Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-03-23
Volume xxx mo. Al.
be was trying to catch the railing. He

be was trying to catch the railing. He
looked as though he wanted to muir
der every man on earth, bat it may Ee
lie was tired. Well, pa was paraIyzed
and he and the other deacons rushed
out to pick up the minister and the
first old man, and when they struck
the step they went kiting. Pas feet
somehow slipped backwards, and he
turned q summersault and struck full
length on his back, and one heel was
across the minister's feck, and he slid
down the steps, and the other deacon
fell all over the other three, and pa
swore at them, and it was the worst
0 oking lot Of plous people | ever saw.
| think /if the minister had been in
the woods somew here, where nobody
could have heard him, he would have
used bad language. They all seemed
mad at each other. The hired girl
told ma there was three tramps out on
the sidewalk fighting pa, and ma she
took up the broom and started to help
pa, and | tried to stop ma, cause her
constitution is not very strong, and [
didn't want her to do any flying
trapeze bizness, out | couldn't stop
her, and she won't out with the broom
and towel tied around her head.
Well, | don't know where ma did
strike. but when she came in she said
she had palpitation of the heart, but
that was not the place where she put
the arnica. Q, but she did 60 through
the air like bullet through cheese,
and when she went down the steps Il
bumpity- bump, | felt sorry for ma.
The minister had got so he could set
up on the sidewalk, with his back
against the lower step, when ma came
sliding down, and one OF the heels Of
her CATERS hit the minister in the
hair, and The other foot went right
through between his arm and his side,
and the broom like to push his teeth
down his throat But he was not mad
at MA. As soon as he see it was ma
he said: Why, sister, the wicked
stand in slippery places, don't they
and ma she was mad and SAID for him
to let 60 her stocking, and then pa was
mad and he said, 'look IA here, you sky
pilot, this thing has gone far enough
and then policeman came along and
first be thought they were all drunk,
out he found they were respectable,
and he got chip and scraped the
soap off OF them, and they went home,
and pa and ma they got in the house
some way, and just then the letter-car-
rler came along, bu. he didn't have
any letters for us, and he didn't come
onto the steps, and then l went up
stairs and | said. Pa, don't you think
it is real mean, after you andiI fixed the
soap on the steps for the letter carrier,
he didn' t come on the step at all, and
ia Was scrapt.g the soap Of f his pants
with a piece OF shingle, and the hired
girl was putting liniment on MA, and
heating it in for palpitation of the
heart, and pa said, You dam idiut,
no more of this, or III maui the liver
out Of you, and | asked him if he
didn't think soft soap would help IA
moustache to grow, and he picked up
mas work basket and threw it at my
head as | went down stairs, and cane
over here. Don't you think my pa is
unreasonable to get mad at a little joke
that he planned hisself:?'
The grocery man said he didn't
know, and the boy went out with
pair of skates over his shoulder, and
the grocery man is wondering what
joke the boy will play on him to get
even for the cayenne pepper.