Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-11-09
OH KALEIDOSCOPE.
The burning question: cremation

The democratic congrt sSmen from CALI
fornia wears $40 undershrts. Don't let it be
known in the party.
The way they do business in the West is
illustrated by the following notice, pinned
on.a lawyers door "Goue to bury wife.
Back in 80 minutes
A Texas editor captured enough cabbagcs
on Halloween to keep himself in cigars all
winter.
An Ohio woman recently bCrscwhipped an
editor. Some women don't seem to have
any regard at all for their reputation.
Some Connecticut Solons ought to take a
trip West. A murderer ont there was re-
Gently tried, convicted and hung in three
minutes.
A Baltimore. society of young ladies and
gentlemen is called, "Thc Sons and Daught-
crs of the Knights" The knights aforesaid
are mostly tapstcrs and brewers, whose chief
romauccs are confined to an occasional tour
namcnt at cards, or front scat in variety
| show.
Cincinnati, makes more collins than any
other city in the United States, and some
folks would be mean enough to say that she
needs 'cm.
A Western auctioncer advertised large
sale Of rustic benches" but the printer
worked 1t in "argc sale Of rustic brccch-
cs" Tue sale was not very well attended.
The bcs, vioouccllo player is great Bragg,
and it is not strange that the champion cor.
| net player is a wonderful blower. - Ne,o
| orleans Picayune.
"Idylwild toddy" is the latest drink for
men. If it will make n man any more idle
and Wild than some of the 9th r toddics for
men 1t is certainly well namcd.-N0rristopn
Ueraid.
A sad cycG Lumorist writes us, There
Is one department of your paper that Is very
interesting, and vet always too long 1t is
the death column. '-New York Commercial
-idrertiser.
Editors do not wear crowns, although the
temptation is great, for crowns are really
cheaper than hats. The crown that the car
OF Russia wears has been used OVER 600
years it has never had to be repaired, and
is yet good for many years service. The
number OF hats that man has to buy in 600
years would cost more than two diamond
encrustcd diadems. -7eras Sittings.
II believe I'll have to reduce your
wages, john" said misery Boston en-
ployer to one of his help, the other day
What for p was the query. "Because
things are coming down. The neccssaries
OF life are cheaper, and you can afford to
get along on smaller pay" 81 should like
to know what necessaries of life are cheap
er, said john "beef is as high us ever,
flour hasn't dropped a cent, and coal is as
dear rs ever "Well," said the employer,
as he turned away "at any rate, the price of
postage stamps has been reduced one third. "
-SomerriNe Journal
Three or four dock. WALLPAPERS, led by q
man who had "A two-dollar bill in his hand,
entered the office of prominent tug owner
the other day, and the spokesman announc
cd, Say, captain, the boys out there have
been blowing around about the speed of
tugs, and I've finally made 'em put up"
"llow?' why, I've got bet of 81 that
you have tug which can break the biggest
hawser made, on square pull" "Wel Z" /
well, want to win it. If l do I'll divide
with you" The captain not only refused to
send 10 Buffalo for the tug mentioned, but
would not pledge himself TO buy a new haw-
ser for the trial. Ia fact, he dismissed the
matter so frigidly that the stakes had to be
returned and the wager declared off. That's
just the way with some men after they get n
few dollars ahead. Detroit Free Pres