Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-12

"I'll tell you how it is," said he;
"I'm from Pittsburgh, and I've come
into little money after working
hard all my life. I've always said I'd
like to dress up first class from head
TO toe, though / never really expect
ed to be able to. But now Nv got
quite some money, and I'm agoing to
go back in as good shape as any man
in Pennsylvania. What'll be the
price of the best umbrella?"
"well," said the clerk, Eve have
got them at from So to s75-the gold
headed ones are $75."
"Cracky" !" said the young man, I'll
have to change my tune, guess. l
don't want to be fool. A silver
headed umbrella will do, and $40 will
be the outside figure. You see, l
didn't know how much things cost
First l went and got silk drawers, silk
undershirts. and silk stockings. The
stockings cost So a pair, and the shirts
and drawers SO apiece. l got two
sets, and.that cost $50. Then l got
two shirts for two dollars each, and a
couple of dollars worth of collars
and cuffs. The first time | got set
back was when went for a hat. 1t
was on Broadway. | amt going off
Broadway, because | want the best.
Well, wanted the highest priced hat,
and they brought out one for $25-
the darndest looking thing ever you
saw. 1t was white, and made of otter
fur. l got this silk one for SO, and
| guess this is good enough. l went
to tailor's and got n nice black
diagonal suit for $50, and a beaver
overcoat, lined with satin, for 800.
There may be higher priced clothes.
but the goods suited me, and the tailor
said there wasn't anything better for
me in his shop if was the biggest
man in Pennsylvania. That's what l
want. Pm close as a monkey on a
floating log, but I'm going to fit out
first class just for &pce, if l save all
the more the rest of my life. I've got
to wait here most q week for my
clothes, and Pm paying SO day in
doors and about as much outdoors, but
| don't care just this once"
He got n silver-headed umbrella
for $50. He asked what a pair of
sleeve buttons would cost, and was
visibly amazed at hearing that he
might pay 500 for intaglios and as
high as $50 for gold ones. He got u
pretty pair for s1S. He paid $12 for
a gold pencil and So for silver
toothpick, although the clerk showed
him toothpicks for double the money.
A set of shirt studs worth S120 stag
gered him, and he got a moderately
plain set for $40. He said he want
ed q match box, but on being shown
one for $500 said that as it was the
only one worth having, and yet was
ridiculous thing to pay so much for,
he wouldn't buy any. FINALLY he
came to the watches.
"Now," said he, 81 want a good gold
watch, and | want one that / won't be
ashamed to haul out before any lady
in the world. The truth is | don't
live right in Pittsburgh, but / come
from close by there, and there's a
good many swells where l belong, and
I'm worth more than the whole of
'em, and l ain't agoin' to take a back
seat when / get there. suppose
you can show me watches for $500
-"
"Seven hundred dollars, sir" said
the clerk; "our repeater and split
second watches are 500. But if you
want a good first-class watch, as good
for all practical purposes as any that
was ever made, take one Of these for
5000.
That-is what the young man did,
though not until he had handled a
500 watch for several minutes most
tenderly and with longing in his eyes.
He could afford it, he said, but he
thought it would be foolish.
Curious thingw he said, quite ir-
releverantly; 81 don't feel as if had
SO much money, after all. / came
here to get the very best of everything,
but / believe when / go back won't
have any of the highest-priced things
except shoes, hat and underclothes.
Now, / thought 81 would buy the
best shoes on Broadway; but when !
came to get them they cost s1S. They
are beauties though. They have
medium soles and patent leather up
over the foot, about like slipper, and
from the leather up above the ankle
they have what are called stockingets,
that is, black silk uppers with flesh
colored kid under them" 1923
"But they are evening Shoes"
"Oh, are they? Well, l don't care
what they are. l guess they'll take
the cake where they're going, day or
NVolI ..l,k l. ..o.. ...~-~.. II