davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
ESTHETIC HINTS.

Japanese gauze makes 4 pretty and
healthy portiere.
Bric-a-brae tables are now covered
with crazy patchwork.
Non-destructive majolica is a new
German invention.
Fringe about the top of lace curtains
makes good effect.
Rasels are covered entirely, and some
times draped with plush.
Tambour muslin curtains are inn
proved 10y a small all-over pattern.
Amberina glass is much used for deli
cate articles. 1t has a beautiful tint.
A door may be beautified by hanging
upon it japanese scroll picture.
Tale is used as decorative material,
and the effect under gaslight Is bril-
liant.
Chairs of faience or pottery are the
latest absurdity fCr halls with marble
floors.
Portraits of the members of the fam
lily are now painted on the company"
china.
a frieze of rich, red ground, with
raised oriental peoples, is new thing
in wall paper.
COlored globes on chandeliers or gas
brackets have taken the place of the
plain white dress.
Mantel lambrequins of embroidered
plush have now become more fashiona-
bic than macrame.
Birch bark brackets, with moss and
grass arranged about them, are very
handsome at this season.
Bureau scarfs may be made OF white
sateen and worked with tulip design in
crewels of bright red and brilliant yell
low.
Putty decoration is new. Flower
pots. etc, may be decorated with flow
ers etc, made from putty, attached to
the article and painted natural colors.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
Hair OIL a Detroit.
Detroit Free Press.


A youngster on Cas- avenue had no.
t;ced a tall black bottle on his fathers
dressing table and asked what it held;
THAT, my son, is hair OIL" answered
his father, with q furtive and wander
ing look, land it is not at all nice Tor
The youthful questioner took smell
of the contents, and asked no more in.
formation upon the subject. he Kept
up good bit Of t9 9dn;T gsn hUTSyes
some friends at dinner, and there was
a plum-pudding with brandy sauce.
The small boy had found his oppor-
tunity. When he was helped to the
pudding he sized it up with large eyes.
"Ps," he said, in loud, shrill tone,
as he shifted the sauce from sfsr OF
"the hair oil in this pudding smells ~
iul good"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
HONEYMOON HINTS.

AT fashionable weddings the bride is
given away. y year later the baby Is
given Il NATURALIZATION lndepend-
eEt.
\ Hastings young man is named
Colt. AS his young lady is pashionate-
~ fond Of caramels the inference is that
She will succeed in "breakiug" him.
GOnkers Statesman.
1t is rather singular that the best man
at = wedding should be the fellow who
doesn't get married, but society proba-
lily knows by experience that tue
Phrasei> literally correct.-Philadelphia
Chronicle.
'If you love me-" he wrote, "wear
tlue ribbon in your hair this evening"
And then she was so anxious for him
20 see il that she not only wore the rib
hon, but dipped the ends of her hair in
blue paint Philadelphia Chronicle.
Young ladies with a yearning for
msIrimony ard all the appurtenances
thereunto appertalning should 20 to
Florida this winter. They will find
Orange-blOssOms in profusiOn there, and
it may possibly be, husband,-LOwell
Citizen.
rs that nttie man married. aSheu
WitherspOOn, looking at five foottwO
man helping lady on the cars.
"Ies. Whym
81 shouldn't think it was consistent
or short fellow like him to enter the
bonds of high-men." -MarathOn indie
pendent.
The High School girl was reading
Amy a long lecture on the stone age,
when tie latter young lady interrupted
her with the remark:
But that is not the age | am most ill.,
teressed IN, Nilred, dear"
What aye occupies your thoughts,
thtn"'
Marriage" was Amy's reply.-Oil
City Derrick.
y young lady clerk in pOstOftice,
where she served three years, was mar
rled six months ago, and now she says
She never dreamed the mails We're so
liable to go astray. She shouldn't let
hers go out without posting him as to
what he might expect if he doesn't
come straight home at a.: early hour
and stampon him i! he doesn't give a
good excuse for being delayed.-NOrris-
tDu,, Herald
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
HIS COLD.
Good Words.

Good Words.
Who can abide His cold:
Pray that you flight be not in the winter"
Is IL not hard to live one day,
when God His face has turned away,
When prayer is wingleSs, or her wing
Droops earthward like some weary thing?
Yet did no bent and broken light
Pierce the dark vault of utter night,
Or hope or memory no ray,
Who could abide His cold enc day?
Summer and winter, sun and rain,
The soul needs for her golden grain.
Warm sun, warm rain, the ear TO NIL,
His cold, loves selfishneSs TO kiss.
Come winter, come to kill dull peh,
Love of His sweetness not Himself;
TIL We can kiss His frowning face
Unmeet our soul for summer grace.
But when the harvest-tide is nigh.
God grant His summer ill the SKY.
God grant His harvest rays be shed.
God grant His harvest moon rise red.
Cold is theshore, and dark the tide,
Through which TO His warm arms We glide,
But IL Il then His face withhold.
Who G.. n that day abide His colds
Not in the winter be our flight!
Th1 n need we most His summer lSnt,
His presence felt, His angels near.
His bride 10 bless, His bread TO cheer.
From strength TO strength, from Thee 10 Thee,
Grant. Lord, our summer flight IN ~ be
From yelled form and mystic grace
To SPICE dors OF hine unveiled tace'
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
a Preachers Troubles.
RnsL0u GLoAt.

y man bearing very large bunch Of
su>TeuGers, the loose ends of which
Gaugted about aS he walked along, was
going W. Washington in the neighbOr-
hood OF School street. On the same
thOrOuGntgtre, coming the other way,
was a gentleman who was recognized TO
Ne one ofuUr noted Giviues-a mau who
not only Ills his pulpit ably on Sunday,
but IS wei, known Tor his good deeds
and UprighIuess. As he meandered
about among the passers, ne talked
earnestly 10 himself and emphasized his
sentiments 10y an occasional gesture
8.th his right hand. Whether he was
ia the midst of the siXthiy of his next
Sunday sermon or was only laying
down the law 10 the wicked politicians
i rot known: but it is known that
when he got opposite the man with the
.u,veuders, in the course Of an elaborate
gesture he thrust one of his fingers
through buckle Of one OF the dangling
su>ueHucSS, and nearly succeeded ia
getting away with the article. That
slSpender, however, CHANGED to be
fastened TO ring in the mans hand,
and the result vas both he and the
Clergyman came 10 q sudden standstill
about the same moment.
oh, no YOU dOn't-nOt THIS time"
said the man with the suspenders.
al beg your pardon" cried the clergy
man, coming in. "Itwas an accident"
"Oh, OF course, Of course" said the
man with the suspenders. EVERY
thing was always an accident when
you get caught. You're q nice looking
man TO be going around lifting sus-
p, uders, amt sou? It's just such we'll
dressed old reprObates aS You that do
all the mischief. But you can't soft
soap me with your beg pardOns, now,
! can tell you; for I've seen you before"
"Seen me before ;" gasped the minis
ter, looking around upon the gaping
C!Owd with apprehensive annoyance.
"YeS, sir, Pve seen you before, and |
know you of old; and if your face amt
stuck up in every rogue's ga. lery, amt
q talking. But you struck snag when
you struck me, now, by thunder
"But, my dear sir"
"Ob, go long" said the man with
the suspenders, sternly. "Iou amt
going to give ME any Of your taffy,
now, don't you forget it. You Jest go
right along and keep your mouth shut
and you fellers keep your eyes on your
pocket. books while he's around. II l
weren't in such hurry I'd run him in,
dashed if | wouldn't And the man
with the suspenders, giving the minis
ter last whitening look, passed on,
swelling with the triumph of 3 right
eOuS victory over wiCkedneSs.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
CONVERSATION IozENGERs.

HSee here, sir,u exclaimed q Phil
adelphia nan angTily, approaching q
q dude, "what do you mean by flirting
your handkerchief at my wife9" 81
earnestly beg your pardon" answered
the dude, ~ mistook the lady for nay
grandmother. n-Philadelphia Call.
"Why, where've you been, Miss
Snowflake asked one dusky maiden Of
another on Cottage Hill yesterday.
"Oh," replied Miss SNOWFALL, II took
umbrage oh de discussion and went to
de Pittsburgh opposition. oil City
Derrick.
81 can not understand what offended
Mr.. Duday last night at party" said
the High School girl. "He and his
company took their departure in high
dudgeon very early, however" "Why,
i thought they left in the same carriage
they come in" replied Amy.-Oil City
Derrick.
$50 you wish to become clerk in
the store, do you, my young friend?
Very well. III a man should buy four
teen pounds OF sugar at Il cents pound
how much would it come too"
Cant say without reckoning, but II
q luau suOuiu guy sugar aI ~ SChSo
when he can get 1t for 8, he would come
to the bottom ofhis pocket in hurry"
Boy hired.-Hartford Post"
Father" asked the young son of
Deacon Smith Squibbs, "what is the
difference between man, that dyes
wool on lambs and a Western editOr|
"Weli now, really, my son" beaming
benigDly on his offspring, Pm not pre-.
pared TO state. What is the difference"
why, pa, one is a lamb dyer and
the other Is a."
"What? what? my sOn?
'Western editor" continued the
youth, rolling his tongue around i'll his
cheek Exchange.
\ somewhat inebriated gentleman
boarded down car on Young street.
Balancing himself against the door he
asked the conductor to let him off 81
CIuikshank street. When WiitOn-ave.
WAS reached he recognized his destina-
ton and, stumbling over to the bell
strap, gave il q tremendous tug. The
conductor was irritatcd.
What do you mean by jerking the
bell like that-ringing it at both ends
he said, with rising anger.
"Well-t hic) don't L vanish the
carsh 10 Slop-(h ic) al both ends"'-
Toronto Globe.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
OBSTINATE, OF COURSE.
A Tfnid Husband Complains OF HIS
Wife Lack or Courage.
Dsf,oit Fyss Press,

A Tfraid Husband Complains OF HIS
. Wife Lack OF Courage.
Detroit FSD Press.
The other night q policeman who was
patrolling High street, east, heard
whistle blown, followed by shouts OF
Police" and after a run OF half BLOCK
he came to a halt in front Of house
where q second story window was rails
ed and man had half his length over
the sill.
"What's the row~ demanded the
officer.
"Some burglars vhas in mein house"
was the answer.
'sHow do you know"
II hears 'em make noise more ash
six dimes"
"Where are they?"
"Down in der kitchen"
"Have you been down to look
aroundm
"No.no. | tells my vhIfe to go, but
she won't stir! She shumps into bedt
uDd covers oop her headt. und L vhas
LETT to do all der fighting und be kilt!
Dots der kind of White she yhas"
The officer Investigated to find that
cats were responsible for the noise, and
as he retired the householder was call
ing to his wife:
HMary, if you 60 down I shtaud on
der stairs NIT light und a shot gun
und shoe. eafery burglar like tunder.'
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
OUR ODD CORNER.

Oh, Billy gave party! We're ish dot
barty now2
' "Pop" Vanderbilt called for q pitcher
of ioe-water this morning.
"Money makes the mare CO." 1t also
makes biue-blood dance to the music of
shoddy aristocraoy.
"Werlth has its victories no less re-.
nowned than war;" remarked w. HI.
Vanderbilt lost evening, as his open
couptenance beamed upon his happy
guests.
The feast that King Bel .hszzar gave,
And banquets that Lucullus spread,
Were great as ancicn;S dared 10 crave
And caused full may an aching head
But grander still, society says
Before which vulgar viciuRls wilt
And greater Than those fOol uisplays
Was the free lunch OF Vanderbilt.
In future history the question will
be asked: "What important event
followed Thanksgiving and preceded
Christmas in the year lSS3m And
the answer will be, The great Wander
tilt ball.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
A Fortunate Man.

fIEhHsd" If0CctifT.
An Arkansaw man while walking
along the road came upon a GYPSY
camp. An old fellow wearing cap
and red jacr ct met him and asked him
if he wanted to buy good horse.
"GOt one to sclI"n
"Ies, fine one"
"How Old is he"'
"SIXyears."
"Fatm'
"Iu good order"
What COLOR"
"What color do you like?'
The Arkansaw man regarded the
Gypsy iutently and said:
"COlOnel, you don't iuten' ter say
that you can make boss change his
color, doyer?'
"Oh, no! mean that We have horses
of all colors."
There's Teller over on the creek that's
got speckled hOss, and he's alters rar-
in 'roun' me about him. ! want ter
make him leave this curmunity, an a
red hosS is the only thing that'll do it,
"Well, you come here tomorrow and
III have red horse for you"
"All right; but say, Colonel, Wharre
yer mOvin' top
"No where particularly"
"How long have you been on the
road?n
about forty years"
CAN yer don't know yit whar yer air
goin':'
"No.n
"Never mind the boss, Colonel, but
stay here till l come back. want my
wife ter see yer. She's al 'ers had the
idee that I'm the bigges' fool in the
worp, an / wanter make her change
her 'pinion. wouldn't have the redes'
boss in the worl now. The man over
the creek is dun faded, l never had no
hopes OF SEEM yer, Colonel, an now
that / have found you, I'm the happies'
man in the curmunity. Jes stay right
whar yer air till l come back" and
turning he started off at trot.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
strictly Business.

Vt.tIEVI w IIvIfI.
"Oh, pa, there is an awful fight around
the corner"
Nes," said pa, indilierently.
"And one man has chewed the others
ear Off"
"Ies."
"And the other man has shot oil his
pistol and killed a baby"
"POor baby" yawned pa.
CANT you goin' round there"'
"PTesently," replied pa.
In n short time everything became
quiet, and pa rushed franticaliy around
tne corner and arrested al old woman
iCr selling matches without license.
Pa Ya9 n policeman.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
FoURTH-MoRTGAGE eoNDs.
A Banker With an Eye to Bnsiuess
Calls on widow.


Merchant Traveller.
A Third street banker was playing the
devoted to handsome widow who had
buried three husbands. Last week he
concluded to call for settlement.
"My dear madam" he began, "you
may have noticed that / have felt more
than an ordinary interest in you; such
All interest, madam, as might be termed
usury in business circles. In fact,
madam, want to go into a copartner-
ship with you; marry you, in other
words"
~ am very sorry indeed, sir, but I'm
promised to another. | am sure | feel
highly honored, and l''-
"Don't mention it, madam, don't
mention it. If you have issued fourth
mortgage bonds on yourself | haven't a
" ord to say. / was willing to take the
risk in your case, but let ME give you a
pointer; | don't grab up promiscuous
stock with fourth-mortgages on it as a
business. It's a bad practice and |
know men who have been ruined by it..
Good 6aVn
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
She Retained Her Composure.
BrO0klqN Emil.

AT North Carolina wedding six
plstolshots were fired within the space
Of minute. The best man was killed
and one Of the groomsmen MORALLY
wounded. As the happy couple were
leaving the church the bride handed
enc Of the ushers q piece of paper and
whispered to him: "See the reporters
al once, give them this description of
my Dress, say the bride behaved like
heroine, and be sure and get pas name
spelled right"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
SOf Afraid 10 Die.

An old man was fast going TO his
"windOwless palace of rest" and the
min ster, wtha number Of friends, stood
by his bedside.
ado you know me-" asked the minis
ter gently.
"Oh, yes, I know you all.n
ado you feel that you are sinking"
ayes, sir; Pm not long for life Oh this
side the river"
"You realize, then, your situation"
"Perfectly, sir"
"And are you afraid to die?'
"Not bit, sir.
"YoI are a brave man."
81 think am, sir; was married four
tines
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
TURNING THE TABLES.
How an Editor Demcralized Wild
Eyed Poet.

OIL CITY Blizzard.
"Have YOU soul for poetry" in
ouired a wild-eyed man dashing into
the sanctum. 49,, ,., NJ.
the truth is l locked it in my private
safe when left home this morning, as
/ was afraid some corporation would
come around and want it. 1 was read.
inc in an exchange the other day that
corporations had no souls and was
sronnd TO get hold of it, and when cor
poration gets hold of anything it never
lets 90. But although 1 haven't the
soul along have some first-clsss poetry
here, about spring and such things,
which we were compelled to hold over
until the weather let up little, anu II
von,d sit down a while I'll read you a
few
But with cry of terror the wild-eyed
man escaped through the door.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
MlDWINTER SMILES.
TIE Boy and His Mothers
Present.
PrO,idirg for Contingencies in the Way Of
Maternal Wrath-A Boston Suspender
Man Teaches a Preacher the
Danger of GestieuIatiOg
IN the Street.
Detroit Free Press.


a hoy about ten years old, with q
bootblack's kit on his arm, yesterday
Hinked To a lad about three years older
10 come into the alley behind the Post
office. ami when he had him there he
said:
al want YOU to give me little adj
vice"
THAT'S me. What is it,"
"Pm thinking of buying mother q
Christmas present"
IL see. What kind of mother is
sLe:"
"Oh, purity fair"
"Ever lick ye?!"
"Once in n while; but guess need
edit"
Ever sneak up and so through your
iockets aits We git in bed:''
NO"
Jaw around when she has to find
your ha: or bOOts"?'
Not much"
"Wel, now, you look a-here. I'm
ulder'n yen are and have bad three
mothers ~ your one. They can't a.lus
lee depeEded ON. I've known 'em to be
- slick rs grease for three or four days,
and then al to ORce they'd snatch ye
hAld-heajed You must kinder con-
slider these things in buying present"
What hall git? I'm thinking of
a pair Of shears, or work basket, or
silver thUIGls, or some such thing
Don't yOG git nuthin' OF the sort.
You'd feel party flat to go and pay 81
'ur work basket, and then have her
cuffyoU up Ia h peak just the day be-
FIRE Christmas, wouldn't you? That's
the trouble; you see, you've got 20 pur-
ttct yourself and give q present at the
same time
How do you do"
IL never buy nuthin', but you 50 an
Get pound of candy. Give me fDuc
sticks and hide the rest under the hnI>,..
II she keeps good up TO Christmas You
Kin put Il in her stocking, and she'll
hasure 81 give you back half Of il. Ii
= e CO.'S 10 knocking things around
you've got sUnthin' that you kin real
leon. You amt stuck on basket Oi
hardware or suuthin' that's no good 10
a Oy. Candy is allus worth its face
value, and what you can't eat you kin
u~e m hiring the big boys not to lick
vOu.'
IL guess IN 10 it,"
"Of course you will. Tell We, Jim,
there's nuthin' like plannin' little.
Every Christmas | give my father six
hard bi!cd eggs, and as he hates 'em
like pizen be pats me on the head for
my goodness and hands me back every
blessed one"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
he WONDERS WHO.

The wind goes chasing the dead. dead desNssSi
There's cold on the face of the smoky clock
fhat brays on the top OF the Mayors to"er'
The rot expapds on the groeer's fruit;
The car-mule's tail Is dangling Iower,,
The Snde stands chilled on the avenuefi
Matilda calls for the fire blower.
And m on the darkling autumn days!
r vonSer who will be here to proyide
The turkey that used 10 nil my board -,,5s
Thapkseiying dsy-how the seasons -
Louisville Courier-journai'
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
Diagnosing a Case by Telephone.

French Paper.
"HallOm
"Well?"
doctor, my little girl is i'll, and | am
very much alarmed. Her cough worries
TIE ret her cough in the telephone
Te uoetor answers by telephone:
et her take spoonful of ipecaeu-
SnSsytup' Twill eallinI short time.n
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30

1897 PriLes, amounting to-.-..'.."""'."'''s1no'tU
Application for rates TO ciups should %
New Orleans. ,,..,, -
.ng full address. Make r. U. money oruers
naSabie and address Registered Lstterso
NEW ORLEANS NATIONAL BhSk.
w" New Orleans, La
Postal Notes and ordinary letters by Mail
or Express (a!l sums Of aud upward by EI.
N. A. DhUPHlN
New Orleans, Ia, or
n. A. DAUPHIN Ga seventh 81, washing
ton, u. y u''
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
BADLY LEFT.

\ summer evening,
a low square room,
one half III On.lig"ttl
And half In gloom.
From out the stiffness
\ girl voice floats,
Md charms hay soul
With its sad sweet notes.
The music draws me,
With wilchery sweet,
To lay my heat
II the singers feet.
/ pause a moment,
And, while wait,
! hear the latch
OF the garden gate.
\ shadow darkepS
The moOnl!t Square
\ touch falls soft
On the girl'S bright hair.
\ sudden silence
\ startled cry
And they are happy!
Eut whore am |"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30
Saved Him 1900 Dollars

ADAMS, y. ., JhD ~ iho<.
ET. T.. J. Kendall "a, O"nih:- Having
Iscu "A yopi deal ~ youT KeRdall's SPAWN
.ure with great suCcsr', thought ] wnuId
iet ON know what n hr- dome Tor me. NV"
wears ago had speedy "a colt ~ was eve'
raised 10 Jeficr.On county When wEbrtAk
ny him no kicked over ne cross har nm gT
fnsi and tore On" ~ hIs and legs nll IN pieces
iemplOyed the hest fBrTiers. bnt they sIksaid
no was spoiled, lie had n very large thor.
pugli.Iln, ard Used two bottles 81 your
KcrdsiI's 5yaviu Cure. and II took the bunch
entirely on, and he -Oih after wards forslSD
dollars. / have used II for bono spawn and
wind gals. and II has always cured com.
rletnly and left the leg smooth.
n - a spi. ndh Drsirtnc for VheuDatisfn-
haNe recommended II 10 good many: and
they all say !, does the work. was In with.
rringiOn Is Kugeland's drug store, Ia Adams,
he other day and saw very nDe picture y"v
sent them. tried To buy II, but couh not
they said " would write IN you that you
would send me one. wish yen would, aud
| viii do you all the good can.
yery resper''uIif, E.S. Lyman.