Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-03-10
WIT AND HUM0R.

II the price OF peer SOt0 tp tiCiO
won't be SO much of it going down.
Flattery is called "tatiy" because it
makes man feel so awfully stuck
up"
The art of making up" the female,
face has reached degree that is well
nigh perfection.
The intense cold is doing a great
thing for the Illinoisians, 1t is turn
ing red noses white.
The Massachusetts, iron workers
who are on strike have not yet hit
the nail on the head.
The average society young man OF
the day is very much OF fool and
considerable of nuisance.
No matter if the postage is re
duced, it is just as much trouble to
lick two cent stamp as three-cent
one.
By the way, another of the Balak-
lava six hundred has just died.
This reduces the ranks to about nine
hundred.
If you want an example of
thorough non partisanship, take the
members of brass band ouriug the
campaign.
The English papers call Egypt the
"Gate of India" One of those I'M
common cases where the fence costs
more than the park.
Professor Constantine Petrovitch
Pobedonstzeff was the teacher of the
present Gar The Professor was
never summoned by telephone.
Bacon has said that reading
makes full man." and many restau-
rant keepers have adopted the plan of
supplying their customers with morn
p ing papers. rrs1 srs 3
Young ladies who pine to paint
flower pieces are reminded that
the flower piece that is most attractive
to the marrying man is a batch OF
good bread.
The Washington Monument will
stop this season at 342 feet. And
this is the difference between it and
the average Washington politician, for
they stop at 0.
Overheard in the cloak room
did she marry wellP' Yes, indeed.
He's worth over million, and drinks
so hard that he never can get into
y society; so she's not bothered with
him" h'
The Legislature of Kentucky, says
'o one of the Judges of that State, has
provided thirteen grounds for di-
vorce. The Legislature of Kentucky
is evidently made up of married men
who hope to escape some day.
. An intelligent farmer being asked
if his horses were all matched. re-
Piled: "Yes, they are matched first
rate; one of them is willing to do all
the work, and the other is willing
that he should .5s5
When a California man sees mo
cards" at the end of a marriage notice
of friend, be remarks that THAT
girl has put some pions notions into
Jim's head, but he'll get over them
after he has been married awhile
A party of young men dined
sumptuously at restaurant and each
one insisted ON paying the bill. To
decide the matter it was proposed to
blindfold the waiter, and the first one
he caught should pay the bill. He
hasn't caught any of them yet.
Col Ingersoll's remark, "If you
wish to be sublime, you must keep
close to the grass" is suggestive of
Walt Whitman and Nebuchadnezza
There must be one disadvantage of
getting SO low-it shortens the "step
from the sublime to the ridiculous
81 There is to be an exhibition of old
boots and shoes in Paris. A show of
that sort would be a failure in this
country, because after the soleless
tramp has made his selection from the
ash heap the omnivorous goat APP
propriates what is left.
Somebody's coming when the dew
drops fall he hummed softly, as he
prepared himself for an evening call
upon his sweetheart. A knock at the
door interrupted him. Somebody
had come. It was his landlady, and
no she wanted money or his room on the
spot, I o.-3 ina esa.t.r
There was dug in Texas this sea
son, it is said, yam weighing over
30 pounds, which was equal to little
over half bushel of solid potatoes.
But this was surpassed by Georgia
potato which was large enough for
person to sit on one end while the
other end was in. the fire cooking.
An old bachelor, who wanted to in
gratiate himself with rich widow,
presented her with lap dog, saying
II have trained him SO perfectly that
he will eat off your hand" "Eat off
my handv' exclaimed the widow. II
don't want my hand eaten off, and
you needn't think of getting it in that
way"
Because she was suffering from a
cold in the head, and had perfectly
, horrid' red nose, Philadelphia
young lady wanted to postpone her
wedding; but the bridegroom. elect
objected because he thought by con-
slant practice he could easily make
his own nose match in color that of
the bride
The President of Tufts College
was recently made a happy father.
and the following morning at prayer
= in the chapel he introduced this
rather ambiguous sentence: sand
We thank Thee, o Lord, for the succor
Ntx~,, l,,< L L