The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-10-16
A BACHELORS BABY.
How a Bachelor Breckenridge Far
mer Became a Daddy, and How
He Performs the Duty Of
a Parent.

" d1euvs
The other day story was told us
of something that recently befell a jo-
vial old bachelor farmer this coun-
ty, who lives near the Hardin county
line, which we are assured is ''true as
gospel" and which is too good to
keep. So we will tell the story as
twas told TO us, only substituting
fictitious for the real name of the par
ty.
One morning in the early days of
August, Mr.. Plowhandle arose from
his couch while yet black night was
coquetting with pale morn, the fad
ing stars above and the timid dawn
just peeping over the eastern hills
the sole witnesses of their Irritation.
Here and there the shrili clarion of
some wakeful chanticleer sounded
shrilly on the quiet air, and the
hoarse. bark of an honest Watchdog,
and the musical baying of the hound,
were the only other sounds that
broke upon the stiffness. Mr.. Plow-
handle awoke his colored cook and
the farm hands, and started out into
the yard for mouthful or two of
bracing morning air.
In front Of the door of what is in
law denominated mans castle,
which confers upon him the inaliena
bleright of defense, is one of those mar
row contracted little architectural
monstrosities yclept porticos, probab-
ly because they resemble'a portico
about as much as they do church
steeple.
On opening his door and stepping
out upon the alleged portico, Mr..
Plowhandle's foot struck against
bundle, and from the bundle instant
ly arose noise that was a cross be-
tween cry and squall.
"By gannyw exclaimed Mr.. Plow-
handle, "what in thunder is this?"
STOPPING down he found whatever
it was wrapped in a coarse wooden
shawl. Picking it up, his ears were
| saluted with the unquestionable COO
ing of an infant.
Proceeding straightway to the
kitchen where Dinah, the cook, was
lighting the fire, Mr.. Plowhandle ap-
preached the table on which he de-
posted the bundle near the lamp.
$40 goodness, Mass Jim, what dat
you got?' said Dinah, sticking a
match to the kindling and coming 10
the table.
Dang if I know" responded Mr..
Plowhandle. at is something 1
found out on the portico just now"
By this time Dinah's nimble fingers
had removed the wrappings, and a
bouncing baby of about four months
smiled up into her face from pair of
laughing blue eyes, shook its chubby
fists wildly in the air, and kicked out
delightedly with pair of fat dim
pied feet.
"De Lor' bress us y exclaimed Din
all. "Efdis don't beat de worrw
"Well, I'm blowed !" cried Mr..
Plowhandle. "Where on earth did
it come from?"
"Ah! Mass Jim," said Dinah, a
twinkle in her eye, 81 spect you
know all bout dis youngster."
"Blamed if this amt the first time
l ever saw or heard of it" he respon-
ded.
"Dat'll do to tell dem what don't
know muffin" responded Dinah.
"Why, anybody wild haf an eye kin
see dat it's de berry picter oh you.
"Dinah, what do you mean?" a
blush rising upon and reddening his
honest brown face like sunset on a
pumpkin. IVA Hfj1 4.
"You know we'll huff what / mean,"
said the sable dame, shaking her
head. "And to tink dat you, Mass
Jim, de las man in, de worP anybody
would spicion oh playin' notify tricks.
Well, well; it's an ole sayin' dat one
don't know any man twel he's foun'
out"
"Tell me what you meanw ex-
claimed Mr.. Plowhandle, touch of
anger in his voice.
'Do YOU spect any one to b'lieve,"
: was the answer, '.dat a baby'd be lef
ON any ones hams but its daddy's?
Do you s'pose de nanny OBJ leetle
angel like dis would leave it wild any
4 body dis way but its own daddyw
"Dinah, you are fool?' blurted
: out Mr.. Plowhandle.
Q ''Dut not a bigger fool dan you
: made OBJ de muddcr OBJ dis baby
Z was the quick response.
''But | tell you ! don't know any
s thing about the mother OF the baby
l never laid eyes on 1t until you un'
bundled il here; and I'll be hanged
: if you or any body else shall make
f me daddy without my knowledge Of
: consent"
J. 'Datll do to tell,' persisted Dinah
o "Dat's what you all say when yot
II git into scrape of dis kline. But d,
I question is, now dat de baby's com
j. home, whatyou gwine to do bout 1t |?
i 81 tell you it's not my bratw MI
It Plowhandle persisted, "and | don
: know what TO do with it. Itwon'