Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-04-06
TIE BAD BOY.
He VIII Bring in Goal. but Draws the Line
at Aindllng Wood.
n u Il ni.D TRICK PLAYED ON HIS
CSSl sPECTING FATHER.

tNst sPECTiNG FATHER.
Il was down to the drug store thi
morning. and saw your ma buSing
lot Of court plaster, enough t. max,
q shirt. | should think. What's sh,
doing with So much court plaster?'
asked the grocery man of the bad boy
a5 he came i'll and pulled off his boot,
by the stove and emptied out u lot o
snow that had collected as he walket
through drift, on the hearth, which
melted and made bad smell.
%, L guess she is going to patch p;
up So he will hold water. PAS TEN
per got him into the worst muss yor
ever see, last night. II that museum
was here now they would hiro pa
and exhibit him as the tattooed man
l tell YOU. have got too old to bt
mauled as though L was kid, ant
any Liuu WIZ dltuChS llo lIOul buls
out, wants to have his peace made
with the insurance companies, anG
know that his calling and election is
sure, because l am a bad man, and
don't you forget it And the boy
pulled on his boots and looked SO
cross and desperate that the grocery
man asked him if he wouldn't try a
little new cider
"Good heavens" said the grocery
man, as the boy swallowed the cider,
and his face resumed its natural look,
and the piratical frown disappeared
with the cider You have not stabbed
your father have you? l have feared
that one thing would bring on an
other, with you, and that You would
yet bo hung"
Nav, i haven't stabbed him. 1t
was another cat that stabbed him.
You see, pa wants me to do all the
work around the house. Tho other
day he bought load of kindling
wood, and told me to carry it into the
basement. l have not been educated
up to kindling wood, and l didn't do
it. When supper time came, and pa
found that l hal not carried in the
kindling wood, he had a hot box. and
he told me if that wood was not in
when he came back from the lodge,
that he would warm my jacket. Well.
l tried to hire some one to carry it in,
and got a man to promise to come in
the morning and carry it in and take
his pay i'll groceries, and [ was going
to buy the groceries here and have
them charged to pn. But that wouldn't
help me out that night. knew when
pa came home he would search for
me. SO l slept in the back hall on a
cot. But L didn't want pa to have all
his trouble for nothing. so l borrowed
an old tom eat that my chum's old
maid aunt owns, and put the cat in
my bed | thought if pa came in my
room after mo, and found that by his
unkindness that L had changed to a
tom cat, he would be sorry. That is
tho biggest cat you ever see, and the
worst fighter in our ward. 1t isn't
afraid of anything, and can whip a
New Foundland dog quicker than you
could put sand in n barrel OF sugar.
Well, about eleven o'clock heard pa
tumble over the kindling wood. and l
knew by the remark he made, as the
wood slid around under him, that
there was going to be cat fight real
quick. He come up to mas room and
sounded ina as to whether Hennery
had retired to his yirtuous couch
Pa is awful sarcastic when he tries to
be. l could hear him take off his
clothes, and hear him say, as he
picked up trunk strap, Il gness l
will go up to his room and watch the
smile on his face, as he dreams OF
angels. l yearn to press him to my
aching BOSOM / thought to myself,
mebbe you won't yearn SO much di-
rectly. He como up stairs. and Icould
hear him breathing hard. L looked
out around the corner and could see
he Just had on his shirt and pants,
and his suspenders were hanging
down, and his bald head shone like a
calcium light just before it e1plodes.
Pa went in my room and up to the
bed, and | could hear him say. Come
out here and bring in that kindling
wood, or | will start n fire on your
base burner with this strap And
then there was a yowling such as L
never heard before, and pa said.
Helen Blazes,' and the furniture in
my room began to fall around and
break o, my! l think pa took the
tom cat right by the neck. the way he
does me, and that left all the cats
feet, free to get in their work. BY the
way the cat squawled as though it was
being choked, know pa had him
by the neck. L suppose the cat
thought pa was n whole flock Of New
Foundland dogs, and the cat had a
record on dogs, and it kicked awful.
Pas shirt was no protection at all in
a cat fight. and the cat just walked
all around pas stomach, and pa yelled
police and fire. and turn on the
hose and he called ma, and tho cat
yowled. If pa had had presence of
mind enough to have dropped the cat,
or rolled it up in tho mattrass, it
would have been all right, but man
always gets ratified in time of danger,
and he held onto the cat and started
down stairs yelling murder, and he
met ma coming up. l guess mas
night cap, or something. frightened
the cat some more, cause he stabbed
ma on the night-shirt with one hind
foot, and ma said mercy on us and
she went back, and pa stumbled on q
hand sled that was on the stairs, and
they all fell down, and the cat got
away and went down in the coal biz
and yowlcd all night. Pa and mi
went into their room. and guess they
anointed themselves with vase!ine an,
Ponds extract. and L went and go
into my bed. cause it was cold ont ii
The hall. and the cat had warmed my
bed as we'll as it had warmed pa. L
was all could do to go 10 sleep, will
pa and ma talking all night, and thi:
morning | came down the back stair!
and haven't been to breakfast. cause
| don't want to see pa when he i: