The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-10-10
WIT an, rsH--ANTRY.

To cleanse brass-catch your book agent,
hold him under the pump and sponge him
with bar of sand soap.
Is it dudeP Yes. it is dude Was it
always that way? Yes, natural born. What
does il do for a living? 1t breathes, dear:
don't disturb it Boston Traveller.
The eagle feels best at a height of 1900
feet above the EARTH while the minute you
get a man on the roof OF a horse block his
knees begin to weaken and he can't remem-
Der word beyond ''Fellow-citizens."
An aged physician who practiced much
among the ladies, made large fortune. 1t
was his custom to say TO every feminine
patient, SHOW me your tongue, honey!
There that will do, dear. You will be well
in week thank God my dear"
II have been married now" boosted prosy
old fellow, more than 30 years, and have
never given my wife cross word" That's
because you never dared, uncle" said little
nephew who lived with them; if you had
Auntie would have made you jump"
Faint hearted young should take
courage. Only three and One-half months
more before leap year Girls here's q pointer
as TO your chances with a Procrastinating
lover. There's lots OF fellows, however, who,
when they read this, will skip TO the woods
AS Rev. Dr. Bowman was about to begin
his sermon at Ocean Grove recently, he re-
marked: MANY of you have never seen
me. and in all probability many of you will
enthusiastic brother. The minister smiled
with the congregation.
a young lady artist married young gen
tleman artist The uncle of the bride made
call upon them and found them sitting
in opposite corners of their joint studio in
the Sulks the husband saying that his wifes
waist was out of proportion, and the wife
saying that her husbands nose was too
small
We are never at loss for good excuse for
our evil deeds, and resemble the eloquent
darkey who said to the judge Judge, was
.sufierin' awful from 'mOtional sanity, cos,
dom yer see. l only took dat little pullet
when / might took big rooser. But, Judge
/ strained myself an didn' do it, an 1 ought
ter be let of"
"Aw, can you sell me, aw, blue necktie
TO match my eyes, you known inquired an
Austin dude in a gentleman's furnishing
store. Don't know how l can, exactly" re-
piled the salesman, but think can fit you
with soft hat to match your head" Then
the dude withdrew from the store,
crushed, strawberry hue suffusing his effemi-
nate features.
Did You ever think that when we get to
Heaven-if we do get tlrere-nost profession
ri gentlemen Will be thrown out of employ
ment? The doctor will have nothing to do,
because everybody will be wen; the lawyer
Will have 20 take his sign down and seek
some honest employment, because there will
be no Quarrels and no litigation, and the
minister can't preach his old sermons any
more, because the people viii be too good to
listen to them.
Didn't l tell you thatI didn't want to see
you here any moreP' said the police Judge
TO cOlOred gentleman. Yes, sab And
didn't you tell me that you wouldn't get
dsunk again. Yes, sah.'' Then why are
you drunk again?" '"Case I tole yer a lie,
boss; an look heah, sab, doan put no con
fidence in a niger, case he'll get yer shO.
kanSaw Traveller.
morrow Church. On, yes; 1 guess so.
Who holds forth?" .'Oh, let's see. Miss
CrescendO is to sing an aria Miss Pianissimo
will MARBLE a Bit Bravura he is TO hum on
the tenor side and old Andante will come in
somewhere on the chorus IL will be up"
But who preaches?'' THAT makes no diff
ference. Some fellow who will touch up our
tTansgressions mighty light. Not from the
New York Observer.
When Adam from his sleep awoke
A RADIANT creature met his eyes.
Whose beauty OF his vision broke
As breaks The morn meath tropc skies.
With wonder Adam stood transfxed-
Another day had just begun
She crossed his vision Just betwixt
The dawn and rising OF the
'"Iis Morn" said be, lin human guise,
Fair morn, my homage pray receive"
Tie vision blushed, cast down her eyes.
And said. II am moi Morn, but Eve"
Boston Traveller.
Curran was once defending an attorneys
bill of costs before Lord Clara. Here, now"
said the Judge, sis a fagitious imposition;
how can you defend this item, Mr.. Curran?
To writing innumerable letters, flO0.'"
why, my Lord" said Curran, nothing can
be more reasonable. 1t is not penny a let
ter" And Curran's reply to Judge Robinson
is exquisite in its way: III commit you
sir" said the Judge. II hope you'll never
commit worse thing, my Lord" retorted
Curran.
A picked eleven of lawyers from Liverpool
played a cricket match with picked eleven
of lawyers from Manchester. The day was
beautifully fine, and a large company had
assembled to see which set of lawyers had
had the most practice, With the first ball OF
the second over: however, dispute arose,