The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1883-08-16
A CRUEL REVENGE
How an Old Squntter Intrnpped n Rail
way CONDUCTOR.

How an Old Squntter Intrnpped n Rail
way Conductor.
Some time ago an old squatter
boarded a railway train for the first
time, and was naturally very solicit
GUS concerning the distance he had to
travel and what time he would reach
his station. The conductor was very
| curt in his replies to the old fellows
questions.
"Wall, about what hour by sun does
your contraption git thar?"
az don't know"
"You know whar the place is, don't
youT
II suppose So"
"Wall, can't you give me omesorter
idee about the-go on, then !" he con-
tinued, as the conductor left him.
Several weeks after the conductor,
together with several railway contem-
poraries, went out to the noun
tains on a fishing excursion. Losing
their way, they stopped to inquire the
road to Blue creek. The farmer met
them at the gate and after a satisfied
shake of the head, as though long
looked-for opportunity had come, he
invited the sportsmen to get out of the
wagon.
"We haven't got time," said the
conductor.
"We merely wanted to learn the
nearest way to Blue creek. Can you
give US the direction?'
"Oh, yes. I've been livin' here for
thirty year, an have catched many a
fish outen the creek"
"Well, which way must we go?"
"Lemme see. Thar's several ways.
The finest fish ever tuck outen that
water was snatched out by my son Ike.
Want it, Ike?" turning to the boy.
"Yas, pap"
"Wa'n't he lively?"
"Yas, pap"
"Didn't he make you prance around
like a colt2"
"Yas, pap"
"Here, old man, we've got no time
to fool along with you. Which direction
shall we take?"
"Wall, the neardest way is to take
down that boiler yonder, an keep
down it till there's high bluff on
each side. The walls of the bluff will
be kittin' closer an closer, but arter
awhile they'll widen out. Then you'll
be right at the creek"
cat a good place?"
"The place whar Ike snatched the
whopper. Amt it Ike2"
"Yas, pap"
Didn't he make you prance like"
"Driye onp' demanded the con-
ductor. eve can't fool around here
any longer"
They turned down into the "holler
and the wagon ran over the rough
stones with a series of conclusions
that seemed to keep the railroad men
in the air half the time. The old man
and Ike watched the wagon for few
minutes, and then laughed bolster
ously.
"Come on" said the old man "we'll
whip aroun' an git thar fust." And
they started over the hill at rate Of
speed surprising for so old man to at
tain.
The wagon proceeded until precip-
itous walls between the mountains
rose on each side. The pass grew mar
rover as the wagon advanced. Dark
ness came on and the great walls
frowned upon the now anxious party.
Finally the wagon hubs grazed the
rocks, and then with shock the ve-
hicle stopped.
"This beats Satan himself" said one
of the conductors. "Here we are
stuck, and we can't get out except by
the hind gate or climbing over the
mules. Can't turn around. Blamed
if I know what we'll do"
"Say, down there" called voice
from above.
"Hello, we're stuck" exclaimed the
squatter's conductor. "How can we
get on2"
"Dinged if I know. It's pity, too,
for about ten miles from here is where
Ike caught the whopper. Amt it,
Ike2"
"Yas, pap"
"Didn'S he make you prance?"
"Yas, pap"
"Say, you old scoundrel," called the
squatter's conductor, "what made you
get US into such trap?'
"Don't reckon you recollect when l
rid on your train; knowed I'd get
you. In this neighborhood I'm knowed
as old Pizen Bill. I came to Arkansas
fore the sun riz, and I'm going to stay
here till arter she sets. Don't sass me.
I'll roll rock down on you. What
time will you come to your gettin' off
place, do you reckon? You say it don't
smell satisfactory down thar. Reckon
not, fur you are in the biggest buzzard
roost you ever seed. Well, call by an
see me when you git out. Goodnight"
-Arkansa1U Irareler.