The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-10
Ills Pa Plays Jokes
t'r,k> Sun.


 of the grocery man. as he come n with his sunday suit on. and bouquet ,a h,. buuon-hoie. and ptied ofi couple oi hgs from ncw bax that had been just opened.
 .' No. sir." said the groccryman. as he licked oti the syrup tha, dnppcd from d quart measure. from which he had been hliing Jug. hold tha, man ,ha, gets rnad at a practical Joke. that Is, one that does not ,niure him. IS a tool. and he ought to be summed by all decent people. That's asee bouquet you have m your coat. What IS ii. pan>,c.y Ie, me smell of t. and the groeery man bent over in iron, of the boy to tade ~hiff at the bouquet A he dtd so a stream of water saot out ot the ,nnoccn, looking bouquet and struch him full n the taee. ana run down over his shlr;. and the grocery man yelled murder. and tell over a barrel of axe helscs and seythc sna,hs. and then sroped around io towel to wipe his face.
 You condum skunk. sad the grocery man to the boy. as he took up an axe heive and started for him. what kiad ot < eolblas,ed squirt gun tou ga, theic. ~ili maui you hy thunder. and he rolled up has sh,u sleeves
 There. keep your temper. took ,es, vote ot you on the subject ot ptacii- ral lokes. before the machine began to play upon the tonfiagration tha, Was rag ing on youI whisky nose. and you sad A man that would get mad al joke was A teel. and now l know H. Here. lei me show II to you. There is rubber hose runs from the bouquet. inside my ccat to my pants poe ket. and thcfe IS a bulb of rubber that holds about halt a pint, and when teller smells of the posy, squeeze the bulb, and you see the re .ult It's iun. where you don't squ,n |, on person that gets mad"
 The grocery maa said he would g,vc the boy hAlf pound oi hgs Il he would lend the bouquc, to him for half an hour to play |, on customer. and the bo, t>cd il oH the grocery man, ana turned the nozzle SO |, would squ,u right back into the grocery man $ face. He tried Il on the his, customer that come m, and got II right ln hls own face. and then the bulb m his pants po' kc; go, to leaking and the rest al the water run down the grocery mans uoosct's leg. and he gave II up ln disgust. and handed Il back to the boy. How ~As Il that your pa had |, be anned home iiom the soClahlc ln hack the other n,sht. asked the gfo, cry man A ne stood close to the s,ese so ht, pants leg would dry. !" He has not go, to drinking agarn. has he =
 70. no. sad the boy. as he hlled the bulb ~ih vinegar, to pfaeIee on his al ia ks.s nto the trouble You sec got pa to ,tneIl of t. and jus, hlled hlm chuck iuil of water He go, mad and sAlled me all kinds ot names, and sad vas no good an earth. and l would fetch up m state $ prison. and then he wanted ta bor. row it ,o wear 10 the socIabie. He sad he would have more fun than you could shake stick 2t. and asked hin fl he didat think he would fetch up in staie's prison, and he said vas different with d man. He sad when man played a lokc there was certain dignity about Il tha, was lacking in boy. So lent Il ,o hin. and ve all went 10 the 90, table m .he basemen, of the church. 1 never see pa more kiitcny than he was tbA, night He filled the bulb with ire water, and the tlrs, one he go, ,o smell of his button-hole bouquet vas an old mad sho thinks pa Is a heather. but she likcs ,o be made something of by anybody that ~ears pants. and when pa sidled up ,e her and began talking about what a great york the Christian wimmen oi the land were doing n edue Aiing the hea,hen. she feli real good and then she noiie ed pa posy in his bu,ton-heie and she touched It. and then fras he'd over her beak 70 smell of |. pa hr squeezed ,he bulb. and about halt ,eA-eup fuI oi water s'rlck her u2ht in the nose. and so,ae ;,i II vent mo her sirang.e place. and. ~. sfy. didn she yell Inc sIsteSs gathered around her. and they sand her face was all perspir aiion. and the pam, ~As coming of. and they took her m the kitchen. and she told them pa had slap ped her xtth dish of ice cream. and the simmen told the munster and ,he deA- cons. and they ent to pa for esplans- non. and pa told them il was not so. and the minister got intesested and 70, neaf pa. and pa let the wafer go al him. and hlt him on the eye. and then deacon go, dose. and pa laughed, and then the minister. who used to go to college and be hAter. and box. he goi mad and squared of and La pa three times ngh, by ,he eye. and one of the desoons he kicked pa. and pa got mad ~sd sad ks could ciezn oaa .he whole shebang. and began ,o pull off his coat. when they bundled him out doors. and ma gos mad 70 see ps abused. and she ief, the soeiz- ble. and had to stay and eat ice cream and things for the ~hoIe family. Pa says that settles i; ~ith him. lie says they haven't gos any more Christian charity in that church than they have got in a tannery. His eyes was just getting over being black from the sparring les sons, and no~ he has got to 20 through the oysters and beef-sseak cure again. He says is IS all owing 10 me-"
 Well, what has all this to do xith your putting up signs in front of my store Rotten eggs and 'Frowsy Butter a spe- cial,y, said the grocery man as he took i,he boy by the ear and pulled hirn around