The Greenville times., 1883-05-12

run this funeral the way | wanted
to, and now you can boss it, if you
let me out, but there was n street
ear a head and all Of sudden
there was an earthquake, aud
when come to there was about
six hundred people pouring water
down my neck. aud the hearse
hitched to the fence, and the
hearse-driver was asking il my leg
was broke, and a policeman was
tanning the minister with q plug
hat that looked as though it had
been struck by pile.driyer, and
some people were hauling our /.
buggy into the gutter, and some
men were trYingto take the old
PAGER out of the windows of the
street-car, aud then ! guess faint
ed away again. o, ii was worse
than telescoping n train loaded
with cattle.n
"Wcll, | swan,' said the grocery
man, as he put some eggs ina fun
mol shaped brown paper for SER
want girl. "What did the minis
ter say whdn he come to ~
"Say! What could he say He
Just yelled whoa aud kept saw
ing with hith his hands, MS though
he was driving. heard that tho
policeman was going to pull him
for fast driving, till ho found that
il was IN accident. They told me |
me when they carried me home in
a hack, that it was a wonder every |
body was not killed, and when |
got home pa was going to sass me
unlil tho hoarse-driver told him
it was the minister that was to
blame. | want to find out if they
got the minister's umbrella back.
The last sec of it the umbrella
was running mp his trousers leg
and the point come out by the
small Of his back, But | am all
right, only my shoulders sprained
and my legs bruised, and my eye
black. | will bcall right, only my
eye black. will be all right to-
morrow, cause the livery man says
| was the only one in the crowd
that had any sense. | understand
the minister is going to take q va
cation on account of his liver and
nervous prostration. ! would il /
was him. never saw a man that
had nervous prostration any worse
than he did when they fshod him
out of the barbed wire fence, after
he struck tho street-car. But
that settles the minister business
with me. | don't drive for no
more preachers. What | want is
q quiet party to 60 on walk and
the boy got up and hopped on one
foot toward his crutches, filing his
pistol pocket with figs as he hob.
bled along.
swell, sir,n said the grocery man
as he took u chew out of q pail,
and offered some to the boy know.
ing that was the only thing in the
store the boy would not take, " do
you know think some of these
ministers have about as little
sense on worldly matters, as any
body! Now the idea of that man
Jerking an old PAGER. II don't
make amy difference if the PAGER
was q hundred years old he would
pace if he was jerked on"
"You bet" said the boy, as he
put his crutchcs under his arms
and started for the door. "a
minister may be sound on tho
atonement, but he don't want to
saw on on an old PAGER. He may
have the subject of infant baptism
down finer than a cambric needle
but if he has ever been to college,
he ought to have learned enough
not to say yeup' to an old PAGER
; that has been the boss of the road
in his time. A minister may be en-
dowed with sublime powers to
draw sinners to repentance. and
and make them feel like getting up
and busting for the beautiful be.
} yond, and cause them, by his elo'
quence, to see angles bright and
fair in their dreams, and chariots
of fire flying through the pearly
gates and down the golden streets
of the New Jurasalem, but he
wants to turn out for streetcar al
the same, when he is driving a 2-2C
PAGER. Tho next time | drive 9
minister to a funeral, he will walk,
, and the boy hobbled out and hung
out a sign in front of the grocery
! Smoked dog fish at halibut prices
good enough for company"
The construction trains are now
running or the west bank of tht
Yazoo river. The two saw-mil
boats Jennie Julia and Lumbermai
n n ~. -