The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1883-02-01
Cbistlrs.

f4lAtstAl#4ftA AANN@ tAN "tfA NsAf 500
eaoe e. mmeacs Housekeeping ~iih
whsi !, ihs d.asrsbos beiseen iisn
d alsla au5 sbipwrected sailoff One
elhu u his mA ani the other 70 hm
siat
There u = ai#gussea burglar 10 orid,
Nia H. usea CRY cents worth q chic.
fafau al mas ifam whom lie siols ihiris
rtats
10 saiBs respects The gebsler sci far
sufpas. ~ No ntn. f5f insi~aee, can d.
lta locian vila dozen pias 10 b..
mouth
AA.s lsoos i enis,lel. How 10 sssh
hsip Il on,iis the usssl rteo.gllon,
~ ALTAR to recipes, ibai IL. "firsi caici,
yoar baby
H. tbsse speculative umes even the
poa iasmsr. who osas Gully one share
10 81, pios msy he detected watering
lis sleek
A inan writes 20 an editor for four
dollars. ''becsnse be is 20 terribly short,
and scts ia reply the heariless response
Do A. DO, stand up on chair. "
r Bennys mother has foe voice one
day while she waa singing, after Watching
bet ior whilr. i,a said. Mamma, sin I
got any such = aloe bolse 10 ny fioai
"A Michigan farmer writes to the fac.
uiiy u Yale. what are your terms for .
year, Aud does il cost anything extra II
my son aaats TO learn to read aud write
~ veil ~ ROW boat1'
Tbs reason that almanac makers pub
lish nothing but stale jokes is explained.
People get Disguised after reading one or
two Of them. and turn TO the paien, medi
cine Advertisements Tor relief
Some heartless wretch caught two
cats, tied them by the tails and flung them
into the cellar Of the church. The resi-
den,s u the vicinity heard the noise but
though, 4 was the choir rehcarsing.
"a man ia Springfield, Mo, being in.
yiiod 20 drink. poured out glass OF wins
key. looked at il moment. and then fell
dead. The eofoner's jury brought in .
verdict u. Suicide by procrastination, "
There are 100000 grown people in
this country who can neither read nor
write but when il comes to talking about
The nonsense Of our public school system,
they can make themselves heard half a
mile away
young widow in Brooklyn received
SIS COO insurance on her husbands life,
aud banded il over TO lawyer to invest.
He built him house with il aud is so
mean that be won't even let the widow in
to see how il looks.
Gen, Spinner is fishing down IN Flor.
ida. A joker secretly fastened the sener-
ais signature on his hook the other day,
and when he pulled up he thought he had
caught an eel tied in seventeen bow knots.
This is reliable, il true
An old sharp advertised, "Bookkeep.
ing taught 10 Que lesson; terms, 81" He
got largo class the first night, and when
they were seated aud the dollars rushed in
be said "The whole art OF bookkeeping
hinges on three words--Ncyer lend them
There's one thing ! envy hog for, I"
said SpenceT,on to the barber. He don't
have to be shaved until after DEATH
Some hogs does and some doesn't ie-
piled the artist There's no use arguing
with q barber while he is in power
They don't mince matters down in AL.
ALBANIA young man at Tuscogoe went
% see his lady love the other night and
stayed so late that the girls mother
brought 10 dozen eggs aud asked him to
hatch them for her He left, aud declares
that be will never call again.
An old Methodist preacher going TO
one Of his appointments, met a friend who
was one OF the magistrates Of the county.
who asked him why he did not do as the
Savior did--ride an ass. "Because. said
the divine. ''the people have taken them
all 10 make magistrates Of.
A little girl recently went to visit Der
grandfather 10 the country. She Is fond
OF milk, but firmly refused to drink any
while there, wi,hou, giving any reason.
Niea she returned she was asked: lyon
had Gice milk there 10 drink. didn't your
II guess didn't drink any OF that milkl'
she Indignantly replied. do you now
where grandpa got III saw him squeeze
ltout Of an old cowr'
Ats recent church festival in Nil
Yankee a mau found lonely Cystic 10
his soup and osientatiously held Il upon
bis spoon, thereby inducing others 70 in.
vest in the deceptive fluid. II bias since
lcsn discovered that the man was What
sinful AMI sotilly people call capper.
anil sas employed by the church people
t. pre'eod 70 discover oysters, aud ihus
cutup ihg uuaAfg TIE oyster y op.
posed TO have bcen borrowed for thr occa.
sion.
Az dinner party the little son q the
host anil hostess va allowed TO come 'iosn
~ dessert Having bad What his motAer
considered sniiicicucy Of fruit, be SRs
t,ld that be could not have any more.
uhea 70 the surprise Of every one present
be exclaimed; III yon don give NE some
more. III ielll' Whereupon he was sud-
denly and swiftly removed from The room,
bot be had jass time TO conyulse tbs com,
pany hy shoating: my new ,rousers are
made ca, q mas old bed room cnr,smsl"
What sils this heart Of mipef' u tie
beading u story tia, is going the rounds
A A -.