The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-07-21
Match Making.

| ~ clever mt of matchmaking, executed
by an Am<ican lady of this order in
brilliant style. Her eldest daughter had
sailed from New York with some friends
for tour of Europe, and after ''doinp''
the continent had returned to the
French capital for several months of
rest and pleasuring. Attractive and
clever, she had many suitors, some
more, some less desirable. She could
not marry them all, so she adroitly re-
duced the number to two-the best of
the lot, of course Then she wrote
home to her mamma, explaining the
exact situation of affairs, adding that
they were both so handsome, agree
able, well-connected and rich, that she
could not decide between them, and
closed with the question: tWhat shall
do|' Ten days later she received a
| cablegram from mamma: 81 sail to-
morrow; hold both till come" The
| next transatlantic steamer brought
Mrs. Blank with her second daughter.
| just turned eighteen, and fresh from
school, On her arrival the old lady
at once took the helm of affairs.
and steered so deity through the
dangerous waters that in few weeks
she had reached port with all colors
flying. TO drop metaphor, she attended
the wedding of her two daughters at
the American chapel on the same morn
ldng After due examination she had
decided that neither of the nice fellows
should go out of the family.
Here is an illustration of much less
skillful attempt at matchmaking, with
a very different denouenaent. A certain
member of Parliament, who owned ex-
tenslve estates, was spending few
days at the residence of noble family.
There were several interesting and ac-
complished young ladies in the family,
to whom the honorable member showed
every attention. Just as he was about
to take leave the nobleman's wife pro-
ceeded to consult him upon matter
which, she declared, was causing her
no little distress. "It is reported, % said
the Countess, ''that you are to marry
my daughter Lucy, and what shall we
do? What shall we say about it?"
co." replied the considerate M. P,
with much adroitness, ''just say she re-
fused me-"
We have said that men do not, as a
rule, figure conspicuously as match
makers; nor do they; but the Judgment
and policy exhibited in this connection
by a knowing old gentleman of our ac-
quaintance could hardly be surpassed
by the most accomplished tactician of
either sex. ''Brown, y said a neighbor
to him one day, 81 don't see how it is
that your girls all marry off as soon as
they get old enough, while none of mine
can marry"
80! that's simple enough he re-
piled; 81 marry my girls off on the buck
wheat-straw principle"
But what principle is that? Never
| heard of it before"
| "Well, | used to raise q good deal of
buckwheat, and it puzzled me to know
how to get rid of the straw Nothing
would eat it, and it was a great bother
to me. At last thought of plan.
stacked my buckwheat straw nicely,
and built high rail fence around it.
NY cattlea ct sci8l{H good, and at once (,
I tore down the fence and began to eat
the straw. drove them away, and put
up the fence a few times; but the more
| hunted them off the more anxious they
became to eat the straw; and eat it they
did, every bit of it. As [ said, l marry
my girls on the same principle. When
a young man that don't like begins to
call on my girls l encourage him in
every way can. l tell him to come
often and stay as late as he pleases; and
take pains to hint to the girls that
think they'd better set their caps for
him. 1t works first rate He don't
make many calls, for the girls treat him
as coolly as they can. But when young
fellow that l like comes around, man
that l think would suit me for a son-in-
law, don't let him make many calls
before give him to understand that he
isn't wanted about my house. tell the
girls, too, that they shall not have any
thing to do with him, and give them
orders never to speak to him again.
The plan always works exactly as wish.
The young folks begin to pity and sym.
pathize with each other; and the next
thing know is that they are engaged
to be married. When | see that they
are determined to marry, l of course
give in and pretend to make the best OF
it. That's the way l manage it,
An old lady who had several unmar-
ried daughters fed them largely on fish
diet, because, as she ingeniously OBJ
served, fish is rich in phosphorus, and
! PHOSPHORUS is the essential thing in
making matches. If the phosphoric
diet caused the young ladies to shine in
society, they in all probability did not
adopt it in vain; for, just as fish are
easily attracted in the night by any
bright light thrown upon the water, so
young men are invariably found to flock
after any girl who ''shines, even
though her accomplishments may be of
a very shallow, superficial or phosphor-
escent character. No experienced
matchmaking mamma requires to be
taught the value of display as an almost
certain means of attraction. That is
the secret of the ball suppers and iced
champagne, the heavy dressmakers'
bills, and the thousand and one other
items of extravaganza that have to be
met in order that the young ladies may
make respectable appearance, and
may finish with a successful match. And
that is why so many of these match
making ventures have SO often resulted
in the most deplorable sequels Dis
play is met with display--tne one fire.
| ouentlv as hollow and false as the other