davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1883-08-24
No Spots There,

1t began to rain again soon after din
ner, and disguised citizen who came
down on a Woodford avenue car be-
side an old man remarked.
81 presume this is owing to those
spots on the sun"
"IIey ?" called the other as he put
his hand to his ear. .t..
"Spots on the sun !"
"I1ey Spots : Where are the
spots p
"On the sun y
"Hey 7"
"On the sun /"
The old man rose up, crossed the
car, and looked out of the window and
squinted around for a minute, and then
returned and said
Cant see the sun tall. How did the
spots come there ?"
81 don't know
"Hey 7"
II don't know"
"Have you seen EN- p
"No.'
"You have, eh y
81 said no"
ooh you haven't What was your
object in telling me there were spots
on the sun l am not so old that ]
permit any one to make fool OF
me !"
The other now looked out of the
window and assumed a careless air, but
the old man was right after him with
"You come into car when am
minding my own business and begin
to talk about spots on the sun. Who
are you, sir 2 Did you want to get me
up 10 pick my pocket 7"
"They say the rainy weather comes
from the spots on the SUM-" explained
the other.
"Who says so Name the man I'm
around all the time, and l haven't
heard of any spots on the sun ! If you
think you can work any game on me,
you are badly sold"
The citizen got up to change his seat
but the old gent pulled him down, and
said
"You wanted to work some sort of a
game on me, and / know it. If ever
catch you within a rod of me again I'll
tie you up in knot in two minutes.
I'll put spots in you till you can't
sleep !"
The citizen made a brake and got
out, and though he had no umbrella he
dropped off in the midst of the rain
with the look Of man glad to make
the exchange. He had just reached
the curb..when the old man came to the
platform and called out
"Took me for greenhorn, did you
wish I'd walked you right to the po-
lice station All you miserable swind-
Ter! Spots on the sun! Maybe you made
something out of sweet-oiling around
me - Detroit Free Press.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1883-08-24

A colored sister of the Methodist
faith who was looking on at the INNER
sion of company of Baptist converts in
an Alabama river the other day, be.
came so interested in the spectacle as to
venture close to the waters edge. The
officiating clergyman, whether through
malice or ignorance will probably
never be known, seized and soused her
into the water before she had time to
object. She came up too much out of
breath to speak, and under she went
again, After the second dip she emer-
ged, Glazing the air wildly, and shout.
ing "Gway from here a! Don't you
chuck me under agin you nigger -
But the clergyman was inexorable and
sent her to the bottom a third time.
When finally she had escaped from
his clutches and stood dripping upon
the shore, she shook her fist and scream
ell "Oh, III fix you I'll bust the
head often you, you or'nary trash SOU.
sin me snd nearly drownin' me, when
lyou know'd well enough all de time
dat Use a Methodist and been ohristen.
ed by dem dats your betters, aud
knows mo bout 'ligion den all de Bap
lists dad ebber shouted, you mis'able
black scum aud me got de rheumatic
enough to set me crazy I'll see what
de law kin do for you! I'll have you
rested dis very day, or my names
not Joanna Johnson you woolly.
headed herrin You hear me !'rheI
Johanna went home TO change he
clothes and the ceremony proceed
cd.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1883-08-24
Hints for Love Making.

Mixed with the humor and nonsense
of the following selections are many
shrewd and valuable hints to those
young ladies whose minds are prone to
turn to thoughts of love:
First, catch your lover.
Hold him when you have him
Don't let 60 of him to catch every
new one that comes along.
Try to get pretty well acquainted
with him before you take him for
life.
Unless you intend to support him,
find out whether he earns enough to
support you.
Don't make up your mind that he is
an angel.
Don't palm yourself off on him as
one either.
Don't let him spend his salary on
you; that right should be reserved un-
til after marriage.
If you have conscientious scruples
| against marrying man with mother,
say so in time, that he may get rid of
her to oblige you, or get rid of you to
oblige her, as he thinks best.
| If you object to secret societies and
tobacco, it is better to come out with
your objections now, than reserve them
for curtain lectures hereafter
If your adorer happens to fancy
certain shade of hair, don't color or
bleach to oblige him. Remember your
hair belongs to you and he doesn't.
Be very sure it is the man you are
in love with and not the clothes he
wears. Fortune and fashion are both
so tickle it is foolish to take a stylish
suit of clothes for better or worse.
| If you intend to keep three servants
after the marriage settle the matter be-
forehand The man who is making
love to you may expect you to do your
own washing.
| Don't try to hurry up proposal by
earring on Irritation with some other
fellow. Different men are of different
material, and the one you want may go
off in fit of jealousy and forget to
come back
i If you have love letter to write
don't copy it out of Letter Writer
| Al DNui youhS ihdh iapISiSu w NphSui'
the same he would know your senti-
timents were borrowed.
Don't marry man to oblige any
third person in existence. 1t is your
right to suit yourself in the matter
But remember at the same time that
. love is blind, and little friendly ad
vice from one whose advice is worth
/ having may insure you lifetime OF
e happiness and prevent one of misery.
} In love affairs always keep you
G eyes wide open, so that when the righ
man comes along You may see him,
= When you do see him you will rec
r ognize him, and the recognition will b'
D mutual
If you have no fault to find with hin
t personally, financially, conseientiously
socially, morally, politically, relig
+. ously, or any other way, he is proba
a bly, perfect enough to suit you and yol
- can afford to
IL Believe him
}. Hope in him
a Love him
nj Marry him.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1883-08-24
S7RENGG III

to vigorously push a business,
strength to study a profession,
strength to regulate household,
strength to do days abor with
out physical pain. All this repre-
sents what is wanted, in the often
heard expression, "0h wish !
had the strength" II you are
broken down, have not energy, or
feel as If life was hardly worth lw-
ing, you can be relieved apd re-
stored to robust health and strength
by taking BROWNS IRON BIZ
TERS, which is a true tonic--a
medicine universally recommended
for all wasting diseases.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1883-08-24
A CLEAR HEAD.

zone year ago was induced to try AYERS
PILLS as remedy for Indigestion, Con-
stipation, and Headache, from wnich
had long been great sufferer. Commenc-
Ing with dose Of five Pills, found their
action easy, and obtained prompt relief In
continuing their use, single Pill taken
after dinner, daily, has been all the medi-
sine have required. AyER's PILLS have
kept my system regular and my head clear,
and benefited me more than all the medi,
eines ever before tried. Every person sim.
ilarly afflicted should know their value
i62 State st., Chicago June G, 1882.
NJ. V. WATSON"
For all diseases OF the stomach and bowels,
try AYERS PILLS,
PREPARED by
Dr.J.C. Ayer& Co., Lowell, Mass.
Sold by all Druggists,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1883-08-24

A gentleman was walking along the
sidewalk and two young men in the
street were playing ball, One threw
the ball wide and hit the gentleman
with terrific force right back of the ear,
making him think he was slain, The
young man who threw the ball came
mp TO him and apologized. He said
"l'm mighty sorry it hurt you, but it's
my luck you were there, If you hadn't
been, the ball would have broken a
pane of glass in that basement win,
dow
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1883-08-24

Four bridesmaids at a recent English
wedding carried large hand bouquets
of daffoails.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1883-08-24

Sr HE A MONTH and BOARD for three live
%o0 Young men or ladies in each county,
Address 7. w. ZIEdLER Co, Philadelphia, Pa
July H-iw q
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1883-08-24

BROWNS IRON BlTTERS is
a complete and sure remedy for
Indigestion, Dyspepsia, Malaria,
Weakness and all diseases requir-
Ing a true, reliable, non-aIcoholic
tonic. It enriches the blood, gives
new life to the muscles and tone
to the nerves,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1883-08-24
IRATas OF ADvssrIsNq.

Yearly advertisements payable quarterly Tran
sient Advertisements must be paidfor before insert.
cd except where parties have accounts,
Legal advertisements two dollars per inch for
three Insertions and at that rate for additional
insertions without reference 10 length.
Executors, Administrators, and Auditor notices
three dollars. Must be paid for when Inserted.
Transient or Local notices, ten cents line, regu-
lar advertisements half rates.
Cards in the business Directory" column, one
dollar year for each line.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1883-08-24

sol N. fremon, ~. B.itimoge
During III, war | Mas in.
jured in the stomach by apicc,
of a shell, and have suiielcu
from itever since. About;our
years agoit brought on paTaly-
sis, which kept me in bed slA
months, and the best doctors
in the city said ! could nut
live. suffered feayfully from
indigestion, and for over two
years could not eat solid food
and for a large portioh Of the
time was unable to retain even
liquid nounshment, l tried
Browns Iron Bitters and now
after taking two bottles | am
able to get up and go around
and am rapidly improving.
e.. DECKER.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-18
BRITANNIA.

IN THIS AGE OF GREAT Dis
| coveries, probably the most USE
full one is that which has lately been
attracting the attention of persons
in this Territory, who were immedi-
ately cured of Rheumatism on test
ing its virtues. Doctor Hill, of
England, an eminent physician of
fifty years experience, and who has
about five thousand patients, has
made the discovery, and places this
valuable remedy in the reach of
afflicted persons IN the New as we'll
as the Old World. Testimonials of
influential persons living in Salt
Lake City can be furnished on ap.
plication. One bottle cures by re.
moving the causes from the blood.
1t also blalds up the system and
makes tBaged as 1.-the and active
as those 81 younger years. All pain
removed in few hours. Ask for
DR., Hills Celebrated Anti-Rheu-
matte Elixir. For sale at q. G. M: l.
Drug Department, sole agent for
Utah. Price, $3.50 per bottle. 1t
has never been known to fail, and Is
noted throughout Great Britain as a
marvellous and most useful dlscov-
cry. sly
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-18
Farms and Grass Lots.

eSOOO FIFTEEN ACRES OF FINE
poOOo farming land, with rock house of
three rooms, good barn and Clubhouse, also
frame dwelling Of two rooms; good water.
right, at Bountlful, Davis county; also fifteen
totwenty acres Of bench land adjoining Barn.
hams place on the south; twelve acres IN
lucerne, rood water rights.
WE HAVE SOME GOOD HAY AND
w srable land for sos per acre, few miles
from town close to the railroad.
$40 An ACRE FOR GO Upland NEAR
full water right and good soil; close to mar
ket, and sure and safe investment
Q0 ACRES OF LAND SIX MILES SOUTH
OO west Of city; twenty acres planted to lu-
cerne, balance farming land and orchard; title
clear and complete water right. $500.
JlARM FOB SALE, 20 ACRES OF FARM
L ing land, on bench east of city; water on
land; price, $500:
PAOOO level land, seven miles north OF
the city, water right; % acres in lucerne,
C11OO WILL BUY A FARM OF FORTY
0I1OO acres about half mile south OF
the Sixth Ward bridge. Will exchange for
city property. Water right to land.
S95O TEN ACRES OF GOOD Land
miles east of State Road, full water right; Az
I'VE WILL SELL RIGHT NOW FORTY
w acres farming land, one aud half
miles south Sixth Ward bridge, fenced, with
$40 an acre water right, for $50 so per acre;
or &c acres close to C!syton's, which grows
lucerne three feet high, with water right, for
S27. 80 per acre; 10 acres in lucerne.
G,11 600 ANY PERSON HAVING THIS
Sl ,OOO amount to invest In a number
one farm-the best in the Territory-in a
high state of cultivation, containing arabic,
pasture and lucerne land, fields Of red top,
good wheat land and full water supply. with
three adobe buildings of five rooms, porch
summer kitchen and good cellar to eacn, can
get such a place from US on the Cottonwood,
Salt Lake county
coSOO THIRTY ACRES OF FIRST
YOCOO class land, nearly all cultivated
and some timber, with an adobe house of five
rooms, plaster cd outside, porch and summer
kitchen. One mile southeast OF Brinton's
GI0c0 FORTY ACRES OF LAND, as
P4OOO acres cultivated, arabic and pas
ture land, rich soil, with fve-roomed house,
good cellar and summer kitchen. About nine
miles south of city.
M11Oo SEVENTY ACRES OF CHOICE
SllUO black arabic land across the Jor-
dan River from Pettit's, opposite the Point
of willows. II il about the best investment
Sor farmer that We know offor the money.
Flee from saleratus and near to market.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-18
WHY HE LOST HER.

Olemargarine McClOskey was the
flower of plat 6. AS she sits at the
piano one stormy night in Novem.
Der her chestnut sorrely hair falling
in rich profusion down the crick of
her fair back. suddenly knock
is heard at the front door and a
moment later Sch astopol Virgins
enters and says Chow do you dog
The girl turns on the piano stool
anf as she does so her splendid
eyes are not less brilliant than the
diamonds which sparkle in her
her mothers bureau; for her
yearning heart tells her that Sebast>
Opol Virgins is not the man to
come all The way from Fort Henri
man to her father s mansion on
Carrot street for nothing.
He has drawn nearer to her now /;
as he reaches out his great strong
arm to clasp her hand in his, she
feels the time has come for him to
declare the affection his every act
and look and gesture has expressed
through the long blissful hours of
sweet October conference. For a
moment neither speaks. OleOmar-
garine is thinking how pleasant will
be the journey of life in the same
two-seated with SebastopOl Wig
gins. How true she will ever be to
him and how in the autumn of her
days the dull-red.glow-of-Ihe-dy-
ing-embers of her cOnstancy will
still warm her partners aged heart
and throw the while mellow
CLEAN of happiness athwart the
horizon of all their earthly hopes.
Marcy" he says at length, the
girls heart meantime jumping like
the local stock market, 81 have an
i'm pOrtant avowal to make. Are
you strong enough to hear it now,
or shall / wait till you have had
your souper ?"
"Make it now, Dearest she muir.
murs in voice soft as the plush
eettee on which they nestle, her i'm
nocent head resting securely upon
her "Basta's" own, broad, wish
bone. For moment he hesitated
and in the lambrent CLEAN of his
cold grey eye tear IN
hidden wells up to the winkeI
and falls upon the elder down
which clusters over his upper lip.
Then placing his stalwart arm or
her larboard side, he gaZes sorrow
fully into the confiding face that is
upturned to his and says in a voice
as shaky as freight rates this side OF
Omaha:
"a great misfortune has befaller
me, Marcy, and l am afraid oul
marriage can never be. Summon
all your fortitude and try and bear
it like the brave girl you are"
| ooh, tell me ALL" she screams
this suspense is killing me
What has happened? Are you
not your mothers son? Have you
been summoned as a juror? Do'you
subscribe for the Tribune? Tell me
the nature of your great grief and !
will share it with you;" and the girl
sobs as if in a convulsive custom
made fit.
s'No," he answers, as his FESTIVE
eye flashes the torture his bosom
feels, "Mine is deeper sorrow
am in whirlwind of trouble-a
perfect cyclone Of misfortune. |
have lost my little ALL
ooh, Sebastopol, you have not
been gambling"
."Worse, dearest, I have loaned my
money to Methodist minister.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-18
ELL B. KELSEY,
Real Estate, Loan and General House Agent.
OFFICE: 25E &27E FIRST SOUTH STREET.
S1100

HOUSE OF SEVEN ROOMS.
OIL wv kitchen and outhouses, new well
and pump, stable, etc lot 5x10 rods, near the
corner of Eighth East and Phird South
5000 LEAsEH0LD ON CONNER
go cial Street, near First South,
years lease of ground at low rental.
10000 MODERN STYLE RUSTIC
P-00O frame house, adobe lined, FIVE
rooms, hallway, summer kitchen, cellar and
eosl house, good water; lot 212 front ny 10
rods in rear, tastefulIy improved. making a
Co00O ADOBE HOUSE OF FOUR
OHOoo Ioonss and Summer kitchen, lot
s22o rods, set with choice varieties of large
and small fruit, good garden; situated in
city.
S65O FRAME HOUSE OF TWO ROOMS
with cellar. two acres and sixty rods
OF ground, well imp owed garden, orchard
Grove, Utah County.
SQ00O a RUSTIC HoU E OP EIGHT
rooms, bath room, closets, pantry,
etc. barns ard outbuildings; lot 3kxia rods,
we'll improved; ne n business centre.
$4,000 MO ERN ADOBE HOUSE OF
poONV FIVE rooms. hallway, battery and
summer hen, large barn with ten stalls;
lot 5120 rods, wei improved; paddock of 21%
acres in grass
$4,000 A FRAME HOUSE OF NINE
in fine condition; lot 66xI65 feet, with right
~ aileyway to rear; lawn, shrubbery, flowers
aud fine asphaltum walks, situate in Twelfth
Ward
s-0O0 A FRAME HOUSE OF EIGHT
~~-Oo rooms, and all modern convent
ences; closets. bath room, buttery, celisr,
hydrant water. etc, and lot 66x165 feet, well
improved with shrubbery fruit trees and fine
barn. Close to business centre.
x0ROO a NEAT AND WELL FIN.
TooOO' ished house OF eight rooms, but
terry, closets, etc, and lot 41-2xll rods in
18th Ward, two blocks north of Temple
Block; hydrant water in the house.
SdRO0 A NEW FRAME ADOBE
Q1OOO' lined house Of five rooms. and
cellar; fine flowing spring; lot 10x20 rods
we'll fenced and under splendid cultivation.
$4,000 HOUSE OF NINE ROOMS, LOT
QtOOO' Sxl0 rods, barn, sheds, etc: one
half block from Vain street; good neighbor-
hood
.16OO FRAME ADOBE LINEDHoUsE
P1 wv of four rooms, lot 5x20 rods, well
set with good orchard; close to car line 11tk
Ward.
C10OO MODERN STYLE HOUSE OF
q t@OO' five rooms, cellar, etc, together
with farm of 100 acres, we'll fenced and
partly cultivated; stu sted in stockton,
Tooele County; will exchange for city prop
erty This is surely big bargain.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-18

1900 a TITLE TO TWELVE ACRES IN
WV Emigration Canyon. with house,
springs, water, shade. lots Of feed, etc just
the place for dairy.
$4,000 A FIRSr-CLAsS FARM OF Sc
%oIov acres, With all tho improvements,
eeOO0 A FARM OF THIRTY.sIx
0O0oo acres OF remarkably good soil,
with brick house of seven rooms, brick cellar
and granary. and log cabin OF two rooms;
full full water right two good orshsrds reaper
,,206 TEN ACRES OF GOOD FARMING
PH|o land over Jordan, Brighton farming
plat, adjoining the Smith property; first
cox AN ACRE. FORTY ACRES OF
pCO hrstclass farming land, no gravel or
hills, lies well for watering; lumber shsnty
and good we'll of water, three miles west Of
Husler's grist mill; good orchard. For full
$40 PER ACRE. THREE ACRES OF
WV land, half mile south of the asylum;
lined and orchard.
particulars call and see US.
For Rent.
A new two story adobe house of seven
rooms and kitchen, hall, closets, etc, well
finished, near the depot; $50 per month.
A new ADOBE house Of eight rooms, bath
room. closes, butteries, with hydfant water
well finished, close to the theatre, $40 pei
month. Cooking range for sale cheap.
House, three rooms. six blocks south Of
jennings corner, IS.
Two large, well finished rooms, Eleventh
| ward, Sl1.
Five rooms and good rock cellar, SECOND
i South, $50
a FOUR oomed brick house, crrner Mair
and Seventh South; $12
| Handsomely furn1, he'd rooms from So to 81
| per month, one block from NJ ain sreet.
Rooms, en- suite, $50 per month.
| Office room, feel front bv Is feet back, OF
Main street. ground floor; So.
| A two story house OF eight rooms, brick
in a pleasant locality; $40.
| One or more furnished rooms. near to busi
| ness, First South street.
A. large and well arranged fashionabl
house on South Temple street, to lease for
term Of years; stables. orchard, small fruits
| ETC., on Brigham street.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-18
SPECIAL.

SPECIAL.
moooo A FARM OF THREE AND
SZUUO three quarter acres of black soil,
a good rock and adobe house Of nine rooms,
outhouses, etc., an adobe stable and barn;
rich land, fine orchard Of fruit bearing trees,
etc. close to the CITY. Everything complete
appertaining to No. farm.LOr r, tne Size oi
IN PLIGiBLE PIECE OF GROUND TO
A lease In = fashionable part of the city
close TO Main street, on which man OF means
can build house to suit his own notion. Can
give q ten years lease, at q figure that VIII
not be higher than paying reRt.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-18
BUSINESS GROUND.

wish to call the attention of business men
desiring 10 establish themselves IN this city,
to two business properties have for sale, one
Of them is situated on the west side OF Main
street, just Forth Of the Walker house; 291z
feer front By los feet rear. The other 50 feet
north front by les feet rear, situated IN the
direct hne OF business expansion, Immediately
adjoining the Continental hotel property on
First South street. For price and terms Of
sale call u oon me ct my Office, No. g and %
First South street.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-18
8. DARKE. WIN. FULLER
.S.W.DARkE&Co.
NOTARIES PUBLIC
Fire Insurance,
Accident Insurance,
Real Estate,
Money Leaning.

w The following is LESS THAN
oNE-HALF the property zoe hGoe for
sale: the balance aOiI be published
neat Sunday.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-18

FOR DYSPEPSIA and Liver
complaint, you Geve a printed
guarantee Oh every bottle - Shiloh's
pItaijzer. 1t never faile to cure.
SOLD oy z. c. ID. I. nrug Store. db,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-11-18

FOH Lame Back, Slce or Chest
use ShilOh's Porous Plaster. Price
2ss. Sold by z. G. II. L Drug Store.
~