davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16
Gladstone as Blind as Lord North.

Gladstone Is bllndly obstinate to the real
feeling OF Irishmen now as Lord North was to
the complaints OF the colonists one hundred
and ten years ago, plckets Dublin and Cork as
George III. picketed New York and Boston In
1773. Sons Of Liberty did not 'assasslnate"
Lord Howe, because he was too we'll guarded,
nor did they blow up the British Government
stamp ofiices with dynamite, because they did
not happen to possess that destructive force.
IfMh admits that appearances OF success for
Irish local government are Just now dark, but
Truth maintains that after the discomfort Of
the English tenantry shall be felt at another
general election there will soon afterward
come the agitation for local rule In England
that will aid the agitation for local rule In Ire
land. thousands in this city will live to see
an Irish legislature in Dublin.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16
Has n Father only Sometimes.

PhN 1hht iilDunt.
Said q telegraph messenger boy to a little
girl on First South street yesterday:
us your father at homer"
"Hain't got no father to-day"
"Where Is yer motherp
''She's plowing In the garden"
when Will you have your father agaln?"
"Every Wednesday the old scamp comes
sneaking around here"
"Where is he other days %
livery other days Of the week he's With
another aunt.
"Where came from every boy had his own
father, and the old man didn't have 70 go
sloshin' from No. 1 to No. 20 TO keep up his
family ties"
Cant be happy In such country as that"
"Why :"
"Cause the young 'uns would be licked
every day. We get enough three times q week
when our old dad comes around here. Then
there would not be much grub left for us II
dad was hero seven days In the week. Nam
wouldn't have time 10 work in the field, and
there would be a famine at our house."
"oan't see your dad tomorrow"
"ro.morrow's Sunday. It's DADS day OF
rest. He kind OF 'cuperates, you know, on
Sunday. Last week No, / wore club out on
him; this week No. 2 jerked 'nough hair
outn his head to make mattress. No tellin
what man will do with him when his turn
comes here. The old mans got trouble on his
mind and sores on his body. Guess you
needn't point any time to see him."
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16
Misunderstanding Southern Outrases.

Melton is the name of the United States Dis
trict Attorney for South Carolina who is re-
sponsiDle for the arrest and maltreatment OF
good citizens against whom there was not a
particle OF evidence. II Ia reliably reported
that letter has been seen by prominent men
In South Carolina, in which Melton, replying
10 an appeal from q leading Republican In
Sumpter County, consented to drop the case
againstthe supervisor of that county, but warn
ed his correspondent not to repeat his request,
since these trials, though no convictions
on the election OF 1884. This Melton is the
man who assured Attorney-General Brewster
that "the evidence was overwhelming" In
cases where there was no evidence at ali. The
Department OF Justice has been dlsgraeed aud
the inalienable rights OF citizens have been
outraged by this official 1t is high time for a
change-such change as Will retire Melton
and put trustworthy man In the place which
he has dlsgraced.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

QUEER logic that of Lieutenant Cess
ford's. He did not arrest the man Kirk
who chased another man with q butcher
knife because Kirk was harmless, was on a
drunken spree and only little jealous of
his wife. Common people who are not as
well posted, perhaps, as Mr.. Gessforl, would
regard a jealous drunken man, armed with
butcher knife, as rather dangerous ami
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16
Befler Time Than at the Rnce. rrnck.

The time made on the Jockey Club race
track yesterday by the fastest horses was not
circumstance 10 the time made by score or
more of mothers and fathers on their way to
the grand and magnificent boys clothing
store OF B. Robinson Co., 900 Pennsylvania
avenue northwest to get their boys a suit OF
clOtnes. They keep the very best.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

ENGLAND is trying to stamp the Irish
out by what it calls assisted emigration
But England cannot stamp out of the Irish
heart the feeling of bitter hate toward her
which has been growing for centuries, and
which will continue to grow in the hearts
Of generations yet to come.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

THE independents have carried Wall
Street and elected their candidate for
president of the Board of Exchange by 62l
votes out of SAG cast. The regulars were
nowhere-swept under by a little tidal
wave, as it were.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

IT becomes clearer and clearer every day
that all the Dublin juries are packed by
the Crown. Might as we'll let the judges
try the cases at once. The result would be
thn snma
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

THE Star-Route trial has not taught one
attorney engaged therein patience. The
said attorney was at the races yesterday,
and became SO disgusted at the delay be-
tween acts that he took the first train back
to the courthouse. He says they do thing:
quicker in st. Louis.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

Is President Arthur aware of the fact
that he offers daily insult to every natur-
allied Irishman every day that he keeps
the snob Lowell at the Court of st. James
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

JOE BRADY is regarded as martyr
Ten thousand Irishmen would not have
stood with uncovered heads ont Of respect
to one regarded as murderer at the mo-
ment that the drop fell.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

IT is said that the Queen of Greece will
attend the Cars coronation incognito
But If dynamite should be there, will it re-
spect the incog?
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

Every better who won yesterday took the
precautlon before starting out TO the track to
lay in a supply of that very best OF whisky,
west.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

THOMPSON still runs his bobtail cars, to
the disgust of all decent people.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

Said sick young man from Fauquier,
Can 81. Jacobs OIL DO boughtier2
Yes, for rheumatic palms,
Neuralgia and chilblRins,
IT'S indeed sir very much Boughtier.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

remember that the fastest mile ever mado
by running horse flesh was 1891. Consid-
ering the track, the time made yesterday
was very good
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

BETTER to be Joe Brady dead tha tho
Infamous Carey living.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

MITCHELL says he was not knocked out
and wants to try it again. Evidently he
does not know when he has enough.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

To worry about any Liver, Kidney or Url-
nary trouble, especially Bright's Disease or
Diabetes, as Hop Bitters never fails OF cure
where cure Is possible. We know this.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16

THE Pos, has an editorial or two on Ma.
hone this morning.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16
most vigorous fight against the pro-
posed railroad consultations in New

posed railroad CONSIDERATIONS in New
England. He is reported as saying:
l am utterly opposed TO the proposed rail-
road consolidation projects OF the New Hamp-
shire Legislature this year, and shall use all
the influence possess TO defeat them. / be-
lieve that the consolidation can only be
accomplished now by reckless corruption and
by more or less watering of stock, which New
Hampshire never Will submit TO. The pro-
posed doubling Of the capital stock OF the Con-
cord and the Manchester N Lawrence Rail-
roads, making 1t 50, 100000 instead OF 50, 800.
600, on which the people would have TO pay G
to 10 per cent. interest In increased rates,
would be intolerable. The Legislature II
no such gigantic consolidation as the proposed
one was ever thought of as likely TO bo present
edto 1t. Now 1t is sprung within thirty days oi
Its meeting.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16
"AIderney Deiry Waeons.n

Fresh Alderney butter, churned every morn
ing and delivered In X fb "ward" prints, 15c.
per b. Also, cottage cheese, buttermilk
and sweet milk, &c per qt. Cream 15c, per pint.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1883-05-16
EDUCATIONAL,
LIVERY STABLES.

A. b. KEYES, J. l.. SMITH.
KEXE8 81 60.
oloAe Carriages for Weddings, Calls and heoep
tons. Boarding and Livery Stable. Willardh
Hotel Stables, corner l4th aud E SITS.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1883-01-05

The ~ Thomas tOnt-) EusNfn1 journal tells
tho following exceedingly wonderful story
concerning Michigan man:
On Sunday NOR ,ing as the G. g. H. express
Roing east was hsaring Fletcher, a man who
was passenger on one Of the coaches Jumped
from his seat and ran hastily along the aisle to
the platform and jumped from the fisins
train. The speed Of the train must have been
forty-hvc miles an hour. and those who saw
the man make his terrible leap thought there
was not the slightest chance fsr his
life. The rope was pulled by the
brakeman. tho engine reversed, the air.
brakes put on, and the train backed
up to the point where the man made
his sudden exit, the train men being all ready
10 pick up the fragments OF what was sup
posed 10 be crazy passenger. However they
were mistaken. and the train was met by the
rald passenger hoonng IL down the track At
lively rate. lie was almost uninjurcd. and as
soon ~ he was aboard aud the train making
headway toward Buffalo again he was besieged
with questions, trainmen, conductor and pas
sengers all being eager to know the reason Of
his hasty Decentralization. He said his
name was X A. Cimcry, his age twenty.
two. his business locomotive fireman
on the Grand Rapids Indians
Railway. He was going homo to Buffalo
after two years absence. and had gone &c
sleep In the coach, AZ one naturally would al
three O'Clock In the morning. While he slept
he dreamed that he was In the cab OF his en-
gine and his mate shouted 10 him; "The
throttle Il stopped, II you want tn save your
life. jumpr' And be jumped, - has been do
scribcd- II Is good thing he did not jump
minute sponcr, or be would have landed in
the stream below the bridge this side Of Til
bury. As 4 was, he was scarcely injured at
III. his arm being slightly bruised and
scratched He did not wal1s - TIL BE- struck
the O. and discovcred - train = long
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1883-01-05
VOL. /. NO. l6.


1t has been said that If there were NOT
50 many ignorant people, The world
would be less agreeable place to live
in-there would be such . dearth OF
mirth-proyoking blunders- There is
something in the assertion. for ignor-
ance is the mother of blunders. Who
would not pardon the ignorance of the
Irish servant. who, being sent for bot
tie of capers, asked the astounded clerk
for "a bottle of them 'er acti0,ss7'' But
the ignorance which begets ludicrous
blunders is found among those who do
not rank themselves with the common
people.
Some twenty years ago there was q
famous divorce case tried in London.
The parties were an aged nobleman and
his young wife. Ihe presiding Judge.
Sir Creswell Creswell. remarking on the
disparity of their ages. said that the case
was another instance of the evil effects
of marriages contracted between May
and December"
Could it be possible for any educated
person to misunderstood this familiar
allusion? Yet the secretary Of Scotch
statistical society sent letter to the
Judge asking for a statement of the
facts on which he based his opinion as
to the infelicity of marriage solemnized
between these two months of the year.
Certain members of the society, added
the secretary. wished to put the infor-
nation in the shape of . paper to be
read before the society.
who do not know of the Roman Emperor
who. because he renounced Christiani-
ty. is known as Julian the Apostate.
Yet an English Judge, Kenyon. who
subsequently became : Lord Chancellor,
in charge to the jury at tr al for BIAS
phemy. said:
.Above all. gentlemen. need name
to you tho Emperor Julian. who was SO
celebrated for the practice of every
Christian virtue that he was called
Julian tn Apostiey"
AWestern jury once brought in a ver-
diet in case Of alleged stealing; mot
guilty. but he'd better not do it again.
Their ludcrous ignorance was matched
by an English jury which tried man
charged with having house-breaking in
struments in his possession. with intent
TO commit burglary.
ave find" said the foreman OF this
intelligent jury, "the prisoner guilty,
with the benefit Of doubt"
On the Judge refusing TO accept such
a verdict the foreman explained that
there was some doubt in the jury's
mind. but they thought the prisoner
was guilty. Being sent back to recon-
slider their verdict, they failed to agree.
After long trial of case involving
one hundred THOUSAND dollars, the Judge
said to the jury: ''Gentlemcn. before
you retire for consultation. II there are
any terris OF law used during the trial.
or any rules stated. which you do not
understand. the court is prepared to ex-
plain them"
Upon this bald-headed Juror arose
and said: II believe | understand all
the rules OF law laid down: but thsre
are two terms Of law that have been
good deal used during the trial. which
should like 10 know the meaning of
"Wel'. sir. what terms Of law do you
allude top asked the Judge.
al mean the words piaiatif and de-
fcnddnf."
Disgust and amusement strove hard
TO overcome each other. as court and
bar heard this model jurors request
YOUTHS Companion.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1883-01-05
HUMOROUS.

Has any one found out how much
waterways.
Question in Natural History-What
does catamount to?
--Aminadab says the balance of trade
Is generally some two ounces short.
An exchange thinks that when q
man cuts his throat new term should be
employed in place of ''from ear to ear !"
How would from the knee TO the
elbow" doP That would be change.
Julia. my little eherub, when does
your sister Emma return?" Julia: Il
don't know" sDidn't she say any
thing before she went awayp" Julia
''She sa d, II you came TO see her. tha'
she d be gone till doomsday."
MIR. J. J. H. Gregory says that an
acre Of land may contain six tons Of
worms. So it may; but, IL Mr.. Gregory
ever tried TO dig box Of bait on ten
minutes notice Of an invitation to 60
fishing In a dry time he knows 1t don't.
--LotoeH Courier.
"A New York physician offers to
cure men OF snoring for ten dollars. -
Er. Men who are In the habit of snor-
ing for ten dollars should consult him.
We never snorc for such a small amount.
Il doesn't cost any more to snorc for
ten thousand dollars. Norrisfown Her
aid.
-s'Why. John. where have you been
all night?" was the greeting. as he
stumbled upstairs. Comet ,,arty, my
dear, that's ALL" Comet partyf
Whr, II ought not TO take all night TO
see the comet" IF you zhee as many
comets ash l did, 4 would take you,
poor, weak woman. a whole week
Tcsh il would"
An old darky said TO his wife at the
circus "Look ahcre. Suse, yer jest got
to make up yer mind: Of yer gwine to
take de shoes yer can't 60 TO de circus.
an ef yer il gwinc TO de circus yer can't
get de Shoes" Just about this time
the banl struck up = lively air, and
>use told the oil man she would 20
barcfooied q while longer. shc was
bound to see dc circus.
A countryman stepped into . frIf
store an invested in 4 nickers worth
Of chcstnuts In half an hour he re-
s...eo u IN h.1ag !. W,, Wy PavpL'e-oI o.ls
os.s :. M -. 80. ". s.vss1, :. ,s r-ha
1sHcl I .s-u '.,s ~ ..h. = ~. ~. a, ss ~
chestnut I found in the pint and 50
thought you had put II in By mistake
am an honest man. and don't want 10
lake . mean = advantage Of . fellow"
An old laly in the country had a !
dandy from the city to dine with her on
) certain occasion- For desert there |
10 be IN enormous apple pie
I" La. ma AM said he. "how DO you
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1883-01-05
Personal AND LITERARY.

The new Governor of Colorado il
only about thirty years old.
Senator Bayard is ranked by George
A. Sala as the best story-teller in the
country.
Milton received &25 for his para
diss Lost" and Tennyson S.. 900 for his
Promise of May"
Mr. Bill Nye. of the Laramie Room
erang. speaks OF Elder Cannon as four
ply Tater, ,samilias.
Mime. Nilsson. speaking of Oscar
Wilde to Chicago reporter, said: HE
ought to have been taken by the ear
and taken to the boat and driven out OF
this country"
in the opinion of the Philadelphia
Press Mrs. Langtry could have '.got
into" her critics in the most cruel way
by saying: ''How much money did You
fellows earn while l was making S62.-
600.
1t is now said that Governor Clevc-
land is q direct lineal descendant OF
Henry Sewell. Esq. who, in the days Of
Queen Elizabeth. was several times
chosen mayor Of Coventry.
MIS-. Charlotte Carpenter. who be-
came the wife Of Walter Scott. wrote
before marriage that she did not ap-
prove of rejecting, and hade adieu to
all thoughts. for she meant to have a
good time.
The London correspondent OF the
Manchester Guardian says that Herbert
Spencer looks well. but protests that his
bronzed look is only a temporary conse-
quence of the sea voyage, and that he
fees in reality the reverse of benefited
by his trip.
Tho prospective Mrs. Cleveland,
who Is expected to preside over the ex-
eeutive mansion at Albany. is Miss May
Burlngame. lady residing near Utica.
The Governor el,ct has been about six
years making up his mind to it, but tho
question is said to have been popped at
last.
August Belmont. although he hns
been ssWall street man" for u good
many years. has never been drawn into
stock speculaiions. No one has ever
heard OF Be'mont's name in any "cor-
ner' or street speculations among the
bulls and bears He has confined HIM
self closely to his original spccia ty. and
has built up an immense banking busi-
ness.
Sergeant Ballantine, though cele-
brated and eloquent speaker, Is rather
awkward in manner and has an odd
way OF altering his phrases like law
yer debating an important brief to an
amanucns s. He has spoken six hours
day in court fer three succeeding days
without notes. but says that he Is afraid
TO address an American audience.
Edward ID. Cooley was only thirty
five years old when he died. at West
Springfield. Mass. and yet he lived
alone in SO poor hovel that it was
assessed for taxation at only s2j, while
bank books discovered since his death
show that he had about $4,000 at in
terest He was graduate Of Amherst
College, and 1t is said that love affair
first made him rccluse. His lie was
very solitary and his nearest neighbors
had no &C .uaintance with him. A few
books and gun were his companions.
and he was contentcd to live In rags
and squalor.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1883-01-05


The beetles (elater) are the most re-
splendent forms of the South. Over
seventy distinct species OF them are
Of North America They have two yell
low wphosphorcscent spots upon the back.
and two others hidden under the wing
cases. which are only visible when the
insect flies. We have frequently read
by their light; allowing the insect to
cling to the finger. and passing it along
the page. spot two inches in diameter
would be rendered luminous by the dor
sal lights The sight produced by these
tropical fre-fies is often extremely
magnificent and has been aptly do
scribed by southey:
"sorrowing we beheld
rhe night come on; tut soon did night dis'
More wonders than IT veIled; innumerous
From the wood cover swarmed, and darkness
Their beauties visible; one while they
A bright blue radiance upon flowers Which
closed
Now, mofionicss and dark. cuded search.
sslf-shrsudrd; and anon. starring the sky.
Rose like shower Of fire.
Now red glare dashes by. followed by
an intermittent blaze Of rich orange
yellow. while in the foliage all about
the brilliant green light Of the photuris
appears, d ing away a mimic revolving
light. At times these attract others Of
golden hucs. and bevy of flashing in
candcscent bodies circle about each
other for a moment and then dart
away like flaming mefeors to illumine
the gloom beyond One. the pyro-
phorus. emits, when At liberty. . rich.
raddy glow. and again . yelIowish
orange. Tut in captivity 1t seems diff
fused with pale. green glow These
are the insects the early Spanish in
vaders took for the lights OF an i'm
mense army as they advanced upon the
ancient capital OF Mexico Al this
time rhey were rs6d by the natives at
night. numbers Of them being tied to
the feet. So they refers 10 this in tho
poem already quoted When Coatc'
was guiding Madcc through the
cavern.
"a she beckoned. and descended and drew cut
From uudelnea her vest cage or net
d r-ther might be called - me tire twige
which knit IL where. confined. two nrc-1ics
gave
Their iusfer~
In parts Of the South 10 this day they
are in common use as q decoration By
the ladies; and among the pe2santry Of
Ztaly and Greece = gala toilet would not
seem comple'e without . disdem Of
6ashing FIRE flies that CLEANS and scin-
lillafes like : veritable halo about their
heads. A evening falls these maids q
lhe sun follow the cleaning insects.
AMI bedeck one another with living
gems that only Nature can produce-
Upon one occasion ID. Domingo Conde.
u Colombia. appeared upon the evening
with an enormors live beetle
ls . catch to his Panama hat which in
Iurn wzs omamenfed with . loop Of
b1azing fire-fies: and in his palace
ages Of silver wire hung. imprisonine
nyrisds Of the cleaning insec<s-@
Charles r. Bolder. "a H1rPcr's Na9a-