Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-06-08
HUMOROUS.

-Bootblacks are friendly little fel
lows. They take shine to anybody.
A man in England has been fineC
for biting off the tails of two dogs. H,
must be something of a wag.-Roches
ter Post Erpress.
When woman wants to get rid O.
her husband for an hour, she sends hin
up stairs to get something from the
pocket of her dress.
-''Mr. Isaacs, can you tale me ware
vas the first diamondp" mo, Mr.
Yawcobs; we're vas itP' 'Vy, Noah's
son on de ark; he vas Shem of der fust
water. - Chicago Tribune.
-''Maria,' said Mrs. Parvenu to hel
daughter, ''who is that Mr.. Dude that
the papers have so much to say about:
l must ask your father to bring him to
dinner, for | guess we ought to know
him. ~. Y. Mail.
Lady (to dry-goods clerk: eff you
will cut me small sample of this will
find out from by dressmaker how many
yards | need, and can send for the
goods by the maid" Enfant Terri.
bic; ''Why, mamma, that's Just what
you said in all the other stores"
"A horse at Craigville took fright
at colored man playing a fiddle, and
ran away and smashed a lamp-post.' y
The animal evidently had a good ear
for music, but why he didn't run away
and smash the fiddler is the strangest
part of the incident. The lamp-post
was innocent.-Noristo,cn Heratd
Mrs. Malaprop was heard to re-
mark apropos of the weather: Il can't
see into this Virgins idee. Of course,
Juniper and Satan bein' in pedigree
would be rather like ter git up some
sorter storm, but it don't seem ter me
that the sun and moons being in effigv
would raise any rumpus. Rome On
T. Sentinel
An lrishman who had a pig in his
possession was observed TO adopt the
constant practice of filling it to reple-
ton one day and starving it the next.
On being asked his reason for doing so.
he replied: ''Och, sure, and isn't it that
l like to have bacon with n strake o. fat
and a strake of lean equally, one after
t'other.- Chicago Herald.
An Arkansas boy, writing from col
lege in reply to his fathers letter, said:
$50 you think that | am wasting nv
time in writing little stories for the
local papers, and cite Johnson's saving
that the man who writes except for
money is fool. l shall act upon DR..
Johnson's suggestion and write for
money. Send me fifty dollars ''-Arkar,-
saw IraUeUer.
1t was not a doctor he needed
Lawyer Pullman is an Austin LAWYER
who has great reputation for collect
ing bad DEBTS. If the money can be
got out of man he will get it. 1t was
to this lawyer that little Bob BinckIey
referred when he was requested to run
quick for doctor, as neighbours child
had swallowed a coin. doctor be
blowed, I'll run for Lawyer Pullman;
he'll get the money out of the kid
quicker n dozen doctors. "-Teras
Sittings.
Committee of Solicitat;on-.Is
Mrs. Smith at home?' Mary Ann
Qately landed mo, a'am.' Sec
ond Lady of Committee How un-
fortunate! We wanted to see her on
business. Please tell her so when YOU
hand her these cards" Third Lady
."Have you any idea when she will be
ie?" Mary Ann (who has been drilled
for formalities) Yes, ma am; she
said when she ran out on the piazza as
how she'd come right in again as soon
as she heard the door shut - Chicago
Times.