Milford chronicle., 1883-04-27
WIT AND WISDOM.

LEI tAApaE MAAANll hAu Aunt ltit AAAni
stone and there will be no Windows
n, broken.
- WHEN she admitted feeding the board
ers fourteen times a week ON outlets,
% she revealed too much.
n If your good name is the only inheri-
i tance you can leave your children YOU
! had better begin to make one.
.e A NEW song is entitled, 1--WE never
e speak as we pass by" Probably they
q are both counting the same girl.
IF you want to see how much stir
{, your death will cause in the world, listen
/ to the sizzel of a snowflake ON a hot
1 brick
a GERMAN geographers propose to
n christen portion of the Northern ocean
e the Nordenskjold Sea. Don't it's kiold
enough now.
e EVERY hair in your head will stand
pressure of 1000 pounds before break
ing, but when your wife sets out to pull,
that's different matter
A MULE never kicks the same object
twice, probably for the same reason that
lightning never strikes twice in the same
place-it doesn't have to-
THERE is truth in the remark that
when person writes a poem to kill
time he may be pretty sure that time
viii have its revenge and kill the poem.
The most pressing necessity for spring
house cleaning has been delayed fre-
quently because there was a back fence
with neighboring woman leaning over
it.
The oldest peach packer in the United
States says the peach crop this year will
be large. When asked regarding the
probable size of baskets this year he
changed the subject
IT IS reported by some who have
"been there" that persons going fishing
in the remote portions of Florida "al-
ways leave Sunday at Jacksonville
to prevent breaking it.
AN OLD lady was asked her opinion
about Mrs. Smith, her next door neigh
Dor "WeI, " she said, "I am not the
one to speak i'll of anybody, but feel
very sorry for Mr.. Smith
The only time good man should play
poker is when the kitchen fire needs
raking. Even then it is liable 10 prove
a losing game unless he had previously
provided the proper amount of chips,
~ y Adyertiser
The Boston Commercial is constantly
asking questions of intricate construc-
lion. Just now it wants to know if,
when the man in the dock fumbles his
pocket for the one dollar and costs, it
S a case of feeling?
CABMEN receive only fifteen cents an
lom in Italy. When an American tells
me of them of the prices paid Niagara
lackmen the cabman asks him to get
,ut as he don't dare to ride about with
uch an Internal liar.
The Kansas editors are booked for an
EXCURSION in May. As they have not yet
ecided where to go, we deem it wise to
nnounce that smallpox continues topre-
all to an alarming extent throughout
colorado. -Donger Tribune
The Indians, more than any nation,
lake use of metaphor. The redskins
on have metaphor did not, however,
rike you pleasantly; though they
oubtless struck in some way if they got
chance. Boston Transcript
''SEE here, sir, said the leader Of the
liuuet to the orchestra director "DO
on think we are on the way to the
neral of a rich relative ? because, if you
o, you are very much mistaken. We
'e dancing the minuet Play slower
WHERE are your kids?" society
an asked, looking at the bare hands Of
poor but deserving editor at Wander
Its party. At home in bed, was
le indignant reply; do you suppose
L bring my children to a party ike
is?'
ROCKVILLE Conn, has three cornet
inds, three string bands aud drum
rps of twenty members. A railroad
hich runs through Rockville is said to
I'VE applied to the Legislature for per-
ission to take up it's tracks and circle
ound it.--New Harea Union.
A GALVESTON child, little Charlie, was
wing a wordy war with his nurse His
her sang out "Now, Charlie, are
IL goiug to be quiet OF shall come
tn switchg" Never mind the
itch. papa, responded the youngster;
an set her right without your help
g Ny DEAR, see that tow" said
as he pointed out in the lake
ere painting tug was hauling a long
q Of barges, "such is life-the tug is
e a man. working and toiling, while
barges, like women are" g know,
Mrs. G., aeridly, the tug
IS all the blowing and the barges bear
the burden.
THEBE's something about your
ighter, Mr. Wanghop said re-
,tively-" there's something about
II daughter" Yes, said old Mr.
istlepod, there is; l had noticed it
self 1t comes every night at 8
ock, and it doesn't get away usually
about II o'clock. And some Of these
nings am going to lift it all the way
n the front parlor to the side gate and