Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-03-21
Old EysHa Punnher.

The other morning. while the urban
manager of Woodward's Gardens wa
smoking a-four-bit cigar, and medita
lively listening to the muffl d walls o
a tomcat that had Just been swallowed
alive by the anaconda, tall, thin, scieu
tific-looking man, with a goatee and
blue glasses, entered the gate and re-
marked in an insinuating manner:
OF course, you pass the scientific
fraternity"
"Of course, we do noti" said the
Snowman. emphatically.
"What, not the servants, not the PIC
neers in the great march OF the mind
into the hitherland of the intimate be-
yond2' returned the professor, with
great surprise.
81 will not deceive you, sarcastically
replied the proprietor of the only saIa-
mander; we pass nothing but the
qnills on the fretful porcupines-I mean
the press. You cant see the ost idges
unless you come down and put up
Dear De, dear mei'' sighed the sci
enlist, refliectively. '.To think that
professor of cosmographic conchology
should be denied admittance to third
class Zoo Has the Skamgahbus been
fed yet?"
"Skam--which?" asked the tiger
importer.
''Why, the Skamgatibus; you've got
ole. haven't you?"
''Ye-e-s-s; 1 believe we've a small
femals somewheres, sail the grizzly's
friend, doubtfully.
Way. l never knew first class col-
lection to have less than two pairs, said
the professor. contemptuously; show
do your Azimuths stand this cold
weather, ehp'
"Azimuths?" asked the Napoleon ag-
gregator OF curIosities; "what's them?"
Some kind of bird-you don't mean
ostri- 2"
"Ostridges be haAged?' said the
successor of Darwin; "Ostridges are
I've shot more ostrldges with |
quail shot than you've got hairs on your
head. You don't actually mean to sit /
there and tell me you haven't got a
single Azimuth to your back?'
Don't believe have" admitted the
alligator breeder, mortified; what are
they ike?"
"Oh they're of the Order SpiGalis,
about eight feet high. Fur peels Off in
the spring, you know-the Siberian
species. mean, | suppose you've
got one of those Rectangular African
Fipgoohlies that reached New York the
otber day?"
'No, said the much agitated show
man; ''here I've been keeping an agent
N New York on a big salary to look out
or attractions and he doesn't catch on
@ the first blamed thing, Spends all
'ur money on secondhand panthers
md kaGgaroos with the rheumatics. III
,ounce him by telegraph"
Haven't even got Flipgoohly, eh?"
nused the scientist, in tone of great
'ity. "And l shouldn't be surprised if
-ou didn't have a Golden Crested Uus- l
'idor in your whole SHOW"
Neither have-neIGner have, re-
lied the wretched promoter of pelicans
Il tone of great bitterness. Spose
'ou Just step in, sir, and LOOK round;
nebbe there is something else you !
ould say"
"N-n-o, L guess not said the tall
nan. ''It would hardly pay me to
pend so much valuable scientific time
u a fourth-class show like this. Not
wen an Azimuth. eh? / should think
-ou'd be afraid OF being actually
nObbed some time. I'm sorry for you,
ny good man; sorry for you. I've no l
loubt you mean well, but-not soh-
airy Skamgatibus-Great Scottl'
And as the disciple of Audubon passed
nto saloon across the street and
wapped a lead nictle for a glass of
'eer the bar-keeper heard him chuckle
omething to the effect that he mad got
ven on that old hyena puncher, and i
ont you forget it.