The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1883-05-21


my chum, we can take n drink and
then let it alone. We have got brain,
and know when we have got enough,
but pa, when he gets to going don't
ever stop until he gets SO sick that
he can't keep his stummick inside
of hisself. 1t is getting SO they look
to me to brace pa up every time he
gets on tear, and 1 guess 1 fixed
him this time so he will never touch
liquor again. l scared him so his
bald head turned gray in a single
night"
''What under heavens have you
done to him now," says the grocery
man, in establishment. ~ hope you
haven't done anything you will re-
greet in after years"
"Regret nothing" said the boy,
as he turned the lid of the cheese
box back and took the knife and
sliced off piece of cheese, and took
few crackers out of barrel, and
sat down on soap box by the stove,
"You see ma was annoyed TO death
with pa. He would come home full,
when she had company, and lay
down on the sofa and snore, and he
would smell like distillery. 1t hurt
me to see ma cry, and l told her 1
would break pa of drinking if she
would let me, and she said if 1 would
promise not to hurt pa to go ahead,
and promised not to. Then 1 got
my chum and another boy, quite
big boy, to help, and pa is all right.
We went down to the place where
they sell arms and legs, to folks who
have served in the army, or saw
mill, or thrashing machine, and
lost their limbs, and we borrowed
some arms and legs, and fixed up a
dissecting room. We fixed a long
table in the basement, big enough to
lay pa out on you know, and then
we got false whiskers and NOUS
taches, and when pa came in the
house drunk and laid down on the
sofa, and got to sleepwe took him
and laid him out on the table, and
took some trunk straps, and sir
cingle and strapped him down to the
table. He slept right along all
through it, and We had another table
with the false arms and legs on, and
we rolled up oursleeves, and smoked
pipes, just like read that medical
students do when they cut up man.
Well, you'd a ,dide to see pa look at
us when he woke up. 1 saw him
open his eyes, and then we began to
talk about cutting up dead men.
We put hickory nuts in our mouths
so our voices would sound different,
SO he wouldn't know us.aand l was
telling the other boys about what a
time we had cutting up the last man
we bought!uI said he was awful
tough, and when we had got his legs
off and had taken out his brain. his
friends come to the dissecting room
and claimed the body, and we had to
give it up, But / saved the legs. 1
looked at pa on thel table and he be-
gan to turn pale, aud he asquirmed
around to get up, but found he was
fast. 1 had pulled his shirt up
under his arms, while he was asleep,
and as he began to move II took an
icicle, and in the dim, light of the
candles, that were sitting on the
table in beer bottles, I drewthe icicle
across pas stummick and 1 said to
my chum, DOC, guess We better
cut open this old duffcrand see if
he died from infammationof the stom-
mick, from hard drinking, as the
coroner said he did, Pa shuddered
all over WHOM lie felt the4icicle going
over his bare stummick, and he said,
For Gods sake, gentlemen, what
does this mean. l am not dead
The other boys looked at pa in
establishment, and I said swell, we
bought you for dead, ami the coro-
ner's jury said-you were dead, and
Ivy the eternal we'ain't going to he
fooled out of q corpse when we buy
one, are we DocY' My chum said
not If he kn6wed his self, and the
other students said, OF course he is
dead. He thinks he is alive, but he
died day before yesterday, fell dead
on the street, and ms folks said he
had been q nuisance and they
wouldn't claim the corpse, and we
bought it at the morgue,' Then |
drew tho leIole ACROSS him again, and
\ said II don't know ahout thic