The Osceola times., 1883-06-16
The Comical Man.
Bnrdette.

/ met pleasant travelling acquain-
tance on the way from Sinclairville to
Fredonia. He said he went TO hear me
lecture last night, but he couldn't get a
seat, so he only remained a few minutes.
He said to me-
81 am comical man myself; used to
be right in the business all the time un-
til lost my voice. Tonsils give out. or
something, Oh, yes. Why, I'm on the
road now, travelling, and Pm known all
over the country as the comical man of
the road. Everybody knows me.
Stopped yesterday morning where there
was lot of Irishmen at work and began
talking with them. Brogue business,
you know Hope to die if they didn't
all stop to shake hands with me. Thought
| was Just over, you know. This is the
way paralyzed them, you know"
And then he gave specimen Of Irish
dialect;
"In faith and be jabbars, boys, an
sure an what are yez goin' to do NIT all
Of dot mortar undt brickbatsP p 1 says to
them"
"And that paralyzed the Irishmen?"I l
asked.
"You bet it did" replied the comicaI
man Of the road.
said should think it would. ! be-
iit we'd it would paralyze almost any live
man. In fact | felt a little dumb myself.
"Oh, yes" he went on, but dialect
singing used TO be my strongest hold"
Here he cleared his throat and the
passengers began TO leave the ear. But
without perpetrating the threatened out
rage, the cOmical man Of the road went
on: -, Ill, ,,.;,,, ,.,.,,.. ,,,,,,,o,,
business is that it is too monotonous.
Now, see, you talk right along an hour
and half, don't you|
lmeekly admitted my guilt.
"Well, now," said the comical man of
the road, "you ought to rest once in a
while, and have some fellow to come out
and sing little, or do some of his dia
leet business. That would give some
variety 10 your lecture. You can't do
any dialect, can you?'
said after hearing him | would be
ashamed. to try.
"Oh, WELL" the comical man Of the
road said with airy encouragement, you
could pick it up with little practice.
Do you sing"
! said that | knew several songs by
sight, but that / blindly and unselfishly
reirained from singing them in public.
We'll" he said, you ought to bring a
song or two into your lecture, and if you
could dance little it wouldn't hurt.
And right now I'll put you on TO rat
tling good piece Of business. / saw a
commercial traveller do ii down here at
Dunkirk He took hat and talked into
IT like telephone-answered him, you
know - telephone business - ventrilo-
quism. Are you a ventriloquist ?"
l blushed, and had to admit, with an
overwhelming and mortifying sense of
my deficiencies, that was not even
ventrioquist
Too bad" he said "Well, you ought
10 practice up on that, and bring in that
business. That would bring down the
mouse better than anything in your lee
ture last night. | could do it myself |
used to be one of the best ventriloqusts
IN the country until my tonsis collapsed
You know me, guess Why, you must
have heard of me My name is Whitby.
I'm called the comieal man Of the road"
Good heavens ~ / exclaimed, rising
TO my feet and taking off nv hat, as
this Whitby 2"
Yes" he said I'm Whitby. I'm
known as the comical man of the road.
thought you'd know me! What is
your name ?"
| meekly covered down into my cor
ner oil the seat, and fearfully admitted
that my name was only burdette," in
nor pareil, with little "b."
"Burdette," hs said, "where are you
from? ?"
l said, proudly, Burlington" in great
big letters.
Burlington" the comical man of the
road replied. "Oh, yes down here in
Vermont. Well, get off here. Don't
forget that telephone hat business, and
ana you can make that lecture of yours
90"
And the "comical man Of the road"
was gone. ! may forget the telephone
nat business, but will never forget Whit:
oy, the "comical man of the road"