davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24
Not the Chat Int Katrina

In car the passengers noticed tiny
wreath of smoke ascending from neal
the front
That old German is smoking inside
the car, +" said smart aleck. The con-
ductor thought so too.
Here, throw away your cigar" said
he, savagely, grasping the old gentle
man by the shoulder.
Vat you means by dat? l have no
cigar"
Then you must be ON fire" said the
conductor, and about that time the
aroma of burning cotton began to fill
the car. At this time the old German
evidently came to the same conclusion
and began to bestir himself. A cigar
spark had alighted on his coat and was
getting in its work at the expense OF
about half yard of cloth.
Mine gracious, said the old fellow,
"vat will Katrina say aloud thisP'--
Cleveland Herald.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24
No Use for Them.
Concerning Certain Relics OF the Past-Dogs
that Have Had Their Day.

tudL ndfO I1Eu 4ANAA OAy
George Stephenson's ''Rocket,n and the mag
nifeent locomotives of to-day, are built upon the
same general principle, yet the machine with
which the great engineer astonshed his age, is in
teresting now only as an illustration of the begin
ming of the invention. There were plasters with
holes in them long before BENSON'S CAPClNE
POROUS PLASTER surprised both the public and
the physicians; and the triumph OF the Capcine
is founded upon the partial successes, or the utter
failures of its predecessors. Everything Of value
in the old porous plaster is retained in the Cap
cine; but at this point all comparison ends, and
contrast begins. For example:
The old plasters were slow in their action; the
Capcine is quick and sure.
The old plasters lacked the power TO do more
than to impart sight temporary relief i'll cases
easy of treatment; the Capcine penetratcs the
system and permanently cures the troubles for
which il is recommended.
The old plasters depended for any good results
they might attain, upon an accident of their MAX
ers and the TAXED faith of their wearers; the
Benson's reaches its ends by means of the scien.
tifc combination of the rare medicinal ingredi
ents which il contains
In brief, the old plasters, like Stephenson dis
carde engine. are switched of the track, while
the Benson's goes on its way winning golden
opinions from all sorts of people,
Yet in this very fact lies the leading danger tc
the people who buy and use this reliable and sc
entifc remedy, Hypocrisy is the tribute vice
pays to virtue" Imitation is the concession fail
ure makes 10 success. Benson'7 Plasters are
parodied in name and style
Beware of swindles. The genuine have the
word CAPCINE cut in the center. Price % cents
Seabnry & johnson, Chemists New York.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24
Waiting on the Combination.

A country editor, who had procured
Mick's safe on an advertisement is tow
ing with the combination. Man waiting
to collect BILL
Eighteen times slow, to the right
stop at S23,'' the editor soliloquizes.
Copy" yells the boy who sets up
the paper,
Hastily abandoning the safe, the edi-
tor cuts out half column article from
an exchange, marks it editorial"
hands it to the boy and returns to the
combination.
Lets see. " he muses., ''stop at 324.
Yes, that's right. Now, then, to the
left 10 times slow past 324 stop at 1863, "
and then, looking up at the collector, he
paused and inquired. How much is
that bill Of yourn?"
1.-TWO dollars"
Cant you come in tomorrow? l
haven't any change about me and don't
like to ask you to wait until l open my
safe"
just as leave wait as not, respond
ed the collector.
Besides continued the editor, 4
haven't anything less than 800 bill
in the safe. Break hundred dollar
note?''
Eyes, two of EN-" was the disheart-
ening response.
'All right. Lemme see, 163. Then
to the right past 164-but hold up,
seems to me half of that bill was to be
taken out in advertising. How is
that?'
No such thing"
s.Sure?"
"Yes, | am
Very well. Then to the right past
ia, fourteen times to the lett, stop at
rs Look here, " to the collector, ''bet-
ter come in tomorrow. This is an &C
commodation combination-stops at all
the stations, and besides that, it's flag
ged every few minutes, he added, as
the boy called him out to see ''that wo-
man with some more poetry"
Thirty-tive minutes later he reap
pears with an arm-load of mixed po-
etry.
you couldn't wait till read this,
could you?" he asks, "or maybe, you
like to skim through it YOURSELF" he
added
But the collector said he felt fainty
like, and would just sit still and wait
until the safe was opened.
"Oh, you will, will you? Correct
10, then 10 the right past rs thirty-eight
times slow, stop at 994; then to the
left past 994 hundred and sixty-eight
times, stop at As; then to the right past
Assay! I'd rather you'd come in to,
morrow I'm a little pushed for time
now Can't wait? Then to the right
past 43 six hundred and twenty-five
times, stop at IS. This is long stretch
of country I'm going over now" said
the editor, as he whirled the knob, "but
when | get to 10 I'll be nearly halt
through-confound it, I've passed it
Have to begin all over now. Eigh,
teen times Slow to the right stop at 81!
-"
Hold on there! Stop right where
YOU are, interposed the collector; III
come in some time next month";" anC
he left.
Its my opinion that no newspaper
office is complete without one OF these
combination lock safes, - soliloquized
the editor. as he deity turned the knot
twice, opened the safe and got out hi:
best cigar. Gin. Sat. Night.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24

The death of Bishop Peck brings to
mind an anecdote, which the Syracuse
Standard tells as follows: Some years
ago Punshon, the famous English Meth
odist, was to lecture in Albany, N. Y,
and Bishop Peck was called upon to
introduce the preacher. A large audi
ence had gathered, when the ponderous
form of the Bishop Che then weighed
more than 800 pounds) appeared at
one end of the stage entrances. Fol-
lowing him closely came Punshon.
Above the applause of the audience, as
the two men stepped in view, came the
words from man in the rear OF the
hall: by George, the tug is largertban
the ship.h
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24
Negrn Humor.

when in a Southern city once |
heard voice calling, 'Sam-hey,
SAM | turned and saw it was a negro
shouting. said, Well, what do you
want?:' 1t amt you I was calling, said
the negro, it's that other niger over the
way. "
"A railroad magnate, Mr.. Jay Gould
being at the South was hailed by ne
gro with, Boss. have your boots
shined?' i am not boss, said Mr..
Gould. You're boss of your own
boots, amt you?' was the reply.-S. S.
Coz.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24

'Ah, good morning. Going to church
tomorrow" Church? Oh, yes, l
guess so. Who holds forth?' ''Oh,
let's see. Miss Crescendo is going to
sing an aria, Miss Pianissimo will war
BILE bit, Bravura, he is to hum on the
tenor side, and old Andante will come
in somewhere on the chorus. 1t will be
way up" But who preachesP" THAT
makes no difference. Some fellow who
will touch up our transgressions mighty
light. y Hartford Post.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24
First Glass,

First UlaSs,
Old Rufus started a newspaper, as his
son bad Just returned from school, hav-
ing taken journalistic course, and,
calling on the postmaster when the first
number had been issued, he said:
Boss, | sees dat de papers in dis
town is put down as second-class mail
matter.
"All newspapers 60 that way"
But l don't like it, sab, case my son
dun learnt at school how ter be edit
or, an Use agwine ter run fust class
paper. Jes' put me down as fust-class. y
I'm that event you'll have to pay let
ter postage
Whats dat?"
y say you'll have to pay about three
cents on every paper, instead Of two
cents pound"
''An' OATS de tax what the guberment
puts on fust class paper, huh? De
president, / spoze, is puffectly willin'
ter hab de country filled up wild second
class papers. Gwine ter hold de smart
men down, see | fit fur dis country,
sab, an l amt agwine ter submit ter nc
SIGH rulin'. Use agwine ter run fust
class paper, an dis gubermenf CAM
hep itse'f. Use agwine ter tote my
mail matter on mule, OATS what Use
agwinter do. "-ArkGnsat0 Traveller.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24
CHICAGO,
MILWAUKEE,
AND ST. Paul;

II owns ana operates over 1850 miles OF ROAD III
Northern lIlihuls Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa
and Dakotrr and its main lines, branches ana con
nee ions reach all the great business centres OF tne
Northwest aud Far West it naturally answers the
description Of Short Line, aud best route between
Chicago, Milwaukee, St. Paul and Minneapolis.
Chicago, Milwaukee, La Crosse and Winona.
Chicago. Milwaukee, Aberdeen and Ellendale.
Chicago. Milwaukee, Eau Claire and SILVIA err
Chicago, Milwaukee Wausau and Merrill.
Chicago, Milwaukee, Beaver Dam and Oshkosh.
Chicago, Milwaukee, Waukesha and Oconomowoc.
Chicago Milwaukee, Madison, and Prairi du Cnlen
Chicago, Milwaukee, Owattonna and Faribault
Chicago. Belot, GAINESVILLE and Mineral Point.
Chicago, Elgin, Rockford and Dubuque.
chicago, Clinton, Rock Island and Cedar Rapids
Chicago, Council Bluffs and Omaha.
Chicago. Sioux City, Sioux Falls and Hankton
Chicago. Milwaukee, Mitchell and Chamberlain,
Rock Island, Dubuque st. Paul and Minneapolis
Davenport, Calmar St. Paul and Minneapolis.
Pullman Sleepprs and the Finest Di ing Cars III
the world are run the main lines OF the chicago
Milwaukee & st. Paul Railway and every atten
TOMS paid to passengers by courteous employees
Of the Company
! 5. MERRILL, A. V. II. CARPENTER,
General Manager, Gen Pass. & Tiki Agt
1T. CLARK, GEO. II. HEAFFORD,
Genl Sup't Asst Gen. Pass. Agt
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24
BRIGHT's DISEASE.
RHEUMATISM.

Stone in Bladder, inflammation of Kidney
and Liver, Loss of Memory, Loss of Appetite
and all Kidney and Liver Complaints, is
cured by stilwell's Specific. Price $1.09.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24

Hostetters Stomach Bitters meets the require
ments of the rational medical philosophy WHICH
At present prevails It is q perfectly pure veget-
able remedy. embracing the three important prop
critics of a preventive tonic and an alternative II
forriies the body against disease. invig0r6tes and
reviazes the torpid stomach ana liver, and effects
sulutary change in the entire system.
For sale by all Druggists and dealers generally.
uOv-l4-eod&w1y
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24
rutcAGO. BURLINGTON 4 QUINCY
,y,r,go. MILWAUKEE L. ST. PAUL

Trains No. :, S, Q and 10 are Maquoketa Branch
.r.a,Hs 3und 4 Accommodation for oxford Juuc-
IAN 1 and =, Passenger, for Celmar.
"FIying Dutchman" leaves Rock Island 10 a
~ arrives nj 9:O5 D. m. arrives Dubuque IL AZ II
III. Lave. .1s D. IN arrives at St Paul 1920 p
M leaves 5 Is a. IN. arrives Minneapolis IL 100 p
Ill., ''''' N. d. W. HOLMES, Agent
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24

Cures Kidney and Liver Disease when all
else fails. It's action on the system is quick
and lasting.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24

Lake Tahoe is in California. So is the
liar who told San Francisco paper
that he saw pickerel nine feet long in
tho 1EC
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24
ROCK ISLAND & MERCER CO., R. R,
TlGE island 4 PRORIh
INE-IL w "A i
SHORTEST ROUTE TO THE
EAST AND SOUTH

Trains leave hoCk lslhHo
400a III. Way Freight.
SIS Fast Express
i4Op m Mail and Express
$50 Through Freight and Accommodation.
Trains arrive at Rock Island:
230a IN. Through Freight and Accommodation.
l245 o. III. Mail and express
$40 Fast Express.
4uU Way Freight. ,o
The Fast EXPRESS, leaving Rock Island ut ~
a N. arrives ut Peoria 1920 p NJ, al Springfield
t25 o. ~, at Decatur 4.O0p. m, Jacksonville 80
o. m. AiIou : 20 p m, ST Louis S.l5 P. m, ana
Terrt Haute II 55 p. m., THE SAME DAY. Making
his the BEST and QUICKEST route TO all points
southeast.
lbe 80 D. N. train makes close connection at
,,alga win e. b & Z. for points west; arriving al
ialesburg at AS p m, at Burlington 6:4o p NJ at
Keokuk u - p. m, and ut Quincy 10.OS p. IN.
Arriving 1T Peoria al 6.3U p. m, making close
,.onnectTDns with the l. B. & ". and T. P. W 3.
fer In tiauapolis, connecting there with all last
trains for the east and south.
g~FAST TIME SURE CONNECTIONS, and
r3,tgs Il. low as By any other route.
n = CABIE A. Y. MORTON,
GenY Stunt. Gen1 Tiki Agt.
The s 50 y. m. Accommodation leaves every Gay
..ycept sunday.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24
BURLINGTON ROUTE"
GOING EAST ARD WEST.

GOING EAST Ard WEST
Elegant Day Coaches, Parlor Cars, with Reclin
ling Chairs tseats free), Smoking Cars with Re
lvolving Chairs, Pullman Palace Sleeping Cars and
the famous c. b & 9. Dining Cars run daily TO aud
from Chicago & Kansas City, Chicago & .toincil
Bluffs Chicago & Des Moines Chicago Sc. 10
iseph, Atchison & Topeka. Only through line be
tween Chicago, Lincoln & Denver Through cars
between indianapolis & Council Bluffs VIA Peoria
All connections made in Union pepots. 1t IS
known as the great THROUGH CAR LINE.
Finest Equipped Railroad in tn,
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-07-24

Finest Railroad World Of
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-04-20

The most fashionable wrap for the season
is said To- Oe "a mantle. half long. with dOlmau
like sleeves set iu ON the shoulder There be-
also o. return of favor toward short jackets
this spring These are single. breasted. and
have small. bali-shnped buttons. o. narrow
turned-up collar. numerous square pockets
with narrow flaps. neatly stitched The new
handsome wraps are much trimmed with
Spanish lace and fringe OF cashmere, cut
beads. edged with spanish lace French
travelling wraps are of plaid cloth very long
a box pieatng about four inches wide. lined
with silk, is placed down the front For late
spring wear scari-like wraps Of black cash
mere, richly tringed and embroidered with
sOutache braid will be used
tiOuuces, pleats. box plents and folds are
fav0rite trimmings for dress skirts and are ar
ranged simply but effectively. For SIMMER
silks four narrow ruhies. made straight, very
deeply Tapped and pinked on the lower edges
or wide-guthered tiounces that do not lap are
used, aud deep Dox-pleated hounces are equal
by popular Many dressmasers edge their
dress skirts with narrow putting instead Of
the ordinary peilsse. and some prefer arr e
tuted folds alternating with plain spaces.
On tailor dresses box pleating IN single or
triple clusters is used instead of the h0uuca
and may be ten inches or more In depth. with
a single row Of braid at the foot
Long topped ribbons of satin and velvet
viii be worn, especially with white dresses
tompons hang from culored ribbon bows
worn as cravat-
OF the new red shades the more purple
raspberry tnts are considered the most stv.
lsh. Gloves come IN all tiuts 10 match the
dress. As the fashion OF evening dresses
without sleeves still continues. kid gloves
nearly yard long reaching from shoulder
to wrists, are worn.
Plain hosiery without clocks is chosen for
everyday wear tine embroidered and beaded
hos, ls used for full dress
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-04-20

The Normont sheep breeders association
sheared lal sheep ut their second annua. Cz.
hibition shcarue Of Middcbury. Apr. aj.
81 h and 5tl and nearly as many more were
exhibited but not shearel A large number
of the heeces weighed lU lbs or more The
heaviest fleece was taken from O. SIX years old
ram weighing Ia. lus owned boy II. S..
Brookins The fleece weighed a- los. and Q
ounces. Rollin Lane of Cornwall had a four
years old ram Weighing lGl lbs. which
sneared 8- lbs and j ounces A one-yenr
old ram owned by VIM. McUau.ey, shearei
3 los and ounces. This is claimed to be
the largest fleece ever taken from "a sheep not
one more than one wear old A number Of
noted breeders from distant states attended
the snearne OF course. offers for single
sheep. OF q few hundred or a few thousand
dollars more or less were made by the noted
breeders attending the shearing from distant
states. 10 seems like cruelty TO remove so
much heavy wooden clothing aud leave the
animals naked in the early part of April
vet we presume that none Of these high
priced sheep are allowed to suffer from cold
If warm rooms and soft beds can keep them
warm. but we hope that common sheep, for
which these Injuries cannot be afforded win
be allowed to wear their winter clothing till
warmer weather. We may, perhaps, get
present gain in wool 10y shearing before the
snow leaves. but there will ua an eventual
loss of both wool and mutton
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-04-20
sugar from Sorghum

sugar IRON sorghum, now III It's infancy !l
TINS country. seems TO be an oid-establshed
industry IN Japan According 10 Consul Gen
eral al buren,. tine sugar is made from tina.
species of the plant known as Chinese sor-
ghum, which grows iuIuriautiy ~ all the
southern portions Of the empire south OF the
tnlrtv-slXth degree of north latitude The
whole product of tine empire 10 1875 was G4
1.1oO pounds. Importation IN 1875 wa
90 ,fa4, sos pounds For three or four hund-
RED years the process Of formulating and re-
1ning sugars mas been known ana practiced
Sorghum Is not grown from the seed. but
from cuttings. in September selected stalks
are cut and buried III trenches foot deep
through the winter from each Joint Of the
points are cut OF and set ont IN rows fifteen
TO eighteen inches apart, and about the same
distance from each other in the rows Tne
ground mas previously been thoroughly dug
ana pulyerzed 10y q long bladed mattocE
lne fertilizers used are ashes, fish, decou
posed nay, straw and sea-weed, or night-soI
Inc plants are thoroughly hOed hilled and II.
ugated In October and November the
leaves are stripped Of the stalks are cut and
the nard outer covering Is removed. and the
remaining portion is then ground between
rollers Of stone or hard wood The cane
lulce Is boiled IN iron kettles until tine rranu.
iGuou takes place. when it is placed IN bag
aud pressed dry. Inc expressed syrup is used
as molasses. Dry upland soils are requir-
ed for the successful growth of tine cane and
the expenditure of labor and fertilizers is as
great, II not greater, than for any other crop.
American CUlttUTtar
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-04-20
NOTES

damaged corn Is exceedingly injurious as
1000 Tor horses, because It brings on inhRn
nation Of tine bowels and skin diseases
trumpet vine planted near an evergreen
tree ana trained TO climb the tree becomes al
OBJECT OF great beauty when in bloom
A New York farmer declares that an acre
OF the Hubbard squash will fatteu more hog
than The corn that eau be raised on the SANE
ground lie las gathered from siX 10 eight
tons from an acre.
Olives can be successfully grown in many
places IL the Southern states. Au enterpris-
ing California farmer mas an acre which
planted eight years ago, bore 1000 gallons OF
olNea, equivalent 10 $50 gllions Of OIL worth
% per gallon
Inc waste trash tobacco Of the cigar facto-
ries Is usually given away for the carriage. and
yet II Is not only one Of the most valuable OF
IertihzeTs being rich IL potash, but prevents
the ATTACK OF many injurious insects 10 plants
A Vermont sneep-ralser says that the best
method OF doctorlng sheep for the foot rot is
70 wet the loot Of every sheep IN the dock.
SOUND or lame, thoroughly with kerosene or
coal OIL ana put what sulphur you can take
III thumb and nuger between the hoofs of
raeA io0i Keep them IN a dry place for
twelve hours Repeat this operation in about
Two weeks ana you will nave no more trogB-
IL is reported tina. the larger part Of Cen
.r-I he" York viii bee set out iu hons this
Gag. Thousand upon thousands OF u0p poles
are now passing over the railroads leading
IRON tue region of Northern New York and
canada, some OF the poles being mere shrubs.
while others are almost large enough TO be
planted o. telegraph wire supporters. The
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-04-20
plnn,,nr re-. ana snrul..

EuwanCer d Barry. uurservmeu OF Koch.
ester. n. l., give the following directions for
transplantnE trees and shrubs
Gu, OFT smoothly aN bruised or broken
roots up TO the sound wood This prevents
their ducnylug ana uastlus tine emission of
new roots ana flores Cut back tine top and
side branches Ia such s way as TO correspond
with the more or less muulatud roots. as luI-
lows Trees with branching heads should
have the small branches cut clean ont, and
tine larger ones. intended for tne framework
of the tree cut back u.. Within two or three
buds OF their bass. IN cases where there I-
an abundant ruu,. and small top or few
urauCuya. the pruning must u- very light.
Uut where the roots are small and tine top
heavy. severe pruning U-A bee necessary
These remarks are applicable 90 all ueCiaJ-
Gus trees and shrubs. Lyergraens seldom
require pruning but aruur vitae ANA other
evergreeus planted 10 hedge rows may D-
auyAntapeou-ly suuru immediately sitter
planting. In planting dig holes iu the first
place large enough TO admit tine roots of the
tree TO oe spread GU, 10 their natural posi-
ton Then. EN... .-g -r,e -. med as above
directed. let Que person hold tue tree III AZ
upright position. and the other shovel iu the
earth, carefully putting lu tie uuest ana best
from the surface IN among the roots filling
every lntersucg ana bringing every root in
contact with tine soil When the curth De
nearly filled d pail of water may be thrown
on to settle and wash ID the eartu around the
root, then till ln the remainder and tread
gently with the foot Guard against plant
ing too deep TIE trees. after tine ground
settles should stand lu this respect as they
did il tine nursery In very dry. gravel,y
ground. the holes should ue dug twice the
usual size and depth. and flied IN with good
ioauy soil. no muLur. should be used
around tine roots 40 the time OF planting Oh.
iy good surface soil Ine manure can be ap-
pied Oh tine surface afterwards. Ii the trees
are tall ana much exposed TO winds. a stake
should bee planted with the tree TO which %
should be tied IL slcu manner as 10 pre-
vent chAuug A piece OF mating or cloth
may Ue put between the tree and the stake
When the tree Is planted throw around it as
Jar as the roots extend ana foot beyond
four TO STA inches deep of rough manure or
litter This is particularly necessary in dry
ground. and is highly advantageous every.
where. both III spruE and fall planting j.
prevents the ground from baking or crack.
Ing. auu maintains an equal temperaJur,
about the roots The grass should not be Oh
lowed to grow around Young trees after be-
ing planted as il stunts their growth ana Ut
terry ruins them. The ground should be
Kept cIesu ana loose around them. until az
least they are We'll established