The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25

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Cour inc a Rieh Girl
Next to ligcr-hun;ing there is nothing
so exciting AS max NJ love to rich
girl. OF course, you are supposed to
be poor vOnng man, and how to COM
pete with her rich aud accomplished adj
mirers is a question that haunts you.
Success will be- easy il you know how
to go to work. In the first place, you
must get all men.ena:N thoughts out OF
your mind. 70 Ito this there is nothing
like early rising and cooling diet. Hav
ing gotten yourself into Il wooing con-
dilion, set about the task with a bust
ness-like determination.
Improve every opportunity of getting
into the presence of the millionaire S
daughter, bnt always appear entirely
unconscious OF her presence. Ii you
chance to find yourself near her, go to
another part of the room, and paw court
to the homeliest and most neglected
girl in the house. Tell your best stor-
les and display your choicest wit; pres,
emily YOU will have a crowd of listeners
who will hang. upon your words and be
swayed by your eloquence. Tue rich
young lady will hear the murmurs OF
applause, and, for time, will remain
obvious of the sensation YOU are max
ing; then she win grow uneasy, and
give nonsensical orders to the servants.
She will ask foolish questions about the
weather in Scotland and the fashions in
Holland, and finally, with an ingenious
air Of Indifferent surprise, remark; ,
81 wonder what that tyoung man is
saying 10 those foolish girls. "
OF course you hear the lady talking,
but must affect more entire ignorance
of her presence, while you continue
your eloquence. 1t will not be long be-
fore the beautiful heiress will slyly ask
what you are talking about The re.
ply will be entirely unsatisfactory.
Then the heiress will invite You to sit
near her, If you are wise you will be
brilliant, and further excite her curios.
ity by few words, pointing witticisnI
or two, and speedily return to your
friends. This will pique the rich young
lady and her heart will burn with an
ger. As soon as you discover that she
is really interested in what you are say
ing, and seeks Your society, make prep,
aralions to depart Go through grand
flourish of leave-taking with your neg.
leeted listeners, keep them amused and
smiling until the last moment, then pc,
l!tely take leave of your heiress and &c
home.
This little maneuere of yours will end
her pleasure for the evening. Precious
little sleep will she get that night All
The fine phrases and tlowerv compli,
ments of her wealthy suitors will be
lost in her thought of how YOU sighted
her
Unlike men, women are impetuous.
They do not wait On the very mex
day the heiress win send YOU an invita-
tion to attend n party. She will be
there and so will You. On this occa
sion you must pay her your finest ad
dress. Do it in 4 fine, delicate but in
different way. Your conduct will AGAR
Derplex the heireSs. but never mint
that.
You must now talk constantly OF hel
to her friends. Tell them that you
would like to shoot three or four of hel
lovers; that ii SHE were not rich vol
would walk over ten acres of bavonet.
to make love TO her. In few DAYS yor
will receive an invitation to another
party. If you are wise you will senC
regrets and decline to 90. Explain tc
her friends that YOU are madly in Low,
with her, and thnt your sense of homo
keeps you from intruding upon her pres
ence. Send her anonymous bouquets
merely writing ',From friend" on tn,
card. Your star must begin to rise up
on the horizon; you must 60 away for ,
few weeks. While you are gone writ,
ardent but very respectable letters L
her friends from yeur place Of exile
On your return you viii get an invita-
ton to call on i,cr. You must 90 a
snce, talk to her as il YOU owned her
Give her good advice, explain YOU
views of self control. Then change tn,
conversation nftli II concerns Yourself
| finally hesitate, s.nmmGr u little, blusl
! good deal, and make the girl YOU
| contidam.. Tell her in IL warm gush O
enthusiasm how nnchN0u love u ricl
girl, but add that you are poor, an
feel that it would be dishonerable to
propose to her.
In conclusion say that you intend te
leave the city in week-forever, never
to return again. This will make the
heiress tremble. She will ask you 10
name the girl While she catches hen
breath, blush again, let your heart swell
and the tears flow from your eyes Say
with sob, that she is the one YOU love,
and then rush for the door. Your sweet,
beautiful heiress will give one. cry, tling
her arms around Your neck and sob, Il
love you with all my heart; take me, v
etc, while you clasp her to your breast
and rain kisses upon her lips. During
this period of divine ecstasy (which will
seem about two ccnturies) Suddenly re-
turn to your senses, tear yourself from
the girl, and wildly exclaim that the
sacrifice must not be. Say that her
friends will reproach you and justly ae-
cuse You OF destroying the lie of poor
girl; say that you love her too well to
drag her down TO poverty, cheap laun.
dries, etc.
That night you will go home Caesar
with C9sar's crown upon your brow,
and in q few weeks You will be married
TO woman who truly loves with her
whole soul. But not until you have
taken possession of a noble palace on
the Hudson, with luxury and fine horses
all around YOU, viii. you begin TO real
ize into what depths OF contempt a sor-
did man can descend.