Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-08-10
BRIGHT BITS.

! EMERSON says ''all healthy things are
| sweet tempered" Remember this before
YOU propose to a pretty-taced bundle of
nerves and dyspepsia.
AT the White Mountains the girls all
| comb their hair back from the forehead.
! That is why it is called n bang-up place.
st. Louis Post Dispatch.
AND NOW the modest advertising agent
is around asking the editor to swear about
his circulation, which the editor is doing
most Of the time without being asked
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
AN ARKANSAS MAN found after he had
married a woman that she was widow
and he had helped to hang her first hus-
band. Then he felt that she had another
cause for loving him.-BOStOR Post.
LYNCHINGs are becoming so common
i'm the West that housewives are afraid to
leave their clOthes-line out over night. In
the morning they find it a mile away with
a man hanging to the end.-Iroy Times.
THE Concord Philosophers have gone to
Rocky Point to-day for clambake. Think
of the transcendentality of the hereafter
indulging in the actually of a clam! 1t
must accelerate the stream of conscious
ness.
E'GOOD MORNING, Mr.. smith; how are
you?'' mod ad ali well, thag you. Pve
fearful code id by head.'' 'It's a strange
thing about colds, isn't itW Chow do
you bead?'' ''Why, they always settle in
the weakest place."-M Merchant Traveller.
AND NOW when man is absent from
business, and goes into a barber shop on
his return, the barber wants to know he
had a good time, and was at the seashore
or in the mountains, and what he did and
how he liked it, and fifty other things be-
fore the victim can get chance to an
swer thath was simply at his home back
of HobOken shaking with chills.-Puc6.
AN OLD Vermont farmer rather took the
census man aback the other day. The
census man asked him if he was married.
''No | bean't," was the reply. "Childless,
then, suppose" going on TO make the
entry. oval, nO-not exactly" replied
the veteran. 81 have got AZ on 'em." ezra
ciousw exclaimed the interlocutor, drop
ping his pencil; 81 thought you said you
wasn't married." oval, / amt" was
the reply, ''but ulster Burlington
Free Press.
.'WHAT do you want. boy?'' 'Ma sent
me after tourists guide" "Sure your
mother sent your son, yes, and she
wants TO know the name of the best hotel
at Long Branch, and the price per day"
s'Going to the seashoreY ''No, sir. We
are going out to spend two weeks in the
country at my Uncle Williams but ma
able to tell everybody what hotel we
stopped at and how expensive III was"
Detroit Free Press
My SON, YOU may invent new electric
light. YOU may improve the telephone UNI
til it can be talked to, you may even re-
wise the tariff to satisfy both parties, you
may write dozen successful books, you
may save a sinking State, you may make
your name famous, your house great ana
your memory blessed, and then you will
not have as big a funeral as Tom Thumb,
who never did anything in his life except
to grow less in fifty years than most boys
grow in ten. And he only did that be-
cause he could not help it.-BarliRgtOR
Hdgkeye.
A BRIDAL PREsENTAIENT.-A new
sentimental song, "Alone at Last,v repre-
sents happy bride warbling to her hus-
band, and, as though a sudden tuition of
the coming, "Gou can't cook like my
mother" had flashed across her prophetic
vision, she closes thus:
- A shadow dread comes DER me
And terror fills my heart;
Though feel that you adore NE,
Yet. perchanee, we soon must part"
But then the scene is laid-or rather
the song is published-in Chicago, where
IKE papers sometimes announce three
divorces under a single marriage notice.
THE COUNTRY Is STILL SAFE.-At a re-
cent session of the Concord School of
Philosophy, one of the pupils inquired if
ssfhe consciousness of the ego was identi-
cal with the acute absorption of the actu-
ality.v and the Professor answered that
he thought it was. This is very much to
be regretted. If the consciousness OF the
ego should somehow or another get mixed