National Republican., 1883-10-13

uihS hblSttE III INV VI Juun DElBubt
is a missionary in Honolulu
KITTENS heads are to take the place of
birds heads on the coming bonnet.
CHIEF JUS wife says she will bring little
Charley McComas up in the way he should 60
IN the Los Angeles (Cal.) chain gang there
are dozen boys, ranging in years from II to 20.
A NEVADA negro has seen pair of drum
sticks in the sun, and predicts war and oceans of
blood.
A KANSAS town has logislated against the
goat as "ruthless destroyer" u terror" and a
curse"
MAcARoNI dinners the food cooked in Sow
eral different ways, are increasing in fashionable
popularity.
A NEW YORK woman has discovered that
bony women are just as fond of jersey jackets "a
plump ones
BEN BUTLER, it is said, never laughed but
once. He smiles occasionally, however, like
other politicians.
A FARMER in Mt. Vernon, Me-, has raised
from onohalf acre of ground lG5 bushels of large,
smooth potatoes.
A BROOKLYN girl, whose lover sent her
$4,000 kisses, has just learned that he has wife
and two children.
game hash" is one of the dishes served at
the Yellowstone Park hotel, but visitors arc said
to DO somewhat suspicious oft.
LAST Monday evening young eagle found
resting place on top of the flag staff in front of
the city hall, Salt Lake. 1t roasted too high 10 be
captured.
A MICHIGAN debating society has decided
that man who will smoke around q hay stack is
bigger fool than the man who blows into an un-
loaded gun.
CANADA has produced woman who wants
to swim the whirlpool rapids of Niagara but the
authorities will not permit her to try the foohardy
experiment
EACH curl on the head of tho statue of
Liberty Enlightening the World" destined for
New York harbor, is three times bigger than O
mans body.
DEATH has knocked out thirty California
millionaires within the last ten years Money
won't compromise matters with His Majesty If
that's any consolation to the poor.
CAPT, SCOTT SIDDoNs. the husband of the
reader and actress. has been placed in a mad
house In Australia. His wife separated from him
because he squandered her earnings
WHEN q married couple at Island Pond, vt,
who had fought like cats and dogs for years, were
at last divorced they left the room together
had their pictures taken, and then separated.
The editor of the Hemphill (Tex.) Reporter
gives as al excuse iOr issuing only u nulf Sheet,
that no "got lost in the woods" He promises to
stay at home hereafter aud attend to business.
AMONG the prizes given at the central
fair, Hamilton, Ont, are two bees. They are
queens, one from the Holy Land and one from the
cyprus, and are valued at SIS and $40, respect
lively.
MISS JANE CooMBs, the actress, has been
most successful in her late starring tour through
the middle states. On Sept. 90 she opened at Har-
risburg Pa, in "Pique," before very Urge audi
ence.
A NEGRO was appointed Especial policeman
in Sumter, S. c., and proceeded TO business at
once. Before night he had half the prominent
citizens of the town IN jail, and an indignation
meeting had to be held before no would take a
rest.
WHEN q runaway couple applied to the
county clerk at Texarkanu for u license to marry
they were refused because the girl was only l6
years old. The young man urged that she weighed
l40 pounds and was big enough, but the clerk was
obdurate.
FIFTEEN genuine Sioux Indians who are
| seeing Gotham, Rmuse the people at o hotel by
eating with their hands and dressing outlandishly.
AS they wear silk hats they think they are civil
| lied. This Is very common mistake among other
people beside Indians-Loweil CtiEen-
A Boston man has invented a process by
which he kills the stray dogs of the corporation at
| the rate of one each minute and half He
doesn't reveal the entire process, but remarks that
death results from differentiation of hydro
cephalic consanguination of the nervous centers,"
II is not surprising that the process is success.
A SON of John i. Andrew, the great war
governor OF Massachusetts,, was married last Thurs
| day TO Miss Harriet Thayer,who IL repued to be
worth ssO0OO00. An item has been going tho
rounds lately stating that the groom has been
earning living by climbing telegraph poles as q
! repairer for one of the telephone companies He
| won't have to hustle to pay board bills hereafter.
AN Oswego Falls man sent o two-pound
stone into an apple tree for the purpose of knock
| Ing down some fruit large one fell, and while
STOPPING down TO pick the apple up the stone
| descended on tho back of his head, raising a
lump about the size OF the apple he was after.
The next time he goes after apples he will use a
| rake with string tied to it.-Ne0 York CONNER
| cial Advertiser.
Miss ADA PARKER is a girl of nineteen who
| lives on q cotton plantation two miles from Mon"
| roe La For the last four years she has had ex-
| elusive charge of the place, upon which her Wild
| owed mother, sister, and two younger brothers
reside, supporting them all by her industry. She
Is her own overseer, supervising all the work done
In person, and no brawny son of Ceres knows bet
ter how to raise crop or handle labor
"THEN you arc getting on nicely in school,
my little mann Can you tell me how many pecRs
there are in gallon2' Just half peck, sir.
You soc, there are eight quarts in peck, and four
quarts in q gallon. That just fetches It," "Your
| logic ia very good, Now tell me how many yards
| In a foot" 81 should think there was about
yard and a half in your foot" and then the boy
| ''skinued" around the corner for fear the foot
might swing In his dircction.-- Hartford Post.
THERE isn't a sardine on this side of the
Atlantic ocean, aud yet there are three big fac
| tories In full blast on the coast OF Maine Now,
how do You make that out2 Easily enough, o
simple minded reader, easily enough, as easily
| as lying" in fact. one swallow does not make Il
summer, all that gistens is not gold and that
which we call a sardine would be her ring had
he been allowed to swim year or two longer,-
HGukeye.
EX-PREsIDENT FILLMoRE's widow IS said
to be growing eccentric Mary Reid her former
maid testified recently in the contested viii case
that when visitors called she would talk about
them aud after they had gone away she would
become excited, slam the doors, and scream. At
ter these fits she would toll witness not TO say any
thug about them. Once in the dining room she
threw the cover of sugar bowl etwitness head
because she did not uncover Il quick enough to
suit her While under the doctors care, and TAX
, ing baths she said that witness was trying 20
drown her. She would scream loud enough 10 be
heard in the street.