The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-04-01

To be cold in death is to be put on ice.
Many gay-colored liver-pau hides n sad
heart.
A good Jury will knock the stufling out OF
n ballot'box stuller.
Horses make better time in the spring,
owing to the springy condition OF the track
The Indictment of Kellogg, on the face
OF 1t, shows that'a senator may have his
Price.
When brokers are ready to eat each other
up there is very little other good picking
ABOUT.
Everything is sweet to the sweot-singiug
poet A western warbler has been AT.
tracted by treckles on the iace of pretty
glrl. lie cal Is them "brown-cyed daises
slumbering In field OF cream
They are now telling n story about a
chicago girl who insisted on throwing a
shoc after newly married couple. The
carriage is a total wreck, the doctor has the
bride aud horse under treatment, and "A
large number OF men are searching the
ruins for the groasn Il New York World.
Both ends ob life is shrouded in mystery.
A man doau hnoW when hc's born orwhen
ne d'e5' Oars room enough, however, be-
tween desc twoacllst ter ssl uu mighty heap
oh debilment
In de picture, Pine ia showed wild n
mowlu blade 1mf5 sometnn' in div.
Cab II mNu . maglu'blale and hire him
ter cut grass, Gn' half de time time yer can
see him leAnlu' on dc blade. A mowin'.
blade Is mighty fine thing to kill time
wild.
one Of the most influential Georgia
CHANGERS WAS experimenting affairs at his
cotton press the other day, when he was
| accosted by neighbour II see, colonel
that the tariif bill has passed" rs that
sof How about cotton ties2" "Still IS per
cent. al yaloremP well, here, you boys.
thar silt another shovel o. sand in the mid.
die OF that bale; | can't afford to reform
until the tariff does" And the sitting was
strictly attended to- Georgia Major.
An excited man ran into the Yorkville
police court rushed by the policeman at
the gate and breathlessy said to the Judge
~ want warrant for MIR. Mines. lie
called me u thief and he's got TO prove IT,"
What do you want mo to do with himrn
the court asked.
Make him prove it" said the excited
man.
"All right said the Judge. But if he
does prove 1t shall have to lock Won nm.
The excited man said he would call
again.-lNew York Sun.
Can You tell me how long this fly has
been III this soap" was asked of negro
waiter at u restaurant. 81 dOau' know
zacRly boss. He was dar when de SOM
was warmed obcr, but the question oh
'rithmetic comes In sab, in calCulatin' how
many times 1t hab been warmed" "Why
don't you take the dies out of the soup9H
wall, you see dc man what tends ter dat
business is SICK. | tried ter discharge his
duties. but wild my udder work, | found
dat rs iast as could take out one fly an.
uuer would drap in, so quit what 10
your other work." "Waitin' ON de tabIs
an scparatn' de bugs from do hash, sab. !"
/ Arkansaw Traveller
>, young man, % years old, a resident OF
Detroit, had, by strict economy, laid nv a
couple OF Thousand dollars, Feeling that
ne needed advice as to how to invest il. he
called at the office of q capitalist aud mi.
lanthrop,st, and stated his case
on have done well--eXCeedingly well ~
replied the phildnthropist. You should
invest that money IN u suburban lot, and
profit by the rise,
lind a lot? 10"
oh that's easy enough; in fact, | have
several lots myself in market, and will
give You bargain"
inc map was consulted, but when the
young man saw the location OF the lots
Whlch had soap factory on ono side and a
tannery on the other, with n rayine at The
back OF both, he thought s., 900 too great
price, N'N"'
But the title, protested the philanthro.
pist-'tho title is without flaw. There is
where You gain"
"lloNr
why, when YOU come to mo six months
rom now to mortgage that lot for 81, 900 Il
wouldn't take W. over half an hour to com.
piete thc whole business. AS ia philanthro
pN., ia anviso you to invest in solid real
estate. Asa capitalist, I'm ALWAYS will;n"
~ take mortgage whore the title ia per'
'ectly clear Detroit Free Press,