Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-07-06
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE,

Suits for damages-shoddy suits
A sample case -Dorsey and Bradys.
n High and dry-Concord school philosoph,
( Blobson calls Accomplishments bale
:, headed musc"-because they haven't got an
air.
An exchange says that Chicago clerks ar
taking up the cudgel in behalf of shorte
hours. That's So let's beat 'em down t
about A minutes, and save up the margi
for fishing excursions
Avoid bathing inside of two hours afteI
meal" says writer. Exactly; il 20,
must battle, do it in tho water.
There are 10000 thieves 10 Londor
known to the police. -E1. Speaks well fo
the efficiency OF the police.
The laws of the ancient Greeks REQUIRED
that the duty of avengiug sisters honor OIL
fathers murder devoved upon the cldes,
son. Greek civilization was n blamed sinh,
further advanced than ours.
Dudes are advertised for sale at Wheeling
AZ twenty-five cents dozen When they
get down to 90 cents farmers will he using
them for scarccrows.
In Franco reporter generally makes o
writing-desk of the back of the individual he
interviews. A fellow would have Job of il
finding his pencil, il he laid it down any.
where on Dave Davis back.
An Iowa woman, who kept missing large
chunks OF her precious wedding cake, set a
trap under the shelf, aud caught her hus-
band.
| A rich old maid has jus, had II bedstead
made entirely of glass, 80 that she can see if
there Is man under it without STOPPING
down every night.
Crowded out to make room for more in
teresting natter" remarked the fighting edi
tor, as he pushed young man with u roll Of
poetry under his arm down stairs, and bowed
in couple of young ladies who came to pay
for an icc-cream festival advertisement.
'Can you tell me your age ~ asked cen
sus collector of q dried-up specimen of fem.
ininity. II shall be Is next July was the
unblushing rejoinder Why you can't,
you know" gasped the astonished Young
man, dropping his pencil 'Can't-eh :
LII teach you to say can't to me, youne
man" With which words the blooming
damsel of 10 pushed the young man of the
steps into the rain barrel, aud returned to
her peaceful household duties. The Dung
man crawled dipping from the hogshead,
rescued his book, and made the following
entry: Emily Bsngup, married. IL chill
dren, II yrs. mos. (and fraction)."
Bob Burdette's brother is Baptist minis
ter. Strange that there should be two in the
same family fond of joke.
| 1t is stated that the queen of Madagascar
has been dead for six months. So have root
many people.
The empress of Germany recently wrote q
letter to Queen Victoria, but the fact tina,
she was woman didut proven, her writing
criss-cross on the front page, to make 1t look
4 like piece OF fine lace.
1t is considered slgn OF arislocracv il
Russia 10 change ones linen once a week
What q bloated dude an American rdito
would be over there.
A New York Chinanian is named HoI
Lawn. He does when he gets on the grass
at Central Park, and policeman smells him
A York State man, who slep. with rest
less brother, dreamed, the other night, tina
he had three legs He was not mistaken
lie had his brothers in the small of his back
An exchange says that ten political often
ders in Prussia were shot through the las
reign. A very dangerous place To b. shot
The time has come when it may be truly
said that the sun consumes the entire day.
The King of one of the West African
coast tribes recently struck his wife dead
1t is supposed that he was wIoth becaus
she helped herself to all The tende,loin of
missionary
"Hurrah for the 4th of July" shouts
country newspaper, in black type. liurra
the other side of it.
western magistrate, 80 years old, bear
the name of Pitcher. 1t, of course, goes with
out saying that he never did act in that C,
pacity.
An exchange has an elaborate article OF
"How to Stop Paper" 1t is very simple
Ask the gentleman who is passing you wit
one il he has any objection to letting you Sc
: when your train goes out Read the tim,
I table last.
Somebody put lot OF dynamite IN
E st. Louis mans boot, and the result of sui
. sequently kicking book agent off the step
, elated him so that he applied for admissio
( to professional football eleven.
} Apple green" is the latest fashionabl
color. II anybody wishes to know ii
shade, they will find it growing in IL
i church yard next month under head stor
: marked "Here lies little Johnny" 1t use
to be called green apple.
1t is rumorcd in Copenhagen that Prime
Waldernan, the youngest of King Christian
, children, will shortly be engaged to Princes
, Frederick William of Prussia. Iu this col
nection we may as well state that we sha
shortly be engaged lowell, that depend
Our case has gone just about as far y
Wally's. At all events, we think we CT
state with some degree of certainty that v
shsll not marry girl VIII ,sc name is FREE
erick William.
What is that's it u circus acrobat? @
no, my son, that is II man who is kick,
himself. What makes the man kick hin
selfp lie has been TO "a masquerade par
aud tlirted with his wife all the evening.
An Ohio man, who has just returned fro