The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-04-03
BATHED IN HUMAN GORE.
Playing Burglars on the Old
Man, and the Way 1t
Worked.

Peok's Sun.
II heard ma tell pa to bring up an
other bottle of liniment last night"
the bad boy remrrked to The grocery
man. "When ma corks herself, Or
has pain anywhere she just uses lin
iment for all that out, and q pint
bottle don't last more than q week.
Well, I told my chum, and we laid for
pa. The liniment ma uses is offul hot.
and almost blistered. Pc went to the
Langtry show, and cid not get home
till II o'clock, and me and my chum
decided to teach pa a lesson. l don't
think it ID right for q man to 60 to
theatres and not take his wife and
little boy. So We concluded to purgle
pa. We agreed to lay on the stairs.
and when be came up my ehum was
to hit him on the head with . dried
bladder, and / Was to stab him on the
breast pocket with stick, and break
the liniment bottle and make him
think he was killed. 1t couldn't have
worked better If We had rehearsed it.
We had talked about. burglars at the
supper time and got pa nervous, 90
when he came up stairs and was hit on
the head with the bladder. The first
thing he said was burglars. by
mighty And he started to 60 hack.
and then l hit him on the breast
pocket, where the bottle was, and
then We rushed by him down stairs.
and l said in stage whisper, Il guess
he's dead man, and we went down
to the cellar and up the back stairs to
my room and undressed. Pa hollered
to me that he was murdered, and ma
called me, and l came down in my
night shirt, and the hired girl she
came down, and pa was on the lounge,
and he said his life blood was fast
ebbing away. He held his hand on
the wound and said he could feel the
warm blood trinkIing clear down to
his boots. told pa to stuff some tar
into the wound, such as he told me to
put on my lip to make my mustache
grow, and pa said, my boy this is no
time for triding. Your pa is on his
last legs. When I came up stairs /
met six burglars, and 1 attacked
them and forced four of them down.
and was going to hold them and send
fer the police. when two more, that /
did not know about, jumped on me,
and l was getting the best of them,
when one of them struck me over the
head with q crow-bar and the other
stabbed me to the heartlwitha butcher
knife. / have received my death wound
my boy. and my hot southern bloodthat
I offered up 80 freely for my country in
her time ofneed, is passing from my
body, and soon your pa will be only
q piece Of poor clay. Get some ice
and put on nay stomach, and all the
way down, for l am burning up /
went to the water pitcher and got .
chunk Of ice and put it inside pa's
shirt, and while ma Was tearing up
an old skirt to stop the flow of blood.
l asked ps if he felt better, and if he
could describe the villains who had
murdered him. Pagasped and moved
bis legs to get them cool from the
cIotted blood he said. and he went on
One Of them was about six feet high
and had . sandy moustache. l got
him down and and hit him in the
nose, and if the police find him his
nose will be broke. The second one
was thick set and weighed about 200.
l had him down and my boot was ON
his neck, and 1 was knocking two
more down when / was hit. The
thick set one will have the mark of
bootheels on his throat. Tell the
police, when I am gone. about the
boot heel marks By this time ma
had got the skirt tore up, and she
stuffed it under pa g shirt, right where
he said he was hit, and pa was telling
US what to do to settle bis estate,
when ma began to smell the liniment,
and che found the broken bottle in
bis pocket, and searched pa for the
place where he was stabbed. and then
she began to laugh. and pa got mad
and said he didn't see as Q deathbed
scene was such an awful funny aHair,
and then she told him he was not hurt,
but that he had fallen on the stairs
and broke bis bottle, and there was no
blood on him, and he said: DO you
mean to tell me my body and legs are
not bathed in human goreP and then
pa got up and found it was only the
liniment. He got mad and asked ma
why she didn't fly around and get
something to take that liniment of his
legs as it vas eating them right
through to the bone, and then he saw
my chum put his head in at the door,