Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-02-22
WIT AND HUMoR.

1t was a Detroit girl that married at
ID so as to have her golden wedding
when it would do her some good.
When Adolphus placed his arms
around the neck Of Angelina, he said it
was for neck press purpose
Remember, Young man." said Uncle
Nose" dat de best frien' yer's got on dis
earth is better frien' ter himself den
he is ter you
Smith discovered after marriage that
his wife wrote poetry; but he couldn't
do anything about it then--hc had taken
her for better or verse.
Cincinnati is no SLOUGH of acity They
always take the census of the city III the
cucumber season, when the population
is doubled.
That's nothing" says Fogg, COM
menting on the case Of Il somnambulist
who tumbled off from house; only a
case of falling asleep"
When young lady asked to look at
parasol, the clerk said, "Wiil YOU
please give the shade you want?' Il
expect the parasol 10 give the shade
want" said the young lady.
A young lady gave her fellow the nit
ten for some reason, whereupon he
threatened to publish her letters in re-
yenge. VERY we'll" she said, Il am
ashamed of nothing in them but their
address"
A physician says whistling is good
exercise for the lungs. But what does
it benefit youth to have Il sound pair
of lungs if he is destined to have his
head caved in by u brick before he
reaches the voting age?
Don't you think have a good face
for the stage? asked u young lady with
histronic aspirations. II don't know
about the stage replied her gallant
companion, "but you have a lovely face
for bussm
a queen bee lays in the height Of the
season from two thousand TO three
thousand eggs in twenty-four hours. -
The man who will discover how to graft
queen bee on hen will make money
enough to buy out the whole eonti-
nent in six months.
A friend of Lord Palmerston once
asked him when he considered a man
to be in the prime of life. Seventy
nine" replied the old statesman.-
But" he added, with smile. "as
have Just ended my eightieth year,
perhaps | am myself little past il"
Fogg went to the hatter's. He tried
on one The storekeeper told Fogg it
was too young for him. Fogg said il
was fortunate that the fellow putt Just
that way. Ii he had said that Fogg was
too old for the hat Fogg would never
have forgiven him.
A lady in town painted plaque in
the most exquisite manner and sent it
by express to n friend. Soon after a
note of acknowledgment came, in which
the lady stated that lit is altogether too
nice to use every day, so | only use il
for a bread plate when we have com
pany!'
JOHNNY said the teacher, "a lie
can be acted rs well as told. Now il
your father was to put sand in his sugar
and sell it, he would be acting a lie and
doing very wrong That's what
mother told him." said johnny, i'm.
petuously, "and he said he didn't
care"
A schoolmistress, while taking down
the names and ages of her pupils and OF
their parents, at the beginning of the
term, asked one little fellow, What's
your fathers name?n 80. you needn't
take down his name; he's too old to &C
to school to womanw was the inno-
cent reply.
A young lady, being addressed by 3
gentleman much older than herself, OBJ.
served that the only objection she had
to union with him was the probability
of his dying before her and leaving her
to the sorrows of widowhood. 70 which
he made the complimentary reply
blessed is the man who had 4 virtuous
wife, for the number of his days shall be
doubled
Tomorrow Sunday. isn't it, man,
ma?" Yes, dear" ''Mayn't | play
with the cards and build castles with
them?" Certainly not. dearm but,
mamma, mightn't play with the pray
er-books, you know, if build q church
with them?'
The title of the lesson was, The rich
young man." and the golden text was,
"One thing thou lackest. A teacher
in the primary class asked little tot to
repeat the two, and, looking earnestly
into the young lady's face. the child
said: "One thing thou lackest-a rich
young man.
A woman forgot TO send home some
work on Saturday On Sunday morn
ing she told little girl who lived with
her to put on her things and take the
bundle under her shawl TO the lady's
house. Nobody will see ii, she said.
But is it not Sunday under my shawl,
aunty? asked the child.
In a recent lecture, Henry Ward
Bcecher said; In this country smart
men have always chance" That is
true enough; but after they have had it
hundreds of them shake their country
and 60 to Canada and stay until the di-
rectors fix up thc affair with the stock
holders.