The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1883-12-17

VI the Lunch Counter sLlgEOn ant
Some Other Topics.
Nobody buta niger can call niger {
Niger"
you mean with impunity."
"No; I mean wild his tongue"
This was the dialogue which greeted tin
ears Of the INTELLGEScER scout as he on
tered the lunch room ona rainy evenin,
lately, and Hez, thinking he had said a
good thing, and fearing 1t might be los
to the public, directed his conversation t.
the chronicler and repeated:
"No, sab; nobody but niger can call 9
niger niger and keep his health"
who has been calling you niger
Hez?'
Nobody; and nobody bettah use any
offensive ekerthets to dis COON"
The customer to whom the remark had
first been made explained:
"Hez called his boy here a niger, and
remarked that II had done It both OF
them would be mad"
"1ts jls' Likely ole 'oomin wild her ole
mar" said Hez. "She'll call him a lazy,
good fur nuthin' loaier ten times day,
but II 70 er me call him half as bad names
she club Us wild do broam stick"
"Hez, changing the subject, what have
you got 10 eat tonight
Same ole t ing: oystah soup, roas' beei
and san'wichis."
IL have only one objection to your oyster
soup; you put too much water for the
oysters"
"Yo' kent spect s'leCt stew fur dime
yo' know"
':Hez," said the other visitor, "why don't
you cook your beef little more; it's toe
rare for my taste?"
"Yaas, en- its too brown fur de mex
mans tase. Everybody ken roas' de meat
better'n de cook, but We amt no melyon.
airs hyur, en- kent hire French cook
apiece fur our customers"
"Hez, you colored people don't seem ia
have as nlanyreVivals this winter as usual. u
swell, yo' see de seasons little back.
ard yet. Den dey he'd mos tow many
camp meetin's en- bush meetin's las sum.
mer to git up revivals befoah Janyerry."
lyon don't take much stock in camp
meetings, do your
"No; de blgges' ainnur gently shouts de
"Then should think you would be one
Of the enthusiastic attendants"
Hez pondered over this little while.
Then with dry and mechanical "Ha.ha.
ha-ba," he called out,
"Yo' Dave; KEN en- help me laugh at dis
joke"
"Htz, without joking bit, do not
thinka little religion would hurt you"
swat yo' mean by 'ligion? Lemme
tell yo' little story bout feller ober de
rib6er heah, wat was alluz in dc front rank
at dc glory meetin's. He says, says he, I's
done lied, en- done stole, en- done git drunk
en- lam de ole woman, but bress de Lor' l
neber done loss my 'ligionp Now l doaa
rake much stock in dat kin O. 'ligion, no
how. De 'ligion I likes SIS de kin dat
makes de colored wenCh eweep inner de
doah mat wen her missy's up stahs."
A new conner managed to make his order
heard at this juncture; and as Hez handed
it up, he noticed gorgeous silver plated
castor on the counter.
"Hello, old man, you're getting extraya-
giant, amt your
"No sab ee; nothin' ruins a business man
like TOW much economy. Efyo' doan make
tinse sort o'Eusty roun' nobody gOan keep
comm hyur."
There's something in that" the chron,
icler assented.
SOB kose day is. peopll done make fun
o show, but tole yo' shows half do battle.
Wife folks doan hev to Ro'much on chow,
OBJ kcse, fur yo' can tell 'em by day looks
but US !coons got dress tow show we'a
quality"
With this moral reflection ringing in his
eaIe, the INTELLIoRNcRR man retired.