National Republican., 1883-05-23

MILE. AIMEE is to return here in the fall.
Her many friends will doubtless be glad TO meet
her again, but what does the old lady expect 10 do
In this country 2-Poa- Express.
The New York Commercial Advertiser calls
for "a great public reform and relief Now that the
duty on castor oil is reduced IL says, some steps
should be taken to romove the flavor.
"CAN policeman enter side door," asks
Now York paper. II the door isn't locked we don't
see why he can't but he probably prefers TO 20
over the back fence.-Deroa Free Pres.
The Louisville Courier-Journal rises Co the
defense of Tafy, the wolshman and asserts that
he was for many years in the newspaper business,
and that he did not steal piece Object
JOHN (who is an autiquary) Eliza, nv
dear, bought q beautiful match for our old claw.
foot table at auction to-day. Eliza (who is anti.
antiquarian)-Why, John, you old fool sent Il
up to the auction this morning to get out Of tho
houso.-LVc
DEFALcATIoNsa are different In Rio. There
a public Officer short in his accounts explained
the deficit by declaring the ants had got into the
box and destroyed the money. society for the
importation of South American ants should be
started at once
JOHN sPLAN says Maud s, says the Omaha
Republican I" will trot in 2:08 this season. The
horse OF the future will get there before It Starts.
Maude and John Splan VIM have beaten that by
the end Of the season If they have 20s for re-
cord. see2-2:Os-to wait See?
In London, says society critic, the "best'
people are the worst dancers Further still, good
dancing Is actually condemned as "bad form"
The American practice of reversing In the waltz
was crushed because oh, the best people don't
reverse" Such dre the frivolties of society In
London.
LONG timo ago celebated preacher de-
livered discourse on tho text, He glveth his
beloveth sleep" Observing that large number
OF his hearers were nodding their heads he sud.
denly stopped and said, Brethren, it is hard to
realize the unbounded love which the Lord ap-
pears to have for large portion of this congrega-
tion."
The other day, on an Arkansas railway, an
old gentleman sat half asleep with a book entitled
1.-THE Train Robbers" lying on his lap. Pretty
soon he sank to Sleep The window sash fell with
a loud report. and the old man, springing to his
feet, and throwing up both his hands, exclaimed:
Gentlemen, haven't got q cent."-Arkdnsaw
1rapeier.
AT Virginia City, New, they have parrot
which talks Pute The bird picked up the Ian.
guage from the Pluto squaws, who never tire Of
jabberlng to Polly. Wild indians who 60 to town
are thunderstruck at hearing bird sing out to
them in their native tongue. Some of them arei
clined to look upon tho big green fowl Us being
the devil in disguise.
The Philadelphia Neps has discovered
way to break up the encore nuisance. Just as
the people who want ivo times the worth OF their
money are applauding the loudest an usher runs
in from the front and yells, "a crazy man on the
street is giving peanuts and sausages away" Tho
encore folks instantly rush for the door and the
performance goes on.
A LAW student at Lafayette, Ind, was sur
prised in the midst of an impassioned address be-
fore sawhorse and twelve sticks OF cord wood
set on end. The singular prescience and pro-
phetic genius of this young man was unappre-
ciated in his native burg. He was laughed to
scorn and forced to fee the town. But time will
give his revenge. II may even come to pass that
some Of those who have jeered will fulfill the
youths prophecy, and serve on jury befoie
which he shall speak.
New ORLEANS PiCayune: Some noses are
made red by tight lacing. Others become red by
many tights. Mothers are mainly responsible for
dudes Very few fathers wish to see sons growing
up in dleness. A fond mother with money is apt
TO imagine her dear boy is not we'll when he is only
lazy. The man who sees nothing but the news
paper he Is reading when lady wants his seat in
a car Is man who would be 80 busy with his
prayer book as tc blk the contribution box when
1t passes by in church.
MISS ABIGAIL r. HENDERSON, of Philadel-
phia, wears gray, baggy trowsers, n dark dress
coat, and high silk hat As she walked by the
Continental hotel two men held converse between
themselves Said one, speaking unto the other,
sit walks the brlckbats like thing of life," and
answered the other unto the one "You bet your
life II does" And Miss Henderson hastened to
the police headquarters and preferred n request
hiatt ha iNyai ha Ru ia
tendent was an unprogressve brute.
THERE is painful scandal at Newport, in
which oliver Hazard Perry Belmont a son OF
August Belmont Is involved. In December last
he was married in swell style to a Miss Whiting,
of Newport, and the newspapers heralded the
wedding as one of the grandest affairs that had
ever taken place. The couple started for Europe
on their bridal tour and went TO Paris, where
the bridegroom Is said to have acted so badly
that the bride was compelled to return across the
ocean alone to her parents, and will now sue for
a divorce A French ballet girl is said to be the
cause of the trouble
EMMA NEVADA YOUNG, an American prima
donna, who has been trying for long time 10
make her debut in Paris has succeeded In her de-
sires at last, and on Thursday night appeared at
the Opera Comique with great success. She ia
regarded as almost as much of marvel as Mile
been delighting the Parisians for long time.
With such singers as Miss Kellogg Minnie Hauk,
Nine, Vallora, Miss Thursby, Mad. Durand, Mis-
Van Zandt and Miss Young, most of whom have
European regulations, It can longer be said that
America has no lyric artists.
The little town of Accord. in Ulster county,
N. Y, is entitled to the marmalade. 1t has In.
vented the excelsior story, aflording a discount
to the little fable about King Arthur and his IA
nous blade Excalibar. A few days since fiery
meteor was seen to fall sizzling into Rondout
creek, sending up stream OF boiling water. The
people were much amazed. The creek was exam.
ined and massive sword was discovered, its
blade pointing upward and its hilt imbedded In
the mud II was six feet long and double. edged,
with handle that requires a hand about three
times the ordinary size. The workmanship IA
mysterious, ,and the blade is covered with re.
mHrkabe hieroglyphics, Accord will not be ac.
corded the reputation that erstwhile attached 10
the lamented Washington.
A GREASY looking package, six inches long
by four wide, attracted the attention of the post
Office ofiicials. says the Alta California. IL had
come all the way from village in old Virginia,
and was addressed 10 party in southern Cali.
fornia. suspeotng something wrong, the bx
was opened when 1t was found to contain an
old fashioned corn dodger, together with letter
from young lady, who, In addition 10 a great
many other sweet sentiments wished she could
send the object Of her affections whole bakery
full OF corn cakes made with her own hands
The "ohIect' had evidently been exercising a