The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1883-08-30
Is folded under the walnut trees,
Soft as the note of e singing bird
HUMOROUS.

81
"Why," exclaimed a tourist, "a
donkey couldn't climb that HILL" and
then he added, "and I'm not going to
try it."
When the hen with chickens at
tackled the small boy in his mothers
yard the hen informed him she had
him some time.
"W, ere is my darling boy to-day? ?"
Oh, anxious mother, bark,
He's stealing o ride OIL street car gay
Headed for baseball park. =,
"Here, waiter, didn't I ask for new
potatoes? These are last years
Waiter-"You wouldn't call g baby
born last year old, would you?-EoS.
ton Transcript.
Nearly four hundred persons were
killed by the wind last year In this
country. This is terrible record for
an off year in politics.-New Yors 5
Commercial.
She sang, "I want to be an angel,
and he swore that she was one aiready.
To this she blushingly demurred. ihen.
he married her. Demurrer suseaiad.@'
Cincinnati Saturday Wight.
"What is color guard, papay the
good boy asked. "a parasol ana ven, g
nv SON." replied the worldly-wlse
father, and the little boy silently Won
dered with such thi1gs.-Bu' dette.
OF the three cyclones in Michigan
this year none Of them has carried
cook stove seven miles and tenaerlys
sat it down at the back door OF some
poor but worthy widow.-Detrost fTee (
Press.
"Is that dog mad9" he asked tAe
boy as the animal dashed by.
reckon he is," replied the boy. ~ just
see a butcher take piece O meaI
away from him and kick him six feet
into the air" Y
A young correspondent complains
that there are too many lawyers ID
the country" Oh, no, my boy; they
aren't too many lawyers. There aren't
half enough clients, that's all.-
Ha,Dkeye.
It's Lowell who asks, "What is SO
rare as day in June?" is it not?
Well, now, if he had only stopped to
think minute, he might have known
the 29th of February was the answer
to the riddle.-Harrard L0mpoo1l.
A Brooklyn woman has been ar
rested charged with stealing an ac-
Gordon. a woman wicked enough to
steal an accordion would do worse.
She would even play on the diabolical
instrument.-A Sharp.
The curiosity Of a child Of five had
been aroused by seeing magnifying
glass. Chow many times does it mag
nify?" asked gentleman, thinking to
puzzle him. GAS many times as you
look through it," was the quick reply.
The old weapon used by David 70
slew Goliah seems, looking at it in the
light of these latter days, to knock then
romance all out of the great victory OF
the former. The "s.ing" slews giants
and pigmies alike even unto this day,
and people marvel not thereat.-Pechs
Sun.
A Peoria girl recently planted lot
of feathers with the hope that they
would bring forth an early crop OF
spring chickens. She is closely related
to the young lady who wouldn't eat
veal because she thought she could
never afterward look cow in the
face.-Dai1y.
ALondon oculist says that culture
diminishes the size Of the eyes. The
gentleman is only partly right, it is the
effect of culture. Look at the cultured
Bostonian, Mr.. Sullivan, for instance.
He not only diminishes the size OF
eyes, but in most cases entirely closes
them.--RocheSter Ealress.
A pressed brick from the new city
building in Philadelphia has been sub
iected to a hydraulic pressure Of five
hundred thousand pounds. If ever
man is smote with one OF those brick,
it will be useless for him to dodge. 1t
would knock him down if it didn't
come within a rod Of him.--Ha,ckeye.
In North Brill there are nc pro
feasional dressmakers, the finest ladies
usually making their own Costumes.
When a man buys his wife two-dollar
dress he doesn't have to give her ten
dollars to have it made. There are
some things in North Bra il worthy
of imitation in this country.--No7TiS-
torn Herald.
"Yes," said Spillman, II knew Mr..
and Mrs. Brown we'll. l never saw
another couple enjoy married life like
they did. They lived together more
than forty years, and never cross
word passed between them" "lndtei,
what a remarkably congenial couple"
"Yes, they were de;if and dumb. -
Someruiue Journal.
Charles Francs Adams, Jr., attacks
the system which now preva Is in the
colleges of making Greek and Latin
the basis of a ibe::al education. Mr..
Adams should rest his soul in patience.
Baseball and boat rowing are rap dly
supplanting Greek and Latin as the
basis of liberal college edncat;on.--
Norris!oaOn Herald.