News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-08-23

style, and found it to be terror In
vestigation showed that the magazine
was of 1S47.-BO8tOn Post
NOT DIFFICULT TO SATISFY HIM.
"Now you see if was rich I wouldn'
slave myself at work this hot weather,
said Job Shuttle, reffectively.
"Ah, yes, you would" exclaimed
Patience, with a smile. ''You always
would work. [ should like to know
when you would call yourself rich enough
to stop work o.
''Well, Patience, my dear, if I was
rich enough to keep a coupon cutter
running by steam I would take it easy
for a fortnight, right in the heat of the
weather. ."-HarGord Post.
THE ADVANTAGE.
''You have the advantage of me, " said
the cashier, blandly. "You will have to
get some one to identify you"
- identify me? Why, I am your son,
just back from college for the summer
vacation.
"May be, may be-" answered the
cashier, "but my son did not look like a
fool, wear a cockney hat, monkey tail
coat, skin-tight breeches, tooth pick
shoes, nor did he suck cane handles.
When my wife returns from Europe, in
September you might present your
claims to her, and if she decides that
you are our offspring [ shall be happy to
bid you an affectionate good-by on your
return to college. In the meantime [
would suggest that you earn your living
hiring yourself ont for a tailor sign.
Good-day, sir. -PhiIGdelphiu Ne3C8.
A GOOD BUSINESS.
The late Mayo Watkins of Virginia,
was somewhat noted for his quaint wit.
On one occasion pompous young man,
with very high notions of his own i'm
portance, consulted him in regard to
choosing a vocation for life. He said:
''DIr. Watkins. as you have been a very
successful man, I am sure you are capa-
ble of giving excellent advice to young
man just starting in life. What busi-
ness would you advise me to engage in ?"
"Shoemaking, was the sententious
reply.
The young man gazed at him in blank
amazement for several seconds, but see
ing that he was apparently in deep ear
nest, he inquired his reason for recon-
mending such a humble occupation.
Without cracking smile Mr. Wat
Ilins replied: "Shoemaking is a good
business, a very good business, and it
will always remain a good business as
long as babies are born barefooted. =
Harper'8 "Drao0eT."
HE WAS THERE.
''Was [ in de wah, Boss J.? Just listen
at dat; was 1 in de wah? Why, I seed
avery battle dat was fit, and knOwd Lee
and Stonewall Jackson and Jeff Davis
and all dem lis as we'll as I does dat mig
ger YOU see in dar shinin' shoes. Gene
raj Lee particlller, he thought great
deal of me. aud when I'd ak him to give
me a I'tLIu'ss2lA H. -I~'.~
"sBob, I can't spare you. I'm agwine
to fight dat battle whar I talked to You
about, and I'm bound to have you by
me. But, however, if you'll be back in
four days certain sure, you can CO.
'Sure 'nough I'd be comm back into
camp whistlin' at night, and Lee he'd
say to StonewelI jackson:
"Dere's Bob comm back now; I
know him by his whistle. It's all right
now; we can go ahead. ''-Richn1ond
State.
WHAT TO GIVE HIM.
It is said that the postmaster of New
York keeps a file Of all the foolish letters
he receives. If the newspapers through
out the country were to act in like man.
ner, special store-room would be neces-
sary. 1t seems that when the foolishly
inclined man has nothing else to do, he
writes a silly letter to an editor. The
other day the editor of this paper re-
ceived the following from a Tennessee
postmaster: ''There's sick man in this
town who claims to be from Arkansaw.
What shall we 10 with him as he Is
without means ?" There was but one
natural reply: "Give him medicine p