davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-08

bottle that tempts men and women into
the business of retailing to the Indians.
Inc Chinese are adopts in making this
cheap bu9-juice. Starting with q foun-
datlon OF rice brandy, they concoct ~
beverage that causes the eyes Of the red
man to roll in their sockets and each
halr on his head to stand erect.
Birmingham. Alabama, known as the
Magic City, has had 4 growth not less
remarkable than that of some of the
famous Western towns. In 1873 it was
ragged village of $500 inhabitants.
In that year it was nearly depopulated
by q cholera epidemic An era of rail
road building set in in the state, and
the intersection of two lines there
brought Birmingham population up to
4, 600 in 1880. A census just completed
gives the city in 1888, II, 34S inhabi-
taGts. The assessed value of property
has increased in three years from So
600, 600 to SS,300,00 The growth of
the town is due to the development of
the iron mines in the vicinity
The jerseys with which the market
has been flooded promise to be the
dressmaker,s ruin, says a Philadelphia
dressmaker. ''Our art has hitherto
been directed to the fitting of basque,
or waist, and the arrangement of the
drapery close below the waist. The
jersey does away with all this. ANY wo-
man can buy jersey to fit her. They
are cheap. She can wear it with any
skirt, and the consequence is the dress
makers occupation is temporarily gone.
The market has been flooded with ier-
seys, and as q result, the dressmakers
have had the dullest season ever known.
just imagine an elastic, warm, close
fitting garment of the same sort for men
doing away with shirt, vest and coat and
with all who make them, and you have
the thing at q glance"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-08
a Fox-Hunt.

Mr.. Mulkittrick, of the Queens Coun-
ty Hunt, was presented with splendid
hound and he determined to try it. He
purchased a fox and let it loose in the
woods. Then he mounted his horse,
''unleashed'' the hound, and started in
pursuit. The chase was a long one, and
it led him over the fields and far away.
He ruined field after field of cabbages,
potatoes and other garden stufs, doub-
led three or four times, and finally came
up in farm-yard.
He saw the dog rush through, but
could see no fox. Finally the fox darted
into sight in close pursuit of the dog,
and domestic cat was chasing both.
The dog rushed under the farmers
stoop, with the fox good second and
the cat third.
just then the farmer came out with a
gun and blazed away under the stoop.
The three animals made a break and
dashed into the hennery.
When the farmer and Mr. Mulkittrick
arrived, the dog, cat, and fox were en-
gagged in tussle for the possession of
sturdy old rooster. Mr.. Mulkittrick
blazed away and shot three chickens
that were on the other side of the barn.
Then the farmer pulled and shot the
hound. Then the fox pulled and car
ried off the chickens and the cat. The
farmer was about to give the other bar
rel to Mr.. Mulkittrick, but he consented
to swap off the horse for the absent but
not forgotten fowl, and he threw in the
dog to boot. As the dog was too dead
to boot the farmer booted Mr.. Mulkit-
trick, and all hands went away satisfied.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-08
Burns Father Takes him to Task.

Il. II. Relates in the Century, in her
account of "a Burns Pilgrimage, an
interview had with the poets nieces,
including the following "reminiscences:
''Burn's mother, too, their grandmoth-
er, they recollected well, and had often
heard her tell of the time when the fam
lily lived at Lochlea, and Robert, spend
ing his evenings at the Tarbolton mer-
ry making with the Bachelors Club or
the Masons, used to come home late in
the night, and she used to sit up to let
him in. These doings sorely displeased
the father, and at last he said grimly,
one night, that he would sit up to open
the door for Robert. Trembling with
fear, the mother went to bed and did
not close her eyes, listening apprehen-
slVeIy for the angry meeting between
father and son. She heard the door
open, the old mans stern tone, Roberts
gay reply, and in twinkling more the
two were sitting together over the fire,
the father splitting his sides with half
unwilling laughter at the boys inimita-
BILE descriptions and mimicry of the
scenes he had left. Nearly two hours
they sat there in this way, the mother
all the while examining the bed-clothes
into her mouth, lest her own laughter
should remind her husband how poorly
he was carrying out his threats. After
that night Bob came home at what
hour he pleased. and there was nothing
more heard of his father sitting up to
reprove him.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-08
Photography Of Love,

A Madrid photographer has, accord
ing to the Archie, had strange sitter
to deal with lately. A young lady came
to his studio to have her portrait taken
Having placed her in position, he turned
to arrange his camera, when, casting
last glance at the posing belle before
removing the cap from the lens, he was
Mortified to see that she was holding
the muzzle of q revolver to her temple.
''Stop! stop"' he cried; ''you surely do
not mean to kill yourself! You would
ruin my business! and, besides, it would
be pity to spoil that pretty FACET
The lady laughingly replied: ':It gives
me no pleasure to spoil one of your most
beautiful productions, but will tell you
what [ mean. My betrothed has desert
ed me, and / intend to send him copy
of my photograph in this position, with
the remark that if he does not return
Immediately shall pull the trigger
This astonishing intention was duly
carried out, and q few weeks later the
photographer had the pleasure of taking
the newly married couple without the
revolver, which apparently had done
its work harmlessly.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-08
How to fry Fish.

The theory which l have suggested is
that the melted fat cooks by convection
of heat, just as water does in the So
called boiling of meat If that is cor
rect, it is evident that the fish, ETC.,
should be completely immersed in a
bath of melted fat or oil, and that the
turning over demanded by the creased
plate theory is unnecessary. Well-edu-
Gated cooks understand this distinctly,
and use deeper vessel than COM
mon frying-pan, charge this with q
quantity of fat sufficient to cover the
fish, which is simply laid upon a wire
support, or frying-basket, and left in
the hot fat until the browning of its
surface, or of the -four or bread-crumb s
with which it is coated indicates the
sufficiency of the cookery.
At first sight this appears extrava-
giant, as compared with the practice of
greasing the bottom of the pan with q
little dab Of fat; but any house who will
apply to the frying of sprats, herrings,
ETC., the method of quantitative Undue
tive research. described and advocated
by Lord Bacon in his 'sNovum Organ
UNI Scientarum, may prove the con-
trary.
.'Must [ read the 'Novum Organum, ;
and buy another dictionary, in order to
translate all this?" she may exclaim in
despair. mol" is my reply. This
Baconian inductive method, to which
we are indebted for all the triumphs of
modern science, is nothing more nor
less than the systematic and orderly
application of common sense and def
mite measurement to practical questions.
In this case it may be applied simply
by frying weighed quantity of any
particular kind of fish-say sprats in q
weighed quantity of fat used as a bath;
then weighing the fat that remained
and subtracting the latter weight from
the first, to determine the quantity con-
sumed. If the frying be properly per-
formed, and this quantity compared
with that which is consumed by the
method of merely greasing the pan bot
tom, the bath frying will be proved to
be more economical as well as the more
efficient method. "CbemiStry OF
Cookery" by w. MATTIEU WILLIAMS,
IN Popular S cientifc Monthly for Oct0-
6e7
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-08
He Winked,

During the last break in oil. woman
who had ridden for four or five blocks
in q street car with a lone gentleman
suddenly turned upon him with:
You do that again and I'll appeal to
the driver ~
''W-what?'' he gasped.
''Oh you villain, you know whatr'
MADAM, upon my word 1 don't I'M
derstandn'
''Sir! you winked at me three differ
ent timesr'
Il did! great Scots! Madam, but I
wasn't aware of it! / am the holder of
%, 900 barrels of oil, and am being
squeezed so hard that I am scarcely in
my right mindi Wink at you! Why,
woman, if oil should even advance %
cents per gallon, / wouldn't dare wink
at hotel waiter! Squeezed out Of
$4,000 in one hour, and then charged
with having a corner on the winking
business! Madam, l.
But she rang the bell and left him
alone. Wall Street NeaOS.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-08

why waste our wish on sucn trities?
The horse and COW we'll get anyway. "
Sure enough, in 4 years time the
money for the horse and COW had been
earned. Jovfullv the man rubbed his
hands. The wish is saved again this
year, and vet we have what we desire.
How lucky we aren'
But row his wife seriously adjured
him to wish for something at last.
Now that YOU have 4 wish to be grant
ed, !" she said, you slave and toll, and
are content with everything. You
might be king, emperor, baron, even a
gentleman farmer, with chests overflow
ing with gold; butyou don't know what
YOU want.
I'VE are young and life is long" he
answered. ''Ihere Is only one wish in
the ring. and that is easily said. Who
knows but sometime we NAV sorelv
need this wish? Are we in want of any
thing? Have we not prospered, to all
peoples establishment, since we posses
sed this ring? Be reasonable and pat
lent for awhile. In the meantime, con-
slider what we really ought to wish
for
AIIN IIIdG WIS Tic GuOl Ol GuC DldGU6I.
1t really seemed as if the ring had
brought . blessing into the house.
Granaries and barns were full to over
flowing. and in the course of u few years
the poor farmer became Il rich and
pOrtly person, who worked with his men
afeid during the day, as if he, 100, had
to earn his daily bread; but after supper
he liked to sit in his porch, contented
and comfortable, and return the kindly
greeting Of the folk who passed and
who wished him a respectful good-even-
ING.
So the years went by. Sometimes
when they were alone, the farmers
wife would remind her husband of the
magic ring, and suggest many plans.
But as be always answered that they
had plenty of time, and that the best
thoughts come last. she more and more
rarely mentioned the ring, and at last
the good woman ceased speaking of it
altogether.
NC sure, the farmer looked at the
ring, and tWirled it about as many as
twenty times day; but he was very
careful never to wish.
After thirty or forty years had pas
sed away, and the farmer and his wife
had grown old and white haired, and
their wish was still unasked, then was
God very good to them, and on the
same night they died peacefully and
happily.
Weeping children and grandchildren
surrounded the two collins; and as one
wished to remove the ring from the still
hand as q remembrance, the Oldest son
said: Let our father take his ring into
the grave. There was always amystery
about it; perhaps it was some dear re-
membrance. Our mother, too, SO often
looked at the ring-she may have given
it to him when they were young.
So the old farmer was buried with the
ring, which had been supposed to be a
wish-ring, and was not; yet it brought
as much good fortune into the house as
heart could desire '-An1aG Eichberg, IN
st. Nicholas for October.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-08
Uncle Gabe on the Old and New,

Things is gwine in sich mighty gallop nova
DAYS
Dat lis hard to keep de step wild all de hifalu
tin ways.
Why, de VIII is gwine too rapid, an eff people
don't hold back
Oars gwine to be some Dustin up an runnin
OFF de track.
As push along &c Placement TO de eberiastin'
shO.
De things don't look as luby as dey use to,
long
You Kin motifs how de morkin'- bird, dat start
out in dc spring,
Don't empty out his music wild de same old
HANDY swing;
De stars don't blink so pretty an &c sky ain t
quite so blue,
An it sort o. pears de moon itse'f done swunlz
q inch or two.
Well. folks was younger in dem days-Ieas'-
ways was so wild me
An desc times amt jes patchin' to de times
dat use to be!
When my strenk begin to fail me an my step
Tub to stop an study bout de folks / use to
know:
ken see EN- right befo' me- in fOggy sort O.
mis-
Dat settles cross de cabin fun my pipe O
''nigger twis',
An dey's sort o. smilin' at me, as | see 'em
Dem good old friends o. long ago OATS sleepin'
in de ground.
De old times suit me heap &c bes', but, den,
Dat dar's heap o nice contraptions dat dey.s
fiXin' up to-day;
An lots O. handy doin's whatJ nebber seed be-
To-
Dat would p'intly be surprisfn' to de folks
use TO know.
So, faint no use O. fixin' plans for turnin'
back de tide,
An I'll sot myself right on de bank an watch
an let her slide.
When de Lobby bus wide open an de waters
gin to po',
Why, faint no use O. bristlin' up to fight de
obcrflOw!
). A. Macon. in The Manhattan for October.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-08
American Society Growing Less Provincial.

During the last quarter of century,
society here has been growing less pro
vincial, and in New York it is beginning
to have a cosmopolitan character. 1t is
true there is much vulgarity to be found
among its members, and it lacks the
ease and courtesy, the ''seemly and
gracious presence, " which belong to the
old and aristocratic societies of Europe.
But it has about its surroundings what
the old society lacked-real elegance
and taste, art and the best material
fruits of civilization. .Sew social ele-
ments from many nationalities have
been introduced, and it is in the way OF
progress and amelioration. Doubtless
it is still only a society in its earliest
stages of development, but it is not SO
provincial as the old. 1t has more
claims to be called really cultivated
society. Yet it is not an aristocracy.-
NeW York San.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-08
The Tenor's Belief.

Once upon time a tenor went to the
genial and gentle critic Darthnay and
said, Indignantly: ''Oh, come, now, I
say, what make you so hard on a fell
Iow?" $50 hard on you?" gasped the
stupefed critic. Yes" retorted the
singer. Here you write, Very few
tenors have ever equaled him, not even
Nourit or Duprez. Damme. sir, new
er was equaled by anYbodYIn
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-08

Jenny Lind still wears her hair the
way she used to do, her eyes are as blue
as ever, and she has the old trick of rest
ing her clasped hands on her knees; no
likeness has ever given any idea of the
seraphic sweetness and elevation of her
countenance. She is a great favorite
with the English royal family, and the
Princess Helena passes much time with
her.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-08

viii there be hop tonight" ask
ed summer sojourner of another who
had loved the stock market mot wisely
but too we1l,n Don't know about the
hop, but there will be skip if | can get
my trunk out" was the reply.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-11-08

The statement is made by well in
formed religious paper that in London
thirteen times as much money is spent
for tobacco as is given by all the
churches of that. city put together for
foreign missions.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-24
Father and Mother Hubbard

IL otAO4 SsAtt @AOCASA IL u ~ ONtx tt
The other day, when old Major
Solman announced his readiness to
proceed in the direction Of church,
his wife appeared, wearing a
Mother Hubbard" dress. The old
man intently regarded her for few
moments and asked, "Mary. what
sort of a coat do you call that ~
It's a Mother Hubbard, Jeems.
"Air you going to wear il to
church ?"-"Why, certainly, Jeems.
The Mother Hubbard is all the
fashion noW."-"Well, I'm glad to
know it," the old man replied; "just
wait until / get ready, and we'll go"
The old man went out into the
kitchen, took couple of meal sacks,
cut the bottoms out, and sewed the
tops together, and put them on in
imitation Of pantalooms. When he
returned bis wife uttered a
loud cry of establishment, and
exclaimed, "Great goodness,
Jeems, what's that?" "Father Hub.
bard" the old man replied.-"You're
not a-goin' to wear them sacks, are
you? "-"I've got to be fashionable
| to keep up with you; I've go: as
much right to wear these meal bags
| as you have to go in that bran
sack."-"I'll take it Off."-"All
right; off goes Father Hubbard,
and turning away he added to him.
self, "Only one way to beat 9
woman, and that is by agreein with
her. Eff it hadn't been for thu
Daddy Hubbard I'd been in
mighty bad fix"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-24
How to Tell Good Eggs.

A good egg will sink in water.
A boiled egg which is done will
dry quickly on the shell when taken
from the kettle.
The boiled eggs which adhere to
the shell are fresh laid.
After an egg has been laid day
or more, the shell comes off easily
when boiled.
A fresh egg has a lime-like sur
face to its shell.
Stale eggs are CLASSY and smooth
of shell,
Eggs which have been packed in
lime look stained, and show the &C
ton of the lime on the surface.
Eggs packed in bran for long
time smell and taste musty.
With the aid of the hands, a piece.
of paper rolled in funnel shape and
held toward the tight, the human
eye can look through an egg, she'll
and all.
If an egg is clear and golden in
appearance when held to the light.
it is good; if dark and spotted, it is
bad.
The badness of an egg may some
times be told by shaking it near the
holders ear, but the test is dan
ger0us one.
Thin shells are caused by lack of
gravel, etc., among the laying heas.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-24
Tilden and Arthur.

Arthur is a candidate whose
chances seem to be improving all
the time.-Peoria, ILL.,, Transcript 3.
And now more than ever the re.
suits of Tuesday mean Samuel j.
Tilden at the helm.-Quincy, Ill.,,
Herald.
Is Tilden using John Kelly 8
strong jaws to crunch Grover Cleve-
land? It looks like it.-Boston
Herald.
Arthur and Ochiltree is a presi-
Dental ticket that would take sec
Ond mOney.-FOrth Worth, Texas,
Gazette.
Grandfather Blaine. Does that
make him too old for a presidential
candidate? Tilden is not a grand>
father Detroit Free Press.
If Mr.. Arthur should be nomin-
ated for the presidency next year
the Republican ticket would be
overwhelmingly defeated Cleve>
land Herald.
If President Arthur is sensible
man he will prefer a second term
in the wilderness, and longer one,
to leading a forlorn hope toward
second term in the White House.
Boston Herald.
The most important result of the
New York election is to strengthen
G. A. Arthur as the next Republican
for President. If New
York declares for Arthur in the
next Republican national conven-
ion he will probably be the candi-
late of his party, and there is good
'eason to believe that New York
will so declare. - Philadelphia
Record.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-24

Harvard college is to have statue
of its founder, John Harvard, but
the artist is tree because moth
ing is known about him except that
he was educated at Cambridge Uni
v.rsity and died Of consumption at
q. His parentage, birthplace, time.
of ordination, even the vessel he
came to America in, are the darkest
of mysteries; his will deciding $3.50
to found a college has been lost, and
the books he left it were burned ia
1I64
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-24

A gentleman travelling in Mexico
sent one of the small native DON
keys called burros to a friend at
home. The clerk thought "burrO"
was an unsuccessful attempt to spell
bureau, and when his way-bills
were all in reported to headquarters
"One bureau missing and one jack
ass over"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-24

"EERE ware, now; two packages
for 10c.r' yelled seedy looking en-
velope peddler in Grand street.
Here y'are, this way; two pack
ages for Sci" howled another en-
velope peddler, almost crowding his
fellow merchant OH the sidewalk.
Women out shopping noted the
difference in prices, and soon bought
out the two.for-fve-cents man.
Then both peddlers drifted around
the corner, and the one who had
sold no envelopes divided his stock
with the other, remarking with a
chuckle.
ut works boss, psrd, don't tip
New York Sun.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-24
Besides being Sure Cure for !
MAI ARIA And DYSPEPSIA

~HACKNETACK," lasting and
FRAGRANT perfume. Price 2oc: ana
5oc Sold By z. G. Nj ETug ssere
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1883-08-20

attracted considerable audiences, and
marked desire has beea manifested to
improve Irish lace york by providing
lace makers with new patterns and
giving them opportunities Of
consulting specimens of fine
old lace. Whatever difficult
ties might attend the introduction of
new patterns into the ordinary cham
nels Of trade, it appears to be evident
that much could be dene at the
numerous converts, where nuns give
regular instruction in lace making to
the school children placed under their
care. The demand for Irish laces is
growing in extent every day, espsci-
ely for the Cork crochet work. The
patterns worked ia crochet, however,
are of rude and poor character, and
it is feared that unless the style Of
them can ba bettered a prosperous
condition Of the manufacture and
trade may not be maintained. It is
quite evident that while the workman.
ship of the Irish laoes is good, the de-
signs or patterns are Indifferent.