Connecticut western news., 1883-03-14
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS. WHAT WE FIND TO LAUGH OVER IN
 THEM. The Newer rArithmetic-Wanted tO be Posted -Cashiers-The New Student-An
 EditOr's Jokes, Etc., Etc.
A GIRL WITH BANGS.

duo SceS UIlo luttI tcI OA ttu ulSlA VI AoAo- head, she says to herself: "I am dan gerous they want to look out for me. " She thinks she is all right, but she IS constantly doing that which girl who wears her hair brushed back would not think of doing. The bang girl may be- long to church, and may try to put on pious look while the hymn is being read. But she will look out from behind these bangs, sideways at some meek and lowly young Christian who is trying to get his mind fixed on the hymn, and he will get his mind on her, and it will break him all up, and he won't know whether he IS singing GA Charge to Keep l Have or "She's a Daisy" The bang girl may place her bangs down on the back of the pew ahead of her during the morning prayer, and try to be good, but her cor set will be too tight, and as she hitches around to ease the pain one eye will rise like the morning sun over the back ot the pew, and that eye will catch the eye of a young man two seats to the right, who is trying to cover his face with one hand while he tries to keep the flies off the pomade on his hair with the other, and his interest in the prayer is knocked into cooked hat.
 The banging of girls hair changes the whole nature of the little wretch, and she becomes as gun that is loaded. You take picture of Evangeline " and bang her hair, and she would look as though she would "run at" people. How would Mrs. Van Cott, the female preacher, look with her hair banged? It is just the same with boys. You take a nice, pious Sunday school boy who can | repeat 300 verses of the New Testament, and cut his hair with a clipper, and he looks like Tug Wilson.
 THE NEW STUDENT.
 Some college "Sophs" could not ex- ist if they were not playing jokes or haz- ing the freshmen. A new student at Princeton college who wanted to gel some soiled clothes washed, was sent tc the house of Q grabbed and digniaed professor.
 "He is a first-class laundryman," said
 a soph, "but if he thinks you are {
 freshman he will try to impose some biz
 story on you. Don't humor him, ant
 don't let him give you any of his gulf.
 "He shall not do that, ," said the fresh
 man.
 Imagine the surprise of the old schola
 when freshly spread out all his shirts an'
 collars before him, and gave minute di
 rections as to pressing out the ruff1es an'
 polishing the pleats The little fellov
 treated all explanations as broad jest
 asked the old gentleman not to give hin
 any gulf, and frankly told him that h
 had heard him fully described by tn sophomore class. It is said that tn grave professor took the washing with
 half apology on the folly of trying to de
 ceive freshman of the wisdom of tn
 one before him, had them washed at
 neighboring laundry, returned them in , neat bundle to their owner, remarkin that he would not be able to do thel ) again, as he had gone out of the bus ness. The freshman discovered h 5 blunder three months later when he ws called for the first time to attend faculty meeting.
 T THE VALUE OF CASHIERS. An Ohio merchant who kept thrt 5 clerks, each one of whom made his ow change and had free access to hemone.. > drawers, was the other day asked. by > commercial traveller why he did n Il keep one man to receive all moneys: '' Cost too much, '" was the reply. j. "But are your clerks honest?" s "Perfectly honest"
 u u'a "Have you any objection to my tryil
 them ?"
 - Certainly not, go ahead in any w 70 n you wish"
 'e The traveller went away, but in abo ie three hours he returned and said in oi loud voice, so that all might hear: "When I was here this forenoon I p' you a bogus quarter by mistake. n case you find it in counting up to-nig] o- lay it aside and I will redeem it. ." 1 Then the traveller, accompanied :s the merchant, took a position where
 back door and alley could be kept
 view, and in less than ten minutes (
 came the head clerk and emptied hal
 full of silver on the head of barrel paved it over. The bogus quarter V no not there. He returned to the store, { aiSo al y, through the same programme. He ''' S. followed by the third, and after he w appeared, the merchant calmly observ lee ssI've been waiting thirteen years 'on Um trade to pick up, and rather think 'oo try the cashier system. md WANTED TO BE POSTED. eze He was about to take Woody ost avenue car, when he changed his m led and waited for man coming up lck street. He looked stern and solemn ble unrelenting, and there was ice in on- mouth as he replied:
 to "Yes, fine day enough. MT. Jo l 1t do you remember that you met me the day two years ago and asked for the the of $1O?"
 out "Two years ago-$10-asked to nan loan? Let's see, No, I do not rem cut Der, but do not wish to dispute ) he word."
 "Well, sir, you asked for loan."
 "And did get it? ,ing "Of course you did" 'ges "Is that so? We'll, if did it was y only time in my life, and I ought tt usi- member it. Did you want to lend