Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-09-13
PITH AND POINT.

"A crocodile shuts its jaws with a
force of 1910 pounds, If you don't be-
lieve it, get in and weigh it when it
comes down. Burlington Hawkeye.
"A new style of stocking is called
Voltaire. Sockrates would have been
a better name. We never did admire a
stocking with tare at the end of it.
Chicago Lnter4Ocean.
An, exchange correspondent asks:
els there anything that can be burned
to keep away mosquitoes?" Oh, yes.
Burn the mosquitoes. That will keep
them away.-Norristown Herald.
The Concord School of Philosophy
has not yet determined how woman
should act when her hands are in the
dough pan and an aggressive fly lights
on her nose PtilGdclphia Bulletin
Yes, there is musicoi in bagppe,
there is no doubt about that But the
music gets such a terrible squeezing in
coming through the narrow tubes, it's
agonized screams are the only soul DIS
which reach the'ear.
We have long heard it said that Eve
was made for Adam s express company,
but it has only recently been discovered
that every girl in Colorado considers
herself a candidate for the Western
naturalization Aduertiser. q -.
-s.I'm glad Billy had the sense to
marry a settled old maid" said Grand
ma Winkum at the wedding. Gals is
hity-tity, and widders is kinder over
rulin' and upsettin. Old maids is
kinder thankful and willin' to please.
Christian at Work.
pricing gingham in a, shop. One re-
marked to the other on the label to the
goods: '.,.See the, American eagle and
the motto E, pluribus unum;' that the
French for In til, time of peace prepare for
war ''-Boston Aduertiser. :
=, This is the way mean editor tries
to crush a man who thinks he possesses
the '.divine afflatus:" San esteemed
citizen, who, is sending about fifteen
pages of original poetry every day, is
respectfully informed that if he doesn't
let up, one of his pieces. with his full
name attached, will be published. This
warning is given in the interest Of his
family and friends. ~. Y. Co3nDaer-
cSaJ -A6Ucrtiser. -. = g.. GO.
--''What do they have that fish I'D
there for?A asked the visitor at the State
House, looking at the ancient cod which
hangs from the ceiling of the House
chamber. Its an. old superstition
replied the Boston man, s.that the fish
has a sort. of repressive influence over
the Legislators. y ''And yet" suggested
the visitor, ...if 7 am not mistaken. ALI
of your laws are cod-defied The Bos-
ton man fell into a swoon, and when he
came to, he promised never to try to
gull a country1nan again. = Bost on Tran
Sgrtptsh5 4o4 I9dtft. -,-i SD go ~ ..
. -i2- A Natural Conclusion
By Jove! this room is in pretty state!
There's nothing in the place it ought to be-
When came in last night twas pretty late
And then the place appeared all right to me.
Where are my clothes? / had shirt! All |
there .--.r -.
TITS, hung upon the peg which devote 1T
To that dark object which see is where
The shirt should be-a rubber overcoat
had another stocking, 1 am sure! 10
Aha: My watch on floor with broken face: |
The stocking meath my pillow, where, secure, |
IL is nlE rule, at night, my watch to place
shoe upon the hat-rack hung That's goodI |
My hat is by the other, on the floor
And in it has my wet umbrella stood
And dripped, instead of in the cuspadore
Its quite enough TO make an angel weep; 1
Especially the spelling of the hat!
Stow me the wretch who, while / was asleep, |
Entered my room and mixed things up like |
that Boston Post !