The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-03-29
GOING, GOING, GoNE.
How and for What Esteemed Minister
Was Sold at the Devils Auction.

Rev. s. x. Hoshour the much respected and
esteemed minister and professor, whose name
has been for years a household word in the COM
munity, and than whom no man is more deeply
venerated by the citizens of Indianapolis was
unwittingly the victim of misplaced confidence
tuesday evening, the circumstances being of
such nature as to be appreciable by all who
are so fortunate as 10 number the good old man
among their acquaintance.
After finishing the evening meal, and having
performed his evening duties, Prof. Hoshour
chanced to look at his ticket to the
course OF lectures given under the
auspices OF the Indianapolis Lecture
Bureau, and noticed that Rev. Joseph Cook was
announced for lecture at the Park Theater for
that date, and ignorant of the fact that it had
been postponed, the old gentleman donned his
coat and hat and started for the theater. His
experience as related by himself to a Journal
reporter will be Of interest to his friends. Ar
irving at the theater, he noticed that the char
acter of the crowd entering the house was
scarcely such as he had reason to believe Mr.
Cook was able to command, but he paid little
heed to this matter, and patiently climbing the
stairs, presented himself at the box-otiice win
dow.
Il have come to hear Brother Cooks lecture"
he explained, as the man at the window extend
eu MS hand for the price of admission. az have
season Ticket" and suiting the action to the
word, he presented the Dashboard for the ap-
proval or the ticket-seler.
That's all right" said the man in charge, as
ne sized the case up and took in the situation
here, usher, take this gentleman In and give
MN 'front.' seat" Thus consigned to the guild
ance OF special envoy, Prof Hoshour permitted
himself to be escorted TO a seat A careful in
spectlon of the surroundings sufficed to awaken
nvely suspicion in his mind that all was not
Jus' as IL nad been represented, and hasty
survey of the motley crowd in attendance more
IMAM corroborated the suspicion. ''Such a crowd
would never have assembled to hear a lecture on
such subject as "Does Death End All" or "rhe
Anghtness of the Aught," thought he, and in
order to satisfy himself that he was not being
Played upon, he hailed an usher.
"Dses Rev. Joseph Cook lecture here this even
ingf" he asked.
The usher gazed at him in a bewildered
sort OF way for moment, aud suddenly
left with the remark that he would find
out and let him know" AS he did
not return the venerable Professor hailed
another usher after few minutes of waiting
and repeated the question addressed to the first.
The second usher was even more astonished than
his predecessor, and he too left without lmpart-
ing the desired information.
Meanwhile The orchestra struck up lively
jig, and the gods in the gallery beat a tattoo
with their feet accompaniment aud the
reverend gentlemen shifted uneasily in his seat
and began to wish he hadn't come Desparing
OF gaming the information desired from the
ushere, and more than ever satisfied that he
would hear nothing there calculated to enlighten
him as TO whether not death ends all" he
moved over seat or two and inquired of two
ladies'
evcning?"
"Whatg-Cook2-Lectu Well, you bet he
ton"
"What-what kind-what kind of show did
you say?"
why the Devils Auction'-a kind of a variety
show, you know
The Professor didn't know, and he didn't pro-
pose TO hnd out, so he started for the door,
through Which he beat hasty retreat as the
curtain rose, disclosing a glittering array of
eoryphees whose costumes were gotten up with
Eve-llke simplicity and a bewilderng vision of
dazzling spangles and fluffy garments.
Prof. Hoshour delayed his escape just long
enough TO address few caustic observations
TO the fresh young man in the box office
equlvocating relative to the character of the
performance given inside, aud to administer a
rebuke to the vealy ushers who attempted to
ulsport themselves at the expense of aged
man. That the deceit practced upon the old gem
tleman was outrageous admits of no argument,
bub 1t is due rhe management to state that the
man in the office is not regularly employed in
that capacity, and that they were in way ap-
prised of the occurrence.