Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-06-08
OuR KALEIDOSCOPE.
THE FOXES.

| See the women with the pokes,-
Horrld pokes,-
What world of merlment their ugliness pro-
| vokes
How they wobble, wobbe, wobble
| In the oalmy air Of June,
While the French-heeled beauties hobble
| Andthe envlous turkeys gobble
In hoarse, derislvc rune,
| Keeping time time, time,
In u sort OF jerky rhyme,
To the hop and bobblng motion that the minclns
gait invokes
From the pokes, pokes pokes, pokes,
Pokes,.pokes, pokes,
| From the bobblng and the webbing Of the pokes
A yolkfellow-a chicken.
Did you ever hear soap bubble?
The early suicide takes the lead.
A soft answcr-''Ycs-on the check"
The Massachusetts, equation - b. B.
LLDAX
Maine Indians pitch their tents to make
them waterproof.
What does the belle do when she gets en-
gagged ? She rings her hands.
German scientist says that sound is al
ways accompanied by u sensation of color
That accounts forour seeing a.blood-rcd boot
jack every time a cat yaouls.
Why should every sea-going man have
more than one wife Because his is n pcrpc-
tual marry-timc existence.
little boy at the foot of the spelling
class, to whom the word bunion" came,
probably did not realize its appropriateness.
The young man who came up into our
sanctum with fourteen yards of June poetry,
and woke up the fighting editor while unrol-
ling it, had good occasion to..mistrust the say
ing that - there is safety in numbers"
An awful bad boy took hardware mans
sign, drag Teeth" and went and put it up
over dentists door, And yet they say the
Yankee boy is dying out
A head fell into barrel, in front of one of
our grocery stores, the other day. 1t was q
small boys head. lie was reaching after a
cucumber.
Who is that Thin, Sad MANS he an Edi-
tor! On no, my son the Editor is Fat and
Strong The Man you see was Married when
he was Nineteen years old
Hartford, Conn, boasts of the earliest ap-
pcarance of Northern mosquitoes. That's
one thing to be grateful for.
A Massachusetts man has given Williams
College cranberry patch. This, with the
poultry roosts in the vicinity, will enable the
professors to provide their own Thanksgv-
ing dinners at minimum expense.
Rev. Mr.. Talmage says that we want fewe
rhetorical Celebrations and fewer sesquipedal
ian words in the pulpit. zee, yes-that's so
Whcw
Mrs. Lucy Hooper promises the metropo
Titan papers new series of letters from
Paris. Hooper up, Lucy.
Somebody says that there is haunted
coal-bin in town. A viewess spirit of tn
air occupies ours, at any rate. It's empty.
A subscriber to religious paper sends i
the following ambiguous compliment "Con
tinue my paper. 1t is a fertilizer to my soul.
The summer poet now clears his wlndpipe
and proceeds to MARBLE about the "summe
bower" But the average citizen doesn't car
whether it's summer or winter, so long as il
the right bower.
A Syracuse cow was run over by a raj
! road train, and left uniujured. AS she wa
just approaching the age when the avcrag
rural COW goes to market, this result will nc
appear at all astonishing. The wonder
that the train wasn't hurt.
"Live for something-bc not idle" sing
the poet. Exactly. We arc living on tn
suppostion that good looking girl, with
deuccdly tedious bank-account, is patcntl
engaged in searching us out and mcar
/. while, that We may not be idle, we are eli
gagged with equal assiduity in searching fc
her.
: A French Investigator finds that In propo
ton to its size, u bee can pull thirty times {
much weight as horse. We never though
!. q good healthy hornet was particular
j strong, but he certainly has the faculty of ei
abling man to get over the ground with r.
i markablc expedition.
u There are 1000 species of fish known
q men of science. The man of science mu
!. be blamed sight luclier than the averai
Il fisherman.
The legal distance between church al
q saloon in Kentucky is one mile. 1t will
}. a long walk out into the country for churc
% goers.
RI Marriage with some people is only bea
Il knot. With others it is as hard to unite as
10 shoe-string
Il We suppose that women, like cows, we
l. "pokes" so that they can't jump the fen
of propriety. uglness isa good prott
ton.
W. We took our first boxing lesson the 9th
day. We measured strawberry box with
quart of saw dust and split so much Of it tt
our fighting editor is going to use the sar
tum this evening for cockpit.
The Car tasted three days before I
coronation ceremonies. He knew he wor
have to dodge around pretty lively, a
wanted to be in condition.
There is some satisfaction in thinking Il
green apples will begin to form in about thu
weeks for then, you know. some lit