The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1883-01-12
TRAITS OF THE ssDRUMMER."


duster.
he is usually swung to a satchel, contain
ing comb and brush, another shirt. a
clean celluloid collar and pair OF cuffs: also
a railroad guide and a newspaper wrapped
around suspicious looking bottle. This is
about all the personal baggage he carries,
except Seaside Library novel and pocket
knife with corkscrew in the back of it. He
has two-story iron bound trunk, containir Q
samples, which he checks through to the next
town. He always travels for a first class
house-the largest firm in their line of busi
ness in the United States a firm that sells
more goods and sells them cheaper than auy
two houses in the country. He IS very mod
est about stating these facts, and bushes
/ when he makes the statement, but he makes
1t nevertheless, probably as a matter of duty
he can talk on any subject, although he
I may not know much about it, but what little
he knows he knows, and he lets you know
that he knows 1t. he may be giving his
views on the financial policy Of the British
Government or he may be only telling YOU
4 of what in his opinion, is good for a boil, but
he will do it with an air and a tone that
leaves the matter beyond all dispute.
He is at home every where, and he never
seems out Of place wherever you find him,
altho' we do not remember ever to bavefoupd
him in church. Sitting an his grfp-sack at a
way station, waiting for a train six hours
behind time, and abusing the railroad ofic-
ials, from brakesman to president, with 4
/ profuse and robust profanity that gives the
air sulphurious odor for miles around. he
seems in perfect keeping with the surround
inc
without him as horse race without yellow
dog on the track.
! When the drummer gets into railroad
train, if alone, he occupies two seats. One
Sc sits on, and on the other he piles MP his
baggage and overcoat, and tries to LOOK as if
they didn't belong to him, but to another
man who bad just stepped into the smoking
car and would be back directly.
Drummers are usually found in pairs or
I quartettes on the cars. They sit together in
a double seat, with vaise on end between
them, on which they play euchre and other
sinful games. When they get tired of play
/ ing, they go out into the smoking car. where
the man who is travelling for distillery
''sets 'em up'' out Of his sample case, and
. for an hour or two they swap lies about the
/ big bills of goods they have sold iu the last
town they were In, telling highly seasoned
1 stories about their personal adventures, and
/ exhibit to each other the photographs of the
/ last girls they made impressions on.
While the drummer is not ostsntatiously
bashful, neither does he assume any outward
show Of religion. His great love Of truth is,
however, one of his strong points, and he is
never known to 20 beyond actual facts ex-
cept in the matter of excessive bazgage.
Regarding this he will sometimes stretch a
point until it will cover up two hundred
pounds of three hundred pound trunk. He
is the Only man who dares address hotel
clerks by their christian names. He knows
every hotel in the country, and every room
in every hotel. When he arrives by a late
train he is the first to get out Of the bus and
reach the clerks desk, when he says to the
clerk:
Hello, Charley, old fel, low are you?
| Got No. 16 for me ?''
And the clerk flashes his Kohinoor and
smile on him, as be shakes his hand, pounds
the nickle- plated call-bell, and shouts
''John, take the gentleman's baggage to
/ No. 16"
| In the dining-room the drummer Is favor
.
/ finds more fault with the fare than any other
/ guests do, He don't believe the waiter when
he tells him that the milk is all out, but sends
him of to inquire further about the matter,
and while the waiter is gone he fills up his
glass out OF the blue milk in the cream pitch
er. He iirts with the chambermaids, leases
the bootblacks, and plays practical jokes on
the regular boarders. He goes to bed at
late hour, and sleeps so soundly that the
| porter wakes up the people for two blocks
/ around, aud shakes the plaster of the wall,
in trying to communicate to him the fact that
the bus for the 4:2O a. NJ. train will start in
ten minutes.
| The drummer has much to weary and fret
him. Travelling at night to save time, sleep
( ing in a baggage car. OF the cabOose of q
| freight train, with nothing but his ear for a
pillow, humping over rough roads on stages
and buckboards, living on corn bread and
coffee dinners in cross roads hotels, yet IN
der all these vexatious circumstances he is
usually good humOred and in the best Of spi-
rits, although he sometimes expresses his
feelings regarding the discomforts OF travel,
and the toughness of q beefsteak, or the So
lidity Of biscuit, in language that one would
never think OF attributing to the author of
Watts hymns.
All kinds of improbable stories are told
about drummers, some of them being almost
as Improbable as the stories they themselves
tell. For instance, we once heard that q
man saw a drummer In the piney woods Of
North Carolina, camping out under an um-
brelia.
What are you doing here? p"
81 am camping and living on sprace gum
to save expenses" replied the drummer.
what are you doing that for ?''
ITO bring up the average"
Itseems that the hrm allowed him a certain
sum per day for expenses, and by riotous
living he had gone far beyond his Idaily al.
lowance. BY camping out under an umbrel-
la snG living OF spruce gum for a few days.
the expense would be so small as to offsettbe
previous excess he bad been guilty of. The
story is probably a fabrication.
The chief end and aim of the drummer Is
to sell goods, tell anecdotes, and circulate the
latest fashionable slang phrase If he un-
derstands his business the country merchant
might as well capitulate at once. There is
no hope too forlorn, or any country merchant
too surly or taciturn for the drummer 10
tackle. Our illustration at the head of this
article shows the country merchant under
the influence of the drummer That same
merchant, not long ago, loaded up a double |
barreled shotgun with nails with the iDten- /
tion of vaccinsting the first drummer who |