Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-09-05
BRIGHT BITS.

FASHIONABLE ladies like to get 'new
wrinkle" but they don't want it to show
on the Observation-Disclosures.
\ NEW YORK PLUMBER has married a
| milliner. Everything leads to consolida-
tion and monopoly these days.-LOlCeU
| Citizen.
AFAsHIoN item says that $500 worth
of lace can be put on a tilmy dress with
out looking loaded" 1t is to be presumed
they 90 off easily.
GUESS there isn't much doubt that the
ark found in Turkey is Noahs. One of
the jokes we heard at the minstrels last
week is written on its walls.-BOStOn Post.
A BOsTON commercial traveller, men,
toned by the Globe, was paralyZed when
Young lady asked him, ''When are you
going peddling again ?"-LOUiSUiIe Con-
rteT-JOurBdt.
A MINER at Stockton was instantly
killed by fall of coal the other day. Many
estlmable househOlders in New y DIRK are
being gradually bankrupted by a rise in
the same article.
A FOREST FIRE in British Columbia ex-
ploded a powder mill. Every pane of glass
in village near by was broken, and eve
rvbody exclaimed: "Why, have the
schools opened again ?''-NetoS.
AT a swell dinner party at Newport
last week, when the guests departed, they
were each given a photograph of the din
ing table. Many took it home and lived
on it all the next day.-LOl1eU Citizen.
A KANSAS WOMAN was upbraiding her
husband when a cyclone hove in sight
and, with a sigh Of relief, the unhappy
man ran out into its path and was safely
blown into the next cOunty.-R0cheSter
OSt-EGpreSS.
"CHAwLEs," she lisped to her new
beau from Boston, 'have you seen Rogers
new group?' EsNo," he replied. 'sbut
knew Billy Rogers old gang, who backed
John l.. Sullivan" They are estranged.
Boston "culchah" was too much for her.
The Juige.
The COngregdtjondIiSt talks of ''the de-
cline of honor" in our army and navy.
And vet the number of debts of honor
that have been paid by officers must be
quite large-if we may judge by some Of
the cOurt-martials and the references to
poker playing.
OLD BLIFKINs looked up from his morn
ing paper, after reading the market re-
port, and sOlilOquiZed: "HOw butter can
be active is one of the most Incompetent
sibly incOmprehensible incomprehensi-
bilities. If 1t had been cheese | could
have understood t.'-Erchdnge.
THE DIFFERENCE: A porter excused
himself to an acquaintance upon the
ground that he must hurry down to his
office. Shortly after a prominent lawyer,
meeting a friend who was inclined to talk
too long, asked to be excused so that he
could get to his work.
EDITH: A first-class summer resort is
one at which the cOttagers will not speak
to the hotel guests. A secOnd-class resort
is one at which the hotel guests will not
speak to the cottagers. A third-class re-
sort is one at which everybody tries TO
have a good time.-P htlddetphid NelCs.
THE following story IS told Of Artemus
Wards first visit to Cleveland: Approach
ing stranger he said: 81 beg your par
don, but could you tell stranger where
dinner could be obtained for a quarter Of
"a dollarT' "Right over the way" was the
reply. II beg your pardon, but one ques-
ton more. Could you inform me where
the stranger could get the quarter Of
dollarr'
ALTHOUGH the question in the House
Of Commons eclipse in number those i'm
the Upper House, we doubt whether
among the former could be found one to
excel in quiet humor the following, which
appeared in the Lords minutes recently:
The Earl Fortesque-On going into COM
mittee on the agricultural holdings bill,
TO ask the government whether they will
consider the practicability of introducing
into the bill some provision for alleyiating
the great hardship now suffered by the
family of the clergyman if he dies while
occupying his glebe, as many clergymen
have latterly found themselves reluctant
ly compelled to do,"-PdU Mall Gazette.