Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-08-09
On the Management of Children.

OF all the disastrous policies which
thoughtless parents adop, for the govern
ment or training Of children, scarcely one is
more prolific Of evil than that of harping
perpetually upon chlld's shortcomings or
defects. Sometimes it is physical peculiar
ity-red hair, squint-eye, pug nose, some
uncommon development Of feature or form
that receives comment. This, as it is gen
orally only jocular, good -natured badger
ing, is not extremely serious. though evil
sometimes results, as a morbid self-con-
sclousness is likely to be developed. both
painful and injurious TO the child. Ere
quently the fruit is excessive shyness or
awkwardness, difficult to overcome after the
primary cause may have been outgrown.
But when it is some mental trait that is
made the never ending topic Of remark,
with gloomy or sarcastic Representations of
the future thai Is TO result, most evil results
accrue. IL It is true, as a noted novelist has
told us, that I'VE are apt to believe what the
world believes about u.s. il is still more a
truth as regards children, who are scarcely
capable of decidiHg for themselves any knot
" points, whose thoughts are more or less
confused at the best, who naturally turn to
parents and guardians rather than to the
voice Of conscience for the right or wrong
OF anything, and whose most intimate asso-
ciates stand to them for the world. A pol
icy Of this kind cannot but prove dulling to
the sensibilIues and hardening to the heart
Many parent who has harped upon his
chld's shortcomings till he has hammered
that chlld's heart TO stone. wonders that
his child persists in the even tenor Of his
way, paying no more attention to remon-
STRANGE than TO the voice of the wind Ii
would be thing to wonder at more, if he
did otherwise
That which is berated may be a real
fault-indolence, untruthfulness, lack of
order, and the like or it may be simply
that the fault is in the parents eye-that
the child Is not to the parents mind. The
child may exceed in physical energy,
when the parent would have more intel
lectual strength or he may be .tudous
and dreamy. when the parent desires him to
be matter-of fact. The harping and hammer
ing 20 on, day after day, in season and out
of season, till the child comes to look upon
home as a place Of torment rather than
refuge, and upon the parent as an avenginp
Nemesis rather than being to reverence
and love. If the victim is boy, he is quite
macy, oitci CERTAIN uktt 10 Keep OUT OI tnt
way as much as he can, if he does not quit
the premises altogether, which project is
meditated by nine out of every ten boys so
situated. Happy for both parent and
child, If the latter seek not at a saloon"
or some other equally demoralizing
resort, that freedom which he misses in
the home. There is ofttimes something ex-
ceedingiy pathetic about these much -berated
little ones. Listless and dspirited too often
sullen as well as sad, all childish sparkle
and spontaneity lost, they go about with
dropping heads and downcast eyes as if in
gloomy meditation on the everexpected
storm.
Doubtless with most parents the practice
of excessive chiding is begun with the hon
est purpose of amending some fault, but con-
tinued from force of habit, or often from ir-
ritation Of mind, induced by the child's fail
ing to heed and be healed. The fact is that
children so dealt with seldom do heed. Gen
tie. steady irmness NAV indeed take more
patience, energy and time than stream of
reproofs, hut let the parent be assured that
if the former does not cure, the latter never
will