Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-26
WIT AND HUMOR.

A Cincinnati physician whose spec
ialty was the treatment of idiots, was
very mad at his neighbor, the editor,
who meant to be complimentary when
he spoke of the physician as cele-
braled idiotic doctor.
The proprietor of Scotch hotel in
forms commercial gentlemen and
tourists" that they can rely on COM
Portable accommodations at his estab-
lishment, and that Carriages and
other conveyances, including a first
class country hearse, are kept for hire"
We thouaat Chicago commercial
traveller beat the world for cheek, but
q Maryland lady will have to be ex-
cepted. Her next door neighbor was
sprinkling Paris green OIL his potato
vines to keep away the bugs, and she
told him to stop or he would kill all
her chickens.-BOSton Post.
"'See here, George, said a fond man,
ma to her little son, as they walked
on the beach, "what lot Of nice little
round stones" EYES," grumbled
George, as he cast a searching glance
around, ''and not blessed thing to
throw 'em at"
ain the hour of danger woman
thinks least Of herself" said Mime. de
Stael. True! When the thunder roars
and the vivid lightning flashes, and
the big drops come down, the woman
who is caught out in the storm de-
votes her agony TO the thought that
her hat and dress will be ruined.
A Baltimore heiress fixed herself
up as homely woman of middle age
and got into street car in which
were four or five of her suitors. AS
one of them wanted to get off he got
up and let her have his seat. She sup
posed that he went to ride upon the
platform, and, of course, accepted him
when he proposed. Some men are
born to luck.
a mans excuse for stealing a pair
of chickens was, that while &C work
he hung his coat near the coon, and on
going for it he found the chickens
roasted Oh the same. He hadn't the
heart to wake them up, he said, co he
wound his coat around them without
waking them and carried them off.
His defense was ingenious. but he was
sent up for three months all the same.
A London tourist met q young wo-
man going to the kirk, and as was not
unusual, she was carrying her boots
in her hand, trudging along barefoot.
"My girl" he said, sis it customary
for all the people in these parts to go
barefoot" "Pairtly they do" said
the girl. "and PARTLY they mind their
own business"
Dean Afford tells of Scotch lad in
military school who went up with a
drawing of Venice, which he had just
finished, to show the master. Observ-
ing that he had printed the name I'M
der it with two ms" (Vennice) the
master said: 'Don't you know that
there's only one hem in Venice?'
"Only one hen in Venice!" exclaimed
young Sandy with establishment
'Pm thinking they'll no hae mony
eggs, then"
Punch suggests charming fashion,
which has the merit of being exquis-
itely harmonious. A young woman
built on the disjointed plan, which
indicates brain given TO aesthetics
has serpent bracelets cOiled above and
below her all too evident elbows, and
around her ankles, which is nothing
new, but the finishing touch Of SER
pent thrice twisted about her supple
waist, and of another serpent, ellis and
ellis long, wrapped outside her dress
above her knees III guise Of scarf
oVerskirt, is new.
off We place, mum, the cook ha;
boorned her hand, an axes to be ex-
cused for few days, for it's most
crazy she IL with the pain" "Indeed
Bridget, Pll do nothing Of the sort.
expect to dinner tomorrow several
prominent members of the Society fol
the Prevention Of Cruelty to Animals
and the cook must do her work or FIND
another place, pain or no pain"