davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic., 1883-05-02
The CRITIC ABROAD.

There was n town In tho East called Towks.
lis people were rsthe tlc-so veryl
So completely msthete
There was nothing to eat
For the poor-so they starved In Tewksbury.
But provident gang ruled Tewksbury,
OF expenses exceedingly chary-
They sold tho dead bodies
To dlssecting Tom Noodles.
II was cheaper TO soil than 20 bury.
-:o:-
The moon shed its pale green light down
on the Capitol Park last night, giving the
statues of great men which are scattered
through theres a wierd aud ghostlike ap-
pearance. Especially was this the case
with the marble representation of Wash
ington which faces the main portico. As
the Critic passed through the reservation
last night he noticed an individual stand
ing in the dimly outlined shadow of the
immortal George, gazing in mute astonish-
ment at his well chiseled features
As the Critic neared the solitary indi-
vidual the latter said
my friend, did you ever sec statue
smile9"
"Well, no. remarked the Critic, as ho
glanced suspiciously ut the stranger.
"Ha, ba, ha," he exclaimed in semi
tragical manner. "See him now. He is
fairly laughing
The Critic looked but failed to 'catch-on,"
and rs he started off down the moonlit
walk he turned about and remarked to She
human optical illusionist: "Pard you had
better join temperance society, or the
next thing you know you'll be seeing
shrieking snakes and horned alligators."
--:o:--
at is a fact that our party is badly
divided now," said Republican member of
Congress to the Critic to-day but in the
next National Convention harmony and
good-feeling will reign supreme"
"But will not the result of the election
in Ohio next fall have some effect upon the
National contest ?"
'Yes, think so. But l haven't the
slightest idea that our party will suffer de-
feat in that State"
"Who is the strongest man in your party
for the Gubernatorial nomination in Ohio?"
John Sherman can sweep the deck
Judge Lawrence will make good fight,and
l honestly believe that r. B. Hayes can
carry the State against almost any man the
Democrats can nominate"
The Evening critic., 1883-05-02
SPECIAL N0TlceS.

N.Y. -BRorHERHooD OF CARPENTERS
"A fnll attendance Is requested on FRIDAY
EVhNING. May The 9TH. Business OF Import
ance before the Brotherhood.
BY order w. A. WARD,
my22t Secretary.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-02
FRANK SHARPLESS'

PHILADELPHIA CANDY FACTORY,
4l9 SEVENTH ST., under Odd-Felows Hall,
has the finest and largest assortment OF the purest
pound. "a
The Evening critic., 1883-05-02

AFTER over century of expe rience
Uncle Sam has at last hit upon a policy
in dealing with Mr.. Lo that reduces the
probability of war with him and his to the
very lowest minimum. He Surrounds"
any given tribe, gathers them on TO reser-
vation, registers each one by name and
issues to him or her brass medal which
shows who its wearer is and to what reser-
walton and tribc said wearer may belong.
The presentation of that medal insures the
possessor clothing and rations, which are
drawn at the proper agency. If the medal
should be lost while its owner is off his
proper reservation, he is liable to be treated
as hostile on the war-path, and also is
liable to starve TO death.
The completion of the Pacific Railway
insured the downfall of Indian power in
the United States. That road opened up
the buffalo country to the white hunter,
who slaughtered these animals by the
hundred thousand for their hides, and his
murderous fusilade in few years swept
the Indian country clean of bufialoes, leav-
ing the Indian liable to starvation. His
means of subsistence being destroyed, the
Indian was compelled to listen to the
dulcet tones of his Uncle Sam, and made
him willing to treat for peace, more
especially when tho treaties were sealed
with big dinner-kettles full of cooking
rations. Then the surround came into
vogue; and now every tribe in the country
is corraled on its own reservation. The
Apaches, who are making disturbance
along the Mexican line, are band who
have broken from their reservation, and
have thus become outlawed with Indians
and white men both. Most of the indians
are so well-convinced of the benefits of the
new system that hundreds of them are
ready to volunteer to &C on the war-path
against the mutinous Apaches, and they
will soon have to surrender, or be wiped
from the top of the earth.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-02

rJ,HE DEMAND FOR JERSEY JACKETS
Il still continues. We offer the best value In
the market in these goods. III the leading colors
and best sizes from s2.25 up. Now in stock at
DAVIS
The Evening critic., 1883-05-02
7lo Market Space, Cor. Eighth st.

OUR STOCK is ALWAYS COMPLETE IN
W every department. Our Styles are always
correct. Our Prices always the Lowest.
DAVIS,
The Evening critic., 1883-05-02

THE idiotic New York Herald is pleased
at nothing the defendants in the Star
Route case or their attorneys can do. The
offer to submit the case without argument
was game of "bluff," according to this de-
lectable authority, and then it adds: "Hav-
ing failed to cut off argument entirely
their policy now will doubtless be to talk
as long as possible" OF course if the de-
fense must argue at all it will be done most
thoroughly, let it take ever SO long. And
they hayo nothing to fear from argument.
Their attorneys are far superior
to those for the Government and
the facts are overwhelmingly in their favor.
This is SO apparent that they were will
ing from the outset to leave the whole
matter to the court and jury. But that
would have interfered with tho Department.
Of in-Justice's raid upon the Treasury, and
SO the prosecution coolly decline and go
on talking at the rate of four hundred dol
lars day. Nothing charged against the
star-Routers equals this for downright ex
travagance if not worse than extravaganza.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-02

INIRST GRAND PICNIC OF THE ACME
~ PLEASURE Club will he given at Juennemann's
Pleasure Garden, on Wednesday, May 10. Tick
my2.Jt#
The Evening critic., 1883-05-02

The Public Is requested cdreJttuy 10 notice tbs
pe,o and enlarged Scheme 10 be drdtoa Monthly
tW-CApITAL PRIZE, &75,OOO.-m
Tickets only 80. Shares in proportion.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-02

aSxaIF YOU WOULD AVOID oHILLs AND
H~E Fevers, Ague and Fevers, Bilious FeverB
and other diseases incident to the season, take
BROWEIEG'S BITTh,RS, and you will surely es-
cape them.
BROWNING's BITTERS have been in use for
over twelve years. and no person was ever known
10 have chils or bilious feyers while using these
Bitters For sale by druggists and grocers gen.
erxlly.
BROWNING d MIDDLETON,
PRoPRIETORS AND MANUFACTURERS,
6l0 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-02
rs:xa aMERoHANT-T CLOTH.

Sao ING.
Where to obtain bargain in lrstclass Mer-
chant Taior-Made Overcoats, little worn, or q
Suit of Clothes, Odd Coats, Pants or Vests Of the
very best make and latest styles, which will last
longer and look better than shoddy ready-made,
Of which we have large stock and In all sizes at
low prices, is at j. HERZOg'S,
RpSltf 309 9th ST n. W.. near Pa ave.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-03-29
GRAND RAPIDS, WIS. THURSDAY, MARCH %, 1888.

encouraging account of the queens con-
dition. Her general health is reported
to be excellent. She is IL her 64lh year.
LADY FLORENCE Dixie, who recently
assailed the integrity of the trustees of
the land league fuads, was assaulted at
Windsor Saturday afternoon by two men
dressed in female apparel. Two dagger
thrusts penetrated her clothing. but a
steel corset rib and the guardianship of a
st. Bernard dog probably saved her life.
The lady swooned at the sight of the
immense knives. and the laSs thing she
remembers was one of the men filing her
mouth with mud. The palms of her
hands were cut across, the gloves being
severed, and her clothing was rent in
many places.
PARNELL's visit to Paris is involved in
considerable mystery, and its real object
is unknown. 1t Ia presumed that secret
conference of the Land League leaders is
contemplated, but this is only coniec. cred
Parnell spent Sunday in company with
Henri Rochefort and CIemenceau. He
has now fully decided that he will visit
America, about which he has had some
doubts on account of the importance of
his presence in Parliament. For some
reason, however, ne has concluded that
the objects which can be attained by an
other visit to the United States, and by
his presence at the Irish convention in
Philadelphia, are sufficient to warrant his
absence from England for sh.rt time.
Sexton will remain to watch Parliament.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-03-29
FIRES AND CASUALTIES

A BIRKENHEAD, Eng, employer has
discharged all the Irish in his service in
consequence of the alleged outrages COM
mitted by that nationality.
THREATS have been made that the
Kremlin at Moscow will be blown up dur
ing the cars coronation if he refuses to
grant.a constitution.
A RESIDENCE at Newport, Rhode Island.
was burned Saturday, a domestic being
consumed in the flames; property loss,
$33, 900; insurance $1,000. Fire in Brook
lyn, n. Y, caused damage 10 the amount
of $25, ,0C0.
THE ravages of smallpox among the
Indians on White Earth reservation have
been greatly exaggerated. The enforce
ment of strict quarantine against infected
bands had good effect IN staying the pes
thence.
MONDAY night, performance in a tent
known af Faranta's Summer Pavilion, at
New Orleans. panic took possession Of
the audience, consisting of about FIVE
thousand people, in consequence of the
tent canvass taking fire from a lamp,
and in the crush that ensued FIVE persons
were injured.
Mr.. r. P. FLowRR, who represe nted the
eleventh district of New York in the last
congress, has returned to the treasury OF
the United States S45s. 80, being the pro-
portion of his salary as representative that
he thinks he is not entitled 10 by reason
of absence from his seat in the house.
ALBERT GREENWALD, section hand at
the Chicago, Milwaukee & st. Paul depot
was run over by switch engine at Wau-
sau, WIS and instantly killed. A com.
rade with him was severel y Injured, The
men were engaged in switching cans
Greenwood leaves large family almost
destitute.
J. DUKsTERHoFF. of Peoria, ILL.,, while
in a skif on the lake, was caught in gale
and drowned. Three others whose names
are unknown and who hired pleasure boats
are missing. and it is feared that they are
lost.
In his last official communication to the
state department.. Mr.. Comley, of Ohio
lately United States minister to Hawaii
discusses the prospects of the natives o.
the Sandwich Islands, and gives figures tC
prove that the Kanaka population is di
minishirg ct the rate of L per cent. pei
annum, while the royal family bids fair tc
become extinct with the next generation
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-03-29
ening to blow the Rev. Slattery's church

ening to blow the Rev. Slattery's church
up with dynamite.
TIE capital punishment bill recently
passed by the Maine legislature failed to
specify mode of execution, and is there
fore imperative.
The legislature of Tennessee has passed
a law requiring that executions hereafter
be condusted in private.
By order of the secretary of the navy,
the eight-hour labor Irule will be put in
force in the several navy-yards.
THE president has ordered the suspen-
sion of Judge Everton j. Conger, associate
Justice of the territory of Montafa, against
whom charges of drunkenness aud gam
bling have been preferred.
TIE decision of The secretary of the
interior In the back bone" land grant
case. Saturday, gives the New Orleans
Pacific railroad company about l, SAC, ,000
acres of land in Louisians.
CLARENCE HITE, one of the Missouri
outlaws, pardoned on account of ill-health
by Governor Crittenden, died at his home
in Logan county, KY, last Monday.
NEGOTIATIONS have been concluded for
the production of the Passion Play" at
Louisville, KY, by Mr. Salmi Morse,
whose GSSlIS lC I6CldlA tUC people OF new
York by means of the so-called sacred
drama has been repressed by the authori-
ties of that city.
A COMMITTEE Of the Pennsylvania house
of representatives has been instructed to
inquire and report whether the absence
during the whole of The present session of
Representative Dukes, the murderer
of Captain Mutt, is due TO disability or
vice.
A STRIKE of union cigar-makers of
Chicago and Milwaukee is threatened.
The controversy with the employers in
the latter place dates back to l 374, when
in consequence of an increase of the tax
upon cigars, the wages of the workmen
were reduced. Now that the tax upon
cigars has been reduced, the union de-
mands that the wages be corresp pondingly
increased.
POLK City. Iowa. contributed $4,000
toward the construction of the narrow
guage railroad from Des Moines to Ames,
conditioned upon Polk City being made a
station, which condition was complied
with until the road passed into the hands
of the Chicago and Northwestern Railway
company, when he guage was ordered to
the standard, and, IN order to avoid the
heavy grade approaching Polk City,
cutoff wss constructed, which leaves the
city two miles from the railroad Suit is
about to be begun 10 compel the North
western company to fulfill the agreement
made by the narrow guage company.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-03-29
Railroad News.

The committee of stockholders to
nominate q ticket for directors of the
Pennsylvania railroad, to be voted for
at the annual meeting next week, Sc
lected the present members of the
board.
The railroad Gazette reports total
of 68 miles of new railroad, making 500
miles thus far reported for 1883, against
S23 miles reported at the correspond
ing time last year, 427 miles in 1882,
733 miles in 1881 and 204 miles in the
year 1880.
The Northern Pacific Railroad Com
pany has purchased 400 acres of land
in two tracts, one in and the other near
st. Paul. Upon the tract in that city
will be erected union depot, and at
the other stock yards, and slaughter
ing and packing houses will be estab-
lished. Other improvements are also
planned by the company.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-03-29
FOREIGN

JOHN WALSH, arrested at Haver as an
Irish conspirator, has been released by
the French government.
THE death is ann,unced of the Right
Honorable Sir George Jessel, Master Of
the Rolls.
TaE report that threats were m 2de to
blow up the Deanery OF Canterbury Is
unfounded
COUNT De CHAMBoRD answered an ad-
dress from Lyons workingmen by sta ting
that the republic was leading France to
ruin.
QUEEN EICroaIA slipped on the palace
stairs at Windsor, Saturday, and was
slightly injured.
THE resignation of Won Stosch, Ger
man minister at Marine, hss been ac-
cepied by the emperor.
PARNELL, who spent Sunday in Paris
with Clem enceau and Henri R0chetort,
will come 10 America, while Sexton win
watch parliament.
TH2EE thousand weavers in the Hud-
dersGeld, Eng district are on a strike,
owing TO dissgreements with employers
respecting wagas.
GEN. HALDEMAN, United States minis
Ter 10 1AhSAF ~ w OhS Va tAC dI
bitrators to adjust the differences between
China and Japan regarding Loochoo.
A BAND of Arabs attacked four Otto
man battallions, near Yemen. The Turks
lost four officers and a number of soldiers,
killed and wounded. The Arabs were
repulsed.
By the sinking of az oyster boat near
Baltimore, five of the seven men compos-
ing her crew perished, one of them being
frozen to dealt while lashed in the rig
ging,
A LARGE employer at Birkenhead, Ea-
gland, has discharged all of his workmen
who are 1rishmen, saying he would be
dis9r4cing himself by employing people
who foster assassins.
/, QUKBN V croRIAs fall on the stairs was
more serious than at first supposed. She
suffered an injury of the knee, as she per
sis ed in aite; ding to her ordinary duties
swelling and information set in, causing
her Considerable pain. A report gained
currency in London Sunday that she uai
in precarious condition, but bulletins
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-03-29
CRIME

There were two murders in the Italian
quarter at New York, Tuesday, one of
them occurring at christening.
Four Americans have been arrested at
Panama on suspicion of having been con-
nec.ed with the robbery of $50, 600 in gold
from the vault of the Panama railroad
company.
THE trial of JShn F. Burrell, indicted
for embezzling some $1,000 of the funds
of the Grand Lodge of Masons of H., is
in progress at Carlinville. EN- inent
counsel prosecute and defend.
Two men named Coomes and Smith,
residing eleven miles northeast of Helena,
Montana, suspected of arson, were huRg
by mob Wednesday n ght.
ALDERMAN HOWARD, of East Saginaw,
Michigan, is under arrest, charged by his
business partner with having set fire to
the latter's residence in order to destroy
evidences of discrepancies il his accounts.
JAMES SA AvAGE, who killed two men in
Montague county, Texas, on Saturday,
one for attempting to arrest him some
time ago, and the other for attempting to
avenge the Staying of the first, is out on
$4,000 bail.
AUGUST BUR KLBY, organi6t of the Holy
Cross Church, at Cincinnati. while enter
ng the building for Lenten services, was
shot in the head by a lunatic named
Weller. Burkley will probably recover.
INDIAN AGENT TOWNSEND, who has
lately passed through the Creek reserva-
tion on the way to his post, reports that
a state of eemplete anarchy prevails there
on account of the animosity existing be-
tween the two factions of the tribe, work
being neglected for marauriding, and that
the entire population are badly demoral-
lied. Agent Townsend urges the neces-
sity of government Intervention to restore
order.
LAST Friday night the barn and eight
head of horses. three cows, the hay, grain,
ETC., of Fl, G. McNally, twelve miles from
Helena. Montana, were burned. A vigi-
lance committe traced the crime, it is
claimed, to two men named Coomes and
Smith, They were hanged by the COM
mittee Tuesday night and their bodies
have been brought to Helena. Coomes
was an old Alder Gulch miner and at the
time of his death kept the Eleven Mile
house. Smith was discharged railroad
hand.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-03-29

prove the navigation of Bace and White
rivers and their tributaries and Long lake
snd Pike lake for log driving purposes.
and to drive. boom and handle logs there
on.
Asssmbly-The bill to require railroad
corporations to employ only such persons
as are not disqualified for their positions
by reason of color-b blindness or other de-
fectjve sight, was killed.
Assemble bills passed: To authorize
Lincoln county to furd lis Indebtedness: /:
to amend the charter of Milwaukee; to
to provide for the tx animation of the as
slgnor and others in case of voluntary as
sigument.
The senate dill authorizing the attor-
ney general to satisfy and discharge the
judgment against Simeon Mills, upon his
paying the principal thereof-S10 COO
was refused concurrence; ayes 40, noes Al.
The assembly bill for marking prison
mabe goods. was. after preliminary dis
oussion, referred to committee on state
affairs. The woman suffrage amendment
was killed by aqote of SO to &c.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-03-29

THE Boston Herald says of the new
tariff: "The reductions of duty are
largely on articles not now imported,
while the duties are increased on many
kinds of goods. As a revenue reform
measure the new tariff is sham. In
the internal revenue reduction there
are some good features, but there was
no call for the change in the tax on
tobacco. That was tub thrown to the
political whale. The whole bill is a
makeshift, and the idea that it will do
anything to help business is absurd. 1t
is not foreign competition, but home
competition, which affects business,
and will settle its relations. Ultimate
iy, IN this country of great resources.
articles of merchandise will be made
where they can be made to the best
advantage, and this resul. will only be
fastened by the artificial stimulation
of the protective tariff. What we neeo
Is cheap crude materials and chear
cost of living, in order that We may
compete With the rest Of the world
and SO extend the area of our trade
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-03-29
The New York Music and Dram

The New York Music and Dram q
says: "I hear of the serious embar-
rassment OF one of the biggest and bold
est speoulators in the street. He has
mortgaged his property, sold his wife's
diamonds, and his Office rent is unpaid.
1t looks as if the prophecy regarding
him on his advent here from California
some years ago may come true. twas
pronounced by one of his old San Fran
cisco rivals, and was to the effect that
Jim will some day find it hard work
walking over the Central Pacific ties
they are too far apart for his stride. "
Ghe individual meant is James r.
Keene, who recently placed $75, 600
mortgage On his Newport property.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-03-29

BRADY is perfectly cool and deliber-
ate on the witness stand. A man who
could conceive ard execute the mag
nificent star-route swindle, who has
coolly aud deliberately pocketed thou
sands of dollars for the service of send
ing an occasional postal card to some
cluster of cabins in the mountains OF
Montana, is not likely to be ratified
by such legal guns as Bliss, Merrick
and Kerr. They will not make much
out of Brady.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-03-29
Glass Broken by the Sun.
From the Troy Times, March 6.


Lewis W. Land, who was awar, ID
the contract for the carpenter work on
the Schuylerville monument, COM
pleted, as he supposed, his labors.
When inspected by the architects it
was discovered that several plate
glasses, five by eight feet, were broken.
Mr.. Land, with the architect. investi-
gated the cause yesterday, which was
fully explained by finding the window
on the north, out of the suns rays, un-
harmed. The shaft is not heated, and
with the extreme cold an uneven ex-
pansion was caused by the action of the
sun, which shattered the heavy glass.
The contractor is of the opinion that
mica or some other substance will have
to be substituted.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-03-29
The New England Operative,
a L IT 7

Corporations, now as ever, are some
times grasping, tenement and board
ing houses are often bad, and other
conditions are not always what they
should be. But all are better than they
were ten years ago, and there is no re-
spect in which the general condition
of the New England operative is not
improved. Wages are higher, their
relative purchasing power has not de-
creased, while houses are better, and
all the conditions of comfort, cleanli-
ness and good morals, have in the ag-
gregate greatly increased.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-03-29

A FARMER of Sandy Creek, Oswe go
county, n. Y, found q single spear OF
cats growing Ia one of his fl elds few
years ago. 1t looked very thrifty, and
Mr. Remington let it grow and saved
the seed in the fall. The seeds were
large and plump, and different from
the oats raised in that vicinity. He
planted the seed the year following,
and kept on increasing until last fall,
when he harvested five hundred bush
Els. The oats weigh forty pounds to
the hnsh6l
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-03-29
GENERAL NOTES.

A. w. Spoer has hegun suit against the
New York Central S'eepirg Car company
tt recover SCI .000 for alleged breach of
contract.
The Liquor Committee of the Mesa
chusetts Legislature will report amending
the constitution hy prohibiting the man
ufac.ure and So I, of intoxcants in the
state.
LUTHER S. LATHRoP, Of he firm of
Meyer & Lathrop. New York, dropped
dead on the street on Wednesday night.
E9vaD GooDRoDY, of New York was