The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-03-10
A Sewing Machine Agent.


Inc sewing machine agent is of all
ages and sizes, and f1ourishes luxu-
rlantly in all clImes. He travels in
a light spring wagon, drawn by two
sore'backed ponies. He carries 1.-THE
pest machine in the worId'' in his
wagon. and has his name in gilt let
tiers, painted on the sides of the We
hicle. He inhabits the cities and
towns, but is often found in rural dis
trlcts. He knows that he is a public
oenefactor, and is therefore not at all
modest about forcing his family
olessing on the people. When he
rlues up to house he bitches his
nourse TO the fence and instead of
staholng at the gate and shouting
Hello ! Mister. does your dog bite?"
as other travellers do. he boldly walks
up to the house. and, if. no one is
arodna'sgsaitass IS a seat on the g59lfiepy
and begins to whistle. He does not
whistle to keep his courage up. for.
confident that he is engaged in a good
ana noble cause. he does not fear
dogs, He is there on a beneficent
errand. His mission is to cheer the
vile, comfort the daughter and make
the OLD man buy them anew-improv-
ed'scroll-spring, side-bar, adjustable
seven wheel, lock-stitck, Grover and
singer sewing machine. He tells
the old lady that he sees her health
Is giving away, and the old Wheeler
ana Baker machine that she uses is
the cause of it. He has known fifty
ladies' whom that machine has hur-
rled to an untimely end and an early
grave. He tells the daughter that he
IS unmarried, going to settle in the
county, and hopes she will let him
call on her when he is in the yicini-
ty. He informs the old farmer that
ne 1.-THE old farmer) has more good
agricultural sense than any man he
has yet met in the State. Then he
lghtens up the fifth wheel of the
machine, and starts it to sew. He
shows how much lighter it runs than
than any other machine. how easy it
Is to adjust, and how much superior
the new turbide take-up is to the old
four-motion crank still used in all the
rival machines. He asks them to
examine thesmouId- board on the off
stationary arm and the French burr
take-up on the stern, and then in
quires if they do not think that the
perfection of mechanicism, and very
unlike the cheap rattle-traps that all
the other companies are now making
with view to swindle the public;
filling their Golfers, while they ruin
the health of thousand of mothers.
and wear the bloom off the cheek of
the fairest in the land. He warrants
it for fifteen years. Then he flutes
and fells, hens and braids, and never
fails to turn loose that originality,
''seW it seams" while he speaks of
the simplicity. durability and elias
ticity of the stitch.
A good sewing machine agents
tongue will make seventy-five oscil-
lations and three laps per minute and
keep on the track nine consecutive
hours without refreshments. 1t is
not to be inferred, however, that the
sewing machine agent is Indifferent
to refreshments. His stomach is like
his machine always in order and
adjusted to any size, style. thickness
or quality of goods. He eats corn
bread and fat bacon, when he cannot
get chicken and cake. He can eat a
pound of butter to square foot of
corn broad, and when there is no but
ter he is equally fatal to molasses.-
Texas Siflings.