The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1883-02-16
Oh ROLLER SKATES.
The Hersissntai and Perpendicular View OF
Them by Lock Melone.
SAT- Lake Tribune.

Sat Lake Tribune.
Tbs roller skate Is . wayward little quad
raPsa. 1t 10 ss frolicsome and more innocent
looking then = lamb, but for interfering with
o1s's upright attitude In the community, aud
reducing his best purposes to pulp and his
most boSsst intentions to mere dust, 1t 10
perhaps the best little machine that has ap-
Pesrsa in Salt Lake City,.
Ones Brst feeling on standing up OH a pair
Of roller skates is an uncomfortable tendency
TO come from together. One foot may start
out tosard Idaho, while the other as prompt.
ly strikes out for Arizona. The legs do not
stand BY each other as legs related BY blood
should do, but each showo disposition TO
set up In business alone, and leave you to
take care Of yourself as beat you may. The
svkusrdnsss Of this arrangement is sppar-
ent. While they are setting up independ-
emily, there Is nothing left for you TO do but
TO sit down and await future developments.
And you have TO sit down, too. without hav-
ing made any previous preparation for it,
and without having devoted as much thought
TO 1t ~ you might have done had you been
consulted In the matter.
One Of the most noticeable things at
skating rink Is the strong attraction between
the human body and the door Of the rink. II
the human body had been coming through
space for days and. days, at the rate of mil.
lion miles second, without stopping at eat
ing stations, aud not excepting Sundays,
when 1t strikes the floor, we. could under
stand why 1t struck the floor with SO much
violence. As it is, however, the the thing is
inexplicable.
There are different kinds of falls in vogue
d tbs rink. There are the rear fails, and
front falls, the Cardinal Wolsey fall, the fall
one across the other, three in a pile, and so
on. There are some of the falls that would
like to be excused from describing. The
rear fall is the favorite. It Is more frequent.
ly utilized than any other. Then they have
the dull, sickoning thud. A lady who has
come to the rink TO tempt Providepce, and
weighs about 13e pounds and considerably
more. makes the best dull, sIckening thud.
When she drops, the fall has dull sound, is
sickening, particularly to the lady, aud the
thuduess of it is appalling. There are tive
positions in skating; the perpendicular and
the horizontal. Advanc, d skaters prefer the
perpendicular, while others affect the hori-
xontal.
Skates are no respectors of persons. They
will lay out miBister Of the gospel or the
Mayor of the city as readily as they will
short coated, one-suspender boy, or agiddy
girl with her chew of gum.
A large chew Of gym, worn onothe side Of
the mouth while skating, Ls not advisable.
II Ia liable to shrow the girl Of her balance
onto some other part Of her person. A chew
large enough to occupy the whole mouth Is
not Objectionable. 1t does not interfere with
the equilibrium.
When one Of mans feet starts for Ne
vada and the other for Colorado does
not separatt him from the floor or break up
his fun. Other portions of his body will
take the place his feet had just vacated, With
promptness that is truly surprising. And
he will fsd that the fun has just begun-for
the people looking on.
Give lady time, and she will be graceful
always. 1t is part of the business of her life
to be graceful. Observe her movements on
the most ordinary occasions; they are grace
full. She seats herself in chair, or in pew,
or car, gracefully, and At the same time her
robes hang about her With grace, but In fall
ing at the rink she has not slime to think how
10 make the fall just lovely, aud comes down
In confused ruin. As she does, she utters
. large, ssa,wars "Ohr' that gives to the fall
"A element Of unexpctedness and informal
ity. Gsnelemen, on the occasion Of such
falls, arc petite enough to set the remains on
fce& again. .-...-.
The equipments for the skating rink are a
pair Of skses, . cushion, and bottle OF lini-
msns. Az the skates have no brakes on shem
the Westinghouse brake might 10 brought
slsng 70 be used in case one becomes un.
esspbsa.
One large man, on the second night afts'
tAs rina opened, fell . tremendous fall, not
on hh bosom but on the. other side OF him.
A be sesk OF his skates, he murmured
| ssusthlpx about seeing stars, feeting clouds
Of nsbuls, and .skurrying fragments of sun
He spPsesched the proprietor Of the Bump
isg Arena and said:
~ vsax to change skates"
"whAb tAs matter, strap broksr
sNe.s
sOus If the rollers looss ?" :
"Eishs Of them are loose, but that aim
1 Ne troubls."
sNhsE then 2"
II vane pair Of skstes that's got no dyna
ni,s In them."
/ Ths secret fiearning to skate is KNOWN!
hov 10 sss the ears Asails. Good skaters
Of course, have learned the secret, but the.
hsaissas shsut telling beginners that the!
nsss ssib Of their ears. A person By uslnI
hb ssss uaskes . kind Of sailing vessel
Aimas6. Thus, when he wants to 60 In
disses sssrss, be filings bothesrs to the breez
end tasy ssstain him. Or should he desir
" nshs \ tnrn, he snfurls the ear on tn
ahAs, n In the direction he wishes.te turn
b sseeiss the wind, and he gracefully, viii
| q did e ,sphyr like movement, makes th
ssra. TAe other ear, In the meantime, lie
klasa sssg for fature use:
i LOCK MELoNE.