The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1883-05-12
THEY Do DRINK IN MAINE.
A Mysterious Language which
the Father of Prohibition has
Never Learned.

"Will YOU turn your back?'' courteous
lv INQUIRED gentleman prominent il
Maine politics of reporter of the Su'
who had called at his hotel.
Nervously wondering what April lido
had been decorating his overeoat, the re-
porter painfully twisted himself into po
sition favorable to overlooking his owr
back.
ono, no, you misunderstood me-" and
the Maine man hastily checked the con.
tortionist on the ragged edge of strabis-
mus. II mean, shall we shut our eyes p
"shut our eyes" repeated the mystitied
reporter, 'sand why?'' = s@ *s$
"Pshaw, man, you say you have called
to ask me about the workings of the Maine
liquor law, and yet you do not seem te
understand the alphabet Of prohibition. |
mean, will you take "a blinder?' viii you
d-r-i-n-k 90
After absently touching the elrctric bell
and allowing the reporter time to assimi-
late his first lesson in new language, the
citizen of the cold-water State continued
s'To properly understand Maine prohibi-
ton, or to thoroughly appreciate pure
whisky, it is necessary to live in Maine.'
us it, then, true that liquor is scarce
there?"
"Pure liquors are scarce, but intoxi-
cants and intoxication are not at all so."
"But it is asserted by the Father Of -
"Lies,' as some Maine men call him
yes, 60 on"
"By General Dow, that the sale of
liquor is confined to the lowest and most
degraded of your foreign population
eyes, I know; these assertions aee more
than twice-told tales to us at home; but
Mr.. Dow is not the best evidence on that
point. see that the San is calling his at
tention pretty sharply to the issue ofsome
200 wholesale and retail United States
internal revenue licenses to Maine liquor
dealers in a single year. Now, the lowest
to obtain or pay fer such licenses. Do
you suppose that the heroine in Mr.. DoW's
tavorite fable, the woman who, as he says,
carried her whole stock of liquor under
her rpetticoats stifened her skirts with a
Government license?"
''Then you regard prohibition as fail
ure?"
"Morally, perhaps; politically, no; it is
a most invaluable political engine; gener-
ally out of order, but always capable of
being tinkered up about election time; al
ways sdjsorganized, and therefore always
ready to be reorganized in the interest Of
any, or all, of the political parties in the
State" and here the politicians hand
moved mechanically toward the decanter,
and closed trustfully about its neck.
"Who sell liquor in Maine ?''
druggists, hotel keepers generally,
and restaurant and saloon keepers to GUS
"By the glass, openly?"
"More frequently by the bottle or pint,
and secretly. Secret drinking is one of
the triumphs of the Maine law. There is
a felonious flavor about stepping behind
the bar and into closet to take drink
that is too apt to attract a very young or
very foolish man into violating a law he
cannot respect"
'sDoes General Neal Dow know of these
tricks?"
"Well, he 10 a fine example of the ru-
derless reformer, and you can imagine
just how far such men 60 in self-decep-
tion. Then, too, he never drinks himself.
and probably!has no means of knowing how
freely liquor is obtainable, or how gener-
ally wines and liquors are offered at balls
and parties, weddings and dinners, and at
so cial gatherings, and merrymakings of all
sorts, public and private"
s'Has Gen. Dow ever been accused of
using liquor himself?" r.
"Not to my knowledge, and such an ac-
cusation would be utterly false. The sur
geon of his regiment is my authority for
the statement that the combined tortures
of Hatteras and seasickness never con-
qnered Mr.. Dow's repugnance to liquor.
No, we ought t o be proud of Mr.. Dow.
As long as he lives we can say there is one
man in the State of Maine who does not
know the taste of whisky"
"And the rest Of you?" inquired the re-
parter as he rose To leave.
ssWe turn our backs and shut our
eyes,"