davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-12-25
The Problem Solved.

Clara Belle.
The interested reader may ask what
is the use in exposing abuses and evils
if haven't a remedy to offer? All
but | have. | am g1ing around this
winter as warm as | look. | have
solved the problem with trousers, and
without making bloomering guy OF
myself. either. They are not apologies
for pantaloons, but good. thick pair,
different from mems only 10 the fact
that they fit snugly from the cali
downward, and iisappear into the
tops of my CATERS. 1 would defy
anybody. aided chance firt of the
skirts afforded, to see that they we're
not ordinary black stockings. So |
am kept at good temperature, and
don't reply upon my petticoats to do
anything but look attractive and
respectable. They are extremely
necessary for those purposes, however,
for breeches of the sort am wearing
are to be strictly secluded.
They are intended for comfort only
NOT only in walking but also in
sitting. They are shaped like twin
hams. Their Brightness at the ankles
and locseness at the hips shape them
after the model of two spinning-tops.
[ laugh at, yet love them. Try
pair.
The girl whom | have described as a
secret shiverer in wholly inadequate
clothes is not rare, and yet she is a
member of the minority. Most of the
woman are all right above
the belt. Fur is common on our upper
sur aces, and waddng is plenty.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-12-25
A Policeman AS a Curiosity.

New York Journal
The residents of the brown-stone
houses in West Sixty-fourth st, near
Tenth ave., were looking out of their
windows yesterday at policeman
patrolling the opposite side of the way.
1t had been months since they had
seen one and he was an object of great
curiosity. The police station of the
precinct is in One Hundredth st. The
beats of the police officers are from
fifteen to twenty-five miles long. A
great moor, with spectral telegraph
poles. will: goats, and desolate OPP: N
spaces, stretches from One Hundredth
st. Policemen often get lost in this
waste while walking their beats. The
lower part of the district has for some
months practically had 10 police pro-
lection. As a result there has been a
reign of terror in West Sixty fourth st.
A gang of marauders have been in
The habit of extinguishing the gas in
the street, and then stretching a rope
across the public highway and tripping
and robbing late pedestrians. OF the
six hous in the brown stone block
FIVE are said to have been robbed
Ladies residing in them have been
almost afrai1 to 60 out in the later
hours of daylight in the sfternao".
People in the street have lived in
their houses almost In a state of block
ale. Beside the robbers almost
lnnumerable trimps are said to besiege
the houses for food. 1t has been
frequent to find them asleep in an
area-way With all the doors of their
houses bolted and barred, the ladies
of the neighborhopd have been in the
habit of handing them out food
through a window with pair of tongs.
1t is not generally considered that the
tramps have co nmiited the highway
robberies aud the burglaries. but that
the crimes have been done by rutfians.
The policeman on guard yesterday
said that he had seen no tramp or
tough looking character In the neigh
borhood. With police protection the
outra ,es are unlikely TO Iecur.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-12-25
Health is WbdIth |

h. G.. VESTS NERVE AND HRuN TkEkE
MEN. -laranteed specific for n terla, IIz1
ness. Cohvulsions, Fits, Nervous Neuralgia
Headache, Nervous Prostitution caused by thu gst
OF alcohol or toba' Wakefulness. Nentai Ue
preston. Softenine : the Brain resulting 10 "a
sanity and leading 10 misery, decay and death
Premature DC Age. Barrcnress. Lose g. r0W5
in either sex. Involuntary Losses and SperLnas
orrhna caused byOyer-exertlon or the Dram SO
abuse or observation-disclosures. Each box cor ,fnS
one months treatment. Sl.00 box, or SIX t. n
for $500. sent by mail prepaid on receipt of r1Ics
WE GUARANTEE SEX BOXES
To cure any case. With each order received oyE
for six boxes, accompanied with SOU we Slk
send the purchaser our written guarantee t. "a
fund the money If the treatment does not effeG
a cure. Guarantees issued only by
Aug. Fleischman, Druggist.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-12-25
Just Like a Woman.

Buck.
They were coming up from Staten
Island, where they had been at an en-
tertainment. Down the bay the wind
blew so hard that one of the deck
hands, who was a triha facetious, ven
tured to give it as his opinion that if
i; didn't lnll directly the boat would
be blown up into the Greenwood GEM
etery.
By gracious, this lie cold, said one
man swinging his arms around wildly
Indeed it is, replied young lady
who was shivering in a seal skin
sacque F.; l never saw anything like it
In my life.
And then they sat down, and got up.
and ran around. and did everything
they could to keep from freezing to
death till the boat landed in New
York.
Then they got into an IL" train.
L don't want to go to Staten Island
any more, she said with her teeth on
a chatter.
Neither do l, replied her chaperon !;
unless | wear a bear skin.
That wouldn't keep you warm
down there. she replied
| don't believe it would. said the
gallant chaperon. When a man goes
to Staten Island at this time of the
year he ought to wear a red hot stove
to keep him warm. In sum ner he
might wear cold stove to keep off the
mosquitoes.
Couldn't a Staten Island mosquito
bite through stove? she asked.
Guess be could, but if he couldn't,
the stove would not keep off the ma
laria, so the man would be settled.
anyhow. Do you feel any warmer
than you did?
No. she replied. feel colder.
So do L. Let's drop into this res
taursnt and warm up.
So they dropped in.
Finally the waiter came and handed
them two bills of fare.
In few minutes the young man
said:
| am very cold. Bring me steak
and a hot cup of coffee.
Then the waiter gazed interroga-
lively at the damsel. She looked up
at the ceiling and then at the floor.
A great mental struggle was going on.
Finally she raised her alabaster lids
and said in as fairy like manner as a
half frozen person with chattering
jaws could say:
Give me plate of ice cream.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-12-25
ASTONISHING ATOMS.
Gratuitously Gathered For
Grateful Gentlewomen
and Gentlemen.
Appropriately and Appetizingly
Applied by an Appointed
Announcer.
Eow to Alarm an Old Maid.

Row to Alarm an Old Maid.
Boston Express.
There was a fire in the Brevoot
hotel, New York, the other night
which created panic among the
guests. Three times the clerk called
fire outside the room of maiden
lady from Syracuse and failed to get
an answer. Remembering the tint
idity of spinsters, he put his mouth
to the ransom and shouted: II be-
lieve there's man under your bed. F"
In two seconds the door opened and
the ancient spinster rushed out with
a pair of hoopskirts in one hand and
tour back curls in the other. The
man under the bed business had
fetched her.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-12-25
The Giddy Drummer.
Cincinnati Enquirer.

Cincinnati Enquirer.
As is known, the little town of
Hsrrodsburg contains a number of
young men who gain livelihood BY
travelling for Cincinnati business
houses, and 10 this way they become
acquainted with divers others of their
own calling. A few weeks ago one of
them fell in with young dude named
italian, who holds up the road for a
Philadelphia watch supply house, and
In the course of the conversation
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-12-25

professional bruiser and does not know
that bis trainers are not acting in
good faith.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-12-25
Or. WHITTIER,
6i7 ST. Charles street, st. Louis, Mo,
DIR. w II TIER
RlS Sc. Ebarlaa STRAIT

Treats all forms of Veneral Diseases, Se,n,
nal Emissions and Sexual Debility, VIII
unparalleled -.ccess. Nc natter who failed.
call or write Imphlet or consultation free
Can -efer to the medical p.ofessicn Ia a
parts cF the Country
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-12-25
One Chinaman Who Got In.


In the case of Chew Fong Lee who
applied for admission to this country
this week, on the ground that he was
student, the learned judge asked
counsel for applicant what art or pro-
fession Lee was studying. He is,
your honor, conducting a series of
experiments and designations in the
art of desiccating and freeing from
moisture tn, long-tailed decapod crust
aceans which inhahit the waters of our
beautiful bay; also in pulverizing the
palamon vulgaris and utilizing the
caropaX of the nacroural and the
cephalO thOrax of the anamoural
species as an article of food" THAT
sounds very good" cried his honor.
81 wish they were all seized with the
same desire to benefit science" Chew
Fong Lee is npw drying shrimps and
small crabs out at the Potrero, and
says: my liar all same welly smart
man.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-12-25
To Knock out Sullivan.

Philadelphia Call
TIE "White Star of Texas" is now
in training to enter the prize ring.
He will fight Gopher Bill" in this
city next Monday night for $1,000,
and after that intends to knock out
Sullivan for 10000 stakes. At pres.
ent the "Star" is undergoing the
most remarkable course of training on
record. This week he has been walk.
ing around Franklin square with a
dumbbell fastened to each leg. He
has had ice water baths in a tub and
has had his legs beaten black and
blue with billiard cues. To-day he
was hitched to a swill cart and trotted
three miles. After that beer barrel
was tied to one leg and dumbbell to
the other, and he walked a mile.
Then he was again beaten with bill.
lard cues and sand papered from head
10 foot. His diet is bananas. Fel
drink be is given mixture of brown
stout and mustard, gin, molasses,
soda water and pepper sauce. His
name is Harry Snagg. He is about
twenty-four years old. and until re-
Gently he was a brickmaker in a vii.
lage of North Pennsylvania. He is a
nonomaniac on the subject of being q
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-12-25

even to give correct account of what
they looked like. If we can nov
explore into angelic anatomy by the
aid of the fossils, we may be able to
solve many puzzles concerning the
angels which have hitherto been
shrOuded in mys cry.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-12-25
Cheerfulness.

Many people are always complain
in of their circumstances. Are there
not persons from whom you can seldom
hear the contented tone? They have
had, or are going to have all the
ills flesh is heir to. There are
people vino never leave in
the right place, who are in the
wrong business. Misfortune is their
daily bread They are bruised aud
wounded, sighted and oImented,
misused, afflicted.
Cheerfulness and cOntentment never
made any mans lot harder to bear.
but many. many is the time they have
made trials easier to bear and circum
stances endurabIe. Many people are
never quite so happy as they used t"
be. They ne:er have quite so warm.
dear friends as i'm former times, or in
other places. Friend, the good you
now have aud present friends are not
to be despised. Is there then so much
good in life that We can afford to
throw any of it away? Why not make
the most of the good we have? Let us
stand off from despond ncies. Listen
for sweet notes rather than discord.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-12-25
New Theory About the Angels

A''fossil angel is surley a novel i'lea
if not a perfectly happy one. 1t IL
promulgated 10y the Rev. Mr.. Hodg-
son. an English clergyman. He wants
to make an explanation as to the
existence of certain pre- Adamic re-
mains" which shall be satisfactory to
science and yet in harmony with what
he supposes TO be Scrlptural truth
So he saws that these remains are
nothing more nor less than fossil
angels" How he found it out no man
knows. Probably these fossils are the
bones of angles who came t. earth on
errands from the upper world. and.
haying failed to accomplish what they
were sent for, got tripped up somehow
or other by mastodOns, megatheriums
or megalosauruses. IF they can be
identified as the remains of angelic
visitors it will be interesting to examine
their shoulder blades and discover,
if possible, the curious way in which
wings are attached independently of
the arms. The pictures which repre-
sent angels with goose-wings thus
attached must have some foundation
in nature. AS far as heard f-om. no
dissection of an angels wing has yet
been made. Real angels have always
been hard ito catch. The persons to
whom they have appeared have been
too badly frightened to detain them, or
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-12-25
Around the World on a Bicycle

0toNAo chO w OI1o OA q olCy GIG.
sea Francisco Call.
A young English bicyclist now in
this city, has arranged for himself a
years arduous work. He says that
he intends to winter here, and In the
spring proposes to make a trip around
the world on his bicycle. He will
start from this city eastward by way
of Ogden, Omaha, and Chicago. and
crossing the Atlantic from New York,
will ride from Liverpool to Dover.
He will cross the English channel to
France and ride through Europe into
Asiatic Turkey, then through Persia
and Turkestan into the Chinese EN-
pire, and make his way down the val
ley of the Yang-tse-Kiang to Shang-
hal, and thence by vessel to San Fran
cisco, consuming a year in the travel
ling He says he considers the trip
from Sacramento to Reno the most
difficult piece of road for bicycle.
and looks with some dismay at his
proposed trip through Asia, where a
bicycle has never been seen, or per-
haps heard of.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-02-16

not take to the road to Heaven. which
is no longer narrow and thorny, but
broad and well kept, they will never
get there
UP TO three or four years ago the
theaters used to be very subdued
during Lent. True, they all kept
open but the plays were familiar "old
timers" and the attendance used to
be very poor. Now, perhaps more
care is taken to provide dramatic
pabulum during the Lenten season
than for any other term, and as a re-
suit, the theaters do better business
these forty days than perhaps during
the preceding four months. There
is not manager at present who does
not look forward to better bank &C.
count.
met leading picture dealer the
other day, on Broadway and during
long walk had an extended talk with
him on art and artists. "'rhis is the
season of the ysar," said he, "when
art sales begin, but SO far they have
been pitifully bad. l attended a sale
the other evening by one Of our best
auctioneers, who generally succeeds
in gathering the best class of buyers
about him. Well his sale that even.
ing was veritable slaughter. Com
positions which ought to have
brought three or four hundred dol
lars went for from twenty to fifty dol
lars-scarcely as much as the frames
were worth. One little gem by
well know artist, female head, full
OF beauty, conception, fneness of
drawing and charm Of coloring, was
picked up by lucky fellow for eight
dollars. The artist could have dis
posed of it a few weeks ago for one
hundred dollars at private sale, but
he thought it was worth two hundred
dollars and hence sent it to the auc-
ton sale. Now the frame on that
canvas cost thirty-fve dollars, so you
can imagine what the poor fellow of
an artist lost on his work"
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-02-16
TIE Times.
OWOSSO, MICHIGAN.
GEO. M. DEWEY, EDITOR.
Republican State Convention.

A Republican State Convention to nomi
nate Justices OF Supreme Court in place o
Benjamin +. Graves, whose term will expire
December 81, 1883. and to fill the vacancy
caused by the resignation OF Isaac Marston
filed to take effect February 20, 1888; also
two Regents OF the University in place Of
Samuel S. Walker, whose term will expire
December 81, 1883. and Lyman ID. Norris
appointed to fill the vacancy caused by the
resignation of Byron M. Cutchcon, will be
held at the Academy of Music in the city OF
EAST SAGINAW on Wednesday, the 2Sth
day Of February, 1883. at II o'clock a. m.
Counties will be entitled to one delegate for
each 500 votes cast for Governor at the last
lection. and one additional delegate, and one
additional delegate for every fraction of 900
votes. Each organized county will be enti-
tied to at least one delegate.
Under resolution heretofore adopted, no
dele ate will be entitled to seat in the Con-
vention who does not reside in the county
he proposes to represent
Secretaries of County Conventions are re-
quested to forward certified lists of the de-
legates chosen to S. S. Odds, Secretary Re.
publican State Central Committee, Lansing,
Mich. as soon as practicable after their sew.
cral conventions are held.
4. S. LACEY, Chairman X. S. C. c.
5. S. OLDs, Secretary
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-02-16
A Rare Chance.
For $2.85
THETIMES
AND
THE WEEKLY
Detroit Free Press.
WITH A.
PREMIUM BOOK
TO EACH SUBSCRIBER.

We are pleased to announce to our read
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Detroit Weekly FREE PRESS. The
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HYPERION. BY ii. w. Longfellow.
OUTRE-MER. BY III. w. Longfellow.
THE HAPPY BOY, AND ARNE BY
Bjornsterde Bjornson.
FRANKENSTIEN OR THE MODERN
PROMETHEUS. BY Mrs. Mary w.
Shelley.
CLYTIE. BY Joseph Hatton.
THE MOONSTONE. BY Wilkie Collins
THE COMING RACE; OR THE SIEGE
OF GRANADA. BY Lord Lytton.
THE THREE SPANIARDS. BY G.
Walker
THE TRICKS OF THE GREEKS UN-
YELLED. BY Robert Houdin
L'ABRE CONSTANTINE. BY l.. Halvey
THE DARK COLLEEN. Mrs. Buchanan
SEEKERS AFTER GOD. G. Farrer.
THE GREEN MOUNTAIN BOYS.
FLEURETTE. BY Eugene Scribe.
SECOND THOUGHTS. Rhoda Brogh-
ten.
THE NEW MAGDALEN. w. Collins.
DIVORCE. BY Margaret Lee.
LIFE OF WASHINGTON. BY Henley.
IRENE; OR THE LONELY MANOR.
BY Carl Dctlef.
VICE VERSA. by i. Anstey.
JOHN HALIFAX. BY Miss Mulock.
LIFE OF MARION. BY Horny.
THE HERMITS. BY Rev. Kingsley.
DUKE OF KANDOS. BY A. Mathey.
EAST LYNN. BY Mrs. Henry Wood
JANE EYRE. BY Charlotte Bronte.
HYPATIA. BY Rev. Charles Kingsley.
MARRIAGE IN HIGH LIFE.
LAST DAYS OF POMPEII. Bulwer.
IVANHOE. Sir Walter Scott
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
VICAR OF WAKEFIELD. Goldsmith.
THE FRENCH REVOLUTION.
CORRINE Madame DeStael
BRIEF BIOGRAPHIES. Smiles.
TOM BROWN AT RUGBY. Hughes.
THE KORAN OF MOHAMMED.
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The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-02-16

oflabor which we are seeking to pro-
tect from competition with the half
paid labor Of the old world. Protect
the labonng man by enabling him to
get good pay for his services and the
produc. Of his labor will protect it.
self. 1t is Ia6oy not capital which is
to-day benefited by the Tariff system.
under which we are now enjoying
such unprecedented prosperity as a
nation, and as individuals.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-02-16

1t amuses US to see the alac rity
which the opposition press displays
in attempting to secure the election
Oft. w. Ferry for a third term in the
Senate. They did not thus endorse
Mr.. Chandler, they never have thus
endorsed any man who had been
able to do for the country any service
as Republican, hence their support
Of Mr.. Ferry must be attributed to
the receipt of consideration. Will
the opposition tell the public honest.
ly, whether it is cash equivalent, or
the promise of political aid in the
near future which anmates them.
We presume they will not attempt to
deny that there is or is to be qnfH
br0 que for their arduous labors to
elect as Senator n Republican who
cannot be elected by Republican
votes because he is ga boss ringster.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-02-16

AT the State Convention of Agri
cultural societies held at Lansing on
the 9th inst, the following resolution
was adopted
"Resolved, That, in the sense of the
association, all booths, beverages,
gaming devices, tent shows and side
enterprises of an immoral or intern
perate character ought to be excluded
from the fair grounds of every society
in this state"
We hope it may be rigidly enforced
at the fair of the Shiawassee Agricul-
tural Society.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-02-16

A great deal is being said in the
newspapers about the hotel bill of
Senator Ferry at Lansing Well, if
the bill is just and legal it ought to
be Paid, but that seems to be a mat
ter between the proprietor of the
Lansing House and the Senator.
We do not think it has anything to
do with the Senatorial contest, or
that it should be the theme for public
gossip as it seems to be the purpose Of
some to make it, or of newspaper
controversy.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-02-16

A call is published for meeting
to be held at Chicago, on the 4th of
July, 1883, to organize National
Anti-monopoly party. The call is
largely signed by citizens of Illinois,
Indiana, Nebraska, California and
Michigan, with quite representation
from the Middle States and New
England. The Chicago Tribune
says, "the movement is likely to as
sumo more formidable proportions
than it has hitherto possessed and is
generally regarded as favorable to the
candidacy of Gov. Butler for Presi-
dent in 1884" From the leading
editorial in the Hastings Journal of
last week we should judge the editor
favored that movement and was
about to abandon the Greenback
policy and party.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-02-16

Since 1852, AZ different liquor reg.
ulating acts have passed the Legisla-
ture of Maine, none of which have
proved as efficient to prohibit the
sale Of intoxicants as it was hoped
each of them would be, and now the
people propose to try Constitutional
prohibition of the sale or manufac
ture Of all in,oxicants including wine,
beer and cider.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-02-16
Republican County Convention.

A Republican County Convention will be
held at the Court House in the city of Cor.
unna on Saturday, February cath, 1883,
at one o'clock p. m, for the purpose of elect
ing eleven delegates to the State Convention
which meets at East Saginaw on Wednesday,
18th day of February, 1883, at eleven o'clock
a. me-, to nominate two Justices of the Su.
Preme Court in place of BENJAMIN F. Graves
and Isaac Marston, also two Regents of the
University in place of Samuel S. Walker and
Lyman ID. Norris.
The several towns will be entitlrd to dele.
gates as follows.