The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1883-09-28
HUNTING THE SOAP.
A Tale of the Morning.

the wall, flew down behind the wash
stand.
Mr.. Brown Immediately got on al
fours, and laid his head on the floor te
see where the soap was. 1t was righ
against the wall, and about as far frou
one side of the washstand as the other
When Mr.. Brown began to reach un.
der with his arm, he found he could no
get half way to the soap, because he was
ON his knees, and his back was almos
broken. and a sharp pain ran up hiH
neck, and he felt as if he had beef
dropping potatoes all day
And then he lay on his chest as though
swimming, and thrust his arm tiercely
. under, and took off about halt ward ol
skin. Th caused Mr.. Brown to foam
at the mouth, and say to himself:
"By gracious! this is test case, and l
am going to see if cake of soap is going
to beat me, if have to S ay home from
business all day, and break the wash
stand up in the bargain.
So Mr.. Brown rolled over on his back
and thrust his arm under as cautiously
as though there WAS hornets nest un-
der the washstand. On, on he went,
and Mr.. Brown smiled smile that had
every possible symptom of victory in it.
BY this time his throat was full of dust
off the carpet, and frequently he
coughed. But now his finser-the very
end of his finger-touched the soap, and
that momentary touch vibrated through
hls soul like gentle benediction, and
caused a fresh crop of smiles to float as
softly over his features as does the
bearded wheat.
That touch had magic about it that
thrilled Mr.. Brown with divinest melo-
ipriHg chicken is to the negro, and
found as lovely place in his dreams as
does the razor in the negro's boot.
Then Mr.. Brown turned on his side
to see the soap that he might grab it;
but when he got on his side, his reach
was shortened, and he couldn't touch
the soap Then he turned over on his
back, and felt the soap again, and at
tempted to grab it. In doing this he
only sent the soap flying farther back,
and out Of reach.
In an ecstasy of rage, he thought he
might get the soap by making desper.
ate crack at it with his hand, and strk-
ing it out on the floor. So he hauled off
and let fly as hard as he could, and his
hand missed the soap, and flew around
like a compass, and struck the stone
paper-weight that was acting in tle
place of the leg that was gone.
Before he could discover how many
fingers had been knocked out Of Joint,
he discovered that the paper-weight had
been driven against the wall by the force
o. the blow.
Ere he could utter the words that
We're on the end of his tongue; the wash
stand tilted and upset the basin of water
on him; and while the water wis in his
eyes and ears, the basin followed, and
lay on his stomach like tombstone, and
pretty near knocked the breath out of
him.
Before he could express himself, al
though there were about four thousand
words inside of him struggling to get out,
the drawers flew out, and emptied lot
of tooth-powder, and razors, and lather.
ing-brushes on him. Then the doors OF
the washstand flew swiftly open, and
raised a couple of Jumps on him that he
will carry about for several weeks to
come.
After this Mr.. Brown turned over on
his chest. and almost inhaled iather-
ing brush. he was breathing so han d
He saw the soap distinctly. The soar
saw him, too. He looked upon it as the
cat looks upon the mouse that is out Of
her reach.
And Mr.. Brown grinned fenlishly at
the sap and said:
"Just come out two inches from the
wall, and give me chance to grab you
dare you to come out an even inch
you mean, miserable, five-cent cake OF
soap. So you'll take dare. will youi
If were only half your size l wouldn't
take dare; | would face the music
You are a spiritess, plebeian cake oi
soap-you are only fit 10 wash doc
with. | believe you are only an Imita.
ton of what you claim to be, you
Here Mrs. Brown suddenly opened
the door against Mr.. Browns head, end
said
"Why in the world don't you come
down? The breakfast is getting cold"
''--??- -! -? ??-!!!n'
replied Mr.. Brown, as he sat up ard ran
his fingers through his hair. to get cut
the razors and lathering brushes.
Whats the matter, any hoa, demand
ed Mrs. Brown.
81 want to get that cake of soap GU
from under the washstanl."
"Well, why don't you?" inquired Mrs
Brown.
because I can't" replied Mr.. Brown.
81 can't reach it; / can not get there.'
Then Mrs Bros said:
"Do you want me to get it,"
81 eo," replied Mr.. Brown, with a
grin of contempt.
CAN right" said the wife, who there
upon simply lifted the washstand ou
from the wall, picked up the soap, tosset
it to her husband and said.
Men would never be able to get alon,
at all if it were not for their wives
Anybody would think from the noise
YOU just made that you were trying K
reach hnder the bureau to get a collar
button out of a distant crack with youl
tngernail"
And before Mr.. Brown could reply
Mrs. Brown had fled swiftly down stairs
and, as Mr.. Brown sclaped the dust of
the soap with tortoise-shell paper.
knife, he felt very mean and humble tc
think that he had not thought OF lifting
the washstand out as his wife did.
And in his rage he banged the soap
down on the floor like baseball, and
then put his heel on it to crush it. Bu
it would not be crushed. 1t simply flew
from under Mr.. Browns heel, and landed
him on the floor SO hard that some o.
ti!C NCiC hhOChCu out VI Ills Ltcti
And at the breakfast table he had not
word to say, but felt the keenest hu.
iliation. and secretly watched the clock
and longed for the hour for his depart.
ure to business to arrive.-Puck.
u
A Gayly-Dressed PIunderer
The -plunderer, which is wha,
the old English words that maks cater