Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-06-16
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We were rcadipg the other day Of the
marriage of woman In England, says
NH exchange, who was born without arms,
but who can use Lcr toes with rcmarka-
BILE dexterity. She eau sew, knit, CROCHET,
use knife aud fork and scratch her head
with her toes with rs much ease as more
fortunate mortals can with their fingers.
After reading the article we leaned back
in our easy chair, closed our eyes and al
lowed our thoughts to go of on an excur-
sion across tho water. We followed that
girl from the day when she first shared a
oead until her marriage and some of the
mental pictures we drew were indeed
queer ones. When her lover would call,
of course, she must receive him as other
ladies would, and just imagine how odd
il would be to see her reaching up her
foot, taking his hat between toes, placing
it upon the table and motioning him to
seat. She would sit by his side talking all
the little nonsenSical nothings that lovers
usually talk, ever and anon slapping him
lovingly on the cheek With the sole of her
foot when he would get off some joke at
her expense. She spies a hair OH his col
lar, and with the dexterity closely border
ing on the marvellous, reaching up with
witching grace, takes it in her toes and
casts il away. We can see her sitting
thsre with her foot in his hand, respond
ing TO his tenGer squeezes, or coyly toying
with his whiskers with her taper toes.
Nayhap lie may hint he doubts her con-
stancy, when, with an injured look upon
her face she puts her foot upon her heart
and assures him that it beats only for him,
that at every pulsxtion the bounding blood
murmurs his beloved name. Then he
smiles, takes the lovely foot In his hand,
kisses it fondly and assures her that no
was but testing, and that he would as soon
doubt the purity OF babe rs to doubt her
love. Ii his necktie became lOosened how
gracefully she would tie 1t with both feet,
tapping the tie neatly down with big toe
when the job WAS completed. We can
picture her screaming with laughter and
clapping her feet in high CLEO over some
funny story or wiping away the un5idden
tear with her toes at recital of want and
suffering. When about to part he would
kiss and ask herfor just one loving en-
brace, and with the light of love beaming
in her eyes she woulG-but no, that is not
the question. We forgot for the moment
her unfortunate condition. lie would
have to do all the embracing himself. She
would hand him his hat, escort him TO the
door, give him L good night shake Of the
foot and then sit down by the fire and
draw 4 beautiful picture of the day when
o he would fall upon his knees before her
and ask her for her foot and heart. Thsn
she would retire to her chamber, undress,
cit down OH the floor and bury her face in
her feet and say hor prayers as all good
girls should, and go TO bed to dream Of
future frescoed with bliss and dadoed with
supreme happiness.
And the marriage ceremony! OF course
arm Of the groom, III is customary, for it
would be rather unique and odd TO see her
hopping in OH one foot, and She might at
tract undue attention. They approach
the altar and the ceremony begins. Where
right hand, are usually joined she must
give him her right foot, and at the words
"with this ring thee We'd" the peculiar
circumstances Of the case would compel
him to place the golden band Of love upon
one of her toes. OF course it would tickle
her, and she might finch and wriggle her
pearly toes, but this need cause no serious
hitch in the proceedings.
After the ceremony friends would crowd
up and shake her foot and rain down bless
ings and kind wishes upon her head, and
under propitious skies they would set
forth upon the journey of life foot in hand.
If the union should be blessed with chill
dren, how exhilarating it would be to see
her spank sn obstinate boy. She would
snatch him up with her toes, lay him
across her knees and whack the holy de-
lights out Of him with the sole of her foot.
Then she would release him, shake her
toe at him sternly, and tell him that il he
over disobeys her again she will make him
think he has been sitting on ahot-steye lid.
AS to kueadirg dough for the morning
biseuits-well, we will drop the curtain
OF curiosity, and pursue her no further.