Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-05-17
HUMOROUS.

"A man OF pluck-A plckpOcket.-
Burlington Free Press.
Marriage is a lottery, but We have
not heard that love letters are denied
the privilege of the mails.
An Old Song Revised
What is ship without sail?
| Adieli, my lover, adieu.
What is a monkey without a tail?
A dude, my lover, dude.
-"SIlchers 4iunt."
-'.Unspotted from the world is the
| title of a new book. 1t is evidently the
| history Of the career of Il defaulting
cashier who has never been caught
N. y Journ0'.
The first passenger train passed
over the Pemigewasset Railroad short
| time since. If that word should ever
oct upon the track there will be a fear
full smash-up. -!S0meryilie journal.
A Young man, while out hunting
for his fathers pig. accosted an Irish
man as follows: '.Havc YOU seen a stray
pig about here?'' Pat Responded:
:.Faix, how could l tell stray pig
from any other?''
They are not very fashionable out
on the Western frontier, but they know
how to lead the german. The other
day some vigilants put rope around a
German horse thicf's neck and led him
to n trec-Hariem Times.
Teacher. Well. how stupid you
are, to be sure, Can't multiply eighty
eight by twenty-five! I'll wager that
Charles can ito it in less than no time.
Absurd pupil shouldn't be sur
prised They say fools multiply very
rapidly these days
The editor of the Breckenridge
(Kv.) News says he put the poem of
The Beautiful Snow in type in the
fall of 1852, when Faxon, Of the Buffalo
Commercial, first wrote it. Thus the
dogs Of The Beautiful-Snow war are let
loose again.-DetroI Post.
: Heard in the great West: Is that
the Bic Bonanza mine over there?"
Yes" And did that big pile of ore
come from it?'' YES" ''All right, l
will stake out a claim right here, 60
back East and form company" "But
there is no ore in this part of the dis
trict, YOU know?'' "Never mind about
that l can say there is plenty of ore in
sight. -PAi'ale 'phia NeWs
"A man who bought badly-fitting
suit that was much too large for him,
was constantly taken to task by his
good wife for his folly. One evening
as their little daughter was retiring,
they were much surprised to Overhear
the following conclusion of her evening
prayer: please, God, make pa over
again, so as his clothes II fit him, and
then ma won't nag ut him no more''--
Rural Ne,D Yorker.
IL wish you would have the pegs
properly taken from these shoes said
Chicago girl to shoe dealer, from
whom she had purchased pair the day
before, they hurt me so / can not wear
them Certainly, Miss" was the
obliging answer, but / am afraid you
will have to wait day or two" '.Wht
so?" swell, we already have job Of
the same kind at the foundry, and the
steam peg scraper is not in very good
working order. ST. Louis Republican.
"A you say that you are inno-
cent of the charge of stealing a rooster
from Mr.. Jones?" asked an Arkansas
Judge of meek prisoner. Yes, sir,
l am innocent-as innocent as child
''You are confident that you did not
steal the rooster from Mr.. Jones?"
"Yes, sir. and / can prove it. can
prove that l. didn't steal Mr.. Jones'
rooster, Judge, because / stole two hens
from Mr.. Garston the same night, and
Jones lives five miles from GarStOn' g."
1.-THE proof Ia conclusive" said thu
judge discharge the prisoner"