National Republican., 1883-06-01

wear silk trowsers this summer.
FRENCH cabmen, says the Commercial Ad-
vertfser, expect soon to drive Cochin China.
The Boston Post thinks IL rather stirs up
the bile of a college president to speak OF him a
running dude factory.
BUTLER seems to be making pretty good
progress in Massachusetisin In his great effort to sue
ceed himself with some other man.
ONE of the officers of the board of health
In country town tried TO close up n cigar store
because he had heard that deoayinR cabbage
leaves produce diphtheria.
A New YORKER suggests q monument to
Engineer Roebling whereupon the Baltimore
American very pertinently inquiries, "what Is the
matter with the Brooklyn bridge 2"
YOU'RE the plague of my life !" exclaimed
an angry husband. "I wish the Old Nick had
your $50 might plague you In the next life?"
calmly In quired the wife-E. r. R. Journal
A MAN in the central offico of the telephone
company saystk the noise there is iferent from
young lady ut party, for one Is a ball room
belle and the other is bell room bawl.-Pitsburo
Telegraph.
IT takes day and half to reach the sum-
nit Of Pixies Peak. Anent which the Commercial
Advertser makes the punishable remark that an
ardent ichthyologist would travel for years II he
could only hear pike speak.
THE very worst Of bad season is perpe-
trated by the Boston Commercial Bulletin "Mr.
lsaacs, can you tole me we're vas the first dia-
mondT mo, Mr.. Yawoobs; we're vas III" "Vy.
Noah's son on dor ark he vas q Shem Of der fust
vater."
AT bank-Cashier: Excuse me, madam.
but your account is rather overdrawn." Mrs. Nal.
travers (whosc husband is off on business and has
lett acheck book: "oh, Mr.. Cashieri that can't
be possible. I've got lots Of checks left yet"-Co-
lumbia Spectator
YOUNG lady should never visit restaur-
ant after the opera or theater alone with a male
companion. She should always have young
lady friend with her, even II 1t does stick the
young man for 80 extra. Etiquette must be OBJ
served.-C Cincinnati Enquirer.
AT London public dinners IL has ceased Ia
be In order TO rise to any toast except that of the
queen. Furthermore, remarks tho New Orleans
Pcdvune, the toast to the queen always comes arst
and before the diners arrive at that condition in
which they are unable TO arise.
The Detroit Free Press says that when n
Louisville girl comes TO the conclusion to have
notning TO do with her beau she figures up the
amount no has expended on her for ice cream
and candy and buggy riding and seuds him a Ger.
uhed check for the sum total. That's business.
THE best articles are always put up in tho
smallest quantities." observed philosopher. "a
woman who does not talk is the greatest blessing
to man." profoundly remarked another. Taking
both into consideration, the Pittsburg Commercial
says, II seems that Minnie Mum is growing rapidly
In philosophical favor.
II HAVE been married for several weeks.
and my husband and / cannot decide whether we
should retain our old love letters or burn them
What would you advise? Mrs. C."-Put them In
pasteboard box in the servant girls room. A
supply OF old love letters has been known to keep
girl contented In one place for three months at
u time.
THE women folk are wearing artificial bugs
ana spiders as ornaments. This shows the SUI
periority of art over nature. One real bug or truly
spider would set woman into conyulsions; bu
such Is the ameliorating effect Of art that she will
wal X about with dozen or more crawling all
over her aud never so much as wince.-Boston
Transcript.
A WOMAN in Albany, while cleaning house.
found large roll of bank bills secreted In store
room. She had invested the entire amount. in
her mind, In spring bonnets, redingotes straw
berry colored ottoman silk gowns. embroidered
velvet waistcoats, silk jerseys, ard 80 forth, be.
fore she discovered that the bills were on an old
state bank which failed years ago. Then she was
too mad to think.-NoTiStopn Herald
The Rev. DR.. McKim, one of the three
clergymen who presented charges of heresy
against the Rev. Heber Newton, has himself been
charged with heresy, within a few days Mr.. New
ton might quote with effect in this connection the
text about the casting out of beam from ones
eye before attempting to rid brother of mote;
but that would hardly be fright use Of the
Bible"
The Moscow papers occupy themselves with
stories Of our Mr.. Mackay's wealth. They seem
to be under the impression that he has the finan.
cial care of the American special mission, and
that he intends TO spend 8 900 900 roubes during
his stay in Moscow. They describe his mines of
such immense depth and SO near the center of the
earth that the workmen can only labor an hourat
q time. To the Muscovites, the Herald man SAYS.
he IL one OF the most interesting personages
attending the cotonation fetes.
IT is to be said in honor of the new czar of
all the Russias that scandal, which has never had
any excuse for neglect off Russian prince, has
found no breach In Aexander's reputation. His
life has been bound up In the society Of his wife
and children. His wife, the handsome Princess
Dagmar OF Denmark, sister of the future queen
OF England, came TO him somewhat as his crown,
ouo was tne DeuOtncu OF MS elder brother.
who on his dying bed besousht his successor to
make good the young girls ambitious dreams.
AN Austin young lady, who has enjoyed
the advantages ofa claf fsical education at north
ern female college, happened TO be at home when
her aged grandmother was stricken down with
fatal illness. The ertiIs family gathered around
the deathbed OF the old lady, who, in a feeble
voice, said: Good by TO you all I'm gwine ter Deg
out" Grandmother exclaimed the young
lady in tragic tone of voice, "pease don't say
that. Don't say you are gwine ter peg out, Say
you are going to expire, or that you contem.
plate approaching dissolution. ItsoundA so much
better."-7eras SUdtn0s.
THE effort to force society men into wear.
ing gloves with full evening dress IL dead failure
so the Brooklyn Eagles "lounger" says. Some
English dudes first brought tho thing over
from the other side and pushed It vigorously.
They never appeared at the opera, the theater, or
at private receptions ungloved, and their exam
pie was followed by few or the ultra fashionable
men about town. But IL nevertheless fell through
"A man In evening dress who wears gloves now
is looked upon great oeal as coxcomb. This
does not apply to street and walking gloves, a.
they are always in order"
ARIsTARcHI BEY, the late Turkish embas-
sador TO Washington, was Christian and Greek.
The new representative, Tewfc Paoha, is a Mos
lem aud Turk. The Constantinople correspond.
ent OF the Boston advertiser says: "No better
choice could have been made. His previous resi-
dence In America makes him conversant and in
full sympathy with the country to which he Ia
sent He is what is common among his class,