Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-06-14


from the tiger and give him to her rival. The
lover looks for signal, and the Princess,
raising her right hand indicates that he shall
open the door on the right. He advances to
Obey-there Mr.. Stockton leaves him. The
story aroused great deal of curiosity, and
many solutions have been attempted. The
wittiest and best of them all is by Major
Joseph Kirkland, of Chicago, and is pub
lished In recent number Of the Century, as
follows:I
1.-THE PROBLEM.
a monarch wise; two ladies fair:
A youth not blessed with rank or money
Royal Tiger from his lair:
These are our drdfndtis persona.
The King was great. That potentate
Full wisely s.ccred the ship of State:
And most of all, his shrcwdness showed
In his Majestic Penal Code.
An amphitheater nobly used,
Served as a court where each accused
BY his own act strict justice got;
Or twas his fault if he did not.
The cuprit, real or supposed,
Was placed before two portals, closed;
Then, uncontrolled, seif-auided quite,
He took his choice 'twixt left and right.
Behind the one, IN wait for him,
: A tiger inrked, severe and grim.
The other hid IL lovely maid,
Young, rich, for wedlOck all arraycu.
A beast of prey. A lawful wife,
No wonder if he gasoed and tarried:
We ali do when we'er kiEcG-or married.
The trial, from its institution,
Down to the final execution
Not having any lawyers in it,,
Took just the space ~ hay immune.
in this grand scheme of penal laws
So free from doubt, delay. excitement
Each of the tigers separate claws
WnS q, sSptA al a ll q
Said we not well this King was shrewd
Who this strong. S nipple plan pursued:
The crowd amuscd-Iaw yindicated-
Tho tigers fcd-thc maidens mated.
Tie Kings own daughters inclination
Was toward Il youth of lOwiy station,
And since he was, like Barkis E" willin,'
He must have been Il hardened villain.
So the police pursued him. caught him.
And to the Colosseum brought him;
And thither came the monarch proud,
The Princess, and the bascr crowd.
Behind the scenes another maiden
Attends, with all her gewgaws laden.
While close at hand. to left-or right
The ti2er-with his appetite.
The thrOng now see the cuiprit enter
And pause at the arenas center:
Turn, face the royal box. and bow;
Alas. How feels the Princess now?
She only favored by the Fates,
Knows the dread problem of the gates
Which hides her rival s hateful face,
And which the tigers lurking-place.
Her luckless lover vainly tries
To read her secret in her eyes
What sign can reach his Straning sight?
She lifts one lily hand-the right!
He sees the sign; he must obey; .
He bows again and turns away;
Faces the double-gated wal
Advances firmly, and-thats all!
Right here the story l,Slts. The sequel
Its author left with chances equal.
, Did Love decree the youth survival,
Although united TO Il rival?
1.-THE SOLUTION.
This tiger, savage. sleek and strong,
Had tasted there alone and long,
And grown to he far hungricr than 4
Wild quadrupedal Doctor Tanner.
lie shifted the wall that did divide
Him from the maid on tothcr side.
One sniff, two shifts, three snitfS were all;
Then he forthwitlI tire dozen The rdi.
Sir Tiger now has had his fill:
Another pound would make him ill.,
He's no more need for person raw
Than Barnum's tiger stuffed with straw.
Too long we've let our hero stand
Since his fair Princess raised hey hand.
Boldly he opes the ri9ht-hand portal
Then staggerS back in terror mortal.
From ont the gateway. crouching low,
The tiger steps, Sc late and slow.
Stops, stoops, upsheathes and sheathes his
claws.
While all may note the awful paws.
He gives the youth a scornful glance,
And passes on with looks askance.
He does not seem to care to eat him
Meets him, in fact, but doesn't meat him.
He smoOths his whiskcrs. walks the ring,
Winks at the Princess and her lover,
Then smiles screnely at the King
And scans the multitude al over.
His lordly form and bearing made
Fit Setting for the part he played.
He on the sands of that theayter
From top to toe looked glad he ate her.
He pcered and purred and paced awhile,
With that same soft, seductive smile,
Then to II shady corner crept
And laid him down and swcctly slept.
The King i'm this portent sees.
Qloth he, while quake the royal knees:
go. daughter. quickly as you can
And wed that prliseworthy young man.
The Princess trips across the sands
To where her lover. waiting, stands.
They re married fast. mid cheers and laughter
And then-live happy ever after.
Oft did the swain in later life
Demand the secret from his wife:
And by all arts Strove to oblige her
To tell ichich IO0r had hid the tigers
But she. as all historians say,
Kept silent TO her dying day:
SO no step further ever made he
To solve the problem Death or Lady"
The = is soft here