Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-03-03
Saturday Smiles.

From ODOnOvan ROssas talk Of late, one
would imagine that he was preparing to eat
thirty Englishmen in thirty days. In the matter
OF destroying England, O'Donovan is a long
range bore.-Ieras Siffings.
Professional-Pleaseg gimme ten cents. sir, to
buy some bread. Muggins.-Why, gave you
ten cents not half an hour ago. Professional
takiDg in the situatiOn) Yes, sir. know SIR
but I'm terrible bread-eater.-Hdrudrd
LdnlpOon.
In single season an oyster can lay several
million eggs, fish double that number if 1t Is
in any health at all, and even the ordinary house
fly, it is said. can acqut itself of 10000 without
any very great mental strain. But hen, whose
eggs are good for something, gets black in the
face trying to lay seven a week. and then goes
all over the neighborhood telling about it. Ma
ture has made failure of the egg business
Rochester Post Express.
The clothes line cable to the Rochester Post
Express says the egg dealers in London are very
much encouraged by the fact that Oscar Wilde
is studying for the stage.
Brown mistakes his man: ''Come" said Brown,
you must give something for our fair. Why,
even Stodkins came down handsomely I didn't
expect anything from him. He has very bad
name you know. but charity cOvereth a multi
tude of sins Come. now, what shall put you
down for?" "Well," replied Fogg, II guess
l don't care to have my sins covered up:
no hypocrite about me. Day-day, old boy
Boston Transcript
An Austin Journalist put in an appearance at
the inaugural ball. There was a mixed mob
there, it is true. but the journalists coat was
shabby that one of the committee whispered in
his ear, Haven't you got another coat at
homer" Eyes, have got another one" ''Why
didn't you put it on ?" Because it amt near
as good as this one "-Te1as Sifti,gs
Mice felow:' the New York girl exclaimed:
.'well, l should think he was! Why, he don't
do any business, he belongs to three clubs, has
$4,000 year. is divorced from his wife, and
has led about thirty germans this season."
veraciOus exchange says: cage will tell on
man." So will Rerdel.- Huntington Free
Press.
When California man sees mo cards. at the
end of a marriage notice of friend he remarks
that that girl has put some of her pious notions
into Jim's head, but he'll get over them after he
has been married while. "-Somerriue Journal
A recent dictate of fashion is important to all
married men. 1t is that small checks will be
en- rege for spring and summer silk dresses. 1t
generally takes such large checks.-Hartford
Erening Post.
The reason why woman cannot succeed as
we'll as man in the walks of life is because when
she ia on the walks one hand is usually employed
in holding up her dress.-P PHILADELPHIA Chronicle
Herald.
only two days ago our barber solemnly assured
us that he thought great deal Of Rev. Joseph
Cook and loved to converse with him. as he
could understand him. Then we got out of the
chair and said: ''This thing is all wrong. If you
can understand Joseph Cook it's not for you to
shave US. Get up In the chair and We will shave
Ou."-BOstOn Post.
The Goddess Of Liberty is about the only
American woman who isn't looking forward to
a new spring bOnnet.-Phil0delphia Chronicle
Herald.
Charlie Ross's father does not give up hope
of finding his boy yet. He has full faith in some
sort of heir restOrer. and believes it is mot
die. "-LO,ceN Courier.
''No gentleman" said Fogg ''would smoke
in the presence of ladies'" ''Nonsense." replied
interfere with my comfort" every true" said
Fogg; but that doesn't affect the correctness
OF my observation. "-Boston Transcript.
The Rule of Therefor the Third Person to
Clear Out.-Puck