The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-08-17
BREVlTY BASKET.
FILLED with Mention of Minor Events and
Funny Items.

Funny Items.
Tight pants and tight dresses have both
gone out Of style, but II seems as II tight men
never will.-Chicago Tribune.
The evil that men do lives after them. As
an example we would mention the author Of
that air known as "Hail 10 the Chief"-Low-
ell Citizen.
To while away the spare time, why do not
our State Representatives and Senators indulge
in a base ball match, the receipts TO 60 to the
Philadelphia Bulletin.
When Cottage Hill lady was telling her
friend a story the other day she was interrupted
with the query, as that true, or did you see it
in the paper!" --Oil City Derrick.
Japan is unnecessarily cruel to her police.
A late press regulation eompels editors to hold
original manuscripts three weeks to permit
their perusal by the police.-Cincinnau Satur-
day Night.
Sullivan says he never yet hit man with all
his might. II the writer Of these lines has
ever penned anything offensive to Johnny, he
takes this occasion TO pologize.-Cincinnati
TimesStar
An artist who visits the White Mountains
annually says that when he first went to North
Conway he paid for board, with washing in
cluded, dollar and half week. lie must
be an old man.
Don Cameron writes from Europe that he
longs TO hear the United States language
again. Some scientist should invent a swear
ing machine for visiting Americans to take
along. Oil City Blizzard.
The love-sick maiden and her equally love-
sick swain are to be found in great numbers
down at Atlantic, as may be discovered by
gancing into the retired hooks along the board
walk any evening after nightfall.
Delaware Water Gap is named as the place
OF all others for engaged people and people
who want to be engaged. The air is full OF
romance, and the many picturesque spots
where intentions may be declared are count
less.
Two white tramps have been sent to the
chain-gang for throwing kisses at the young
ladies OF a Georgia seminary. The privileges
OF the American citizen seems to he getting
very limited indeed.--N. Y. Commercial Adj
veTtiser.
A curious person notes the predominance Of
dark-haired bellies at the watering place resorts,
and asks what has become of all the bluming
blondes. Brunettes are fashionable, and all
things are possible, it would seem, with love-
| ly women.
| Branches Of trade are too prone to get into
/ furry about small matters. There is no
occasion for a panic in the leather market
wheneveran Eastern bull begins TO below or
a Chicago girl wears a hole in her shoe
Cincinnati Commercial.
A perpetual clock has been in operation in
Brussels for eight months, There are a great
many perpetual" things that will last just
about that long. But the great demand among
the young people of this age is not a clock
that will run forever, but a clock that will
never get past 10 on Sunday night
! Hawkeye.
There is a suspicion that Sitting Bull is
lying in wait for President Arthur's scalp when
the latter visits the Yellowstone region. Au-
thority for this suspicion comes from Atlantic
City, where a dog-cart driver relates that he
overheard Secretary Lincoln's private servant
remark to another servant that the Secreta-
ry feared such calamity.
A bachelor who was tired of single life sci
the table in his lonely abode with plates fol
himself and an imaginary wife and five chill.
dren. He theu set down to dine, and a.
often as he helped himself to food he put tn,
same quantity on each of the other plates
and surveyed the prospect, at the same tim,
computing the cost. lie is still a bachelor
-[Woman's Journal.
After describing the repeated failures of ;
tumble bug to get his bail out OF rut, tn,
Indianapolis News adds "Finally he ploweC
!
a smaller slope than the buggy track, anC
pushed his ball triumphanty out through
1t. Was that reason! 1t vas exactly thu
course an engineer would take. 1t was exactly
the course taken to raise the great wingeC
bulls of Niueveh Has tumble bug got
mind ~
A Chicago wholesale house sent out thre
female drummers by way of experiment. Ont
of them wore all her her samples to a picni
and got lemonade, pie, and grass stains a.
over them; another got mashed on a brake
man and followed HIM off, and the third re
ported three new dresses, a lawn tennis suit
garden hat, and Langry bang in her ex
pense account. The house is so well Statistic
with the result Of the experiment that it wi
not repeat it, IIawkeye.
= An ice house on the Miami river was des
: troyed by fire, and the local paper says thG
when the roof fell in and the flames reache
| the ice, "the awful holocaust leaped with luri
hands to lick the emblazoned clouds that wit
irradiant glare caught up the vivid CLEAN G
restless flame and hurled it into the abysma
spaces beyond the sky" Fortunately III
= prompter called him of before he got chanc
to work in description Of the scene when h
a ice exploded Hawkeye.
: Mr.. w. Nye, of the Laramie Boomerang
has pleasant way of referring to his friend
I, For example: "a French savant has invente
' something or other that ii placed in any so
s OF liquor will make the man who gets drum
upon it feel an earnest love for the who
!. human race. AS soon as we can get the ad
3 dress of the inventor we shall order a barr
and 60 on bum with DR.. Hayford. We wal
= him TO be able to say that for at least oil
: hour of his life he has felt at peace with Il
L whole world. He is the most chronic grun
= bier and faulthnder we know Of"