The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-03-08
RTTH AHp PoINT.

One lawyer In Des Moines, iowa,
has put through 1S9 divorce cases within
a year. The fare to Des Moines Is
about seven dollars Chicago ITt6rt'ae.
The New York Commercial AIUer-
ttser suddenly remarks that: "The man
who bangs bis hair hasn't enough sense
to blow out his brains, even If he pos
sessed any,"
Highly sugar coated: A New York
divorce lawyers advertisement reads:
'Hymeneal incompatibilities as q spe-
cialty, carefully adjusted. 'Tis slavery
to detain the hand after the heart hath
fed"
"A Pennsylvania paper tells OF
family which has been poisoned by eat
ing pie containing arsenic. 1t seems
like O work of supererogation to put ar
senic into pie. A pie that can not kill O
family without the help of arsenic is a
very weak pie ndeed.--Bartt'agfoH
RaWheYe.
An African traveller gives thrilling
account of o s'vegetable vampire"--a
tree which envelops q person with its
branches and strangles him to death.
The nearest approach we have in this
country to vegetable vampire Is the
"dead beat" who also ives upon 9TH
ers.--MorTtstot0n Herald. =
tiny mothers awful fickle,r Eaid
little Edith to Mrs. Smith, who was
making a call. "When she saw you
coming up the street, she said: There's
that horrid Mis- Smith; hope she isn't
coming here's and a minute after she told
you she was real glad to see you. Mother
says I'm tickle, but guess don't
change my mind as quick as that."-
N. Y. Graphic.
1t took me four years to save my
first thousand dollars. It was saved
from soldiers pay in the army, and
the boys often said: ''Charlies you
might as well spend your money, for
you may never get home to use it," 1t
required courage to resist the influence
to spend all, but the schooling of those
four years was worth more than the
thousand dollars, for 1 learned TO save
money.-CharleS ". Black.
An old man would not believe he
could hear his wife talk distance OF
| five miles by telephone. His better half
| was in q country store several miles
away, where there was a telephone, and
the skeptic was also in place where
there was similar instrument, and, on
being told how to operate it, he walked
boldly up and shouted, "Hello, janet"
AJ IndI luSIbuG llSlbnluR SIEuCh lho
telephone-wire and knocked the man
down, and as he scrambled to his feet he
excitedly cried, "That's Jano Gerry
time. ."-Aodern Argo.
FLAMES, dear, Reginald desires
new sled. l think you had better get
him one" "What's sled good for to
himP You've brought him up to stay
In the house and look pretty. He
wouldn't know what TO do with one."
"Oh, / don't mean one of those great
big outdoor sleds. | mean little
house sled that he can play with in the
front hall, dear. just to get him accus-
toned to the idea, you know" Lots Of
little Reginalds are being cultivated in
doors, and they will either go to early
graves or grow up to be fiats.-Boston
Globe.
If we must talk about the weather,
why not vary the formula, "It is O
pleasant day" Every one is tired of
admitting that it is. Why not be scien-
tifically accurate when one meets O
friendp The following is submitted as a
specimen dialogue: Jones-"Ah, MIR.
Smith, see we have cloudy weather
with light rains" Smith with cheer
full smile)-"Yes, and variable winds
shifting to colder northeasterly, station
ary or higher pressure" Jones'
"Quite so; but it is gratifying to know
that the rivers will remain nearly sta
tionary and that the temperature has
fallen thirty degrees in the Rio Grande
Valley. Good-morning, sir. ."-BoSton
| dUIerkfSer