Morning journal and courier., 1883-10-25
WIDE.

The hotel cook should be given wide range.-NeW Orleans PicaJune.
 Competitors are the most generous people in the world. They are always setting len up.--The Judge.
 ''No," said the eloping woman, there isn't the least likelihood that my husband will dis cover our whereabouts. He's Now York detective. ."-Boston Post.
 Another s'old shoe house. has failed. This should teach manufacturers the folly of em barking in the business of making old shoes It doesn't pay.-Norristown Herald.
 Emerson's latest biographer informs u; that the poet-philosopher' s favorite horse wat an animal named ''Star.' Which explains what Emerson meant when he advised his reader to s'hitch his wagon 70 Star. ''- Rochester Post-Express.
 A German accosted broad brimmed speci men from Texas on Wisconsin street Sunday. "Who vos you, I don't know?" Looking the inquisitiVe German in the face, he replied, q am a cowboy" Dots good" replied our German friend, "Shake. I vos bully boy doo." They shook.-Peck's Sun.
 A temperance man orating at 8 soldiers banquet out west had occasion to repeat the couplet: ''Their bones are mouIdering in the dust. Their spirits are in heaven, we trust but instead of 'spirits" he used the word ''stimulants," ss being less offensive to some good church members whom hs saw present. Burlington Free Press.
 Right on the heels of the Republican defeat in Ohio comes the distressing news of the death of Doctor Skrieshooski, formerly the leader of the Czech party" We hoped this blow would have been spared us. But what the dickens is ''Czech' party? It can't be any Czicker than the Republican party in Ohio just noW.-NorriAtoWn Herald.
 Vain regret 'I wish I had saved up money enough to pay my debts, said an innpecunious Austin man, sadly. ''Why do you feel so badly about it ?" inquired an &C., quaintance. Ut is your creditors who feel badly, not you. Why do you wish you had saved up money enough to pay your debts ?'' ''Why, if I only had I would be the richest man in this town."-Texss Siftings.
 "A Nebraska widow with twenty one chil- dren is advertising for 8 husband" There is great virtue in printers ink; it has brought fortunes to both men and women !; but we don't believe double column adver- tisement inserted next to reading matter ev- cry day for six months, could bring 8 hus- band to widow with twenty-one children unless the latter are kept in the background, or underground, or somewhere. We dislike to go back on advertising, but the line must be drawn somewhere. -Norristown Herald
 ''Please, num-" called the chambermaid from the head of the stairs, there's a man up here" ''Who is it?'' "A porch climb err What does he want?" He's after your diamonds and jewelry.' ''Oh, is that all? didn't know but he was after the lead pipe and gas fixtures Come down and let him alone. My husband is perfectly able to buy 'em back, and 1t will make an attractive item in the newspapers. Oh, say?" "What, mum?' You might ask him the name of his agent, but let it go The detectives can tell us in the morning It will be respect able business man of course, and he won't charge anything beyond the usual oommfs- sion "-Dctroit Free Press.