Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1883-11-16

THE BAD BOY.

81 was thinking what fool King
Solomon was," said the bad boy to the
grocery man the other morning, with
the air of one who has made a statement
tina: has got to be argued pretty strong
to make it hold water.
"This Solomon is credited with being
the wisest man, and yet history says he
had thousand wives Just think of it..
You have got one wife, and pa has got
one, and all the neighbors have got one,
if they have had any kind Of luck
Does not one wife make you pay atten-
ton Wouldn't two wives break you
up? Wouldn't three cause you to see
stnrs How would ten strike you
Why. man alive, you do not grasp the
statement that Solomon had one thou
sand wives. A thousand wives stand
ing side by side, would reach about four
blocks. Marching by fours it would
take them about twenty minutes to pass
a given point. The largest summer re-
sort hotel holds only about five hundred
people, so Sol would have had to hire
two hotels if he took his wives out for u
day in the country, If you would stop
and think once in while you would
know more"
Tho grocery mans ewes had begun to
stick out as the bad boy continued, as
though the statistics had never been
brought to his attention before, but he
was bound to stand by Solomon, and he
said. "Well. Solomon's wives must have
been different from our wives Of the
present day
'Not much," said the boy, rs he saw
be was paralyzing the grocery man
"Women have been about the same
ever since Eve She got mashed on the
original dude, aud il stands to reason
that Solomon's wives were no better
than the mother Of the human race.
Statistics show that one woman out of
every ten is red headed That would
give Solomon alI even hundred rcd
headed wives. Just that hundred red
headed wives would be enough to make
an ordinary man think that there is IA
land that is faircr than this. Then
there would be, out Of the other nine
hundred, about three hundred blondes,
and the other six hundred would be
brunettes. and maybe he had few al.
binos, and bearded women, and fat wo-
men, and dwarfs Now. these thousand
women had appetites. desire Tor dress
and style, the same as all women. I'm
agine Solomon saying to thcnf, Girls,
let's all go down to the ice cream saloon
and have q dish of ice cream" Can
you, with your brain all muddled with
Goldfish and new potatoes, realize the
scene that would follow? Suppose, af-
ter Solomon's broom brigade had got
seated in the ice creamery, one Of the
red headed wives would catch Sol wink.
ing at strange girl at another table.
You may think he did not know enough
to wink, or that he was not that kind OF
flirt, but he must have been or he
never could have succeeded in marrying
u thousand wives, 10 sparsely-settlcd
country. No, sir, it looks to inc as
though Solomon 10 all his glory, was al
old masher, and from what | have seen
of men being bosscd around with one
wife, | don't envy Solomon bis thou
sand Why, Just imagine that gang Of
wives going aud ordering fall bonnets.
Solomon would have TO be king or a
Vanderbilt TO stand il. Ma wears FIVE
dollar silk stockings, and pa kicks aw-
fully when the bill comes 10. Imagine
Solomon putting up for few thousand
pairs Of silk stockings am glad you
will sit down and reason with inc IN d
rational way about some Of these bible
stories that take my breath away. The
minister stands me of when try u
talk 10 him about such things, and tell'
me to study tho parable Of tho Prodigal
Son, and the dcacoDs tell me to go and
soak my head. There is darn little en-.
couragement for boy to try aud figure
out things. How would you like Il
have thousand red headed wives CONF
into the store this minute and tell you
they wanted you 10 send carriages
around TO the house at three o'clock Sc
they could 90 for drive? Or how
would you like to have hired girl come
rushing in and tell you to send up 81,
hundred doctors, because six hundred Of
your wives had been taken with cholcri
morbus Or"
20, don't mention it," said tho gro
Gerry man, with shuddcr Il wouldn'l
take Solomon's place and bo tho natura
protector Of thousand wives il anybody
would give me the Garth"
Yes" says the boy, and think 0
Two thousand feet, each ono as cold as o
brick Of chocolate ice cream A maj
would want back as big as the fence Il
fair ground. But don't want to har
row up your feelings. | must go ant
put some arDica on pa. He has go
home, and says no has been TO a summe