Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-08-09

4 y
ago there lived in the lower oil country a
prominent oil producer, who was noto-
riously bad speller. Ina letter, among 9TH
er errors, he spelled water with two It's. A
party of gentlemen were discussing this pc
culiarity in the bar-room Of the Collins
House, Oil City, one evening when the poor
speller himself CHANGED to come in.
"Hello!" said one Of the party, a corpu.-
lent gentleman now remotely connected
with the New York Petroleum Exchange,
we were just talking about you"
SIS that so?" was the reply. "And what
were you saying?"
"Why, some of the boys claim that you
are the worst speller in seventeen States"
"They do? I think can spell about as
we'll as the average producer"
''I'll tell you what I'll do with you," said
the first speaker, "I'l bet the champagne
for the party that you can't spell water"
''All right" replied the producer, and he
proceeded to spell the word "w-a-t-e-r."
''That's the way spell water for money"
he quietly remarked, "but when l spell it
for fun, I sometimes use two t's."
The corpulent gentleman paid for the
wine and the silence became so great that
you could almost hear house fall down.
No DISCOUNT THERE.-A few weeks
since railroad collision on one of the roads
leading out of New York killed, among
others, passenger living in an interior
town. His remains were sent home in
good shape, and few days after the funer-
al the attorney of the road called upon the
widow to effect settlement. She placed
her damages at $4,000.
ooh! that sum is unreasonable" replied
the attorney. "Your husband was nearly
fifty years old?"
"Yes, sir"
"And lame?"
"Yes."
"And his general health was poor:"
''Quite poor"
"And he probably would not have lived
over five years"
probably not, sir"
''Then it seems to me that two or three
thousand dollars would be fair compensa-
tion."
''Two or three thousandw she echoed.
"Why, sir, l courted that man for ten years,
ran after him for ten more, and then had to
chase him down with a shot gun to get him
before preacher. Do you suppose that Pm
going to settle for bare cost of shoe leather
and ammunition !'-WaU Street News.
The FATE OF GEN1Us.-A company out
in Arkansas were telling. of the brilliant
boys they had worshipped as heroes, and
one of the affecting, anecdotes: 81 used
to worship hero at school. He was bril-
liant orator, and wrote pieces for the village
newspaper that challenged the admiration
of the most prominent citizens in the town.
Every one supposed he would be a great
editor or statesman. Well, recently visit
ed the neighborhood, and 1, like you, could
not help but muse over his brilliant prospects
and take sadder view of life" "What
II, Fnr
house yeng" g. mo" S'' What sfN wss he l doing ras
then?" "He wasn't doing anything. He
was dead"
PURE SYMPATHY.-"What have you got
for dinner?" inquired disgusted drummer
of the waiter. The drummer had been in
town twenty-four hours without taking an
order.
.Roast duck, sir"
"Ah! was the duck shot on the wing!"
II guess So"
"Trying to get away from this cussed
place, wasn't he:'
II presume likely enough, sir"
"GOod bird; sagaciouS fowl rdrG 0UtS.
admire his pluck and pity his misfortune.
You may bring me that duck. I'll take
the whole of him. I'll help him along on
the road."-San Francisco Post.
n@ You'll neber marry agin, Susie you
grieve so arter Lick. Was it twicet you
tainted, or free times at de grave?"
"Bless yo' soul, Larry, it was free times
1 tainted an de las time 1 neber like to
KUN to-"
ooh, Susie, you ne6er is gwine to marry
agin is you?"
WBless ye' soul. Frank Dunn axt me bout
dis before my husband died; an l promised,
when he died I'd have him. An b'longs
to de church an won't tell lie."
paF"Ma, if 1 should die and 60 to heaven,
should I wear my moire-antique dress?"
"No, my love we can scarcely suppose we
shall wear the attire of this world in the
nnyt - taThen tell me. ma, how the angels