The Iola register., 1883-12-21
The OH Han Objects.

Gustavus Dc Snide is a very callow
Fouth, but he doesn't think SO. His pa
s a rich man. hut a hard working one
still. Gus drops into his fathers otfice
nearly every day, and flatters himself
that his doing SO is OF some earthly i'm
portanee there, but he never remains
more than a few minutes, and no atten-
ion whatever is paid to the orders he
issues. He is ultra fashionable in dress
parts his hair in the middle, has a
dainty mustache the size of a pencil.
and devotes large share of his waking
hours to smoking cigarettes and breath
ing the smoke through his thin nostrils
in little puffs. He hasn't an earnest
aspiration in all the world.
But he did have spasmodic one re-
Gently. He met very pretty girl at a
party-a girl bright, rosy, vivacious;
rs merry a witch as a man ever saw,
and as unlike himself as Vulcan. Gus,
who can blankly but insolently stare at
every lady who passes, couldn't for the
life of him smirk at this laughing little
miss. His bold eyes actually fell as he
stood before her, and his tongue refused
to utter the vapid nothings he is wont
10 rattle of so glibly. firm in the belief
that he is polished man of society.
Finally he managed to speak his one
pet compliment. and Miss Merry actu-
ally laughed in his face and ran away.
Gus was captivated.
During the evening he overheard her
Soy that of all music in the world male
luartette is the most celestial. and from
hat moment he had motive. If there
is one attainment tbat the modern lah-
1e-dah more prides himself about than
another, it is his voice. His thin. qua
verinG tones are to him melliiiuOusly
sweet, SO Gussy straightway joined q
"Flower from -my-angel-Mer-hother's-
grave" Glee Club, and actually prac-
ticed an hour or two day, with the
view of pleasing one whom he fondly
hoped would become his sweetheart
He ventured to call once, but was all
broken up by hearing her bluff old
father mutter something to her mother
about ''confounded dude" so he gave
up the siege direct and decided to capti-
vate through the charms of music alone.
He practiced more assiduously than be-
fore, and last Thursday evening he ap-
piled his musical battery. Accompa-
MED by another tenor, baritone and a
bass singer. he softly approached the
moonlit front CT the home of Miss
Merry, and after Gussy had masticated
a troche, and got into the right attitude
TO ''kill her silly" at her first glance
through the lattice. the baritone strum-
med a prelude on a guitar. When he
concluded Gus was so agi;ate that he
failed to commence his serenade, so the
prelude was repeated. This time Gus
was ready, but his voice wasn't. 1t
didn't grasp the keynote within two
tones and half and the basso switched
him on to the right key with tone that
could be heard block away. Then
Gussie sang:
Their mer-hoon is sweetiy smiling, love,
Smile thou on me-.
''Smile on you, you cOnfounded little
tailor's sign, you. If she ever does, the
will call for what there is
left of yOu!' ruared a voice from an up
per window. and the upper portion of a
mans body and = bulldog revolver put
in an appearance. Snow you Just scoot,
Or I'll work your clothes all full of
button holesm and the sereGads was
over.
Gus has abandoned music, and re-
turned to cigarettes. = Detroit Free
Press.