The Dawson journal., 1883-07-26
HOW AN INsANEMAN FEELS.
Experience of one Crazy for Twelve
Years.

Years.
/ was once insane, and often muse
over my experience There are, of course,
many kinds of insanity. Some mental dis
orders take place SO gradually that even
the closest companions Of the victim are at
a loss to remember when the treGble be-
gun. 1t must have been this way in
many cases. One evening, after an OPP
pressive warm day, day when | expert
enced more fatigue from the heat than
ever before or since, sat on NY porch
tanning myself. "This arm that is now in
motion" unused, 'must one of these days
be dust. l wonder how long will the
time be-" Then I unused upon the evil
dence / had of immortality. / could do
things that other people could not accom-
plish. l had gone through battle after
battle, and though bullets sang and struck
around me thick as hail, yet l remained
aAinjurcd. had passed through epidem-
les of yellow fever. My idea gained
strength as unused, and was convinced
that should live forever. No. this can
not be, for death follows all men alike
Yes ana to die Like other men, and be-
lieve that it is my duty to make the most
OF life; to make money, enjoy myself, and
to educate my children. / wanted to be
rich, and began to study over an imaginary
list of enterprises. At last / hit upon rad
ishes People must have radishes. They
should be in every store. They could be
dried and sold in winter l would plant
fifty acres with radish seed, and people all
over the country would refer to me as the
''radsh king" would form a radish
syndicate and buy up all the radishes and
travel around and be admired I fastened
to the house to tell my wife that she was
soon to be a radish queen. At the break
fast table l said:
Julia, how would you like to be rad
ish queen ?"
ga what ?" she exclaimed.
Iexplained my plan of acquiring great
wealth, and during the recital she acted SO
curiously that l was alarmed, l feared
that she was losing her mind. Finally she
seemed to understand. She agreed with
me, but told me not to say anything more
about it. After breakfast l saw her earn
estly talking with her father, and knew
that she was explaining to the old gentle
man how she intended to pay his debts
when l became known as the radlsh king
The old man approached me with much
concern, and told me that needed rest,
and that / mast not think of business.
Pretty soon / went out to inspect my rad
ish kingdom. Looking around, saw the
old man following me. From the field 1
went to the village. l approached promi
nent citizens, who had always been my
friend, told how l intended to become
rich, he seemed grieved, and saw at once
that he was contemplating the same enter
prise. 1t seemed mean that he should take
advantage of me, and told him so. He
tried to explain, but he made me so mad
that 1 would have struck him if my father
in-law had not come up and separated us.
| tried to calm myself, but could not.
Those who had been my friends proved to
be my enemies, and l was determined to
be avenged, but before I could execute my
will was seized by several men. My ia
ther-in-law did not attempt 10 rescue me,
and | hated him.
was taken to Jail. My wife came to
see me, but she did not try to have me re-
leased. demanded trial, but no lawyer
would defend me. Then l realized that the
entire community was against me. be-
came so mad that anger seemed to hang
over me like dark cloud. 1t pressed me
to the floor and held me there. Men came
after long time and took me away,
thought, to the penitentiary. One day 6
cat came into my cell and tried to bite it
She made the hair fiv, but killed her.
don't know how long / remained here
but one morning the sun rose and shone in
at me through the window. 1t seemed &c
be the first time that / had seen the great
luminary for months. A mist clearedfrom
many eyes. My brain began to work. And
denly realized that had been insane.
called my keeper, and when he saw me he
exclaimed, "Thank God" and grasped my
hand. l was not long in putting on anoth-
re suit of clothes and turning my face to-
wards home. A physician said that was
cured, and everybody seemed bright and
happy at my recovery. boarded the train
with gentleman and went home. My
wife tainted when she saw me, and learned
that / had recovered my mind l asked
for my little children and two big boys and
young lady came forward and greeted
me. l had been in the asylum twelve
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