davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01
.1'O9'gCE.

SPECIAL GEXERAL NETTING or THESr h
HoLDgEs ~ rHE SHExASDOAH VALLEY
RAILROAD CoMPANY.
Notice IS hereby given that, at the reqne';:
of the holders OF majority Of the Capital
Stock Of the Shenandoah Valley Railroad
Company a general meeting Of the STOCK
holder. q the said Company viii BE- held %
the LUIAY ISS, in Luray, Page County
Virginia, on
1loSday, Fc5rvary l2ib, 1893,
ut y O'Clock, noon, for the consideration ri
a contract between the Shenandoah VALLEY
Railroad Company and the Norfolk ana
Western Railroad Company, and for sucn
action thereon a. the said meeting may deem
best. and for the transaction of other IN
pOrtant business.
G. r. W. ARME=,
January Is, 1882. Secretary.
focoo Envelopes all sizes, and eolors. ju'i re-
Il cciyed.
AIsQUITH&co-
100 Boxes Of Very Superior Piper api Engsi-
ol'es, only 10 ca Box, Jn't ~ lssi.
Al>QuIrH & co
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

prohibition measure passed by a vote of ~
90 L. M,s-rs. FoUke and Rider in the ne
sauvc. 1t is now Tor the S,nate to say
whether or not the amendment shall go to
.he people Tor Their verdict.
r.. coming holidays viii be more ccner-
aily observed .l.u amy Tor many years, and
~. would req ind our readers thata bottle
-. 3uii's cough syrup viii prove most
.c.e,l.b.c holiday present.
Bishop KaysuaugA, Of the " Z. Church,
-oa.h, i, reported as having been rrostfa-
.,a while attending the Florida Conference
AMI will winter there. Another report that
,he venerable pre|ate is resting" among
tacouurc groves by preaching every day
and hy breaches wi:h power, TOO. He is
beyond his tour score years He viii be Il
aye sheat for ;he harvest.
John W. Taylor, a Rappahannock mil
oaucr is lai,ed with son Tor completely in
tie murder, iu a la,. alteration, OF Pau.
Brown, a ue5l,v % Rev Paul Yates Bap-
til, The real murderer, another son of
T.! lor's escaped
Among the victim, Of the Cimbria wreck
Was Mrs Agnes Bobscin, a sister Of Mrs.
Il, nry Wi.d,, of Alexandria, and her two
children.
Rev. Dr. ". o. tombstone Of the phila-
Ir ,hia Presbyterian pulpit Is dead. In
bi, three years pastori,e he received 1900
IN the church and baptized 1890
Polk, the deiaultiug state treasurer, is fail
ia. health-like every other incarcerated
ro..e of high dcgr e-and will probably
a, ont on haoea. corpus.
S'tany Men.
wells Health K.ucTar" restorers
h,a.,I ana yisor, cures Dyspepsia, Impo-
t..-,, Sexual D>Olu,y. Il.
G. %. Odu q. Clay, OF Lynchburg, aged
s., and Jourdau W. Naury, OF Washington,
ag,d %, are dead.
4 Lawrence, Massachusetts,. sleigh mis-
hap killed the Slo0oJ stallion lomoerton.
lie had 2-l9 record.
Father Volzog Charles county, Maryland,
+ is sent 10 ~. Mary',, uag,rs,owa, vice Fa-
thcr Frederick ordered 10 Hartford county
The Senate and House OF Representatives
paid tribute las, week to The memory Of the
a.e S,ll,or Ill. OF Georgia.
The Y y Herald recognizes q sure peri
odicai phase in the occurrence OF accidents
and Instances the current months horrors
as proof thereof
Capt Mckenzie. the newly arrived Lon
d1n champion, van u-hed 10 OF the best
Manhattan Club chess players in New
Iog. last week IN ! hours
Rev Thomas Mccormick, Of Baltimore,
me of ,he founder, of the Methodist Pro-
e,,ant Church, has recently entered on his
9Si ye-r
Annie Bennett asel 10, of FREDERICK,
fractured her limbs last week while coast
/ ing
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

The best medicine of the age for quickly
cur.ng Indigestion, nervousness, etc, Is
Browns Iron Bittcrs.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01
n B'nswa5te Egomse anal EoG,

situated on Main stree; in Middleway. Iciler
son County, West Virginia md known here
toforc as The Episcopal Church Parsonage.
fronting on said street ;ibout ~ feet, b. about
$50 feet back, and adjoining on The north the
lots nf John W Orantham Esq, tile dwelling
house on said lot being tw0-story irunc build
i'm newly painted and repaired aud contain
ing SO ya0ins, three OF which ara finely papered
aud finished Also or said lot there are brick
office. stable, woodshel, puni,ry house and meat
housc-al of which bn.ldings are in good con
ition. Possession ofthc property will bcgven
on the 1st day of April 1913.
TERMS. -One-thir,l Cash. an! The residue ~
two equal payments. one and two wears, with
interest from the day on which possession i
given The deferred payments 10 be- evidenced
by the bonds of the purchaser and - deed Of
trust on the premises sold.
MRS. LUCY 5. WYSONG.
J. y. GALIAIEs, Auc;ionecr.
NIB If a sale of tn above property is no.
effected. the same will be offered Il private
renting on or before the - day Of April, 1855.
january ~, l>53-3t
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01
IInn,t IA Tn The Wousc.

" Rough on Rats Clears out rats mice
reaches, bed-bug,, flies, ants, moies, chip
hunks, gophers. l5c.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01
EEena CHARTERS for ssotg'
L~OTICIG.

w HIS retiring from the Carpcrins
" business. as announced Oh the All ia
slant. ,ln not intend 20 rclinquish the Tin ani
s.oye Business; but on the contrary frpIo'.
10 push IL 90 its fullest extent. To this end {
hsTs pnrchascl rev and elegant supply W
Stoves aud Timing Material. and respenlgli7
Invite the attention Of Tie rnhiic to BE sims
JAMES ". BCTT
Nov Is 1870
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01
Terms Of SaEe.
NOTICE.

HAVING associated nv son in the Saddle
i & Harness Business with me, persons
whoarc indebted to me will please come for
ward and settle up their accounts. | thank
nv friends and patrons who have favored me
with their custom. and hope they Will continue
to deal with the firm of Il, Shngcrt * Son.
K. SHUGERT,
Ia, o5 1893 Charcstown.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

OF, be tr ,,n.1s received I'm the south. She
ass b,,, .-,, rom exhibitions of bad man
...r.
The IL 1~ pensions committee VIII ale
p..tl. +, Af.,,,.bs,, of ,,.,r,.,owp d
80 ..,. -...,-,r. o-.,aes,,5 ,f rbo.oa.
r.r.....
The W,,'ing 'a L.sht Iaaniry, whose
organized I'd dates back 60 So, VIII bolc
Tor ,nlB,, ann ~
4 G'"e"Sa'-o' y. g. old lady las ABOUT
con>'cr"ael 'ie local small o'! by attend
i"~~ h. Size aint IN her second child
hood, either.
Misses Jrnn q em tn ana Ad',' sherman
assisted 10y o'f H. L. i'ai''' ANA vic '.''
begun "a N'r''- 81 r'.- Us "Ad temperance
meetings 300 'i.'r'in''ofS'
r-.l... ..,,r., :, = Gland v;c.-
-. p ,,i,t l,.,.. ..., I'M. l,.re
hars according go the eoorm'ty 'i the ole
te1'e. Seven 'ashes we're well iaid on
Charles t""te ~ Baltimore '''y gam '"
Monday "rJo's' % WAS 'i''' case
Tl.J....-,...r,@l I.-;r,.rci.. r.rtbs,pr.
-.,, f...i ,....-.,5 ,.,..l. ,.,,.-s.. s.. l,os-
,3., c.r -.;ol.,r. .,s,, ey,r,qste cool
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

The W,s'ing 1a light Infantry, whose
organized "a latc- back 60 'S5, VIII bold
i.r 100 Fs ington ia tpr'I to raise funds
Tor 5u.iiils ann 20.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

a. y. S.s special indicates that Tie
SJa.vaTt gang have recovered from their
Garfield palsy and are inteu, on giving L.
:. Grant an immense boost for the next
presidency The Generals sappar. tender
I'd the hJe Executive in the dar, hours o,
,ae campaign aud his later favor shown 40
Fitz John Porter are alleged 5,acniag
factor, iu thc sci ue. Aur....r they al
iran, do t.e S-a.var,s, ttal t-- ,hirj term
r.anar las decd ou,. I'll? SEE shall see.
I. is said Hon He45y a. Mathew has
c.1seut.I 90 become claiidtte in the 81
c,pgr ,siuaa district for tac scat 70 be vac
Gated ,y Hon. john E. Ecuna ES-G'y.
Matthew'S IS man oi ability aai, ii ,icc;e 3,
SIT. reflect cr.li,upalt5, STATE In congress
he wa, Tie n.N, Co Mr. Eyuua in favor AT
W.ce.u- iar thy senatorial toga Of Hon.
Henry g. Davis.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

3li,.,, Jcnu smith and Addic Sherman.
assisted by Nr a. T. Harris aud wife rs,e
begun s,r,,- # RES u, all temperance
meetings Foo 3irtin,.Urg
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

The sporting men roundabout Gotham
arr greatly interested ia the newly arrived
Australian pugil>t whom Jem Mace, him
self hard hitter, has imported TO hgat
john l.. sullivan. Johns championship,
hitherto undi>puted, viii prooaoiH van
ike smoke shortly after confronting Mr..
Sl;,de OF New ZEALAND, sho stands feet
.oo anu al.. his bare feet, has enor-
moas shoe 0-,, immense 1rms, large pow
erlul hands with prodgious knuckles ana a
depth of chest perfectly astounding. He =
a half breed Maori, has manly, graecial
carriage auo tei every man that ey-
er crossed bis Professional path Ihats
enough. We will cheerlully aud promptly
give Mr.. Slade a very wide berth. There :
nothing mean about os.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

A Gr,eu,'r-o' y. C.I old lady Las about
con>tcroa.cd le local small h'y by attend
ir-~ r Sac aint In her second child
hood. either.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

Thew .las ~ tie Niiwaufea Ao,el fac
V.rc hariel with imqosing rites la>t week.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

Uuitran.U statute To- Narland wife
5catcr> ar. served with ia~hy- aaon the bare
ha-s according to the euormity of the of
tele. Seven asLcs we're wei laid on
Charlie, rootc I'm Baltimore City Jail oa
Monday Wriud-c /, wa, mild case.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

Tie departmental deficiencies orthe cur
rent fiscal year and which Congress IS look
cd Co for reimbursement aggregate cool
Sl.5.4O04 These ,.,lo i,cm- viii coniin-
ucto arise until jemocrf.ica administration
maxi, it.debut. Mark taat
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

A dispatch from Halifax Court House,
Va, dated January p, says; Last night
sir. James Guthrie, prosperous young
farmer, was married to NJ Hnlda Martin.
A large company was present a; the we'd
ding. which was solemnil r.. tae rosidtnce
of the brides father Owing to bad wea-
,her the guests remained "a, the Mansion all
night. rh;s mornin~ when they had as
sembicd at the breakfast table it was re-
marked that the 6ride ani groom were late
u coming. Suddenly the shrieSs Of wo-
man were e,,rd aud yhes,arded guests hast
ened into tae hall, where they m the
bride Of q night, who cried: Ny husband!
Oh, ms husband When she awoke this
mlruia- she found aes husband dead by
her side. Sac as almost insane from griei.'
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01
HEN. DUNTM'S

gTiS The pleasure Of the undersigned 20 -.
nounco 30 the gb.ic that Isis stock
il larser and more attractive than a; any former
pcrio,, ana as inspection is mos. respectfully
solicited
Confectionery, rorci;n AID Domcsiic-ihe
best manufacture. and mixtun~ Foreign and
Domestic Fruits. Nuts. DC
Fruit. Pound, sponge and other varieties NJ
Cakes
TOYS and Fancy Good,-some Of the rir.'
beautiful Dolls ever brought TO this market
Ia addition 10 The above.
q gO E1EEy
and everything neclfai for Christmas chcoF;
reasonable prices
Families supplied with Fruit aud other
Cakcs a; short un-icc klsc Dysicrs ~ quanii-
ties o. sut purchasers.
December q 1872
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

Cornelius j. Nauterh.'t' unpaid bills !or
lnNu5ie, ncc.-aues. ana borrowed money
m.sca long l.-. a ,hc Hartford paper, and
are quite a.iiJ,-isciy detailed, as for In
stance Crocfer. aud c.t-h, cleaning snow
AND catfish
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

JAY Gou,d's 500 contribution % the
Milwaukee fire sufferers ELECTS from the To-
cal MAYOR response which is exceedingly
sticky with ;atiy The slim, keen-eyed bro
ker might have added another o to his
cheque and not have lc.tit.
The New Orleans Masianis Cotton ills
wiu -oon ran l7.5co .pindles and employ
6'0 persons. NcEuielt, the SUP rin;en-
dent, a Massachusetts mill veteran, says az
hcmiii- producing plain brown goods in the
&. s. viii bc~iiua.ed in the South in > de-
c4jes.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

r.. -rmia- holidays wi,l bc more coner-
aily observed .l4u amy tor many years, and
~ would rex ld our readers thata bottle
{ -. 31i.'s Cough syrup viii prove most
.c e,l.h.c holiday present.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

Among the victims Of the Cimbria wreck
Was Mrs. Agnes Bobscin, sister Of Mrs.
Il nry Wud5, of Alexandria, and her two
children.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

Or. B.T. G..c., som of Rev. S.V. Leech,
died iu Albany. y. \. ls,t wcck-aeed p
years Hcva>a -rand-o1oi Che a.c b. T..
T.wa.r. oi oltghert.ovn. DR.. L. sradu-
a.cd in Blumore and prsct.c-d year in
M4rf.r-..r-r
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01
EsUEsEgC SsFLE
or Valuable Reai Eacte IN MiddleIca!

r!NlIE undersigned will offer At public auction
4 Is the highest bidder, in front Of the Court
House in CharcstoNn, Jefferson County, West
Virginia, at 10 o'clock, 4. NJ on
7ues9aH. Februarg m. 1883,
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

In the House of Delegates on Tuesday the
prohibition measure passed by a vote of ~
90 Il. Mcs-rs Fouke and Rider in the ne
xativc. 1t is now .or the Suate to say
whether or not the amendment shall go to
.,e ne,nie Tor Their verdict.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-02-01

Jan 80 1893. st
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-04-10
THE RAILWAY WAR.

All winter several of the Peoria roads
have been cutting rates. Notably among
the roads are the Wabash and the Chicago
Burlington & Quincy. Thus far the c.,
X. |. Il p. has paid no attention 10 these
cuts, but of late ii became apparent thai
the road must do something. as the cut
made by the other roads was telling on
their passenger travel. Yesterday morn
ing the road commenced to take a hand in
the game. says the Freeman, and began to
cut and slash rates to all points reached
by the other roads. The rate to Chicago
was $3.50, and if the passenger didn't
have the right change it was all the same.
he got his ticket. By some means it was
whispered around the Union depot that
the c., II. |. & p. was cutting rates, and
quite number of passengers left the
Union and went to the Rock Island depot,
where they were accommodated at very
low rates. The Rock Island people say
they intend to cut until the other roads
are brought to terms, and until that time
comes will make Rome howl" Let them
90 ahead The roads have it their own
way most of the time, but occasionally
they get notion into their heads that
there is nothing too good for the dear
public. The other roads will undoubtedly
join in and make affairs interesting
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-04-10
MOLINE DEPARTMENT..
Mrs. Frank Lundahl has nearly recovC

Mrs. Frank Lundahl has nearly recover
ed her health.
Miss Kate Kelsey is expected home this
evening
Mr. Gilbert Shaw ard family left fol
their home in Chicago last night
John Cady is attending Augustana Col
lege.
Frank Gunnell, Jr, has accepted a po-
sition as night clerk at the Keator House
Miss Emma kohler left for Chicago
this morning.
Miss Sophia Peterson left for a bust
ness trip to the, Garden City last evening,
1t is the opinion of w, FL. Gest, of Rock
Island. that the Fifth ward question is
not as legal as it might be.
The Whist club were entertained by
Mrs. J. d. Chapman last evening at her
residence.
The aged mother of G. r. Edwards is
lying dangerously i'll at the residence of
her son.
ID. W. Dimock has accepted the posi-
ton of book keeper in the Milan wagon
factory
The Rev. c. L. Morgan will be here
Sunday to preach if his son gets no
worse
The Slayton Ideal Company left for
Rock Island this morning, where they
play to night.
The Rev. DIR. Chenly, of Elgin, is ex-
pected to occupy the pulpit of the Bap-
tist church next Sunday
Tom Missing is about To erect two
large smoke stacks for the Keator Lum-
Der Co
John Deere went to Chicago last night
Main street is being cleaned up better
than it has been for years. The new add
ministration will begin soon aud the street
commissioner is scared.
Miss Christine Nelson was smiled upon
by some fastidious individual on Sunday
evening, and the Democrat calls it in a
glaring headline an indecent assault.
> J. W. War; is the alderman of the
Fifth ward, having drawn the lucky
stick last night at the meeting of the city
council.
Miss Matte Keyes of Rock Island, has
accepted position as saIcslady with F.
A. Burgstcn & Co,
Fisk & Co opened their store this
morning. The many friends of A. P. Fisk
will be glad to see INN again resume
business.
There will be an election in the Third
ward on May Sth for an alderman to fill
the vacancy caused by the resignation of
Alderman Knox
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-04-10
AN UNSAFE PLACE

The ARGUS has been requested to call
attention to the unsafe condition OF
things near the intersection of Second
avenue and Twenty third street. II will
be remembered that during the. winter, a
large portion of the rocky sub stratum OF
the roadway at the lower end of the
street was quarried for the water works
protection, leaving an immense pit, now
half full of water and in an entirely I'M
protected condition. One of these nights
somebody win drive or walk into that
excavation, and the city may he called
upon to settle "a heavy claim for damages
At piesent there is neither railing by day,
nor lantern by night TO warn people
against the dangerous trap-the worst
one, by far, within our city limits to-day
The greatest wonder in connection with
it is that somebody hasn't been killed or
MANNED before this, ny falling into it. 1t
should he attended To without delay
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-04-10
THE TOBACCO TAX.

BY the act of March 8, 1883, the'tax on
cigars is reduced to three dollars per
thousand, end on tobacco to eight cents
per pound, to take effect May I, 1888.
By the same act, the special tax of deal
ers in manufactured tobacco is reduced TO
two dollars and fifty cents, to take effect
the same day. No claims for rebate of
a less amount than ten dollars will be
considered The rebate will be three
dollars per thousand; and three thousand
three hundred aud fifty cigars in original
and unbroken packages will entitle the
owner thereof to rebate of ten dollars
and five cents, provided The owner has
qualified as manufacturer or dealer,
and paid special tax AS such, prior to May
1, for the SPECIAL tax commencing on that
day
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-04-10
The Heroine eff the No7elists Of To-Day.

The Heroine ef the Novelists Of To-Day.
Nav | be pardoned the impertinence.
but | have of late taken some pains to
ascertain the age of the heroine, the
heroine of the contemporary novel
Examining carefully, in several IN
stances, the data furnished by her spon-
sors, have sorted out and tabulated
certain general facts. These facts show
her age to be, never under twenty; rare.
ly two-and-tWenty; usually from TWEEN
ty four to twenty seven, twenty-eight,
and even there-above, giving an aver
age of twenty-five (pfus). While pur-
suing these numerical calculations,
am closely observing the heroine face
There are 10 telling line" upon the
brow or about the eye, and her color Is
still faultless. 1t is to be noted, more
over, that she retains in her manner
wonderful measure of youthful vivacity
and frankness. l am far from caviling
at the happy ease and gracefulness
with which she carries the weight OF her
wears. This is as we would have 1t; but
the sineularity of the case appears when
her age is contrasted with that of her
predecessor, the heroine OF the old
fashioned novel. The latter is always
a jeane fiie, who, when the narrative
of her fortunes is concluded, has scarce
ly more than crossed the threshold OF
the twenties. Rustic and Hnschooled,
or accomplished and sophisticated;
phlegmatic or piquant, timid or auda-
her temperament and
behavior, she is invariably lovely and
of tender age What writer of fiction
in its early days would have presented,
or what reader would have accepted, a
heroine who did not possess the two
chief requisites, beauty and youth? OF
beauty, it is still expected the heroine
shall have certain allowance, as pair
of fine ewes or II sensitive mouth. AS
to youth, the restriction no longer
holds. Why the changed fashion?
account for it in only one way: the
metaphysical tendency of the modern
novel seems to require that the charac-
ter of central importance shall interest
us subjectively This character must
be subtended by actual experience, ripe
feeling, settled convictions, and a clever
vein of casuistry. Now, as these do
not consist with the idea of extreme
YOUTH and as consistency and realism
are the special jewels of the present fic-
ton school, it follows that we have a
heroine who, to say the least, is mo
longer Young" Again, conversation
is, as every reader knows. an essential
element of the contemporary novel;
and analysis would probably show the
following ratio: Conversation, including
speculative Interpolation by the author,
three parts; incident, one. What, in
the present exigency, were a silent OF
monosyllabic heroine? The heroine is
she who converses subhlely, saying far
more than "meets the ear adroitly
touching both the heights and deeps of
experience. The conversation of school
girls is not wont to be of this order;
hence the reigning heroine's maturer
age.-4p1it 44ttantic.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-04-10
Government Relief in Germany.

The German government has done
very little to relieve the sufferines of
those who have lost everything by the
overflow of the Rhine TO make mat
tiers worse, the weather has been intense
ly cold. just at this time, when there is
so much suffering, the German govern
ment sees proper to increase the already
immense army. While millions are being
squandercd in all kinds of extravaganza,
and the burdens of the people increased
in every possible way. the destitute sub
lectS of Kaiser Wilhelm are diving of
starvation and cold.
The following bitter satire on the red
tape that encumbers what little assis-
lance is rendered the unfortunate people.
is translated from a German comic paper:
The starving family perceive the gov
eminent official. who is to furnish relief,
and exclaim: Here comes help at last
from the government. Now we will
have clothes, food and iirewood. =
Official Don't become excited.
What's the matter, dear peoples"
Father-''In the first place, we have
nothing to eat. | am 50 weak from
starvation that cannot work to earn any
money to support nay family"
Official-"Nhat used To be your usual
weight?'
Father don't know"
Official our are nice people! when
you have plenty, you never think of lay
ing up statistics for a rainy day. All
can do for YOU now is to have you
weighed from day to day To ascertain
the influence of hunger upon the human
anatomy. There will be no charge for
weighing. The government does that
gratis for you. Is there anything else
lacking?"
Father-''We are freezing to death in
this room
Official-''W is the average degree
of cold: according to the thermometer
Father don't know.
Official-"That' bad This whole
province is suffering for thermometers.
You will receive an excellent instrument,
from which You can learn the temper
ature at any time. You must note the
temperature three times day, so that
the degree of cold can be corroborated
officially. l viii return in eight days for
your report. Be sure and have it ready"
Father-"By that time half of us will
be dead and buried.
Oficial-"The deaths are to be ccm-
piled on a separate piece of paper, which
will assist materially in ascertaining Of
fcially the actual death rate. All you
have to do is to keep cool. The State
will soon have all the statistics prepared.
Good-bye -