davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23
Various Things.
From the Boston Transcript

The coolest thing in the world-The
kitchen oilcloth to your bare feet in a
winters night
The hottest thing-A raisin lying in
ambush in a mouthful of hot plum
pudding.
The dullest thing "a funny news
paper.
The longest thing Your friends
fayorite story
The shortest thing memory Of
the perpetual borrower.
The biggest thing-The fortune you
expect to make Depreciation.
The smallest thing-The fortune
which you do make.
The toughest thing-The young
wife's pie crust
The softest thing-The conversation
which passes between dock and a
dearie.
The highest thing murcury
in the thermometer, about this time.
The hardest thing-The bit of bone
that you "come right down on, when
eating chops.
The easiest thing-Lying.
The tightest thing-The marriage
tie; that is to say it used to be, but
now it is the loosest.
The prettiest thing in the
mirror, and you will see it.
The brightest thing-The suns light
shot into your eyes as it comes re-
Elected from the piece of looking
glass in the hands of the mischievous
small boy.
The silliest thing Thinking that
wealth produces happiness. Wouldn't
you like to be knocked silly, provided
the money cameo
The freshest thing You know him.
he is everywhere. However he will
get sailed in time.
The stalest thing Common sense,
The quickest thing -The flee,
The slowest thing-An amateur
drama by amateur performers.
The heaviest thing A long sermon
on hot Sunday afternoon.
The lightest thing A lovers vow.
The thickest thing-Your tongue
when coming home from the lodge. "
The thinnest thing The story you
tell your wife. next morning
The wettest thing -The foot of the
small boy with a new pair of rubber
boots.
The driest thing-You have just
been reading it.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23
TELEGRAPHIC.
GENERAL NOTES.

OK the Rochester track, Thursday.
Jayeye-See made mile in 2:l4. the best
time on record for "A 5-year-old. and took
the special purse of $4,000
THE South Carolina Railway company
has expressed its willingness to furnish
free transportation TO organize bodies of
negroes who Will agree never TO return
to the state.
ACAsE of yellow fever having occurred
at the navy-yard in Pensacola. instruc-
tions have been telegraphed from Wash
ington to transfer the marine guard to
Cape Arson, six miles distant.
SINCE the adjournment of congress
$50, 900 gallons Of spirits have been ex-
ported and IL, 900 barrels await shipment
at Newport News, Virginia.
CAPTAIN RHODES, after being warned
by the Canadian authorities, made an
inspection of the whirlpool in Niagara
river and abandoned his plan of imper-
ling his life.
/ REPRESENTATIVES of the Western As
ISOLATED Press, en- route for the Yellow
stone region, were taken over the North
western road from Chicago to St. Paul,
400 miles, in III hoU 5.
MANY farmers in Champaign county,
/ Illinois, planted corn obtained from
southern Kansas, and now report that
the stalks are fifteen feet high nut there
is no prospect of ears.
The National Convention Of the anti
music party Of the United Presbyterian
Church met at Allegheny City, Tuesday
1000 ministers and elders being in at
tendance.
BISHOP HARRIS presided at Ocean
Grove, n. j., Tuesday at the anniver-
sary of the Womens Home Missionary
Society Of the NJ f.. Church. Mrs. II.
b. Hayes is President Of the organiza-
ton
THE iron strikers at Bethlehem, Pa,
receiving no financial aid from the cen
trail organization, disbanded their lodge
of the Amalgamated Association Tues.
day, and applied TO the mill-owners to
be taken back Most of them will be
reinstated in their former positions.
THE senate subcommittee on labor and
education convened in the postoffice
building in New York, Wednesday, and |
commenced an investigation Of the tele-
graph strike by examining Master Work /
man John Campbell, of Pittsburgh,
THE attendance at the Ohio conference |
camp-meeting at Lancaster Sunday is |
estimated at 1900 and the horses and /
wagons covered space of fifty acres /
Harrison, the revivalist, drew score Of /
converts TO the altar.
THE street-car officials of st. Louis |
were arraigned on charge of violating /
the Sunday law, but the jurors decided /
that the charters of the companies I
forced them to run every day, and that |
cars had become necessity to the /
public.
A COMMITTEE Of six striking telegraph .
operators held an interview with Gener-
al Eckert, of the Western Union com
pany, and were advised to make appli-
cation to their respective superinten-
dents. His counsel was warmly indors-
ed by the executive committee of the .
company. The executive board of the .
brotherhood sent General Eckert let /
ter stating that the organization would /
carry on the fight with renewed vigor +
by every Legitimate means.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

Deep planting is one error-to plant
a tree rather shallower than 1t former
ly stood is really the right way, whilst
many plant a tree as they would a
post. Roots are of two kinds-the
young and tender rootlets, composed
entirely of cells, the feeders of the
trees, always found near the surface
getting air and moisture; and roots of
over one year old, which serve only as
supporters of the tree and conductors
of its food. Hence the injury that en-
sues when the delicate rootlets are SO
deeply buried in the earth. Placing
fresh or green manure in contact with
the young roots is another great error.
The place to put manure is on the sur
face. where the elements disintegrate,
dissolve and carry it downward. NJ
merous forms of fungi are generated
and reproduced by the application of
such manures directly to the roots,
and they Immediately attack the tree
1t is very well to enrich the soil at
uansplanting the tree, but the man
ure, if to be in contact with or very
near the roots, should be thoroughly
decomposed -Ploughman
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

THE Western Union Telegraph Com
pany has filed in the United States
Circuit Court at Philadelphia, its de
mumer to the suit brought by the
Commonwealth Of Pennsylvania, for
oyerreaching its legal rights in con
solidating with different competing
companies, and monopolizing the bus
mess Of telegraphy in Pennsylvania.
The demurrer was prepared by com-
sci for the company, Attorney Gener-
ri Brewster being one of the number.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

INSPECTOR HAwoRTH, who has gen
eral supervisory charge of Govern
ment Indian schools, reports rapid
progress in the construction and equip
ment of Indian school houses, which
by January Will accommodate 10, $50
pupils. Inspector Haworth says the
attendance the present year has been
much larger, than in any preceding
year-a result TO be attributed to a
recitation by the Indians Of the fact,
that they must look to pursuits other
than the chase for means of suhsis-
tence in the future.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

THEgood results of Stanley'S eNpcdi-
uons into Africa are beginning to APP
pear practically On his second tray
ersing of that continent, i'm 1879.
under the patronage of the King of
the BelgianS, Stanley established nine
trading stations at intervals along the
Congo, "a distance of 400 miles from
the coast, pointing a commercial high
way that can be carried 600 miles
into the heart of Africa, as proved by
his explorations in 1877. So well did
Stanley manage this enterprise he won
the good will of the natives, by mo
means the smallest difficulty involved
in the undertaking The good effect
of this Is shown in the fact that a
white man, as in the case of the cor
respondent Of the London Telegraph
can safely travel, with only three at
tendants. a distance of 250 miles iutC
the interior beyond Stanley Pool
which is 10 miles from the sea, anC
be everywhere treated with kindness
and cordiality. This result was gaineC
in three years, with the most feroc
ious and hostile natives to overcome
The mission work has already begun
there being seven or eight sta
tons, Catholic and Protestant, below
the cataractS
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

A COMMITTEE of the Telegraphers'
Brotherhood waited ON Gen. Eckert
in New York City, and evidently ask
ed for terms Gen. Eckert advised
them, as friend aud wellwisher, 10
get work rs individuals wherever they
could now find it, and at the best
terms to be secured This was re
garded as unworthy of consideration,
and the Western Union Company was
informed subsequently that the non
working telegraphers would "coptin
ne the fight. Elsewhere the aspect
of the great strike is unchanged
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23
ACCIDENTS

HEMP L. You've. agent at Cincinna-
Il OF the Grand Rapids and Indiana
road. killed himself at his office with a
revolver
FIVE buildings at Abba. Iowa. valued
with their contents at S25, 600, owere
burned Thursday.
CHARLES WHEELER, we'll known in
banking circles in Philadelphia, died
suddenly Of heart disease in the street,
on returning from Newport.
MISS FANNIE DouGAL. a fayorite in
social circles ut Windsor Ontario. fen
dead of heart disease at Hickory island.
where she had been camping out with a
party of friends.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

The iron strikers at Bethlehem, Pa
receiving no financial aid from the cen
trail organization, have disbanded
their lodge Of the Amalgamated Asso.
citation, and applied to the mill-own-
ers to be taken back. Most of them
will be reinstated in their former posi-
tions
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

ADJUTANT-GENERAL Drum is max
ing practical inquiry into the condi,
ton Of the States militia. He will
soon ascertain exactly what number
of troops could be furnished in forty
eight hours, were call for 20O, 600 sol
diers by the President.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

Two race horses came in collision on
the track at Charlotte, Michigan, the
other day. One was killed and the
other seriously injured The horse
Raymond, which was killed, was val
ued at $1,000
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

The collapsed firm of New England
tanners who undertook to corner
the leather market recently and got
busted" in consequence, report their
total liabilities at 81, 500, 600
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

ADyIcEs from South America re
port several earthquake shocks last
month in Chill, Peru and San Saliva
dor From Central America comes
the report that the volcano in Near
ague threatens the village of Omet-
am
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

A LIVE Indian gave the Great
Father a pony for his little girl, and
several great American statesmen
are terribly alarmed over possible
consenupncpS
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

For the six months ending August
/, 100 persons were killed and 40l in
iured by the railroads in the state of
New York.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23
Probably Safe.

A New Hampshire farmer who
heard of a New Yorker stopping at
one of the mountain hotels, drove
thirteen miles one day last week to
ask him if he thought the prospective
shortage of crops would bring about
another financial panic. He waited
around the hotel for several hours,
and finally ascertained that the man
he wanted to see was absent. and
would be gone all day.
Where has he gomez
Over to Silver creek.
What fur2'
''To fish.
Gone afshin, and calkerlatin' to
be gone all day"
YES.
Took a bottle of brandy and a
lunch and a silver-plated fish pole,
and went off kinder onconsarned did
he"
We'll then, l guess I'll jog back
hum and finish them 'taters, contin-
ued the old man with a sigh of relief
1T kinder seems to me that if this
kentrie was in danger of kerhumux
them chaps from New York wouldn't
come here to fool their time away
suckin in mornin' fogs and scrapin'
the creeks fur fish-bones wall
Street News
An Ithaca young man took a large
dose of hard luck last Friday. He at
tempted to cross Cayuga lake in a
skif, when he was capsized. In at
tempting to right the boat he caught
his foot in log and wrenched it, los
ing at the same time a she, 500
watch, his hat and the boat. He final
~ reached the shore, and was hob
bling across a field, when bull start
ed for him. Reaching a tree, he skin
ned up its trunk lively enough to es-
cape the bull, but also lively enough
to stir up a hornets nest. The hornets
objected, and he sprang to another
limb, which broke, letting him fall to
the ground, fracturing his wrist.
With the broken branch he kept the
bull at bay and managed to escape,
but is now suffering with heart
trouble precipitated by the exciting
adventures of his unlucky Friday
Auburnian.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

HANLAN won the rowing contest at
Watkins, n. Y, making three miles
in 2019, three len ahead of Hos
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

~--' WINSTON FORSYTH Co, y. e.
Gents desire to express to you my thanks tor
your wonderful Hop Bitters Twas troubled with
dyspepsia for five years previous 70 commencing
he use OF your Hop Bitters some six months ag9
MY cure has been wonderful / am pastor Of the
First Methodist Church of this place and ny
whole congregation can testify to the great virtues
Of your bitters
Very respectfully,
REV Fl. FEREBE..
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23
FROM THE CAPITAL

MIR. J. STONE Of Minnesota. is acting
Chief Clerk Of the Wan DEPARTMENT in
the absence of MIR John @weedle.
THE First.Gomptroller Of the Treasury
has decided that Chief Supervisor Of
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

DURING the week ending July q
there were 1859 births and 1871
deaths in the city of London TAX
ing into account the increase of popu-
lation. the births were 43 below and
the deaths 81 above the average
number in corresponding weeks Of
the last ten years. For the five
weeks preceding there had been a
steady increase in the dea-h rate, the
mean temperature being rs degrees
below the average for corresponding
time in twenty years.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23
Sink en- win ConYnlslye Tremors.

Then parched with fever, then well nigh disS0ly
ed in clammy sweat. Is not the repetition of such
"a course of horrors every few days enough TO
wreck the strongest constitution Undoubtedly.
Even when sufferers from fever and ague and
bilious remttent succeed in overcoming these d.
sraseS il takes long 90 repair their ravages. That
popular and effective remedy for the maarial
pest and its standard preventive, Hostetter's
stomach Bitters not only eradicates IT, but builds
MP a system worn and enfeenled by its periodical
attacks Nor is there a surer safeguard against
miasmatc diseases than this genial regulator and
tonic For disorders Of the stomach. liver and
bowels organs as a rule hurtfully affected by inn
pure water and unaceustomed diet, IL Is a speedy
and thorough means Of relief. II is equally % be
teuended upon bv nvalids who resort TO it for its
migrating effects and 20 remedy dyspepsia,
rheumatic and kidney troubles. Il improves APP
petite as well as the ability 20 crafty DO without
subsequent discomfort.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-08-23

A full feeling after meals, dyspepsia heart.
burn and general ni-health relieved by Brown 5
Iron RitterS
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-12-16
THE ROCK RAILROAD AGAIN

Our venerable friend, II. D. j.,
has a communication in another
part of this issue concerning the
right of way for the proposed rail-
way from the Utah Central depot
to the Fort Douglas military reser~
walton. AS the article seems to
have been written, not for the pur-
pose of accomplishing any object,
but merely to exercise the writer's
right to find fault with existing
things, it will probably do all that it
set out to do-namely, nothing. IL
D. Us structures and inslnUations
regarding THE HERALD and its re-
marks concerning the proposed
railway are as cranky as they are
unjust. The HERALD merely
stated what the law is. 1t didn't
make the law, and so long as it re-
mains newspaper and not legis-
lator, it will not presume to repeal
the act, though II. d. J. may at
tempt the latter without being
either one or the other.
He suggests as much in his ill-con-
sidered plant. In case there are
others as cranky as our frlend-so
cranky that they cannot read what
| is Wrltten-THE HERALD will, for
their special enlightenment and
satisfaction-the masses already IN
derstand the fact-explain that it is
opposed to any more railroad tracks
being laid along the: streets OF the
city, and has objected AMI does now
decidedly object to locomotives and
trains passing Through the public
thoroughfares,.except on the main
| lines running to the depots. At the
same time, it realizes that under ex
] sting laws the evil cannot b
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-12-16
ASSAILED BY A POET.

The prose writer's having failed to
fire the American heart to such
degree as to cause it to consume
Mormons and Mormonism, one
Hugh Farrar McDermott has
tackled the problem with poetry
In seven eight-line verses, with
more or less rhyme about them, he
assails the institution in language
that is more forcible than poetic
He wants "Honor's wife and Hon,
or's maid," to "give their patriotic
aid" and goodness sublime, to
LAY the swinish Mormon low
With Virtues blow.
Then Mr.. McDermOt5 commands
i'm poetry, mind you-the gallant
youth to look his sweetheart in the
eye-which the young man will
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-12-16
France and China.

Paris, 15.-It is stated that owing to
the revolution in hue, and the death OF
King Hipems, government has ordered
Admiral Corbett to remain upoA the de-
iensive until further reinforced. An un-
easy feeling is again apparent here, owing
to the silence Of government in regard to
affairs in the east. The bours9 is sgits-
ted end prices are dropping.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-12-16
The Irish.

Dublin, 15.-Placards bearing the sig
nature of Col. Stuart Knox, orange
grand master, posted in Dugancn. an
nounce a monster meeting of OrsDgemen
at Dromare, County Down, on the first
OF January, in, opposition to the meeting
of Parnellites at the same time and place.
Lord Rossmore will be present.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-12-16
Affairs in Egypt.

Cairo, 15.-There is great excitement
among Mussulmsns and Christians in
Upper Egypt, attributed to the action OF
American missionaries. Cophs are def
ant. and a popular outbreak is lmmin-
emit. The governor of Liout has warned
the Egyptian government Of the situa-
ton.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-12-16

abated, and it is not, like FL. D. j.,
so vain as to say that because it
would like things otherwise, i. is
wrong and unlawful to have them
as they are. One of the most I'M
pleasant and Improbable passimes
in this world is to find fault merely
for the sake OF fault-fnding.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-12-16

PAVS0OAy 0Os2AA h0 dssSA SSSAA 49,
!, dulging in. 80 much "booze'
that he can't look any
thing In the eye. The poet
object in this ocular proceeding is t.
have the gallant youth say whether
he can be persuaded" to see hi
girl degraded"
By the vile, polluting bears
From Europe's shores.
Mr.McDermott now devotes eight
Lines to putting conundrum in
verse to brothers; what he is de.
sirous of finding out being whether
they, the brothers, have sisters
they adore, and, if so, whether they
will impart to their ears-pink ears,
we presume--c certain awful vices
and crimes that "foul the air" and
"blanch the hair"
Crimes that kill the soul with swinish
lust
And beasts disgust.
Next question is asked the yeO-
man-which is poetry for plain far
mer. INC" wants to know if the
yeomen,
Clean-limbed, hardy, brave and strong,
will suffer and bow to the wrong,
and will "stand" upon their native
ssland"
While the loathsome lust Of Europe pours
Out on your shores.
The next exhortation is to the
father, and urges him to inform his
offspring with his sighs and anxious
fears where the hope for virtue lies,
While the fostering spawn
Of Europe's scum 10 drawn
To reeking Utah's carnal ground,
Where lechery's crowned.
The old gentleman will please call |
his youngsters together in obedience !
to the above commsnd, and tell in
regard to the whereabouts of the
hope for virtue. This is highly !
matter, and the young
people ought to be posted in it.
Now the son, sire, wife and maid,
all with "insulted souls afire," are
invited to trout the swine" and to
VOW by woman's love. heaven
sbove, and other things too numer-
,us to mention in a column poem,
Ehes crushed shall bs this Mormon lust
Deep in the dust.
In conclusion our poet wants In
ignation's. furnace to sweep" like
waves from ocean deep
ut furnaces, whether Indignation's
r anybody else's, don't sweep. Per-
APPS it is Indignation's broom, or
esoms or may be the long handled
rush that he meant, but it wouldn't
byme, and besides it is not poetic,
ence he makes furnace do service
5 a broom and wants it to sweep
rom the birthplace OF the free.
This ulcer gall and gsnerene rot,
This Sod, ms lot.
Poor, sad eyed Utah has had hard
ruggle these many years, battling
yainst elegant and ugly, crude and
Fined, grammatical and ungram-
.atical prose So far she has with
God the assaults Of the pen and
word; hut there now arises doubt
to her future. POetry-that is to
", Mr.. Hugh Farrar McDermott's
oetry-is pretty tough enemy to
lcOunter. If the Territory can
Gather this assault, and come out
it'll an undisturbed stomach, she
i'll have no further need TO, physi-
ans, either Congressional or min
terial.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-12-16
THE DAILY HERALD is published

THE DAILY HERALD Is published
every morning. Mondays excepted, at
East Temple Street, near First South,
Salt Lake Oitv. by the HERALD
PRINTING and PUBLISHING COMPANY,
Subscription price SIU.50 Ger snnum,
postage incluoed; parts of the year at
the same rate. To weekly Subscribers,
collections made by carriers. twenty
five cent week.
TIE SEMI WEEKLY HERALD is
published every Wednesday and Sat-
urdsy morning. a. $3.50 yesr; six
months, Si.75; postage included.
TIE WEEKLY HERALD is published
every thursday morning at 81 yea,
six months 81, Us, postage included.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-12-16

WHY WILL YOU cough when
ihiloh's Cure win give Immediate
elief. Price 10c., 60c. and 81. Sold
w. G. u. I. Drug Store QD
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-10-27
CITY AND DISTRICT.

BENJAMIN FRASELIS DAY.-For two years past n
dy has been set apart in the public schools for ex-
efcls.s In neinoflaIn OF some distinguished Ameri-
can The exercises, though not uniform through
Out the schools have been arranged as to give The
pupils knowledge OF the life and Character OF the
man th'is honorcd. The rirSt subject chosen two
years ago, was Washington Last year the schools
Lad u IonSieliOw day. This year BENJAMIN Frank
III VIII De the subject, and the nth OF January the
anniversary OF the birthday OF the philosopher and
statesman VIII DC set apart as Franklin day Half
the day VIII be devoted TO exercises having some
relation 10 the subject OF the hour. In the lower
SCHOOLS the children viii tell something OF his life
ana give quotations rom his InaXimS. In the up-
per schools, probably, FranklinS achievements In
Silence philosophy and politics viii be discussed
The National Rifles viii inaugurate series OF
Saturday night hops tonight, TO continue through
out The season. The dancing viii be from to II
O'Clock.