The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-01-02
Mark Twa,n,s barometer.

: Somebody was asking q Hartford man
how it happened that Mark Twain wrote
and published 80 little nowadays. ''He
writes 50 .nuch as ever" was the reply;
"but his barometer ls out OF order, and
he does not know what 10 publish; 80 he
publishes nothing"
"What in tho world has his barometer
to do with his literary activity"
CHS barometer ls man. yant named |
jacob, who Is remarkable for his deficient |
sense Of humor. Mark never can Judge OF |
the merit of his own performance. Years
ago he fell into the habit Of testing every
thing that ne wrote by observing Its effect
upon Jacob. If Jacob listened to the
reading OF the article, jest, or f!ory with |
unmoved couatenance, or mefolY
in perfunctory way, Mark ws$ ti;4sikSases
and sent the manuscript to tf2 printer.
But if jacob laughed outrighft ~ gave
any other indication of genuine nieIriment,
the humorist concluded that the stuff was
hopeless and withheld 1t from publication.
He regarded Jacob as infallible and came
to lean upon his Judgment.
"About three years ago, 1t appears,
Jacob learned for tho first time from some
outsider that his master was professional
humorist. He tclt greatly honored that
he should have been chosen habitually to
enjoy the first freshness Of every new pro-
duction OF genius. He did not exactly
| understand why he should have beeu thus
chosen, but felt In a vague way that a
great humorist must need sympathy and
appreciation, and must naturally look for
1t to the fellow being nearest at hand. He
also tet that he had perhaps failed to be
at all times sufficiently appreclative. So
Jacob kept his discovery 10 himself as tar
his mast er Was concerned, and resolved to
lie as uppreciative III tho future as anybody
could desire.
Zone day Mark called Jacob In and
read him sketch entitled 'Fhc Cow and
the Lightning-rod Man. In composing 1t
slark had hatlered himself that he had
struck pretty tipc streak. To his amaze
meut jacob put back his head and roared.
With half suppressed ejaculation Mark
dashed the manuscript into The waste
basket, Then Mark waited six weeks OF
two months to collect his forces (for he Is
never preclpitate in anything he does) and
achieved a romance called flow Bounced
the Baby He summoned JACOB and
watched his face with obvious anxiety al
he read the touching narrative. Jacobs
, nllrth was painful to observe. Mark tore
, up tue story and then tore his bar.
. "Two or three experiments Of this sort
y with unvarying results, persuaded Mark
= Twain that the malaria which lie has bee,
!, dreadlng ever since it began to creep VI
l. the Connecticut Valley. had re- $ched hin
l. at last and destroyed his powerf of useful
/ ness. He fell into a settled ,aelancholy
4 His friend, the Rov. Dir. Tw;$cl:sll, trie
in yam e cheer hun up, pt,;ssfy.S liz fySa, ,",,s S
fAasa =. Mar
1 Snook MS mead, and borrowedh volume @
Jonathan Edwards' sermons' from hi
lrlend 8 library. lie copied out a lon
: passage from the discourse on etc nal nun
ishment, and palnlcd 1t Off on Jacob as hi
l own latest elfort. For the nrs. time in his
,ory the gloomy periods provoked pesls O
, laughter. Jacob held his sides and SHOOT
| all over. Then he suddenly stoppcd. li
/ countenance became blank, turned pale
, ana he lncontinently fed. lie had seer
} murder IN his masters eyes.
\ That. said the Hartford man. In con
c'usion, lis why Mark Twain docs no
write: lie hung Lis reputation as a hu
morlst upon hls barometer, and his baron
cler no longer works"