Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-07-06
SelerF Rfaning.
The Bad Boy.

BOY. Il suppose you nave Deen having
a high old time. There is nothing
that does boy more good than to
have nice visit with good uncle,
and hear him tell about old times when
he and the boys father were boys to-
gether.
We'll, | don't know about it, said
the boy as he took a stick of macaroni
and began to blow paper wads through
it at woodsawyer who was filing a
saw out side of the door. When a
boy who has been tough has got his
pins all set to reform, don't think it
does him any good to have real nice
uncle come to the house visiting.
Anyway, that's my experience. have
backslld the worst way, and it is going
to take me month, after Uncle Ezra
goes away, to climb up to the grace
that | have fallen from. 1t is Darn
dscouraging,' said the boy as he look
ed up TO the ceiling in an innocent
sort Of way, and hid the macaroni
under his coat, when the woodsawyer,
who had been hit in the neck, dropped
his saw and got up mad.
What's the trouble. Your uncle
! has the reputation where he lives Of
being one of the pillars Of society.
But you can't tell about these fellows
when they get away from home Does
/ he drink
No, he don't drink, but as near as
can figure it he and pa were about
the worst, pills in the. tox when they
were young. don't want you to re
peat it, but when Pa and ma were mar
ried they eloped. Yes, sir, actually
run away, and defied their parents, and
they had to hide al out week for fear
mas father would fill pa so full of cold
lead that he would sink if he fell Ill
the water. Pa has been kicked over
the fence, and chased down alleys
dozens of times, by Mas grandfather
when he was sparkling ma, and ma was
Il terror too, cause her mother couldn't
10 anything with her, though she is
awful precise now, and wants every
body to be good. Why mas mother
used TO warm her ears and shake the
daylights out Of her, but it didn't do
anv good. She was mashed Oh pa, and
there was 10 cure for her except to
have pa prescribed for her as hus-
tand, and they ran away. Uncle Ezra
told me all about it. Ma haint got any
/ patti, rec WITH girts now days that have
minds of their own about fellows, and
she thinks their patents ought to have
all tie say. Well, maybe she thinks
she knows all about II. But when
people get in love it is the same now
as IT was VI hen pa and ma were trying
to keep out of the reach of my grand
fathers shotgun. But pa and Uncle
Ezra and Ma are good friends, and
they talk over old times and have d
big laugh. | guess Uncle Ezra was
too mnch for Ia IN joking when
they were boys, cause pa told me that
all rules against joking were suspend,
cd while Uucle Ezra was here, and
for NE to play anything on HIM
could. told Pa | was trying 10 LEAD
a different life, but he said what
wanted to do was to make Uncle Ezra
think of old times, and the only wa.
was to keep him on the ragged edge
thought if there was anything l
could do to make it pleasant Tor my
uncle; it was my duty to do it, SO |
fixed the bed Stats on the spare bed so
they would fall down at A. NJ. the
first night, and then retired. At two
O'Clock heard the awfulest noise III
the spare room, and a bowling and
screaming, and | went down and met
Uncle Ezra in the ball, and he asked
me What was the matter in there. and
| asked him if he didn't sleep in the
spare room and ne said no that ma
aud pa was i'll there, and he slept in
their room. Then We went in the
spare room, and you'd dde to see pa.
Ma had jumped ont when the stats
first iell, and vas putting Der hair up
IN curl papers when We got in. but pa
was all tangled up in the springs and
things. His had gone down first, and
the mattress and quilts rolled over
on HIM, and he was almost smotherea,
and We had to take the bed stead down
to get him out, the way you have to
unhai ntss horse when he runs away
and falls down, before you can get him
up. Pa was mad, and Uncle Ezra
laughed at him, and told HIM lie was
only toundered, and all he anted was
Il bran mush and some horse Eniment
and be would come all right. Uncle
Ezra went out in The hall to get pail
Of water to throw on pa, cause he
said Ia was afre, when pa asked me
why IN blazes | didn't fix the other bed
stats, and | told him | didn't know as
they were going to change beds, and
thu pa SAID dcnt let it occur again.
Pa lays everything to me. He is the
most changeable man ever saw. He
told ne to do everything Uncle Ezra
wanted me to, and then when | help
ed Uncle Ezra to play joke on pa. he
was mad. Say, | DON'T think this
world is run right, do you? | haven't
got much time to talk to you to- day,
cause Uncle Ezra and me are going
fishing, but don't it strike you that it
is queer tnat parents trounce boys for
doing just what they did themselves.
Now, | have got friend whose father
is a lawyer. That lawyer would warm
his body if he should tell lie, or as
sociate with anybody that was bad,
and yet the lawyer will defend man
he knows is guilty of stealing, and
get him clear and take the MONEY he
got from the thief, who stole it, tt
buy the same boy new coat to wear
to church, and he will defend a man
who committed murder, and make an
argument to the jury that will bring
tears to their eyes, and they will clear
the murderer. Queer, amt it? And