Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-07-17
BRIGHT BITS.

THEY SAY sstruth crushed to earth VIII
rise again. which shows the muscularity
of truth in view Of what's jumping on It,.
A REUNION of the nurses of George
Washington win be held at Mount YER
non, October l. 1t will be an outdoor
meeting.
SOMEBODY has invented a new Their
mometer; but there are days when II
won't stay below 100. so where's it any
better than the old styleE
UPIN CULTURED and modest Boston
they do not can the g-rt-r snake by its
familiar name. but. with modest blush,
whisper, 'sthe limb-encirculer ophidian."
WE SUPPOSE there is in this world the
man who goes to a summer resort and
doesn't have to take room near the roof
and on the hot side of the house, but we
never have heard Of him.
A SAN FRANCISCO preacher advertised
that he wonld discuss a family scandal
OF the following Sunday morning. As
consequence the church was crowded.
The subject was Adam and Eve.
LEADyILLE CLERGYNlEN are becoming
very particular. One Of 'em got mad at
funeral where he was to 0fficiate, because
the master of ceremonies notified him to
begin by remarking: Snow, old boss, it's
your play"
RURAL SCENERY: Gent from city-"But
where the dence Is the scenery? What in
thunder is there to look at?' Farmer { in
dignantly )-"Why. the new barn. What
more do you want for s. a week? It's
perfect beauty"
A Los ANGELES RANCHER has raised
pumpkin so large that his two children
use d half each for cradle. This may
seem very wonderful in the rural districts,
but in this city three or four full-grown
a
single beat.-Sdn Francisco Post.
AN ARTISTIC SUCCESS: Mr.. Higgins
ssMy son Samuel studied art in Paris for
six years." Mr.. Raphael d'Umber-"And
did he succeed?' Mr.. Higgins-'.Succeed!
Well / guess he did succeed. Why, sir,
he now has the largest bone fertilizer fac
tory in the State OF Ohio. / call that sue
cess"
A LITTLE BOY and girl out in the west
end of town were discussing the stars.
The little boy said they were worlds like
ours and have people on them. The little
girl, with all the disdain she could mus
ter, said: sThey are not; they are angels
eyes, cause | saw them wink o'-Des
.HOines Leader.
THE SOCIETY OF FRIENDS in England
has repealed the prohibition of marriage
between first cousins, which has been in
force in that body for nearly 200 years.
The Friends have certainly been long
time in finding out that first cousins
have the same right TO make war that
other persons have.
YES" said the old time Texan, ''ciyli-
cation is making sad inroads upon order
and decency in this State. We used to
lynch men quietly, neatly and success
fully, but in these days of legal hangings
they botch the whole business, have to
hang a man over two or three times and
regularly torture him to death. We never
botched lynching."
A YOUNG MAN wrote to a Cincinnati
paper in regard to faro banks, and re-
ceived an answer to the effect that faro
bank is place where weeks wages can
be lost in five minutes, and six months
salary spent in trying to get it back. The
readiness Of the reply reveals the fact
that the editor knew what he was talking
abOut.-Nel1 York Commercial Advertiser.
A WORN OUT, seedy-looking Western
farmer was talking about the homestead
law, when some one said to him that it
was great thing to get 100 acres of land
Just for living on it. There's just where
you're off, said he. 1.-The government
| gets a man there, and then bets quarter
section agin nOthin' that he'll starve to
death if he tries to live there five years.
And Uncle Sam wins nine times in ten"
| THE BURLEsQUE of "Eyangelne'' did
not succeed in London. The English
critics said the play lacked continuity of
plot, denounced the situations as improba-
| bic, and pitched into the ''lone fisherman"
for coming on the stage in such a cOndi-
ton that he did not know what scenes he
belonged in, and could not speak a line
anyhow. They thought he was drunk.
You've got to get an Englishman down
| and pound his head with an axe to make
him think you're funny.