St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-06-08
An Arizona Justice.
lStookton Herald


''When | was practicing down to
Tombstone" said the lawyer, "a friend
of mine had his ear chewed off one
evening in a dispute with prominent
citizen who dealt faro. After seeing
the doctor he came to me. and under
my advice he had the prominent citi
zen arrested on charge of mayhem.
Next day we had the man up for his
preliminary examination. Nv friend
was there with his head bandaged, and
so were the prominent citizen and his
counsel, and the friends of both par
ties. The general public-and it's a
pretty tough general public in Tomb
stone-crowded the court room. The
hour went by, but the justice didn't
turn up. The constable went out to
look for him, but he could not find him
in any of the saloons. We secuted
around for half an hour, but nary a
sign of the court turned up. Finally,
Gen. O'Brien, the leader of the Tomb
stone bar, stuck his head up through
trap door in the floor and said in SOL
emn way:
"Gentlemen, remove your hats His
honor is here" And he dragged the
court up by the collar. He was Timber
drunk and had been sleeping it off
in the cellar. You never saw such
long adjournment from decency as that
ornament of the bench was. He was
covered with dirt, and even his hair
and beard were chock full of sawdust.
There was, | remembered, fattened
quid of tobacco on his cheek bone. We
had to hold his honor under each arm
as we led him to the nearest barber
shop. A bath and shampoo brought
back some life to him, and he was able
to walk without help to the court
room. Once in the chair behind his
high desk he looked all right and went
on with the case. We had taken the
testimony of three witnesses to the
row and subsequent chewing of my
friends ear in the Excelsior faro par
lors, when Gen. O'Brien and Col.
Stephens, both on the other side, Jump
ed up and objected to one of my ques-
tiOns. 1t was law point and we ar
gued and quoted authorities for about
half an hour. 1t was pretty hot set
out and we were all on our feet when
we finished and turned round to the
court for ruling. He was looking
straight before him up above us as if
he was sleeping with his eyes open.
"YOur honor" said the general, after
long pause, "we are waiting for your
ruling"
There was no answer. Then | chip
ped in with:
"YOur honor, will you be good enough
to give us your ruling" ?"
"Wash thai" he said, trying to bring
his eyes to bear upon me.
ave want your ruling"
Courts ajOurned," he said, trying
to rise.
We all protested, but his only an
swer was to strike his desk with his fist
and cry out again that the court was
adjourned.
"WOn't you fix the bail of this de-
fendant ?" demanded the general
"NOw, shir," said the court, who had
got on his feet by this time, and was
frOwning heavily. "Turn IN loose.
He'd Oughter chawed the head off that
tenderfoot, that's what he'd Oughter
done"
Well, gentlemen, what do you think
the court did next He just deliberate
ly staggered over to the trap door, lift
ed it, stepped down the stairs until on
ly his head and shoulders were above
the floor, and then pausing to glare at
the paralyzed crowd of us, grOwled
out:
"Yeh can all go to"
With that lie ducked and let the door
fall, and suppose had his sleep out on
the dirty floor of the cellar.