Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-08-25


Edith: Arst-class summer resort 10 one at
which the cottagers viii not speak to the hotel
guests A second-case resort Is one at which
the hotel guests will not speak to the cottagers.
third-ciass resort Ia one at which everybody
tries to have good time.-Phildde,phia Ne,cs
young and illiterate doctor. on being told
that certain patient was convalescent said:
"Why. that 10 nothing. I can cure GONZALES
cence In three hours"
"The work that am compelled to perform. /"
said dissatisfied minister during his sermon,
would kill a mule, and don't believe that I
can stand it."
The Congregationatisf talks Of ''the decline of
honor in our army and navy. And yet the
number Of debts of honor that have been paid
by officers must be quite large-if we may judge
bv some Of the court-nartfals and the referen-
ences to poker playing.-Puck.
Montana belle, says the Bismarck Tribune
being asked by Bismarck man IL they pos
sessed any culture out her way. replied: "Cul-
ture? You bet your variegated socks we do !
We kin sling more culture to the square foot In
Helena than they kin in any camp In America.
Culture? Oh. loosen my corsets till smie!"
True liberality: The old man Jones was rub
Ding his hands and smiling all over as he met
Brown the other day. and the latter felt COM
PEELED to inquire: 50 Has your silver mine turned
out bonanza?" Haven't heard from it in
four weeks" You look as pleased as II you
had a thousand tons of ore in sight" "Oh, no ;
1 have just been giving away S5O, 600 worth OF
stock" Not giving 1t away" "Yes. sir /;
didn't cost the recipients Q penny" 'well.
what kind Of way Is that to run silver mine ?"
oh. don't you worry. Brown-not bit.
We've got to have some shares out in order to
make an assessment, and next week We shall
call for seventy cents on the dollar In order to
meet the expenses Of survey and machinery.
Don't you worry about me. Mr.. Brown.-W
Street Ne,cs.
Nice and slow: "walk slower, papa" cried
ff,o1 Ia a -
for the strides of her masculine progenitor; cant
Citizen.
Two conundrums: CAV, can you tell me. Miss
Fair" queried George Washington LaDude,
after brief period of intense study. 'why the
event?" mo. Mr.. LaDude" "wcll. aw, 1t is
something to cur, don't you know-ha! hal"
VERY good, Mr.. LaDude, very good But can
you tell me why your hat is like bad habitp"
why err. aw; well. no-why is it7" Because
It is something to void. ''oh! WEAKLY. now,
don't you know7"-The Judge
Why he was fined: "Why did you strike this
mann" asked justice of the peace Of Q prisoner.
II had sufncient cause your honor. He came to
my house the other day on q visit He criticised
my children, and laughed atmy daughters sing
put m. rs s.t q seqo.
excuse to strike him with stick of stovewood 81
II know, but let me get through. After dinner
he began to talk on the tariff question. Then I
hit him" Tariff, shi l hns you 90 for not
shooting him."-Arkansaso Traveller.
circus lemonade man happening 70 be in
| q market the other day, and seeing some Of the
yellow fruit, pointed to 1t and said, "What'a
them things i"-Boston Post.
Stress of weather: g Dear lady, please help an
| unfortunate man. amt had no work ct my
| trade since last winter" "Poor man! What ID
your trader" "Shoveln' snow, num-"