Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-24
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS.

PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS.
Cincinnati has smoke inspector.
From melted lead to shot is ter
rible drop.
Never strike trade dollar when il
is down.
Algernon Sartoris is SAID to be an
English dude.
Blasting powder should always be
in prime order.
Much of society is now wrapped in
flannel at the seaside.
Chicken down yellow is a new
color. This is getting it down fine.
In Mississippi it is noticed that
Columbus stands the press very well.
The pawnbroker who is always
making advances, is bound to get on
in the world.
True religion does not go to the
country for the summer in order to
shut up city churches.
To speak of a reporter as pencil
shower" is the flattest sort Of slang.
The pencil must be led.
The Atlanta Constitution has es-
tablished a truck" department. in
which watermelon prices are quoted
every day.
Mesmerism consists of subjecting
the mind of one person TO the CON
troll of another. The less mind a
man has the easier he is mesmerised.
After careful study of the ques-
tion fBeecber concludes that the
world is not worse now than it was
fifty years ago. He thinks, however,
that there are now better facilities
for finding and spreading scandal
than formerly, which gives the world
bad look.
Boston Post: NO" said the rum
seller, ''there's no use of my staying
in the business! All the prize fight
ers have opened saloons, and folks
would rather pay twenty cents for a
poor drink served by tough than
fifteen cents for a good one mixed
by quiet man."
Chicago wit: ''Somebody told a
young English nobleman that to be
popular in Boston society he must
profess to be very fond of baked
beans. And SO, when he dined at
Mrs. Beaconstreet's, he said in a
loud voice to the servant: Pass the
baked beans, please There were
none, of course, and the hostess said
she was insulted."
A wsll-painted picture of sunset
will not look like sunrise
1t is a satire to tell a fool to use
his own judgment.
The only way to punish bad In
dians is to turn cavalry loose and
make a march beyond the reach of
professional philanthropists.
The Boston Advertiser says the
commencement young man would
like the police court privilege of
waving an examination.
Saints are made on earth; but they
all live in heaven.
Buildings for angels to live in
should be made with wings.
Pittsburg people have been nearly
steam whistled to death.
Parched corn may cure hog cholera
IT death does not come the first pop.
Holding only one queen England
has nc show in-a game of govern
ments.
Tho Western farmer never forgets
his winter rye.
"Pschutt." the new slang word
that takes the place of chic, is not to
be sneezed at.
The Cincinnati Saturday Night
looks upon poker playing as school
for the blind
The danger in taking the conceit
out of some men is that they will
have nothing left to stand on.
The Sultan of Turkey is not a man
to waste sympathy on. He has an
income of S15.OO0,0O0 per year.
The trade dollar is in everlasting
disgrace. Saving banks about to
break will not take it from poor peo-
pie.
An Iowa paper says nine saloon
licenses have been issued in Boone.
There is chance for Boone com
panionship.
The disgraceful fate of Major
Wasson is terrible warning to keep
army officers from playing poker.
They must try some other game.
Nothing pleases a conscientious
bachelor SO much az to dine with a
married friend and see the paby put
bis foot into the gravy
Some of the village carts are SO
nice. and they carry such precious
loads, it is no wonder the swell young
man wants to become a village
donkey.
In Ohio one quarter of the license
money raised by liquor goes to the
poor of the county instead of the
poor Office holder.
An Alabama man advertises that
he ha. somethingI that will make
hens lay. Perhaps it is a little
string that ties their legs Send
stamps for the secret.
Fashionable dress makers have
established themselves at Newport
and Long Branch. They are to tel
the young ladies what to wear at the
not hops, and to fix up strangers al
abort notice.