The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1883-11-16
THE WRONG DUDE.

Glamour Describes the Mistake OF
Three New York Tou bis.
Three aggressive young men sat on
the end of Third Avenue elevated rail.
road car yesterday afternoon, and made
audible comments about the other pas.
sengers. They were untidily clad,
guiltless of collars, and noticeably adj
dlcted to tobacco, but they were endow-
that enabled them to discuss the per-
sonal points of other people with en-.
tire candor and fearlessness. w.
They we're flushed with beer.
One of them leaned over with his ell.
bows on his knees, another's hands
were buried deep in his trousers pock.
cts. and a third had his arms and head
out of the window most of the time.
They were sitting thus when the car
stopped at Chatham Square on it's way
to the City Hail.
A dude was gently waited in. The
passengers glanced at him with helpless
wonserment, or gszed upon him with
vague interest that an enigma always in
spires. He was a purely placid dude.
The serenity of his expression was UNI
marred by even SO much as a passing
thought. Above a cruelty high collar APP
peared the face; s%urmountlng it, a high,
white hat, with generously curved rim,
and bell shaped crown. The feet of the
looked like swollen toothpicks. and the
tightaess of his trowser RS inspired the be-
holder with qulvering distrust. Around
the towering collar was a mild tie about
the size Of a shoe-string, and Il light-col-
ored coat was buttoned closely to the
neck. lie carried a PAIR of gloves and q
silver-lleaded cane, and his hat was
worn back IN his head disclosing q short
bang of straW-colored hair. His light
| muslac!le had been carefully matured,
but it was of disappointi growth.
The dude sank %languidly to rest OPP
posite the three 70 ing men. His eyes
"a, passed e llsslesslY over ttlem. and then hs
his lace looked blank and mourniul.
The three young men stared at the
dude for some time, and then one of
them yelled:
"Ah, there, Bartholomew Who I'M
tied you? Amt you ashamed, you
coy thing, to wear such tight pants?"
The dude raised his eyes and stared
TRANQUILITY at the three young men, and
then carelessly dropped them again.
Don't you look at me, sauce box
or I'll slap you real hard, so
there!" minced another Of the young
men.
The third one had meanwhile been
glaring at the dude with immense dis
like.
Say, what good are you?" he asked
contempt. "Who feeds yer? Phi come
9ver there and stick a pin in yer lung,
an xii. yer dead. d'y' hear?"
Once more the dude raised his eyes
TRANQUILITY, and fixed them on the last
speaker, who was now leaning forward,
and peering at him with an ugly
scowl. u
Don't you look at me, We mutton
faced IDIOT" continued the belligerent
one, halt rising in his scat. "I'm a man,
l am, an I don't allow no white gussie to
squint at me" f.
Still the dudes eyes looked steadily
into those of the loud monthed bully,
while the dude sucked the end of his
n The rough rose slowly. and
with his head thrust forward. and his
eyes half closed, moved toward the
languid dude.
Don't touch the poor thing, Mickey;
you'll kill it If you do" said one OF the
trio, at isn't alive. 1t amt possible"
By this time the passengers were
leaning forward, and cries of "sit down.
an let him Alone" we're addressed to
the bully, wt.o was deriding the dude.
The latter still sucked the end of lis
cane languidly. The bully rose and
stepped toward the dude with cienched
fists, but, before he could strike, the
dude had dropped his cane and was
standing squareiy in front of the bully.
An instant the two stood face to face,
| and then, the dude made a feint with
his left hand, the bully threw up both
hands to ward off the expected blow,
and caught q right handler on the jaw
that sent him sprawling over backward
in the car. Quick as q flash the du.le
sive of the two.others by the throat, ms
! he satin his seat, ne deliberately lam.
med his head back against the car, and
slapped mis- face on either side, as be
said calmly:
"You are asked if a dude was pos
sible lbang). All things are possible. A
dude is a thiny-{bang, slap. Therefore,
u dude is possible-(bang, bang!)"
Then the dude submitted to the pres.
| cure of the peacemakers, and walked
gracefully out upon the platform of the
City Hall station. | looked him at.
tentively III the face, and was suddenly
knocked speechless ty the discovery
that he was not q dude at all, but a no
furious imitation, He is one OF tho best
known men i'll New York-Artiiur Dick.
inson Williams, formerly State Senator
"What on earth do you mean by
NJ ), -, i, -, - 1,Jo st,,l.c,t I Eol.aI =.
a~tnazement.
fully; ''isn't it?"
well, l suppose, SO. How do you hap
pen to be ut large in such a costume?"
'Jokc," said the senator mour.iully
tslaree and playful joke. Hasn't PANIED
out very well so far. Nearly broke nv
wrist hitting that buffer in the car. Pye
! stood no end of chatf all the WAY down,
l got weary toward the end of the line,
and dropped tledislguse."
"But why are YOU
"BoD Brown gives q dinner at the AS.
tor House to-day, and am one Of the
invited guests. Thought it would create
a sensation if / went in as a dude.
shall go the rest of the distance, IN a
closed cab. If walk, however," he ad.
ded, thoughtfully, 81 would create a
STU ueeper IMPRESSION Wuen l arrived"
"HowY'
81 should probably be taken in as Il
corpse. Which had you rather be, a
dude or a corpse?"
Dude"
SOD l." said the festive diner. Then
! h he 1s u a cab and whiried out Q fsigtt.