Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1883-11-29
HERE AND THERE.

The president of the assizes court, ques-
tioning lady Witness Your age, madam
The lady Tin a low voice)-TwenIy
two. observation-disclosures you say,
madam The lady Quickly NO, sir,
twenty-seven. Clarion.
Now, would you believe itf A man
who for six years held the position Of
professional humorist on great daily
told us recently that III his private opinion
the mule ia more dooile, kicks less often
and not 80 hard as the average horse
Boston Post
An editor In Kankakee
Once falling In a burning passion
With yexatiouS rival, he
Wrote him letter in this fashion
you're an ass uncouth and rude,
And will be one eternally"-
Then, in an absent minded mood,
He signed it, yours, traternally."
Chicago Ne,os.
The Philadelphia Call says, in it's ad-
vice to wives: ''Put down bedroom
carpets late in the day, when it is too
dark TO see where you drop your tscks.
When your husband gets up at night
and goes searching around tor the pare
goric he will find them and perhaps pick
them up for you."
A wealthy Minnesota man has built
house which he believes TO be tornado
proof Its corners are souts its sides
sink into retreating angles. The roof has
curves and grooves like a. shell, and the
walls are thiokest below, and almost like
those of a fortress. The whole structure
is anchored, and the seems in the wood
work run in obliqut lines.
The various phases of the tender pas
sion have thus been exemplifed A ship
is fotlishly in love when she is attached
to buoy she Id prudsntly in love when
she leaves the buoy for the pier; she
places her affection beneath her when she
Is snchoring after heavy swell, and she
| ia desperately in love when she is tender
to man-of war. Judge, ...5-
"Miss Q )" ssid professor at the
Normal, you will have an Grafton next
Friday, and you may take as subject,
The King of Spain.'" "oh, professor,
cannot. That would be impossible"
"Impossibie Why ?" because 4. ia
impossible for king to be subject"
Intense excitement in the Disqualification
Independent
| "How is it you never married CharleyY"
| "Oh, don't know except that Iemained
1 VI,
you tried 10 get that Podgkins girl q year
or two ago S'' Eyes, did ask her to
marry me-" "And she wouldn't have
your" THAT'S about the size of it. So
| remained ringle from choice-her choice,
you know. "--BoSton Transcript
~ am passionately fond OF lowers %
said Miss Fusssntgather to Algernou, tia
other evening. al always have some
kind Of flower stout ma" well, |
can tell you," replied the devoted Alger-
non, 18th It you must have had mighty
mean kind OF flower with you last night,
for have worked GU the lapel of my coat
for an hour and l haven't got it all of
yet % -..=s
Look a. here, Pat" said real estate
owner, "you've got To move or pay your
rent" "Be jabers, I'll do nathur y
"Well, III show you" snow don't bt
after tockin' that way, Mishter Brownin'
let ush rsison awhile togither AT yei
put me- out by lab, II will cost yez ski
dollars an SIXTY cints, an at yez movt
me out yersilf, 1t will cost yez only foui
dollars. Now phat will yez do2" TIL,
owner sent q team around and moved
him.
clergyman who owns farm foun(
his ploughmsn sitting OF his plougl
J resting his horses. Qouth the clergyman
y 'hu, wouid4't it he good plan TO
you to have scytne here, and be cuttiaj
q tew bushes along the tenaes while tn
horses are resting snort time Y'' ''Yes
t SIR" said John "8nd wadn't it be wee
9 for you tae hse tub o. tatties in tn
Z pooplt, aud when the folk were singin'
e peel them awhile to be ready for tn
pat 7"
A lawyer who was trying the Culve
cruelty case at New Haven the other da
"opened his mouth and stepped in it,
3 terribly. 81 wouldn't" said he, "giv
, the snap OF my finger Tor the testimon
= OF all the Culyers that ever lived.
+, Judge Culver sat on the bench, and
: recollectipg himself, the lawyer added
/ ~ mean, Your Honor, all the CGlver6 tina
!, ever lived in North Haven" But til
I Judge hsd lived in North Haven also
= Boston Journal.
Matthew ,4rnoi3 borrowed his phras,
2 'sweetaess aud light" from SSif. Til
y passage oceurs iii the famous apologize ,
u the Il Z AID Spider, IL ~" Bat - # Ii
- Book Whatsver " aRve Not hs
4 been by iuBnite labor aAd research. an
n ranging through every ,orver o. N ,tura
D the difference Is tha,. ilsteai Of Ut va
q poison, we have rather chosen to fill ou
~ lives with honey aud wax, thus iurniat
~ ing mauku's with III. two nohlest
o ting, sweetness aud light"
= Enquirer: Yod Il isu to SGT Mr.. Snaya
- and bls next door raiRhhir to fightin,
Easy enough. Some dark t'ght Just tsb
load Of asl..s and oyster cans Nd DIM,
=, them N srgyes' hack ward Us,Ii lsy
II To his siot9 "a. ard sliua Ion, ava u
u fence. The p.iphbor'll ba madter than
T. csudfdat, for office beat-n by one vol
s and win sling Fam bacx. Thsn hin,
y will hum; law suits, pulled noses IN
~ bloody headB e Ill result. and you cau d
40 back and SEA the fun.-Neo York Post
n HNr Hsrk " eei5 ti,amare.,i,g sdit,
- ,tNr W,,.tro,l tt,. ,,nno.i,,..' oa91..3;5a,
"a il pnirg To H.. al b. Go,,f..r4nrs "a. ,nn
ia r5S Vii. sba,n s3ito,t.I oa5 a;,
- him tits far tryirg to currv favor e.,
., Che CHURCHES ), .sRu. wi,au,,rty j.,
al written a l.t,ar asyins he oa,,,t !
" ,bate y rsnli.d M IJack .tsa 81, 90;
- the manaein,, aaitor uyslI -, -. ~,
IA A sleshing articla On lila dsrins IN i,nn,
=, ia La 1aorls h, ~. yillona Gu
" him good aud strong .''eBostoa IRA
Ii script
Coloral Traarsoll saya u ba oorI5,,
nab vorfa ,vitbor; daa,t j., =, :
wonldn,t mska anv Hal roy vi
in that's tba Tsason he bas,,,, mad, ~,
Is He has baen telling, for 40 man ysa,