The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-01-13
THE TOO PREVIOUS PERSON.
A LAY DISCOURSE.

gan, He said it began in trying to
beat 2:40 with a three minute horse.
How many people in all branches OF
business are trying to beat 2:40 with
a three minute business? The man
who has a small business that is pay
ing him, and goes into debt and tries
to spread himself over too many
eggs, is trying to beat 2;40 with
three-minute horse. The young man
who gets small salary, and spends
more money for ice cream, perfumery
and neck-ties than he earns, is trying
to beat 2:40 with three-minute horse,
The girl who is intended by nature
liable the wife. Of a aahaAie aglsi 81 u
above her business and looks with
scorn upon man who earns his liv-
ing by hard work, will look at an old
maid in the glass a few years from
now, and realize that she has been
trying to beat 2:40 with three-min-
ute horse. The ordinary, everyday
sort of man who is elected to a
small Office by big majority. on ac-
count of men voting for him for char
ity, and who thereupon aspires to a
big Office for which he is untitled,
will be nominated for the bfg office
some day, and be beaten higher than
kite, and will then feel of his aching
head, examine his empty pocket
book, look around at the debts he has
contracted, and the enemies he has
made, and it will suddenly come to
him that he has been trying to beat
tWO-forty with three-minute horse.
The man or woman who leaves a pro-
fession or employment to which they
are fitted, and in which they can be
prosperous and happy and have
friends, and goes upon the stage to
compete with men and woman who
have been brought up to it, and who
have made success by lifetime Of
hard work, will some day realize to
their sorrow that they have failed to
beat tWo-forty with three minute
horse. The young man who has been
left fortune by a dead father, who
has worked lifetime to accumulate
riches, and changes from beer, that
was good enough for him before, to
champagne, and plenty of it, and
who can't find places enough to spend
his money without sitting uD. alll
night, and who finds old sledge and
penuckle too tame, and adopts draw
poker and faro. and who forgets that
his sisters are splendid company, and
gets acquainted with quick girls and
buys them diamonds as big as pieces
of alum, will in few years be walk
ing on his uppers, and having fur
collars pinned on to linen busters
for winter, and he will wake up
some morning with the almightiest
headache on record and come to
the conclusion that trying to beat
two forty with a three minute
horse is what ails him. The sum-
mer-resort hotel proprietor who
fits up an old rookery and fills it
with guests, who are seeking com
fort and charges them Fifth Ave
nue. prices for Bowery accommoda-
tions, will look at his empty house
the next year and say the season is
backward, and when the guests do
not come with the dog-days, he will
suddenly scratch his head and say
he made fool of himself last year
iii trying to beat a tWo-forty with
a three minute horse. The whole
souled, good fellow, eyerybody's
friend, gets to drinking too hard, and
as he is healthy, he gets an idea he
can beat whisky-a game that so
many have tried and failed. He
keeps it up till his nose gets red, his
eyes bleared and his voice shaky. and
he has whisky cough. and his
friends try to reason with him, and
get him to let up, but he laughs at
them with his good-natured laugh,
and tells them that he has got a con-
stitution like horse, and that moth
ing can hurt him, and he asks them
to take drink. Some day he gets
the jim-jams, and all his friends say,
II told you So" and they sit up
nights with him and drive away
snakes, and just before he dies it sud-
denly occurs to him that he has been
trying to beat two-forty with a three
minute horse. A man who is poor
and wants to live on the fat of the
land, marries pretty little rich wo-
man, and begins to squander her
money, and when she tries TO persuade
him to stop it he gets to treating her
like a dog, gets worse and strikes
her, and after awhile she gets enough
of it and obtains divorce, and mar
ries man who loyes her and doesn't
want her money, and she is happy,
and former husband becomes dead
| heat and a drun lyord and ,1,o,,l1 fair