The Sunday herald. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1866-1887, 1883-02-11
THE HOTEL LoAFER.

There is character you often see about
Washington that you seldom see elsewhere why ,
! Elsewhere he would be different individual. Were
he In village, he would be like unto the village
loafor-the man who fishes. or attends fishermen who
come from ctles gathers their bait, rows their boat
drink their grog, retas them all the gossip Of the
nelHhborhood, etc. should party Of gunners want
his services, he would follow them faithfully as
pointer, for pint OF rye and n half dollar. When
he can lind nothing else to do he does odd Jobs at the
village store or seeks the sunny side OF house and
basks. That's about what such characters do In
villages; but when such man gets to Washington he
becomes q Hotel Loafer, and, shades OF Hickman how
many OF them have we lie generally goes buttoned
up to the chin and carries caue has FIAT shoes and
pants very shiny about the knees; coat very rusty
about the collar and hat out OF style; what little
apparent linen he shows Is paper celluold and he
has six or eight pawn-tckets on hand always. How
he lives Is mystery, yet live he does and he picks up
dollar here and there In marvellous way Perhaps
he may have wife who rents rooms; may be he has
daughter whose husband tolerates him; possibly,
nay. very likely, somebody else's daughter,
living south OF the Avenue, leading an
awful life, supports him In idleness. lie
can tell you all about public aRairs-knows to dead
certainty. who is to be Speaker OF the next House,
and whether not the Executive will call an extra
session on March 4. lie enarges on his familiarity
with Influential men, says he knew Chef Intimately
In New York. and always refers TO certain Senator
as Black Jack; is OF the firm opinion that Blaine.
nor Conkllng, nor sherman, Grant, will ever be
nominated, and the party needs new timber, and he
told Bob the other night that no would be id
good man for the second place on the ticket. lie
chews tobacco with great vigor and sps with great
precision but he was never known to buy any OF the
weed. He has a little room somewhere, but where 1t
isnobody knows lie is great hand shaker, and
viii call a man Jones or Brown or Smith, without the
Mister, after an hours acquaintance. lie hangs
around the billiard-room, monopoizes the chairs,
and keeps the players standing. He tries, by many
means, to make you believe that he Is an influential
member OF the third House, and borrows dollar
here and there on the strength OF it, lie will get
the street cars and be In great distress because he
forgot his wallet, and lie for Ave cents. lie Will
''ring In" with any party parties goug toward
the bar, and do 1t with great adroltness He W III
systematically and continuously swindle poor
widows. who keep cheap boarding houses, and
colorcd aundresses. when he has made the rounds
aud becomes known, and had been '.lred ont ~ OF
boarding houses, he becomes adept In attending
free lunches. He has string OF worm out stories and
smutty Jokes. which he retalls to listeners for beer
with the Congressional Library, the Smithsonian,
and the Corcoran Gallery Of art free, he goes
near them, but spends hours and days loafng about
the hotels. II Is wlndall to him for any old friend
or acquaintance to come to the city-he shows him
great attention, takes him around, borrows FIVE or
from MIN, anu promises 10 remit IL the
next day. He writes letters to school chums old
time friends, and begs the loan OF few dollars for
few days. lie is dwlndllng down to a small point
very fast yet he never thinks OF making living.
He delights IN being called Judge or kurnel. and
makes o point OF calling his chums the same. He
affects familiarity with all the public men who come
about the hotels, and always has his down
his tailor's for repair t9). He often "beats'' his
way on steamboat excursions and TO Mount Vernon,
he M hal ctad with
and he has not learned that life Of idle thrftless-
ness Is the hardest life man can lead He has hap
pened around when billiard balls have disappeared,
andthen happens TO stroll to shops. He knows
all the detectives and unfortunate women on
the Avenue. lie hangs around the hotel news stands
and steals his reading matter and, should gentle
man leave paper in the reading-roo he cabbages
IL at once lie has out all his friends and rea
tves, far and near, by borrowing. He is the type OF
American who. humorist has said, is too proud
TO beg and too honest to STEAL but lie gets trustsd
He has been, probably, school teacher, and doc
tor, and lawyer, and half educated preacher and
an oihcer In the Army aud clerk In Office, but now
he is nothingand that is about where all these
derng men pull up. Perhaps he has been one OF the
most thrlftess of all men-a he musician. He Is no
fool but really shows enough tact and ability In his
calling, or want OF calling TO make him good living
were they directed right lie talks very glbly about
the war and WAS In all Its battles with Grant when
Vicksburg surrendered and with Meade at Gettys-
burg. He has heard every important Congressional
speech, and has been terms OF the greatest In
timacy with all the big men OF the last decade. He
denounces the last census fraud and thinks 'Jm
Garfelds friends should pack their grip-sacks. >,
lie has been around the world and through many
breadth escapes on Arctic expeditions and the
Ahdes-was with Custer, and on POWELL expedition
there is no telling where he has been. lie thinks
Grant Is hanging around for good and
knows - id we'll that there amt a chance
In million for Chet'' Should party of gentlemen
be In the reading ROOM whom he wants to make an
IMPRESSION he Will take greasy tablet out OF his
pocket and ot down hooks and crooks try to make
them believe he is stenographer. He Is, In short
one OF that large body who think the world owes
them living, ~ but who will not think that they owe
the world labor for that living He is poorly fed and
half clad, and some day he Is stricken H. and like
all drinking men when sickness lays Its hand on them
he dies and his friends ana relatives are glad lie Is
gone, but another Hotel Loafer hobs up his
place. SouID,