The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1877-1885, 1883-04-18
Fort.e ,. ! NJ nousel.ola.

appoint me. Sif tld'm tb Lttt>~ =
based solely on tie advantage have
over other members of the House. II.
Iy- bland elevation from y b, uve | can
oRerlook the chariot Of Rctorm and
have leisure now and then 10 put i
,iokc in it. wheel = The salary j not
tnshe considered; | would in truth.
nuch prefer declining the usual COM
pen >ation for good counsel. and content
me with the mere delight ~ the occu-
patton Pending your decision in re-
gard 10 this modest offer ! bee leave
to present the following petition: Viii
"-If~>iv' kindly Withdraw her motion to
o. tta ~ nonsense. lest ! be force 10
bear il COMPANY; for truth 70 tell. it /,
the major portion Of my stock in
trade and one of my most efficient
heir 10. Besidt ;. think | can prove
mat nonsense i not nonsense at all.
hut relaxation :. Il there is sober
truth in 'aii work and no play makes
jack a dull boy" All KIND. nf recreA-
ton might come under your ban unless
wisely used ~ means 10 an end, and
what woull become ot the dark corners
where amusement must be found III
trifles. or not at all, | have converted
nonsense into good sense in many
waNs. Often. wteI. few hours rest
for myself. has been of almost vital inn
pnrtance to the sick and suffering. when
sleep refused to keep company with an
Xiety; | have won that Balm of hurt
minds" by conscicntiouslv encouraging
utterly nonsensical thoughts, or reading
book empty OF all thought - until
the bent bone" recovered its elasticity;
and that. too. when all other remedies
from a shower bath to the multiplication
table had failed. BY the by. | wonder
why it is that the multiplication table
when taken as a narcotic. should be so
easy. aud then when one attempts to
calculate the dimensions Of corn crib.
or the months expenses. the figures
should perform such insane tricks !: like
..brief authority Let me say word
or two more for nonsense. Is il not
GOOD to see people happy, especially
children. on any harmless terms and
all of us cannot be intcllec tuallv amused
any more than children. Besides it is
Il wonderful cultivator of that prime
virtue patience. In hasty moods. it
might not be Improbable for Tatty
Corums to stop. and count four and
twenty SO my dear Jessie, be gencr-
Gus. and ''lct us have nonsense.
Even one vha does little besides inno-
Gently amu>in. others, ought to be re-
sarded as Il Kind of benctactor. Then.
"lot ne play the fool;
With uirth an laughter let Cd wrinkles come:
Why should a whose blood Is warm within,
~iAep when ne wakes, and creep into the Jaundict,
By being peevIsh -
N'importe. [ sgn the petition for
Your return, and add some inducements
| have not vet seen proAered. 1t is not
too late yet, to make a war record
could YOU but conquer one woman'o
tongue. VITA any other than Cupid's
weapon. YOU might wear Caesars
laurels. and stand henceforth on the
.topmost towering height o fame"
But let me whisper. the best you can
hope must be to die in your bo-" oh.
mean Ike Marmion, with sword i'll
hand" So be advised, N'importc.
>leathe your sword, select q bright
Shaft" and improve this golden oppor
uuitv for selecting a wife. Get he
measure OF her tongue; and if It prove
Il good long one. free from single
blemish of malice, aud she wieids il
with will; look you, she viii rlal<e a
most excellent wife; she will never be
a pouting pigeon, nor a Niobe, two
grow tired of her. for with rapid tran
Sit from devotion to vexation, and
back again. she will keep you ''as lively
as a cricket Her little tempers will
be like April storms-soon up. and
sooner over Her lucid moments. "Oh.
like the sweet South, that breathes
upon a bank of violets." She will be a
good housewife too. and give YOU doz-
en- snow white towels to Your bath.
dor you to tie up in knots, and throw
where they viii be most apt to millcw.)
You know. N 'importe,' as well as |
do, that to keep a man happy, he must
never be bored; and joys are not Joys.
that always stay; and constant pleas
ures don't delight bat cloy.
Bravo, Tar Heel, if you are care
iul to speak TO your mother a. affection
ately as YOU speak OF her; you deserve
happiness: and truly you seem 70 bc
rcvelinr i'll state ot bliss. Don't
bother about the quotations : Tar
Heel skip the last one OF them, mar
~ Your ..girl" and may you be
'.healtlly. wealthy" aud continue 10 be
happy. "0id Maid. dear soul. you
littlc dreampt what a hearty laugh yop
would furnish the MacGIegor at m1
expense. when YOU asked for Helen ;
recipe for hunters beet. When | tried
10 remember 1t verbatim. / failed. But
| viii send to headquarters and get it
fresh In the meantime | viii give Il
as | remember it. Take large piece
of beet salt. and lay It on a (not too
shallow dish. or IN a wooden bowl, and
pour over it good apple vinegar, spiced.
II cannot remember the kind. or guam
t.ty Of spices Never in my life made
any prcten>ion. bUt | was sure to be
caught Provoking. is it nOt:) Pour
the spiced vinegar over the beef; and
in cold weather let stand at least a week.
turning over every day. 50 that both
sides NAV alternately stand in the vine
gar When ready to be cooked. wash
and hv il in the stove pan. and put over
it a paste made Of flour and water. al
most a. thick rs dough; then roast TIL
Thoroughly cooked, remove the coyer-
ing of dough. which j. only used To pre-
serve the iuiees. and let the beet get
cold It j. most iit for sandwiches. y
l.. II. frequent letters II you please.
A-ou have ot,.er talents committed 10
you q are that n'pt t. covetousres-.
ic-il.s The "hoi ne BARNS" "Diy !.
are you no. sorrf soI waited" for ne:
You know the mails Get no farther IN
the highlands than the clachan OF
Abertoil and MacGregor'> giliics are
hot wont 70 come the straight road
home. While you tarried eul me at
the deep ford'' on the Forth, | crossed
far below you at the shallow iord."
and here at your service, my bonnie