The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-08-29

dIloN III l-dlSlN "hd 'o'"l w A"' !"
come here.
The man who never saw railroad
train died again recently in Wakefield,
n H., aged 100 years. Ignorance OF
railway travelling appears to be conduc-
i've to long life. LOloeH Citizen.
1t doesn't take a northern invalid very
long to get well in Florida. When the
first weeks hotel bill is presented he
| generally says: Il guess IN well enough
to start for home. this afternoon. -
Blue Horse, good Indian, writes to
the Great Father at Washington to send
him a glass eye and cane. Blue Horse
will be taken for dude if he doesn't
! mind how he acts.
Euchered. Jack (admiringly): You
are trump, Miss Marian" Miss M:
'Why do you call me such a name as
thats2n Jack (triumphantly): Because
of your taking tricks
At recent donation party the preach
er received a large quantity of half
cooked bread, and he says now he doesn't
want any more ''doughnation parties
in his
,rG-shooS ont If tha bnt3i ,l;ndnIr 70 ~
tho town ponar annor,nc,.d thot tho botai
bod o,.on+nd no,,, cummings nf on rniono
design.
1t was darling George" when a
$780, 80, at Cninaro. at notroit il ,ros
..CoGro.o ;, and vbon 40 rooobe5
~ pous = ,,-os ..S.,- [-o,t,i
An old Judge tolo young lawyer ne
would do well to pick some OF the 1eath-
ers lr2'n inc WINS Oh his lill " u
anu e''cA 'ii''i' IU'o '''e '"ii Vi HIS J"oSS'
lileht'
The AeW Orleans P'cayit'ac has dis
covered that the dule has two watch
chains. but no watch. The dude Is not
such fool as he looks, Tor he knows
that the weight Oh Watch would make
MN po"-'eS-7e"
Mean sand the leNaH man OF ms
nelghbor, why thefe lsn drop ol
the mix III human hlhahesS III lha'
man oodl. ne S"t ooG 'h"t aG
e!@%ahI IuhiCh io' "v"h ouIi-P''P' auu
ne won let EN- h%hi.
A Milton man who a few weeks ago
kihalE oiiefea 10 snare MS De' ana D"aro
win an lilPeou"'ons acquaintance
somewhat addicted 10 incompetence
says he Is suffering from an attack o.
room-ma'e-i7fl,- -Rt3oN AcfS.
A fashion item states that Tine Bos-
ton Young man is beginning to wear eye
glasses and knee brooches. Well, the
on" necesaitateS the other The average
l's'>'on y""h@ man needs the eye GLASSES
III "r''er 10 S''.' us l'17'--f "o"-
seven years az" last January couple
near Bennington. VI, qu1rreled as tc
who saouli Ii1nt the IRE IN the parlor
and from ihi day to lhs none has beer
made ia tAI room, A word 10 the wist
l. sum am az -" ''' man vi 'i'' 'fS.S'
w VI '"i'ea i'''' ''''''i '''' i'i'''''''''iiss
'''"' ~''''''
Iiftg'. Vas it a small, white, cur
dorg, with blue ribbon round his neck
yer was lookin' for, MiSs?' Yes
gasped the Young lady in anxious sus
pense. Wen, Jack Adams Newfound
land Purp, he ) a-gone and sWallere'
MN lhey carried hef MO the near
est drug store.
JOHNNY" said the schoolmistress
YOU have been a very naughty boy
Now 90 and stand in the corner wit!
your face to the wall until tell you YOU
may 90 TO your seat. > PLEASE marin,
said Johnny, III turn my lace to th'
wall IL nave to turn my BACK 10 Nol
ana the scholarS' won tflal DE fi'''t?
The maiden point of view: Mamma
(to Maude, who has been with her brothe
to the play and is full of it)-''Bat wa
there no love in the piece, them Mau i
-''LoveP Oh, dear, no, mamma. How
could there be? The principal eharac
tiers were husband and wife, You know
; London Punch.
The composerof Home sweet Home, ;
, is moldering in the grave; the compose
! of Kathleen Mavourneenn is old ant
+ poor, and the composer of ''Grandfath
er's Clock and Over the Garden Wall
= is an outcast who dares not venture nea
civilization for fear of being hit with
brick or something. Phildde!phia Ncf0S
A man who had thumped his wife up
til she died of a broken heart sought t,
deceive his friends by having an ex
cellent photograph of her copied in OF
, colors and exhibiting it as a proof o
his love and fidelity. How does tina
look?'' he said to a friend; lido YOU
, think that can be beat?" Not now,
was the sarcastic reply.
The Caseys sent the Browns n peac
: offering in the form of a box of candle
7 at Sacramento. The families had beef
4 enemies for years, and the Caseys ha
e been by far the more vindictive of tn
: two; so the Browns were ineredulous
t and tried some of the sweet token Q
/, amity on dog. The brute died of tn
: strychnine that was in it
5 A famous North Carolina clergyman
: while preaching few Sundays ago iron
A the text. HE giveth His beloved sleep,
: stopped in the middle OF his discourse
Z oaZpd uOon his Stun berlDp cQnprepatlO