davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20
Chinese health.

In China man buys his wife. If she
has small feet, the price paid for her is
greater than if her feet were large, for
small feet are sign of mobility, and
noble wives are expensive in China.
Th9 extent of Chinaman's wealth
may be inferred from the size of his
wife's feet. If he has no wife, he may
be set down as a poor man. That way
of looking at matrimony as an indica-
tion OF wealth was recently expounded
by Chinese baker in Los Angeles, Cali
fornia: --..s'..
Two gentlemen from the East step
ped into his shop to taste Chinese past
ry. They found the baker willing TO
explain as far as his knowledge of En-
glish would permit, how each thing
was made. He also showed the visi,
tors about the bakery, and answered all
their questions.
AT last he turned to the yonger of
the gentlemen and asked
"You gottee wife?"
"No," answered the young man,
laughing, ''not yet"
90, you poor maj !"
"Why what do you mear'"
---->s.s 49, 49,, -. -.
Then he turned to tie other American
with the same question:
"9ou gGttee wi t?
Eyes, I've got one at home," was the
reply.
90, you Itch mamie no Itch; he no
gottee wife. How muchee your wife
cesi?"
"Costl l don't no just how much,
but she costs good DEAL" said the
man sailing; but have you got a
wife,
"No, no, me no gottee wife. Me no
Ech; me poor. Me save money--save
thousand tollar--go home China, buy
wifs."
"Well, low much does wife cost in
Chins?"
"Oo, oder plices. Good wife, alice
big feet, leetle plice; alice same leetle
feet, big plice. 90, cost heap pile,
dless es and eateei"
The cool way of estimating jsdy's
value was new thought to the Ameri-
cans, who were glad their nome Was
not in land where all the romance of
courting is unknown, and marrying a
wife is merely a matter of dollars and
cents.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20
Iron and Steel Product.
REPORT OF THE ASSOCIATION

PHILADELPHIA, April 1.-THE an
nual report of the American Iron and
Steel Association shows a large de-
crease in the production of iron rails
in 1882 over 1881, and small decrease
in the production of open heat steel
rails and crucibie steel ingots. In all
other articles there was an increase in
1882 over 1881, with the single excep-
ZION of pig iron. However the increase
was in Lo instance la-ge, and even in
pig iron only IL per cent. Iron and
steel imports of 1882 made a total
of 163. .597 tons value over iron ard
steel exports of that year; $19 ,029 756
over The pig iron production .f 81,
was obtained in 26 states and Utah
territory, and of the total of 5,17S122
tons. Pennsylvania produced 2, ,449 256
tons. The tonnage of iron vessels
built during the year is 40,097 tons,
the largest n cur history.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

TIE death Of Mr.. Jarvis Brush, at
New Haven last week, took from life Il
man who had been of great use in the
world. He was the founder Of the
American Pin Company, that made
the first solid headed pin, those before
that time having wire heads. 1t was
iii 1916 that Mr.. Brush perfected the
machine for sticking the pins in paper
ready for sale, as now. Mr.. Brush had
lived under the administration of every
President of the United States, having
been born January 6, 1877. In 1888
hu took up the manufacture of the pins
that have since continued in use.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

THE wives of some OF the most prom
inent men of C)nder7port, Pa, have
formed society in opposition TO the
Masonic order. They have determ-
ined to hold their meetings on the
same evenings as the Masons, at as
late an hour, and will eLdeavor TO
reach home IN the same state of set
'+m up. ativencss as their l"r3s and
masters
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

IT SWEEPS THE WRONG WAY.
WASHINGTON, April 17.-G en. Chal-
mers has met several obstacles in the
way of his efforts to be a 49,
MISSISSIPPI MALONE.
He thought he could get control of the
patronage in his state without
EXACTLY IDENTIFYING HIMSELF
with the republicans. He did succeed
in getting Kemble, receiver of public
moneys, removed, but this was due to
the fact that the Mississippi influence
here assented to the removal. Believ-
ing that he had got Kemb,e removed
by his own influence, Chalmers gave
the federal A.. -.-- ...--
oFFIcEHeLDERs TO UNDERSTAND
thst they must help him in his faction
al fighting with the democrats or the
other clans, or he would get them re-
moved. Last month he wrote to the
postoffice department
DEMANDING THE REMOVAL
of the postmaster of Columbus, Miss,
and the appointment of a democrat OF
his own set AS soon as Judge Gresh-
am entered the ffic, .
MISSISSIPPI REPUBLICANS
protested against the proposed remov-
al. The postmaster general concurred
with the professors and announced yes.
terday that no removals or appoint
ments would be made in his depart
ment at the
DEMAND OF GEN. CHALMERS.
AS Frank Hatton ia known to be en-
in favor of aiding and
abetting all bolts or independent move
ments, this decision indicates change
of policy in the department, and the
postmaster generals entire indepen-
dence of his first assistant.
Z
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

One Of the few Industries which wjl
have more protection after July 1,t
than at present is that Of making crock
cry. This business is extensively de-
veloped in New Jersey and Etstem
Ohio. The Trenton potters at recent
meeting pledged themselves not to in
crease their prices under the new law
over "the lowest average OF the last
ton year4," and declared that "prices
will be lower TO the Consumer for the
next five Yeas than they have been
during any period of five years for the
past 100 years.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20
ing the Door.

There was crack under the kitchen
door-a crevice large enough for one
to put hand under and early in No
vember Mrs. Crispo began saying:
NOW, Cfispo, don't let this day pass
without mailing down clcat to stop
that crevice. 1t will let in more cold
this winter than two tons or coal can
drive out"
And Crispo began replying:
Certainly, my dear-certainiy. That
crevice shall be stopped this very
day."
On fifteen different occasions in No
vember she reminded him OF the fact
that he had forgotten the crevice. In
December the number of occasions
WAS twenty. Daring the month of
January she spoke of it twenty-five
times. In February she began refer
ring to the matter at each mea., and
the other day she nailed him down
with the remark:
"Crispo, am going down town, and
I'll stop aud ask a carpenter to come
up and fix the door,"
"l'll fix it."
"No you wontl You just let it alone.
I'll have carpenter here before night,
and that door will be fxqd.'
I'm fix it myselt-righs away
now, and in five minutes he had saw
ard hammer and, cleat and was at the
j5b.
Mrs Crispo went eff chuckiing over
her victory, and upon her return her
husband said:
"Well, the old crevice is shut uf."
"You liked it, eh!'
Fixed it better than any carpenter
you could have sent, and Ii ten min.
utes, too. Come AMI see."
She io9k one look at his work and
then sat down and whispered:
"Crispo, you juat missed it by 9
hairs breadth"
"What?"
Being born fool You nailed the
cIeat to the floor inside the door,"
| So he had. He had shut the crevice
and the door, too, and when he came
70 realize it, he walked slowly ont into
the back yard and tried to saw hi
head off on the clothes line.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20
The Star Route Agony.
LORD PITY THE JURY !

WASHINGTON, April 17.-One of the
leading counsel for the government in
the star route case said this evening
that it was probable that the case would
not be given to tn e jury before the LIST
of June; that the rebutting testimony
of the prosecution would be closed
Tuesday, and the following day Mr..
Kerr would begin the opening argu-
ment. He is expected to consume i've
days. Carpenter two days, Chandler
three days, Wilson three days, Ipger,
soil two days, Bliss two days, Henkie
three days, Davidge two days, Merrick
two days, and Atty Gen'l Brewster the
close in one day. s.-
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20
The Cars Coronation.

EFRLN April LII is likely that
the coronation of the car will be post
pened until the 10.h of June. The
latest proclamation Of the Ni,-ilists
merely refers to the cur in scornful
way, saying he is beneath criticism.
Well informed Russians say there is
no danger feared for the czar at the
coronation, with the exception perhaps
OF the act OF an isolated fanatic and
even that is unlikely.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20
L,yl1 aui n akone.
A HAPPY COMBINATION.


WASHINGTON, April Ex-senator Ma
hone is understood to have matured
his plans for
CAPTURING THR REPUBLICAN
nomination for vice president next
year. His plan contemplates an ac-
tive canvass of his own state on a dis
tinctly g gFE AZ
HIGH TARIFF ISSUE, hkt
and whatever sinews of war are needed
are TO be provided by the Pennsylvania
manufacturers. The Virginia delega-
tion to the next republican Convention
will be instructed by the state conyen
ten to present Senator Malone as 8
candidate for the vice presidential
nomination. This will be promptly
seconded by the Pennnsylvania delega-
ton and Mr.. Mshone's candidacy viii
be urged in
BEHALF OF THE HIGH TARIFF
interest and of~the disruption of the
solid south. There is reason to suspect
that this scheme goes further than
Senator Malone. 1t the second place
on the ticket be given to man from a
state SO far east and south as Virginia,
it will be necessary "a order to make
it balance, that the first place should
be filed from one of the northwestern
states, and If 3 confederate brigsdier
is to be the tail of the ticket, it viii be
urged "a imperative that the head OF
the ticket should be Union msjor
general.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20
How 10 Answer "Hashers y

There lives in 81. Louis very sensi-
bic old German named Muller, who
keeps store. He has daughter
named Nina. Not long since she at
tracted the attention Of one of those
unfortunate creatures called "mashers,
SO called because their noses need
MASKING about ten times day. He
found out where she lived, and NEXT
day an unkempt urchin brought Miss
Mailer personal note, marked "strict-
" confidential" The contents of the
note were IN the effect that he loved
her for herself alone. The following
postscript was added:
p. S-That my darling may make
no mistake, remember that i viii wear
q light pair Of pants and dark cut
away coat. In my right hand ! will
carry small cane, and in my left q
cigar Yours forever.
As the urchin said he was told to
wait for an answer. Miss Muller took
the note 10 her fs'ner and requested
him 70 write an answer. The old man
did 90, stating that his daughter would
be at the appointed place at the time
specified by proxy, he, her father hay-
ing authority TO represent her at the
proposed caucus. The postscript read
as sollows: as Ss.s -
P.S-Dot mine con may make no
mistakes, 1 viii pc dreshed in my shirt
sleeves. Twill vear in mine right hand
q Club; in mine left hand I viii wear q
SIX shooter, 45 calibre.. You viii rec
cgnize me py de way bats voc on de
head goople dimes twict nit de Club.
Wait for me on de corner, as l have
Something's imbordant to inform you
NIT. Your frent, s1
- f HEIsRIcH MULLER,
Fors some unexplained reason Adol
shus was not on hand when he was
wasted, much to the grief of the old
man. who meant al that he wrote.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20
The FRIDAYS Storm.
DESTROYS A TOWN IN MINNESOTA.

DESTROYS A TOWN IN MINNESOTA.
ST. PAUL, April 17.-Dlspatches state
that the town of Zumbrota Falls. Wa
b4sha county, Mimi, was almost de-
stroyed by cyclone last Friday night
several buildings were entirely demol-
ished. A $5 600 bridge was wrecked.
large school house and other build.
ings were uuroofed and all the stores
houses on both sides of the street from
Sugg's hotel to the river front were
smashed in. The damage done was
not estimated but will be quite heavy
The sane storm also did great deal oi
injury to farms in its track.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20
A Night Telegrapher's Nap.

A man who lately held the position
of night telegraph operator at one of
the stations on New Eogland railroad
has related to q reporter of The New
Haven Union personal experience
which serves to Illustrate the chances of
disaster to which travellers are constant
ly exposed. He was the only man in
the desot at night and his hours were
from 7:SG p nj. to 7:30 A. M. One
night he dropped asleep at his instru
ment and the next thing he knew he
awoke to hear the rumble of an ap-
preaching train, and his telegraphic
call vigorously sounded on the receiv r
before him. To his dismay he perceived
that his right hand and arm were
asleep, as the common expression is,
aud totally useless, aud it was only with
great difficulty that he could give an
lntelligible response to the signal with
his left hand and scrawl brief memor.
andum of the instructions which fol-
lowed. However. he did succeed in
stopping the approaching train and
giving the important orders which he
had just received, But" said he to the
reporter, "the sffAir frightened me so
that l determined never to nap any
more in that effice, and to get of the
road just IS soon As | could find a
decent place elewhere.'
A New HAVEN belle and heiress who
died recently willed her entire fort
une to Brooklyn gentleman to whom
she was engaged to be married. The
will was at once contested by the un-
Gle of the girl and her father. The
latter had separated from his wife a.d
daughter many years before, but
made his appearance to look after tn
property. The contestants claim no
irregularity in the will, but insist that
the estate ought not to go out of the
family. The document, however. VS. 8
admitted to probate, snd now the uncle
flies claims against the property, anu
mas induced others 10 90 the same,
which if allowed, will materially di-
minish the amount of the bequest.
The bills produced include charges for
board, laundry work. ..nse of carriage,
ETC., these being furnished the young
lady on occasions of visits made en- her
| uncle's invitation. The legatee, VINO
wasn't marrying for money, of course,
nevertheless fights manfully for his
| rights.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20
Yankee "Shenannigan."
CHEATING IN EXPORTED TOBACCO.

CHEA1lNG In EArOhIkD TOBACCOr
WASHINGTON, d. G, April 17.-Consul
Lewis, of Sierra Leon, writes to the de-
partment of state that importers of
leaf tobacco from the United States
complain that it is dishonesty packed,
that hogsheads on being opened are
found to contain great deal of refuse
tobacco, that from 25 to so per cent. of
all imported, is not according to SAM
pie and that this Is particularly the
case with Kentucky tobacco owing
to difficulties of inspection of inferior
character of tobacco. According tn
Consul Lewis, it Is rarely DISCOVERIES
until it has found its way into retailers
shops and the result Is the importer is
Obliged to make an allowance TO the
consumer which IN some cases aver
ages 200 pounds spelling per hogshead
on the whole cargo. He urges more
careful inspection of tobacco before
shinmeut
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20
A Smart Man From Chicago.

A smart travelling man from Chica-
go tried to paraIyze q dinipg-room girl
at Fort Dodge, Iowa, during the SNOW
blockade. At dinner one day he or
dered .tsponge soup" and "quail on
fence" The girl went to the kitchen
and got quail and built q fence on
the plate out of kindiiDg wood. Then
she got 2 piece Of sponge froa the
servsd his order IN the presence of
several other travelling 1sep, who gave
him the grand laugh. The landlord
charged him dollar extra for serving
articles not on The bin of fare, and II
cost him IS for cigars and drinks to
keep the matter quiet
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

GENERAL Crook, recog" izing that reg
ular troops are useless in warfare
against the Apaches i'll the mountain
ous country on the border OF Mexico,
is arranging for the employment of
Indian scouts against the hostiles. the
general has information that the Mex
leans are not sparing either men,
women or children of the Apaches.
The San Carlos reservation Indians are
authorized to defend themselves from
tho raids OF the white man.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20
ne Apaehes.

TUcsos, April 17.--A specisi to the
Star from CAlabasas tonight states that
prospec.or was chased Within three
miles If that place this evening The
town Is surrounded by camp fires aud
signaling has been going all day from
the surrounding mountains. The
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

Attempt at Harmony.

NRw YORK, April 1.-The republi-
can central committee have adopted
resolutions inviting suggestions from all
parties des'rous of forming an hermo-
nious and earnest organic ,tion Of the
republic IN party in the city. The COM
mittee to receive suggestions and re-
port plan for reorganization includes
John ]. O'B-ieu, Col. Charles Spencer,
.Wu:. Dowt. Lloyd Aspinwall, Casun-
cy NJ. Depew, Theodore Dwight, White
law Reid, Geo. Jones aud Hugh Hast
inps.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

THE steam ers HISTORIAN and PArthes,
at Boston, and the Indiana, at PhilS-
delpbi5, landed Desrly 1o00 imini-
grants from Ireland the other day, the
British government having paid the
passage expenses il great many in
stances. The nsjo.ity are in destitute
circumstances, having been evicted
from their holdings in Ireland
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

citizens are mounted and awaiting sn
attack on special train from Cap
Huachics, ON the way with troops.
Capt Blacks rangers arrived today.
He says he traced the Indians who
killed MoComas to the Sierra Madre
mountains near Chihuahus. Two
scouts got IN sight OF their camp
In q deep cannon and counted 60
warriors, observed . large amount II
plumber snd great many animals.
He reported the discovery to Capt.
Black, but as the rangers numbered
but %, he feared to return 10 make the
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

THE sum Of S. 0C0-which might
profitably be multiplied ten times-has
been offered by Mr.. Paul to the French
Academy of Medicine, to found prize
for the discovery of a cure for diph,
iberia, the competion open to the
world, and not confined to medical cir
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

Nor far from LouiovIlle, KY, there
is monastery Of Tfappist monks. A
visitor to this strange building is said to
feel as if he had stepped back into the
middle ages. The abbot's chair is n
sort of elevated throne, ard in order to
reach it he must pass over his own
grave. The monks live on vegetable
diet alone. They rise ut 2 o'clock in
the morning, and whom they die they
are buried without coffius. There are
sixty of them in the monastery.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

THE managers OF the Homeopathic
Hospital at Boston have received an
anonymous donation Of $40 600.
Gabriel must be getting ready to blow
his horn, when such large sums OF
money ere given away secretly or
without ostentatiOn.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

ALMosT within sight Of the court
house at Monlicer., Fla, there are
three hundred ceres in watermelons
and ninety acres in potatoes, which
crops arc expected 10 re4i'ze s2o'ooo
for their producers.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20
The Minneapoiitau Sale Onists.
GN LICENSE CLIMBING HIGHER

HIGN LICENSE CLIMBING HIGHER.
MINNEAPOLIS, April 17.-The license
upon saloons has heretofore been
81 600. The city council last night
raised it to 81 500. The saloon men
are using every effort to induce Mayor
Ames to veto the ordinance.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

BARNUM had SO. 600 elephant kill
ed because he WAS vicious and likely to
injure patrons of the circus; but Hen
ry Bergh has written letter to the
Snowman condemning his cruelty.
Bergh believes that kindness would
have subdued the animal, though hot
pokers and other harsh means failed.
The first time Nj. Bersh meets mad
elephant he will learn that soft an
swers" have no effect upon it, and that
the only really safe place in the neigh
borhood is the top Of telegraph pole.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20
DETACHMENT oftse Salvation army
was committed d to Jail at Syracuse New
YORK for creating disturbance in the
,troota s.45- -E.-5l.E
streets.

rYr government is said to have been
befrauded out Of at least $40 1000 in the
a,a.tuction of the extension to the
nost-office at Boston. The charge is
being Investigated by the secretary of
the treasury.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

It takes twenty blows of hammer in
the hauds of wom IN to drive ten
penny nail three inches. She misses
The nail twice where she hiis it okce.
How many blows does she strike in
all, and how fsr can her voice be heard
when she strikes her thumb2-Free
Press.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

An old butcher way on; in Missouri.
With neuralgia, he suffered like fury.
St. Jacobs OIL banishei
The pain which sill vanished
And prevented coroneris jury.
A cranky cid man PANIED Blake,
Says 81. Jacobs Oh "lakss the cake"
He gave it one test. 83F
And says its the best,
Cure in the world for bsckache.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-04-20

JOSEPH BRADY was convicted i'll Dub
lin of tho murder of Lord frederick
Cavcndish and Mr.. Burke, and WAS seU-
fenced to be hanged May IA The in
formers. Carey, KLvanagh aud Far
rell, furnished the testimony, and the
testimony, and the only defense at
tempted WAS an alibi, in which rs the
verdict showed, the jury took no stock
whatever. Brady soleninly declares
h ;a ;nUpppprr