Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-01-11
. PITH AND POINT.

-"Patrick, were you q minor when
you landed in American asked the
naturalization officer. mo, your honor
was a bricklayer.'' =
The number of domestic patents
issued in one week. recently was $40,
and yet it is patent to all that the do
nestle is no better than she ever was.
Ordinary ssstars" on the theatrical
stage are not out OF place, but ssshoot-
ing stars'' should be suppressed. We
couldn't re-Frayne from making this
remark. "-NorristoaO Herald. - go
b. 1t is impossible for two railroad
trains to pass each other on single
monstrated of late, it is strange that the
fact has not been accepted as proved
Boston Transcript. > : 80 '... %.
"A politician is always disinterested
in seeking to serve his country. As no.
body knows what the country needs so
we'll as himself, he naturally wishes to
place himself where his knowledge can
be availed Of Dyhis country. sssg@
"-"Daniel Webster never wrote but
one poem" When he offered that to
a newspaper editor for publication,
there was such a murderous glare in the
latter's eyes, that the statesmen went
down stairs four steps at a time and
made vow never again to court the
poetic muse. Some poets are less SEN
sitive.-Burlington HaUkeye. rs,t
f'--'sWhat's your occupationP'' asked
Judge of a 2s'drunk'' that came up for
inspection, in the morning. sI'm a
calker, sir,'' was the reply. "a calker!"
exclaimed the Judge, sswhat AN inapti-
tude of language; should say you were
an uncorker. Give him sixty days"
''That's scorker,' surely,' was the
victims retort.-R0n1e Sentinel.
-s'And what age is it you are now,
dear?" asked the colonel just back from
India of the tall daughter of his friend,
Tomkinson Smith. ''Well, that is what
/ can't quite make OUT" returned the
girl, taking care not to meet her moth
er's eye, ''for when 60 anywhere with
papa am sixteen, but when l go out
with mamma L am never more than
twelve next birthday" The colonel
fastened to change the subject.-Lon-
don ktgGro.sgi f r&<IfA k<tI j.
when Cousin Mary was three years
old she attended church for the first
time with her aunt. During the SER
mon she heard the minister mention the
name of God several times, and acted IS
if, she knew he was doing something
wrong. AT last she could stand itlno
longer; the next. time he said it, she
rosesup in her seat, and pointing her
chubby finger at him, she said IN i'm
pressive tones: "Man, top your swear
ing. ''-Erchaage. assag .E.s&z<S;s *@~s ~
=" Speaking of owing men and feel
ing unpleasant whenever you meet
them,u" said. Colonel Mickie, Cuttings up
rather pleasant remembrance of a
man to whom was indebted. There
were numerous men in Little Rock who
had financial claims ON me, and when
ever I met them I could not help but
feel sort of SILVER creepsoEer me, but
there was one man whom l liked to
meet xssDidn't> bring up any unpleas-
ant memory, en-" said Paxton, who
owes nearly every man in town. 'sNo,
SIR" s'Didn't shudder when you met
him on the stree? '' "No. I'd walk
past him as though owned the street."
sssI suppose you knew, then. that he did
not need the money" s'No, sir, for L
was well aware that he did need it.'''
ssWell, what was the cause?" "He was
blind. "-ArEGnscW TrareIer. .s-.s-,.