Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-08-14
POLITICAL.
TEN LITTLE CANDIDATES.
Life.

| Lie.
Ten little candidates standing in n line:
| One wrote private letter-then theie wcr,
Nine little candidates. each making up a slate
Ono spoke about the tariff-and then there wcr,
| eight.
Eight little candidates; the Presidential leaver
Struck one prematurely- and then there were
| seven.
Seven little candidates setting up the sticks;
| One pulled the wrong wirc-thcn there were
| six.
six little candidates. good men all and live;
Ones war record was looked up-then there
were five.
Five little candidates on scrubrace tore;
Ones wheel horse made bolt-then there
were four.
| Four little candidates. active as could be;
| One little boom collapsed-then there were
three.
| Three little candidates; to an Interview
| One OF them Standardization there were two.
Two little candidates made a red.hot run:
Ones manager sold out-then there was one.
One little candidate Standing all alone;
dark horse kicked him-then there was
none.
John Bright says he knows Of but one
war since the days of King William that
was justtlable, and that was the war
for the preservation of the American
Union.
AT the Civil Service Examination in
Washington q girl l6 years old, a pupil in
the Washington High School, exhibited
the highest degree OF accuracy in her
answers to the questions OF the Commits
sion.
Strange as il may seem, the New York
World asks to have the Democratic party
judged by its works. Nothing would suit
the Republicans better, As it would insure
4 rousiug Republican victory in 1881,
and necessitate very little effort on their
part
Whenever Republican politician en-
cages in any questionable operation and
he Is called To an account for 1t, he at
once comes to the conclusion that the par
fy Is too corrupt for him to remain with
it, and goes OF at once and joins the De-
mocracy.
Last year the prohibition element in
New York nominated candidates In many
of the Assembly Districts. The result
was the election OF Democratic members
in some of those Districts. The Demo-
Gratis carried the Assembly and proceeded
10 enact an excise law in the interest of
free rum.
States that will hold elections this
year are Kentucky, Iowa, Ohio, Massachu-
sets, Connecticut, New York, New Jer-
sey. Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia,
Mississippi and Minnesota. Kentucky
elected August 9th; Ohio and Iowa follow
in October, the others being November
States.
A Mr.. Marden says: (" should not be
surprised To see Governor Benjamin +.
Butler President OF the Uunited States. "
Perhaps not, but Just think, Mr. Marden,
how astonished the other fifty millions Of
our Inhabitants would be.-NOTistooa
Herald.
This anecdote OF General George w
Jones, one OF the first two Senators from
Iowa, is resurrected President Pierce no.
titled Jones by telegraph OF his appoint
ment as Minister at Bogota. The General
replied: ~ accept; but, Frank, where is
Bogota?'
This Is the way the Norristolca Herald
turns the new Democratic war cry on the
paper that invented It: Turn the rascals
out" shrieks the Ne,c York Sun. Why,
they are out They were turned out over
twenty years ago, when they stole all the
money In the Treasury, rified the arsenals
and attempted TO split the Union. and
they have been out ever since. We sup
posed the Sun knew that.
Hon. Hannibal Hamlln has been offered
as high as $50 a column for all he may
write OF his political "reminiscences. The
veteran statesman thus far has not yield
ed TO the tempting offer, AID he hes!tates
10 accept for fear that failing memory
might lead him 10 do Injustice TO some
body.
AS usual, the prohibltory managers In
Ohio have nominated State ticket TO as
sist the free rum, Democratic party, but
the prohlhitory vote Is expected TO be very
small The same thing Is done In Maine.
II Ia called taking the temperance cues.
ton out o. politics, but the effect Ia TO aid
the antl.temperance political party every
tlme.--Beltdst Joaraql.
kentucky seems 10 be under queer
management. In 1865 the treasury re-
joced 10 a sinking fund that exceeded the
State debt by 5000. 900. Since that time
81, O00, 600 has been added 10 the fund, and
yet there Is hut 81 900, 600 TO its credit.
now. The Mossbacs Bourbons who run
the State affairs are trying desperately to
explain. but Il seems to he cage or aosorp.
tion, like the butter 10 tie toast and the
toast In the butter.
Que ofthe Democratic .Greenback Con.
gressmeu-elect from the State OF Iowa
Is known as Calamity" Weller. And 1t
lldoubtless prove a calamity to the State
hat ha
publio speech recently he used the follow
Ing language ~ know As a fact that
can get resrer Heaven In fifteen minutes
with three straight drinks OF whiskey than
any other way know OF. know, because
| have tried It," Iowa has been distin-
guished In past times for the ability OF Its
Congressional delegation, but the Demo-
cratic Greenbsck alliance succeeded last
fall in foisting upon 1t, apparently, one Of
the worst "cranks" that eyer appeared In
Congress.
Congressman Phil Thompson called on
President Arthur, the other day, and in
troduced Kentucky friend who wanted an
office and who had wanted an office for
long time. The President coolly remarked
that no introduction was necessary, as he
had been introduced to the gentleman over
sixty time and his face had become as ia
miliar to him as the White House pump,
or words to that effect. Congressman
Thompson Is reported to have remarked
afterwards to ap acquaintance, of had
not had the self-control to Immediately
leave the room, should have been com.
PEELED to resent the Presidents conduct"
The way Thompson PRESENTS" anything Is
we'll known, and he must have resisted
with unusual self-eontrol" the tempta-
ton to pull his resenter from his hip peck
ct. Thompson has already established
reputation as a crank, and 1t seems he has
almost reached the Guiteau point,