The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-10-24
COMIC COMMENTS.

one doesn't mind EN- The girl will
hne, plump arms is the creature who does
~. ''',no 'iie inos'ial'oes at 'ii.-71 ucN.
Lack OF material A company Of New
port dudes imported a mind-reader for Their
amusement, but when he arrived ne found
ne mad nothing to work n.--7l''csa Courier.
1t may escape: If the managers are not
extremely careful the fact that there is to be
worlds falr IN Boston this fall will leah
OUT before the exhibition opens.--Mstton
~ e'os'
Traced to an old firm: The 900-B.-C
sheepskin-" Moabite " Deuteronomy MSS.
are now said to be product of the we'll
1nowh factory OF Ananias q saphira----Neao
1ofh 1'0Ss'
Nice and slow Walk slower, papa"
cried the little girl, whose short steps were
no match for the strides Of her masculine
p.oseh'sof cant you go nlee and SLOW
hke . Policeman - LoaosH c Y ~
40 tasiiion chat Poor Greatness" ex
claimed Mrs 6rossrnii, locking at ths
pictures Of nude savage wofnen e no cloth
ing OF any kind wonder what the pooi
'hings nave % TAX ABOUT s,-7-1,osso'F gd''
"'tpe' q, 81
difference; Almost any man will for
get MS ten-doilar umbrella when he leaves
restaurant, but give a woman parasel
worth one dollar and take her into fifty !
restaurants and she will not forget it once
= "s~
Needless solicitudo; Mistress (about
depart for the seaside)- hardly hike tc
ieaye you alone IN the house.. servant
Och sorra alone will be, mum, wild
all me first cousins coming to shtop wild me,
mum. - me Judge.
A new version A couple of tramps
vent INTO larger beer saloon and drank q
Quantity OF beer for which they had no
money to pay. The proprietor instructed
his bartender to " Durn dose rascals inside
oud. "---ffochester Post-h Cypress.
Quality and quantity: "The idea Of my
being Jealous of Miss Smith ]" exclaimed
Mrs. Brown Indignantly; 6 the idea of my
Being jealous of her, when think so much
Of her ~ C Yes but what do you think z"
asked Brown. Boston Transcript.
What was in it: "My case is lust here.p
said n citizen to a LAWYER "The plaintiff
will swear that hit him. will swear that
did not. Now, what can you lawyers
make out OF that II we go to trial 2
hundred dollars, easy" was the reply.--
bench and Bar.
Shutting the battle: The speaker who
alluded to his candidate as g the war horse
that snuffed the battle from AFFAIR." climbed
mp to the composition room with club
after reading II III the paper as :" the ward
boss that snatched the bottle from the bar"
---I'oston Commercial Batettn,
Assuring Passenger (faintly)--" elect
tares--fore wegetacross Thought WEI
Mate" Beg y'r pardon, sir, but our orders
| Is, in bad weather, to be particular careful
to collect fares; cause in gale like this
ere there's no knowing how soon we may
all go to the bottom S'-7Lond0n f,'''aca.
The odd-job mta want YOU 70
nrofrrs sic deg OF tfrfs kitefseu trf,ie, SMITH
aon. Do you feel equal to the job :"
/" Equal to the job, MN! Why, me and
few mates o mine built the ole OF the new
Law Courts, mm Z Dob turns out CON-
Something usual. "I feel az worr;a,3
about Cbarles" sighed Mrs. Wildhusband.
I" It's getting late, sure enough, said sister
Kate, looking at the clock :. but guess
nothing unusual has happened" That
is what frets me-" replied Mrs. Wildhus-
t..,a a 4