The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1883-09-10
nABRY.
Mr.: Nasty Has n Dream in which Ihe
Troubles thai Attend u Reorganization
ofthe Democracy Appear Most WILDLY.


wuz influenced from the he'd, while mint
cum mostly from the stumick, witch is fit
tin. Their ain',t no espeshel bead in the av
rige Dimocrat to influence, while all Nv eu
hey stumick. An angel hoyerin around
wuz the coz Nv dreems in the profettik
days nv yore, while mine Is sooperindoobl
mostly by cold pork or bolony sassige.
That's the difference between the dreem nv
q profit and the dreem NV a Dimocrat.
ldreemed last mite. l he'd bin partakin
nv a free lunch which Bascom sot in honor
nv his twenty.flith anniversary, and e.
Deekin POgram he'd jist sold q mule for
each, he WIZ libral in settin Nv EN- up, and
the result WIZ | rolled under the table and
slept all mite, BaScom crooelly lockin up
the bar go that et | shoodGwakeI I coodenft
do him any damage by takin drinks and
forgettin to mark em down. Foolish man!
Ez 1 never eggspect 10 pay anyhow why
shooden'tI mark EN- down.
But l slept and dreamed. l dreemed
that we had looked over the hull teeld and
desided that by keeriul and akoot manage
ment we Good elect q Dlmercratic President
In 1854. Somehow the management NV the
entire business he'd sort O. drifted into my
hands, and ! wuz m~arshellin the forces and
maxim the disposishen NV everything con.
neCted with the campane.
"Now 'look-a.here," l remarked to EN-,
'ther seems to be a p~rejoodis agin the old
style Dimocrisy. A record SIGH ez we hey
Is q nifty bad thing for q party witch is goin
to fife u battle on the single ishoo NV Re-
form, and with the n single war.cry, The
rascals must go!' In sich a fife them witch
hez bin Understandable to tho people
at large must keep in the background till
after the tite is won. Ez the ishoo Is to DO
new, we want the corpses to ramain buried
until jist after the battle, mother, when
they may resureCt and come in ior the
spolls ez fast cz they hey o mind TO. Only
they must lay low till alter the ides Nv
November, 1884"
That wus agreed 10 hein nifty good sense,
andl perceeded to arrange the line nv bat.
tie. l showed the old Dimocrisy into the
background, all them with b"utternut
clothin, and put in the front the moo re-
croots which We he'd won fromthe Republi.
can party, and SIGH cleen-shirted Dimocrats
ez he'd come up enc the war, and which
hedn't as yet entirely ~gradooated in our
skool, AMI q very handsome line / made
nv 1t. The next question wuz, who shopd
We hev fur standard bearer? was castin
about; looking iur some Goliah OF Gath
without u damagin record, and one with
wind enut fur our purpose, some young
man-too young 10 hev bin obnoxious
doorin the late onpleasantnis, and who he'd
been out Nv the kentry ever ence.
l coodent find exactly the man, but
finally desIded on heyin Hancock TO the
front, Notwithstanding his defeat four
years ago. A bloc uniform takes well at
the North and the South, jedging the man
by his company, hey no objeckshun TO it.
They are shoor Nv q man witch trains with
us, no matter wat color tho yo0niiorm he
wears. And l grouped about him Ben
Butler, who actilly did hang a man wuust,
and Hoadly, Nv Ohio, and q hundred
or mere very new Dimocrats, ez many
more Republicans which had gone OF
with Greeley and stayed, and others WITCH,
becoming disguised with the corrupshens
NV Grant, who woodent give en- places,
he'd sought the companiorship Of Tweed
and Iilden. II wuz a very pretty show |
made with EN-, and our front looked ez
innocent and gileless as moo milk.
But misforchoon alluz follows Dimocrisy.
Jist ez | had am oil arranged ole Sammy
Tilden Gums rollin and staggerin 10 the
front, loadid with his war record, his
Tweed biznis, his Oregon cipher bizais and
his literary buro, and all the rest NV it,
hanein to him; so loadid. tdown in fact,
that he coodent waddle, much less run, and
he snatched the banner out Nv my hand,
and with a smile that was sweetnis ITSELF,
remarked:
"Uv course l must kerry this"
"The blszes you willW sed l. "You?"
"Certainly-L must be vindicated. Ell
we don't yindicate NE, wat is the yoose nv
a Dimekratic victory? Ell Dimekrats witch
hey borue the heat and burden Nv the day
amt put to the front, why Dimocrisy?'
Hepassed down the linetill he staggered
to the center and bumped up agin Han.
cock, witch stood on a slippery place (all
in our ranks stand on slippery places witch
knocked Hanock orr his pins and he went
on with his orashun:
"a Dimekratic victry without me to the
fore woodent be a Dimekratic victry at all.
It 10 doc me. l wuz defrauded out nv the
Presidency. l bought the Presidency and
pade for 1t q good milyun Nv dollars nv
hard cash. But l didn't git II. 1t is my
turn now. l must be vindicatid."
"Avant!" Ishreeked. 1--WE amt in tho
vindicatin bizuis. Wedon't want vindica.
sheps-we want postofIises. Wat do We
keer for vindicashens I? Git out"
But It wuz Nv no avail. With strength
for wich / didn't give him credit he clutch.
ed the banner and held Il, loaded ez he
wuI.
Ard immejitly Their wuz a movement
from behind that wuz simply appalin.
John Kelly, witch I had hid in the rear
rank, plunged toithe front, all the old Cop.
pefheds and SeceSh Nv the old times cum
rushin up In plane site, all remarkin that
Of they wuEn't to be viudtcatid why o ite
at all? and Nv EN- claimin that the Cheef
end Nv the Dimocrisy wuz to vindicate
them. This one grabbed q post.otis, wich,
he sed, wux necessary for his vindicashun,
another q Custom.house, another q nomi.
shen to the Governership Nv his State,
and 80 on all around. It wuE es perfeck
q pandemonium ez ever l see. And to
make the matter wuss the rush wuzn't con.
fined to the Twin. The ghosts Nv ded Dim.
ikrats lowered over EN-, Bmilin, Bsyin that
while they coodent vote or be voted for,
their memories must be v%indicated, and
without such vindicashin ther wuE no
yoose for q Dimicrisy at oil. The COST Nv
Boss Tweed sailed In, and that NV Jesse D.
Brite, nv 1njeapy, which ought to hev bin
forgotten fifteen years ago, wux very prom,
inent, and In hreel ell ther wuz q man liviu
espeshly obnoxious 10 the people, oY the
sost nv . man whose memry wuE pertiker
y unBavory, they wuE all Their and conspic'
nous.
The efskt wux suthen eleutrickle, The
dissatisfied Republicans which he'd drifted
into our ranks becoz Nv our Civil Servil
b'Snis and difference on tho money ques
ton and the Tariff and SIGH causes, helt
their noses o mint and then began q STAN
p' Thar ia'taOoyoose," sed they in Eoruu