davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-03
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A man, lately married, was asked
at the club about his bride. as she
prettyp" NO replied he--''she is
not, but she will be when her father
dies
-Inasmuch as the course of true love
never did run smooth, wouldn't it be
pious idea for Congress 10 make an APP
preparation for the stream of love?-
Grip.
The tramp who tried to steal
through passage to New York remarked,
when he picked himself from the snow
bank into which the muscular brakeman
had deposited him, that he didn't care
to be threw passenger again. Boston
Transcript.
Some men are ever ready to offer a
remedy for everything This Other day
we remarked TO one of these animated
apothecary shops: "An idea struck us
yesterday'-a before we could finish
he advised us: Grub the affected parts
with arnica -Hart,oeU tea. Sun.
The average age of different men is
put down thus: Merchants, fifty-five;
physicians and lawyers, fifty -eight; farm,
ers, sixty-one; clergymen, sixty-four,
be observed from the above that the
journalistic profession tends to longevity.
Rochester Post Express.
Poem on Bells
The cry is heard on every hand
To stop the church bells ringing;
But 1t would be quite as unwise
As If they'd stop the singing.
Say what you want about the noise
This fact is worth repeating:
1t is the bellies, and nothing less
That call young men to meeting.
A company of gentlemen, who wsre
dining at an inn, inquired if the turkey
that was served to them was fresh
"Fresh is itr' said the Irish waiter,
iauntily. Faith, it's not six hours
since that turkey was walking around
ON his own rale estate, with his hands in
his pockets, never draining what an
urgent invitation he'd have to jine you
gentlemen at dinner
Extract from a modern novel: "She
had thrown her heart at his feet, only
to be rejected. What greater punish.
ment can any woman have to hearp''
Well, he might have picked up her heart,
carried it home and given it to his dog.
Or he might have put his foot upon it
and gr-r-r-round it into the dust. Or,
worse still, he might have lifted it up
tenderly, placed it in his coat-tail pock-
ct, married her the next day and made
her work in shirt factory while be
fooled away his time and money in
pool room. That would have been some
thing like punishment Judge.
He was depositor in Rochester
savings bank, He entered the. institu-
ton the other morning and timidly in.
quired 'Is the Cashier in the city ~" 90,
yes, he's at his window" "And is the
Treasurer aroundp' He is" "And
the Presidentp'' 1.-The President IS
in his Office Has the bank
been specializing in Oil, wheat, cot
ton or minestH mo, sir" ..Ans
if | were to present my book could
l draw the four dollars I have on
depositP' "You could" .'Well, THAI
takes a great burden off my mind,~
sighed the stranger, as he walked out
with greatly improved looks. = oeAesttp
IN ~ Democrat.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-03
Hew the French Canadian is Dressed.

The New York SENS Montreal CORES
pondent relates this: 81 must tell you
how these girls Dress" said New York
woman to her husband. First, they start
with flannel from head to foot-and such
flannel. Why, it's an eighth of an inch
thick. Then they go like other women,
except that they put on more skirts, and
usually quilted one that's as warm as a
wood fire. Then they put on dress,
and over that channels jacket that fits
like shoe in the mud. Then they put
ribbed wooden stockings over their stock
ings and arctics over their shoes. They
don'tcare any more about the looks of
their feet than the st. Louis women do
Then they put on knit wristlets, then
gloves, then fur or cloth dolman, then
fur cap, and finally coil of worsted
comforters. When they are dressed, if
they are hurled at speed of mile a
minute from toboggan, they are
unhurt. If they fall through the ice thoy
are not wet. If the thermometer drops
fifteen below they read of it next day
and wish they had known it at the time.'
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-03
VOLUME XIV.
courage.

AN EPfGRAM
soldiers twain stood facing danger
SIDE by side. alone and still;
bold was one, TO fear a stranger.
laght of thought and stout of will
But the other, grave and serious
Deeply Pondered where be stood
felt the spell of the mysterious
overshadowing neighborhood--
VI the mortal menace hidden
. In that moment S sudden chance;
Hi the throug of thoughts unb.d len
frausied with his ceuntenance
1nen his comrade marked his pallor,
And rallying charge he made,
Out OF bis lght-hearted valor,
Lightly spoken: You re afraidr
True my friend" with blanched lips said he
have fear as you have none;
but stand here, staunch and steady-
You, with half any fear would rum
WIN. Z. HNhinson, d, d., az s. s. Times
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-03
Seventh Sons.

1t is reported that spike maker at
Troy, who is the seventh son of seventh
son, is SO steadily in demand by sick PEG
pie, who believe that he is born healer
of diseases, that he has been obliged to
abandon the nail factory and devote him
self to his patients, and that baseball
player, who is also seventh son of a
seventh son, is going to start on heal
ing expedition. How the accident OF
being born seventh in line of sons can
enable a man to scatter health broadcast
is something that professors in medical
colleges have never yet explained, but
should the system prove satisfactory in
practice no explanation will be neces-
sary. To be healed merely by talking
with man who had half dozen broth
ers born before him is much easier than
going through course of physic and
being Inject to the blunders of careless
prescription clerks. If some seventh son
will do some trhing thing, like extir-
pating a cancer or restoring defective
eye, just to show his genuineness, he will
fluid business enough to make him eter-
nally bless his birthday.-M Y, Herald.
America, Miss Emily Faithful says,
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-03

Massachusetts, takes away forty-five
acres from Rhode Island by the adoption
of the new boundary line.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-03

America, Miss Emily Faithful says,
is far ahead of the old world in extend
ing the field of work and education fos
women.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12
Rough ON the Bishop.

A well-known Bishop, eminent in his
position and in personal dignity, dur
inc the exercise of his official duties
was once quartered upon the wealth
lest resident of certain village, whose
wife chanced to be away from home.
The Bishop, with grim humor, frequent
" complains at being put into the spare
room, which is opened especially for
him and the encouragement of rheuma-
tism. He is withal a slim man, and on
this occasion, when his host inquired
how he had slept and hoped he had
passed an agreeable night, he answered
with some vehemence, ''No, | did not;
| passed very disagreeable night
indeed!' The Bishop departed, and
when the wife of his host returned she
naturally inquired who had been in the
house in her absence. Bishop P,
said the husband. Bishop p ex-
claimed the good woman. ''And where
did you put him to sleep?" In the
spare bed, Of course" In the spare
bed.n shrieked the Mortified matron.
'.Why, put all the silverware under
the mattress before ! went away"'-
N. Y Tribune.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12
CONDENSED TELEGRAMS.

In the star-route case at Washington
on the Sth Bliss closed his seven days adj
dress to the jury, and this was announced
as the close of the Governments opening.
The Court ruled that the Government would
only be allowed one address in closing and,
as a consequence, Attorney-General Brew
ster would not take part in the argument.
THE report came from San Antonio,
Tex, on the Sth that the lately reported
robbery of United States Paymaster Wasson
on a Texas Pacific train turned out to be a
$24 900 defalcation instead.
AT Oxford, Miss, S. M. Thompson,
editor of the Eagle, was shot dead on the
Sth while resisting arrest by the City Mar
shall.
In a terrific affray at Cornishville,
Mercer County KY, the other day Daniel
travelling salesman, and was himself NOR
tally wounded.
QUEEN VICTORIA has returned to
Windsor Castle.
THE assignees of Newberg, Frenkel
& Co.. clothing dealers, Cincinnati, o., have
filed an inventory showing the total ap-
praised value of assets to be $275, 900; liza
bilities $685., 900.
LORD CARLINGFORD has again re-
fused to urge additional legislation against
the importion of foreign cattle into Eng
land, but he says strict inspection will be
enforced to keep out infection.
The death sentence passed on Della
ny, who pleaded guilty at Dublin, Ireland,
recently to the charge of completely in the
Phoenix Park murders, has been commuted
by the Lord Lieutenant.
REAL-ADMIRAL E. r. CALHOUN has
been placed on the retired list of the Navy,
after serving forty-three years, sixteen
years being sea service.
THE Governor of Limerick Greland)
jail has been retired from office, it is alleged
on account of harsh treatment of suspects.
The Spanish municipal elections it is
said were marked by fragrant interfer-
ence at the polls to force the return of
Government partisans.
In the German Reichstag, on the 9Th
inst, ,Windhorst, the ultramontaine leader,
declared the permanent existence of re-
public in Europe impossible.
GALVESTON, Tex, is now said to be
the second cotton port in the country, the
receipts this season reaching $4,000 bales.
THREE men were killed and one Sc
verely injured while defending the Casta
Ranch, in Sonora, N. NJ, from a recent at
tack by Indians.
IT was reported on the 9th that the
business part of the town of Forney, in
Kaufman County, Tex, was almost entire
ly destroyed by an incendiary fire, the loss
being estimated at $500
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12
NUMBER 26.
PITH AND POINT.

-"Board wanted"-as the Young
lady said when she came to mud-pud-
die in the sidewalk
There is no power on earth that
can make a good citizen of man who
does not work.-Ne10 Orleans Pbsloso-
pher.
Il believe" said one man, speak
ing of another, H'that he would do any,
thing-eFen eat succotash in a strange
hotel =
There appears to be no reason why
the English should not now take kindly
to that famous American ballad: John
browns body hes moldering in the
grave. ."-B0stOR Post.
-Aristocratic ma, chatting with aris-
tocratic visitor, is interrupted by two
little daughters running in: "Oh, ma!
MAJ we've just seen Uncle jim! He
upon wagon, hollerin' barl's!''
"A Piute Princess has just married
her twentieth husband. A few enter
prising Piute princesses would soon ex-
terminate the male portion Of the tribe,
and save our Government considerable
money.-NorriStOaon Herald.
A Western paper has an elaborate
article on ''Some Causes of a Monetary
Stringency." If there are any new
causes we don't want to hear anything
about them. The old causes are about
all we care to wrestle with.-N Y.
Graphic. .......
A gentleman who has been think
ing of buying hack, having visited
menagerie, comes home radiant with
JOY. I'm going to buy one of them ze-
bras" he says: lone of those ritled
horses. They must carry much further
than the ordinary sortp'
A man has invented chair that
can be adjusted to 800 different posi-
tions, and yet a man who suspected
his wife was going to ask him where he
was the night before couldn't get into a
position in that chair which seemed
comfortable. boston Transcript.
"A 'longshoreman entered a coffee
and cake saloon in Barclay street on
Friday, and, after eating a plate of fish
cakes, called for ''a cup ov coffee an
pace ov poi" "Vot kind uf py?"
asked the German attendant. '.Quinz
poi" ''Mintz?" ''No, quinz, We thick
headed Dutchman. Do look loike
man that 'ud ate mate on Friday?"-
N. Y. Herald.
No, gentle Cockney, the George
Washington, of whom you seem to have
heard for the first time, was never "a
'orse breeder" We have an indistinct
cason casH 1fsf be took Bull by VII the horns and
as the Irishman said, gave him good
batting George was rather a genius
in that line, and if you will look the
story up when you return to ''Efold
you will find some reference
to him in the British archives. Chicago
HernLd
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

"A Canadian has invented method
of putting glass in sash without the en-
ployment Of putty.
Some Swedish manufacturers OF
matches are proposing to set up large
factory in northern New York.
"A German patent has just been
taken out for the manufacture of bot
ties, ETC., from cast iron, containing
twelve per cent Of silicon, compound
which is said to resist action of the
strongest acids
DR.. Quesneville stated before the
Societe d'Hygiene that he had pre-
served water potable for more than
three years by adding to it half grain
Of salicylic acid for each quart. 1t is
recommended for use in expeditions in
warm climates.
After long consideration Of means
for stopping a ship suddenly when
emergency requires, German has
adopted the principle of recoil of
gun as the only feasible basis for ex-
pertinent. He proposes to fasten on
the front of the ship an immense can
non charged with some powerful ex-
plosive and ready to be fired by cleo
tricitv at moments notice. He sup
poses that the recoil would exactly
counterbalance the momentum OF the
ship, the armament, Of course, being
proportioned to the tonnage.
In letter to a friend in Berlin,
Prof. Nordenskjold lately wrote as fol-
lows: "As for my expedition to Green
land, it is my intention, starting from
Auleitsivikfiord on the west coast IN
sixtv-eight degrees thirty minutes north
latitude to push into the interior Re
Ivinp on the fact that all the winds
which reach the coast from the interior
are dry and comparatively warm, be-
lieve. contrary to the prevailing opln-
ion. that the interior is free from ice.
further believe that, under the meteor
olocical conditions now existing south
of eighty degrees north latitude, ice
covered continents are a physical i'm
possibility"
The increasing scarcity Of tallow OF
animal origin has attracted the atten-
ton of candle and soap manufacturers
to a vegetable grease introduced INTO
Europe toward 1848, and the use OF
which is steadily growing in France and
ENGLAND. The tallow tree is Of Chinese
origin; it grows also in the northwest
of India. and has been introduced into
South Carolina, where it has been cul-
tivated for ten years. 1t produces
fruit the core Of which is covered with a
layer of thick tallow, and contains
yellowish aromatic oil, used in the same
country as heating agent. After the
plucking, which takes place in July IN
the south and in October In the north
Of China, hot water is poured on them
and the grease is skinned off after get
ting cold with spoons; the tallow,
nodded into the form of bamboo canes,
is directly brought into commerce,
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12
HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA SATURDAY, MAY 12 1888

CHIEF WADE, of the Pemperton
square police, Boston, Mass, was shot in
Two places few days ago by a crank
named Brennan.
GEORGE w. EVERETT, Millersburg.
" has been disbarred from practicing as
an attorney before the Department of the
Interior.
AT Dallas, Tex, on the 7th Simon
wilson was sentenced to sixty-seven years
Imprisonment for murder.
IHE United States Supreme Court
has declared void the Downton patent on
the roller process of making flour.
A RECENT dispatch from st. Peters
burg, Russia, says official reports from the
Governments of Samaria, Simbrisk and As.
trakhan state the crops are total failure
and famine is expected.
| IHREE Vienna (Austria) newspapers
have been confscated for reporting a meet
ing in support of the Liberals.
The Louisiana Supreme Court has
decided that municipal bonds can not be
| taxed.
Ex-TREAsURER Polk, of Tennessee.
has given bail in the sum of $35, 900 and
again been released.
AN incendiary fire at Lexington, KY,
on the 7th destroyed the stable of ]. A.
Grinstead, containing six thoroughbred
yearlings, all imported, and all the animals
were consumed. Loss, $4,000
A NUMBER of men were overcome at
the Continental Colliery, Ashland, Pa, the
other day by gas generated by a small To-
comotive in the mine. All work was stop
ped.
GOVERNOR SPRAGUE, the famous stall
lion owned by j. l. Case, of Racine, Wis,
died at Lexington, Kentucky, few days
ago, of pink-eye. The animals winnings
on the turf last year amounted to $4,000.
HENRY MERROTT and Mary Pesun
were placed on trial at New York the other
day for robbing jeweler at Paris, France,
of $4,000 worth of diamonds.
A CONVENTION of Free-thinkers OF
the United States and Canada is to be held
at Rochester, N. Y, beginning August 30,
and continuing five days.
The Apache Indians have been de-
feated in an engagement with Mexican
troops in the Sierra Madre, with the loss
OF twenty seven killed and thirty-six pris-
oners.
A BRANCH of ODonavan Rossa's
Irish Revolutionary League was organized
in New York a few days ago, with mem
bership of one hundred. Dynamite was the
rock upon which the society was built.
THREE children walking under an
umbrella during slight thunderstorm at
Winona, Minn., recently, were struck by
lightning, two of thorn being killed asAs-r9.aa
third partially paralyzed.
JAMES F. SPENGMAN, clerk in the
Provdent Institution for Savings at Jersey
City, N. j., is reported to have gone to
Richmond, leaving deficiency in his cash
account.
A. A. TINTsMAN q Co., coke manu-
facturers, Pittsburgh, Pa, have made an
assignment, with liabilities of $4,000, on
account of the depression in the coke
trade.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12
They Settled.

Two men were wrangling in front Of
the City Hall the other day, when one
Of them called out:
II tell you | don't owe you no five
dollarsr'
Il say you dol
"And / won't pay it,
"Then I'll sue your
At this point pedestrian halted and
inquired of the one:
tDo you honestly owe him.
'.Not penny, sfr!''
"And will you sue him for five dol
lars?" he asked of the other
II willr'
..Give him seven dollars" continued
the pedestrian to the debtor give
him seven and be glad to. Ii he sues
he's sure of a verdict, and your ex-
penses will reach at least ten dollars.
Give him seven and be thankful that
YOU are beating two lawyers, justice
and a constable, six jurymen and two
witnesses out of their fees. M -
A satisfactory settlement was made
on the spot.-DetroH Free Press.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

TuE Iowa Republican State Commit
zoe has fixed the date of the State Conven-
.;on on June q, at Des Moines.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

Tup State Auditor of Iowa has re-
,otpd the certificates of number of mu-
''Il;fe insurance companies.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

Tur death Of Rev. Josiah Hender-
on Mrs. Stoves "Uncle Tom," occurred
'o'' :. nresaen. Ont, ON the 9th inst.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

TuE New Brunswick Legislature has
Die Pp.~,;.,oeut restricting salmon fishing.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

CHIHUAHUA Apaches say that Charlie
McComas, whose father and mother were
maSsacred near Lordsburg, N. NJ, by In
Indians recently, is alive and well among
the Indians in Mexico.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

s,lA prohibiting free passes being
..,+ed TO any one except railroad employees
end @ oficers has passed the New York As
semby. .-
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

rur annexation Of New Guinea to
Queensland has been approved by the Aus
.s.l;an Colonial Government.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

AT the National Liberal Club ban
quet at London, Eng, the other evening
Mr. Gladstone said the Government had
met dangers from an unseen agency, secret
societies. successfully.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

AT its one hundred and fifteenth
annual meeting, on the 3D., the New York
unamber of Commerce reelected George
w. Lane President. A memorial sketch of
'he lie OF Peter Cooper was read.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

A MARRIAGE has been arranged be-
+ueen the hereditary Prince of Anhalt and
tbe second daughter of the Crown Prince of
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

lHE Dublin Qreland) grand jury re-
turned large number of indictments on
y une 0d' among which were true bills against
lyman, John Walsh and P. J. Sheridan for
nlurder. These three are in America.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

The meeting Of King Humbert Of
Italy and Emperor Francis Joseph of Aus
trla' which was to have taken place at Ber-
IN this spring, has been postponed until
the 9Th of next November.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

BRITISH troops have been ordered to
Port Said, Egypt, where committee is in
opring into the causes of recent disturb
ances there.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

The Treasury Department has de-
cided the Government has no title to certain
lands in Fernandina, Fla, sold for direct
taxes in 1868. The property in controversy
valued at 81, 100000
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

THE Mexican Government has made
a contract for the Improvement Of Vera
Cruz Harbor. The work will cost 1,037 900
Mexican silver dollars.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

IT was reported on the Sd that in con-
sequence Of revelations by informers two
hundred members of the Patriotic Brother
hood had lately left County Armagh, Ire
land, for parts unknown.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

MINISTER MORTON has presented
President Grevy a souvenir album given
BY the citizens of Providence, R. l., in
honor of the Frenchmen who fell at York
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

THE Massachusetts, Legislature has
adopted resolution recognizing the abili
ty, services and integrity of Oakes Ames,
and asking for like recognition on the part
Of Congress.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

The Prince of Wales formally opened
the School of Music at Kensington, Eng,
on the 7th. The Duke and Duchess of
Edinburgh and Gladstone were present at
the ceremony.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

ihE business failures throughout the
9lll'eu otates and Canada during the seven
uayS ended on the 4th numbered 152, as
IMPAIRED mp, with lS2 the week previous.
rorty-lour failures occurred in the West
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

LIE dynamite plot, it is claimed, was
Rr;.ist eu n n America and was betrayed to the
@ D'IViSn consul in New York and all the
wa,aSu,, rtuiarS given to the English police, who
h 1s'led the conspirators from the moment
Wey landed there.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

ron.s tal foreman of the jury in the star
tenti.s .aSes at Washington has called at
.,a' n4Un 10 the fact that he and his associ-
ava.. nave devoted one-seventieth of the
wantp se human lifetime to the trial. He
wants to 20 home
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

tain - Gnicago, H., the other day GER
quest ~ contested the payment of be-
Cmr,t priest of the Roman Catholic
for the 70 = reimburse him for saying mass
The pose OF the soul of the testator, on
for snn uana mat the money was expended
held thpefstitious ~ use. The Circuit Court
beonss. ooJectlon could not hold and the
''' was valid under the State statute.
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

~ y "I REAT, at st. Louis, Mo-, on
jndg,nss sDe'alhed a motion in arrest of
victed 'n, ~ IN the case of J. G. Alleon, con-
tbrona, u sending forbidden literature
Of tha S lae mails. He also gave the agent
anotb. otbJ'ie'y Tor the Suppression of Vice
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

p,r,iai, hh 'nlrd trial of Timothy Kelly for
and pnY' a'ioh IN the murder of Cavendish
III nc oegan at Dublin, Ireland, on the
~. IL, James Carey, the informer. swore
Joe ny one of the Invincibles except
lauy had offered to tnrn informer
Huntsville gazette., 1883-05-12

Ion, n members of the Pennsylvania
in ~ VINO served in the Union army
itad !, var OF the rebellion the other day Wis
buro w ". Scehe OF the battles before Peters
peter.t a. lhey were welcomed to the city of
'isourg by Senator Mabona