Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1883-04-12
WORLDLY WISDOM.
A Newspaper Nan Advising q Pretty Sun
day School Teacher.


Many are the curious questions pro-
pounded 10 the newspaper of wide
circulation. Some people are unwilling
20 trust the mails with their inquiries,
or are in such great haste TO obtain an
swers that they seek personal inter-
views with the editor. The BROOKLYN
Eagle gives an account Of the visit of a
young lady who had remarkable COM
plication of troubles.
"You won't give me away?" she ex-
claimed, earnestly, as the Questions
Answered man handed her to a chair
and assumed his most sympathetic as
pect- IF mamma knew came to you
there would be no end of fussl But
what could do? | want advice. and
l knew you would give it to me-"
"What is it all about?" inquired the
Questions man, kindly.
81 am in ever so much trouble, and |
want to do what's right" she sighed.
l wish could see my way clear. -"
Sunday School teacherP" asked the
Questions man, eyeing her keenly.
Yes, she replied. II am a Sunday
School teacher, and there are two young
men in love with me. One is so good
that he makes me cry to look at him,
but the other is worldly. He smokes
and plays billiards, and all that sort of
wickedness, but he takes me out and
gives me oysters and cream, while the
other one is home learning Bible verses.
Every time I go with him l feel so
wicked, and when the good one comes
around to go over the lesson with me,
l feel that am not worthy of him. Oh,
what shall / do?'
Don't the good one ever set up any
thingP" asked the Questions man,
scratching his chin.
"Oh, no! He says the oyster houses
and cream saloons are snares and abom-
nations"
"He's right about that" murmured
the Questions man.
"And he says that | should not in
flame my soul with stews or cool it of
with ice cream"
(Which of them has the most money!"
queried the Questions man.
"Oh, the good young man has the
most money" she answered "But he
never takes me ITO the theatre or the
circus or the opera. We go to church
together, and he talks so beautifully of
the sweet by and by. You ought to hear
him."
"What does the other fellow talk
about?"
"Oh, he always talks about rackets,
and wants to know where | would like
to 60 next. But 1 must give one of
them up, and Iwant you to advise me
which l shall keep"
''lt's pretty plain case, think"
commenced the Questions man. "You
should hang on to the bad man who sets
'em up"
Think So" she exclaimed, blushing
with delight. ''Do you really think L
would be happier with him?"
"Stick to him until you marry the
good one. That's obviously your duty
as a Christian. A girl never gets SO
sick of anything as Of a pious lover who
never sets anything up. You cling to
the bad one who buys cream and oys-
ters, and maybe you'll convert him. If
you don't you've got the other fast for
the marry when you get ready to settle
down."
"That's what ma said," faltered the
beauty, modestly casting down her
eyes. "And if you agree with her
l don't see what else there is for me to
do"
''Strikes me that's curious advice,'~
remarked the law reporter, as the girl
went out.
Don't you bother, young man," OBJ
served the Questions man with severity.
That pretty little Sunday School teacher
isn't going to marry either of them.
She just wanted my advice to hold over
that pious chap, and you mark my
words, she'll work both of those fellows
for all the candy, cream, oysters. mat
tinees, operas, and things of that kind
there are in the city of Brooklyn,
from now until the time they all go out
of season."
Sand do you call that Christian ad-
vice. demanded the law reporter.
''Don mind, sonny. She'll go around
and tell what nice lot of fellows we are
here, and it will increase the influence
of this paper among the churches more
than any reporting you can do from
now till that girl gets married, and don't
you forget it!'
And the Questions man went back to
his work, while the law reporter looked
at him with the awe that worldly wis
dom always inspires in the minds of the