National Republican., 1883-09-20
CuRRENT Goss1P.

health than even Mr.. Tden.
The heaviest item Of expense at summe
resort hotels this season has been fuel.
THOMAS MAST, the caricaturist is viewing
the wonders Of the west with an artistic eye.
MGR. CApEL thinks the Boston people would
DO very nice were 1t not for their devotion 10 beans
and Sullivan.
THE impression in the west seehns to be that
Mr Hendricks finds II hard work TO boom the old
ticket in Iowa.
1T is grnvely announced that Col Mike
Sheridan will write a book ON the Yellowstone
park excursion.
LONDON has society woman 40 years old
and still wears bangs and endeayors to blush
when complimented
"lr will 10 a very cold day whom we get
left under the shadow Of the moth pole all win
ter"-Ltem Gdrlin0ton
WHEN there are 100000 artificial teeth
made annually IN the United States, no woman
should be afraid to smile.
STATISTICS show that the number of fsh
caught by tho presidential party is greater than
that Of the entire electoral vote.
"HAvE You Seen My Dear Love ~ sings a
newspaper poetoss. wo have. He was eating
peanuts with another girl.-BtpltReton FFcc Press
WHILE Kansas woman was giving her
along and carried him over into tho next county.
JONATHAN c. BowLEs who recently died
| as pauper IN the Cleveland lnfrmary, was twice
worth 100000 He lost both fortunes in specula.
tlons.
ARTIFICIAL macaroni has crept into the
! American market and the Italians are talking up
indignation meetings and swe airing in fractured
English.
TINE eldest son of the lato ongeessman
Ofth, of Indiana who was leEt out in the cold by
his fathers will, intends 10 contest for sharc in
the estate.
They have somo pretty solid we'll estab-
| lished newspapers in Canada The Hamilton
Spectator for instance, was serenaded by two bras
bands In one day, and still lives.
Mary ANDERSON has returned with thanks
n plsy which Oscar Wilde wrote for her Wilde's
career as playwright ssems 10 DO not noie sue
eeSsftil than his season a. n dude.
YES" said tho actor, what objected to
was this; Tomatoes are said 10 produce caueer.
and when this audience began to pelt Inc with em
ielt they were exposing me TO that dread disease"
THE king of Siam beats New York brokers
In trade dollar speculation. lie is buying them at
ninety in Singapore and making ach dollar into
two samese ticals, which pass at sixty cents each.
A TROY man bears the imprint of horse
shoe plainly and perfectly outlined upon his hip
He does not think it is a birthmark; he thinks it
came from footing around u mule.-Buriino.Jn
Free Prcss.
JUST north of Ell Paso, Texas there is q
bold and picturesque mountain. On the day of
the Java dissster gentleman on this mountain
heard rumblings in its recesses, and felt number
Of severe shocks.
THERE has been less hay fever in New York
this summer than was ever known before. and the
aaN. NI.aNl sUNI
tirely disappear. The Sew Workers have just
learned that it isn't English
A FASHION exchange says that short
dresses are almost universal. We fail to see how
that can be so. We shonld judge that the shorter
the dress the less universal 1t would be. But per-
haps we err.-Teras SiJtir,gs.
A MIDDLE-AGED lady applied to Mr.. Barnum
for the position of circus manager. When asked
about her proficiency she naiyely replied that she
had been married three times, and IL anyone
could explain the word circus she was the person.
IT is said that at least seven millionaires
perished in the earthquake ut Ischia. To be pos
sessed Of $500 900 constitutes millionaire in Italy.
Fortunes reckoned by lires, and lire is equal
to franc, or about twenty cents in currency.
THE New York Morning journal says that
"a man in Harlem is so fat that the shadow he
casts is as round as ball." He's pretty corpulent,
no doubt but there is q man in Norristown SO fat
that his shadow leaves n grease spot wherever 1t
touches.-Norristopn Herald.
CALEB STocKwELL, of London, Ont, was
exceedingly surprised the other morning when
Mrs. Stockwell presented him with two sons and
two daughters, all new. Subsequently, when
asked what he'd got he sorrowiully said, Only
f two small pair" The little ones are thriving.
GREEN PITTS, q colored man of Mont
gopaery, is u celebrated turkey hunter. A few
1 aunh ha WA ve1ninp in he
Cotonia swamp. when a large OWL mstaking him
for a turkey, swooped down and buried his talonI
: in his face. An owl is not always as wise as he
looks.
AN Albany firm have utilized tin scraps
They make wrought plate dovetails for stove legs,
and utilize from six TO eight tons Of scraps every
Y month for this purpose. The articles made are
small pieces Of tin Of peculiar shape, which are
used by stove members to make perfect dovetai
!, on stove bottoms.
/, THE Abbe Franz Liszt, who has been stay
Q ing for time in Weimar, is giving the finish
ing touches to his great oratorio, 'stanislaus,
which he has been hard at work upon for som,
years past. He occupies his spare moments II
: writing waltzes two OF which have been recent,
f published), and every alternate day he recoive
q his numerous pupils.
: A SENSIBLE American, who has seen Mis-
d Chamberlain, whose beauty has turned the head
tne lOnuOueTs, says hne WOulu not DO regarded
n as particularly handsome in this country, wher
beautiful women plenty, but in England tn
article is so that it is not strange people ar
upset by her good looks Ten TO one he is exactl,
= right.
: AT one of the watering places an impatien
D young man walked up to the bathing house II
y which he thought his male companion was dress
70 ing, and knocking on the same, testify inquired
IS "When in plazes are you going to get thos
pants on?" There was faint gurGle and a sill
yer voice replied; when get married. / sup
, pose."
=, DISCIPLINE in the Anamese army is illus
- trated by story at Hue Of an officer who had
II ditch dug and filed the bottom with swords AM
a pixies stuck Into the ground point upward. Hi
~ men were then told to ding themselves into tn
ditch. only one man obeyed. lie rushed in, an
the swords and pixies collapsed before him. The,
had been held by the most slender of threads.
CIRCUS man in Europe has new way
raising money. He rafies off his African lion a
O. each town he visits. In this style of rafie III
victim is the unfortunate winner. "Take you
r. lion," says the honest circus man as he goes
B. open the cage. Tho crowd stampede, The III
= lucky owner, who finds he cannot buy the cage
generally pays the circus man to keep the brut'
IN FIVE of the London water companies draV
70 their supply from the Thames, from which the