Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-12-30

they thought any further about Il they
kad got the love fever so badly, and
were quite Distressed that Il could never
aYoa know you'll break that young
mans heart,r said old Fulford, pathet.
ically, 70 bis child one day when he had
nothing else 10 say -tsg
.iNonsense, papa, Pm sursI shan't., y
b 1It's nonsense, Of courae, but he may
keep serious suitors away.n~-,
aAnd why shouldn't he be Q serious
suitor?o ventured Milly blushing.
"Thst's good,n said papa, "why ne
hasn't tive pence. To be sure, 1t cuts
ways. / mean the buzzing about you.
II attracts other wooers.
"Oh, papa, what q shame! I'm sure
ifpoor Allan heard"
"That's good again. Poor Allan Is
good"
"And suppose ] choose to marry
himP" said the young lady, faring up
and stamping very pretty foot.
Then, my dear, +" said the fond father,
imperlurbably, al shouldn't give you
one farihipg."
Aud the: girl hadn't the slightest
doubt that he meant what he said.
A short time after the above little
eonEab, the waking up rs to the clear
irg the road for the twins came and
shook the house of Fulford like an
earthquake.
"What are you about, mother?" ask
ed James, the second son. He evident
Nv thought mother was sort OF hus.
band- hunting hound, and sure 10 bring
down her quarry II properly urged to it.
We'll, my dearest jim, what eau l
90? 1 take her everywhere. I've told
ter it's ridiculous her not going off"
absurd"
"And il makes people laugh at me"
Then Howard, the eldest hope of the
FUliords, lounged in.
"Eh. talking of Milly? Oh, yes, you
know. say, dash it all, mother, some
thing must be dOnew and he pulled
away at cigarette he was consuming,
as if he thought even that form of en-
ergy might do good to the cause they
had on hand.
"That's what say" said Jim.
''If, instead of dropping on some
thing must be DONE sou would Kindly
inform me from the depth of your wis
dom what that something is =" began
poor Mrs. Fulford, growing shrill and
angry.
well, listen here, Mater" quoth
Howard, sOOthingly. "Im not a man
Of ideas myself, but when [ hear one
dropped by another fellow, if l think
it's worth anything, I've sense enough
TO pick it up. Now, Bangs was saying
the other day"
Lord Bangs is the planet to whom
Howard does moOs, always, in fact,
keeping his face toward him, rs our
moon does 10 us, unless she happens To
have another face on the Other side, but
| can't enter into that.
The FulfordS are all tOadies, but hon
est ones, who scOrn 10 conceal the fact
tUm any one.
"Well, Bangs was saying that all the
successful man-hunters now"
'"rhe what?' chorused his mother
and Jim.
well, match. hunters or mani hun
ters, it's all the same. He says YOU
may go on hunting the species forever
ami do no good. Where was |? 1 wish
you wouldn't stop me for word. On,
1 know! Bangs SAYS that all the sue
cess ul sports-wOmen single out the
particular head of game they meant 10
stall, and then deliherat. ly hunt him
down"
''By Jove, rare ideaw cried jim,
who always admired what his brother
admired, especially if there was a lord
i'm the case. "But how the dickens
could chap like Bsngsw-a chap like
Bangs! This mark you, is very much
behind Bangs back, little unstring-
thirty, and has no girls of any sort TO
marry-n
"My dear Jim," interrupted his elder
brother from the height of his superior
ity, "he's stag"
"A stagm
"Ofeourse, old stupid. He's learned
all about hunting by dint of being
hunted, and he says some of these Lon
don AmaZODs are so deuced clever that
he believes they'll eaten him by sheer
wearing him down. He tells me-
Howard, old man. he says, "if ever
you hear that Pm knocked on the
head-'n
En- ~ gasped poor Mrs. Fulford.
married, mother; married. Married,
or knocked on the head, is AL the same
thing when you talk OF a man; but if a
girl mates pretty decently, why she is
thought to have got prize in life's lot
tery-won a victory in fact. Bangs
says, mother, if ever he marry, may
say-'Ah! poor devil. He couldn't
stand being hunted any more"
Now where should they find stag
for Nilly? That was cabinet question
and required a council of all the Ful-
G,-Sl., ,nol,,I;pur FrionlS
Bangs idea was much applauded,
likewise Towards prodigious sharpness
in picking 1t up.
Cameron might go to the limbo OF
penniless lovers. Nobody carad. He
wasn't stag.
Now for it! On whom were they to
ny their new-found system? Old Full
ford talked q great deal, but all he really
said was that the thing ought to be
simple enough; the girl was cookbook
Bg, as all allowed and he gave her ten
thousand pounds.
AT last it became evident that the
actual marking of the quarry was be-
yOnd the FulfOrdian imagination, and
there was general call upon an old
LaGy Wall-a woman who in her day
had looked up husbands for three plain
iSh Miss Walls with much eleverness -
toiake up the work.
sN'ell,h she said, ~ can't see the
difficulty"
Somuch superiority provoked a muir.
muir of surprised approval. There was
4 silence. Then Mr.. Fulford said:
mo, really; can't you?"
"HSye You ever heard" pursued her
lsdyship, "of Hoist with his own
petsrd?'
No; the Fulfords only know Shake.
speare nom going occasionally to the
EyceOm Theatre, and as they seldom
listtn-tslking great deal, and looking
more at the people than at the stage
their knowledge of our greatest bard is
of the most limited kind.
"Well, then, Caught in his own
trap2'n asked Lady Wall, bringing
down her language to the meanest
capacity with ii-disgusted contempt.
"0h yes, We know that" cried all the
Fulfords, quite proudly. . ~
Then, there you have it," concluded
their councillor. "What say you to my
plaD?'
No, not q Fulford understood her.
She kerry nearly swore. ~r -"
"Dear, DEAR" she burst forth; "yOu