Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-24

| t ~ N'bPtN tht hOSS Hdl
thrown up the sponge. - Larami,
Boomerang.
BORROWED WIT.
| Musicians are in the habit of slur
ring some notes, but they all speal
well OF greenbacks
The world is progressing. Law
yers' oven, can now go fishing and
say they caught nothing.
One whJ knows says that, in the
country, they blow horn before din
ner, but III town tue. take one.
Considering how full of change
thls world is. it is surprising how lit
tie finds its way to the contribution
| plate.
Ii you ask a bald headed man how
he would prefer to be upholstered,
hell likely express desire for
mo hair on the top Of his head
lou can pack as much devil to the
sSquare-inch IN woman as you can
dynamite III can, and when she goes
OIL she goes off, and you know it.
y four legged boy baby has been
born III that land OF wonderful events.
Georgia. He will be a lightning
double clog performer if he lives.
Now let us enjoy little republi
can harmony remarked one Kill
Kenny cat to the other. as he let fly
his dexter claw at his opponents sin
lister eye.
The best thing l ever read" ex-
claimed book reviewer, as he
perused bis uncle's will and found
that the sensible lamented had left
him snug Request
Now that the excitement raised by
the Prince Napoleon has died ont, we
suppose nothing short of new cir
Gus joke would wake Europe from her
fancied security.
The Boston GioLe man has been
studying the Chinese language and is
rather startled, though not surprised.
to find that the Chinese call sew
ing circle chin chin
During the ages it was discovered
that 'oEe swallow does not make a
summer" but modern investigation
has developed the painful fact that if
the swallow be hot it will make one
spring.
4 pawnbroker who went out to see
baseball match, expecting to pick
! up some points for his business, Was
'hsgusted when he found that the
game is played with one ball ipetead
of three
Il wish my hair cropped very close"
remar ked Charles to the barber, and"
dropping his voice, ''I'll come in the
last of the week and pay you"
Charles still wears his hair Iorg.
Il met MIR. Bibulous this mo. .uing."
said Mrs. Rather to her husband,
"and he is fearfully SCARED; l should
think he had been struck by q cy-
clone Probably another blow out"
rejoined r.
Now that the shad season has
opened, the missionary societies will
shortly issue their annual appeal,
begging the public to save the back
bones. They want them to palm off
upon the heather as fine combs.
An agricultural journal recently
published a long article on Sheep
Husbandry,' but it didn't say any
thing apout the man who continually
compliments his wife. although he is
most assuredly a she e-praiser.
Oae hotel in Albany has a knotted
rope at every window for guests to
let themselves down by. The pro
prietor has been offered 500 to de-
scend this way from the third story
window, but he declines with thanks.
The young man who called on his
girl the other night and mistook the
cat for the chair cushion, and sat
down on it, says that he had no idea
that a cat could come up to the
scratch on such short notice.
A Yale student who swallowed his
diamond pin and called in Il doctor
to see what could be done, mad to sub
NIT to the insulting inquiry: WAS it
white or yellow glass, and was the
pin washed or rolled?'
When a married man finds himself
locked out at 2 o'clock A. NJ he yearns
for key to the situation.
If you want to See IL walking i'm
personation of solemnity don't go
incoming around graveyards and un-
dertakers establishments. Stand at
the stage door of some theatre and
watch the leading comedian come out
The general system of placing coils
of rope in hotel bedrooms, as a means
of escape, has caused big demand
for striped silk stockings. Young
ladies realize the danger of sliding
down six stories of rope. and will be
prepared.
The new fve-cent piece is made
larger to accommodate the increased
size of beer glasses. here should
be general fitness to all things.
Beer, by the way, seems to have a
general fitness" if the amount con
sumed is any criterion
\ butchers cart rubbed him off the
curbstone and whirled him into the
gutter. and he had not reached his
feet when smile spread over his
face and he called out: rs there any
thing more to-day?' Of course he
was a clerk.
There is one great consolation that
comes 10 an unsuccessful business
man, AS he sees his possessions
swept away to satisfy his creditors
and that is that he is not compelled
to give up everything. No law car
force him to give up drinking.
A household journal says: Soap
suds is not the best wash for silver
ware This is important, if true
but what the society" young MAJ
wants to know is how to polish up {
dollar store diamond pin so that il
will look like gem of the frs
water
The cable brings the gratifying in
tolligenct that the Beers have beer