Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-06-02
LIME-KILN CLUB.
A Protracted Meeting on the Subject of
"How--to EconOmize by Hon. Poky-
demus White.

II would inform de club" said the
President, as another starch box was
dropped into the stove to warm up the
back townships, "dat de Hon. Poky-
demus White, of Granada. Miss, am
in de anty-room De gem'lan arrove
heah las night on top Of freight car.
His objeck in wisitin' de Norf am to
deliber his celebrated ecktur' on How
to Economize.' He has offered to de-
liber it befo' dis club fur de sum of
seventy i've cents, which am cheap
huff fur any sort of lecktur' on any
sort of asubject But l has informed
him dat we doan' want it. Itam plain
to mo dat he has bin economizin' rad
der too much. In place of an ober-
coat he has yard of brass watch
chain. In place of three meals per
day he seems to prefer one meal an
two drinks of whisky. While de
heels of his butes am all run ober, he
wars glass diamond under his chin.
While his trousers am patched befo'
an behind, he sports a galvanized
watch dat probably cost $6. Gemlen,
de way to economize am to save sew
enty five cents by not 'ceptin' de offer
of dis leckturer. What de moas' of us
doan' know bout economy no stranger
wild a stiff knee kin cum along an
teach us. When member of dis club
keeps fo' chill'en in skule, pays rent,
has Sunday suit, eats oysters twice a
week an doan' owe de butcher or
grocer, an all on salary of $6 per
week, 1 reckon he has got de economy
bizness down to as fine pint as it
kin be worked.
"De Committee on Recepshun OF
Statesmen will purceed to de anty
room an remark to de Hon. Poky-
demus White dat we has decided not
to h'ar de lectur' at any price. Hint
to him dat he had better leave de city
on some of de night trains. Tell him
dat his lectur' will probably draw
crowded houses in Toledo an Cleve-
land" Sir Isaac Walpole desired to
state, before passing the bean-box,
that the Hon. Pokydemus had been
roosting at his house for twenty-four
hours, and from the way he passed
his plate three times for meat and po
tatoes and got away with bread and
butter it was plain that he was an
economist only in words. He wouldn't
board him a week for less than $27.
The box was then passed and the fol-
lowing candidates were elected: Snow
ball Jones, Carter Williams, Pope
Green, Rev. Amos Taylor, Abner
johnson, Modification Parker and
Trustee jackson.
Waydown Bebee arose to inquire
what had become of the Committee on
Poetry.
Col. Fakir, Chairman of the above
committee, bobbed up with his quar-
terly report, from which we condense
the following:
January-The total number OF
poems, idyls, refrains, laments, etc,
received during this month was 328.
Total weight of same on Fairbanks
scales, twenty one pounds. Three
poems had been laid aside to be read
at the grave OF Giveadam Jones when
ever he died six idyls sold at very low
rates to an insane asylum, and fifteen
laments distributed among political
candidates who got left. The remain
der of the stock had been burned.
February-The total number re.
ceived this month was sixty-three,
consisting mostly of laments. All
used to kindle the lodge fire.
March-Over 400 poems were re-
ceived during this month, some OF
them containing as many as seventy
verses, but the box containing them
was left in the woodshed and his mule
walked in one night and devoured
every scrap of paper. Result: Death
of the mule inside of six hours. The
President then announced that he had
Cancelled the charter of the branch
lodge at Clarksville, Tenn, estab.
lished six months ago. He had
learned from the highest authority
that the officers of the lodge drank
whisky and engaged in wrangles and
disputes in open meeting, and the
Secretary had been laid up for two
weeks by dose of shot received at
the door of a white mans hen-oeop.
The Secretary then carefully read the
following from New Brunswick:
ST. JOHN, N. b., April IL, 1883.
To the Lime Kiln Club:
DEAR SIR--Words cannot convey to
you the gratitude of the five gentle
men who some time ago made appli-
cation for admission as members into
the Lime-Kiln Club
But as regards myself, strongly
protest against the false and SANDER
GUS statement of Judge Congo with
regard to the size OF my feet. The
largest feet in the city belong to A.
q. Bowes, measuring ska; the next
largest is owned by J. Davis, whose
weight is $50 wounds, and who car
ries shoe measuring 7x13A. The
latter gentleman respectfully asks to
be admitted member of the Lime
Kiln Club. He would be great ac-
QUESTION to the club, as he is particu
larly known here as a great conun-
drum maker. He has now stock of
original conundrums for sale low.
Would also be great draw for the
minstrel circle of the club.
The five members of your club here
would also beg to obtain permission
to start branch of the Lime Kiln