The Portland daily press., 1883-03-27
The Exhorter,s Mine.
And How 1t victimized the Bad Boys
Pa.
[Peck,s sun.l

SAY, can't sell you some STOCK ~ sA-
yer mine?'' asked the bad boy OF the grocery
man, as he came in the store and pulied
from his breast pocket document printed
on parchment paper, and representing sever
a, thousand dollars stock In silver mine.
aIookahere,n says the grocery man, as
he turned pale and thought of telephoning
to the police station for a detective, .you
haven't been stealing your fathers mining
stock, have youT' Great heavens, il has
come at lasti l have known all the time
that you would turn out to be burglar or a
defaulter of some kind. Your father has
the reputation of having bonanza in a sill
yer mine, but if you go Juggling his silver
stock around he will soon be ruined. Now,
you go right back home and put that stock
in your pa safe, like good boy'
s'Put 1t in the safe! o, no, We keep it in
box-stall now, in the barn. l will trade
you this thousand dollars in stock for two
heads of lettuce, and get pa to sign it over
to you, if you say so. Pa told me | could
have the whole trunk full if | wanted it,
and the hired girls are using the silver stock
to clean windows, and TO kindle fires, and
pa has quit the church and says he won't
belong TO any concern that harbors bilks.
What's bilk?' said the boy as he opened
q candy-jar and took out four sticks of boar
hound candy.
ga blk, said the grocery man, as he
watched the boy, sis fellow that plays a
man for candy, or money, or anything, and
don't intend to return an equivalent. You
are small-sized blk. But what is the matter
with your pa and the church, and what has
the silver mine-stock got to do with it?''
'sWell, YOU remember that exhorser that
was here last fall that used to board around
with the church people all the week and
talk about Zion and laying up treasures
where the moths wouldn't gnaw them, and
they wouldn't get rusty, and where thieves
wouldn't pry off the hinges? He was the
one that used to go home with ma from
prayer meetings, when pa was down town,
and who wanted to pay off the church debt
in solid silver bricks. He's the blk. /
guess if pa should get him by the neck he
would jerk nine kinds of revealed religion
out of him. o, pa is hotter than he was
when the hornets took the lunch off of him.
When yon strike pious man on the pock-
et-book it hurts him. That fellow prayed
and sang like an angel and boarded
around like tramp. He stopped at our
house over week, and had specimens Of
rock that were chuck full of silver and gold,
and he and pa used TO sit up highs and look
at it. You could pick pieces of silver out of
the rock as big as buckshot. and he had
some silver bricks that were beautiful. He
had been out in Colorado and found hill
full of the silver rock, and he wanted to
form a stock company and dig out millions
of dollars. He didn't want anybody
but pious men that belonged to the
church in the company, and / think
that was one thing that caused pa to
unite with the church SO suddenly. know
he was as wicked as could be few days
before he joined the church, but this reviv-
alist, with bis words about the beautiful be-
yoDd, wheIe all shall dwell together in peace
and sing praises, and his description of that
Colorado mountain where the silver stuck
out so you could hang your hat on it, con-
verted pa. That mans scheme was to let
all the church people who were in good
standing and who had plenty of money in
to the company, and when the mine began
to return dividends by the carload, they
could give largely to the church, and pay
the debts of all the churches, and put down
carpets and fresco the ceiling. The man
said he felt that he had been steered on 10
that silver mine by higher power, and his
idea was to work it for the glory of the
cause. He said he liked pa and would make
him vice-president of the company. Pa he
bit like bass, and guess he invested 3d.
900 in stock, and ma she wanted to come in,
and she put in $1,000 that she had laid up to
buy some diamond earrings, and the man
gave pa a lot of stocks to sell to other menu
bers of the church. They are all into it,
even the minister. He drew his salary
ahead, and all the deacons they come in,
and the man went back TO Colorado with
about $4,000 of good pious money. Yes
terday pa got a paper from Colorado giving
the whole snap away, and the pious man
has been spending the money in Denver,
and whooping it up. Pa suspected some
thing was wrong two weeks ago, when he
hard that ho r1lOr had haar.
toot in Chicago, and he wrote to a man in
Denver, whoused to get full with pa years
ago when they were both on the turf, and
pas friend said that the man who sold the
stock was fraud, and that he didn't own
no mine, and that be borrowed the samples
of ore and silver bricks FROM a pawnbroker
in Denver. / guess it will break pa up, for
while, though he is well enough txed
with mortgages and things. But it hurts
him to be took in. He lays it all to ma
He says If she hadn't let that exhorter for
the silver mine go home with her this
would not have occurred, and ma says she
believes pa was 10 partnership with the man
to beat her out of her thousand dollars that
she was going to buy pair of pious dia-
mond earrings with.
80, it is a terror over to the house now.
Both the hired girls put in all the money
they had, and took stock, and they threaten
to sue pa for arson, and they are going TO
leave tonight, and ma will have to do the
work Don't you never try to get rich
quick" said the boy, as be peeled herring
and took couple of crackers.
Never you mind me" said the grocery
man. 'sThey don't catch me on any of
their silver mines. But / hope this will
have some influence on you, and teach you
to respect your pas feelings, and not play
any jokes ON him, while he is feeling SO bad
over his being swindled."
80, don't know about that. | think
when man is in trouble, if he has good
little boy to take his mind from his troubles,
and get him mad at something else, it rests
him. Last night we had hot maple syrup
and biscuit for supper, and pa had a saucer
full in front Of him, just steaming. |
could see he was thinking too much about
his mining stock, and | thought if there was
anything could do to take his mind off Of
1t, and place 1t ON something else, would be
doing kindness that would be appreciated.
sat on the right OF pa, and when he wasn't
looking pulled the table cloth so the sau-
Ger OF red hot maple syrup dropped off into
ms lap. Well, you'd died to see how quick
ms thoughts turned from bis financial troub-
les to his physical misfortunes. There was
about pint of hot syrup, and it went all
over his lap, and you know how hot melted
maple sugar is, and how it sort of clings TO
anything. Pa jumped up and grabbed bold
OF MS pants legs to pull them away from
hisself, and he danced around and told ma
20 turn the hose on him, and then he took a
pitcher of ice water and poured 1t down his
pants, and he said the condemned old table
was getting so rickety that saucer wouldn't
stay on it, and told pa If he would put some
tar Oh bis legs, the same kind that he told
me TO put on my lip to make my moustache
grow, the syrup wouldn't burn so, and then
he cuffed me, and / think he felt better It
is great thing to get mans mind off Of
his troubles, but where a man hasn't got
any mind, like you, for instance
At this point the grocery man picked up
fire poker, and the boy went out in hurry
and hung up sign in front Of the grocery,
'sCash paid for fat Dogs"