Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1883-06-16
FOR THE GIRLS.
A Piece of Advice from Their
Friend Josh Billings.

l. The man who is jealons of every
little attenshun which you get from
some other fellow, yu will find, after
yu are married tew him, he luvs him
self more than he duz yu, and what yu
mistook for solissitude, yu will discover
has changed into indifference. Jeal-
lousy isn't harte disease, it is a liver
complaint.
2. A mustach IL not indispensable;
it IL only little more hair, and is
deal like moss ard other excressences-
often duz the best on sile that wont
raise anything else. Don't forget those
things which yu admire in a fellow
before marriage, yu will probably have
to admire in husband after; and a
mustache will be a very weak diet
after long time.
3. If husbands could be took on trial
as Irish cooks are, ten.thirds ov them
would probably be returned; but there
don't seem to be emmy law for this.
Therefore, girls, yu will see that after
yu git a man you have got to keep
HIM. Consequently, if yu have got
any cold victuals in the house, try him
on them, once in while during scour.
ing season, and if he swollers them well
and SEE he will take some more, he is
a man who when blue Monday Gums
will wash well.
4. Don't marry Teller who is always
tellin' how his mother duz things. 1t
is az hard tew suit these men as it is
to wean a young man.
5, If a young man kan beat you
playing on the pianer, and kant hear a
fish horn playing in the street without
back sumorset on account of the
music that is in him, | say ship
him; he might answer to tend the babe
but if yu put him to hoeing out the
garden va will find that yu will have
to do ityourself. A man whose heft
lies in music (and not very hefty at
that amt no better for husband
than seidlitz pewter, but if he luvs to
listen while yu sing sum gentle ballad
yu will find him meller and soft. But
don't marry anybody for jist one virture
any quicker than you would Aay a man
for jist one fault.
6. 1t is one of the most tufiest things
for female to be an old made success.
fully. A great many has tried it and
made bad job of it. Everybody
seems to look on old mades jist as they
do on dried herbs-in the garnet handy
for sickness-and therefore, girls, il
amt a mistake that yu should be. will
ing to swop yourself off, with some
true fellow for true husband. The
swop is good one, but don't swop fol
emmy man who IL respectable jisL be.
cause his father IL. Yu had better be
an old made for four-thousand years
and then jine the Shakers, than teN
buy repentance at this price. No wo
man ever made this trade who didn'
get either fool or a mean cuss for q
husband.
Z. In digging down into this subject
/ find the digging grows harder the
further | get. 1t is easier to inform
yu who not to marry, than who to, fol
there is more of them.
1 don't think you will foller my ad
vice if give it; therefore | will keeI
it, for look upon advice az / do upoI
caster ile--a mean dose to give and ;
mean dose to take But | must sa,
what | think, girls, or Spite. If yol
can find bright eyed, healthy anc
well-balhsted boy, who looks upol
poverty ez sassy ez as child looks up
OH wealth, who had rather set down OF
the curb-stone Of 4th Avinew hote
and eat ham sandwich than to 90 in
side and run in debt for his dinner an,
a tOothplck-one that is armed wit
that kind of pluck that mistakes
defeat for victory, my ADVICE is to tax
him body and solo-snare him at wust
for he is stray trout, of a breed yer
scase in our waters.
Take him ! say, and bid into hin
rs hornets bid into tree.
n L Il a