The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-04-28
What the Alleged Wits of Paris Find to
 Say in Their Newspapers
From the French. Translated for the New
 York World.

From the French. Translated for the New
 York World
 A new wrinkle for billiard-players ! To ascertain whether or not the balls are frozen Take Sarah Bernhard, and pass her between them. If she passes, they are touching each other.
 To the garden of the Tuileries. i Mister Toto. age of ten years. ap- breaches himself of Miss Iili. eish, years. who jumps at the rope.
 Lend me thy chord says Toto.
 Yes, wish well. bu, thouwil! give me of thy sugar of barley.
 Afterwards
 No, before. Oh, know you men '"
 A golden dude is reproached by the too credulous tailor who has clothed him for year or more, without seeing the color of the dudes money:
 "l had so much confidence in you" says the tailor; l trusted you so lm- plIcitly."
 And have abused your confidence :" asks the dude indignantly. Did ever recommend one of my friends to deal with you ~ During conversation upon politics one of the company remarks philosophi- cally;
 T, is a pity everybody cannot view these matters as impartially as do. No matter what the government is. so long as il Is good l accept 1t; but ou don't hear me believing everywhere, Live so and so.. That isn't in my line"
 Il know il isn't" responds another guest; you're dootor." l A fond and proud parent is showing work of art by his daughter to the de- lighted company. This erayon drawing" he says. rep rescnts the interior of a railroad tunnel, through which you will perceive train is passing slowly =
 Exquisite. Very fine, indeed" says one of the company, but what makes you say that the train is passing through i, slowly"
 Because, sir. says the father. acu,ely. If ii had been running rapidly it would have been out ot the tunnel long ago :; don't you sec: One Academican meets another. who asks him about his health.
 Why ask such question:. queries his colleague. "when you know that we are all lmmortals :"
 Il know" responds the other. but our statutes forbid our ever getting be- yond forty
 Two young animal painters are discuss ing their latest productions.
 Il had quite talent for bulldogs" says one. but I've had 10 give up paint | iag 'em. You see. it was such an internal bore to have to keep the live dogs from springing on my dogs and tearing them to pieces
 Il had rather gif, for bulldogs" says his companion, '' but had to give up painting them. It was too much trouble to keep the dogs from springing out of my pictures and tearing the living ami n.als to pieces
 Anecdote of the late Dr. Lasegue. a famous specialist in insanity cases.
 One day lady brough, her husband, whom she wished to have committed to an asylum, for examination.
 Well, doctor" said she, with visible impatienoe. "what do you think of his case?'
 Madam" said the doctor, politely. l"I must say that while there is some hope. there is, as yet. no legal presump- tion.-
 The jovial village curate, as each dish is brought to the table, cries joyously to the other guests:
 My friends, this is thing we should take wine with"
 This goes on from the soup to the des- sert. the excellent cure meanwhile living up to his own advice, so that finally one of the company says: beg your par don, sir, but is there anything we oughtn't to take water with"
 "There is, my son."
 "What?"
 aWaserw replies the good ecclesiastic. filling his glass again.
 "Waiter, this fish is not fresh.' ! "Well, sir, perhaps 1t isn't, sir-qui,e possible, sir"
 aWhat in a restaurant like this. ?" l "Why, certainly. sir. You see the boss fcan't always be on hand when they catch !. the fish v