The Portland daily press., 1883-02-12

world, expecting to find repose and peace in
the quiet of the domestic nest, instead OF
which discover you in the midst OF riot and
dissipation. Madam, insult not my penetra-
ton by denying It'll affirm that you are hav-
Mrs. Biddy (apprehensively) -"Not at all
my dear; at leas5, that is, my friends we're lust
going by, and stopped in quite accidently, and
so, for You see' my dear, I've laid an egg-cut,
cut, cut'a-a-c-that is, at least, yes, sir, we've
laid an egg!"
Three female neighbors simultaneously
"Cnt, cut, cut. cut-a-a-a-cuti
.; q. Esq. Enthusiastically Peace hensl
Madam what does all this caekling folly
(Exeunt hens in indignation)
MRS. b. o., 1T has become necessary at this
stage Of cur matrimonial career, that should
state, in mild, but unmistakable terms, my
opinions regarding the appropriate sphere and
duties of henhood'.-
First, self-devotion-It has been the decision
of all roosteE-kind for ages and therefore cam
not be denied, that the crowning virtue OF the
hen character is dsinterestedness, A true hen
should be patient, self-forgetful, obedient, ten
derry solicitous of her husbands little wants,
delightiDg wholly and solely in the graceful
and pleasant duties that cluster round the de-
mestic nest On the contrary, find you think
ing only how TO crafty your own selfish tastes
and desires instead of displaying las might
naturally be expected) some little sence Of lone
illness and melancholy at your husbands abb
sense; return from visit of nearly II hours,
and find you literally rejoicing! Madam, ask
you, is this true henhood?
'Second-A retiring position, delicate
shrinking from contact with the coarse and
unsympathizipg world, an exclusive indiffer-
ence to all without the sacred circle of the do
mestic nest. On the contrary, find you gad-
ding among the other hens of the yard making
appointments, sending invitations. Again. ]
ask Of you madam, is this true henhood?
Ihird-Freedom from curiosity, a true hen
never eyinces the slightest interest in the At.
fairs of her neighbors, scarcely in her own; she
never inquiries concerning the whereabouts oil
actions OF her husband, being perfectly assured
that, wherever he be, and however appear
anees at times may tell against him, he is ever
acting with view to the welfare of the domes
tic nest.
@ Qn4he contrary !, what do. T. hnd To- be Abe
truth in regard to yourself? Not rooster
raises his voice within half mile of the yard
pnt you are able to name him; not hen lay
| an egg but you begin to cackle."
Mrs. Biddy, (meekly)-"Pve laid an egg
| laid an egg
Q. O.. Esq. with solemn animation)-
.,io ye laid an egg And pray, where is thu
thing Walks briskly to the nest and take
microscopic view of the object.]
Cut, cut, mean will it do sir?'
q. o., Esq, "Hnmph-well, yes; very fair
considering; though now | look more closly,
perceive that it is not precisely shaped; TOT
short, madam, too short; not well finished of
| by any means. And what do you mean
| madam, by having the thing SO much larger a
| one end than the other? Where, l ask, is YOU
| idea of symmetry? Zoundsl Madam, if thi
is the best you can do in that department,
| shall lay the next myself
Mrs. Bid dy-(with her claw in her eye)-
PLEASE, l couldn't help it, 1 didn't mea
o. c., Esq, (mollifed) -"well, well, dom
fret your gizzard. You're no chicken, mad
| am, to be so sensitive about trife; only re
member my advice in future, and, above all
| recollect that the browning virtue of henhoo,
! is disinterestedness.
Mrs, Biddy, (meeklyl-"Have worm
| dear?"
O. G., Esq. tsolemnly) III will
| SCENE III.
Mrs. Biddy C. has been setting for three weeks
O. c.. ESQ, appears in the distance parting wit
| one of his numerous female friends; the tones q
his voice fall family on Mrs. Biddy's earl
0. c., Esq.-"And now, sweetest of hens
| farewell, and may all the stars of heaveen an
all the saints of the barn yard, meet to registe
weary life, and made me the happiest Of roos
| ters. Farewell"
0. G. winds his homeward way 1000
evening, jack monstrous fine hen, thai
just been parting from her. Or may be 20
d1d not notice her line points. Quite fond &
me, too, assure you. Still ia tears, you wi
observe-aheml Cock-a-doodle-dooi"
10. @. reaches the domestic nest1
Mrs Biddy Qeebly)-"Oh, I'm SO glad /
have somebody to speak to- I haven't steppe
| off the nest or seen a creature since sunrise
How do you do, my dear? Anything new e
ing on in the yard?"
a long pause. 9. O., Esq, appears to be sue
| gloom.l
Mrs. Biddy-"What's the matter, sir?',
20. G. lin terrible voice, and walking lik
OthelIo)-" Natter madame, behold" LIN
seris his bill under his left wing and produce
| ROSTERS tail feather. Do you recogHiz
that madame? Do you acknowledge an az
quaintance with the chicken-hearted caitii
| who dropped it? Are you aware that / foun
| it within three feet of the domestic nest?''
Mrs. Biddy Qanguidlg) you? didn'
Q. G., Esq.-..Peace, hen, and listenl Will
r apon your mimi the enermiJy or yeur eonauU
Has it not been decided, ask, you. madam
has 1t not been the opinion OF rooster kind +,
ages, and is it not therefore undeniable tina
after dislnteTestedness the one thing need full
the female character is excessive moGesty?
true hen is SO strictly and severely virtuou
that the slightest attempt at intimacy frol
one OF an improper SEX though disguised b
meath the speciouS mask of friendship will &,
cite IN her breast the EXTREMIST aversion an
horror. On the contrary, what do find to b
the case in regard to yourself? Only yeste
day, on returning Unexpectedly from a littl
party beheid yon in animated conversatio
with my brotherl Heavens! madame, am
to be longer the victim of such dupicity? M
sooner would sacrifice at once the domesti
nest, and fling thy lifeless body-Oh, Oh
misery, violence. revenge 'Frailty, thy nam
| is heni'
Mrs. Biddy gets fdgety on her nest. so,
dear me, I'm so tired y
silence for half an hourl
Mrs. B. lin gentle deprecation): "My dea
do you think you would mind looking to IN
nest minute, while | run and pick nm som,
thing? haven't taken a moutEful tc.day.',
o. u, Esq. (starting up in doubtl-"Madan
nave heard you Alright? Do | understan
that you have distinctly offered to shift nno
your husband the little duties of the domesti
nest? Are you going to step from your sphere
madam? DO you mean to be hens right
hen hen, madam? Have I not again an
again impressed upon your mind that femal
| self1shness alone is at the bottom of these i'm
plous doctrines? And what, on the contrary
according to the decision of all rooster kin,
| should be the real pride and ambition of her
noodY Dislnterestedness; true hen glorifie
| IN little crosses and trials; for, without temr
tatIons, she perceives that there can be no vii
tue; without trials no patience; without
affection, no resignation, which is SO lovely ii
| the female character. A true hen, stuat
| ed as you are, would not only rejoice tina
| providence had seen fit to perfect her wit
trials, but, with that beautiful self-abnegatio
| which can never be too strenuousy inculca
ted by rooster-kind, would set herself to plan
ming new sacrifices. Isay true hen, in You
| situation, instead of sneaking from her it'll
| duties, would contrive some plan (if only b,
reaching out her head and picking the earti
around herr for supplying her husbands littl,
wants"
| Mrs Biddv (meeklvl-"Hava a xyorr,
| dear?"
o. c., Esq, (solemnly)-"I will