Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-03-09

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II Biddy-"Good morning, my dear"
! o. c., Esq.-"Good morning, madam
o quite enjoying yourself, madam o
Z course, you are not aware Of the fact tha
: have been up more than an hour ant
$ have not yet eaten n mouthful! Is thi
what you married me for madam TGivei
her pointed salute on the ankle Wher'
e are your domestic qualities, madam I'm
prints mark Of affection on the top O.
. her head. Where was your smile of wei
D come when you saw me getting off the
5 fence? 1 watched you, madam! Where
G was your tender female solcitude when
. you beheld me looking weakly for the
: want of little nourishment ? Where, /
repeat, is my breakfast =? Cock-adoodle-
/ do -
: Biddy (meekly)-'Have worm,
/ dear p"
Il o. G. Esq, (solemnly) 81 will"
SCENE H.
mrs; Bddy Chanticeer laws her frst egg and has
invited two or three female friends to oaokle, o. O.,
ESQ.,. being absent.l
u Mrs. Biddy-"Cut out, cut-a-a cut
cut-a-a-a-a-cut r.
Mrs. Partlett--"Qun, qua, qua, cut-a-
a-cut! !'
Mrs. Penfeather -"Cluck, oluck, qua,
qua, qua, cut, cut, cut.a-a-a-cut Is
interrupted by the sudden appearance of
o. G., Esq, who has just returned from
a stag party. .-... ..f
o. c., Esq. .,-"Cock-a-doodle do Nov
may patience be vouchsafed me to nsk Of
you, madam, what does all this mean :?
Here am returning care-worn and ex-
hausted, from the excitements and tempt
atoms of delusive world, expecting to
find repose and peace in the quiet of the
domestic nest, instead of which discover
you in the midst Of riot and dissipation.
Madam, insult not my penetration by de-
nying it-I affirm that you are having n
partyr'
Mrs Biddy (apprchensively) -"Not at
oil my dear at least, that is. my friends
were just going by, and stopped in quite
accidentally, and SO, for you sec, my dear
I've laid an egg-cut, cut, cut-a-ac-thnt
is, ut least, yes sir, we've laid an egg y
Three female neighbors simultaneous
ly-"Cut, cut, cut, cut-a-a-a-cut r.
o. c., Esq, (maiestically) -"Peacc,
hens Madam, what does all this cack-
ling folly mean?'
(Exeunt hens in indignation.)
Mrs. b. c., it has become necessary
Mt this stage Of our matrimonial career,
that should state, i'll mild, but unmis-
taxable terms, my opinions regarding the
appropriate sphere and duties of hen
hood =
First, self-devotion---lt has been the
decision of all rooster-kind for ages, and
therefore cannot be denied that the |
crowning virtue of the hen character is !
dislnterestedness A true hen should be !
patient, self-forgetful. obedient. tendcrly |
solicitous of her husbands little wants, |
delighting wholly AMI solely in the grace
full and pleasant duties that cluster round |
the domestic nest. On the contrary, ] |
find you thinking only how to crafty
your own selfish tastes and desires, i'll
stead of displaying las might naturally |
be expected) some little sense OF lonell-
ness and melancholy at your husbands
absence l return from visit of nearly
II hours, and find you literally rejoicing !
Madam, | ask you, Is this true henhood
"Second-A retiring position. "A deli
cate shrinking from contact with the
coarse and unsympathizing world, an ex-
elusive indifference to all without the sa-
cred circle of the domestic nest On the
contrary, | find you gadding among the
other hens of the yard, making appoint
ments, sending invitations Again, ask
of you madam, is this true henhood?
TeeuOul cuTlOsllN, IL
true hen never evinces the slightest inter-
est In the affairs of her neighbors, scarce
ly III her own she never inquiries con-
cerning the whereabouts or actions of her
husband, being perfectly assured that,
wherever he be- and however appearances
at times may tell against him, he is ever
acting with view to the welfare OF the
domestic nest.
On the contrary, what do I find to be
the truth in regard to yourself ? Not a
rooster raises his voice within half mile
of the yard but you are able to name
him not hen lays an egg but you be-
gin to cackle."
Mrs. Biddy, (meekly)-'I've laid an
egg cut, cut, cut-a-a-a. No, l mean,
SIR, we've laid an egg
o. c., Esq, with solemn animation)--
you've laid IN egg And pray, where
Ii the thing?" Walks briskly to the nest
and takes n microscopic view of the OBJ
ject.
Biddy-"Cut, cut, 1 mean will it do
sir?"
o. c., Esq, "Humph h-well, yes; very
fair, considering though now | look
more closely, perceive that il is not pre-
cisely shaped too short, madam, too
short. madam, too short not well finish
ed oil by any means. And what do you
mean, madam, by having the thing so
much larger at one end than the other
Where, l ask, is your idea of symmetry =?
POUNDS Madam, if this is the best you
can do in that department. l shall lay the
next myself"
Mrs. Biddy-(with her claw in her eye)
PLEASE, ] couldn't help it. ! didn't
mean to-"
O. c., Esq, (mollifed) )-"Wcll, we'll,
don 'tfret your gzzard. You've no chicken
madam, to be so sensitive about II trihe
only remember my advice in future, and,
above all, recollect that the browning vir
the of henhood is disinterestetlness.
Mrs. Biddy, (meekly)-"Havc a worm,
dear ?"
o. c., Esq, (solemnly)-T will"
SCENE III.
Mrs. Biddy C., has been setting Tor three weeks.
" e. ESQ, appears In the dstauee, parting with one
voice fall family on Mrs Blddy's earl !
o. c., Esq.-."And now, sweetest of
hens, farewell, and may all the stars of
heaven, and all the saints of the barn {
yard, meet to register the day when your
smile first dawned upon my weary life,
and made me the happiest Of ROSTERS,
Farewell"
o. G. winds his homeward way "Good ,
evening, Jack monstrous fine hen, that. ,
just been parting from her. Or may be [
you did not notice her fine points. Quite i
fond Of me, too, ] assure you. Still in |
tears, you will observe-ahem Oock-a-
doodle-do -
TO- c, reaches the domestic iest.l
, Mrs. Biddy feebly)-"Oh, I'm 80 glad ,
to have somebody to speak to. l haven't
stepped of the nest or seen creature :