Milford chronicle., 1883-04-20

change. he received it and said nothing.
Next day he was obliged to take another.
and during the next week she handed
out dozen coins which had the dreaded
holes letting daylight through them.
Finally, little girl cameiin one day and
inquired:
"Is this the place where ma trades 2
"Who is your map
"BIrs. -"
"Yes, this is the place. "
Well, then, / want pound OF
crackers"
They were done up for her, and she
handed over quarter which was battered
as well as punched.
Can't take it, sissy, said the grocer.
"Why not ?"
because there is a hole in it. "
! "Don't you take 'em any more p
"No."
"Well. this was the last one ma had
and she was going back to our old grocer
as soon as we got rid Of it ! guess
she'll have to give this to the orphans =
Detroit Free Press.
GETTING EVEN.
On'a Lake Shore train coming into De-
troit the other day was a newly-married
couple, the bride appearing to be about
% years old, and the groom being
dapper little chap year or two younger.
A lady who came aboard at Wyandotte
took seat just ahead, and after few
minutes she heard the pair criticising
her bonnet and cloak and general stv'o.
Without showing the least resentment
in her countenance she turned around
in her scat and said;
MADAM, viii you have your son close
the window behind youg
The son closed his mouth instead,
and the "madam didn't giggle again
for sixteen miles.
A PREMATURE DECISION.
The Superior Court Of a Southern city
WIS in session on murder case.
"CalI the next juror, Mr.. Clerk, said
the solicitor for the hundredth time.
The Clerk called, and an old man, with
an honest face and suit Of blue jean
clothes, rose in his place, and the soici-
tor asked the following customary ques-
tions:
'sHave YOU, from having seen the crime
committed, or having heard any Of the
evidence delivered under oath, formed or
expressed an opinion as to the guilt or N
noeence of the prisoner at the bar 2
'cNo, sir.
'Ts there any bias or prejudice resting
Oh yobr mind for or against the prisoner
at the bar ?"
"None, sir. "
'Is your mind perfectly impartial be-
tween the State and the accused ?"
ut is"
care you opposed to capital punish-
nent?"
I'm not. "
All the questions had been answered,
md the Court was congratulatng itself
IN having another juror, and the solici-
or, in solemn tones, said:
Juror, look upon the prisoner; pris-
,ner, look upon the juror.
The old man adjusted his spectacles,
md peeringly gazed at the prisoner for
nll half minute, when no turned his
yes toward the Court and earnestly
aid:
Judge, I'll be condemned if ! don't
believe he's guilty.
II is useless to add that the Court was
exasperated at having lost
uror. but the more humorously inclined
lad good laugh out Of the old mans
premature candor
TOO FAMILIAR.
A certain eminent temperance lee
urer was setting forth most awful por
raiture of old King Alcohol, when
nuzzy-loolking brother arose in a corner
+ the room and observed II like ask
he gen'l'm'n qussun. Certainly, my
riend," said the urbane speaker, by
II means. 81 wish T. inquire Of the
.enIm'n + he's ever been tight.
Thank heaven, no !" was the fervent
esponse; "this brain has never been
nuddled with the accursed thing.
)nce more the muzzy one spoke. Then
Ion't the genTm'n seem to use great
-miliarity bout an entire stranger, g
ong's be haint been introduoed?'
HoMNY AND ARNIoA.
An old colored man came into an
Justin drug store with his head ban
aged up and groaning as if every bone
q his body was broken
whats the matter2" asked the drug
Jerk.
"We have had the berry debble Of
ime, me aud de ole woman, battering
ach udder wid de chairs and sich.
'sWell, what do you want?p
eve needs some anarchy. Dar amt
% anarchy in the house. De bottle got
mashed in de fuss, and dc anarchy
piled all ober de floor"
''If you had more harmony in your
.ouse there would be less anarchy, re-
marked the drug clerk, smiling, IS he
He'd a small bottle Of aInica
''You am right, boss. OATS ies what
he fuss was about De reason we nee6s
narchy is bekase dar was no hominy in
e house, and dat's why do old woman
IL me wild de chair. "-7eras SifTiags.