The semi-weekly miner., 1883-07-18
aow TO MARRY A RICH GIRL.

ROw TO MARRY A RICH GIRL,
Recipe for a Poor Young Man
| Who Wants to Pluck
Golden Apples.
New York Morning Journal.
Next to tiger hunting, there is no.
thing so exciting as making loye to a
rich girl. OF course, you are sup
posed to be poor young man, and
how to compete with his rich and &C
complished admirers is a question
that haunts you. Success will be
easy if you know how to 60 to work.
In the first place, you must get all
mercenary thoughts out of your
mind. To do this there is nothing
like early. rising and cooling diet.
Having gotten yourself into a wooing
condition, set about your task with
business-like determination.
Improve every opportunity of get
ting into the company of the million-
aires daughter, but always appear
entirely unconscious of her presence.
If you chance to find yourself near
her, go to another part of the room
and pay court to the hOmeliest and
most neglected girl in the house.
Tell your best stories and display
your choicest wit; presently you will
have a crowd of listeners who will
hang upon your words and be sway
ed BY your elOquence. The rich
young lady will hear the murmurs of
applause, and for q time remain
Oblivious to the sensation you are
making; then she will grow uneasy,
and give n0nsensical orders to the
servants. She will ask foolish ques-
tions about the weather in Scotland,
! and the fashions in Holland, and,
finally, with an ingenious air of in
different surprise, remark:
II wonder what that young man is
saying to those foolish girls?"
OF course you hear the young lady
talking, but you must affect entire
ignorance of her presence, while you
continue your eloquence. It will not
be long before the beautiful heiress
will slyly ask what you are talking
about. The reply will be entirely
unsatisfactory. Then the heiress
will invite you to sit near her. If you
are wise,. you will be brilliant, and
further excite her curiosity, by few
words, pointing witticism or two,
and speedily returning to your
friends. This will pique the rich
young lady, and her heart will burn
with anger. As soon as you discover
that she is really interested in what
you are saying, and seeks your soci-
ETY., make preparations to depart.
Go through grand flourish of leave.
taking with your neglected listeners,
keep them amused and smiling until
the very last moment, then politely
take leave of your heiress and 20
home.
This little maneuver of yours will
end her pleasure for the evening.
Precious little sleep will she get that
night. All the fine phrases and
f1owery compliments of her wealthy
suitors would be lost in the thought
OF how you slighted her.
Unlike men, women are impetuous.
They do not wait. On the very next
day the heiress will send you an in
vitation to attend a party. She will
be there and so will you. On this oc-
casion you must pay her your finest
address. Do it in a refined, delicate,
but Indifferent way. Your conduct
will again perplex the heiress, but
never mind that.
You must. now talk constantly to
her friends. Tell them that you
would like to shoot three or four of
her lovers; that if she were not rich
you would walk over ten acres of
bayonets to make loye to her. In
few days you will get an invitation
to another party. If you are wise
you will send regrets and decline to
60. Explain to her friends that you
are mady in love with her, and that
your sense of honor keeps you from
intruding upon her presence. Send
her anonymous bouquets - merely
"From a friend" on the
card. Your star now begins to rise
upon the horizon; you must go away
tor few weeks. While you are
gone write ardent but very respectful
letters to her friends from your place
of exile. On your return you will
get an invitation to call on her. You
must 60 at once, talk to her as if you
owned her, give her good advice; ex-
plain your views about self-cOntrOl,
then change the conversation until it
concerns yourself, finally hesitate,
stammer a little, blush a good deal,
and make the girl your confident.
Tell her in q warm gush of enthusi-
asm how much you love rich girl,
but that you are poor and feel that it
would be dishonorable to propose to
her. In conclusion say that you in
tend to leave the city in a week-for-
ever, never to return again. This
will make the heiress tremble. She
will ask you to name the girl. While
she catches her breath, blush again;
let your heart swell and the tears flow
from your eyes. Say with sob that
she is the girl you love, and then
rush to the door. Your sweet, beau-
tiful heiress will give one cry, fling
her arms around your neck and sob,
II love you will all my heart, take
me-" etc., while you clasp her to
pour breast and rain kisses upon her
lips. During this period of divine
ecstacy (which will seem about two
suddenly come to your
senses, tear yourself from the girl
and wildly exclaim that the sacrifice
must not be made. Say that her
friends will reproach you and justly
accuse of destroying the life of poor
girl; say that you love her toe we'll to
drag her down to poverty, cheap
laundries, etc., ETC., etc.
That night you will go home a
Caesar, with Cesar's crown upon
your brew, and in few weeks you
will be married TO a woman who
truly loves you with her whole soul.
But not until you have taken possess
,ion of noble palace on the Hudson,
with luxury and fine horses all
you will begin to realize into
what depths of contempt sordid
man can descend.
Roger, the three year old son of Mr..
and Mrs. Robert kirkpatrick, was
drowned in Rattlesnake creek, Bea-
verhead county, on last Monday at
ernoon.