davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23
THE DUDE.
Kate Field Indorses the Chinese Method
for His Extinction.



for His Extinction.
New York Journal.
In the course of an interview by a
Journal representative, Miss Kate Field
was asked for her opinion concerning
the dude:
Holding up her hands in gesture of
utter deprecation she exclaimed; ''The
dude is my horror-a creature who fills
me with disgust. OF all the social ex-
crescencies inflicted upon that peculiar
American bulb called society | deem
him the most useless kind of fungus.
Has he one redeeming point? If he has,
pray tell me, forI cannot find it. He
has no individuality, no manhood, no
quality, even ofthe most incipient order
and all that | can see that he is good for
is to nurse his cane and flatten his nose
at a club window. Now in England the
British dude is usually helpless kind Of
young man upon whom the accident of
birth has fallen. His parents have mon
ey, and there is raison d'etre' for his
existence. Here there is, or should be
none. can scarcely suppose for the
credit of my nationality that he is an out
growth Of our republican system-for, if
he is, it is strong argument againt re-
publics."
"Hsve You any proposition for the ox-
tinction of the dude?"
"Do you know that think we might
borrow useful hint from the Chinese
method of overcoming the difficulty.
There, am told, when the population
of given constituency is larger than
convenience warrants it is customary for
State officials TO 20 around every morn
ing, gather up the female babies, put
them in bag and lay them carefully
away where they'll never trouble any
body. Now if the dudes were treated ia
similar fashion they would soon pass out
of existence and the world would hear
no more of them. Really, in the inter-
est of the great majority, | think the
plan has its merits"
"Could you not draw me picture of
the dude?"
"Take strip of something that for the
sake of convenience we will call man
which, by the way, is gross libel on
man. Around its neck place a tight col
| lar enshrouded with hideous scarf and
breastpin. Put upon it silk hat and a
critaway coat. Clothe its lower extremi-
ties with pants wherein calves were new
er meant to grow. In its hand cane.
and on its feet boots that creak at every
step in limping measure. Place ciga-
rette in its mouth; teach it brief vocab-
ulary of adverbs and adjectives commenc-
ing with immensely clever and finish
ing with, see you later, you know and
in my humble opinion you obtain fair
conception of the brains and capacity of
the American dude. But let us change
the subiect-it is not enlightening.'
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23
Drunk with &2,4OO.
Hartford Courant.

John Driscoll is a granger up East
Windor Hill way. He came to the city
yesterday TO complete negotiations for
selling his farm and by the middle of the
afternoon was in very happy frame of
mind.
Friends who knew of the transaction
of the farm sale interceded with the po
lice TO take him in and relieve him of his
money until his condition was more fav-
orable so Patrolmau Tinker tolled him
to the station house, where the chief and
captain of police took him in hand. Mr.
Driscoll was very 10th to believe that the
thing proposed by the officials was in
tended for his own good, so he had to be
held by squad of policemen while his
pockets were ritled. One of the many
packages taken from him was opened,
and bank notes to the extent OF s., 2,40l
were counted out and locked up in the
safe.
Mr.. Barton Fairchild of Union City. Ind, /,
writes: ~ have used DR.. Guysotts Yellow
Dock and Sarsaparilla as blood purifier
and for kidney complaint and dyspepsia.
1t has given good satisfaction. never felt
50 strong and well before in long time. -
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23
A RUNAWAY BICYCLE.
At the Mercy of the Veloci-
pede with a Broken
Brake.
Running Down the Mountain side at the
Speed OF "a Mile n Minute.
Chicago Tribune.

Our mine, the Spondulix, of Colorado,
was the highest on the range. 1t was
2,670 feet above Silver Brick station, and
nine miles distance from the village
From the works up to the mines there
was a broad, hard, smooth road, used for
carting ore down from the mines aud
hauling supplies up. The average grade
down the mountain was 800 feet to the
mile in some places it was considera-
bly, sleeper, and at intervals almost level
The road was made partly on the bare
rock, and wound up a narrow gulch !;
presently it climbed outside the chasm,
and here mt several places the road bed
had been blasted out of the solid rock,
or cut into the perpendicular side of the
mountain but everywhere the road was
almost as smooth and hard rs floor
Knowing that loose stone might cost
the lives Of both teamster and team,
where sometimes the brakes would not
entirely check the descent of an ore
wagon, until one of the nearly level
places had been reached, the teamsters
were careful to keep the surface of the
road clean and smooth.
BY constant practice managed at last
to ride my fifty-two inch university ~
roadster up the whole slope TO the Spon-
dulix, of course resting at levels, but my
chief delight was the coasting down
again; it required skill, good deal of
nerve, and firm grasp of the brake.
One evening an accident occurred to
one of those engaged at the mine. ! in
stantly got out my bicycle, explaining
that could go swifter than a horse
down the slope. In few minutes had
on my riding suit and was Off
The night was clear and crisp; the full
moon, except in few curves, shone
directly into the gulch, lighting up the
road Leaning well back. with my legs
over the handles, and firm finger on
the brake, allowed the wheel to glide
down the first long slope AT a speed
which ! had never dared to venture be-
fore. Finding the motion safe, allowed
the machine 10 run faster and still
aster. Over the first level ] shot like
an arrow. Down the next slope | SEEM
ed to glide on the rushing wind. Then
| turned curve upon the next level
Knowing every inch of the road, how
ever, did not slacken speed, except
very slightly.
As | flew over the top of the next
slope, a steep plunge of nearly half q
mile, another curve completely shut ont
the moon, making the road almost as
dark as pocket. Here | put down the
brake hard, and checked my speed ma
terially. Still / knew the road so well
that 1 had no fear But just as | was
upon the steepesi plunge of the slope
Clink
S,mething flew from the machine like
bullet. Instantly the wheel darted
forward like the rush of frightened
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23
WILKINS WISDOM.
Whitehall "a. " Times.

Whitehall "a. W Times.
REvAMPED
Mans a vapor.
Fun of woes,
Starls paper"
Now he knows,
lie who for a little "tin"
Starts paper-gc,s tuck in"
Church music is easy enough to q
choir.
None are so blind as those who shut
their eyes to wrong.
1t NAV do to trust in Providence"
but it will not always do to trust, in
Whitehall.
A pony of brandy before retiring will
grow to nightmare before morning.
4 fight among the bosses results in
more boss schism.
The dude is the connecting link be-
tween man and puppy.
Peck's Bad Boy is having as big a run
as such bad boys usually do.
The man who kills two organ grinders
where one lived before, is public bene-
factor.
We are going to start newspaper an d
call it Cooper Coin" 1t win have a
large circulation and be cent everywhere.
Little gold pigs are worn as ornaments
probably because they are styelish -
New York World Should not use your
pen to hold the pork creatures like that.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23
kamehameha's War Cloak.
Youths Companion.

The Sandwich Island chiefs used to
wear on ceremonious occasions cloaks
made of feathers. Each feather was fas.
tened separately into loop of fine
string, so that the inside of the cloak re-
sembed closely woven net. So smooth
ly were the feath ers laid on the surface
that the cloak appeared as a rich, glossy
fabric. Miss Cummings, in her recent
work of the kingdom of Hawaii, entitled
"The Fire Fountain" gives the follow
ing description of the feather cloak of
the great Kamehameha, which is still
worn as the coronation robe:
zone very rare and precious feather
was reserved by the hunters for the king,
who alone had the privilege of wearing
cloak of these glossy, golden treasures.
"The bird which yields this priceless
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23
AMO TE.
How a Harvard Student Brought Desola-
tion to Happy Home.
New York World

Mrs. Blatherskite lives on Fifth avenue.
Last Week Mr.. Erudite, q Harvard stu
dent paid her visit. She told him to
stay a month. He consented. She tele-
graphed to Vassar College for her daught-
er Grace to come down Immediately.
Grace came. Mrs. b. wanted Mr.. Erudite
TO become her son-in-law. Mr.. Erudite
was bashful, but thought he could. Mrs.
b. knowing the worth of evidence
should he ever back out and breach of
promise ensue, told the maid to keep a
sharp eye on Mr.. Erudite and Grace.
The maid did.
Billing and cooling noted by maid
Mrs. b. to maid: "What does Mr..
Erudite say to Miss Grace when they
meet in the norningW
Maid to Mrs. B.: "FIe says ma'am,
Have more tea | think the poor young
gentleman isn't right in his bead, ma'am.
He says Have more tea,' so often to Miss
Grace. Here's card, ma'am that he put
under her door yesterday morning, but
he spells 50 odd. He has no in his
tea"
"Give me that card. Dear me, what
does it mean2 'Amo tie, amo te.' Surely,
that's Greek. Happy thought. III ask
Professor Buchsmeller what it means
when he comes to give Grace her Latin
lesson.
=, q
Heidelberg. Is dead in love with Mrs.
Blatherskite. Never told her so. Never
told her husband so.
Mr.. Buchsmeller rings. Mrs. T. takes
him into the back parlor and hands him
the card with "Amo te" on it.
Mr.. Buchsmeller throws his arms
around the neck of Mrs Blathcrskite
and give her 992 kisses. He cxclaims
"My cup of happiness is filed. My love,
my darling, let us leave this very day
hy on the wings of love and leave your
pig and husband"
Mr.. Blatherskite comes home early.
Meets Mr.. Erudlte IN the dlnlng-room.
Both walk up to the parlor. Both wit
ness the tableau. Mrs. Blatherskite
faints.
The gentleman from Heidelberg jumps
through the window minus hat, sans
spectacles.
VIII.
Mrs. Blatherskite is served with a
summons and complaint in divorce pro-
ccedings.
Mr.. Erudite goes back to Harvard a
bachelor.
Amo te.
Anglice, love thee.
Finis.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23
LIVING FOR LOVE.
JOSEPH ALPHoSsUs FARRELL


This life at best is nothing more
Than one dull, changeless run
I'm sad when morn lights up the sky,
I'm sad when day is done,
The world hath charms, for all know,
For me no charms there be;
The day may gloomy be, or bright,
'Tis all the same TO me.
Then what's fhe use OF living, pray,
In such a world as this,
With shadows clinging round my heart
And not one spark OF bliss?
But who is this behind my chair,
Comes stealing as i write?
'Tis she, tbs she, sweet Bessie, dear,
With eyes ali blue and bright.
She throws her arms about my neck
This maid with golden hair-
And reads the words that here ! write,
Then whispers in my ear.
"You silly boy You silly boy
What foolish lines are these2
Life hath no charms? II has, it has
Now listen, II you please
Ibid you not say the other night
To me-speak true, speak true
Did you not say that love alone
Was joy enough fDr you2
"Did you not speak those very words?
Now answer as you're bid"
"In truth, in liuth, I'd quite fo-got,
did, dear girl, did.
"rheu out upon such idle thou hts.
I'll eyermore lie gay
I'll live tor love-l'd live for love,
Forevar and day"
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

A book agent named Joe Smyrk,
Was put out and hurt by a jerk,
He says as a cure,
st. Jacobs Oil is sure,
At all tunes to get in its work.
A lightning-rod man in st. Paul,
From house had a serious fall,
Though battered and bruised,
He said, when he used
st. Jacobs Oil-"it simply beats all
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23
Vital QuestionslI

Ask the most eminent physician
Uany school, what is the best thing in
the world for quieting and alIaying all ir-
ritation of the nerves and curing all
forms of nervous complaints, giving
natural childlike refreshing sleep always7
And they will tell you unhesitatingly
"some form of Hops !"
CHAPTER I.
Ask any or all ofthe most eminent phy-
sicians:
What is the best and only remedy that
can be relied on to cure all diseases ofthe
kidneys and urinary organs such es
Bright's disease, diabetes, retention or in
ability to retain urine, and all the diseas-
es and ailments peculiar to Women
emphatically "Buchu."
Ask the same physicians
what is the most reliable and surest
cure for all liver diseases or dyspepsia,
constipation, indigestion, billiousness.
malarial fever, ague, &c." and they will
tell you:
Mandrake or Dandelionw M
Hence, when these remedies are COM
bined with others equally valuable
And compounded into Hop Bitters,
such wonderful and mysterious cura-
tive power is developed which is so
varied in its operations that no disease or
i'll health can possibly exist or resist its
and yet it is
Harmless for the most frail woman,
weakest invalid or smallest child to use.
CHAPTER II.
''Patients
Almost dead or nearly dying
For years, and given up by physicians
of Bright's and other kidney diseases, liv-
er complaints, severe coughs called con-
sumption, have been cured.
Women gone nearly crazy!
From agony of neuralgia, nervousness,
vakefulness and various diseases peculiar
to women.
People drawn out Of shape from excrucisting
pangS of Rheumatism,
Innammatory and chronic, or suffering from
scroiulai
Erysirelas
sa I iheum, blood poisoning dyspepsia, indi-
gestion, and In fact almost all diseases irail
Nature Is heir 10
Have been cured by Hop Btters proof Of which
can be found in every neghborhood in the
known world .sl
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

When YOU visit or leave New York city,
save baggage expressage and carriage hire.
and stop at GRAND UNION HOTEL, oppo-
site Grand Central Depot; 600 elegant rooms,
fitted up at a cost of II 600, 900, reduced to
81 and upwards per day. European plan.
best. Horse cars, stages and elevated rail-
roads to depots. Families can live better
for less money at the GRAND UNION HOTEL
than at any other first-class hotel in the city.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23
You kissed me ! my head

You kissed me my head
Dropped low on your breast,
With u feeling of shelter
Aui infinite rest.
White the holy emotions
Ny tongue dare not speak
Flasn,d up in n flame
+ pm my heart TO my cheek.
Iuur arms held me fast
on. your arms were SO bold
Hrr', DCat against heart
In your passionate fold.
Nonf ances seemed drawing
Ny soul through my eyes,
As ne sun draws the mist
I om the seas To the skies.
Your lips clung to m,ne
Til prayed in my bliss
Tn, might never unclasp
From the rapturous kiss.
You kissed me- my heart
Aud my brrath ana my VIII,
In Il, riOus joy
Fora moment stood stiil.
Lite had for me then
No temptations, no charms,
n" vision of happiness
Outside Of yOnr arms.
And were ! this instant
Au angel possessed
OF the peace and the Joy
That are given the plest,
wonld ding my white robes
Tniepentingly down.
| would tear from my forehead
Its beautiful crown,
To nsstie once more
III that haven OF rest,
Yaurli sup u mine,
Ny head on your breast.
You kissed ne my soul
In a bl lsS so divine,
Recled aud swooned like drunken man
foolish with wine,
And thought 'twcre delicious
To die there II death
Would but come while my lips were
Yet moist with your breath
II my heart m ght grow cold
While your arms clasped me round
In their passionate fold
And these are the questions
] ask day and night:
Must my lips taste no more
Such exquisite delight
Would you care IL your breast
We're my shelter a. then,
And If you were here,
Would you kiss nae again?
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

A bottle of Samaritan NcrUiRo enables one
TO defy asthma, nervousness and general de-
bility.
my wife had fits for - years, - says Hen
ry Clark, of Fairfield, Mich. "Sdmdritdn
NerUiRe cured her. 'Your Druggist keeps IL.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

1t is reported on good authority, that
thousands Of our best citizens have found in
Aliens Lung Balsam safe and sure rem
edy for all Throat and Lung Affections.
Nothing gives quicker relief to cough.
Try II.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23
To Merchants and Farmers.

Send address to the Mutual Manufacturing
Co.. No. . Wabash Avenue, Chicago, and
receive by return mail circular and sam
pie of the cheapest and best barbed wire ev-
p , made
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

The city of Hamburg proposes spend
ing q hundred thousand marks (of which
the empire will give 10000 in rebuild
ing the free harbor.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

English Weslyans have expended
about S25000,000 in erecting churches
during the last twenty-five years. Their
next annual Conference will be heli in
Hull in July,
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

NrDon't wear dingy or faded things
when the tcn-ccnt Diamond Dye will make
them good as new. They are perfect and
cost but ten cents.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

In India, Ceylon and Burmah there
are over 100000 native Christians, and
of these over 100000 have been added
during the last ten years.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

There are over 4 1000 saving institutions
in Italy, and the total deposits show that
the people are saving at the rate of about
S25,OO0,000 a year. There are now on
deposit almo,t 100000 books.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

1t has been said that on founding a
colony, the first thing spariard does Is
to brild gallows, a Portuguese to build
a church, an Englishman drinking
booth, and Frenchman dancing floor.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

The Hindoos have $4,000 gods, and
think the missionaries must be bloom
ing fresh to expect them to give up that
number for one
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

FAIRFIELD, iowA.-DT. J. L. Myers
says: browns Iron Bitters j. the best iron
preparation have ever known In my thirty
years OF practice,
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

JOPLIN, Mo.-Dr. b. Morgan says: 81
find that Browns Iron Bitters gives entire
satisfaction TO all who use il. -
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

Chicken patties served at most restau-
rants are largely composed of veal and
cheap ham.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

The windows of houses in the Phillip
pine Isles are made of pellucid oyster
shells, which admit light, but cannot he
seen through.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

Rheu,atism, disordered blood, general
debility, and many chrsnic diseases pro-
nounced incurable, are often cured by
Browns Iron Bitters.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

The Spanish army consists of154000
men, of whom $4,000 are in Spain, and
the rest in the Spanish West Indies.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

Pure Cod-Liver OIL made from selected livers,
on the sea ashore by CAswELI- HAZARD d Co., New
York. II is absolutely pure and sweet. Patients
who have once taken IL prefer 1t to all others
Physicians have decided it superior TO any OF the
other oils In market.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

What Is beautiful9 Why, Carboline deodor
lied extract of petroleum, as now improved and
perfected ear as spring water, delightfully."-
perfumed and will not soil the finest linen fabric
"a perfect toilet preparation and absolutely
makes hair grow on bald heads.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

Chapped Hands, Face, Pimples, and rough
Skin, cured by using JUMPER TAR soar, made by
CAswELL. HAZARD 4 Co., New York.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

The dude is to the human race what a
bicycle is to wagon.-Whitehal Times
The bicycle isn't anything to wagon,
and would you have us to infer, dear
brother wilkins, that dude is anything
to the human race.-Harlem Times.
We would have you infer, that the dude
is to the human race, what horse chest
nut is to horse race.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23
PersoEal-.-- Men Only.

TIE voLTAIC BELT co. Marshall, Mich,
will send DIR. Dyes Celebrated Electro-V OIL
taic Belts and Electric Appliances on trial
for thirty days to men young or old who
are afflicted with nervous debility, lost vi
tality and kindred troubles, guaranteeing
speedy and complete restoration Of health
and manly vigor. Address as above. N. b.
No risk is incurred, as thirty days trial Ia
allowed.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23
THE SUN 4 WEIR WEIR.

To present all the news in readable shape and
TO tell the truth though the heavens tall. are the
two great purposes ofTHE sun. 1t is a newspa-
per for every body, friend TO everybody, barring
the rogues and frauds. subscription Rates ::
DAILY - pages) by mail, 55c. a month. or $3.50
year; SUNDAY IL pages), &1..O per year, WEEK
Ly Is pages), 81 per year. |. W. ENGLAND. Pub
Usher. New York City.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

"M0ther swans Worm ~yrup,s for fevershness
Tesllessnees. Morm.. consillaiLon. ts.teles.. 25c
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

The Army and Navy Liniment takes the sore
ness out Of SPAWN, ringbone splint or curb, and
arrests their growth. Cures collie, scratches and
other diseases. For par tculars sec advertisement
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

CROUCH On RATS" Clears out rats, mice. flies,
reaches. bed bugs. ants, vermin, chipmunks. l5c.
For an Irritated Throat, Cough, or Cold,
Brotpns Bronchial Trochcs' are offered with the
fullest confidence in their efficacy. - cts. u box
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

"BUCHU-PAIBA.. Quick. complete cure, all an.
noying Kidney and Urinary Diseases. sl.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

NOTHING Is uRlier than crooked boots, straight
eu them with Lyons Heel stihenes.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

FLIES, roaches ants, bed bugs, rats. mice crows
chpmunks, cleared out by Rough on Rats" I5c.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23
WOULD YOU KISS ME AGAIN?

ny JosEPnIsE 5. HuST.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

The last won was killed in Great Brit.
ain 200 years ago.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

MORPHINE. HABIT.
No pay till cured. Ton
years established, 1000
cured. state case. Dr.
Marsh, Quincy, Mich.
The Osceola times., 1883-06-23

t6 IN con per day al home. Samples worth Ss free.
~ w o<u Adiiress STIssoN SEQ Portland ,Maine
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1883-09-01
A. L. MGKINNEY.
Deputy Sheriff St. sandry Parish.

| hereby certify that the signature to the
above Is the genuine signature of A. E. Nc
Kinney, GUS. q. FoNTENoT,
Deputy Clerk.
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1883-09-01
VOL. XE,


Practices in Calcasieu, Cameron &nd Ell
non Parishes and in Orange and Jefferson
counties, Texas.
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1883-09-01
LOUISIANA GLEAN1NGs.

LOUISIANA GLEANINGS.
A new Catholic church at Abbcville
is soon to be built.
The spirit of improvement has
struck VermiIionville.
Every ward in St. Charles parish
has a good school house.
A malignant type of typhus fever
prevails in BienviIle parish.
The Truth says the building boom
has again struck Baton Rouge.
Plaquemine is hereafter to be light
ed at night with 36 large oil lamps.
The public schools of Terrebonno
parish will not close until Sept. %.
A movement is on foot to erect a
cotton seed oil mill at Boyce station.
The cane crop of Terrcbonne parish
will fall short Of that of last year one
third.
The hospital Of the Louisiana State
University, Baton Rouge, will soon be
completed.
The Crescent City Arthur RcpubIi-
can club, coIorci, has been organized
in New Orleans.
Mr.. Henry Dupuy has been apDoint-
ed postmaster at MarksylIe in place
Of Mr.. Ilucoman.
The Review SAYS m many sections