, 1883-07-21
Entertaining a Missionary.

'Ma'sup stairs changing her dress"
said the freckle-faced little girl, ty-
ing her dolls bonnet strings and
casting her eye about for a tidy large
enough to serve as shawl for that
dOuble-jointed young person.
''Oh, your mother needn't dress
up for me-" replied the female agent
Of the missionary society, taking a
self-satisfied view of herself in the
mirror. "Run up and tell her to
come down justas sheis in her every
day clothes, and not stand on cere-
mOny."
"Oh, but she hasn't got on her
everyday clothes. Ma was all dress
ed up in her new brown silk, cause
she expected Miss Dimond to-day.
Miss Dimond always comes over TO
show off her nice things, and ma
don't mean to get left. When ma
saw you coming she said the Dick
ems and l guess she was mad about
something. Ma said II you saw her
new dress she'd have to hear all about
the poor heathen, who don't have
silk, and you'd ask her for more
money to buy. hymn books to send to
'em. Say, do the niger ladies use
hymn book leaves to do their hair up
IN 70 make 4 frizzy z Ma says
she guesses that's all the good the
books do 'em II they ever get any
books. wish my doll was a heathen."
"Why, you wicked little girl, what
do you want OF a heathen doll ?'' in
quired the missionary lady, taking a
mental Inventory Of the new things
in the parlOr to get material for a
homily on worldly extravagance.
$50 folks would send her lots Of
nice things to wear and feel sorry to
have her going about naked. Then
she'd have her hair to friz, and l
want doll with truly hair, and eyes
that roll up like Deacon Sliderback's
when he says amen on Sunday. l
amt a wicked girl, cause Uncle Dick
you know Uncle Dick-he's been
out west, and swears awful and
smokes in the hOuse-he says Pm a
holy terror, and hopes I'll be an angel
soon. Mall be down In a minute, so,
you needn't take your cloak of. She
said she'd box my ears II asked you
to. Mas putting on that old dress
she had last year, cause she said she
didn't want you to think she was
able to give much this time, and she
needed a new muff worse than the
queen Of cannon ball island needs re-
ligion. Uncle Dick says you Oughter
go to the island, cause you'd be safe
there, and the natifs'd be sorry they
was such sinners thatanybOdy would
send you to 'em. He says he never saw
a heather hungry enough to eat you,
less It twas blind one, an you'd
set a blind pagan's teeth on edge so
he'd never banker after any more
missionary. Uncle Dicks awful
funny and makes pa and me die
Laughing sometimes"
"Your Uncle Richard is u bad, de-
praved wretch, and ought to have re-
mained out west, where his style is
appreciated. He sets a horrible ex-
ample for little girls like yOu."
ooh, / think he's nice. He showed
me how to slide down the bannisters,
and he's teaching me to whistle when
ma amt around. That's pretty
cloak you've got, amt It? Do you
buy all your good clothes with mis-
sionary money! Ma says you do"
Just then the freckle-faced little
girls ma came into the parlOr and
kissed the missionary lady on the
cheek and said she was delighted to
see her, and they proceeded to have
real social chat. The little girls
ma can't understand why a person
who processes to be so charitable as
the missionary agent does, should go
over to Miss Dimond's and say such
ill-natured things as she did, and she
thinks the Missionary dOuble-faced
gossip.