Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-01-19
OR KALEIDOSCOPE,

| policeman in the streets, they chase him into
the nearest saloon and give him his choice
between ducking and treating the crowd.
Citizens aren't quite 50 eager 10 hold Office
down that way.
whats Billy yclin' about now ; asked
Johnny Dumpsy, as the agonized voice Of
his brother penetrated the family sitting
room. "Oh, mas gone on u whaling cruise,
that's all, explained his sister, spanking a
rag baby till the saw-dust flew all over the
floor.
A country rlilc-club Oilers a target for sale.
1t has been slightly injured by exposure
to the weather, but otherwise is rs good as
new.
a lovc.smashcd young man wrote beau
tiful poem to his fair one, entitled Hanging
over the Gate" and sent il to the village
paper for publication. In a few DAYS the
paper arrived, and, breaking open the patent
outside with hatchet, the FACILITATING swim
looked within. Ies-thcrc was his poem,
but oh heaven the cruel compassion had head
cd it, Hanging over the Goat and the two
last lines read thusly :-"Would that my
soul might melt in thire, Hanging over the
goat"
journal entry for tonight: Friday, Sat
urday, Sunday and Monday, Jan. IL 10.
Have turned over a new leaf Decided not
to keep journal any longer
The Ludlow TfJunt, printing the rio.
gramme of Ladies Aid Society dramatic
entertainment, announces the slai-prizc tenn
perancc defamation of the evening as Grams
Maniac, That compositor had evidently been
lover the garden wall"
The Puiiuns will have 10 takea back seat.
A West Enosburgh Christmas tree committee
refused to distribute some dolls because they
were in nude state. It's about time for thai
church to put stockings on the legs of the
Biblc-stand
"Now, Mr.. Ble,hcrskin, said Mrs. Beth
erskin, ''in this little matter of our, divorce
you know, you will be called upon to testify
in court, to-day, to habitual il-ucatment Il,
my hands"
'Yes 'm'aaid Mr.. Blethcrstin, mcrkly. 81
think can do it, mann
Bat you mus. ut say how i, is done. Mr.
Bletherskin-musn't mention broom or fla
iron, or st1ve-w0od, or anything of that sort
you know =
"Bul-but what sha say was sttucl
with mann"
You needn't mention that You wee ,,rucl
! at all, Mr.. Bc,hcrskin. You may simpl,
state that you have suffered 'rm non-rcci
9 procty and constitutional inability to ress
G rsecuton-undcrstani =
"Ycs'm, said Mr.. Blethcrskn: but h
: looked rs though it didn't quite till IT,
bill.
a The full name Of the new heir to til
= Swedish crown is Oscar Frcdcrck Wiiat
' Olaf Gustsvus Adolphus. Only this an
nothing more.
=. Eva Well of Cincinnati hanged her pc
q dog, and then swall wed dose Of poisc
: and died near the animals dead body Tc
/; bad about the dog, wasn't it:
$ Impure drinking water may he mad
i who.cs mc by boiling it. But You will
u well not to try the process on kerosene oil.
=. The fact that King Kalahaua has ordcre
= from Boston forty cas- OF champ Sl
i wherewth to make merry on the day of l.
coronation has given rise TO the report th,
c the absurd American Gus ON of Offering
&c join the wcarer in "wc,ting' a new hat Ia
&c reached the Sandwich Islands.
q Mary Anderson, the actress, was, it Is sale
l. really mashed on Oscar Wilde. The
e met at a fashionable receipt II in New Yoil
and she became victim. Mar's MANN
IL and papa objected to his calls. Mary, grow
$ self-willcd, met Oscar by appointment
! Long Branch, and spent one whole Ga
A. wandering NJ and down The pehbly s'rar
N with him. This all happened lat SUNNI,
r. if at all.
Al To call huniress los,m friend
If flat irony.
~ A man writes to an ,diJor FOR so "b
cause he is terribly short, and gets a reply
$50 long
Oscar Wilde is about to % to France Til
r. unhappy country's cup of affection is not y
ic full, then, it would appear.
nc \ case If or.blnducss-lhc little rcg
" who didn't see the traverse coming.
Is A ladys dress in New York attracted a
IL tcntion from having eighteen hundred Il
~ mat clied buttons of varying size sewtd up'
Ill it, Ii that's going Il he the style, we Ina
u some old vests which will be very fashio
H. able.
IN a man in New York recently killed hi
III self on the supposition that he was his ov
al mother -in.law, and the coronp's iu
y, brought in verdict of justilahlc homicid
ly There are some very talented men
IL Georgia. A man in that State, we arc tol
an can lift barrel of whiskey and drink fro
i'll the hung. That's no particular evidence
ms talent. There are lots of men in this part
~ ~ the country who wouldnt stop 10 lift the bi
# rel.
a Blolson says woman knows no mo
no about the art of sealing an envelope than
id oyster does about riding a bicycle. He LEFT
n note addressed to one of his lady colrespor
~ ents on his table, the other day, and stcpp
T. nnNn ANN NIEhE ID