Iron County register., 1883-08-23

your tickets to Denver, you can TELEGRAPH
| from here to your bank and have them tele
graph you funds to Denver, and you viii
have plenty by the time you get there"
'Demme IL that isn't u whacking splendit
idea," SAID he.
"But where did you lose your pocket
book" asked.
"Dunno; had 1t In my ROOM"
"Well, you watch the baggage-plenty o
timc-I'll run over and find it most likely
But what roOm?"
"Room! Let me see. A bakers dozen
my wife said it was, for good lnck-that
would he thirteen" he answered.
Off ran; hurried up to the room; search.
ed around the carpet; shook the bed clothes
out; looked under the bed, in drawers
lodged my head in and out Of the door Il.
every step l heard in the hall, to see II
could get sight Of Il chambermaid to inquire
after It; began to fear might get arrested
AZ thief or burglar; was about giving 1t up
when raised up the table cover, and there
lay my friends purse-just where he had put
it for safetyl
rushed over to the depot with 1t and
some other baggage which they had left In
surprised wife, handed him his money.
He stopped speaking to his wife, took off his
hat, leaned over little, took it very ginger
ly between thumb and finger, looked at it.
turned it over quiSicaliy, and said:
'By the inscrutible pomposity Of the
everlasting dundereens Of the picturesque
tip-top Alapachian range, It's the same,
demme!"
1 rushed off, got my trunk checked, and
my breakfast, just in time to jump aboard Us
the train pulled out for Kansas City. sup
posed my genial friend, Capt. c., and wife
on board; but upon searching could not lind
them.
AT the Pacific the conductor handed me u
telegram from him, saying: "Wc got on the
wrong train. Won't be so much embarrassed
afk II,,, hmm No
train"
So have thus far lost the company of Il
very Jolly companion.
Could not find q soul on the train ever
saw before; but had the misfortune to sit
with prominent politician from Kansas
City, and there were two Kansas politicians
In the seat in front and facing us. One OF
the latter was q Republican anti-prohibi-
ZIONIST; the other Democrat, who was In ia
vor of Legislative prohibition" but was op-
"because," said he, sits . darned Republ
can institution, and ] alters calkilate that
everything them 'cre st. john fellers do ort
to be opposed"
Such a fierce rhetorical clatter as those
three men kept up nearly all day, is not to
be described in words-certainly not within
the four or five minutes left me. Indeed,
don't believe you Will be able to read what
ain now writing, at this break-neck speed.
As my throat was sore from talking 'mu,e"
DelOTc 1clt uOulc, OiuIi hIiON
about the whiskey question, was only a
listener. But | soon tired, and in vain
sought to separate the disputants. / tried
to push the grasshopper question on the at
tention of my Kansas friends. / suggested
to them that had scientifically studied the
problem, and had concluded
that the cultivation of Kansas at all was a
great mistake; that it would furnish too
much food for them; that by reason of this
supply Of food, some day they would come
down from the Rocky Mountains, increase
and multiply on the new food-supply of
and thus Overrun all the eastern
1t would be ultimately necessary
TO deSolate Kansas, and keep that whole |
belt TO the mountainS-tOO wide for the |
'hoppers" to pass over-a "desert," )" in or |
Ter to save Missouri and Iowa, &c.
They stopped ii moment, and one of the
Kansas men answered: "Sir. You reckon?
tell you, sir, il the Government should |
send out an army of 100000 men next week
% burn out ana clean OFF the State that
prairie dogs and turkey -buzzartis couldn't
i've there, It wouldn't cause half as much of
rumpus amongst politicians as one keg of
I'D bourbon whiskey."
And thereupon the trio would again