Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1883-03-30

= 49,
GETS THE WORST OF 1T.
"You see, said the bad boy 10 1.-The
grocery man, "pa likes a joke thc@best
Of any man you ever saw, ifitlisaon
somebody else, but he kicks like 0 ssseer
when il is on him. | asked this pmora-
ing if it wouldn't be good joke so,put
some soft soap on the front door step, $50
the letter-carrier would slip up and spill
hisself, and pa said it would be- elsgsat.
Pa is u Democrat, and he thinks that
anything that will make it unplsasansipr
Republican ofice-holders is legitimate and
he encouraged me to paralyze the letter.
carrier. The lctter-carrer is as old q
man as pa. and | didn't want to humiliate
him, but | just wanted pa to give his
consent, so he couldn't kick If he got
caught in his own trap. You see 2
Well. this morning the minister and
two dcacons called on pa, to have a sulk
with him about his actions ia church
on two or three occasions, and they had
pretty hot time in the back parlor and
finally they settled it. and we're going
to sing hymn, when pa handed them
little hymn-book. aud tho minister
opened it, and turned pale aud said,
what's this ? and they looked at 10,
and it was book Of Hoyle's gamesain.
stead of hymn-book Gosh wasn't tho
minister mad :? He had started to- resd
and he quit after he had road two lines
where it said, 'In game of four handed
euchre never trump your partners ,see,
but rely on the ace TO take the trick, on
suit Pa was TRYING to explain how
the book came to be there, when tho
minister and the deacons started sut. and
then poured the two quart tin, pail,
full of soft soap on the front step. Il
was thin white soap, just the color. of tho
step, and when | got 1t spread went
down in the basement The visitors came
out and pa was trying to explain about
Hoyle, when one Of the deacons stepped
in the soap, aud his feet few up and be
struck on his pants and slid down the
steps. The minister said, great heavens,
deacon are you hurt ? Let me assist you,
and he took two quick steps, and you
have seen these fellows in Niger show
that kick each other head over heels and
and fall on their ears, and stands on
their heads and turn around like top.
The minister's feet slipped and the next
saw he was standing on bis head in
his hat, and bis legs were sort Of wilted
and he fell over on his stomach. You
talk about speeding the gospel in heather
lands. 1t is. nothing to tho way you
can spread it with two quarts Of soft soap.
The minister didn't look pious bit whom
he was trying to catch the railing. lie
looked " though he wanted 10 murder
every man on the earth, but it may DO
he was tired. Well, pa was paralyzed,
and no aud the other deacon rushed out
to pick up the minister and the first old
man, and when they struck the step they
went kiting. Pas feet somehow slipped
backwards, and he turned somersault
and struck full length on his back. and
one heel was across the minister's neck,
and he slid down the steps, and the other
deacon fell all over the other three, and
pa swore ut them, and it was tho worst
looking lot Of pious people | ever saw.
They all seemed mad ut each other.
The hired girl told ma there was three
tramps out on the sidewalk fighting pa,
and ma she took the broom and started
to help pa, and tried to stop ma, cause
her constitution is not very strong and |
didn't want her to do any flying trapeze
business, but ! couldn't stop her, and
she went out with the broom and towel
tied around her head. Well, | don't
know where ma did strike, but when she
came in she said she had palpitation Of
the Iienrt, but that was not the place
where she put the arnica. q, but she
did go through the mir like bullet
through cheese, and when she went down
the steps humpity bump felt sorry
for ma. The minister had got 80 be
could set up on the sidewalk, when I'M
came sliding down, and one of the heels
Of her CATERS bit the minister 10 the
hair aud the other foot went right through
between his arms and his SIDE and he
broom liked TO pushed his teeth down bis
throat. But he wasn't mad at ma. As
soon as be seen it was ma he said, why,
sister. the wicked stand in slippy places.
don't they and ma she was mad and
said for him to Let 20 her stocking. and
then pa was mad and he said. look
a-here. this thing has gone far enough )
and then a police came along and 6rst
he thought they were all drunk. but he
. cb;n and scraned tbs so.n og ,hsw