The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-08-24
WITTICISMS

Inc ldleot Nluhic III CuuS ID CduSCd
by the heat
"Alasl alasl I loved amiss," cried an
Olive street bachelor. His friends aG-
wise him to marry her.
BlobsOn calls accomplishments "bald-
headed music"-because they haven't
got any air.
A lawyer says a client seeking re-
lease from a promise of marriage is a
man after his own heart.
What particular sail connected with
a ship would be likely to remind a
young lad Of his earlier daysy The
spanker!
An Indianapolis man puts green Cog
giles on his horse hoping to induce him
to eat wheat straw in the superstition
that it is hay.
Boston girls are so awfully cultured
that they won't call 1T the "Sweet By
and-By." They call it the "Sugared
subsequently,"
safe blowing" is looming up as a
Business. 1t has always been a phase
of human nature to indulge in blow
ing from a safe standpoint.
MY wife's sister, out in Injanna, is
dead, and she's wearing mournin' and
she thought it'd be more appropriate
like to use black tea for awhile now.
The stopping of a train of ears is said
to cost from sixty to forty cents. When
the train is stopped by another train
the prices become somewhat inflated.
A reward of 81 has been offered by
the Atlanta Constitution for the wo-
man who has learned the art of pulling
the street car bell at the right moment.
Mr.. Tilden has sent a painting called
"A hopeless Case" to the Louisville
Exposition, but will not present him
self. He says one hopeless case is
enough for any exhibition.
Vicious stranger; "WhO is that
gaWky youth who can't manage his
crush hat?" Student: well, | rather
think that's my brother" "V.S s.: 40!
l beg your pardon, l might have known
It'll mean, o." Student: Take me
to mamma"
A distressed mother who called upon
a doctor to learn if there wasn't some
medicine that would cure her daughter
of the habit of indiscriminate flirting,
was advised to give the girl plenty of
salt. He said all that allied her was she
was too fresh.
The high-school girl explained to her
particular friend that "He kicked the
bucket" was slang, and that the polite
expression was ale proplled his pedal
extremities with violence against a fl
milar utensil used for the t%ransporta.
tion of water and other fluids"
George Washington never told a lie
and Eli Perkins never-or hardly ever
told the truth, and Ellis name is men.
toned twenty times where Georges is
mentioned once. There is a moral here
somewhere, but in the press of bust
ness we haven't the time to dig it out.
Some curious stories are told of the
unfinished messages as the striking
operators left their seats. One i'll New
York read: aunt has just died. In
her will you are left" And here the
dazed relative had to stay until the
manager took the key and knished the
sentence.
Mamma where do the COWS get theil
milk?" asked Willie, looking up from
the foaming pan of milk, which he haC
been regarding. "Where do you ge'
your tears?" was the answer. Aftel
thoughtful silence he again broke out
mamma, do the cows have to b'
spanked"
"Who is that man." ooh, he is ont
of the most prominent Irish-Ameri
cans" "Who is the other one?" "H'
is a distinguished German-American.
sAnd that one?" "a well known
French-American." Sand the one owe
there with a bundle under his arm ?
Oh, he's nobody-nothing but al
American
A genuine dude has struck Laramie
He has Il homeopathic head and all
Opathic feet. His pants are 50 tigh
that he never takes them off, and h
has 4 plate glass window in one eye
The other one is closed for repairs. II
got on the widest kind of a de
bauch last night with half an Q
pepper sauce and a bunch of cigarettes
He halls from New York.
Ten years ago two loving hearts wer
separated by a little quarrel, owing
the,miscarriage of an explanatory lei
ter. He went west and married, sh
stayed east and married, and both al
once more free. He has eight childre
and the jaundIce, she seven and the dy:
pepsia, and neither has any idea of ma
rying again. Truth May be strange
than fiction, but it is not so romantic.
The Cincinnati Enquirer has the TO