The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-03
ALL SORTS.
Hungary complains Of q famine.
IL 1:..a- o.<.lt Ia,.k<.t. .1s.s,l

A good way to raise the wind is by
means of draft.
Train dog to skate and You d only
| make slip pup of it.
Figures may not lie but some accounts
will not stand examination.
Murder will out. That, we suppose
is because blood will tell
If peacock had the power Of speech
what tale he could unfolai
Where there is no, servant girl in the
house the plumber loses no time.
| The longer man lives the mora ha
knows-that he don't know much
| See the cenquering zero comes; heat
| the soapstone, pound your thumbs.
A man in Plattsburg, n. T., is named
Constant Agony. He is 6 married man.
It is estimated that next year the
| Spanish surplus will be 125, 600. 900
pesetas.
When so.called silk burns we'll there's
cotton in it. Real silk shoulders into
an ash.
OF two evils choose the least, but of
| two goods take both, if you can get
| them.
The diversions of some men consist IN
diyerting public moneys to wrong pur-
| poses.
However slangy our rowdies may be
they never ask policeman to give Us
arrest.
| A young man msy be very rich stu
| dent and at the same time a very poor
scholar.
Historical research depelopes the fact
that Christopher Columbus was an Ohio
| man.
Make home pleasant and you drive
a nail into the coffin of wretchedness
every day.
| Hospitals are expensive structures;
one can't be built without having sick
stories to it.
| Personal item: A western editor speaks
of Herbert Spencer as Thinker from
Thinkville."
In the hands of small boy entirely
fendish. the pin is mightier than tho
swear it causes.
4 What poem does barking your shin ra
mind you Of? Craze Il g, of course
Bos. Com. Bulletin.
When the government wants build
ing site it takes sight Of money to secure
it.-N. O. Picayune.
A New Jersey man has patented stovs
that expIodes at 10 o'clock at night. He
has four daughters.
Eyes, y said the actor to his brother
Thespian, who had sworn of, you'll
stick; you always doF'
When the shoemaker opened boil
with his awl, he remarked to his wife,
"All's well that ends swell
| nra ne WaIogsu crvo - - 1No ., al
man. Probably the Prince wishes his
son to become prime minister.
Il A New York man declined challenge
to duel, because he didn't want TO be
seen in company with the challenger.
, Contentment is better than riches, and
bread is better than butter, but most
) persons prefer to take them both to-
| | gether.
Il The ballad of the Last Hare, is the
name of new book. It should have q
sequel-sThe Ballad of the Hair Re-
storer."
Fluid extract of elephant foot is one
of the new drugs. and the first counter
!, felt of it will probably come from Chi
cago.
If landlords expect patronage they
!, must stop talking about "fire-proof'
|, hotels. People are getting afraid OF
them.
0 Henry Ward Beecher doesn't believe
/ in corners, but he has not SO far lapsed
: from Orthodoxy as.to give up his belief
: in futures.
j. A ful1-grown ostrich is worth $500.
With persons of limited means the canary
j. will still continue to be the fayorite
: feathered pet.
Non compos: 4 see that Smith is put
in nomination. Is he non partisan?''
!, "No, not exactly; think they call him
non compos.
For every 130 human beings In Switz-
erland there is O saloon. This is the first
intimation that Switzerland was settled
n by Kentuckians.
d They Pittsburgh glass houses are run.
ming full time, preparing to supply the
: coming demand for diamond pins from
# the seaside hotel clerks.
2 After the clergyman had united q
:, happy pair not long age, an awful silence
y ensued, which was broken by an i'm.
2 patient youth exclainaing, Don't ba SC
unspeakably happy"
o Cambridge correspondent points oni
that, in foot note in Leland's ssGip-
SaOos AA0oAAh6 4o odkSA VI O9 u WOI0 u
i gypsy origin, mashava meaning fascina
> ton by the eye. or taking in.
q In Julia's eyes: ST live in Julia't
70 eyes" said an affected dandy in Cole
Ie mans hearing. 81 don't wonder ssat IL.
since observed that she had sty II
n them when saw her last. !"
The Wheeling Register assures as fha
there Is no valid reason why mar
rt should not live hundred years. " True
N enough. It is the invalid reason which
Y, reduce the longevity.
Slightly mixed: Teacher And wha
)" was the reply when Cambronne wa
:. called upon to surrender" Boy lsllght
- ~ mixed -.'The old blackguard dies
n but never snrrsndersl" "-Bos. Trans.
's s. If Oscar Wilde's brother contemplate
8 coming to this country, says the Oi
~ =, City Blizzard, we hope he will not labol
lIs ls under any misrepresentation. The splrl'
- ~ of '76 is not dead-it merely sleepefh
~ There is a limit to our forbeararce.
A little three year-old girl, while her
nd mother was trying to get her to sleep,
ne became interested in some ontside noise.
81 She was told that il was caused by =
sa cricket. when she eagerly observed
he ssMamma, think it onght to be oiled S
l--Exchange.