The new North-west., 1883-05-04
Mr.. AND mss. spooPENpYKE.
MIR. s. Initiates Mrs. 5. in the Mysteries of
Draw Poker.
BFoOkilin FaJie.


... Brooki8n Eagle.
"Now, my DEAR" said Mr.. Spoopenjyke,
shutting the cards and dividing the checkers
into two even piles; suppose we play little
game Of poker. Do you know how to play
poker?" .....'
81 guess so," replied Mrs. Spoopendyke,
hitching up her chair and dusting the top Of
the table with towel.
"Now, how many cards do you want ?"
"Let me Think" 1uttered Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. "Let's see. believe I'll take ten."
"Bet.er take grossp' snorted Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, cycling her wrathfully. perhaps
you'd like half barrel! Don't you know
you can't draw but FIVE? Ifyou've got any
bad cards, throw 'em away and I'll give you
more for 'em. If your cards are all good you
can stand pat. Do you want to stand pat ?"
81 guess So" sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke,
helplessly. "If stand pat, do l play the
eight or the queen?"
"You don't play either" replied Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, helping himself to five cards and
drawing couple of kings. "Now, its my
bet. l bet two; what do you bet?"
"Then bet two," answered Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, Frightening up as she began to see her
way clear. 81 bet queen and an eight"
and she laid them down with confidence.
"That calls my hand" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, g.eefully, "only you don't bet your
cards; you bet your checkers. Put in two
checkers and show your cards."
Mrs. Spoopendyke showed her checkers into
the middle of the table and laid down three
eights and pair of queens.
"Where'd you get 'em? roared Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, recognizing his defeat. "What'd
ye want to keep talking about the three Of
eights and the two Of queens? Why didn't
you tell me you had full hand?"
"You gave 'em to me-" returned Mrs.
Spoopendyke, dolefully. II only had those
FIVE. What does 1t do ?"
at makes q jack pot !" growled Mr.. SPoop.
endyke, seeing chance for himself in his
wife's utter ignorance of the game. Snow
we've each got to put in one checker, just
because you played in that way"
"l'm sorry, dear, cooed Mrs. Spoopendyke
rather pleased with the idea of getting ou'
of the scrape at any expense. "And yet
might have known 1t would have made 1t {
jack pop, if 1 had stopped to think"
"When you stop to think, you only want {
stick Of chewing gum and rat-trap to be I
female seminary. Do you know what q jaci
pot is? Got some kind of notion that 4
has three legs and is used TO cook mush in
haven't ye? Well, it isn't, and it isn't to s
there and grin at either ! 1t takes a pair o.
jacks or something as good as them to oper
it. Now, take these cards and tell mt
whether you open it or not"
Mrs. Spoopendgke examined her card
critically.
"What have you got ?" demanded Mr.
Spoopendyke.
His wife laid down four aces and jack.
Mr.. Spoopendyke glanced at the hand ant
then at his own cards. His ace was only tn
joker, which he had forgotten to remov
from the pack.
(which opens 1t ?" inquired Mrs. Spoopen
dyke, watching the gathering storm will
some trepidation.
"Nothing opens it !" yelled Mr.. Spoopen
dyke, dashing his cards to the floor. "Witl
your way of playing it, it would take steam
oyster-knife to open it.! How'd ys think
was opened-wlth night key? Got an ide
that 1t has hinges, haven't ye, and open
widest when it has nothing to say, like you
MOUTH"
"Must bet my last cent now?" faltere
Mrs. Spoopendyke, profoundly mpresse
with the idea that the game was still goin
on. .I've got four dollars, but I want on
for wlggin. Shall bet the other three ?"
"Bet 'em ?" bawled Mr.. Spoopendyke,w who
like great many men, regarded the idea Q
his wife beating him at anything as some
thing intolerably blasphemous. "Why don
you betP Bring forth the speculative thre
dollars and hazard it on the four triumphar
aces! Wah-h!" and the conclusion Of Nj
Spoopendyke's speech flew out Of HIM to
fast for perfect enunciation.
81 don't care" murmured Mrs. Spoopel
dyke, as she wound the clock, and stoo
scratching her nose with the key, "he tol
me that four aces we're as good as the JAG
pot, and when opened 1t he said WI
wrong. Another time I'll put them in m
pocket and he can play away at that jack pc
until he's bald before I'll help him get
OPEN" .... .....
And with this riotous determination, Mr.
Spoopendyke crawled into bed and dreamt
, that she had got caught in jack pot with
spring lock to 1t, and couldn't get out b
, cause she had left the four aces In the pock
of her new plumb-colored silk.