Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-05-05

That was the name by which he was known
in the banking house of Ducat, Gulden L Ducat.
or at least in that branch Of 1t which did a
thriving business In the great commercial city
of Birchespool. 1t did not require more than
five minutes acquaintance, however, to INFORM the
uninitiated that the apparently complimentary
epithet was bestowed rather from keen sense
of humor on the part of his five fellow
clerks, than on account Of any exceptional
claims to blue blood in the case of Mr. joseph
Smith himself. Even the casual customer.
whose knowledge of Joe was limited to watch
ing his self-satisiied smirk and enormous watch
guard at the other side of the shining mahogany
desk. Or admiriug the emphasis with which he
utilized his moistened thumb in overcoming the
gregarions leaves of his ledger, must have been
struck by the inappropriate epithet To us,
however, who had, SO to say sat at his feet and
marveled at the war Of independence which he
was carrying on against the Queens English-a
guerilla warfare consisting in attacks upon as
pirates; and the cutting off of struggling g's-to
us our fanciful sObriquet was Joke of the first
water. If anything could have enhanced our
enjoyment of 1t, it was the innocent gravity
with which our companion accepted the doubt
full title, and, after one feeble remonstrance
adopted it forever as his own prerogatiye and
right.
The circumstances of that remonstrance de-
serve TO be recorded. Before the arrival of
MI Joseph Smith from the paternal ira ming
stables-his father was successful sporting
tout who had developed into a trainer-orr
office had been a particularly aristocratic one
Welstead, our senior clerk. was a fine, hand
some young fellow of twenty-six, who came of
good Scotch strain. and was occasionally I'M
N q al uCio
extinct EardOm of Stirling; Dullan and Moreby
wereOxfOrd men, well connected and well read;
little Sparkins was the son of a High Church
clergyman; and had some of the best blood of
Maies IN my veins. No wonder then. that our
dignity was hurt by the appearance ola loudly
dressed. scorDutic-lOoking youth, with horse
shoe pm and necktie suggestive of spectrum
analysis, upon the very stool lately vacated by
my old college friend Vernon Hawkins
gentiemanly and quiet of mankind.
For Il few days we cOntented ourselves with
observing the habits and customs of the creature
There was an audacity about his vulgarity, and
happy uncOnsctOusness of all Offense, which
fairly dlsarIned criticism. 1t was not until he
began to address us as ''Old pals" and went the
length OF playing small practical joke upon
little Sparkins, that spirit of resistance began
to stir within our bOsOms, and that Welstead.
as usual. was pushed forward as our mouth
piece.
You see, Smith, he remarked In his most
ianguid tones. ''yOu have been in our office q
comparatively short period. and yet YOU have
taught us many things which were new to u.s.
There is natural buOyancy about your char
acter which points you out as one calculated to
shine in the most select circles. Before your
arrival we had never learned to designate ladies
as 'fillies' nor had we heard of the real gents
whom you mention as having frequented your
fathers establishment. These things interest
and please us. Allow us to show some small
sense OF the honor your society cOnfers upon US,
oy christening you as 'Gentlemanly joe ex-
cusng the liberty we take with your name in
consideration of the ALTERATION"
great part OF this speech must have been
lost upon Mr. Joseph, but never did elaborate
sarcasm fall so utterly flat. Instead OF being
offended, as We had fondly hoped would be the
case, ne burst into an uproarious fit of laugh
ter, and slapped his gathered leg with the ebony
ruler in token of delight. 'Haw! haw" he
roared writhing about on the top OF the high
stool. "Whateverll father say Oh, law, to
think of it! 'Gentlemanly JOe'-eh? You're
right. though; you're right, and not ashamed to
own up. neither. | said when was comm up,
Father says |, I'll teach them a trick or two
and have. haint L? OF course we are all gents
here. for clerks is mostly reckoned such. but it
do make difference when a man has been
Drought In cOntac' with the real thing. You can
call me Gentlemanly Joe. an pleasure but not
as meaning to imply that there is any in this
room not such. though. maybe, not one of you
has seen belted hurl give your father one in
the short ribs and holler out You're deem old
SCOundTel Smith. and one as knows how
many beans make fiye' -
Welstead's face at the idea of his equity cov-
ernor receiving such an attention at the hands of
nooility was so ludcrOus that we all burst into
roar of laughter which ended the first and
last attempt to take rise out of our bucolic
companion. 1t is true that his life was snent
under continual shower of small Jokes and
chaf. and that his new name superseded his old
one, but there was a massive simplicity about
the man. and marvellous power OF converting
the most unpromIsing remarks into cOmpli-
ments, which rendered him very dscOncerting
individual to attack. illusions to his hat, neck
tie, or any other popularity of raiment were
met by his eternal hOrse-laugh, and an earnest
recommendation that we should allow him TO
send downto the country and procure fac SMILES
LOT all ana each OF us. "You hain't got nothin'
know place at 'Ome where you can get your
collars spotted over with fOx's 'eads instead of
ben plain white. which is a poor color at the
best think he imagined 1t was nothing but
want OF money which induced us to refuse to
purchase these and other Injuries, and he was
wont to throw out illusions as to s.it's not
costing US nOthink, while he jingled the loose
coins in his trOuser pockets
Town life did not improve Joseph On the
contrary he deteriOrated. During the first six
months that ne honored the office with his pres
ence he not only lost none Of the traits which he
had brought with him from his fathers stables
but he grated upon them everything which ia
Objectionable In the city snob. The premonitory
symptoms were suspicious waxiness of the
half dozen hairs which adorned his upper lin.
and the appearance of large diamond ring
with a greenish and vitreous hue. His next
venture was an eye glass, and he finally launched
forth into light ulster, decorated with large
black check. which gave him the appearance of
being inside cage, with his head projecting at
one end and his feet at the other ''It's proper
thing for gent to wear, he remarked ''When
you see get-up like this you know at glance
who's a cad and who ain't"-a sentiment which
we all very cordially endorsed
In spite OF all these peculiarties we learned
not only to tolerete the Gentleman but even to
like him. Indeed, We hardly knew how strong
this feeling was until he betoOk himself into the
country on fortnight leave. carrying with him
ulster. eye-glass, ring and everything else which
was calculated to impress the rustics and stamp
him as the natural associate of the "belted
huri He left quite vacancy behind him.
There was dead level Of equality about the
I'VE OF us which deprived life of all its pGuancy.
Even Westead. who had disliked him from the
first, was iain to confess that he was good fun
and that he wished him back After all. if his
laugh was Obtrusive, it was hearty. and his
quaint. vulgar face had sincerity and good ma
ture stamped upon every line OF it, 1t was with
unaffected pleasure that we heard a loud view
h1lIna m tha or