The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1883-10-26
Counting q Rich Girl.


Counting a Rich Girl.
Next to tiger-hunting there is nothing
so exciting rs making love to rich
girl. OF course, yOu are supposed to
be u poor young man. and how to COM
pete with her rich and accomplished adj
mirers is question that haunts you.
Success will be easy if you know how
to 90 to work. In the first place. you
must get all mercenary thoughts out Of
your mind. TO do this there is nothing
like early rising and cooling diet. Hav-
ing gotten Yourself into a wOOing con-
ditiOn, set about the task with a bust
ness-like determination.
Improve every opportunity OF getting
into the presence of the millionaire g
daughter, but always appear entirely
unconscious of her presence. II YOU
chance to lind yourself near her. go to
another part of the room, and pay court
to the homeliest and most neglected
girl in the house. Tell your best sipr-
les and display your choicest vii; pres
emily YOU will have u crowd Sf listenc: -
who will hang upon Your word, and he
swayed by your elOquence. the rich
Young lady will hear the murmurs oi
applause. and, for time. will remain
obvious of the sensation won are max
ing: then she will grow uneasy. and
give nonsensical orders To the servants.
weather in Scotland and the fashions in
Holland, and finally, with an ingenious
air of Indifferent surprise. remark:
81 wonder what that tyoung man is
saying TO those foolish girls.
OF course you hear the lady talking.
but must affect more entire ignorance
of her presence, while you continue
your eloguence. 1t will not be lone be
fore the beautiful heress will slyly ask
what You are talking about. The re.
ply will be- entirely unsatisfactory.
Then the heircss will invite YOU To sit
near her. II you are wise you will be
brilliant. and further excite her curius.
ity by few words, pointing witticism
or two, and speedily return to yOul
friends. This will pique the rich young
lady and her heart will burn with an.
ger. As soon rs you discover that she
is really interested in what You are say.
ing, and seeks your society, make prep.
arations to depart. Go through grand
flourish OF devastating with your neg.
lected listeners, keep them amused anC
smiling until the last moment, then pc.
litely take leave of your heireSs and &C
home.
This little maneuvre of yoars will end
her pleasure for the evening. Preciou.
little sleep will she get that night. All
the fine phrases and fowcry compli.
ments of her wealthy suitors will be
lost in her thought of how you sligh,et
her.
Unlike men. women are impetuous.
They do not wait. On the very mex,
day the heiress will send You an invita-
ton to attend party. She will be-
there and so will you. On this occa
sion YOU must pay her your finest nd.
dress. DO il in fine. delicate but in
different way. Your conduct will agai,
perplex the heiress. but never mine
that.
You must now talk constantly of her
TO her friends. Tell them that yO,
would like TO shoot three or four of hei
lovers; that if she were not rich yOr
would walk over ten acres of bayOnets
to make love to her. In \ few days yOr
will receive an invitation TO anothc,
party. If you are wise you will senc
regrets and decline to 90. Explain &c
her friends that you are madly in love
with her, and that your sense of honor
keeps you from in,ruding upon her pres
ence. Send her anonymous bouquets
merely writing From friend on tn,
card. Your star must begin TO rise up.
on the horizon; YOU must go away for !:
few weeks While you are gone write
ardent but very respectable letters Il
her friends from your place of exile
On your return you will'ge an invita-
ton TO call on her. You must 90 a.
once, talk to her rs if you owned her
Give her good advice, explain yOm
views of self control. then change the
conversation until il concerns yourself
q good deal. and make the girl yom
conlidant. Tell her in warm guSh o.
enthusiasm how much you love ricl
girl, but add that you are poor, and
feel that il would he dishonorable 10
propose to her.
In conclusion say that you intend TO
leave the city in a week-forever, never
to return again. This will make the
heiress tremble. She will ask YOU 10
name the girl. While she catches her
breath, blush again, let your heart swell
and the tears flow from your eyes. Sly
with sob. that she is the one YOU love.
and then rush for the door. Your sweet.
beautiful heiress will give one cry. iliny
her arms around your neck and sob, Il
love you with all my heart: take me.
etc, while you clasp her to your breast
and rain kisses upon her lips. During
this period of divine ecstasy (Which will
seem about two centurics) suddenly re-
turn to your senses. tear yourself from
the girl, and wildly exclaim that the
sacrifice must not be. Say that her
friends will reproach you and justly ac-
cuse you of destroying the life of 4 poor
girl; say that you love her too well to
drag her down to poverty, cheap laun-
dries, etc.
That night you will go home Caesar
with Caesars crown upon your brow.
and in few weeks You will be married
to q woman who truly loves with her
whole soul. But not until you nave
taken possession of noble palace on
the Hudson, with luxury and fine horses
all around you, will. you begin to real
ize into what depths of contempt sor-
did man can descend.