The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-10-13


Darwin says monkeys could blush.
This relieves the dude of the suspicion OF
belonging to the monkey tribe. Boston
Transcript.
-''Eugene l.. Didier accuses Tenny-
son Of plagiarism. !" Tennysonp We
have heard of Didier; but who in the
Dickens is Tennyson. - Norristown Her.
aid.
She Had Boil:
The girl walked slowly down the aisle,
Her looks made all thespeoplc smaise.
For on her nose she had u basla--
This lovely maiden without gaislc.
OIL CITY Derrick.
Smoking may be bad habit" he
said, as he rode beside pretty Phiia-
delphia girl, "but that habit of yours Is
perfectly killing The marriage took
place the next day. Philadelphia Netos.
"A country boy drank a pint Of
whisky, went in swimming, ate lot OF
green apples, drank some ice water,
went to bed, and was found dead in the
morning. Too much ice water. - 1cras
Sjttings.
Friend to artist: II see the art
committee rejected that picture of
yours. Artist: Eyes, and it's all be-
cause one of the members was preiu-
diced against me. But I'll get even,
you bet" Friend: "I'll tell you how
10 get your revengev' Artist: s'Howp"
Friend paint his portrait"
-Ex-P President Farrar, who was de-
tanned from the recent English Wesley
an Conferences by age and feebleness,
stated in his letter to that body that
sixty years had elapsed since he had
preached his trial sermon, and that he
had known every President of the con-
ference since 1878. - Detroit Post.
The late Dr. Moffat, the venerable
missionary, became SO accustomed to
''roughing it, in Africa that when he
returned to England he could not sleep
comfortably on soft pillow. So for
his use at home he had one made OF
wood, and when he was visiting friends
he asked them to put block Of wood
or wooden footstool at the head of his
bed.--N. Y. Tribune.
Enquirer: If man came up and
poked us in the stomach, and grabbed
our cigar, and gave it to newsboy,
and tapped lis on the nose, would we
tell him he was freshp We might; but
we should do SO as an afterpiece to the
administration of walloping that
would remain the uppermost MEM
cry in that mans mind till he was
blown up on steamboat. tn. Y. Post.
Rev. DIR. John l.. Smith, OF the
Northwest Indiana Conference, has
published in pamphlet form, "a plea in
behalf Of worn-out preachers, widows
and orphans, with a prayer to the gen.
eral conference Of 1884" 1t contains
also the papers Of Rev. C. A. Brooke,
u. d., and other articles, all bearing
on the same subject. The discussion
and exhortation Of these papers is Wig
orous and urgent. - Chicago Journal.
A boy was going up Sycamore
Street yesterday with glass inkstand
to fill. Every few steps he would toss
it into the air and catch it again. He
did it successfully until the last time,
when it landed gracefully on the pave.
ment in q thousand pieces. He looked
at it about minute, and then said:
1T serves the old man right. | told
him before l started that couldn't
carry that thing up street. "-OW City
Derrick.
An Irishwoman can always man.
age to tell . very disagreeable truth in
. very agreeable way. s.How did your
husband die?" asked the Judge very
sternly. well, sir. very student like. 9
was the reply. 'But what was the
matter with him?' why, believe,
sir, he fell out of q window, or through
a kind Of cellar door, or something Of
that sort. "How far did he fallr'
mot more than five or six feet, Yer
Honor" "And how could such fall
rs that kill him?'' "You see, sir, there
was bit Of stirring or cord. or tia.
like, and it got round poor Mixes neck,
md he never spoke word after it. -
Chicago Herald.