South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1883-06-29

Wuefo are yoo gong my
hstie man9' To school, And what
DO you do 1t SCHOOL, Do you learn 10
reada' NO To writer NO! To
eountr NO What do Jon dor i
wait for school 70 let ou,.'. -
WArcIiNe OSE's SELF.-when 1
was boy, said a. Old man, we had a
school master who bad an oda way OF
catching the idle boys. One day he
called to ~. Boys. ] must have closer
attention to your books. The first one
that sees another idle ] want ron to
inform me, and I win attend to the
ease.''
Ab, thought I to nyself. there is
Joe Simmons, thai don't like. III
watch him. and if see him look Off
his book I'll tell Itwas not long before
saw Joe look OF his book, and immc.
diately I informed the master
'Iodeed.' said he, how did you knov
he was idle?'
Il saw him. said !. ID.
You didP And were your eyes on
your book whom you saw him2'
L was caught aud I never. watched
fox idle boys again
II We are sufficiently watchful over
our own conduct, We shall have no time
to 6nd fault with the conduct of others.
Time Is short, and il your cross be
heavy. remember you have not far to
carry It.
Mrs. Darlington, what do you use
for very bad cold2' asked Mrs Bull
Handkerchief maui, answered the
aged dame, looking over her spec,acles.
man coming aboard.
No said an Irish stewart, an the
man that tolls the mate
when i goes shopping said nm
old lady, Il alters asks for what wants
and if they have it, and its suitable, and
feel inclined to take 1t. s. it's cheap, &
1t cant be got at any other place for
less, almost alters take it, without
chaffsring about it all day, as mos.
peopleH
WHAT THEY Do AT THE SPRINGS
1 heard a little girl reci,e the other
day What they do at the springs
They drink, and they drink aud
they drink-and that's what they do at
the springs.
And they eat, and they eat, and they
eat, and that's what they do n. the
springs
And they flirt, and they fir., and
they hirt, and that's what they do a,
the springs.'
And they walk, and they walk, and
they walk, and that's what they do at
the syringe
And they sleep, and they sleep, and
they sleep. and that's what they DO at
the springs
And they eat. and they drink. and
they walk and they fiirt. and they slice o
and they pay; anG that's what they de
at the springs
Il remember said n Detroit boy 20
his Sunday school teacher, you told
me to always stop and count fifty
when angry Yes We'll, I'm glad to
hear it, 1t cooled your anger, didn't
III? You see boy he camo into our
alley and made faces at me and dared
me to fight, / was going for him. He
was bigger'n me, end I'd have got pull
verified. remembered what you Sid
and began TO count And you didn't
fghtr No na'um. Jus. ns I got TO
forty.two my big brother come along,
and the way he licked that boy would
have made your mouth water! was
going TO count fifty and then rum
William Penn and Thomas Story
travelling together In Virginia, being
caught in shower OF rain, unceremo-
niously sheltered themselves from it in
tobacco warehouse the owner OF which
happening TO be in, thus accosted them
You have great deal of impudenco to
trespsss on my premises--you enter
without leave. Do you know who
au2 TO which was answered, Mo-
Why then would have you TO know
that am a justice Of the peace Thos
Story replied. MY friend here makes
such things as thou art! lie 10 the
Governor Of pennsylynnia.
Considerate father: 'You should eat
Graham bread, my son. it makes bone.
Responsive youth: HIN, I'm about
all bones now
Fred, aged seven. was handling a
l.. 4 l. 4