The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1883-11-22
The Deacon's Grab-Bau.

''W hat about the fuss at the social
at the deacon's night before last?"
asked the grocer. a"I heard the
whole church was mad at each 9th
er over a grab-bag, and the presiding
elder had all he could do to quiet
things down.
''That don't amount to much,
replied the boy. "There's always
something turns up when the social
season first starts in. You see, ma
was appointed committee to fix
up a b-bag. Me and my chum
were digging bait this morning to go
a fishing. When 1 came in l
found ma had finished the grab bag,
and had it all loaded, with the top
fastened with a puckering string, and
hung it on chair Ma was up
stairs getting her Sunday clothes
on, t. 90 to the social, so it didn't
take me and my chum long to get
first choice. Then ] got our trap
and took it to the barn, and caught
two nice big fat mice and put 'em
in a collar box with hole cut in it
to give 'em air, and then my chun
remembered a big swapping turtle he
had in the swill barrel, and we got
that and wiped it as dry as we
could, and tied it all up but its
head, and put it in just as the dea-
cons hired man came to Ia Ike the
bag over to the sociable. Me and
my chum went down to his house
and waited till the people got over
to the sociable, and then we went
over and got up in tree, where we
could see through an open window
and hear all that was going on.
Pa, he stood over the grab bag and
shouted: Ten cents a grab; don't
let anybody be backward in good
cause Three or four had put up
their ten cents and made a grab,
when AN old maid from Oshkosh,
who had been to the springs for
Mysteries, got in her work on the
collar box. When she got the
cover off, one of them mice that
knew his business jumped on her
shoulder and crawled down her neck,
andthe other one jumped on the floor
and started around to meet the
other one. You'd a dide to seen
her flop and show her stockings and
scream. The deacon's folks
thought it was another attack of
Mysteries and pa and the deacon
got her on the sofa and held her
while they poured paregoric and
cayenne pepper down her. When
she got loose she sreamed all the
harder. Then one of the other wo
men seen the mouse and got up in
a chair standing and shook her
skirts and asked the new young
minister to help her catch the
mouse. The poor fellow looked as
though he would like to but failed.
Just then the bottom of chair broke
aud let her fall over on ma an
tore her bangs all down. Ma cali
ed her a hateful thing and told
her she ought to be ashamed of her
self. Finally they got things in or
der, but no one wanted to tackle
the grab-bag end as here the profits
come in, pa braced up and said he'd
like toknnw why every body acted so
'spicious, he d like to see a grabbing
that would give him the mysteries,
and said women are always getting
scared at nothing He then put
down ten cents and damned his
hand away down in the bottom of
the bag, but he didn't keep it in
there long. He gave a jump anil
yanked his hand out, yelling ,thun
der. Then he swung it over his
head and brought it down on the
deacon's head and smashed his
specs. Then he swung it the other
way and struck the woman presi
dent of the sewing society in the
stomach and knocked her down in
the dsacon's lap. After pa had
hollered himself hoarse and thump-
ed half the people in the room the