling with the cyclone. The dam
age to property was estimated at the
time at from S1,50O,OO0 to $4,000, 600,
and, allowing for the increase of values
at the present time, the loss to-day
would represent quite $4,000, 900.
Natchez then had 5000 population, and
to-day it has 10000 souls-showing how
little the population were daunted by
their terrible disaster.
The storm was felt in the country
around, and much damage done to life
and property. At Vidalia, La, the
courthouse and other buildings were
destroyed and the clerk of the circuit
court. killed, and in the counties of
Hines, Madison, Holmes and Rankin,
in Mississippi, there were numbers of
people killed or hurt, apd houses
wrecked. 1t does not, however, appear
that any summing up of the total loss
of life in the State was made ut the
time.-N. o. Picdyune.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08
In the Treasury.

A Washington letter saws: The Gov.
eminent has an assay Office located in
the Treasury, and here, away out of
sight, the coins of the mint are tested
and analyZed. If of full weight or very
nearly so, they are allowed to be issued;
if not-not. The Government assayer.
a lean young man with a heavy blonde
mustache and high, pale forehead, has
a furnace and a full laboratory here.
The moment a lot of coins are issued by
the mintS over the country, samples OF
the issue are sent to him. He anaivzes
them and reports as to their quality. He
has little roller which will roll a twenty
dollar gold-piece or silver dollar out
as thin as a pin. This is then melted
and its quality tested by means of chem
icals. Counterfeit coins are also ana
lived by him. and their qualities given
to the secret service for aid in their de-
lection. While | vas present several
coins came in from the mint at New Or
leans. They were each sent in an en-
velope, marked with the date of their
coinage and the number of thousands
of dollars made like them.
IneXt went to the carpet room, where
ali the carpets for the offices connected
with the Treasury all over the country
are made. When a customs Office in
Cleveland, for instance, wants a carpet
Its official sends on to the Treasury of
the United States diagram of the room.
The United States in this room makes
the carpet, cuts it, sews it, and sends il
TO them. 1t used to be that the various
officials bought their own stationery,
carpets-everything charged the
Government ad libitum. This is all
changed now. The Government buys
all these things by contract, and fur
nishes them itself. The carpet room is
like large city council room. walled
with rolls of Brussels carpet piled upon
upon carpets to be sent out. They have
the two widths of carpet arranged on a
saw-horse so that the two edges come
together, and then they busily fasten
with needle and thread.
In the next room women are also the
workers. There are twenty of them in
all now. A few days ago there were
more. They are making the snuff and
tobacco stamps with little hand-stamps
to show that they mean eight cents each
per pound, instead of sixteen cents, as
nnder the late law. Nest of the stamp
ers are young ladies-many of them are
pretty. look at their small hands and
delicate white wrists, and ask the guide:
'.Do they not get very tired pounding
up and down on that paper all day?"
He replies: "Yes! at first they could
hardly work the second day, but they
gradually broke themselves into it, and
now they do very well. These stamps
are being changed to correspond with
the new law. 1t saves the reprintihg.
sad that is a great item"
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08
Have You Canceri

Or has any relative or friend! If not, be
thankful that you can say no; if you have,
rejoice that instead of its being an incurable
malady, as has been nearly universally
held and believed, relief and cure are with
in reach. The Cancer Hospital at Aurora,
ILL.,, (only forty miles from Chicago, a
handsome, commodious structure, beauti-
fully situated, is an institution where the
treatment of cancerous and scrofulous dis
eases is made a speciality. 1t is presided
over by DIR. Pond, who, in addition to being
a regular graduate of one of the leading
medical colleges of the country, has given
years of study to Cancer and kindred affec-
lions. That he has been unusually success
full is attested by the hundreds of remark
able cures effected since the Institute was
established in 1872. His references are the
highest, and the testimonials furnished
carry absolute conviction. Full particulars,
terms, ETC., can be had by addressing DIR.
F. l.. Pond, Aurora, Kane County, Ill. ..
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08
MADE A MAN OF HIM.

Mr.. c. o. WHEELER. No. o Austin Street. Cam
bridgeport, Mass, makes the following remarkable
statement. On April q, 1888, he writes as follows:
II have been troubled with kidney diseas, for nearly
twenty years. Have suffered times with terrible
pains in my back and limbs / used many medicines,
but found nothing reached my case until took Hunts
Remedy. l purchased bottle of A. P. Gison ss
fremont Street. Boston, and before / had used this
one bottle found relief and continuing its use,
pains and weakness all disappeared and feel like
man. with new life and vigor. Hunts Remedy did
wonders for me, and have no hesitancy In recon-
mending It all afflicted with kidney liver diseases
am positive that by its they will find immediate
relief You may this letter in any way you choose
80 that the people may know of q sure medicine fol-
the cure of all diseases of kidneys and liver"
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08
II and II:

"If you are suffering from poor health
or languishing on q bed of sickness,
take cheer, II you are simply ailing,
or IL you feel weak and diepirited,
without clearly knowing why, Hop
'Bitters will surely cure you.'
"n you are Minister, and have overtaxed
yourself with your pastoral duties, or q Moth
.er, worn out with care and work, or man OF
business or laborer weakened by the strain OF
your everyday duties, or q man Of letters.
.toiling over your midnight work, Hop Bistsrs
win surely strengthen YOU"
IF you are suffering
from over eating or
drinking, any indiscre-
ton or dissipation, or
are young and growing
too fast, as is often the
case"
"Or IL you are in the workshop. on the
farm, at the desk, anywhere. and feel
that your system needs cleansing, tom
ing, or stimulating, without intoxicat-
ing, if you are old, blood thin and im-
pure, pulse feeble, nerves unsteady,
faculties waning, Hop Bitters is what
you need to give you new life, health,
and vigor.'
If you are costive or dyspeptic. or
Gus diseases of the stomach or bowels,
it is your own fault if you remain i'll.
If you are wasting away with any
form of Kidney disease, stop tempting
death this moment. and turn for acure
to Hop Bitters.
If you are sick with
that terrible sickness
Nervousness, you will
find balm in Gilead'
in Hop Bitters.
II you are a frequenter. Or q resident
of a miasmatic district, barricade your
system against the scourge of all coun.
tries-malaria, epidemic, bilious and
intermittent fevers-by the use of Hop
Bitters.
If you have rough, pimply, or salow skin,
bad breath, Hop Bittcrs will give you fair skin,
rich blood the sweetest breath, and health.
$500 will be paid for a case they will not cure
or help.
That poor. bedridden, invalid wife. sister,
mother. or daughter, can be made the picture
of health by a few bottles of Hop Bitters cost
ing but q trifie.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08
A Shocking Affair.

Old Mr.. Middlerib got tired of having
the mischievous boys N the neighbor-
hood sneak up, yank his front door bell
/ like deer for the nearest corner. So
he attached a powerful battery to the
inside knob, made connections with a
zinc plate on the door step, and waited
for the boy to come along and close the
circuit. But the boy had had fun enough
for that day, and didn't come back for
any more. Mr.. Middlerib grew tired
waiting, and at last forgot all about the
whole matter. 1t probably would not
have occurred to him again that day,
had not the minister made his pastoral
call that afternoon. The dominic gave
the bell one gentle, ecclesiastical pull,
then he jumped into the air so high that
he looked in at the transom, yelled like
4 wild Indian, his hat shot off. he fired
his umbrella through side light, and,
moaning piteously, sank down in a
nerveless heap on the sidewalk, while
the glad voice of Mr.. Middlerib, who
heard the row but couldn't see the tab
leau rang out from side window:
Pull it again will We, We fat-footed
limb of the imp! Pull it again, will
YEP" By the kindly services of the
house dog the pastor was returned to
consciousness and wrath before Mr..
Middlerib got down stairs. He reluc-
family accepted the Inequalities of the
medicine chest, but said his mind was
in too shattered condition to listen to
any explanation just then. And as he
walked stiffiy away Mr.. Middlerib adj
mitted that he would have to double his
subscription this year, and about half
made up his mind that he would sell two
or three half-grown boys to the Keokuk
medical college to raise the extra sub
scription. And he would do it, too, if
he could catch the boys.-Burlingtoa
Hawkeye.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

Somebody's child is dying-dying with
the flush of hope on his young face, and
somebody's mother thinking of the time
when that dear face will be hidden where
no ray of hope can brighten it-because
there was no cure for consumption. Read
er, if the child be your neighbours, take this
comforting word to the mothers heart be-
fore it is too late. Tell her that consump-
ton is durable; that men are living to-day
whom the physicians pronounced incura-
BILE, because one lung had been almost de-
stroyed by the disease. DR.. Pierce's
"Golden Medical Discovery" has cured
hundreds; surpasses cod liver oil, hypo-
phosphites, and other medicines in curing
this disease. Sold by druggists.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08
ARem.rk.bl. Cur, Of seroful..

William 8. Baker, of Lewis, vigo County,
Ind, writes as follows: Ny SON was taken
with scrofula in the hip when only two
years old. We tried several physicians
but the boy got no relief from their treat
ment. Noticing your ScovILL's SARsA-
LIVER SYRUP, recommended so highly, /
bought some Of it of you in the year 1862,
and continued taking 1t till the sores final
ly healed up. He is now twenty-one years
of age, and being satisfied that your medi-
cine did him so much good when he used it,
we want to try it again in another case,
and now write to you to get some more of it.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

1t is just as cheap and great deal cheap.
er to keep well than to remain in a state of
i'll health. You don't see sensible, intelli.
gent women stand back and hug their
prejudices when remedy for relieving fe-
male diseases is brought to their notice.
No, sir! They try it first and pass their
opinions afterwards. Every bottle of DR..
Guysott's Yellow Dock and Sarsaparilla
sold to woman will prove its merit as a
reliever of those painful disorders Incl
dental to female life. Try it.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

"THERE's a mighty rich man lives
there" said the Assessor, pointing to an
unpretentious house in small lot, Zone of
the richest men in town, l reckon"
"Wbo is he:" asked the stranger. "Don't
know his name," the Assessor replied.
"What is he WORTH" asked the stranger.
81 don't know that ether" said the Asses
sor; "don't know anything about him: he
isn't in my district. But know he's rich.
Great Scott you ought to hear him swear
at the Board of Equalization" "And that's
the way" queried the stranger. 81
know he's rfch," said the Assessor; ave
been Assessor nearly ten years, and know
how to pick out the rich men. They always
grumble about the taxes, howl at the as
sessment, and plead poverty before the
Board of Equalization" = Burlington
HQlck- Eye.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08
Truth Is Mighty.

When DR.. Rerce, of Buffalo, N. r, an.
hounced that his "Favorite Prescription"
would positively cure the many diseases
and weaknesses peculiar to women, some
doubted, and continued to employ the harsh
and caustic local treatment. But the mighty
truth gradually became acknowledged.
Thousands of ladies employed the Favor
lite Prescription" and were speedily cured.
BY druggists.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

ToccoA CITY, GA.-Dr. ]. p. Newman
says: browns Iron Bitters are very popu-
lar, and their use always results satisfac-
torily,o
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

IL the cure of severe coughs, weak lungs,
splitting of blood, and the early stages of
Consumption, DR.. Pierce's "Golden Medi.
cal Discovery" has astonished the medical
faculty. While ID cures the severest coughs,
it strengthens the system and purifes the
blood. By druggists.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

Don't Die I'm the House. Trough on Rats,
clears out rats mice flies. reaches. bed-bugs 15c.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

ONCE try Chrolithion Collars and Cuffs
and you will wear no other kind. They fit
% well and feel 80 nicely.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

Singing, irritation, all Kidney and Blad
der Complaints, cured by 'Buchu-Paiba." 81
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

Wells "Rough on Corns." 15c. Ask for it.
Complete, permanent cure. Corns, bunions.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

INVENTORS HAND-BooK-FREE out.
How great fortunes have been made. His
tory of inventions; valuable to all who read
and think. Order it by postal card. N. w.
Fitzgerald, Solicitor, Washington, D. C.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

THE land Spectator is always ready to
show the sites to his customers.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

GET Lyons Patent Heel Stiffeners for these
new boots or shoes before you run them over.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

BALTIMORE, MD.-Rev. w. H. Chapman
says: Il deem Browns Iron Bitters most
valuable tonic for general ill-health."
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

REDDING's Russia Salve has genuine merit,
as all who use IL will testify. Price &c Try it.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

SHOULD you be sufferer from dyspep-
STA, indigestion, malaria, or weakness, you
can be cured by Browns Iron Bitters.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

A PIG would seem the best subject for
medical students to experiment on, as he is
killed first and cured afterwards.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

The italian opera season is at hand. It
goes with a crank.-Detroit Free Press.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

A NEWARK drummer, who travelled for a
jewelry firm, has beat his employers to the
tune of several hundred dollars. He was a
snare drummer.-N. ]. Graphic.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

BRosCHITIs.- changes of the
weather cause Bronchial troubles. "BrotcR's
Bronchial IrOches" give relief. Sold only
in boxes.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

THE wig is the missing link. It is neither
man nor monkey, but bare boon.-Boston
Transcript.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

In one respect bootblack resembles the
sun. He can't shine when it rains.-Chi-
cdgo Times.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

II afflicted with Sore Eyes, use DIR. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it &c.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

Flies, reaches, ants, bed bugs, rats, mice
crows, cleared out by "Rough on Rats. "15c
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

A JERSEY mosquito, like charity, begins
to hum.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

MIGHT not the Kelly motor be termed Q
stationary engine.-L0e.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

You may print kiss, but there is no &C.
casion to publish it.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

The office-seeker's acknowledgement
N, Y idreriser.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

Skinny Men. "Wells' Health Remover"
restores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

Glenn's Sulphur Soap
Merits the sanction accorded it by physf-
clans. Hill's Hair Dye, black or brown, soc.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08
Rbeumn,ism PositiveIy Cured

in the shortest time. Write for free 40-page
pamphlet on rheumatism, to r. K. Helphen-
slime, Druggist, Washington. d. G.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08
Hostetter's Stom-

Hostetter's Stom-
, 7ch Bitters meets the
requirements of the
rational medical phi
losophy which at
present prevails. 1t
is q perfectly pure
able remedy.
embracing the three
important properties
Of O preventive, q
tonic and an al;era-
tive. 1t fortifes the
body against disease,
inyigOrates and re-
yitalizes the torpid
stomach and liver,
and effects a sanitary
change in the entire
system.
For sale by all
Druggists and Deal
ers generally.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

Doctors may be ever so amiable, yet they
are constantly guilty of i'll treatment.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

If tree were to break a window, what
would the window say? Tremendous.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08
ARMY OFFICERS TESTIMONY.

ALL recommend Wise's Axle Grease.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08
THE GENERAL MARKETS.

WIsE's Axle Grease never gums.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-08

Going back still further among the
records, the great storm at Natchez. one
of the startling events of more than
forty years ago is reached. There is
something historic and tangible. Nat
chez is sixty miles eastward of WesSon.
and a little south of the parallel of lati-
tude on which the latter is situated, but
is near the center of the belt of country
designated at the commencement of this
article. Forty-three years ago Natchez,
if not SO populous as at present, was a
city of considerable trade and general
importance. On Thursda.. May ., 1910.
two o'clock in the afternoon. a hurri-
cane from the southwest struck the city
of Natchez, and in two minutes of time,
as some of the survivors then declared.
most ofthe city was leveled to the ground
and the shipping in the harbor hope
lesSly wrecked. Hundreds of people
were drowned in the river or killed out
right under the ruins of their homes,
and many more were manned or man
gled. The public buildings, churches.
stores and warehouses, the dwellings of
the people, from the palatial mansion
to the humblest cabin, were mingled
in one general ruin. There were in
the river, tied up at the landing,
nearly hundred fatboats, loaded
with produce from the far north
ern tributaries of the Mississippi.
and bearing their crews, and in many
instances the families of the proprietors.
The destruction of these boats was so
sudden and complete that not more than
twenty of them were saved, the rest go
ing down with all on board. Of the
steamboats, in port at the time the St.
Lawrence was lifted up bodily out of
the water and then dashed downward,
sinking with all on board. The steam.
boat HiRds vas capsized and sunk,