The Dawson journal., 1883-08-09
Bill Arp in the Constitution


CE II see that some-write,. ;,,h
AlAth Century say that the bn.
M man race is getting more refined
and angelic, and in me course nf
time won't eat at I'll, that it is de-
generating in animal nature and
advancing ID Spiritual nature: fhat
", we came pom the monkey and IN
the course of timer will be as etbaI
real as angels. For instance he
says all brutes and savages have
Dig teeth and lots of hair and love
70 fight and to bite, and thev are
Pstf n3 and have big feet and broad
toes, ! but that a refined man or
woman has no such inclination and
their teeth come small and decay
early, and they lose their hair and
the men go bald-headed and. the
women wear braids and switches
he says we ride everywhere now
ddays and don't have much use for
1feet or legs, and none at all for the
springs that is In the toes, and SO
the feet are growing smaller every
generation and the legs Simmer
and as for the toes they are grow
ing together and that about half
the folks you meet with haven't
got but four toes now, for the two
that are next to the big toe have
growed together and in another
generation or SO they will all grow
together for nature never supplies
anything just for the fun Of it
lie says that the man of the future
Will have neither teeth, hair nor
toes, that the hair and beard gives
strength like it did to Samson and
we Won't need any for universal
peace viii prevail andnobody have
any occasion to fight and so the
hair and beard must 90.
What kind of spectacle Of pos
terity do you call that? I'll bet
that Teller is club-footed and has
no teeth and not hair betwixt his
head and heaven, and he is trying
to comfort himself with Darwin's
philosophy. He ought to move to
China, the CELESTIAL empire where
they shave off their hair and the
women club their toes and rot out
their teeth with dye. There is a |
power of theory about mankind,
but we have got profane history
upon it for 1000 years and sacred
history a good deal longer and I
reckon he is about the same crea-
ture he always was. There were
Just as great men lived 5000 years
ago as now. They handed down
to us all we know of the principles
OF virtue and law and government.
They were Just as good-looking and
as comedy in manners, and our
artists go to them now for models
of form and beauty. Their men
wore boards and their women
gloried in their long tresses.
Even Jupiter shook his ambrosial
locks, they say. Men get used to
bald head, but they never get
reconciled. Peter the great pass
ed a law that nobody should pay
tax but those who wore boards and |
coat tails, and history says that
good many of his subjects cut off
their beard to get rid of the tax
| wonder if that wouldn't be good |
way to raise money now, especial
ly if the young mans mustache
was included and it was taxed ac-
cording to the value he set upon it.
On the whole [ belite that most !
Of us would rather he man with
a top-pot than a bald-headed an
gel. l would rather have the an
gelic sign i'll my toes than on my
head, but [ wouldn't have it any
where if [ Gould help it. I reckon
tiiat after while when young man
-cdNrts d girl and wants to find
ioua how angelic she is, he will say
Now Miss Maryann, before we
sprs ceed any further with this bus
mess please let me see your toes;
BILL ARP.