davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-09-26
Counting in Mexico.

Counting from all accounts is d
pretty tough job in this cou'try.
The young man is first supposed to
meet the lady on the plaza. The,
never speak, but they always gaze at
each other as they pass. When. the
lady does not make her appearance
on the plazaathe young man will re.
pair to the street fronting the house
and walk up and down in front of it
for several hours! He will always
gaze earnestly at the. window as he
passes. The young lady and her
female friends are inside, and she
will return his glance. After 10
o'clock the young man will go home.
This performance is continued for a
couple of months, and at last the
young man will knock boldly at the
door and asked for the lady of the
house. He will tell her that her
daugb'er,sis an ...agel from the Para.
disc valley of Heaven; she is beauti-
full beyond compare; that she is bet
ter than she is beautiful; that be is
wildly in love with her, and that life
has no possible interest for him un
less he can win her. He will then
tell Of his prospects in life; what he
is possessed of and hopes to be pos
sessed of. II this latter part is sat
isfactory to the mamma she will
commiserate with him, tell him that
she has noticed his attention to her
daughter, and finally conclude by in
viting him to the inner circle and in
Producing him to the young lady in
the presence of the assembled fami-
ly.. The grandma (if there is a
grandma in the family will sit be.
tween the young people and witness
their cooling. All the rest of the
family remain in the room also, un-
less they are otherwise engaged, but
under no circumstances must the
young people be left alone for sec
ond. This you will admit, is pretty
tough, but that is not half what the
young man must suffer before the pa
DIRE closes the bargain and gives him
a proprietary interest in his lady
love. If, perchance, the young lady
has pair of big brothers land such
is generally the case-the unfortn
nate swain is expected to treat them
to mescal and cigarettes every time
they meet. If a circus or theatre
company visit the town it is the pre-
rogative of the young lady to ask ali
her femal relatives to accompany her
to the show, and the young man, of
course, is expected and required to
foot the bill. But the worst part of
the business for the loye.sick young
man remains to be told. He can not
walk by the side OF bis afflanced on
the way to or from the theatre. She
will start of ahead in company with
some female friend, while the young
man will bring up the rear on the
arm of his grandmamma or some
equally venerable dame. This is
the recognized and inviolable custom
OF the country, and while it exists
the American young man will not a
be . social success in Mexico. He
can not stand the racket. If the
young couple are very spooney they
can be married in six moths, though
well regulated society demands
twelve months courtship,-[Kansas
City Journal.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-09-26

Browns IRON B1TTERs
has been thoroughly tested
for dyspepsia, indigestion,
biliousness, weakness, debil-
ity, overwork, rheumatism,
neuralgia, consumption,
liver complaints, kidney
troubles, &c., and it never
fails to render speedy and
permanent relief
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-09-26

THE PROPERTY COMPRISING 43
i acres of land, with good dwelling
and other improvements, on the Bayou
Robert road, one mile from Alexan-
drta. The property is suitable tor a
dairy farm, and is now under good
fence. For terms apply at the Office
OF. the State Central Express.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-09-26
MISCELLANEOUS.
koKhi!skey!

Browns IRON B17TERs
is one of the very few tonic
medicines that are not COM
posed mostly of alcohol or
whiskey, thus becoming a
fruitful source of intemper-
ance by promoting a desire
for rum.
Browns IRON B1rTERs
is guaranteed to be a non
Intoxicating stimulant, and
it will, in nearly every case,
take the place Of all liquor,
and at the same time abso-
lutely kill the desire for
whiskey and other intoxi-
eating beverages.
Rev. CIV. RICE, editor Of
the Amey7can Christian Re-
mezv, says of Browns Iron
BitterS:
Gin, o., Nov. 16, 1881.
Gents The foolish vast.
ing of vital force in business,
pleasure, and vicious indul-
gence of our people, makes
your preparation a necessity;
and if applied, will save hun
dreds who resort to saloons
for temporary recuperahon.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-01
THE BEST FUN GOING.

SAY, there" exclaimed \ police
M, pointing Ia placarri on the wall,
INT you see n notice, NO lOuting
ALT this station I" " Yes" replied
thtineraut, land ~ soon as | found
oEOu didn't allow fellow to loaf
aot the place | came inside, To do my
long here"
e coming storm: PAS u long
wahead Of Weighing" said Melanc-
thItO one of Mr.. Marrowfat's guests,
ast W were examining the pictures in
therlor after dinner. "Iour father
Is AIRY clever man." politely Observ-
ed gentleman to whom the remark
wasldressed. YES" continued the
garbus boy, "hec can tell when there's
a stu coming every time, Just by
look in mas face. brooklyn Ea-
gle.
tt happy days: "Don't you re-
menr little Sammy Bambry, who
used steal your peaches and break
yOurndOws twenty years ago, right
here AUSTIN" "Why, certainly, /
remehr you now. And ! tanned
your Ie hide for you when L caught
you" You bet you did. All, those
happyys will never come again. -
Texaslngs
a Bon honeymoon: They were
BostoIuple who had been married but
few ks and had just gone to house.
keepini As the husband stood at the
area dome morning, with the market
basket ais hand, his bride threw her
arms ard him and said: "Do you
tndeedie me so very, very much,
Bradfor Bunker Hill monument
may faihe answered with enthus-
Jams, Dny love will always stand"
"Weu, T." she exclaimed, kissing
him, az forget the beans. brook
Ign Eagl
Rise ALL of 3 circulation: "Your
ciroulatlo increasing all the time,
unuerstN said gentleman TO an
Arkansawtor, "Oh, yes; beats any
thing you saw. Why, sir, when 1
started th.loom the people said it
couldn't nwo mORths, but / whOOp-
ed the thlno. Never saw circulation
increase So" al am glad to hear
1t. You pond so from me some time
ago, you rehber, and 1 haven't ask
cd you Tor because | wanted to let
you get q SUI "YeS, as l was saying
the circulatfincreased with rush,
but now IL Sc down to almost n1th-
! ing. '--Arkay Traveller.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-01
A Tender Spot Touched.
Fpa the Brooklyn Eage.


81 don't supposed you allow any one
to go over the bridge yet" said a coun-
tryman, addressing one of the workmen
on the East river bridge.
"Not yet" said the wor kman.
"Well, l thought I'd just like ter kim
der walk up ter the top of the tower 'un
look the thing over. I suppose you
wouldn't mind"
"No one allowed on any part of the
bridge" said the workman.
"I've heard . good deal bout this
bridge, and thought since was 8
stranger in the city"
eve have had too many people both
ering us already" said the workman,
"and the boss won't allow any more
inside the gates"
"Well, that's kinder tough on man
what's come nigh on to: seventy-tive
mile to see that bridge. Now, / expect
you feel mighty high when We get up
there. Must be over hundred feet
ter the top of that tower"
"FOur or five hundred" said the
workman.
"Do tcll,r said the countryman.
"Now, expect as I'd get giddy like If
/ went up there. don't mind runnin'
the risk, though"
Cant be done" said the workman.
dead against orders"
"You don't happen to he a drinkin'
man, do yoa?" asked the countryman
winking, and poking his hand into his
pocket. "Cos If do, I'd like to have
you drink my"
"YOu needn't expect to bride U.s."
said the workman. "We're used to
that sort Of thing, and the best thing
you can do is to dust right out"
dust whatm
"Get. Move on"
. "When will you be ready 10 receive
visitors any way" asked the country
man.
"Not in months vet"
"NOw, that's too all fired bad" said
the c0uptrymap. "Afore left
hum, Eliza says she, Rekel, if you
com hum from York without crossin'
that bridge you hain't no husband of
mine no more. It's your big chance
to become famous in our village, says
she, AN you haint got drop of go or
snap in We. if you don't take advantage
of it, New, stranger, be you a married
man"n
az am,n said the workman.
"Then you can understand how I'm
pl-"
"Go across" said the workman,
stepping aside, and allowing the coun-
tryman to pass onto the bridge.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-01

region. They are not only filthy in
body but degraded In mind, and daily
enact the most disgusting performances.
They like the work when 1t is easy, but
quit the momentthey encounter 3 streak
Of hard coal which requires an extra
amount of muscle to remove. Their
wives and daughters they seem to re-
gard as mere pack-horses, and they i'm
pose portion of their work upon them.
1t is not an unusual sight to see half
naked Hungarian women wheeling
great barrows of coke into the car, their
husbands resting on q convenient block.
comfortably smoking their pipes.
The miners go to work between four
and six O'Clock and quit about two in
the afternoon; the drawers are often at
work as early as two O'Clock and never
later than Eve and are done by noon.
These seem like short hours, but they
are so of necessity. No man could
stand the exhausting work for 8 longer
period without imparing his health.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-01
CUPS OF The END MEN.

Too heavy to carry: "Bah Jover
exclaimed young Dudibot, "tht
weathah is getting so mild, yer know
that / must have the ferrule taken of
my cane. It's too beastly heavy for 8
warm day, yer know."-Boston Tran
script.
To the manor born: 81 am native
American citizen, born, be jabers, in
this country" said Dir. Muldoon at a
recent political gathering, land, if we
disbelieve it, come around home and
will show ye me naturalization pa
phers."-The Judge.
High art appreciated: "What did
you think of the water-colOr exhibition
this year: ." asked an artist of his super
aesthetic friend, Mrs. Y. every fair
very fair, indeed. The'pictures set of
that divine gilt papering in charming
say."-Life.
A change of business: "What a man
Rnxton is to change roundw exclaimed
Ms. Henderson. "It was only last week
ht,went into the grocery business, and
nov he has gone into insolvency"
"Oi, that's nOthingw replied Fogg;
god deal more money in ii, you
know. - Boston Transcript.
Ii, Boston newspaper office: The
gentleman who is making up the form
"Hee's an item that has no mark and
there's no way to tell where it belongs"
FOrenan- whats it headed" Maker
up-'tAn Old Scandal Revived"
ForerSn-"O, thas' goes in the New
Fhglan news."-l.ouisville Courier
Journa
Not 0 be- taken literally: Mrs. Sam
Millids, oil Austin lady, was busy try
ing TO make a pincushion of sawduSt
when tie rOlOred cook came to ask
what sh2 would cook for dinner. "Go
away, aud don't bother me now. My
head is ttll OF sawdust now and l can't
think of anything se."-Texas Sift-
ings.
Forced introsPectiOn: Scene-Musi-
dent foreign gentleman to John Pyrites
1t il a delightful occasion; / do as
are myself that you enjoy it. J. =.
who : cut off by the music from his
rsual iiversiOnsl Oh, yes, very much,
thank; haven't thought. Of so many
tnngs since | was last at church,
Life.
The latest Whistlerian criticism:
Whistirian enthusiast-"And how did
ym lie the Whistler exhibition? ?"
Far criic-"Oh, was charmed. The
wdls, tie programmes, the furniture
everything was quite too lovely. All
in lyelkw and white, you know"
WEstleran enthusiast-"But the etch-
ing9" fair critic-"The etchings? L
dp remember seeing them. Ion
dOI Funny Folks.
here vas nothing mean about him:
"ClTles,r she said, as she leaned her
CLASSICAL head upon his broad, stalwart
,hOuder, Il have but one request to
maxi before our wedding" "Speak.
mt, dearest he answered, huskily. |
Whit is it?' IL want lock of your |
lair. "Take it, darling" he cried,
satciing of brown, vinegar-colored |
Ng md forcing it into her hands. |
"ak'it. No one shall ever say re-
bed my request from my future wife
ROling an outlay of only Sl5."-
{ iplTO Check
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-01
The S OF THE BALL.

Min nnsereled and white,
Win eyeosrchsd till they meet.
y A. inSIuen .. Sa unmaidenly poiSe,
DANCING d" in the set
Forward, and ,rar5 an5 swtrg.
And still vii Sr.ns ns arr conid en-
hRnce
And she move queen OF the ring.
whirl, VIII hi-,t
I'LL me orSln ls to swiml
NIL, nlLIt Shtrll
iii weary Ia ond limbi
Sliue, snu w and Raquet,
ha9uet, Siu VT and Glide
IN IN S you un0So in 3 mystic maze,
n0Ohs0'0N' y. or tide.
Dance uaneScel
The excitement ,rours Iass
And what have ssInsSS A broken
fan,
Crushed flowers ruined dress.
\ STU ,rat ne unrest,
And a feeling so Chat Il will no oueer
II II aoeS no' Fry.
Flirt. fiirt! an
From the "promeb IN usreat bomeV-
Furtl dirt! fiitt'"
As empty anu Nassami
Flirt and waltz wttolJ
It's all the same TO tiIIf,l haIls
Let the Ntolirn oe Va or bold.
Ifmodest, you ply yr,s
To win him 10 your
II bold, you measure5s
That the conquest m com,,ste
Smile, and giggle, an
Ogle, and gisgle, ana.
Deuominate all who vnnr charms
100 utterly stupid G
With fingers ieweled ib,ta
With eyebrows arohethay mot,
A maiden stood in unf,,Iy ,,oiss
Dancing "the b cad" tn
Danosl dan ce dan
Forward, and backwA, av,ns
And still with q gla1 art coSid an.
hance
She moved heqneeo Sing.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-01
HOP RITTERs.I
RsmemhsB This.

II you are sick Hop Bittsrs will surely aid
Nature In making yen " ell when all else faia
II you are oostive o. dyspeptic, or are suffer.
ing frum any other Of the numerous diseaAss
OF the stomach or bowels, IL Ia your own fault
II you remain III, fer Hop Bitters are sover-
eign remedy in al such complaints.
lyon are wasting away with any form OF
Kidney disease, sop tempting Death this
momest, and tam :or q cure TO Hop BitterA
II Yea are SICK with that terrible sickness
Nervousness, you win find SPAIN in Gilesd"
in tss use Of Hop Bitters
If You are . frequentsr. or q resident Of Q
Inissmatie district, barricade your system
against the scourge Of countries-malarial,
epidemic, bilious, and Intermittent fevers-
by the use of Hop Bitterk
IL you have rough, pimply, or sailov skin,
bad breath, pains and aches, and feel mixer
able generally, Hop BItters will give yen fair
skin, rieh blood, and sweetest breath, health
and comfort.
In short they cure all diseases Of the stom-
ach, Bowels. Blood, Liver, Nerves, KidAsys,
Rrights Disease 500 will be yAtd for . case
they will not cure or help.
That poor, bedridden. invalid vifA, stste1,
mother or daughter, can b made The picture
Of health, by q few bottlss OF Hop Bittsrl,
costing but trine- Wyl you Let them sufierf
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-01

general of the police, the murderess
! and the detective.
One night in the latter part OF NO
yember last, the detective happened 70
be passing through one Of the leading
througbfares Of the city when he met
Miguel Soares, accompanied 6y q tAi'
commanding woman, dressed elegant
Iy and heavily vailed. HIS suspicious
were Immediately aroused, and he de-
termined to follow the couple.
Taking the opposite side OF the street I,
the detective followed the Two until
they reached small park in . fashion
able quarter of the city. CoBeealfng
himself behind one Of the trees, he
breathlessly awsited Developments.
ssl positively rufase to go any further"
said Soares, tsantii you tell me who
you are and Whist your busfaess Wits me
is" - a. ~..-
"Probably you will not os delighted
to know who an.'
twill satisfy my curiosity, Aowsver,"
said Soares, as he tore the vei9 fF0m the
woman's face. The bright rays of the
moon fell full upon pair of blsck eyes
which glared on Soares with a aendish
fire, and he started back as he recog'
niZed that face.
"Angelique BarberieS he gosped,
"what-what brings you mere"
$40 have your life, Miguel Sosres"
she Kissed, in a tone that tremoied
with passion
"Do You Recognize This Dagger -
at is mineW gasped Soares.
at is yours, indeed, Miguel Soares!
found it in the heart of my sister,
where you left it. Now take it back,
but let your heart be its sheath Thus
do complete my york"
The detective sprang from his hiding
place at the same moment that Soares
fell to the ground with a groan. An
gelique dashed through the shrubbery
and fled across the park. Placing
Soares, who had breathed his last, upon
the grass, the detective gave chase, but
after fruitless search he was obligea to
give up, and returned to the corpse.
A couple of days after he received the
note:
81 am row on my way to foreign coun-
try. and any search for me will result only
in waste of time. have fulfilled my
oath, and will henceforth seek TO find that
repoSe which seclusion alone affords.
"Adieu. ANGELIQUE.'
Though vigilant search was at once
instituted. no traces of the murderess
has ever been obtained, and her whera-
bouts is as impenetrable a mystery as |
were for a long time the mysterious |
murders Of which she alone was the |
knV
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-01
The Editorial. Aeuu.
Peck'A HIIn.

The announcement liz made that q
whole family in Pennsylvania town
were poisoned by eating; liver. This
must be remarkable as well as an isO.
ated case, and something must have
allied the family before eating the liver.
The editorial fraternities Of the country
have been feasting on liver in every
style for years and years, and no such
accid ents have ever happened TO them.
1t loo ks like a campaign lie to iniure
liver
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-01
Some Of the Queer Eancies of Goa.
ductOrs- Engineers, and BrakenAen.
R,1,IE,rd Sy1r

SOhe Va tht queer EhuCltt Ot SOus
ductOrs. Engineers, and Braken.erh
Bradtord Star.
"Ges, read that article Oh stage peo-
pie and their superstitions," said an
Erie conductor, land | must confess
that we railroad men as q class are
equally superstitious. am not speaking
about that superstition that clings to
one after an accident, but of that pos
sessed by regular railroad men. know
a conductor who wears long face the
whole trip, If the first ticket he should
take up would be that ola colored man.
He has never had serious accident,
but Is always afraid of one, when such
an occurrence happens. have known
him to carry il to such an extent that If
colOred man should happen 10 be his
first passenger he would sit down aud
not gather up the tickets until the next
station was reached. That's mild in
stance, however. A horseshoe is a
railroad mans universal insignia of
safety. You will scarcely find freight
train on any of the roads without o
horseshoe in the caboose. Brakemen
sometimes carry whole one in their
pockets. Engineers are scarcely ever
without one in their cab. II anything
happens TO delay train on the first four
or five miles Of the trip an engineer is
always superstitious of bad luck all the
way through. | have known one of
them to entera way telegraph office for
orders and anticipate an answer to clay
over just because 1t was his off
night. Some engineers get to believ-
ing that certain portions of the road are
against them, and no matter how nicely
their train glides over it, they are APP
prehensive of danger or Of being late.
Conductors are tainted with the dis
ease, but not so seriously. Ii the first
pasteboard handed q certain one know
when hestarts on trip should be pass,
he ia certain that he will have bad
luck during the whole run. Brakemen
do not show the symptoms so plainly,
because they have less to do with the
management Of the train, but even they
do not escape it. Should a brakeman
fly off, an evil omen is conveyed to the
mind Of some of the craft. A train Of
thirteen cars often give them the blues.
have known one to miss a trip be-
cause the train he was to run had that
number Of carSn
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-01
Where Justice Was Due.

DtIIUrT ITtUUTt.
A Bugaboo once Crawled Down .
Chimney to Run away with a Child
who had the Afternoon previous been
Detected in one Of the Prevarications
peculiar to Youth. pray, do not Harm
me-" cried the Terrified youngster;
"but il you insist upon Wrecking your
Revenge upon liar, please step into
the next Room and Tackle my Parents,
who have been Giving nae the Tradi-
tiOnal Stuff about Santa Claus"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-01
HE WISHED ALL PRIVILEGES.
An Arkansas Groom who Shocked n
Naughty Hotel Clerk.
81. Louis Globe Democrat.


The other day lank young man
from the country, accompanied by a
goOd-loOking young woman, arrived in
the city and stopped at the largest
hotel.
81 want you to do the best you kin
for us" said the young man to the
clerk. "We're just married and We
want to splurge little. Down in my
country Pm the boss. kin lift agin
any man in the country, and kin split
more rails in q day than anybody
sepenter knock-kneed Bill, the old
Guinea niger that works on the ledge
Sanders place. Tell us where our room
is, please. But l reckon we'll take the
range of the big room whar all dem big
lOOkin' glasses is shiniu'."
ado you mean the parlor%' asked
the clerk, twisting one of his diamond
studs.
eyes, the perlur."
Certainly, SIR"
The young man and wife followed
grinning negro and assembled to the
parlOr. Shortly afterward the clerk,
while passing the parlOr door, saw Rube
throw his arms around his bride and
kiss her.
"Here," said the official, "none Of
that. If you want 10 stay in this room
you've got to behave yoHrselfn
"Ain't | got right to kiss her."
asked the young man.
Eyes, but nOt here"
owe got right to kiss her here or
anywhar else. Shes mine, amt you,
Jule?"
Eyes, Rube.'
"And you're going to cling, amt you,
Julem
"You know l am, Rube."
THAT settles it. Put it right thar"
and puckering up his mouth, he receiv-
ed loud, resembling smack. 1.-The
law OfArkansas says you can put her
thar, so put her thar again, julie. Now,
mister man" but the clerk had van
ished, and Rube, turning to his wife,
said: "After while you will find out
that am hero and boss, Put hel
thar again, Iule."
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-01
Fine Frenzy.

baltimore american.
The wind before il wooS the harp
Is but the wild and common air;
Bot as II passes DER the strings
II turns TO music rare.
And even so the poets soul
Converts the things which round him lie
Into the sweetest voice Of song
nlvinest harmony.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-01

:E!s: : 90 4. !. s s:z &c;
krticles and Family 9eaie.
Esisha up 70 Is NJ asiis &
LII Addrva D0kDBfI0 SCALE co
.. -. -. CyReinnAf
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-01
Carolina Grows by the Million.
Charlotte J0urNGA.

Three sporting gentlemen of Char
lotte, on hearing OF great crow roost
near the residence Of Raxton H. Moore,
about one mile from the suburbs of the
city, repaired to the spot on Tuesday
night, armed with shotguns and pistols.
Every pine tree to be seen was bending
to the ground with load of crows, and
our informant says they were there by
the millions. The gunners shot until
they were tired, and brought so many
of the birds to the ground no account
could be kept Of their number. Last
night about twenty-five sportsmen
went to the place to shoot.