The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-10-10
THE BAD BOY ON A FARM.
HE TELLS THE GROCERY MAN HIS
DoLEFUL EXPERIENCE.


Knows When lie Has G0tEnouEh--How G
the Farmer Made Him Flax Around.
"Want to buy any cabbages?" said
the bad boy to the grocery man, as he
stopped at the door of the grocery,
dressed in a blue wamus, his breeches
tucked in his boots, and an old hat on
his head, with hole that let out his
hair through the top. He had got out
Of a democrat wagon, and was holding
the lines hitched to a horse about
forty years old, that leaned against the
hitching-post to rest. "Only shil-
ling apiece"
"Oh, go way" said the grocery
man. al only pay three cents apiece"
And then he looked at the boy and
said: Hello, Hennery, is that you?
l have missed you all the week, and
now you come on to me sudden, dis
guised as granger. What does this
all mean?"
"It means that L have been the
victim of as vile a conspiracy as ever
was known since Cesar was stabbed
and Mark Antony Grated over his
prostrate corpse in the Roman forum
to an audience Of supes and scene
shifters," and the boy dropped the lines
on the sidewalk, and said: "Whoa, gol
blame you," to the horse that was
asleep, wiped his boots on the grass in
front Of the store and came in and
seated himself on the old half-bushel.
"There, this seems like home again"
"What's the row? Who has been
playing it on your" and the grocery
man smelled sharp trade in cabbages,
as well as other smells peculiar to the
farm.
"Wel, I'll tell you. Lately our
folks have been constantly talking of
the independent life of the farmer, and
how easy it is, and how they would
like it if 1 would learn to be a farmer.
They said there was nothing like it,
and several of the neighbors Joined in
and said had the natural ability to
be one of the most successful farmers
in the State. They all drew pictures
of the fun it was to work on a farm,
where you could get your work done
and take your fish-pole and go off and
catch fish, or gun and go out and
kill game, and how you could ride
horses, and pitch hay, and smell the
sweet perfume, and go to husking bees
and dances, and everything, and they
got me all worked up so l wanted to
go to work on farm. Then an old
deacon that belongs to our church,
who runs farm about eight miles out
of town, he came on the scene and
said he wanted a boy, and if | would
go out and work for him he would be
easy on me because he knew my folks,
and we belonged to the same church.
can see 1T now. 1t was all
put up job on me, just like they
play three card monte on fresh stran-
ger. l was took in. BY gosh, L have
been out there a week, and here's what
there is left of me- The only way 1
got a chance to come to town was to
tell the farmer | could sell cabbages to
you for shilling apiece. l knew you
sold them for fifteen cents and l
thought you would pay a shilling. So
the farmer said he would pay me my
wages in cabbages at shilling apiece,
and only charge me a dollar for horse
and wagon to bring them in. So you
only pay three cents. Here are thirty
cabbages, which will come to ninety
cents. l pay dollar for the horse,
and when l get back to the farm 1 owe
the farmer ten cents, beside working
week for nothing. Oh, it is all right.
don't kick, but this ends farming for
Hennery. l know when 1 have got
enough of an easy life on a farm. L
prefer hard life, breaking stones on
the streets, to an easy, dreamy life on
farm"
"They did play it on you, didn't
they" said the grocery man. "But
wasn't the old deacon a good man to
work for"
Good man nothin," said the boy,
as he took up a piece of horse rad
ish and began to CRATE it on the inside
of his rough hand. Il tell you there's
a heap of difference in a deacon in
Sunday-schoo, telling about sowing
wheat and tares, and deacon out on
a farm in a hurrying season, when
there is hay to get in and wheat to
harvest all at the same time. l went
out to the farm Sunday evening with
the deacon and his wife, and they
couldn't talk too much about the nice
time we would have, and the fun; but
the deacon changed more than lorty
degrees in five minut after we got
cut to the farm. He jumped out Of
the wagon and pulled off his coat and
let his wife climb out over the wheel,
and yelled to the hired girl to bring
out the milk pail, and told me to fly
around and unharness the horse, and
throw down a lot of hay for all the
work animals, and then told me to run
down to the pasture and drive up a lot
Of cows The pasture was half mile
away, and the COWS were altered
around in the woods, and the
mosquitoes were thick, and l
got all covered with. mud and burrs,
and stung with thistles, and when
cot the cattle near to the house the oil