Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-09-01
COLONEL W-----.
Three Stories Told of an Old Time
Character in Tennessee.

Character in Tennessee
There is delightful old-tme flavor
about the following Tennessee character
Colonel W. was one of these ode
characters who become conspicuous foI
their humor and eccentricity, and wht
are kept in remembrance long after they
are deal by the many anecdotes re-
lated concerning them. He lived il
one of the counties in Middle Tennessee
where for many years he traded slaves,
vocation which was not regarded tav-
orably even in the South, but which en-
abled him to acquire comfortable estate.
He was widely known not only as a
shrewd trader, but as genial and tun-
loving though rather self-important
man, who was always ready to turn an
easy penny, and who could tell cap.
ltal story.
On one occasion he was approached
by Major Hone of the most prominent
citizens of M. who wished to buy Il
smart, good-looking young negro to do
service about his stable and kitchen. Ut
may be we'll to remark here that in
those ante-bellum days of militia mus
tiers military titles were nearly as COM
mon as they are at the present time.l
Major H-was one Of the first families"
ptided himself upon his high position
in society, was very tasteful and delicate
in his tastes, and, Twas scrupulous in draw
ing nice social distinctions. Col. W
at an appointed hour brought up for in
spection lively mulatto boy, who was
mentally and physically strong, but who
SfoDnC,ornH f1iSfraScinpIyr tho how
was not consulted in the matter, he had
only to quietly submit to an examina-
ton, very like that to which horse is
subjected, when offered on the market.
After some higgling upon the part ofthe
two men Major H-paid good round
sum for the boy, and took his newly &C.
quired property home.
The next morning, as the colonel was
seated in front OF the town tavern, with
his heels elevated against the balusterS,
Major H-advanced toward him in no
pleasant frame of mind. and without
other salutatiOn exclaimed: Colonel
W, you have cheated me, sir!'
Without altering his position, the
Colonel looked up calmly, and said in
his blandest tones, made more provok-
ing by his tantalMng lisp: GOOD morn
ing, Major. You theem to be thome-
what perthurbed. If your remark wa
addrethed to me, hope you will ectlr
cuthe me if inquire to what you have
referenthe."
"You know very well. sir" replied
the Major, with growing Indignation.
"You deceived me about that negro |
bought yesterday. Why, confound it!
he shutters SO badly he can hardly
make himse. understood. 1t is absolute
ly painful to try to talk with him"
my dear thlr," replied the Colonel,
with an air of injured innocence, and
with sly glance at the bystanders, who
were enjoying the scene, you ought not
to blame me in the matter. | thought
you wanted a tteTvant to work for you.
If you had told me you wanted niger
to converth with | would have taken
painth to thelect you better CONVEX
thathionalitht."
This reply raised a laugh at the; Majors
expense, and SO exasperated him he
kurned abruptly upon his heel and left
the suave Colonel master ofthe situation
Colonel W--was not much of q
church-goer. but he occasionally dTOppt
into one of the churches, and taking a
back seat, paid marked attention to the
One Sunday morning he took
his Scat in church just as the deacons |
we're taking up the collection. He took |
from his purse half dollar to contri- |
butte, but his good intentions was cooled |
when he saw approaching him a deacon |
who had got the better of him in some |
sharp trading, and of whose piety he |
nad no very exalted opinion. To make |
ng that the Colonel had much of this |
fn OF lofn
1im to liberality by remarking: "You |
an give several dollars ont ofyour album |
lance, Colonel. You will never miss it."
What do you propothe to do with |
he money!" inquired the Colonel.
"Give it to the lord" nnctnously re-
jponded the deacon.
well, thir," said the Colonel, "ath
hink my chantheth of theeing the
Lord are about ath good ath yourth,
prefer to wait and hand it to him in
'erthon," and he put his half dollar in
lis pocket.
Before the Colonel became comforta-
,ly settled in life he Lad many ups and
Towns of fortune. Once he carried
lumber of slaves to New Orleans and
made very successful sale. He under
ook. however, to increase his supply OF
money Dy methods which involved more |
dement's of chance than were connected
With his regular business. 1t was an un-
ucky venture, and in very short time
lie found himself with only money
nough to pay his passage on a boat as
ar up the river as Natchez. Although
lie had not dollar in his pocket, when
Ie reached NatcheZ he put up at the |
est public house. He wore a broad
10th suit and silk hat, and sported a
cane with which he would
lot have parted for many times its val
q. He bore himself with an easy dig
ity, calculated to impress all who saw
i'm with the beliefthat he Wasa capitalist
nth abundant resources. who might he
Induced to invest some thousands In the
property of the town. A week had
early passed, and he had II It succeed
d in putting enough money in his purse
D pay his landlord. One Sunday alter
DON, when he was seriously thinking
f making stealthy exit at night, he
earned that the roughs and gamblers,
Tho at that time formed considerable
art of the population of Natchez, had
ssembled on public road not far from
ne town to witness some foot-races He
Honce started thitherward, and reached
ne place lust as an athletic and fierce. /
,oking fellow. who was exulting over
is victories, offered in a 10 nd voice to
ct $50 that he would beat anybody
II the ground in race of !
ne hundred yards. The colonel re.
rendered that he had himself been
Get of foot in his younger days, and,
ressed by dire necessity, he re-
,lved to try his luck on his occasion.
0 in the pause which followed the
nampion's challenge he stepped for,
ard, and making stately bow, said
1ietly: 81 will take your bet, thir.'
nkL / 4