Connecticut western news., 1883-09-26

The farmer Stslu uotuluS puU AoA down, picked up, an over,ripe melon and fired it right at the deecon's head
 'There," he exclaimed; "by the time yer git them 'ere seeds out O yer ha'r you'll find out~how my folks is."-1@e Dairy.
 A DEGREE OF INTIMACY.
 Mrs. Richesse, whose money enables her to live in swell suburban neighbor- hood, but does not give her the entree to the best society, was away for the summer and met several persons who knew all the best people. One day lady asked Mrs. R.:
 ''Mrs. Richesse, do you know the Elans ?''
 'sNot personally, though quite well by reputation" Sas.. ''They are lovely people and you should meet them, And the Browns, 10 you know them? ?"
 "They are our next door neighbors.
 "Indeed. Then you know them in- timately ?"
 "Well, no, not exactly. Our families can hardly be said to be very intimate, and Mrs. B. has never called, but their coachman is engaged to our hired girl, and the degree of intimacy existing is sufficient to permit his coming over to our house seven nights in the week and wearing all the paint off the back steps.
 SHE KNEW THE DIFFERENCE.
 "And yet you don't seem to under stand the difference between misf0ftune and fault"
 "Pshaw, Topnoody, you make me tired. If there is anything Z do not un- stand, itis that one differehce."
 "I don't believe you"
 Don't youP We'll, I'll soon convince you. Iaccepted you as husband, didn't IF" asked Mrs. Topnoody. "Yes."
 'That was my misfortune. l could have refused you, but didn't"
 "I-I-suppose so.
 "Well, that was my fault. Now, Topnoody, do you meap to tell me that I don't know the difference be- tween-L" But MT. Topnoody had to go to see his friend. Merchant 1TGveter.A
 PLANTATION PHILOSOPHY.
 De laugh ob a fool is better furAde worl' den de growlin' ob smart man.
 It ain't de braves man what fears death de least. De bigges' coward eber seed killed hissef. De dove may hab been de fust ter find dry lam !, an he's just boat de fust bird ter find de wheat when it sprouts in de fer.
 Neber fine fault wid de chile, case he seems ter want bread too often. De young mockin' bird ken eat twice as much as de ole 'un. De sickness what comes arter too much 'joyment is keener den de sick ness what comes ob hunger. Too much sugar an whisky is mighty pizen. It is mistake dat edycation makes nigger lazy. Bout de fastest runnin' I eber seed was done by 8 edycated nigger dat wanted ter git outen de community. De preachurs shouldn't grumble 'case folks doan' git good all at onct. Yer may watch as close as yer please an yer kaint see de cotton stalk grow, but it gifts dar arter awhile.
 HIS EDUCATION WAS NEGLECTED.
 The street lamps had just been lighted as they emerged from the ball ground. Clinging closely to his arm she said:
 'sDarling, do you love meP"
 "Yes, Elnora, you are my only com fort and joy. The thoughts that are ever uppermost in my mind at home and in the office, are that some day you'll be my bride"
 "How kind of you, Hickey, to talk thus; would that it were in my power to speak the same way of you"
 eThen you do not love me, Elnora. and wherein have offended?"
 'Your education, Rick, has been sadly neglected"
 "In what respect, may ask, File; did I not carry off high honors at the high school?"
 "You did, indeed, my faithful chaper- on, and can make out an insurance re- ceipt as prettily and in as rapid man. ner as any clerk in town"
 "Thank you for as much as that, File, but what other accomplishment must add to call you my ownP"
 "Learn to play baseball, Hickey, and become good catcher, then the town will ring with praises of you, and my cup of happiness will be full"
 "By jove, darling, I'll do it. These soft hands will learn to catch balls hot from the cannon's mouth, even if every taper finger becomes thumb, and every thumb and each palm is split in twain in the attempt. I'll raise nine which shall electrify the town, yea, the whole country"
 With fearful eyes she looked up into his face and said: "Now, darling, you are my only joy" and they chose quiet nook and sat down to rest.