Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-05-12
GERMAN ON THE BOB-TAIL.
Pleasant Discourse with the Poet
Driver.

A GERMAN ON THE BOB-TAIL.
Pleasant Discourse with tho Poet
Driver.
POETRY AND PROSE, WIT AND WISDOM, TEUToNIC
PHILOSOPHY AND YANKEE sHREwDNEss COM
BINE TO THROW LIGHT on THE GAS QUESTION
THE POETS TRIBUTE TO GENTLE SPRING."
Grim bricks and mortar, and the crowded
thoroughfares Of great city, grow attractive
when joyous spring spreads her bright colors
over the face Of nature. The saucy sparrow,
with dusty brown wing, Swimming along the
| curb. Is no longer abused; the bob-tail merrily
swinging on the turn-table In coat Of fresh
paint becomes thing of beauty. All the world
Is glad. Under the magic spell Of this awaken
Ing 1t was the good fortune Of q street-car pas
senger to find himself. one day this week, on
bob-tall No. 4Ss. whose poet driver, or driver
poet, The STAR has made famous This rugged,
yet gifted, child of nature, stood at his post as
"to step up lively"
"Mr. Poet" timidly ventured the platform
| traveller, how does this beautiful day affect
your temperament"
With face aglow the poet happily replied /:
"When swallows. twittering in their flight, are
When purple yio'ets.llft their heads. ana bloom is
IT'S then the festive william Goat, with vlgor in
WIN leave tempting circus bill to butt BARRIERS
pole.
All aboardl Get up, sir!"
The passenger was charmed by this pretty
brc-a-brac, SO easy and graceful In its descrip-
ton OF natural beauty and 30 apt in its illustra-
| ton Of the habits of the brute creation. How
often the hungry goat is seen to leave his meal
| of paste and paper, 80 bountifully spread upon
the board by the humane bill poster, to test his
strength with telegraph pole or barber's sign !?
The car had gone but few yards when 'Gen-
tie Spring" was again served up by the poet in
this style:
"'Tis now the busy bee begins his daily sips.
Ana turns his bitter end to mediling finger tips
IT'S now the niinble cat. perched high upon the
Sings songs of love and war in barytone immense.
''Holdt on dere init dot gar" excitedfy called
fat vender Of distilled hops, as he ambIed
along in a race with the horse. This prosaic
command. delivered in high key, checked the
flow OF rythm and the weary horse '.in one mo-
ton, ana as the car came to stop the rotund
son of the ''Faderland' plunged forward into
the presence of the poet. The Teuton was agi-
tated, and gave vent to his feelings in this out
burst: $50 helb me ERASMUS, der hors CARS und
der gas bids vas der gratist frawds oof der
goondree! w dond you sthop der gar ven you
v
dond you got a horse vat knowdt der human
voise trum der soundt Oof der trombone. so dot
ven man caldt Owt he wont dink it vas q brass
bandit und dry to rundt away? Aind it2"
The poet cooled his irate passenger of with
the following:
my German friend, heard you call,
And stopping quick, took In the ba,Cl;
You mentioned gas bills as q fraud
Now that is where we both accord
Ride? Change or tickets? Whoa"
"ls dot sO!" said the late arrival. ''Vell.
forgeef you, und toldt you how dot gas goom-
bany vas baying 1T On der beeples. In der saloon
we're geef bretzel NIT efery glass Oof beer
hat gas fiXins NIT tour burners on heem Now
vat do? In der mont before last vat shoost
gOndt ahedt Oof Abrl | burndt all der lights
und der bildt vas swancy dollar. Dot vas all
rghdt. und / saidt nOdding ven l geef der
greenback bildts of der Treshury for der yaller-
back bldts OOf der gas-hOwse But wait. und
showdt you der drick vat 1 blay on der gas
goombany und how lOosed money on dot drick.
toldt mein frau dot economy vas welt, und
geet dot welt In dees way: l saidt dot knowdt
der fife cent beese frum der shleeye button
shoost as gOot NIT two lighdts as four ind |
dond vas ligdt but two rghdt away dot mont;
but so helb me yawcub dot skheem dond vurk
vurt a cent, for der bildt vat got dees week
saidt dot / owedt der gas beedles shoost del,
same t,rendy dollar p
The thread of the discourse was snapped short
at this point by the sharp, cutting voice Of
a female passenger. who called out to the poet:
g. Shut that door, and keep that vile tobacco
smoke out of this car. It's worse than rail-
road train going through tunnel"
The driver calamity carried out the orders;
but murmured this on the outside:
How very strange, how very queer,
Some women act who ride in here
They pun themselves In every style.
Yet pun OF smoke seems very vile I
Ride7 Change. Whoa!"
Having passed through the tunnel the
German threw away his stub, and once more
struggled with the gas question. Said he:
II like to geef dot gas goombany smhoke.
/ vunder Oof dees mont I burndt a
kereseendt lamp dot meedcr would toldt der
man dot Owedt shoOst der same twendy dollar?
Ply sheeminy! i dry dot und see vot der gas clock
saidt. Der gas goOmbany would soldt out der
wholdt peesns oof der saloon oof hadt two oof
dem lying meders in der blaze! Vat you tnk
oof dot meder pecmis:" asked he of the tram
way MINSTREL Ever ready with keen sarcasm
to cut cancerOus spots from the body polite.
our Burns flashed out this In reply:
"The modest little meter in the corner stands:
Pointing to its feet with Its pretty hands.
Without o,n driver or horse you rake the golden
Tickets or change? whoa!"
"Dot is drue" said the German citizen; "dot
vas shoost as goot poedry as Hans Breitman's
little poim oof der Bicycle und der milk wagon.
You knowdts vat II do oof vas der Goomis-
simmer oof der Deesdrik2 Veil tell you vat
would do: would tOldt dot gas beebles you
go straight away Owt now; you dond dug any
mo holdts in der ethreet till you put goot ne,o-
,nonia in der gas und dock away frum der howses
dot meeseravble stool dot wink und blink, und
sthart und shoomp shoost like cat NIT pebber
In hees eyes,"
Just here the silent passenger was shnnted
->>>
Why q Little lad Cave is Up.
From the Boston Globe.
A boy was making great racket on his
drum in front Of house in Somerville. sIittle
boy" said lady, lyon mustn't drum here; there
Is q lady sick In this house." 'well, don't
know where am going to drum then; there's