davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29
Patience, as Played t7 a CLERK,

A lady, stepping into a gentlemen S
furnishing store on Broad street last
week, asked the clerk to show her some
ties.
What style do you wautP' politely
asked the clerk.
.'Oh, | don't know" answered the
lady: "show me something nice.
How do you like thcse9" asked the
clerk, showing her some hundred differ
ent patterns of flat scars.
81 don't see anything that suits. -
answered the lady, after giving the
clerk about an hours work to straighten
the ties she had looked over
The clerk showed the customer
twenty-one boxes Of long, narrow ties.
which did not strike her favorably.
What have you in the way of
bows?' asked the lady.
The oblging clerk, with the patience
worthy of job, pulled out thirtv-two
dozen of bows. Running through those
at the rate of sixty miles an hour, the
lady sweetly said:
Nothing there like. -
Madame, then said the clerk.
"here is the latest thing in gents neck
wear, showing her about gross of
loud and stylish puff-scarfs
NO" said the lady. my husband
does not like anything loud; he likes a
nice, neat figure. What else have
you?"
The clerk, still emulating the exam
pie of Job, showed the customer a
dozen different shapes, and after looking
these over she innocently asked:
us that all you have?"
''Yes, ma am, p" said the clerk, losing
faith in Job.
The lady turned to 20, when she
espied tie in the showcase that the
clerk had failed to show her and which
had neat dot about the size of trade
dollar.
Here, young man." she snapped,
'why didn't you show me that tie?
That is just what want. | will take
that
"How much is it?n she asked, after
the clerk had wrapped it up.
Zone dollar and twenty-One cents"
answered the clerk blandly.
"What! One dollar and twenty-one
cents"' repeated the lady; ''why used
to get very nice ones for twenty-five
cents. l guess l wilblet my husband
get his own ties
Exit lady, followed by a hearty Lord
bless her!' from the clerk.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29
NAUGHTY CHRISTINE NILSSON.
She Plays Poker and Loses Two Dollars q
Day Del Puente Shores.

II am told you play poker good
deal while travelling, madam, said
Cincinnati Enquirer reporter TO Chris
tine Nilsson. "Is it truePn
Eyes, i Is true. ! am just that
naughty"
But for money! Do you play for
money!"
'Yes, indeed II would not be inter-
esting if | did not play for money. Do
you see that little table there? Well,
sir, that is where ! lose all my hard
earnings. There is where Mr.. Pond
and Del Puente and Biorkstcn and Miss
Glenn, one and all, take the pot and /
am made bankrupt"
"Why, madam, you astonish me.
You must play big gamc?"
"a big game? Wei, should think
we do. We play 80 cent limit"
Sand you win sometimes, of course
A woman as smart as you are certainly
don't get beat at anything. DO you
ever VIM"
'No, sir, n-e-v-e-r!"
''liow much do you generally lose in
a day, madam?f
1.-Two dollars that much every day.
Del Puente never loses. He always
takes in the pot"
"And how else do you occupy your
time when traveling?"
Reading, singing, talking and sleep
ing"
Eyes" spoke up Miss Glenn, eve
sleep pretty well when Del Pucnte' is
not snoring"
"iu-sh!" said the madam, pointing
her finger at Miss Glenn, "don't tell
that 1t will get into the paper
but it was time TO 60, as the bell was
ringing, and with many a shake of the
hand and God bless YOU from
Nine. Nilsson, the reporter jumped off
the car, and the train moved away.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29
The Humor Of the Flood,

A very funny incident occurred in the
West End last night. In the Office of a
livery stable, located in the inundated
district, were seated a number of bows
ana men, among the latter the "oldest
inhabitant," who, like truth itself. will
not down, and still continues to tell of
the Hood in '32. The ancient mariner
was In the midst of an account of dar-
ing exploit, in which he was particular
~ prominent by his valor, when there
was crash that sounded like the
rear end OF the stable had at last sue
cumbed to the angry flood and gone
down. Witha yell that would do credit
10 savage Comanche, the crowd dis
persed, the "oldest inhabitant' leading
the way to the door, out of which they
went in n huddle, Once in the street,
they made good time in getting away
from that locality. Finally two of the
most daring volunteered to act as a
committee, and returned to the stable.
They procured light and moved eau.
tously toward the rear end of the build
ing Suddenly one of the accommodating
party broke the death-like stiffness. with
81 know what it is, Bill"
What is itp" inquired his companion
why it's that id billy-goat we put
up in the hay-mow this afternoon TO
keep from drowning. He's fell down
and made all the racket. ID If he
hash eaten up two halters. and he's got
my best sponge in his mouth"
Yesterday afternoon while one of the
relief boats was cruising around in the
inundated district, near Front street. the
occupants espied head looking out of
the third story of one of the flooded
buildings. By this time the craft was
directly under the window, and one Of
the party yelled
Are you suffering much for food up
therep"
Eyes, suffering like HI; send up some
pie. "--Cincinndh Enquirer.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29
STAGES OF THE RIVER.

~ AhiA hiNhhs
The river marked by the gauge last even.
ing at this..port, "a feet 8 inches and ris-
ing.
Cincinnati, March 2s 90 p. m.-River 10
feet 0 inches and falling.
Pittsburgh, March2S-epm-River feet
inches and falling.
Louisville, March 28-6 p. m.-River 8
feet inches and falling.
Nashville, March 28-6 p.m.-River l2
feet inches and rising
Chattanooga, March 80 &c p. m.-River
feet A inches and rising.
ST. Louis, March 2s g p. m.-River II
feet inches and falling.
RIVER ITEMS.
The Gus Fowler will report here this 2
p. m. from Paducah, and leave here on her
return trip at p. IN. She connects with
the trains here going north, south, east and
west
The City OF Providence from St. Louis
arrived here at 7 p. IN. she had a good
trip and departed for Vicksburg at II p.
| m.
The Ella Kimbrough arrived here from
st. Louis last evening at s o'clock. A tele-
gram from Capt Kimbrough informed us
the boat would leave here same night on
her return trip.
The Golden Crown from New Orleans
passed up last with good TRIP for Cincin-
nau.
The Henry A. Tyler left here last even
ing at 4 O'Clock for Plum Point. She had
a fair trip
The Ohio from Memphis is due this
morning for Cincinnati. She is the fastest
boat that goes to Cincinnati from this sec
ton barring the Springer and Hays.
The City of Baton Rouge is due tonight
for New Orleans
The fast Belle Memphis is due for St.
Louis this morning.
The r. r. Springer from Cincinnati is
due here Friday night for New Orleans.
The Andy Baum leaves Memphis to NOR.
row evening for Cincinnati.
Business on the wharf dull yesterday.
The Hudson left St. Louis last evening
for Cairo, Paducah and Shawneetown and
is due here tonight.
The W. II, Cherry arrived at 80 last
night. She had fine trip, about $50 tons
ofiron as one item which she resbipped on
the Belle Memphis.
The Belle Memphis from Vicksburg
passed up for St. Louis last night.
The W. II. Cherry leaves for Nashville
early this morning. Capt. Tom. Gallagher
master.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29
VARIOUS QUACKS.
Who Each with his own Pet Scheme
Cultivate the Field OF Human

There have always been quacks legal qaacks
theological qnacks, scientific quacks and medical
qnacks. Some OF them are bland oily fellows who
argue and smile the world into believing in their
favorite bit Of humbug, Others are pompous and
pretentious parasites. But they make 1t pay Men
seem toloVe TO be swnded, STIMULATING only tina,
it shall be neatly done.
The dear public are equally liberal to the electric
and magnetic fraud. This fellow il a genius In his
line. He will puta magnetic belt around your
waist magnetic necklace under your chin, or Az
you out with an entire suit of magnetic clothes,
warranted to serve the purpose Of ordinary gar
ments, and at the same time to cure all diseases
from whoopng cough to hasty consumption.
Most OF these have no more electric or magnetic
power about them than resides In wooden blank.
cts or in CIR les Of sackcoth. Only when applied
by an expert IL electricity of the slightest use as
medicinal agent, and even then Its aue is grossly
over stated Wru Ia the strongest possible pre-.
sumptive evidence in favor Of a particular remedy
Clearly that 1t should have been prepared by re-
sponsible persons Of acknowled skill In the treat
ment of disease
SquarelY on thi foundation stands BENSON'S
CAPCINE POROUS PLASTER. Endorsed by
5,OOJ physicians, Pharmacists, druggists and chem
ists' IL needs no further apology nor Introduction.
1t is the one and only true and tried external APP
plication Quacks Of all kinds pay the Capcine the
compliment Of their dislike, as Satan is said to
hate holy water
Look In the middle OF the plaster for the word
"CAPClNE." Price 25 cents.
seabury Il johnson Chemists. New York.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29
Crowly's Wandering jew!
SALATHIEL:
STORY OF THE PAST, THE PRESENT AND
THE FUTURE.

BY REV. GEORGE CRoLY.
Undoubtedly the greatest Relipio Historical
Novel ever wrtten."-- Harper's Weekly.
we nave never read book of sucn sustained
splendor OF diction. The sentences are like The
continuous squadrcns Of great army, and his de.
scriptions have all the magnihcence which at.
iaches to the oriental scenery of which he writes.
There are passages Of description In IL,
which, for pomp Of diction and splendor of imag-
cry have never been surpassed Such are the
burning OF Rome by the tyrant, Nero, OF the cap.
ture Of asado, and of the conflicts in the arena At
Rome. STANLEY Matthews.
TWO VOLUMES IN ONE.
Five hundred large IL mo- pages; finely printed
and bound, cloth, 81 30; paper, rs cents.
CHEAP BOOKS.
Send for our catalogue of standard choice and
MISCELLANEOUS books, warranted cheaper than pub
lsher's trade prices. Any book by any publisher,
70 too per cent. cheaper than price asked by
Send money BY p. o. money order registered
ietef or drait't TO HARTER n CO.,
Springfield, o.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29

ANSWER TnIs.--Is there person living
who ever saw case Of ague, billiousness,
nervousness, or neuralgia, or any disease of
the stomach, liver, or kidneys that Hop
Bitters will not cure2
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29

ARE you lonely tonight, Miss Adaln
mo Sir l wish were loneler." lie babe
her good night and went home, took large
dose of Dr. Bulls Cough Syrup, fearing her
icy manner had given him cold.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29
$500 REWARD!

pay the above reward for any Of Liver Complaint
pypepa Sick Headache Indigestion Constipation or Co,tIyene,
cure with Vests Vegetable Liver Pulls when the dire
'on are strictly complied with They are purely vegetable and
never 1 to give satisfaction. Sugar Coated Large boxe, con-
anng ~ pills % een Fer sale by all druggists Beware OF
soanterh and matons The genuine manufactured ouly bv
sohN q WEST CO.. Isl 4 l9 W. Madison St., Chicago.
v A paekass sent by mail prepaid receipt " csnt .amp
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29
Free! Cards and Chromos

we VIII send free by mail sample fet OF our
large German, French ard American Chrome
Cards, on tinted and gold grounds, with price
list at over 900 different designs, on receipt of
stamp for postage. We Will also send free by mall
as sample, ten of our beautiful Chronos, on re.
celpt OF ten cents to pay for pa king and pOstage
also enclose confidential price list of our large
oil chIomos Agents wanted. Address +. GLEA.
Sun y co, Az Summer Street, Boston, Mines.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29

messrs. EdH0ra -
The above ba good likeness OF Mrs. Lydia n. Pink.
man, OF Lynn MASS who above all other human beings
may DO truthfuy called the Dear Friend Of woman
as some OF her correspondents love to cali her sbe
zealousy devoted to her work. which Is the otcono
OF hfestudy, and Is obliged to keen six ladv
assistants, 70 help her the large corespondenca
which daily pours In upon her each bearing ts specIa
burden OF suffering, or Joy at release from il. Hor
vegetable Compound Is a medicine for good and not
eVh purpoees have personally investigated Il and
am satsned OF the truth OF this.
on account or its proven merits II Is recommended
and prescribed by the best physicians IN the country
Ono says 1T works like q charm and saves much
pain twill cure entirely the worst form OF falling
OF the uterus, Leucorrhna, irregular and painful
hensuation, all Ovarian Troubles, Inflammation and
liberation. Floodngs all Dispacements and the con.
sequent spinal weakness, and is especially adapted to
the Change Of Life"
tperrneates every portion Of the system, and pyes
new life and ugor 1t removes faintness, nAtulency,
destroys all craving for stmulants and relieves weak
ness OF the stomach. II cures Bloating Headaches,
Nervous Prosratlon General Debility sleeplessness
Depression and Indigestion. That feeling of bearing
down, causing pain, weight and backache Is always
permanently cured by It's use II viii OF all times and
under all circumstances, net IN harmony with the law
that governs the female system.
lcosts only a. bottle or six for S. and Is sold by
druggist Any advice required AZ TO special cases and
the names Of many who have been restored TO perfect
health by tho Of the Vegetable Compound can be
obtained BY addressing Mira T., with stamp for reply
al her homs In Lynn, Mas
sor kidney Complaint Of either sex this compounds
unsurpassed as abundant testimonials show
Mn. Pinfhain's Liver PlIs" says one writer aare
nt best IN the ieorld for the cure of Constipation,
Bniousness and Torpidity OF the liver Uer blood
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29
TUFTS hair DYE,

URAy HAIR or wHIsKlRs changed 10 Glossy
e3LAUt by q single application of this DYE. u
hnparts natural color, aud acts instantane0usly.
sold by Druggists, or sent by express on receipt
or One Dollar.
Office, e5 Murray Street, New York,
(Dr. TUFTS MANUAL ~ ynlMsbleN
Information and UseftsS 1scsipts
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29
THE DAILY BULLETIN.
RIVER NEWS.
$500

W. II. nAMBDR, river editor OF ruK Ru, xr,u
ana sleamboit passenger agent. Orders for ali
KINDS OF steamboat job printing solicited. Office
NJ bowers European Hotel. No. " Ohio leyee,
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29
Health is Wealth /!

DIR Il. G. VESTS NERVE AND BRAIN TREAT
MENr, guaranteed specific for Hysteria, Dizz-
ness, Conyulsions, Fits, Nervous Neuralgia,
Headache, Nervous Prostitution caused by the Use
OF alcohol or tobacco, Wakefulness, Mental De-
preston, Softening of the Brain resulting in in.
sanity and leading to misery, decay and DEATH
premature Old Age, Barrenuess, Loss of power
IN either SEX Involuntary Losses and Spermat-
orrhna caused byOvcr-exertion of the BRAIN self
abuse or oyer-indulgence. Each box contains
one months treatment. S1.00a bog, or six boxes
orSoOO sent by mail prepaid on receipt of price.
WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES
To cure any case. With each order received byus
for six boxes, accompanied with $500 we will
send the purchaser our written guarantee to re-
fund the money il the treatment does not effect
cure. Guarantees issued onlyby
HARRY w. SCHUH,
Druggist, Cor. Commercial ave. & 18th at. Cairo
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29
NEW ADVERTISEME NTS
CONSUME TION,
lhave positive remedy for tho above dlsea<e; by ia
~ thousands OF cases OF the kind and OF long
naohE nave been cured Indeed, strong my faith
IA US ethcacy, that will send TWO BOTTL III jF "a
yether with VALUABLE TREATISE on this diseas, "a
my sufferer; Give Expresa and +. o. address,
DIR. 4. A. sLocuM, ISL Pearl ST. New York.

DR.. POND of sI An %ondil j; %.,i Z
the enre Of Cancer Those Athlete NICER
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29

They relieve the cng0rgcd Liver, cleanse
the Bio0d from poisonous humors, ana
out which no one can feel well.
Try this remedy fnlrly, and you Will gain
nhenlthy Digest1Ors, Vigorous body ruro
Price. a0Cenis. O0icc, 10 Murray H., N. \.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29
TUFTS
PILLS
A DlSOR pERED LIVER
IS The BANE

OF the present generation. It is for the
Cure OF this disease and It's attendants,
SICK-HEADACHE, BILI0USNESS, DYS-
PEPSlA, CONSTIPATION, PILES, etc., that
TUFTS PILLS have gained worldwide
reputation. No Remedy has ever been
digestive organs, giving them vigor to as
similate food. As o natural result, the
Nervous System Is Braced, the Muscles
are Developed, and the Body Robust.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29
C,laiIls xs1acI Tevcr.

u. RIVAL, Planter nj Bayou Sara, L., says:
My plantation In In o malarial district. For
several years could not make half crop on
account OF bilious Diseases and chills. was
nearly discouraged when began the use OF
TUFTS PILLS. Tho result was marvellous:
WY iNborors soon became hearty and robust,
end have had no further trouble.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-29

The W. II. Cherry leaves for Nashville
early this morning Capt. Tom. Gallagher
master.
National Republican., 1883-10-22
WEST WASHINGTON.

Condition of the Potomac river water
Sunday Oct. 81: At all points. 49,
Yesterday morning Officers Warwick and
Carter found horse astray on the street,
which was afterward turned over to its owner,
Mr. Thomas Il. Fewks
There was no Improvement yesterday in the
condition of Mr.. Francis Wheatley.
Mr.. Rein w. Darby, tho contractor, has
finished the work of turning the old town
hall, on the south side of NJ street. adjoining
the Washington and Georgetown railway
Offices into an engine house for theuse of No.
5 company, which will now have the most
convenient and commodious house in the
department. The engine room is in the first
floor, which is paved with asphalt blocks, on
which are guide rails for the apparatus to run
in and out on. Back of this room are the
stalls, five in number and most complete in
their construction and most approved con-
veniences, and in the rear of them is the sit
ting room for the men. The feed house is n
separate building, back of the main one. In
the cellar, underneath the first floor, is the
boiler for heating the building and keeping
steam on the engine when in the house. On
the second floor are the lockers for the men
and a bath room; also the bunk room. Sliding
rods of brass lead from the second floor to the
engine room. The foremans room is also ON
this floor and an entrance into tho tower for
drying the hose. On the third floor are the
billiard and reading rooms and room for
storing harness. Tho old building was part
of the property turned over to the new gov
ernment by the old corporation, and the work
has been largely paid for by the proceeds
from the sale of tho house at present occu-
pied by the Comnany,
National Republican., 1883-10-22
HOUSE oRNAMENTAT1oN.
Description OF tho Furniture and Up
holstery Establishment OF Mcsus. Sim
gletOn & uoeIke.

Description OF tho Furniture and Up
hoIstery &1stnbIishmont OF Messrs. Sim
gletOn g. JIoeko.
Messrs. Singleton & Hoeke, the progressive
and wide awake Washington merchants, have
just made marked improvements in their
establishment, at the northwest corner of
Eighth street and Market space. The rear
building, fronting on Eighth street. has beon
taken in as an annex and handsomely remod.
eled. 1t has q frontage of twenty-sevcn feet
and is 100 feet deep. The second and third
floors Of this building are used as furniture
warerooms, now departure by the firm, and
q faultless variety of parlor, chamber, dining
room, and library suits are conveniently dis
played The large stock of furniture on hand
mado il necessary for the firm to occupy
portion of the main front building for tho
storage and display of their stock.
The lower 1oor, which is certainly model
storeroom, is devoted exclusively to carpets
curtains, rugs, oilcoths, and magnificent in
terror decorations in great variety. In the
rear of the main storeroom large rack has
been erected for the display of lace and other
curtains, ranging in price from 81 to 300 per
window. A line of imported plush curtains,
with elaborate silk embroidories, valour cur
tains, turkomans, and silk shoillas, in rich
and blending hues, are also exhibited OH the
large rack, which gives that portion of the
store a decidedly unique and celestial appear
ance. The upholstery department con-
tains an assortment of oriental rugs
ranging in price from $3.50 to $500 aud
in all tho newest shades and designs. The
firm makes a speciality of interior decora.
tions and lambrequin work, and have secured
the services of Mr.. w. II. Houghton, who
was in charge Of w. B. Mosess upholstery
department for twelve years. The basement
wareroom is devoted exclusively to oilcloths
and carpets. In its entirety the establish
ment is essentially first class and complete,
Messrs Singleton & Hoeke being enabled by
the new arrangement to furnish either the
lowly cottage or magnificent and palatial
residences of the rich, while convenient
elevators and thorough delivery system
insure promptness and dispatch in the
handling and delivery of goods.
National Republican., 1883-10-22
EAST wASnINGTON.

A very interesting and eloquent sermon
was preached at Waugh M, T., church yester.
day morning by tho pastor, Rev. Wilford
Downs, the subject of which was "The Con-
quest Of Death aud the Grave" At $3.50 and
vival meetings We're conducted by Miss Grace
Woiser of Pennsylvania. These meetings
will be held every evening during the week.
Rev. j. g. lIagey preached yes terday morn
ing and evening at North Capitol NJ. Il.
church to large congregations. The subject
at both services was The Surprises Of Chris
tianity."
The seventh temperance meeting Of tho
series was held Saturday evening Mt Seamen's
retreat in charge of the Soldiers Temperance
union. The meeting was in charge of Mr.. j.
g. Lee, and was addressed solely by soldiers
of the I'd artillery. large number of sol
diers, marines, and sailors were present. In
spite of the rain the eighth aud last meeting
was held yesterday afternoon at $3.50 o'clock
and was largely attended. 1t was conducted
by Mr.. u. w. Reynolds Rev. Dr. Burkhart,
Mr.. II. o. Emmons, and others made addresses.
A force of men are now engaged in painting
the east front of tho capitol. 10 is to have
two coats the first is not yet completed. 1t
will be as near as the color of marble as pos
sible.
The public reservation between X and L
and Fourth and Sixth streets southeast has
been filled in and graded.
Well attended religious services were held
yesterday morning at 1890 o'clock in the
library room of the navy yard by Chaplain
Kramer
National Republican., 1883-10-22
sister LiIy Ramsay,s Funeral.

The funeral of Sister Lily Ramsay, who
was superior of st. Johns sisterhood, during
its entire existence, covering eight years
took place Saturday afternoon at st. Johns
chapel and was conducted by Rev. James w.
Clark, rector of st. James's church, assisted
by Rev. DIR. Leonard, of st. Johns church,
and the Rev. DIR. Harold, Of tho Holy Cross.
Interment was made at Oak Hill. The de-
ceased was member of st. Jamess congrega-
tion, but owing to the fact that that parish
has not yet finished its church, DIR. LeQnard
kindly offered his chapel to DIR. Clark to con-
duct the services in. Tho deceased is a
daughter of the late Gen. George ID. Ramsay,
u. S. A. and sister of Capt. Joseph Ramsay
u. s. A., andCapt. f. NJ. Ramsay, superin-
tondent of the naval academy at Annapolis.
Sister Lily leaves q praise worthy record,
interspersod with acts of charity and kind
ness She founded a hospital and orphanage,
and secured an appropriation of $4,000 from
congress for their support The order was
disbanded on account of the death of a mum
ber of the sisters and the failure to get others
to fill their places. The last resting place of
the deceased is situated in the southeastern
portion of the cemetery. The grave next to
that of Sister Lily contains the remains of
the late Rear Admiral Gustavus III. Scott, U.
S. n.