The Labor enquirer., 1883-01-06
Peck,s Bad Boy Again.

you later,,p said the bai boy TO the grocery
man, as heHheld cracker under the faucet
of the syrup keg, and then sat down on a
soap box by the stove and proceeded to make
lunch, while the grocery man charged the
boys father with . gallon of syrup and a
| pound Of crackers. e, .. II
"WhatI do you mean, yon prosane wretch,
talking about meeting me- later in hades,
said the Indignant grocetymah. Il expect to
pass by the hot place where you are sizzling,
and go to the realms of bliss, here there is
one continued round Of happiness, and angels
playing on golden hafps, and singing hymns
of praise. Y !
"Why, pa saysI will surely go to hell, and
[ thought you would probably be there, as it
costs something to get to5heaven, and yon can
get to the other place for nothing Say, you
would be a healthy delegate TO go to heaven
with lot of girl angels, wouldn't you, smell.
ing of frowy butter, as you always do, and
kerosene, and herring, and bar soap, and
cheese, and rotten potatoes. Say, an angel
wouldn't stay on the same street with you,
without holding her handkerchief to her
nose, and you couldn't get in there, anyway,
cause you would want TO pay your entrance
fee out f the store "
"Say, you get out Of here, condemn you.
You are getting sassy. There is no one that
is more free hearted than 1 am" said the
groceryman.
30, give us a siesta. lam onto you bigger
than an elevator. When they had the oyster
sociable at the church, you gave four pounds
of musty crackers with wJrms in, and they
tasted OF kerosene, and when the minister
prayed for those " no had generously con-
tributed 10 the socable, you raised up our
head as though You wanted them all to know
he meant you. If man can get to heaven
on four pounds of musty crackers, done up
in q paper that has been around mackerel
then what's the use Of man being good,
and giving sixteen ounces to the pound?
But, there don't blush and cry. / will use
my influence to get your feet onto the golden
|
got to quit sending those small potatoes to
our house, with few big ones on top of the
basket. I'll tell you how it was that pa told
me l would go to he'll. You see pa has been
reading out of an old basak number Bible, and
ma and me argued with him about new
revls4d edition. We told him that the old
one was all out Of style, and that all the
neighbors had the newest cut in Bibles, with
doIman sleeves and cut in the back, and
they put on style over US, and we could not
1old up our heads in society when 1t was
known that we were wearing the old last
years Bible. Pa kicked against it, but
finally got one. | thought | had as much
right 10 change things in the revised Bible.
as the other fellows had to change the old
one, so | pasted some mottoes and patent
edcine advertisements in it, after the verses.
Pa never reads whole chapter, but reads
verse or two ami SKINS around. Before break
fast the other morning, pa got the new Bible
and started to read the ten commandments,
and some other things The first thing pa
struck was, Verify, say, unto you, try ST,
Jacobs oil for rheumatism Pa looked over
his specs at ma, and then looked at me, but
had my face covered with my hands sort of
pious. Pa said he didn't think it just the
thing to put advertisements in the Bible, but
ma said she didn't know as it was any worse
than to have patent medicine notice next to
Beecher'so sermon in the religious paper. Pa
sighed and turned over few leaves and read,
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours wife,
nor his OK, if you love me as | love you no
knife can cut our love in two That last
part was motto got out of paper of candy.
Pa said that the sentiment was good, but he
didn't think the reyisers mad improved the
old commandments very much. Then pa
TUNED over and read, Take little for the
stomachs sake, and keep bottle of Reeds
Gilt Edge tonic on your side board, and you
can defy malaria, and chiIls and fever Pa
was hot. BE looked at it again, and noticed
that the tonic commandment was on yellow
paper, and the corner curIed up, and pa took
hold of it, and the paste that l stuck it on
with was not good, and it come off, and when
l saw pa lay down the Bible, and put MS
spectacles in the case, and reached for the fire
poker, | knew he was not going to pray, and
looked out the window and yelled dog fight.
and lit out, and and pa followed me as far
as the sidewalk, and it was that morning
when it was so slippery, and pas feet slipped
out from under him, aud he stood on his
neck, and slid around on his ear, and the
special providence of sleet on the sidewalk
saved me. Say, do you believe in special
providence? What was the use of that sleet