davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24
BRIC-A-BRAG CHINA.
HARVARD LAMpooE.

Miss Clio Jones was TWEEN ty-thre,
And wonderful at repartee:
In all her life, her parents say,
She never gave herself away.
Young Tongo Yangste Chang Chaw
From Pekin came to study law
at Harvard,s University;
He, too, was great at repartee.
Miss Clio Jones had often said
She knew that she should die unved;
Sne ne'er had seen fellow smart
Enough to captivate her heart.
Young Tongo Yangste Chang Chaw
Had vowed to die bachelor;
There are no clever girls" said he;
81 ne'et will marry Chinee."
They met and loyed amid the hum
And splendor of kettle drum;
A tawny skin to persons clever
Can make no difference whatever.
"oh, Clio. do yon mind my shade ?''
Said he. "My Tongo," Iisped the maid
You are snowdrop to Othello."
All Tongo was lucky fellow.
40 tolt HST AOF6 ran OliO Jones,
OF her mamma she made no bones;
Her pa replied that he'd be d
II she should marry Chinee.
She shrieked, she sobbed, she stormAd, she
blew;
She raved about his lovely queue:
"0h, boil il down u her father said:
IA Chinaman you shall not wed"
Then Clio Jones became emphatic;
Her father locked her in the the attic;
And left horsewhip in the hall,
In hopes that Tongo Chaw would call.
Oh, gentle friends. my tale is done;
Poor Clio Jones became nun,
And clever Tongo did not marry,
But died, instead, by hari-kari.
The moral is that it is never
Advisable to be too clever;
If Clio had not been, you see,
She might have wed with you or me.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24
Thoughts About Pottery.

Verify the potter hath power over the
clay. Therefore the clay is the pot a
Ergo, ,potest. Refined and scholarly joke.
This style for dollar. For two dollars
an explanation of this superlative Joke
and the Hawkeye for one year, will be
sent to any part of the United States or
Canada.
Pottery is the Oldest industry in the
world. Adam was made of clay. But
he acted as though he was only half
baked. His son did the first kiln in the
country
The potter works in the mud, hence
we admire his work. His life is one long
act OF murder, but he is never hanged for
it, though sometimes he IS broken at the
wheel.
All his work, however good, goes to
the fire. What he bakes you cannot eat,
although you eat what the other baker
sets on it.
The potter is an aristccrat by nature,
and always belongs to set. 10 several
sets in fact.
He is inpedendent, and urns his own
living.
He is base ball star, and makes bet
ter pitcher than the 'sonly Nolan
he IS no deacon, but ne passes the
plate. A rigid temperance man, he
is fond of his bowl. And he always
makes it 60 around, too.
There never was but one blind potter,
and he did not stay along, for he made
cup, and saw, sir.
He is always hopeful, for it is his ma
turo to look cup.
He is generous fellow, and what is
his is ewers.
He believes in human equality, and
thinks the law should make claymen the
equal of the clergy.
''Who breaks, pays" must have been
originated by the potter. Although in
these perilous times it is more likely to
read "Who pays, breaks"
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24

Book AND Music BUYERs:-Send to Wiley B
Allen, 153 Third street, Portland, for any book
or music published. Orders by mail filed
promptly. The "Musical Pastime," monthly
journal of music, SO cts. year. Send stamp for
big catalogue of music.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24

There is considerable difference be-
tween doctors and lawyers handling q
case. The more lawyers there are in a
case, the longer the case will last. but
the more doctors there are IN q case. the
shorter work they make of ii.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24
NEW YORK IEWELRY MANUF'G CO.,
$1,000 REWARD
WILL BE PAID TO ANY PERSON pRoDUC-
w ing more effectual remedy than
Or. Knck3S Sure GIrra for. iiafarrh

w ing more effectual remedy than -
DIR. Keck'S Sure Cure for Catarrh.
Which has stood the test for fourteen years Phys;
clans, Druggists, and all who have used and thor
ougny tested It, pronounce it for the cure of
IL, price 81. ee o
DIR. Keck thoroughly understands, and is eminently
successful in the treatment of all chronic arl0 d n
cnis diseases OF both sexes and all ages having
made specially OF their treatment for fourteen wears
He treats Cancer without using the knife His favor
Le prescription Is furnished to idy patients Free
NO lady should be without it. Young middle aged or
old, male or female insanity or life of suffering
physician who understands Is competent to treat
your case Waste no more time nor money with in-
competent physicians. All Allcommunicatinns attended
70 with dispatch, and are strictly confidential Medi
caes sent TO any part OF the country Circulars test
monals, ana list OF printed questions furnished on
application. CONSULTATION FREE Tnclose
atnree-cent stamp for list and address DIR JAME.S
kECk NO. iSS First street, Portland. Or.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24

+. G. Abell, the gold medal photographer of
Portland, has lately made some of the best photo
graphs of prominent peonle ever produced in
Oregon. His pictures of Miss Bessie Louise King
are the best she has ever had. Abel takes no
second place in his art works.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24

The Chapman Sisters, Miss Conchita, Leo
Brothers and hosts of new talent at the Elite
theater in Portland, the only first class variety
theater in Oregon.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24

siayen's Yosemite Cherry ToOin Paste
An aromatic combination for the preservation
of the teeth and gums. It is far superior to any
preparation of its kind in the market. In lar se
by all druggists. Hodge, Davis Il Co., whole
sale agents, Portland, Oregon.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24

WE HAVE NOW on HAND AT THE
OREGON SEED DEPOT

The largest stock Of seeds ever held by one firm
north Of San francisco, which Will be sold
able figures consisting OF Grass. Vegetable. Flower
reeds, etc etc. Agents for s.Impefat Egg Foud =,
also for Wickers1anl's hone Phosphates. Send for
catalogue: free all applicants. Address,
MILLER BR 1S-,
2Q1 Second Street Pnrftand
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24

TURKISH RUas.-Send to John B. Garrison,
187 Third street Portland, for catalogues OF le-
signs
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24
OREGDa BLOOD PURIFIER.
EYE & EAR INFIRMARY
SANiTkRInM or HOME EnR The SICK

Macs~s.sm Road, bet. Porter and Wood SITS, ,
Soisth fos tlasnd, Or.
Dr. ilkingtou late Professor of Eye & Ear Diseases
In the Medical Department OF Willamette University
has erected fine building. beautiful elevation III
aate patients suiering from all discusses of the EYE
EAR or THROAT. Aiso will pay special attention 10
persons laborng under Chronic Nervous affections
and to diseases peculiar women. and receive lim
ted number OF cases expecting confinement.
The intention is to provide Home for such cases
with all the best hygienc agencies combined with the
best medical skill to be had IN the metropolis.
Consulting ply sican and surgeon DIR. Philip Harvey
Prof OF diseases OF women and children in the medical
department Willamette University.
Also Dr j. ~ f. Browne, Prof. of Physiology med.
dept. Willamette University.
For any amount of references and circular, address
DEs. j. Il. pILKTNGTON,
Cor. st and Washington Sts.. Portland, Or.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24

There is, according to an exchange, q
custom prevailing among the inhabit-
ants of the Sandeman Island. which may
throw light upon the civilized use of
wedding cake. When q native girl,
whose exceptional beauty has brought
her many suitors, is Knocked down and
carried off by her accepted suitor, the
welded pair, within forty y-eight hours of
the wedding. send cup of poison, dis
titled form the hulahula tree, to each
and every one of the brides former adj
mirers. If any recipient feels that he
cannot become reconciled to the mar
riage. he drinks the poison and dies; but
if he decides that he will survive the loss
of his intended wife, he throws away the
poison and feels bound in honor never TO
show the slightest sign of disappoint-
ment. By this admirable system the
husband is spared the pangs Of jealousy,
and is able to live on friendly terms With
the surviving admirers OF his wife.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24
BE Reasonable With the R ch.

rich man cannot bestow all his riches
and still be wealthy. s'He cannot eat
his cake and have his cake" There is
one thug that gives rich people the rep
utation Of being stingy, that they are not
to blame for. They dare not give much
money to charitable purposes, for fear
they will be overrun with applicants. It
is singular thing, but if Vanderbilt
should give away hundred thousand
dollars in charity. he would not be able
to get into his own house or Office with
out running over dozens of people with
subscription papers and schemes. If
Gould should give away half million
dollars in charity, his life would become
a burden to him from the focks of hon
est people and dead beats that would
haunt him. Rich men prefer to give
money through other parties. quietly
and unknown, and go through life looked
upon as stingy, rather than place them
selves in position to be annoyed 10
death by applications. The most Of the
rich men of this country, who are looked
upon as very hoggish, give away large
quantities of money on the sly.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24

DON'T BUY BOSS BOOTS UNLESS
YOU WANT THE BEST. SEE THAT
OUR NAME rs ON EVERY PAIR.
AKIN. SELLING & co.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24
q Sc r o Sc PILLS.
DR.. SPIN NEY.
No. II Kearny street. 8. r..
Treats aI Chronic and Special Diseases.
YOUNG MEN

WHO MAY BE SUFFERING FROM THE EFF.
w fects of youthful foiiies indscretion wifi do
well to avail themselves Of this, the greatest boon
ever laid at the altar Of suffering humanity. DIR
SPINNEY viii guarantee to forfeit $500 for es cry
case OF Seminal Weakness or private diseases Of any
cure.
MIDDLE-AGED MEN.
There at the age Of thirty to sixty who ara
troubled with too frequent evaeuations of the bladder
often accompanied BY sisht smarting or burning
sensation and weakening of the system In manner
the patient cannot account for. On examining the
urinary deposits ropy sediment viii often be found
and sometimes small particles of abumer will appear.
changing to dark and torpid appearance There ars
many who die OF this difficulty ,ignorant of the
Dr. s. will guarantee perfect cure IN all such cases.
and healthy restoration ef the genitor urinary
gans.
Office Hours-lo to and etos sundays from 10 10
and advice. s5.
Call or adore DR. sPINNEY d CO..
No. ii Kaaray street, San Francisco, Cal
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-24

Take wm. Plumbers Oregon Blood Purifier.
New-York tribune., 1883-11-04
FRAUDS BY PENSION AGENTS.
A LEGAL QUESTION SUBMITTED TO THE ATTORNEY
GENERAL.

WASHINGTON, Nov. 3.-The following com
muncaton concerning the investigation Of frauds com.
mitted by pension attorneys sent to the Attor
ney-Ganeral by Secretary Teller:
am In receipt OF communication from George b.
COrkhl esq United States Attorney for the District OF
Columbia, In reference 90 alleged frauds committed by
attorneys and agents upon persons de-r0us OF making
which he staes that he viii need the assistance of the
fehsio once IN the investigation which hc proposes 70
nuke, ana requests mat VIII direct the Commissioner OF
Pensions "to detail examiner to report
to him for temporary service, with authority
TO investigate oil the claims In connection with which
charges arc made against attorneys. The offences OF
which these attorneys said TO DC guilty uOt suoh
am IN ormed as can properly be considered Offences
statutory or otherwise, against the United states, except
in 10 lar rs they are committed within the District Of
SolumPn END theTcIolc mus necessarily Oe prosecuted
by lhe United states Attorney In the name of the United
l. violated By those charged with obtaining money fraud
ulcuuy from applicants pr PENSIONS unless they nave
ccipt OF Mr.. Corlhins letter referred 70 the Coums-
tontr" fssious Tor an expression Of his views with
regard to That portion OF tho HslrctAtCmeys letter
wnich requests detail or special examiner TO assist in
the mvesu cation OI these cases, the Commissioner re-
amended by net of july 25, 1882
ON examination Of tue section amended, It Will no
noticed Ht tnC Commissioner O Pensions bas authority
10 dc clerks or persons employed his Office only for
specific purposes namely; 80 make special examinations
pending 0uudcatsd and TO aid in the prosecution Of
any parry appearing ~ examination tO be guilty Of fraud
in lhc pIcacntauOn ~ III procuring fhe allowance OF
claus Ihc charges included in Ar COrkhils letter do
nuL come within TINS descrp0n; therefore, IL TO
ucnd regret that All Onced 10 reach this conclusion
that the dclull asAed Tor CanGt he made, would how
submit The question tor your consideration I'm order
that, you Il different opinion, may myself
accordingly For some months the Commissioners OF Pen
ios under my directions has been investigating far
hc ad authority under the law the COnduct ~ business by
lhc numerous pension attorneys lnlOugGOJ the country
which has resulted H. the SUSPENSION and dsDarUCnS Of
many Of them practice IL Is also true that prior tO
The periOl OF which speak, STRENUOUS Efforts had been
made 10 protect all those entitled to pensions as well IA
the government aigd sacly say VAIN general sue
antiy to sV out h law rrms thi4 matter anI TO
- a., }, %
persecution OF those persons VINO have committed JCnccs
Hgist the pension laws guilty OF other statutory
or common law Oitucr-.
New-York tribune., 1883-11-04
TIE COURTS.
A MOTHER ASKS FOR HER ADOPTED BOY.
HIS FosTER-PAREETs REFUSE TO RETURN HIM
TIIKIR ACTION SUSTAINED.

Andrew Holman, the proprietor of the Svea
Hotel in this city, in May, 1884, received into his house
family OF swedes named Anderson who had just come
from the old country. The next day Mr. Anderson mys
teOusy disappeared and his wife has heard from
him since He had In his possession whatever property
the family owned and Mrs. Anderson was left penness
with two little children, a girl and o boy. Mr. HOLMAN
took much interest In the case endeayored to ma the
missing man. secured situation for Mrs Anderson ana
took care of tho boy, who then five years OF age un
Mrs Anderson able 10 DO This arrangement was
continued for several months, Mrs Anderson ON each
visit the hotel praying that the boy might stl DC
allowed 10 remain where no was.
In August 1881, Mr.. and Mrs. Holman who had be-
come much attached the handsome and intelligent lad
told tho mother that they kept the boy any longer they
wished TO adopt him legally Mira Anderson, after con
deraoH, assentod to this, and lawyer was employed
TO take the necessary steps Deeds we're sgued In when
Mr Anderson gave up all OF her mothers claim and all
right of custody 10 the child and the HOlmans agreed to
the duties and responsibilities Of parents to IT,
The lawyer however aid 90 before the proper cOurt
and have an order for the adoption made by the Judge
The boy has since remained with his fostcrparents
few months a.o Mrs. Anderson began habeas corpus
proceedings in the Supreme Court tn regain possession OF
the child She asserted that che did not know the con
tents Of The docI when signed it. Mr.. and MIS-. Io
man testified to tho translation Of every part Of 20 Mrs
Anderson in Swedish, &s well 9s tho reading OF OF II @ ~
English before lGr Ihe lawyer VINO drew Ce "',r I o
bad since died Otnsr evidence was also given
before James J. NCaS the referee appointed n the
to hog that she was not able properly 10 for the
child, and proper perSn u have control OF n an
thai the HOllmans were peSms OF wealth and standing.
who were giving the hoy educational and other alvn-
tagcs Tho was nrrued before Justice DoIohNe IN Ibe
Supreme Court Thursday 1t wac conendcd on @ Mrs.
AndcraOus hchaf that tho statute OF 1873 not having
hcCn strictly compiled with The deed was Of no effect
On the other side II w3s urged that although thc hoy
would bound by the decd, and It did not constitute
legal adoption" the mother was bound by H. AID was
CstOppcd nkng any action n COntrayenUn OF D..
The Mr. Holman SAID that the iOstcrpareu7
We're willing that the JUhcr should visit the hoy at any
time Yesterday Justice DOHnhuc gave decision holding
that Mr. aud Mrs iOllnan we're cnutcdt0 retan ic cds
tdy Of the child Ne mother being allowed to Vi7't IT,
William H. Rooney appeared FOR Mrs. Anderson; Cor
Dcus A. Runhc and Henry w. StckCtJ for Mr.. and Mis-.
HOLMAN.
New-York tribune., 1883-11-04
CLOSING PRICES or PHILADELPHIA STOCKS
Rsporled bn LOHS II. DAVE s. Co, II WGLtst
.
SATURDAY. N0Y. 3-P. ".

SAIURDAIt NOV. Ut, ",
To-day's stock market was little more than per-
sonal affair First prices not materially differ
ent from yesterdays last figures; more were down
fraction than were up. Everything indicated o
dull day. The threatened monotOny how
ever, was relieved by the late large opera
tions-both purchases and sales-Of a single
trader. So there were plenty Of fluctuations and a
final closing at figures that generally are higher
than at yesterdays end. Special attention was
given to Northwestern, st. Paul, Della
ware, Laclawanna, Western, and Louisville
and Nashville, all of which closed high
er-li to 81 per cent-than last evening.
Taking the market as q whole, however, it was
dull
Government bonds were dull and the market was
without feature; the final bids show an advance
of Is for the 4l2s and decline of ls for the 3s
Annexed are the closing quotations:
New-York tribune., 1883-11-04

hoped experiments are already in pc1ess t2r
ing the most suitable rfng and prGjecties -.e Ios
thus far obtained fair and encourage the more s
with service protcCtiles good deSree Oh &cut"'
may be realized from q muEnel0ading rl0ed mortar ~
recommended that the conversion OF tenlnch snooh
bores into muzze-lOadng eighinch rhes be eonthuu.
The results OF trials show that the eghlnen re hs
sufficient power 10 penetrate wrought IRON ao vis ~
inches thick at 1000 yards, and this VIII lncude nat
more than onehalf OK tho armored vessels 0i Ie
For places where the depth OF water VIII Oiny auI'
vessels OF light draught and Of comparatively thln afo
and for secondary positions In more Important places
this gun viii fulfil oil the conditions OF gOOd deehee
IL IN alsO recommended to utilize our ouO lolncn
smOoth-bOre guns, by supplying the carriages VIII Dy
dTaulo buffers TO absorb the recOi and thus ehie us 70
use the heaviest charges The proecte energy OF tns
gun has heen largely ncreased and renders not o @
hcent for secondary PURPOSES but very IOIniaaple
weapon even in most Important harbOrs. Ine guh
Foundry Board has visited the principal steel ana rCn
works In this country, and the great steel works and gun
factories OF Europe. It is hoped that VIII be aolc t
submit TO Congress such strong and fuli report ana
make saeh definite Iecommendaons tnaC ITSgsS % f % e
be able to take prompJ action toward providing 0I e
oOuDtrys great want In suitable facilities and plant IOr
the manufacture OF heavy ordnance.
Ina chapter on the militia the Chief OF ordnance re-
marks that substantial encouragement should he gwen 70
the formation OF volunteer organizations IN every state
district and city by liberal appropriations mo1e
by Congress to sgppy the arm arms orISande Ig9P
stores. well digested system of organization and
proper recognition OF successful efforts In enforcing strict
discipline and perfect drill would go far TO keep such
organizations IN heart and I'm the confidence OF the
country The Chief Of Ordnance strongly recommends
the passage of bin similar in its provisions to the bill
o. 1856 reported FROM the Senate Committee on Military
Affairs during the last Congress
The report concludes with recommendation that the
expesS OF testing ron steel and other materials Tor IN
dsTia purposes by the United States testing mine at
the WatertOwn Arsenal be borne by the United states
The CHIEF Of Ordnance s Of opinion that all that should
be required OF the Society OF Civil Engnears is the pre-
p3ratln OF programme for series Of tests, the purchase
and preparation OF material and the making of the tests
10 nc pad out OF moneys appropriated by Congress.
New-York tribune., 1883-11-04
civil, SOCFS

Judge 0Gorman granted an order yesterday
in the suit OF William H. Fioi against the Northern Pr
cifo Railroad Company, TO show cause, on November 9,
why the defendants should not exhibit 70 The attorneys
The plaintiff Tie transfer books Df the preferred stock
m the conn any, and other bgUk containing their names
and addresses.
Mrs. Magarct J. Graham has begun suit in
the Superior Court FOR $4,000 damagca against C.
SBa!nman, grocer doing bisiness NJ Onshundrcdand'
eigrCut-ft- pHd TLirlayr The plaintiff alleges that on
September B. 1888 while passing the grocery, she clipped
upon a bcctlaaf and fcL She was then, she assCrts
about 20 bcc0TIc mother and in cJIs'qucH"c of the f
The child stbOrD, while che herself received severe
internal injuries.
The November term of the Court of Oyer and
Terminer viii be opened Tomorrow Chief Justice Davis
presiding. Besides other important transferred from
General Sessions, that OF Wam Porter for the alleged
mj.rder John Walsh Shang Draper'5 place viii he
one special Grand Jury VIII be in to iuyc,tl
gate The charges OF frnd in the Water Bureau Df the De-
p2rtIncnt Of Public Works.
New-York tribune., 1883-11-04
A NEW STEERING APPARATUS.

A novel steering apparatus 10 10 be placed in the
United States tug Nina. The apparatus is the m.
venton of J.J Kunstadter, an Hungarian, and II
has been used with success in Europe The shaft OF
the propeller s carried through the rudder post and
there by means of universal joint is connected
with a shaft running through tho Tudder and
having at its end supplementary screw The uni,
yersai Joint allows the rudder 10 move freely and
vet establishes perfect connection between the
main and tho supplementary screws. lt will be
readily seen that when the h m is put to port or to
staTboard the driving power of the supplementary
screw is brought into play to turn the vessel The
vessel is thus turned quickly in q small space In
eases where there is danger of collision and the
engines are reversed the vessel can be driven back
ward and completely out of her course in exceed
ingly short space of time, as experiments have
shown,
New-York tribune., 1883-11-04

4 well-known State official of Arkansas,
and who regret 10 say, Is known "whskey soak -
wls bitten by Irishman's dog the other day You
ought to be Kicked all this town for allowing that
dog 10 bite me- I'll go and get gun and Kill him" Did
the dog take how'd ave ye, sOrP :" Take hold of ME
Why he's ohewed one Of my legs nearly or" "Wall ye
naden put yersf tO the thrOuble shOotln him, sOr
for his brother pizened wild whiskey, an don't
think that he Will live tn nolght, sOr"- Arkansaw
Traveller.
GEORGE lV. AND THE DUKE or WELLINGTON
The Duke was a better cOuTtier and we may add q
finer gentleman than Mr.. MollOy makes him out to
be. When the King, after describing, as he some
timos allowed himself 10 do, how he led the British
cavalry at Waterloo, appealed 10 him as q witness,
with a Didn't |, ArthurI the great general bowed
politely and answered, 60 have often heard your
Majesty say sol"