The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1883-08-17

painted the cheeks of her dying hus-
band to make his complexion match
her pink wrapper.
One of the most trying moments
in a mans life is when he is getting
his picture taken to send to his best
girl, and is just assuming his most
angelic expression and a fly alights
On his nose.-Williamsport Grit.
"You had better ask for manners
than money!" said q fnely-dressed
gentleman to a beggar boy who had
asked for aims. 81 asked for what I
thought yon had the most Of" was
the boys reply.
"Mama," said a little Covington
boy, "what does 'hcluffa' mean?"
"Why, my child, l don't know. l
never heard such a word. Where
did you hear it?" 'Papa said It,"
"When?""Sunday morning. l heard
him tell Mr.. Jones that church was
a helutfa place to 60 when the fishing
was so fine"
Mr.. Bergh, the S. p. C. A. man,
says it is cruelty to animals to catch
fish with a hook. There wouldn't be
much fun in fishing if a man had to
dive under the water and hold chic.
reform to a tish's nose until 1t be-
comes unconscious, and then hit it on
the head with a hammer.-Norris-
town Herald.
The following froma floating para.
graph Is not so bad: ga liquor seller
presented his bill to the executor of
a deceased customers estate, asking,
DO you wish my bill sworn to? NO.
said the executor, the death of the
deceased Is sufficient evidence that
he had the liquor"
AT the wrong door-At the Terrace
baths last Sunday an impatient young
man walked 1p to the door of n of
the compartments, and knocking at
the same, testify inquired: "When in
blazes are you going to get those
trousers on?" There was a FAINT gig
gle and then a silvery voice replied:
"When ] get married, l suppose" He
had mistaken the door; that's ALL
San Francisco Post.
A lot of old chaps were sitting
around the other evening telling sto-
ries, and one bet the treats he could
tell the biggest lie. The crowd got
ready and the first man led off.
sit happened this way, boys" said
he, "away out west. In those days l
was a gentleman, and"
"iiold on interrupted the entire
gang, "that's enough. Wen pay for
the drinks. What'll you take?"
And it was so.-Merchant and
Traveller.
Near Eureka, New. lives a man
and his wife in perfect bliss, who got
to quarreling a couple of years ago,
after living pleasantly together FOL
thirty years, and agreed to divide
everything, even to a board partition
in the bed. This lasted some time,
until n morning, when the old man
was lying about half asleep, the old
lady peered over the board and ejac-
ulated: "Bless his dear old heart.''
The husband, starting up, said: ado
you NEAR that?:" The answer was
in the affirmative, and the old fellow
roared: Take away the board"
81 feel to night" said a lady, who
was always at a loss for a word, alta
musical party the other evening, 81
feel tonight like alike alike a.
dear me, how stupid I am! Like "a"
"a morning star" suggested her
husband.
"No, dear; like a. What are
those birds that sing after dark"
mosquitoes"
"What norsens yon do talk! Of
course not. Well, now, how annoy
ing!!"
"Betsybugs."
Rubbish! Dear me, it's extremely
annoying. What is 1t l feel like? l
knew what it is just as we'll as any
thing. Those birds that never sing
except at night time"
"Cats!!"
The latter suggestion of her hus-
band was rejected with scorn, and
she remarked that it was of no conse-
quenc, she would probably think Of
it by-and-by. About 2 o'clock the
following morning Harry was dream
ing that, while on top of a beer bar
rel, it exploded; when he was blown
clear into the middle of a Sandwich
Island barbecue. Just as the odor of
roasted missionary greeted his o
trils, he was awakened by his wife.
"Harryl Harry"
"Whaf's the matter now?:"
give got it."
"What, the colic?"
"No, pet; it's the nightingales."
"Where do you feel them, pet?"
90! you stupid; I've the word
couldn't think of tonight. I feel like
a nightingale"
"l'm sorry for it," and he turned
over and went to sleep.