Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-03-14
Appeased Public Opinion.

A portly, scarlet-faced man, carry
ing a cross between railroad tie and
ten pound cane, tripped airily, fair
ly into the Office last week, and frac-
tured the off legs of chair as he
dropped down.
"Well," said the uneasy scribe,
who, as i'll luck would have it, was OH
the reception committee for that day.
al don't believe you are the man
Pm laying for" said the scartlet-faced
individual, eying him doggedly. "You
amt a fire escape inventor, ! take it"
NO." replied the scribe, 81 am not
an inventive genius. ] may be poor
and seedy, but at the same time I'm
-I'm-I'm hard up"
"But there was patent fire-escape
man around here lately, wasn't there ?
Did some advertising with you, didn't
hep"
"Ye-yes. He had in few local
notices week or so ago, but | think
now he has gone to Duluth"
Don't expect him in this morning,
then ?"
"No, not this morning, and judging
from a couple of small bills | see here
lying here on the desk, | presume |
might with propriety add, nor any
other morning"
Here the scarlet-faced man threw
open his overcoat, spread his fat legs
apart, leaned over and opened out on
the scribe.
"Pm from st. Jo., Michigan. / run
a hotel there. Well, after the Mil
waukee fire where SO many people lost
their lives, everybody in our town
commenced to pick on me about get
ting some fire escapes. All my regu-
lar boarders and the transients begged
me with regular boss tears in their
eyes to get some fire escapes, and the
dining room gals all struck and threat
ened to leave if I didn't do something
about it right away quick. Men
boarders who had owed me board
money for sixty and ninety days just
thronged the Office and said they
would lynch me to the Democratic
flag pole, if l did not provide some
means for 'em to get out in case of a
fire. The hotel amt only two stories
high, with the roof of verandy
runnin' round three sides of it, but
they all said they did't propose to be
fried in any hollyhock, holocaust, or
something of that sort, and to appease
public opinion / told 'em the first
chance l got I'd put in some kind of
a fre-escape if it busted me up in
business. Well, it happened that in
a day or two smooth-faced chap with
voice like castor oil come along and
said he'd got the boss fire escape, a
kind of long rope with wooden pegs
tied in it, and he went up on the roof
and showed everybody how the old
thing worked, and the whole town
turned out in mass, and told me if
| wanted to save my neck now was
the accepted time to put in fire escapes,
and paid the chap five hundred dol
lars for enough to 60 into every room
in the house, up stairs and down, and
Just for the looks of the thing, and to
appease public opinion | put about
twenty of 'em down celler, and threw
some into the we'll in the back yard.
Well, l hope to be rammed, slammed
TANNED and damned if that very
night nineteen of my regular board
ers who owed me about $75 apiece,
and six transients didn't lower their
trunks and grips on to the sidewalk
and skin out. Only caught one fell
low in the whole lot, and that was by
an accident and no fault of his'n."
"How was thatw inquired the ere
ceiving" editor,
"Why, one newspaper man under
took to lower away his pie box, but
there was middling stiff breeze from
off the lake, and his old hair trunk
was so light the wind blew it up on
the roof of the house. Yes, sir. I'm
laying for that fire escape man and
you can bet your sweet life I'll catch
up with him, too. Besides that, I've
got through appeasing public opinion.
I've cut all those fire escapes up into
rope halters. It's all well enough to
try and appease the public. but whose
a going to appease met The next
time the public comes around clam
mering to be appeased I'll sell the
ranch out to 'em, but I'll be cussed if
they're going to run me any longer.
| Va, Lnnr MY fnehln wail H- (,heek