Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1883-09-28

q VOL. XII.
The weather at 9:se Last Night.
Bismarck Cloudy; thermometer. %
Assinaboine.- Clear; g Is
st. Paul-Cloudy; As
NEWS COMMENTS.
ZoIA drinks brandy and water.
JOHN BRIGHT has not touched spirits in ten
years. -. #&...
A FASHION writer says that brown-eyed ladies
look best in gray satin.
HANNIBAL HAMLN will present his native
town in Maine with clock.
II Sergeant Bates could only be induced to
to fun his flag up the North pole!
Don CAMERoN's 8 son is freshman at Harvard.
It runs in the family to be frezh.
Ex- POSTMASTER General Creswell will be in
Washington during this winter.
FIRST discoverers of the new comet are re-
porting at the rate of ten day.
THE banjo is fast supplanting the piano as the
popular parlor instrument.
The south is fast advancing in the fine arts
Memphis has chewing gum factory.
DULUTH Tribune: September 25th! Duluth
i is still here. but where the ID is Willard?
/ NEBRASKA has town called Baseball, but
this should not awaken undue animosity against
the state.
IT cost the state of Missouri $4,000 to con-
vince the jury that Frank James is respectable
citizen.
The Grand FL rks News calls 'Col." Pat Donan
4 the "wild and rearing literary blizzard of the
& North.''
HowEL1s and Mark Twain have coupled their
# brains together, and will write book on Ameri-
4 can humor. "
!. Ex-M1N1sTER ScHENCK is at West Point and
I it is vaguely hinted that poker chair is to be
established in thu academy.
BISHOP, whom Butler beat last year for gov
ernor, has been fined $15 for keeping un-
licensed dog.
De. GRANT, the physician of Princess Louise
s will be Anighted soon. It is a great thing to
prepare pills for royalty.
18 CARTER HARRIsoN's Indian name is "Iron
@ Cheek Those untutored red citizens make
F some mighty neat hits at times. ..
s PRESIDENT ARTHUR and one of Gen. Grants
81 Arabian stations will be honored visitors at the
New York ho1se show next month.
UTAH farmers are drying great quantities of
apples this year. The Mormons are determined
to swell the population by some means.
But very few army officers are now at their
posts of duty. The majority of them are serv-
ing on court ma1tials with stolid dignity.
WAHpEToN Tines: "The st. Paul Dispatch
had a long interview with John Mccullough,
and about all he said was damn this weather."
The difference between a besotted man and
pig is slight one at best. Ones hunting
grog, and the others a grunting hog.-Pitts-
burg Telegraph.
Boston Herald: One thousand parrots have
been landed at New York. Are they to be taught
to say "the republican party must CO." and thus
supersede the democratic press.
New JERSEY has not had republican gov
ernor since 1865, but ths people seem to revel
in the delights of pumpkin pie in an average
happy and contented frame of mind.
SOME one suggests that Mr.. Tilden be sent to
: the relief of the Greely expedition. His robust
health eminently fits him for the rigors and pri-
yations of life in the Arctic climate
ST. PAUL Dispatch: "Will somebody spell ac-
curately the capital Of Dakota since the court
mixed things?" Certainly. Anything to oblige.
It runs something like this: B-i-s.m-a-r c-k.
AN Iowa editor holds himself personally re-
sponsible for all that appears in the paper. This
will excite no surprise when coupled with the
fact that he is the champion long distance run
ner of tue state. 8, ., ,...~
TOLEDO has young man who can play on two
comets at the same time, and the people in his
locality are fast adopting the belief that We
receive punishment for our sins here on earth
and that they are great sinners.
A San FRANCISCO old woman, who had failed
in an attempt to write on postal card az long
. letter as she intended to, presented the spoiled
card at the postofhce to be exchanged for clean
one, and when the clerk refused, she scratched
his face and bit his finger.
PROVIDENCE watches over her children with
aolicitous care A Minnesota editsr's only shirt
was stolen from the line Monday night, but
Tuesday morning man came in and paid IS
4 oents on subscription, and the fortuate scribe
wss enabled to purchase new one.