Connecticut western news., 1883-04-11

to play with more than one finger at & time, and that finger should be sore. This is indispensable for the acquire ment of that highly prized accomplish ment of pianists, delicacy of touch. When child becomes passionately fond of the instrument; and it is probable that it will develop into great musician, the piano should be insured and burned, and the child sent to the Reform Farm.
 DIDN'T SEEM POSSIBLE.
 A citizen of Detroit, says the Free Press. who had been to Lansing on business was returning the other day when an old farmer, going East with his wife. took the next seat back and opened conversation which lasted almost into the city. Then he happened to mention something about Europe which the farmer doubted, and the citizen pro tested:
 "But | have been there and know"
 "What You bin to Yurup"
 "Yes."
 "Bin in England and France?"
 "I have"
 "Bin to Rome and seen the ruins?"
 "Yes."
 ''Bin right in Paris?"
 F'I was there two months.
 "By cracky, Maria p said the old man, as he turned to his wife, "here's feller who's bin all over Yurup and rides with Us hull half day before he lets on word Why, the Bixbys didn't go no further than Boston, and the fust night they got home they kept the hull town up till o'clock in the morning to tell about pavements and pictur' halls and opera houses and street cars and door bells which would ring by pressing on button Wall, wall Bin to Yurup and not Dragging over it v
 THE PRICE OF IT.
 The following communication, re- ceived by us several days ago, explains itself: "MR. EDITOR: ENCLOSED please find n,s which hope may be accepted by you for PUBLICATION. Io the EVENT of your making USE of san,e, PLEASE . have PRINTERS put in type in EXACT accordance with UNDERsooRING, punctuation, ETC, as PER COPY. Printers FREQUENTLY take GREAT liberties with MANUSCRIPT, thereby DIS- PORTING the AUTHORS naedming almost BEYOND recognition. The PRICE of the article is FJUe DOLLARS" We allowed our compositions to print the above in exact accordance with our fastidious correspondents lavishly un- derscored copy, and, after seeing the proof, we are free to confess that we would hesitate to print his THREE COLUMN ARTICLE as he desires that it should ap- pear for less than NINE THOUSAND DOLLARS.-Cjncinnati Saturday Night.
 PICKS BAD BOY. "What did your pa drive you away from home for p asked the Groceryman of the Bad Boy.
 "Oh, it was on account of St. Patricks Day." said the Bad Boy as he bit off half a pound of maple sugar, and dried his tears. ''You see, pa never sees ma buy new silk handkerchief, but he wants it. 'Tother day ma got one of these orange colored handkerchiefs, and pa immedi- ately had sore throat and he wanted to thought I would break him of taking everything nice that ma got, so when he went down town with the orange hand kerchief on his neck, told some of the St. Patrick boys in the Third Ward, who had green ribbons on, that the old duffer that was putting on style was an orange man, and he said he could whip any St. Patrick's Day man in town. The fellers laid for pa, and when he came along one of them threw barrel at pa, and an other pulled the yellow handkerchief off his neck, and they all yelled hang him, and one grabbed rope that was on the sidewalk where they were moving & building, and pa got up and dusted. You'd dide to see pa run. He met a policeman and said more'n a hundred men had tried to murder him, and they had mauled him and stolen his yellow handkerchief The policeman told pa his life was not safe, and he better go .. home and lock himself in, and he did, !, and I was telling ma about how got the
 boys to scare pa, and he heard it, and he told me that settled it. He said had caused him to run more foot races than any champion pedestrian, and had made D his life unbearable, and now must go it alone. Now, want you to send couple of pounds of crackers over to the house, and have your boy tell the hired girl that have gone down to the river to drown myself, and she will tell ma, and ma will tell pa, and pretty soon you will see a bald-headed man whooping it up D toward the river with rope. They may think at times, that I am little tough, but when it comes to parting for ever, they weaken"