Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-28

80. that Is nothing but little OF the
turkey dressing and gravy. You see
after pa aud got back from the roller
skating rink yesterday, pa was all
! broke up and he couldn't
carve the turkey, and I had to IT., and
pa sat vim stuffed chair with his
head tied up and pillow amongst his
legs, and kept complaining that /
didn't do IL right Col darn a turkey.
anyway. ! should think they would
make a turkey fat on the back, 80 he
would lay on greasy platter without
skating all around the table. IL looks
easy Ia see pa carve turkey, but
when ] speared into the BOSOM of
that turkey, and began to saw on IL,
the turkey rolled around as though 1t
was on castors, and il was all ! coeld
do to keep IL out of mas lap.
got off enough white meat
for pa and ma and dark enough for
me, and | dug out the dressing, but
most of 1t flew into my shirt bosom.
cause the string that tied the place up
where the dressing was concealed
about the person Of the turkey, broke
prematurely, and one oyster hit pa In
| the eye, aud he said ! was as awk-
ward az cress-eyed girl trying to kiss
n man with hair lip. III I ever get
! to be the head OF u family | shall
carve turkeys with corn sheller.p
But what broke your pa up at the
roller skating rink, asked the grocery
man.
20, everything broke him up. He
Is split up SO ma buttons the top Of
pants 10 his collar button, like %
/ bicycle rider. Well, he had no bus
mess TO have told me and my chums
that he used to be the best skater In
| North America, when he was boy,
/ He said he skated once from Albany
10 New York in an hour and eighty
| minutes. Me and my chums thought
! If pa was such a terror on skates we
would get him OH pair OF roller
skates and enter him as the great uu-
known" and clean out the whole
gang. We told pa that he must re-
member that roller skates were
| different from ice skates, and
that maybe he couldn't skate on them.
but he said II didn't make any differ
encc what they were AZ long IA they
were skates, and would just paralyze
/ the whole crowd. So we got a pair of
4 big roller skates for him, and while
we were strapping them on, pa looked
| at the skaters glide around on the
| smooth waxed floor Just as though they
were creased. Pa looked at the skates
on his feet, after they were fastened,
sort of foFloTn. like the horseihicf does
i when they put shacklcs on his legs,
4 and | told him IL he was afraid he
couldn't skate with them we
! would take them OF, but he
said he would beat ANYBODY
there was there, or bust suspender.
Then We Strengthened pm mp, and
I pointed him towards the middle of the
1 room, and he said "leggo,n and we
| just give him little push IN start him,
aud he began TO go. Well, by gosh,
you'd dido 70 have seen pn try 10
stop, You see, yon can't stick in your
heel and stop, like you can on lee
skates. and pm soon found thnt out,
and he begun to turn sideways, and hc
threw his arms and walked on his
heels, and lost his hat, and his eyes
began To stick out, because he was
going right towards an iron post.
One arm caught the post and he cir
cled around II n few times, and then he
let go and began To fall,
and, sir he kept falling ali
across the room, and everybody
got out of the way, except girl, and
pa grabbed her by the polonaise, like
II drowning man grabs at straws,
: though there wasn't any straws in her
polmnso AS ! know Of, but pm Just
pulled her along as though she was
done UP In II shawlstrap, and his feet
went out from under him and h,
struck on his shoulders aud kept ago
ing with the girl dragging along like ,
bundle of clothes. II pa had hat
another pair OF roller skates on hi
! shoulders, and casters on his ears, h,
couldn't have slid alodg any better
Pa Is short, big man, aud ~
lie was rolling along on his back, Ii,
looked like sofa with cas-
, tors on being pushed across
room by girl. FINAL,
pm came To the wall and had TO stop
aud the girl fell right across him, will
J her roller skates In his neck, and sh
called him an old brute, and told hin
II he didn't let go her polonaise sh
would murder him. Just then nay chun
and me got there and we amputat J,
pa from the girl, and lifted him up,an,
I told him for heavens sake TO let
take oil tlie skates, cause he couldn'
skate amy more than u COW, and p
/ was mad, and said for us to let hin
|. alone, and lac could skate all right
. aud we let go aud he struck out again
! Well. sir, was ashamed. An oil
man like pm ought to know bel
: ten than To try TO be Il boy
:, This last time pa said he wn
! going 10 spread himself and il m
I amy Judge of u fig spread, he di
! spread himself. Somehow the skate
!, Ind got turned round sideways o
' his feet, and his feet got 10 going /
different directions, and pas feet wei
so far apart that | wasairaid wou'
= have two pas, half the size, with on
e leg apiece, tried To get him TO tai,
u up collection of his legs, and 4,
+ arms flow around and one hit me q
the nose, and thought IL he wante
& 10 strike the best friend he had Il
g could run his old legs hisself. Whe
y he began Ia separate cuul
e; hear the bones crack, h,
q maybe II was his pants, but anywa
y he came down on the floor like one
y these fellows In circus who sprca,
himself, and he kept going, aud iixall
he surrounded an iron post with h
legs, and stopped, and looked pale, an
the proprietor of the rink told pa Ii !
" wanted to give dying trapeze pc
4 formancc he would have To 80 To Il
or gymnasium, and he couldn't ska
~ on his shoulders any NOR
"a cause other skaters wero afraid
him. Then pa said he would kick Il
liver out OF the proprietor of the rim
4. aud he got up and steaaied hinlsc
Z land then tried 10 kick the man, b
both heels went up TO won,
and nm turned a lack sul