Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-05-17
Helena, Montana, Thursday, May II, 1888.
He Broke Him Up.
ISan Francisco Post.

The other morning, while the urbane man
aper of Woodward's Gardens was smoking
four-bit cigar and meditatively listening to
the muffied walls of tomcat that had just
been swallowed alive by the big anaconda, a
tall, thin, scientiic-looking man, with goa
tee and blue glasses, entered the gate and re-
marked in an insinuating manner:
"Of course you pass the scientific fra
ternity?"
"Of course we do not" said the Snowman,
emphatically.
"What, not the savants. not the pioneers
in the great march of the mind into
the hitherland of the infinite beyond ?"
returned the professor, with great surprise.
81 will not deceive you," sarcastically re-
piled the proprietor of the only salamander
1--WE pass nothing but the quills on the fret
full porcupines-I mean the press. You can't
see the ostriches unless you come down and
put up"
Dear me, dear me-" sighed the scientist,
rehectively ITO think that professor OF
cosmographic conchology should be denied
admittance to third-class Zoo! Has the
Skamgatibus been fed yet?"
"Sam- which?" asked the tiger i'm
porter.
"Why, the skamgatibus you've got one,
haven't you?"
"Ye-e-s-s; believe we've a small female
somewheres," said the grizzly's friend doubt
ingly: . ers+ o,oso collection
to have less than two pair" said the Pro-
fessor contemptuously how do your All
muths stand this cold weather, eh ?''
"Azimuths?" asked the Napoleon aggre-
gator of curiosities whats them? Some
new kind of bird-you don't mean ostri-?"
"Ostriches be hangedw said the successor
of Darwin; "ostriches are nothing. I've got
more ostriches with quail shot than you've
hairs on your head. You don't actually
mean to sit there and tell me you haven't
got single Azimuth to your back ?"
Don't believe l have" admitted the alli-
gator breeder, mortified; what are they
like?"
ooh they are of the order Spinalis spic-
mot-about eight feet high: Fur peels OF IN
the spring, you know-the Siberian species,
| mean. | suppose you've got one of those
Rectangular African Flipgoohlies that reach
ed New York the other day."
No; Pm hanged if did, said the much
agitated Snowman "here I've been keeping
an agent in New York on a big salary to
look out for attractions and he doesn't catch
on to the first blame thing. Spends all our
money on secondhand panthers and kanga-
roos With the rheumatics, I'll bounce him by
Telegraph ~ -.
Haven't even got Flipgoohly, eh ?'
unused the scientist, in tone of great pity.
And | shouldn't be surprised if you didn't
have a Golden Crested Cuspidor in your
whole show"
Neither l have-neither l have" replied
the wretched promoter of pelicans In tone
of great bitterness. Spose you just step in,
sir. and look round mebbe there's some
thing else you could say"
"N-n-o, guess not" said the tall man. 1T
would hardly pay me to spend so much
valuable scientific time in fourth-class
show like this. Not even an Azimuth, eh
| should think you'd be afraid of being act
ually mobbed sometime. Pm sorry for you,
my man; sorry for you. I've no doubt you
mean well, but-not a solitary Skamgatlbus
Great Scottw
And as the disciple of Audubon passed into
a saloon across the street and swapped lead
nickel for glass of beer the barkeeper
heard him chuckle something to the effect
that he had got even on that old hyena
puncher, and don't you forget it.