Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-11-14
The Hotel Yanker.

''That s the fourth case of booze I've
handled tonight, and it's only two
O'Clock: the boys must be havin' times
and no mistake" were the somewhat
mysterious words of a strapping big
watchman as he strolled up to and
leaned against the office counter of one
of the principal hotels Of this city last
night and helped himself to couple Of
toothpIcks. The remark was addressed
to the night clerk of the house, who
was sitting with his feet up, reading q
newspaper, and was overheard by 3
reporter engaged in glanclng over the
register.
What do you mean; what's the
row?" asked the scribe, the naughty
autOcrat enshrined behind the counter
not having deigned to make any reply
or even glance up from the article he
was reading.
"What do mean? Why, 1 mean
I've run four drunken men up to bed
this blessed night, and devil of a row
a couple of 'em made about it, too"
care four in one night more than
your usual share of such prizes?"
"Well, yes Sir, it is; although I've
seen the nights when I've had seven ol
eight fellers, all as tight as drums, to
put to bed. Oh, the night watchmar
of hotel amt got no soft snap, and
don't you forget it,"
''Do they give you much trouble as a
rule?''
''Some does, and some doesn't; but
most of 'em is easy enough to manage
| if you know how to work 'em. You
see" he continued, seating himself on
the counter and taking another tooth,
pick, there are different kinds OF
drunks, you know, such as mild drunks,
silly drunks, fighting drunks and blind
drunks, and all must be treated in diff.
ferent ways. Now, the last feiler ]
took up to bed, f'rinstance, was just as
easy to handle as wax baby, and nc
more trouble to take than a drink; but
the man that came in before HIM was a
terror, a regular ugly one, who wouldn't
go above the first landin' without halt
an hours coaXin' and pushin', and he
wanted to knock out the bronze man
what holds up the gaslight at the head
of the office stairs. Old chaps and
countrymen seems to be the easiest to
manage; but some of the young city
blOodS that come IN late are worse than
SO many lunatics. Why took sort
of dude up to No. 431 last Tuesday
night that threw all the bedclOthes out
of the window while 1 went to get him
some ice water, and was tryin' his best
TO get the mattress out when l got
back. l had to go out in the street
and get the things, which was scattered
all over the pavement. Then they
sometimes make a fearful row and
wake up the other guests. and holler
for more grog, and get sick, and are
more trouble than twins with the mea-
sles;" and the night watchman sighed
as the memories of his by-gone expe.
riences with various kinds of ''drunks''
fitted across his brain.
''Do they ever give you anything fol-
for your trouble in taking care of
them?" queried the scribe.
"Well, no sir, not often, though
sometimes one of 'em will come down
handsome, but mostly when they have
to be helped to bed they are too rummy
to know enough to do ths right thing,
and, of course, when they wakes w
next morning they generally have heads
on 'em, and goes away without even
thinkin' of the trouble 1 had with ZEN
the night before, and even if they did ]
wouldn't be on duty, so they couldn',
remember my kindness anyhow. The
only case when 1 ever struck it real
rich was one night last May. / had
lugged a great big fellow, from Colo
RADIO. l think, up to 245, on the third
floor, and was just helpin' him into bed
which,
Here the hotel annunciator began
ringing, and the night clerk, looking
up, remarked with yawn: 'That's
the third time 219 has rung; Bill, s'pose
you let up on that fairy tale your,
giving us, and run up to see what hi
wants." and the much-enduring friend
of the intoxicated patrons of the hote
winked at the newspaper man, said
that's one of 'em," and slowly wer
upstairs.