The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-11-09
OUR BURGLAR.


OUR BURGLAR.
"And if you were three girls, an old
lady and cat you would be as fright
sned as we."
These words wound up what 1 felt to
be the oratorical effort of my life, as,
indeed, it well might be, for did not
peace of mind, fortune, nay, life itself.
hinge upon itp For Billy, our youngest
and our pride, was about to leave home,
having received a business offer too good
todecline, but which would unfortunately
take him from us, except for an infre-
guent Sunday. And with Billy all sense
of security departed, for, though only
seventeen, he was SO big and SO fearless
that we would have matched him against
the burglar that was our haunting fear;
though our neighborhood had never been
molested since the memory of man;
though neither friend, relative, nor ac-
quaintance had ever been victim to a
burglarious attempt, and We ourselves
had ,never suffered from the covetous-
ness of humanity; though our neighbor-
hood was probably not set down in the
Blue-book of robbers, and our house it
self presented a most attempting ap-
pearance, thanks to a landlord who held
1t TO be the whole duty of a householder
to receive rent.
Most families have popularity. OAR
win tells of one which for generations
had six fingers and six toes. We were
GOT so afflicted, but our popularity was
not less part of every member of our
family. From youth up we had had q
mighty conviction we were to be rob-
bed. Still. we had felt no real fear as
long as we had Billy and the weapons
that, to please us, rested nightly by his
side-a section of gas-pipe and police
mans billy without any lead in it; pre-
sumably the latter was efficacious for
The moral force that might still linger
about it.
I'm get you a revolver" offered
Billy. ''Six shots. You might hit your
man with one of them"
But to this proposal there was cho-
rus of rejection from Aunt Barlow down.
1--WE should be sure to shoot each other,
ike those awful stories you read of in
the papers. would not even take a
pistol up by the HANDLE" declared Ma
tilda, energetically. To the feminine
mind, firearms divide themselves into
two classes, pistols and guns.
"a dog? can get you beauty; bull
terrier. I'd like to see the man who
could get by him! Such muzzle!" pro-
posed Jack Walcott.
But this too we rejected, with even
more energy than the pistol. am not
sure but what, in our Utmost hearts, the
burglar seemed preferable to the canine
beauty" that would let nobody get
past him. Billy laughed a little scorn-
fully. Our fears were an old subject of
mirth with him. Not so did Jack. In
his slow, patient way he sat there smok-
ing, and trying to devise still another
way for our protection. If he could
only have staid with us! for no one
could have felt afraid when Jack Wal
colt was neaf. Big, burly. common
place, and the one man on earth for
whom Billy had any reverence. Some
how it always seemed as though it was
his commonplaceness, even more than
his muscle and size, that made him such
tower of strength. He lived some
distance from us, but summer evenings
usually found him on our porch, smok-
ing always, talking sometimes. Jack
always fitted in. One reason was, he
vas not one of those uncomfortable peo-
pie who always insist upon talking, and
The time none of us cared to talk was on
summer evening.
81 shall take the dinner bell to bed
with me every night" said Lou. 'All
the neighbors have told us to ring il
put of the window if we hear anything y
Tie degrees of our fear might be ex.
pressed by positive, comparative, super
ative. LOUIS was superlative.
Ito rouse the neighborhood at every
mouse YOU bear!-you viii do nothing
Of the kind" said Matilda, crushingly,
who by virtue of slight seniority I'M
aertook to manage Lou and myself.
Then we must get somebody to stay
with u.s. pursued Lou. 81 do not stay
N this house alone this winter" Lot
was always making impossible sugges
ions, and then leaving them for some
BODY else to carry out. The presen
one was instantly secuted.
..Oh dear nor said Aunt Barlow.
Take any one here? Neverr' mega
lived Matilda, theoretically. son,
gets used to the angles and corners o
8ne's own family, but stranger woulc
create perpetual friction. We should
5ate him in a week"
Billy murmured something, W.
couldn't hear what, but IT YVES not diff
cult TO guess.
Besides" ] added, impartially, 90
3on't think he would take kindly Il
many of our own peculiar institutions
Che sitting-room sofa, with the damaged
spEisgs and arms. that rolls off like {
ean1on if you nnwarily touch it. Yor
lid that, Billy ] threw in, parentheti
-aIlf, ..and you always said you woull
mend il, and never have. Is there ;
ieck in this house in running order, :
gindow that does not require a prac
iced land to open or close, or a doc
that shuts as it slIouldp We are used K
skipping the third back step, becaus'
Is landlord won't mend it; but wouit