Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-05-31
Mr.. I'VE on Current Topics.

Mr.. Edgar Nye, more widely and
Familiarity known as ''Bill Nye." of the
Laramie Boomerang, is spending the
week with relatives in Englewood. A
representative of tho Inter Ocean paid a
visit to Mr.. Nye last evening, and found
him engaged in a game of whist with
his cousins.
Il should like to interview you, Mr..
Nye,' said the reporter.
The funny man of the Boomerang
pulled his long blonde mustache gently
and tenderly, curled one of its ends up
around his nose, and remarked, with a
quiet CLEAN in his hazel eye: I'm
sorry 1 didn't know you were coming.
/ should have had luy teeth filed, and
would have written you out an inter
view. questions and all correct
What is your opinion OF interview
ing?'
THAT depends upon the interviewed.
! like and respect newspaper men. l
am newspaper man myself. Joseph
Cook says we ought to be hung and
Freddie Gebhardt says we are scala
wags' Now think Joe and Freddie
are great horrid things, do
Again that characteristic twirl of the
mustache, as the interviewer asked:
'.How do you like Chicago??''
yes"
"How long have YOU been here?"
"a week l came visiting for my
health. l fell ill in February. The
boomerang went back on me, kicked,
recoiled you might say. The Laramie
doctors are peculiar set. One of them
doctorcd me for malaria, and another
for intlammatory rheumatism; then
they shipped what was left of me to
Greeley, Col, and they have sent the
rest of me on here. But I'm getting
better, and after Northern trip shall
90 home.'
"Who is running the boomerang In
your absencc?"
80, its running
Seriously, who is taking your
work?''
Nobody is taking it very seriously,
hut it is a good deal more serious than
when | was there"
"Who is your candidate for the Pres
idcncy?'
"Well, if you won't give it away. l
will tell you. ] should like to see Lydia
Pinkham at the head of the Govern
ment.'
Lydia Pinkham?
Yes, Lydia, the same. She and l
used to be engaged, but / broke it off
because she was such Il giddy young
thing. Still, l feel that she lost good
deal in losing me, and | should like to
see her have something to make up
for it,
"What is the rest of your slate9"
You may make that out. Pm only
particular about LYDIA
cit is rumored that you thought of
running yourself?'
81 did, but | was only fooling.n
"What is your opinion of Mrs. Lang
try?"
"She died easy
"How do you regard Carter Harri-
son?n
Garter doesn't know me. He
hain't had the pleasure of meeting me,
and won't commit myself just yet
"How do you class the dude?''
IL don't class him. just call him
'dudy,' with two syllables, and let him
60. Call him pet names; call him.
dudy''
"What do you think of the Cars
coronation?"
"rd rather he should be coroner
ated than /. Now, my friend, feel n
stupid interval coming on. Remember
! am an invalid, and 90 easy with your
questions. l know the trying situation
in which you are placed. There is my
cousin and his wife gazing at you as if
you were an escaped curiosity. ] know
how it is myself. The general public
looks on newspaper folks as peculiar
specimens. l have had people before
now look at me as if they wondered how
got away. 1t is painful, shudderins
curiosity, similar to that with which
smallpox doctor is generally regarded.
Don't stare at my bald head. 1t won't
do you any good to ask me where 1 lost
my hair, for | won't tell you, and /
won't tell you, either, what is making
it grow in again. You don't take me
for apatent-medicine advertisement, |
hopc?''
''No. Is it true that Wyoming wom-
en- Ike to vote?n
''Yes, but that's got nothing to do
with the condition of my cranium.''
"How do they generally vote:?"
''In ballOt-bOXes."
mo. but which party?'
depends on whether the party is
sweetheart or husband. They often
vote against the latter party if he
doesn't go all right on temperance
questions. There used to be woman
Justice of the Peace out there, and she
fined her husband for getting drunk
Women are eligible as jurymen in Wy
oming. They ride to election in car
riages, and seem to enjoy it,
"What sort of weather do you have
in Laramie?'
lit SHOWS pretty muchly. Electric
blue is my favorite color. 1 don't know
how old l am. Transatlantic travel is
looking up. / haven't seen the Bar
tholdi statue. Oscar Wilde is an easy
man to interview. If he hasn't any
thing more to say he looks over your
head and doesn't say anything. l in
terviewed Oscar
would you intimate, sir, that you
have no more to say? l wished to ask
your opinion of the Presidential success
sion if anything had happened in con-
sequence of the shrimp salad Mr..
Arthur took at Savannah the other
day.
Took? He didn't take it." A slow
smile overspread the face of Bill Nye
His kindly eyes CLEANED. He pulled
his mustache ends up around the corner
of his nose. HE didn't take the salad.
He only borrowed it. Going? Don't
hurry. Stay and beat me at whist.
You can do it easy enough. Anybody
can. Goodbye; sorry to have seen you