Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1883-02-03
THE FATHER's LAST EXPERT
wENr FOM HIS SONS REFORM. ].
Peaks Milwaukee, sun.

stump, which he had left on the
counter, and which the hoy rubbed
on the kerosene barrel. mo, sir
that whistle would scare any dos
that heard it. Say, what was your
pa running after the doctor in his
shirt sleeves for last Sunday morn
ing? He looked scared. Was you
ma sick again 90
"Oh, no, ma is healthy enough
now she has got a new tur-Iined
cloak. She played consumption or
pa, and coughed SO she liked tC
raised her lights and liver, and
made pa believe that she couldn'l
live and got the doctor to prescribe
a fur-lined circular, and pa went
and got one, and ma improved aw,
fully. Her cough has all gone and
she can walk ten miles. / was the
one that was sick. You see,
wanted to get pa into the church
again, and get him to stop drink
ing, so got boy TO write a letter
to him, in female hand, ano
signed the name of choir singei
pa was mashed on, and tell him she
was yearning for him to come back
to the church, and that the church
seemed a blank without his smiling
face and benevolent heart, and t.
please come back for her sake.
''Pa got the letter Saturday night,
and he seemed tickled, but CUES:
he dreamed about it all night, and
Sunday morning he was mad, anG
took me by the ear and said
couldn't come no Daisy business
on him the second time. He said
he knew | wrote the letter, and fol
me TO go in the stOre-r0om and pre-
pare for the a1mightiest licking d
boy ever had, and he went down
stairs and broke up an apple barrel
and got stave to whip me with
Well, / had to think mighty quick,
but was enough for him. i got a
dried bladder in my room, one that
me and my chum got To slOtter-
house, and bowed it partly up, Sc
it would be sort of fiat like, and
put il down inside the back part oil
my pants, right about where pa hits
when he Furnishes me. | knOwed
when the barrel stave hit the blad-
ueT IL WOuIu CA PlOdC' "SiiS pe'
came up and found me crying.
81 can cry just as easy as you can
turn on the water at a faucet, and
pa took off his coat and looked sOr-
nv. 1 was afraid he would give up
whipping me when he saw me cry
ing, and / wanted to go on with the
bladder experiment, so 1 looked
kind of hard, as l was defying him
to do his worst, and then he took
me by the neck and laid me across
a trunk. / didn't dare struggle
much, for fear the bladder would
lose itself, and pa said, Now,
Hennery, i am going to break you
of this damfoolishness, or L will
break your back and he spit on
his hands and brought the barrel
stave down on my best pants.
Well, you'd a died if you had
heard the explosion. 1t almost
knocked me off the trunk. 1t
like firing Il tirecracker
away down cellar in a barrel, and
pa looked scared. / rolled off the
trunk on the floor, and put some
-four on my face to make me look
pale, and then ! kind of kicked my
legs like fellow who is dying on
the stage after being stabbed with
A. piece of lath, and groaned and
said: pa, you have Killed me,
but | forgive you , and then l roll
ed around and frothed at the
cause l had piece of soap
in my mouth to make foam. Well,
pa was all broke up. He said,
Great God, what have / done?
[ have broken his spinal column.
D, my poor boy, do not die! L
Kept chewing the soap and fOaming
1T the mouth, and / drew my legs
I'd and kicked them out, and
,lutched my hair and rolled my
eyes, then kicked pa in the stum-
nick as he bent over me, and
shocked his breath cut of him, and
hen my limbs began to get rigid
md / said, TOO late, pa. die at
he hand of an assassin. Go for
loctor.' Pa throwed his coat over
ne and started down stairs on
un, saving, i have murdered my
,rave boy and he told ma to go
I'D stairs and stay with me, cause |
lad fallen off trunk and ruptured
blood-Vessel, and he went after
he doctor.
"When he went out of the front
Ioor, and / sat up and lit a cigar
tie, and ma came up and L told
Ter all about how l fooled pa, and
f she would take on and cry when
"a got back | would get him TO go
o church again and swear off
rinking, and she LATED and said
he would. So when pa and the
oc got back, ma was sitting on a
'elOcipede i used to ride, which
vas IN the stOre-rOom, and she had
Ier apron over her face, and she
more than beloved. Pa, he Was+
ale, and he told the doc that he !
pas Just playing with me with a
title piece of board, and he heard |
crack, and he guessed
nv spine got broke falling off the
runk. The doctor wanted to feel |
there my spine was broke, but /
pened my eyes and had a vacant
brit of a stare, like woman who
lads dog by a string, and L told
ne doctor there was no use setting |
Nv spine, as it was broken in sew
raj places, and | wouldn't let him
,el the dried bladder.
81 told pa that l was going to die,
nd l wanted him to promise me
yo things on my dying bed. He
red and said he would, and | told
i'm TO promise me he would quit
rinking and attend church regular,
nd he said he would never drink
mother drop, and would go to
lurch every Sunday. made him
ct down on his knees beside me
nd swear it, and the doctor w.t.
essed il, and ma said she was so
lad, and ma called the doctor out
ito the hall and told him the joke,
nd the doctor came into the room
nd told pa he was afraid pas pres
ice would excite the patient,and for
4 to put on his coat and go out and
ak around a block or go to
lurch, and ma and he would re-
Iove me to another room, and do
| that is possible to make my last
ours pleasant. Pa he cried, and
id he would put on his plug hat
I'd 90 to church, and he kissed me,
nd got -four on his nose, and L
me near laughing right out to see
le white -four on his red nose,
hen thought how the people in
lurch would laugh at pa: But he
ent out feeling mighty bad, and
zen got out and pulled the busted
adder out of my pants, and ma
I'd the doctor they laffed awful.
hen pa got back from church and
ked for me, ma said that had