Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-11-08
Mnluutons department.
SOTHERN'S JOKE.

"~" s"C"""~~'
SOTHERN'S JOKE.
Edward Asken Sothern was an English
actor, but great part of his fame was ac-
quired in the United States. He was par
ticularly successful in his representation of
Lord Dundreary, the English dude, in Tom
Taylor's comedy, "Our American Cousin" !"
He played this part for one hundred and
forty consecutive nights in New York, and,
having gone to London in 1861, he appeared
in the same role for four hundred and nine
ty-six nights: One day Sothern invited a
hour had arrived, and, with one exception,
80 had the guests. "Wemay yaswell begin,"
said Sothern, g. is sure to come, and he
would rather we would not wait for him"
Upon which the company sat down and
were just finishing soup when the card OF
the missing guest was handed to Sothern.
A sudden inspiration of fun led him to pro-
pose that before the gentleman came in they
should all get under thetable. Withoutany
objection, and trusting to SOthern's wit for
some comical denouement, the unsuspecting
fellows hurriedly crept under the table and
awaited results, totally ignorant OF the fact
that their wicked host had not followed
their example, but had quietly continued
his soup.
The belated guest came in full of apology
for his tardiness. "Don't mention it," said
Sothern 'It isn't of the slightest conse-
quence; we are only at the soup; sit down
and be helped"
The gentleman did so, but with a puzzled
look at the empty chairs about the table.
"Oh ~ said Sothern, "you miss the other
gentlemen. They are all here, but, for some
extraordinary reason, they all got under the
foblo yUbof fbo1, doipor iS moro than |
know"
It is easier to imagine than to describe the
variety of expression upon the faces OF the
deluded victims as one by one they came
crawling sheepishly out from under the ta-
BILE.
In 1874 Sothern returned to New York,
and played here and in various large cities
Of the Union. He died in 1881, aged 81.
FR1Tz's DOG SToRY.-There was silence
for few minutes, which Fritz took advant-
age of to remark:
'tI subbose you dinks dose American togs
vas schmart, but dose tOgs must 60 to school
sometimes yet before day comes up init
dose Schermany togs vat We have in de old
counthrie.'
The audience did not agree with Fritz.
They insisted that the German dogs born
and bred under monarchical form OF gov
cFuulcuG WtIS lulOl1OI Ill lutOuCSe W oiiS
free and intelligent CANNES of the United
States, whereupon Fritz told story about
a dog once owned by Fritz's uncle, Ba-
ron Won Schimelpfeng. The baron was
in the habit Of giving the dog small coin
every morning. The intelligent brute was
in the habit of taking the coin to the butch
er, and receiving in return bone, which
constituted the dogs breakfast. This hap
pened every morning for almost year.
About week before Christmas the butcher
missed the morning visit of the dog and
for whole week he did not put in an ap-
pearance. On Christmas morning, however,
the dog trotted into the butchers shop, and
placing six small coins in the butchers
hand, pointed with his nose to roast worth
Just about the amount of money offered.
The animal, instead Of buying a bone every
day, had saved up his money for a whole
week, and invested it in square Christmas
dinner.
Such was the story Fritz told his Ameri-
can friends with perfectly straight face.
One by one his audience slid off the barrels
and counter, one of them remarking:
"It's no use, trying to compete with an
imported liar. He is old Munchausen HIM
self, or whatever his name is" They NOV
ed to the door.
IT wash so sorry about dat tog. De togs
in Schermany vas SO schmart dat dot tog
stood no show. If he had been schmart
like de odder togs in Schermany he would
have bought dot meat on credit and given
hish note for de amount, so mine uncle he
gif dot tog away"
"That'll do, Fritz; that'll do."-7sras
.Sttmgs.