The Arizona champion., 1883-11-24
THE SPOOPENDYKES
The Mild Ter npered Man has n Session
 of Plant TranspIanting.

"My dear," said Mrs. Spoopendyke, looking up from her plate, and regard ing her husband earnestly. "My dear, 1t is getting late in the season, and Pm afraid my plants will be spoiled by the frost. Don't you think it is time they were taken in?"
 "P'raps so," snifed Mir. Spoopen- dyke of you think so why don't you take 'em up?"
 "Won't you do it, dear?" smiled Mrs. Spoopendyke, sweetly.
 "Come on" replied Mir. Spoopen- dyke, dropping everything and prepar- ing for the fray.
 Mrs. Spooendyke put on her bonnet and followed her husband into the gar den.
 "You want to be little careful with some of them," she suggested "A good many of them are tender plants and want to be handled gingerly."
 "You trust me-" retorted Mr. Spoop- endyke, grabbing rose bush with both hands and giving prodigious jerk. "Dot gast the bushl '" he roared, as his hands slipped off, leaving two-thirds of the skin behind.
 "I didn't mean that one," squealed Mrs. Spoopendyke. "That one is to be covered up with straw. Try some of the others.
 "This one of 'em?" asked Mir, Spoop- endyke, and he caught hold of tough old geranium. "Come into the house out of the cold" he cried, apostrophil- ing the plant. "Come forth from the teeming earth and be blessed with light and warmth in the garrett" and he took death grip on the plant half way between the root and the top. "The question before the house is, dirt or Spoopendyke, shall the ground absorb him, or shall the dod gasted fruit of much cultivation let go its hold and come out of the garden, Maud" and with this exordium, delivered with a yell, Mr. Spoopendyke broke the gera- nium of short and sent it over the fence to join the rose,
 "You are loosing them all," cried Mrs. Spoopendyke, her face flushed and her soul vexed by the fate of her plants, 'I wanted to save that one."
 "Next year we'll plant lem the other end up, and then they will grow out of the ground of their own accord r' snoited Mir. Spoopendyke, making for a tuberose. "Now let's see what this ching is tied to! If it isn't made fast to a Chinese laundry on the other side of the globe, we'll sae what the bottom looks like before the intense cold sots imp
 "Don't pull that up!" protested Mrs, Spookendykc, in despair. "I only want to save the bulb of thatW
 "dear what the lady saysw de- handed MT, Spoopendyke, grasping the stalk, and spreading his legs for an unparalleled exertion. "We are indif- ferent to the upper works, but the bulb has become a matter of necessity! Put aside vain pride and show" but here he put in all his strength, and rolled half way across the garden, crushing vines and shrubs and winding up against fence with crash that shook every board In it,
 "Did any of the bulb get away?" in quired Mr, Spoopeudyke, dazed by his fall. "Am to understand that the ex- cavation was not a success" he bawled recovering himself with mighty effort. "Lead me to where the balance of this measly matinee is located Does this thing belong to the show" and he ca1ght hold of a tomato vine. 'Is there bulb annex to this thing oi beauty and joy until l get hold of it Be still, sad heart, until get started p' and he wrenched the vine from the socket and whirled it around his head "One more bulb to hear from n and Inc paved into the earth in vain search fol the root, showering the dirt in all di. rections. "There!" he putfed, when h, idu ppiit ~ opii pi NuNt III liiC Ou of which the vine had come. I'n most through !" and he went at it again "Dust thou art, to dust returnest, ne'el was spoken of this hole" and with thi, peroration MT. Spoopendyke gathered himself up into lump and came dowr hard on both feet in the excavation Inc had made.
 ,I ''l might have known that you didn't know anything about it," moaned Mrs SpOopendyke, who was anxious to dis tract his attention from the fact that there were several beds of flowers he had not marauded.
 "Might, might ye?" roared Mr. Spoopendyke, rising in his wrath as he found it impossible to convince his wife that he had done it all for the best "Think ye might have known that l didn't know anything about it With what ye might have known in this world and what ye don't know, ye only want q name carved in your back, and the paint scratched off, to be the front seat in the first class in public school Some day when it rains, and l can't gel out on account of the toothache, Pm going to fit you up with eight languages