The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1883-08-17
THAT BAD BOY,
Rough Time RehearsIng Amateur Churc,
Theatricals.
Peck's Sun.

<6ckS sun.
81 am thy fathers ghost" said a sheeted
form in the doorway of the grocery, one
evening, and the grocery man got behind the
cheese box, while the ghost continued In
sepulchral voice, "doomed for certain time
to walk the night" and, waving chair
round the ghost strobe up to the grocery
man, and with the other ghostly band
reached into box of figs.
"No you amt no ghost" said the grocery
man recognizing the bad boy. "Ghosts do
not 90 psowlng around groceries stealing
wormy figs. What do you mean by this sim
full masquerade business My father never
had no ghost"
10, we have struck IL now" said the bad
boy, as he pulled off bis mask and rolled up
the sheet he had worn around him. We are
going to have amateur theatricals to raise
money to have the church carpeted, and
am going to boss the job"
"You don't say" answered the grocery
man, as he thought how much he could sell
to the church people for O strawberry and
Ice cream festival, and how little he could
sell for amateur theatricals. "Who Is going
into IL, and what are you going to play?"
"Pa and ma, and me, and the minister,
and three choir singers, and my chum, and
the minister's wife, and two deacons, and an
old maid are rehearsing, but we have not
decided what to play yet. They all want to
play different play, and / am fixing it so
they can all be satisfied. The minister wants
to play Hamlet, pa wants to play Rip Van
Wrinkle, ma wants TO play Mary Anderson,
the old maid wants to play boarding house
play, and the choir singers want an opera,
and the minister's wife wants to play Lady
Macbeth, and my chum and me want to play
o double song and dance, and am going TO
give them all show. We had a rehearsal
last night, and am the only one able to be
around to-day. You see they have all been
studying different plays, and they all wanted
TO talk at once. We let the minister sail in
first. He had on pair Of his wife's black
stockings, and q mantle made of linen
buggy lap blanket, and he wore mason's
cheese knife such as these fellows with poke
bonnets and white feathers wear when they
get an invitation to o funeral or an excur-
sion. Well, you never saw Hamlet murder
ed the way he did 1t. HIS Interpretation of
the character was that Hamlet was dude
that talked through his nose, and while he
was repeating Hamlet's soliloquy, pa, who
had come in with an old hunting suit on, as
Rip Van Wrinkle, went to sleep, aud he
didn't wake up till Lady Macbeth came in,
10 the sleep walking scene. She couldn't
find knife, so / took slice Of watermelon
and sharpened 1t for her, and she made a
mistake in the one she was TO stab, and she
stabbed Hamlet in the neck with slice Of
watermelon, and the core of the melon fell on
pas face, as be lay asleep as Rip, and when
Lady Macbeth said, 'Out damned spot pa
woke up and felt The COB of watermelon on
bis face and he thought he was murdered, and
ma came in on hop, skip and jump, as par
thenia,' and threw her arms around dea-
con who was going tn play the grave digger,
and began to call him pet names, and pa was
mad, aud the choir singers they began TO
sing, In the North sea lived a whale, and
rhen they quit acting. You'd dide to zee
Hamlet. The piece of watermelon went
down his neck; and Lady Macbeth went off
and left II In The wound under the collar,
and na had 10 pull it out, aud Hamlet said
the seeds anc the jnice was running down
inside his shirt, and be said he wouldn't play
| if he was going TO be stabbed with slice o:
melon, so while his wife was fishing the
| melon seeds out Of his neck with long hair
pin aud drying the juice On his shirt, 1
| sharpened cucumber for Lady Macbeth to
use for dagger, but Hamlet kicked on Gu
| cumbers, too. and | had more trouble than
| ANY manager ever had. Then pa wanted to
rehearsr The drunken scene 10 Rip Van Win
! kls, where he hugs Grechteu and drinks out
f'of a flask behind her hs.k, and hc got one of
! he c0,ir singers to NJ a. Grechteu, and [
! guess he would bsvr h~"u luggiuy her iiii
| This time, and have "a all" T"d The flask If ma
! had u"l took hlm 10y ll'r ear. and said little
! nj ths, n"uld ga Il g'""i sa>s III an eiiisr'
taiHmrr,L J"r the church. Pa -ai'i Il" didn't
! know A. u Was any w"ts" Ina" her Praneing
| mn ir a grave digger ar huGkrrs him IN the
| filing came out III h's teeth, aud Then the
minister decided THAI We wouldn't bave any
hugsing u, all IN The play, and Lbo choir girls
ssid they woaldnt play, and tho old maid
struck. and The play cnme TO stand still"
| - - -
1