The Red Cloud chief., 1883-11-02
Mr.. jones Enlists - Cook.

Mr. Jones has had quite In expert
encc lately. II came suddenly. like the
tOothachc. and IL left the same sort &
indrlible impression. The truth l.. he
has been acting n cook. Al first hs
thought ne knew as much ~ n hole in
telligence Office. aud he told Mrs. JOINS
80 when she informed him that Bridget
was going away for two weeks to visit
her sister at East Saginaw.
I'VE must have a supply. Jcp;ba,"
she said in a ministerial sort Of way.
II have all I can 10 with the children
and the fall sewing. without doing any
cooking"
.Non~cnse,' rctnrted Jones; supply
he blamed! Who wants n strange girl
rummaging through IN. house' I'll do
the cooking, Maria. can cook better
than any woman ] cver saw. Ever eat
any OF my gingerbread?'
mo. and | never van to- snapped
Mrs. Jones. IL never saw a man that
could cook anything decently vet"
"Well. you'll see one now. Let me
get mp in the morning and get the
breakfast. I'll show you n bill Of fare"
boosted Jones.
The morning came and Jones got up
early and slipped soft'y down stairs.
intending to got breakfast ready and
give Maria n surprise.
And he did. When the breakfast
bell rang she went down and stopped
in the doorway Ia feas, her eyes. Jones
had laid the table with Bridget's iron
ing-sheet. and h. was rushing about In
his shirt sleeves. with flying -~uspcnd.rs
and a red and heated c~ountenance
piling up dishes wherever there was an
empty space on the scorched cotton
spread.
..Are we nil l~cft-handed," asked
Willie. rs he called his mas attention
TO the knives and forks on the wrong
side If the plates.
Hush up" said the father. severely.
..Sit down. Maria. and turn the coffee.
What are you staring at?"
IL was admiring the cook" said Mrs.
Jones. swallowing a pin in her attempt
not 70 laugh. and she gravcly burned n
cup Of clear hot water out of the coffee
pot.
Must have forgot the coffee" num-
bled Jones; accidents will happen in
NV f"Ni vi IfIiiiiH'N. lEN tif eItUtstl.
did ou-pth?-thrw-p -st-boil
it?" asked Mrs. Jones. as she slowly
chokcd to death.
.'Do you boil oatmeal porridge?' in
CURED Jones. anNiomSly; I'm sure nv
mother never cooked hers"
mo-" laid Mrs. Jones, in%noc-ntly;
'.thcn she must have had her throat lined
with porcelain. What are these things"
JeI thai
Saratoga chips. Maria; don't you
know potatoes when YOU see them"
'1Oh! suppose these are what YOU
call aw natural. see Won forgot To
peelthe potatoes before you fried Them"
purred Mrs. j.
when did Bridget say she would lc
back'' asked Jones, changing the ron
versation.
''Why. she has hardly got there yet"
answered his wife. .'Shc won't be hack
for two weeks unless her brother Tim
comes
Jones sighed. and went down town.
where he dincl at several restaurants.
1t took Mrs. Jones all day nj hard work
to get the kitchen back Ia its normal
condition. and ut night there wa. n very
light supper. Jones announced that NJ
would have omclct AMI hot biscuit for
breakfast. and retired early.
In the morning he wa sleeping sweet
" when Mrs. Jones delivered a rcd-hot
shot into lis nearest ear.
"~Jcptha." she whispered hoarscly.
''therc's-thc-fire"
"Wherc?" shrickcd Jones, sliding |
out Of bed and into his clothes.
"In-thc- kitchen" replied Mrs. j.,
rolling over into n sound sleep.
Jones few To the nearest box and
turned in an alarm. and by the time he
got back to the Kitchen and had torn
up the whole interior he discovered his
and tried tn appea.e the fury
of the disappointed fire department by
to set EN- up later. Then
he took an arnica bath and went to bed |
for q week.
Bridget had just reached East Sagi-
guest at her sisters, Mrs. Maloncy.
when . messenger appeared.
SLOWLY Moses. it's a tallygram," she
gasped. ''phat's broken loose now?" 1t
read:
Your brother Tim has arrived; hur-
~ back at once"
When Bridget had redeemed the kitch-
IN from its two DAYS spree. she began
TO look for Tim: She hasn't seen him
vet. but rs she says: there's the tally
gram" Jones told her to say nothing
Ms he might have been taken for a sus-
pect. What he knows he keeps to him.
elf.-Dctroit Post and Tribune.