davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13
4 M0uthful Of Money.

Mr.. Nicholas Langdon, well-knd&r
Eighteenth-ward politician, had funny
experience with pet monkey yester-
day. He tells the story as follows
'.Along with two friends | went into 3
beer saloon On Third Avenue. l called
for three beers and placed quarter on
the counter. A monkey was scratching
his ears at the end of the bar and blink.
ing his eyes at the boss My friend
turned around to admire several orna.
mental theatrical bills on the walls, and
L joined them. When we. were ready tc
go i said TO the saloonkeeper, where's
my changer He said, What chanoe?'
L looked at him with surprise. and told
him that L had put down a quarter on
the counter. The man said L was mis-
taken; but my friends, who saw me nut
the money down, told him that | had
tossed twenty-five cents on the bar. The
German was heard to mutter something
abouts 'dead-beats, and Twas beginning
60 get my Irish up. The monkey was
apparently taking in the situation, and
1 Thought his jaws looked little swollen.
III bet that monk took that quarter
said to myself. Walking up to the ami
mal / just gave him tap behind the ear
and he spilled g so in silver change on
the bar The boss appeared to be dumb
founded. and as we went out he was
heard to remark that he would bet his
life that the bartender John.had trained
the monkey and that he must be working
the customers as well as the drawer, but
The combination was spoiled Y.
EorLd,
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13
Quality OF Eggs.

A gentleman once demonstrated with
his market-woman on the high price OF
her eggs, TO which she replied: Eggs
is eggs nowadays, l would have YOU
KNOW" meaning that they were scarce.
Il am very glad to know it." said the
gentleman, for the last bought of YOU
were chickens"
Eggs are eggs, whatever may be the
price, but there is difference in the
quality even of fresh eggs. They are
all manufactured alike, but they are not
all made of the same material, and hence
the difference. 1t is a well-established
fact that the food of fowls affects the taste
Of the egg rs well as the taste of their
desh. The flesh of water fowls that
i've on fish has fishy flavor, and their
eggs partake of the same. So the odor
and favor of onions may be detected in
he eggs of barn-yard fowls, and it does
aot always require detective to per-
,eire it. All this might be inferred from
he slightest knowledge of animal physi-
ology, and it is proved by actual expert
snce.
The quality of eggs cannot be ascer-
tained in The market, excepting as &c
whether they are fresh or added; the
proof is the same as in the case of pud-
ding-it is in the eating. But those who
keep fowls and nave their eggs laid to
order may know beforehand what
is to be their quality. If you have
the right kind of fowls it de-
ponds largely on their food. Fowls
should be kept in a clean, wholesome
place They should have clean food to
eat and only clean water to drink. They
should not be allowed to live on the
dung hill, but should have plenty of good
and wholesome food. Corn and wheat
are good enough for staple diet. Buck
wheat will not furnish as rich eggs az
either OF these. Fowls should have some
kind of green food. In summer they
gather it for themselves when they run
at large; in winter it should be provided
for them. Cabbage and other vegetables
should be laid up expressly for their use
in the winter season. In order to ensure
their laying freely they require some
kind of animal food. In summer they
gather it by catching grasshoppers and
various kinds of insects, but in winter
they have no such resource. Refuse
pieces of meat, liver, etc., may be OBJ
tanned at the butchers. and scraps OF
meat from the table should be giver
them.
But whatever they feed on. care should
be taken TO have it clearly. 1t is vel
worth the experiment TO try different
kinds of food, and then test the quality
of the eggs. Great satisfaction will be
found in the result of good care and clear
feeding.--N. I. Observer.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13
FARM AND PRESIDE.

Ceilings that have been smoked BY
kerosene lamp should be washed OF
with soda water.
: do not neglect to roll the wheat
fields this spring. A roller is indispen.
sable on a well regulated farm and every
farmer should have one.-M Y. Herald.
Potash is necessary to successful
potato growing. The easiest and best
way of supplying it is in the form OF
wood ashes. 1t is also contained in soft
coal ashes and well rotted stable manure.
"A New York farmer says he has
found by experience that an acre OF
Hubbard squashes will go farther in fat
tening hogs than the corn raised on the
same ground. :.
Thick brown paper should be laid
under carpets if the patent lining is not
to be had; it saves the wear of the fabric
and prevents the inroad of moths, which.
however, will seldom give trouble if sail
IS sprinkled around the edge when the
carpet is laid.-Chicago Nescs.
AT the recent meeting of the West
srn New York horticultural Society al
the apple crop OF 1882 was summarized
to be the bad weather in the spring, the
apple curculio, the drought of the pre-
vious year and the severe wind and
hailstorms which blighted the blossoms
in some sections. These would appea,
to be sufficient reasons.
Deep drains are best because they
secure the slow percolation of the water,
giving the soil chance to take up OF
absorb the nutritive properties which in
the other case would go directly into the
drain and be lost. The drain first car
ries off the very cold water of the sub
SOIL and the warmer surplus moisture
from above taking its place, warns the
land and hence offers large area fol-
the roots of the crops to amplify and
thus gather up greater stores of plant
food Chicago Journal.
Economical rice pudding: Two
large ta5lespoonfuls of rice to one quart
of milk, one small cup of white sugar,
one cup of cut-up raisins. Let it stand
in a. warm place three hours and bake
one hour. The addition of one or two
eggs spoils the pudding, rendering il
firm and hard. Four eggs and half the
rice, previously boiled, will make de.
licious custard, with few grains OF
rice at the bottsm.-NerO England Far.
mer.
Here is recipe for delicious pud.
ding sauce: Scald half pint of sweet
milk; while still in the saucepan, pour
in the well-beaten yelks of two eggs; let
this boil until about like custard: then
let it cool. and when cool add the whites
of the two eggs beaten stiff, and table.
spoonful of vanilla. When beating the
whites of the eggs beat one teacupful of
pulverized sugar in with them. When
the eggs and sugar are added to the
sauce, it should be stirred vigorously
a. Y. Post.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13
Now and Then.

In 1916 one bus hel of corn would buy
one pound of nails. In 1888 one busheI
of corn will buy fifteen pounds of nails.
In 1916 it took from twenty to thirty
dozen of eggs to buy one bushel of salt
In 1888 one dozen of eggs will do the
same thing. In 1916 it required sixty
four bushels of barley to buy one yard
of broadeloth. In 1888 five bushels will
do the business. In 1916 it required one
bushel of wheat to purchase one yard of
calico. In 1883 one bushel of wheat will
purchase thirty-fiye yards of better ar
ticle. In 1916 pair of wooden blankets
cost as much as cow. In 1888 cow
will buy from six to twenty, superior in
every way.-Prairie Farmer.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13

through which all things were seen, as.
through . glass darby"
Let no sufferer be discouraged because no
or she has tried other medicines without
benefit. In fact, these are the cases tho
Worlds Dispensary Medical Association
particularly desire to reach through their
DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery.
When all other medicines fail let this be
tried, and no one viii be doomed to further
disappointment.
The Golden Medical Discovery Is pre-
scription Of physician with . wide-awake
maintain. 1t is far beneath the dignity Of
DIR. Pierce to lend his name to any vile nos
trum, or catch-penny preparation, whereby
the public may be deceived. Having used
his Discovery for many years in his unprec-
edented private practice, he'll convinced it
is indeed q specific in diseases mentioned.
Desiring this marvellous cure shall benefit,
not only those with whom he comes per-
sonally in contact, but that all mankind
may be embraced in his grand plan for the
amelioration of human suffering, the Doc
tor, through the Worlds Dispensary Med
ical Association, earnestly and most con-
fidently recommends his Golden Medical
the most skeptical will be thoroughly con-
WINGED of its worth by trial of single
bottle.
In stubborn, or long-seated affections, and
where the bowels are very costive, the gen.
tie, though certain action of the Discovery,
will be more rapid and satisfactory by sup
plementing DIR. Pierce's Pleasant Purga-
tive Pellets in small daily doses of one or
two. These pills (the original and only
genuine Little Liver Pills) are purely rege-
table, sugar-coated and very small, yet by
the peculiar process used in their prepare
ton, they possess the strength and virtue
Of larger and unpalatable pills. Pleasant
Pnrgative Pellets will speedily remove all
i'll and disagreeable effects arising from
over-eating or drinking, and are recon-
mended as cathartic at all times, being
perfectly safe, sure and unattended by the
gripping pains usually experienced in the
use of purgatives less carefully prepared.
Promptly resorted to, these little Pellets
will radically cure indigestion, biliousness
and sick-headache, thus saving the patient
from serious and lingering disorders. DR..
Pierce, the President of the Worlds Dis
pensary, and his faculty of twelve skilled
specialists, can be consulted by letter or
in person in any case of chronic disease
requiring either medical or surgical treat.
ment free Of charge. For those desiring
more exhaustive information than can be
impaired through correspondence, the Doc
tor has written book, called "The Peoples
Common Sense Medical Adviser, in Plain
English; or, Medicine Simplified."
This work alone is a goodly harvest for
an ordinary life, and stamps its author a
profound scholar and a very remarkable
man. The book contains nine hundred and
twenty-five pages. illustrated with two
hundred and eighty-six wood-cuts and col
ored plates, and makes plain as a, b, C,
anatomy, physiology, materia medica,
practice of medicine, hygiene, tempera-
ments, psychology, etc,-and answers in
plain, easily-to-be-understood terms all
questions that may arise within their
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13

UNCLE EB, as we used to call him, among
lots of good qualities had one failing. He
did love good liquor; but such was the state
of his credit that no one would trust him.
He therefore one day resorted to trick to
answer the great desire of his appetite. He
took two case-bottles, put quart of water
in one Of them, then put bottle in each
pocket, and started for the public house.
" I'll take a quart of gin," said Uncle Ed as
he placed the empty bottle on the counter.
The gin was put in, and the bottle replaced
in his pocket, when Uncle Eb pulled from
his purse what at a distance might seemlike
tin, Uncle Eb, said the trader. "Eh, now,
it's two-shilling piece" said Uncle Eb.
" It's TIM" said the trader" 1 shan't take
it." "It's all pve got" avery well, you
can't have the GIN" Uncle Eb, without
much demurring, pulled from his pocket
the quart of water. The trader took it,
poured it into the gin-barrel, and off went
Uncle Eb, chuckling.-Erchdnge.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13

A Bre-HANpED sawyer named Shaw,
Put his finger too near the buxz-saw,
He saw his mistake,
But each pain and ache,
st. Jacobs Oil cured in his paw.
A rheumatic old man named Meeker,
Was sick whole year in Topeeker
He there would have died,
But st. Jacobs Oil tried,
It sent him back cured to Osweegef.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13
GRAY hairs are the only object of respect
that can not excite envy.-BacOn.
Instantly Relieved.

Mrs. Ann Lacour, of New Orleans, La,
writes:-I have q son who has been sick for
two years; he has been attended by our
leading physicians but all to no purpose.
This morning he had his usual spell of cough
ing, and was so greatly Frustrated in con-
sequence, that death seemed imminent. We
had in the house bottle of DR.. WIN. HALLS
BALsAM FOR THE LUNGS purchased by my
husband, who noticed your advertisement
yesterday. We administered it according
to directions and he was instantly relieved.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13
Vital Questions!!

Ask the most eminent physician
OF any school, what is the best thing IN
the world for quoting and allaying all irri-
tation of the nerves and curing all forms Of
nervous complaints, giving natural, child
like refreshing sleep always?
And they will tell you unhesitatingly
"Some form of hops"
CHAPTER l.
Ask any or all Of the most eminent ply
sicians:
"What is the best and only remedy that
can be relied on to cure all diseases of the kid
neys and urinary organs; such as Bright's
disease, diabetes, retention or inability to
retain urine, and all the diseases and all
ments peculiar to Women''-
3. "And they will tell you explicitly and
emphatically Buchu."
"Ask the same physicians
"What is the most reliable and surest
cure for all liver disease or dyspepsia, con-
stipation, indigestion, biliousness, malarial
Mandrake or Dandelionp'
Hence, when these remedies are combined
with others equally valuable
And compounded into Hop Bitters, such
a wonderful and mysterious curative power
is developed which is so varied in its opera
tons that no disease or i'll health can posi-
bly, exist or resist its power, and yet it is
Harmless for the most frail woman, weak
est invalid or smallest child to use.
CHAPTER II.
''Pstiepts
almost dead or nearly dying
For years, and given up by physicians Of
Bright's and other kidney diseases, liver
complaints, severe coughs called consump-
ton, have been cured.
Women gone nearly crazyi
From agony Of neuralgia, nervousness,
wakefulness and various diseases peculiar to
women. go. #rar-..
People drawn out Of shape from excru-
ciating pangs of rheumatism,
Iniammatory and chronic, or suffering
from scrofulal
Erysipelas! .4
Salt ,heum, blood poisoning: dyspepsia, Indigestion
and In fact almost all diseases frail --
Nature Is heir TO
Have been cured by Hop Btteys. proof Of which can
be found in every neighborhood in the known world
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13
PERSONAL!

THE VOLTAIC BELT Co, Marshall, Mich. will
send DIR. Dyes Celebrated Electro-Voltaic
Belts and Electric Appliances Oh trial for
thirty days to men young or old who are af-
fiicted with nervous debility, lost vitality and
kindred troubles, guaranteeing speedy and
complete restoration of health and manly
vigor. Address as above. N. B.-No risk is
incurred, as thirty days trial is allowed.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13

Travellers on the continent of Europe
who are unacquainted with the luxury
of American railroads are enthusiastic in
admiration of the new through trains OF
sleeping and dining-room ears, which
carry passengers from Paris to Rome in
two days without change
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13

There is a general movement in
Rhode Island to dispense with binders
on HORSES reformation begun years
ago in England and on this continent,
and now fast spreading throughout the
civilized world,
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13
Unhappy Women.

Women suffering from weakened condi-
tion of the nervous system, nervous pros
tration, faintness, palpitation Of tire heart,
tremblings, headache, leucorrhea, cold ex-
tremities, pain in the back, painful periods,
bearing down pains, ETC., can find sure re-
lief in Just one bottle of DR.. Guysott's Vel
low Dock and Sarsaparilla.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13

STRAIGHTEN your old boots and shoes with
Lyons Patent Heel Stifener, and wear them
again. Sold by shoe and hardware dealers.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13

IF you want to be Telegraph Operator,
send % cents for the Most Complete Tele-
graph Instructor in the world.
c. E. JONES & Bro, Cincinnati, o.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13

IRRITATION OF THE THROAT AND HOARsR-
NESS Immediately relieved by "BrOtCn's BrOn-
chidl 1rOches." Price, 25cts. Sold only in bores.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13

The cheapest and prettiest collars and
cuffs are the Chrolithion. Try them and
see for yourself.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13
THE GENERAL MARKETS.

My wagon never run so light and easy be.
fore began using Wise's Axle Grease.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13

The Hotel building Of brick, four stories,
100 feet front, with the grounds, together
with all the furniture, fixtures, supplies, table
and bed linen, silver and glass ware, etc. The
whole will be sold in lots or article by article
without reserve. All first class in every re-
spect and nearly new.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13

THE French word for law is placed in the
feminine gender. This is because the law
is so fearfully uncertain.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13

Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar
Checks cold and prevents bronchitis. Pixies
toothache drops cure in one minute.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13
What the great re.

What the great re-
storariye, Hostetters
Stomach Bitters, will
DO, must be gathered
from what It has
done. 1t has effected
radical cures in thou
sands Of cases of dys-
pepsia, bilious dis
orders intermittent
fever, nervous anec-
lions, general de-
bility. constipation,
sick headache, men
tai dependency, and
the peculiar COM
plants and disabili-
ties to which the
feeble are so subject.
For sale BY all
Druggists and Deal
ers generally.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13

II afflicted with Sore Eyes, use DR.. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it. PC.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13
Rheumatism Positively Cured

in the shortest time. Write for free 40-page
pamphlet on rheumatism, to r. K. Helphen-
slime, Druggist, Washington, D. c.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13

REDpING's Russia Salve meets with wonder
full success in all cases of Skin disease. Try it
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13

"IT's only a cold" But it's dangerous;
use N. K. Browns Ess. Jamaica Ginger.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13
AUCTION SALE.

Elegant Hotel and Furnishings Com
plete-Will be sold on the Premises.
Worlds Hotel, st. Joseph, NO., Tues.
day. the 18th Day OF April.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-13
Our Reporters Vacation Notes.

WIsE's Axle Grease acknowledged the best
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-10-21
WASHINGTON.
Register Bruce's Circular.

| Washington. 2O.-The following
circular, approved by Secretary
Foiger,. was issued by Register
Bruce today: The present regula-
ton of the department requires, if
the registered bond be issued to a
corporation or company of the off,
cial character of the person execut-
ing al assignment thereto, and the
authority Of such person to dispose
of the bond or bonds in question,
should be duly verified by vote or
resolution of the board of directors
of the corporation of company, GER
t fed under it's seal. In all such
cases q copy of the resolution fur
nished this department must be
certified by some officer Of the cor
poratlon or company or institution
other than the one empowered to
assign the bonds.
The vacancy in the Office
of the supervising architect
OF the Treasury caused by the re-
signation of ]. G. Hill, will probably
be TILED on Monday. An answer is
a waited from a gentleman to whom
the position has been rendered.
A conscience contribution of 5000
was received at the Treasury De-
partment to-day, in a letter post
marked Allegheny, Pa, and signed
There is large and growing de- |
mand for silver certificates, coming |
mainly from st. Louis. the Missis-
sippi valley, Georgia, and the cotton
and sugar growing regions gener-
ally.
Hon. Benjamin Butterworth, of
ohio, the new Commissioner of
Patents, made a short visit to the
interior Department today. Mr..
Marbles resignation takes effect on
1st, and Major Butter
worth will enter upon his duties
ABOUT that time. He leaves for
philadelphia tomorrow night.
In the evening, Lord Coleridge
called on the British minister, and
alter attended private dinner by
Justice Gray. President Arthur
md members of his Cabinet, JUS
ices Of the Supreme court, General
sherman and Admiral Porter and
'ther distinguished officers were
present. /,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-10-21
Yellow Fever.

Havana, 20. - Eighteen deaths
week. e''
San Francisco, 2O.-Christian
Monroe, a swiss passenger who ar
rived yesterday on the steamer
Granada. from Panama, died this
morning and his body will be buried
with the same prec4ution taken in
the previous fatal case of yellow
fever, brought from Mazatian on
the steamer Newburn. All other
passengers have been transferred TO
the old steamer China, now used AZ
sort OF quarantine hospital. The
mails, cargo and everything else
ABOARD the steamer have been fumi-
gated before being brought to shore.
w. w. FELTON,, resident of Mazat-
Ian now staying in this CITY, an.
nounces the receipt of tiers from
ms brother, saying that although
the fever is now abating in MaZat.
Ian, fully 1,500 had died from it in
that place alone. He also confirms
he news already telegraphed of the
destruction of Altata by a hurts
cane.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-10-21
LATEST TELEuRAMS.
a Murderer Murdered.

Des Moines, 2O.-News is received
That w. A. Kline, under indictmf Mt
for the murder of Major Stubs. of
Polk city, was shot at CLYDE in
Jasper county this morning, by his
brother-in-law, John Goals. After
khne's release on bail. he went TO
his deceased fathers farm near
Clyde. which was Occup'e ed by Goals,
The two had frequent quarrels end
ing In Goals serving notice of eject.
ment On Kline. This morning While
Is line was sitting at the breakfast
table, Goals approached him from
the rear and shot him with a
revolver. He then tried to shoot
Two or three others in the room. but
all escaped, when he fed to tie
woods and has not yet been found
Kline will die. -