Kimball enterprise. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1883, 1883-07-27
LIE ON THE MISSISSIPPI.
A Racy Sketch from Mark Twaln's
Latest Book

Perhaps the best representative pas
sage that could be selected since it
shows its authors faculties of observa-
ton and statement, and his command of
satirical phraseology, together with his
characteristic mood of banter and chatf,
= is the subjoined account of the homes
of the wealthy citizens of the West be-
tween New Orleans and st Louis
Every town and village along that
vast stretch of double river frontage has
a best dwelling, finest dwelling, man
sion,-the home of its wealthiest and
most conspicuous citizen. 1t is easy TO
describe it; large grassy yard, with pal
ing fence painted white-in fair repair;
brick walk from gate to door; big,
square, two story ''frame" house, paint
ed white, and porticoed like Grecian
temple-with this difference, that the
imposing tluted columns and Corinthian
capitals We're pathetic sham, being
made of white pine and painted; iron
knocker: brass door knob--discol-
ored, for lack OF polishing. Within,
an uncarpeted hall, of plared boards;
opening out of it Il parlor, fifteen feet
by fifteen-in some instances five or ten
feet larger; ingram carpet: mahohany
centre table; lamp on it, with green. pa
per understanding on gridiorn, so to
speak, made OF high colored yarns, by
the young ladies of the house, and called
a lamp-mat; several books, piled and
disposed, with cast-iron eXactness, ac-
cording to an inherited and unchange-
able plan; among them, Upper, much
pencilled; also Friendships Offering, I"
and "Attection's WREATH with their
sappy inanities illustrated in die-awav
mezzotints; also. Ossian: "Alonzo and
Melissa" maybe "Ivanhoe; ;also ssAlhum"
full Of original "poetry" of the Thou
hast-wounded-t -tne-spirit that loved thee
breed; two or three goodygoody works
-"Shepherd of Salisbury Plains" ETC.;
current number of the chasta and in
nocuous Godey's ''Lady's Book" with
painted fashion-pla of wax figured wo-
men with mouths all alike-lips and eye
lids the same size-each five foot wo.
man with a twc-inch wedge sticking from
under her dress and letting on to be
half Of her foot. Polished air.tight stove
new and deadly ilventiom with pipe
the discarded good old fireplace. On
each end of the wooden mantel, over
the fireplace, a large basket Of peaches
and other fruits, natural size, all
done in plaster, rudely, or in wax,
and painted to resemble the
originals-which they don't. Over mid
die Of mantel, Observation-Disclosures
Crossing the Delaware; on the wall by
the door, copy oft done in thunder-and
lightning crewels by one of the young
ladies-work of art which would have
made Washington hesitate about cross
ing, it he could have foreseen what ad-
vantage was going 10 be taken of it.
P!ano-kettle in disguise-with music
bound and unbound, piled on it, and on
stand near by: Battle of Prague; Bird
Waltz Arkansas Traveller; Rosin the
Bow Marseilles Hymn; On Lone Bar
ren Isle (St. Heiena); The Last Link ls
Broken: She Wore Wreath of Rose,
the Night when Last We Met, Go, For
&c. Me, Why should Sorrow Ger that
Brow Shadow Fling: Hours there were
to Memory Dearer; Long, Long, Ago;
Days of Absence; Life on the Ocean
Wave, A Home on the Rolling Deep,
Bird at Sea; and spread open on the
rack where the pialntive singer has left
1t, Ro-holl on, silver moo-hoon, guide the
traveller his way, etc. Tilted pensive-
ly against the piano, gnitar-gnitar
capable of playing the Spanish Fandan-
So ny ltSCIl II Ou SiSS IL Il start, IIdu-
tic work OF art on the wall--pious motto,
done on the premises, sometimes in
colored yarns, sometimes in faded sras-
ses-progenitor of the "God Bless our
Home" of modern commerce. Framed
in black mouldings on the
wall, other works Of art
conceived and committed on the premi-
ses, by the young ladies; being grim
black-and-wh crayons; landscapes,
mostly: lake, solitary sail-boat, petritied
clouds, pre-geological trees on shore,
anthracite precipice; name of criminal
conspicuous in the corner. Lithograph,
Napoleon crossing the Alps, Lithograph,
The Grave at St. Helena Stee,plates,
TrnmbuIl's Battle of Bunker Hill, and
the Sally from Gibraiter, Copperolates,
Moses Shifting the Rock. and Return OF
the Prodigal Son. In big gilt frame,
SANDER of the family, in oil; papa hold.
ing book c"Constitntion of the United
States"); guitar leaning against mamma
blue ribbons tiuttering from its neck; the
scalloped pantalettes, one embracing toy
horse, the other beguiling kitten with
ball of yarn, and both simperng up at
mamma, who shippers back. These per.
sons all fresh raw and red-apparently
skinned. Opposite in gilt frame, grand
pa and grandma, at thirty and twenty
two, stiff, old-fashioned, high-collared,
puf-sleeved, glaring palIidly out from
background of solid Egyptian night
Under glass French clock dome, large
bouquet Of stiff flowers done in corpse
white wax. Pyramidal what-not in the
corner, the shelves occupied chiefly
with bric-a-brac of the pc.
riod, disposed with an eye
to best effect shill, with the Lords
Prayer carved on it; another shell-ot
ihe long-oval sort, narrow, straight or
ifice, three inches long, running from
end to end-portrait of Washington
carved on it; not well done; the shell had
Washington's mouth originally-artist
should have built to that. These two
are memorials of the long-ago bridal
trip to New-Orleans and the French
Market. Other bric-a-brac; Californian
''specimens''-quartz, with gold wart ad-
herring; old Guinea-gold locket, with cir
Gle of ancestral hair in it; Indian arrow
heads, of flint; pair of bead moccasins,
from uncle who crossed the Plains !;
three "alum" baskets of various colors-
being skeleton-frame of wire, clothed -on
with cubes of crystallized alum in the
rock-candv style-works Of art which
were achieved by the ladies; their doub-
les and duplicates to be found upon oil
what-nots in the land; convention of
desiccated bugs and butterflies pinned
to q card; painted toy-dog, seated upon