The Northern Pacific farmer., 1883-09-27
HUNTING THE SOAP.
A Tale OF the Morning.

A Tale OF the Morning. -:
The other morning, while Mr.. Brown
was washing his hands, the cake of soap
slipped out Of his fingers, and. striking
the wall, few down behind the twash.
stand. " e s5 = ~
Mr.. Brown Immediately got on all
fours, and laid his head on the floor to
see where the soap was. Itwas right
against the wall, and about as far from
one side of the washstand as the other.
When Mr.. Brown began to reach un-
der with his arm, he found he could not
get half way to the soap, because he was
on his knees. and his back was almost
broken, and sharp pain ran up his
neck, and he felt as if he had been
dropping potatoes all day
And then he lay on his chest as though
swimming, and thrust his arm fiercely
under, and took off about half a yard of
skin. This caused Mr.. Brown to foam
at the mouth, and say to himself:
"By gracious! this is test case, and l
am going to see if a cake of soap is going
to beat me, if I have to say home from
business all day, and break the wash
stand up in the bargain.
So Mr.. Brown rolled over on his back,
and thrust his arm under as cautiously
as though there was a hornets nest un-
der the washstand. On, on he went,
and Mr.. Brown smiled a smile that had
every possible symptom, of victory IN it:
By this time his throat was full of dust
off the carpet, and frequently he
couehed. But now his fnger-the very
end of his finger-touched the soap, and
that momentary touch vibrated through
his soul like gentle benedlction, and
caused fresh crop of smiles to float as
softly over his features as does the
gentle summer zephyr across a field of
bearded wheat.
That touch had magic about it that
thrilled Mr.. Brown with divinest melo-
DIV. 1t was to him, in short, what
fpring chicken is to the negro, and
found as lovely place in his dreams as
does the razor in the negro's boot.
Then Mr.. Brown turned on his side
to see the soap that he might grab it,;
but when he got on his side, his reach
was shortened, and he couldn't touch
the soap. Then he turned over on his
back, and felt the soap again, and at
tempted to grab it. In doing this he
only sent the soap flying farther back,
and out of reach. 49,.
In an ecstasy of rage, he thought he
might get the soap by making desper'
ate crack at it with his hand, and strik-
ing it out on the floor. So he hauled off
and let fly as hard as he could, and his
hand missed the soap, and flew around
like compass, and struck the stone
paper-weight that was acting in the
place of the leg that was gone.
Before he could discover how many
fingers had been Knocked out Of joint,
he discovered that the paper.weight had
been driven against the wallby the force
of the blow.
Ere he could utter the words that
were on the end of his tongue, the wash
stand tilted and upset the basin of water
on him: and while the water WIS in his
ewes and ears, the basin followed, and
Law on his stomach like tombstone, and
pretty near knocked the breath out OF
him. -
though there we're about four thousand
words inside of him struggling to get out,
the drawers flew out, and emptied lot
of tooth-powder, and razors, and lather.
| ing-brushes on him. Then the doors Of
| the WaSlSCanu lloW 6W11tly Opcu, duu
raised couple of Jumps on him that he
| will carry about for several weeks to
come.
After this Mr.. Brown turned over on
his chest. and almost inhaled aather-
ing brush, he was breathing so hand
He saw the soap distinctly. The SOAP
saw him, too. He looked upon it as the
cat looks upon the mouse that is out o1
her reach.
And Mr.. Brown grinned fendishly at
! the soap and said:
'tJust come out two inches from the
wall, and give me chance to grab you
dare you to come out an even inch,
you mean, miserable, fve-cent cake of
soap. So you'll take dare, will youl
If were only half your size wouldn't
take a dare; would face the music:
You are a spiritess, plebeian cake Of
soap-you are only fit to wash dog
with. I believe you are only an lmita.
ton of what you claim to be, you
Here Mrs. Brown suddenly opened
the door against Mr.. Browns head, and
| said.
"Why in the world don't you come
| down? The breakfast is getting cold"
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