New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-01-03
Witty Olerpynen.

In the early part of the present cen.
fury DR.. Asa Burton, pastor of the Con-
gregational Church in Thetford, YER
mont, was one day officiating as Mod
orator Of the Orange Association Of
Ministers, of which he was member,
and, toward evening, while the brethren
were engaged in criticising an essay
which had Just been read by one of their
number, tea was brought in and passed
around. One Of the juniors at once
rose and said, ''Mr. Moderator, shall we
continue our criticisms while we are
eating?' The old doctor pithily replied,
Young men. let your victuals stop
your mouth"
A young minister once preached for
the celebrated DR.. Emmons, of Frank.
lin, Mass, and, as he was about COM
mencing the service, he said to the doc
tor, Il will be glad if you will offer the
long prayer before the sermon" The
doctor testify calculated. ''Whet your
own scythe."
DR.. David Parsons. the old-time pas
tor of the church in Amherst, was noted
for his eccentricties, and, among other
vagaries, used to have plate set at his
table for favorite cat. One day, while
asking blessing at the morning meal,
he was taken with q fit of coughing,
and before the paroxysm was over the
cat mewed. As soon as the parson could
speak, he turned to the cat and exclaim-
ed. ''Shut up! l can get along without
your helpr' and then struck in where
he had left off and finished the blessing.
Some forty or fifty years ago, when
Mr.. Burchard was itinerating 40 On
evangelist In Vermont, he had four.
days meeting in Burlington, and on
one occasion, Immediately after the ser
mon, he left the pulpit, IS was wont.
and went up and down the church
aisles, catechizing the congregation.
Stepping up to Prot. Farren Benedict.
he said, "Are you professor, STRIP
Eyes, sir. l am professor of mathe.
matics and civil engineering" was the
cool reply.
youth go to hell. SIR"
Demonstrate that, if you please. sir. -
Mr.. Burchard apparently concluded
the enemy carried too many guns fol
him. and passed on.
DR.. Archibald Alexander, of Princeton
had a keen wit. as his pupils had
abundant occasion to know. It is sale
that q young theologue once called q
the Doctors study to receive his critic
isms on an exercise which had beer
handed in some days previous. Tn,
doctor took up the paper and remarked
II Sc that you have incorrectly writ
! ten the first letter in q good many word
in capitals. Don't you know that .
word should never begin with capita
letter unless it is proper name or th'
beginning of sentencep"
"Why, doctor, this is poetry?'
lis it, indeedp I beg your pardon
81. .E.,s ! b Ss E. yoor pardon sir ! WASH
When Professor Park, of Andover
was younger man than he is now, b
visited the Walhalla, at Nuremberg. Al
he was standing near the magnifcen
temple, lost in admiration, q German
professor approached and, after passin,
the compliments Of the day, remarked
II perceive, sir. that you are an Eng
/ lishman." Professor Park smiled an
made no reply. A moment later he ia
/ quired, do you know the cost Of thi
buildingp'' The German at once OK
claimed, II perceive, sir, that you ar
an American. l do verify believe tina
when an American comes to stand be
fore the great white throne his frs
words will be, How much did
costp'" Req. a. Dean, IN the Iadepen
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