The Portland daily press., 1883-07-16
Nasty.
Mr.. Nasty Returns TO the Corners and
Meets with Chilling Rsception-Wi
Bis Usual Tact He Converts Defeat into
Victory, and Resumes His Old Place.

CoNFEDRlT = ROADS (wich is in the State
NV Kentucky, Joon Z, 1881 recht the
Corners last mite after two years absence
in Yoorup. For two years hev ben eatin
the bred Nv industry, picked up by infrekunt
aud onsartin loans from Americans abrod,
witch he'd consumed enuf NV the villanus
beer and wine nv the kentry to be in a libral
mood, by-actin occasionally as seketary Nv
soshalistic societies without salery, the only
advantages nv the posishen bein tibet 1t
Civ me facilities for occasional borein from
nu recroots witch wuz filled with zeel for the
coz, and by wormin myself into he sekrets
nv the Irish agitators and sellin myself to
the British government ez an informer.
But these methods Nv Twin wuz precari-
Gus at the best, ana it wnz with joy that
cum out nv the stokers room NV the ship
struggled myself aboard ez stowawag, wich
they inhumanly put me into wen they found
me out two days out NV Queenstown half
starved, and set me to work passln, coal for
my passage, wich is more work than l ever
did in my life afore A happy man wuz
wen put my foot on the dock in M York.
How did git from M York to the Cor
ners? viii not harer up the public mind
by relatin the affectin tail. twill not put
in print the number NV times I he'd dorgs
set onto me by farmers, the number Nv times
wuz gently lifted off the hind eend of francs
and dropped onto the track, the number NV
times / wuZ refused meel of vtels by vim
in witch stigmatized me ez tramp; | viii
not say how the walkin' wuz and how hori-
bic the roads; suffice it to say tibet, ragged and
weery, foot-sore and discouraged, / entered
Bascom's at s O'clock last mite, and sank in
to the old corner, thanking God tibet wunst
more wuz in the land NV the FIRE, for every
thing but Cinnamon and niggers, and the
home nv the brave, ceptin the bounty
jumpers and draft registers.
They all recognized me, for they he'd ben
expectin' me. Kernel McPeter seed me in
Louisville and telegrafed Bascom: "Beware!
Ole Nasty is moyin onto you." He got
home afore did, for he he'd a pass onto the
railroad vile wuz compelled to wok
Their wuz a most depre5in silence ez sot
down. Their wuz no enthusiastic rushin
forerd with open hands, Their wuz no harty
invitashuns to take suthin, ther wuz no
presin' about me to welcum me back to my
native heath. On the contrary, quite the re-
vers. Bascom stood behind his bar, silent
and glum; the deekin sot in his old corner
with glass NV whisky, but he turned nary
face toward me; Kernel McPelter tipped back
in his cheer and looked resolutely another
wa, vile that migrate, Issaker Gavitt, leened
over the counter toxin to Bascom. They
took nc notice NV me, no mor'n than ez tho
| wuZ not in the room.
1t wuz delibrit attempt to freze me out.
WITCH ever way l looked, they persisteH.iy
turned their faces the other WY. | made
up my mind not TO be frizolt.
Gentlemen" SEE I, F'after one hez lived
two yeers among the bloated aristocracies
Nv Yoorup, and mixed with princes, and
docks, and =, and things, and restid in
gildid pfs 4~and SIGH, the Republican sim
pI:cci..tyy 15aseom' s is suthin deliteful.
In respons~ ia this Issaker Gavitt asked the
deekin whether n~Yuz tru thet his brown
mule he'd broken his fsG
ITO one who hez been az "a 50 ions,,- 80
hez pizened hisself with sour wines and stale
beer, the fact tibet he pizened hisself with
kings and eirs apparent to thrones don't
make no difference. Ones bowels is more
to be consi Tered than grand company, and
better glas Nv soothin whisky in Bascom's,
under the Amerikin flag, than bottle Nv
thin wine ht the table Nv a dock"
''Hev u sold tibet spawned mare yit?'
asked Kernel McPelter Nv Deekin Pogram,
payin no attention to my remark.
"a comparison Nv the luxury Nv the mo-
bility with the misery nv the common classes
is calkelatec to impress upon the refectiv
mind"
'Kernel, are agoin' 10 bid an addishnn
to yer stable this season." broke in Bascom,
ignorin me completely.
| endoored this sort of thing for perhaps
fifteen minits, and then | rose in my indig-
nashen. Marchin' up to Bascom / looked
him square in the face and sed:
"Wel, here | am"
81 Sc u arp retortid G. w.
81 am here to sta.'
s'We hey ben Twin in cheerful hopes NV
readin ur obituary in paper printed i'll
some form langage, but this is an exasperat-
inly disapintin' world. We wood hey pade
wilinly to hev he'd it translated into Eng
lish."
.'Most NV coudent hev red it eff it he'd
ben written in English l feplide with sar-
casm, s'but that is neither here nor there. |
am here aud. ez sed, am here to STA"
'Grashus hevinsr' ejak ated the Deekin.
'Hellp' exclaimed Issaker Gavits.
"The dispensashuns Nv Providence are
misterious'' sighed McPelter.
swat kin we do with u?' demanded Bas-
com, finely.
''Gentlemen,' l replide calmly, ''how
much do / the Corners?"
| They each Nv 'em STUDIED the amount l
| wuz in debt to 'em.
"Do u ever expect to git it?' asked.
'Neverr' they replide in korus.
~ certinly wunt inhospitably thrust me
| from ure doors, wicb ] see ar calkilatin'
| onto. Do You decide to Xix me ont?'
"How am | goin 10 keep in likker?'
| gr3aned BascOm.
| How am | goin TO feed up groned the
| Deekin.
"Genllemen, the justis NV these queries
| admit. Bnt yu must no that yu hev sew
| eral thousands up dollars invested in Inc al
ready, and whether it is a permanent invest
| ment or not depends upon yur ackshun. G.
| W., the locker Nv yurs that hev drunk is
| lost to yu forever. Yu can't git 1t bak, even
| with stnmik pump. 1t Is asimilatid long
| age. 1t is whiskey no longer. Still intend
TO pay yu for it?'
.Pay mel How?o
''Esy enuf. The kentry is on the eve NV
of politikle overturn. The Republican
| party, our ansheBt enemy, is falin to peeces.
| The memory Nv the great war is fadin out.
| 1t don't make any difference to the Northern
| Republican, jist now whether his nabor lost
| his leg at Stone river or in a thrashing ma
| sheen. Blood is a turibly fadid color. There
| are thousands NV Republicans in M York
| WITCH ar rangin themselves under the banner
| NV Tammany hall for the sake Nv reform I;
thousands more ar votin the prohibishen
| ticket, and thus putin us In power in the
interest Nv temperance; we have histed the
baner NV 'Tarif for reveOu,' wich in Penn
silvany we constru to be tariff reform, with
eanin toward proteckshun, and Ia Illinoy
| tariff reform with leanin toward free trade !;
| there are the unnumbered thousands Nv
| Republicans whose services hewitt bin APP
| preshiated in that party in the way NV offs,
| who are clamorus for reform, and who de-
maud change; in short, we hev hitcbed
unto our kite every shade of politikle opin-
yum that is dissatisfied with sunthon or other
| in the Republican party, and we hey things
so fixed that Dimecratic triumf in 1884 is
| certin."
"When that happens do yu suppose that
that internal niger, Lubbock, wich hez held
my postofis here sence the inogerashen Nv
the tyrapt Grant, is goin to keep that SAX
red place? Is Pollock goin to continyu in
| the collectors offs to the eXclushun Nv my
| friend, Issaker Gavitt? Not much. In them
| DAYS, whom reform sweeps the kentry, the
| nieeI's he'd fols in the baskit, and shell be
| ,,os4uoaotar ut the Corners vii | nav for