National Republican., 1883-02-24


ton.
YELLow-HAIRED girls have taken to tho
wearing of velvet coats Of u reddish chocolate
hue in order TO emphasize the luster Of their
locks.
"rM not an allopath, q homeopath, or o by
dropath," said a certain doctor. "But your pa
tients all take the same PATH" was the consoling
answer.
OSCAR WILDE, since his return to London,
is reported TO have said and written all sorts Of
uukind and sarcastic things about America and
Americans.
AN infant in Natick, Mass, has met its
death through the mistake" OF drug clerk. The
doctors certificate says 1t died Of "conyulsions
and mlsadventure"
NEW YORK pays $7,000O00 year for its re-
ngion and s220O OOO lor its drinks, which goes to
show that New York is having moro fun in this
world than 1t will in the next.
THERE is only one chestnut tree in Scott
county, Missouri. The early worm IN that vi
cinity will have to arise long before daylight to
get ahead Of the previous small boy.
THERE is chap in Philadelphia who wants
to marry Louise Montague. As this lady has just
come into possession Of $50, he Is supposed TO 10
willing to put up with her personal appearance
for the sake Of the money.
AFFAIR and accomplished young DR..
Fell in love with a lady named Pr,
But his terms scientific,
Came forth so terrific,
That they really and truly quite shr.
A MINISTER was once preaching as a candi-
date, and took for his text, "And sitting down
they watched him there" An old deacon said aB
he was going out, "Yes; he is not the first one we
have sat and watched. and he will not be the last
either"
Ex-JUDGE WILLIAM LEWIS, an eccentric
character of Texas who died IN Dallas few days
ago. was with Houston in the battle of San Jacinto
He died 80 poor that bis remains were about 10 be
borne TO a pauper's grave. when u few men raised
500 to give him decent burial.
KING HUMBERT of Italy drives himself
about In 7 cart like any other quiet gentleman
in Rome. When his carriage gets blocked, us Il
frequently does in the narrower streets, he takes
II more patiently than the foreigners do, who ad-
mre the way In which he sits and mods and
laughs to acquaintances In the crowd.
A woULD-BE musical sharp, after listening
to an operate solo on the oornet by n celebrated
performer. who visited Austin last summer, turned
to his neighbor and asked: "What Is that air out
Off" "out Of the bugle. Of course. DO you think
1t comes out of his nose H'--Teras St1tngs.
THE medical society of Scott county, Iowa,
woman physician of Davenport, as its president
for the ensuing year. This is the first instance In
the history OF the medical fraternity In which
woman has been chosen for the executive position
of u medical society.
UNLESS the newspapers stop calling the
Episcopal marriage service beautiful" and tho
funeral service impressive" or grand" or
stately" every time marriage or funeral Is
solemnized by their use, the Boston Herald says,
people will stop using them. For this purpose
those adjectyes are entirely and totally worn out.
On q recent morning horse car was
crowded with passengers, and on one Of them
leaving the car a gentleman was about to eft
down, but seeing lady offered the seatto her aud
said 81 am from Vermont, and never sit down
when q lady stands In q horse car" The lady
bowed and replied. 81 can say have met Ver-
mont gentleman"
AN apple in perfect preservation, although
00 years old, is in possession of gentleman ih
Ulster county. As II rounded up from the blossoms
Of the parent stem in the early summer of 1857
bottle was drawn over II and attached to the
branch and after the apple had ripened the stem
was severed and the bottle sealed tightly. 1t looks
as fresh as when first plucked.
"a LITTLE batch of brick and iron dumped
down in a narrow space facing on a mere alley.
and about as large and snowy as a respectable
| junk shop" is the United States subtreasury in
| san Francisco, as described by the Call. In the
vaults under this unpretenlious building, how
ever, are heaps Of bags containing gold and sill.
yer, amounting one day last month TO SH,6OO,000
in silver coin and over s2O,0O0OOO in gold, while
the safes contained sSoOO,OOO In paper currency
IMPORTANT to bachelors: There seems to
be good opening for the right man in tue follow
ing, which speaks for itself: Husband dead a
year ago; any gentleman feeling inclined to fill
| van address Mrs. Elizahath Enpl Canaan.
che, Iowa. My age is 40 years, height four and
a-half feet weight 26 pounds, complexion dark,
hair dark, eyes gray, and have four false teeth
| in the lower jaw. / have got money enough to
keep two of us the rest Of our days, and can whip
any man that will vote for the amendment"
THERE is a boy eight years old whose par
ents live In White county, Ark They are highly
esteemed citizens and people Of decided culture
and refinement The boy has never been heard,
nor can he be induced by any means, to utter his
| fathers name or address him even indirectly.
His strategy is more than equal to both his par
ents and the other members Of the family, who
have laid all manner of plans to force him into a
single utterance ofhls fathers name. Upon one
occasion they planned not to get him any boots
until he asked for them like the others, but this
was failure also, for he went on through the
snow with his bare feet Just us though he were In
calfskin to his knees, Ho has profound respect
for his father aud viii follow him about the farm
for a whole day at q time.-S Louis Globe Demo.
Graf.
THE fact that Nine. Modieska has intro
duced professional wrestler by the name OF Mul.
doom into the first act Of her "As You Like IT,
seems to have excited the envy Of Miss Emma
Abbott, the enterprising prima donna. Hereto
fore it has been the latters good fortune to intro.
duce all such innovations II was she who con.
ceived and executed the idea Of singing Nearer
l "a tg Hoo aa ,HVA 49,
who introduced trained Siberian bloodhound
J into Lucia di Lammermoor" who inlerpolated
swanee River" in King for Day" who lugged
a real live baby into La Trayiata," who had
tuapeze performance In" Romeo and Juliet" ant
a trained mule in II Troyatore." Her neglect L
improylse a scheme whereby wrestling mattel
might either precede or follow one Of her charm
ipg arias in "Paul and Virginia" is something
we cannot explain. If The truth must be spoken
we fear she is deterlorating. and unless immedi
ate steps are taken TO correct this impression,
will become general Denver Tribune.