Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-04-11
Pm EASANTRIES.

THE Cyclops We're an industrious race.
they had single eye to business.
WHEN you wake up at night and hear
the baby crying, look out for danger,
for there's rock ahead.
"WHAT is love?" asks an exchange.
Love, my friend. is thinking that you
and the girl can be an eternal picnic to
each other.-Satem Sunbeam.
A nEorURER is telling "How We
Hear" 1t is easily told. Somebody
tells friend of ours and tells him not
to tell. That's the way we hear.
SAYS Wilde to Kate Field,
"My legs are revealed"
Says Kate Field to Wilde,
$50 little-poor child"
A MAN never realizes, remarks COM
mercial traveller, how plentiful mustard
is and how scarce are bread and meat,
until he tackles a railway refreshment-
room sandwich.
Allow DO you like my bride Do
you approve of my choices" B-"Well
I must confess that in one point at least
she is far ahead of you" A" What
point do You mean?" B-"Good
taste |"
WHEN a friend asked reformed in
ebriate the cause of his reformation, he
said: GAS you are married you will
quite understand it when say getting
tipsy made me see my mcther-in-law
double |"
THE story of the discovery of a new
mammoth cave in Kentucky was hoax.
The story was started by man who
saw Gov. Blackburn's mouth when he
was shooting profanity therefrom at an
offending newspaper reporter.
The following letter to a French
statesman is printed in LIE Temps 81
have the honor to give fair notice to the
First Minister that if he refuses me the
pension for which I have applied shall
henceforth vote as my conscience die
tates."
A BOY who was recently taken to
church for the first time had his atten-
ton specially drawn to man in the
choir who was playing on bass-viol.
After leaving the church he inquired,
"Papa, what was that thing the man
kept scratching on its back with a
stick ?"
LOUIE, aged 8. saw his mother max
ing fiaxseed poultice for his croupy
brother. Louie could not see any diff
ference between faxseed and oatmeal.
So afterward, when mamma asked if
baby wanted any supper, Louie ex-
claimed: sob, mamma, he's got his
supper on rag"
MARY was very much interested in the
frosty window panes, especially after
being told that it was the work of Jack
Frost. When she awoke one morning
to find the ground covered with the first
snow she ever remembered to have seen,
she cried: sOh, grandma, see Jack
Frost has laid right DOWN.
A LITTLE girl once took letter from
her mother to an old-lady friend.
"Many thanks, my child" she said
"you may tell your mother that you
are good child and a faithful little
messenger" Thank you, ma'am and
shall I tell her, too, that I didn't ask
you for ten cents, because mamma told
me not to?"
At Sunday-school in A., the super
intendent, desiring to impress on the
small scholars the "Trinity," asked:
"How many fathers have you?" Some
answered one, others two. "Have you
not another father?" asked the super
intendent. eyes," answered small
boy of 6, grandfather. The effect
can be imagined.
THOMAS and James had new suits of
clothing at the same time. Thomas kept
his in the wardrobe, nice and clean; but
James put his right on, and wore it
every day-so it became shabby after
time. Thomas suit, on the contrary,
was as good as ever when James was
worn out. When the boys father saw
the condition of his sons clothing he
straightway bought new and nobby
suit for James; but, as Thomas suit
was as good as ever, he got no new
clothes. Both boys have now suits
equally good, but the cut of Thomas is
somewhat archaic. James says Thomas
is an awful guy. .Bnes 2ranScript,