The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1883-03-02
THE PRESS.

Proctor Knott and the Vermonter.
Washington Correspondent of New York Trib-
une
Proctor Knott, who has the reputation OF
being the best story teller in Kentucky,
where most CT the good story tellers live,
gave an account of an interview with GER
tain Mr.. Watkins of Vermont, which he told
with a skill of facial expression that would
have made his fortune on the stage. The
rules about admission to the floor OF the
house are very strict, and conversation
with member can only be had by sending
in card through the doorkeeper, when the
member. hurries through the talk and goes
in again. AS members are pretty we'll oc-
cupied, it is expected that these interviews
shall be as brief as possible. One day Mr..
Knott received the card of Mr.. Watkins of
Vermont, whom he did not know. He went
out, met long, lean man, with solemn
countenance, and this conversation fol-
lowed:
"Be you Mr.. Knott, the funny man?'
eyes SIR" said Mr.. Knott promptly, and
Pm a great deal funnier than you'd suppose.
The fact is that don't dare to be as funny
as can be. I've already sacrificed the
lives of several of my friends through
reckless exercise of my humorous powers, and
20 about under a constant sense of self-re-
straint."
"Be you from the Blue Glass region or the
Penny-ryal?'
"I'm from the Penny.ryal." Here Mr..
Knott began to be little uneasy They
were just beginning roll-call in the house
Mr.. Watkins shifted to his other foot, and
began again, "Wbat kind of cattle do they
have down in Kentucky2"
FtWell, we still have very fine breed of
the megatherum there. But the pleiosau-
rus and the icthyosaurus, Pm sorry to say,
are rapidly dying out. 1t will be great loss
to the state, because they are very tame, and
have been used great deal for domestic
purposes. A good many of the ladies make
pets of them"
Mr. Watkins seemed a little surprised, but
he got on the other foot and changed the
subject:
"Do you know Mary Anderson9''
ooh, very well.'
SIS she so purty?'
"Ravishingly beautiful
Mr.. Watkins paused moment. Mr.. Knott
could hear the roll-call travelling rapidly
toward the KS. 'Did you ever see her play
Romeo and Juliet?
ooh, frequently"
"Do you think Romeo and Juliet is the
best play Shakespeare ever wrote?'
''Well, now, my friend, you'll have to ex-
cuse me from expressing an opinion on that
point. You see, Pm coming up for re-elec-
ton, and feeling is running pretty high in
my district on that question. About half of
my constituents say that Romeo and Juliet
is the best play Shakespeare ever wrote, and
about half OF them swear it isn't. So you
see if l should sommit myself, it would dam
age me very much in the campaign
"0h," said Mr.. Watkins. Then he pulled
out of his pocket little Connecticut watch,
about the size of a quarter-dollar ''Do they
sell many of them down in Kentucky?'
''Well, Eve forgotten the price per peck"
said Mr.. Knott; "they're usually sold by the
peck. They don't often sell a bushel at
time"
Mr.. Watkins was surprised, but he didn't
go away. He only changed to the other
foot. Meanwhile the reading clerk inside
the hall had begun on the KS. 'tSay, see
in the Tribune that it took a regiment of
men and two cannon to hang a man down
in Kentucky. Now, want to know if that's
sop
''No, sir 1t is not so. That T,y-June is
a most untrustworthy newspaper The
truth is this: We know it has been said
lately in the north that we couldn't hang
man for murder in Kentucky, and so we
made up our minds that we must have a
hanging for the benefit Of the state. There
was trial ending just then, and we agreed
that the fact that the jury had acquitted the
man couldn't be allowed to interfere. To be
sure, he was innocent-it was a perfectly
clear case; but the honor of Kentucky was
at stake, and what could we do? We hanged
him, sir, but it took whole brigade of SOL
diers and park of artillery to dc it? That
shows you just how near the Try-beuae goes
to the facts
"Say, there's another thing | wanted to
ask you about. I've heard that people
smoke and chew during meeting down your
way. That amt so, is it?'
Mr.. Knott was angry at last. ''No, sir,
it's an infamous falsehood. It's true that
the boys usually have poker-deck in their
pockets, and if the sermon is little long,
they get down between the pews and have
little game, and open bottle of whiskey.
But the statement, sir, that they chew to-
bacco during church services is a miserable
lie of the Yankee press"
Mr.. Watkins seemed satisfied with this
assurance. He stood still moment. "Well,
l thought I'd like to make your acquain-
lance, Mr.. Knott" and he went away, and
the Kentucky member fled into the hall in
time to be counted among the stragglers on
the roll-call. He offered to prove BY ''Joe''
Blackburn that this entire conversation ac-
tually took place, but the company preferred
to take the story without any security.