Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-12-27
BRIGHT BITS.

"DoN,r Won think that this half mask isvery
becoming to me2' inquired young lady y. OF a
rival at an Austin masqueraoe parry, ~, fsce !
yes; it hides at least portion Vi yVui Law
-TeSds Siftings.
IT is said that there are only two men IN
America who make hand-organs: Now icy
some rich philanthropist offer $4,000 ior Ihelr
discovery, and Wen NIP the nuisance IA ING
bud.-BaFiingt0n free FFeSS'
A VISITOR asks Of a young girl who is about
to marry widower, Now, my dear, dld ne
maIe his first wife happyfn did he make
her happve' exclaimed the girl, ''why, madam,
She has the handsomest monument IN the
cemetery"
'.FREDDIE. did you go to school to-day - =,
ssYes'm." did you learn anything new!
s'Yes'm." "What was it, my hoyy" Il got
on to a sure way of gettin' out for an hour by
snuffin' red ink up my nose."-Hartford sun
day Journal.
SPA. what is poetic licenseS" "Well, my
bow, as nearly as l can learn, poetic license Is
something which enables q man to say things
in verse which would incarcerate him IN q
lunatic asylum if worked of at political
meeting."-OU city Derrick.
LOOK HERE" said Fusticus, at recent
concert s'the seat you have given me is only
fit for a dog" "Why, what's the matter with
seats nj II u the hal. .That may ali be-" said
Fusticus, "but it's dog seat for all that.
Look at the number; that proves In W
''wFAT time does the 800 train start?'' de-
manded an excited female, waving her vallse
at a bashful young clerk on one OF our busi-
ness streets the other afternoon, And the
young man was so embarrassed that nc
blushed up to his eyes and meekly stamineFeu,
ssThree twenty, ma am.'-Burtfngtof fFee
Press.
THE vOung man who at the rink Saturday
evening, observed the writer and a lady skat-
ing together, and made some remark about
Beauty and the Beast" Will hear OF some
thing to his disadvantage If he VIII eau az TINS
office. No punishment Is too severe Tor a brute
who will call lady beast.-Bismdfc6 tn
bune.
UNCLE ERNEST surprised Lii wetting her
fingers with brandy from flask and smear
ing the face of a doll with il, what are you
doing there, little onefo said he. "My doll Is
pale" answered she; 81 am giving 1t color"
but you can't impart color with that;
''Yes, | can, for mamma told me IL was brandy
that made your nose so red. II Sehdn9e
ULYSSES 6. GRANT, JR.. recently bought "a
piece of an apartment house" in New York
| for $4,000. The query arises naturally as TO
how many millions man must be WGrth IN
New York before he can buy an entlre she-
bang of his own, with nice yard, hot and
| cold water, and a stationary washstan d.-Sdn
Francisco -Ne1oS Letter.
"MADAM," he began, as he lifted his hat at
the front door, Il am soliciting for home char
| tiles. We have hundreds of poor, ragged and
| vicious children ike lnOse AT your Sdles anu
| our object is" ''Sir, those are my children"
she interrupted, and the way that front door
| slammed his toes Jared every hair on his
scalp lock.-Detroit Free Press.
AT Silver Butte, Col, miner named Will
| son Thomas, while reading his Bible on a
| lofty ledge of rock, went to sleep and fell into
| the canon below. He was Instantly killed,
| and Henry Jones, his lifelong enemy, who
/ came up and buried the remains, struck a
| mine while digging the grave, which assayed
| $I,672 to the ton. The dead mans Bible was
! found open at the words "Forgive your enc
| mics" We trust the lesson improved Jones,
| he wanted the earth.-BOStOn Post.
SMITuERs-'I hear a great deal OF talk
| about the number OF miles Il man walks dur
| ing an evening at billiards, and have great
! mind to learn the game just TOR exercise.
| Blithers-s'Ehat ls moi a bad idea. MOST gen.
! tlemen play billiards." Smithers-"And you
| consider it good eXercse?" Blithers-"Cer-
| tanly; very much better than sitting STILL
! Smithers-"About what distance, on an aver
age, will a man cover in one game" Blithers
swell, that depends good deal on the dis
| lance of the table from the bar."-PhitddeI-
! phid CAL.
"HEAH, GENER'L," exclaimed negro man,
| addressing an 'Old timer" my son kaln'
work fur yer no longer, sah." why"
''Wall, luther day yer tole him ter take hlsse'
| outen de parlor. Dat mOuter been all right,
| but eff dat habit am KEEP up, niger won
| hab no chance tall airter while. Ger's too
| close nohOw. Las place he worked he foteh
! home a ham, but sence he's wOrkin fur verse
| he kahn 'ainly fetch home shoulder. Doan
say dat dis is yer own fault, boss, but does
| say dat it am grindin' de cullud man till he
doan' know which way ter turn rhdnsdaC
| TrdUekeT.