davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-04-05

SEEING A MAN HoME.-I picked
Simmons up pretty near dead drunk,
and took him home. When / got to
his house, as thought, | shock him
a bit and and said, Here you are"
Right" said he, and he gave a
big bang at the knocker. Up went
a window. who's there 2" screamed
a woman; II have brought the old
man home" said |. "AlI right" she
cried, and came to the door. She
Immediately seized hold Of Simmons,
and gave him such shaking that his
teeth seemed to rattle in his head.
Who are you shaking OFF" says he.
Goodness gracious, cried the wo-
man, that is not my husband voice."
| struck match and she found she
had been shaking the wrong man.
There, cried the woman furIonsly,
I've been sitting up here expecting
my husband home drunk, and now
I've wasted my strength on a stran-
ger" Don't he live here p asked.
NO" said the woman, "he don't"
What made you knock p said l to
Simmons. Knock" said be, you
told me to. II thought you lived
here" said !. Glad [ don't said
he. / supposed he was thinking of
the shaking he d had. At last found
where be did live, and got him home.
Mrs. Simmons was sitting up for him.
As soon as ever we Knocked, out she
came. "Oh, says she, you are the
wretch as makes my poor husband
drunk, are your aud she caught me
a slap across the face. I've have new
er seen a drunken man home since.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-04-05

CURIOUS EPITAPHs.--An article in
the February number of Macmillan,
entitled "Churchyard Poetry con-
tains several curious epitaphs colIec-
ted by Mr.. Harrison. On a tomb
stone in the Isle Of Wight Is inscrib-
ed:
To the memory Of Miss Martha Grim,
She was 20 very pure within
She cracked the shell Of Der earthly skin
And hatched herself a cIierubim.
A Mr.. Charles Lamb, not Ella,
sleeps beneath the words:
Here lies the body Of poor Charles Lamb,
Killed by tree that fell slap bang.
A churchyard near Bury st. Ed
munds has the following cOuplet:
Here lies the body Of Deborah Dent.
She kicked up her heels and away she went.
Deyohshire supplies another equal
ly good +:
Here lies John Meadow,
Who passed away ike q shadow.
n. B.-His name was Field, but il would
not rhyme.
The force Of advertising. as Mr..
Harrison says, could no further 60
than here:
Here hes the landlord Of the Lion,
He's buried he.e IN hopes u Zi0n:
Has wife, resigned 10 Heavens viii,
Carries 0n the business still.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-04-05
tFsr fhs Bsaeon.l j
In Memsriam.
Beneafk fkis sodded Gnd uaersn Qyssnd
Liss sso ssnasnsa q carried dreusssa.

One was called ''sweIled-head,v
To our recollection;
Aud the other wen style nbig head. =
~ there be no objection.
Swelled-head vent 70 Calvert,
Good manners 10 learu,
But before he reached there,
Cock college was burned.
he siArred from thence.
With manners sfiil rude,
To that my ythieai place
Called horse-latitude,
And unused 70 The climate,
Or the tricks o. the masses,
Before Re WIS aware.
BE MAS kicked by the ASSES.
He bathed his head in vinegar
To carry away the scars,
And next be thought Of going
To either Jupiter or Mars.
But Of a versatile nature,
Which was hard TO control,
lie decided TO SAL
To the devils punch bowl.
Where his yirereRee, 81. Pathriek,
BaDished the frogs
From fair Emerald's Isle.
Like the jews did lhe hogs.
Now tired OF roaniug,
And growing quite weak,
lie concluded 10 return
To his native Budd's 8 Crsek,
Wien that ''big headed" Postmaster,
OF the crossroads fame,
Excited his ine
By overlooking his name.
But, il this were The c1,se,
There Was no bad intent,
Though the whole pack Of Beacons
To Canada went.
Yet, for this slight offence,
II Was clear 10 be sesn,
That ''big head would be turned
To huge mud macsnne,
And 20 dredge the Potomac
From channel to shOFe
Fer the I,smocralie flagship
In the coming eighty-Ionr.
When Butter, ifelecIed,
Would do The thing just fair
And give swelled-head AN Office
10 clean his silver ware.
But rs Il looked quite certain
That Deiu0crae, would ftil,
Swelled head left for Limbo
hen the Betsy Jane set sail,
Aud on his outward voyage
Snake 'sland did appear,
So he thought that he would call to see
The beauties that were ihere.
The water snakes were numerous,
And ananY other ills,
Bui all were c0nntefbalanced
By those sweet esthetie bells.
AlEsrt from this, no more was heard
al near the earth's equator
When he was swallowed up, It's said,
BY TOrtugas Alligator;
And as for old friend big head,
Our friend Of years ago,
Al lasl accounts hewas buried deep
In the mash 1t Chaplico.
Thus ends their painful history,
hich viii ne again be given,
And where they are no tongue can tell.
Yet we trust they are both in heaven.
kEoUIEscGSF IL PACE.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-04-05
SUN MUTUAL AID SOCIETY,

Ne.sI n. Holiday ST.. OPp'st city zEaII,
p. o. Box 655. BALTIMORE, Nd.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-04-05

@ A correspondent from the far
away State OF Colorado. writes: "An
old Indian az this agency remarked
when hs tasted New Life, the Great
Cough Remedy. for the first time
'Ughl big medicine I After it had
cured him Of asthma be said /: ugh
heap much big medicinel" This Is the
general verdict. Its action In throat
aud lung troubles, i little short ofmar-
velous.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-04-05

s9- ia mel sighed Mrs. Part
ington, "here / have been suffering
the bigamiss Of death for three whole
mortal weeks. First / was seized
with bleeding phrenOlogy in the
left hampshire Of the brain, which was
exceeded by q stoppag. Of the left
ventilator Of the heart. This gave me
an Inflammation in the borax, and
now / am sick sith the chloroform
morbus. There Is no blessing like
that Of health, particularly when you
are sick"
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-04-05
FOR STATES ATTORNEY.

MessFs Editors-Please Announce Mr.. DAN
lei. C. HANNETT as n candidate for re-
election as States Attorney At the ensuing
election. snd say that he will 'hg warmly sup
ported BY his friends and the people general
III.
Jan 1, 1888 MANY vOrERs.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-04-05

- Samuel james. Carrollton, says:
Browns Iron Bltters has greatly re-
lieved ne when suffering from dys-
pepsia."
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-04-05

Messrs .Edltorr- PleaspannounceM Mr. JAS
II ALVEY, as 4 Republican candidate lor III
next Sheriaalty and SAY that be will relieve
the cordial sappors Of
Nov. a. 1851 TIE PE0PLE
National Republican., 1883-07-28
GEN. oRD's RECORD.
The Official Order From the War De-
partmcnt i'm Regard to the Old War
riOr's Death.

The Official Order From the War De-
partmcnt i'm Regard to the Old War
rior's Death.
The following general order was issued from
the headquarters of the army yesterday:
With profound sorrow the general of the
army announces the death at Havana, Cuba,
at o'clock on the evening of the twenty
second instant, of Mai. Gen. Edward o. c.
Ord, retired, and lately brigadier general and
brevet maj jor general on the active list.
Gen. Ord was graduated at the military
academy and appointed second lieutenant in
the Sd artillery July l, 1889. Having passed
through the several grades to include that of
lieutenant colonel in the artillery arm, he re-
ceived his appointment as brigadier general
of the permanent establishment ON the
twcnty-sixth of July, 1866. He had, on tho
fourteenth of September, 1861, for service in
war, been appointed brigadier general of vol
unteers, and ON the second of May, 1862
major general of volunteers. He was mus
tered out of the volunteer service Sept. l. 1866
For gallant services in action at Dranes-
vile, Va; Tuka, Miss; the Hatchie, Miss
and at the assault of Fort Harrison, Va, he
received ,uCcesslvely the brevets of lieu
tenant colonel, colonel, brigadier general
and mgjor general, United States army. He
served in the Florida war against the Semi
mole Indians; on the Pacific coast in the war
the same coast.
In the army of the Potomac he was
brigade and division commander; in the army
of the Tennessee he commanded the left wing
from August to September 1862, and subse-
quently he commanded successiyely the 18th,
Sth, 18th, and oath corps, and the army of the
James. He was severely wounded in the
battle of the Hatchie, Miss, and was wounded
in the assault and capture of Fort Harrison,
| Virginia.
Since the late war he has at different times
commanded the departments of Virginia, the
Ohio, Arkansas, California, the Platte, Texas,
and the fourth military district
He was retired on tho sixth day of Decem-
ber, 1880, and by act of congress approved
Feb. %, 1881, ho became q major general on
the retired list, Retirement did not close his
active life, fOr Immediately thereafter he en-
gagged in civil pursuits and continued there
in until death suddenly came upon him.
Distinguished among his country's dc =
Tenders, Gen, Ord was soldier of national
repute Through his long military service,
reaching towards half a century, his career
has been marked by faithful, devoted and
intelligent discharge Of duty, by personal
gallantry, by honest administration, and by
a frmness which was not weakened by his
great kindness of heart, AS his intimate as
sociate since boyhood, the general here bears
testimony of him that more unselhsh, manly,
| and patriotic person never lived.
National Republican., 1883-07-28
NoRrnwEsTERN RIVERS.
Report OF the Engineer on the Improv
ments In the Missouri and YelIO

report OF the Engineer OH the Improve
ments In the Missouri and Yellow
Stone.
Captain OF Engineers James b. Quinn has
just made his annual report of the work done
during the last fiscal year in improving the
Missouri river from Sioux City, Iowa, to
Fort Benton, Montana, and tho Yellowstone
river, in Montana and Dakota. On the Mis-
souri, river nothing was done below Bismarck,
the active operations being limited to the i'm
provoment of tho portion above that place and
below Fort Benton. Tho object of the work
was to secure a sufficiently deep and unob-
structed channel through the difficult reaches
to accommodate the existing commerce, and
in its progress obtruding rocks have been re-
moved and wing dams constructed. Tho opera
tions had proved very satisfactory to steamboat
men, and still other results arc expected to
follow % continuation Of the work. Pcrma-
nence of the improvements already made is
guaranteed by the character of the river bed,
but below the present field Of operations the
banks lack stability and lasting improve
ments cannot bo expected. Light, temporary
constructions are therefore recommended for
that part of the river. Much difficulty has
been experienced in procuring labor and fur
nishing supplies and machinery, giving rise
to frequent aud long delays and some hard
ships.
Captain Quinn urges that ample appropria-
tions be made for the improvement of the
Missouri river, which is nnvigable for 1000
miles between Sioux City and Fort Benton.
He states that thirty-two million pounds of
freight were shipped by steamboat above Bis
marck during the past year. although the i'm
provements had scarcely begun, and says that
the possibilities of the Missouri River valley
when the channel is suitably improved hardly
admits of speculative exaRgeration. The re-
port sets forth the difficulties attending the
construction of enduring improvements on
the lower river, and recommends system of
following up the channel little by little, and
a holding on to ali that can be gained" Dur
ing the past year S37,919 was expended, and
S395,O0O is asked for continuation Of the
work.
On the Yellowstone river tho improve
ments were confined to tho vicinity of Glen
dine, Montana, and consisted in building
dams, to close chutes, and csnfne the water
to the main channel. The resulting scour
has caused material deepening of water
upon the hitherto difficult shoals 1t is al
legged that similar works below Glendine
would give short river haul to Fort Buford.
instead of 300 miles Of upstream haul upon
difficult river as at present. 1t is believed
that 100000 can be proftably expended in a
continuation of this work during the next
fiscal year. During the past year S16,SS6 was
expended.
National Republican., 1883-07-28

MAJOR POWELL has submitted his estimates
of work to be done by the geological survey
for the present fiscal year, and his plan has
met the approval of the secretary of the in
terror. Considerable opposition was mani
tested in congress to the extension of the
survey from the public lands in the terri
tories so as to include surveys of the states
The appropriation made in the sundry civil
bill of the last congress appropriated money
for the survey in the territories, and author
lied the preparation of a geological map of
the United States OF course, to carry out
this provision it will be necessary to make
an examination of the geology of all the
states The plan of work for the present
year includes an examination of the mineral
resources of Alabama, Mississippi, Virginia,
West Virginia, Minnesota, Michigan, Mis-
souri,, California, and Colorado.
National Republican., 1883-07-28

A CORRESPONDENT asks if there are any
laws in the District of Columbia regulating
the practice of medicine, and if certain classes
are prohibited from practicing that science
here. The only laws on that subject here is
that man or woman who wishes to practice
medicine here must first acquire, through
the medium of legally established college,
the skill and knowledge considered necessary
to obtain diploma of NJ. d. This being done,
he or she (without regard to color or race)
can legally practice medicine in the district.
National Republican., 1883-07-28
Southern "AIang."

Tho Nashville american, in its issue Of the
2lth inst, has a very readable and instructive
article on the great advancement in indus
tries agriculture, &C., which has been made
in the southern states within tho last few
years. The editor, no doubt with a view to
attract attention to his article, and perhaps
TO excite the eenyy of the secretary of the Ten
nessee Press association, has headed the arti-
Gle. "The Elan of Southern Industry" Our
first impression in glancing at the heading
was that the brilliant editor had written, in
stead of elan, tho word era, but in reading
through the article we found the word elan
frequently repeated, The word not being "a
familiar one, recourse was had to Webster's
unabridged, and in the appendix to that val-
liable work we found the word with its
meaning given. 1t is as follows Elan
pronounced alang), from tho French of
'eancer,' to dart or hurl. % Ardor,
zeal inspired by passion, or enthusiasm, bril-.
iancy and glow, resulting from imagination or
emotional excitement" We always read with
great interest and pleasure any accounts of
improvements and progress in tho south,a sec
tlon which has all the natural advantages for
great wealth and prosperity, but we would
steady, reliable, fixed, and based on solid
National Republican., 1883-07-28
Yellow Fever.

Secretary Folger has directed that the hos
pital barge Seldenand, the British steamer
Andean now anchored at Willoughby Cove
and Thimble Lights Hampton Roads, re-
spectively, be removed to Lynn Haven bay,
which is just inside of Cape Henry. This ac-
tion was taken at the request of the authori-
ties at Norfolk, Portsmouth, Fortress Mon
roe, and Ocean View, who represented that
the present stations endangered the health
of those places. The conference will be held
this afternoon, and will be attended by Sur
geon General Hamilton, Health Officer Town
end, of Washington, Health Commissioner
Benson, of Baltimore, the mayor of Ports
mouth, Va, health officers of Richmond and
Norfolk, collector of customs of Norfolk and
Newport News, health commissioner of New
port News, and Assistant Surgeon Glennon,
of the marine hospital service.
National Republican., 1883-07-28
URANCB OFFICES.

The following Is II list Of the branch offices In
Washington. Others will be added hereafter
VS. Rousr's News Stands ut the ARLINGToN
HorEt MmLARD's IorEi, aud METROPOLITAN
HoTEf-
RoosE & orErS's News stand, NATIONAL HOTEL
P,F. QUEEN, ST. JAMES liorEL-
RiGGs HOUSE News stand,
EBBITr HousE News Stand.
AMERICAN House. News stand.
VS.. THOMrsoSs Drug Store.
en- FiCKLNGs Drug Store, Georgetown.
!BRADLEY ApAMs'S Book Stores.
CIR. DuFouR, Druggist, 1918 Fourteenth street.
RIB. FERGUSON, Druggist corner Second and
Pennsylvania avenue 5. L.
s. T. LEWIS, Druggist, corner Fourteenth and
streets.
&C c. sIwMs. Druggist. corner Fourteenth and
New York avenue.
W. F. SCALA, Druggist, 800 East Capitol street.
H.A JOHNSTON druggist, corner Tenth and o
trCets northwest.
S. sLATER's Cigar Store, corner II and First
streets northwest.
National Republican., 1883-07-28

If Thomas jefferson could have had the
tariff plank Of the I.ynchburg convention for
model, what ringing old document the
Just think of him tackling old King George
after this fashion, ave arc in favor of lib
erty, limited to the necessities of a people not
inclined to be eXacting in the matter, and so
adjusted in its application as to prevent peo-
pie from becoming too free, encourage due
hilarlty At home, and afford a just opportu-
nifty for people odo as they please, but not to
create or foster monopoly of the freedom
bnsiness.u
National Republican., 1883-07-28
OpeninG OF a Venezuela RNlIroud.

Under date of the 2sth ultimo, the minister
of the United States to Venezuela, Mr., Jehu
Baker, has reported to the department of
State the successful opening of the railway
from La Guayre to Caracas, The first train
was brought through from tho former to the
latter place, the 27th at 4;15 p. IN. Besides
the president Of the republic, and various
government officials several thousand people
witnessed the spectacle, which was u novel
and interesting sight TO many Of the number
who had never before seen railway train.
The national flags of Venezuela, the United
States, and Great Britain were displayed from
the depot and aoatod from the engine draw
ing the train. Tho road is about twenty
three miles in length and affords many grand
and beautiful views of the sea and mountain
along its course. Although the road is not
yet complete in all its appointments, I'm
every substantial sense" observes Mr.. Baker,
tho enterprise is to be regarded as fact ac-
ComDlished,
National Republican., 1883-07-28
Arrangements and Reereat,onr.

are advertised:
Drivers Summer Garden-The fancy blcycllsts
the great Elwood, Madam Angela, and other at.
fractions.
Abner's Summer Garden-The Arion quartette,
Miss NJ. Medini soprano, aud Prof. Chr Arth's or.
chestra.
Mount Vernon-steAmer W. w. Corcoran leaves
at 10 o'clock a. IN.
Norfolk, Fortress Monroe and Point Lookout
Jane Moseley and the Lady Of the Lake leave at
$50 p, IN.
Norfolk-Steamers Excelsior and George Leary.
Potomac river landiugs-steamer Thompson
leaves at o'clock n. m.
Athletic Park-Blse ball game between the
this city.
observation-disclosures Thompson will run as a
cheap ferry tomorrow, a.
way.
Lower Cedar Pont-steamer Armenia leaves at
10 q. m. tomorrow.
National Republican., 1883-07-28

The democrats of Virginia and Ohio have
singular and exact way of stating their
views and wishes that must delight and as
tonsh the business world. The tariff section
of their platform is the embodiment of all
guage In ordering their summer suits OF
their taiors they simply say; 1--WE favor
clothes for comfort, limited to tho necessities
of our finances, economically administered
and so adjusted in their application as to
prevent unequal burdens, encourage produc-
tive interests at home, aud afford just COM
ponsation TO tailors but not to create or foster
monopoly of the clothes business" Same
order for winter suit,
National Republican., 1883-07-28


Eugene Mack, very old gunner in the
navy, died at Somerville ON the twenty-ffth
instant.
The resignation of Cadet Frank Il, Vogle-
song, fourth class United States military
academy, has been accepted to take effect
July 81, 1883.
Leave of absence for one month on sur
geon's certificate of disability is granted
Capt Daingerfeld Parker, Sd infantry, re-
cruiting officer.
The War department is informed that the
body of the late Gen. e. o. G. Ord has been
om6almed and will remain in Cuba until
autumn, when it will be brought here,
So much of special orders, No. 167 April
II, 1865, War department, adjutant generals
office, as discharged Chaplain Lemuel Short
ridge, 13Oth Indiana volunteers, has been
amended to omit the words from wounds
received in action" TO correct the record,
A general order was issued from the War
department yesterday in honor of the mem.
ory OF the late Gen. Ord. In tho order Gen
sherman bears testimony that as an init
mate associate with him since boyhood, a
more unseltsh, manly, and patriotic person
never lived"
Comdr, NJ. l.. Johnson and Chief Engineer
D. b. Macomb have been detached from spe-
cial duty at the Portsmouth, n. H., navy
yard and placed on waiting orders; Pay
master G. p. Thompson from duty in the bu-
reau of provisions, &C., and placed ON waiting
orders; Surgeon Daniel McMurtrie from the
receiving ship Franklin and placed on sick
leave.
Col. o. NJ, Poe, corps Of engineers, at pres
ent on duty at the War department as aide-de.
camp TO Gen, sherman, was yesterday ordered
to succeed the late Maj. Francis U. Farquhar
in charge of tho harbor improvements al
Detroit Col Poe will however continue tC
serve, in addition to his new duties, on the
staff of the general of the army until the re.
tirement of Gen. Sherman.
National Republican., 1883-07-28
Cholera tn Mexico.

The American newspaper published in the
City of Mexico, called The THO Republics, has
announced the appearance of cholera at the
town of San Dioneses del Mlr, in the state of
Oaxaca The paper contents itself with the
mere announcement without entering into
details. 1t is known that cholera morbus and
other types of kindred disease are not uncom-
mon in that locality, and it may be hoped
that the cases mentioned are of this type, and
not Asiatic cholera. If, however, it should
prove to be the genuine cholera, which is now
so prevalent and destroying SO many lives in
the east, it gives the people of this country
warning of the danger of its importation from
an unexpected quarter. The larger towns of
Mexico being now connected by rail with this
country, if the cholera really exists in Oaxaca,
we are in great danger Of having its germs
planted here in short time. 1t is of i'm
portance that the matter receive early atten-
tion from tho boards ofhealth aud officials en-
trusted with such matters.
National Republican., 1883-07-28

THE government has claim against Mr.
Hesing, of Chicago for some matter con-
noctod with what is known as the "whisky
ring" Mr., Hesing was bondsman for some
Of the parties, and Judgment was taken
against him for their default. Mr.. Hesing
has offered TO pay the government a certain
sum as a compromise, but one of his enemies
offers to purchase the claim for greater
sum. 1t will be remembered that when Col.
Tom Ochiltree some time ago offered to pay II
certain sum to the government in compro-
mise of Judgment against him for default
on the part Of one Of his deputies an offer
National Republican., 1883-07-28

On the question of the doctrine of per-
petual allegiance, as held by Russia, which
THE REPUBLICAN has heretofore discussed,
the Galveston NepS says: Russia docs
not admit the right of her subjects to OK
patriate themselves. Mr.. Frelinghuyscn, in
answer to a recent inquiry, stated in effect
that passport would not altogether protect
q naturalized citizen returning to Russia. A
treaty is needed, it appears. Russia claims
to be friendly with the United States. Let
the government push such alleged friendship
near to justice"