The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1883-03-10
NOTES.

A son of the Emerald Isle had the misfortune
one day to fall into his well. His wife hearing
the commotion, rushed out in great consterna-
ton, and going to the side of the well, called
down: Barney Barney are you there %
Faith an | am, y came back family from the
bottom of the well. Barney Barney are
you dead ?' "No, but I'm spacheless %
We publish the above a~necdote, taken from a
late exchange, to prove that there are some
things that never die. This joke can be traced
back to the time of the Deluge. 1t is said to
have been first uttered by Japhet latter he had
fallen down the main hatch of the Ark in re-
Spouse to Shem's anxious inquiries. 1t is then
lost sight of until deciphered by Egyptalo gists
from a series of hieroglyphics, detailing the res
cue of Joseph from the pit in which his breth-
rem had cast him. 1t is told of an Alpine guide
who had slipped into Il crevasse n thousand feet
deep, and Of n man who had thrown himself
from the top of the column of Vendome and
any day we may expect to have it reported of
some unlucky artesian well-borer out on the
plains.
The S. +, Chronicle resorts to all sorts of
articles and lodges in order to deprecate the
treaty, but whilst willfully perverting the truth,
when abiding to the trade between the United
States aud the Hawaiian Islands, it is not abso-
lutely necessary that the subsidized writers of
the Chronicle should express their entire ignor-
ance of commercial transactions. Because Amer
lea imports certain foreign manufactures for her
own use, the Chronicle argues that it would be
more profitable to keep the capital at home that
is invested in these imports, than in encouraging
foreign trade. The Chronicles policy can be
best explained by its own words. We, therefore,
reproduce the following from its issue of the
29th of January
"There can be no doubt that investments of
American capital, whether in the Hawaiian
Islands or in Mexico, are accompanied by Amer
lean trade but this is no reason why such in
vestments should be encouraged by special treat
les. The same capital would have amuch greater
effect in stimulating American industries if re-
tanned within the country. That America does
not possess sufficient capital for her own needs is
Just as true as that she does not possess sufficient
manufactures for her own consumption. 1t is,
to some extent, because of this diversion of
American capital and trade that the increase in
American imports, composed mainly of manu-
features, during the last three fiscal years, as
compared with the three years preceding,
amounted o the enormous total of 500, 900, 900.
At the present rate of progress America can
never overtake the wants of her own market.
Hence the impudent assertion that the country
requires new openings for her manufactures is
only equaled in absurdity by the monstrous
fiction that it is the duty of our legislators to
develop the rival industries of neighboring pop
~ulations, whether native or imported, at the ex-
pense of the American taxpayers
The March number of the anglican Church
Chronicle was issued on Monday. The proprietors
and publishers of this journal regret its nOn-ap-
pearance on the regular day, the delay being una
voidable owing TO pressure of work at the PACIFIC
COMMERCIAL ADVERTISER printing ONCE
The Daily Budisms reports Professor Hitch
cock as saying in his lecture on the ''Carboni-
ferrous Period, - delivered on the evening of the
9Th instant, that a luxurious form of vegetation
hourished when there was no life. 1t must be
pleasant to a professor of an 'texact science, -
we believe geology now ranks as such-to be
credited with saying lin effect that vegetation is
not a form of life.
The d, B. of Queen street tells US that the
visitors at Emma Square on Monday last warmly
applauded not only the good music, but also the
well kept condition of the Park itself. Will the
D. B. please explain in what manner the visitors
applauded the Park ? Did they give three cheers
for Mr.. Cleghorn, who has beautihed 1t, or did
they violently clacque the green trees and the
grass, and call for a 81 speech" and d" encore p
Or-but maybe the MISUNDERSTANDING
condition-ot-the-Park part Of the ID. B. item
was . a mistake on the part Of the compositor "
as usual. -
THE Y. NJ. C. A. buildi ng joys slowly along
Friend for March.
Nothing could test the stability of u building
more than to have it '~jogging along no matter
how slowly. 1t IS a great risk to allow 1t to do
so, and we would advise that steps be taken to
compel it to remain in one place. If this is not
done, we may not be able to tell just where it Is
when it is ready for occupancy. Let it be stop
ped by being informed that its title, Y. NJ. c. 4.
means, You Must Cast Anchor
"Who was the Minister last Friday who took
too much gin on board, and as he was being
taken home, said in a voice checked with sobs,
I am a tool = Can it be that there is truth in
the story ?"-Gazette.
We are led to disbelieve the above story for
three reasons. First: The characters of the
Ministers In and about Honolulu is above snspi-
cion. They attend to the duties Of their pas
torates and parishes as sober Christian men and
Ministers. Secondly: We know that on that
particular Friday night, they were, as usual,
conducting their meetings or blocking out their
Sunday sermons. And thirdly: The story APP
pears in the Gazette.