Kimball enterprise. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1883, 1883-06-29

1t was the practice during the civil
war to ship colored refugees, when COM
petent under the title of "contrabands."
Among such candidates for muster on
the Rover of the Mississippi squadron.
was tall young buck with google eyes,
high cheek bones, a great splotch of a
nose, blubber lips, mouth like sharks
and skin which shone like polished
ebony.
"What is your name?" asked nv
clerk when this Appollo was presented
for enrolment.
''Gasper, soh,'
''What else?"
'Nothin, sah!'
"What! No other name?"
He scratched his wool and looked be-
wildered.
"A)l right" said l, IS was in hurry;
"put him down 'Nothing!'
So "Gasper Nothing" was inscribed on
the records of the United States Navy.
So much for the groom.
But the bride. How can picture herr
In need Of an assistant washerwoman,
we sent abroad of a boat load of colorcd
refugees and captured something that
looked IKE compromise between a
giraffe and ourang.outang. Language
is inadequate to paint her portrait. She
was w0ndrously tall, ana ugly. and an
sular. and awkward: long neck. lone
arms, long legs and long all over. Clad
in her long, gray plantation frock. she
loomed up like walking CIeopatra'e
Needle. When she appeared at the Of
nee @ inquired what they called her.
lnal, thlr, she iisped.
sail what! Anything else."
Not.th, l knowsh on, thir"
Lets call her Long SAT-" whispered
the c1efk, 90 Long san was she chris
teneaclh ink.
Ihe hfst step taken IN Salts behalf
was TO devise some acetiorallon Of heZ
flannel, and one Of cur sailors, dexter
and longitude, fashioned a stylish gown
ana petticoats, trimmed with .Barnsley
sheeting, ana Sail shone forth like full
Hedged biuelay It vas decided that
Sail should MARI" casper
But here arose Difficulty What was
10 pe done LOT tfosseauS saits blue
capaT'son had become greasy and de-
faced ana, besides, II was scarcely COM
me II 1aut Tor eride. we deter,mlned,
as as we were gong 70 haTe wedding IN
ihe iasniiv, tnat II shouid he hrst-class, II
possible In TINS desperate emergency,
remelhpereu ti1ae our navy haa recently
captured s,iiai: cohtraoaI'a trader, anu
iiho seen ttle iiltse Vessel lying UNDER
the port quarter OF tne ha2shlp. called
upon the hdmlfai ana stated our dllem-
ma. Nopoay ever loved fun better than
Admiral fofter, nor couto any one
sympathize more than he in such an
enterprise as we had undertaken. For
reply he arose. o2ened a back door of
his cabin and went below. Presently
buck he came, with his arms full of bolts
OF calico, gineharn and the like. |
selected what seemed most suitable,
thanked him and left an invitation foI
the weddinu
Our man mantuamaker again set
to work with a will and
under his artistic touch Sail soon was
gorgeous. We even fabricated SET
Of stays and laced her up like tenor
drum. Next to be looked for was the
wedding ring, This was furnished bv
the wife of an officer of the Marine
Brigade: also some artificial flowers for
the char" and pair of white kid pa,1nt.
lets, which, by dint of soaking and
stretching, were ut last adapted to Salps
taper digits. When we had her all
rugged, Solomon IN all his glory certain
ly never shone as she did. She was
fairly aghast at herself, and it was per-
haps fortunate that we had no full length
mirror in which she could have seen her
self as others saw her.
All being ready, time was fixed and
the wedding invitations were issued to
the notabilities of the squadron. The
nuptial knot was to be tied in the
Rover's wardroom at 10 a. M, Just after
natural orator, than whom no one
could render the Episcopal text with
more i1npressiveness and JUNCTION, as.
sumed the role Of master of ceremonies.
Our captain undertook to give away the
bride. As the decisive hour drew nigh
the wedding guests assembled, arrayed
Ill full naval uniform. The bridal party
came on deck. escorted by e"conlra-
bands" in blue jackets and white pants.
One of Jasnar's M mesSnates officiated az