The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1883-11-02
WHY WE LAUGH.

The horseshoe is shoer sign an6 the only
one we know of-BostOn Transcript.
The wise turkey gobbler is already casting
his eye aloft in search of high Thanksglv-
Ing roost.
The new comet Is near Eta Draconis. or
course you will have no trouble now In find
ing it.-Oa City Derrick.
It's said that Rhode Island produced, this
year. more apples than any other acre Of
ground in the United States.
Mount Jefferson Davis Is the highest peak
In Nevada. Old jefferson Davis Is the high
est case of pique in the United States.
A mis- Is Japanese measure Of length of
], 1,500 yards long. This Is mis- that Is very
nearly as good as mile.-Rocheste. Post
Express.
The rumor that Frank James is looking
for half interest in Missouri weekly pa
per Is denied BY his friends. He thinks the
revolver mightier than the pen.
The new two cent stamp must 60. 1t
shows the head of Washington "out of
plumb" whereas everybody knows that gen
tleman was particularly level headed.
A Western man calls his trotting horse "2."
The animal, it Is supposed, has only been
successful In two races, hence his odd name.
Twice won's "2."-Norristop Herald.
1t costs only $3.50 to steal an old horse,
file down his teeth, dye his coat, and sell
him to some man wanting four-year-old
stopper. That was the figure given in Indi-
anapolis.
Archibald Forbes, the famous war cores
pondent, 10 going to marry q Washington
belle. This Is the first and only engage
ment Forbes has figured in without writing
it up.-Pittsbarg Telegraph.
A health journal ADVISES, "Do not lie on
the left side" This Is very proper admo-
milton. If you are Obliged to lie be careful
and lie on the right side. You will find 1t
pays In the end.-LoueH Citizen.
We have every reason to doubt the exist.
ence of the Giants Causeway and the wen.
derful cliffs which are said to line the north
ern and western coasts of Ireland, as the ISL
and 10 well known to abound in shamrocks.
Judge.
A common brick, very dry, will, absorb
quart of water. The perfect brick of the
human variety, however, although he Is al
ways dry, wouldn't absorb quart Of water
in years drinking. Herein is seen the su-
periority Of mind over matter.
At church sociable at Goshen, Mo-, Miss
De Land has been voted the prettiest woman
In the place, and Miss Day the next hand
soonest. The proceedings might have been
concluded by singing the hymn: "There's
De Land that is fairer than Day."-Roches-
ter Post.
A lady In Toronto got to laughing over
some amusing incident and couldn't stop.
Finally doctor was called 10. aud he could
not quiet her. As last resort some one
had to tell her that her back hair was coming
down.-Citizen.
Mgr. Capel was asked what struck him
most forcibly In this country, and he re-
piled: "The precociousnsss of children"
He says thst while in Baltimore the arch
bishop took him to call on lady. While
making tha visit boy, aged four years, came
In the room, and his mother said: "My son,
speak to the archbishop" He obeyed readi-
ly, and, holding out his hand, said: "How
do, Arch ?"-Comier-J Journal.
In Hartford, Conn.,, the other day, Dem
ocTat met Senator Eaton on the street.
"What do you think Of the prospect of 1884,
Senator ?" "Don't know" "Well, aren't our
prospects pretty bright?" "Dont know"
Hasn't Ohio gone Democratic ?" "Why,
yes" "Whst's the trouble, then ?" "I'll tell
you," said the Senator, pressing his thin lips
together; "the Democracy 25 years ago took
out patent for making id fools, and 1t
has never been infringed upon.
There is something peculiar about Irish
wit, and something peculiarly agreeable In
It.. When q skeptic had been permitted to
attend mass he was either impressed or be-
logged by the ceremony, no one could tell
which, but he turned to his companion, and
In hoarse and solemn sort Of whisper, ex-
claimed: "Pst, me boy, this bates the divil p
Pat did not even turn his face to his friend,
but reverently making the sign Of the cross,
returned, "Jlmmy, me boy, that's the insen-
tion."