Lexington weekly intelligencer., 1883-07-07
A LOOK AHEAD.
From the St. Louis Republican. /


With the man ofto-dsy, life is a pasbetic, heroic
ness. Early and late, In and out Of season, at
home and abroad, he wages the war. 1t is
the first thing he begins in the morning and
the last thing he does at night. It Is y des.
pairing contest. Do what he will, he IL yet
doomed to the disheartening and humiliating
fate Of seeing the white, shiny, little spot that
makes its appearance on the top Of Ms head in
middle age, steadily and inexorably encroach-
ing on its hirsute environment. 1t grows from
the size Of an old quartet to that Of new
palm of his hand; it widens till it is rs large
as his whole hand; it eats its pitiless course
onward still, forward and back, on the right
flank and on the left, till only rim of be-
neck, and the battle is ended; the man wakes
up at last to the fact, which he can no longer
disguise, that he is bald.headed, and settles
meekiy down into the depressing and degrad-
ing responsibilities Of that irremediable in
trinity.
1t is to be the fate of the human race It is
a waste of time, money and ointment 70 strive
against it. Some learned comparative anato-
mist has taken a look into the future and seen
the coming man as he is to be-with skull
absolutely hs,fless-not even q remnant on
the top to part In the middle; not even y griz.
zled ruff above his ears and neck; nothing
but bald, shiny knob, rs desoiate a. those
mountain peaks that tower above the timber
line In a armament of perpetual frost. And
this is not all. The superb intellectual crea-
ture being evolved out of the present man
will be not only bald-heAded, but toothless
and web-footed, and have o tail twenty -seven
inches long as compensation for these de-
privations; and as; II this We're not enough,
his lower limbs will he gristly, boneless and
sluggish appendages, of little or no use to him.
He will have q large, active and powerful
brain, and his exalted intellectual po wers
will be tine recompense for the physical beau
| ties and symmetry he has lost. rr
There is no help for it, our authority tells
US. 1t is the logical outcome of processes
| now going ON with increasing force. Teeth
| are the result of the necessities Of that rude
condition when the prehistoric man had to
| he had slain in combat. The hair on his head
is 9estige Of the thick hirsute envelope
which the only covering for his naked
ness. His toes are the stubby remains of an
unshod and prehensile foot, developed and
shaped by the requirements of his beastly
state when he Went on all fours ard fought
with the cave bear for possession OF the cav
erns where the bones Of both are, said to be
| found together. He has reached already u
| condition IN which these appepdages- are en-
cumbrances. Clothing has taken the place OF
! hair; teeth have grown to be worse than use
less, and are actually disappearing; And shoes
have deprived toes of their prehensile power
and are causing them to grow together. Even
legs are losing their usefulness as agents OF
locomotiOn in an age Of steam power electricity
and elevators, and will in due time Be stp-
! plemented with Q tail, which can be wagged
| without exhaustive effort. And yet the
| coming man, after this Transformation, will
be supremely satisfied with himself. and will
| look upon the skeleton Of his ancestor Of 10
| day with something Of that cendescensiou
| with which the latter looks upon the chiro-
panZee,