Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-10-12
SATURDAY SMILES.

Emerson said, "There is always room for q
man of force" He had probably met Sullivan
in crowd.-The Judge
LET us be thankful" calculates the Indian
apolis Sentinel, that Hayes or Lew Wallace, or
some other of the latter-day saints, did not Jolt
George Washington of the popular postage
stamp of the day."
$50 your husband is a critic? Now tell me,
does ne always write Just what he thinks about
play?" "Oh. dear, no! 1t wouldn't do. His
paper goes into the best families, and profanity
is out of the question. boston Transcript
Old Mrs. Pinaphor hopes that no more lives
will be sacrificed in the hunt for the north pole
until some persons go out there and ascertain
whether such pole really exists.-Norristo,cn
Herald
A Philadelphia lawyer, too proud to allow
MS friends to suppose that he practises in the
divorce courts, advertises "Mistit marriages a
speciality"
Neighborly consideration is so rare that it is
pleasant to be able to record any instance of it.
Mr.. Tantivvy recently announced to friend
residing on the opposite side of the street that
it was his intention to move out into the
country. "But l thought you much preferred
city life?" 80 do" returned Mr.. Tantivvy;
''but have boy who is going to take lessons
on the accordion next month. "-BrOoklyn Eagle.
Who says it is unhealthy to sleep in feathers?
Look at the spring chicken and see how tough
he is.
The ice cream season is over and portage re-
duccd one third.-Lynn Bee.
'Tm glad Billy had the sense to marry a
settled old maid," said Grandma Winkam at
the wedding. "(ials is hity-tity and widders is
kinder overrulin' and upsettin.' Old maids is
kinder thankful and willing to please
Christian at Work.
"Aunty, vat makes the little baby cry so? Do
it want it's mudder2" Eyes, dear, and it's fodder,
tool"
There is father in Pittsburg mean enough to
call his daughter Misery, because she loves
company.-Pntsburg Telegraph.
A guileless girl wrote to her adorer thus:
Don't come to see me any more just yet,
John, for father has been having his boots half
soled and two rows of nails around the toes"
"Dear Louise, don't let the men come too
near to you when counting" "Oh. no, dear ma.
When Charles is here we have q chair between
u.s." Mother thinksthe answer is rather ambigu-
Gus.
A Milwaukee belle attending theater in New
York city recently complained in one of the
scenes that the light was too dim tO'see the act
ing properly. won't you try this glass?"
asked her escort, handing her his lorgnet.
with her handkerchief she placed it to her lips,
took long pull, and then handed 1t back in
great disgust. saying; ''Why, there amt q drop
in it!"-Chicago Herald
Josie was accused by her sister Of telling
falsehood. She at first denied, but afterward
did lie; everybody lies but God and George
Washington" This same little girl was asked
If she said her prayers. She replied, ''N0; I
have to take Kennedy's medicine, and that's
enough without saying my prayers"
A schoolbOy remarks that when his father I'M
dertakes to ''show him what is what" he only
finds out which is switch.
It rather Disguised q Vermont man who went
20 neighbours barn to steal cow to find when
he got theanimal home that it was his own COW,
which his neighbor had stolen earlier In the
night. He says the neighbor id q COMPOUNDED
thief.
'sDo you ever gambler" she asked. as they set
together, her hand in his. He replied. mo.
but If wanted to now would be my time"
Chow so?' because hold a beautiful hand"
The engagement is ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Journal.
The polecat is supposed to have been the orr
ginal 'slittle one for ent."-Rochear Er-
press.
A dentists appearances apt to deceive one.
The more he looks down in the mouth the bet
! ter he Philadelphia Ca1e