davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
Life in Brazil.

The dwellings are universally made
of saplings or canes crossed and plas-
tered with mud. The floors and win
dows are never washed. Brooms-used
only in extreme instances-are made Of
saping tied round with few green
branches. Scrubbing brushes, mops,
busters and whitewash, paint and var
nish are unknown. The windows have
no sash weights, but are held up. when
open, with nail or piece Of iron of
some sort. The doors are made of heavy
wood, hacked out with AIDES and Sc
cured by locks of medieval pattern, hav-
ing keys as pOnderOus as that of the
bastile az Mount Vernon; the floors
have no covering. The bath-tub is a
tin basin; the towel is made Of sheet
ing; soap IS a luxury. Portugal is a
hundred steps behind America; Brazil
is hundred steps behind Portugal; it
is but a step III advance of Africa.
Everybody knows how to ride q horse
here; but nobody can push saw or
drive a plane. Such thing as board
sawed true" is unknown There are
numerous little saw-miils throughOutthe
country where boards are sawn by
means Of water power; but the boards
are never of equal thickness through
out, ranging from half an inch to two
inches. Nor are they Of equal width,
varying from six inches to eighteen.
Nor are the edges cut straight, nor are
they ever planed or smoothed by ma
chinery. Consequently all the wood
work about the house is of the most
wretched description, and painting,
withdrawing, Or cleaning is almost i'm
practicable. I nave seen a few sewing
machines throughout the country. They
are all moved by hand. have seen
three pianos in the course of 800 miles
of travel. They we're all cracked. 1
have seen houses that possessed illumi-
mating lamps. They were so few that
they we're distinguished from the rest.
People go about at night through the
dark streets with lighted candle in
hand. A piece Of paper incloses' the
candle TO keep OF the wind.-4. d., i1a
San Francisco Chronicle.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
WoI2aaER7s wit.

A woman's advice is generally worth
having; so, if you are IN any trouble,
tell your mother, or your wife, OR your
sister all about II. BE assured TINT light
Will flash upon your darkness. Women
are tco commonly judged verdant in all
but purely wOmanish affairs. No philo-
sophical students Of the sex thus Judge
them. Their intuitions or insight a.
most subtle, and If they cannot see q cat
In the meal there is no cat there. adj.
wise a man to keep none of his affairs
from his wife. Many home he's been
saved and many fortune retrieved by a
mans confidence In his wife. Woman is
far more a seer and a prophet than a
man, if she be given q fair chance. As a
general rule the wives confde the mjnut-
est Of their plans and thoughts to their
husbands. Why not reciprocate, if but
Ior tEa pleasure of meeting confidence
III confidence? The men who succeed
best Ill life are those who make conf
Giants OF their wives.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
Scvaca and Civilized SHINING

SrLool-boys of an earlier generation
nfteu fecited land laughed over DR..
'tolcott's description of poor Hodge
..aying himself; how
- vain to chase his beard and bring The
lie out and dug and whined and stamped and
-WOre
Brought blood, and danced-and made wry
faces"
The interval between the barbarous
(Witbout any pun and civilized shaving
IS long one, but the history of beard
cutting IS an art shows some sore exam
pies Of bungling, good deal later then
tle Old Scythians:
The idea that shaving is a duty is
older than the invention of steel or even
Of bronze razors. Nothing is more re-
martable in savage life than the resolu-
OF the braves, who shave with she'll or
with q broken piece Of glass left by
mariners.
: warrior will throw himself upon
the ground, and while one friend holds
l':' arms and prevents him from strug-
cling, another will scrape his chin with
the she'll or broken bottle, till he rises
bleeding bat heardless.
Macauiav mu5t have shaved almost
as badly With the razor of modern lie.
anG "hcE he went TO q barber AID af-
ter IN easy shave, asked what he owed,
TIE low. afraid OF charging toe little.
replied,
Just what you generally give the
nlan Jiat shaves Won. SIR"
- generally give him two cuts %
each check" said the historian.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09

was their use. lie replied, To mark
the waist. They are often put too low
down to serve this purpose; but why
should q man want his waist marking?
And if he wants it marking in one coat,
why not IN another? As matter Of fact,
tie only reason for the existence of
these two buttons is that they are a
survival from the time when men but
toned back the long flaps Of their coats
II order to walk more freely. We have
DO flaps now: then why keep the but
tons? Another rndiEent ary organ may
lie fond at the end Of the sleeve. There
is always caf marked, generally by q
double row Of stitches, which perform
no useful service. rniess It be to remind
Us shat orr GcGudfa5hers Lad facinrs to
their sleeves, and that those little b1t-
tons At the end were OF real use when
the sleeve vas t:ah5 at the wrist
\ est End GG-ojto
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
Ebe Es.Iilne,,:arY IN Clothing,

Set rs "cw san critical eve upon
t!2 n:2.a costume. One OF the most
ci1F-"'s tni.C= ah3ut mans EVERYDAY
Gcess IS i, 7Ig.i.eso. say his EVERYDAY
ccSJ.i'ila, because. When on pleasure he
Is i'21o, ne may WeaH pretty much what
ne likes, and, as matter OF fact. when
sc's"@i!' ., hoaau4, bicycling, cricket
r,~. ok g. on ctheswise enioviHg
nT"}sei5, he does adcFt 2 dress which is
'4r't sensible AMI picturesque. 1t is
OILY when lie wishes 10 make AZ i'm
precision, when lie Is o. business. or
I',TiHg cal, or going to Worship. OF
performing some otier conveationality,
j'laF he consider It Absolutely neces-
al to BE- particularly inartistic and
uncomfortable. Our Sunday best. our
go-to-meatirg clothes. are those most
Open to rliEcdle, unless it NAV lie our
eYe'ung dress. Contemplate for mo-
i2oEt = man on his VIZ 70 Worship. Re
= walking Illustration OF the doctrine
. evolution. Were !iis hat, his coat. or
LIS trousers cieataG: so, thew we're
c-oived. His ha5-is tophat - his
iin"oy-t0p, his sto1a-l;pe-is bat the
O cess upon [5hicL as ancestors were
Wo.t to display ribbons and knots. and
oi'.@" %ands. In itself it is both ugly
al Gncomfjrtable In winter it proves
= vast roof upon which rain and snow
may collect u o-!er 10 be better dis
charged upon the shrinking form be-
uea,h, CT otherwise it has to be pro-
t2ctcd bF an expensive umbrella. We
inst buy an expensive lat to protect q
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
EoEyOYyers OF EseartN.

It is a curious and striking fact, of
which Intelligent men take notice with
a mixture of envy and jealousy, that
women Of high culture and endowments
SO readily accept the attentions of fash
ionable boobies. I once asked charm
ing miss, who was herself no exception
to the general rule, the meaning Of
this, when she replied that ladies were
fond Of receiving attentions, and SO
long as they got them they were not so
particular as to the source they came
from. Beside" said she, "however
excellent men Of sense are as husbands,
they make very Indifferent beaux; they
are ST. dreadfully IN earnest In what they
say o. do, and overpower you so with
their sense, that it is positive relief to
turn to one of these more amusing
trifers. - Well" said I, a little net
tied by this explanation, "f sense is
SO little appreciated, teach me to talk
nonsense, that I may make myself more
agreeable to you" "Oh," said she,
"you are doing that very well already.
But seriousl y" added she, "the great
est objection TO sensible men, next to
their being so few in number, is that
they prefer to be the slaves of their own
whims rather than of ours. A man of
sense enthroues one among us as the
queen of his affections, and restricts his
attentions TO her alone, while every one
of those dawdlers, as you call them, is
the loyal subject of al least a dozen,
who, however, never permit him to APP
proach their throne but to bow before
it, and to bear away their commands"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
a WOsnan's Whinss.

The Empress Josephine had 600, 900
francs for her personal expenses, but
this sum was not sufficient, and her
debts increased to an appalling degree.
Notwithstanding the position of her
husband, she could never submit to
either order or etiquette in her private
life. She rose at 9 o'clock. Her toilet
consumed much time, and she lavished
unwearled efforts on the preservation
and establishment of her person. She
changed her linen three times q day,
and never wore any stockings that were
not new. Huge baskets were brought
to her containing different dresses,
shawls and hats. From these she
selected her costume for the day She
possessed between 300 and 400 shawls.
and always wore one in the morning,
which she draped about her shoulders
with unequaled grace. She purchased
all that were brought to her, no matter
at what price. The evening toilet was
as careful as that OF the morning; then
she appeared with flowers, pearls or
precious stones in her hair. The smallest
assembl y was always an occasion for her
to order new costume, In spite of tie
boards OF dresses in the various palaces.
Bonaparte was irritated by these ex-
pendltures; he would fy intoa passion,
and his wife would weep and promise to
be more prudent, after which she would
so Oh in the same way. 1t Is almost IN
credible that this passion for dress
should never have exhausted itself.
After the divorce she aTrayed herself
with the same care, even when she saw
DO one. She died covered with ribbons
and pale rose-coI0rad satin.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
WIT AND HUMUg.
Few people are so selfish as to keen
their opinions to themselves.

Few people are so selfish as to keep
their opinions to themselves.
\ correspondent wishes to know If
the ''Lay on MacduifT' was one OF
Shakspearc's earlier poems.
What makes the sea salt?" said the
teacher, and young America shouted,
The Goldfish that are in it."
Ihe blind man should be the mos
contentcd man in the world. because
he can have everything he sees.
The drum IS to be abolished from
use in the French army. For lon.
time it has been a snare and thing ot
hollow pretensions.
A little girl, defining clearing false
witness against your neighbour" said
lit was when nobody did nothing,
and somebody went and told of it."
''Now tell me candidly, are you
guilty" asked & lawyer Of his client.
"Why, do you suppose I'd be fool
enough TO hire YOU Ii was innocent
"Sit down!" said Il nervous old ge..
tleman TO mis- son, who was making too
much noise. Il won't do it." was the
impudent answer. well, then, stan
up, L will be obeyed!"
An Illinois chap, in describing gale
OF wind, says: a white dog, while
attempting to weather the gale, was
caught with his mouth open, and turn
ell completely inside out"
Adjutant (to newly Joined recruit.
who presents himsclD: well, my
man, what's your business?" Recruit !:
''Shure now, if L knew what wanted,
should l be afther askin you, sorr?"
When young farmers wife made
her first boys pants precisely as SIM
pie before as behind, the father ex-
claimed: Goodness, he won't know
whether he is going to school or conf
ing home!'
Physician (to government clerk)-
"Well, what do you complain or"
G. C.-Sleeplessness, doctor" Phy8i-
cian-''At what time do you go TO
bud?" q. C.-"Oh, L don't mean at
night; but during Office hours
Grandfather; "You are stupid.
Charley; the dullest boy ever saw"
Charlie: You must not expect me
to understand things as quickly as YOU
do, grandfather, because you don't
have the trouble to get 'em through
your hair"
1t is said that the deepest gorge in
the world has been discovered in Col
oradO. We always had the impression
that the biggest gorge in this country
might be witnessed at q railway sta
ton where the train stops Give min
utes for dinner"
An old judge of the New York SUI
preme court meeting friend in Il
neighboring village, exclaimed, "Why
what are you doing hcre?' Pm at
work, trying to make an honest liv-
ing" was the reply. "Then you'll sue
coed, said tic judge, ''for you'll have
no competition"
When the political situation was
decidedly complicated, a diplomatist
asked Talleyrand one night what was
his opinion as to the course Of events.
MY opinion" said Talieyrani, bland
ly, swell, have one opinion i'll the
morning and another i'll The afternoon,
bnt l never have an opinion at night"
Liverstick has been i'll for some
weeks, and Jones, meeting Smith, asks:
"HoW's Liverstlck, Smith-any bet
teri" "Well," says Smith, Ibis ply
stefan is hopeful Yes, yes, respond
Ell Jones, that's all very well; Dat is
his undertaken hopeful! That's more
TO the purpose" Jones is such Il pccu-
liar fellow.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
BacOnian Philosophy,

Discretion in speech is more than elo-
quence.
That is half granted which IS denied
graciously.
Without good-natUre man is but a
better kind OF vermnl.
New things, like strangers, are more
admired and less favored.
He that studieth revenge keepeth his
own wounds green.
Great riches have sold moro men than
ever they have bought out.
The best part of beauty is that which
a picture cannot express.
They that reverence too much old
times are but q scorn to the new.
He who builds fair house upon an
III seat, commits himself to prison.
Base natures, if they find themselves
once suspected, will never be true.
You had better take for business a man
somewhat absurd, than over formal.
EXcusations, cessiOns, mOdesty itself
well governed, are bat marks Of osten-
t,.t!.on.
The master of superstition is the PEG
pie. And in all superstition, wise men
follow fools.
Fame IS like river, that beareth up
things Light and swollen. and browns
things waigbtv and solid
If man look sharp and attcntively
he shall see fortune: for, though she is
blind, she IS not invisible.
He that defers his charity till he is
dead Is, if a man weighs it rightly,
rather liberal OF another mans than Of
ms Own.
TO desire in discourse to hold all az
g1ments is ridiculous, wanting true
Judgment; for III al things no man can
be exquisite.
The best governments are always
subject to be like the forest crystals,
when every icicle or grain is seen,
which in foEler stone IS never per
ceived
IS in nature things more more VIC
lent!y to their rlace AID calmly in their
place, SO virtue in ambition IS violent
m authority, settled and calm.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
The JUIic;OuS Wife.

A judicious wife, says Ruskin, is al
ways nipping off from under her hus-
bands moral nature little twigs that
are growing in wrong directions. She
keeps him in shape by continued prun-
ing. If you say anything silly she Will
atlectionately tell you SO. If you de-
clare you Will do some absurd thing
she Will find some means of preventing
you from doing it. And by far the
chief part of all the common sense
there is III this world belongs unques-
tiOnably to woman. The wisest things
man commonly does are those which
Lis wife counsels him to do. A wife is
a grand wielder of the moral pruning
knife. If Johnson's wife had lived there
would have been no boarding up of
orange peel, no touching all the posts
IN walking along the streets, no eating
and drinking with disgusting voracity
If Oliver Goldsmith had been married.
he never would have worn that memoir
able and ridiculous coat. Whenever
you find man whom you know
but little about oddly dressed, or talk
ing absurdiy, or exhibiting eccentricity
of manner, you may be sure that he is
not a married man, for the corners are
rounded off, the little shoots pared
away, IN married men. Wives have gen.
orally much more sense than their nus
bands, even though they may be clever
men. The wife's advice is like the bal
last that keeps the ship steady.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
Thomas Paine.

Thomas Paine, the author eff the
cage Of Reason" rights of Man" and
other works Of political or anti Christ
ian character, was born at Thetford
England, Jan. 90, 1877. His father was
an obscure Quaker, who was united in
marriage to lady of the Church of
England. The religious discussions of
his parents did not tend to develop
Paine's religious nature All Of his
schooling he received before he was Ii,
at which age he was set at stGy-making.
For three years he continued at his
trade ut home, and then he went to
London. After remaining there q few
weeks he went to Dover. He yielded to
a rowing disposition, and soon gave uD
his trade for the adventurous Life of
privateer In 1858 he married Mary
Lambert and settled at Sandwich. i
few years later he obtained Il situation
in an internal-revenue office; but was
several times discharged for bad con-
duct. In the meantime his wife had
died, and he had married Miss Olive.
In IVA he came to Philadelphia, sep
arGting from his wife the same year.
The cause of this separation has never
been known. Neither, after~ard, would
allow the others name to be mentioned
with reprOach IN his or her presence
His wife was a. Christian lady, and per-
haps the separation was due to their
difference of opinion on religious sub
jects. When in Philadelphia, Paine
contributed to various magazines, advO-
eating national independence, md
vidual liberty and infdelity. IN 1881,
he was sent to France with Col. L&u-
rens to obtain money to replenish the
empty American treasury Hew&s sue
cessful in the undertaking, but was SO
pleased with France that in 1877 he re-
moved his residence to that country.
He was received with great favor, both
on account Cf his advocacy OF larger pO-
itical liberty, and because Of his infdel
doctrines, France having become per-
meated with Voltaireism. He became
q citizen Of France, and was after q
time elected to seat in the French As
sembly. During the terrible revolution
which so conyulsed the French nation
in the last decade Of the eighteenth
century Paine was imprisoned as an En-
glish-born foreigner In vain he APP
pealed for relief to Washington as an
American citizen, he having disclaimed
his allegiance to the United States.
Finally, in 1902, he was released and
returned to this country, where he con
tinued to reside until his death, IN 1869
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
CaINIaln ElhInS.

One cold November Night q Preco-
CO.'S yonng Turkey said to His mother
"AotAec, Why were We Endowed bv
i ne with Heads?" "Our heads, my
".ihl," replied the Mother. were given
~ - an All Wise providence as our
Oats of reason" "That may all BE
~c.r.r- True" said the Precociors TmE-
- =, "but at this Season of the Year
at Help telling 1 would Be mere
;.l&;ufGi 10 Providence il She he'd 1T
tt sane time Endowed Us With NecES
less Sensitive to the Heads.Qln's
1:.tr:;et."
y Dog and his Tail once had a Mis-
understanding as to Which OF the Two
should Wag the Other, and in the DIFF
f"lllty which EnSUed the Dog got very
Idly Shaken up. Things have Come
to Pretty pass" quoth the Dog, that I
@3o77ld he Governed by my Tail" ct
NIL be Well for you," said the Tail, "to
remember in the Future that, While nv
'9!crests are identical with yours, hold
,..e Balance Of Power"
\ mUtilated Quarter once Found HIM
eaI Lying upon q contribution Plate.
&c remarked to his Neighbor with some
Degree Of Sadness: II must have fallen
relr low in the Social Scale, indeed, for
IL = rs only last Night that [ was Re-
fused in Exchange for five White
Chips" do not Grieve," said his
HeigAbor, "for the Deacon We are APP
preaching would give fully Eighty per
cent. of your Face value if he Only had
One Of your Kind to Pat on the Plate
beside U.s."
! Falling out once Occurred between
lie Stomach and the Other Members Of
the Body, whereupon and Illness of all
Guaued. "See now" said the Other
,iembers, what a Blamed Fool YOU
&c, ion Instead of being the Healthy,
Comfortable stomach you once Mere,
you are Now reduced to the 1Iortifica-
ton Of Keeping Cases for Drug
store"
\ fond Mother, beholding her Child
eating a Quantity of Sugar Plums, be-
.;.,I for to Curse and to Swear, and
j,Arned him he Would have the
Stomach Ache unless he Shared his
5Weetneats with his Little Sister. NO.
40. dear Mother" he Sagely replied, ~
r0'3il Willingly Share the Taffy with
Ieter, we're it not for the Fear of also
'...aring the stomach ache with her.
<uY no More, but let me Suffer alone "
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
Camping Ont.

We had camped out often enough to
have the rough edge Of Or desire for
such dissipation worn off. We knew
that camping out meant 4 saddle for a
pillow, for bed "the yielding earth
that always develops extraordinary
solidity and sharp-cornered stones dur
ing the night; for a covering "the star
besprinklcd dome of night" and an old
horse-blanket fail of holes. We knew
that it also meant getting up at about
midnight, untangiing your horse from
the rope wound all around lis legs;
turning ont again at , q. II. and prowl-
ing around in the dark looking for wood
to renew the fire and keep from freez-
ing to death It meant getting ants in
your ears, creeping things up your
trousers legs, and finally getting up at
daybrcak sore and bruised, sLivering
over IL campfire getting smoke in your
eyes, overturning the coffee-pot and
getting clissed bv all the resi- Of the
party.-Tcras SUtiHyS.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09

It is agreed O. al hands that the II
creased attention given to physical ex-
ercise and athletic sports within the
past twenty-five wears has been, On the
whole, 81 great advantage to tie uni
versitT; that the average physique Of
the mass of students has been :cns.hiy
improved, tie Discipline Of the cell &c
made easier and mere effective, tie
work OF many Jealous students hsen
done with greater safety, AID tn 8. k
and s;ckly youth into one reI-fo:med,
robUst and healthy. It is also g. eed
that athletic competitions. thon.rl, .""-
essary to the maintenance OF ,no"ar
interest IL tie general subject may
easily rra into excess. and on thi:1 <
count need to he kept witlrL ~
Greet limits: and that the Whole -, i
of college sports and contests Shou'j 1e
that Of amateurs who are amusing t,itln-
selves, and net that Of professional
players. who are earning 4 living AID
seeking reputation for It's pecUniary
lue.-Pre$ijIei,t Eliot.