The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-09-13
WIT AND WISDOM.

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WHEN man can make right ont oi
wrong he will be able to breed colts from
horse chestnuts.
IT is the Mobile Register which sem
| IDLY THINKS that if there was no news.
paper notice OF duels, duelling would
| come to IN end.
THE assisted" cnligrant is one that is
sent to this country as q pauper, with
passage paid. The "assisted" tramp
is one that is urged out of your yard
with boot. .
THERE are only two classes of unmar-
ried women in society, "scrawny old
maids" and young "chits Of girls" You
learn this by hearing each of these de-
scribe the other.
New JERSEY young man, who tackled
Professor Sullivan in friendly bout,
now wears the belt. He wears it just
over the left eye End feeds it on raw
bcet.--Erchange. ,... .
IT takes a good deal of courage to
write out the announcements: "Gone
down into the country to sponge off my
fathcr.in-lnw. BE away all summer.
Chicago Inter Ocean. 49,.
THE Keeper of the Lime-Kiln museum
reports that he has received from Mis-.
souri, the skull of farmers hired man
who had never yelled at yoke of oxen
or wanted to kill mule.
"WHAT is true bravcry?" asks n New
York paper. 1t is going to tho door
Yourself when you don't know whether
the caller is dear friend, q book agent
or man with n bill. ll.-PhiiadelDhia
NcaoS
A SHOWER of stones" is reported from
Cecil county, Md. If Il young man was
singing at midnight and accompanying
himself Oh an accordion, n shower of
stones was what might havo been ex.
pected.
IT seems that the Tc;r0s tSiflings man
went to Texas to die Of consumption
and lived to become humorist. You
can form your own estimate Of whether
the climate is to be praised or not
Boston Post.
A New ENGLAND physician says that
if every family would keep box Of
mustard i'll the house one-half of the
doctors would starve. We suggest that
every family keep two boxes i'll the house.
Tile JudgC.
"ARE angels ever sleepy ?"i is q que stion
which an English psychological soc:sty
is trying to solve. We hardly know
whether our angel is ever sleepy or not.
We've never stayed late enough to find
out.-LO,UcU citizen.
A CELEBRATED circus manager IS Oh
the hunt fora new curiosity for his show.
He Is seeking to find n young married
man whose wife can cook as we'll rs his
mother aid. Twcnty-six States have
hrcn explored thus far without success.
GREEN apples, green apples, the grass grows so
green
That the boys in tho orchard can hardly he
seem.
Oh. mother, oh, mother, your boy is in bed
If the doctors Gcn't hurry. he'll surely be dead.
AN aesthetic writer predicts that if we
wcro to revisit this country one hundred
years hence we should see men wearing
knee brooches and slashed doublets.
That settles it. We shall not como
back. The number of bow-legged men
is increasing too rapidly.
IT is said that the number of women
who reach ono hundred years and up-
ward is nearly double that of long-lived
men. Women don't invent patent fire
escapes and exhibit their workings. And
they don't stay out so late o night,
either, inhaling tho mnsma of the
night.
He had been waltzing with his hosts
ugly, elderly daughter, and was in
corner repairing damages. Here he was
espicd by his would.bo papa-in-l Jaw.
"Shc's the flower of my family, sir"
said tho latter. $50 itscems," answered
the young man. "Pjty she comes of
so, nin't t?' he continued as he essayed
another virOrOus rub ot tho Nhito sDofs
on his coat. slccvc.
"Do YOU want to sec some fun?" said
n small boy to his father. "Don't
care if [ do, he replied. "Wcll, let's
go and listen to Deacon Dumpy tack
down his carpets" "I don't think
thcrcll ho anything funny in that
scornfully snortcd the parent. "Don't,
ch? You seem to forget that tho deacon
stuttcrs." "Ah, said tho old man.
Then they went over to harken.