The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1883-08-04
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

the first man didn't wear ear
ings.' remarked Brother Talmage ut u
late conference meeting. No" re-
marked quiet little man in the corner,
'nor anything else"
Caution in the premises: Hadn't l
better pray for rain to-day, deacon?' said
Biuhamtun minister ou Sunday. "Not
to-day, dominic, Think" was ths prud
ent reply. "the wind isn't right"
-'Ice cream one dollar per gall
"Well,' said down-Eister, as he walked
into the saloon, "that's pretty steep
price to charge for one gal, but, Marin,
I'll see you through, no matter. what it
costs. Heres "A dollar, waiter; ico cream
Tor the gal"
1t is estimated that in England 10,
0U0 women and girls chew gum. The
ties between that country and America
are growing stronger every year, by gum.
An exchange says; "A Mississippi
dog b.t off a boys nose and swallowed
it, This shows the thoughtfulIness OF
tn dog. If he had swallowed the nose
without biting it of it must have proved
fatal to the boy.
The dudine, after critically examin-
ing the magnificent proportion of the
dude, tlmidly remarked; George, d4r-
ling, if am going to wear the breeches
aft we get manied, You will have to get
them made larger than that"
True caUiion: MA" said Jennie
Parvenu at Newport, ''they said those
Smiths who have got the Jones cottage
are awful stylish and have got pedl-
gree" Got the pedigree, haze the,Y
said Mrs. Parvenu, excitedly; well, you
keep away from them, for don't want
you to catch it,"
-Mnnil ulating the mercury: "What's
that, Johu? Is that the stage coming?
asked the summer hotel proprietor of tie
porter. Yes, sir; guess it is" Then
hurry up and put some ether under the
bulb of that Thermometer on the porch.
They'll be here pretty quick aud we
must have it down to rs at least"
-Oae who moved among the elite
rs shame" said Mrs. Parvenu Il
Newport, the other day. "that they dc
not ele It my son one Of the stockholders
in that there Kasino. H. offered EN-
500, has dog cart, plays tennis anG
talks just MS silly as any of them mer
what 90 rouni with other mems wives
Aud we move in select circles, too"
Feeding press: Two boys met il
) trout of the Sun office yesterday after
noon. The youngest of the two said
"Hello, Tom, Are you worklug2' Yes.
Tom replied. I'm working around il
Spruce street. feeding a press Feed
ing a press?' repeated the inquirer
7 "Why, you overgrown Turk, you're no
able 10 feed yourself, let alone press. :"
! Verbatim copy of letter from NJ
E IrIshmnn TO his son in Dublin: "DEAl
: Son. II you are well when this lelte
/ reaches you we are all we'll. By th
I bearer send you my old brown Goa
: get a new one made out of it. You
mother sends you unbeknowing to me
r five pounds. hope you will not spen
them foollshly; if you do, 1 just Cali te
/ you that you are q silly goose, and r,
. main your atfectionate father. p. S.
II Your sister Sally wanted me to tell 20
y to send her shell comb, but as foi SC
it this time, and the letter already scale,
4 l will mention it in my next"
Recognized the impression: Persoi
ally, the most amusing thing which l Ell
joyed at the seashore didn't cost me
cent There was II crowd along IL
! beach. The German mother of f,
children lost their father IN the jam an
,e for an hour rushed to aud fro in scare
d Of him. Then sue sat down 10 rest al
the three larger children deployed wit
in sight. Mother, come here!" cri,
-. one, excitedly The youngster point,
- toa spacious iudentation in the san
- 1t had been made by pressure, not
scooping, The woman eyed i, critical
"Yaw," she presently remarked; ''yo
: fadder made dot by sitting himself dow
" know dot
i --Phntation philosophy: None but
q po' despise de rich. Eben amoug
~, amin lis kind ack is recallccted long
den mean one, A dog may forgi,
place wLar somebody kicked him, l.
be neber forgits de place where somebor
- gin him a piece of meat De evil in
W mans face is palmer den de good. Y
sometimes see a glass filed wild water
ur clear dat it looks like dar amt nuthi
ly dar, but put muddy water in de sar
an glass an it's mighty plain.
IL Charley quite outwiitsd: She lean
20 her head upon his shoulder aud said,
her most insinuatihg tones; "Charlt
nd dear I've heard so much about dudes
ng want you to get me one Charley smil
at her Innocence. but resolved to hum
be it, "would yen prefer Freach dud,
'ot be asked. Il tliuk not" she answer'
TO squirming eoyly. "How would a G.
fe, man dude sull7" Il don't think it woJ