The weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1883, 1883-02-07
HIS PA GOES A SKATING.
The Result Proves Disastrous
to The Ambition of the Old
Gentleman While His
System Sustains a
Shock.

SyOBOA44 00OSoSASS -
Shock.
my p y Al broke up" said Peck's
bad boy u the grocer. "He is split up
% ma battons the top Of his pants to his
collar button, like bicycle rider. Well,
he'd no business to have told me and my
ehum that he used tobe the best skater in
North America, when he was boy. He
aaid he skatsd once. from, Albany to New
York in IN hour sand eighty minutes.
Ne and my chum thought if pa was such
. terror on skates we would get him to
put on . pair Of roller skates and enter
him - the great unknown" and clean
out the whole gang. We told pa that he
must remember that roller skates were
different from ice skates, and that maybe
hs couldn't skate on them, but he said it
didn't make any difference what they
were as long as they were skates; and he
vould just paralyse the whole crowd. So
We got . pair Of big roller skates for him,
and ~hile We were strapping them on,
p he looked at the skaters glide around
on the smooth waxed floor just though
rHHYwKxE CREASED.
Pa looked at the skates on his feet,
after they were fastened, sort of forlorn
like, the way horse thief does when
they put shackies on his legs, and I told
him II he was aftaid he couldn't skate
with them We would take them of, but
he aid he would beat anybody there
was there or bust . suspender. Then we
straitened p up and pointed him towards
the middle Of the room, and he said
''leego," and we just give him little push
TO start him, and he began to 60. Well,
By gosh, you'd . dide to see pa try to
stop. You see, you can't stick in your
hsel and stop, like you can on ice skates,
snd pa soon found that out, and he began
to turn sidewsys, and threw his arms
and walked ON his heels, and he lost his
hat, and his eyes began to stick out,
cause hs was going right towards an iron
post. One arm caught the post and he
circlsd around Il few times, and then
he Let 90 and began to fall, and, sir, he
kept fhlling a across the room, and
everybody got t;out Of the way, except
dh, ard p grabbed her by the polonsise,
like . drowning man grabs at straws,
though there want any straws in her
polonaise - I know Of, but Pc just
ruL1kD HER ALONG,
= though she vas done up in a shawl
Strap, and his iet went out from under
him and he stllck on his shoulders and
kept going, with the girl dragging
along like bundle Of clothes. Ifpa had
had another plir of roller skates on his
shoulden and casters on his ears he
couldn't have lid along any better. Pa
l. short, big nan, and as he was rolling
along ON his bdek, he looked like sofa
win casters a, being pushed across
room by girl. Finally pa came to the
wall and had y stop, and the girl fell
right across him, with her roller skates
in his neck, and she called him an old
brute, and told him if he didn't let go of
her polonaiss she would murder him.
Just then mychum and me got there and
" smputatsd pa from the girl, and lifted
him up, and told him for heavens sake
TO let rls take of the skates, cause he
couldn't skate any more than cow, and
pa was mad and said for us to let him
alone and he could skate all right, and
we let go and he struck out again. Well,
Dir, wae aGhamed. An old man like pa
ought to know better than to try to be a
boy. This last time pa said he was 60
Ing
10 SPREAD HIMSELF,
and II I I'm any jadge Of big spread,
hs did spread himself. Somehow the
skates had turned around sideways on
hb feet, and his feet got to going in diff
Arent directions, and pas feet were get
ING % far apart that l was afraid I
would have two pas, half the size, with
ons Lex apiece. l tried to get him to
TIE up collection Of his legs, and get
them both in the same ward, but his
arms dew around and one hit me on the
Aoss, and thought if he wanted to
stsiks the best friend he had, he could
SdA his old legs himself Whenhe began
70 separate rcould hear the bones crack,
but maybe it was his pants, but anyway
he came down on the floor like one of
those fellows in circus who spreads
hinself and he kept going, and finally
surrounded IN iron post with his legs,
and stopped, and he looked pale, and the
PROPRIETOR OF THE RINK
told pa ii fhe wanted to give flying ira
pese performance he would have to 60 to
the gymnasium, and he couldn't skate on
his shoulders any more, cause other
skaters were afraid of him. Then pa
said he would kick the liver ont of the
proprietor of the rink, and he got up and
steadied himself, and then ne tried to
kick the man, but both heels went up to
wonc, and pa turned summersault and
struck right on his vest in front. Iguess
II knocked the breath out of him, for he
didn't speak for q few minutes, and then
he wanted to 60 home. and we put him
IN street car, and hsfaid down on the
hay and rode home. o, the work we
had to get pas clothes of. He had
.cTicks in his back, and everywhere, and
ma was away to one of the neighbor's to
look at the presents, and I had to put
IMMINENT on pa, and made mistake
and Sot bottle Of furniture polish, and
put It on pa and
RUBED IT IN,
end when ma came home, pa smiled like
. coffin at . charity funeral, and ma said
there was no way of getting that varnlsh
Of Of p till it wore of. Pa says holidays
~ condemned nuisance, anyway. He
vIl have to stay in the house all this
week" .You are pretty rough on the
Old man. said the grocery man Nafter
he has been 80 kind to you and given
yQpsash nice presents" "Nice presents
.ahthin. All got was come to Jesus
n>.a ,.,s<1, I,r: ,I1o friv,no fror,