The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-11-15

"Depechez Uous, monsieur" exclaimed
the telegraph operator, as he hastily
pushed me a form and pen and ink. No
one, l suppose, can have lived to be thirty
years old without having observed the
total depravity in the behavior of inanimate
things when one is in a hurry, and espe-
cially when one is told to hurry. l had on a
new pair of gloves with patent clasps. Do
what l would, l could not unfasten the in
fernal things, nor could l write in gloves.
The telegraph operator saw my distress
and proposed to write from my dictation,
so l hastily dictated a few words.
"Attendes, monsieur" said the man,
when, having paid him, 1 prepared to rush
Imay see whether it is all right"
1t was all right, fortunately (the man I'M
derstood English,) and l journeyed on in
complete peace of mind. At about noon
the following day I reached my destina-
ton. 1 was rather annoyed at not finding
ton, but 1 had no difficulty in finding a
fiacre, and on telling the man to drive
to Madame Gilbert's, l was relieved
to find from his mods and smiles that the
name was known to him. / thought that
Matilda with her wonted cleverness had
sent this especial carriage to meet me, and
that she and the girls were probably pre-
pairing a triumphal arch in houorof my ar
rival. In about ten minutes we arrived at
the gate of a large and very swell chalet,
which was surrounded by flower beds n
fountains, and adorned by the gayest
striped awnings imaginable. 1t was very
pretty and luxurious, but it looked terribly
expensive. The fiacre stopped at the gate,
which was only opened after some delay,
and then there was a long parley with a
smart maid, who finally advanced to the
carriage and demanded who / was.
This was a pretty way of welcoming a
man after eight months of separation!
"Where- On est madame:?" 1 inquired,
collecting all my packages together, and
beginning to be very angry.
A food of French followed, in which I
could only distinguish three words-"mad-
anne" "flle," and "Fleur Marie.". 1t was
enough, however. l at once comprehend
ed that everything had gone wrong, that
my wife and the girls had gone to Fleur
Marie, and that in some inexplicable man.
ner my telegram had gone astray. The
maid seemed by no means ready to receive
the packages which l handed out, and
again, though rather more difidently than
before, inquired who I was.
This was too much. "Je SuiS le mditre.
Je suis monsiear-Monsieur Gilbert, le mari
de madame" 1 Numbered, ordering the
driver of the fiacre to set down my trunks
within the gateway, and piling my umbrel-
las, shawl straps, ETC., in the maids arms.
She received them in silence, looking rather
blank and frightened, so much frightened,
indeed, that when l had paid the driver,
and the gate was closed, I turned to her
with all my usual u~rbanity, and pointing
to the luggage, inquired If there were no
men on the premises. l am not at all elo-
quent in French, I confess that, but it took
me at least ten minute to make the stupid
woman understand what l meant. When
she did at length comprehend that the lug
gage must be carried up to the house she
looked more dismayed than ever, and MUIR
INJURED something about Jacques and Michel.
I then signifed that Jacques and Michel
-. afIN-Aa kaIvn hold ~ The -,r1y An1
bring them up to the house, and myself
walked toward the open door. Standing
just within it, his hands in his pockets, his
wide mouth distended in a broad grin, was
the most impudent-looking young fellow I
ever saw. He was dressed in liyery-act-
ually in livery i-chocolate-colore coat and
shorts, red and white striped waistcoat and
stockings, and his coat was adorned with
bright buttons, IN each of which was en-
blazoned a huge G.. 1 thought this a most
Unnecessary EXPENSE, and altogether abb
surd of Matilda, but the man. manner SO
irritated me that I determined to take him
in hand without delay. "Take your hands
out of your pockets, sir!" I said, sternly
pointing to the offending members as 1
entered the hall. I had spoken in English
but my manner was significant enough
and the grin disappeared from the fellows
countenance as he obeyed, while a sulky
old man in shirt sleeves, who was putting
plants in the bow-window of the hall, sud-
denly removed his hat and laid it on a chair
beside him. f
tinued, still in English, so delighted was I
with my success. SEQ down to the gate
and bring up my luggage;" and pointing
to the gate and the luggage, I indicated in
pantomime what was to be done.
But at this juncture a stout, red-faced
female, arrayed in dark blue calico, and
wearing a white Golf on her head, appeared
at a side door. She held a frying-pan or
some such culinary utensil in her hand,
and 1 really thought she was going to at
tack me with it, so fierce was her manner
She poured forth a flood of French, but
amid all her angry eloquence I could only
distinguish "madame," 'des tongues an
nees," and continual illusions to a certain
'Mees Betsee, Mees Betsee."
"Confound Miss Betsey!" I said at last,
in good plain English. "What do Icare
for Mees Betsee? Hold your tongue, my
good woman" Then, abruptly changing
to French, 1 said, in my sternest tones,
"Je suts monsieur, le mari, mari de
madame"
It was very strange, but the fat, red.
faced creature started, looked at me nerv,
ously, and turned quite pale. Monsieur
Jacques (the young fellow in livery
looked thunder-struck, and the old man
in shirt sleeves (Michel) deliberately took
a pair of spectacles out of his pocket and
scanned me narrowly. This was rather
alarming, particularly as Un6 maid i mad
first'seenr raised her hands and eyes, and
significantly nodded at the other three, as
much as tS say. "You see [ was right.
This gentleman actually persists in being
the master of the house,"
A swift terror shot through me. "Could
Matilda be dead? And the children:
Where and how were they?"
The cook seemed the most sensible person
in the establishment. would question her.
"Ecoutez," l said, sternly, taking her by
the shoulder. "Votre maitresse-les en-.
ants 2"
Here I broke down hopelessly and drifted
into English. But at the end of ten min
utes I had succeeded in making the ser.
wants understand me, and they, in their
turn, had quite relievedmy mind. Madame
and the children were all well, and she had
taken them all, ever the "garcons," the
boys, to Fleur Marie the day before. Here,
again, l thought Matilda foolishly weak
and compliant. To nave taken the boys
out of school fifteen days before the end OF
the school year,, and to nave taken them
with her to Fleur Marie-here it occurred
to me to inquire for my telegram, and NJ.
Jacques, with a notable change of manner,
brought it to me on a %isalvar, observing
that it had arrived just after "madame'i
left, the day before. 1t was still sealed
and / opened and read it. Yes, there il
was, exactly as l had dictated it: "WiIl
come straight through to Bougaud. Do not
come to Fleur Marie"
Tossing the telegram on a table, I once
more signified hat my luggage must be
carried upstairs. But, to my surprise, ]
again met with some resistance. Michel
Immediately resumed the plant-potting
with assiduity, the maid began to rub q
table with her apron and Jacques had the
i~mpertineuce to look at the cook for guild.
ance, while that audacious woman again
murmured something about "Mees Bet
see."
1t was really too annoying, and 1 per
ceived that the time to assert my authority
had come. With bland firmness l removed
the frying-pan from the cooks hand and
substituted my dr~essing-bag. Then turn
ing to the men I said, in tones which I usu
ally reserve for the quarter deck: "Take
that luggage upstairs"
No sooner said than DONE. In arl less time
than it takes to write it we. were moving
upstairs, a procession of five. The cool
led the way with my d~ressing-bag, the mait
followed with the other packages, the1
came Messieurs Jacques and Michel witt
the trunks, and 1 brought up the rear. Thi:
was all as it should be, but atthe head of the
stairs there was an unexpected halt. Tina