Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1883-04-07
IN BED wiTa A coRPsE.
A Joke ON n Well Known CIarks-
VILE Haclkman.

A Joke ON n Well Known CIarks.
willie Haclxman.
We take the following from q
correspondence to the Daily Even
ing Democrat, published at Shelby
vile, Ind. The hero of the story is
well known in Clarksville and the
joke will be much appreciated here.
There are many people in Clarks-
vile who can testify as to the truth
of what is said of Toms enterprise
in his business, but he and the cor
respondent, alone, must vouch
for the yarn about the dead man.
Tommy McCabe drives the drum
mers' bus at Clarksville, Tennessee.
Tommy might be a Frenchman,
but the indications are thai if he
was born in the land of frogs and
dancing-masters, his parents halted
few days to rest in Dublin or Cork
whilst enroute to this country. BE
it said to the credit of Tommy he is
sober-as the word sober goes-and
industrious to a fault. His educa-
tion, so far as Latin and Greek and
the dead languages is concerned,
has been slightly neglected. Yet
he is sufficiently well Nersed in the
classics and algebra in general to
drive as good team Of mules as
"tromps the streets of Clarksville,
do yez moind that now.' When
the regular bus lines put up the
passenger fares to fifty cents each
,x,av, Mr., ~, a. sofd fxr-artx, 9x,n aa,,fs
was enough, and the boys all rail-
lied to his support, and Tommy and
the drummers go hand in hand.
Should one of the latter desire to
call on a country customer, McCabe
is always ready, anil knows where
every crossroads store in the coun-
try is located. Not long siIce
when the boys were out seeking
spring trade Mr.. c. called on
Tommy and the twain started for
the rural districts in the black COW
cred carry-all known to every trav-
eler who ever stopped over night in
Clarksville. The shades of evening
had begun to gather 'ere their desti-
nation was reached. Tired and
weary, wet and cold from their
long journey the pair took few
"draps to kape from catchin' cold,"
as the driver expressed il. Supper
over Tommy sat down by the open
crate to rest, and soon began to
doze. Aroused after awhile by the
landlord he was directed to a room
overhead, to the right as he reached
the top of the stairway. A strang-
er visiting that section a few days
before had died suddenly during
the day, and the corpse, lying on Il
mattras with sheet over it, was in
the room to the left at the head of
the stairway. Tommy started for
his Virtuous couch, sleepy and with
brain none too clear from his po-
tations. Stumbling up the stair
way he turned the wrong way and
went into the room on the left. He
saw a person lying in the bed, but
Tommy's eye-sight was bad and
the light was dim. Quickly strip
ping himself and throwing his
clothes on the back of a chair, Nc
Cabe proposed to WOO the drowsy
God. "Be dad" said Tommy, 81
thought the kiver was purity slim,
to be sure, an the moke was takin
too much room, an / nudged him
to move over, but divil bit did he
move at all. So snugged up close
to his honor and lay as still as a
mouse, thinkifi' my foine gintle-
man would turn over soon and
then / could slip over little in the
bed. But, beggorra, presently
some wilnmin folks Kind o. aisy
like came thripping into the room
wild lighted candle and made
themselves continted in chairs
around next the wall. Now, says
i to myself, this is rale ginteel o.
Mr.. G.. to be after sending these
foine ladies to sit up wild Tommy
but shure I'll jist tell them Pm not
sick at all, at all-and Bridget
might object to their company
should she call this way. And
when turned over to say SO, didn't
the two poortyest cTayturs near the
door give a Comanche kind o. war
whoop and widout stopping to say
good-by, or God bless you, Tommy,
got down the steps four at a jump.
And when ] sat up TO say Good
evenin' ladies, didn't the Tist o.
them rise at once and leave in the
same oogly manner. Turning TO
my partner to AK him what kind
ov people lived in this hootel, divil
word did he say-and looking
over-murther, says ], to myself,
the man is dead-and byes, tell
yez was in that parlor below the
stair, wId all the foine dressed la
dies before they had time to close
the door, and had forgot to make
my toilet. Divil a stitch had on
but the shurt that Bridget made for
me last christmas" "Skeered,
was I-not wink did / shape for
a week." "Och, murther, but the
haythen was could" 1t is almost
impossible to get Tommy to sleep
away from home now, and when
ever @. comes 10 Clarksville Tom
my is little shy of him, as he says
it was "set up job" anyhow.