Daily Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1876-1884, 1883-05-18
Grave and Gay.


Mass, the "Ivayside, is advertised for
sale. t6t
A recent decision in an Illinois court
denies that snoring. however loud and
obnoxious, is valid ground for divorce.
Twenty.three Summer resorts have al
ready announced that President Arthur
will spend the entire season at their re-
spective places.
~ The difference between regret and re-
morse, is sorrow for opportunity neg
lected, but remorse is sorrow for oppor-
tunity improved.
"Oh, DEAR" exclaimed Edith to her
doll, II do wish you would sit still. |
never saw such an uneasy thing in my
life. Why don't you act like grown
people, and be still and stupid for a
while?''
They were lounging on the parlor
lounge, their arms entwined. ''Oh! my
Sophie DEAR" he sighed. ''you alone
know how to love" Eyes, Eben, that
is what they all tell me-" The thermom-
eter dropped to 0.
Elderly philanthropist, to small boy
who ia vainly striving to pull door-bell
above his reach-'Let nue. help you, my
little man. Pulls the belly. Small boy
Nov you had better run, or we'll
both get licking!"
A Harlem young man who took his
affianced to hear the divine singer, Nells-
son MARBLE her sweetest songs, asked the
young lady how she liked the singers
repertoire. every much, indeed; |
think it fits her beautifully" was the
surprising reply.
A large auction sale sale of quini1e
was held in New York on Friday last.
OF the foreign quinine, $1,000 ounces
sold at 81 1924 an ounce 5,764 sold at
Sl.3l, and 100 at Sl.40. One thousand
two hundred and fifty ounces of quinine
were sold at SLIGO to Sl.6l.
II can never, never express my love
for you" he said, in burst of emotion,
a. his arm frightened about her waist,
and she helped him out of the difficulty
in breath of girlish intuition by sug-
gesting that he could "send it all by mail
for three cents"
A novel mode OF advertising for wife
has been adopted by an inhabitant Of an
English provincial town. A photograph
of the gentleman is placed in the win
dow Of q shopkeeper, and underneath is
the following notice. Wanted, fe-
male companion to the above. Apply at
this Office"
There are some persons who cannot
take joke, but Foggy is not one of
them. One of the boys, acquainted
with Foggs frequent change OF abode,
asked him which he thought was the
cheaper, to move or to pay rent. Il
can't tell you, nay dear boy" replied
Fogg, 81 have always moved.
A married man in Rochester, accord
ing to the Post of that city, took a
young lady to the theatre one night, and
after the first act excused himself for a
moment, as he wanted to go out and
s'sse q man." He didn't come back.
Instead of seeing man, he saw a
woman. 1t was his wife waiting for him
at the door.
A company has been formed in St.
Louis for perfecting system of electric
railways. It is styled the adams Elec.
trio Company, and experts who were
formerly foremen for Edison and Brush
have been secured to perfect an invcn-
ton which the company contracts, aud
for which great things are claimed.
Among the treasures OF the museum
at Boulak, Egypt, is the mummy of
King Huni-en-raf, OF the third dynasty.
He is the oldest authenticated sample of
q dead man in existence. He dates back
$500 B. C. according to the scientists,
and, therefore, must be about 400 years
older than Adam, unless, indeed, there
be mistake in the record ~
A bachelor and spinster who had
been schoolmates in youth and We're
about the same age met in after years,
and the lady CHANGING to remark that
''men live great deal faster than
women" the bachelor replied: Eyes,
Maria; the last time we met we were
each "a years old; now I'm over 40, and
Ihear you haven reached 30 yet" They
never met again.
Vine culture ceases at various points
of altitude in various countries. In
Wurtemburg at 900 to 1900 feet; in
Switzerland and the Tyrol it reaches
l,700, owing to the heat-attraeting, mar
row valleys; on the southern slope of the
Alps, 1900 feet; in Sicily 5000 feet; in
Tsneriffe 5000 feet; on the Himalayas
10000 feet.
Exasperated in the night by cats, a
Dubuque man went out on his back
porch, swung heavy club to let fly at
them, caught it in the long tail of his
night shirt, knocked himself down the
steps, and broke his arm. On the fol-
lowing day man in the same city, while
absent-mindedly trimming tree, sawed
off the limb that he was sitting on, and
was half killed by the fall.
london nanar savs that nobodv ay