davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
RRNirAIkER TuIS.

II you arc sick Hop Bitters will surely
aid Nature in making you well when all
else fails.
II you are costive or dyspeptic, or are
suffering from any other of the numerous
diseases OF the stomach or bowels, it is
your own fault If you remain i'll, for Hop
Btters are a sovereign remedy in all such
complaints.
Ifyou are wasting away with any dis
ease, stop tempting Death this moment,
and turn for cure to Hop Bitters.
If YOU are sick with that terrible sick
ness Nervousness, you will find "Balm
in Gilead" in the use of Hop Bitters.
II you are frequenter, or resident of a
miasmatic district, barricade your system
against the seourge of all countries-malarinl,
epidemic, bilious, and intermittent ieyers-Dy
the use OF Hop Bitters.
Ifyou have rough. pimply, or sallow skin,
bad br cath, pains and aches, and feel mlser
able generally. Hop Bitters will give you fair
skin, rich blood, and sweetest breath, health
and comfort.
In short they cure all diseases OF the stom-
ach, Bowels, Blood, Liver, Nerves. Kidneys,
Brighrs Disease. 600 will be paid for case
they will not cure or help.
That poor, bedridden, invalid wife, sister
mother, or daughter, can be made the picture
of health, by a few bottles of Hop Bitters, cost
ing but trihe. Win you let them suffer-
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17

THEY Born LIED.-Mr. Finalyson, town
clerk of Stirling, Scotland, was noted for
the marvellous in conversation. He was
ON q visit to the Earl of Monteith and
Airth, in the castle Of Toha, in the loch of
Monteith, and was about taking leave
when he was asked by the earl If he had
seen the sailing cherry tree.
"No," said Finalyson, what sort OF a
thing Is it?"
"It Is" replied the earl, a "a tree that
has grown out OF goose's mouth from
stone the bird had swallowed, and which
she bears about with her in her voyages
round the loch. 1t is now in full fruit, OF
the most exquisite flavor. Now, Finally
SON" he added, scan you with all your
powers of memory and fancy, match the
story of the cherry tree?"
"Perhaps can," said Finalyson, clear
ing his throat, and adding " When Oliver
Cromwell was at Airth one of the cannons
sent ball to Stirling, and lodged it Ia the
mouth of trumpet which one OF the troop
ers in the castle was In the act OF sound
ing"
"was the trumpeter killed. asked the
earl
"No, my lord" said Finalyson, " he
blew the ball back and killed the artillery
man who fred it,"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
MISPLACED CONFIDENCE.

On the Rock Island train coming into
the city, last night, young man with
freight bill and monte deck in his
pocket was trying to play his little game
on the sly, among the unsophisticated,
and ran against an old travelling man
who had as he afterwards said been sue
cessively book agent, sewing machine
agent, lightning rod man, safe agent, and
lately patent medicine man. Saunter-
tering through the train, the young man
took the seat next to the veteran agent
and began operations.
"Did you live in Kansas City, sir =
NO; thought I'd come and take a
look at it hear it's rattling place"
Going into business there =
Maybe, if think | can make it 60"
Il am going to open open a stock of
merchandise there myself, shipped from
New York." and the young man pro-
ceeded to divulge his plans in the most
confidential manner and in due time
produced his freight bill.
"Say, FRIEND" broke in the agent,
you re going to open a store, are you
Have you bought safe yet: No:
Well, just wait till pull down my grip
and show you plans Of our Nos. |, 2,
and safes doors no.ched inside-round
corners outside-cabinet work inside
made according to order time lock, out
side patent Yale lock inside. Close a
contract now for thirty four inch safe !;
$40 down, $40 a month until paid !;
Ss3 delivered in Kansas City; take
freight bill for security for first payment
and borrow from uncle, who is chief o:
police, to lend you tritie till you get
that remittance from the old man.
The young man squirmed uneaslly,
and manifested desire to get away,
but that veteran agent "smole" wicked
smile, and, laying hold of the young
mans lapel gently, continued: Don't
be in a hurry-beautiful car, elegant ac-
commodations. Don't say you don't
want that safe. | know you want it.
I'll send you one. I'll tell you what else
you want. Got lightning rod TO your
store: No: They say that lightning
is thicker'n clinch bugs in Kansas City.
Ladies have lightning rods on their hats.
A lightning rod sets off the building /;
shows the proprietor's solid man-got
forethought and caution. It'll help your
credit. Which will you take : Let
me show you samples. Can give
you copper, composition, or iron strap,
round link or spiral rods-,hrow in life
of Gui,eau-good to read while you're
waiting for trade-teach you how to
stand off the landlord, or raise the wind
in depressing times
In the mean time, the train had come
to depressing standstill on the bridge,
and the young man rose excitediy and
said he would see him again, but must
90 to his friends in the next car. The
veteran again shouted to him to hold on
a minute and he'd show him trick
with three cards, but then ne had fed
from the car and the train.-hdnsds
City journal.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17

trouble. The time ma had them cramp,
you remember, when you got your Gu.
cumbers first last season, pa came nea
fainting away, and ma said ever sine,
they had been married when anything
allied her, pa has had pains just the same
as she has, only he grunted more, anC
thought he was going to die. Gosh, if
was a man | wouldn't be sick every time
one of the neighbors had back ache
would you :"
"Well, you can't tell. When you
have been married twenty or thirty years
you will know a good deal more than
you do now. You think YOU know i.
all, now, and you are pretty intelligent,
for boy that has been brought up care
lessly, but there are things that will
astonish you. But what ails your pas
teeth. The hired girl was over here to
get some corn meal for cruel, and she says
your pa was cumming it, since he lost
his teeth.
40, about the teeth. That was too
bad. You see my chum has got dog
that is old, and his teeth have all come
out in front, and this morning borrow
ed pas teeth before he got up, to see il
we couldn't fix them in the dogs mouth,
50 he could eat better Pa says it is an
evidence of kind heart for a boy to be
good to dumb animals, but its a darn
mean dog that will go back on friend.
We tied the teeth in the dogs mouth
with a string that went around his upper
jaw, and you'd dide to see how funny
he looked when he lated. He looked
just like pa when he tries to smile so as
to get me to come up TO him 50 he can
lick me. The dog paved his mouth a
spell to get the teeth out, and then we
gave him bone with some meat on, and
he began to gnaw the bone, and the teeth
came OIL the plate, and he thought it was
pieces of the bone, and he swallowed the
teeth. Ny chum noticed it first, and he
said we had got to get in our work pref
ty quick to save the plates, and | think
we were in luck TO save them. | held
the dog, and my chum. who was better
acquainted with him, united the string
and got the gold plates out, but there
were only two teeth left, and the dog was
happy. He woggled his tail for more
teeth, but we hadn't any more. | am
going to give him mas teeth some day.
My chum says when dog gets an ap-
petite for anything You have got to keep
giving il to him, or he goes back on you.
But think my chum played dirt on me.
We sold the gold plates to jewelry man
and nay chum kept the money. | think
as long as | furnished the goods, he
ought to have given ne something be.
sides the experience, don't you: Alter
this | don't have no more partners, you
bet." All this time the boy was mark
ing on a piece OF paper and soon after ne
went out the grocery man noticed a crowd
outside, and on going out he found a
sign hanging up which read, "IFormy
Figs for Pdnies."
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
NRRyELFss MEN.

Is there under the face OF heaven a more
pitful sight than man who has lost nerve
power and rim? And why Is the sad spec
tacle so commou?, Because diseases OF
the kidneys, bladder, liver, and urinary
organs are so prevalent There Is really
no need OF II, either. Hunts Remedy, the
great kidney and liver medicine, Is posi-
tive cure for even the worst malidies Of
this class. Many a man who has lost
nerve, vigor, manhood, energy every
thing that makes life worth liviug-has
been quickly and fully restored by Hunts
Remedy
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17

THE GREAT REMEDY for Dyspepsia,
Headache, General Debility, BiIiousness,
and Constipation, is L. F." Atwood's
Bitters, trademark "L. F." This is a
Justly celebrated medicine. BE not mi-leI
by signature OF one Wood" nor OF one
- Moses +. Atwood"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17

ADAMsoN's BOTANIC BALsAM HAS GAINED
a reputation which places it in the front
ranks of curative agents. II has been in
the market but about ten years. It is now
recommended by the best physicians be-
cause it cures coughs and cclds every time.
Price 81 cents.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17

-" He who is ready to buy up his enc
mics will never want a supply OF them.
1t Is cheaper to buy true friend In Kid.
ney-Wort who will drive away those mis-
erable enemies-a torpid liver. constipa-
tion, diabetes, piles, diseased Kidneys and
bowels This remedy is now prepared In
liquid as well as in dry form.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17

Heard while goin. ont OF the Worcester
High School hall Mddle-aged lady TO a
gentleman" shall never forget an oc-
currence when graduated here. was
10 say In the sun my sister sits and spins,
and in my confusion said In the sun my
sister spits and sins.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17

The six-dollar-a-week young man uses
cream-laid initialled stationery when he
writes to his girl, but the merchant worth
a million finds half sheet OF common note
paper and blue envelope quite good
enough for his purpose.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
Wanted.
CAPILLARIS CURED Ne

CAPILLARis CURED Nc
Ofdsndrud aud humor. p. c. NEAL, VI. u.
IL cured me OF D,udrun, n. 7. =. GOULD.
Apotnt cary, cCrner MyrIl- and Congress streets
Its sal,s prove its popularity, GUPPf hlNS
MAN h ALDEN, Druggists.
IL j. bringing out good growth OF hair where
was bald Z. 4. PARSONS, druggist GEO. {.
BEARSE. =. II. HAMLlS GARDINER NJ. PAR
kER, J. y. LASpER.
know Of It's curing twelve Of nv customers OF
badness, dandfuf. &C, T. o. >OMtRS. Barber.
IL has cured a number OF nv customers Of the
above diseases, JOHN Y. VEL II. Barber.
| am highly pleased with Capillaris L sur
passes anything ever used for the ladies' toilet
take pleasur In recommending il, Mss VI. +.
ROGERS, HELEN ID. HIGGINS and many Others
have used your hair dressing, think IL has u!
the merits you claim for il on your circulars
JOHN c. PROCTER, ESQ.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17

ANSWER THIs.-Is there a person living
who ever saw A case OF ague, billousness,
nervousness, or neuralgia, or any disease
OF the stomach. liver, or kidneys that Hop
Bitters will not cure.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
FERTILIZERS.
BRADLEY'S
.SUPERPHOSPHATE
The ACKNOWLEDGED STANDARD
FERTILIZER!

Anv artificial fertilizer, to be both quick in its
effects AMI lasting IN ~ results, rifaf be go1d
SUPERPHOSPtIATE. for m this lies The iuuda-
mental prirciple of Commercial fertilizers, the
foundation Of their manufacture being the dis
covery oi the process Of manufacturing super
phosphate from bone and sulphu ic acid. The
great superiority OF BRADLkl's SUPSRPHOS-
PuATE over al other tertiixers O, cue 70 itP be
ing high grade sHpcrp kosPAlfc. conisining phos-
phoric sc ID nj rOgcn. potash snd sll oth-r me-
essAry elements Of plant tod, a. proportions aHd
from materials found by the practical experience
OF - years 10 DC the best 10 meet the requirements
OF az crops.
In distinction from special fertilizers, ad lptct
only for special crops, this Phosphate, containing
al the ingredients of plant food, IN the best form
and IN ssGcicEf quantities. l. PERtE 1 FER
TiLiKEK Iur uu crops aud - equally wei
adapted Tor use " IN or wi.hOat manute.
Bradley Phosphate has stood q longer, more
general and severn test than any other ierulire
in The United stats. aud has con e oIi ahead
fcsnfg fr0 gsdrs ia Slccss,ion the Bradley Per T.
txer COMPANY nos oeiug IN largest nsGHi.fGctur-
crs o. GrfiEcisi ferfiliSsrs U tie tcortd.
All articles manufactured ar sold by
them are guaranteed 10 be "a y tn she stan
dsrd advertised, Tney employ In their
laboratory fir-t-cisSs chsmtsts, who are
constantly HnslyIiug th,tr goods, and
none are sent to market until positively
known TO b, up To the required standard.
Clll and get a bCok, giving the testimony OF
many reliable farmers, 'ihrOueh the state as
10 ID s. value, lrl ~ actual tItAl Of 10.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17

Carey, the informer, has been refused
permission TO read the newspapers. The
authorities thought he might come across
something that would hurt his feelings.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
LADIES TOXIC. "

THE GREAT FEMALE REMEDY is prepared
by the IFOmea's Medical Institute of BaFt-
10, " l., and Is their fIvorite prescription
for ladies' who are suffering from any weak
ness or complaints common TO the sex. II
is sold by druggists at sl.O0 per bottle.
Ladies can obtain advice FREE Send stamp
for names Of those who have been CURED.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17

The New Orleans Picayune says that
"thc man who pats by money for rainy
day can 90 out and buy an umbrella AMI 4
gum coat when the day comes
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17

The Cleveland Herald believes that the
next great genius OF this country will be
womin. She will probably in'elt two.
handed Il 't-iron.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17

New York boasts OF Icing the first t.
introduce the English sparrow. The Eng
lish sparrer also finds the metropolis the
most congenial of American cities.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17

The demand for napkin rings made of
wood grown upon Walter SCOTS
home, Abbotsford, is proving great Grain
upon the forests OF Maine.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
Did you read how Josiah Pitkin of Chei.
sea, VT, was cured Of terrible sore leg,
by Hoods Sarsaparilla, the blood purifier,

An old captain on the lakes used to be
called "Sinbad the Sailor" until he lost
vessel; now they name him "Slilbad, the
Sinner"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
SKINNY MRN.

SKINNY MEN.
"Wells' Health Reuewer" restores health
and vigor. cures Dyspepsia, Impotence,
Sexual Debility. 81.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
A how with a ton tried 10 spin il.

A boy with top tried 10 spin II,
But his hand got thorn right in it,
The sport didn't spoil,
For st. Jacobs Oil,
Cured his hurt Is less than a mint.
A red-haired clerk in Savannah,
Slipped on a piece OF banana,
Great pain he endured,
But St. Jacobs Oil cured,
He now goes dancing with Hannah.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17

1t is related of a man in Dakota town
that the postmaster several times Informed
him that there was letter at the office for
him. Finally he asked: =" From what STATE
did the letter come!' "Ohio, replied the
postmaster. "Send 1t TO the dead letter
office; that letter contains my grocery bill.
Confound that grocery nan, he has dis
covered my location again"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
DOCTOR YOURSELF

And save money, and perhaps your life,
send two Scent stamps TO pay postage A.
p. Ordway & Co, Boston, Mass, and re-
ceve A copy of DR.. ksufmann's great med
ical work, 100 pages, elegant colored
plates.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
"Conqueror of all Lifc's Woes"
MRS. A. W. HowLASp, Of Providence, r. l.,

MRS. A. W. Rowland, Of Providence, r. l.,
says
.Deeming II my duty tn suffering humanity to
inform all who may he afflicted as have been,
OF the safe and sure Remedy which. by the bless
ing Of a kind Providence, has restored mo to
health with deep gratitude wish To aekno"l-
edge the great benefits that have received from
the use Of the most valuable medicine that
have ever seen. During the past three years
have been afflicted with Kidney disease, accom-
panied by the severe aches intense pains, weak
ness, and prostration attending this dreadful
disesse tried many kinds II medicines, ir-
cludus physicians prescriptions, without obtain
ing permanent r,liet
a Few weeks ago a friend persuaded me to
try Hunts Remedy AMI. after using only half
bottle. was relieved Of the severe pains in my
back, and continued the use oi the ituledl uhNi
l am well again ani now can take long walks
without being tired. and have an excellent ap-
petite, sleep well. and am riL Of all those aches
and pains from which suffered SO long. most
cheerfully recommend Hunts Remedy as q safe
and reliable cure for Kidney disease aud IL is tho
only medicine have ever found that does exactly
what it is advertised 10 DO.
Praise the bridge that carries You over
safely and that To many an ailing one has been
Hunts Remedy. a bridge which has taken them
from what seemed fatal sickness TO blooming
health
I'VE are all strong enough to endure the mis-
fortunes Of others. Hu;, 81 their misfortune Is
sickness it costs nothing to tell them Of the great
medicine Hunts Remedy"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
"That Extreme Tired Feeling"

"The first bottle has done my daughter
great deal of good; her food does not dis
tress her now, nor does she suffer from thar
ertreme tired feeling which she did before
taking HOODS SARsAPARILLA."
Sold by all druggists. Price 81 a bottle or
six bottles for IS. Prepared by c. j. HOOD
g. CO., Apothecaries, Lowell. Mass.
Hoods Tooth PoWder, 0alv IS Cents,
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
DIPHT H ERIA!

TINE PROSTRATION which follows
i Diphtheria, and the persistency with
which 1t clIngs to the patient, are well
known TO all who have had any experience
with this terrible disease.
The following letter shows how the re.
stOriug and invigorating properties Of
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
Hoods
SarsaparM

eradicates the poisoned matter from II,
bringing to the conyalescent the color, life
and vIgor Of robust health.
LOWELL, MASS.
MEssRs. c. I. HOOP & Co.: Gentlemen
My little girl had the diphtheria last April.
The disease left her very weak, blood poor,
with 10 appetite. and she could not seem 10
rally from Its effects. HOODS SARsAPARIL-
IA was recommended by n neighbor. After
she had been taking it a few days We noticed
change for the better she began TO eat
with relish. II seemed 10 take out the
poison the disease had left in her blood, the
change being very noticeable IN her faee;
She took 1t two months and fully regained
her health, much TO our delight. we now
recommend HOODS SARsAPARILLA with .
great deal of pleasure. Very truly yours,
j. X. SMITH,
10 Butterfeid Street
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17


-..i.i Sotices-23 PEI ceut. aidiuou~''
FEonArE SorIcEs
a.. o., Notice on Real Estate, 80
O-Isrs on Wills, lh0
. lI..A"' .'.r,,Sr'' and Executors Notices, iSV
Sonus .ssIoncrs' Notices .
-, -r,r,us made With Local Aiver'isers,Snd
lrrrtlsements continued ans eonslnes ~
o. o. M i,-pe: also, Cor those occupying e>'en'
sve space. - L. -. Drxos,RI
-, h, made al the following Wen 's'A'''s''N~
Sfre,'JT s, e. R,wcuS Co &c spruce 81, New orn'
- go a., l,i FULTON So, New ots = II ~
pA- 'i - k,,x Nsv York, :. VI. Iet.shkni
- - l.ark Row, Ncw logS' l. =. -. < So -
a a - N..... :. NJ. Ptueugiil 20 lv $50 -
p,.,.- V... Horace pOdd, - .,i''l-,In =,
BB',,r Vt.s. y ". Aver son, fsi'aIe, llIs
~ 4. Coos 4 Co, Chicago, il-' = L. N'''s'
rr,.-sat ST.. E'-tou, Mas.
sUBSCEIHGEs
..,f hv cumming The co!ored sup A.l.e1yu
-. .,sr. the Amount due, an'' th"-e = p"
~ rt.fa.c.vc- ot tnc aoN Ai'etu f-., 'i'' ,
- @...f IL. tv Ia. D.. GE n.,-t 20 81. ''.''5-
-, - on tHs sDg. means 'tc paper 10 Az
V-e5 money is sent, Gaze shaaA oe 49, ,'," I.
-. me .lip aaL % The mouey .e no' e'S'l''Se
AN tour weeks We shon-- oe a'''''N- " "
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
VOLUME so.
Gbe0tfurN 9tmotrat
Is
o,p1lSHEp EVERY TUESDAf \
GEO. IL. WATKINS.
EDITOR and Proprietor.

90 per Year.
...tl .trictlv tn aivance, y teduetl"n ol Sa'
pan -'',' fe made. II paid within SIX mon,ns, mont
icioctiOn Of tyen,i,y.f1y,e, ~, 49,, e.@'5 ma Of ,pe
vear Two dollars vii be charSeo'
single Copies ave cents.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17

overcome II, and
how by yitaliz-
ing and enrich
ing the blood It
naiifraliIaa and
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-04-17
R,tes of Advertising.
LEGAL NOTICES.

For 'h' ,.'.t -,Nsclucnt week, 3 ccuts.
N,,,.e.-25 per ceut. additional.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1883-05-17

A POSTMASTER and postotice clerk
should never make a mistake, but in
distributing the mail often the simi-
larity of names or the close proximity
Of boxes, causes letter to be deliver
ed to the wrong person. This is no
excuse for opening it, nor is the frivo-
lous reason that maybe it was intended
for them, good one. Therefore per-
SOILS who receive, by mistake or other
wise, letters not intended for them,
should take second thought before
opening them, and see section l ,224 of
the postal laws and regulations, where
in is prescribed that the penalty for
opening, by any person, of letter re-
ceived from the postofice, and not ad-
dressed to such person, but intended
for another, to be a fine of not over
5000, or imprisonment at hard labor
for not more than one year or both.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1883-05-17

The PLAIN; Dealer says it may inter-
est the public to know, and at the
same time show how big humbug
this civil service reform is, that only
two offices IN the State of Ohio will
come under the workings of the civil
service reform law, namely the post
Offices of Cleveland and Cincinnati
The law only applies to Offices where
more than fifty employees are employ
ed, the postofices Of the two cities
named are the only ones falling within
this class. In all the others the clerks
and employees will be run in by the
statesmen in the old way. Only 49,
900 out of 100000 oficeholders in the
United States are affected by the civil
service reform law.