Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1883-11-01
HERE and THERE.

Many . woman who does not even
know the multiplication table can
figure" in society Yonkers Statesmen.
'Yes," said Mr.. Brynesmonkey. s'Taw-
mus has met with a financial reverse.
He's made $50 somehow. "-Bonon Post. |
eyes," said Mr. Byrnesmonkey ,"Taw.
mus improved an opportunity given him
to speak after that dinner by keeping |
still. "-Boston Post.
Some men are 80 lucky that they |
couldn't fall overheard without being |
pulled up with their pockets full of fish |
-Ne,o York Commercial.
A split in the Greenbaok party Of
Massachusetts, is reported. He must have
attempted to get down on both sides of |
a fence at once.-Norristopn Herald.
The Princess Beatrice plays the harp
the Princess of Wales plays the piano, and
the Prince Of Wales sometimes plays
well, 1t ID too profane to print.-Norris.
topn Herald.
A Baltimore man the other day, while
taking bath, became raving maniac.
In Arkansas they'd say he was maniac
before he ever consented to get into the
bath Boston Post.
YES" said Miss Penn, 'I rejected
MIR. Hogg. Nice fellow, but couldn't
have the announcement Of my marriage
appear in the papers under the headline
Hogs Penn. "-Boston Post.
mo more of the fruit, but little more
of the juice, II you please" said the tenn
petance advocate when his hostess asked
him to have another dish of preserves
branded peaches. --NeD York CONNER
ciai Advertiser.
An exchange speaks Of ga vegetable
acrobat" bat 1T is not what the boy calls
turn up" If there is an acrobat in
the floral kingdom, It must be the
Johnny. jump-up ."-Norristow Herald.
The hotel walters costume still remains
the standard for an American mans full
dress. To prevent mistakes at parties.
however, the waiter is directed to carry
towel on his arm instead OF young lady.
-New Orleans Rcayune
He skipped inte the sanctum with step as
"A little pun original m read to you" he said:
"Ihe melon-colic days have come, the sa1dust
of the year.
Bang went the gun. He's sleeping now with
daisies DER his head.
| --Neio York Journal.
| How did you operate to bring out
full vote I" was asked an old politician
| Just in from Ohio. "Well," was the
reply, 1--WE first got the fellow that
owned the vote full, and the rest was
easy enough. "-NeU York Commercial
Advertiser.
"Do you think 1t is wrong for girl to
kiss good-looking Young fellow ~ he
asked. "1es, do. It's awful wrong.
But don't think"-and she looked at
him very sweetly-"that it ia so dreadful
wicked for a od-looking young man to
kiss girl. "-Meriien Traveller.
Philanthropist "Pardon me. but 1
wish to contribute 10 new oharity-a
is the place isn't it2' Door. tender /:
''No, sir, it isn't. This is the stage.door
OF spectacular theatre, and these
females going in are the ballet girls. o-
Philadelphia Call.
st. Paul claims the smartest preacher
in the country. He is of the African per-
suasion, and last Sunday he preached
two sermons and whitewsshed butcher
shop, for which he received $5-tnst is,
for the whitewashing. He is said to be
as handy with one as the other -Reck's
| Sun.
The proposition OF one Of the railroad
companies to number the hours right
along to "a o'clock is unique but not at
all absurd. We might just as well split
the year into two parts as to have day
and night divided as at present. Chicago
Inter. Ocean. Don't know how it is In
Chicago, but in this region we divide the
year into IL parts.-Boston Post.
Some Mohammedan prophesies that the
world is to come to an end on the 8th OF
November. This ia pleasant. We shall
make arrangements, il the affair really
does come off, to give the fullest obtain
able particulars thereof at as early an
hour in the day as possible, even il we
have to issue an extra or double sheet
or both.
"No, Joseph, the steam heating com.
pany was not formed for the purpose Of
, heating steam. Steam ia heated before
it is mads-that is to say, when you heal
the steam-no, when you make the steam
-no-well, confound you, don't you
know that steam is hot anyway, and
doesn't have to be heated by com
! pany f''-Scientsic American.
3 We have received a life insuranc,
4 circular which informs us that by psyine
, six dollars year for i've weeks we'll ge
back 100000 in six months-or rather
t by paying S. week for 5000 YEAR
We'll get back 500 in-that ia by pawn,
3 $6,0 900 year for FIVE weeks, we'll ee
3 back-We've got this thing sort of mixed
We must consult the circular again.
Norristoon Herald.
= The other day Philadelphia maj
! | quarreled with Boston man and az
changed cards, as they thought, but tn
: Boston mans card was one which he hat
r picked up in John l.. Sullivan's saloo,
' and had Sullivan's name on it in big let
tiers. The Philadelphia man by mistak
i had given his foe free ticket, on which
q was inscribed, "Admit one. Buffalo Bill. )
a To-day Philadelphia and Boston have tw
. Of the most scared fellows in the country
: philadelphia Call.
1t ia difficult to imagine more respon
II sibls position than that enjoyed by tn
g typos employed on the Missouri Uniper
i suy Rerlsw. 1t keeps an intelligent Gem
:, positor at work about "a hours a day fix
v ing up the copy of the scientific editor
5 $50 it will make sense" For instance
= We no ice that the reader ia entrested OF
n page lins s for ''moulds" to rea,
r ''monsds " At another place for Gin
l. hoto'" w ieau JUS uatuFaiH, an
vt again, in place of "Timmy o'Donoya,
d ate doughnuts ferociously, 'sssssTime
/, Danaos ct dons ferentes." This ia Yer,
10 bad.-St. Louis Post Dispatch.
:. The following story of Henry Irwin
d WAS told in London the other day by a
Ie American actor Giving" said he
5. s'has the reputation of being littl
near, as they say here, in money mat
l. ters One night last month he cam
70 down 10 the Lyceum Theatre in mar
8 som, and as he alighted he banded tn
csbby his exact fare, one shilling, omit
ss ting the Gus omary grstuity of tnrur
70 pence or sixpenoe. The cabby yer
'r solemnly took the coiu, looked at
3. oross.eyed and said Beg pardon, MI
Hirviug, but don't you play Shy lookY'
And the cabby rolled away.
"stand up" said Prof. English to tn
8, head hoy, this morning "Spell sadmi,
/, tsnce,' and give the definition" Thi
10 word went from the head to near tn
Is foot, all spelling the word but could nc
80 tell the meaning Of it, until it reached
8 little boy near the foot, who had Sc q
N the circus bills posted around the Unite
- States square, who spelled the ord sad
J. mittance" correctly. "What does
N mean 2'' asked Prof. English. "Admi,