Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-02-17
THE ODD-L0OKING NAN.

Ueateu az the tdco a ftoe OF Z lashiODable hotel in
Venice. I'VE. means my father mother. sister
and self. The two former are long since de-
parted this life. Ny sister, a young lady tayel.
ing Tor educational purposes or. as old John
Dickens would have SAID to consolidate her
modern languages and music Is now wife
ana Mother rad Just finished my terms at
{ Uxiord; and as we all fancied We should
benefit by change of air and scene. We set
out for twelyemonth's Continental tour In
due season we reached Venice where / over
heard the remark which suggested the heading
OF the present article. Our vis-a-vis was an
: English clergyman. with his family. whom we
then net for The first time on our travels The
eldest daughter. CHANGING stealthily at her oppo-
posite neshbor and with difficulty REFRESHING
smile. whispered audby enough in her
fathers ear: WHAT O strengthening youuo
man that is faeingus. Hereupon Paterfamilias
putting MS fuizZing glass to his eye and staring
deliberately at the object of the remark, ex-
claimed emphat,esty; lie is indeed an odd
looking fellow
The victim of these unfattering observations
was myself, have always been what cockney
would call "a rum an to look at Perhaps no
either definition would suit me as well. am
not. strictly Speaking. THE Ugly Man
neither am The Lean Man. The Fat Man.
1.-The Short Man. or THE Tall Man" NV
features. individually. are neither plain nor I'M
Progressing Yet the csis,li.bj,-ah, there is
Ine rue. There Is a screw loose sOmewhere
F1euratveiy. the shoe pinches. But had nv
misiGEtuGes been confined to a general pecu-
ba!'ty OF appearance | should certainly have
keI my OWN counsel. and. so to speak con-
snied my own smoke with the pipe of philos-
Opher- But il was far more than this Heredi-
tary predispnstiOn had bequeathed to me a
threefoid !d;0sYncTasy. Speech. person and ner-
vous organization were alike out of tune. The
early consciousness of these failin@s rendered
me. from childhood. shy and sensitive to a de-
gree which mere healthily constituted persons
could scarcely even imagine: as grew to boy
hood and youth these feelings became more in
tensifed. and when had reached nv eirh-
teenth year. ! was literally unable to freonent
places OF rutiC resort and amusement or even
to enjoy GUipt daily walk. without undergo
ing positive torture My friends failed not to
misjndse me. and attributed to me- most I'M
Justly. q rluT0se AID MisanthrOpcal disposition
was thus by sort of fatality. deprived of the
natural syDpa'heS and counsel Of those who
were Nearest and dearest to me. In due season
my school days. which had been hourly torture
TO me. whether in classroom or play ground.
came to an end lmpelled by natural ambition.
and complying with the wishes of nv parents.
/ boldly resolved to risk the ordeal of a
university life. with faint hope-IIeaven save
the mark.-of eventually embracing the clerical
profession 50 entered my name at a college,
and In due time presented myself for matricu-
htion- Alas. my 0ntCa;r prOpYe was destined
at the outset. tn be- rudely shaken. CHANGING to
encounter beneath the gateway of my college
amerry group of my tellow-gownsmen one of
them. cycling me askance. audiblv expressed q
hope that 'tlat odd-IoOkne fellow didn't in
Tend TO come there" This was no fiatterinp
Welcome. on the part of Alma Mater, to one so
sensitive and self-consciOus as myself.
But worse still was to follow. While under
going the preliminary examination i'm the col
Iege hali-Of which. In point OF scholarship |
had little dread-One of my fellow freshmen re-
marked to his neighbOr: Good Heavens, did
you ever such q phiZ,-'- This pIunped the
iron more deeply still into rny sore and stricken
soul 1t capped the climax. as it were. Within
less than week ! was forced to leave nv col
lege. and renounce all the fond and vain homes
which my friends and myself had built on NV
university career.
i now became desperate and threw myself
INTO various forms of solitary and unsocia dissi-
patton Having inherited from distant rela-
tive a small legacy to enable me to follow some
liberal Career. | squandered away the whole
capital. on attaining my majority. with insane
recklessness Having thus reduced myself to
the condition of the penniless prodigal / CRATE
fully accepted the offer of accompanying my
family abroad.
Byron tells Us that foreign travel is the
strongest mental stimulus next to ambition
notwithstanding my repeated failures and dis
appointments now clung to this last forlOrn
nope OF riidin" myself. by a strong effort,
seconded BY the influence of novel and striking
scenes. of the incubus of self-cOnscOusness
lendeayered to cOunteract my personal def
eiences by adopting various modes of dress,
which faHcied most suitable for the purpose
IegardleSs of fashion or expense so long as I
still had the family purse to resort to- studied
my imperfect enunciation for hours together in
my ROOM and before my glass fancying myself
comedian preparing Tor his Debut
or an NJ. =. rehearsing his maiden
speech. To combat my shyness / con-
suited an experienced medical practitioner to
whom fully described my abnormal symptoms
and who recommended me TO try cOlOred spec
tacles. For what added to my confusion was
the fact that whenever people CHANGED to look
ct me, the nervous twitching and scared ex-
preston OF my eye naturally attracted their at
tentiOn aud caused them to stare the harder
But it was ali tn no purpose my fatality still
chung to ne wherever | went. My voice indeed
grew stronger and more emphatic under the
severe training Of my DemOsthenic exercises
But Its Inherent defects became propOrtiOnay
more marked and offensive. My green or blue
goggles-for tried every variety and shade of
colOr-Oniy served to metamorphose my queer
looking phiZ into an exquisite model for carni-
val mask.
To give one illustration among a hundred
One summers evening we were all standing on
the terrace of the far-famed Right above the
Lake OF Lucerne. watching the sunset. For a
single half hour of rapture the combined influ-
ences OF the glorious panorama completely alb
eor6ed the sense OF my painful subjectivity
Al! "cOuid / but have kept nv spirit to that
hight" But my demon was at my elbow Not
long after l happened to be walking up and
down the row deserted Plateau with my sister
expatiating on the beauties of the surrounding
landscape. Suddenly we were Overtaken by two
young Englishmen, tourists like ourselves whom
We mad not hitherto taken notice Of AS they
passed BY one OF them exclaimed to his COM
panion In sort of stage-whisper: 'By Jovel
now we have seen something worth looking at
For the life Of me couldn't keep my ewes off
tnat odd-lookng fellows face all the time we
were supposed to be watching the sunset.' In
single moment all the sweet and loving influ-
ences OF that divine vision faded out of my
mind. can suggest no better comparison than
that Of a man suddenly walked out OF a dream
OF paradise by the scathing scof Of Mephist0-
pheles. Again felt myself under the ban of
my feliow-ereatures. Again doubted of hea-
ven and humanity!
Reader! pity and pardon me! for invent
nothing. but am telling plain unvarnshed
tale-'an DER true story"
On our return TO England had to mourn the
loss of an afectionate mother who died almost
heart-broken at the failure of all the hopes she
had built on her frst-born. and, as was gener-
ally supposed. her favorlte child. HencefOrward