New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-09-16
THE MUSIC OF THE FUTURE.

There are few incidents better calculated TO
evoke floods of sympathetic tears from the multi
tude than that which preserves the inscription
found by traveller upon a modest headstone In
lonely churchyard Just out of North Oshkosh The
heaGstone bore only these words: - His neighbor
played the cOrnet'
An item of current news recalls this pathetic
tragedy and demonstrates that some coming head
stone may have a still more narrowing tale 10 mint
at. The item referred to runs as follows 81: Inc
hitherto unknown art OF playing on two comets Mt
once has been accomplished by Mr.. James 7.
Locke. of Toledo, Ohio Mr. Locke places the
mouth piece of each cornet at the corners OF his
month and blows with apparent ease and IN perfect
time and tune the same al? each horn or he Will
play the air upon one and an accompaniment on the
otherv Il will every person with an ear for
music aud nerves for torture that the discovery oil
this hitherto unknown art" lends new and
awful terrors TO existence. ut is solemn thing
IN be aliyep exclaims well. known poet. Ii is
lust that, even when n young gentleman who Is
earning TO play upon but single cornet at time
comes 10 reside In ones nelghborhood. But
picture TO youTself-in case you have an lmagi-
nation, reader. that responds to exacting de-
mands-bow vastly the soemnity of human
existence would be increased If this variety OF
musical amateur became fired with the ambition to
All thou that seepest with smashed tympanum
under the Oshkosh willows bending low with their
burden of silent sympathy IL is better thus. Ii the
blowing OF one instrument by the man round
the corner who had the shrewdness to
SIT back from the window while he
was executing favorite airs, 50 that thon hadst
no chance Mt him with thy shot gun-lf that dis
| tresscd thee how dual cornet music would have
lacerated thy sensitive soul!
In order to indicate the extent of tho arocity OF
which this misguided bat possibly well meaning
yonng citizen of Toledo is the pioneer 1t Is
| only necessary to recall the fact that
comets. like education, have become generally
| dltfnsed Perhaps In sections there Is CON-
pulsory conet law just as there = compulsory
| Education act At all events Mr.. Longfeow had
become SO thoroughly convinced that the cornet
WAS 10 be numbered among the American popular
| institutions that if we have not an untrustworthy
memory he once sang
| There IS no hreside, howeer defended,
| But hears some cornet bare
| Wall what can't be cuIed must be endured. Tho
| coming man must make up his mind TO hear his
neIghbur practse-ye gods and little fishes =
| practise" upon two comets at tine We pity the
| coming man; indeed we feel authorized to state
| that he has the non-partisan coincidence OF
every person in the metropolis who Is not an
| amateur performer on this instrument. Perhaps
but of course here we advance into the region
| of pure spccuatOn-peThaps the coming man, with
a pre vision OF two comets at time, will have the
| presence of mind to be born deaf.
word regard to the relation of this subject to
| the Indian policy OF the country. Ohe of our astute
| statesmen once expressed the opinion that the
| best Indian policy was tho policy OF ex-
termination, ara hence he was in favor of
the IN introduction of the ACCORDION among the red
men. We believe pubic sentiment is against the
policy of determination. but in case it ever should
be agreed on we recommend that two comets at
time be substituted for the ACCORDION. The accord
con. of course is tolerably deadly, but it must be
obvious to every that two comets at time In
the hands OF vigorous, persevering amateurs
good deal dcadlier.