Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-09-23
LADIES' hUaOR.

Mrs. GWendOlyn Van Style: And,
Griffin. always remember to offer the
salver for the g~Pntleman'S card. Griffin
(e'evatinE himself to tiptOp): YeS'm.
Mrs. G.. Van : And, under no CirCun-
stances, Griffin, remain Visiting In the
drawing room until | come down, as
q did Yesterday. Griffin lets him
self softly down to his heels again: But
suppose, men,, as | takes him to be a
gent, mem, what III bear watchin',
menu
"Are you to take astronomy next
term, Elise?:' inquired q c,a<smate OF
her young friend. Hardly. But Au-
gustus is giving ME splendid as astro-
nOmicsI lessons during the vacation"
Isn't that nice? Has he Textbooks
aud an atlas?:" go Louise, my dear
He says Pm all the wOIll to him, and
when ! lean my head on his shoulder he
is my Atlas"
Uncle Reuben: Now, Venus, yo'
known Dc argument. Go' cawn't go
ter dat disreptable sukkus an hab dat
new gown, too. So tex yo' money an
hab yo' choice. l 'vises de gown"
Aunt Venus: "Wall, Rubs, l guess dis
yer ole gown III hey ter draggle 3 while
longer. Now, OATS economy hsint
hit?"
Miss Darlington: ayes, he plays ten
mis- well because he plays 1t all day as II
distrs elton. He Is very unhappy, poor
fellow! He was engaged, and he found
his income growing less every day, 80
he broke the engagement Mr.. Hor-
ace Templeton SDider; why, that's
the reason ] married."
YES" said the gilded youth II want
a wife To make home pleasant" But"
objected his friend, you'd be bowling
round town nights, all the same"
ayes; but nobody cares, and it would
be lust a comfort to feel that somebody
was at heme mad about it."
A rich sensation has just been spoiled
In ST, Louis. A wealthy young lady of
that city had fully made up her mind to
run away with and marry her fathers
coachman, when at the last moment
She discovered that the coachman
wouldn't have her.
ais there anything wrong Is kissing,
he asked her, rs they stood together ~
the garden gate. Certainly there ls,,,
she briskly replied; then slowly n
softly added, after s pause, "if there's
anyone looking"
A bOarder at Kennebunkport writes
ms that she went to the circulating
library and asked if they had the LET
ters of Jane Welsh Carlyle" and TO
ceived the reply, "You will &c! 'em at
the pOstothce."
Uncle Remus on courtship: Man
want gal, he des got ter grab 'er-dsts
wat. Dey may squal en- dey may
dutter, but flutter'u en- squallIn' 4
done no damage yit es L knows w.
en'taint gwine ter"
Nothing ironioal really meant: us
That gentleman q friend Of yourss" ask
ed a newly. introduced lady Of another
at q reception. 80 no, he's my hus-
band" was the innocent reply.
Young men, bear In mind that no
matter how cold 3 girl may be, she will
never decline ice-cream. And no mat
ter how sick she may be, she will never
refuse tickets for a matinee.
The statement that one Of Anna Dick
Inson,s slippers was found in the hulk
Of Nosh's ark, which has been discov-
cred on Mount Ararat, Is said to be 3
base fabrication.
who was killed by the gas being turned
ON In his wife's room He shouldn't
have entered into conversation with ner
ut all. Lii.
A woman is always most 6ustly en-
gagged at packing q trunk when the ex'
0rsssman calls for it.