The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-02-03
How He Got His Change.

A lady, small boy and a reporter were
riding uptown in a Broadway omnibus
about midday recently. The lady and
the small boy had evidently paid their
fares when the repol ter got in. The re-
porter deposited his five-cent nickel in
the glass-front apartment hoase, and
looked round for something to think
about. Presently the driver was stopped
by the uplifted and menaeng forelinger
of an eminently respectable looking gen
tleman, verging on elderly of porlly
presence and unyielding dignity of coun-
tenance who stepped into the bus with
the precision of tying a cravat, and in a
moment. finding he had no small change,
handed the driver two-dollar bill. Re-
ceiving his little envelope of silver, he
found it to contain three tifties and some
tens AMI iives. He quietly, and with
habitual dignity, dropped fifty-cent
piece in the two story basement and attic
cash box, slipped the rest of the money
in his pocket, and slowly and calmly
settled back, folding his gloved hands
on the heavy handle of his umbrella, and
gazing with mild sternness at nothing in
particular. He was the picture of self
satisfaction and solid. respectable com
posture. 1t was the calm before the
storm. The lady looked amused, the
reporter waited in hope that the light
ming would strike somehow, and the
small boy stared in amazement.
Soon the small boy broke loose and
exclaimed:
- Say. mister, You put fifty in the
box. You can getro change that way"
III /, L., 81
man dignity was gone. lie sprang ut
the little bell strap and ierked it like a
telegraph sounder, until the driver won
dered what lunatic had got into his bus.
"Driverr' shouted the flushed and
angry respectable gentleman; "Driver,
| want my change put fifty-eent
piece in Tat box by mistake and want
my change"
well" remarked the driver, Il guess
You'll get it
"Do you hear? Give me my change
instantly, or L Il report you to the com
pany."
"All right" remarked the driver.
You'd better ride rightup to the stable
with me-
The respectable gentleman resumed
his seat, the image Of impotent rage and
tried to be again respectable and digni-
fed, but he made the lady, the reporter
and the small boy conhdents of his per-
sonal opinion concerning the imperti-
nent driver the company, the two pas
senger-coaches-a and a-freight-car cash
box and the earth in general.
The respectable gentleman had scarce
l. settled back again, with his gloved
hands folded ON his umbrella, and gaz-
ing at nothing in particular, but with
a sternness that was no longer mild,
when lady hailed the bus and got in.
A happy thought occurred to the respect
able tifty-cent passenger. He smiled
benignly and with Permit me,
madam" took the lady's ve-cent piece
and-put it in his pocket. His lips came
well together and his whole face assumed
an air OF determination. As the driver
looked down through his little box Office
window aperture the respectable gentle
man exclaimed:
Driver, | am going to take fares I'M
til get my change"
"Well, but"
mo butts; attend to your horses. This
company owes me foay-five cents, and
I'm going to have it before | leave the
stage"
How long it took the driver to appre-.
ciate the situation the reporter did not
inquire, but lie said no more. Soon
gentleman got in, and the company's
creditor moved toward the front of the
stage and took his fare, explaining the
case. All the passengers smiled. Pres
emily two ladies entered. Everybody
looked at the respectable gentleman and
smiled again, the small boy clapped his
hands, the creditor looked determined
frowned slightly, took the ladies ten
cents and pnt it in his pocket. The
driver merely looked down to see how
many flares" got in. When a young
man got in, the Smile became broader
than ever. He sat opposite the forty
five cent creditor. The latter leaned
forward, touched the young man on the
knee. and said:
Il will take your fare, sir"
The tone was so commanding that the
newcomer handed over his coin
aDazedly, and the receiver slipped it in
his pocket The young man, after con-
tinling TO stare at the self-appointed
conductor awhile. exclaimed.
where's my five cents?"
In my pocket, sir.
"iive me my five cents change; Igaye
you ten cents"
'.Sir, it is all right. lam taking fares
for the present accidentally" etc.
"Well, that's all right. But / want
my five cents change"
Il beg yoiw pardon said the respect
able gentleman, ignoring the yonng
man request, a I'd evidently too much
occupied with his mental arithmetic to
catch the idea. The other passengers
were by this time roaring with laughter.
and the young man became angry and
vori7erous and threatened to call an off
Ger, and finally the citizens movement;
creditor suddenly caught tic meaning
of The Young mans remonstrance. and
with frotuse, but dign;sied apologies,
haned him five cents.
When the reporter leitthe scene of this
farcica) comedy. the respectable gentle
man had got up TO forty cents and had
begun to look mild once more n. +.
AfaI atd Express.
Midtlleburg, Pa, has the champion
absent-minled man. After milking his
Io