Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-10-31
Wednesday WaEgeries.

Learn to pray" said dying merchant to his
sons; but, boys, don't trust"
minister who had passed around the hat I'M
successfully at country church. said: ''My
good people, hog cholera has broken out in this
nc!ghborhOod and advise you all to leave the
country"
Judge not: that We be not judged" is rem
dered in the Afghan Testament. .Do not do
justice, lest justice be done to YOU
How do you like the squash pie Alfredo"
asked young wife of her husband, few days
after marriage. well. it is pretty good but
it isn't as good as that which your mother
makes" "Well. yes did intend to say that,
but well. Alfred, your mother made that
very pie and sent it to me"
succession of direful shrieks is heard on the
first CO0r Fond mother: ..What is the matter
with :Hllys'' ..Oolorad servant: please. ma am
ne Is crying about the jewberries" ''He can't
have any more. He has had four saucerfuls al
ready Dem is de berry ones he is whOOping
about. He's all swOlled up"
500 birds Think asks writer in opening a
current article. If they do we would like to
woman who stands up in chair and talks
baby" through the brass wires of it's cage
ROchland { 'zOtte.
suspicious" said the boy of his chum: MAR
TIN Trips the most suspicious boy ever saw
Why, sc won't believe what he reads in a dime
novel Boston Post.
They used to say, ''spare the rod and spoil the
child" Nowadays it is a well recognized fact
that even forty rods make one rood.
"Ilf time, Miss" said stern aunt. 'the
men looked at the wOmen's faces instead of
their tnkles.'' "Ah. but, my dear aunt" re-
tortec the pretty young lady. ''you see that the
worl~ has improved and is more civilized than
it USED to bet looks more now to the under
standing"
The editor in Paris, like the physician in the
world generally has no standing In society until
he has killed his man.
De clearness of mans eye doan alters come
from his soul. De hawk has got a mighty keen
Trau. p.
Zig sled@c dogs buy wife in Siberia One
puppy will often get one here.
~ notice. said Brown, who is bird fancier.
that ravens have been successfully used instead
OF carrier pigeons at CObentz on the Rhine"
ION, that is nothing" said Smith. "Sparrows
nave been successfully used instead of reed
birds i'll Philadelphia restaurants.-Philadelp
Cal.
Kew. De Witt Talmage will make the greatest
effort OF his life in reply to ngersoll at the Tre-
mont Temple next Tuesday evening 1t intelli-
gent people. generally, were driven up to
choice between Talmage and Ingersol thew
would probably take to the woods.-Boston
Transcript.
1t Is not easy to be widow; one must reas-
sumo all the modesty of girhoOd without being
allowed even to feign it's ignorance.
Miss Upper-Ten. an ultra fashionable Young
lady, was called to be with sister who was
dangerously i'll in a western city.
What can she do for any one i'll and perbans
dy!n@!" inquired neighborng acquaintance
who had heard of her departure
she might give information as to which side
they'll be most likely to wear harps on this sea-
son, said one of the company. dryly.
mirror and exclaims: Il used to be thought
nce-lOOking fellow; but what am / good for
now" 81 don't know, replies his sympathetic
friend, ''unless you can be utilized asa thimble."
Boston Transcript.
DR.. Magee is a very enthusiastic advocate of
temperance. and some little tin ago he sue
ceeded in inducing worthy but not very abste-
mOus Hibernian laborer to take the pledge.
Shortly afterward the bishop met his convert. to
ms dlsmay; in condition Of advanced intoxi-
cation How Is this. Pat?" asked the panied
bishop. Il thought that you were teetotaler."
$50 am, your reverence" answered the nm
aDashed one-.'so am teetotaler, but I'm not
bigOted one"
"No, indeed; there's no place like home"
sighed the married man who trimmed over the
cOal-scuttle and fell into washtub while fnmh-
fire.
"YOu ought to put sign over that hatch
way" said policeman to a storekeeper. ssor
some some. one will be tumbling into it, cali right"
replied the merchant, and he tied one of his
Fall Opening placards to the railing.
Madame reprOaches Monsieur because at FORTY
he is neither deputy nor city councillor.
But, my dear, at forty man Is still very
young. 1t takes time -"
What! at your age Alexander the Great had
been dead six years."
Rather CHASTITY joke was perpetrated at Gov,
hutier 8 expense at the Boston exhibition last
week, when some one removed a large notice