The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-09-21
BREVITY BASKET.
Pined with Mention Of Minor Events and
Funny Items,


Funny Items.
A school hoy remarks that when his teacher
undertakes to "show him what is what" he
only finds out which is switch.
A lot Of steel wire spring beds have been
shipped to New Zealand. The natives are
tired Of frying missionaries on forked sticks.
"An things come to him who waits" sadly
remarked the tramp az he lodged brickbat
and shufled over the fence Just in time to
escspe the eager jaws Of blear eyed bulldog.
Old gent-"Ah, Mrs. b., did you keep a
diary during your visit to the countryi" Mrs.
b., Indignantly -" No. sir, | didn't. The
family bought milk from the neighbors.-
Cincinnati Traveller.
II was on the piazza Of the Grand Union,
Saratoga: "IIow beautifully that woman
Sings" said one lady to another, who was in
gorgeous attire and blazing with diamonds
Is she mezzo. soprano ?" "No, guess
not. | think she is a Swede," replied the
other.
At the convention Of Free Thinkers at
Rochester, New York, a day or two ago, Mrs.
Susan II, Wixon delivered a speech on the
question: "Will the Coming Woman Attend
Church ?" II the coming man Is able to buy
the coming woman a new spring bonnet, this
important question may be safely answered in
the affirmative.
"Does II pay" asks a correspondent "for
a minister 10 take a three months vacation I"
Does II. Well, we should say so. There are
some churches Of which we wot where we
think 1t would pay the pastor to take about -
months vacation every year and then put Of
coming back TO the last minute with hope Of
missing the train.-[ Burlington Hawkeye.
Marowfat, sit would never do for a great
nation like the United States to be without a
navy" "Why |" asked Miltisdes; sit, no
good we're never going to war with any
body" "Whyp repeated Mr.. Mauowfat,
dlsdainfully, "Ill tell you why. Because the
health OF our public officers requires it,
brooklyn Eagle.
Mike-"It's the Irish that does all the in.
Whiting in these days, sure" Jonathan
Irish be darned the Irish don t invent any
thing to speak Of, Americans invent every
thing" Mike-"Thin perhaps yez can tell
me why the Irishman's name, Pat, is always
next to the date on all the new invintions.
Divil an American name can yer find on one
at all, ALL"
The following details, with regard to the
hair dressing of Japanese ladies may be of in
terest and help to elucidate much OF the mys.
terry which always surrounds the meaning Of a
japanese picture. In Japan girl at the age
Of nine wears her hair tied up in a red scarf
bound round the back Of her head, the fore
head is left bare with the exception of a
couple Of locks, one on each side. When she
is OF manageable age she combs her hair
forward and makes it up into the shape Of a
fan or a butterfly, and at the same time deco
rates 1t with silver cord and balls Of varied
colors. This means everything, and is fully
understood by the young men of Japan. A
widow who wishes for a second husband puts
tortoise shell pin horizontally at the back of
her head and twists her hair round it, while an
inconsolable widow cuts her hair short and
goes in for no adornment Of any sort. These
last are very rare. BY these simple means
much confusion is avoided. A glance round
ball room sufiices to tell the age and status
Of every lady in the place, and a great deal
might be said for the introduction Of such a
custom into this countrv