The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-09-08

tory? There is no law against it and
everybody would be glad to soc him go
Especially the Indians, ALPHABETICALLY
the white men.
The Chinese have good war ships. but
the trouble is said to be that their sail.
ors leave them when they hear tina,
fighting is to be done. This shows lev
cl-hcadedness on the part of the sailors,
but it is rather at disadvantages to the
Government.
a Cincinnati firm had for years kept
in a drawer all the counterfeit money
received in the course of business, and
the other night burglar got in and
took every cent. 1t is supposed the
burglar will write IN indignant commit
nication to the press rs soon Is he Gains
sufficiently to handle Il pen.
The Princess Louise is going to send
u number of her paintings, both oil and
water color, TO the Boston exposition
next October. There seems to be set
tied determination on the part of the
royal family, to bring about war be-
tween the United States and England
yet.
An ambitious Burlington woman or
dered q new poke bonnet Make the
bonnet rs big rs the price" In about
Il week hay wagon, having scared all
the street ears off the track on its way,
halted and drew up in front of her
house with Il thing on it so much big.
ger than the block, that the woman
couldn't keep it in town without paying
storage to the city.
A news item says that the brain of a
circus employee, found dying near Mid
dletown. weighed tifty-six ounces. the
same size rs that of the first Napoleon
and of Daniel Webster" OF course he
was the man who wrote the circus adj
vertisements. 1t requires genius with
Websterian brain TO perform such q
task.
A New York society note says: son
Fifth avenue lives lady who drives
out every afternoon in bonnet trim
med with clusters OF tiny green apples"
1t is 4 decidedly strange freak of fash
ion, that of utilizing Il bonnet as phae-
ton and driving out in though some
of the bonnets worn ut theatres are
plenty large enough for such n purpose.
-NOrriSt0lon Herdld.
What influence has the moon on the
tide?' the teacher asked John Henry.
And John Henry said it depended on
what was tied; if it was dog it made
him howl, and if it was gate it united
it. Just rs soon rs the cow or the Young
man came along. 1t is such things as
this that make school teachers want to
lie down and die every day at o clock.
-Burlington Hawkeyc.
A frequent scene ut the Post Office
stamp-window: Clerk" another cent,
please Customer-''Wcll, | guess
not. The Two-Cent law commenced on
the LIST of July Clerk--"You are mis-
taken. 1t doesn't 60 into effect until
October. Another cent, please. Hurry
up Customer Gndignantly)-'W We'll,
take it, but think it's an outrage. -
AdriaW Times.
A New York schoolma am complains
that too much favoriiism is shown by
the school trustees. She says pretty
teachers are promoted to the exclusion
of their palmer sisters. although the
latter may be more intelligent. Twas
ever thus. The pretty teacher Is also
promoted to the position of
wife to the exclusion of the homely
teachers about II year after mar
riage she wishes she were single and
teaching the fourth class in the primary
department.
\ man in Massachusetts was sent to
reform school for breaking windows
and stealing apples when he was nine
years old; then he stole II dog and went
to prison when he was eleven; he got
out in time 10 set fire to II house and got
n two years sentence before he was six
teen, and picked II pocket and got run
in on his nineteenth birthday. Before
he was old enough 20 vote he received
Il years sentence. and since then he has
served three terms is as many prisons.
1t is time he quit this restless, wander
ing lite, and found some gooi, quiet
prison that suited him, where he could
settle down and stay. GHr'ingtOn
Hawkegc.