The Osceola times., 1883-11-10
THE WILD, WILD WEST.
How n Californian Poured Tales of Hor-
ror In the Ears Of an Inqulriug
stranger.
San Francisco Post.

San Francisco Post.
A well known fellow citizen, now
prowling-not to say prowling-through
Europe, writes us the following touching
experience:
had been for about half an hour, he
says, sitting on the deck of one of the
miserable little packets" that ply be.
tween Dover and Calais and exasperating
my fellow passengers by refusing to join
in the carnival of sea-sickness going on
around me, when ruddy-faced, white
whiskered, bluff-looking individual who
had been cycling me for some time step
ped up and said:
BEG pardon, Pm sure; but are you
really the American?"
''The Americana replied; ''there are
several, ! believe."-
"Oh, of course, TO be sure. meant the
one on board. saw George B. Blank,
San Francisco, California, U. S. painted
on some of the baggage, and picked
you out right away as the owner" And
the stranger inspected me from head to
foot with as vivid a curiosity as if I'd
been wild man Of the woods.
"Well,' finally exclaimed. Il am an
American. What can do for you?"
"Why-er-nothing-thlt is--no Of
fense, hope, and you are Californian,
too?" he said rubbing his hands as though
he had indeed met a rara avis. "Ever
scalped by the Indians?"
81 think not" replied
you've scalped some of them, though
haven't your" persisted my inqustor.
Concluding that inasmuch as was in
for being made side-show of might as
well indulge in somc of the circus.poster
sort of thing, looked my questioner
calmly in the eyes and replied: "Some
twenty-six or seven, / forget which;
have the tally nicked in the handle of
my other scalping-knife; carry only one
bowie in this country. SO seldom one
runs across any fun over here, you
know"
"Killed many white mem" asked the
stranger, who appeared 10 be actually
quivering with excitement and curiosity.
"Only eight or ten" | replied care
lessly. "You see, in California there is
a sort of close season now for shooting
white men. 'Taint like the good old
man-for-breakfast times. A fellow is
only allowed to gun around promiscuous
like four months in the year. So it's hard
work to keep ones hand in, don't you
see."
"Well, declare!" said The apparently
stupefied man with the chop whiskers;
show about Chinamen?"
ooh! we kill Cinnamon all the year
round-when they're fat,'I explained.
"But then there is lately some sort of an
ordinance making it misJemeanor to
shoot pigtail unless he is on the shady
side of the street or gets in your way.
Folks are getting too internally particular
over that, for fact"
Ever been divorced?" finally said the
stranger, whose eyes were now sticking
out like pegs on a hat-rack.
"Nine times, think said. 'In
fact, intended to have been again when
! passed Chicago on my way over, but
the train only stopped eleven minutes
and there wasn't time enough to rush it
through-takes twenty-five minutes, you
know"
l thought this had knocked him out,
but after few minutes bcwildered
cogitation be returned TO the charge once
more.
as it really true that all Americans
wear chest protectors and cat nothing
but pic?"
"Well, you sec, the fact is that Amer.
leans are, as you know, such a frightful
busy people that they haven't time to sit
down and eat a square meal like you
English They must have something
portable, something they can carry about
with them and nibble on the sly. tell
YOU. sir, it looks like business when you
see forty or fifty men all hanging on to
the straps of street car with one hand
and eating pic with the other"
az should rather think So" mrirr. ured
the stranger.
Az IOT tIlt Nii1S- puV"Noiof w"
tinued, "they are really nothing more
than pockets suspended around the neck
and large enough to carry whole pie,
which il keeps warm at the same time.
A good, hot nincc pie slowed away IN
this manner not only imparts gentle
and grateful warmth to the entire system,
but keeps whole days rations always
within reach of the wearer. Grand idea,
isn't it?"
"Well, Pm blessed" said my fairly
paralyzed interrogator. gazing at my child.
like and ingenius face with profound
awe. "Would- would yon oblige me
with one of your cards" he said. 81 want
to show it to my family, or theyl never
believe a word Of this-never. Thanks
here's NINE"
As stepped chuckling into my own
commitment glanced at the card OF
the stranger. II read: Julius X. Jud'
kius. San Francisco, Cal"
have spent about eight hours a day
looking for that man ever since. There
will be bloodshed out of this yet--mark
my words.