The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-04-27
HOW TO CRY.

Although a woman1s greatest
power is her tears, few know how
to shed them. Aside from adding
TO the mute eloquence of she eyes,
tears enhance a Woman's beauty
and overpower the giants whom
pugilists can only master wish diff
Guilty. They should be brief, not
too wet, and by no means bitter.
They must rush to the eyelids,
linger like dewdrops. and when
they do fall the precipitation must
be speedy. To be effective they
must be premeditated. A Whit of
the fearful onion, a fresh inhalation
of pungent smelling salts, a few
grains Of pepper or slight irrita-
tion of the outer corners Of the eyes
with a match or toothpick will
suffice for copious flow, and if the
lover, husband or father can be
cornered the shower will have
the desired effect. But avoid
frOwn or scowl. Manufac
ture a feeling Of sadness, hold the
breath to get up color, pout judi
ciOusly, incline the head to one side,
droop the body but not tho shout
derS, use small, soft finish cambria
handkerchief with both hands, TAX
ing care to rub the eyeball down
and out. The object in rubbing
out is to have the tears roll over
the cheek. There is too much of
the deer sentiment when they
course down the innocent nose in
piteous chase.
1t has been observed that only
those women who are prettiest
when they are the coolest can cry
with advantage Such ladies get
deep rosy cheeks and lips, while
their nose and ears blanch like the
lily. They truly are blessed, and
can wrench diamonds by. the
peck, sealskin sacques, dresses,
bonnets, bonbons, in fact, any
thing tangible, from the sus-
ceptible husbands, with their tears.
But when, as ordinarily, a food tide
of salt tears makes the eyelids, nose
and lips swell pickles the dimples and
gives the nose and face the appear
ance of being parboiled, the game
is lost. The weeper is not only IN
interesting, but positively hideous
and if the loOker-oR does succumb ii
is only as a means Of escape. When
such deluge comes on, and every
woman knows when TO expect it
she can do herself gracious favor
| by Immediately hiding herself.
4 Women cry because their lovers
neglect them; cry because they are
too ardent, cry because their dress
doesn't fit; their bonnet is being du-
plicated; cry when their gloves tea
or their shoes don't squeak, cry will
veXation at the triumphs Of thei
, friends, cry because their dia
monds are waning, Cry because
their arms get tired before they Cal
make their hair stay up, cry at tn
taunts Of big brothers, and little
brothers, too, cry when they get tn
toothache, cry when they get pro
posal, cry when they don't; the
J; cry TO look pretty, and cry becaus
they can't They are q ohm perrin
> set of mOrtals, and if they had tn
!: faintest idea that these ineessa1
!, showers not only spoil the face, br
j, produce a peevish temper and petl
Z liant disposition, they would shut o
i the fountain and depend upon oth'
: persuaders. An argument that ca
: be effectively used in cutting O
\ this water supply, is the unique
= tionable fact that tears inJuTe tt
:. sight. Tears are romantic enoug
n on paper, or in the eyes of tt
/ poets ideal, but everyday wome
r, should be made of sterner stuff
y Chicago Herald.