New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-07
WHOLE NUMBER $50
WITTY Qefey,uen,

In the early part Of tho present een.
tury DR.. Asa Burton. pastor Of the Con.
.gregational Church in Thetford, Yer.
mont was ono day Officiating - Mod
orator Of tho Orange Association q
Ministers, Of which he was member.
and. toward evening, whilethe brethren
were engaged in criticising an essay
which had just been rsad by one Of their
number, tea was brought in and passed
around. One Of the juniors q once
rose and said, .Mr. Moderator, shallw
continue our criticisms while we arc
eating" The old doctor pithily replied.
Young men. let your victuals stop
your mou.h.''
A young minister once preached foe
the celebrated DR.. Emmons, Of Frank.
lin. Mass. and, o. he waa about CON-
mencing the service. he said 70 the doc
tor. II will be glad if you will offer the
long prayer before the sermon" The
doctor testify calculated. "Whst your
own scythe."
Dr.. David Parsons, the old-tims pas
tor Of the church in Amherst, was noted
Tor his eccentricties. and. among other
vagaries, used to have . plate get q his
table for favorite cat One day. while
asking blessing at the morning meal,
he was taken with . fit of coughing,
and before the paroxysm was over the
cat mewed. As soon rs the parson could
speak, he turned to the cat and exclaiu-
ed. ''Shut up! can get along without
your helpr' and then struck In whero
he had left of and finished the blessing.
Some forty or fifty years ago. when
Mr.. Burchard was itinerating - IN
evangelist in Vermont, he had four
days meeting in Burlington, and on
one occasion. Immediately after the sez.
mon. be left the pulpit, IS was won't
sisles. catechizing the congregation.
Stepping up to Prot. Farren Benedict,
he said, "Are you professor. STRIP
Eyes, sir. l am professor of maths.
mates and civil engineering" IVES The
cool reply.
You'll 20 to hell. sir.''
Demonstrate that, if you please. sir"
Mr.. Burchard apparently concluded
the enemy carried too many guns for
him. and passed on.
Dr.. Archibald Alexander. Of Princeton,
had . keen wit. as his pupils had
abundant occasion to know. It 10 said
that young theologue once called a
the doctors study to receive his critic
isms on an exercise which had been
handed In some days previous. The
doctor took up the paper and remarked:
Il Sc that you have incorrectly writ
ten the first letter in agood many words
in capitals. Don't you know that .
word should never begin with !. capital
letter unless it is proper name OF the
beginning of q sentence?'
''Why, doctor. this is poetry!'
lis it. indeeda l beg your pardos.
Dir. ! beg your pardon. sir. WASN'T
aware of it.''
When Professor Park, Of Andover.
was younger man than he II now, he
visited the Walhalla, at Nuremberg. A
he was standing near the magnificent
temple, lost in admiration, q German
professor approached and. after passing
the compliments of the day, remarked,
II perceive, sir. that you are IN Eng.
lishman." Professor Park smiled and
made no reply. A moment later be In.
quired. "Do you know the cost OF this
buildingp" The German at once ex.
claimed. Il perceive, sir, that you aro
an American. do verify believe that
when an American comes to stand BE-
fore the great white throne his first
words will be, How much did Il
costp" A. Dean, IN the Indepsa.
dent.