Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1883-08-31
A SH GKING AFFAIF.
A Strong Argument in Favor OF
Temperance.
Arkansaw Traveller.

position. The other day on the COCA
sien of a funeral in Little Rock, the
chiet mourners took passage in the
vehicle of a we'll known hackman, who
had ever distinguished himself on flu.
neral occasions as a profoundly sor-
rowful driver. The affair was con.
Quoted in the old fashioned way with
the hearse in front, but by some mis-
take in arranging the procession, the
carriage containing the chief mourners
brought up the rear. The hackman,
in preparing himself had mixed his
drinks, and by the time the procession
started he was decidedly drunk, but
he kept his place on the seat, and
was asleep when the procession
turned a corner. His team did not
turn, but kept straight on. The chief
mourners, blinded by tears and CO.
logne and handkerchiefs, did not OBJ
serve the deviation. The team went
out to the end Of the street and then
turned into country road. After
they had gone about three miles into
the country one Of the mourners re.
marked:
ut seems that we are long time
getting there"
"Yes," said another, looking out.
why, look here, we are out in the
country, aud the hearse amt in sight!
Stop the hack, driver. Say, driver"
Hail"
Stop the hack"
Whoa! What's the matter, boys;
anything broker"
The mourners got out and one of
them said: Where have you brought
usP"
"Where'd you Wanter go?"
ITO the graveyard, you blamed
fool"
Graveyard. Oh, yes, that's SO; but
they've moved it on. Was out here
the other day. Wonder what they've
done with it2 Where did the other
fellers go?"
1 am a great mind to maui you,
said the chief mourner, "and if this
wasn't the occasion of funeral I'd do
| it,
That's all right, cap'n. Git out Of
the way. I've got a load for the
depot"
"Ain't you going to take us to the
cemeteryP"
Not to. day, Cap'n. Like to com.
MEDIATE you, but amt got time now.
Git up, and he drove away.
IF | had pistol I'd shoot the
scoundrell' the chief mourner indig.
nantly exclaimed, naturally and hopes
leSsly thrusting his hand into his hip
pocket. IN see him after this thing
is over and settled with him."
Say, we've got to get to the burial
somehow" said a deputy mourner.
Lets go up to the house and get a
wagon" {
They secured an open wagon and
reached the graveyard just at the con.
clusion of the last sad rites. The
minister gave the chief mourner con-
temptuous look and said:
This is a nice way to treat me, to
say nothing of the manner in which
the corpse has been neglected. Nice
turnout you've got. III had known
that you we've too stingy to hire hack
| would have gotten one for you"
I'VE started in hack, but"
You didn't do anything of the
kind. You got wagon because 1t was
cheaper"
you are a liarl" exclaimed the
chief moufner.
THAT settles it," said the minister,
depositing his hymn book and specta-
Giles on the newly made mound. That
brings it to focus. No man can call
me liar and attend to his meals with
his wonted regularity. The last man
who called me a liar has been used asa
fertilizer.
you bet, said the chief mourner,
taking off his coat, that when I'm
used as fertilizer the ground will be
so rich that the corn stalks will look
like upright saw logs and the pea
vines will show up like cable ropes
Cut your capers."
just at this moment the undertaken
and hearse driver interposed, which To
some extent accounts for the infertil-
ty OF our soil.