The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-13
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


The postage stamp knows its duty
and sticks to it.-Erchange.
The following advertisement APP
pears in Mississippi paper: ga fine
monument for sale at this Office"
Darwin says monkeys could blush.
This relieves the dude of the suspicion of
belonging to the monkey tribe.-Boston
Transcript.
Eugene L. Didier accuses Jenny
son of plagiarism Tennvson? We
have heard of Didier; but who in the
Dickens is Tennyson. -N0rriStOWn Her.
aid.
She Had a Boil:
The girl walked slowly down the aisle,
Her looks made all the people smaisle,
For on her nose she had baisle--
This lovely maiden without gaiSle.
OIL city Derrick.
Smoking may be bad habit" he
said, as he rode beside pretty Phiia-
delphia girl, ''but that habit of yours is
perfectly killing The marriage took
place the next day Philadelphia Nee0s.
"A country boy drank pint of
whisky, went in swimming, ate lot of
green apples, drank some ice water,
went to bed, and was found dead in the
morning. Too much ice water Teas
SJtjogs,
Friend to artist: 81 see the art
committee rejected that picture of
yours" Artist: Eyes, and it's all be-
cause one of the members was preju-
diced against me. But I'll get even,
you bet" Friend: I'm tell you how
to get your revengen Artist: ''How?"
Friend: paint his portrait"
-Ex-President Farrar, who was de-
tanned from the recent English Wesley
an Conference by age and feebleness,
stated in his letter to that body that
sixty years had elapsed since he had
preached his trial sermon, and that he
had known every President of the con-
ference since 1S18.-DetrO& Post.
The late DR.. Motlat, the venerable
missionary, became so accustomed to
l''roughing it, in Africa that when he
returned to England he could not sleep
comfortably on soft pillow. So for
his use at home he had one made of
wood, and when he was visiting friends
he asked them to put block of wood
or wooden footstool at the head of his
bed.-N. Y Tribune.
Enquirer; If a man came up and
poked us in the stomach, and grabbed
our cigar, and gave it to newsboy,
and tapped us on the nose, would we
tell him he was fresh? We might; but
we should do so as an afterpiece to the
administration of walloping that
would remain the uppermost men,
DRY in that mans mind till he was
blown up on steamboat.-N Y Post.
Rev. DR.. John L. Smith, of the
Northwest Indiana Conference, has
published in pamphlet form, "a plea in
behalf of worn-out preachers, widows
and orphans, with a prayer to the gen
eral conference of 1884" 1t contains
also the papers of Rev. C. A. Brooke,
ID. D., and other articles, all bearing
on the same subject The discussion
and eXhortation of these papers is Wig
orous and urgent. Chicago Journal.
"A boy was going up Sycamore
Street yesterday with a glass inkstand
to fill. Every few steps he would toss
1T into the air and catch it again. He
did it successfully until the last time,
when 1t landed gracefully on the pave
ment in athousand pieces He looked
at 1t about a minute, and then said:
1T serves the old man RIGHT. [ told
him before | started that couldn't
carry that thing up street. "-OH city
DeTrscE.
An Irishwoman can always man.
age to tell very disagreeable truth in
a very agreeable way. slow did your
husband die?" asked the Judge very
sternly. "Well, sir, very student like"
was the reply. But what was the
matter with him?" "Why, believe,
SIR he fell out of window, or through
a KIND OF cellar door, or something of
that sort" "How far did he fallp"
Not more than five or six feet, Yer
Honor "And how could such fall
as that kill him?" "You see. sir. there
was was bit of stirring or cord, or that
like and it got round poor Mixes neck,
ana he never spoke a word after il
Chicago Herald.