Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1883-04-11
Amusing the Children.

Many of the household recipes printed in
the newspapers are glaring frauds, calcu-
lated to engender trouble and cause infeli-
city in the domestic circle.
The other morning Mr.. Newbanks read
in his favorite journal an article on I" How
to Amuse the Children at Home" The fol-
lowing formula was one of the plans sug-
gested
Plaster-of-paris is cheap let the chill
dren have some to mix with water, and pour
into anything hollow, as, for instance, the
halves Of old tin animals which have been
parted asunder, and the result will delight
their young souls"
This scheme favorably impressed Mr..
Newbanks. 1t possessed many advantages
over such juvenile pastimes as constructing
mud pies, falling into ponds, and stoning
the neighbors' cats and dogs aud was de-
signed to develop an artistic taste in the
children.
In the afternoon, as Mr.. Newbanks was
deeply absorbed in the composition of an
Unseenness for a scientific monthly, bis
wife entered his library, and impulsively ex.
claimed, in sentence wholly innocent of
punctuation points,
"Now William Pm going out couple of
hours and do see if you can't keep the chill
dren out of mischief until return and is
my bonnet on straight ?"
"Oh, there'll be no trouble about the chill
dren-don't worry about 'em," said Mr..
Newbanks, confidently, without looking up
from dis writing. Your bonnets all right"
The plaster-of.paris project was still
fresh in Mr.. Ms mind, and after the depart
ure of his wife he summoned his children
two lively boys and ditto girl--and read
them the simple directions of the recipe.
Then he procured a peck of the plaster,
and instructed them how to mix and use it,
delighting their young souls " by impru-
IDENTIFY pouring quantity of the stuff into
small bottle, which he afterward broke and
showed them the "resuN." He knew from
the eagerness manifested by the little ones
to test the recipe that it was going to be an
overwhelming success and providing them
with a number of hollow things with which
to experiment. he left them, with the in
junction to "amuse themselves and keep
out of mischief" Then he returned to his
library, and resumed work on his scen-
tific essay.
The children remained very quiet, and
Mr.. Newbanks' favorable opinion of the
recipe steadily increased as the hours went
laundering down the ages.
The womenfolks," he soliloquized, fix
ing his eyes on a handsome monogram PEN
wiper, and instinctively wiping his pen on
his coat sleeve, "are forever prating and
moaning about being worried nearly to
death by the children, and having the life
worried out of them,' and all that sort of
nonsense. Why, it it the simplest thing in
the world to amuse the little ones and keep
them out of misch--"
G, I
Tommy, breaking in upon his parents re-
ON the table his fathers twenty dollar meer-
schaum pipe-a highly priced Christmas
gift-the bowl of which he had filled with
plaster, and then essayed to crack the
"mould," as his father had treated the
bottle.
Mr.. Newbanks rapidly grasped the situa-
tion, and his opinion of the recipe fell to
zero as if by magic. Selling Tommy by
the arm, he angrily exclaimed; "Why, you
little rasc-"
"Papa papa |" cried Rosie, rushing into
the library, with her eyes full of delight,
and her dress full of the mixture, come
out an see what Charles doin'."
"Why, Rosie" said the father, with con-
siderable asperity "just look at your dress
My my I'll have to"
"Wow Woo-ooo-oowou ouch-wow" scream
ed Charlie, dashing into the room at this
juncture, with blood oozing from war
map on his left cheek, and his hair matted
with plaster. Wow-ooo-wowl |"
"Why, what in the world is the matter,
Charlie ?" auxiously questioned the father.
"What has happened?"
Aud Charlie said, " 1t was-boo-hoo-the
cat"
Mr.. Newbanks soon discovered that the
children had literally followed the news
paper directions, and poured the plaster
"into anything hollow" and if the author
of the recipe had made his appearance at
that moment he would have been assassin
ated on the spot. Charlie had discovered
cavity in the cats ear, and, despite the ami
mails terrible splitting aud swearing, insisted
upon filling it with plaster, and only de-
sisted when the feline further showed her
disapprobation Of the scheme by inserting
couple of claws in the little fellows cheek.
Mr.. Newbanks was constrained to admit
that while this mode of amusing the chill
dren might delight their young souls, it had
decidedly antipodal effect on the more
mature spirit. With gloomy forebodings
he made reconnaissance of the premises,
and found the following among other "hol-
low things which had been brought into
requisition to amuse the children and keep
them out OF mischief:
Mammals seventyfye doller Japanese
vase, badly battered in the effot to loosen
the plaster little Tommy's savings bank,
the contents of which, when removed. de-
lighted their young souls by bearing strik-
ing resemblance to lump of cream candy
interspersed with walnut kernels the waste
pipe in the bath-tub plumbers bill for re-
pairs, Sl1.45); papa's curious bronze ink
stand, relic of the Uentennial-had never
been soiled with ink-badly damaged key
hole of the door (bill for removing the
plaster, 81 25); Rosie's pocket-a rather
brilliant idea, but dismal failure in au ar
tistic point of view.
When Mrs. Newbanks returned home she
surprised her husband surveying the ruins
or mess," as she termed it--and from
the significant manner in which she elevated
her hands aud fixed her eyes upon him he
correctly inferred that she was about to
make some derogatory remarks, and not
wishing to interrupt her oratory or dam her
flow of eloquenoe, he rushed from the house
with the explanation that he must be at the
postoifi,e before the mail clos, d, and he had
only three minutes to spare. All he heard,
aa he shot ont of the door. WAS