davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01
nlanitomof pilot.
THURSDAY, MARCH 1, 1888.
q Personal Illustration Of How to Make
Home HauDy,


The other night Jones went home IN
one of those heavenly moods which
seem to fit man for a better world, and
after supper was over and the children
had gone to bed, he sat down to spend
an evening of unalloyed bliss with Mrs.
j. The fact was, pretty book-agent
had sold him a new work that day,
s.How to Make Home Happy" and
though he thought it best at present to
leave it at the office and gradually in
troduce it into the family circle, he was
inspired by perusal of it to do better.
So he drew the most comfortable
chair in front of the blazing coal-tire in
the parlor CRATE and seated himself for
the evening, while Mrs. j. filled rocker
on his right.
81 say, Maria, this is comfort" he
said, holding the newspaper between
him and the too ardent glow of the fire.
I'm glad you think So" answered
Maria, shortly. perhaps if you had
your back to cold room without any
fire or prospect of one, you might feel
differently; You know the sitting-room
stove"
Jones felt that he had started ON an
unlucky subject, and he fastened to
guide the steed of conversation into
smoother paths.
THAT reminds me, Maria, of the old
happy past. Do you remember when l
used to visit you at your fathers, and
we would sit for hours gazing into the
glowing depths of a wood frep"
meandered Jones.
Il should think / did, responded
Mrs. j., Il used to wonder if you would
ever go. Mother was waiting to set the
buckwheat cakes, the last thing, and we
always had them heavy for breakfast.
How you used to hang on and how
spooney you were"
Failure number two; but Jones had
braced up to stay in and make home
happy for one evening, and the moral
rectitude of his purpose sustained him.
They've started a reading club over to
Sawyer's, | hear" he remarked pres
emily.
ITO keep him home, nights, dispose"
suggested Mrs. Jones. ''Well it will
take club, and a good strong one, to
do it, though, for my part, should be
glad to have him out of the way if he
was my husband. l wonder if he will
ever get his wife that seal-skin cloak
he's been promising hertz
Eyes" said Jones family, che brought
it home tonight
moi You don't mean it! Well,
viii say this for Tom Sawyer, he's gen.
erous to fault. And he's really bought
her a seal skin, and their pew is right
in front of ours! What luck some
women do have. l suppose it's luck.
and Mrs. Jones sighed in a depressed
manner.
Mr.. Jones took his hat and said there
was a mana customer of his-that was
in town stopping at the hotel, and he
had nearly forgotten he had an appoint
ment with him on business, and Mrs. J.
skipped out and ran over to Sawyer's
and tried the new sealskin on, and the
next day Jones gave that copy of ''How
to Make Home Happy" to his Office boy
and told him to sell it at a secondhand
book store and keep the money.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01
THE Persian Wau

A certain Persian city having
ed all its funds, and knowing of no way
to raise more, the Mayor laid the case
before the Governor of the Province.
Have you doubled the taxes?"
eve have
''Have you borrowed from the rich?''
every dollar that they will lend"
''Have you issued bonds?"
eve have, but no one will buy them
at any price
''Have you stolen all the school
moneys?''
months ago, illustrious Ruler"
"Pawned the city scalp
'Yea, verify
'Mortgaged the City Hall?"
''1ea, five times over"
cit is indeed a serious case" unused
the Governor. as he scratched his ear.
''Ihe only way out of it is to go home
and announce an era of reform"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01
billiards for Girls

Two girls of this city having heard
that Elizabeth Cady Stanton advised
billiards for girls, concluded to profit by
the advice of so wise counselor, and
the other day when the men folks were
all down town the girls in question adj
iourned to the billiard room to have
game.
What shall we playP'' asked the
elder.
why, billiards of course"
Il know you silly thing, but there's
different kinds of billiards. / mean what
kind shall we play. There's discount,
and hundred or nothing, and pin bali
and fifteen pool
'sOh, l don't know; which is the
nicest?'
Hundred ornothing's easy; mabe we
had better begin on thai"
'All right
"Well, why don't you get your pole
and shoot? its your first shot"
mo, it amt either, We have to choose
for shot,
That's so, well, here; ock-a-bock-a
= bona crock-a- ock-a- BoCK-A =
TUSE, there, its your first shot!''
''Why you mean thing! Tain't no
such thing
Don't you call me a cheater, or I'll
tell ma you take pickles to bed with
you"
'.Well, I don't care; ocka-bocka amt
fair; you know you always saiditwasn't
in ketcher."
'Well, do it yourself, them
zone err-y-orr-err-y -ick-or-y-ann
-fill-i-son-fal l-i-son-nick- o-las-John
Que-vy = qua-vy = English = navey-
stink-unl-sT K-UM-BUCK! There,
now I told you so; you have to shoot"
"Well, I'll shoot but faint fair.
What are you laughing at, you little
fool?n
'.Te-he-he-he. You amt got no chalk
on your stick; you know heap about
billiards, you do"
"You think you're smart, now, don't
you? Well you amt. You dasen't put
chalk on only when you make run,
there! 1 guess I've seen pa hundred
times"
''Oh you big story teller, saw pa
put chalk on his stick thousand times
in one game and he never made more'n
two in his life. George says pas a
chump in billiards.
s'You horrid, nasty thing! What did
ma tell you about being slangyp If
don't tell on you, I'm goat.
"Whatch you doni' yourself! Better
mind your own self. Goody! goody!
Now see what you've DONE" as the
other made a lunge at the ball with a
tipless cue and tore forty inch slit in
the cloth.
''Well you made me do it; then she
pulled the others hair, they both cried,
and the tournament was over.-CS1.
Sat. Night.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01

A hunter fired at bird as it flew over
the door-yard of an Arkansaw residence.
A boy that was playing around was
struck by couple of shot, and his loud
cries brought his father to the scene -
what have you done?' he demanded
of the hunter, drawing a revolver u
beg ten thousand pardons,'' exclaimed
the hunter. In my eagerness to secure
the bird fired thoughtlessly, and feal
l have seriously wounded your son. -
''Sonr' said the old man. 81 thought
you had hit my dog. Mind how you
shoot around here. for if you put shot
into that dog I'll cut off both you1
ears
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01

Lord Derby has doubtless many a
time chuckled over his sagacity in sell
ing his fine Tipperary estates before the
troubles there began. His father left to
his younger son-Lord Derby's only
brother-Col. Stanley, Beacopsfield's
war secretary, the choice between $780,
900 and the Irish property. He took the
former Lord Derby, on receiving the
latter, sold it for SSOO,00O to a rich
Dublin merchant. The tenants sent a
deputation tc fnowsley, entreating Lord
Derby not to Sell, but he said he must
do so, because he could not live in Ire
land and would not be an absentee
landlord
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01

He Forgot.

Yesterday afternoon man who want
ed to see the occupant of an Office on
Woodward avenue climbed four pairs
of stairs to discover that the person was
out and the door locked. He had de-
scended to the street again when an
acquaintance asked:
'.Been up to see BlankPh
Yes"
eWas he in?''
NO"
BLANK is very particular sort OF
man, and I hope you shut the door"
..I-I-hanged if l haven't forgotten
whether l did or not
And he climbed up again to the head
of the third flight before ne felt anything
strike him.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01
He Had Some Change,

We are told that the new nickel coins
are to be an improvement in weight and
symmetry and inscription and design
over those now in use. We are pleased
TO hear it. At present hepious legend,
I'm God We Trust, is put upon some
of our coins, not upon others. On look
ing over some change in our pocket,we
notice that it does not appear on any of
the one-cent coins, that it is on the two
cent coin minted 1867, and that it is on
the nickel minted in 1869. 1t does not
appear upon any of the greenbacks
within sightat this moment.-Meao York
Sun
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01
Pennsylvania Dutch.

A New Orleans subscriber writes:
Speaking of Pennsylvania Dutch, l am
one of them myself. and as to there be-
ing any English, French or Spanish in
their 'unwritten language, | think it is
a mistake to suppose so. have yet to
hear in that dialect word that would
suggest any other language than the
German. | have seen in certain York
Co., Pa, papers news in the dialect OF
the PENNSYLVANIA Dutch"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01

In single block in Philadelphia, EN-
bracing five acres, there are 80 build
ings with an aggregate value of s., 900,
600, whose contents have avalue of from
25,00o,0 900 to $4,000. 600, making the
total value from $4,000, 600 to 1913.
600, 600 insured PROBABLY for abom
three-fourths of this amount, say S25.
100000. Five millions of insurablt
property to the acre.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01
a Blessing to all Mankind

In these times when our Newspapers
are flooded with patent medicine adyer
tisements, it is gratifying to know what
to procure that viii certainly cure you.
If you are Bilious, blood out of order,
Liver inactive, or generally debilitated,
there is nothing in the world that will
cure you SO quickly as Electric Bitters.
They are blessing to all mankind, and
can be had for only fifty cents DO tie
of Robinson & Henrichs. q
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01
WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT IT.

Mess Robinson & Hiarichs:-W take
this means of attesting our high opinion
of Hislrichs' american Corn Cure. Our
opinion of its value in removing CO57as
and Warts is based on he fact that we
have used it and have found that it will
do just what you claim for it. AS cure
for Cor7as and Warts it is deserving of
the highest praise. and we take pleasure
in recommending it to all who are affiict-
ed, knowing that it will effect cure in
every instance.
Yours respectfully,
II. d. SMALLEY, Justice of the Peace.
HUGH MORRISON, City Marshal.
r. ID SMART, County Judge.
@. III. SCHMIDT, Editor NOrd IVesten.
FRED. HEINEMAN, City Clerk.
@. $. CANRIGHT. HENRY BURCHRRDr.
A. ID. SMITH. III. KLINGHoLZ, oil.
E. BRANDEIs Royal SNIFFIN.
JOHN PITz. FRANK A. MILLER.
j. z. REINDL. VIM. RUNGE.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01
RTTCKI FMS ARNTCA SAJVE.

The best salve in the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever
sores, letter, chapped hands, chilblains,
corns, and all skin eruptious, and posi-
lively cures piles. It is guaranteed to
give perfect satisfaction or money re-
funded. Price 25c per box. For sale
by Robinson & Hinrichs. 16marS3
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01

Considerable newspaper comment is
caused by the fact that man was re-
Gently declared insane merely upon the
evidence that he lived in a boarding
house. The papers haven't yetre aehed
the true inwardness of the affair. He
wasn't declared insane because he
dwelt in a boarding house. 1t was be-
cause he was never heard to growl at
the butter.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01
VERY WELL PUT.

Why do we defer till to morrow what
we should do to-day? Why do we
neglect cough till 1t throws us into
consumption, and consumption brings
US to the grave? DR. VIM HALLS
BALsAM is sure to cure if taken in season.
1t has never been known to fail Use
it thoroughly according to directions.
Persevere till the disease is conquered,
as it is certain to be, even if it should
require a dozen bottles. There is no
better medicine for Pulmonary disorders,
Sold everywhere.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01
Bakers Eaia Paracea.

Is one of the best Liuiments put up.
1t isa real pain killer, aud destroys pain,
whather internal or external, whenever
used II has been a standard remedy for
the past thirty or forty years.
TOWNSHIPS TooTH ANoDYNE cures
instantly.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01
Where True Politeness Is.

There is no race on earth in which
there is more true politeness than in
ours. Our bearing toward ladies,
toward aged persons, persons holding
political or religious office is manly,
gentle, dignifed. often chivalric Con-
scious of this refined and native courtesy
we observe the spirit rather than the
letter of etiquette. When once we see
rules take the place of the instructive
politeness that characterizes Americans,
we shall expect to see our manners be-
come as brutal as European manners
usually are-Baltinlore Ecery Saturday.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01


Are you a Dyspepticl lave
you Indigestion ? Isyour Liver
sluggish? Does your food
trouble you2 Does sleep fail to
refresh you2 Is your appetite
and energy gone? ZoPEsA will
cure you, tone you up, and in
vigorate your whole system. 1t
is gentle purgative. acts upon,
and gives strength and energy
to the digestive apparatus. 1t
is strongly anti bilious, carries
off all surplus bile, tones the
Liver, gives sound Digestion
aud speedy health to the Dys-
peptic and the Bilious. Try
10 cent sample at least of Robin
SON + Hiorichs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01
The Princess Smoking,

A package of cigarettes was placed
before the Princess Louise, and, with
that ease that comes from practice, she
lit one and pulled as even a volume of
smoke from her sweet lips as ever came
from the mouth of a Spanish student
She smoked cigarette after cigarette,
and talked and laughed like young
schoolgirl on lark. The Princess is
remarkably beautiful, her countenance
glowing in every feature with the stamp
of royalty. She resembles strikingly
the pictures of Queen Victoria in her
early womanhood. She has the Prince
Albert nose and eyes, however. Her
skin glows with changing tints of
pinky whiteness, and when she laughs
the whole face becomes sufused with a
healthful bloom, and the large ewes
sparkle with bewitching mirthfulness.
Her eyes are slightly darker than hazel,
and match her hair, which appeared to
be abundant At the back it was thrown
into soft entwining braids and gathered
into net, while from the crown of the
head it fell in loose puffS on her white,
queenly face. a dark brown satin bow
served the purpose of n diadem. Her
mouth is small and the lips dark car
mine, and a dimpled chin adds to the
already abundant charms of her face
Louisville COuTieT-,yOuT11aE
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-01
R Tn. Halls
I2alSa11lII11 LII T IS5

Cures consumption, Colds. PneamO-
mia bronchial Difficulties. KEseacbi-
It's. Efoatsaacss. Esthnsa. - aocpEDE
Cough. Group s.nGi All Diseases OF ;he
Rrea2Hi@g Organs. Il s99thes and
ssassss Gsas is III. .Ts-Ele OF ti.e lungs, ;Es-
I:ssnc.t and poiSona5 by TAG disease,
and prevents :sse night ssveats and
tine fig;.taeSs across the chest which
aesOEap an it. GossGSaPEsoH ;snot
an incur;a1Ie Is,;sIs4tiy. z SE;,75 BAL
SAM WIFE cure ySu, et en- though pro-
fcssIoas.i ai. fails. oct5-S5
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1883-03-31

A general order was issued from the
Postal Department directing that all the
post-offices of the country should be closed
from 9 to S o'clock p M, on Wednesday the
2Sth inst, the day of the late Postmaster
Generals funeral, and also that the offices
shall be draped in mourning thirty days in
respect TO the memory of tho deceased
official, but as the order was not received
by our Postmaster until Thursday evening
the Goth, he could not obey its first speciti
cation. The second will be duly observed,
however and appropriate symbols of
mourning will be displayed during the
prescribed PEREZ.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1883-03-31
The following letters tell
their own story.
"VALDosFA, Ca, July 90, 1

"VALDosFA, Ca, July 20, 1882.
sold one of your Patent Dust Proof Cases
about ten months ago, and the other day it came
back to me with the request to make it wind
easier. On examination found that the stem
was rusty. and inquired into the cause of it.
The gentleman stated to me that he was starting
some saw-logs that had lodged in the bend of
the river, when his chain caught in bush and
threw his watch into about twelve feet of water,
and he was about two hours finding it. When
he got it out it was running and he thought all
right. In about three months he found that
the stem was hard to turn and sent it to me.
can say that the watch is all that the Com
pany claims for it and recommend 1t to all
railroad and mill men.
B. W. BENTLY"
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1883-03-31
B. W. BENTLY."
"CL1NTos, Iowa. April 20, 1881.

"CLINToE, Iowa. April 20, 1881.
wish you would send me spring for the
VIM. Ellery Watch. = BY the way, this
Ellery is a watch I sold in your Screw Bezel
Case to farmer last fall. The first of January
he lost the watch in the woods, and found it this
week in about a foot OF water. It had lain three
months and over in snow and water, with but
slight injury to the watch-only handspring.
C. 8. RAYMOND"
The above were very severe tests. and demon
strate beyond n doubt, that for any reasonable
length Of time during which watch might be
under water, it would receive no injury what
ever.
We make these cases in both gold and silver,
and as Perfectly Dust-Proof, Stem Wind
ing Watch Case, Challenge the World to
Produce Its Equal.
For Sale by all First-CIass Jewellers.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1883-03-31

The CHIEF office was .honored, and the
-Felicianians who inhabt the establish
ment were pleased to receive a visit on
Wednesday from Mr. Geo. P. Kaufman, son
of Dr. Z. G.. A. A. kaufman of St. Francis
vile, one of the leading physicians of that
ing and agreeable young gentleman, and is
as full of spirit rs an egg is of meat. He is
employed as travelling agent of New Or
leans mercantile firm and has just returne d
tarried with us briefly, then left for the
Crescent City.
DIR. w. A. Thompson, q we'll known spec
ialist who has been practicing successfully
in New Orleans for some time past, will
visit Donaldsonville next week and may be
consulted at the Lee Hotel on Tuesday next.
The diseases which he treats are mentioned
in the advertisement which appears in an
other column, and sufferers from ailments
of the nature therein referred to would do
well to give him an opportunity to afford
LneIu Eellcl' III Iuoiipeoh has hdu q HUI
Der of patients in this and adjoining parishes,
several Of whom gave him fiattcring testi-
monials of his skill and success that have
been made public through the press, and
upon the assurance of men whom we know
to be reputable and reliable, we feel sure in
recommending the Doctor as safe and able
practitioner.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1883-03-31
"a BLESSING IN DISGUISE"
484 ADELPHI St., BROOKLYN, N. Y,
RSo,o4, 90 1907

March 20, 1881. s
No family should be without ALLoooK's PoR-
GUS PLAsTERs; their healing powers are Won
derful and their efficacy far reaching and lasting
For years past have seen and known them to
cure and relieve the most obstinate and distress
ing cases of rheumatism, neuralgia, lumbago,
inflammation of the lungs and throat, kidney
complaint, bronchitis. paralysis, asthma. spinal
weakness, and coughs and colds. In my own
case they have afforded me almost instant and
permanent relief. Ny friends consider them
an invaluable and speedy remedy for all kinds
of aches and pains. They are a blessing in dis
guise; and no wife or mother should be without
them if she alues her peace and comfort and
freedom from nervous exhaustion and other
ailments. AS strengthening plaster, also for
backaches and weaknesses, they have no equal.
have never yet found a plaster SO efficacious
and stimulating, or to give SO much general
satisfaction. Used in connection with BRAND
RETHs universal lfe-giving and life-healing
PILLS. no one need despair of speedy restora-
ton to sound health,
MRS. E. TOMPKINS.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1883-03-31
LIST OF LETTERS
HOTEL ARRIVALS
At the Town of DonaIdsonvIe for the Week
Ending Yesterday.

Ending Yesterday.
LEE HOTEL-P. L. Brothers, Jos. Lauver-
gat, G. s. Harmon, l.. Pugh. Y. A. Woodward
4. b. Sheppard, G. r. Kaufman, VIM. Halo
way, J. j. Martin, ". G. Churchill. M. Gold
stein, New Orleans; J. ]. Kirwin, H. Roseman,
l.. Isaacs, New York; Thos. Il. Harris and
daughter, Baton Rouge; c. T. MORE, Lynch
burg, Va; e. F. Dyer, Algiors. La; John s.
Mcdonald, Ascension;J J. B. Pittman, Lafourche
La.
PEEP-O'-DAY HOTEL-H. W. Carver. J. E.
son, 4. Hydaigo. Ascension; Albert Thompson,
Plottenville; G. L. Muller, Dayton, o.; Abram
Gumble, l.. E. Jung. H. Foulon, Edward De
Verges, Henry Mason. New Orleans; A. Ban
gore, st. Charles; F. 0. Savoie, st. John; P. T.
Besse, n 0. Fulteman, 2. Wives, Assumptions;
Louis Corde, Napoleonville; Chas. Jones, Colo
RADIO; Tango G. de Malto, st. james; D. T.
Blanchard, Paincourtville.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1883-03-31

PROPOSED PARK.-The committee of the
Nolan club appointed to consider the park
question has decided to recommend the
formation of joint Park Association with
capital of about $500, divided into fifty
shares of $40 each, with view to procuring
the use of two of the vacant squares of
ground ear the railroad, including the one
where base ball is now played, and estab-
fishing park that shall not only answer the
purposes of base ball clubs, but will also
furnish accommodations for picnics, festi-
walls, fairs and especially for the excursion
summer season. With such large area of
ground available, there would be ample
room for a clear ball field and considera-
BILE space besides that could be ornamented
with shade trees, leaving all needful room
for such seats, booths and other structures
as might be deemed desirable. With ener-
getic and proper management we believe
this project can he made highly successful,
this character would not only be an orna-
ment and credit to the town, but it would
attract people from the surrounding country
and excursonists from New Orleans whose
presence would emil ven all kinds of bust
ness. There ought to be no trouble what
ever in placing the small amount of stock
necessary to get the movement Under way,
and every business man in town should take
at least one share. If this suggestion is
acted upon, there would be so many in
terested in the success of the park that it
would be success beyond question.
A colored man named Alex. Wheeler died
in st. Helena parish at the advanced age Of
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1883-03-31

The new Schonberg stable on Railroad
Avenue, adjoining Schulers blacksmith
shop, is a roomy and comfortable building,
admirably adapted to the uses for which it
is intended. Tho plan of construction and
the manner in which the work was executed
are alike to be commended, and the same
can be said of all buildings put up by that
skillful knight of the hammer and saw, Mr..
Il. II. Dunn. We congl atuate Mr.. Schon-
berg upon the acquisitio on of such desirable
quarters for his stock and business, and
shall be glad to find that the new stand
proves profta as we'll as pleasant.