The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-06-29
WITTICISMS.

The favorite game with the black
smith is said to be old sledge.
II you wish to know the cents of the
meeting. pass around the hat.
The fayorite song of the literary
critic; Sitting on the style"
The telephone has a great many con-
sections, but no blood relations.
This world is a barber shop" says
Squibbs, -for we all shave one another
An old lady wants to know what is
meant by mean time" Our watch
keeps it.
Business man NO; you cannot sus-
tain a high musical note merely by en-
dorsing 1t.
The remoye paint: Sit on a fresh
daubed cellar door, or kiss the rosy
cheeks of a sleeping beauty.
This is the age of invention, and yet
no one has discovered how to yarnish a
calico dress SO it will pass for silk.
The best time to eat a green apple is
after it has become ripe. We give this
information on good authority.
Scene IN children's party; Good.
bye, Florie, must you 60 nowP" "YeS'm;
and mamma!told me to say I've had a
nice time"
Eat onions, sis" is the Boston Posts
advice to a young lady who wants to
know how to avoid haying a moustache
on her upper lip.
When a pair of clipping lovers get
married on board a train, as has been
done, the affair might properly be
spoken of as a 'car coupling"
No shoemaker ever says to his doc
tor: physician heal tbyself" Pun
my sole he knows better than toe
make such unprofesslonal remarks.
An exchange remarks that Mrs. Ca
noe, of ~Cherrytown, is the mother Of
nineteen children. What a time she
must have padding heriown canoe.
A Salem man excused his marrying a
cross-eyed wife by saying that he liked
alteration, and she could see twice as
much in him as any other woman could
A young lover in Iowa paid $40 for a
locomotive to run him thirty-fve miles
TO see his girl, and when he got there
the family bulldog run him two mile;
and didn't charge him a cent.
A good-natured traveller fell asleeI
in a train and was carried beyond hi.
destination. Pretty good Joke, ism
it?" said a fellow-passenger, "Yes
but carried a little too farl" was the re
ioinder.
Johnny wa asked by his mother t,
run to the store" on an errand for her
Il want a drink of water first" said tn
boy. mo, run along now" .""Why
mother, even a river won't run whel
it's dry He got his drink of water,
al thought remarked the victim
after the dentist had dragged hin
around the room several times, I"
thought you advertised to,extract teetI
without pain? ?" $50 l do, Sir" reptile
the operator,tblankly "itl doesn't hur
me at all to yank EN-"
Hints for harss about the tweathel
(From the French.) 81 never remen
Der anything like this season for dry
ness. Three months without any rain
bah! That's nothing! Now in 146
remember we didn't have a drop c
rain for eighteen months"
A boy eighHyears old was asked b
his teacher where the zenith was. II
replied: "The spot is in the HEAVIER
directly over ones head" To test b
knowledge further, the teacher asked
Can two persons have the same zenit
at the same time?" "They can
"Howp" IF one stands on the other
head"
An exchange wants to know: "Wh;
Is home without a newspaperP" I'll
Washington Post gets there by sayini
ut is a place where old hats are stufft
into the window sashes, where Il
children are like so many unmanner
barbarians, where the housewife is ill
the aboriginal savage, and the husbar
with a panoramic view of a Graz
River swamp printed on his shirt frol
with tobacco juice.
"a good name is to be chosen rath
than riches" This we read and believe
when we were fresh in the world,
we strove after and had attained agoC
name. 1--WE Ihnd, however, that nil
hundred and ninety-nine other fellow
struck out for the riches-and if we I
member rightly. the author of the abo'
remark is remembered more for Il
amount of his wealth than forthe sair
illness of his character.
II remember" said a Detroit boy
his Sunday school teacher, You to
me to always stop and count fifty VIII,
angry" "YesP" "Well, I'm glad to he
il, II cooled your anger. didn't il