Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1883-10-27
ANOTHER RIB BROKE,
A Young Man who Had Great Deal to
Learn About Hugging.

IN chicago. a young man spent an
evening with his girl, and during the
evening, while the family was pres
ent in the parlor, he was demure and
bland and child-like as could be
wished. The mother came into the
room after the family had retired TO
get handkerchief she had left, and
the young man was seated in char
in the middle of the room, while the
girl was seated on the sofa, and moth
ing that the mother could see, in the
actions of either, led her to think they
were more than passing acquaintance.
1t seemed to her as though the young
people had met before, but there was
no evidence that they were well ac-
quainted. All night, after he had
gone, the girl complained of pain in
her side, and in the. morning a doctor
was called, and he found that two of
the girls ribs were broken. How it
was done, nobody knew. The girl
could not tell for the life of her, tho
she blushed when asked about 1t, and
the mother looked very wise as she
looked at the doctor. The doctor
made some enquiries, set the ribs and
went away, and the girl proceeded to
recover. That evening the young
man called, and was astonished when
informed of the extent of the girls
injuries, and wondered how it could
have happened, though the mother
watched his face close as he spoke,
and detected not only blush but a
profuse perspiration on his face. : She
had been girl once herself, and
though she never had any ribs broken,
she had been Rugged some. 1t was a
trying position for all of them. The
father was away on a tri p to Wlscon-
sin, and when he came home the mat
ter had to be explained to him. He
was told that the ribs Just simply
broke themselves, and that neither the
mother nor the girl nor the young man
could account for it, and yet all three
of them blushed terribly. The father
patted the girl on the head, told her
she would be better when she got over
it, and then called the young man into
the library. The young man was so
weak he could hardly walk, and when
he sat down he took a handkerchief
and mopped his brow, and wished he
was dead. The father looked the
young man over and was sorry. Tie
finally said:
"Young man, guess can give
you some points on hugging. You
must first learn that girl is not con-
structed on the same principle of an
iron fence or truss bridge. A girl is
a delicate piece of mechanism. like a
fine watch, full of little springs, wheels,
jewels, etc. The breaking of any one
Of these would cause her to cease
keeping time, and necessitate her be-
ing taken to the jeweler for repairs.
In hugging girl you don't want to
go at it as it raking and binding, or
catching sturgeon. l know that,
where the family sits up late with a
young couple and spoils several
precious hours of hugging, that unless
the young man has a good head,
when left alone with the object of his
affection, that he is liable to overdo
the matter, and try to make ND for
lost time. He seems to want to hug
u lot ahead, and grabs the girl as
though he wanted to break her in
two. This is wrong. You should 90
at it calmly and deliberately, even
prayerfully, and be as gentle as
though she was an ivory fan. The
gentle pressure Of the hand that the
girl loves, even the touch, is as dear
to her as though you :un her through
a stone crusher. You should not grab
her as you would a bag of oats, and
leave marks on her that will last a
lifetime. A loving woman should
not be made to feel that her life is in
danger unless she wears corset made
OF boiler iron. hope this will be a
lesson to you, and hereafter, if you
cannot control your feelings, | will
provide Il wooden Indian for you to
practice on at first until YOU have de-
veloped your muscle and got tired,
and then we can turn our daughter
loose in Il room with you and not feel
that it is necessary to keep surgeon
handy. In allowing you to keep con
pany with MY daughter do not pro-
vide you with a human gymnasium,
dressed in a Mother Hubbard wrapper
and bangs. You can readily see that
a girl would not last a season Though
if she had to have ribs set once a
week. Please think tins over. and if
the girl is well enough next Sunday
YOU can drop III and try some more
ribs. Now, you go home and hug
hat rack for an hour or two and have
it repaired in the morning.
The young man went out into the
open air, took his hat OFF to cool his
head, and hired man to kick him.
Exchange.