The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1883-08-28

-Pennyroyal distributed in places fire.
IAuented by reaches will drive them away.
II. -Inquirer-What is the extreme pen
asty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
"A man may be troubled with the
big head and yet a small hat fits him best.
i ;:-One who knows says that in the
eountry they blow a horn before dinner,
/ bat in town they take one.
i :. 1t makes very little difference how
/ antel napkin is folded. The query with
/ she guest is who used it last?
! "A Newark, Ohio. school teacher
searched boys pocket for tobacco and
tound three pistols and dirk-knife.
i An Irishman, eating his first green
corn, handed the cob TO the waiter and
asked: Will ye plaze put some more
! banes upon me sthick? ?"
1.-The worst about kissing Pittsburgh
j Ntrl is that you carry marks of coal dust
/ shout your nose and other features until
Eou reach the nearest pump.
! l:-Bsware HE who courts and goes
i sway faay 1--we tovo..rt another day; but.
/ he who weds and courts girls still, may
get in court against his will
/ The polite man will never try to help
a girl over barbed wire fence. 1t is
eyer so much nicer to go around the
other way.-N O. Picay,oae
'-"Oh, ma, may l go out to swim P'
| nTwo cold, my darling daughter" Can
go to the matinee with Jim?" "Why,
yes, if you think you oughter"
"A scmnambulistic girl of Rochester
gets out of her bed at night and goes to
saving wood in the back yard. She
anght to have no difficulty in getting q
husband.
=" What is that big spot en- the pave
nnent--is it butter? r?' ooh, no, my son;
tits too young for butter. 1t is the man
whose wife would not let him take off his
winter flannels.'
-"Pa, is it right to call man born in
Poland Pole % OF course nv child"
WELL then, if a man is born in Holland
/ is he hole ?" "Tut, tut! I'll answer no
more of your silly questions"
The diamonds worn by New York
eartenders are said to be worth $3.50. 900.
The Philadelphia -Ve,cs remarks that the
carbuncles worn on the noses of New
York bar patrons probably cost about
$5, 5000, ,OOO
- on are such a strange girl" saIo
Charley; really, don't know what to
make of you" Well, then, Pll tell
you, Charley" replied Arminta; "Make
wife of me-" Charley did so at the
earliest opportunity.
=" Ice cream-one dollar per gal"
"Nell,' said down Easter, as he walked
into the saloon, that's a pretty steep
price for ore gal, but Maria, I'll see you
through, no matter what it costs. Here's
dollar waiter; ice cream for the gal"
The influence of a free press is
mighty, particularly in Cincinnati. There
tie impatient lover no longer expresses
his feelings in the fowery verbage of the
poet, but makes his point with the pre-
eision and directness of rifle shot:
Adored Maria, let's consolidate ?'
The Philadelphia Bulletin having
asked "what books shall we take away
for the summer 2" Robert Burdette sug-
gests that if you are going to Newport
or Long Branch you'd better take a
pocket-book. He adds that one three
feet long and twenty-eight inches wide
will last you whole week.
81 hate to think of you as a dead
i,eat," observed creditor the other day
after vainly dunning citizen who owed
bun small bill. ooh, as to that, don't
hhsitate moment, sir" was the reply.
elf yon only knew what / thought of
|: you, You wouldn't have the least hesita-
ii on in letting yourself loose %
The young lady to whom her lover
ssng Darling Kiss My Tears Away"
vas just leaning out into the moonlight
fer that purpose when No. IL bulldog
happened around the corner. Talk abont
your unkissed kisses - there was a
back yard full Of them when the town
clock struck one - Rochester Post En-
press.
"A foreigner, writing an account of
his travels in England, expatiated in elo-
qleut terms on the high respect shown
there by the young people to their pa
rents. "a son." he alleged, in prook of
bis assertion, "never names his father in
the familiar term common to other coun-
tries, but is careful always to speak of
him under the dignifed title of gov
ernor.'"
=" Seizing the gigantic Indian round
the waist, the brave boy lifted him into
the air and flung him headlong down the
ehasm. Painting, the boy stood and
watched the Indians body fall from crag
10 crag until it disappeared in the dark
ness below. Just at this moment -
Jast at this moment the father of the
boy who was reading this trash came
along, lifted the youngster by the ear,
and in the woodshed matinee that followed
the boy had no thought of fiinging the
old gentleman down chasm. There was
no chasm handy.
-" NJ. Fl. F." formerly Mrs. Burnham,
slle weli-known correspondent, does not
ike Mrs. Langtry. TO evidence what
one woman can say about another, we
quote the following from her last New
York letter: "Mrs. Langtry is q most
remarkable woman. On a fine complex
ion, a good head of hair, a cash of .
mouth, large wholesome teeth, bust as
tat as a. Boston cracker, very ugly arms,
abnormally big hands and feet, wickedly
slender and nubbly-kneed legs, q very
shamble of walk, a violently corsetted
waist. she has established reputation for
l;aauty almost divine"
Huntington Hasokeye: "Your daugh-
ter graduates this month, Mr.. Thistlepod?''
"tYes, she'll be home about the goth,
reckon" Sand your son graduates also ?''
@Oh. veg: he'll come home about the