National Republican., 1883-02-03
BREAKFAST BITS.

" But I'm afraid I'll iall,"
Slowly they glided DER the ice
And talked of love and weather,
A small boy skated in their path,
And down they went together,l
Long trains arc fashionable-on railways.
THERE'S one divorce to every ten weddings
in Maine.
THE early valentine is in bloom in many
shop windows.
THE New York legislature is graphing
with tho toy pistol
a COY baby is on exhibition in Georgia who
has four arms and four legs
THE Boston definition of Irritation is lat
tentions without Intentions"
A D1DN'T-know-it-was loaded pistol punc-
tured Thomas Fraynor at Xenia
ATLANTA claims to have young lady with
he finest and prettiest hair in the United States
B1sMARck's pugnacity developed early in
life. When a student he is said to have fought
twenty duels
IT's cold day when an Ohio boy can't find
hole in the ice to fall through and make an an
gel Of himself
ONE of the leaders of the Delaware senate
IS DR.. Mustard. lie draws well, and is reckoned
q very smart man.
II is argued that crime does not pay, but
last year the Ohio penitentiary paid profit of
$4,000 to the state.
EVERY cloud has silver lining. If State
Treasurors Polk and Vincent did steal state funds,
they left the safes behind them
ST. LOUIS has one saloon for every 23O souls.
And yet the average st. Louisan is as dry as q
powder horn oil the time.
In is said that Tom Thumb tried to knock
down n Chicago hackman and was mad because
the hackman didn't know It.
PRISONER died the other day in tho
county jail at Uniontown, Pa, who had been in
the prison over iilly.o years.
THE very meancst boy in existence saw u
man III the act Of slipping down and yelled to
him: "Thero's an egg in your hip.pocket"
ALL the pugilistic encounters that take place
nowadays are described as "brutal." Did any
| body ever see refining, gentlemanly prize fght2
II is said that Baron Alfred dc Rothschild,
of London, is about to marry his cousin, Mile.
| Beatrice, daughter Of Baron Alphonse, of Paris
| He is 40, she Is.
| A MAN in England who had been drunk
for thirty years died few hours after sobering
| up. There is q terrible lesson in this incident
that should be headed.
ANNA DICKINSON is living at Honesdale
When her health is fully restored she will give
readings in the west, with the hope Of retrieving
het failure as an actress.
IN Columbus, last week, the bachelor friends
| of Il young bridegroom serenaded the young
couple ut midnight with portable steam engine.
The toots aroused half the town.
New YORK has one fool, the man who eats
the quails. Philadelphia has two, couple Of
fellows who, are to try on q wager who can drink
the largest quantity of schuylkill water.
A TREE was cut few weeks ago in Hemp
stead county, Alabama. that measured twenty-six
feet in circumference. 1t took six men, working
constantly, halfa day to fell it.
CINCINNATI claims a dog which is so sem
sitive minded that he will howl in the most sor-
rowful manner when he sees brunette woman
go past with red bow at her throat.
WHEN doting lover calls his tootsey-woot-
sey "benzoic sulphanide," he is up in the latest
scientific discoveries, and refers to product Of
coal tar which Is "sweeter than sugar"
A NEWARK, IN. J.) woman went to sec
around the World in Eighty Days" the other
evening, and was shocked to see her daughter,
who had mysteriously disappeared several weeks
before, among the scantly clothed coryphecs.
THE SchuyllSill river has, in some way,
without the aid of science or investigation, puri-
fed itself. and the water is once moro fit to drink
and TO wash in. This will break the corner on
beer.
pleasantly excited ono evening recently by the
towncrier, who had been sent around by chem
ist to cry that he (the chemisD had sold poison
instead Of magnesia to some person unknown.
If, as inventors and scientists assert, that
the wasted energy of Niagara falls and Of the
swell of the can be utilized and transmitted
to all the machinery of all the factories in the
world why can not kind of harness be made to
fit the lower jaw of a barber?
A KEEN student of human nature must have
written the following: "When you see young
man sailing down street shortly after midnight
with collar mashed down his neck, you can make
/, up your mind there's young girl crawling up
stairs not fur distant, with her shoes under her
arm and an exlinguished lamp in her hands"
coLoRED man prayed that the Lord
} would send an angel Gabriel, and promised he
would be ready TO go with him. lie was over
heard by three young men, who Kicked on the
door, aud in answer to the query, "Who's there?"
replied, "The angel Gabriel" Uncle Pete, the
r colored man, blew out the light and shouted,
0 Uncle Pete amt here.'
4 A FAMILY in Madison, Ohio, nineteen years
: ago, purchased paper of pins. When pin was
4 needed 1t was taken from the paper, and after 1t
had served its purpose was replaced 1fa pin was
lost general search was made until It was found.
In this way the one paper of pins has kept the
family supplied for nineteen years. Hows that
4 for economy?
n THE thiclest skull on record is an Ohio
: negro's. A bullet was fred at him from 4i-cali-
ber revolver at "a distance of only hve feet and
f struck him squarely in the back of the head 1t
: was cold day for that bullet. II dropped on the
floor flatter than pancake, while the negros
skull remained intact, and he turned on his as
sailant and slugged him In true sullivan style,
A REMARKABLE divorce suit was recently
pending in the courts Of Kentucky. Mary J..
. Leber aged 20, applied for a divorce from
u John Leiber, aged 0O on the ground of deser-
: tlon. The old man denied the charge of abandon
o ment, and said that his wife had grown tired of
v him and left without any fault of his and that he
was unable to keep up two establishments or sup
= port her separately and apart from him, The
- court, in refusing to grant the divorce, told the
plaintiff that she would soon be divorced by u
a higher tribunal whose Judgment was infallible
Il and more effective than any the court could rem
70 der. She was informed that in common decency
10 she should be content to wait"
% - A PATERSON (N J.) schoolgirl of color has
% got more than even with her fastidious class
,t mates sh, selected pearl gray silk TO wear on
!, class day, as best adapted to her style and COM
IN pleXion, wheTeupOn her white associates deter
mined to wear white, TO mark distinction with
p a difference. Schoolgirl like, however, they
"a couldn't keep their decision secret and the col
l. ored girl learning Of their decision gave out That