Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-04-12

China and Japan buy our dried apples
freely. Thus does American industry help
to swell the population of the Orient.
Ell Noah had been far SEEM man he
never would hab tuck the snake inter de
ark. Use alters had my 'spicions bout dat
man.
a New Jersey widow ia said to have
changed her religion because she wished to
avoid meeting her husband in the next
world.
An Arkansas editor refused the position
of County Judge because he didn't want
his own paper to get down on him for blum
ders in office.
a Vassar College miss reads the prayer
book response thus '' As it was in the be-
ginning, is now, and ever shall be, world
without men. All me p
Without the least thinking about their
names, Miss Rich and Mr.. Poore ard MIR.
Night and Miss Day sat down TO tea to-
gether at house in Maryland.
De man what ponds on de rooster fer to crow
An wake i'm up arly in de mawnin',
May snmtime fin dat de rooster is no mo-
But wuz stolen seval ours fore de dawnin'.
Georgia Major.
4 work has recently appeared in Paris
called ga French Darwin, which advo-
Gates and proves, to the authors satisfac-
ton at least, that the human race was
evolved from plants.
Justin Mccarthy goes in for Americana.
| ing English journalism, and is now trying
to show English editors how to say "two
and half-[Philadelphia News.
1t took Nevada grizzly just seven min.
utes to tear down shanty and make shoe.
strings of two miners. If you don't be-
lieve it, ask the third man, who was up a
tree holding the watch.-[Detroit Free
Press.
Twenty-Five years ago Mr.. Newhall
erected the hotel recently burned in Mil
waukee, and anissYed handsome fortune.
He is now a milk. peddler in that city. He
will probably come out all right again if
the waters of Lake Michigan hold out
[Salt Lake Tribune.
Sadly nngallant, too, is the tickle Mr..
Biggar A friend asked him. just after the
to Miss Hyland Why did you kiss her
foot?" Because" growled the honor
able member for Cavan, sit was hand.
somer than her face"
The law library OF the late Justice
Clifford, of the United States Supreme
Court, is now offered for sale at Port
land, Me-, and an effort IS being made to
have it purchased as whole and kept in
! tat city as a public library. It is said
! to be the largest law library in New Eng
land except the one in Boston.
EVERY carpenter who shaves with a
foreplane borrows the genius of forgot
ten inventor" Perhaps he does but
when his foreplane strikes a nail in a
pine board be borrows suitable quota
ton from profane history, which is not so
much forgotten. That's the kind of jack
plane the carpenter is.-[Norristown Her
aid.
sis it true, father" said young jack
sonian, glancing up from Philadelphia
paper, THAT. the Democratic party once
took out patent for being fools and is now
at Washington trying to get reissue ?"
81 can't answer positively" returned the
old man, "but my impression is that they
sold the patent to the Republicans some
time ago."
The remains of John Howard Payne, the
author of "Home Sweet Home" have
been placed in the chapel of the beautiful
Oak Hill Cemetery at Georgetown, D. O.,
where they will remain until the compile
tion OF their final sepulcher, which is now
being erected at the expense of W. w.
CorcoraG, the millionaire philanthropis5 OF
Washington.
The biological students of the Johns Hop.
kins University have entered into an
agreement with the small boys of Balti-
more for supply of dogs and cats at the
fixed price of so centa for the former and
% cents for the latter. Occasionally a
mistake is made, and some worthy old
lady mouTns the loss OF companionable
tabby, but on the whole it seems to be the
general conclusion that the activities Of
the small boy were never better employed
than in diminishing the stock of superhuous
cats.
The Church of the Invalides is on the
right bank of the Seine, ON the south side
of Paris, adjoining the hotel of the same
name. That grand refuge for the veterans
Of France is an object of great interest, as
the church containing the tomb of the
Emperor Napoleon L !; and though France
is now a repu although it may not be
by the time this reaches the eye of the
Ieader-no republican has ever dared to
offer any indignity to the tomb of the great
Emperor. Any desecrstio1s >cft this tomb
would be resented by FIenchmen OF all
kinds and name.
We regret to be informed, says the
| Medina (O.) NelUS, that in one respect at
least our paper does not give entire salts.
faction. Two of the very handsomest and
most winning young ladies our town af-
forde, recently remarked that they were
disguised with it, for, when they used it
for hustle it was so easily crushed and
made no attempt to rise up again. We
are indignant and enrsged at our paper.
To think that after we have tried to infuse
| dignity, independence and stability into it,
It should be so unworthy the trust re.
posed in it and give way before SO slight a
pressure We sincerely thank the young
ladies for their attempt to give our limp
sheet such prominence, and sadly regret
that it failed to appreciate the situation.
On the day before the reception rendered
her at St. Georges, Bermuda, the Princess
Louise went on skeschipg expedition along
the shore, all alone, and after time be-
co.aing thirsty went for drink to the cot
tage of a negro fisherman. No one was
there but " auntie, and she was busy as
could be in ironing a shirt for her g ole
man to wear to the reception. The
Princess asked for drink. Use no time
to bodder getting water TO- you, was the
reply: Use fea'ful busy, for Use bound to
see the Queens chile to. morrow" g But
if you'll get me drink I'll iron while you
do so, said the thirsty Princess. the Of
fer was accepted, the Princess finished the
shirt and got her drink, and then revealed
her identity. 70 de Lord honeyI' ex.
claimed "auntie when she recovered from
her surprise, 9" ole man or no one else ever
wear dat shirt again, nohow RI Albany
Journal.
$50 you would marry Ethel?" demanded
the father, as he wheeled around to face
the trembling lover" Eyes, SIR" '.And
you have money in bsnk-real estate
bonds = stocks, say 5000 worth ?"
limo, sir, but can work up. II am
bound to win, sir." "How?' 81 shall
go to Florida, buy 100 acres of land, raise
1000. 600 oranges per year for the market,
and in ten years shall be rich" "Hum
Yes Hum p growled the old man.
Every enterprising good opening,
young man ?" "Y-yes, sir p 81 have
an enterprise as well. Ethel will marry
Buffalo widower this spring. He is con-