Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1883-10-10
His Scheme for Peace.

From Puck.J
A rather slim chap, with canary ha'1
ripping beneath helmet with pug
garee stepped into fashionable estab,
lishment where arms are sold and called
unto the clerk:
"Have you any se]f-cocking seventeen
shooters ?"
eyes" replied the clerk; "would you
like to look at them?"
81 would"
In about two minutes the counter was
covered with revolve1s, and the man
with canary hair examined them and
said:
"Give me elk"
The clerk seemed astonished; but tied
up the pistols; at which moment the
customer commenced to fan himself with
his helmet, and remarked:
scot any shot-guns?
eyes. What kid do you prefer
plain or laminated steel?'
doesn't make any difference. Give
me about two of each kind"
The clerk thought he had struck a
lunatic; but he didn't care whether he
took the cash of sane man or a lunatic.
So he tied the guns up, and was about
to announce the amount of the bill, when
the young man inquired:
"Do you keep cannons?"
"We have some nice brass cannons
that carry q twenty-pound solid ball, "
replied the clerk.
care they mounted on wheels?"
"They are"
"Then give me three"
The clerk was considerably amazed,
but took the order for the cannons down
on paper, and said:
"Now, is there anything else. you
would like to seq"
"Yes; would like very much to see
some daggers.
eve have a fine stock of daggers,' u
replied the clerk, as he placed several
specimens on the counter; "Here is one
with solid silver handle which comes a
little higher than the others"
II will take six of the silver handled
ones. Now let me look at a few swords. .
"What kind do you want? We have
a number of different styles"
"What kind, for instance ?" asked the
canary haired youth.
"Well, we have the cavalry saber-'
"Give me two"
"And we have the cutlass."
"The kind used by pirates ?" asked
the long, slender youth, with smile
that betrayed his anxiety.
Eyes, the very kind" =.
81 will take six of them.'
"Now we have some Turkish cine
tars."
II want four Of them, 1 also want
two claymores, just like the one in the
window"
The clerk took down his order, and
began to fancy how much his employer
would think of him for selling such a big
bill, when the customer said:
"Iwant half a dozen Springfield rifles,
with bayonets on them"
81 will take your order and fill it to-
morrow. Is there anything else ?"
eyes; l want some harpoons and
spears"
"Those we have not in stock" said
the clerk; shut we can get them and de-
liver them with the shoteuns."
"Now I want some hand-grenades
and dynamite"
I've don't keep them"
"Don't keep them ?" replied the Gus.
toner surprised; "don't keep them?"
"No."
"Well, then, send all these things ur
to my hotel, G. o. D."
The man presented his card to the
clerk, who thanked him for purchasing
such nice big bill, and said:
II hope to see you when you play il
New York."
II play in New York ? I don't play.
Beg your PARDON" said the clerk
apologetically; II thought you wer'
the manager and star of sensational
dramatic company, playing far ives
blood curd!ing piece, and that You came
for properties"
"Oh, no." laughed the man with vel
low hair; " I am simply going down Il
Texas to start a paper. There are Ger
tain journalistic amenities down Their,
that I desire to observe to the letter.
don't wish to be taken for an amateur.