Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1883-11-20
PLEASANTRIES.

A sERENADE ought to be set in a nigN
key.
A DINE novel is of course in-ten- cent.
sation.
WHEN a business is ''run down" it is
time to have it "wound up"
THEvegetarian's diminutive pleasantly
Its rare that eat meat"
"HERE's your ring" said the bell to
the belle, and the wedding went on.
AT the Hub-'I am tired" said the
wheel. "Poor felloe," spoke the axle,
wagon his tongue.
"FoRTUNE knocks once at every
mans door," but misfortune stalks in
many times without knocking.
PATTI is thirty-nine years old, and has
been Just that old so long she is used to
it and it doesn't worry her cents
worth.
A LITTLE girl being asked what she
was doing with her doll, replied that she
was making her an angel and was about
to sew on wings.
GAN honest man is the noblest work
of God" Nothing is said about an
honest woman, because she isn't such
an astounding variety.
WHAT can make more vocal noise than
boy driving ten cows through tQwnH
Why, boy driving two COWS, of course.
The more COWS the less noise.
Glow OLD are you?" said an ancient
dame to grinning little tar-pot. "Well,
if goes by what mudder says, I is most
10, but if 1 goes by de fun Use had, Use
most 100."
ONE of the leading dailies of Chicago
has resolved not to notice baseball
games hereafter. 1t wants all its space
for reports Of divorce cases.-Norris-
torn Herald.
DEACON JONES was happy, indeed,
when he was told that his daughters,
dear girls, had gone to the revival.
Their mother didn't tel him that it was
revival of " Pinafore. "-BoSton Tran
script.
A UTICA clergyman had occasion to
refer in a sermon to the prophet Jonah,
and the report says that he delicately
spoke of him as having "pGssed three
days and three nights in the whales
ahem-society."
A TURKEY was shut up in cellar III
Clarke, Va, and lived five weeks with
ont food or water. 1t is said that the
turkey was forgotten, but we are in
' a.ined to think that is really the wa.
turkeys are fattened for the city market
AT young ladies' seminary recently
, Turing an examination in history, on,
i the pupils was Intercepted thus
Mary, did Martin Luther die nat
lraI death? ?" mo" was the reply, "h
u was communicated by bull. "-Hdr
oard Lampoon.
FlGums won't lie, maybe, but yol
can't bet on the breadth of a mans shoul
l,rs or the girth of a wman's-ha-ches
Nv a measure outside the dress or coat
. Oh, 10, they won't lie, figures Won
l. But a Newark cashier can make thel
J liss mLle little.
A LITTLE boy asked mamma the fol
-. lowing question, to which all mamma
answers are notyet recorded: "Mammi
= If bear should swallow me l woul
die, wouldn't -" eyes, dear" "An
would 60 to heavcn?" Eyes, dear
And would the bear have to g
>. :oo?"
, THE USE or TIE BEAUTIFUL.
Wien ia Is the soulful mOonbeam
:" Upon the backyard fence,
G. Aud tun,iul feline chorist rs
&c Their serenade commence,
~ Tie suffering aesthetic,
, Ills utterance forgot
u Hurts madly through the midnight air
lIs too-too sunaower pot
ID PRor. BIzzozERo, Of Turin, has d
ct covered new and important constitute
of the blood, which he calls "blr
II platichen." They are lenticular bodi
al aggregated around the colorless corpr
in cles. 1t is enouoh to make a man
N down and cry with modification to THU
OF that he has to GO around with thin
like that in his blood, and no way Of g,
p ting them out. --Bwdette.