davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02
A SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN.

A correspondent of southern paper says the old-time southern gentleman is dead This is mistake. He is situated pretty much on his last legs, bur he is not dead. In some few instances he scorns the idea of rapidly advancing civ- ilization, and looks upon traffic as below a true mans tastes but as rule he has relinquished his former ideas of civiliza- ton, supplanted them with ideas of pro gross, and struggles to keep up with the crowd. It is almost comieal to see him hobbling along in the race, and to see him jostled by the brusque man of ,o- day; but he scrambles along without taking mortal offense. His hair-trigger dueling-pistols are resting. His grand children play around the house with them and gleefully point them at the cat. Sometimes the dog runs around the house with the pistol that killed major, tied to his tail.
 The negro who cleaned out his stables is now a prosperous business man. and his body-serant, the tall yellow fellow who dressed so neatly, was hung some time ago.
 The vines still cling in their wonted fondness around the caves of his city man. sion, but his plantation down the river has been divided into small farms, which are owned by his former slaves. The white man who once acted as overseer, took place as mate on steamboat, after the war, but unfortunately stole something and was sent to the peniten- tiay. Some of his former slaves arc practicing law; others are professional juymen, who delight to sit in a court. house and draw county scrip in payment. The old-time southern gentleman has lived through a revolution from which few countries could so soon recover. Upon the ruins of cherished institutions. devoted to anxiety of father and in- dulgcnce of son, he has erected the newly constructed temple of enterprise. He deserves more credit for present accepta- ton of things that are, than censure for things that were. His sons were sent away from home to receive education. and returned home to lead an aimless life of ease. His grand-sons are edu- ca,ed in the neighboring schools, and graduate to become useful citizens.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02
WHAT STRUCK THEM.

Proctor Knott will be the next governor of Kentucky. This is a position which he " long has sought and mourned be- cause he found it not" bu, his wailings will now cease, for the great pardoning power of Kentucky will soon be vested in him. During the recent convention a, Louisville, while the merits of the candi- dates were under discussion. an old far mer who was not quite satisfied with Knott, said to his neighbor: "Wha, has he ever done that we should lift him SO many pints :" Whats he done? 7" the neighbor replied. What haint he done: that's the question. He made a speech at Duluth that made the har stand on the heads of the radicals ' "Whar is Duluth :" asked the uncertain man. "Oh d-d Duluth, but Proctor was thar. Then agln. he can tell the bes, yarn of any man in the country, and as little as has been said abou, it he is IS good icdge of hoss flesh as ever seed" "That settles it" the other replied, flor ledgo,eHi in regard to hoss flesh is the pin, was gi,,in at. I'll fling my in fiuence in his favor" During an ex- citing time of the proceedings, Governor Blackburn arose and attempted to ex- plain why he pardoned so many convic,s. One man was set at liberty on account of his wife. The convention received the information with misses. Another v continued the governor, was pardoued because did no, think that he could live but few weeks longer. His father begged that his son nigh, die under the old roof, and pardoned him." The convention roared with indignation. An other one,' continued the governor. deserved 10 be pardoned. He was put in for stealing fine horse, and thought that man who was so good a judge of horse flesh should be at liberty and tha, il would be unjust to his community to keep him in prison The convention cheered in enthusiastic approval.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02

stairs immediately after eating three muf- fins, the half of mackeral for breakfast, to make her little arrangements for the jouney3 She stopped on the stairs where the sunlight sifted through the haze woven curtain, took Paul's picture from her pocket, gazed upon it and sneczed. She sneezed three times, but was disap- pointed in the fourth. She entered the little room where she had passed so many lonely hours. A leather lay on the car pet, and about four inches and a half from the feather, lay an almond shell. The window was open and the green
 bows of the oak anon thrust a leafy nod
 into the chamber. An ant crawled on
 the window sill and stopped when he ran against a broken match. Melvina, the servant, entered the room with dust pan and broom. Have you counted out the wash Lucy asked. 'Yessum, the faith full servant replied. sWell,' Lucy con- tinued, half to herself and halt to any one else that might chance to hear, T am going down stairs and she gaped. On her way down she gaped again. T won- der what makes me gape,' she unused. She gaped again. T believe I'm going to have chill She shivered. She lay on the lounge and shook Melvina came down stairs, and said, Chill day, l see, : Lucy said, 'V-o-o-o.' She shook for one hour and eight minutes. Then the fever came on. Heigho, she said"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02

THE cable dispatch announcing the hang ing of Curley, says the body fell with n sharp swish.' That beats n dull thud out of sight. sharp swish IS more to the point FtsS, Saa.
 Yes, much better than the dull thud. In Arkansaw few days ago, a murderer positevely refused to be hanged unless a reporter who was present agreed not to say that the doomed mans body fell with dull thud.' The sheriff promised that the thua should not be employed, and requested the reporter to give the victim an idea of what he was going to say: "I can't tell, tkc reporter replied until after see the performance. If it were possible for the gentleman to appreciate piece of writing after hanging I'd willingly submit my report to him. but as it is, I am afraid l cannot accommodate him. The report read: Doomed man showed no signs of fear, and he ascended the scaffold fear lessly and took his stand on the trap. The trap was sprung at 70 minutes to one and the doomed man fell with dull ,hud and dangled between heaven and earth" !" The sharp swish ]" is better than the dull thud.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02

TIE Rev. ]. E. Williams, during meeting of the synod of the Reformed Presbyterian church of North America. which recently met at Pistsburg, read a paper. the Signs of the Times" He claimed that epidemics, fires and floods were special visitations to punish people for their wickedness and suggested days of fasting and prayer. Such remarks had they been uttered hundred years ago, would have met with general approval. bu, to-day, when the world is better and wiser than it ever was before, such ut ,erences are justly regarded IS the nut terings of supcrs,itious fool. Mir. Williams no doub, thinks that the grea, ruler commanded yellow fever to visit cities and destroy good men and helpless women and children. In his opinion. the ruler of worlds instructed cyclone to blow houses away and kill little chii- dren. A man who is so ignoran, should not be allowed to preach. An asylum would be more betitting place for his insane bowling.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02
A GOOD WORK.

Twenty years ago." said man to a minister, who had just preached sermon and come down among the congregation to receive warm words of praise, Il heard you preach ?"
 Did you:''
 "les. sir. was quite ayoungs,er then. but yoar burning words sank deep into my heart. l, was the turning point in my life. for previous 10 that time had given my father. who was sheriff of the county. more trouble than any other mis- crean, within the boundary of his juris- diotion. Nes. sir, that was the turning po.n, in my life
 Tell me abou, i;.- the minister said. in that manner of eager solicitation which charac,erires a man who is on the verge of hearing something greatly to his credit.
 Well. wasn't feeling very well when went to church that night. for despise my gay and careless nature. was con- scious of the fact that l was a sinner, and that had done wrong in stealing old man iaglin's mule. rode the mule to meeting ,ha, night. and hitehed him ou,
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02
DRANK A TEAR.

Boys, won't drink lessen you take what do," said old Josh Spillit in reply to an invitation. He was a toper of long standing and abundant capacity, and the boys looked at him in astonishment.
 The idea" one of them replied, that you should prescribe conditions, is Imaginable. Perhaps you wan, to force one of your abominable mixtures on us. You are the chief of the mixed drinkers, and l won't agree to your conditions"
 He wants to run us in on castor oil and brandy said the judge, who would willingly have taken the oil to get the brandy.
 No. I'm square, replied Spilli,. Take my drink and I'm with you.'
 The boys agreed, and stood along the bar. Every one turned to Sp.llit and re- aarded him with interest
 Mir. Bartender,' said Spillit, give me glass of water"
 What, wa,er." the boys exclaimed.
 Yes. water. It's new drink on me, l admit, and 1 expeet it's a scarce article with all of you. l.emme tell you how came to take it.: Several days ago as passel of us went fishing. and we took fine chance of whiskey along, an had a heep of fun. Long toward evenin' got powerful drunk. an crawled under a tree an went to sleep. The boys drunk up all the whisky an came back to town. They thought it a good joke cause they'd left me out thar drunk an told it around town with mighty buster. My son got ! hold of the report an told i, a, home. We'll, laid under that tree all night an when woke in the mornin'. thar sot my wife righ, thar by me. She didn't say a word when woke up, but she sorter turned her head away. got up an looked at her. She still didn't say bu, could see tha, she was chokin'.
 "'I wish had suthin ter drink s'l.
 Then she tuck cup what she fotch with her an went down to whar a spring piled up an dipped up cupful an fotch i, to me. les as she was handin' it ter me. she leaned over ter hide her eyes an l seed a tear drap in the water. tuck the cup an drunk the water an the tear. an rasin' my hands vowed that would never halter drink my wife's tears agin that had been drinkin them for the last twenty years, an that was goin' to stop. You boys know who it was that left me drunk. You was all in the gang. Give me another glass of water. Mr. Bar tenderr
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02
DE NAIxT LADY.

Al negro baptizing, the other day, slim preacher took fat sister down into the murky waters of bayou. Just as he dipped her under the water, she slippe,i from his grasp, and glided under the root of large cypress tree, from which sad entanglement l, was impossible to ex,r- cate her until life was extinct. The preacher. without the slightcs, show of embarrassment, raised his hands, and turning to the crowd on the bank, ex. claimed:
 De Lawd gibbeth ar de Lawd ,aketh away an blessed be de name ob de Lawd.'
 :" Oats all right, so fur as de Lawd's consumed" replied the drowned woman's $ husband, but what's gwineter do? | ain't got no 'jection ter de Lawd takin' her away, ef he 'vides me wid anuder wife bout de same size"
 De Lawd knows His own business Y said the preacher.
 "Bu, dat ain't de pint" persisted the husband. Il wants wife, an wants her righ, hcaB. Ierse'f tuck dat oman inter dat water, an rse gwine,er hole yersef 'sponsible. I'll gin yer ten minits ter git me wife, an ef at de eend ob dat time yer ain't dun made de 'rangements. I'll maui Yer i'll yev rouldnt h,D,;,. , cat. Does yer hcah '"
 The preacher reflected moment, and addressing a sister, said: Sister Kate. ter keep down 'sserbance. won, yerse'f marry de genleman:'
 The sister agreed that immediate matr mony was somewhat in her line. and then the grief stricken husband. turn ing to the preacher. exclaimed: De settlement am satisfactory, bruder. Souse de naiN, lady,
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02

in the bushes, and when you began to warm up to your work, l vowed that after preaching Id turn the animal loose and let him go home, but l didn't turn him loose, and that's what caused the reforma- ton. mounted the mule a repentant, sorrowful man, and suaigh,way rode to Jsglin's house. The old man was gone 10 bed, and decided not to awake him. 1 would surprise him by turning the mule in the lot. opened the gate. A fine young horse dashed up, squealed and kicked at me. Now, never could stand to be kicked al. A horse may back his ears at me and squeal, or he may snap at me when gin the saddle, bu, blamed if he must kick at me. We'll, l turned the mule loose, and sauntered around awhile. You've seen men santer, haven't you:
 The minister, in a nervous and crest fallen way, acknowledged that he had seen men sanser."
 Well, 1 sartered awhile, debating with myself, when the young horse squealed and licked at me again. couldn't stand any longer. and caught him, put the brdle and saddle on him, and rode away. Next day was arrested. Soon afterwards was tried and sen- fenced to tenn of seven years in the peni,entiary. While there my associa- tions were very good. Some of the most prominent men in Arkansaw were my daily companiots, and when came ou, l was thoroughly reformed. Hold on, don't leave, for lpu were really the cause of the reforma,bn, for if hadn't taken the mule back wouldn't have stolen the horse'
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02

COLONEL GALLOWAY, of the Memphis .4bbeai, and the Hon. Mir. Chalmers, of Mississippi, have not, up to this writing, met on the field of honor. The days of chivaiy are shivered, and the "long ago" " gentleman, who chung to the code, must again bow his frosty head and moan over the oountry's degeneration. Civil ization has taken too firm hold on the south to countenance the freak of an inn pe,uoais fool who seeks to win reputa- ton by taking human life. The duelist is little better than murderer, for in his case there are all the elements of pre- meditated slaughter.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02
Cromwell and the Boy.
Glasgow Herald.


 There IS no doubt but that Oliver Cromwell. the protector, resided for d time in Glasgow. about the year I6sS. He had his dwelling m Silvercraigs street. on the eas, side of the Salt market. opposite the Bridgegate. \ number of strange stories fingered in the last century and the beginning of the present as 10 the sayings and doings of Oliver. IL was said ,ha, he was in ire quent communication with one of the city ciergymen. and had many a tough argument as to the respective advantages and merits of presbyterianis.n oontrasted with independency. or as they were al the time called. separate secretaries. The clergyman who had the fcrtitude to meet the protector in dispute was said 10 be Mir. Patrick Gillespie. then minister of Outer Highkirk. The protector main taihed that under the system then pre- vailing m Scotland the lower classes were iefi ignorant of scripture truth. To test the accuracy of this. one day the protec- tor and his ministerial friend took their position in the old Saracen inn, at the east of Gallowgate. II was agreed tha, one of the many lads who drove little >"sANS 'oN~h "aAh N0<2tS tpi tiC SuppiN Of the citizens from the coal fields ofMonk- lands should be called in. unprepared. and the protector should put any ques- ton to the carter lad from the scriptures. The lad was brought in. and the question pu, was. :. Tell me who was the father of Adams" Promptly the carter referred to the third chapter of Luke's gospel. and beginning al the twenty-third verse, he proceeded, From the son of Joseph. which was the son of Eeli." up each sue cessive link until he reached the climax al the thirty-eighth verse. which was the son of Seth, which was the son of Adam. which was the son of God- Oliver was struck at the accurate memory of the lad. and rewarding him with golden piece, begged him 10 become in his turn the inserrogator. He asked: Since have thus answered your questions. would yon be pleased to answer mine. |, IS one not so ancient: t IS only. tell me who was my father = The protector was somewhat overcome with ire. which was still intensified shen, on inquiry a, mine host at the Saracen's Head. he was in- formed that the carter was a foundling from the Monklands. and that his par en,age was hid under a veil of in,pene- ,rable obscurity
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02

TIE other night man drove around the square, in Franklin, Kentucky, firing ! pistol at every turn. "Why don't you arrest him :' Il bystander asked of an of- hcer "oh, he's pretty good fellow" " But why do you allow him to fire pis- ,ois: He might hi, somebody" "Oh, he's a first rate fellow." Aren't you afraid hell kill somebody 2" "Oh, he's ore of the bes. fellows in the county, and let me give you pointer. It would take devilish good fellow to arrest him." There may be something in the thought that you arc shot by good fellow Great many good fellows in Kentucky.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02

GENEROSITY is unknown 10 politics. \ few weeks ago, after the removal of |. T. Brown from the marshalship of the eastern district of Arkansaw. lively fight sprang up in regard to the appointment of his successor. The chances seemed 10 favor ex-sheritf w. $. Oliver, the man upon whsm republican organization in Arkansaw has for years depended. He was endorsed heartily by Grant, Logan and other influential men, and his failure to secure the appointment occasioned no little surprise. The cause is now made public. olivc,'s enemies, good republi- cans, telegraphed to Washington, stating that his accounts as sheriff were not straight and that he would be indicted. Brewster Cameron, Oliver states, was very active in the cause, having came here and sent telegram to Washington 10 the effect that the indictments would be found. Oliver was indicted, on a very poor pretense, and afer numerous delays, during which he urged inves,i- gation, the trial came off resulting in an honorable vindication. If the proceedings were instituted merely to defeat Oliver, we must say, viewing the situation from non-parsisan and disinterested stand point, that the method was a very dis honorable piece of work.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02
NEW FICTION.

Realism is the great aim of the modern novelist. No conversation is too trivial, no occurrence too unimporsant to find a place in to-day's fiction. The novelist tells how the heroine puts up her hair, how she ties her shoe, and gives q pretty fair estimate of how much she eats at breakfast. This is carrying fiction to an uninteresting extreme. It infuses actual monotony into what should be an enter tainment. The following from an ad- vance proof sheet, of a forthcoming novel is a fair sample: "Lucy went up
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02

IT is said that Mir Beecher's old time friends are leaving him on account of opinions expressed by the great man. Let them go, Mir. Beecher. The man who would leave you because you are sincere is very poor friend. He has been your friend because he was not true. We hope this advice will reach you before you are tempted to do anything rash. Go ahead and talk intelligence in- stead of emotional insanity, and although you may not be such a hero among stylish women, you will stand better with men and always be able to get enough to
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT.

Old Colonel Jackli. an able lawyer. bu, who is known allover .irkansaw as the slowest man in tlt state. was making labored speech the ther day, when the judge said:
 Hold on a minute colonel. Did it occur to you that yd are tho slowest speaker m the countri"
 Il know I'm mighty low, your honor"
 Why don't you Ike advantage of it?n
 How!"
 Go 10 Washington td engage in the star route trials
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02

THE Cewiey- /o1rng has been se- verely criticised becate it spoke of the shotgun as mutescn,inel of the fireside, guarding the onor of home. The sentiment IS trudpne, regardless of criticism. The arguient of the shot gun IS powerful and its ifuenee, though not delicate and possiblNo, refined, is immediate. The burlN brute has a respect for the house thaholds the shot, gun. and gives il wide1 birth than he would the library of the preme court.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02
DESERTED PuLPrTs.

nS NCW fotA obW PuDuoiCS thG aiai AH- ing intelligence that a preacher famine has at last visited this cou-sry. To say that such a calamity was anticipated would be folly, tor the preacher crop has ever been noted for its abundant yield. In the seasons when potatoes have failed, and when the fruit has been greatly dam aged by frost, the preacher crop showed no signs of blight. The cut-worm and Hessian fly, the beetle and the grasshop- per, left unmolested the field of growing preachers, but now a kind of re- ligious drouth, a great need of shekel rain has damaged the crop beyond the hope of anything like half the average yield. It is shown that over two thousand pulpits are left unified. This is quite alarming, when we take into considera- ton the fact that, in the opinion of the orthodox thinkers, the world is every day growing worse. Thelogy has become a business. A great many men go into the ministry to earn a living. Their principle is, talk to the soul and receive from the body. When the church fails to be remunerative, they naturally look for other employment. The idea once pre- vailed that a man was directly called to preach that the gospel was without money and without price, meaning that a man should receive nothing for his labor. This worked very well in agricultural communities, where the minister plowed during the week and preached on Sunday, but in the cities and towns a man was not expected to go out and blow, consequently the congregation had to furnish him with shirts and trousers and socks and a hat occasionally. Sometimes he would not receive more than one hat year, and on one occasion, in a small town. a minister astonished his hearers by ad- ding the following to his sermon Brethren, l am nightly in need of a pair of socks. It will soon be year now since you gave me a pair, and you will doubtless understand me when l say that my feet arc not in healthful condi- tion. It has been said that the feet of those who walk in the paths of the gospel are beautiful, but let me say that man might walk in the best defined gospel path known to the history of the world, and that if he had not changed socks in a year his feet would not be very attrac- ,ive. 1 am willing to preach, but you make mistake when you think that l purpose to walk through life as an adver- tisement for cheese factory
 Such troubles arose so frequently that at las, i, was deemed necessary to pay regular salaries to breaches. This worked well, for it enabled clersymen to throw aside pulpit inherited air of de- pendencc. Now the ministers want more money. They want to speculate in stocks in addition to psychological specu- lation, and when congregation fails to pay an adequate salary, the minister, in case he cannot receive a richer call, with draws from the field. The empty pull pits did not result from lack of material out from lack of money.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02

TIE new law in Arkansaw fixes 63o rods as the legal distance between church and q saloon. Some democrats make the lap in marvclously quick time.-DaaviAe (ky.) Fri SaHc.
 The law is non-political, which gives the republicans an equal excuse with the democrats. The time required in mak- ing the distance is very short. Men have been known to travel it three times during a short sermon.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-06-02

SOME time ago, the Hon. Edwin Cowles. of the Cleveland LessSsy, brought suit agains, the Psnsy Press for alleged slander. The other day the Psn.y Press said: "All right, old man, we'll take it all back Then MT. Cowles, like the gen. erous soul that he Is, withdrew the suit, went home in a ~ery happy frame of mind, and discharged another Catholic serant girl