The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-29
NASBY.
A Horrible Dream which was not all
a Dream.
CoNFEDERIT X ROADS.
Wich is in the State OF Kentucky y

/ N
Wich is in the State OF Kentucky,
| November "A, 1888
1 Il he'd very remarkable dreem
last mite, one wich dwell In my mind
all day. / can't shake it off. Sence
/ the Ohio eleckshun / hev credit at
Bascom's. based upon the improved
chances NY hevin the Post0ffis here.
and 1 took ez many ez 20 drinks to
get rid Nv that dreem, but can't.
Methawt 1 wuz in some place,
wher it wuz informed ther wuz to be
weddin celebrated.
Their wuz present John Kelly and
Sammy Cox the Diminutive, Nv Moo
York, Hoadley and Pendleton and
all the prominent Dimekrats NV
Ohio, Ben Butler Nv Massychosits.
Bayartl of Delaware and all the DINE
ekrats NV the kentry wich eggspex
anything, wich incloods pretty much
the entire party, North and South.
A part NV en- wuz jolly and pleas
ed, and part Nv EN- wuz not. Them
from the slums NV Moo York, Chica-
go and Moo Orleans wuz ez jolly ez
grigs, but the more respectable por-
shep, them ez he'd on shirts and coll
lars and cuffs, KEEP ez MUCH in the
background ez possible, ez tho they
didn't more than half approve NV it.
The rank and file wuz strikinly
very much alike. Ther wuz sich a
uniformity in the matter Nv nose,
and samenis in the matter Nv smell
and so yooniform lack NV shirt col
lar, a gineral hungry and thirsty ex
preshun NV CT untenance, that l felt
at home among em to Wunst. 1t re-
quired no stretch Nv the imagina-
shun to suppose myself in Dime
kratic caucus.
The master NV ceremonies give a
signal, the organ pealed forth the
weddin march, and the bride party
entered.
Fust in the perceshn wuz the Dev-
| il, who wuz drest and tried to look ez
much ez possible like priest. wich
wuz failyOor. Their wuz mali
shus grin onto his face, his hOofS
showed very plainly, and he made no
attempt to conceal his horns.
Close behind him followed the
bride and groom. The groom wuz
fritefully battered and bustid apper-
iently half starved. and ez week ez
kitten, He wuz supported on one
side by a Kentucky distillery and on.
the other by a Cincinnati brewer,
who he'd to fairly carry him, givin
him temporary strength from time to
time. out NV jug labelled "Ohio."
BY his side wuz the bride, a tall
strappin female with a biazin face
and defiant look. / can't say that
she wuz prepossessin lOokln. She
wuz dressed richly, but she Wuz hag
in cOuntenance, and 40 resembled the
offishatin Devil that she mite hev bin
his half-sister. She he'd cold, ma
lishus, crooel face. with long, strong
fingers that wuz constantly clutcfin
at suthin in very croOel way, and
ther wuz a half-wiId expreshn on her
countenance that wuz anything hut
pleasant. Kerried afore her wuz
banner on wich wuz her coat Nv arms.
The banner Wuz made Nv rags Nv
children's elothin, stitched together,
and the coat NV arms wuz beer mug
and whiskey glass, with a 10 cent
piece on the rim Nv each.
They marched up in front Nv the
altar, wich wuz very like ordinary
bar. and took posishun.
The Devil offiShatin demanded,
"Whogives this woman to this man?''
wich wuz responded to by the Brew
ers and Distillers," I'VE do"
Their wuz a pause for minnit and
then the groom with sob broke
away from the side Nv the bride that
wuz to be, and rushed to the eend NV
the altar.
Their wuz a coffin there and a ghast-
ly dead female in it, and he knelt
over that coffin and sobbed as tho his
hart wood break.
"In the name NV Two for Five,
who are these, and wat is it oil about?''
, | demanded NV bystander.
"Who? What? Why the groom is
Dimocrisy."
"And who is the interestin bride?'
"Why that's Rum Power"
"And the deceest in the coffin, over
wich the groom is wastin much
brine ?"
"That's his first wife, Slavery
She's bin dead twenty years, but the
old imbesile hez never bin reconcieC
to IL. He hez alluz labered under tn,
deIooshun that she still lives, and h,
hez bin tryin all these yeers to gi
her onto her feet. He hez put shot
guns irto the hands Nv her famil.
and hez risked his own life to fetcI
hpr tn hIiI IN M ntlrnIg Shn