The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-09-12
WIT AND Wisdom.


WHEN man can make right out OF
wrong he will be able to breed colts from
horse chestnuts.
IT is the Mobile Register which sem
; IDLY thinks that il there wns no news
paper notice Of duels, duelling would
come to an end.
The assisted" emigrant is one thnt is
sent to this country rs q pauper, with
passage paid. The "assisted' tramp
is one that is urged out Of your yard
with aboot.
THERE are only two classes Of unmar-
ried women in society, "scrawny old
maids" and young "chits of girls" You
learn this by hearing each of these de-
scribe the other.
NhYJERsEY young man, VINO tackled
Professor Sullivan in friendly bout,
now wears the belt. He wears it just
over the left eye aid feeds it on raw
beet. .-Erchange.
IT takes good deal Of courage to
write ont the announcement: 'Gone
down into the country to sponge oil my
father.in.law. BE away all summer.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
THE Keeper of the Iime-Kiln museum
reports that he has received from Mis-
souri the skull of farmers hired man
who had never yelled ut II yoke of oxen
or wanted to kill mule.
"WuAT is true bravery?' asks New
York paper. 1t is going to the door
Yourself when you don't know whether
| the caller il dear friend, book agent
or man with bill. ill.-PhiiadGtphia
| NeWs.
| A" "suowrR Of stones" ia reported from
Cecil county, Md. If young man was
singing ut midnight aud accompanying
himself on M ACCORDION, shower OF
stones was what might have been e1'
pected.
Ir seems that the T6ras Sitiings man
went to Texns to die OF consumption
and lived to become n humorist. You
can form your own estimate of whether
the climate is to be praised or not
Boston Post.
A NEW ENGLAND physician says that
il every family would keep box OF
mustard in the house one-half OF the
doctors would starve. We suggest that
every family keep two boxes in the house.
The Judge.
CARE angels over sleepy p"is a question
which an English psychological society
is irving to solve. We hardly know
whether our angel is ever sleepy or not.
We've never stayed late enough to find
out.-LO,ceU Gti=en.
A CELEBRATED circus manager "a OF
the hunt for new curiosity for his show
) He il seeking to find n young marie,
: man whose wife can cook as well rs hi
mother did. .Twenty-six States hav'
been explored thus far without success
y GREEN apples, green apples, the grass grows
. green .
d That the boys in the orchard can hardly b
G seen;
! On. mother, oh, mother, your boy Is in bed
:, If the doctors don't hurry, he IL surely DO deao
An msthetic writer predicts that il w
, were to revisit this country one hundred
|. wears hence we should see men wearing
knee.brceches and slashed doublets
a That settles it. We shall not com
0 back. The number Of bow-legged mel
: is increasing too rapidly.
r Ir is said that the number OF womel
!, who reach one hundred years and mp
d ward is nearly double that of long-liye'
!, men. Women don't invent patent fire
is escapes and exhibit their workings. An
TX thoy don't stay out 80 late o nigh
either, inhaling the miasma OF tn
night.
He had been waltzing with his host
ugly, elderly daughter, and was in
a corner repairing damages. Here he "
,, IN esped by his would.be papa-in-la
IL "She's the flower of my family, sil
m said the latter. $50 it tseems," answer
y, tbe Young man. "Pity she comes
ty so amt il ?" he continued. as he essay
OF another vigorous rub at the white spo
~ on his coat sleeve.
a. "Do YOU want to see some fun?, So
AZ az n small boy to his father. "Don
"a "a care if do" he replied. well, let
i 20 and listen to Deacon Dumpy tao
~ 'iown his carpets" 81 don't TIM
, = therell he anything funny in that
- ~ scornfully snorted the parent. "Don'
10 as ch? You seem to forget that the deact
or stutters." "Ah,' said the old ma
,d Then they went over to harken.