Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-06-10

Anu CLht anu laugh
To my lovely
New spring calf
Chicago Eye.
ArrRorRnTE sign for fashionable no.
tel: Dude Drop Inn."-Rome Sentinel.
An Atlantic City hotel will display the
following sign this year: "In God We
trust, but dudes pay weekly in advance" "
A MAN lately married, was asked at the
club about his bride. us she pretty
NO, replied he, she is not, but she will
be when her father dies.
81 CANT 20 to Europe" a lady is reported
to have said; I'm reading forty.ive con-
tinued stories, and my limited means
would not allow me to pay the postage
TX.
BARNuM got the cheapest lot of advertis-
ing last week on the occasion OF his canvas
burning up that ever he received-Sl5,0oO
for a half column in almost every paper in
the land.
SoME hsrd-hearted individual suggests
that John l.. Sullivan enter the political
ring OF Massachusetts, He'd get Knocked
out on the first round If the people had
any spunk.
I'm ryesing young man. remarked
Main street clerk the other night at Queens
when he'd just got full enough of the
curse of Canada to be musically inclined.
Winnipeg City.
JAY GOULD reads Greek with the greatest
facility, and number of people have been
heard to express the wish that he would
90 to Hellas soon as possible, and stay
there.-Detroit ChaT.
MyS,srERIAL students parading the streets
OF New York town, yelling ike Turks
and breaking street lamps, and women in
nude condition being baptized to the Nor
mon faith in North Carolina, are the latest
cuts in crank fashion.
NOT long ago a California gentleman
struck town in Kentucky, and was asked
by the landlady OF the hotel hi, business
I'm a miner" he replied. Then your
no good here she shouted. This is only
a place for majors "-D-akes Travellers
Magazine.
Tue Marquis of Queensbury, brother of
Lady Florence Dixie, has said that the
story OF the assault upon that lady is strict
! ly true. AS Mr.. Queensbury is the man
/ who has had SO many rules for pugilists
named after him, it is not probable that his
word will be openly doubted in the matter.
Peek Sun.
AM now the season has arrived when
! the modest young girl who wouldn't wear
a slipper in the parlor fearing she might
show her ankle, will 60 to the sea shore
and tramp around with no more apparel
on her walking stick than a barn-yard hen
wears. It's the style, you know.
"WHl don't you go TO a summer resort,
jones you took as though you needed
rest
FIFTY cents, al old jack knife and la
| year straw hat won't go far. friend Smith,
in corneripg the sea breeze or mountain
air. don't GO
40 you think smokers are Il nisance?"
I u Atu q man VI lab IuNI'ii
/ who sat next him on the train.
No. sir do not, emphatically growled
the person addressed, as he got up and
( vert into another car.
Who is that man inquired the first
speaker, turning to a fe!low.traveler.
! He's q ham curer, and runs a big
smoke house down town" was the reply.
All murmured the Harlem man, re-
laps.ng into sudden Standardization
/ Times.
/ "SoNE OF the best citizens OF New York
attend glove fight between two ignorant
b-uise-s. All sorts of respectable enter
tainments are being held in that city TO
raise funds Tor the erection of the Statue OF
Liberty, but the funds don't augment very
rapidly. 1t is now proposed, by persons
who opposed the Passion Play, to get up a
series OF legalizcd prize fights for the ben
eft OF tie statue. It evidently needs some
| such heightened assistance to give it a
boost.-Norristown Herald.
TALK about memory" said an Arkan-
sas man. I've got the most retentive
memory OF any man in the country. can
remember things that occurred when was
child.
Il don't think that your memory is so
very good. said an Acquaintance, You
borrowed ten dollars from me some time
ago and you have forgotten the circuu-
stance
mo, sir, yeu. are wrong. You have
doubtless noticed that / keep out of the
way. Well, that is on sccount of my
memory. "-Arkansas Traveller.