Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1883-12-28
MIRTH AND INCREMENT

!
a remarkably happy family boarded
Fourth avenue horse-car this morn.
ing. There were three servants, three
boys under ten, a Skye terrier, q Per
sian cat, two canaries, and an alarm
clock. For time all went well Sud
denly one Of the boys, who had been
winding up the clock, act the alarm
ringing. The dog barked and struggled
IN the arms of the girl who held him.
The cat thereupon flew ut the dog, the
canaries' cage WAS overturned, thereby
splitting about a pint of water over a
lady's dress, and the whole car was
thrown In the direst state of confusion,
IL took the conductor twenty minutes
to restore order by removing The cat to
one end Of the car while the dog re-
NAMED, at the other.
The Philadelphia youth is growing
more and more precOcious. Az up
town grammar school boy became 40
obstreperous yesterday that his teacher,
new in her vocation, young and pretty,
determined to try the plan of keeping
him In. After school she sat with grim
determination until it became dark and
then she Let him depart. What was
her astonisbment at the gate to find the
youth awaiting her. He greeted her
with. :" It's too dark fer young lady
to be alone on the streets Will you
allow me to see yon home ?"
How do you like my jersey ?" sad
Mrs. Blim to her husband. cit ia quite
nice, dear, but when a woman has
head as red as yours--" faint red.
You mean thing it's auburn /" inter.
rupted Mrs. b., savagely. "Well, sweet,
when woman has head as auburn az
yours she shouldn't get jersey Of the
same color, for If she went out on the
roof to hang out clothes the neighbors
might see her and turn in an alarm
OF fire, and" Mr.. Blim had occa.
sion just at this time to 60 into another
room.
Last week gentleman of this city
was pouring over what to give young
lady friend, and at last decided that
1t should be ring, and said to her
" Now, my dear friend, what kind of q
ring would you like ? 1t is so very puz.
cling there are 10 many sorts. "Well,
Mr.. Smith, one, you know, don't like
to make a choice in these matters
little delicate, you understand But
really, if you insist upon 1t, l should
like an engagement ring dearly !" was
the innocent reply.
A letter in Western paper says
F." Landing from a stage coach trip
through the mountains in California, we
were saluted by one of the prominent
citizens Of the settlement with the
emphatic assurance that he was the up
roarious dust-snortSr of the Yosemite,
and the how ling wolf of the Mariposa
sheep ranch, and don't you forget it.
We prudently said nothing, and didn't
forget"
" was to be married, you know"
said Blooms to his friend. Clark, "bu'
g.guess it's off, you know, for & good. 1"
" How is that ?" asked Clark. This
way" replied Blooms. She said |
she'd marry me, you know, when all
were r-removed." Eyes"
" Well, l asked her last night if they
were not all--aw--r-removed you know,
and she said no. l s-still s-stutter."
Two San Francisco women are at law
about wedding-dress, each claiming
it, and the testimony ia so mixed that
the judge can't decide. Let him try
Solomon's scheme with the woman aud
the baby Let him threaten to spill
plate of soup or dish of ice cream on
the dress ! The woman who screams
and calls him - mean old thing" will
be the real owner.
Miss Edith has just favored the com
pany with brilliant performance on
The violin. Miss Edith's ma to her
neighbor: 81 do SO admire the violin
Your daughter plays, I suppose
Mrs. DePorque: "Well, no; Alicia
ant play the violin, but she plays
on the bandoline. You
snow she was two whole months at the
Paris Observatory"
A philosopher who had borrowed
ome money to pay for his nights lodg.
ny at a hotel, woke up in the night and
Jaw a person climbing through the
window. With admirable noncl alance
10 said to the intruder Look here,
ny friend, you'll get into debt If you
oh me, for you won't find anything |
Tut unreceipted tailors' bills III my |.
rockets" X
A capital anecdote is told of . little
elbow who, in turning over the leaves
f a scrap book, came across the we |.
,nown picture of some chickens Just
ut of their shell. My companion ex-
mined the picture carefully, and then, &
it'll a grave, sagacious look at me,
lowly remarked : "They came out !
EOS they was afraid of being boiled"
A gentleman who is no longer