Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-11-02
5slff Rsaaing
Spoopendyke on Scripture.
A TEXT FROM EXODUS FOUND IN COR
INTHIANS.

my DEAR said Mrs. Spoopendyke
glancing up from the letter she wa
writing, and pressing the nib of th.
pen on her thumb nail to see why il
didn't work any better. Say, my
dear, do you know where to find thai
text, For the unbelieving husband il
sanctified in the vile? ?''
In Exodus, isn't it p replied Mr.
Spoopendyke. 1t sounds like Exodus
Where's the Bible:?'
4 was looking for it today return.
ed Mrs. Spoopendyke, getting up and
preparing for another search. i don't
think it is in Exodus, because it sounds
more like Paul. | think some one
must have stolen the Bible, for l hav.
emit seen it since We came from the
country
That's kind of curious soliloquiz.
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke, arousing himself
to assist in the investigation. i don't
know who would want to steal a Bi-
bic. Don't you remember where you
put it? Think it's 10 here? and Mr..
Spoopendyke upset the bandbox con-
tanning his wife's new hat, and then
made lunge for the fancy coal-scuttle
behind the stove. You had it last,
what did you do with it p
st wouldn't be apt to get in there,
would it? suggested Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. trying to divert her husbands
attention by rattling the vases on the
bureau.
If it's the orthodox Bible, it's liza.
BILE to penetrate anywhere and every.
where" retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke,
abandoning the scuttle and making
dive for the button bag. Strikes
me that Bible is keeping pretty quiet
tipped the butt0ns~~t on the floor
and darted across the room to try
the bureau drawers. BE in q fine
fix if minister should happen to
drop in now and ask for family wor-
ship. Have to tell him to 60 on his
recollection or start new theory OF
his own, and Mr.. Spoopendyke pulled
the shams off the bed and then got
down on his hands and knees to look
under it. 'Tll bet hat it's where /
said it was.'
Where's that, Cear?' asked Mrs.
Spoopendyke, supposing be had found
lit
Tn Exodus, snorted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, wiping the ornaments off the
mantel piece and looking behind the
clock. Cant you remember what l
say from one moment to another? Ii
you had any memory, with your hab-
its of Classification, you'd only need the
coat of arms of all nations and little
more incoherence to be FIRST rate die
tionary! l don't know though con-
tined Mr.. Spoopendyke, ruminating
on this proposition while he tore the
things out Of the wardrobe. 4 don't
know but what you would have to get
new binding and have your sides
marblized. You don't suppose that
Bible got lonely and went off into the
country on its own hook, do you p
I'm sure l don't know, murmured
Mrs. Spoopendyke. 1 can't imagine
how it would do a thing like that. !
think it is only mislaid. Well find
it
We'll, / should remark! replied
Mr.. Spoopendyke, without meaning
the slightest irreverence. There may
be ONLY one small fish or crust of the
bread left, but we'll find what there is
before we 60 to bed! Unless that Bi.
ble's gone to get itself revised there'll
be no sleep in the Spoopendy Ike apart
ments until we lay our hands loving.
ly on that dear family Bible! Maybe
it's hid under the half bushel!' and
he capsized the waste paper basket
and scattered the contents over the
room.
4 don't know but what it is in Exc.
dus,' said Mrs. Spoopendyke, with her
finger in her mouth. Nov l come to
think it over Pm sure it's in Exodus,
SO you needn't look for it any more
Il know it's in Exodus, said Mr..
Spoopenkyke, kicking his wife's work
basket across the floor and turning
the contents over with the toe of his
boot. sBut I'm going to find out
which end of Exodus it is in before
60 to business again! How do you
suppose any. ones to know when we
were married or when the baby was
born or when we died if we don't find
that Bible! Think I'm going through
life without Bible to refer to when
I'm lonely and depressed? Got some
kind of notion because I'm good and
pious that religion comes natural to
me haven't ye? Well, it don't. I've
got to keep posted just as well as any
one else! Where's that Bible?' de-
manded Mr.. Spoopendyke, rising in
wrath as the book seemed to evade his
search. Whats become of the pious
injunctions of my youth How'm
going to be able to tell Solomon's
wives from the rest of the family un.
less / have the book before me?-
Where's my Maccabces and my Zac.
cheus? Where are the friends of my
boyhood p and Mr.. Spoopendyke
Strengthened up in the middle of the
room and glared at his wife as though