davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

From the Detroit Free Press.
"Mr. Smith, will you indorse my note
of SOP"
"Why, should expect to have to pay
it if l did"
"Certainly-certainly."
"And so I might as well lend you
SOP"
Exactly; you are quite correct"
''And I shouldn't expect You to ever
pay it?"
:Of course not; of course not"
'Then why didn't you ask me direct
to Give you $20?" :.
because, sir, do business in BUSH
ness way. I never borrow money OF q
man who will indorse for me, and !
make all calculations on the indorser
paving the note. It's the same thing in
the end, but we arrive st it in differ
cit way. believe in making the horse
draw the cart. You can't give me $40,
sir, but ifyou will have the kindness to
indorse o note for that amount, will
see that You are $40 out of pocket"
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18
StretchY RELIGION.

An old couple, man and wife, were
along the wharves a day or two ago
hunting for an up-shore boat, and the
woman explained to steamboat agent:
"It's very stormy season, and we ex-
pect to be seasick, and we druther 60 an
boat where the captain is religious
man,
"Well, that's all right" he replied.
We've got one very religious captain on
our line, and his boat sails tonight"
"Can we go down and see him?"
ooh, yes, Keep right down the street
until You see the boat"
The couple walked on aud finally
boarded the steamer. The captain and
all hands were busy with cargo, but the
old folks walked up to him and the
woman said:
"Capting, you have been recommend
ed to us as religious man."
"The--I have" he promptly
growled.
They looked at each other with con-
sternation depicted in their faces, and
then the old man said:
"Capting, what church do you belong
tor"
"See herel" ioared the official, "lf
you've come to bleed me for some chari-
ty, or want me- to sign petition, or ex-
pect this boat to carry lot of dead.
heads up the lake, | won't stand It'll
What do You want? Ont with it, now,
and no internal chawing around. Pm
BANKED if | amt bothered by more
dashed lunatics than other BANKED man
on the dashed lakes"
Man and wife retired to consult, and
after getting ten feet away the woman
said
Henry, he's not religious man."
"Well, dunno"
"But he swears like pirate"
Eyes; Maria, but you see this is out
West. We don't swear and belong to
the church too up in New Hampshire,
but they may do differently out here.
He swears but he looks like man to de-
pend upon in storm"
"Shan't we look for another?"
81 guess not, Maria. guess the re-
ligions out here in Michigan are kind %
stretchy, and they low swearing on
steamboats, and --and the depots.
Wen 60 by this boat, and If he don't
swear any harder than he did to Us
mebbe Providence will let him squeeze
through on the up-trip and sink him
when he comes downr-Detroit Free
rre66s
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18
Advertising Cheats

huVcfthsHuR Ou6AGS ~
SIT has become so common to write the be-
ginning of an article, In an elegant, interest
ing manner,
'sThen run It into some advertisement that
we avoid all such,
"And simply call attention to the merits
of Hop Bitters in as plain, honest terms as
possible,
''To induce people
ITO give them one trial which 30 proves
their value that they viii never use anything
else"
''THR REMEDY 60 favorably noticed in all
the papers,
Religious and secular, is
Having large sale. and is supplanting
"There Is no denying the virtues of the
Hop plant. and the proprietors OF Hop Bit
tiers have shown great shrewdness
And ability
'aIn compromising medicine whose vir-
tues are so palpable to every ones observa-
ton.
Did She Die?
mol
"She fingered and suffered along. pining
away all the time for years"
1.-THE doctors doing her no good;"
And at last was cured by this Hop Bit
tiers the papers say so much about"
Indeed Indeedl'
"How thankful we should be for tina,
medicine"
A Daughters Misery.
eleven years our daughter suffered on q
bed of misery,
From o complication of kidney, liver,
rheumatic trouble and Nervous debility,
Under the care of the best physicians,
who gave her disease various ma ues,
"But no relief,
"And now she is restored to Us in good
health by as simple a remedy as Hop Bit
tiers, that we had Stunned for years before
using it 1.-THE PARENTS.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18
A Note ON serawberry culture.

Many families without the luxury of
strawberries under the impression that
it takes too much labor to cultivate them
that it requires so much skill that or
binary mortals are not equal to the
task. can testify from experience that
such is not the case. In April 1882 sent
70 a nursery-man thirty miles distant
and bought hundred plants for a dol
lar. Seyenty-five were Wilson, and
twenty-five Crescent. These were sci
out in rows about foot-and-half each
way, the Crescent forming one of the
middle rows. The ground was part OF
the garden and no extra work was laid
out on it. The plants were watered 4
few nights until showers made il un-
needed. After that they were hoed or
weeded by hand when it seemed neces-
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18
How Some People Look Upon
Smuggling.

Many people have anotion that there
is no moral wrong in smuggling. A few
years ago dealer in laces in Leonard
street, New York was found to have
been extensively engaged in smuggling.
He had made himself liable to pay q
penalty of $1,000. I took him to the
District Attorneys Office, where he ex-
pressed his willingness to pay the cash.
He said 81 suppose you think ! have
committed some moral wrong. I do not
think 80. I have merely violated le-
gal restriction of the United States, but
committed NO moral offense. Your gov
eminent levies duty of sixty. percent.
to-day and to- morrow takes it off. Nor
atty n not made and unmade in that
way" He paid the $40, 200 and ended
it. He represents large class of peo-
pie claiming to be honest who do not
hesitate to defraud the custom house.
Very respectable people have been
caught smuggling clothing. and found
one merchant who regularly bought his
clothes from a London tailor without
paying duty.-Custom Officer In New
Sun.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

her hand warmly on his lips, and max
ing movement to withdraw.
With q strength she had not expected,
he clasped her hand and detained her.
II love you-love you very dearly!
he said, looking earnestly into her eyes.
"Not more dearly than do you; dar-
lingp she replied, hiding ner flushed
face in his bosom, which she believed
with gladstone tears.
If the doctor had been there he would
have pronounced such conduct q breach
of all the laws of therapeutics, and would
have prophesied fatal consequences be-
fore the day was over; but in spite of
doctors theories, we believe there is no
authentic case of death from happily re-
Quilted love.
Richards convalescence was rapid
and uninterrupted. In one of the first
newspapers he was able to read he saw
an account of Camilla Cabell's marriage
to dashing Wall street broker; but the
announcement caused him no more dis
Quiet than it gave him pleasure to read
a fortnight later of the aforesaid brokers
failure through an attempt to corner Lit
tle- Joker preferred. In fact, Camilla had
been nothing to Richard since the day
he woke from his dream and called him
self a ''fool."
Richard has lately been promoted by
his employers, and having now a salary
to Justify the step he insists that his and
Phebe's wedding shall not be delayed
beyond the Fourth of July.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

John A. Cole noted breeder of short
hons and Polan China swine of Hustisford
Wis. has made arrangements with Secretary
Judson TO hold public sale of Short Horns
and swine during the state fair at Ovation.
ma the first week in September; this is q
new feature, and will undoubtedly be
great attraction.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18
FIELD AND FARM.
hints for Farming.

The American Cultivator truly says:
"a farmer has no more right to grow a
crop of weeds upon his own land to fur
nish seed to trouble his neighbors than
he has to build fires upon his own land
where they will oblige the neighbor to
fight the fire in order to protect his own
property from the flames"
The handsomest herd of polled cattle
that ever left Scotland for America was
shipped from Glasgow the past week to
Mr.. Hill, of 81. Paul. For one two-year-
old bull Mr.. Ii. paid $1,000
How soon can this sort of thing be
said of areasjust as large as this country?
The total acreage of Scotland is 1885,
1914. Ofthis one single nobleman owns
l,326, 900 acres and his wife l49, 1916. An
other has AL 900 acres; third 424, 600;
q fourth 478,00O. Twelve proprietors
own one-quarter Of the whole acreage;
seventy prOprietors own one-half. Nine
tenths of Scotland belong to 100 per-
sons, and, in the words of Truth, "a ,0OO,-
600 Scotchmen spend their lives earning
rent for these nonopolists."
Hay changes in weight considerably
according to the weather. A bale ofhay
suspended on a steel-yard in barn va
ried in weight from 81 pounds, after
three months of dry, hot weather, to
ll5 pounds in the spring, after the snow
had all melted, and after some rainy
weather and, just now weighs ll2
pounds. Hay in NOW would probably
change somewhat less than this, being
heaviest two or three weeks after it has
been made. lightest after drv fall, and
regaining considerable weight in the
damp weather of spring. The bale test
ed as abo7e was chiefly clover and q
small proportion of timothy.
Now is the time for the wise and thrift.
ty dairymen to prepare for the annual
shrinkage of milk. in consequence of the
usual drying up of feed. Cows should be
kept up to their regular flow through
July and August by extra feed. If they
once shrink their milk, they cannot be
brought back in the fall months when
the milk is worth double what it is now.
A little money and extra labor laid ont
for the next two months, will pay richly
in strong flow in the fall MONTHS
Cromwell.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18
Werecommend Wise's Axle Grease.

After having used large number of prep
arstions for Catarrh, l have become satisfied
that OF them all Ely's Cream Balm gives me
the most relief. I can recommend it to any
one who may haya Gold in the Head or
Hay Fever.-S. B. Lewis. Principal Graded
School, Clinton, Wis.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18
Father ia Getting Well.

'My daughters say:
Glow much better father is since he used
Hop Bitters."
''He is getting well after his long suffer-
ing from q disease declared incurable"
"Ano we are SO glad that we used your
Bitters." A LADY of Utica, N. Y.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

Perry Davis Pain Filler Ia an excellent
regulator of the stomach and bowels, and
should always be kept on hand. especially
at this season of the yeaE, when 80 many
suffer from bowel complaints. There ie
nothing 80 quick to relieve In attacks OF
cholera.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

The best home made bread is com.
posed of flour, water, salt, and yeast;
the addition of milk, butter, or sugar is
dictated soley by the taste of the bread
maker, and not by any sanitary con-
sideratiOn. Bakers claim that the best
bread is made with liquid bakers or
brewers yeast, and by the heightened
process of raising" it over night. l am
inclined to think that the bread made
most quickly is the best, if it is light,
because none of it's nutritious elements
are lost by fermentation, and shall re-
turn to this question later.
To make two lOaves ofordinary home
made bread put three pounds of -four
into bread-pan, and make hollow in
the middle of the -four; mix together
one gill of good yeast, a teaspoonful of
salt, and pint OF warm water (tempera-
ture SO degrees Fahr.,> aud pour them
into the -four, using the hand to mix
and beat all these ingredients together
until a smooth soft dough is formed
which does not stick to the hands in
working it; if the flour is good, more
than the first pint of water
may be required to form the
dough; if, or the other hand. the
flour lacks gluten and abounds in starch
it may be necessary to add little more
of it. When the dough can be worked
easily, knead it for five minutes, then
gather it in lump, lift it and -four the
pan under it, dust little -four over the
top, and cover the bread-pan with a
thick towel folded several times. Place
the pan where the temperature is not
over 9S8 Fair, and let the bread stand
overnight. When the dough is swollen
to about twice its first size, and is full of
little holes like sponge, kneed it again
for fifteen minutes. Touring the hands
enough to prevent the dough sticking to
them, and divide into two loayes, put
ting each one into buttered baking-pan
set the pans near the fire, cover them
with folded towel, and let the loaves
veil to twice their first size; then prick
them two or thre times with fork, and
put them into a moderate oven to
bake. When the loaves are deli
cately Drowned brush them over the
top with very little melted butter,
and return them to the oven for five
minutes; decide if they are cooked by
thrusting trusting needle or thin met
al skewer into them, and if it is dry
when withdrawn take them from the
oven, and cool them before rsing.-Juliet
Tnnoo,,
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18
would Burr His Shirt

Metellus of Macedon was evidently sly
old fellow, and he used to say che would
burn his shirt il il knew his true Intentions.
Were he living to-day, he would no doubt
burn his shirt to get bottle of Aliens Iron
Tonic Bitters, ii he could not ''catch on" in
any other way, for it is " ell known, the old
for remedy for the chronic arrangement Of
the liver and system. All genuine bear the
signature of J. P. Allen, st. Paul, Mimi.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

LEwIsvILLE, IND.-Rev. ]. 8. Cain says: ~
used Browns Iron Bitters for nervous pros
tration and found it entirely satisfactory.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

SPARTA, TENN.-Dr. w. b. Cummings says:
81 am strongly convinced of the efficacy of
Browns Iron Bitters and recommend
there"
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

The presidential party spent Sunday al
Wyoming, the highest peaK on the Union
Pacific.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

Lyons Patent Heel Srffeners keep new
boots and shoes from running over. Sold
by shoe and hardware dealers. Is cents q
pair,
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

A full feeling after meals, dyspepsia,
heartburn and general i'll health relieved
by Browns Iron Bitters
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

When Talmage preached at Corinth, KY,
recently over 200 rose for prayer.
WELLS ROUGH on CoRNs."-15c. Ask for it
Complete permanent Corns. warts bunlons
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

Texas fever has broken out among the
cattl e at Dodge City, KaEs.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

Wanted man or lady in every town TO
sell valuable medicines-paying, permanent
business-Write Home Health Co., Mime
anOlis Miun
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

Poisoned ice cream made havoc at o
church fair in Camden. G..
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18
PerSOnal-Mcn ONLY.

PERSONAL---VERY. Only.
The Voltac Belt Co., Marshall, Mich, will send
Dr.. Dyes Celebrated Electro Votaic Belts and
Electric Appliances trial fer thirty days to men
young or old who af1ictedwith nervous debility,
lost vitality and kindred troubles. guaranteeing
speedy and complete restoration of health and
manly yigor. Address as above. N. B.-No risk
Is incurred, as thirty days trial is allowed.
Mensman's PeptOn; Zed Becf Tonic, the only
preparation of beef containing its entire nutritious
properties. It contains bIood-making, fo csgenera-
ting and DEMONSTRATING properties invaluable for
Indigestion, Dyspepsia nervous prostration, and
all forms of general debility: also, in all enfeebled
conditions whether the result of exhaustion, nervous
prostitution oyerwork, acute disease. particularly
il resulting from pulmonary complaints. CAswELL,
HAZARD Co., Proprietors, New York. Sold by
Druggists.
Nervousness, Nervous Debility. Neuralgia Nervous
Shock, St. Vitus Dance, Prostitution and all diseases
of Nerve GeneratiTe Organs all permanently and
radically cureo by Aliens Brain Food the great bot
anical remedy. 81 pkg, for So. At druggists, or
by mail from j. II. Allen, 3lj First Avenne N. Y.
Sa,G wi
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

Gen. Hazen, chief of the signal service
bureau, is visiting Fort Omaha.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18
HAY.EEYER.

I have suffered for eight
years with Hay Fever, during
July, August and Septem Der.
In July / resorted to Ely'e
Cream Balm; have been entire
ly free from the fever ever
since. ] can recommend it as a
cure. EDWARD C. HILLMAN,
State Arsenal, Trenton, N. ].
CREAM BALM will, when an
piled by the finger into the nos
trils, be absorbed, effectuaIIy
cleansing the nasal passages Of
catarrhal virus, causing healthy
secretions. Il allays inf1amma-
ton, protects the membranal
Innings of the head from colds /:
completely heals the sores and
restores the sense of taste and
smell. Beneficial results are
re allied by a few applications.
n thorough tTedtmeItt GciLI cure.
in the head. Agreeable to use.
D cents a package, by mail or at
rurn0 nfxyl6rn ~ V
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

"BUcHU-PAIBA Quick. complete cure, all annoy
ing Kidney and Urinary Diseases. 81.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

A death from diptheria is reported at
Delano Wright county
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

trough ON RATs"-Cears out rats, mice, hies
reaches, bed-bugs ants yermin, chipmunks. 15c.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

SKINNY MEN-sWells Health Kenswer" restores
health and vgor. cures dyspepsia impotence. u.
Wabashaw county lost $50. 600 in bridges
by the late storm.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

The stearns county far will he held at
ST. Cioud Sept % and 81.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-08-18

Wise's Axle Grease never gums,
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-08-25

We find The following paragraph in our
exchanges. represented to be the opinion
recently expressed by John ID. Gillett, the
Illinois ca.llc king, to visitor at his farm
near Elkhart in that state:
We have passed the time when there IS
any profit IN growing steers first ana fat
tening them attcrward That answered
every purpose when We had such range
that the actual cost OF keeping was Gov
cred 10y the hire rt hrrd.m4n aud the
cutting vi Il few tons Of prairie hay to
winter theni. 1t takes an immense capital
70 carry herd Of steers to 3 years old, and
then commence The fatlenIng process.
am done with ii. shall turn OIL that lot
OF 3 yearods this tall, AID viii never have
another 3-year-old on my farm. Those
calves there | shall put on To oats before
weaving, and keep hog fat rs they grow
During the tall and winter shall increase
the Oa's, ard run them on the corn before
spring. Tins feeding | shal! continue, and
Will make "a 800 pound steer at from 20
20 % months Old. The tendency 10 take
on Ia, Is always vigorous in youth, AID by
feeding in this way not only take advaD-
capital during at least two years, danger
Of accident, disease aud other losses. Old
cr cattle are always more rrstl IS II takes
better fences TO keep them, and they arc
more uncomfortable customers. nave
sown 100 acres OF oats, all Of which ! eX
pect to feed. Calves will 10 better on an
ground oats than anything else hut 10y tho
jrjm" they are Il year CID corr Is the thing
Next spring shall ,pay half of my heli-
prS, and will make "a iiAe breve~ al > years
past ~ can from The steers. pracliCct
feeding ou grass eIgHt years before anyone
else would try It, and was Obliged 10 over
cone She prejudice that existed. They salC
| | WAS a fool, but the testimony Is that
was right. Now, no one disputes II
Those who want 10 continue IN the praC
tice OF growing steers for feeling must g
| farther west
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-08-25
A Cjbicaro Dude,

Some Young ladies are very expert
with the type-writers. The Railway
Exposition is closed, and it is now in
order to tell the following story in point
of the pretty blonde young lady whose
taper fingers played = Typewriter on
exhibition there. Two youths in swell
attire stopped before her booth one day
during the Exposition, and one OF them
asked for Il sample of type-wrtlng.
Quickk her fingers flew over the keys.
and Slip of paper inscribed, This is
n sample of So-and-So's Typewriter, y
was handed 10 the youth. pretty lit
tie hand. isn't it?' murmurcd his com
panior. The Girl colored, but devoted
herself to playing on the machine,
pretty little hand. repeated the young
man, pulling his muStachc and trying
to look captivating. Then the Girl look
ed up: SHOULD Won like some type
writing she asked, shyly. The young
man took the paper gratefully, II sweet
and tender smile of triumph adjoining
his liz. Bu, the smile faded and "A
tck-.ooking creature sncaked away
from .hc coNqGr.ug presence. The
paper She gave him read: This IS a
aamr't OF the Chicago dude. '-lnter-
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-08-25
A Growing State.

Charlie, Hallock the author, writes
us: Texas has now Il population of two
millions She can easily support fifty
millions of people. Everybody in Tex
as works, and yet one fifth of lastycar's
cotton crop still stands in the field I'M
picked. Enough cotton has gone to
waste in single harvest to furnish ev-
ery inhabtant OF the United States with
new shirt. Even the penitcntiary
convicts, several thousand strong, are
impressed into the field Experiments
have demonstrated that vast extent of
lands. heretofore regarded as sterile, or
fit only for grazing, will yield hand
somely almost any crop planted; but
Texas requires no more agricultural
soil. She would not have it il she
could; for then she would not have no
wide ranges for her cattle, or pastures
for her sheep. There are now five mill
lion head Of cattle in the State. and two
million head of sheep. OF the latter,
one million belong to the three counties
of Webb, Dimmitt, and Encinal, on the
Rio Grandc. and half million to the
Abilene district, on the TeXas-P Pacific Il.
r.. embracing some fourteen counties
in the center of the State. There are
also great many large herds OF goats,
which produce a s.l.,an fleece Of the
longest staple and most delicate text
urc. have seen the fleece of sheep
whose staple measured sixteen inches
Amcriears lYri,alVrisi jor JURY.