The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1883-11-01
A Witty Speech.

Colorado, closed on the Doth Of September.
Among the Commissioners representing
Arizona, was Douglas Gray, jr., son Of II.
Juette Gray, ESQ.,. of this county. From
the Denver Tribune, of September 3Oth in
which we find Mr.. Gray's address, we no
tice that the Exposition was not what was
expected, and that paper denounces the
whole thing as areal estate speculation and
fraud. 4
The Commissioners from Arizona were
so dissatisfied with their accommodations
at the Exposition that they determined to
leaveiand proceeded to box up, their speci-
mems of the products of Arizona, consist
ing largely of valuable specimens Of gold
quartz and other minerals, with the view
of taking them to the exhibition at Gin
cinnati OF Louisville, The managers of
the Exposition at once got out an in
!, junction preventing the removal of the
Arizona specimens.
On the Goth, at,the wind-up Of the Den
vel Exposition, a banquet was given by
the managers of the Exposition to the ex-
hibitors, which the Tribune denominates
as "a wake over the corpse of the dead Ex-
position" At this banquet toast to Ar
iona was proposed and Douglass Gray
called upon to respond, which he did in
the following witty style:
whatever else may be thought in Ari-
IONA of this National Mining and Indus
trial Exposition and Association, it's &C
ton on this occasion in toasting Arizona
and inviting me to respond to the toast,
will be regarded as the monumental eX
hibition of gall Of the nineteenth century.
| Misses Imagine banquet given by the
Macedonians to celebrate the battle of
Keroneo, and Demosthenesj invited to be
present and respond..t to the toast .ssof 'Our
Victory Over the Greeks Imagine Oh
liver Cromwell's troops holding jamboree
over the battle of Nasty and asking King
Charles to be present and reply to the
toast of :sThe Downfall of Kings I'M
agine Fourth of July celebration in Bos-
ton, with CORVALLIS as a guest and ex-
pected to make speech in answer to the
sentiment of 1.-THE Yorktown Surrender"
Imagine grand dinner of the purest and
best members of the Republican party in
Denver, and a toast given to ''HiH and
Harmony ''-response by 10 Chaffee. I'M
agine Jesse James expecting the people Of
Missouri to vote for him for State Treas
urer. Imagine a bunko steerer. request
ing his victim to give him certificate of
good moral character. Imagine all these
things, and good many more, and you
have some faint idea of the emotions which
struggled for utterance in my breast, at
being called upon to utter in behalf of both
Arizona and myself words that will COM
fort and cheer and delight the last hours
of this Denver Exposition. Surely moth
ing in the life of the Exposition becomes
it like the leaving of it.
There is an old Latin motto which tells
us to Speak nothing but good of the
dead, - and I shall not violate the proprie
ties and mar the harmony of this occasion,
by speaking unkindly Of an association
which is about-thank God-to pass in its
corporate checks but to expect me to in
dulge.in
THE LANGUAGE OF EULOGY
would be to expect something more than
Territorial human nature can fulfill. do
not feel as badly as did a few weeks ago.
| feel rather as the last Israehte did over
in Egypt few thousand years ago, when
his smarting recollection of his uncom-
pensated labors around Pharaoh's brick
yard, was ameliorated by the fact that the
King, now that he could not hold him any
longer, was about to let him go. | have no
sentiments of enmity toward the EXPOSE
ton OF it's officers, for the Good Book tells
us to love those who prosecute us and allow
our hearts to go out to those who despite
fully use us. And if obedience to the com
mands of the Bible will bring u substantial
reward in the sweet bye and bye, am sure
that my conduct in loving the Denver Elk
position will secure me a front seat, first
class harp, and leading sopranoship in the
choir
So far as achieving the objects which
brought me to Denver are concerned,
fatter myself that I have made a shining
success. 1 came here at my own cost, as
one of the representatives of the miners
of Arizona, to advertise the magnificent
mining resources of that wonderful Ter
ritory, and have not failed. take this
public occasion to return my thanks to the
officers of this Exposition for their valua-
BILE assistance to that end. What they have
failed to do in some directions they have
more than accomplished in others. They
could not furnish the Arizona Commits
sioners place of exhibition at OIL near Den
yer, but they did provide one within
reasonable distance of Pueblo. They could
not induce anybody to come out here to look
at the Arizona ores and behold how rich and
how beautiful they were, but by trying to
keep us here, against our will, they adver-
tised those ores and their attractiveness
from one end of the country to the other.
Nor has the kind act of the Exposition
managers in this particular been altogether
unfruitful to them. Before the Arizona
Commissioners started in to box these ores,
nobody at all came to the Exposition, but
the prospect of q row brought several hun
bred people here the next day, and if the
Exposition could only have kept up its
lick, and brought a few more suits for in
junction, and damage, and mandamus, and
quo warranto, and arson, and breach of
promise, and murder. in the first degree
against lis, think the gate money might,
in the course of time, have reached a sum
large enough
TO PAY OFF THE BAND,
which has SO often enlivened and broken
up the lonesomeness and solitude here
abouts. don't regret the $500 we paid
Tom Fitch to move for dissolution of in
junction, and don't believe he regrets it.
There is only one thing regret about the
decision in that case, and that is that it
could not have been made by Judge Hoar,
of Massachusetts. If, as Ben Butler is
credited with saying, Judge Hoar has al