New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-12-12
,ell me soa Well, 4 thought the coffee.
tslis r,nl.nindr IA sft,d 4 liftft. hIlI.n

Tell me sc? Veil, i thong 1t the coffee.
this morning tasted little burnt. 8
The craze on electrical study IS be-
ginning to bear fruit. Are you the
conductor?n asked q lad Of q omnibus
guard. am replied the courteous
official. What is your name? e
name is Wood = Oh, that can I be, 8
said the boy, for wood is . non-con-I
ductor. 8 ss
How old would you think my daugh-
ter was, asked a mother of a lady
friend at one of of our summer resorts;
would you think she was 1927 20,
yes" was the candid reply, 81 should
think she was 49, about ten years
ago. They .sneYer speak as they pass
by now,
Does goose lay eggs?'' inquired
Rollo, one brisk morning in breezy
March. And Rollo' S father. sitting be-
hind the stove, eating quinine with q
spoon, and trying to shake his whole
skeleton out Of his pockets, made re.
ply: Eyes, my son, aggue Stays every
thing. It has slain your father
A painter was Dragging Of his won.
derful command Of color to a friend one
day. Els friend did not seem to take
it quite all in Why exclaimed the
painter, .'.do you know there are but
three painters III the world, Sir, who
understand coior!'' ..And who are
sthey?'' at last asked the friend. why,
sir, am one, and-and-and / forget
the names of the other two!'
The Earl of Shaftesbury tells an.
amusing story. He says that in his,
part Of the country Oorsetshire) the
people have a strong prediction for
giving Hebrew names to their children
BY baptism. Sometimes, however, they
&c. a little too far. In the churchyard
Of his own parish there is tombstone
on which the words were engraved,
..Mcthuselah Coney died, aged twelve
months. =
Heavy tragedian, seated at a railway
hotel before a roast chicken: ''Prithee,
landlord, dwells there within the pre-
cincts of this hamlet a machinist?"
Landlord: "a machinist? Yes, sir. .
Tragedian: ''Then take to him this
bird of many springs. Bid him wrench
assunder these iron limbs, and then,
for our regalemen+, to chisel slices from
AGo uAJ lCiuluS UOaOul, =AOl VIC WOu4U
dine anon. And, pray you, do itquick-
~. Your peas you need not carry, for
those, with Gext'rous management, we
can swallow whole. Away!''
Nothing would go beyond an ad.
vertisement we met with lately of a
Yankee auctioneer. It offered for sale
! u ''sweet pensive retirement on the
banks of the Hudson, and after describ-
ing the streams of sparkling bright
ness" and the fruits of the tropics in
golden beauty mentions that 1'the
| stables are worthy Of the steeds. of MINI
| rod or the studs Of Achilles, and its
heronry was built expressly for the
birds OF Paradise, while sombre in the
distance, like the cave of hermit,
glimpses are caught Of the dog house"
| a Cincinnati German in the furniture
trade was accos:ed.the other day by a
New orker with: ..Well, Mr.. Schmidt,
they say you have made an assign
ment?'' s'YaW; dot ish so. on
assigned to your brother, didn't youp'''
..Yaw, he yhas my brudder.' didn't
anybody raise objections about this
family arrangements ..Vhen, I doan'
know. When my brudder fails he as
signs to me, und When I fails / assigns
to him. Dot makes fair play, eli? ]
doa' 20 much on some mans who goes
pack. on his brudaer.;'
L f. : 4 y (.