davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04
TOM BOWEN, JUNIOR.

Senator Bowen has a son, Lutte
Bowen, who is the editor of a news
paper in Frankfort, Kansas That
the son is a chip of the old block,
may be inferred from the article in
which he announced the promotion
of his honorable dad" 1t is as fol-
lows:
Inasmuch as the parental dad
of the publisher of the Bee has just
been elected United States Senator
from Colorado, it may not be out of
place for us to tell of the sensation
experienced at being so near Il rela-
tive of a noted individual. You have
all heard the story told of Andrew
Jackson's wife when the news came
that her husband had been elected
President of the United States. No!
Well, we'll tell it, though it is some
what out of date:
Mrs. jackson was busily engaged
in her household duties, when a
neighbor rushed into the house and
excitedly informed her that the news
had Just come that her husbands
election was sure thing. Dropping
her work she rushed into the adjoin
ing room and exclaimed
ANDREW, you..are elected!"
Mr.. Jackson looked up coolly, tool
pinch of snuff, but made no reply.
"And now," she continued, nov
that you are President, what am IT,
you, Sally? You?" replied old
Hickory, why you are the same
id old fool that you always were
This is about the condition we fine
ourselves in at this writing, and 1--WE
hope that these few lines will fine
you all enjoying the same great
blessing"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04
NOT DEAD.

An Egyptian. VIXEN he las u law
suit OF hand. holds that success l. =.
duty. lfpcrjury vii. win the -ri,, h"
VIII prrjurr llIu-,if and troop OF
friends VIII a.l him. \ French
ply sician, ia tie employ Of the
Egyptian government, tel, a >incu-
lar story. illustrating the length 4
which al LSyp'ian VIII - III or,!cl
10 Win his case. The Er"ncAina:
was accompanying Latif Is~L;., IL
Governor General Of Upper Egypt.
on a tour Of Inspection. Will" stop
ping at a certain village. two urn
appeared before tn Pu~ha t. com
plain that their SAr.h ha,i stran- lr,:
one Uf tht.r relations aid seized hi
land.
The body was brought in sewed up
in its shroud. How long has he
been dead" asked the physician.
Several hours
Strip the body ordered the
physician.
He examined it. found it still warm,
the pulse beating. the eyes closed
and no involuntary motion,
The physician ordered the solcs of
the feet to be whipped. as a counter
irritant would relieve the head. if life
was not extinct The dead man.
overheariny the order opened his
eyes aud asked for water
God is merciful.' exclaimed the
complainers, land has restored him
to life"
The Pasha, however, took quite a
different view of the case, and or
dered each Of them to be bastinadoed.
While this was being done, the
physician whispered to the corpse
Your turn will come next; you
had better slip away
The man threw off his shroud and
ran off. He was pursued, caught
brought back and bastinadOed
Having thus disposed of the fraud
lent pleading, the Pasha heard the
merits of the case.
The man, it appeared, having been
unlawfully dispossessed by the SheiI
of his land, thought it would
strengthen his case in the Pasha's
eyes if he should add the charge Of
murder to that of illegal eviction.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

Among the Ladies who may read this there
may he several sickly ones who have made up
their minds IL act on the old saw which
specifies that What can't be cured. must h'
endured" While the truth of the old proycrl
Is Sclf-cvidcnt it is just possible they may
have erred i'll Judgment as to the possibilities
of the healing art outside of the medical
profession, and before giving up in despair
they had better test the efficacy Of Mrs Lydia
+. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, which
Is now attracting universal attention.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

That poverty which produces the greatest
distress Is not of the purse Int of thu blood
Deprived of its richness it become, scant AMI
wat-ry, = condition termed nnrmia in medical
writings. Given this condition, and .rofu!nu.
swrlllnss aud sores, general and nervous
debility, loss OF flesh and appetite. weak lun :,
throat disease. splitting of blood and cun>unp-
ton. are among the common results. II yu,i
arc n sufferer from thin, poor blood employ
DIR. Pierce'S Golden Medical Discovery
which cnrichcs the blood and cures these grave
affections. Is more nutrtive than cod liver
oil AMI is harmless i'll any condition of the
system, yet powerful to cure. by druggists
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

A FINE STREAM" You advertise
that there is q fine stream of water
on the place. but | don't see any
remarked a stranger, who wanted to
rent the place
The landlord said: just work
that pump little, and you will see a
fine stream OF water. Iou don't ex-
pect to have Niagara Falls OH the
place for Sl5 month, 90 your
Texas Slftln--.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

Everybody that HIS tried Ammens Cough
Syrup continues it, use; besides. they tell their
nelghbors of II. We were i'll drug store the
other day when q customer asked for a bolt 10 of
Ammens Cough Syrup, say ing, Il do not know
anything about IL myself, but my ghbor adj
vised me to buy II for my cold. aud tells me tho
use OF three bottles has aItr ely cured his cough
of two years standing; III fact he says IT 10 the
test medicine Ill the world for coughs. colds and
lung complaints, and that a one-dollar bottle
did HIM more good than all the prescriptions
he had from the doctors.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04
mo YOU HAVEN'T"

4 customcs asked druggist in tho city of
San Jose. Cal. for . bottle Of AAmsnis Cough
byruD. Tho druggist examined his shelf
and fsun that he Was ont of II and said: We
Renerally ksea il, but are out o. it; hut have
other preparations just a. good or better" The
customer replied, No you havr't; A mmen's
Co Oh Syrup sayed my lifc-l not oriy bolisve
knuow lt-and thsrs Is 10 usc to tryto sell me
something else, for won't lave any thing but
that
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04
AN HONEST POUND.

STAR" is the ONLY first-ca.. Tobacco
that is always put up in III ozs. to tho pouno
plug. Consumers who buy Tobacco by tn,
plug, will save > ozs. on cAeh plug 10y purchas
ins STAR. For proof of this, weigh YOU
Tobacco. Tin Stars on each plug.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04
SPANISH PHILOSOPHY.

The first word that a foreigner Wis
iting Spain learns is the one that
means to mountaineering is to be
done then. Our late Minister to the
Spanish court, the Hon. Hannibal
Hamlin, tells a story which brings
out Use Of this word and the Span
ish way of looking at things. He
says:
The day after my arrival at Nittoria
went to a shoemaker's to get some
repairs done to my boots. There was
nobody in the shop; the master was
on the opposite side of the street
smoking his cigarette. His shoulders
were covered with a mantle full OF
holes. and he looked like Il be- gar
but a Spanish beggar, appearing
rather proud than ashamed of his
poverty. He came over to see me and
l explained my business.
WAIT a moment said he, and i'm
meliately called his wife.
How much money is there in the
purse
Twelve picettas" fourteen francs.
forty centimes).
Then / shan't work"
But" said l. twelve picettas will
not last forever
"Who has seen tomorrow said
he, turning his back to me- Youths
|Companion.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

\ Young man in Iowa was so i'm
patient to see his girl that he paid
so for locomotive to run him
thlty-slx miles. When he got there
she was sparkling his rival, and a big
dog had possession of the front door
steps.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

Ths above is good ukerecs Of Hrs. Lydia Z. Fink
ham, of Lynn. Mas no above AL other human beings
may b truthfuy sailed tbs Dear Friend Of wonAn."
Of her eoTresr oAieuts love call her. ahs
Is scalouly devoted TO her work which tAe outcome
of a l<st.udy, ana IN obliged to keep nI lazy
assanes TO kolp her the largo eorrrepondaneO
which daily pours IN upon h-r each bearing ID special
burden OF suneriag or Joy at release from H. Her
Vegetable Compound Is medicine fer good and not
evil purposea I have personally Investigated 1t and
am sntisnsd Ct the tr-ta Of ths.
On account of IS proven c,i.s II L. recsnmended
and prescribed by Physicians In the country.
ono says: at works Ike a charm and raves much
pain. II will entirely the worst form Of falling
OF the uterus, Lcucorrhra, irregular saA painful
Msnstruaton all Ovarian Troubles, Inflammation and
liberation, Foodlngs Ill pts!acenents and the con-
sequcnt spnal weaknes, ard is especially adapted 10
the Change Of Life"
!. pernea:es every portion OF the svstcu and gives
new life ani visor /: icm0vs faitasss. natulency,
destroys all craving for s:ian;s. and relieves weak
ness Of the stomach. II Floating Headaches,
Nervous Iros:ration Ge:-Eal Debility. Sceplessnese,
Depression and indigestion. Tlat fctcg OF bearing
down, causing Tain, weigh: AMI tacia>ac Is always
permanently cured by Its l: will at all times. and
undar all circumstance oct in harmony with the law
that governs tho :c:.=le system.
Ncc.ts only 81 rcr hottie Yer e., and Is sold by
druggists Any ntv.co required tiecial cases. and
the OF many who Rave hoe sored to perfect
health ty tie Of tie V:-etal = Compound. he
obtained addressing; FRS. T. win STAN? for reply,
at her home In Lynn. MSS.
For kidney Co:.::,a e otter sex this Compounds
unsur: as-cd as njuucar: testimonial show.
Mrs Pir.Aail's liver r.I. .ays writer, "nrc
the b--t IN g., irof!I far T. Of Constipation,
BTorsness eai Tcrric.;y q lie liver. Her Blood
Purifier volc'y il IL -iocnl lie ana bids .r
to equal the Compound in il roy.riari:-.
All respoc: Lcr ..-;el Of Mercy hose sole
ambition is to doroo! ~ Others.
philadslphLr Ia, CD Mrs MD.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04
$4,000 REWARD!


Will he paid for the detection and conviction
of any person selling or dealing in any bogus,
counterfeit or imitation IIoP BITTERs, especial
ly Bitters or preparations with the word HOP
or Hors i'll their name or connected Herewith,
that i. intended to mislral and cheat the pub
lie, or for any preparation put in any form,
pretending to lie the same as HoP BIrTERs.
The Genuine have clusters of GREEN HoPS
tnoticc this printed on the white label, and
are the Iurcst and best medicine IN earth, es-
pecially for Kidney, Liver and Nervous Dis
eases. Beware of all others, and of all pre-
tended formulas or recipes of Hop BlTTERs
published in papers or for sale, as they are
frauds and swinde. Whoever deals in any
but the genuine will I've prosecuted.
HoP BlTTERs MFG. Co.,
Rochester, n. Y.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04
HE CAME BACK.

Independence is a good quality in
a mans character if common sense
governs it, but self-sufficient and
touch people are apt to show their in
dependence and self -sufficiency in an
offensive way-and suffer more than
they gain. They are the most I'M
comfortable people in the world. and
the class is amusingly caricatured be.
low by the Detroit Free Press.
Everybody who will stop to think
must admit that the gates at the rail
road depots are wise provision
One must show his ticket before he
can pass to the train, and it is not
once in thousand times that pas
senger can go astray. And yet it an
noys lots of people to be rallied of
and penned up and be obliged to ex
hiblt ticket.
Yesterday morning very digni
fed man, with grip-sack in his
hand, tried to walk through the gates
at the Central Depot. and when asked
for his ticket, he haughtily replied
1t is in my pocket"
Let me see it
Il will not. My word should be
proof that l have it,
Have to show your ticket, SIR
Il won't submit to any such in.
dignityw exclaimed the stern man
and he didn't. He entered the
freight sheds, passed through fioul
car. climbed over lot of hides and
crept under baggage-car, and final
ly thought he had reached the train
he was after. A brakesman stood al
the steps and asked
"Going West, sir?'
"No; going East"
Then your train won't go fol
three hours and half yet! This
train goes Vest
And the worst OF it all was. the mar
at the gate and a dozen others saw
him and raised such laugh that the
stern man went down into the freight
house and hid behind box car.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

DIR. Pierce's Pleasant Purgative Pellets
ar" sugar coated and ncosed in glass bottles,
their virtues bein, thereby preserved unim-
paired for any length Of time, i'll any climate
50 that they are always fresh and reliable. No
cheap wooden Or pasteboard boxes. By drug
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

As a tonic and ncrvinr for deblitatei women
nothing snrIstS,cs DR. Pierce's "Favorite Pre-
scription." BY druggists
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

To any general rule Of expected
conduct which one frames he soons
makes exceptions of most men-and
all women.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

The man who has Il large principal
~ the ban. sometimes shows 10 prin-
ciplr in any thing else.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

The successful grocers have generally started
business on a small scale.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

Kind word, are like bald heads; they can
never dye.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04
A COMMON sENsI VIEW.

Wn"l YOU SEQ "a me iicine advertised and
II Itier knI wv nor can ear ,nythIrg III
regard to Is reliability 1t is an easy matter
by putting youIset to little trouble Ia
ssc rt:un tho reputation and l-tandns # the
manufacturer. Find out who makes II
How do they stand 1T home: Are they truthful q!
Are they honest DO they pay their debts: Do
they know anything abouI medicine and its e.
fleets: II they are wanting IN any Of these it is
SAFER t" let their product al9ne;fo IN preparing
opportunity to chea pen and adultertte. and the
only guarantee We can have is the honesty of the
n ufacturer, and 1t does not look reasons ble
that the proprietor Of Ammen's Cough Syrup
would be Wiling let remedy bear his name
did lie not know it, wosth.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

Butler. the Bounccr," is the expressive
way in which a Boston PAPER alludes to the
Governor OF Massachusetts,
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04
POVERTY AND DISTRESS.

Nash county, y. c., boasts of a colorcd boy
seven feet high
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

sF'rhe Diamond Dyes always do more than
they claim t. do. Color over that old dress.
1t will look like new. Only 10 cents.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

Showers get the drop on man who is not
armed with an umbrella
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

A Chicago man started a business
III competition with the postoffice. He
delivered letters anywhere in the
city at cent apiece, and sold stamps
at even a lower rate by the thousand.
He did well until fine of $50. with
a promise of the same punishment
for every letter afterward carried,
closed his enterprise.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

It's better to be good and homely
than pretty and bad.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04
TOUCHING ANECDOTE OF A SPIDER.

MIR. Moggridge, in his studies in
natural history, had been in the habit
of immersing, for preservation, his
different specimens of spiders and
ants in bottles of alcohol. He saw
that they struggled for few minutes;
but he thought that sensation was
soon extinguished, and that they were
soon free from suffering. On one oc-
casion he wished to preserve large
female spider and twenty-four of her
young ones, that he had captured.
He put the mother into a bottle of al
cohol, and saw that after a few mo
ments she folded up her legs upon her
body, and was at rest. He then put
into the bottle the young ones, who,
of course, manifested great pain.
What was his surprise to see the
mother arouse herself from her leth-
argy, dart around and gather her
young ones to her bosom, fold her
legs around them, again relapse into
insensibility, until at last death came
to her relief, and the limbs. no longer
controlled by this maternal instinct.
released their grasp. The effect of
the exhibition of love is lesson to
our common humanity. He has never
since repeated the experiment, but
has applied chloroform before INNER
sion.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

OF all evils to the generous, shame
is the most deadly pang.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

Is unfailIng and Initial
liable in curing Epil
h eItic Fits. Spasuns
ConvulSiuns. ST. NItus
! Dance. Alcoholism.
Opium Eating. Ner
vOus drbiiity,S crOiulH
4 aud all Nervous anC
Blood diseases. To
4 Clergymcn, Lawyers
+ Literary men, Mc:.
d chants. Bankers. La
) dies and all u hose 50.
\ dcntary employment
= causes Merry Gus Pros
4 traiion. lrrcgU,arItie,
= of the blood. stomach
bowels or kIndeys. Oi
who require n Ecrv,
tonic, appetiser or
Stinulant. Samaritan
oNervineISln Invaluable
Thousands proclaim !
til. most wonderful IL
the sinking system. F.
pI;. =. \. RfCIIMON.
.i"tors. 81. Joseph. Mo
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

Carpets and furniture 20 per cent. cheaper
at ii. Shellhaas', llth ST.. Oakland.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

A Town Full or MONKEYS. Bellary.
India, must be a pleasant place to
live in for the small boy and all who
take an interest in the antics of the
monkey tribe The city. which has
over $4,000 Inhabitants. is So overrlln
! with monkeys, who attack women and
children carrying eatablcs, and throw
tiles off roofs. that the Municipal
Commissioners have Ordained that
they shall be removed to their native
jungles Provision is made that the
monkeys shall not be injured while
being captured, but shall be treated
tenderly. Some of them are held sa
cred. The monkeys, like the spar
rows, no doubt become nuisance.
but Il town where they are as common
as cats are in Philadelphia, must af
ford considerable entertainment to
strangers for few days.
MAKING A SURE Thine OF 1.-TWO
Irishmcn came to a guidepost on a
wide and desolatc plain. 1t was get
ting dusk. and the unfenced trails
were hardly distinguisl,able. Five
miles to Glenairlie. read one Of them,
putting his faceeclose to the board
But which av them goes to Glenair-
lie. sure" asked his companion,
looking obviously at the two trails.
After few moments meditative
silence. the first Irishman replied:
I'VE can try one NV thin, and then
the other But how will We find
the way back av we get lost"
Sure, we can take the boord along
wild us replied the first. And so the
two pilgrims lighted their pipes and
marched cheerfully away with the
guideboard between them.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04
High chairs ut low prices at II. Shellhaas'
11th ST., Oakland.

"A DE?ISIOSS Breakfast or Supper Dish
SDUSED SPICED PILCHARDS, i'll one
pound cans.
For sale at all Grocers and Wholesale of the
Red Cross Packing Co.. S.n Franc ECO.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

Sprll-bound Stuck on word at u spelling
match.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-05-04

The silly season" has arrived in
the colleges. At Dartmouth nearly
the whole senior class has been sus
pended for "horning"a Latin pro
fessor to express their Indignation
at his low marking of student who
was compelled to absent himself
from college in order to teach school.
In consequence of his low marking
the student WIS driven from college
and has gone elsewhere. At New
Haven two students have been de
tected in firing bullets promiscuously
into peoples houses from the window
of their room. The mathematical
professor scientifically traced the
course of the bullets from their place
of Judgment to the source of their
propulsion, and successfully forced
the students to confess. 4 collision
between the freshmen and sophomore
classes at the same college resulted
in row in the chapel and a riot out
of doors.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1883-05-18
pnrtical.
a SWEET OLD LEGEND.

Bring that low foot-stool from the corner, Ted
Mary and Jack, you cannot crowd too near;
While baby Bess will curl her pretty head
Against my heart that holds you all so dear
Now for the legend. Once, long years ago,
When i'll our world the blessed Lord was seen,
He walked one evening, tired, sad and slow
With his disciples through the meadows green.
Why was He sad? Dear child, cannot say
What burdens pressed upon His heart divine
Perhaps none had believed on Him that day;
Perhaps he thought upon your sins and mine.
Along the way the sweet neld-lilies grew
In white apparel. finer than kings,
Above His head a twitterng sparrow flew
(tle drew His sermons from these simple thngsD
Now, rs they lnurneyed, so the wise ones say,
Upon the path poor dead dog they spied.
One spurned him roughly with his foot away,
And what an ugly beast" another cried.
But in their Masters eyes compassion shone;
lie stopped and touched the creatures shaggy
head.
AT least. my dear disciples, you will own
His teeth are white rs any pearls He said.
Then they passed on. bears, is it strange to you
That mothers with their babes around Him
pressed
That Peter learned to be so good and true
And John leaned close upon His loving breast ?
Oh, would that I. with hair fast turning gray,
And you, my darlings leaning on my knee,
Could always think some gentle word to say
And in each life some pearl of goodness see!
Now run to bed And as you close your eyes,
With Gods fair stars like soft eyes watching you,
Make good resolves, and on the morrow rise
And bravcly work to make them all come true.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1883-05-18

sleep, never to wake up, the doctor said
they told me she wouldn't know me, that !
would disturb her. went in on my knees,
l crawled up to the bed and looked at her
dear saint, she was as white as the sheets, and
her pretty curls never stirred hair, and her
sN eet eyes closed, and | groaned in my heart,
for thought she was gone, and then she
opened her eyes and then came great strug-
gle for breath, and oh, my God, I'd have died
to help her, died twenty times to have saved
her, aud she just looked at me and put one
hand up-I fanced she was pointing up there
and she smiled on me and said all at once,
Joen and than she made her mother under
stand that she wanted something. 1t was the
little bank and she wanted me to have it, /
took it to humor her and thought how would
give it back to her when she got well, and
then she smiled again, and | listened to hear
her say, 'Joe'-and all was still You see |
could never go wrong now, but how did she
know about that little bank and my wicked
thoughts And she forgave and loved me- too,
pretty dear The smoke makes me cry.
There's our depot at the next station, and
we're running on schedule time, as you see,
gentlemen"