Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-10-04
SQUIBS.


nounces the death at that place of S.
s. Montague, chief engineer of the
Central Paciac railroad, aged 46.
Doctor, said man to his physi-
clan, who had just presented bill of
$50 for treatment during a recent i'll
ness, L have not much ready money.
Will YOU not take this out in trader
ooh, yes, cheerfuliy,n answered the
doctor; Il think that we can arrange
that-but what is your business" Il
am cornet player was the startling
reply
Kate Claxton has dropped the fire
escape racket, and gone to suing hotel
proprietors for the diamonds she has
lost. It's good deal safer and doesn t
alarm her audiences
Ward McAllister, Jr., has been en-
gagged by the negro population of San
Francisco to present in court the case
of the colored man who was recently
elected from a restaurant there ON ac-
count of his color Mr. McAllister's
grandfather was one of the largest
Shareholders in Georgia
Captain John Avis, who died at
Charlestown. w. Va, last week, was
the taller of John Brown during the
Imprisonment of the famous Adolf
ZIONIST.
An article in AN exchange is emit
tied "ReligioNs Umbrellas" A re
one that doesn't leave the church fif-
teen minutes before It's owner and
send a 25-cent substitute to take its
place.
Fashionable ladies are fast discard
ing the picket fence style of penman-
ship. They've got tired of writing
their husbands to bring them new
dress and having a washtub brought
home, says the Boston Bost benedict.
"Why, Smith, what a dreadful
state of intoxication you are in"
This dre'ful state 'toxicationl Just
oughter seen me tn other night. This
'sonly ter'tory to it.
Mamma, you should avoid ex-
tremes," replied philosophic boy
when his mother boxed his jaws
Very well, my son, shall strike
happy medium, and she laid him
across her knee.
A physician said loosely to police
man one evening, II always feel safe
when | see policeman in the even
ing, for there is no danger about
Yes safer than feel when | have
doctor, was the retort.
A Massachusetts, man has bequeath-
ed DR. Mary Walker the considerable
sum of $4,000 Eugene Field ungal-
lantly expresses the hope that she
will start upon a trip around the
world and spend all her money by the
time she reaches the extreme southern
tip of Africa.
." am much struck-that is to say,
pleased-with the widow Black, re
marked a young curate to his bishop,
and think I'll propose marriage to
her" 80 [ would, answered the
elder divine, with a merry twinkle in
his eye, and next Sunday I'll come
down and preach FOR you on the wild
owls smite.
According to a Kentucky paper,
lightning struck contribution box as
it was being passed around in a
Breathitt county church recently, and
scattered the fragments in all direc-
tons. All the S. and $40 bills must
have been consumed by the electric
fluid, for all that was found in the
shape of money was a plugged quarter
with one side engraved for a sleeve
button.
Yang Zip, a Chinese laundryman
of Oil City, Pa, is one of the latest
victims to the matrimonial fever. He
viii soon start for China for the pur-
pose of getting married He has
never seen his intended bride or ever
wrote her a line, but he has an accom-
modating mother in China who has
arranged everything, and the young
celestial will see his wife for the first
ime ON the day of their n a riage.
Among the trophies that Jem Mace
has is the belt that Heenan and Say
ers fought for twenty-three years ago,
and that Mace subsequently won from
Heenan Another is Of solid silver,
six inches wide, with Mace and other
figures in relief, which he won in 1880
as champion middle weight of Eng
land. One is of solid gold, presented
by Australian friends to the champion
of the world
In 1866 the best railroad time be-
tween New York and New Orleans
was five days, and a passenger had to
make nine changes, many of them
long rides from depot to depot In
1869 the time was reduced to four
days; in 1873 to three and a half days
and 1878 to three days and only one
change. Now the time has been re
duced to fifty-eight hours.
Said an old gentleman, patronizing-
ly, to bright little fellow: 'Be a
good boy, my little man, and you nay
be president" yes, | may be, " the
wide awake youth replied, but you
don't want to gamble on it."
The cost of stopping a train of cars
is said to be from forty to sixty cents.
But it wouldn't do any good to hold
up half dollar to the brakeman on
the rear end of the train you have Just
missed, as it goes out of the depot.
The cars of one of Baltimore street line
have tbis actopisb iuor 1,laoar1 Gn,;-