Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1883-01-24
REVOLUTION IN CARVING.
New Methods and their Advantag es-The
Education of q Carver.

Speaking about carving there is a pros
pect now that in our best. circles, within a
short time, the old custom of making the
host demolish the kiln-dried poultry at
dinner, will become extinct, and that
servant at side-board will take hand
saw and can of nitro glycerine and shat
ter the remains, thus giving the host
chance to chat with his guests instead of
scattering them with dressing and casting
gloom and gravy over the company.
This is move for which l have long
commended. 1t places the manual labor of
dinner where it belongs, and relieves
man who should give his whole attention
to the entertainment of his friends at
table. You would not expect your host
to take off his coat and kill the fowl in
your presence, in order to show you that
it was all on the square, and it is not Gus
tomary to require the proprietor to peel
the potatoes at table for his guests to
prove that there is'no put-up job about it.
Therefore claim that the lamented hen
table by an athlete at 81 per week, and
still good faith toward the guest be main
tanned. If any one be doubtful or sus
picious, etiquette will permit him to stand
by the side of the hireling carver and wit
ness the inquest. Still it would be better
fun for him to sit at the table, and if the
parts given him are not satisfactory, he
can put them in his overshoes pro tenn,
and casually throw them out the back
door while the other guests are listening
to the "Maiden's Prayer" in the parlor.
Under the new deal the host will enjoy
the dinner much more than he used to
with his thumb cut off and quart of
dressing IN his lap. No man feels perfect
ly at home if he has to wrap his cut finger
in rag and then scoop a handful of
dressing out of his vest pocket. Few men
are cool enough to do this laughing heart
lily all the time, and telling some mirth-
provoking anecdote meanwhile.
tits also annoying to have twenty guests
ask for the dark meat, please" when
there are only three animals cooked,
and neither one of them had particle of
dark meat about her person. Lately l
have adopted the plan Of segregating the
fowl by main strength, using the fingers
when necessary, and then wiping them in
an off hand manner on the table cloth.
Then ask the servant to bring in that
have an abundance of dark meat. If the
servant says there is none, smile and tell
the guests that the brunette chicken, by
some oversight, has been eaten in the
kitchen, and l shall have to give them
such relics as may be at hand. This sim
plifies the matter, and places me in a far
more agreeable place relative to the COM
pany. My great success, however, in
carving is mainly confined to the water
melon. The watermelon does not confuse
me. l always know where to find the
joints, and those who do not like the in
side of the melon can have the outside.
Now my great trouble with fowls is, that
one day l have Nebraska chicken, and the
next trip have to assassinate a Mormon
Shanghai puilct, with high, expressive hip
bones and amalgam paletot. This makes
me nervous, because they are SO dissim-
liar and their JOINTS are in different places.
The Mormon hen is roundshouldered,
and her collar bone is more on bias than
the Nebraska fowl. This gives totally
different expression to her features in
death. and, as have said, destroys the