The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-12-05
WIT AND PLEAsANrRY.

1--WE haven't forefathers in this family"
said Utah urchin, "but we've more four
mothers"
Two farmers saw a couple of dudes on a
street in Forth Worth, when one exclaimed;
"Goshg What things we see when we don't
have no gum"
A New York plumber is said to have died
from overwork. 1t is terrible hard on a man
to hug the cook and solder sink spout at
the same time.
"Are you near sighted, miss?'' said an inn
pertinent fellow To a young lady who did
not choose to recognize him. "Yes," she re-
torted; lat this distance | can hardly tell
whether you are 81 ape or puppy"
In answer to his remark that she had ven
tured aWaV from home on a bad day, she
said: 1T does look like ram. but brought
my gossiper with rue. and | ordered John
ITO meet me at the station with the phan-
kom."
"How many parts Of speech are there
JOHNNY We'll. in our house there ain {
none. cause when NANNY gets her speech
started il never parts; it just reaches from
sun to sun 'tLout even crack IN 1t "-Ionk-
ers Gazette
is this your property" asked the district
attorney OF lady who had been robbed OF
1eome iewery, as he handed her a watch
chain. Yes it certainly is mine.' But
haw do you identify it," "How do /? BY
having DOlEUt IL anu lsiiti iOE IL
"Oh, will be bite" exclaimed one of Mid
dletOwn'S sweetest girls with a look OF alarm.
when she saw one of the dancing bears OH
. the street the other day. No" said her es-
keOrt, he can't bite; he is muzzled; but he
Ian hug" oh she said with distracting
smile, Il don't mind that Transcript.
Colonel BegIer was nervous: IL may be a
fool" Nobody has disputed it," broke in
his wife Nov do wait until you are denied
a privilege. will you?' II may be fool, F"
the Colonel continued; lin fact quite agree
with you that am" and he looked signifi-
cantly at his marriage certificate hanging Oh
the wall
good story is told of the late Rev. DIR,
Muhlenburg. 1t seems to have been a rule
of ST. Lukes Hospital that no religious SER
. vices not EpiscOpalian should be conducted
there. A terrified nurse once ran to the
\ioctor saying, "Doctori doctorl a Methodist
'-5top him" said he, before his prayer
1 reaches heayen!"
, A rash mash: Yes said Fog DIR. Pill
roller is a brave man, no doubt but he car
ries bis bravery too far. He is foOlhardy,
sir; never saw so rash man. Called him to
see Mrs. f. to-day add he actually asked her
to let him see her tonguel Fact, sir, wouldn't
have believed any living man would have had
the courage to meet that tongue of hers
ABOston Transcript.
"You are growing so stoOp-shouldered,'
said Deacon Dewgood TO Farmer Furrow,
that you ought to walk with your hands be-
khind you" The granger looked at him a
moment and then said, somewhat testify
Wal. that might do for fellers like you, who
\sint got Hothin' TO do but walk up and down
Church aisle; but wouldn't l look pretty
tryin' to work a plough that way?'
Are you to take astronomy next term,
ElsieP inquired classmate of her young
friend. Hardly. But Augustus is giving
me splendid astronomical lessons during the
vacation" Isn't that nice! Has he text
books and an atlas?" "0h, Louise, my dear,
he says I'm all the world to him, and when
lean my head on his shoulder he is my
tlas."
"My observation" says an old bachelor,
'leads me to the certain knowledge that up
twenty-five years of age woman looks for
her prospective husband with an expression
of fear and tenderness, and from then until
thirty with an expectant and anxious look
but after that a RELENTLESS. cruel determine
tion baunts her eyes that bodies hardship and
revenge upon him should the truant at last
be found New York Commercial Adver-
tiser. t - - -
Women do not possess logical minds, and,
being very imaginative. are. therefore, not
TIED Tor debate 60 Emerson says; but we
~ that when it comes 10 a debate as to
whether Is Is necessary or proper Tor man
to 60 down town after supper, woman can
give the most logical man a half mile start
and not only beat him with her Imagination,
but nix II so that he wort leave the house
till after brPa kfast the next raorninp