The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-01-02
FLEA BITES.

The People Now on Earth All
Read Thorn.
An interesting phase Of society life is
seen when a young man gees TO call OH
Young lady and his setter dog follows him
and waits outside, each passer-by stopping
to read the name on the cOllar.-Ex.
Should that happen in Sedalia, there
would be one setter dog the less in exist
ence without doubt
A Laramie man who was divorced
from his wife, explained the circumstances
in these words II allus liked Sal purity
we'll. but she he'd habit of jahbin' her feet
under me nights. an it was just like sleep
in ON a corn husk bed."-Ex.
Let all wives take warning and hereafter
wear their stockings.
The Bey OF Tunis left 3e5 widows
when he died.-Ex.
He was a sensible man, but they prob
ably got badly left.
Gentlemen, when they dance round
dances, should wear gloves, else they might
ruin the ladies' dresses.-Mexico Ledger
They do ruin 'em, and the man that
verld put bis great greasy paws on q beau
tiful dress waist ought to be hanged with
out jufge or jury.
Scratch a beautiful woman and you
will find something curious.-Clara Bell.
No doubt of il, but why an ugly woman
couldn't produce something curious upon a
like occasion, is conundrum.
White underskirts are likely to be en-.
tirelv superseded BY colored materials,
such as flannel, balmorsls and petticoats
of colored and black quilted satin, so that,
take it altogether, we shall dance fewer
jigs on cold days to keep from freezing eur
limbs off-Clara Belle.
We never saw q woman dance jig to
keep from freezing her limbs of. but when
she does, We hope We shan't have our eyes
put out by red petticoat.
"A colored minister once opened the In
diana senate with prayer.
He might do for Indiana, bat Kansas
has two able-bodied chaplains s'.c.,ting
cast iron prayers out of double-har :eied
guns, which rattle Of the members backs
like drops of water off a goose.
An Iswa Evangelical preacher named
A. Wagner has been arrested, charged with
eudeavoring to kill his wife.-Ex.
1t is getting q ute common to kill wives,
and that preacher only wanted to be pro.
gressive.
Amt you glad that it won't come
again for whole year.-Ex.
What? That baby at the house with
green blinds, on Sixth street.
"A man in Louisiana married five
times in eleven months, and snapped hi.
last wife off for a shot, gun.
Did it 90 Off
Mrs. Belinda Rutherford, of Wsd
dington, St. Lawrence county, New York
is mad. The Ogdensburg Journal ba.
been printing SEINE history, and In speak
ing of her family makes two of them borr
before she was married This is not so
and after looking over the almanac anC
counting her fingers, she writes to the Potts
dam. n. Y, Courier to tell it so, for she
was married in 1850, and the oldest child
was born July 10Th. 1852; the second Oh
June 22d, 1854; the third on Nav 9Th
1856; the fourth on July 10Th, 1858; tn,
fifth on Nov. 18th, 1s60-while James D<
Forest was born on June 22d, 1866. Shs
says II the paper makes it out that Two
children were born before she was married
it will produce . wrong impression. And
this Is Why We hasten to set this matter
straight. We don't like to STE familie.
mixed up SO bad.
Wells Of black lace are nov worn in
full dress, caught on the top OF the head
With gold ornament, and the ends float
ing down over the shoulders.
Hsnged if we'd like 'em. We saw fel
low caught on the top Of the head with 8
gold ornament once, and both ends floated
down over his shoulders. There was ,
cane at one end of it, and he had to poul
tice right sharp for q week.
Mr.. Spartley says that one hundred
miles out of San Francisco, the reporters
of the daily papers board the incoming
trains. and interview each passenger, and
by the time one arrives in the city his OF
her name appears in print The morning
of his arrival quite a number of his old
Leavenworth friends were in waiting tC
see him, having seen his name in the morn.
ing papers -Ex.
Too slow. Sedalia reporters board al
trains before they start west and east, in
terview all the passengers, and the moment
they arrive present them with their auto
biography bound in morocco with gil,
edges, and handsome steel plate engray'
ing.
The force engaged ON the Daily mum.
bers six persons, inclusive Of editions and