Morning journal and courier., 1883-12-08
ENORMOUS.
Youths Cor paniop.

] It is said that Chang, the Chinese giant, Is l go enormous that he sleeps in three beds and speaks in eight languages. Call. ! Lots of business men have involuntarily l adapted themselves to the present weather. The days are short and 50 are they.-Phila- ! delphia Chronicle.
 l A Franklin county Tenn. farmer realized the past season $S,o0O from eighty acres of 1 straw berries. He also realized that his neigh bors are internal thieves.-Boston Post 1 4 contemporary talks of lighting polyga- my with words" But it is unnecessary to say that words can have no deterrent effect 1 upon the man who has half a dozen wives in 1 his family. y.-Boston Transcript. 1 In announcing late visit of her majesty to Scotland Scottish paper said: ':Prepara l tlons are now being made for her reception, several tradesmen having received orders to | be immediately executed at Balmoral." l It must be nice to be farmer with noth 1 ing t0 do all winter but lie back in the chinl- 1 ney corner and drink cider and tell lies about l the tough storms of bis boyhood when he used to walk seven miles to school-Rock- ] land Courier.
 l Mary" said 8 lady to her green hired | girl, "Was the boarder on the third floor inc 1 briated when he came ill last night?" No, mum; 1 he drunk he couldn't get up stairs, l and let him sleep in the back hall. ."-Mer- 1 chant Traveller.
 l Disraeli said short time before his death ''You cannot convert l D 900 tons into 20, 900 l tons" This willie auss ice dealers to smile until the corners Of their mouths get all tan 1 gled up on the back of their necks.-Bie- l marck Tribune.
 "A popular writer laments the fact that American poets are declining" It is differ ent with the American poets themselves. They lament the fact that the editors of mag azinss and newspapers are declioing.-Nor- ristown Herald.
 ''Ls MT. McJessup at homer" inquired ''Ah! sir, replied the maid, The is dead and was buried the day before yesterday" ''Dead, is he-er-well, then, won't disturb him. ."-Texas Siftings.
 An exchange feelingly reminds us that nearly all the men identified with the New York THbune under Horace Greeley are either dead or have gone elewhere. The same is true of those who served under Julius CB- sGr.-Lowell Courier.
 When a widow says she doesn't intend to marry again it may be that her husband was so good that she never could care for another man; and then again 1t may be that her ex- perience with married life hasn't made her wish for any more of it; and it may be that she ies.-Boston Post.
 Down in New Jersey the greatest barbari. ties are Perpetrated by those who go out hunting snipe. A very common occurrence is for six sportsmen to surround single snipe and go through such ridiculous though highly sportsmanlike performances that ths poor bird actually dies laughing at them.- Lowell Citizen.
 It is the correct thing now to lie awake nights and rave about chrysanthemums, to cultivate them, wear them, eat, drink and talk them. True it is, three women in five will call them ''chrysanthums, but that's all right. People with craze are not supposed to know much about the thing over which they have gone daft. No matter if you can get no nearer to it than ''chranthums," you must have the craze. As to calling the hardy little flower by it's full name, you can't be ex- pected to do that unless you carry type writer.-Burlington Hawkeye.
 Little drops of printer ink
 little type ''displsyed,"
 Make our merchant bosses
 And all their big parade.
 Little bits of stinginess,
 Discarding printers ink,
 Busts the of business,
 And sees his credit sink.
 -Peoyis Transcript.