Kimball enterprise. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1883, 1883-06-15
Bits of Fun.

"My son." said an American father,
"how could you marry an Irish girl?"
"Why, father, Pm not able to keep two
women. If marry a Yankee girl I'd
haye to hire an Irieh girl to take care of
| her."
| Little eisht-year.old Gravie on COM
ing home from school was asked by
caller if she intended to be a schoolma'-
am when she got old enough. She
quickly responded: "No, sir; Pm going
to be nothing but just y mother to my
chidrenw
Elderly philanthropist to small boy
who is vainly striving TO pull doorbell
above his reach: Let me help you, my
little man" (Pulls the bell.) Small boy:
''Now YOU had better run, or we'll both
get licking!"-Ftiegende Blatter.
"A Soft Answer" Etc.-Stout Pas
enger (wincing-he had trod on
her best corul: 'Phew,-clumsy ----"
Polite Old Gent: Very sorry, my dear
madam, bat if you had foot large
enough to be seen such an accident
couldn't occurr'-Punch.
People who think themselves smart GO
about asking questions like this: "Can
rope wa.k?' We say yes--when il ie
aut.
1t is said that young lady can never
whistle in the presence of her lover
The reason is obvious, He don't give
in proper position for whistling some
thing else always occurs.
The editors of Stockton, California,
are having it on the gambling question,
The Mail says OF the editor of its con-
temporary: "a man who would whip
saw on ace and attempt to call the turn
by putting las we have often seen him)
four dollars (his weeks salary on card
that was as dead as Thompson's colt, is
hardly the person to discuss this great
cut the Herald says: "A man who
would let his money borrowed from us)
lie on the jack until said jack has passed
to the silent majority, and drunken
check-guerllla appropflates the swag,
while the player, with his eyes on an
other mans bet, fondly supposes he
was coppering the queen, enters this i'm
portant argument considerably handi-
capped
Old Uncle Nose was hired to rem owe
load of rubbish from the residence Of
Col. Percy Yerger, on Austin Avenue.
The old rascal piled on very little loads,
he being paid by the load. Look here
Uncle Mose," said Colonel Yerger, IF
you had'put decent-sized load on that
car you could have carried it all off at
one load" II know it, boss; but my
old hoss am weak, and has iined de
sciety for &c preparation Of cruelty to
animals and it am agin my principle to
put too heaby load on pore ole hoss."
'All right, Nose. l am glad you have
got such good heapt. Do you want a
dram?" The aged African worked his
lips convplsively, and CALCULATED: Does
l want dram? Boss, Use perishin' for
q dram. Thank yer, boss; thank yer
kindly for dat ar dram youam gwine ter
glib me-" Not go fast, Uncle Nose. l
merely asked youif you wanted a drink.
| would like to give you one, but dnow
that you are like your old horse; you
are rather weak, and have already got
rs big load as you can carry. Besides
I am member of the Austin Temper
ance Society, and it is against my prin.
ciple to encourage drunkenness"
Colonel Eerger, has always knowed
yer for a jayhawk lawyer, but now
knows yer fer mean man, and de
worst enemy OBJ de culled race in Aus.
tin H-Ieyas Siftinrs