Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-02-24

There won't be great deal OF spring house
cleaning In Cincinnati. After the Ohio river
has h q a sweep through the lower story of q
tenement for three or four days there can't be
many cobwebs left.-Det,'on Free Press
Ifthere IS anything in this wide world that
makes man thoroughly sick it ia to run half a
block with might and main to catch horse car
which he hears but cannot see, and to arrive at
the corner out OF breath and in lather of per-
spiratiOn-only to discover that the car is going
the wrong way.-Puck.
The country editor now takes up his pen to
say: 1--WE have received from Hon. Fixem Per-
klns. member Of Congress, several very valuable
public documents for which he will please &C
cept our thanks" Then he lays it down again
and calls out to the office boy: Here, John,
ding to himself; ''Old junk's increasing pretty
fast these days-Great country! Great
country" Boston Transcript.
An Ithaca paper tells of little 4-year-old
child who. upon retiring the other night, began
TO say her evening prayer as usual, and after re-
peating, "1f should die before wake paused
a moment and added "What rumpus there
would be in this housed" Then she recited the
concluding line of the prayer and scrambled into
bed.
You are on the wrong tack. +" said the pilots
wife, when the hardy>sOn of the loud-sounding
carnations. "NO," he replied, after critical
examination. I'm on the right tack, but shoot
me dead i'll amt on the wrong end Off,
SophrOnia-"What is philosophy" It is
something which enables a rich man to say there
Is no disgracein being poor.
Nomatter if the postage is reduced, it is lust
as much trouble to lick o twO-cent stamp as a
three-cent one-Ne,o York Commercial
Young ladies who are pining to paint flower
pieces" are reminded that the flower piece that
is the most attractive to the marrying man is a
Datch OF good bread.-BOstOn Commercial Bull
letin
In fact and in fiction: "There, that's one,"
said gentleman to his son. pointing at a duff
eyed man lOlling in an office Chair The boy
looked In the direction indicated, and then
turning to his parent with reproachful eye,
SAID: LOOK here, pa, no use to try to fool mel
where's his knives and his pistols and his dar-
bles and his false wig and his sham whiskers
restless energy? No use to tell me that sleepy
looking 'beefeater's detective" The father,
with tears in his eyes, assured the lad that the
fat gentleman before them was indeed de-
tective. well, said the boy, ''then stick to
the detectives read about don't want moth
ing to do with detectives outside of story
papers, If that's one of EN-. "-Boston Transcript
Kind words are like bald heads; they can
never dye.-Ne,c Orleans Picdyune
young lady when presented with pair of
opera-glasses asked: How in the world am to
keep them On?'
Pap, did Washington never tell lie3"
mo, son; he didn't"
Then l guess he never went to school any,"
Kentucky State Journal
1ngersol says plug hats and suspenders are
needed in the south before she will make much
headWay, as no people who wear SLOUGH hats
and let their trousers hang slOvenly on their
hips can ever become civilized That's it. With
the danger of breaking his suspenders and hav-
Ing his 81 hat smashed staring him in the face,
man Will be slow about going into fight
Boston Post.