The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1883-07-13

me. Well, me and my chum went and
headed pa of. or guess he would be run.
ming yet. We g,t him up by the lake shore,
and he wanted to know if the house fell
down. He said he would leave it to me if
he ever said anything against the Feuiaus,
and l told him he had always claimed that
the Fcnians were the incest men in the
world, and it seemed to relieve him very
much When he got home and found the
house there he was so tickled, and when ma
called him an old bald-headed coward, and
said it was only a joke OF the boys with a
foot ball. he laughed eight out. and said he
knew it all the time, and run to see if ma
would be scared. And then he wanted to
hug me, but it wasn't my night to hug and
L went down to the theatre. Pa don't
amount TO much when there is trouble
The time that ma had them cramps, YOU
remember, when you got your cucumbers
hrst last season, pa came near fainting away.
and ma said ever since they had been
married when anything allied her, pa has
had pains just the same as she has, only he
grunted more, and thought he was going to
die. Gosh, if was man 1 wouldn't be
sick every time one of the ncighbors had
the back ache, would vou?'
well, you can't tell When you have
been married twenty or thirty years you
will know good deal more than you do
now Ynn think Won know it all now. and
you arc pretty intelligent for a boy that has
been brought up carelessly, but there are
things that you will learn after awhile that
will astonish you. But what ails your pas
teeth The hired girl was over here to get
some corn meal for cruel, and she said your
pa was cumming it sine, he had lost his
teeth
%, about the teeth That was too bad
You see my chum has got dog that is old
and his teeth have all come out in front,
and this morning borrowed pas teeth be-
fore he got up to see if VIC couldn't fix them
in the dogs mouth so he could cat better.
Pa says it is an evidence of a kind heart
for boy to be good to dumb animals, but
it's darn mean dog that will go back on a
friend. We tied the teeth in the dog
mouth with string that went around his
supper jaw, and another around his under
jaw, ond you'd dido to see how funny
he looked when he laughed. He looked
just like pa when he tried to smile so as to
get me to come up to him when he wants
to lick me. The dog paved his mouth a
him bone with some meat on, and he
began to gnaw the bone, aud the teeth came
off the plate, and he thought it was a piece
of the bone, and he swallowed tho teeth
My chum noticed it first, and he said we
had got to get in our work pretty quick to
save the plate, and think we were in luck
to save them. 7 held the dog, and my
chum, who was better acquainted with
him, united the strings and got the gold
plates out, but there were only two teeth
left and the dog WAS happy. He waggled
his tail for more teeth but we hadn't any
more. 1 am going to give him mas teeth
some day. My chum says when dog
gets an appetite for anything you have go
to keep giving it to him or he goes back OF
you. But think my chum played meal
on me. We sold the gold plate to jewelr,
man and my chum kept the me ney 1 think
as long as 1 furnished the goods, he ough
to have given mo something besides th,
experience, don't you? After this I don
have no more partners. you bet.' All thi
time tho boy was marking on piece o
paper, aud soon after he went out the gro
ccry man noticed a crowd outside. and 90
ing out he found sign hanging up which
read, 'Wormy Figs for Parties
AVEoETARIAN's BILL OF FARE.-An English
vegetarian has made report TO the British Med
zeal Journal of the result of his years expert
ence without meat. At first he found the vegc
tables insipid, and had to use sauces to get them
down. AS soon as he became accustomed to fht
diet all condiments were put aside except little
salt. The desire for tobacco and alcohol lef
him spontaneously. Then oil his digestive func
n hnnn .,..1n L. L