The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-09-28
BREVlTY BASKET.
FILLED with Mention of Minor Events and
Funny Items.

Funny Items.
A Pennsylvania lady, 90 years Of age, milks,
washes, and bakes for family Of three per-
sons. The Courier Journal says great deal
can be got out old people II they are properly
managed. Young people do not get half
enough rest.
The Boston Globe declares that the reason
the people outside Of that city make fun Of
Boston baked beans" is that "they don't know
how to cook them" 1t may strike some
people outside Of Boston as a little odd that
baked" beans S ould need cooking.-Nor-
risiown Herald.
81 am fierce for work." remarked the young
college graduate, on his return home. The
old gentleman set him TO moving with scythe
and by dinner time his ardor was so abated
that he said he ''guessed he had better sit
down and write for school. burlington
Free Press,
1t is said Of the landlords at the summer
resorts that they get up very early in the morn
ing and 60 out and swear leariully. This
melts the frost, and by the time the guests are
ready for breakfast nothing to indicate the
"waning season" is to be discovered, Koch
ester Post Express.
Mr.. Sara Bernhard has returned from the
wars, but his wife won't have any more truck
with him. They have drited as widely apart
as any two Ohio Democrats, but what is their
misfortune is the public gain, for Mr.. Bern
hardt cannot get job at any Of the iheaters.
Chicago News.
Chicago News: Telegraph advices from the
west END Of the big bridge brings the informa-
ton that the gamblers are rusning things ia
ST. Louis. Unless they make more OF howl
ing success Of il than the rusty old fossils who
have been in charge for the past 20 years, they
had better so the way Of Mary Churchill and
flee into the faslness Of Texas.
ST. LOUIS, September 26.-Bill Johnson,
chief clerk OF the Cairo Short Line general
freight and ticket office, disappeared last
Saturday, leaving some 5000 unaccounted
for. lie is said TO have been selling tickets
10 brokers suneptitously. The company is
reported willing to pay for information Of his
whereabouts.
A country editor, after writing powerful
and exhaustive article on the late earthquake
in Java, from force of habit, wound up with;
"Let the suickeit ofhcial Inquiry be made into
this terrible loss of lie, and lie, not the guilty
heads escape that punishment horror strck-
en-, outraged community demands" And
glowing with the loiliest indignation, he strobe
over TO the corner place and drank whisky
Straight" without winking-until he told the
man TO charge it.-Richmond Baton.
A lady entered ticket office in Toledo and
bought a ticket for Milwaukee. She told the
ticket seller that she had never travelled alone
and that her husband had always told her that
she could not without trouble. She desired to
disprove it by making this trip alone. Accor.
dinghy she asked for and got all the informa'
ton as to the departure of her train, the
change of cars in Chicago, checking baggage,
etc, and went from the ticket office smiling al
the manner in which she surprised her husband
A few minutes later the ticket seller found or
the counter the ticket he had sold her with the
change
GALVESTON, September 26.-A sailor died
this morning on the ship Australian, from Vera
Cruz, which has been in the outer roads here.
The body was inferred on Pelican Island
opposite the city. The reporters were imme.
diately on the alert for a yellow fever item
and there was some talk Of quarantining tn,
tug that conveyed the corpse to land. The
health authorities announce that the death re
suited from chronic darrhGa, with which tn,
victim had been afflicted for several months
| The only passengers of the Australian, lady
and her child, are at the quarantine station
1t is rumored that the Captain has been in IN,
city, but this is denied. The Mallory steam
ship Guadalupe will be sued for $50, 900 sal
wage by the lighter companies tomorrow il
the United States District court. The CLAIM
is based on the fact that the Guadalupe raj
ashore on Bolivar point on Sunday and had t,
| be pulled of.