Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-05-02
PLEASANTRIES.

MUSICIANS are In the habit Of slnrrino
some notes; but they all speak well Of
greenbacks. Milton NeaOs.
SOME people are like weII-uged
rocking-chair; they are always on the
go, but never get ahead. Boston
Transcript.
ISN'T it a little parodoxical to speak of
a man as a crank when he is so set in his
mind that you can't turn him ?-BoStoya
Transcript.
A THREE-LEGGED jackass has been born
III California. Just how the extra leg
Will look IN tight trousers, we can't say.
-BOsto1a Post
''BUT, my dear friend, why did Won
not marry your husband ten years ago?"
"Ah, at that time he was too old for me. ;"
-Fyiegerde BLotter.
ARTIFICIAL diamonds are now made so
perfect that the difference between them
and the real gems can be easily dlstin-
guiehed. ,Siftings.
A MEXICAN who had killed eight men
was killed the other day in Monterey
while trying to get away with the ninth.
Some men want the earth,-THe Drum
N1eT.
Worcester has an ''R. A. T." club,
which entertains the public with plays,
operettas and the like Hear me enay,
ma, ought to be favorite air.-LoweH
Courier.
AN oyster weighing over two pounds
was picked up at Raritan Bay. Bar
mum ought to buy it to clap on Jumbo's
eye IN case he gets into fight. -PhiIa-
del10hi0 Herald.
THIS is the season when the saloon
keeper scatters pound of sawdust and
few old cigar stubs in his back yard
and calls it beer park. PbiIodeIphio
Chronicle Herald.
A WEALTHY native of Milton. who is
willing to wager large sum of money that
the Maori can knock Sullivan ont, has
been accused of back-an-alien proclivi-
ties.-lMGlto1a NeaO8.
SAID Brown In a fit Of spleen:
" Charley is the biggest fool IN the
world" Mighty generous in you to
say So" was Fogg's quite remark
Boston TRANSCRIPT.
We know thee, gentle spring."
sings poet. Indeed, but this poet
would be a good fellow to take along to
masquerade. He could penetrate most
any disguise. -HortoTd Post.
"YEs," said the level Leaded school
boy, 6 m at the foot o my classes and
/ calculate to stay there. Then I don't
have to stand the wear and tear of anx-
iety for fear I'll lose my place.
The new license bill recently passed
by the Ohio State Legislature imposes
tax of $500 upon spiritua1istic MEDIUMS.
This is unique way to strike the happy
medium. York advertiser.
MEMBERS of the Missouri legislature
now get only 81 day. This seems very
small pay, says the New Orleans Plea
yune, though it is probable that every
state knows the value OF her own states
men.
The latest story is that of aman who
can heat bucket of water in ten min
utes by just sticking his nose into
it. That's easily accounted for-his nose
has got boil On Burlington Free
Press.
A GERMAN at hotel the other day
had some Limburger cheese sent to him.
A little boy who sat beside him turned
to his mother and exclaimed: &c Nam
ma, how [ wish I was deaf and dumb in
my nose !
A SCHOOL teacher near Dawson, Ga,
dismissed school, climbed a tree and
shot himself in the head. 1t is sup
posed that the prettiest girl in the school
made faces at him when he tried to firt
with her.-EH.
A LADY friend won't allow the sales
woman to try on her gloves for her, not
because it is hard work for the sales
woman, but because our lady friend will
Boston Transcript.
mo, won't take your combings and
have them made into bangs, either"
growled Mr.. OIdhusband 10 his wife,
tbs morning. Why, sir?" Because
I'd be arrested Tor tress- passing. p
Pjtts6urg Telegraph.
ANN ELIZA writes to ask why a poor
man invariably keeps dogs. We have
not given the question much considera-
ton, but we have concluded that poor
man supports dog to keep 1.-THE wolf
from the door" y Yonkers Statesman.
THE New York Graphic said the other
day, fAbout three minutes after he
reaches Heaven DR.. Holmes will read
poem" "That is one of the most pow
erful incentives to piety we have seen in
some time, says the Rochester Herald.
On the street: ST understand that
you own great many houses and small
farms in the suburbs. Yes. "Do
you live on any of them ?" emo.
"Then you don't raise anything % "Oh,
yes; every spring raise rents. ''-Phala-
deL2OIsao Meas.
The first bite kills the beast: 81
suppose you have heard of our dudes,
Miss Clarwa?" observed New York
swell to Jacksonville girl. "Oh, yes"
she answered, they are becoming very
popular in Florida. We use them for
bait. Brooklyn Eagle.
A CHINESE peddler in Portland, Ore
gon, refused to accept an English
saying, "No good. lie heap
5abe-no chicken on himl" The Ore
CONAN is of the opinion that when
heather Chinee calls our glorious bird
IF freedom OhioknD II ic time in1and