The Delaware farmer., 1883-10-26
WIT AND WISDOM.

secret to his breast wore a false shirt.
? bosom.
f DEFECT in manners is usually the de-
? feet Of fine perceptions. Elegance comes
) of no breeding, but of birth.
THOMAS MAST, the caricaturist, gets
riled whenever he is asked if he's of
blood kin to gymnast, the athlete.
"Do you believe in an omen ?" was
once asked Ned Sothern. "Only when
it has a W. before it." was the prompt
reply.
HE that does not know those things
which are of use and necessity for him
to know, is an ignorant man, whatever
he may know besides.
You may be wise enough to be able to
say your prayers backward, but if your
life is not correct you know what you
are, and so do other people.
! Or all the actions of mans life his
marriage does least concern other peo-
pie, yet, of all actions of our life It's
most meddled with by other people.
THE roses of pleasure seldom last Ion4
enough to adorn the brow of him who
plucks them, and they are the only roses
which do not return their sweetness after
they have lost their beauty.
OLD GENT-"Ah, Mrs. B., did you
keep a diary during your visit to
the country?" Mrs. B., Indignantly
''No, sir, I didn't. The family bought
milk from the neighbors.
A TwELvE-YEAR-OLD boy of Franklin,
Penn, burst blood-vessel while blow
ing tin horn, and died in few hours.
If this item is OF no use to you, cut it
out and hand it to your neighbor. or.-LoU-
eU citizen.
A SCIENTIST says that in the moon a
hickory nut falling from a bough would
crash through a man like mimic ball.
That settles it. We shall never go to
he moon to gather hickory nuts
NOTTjStOaCn Herald.
BARBARoUs-"W- H. profess
or Of crinicultural abscission and craini-
illogical tripsis, tonsorial artist, physi-
gnical hair dresser, facial operator.
ranium manipulation, and capillary
bridger."
A PHYSICIAN said jocosely to a police
ian one evening, CT always feel safe
hen I see a policeman in the evening.
0r there is no danger about" {" Yes.
lfer than feel when I have doctor"
as the retort.
"NO, SIR" said the young lawyer
no was paying attention to fair maid
/; emo, sir, I don't like a circuit
'urt. There's no fun in being chased
Ound the house by cross dog before
citing a chance to dive in the front
1or."
81 TELL you, " said the bad boy, con-
lentially, to group of youthful
ends, "my mother may seem small
MT believe she'd weigh more than I
, in her stocking feet-but her slip
RS are heavy, you bet p'
IT is said that Socrates began the study
music only when he was sixty. This
It should be impressed upon the minds
all young ladies who practice the
[aiden's Prayer" long before they are
4ty.
BRIDES, as a rule, find it new and
her unpleasant sensation to accept
ney from their husbands Immediately
II marriage. But an all-wise Provi-
ce provides for such matters, and in
rse of time this feeling gradually
rs away.
AND now the merchant wary
VIII deem it necessary
have an advertisement well displayed,
lyed played,
Within his local paper:
For that's the proper caper VII
'hich to catch the coming autumn trade
de, trade.
BE story is told of Senator ssZeb"
ce, of North Carolina, that soon after
second marriage he remarked to his
e: 'My dear, I'm a stubborn fellow,
you may anticipate trouble. Now.
e beginning, while I am submissive.
mt to give you one piece of advice.
u follow it, we'll get on mighty well.
this: Make me do just as darned
,e."
OR. CAPEL was asked what struck
most forcibly in this country, and
'plied, ''The precociousness of chill
" He saws that vpb;1o =; ID il