The Portland daily press., 1883-04-02
Wit ana Wisdom.

bon-mot or the pope; Leo Kill, Who
speaks French correctly, was talking with a
Partisan lady the other day, when all at once
some stubborn expression stopped him; he
tried in vain to think of the word he wanted
but be was unable TO find it. "Do you speak
italian, madam he asked his visitor
Fairly well, holy father "Then let us con-
tinue the conversation in my native tongue,
for if We continue in yours he said smilingly
fear l shall compromise my infallibility."-
Paris paper.
1t must have been terrible state Of affairs,
that caused the Psalmist to ask: who can
stand before his eoId?n In his day the rene
dies were few and doubtful: how much hap
pier should this generation be, that has a
household remedy DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup;
so wonderful has been its cures that millions
rise up SIND r1ii- ~ blessed
Board wantedS-as the young lady said
when she came to mud puddle in the side
walk.-Burlington Free Press.
The Horsford Almanac and Cook Book
mailed free on application TO the Rumford
Chemical Works, Providence, R. l.
The good dye young when their new NOUS
taches come out red.-New Orleans Picayuue.
The great sale OF Swedish Remedies is aston
ishiDg, and for enriching the blood, creating
an appetite, or Strengthening the whole system
nothing can surpass these remedies.
Scene, village school. Lady visitor Ito
very dirty child)-"Jane, why don't you come
with clean face to school?'' Jane latter
some Please, ma'am, mither can
ma spare me ony saft water, and she wunna
hae me use hard, for il cracks ma skin. The
Bailie.
true assistant to nature in restoring the
system to perfect health, thus enabling it to re-
sist disease, is Browns Iron Bitters.
Clergyman was induced TO visit a theatre
one night by the report that revival was &C.
ing there, but was disguised TO find that
i was only revival of the "Black Crook p
Cincinnati Saturday Night.
"Hd@ are we ever going to get through our
spring and summers work? We are all run
down, tired out before it begins" So say
many farmers family. We answer, go to
your druggist and pay five dollars for six bot
ties of Ayers Saraaparilla. This is just the
medicine you need, and will pay compound
interest on the investment
The losses by fire in the United States during
the past two months reached SIT 600 900. Ana
yet the Misunderstanding barn of the neighbor
across the way which faces our sitting.room
window, still stands up in all its dismal ugIi-
ness, uprightly, implanted, uninsured and un-
burned. Maybe its uniusuredness Is what
saves it, Burlington Hawkeye
In the Hop Plaster are united the virtues OF
Fresh Hops and the strengthening and stimu.
latiDg balsams, and its cures Of Weak Back
Pain In the Side, Rheumatism and Neuralgia
or Pain in the Chest are simply marvellous, IL
being more efficacious and thorough than any
IMMINENT or liquid remedies. You'll. say so
after using.
A Definition: Scene, Highland Police OF
fce.) Superintendent TO poiceman)-"Wha
mean you, Tonal,' by entering John McLuish
tramp in the books Of ia offs? What ISIS a
tramp" Policeman-"a tramp, yer honor,
iss man VIVA travels aboot an seeks for work
and disna want it," superintendent is salts
fed )-Bailie.
sILEEcED QUIcKLY.-A distressing Cough,
by Hale's Honey of HorehouDd and Tar
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in one minute.
An open Burlington Free Press.
A Green Bay horse is no uncommon thing il
Wisconsin. Lowell Courier.