Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1883-02-03
TWAIN INTERVIEWED.

ING DChSC ASuoEnhCO Va ehV AA"
morist.
In ''The Stolen White Elephant" are
some of the best of Mark Twain's stories
and sketches. The following extract
from his account of an encounter with an
interviewer is full of his peculiar
flavor:
was not feeling bright thatmorning
Indeed my power seemed BIT under a
cloud. However, went to the book
case, and when I had been looking six
or seven minutes, found l was obliged
to refer to the young man. l
said: 80
Chow do you spell it?" aA
"Spell WHAT"
+ Interview"
;'Uh, my goodness! what do you want
tospell itfor?" s'
~"I don't want to spell it; want to see
what it means" sw.
"Well, thisis astonishing. must say.
I can tell you what it means, if You, if
you"
"Oh, all right. That will answer, and
much obliged to you, too"
"In, in, ter, ter, inter
t.Then you spell it with an I?'
"Why, certainty N
"Oh. that is what took me so long"
"Why, my dear sir, what did you pro
pose to spell it WITH" - e.
"Well, I--I-hardly know. / had the
unabridged, and | was ciphering around
it in the back end hoping l might tree
her among the pictures. But it's a very
old edition." sr. :ssv=
"Why, my friend. they wouldn't have
picture of 1t in even the latest e..
MY dear sir, I beg your pardon, mean
no harm in the world, but you3do not
look as-as-intelligent as expected
you would. No harm-I mean no harm
at ALL" 100, f..yr -
been said, and by people who would not
hatter and who could have no induce
ment to fiatter, that | am quite remark
able in that way. Yes-yes; they al
way speak of itwith rapture"
81 can easily imagine it. But about this
interview. You know it is the custom,
now, to interview any man who has be-
"Indeed,. I had not heard of it before.
YOU do it with?"
"Ah, well-well, this is disheartening.
It ought to be done with club in some
cases; but custoinarily it consists in the
interviewer asking questions and the In
terViewed answering them. 1t Is all the
rage now. Will you let me ask you GER
tain questions, calculated to bring out
your public and private history"
ooh, with pleasuse-with pleasure.
have very bad memory singularly
irregular. Sometimes it goes in a gallup,
and then again it will be as much IS a
fortnight passing a. given point
This is very great grief to me-"
ooh, it's no matter, so you will try to
do the best you can"
"I will. | will put my whole mind on
it,"
Thanks: Are you ready to begin?"
"Ready."
@. How old are you?
A. Nineteen, in June.
@. Indeed! I would have taken you
to be thirty-fve or six. Where were
you born?
A. In Missouri.
9. When did you begin to writer
A. In 1886. -..... ne.
2. Why, how could that be, if you are
only 10 now?
A. don't know. It does seem
curious, somehow. ~.
@. It does, indeed. Whom do you
consider the most remarkable man you
ever met?
A. Aaron Burr.
@. But you never could have met
Aaron Burr, if you are only 10 years
A. Now. if you know more about it
than do, what do you ask me for?
O.. Well, it was only sug sestlon;
nothing more. How did you happen
to meet Burr?
A. Well, 1 happened to be at his fun
eral one day.. aud he asked me to make
less noise, and ........
@. But, good heavens! if you were at
his funeral he must have been dead,
| and if he was dead how could he care
whether you made noise or not5
A. l don't know. He was always a
particular kind of man in that way.
@. Srill I don't understand it all. You
say he spoke to you, and that he was
lead? a-.. ..-
A. 1 didn't say he was dead. ..
@. But wasn't he dead?
A. Well, some said he was, some said
he wasn't. ri "
Q. What did you think? .s
A. Oh, it was none of my business
1t wasn't any of my funeral.
9. Did you-.. However, we can
never get this matter straight. Let me
ask about something else. What was the
date of your birth?
A. Monday, Oct. 81, 1893.
@. What! Impossible That would
| make you 1870 years old. How do you
account for that? ,....
A. I can't account for it at ALL
@. But you said at first you were only
10, and now you make yourself out to be
$50. It is an awful Discrepancy.
r A. Why, have you noticed that,
| Shaking hands) Many time it has
seemed to me like Discrepancy, bu
somehow couldn't make up my mind
How quick you notice thing!
| far as it goes. Had you, or have you
any brothers or sisters? -f5. -
4. Ehp Ill think so-yes-but
don't remember.
O. Well. that is the most extraordi
nary statement ever heard.
A. Why, what makes you think that!
O. How could think otherwise? Why
| look here! Who is this picture of or
the wall? Isn't that a brother of yours
A. Oil yes, yes. yes! Now you reminc
me of it, that was brother OF mine
That's William-Bill, we called him
Poor old Bill! .-s 81.
@. Why, is he dead, then?
| A. All! well, suppose SO. We never
could tell. There was a great mystery
about it. y }
@, That is sad, very sad, very sad. He
| disappeared then?
A. Well, yes, in sort Of general way
We buried him. Naa "
| @. Buried himl Buried him, without
| knowing whether he was dead or not2
A. Oh, no! Not that. He was dead
enough. -
| o. Well, confess that can t under.
stand this. If you buried him and you
knew he was dead, IA. -
! A. No! no! We only thought that he
| was.
0. Oh, I see! He came to life again
A. bet he didn't.
@. Vel, never heard any thing like
this. Somebody was dead. Somebody
| was buried. Now, where was the mys
| terry?