Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-10-02
BRIGHT BITS.

"WHAT station do you call ths"' asked
a man as he crawled out Of the ruins Of a
carriage after a railway accident. De-
yastation, SIR replied fellow-passen-
ger.
A FIREMAN, who poisoned some cold
meat TO settle a dog, and then ate 1t
with his luncheon, has got new and I'M
proved memory since the doctors sue
ceeded in getting the meat back
AN obituary notice in the Newark D0tty
ADVERTISER concludes: "She was the light
Of the household, an excellent musician,
and "A faVOrite with all who knew her.
Also OF David Burtchaell, for many years
an uphOsterer with Douglas q Son."
..WHo defeated HancOck?' asks the
New York Herdid. Well, we won't lie
about our share in it. We helped, and
would have done it all by ''OurselP' had
we been able. Now let the rest Of the
Republican party own up, and let's see
what the Herdid is going to do about It,
Buriingt0H Hd1keye.
.sGENTLEMEN,' - remarked IA lOng-wind-
ed chairman, after an address OF some
thing less than an hour; gentlemen, we
want unison IN the party, cohesion. as 1t
were: we want-we want harmony. so
do We" shouted Disguised listener, in
tcrrupting the speaker; ''give us har-
mOny. Let the band play and you sit
down. p BOStOH COHrter.
BANK CAsHIER-"YOu must have some
body 10 identify,yOu.' Stranger" Under
stand all that; brought this gentleman
with me for that purpose" Bank Cash
ier-"But don't know him. stranger
s.Of course not, but ] shall make you ac-
duainted Permit me to introduce you to
my frielA Mr. Smith There you are.
Now. smith, Introduce me to your friend,
please"
a CLERGYMAN was descanting to the
boys in a day school on the necessity of
growing up good and useful citizens. In
order to give emphasis to his remarks by
appealing to their patriotic feelings he
pointed TO a large flag hung up on the
wall Of the school and exclaimed: Boys.
what is that fOrT' A little urchin who
understood the condition Of the room bet
ter than the speakers rhetoric, shouted
out, TO hide the dirt, slrr
\ FAMOUS ARTIST made a painting in
whitehall the different nations Of Tie
earth were represented in the peculiar
dress of the country. Instead, however,
Of clothing the Frenchman he drew him
in his shirt. with a bundle Of cloth under
his arm. Being asked the reason, be re-
piled: .'The French dress themselves so
many different ways. and change their
fashions so often. that, whatever dress |
should put on him in a short time he would
not be known; having the stuff. he may
cut to his liking
Il REMEMBER" says a correspondent,
s.once breakfasting with NJ. Theirs. There
were six Projects at table. Cod was served.
VI. Theirs took a large plateful. He then
took the oil cruet and poured nearly the
whole Of the contents over the cod. was
alarmed at seeing an old man preparing
to eat such dish, and could not refrain
from asking whether he was not afraid Of
doing himself some harm. NO, no. he re-
piled, i want 10 show these gentlemen
that | am capable of governing, because
have an easy digestion "
IL the window of a shop devoted to the
sale Of hardware and kitchen furnishings,
the sign, "IrOn Sinks" appears in letters
of considerable size. The other afternoon
an individual, whose ideas had become
somewhat confused by the combined ac-
ton of heat and alcohol, came along that
way and beheld this announcement,
whereupOn he braced himself against a
convenient lamp post. and sapiently NOR
allied as follows: "Well, ! hate a fool,
Man must be an ash to sthck-hic-up
such a sign as that. Iron shinks. Wash
er use putting that up in the window?
Everybody knows it shinks. Look here -
to the proprietor, who at that moment ap-
peared at the door. ''why don't yer put
Wood floats in yer other winder? Yer
must think the public don't know moth
ing" And thus saying he went away,
shaking his head sapiently and wonder
ing al the shOpkeepeT's simplicity.