The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1883-04-22
Fun. Fact. and Fiction.

Fun, Fact. and Fiction.
What IS the most difficult problem Of
vision? The site Of the new CITY Hall.
Ii the Lone Star State meteor did not
cover an acre. as at fr-t reported, ii "took
I'm " great many Wise-ocreS.
At this time OF the year the beer-selers
| hang out pictures OF the festive goat Thee
are intended TO attract the young kids. AID
it is presumed that they succeed in 80 DC
ing.-Bostoa Transcript.
The paragraph in one OF our exchanges
stating that Lolita, the actress, is "thirty
years old. single. and worth 500 900"
must be true, for we saw the sane thing IN
print fifteen years ago. N0rriStOCn Her
dd.
1t frequently happens that what a man
saves in one way he loses in another. For
instance. a Texas man jumped from % NOV
ing train the other day to save miles
walk to his house. He hit his head against
tree aud lost his brains. -- Nec OriedpS
PicaYme.
In modern Egypt young man i not
permitted 20 see hi, wifc'S face before mai-
riage. This Is rather rough on the young
man, but it prevents the newspaper, of
Egypt from making jokes about the girl
enticing him into an ice-crcam saloon and
| hankrupting him in the first rOund.--Nor-
rist0lcR Herdld.
Who wrote Wordsworth's poems ="
asks an exchange. We are not guilty, any
! how, unless we wrote 'em when we We're
asleep. The probabilities are that the same
| fellow who wore Wordsworth's shirt and
pantaloons also wIotc his poems. The
theory, at least. is plausible. NOJrisioUn
| HerGd.
\ visitor IN the country, seeing q very
old peasant woman doing at her cottage
door, asks q little hoy of >iN or seven. who
happens to be playing near by, how old she
is. - can't say, SIR replies the child.
politely, but she must be very old She has
been here ever since | can remember. -
Chddren'S Chronicle.
A gentleman who met Senator Hoar. OF
| Massachusetts, recently. told him that some
| Boston clcrgymcn had conceived the idea
OF setting apart day 10 offer up prayers
for the conversion Of Ben. Butler. eli YOU
have any influence with Them" said the
senator. eXcitedly, "pray exert it 10 pre-
vent the cOnSummatiOn OF their purpose.
Edgle.
"Pa, | wish you would buy me- little
pony" said johnny. ~ haven't got any
money TO buy you pony, my Ion. Nou
should 20 10 school regularly. my son,
study hard, and become q smart man. and
some OF these days, when you grow MP.
| YOU will have money on your own to buy
! ponies with Then / suppose, pa, you
didn't study much when You were %
| little boy like me, or else YOU would hsye
money now to Duy ponies with. wouldn't
you, pay"-Ierds SJtiHgs.
"Misslonary work in West Virginia
81 Is your husband at home 2" " 80. he IS
coon bunting. He killed two whoopng
big 'coOns last sunday" Does be- fear
the LOrd?" 81 GUESS he does. cause he
always takes his gun with him" - Have
| YOU any Presbyterians around heref"
don't know II he has killed any OF NOT.
You can go behind the house and look az
| the pile Of hides and see If YOU can find
any OF their skins II see that YOU are
| living in the dark?' YES, but my nus
band is going to cut out window soon"
Wheeling Register.
4 dude went into a New York photo
grapher's the other day 10 get ms picture
taken lin character" He appeared m
party-cOlored garments Of silk, with lilac
| silk stockings. The artist posed hun, and
g'ancing down to his feet. exclaimed:
Bless my soul; do YOU want me 10 take
these patent-leather bottiuesy son -
said the dude, "no, not at all. Wait
a moment, yer know and taking out
two pink rOsettes from his pocket the
dude fastened them i'm the in,tcps OF
| his bottines, and exclaimed There you
are, yer know" "May ! ask what Won
representa-" said the puzzled photograph
er. "Ah! I'm Folly. don't-cher-knOw:
was the reply. But said the photo
grapher, "Folly Is n woman "leS, OF
course, Of course; but I'm male Folly,
don't-cher-know - Detroit Free Press.
He was one Of the old-time darkie>,
lately from Dinwiddie county. Ills hair
tied up with cotton-yam and . muchly-
patched coat OF homespun jeans, he was
picture OF a pantation-hand Of long
ago. He had been badly uSeG since he ar
rived in Richmond, and, a. he stepped
upon the stand TO testify against a colored
girl who had stabbed him in the back with
a fork. Commonwealth Attorney wiz
said "Well, old man, tell Us
what you know about this affair"
"Well, you see. Jedge, ies come fun
Dunuddie county las Sadday. an day 10
yistiddy I-I-was gwyn down-leme see,
l b'leye de call it seventeenth street--when
dat little black gal dar-dar she, settn
right dar-turn round, she did, an say,
Oar go dat d black scoundrel now
l turn rouu, dld, an | say jes so, Hi!
gal; how IN de name o. Cord you know me
so soon!' didn't wan make no miration
bout II; but she come up TO me. she did,
and stab mo right hear in de back wild i
fork whar she hilt in her ham,