The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-05-16
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A relic hunter-A fellow endeavor-
ing to capture a widow.
Thieves are always willing to take
a hand in any business.
A sound education can only be oh.
tanned from a music master.
Spring fashions prevail all the year
round at the circus.-Neso York
Journal.
A man lately married, was asked at
the club about his bride. 2" Is she
pretty?' NO" replied he, "she is
not, but she will be when her father
dies"
Literary query: A new book is en-
titled "Short Sayings of Great Men"
When are we to have the "Great Say
ings Of 81 hlrt ?'--Neto York
NelcS.
Nothing so strongly tests a mans
veracity as 30 be summoned to the
door to be confronted by the question:
care you the head of the house9"-
YonkerS statesman.
Careful housekeeper at breakfast:
Bridget, Bridget, there's fly in the
ROOM" Yis, inda1e, ma'am, know
there is. 1t got in this morning, when
me back was turned"
Painted sashCs are said to be fash
ionable, but on the crossroads the
weather-beaten pine-sash, with an old
hat supplying the place Of glass, may
still be seen.-Boston Bulletin.
1t was Darling Georgo" when a
bridal couple left Omaha; it was
Dear George" at Chicago; at Detroit
it was George" and when they
reached Niagara Falls it was "Say
you p
A calculation shows that Dundee
spinner must spin sixty miles of yarn
to earn 50. Almost any country store
can produce men that will spin a
longer yarn for notling.-Pitts5Org
Telegraph.
Lightning struck contribution
plate in Western church just as the
deacon was passing it around. "This
is the first time anything has struck
this plate for three MONTHS" said the
deacon, thoughtfully.
Everything is as regular as clock
work about my house." sail Brown,
who was showing the splendors of his
new residence to some of his friends.
"Yes," said Fogg, " it is tick, tick,
all the time, | suppose. .'-Boston
Transcript.
A five-year-old who went TO school
for the first time came home at noon,
and said to his mother: Mamma, I
don't think that teacher knows
much" "Why not, dear Z" Why
she kept asking questions all the time.
She asked where the Mississippi river
was"
A girl, seven or eight years old,
slipped down on Woodward avenue
the other day. AS she was picking
herself up a pedestrian said Don't
cry, sissy" who's going toP" she
sharply demanded, as she rose up.
al guess when a girl has got her
mothers shawl on she amt going to
let anybody know she's hurt l"-De-
troit Free Press
Two little girls met ON the street the
other day, and one sail to the other
"I'ye put ali my dolls into deep
mourning, and it's so becoming to
them Come over and see them"
"What did you do that for?' "Oh,
we had c'lamity Our dog got killed,
and there didn't anybody care but me
and them; we've just cried our eyes
out" Then the other little girl said
in slow, deliberate tones MAY VIII
son, amt you lucky, thought There's
always something happening YOU
Detroit Post.
WHY SHE'S so CHARMING.
Poets may sing of houris fair,
With oh, such wealth of golden hair;
Such eyes, such lips such-I don't care,
They can't compare with Jessie
Painters may blend their colors bright
With rainbow tints and soft moonlight,
Butnever in their widest flight
Could they come near my Jessie.
Sculptors may chisel from the Stone
Ideals that need but breath alone
To live and move, and yet not one
Could ever equal Jessie.
You ask me why this maiden rare
SO charming Is beyond comps ~ -
Well, her papa's millionaire -,sf,,,. ,
An only child my Jessie n q. -
--- ".
Navy blue remains the fac
for yachting and mountain sly