Daily globe., 1883-05-13
A LITTLE YAGUE.


preciate this from Bill Nye's Laramie
Boomerang:
A tall. pleasant-looking gentleman,
with quick, restless eyes, and the air of
man who had been in newspaper
office before, dropped into the Boomer
d'1g science department and asked the
pale, scholarly blossom who sat writing
an epic on the alarming prevalence of
pip and it's future as a national evil, if
he could be permitted to read the Dcs-
eret NelcS.
The scientist said Certainly" and,
after long, weary tussle, got the Nor
mon plaque out of the ruins
Il used to be foreman of the Deseres
NelCs," said the gentleman with the
penetrating eyes. "I worked on the
NelcS two years and had case on the
Tribune. I've been foreman of thirty
seven papers during my life, but my
most unfortunate experience was on the
Deseret Ne1CS. I wanted the paper
just now to see if they we're still run-
ming an ad that I had some trouble
with when I was there.
1T was contract we had with DR..
BelshaZZer to advertise his Blue-Eyed
Forget-me-Not Perfume, DR.. Balshaz-
zer's Red Tar Worm Buster and DR..
Balshazzer's Baled Brain Food and
Tulurockandryecodliveroil. The Blue
Eyed Forget-me-Not Perfume was to go
solid in long primer, following pure
reading matter cod in daily and eowtf
weekly. The Red Tar Worm Buster
was to go in nonpareil loaded 1921. Tth-
Eth 90weow3mo, and repeat, and the
Baled Brain Food and Tulurockandrye-
codliveroil Was 5i1-i1ch electrotype,
to go in on third page, following pure,
original humorous matter, with six full
headlines, d&weodoct3tf, set in read
ing-type similar to copy, these to be in
serted between pure religious news,
with no other advertising within four
miles of the electro or the reading
notices.
cat the same time we were running
old Monkeywrenche's Kidney Scraper
on the same kind of a contract The
business manager did not remember
this when we took the contract, so that
as soon as we began to run the two there
was collision between the Tulurock-
andryeandcodlivero1 and the Kidney
Scraper right off. spoke to the bust
ness manager about it and he was puz-
zled. He didn't exactly know what it
was best to do under the circumstances,
still he hated to lose old Balshazzer's
whole trade, for he wouldn't run any of
his ads unless we would run them all
according to his contract.
ave tried to get him to let us run the
Blue Eyed Forget-me-Not Perfume
1apr9d&w1ydeod&w1y 1O-2t-eowtf, the
Red Tar Worm Buster do 134t da22tf
apr15-1y do 13tf, and the Brain Food
and Observation-Disclosures mch
1S*1y jun 4dtf &daug1S@g9* *&Sylds3O
tf&rsvpeod$, but he wouldn't do it.
II displayed his ad top of column
adjoining humorous column, with three
line leaders and astonishers without ad-
vertising marks OF signs according to
copy and Instructions to foreman, all
omissions or wrong insertions to be
charged to the paper at double rates,
readers to be scattered through tele-
graph and editorial, the daily and week
ly papers to be sent to advertising
agents and proprietors of remedies and
their relatives IT,; the paper agreeing
to take no other advertisement from
any one else, and tried the best I knew
how to satisfy him, but it was no go.
He stuck for his contract.
Most every day. he would write to
the publishers that his ad was not in
pSD1oAO1A ouSL 01IttU Ul1O pbpO1 Mdo 1llu-
ming up an awful bill for forfeiture and
failure to comply with terms of agree
ment.
"The business man would come into
the composing-room and give me thun-
der about it, and would try to explain
to him until my brain ached. Finally.
Dr.. Balshazzer brought suit against the
paper for 5000 damages and $500 for
forfeiture on the scale of double value
of gross contract price. with other little
etceteras. I was discharged, but re-
tanned under bond as a witness on the
trial. [ couldn't give bonds, so went
to Jail pending the trial. The case was
continued till the next year, and then 1
went up to testify.
"I said on oath that as near as can
remember the electros were to go 4eod-
Observation-Disclosures & T..
C.ML., and that the readers were to be
scattered through our continued story
or in among the sermons of John Tay-