Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-12-20
Nnmurpns @epart,uent.
A TUSSLE IN. THE DARK.


can sleep, but don't know. Lying around
town don't agree with me. 1 am used te
work, and if I had a couple of trees to CHOP
down I think I could regain some of my
lost physical force"
"Don't you call preaching work 90 asked
Brother Mulkittle.
"Well, it is work after fashion, but il
don't loosen up the joints like splitting rails
Did YOU ever split rails?"
"No, and hope never SHALL"
II hope youdo notconsider yourselfabovf
such work ?''
"Its not that, Brother Clint. 1 Idon'tcon
slider myself above milking cow. but &c
not care to engage in the exercise"
"Why did you single out cow? ?"
"Just happened to think of cow, that's
ALL"
"Didn't somebody tell you that I milk
II have never heard of anything of the
kind"
ssThen you are certain you meant no dis
respect to me when you referred to the
coW?"
posterous."
"Not so preposterous as you may suppose
sir. I know town people have disposition
to make fun of people who live in the coun:
try, and want you to understand that II
am country preacher, amt slouch.
can preach allaround any man in this town.
~ think you are Over-sensltlve, Brother
Clint, and are disposed to be quarrelsome
This should be an occasion of great brother,
ly love, and understand me when say that
erWise. Your bed is ready, and there IS
lamp in YOUR room. Good night"
Col. Clint, without replying, sought his
room. He lay on his bedand tossed awhile,
and then remorse began to seize him. ~
would 60 down and ask his PARDON he
unused, 7'but he's gone to bed. Hello, what's
that?" and he listened. "SomebOdy out
side quarreling with Mulkittle. I'll 60
down and maui the wretch"
Just as Mr. Mulkittle had stretched him
self on the bed, his wife, in a great fright,
exclaimed:
''There is somebody trying to get in at
the front door,"
"Mr. Mulkittle went to the door and de-
manded, "Who's there""
''Me," "replied voice.
Who's me?"
81 don't know who you are," replied the
voice of a drunken man. "Must have been
out mighty late with the boys if you halter
ask every feller that comes along who you
are. Who do you reckin you are, anyway"'
and he laughed and slapped himself.
eff you don't 60 away from there, I'll
come out and hurt you"
"You are the man L want to do business
with"
."I am eh ?" and Mr.. Mulkittle threw
open the door. The fellow ran away, Mr..
Mulkittle following him to the yard gate.
Just as the preacher re-entered the door, ne
was confronted by the colonel. The colonel
mistook Mulkittle for burglar, and 1T
flashed across Mulkittle's mind that the
drunken dodge had been a device to get him
away from the door so that a robber could
enter. The two men did not speak, but
grappled with each other. Mulkittle is not
slow in ''tussle," and the colonel, fact
proudly recorded by historians, is at home
in hand to hand encounter. There was
lust light enough in the hall for the men to
see each other, but not enough to admit OF
recognition. SeIectinghis opportunity with
the circumspection of a physical scientist,
Mr. Mulkittle planted stunning blow be-
tween the eyes of his adversary, but ere ne
could follow up the advantage thus gained,
the colonel violating the international
treaty, struck Mulkittle below the belt,
shutting him up like knife. The colonel
sprang forward to avail himself of the point
gained, but Mulkittle Strengthened up with
the colonel on the back Of his neck. Then
followed series of scramblings witha view
to proper adjustment. Just at this time
Mrs. Mulkittle rushed into the hall with the
handle of duster. She leveled blow, she
did not know at whom, but it struck the
colonel across the ankle bone.
"Hold on !" he yelled, 81 pass. l can
stand a good deal, but when 1 get crack
across the ancle bone Pm DONE"
"GreatIheavens !" exclaimed Mrs. Mulkit-
tie, "is it you?"
'sOh, no." replied the colonel in agony,
''it's not me. It's the feller that keeps the
bring light. This is very unfortunate,
declare"
"Yes," the colonel replied sits Id un-
fortunate. don't use such expressions, as
rule; that is, 1 don't swear by note, but
when man deliberately sets trap for me,
after speaking contemptuously Of my milk
ing cows, and then gets his wife to hop out
and whack me with pole, then L shut up
the hymn book and swear"
You are entirely wrong, my dear broth
er-"
Don't brother me. I'll take you out here
and break you against a tree. Lemme get
the balance of my clothes and I'll leave
you."
When he came down stairs again, Mrs.
Mulkittle, seeing that her husband had
failed, attempted to effect compromise,
but he waived her off. mo, Madam, your
husband may be good man, and may
walk beside all the still waters he can find
and loll in all the green pastures in the
neighborhood, but when man instructs
his wife to whack my ankle bone, Pm done,
Good night" and he sought the cheap lodg'
ing-house.
AN EMERGENCY.-Detroit Free Press
A few days ago man with meek and
humble expression, and wearing summer
suit of clothes, applied to one of the railway
passenger agents for a dead head pass tC
Toledo.
"Why do you want to 60 to Toledo:"
'TO get married"
"And you haven't any money!"
"Not above twenty-five cents"
Hadn't you better be worth your fare t.
Toledo before taking wife on your hands
for support?'
"You don't understand the case" pro
tested the man. II am going to marry 8
widow worth at least $4,000, and the frs
thing will do will be to remit you the
price of ticket. Pm poor and the widow
knows it, but she marries me for love-"
"He protested so long and earnestly thai
he was finally passed down the road. Two
DAYS elapsed and then letter was received
from him saying:
Heaven bless you for your kindness
Reached here all right and married tht
widow according to program. 1t turns ou
that she isn't worth a copper. In thi
emergency may I ask you to pass us both tt
Detroit, where 1 have hopes of striking {