The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10

"Thank you,' replied, and taking his hand, 1 shook it warmly, for thought that he was complimenting the appear ance of my paper, the HeekLy Seream, which, considering the amount of yelling had done, was appropriately named.
 "'When does it come off? the clerk asked.
 "'I don't understand you. When does what come of ?
 "'Why, your marriage.
 "' Marriage" gasped. Marriage to whom@
 '@ To Miss Fuss Simmons, daughter oi -Patsey Simmons, justice of the peace
 Oh, see, you are trying to joke me-
 No, I'm not. Look here, and hand ing me my own paper he pointed to the following paragraph
 The editor of this paper and Miss puss Simmons. the most charming young lady in Bluff county. are engaged to be married. It IS hardly fashionable among gcntles to publish engagements, yet the editor does so, desiring to impress upon the minds of the people of this com munity that he has come here to stay
 ". could not reply, 1 was stupehed, and sat gazing at the paper. arose with difficulty and limped to the office. The printer was not there went back to the hotel and was soon afterwards waited upon by Squire Simmons and his daughter, the homeliest woman ever saw
 ". Mornin', sir; mornin',' said the squire.
 II looked at him, unable to speak a word.
 an see her intended. Hope find yer we'll
 "' Yes, we do so much hope that you are well,' Fuss said, coming up and attempting to put her hand on my arm "s Look out, miss; look out. don't understand the game you are trying to play
 Wy Colonel . Puss exclaimed. Do 1 you pretend not to understand me, and that, too, after coming to see me unbe- knowns to pap, because you thought he didn't like you! Oh. Colonel!' and be- fore could get out of the way. the devilish creature threw her arms around me.
 ".Great goodness, miss, you don't mean to say that l ever met you be- fore|
 Now don't get skeered. for pap promised me that he wouldn't hurt you Pap didn't like you at first, but when went to him and put my head on his shoulder so affec,ionate like, he gave in a, once, didn't you pap!'
 "' Yes, for when my natural flesh and blood loves man 1t makes no difference ef we had ii, each other with mortal weepins, l would fling down my mad spell an take up smile. My good peo- ple,' he continued, to several parties who had entered, yer must 'scuze this tender picture what you are lookin' on at present. My darter, an yer all know what lovin' creeter she is, aR' this editor, the smartest man in this community, has phghted their faith, an at an 'arly day will jine hans an hearts in marriage. Don't say word, editor,' gently showing me back when stepped forward and attempted to speak. Don't say word, for these frien's O mine know what it is to be bash ful like under the influence O devoted love. Not word outen yer, an l want yer ter understan' that if it is yer hearts desire, an yer have so expressed yerself, ter be united at onct. why won't make no kick. l know, gentleosen, that it is hard ter part with young creeter like this. but when she gives her love, the straight an un- scratched ticket O her affections ter a man what is in every way worthy ter be her husband, an my son-in-law, why give in at onct.'
 .' By this time quite crowd had col lected. vas so confused that it was some time before could speak, and even then l felt that my silence had but given sp- proval to the old rascals words. At las, ca,d Nv nawlx- toup1 friends hoDa that you will give me chance to corec, this terrible mistake. pledge you my word that never saw this young lady until to-day. l am not the author of that disgusting engagement notice which ap. pears in my paper to-day, but it is the trickery of scheming printer, the vile tool of this man here who outrages jus tice by masquerading as justice of the