The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1883-07-27
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The girl graduates pet letters
S. A.
A man always looks black when he
feels blue.-SomerUile Journal.
Haste makes waste" said the man
who threw bootjack and killed cat.
Border troubles-Too much hash
not enough berries Wheeling Leader.
Enough is as good as feast" re-
marked the fellow who found that the
egg which he was about to eat was
aged.
A fair and accomplished young Dr..
Fell in love with a lady named Pr,
But his terms scientific
Came forth so terrific,
That they really and truly quite shr.
A new postoflice in the South is
called Langtry. 1t is hoped that it
will not be true to it's name, and cause
the mails to go astray.-Norristoacaa
Herald.
An Alabama man advertises that he
has something that will make hens lay.
Perhaps it is a little string that ties
their legs. Send stamps f, r the secret.
-Picdyune.
"Pepi, how did you get along in
school to-day?' Badly, papa; the
teacher gave me thrashing." why"
swell, he asked me how many teeth
man had, and / said VIII lie mouth
l."-Nj gsnde Blatter.
Present reports say that Nebraska
has 1000 more girls than boys who are
of school age. a little further along
the girls will give the boys chance
to catch up and pass them in age
matter.-OA city blizzard.
Men grumble because cabbage is
used as substitute for tobacco in
cigars but they would probably grum-
BILE more if the best Havana tobacco
should be served with their cOrned-
beef as a substitute fJr cabbage
PUck.
James Smith, of North Carolina,
turned up an emerald while blowing
near Greensboro. Many a man has
plowed day in and day out without
turning up anything more surprising
to him than nest of yellow Jackets
MiddletolCn Transcript.
A Harrisburg man boasts that lie
can split bullets on the edge of
Ratchet sixty feet away, but we can't
see what good that would do him. He
could dull up Ratchet ten times as
quickly by giving it to a servant girl
to cut kindlings with. -Phi,dGe3phia
NeoOs.
"Pa, did you hear that report that
got out last night?" "What report,
my SOM" 1.-The report of a pistol"
The old man was arrested for chasing
the boy with Ratchet, but was dis
charged when the facts were made
known, with the advice to kill him
next time.-Grit.
A farm item remarks that in fly
time COWS should be kept in stalls
This is for the convenience of the fly,
increasing his opportunity of conccn-
tration and economizing much valuable
time that would be otherwise consumed
in chasing a frisky heifer through
ten-acre lot.-Rome Sentinel.
The Nevada way Of catching bears
is for one man to feed the animal with
salt, while second slips around and
ties his hind legs together. When the
second man weakens and takes to his
heels it's mighty embarrassing for the
feeding man, especially when the salt
is nearly gone-Boston Post.
A New York photographer says
that babies are among their best Gus
toners, because baby changes so
much every few months. Months
What kind of babies Go they have in
Gotham? Hereaway baby that
couldn't change twenty thousand
times during the taking of one picture
wouldn't be considered worthy of the
name.-Bostoa Transcript.
LOVE LETTERS.
If thou, Miss, wouldst LEV8
My woes with Y p ID NC,
And me no more M AC8
Say thou art not mine N Nj E.
True love in its mot
My boldness must Gus; q
So let no N NJ ret
My daring hopes l. NJ N8.
Thy beauty & Inc
My efforts will l. RS,
And always o b DNC
To thee from me shall NJ N8.
For thou art my f N E T:
/ hail thee as my ID L Il;
And if love with N r. G,
Ascribe il to my L @.