The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1883-10-05
PHUNNYGRAPHS.

"Sober seeon,l thoughts come
with tue morning headache.
Though not man of means, the
policeman leads club life.
A tramp called his shoes corpor.
ations because they had no soles.
There is more joy upon earth
over one stu found out than over
ninety and uine slns torsaken.
Why does a man dress up bis
wife tor other men to run after,
aud then have the tradesmen run.
ming after him.
IN Incorporate citizen OF Jer.
sey City calls his stomach "IIades,r
becanse il is the place of departed
spirits.
Gov. Butler is reported to have
Que eye for the White House. 1t
is probably the bow.leggcd one.
The other eye Is. Tor Gov. Butler.
The only negative that we nc.
cept with anything like good grace
ia this world is the photographers
aud even then We demand proofs.
as that gentlemen II friend of
yours " asked II newly introduced
lady Of another at reception.
"Oh, no, he's my husband was
the innocent reply.
During the recent sham battle
in New Orleans, IA number OF the
participants were seriously injured,
aud 1t is reported that they have
all applied for pensions.
sis there anything wrong in
kisslngp he asked her rs they
stood together at the gate. "Cer.
talnly there isl she replied. "or
there wouldn't he any fun IN it.n
81 think the goose has the adj.
vantage of you," said the lan,Flaty
to an expert boaider, who was
carving. 'Guess he has, mum
In age" was the quick retort.
1t kind OF breaks up tue Girl at
the summer resort to have him
n~i,ely ask her: "What's going
to be your little dodge to avoid
recognizing me When we meet in
the city %
Mamma (trying to untangle q
Skeiu of silk that Charley had
tangled: ~ wonder where the
end Of this sken eau be- Charley
tinnoeentlN: "perhaIs the baby
has chawed it Off
An exchange thinks that if JAY
Gould had devoted his time to
drinking beer, Starving his family
and bowling 'death to starving
monopolists,' he would not be as
comfortably fixed as he is now.
Isn't it remarkable with what
nonchalance % man with u slow
walking horse will always keep
just iu the middle of crowded
street aud retard u whole process
sion of anxious teams behind him,
when by taking to the side they
could go as they pleasedi
Numerous foreigners have been
"charmed' with This country. aud
now Mary Anderson sxclaims that
Sue is "charmed with Eugland,
charmed" That's right, Miss
Anderson, remain "eharmrd. q aud
bring back that wealth they have
''charmed' out of this country.
On the return of the Cottage
Hill fishing party the high school
girl remarked to ber mother, '.Now
prepare Tor piscatorial exaggera-
tioas." "Yes," replied the old lady,
81 made Bridget bring in the
clothes an hour ago, for thought
it looked like rain"
An Oswego Falls man sent a
.two-pound stone into an apple tree
for, the purpose of knocking down
some fruit, a large Que tell, and
while STOPPING to pick the apple
up the stone descended on the
back OF his head, raising lump
about the size of the apple be was
after. The next time be goes after
apples he will use u rake with a
string tied to it.
"Are you to take astronomy next
term, Elise y inquired Il classmate
OF her young friend. "Hardly.
But Augustus is giving me splen.
did astronomical lessons during
vacotion.' Isn't that nice9 Has
he text books aud atlas ~ .sOb,
Louise, my dear! He says Im ali
the world to him, and when lean
my head on his shoulder he is my
Atlas"
He was a mashcr holding up the
corner, aud as Il very pretty girl
came along he stopped her, and
made break to mash her. Sab,
he said, with u greasy smile, tip.
ping his hat, al beg your pardon,
but are sou not Miss But be.
fore he could continue she iuler-
rupted with; Mot mis- taken in
thinking you are u ioola No, |
don't think | am,o and she sailed
past, while he fell up against n
lamp.post and gasped as the crowd
standing around gave him the
laugh tillit made him sick in IA
languages.