The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-08-17
WITTICISMS.

feels blue.
Merely an outside matter-the han
die Of a jug.
Admitted to bail-the sailor ordered
into a ] elky boat.
A crane has been captured at Bruins
wick, Ga, with a bill fourteen inches
long. He must keep a summer hotel.
An Ohio man just dead has, accord
ing to the Detroit Free Press, made a
castirou will. Will sighted heirs claim
that the document was forgedP"
She sang II want to be angel" and he
swore that she was one already. To
this she blushingly demurred. Then he
marriedAer. Demurrer sustained.
A wife is called a better half because
a man had better half her than not
half her. p. S. If you don't get on
to this at first you may do so halter
ward.
A whole family in Georgia vert
poisoned by eating freely of ice cream
last week. lmpeeunious young gentle
men will dogwell to paste this where il
will be seen.
1t is thesame old story. Two Illinois
farmers had a dispute about the boun-
dry lines of their farms. Their dispute
Is settled, and so ape the lawyers-on
their farms.
Charles Dudley Warner. says that
August is fy time and irritation time,
twohOrrible Affections. We reach the
conclusion that Mr.. Warner is both old
and bald headed.
"Pepi, how did you get along in
school to day." BADLY, papa; the
teacher gave me a t~hrashing." "Why?
well, he asked me how many teeth a
man bad, and / toldhim a whole mouth
full"
"Can the Old Love" is the title of IA
novel. That's generally the way of IT.
They can the old love as soon as 1t be-
comes the least bit CID and put 1t away
to keep, while something a trife fresh
er is brought out for daily use.
"Statira Jane" said a fond mother
the other morning to her daughter,
did Daniel Johnson kiss you on the
steps last night?' mo. mamma, he
did not" If the fond parent had said
mouth instead Of steps it would have
troubled Jane to reply.
Eight members of the Stone family,
in Tennessee, OF their way to church in
an OK wagon, were run away with by a
yoke of oxen, and tumbled into a creek
without injury. This little spread gave
a local paper a chance to say that was
one of the occasins where no Btone was
left unturned in the effort to hear TIE
gospel.
"Show me an actor and III show you
u low-lived, goddess whelp," said a mem.
Der of the Salvation Army, preaching
in the Grecian theatre, London. a pu.
gllistiC actor strobe forward and an
%nounced himself, as he struck a boxing
attitude. Exactly so" said the revi-
valist; I'll be as good as my word.
Here is the actor shown to me. | am
the low-lived goddess whelp-that is in
the sight of heaven"
Old Col. Smlke, an Austin merchant,
lad instructed his colored cook that she
must not have male company visiting
her. On his return from his store he
was told that she Lad disoheyed this
order, w%hereupon he told her to quit at
once. Oars no fear of me not Leah
in. Oars not money enuff in de state
treasury to make me stay in a house
whar de boss dresses his remarks to a
cullud lady widout fust takin' off his
hat"
The Winterport correspondent of the
Belfast tIreland) Journal relates that
little Josie was accused by her sister of
telling a falsehood. She first denied it,
but afterward said by way of extenu-
alton: well, suppose / did lie; every
body lies but God and George Wash
ingtOn," This same little girl was ask
ed if she sad her prayers. she replied
mo; | have to take Kennedy's medi-
cine. and that's enough without saying
my prayers"
American Journalism: The follow
ing is a sample of the headlines with
which the Cincinnati Times and Staf
%enlivened its telegraphic columns dur
ing the Egyptian campaign. Each
capitalized word represents the begin.
ming of a separate line: "Woeful war
1t lifts aloft its horrid front IN Egg.
pts desert land, And Wolseley's sol,
diers groan and grunt Across the
scorching sand. The turbaned Turk
and CORY Greek IN enmity lock horns
And all the Powers, so to speak, Tread
on each others CONSIST James Ga
zette,
Story Of an umbrella.-During a ire
mendous shower a gentleman entered :
fashionable club, bearing a splendid