The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1883-05-23

grows, andthat they have. even produced
that morbid stAteol imagining himself Q
soholar, grAmmAfiau, IN fact one OF those
singled out subjects Of humanity who are en-:
lowed with everything, o forestallinent OF
which to Q mentally beIeft public II: We
boldly assert, s sad calamity, yea beyond the
comprehension Of aud detrimental TO this rest
OF mankind. By iAkingtheD Doctor to test will
not ask for bis diploma, mol but simply apply
to that corner OF his brain which sesns to be
separetedly fenced In and tlled with tho
choicest English literature. Before l proceed;
the attention II called to the fact thst al
those who have heretofore enjoyed tbs priv.
lege OF the Doctors acquaintance, need not
peruse this article, owing 10 the fact that the
DoCtor's attninInents must have been too con.
splcuous Is 10 incur a further commentary at
my hands for their special edltifation.
Now, learned Doctor, tell me the defects In
the sentences: 81, p%ercharce, happened TO
listen to q very thrilling venture" THE OBJ.
lection you might raise Is that one could not
listen, but must have seen, or II having, fur.
thermore, an anticipation" or "a practical
life, %engenderiug adventure" Apply. to
your mind and ny to override Its defective
nest and Just quote from that portion which
is wholly sound,-thon establish by untm.
peachable evidence the superiority OF your
mental acquisition and SO will bow our
heads In sublime submission, and gtEs upon
you as one whose greatness Is only superseded
by his childish timidliy The anuonnceuienl:
"Ds. Ulrich's buggy Is demolished" how sad
q one TO the doctor, but how Insignificant to
the public! No coiumotion ensued, no
specials" were furnished the ASSOCIATED
Press" Nobofy, perhaps, would have been
spprispd u this impOr ant fact had II not
been for the doctor, who comes forth with
three diverse soripIin three diverte papers.
We will not speak OF the Doctors bad, yes,
very bad English, as We simply attribute IL
to the imperfect noddle OF his, for soma have
cannot avoid 10 ;relsr to his garblti logic,
which he furnished us in o garbled ann
The Doctor says that be first held bis mare by
the head, we suppose to prevent her kicking.
Why did the thoughtful Doctor not apply n
preventative more comprehensive In lis de.
sign and more effective in Its application,
and let the mares head 90 and hold on 10 the
tail? In the INrELLlGEEcIR be asserts that
he drove out to test the motors, or rather
have his mare testit; In the Register be informs
US that he had 10 make q professional call.
Was the mare the p~atientand the motor the
should-be cure to subside her chronic kirk.
ing propensities? Now, Doctor, your great.
ness 10 but OF an imaginary character, because
your articles do not by any means corro-
borate your attitude ~ both grammar and
logic are sad deficiencies that even the title,
'Ductor" can not substitute. The few sen.
fences OF mine were written in haste during
the time you wero astonishing the nations
with the Observation-Disclosures Ia
noun, be dSd)" The few lines Of mine were
perhaps devoid OF icing interlined 10 which
] most cheeriuliy confess guilty" l con-
fess, because l did not deem It o necessity
knowing you to be unable to discern the dill.
ference. The proof reader must have enter.
tanned q similar belief, or that no necessity
existed for a scrutipizlng correction, taking
your and my ability into consideration.
Briefly told, he perhaps thought that my
writing did not need a strict surveillance
while yours probable bad to endure q sweep.
ing correction, it might otherwise have pre-
scented the picture OF "a stoye.pipe on a stick
In the corntisld."
You say, 1t did not concern me in the least,
however, think OF II, Doctor, to pass OF an
old kicking horse for a docile family pet,
that never had been afraid Of the cars, while
her kicking feats lately astonished the people
near the Court House. Ask Thomas Jones
and others. Hereafter confine yourself TO
the s~elf.complaceut satisfaction OF being q
scholar, grammarian and as docile rs your
mare ought to be, l refer to ths adjective
''docile" especially. CASUAL LISTENER.