San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1883-08-16
Strabismus and Justice.
By Bill Nye.

Over in st. Paul met man with
eyes of cadet blue and terra Gotta nose.
his eyes were not only peculiar in
shape, but while one seemed constantly
to probe the future, the other was an
parently ransacking the dreamy past.
While enc rambled along the glorious
possibilities OF the remote golden ulti
mately the other sought the -sembe
depths Of the previously. 81 e.
He told me that years ago he had
mild case of strabismus and that both
eyes seemed to glare down his nose till
he got restless and had them operated
on. Those Were the days when they
used to fasten crochet hook under
the internal rectus muscle and cut it
little with pair of optical sheep shears.
The effect of this course was to allow
the eye to drift back to direct line,
but this man fell into the hands of
drunken surgeon who cut tue muscle
too much and thereby weakened it so
that it gradually swung past The point
it ought to have stopped at and he saw
with horror that his eye was going to
turn out and protrude as it were so
that man could hang his hat son it.
The other followed suit and the two
orbs that had for years looked along
the bridge of the terracotta nose, grad
nally separated, and while one looked
toward next Christmas with fond ap-
precautions, the other loved to linger
over the remembrances of last fall,
This thing continued till he had
to peer into the future with his off eye
closed and vice versa.
il. 1t is needless to say that he hungered
for the blood of thatphysieian and sur
geon. He tried to lay violent hands
on him and wipe up foreground with
him and wear him out across tele-
graph pole. But the authorities al
ways prevented the administration of
swift and awful justice. s..
Time passed on till one night the
abnormally wall-eyed man leosened o
board in the sidewalk up town so that
the physician and surgeon caught his
foot in it and caused an oblique fracture
of the scapula, pied his dura mater,
busted his cornucopia and wrecked his
sarahbellum.
Perhaps I am in error as to some of
these medical terms and their orthogra-
ply, but that is about the way the man
with the divergent orbs told it to me,
The physician and surgeon was quite
q ruin. He had to wear clapboards on
himself for months, and there were 9th.
er doctors and laudable pus and threat
ened gangrene and doctors bills with
the cemetery looming up in the neal
future. Day after day he took his OWL
anti-febrile drinks and rammed his
busted system full of iron and strych.
nine and beef tea and dover's powders
and hypodermic squirt till he wished
he could die, but death would not come
He paved the air and howled. They
fed him his own nuxvomica, tincture Of
rhubarb and phosphates and Cruel
and brought him back to life with 6
crooked collar bone, shattered shout
der blade and a look of woe. a.
Then he sued the town for 1000
damages because the sidewalk was i'm
perfect, and the wild.eyed man witt
the infared nose got on the jury
will not explain how it was done
but there was verdict for defendan
with costs on the Esculapian wreck
The man with the crooked vision il
not handsome, but he is very happy
He says the mills of the godsr grint
slowly, but they pulverize midling fine