National Republican., 1883-08-15
WOULDN'T SPILE.
The squatter Mt Churoh-How He Enjoyed
the Music.
ArkdnSdw ndueier.

ArkdnsdV 7Tdreler.
The other day an old squatter came to the
city and attended divine services at Il fashion
able church. He sat uneasily on a cushion,
aud when the organ began to rumble his hair
began to stand up. Turning to man who
sat near, he asked:
what sorter artickle do yer call that"
"That's the fatted calf bawling," the man
replied. ,.u
the projikin son on"
" Yes, they killed one but have raised an
other"
The deep tones of the organ roared like q
storm behind the scenes and the old squatter,
with wink of his dry looking eye said
Must be paving the groun' now. He's mad
as a hornet. Sorter letting up-now he's
down on it again. Now they're twistin' his
tail. Jingo! how he filings up his head in the
ar. Now they're givin' him rope. Let him
swing-hold him!"
The choir burst forth in melodious air,
and the old fellow sat for a moment in SEEM
ing admiration, then turning again TO his
newly formed acquaintance, he said: pretty
good singin', but sorter SLOW They don't
seem ter git right down to the work. Now
look at that bald headed feller He's dodgin'
pints right along, and that other feller with
them whiskers like goat KANT keep up
with the outfit, while the gal thar is leavin'
all O. them. Wouldn't catch anybody leavin'
Nick Mug glesa feler that sings at our church.
Why, put him up thar with that turn out an
he'd go on an transact his business an get
through an be ready for all sorts O.
fun fore that bald feller and his
crowd got no whar on the road. Nick's what
] call a singer an or fiddler; he ken knock
the everlastin' spots often it. Why he ken
make fiddle call hogs, and talk like ten
year old boy; an er bango, huh. He ken
if.,lt, mia at hat fhn itNt
neighborhood start of. Wish ho was here to-
day. Look how that baldheaded feler's
slackin' up, will yer2 Ef l was him I'd quit
Now he's sorter peartenn' up Look at the
gal er climbin', will you; an jing, see the
goat whiskered feller pitch after her. He'd
er catch her ther of she hadenter lodged.
Dinged if he amt got her now. Now he's
got by her. There he goes like scared rabbit
The gals droppin' back now, an is goin' along
with the bald headed feller. Hello, look at
that fat man putiin' along Look at him
climb, will yer2 The gal s gittin uneasy agin.
Look at her prance. There she goes after the
goat whiskered feller There they all go,
bookety, bookety. Now they're all together
See em walk along. Hello, they've stopped"
The old fellow listened with wrapt atten-
tion to the sermon, occasionally nodding in
approval or shaking his head in uncertainty.
When a man with the contribution box ap-
preached the squatter asked:
" WHAT'S upF
"We are taking up collection for the
heathens, and, as you seemed to be SO much
interested in the sermon, didn't know but
you would like to give few dimes"
whats the matter with the heather 2"
"Why, he doesn't know anything about the
gospel, and we want to raise money enough
to send it to him."
"Wall, tell yer. don't think he'll spile
afore mornin'. I've got hos swap on han,
an ef l ken git 'nOugh boot, come aroun' an
Wen sorter look inter the matter"
"But, my friend, the heathen children need
clothes?"
80 does mino, by jingo. Bill amt wore
nothin' but shirt for six months, an has to
stay outen perlite 'sciety; Ike's got va
cancy in his britches biggern yer hat an Jack
haster stay under the house when stranger
comes, case he got his clothes scorched
during hog KILN. Come aroun' airter the
swap, fur don't think the heathens will spile
for mornin',"