davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1883-08-07
YOU.

If could have my dearest wish fulfilled,
And take my choice of all earth's treasures, 100,
Or choose from heaven whatsoe'er vill,d
I'd ask for you
No man I'd envy neither low nor high
Nor king in castle old new,
Ia hold Goconda's mines less rich than l.
If had you.
Toll and privation, poverty and care
I CndaulIted I'd defy, nor fortune WOO
Having my wife, no jewel else Ia wear,
II she were you.
Little I'd care how lovely She might be
How graced with every charm, how fond how true
Even though perfection, she'd be naught to me
Were she not you
There is more charm for my true loving heart,
In everything you think say or do
Than all the JOYS that Heaven could ter inpart
Because it's YOU
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1883-08-07

90 can't understand why my milk
has such a strong cucumber taste," re-
marked milkman in grocery store to
the. crowd who sat around on barrels and
boxes.
q guess can explain it," piped out a
little frecklediaced man, who was perched
on a cheese box.
"Let's hear it, exclaimed the crowd.
Well" slowly remarked the little
man, "you know there is such thing as
cucumber wood ?"
go yes Of course" said the milkman,
apparently proud of his knowledge.
"And it is possible" continued the
cheese box orator, with a shade of sarcasm,
{" that your pump is made of that kind Of
wood, and"
But the milkman suddenly skipped out
and the conversation drifted into politics.
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1883-08-07
BROWN's IRON BITTERs is

BROWN's IRON BIITERs is
composed ofIron in soluble
form Clnchona the great
tonic, together with other
standard remedies, making
a remarkable non-alcoholic
tonic, which will cure Dys-
pepsia, Indigestion, Malaria.
Weakness, and relieve all
Lung and Kidney diseases.
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1883-08-07

her own way and be the better for the
exertion and discipline. No late hours,
unwholesome pleasures and dress, no mix
ing of school and Irritation, but simple
amusements, daily duties, and a purpose
III life to keep them girls at heart even
while preparing for the work and happi-
ness of women"
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1883-08-07
" "r,IIN-tNl EifiN-l
a SE.EGsaE DEFICIT IN EEEE;
RAIANl'E

Talk about making mistakes" said
John Newhouse, oi the West End Hotel
At Georgetown last evening, " the Farm
crs' and Mechanics Bank here made the
worst mistake ever heard OF on last
Saturday,
What was it :"
Why, sent my barkccper up to the
bank 10 ge; s. in nirke'>. The paying
teller handed him two packages rolled up
in paper bat they bad no mark on them
He brou4ht the packages down To- me and
| laid them On the shelf back of the bar.
Having II" occa>iou u use them until
Monday, "pcnel "nc Of thrln and found
that instead Of twcnty nickcs, it con-
tanned twenty 81 gold rirces-sloo. |
opened the other package and it CON
tanned twenty - gold pieces. So, YOU
See, instead OF s"nding me forty nckels
they had sent me forty 50 gold lcccs-in
all 5000.
Did you rectity the mi>take:"
Il did. | took them back, called Mr..
Berry. the pay!ng-tclcr, to one side and
gave him the gold. He thanked me and
gave me s. in nickcls and left, wonder
ING how in the world the bank made its
cash balance on Saturday night.
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1883-08-07
1t takes an Irishman to

1t takes an Irishman to turn a COM
pliment When he saw Jones, after hav-
ing met the latter with Mrs. j., Pat Nc
Flaherty said, eye are mooch younger
than your wife, surr" Presently he met
the wife and remarked, "The idea of
sich a young woman marrying MIR.
Jones ~ The next day he met them to-
gether, but he wasn't at loss for blar-
ney. "Och," he exclaimed, eye are
both Of yez too young for each other.
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1883-08-07
From the Texas Sliting-.i


g Mr. Plumbottle," said an Austin
man, " hear from numerous parties
around town that YOU are an awful liar,
one of those Jumbo prevaricatorS who
stretch the truth from Orient to Occdent
without swapping it once. How is it ?"
well, WE'LL" meekly replied Mr.. Plum
bottle, Il don't know about that. |
never made any such extravagant claims
as you speak OF, and l haven't the least
doubt in the world but that even you
could lay me oIt in the shade if | told
the first story"
Well, So long as you keep within the
shadow Of truth mi ght keep somewhere
in sight of you, ust give us one little lie
for a starter"
"II'm! yes, WE'LL" replied the mild
hammered Mr.. Plumbottle, let me see, |
once sucked 10 raw eggs at one sitting
Nineteen - answered the Austin
man, why that isn't circumstance to
what did once on wager when | was a
boy. Down back of my fathers barn
once sucked - raw eggs, and did it easy,
too
"Sucked - eggs, ell ?" knew stood
no show if you made me tell the first sto
ry, ha, ha. That's pretty good. Sure
you sucked 'em 20
"Yes, % hens eggs
ooh, hens eggs; well, forgot to men
tion my 10 eggs were ostrich eggs, hold
ing about three quarts apiece, 81 quarts,
about IA gallons and quarter. Figures
won't lie, you know. Good-day, must
drift along down town."
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1883-08-07
Miscellaneous Advertisements,

health and avoid sickness.
Instead of feeling tired and
worn out, instead of aches
and pains. wouldn't you
rather feel fresh and strong?
You can continue feeling
miserable and good for no.
thing. and no one but your
self can find fault, but if you
are tired Of that kind oflife.
You can change it if you
choose.
How ? By getting one
bottle of BROwN' IRON Bit
TIERS. and taking it regularly
according to directions.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-10-25
In q New York Saloon.

There is nothing cheap here, and
few kings have taken their toddy in bet
ter quarters. You walk up brownstone
steps under blazing lights into room
as bright and beautiful as any in New
York. If at night, the blaze of light
dazzles you, aud you might think you
had stumbled into palace A knight
in plated armor stands before you,
bronzes and statutes look at you from
different parts of the room. The most
elegant paintings hang surrounded by
rich velvet upon the wall, and great
mirrors of heavily-plated glass reflect
the many colored lights of the cut-glass
chandeliers. Everything is elegant here.
There is no shoddy and no veneering.
The room is paneled with carved ma
hogany, and the tables scattered here
and there over the Mosaic floor are of
the same polished wood. If you tax e
chair, it is of the bent wood of Aus
tria, and ifyou call for a drink you will
be served in cut-glass goblet, and
your change will be handed you by q
genllemanly waiter on silver platter.
A silver cuspidore, shining as bright as
Vanderbilt's spoons, stands beside you,
and if you ask for pretzel to eat with
your beer it will be brought to you on
a piece of porcelain decorated as beau
tifully as that on the Presidents table
/ Cor. C{ere}dRd Leader.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-10-25
Wisdom that Comes only with Years.

1t is a singular analogy which is of
fered with the life of human flowers by
the growth of those of Trailer and
more perishable sort. Fair and sweet
and delicate are youth and maiden
hood as the strawbell and anemone and
Irvine linn1as; rich and beautiful are
the early years of life as roses and car
nations are; but in the ripper, maturer
life is strength for vital work that needs
must exhaust the earth, so soon is it to
be followed by mild decay. Our states
men do their great work in this season;
our poets try their wings in May and
June, but their larger flight is now; our
novelists write from intuition only till
the ripeness of experience comes; our
young lawyers may have talent and
acumen, but they have not the power
that is theirs later with rounded intel
lect and completer knowledge of life
our young physicians may be fresh
from walking famous hospitals abroad,
but they have not the habits and mem
cries of twenty years by night aud day
at the side of sick beds to make their
wisdom seem like genius; our young
preachers may tickle the fancy with
their airy eloquence and gift of words,
but they will not touch the heart as they
do when they have tasted at all the
springs of sorrow and sympathy the
draught that added years, and they
alone, shall proffer them. 1t has need
ed what is equivalent to the fer
vent and accumulated heats which be-
long to that middle of life as of the
year, to call out a full force of what is
in them, and the flame burns then with
all its might, for presently it must fall
in ashes, presently the beats will all be
gone, no more will the vital efflux of
the receding sun send its impulse
through the roots of life, no more will
soul or flower expand to the rich light
of day, but the autumn damps and the
chill of the grave will rise round them.
--Hdrper's Bdzdr.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-10-25

a monument in memory of Frank
z. Blair, Jr., by Missouri admirers,
viii be unveiled on the 10th of next
May. at St. Louis The front panel
bears the inscription: Frank p. Blair,
Jr. Born February 10. 1921; Died July
3, 1879 and the rear panel these
words: This monument is raised to
commemorate the indomitable free-soiI
leader of the West; the herald aud
standard bearer of freedom in Missouri:
the creator of the first volunteer Union
army in the South; the savior OF the
state from secession; the patriotic citi
zen-soldler. who fought from the be-
ginning to the end of the war The
magnanimous statesman, who. as soon
as the war was over, breasted the storm
of prescription to restore to citizenship
the disfranchised Southern people, anc
finally the ineorruptible statesman
The day of the unwilling will be the
anniversary of the capture of CAM
jackson.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-10-25

| female may have boarded up. How
lucky it was that she came here, And
You must write and put Miss DE Bour-
goyne off, Alexandra. All our atten-
ton and time must be devoted to Aunt
| Philena now.
"Dear old ladyr' said Miss Alex
andra al love her already.
Miss Philena Jenkinson spent the
summer at the farm, and hard sum-
mer it was for her nephew and his
family.
The chickens were all killed, because
their matutinal Growing disturbed the
old lady's slumbers; the barn was
moved down into the meadow below
the swamp, because the cows would
persist in lowing at untimely hours and
seasons; the trees which shaded the
house were mercilessly leveled by the
declared that they harbored mosquitoes
and bred blue mould.
The entire household was put on
vegetarian diet, and compelled to eat
Graham bread, and drink cold water.
The President of the Mullein-stalk
Bank was brought up in Hosea's buggy
wagon on an average of once a week
to talk finance, and Miss Philena mail
ed mysterious letters at intervals to the
Secretary of the Treasury, the officials
of most of the metropolitan trust COM
panies, and all the prominent bank
officers whom she had ever heard of.
Hosea Jenkinson went about musing
deeply on percentages and profits.
Mrs. Jenkinson's plump face assumed
troubled and careworn expression,
Alexandra herself began to wonder what
she would ever do with so much money
when she came into possession oft.
And summer waned into autumn. and
autumn froze and concealed itself into
winter, and the Jenkinsons settled into
a state of the most abiect slavery and
bondage to the terrible old woman who
talked and dreamed, night and day, of
nothing but her money
Until one day she died.
All the neighbors rallied to the fun
eral. Even the President of the Null
lein-stalk Bank drove through the
snowdrifts to be present at the OBJ
sequies
''And to Think said he, "that she
died without having found suitable in
vestment for that money! Perhaps
can be useful to Mr. Jenklnson, for of
course he will be the legateen'
Don't say word, said old Deacon
Lidgeriield, with chuckle. 1.-The
family are all up stairs in a terrible
pucker. They've had Lawyer Croker
here to read the will. And how much
dye s'posc the old woman has leftp''
Il am sure | cannot guess" said the
bank president.
Jest hundred and fifty dollars -
said Deacon Liderfield. "And that is
bequeathed to an old lady's home out in
Ohior'
The president of the Mullein-stalk
Bank whistled a noiseless whistle; the
funeral was over, and thus persisted all
the hopes which the Jenkinson family
had so fondly entertained of inheriting
a fortune!-Heten Forrest GraUeS.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-10-25
TNAKES UP-HoGs.

By the subscriber on lands occupied by f.
Crapp in section II. range 3. town Of Potosi II
head of Hogs all of which have slit in the left
ear. Three of which are white, the balance
black and white spotted. Also one spotted hog
with no slit in ear. The owner is requested to
call, pay charges, prove property and take said
estrays away E CRAPP.
32wl POtosi, Wis.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-10-25
Trihes.

What will ii matter in little while
That for day.
We met and gave a word, a touch smile,
Upon the wayy
What will ID matter whether hearts were brave
And lives were true;
That you gave me the sympathy crave,
As gave your
These triAes CAN'T be they make or mar
A human life?
Are souls as lightly swayed as rushes are
BY love or strife:
Yes, yea a look the faintng heart may break,
Or make it whole;
And just one word, If said for loves sweet sake
May save soul!
-PhtkNdeiphia Record
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-10-25

An Irish lawyer, having addressed
the court as gentlemen, instead of
eyer honors," after he had concluded,
brother of the bar reminded him of
his error He Immediately arose, and
apologized thus: May it please the
court, In the haste of debate called yer
honors gentlemen. | made mistake,
yer honors. The speaker then sat
down.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-10-25

nell neL ...... Unknown $3.50. 81
TOWN 8, RANGE s--wATTERsTowN
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-10-25
Unredemed Lands
NOTICE FOR TAX DEED.
toFFICIAL)
OFFICE OF THE COUNTY crrpK

orflCE OF THE COUNTY CLERK. i
LANCASTER, Grant Co., Wis
August, 18th 1888 |
Notice is hereby given that the following des.
eribed lands, and village and city lois n the
County of Grant and State OF Wisconsin - ,vars
sold by the Treasurer of said County on the inn
day of May 1881, for the DELINQUENT taxes ~ 1881
The amount set opposite each tract Of Iand
village or city lot is the amount of tax interest
and charges, due thereon, computed up 10 the
last day of redemption.
Now. therefore, unless the taxes and ebaryas
are paid on the following described traces on land
village and city lots, on or before the nth day OF
May, A. y; 1854, the same will be conveyed by tax
deed TO the purchasers, according to the pro
visions of law.
lABBREvIATIoSs.--e, east; ne, northeast: Sc
southeast; W, west; NV, northwest; sw, south
west; n, north; s, south; com, commencing; beg.
beginning; run, running; &C, acre: blk block:
sec. section; IT., feet; I'd, rods; lks, links chs
chains; adm, addition; pit, part; adj. adjoining;
eontg, containing; ex, except und undivided:
cor, corner; fracl, fractional; bd, bounded; th,
thence.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-10-25
?V,F..s ..s.! s.; SIS: : 4: 4:
dos ~

balance Timber and Pasture Living Water
Timber for fencing and firewood, large Frame
House, a frst-class Cellar. Well and Cistern at
Door. two Good Orchards Situated in Little
Grant Wisconsin, section and 10 ten miles from
Lancaster, on the Prairie du CHEN road, will
sell at twenty dollars per Acre or exchange for
improved Land in State OF Iowa.
The other a nice Farm of 100 Acres within =
mile of North Andoyer. A new Frame House.
Good Springs, etc. etc, in township Of Glen
Haven, Wis. section 10. will sell for $500 per
Acre. A Twenty or Forty Acre Timber Lot can
be had with this il desired. cheap. For further
particulars enquire of
BASFORD & HUMPHREY.
22m3 Glen Haven Wis
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-10-25
ALSO FOR SALE

-EtII III UIdht County, Wlsconsln-
FORTY Acres Pasture Land on Green River.
20 Acres Timber Land in town of Marion.
q Splendid Business Lots in Fennimore Center.
20 Residence Lots in City Of Boscobel.
Large Grain WAREHOUSE in BoscobeI.
Store Building on Wis. Az. in BoscobeI
Having interests elsewhere which require my
attention, | will sell on favorable terms.
Apply to c. ID. PARKER, No. 33I Hen
nepin ave-, Room No. I, Minneapolis, MINI.
Or to Bank of A. ]. Pipkin, Boscobel, Wis
a6m3
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-10-25
Village of wyalusing.

e.. w. HILL,
County Clerk.
Grant Co., Wisconsin.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-03-01
The wabash Failing.

FISCENNEs, IND, February ..
The Wabash River has gradually fallen. I'M
VI it is now but twenty feet in the CHANNEL
This is still high, and a great amount Of water
is yet covering the lands bordering upon the
river. The Ohio & Mi -sissippi Railroad was
repaired sufficiently for trains TO pass over
the track last night, and-trains are now run
ming regularly. The Wabash Railroad Is torn
60 pieces in several places, bnt W Il be re-
paired on short order. A bridge at Pale tine
was badly damaged, ana only saved from
drifting away by ropes holding it int posi-
ton.
Two hundred miners at the Washington
Coal Mines are out of work because of con-
siderable water in the mines If work Is not
resumed soon we may experience miniature
coal famine. The relief association organized
here Friday night for the purpose OF re der
ing aid to home sufferers, raised about $500
yesterday in this city. They ars still en-
71ioyed ia the noble and charitable occupa-
ton. The special committee, consisting OF
Hon. T. 7. Rely. Hon. R. 6. Evans ana Mayor
SeaEight, who went 80 indianapolis 20 cure
money from the legislative relief fund. re-
turned last night with s. COO. An additional
amounts expected and promised Our poor
and deatitute are now in good prosnect Of Sc
curing the help they absolutely need ana the
work OF distributing tood and elota{n8 VII
begin s. eneA
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-03-01
LATE NEWS ITEMS.

In the United States Senate on the
oath the Legislative Appropriation bill
was passed. In the House the bill passed
to preveat importation of adulterated tea.
Majority and minority reports on the Mis-
sissippi River improvements were submits
ted. The Sundry Civil bill passed. A tele-
gram was read announcing that 3,475 feet
of the Government work at Plum Point had
been carried away. The report on T. T.
Majors claim to a seat as contingent MEM
Der from Dakota, charging him with mis-
representation, was adopted.
THE news from the Lower Mississippi
was far from cheerful on the 18th. The works
on the levees was being interrupted by disa-
greements between laborers and contractors
The food at Cairo had reached the highest
point ever known. Trouble, suffering and
want were following the flood throughout
the Wabash and Ohio River bottoms.
The mill of the st. Joe Lead Works
at Bonnie Terre, Mo-, were destroyed by
fire on the 18th. Several hundred hands
were thrown out Of employment and prop
erty valued at a quarter Of a million dollars
was consumed.
THE resignation of Lieutenant Com
mander GOrringe, U. S. N, has been &C.
eepted.
KERR, the embezzling clerk of a Chi
cago banking house, was reported arrested
in Australia on the oath.
A PRUssIAN Lieutenant of Uhlans,
having been dismissed the service, COM
mitted suicide.
The French Chamber of Deputies has
given the Government vote of confidence.
HARRINGTON, the imprisoned Land
Lacquer, has been elected member Of the
British Parliament for Westmeath.
TIE Missouri Free-Trade League was
organized at Kansas City the other evening.
Ex-Governor Phelps was elected President.
The New Albany (Ind.) Relief Com
mittee announces that no more aid is needed
from abroad.
REAR ADMIRAL CLIrz has ordered
an inquiry as to the cause of the loss of the
United States war ship Ashnelot.
THREATS have been made to blow up
the Kremlin Palace Al the time OF the Rus
sian Cars coronation.
The President, Cashier and book
keeper Of the wrecked city Bank of Jersey
City, N. j., have been taken to the Peni-
Tertiary.
SEVEN inmates Of the Western Luna
tic Asylum, At StsuntOn. Va, were fatally
poisoned recentlySshe medicine having been
tempered with by patients.
NATHAN S. BENNETT has been ar
rested in New York City for buying At about
one-seYenlh lis value $4,000 worth Of jeW.
slTy stolen tFon ex.seasteg Chgistianey.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-03-01
FORTY-sEVENTH CONGRESS.

FEBRUARY 19.-In the Senate, MI. jack
son presented the credentials of his colleague,
Mr.. Harris. Read and fled. The President
quOis Club, of Chicago, I'LL, praying Congress
to accept the Illinois and Michigan Canal with
a view of making it the national waterway to
the Mississippi River. The bill granting q
pension TO Major General w arren was agreed
TO. The Senate viii hereafter meet at ten
O'Clock 8. m MIR. Vest announced that he
would ask consideration OF the resolution for
q cOmmittee TO investigate the Yellowstone
Park matter as soon as the Tariff bill was DIS
posed of. ATLer an executive session, discus
sion of the Tariff bill consumed the remain
der OF the session. the House the Sun
dry Civil bill was reported and referred to
Committee of the Whole. The report in the
Iowa, declaring the contestant entitled &c the
seat was submitted and laid over. Among
the bills introduced was one to reduce duties
on articles imported into the United States
ntteen per cent. after Jnly !. Resolutions were
offered calling for correspondence relating to
the Hawaiian sugar treaty, the treatment of
Jews In Russia, the distribution OF the surplus
States for the maintenance of schools and the
payment OF debts, and the Signal Service. IN
der the call OF committees for motions to -sua-
pend the rules Mr. Kelley, from the Commit
tee on Wa avs and Means moved to pass the
Dill to reduce internal revenue taxation.
nays, 9E-nOt the requisite two thirds in the
Affirmative.
FEBRUARY 2O.-In the Senate, the House
BIN for extending the time for Hing Alabama
claims vas passed with Amendments, Consid-
.; alton of she Tariff bill was resumed and
efteF aispaslRg e TeEeeas emsnep3ants tRs
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-03-01
MISCELLANEOUS Items.

Changes have been made in Kansas
post offices recently as follows: Post-offices
established-Gilbert, Clark County, John
L. Benson, Postmaster. Discontinued
Antoine, Pawnee County; Jefferson, Repub-
lie County; Leopold, Republic County.
Postmasters ppoihted-Theodore Keller,
Adams Peak, Pottawatomie County; Ira
Jennings, Agnes, Lyon County; w. E..
Sawyer, Comet, Brown County; j. W.
Graves, Norton, Norton County; George A.
COury, Reading, Lyon County; A. F. Baker.
Waytown, Linn County; Daniel O'Connor,
Wyc0fl, Russell County.
William Short, section foreman on
1ured near AtchIsOn recently by being
knocked of hand-car on which he and his
men were going to work. The ear passed
over his body, mangling it in 3 frightful
manner, crushing his head and chest. he
left a large family.
TIE State Senate has confirmed the
nomination of George C. Graves, of Shaw
nee, to be Brigsdier- General of militia.
Governor Click has recently appoint
ed John r. Parsons Notary Public for
Sedgwick County, and Samuel Crawford for
Nemaha County.
Lawrence has struck coal-oil.
A special agent of the POst-ofice De-
partment recently Investigated the affairs Of
the National Marriage Aid Association Of
Topeka and has reported it as being one of
the worst swindIes he has ever been called
upon 20 investigate. The books were said
to show balance Of twenty dollars on hand,
while theirs was about 600 due the BEN
efciaries.
William Archsr, who was said TO
be one OF the parties engaged in the recent
safe robbery At Frankfort, was arrested at
seneca few days ago and sent to Frankfort
seg