The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-10
HIS PA JOKES HIM.
EY.G GEO. W. PECK.

What on earth Is that you have got on your upper lip said the grocery man to the bad boy, as he came in and began to peel rutabaga, and his upper lip hung down over his teeth, and was cov- cred with something that looked like shoemakers wax" You look as though you had been digging potatoes with your nose."
 70, that's some of pas darn smart ness asked him if he knew anything that would make boy moustachc grow, and he told,me the best thing he ever tried was tar, and for me to rub it on thick when l went to bed, and wash 1t of in the morning. Iput it on last night, and by gosh can't wash il of. Pa told me all had to do was to use securing brick. and Ii would come etf, and l used the brick, and 1t took the skin of. and the tar is there yet, and say, does my lip look very bad"
 The groceryinan told him il was the worst looking lip he ever saw. but he could cure il by rubbing little cayenne pepper m the tar. He said the tar would neutralize the pepper, and the pepper would loosen the tar. and act IS a cooling lotion co the iacefatcd lip. The boy went to Can of pepper behind the counter and stuck his finger in and rubbed a lot of it on his lip. and then his hair began to raise, and he began 10 cry, and rushed to the water-pail and ran hls face into the water to wash oii' the pepper. The grocery man laughed. and when the boy had go, the pepper washed oil. and had resumed his rutabaga, he said:
 That seals your fate No man ever tnfes with the feelings of the bold buc- oanneer of the Spanish main. without liv- ing to rue it. will lay for you, old man. and don't you forge, il. Ia thought he was smart when he got me to put tar on my lip. 10 bring my moustache out. and to-day he lays on bed of pain. and to- morrow your turn will come. You will regret that you did no, get down on your knees and beg my pardon. You will be sorry that you did not prescribe cold cream for my bruised lip, instead of cay enne pepper. Beware. you base twelve ounce to the pound hucksier, you gimlet eyed seller Of dog sausage. you sanded sugar idiot, you small potato three card monte slcight of hand rotten egg hend. you william that sells smoked sturgeon and dogfish for smoked halibut. The avenger IS on your track"
 Look here, young man, don't you threaten me, or will take you by the car and walk you through green fields, and beside still waters. to the front door, and kick your pistol pocket clear around so you can wear 1t for a watch pocket in your vest No boy can frighten me, by rimus. But tell me, how did you get even with your pa!"
 Well, give me glass of cider and we will be fncads, and l will tell you. Thanks. Ccsh, but that cider is made out of mouldy dried apples and sewer water" and he took . handful of layer raisins of the top of box to take the taste out of his mouth. and while the grocer charged peck of rutAbagas, . gallon of cider and two pounds of rzisins to the boys pa, the boy proceeded: You see. pa likes joke the best of any man you ever saw, If II Is on somebody else, bat he kicks like . steer when it is on him. l asked him this morning if it wouldn't be good joke to put some soft soap on the front step, SO the letter cAr- rier would slip up and spill hissell, ard pa said it would be elegant Pais dem ocrat. and he thinks that anything tha, will make it unpleasant for republican office-holders, is legitimate, and he ea- cosraged me to paraiyze the leffer-carrier. The ietter-cArrieS is as old a man . pa, and didn't xanf to humiliate him, but just wanted pa to give his consent 70 he couldn't kick if he got caught in his own trap You see? Well, this morn ing the minister and two of the deacons called on pa to have q talk with hum about his actions in church, on two or three occasions, when he pulled out the pack of cards with his handkerchief, and played the music box. and they had