The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-12-08
TIE TOADSTOOL.
Some Objections to the Scientific Propensity
to Foist That Fungus the Public as an

Some Objections to the Scientific Propensity
to Foist That Fungus the Public as an
Edible
London Telegraph.
This serious aspect of the toadstool does
not, however, explain the persistence of hui
man efforts to popularize them as food. 1t
is in vain that the unwilling fungus pro-
tests with all its might against being con-
sidered fit for food. In vain that it selects
for its development all the most odIous
shapes possible to vegetables, and attaches
to itself, with all the other exterior deem
cies OF unwholesomeness, the most objec-
tionabe odors. In vain does it pretend to
be leather or glue, a lump of frog-spawn or
bunch of buttons, horn, a rag, fragment
Of crockery. The resolute funsologist eats
it. In vain will it smell at the top OF its
voice till you can positively hear its malo-
dorousness half a meadow Off In vain
does il secrete the most venomous colors
distributed over it in the most reptilian
blotches. The fungologist will not believe
it, even on its oath, and away it goes into the
stew-pan. Nothing can check the furious en-
thusiasm of the scientist; nothing except
cramp in the stomach convince him of the
sincerity of the toadstoors protest. He would
even turn toad off to eat its namesake. The
fungivorous mania is noteworthy, and may
arise from the fact that man has naturally a
somewhat unwholesome appetite. 1t is GER
tain that his gastronomic enterprise is I'M
limited. When very young, indeed, he will
put anything that he can reach into his
mouth, even his own socks with the feet in
side them, and whatever is given him to play
with he will promptly proceed to try to
eat Growing older and caple of indie
pendent locomotion, he goes buccaneering
under the tables and furniture, and, the odds
are, energies again into society with some
thing irregular in his mouth. Later on. and
having the run of the garden and fields he
Or1oic at1nI clxv rnhh fha G~,ah
dormouse and squirrel of their viands and
not hesitating to consume even that which
they refuse. Everything he finds is put at
once to the test of his teeth and his expert
ences become OF very mixed sort. Arrived
at manhood, he experiments upon his stom-
ach with the fungus But it is melancholy
feeding at best. company can never
rise to much hilarity which has TO
be perpetually looking in each others faces
to see if the last mouthful threatens to be
fatal. No one ever asks for a second help of
toadstools. 1t is sufficient achievement
that the first plateful should have been got
rid of without casualty. Each congratul ates
the other when it is done, and drinks glass
of sherry with him. They assure the chair
man that it was excellent-"quite like the
real mushroom in fact"-if not, indeed
rather more so. But they will have no more
of it. They firmly but politely decline
The chairman in the course of general con-
versation remarks that the last dish was
composed of a toadstool which is very
nearly allied to the most deadly species
known, and that they are virtually
indistingushable-e by results. The
company winces at this, but accepts the fact
as curious" and remarkable > as indeed, ,
most interesting, and take glass of sherry.
The conversation involuntarily drifts upon
remedies for poisoning by funguses, but
every thing that is suggested is pronounced
by some one or another to be delusive, as, to
his own positive knowledge, he knew it to
fail signally in the case of farmer so-an-so's
boy, who, in spite of the antidote was seized
with cramps in the stomach, accompanied
by dizziness, and shortly lost all conscious-
ness Thus pleasantly discoursing, these con-
sumers of strange meats while away their
meal. but are dreadfully upon the alert all
tho time for the first symptoms of an attack.