Arizona weekly citizen., 1883-10-06
Ladies Hnmor.

Mrs. Gweudolyu Van Style: And, ! Griffin, always remember tO offer the saiver for the gentlemau's card. Griffin (cleyatiug himself to tiptoe): Ges'm. Ms. C. Van S.: And, under no cir cUmstauces, Griffin, remain waiting iu the draWlngrOom until I come down, as you did yesterday. Griffin Jets him self softly down to his heels again.: But suppose, mem, Gs l takes hIm to be a gent, mem, what'N beEr watchIn', mem.
 'AJo you Co take astronomy next term, EiISs.' inquired a classmate of her young friend. Hardly. But Augustus, Is givlnc ne splendid as- tr1uoIical lessons during the vacation "I-n't that nice! Has he textbooks and an atlas?' 70 Louise. my dear, He says ] am all the world tO him, and when l lean my head on his shoulder be is my Atlas"
 Ulcle Reuben: "Nov. Venus yo' know de argument. Io' cuwu't go Ger dat disreptgble sukkus am hub dat new gown, too. So tek yo' money an hab yo' choice. IVIses de gown Aunt Nenus: Wall, Rube, I guess dis yer ole cOwn'H hey ter draggle a while longer. Now, dst's economy, hsint hit?'
 Miss DsrlingtOng: "Yes. he plays ten his well because he plays 1t all day as a distraction. He IS very unhappy, poor fellow, He was engaged, and he found his income growing less every day, so he broke the engagement" Mir. Horace Temp,ctcu Sniler; "Why, that's the reason ! Uarried?'
 "Yes." said the gilded youth. "I want wife tn make home pleasant" "But. objected hts friend, you'd be huwliug round town nights, an the same" "Yes; but nobody cares, and II would be just a comfort Co feel that somebody vas at home msi about it.
 A rich sensation has just been spoiled in St. Louis. A wealty young lady of that city had fully made up her mind Co run away with and marry her fathers coschmau, when at the last moment she discovered that the coachmsn wouldn't have her.
 'I- there anything wrong in k1ssing2" he asked her, a- they stood together at the garden gate. Certainly there is" she bri-kiy replied; then slowly and softly added, after a pause, eff there's anyone looking
 4 correspondent ut Keuuebunkport writes Us that she went to the ci7culat- ing library and asked il they had tbe Letters of Jane Welsh Carlyle" and received the reply, You will get 'em at the postCficc."
 Uncle Bemus on c0Urtship. "Mau want gal, he ges got ter grab 'er-dst'- wat. Eey may s4uail CD dey may fiut- ter, but tiuttern en squallin' ain't done no damage yit es 1 knows on, on 'tsint gwine ter"
 Nothing lrOnical really meant. "I- thlt gentleman a friend Of yOurs?" asked wly-introduced lady of an other at a reception. 70, no, he's my husband" was the innocent reply.
 Young men, bear in mind that no matter how cold a girl may be, she will never decline ice-cream, And no mat ter how sick she may be, she will never refuse tickets for a matinee. The statement that Anna Dickinson's slipper WAS fund m the hulk of Noah's ark, which has been discovered on Mount Ararat, IS said to be a base fabri- cation.
 A newspaper tells of an Ohio man who was killed by the gas being turned on in his wife's room. He shouldn't have entered into conversation with her at all.
 A woman is always most busily en- gagged packing a trunk when the ex- l pressman calls for 1t.