Omaha daily bee., 1883-05-26
O

A new Georgia paper Is The Wiregrass
Crack. This cracker is to be fred first on
June 16.
The restaurant strawberry short cake is
rather shorter in quantity this year than
usual.
People In Kansas and Nebraska are still
burning corn. The corn burns as it goes
down unless copiously diluted with water.
Railroads and rapid transportation have
worked wonders. Minnesota people go to
strawberry parties in sleighs and warm up
on sliced c%ucumbers.
In the recent municipal election in At
lanta, Ga, the COW was the Issue, the
question being whether or not COWS shall
be allowed to run at large in that city.
The result wa, in favor of free COWS.
Four of Sammy Tilden's nsphews have
spent nearly $500, 900 in two years. They
must have invested in season tickets to
the Patti concert and spent one summer
in Saratoga.-Norristown Herald.
A man sitting in the back room of a
saloon playing euchre breathes about
eighteen times per minute. A female
voice suddenly falls on his ea-, and his
respiration jumps to forty.nine quicker'n
scat.
Virgins rather missed It regarding q
big general wind storm, but if he had cut
It up into sli ses, and let one 60 now and
then as q cyclone, he would at this the
be sitting on the top end of the ladder of
fame.
"Where are the springs of long ago."
writes Edith M. Thomas. in sweetly
flowing verse. Give it up, Edith. Some
of them may be hanging in that old
hoop skirt in the attic. New Orleans
Picsyuns.
A Missouri maiden's mistake: One of
the sweotsst-looking girls in the state of
Missouri dislocated her shoulder the
other day by kicking o cat. Handsome
is as handsome does, but she should not
kick with her right srm.-Atchison
Globe.
A girl shouldn't wear Q black belt about
her waist when she's got . white dress on
and Is walking with . young man in the
night time. It makes 1t appsar from q
rear view as If her fellow had his arm
around her waist Buffalo News.
Tho deacon's son was telling the minis.
ter about the bees singing his pa, and the
minister inquired: "Stung your pa, did
they? Well. what did your pa say?"
Step this way . moment" said the boy;
I'D rather whisper 1t to you."-Psck's
Sun.
my face is my fortune, sir!" indig.
nantly responded . fsshy young lady
when her sutton d~elieatsly attempted to
sound her financial prospects "It is Ger.
tainly a large one." dryly responded the
young man as he took his hat and q n to
leave.-Burlington Free Press.
There is a young fellow In our neiphbor.
hood - -. L., ,n.ll-~ - Lii.
of attempting to sing, "Let me like q sol.
they do say that one of tho neighbors who
has a musket is preparing to accommodate
him. Cincinnati Saturday Night.
New York's best society" now cut their
own bread at the table on q plate made of
wood from the Holy Land and with .
knife purchased in Damascus, except on
on lRreat occasions, when the eldest
daughter, lust from Vassar, makes the
bread herself. Then it Is placed on o slab
Of marble from Italy and cut with an axe
from the woodshed. - Wicked Philadelphia
Paper.
Probably the neatest form ever seen of
saying q man has the delirium tremens, Is
the following from the Rolls, Mo-, Herald:
A farmer named John Findleman, living
three and q quarter miles northwest Of
oalem, ID plowlng TOT corn tine otner ay,
same across = little black jug. Uncock-
ing 1t he found 1t to contain forty.seven
snakes of different species. varying in
length from four to seven inches.
This spring there was talk that the af.
fairs Of q certain county treasurer in Ohio
were not exactly right. ard a committee
was appointed to examine his books. He
received the committee in the kindest
manner. but instead of placing the books
before them, he. said: "Gentlemen, 1t is
generally supposed that | am .he.t'" 1T
"And you are bound to investigated, ave
Are." at will take you six weeks and
cost the county $500 to overhaulmy books.
won't i,?" 'I pre,une So" Then for the
sake OF the overburdened aud oppressed
taxpayers. l will confess that 1 am short
$24, ., %! No use wasting the Taxpayers
money to hunt up my stsalings!'-EI.