Brookings County sentinel. (Brookings, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1890, 1883-01-25
PLEASANT RieS.

UerttSer.
A MAN has got to hold pretty good
hand nowadays to "see" the world. -
Boston Com. Bulletin.
RAISING food from the plate TO the
mouth is the best health lift.-NeU
York Commercial AdUertiser.
INDIANA has so many Presidential
candidates that few men are left TO at
tend to the farm work.-BOston Post.
IT struck Colorado Springs cores
pondent Of the Springfield Republican
as little singular that the man who de-
scribed the place as ga paradise for in
valids was making living by burying
the invalids who died there.
II one shoe factory in Lynn are thirty
women, all of them divorced wives. And
yet everyone OF them would consider
herself irsulted should anyone insinu
ate that she is not true TO the last
Bos'on Transcript.
An Illinois court has decided that
woman's lie about her age doesn't vitiate
her insurance policy. The Judge
! thought that if they expected woman
served to be swindled. d.-Er.
! Az article entitled "How to Wash the
| Baby is going the rounds of the press.
! Persons who read il will be surprised to
! learn that the infant is washed with wa
| ter, but is not run through a wrlnging
machine and hung on the line to dry. -
NOrristoUn Heraid.
A LADY has written story called
"My Husbands Secret" 1t is supposed
she discovered it by sneaking softly
down stairs and peepIug through the
! kevhule when he brought from its hiding
/ place bottle labelled cough mixture"
/ n NOrrjSfo,Cn HeraH.
OrIpA says: "Some lies are blessed
as truth" Well. ma'am, you've got
right INTO the facts of your case. The
Que that makes vonr wife believe you
v,re at q church meeting when you
were at variety show is generally
more So BOS'OR Post
4 LITTLE girl i'll Sunday school, who
| the day before had succeeded i'll tearing
her doll to pieces, when asked what
, Adam Was made Of, replied, "Of dust.
And what WAS Eve made of ?" inquired
I the encouraged teacher. "N sawdust,"
Was the prompt response.
4 Scotch lady, whose daughter was
married recentlv, vas asked by AL old
| friend whether she might congratulate
her upon the event. Yes, yes, she
answered; upon the whole II is very
satisfactory; 1t Is true Jennie hates ner
GUIDE man. but then there's always Il
something.
I'm gong to masquerade ball this
evening, and want en- appropriate
dress, " be said TO the costumer. What
is Your business 2" "Oh, I'm a milk
man. All! Then you'd better put Oh
a pair Of pumps and go disguised as n
waterfall. '--.NeiC York Commercial i'd
verfiSer.
4 LITTLE boy asked mamma the
following questions, TO which all mann
mas" answers are not yet recorded:
Mamma, if bear should swallow me
| should die. shouldn't II" Yes.
dear" And should go to heaven?"
"Yes, dear" And would the bear
have to go too?'
Miss MALvIxA RCMLEy has Just
started out with her beau for walk,
WHEN her little brother Johnny calls to
| her from the fence: say, MalvIna,
dou't Won bring that feller back here to
tea with you. Mamma says there amt
more'n enough biscuits to 60 around a.
it Is. "-Ai@r. S,reet.
"MY mothers awful tcSle, sail hit
tie Edith to Mrs. Smith, who was max
| ing a call. when she saw you coming
up the street she said, There's that
! h0rrid Mrs. Smith; ! hope she isn't
! coming here and minute after she
! told Won she was real glad to see you.
Boston Transcript
! HIGH classic" Can you comprehend
me?" II am, perhaps little obtuse,
| but Won may be assured | shall get at
your meaning presently" Low classic
-"Can you catch on ?" "Well, perhaps
don't drop as suddenly as some, but
you bet III tumble as quick as the aver
age. ."-Er.
Now, sir" said the enterprising fur
nisher and ironmonger OF Upper Ped
lingtou to q gentleman who'd been buy
ing Christmas presents for his family,
something for your mother ln-iaw-a
nice spring msttress| "No, no,
groaned the departing customer; "she
lies quite easily enough as 1t rs.
A LITTLE child III San Francisco saw
some snow the other day for the first
time. He thought it was feathers or
pieces Of paper, finally that 1t must be
salt or white sugar. He then gathered
some in his hand, and was surprised AT
its GOODNESS. He put 1t away III closet
"to keep forever and show 10 people"
but before he reached the closet 1t was
gone, leaving him more bewildered than
ever.
The Springfield Republican tells how
a gentleman took from his pocket after
dinner a pair of solitaires and passed
them to his wife. "Humph," she said.
prize package, suppose and passed
them on to her son. dollar store, ehy'
commented the youth. Papa smiled aud
silently replaced the card in his pocket.
A few days later mamma said, where
did you get those earrings you showed
us?" .'Well, a man Submitted them to
me at the store. They were only $3.50.
but you are such O poor Judge OF gems
that thought it wasn't worth while to
give them to you.
THERE died a few weeks ago IN Tor
QUITO an old man known as Uncle Reube,
who for thirty years has sold his vote at
every election for 81, the average mar
ket price. Ten or twelve years ago, an
election day approached, he went to the
man who usually bought him and said:
"Mr. Blank, guess l won't sell my
vote this time" "You won't; why,
what on earth ails you, Uncle Reuhe 2"
"Well, want to see how it feels to cast
free ballet once" But he was greatly
disappointed in the sensation and the
next election he insisted on having -,