The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-10-31
WIT AND PLEASANTLY.

Women kise each other when they meet,
and prize fighters shake hands.
Very few men are so stingy that they will
not share kiss with pretty girl.
Long courtships are to be avoided -espec-
tally when they last until o'clock in the
morning.
A case is on record where barber and his
victim were both happy. The barber talked
on without interruption, and the latter was
deaf.-Toledo American.
How can a woman expectto write poetry
when she Is herself poem? How can the
lily produce anything lovlier than itself, or
the rose perfume sweeter than its own
DR.. Moore.
No, indeed; there's no place like home"
signed the married man who tripped over
the coal shuttle and fell into a wash tub
while fumbling around for match to light
the kitchen fire.
Whittier departs the perfume of the rose?
Into what life does musc's golden sound?'
asks Celia Thaxter in poem. Presume they
go the same way the odor of Limburger
cheese and blast on fog horn,
do you ever gambler" she asked, as they
sat together, her hand in his He replied
No, but If / wanted to now would be my
time" "How 500" Because / hold a
beautiful hand.' The engagement is an
nOunced.
She was sweetly inexperienced young
housekeeper as one may gather from her re.
mark when some one suggested that she
should purchase spring mattresses. Yes"
she replied, If they are in season we'd better
have some"
A ScoIehman standing by the family grave
said: There lie my grandfather and my
gran 'mither, and my ain father and mither
and there lies my brither Bob, and my puir
girl Jennie, and there lies my wife; and, if
I'm spared, here I'll lie too"
A woman who is kissed by mistake in the
dark always screams and makes great row
about il, but you can wager she is provoked
in another way when the man commences to
offer excuses AID says ne Wouldn't have done
it II be had known S'ssom it was.
A late novel marries off its heroine under
the prescription of the family physician as
the only means OF saving her from insanity.
The diagnosis OF the case was emnently cor
rect for where everything else fails, mar
Tiage is sure TO bring the loyesick baby back
10 their senses.
so you really think the young man who
occupied the seat with you stole your watchp"
Yes sir" why do you think SOP BE
cause he sat so close and pressed up to me-"
"And why did you allow itr Because-be-
cause-I thought he was making love to me-"
From the German.
1T does seem that this child is a long time
in learning to talk" said a lady to her bus-
band, meaning her little girl. "Ah, well,
said the cynical gentleman, don't worry
yourself about her beginning. She'll doubt
less know how to talk many years before she
knows how to stOp.-Arkansaw Traveller.
Statistics state that there are two million
widows in the German Empire. Ii has here
tofore been understood that young men leave
Germany for this country In order to escape
compulsory military service, but after read
ing the foregoing statement we are in posses
Il A. frr~ f,ntr
grafton.
A Chicago man wanted a divorce because
his wife persisted in singing hymns. The
court Just laughed at him, and he would
have lost his case had not his lawyer sum-
moBed the wife to the witness stand and
started her singing. At the end Of the fifth
verse the court threw up the sponge and the
divorce was granted.
A rural young lady visited the Philadel-
phia Geological Garden, and when she re-
turned home she told her mother that one of
the monkeys spoke to her. A girl who can't
distinguish dude from a monkey should be
given a few lessons in natural history. The
monkey is the most intelligent looking, but
doesn't wear such ridiculous clothes.-Nor-
Tjstown Herald.
Mary" said Philadelphia mother, the
other morning, Mary, heard you coax
young Mr.. Blank to remain as he arose to 90
when the clock struck ten last evening.
Mary, it was wrong in you; shy did you do
SOP why. now" artlessly replied the
maiden, Mr.. Blank is very good company,
and you know you have always taught me
to keep good company, and i have kept
him."
A New England lady was asking her cook,
the other day. abouta waitress she proposed
TO hire, and said: Mary, is she Irish?" mo
ma'am,n said Mary, "she's American" "What
is her name Marv?'' Bridget O'Conner
ma'am." ''Why. then of course she is Irish.
Mary" No, ma'am she was born in Lynn.
''Ob, but that makes 40 difference, Mary;
she is not an American" well, in faith,
perhaps she amt ma am. The tell me the
real ones is red
A rural Baptist minister in Hawkins Coun-
~, Tennessee, just before the war of the
stump sucker variety somewhere in his SER
mon entertained his congregation as follows
My dear brethren, ah, as / was coming to
church. alb. met a skep;ic, alb. He asked
me if believed the Bible, ah. told him
did, all. If believed that story about the
Ark, an. and about the raven sent out OF
the Ark that never came came back, alb.
told him believed il all, an. Well, said the
skeptic, / have one question to ask, ah; if
that raven never came back, pointing up to
the sky ne asked where did all these ravens