Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-02-23
An OId.Fashioned Lyceum lecture.

An OId-FashiOned Lyceum Lecture.
Reader, ddst ever deliver lecture at
a country 'lyceum p If so, read the follow
ing. 1t is good. 1--WE have been there."
Mrs Brown having alecture upon the Par
thenon, was invited to deliver it before the
lyceum Of Walnutville Knowing of Wal
nutville only that it was fifteen miles from a
railroad, Mrs. Brown suggested a more popu-
lar subject. No; Walnutvlle wanted the
Parthenon. At the station named in the let
ter of direction Mrs. Brown saw O stage, and
soon its driver said
"Be you the lecturer for walnutville?"
YES"
"Wa'al, git right in and you hain't no
need to pay no fare neither, for I'm the COM
mittee that wrote you"
Mrs. Brown was the only passenger, and
the driver cheered the long and lonely way
by telling her, Folks was thinkin' a sight
about seein' on her, lots on 'em rememberin
her grandsir." They were only four hours
on the road, and when the time for the lee
ture came Mrs. Brown was escorted to the
hall by the same gentleman. On the way he
exhorted her to speak up, and not be like
them Methodist wimmen, who mumbled so
folks did not know when to say 'Hallelu-
jah. >"
The hall, an unpainted building consisted
of a great room with an enormous outside
door opening directly into it, There were
seats against the wall upon two sides, which
the stage driver explained as being the place
where 'the old men sot town-meetin' day."
| The people who were in their seats turned
round und gszed at Mrs. Brown while she
| took off her wraps and put on her gloves.
Telling her escort she was ready he said he
warn't a-goin' upon that roostrum to make q
fool of himself; the minister had got to do
that"
While waiting for the minister, and endur-
ing the staring of the audience, Mrs. Brown
diverted her mind by wondering why a row
of men were seated at the back of the plat
form. Finally curiosity conquered.
"What are those men up there for"
Them? Why, they're the Walnutvile
brass band, and they're goin to play. Don't
they have no bands where you come from 2"
Fortunately, Mr.. Snow, the minister, ap-
pcared then, and Mrs. Brown trailed meekly
up the aisle after him. Obedient to his ges-
ture, she sat down, and he said 1--WE will
unite in prayer"
That exercise disposed of, MIR. Snow pro-
cee1ei: "The Walnutville brass band will
favor US with Columbia, the gem of the
ocean,
The performance was stunning deafening
but before breath or hearing could be regain
ed the agile clergyman was again on his feet
The chorister of the Baptist church will
now delight the audience with a song
There's good time coming, boys wait
little longer"
The chorister walked slowly to the steps of
the platform, and waited, looking severely at
| Mr.. Snow.
81 forgot to say" shouted that much -af-
| ficted man, that he will be accompanied by
his daughter on Mason and Hsmlin instru-
ment'
Then the father and daughter mounted the
stage, the organ was wheeled into its place,
and the performers had a good time, if no.
body else did.
The audience was Indifferent to an alarm
ing degree, looking to Mrs. Brown like scores
of duplicates of the goodness Pasht who sits
and glares at the people in the British Muse
um.
Again Mr.. Snow: Mrs. Brown will now
read us a piece on the Parthenon."
Mrs. Brown stepped to the front, and amid
stiffness so profound that she could hear the
breathing of persons near her, read her piece.
| 1t took an hour, aud during all that time the
death-ike quiet was broken but once and
then d boy who had climbed up on the out
side, and peeped in at a window, informed
his companions in hoarse whisper that ''she
warnt no great to look at, anyhow" Not
hand stirred nor even an eyelid moved when
! the IdIluGuOu WAS euueu Dul MI DuOW hl-
lowed no time for embarrassment, for he was
at once on his feet:
The chorister of the Methodist church
will sing Rocked in the cradle of the deep
He will accom- pauy himself"
The same mastery indifference while the
Methodist chorister rocked himself violently
backward and forward, and while he was wip-
ing his heated brow after he had returned to
his seat. But indefstigable Mr.. Snow knew
no WEAKNESS
The band will again delight US with March
ing through Georgia."
''Hark! from the tombs, would have suit
ed the temper of the audience equally as well
to all appearance, better. Finally, the
minister concluded
"These exercises will close with benedic-
ton"
He had hardly spoken its last words when
the stage-drver shouted
Here, marin, is the money we've took.
You can take your pay out ont"
Mrs. Brown, not accustomed to approving
herself, declares she rose to that occasion,
for she turned all the money into her pocket
handkerchief, and told him she would settle
on her way to the train. One or two people
walked solemnly up to her, Imply shook her
hand, and said plaintively, "We have enjoyed
your lecture" but with these exceptions the
awful silence was not disturbed. To this day
Mrs Brown is in doubt if they think the
Pdrthenon an improved sewing machine or a
new kind of hay-spreader. .-Edtt0r'S Draoer
in Harper's Magazine for March,