Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-09-05
Unpaid Funeral Bills.


mortuary matters, and at the same
time the extravagant respect paid to
tine dead induces people to contract
obligations which they have no way of
meeting That is, they will, if you
let them. I've been bit so often, how
ever, that whenever man gets regard
less of expense in ordering funeral L
| get suspicious at once and want to
know where the moneys coming from
Cash or security is my rule in such
cases."
''Then is everyone extravagant in
such cases?"
"By no means. Some people will
haggle and jew as if thev were at dry
goods counter. The worst of 'em are
women. They get all mixed up as to
the price they paid for the last funeral
in the family. Only last night wo-
man told me that she only paid S11 for
the casket in which 'her Willie was
buried fourteen years ago. She wanted
another for the present subject at the
same price, and finally beat me down
to pretty near it."
''She was regular customer
them"
''Oh, yes. We have plenty of them.
This afternoon L will bury woman in
whose family there have been ten funer-
ais in the last five years Four of these
were on different days of one week;
children, who died of scarlet fever, the
second of them while the funeral of the
first was returning from the grave.
l never got my money for any of them,
either"
There are fortunes, suppose, in
the busineSs?" said the reporter.
''On the contrary" was the reply.
there never was an undertaken in
Philadelphia who made money enough
out of it alone to retire. L only know
of one retired one, and though he made
his pile out of turn up of land, it was
not in a graveyard. There is one quite
wealthy German undertaken up town.
He's made his clientage and his money,
however, in Semi-rellgious way
Goes about and prays with the friends
of the dead and thus makes himself
popular. He always conducts the SER
vices himself. A good many under
takers do. At the SIaegmeyer funeral
the woman who was murdered by her
husband last month, the undertaken
was also the priest. L never did it but
once and III never do it again.
"Why not?'
because the cemetery superintend-
ent got all his men around and tried
to make me laugh. They got me SO l
could hardly keep my face straight.
think the memory of that scene would
trouble me If L ever tried to read the
funeral service again.
"Are undertakers favorably disposed
towards epidemics?"
mo; they'd be fools if they were,
since they stand about the best chance
of anybody for contagion. Still. not
many succumb to it. have handled
everything, | believe, but yellow fever
and never came down with any of the
various diseases"
The war was, suppose, the greatest
harvest of the trade.''
There was considerable money in it
and considerable danger, and takers
were frequently sent down to look for
bodies and often traversed battle-felds
in their searches. All the money in
the business then was in private fu-
nerals. | don't see how the govern
ment undertakers made anything at s.
a funeral, which was the price.
$50 undertakers embalm, eh?" said
the reporter, pointing to diploma of
a Cincinnati school of the ghoulish
science.
'Yes, good many do, and they do
it better than doctors"
"Why?"
because the doctors haven't suffi-
cient regard for tine appearance of the
corpse. They are accustomed to work
on almshOuse and hospital patients and
aim at only preserving the body. They
therefore make the embalming fluid too
strong and it darkens the face too
much. A good many object, however,
especially among the lower classes, to
having the body touched with the
knife. They're not content unless
come at them with a big box and $50
pounds of ice"
''lf there are no fortunes in the busi-
ness where does the money go?"
''Most of it go to the livery stable
men. The carriages are the largest
item at any funeral, and we have to
pay for them whether we get our money
back or not. Often we don't get it
back and l believe that on his connec.
tiOn with the livery business the under
taker is out every year of his lire."