The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-06-01
WITTICIsMS


more Tasping than a file Of unpaid bills
The New York Star asks in an edi-
torial. "Is it crime to be a woman ?"
Not exactly; but it is rather hard luck.
Indeed. sir, ] would box your ears"
-(pausing, reAectiyelyl-~but where
could find a box large enoughG"
So far as we are concerned style IS no
object, tor we would just as leave walk
to a cemetery as ride in a hearse.
Patrick on the zebra: -Phat koind
Nv a basic is that-the mule with his
ribs on the outside of his skim entire
Typ
Jeems says his boarding house is too
slow. He told the old lady yesterday
that hereafter he'd like to dynamite
earlier.
An Indian idol was recently found in
Kansas. 1t was made of earthen ware
was brown in color. and has a handle.
1t will hold two quarts.
You say your brother is younger
than you, yet he looks much older"
YES. he has seen a great deal of trouble;
but | never married"
Two st. Louis lawyers called each
other dirty puppies" in court the other
day. Neither was on oath, but their
evidence was deemed conclusive.
Never engage in anything you would
not open with prayer" said a strict Or
thodOx preacher. He did not say what
he would do with a dozen oysters.
A travelling printer, for want of en-
ployment at his trade, went to work on
a farm. lie came one day to ask his
employer if a hen should be set solid.
81 am of the opinion that the pulpit
should ignore the press in a matter like
this" growled the newly married man
as the minister Rugged and kissed the
bride.
A Connecticut man has invented a
fire escape which will not work until
the hotel bill is paid. There is great
enthusiasm among landlords over the
invention.
Fred Bean, an Iowa STRIPPING, has
married the daughter of a Sioux chief
The tribe will now enjoy Bean's-whoop
or Bean's-soup-or perhaps it be spelled
Bean ~Siouxpy'
The actress. Katie Putnam, has beer
elected an honorary member of fire
company No. 5, of Mobile. Probably
the members were fascinated by the
way she managed her hose.
An elderly man in Boston is 80 polite
and loving, that when he is dining will
the young lady of bis heart, he put
syrup on his bald head to attract file.
and prevent them from annoying her.
A correspondent writes: "You wan
TO know what kind of fruit an axletret
bears. Why, nuts. of course-one OF
each end of the tree" We though.
some felloe of the Hub would be able t
tell us.
why" asked a governess of her lit
tie charge, "do we pray to God to give
lis our daily bread. Why don't we ash
for four or FIVE or a week p Because
we want it fresh" replied the ingeniou.
child.
Il haf only Won brice for my goots,
said one of our "clodlnk" merchants t.
n customer the other day. and then il
an aside to his head clerk he added with
wink, land dot vas te brice he is will
ing to gift"
1t is said that a young lady can neve
whistle in the presence of her lover. TIL,
eason is very obvious. He dOesn'
give her a chance. When she gets he.
lips in proper position for whistlinj
something else always occurs. Sa,
nothing.
yes" said Blggs, II enjoy a glass nov
and then but | deny myself, fearingtha
might take too much and say some
thing foolish" "NonsenseW exclaimet
Fogg; drink, if you like it. Say wha
you will, nobody will ever suspect tina
you've been drinking-that is nobod.
who knows you, you know"
If some men had their way the,
would hang all the men who drinl
murder the men who swear, Danish tn,
men who chew and smoke, and leav,
the world d~epopulated except the yer,
few who have none of these vices t
dlscard) who would revel.in their favor
tie shortcomings and besetments.
"Will you give a poor fellow. who i
racked with fever and ague, a dime t
buy some quininew asked a Westches
ter county tramp. why. l gave you
ten cents less than an hour ago" "Oh
so you did. l didn't recognize you
Well, | spent that dime for whiskey
You don't spose a man can eat quinn,
clear, do your"
A domesticated man of Chicag,
says: Twins and triplets are the littl,
surprise packages in life's lottery tina
An NOM fhan anvth;oo oloo -.