Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1883-06-29
4aiseeIlasusns.
Hrs UNCLE CAUSES HrH TO FALL PROM
GRAcE-TREAcHERou Red STATS
THAT CREATE DISTURBANCE

visit" said the grocery man 10 the nan
boy II suppose you have been having
. high old time. There is nothing that
does man more good than to have nice
visit with good uncle. and hear him tell
about old times. when he and the boys
father were boys together"
We'll. don't know about it. !" said the
boy as he took stick Of maearoni and
began 70 pillow paper wads through it al a
woodsawyer who was fling a saw
outside the door. when boy who has
got his pins all set to reform. don't think
L does him any good to have a real nice
uncle come to the house visiting.
Anyway. that's my experience.
have backslid the worst way. and it is go
| ing to take me a month after uncle Ezra
goes away. TO climb up to the grace that
have fallen from 1t is darn discourage
| ing said the boy as he looked up at the
ceiling in an innocent sort of way. and
hid the macaroni under his coat. when the
woodsawyer. who had been hit in the nerl.
dropped his saw and got mp mad.
whats the trouble? Your uncle has the
| reputation where he lives of being one OF
the pillars of society. But you can't tell
about these fellows when they get away
from home. Does he drink ?"
mo. he don't drink. but as near as l
can figure it he and pa were about the
worst pills in the box when they were
young. don't want you to repeat it. but
when pa and ma were married they
eloped. Yes, sir actually run away, and
defied their parents, and they had to hide
about week for fear mas father would
ill pa so full Of lead that he would sink
If he fell in the water. Pa had been
kicked over the fence and chased down
alleys dozens Of times by mas grandfather
when he was sparkling ma. and ma was
terror, too cause her mother couldn't
do anything with her. though she is
awful precise now. and wants every
body to be too good. Why. mas mother
used too warm her ears and shake the day
lights out of her, but it didn't do any good.
She was mashed on pa. and there was no
cure tor her except to have pa prescribed
for her MS a husband. and they ran away.
Uncle Ezra told me all about it. Ma
haint got any patience with girls nova
DAYS that have minds of their own about
fellows, and she thinks their parents
ought to have all the say. Well. maybe
she thinks she knows all about it. But
when people get in love it is the same
now as when pa and ma were trying to
keep out of the reach of my grandtather's
shotgun. But pa and Uncle Ezra and
ma are good friends and they talk over
old times and have big laugh. guess
Uncle Ezra was too much for pa in joking
when they were boys, cause pa told me
that all rules agains: joking were sus-
pended while Uncle Ezra was here, and
for me to play anything on him | could.
| told pa | was trying to lead different
life, but he said what wanted to do was
to make Uncle Ezra think of old times
and the only way was to keep him on
the ragged edge. thought if there was
ANYTHING | could do to make it pleasant
for my uncle. it was my duty to do it, so
fixed the bed Stats on the spare bed so
they would fall down at A. nj. the first
night, and then retired At two o'clock
/ heard the awfullest noise in the spare
room, and bowling and screaming,
and went down and met Uncle Ezra
in the hall. and he asked me what was
the matter in there. and l asked him
If he didn't sleep in the spare room, and
he said no. that pa and ma was in there.
and he slept IN their room. Then we
went in the spare room. and you'd a
dide to see pa. Ma had jumped out
when the Stats first fell, and was put
ting her hair in curl papers when we
got in, but pa was all tangled up in the
springs and things. His head had gone
down first, and the mattress and quilts
rolled over on him, and he was almost
smothered, and we had to take the bed
stead down to get him out. the way you
have to unharnes horse when he runs
away and falls down, before you can get
him I'D. Pa was mad. but Uncle Ezra
| laughed at him, and told him he was only
foundered, and all he wanted was a bran
smash and some horse liniment and he
would come out all right. Uncle Ezra
went out in the hall to get pail of water
to throw on pa, cause he said pa was
afire, when pa asked me why IN blazes
didn't fix the other bed stats. and told
him didn't know as they were going to
change BEDS. and then pa said Don't let
it occur again. Pa lays everything to
me. He is the most changeable man
ever saw. He told me to do everything
Uncle Ezra wanted me to do, and then,
when helped Uncle Ezra to play a joke
on pa, he was mad Say. l don't think
this world is run right, do you? haven't
got much time to talk to you to-day.
cause Uncle Ezra and me are going fish
ing; hul don't it strike you that it is queer
that parents trounce boys for doing just
what they did themselves. Now, l have
got friend whose father is lawyer.
That lawyer would warm his boy if he
should tell lie. or associate with anybody
that was bad. and yet the lawyer will
defend man be knows is guilty of steal
ing, and get him clear, and take the
money he got from the thief, who stole it,
to buy the same boy a new coat to wear
to church, and he will defend man who
committed murder, and make an argu-
ment to the jury that will bring tears to
their eyes. aud they will clear the
murderer Queer. amt it ? And, say,
how is it that we send missionaries to
Burmah, to convert them from heathenism,
and the same vessel that takes the
missionaries there carries from Boston a
cargo of tin goods to sell t. the heather ?
Why wouldn't it be better to ss1d the
missionaries to Boston? think the more
. boy learns the more he gets mixed"
"Well. how's your theater? Have any
Of the great actors supported you lately ?"
said the grocery man, to change the SUBJ
liect.
mo, we are all of on vacations. Booth
and Barrett, and lots of the stars are gone
to Europe, and the rest work down to less
l. - - e q L. 49,