Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-09-15
Saturday Smiles.

II seems to the Chicago Times just little
singular that Mr.. Frank James did not receive
congratulatory dispatch from Mr.. Dorsey.
Darwin says monkeys could blush. This re-
lieves the dude of the suspicion of belonging to
the monkey tribe.-Boston Post.
Young ladies should not forget that Goliath
died from the effects of bang on his fore
head.-Neso York Commercial Advertiser
A Texas owl mistook q sleeping mans head
for a chicken, and fastened its claws into his
hair and scalp. .'Welr what's the matter now,
old woman" said the asss&Gd, as he awoke.-
Jersey City Journal
'Really, love, had delightful time at the
ball last night" 81 should Judge so. darling;
heard you. three times, order the waiter to bring
more cherrapin and tampagne. Life.
The fishing season is about over, and a man
doesn't feel 1t so much at this time Of year II his
wife trades off his fishing suit for plaster cast
of Robert Burns.-BoSton Post.
The people of Dakota say they are proud OF
Bismarck, for whom their capital is named.
Bismarck says he is proud OF the people OF Da-
kOta. Are the wrongs OF the American hogs SO
quickly forgotten? dgnifed silence should
script.
Burdette wants us to observe one thing about
railway lunch counters: "The man who growls
the most also eats the most, ana the fellow who
Jokes about the indestructlble sandwiches thinks
he is In hard luck III he doesn't get away with
half a dozen before the gong strikes"
By some means or other the New Orleans Pic.
0ytlne has found out tn at when man Is put out
of Office and wants to be let down easy. his SUBJ
ordinates give him 81 gold-headed cane. to
receive which costs him S37 for wine.
Ii you want to experiment on the adhesive
ness Of affection, endeavOr to divorce a LAZY boy
from warm bed on q cold winter morning.
breckenridge Neaps.
"No," said Mrs. Shoddy, "I don't care SO
much because I never had any children; never
liked children, You know. But should like to
have one, 30 that could have nurse in o lace
cap to take care of it when 1 go to the sea-
shore. It's 30 stylish, you know."-Bosto"
Transcript
One of the mysteries OF human nature is that
q woman can wind her hair up like rope and
stuff it In her mouth with lot OF harpins. and
still be able TO utter distinctly more words In
two minutes than q man can say 10 week. Or o
shorthand reporter take down In three DAVIS
Puck.
The Blessings of Day: Gold is not the only
thing that glitters. Much the greater part OF
the great sum total Of daily shine emanates from
substances decidedly more humble and more
common. Here ia list OF yesterdays small
blessings: On waking, to lie abed ten minutes
longer. To be able to put on big shoes instead
urable surprise at finding umbrella not tsken
during breakfast. Comfort OF being at Office in
time to read paper and assume etudious attitu
before Smith gets down. Consciousness that
smith a late Ditto that he is very late. Mo-
mentary thrill at throwing mucIlage pot at or
gan-grinder below window Sef-commeada-
tory consciousness that Smith has q head ON
him. Comfortable feeling all day over Smth's
state and bis resulting idleness. Much corfou
in loafing because Smith does even less. Com
placency at refusing two cocktails before dinner.
Comfort In B. 4 s. taken with Smith and In
benevolent recognition Of his state. Diilaer,
and In particular the cold apple PIE with caeese.
Self.congratulation that have not got to marry
Girl with frizzy hair engaged to Jones. Com
fort IN thinking Jones hes got to marry her
Comfortable nap in Office chair while preserving
appearance OF work. Satisfaction az hearing
Smith say he has had two more drinks. befauss
myself have had none. Joy ut findinxc. Mfs
Rogers not at home. and leaving cardIrTea.
Novel Cigar. Bcd--Life. tft