The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-09-20
ETIQUETTE AND COMMON SENSE.
The Relations Between the Sexes Should
Stand ON Proud Equality.

The Relations Between the Sexes Should
Stand ON Proud Equality.
The amount and degree of unmiti-
gated nonsense that occasionally gets
itself spread abroad by and among
sensible people under the disguise of
being etiquette are, to say the least,
somewhat astonishing. This has no
reference to that common sense and
kindness, that genial courtesy and
mutual respect that under the general
title OF good manners" form the minor
morols OF society. Nor does it mean
the arbitrary rules by which society in
particular communities decides to
guide the walk of it's members in mat
tiers OF small Importance. These are
purely arbitrary, are founded on no
particular sentiment of ideas, and vary
widely with different countries and
communities. To be sure, they may
be, and often are, full of shoddy or
sham; their observance is usually in
sisted upon the more strongly the more
arbitrary they are; and the freedom
loving individual may feel their de-
mands to be oppressive and distasteful.
But for all this there is certain neces-
sity of granting obedience and of sub
uniting gracefully to "the conven-
tions."
But aside from these things there
are certain absurd ideas that get con-
fused In some way with this kindly
common sense and these formal rules,
and occasionally get themselves ac-
cepted as portion of that labyrinthine
structure called etiquette. And, by
way of illustration, we clip the follow
ing from an article answering the ques-
tons of several correspondents, as to
what young lady should do under
certain circumstance. Another writes
to ask us if she shonld take q gentle
mans hat and coat when he calls.
Never. Let him take care of those.
Christianity and chivally, modern and
ancient custom make a man the servant
of women. The old form of salutation
used by Sir Walter Raleigh and other
courtiers was always, Your servant,
madam" and it is the prettiest and
most admirable way for man to adj
dress woman in any language"
Now, We submit that the question of
whether or not lady should be con-
scious of a gentleman's hat and coat
when he calls has nothing to do with
the relations between men and women.
1t is something to be amenable to
places and circumstances and individ-
uals And, as for man being the servant
of woman, or "the old forms of saluta-
ton it is all arrant nonsense. They
should stand on a ground of equality,
with mutual respect and admiration
and regard, each gladly rendering to
the other whatever service is in their
power and each receiving with graf
itude. 1t is the service which Kings
and Queens render to each other, not
that which courtiers give to their sover
eigns.
The exaggerated sentiment that fills
such form of address and such IN an
ner of regarding the feminine sex in
reality covers great deal more con-
tempt than it does respect. The more
o man exaggerates and talks about the
exalted respect in which he holds wom-
ankind the less of the real article he
has. A man who falls in with sys-
tenn of etiquette that makes him con-
slider himself "the servant of woman"
may bow low, with hat in hand, and
say: your servant, madam" but the
more he does it the more contempt he
will feel for her, as he ought For can
any manly, self-respecting man abase
himself before another person and see
his hollow homage accepted without
feeling contempt for the one accepting.
Wherefore, we say that the only
proper ground upon which the two
sexes can stand is that ola proud equal
ity, each seeing and reverencing the
good qualities of the other.-Boston
Globe.