Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-23
ON THE TURF.
a Leaf From the Life of Col. lake
Kempie.
Aooing il Over the Hills on Lecture Tour
The Courtesies Extended to
Strangers in lHtsrioS West
Virginia Towns.

especially humorous lecturer" asked
REGISTER reporter Of Col. Jake
Kemple yesterday, a. that gentleman
stood with his broad back against the
cigar case at the Mcclure House, leasure,
ly smoking 1.-TWO tor,' and surrounded
by 8 number OF aspiring young states,
men whom he was enlightening about
the future greatness of the United
States, West Virginia, the s. o. p, etc.
AYES, sir. In the course of my expert.
ence ( have had more of those things
you speak Of than money, and il you
will wait till l settle the heretofore
doubtful question SO to who both parties
will nominate Tor President in "a, will
tell you of them"
Then the crowd came closer to the
ex-statesm man and jurist and pricked up
tEeir ears, for Kemple is
Known 10 Dc Ear.seeiBg
and to have decided views on all ques-
tiOnS pertaining 10 the political situa.
tin. Then with all angel COllaX
smile, che urbane humOrist said:
"EoyS, YOU know | have been dele
gate To great many conventions in
the past ten years; been mixed up in
quarTelS and debates; have had the
honor 10 place in nomination. some of
the oldest men in the Stat; hive
shouted myself hOaTsg in extolling their
virtues and qualifications, aud then
ballOlung, swOp.ng, trading and break
ing wUuiu begin, ANA sometimes last
for hours, and even days have been
consumed before reaching result. But
| have always noticed that the man
who got the majority of tue votes on
tire last ballot was declared nominated,
sn6 unless the luie Is reversed that will
bc the
Result of Eoih the National Cosven-
Hons
rext year"
There was an audahle grin, and Jake
Was rendered unanimous vote ct
thanks for solving the intricate prob
lem.
"Now you boys want to know what
| know AOOuJ The remarkaOiyfaSc.uaing
life OF occurring IN city, town and ham,
let?"
In chorus: "That's what we'r wait
ing to hear"
"Well I'll tell you. Probably my
experience has been largely dillereuJ
from that of most OF those in the
lecture field, including DIR. Mary
Walker, Theodore Tilton, George Fran
Cis Train, Henry Ward Beeeher, Susan
b. Anthony and other funny men of
the day. These men have been popular
and had great run before the people.
| st times, in some towns, have been
and had 10 walk away from
the people and the hUtel-at night.
This is
One Marked Difference
IL the careers OF my respected contempt
psraries and myself which, perhaps,
YOU have noticed.
"'lS there ~ much fun this year IS
there was last year, aud will there De Us
much next" you ak.
AYES, from what / have heard and
seen think 80. But the life of hu-
mOrOus lecturer is not altogether humOr-
Gus at ali times uuder AL circumstances.
There is a mixture of sunshine aud
shadow, bright days aud dark days,
pleasant days aud cold dayS-it is cold
when that does happen there IL COIN
riJqnce The owner OF the hall gets
left. likewise the printer, the hotel mau
and sll directly Interested. They
pcnera liy wish he had left the town be-
tore lie came iatO it,
"D.d you
Ever Get LeTi.
7 mean, was there ever town or
time where the people failed to give
YOU an audience or failed To appreciate
your lecture'
ssYes, several towns and times. and
there's another coincidence; when they
failed so did !, and in my failure the
liabilities usually exceeded the assets
10y about 80 per cent" ,,
Has anything ofthat kind happened
to you recently;
Only once this season, and that was
my fault: il was an Ohio town. L
occurred there last year TO a good au-
d;erce and q desire was expressed for
my return. | returned. Then L re-
turred bone again-broke. L had q
modest accumulation Of wealth at that
time, but like the foolish Nlrg OF
old, had leiL it in my otter vest here
in the city, expecting to make q maui
through my lecture at the Aforesaid
town. Cli make the hall. L made
out 10 get to the hall about S o'clock
that evening. The hall and its owner
were there; so were about twenty men
and boys, sitting around here and there
like
TombstoBes in New Graveyard"
"Did you lecture"
mot that night, but delivered them
a short address about the SIC ot FaUtS
Gpistle to the Romans"
"What was the nature of your Bible
lesson to the hGathen?"
any language was plain which
will not deny. "A the surrounding
were gloomy my remarks were CORE
spOEuingly So, and as near as can now
remember were about as follows:
"GENTs: You see it was an abrevia'
ted crowd, so | abrevisted) Il can hard
~ conceive so great = change in your
community in 50 short 3 time. The
change - what makes me sad, as it takes
all the small shange ] have out OF my
pocket and puts none in. Last year
was greeted by a brass band and q niue
duulCItt, anu ltlI SONI W" II III SNJ NJ
but Gs / am of proud, progressive
spirit, hall ignore last years style anu
go out with the sitting of the moon aud
before the rising Of the sun. The cur
lew will not 6e tOllCd To night, my child
rem; ut least you will not be told any
thing 10y me worth p cents. shall not
tintinnabulate TO the rhythmatic, gig
CLING, weighing, smirking, smiling bellies
OF Your town tO-night-sOme other
night, perhaps, in the faraway future.
al was informed to-day that one OF
the most celebrated humorous lecturers
in the world, Mrs. Elizabeth Cady
stanton, lsctured to less than twenty
five people in this hall short time ago.
She being q woman Of iron constitution
and nerve, viciSsitudes and hair-breadth
escapes, with
A Hundred and Forty Years Expert
ence
IN tie forum as . statesman, and on
tie platform as an orator and funny
lecturer, might have the fortitade to
face this kind of q cyclone. | have
not. am young, innocent and
timid, hut ambitious girl, just budding
into life as it were, DESTROYS Of develop
ing natures lavish gifts, but fear that