The Republican journal., 1883-07-12
)ur George on the Accommodating Man.

uCSti fts " Dc CONcltt cilSl IL 1901 uceD WIN
the best article to be found in the market. How
ever useful such person may be in a commun-
ity, he is to himself constant source of trouble
He is milestone hung about his own neck, so
to speak. He stands like an umbrella in a cor
ner, ready for the first person to seize and
spread and carry off, and like the umbrella he
is always borrowed at the very time when the
owner wants to use it himself. Arrangements
are always made for him beforehand. His part
is selected, and his place picked out. If each
event of his life were his funeral, his friends
could not prepare matters in better shape. They
merely remark, "Oh he is all right, he'll do it.
Just go and tell him that Ills all fixed, and he
must do it and he WILL" with which remark they
generally consider the matter settled, and SO it
Is as far as the victim is concerned.
lie is no more free agent than Il pump han
die; he is useful TO others but Il curse to him
self He is never consulted i'll any matter till it
is all arranged. He has no more to say about
it than he had in being born. he simply had 10
be then, else the affair would have been fail
ure. 70 his FRIENDSHIP is Il sort of Il self adjust
ing machine, which can do anything that they
any place. They look upon him Us they do
church organ, upon which any tune can be play
ed, in any Key, provided they blow sufficient
ly, when in reality he is moro like hand or
gan. from which few simple tunes can be in
differently ground out.
But CLEAN of pleasure crccp~ into the ac-
commodating mans soul when he thinks that
tbpr 1, 4l.: 1
no more accommodation in it than a case of
dyspepsia, and that is the small boy He will
not even accommodate himself if he can help it,
mo" rises as naturally in him as cream docs
on 4 pan Of milk. He will not do what he
wants to. if he can possibly do ANYTHING else.
4 natural boy is composed largely of selfish
ness and total deprayity, which keeps working
in him like cider in q barrel, till finally the i'm
purites either work off or settle to the bottom,
and the few good qualities he has develop in
him, but this scliishncss does not begin to thaw
and run ont Of him iii he gets Old enough to
wash his face Of his own accord. am not now
referring to any Of those little Sunday School
book children, who naturally love to be good
and do good, who are thoughtful and polite
and well behaved; who 90 to bed without be-
ing told, and had rather say Il prayer and then
90 to sleep, than to have pillow fight and kick
each other out of bed These little bows never
live more than through the first volume of the
book. But the boys | mean are real boys whom
we all are well acquainted It'll, Those bows
who now and then tell Iic, and wear holes III
their trow,crs, and don't say please Those
| boys who had rather 90 fishing than to Sunday
school, who prefer dime novels TO Bible stories
who would not wash their faces from january
to December, nor comb their hair for the same
length Of time unless obliged TO. These are the
| boys with whom | am best acquainted. these
are the kind that grew up with. that was
one of myself. | never knew but one really
good boy, after the most approved pattern, and
he was aftcrward, hung for murder. believe
| they generally are unfortunate and meet with
some serious accident.
| But when the small Toy gets in love for the
first time, then a change comes over him. lis
| then he sails into the house ana wants to know
if his nose isn't about large enough to own Il
| handkerchief, and he insists on grclsing his
boots, and wearing collars, and he sometimes
goes 50 far H. to astoni>h his parent, by order
| ing 4 neck tie. He now occasionally, in an I'M
| guarded moment. does something that some
| body wants him to. and his hair will almost
| stand alone as he catches himself irving to be
polite. This is the most trying time in a boys
| life. \ mothers prayers may be Of no avail, Il
| fathers commands may fall on a deaf ear, Il
| sisters coaXing and brothers licking come to
naught, but the boy, girl can twist him around
as magnet draws the little tin fishes in dish
Of water. | have looked into Til, matter so far
| that had to use telescope. and | have come
| to the conclusion that the chief use the Lord in
tended little girls for, wa, to grow up with and
make decent men Of the little boys. If ! were
not sure of this and did not know that there
were enough little girls growing III wi what
| boys are now on earth to save them. should
| Immediately destroy what few small male rcla-
tives have, as the Surc>t way of solving their
problem Of life. 1t was this knowledge that
braccd me up ana kept my heart in the right
place, when every time used to carry home Il
new pair of boots, or larger sized box Of col
lars, and every time noticed the little feet
growing bigger and the little hands polng out
| Of the Jacket sleeves and the pants crawling nj
| the lcngthcnin% leg, my heart would have been
heavy enough for good sized elephant, had |
not known that each year and month was
| bringing them nearer to the time when some
body would make them see what could not,
| that the world did not belong exclusively to
them, and that was not holding it in trust for
| them till they We're of age.
| When the change does come the boy is liable
| to ovcrdo the thing, and merge his existence in
TO that unhappy mortal, the accommodating
| man.
There is generally one such man in Il neigh
borhood, and he i like quilting frame, or Il
bed key the property Of all, and i merely kept
| in one place because it is handler to find him
friend, and used for his especial purpose, and
then returned, to wait for the next one who
wants him. lie gets 50 that he is not surprised
| at anything lie comes down town some morn
| ing, to learn that ut such and such Il time he is
going to do this or that, which is the first he
| knows about it. His private affairs are all
managed in the same way He j. engaged,
| married and divorced hundred times a year.
! He meets Mrs. Smith, who cougratulutcs him
| VII MS engagement 10 MISS A.. rs ne uOtS
not happen to know Miss A.. he thinks it a little
| singular, but he meets Mis-. Jones, who tells
| him that it is Miss b. that he is to marry, and
! he wonders whether Miss b. is aware of the
| fact, as he never has mentioned it TO her. and
| before night, when somebody informs him that
| he IS already married to Miss c., his mind is
| filed with breach Of promise eases, bigamy and
| divorces, and he wonders what he has done that
| he should be thus married to every female in
| the community, whether he desires it or not.
| And yet the accommodating man has feelings
| and nerves, rs sensitive and as finely strung as
| other people, but some Of his feelings are indie
| scribabe. How can he describe his feelings as
| he sits i'll his office, and sees coming through
| the door some half dozen lady friends, whom
| ne immediately recognizes as committee wo-
| men" How quickly his practiced eye tells him
| which particular one will sWoop down on him
| with some commission for him to fill, when he
| knows that he can no more fill it than II square
| plug can 4 round hole. And then the subject is
| gently preached and decatcly handled, and he
| resists, and declines. and refuses, and argues