South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1883-09-21

Great goodness, Jcems, what's Lhat?'
Father Hubbard lhc old man replied.
You arc not goin TO wear them
sacks, nrc you 2
I've get TO be fashionable TO keep up
with you. Eve got as much rizht to
wear these meal bags as you have TO 90
in that bran saca.'
I'll take IL off,
'All right; or goes the father Hub.
bard aud turning away be added TO
himself: 'Only one way to beat wo.
man, and that is by agrcein' with her.
Ell 1T hGda't been fur the daddy Hub.
bard rde have been in mighty bad FIX
We copy the three following anecdotes
from harper's Magazine Cor October:
ALL ABOUT DINNER. Drawer
would not believe this story about an
alleged Bostonian If it had not heppen-
CT forty years ago o. tie hoepitab!e and
elegant mansion Of United States Dis~
trict Judge in Southern Indiana. The
Judge was blessed with wife Who was
one Of the most charming women Of her
time, and the bouss was famous in those
days for its fine dinners. On one occa.
sion. among the dozen guests, was q
boston man, whose chief recommended
tion seemed TO be his CITY cut clothes
who was always making himself disa-
Grocasle by COMPARISONS between the
cultured BOsJoDiau5 and the uncultured
Wo3IerneTs. lie was hardly seated al
the table, next to the engaging hostess,
when he poIled his forl. ct hurts Us to
write this abost Boston, into u strange.
looking dish near him, ana with look
Of curiosity exclaimed What have we
here =
In my old Kentucky home said the
lady, we used TO call it bonaclapper.'-
Git tcos queer dish FOR q dinner table
'Ah! said tho Boston man; 'wc, in
my old State of Maine home Uhank
God he was not horn in Boston, used
to feed that stuff TO the hogs.
Indeed quietly remarked the beau.
titul Mr9. il, we do here in In.
diane sometimes. H'W yoa be he,peR
to somc :"
A girl of four years. who said she
didn't remember much about her birth |
bat did know she was born in heaven
for she din 'mcmbcr Of walking in tue
golden streets, and ,iln't walk very well
because she was 50 little, not only shows
the best memory on record. bat evidence
of her heavenly origin in her calculation
of The subject e forgiveness. She had
been punished by her mother, and ccns
tided her troubles to her father whom lie
came home, who toll her that God is
not pleased with naughty little GIRLS
: But che argued, lilo likes little girls
who will forgive, don't lao ? And | am
ready TO forgive mamma
Tne awful prevalence or pic in this
country 3 illustrated by the romark sent
to the Drawer by grandfather, proud
of his grandchild of three years who is
visiting him. Euthroned in her high
chair, she waited at table for tho appear.
ancc Of tho dessert. The family pic was
duly set before grandma, and baby's
eyes were directed that way. when a
small pic made Tor her Majesty was
slipped before her. Equal to tho occa-
sion, her eyes dancing with deli5ht, she |
burst out wlth, 'Ob, auntie, I'm mamma
Of Ills pic !
y friend, visiting in q minister's fata-
lly Where tho parents were very strict |
III regard to The chiIdren's Sabbath dc |
pertinent, was coEGdentially informed !
by one Of the little girls that sho would |
like TO DC minister 'Why?' inqurea
the visitor, rather puzzled 90 understand |
what had given the child so sudden an
admiration for tho. calling. She quick
~ enlightened bin by The prompt reply
50 | could holcr on Sunday.
TIE HEAD SCENrEp.-Johnny Fiz-
z.etop bad boon over TO tho house Of
ucighbor, Col. Percy Ycrgor.
'Wol Johnny asked Major Fizzc-
ton. 'dia son have nice time over at
Colonel Yorgors?'
Oh, yes. bad q nice time, and. pa,
they arc going to have cabbage for din.
ncr.'
Haven't | told you fo;ty times that
you must never repeat what YOU have
heard at peoples houses?'
but, pa, didn't hear anything about
the cabbage, | smclied IL with my nose.
--7eros Syting,