The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1883-04-18
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and sat down on the chair with the back
gone, and looked very tired.
20, darn the baby. Everybody asks me
about the baby as though It was mine.
/ don't pay no attention to the darn
thing, except to notice the foOlishness
going on around the house. Say, l guess
that baby will grow up to be fire en-
gine. The nurse coupled the baby on to
section of rubber hose that runs down
into bottle Of milk. and 1t began to get
up steam and pretty soon the milk be-
gan to disappear, just like water does
when fire engine couples on to hy-
drant. Pa calls the baby old Number
4GwO.' am Number One and il pa had
book and ladder truck and a hose cart
and gong he would imagine he was
chief engineer Of the fire department.
But the baby kicks on this milk wagon
milk. and hOwls like a dog that's got
lost. The doctor told pa the best thing
he could do was to get goat, but pa
said since we 'ntshiated him into the
MasOns with the goat he wouldn't have
goat around no how. The doc told
pa the other kind of a goat, think it
was Samantha goat he said, wouldn't
kick with his head, and pa sent me up
into the POlack settlement to see If /
couldn't borrow milk goat for cOu-
pie Of weeks. got a woman to lend us
her goat till the baby got big enough to
chew beef, for dollar week, and paid
dollar in advance, and pa went up in
the evening to help me get the goat.
Well, 1t was the darndest mistake you
ever see. There was two goats 80 near
alike you couldn't tell which was the
goat we leased, and the other goat was
the chum of our goat, but 1t belonged to
a Nirish woman. We got bed cord
hitched around the Irish goat, and that
goat didn't recognize the lease, and
when we tried to jerk 1t along 1t rared
ri nm nA 10 oI fat-
for pa. l don't know what there is about
goat that makes 1t so spunky, but that
goat seemed to have q grudge against
pa from the start. If there were any
places on pas manly form that the goat
did not explore, with his head, pa don't
know where the places are. o, it LAM
med him, and when 1 laffed, pa got mad
told him every man ought to furnish
his own goats when he had baby, and
let go the rope and started off, and pa
said he knew how 1t was, / wanted
him to get killed. 1t wasn't that, but
saw the Irish woman that owned the
goat coming around the corner of the
house with cistern pole. Just as pa
was getting the goat out of the gate the
goat got crOssways of the gate and pa
yanked and doubled the goat right up,
and thought he had broke the goats
neck, and the woman thought 80 too,
for she jabbed pa just below the belt
with the cistern pole, and she tried to
get hold of pas hair, but he had her
there. No woman can get the adyan-
tage of Pa there, cause ma has tried it.
Well, pa explained 1t to the woman, and
she would let pa off il he would pay her
50 for damages to the goat, and he paid
1t, and then we took the nanny goat and
1t went right along with us. But have
got my opinion of a baby that will drink
goats milk. Gosh, 1t is like this stuff
khnk Nvn ,..au Ia m
baby hasn't done anything but blat
since the nurse coupled it onto the goat
hydrant. l had to take all my play |
things out Of the basement to keep the |
goat from eating them. l guess the |
milk will taste of powder and singed |
hair now. The goat got to eating some
Roman candles me and my chum had put |
away In coal bin, and chewed them up
around the furnace, and the powder |
leaked out and a coal fell out of the fur |
mace on the hearth, and you would have |
died to see pa and the hired girl and the |
goat. You see pa can't milk nothing
but milk wagon, and he got the hired |
girl to milk the goat, and they were |
just hunting around the basement for l
the goat with a tin cup, when the fire. |
works went-of. Well, there were balls |
Of green, and red, and blue fire, and |
spilled powder blazed up, and the goat |
just looked astOnished, and looked on as |
: though 1t was sorry SO much good fOd- |
der was spoiled, but when its hair began |
to burn, the goat gave one snort and |
went between pa and the hired girl like |
1t was shot out Of cannon, and it upset |
pa over wash boiler into the coal bin, |
and sent the hired girl In amongst the
kindling wood, and she crossed herself /
and repeated the catekism, and the goat |
jumped up on top of the brick furnace, |
and they couldn't get 1t down. heard /
the celebration and went down and |
took pa by the pants aud pulled him out |
OF the coal bin, and he said he would
surrender, and plead guilty of being the
biggest fool In Milwaukee. 1 pulled the /
ktnd1ing wood off the hired girl, and l
she got mad, and said she would milk
that goat or die. o, that girl has got 1
sand. She used to work In the glass
factory: Well, sir, it was sight worth
two shilling admission to see that hired
girl get up on step ladder to milk that |
goat on top of the furnace, with pa sit
ting on a barrel of potatoes, bOssing the
job. They are going to fix gang plank
to get the goat down off the furnace.
The baby kicked on the milk last night.
l guess besides tasting of powder and I
burnt hair, the milk was too warm on
account of being too near the furnace.
Pa has got to grow a new crop of hair
on that goat or the woman wont take it
back. She don't want any bald goat.
Well, they can run the baby and the
goat to suit themselves, cause 1 have
resigned. l have gone into business.
Don't you smell something that would
lead you to surmise that had gone into
business9 No drug store this time"
and the boy got up and put his thumbs
in the afmholes Of his vest and looked
proud. Il
40, don't know as smell anything
except the faint OdOr of horse blanket.
What business have you gone into, any
wayP" and the grocery keeper put the
wrapping paper under the counter, and
put the red chalk in his pocket, so the
boy couldn't write any sign to hang up
outside,
''You hit it the first time. 1 have ac-
cepted asituatiOn Of teller In livery
stable, said the boy, as he scar
ched around for the barrel of cut sugar,
which had been removed.
TELLER In livery stablel Well, that
Is new one to me. What is teller in
livery stableP What does he do?"
And the grocery man looked pleased,
and pointed the boy to barrel Of seven