Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-03-23
WIT AND IsUMOR.

| Inc peach crop has not Utcu Total
fnilurc in Ireland this year, and is not likely
to be, as We are only in March Puck.
a great many people say they write poetry
to Kill time. 1t makes the suffering public
wish they would let time live. ". .. Pica-
yune.
People who INDUCED in congratulatory re-
marks on the lamb like aspect of March are
beginning to find him rather like venerable
mutton. Bo'ton Post.
| Nothing 50 strongly tests mans veracity
as to be summoned to the door to be con-
fronted with the question, care you the
head OF the house ~ Yonkers Statesman.
| A Philadelphia organist has been discharg-
cd for playing Qhough very slowly and So
lemnly) march froman opera bouffe. Seven
teen deacons recognized II at once ,-Phi'a
deiphia Nens.
| Shakespeare says "a man may smile and
smile and be villain" Now, Willie %
wrong tor you cant be o first-class, divi-
dcnd paying villain aud be drunk at the same
time.-Puck.
| "Ics," said the fond mother, II have such
a dread OF the ocean that | can't bear 10 think
OF my sons going to sea, aud TO prevent It
shall enter hm at the naval academy ut An
napolis. "-BOstOn Post.
A Democratic exchange says that reform can
only be expected in the Democratic party.
There is certainly more room for it there than
in any Other party coming TO mind at the
present writing. Boston Transcript.
The 'Blacli Hand Society is rapidly in
creasing in Spain. These is an agent Of the
society now in Burlington. lie licks his
thumb and then turns the pages { a new
book with it.-BWHngto" Hcuktye.
Now that the excitement raised by the
l.., III. a
nothing short of "a new circus Joke wOuli
wake Europe from her fanccd seculity-- oil
city Blizzard
.Why is il, ,i,o, ,,o oroo,,s, ,.,,os oro,o,,,,
marry homely men ?'-EdiM. We don't
know. Homclv men generally seem 10 have
n knack of making money. hui tha, can't be
the reason PhiLid,lDhti Nrrs.
w.s,orr narcro oto ,,,l,,,- t,,, n. a., I,uo
od,or yi", npr1ls1 Y"9 r,c ~" 90 ,,,;',nJ
"a Nonth If Unr-n,.' a1,cr ho h,d he,n
mar,iei "nlv siy ,v"r.s oniv Old b.cha'
iors ,,,o,IJ ho r,oo,, or,,,,,h ,n vol, Co.,
of the unfortunate man. n.-CHicdgo HcydM
7, ,,.or,,;o Cor ,,,.,,,,.
ooi,,sn = L,,-i ,rli y,i,ati -, ,ta lie
sLnu 10 axnouo,, 7,,a gor oo,i,.,
, U,,'o'. - "D !, ,.';,t' ,i,, H. -,
n'33, ,15is VII" ~" |" '''' ''''H''''
, 'D'
NO, SIRE, SAID Farmer John, emphatl-
cally, no homypathy doctors for me- When
drn u,I Guu wanI " VI nnsi.n s .ndda a91S 'e'
'i,u nI;i,;, o s,N Wv want " ~ VII su''u'"
= "."" I0''" -''"''
west Virginia anu Vermont have been lax
, ing account OF last years stock, have closed
their ,arsairs with the glucose m.nutnttur,
ers, anu now confidently prrGict big maple
sugar Ph'tidftP"a Ae"s.
= l."uis'l'ie Is ihahlns 4rehl preparations i'f
au ii''un.itai rA,t'ui',oi' IN lCNt i''
s"s iooaDIy snc{ 'irau ~ i,'lc sn'l,r 'Ii'u
E l.om louiana 10 woth' wnile lhe InhAo"al'> ~
stan1 round ana gaze AT inc cur'o'i'y'-b"'
''I fo"'
= Fashionable young cluhmen OF New York,
S sans aims and sans briius who ape the Brt
= w. 'po hn,,, SEQ s"' ,cS ocn.,,r,v in tho nov
% no,,c Tho old ,;tIn ..,id,n,s " contains onl g
=, On" mora '.,,cr = Voryi,to,,1 JLraI
IT. = ~, ~
e Inc eql'or OF 'ne Nnlnese hc"spspsr II
:. Ne" loIh can nave more Iul tua', any ohc'
$ olrnal'St III america: ne Eau l'ocl ctGr,
+ wen known poh'iclah III tne country anu Il
c twenty 10 one thn' Tue ylc'im VIII never un'
d II ou'' '"'n"''P''" '"'E''"
.'I Was W.. ,iss III 0,' ,h
Il ,o,,S ,,n'o WV, h,y', hso, hrn ,irc. I bav
sot nr ~ h,,,'nI, - ~ W. wI,,
IS ,au W. 'i'S ue"Iu, w., ,i,rapo -, ,t oo,,;c
IS ,;oa, y my, W',,.;or "''
- 'ou' o'''" ''"'
e Two Iadies were coming Out OF 'hG inca
n ire. seeing thc other crop htr p'nynlIi' on
II u .'rt cAe,,,.u'' ,,' 'aS ,ro, ~
e ioI 1i'Um SOW t., a,',,I -, i,o y,
y ,',,'',,''' .rn" -, p.,, tn. Nv ~
Is ii'o'ne"'u''' 0''o'' ''"
a Authorization; Piscatur short sighted h
"a has been trolling all day for big pike lhi
AZ lay in hole about here)-"Quck, jarvis
the landing net-lve got him " jarvis
, "Ah, sir, it's only an old frying-pan; bu