The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-08-08
WIT AND PLEASANTLY.
The following plaeard hangs up in Ten
nessee store window:

He'd axe
Belize g
Tota "
No matter how bad temper one may
haN e be should never lose it--Rochester Post
Express.
Directions to conductors of street cars:
The womsn with rubber waterproof sh ould
invariably be shaken before taken. Ditto
the men with the wet rubberOvercosts.
ParssUls, hats, dreeses, entire suits of vel
vet, silk, satin or cloth, in Paris, are red this
summer, even the trimmings are red; in fact
every thing is red in Paris except the Bible.
Did you ever think what you would do if
you had Vanderbilt's income2-P Philadelphia
News. Well, no; but we have often won
dered what Vanderbilt would 90 if had our
income.
There is tradition among the Indians
that you csn always identify the trail of
General Sheridsn's exploring parties by the
empty whisky bottles scattered along the
line of march.
It il said that the natural beauties of the
Yellowstone Park are being defaced and de
stroyed by visitors. This comes Of driving
away tie Indians, who were IN the habit OF
scslping tourists.
They thought they heard burglars in the
house last week, and in going down stairs to
investigate Bibbs said to his wife: "You 60
first; it's mean man that would shoot a
wcman.'-BostOn Budget.
They were boassing of their beautiful fig
ures. One said her figure wasn't like figure
/ snhow, and the other retorted that hers
was not like figure 8, figure. ghtiVely
Epesking.-TuTners Fails Reporter.
Don't wish cream2'' cried the good old
lady who had prospered in everything but
education. "Why, that is the potmetical
part of the tea; it takes away the canine and
makes it taste quite epicutel"-Mrs. Parting
ton.
They were Boosting about ancestry. "My
forefsthers," said John, "come over from
England on the Mayhower." "And my an.
cestrs," said Pat, "kim over from QIanes-
town on the Sungower. It's aesthetic sm,
! begorrsr'
Now the epotheeary
Doth deem il necessary
To closely scan the men VINO soda drink. drink,
So that he may not stir mp
Their wrath by giving syrup
Entirely inconsistent with wink, wick. wink
-SOmerville Journal.
"Msy I have the honor to conduct your
daughter to the supper table2' asked So
eiety gentleman CT a lady from the country.
May you tsse her to support" was the re-
sponeei "why, OF course, and you can take
me too. That's what We came here for"
Down in Tams County last week a cat was
born with two heads. 1t is lively and heal
| thy, and can yowl with one mouth and waul
with the other If this breed of cats becomes
common it will just set the millennium back
o. out four thousand years.-Barlngton
| Hawkeye.
want to be an ice man
And with the ice stand
On the back stOOp Of the wagon,
An axe In my right hand,
And in the left the steelyards,
All covered up so nice
To lie and cheat like thu der.
And give short weight in ice.
Red Dog, Arizona, is getting civilized. A
/ coroner wss appointed last month, and next
morning he empaneled jury to view tn
most recent corpse. The following was the
verdict: awe, the jury, dooly swore, find
that the diseased KEN ter his deth by Jul
mint off Godd, fer hevin kawled Bill Jaxon
a lier."
jay Gould has Just bought an acre in a
cemetery. Mr.. Gould evidently means to
| give his skeleton a good start.
"Whst is that lying on your deskf" asked
/ Gus de Smith Of a young society business
man, at whose office he happened to bs.
"These are my receipted bills that have
just paid" "Receipted billsl You don't say
! sol" exclaimed Cue, with animation; 'let
me lcok ct them, please. have not seen
anything of the kind in The last i've years
A Chicago reporter undertook TO teach a
LOT Of newBboys at Sunday-school, and
thoug BIT be would "let himself down TO their
level" by using their street lingo. ''rhe les
SOD, ssid no, sis about Joshus-old Josh, as
you'd call him. joe bua was tho boss of =
crowd or people. Did you ever hear o.
Josbua2" "You bet your life We did
yelled the class in chorus "Oh. YOU have.
eh7 That's the proper caper. Well, Joshus
ordered twelve strong men 20 take the Ark
! Of the Covenant Of the Lord and 60 down TO