Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-01-02
THE MAN WHO MOVES.
Odd Experience iis the Wandering life of a
Bachelor BOarder.
INn,, York S,1r, ]


odd Experience IL. the laundering life of a
Bachelor BOarder.
New York Sun.
The Man who Moves was found by Sun
reporter temporarily at homo in
an upper chamber of no size
at all in a fashionable board
ing house. He was passing to and fro with
the absurd and misplaced hopefulness of a
Gagged tiger, and his first greeting suggested
a distrustful and disordered mind. Eying
his visitor with the unreasonable suspicion
of settled melancholia, he said sharply: II
am looking for my hairbrush. 1t must be
in this house, for haven't moved since
| Thursday"
The reporter, after glance about the
room, pointed to the window, whore, on
opposite sides, between the sash and cas-
| ing, an ivory handled brush and a brass
shoehorn were firmly wedged.
sob, yes, to be sure, that's where keep
| them,'' and the homeless outcast added
apologetically: Boarding house win
dows will rattle all night, you know,
when all other annoyances are asleep;
but always insist on room with win
dow; it makes it seem more cheerful
more-more like room; and one can't
expect everything just right in board
| ing"
Accepting the offered inequalities of a
warm ulster, good cigar and seat on a
newly plowed bed, the reporter stated the
immediate object of his visit.
"What l know about moving?" repeated
his host gloomily, as he cracked the ice in
water pitcher and hand
ed the reporter a manned
goblet. ''Well, it is combination of street
vagrancy, highway robbery, and eternal
punishment enlivened by chills and fever.
When the fororn bachelor, mistakenly
bent on unreasonable economy, goes forth
in bleak November from the lair to whose
disconforts he has weakly accommodated
himself for so long, he VOWS never again
to submit tamely to anything. After
brief struggle he falls an easy prey to the
autumn landlady; hope gives place to dis
appointment; surprise, indignation, and
despair eliminate in a blessed release, and
so on ia capo."
rs the autumn iandladY distinct spe-
| cies?'
''Not at all, her predatory instincts are
only aggravated by Saratoga. Like our
native crab, SO sensitive, yielding and de
fenceless in early summer, she becomes at
this season q greedy, confident, and in
vulnerable creature"
''Then the best time to move is"
''There is time to move in, and time
to move out. The time to move in is in
early summer or late spring, when every
one else is moving out, but"-and the Man
who Moves gesticulated excitedly-''t
time to move out is always now-to-day!
| See here" and his voice sank to sepul-
chral whisper as he cautiously closed the
door, 81 am engaged up to Feb. 1. This
| list will show you where am due-that is,
| where 1 am billed to appear-Thursdays
| in January; but hope to do better next
| year."
''You must meet great many queer
characters" remarked the reporter encour-
agingly.
among the guests as the boarding
house keeper calls her victims? No, not
so many as you might think; the women
are little odd sometimes, and one catches
| the odor of the sanctity and the flavor of
foreign missions side by side with the Wv
| id suggestion of champagne and cigar
cites; but the identity or individuality of
| the bachelor boarder is speedily crushed
out of him by systematic oppression.
''Of course, there are certain types of in
| humanity one meets again and again in
different houses-the man who reads your
paper while you wait for breakfast, for in
| stance, and who holds you personally and
violently responsible for every printed
word, Or perhaps filings the papers across
the dining room or stamps on it if he dis
likes its contents; the shy, silent man,
whose laugh is his only relief, who al
ways seems about to say something, and
fortunately forgets what it was to be; the
man who knows everything except when
an intelligent bore should mercifHlly efface
himself; the brute, pure and simple, who
entertains you aggressiyely, like an unwel
| come guest at at his own table, with stories
of the frailties and fojies Of people whom
he thinks you know and wishes he did;
and then you always have the dyspeptic
nuisance, who talks as if dyspepsia were q
cardinal virtue"
''And the table-do you get anything to
eat?" inquired the reporter, who had often
vainly tried to swallow his moneys
worth.
''Certainly notr' and the Man who
Moves wore look of blank amazement
and pity. 81 thought you had boarded.
We have our rations, of course, daily; but
doubt if we are expected to eat them.
The waiter offers "verminsiily SOUP" but
always seems relieved when that weak for
mality is over, and brings you what you
are least likely to want, asking no ques-
lions, and regards the time you spend in
waiting as a fair division of labor"
AS the reporter threw off the hospitable
ulster and bade his lost goodbye huge
bunch of keys fell from the pocket
might keys" said the Man who Moves,
laconicalIy, as he picked them up. "You
don't know any enterprising burglar who
would take them off my hands? They
stand me from dime to garter apiece
deposit" but the boarding house keepers
never have any change when you want to
| draw out.'
HoiC Prohibition Worked IL, Io,ra.
A correspondent describes how the for
| mer Maine law worked in Iowa.
But there was no law against giving the
stuff away; and it was given away ad lib
itum. In those days many little comedy
was hourly enacted in the country stores.
Enter customer when the following cell
\