The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1883-12-18

An ingenious young lady wants to
know If Tennyson's "Galahad :" is not
" the girl he left behind him."
1t is a good thing for your own
peace of mind that you can't read the
, mind OF your neighbor concerning your
self
60 to Alaska, young man, go to
Alaska. The last citizen who went up
there has already become a solid man.
He was frozen to death.
=" Will you always smile when you
meet p is the pathetic title of new
song. Nearly always, he will; and al
ways, il it's your invitation.
"A correspondent writes: "There are
ground squirrels, ground mice, ground
hogs, etc, but | see no mention in any Of
my books of ground dog. Is there such
an animal?" Inquire at a sausage fac
tory.
!. "A voter deficient in beauty said to a
candidate, "I mean to withdraw my
eountenance from you, sir" Many
thanks for the favor" replied the candi-
date, g" for it'a the ug!iest mug l ever
saw"
=" Yes" said the candidate for Office,
: ! suppose can't sue that paper for say
ing | spent part of my life in Jail. You
see was Warden for six years. l can
lick the editor, thought"
=" Suspicious" said Tawmus, "why
Jack's the most suspicious fellow You
ever saw The other day he saw me kiss
his girl, and came round and said he
thought | was trying to cut him OUT
Tho Chicago Nesos has learned why
Z. B. Hayes went to Washington re-
Gently. He had heard that Tilden had
been elected member of a yacht club,
and he wanted to get hold of the certif-
cate of election.
"A naughty boy said to his mother:
y" You see, ma, you're always telling me
tp behave as we'll to the family as do to
the company, but why don't you behave
the same to me as you do to company,
and ask ME to have another piece Of
pie?"
:" What are you doing there, Jane 2'
:" Why, pa, Pm going to dye my dolls
pinafore red" " But what have yeu got
10. dye it ?'' "Beer.o "Who on earth
told You that beer would dye red p
"Why, ma said it was beer made your
noae so red, and l Thought" "Here,
Susan, take this child"
The other day an uptown gentleman,
whose wife wished him to send up a corn
doetor to the house, made the engagement
anl telegraphed her to this effect
HChiropodist will be up at O'Clock"
The lady was greatly surprised, but some
wfeat consoled, when she received the mes
sHge: "Cheer up, dearest. Will be up at
sssd'clock."
!ii-S-Atlas. upholding the world: care
yen to take astronomy next term, Elsie ?''
inquired a classmate Of her young friend
"Shardly. But Augustus is giving me
sp endid astronomical lessons during the
vacation" Isn't that nicep Has he
text hooks and an atlas s?'' "Oh, Louise,
nay dear, he says I'm all the world to him,
and when : lean my Head on his shoulder
hs is my Atlas"
Ian ingenuous-looking and pretty
yoehg gill kissed middle-aged Western
nlah IS he stood on street corner, and
thew with little skriek and the words,
"Oh, YOU aren't my papa 70 darted away.
Whfn the man was done enjoying the
mistake he found that the artless creature
he'd abstractedly taken his diamond
hfeastpin, with her. s
ssrA Michigan girl told her young man
that she would never marry him until he
wsa worth 100000. SO he started out
Will brave heart to make il. "How
ate you getting on, George ?" she asked
attae expiration of couple of months.
Well, !" said George, hopefully, / have
saved upi 500" The girl dropped her
eystAshes and blushingly remarked: 81
reckon that's near enoagh, George"