The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1877-1885, 1883-02-14
For the +. a NJ. Household
A Bar to Social EVENINGS.

- = ob W SoStdb
Has there ever been a time when-at
least outside Of our cities-t was not
considered an essential of hospitality 10
offer food TO a guest: 1t is the savage
instinct OF hospitality, and civilized ma
tions have pampered it into all imperious
custom. Among savages it is well
enough. These livers from hand to
mouth are often half famished and
| naturally. latter the famine. the feast =
There is no expense, and The trouble is
not to be considered. Hunting game is
| only sport to the men, and The simple
manner of living gives the women of the
tribe very little else to think of besides
manual labor and preparing food: the
children take care OF themselves. In
warm countries they do not even have
| to be provided with clothing, and in
colder latitudes their garments are of
the simplest kind. But where women
have to make great variety of under
and over garments wit h seams and gus
sets and bands, ruffies and pockets, but
ton holes innumerable, thin summer
wear, and thick winter wear for two,
| three, or four children, who are all the
time growing out of said clothing, with
no seamstress, probably, and only one
| servant to do the house work, it will be
readily understood that the company
breaks the housekeeper's back.
The expense of a simple refreshment
is the smallest part to consider when
persons wish to have their friends come
in often to spend social evening. 1t
is the care and extra work which make
it impossible for the average family TO
entertain guests rs its members would
Fl like. How often it prevents the infor-
NAL sending to the neighbors to come
this evening and have dance" or to
''cOme and help us act charades.'' 1t
has broken up many a ''sociable' and
given the death blow to the good fell
lowship of whole neighborhood, filled
with pleasant people who would have
enjoyed one another very much. and
would have done one another Il world
of good.
1t is a trouble to both mistress and
maid to supplement all their various la
bOrs with the frequent preparation of
even such simple entertainment as
sandwiches, coffee, and cakes An eX-
ira amount of bread must be mixed,
nicely nodded, and properly baked. \
ham must be prepared, and boiled, and
nicely cut into thin slices-a process
that requires some skill and a good deal
of time. The coffee must be roasted.
ground. and then prepared with ner-
vOus nicely that is somewhat wearing.
The materials for the cakes must be
collected from storerooms and closets
and what a time of anxiety it is until
the cakes come out Of the oven. and
then, though they look all right, there
is the possibility that in cutting our
loaves, with the eyes of our guests upon
us, we may find them streaked with
dark lines! But even this not all.
Perhaps the most arduous part, and de-
cidedlv the most agreeable. is the ciean-
ing up after the cooking, and after the
guests. When we give large parties.
much more than this is checrtully
borne; for the thought and the labor
begin a long time before the event and,
usually, extra help is hired. But we
are not now considering large parties
We want to meet our friends frequently
Cannot we do without this interninabe
eating? We would not eat after our
supper Cor dinner) if we had remained at
home. Why should we find it neccs-
sary when we 90 out: If we drop in
at friends house for an evening we
do not expect it or think OF it. But if
this same friend asks us to come to
hear some music, or to look at some
new engravings, or to do anything
whatever, we look for something to eat
in the progress of the evening. .'She
invited u.s." we say. ''and of course
there will be refreshments of some
kind" Why ''of course:' We don't
need them,-often we would prefer to
do without them,-and certainly we
should be clearer in our minds in the
morning if we should do without them.
Still the senseless custom goes ON.
The surprise parties of few years ago.
| which were so mercilessly condemned.
arose out of genuine feeling of friend
ness, due to the naturally gregarious
habits of mankind. After day of
| housewOrk, sewing, and bother, after
office hours are over, when the little
! folks are in the land Of dreams. while
Bridget or Dinah is quiet in the kitchen,
with sewing, or visitor, yearnlng
arises in our souls for some sort of rec
TSdllOu. hHu liCiC 10 a bCCd lOl IL. tco
But the surprise parties were a mistake
| for the same reason that we hesitate to
accept the general invitation, Come
and spend an evening with US some
time We do not so because the very
evening we fix upon may be the most
incOnvenient one of the whole season to
our host. But, were it not for those
bugbears. Sandwiches and coffee or
'oysters and ice cream instead of
Ibis vague. unmeaning phrase, one
might give the specific invitation ::
Come this evening, or next Wednes-
day EVENING"" for they would have
nothing to think of in the meantime. in
relation 10 the visit, but the pleasure Of
their friends society.
LOUISE STOCKTON.
For the F. &. M.-Household