South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1883-04-27
wI-r AND sEUrroR.

Get to me- she replied, In get 20
beard True, he replied, galiantly,
but you can use mine as often as you
want to- They were married few
months later.
II is very good lemonade, I'm sure,
but tell me, Bonnie, why do you sell
yours for three cents glass, when
Charley gets Ave for HEP Miss Bon
ME well, you mustn't tell anybody.
Uncle Jack. but the puppy fell in mine
and thought it ought i, TO be cheaper.
TIE story OF mankind in all ages is
told Up this little apborism, attributed
to Georgia darkey: a man dat kin
make libin' playin, dc fild!e aint APP
TO poster &c hoe handle
There Is young lady in Keokpk,
Iowa, woo 10 six feet four inches tall.
and she is engaged to be married. Tie
man WHO won her did it, it is assumed,
in taesc words: THY beauty sets my
soul agIow; ID wed thee right or wrong /;
man wants but little here below, but
wants that little-long.'
AMERICAN FAHLEs.-One day two
Foxes who were journeyirg together
came across Track in the dust which
much astonished them.
Il believe it is the Track OF Rhiuo.
ccros.' observed one.
Il think it is that Of an Elephant, re,
piled the other.
i say Rhnoceros
And ! say Elaphanl!'
'Then ! travel no longer with such an
Idiotl'
Then you can travel alone with u
Fooll
ILcy were cuGinS each othe, about
IN lively manner, wien along came .
Wolfand asked the cause of the trouolc.
Why, that Bigot sticks to i. that this
is cot the track of Rhinocoros shout.
cd one.
Aud lie, tho Narrow minded Mul-
doom, won't admit chat it is tho Track
OF an Elephant, added the other.
Gentlemen, said the Wolf as he ex
AHMED the spot, this is simply the place
where fat man struck Banana Pee
and sat down TO Reflect. You are boil
wong and both Fools
How TO WoRD AN ADVERTISEMENT
A man was denounciug newspaper
advertising to a crowd Of listeners.
'Last week. said he, Il Lad on u,n
brellt stolen from Tue vestjbue Of the
Church. II was gilt, and yaulting IL
very highly, spent double the worth in
advertising, but / have not recovered 1t.
How did you word tie advertise.
mcht?' asked merchant.
Here it is said tue man, producing
slip cut from . newspaper.
The merchant took it and road LOS,
from Tic yestibule Of - Church last
Sunday evening, black sill; umbrella
The gentleman who took it will bo hand.
somely rewarded by leaving i. At No
High street.
Now said The merchant. am = lib
eyai advertiser, and have always fgurt
it paid me we'll a great deal depend.
on the manner in which an advertise.
mcnt is put, Let US try for your um.
brela again, and if you DO not ther
acknowledge that advertising pays ! vii
purchase you now one:
Tie merchant took a slip OF paper
from lis pocket and wrote:
IL the man who was seen 20 take lhC
umbrella from the vcslibule OF the
Church last Sunday does not wish TO get
inio trouble and have a stain cast upor
The Christian character which be val
uos 80 highly, lie will return il al one,
TO No.--lIigh street. he is wei
known.
This duly appeared in Tho paper, ant
the following morning the man was as
topi5hel when he opened Che front loor
OF his residence. On TIC porch la, ri
least q dozen umbrellas Of III shade,
and sizas Chat had boon thrown ln
willie tie i'on'yarJ vaa literally n.v,c
with umbrellas. Many OF them la.
notes attached 20 them saying TIA. The,
had been taken Nv mistake. and be-
sing 'bo loser TO keep the u.uo Attain
quiet h'pimor. Telegram.
For salc-a arst-ola.s piano the
property Of lady abou, TO travel a.,.
q rosewood case ani carved legs.
a poslmls,cr asking tbc cause OF
a'sasreeobic smell, the rscoGoug Office
boy replied, Perhaps g, comes from IN.
deadicuars,
GJE%-EE25 LUNG HEALER.
sE...t- 4sa so,H. f..- ~
@) CONSUMPTION
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