davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26
The Car-Driver's Fun.

Sometimes" says a car-driver, IL
get hold of horse that hasn't been
quite broke in, and then usually look
out for fun. Most drivers don't like it,
because they are sure to get sat down
on generally. The passengers go for
him for not getting along faster, and
the conductor gets mad because he
thinks you don't manage the horse
right, and the company don't like it
because you get behind time. But my
shoulders happen TO be broad, thank
the Lord. After the balky horse has
stopped ten or fifteen times on the
route, he fairly gets his mad mp and
declares he won't go any further.
Well, the conductor rings the bell and
only one horse starts, and we don't go
worth cent. So I've nothing to do
but to lick the balky horse. And the
lady inside next the window takes her
tongue away from the ruff of her
mouth with a noise like an infant tor
pedo and says: Jest see how that man
is beating those horsesp And the old
lady next to her says: l know it. Did
you ever see anything like it? /
shouldn't think they'd let him. Then
somebody else says: I'd like to know
what's the matter now. This is about
the tenth time we've stopped since We
left the bridge. l don't see why we
can't get along without so many stops.
Then somebody yanks open the door
and calls ont, Say, driver, what's the
matter? Why can't we go on?' Some
body on the platform says: Horse
bocEyr Horse becky says the other.
We'll, that amt no way to manage a
becky horse. Why don't somebody get
out and lead him. l don't see any
reason why whole car full of people
should he waiting in the middle of the
street Just because the driver don't
know his business Then finally the
horse gets to waltzing. That always
frightens the women. They holler,
and most of the passengers stand up in
the car to see what's going on, and the
horse makes up his mind all of sud
den to go on, and the way them peo-
pie go down does me more good than
all the rest of it. And so it goes on.
No fun driving horse car? Well, /
suppose there amt to man who hasn't
got it in him. "-BOStOn Globe.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26
MiIlionaires Who Began Poor.

The least remarkable thing about
Russell Sage is that he is self-made-
ne began poor. This is the common
lot of all Americans of genius to-day,
and is almost uniformly true of promi-
nent men in this city. Peter Cooper,
was hatter's apprentice; Charles
O'Conor was born in n shanty, of the
poorest of Irish parents; II. b. Claflin,
who now pays his confidential clerk
$25, 900 year, was Vermont school
teacher; Leonard Jerome was an
itinerant printer; Henry Willard was a
reporter; John CT. Moore ran away
from home to start himself in life
James Watson Webb was clerk in a
country store; ID. Appleton once kept
q grocery in Haverhill, Mass James X.
Keene came to this country from En-
gland with $40 in his pocket; Cyrus
Mccormick was miller's boy; Rufus
Hatch began by dealing in garden
sasa;" Jay Gould was a'Dwboy on O
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26
Large Figures.

During the last five years the
Australian and New Zealand colonies
have added to their debts total of
$50, 100000 New Zealand being the
worst offender of this sort, its debt
having risen in that time 500, 900, 900.
But if population We're considered, New
Zealand would be outdone 10y Queens
land and at least equaled 10y South
Australia. Queensland, with 227, 600
souls against the 10000 in New
Zealand, augmented her public obliga-
tons to the extent of $31, 4S5, 900, while
South Australia, with 293,000 souls,
augmented hers by $50, 800, 600.
Further points about these debts are
that the aggregate increase equals GO
per cent on the total for 1876, and
that at the end of last year the colonies
owed in all $3.50, 000,0 900, exclusive of
their local and private borrowings from
banks and land companies.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26
Take the Fetters from the Eagle.

The Americans have an old joke that,
under certain circumstances. they
would come over here and tow the Brit
ish Isles up. the Mississippi. To this
jocular bit Of brag we can oppose the
statement in sober earnest that England
could dispatch single one of her large
iron-clads across the Atlantic and die
tate any terms she pleased; and that
not only could great naval power like
England do this, but any little country
of the world that chose to fit out a man.
of-war of the modern type would have
the United States at its mercy. Paritur
pax bello, a doctrine with which we
Europeans are so familiar, is one which
either Americans have not yet under.
stood, or do not believe. = London
,SUcct1tOr.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26
By One Majority.

~ understand, Barlow, said friend,
chat you have become quite a poll
tician ?"
ooh, yes. i ran for Magistrate in
my township the other day, and, al
though / have not been living here
long, ] was only beaten by one ma
jority."
"That's doing first-rate. Only beat
en- by one majority. You'll be Sheriff
of the county after awhile. How many
votes are there in the township?
should think that comparative
stranger, who is only beaten by one
vote, can, with encouragement, aspire
to something great"
81 don't think So"
"Why?"
you see, was beaten by one ma.
jority."
"Yes."
well, there are only three votes in
the township. "-Arkdnsd1o Traveller,
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

rugged farm of Delaware county
Sidney Dillon was an errand boy on
the New York Central; William IL.
Vanderbilt at 30 was Commodore Van
derbilt's thriftless son, trying in vain to
get living on O Staten Island farm,
while his father freely alluded to him
in common conversation as fool. -
Nei1 York Letter.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

WINosA MINI, Nov. 60, 1879
had been suffering with severe cold for
several days; was so hoarse could not speak
above whisper. Nov. 10 met one Of Dr.
Warmers agents on my train: he handed me
q bottle of White Wine OF Tar Syrup; one
hour after taking the first dose my hoarse-
ness commenced TO leave me- In twenty
four hours my voice was quite clear and
natural, and the cold nearly cured II In the
best remedy ever saw.
Respectfully,
c. w WARREN, Conductor,
Chicago and Northwestern r. r
Sold by all druggists
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

THE voITAIc BELT Co. Marshall, Mich
will send DR.. Dyes Celebrated Electro
Voltaic Belts and Electric Appliances on trial
for thirty days TO men young or old who
are afflicted with nervous debility, lost vi
tality and kindred troubles, guaranteeing
speedy and complete restoration of health
and manly vigor. Address as above. ~ Il. =
No risk is incurred, us thirty days trial is al
lnAUad
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

jon went pretty heavily into the boil bust
ness, and the venture was complete sue
cess This reminds us that PUTEAM's PAIN
LESS CoRN'ExTRA CToR is another success and
that 1t gives more comfort to the world than
jobs boils did Remember the name, then,
for the little playful corn cometh, and the
remedy therefor will gladden. the heart.
Positively sold by all druggists Wholesale,
Lord, Stoutenburgh 4 Co., Chicago
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26
The Fellows Who Are in the WAY.

The greatest obstacle to the cultivation
of the mutual understanding and good
will that should prevail between Amer
leans and Englishmen is the critical
class in both countries, who are so well
described in that felicitous phrase in
THE Bachelor of. the Albany" as of
"vast aid varied transformation, of brill
liant incapacity and of great moral re-
quirements." -Nelc York Mail and
Express.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26
AN oID DRyGGISTS EXPERIENCE
CureHll8t Cold.

Do not suffer your lungs to become diseased by al
lowing cold 10 continue without effort 10 it.
Thousands have died premature deaths, the victims
of Consumption, by simply neglecting cold.
Dr. Vim. Halls Basam for the Lungs win cure Colds.
Coughs and Consumption surer and quicker than any
other remedy Though slow. is II persisted in
according To directions.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

Mr. F. L. CANEY of Madison, Ind writes:
81 was completely broken up with rheu-
matism and was also suffering from indi-
gestion and piles. NY aunt. Mrs. Whalen,
living in Louisville wrote, advising me 20
try DR. Guysott's Yellow Dock and Sarsapa-
riila / did SO. / also bathed my joints with
vinegar and salt. This treatment relieved
me of all suffering"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26
RUEyrMATISM CURED.

Our best physicians agree that outward applications
never cure rheumatism. The best oils and lniments
only alleviate the pains. rheumatism is a constitu-
tona affection originating in impure and disordered
blood Hoods Sarsaparla is the proper remedy. be-
in purifying the blood II corrects tho acdity in
which rheumatism begins TO act.
RENIAItKA CASE OF a SEA CAPTAIN.
Capt Mitchell. OF the barque ntoi',e Sald New York
and Havana trade came home in May, 1892, entirely
helpless with rheumatism. He went TO the mountains
with his wife at whose request Capt Mitchell made use
of Hoods Sarsaparilla. He commenced to improve
right away under the influence of Hoods Sarsapa1lla
and able To- return 20 BROOKLYN In two months
from his trying Hoods Sasaparlla his rheumatism
gone and lac sailed in command of his vessel well
His wife writes: MY husband il IS years of age
and is health j. better than 10 has been tor some
time nc has gained several pounds in weight. IL any
wish u inquire particularly they address Mrs
NJ. l.. Mitchell, iJl Monroe street brooklyn, n.
AN OLD DRUGGIST EXPERIENCE.
am employed in the Chicago y. ID. Postofficc as a
carrier. During late wet spell nave suffered from
muscular rheumatism. | was advised TO try Hood
Sarsaparilla 1 did So and now j am entirely cured
/ am old druggist myself having had nearly twenty
years experience. JAMES v A. PRoUDFoor.
HOODS SARSAPARILLA.
Sold by Druggists 81 six for So Made only by c. l.
HOOD Co, Apothecalies, Lowell. Mass.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

IMAGINE for moment the thousands upon
thousands of bottles of Carboline, the deo-
dorized petroleum hair remover, annually
sold, and the fact that not a single complaint
has been received from all these thousands,
and you may have some idea OF its good
qualities
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26
That Husband of Mine

Is three times the man he was before he be-
gan using Wells Health Remover. 81.
DON'T DIE IN THE HOUSE. Rough on Rats.
Clears out rats. mice, reaches, bugs, 15c.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

LADIES or gents out of work furnished with
steady, lucrative employment at home Send
scent stamp, for particulars, to Agents Fur
nishing Co., p o. Box No 1866, Topeka, Kan.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

MAY the good work begun by st. Jacobs
Oil continue until rheumatism and neural
gia have been banished from the earth
Albany, ~. y, Press and Knickerb booker.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

ToaJ'ow yiriI Pove- b. ebb slowly impercept
by away is madness; cheCk IL with that failing
remedy. Aliens Brain Food. 81 for Sat drug
gists and AT Aliens Pharmacy. SIS First ave, n. y.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

RHEUMATISM QUICKLY CURED!-Send stamp
for free prescription. H. X. Heipnenstine, WASH
ington, u. {.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

Gdtydnized Scales for Creameries, Diaries,
Butter Dealers and Grocers. Send for circu-
ar Howe Scale Co., Chicago.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26
Try the new brand, Spring Tobacco

LADIES 4 children's boots 4 shoes can't run
over if Lyons Patent Heel Stiffeners are used.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

A CORTLAND man who read at the end of
friends marriage notice mo cards. sent him
q eucher deck by the first mail
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

THE shark is worshiped by some of the
jewellers along the African coast Members
of the bar should make "A note of this.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

son, Lord" prayed an Ohio minister,
@Thou hast seen by the morning papers how
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26
Pcrsonal!-To Men Only (!

UNLIKE her cheek, the path Of the pro-
essional beauty is not rosy one.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

DID you read how Josiah Pitkin, of Chel-
sea, vt, was cured Of terrible sore leg by
Hoods Sarsaparilla, the blood purifier?
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26
Hcnry's Carbolic Salve

L. the best Save for Cuts Bruises Sores Ulcers Salt
Rheum, letter, Chappcd Hands, CDiblains. Corns and
all kinds of skin Eruptons, Freckles and Pimples
Get Henrys Carbolc Salye, all others counter
feits Price % cents
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

TwENTY-sEvEN women working in a
chain-gang were sad sight ut Atlanta.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26
~ FL @
Pacific Northwest!
Oregon, washington & idaho.

Offers the best field for Emiarnnts-viz.; n
mild, equnble and healthy climate; cheap
lands OF great fertility. producing all varie-
ties OF Grain, Fruit and Grasses In wonder
fuI abundance; an inexhaustibie supply of
Timber; vast Coal Fields and other mineral
deposits; cheap and quick transportation by
railroads and river nav igatiOn; direct COM
merce with all paris Of the world, owing TO
it's pro ximity 10 the Pacific Ocean.
No DROUGIFTS, No INSECT PESTS,
NO HURRICANES, WIIIRLWIND~, Or
OTHER DESTRUCTIVE PHENOMENA.
The Lands of the Pacific Northwest show
mn average yield Of wheat per acre largely
in excess Of that Of any other section of the
United states.
No failure of crops has ever occurred.
Oregon Wheat commands a higher price
than that of any other country in the Liver
pool market.
and Government Lands, tcit. ia easy reach Of
the tru,ik lines ftte Northern Pacific IL. r.,
the CrcgDn Edii,c1U a. Navigation, and tho
Oregon a. CALIFORNIA n. IL. Co.'s and their
numerous branches ia he great PdUeDs Of the
Co ttIIsbi1 and it, tributaries, ARE notc OLterfd
tor sale at Lone Prices aud On Easy terms, or
open to pre-cntJ,tjoH usid Homestead Entry.
The greds increment If population 4, the
Columbia region gtrtc INA progress WIU De
enormously incredSed by the completion o.
fIe orfhpJ7t Pacific X. X. and the oregon
RaiI,cdy a. NdciJdtioa Co.'s systems. 4 his
rcH,iers certain a rapid Increase Ia the rai"e
Of lands Ho,c open 10 purchase o. to entry
uHder the United Stntes Lana Lo,cs.
For Pamphlets and Maps descriptive of the
country, its resources, climate, routes of
travel, rates and full Information, address
A. L. STOKES,
General Eastern Agent,
sc Clark street, Chicago, Ill.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

ccc week in your own town. Terms and IS OUTFIT
vUu free. Address IL. II 4LLErr Co., Portland. Me.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

NINETY-FoUR Indian children attend
a Catholic school near Fort Totten.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-01-26

A GENTS WANTED tor the Best and Fastest-Sell.
"A ing Pictorial Books and Bibles Prices reduced IS
per cant. NATIONAL PUBLISHING Co.. Chicago Ill
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-07-25

TOO FUNNY BOY.

Benny Brewster, the son of the Attorney
General, is very lively boy according to all
reports The other day he Infatuated all of
the staff of the Attorney General to a pitch
of madness.
On his fathers desk there is lot of but
tons, connecting with electrical calls in all
subordinate offices of the department, from
the Solcitor-General down. One day not
long ago, Benny was in with his father
Suddenly, before the latter could stop him,
Benny began to play upon all of the electric
buttons at once, as if upon the keys of a
piano. These sudden and repeated calls
created panic in the department The
solictor-General, grave, digniied gentle.
man, the Assistant Attorney General the
Chief Clerk, and in all about twenty chiefs,
came in one after another in mad haste, only
to be met by an apology from the Attorney
General, while Benny howled with laughter
upon the carpet where he lay rolling as the
slaves of the buttons appeared and disap-
peared, black with wrath notwithstanding
Brewster's amiable begging for forgiveness
of the mad freak of his dear, merry son.
Washington Cor. sspoadence
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-07-25
Wednesday, July 25, 1888.
THE NEST OF THE ToWHEE.

One bright, lovely morning in May time.
AS over the hill-tops strolpd,
In quest OF the daisy snow-petaled,
And hngcups all dusty with gold,
! CHANGED TO disturb in their vigils,
Two creatures OF sober demean:
Kind were they, good-natured and gentle.
= Quick-witted, sagacious, ween.
A garb OF wood-brown and OF russell
Very sweetly invested the dame.
Less snowy than that which enveloped
The masters more elegant frame;
Yet neither In habit seemed tawdry,
But modest, and simple, and plain;
just ut for a life in the country,
A prey to the wind and the rain.
Their home was neat-fashioned cottage,
Hid snugly away in the dark;
Loose-woven OF beech leaves and grasses,
And delicate ribbons OF bark;
While over, above and around It,
In richest luxuriance grew,
Green feathers OF pteris and bracken
so And sedges bespangled with dew
ventured to peer through the doorway,
ITS owners had vanished and fed;
But clad in the scantiest OF raiments,
{ And costly nestled in bed,
Four wee happy birdlings were sleeping,
Unconscious OF danger without
The tread of the stealthy marauder,
Or CHATTER of winds in bout.
Impressed with the vision before me,
The parents sad, sorrowful wall,
] had not the courage to ravage
That home OF its treasures so frail;
But leftit as first had found It,
Secure in its shady retreat
And HE'D me away 10 the woodland,
New pleasures and prospects to greet.
Thomas G. Gentry
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-07-25
ALoApEp oLorHEs-,1nR.

Lately, somebody has been burgling our
shicken-coop, and pa loaded an old musket
with rock salt and said he would fill the fell
low full Of salt il he caught him, and while
they were talking up stairs ma heard roos.
ter squawk, and she went to the stairway
and told "a there was somebody in the hen
house. Pa jumped up and told some yisi-
tors to follow him, and they would see
man running down the alley, full Of salt,
and he rushed out with the gun, and the
crowd followed him. Pa is shorter than the
rest, and he passed under the first wire
clothes-line in the yard all right, and was
going for the hen-house on jump. when
his neck caught on the second wire clothes.
line Just as the visitors caught their necks
under the other wire. You know how
wire, hitting man on the throat, will set
him back head over appetite. Well sir, /
was looking out the back window and
wouldn't be positive, but think they allturn-
ed double somersaults and struck on their
ears Anyway, pa did, and the gun must
have been cooked or it struck the hammer
on a stone for it went off, and it was point
ed towards the house and three of the visi-
tors got sailed. I suppose when yon shoot
q man with salt, it smarts, like when you
get cerned beef brine on your chapped
hands, They all yelled and pa seemed to
have been Knocked silly, some way, for he
pranced around and seemed to think he had
killed them. He swore at the wire clothes
line, and then missed pa and heard a
splash like when you throw q cat in the
river, and then I thought of the cistern,
and went down and we took pa by the
collar and pulled him out. o, he was aw-
ial damp. No sir. it was no duel at all,
but naxidsnt. and didn't have anything
10 do with it.--Pechss Bad Raa
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-07-25
Valuable Hotel PROPERTY.

Valuable Hotel Property.
That long established and well
known hotel property, situated on
corner Of Bridge and Union streets,
near the Depot, in Lambcrtville, N.
j., and known as The Lambertville
House" The house contains about
forty rooms and is in every way
most eligibly situated for business ];
can be bought right, and to an en-
terprising purchaser, would prove a
capital Investment.
A Good Brick Dwelling House on
the south side of York street, east of
Main, and contains 6 rooms and at-
tic, all in good repair. Well of good
water and cistern at the door.
No. !. Is a nice three story brick
dwelling house, on Union
ST., between York and Dele
van, containing 8 rooms.
No. A. A large brick dwelling house
with stable, on Bridge ST.,
near the depot. A good
business location, and in
position to grow in value
No. 5. A brick house with vacant
lot, with barn, situated on
Washington and Coryell
SITS, very cheap.
No. 6. A large lot on the Delaware
and Raritan Canal, North
of Moore's Spoke Factory.
Lot is 81 #. on the canal,
and has three tenement
houses renting for a good
income, and the property
is also approaching in
value.
No. Z. lisa frame dwelling and store
room with a bakery at
tached, situated on Della
ware avenue, one of the
best streets in the city. A
good location for the bak-
ing business, and can be
bought cheap.
Several other desirable properties
now in hand and for sale not includ-
ed in the above list.
Sept. ~, 1882.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-07-25

Why SHE DIDN'r LIKE HIM L." Don't
like your neighbour Why, thought he
was very kind and pleasant man." $50
he is" "Does he ever interfere in your
affairs ?" "No." "Do his children steal
your fruit ?" "No; he hasn't any chill
dren." "For mercys sake, then. what is
the matter with him ?" "He keeps hens. "
"Oh."-Bostoa Transcript.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-07-25

AN INVOLVEMENT ON THE AMERICAN PLAN
by the laws of Denmark drunken per-
son unable to walk is taken to the station or
10 bic home in a close carriage, at the ex-
pense of the house that sold him his liquor
This is an improvement on the American
plan of clubbing the man on the feet until
he gets up, and then pounding him on the
head all the way to the station house, and
making him pay for the club, it it breaks =
Burlington Hasokeys.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-07-25

Ho for the Far West.
For Western tickets, first class, second
and emigrant rates, apply to S. INNS,
Western Ticket Agent, at the old reliable
Western Ticket Office, Lehigh Valley
Depot, Easton, Pa. Maps free. Bag
gage checked to destination.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-07-25

BETTER THAN NOTHING. Charles A. Lama
says competent editorial writers on New York
papers receive from $3.50 to $500 per week
They have to pay man pretty heavy to in
duce him to remain in that City. Even ed.
itorial writer's have some self.respect. Loo
Ell Citizen.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-07-25

--Gold--Gold--a Perrine's Cigar Store,
Church st. The Gold Cigar good as
"gold"-for 8 cents EACH
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-07-25

Great reduction in price of Parlor
Stoves and Heaters, at J. J. LARS, AZ
Bridge st. Now is the time to buy.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-07-25

Cutlery in endless variety at Gandey's
store, 81 Bridge st. ct.