Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-01-10
WIT AND HUM0R.


WIT AND HUMOR. a chance to make
about her short stay
cold spell-Ice.-Puck cties-Texas Siftir
Christmas perfume-Scent Nick A worthy citizen
New York Journal. good name is besn
Borrowed money is noteworthy gossip of crowd
object-N. o. Picayune. next door, has go
Spectators who get squeezed in sl's 'no pvr10no
pork deal naturally squeal.-Lowell 0'
Courier 1t was a cold day
Cattle trains should not be run 'iie"'enoe " l'o
without cowcatchers.-New Orleans V's"'"s - '0'',
Picayune. oion,Gn' ,n - '"lOr,ou N.,,.'
"Beecher has been pitching into sum to have it
hell, says an exchange. what, al Rustler
i'"'' -D1n~-O --NP-oD1. dispatch from
Santa Claus is undeniably an consn announcing {
American He was born in Merry voupp people of III
and-New York News. "tbe bappy pair vii
almost bad disaster" is head journey to Milwauk
ing in an exchange We are now en- Some people wish tc
gagged in wild search for good side of life at on
disaster-O City Blizzard bune
"What bustling little woman you The board of
are" said newly welded husband phia has advised
to his wife, while she adjusting friends or relatives
her make up.-Clinton Bugle. toms of dptheria
The great revoutionist-he fly ,e'in 'a'' 'er'aN'
wheel. Hosts of peope-landlords. ~ - VIZ
matter of deep feeling-ocean CIV, % io ,v'' ~,
soundings-New York Journal "" o"' 1,,11,ro
Inasmuch as the course of true love nou re ioo''
never did smooth, wouldn't it be ' ~ "', nu'o
pious idea for Congress to make ''I "o. :.
appropriation for the stream of love? Wn ' ~,
Grip. -
The famous Boston Musical Asso motber told mo wb
citation has given the Messiah seventy Clinton Buple
four times. 1t ought to know how to n m, 49,
Handel it by this tme.-Lowe i''V Dl ii"" ."
Courier. ""' Z" 'o'"io"'
! " stealing apples frt
Who was the most finished orator cbard the latter
asks correspondent. Well, Demos the orchard Wbe
themes has been finished about long subsequently asked
as any of them.-Cincinnat Satur cd he repied that
day Night struck with one G
| Boots are like men. No good when mons.-Siftings
they are tight.-Baltimore Every The foIlowno i
Saturday. And yet getting tight is fond father who
but loose habit with men.-New letter from his so
lork NEWS own alma mater:
Sixty-fve pawn checks found Accept my heartie'
on woman arrested in this city. 1t was engaged to I'll
is easy to tell her tribe. She belongs ter when was in
to the Pawnees Chron preciae the fun yo
ice-Herad it while you yo
The country must be waiting for '''nei Do"oo--
two-cent postage to be established "Ihe reason yo
several dunnng letters overdue have my DEAR was bees
not come to hand.-Cincinnat Sat look at the new mo
urday Night shoulder" said the
Excuse me-" said Arkansaw u oei'"',r ,,u''
gentleman who accdently tramped on nu'o"no in".
a lady at a church festival. 81 A"e ','- ~. =,
thought you my wife. fe."-Arkan- 81 ho...aa
! " moon for two solid
AS tight trowers going out not have done me
of style the young swells have TO have chartered
them stuffed with sand and sell them hired man TO stu
to the police for cubs.-New York Texas Siftinps
0'"''''io io."- Ho-o-.-oo- Womans ntuit
An Iowa paper speaks of loving candidate who
couple who were neighbors but negroes empoved
separated "by cold cloud of real an old musket in Il
ISM" What kind of new patent been loaded for
fence is that ?-Sftngs. AS he wanted to 10
Miss Nellie w Palmer is lecturing he called jim,
in Cincinnati He'll its locality and take the gun out il
the nature of its fires 1t is indeed it off, "No don't
difficult to keep anything from gun off, He is go
C woman.-Chicago Tribune. tomorrow, and Il
1t was the Erie druggist who Ia and Kill him. LEI
ho,,od NOW I;n;mort "pb;vn bo gun and fire it of.
cause a learned friend told him that ABOUT now he !, m
was popular for human lin c'aneo ''e cnoi'
eaments-Pittsburgh Telegraph n. Iu,cN 'n'"'''o" u
c -- Siftings
Herbert Spencer says Americans :,
take life too hard Herbert ought to NO wohoer ",e
60 and live among wild Indians were l I" num-
he would find that they take life easy KNOW Jus, eA'''
enoug gh.-Cincinnat Saturday Night. 'nuie "o'' O'
- of these sad-eyed c
In the cold weather the choicest back in the breo
seats IN the congregation are those With striped legs
the stoves and yet people brown sire
supposed to 60 to church to escape and paint bru
fre-Phladelphia Chronice-H Herald name cut short al
Fosb;orob1o lod;os on;d :. .h ed, and head
correct thing to collect ancient and REL anu =. oe
o,,r;o,s oo,,b NJ. &c H. L and half in an