St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-07-20
SquibS.

"What Makes the Sun Hot 2" is the
heading of an article in the New York
Tribune. Well, we don't see how it
can help being so, this weather.
Some one says: "No thoroughly
occupied man was ever miserable"
How about the man occupied in fight
ing a dozen hornets which have got
up his trousers
A New York coal dealer has recent
ly committed suicide. 1t is nOticea-
bic that he successfully fought against
remOrse until the close of the season.
n Lowell Citizen.
At Beatrice, Neb., a man was fined
$50 the other day for taking a drink
in court. He didn't offer His Honor
any, and it was called a case of con-
tempt Detroit Free Press.
"What is true bravery asked a
New York paper. 1t is going to the
front door yourself when you don't
know whether the caller is a dear
friend, book agent or man with
bill Philadelphia News.
A collector wrote to General Sher-
man for his autograph and a lock of
his hair, and received in reply "The
man who has been writing my auto
graphs has been discharged, and as
my orderly is bald | cannot comply
with either of your requests"
A Los Angeles rancher has raised
pumpkin so large that his two chill
dren use a half each for cradle.
This may seem very wonderful in the
rural districts, but in this city three
or four full-grown policemen have
been found asleep on single beat
( San Francisco Post.
Down in Tama county, last week,
IA cat was born with two heads. 1t is
lively and healthy, and can yOwl
with one mouth and waul with the
other. If this breed of cats becomes
common it will just set the millen-
mum back about four thousand years.
I Burlington Hawkeye-
"Do you know what bulldozing is ~
asked man of an old farmer. 81
| thought | did" said the granger :;
"but the bull wasn't doing he was
only making believe, and being i'll the
middle of IA forty-acre lot, | naturally
had to make pretty quick time to
reach the fence ahead Of him"
He was looking for the cashier, and
asked the paying teller if Mr.. Blank
was in. "GOne to the Springs" was
the reply in the terse manner and
courteous tones usual to bank, hotel
and various other kinds of clerks.
.EHow much is it :" asked the visitor.
The teller didn't seem to catch on
San Francisco Post.
One of the Seventh Regiment guards
who was on duty at the Peekskill en-
campment one night, was approached
by "A short and stout man in uniform
who walked with his hands placed
upon the base of his stomach. "WhC
goes there 2" called the sentinel, pre-
senting his musket." 81 am der band, y
said the stout man, in mOurnful tone
"Well, have yOu got the cOuntersign 7
the guard inquired. "NO," said the
stout man, sadly, "but haf got del
golic. Blease let me pass till go by
der hospital tent"
In a small town in Kent, all inn
r keeper, to get rid Of a book peddler'i
, opportunities, bought an almanac
from him, and putting it in his pOcke
! left the inn, his wife just then coming
, in to take his place. The woman wal
then persuaded to buy an almanac
, not knowing her husband had one al
! ready The husband shortly return
l ing and discovering the trick, sen
: his porter to the railway station afte
! the peddler, with a message that la
4 wished to see the latter on business
"Oh, yes" said the peddler. al know
He wants one of my almanacs but
4 really can't miss the train for that
! Won rive mo "a chilling and take th1
almanac to him" The porter paiC
the money and carried the third al
a manac to the innkeeper.