The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1883-07-28

talking, but you must effect entire lgnor-
ance of her presence, while you continue
your clcqucncc. 1t will not he long
before the beautiful heircss will slyly
ask what YOU are talking about.-The
reply will be entirely unsatisfactory.
Then the hciress will invite you to sit
near her. If You are wise you will be
brilliant and further excite her curiosity
by a few words, pointing a witticism or
two and speedily returning to your
lady, and her heart Will burn with anger.
AS soon as you discover that she is really
interested in what you are saying and
seeks your society make preparations to
depart.-Go through grand flourish of
leave taking with your neglected listen
ers, keep them amused and smiling until
the very last moment, then politely take
leave of your heircss and go home.
This little manwuver of yours will end
her pleasure for the evening. Precious
little sleep will she get that night. All
the fine phrases and towery compli-
ments Of her wealthy suitors will be lost
in the thought of how you sighted
her.
Unlike men, women are impetuous.
They do not wait. On the very next day
the hciresS will send you an invitation to
attend party. She will be there and
~
pay her your finest address. Do it in
fine, delicate but Indifferent way. Your
conduct will again perplex the heiress,
but never mind that.
You must now talk constantly of her
: ..er trends. Tell them that You
would like to shoot three or four of her
lovers; that if she were not rich You
would walk over ten acres of bayonets to
make love to her. In few days you
will get an invitation to another party.
If you are wise you will send regrets and
decline to 60. Explain to her friends
that you are madly in love with her, and
that your sense of honor keeps you from
l.'ti t'lii- tBcii INI presence .'eii'i NJ
anonymous bou4uets-merely writing
From Il friend on the card. Your
star now begins to rise upon the horizon:
you must 60 away for few weeks.
While you are gone write ardent but
very respectful letters to her friends from
your place of exile. On your return you
will get an invitation to call on her. You
must 90 at once, talk to her as if you
owned her, give her good advice, explain
your views about self control, then
change the conversation until it concerns
yourself, finally hesitate, stammcr a
little, blush a good deal and make the
girl your contidant. Tell her in a warm
guSh Of enthusiasm how much you love
a rich girl, but add that you are poor
aud feel that it would be dishonorable
to propose to her. In conclusion, say
that YOU intend to leave the city in a
wcck-forcvcr, never to return again.
This will make the heireSs tremble.-
She will ask YOU to name the girl. While
She catches her breath. blush again, let
your heart swell and the tears flow from
your eyes. Say with a sob that she is
the one you love. and then rush for the
door. Your sweet, beautiful heiress
will give one cry. fling her arms around
your neck and sob: Il love YOU with all
my heart; take me- etc, while you
clasp her to your breast and rain kisses
upon her lips. During this period of
divine ecstasy (Which will seem about
two centuries. suddenly come to your
senses, tear yourself from the girl and
wildly eXclaim that the sacrifice must
not he. Say that her friends will re-
proach you and Justly accuse you of de-
stroying the life of Il poor girl, say that
you love her too well to drag her down
to proverty, cheap laundries, etc, etc,
etc.
That night you will go home a Caesar
with Caesars crown upon your brow. and
in Il few weeks you will be married to a
woman who truly loves you with her
whole soul. But not until You have
taken possession of a noble palace on the
Hudson, with luxury and fine horses all
around you, will yen begin to realize
into what depths Of contempt sor'lid
man can descend.