The Portland daily press., 1883-04-11

and did issue anonymously a sketch Of his /
Administration which, on account of its inn
personal nature and want of human interest,
was merely noticed and antagonizel in the
press, and hardly passes oday for Buchau-
ans own book. He then resolved on his
tory, and with splendid materials for it
chose IN succession several biographies who /
drank his whiskey, loiiered about his house
and made capital gossips and cronies, but
never proceeded To any appreciable extent |
with the composition. Among these was |
Jim Skunk, son of an old Dutch Governor |
of Pennsylvania and friend of Andrew Jack |
son, who had literary incllnations with hard |
ly any industry, and who had hsen during |
Pierce's and Buchanan's Administrations
one of the social time killers at the capital
and had married there the brilliant daugh-
ter of Judge Jeremiah s. Black.
book contemporary with those times
describes this wedding as one of the great
episodes of Buchanan's Administrator.
Skunk had a fondness for lager beer, and
when that was not at hand whiskey would
do, and Mr.. Buchanan kept in his cellar
some of the finest whskey, distilled, in bet
ter times than ours for that business, in the
Cumberland Valley. Buchanan, aware that
his years were numbered, told his life into
Shunk's ear and brought his letters out,
but the book did not seem to grow, while
Skunk got mellower every day and his face
shone richer and warmer, and he, so to
speak, rumnated this life into himself, and
finally Buchanan had to find another biog-
rapher; the tremendous responsibility killed
Skunk, who vegetated while on the Harris
burg and the Easton press, and was gener-
ally introduced as Mr.. Buchanan's biogra-
pher, but he died, aud his widow has long
been married again.
After two or three other persons had
stepped into Shunks shoes and ruminated
and tapped the whiskey in the cellar and de-
| parted among their fathers, William d.
Reed, an old Wing prosecuting attorney OF
| Philadelphia, who had been Buchanan's
Minister to China, took up the task; he was
of a tart and yindictive nature, and kept
stepping out of the line of biography TO
chastise his innumerable opponents, OF
whom his mind was full, and Buchanan APP
| pretended that when the great book was
done he would have just five times as many
| enemies as he ever had before, so he dis
| charged Reed, or rather Reed got into inan-
cial troubles about large sums Of money
| which had been put into his hands by Eng
| lish rebel sympathizers for investment III
| this country land his great library and coun-
| try house had to be sold, and without his
| books he had less literary knack; so he came
over to New York and spent several years
writing editorials, and be departed this life
quite broken hearted.
How many other persons have had hack
at Mr.. Buchanan's papers the recording an
gel NAV have noted, though his industry
must have suffered. Now Mr.. Curtis an
nounces that the big book is done and going
to set everything right, and wipe OIL MI
Buchanan's face, and pat HIM on that shelf
to which Fitz John Porter, Calhoun and
Aaron Burr have been consigned by postum
nous eulogists and called the whitewash
shelf.
was recently told a good yarn about Jim
Skunk foregoing and the hnmorist Mark
Twain. Skunk was always laying for celeb
rites, and when Mark Twain got to Harris
burg ten or twelve years ago, Skunk, with
his CLASSY blue eye, seized him and told vari-
Gus "reminiscences such as the biosrapher Of
Buchanan kept in pickle, and the two liked
!, each other so much that they went on te
Carlisle, where Twain was to lecture the fol
| lowing night, and there Skunk led the way
to a lager beer saloon 10 a cellar, and the
two never emerged until the Carlisle people
, finding the lecture hour approaching, were
, | in considerable excitement. Herman Bos
Ter, brother of James Bosler. the town mil
lionaire, went down to the last train which
could arrive from anywhere, and no MARI
J Twain was to be seen. Said he: "Wha
are we to do? That audience has assem-
bled, and on to-nights lecture we expectet
to make further draft upon the purse anC
} patience of our audience" A person giyer
to beer spoke up and said: Il think you
will find that man downin the sergeant.
!. beer cellar" The sergeant was an ole
| German cavalry soldier out of ser.
vice in the neighboring barracks, an6
he keeps to this day the chief beer saloon
for students and burghers. The lectur,
| committee went down into his cellar, anG
there they found Buchanan's biographer ane
Sam Clemens exchanging the one hundretL
"Reminiscences on our fifteenth President
Mr.. Bosler took the sergeant aside and said
, "How many glasses of beer have those meI
!, drunk?'' The sergeant consulted his record
and there were sixty four glasses apiecs
charged up to the two gentlemen. Bosle
/, took a mute and hesilating survey OF his lee
: | turer, and said to him: do you general,
require an introduction to your audienees'
"a s tS afEsiq Mpss eEsss sfes 1ssr &c
{ arm and show me the way to the stage ant
that's all right. Mr.. Bosler said TO friend
"On pretelce of walking him to the hall dc
!, | you just walk him around through most oi
the streets Of the town; don't be in a hurr,
about 1t so he gets plenty Of walk" At this
Mr.. Skunk prOvidentialy sank into his sea
and ordered the sixty-ffth glass Of beer
There must have been something preserva
tive in the "reminiscences of Buchanan, fol
Clemens went through his lecture without
hitch anywhere, and departed for Harris
burg in the company Of Mr.. Buchanan's bi
ographer, who in confidence informed hin
| again that he had been chosen by the Presi
: dent to write the great book.
: Skunk related little tale, opening Wheat
lands life mp fragrantly to me one day. FL,
was sitting in that large old bachelor house
| where Buchanan was afterWard exposed In
: his coffin to the surrounding country, wher
a servant came in and said to Buchanan tina
"a stranger gentleman passing through the
country desired 10 shake hands with the ex.
President. Buchanan took the card the
: man had sent in, and finding the residence
written upon it, exclaimed in that cold
trickling voice, like an artieulate icicle
which he possessed; Another damned
took another pull at the old j. B. whiskey
in the cellar, but as he came up stairs he
was surprised to hear the same icicle going
through the sounds of pretty hearty laugh.
Again and again the laughter came out of
the room, and for nearly two hours that
Yankee reeaotured the ex-Presdent and
brought him back into the voices and hui
mors of life. When finally the man depart
ed and Skunk stepped before the subject of
the biography again, Buchanan remarked in
the same cold gurging voice: "He's not
such a bad fellow, after ALL" Skunk always
became greatly excited If anybody printed
these anecdotes which he constantly was
letting out: Gracious neavensr' he would
say, "Mr. Buchanan is the most sensitive
man in the world on those matters" but it
unfortunately happened that the only parts
of the Skunk biography which ever did see
the light were those betrayed by Shunks
gossips TO the newspapers.
MIR. Skunk was not the only man who
magniied his biographership. once knew
man of very agreeable exterior and tall fig
ure, with refined features and fine set Of
white teeth, who invariably introduced him
self a few moments after he met anybody,
with the words: 81 am the biographer, sir,
| of Chief-Justice Taney.o He said this In
such polite way that it often escaped COM
ment, but any person who followed this Mr.
| Tyler Familiarity as did could not help get
| ting good deal of amusement out of It. I
| often introduced him to members Of Con-
| gress or Senators,--his acquaintance being
rather small in the Republican party, as he
| was an ardent advocate OF the pro-slayery
regime,-to watch him get in the remark,
and he was very expert about it: "Chief-
Justice fancy, sir, whose biographer, by
| the way, am" For several years | saw
that gentleman, often three or four times a