Omaha daily bee., 1883-02-14
HOW HoYRL ,eBATs WORK.
Methods Adopted by Professionals in
the Art OF Securing Free
Board.

oeculiar method. SJmetimeh III ID q
deeu-laid ,cheme that he has passed
months cf time in %conoootipg. Then
again he will act on the spur OF the
moment, brace up and float through
Oh HE gall, go to speak. Once In o
while the pr,f ssional irier his htti'
game on an i'm keeper Of Tsrtsiio
propensities, and then for o week or
two he will exhibit o preference for
takinp his meals from the mautelpieoe,
shere, TO use the remark applied b.
Hans TO his hen, be can sit standing
up:" but these petty trials are to be
e1peuted from the cold charity OF the
world, and as soon as the seat OF his
,rousers has recovered from the shock,
the beat resumes his uncertain way.
1, Is less than a month ago that the
quests Of one Of our fashionable hotels
we're first scsndalized and then in
tensely amused over q little episode
that occurred there. There were
seated about the stables in little groups,
discussing the events OF the day, when
those who were facing the door noticed
a stability dressed individual, who
would have been tabooed from a
"besnery," enter, place his weather
beaten derby on the hat. rack and seat
himself eoolly at one of the tables
nearest the entrance. How he ever
evsded the all searching eye of the
head walter was an unsolved enigma.
Suffice It h to know that he was
present. He called two walters to
him, and the manner in which the
edibles disappeared from sight before
his devastating attack for the next 10
minutes challengedth admiration Of all
the occupants, who taking In the situa
ton, were looking on with amused
giances. Juct as the interloper was
finishing his meal the proprietor Of
house CHANGED to enter. Two walters
stood one on either hand, awaiting the
commands Of the great unregistered
"What's the meaning Of this2" said
the hotel man, wkoSe sense of the hu.
morous had almost rec the first
feeling Of anger at this exhibition of
adamantine cheek.
The fellow roae meekly to his feet
and said that he was so nearly
starved that he had become des.
perate and had resolved to run his
chances.
II admire your cheek" said the
host, sand I hope you have en-
joyed a good dinner. Now you hav'
finished, eetout of here as quickly a
possible.
The seedy individual seized hi
derby, and, with a mental ejaculation
at the streak Of luck he had played to
departed.
This unfortunate. however, was no
one who made it n business. He wa
probably, as no claimed, dead broke
and preferred tho desperate measur
no adopted to starvation.
Ii PERFECT Artist.
A case now comes to mind, how
ever, that illustrates the artist in his
business to perfection. He was Q
well dressed man, and when he en-,
tered the cfice the clerk scrutinizet
him and concluded that 1t would be 9
matter of difficulty to discriminate
between him and a millionaire. HI
registered his name In a Sir,Josept
Porter K. O. b. style that com
manded respect. When he entered
the dining room the waiter bowed oh
sequiously. He sat down and occu
pied q full hour In discussing every
article that the bill OF fare promised.
He had reached the limit In the shape
Of pudding. Suddenly a Mortified ex.
clamation burst from his lips. Tn.
walters gathered a~nxlously around.
rs this what you give your guests
to eat7' he shou ed excitedly.
Ssh! don't speak 80 loud," said the
head waiter so~othingly.
"Yes, but l will speak loud, and II
you are In the habit of cooking co.
But the hand of the head walter stlfsd
the remainder Of the word.
Ssh! Don't say anything about 1t,
and your zeal shan't cost q cent"
swell, that's all right" said the
swell, with a Frightening oountenanoe
and he left the room.
In the bottom Of the dessert dish was
an enormous oocArosch. The guest,
when he reached the pavement,
threw q wink owe his shoulder, and,
putting his hand In his vest pocket,
removed therefrom and deposited in
the gutter q half dozen or more of the
insects. 1t afterward transpired tina,
he had not q cent OF money, and after
he had eaten his fill placed the cook.
roach In the dish aud made o holy
kick on the strength Of 1t to elude the
demand he knew would be made for Q
cash settlement.
The manner In which another Of the
profession succeeded In beating a
place Of public entertainment was SO
ludlcrous that we repeat 1t, although
fearful that to many 1t may be a
chestnut" as the boys say. A man
entered the Grand Pacific one evening
Grand Pacific will do--and
asked for . room. He wore y long
ulster, buttoned from throat to ankle,
which he did not open while under
surveillance Of any oi tie attaches Of
the house. Early next morning the
bell connected with his room rang
furiously. The clerk and bell boy
few for his room and found him rag
ing and stormlng about like q maniac
II have been robbed" he yelled, 10
answer to their anxious inquiries; call
my clothes are gone. They contained
oil Of valuables. My trousers CON
tanned $500 In money, and there was
a diamond stud in my shirtl' The
last word was q positive yell. A new
suit was given to him, besides $l0C
in money. Later 1t was learned tina,
he had owned no clothing at all, and
had utilized the long ulster to hide hii
nakedness until he could get his worl