The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-11-02
F-OOLISHNESS.

= one ol duluunh, hts tue goii fca'o
well, wife. you can't say I ever con,
trscted bad habitsI" No, sir; you
generally expand them.
Profanity pays occasionally. A par
rot with the largest assortment Of
oaths fetches the biggest price.
Anew Jersey lady wsded out and
pulled In her husband, who was drown
Ing. As usual she grabbed him by the
hair.
Darwin says that the monkey can
blush. He certainly ought TO when he
sees the way his descendants are cut
tlngup.
Takes the cake-the tramp. He also
takes anything else he can fasten his
talons on, from the hen house to the
clothes line.
The difference between a besotted
man and IA pig is a slight IL at best.
Ones a hunting grog and the others a
grunting hog.
The time of young ladies is divided
into two parts. Half of the time they
wait for the mails, and the other half
for the males.
"Will there be WARP" asks the timid
editor. The chances are that if he re-
fuses to give his wife the price of a new
fall bonnet, war is inevitable.
Rather says the cures effected by lay
ing on of hands are an old story with
him. His mother often INDUCED in
the pasttime IN times past.
Some unknown person attempted to
break into the editors house recently.
but discovered his mistake and escaped
before the editor could rob him.
The latest agony is for a young lady
TO have a dog to match her dress. We'd
like 10 see a crushed strawberry dog
in fact, any kind of a crushed dog.
A gallant railroad engineer met a
girl in the morning, cOurted her all
day, and in the evening married her.
That was sort of a locomotive spark.
"What do you think of FieldingP'
she asked OF young Mr.. Tawmus. "Oh,
its important, of course, but it won't
avail anything without good batting?"
The moral side of it: "And, so Miss
Fuller, you think Miss Johnson did
wrong to go on the stage in tightsp'
Indeed | do. Why. her limbs are as
thin as pipe-stems."
Il was so mad at George lsat night"
said a girl of her sweetheart. EYES,"
said her ill-natured brother, IL noticed
when l looked in the parlor that you
were up IN arms" nv
Al title eperaln Dublin a gentleman
sarcastically asked a man standing up
in frontUf himtfhe was aware he was
Opaque. The other denied this allega-
'tion, and said he was 0'Brien. lFEw
IL don't like to have my husband
chew tobacco" remarked a young mar
ried lady, "but l put up with it, for the
tin-toll is just too handy for anything
in doing up my front crimps."
The difference between the business
OF a circus advance agent and u drug
gist seems to be this: 1.-THE first spends
much Of his time in the posting of his
bills; the latter In boasting his pills"
A woman who is kissed by mistake
IN the dark always screams and makes
agreat row about it, but you can wager
she is provoked in another way when
the man commences to offer excuses
and says he wouldn't have done it If he
had known whom it was.
mo George, l can never return your
love; l never dreamed you loved me
80; you should have spoke of it before.
But cannot return your love-" NO."
moaned the broken hearted lover, as he
Rrasped his hat, "nOr the oysters and
lce-cream either and George went out
in the wet.
Ben Butler says he "has made his
W way in the world because he lived
on a farm when he was a boy" That's
about it. If he couldn't learn to throw
astone with accuracy and fury on a
Massachusetts, farm, it wouldn't be for
lack of raw material. 1t is, indeed, a
living wonder the boy could ever learn
anything else.
See here, sir" exclaimed a grocer
bristling up with righteous Indignation
as the milkman made his morning call,
"Ishould like you to explain how the
chalk and white clay that | found in
my coffee cup this morning got there"
Don't know l am sure" said the milk.
man, unless you sweetened your coffee
with the same sugar you sold me yes
terday."
Statistics state that there are two
million widows in the German empire
1t has heretofore understood that
young men leave Germany for this
country in order to escape compulsory
military service. but after reading the
foregoing statement we are in possess
sion Of a'much better reason for their
emigration.
A mar in Judge Geddes' district in
Ohio was in the habit of visiting a