Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-02-14
LITERARY HUSBANDS.
Their Selnshness ana Irritability-Ad-
vice to Ladies-Trials and
Paugs Of Authorship.

LITERARY HUSBANDS.
Their SeInsI,ness ana IrritabiIity-Ad-
vice to Ladies-Trials and
Pangs of Authorship.
There could be few more critical tasks
than to write treatise on the choice of
wives or husbands; but we need not be
over-scrupulous about warning ladies in
search of husbands to beware of men of
literary habits, and we shall be doing a
kindness if we advise literary men con-
templating matrimony to select for their
wives judicious and patient nurses rather
than charming and brilliant women.
There is comfortable doctrine held
by wives that all husbands are more or
less selfish, and we admit that there is
much to be said in support of this the
DRY. Hunting husbands, shooting hus-
bands, Parliamentary husbands and bust
ness husbands generally seek their own
amusement rs the principal end of their
lives, while the pleasures of their wives
are regarded as desirable but secondary
objects; but none of the aforementioned
are so purely selfish as are certain lit
erary husbands. Strictly pleasure-seek-
ing husbands often study their own
amusement only, while they worship
their wives. Literary husbands also
study their own amusement only, while
they worship themselves. Moreover, in
intercourse with their fellow-creature
ordinary mortals usually imbibe some
fresh ideas or learn a little entertaining
gossip, and are consequently more or less
agreeable companions TO their wives.
But the literary man spends the day at
home in. his own den, where his brain
feeds chiefly upon itself, with u few
books, by way of condiment, by writer's
holding his own identical opinions; so
that he is unlikely to be very fresh or
amusing when he seeks the society of his
wife.
Like savage animal that cannot be
approached without danger, the literary
husband, us we have said, spends his
time in his study. He may be concoct-
ing jokes for a comic paper or writing a
treatise on Christian gentleness; but for
all that, when sitting at his writing-table
he will be. Us ill-tempered and as snap
pish as bull-terrier on his chain. The
judicious wife will be wary in approach
ing him on such occasions. If the kitchen
bursting, "dear George must not be
disturbed on that account, or the heat of
his wrath and the explosion of his temper
are likely to exceed the worst that can
happen from those domestic calamities.
He may be writing the most calm and
unimpassioned judgment on the disputes
between the Guelfs and the Ghibelins;
but it would be unwise in his wife to
calculate on his giving an equally tenn
perate decision on squabble between
the cook and the butler during the hours
that he spends in his chair of literary
jurisdiction. 1t is true that there are
some literary husbands who will make
attempts to be courteous when invaded
in their sanctums. They will assure
their wives that they ''are not in the least
in the way" while their nervous rest
lessness too plainly bellies their words;
they may even assume a CHASTITY smile
when thorough reorganization of their
rooms is suggested, and there may be u
very pretty struggle between the parental
and the literary instincts when their
youngest children are brought into their
dens; but it only requires half an eye to
see that they are in reality as much put
out as n servant disturbed at a meal,
which we take to be the extreme example
of human acrdity. Perhaps the most
remarkable expression ever assumed by
o literary husband is that which he wears
when his wife requests him to come into
the drawing-room to help to entertain
some friends, especially when she as
sures him that they are aware he is at
home. His face, again, is study, if she
enters his room when he is in the middle
of long and carefully prepared sem
tence, with the pleasing announcement
that the housekeeper complains of "a
smelr' in one of the back passages.
Much literary work is apt to engender
irritability. When the mind is deeply
absorbed in some interesting subject, and
an idea has been grasped after consider
able mental eXertion, abrupt interruption
is very trying. A sudden disturbance of
of such kind will produce actual head
ache in some people. IL is also ex-
ceedingly irritating to feel that the clew
which had only just been found, after so
much trouble, has been lost, perhaps
never to be regained. 1t is needless to
add that much literary occupation, re-
lieved by but little fresh air and exercise,
is most likely cause of dyspepsia. Now
the combination of an original mind and
a dyspeptic body may be highly favor
able to amusing writing of pungent
and sarcastic nature, but il is far from
being equally favorable TO domestic hap
piness Another thing that detracts
from the sociabilty of a literary husband
in his habit of relapsing the ideas that
refuse TO be invoked in the study begin
to flow in the drawing-room or dining
room, and literary husband when his
sacred from disturbance When in that
celestial condition he is doubtless worthy
of great reverence, but he can scarcely
be called an amusing member of society.
There are many living creatures that
are a nuisance in house. A naughty
boy is one, NANCY dog is another, u
third is an early student of the violin;
but, of all domestic nuisances, man
who is writing book is, to our mind,
the worst. II he is writing il as a mat
ter of business, he is an unmitigated
bore. He thinks of nothing else What
Is IL to him that the country is involved
in war, that the Ministry have been
beaten, or that his drains are out of or
der, unless these facts have at least an
indirect bearing on his workp He spends
most of his time closeted in his study.
and II he goes out he has notebook at
hand TO receive his ideas. II he reads
at all, he confines himself to books bear
ing on the subject that he is treating in
his great work. He Is absent and pre-
occupied in the presence of his wife, and