Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1883-07-17
The Young Man who Showed off.

The other day young man about twenty
years of age, accompanied by girl two OF
three years younger, reached the city by q
Bay City train, and after looking around
for few hours returned to the depot and
bought some sandwiches for lunch. The
fellow was heard Dragging good deal as to
what he had done and could do, and what
cities he had visited, and by and by he
walked up to the depot policeman and
handed him four five-cent cigars and said
THAT'S my girl in there"
''She just thinks her eyes of me-"
'TSo?'
fI've never had chance to show her
how ID die for her if necessary, and it seems
to me we might put up little job right
here"
GLOW q"
'fWell, suppose, me and her walk out to
see the river. leave her for moment
Some chap comes along and begins to chin
her. rush back and knock him into the
middle of next week. She'd want to marry
me within week. Girls of her age just
dote on heroes, you know?"
'tYes, they do"
'FWell, you help me. You pick out some
chap around here and tell him what I'm up
to, and l won't mind standing treat for all
hands. When rush in on him he'd better
rum"
Five minutes later the girl stood on the
wharf alone. A fellow big enough to pitch
a barrel of -four over freight car ap-
preached in careless way and Observed
Fine day, miss?''
Eyes, SIR
''Nice view of the Canada shore? ''
eyes, indeed"
''May I offer you some peppermint
loz-?''
Just then the young man came rushing
down. When he came within ten feet OF
the fellow he cried OUT
civilian! take your leave or I'll toss you
into the river!''
ooh, guess not" carelessly replied the
other
"Base scoundrel! l am here to rescue
this young girl from your clutchesp'
Don't bust any buttons off, my young
cub!''
The young man made dash. He had to
or wilt. He rushed at the big chap with
his arm appraised and heroism in his eye,
and the next minute he was picked up and
tossed over among a lot of green hides as
carefully as if he had been glass. Then the
big man raised his cap to the girl smiled
sweetly as he bowed and. scraped his foot,
and he was out of sight before the young
man recovered sufficiently to call OUT
Minnie, did I kill him ?"
NO. Henry"
''Thank Heaven that l am not guilty OF
murder! Let him beware, however. An
other time I may not be able to restrain
myself "'-DetroH Free Press.
A MEAN TRIcK.-A man who probably
hailed from Buffalo played a powerful
mann triolz ~, natrOit oo,DIo q
Niagara Falls the other evening. They
went to a hotel and registered, had sup
per- and then started out for night view
of the mighty roarer. They had not gone
far when a man called to them and said:
"Have you just been married ?''
"We h-have," answered the groom.
"Going to stay here day or two ?''
eyes"
'Having registered at my hotel, you
probably intend to remain there ~
eyes. Sir"
''Well want to say word to you.
don't want any ducky deary nonsense
around my house. | want no popsywopsy
business ON the verandas. I want no
squeezing hands on the balconies or feed
ing each other at the table,"
The groom let his arm fall from his
BRIDES waist in a slow and painful manner,
and the stranger continued:
''The first time you call her peaches and
cream or she calls you her darling out you
gop'
'I-yes SIR"
''She's no sweeter than ten thousand 9TH
er girls, and you are no more of darling
than l am, and won't stand lovesick non
sense
He walked away with that, and people
at the Falls who knew the bridal couple
were amazed to hear them address each
other as MI. and Mrs. and to see what pre-
cautions they took to prevent touching
hands or betraying any symptoms of love.
They put in two wretched days, and it was
only as they were upon the point of leav-
ing that they discovered how a base villain
had duped them,