Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-02-03
BREvITIES

When is lady's arm not lady's
arm? " hen it's a little bear.
A man can't make an honest living
without trying the experiment.
A modern philosopher thinks that
early rising is well enough as far as
bread is concerned.
Children are like boils Everybody
knows how to take care Of those that
belong to other people. s..--
A machine for pressing hops has
recently been invented. America is
the home of the hop pressed.
The trouble and worry and wear
and tear that comes from hating peo-
pie makes hating Improbable.
The King of Burmah has four
Queens, and Gen. Schenck considers
him on the road to prosperity.
Logic is logic, and it does not fol
low that Noah brewed beer. in the
ark because the kangaroo went on
board with hops.
It's the woman who has a brown
plush jacket on who can quickest tell
sealskin when she sees it on an
other woman.
A Michigan woman fell into cold,
cold cistern, and got himself out
within half an hour without scream
ing or in any way calling for help.
Governor elect Stoneman's private
secretary's name is Dam. To visitors
the General can say, instead of us
ing a harsher expression: Go to
dam
1t is really very little use teaching
a future great man penmanshIp.
When he gets to mans estate he IS
sure to write as if he were drawing a
design for a cobweb factory.
Joseph Cook of Boston delivered
two hundred and fifty lectures dur
ing his recent tour around the world.
That we are still on terms of peace
with all nations, save the Indians, Is
a little remarkable.
A Chicago lover bet his girl that
he could tell what she was thinking
of. He thought she was thinking OF
him, but she wasn't. She was study
ing how to make over an old dress so
as to make it look new.
One cannot but view with alarm
the reported growth of sponge cul-
ture in Florida, for any one who has
suffered from the experience knows
that the cultured sponge Is the very
1yorea of tho wh,ola SpecieS
1t isn't using a pair of dull shears
that impels an editor to utter words
not found in the dictionary; but it
is putting paste on the wrong side OF
a clipping and not finding out the
mistake until he reads the proof.
"Musico You ask how we pro
nounce pianoforte. We are not ex-
actly certain whether the best usage
authorizes four or five syllables; but
a friend of ours, who is we'll up IN
snch matters, rs he lives in commu-
nifty thickly populated by the piano,
forte, pronounces it confounded
nuisance. .-
A correspondent asks: rs there
anybody by the name of Smith who
has come prominently before the
public recently?" Not to any great
extent, except, perhaps, an individual
by that name who has killed five
men and married fifteen wives. But
his troubles are more of domestic
nature, and he lives III Texas.
New York policemen are to have
signal boxes on their beats connected
by wire with the central Office so that
by touching a knob every little while
they will know at headquarters
whether the men are on duty or not.
This is a much simpler plan than the
old one of sending an officer around
to wake them up every hour.
The young man who struts around
CITY streets in new store clothes, puts
on no end of airs and tries to give
the impression that at home he lives
in a marble mansion, is the one who
patronizingly slips $5 bill into the
hand of the hotel porter, who shows
him to his room, and then, on going
to bed, blows out the gas. We do
not mourn the loss of the young man,
but we do hate to see hotel porters
spoiled in that way.
"Then you are thinking of building
a residence this season?" suggested
Flub TO one of our heavy pockets.
Yes, thought l should get up some
thing in that line What style of
architecture Gothic or Doric or
Corinthian or-?' "Oh, little of
everything. My wife inclines to the
Mary Ann style; but guess I'll put
up genuine Betsy Jane cottage.
with "a piazza all around it. Thatll
suit me well enough"
How much did you say the watch
was WORTH "One hundred and
fifty dollars" replied the jeweler.
"Cheap enough; just charge it,
please;" he said as he slipped it in
his pocket. and moment later he
was "out in the cold world, out in the
street" A policeman overlook him
at the next block, however, and in
Just one hour by the new watch, he
was telling the new Judge that he
wasn't aware of any law in this
country which could imprison a man
for debt.
A nice looking young man, who
seated himself in well-til North
Side car, held in between his jeweled
fingers the stump of a cigar, giving
out its dying fun es. They are not a
pleasant odor, even to old smokers,