davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
mothersl Motners Mothers

MOCh6FBI IuOthOr8II MOGn0r6W
Arc yoa disturbed at night and broken OF
your rest by a sick child suffering and crying
with excruciating pain of cutting toeth? II
80, go at once and got bottle of MRS. WIN.
SLOWS SOOTHING SYRUP 1t will relieve
the poor little sufferer neutrality-suspicious.
upon It; there is no mistake about IL. There
is not a mother on earth VINO has ever used It,
who will not tell you at once that 1t will regu.
late the bowels, and give rest to the mother
and relief and health to tho child, operating
like magic. 1t is perfectly safe to use in all
cases, and pleasant to the taste, and is the
prescription OF one OF the Oldest and best
female physicians and nurses in the United
States. Sold everywhere. 25 cents bottle.
m2-ly-M. .W&S&w
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
Ohildren's Home.

The managers of the Home gratefully ac-
knowledge the following donations: Two
copies Of the Pcnnsyluaaia School journal );
L. FonDersmith. books aud toys Mrs. Buch
miller, l pair scissors; Mr.. j. Fred Sencr,
oranges.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
N EDICAL.
HAY-FEVER.
Ely's Cream Balm

E6ectually cleanses
the nasal passages of
Catarrhal virus, caus-
ing healthy secre-
tiODs, allays inf1am-
nation, protects the
membrane from ad-
ditional colds, com.
pletely heals the
sores and restores
the sense of taste and
smell. Beneficial re.
suits are realized by
q few applicatiOns-A A
thorough treatment
will cure Catarrh,
Hay Fever, &c. Un-
eq ualed for colds in
the head. Agreeable
to use. Apply by the
little finger into the
nostrils. On receipt
of so cts. will mail q
package. Sold by H.
b. Cochran,D Druggist
137 h 139N 0rth Queen
street, Lancaster, Pa
CO., Oswego, N. Y.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
Returned the B,,l.

ALBANY, N. Y, March 2.-The govern.
or has returned to the Assembly the bill
reducing the fare on the elevated roads.
with q message giving his reasons there
for.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

l.. P. Follett, Marion, o. states that he has
used Thomas kcfectrtc OIL tor burns, and mas
found nothing to equal 1t in soothing the pain
and giving relief. For sale by H. b. Coch-
ran, druggist. l37 and 139 North Queen street.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

AsOS - 0901GA1s ~
tseems strange that any one VIII ssxlDbH
nom the many deraAgements brought on By
An impure condition of the blood, when SEQ.
Wills SSARSAFARlLLAAN ANDSTIL
or BLOOD AND LIVER sYkUP win restore
perfect health to the physical organization. Il
is indeed q Strengthening syrup. pleasant 70
take, and has proven itself to be the best
BLOOD PUBlFIER ever discovered, effect
ually curing scrofula, Syphlitic disorders,
Weakness OF the Kidneys, Erysipelas, Nala-
ria; all nervous disorders and debility, bill.
ious complaints and ali diseases indicating an
impure condition of the Blood, Liver, Kid
neys. Stomach, Skin, etc. It corEects intli
gestiOn. A single bottle will prove to you fts
merits as a health renewer, tor It ACTS LIKE
A CHARM, especially when the complaint is
OF an exhaustive nature having tendency to
lessen the natural vigor of the brain and ner
vous system.
1AER's PAIN PANACEA cures pain in
man anu beast. For use externally and inter.
nally.
RED HORSE POWDERS cure all diseases
of horse, cattle, sheep, hogs, poultry and all
Live Stock. A APOSITIvECURE. mayN-9
For sale at H. B. Cochran's. drug store ls7
North Queen street.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

VIII try and preserve her charms. She may
lack classic outline of form, but she should
use SOZODONT, and retain the beauty and
usefulness OF her teeth. A fine set OF teeth Is
one Of the highest charms SOZODONT will
do this work. f27.lwdeod&w
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
HPEClAL NOTICES.

A rather cynical lady, somewhat of flir
says most men, like colds. are very easily
caught but difncult to get rid OF. Her mis-
take is apparent. DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup will
cure any cold however stubborn It may be.
Price 25 cents.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

For q cough or sore throat, the best medi-
cine is Hale's Honey of Horehound anu Tar.
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in one minute.
ml-lwdeod&w
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

AS The wonders of modern chemistry are
apparent in the beautiful Diamond Dyes. All
kinds and cOlors of Ink can be made from
them.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

-BY The

-BY THE
YOUNG FOLKS OF LANCAsTER.
Consisting OF Music, Dialogues, REGULATIONS.
Tableaux, 10, to be held in FULTON HALL.
SATURDAY EVE MING. MARCH ., 1888.
Admission, g and 3 cents. No extra charge
having purchased tickets can have them re-
served on and after March 1. tebe6 3t
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

Nervous and fdgety people should read the
advertisement of Simmons Liver Regulator,
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
WEATHER INDICATIONS.

WEATHER INDICATIONS,
WASHINGTON, March 2-For the Middle
Atlantic states, light local rains, followed
by partly cloudy slightly cooler weather,
northwest to southwest winds and higher
barometer.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
Trough on Rata
Clears out rats, mice, reaches, flies. ants, bed
bugs, skun1s, chipmunks, gophers. 15c. Drug

Go 10 H. =. Cocnran's drug store for Mrs.
Freemdn's NeW National Dyes. For bright
ness and durability of color. are uneQua1ed.
Color from to pounds. Directions in Eng
lish and German. Price. Is cents.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
TUsr 9ECEIvED A This OFFICE
ANOTHER FINE LOT OF
Fancy Business and Advertising Cards.
THE LATEST DESIGNS OUT.
Call 1T the INTELLiGENCERO OFFICE and
zee samples. it'd

TCOR RENT. - n LAkHE TWO-STORY
II Brick House. No. l3l North Duke st.
two story Brick Warehouse on Miff1in
street, between South Queen and Prince
streets.
street.
A iargetwo story Brick House, No. Ii. North
Duke street.
A. j. STEINMAN,
i30-tfd INTKLLIGENCER Of1ce
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

New York, Philadelphia and Local Stocss
also United States Bonds reported daily by
JACOB B. Lone, ~ North Queen street.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

DYspErTIC, nervous people, tout OF sorts, D
Colden's Liquid Beet Tonic will cure. Ask
for Colden's. OF Druggists. ml-lwdeod&w
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

ESTATE OF LANOELIN I'm m ELSBACH
IL of the City of Lancaster. dec'd.-Letters
on said estate having been
granted to the undersigned, all persons in
debted thereto are requested TO make imme-
dfate payment, and those having claims or
demands against the same, will present them
without delay for settlement to the under
signed, residing in the City of Lancaster. :.
CHAS. HIMMELSBACH,
JOHN q. .HIMMELSBACH,
JNO. A. COYLR, Executors.
Attorney. jl6-6tdTu
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
A Cough, Gold or Sore Throat

"Dr. Benson's Celery and ChamonaiLe Pills
cured my ,cife immediately of severe neuralgia"
H. n. CocktiD. Shepherdtown, Va. soc. at
druggists. feb2Slwd&w
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

j. p. Zimmerman, Spruce Greek, Pa, says
81 have thoroughly tested Browns Iron Bit
tiers and consider 1t equal to any emergency"
For sale by II. B. Cochran, druggist, l37 and
I39 North Queen street f2e-lwd&w
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

ESTATE OF FREDERICK HIELMAN
~ late of the city Of Lancaster, deceased
Letters OF administration on said estate hav-
ing been granted to the undersigned, all per-
sons indebted to said decedeDt are requested
TO make immediate settlement, and those hav-
ing claims or demands against the estate OF
said decedent to make known the same to the
Undersigned without delay, residing in the
city OF Lancaster.
MAGDALENA OTTENDORFER,
AGministratrix.
B. +. DAVIS, Attorney. fl4-Gtdoaw
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

LrSTATE OF THOMAS Il. cox, NJ. d.,
~ late OF Lancaster city, Pa. deceased
Letters OF administration on said estate hav.
ing been granted to the undersigned, all per-
sons indebted thereto are requested to make
immediate payment, and those having claims
or demands against the same. will present
them without delay for settlement to the un-
dersigned, residing in Lancaster city.
JOHN Q. MERCER,
JACOB GABLE,
Administrators.
W. A. WILSON,
CHAS. A. Lands,
Attorneys jll-6tdTh
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
COLLEGE.

ESTATE OF B. FRANK TANIANY, LATE
II of Lancaster city, Pa deceased.-Letters
Of administration on said estate having been
granted to the undersigned. all persons in
debted thereto are requested to make imme-
diate settlement, and those having elaine or
demands against rho came, will present them
without delay TOR settlement to the under
signed, residing in said city.
WILLIAM WEAVER,
i26-8tdF Administrator.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
LEGAL NOTICES.

sSIGNED ES FATE OF WILLIAM, HEM
IA sci and wife, OfLancaster city, Lancaster
county. VIM. Hensel and wife OF Lancaster
city, having by deed Of voluntary assign
ment, dated January q, 1888. assigned and
transferred all their estate and effects to the
undersle ned, for the benefit of the creditors
OF said William Hensel, he therefore gives NO.
tice to all persons indebted to said assignOr
to make payment to the undersigned without
delay, and those having claims to present
them to J.FREPK SENER,
Assignee.
EUGENE u. SMITH. Atty. i3Q-6tdeOw
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

Tld kSits.
Samples tree at Grocers. II. A. BAKTLErT 4
Co., Makers, Philadelphia. tl2!26td&4tw
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

A SSIGNED ESTATE OF GEORGE q.
IA Hensel and wife, of Lancaster city, Lam
caster county, Pa. George o. Hensel and wife,
OF said Lancaster city, having by deed of vol.
untary assignment, dated JANUARY -, A. d.
1883, assigned and transferred all their real
estate and effects to the undersigned, Tor the
benefit of the creditors OF the said George O.
Hensel, he therefore gives notice to all per-
sons indebted to said assignor, to make pay
ment to the undersigned without delay and
those having claims to present them to
CHAS. 1. LANDIS, Assignee,
Residing In Lancaster City.
l.. ELLMAKER, Atty, ianl5- 6ldOaw
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
A, II. SUPPLEE,
STEVE j. OWENS.

The business formerly carried on by the
aOove firm. will be continued Mt the old stand
by Steve J. Owens, where he will be pleased
to meet the patrons OF the former firm as well
STEVE j. OWENS.
MARCH 2 1888. mar2-3t<
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

DUAHlDINas-TWO PLEABANr UOMMUN-
ID icating Rooms 10 let to adults with
board. Apply 1t 80 North Duke street, Lam
caster. feb9IWd&
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
Skin Diseases.

"Swayne's Ointment" Cures the most invet-
"Swayne's Ointment"}
"Swayne's DIN tment' crate cases of skin dis
''swayne's Ointment"l
"Swayne's Ointment" eases, such as tetter,
'sSwayne's Ointment ,. ,r.... ,s.s
"Swayne's Ointment" S"i0 i'eo1i" Ho~"'
''Swayne's Ointment" baber's itch, sores, all
..Swsyyme,s S;ntmentn 5crusty, scaly, itching,
"swayne's ointment skin eruptions, and
"Swayne's Ointment" ,..+ .,,s.r,,,;,.. <,,,,
"Swayne's Ointment" ! 0"O ~ oS0Ans oonA'
"Swayne's Ointment" plant, itching piles,
''Swayne's Ointment" ,,,. ,,,,, o<,.,.,,,, .,,,.
"Swayne's Ointment" LILO ohAy oneS'"al cufo
"Swayne's Ointment no matter how Obsti.
"Swayne's Ointment" nate or long standing.
Ask for 1t and use no other. It CURES
where all else fails. Sold by all druggists,
"A Cough, Gold or Sore Throat
Requires immediate attention. A neglect ir-
ritates the lungs and an incurable disease Is
often the result. "DR. SWAYNE'S CON-
POUND SYRUP WILD CHERRY cures the
most severe coughs and colds, actsdirectly on
the lungs. throat and chest. purifies the blood,
and for bronchial, asthma. all pulmonary at
fections OF long standing, 1t is the bestremedy
ever discovered. Price 25 cents and 81 per
bottle. The large size IL the most economical
Sold by all best druggists. tlaMW&Flyd&w
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

LNSTATE OF JOHN r. DOSTMAN, LATE
lI OF Lancaster City, deceased-Letters OF ad-
granted to the undersigned. all persons in
dehted to said decedent are requested to make
immediate settlement, and those having
claims Or demands against the estate OF said
Gecedent, to make known the same to the un.
dersigned without delay. residing in Lancas.
ter City. HENRY WOLF,
feb24-6tdOaw Administrator,
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
OIssOLUTlON NOTICE.

The partnership heretofore existing under
thetitle OF Supplee Il owens, At NO. s Centre
Square. Lancas,eSl has this h day been dissolved
having claims against the firm. will please
settle with Steve j. Owens ut the old stand.
Immediately.
AB SUPPLEE
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
"A Wise swOman

Has permanent value soc advertisement
Of Simmons Liver Regulator.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
asrain and Proy,slon Uuotatiors.
Mar. 2.

One O'Clock quotations OF grain and prov 1.
ions, furnished by 8. X. Yundt, Broker, Il
East King street.
Chicago. Mar, g,
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
MARRLAGEN.

MARRLAGES.
PATTIsoN-CoaLKY.-Marc l. 1853, at the resi-
dence of the bride, No. l9 East walnut street,
by Rev. j. A. Peters, Mr.. James w. Pattison,
of Broukville, Jefferson county, Pa, to Miss
Florence Cogiey, OF Lancaster.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
HAY FEVER.

Ell I . ChEAM BALM
aug15 cod, ,eOwd&eOww
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

A TTENTION, s: OF v.-OAMP 10, SONS
n OF Veterans, will drill THIS FRI
DAY) EVENING at ~ O'Clock. In Roberts
1t THE CAMP.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

In the House bills were passed to print
10000 extra copies of Smull's handbooks,
and to ascertain what retrenchment could
be made in public printing. The bill to
abolish the recordership OF Philadelphia
was also passed.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02
nUBLIC SALE OF DESIRABLE CITy
PROPERTY=On SATURDAY. MARCE

feb27,m3,6,Sd
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-02

IMPORTANT NOTICE.
i meeting of the Journeymen TailOrs of
Lancaster will be held at JOS. DOrsh's Saloon,
No. lis North Queen street. on SATURDAY
EVENING at o'clock. Business OF vital i'm
portanca to the trade. By order of the COM
mitt0e of r
it, TRADES ASSEM- MBLY.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25
Rat-Killing.

"rve killed over q quarter of mill
ion of rats during the past thirty years, "
said old John Gregory, or "English
Jack" as he is familiarly termed by
the residents of Camden, in reply to a
question propounded to him the other
day about his peculiar business. The
noted rat-killer is little, well-built
man, iifty-threc years of age. He lives
alone at No. 4l6 Henry street. His
only companions are his ferrcts, dogs
and white rats, to which he is greatly
attached. pickle" and Jack" his
canine companions, are two fine blood
cd Scotch terriers. When not at work
they live in kennel in the kitchen.
Their master values them at five hun
dred dollars. For thirteen years they
have been actively engaged in aiding
English Jack" to make a living by ex-
terminating the rodents, and Gregory
aptly says: "Thcy have chewed up more
rats than any other dogs in the world.
Cages containing ferrets and white
rats occupy the rooms on the second
story. There are only fifteen of the
former just now, thirty-five having di ed
during the past nine months. These
animals look something like rats, rang
ing in length from six to fourteen inch
es. They have smooth coat of fur OF
u brown and white color. The white
rats were bred from pair imported
from Albino. Turkey, are quite tame,
and, like the fcrrcts, have red eyes,
They are kept in a room apart from the
ferrets.
After his visitor had been shown
through the house, English Jack" told
how he came to take up the disagreca-
Bile business: "When lad, living a,
Nottingham. Eng, / made the acquaint
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25
Turned His Head.

The oft-repeated maxim that actions
speak louder than words has been ex-
empliiied i'm pathetic manner recently
i'm this city. A very few years ago there
lived here young couple who to all ap-
pearances were devoted to each other.
At least the husband was extremely
fond of his young and attractive wife,
and surrounded her with everything
that could make reasonable woman
happy. She was fond of music and the
drama, and i'm an evil hour he encour-
aged her to take lessons for the amateur
stage and fill local engagements. 1t
was the beginning of an ambitious de-
sire for public life, and it ended in her
making n secret resolve to 90 out into
the world and earn her own living as
an actress. One morning she pinned q
rose i'm his button-hole when he went
away to his business and kissed him
goodbye rs was her wont, and wlhcn he
went home at night she was
gone He has never seen her
since; he expended great deal
of money in following her from
place to place. rs he supposed, but
il always proved to be some one else.
Once he bribed waiter at hotel to
let him glance through door as tray
was carried into guests room, but
the sick lady was not his wife. She had
disappeared as completely as If the
earth had swallowed her. The husband
made no threats of what he would do If
he ever found her, but his friends be-
lieve he would kill the woman whose
only fault is her unwillingncss to live
with him-ambition being her only other
love. A few days since friend met
him on the streets here, but at first he
hardly recognized him, then he asked:
Have you never found here"
"No, and never expect to-"
"Have you given up looking for herp"
"No, and never will"
"Havc you been illP You seem
changed"
For answer the other man lifted his
hat. Two years ago his hair was dark,
rich brown. As he stood there with his
head uncovered il was as white as snow.
Detroit Post and Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

Tho Public has an interesting ar
ticle on the population of the United
States, in which IL Is maintained that
the country has now 5i,sOO, 900 in
habitants. The number is about AGO.
600 greater than was reported by the
census for June 80, 1880, and warrants
the prediction Of 55,000,00O by July l
next.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

The high school girl explained to
her particular friend, yesterday, that
"He kicked the bucket" was slang,
and that the polite expression was
He propelled his pedal extremities
with violence against a familiar uten-
sill used for the transportation of
water and other fluids. oil City
Derrick,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

James" Eyes, pa" "There were
seven California pears in that cup
board. Six of them are gone. Do
you know anything about it?' 81
never took one of them" "Sure p
Certain, pa. Wish / may die, if"
"You wicked, bad boy; how often
have | told you never to use such an
expression. Here comes ma (; let us
sec if she knows anything about it. )"
Mamma says she saw James take at
least five of them. "You little ras-
cal. How dare you tell me you never
took one, and here's only this little
one with the grub eaten side left p
"Oh, pa, don't hit me. | said | didn'i
take one of them-and-and-and
that's the one / didn't take" Pa re-
ented.-Louisville Argus.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

A cucumber five feet long is exhi-
bited at New Orleans. 1t isn't size
that counts in a cucumber, however.
A little, stubby fellow, three by two
inches, has proven enough to expand
an ordinary sized stomach to an acher.
Pittsburgh Telegraph.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

When the editor proposed and was
accepted, he said to his sweetheart
81 would be glad if you would give
me kiss y then, observing her blush,
he added, "not necessarily for publ
cation, but as guarantee of good
faith" She could not resist that
Somerville journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

A celebrated physician advises
plenty of sleep as means of increas-
ing physical strength. Perhaps he is
right, for vegetarian informs us that
the strength of an onion increases the
longer it remains in its bed.-Somer-
Vile Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

The quantity of beer produced in
the United States last year averaged
more than fourteen gallons for every
inhabitant of the country. Some
body has played wretched mean
trick on us then.-Burlington Free
Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

"Why don't that engine starty'
"On account of Il defunct dog. y
"How can dog stop t?" 81 don't
know, only the engineer said it was
on dead center. Chicago Cheek.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

"And the gentleman who catches
the ball" said Anabel "why does he
wear mask p And Anabel looked
upon her cousin Ned's face with be-
coming pride when he promptly an
swered: THAT is to protect his face,
Bel an ugly mug wouldn't harmon
ize with a nice pitcher, you know. -
Boston Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

Mrs. Homespun, who has terrible
time every morning to get her young
brood out of their beds, says she can
not understand why children arc call,
ed the rising generation--Boston
Transcript
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

"Did the child die under suspicious
circumstances ?" asked the coroner OF
a witness. mo, sir, it did not. II
died under the back porch. Pitts
burgh Telegraph.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

An enthusiastic country exchange
remarks: "The hills and valleys are
carpeted with the verdant growing
crops" A neat idea. The carpet
strictly speaking, is of the ingram
variety.-Pittsburgh Telegraph.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

"The difference" said Twistem, a
he thumped his glass on the bar, "be
tween this glass and locust, is sim
ply that ones beer mug and the
others a mere bug."-Pittsburgh Tel
epraph.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

81 have a bright prospect before
me-" said the loafer. "You always
will have" remarked Fogg; Il don't
think you will ever catch up to it,
Boston Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

A little singular that passengers are
not permitted to converse with the
man at the wheel, Notwithstanding he
is spokesman of the ship.-Boston
Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

What is meant by Sabbath
days Journey" John.-The distance
between any place and the nearest
good fishing ground.--Burlington
Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-07-25

Seeing a carriage full of bellies and
bcaux drive by, Aminadab remarked
that that reminded him Of a load Of
wooed. Marathon Independent.