Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-11-01
SchWOnl lllelsllOrH.


! Well, maester printer: | dinks I
mus write you few lines dis week I'm
tel you Something's about dat telefone.
You see l am not very good at english
un | get mixed up sometimes, un I
cannot sphell (spelD very good, but
den Artemus Ward was not good
sphel!er eder un still he wrote book;
un fact he wrote it in dree volumes.
Now you see where cum fohn shar-
nancy | heared desc bebles talk 50
mutch about telefones un | docht
(thought) it was very good dings so
| got one put in mire house; bat |
dinks must tare it out again. Ibid
not know the meaning Of the word
tclefone, but | soon found it out for
the dog dings, it tells on me ebery
ding | do un l can't keep holdings
secret fohn mine wife. You see AIN
bleck schmidt (tin -smlth) by trade
un mine shop is down street, so now
when cum home nearly ebery even
ing mine wife, Hannah. she is so mad
o, so mad she putty near pitrs her
self. One eveting | cum home und
Gust as cum to de door she cum dare
too, NIT her hair all hanging around
her head a. mad as ii hornasel (hor-
metz. Shon, she says, dat teletone
mus come out of de house for it goes
ting el. ling l-ling-el about 1740
times a.day un when ! cum to de
door m SAYS: who is dare, it is Shon,
ish dat you? No, Shon ish not
home. Den it is, well will come
again. Den | goes to my knitting
but before | gets dozen stitches den
it goes again ting-el-ling-el-ling-e -el.
IN when a comes to de door it is.
Shon ish dat you? How is that lit
tie g,l getting along down Broad
way? But den she dunderS against
de door NIT her fists un goes for a
bucket of hot water. Dat ebning
when | cum hone she was 80 mad
she would not gib ne any supper, I'M
she looked so red as torkey-gobler.
| axked her what was de madder, but
all she would say, was, Shon dat tel
efone mus cum out Of de house, dare
is too mutch clectrisity here, De
next morning gave her a kiss un
went to mine work un she was in
bully umer, but when l cum home
she dundered at me wild de broom
stick un brok it in dree pieces, un |
fell backwards down de stheps I'm
putty near broke mine neck Den
she pittied Inc ior all I'm she goes to
get mine supper, but before was half
done eating tick, tick, goes dat cleo
trisity again. Hellow Shon, is dat
you? How about that little widow
YOU met on the train the other day p
Den mine wife. Hannah, comes back
so mad, 0, so mad. she upset de table
un fell under it, un de hot coffee
sphilt over one side of mine whiskers
un schalded dem so da all cum out
Den | knowed de cats was loose, but
told her IL little lie an all was right,
Last night when | cum home all was
right but before got a chair away
goes dat wicket telefone agin, Hell
low Shon, Shon ish dat you? Mine
wifi Hannah was close to de door so
she says, who ish dare? Why Shon
don't you know me? No. Who ish
dare? l. Who ish l. Me. Who
ish me: Why Shon don't you know
that little widow you met on the
train the other day? How Is your
wife Hannah, an did she find it out ?
Shon l am going to take the same
trip tomorrow, Shon-but before she
could say any more, the little widow
felt a teapot coming through the
door, an at the same time, Hannah
with a roaring sound like a lion yell
ed out, "dunder init your little widow
un your trip tomorrow. Now ! knows
what all dis means. You Shon | tells
YOU, now I knows cbery ,lings, an I