Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1883-08-22

mouth 10 keep from lafing, when she
saw pa look at hisself. The legs OF the
pants were so tight pa couldn't breathe,
and he turned pale, and said, 'Hennery,
your pa is a mighty sick man., and then
ma and me both laughed, and he said
we wanted him TO die so we could
spend bis life insurance in riotous llv-
ing. But when pa put on that con-
densed shirt, ma she laid down on the
lounge and fairly yelled, and l laughed
till my side ached. Pa got it over his
head, and got his hands IN the sleeves
and couldn't get it either way, and lie
couldn't see us laugh, but he could hear
ss. and he said. IT'S darned funny,
amt it, 10 haye parent swelled up
this way. If bust you both will be
sorry.' Well, ma took hold OF one
side of the shirt, and 1 took hold Of the
other, and we pulled it on, and when
pas head came through the collar, his
face was fairly blue. Ma told him she
was afraid he would have stroke of
apoplexy before he got his clothes on,
aud guess pa thought so too. He
tried 10 get the collar on, but it wouldn't
20 half way around his neck, and he
looked in the glass and cried, he look
ed so swollen. He sat down IN chair
and painted, he was so out OF BREATH
and the shirt and pants ripped, and pa
said there was no use living ii he was
going 10 be a rival 10 fat woman ID
the side show. Just then l put the
plug hat on pas head, and 1t was so
small it was going 10 roll off, when pa
tried 10 fit it on his head, and then he
look it cff and looked inside OF it,to.see
if # was his hat, and when be found bis
name in it, be said: Take 1t away
NV head is all wrong too Then he
told NE 10 20 for the doctor mighty
oujck. got the doctor and told hin
what we were trying TO do with pa,
and he said he would finsh the job. 80
the doc came IN and pa was on the
lounge. aud when the doc saw him he
said it was lucky he was called just he
was. or lie would have called an under
taker. He put some pounded ice on
pas lead the frat thing, ordered the
shirt cut open, and we got the pants
of. TEen he gave pa an emetic, anc
had his feet soaked, and pa SAID, Doc
ifyou will bring me out OF this will
meyer drink another drop.
The doctor told pa his life was not
worth a button If be ever drank again
and left about half pint Of sugar pills
to be fred into pa every five minutes.
Ma aud me sat up with pa all day Sun
day, and Monday morning, | changed
the specacles, aud took the clothes
home. and along about noon pa said he
felt as though be could get up. Well
YOU never saw a tickleder man than he
was when be fc ind the swelling haC
gone down so he could get his pants
and shirt on, and be says that doctor
the best in this town. Ma says l am
smart boy, and pa has taken the
pledge, and we are all right. Say, you
don't think there Is anything wrong ii
boy playing it on his pa, once in
while do you p
Not much! you have very likely
sayed your pas life. No. sir, loklDg i
all right when by SO doing you CAL
break a person of bad habit and th'
grocery man cut q chew of tobacco OF
a piece Of plug that was on The countei
which the boy had soaked in keresone
and before he had got it fairly rolled il
his cheek he spit it out and began tC
gag, aud as the boy started lelsurely
out of the door The groceryman said
'Look-a.here, condemn you, don't yo'
ever tamper with my tobacco again, o
by thunder, I'll maui, YOU and III
followed the boy to the door, splttln!
cotton all the way, and as the boy
went around the corner the grocerymar
thought how different joke Seeme'
when 1t was on somebody else. ANT
then be turned to 60 in 10 rinse th'
Kerosene out of his month, aud fount
a sign on box ofnew green apples al
follows: Collie or cholera iufantum
You pays your money and takes you
| DaoLto