The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1883-07-19
HOW HE GOT OUT OF 1T.

"For goodness sake! what's the mat
Ter, Dod?" exclaimed Sidney Stitt,
looking UP from the bachelor occupa-
ton of sewing on button, in which his
friends sudden entrance caused him to
lose a stitch andprick his fingers YOU
look as if all the sings and arrows of
outrageous fortune had made you their
target for q month";
q Matteri' grOwled Dodanim DOthan,
finging himself into chair, and glow
ering angrily at the world through the
window there's enough the matter;
Il shonld say!'
Sidney sucked his punctured finger,
and waited till the spirit of confidence
should move Dodanim to unbosom.
''Sid,' he said at length, - m in a
mess! You know what told you about
Phidyle Bates.
You said you had made her an offer
of marriage, and that she had promised
a speedy answer"
Yes, and she kept her word, too,
confouud her punctuality"
That is to say, declined with
thanks.
No-accepted with the eagerness of
n despairing maiden clutching at the
last matrimonial straw to keep from
sinking in the Slough of Despondr'
Ito get out Of it," said Dodanim.
f'You see, Phid Bates, as l happened to
discover, was down in her rich aunt Hes
keth's will for the old lady's entire for
tune; and the latter being turned of
ninety, the man lucky enough to become
Phid' husband might fairly hope to real
ize his golden dreams without vexatiOus
delay bold push to be that hap
ply man. l pressed my suit, proposed,
and, as already stated, was accepted. For
twenty-four hours l was the happiest of
men. But, alas! how soon was the
blissful chalice dashed from my lips
Anote from Phidyle announced that
her aunt, on being informed of her en-
gagement, in a fit of rage called in her
lawyer and made another will, leaving
everything to the-I forgot what she
called it-Society.
Il hoped the letter would wind up
with an offer to release me in view of
these altered circumstances. But not
a bit of it! I'm real glad it's hap
pened so, dear Doddy,' she added in a
postscript: Tor now everybody will
know, as did always, that you sought
me for myself alone
''NOw, Sid, that's the scrape l want
you to help me out of. If l was only
free from Phid, / could work my way
back into Carrie Sewell's good graces
when she gets back from the visit she's
gone upon. She's got a few thousands
of her own, and is as pretty as a pink.
/ only dropped her because l thought
saw better chance"
Sidney Stitt having finished his sar-
torial labors, and put away his needle
and thread, sat for few moments
wrinkling his majestic brow in thought.
There one plan that might work, -
he said at length.
s'Out with itr' cried bod. jumping up
and grasping his hand. / knew yOu
could help me if anybody could"
''Phid Bates is a high-strung piece, -
continued Sid. IF you could only lead
her to suspect that all along your heart
has really been anOther's, / believe
she'd send you packing without mo-
ments ceremony"
''But how to manage such a
scheme?n
''Oh! that's simple enough. Write
n strong love-letter to some other wom-
ana fictitious one, if you like. Direct
III put il in your pocket unsealed, as
though you meant to add or incloSe
something before mailing it; call on
Phid; talk as lovingly as ever and be-
fore coming away, accidentally drop the
letter and leave it. Trust TO female
curiosity for the rest
Capitalr' shouted bod. slappino
his friends shoulders. Lets about il
at once;n and drawing a chair to the
table on which were pen, ink and pa
per, he sat down.
Don't YOU think it had better be adj
dressed TO an actual person. he asked
Ito somebody Phid knows for in
stanceP She'd be more apt to think ii
real. STAY have iti-What say you
TO Nepenthe Hooker?"
- Ha! ha! hap laughed Sid-''why,
she celebrated her semi-centennial the
other day, and is uglier than she's old;
but no matter-she'H do as well as
any
But isn't there danger Phid may see
through the ioke?' suggested bod.
"NO--a Jealous woman never takes
aR5ttiHg as joke; besides, rs Miss
Hooker owns a small annuity, Phid will
scent a motive for your perhdy."
bod, after spelling several sheets OF
paper, submitted the following for his
friends approval:
DEAREST NEPE NTHE-Aftcr many attempts
and failures to suitably express the ardent
1 abandon the effort i'm despair. ! would
throw myself 1T your feet and pour out my
words but for the dread that your answer
might doom me 20 hopeless misery. Permit
ne, then, through the imperfect medium OF
fhe pen in plain and simple terms, to declare
my undyinE love Tor YOU, and you alone
whatever idle tongues may have chosen 70 re-
MART Dearest / now offer You my heart and
hand. 30 not break the one by declining the
her would so 70 seek your answer from
tonr lovely bps, but lack the courage Please
replv BY early post And now. darling, having
1oinuifted 10 paper this faint expression 81
FEELINGS long pent up, shall seal and dispatch
b as soon as have Famed sufnclent nerve
= - - Votr devoted DODANId DOrHAN.
..Bravo! bod, y applauded sid. You
ought 70 get up new aud revised edi-
Is; ~ sTbe Approved Letter-writer,
III Tove-maker's Assistant for the
&c ,.namored SWANS of defective lit
erarv training =,
'By George though SAID poa' y