Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1883-11-16
FUN

FUN
Refined Conversation Where No One is
at Loss for Words
~ IEnter Thomas and Charles.]
Thomas and C.narles-"Good evening.
ladies'
Kate owdy do, Charley, Tom 7
Where have you been this aee2"
Josephine.-Sure enough Henry Brown
was in just now. Did you meet him?"
Thomas 'sHen is great fellow, amt
he? Did he give you lecture on metem-
psychosis or dissertation on frogs legs
as a remedy for the unsettled condition
of the labor market2"
Kate.-Oh, Tom you're too hard on
Henry You shouldn't have said that be-
fore mamma. But his conversation is
little tedious sometimes
Charles.-"H muff."
observation-disclosures the news?"
Thomas .-s'Ain't any. Charley, who
was that girl you were SO sweet on in the
cars this afternoon?"
Charles. didn't mash her, thought"
Josephlne.-''Oh, you naughty boyl''
Thomas. Charley gets the bulge on
all Of us.'
Charles. did you get those Gig
arettes, Tom? Boss ones ~
Thomas.-"Got 'em in New York
Can't get decent cigarette in Boston.
Have tried 'em all. By the way, Charley.
you want to try Snigglefrltzs beer. Beats
anything in town. Drank six glasses
there last niqht.''
Charles s'Who beat this afternoon"
Thomas.-s'The Long Stockings-six to
nothing--regular whitewash. Catche-
mup's an awful muffer, and Slick pounded
the Yellar Legs all over the field. But we
must be going, Charley. Goud-bY, Joe !;
good-by, Kate"
Chasiey.-" Good-b girls"
Kate and Josephine-"G Should
think you might stop longer, though
Exit Thomas and Charles.''l
Kate.-"Tom's nice fellow, isn't hep"
Josephine.-"What splendid CONVEX
sationalist ~
Kate.-"Oh. yes; Tom can talk on any
subject
Josephine.-"H He isn't much like Hen
Fy.
Kate.-"No,I hope not. No matter
what comes up, Toms never lost for
word. He's 80 entertaining. And then
one learns so much talking with him.
Boston Traveller.
AN UNEXPECTED QUESTION POPPED.
miss NJ, may ask you very lm-
portant question ?'' said bashful young
man to young lady whom he had been
paying attention to for some time, and be
spoke in the most uneasy, sepulchral voice
imaginable. why said the young lady,
some what surprised at the solemn turn of
affairs. 81 don't know that there would be
any serious objection if you have an i'm
portant question to ask.' well. draw
ing little closer and in more confden-
tial whisper, ''do you think this propiti-
Gus time ?" ''There's no one near to
hinder that I see,'' was the coquettish
answer, as the young lady glanced around
the room. "And do you-do you think
that-that you could grant the request 20
why, really, MIR. -, how can you ex
pect me to answer before [ know the
question ?'' ''Yes-true-rea'ly-w well
-well-' swell, what ?'' with just the
slightest Impotence in her voice. well
you see, bad been thinking for somt
time. if-jf there vas really no objection,
should like to ask you with what-what
sort of powder you clean your teeth.
had noticed how nicely" but the slam
ming of door as the young lady whisked
out of the room broke short his sentence
and after awaiting her return for fifteen
minutes, he took his hat and in mild sur
prise wandered homeward. The next day
he told his most intimate friend that Miss
M-was ''a little off, the night before, but
he couldn't think of any thing that he had
said or done to offend her.
AFREE RIDE.-"Fare." said railway
conductor to an old negro.
.'Sah 2"
II say, fare.''
''Yas, an we's needin' rain, too.''
81 say, want your ticket oryour fare
s'Oh, yer wants money!"
YES, hurry up.''
''How much does yer want 20
Where are you going 20
aSah p
How far are you going ?''
ssDon't know how many miles it is"
'sWbat is the name of the station 2''
''Jones's woodward"
Fifty cents.''
II amt got no money
well, what made you get on p
Zoos l wanted to ride, but stop de Cal
an I'll get off, fur it pears like 1 ain't
welcome heah, nohow. Good day, bnss.
Dis is de woodward. Traveller
One of the letters of introduction Miss
Kate Field brought with her to Denver was
from Sir Charles Dixie to Judge McCurdy.
She sent note to the Windsor hotel office
asking where the judge could be fornd.
The answer came back: s.Don't know;
he's been dead eight years.
A lady said her husband will sit on a
barbed wire fence all the afternoon to see
baseball match, and never move mus
Gle, but when he goes to church he can't
sit in cushioned pew for fifteen minutes
without wiggling all over the seat, and
changing his position forty times.