davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-06-29

A boy in a history class in school was try
ing to recite about Napoleon's troops ascend
ing the hill in platoons and said, They
marched up the hill, pantheon after panta-
Loom"
"And so you love June better than any
other month 7" she said gazing at the young
farmer from the blue abysses of her soft
dreamy eyes" beautiful, leafy June, with its
roses and song birds and its fragrance laden
zephyrs?" "Yes" he replied, nonchalantly;
'its the best month to weau calves"
"What is promised to the righteous9" ask
ed mild ,amiable Sunday school teacher OF a
small child at the far end of her class.
Eternal bliss" quickly responded the child.
and amiable "And now tell me what is
promised to the wicked?" Eternal blister,
ma'am, was the prompt reply. The teacher
pronounced it theologically correct, but Pc
culiarly expressed. 49, Christian Register.
Il does not seem possible but it is histori-
cally true, that the Puritans in England gave
a child the name 1T Christ -had-not died-for
thee-thou had st been damned Barebones.
He lived under the inhiction, and we believe
became a member of Parliament, and for con-
venience all the words of his Christian name
were dropped but the last, and he was called
Damned Barebones" The name of the
IhLleE WAS IIhlbb-OOh A9hAbbOhoos AAS
names may still be found on the official lists
in England.
The directors of Chicago bank found
their teller's account balanced to a cent. He
was hustled off to an insane asylum. .-ScIen-
tife Times.
When a Scotchman answers a question he
settles the matter in dispute once for all. On
a certain occasion the question was asked ;
"Why was Mary Queen of Scots born at Lin
| lithgow ?" Sandy Kerr promptly answered :
Because her mither was staying there, sir,
and there actually seemed to be nothing more
| TO say on the subject
A Virginia woman has named her baby Ma
hone, because its alleged father repudates it.
-GeOrgia Major.
The following is the text of the revised UNI
brella Irritation To leave your umbrella IN the
hall means 81 don't want it any more" ID
purchase an umbrella means II am mol
smart, but honest" To trail your umbrella
on the sidewalk means that the man behind
you thirsts for your blood To lend an UNI
brella indicates 81 am fool" To put cot
ton umbrella by the side of a silk one meanI
Exchange is no robbery" To urge trlenc
to take an umbrella saying "Oh, do take It
I'd much rather you would than not" signi
fies that you are lying. To return an umbrel
la means-never mind what 1t means. NJ
one ever does that.
"How old are you, Jaoobi ?" asked the doot
or of an aged Austin Israelite, whom he ha'
been called to attend in a professional capac
ity. and who is a broker whose mind runs OI
the Auctuation of the market. II wash q
years DID," was the reply "You may live Il
be so years of age" 81 wash afraid not
AIishter Doctor, replied Jacob. 'Vy should
the Lord want TO dake me at 80, ven he can
dake me now al 722'-IeTas SJangS
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-06-29
A WouderfuI Gave.

About a mile from the market town of
Adelsburg in Austria, and three miles from
Tria te, is to be seen the most wonderful cav
ern in Europe, and possibly in the world,
called the Adelsburg cave, and which has
been explored for a length of nearly 5000
yards, as far as a subterranean lake. This
cavern consists of several grottoes, from GO
to 20 feet high. The interior resounds with
the noise of water, as little river runs COM
pletely through it, forming many cascades on
its way, and being finally lost to view in q
fssure. This river continues its subterranean
course for about eight miles, and after time
it disappears into the cavern of Laase,
whence it emerges as a navigable river called
the Laibach. The entrance to the cave of
Adelsburg is illuminated by hundreds of can
dies, and transparent curtain composed of
large sheets of crystallizsd limestone is seen
hanging from the roof The vast hall or
ball room is about $50 yards from the en-
trance. 1t is about 500 feet long and 100 feet
high, and is adorned with transparent stalac-
tites of every kind of fantastic shape and
form. Until the year 1919 this ballroom was
the only part known; but at this date the
wall of stalagmte was broken through and a
series of chambers exposed to view, possess
ing cathedral. like appearance, from the sta
lacttes in many instances forming vast col
umns by meeting the stalagmites below. In
the Adelsburg cavern numerous specimens
are found of the proteus, kind of lizard
that dwells in the bottom of the cavern lakes.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-06-29

Mental labor is not hostile to health and
life. But l am more than ever convinced
that man who lives by his brain is of all
men bound to avoid stimulating his brain.
In this climate, to stimulate the brain by al
cohol and tobacco is only slow kind of sui
eide. Even the most modest use of the
mildest wine is not without danger, because
the peculiar exhaustion caused by severe men
tai labor is a constant and urgent temptation
to increase the quantity and strength of the
potation. l would say to every young man
in the United States, if 1 could reach him:
If you mean to attain one of the prizes of
your profession, and live a cheerful life to
the age of so, throw away your dirty old pipe,
put your cigars in the stove, never buy an
other, become an absolute teetotaler, take
your dinner in the middle of the day, and rest
one day in seven. flames Parton
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-06-29

IAN Octogenarian, writing to the London
Standard, says that he wishes that all those
who question the utility of vaccina.ion-nay,
that are not firmly impressed with its mar
velous beneft-could, without losing the ad-
vantages Of these later times, become pos
sessed of the memories Of his distant youth.
81 think, he writes, II may safely say that
for every person l now meet with scanned or
pitted face, / then met a hundred, many
grievously disfgured and not few blind.
This was bad enough, though even then
thanks partly to smallpox inoculation and
moro lately to the vaccine protection, suffer
ers were at least in very decided minority ;
but have heard my mother say that in her
early days marks of smallpox were 30 prev
alent that it was common to distinguish one
free from them as a smooth-faced person
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-06-29

The July number of st. Nicholas contains timely
aud interesting article which, in addition to fully
illustrated account Of epresent bridge beW New
York and Brooklyn, pictures bridge which one
Thomas Pope proposed for the East river in 1911, Mr.,
Pope published book (now very rarel in advocacy of
his plan and the st. Nicholas illustration is reprint
of the engraving which formed the trontispiece OF
that volume. II Is accompanied by some reminis-
cences of Mr. Pope contributed by Gen. Thos. g. Cum
ming one Of New York's oldest ctizenf, who states
among other things that MIR. Pope made large mod
el of his bridge which set up "n the green helda
Just above Canal street, he says that one account
cribes the destruction Of this model TO stroke OF
LIGHTNING aud moreover that this disaster is said tC
have befallen It on the very afternoon when It was "a
have been publicly tested in the presence Of Gov De
Witt Clinton and other distinguished gentlemen
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-06-29

The recent death of the Rev. Charles T..
Brooks, of Newport, r. l., for 30 years pas
tor of the Unitarian church in that city, re-
calls little snecdote about him. At tea
party given by a member of the Rev. DR..
Thayet's church a few years ago, a lady play
fully demonstrated with DR.. Thayer for his
intimacy with the Unitarian divine. 1T is
true" said DR.. Thayer THAT MIR. Brooks and
are very good friends, and that / am really
very fond of him. He is a most delightful
companion, and we often 60 fishing together.
To-day, however, while we were ON the fish
ing ground, he shocked me by little exhibit
ton of profanity" Profanity" exclaimed
the orthodox sister, ''you don't really mean
that Mr.. Brooks is profanef" II must con-
fess that he was somewhat so to-day" said
good DIR. Thayer. "You see it happened
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-06-29

A hen having laid an egg set up such a
cacklo that presently the whole barnyard was
in confusion and the farmer came running
out TO SEQ what was going on. "What is it y
he demanded, as the hen cackled louder than
ever. why, l have laid an egg" IAN egg Z
Why single egg is only worth two cents at
the present market price" Yes, l know
but if didn't do two shllings' worth of cack-
ling over every two cents worth of egg the
world would soon forget me- Moral ;
Send a bundle OF old clothes to an Orphan
Asylum and then interview reporter.-De.
trait FRA Press
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-06-29
NO. 26.

thus: We wero at anchor with our lines out,
Brother Brooks, the skipper aud l, when, af-
ter some tedious waiting, the skipper cried
out; 4 had d-n good bite then; where
upon my Brother Brooks quickly responded !.
80 did IT,"
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-06-29
BROWN N'SM
IR 0 n
BITTERS.
THE BEST TONIC.
Cures Completely Dyspepsia,
Indigestion. Malaria, Liver and
hlIney Complaints. Druggists
ana PhysiciRus endorse it.
Use only Browns Iron Bitter, made by
brown Chemical Co, Baltimore. Crossed
Ied lines and trade mark on wrapper
Home Items.
--"All your own fault
II you remain sick when you can
Get hpp bitiprE that never EItI

--"All your own fault
II you remain sick when you can
Get hop bitters that neyer-FdH.
The weakest woman, smallest child and sickcst in
valid hop bitters with safety and great good.
old men tottering around from rheumatism, kid
ney trouble or any weakness, will feel almost new by
using hop bitters.
My wife and daughter made healthy by the
use of hop bitters and recommend them to my peo-
pe.-Methodist Clergyman.
Ask any good doctor II hop
Bitters are not the best family medicine
On earth.
-Malarial fever, ague and biliousness will leave
every neighborhood as soon as hop bitters arrive.
-"My mother drove the paralysis and neuralgia all
out of her system with hop bitters."-[Ed. 0swego
Sun,
Keep the kidneys healthy with hop bitters and
you need not fear sickness.
-Ioe=water is rendered harmless and more refresh
ing and revying with hop bitters in each draught
The yigor of youth for the aged and inarm in hop
bitters.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-06-29

al HAVE used Hunts Remedy for Kidney
troubles, and recommended it 10 others, and
always found 1t to act like n charm
JOHN CHAMBERS
723 Carson Street Pittsburg Penn
"Gratitudc is the memory Of the heart" How
many heart memories cluster around Hunts
Remedy in grateful households where it has
wrought its magic curci
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-01-05
Ni'" lied HELCHFOR.S

49,. Pratt =, near South.
-t-i' y BALTIMORE. Nh
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-01-05

VIM. G.. OsroodNv, the well known 81
manufacturer Of Buffalo. Philadelphia, Pie
hufgh, Newark, and Atlanta Ga, sAys:
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-01-05
Death Of Rec. n r. u,..,

We announce with n,e.;cpe. sor-
~ rSS :, "a" e, Heath Of Rev b r WisetS J.
VI wn ~. l Thomas Church. Charei Point,
which occurred at $50 On G Tna.day lie
was m in Swifhorl.a'i iSJi and
S Sa' y nls O2nd year H. entered the
,g,s W " Jesuiis October itb. 1888;
m nil ;'s' VOWS IN 1851 Hi. career as a
I Iin s was rather ram, n one.
nc auu number Of fellow ,b.ol te.cal
tsI- were driven to MI. country in
snr.,I ~ o the Revolutionary war that
~, -. o'er nearly all Of Elrope llly-
in s S completed his course of philosophy
,hoo I,".1efIand he began N, study IF
ISL - az Georgetown College ~
iot,' and was ordained L Isl. AMI
ooiIa as minister for one wear at that
g., r"Hege His first mission ea. at St
homas where he died r,em thence
, ~ w" W. ;. removed to Boston. and
ton a' y ~ AlIoysus Church Washing
; ;,,'' ana acted at The same ,us "a, Pres
in nc', y - oonz'ga College. From Wash
a as'% Gun. ne was removed to White Marsh,
St Thomas wv" W us hF'' III ''s'0''
:. lie was the FIRST priest called on to
act act as chaplain to Che Northern army
luz i; 'ne late war, ana wl, the last
b b's, a.s;. D During bi, service, d, such,
~ assisted Father WtIter IN aimini,-
$500 a,.s '"g last sacrimcuts 70 Nr,. Sur
n.;,L ana became intimately acquainted
WIN " many Of the most cmi1 mt general,
I / oo'a SIDES by whom hc wa, greatly
c''''en' Among his e>.ocilt.s al
,l .gn were the Rev b McGuire,
known as the golden tongcd MISSIONARY
o"Sep,. b'xio, brother Of Gen Bixio, /
u 'tallan tame, +. Tougiorg and Tor
quS'as ArmllIini celebrated philosophers
a''u 'aeolo2'ans. He leave, five broth
e'S one OF whom served with distinction
as captain IN the papal army during the
wal against Victor Emanuel, and one .
sister, all in Europe n. has one .
nephew the only relative in Mi, country
located in Washington. His funeral .
took place at st. Thomas Yesterday. .
Hes $ X II Elelen, B. L Ili.don.
j: I 5. Tennison, N Stone,trect and
ms nephew before mentioned, acted a.
Pall bearers. The exercises at the
church we're low mass and rc,ciation
OF the office for the dead \ large
crowd attended the burial service.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-01-05
GARDENERS HOTEL

INlE undersigned takes pleasure in an
nouncng to his friends ami the genera
public, Hat his new aud commodinuS Hotel
situated ut Waldorf, on the b. Il r. X. r..
having just been handsomely completed and
| comfortably furnished, is now open for the
reception and entertainment Of guests
lie Will, at all times, be- prepared to furnish
every accommodation usually afforded by i
first class hotel His bar will always he found
supplicd with liquors and cigars Of the best
quality. In addition to the usual stable &c
commodations, teams for hire, will be kept on
hand for the use of travellers.
Shaving aud lnlr dressing will be perform
ed by skillul barber
He cordially invites the patronage Of tho
public, with the assurance that no effort will
be spared to promote the comfort, pleasure
and convenience Of his guests
+. X. GARDINER,
feb 3-u Proprietor.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-01-05
TsefHI Hints.

". clip the following from an eX
chang -, cut fingers with rapility wrap
IN cloth saturated with alum
wa rh. following for BLACK eye is
nc hr De- FGors Hcalh Monthly
S Ma;l,an dry starch with cold water and
- no,S aver the closed eye; covered vi h
p'r nee Of coarse brown paper soaked y
w',A w. sare cure for chappcd hands is
.,n'e,Linc greatly to be desired Try
s%;". Wet your hands in warm water.
. .n"n rub them all over with Indian
inc" l. do this twice, then in the water
n'oa urea "a wash off the meal put a teaspoon
S SsI ,ure glyccrine. fits not pure
i will irritate the skin
T"r Group administer tcaspoonfal o
,.ana alum water; repeat the dos'
S".ry fifteen minutes until free vomiting
" 49,. Put the feet and llnbs in ho
o .,,.r and then wrap up in flannel; place
w. Tho chest poultlee of oat inca
y" .;ntled with mustard Beware d
Irncbts As the attack depart, al
user a dose of uaguesia rhublrb o
Tas or,il. When coiIdre I rs liable t
crnup. always keep the alum water soiu
ton ready ON the washS'and
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-01-05
Ornhnns, Conrt.

The Orphans Court was in s>ion
Tuesday, Judges George = Jenkins,
w. T. w Rowe and Il $ Cory on
the bench Mrs Mary A Elcl,n exc
cutrix Of y. J. Miles, deceased, sub
mtted a first and final account.
An ordcg was passed empowering VI
VI TIayillud administrator Of WIN.
Akin deceased, to make sale Of all the
personal property. of saii deceased e.
Terms all sums uuder so cash all sums
over that amount, credit Of months
to hegiven.
An order was passed directing James
l. Davis guardian to Maria Ppscy, a
minor, to cut and sell 90 cord Of pine
wood from the lands Of said minor for
her maintenance.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-01-05

Dr. Willoughhv the attending ph',s,l',l''l'
at the Sisters Hospital aud one 81 buh ~
most prominent members OF the pr1Iess'oH
has used il for years, and says
BrrrALo August 18TH lSS-'
Or. Rusls Ndica .itsocuiea:
Dear Boctor, III unhesitlt,nsly ada my
name 70 the long list Of regular praetlllont
who have recommended your 'SIccihc "F
Consumption | have used it Tor ul ~
wears ia NV practice for an pulmonary a'le.-
tions, and have always been more than 81 '-
fed with the results consider ii iue oel
compound kn,wn for all lung diseases.
Yours,
NJ WILLOCGHBY, MD.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-01-05
CONTECTlONS.

40 w. from President street. and 100 ~
m from Union Station. Al PORT Deposit, win
Philadelphia and Bal'inor,. Central Railroad.
And At Newark, via the Newark ard nrlawara
tliE Railroad, for points on the Dclawals
go a m.-At Wilmington, with Delaware
Railroad and Branchrs
200 p. IN. from President street. COS y. IN .
from thlNrrt street, aud 2:IU u. M from I'uinn
station AT Port Deposit, with Phiiudrlphia
ana Baltimore Central Railroad
) ID =. IN from Prr>i dent street, and 4IOp IN
from iion Stattun.-At delaware junction
for stations on the Delaware Railroad b.tw..n
Wilmington and Harrington,
tickets can be procured either Mt Tiek o.
Oihc"s, y b. corner Baltimore and CnIv. II
streets. President Street aud Charles Stre.t
stations.
CHARLES T.. PTGII IN. Wnon.
General Manager. Ganl Pass'r Agent
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-01-05
4 Hcdreniy Jistitor.

\ tiny little fellow living in an
Eastern city, but away outon the BORDERS
where circu>es d,i not come or process
sions, who had never seen a soldier in
full ri: was sent to the door by his
mother. who heard the bell ring 1t
wa, Colonel ; So, in full regimentals,
as it was the day Of the Inauguration Of
tue governor.
"IcI, your mother, little man. to
please cone to the door moment |
want 10 speak to her
Charley went up stairs, and appeared
before his mother with the most awe
struck face
Mamma there is some one at the
door wants to see you
Who is it, my SOM
Il don't know, bat | think IT'S Cod"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-01-05
Canned Poison.

Canned fruits, vegetables. meats,
fish, soup. even canned puddingS, are
now not uncommon articles Of diet and
we believe tie introduction Of these al
mentary substances has been. upon the
whole, great benefit to the peoDle; for
fruit, vegetables. and meat even. that
at one season of the year would 90 to
waste through the plenty that r.ade thenl
>upe'fuous are ~ the calming system
economized fir use ii other seasons. L
But It Is certain that several articles
40" put III thus should be putup in glass
Or earthenware to make them safe ar
tleles Of diet Al. substances That con
t''n acids capable Of attacking in solder
or IN Of tLc cans coubme VIII tbesa
metals to make poisonous compounds,
AMI may cause i.iue.s aud even de,tb.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-01-05
Nothing Short of Unmistakablc
Benefits

onfcrrcd upon tens of thousands OF
'uiitrcrS could originate and maintain
h reputation which AYERS SAKsA
rAEILIA enjoys. 1t is compound OF
The best vegetable Alternatives. with the
Iodides of Potassium and Iron. all
powerful, blood-making, blood cleansing
and DEMONSTRATING and is the most
2ilectual of all remedies for scrofu.
loas. mercurial, or blood disorders.
Uniformly successful and certain, il
produces rapid and complete cures Of
Scrofula, Sores, BoilS, Humors, PIN
pies, EruptionS, Skin Diseases and all
disorders arising from impurity of the
blood. BY its invigorating effects it
always relieves and often cures Liver
Complaints, Female Weaknesses and
irregularities, and is a potent remover
of waning vitality. For purifying the
blood it has no equal. 1t tones up the
system, restores and preserves the
health, and impartS vigor and energy.
For forty years it has been in extensive
use. and is to-day the most available
tor SAFE oY all druggists.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-01-05
Purchase of Timber Lnmd.

Messrs II Speer & Co, contractors
for ship buiIing timber. have purchased
Of Mr. Norris Bryan, the tract Of timber
and adjoining the Marshall Hall farm.
in Maryland, below this city, and will
put force of men at work there at enc
getting out vessel frames. 1t is said
that Messrs 5. & Co., have contracts
for all the timber they can furnish
1icr1n,iria GazcHe
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-01-05
. Gemticmar OF ne on school

The Providence STIR relates pref
.. s,.rv thus. After all, sincere poljt
'n..s !, the sweetest and most acceptable
ne other day saw Now London
man in Providence New Loudouef
MOI noted for this urbanl.y, but rather
for his grisly auSterty Vt home he
meyer hfts his hat to anybody. Well
h., was on the pawtueAot horse cars.
when there came hobblmg up apoor de
formed girl, ploddiug along with the aid
Of rude crutch She was huuchbatkcd,
and had hip inhrmity; III fact, 1t seem-
al as il all the corpored atfiictioOs lad
devastated her delicate little body NON
what did this grim old New London Il
do but dismount aud help her aboard
and what did be further do but uupiu hi,
button.hole bouquet aud hand It to hcl
and what did he further do but ralse hi
hat and make her the protouude>t o
hows: in return for all If which So,
heaned upon him one Of tine saduyst o
niles-a smile 81 sad it seemed 10 hay.
eau,ht the sweet melancholy OF the o.
taber sunshine. He was gentleman u
the old school school that ought ncy
eric have ben dismiss-d
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-01-05

r'"o''d .3 "' .s.ns.as H. Epts-rpai C'lroh
~ ...-y.--S-----------
,. bourbt = new hat and
W." .oon a. he gets his new
rays, just as I' y" ;nt.nJs to 20 hunt.
hoa.e COZ" .o,. consenial companioushiI
M 10 . ~ NJ !. Sat and Charley.
than '"''' ',, ,'u"' h,ck.mirh has at last put
Our '''''E. e11n, u;,ich we doubt that
lbs loot 'n.' ~ T.. Iii. 10 ext,icate him.
h. WI ever L;,,, ,orrartlv RIGHT W,
stef II ' }, ,'' .inrl. Bit lie at one
dou ply ,' nm but at his last cx.
u.'e P'ai'' ..I,,rd the devil" Queer
hA'"u u f
'''G [., IT, +. opros. d to church fcsti-
Miss Nei',' : are a rood many folks
yaI'' a1'
hetcaDou',, = lively as a cricket and
Va. j. ,! Jus, s,rget il he is fine look
Oeio'e ,,. allow
'"g lOT" nc. heard that distribution Of
we ~" ~, w,. contemplated What
'us"' w. 80 know not. but reckon they
'n'y .,L;,c
are r i.r is fifteen vcor-old chap here,
w. aa,..p,nlates engaging place
Nuo ,,l.rc for the purpose Of keeping
oa,"'.o NAV be- the recipient Of at least
mop :" ,hn.c ...urrar tits
on. sr'.icbme wa, the order Of the even
~. ~" S,tnrday la,t Bill was spread
w .lr IN that occasion, notwith-
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1883-01-05

1t is the custom Of all who can afford il
10 make Presents to friends and loved one,
at least once year, and real good habit il
Is The only matter that brothers givcrs is
what to bay. We come to the rescue. and
suggest is there anything more useful than a
suit for your boy OF husband, especially when
YOU can get quality, fit and the lowest price:
the State from G. \. OEHM 4 Son, Ham
over and Pratt SITS Baltimore.