Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-06-17
PECK'S BAD BOY.
Ho Wadss lnto the Mysteries Of
Ancient Times,
SEES ELIJAH IN THE CHARIOT
Of Fire and His Sunday School Superinten-
dent on Bicycle 0ashing through
the CIouds-EVe's Fig Leaf
PolonaiSs, etc,

w nat you Sltllng tne[e lOI uaAl au
hour for, staring at vacancy" said the
grocery man to the bad boy, as he sat
on stool by the stove one Of these
foggy mornings, when everybody feels
quarreling, with his fingers clasped
his knee, looking as though he did not
know enough to last him to bed.
"What you thinking abOut any way?"
Al was wondering where you would
have been to-day il Noah had run his
ark into such fog as this, and there
had been no fOg-hOrn on Mount Ararat,
and he had passed by with his exeur-
sion and not made landing, and had
fiOated around on the freshet until all
the animals starved, and the ark had
struck q snag and burst mole in her
bottom. tell you, We all can con-
graduate ourselves that
Noah Happened to BIunder
on to that high ground. If that ark
had been host, either by being founder
ed, or being bowed up by Fenians be-
cause Noah was Englishman, it would
have been cold work trying to populate
this world. In that case another Adam
and Eve would have to be made out of
dirt and water, and they might have
gone wrong again, and PILED to raise
family, and where would We have been.
/ tell you, when | think of the narrow
escapes we have had, it is wonder to
me that We have got along as we'll as
We have"
"Well, when did you out of the asy-
lum," said the grocery man, who had
been standing back with open mouth
looking at tine boy as though he was
crazy. What you want is to have your
head soaked. You are getting 50 you
reach out too far with that small mind
of yours. In about an other year you
will want 10 run this world yourself |
don't think you are reforming very
much. 1t is wicked for boy of your
size to argue about such things. Your
folks better send you to college"
What do i want to go to college for,
and be
A HeRrtleSs Hazer.
and poor base ball player. can be
bad enough at home. The more | read,
the more think | don't believe l
can ever be good enough to 60 to
heaven, anyway, and | guess | will go
into the newspaper business, where
they don't have to be good, and where
they have passes everywhere. Do you
know, think when | was built they
left out cog wheel or something in
my head. can think like some boys
/ get to thinking about Adam and Eve
in the garden OF Eden, and Of the dude
with the clOven hOOf that flirted with
Eve, and treated her and Adam TO the
dried apples, and | can't think of them
aS some boys DO, with q fig leaf polo
naise, and zig leaf vests. imagine
them dressed up in the latest style. |
know il is wrong, but that is what q
poor boy has 10 suffer who has
an imagination, and where did | get
the imagination? This cOnfounded
imagination of mine shows me Adam
with plug hat on, just like the minis
ter wears, and stand up collar, and
tight pants, and peaked tOed shoes
and Eve is pictured to me with a crush
ed-anglewOrm-c OlOred dress, and.
Brown Striped stockings.
and newspapers in her dress to make it
set out, and hat with dandelions on,
and q red parasOl, and lace handker-
chief, which she puts TO her lips and
winks with her left eye to the masher
who is standing by the corner of the
house, in an attitude, while the tail
with the dart on the end is wound
art und the rain water barrel, so Eve
won't see it and get scared. Say, don't
you think it is better for boy think of
them almost naked, exposed to the in-
clemency of the weather, with nothing
but fig leaves pinned on? | want to do
right, a. near as i can, but | had rath
think Cf them dressed like our folks are
to-day, than to think of them in cy-
clone with leaves for wearing apparel.
Say, il is wrong to fight, but don't you
think if Adam had put on pair of
boxing gloves, when he found the
devil was getting too fresh about the
place, and knocked him out in q couple
Of rounds, and
Pasted Him the Nose
and fired him out of the summer gar
den, that it would have been big
thing for this world. Now, hOnest?"
"LOOkahere," said the grocery man,
who had been looking at the boy in
dismay, "Hou better go right home,
and let your ma fix up some warm
drink for you, and put you to bed. You
are all wrOung in your head, and if you
are not attended to you will have brain
fever. l tell you, boy, you are in dan
ger. Come will go home with YOU"
80, danger nothing" | am Just tell
ing how things look to a boy
who has not got the facilities for
being too good in his youth. Some
boys can take things as they read them,
and not think any for themselves, but
i am thinker from Thinkerville, and
my imagination plays the dickens with
me. There is nothing read about
old times but what compare it with
the same line of business at the present
day. Now, when think Of the fisher
men OF Galilee, drawing their seines, /
wonder what they would have done if
there had been law against hauling
seines, as there is in Wisconsin to-day
and can see constable with a war
rant for the arrest of
The Galllee Fishermen,
snatehing the old apostles and taking
them to the police station in 8 patrol
wagon. know it is wrong to think
like that, but how can help it. Say,
suppose those fishermen had been out
hauling their seines, and our minister
should come along with his good clothes
on, his jointed rod, his niekle-plated
reel, and his silk fish line, and his pat
ent fish hook, and put q frog on the
hook and east his line near the Galilee
fisherman and 60 to trolling for bass ?
What do you suppose the lone fisher
men of the Bible times would have
thought about the gall Of the jointed
rod fisherman? Do you suppose they
would have thrown stones in the water
where he was trolling, or would they
have told him there was good trolling
around point about half mile up the
theshore, where they knew he wouldn't
get a bite in week, the way 8 fello Y
at Muskego lake lied to our minister 8
spell ago? tell you, boss, ii Is q sad
thing for a boy TO have an imagination, ("
and the boy put
His Other Knee I'm che Sling
made by the elenehed fingers of both
hands, and waited for the grocery man