The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-11-14

The retail dealer never d:spleases when he
| calls his lady customer Miss" be she young
or old.
If there is any good in man it is bound
to come out; but it should not e2me out at
once and leave the man empty"
'Love's sweetest meanings" says writer.
ARE unspoken." Exactly; no eloGuence can
compare with caramels aud gum drops.
Miss uncertain agel--"I pride myself on
| my DESCENT one of my ancestors came over
| in the Mayfiower." DeSmith-"Was it your
father or mother"
A young man in South Carolina. only 20
years of age, has been engaged nineteen
| times Ii is seldom that youth of his age
has been the hero OF so manynarrow escapes.
Born so: Aunt Lindy-"Fode life o'me, /
| cawn't ,magin why yo's SO little" Winnie
-, What 'diklus question was bon little:
OATS why. Ye thinks | made myself, does
| yer?'-LIFE.
"Phat blessing il is" says Pat slightly
! muddIed, that night niver comes on till late
in the day, when man is all toired out, and
be couldn't work no more, anyhow, at all, at
ali; not even if it was morning"
A member of Club objected to a publca-
ton OF the list of the meeting nights OF the
Club, because" said he'' if it's published,
| we married men will have to account for the
offnightS." The motion to publish was
lost
The Pittsburg Telegraph has discovered
| that the Egyptians of four thousand years
ago drank beer. 1t seems likely that some
antiquarian, in vestigating sarcophagus has
| discovered a piece of slate with numeral
figures upon 1t.
| In Japan women do not conceal their age,
| but make it known by certain styles of wear
ing their hair. In this country no such rule
is necessary. The age OF a woman can gen.
| orally be guessed by the amount of hair her
| husband has left.
The principal idol of the Chinese women is
called the god of the bedstead. which they
! worship religiously. We have known of
American women getting down before the
bedstead in an attitude of devotion, but it
was usually to look for a man underneath.
The queen is going to decorate the Mar
| quis of Lorne with garter. Would not the
| decoration be more imposing if it were vis-
BILE to the naked eye-such as new plug hat
with scarlet plume, for instance? But then
| we suppose the queen understands the deco
ration business better than we do.
At the close of prayer meeting in Con-
necticut recently a deacon invited the
| brethren" to remain to a business meeting,
and then feeling doubtful whether he had
been quite as polite to the ladies as was de-
| sirable, added, There Is no objection to the
female brethren remaining if they wish to-"
In Italy it is customary for three or four
| married women to drag bride to her would
| be husband. She pretends to struggle des-
perately to get away. A wise journalist
points out that il would take all the married
| women in the country to hold back an Amer
can girl who had concluded to enter the con-
jugal state.
! 'Mary !" said a man TO his wife, ''if owned
| a horse like Jay Eye-See would you throw
| your arms around me and kiss me whenever
| he beat the recOrdY' William" she answer
ed, severely there is saw horse next to
1 Il 4 al. h
the best record l will kiss you SO often it
will make your head swim.
The Rev. J. W. Balm of Philadelphia,
preaching in Pittsburg, enumerated the
things not to be found in heaven. There
is no darkness there, no clouds. no sickness,
no graves, funerals, no preachers-"
At this point, seeing a smile ripping over
the congregation, he exclaimed: 81 mean
there is no preaching there
Keeping the conversation: At party the
other evening there was lull in the con-
versation, which made the host, who was in
experienced, somewhat nervous With a
view to relief he asked mournful looking
man if he was married. 40, L am a bach
elor" stiffly replied the Somber man. "Ahw
observed the host. warming up with the sub
ject, 'how long have you been a bachelor?'
There was another lull in the converse tion
One of the anecdotes which we never
really get tired of is told of Theodore Hook.
While writing in London hotel one day he
was disturbed by noisy procession accom-
panied by brass band whats all thatr'
be inquired impatietly. "a temperance pro-
cession." was the answer. What NONSENSE
exclaimed Hook, IL don't make such row
as that when get sober"
The other dag old Dave received tele-
gram from a man down in the country who
wanted him to come down and clean out his
well. After some one had read the dispatch
to the old man he said "De Lawd hab mus
sy on SIGH man as L is Gettin' 'por-
tant cherry day. Cot a letter yestiday, an
now rs dun got 'spatch. Uh huh! When
ia KANT reach me wild a post-otfice da
stretches airter me wild de Telegraph"
The following is Artemus Wards descrp-
ton of why he courted Betsy Jane: There
were many affectin' ties which made me
banker after Betsy Jane. Her fathers farm
jined ourn; their cows and ourn squelched
their thirst at the same spring; our mares
both had stars on their fOreheads; the meas
les broke out in both families at nearly the
same time; our parents Betsy James and
mine) slept regularly every Sunday in the
same meetin' house. and the neighborS used
to observe. How thick the Wards and Peas
leys air 1t was a sublime sight in the spring
OF the year to see our several mothers Bet
svs and mine) with their gowns pinned up
so they couldn't sile 'em, effecktionately
bilin' soap together and aboosin' their neigh
bors"
How glad / am to see you, my dear" ex-
claimed Mrs. d., to the bride of year; ''and
how do you like married liie!" Il am very
happy. but after all, married life is awfully
monOtonous." Indeed 1 never found it So,
mo, perhaps not, but then your husband is
country bred. you came from a city; he is a
blonde, YOU brunette: he is a Christian
and you Jewess " Really, my dear, l do
not understand" Not understand? Can
not YOU see how differently am situated?''
We'll, no." ''Why, my husband and both
came from the same town. Our parents
were as much alike as two families can be.
We are both the same temperament, both
think the sare way, both belong 10 the same
church. aud there is absolutely nothing tor
us to quarrel about"
As Plain Rs Any Woman ne Ever Saw.
Merchant Traveler.l
A not very handsome elderly maiden was
boringa young fellow with some sort of an
explanation or other. and he was crazy TO
talk to pretty girly OH the other side of the
room. Finally she said:
| tsDO / mako plvSalf rlain 9i