Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-02-21
PLEASANTRIES,

n FAIH Vi Ilpp6TS-Orango and Dana-
na-skins.
The song of the bricklayer-" Still
there's mortar follow"
The potato masher is gentleman
compared to the male firt.
A GUMDRoP-Reduction in the price
of Arctic overshoes.-Puck.
MEIER borrow if you can helpit, but
always keep Lent. Chicago Journal.
The German proverb, "If L rest,
rust" is Americanized to read, eff I
trust, bust"
AN old lady asked at the Sandersville,
Ga, postoffice for "yaller developments
to do letters up in
A NEW patent ballot-box has been in
vented which it is said "knocks the stuff
! fing' out of the old kind.
QUEBEC has railroad on ice, which
will make it so handy in the spring, to
water the stock.-SyrGcNSe Herald.
SINCE the recent hotel fires, the land
lords find themselves like the feeble
minded class, little empty in the up
per stories.
PRACTICE makes perfect. True, but
man can continue to drop a hot horse
shoe as readily the first time trying as
the second.
ONE of the leaders of the Delaware
senate is DR.. Mustard. He draws well
and is reckoned a very smart man.
Hartford Post.
The English papers call Egypt the
"Gate Of India" One of those uncom-
mon cases where the fence costs more
han the park.-Burldragton H0wkeye.
4" HAVE any faith In human nature ?"
exclaimed the deacon. I" We'll, should
blush to hesitate. I don't know whether
you'll believe it or not, but I loaned my
umbrella to the new dominic this morn
ing"
HIS excellency: "You have brothers ?"
Captain: "One, your excellency." His
excellency: cts curious. Twas talk
ing with your sister, and she said she
had two brothers. How is that p
F2iege1ade BJatter.
THE story is told, it may or may not
be true, that during free fight in
Chicago saloon a man was shot in the
mouth, but escaped injury through the
ball fattening itself against his breath.
Rochester Express.
The young man who called on his girl
the other night and mistook the cat for
the chair cushion and sat down on it,
says that he had no idea cat could
come up to the scratch on such short
notice HortaUeU (GG.) Sum-
"PA, is it right to cali man born in
Poland a Pole % "Of course, my
child" "Well, then, if man is born
in Holland, is he hole 2" "Tut, TUT
I'll answer no more of your silly ques-
tionsp Courier-Jo Journal.
THEY are now telling story about
Chicago girl who insisted on throwing
her shoe after newly-married couple.
The carriage is a total wreck, doctor
has the bride and horse under treatment,
and large numbers of men are searching
the ruins for the groom. CHAT.
CIRCUMsTANTIAL evidence: An otter
was killed by milkman on the bank of
the Maple River. near Ida Grove, the
other day. The finding of an otter is
something remarkable, but the fact that
the milkman was at the river in order to
make the capture is still more strange
yes, passing strange. dubuque Times.
A PRINTERS towel fell out of third
story window In a New Jersey town, the
other day, and cracked paving stone.
The crash was heard two blocks away,
and a little boy ran home, with white
lips and trembling limbs, to tell his
} mother that he had seen " a negro man
tumble off roof and explode his head. "
The Mayor of Lebanon, Ind, was
called upon at a banquet to speak for his
town. He had hard work to find any
great attractions to boast of, but finally
proudly claimed superiority for his city
in the matter of twins, saying that
eighteen pairs had been born there dur
ing the past year.-Nea0 Haven Beg
lister.
ono" EXCLAIMED Mr.. Penhecker.
''No, madam, [ object most decidedly.
Once and for all I say 1.-THE girls shall
not be taught foreign languages. "And
why not, pray?" said Mrs. P, with with
ering sarcasm. because" said Mr.. P,
With more whitening sarcasm, 'Fbe-
cause, Mrs. P, one tongue is enough
) for any woman!'
CONCERNING the faith cure: Have
you ever tried the faith cure ," asked
long haired, sallow-faced stranger, adj
dressing gentleman who sat behind
him in Brooklyn Street car. ST have, :"
was the answer. DO you believe in
it.?" "I do" "May I ask, then, of
, what you were cured?" Certainly.
) I was cured of my faith. "
| ct AM sorry to hear ofyour uncle hav-
} ing drowned himself at sea-, said Gil
J hooly to an influential citizen of Austin,
who wore sad look and Grape on his
hat. ''Yes, it was very sad" 'SD1d he
have any grounds for % "How the
poischiaf oO11ld he have anv grounds for
it out at sea, where the water is a mile
and half deep. "-TeroS Siftings.
"D1D you get any orders?" asked the
boss of the drummer who had just re-
turned from the first trip. I"Any or
ders?" echoed the drummer: ''that's the
trouble; that's all 1 did get. [ was
ordered out eff every shop went into
before l could sell thing. Oh, yes,
orders enough, if that's all fellow
wants.
ANSWERS to correspondents: Lilly
M. s., Monmouth, H.: Would you