Smyrna times., 1883-04-11
Current Comment.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

People who lisp will find NO difficult
ty in pronouncing the name of Mexicos
Diaz. He calls himself
" dee-ath''
In Baltimore, on st. Paul street, is
displayed the sign: Charles ]. Bona
parte, attorney-at-law." In this great
country even q Bonaparte may become
q useful member of society.
Tarifa, the town from which the
tariff takes its name, was the abode of
pirates and cut-throats," says J. 5.
Moore. This is the best argument for
free-trade we have heard yet.
The oldest peach packer in the
United States says the peach crop this
year will be large. When asked re-
garding the probable size of baskets
this year he changed the subject.
Henry Watterson now announces
that he will take the bull of protec-
ton by the horns All right, Henry.
go ahead but remember the story Of
the IrishmaR, and have your laugh
! first.
A book just published is entitled
How to Make $500 Yearly Profit with
II Hens" We have not read the book.
bat we suppose the authors recipe Is
to sell the corn they would annually
eat and then kill the hens.
Is it true that wearing shoes a size
too large will produce corns ?-Georqe.
Certainly. Ask any lady who has
cOrns how she got them and she will
tell you they were caused by the habit
of always wearing shoes mile too big
for her.
Victor Hugo is about the only man
in France who still kisses a lady's hand
instead of shaking it, Ladies NAV be
interested in knowing that this delight
tul custom went out of fashion when
kid-gloveS came in. Nobody wants to
kiss rat skin
BY new telephone invention
whisper can be heard at a distance of
$50 miles, but that is nothing. When
farmers wife goes to the door and
family whispers, " Come to dinner it
can be heard across a ten-acre field
without telephone.
A New York doctor SAYS the best
cure he knows for a cold is the old
fashioned sweat. Take ten grains of
quinine, hot mustard foot bath, and
stiff glass of toddy' We are famil-
lar with quinine and mustard, but
what in the world is toddy?
: The law has stopped Chinese immi-
4 grafton, but it can do no more. As a
# result, the San Francisco people are
d now paying $50 and $40 a month for
n Chinese servants, because even at that
IL price they are better and cheaper
e than some other kinds at IS.
= The latest application of electricity
= claims to make the eye take in COM
= paratively small objects which are
many miles distant. 1t was invented
y by Rhode Island man who wanted to
take look at his native State occas-
y ionally when visiting across the border.
"Woman's rights ~ exclaimed a
ic Philadelphia man when the subject was
a broached. "What more rights do they
le want? My wife bosses me; our
# daughters boss us both, and the SER
an want girl bosses the whole family. It's
,ff time the men were allowed some
an rights"
Id That celebrated ship, the Great East
7h ern, cost its unfortunate proprietors
u $4,000 for maintenance in the past
p year. During that period it earned
60 $65 in visitors fees. 1t is said that the
u owners are now willing to sell out, and
Gu would even take old junk or the United
W States navy in part payment.
sr- "Why do you call your 'depOts
IL stations? p :" asked an uncultured trav
las eler of railway official. Because,
re- responded the official, "they are sta
nd tiOnary." "Oh, I see; you want tC
nv distinguish these buildings which nevel
it'll move from the accommodation trains
Yn which do move once in a while"
4 lady who was bitten by a raj
-tv while staying at an Atlanta, Ga, hOte
,ca has brought suit for $4,000 damages
he If she wins the suit there will be
ion movement all along the line thi
tb- season, for if rat bites are worth $1,000
pia apiece mosquito bites ought to be wort
,v enough to cancel the Summer hote
Of bills.
IN A number of French gourmets hav
inc tested the edible qualities of the CON
oes mon earth worn, Tho xvorros va,
tea first put into vinegar and made to dis
'"ie gorge the vegetable mold. Then the
were rolled in batter and baked, az
tr quiring golden tint and most apps
a. tizing odOr. People who like that sol
G. of diet are welcome to it, but for Ou
.;n part vermicelli soup is as near an al
, ;. proach to an angle-worm dish as W
!. ~ care to get.
, A Philadelphia man who visited tn
signal service department while
Washington, says it reminded him of