Morning journal and courier., 1883-06-20
Giving Away the Fence.


 The dismal clouds and mist of last evening had no perceptible effect upon the Yale sen iors, who having passed through their last ex- animation felt the proud satisfaction of being ''edueated" and proceeded forthwith to array themselves in linen dusters, beavers of every sort under the sun and trousers of various styles to indulge in the annual pow-wow upon the campus and then hie away to Morris Cove. The band discoursed sweet strains near the fence and the seniors danced and pummeled each other. Then the crowd rushed to the corner and Mir. Gleason, '85, who had been chosen to give the fence to the freshmen, was hoisted up on the post and spoke substantially as follows:
 Gentlemen of 86:-Prolifc in intellect, reeking in greatness, overfowing with ''gall." a storehouse of Presidents, teeming with l talent, the everlasting perpetuity of Sing Sing assured, lend me your ears. But be l very careful to obstruet no one's view. It is nearly year since covered with glory and conditions you came among us. And as you crowded the campus your brilliant green con | trasted with the surrounding verdure caused the latter to appear faded.
 Before your advent the air was filled with rumors of approaching greatness. The col Iege was on the very tiptoe of expectation and the mathematical professors took ob- servations with view of anchoring New Ha- ven to some neighboring planet to keep it from tipping up. The college prepared itself for the worst, and it came. Gentlemen, you have ably sus- tained the reputation which preceded you, and now you are looked upon by some as the forerunners of the millenium. There never
 was just such class here before, and the faculty were quick to recognize the fact thae though humble now you had great possibili- ties, and when we proposed giving you the
 fence they vigorously opposed it !; and in a faculty meeting to consider the subject Prof. Richards said: 'tThey are too energetic. If
 we give them lien on the fence they'll soon have a mortgage on the whole college" An other one said 'fYou seemed to like
 your own fence well enough and suggested that you bo made to
 sit for another year on the freshmen fence. But President Porter silenced all opposition. "'86," said he, ''are not to be tri1ed with, they won't stand it. If we provoke them they'll rise up and run the whole college.
 
 ing their canes in chapel Washington's birth day, they were so indignant that they all ceas- ed coming to me after prayers, and some are not even on speaking terms with me-" That settled it, and it was decided to give you the fence as an encouragement of sedentary habits, and Mr Tighe was instructed to issue new six cent tract entitled "How to sit on the fence in the freshmen class under the thegemony> of the faculty." Your brains like your feet are large, but | whereas your feet have completely worn out the bottom rails of your fence your brains have kept the upper ones uninjured. | Gentlemen, it is usual to improve the fence l and make it suitable for the reception of the l freshman class, but this year our task has ! been to endeavor to make the freshman class fit for the fence, but the effort is useless. I Place cenfers no dignity upon you, and like l balloon, the higher you rise the smaller | you get. From the time you came among us you have had every advantage The col lege press has zealously aided and defended you, the faculty and the police force have l been untiring in their watchfulness over you and you have had the benefit of the example of model sophomore class, but nevertheless with no perceptible diminution of your freshmen you have nearly finished the first l year of your course and in that time you have become famous for the things you have done, and illustrious for the things you have not done. Your sins of omission far exceed l
 
 shortcomings and allow you to sit on the ! fence. s'All is not goal'd that glitters,'' and the goals you made in your first ball game with Harvard do not shine as your shins can testify. In boating your success has been unE aralleled. But when in the Salton- stall races it was with great interest that we ! watched the novel use of your shell as bat l tering ram, in the last races we gave our undivided attention to your magnificent spurt for the lunch counter at the depot until you were lost to sight in the Chapel ! street sun and darkness settled over the moonlit waters. Gentlemen, 1t was with mingled feelings of admiration and pride I that the college learned that you had been successful in as much as two events at the l athletic games, and when we heard that in l the wrestling match all the competitors were from your class, our admiration knew no 1 bounds, and@the faculty immediately re- solved, in commemoration of your victory, to erect on the campus statue of your distin- ] guished elassmate from the land of the set ting sun, California Jack, the Calling gun of l the sand hills, and to have inscribed beneath l it his never-to-be- forgotten words: 1T am 8 bad man. I come from the far West and l place no value on human life, and then the inscription ''can cane" in Latin. You'll understand it better next year. But there is no need of monument You will never be for | gotten. Your connection with us will ever | be regarded aS the tsgreenest spot in memo \ rvs Waste.' touching story Is told of one ! of your verdant number, who, with reckless | extravaeance and regard for cleanliness far | beyond the average of your class, purchased | six bath tickets at the gymnasium, but only on i the repeated assurance of the ianitor that | they would be good until the close of his | senier year.
 The memory of your classmate who wrote | sDeikunanip asking him to remove his en- | trance condition as he wished to study for 1 the valedictory will ever be tenderly cherish 1 ed as an illustration of your pure unlimited 1 ttrRlr1 and simplicity. Early in the year you l showed traces of that great intellect which | distinguishes you above all others, and | marks you as the future rulers of the | nation, and then the faculty said you knew SO much that they were almost afraid to try 1 and teach you anything. After hearing the alleged singing of your Glee club somebody suggested that Bingo would be good place for. their instructor to psgm: Ine Salvation Army paused to listen, and when you were mentioned as a probable accession to their forces with one accord they exclaimed: l ssGod forbid" As mashers you have been sirnpIvEirresistible, as the 'MaStodon min strels'' can testify. But your importance was most clearly shown when, in company with the Mayor, a brass band and the home nine, your ball nine paraded the principal streets of Waterbury as the Champion Yale college club from New Haven"
 Gentlemen, the freshman year is hard one, and congratulate you on having fn- ished it. You have received good deal of sttaffv. r and you have taken it well. So well in fact that you seem to do it best of anything you have tried For the first time in seven years you have allowed Boston Hcul- chah" baked beans and banged hair to win victory oyer the Yale freshmen, but the vic ll