The Evening critic., 1883-03-12
THE CRITIC ABROAD.

Ex-Speaker Kcifer is not respecter of
persons. He damns his constituents along
with tho newspaper correspondents.
Indeed, he doesn't care damn for any
body-except himself. But it may be
hyperbolical to speak of him as anybody.
During the early part of last session a
well-known Department clerk (whom, it is
said, came from Keifer's district) appeared
one evening at the Ebbitt with n couple of
Keifers constituents. They were we'll
appearing gentlemen probably farmers.
The Critic is very well acquainted with
the Department clerk, who is n gentleman
of education and good manners, and who
cannot be classed as q hanger-on or bore,
in any sense As soon as he entered the
hotel he espied the Critic, and advancing to
him introduced his friend and called him
aside to speak confidentially. The Depart
mcnt clerk seemed greatly embarrassed,
and said, hesitatingly:
"These friends of mine want to see the
Speaker They are influential gentlemen
at home, and having worked prominently
for Keifer in every campaign, feel it their
duty to call upon him before returning
home"
"Oh! that is easy; just send up your
cards." answered the Critic, turning
toward the office counter, as if to get some
"But hold onl' said the Ohio clerk;
'that can do; but | am afraid to send up
our cards, lest the Speaker refuses to see
his friends, and that will embarrass me.
You will remember how he treated mo last
winter when l called one evening with
some of his constituents"
Yes, the Critic remembered it, The
clerk had told him few days after its oc-
currence. He said he called with quite
oF auFa -,
They were all admitted to his room, and
supposed they would be treated like they
used to be treated when they called at the
Speakers office in Springfield, during cam
paigns. But no he simply shook hands in
an ice-cream freezer way, and Immediately
raising his hands said: "Pm damned
busy, gentlemen p' and without farther
courtesy sat down and commenced rum
maging through his papers, and talking to
some political schemers from another part of
the country. The constituents turned on
their heels and trotted down stairs like so
many sheep driven down a hill.
"And that was not the worst bluff the
constituents of Keifer have got from him.
He sent me word one night that he was too
busy to see anybody from Ohio or any
where else; and he said to an Ohio man
once, oh that party be damned mean
ing some of his constituents who wanted to
Gail tO SEQ nlm SoClally. III Une laCo Oh
these facts, am afraid / will be embar-
rassed if take these gentlemen to his
room," said the poor fellow; and he turned
around to his friend and remarked
81 guess the Speaker is too busy to see
us this evening"" and continued to apollo
gize for the Speaker as long as he remained
in sight of the Critic.
1t is rumored that Sam Randall is pre-
pairing card announcing the fact that he
| is not in the race for Speaker of the next
| House.
Should Virgins ever come within ten
| miles of Senator Beck he will be informed
in plain Scotch of the Senator's opinion Of
him and his prophesies about the weather.
| The Critic knows this because of remark
the Senator made few days after Congress
| adjourned.
it appears that the Senator and Mrs.
Beck had arranged to go to Florida as soon
as Congress adjourned. The object of the
| trip was to benefit Mrs. Beck's health. The
| day ofdeparture was fixed upon and the
| Senator had made all his arrangements ac-
cordingly. The evening before they were
to start he went home, presuming every
| thing was in readiness, but to be sure he
propounded this question to his wife:
'Wife, have you got everything ready to
start tomorrow
No, no, my dear, am not going until
after the 18TH"
"Why, what is the matter now 2"
Don't you read the papers? See here !"
| handing the Senator The CRITIC with
Virgins prediction about great storm on
| the 9th, 10th and 11th.
The Senator argued that Virgins did not
know what he was talking about, but it
was no use. Mrs. Beck had read it in The
CRITIC and she was not going to move
peg until after the 18th.
| They leave on Thursday next.
-:o:-
| A few years ago General Tom Nelson, OF
Indiana, was down to the Hot Springs OF
Arkansas, whittier he went to rid himself
of approaching symptoms of rheumatism
On his return homo he hauled up at
Austin, Texas. The State Legislature was
in session. General Nelson , a short num-
ber of years previous, was minister to Mex
ico-a position which gives very great
| prominence in Texas. Tom didn't feel in
any way important, however, and so
took a seat in the gallery. The Clerk of the
House, it happened, much to General Nell
sons surprise, was an old friend, and espy
ing him announced to the House that Seen
eral Nelson, late Minister to Mexico, is in
| pue Bdllery, anu SuBReStcu UHdU ue DC III
vited to take O seat beside the Speaker. o.
course, it went by unanimous consent, and
Tom looked so much more like the Speaker
than the Speaker himself, that he attracted
the attent tion, and lis presence imposed
decorum.
The Speaker finally asked him to ad
dress the House and Senate, and roya
ovation was given him on the spot.
General Nelson says he has a slight re
membrance Of some minor events that oc
CURED prior to the adjournment of the
Texas House of Representatives that day
but has none whatever of what happened
twenty-four hours subsequent. He wa:
told, however, by friend of his that h,
had heard several Of the Texas Statesmen
say that it would be the last time they eve
undertook to outdo an ex-minister in tn
matter Of hospitality, especially if the,
found out that he had been born ant
raised in old Kentucky, where good oil
Bourbon grows on the trees.
Mr.. Pennebaker, who is a Kentuckiar
is an old Mexican soldier. Full of fir
and blue grass vim when the recent littl
unpleasantness broke out among ourselve
he espoused the Union side of the issu
and commanded brigade of cavalry durin
the last years of the war. A few evening
ago General Pennebaker was recountin
some of his exploits during the time
commanded n brigade He was describin