The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
4 BLIND TINE TABLE.

MY dear, said Mr. SpOOpendyke,
running his thumbdown the list of towns
on the time table and glaring helplessly
at the columns of figures, "ny dear, the
man must have given me the wrong
business. We can never get anywhere
with this
% Let's see, y murmured Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, laying her. hand on his arm
and drawing the time table toward her
" There's Boston Ey. and Albany Ar.
$50 to 2:40. That's plain enough"
!" 1t is, is it?' snorted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, abandoning the table and bending
his eyes on his wife. "Think that
plain enough, dosye? Show me how
you make it. If you've got this thing
by the tail wiggle it once for. my infor-
nation
Why battered Mrs. Spoopendyke,
" you just add ''em together. Oughts
ought !; four and, three's seven eight
and two's ten; put down the ought and
carry"
Garry swill to the hogs ?" roared
Mr.. Spoopendyke, surveying his wife
with marked disapprobation. "That's
about as much as We know how to do,
any way What's Boston got to do
with it? What interest has Lv. and Ar.
got in this thing? Got some kind of a
notion that they; own the road, haven't
We? Pr'aps We think ones tunnel and
the others a bridge. Well, they amt,
and they're not half-baked females who
don't know a time table from dog law !!
Now, you let me figure this thing if you
don't want to spend the balance of your
life on the road p s1
Certainly, DEAR" cooed Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, nesting up to her husband and
glancing around the car to see if he had
been overheard. You can make it cut
if anybody cam -.
"Now, we started from New York at
1870 A. NJ continued Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, "and we get to Buffalo at 12:15
A. M. Then, according to this, we leave
Buffalo at 1885 and .12:40 for Chicago.
What I want to know is why we leave
Buffalo twice."
!" suppose it's to make sure of get
ting away from there" suggested Mrs.
Spoopendyke, fastening her thumb and
fore finger on the margin of the time
table with a. death grip. Maybe the
engine leaves at 1886 and the last car at
12:4O,".' she added, as the new explana-
ton occurred to her. "Anyhow, it is
better to get away, from there twice than
stay there !. altogether don't you think
50, dear?" and she looked at him con-
"S'pose anybody along the line of this
road knows What you're talking about ?"
snarled Mr.. Spoopendyke, hauling at
his end ofthe tables "Let go, will ye?
Engine leaves at 1888! Last car leaves
at 1910! That's the idea 1t took you
to hit it When get time to fit You
up with cow catcher and schedule of
cut rates I'm going to start an opposi-
ton road with you! Now, you let this
thing alone, I tell we !"
"Thcre it is p exclaimed Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, flushed with another discovery.
I've got it'now! You see, we arrive
1T Chicago twice-at 7:4O and 7:4O|
again. Look at it there Of course,
we've got to-leave Buffalo twice to get to
Chicago twice p and Mrs. Spoopendyke
settled herself back and regarded the
table with much complacency.
ooh, you've got it n roared Mr..
5poopendyke. That explains it ! This
railroad is twins? Leaves everywhere
twice and gets everywhere twice! No
body would ever have found it out but
you All you want now is misplaced
switch and coroners inquest to be a
through trunk line Can't you see that
it's two different trains that get in there
at 7:4O? S'pose they only run one train
on this dod-gasted road? Got a notion
that the same. train goes both ways at
the same time? I know all about get
ting there as well as you do, but what l
want to know is how this measly train
leaves Buffalo twice Got it now? Think
you've fathomed my design on this time
table %
Perhaps there are two different trains
out of Buffalo?" hazarded Mrs. Spoop-
endyke.
Mr.. Spoopendyke deliberately tore the
time table into a thousand pieces,
dropped them carefully under the seat,
buried his hands in his pockets, and
glared out Of the window.
IT don't care" soliloquized Mrs.
Spoopendyke, There can't two trains
arrive anywhere without leaving some
place, and, anyway, | suppose we'd get
to Chicago just as well if we didn't I'M
derstand about this Buffalo affair.".
With which consoling. reflection Mrs.
Spoopendyke settled herself: in her seat
and gaveherseR up to. considering how
that girl ON the other side of the aisle
would act ifshe knew how much her
laughinga nd loud talking with her es-
cort offended the more tuous-minded
Of her sex.-staa1ey Hunt1eg5 IN Tr0eelers'
lIdgdSiaUe. -. =.
--------~--ls~
We do not propose to be responsible
for this story, but will tell it nevertheless,
because it is too good to keep. A GER
S,o x,aIt,,or Ia nh n 1,yoc n 10 ~ 1rs od