The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-04-19
An Experiment.

For some weeks past she Secretary of
the eluo had been in correspondence
with JOHN Quincy Adams Boggie, OF
New Haven, Conn, regarding ma
chine brought out by that person called
the "Aeme. The machine was de-
signed to remove corns, reshape the
foot, relieve chilblains and make bow
legged man walk with the grace of
king. 1t was finally agreed to pay the
inventors fare one way if he would
come to Detroit and exhibit his ma
chine before the club, and in case it
would accomplish what he claimed for
| it sixty-two members would take ma.
chimes and pay spot cash.
Air. Boggie arrived in the city day
or two ago, and Paradise Hall was
scarcely opened for the regular weekly
meeting before be showed up. Much
curiosity and interest were exhibited
by members, and Samuel Shin, Young
Hyson Smith and Whalebone Howker
could hardly wait for the meeting to
| open.
| Brother Gardner not having arrived
| at 7:30, Sir Isaac WalpoIe took the
| chair and opened the meeting, and it
was then announced that The Acme
would be exhibited.
Mr.. Boggle made brief address,
stating his claims and hopes and inten-
| tions, and the machine was placed on
| the floor and made ready for trial. 1t
was a walnut box about two feet long
by eighteen inches wide and a foot high,
| and in the interior was a curious COM
| plication of wheels, knives, springs.
files and jack-planes. The inventor
said he would first like to try the ma
chine on a bow-legged man of sanguine
| temperament, and after some hesitation,
| owing to his excessive modesty, the
| Rev. Penstock came forward. In his
youthful DAYS he one day fell OFF the
| roof of a shed and landed astride of an
| inverted six-pail kettle, and ever since
that hour he has had a pretty fair-sized
tunnel under him.
Every voice was hushed and every
eye peeled as Penstock placed his two
| feet in the box. Then came the whir of
| machinery, and one could hear the click
as the iack-plane struck gravel-stone
or horseshoe nail imbedded in an old
callous or corn. Fifty seconds dragged
| themselves away and then came tear
| inc, grinding sound, followed by loud
report and q shock which upset two
| dozen members. Cog-wheels few
around the hall as thick as snowfiakes,
and Penstock bumped the ceiling and
floor alternately a dozen times. For
| the second time in the history of the
club a foot-compresso and bow-legged-
| remover lad exploded in tackling its
first victim. The members crowded
! around Penstock, and in the excitement
and confusion John Quincy Adams
Boggle rushed Tor the street. As he
went down stairs he was hit in the back
with an old iron kettle, but this only
helped him along the faster.
When something like order was re-
stored in the hall it was found that
eirhteen lights Of glass were broken,
the stove door cracked, two lamps
smashed and the floor badly torn up.
! As for PenstOck, it was sad. When he
| got upon his feet it was found that his
| toes turned in at such an angle as to
! bring his knees inside of his legs. He
was assisted down stairs to be taken
/! home on dray, and the announcement
of his death at the next meeting would
| surprise no one. Brother Gardner came
in about the time the pieces had been
| picked up and quietly observed:
If q man am purity let Us forgive his
lies an tricks an sWindles. If he has
small feet let no one AK whether he pays
| his debtc. Ifhis ha'r curls doan quesh-
I'm his @ineral intelligence. If his knees
hang plumb sot him down as an orator
an a scholar. If he has small feet,
doan' hesitate to Ie him take your mon
ey an invest it for you. Let US now
begin work. '-De5ro6 Free Press.