Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-09-19
THE ART OF WAR.
Some Remarkable Military Sugges.
tons Made to Jeff Davis by John
PhRniXs


tons Made to Jeff Davis by John
PhenfX.
When Frank Pierce was President JEFF Davis
then Secretary Of War, issued a general invita-
ton to officers of the army who were skillful
draughtsmen to send in suggestions for the new
uniform which it had been decided to adopt.
One such invitation was sent to each officer.
Lieutenant Derby ("John Phnnix') was ready
with his pen-a really ingenious artist In reply
he sent to the War department design for a
new uniform. The amendment consisted merely
of ring attached to the seat of the trousers of
each private soldier. Each officer was to carry
instead OF sword, long pole with hook in
the end like Shepherds crook. The pole and
the ring enabled officers to keep privates from
running away in battle Fugtives could easily
be caught by it and brought back. Stragglers
could be kept in line Moreover, the ring
would be very useful in the cavalry service to
fasten soldiers to the saddle, to prevent them
from falling off, and in the artillery service the
rings were to be used for draught purposes in
the absence of mules. These Specifications
were accompanied by the most grotesque pic
lures, representing officers hauling back
cowardly recruits by the serviceable ring, cav
airy securely fastened to the top of their steeds
by the same device, and artillerymen harnessed
to cannon, drawing them through narrow de-
files or up an activity inaccessible to mules, by
cables attached to the p0sterior staples.
vi ouOIucT SuccC Vi DrlSCOl-DOorO was an III.
lustration in gaudy colors of "Derby's Rotary
Mule. Howitzer," accompanied by the following
description: "Upon the back of q young and
vigilant mule strap a mountain howitzer, the
muzzle pointing toward the tail. A similar
piece of ordnance is fastened with iron bands
under the animals abdomen. the muzzle aimed
between his fOrelegs to the front There are
four gunners- apiece-8nd q 'pereuader'
as he is called, whose business 1t is to persuade
the mule to stand, and not retreat, by stuffing
him with oats after each discharge with a tin
sausage-stuffer. When Indians, or other legiti-
mate game, appear In view, the mule is by a
crank movement on the tail, limbered to the
front. It doesn't make any difference which
way the mule faces (and here is where my pat
ent comes in), one gun is always pointing to-
top hOwitzer is discharged. The recoil throws
the mule on his back, bringing the second gun
into position. This is discharged, which sud
denly throws the mule to his feet again. when
the gunners swab out the mules throat with
hay and reload"
The accompanying illustrations Tin brown,
red, blue, and gold, and still on file In the War
Department. represented the rotary mule in
seven different attitudes, looking contented and
happy all the time.
This was felt to be outrageous audacity on the
part Of subaltern. The clerks in the War de-
partment laughed at the funny letter immOder-
ately. but their superiOrs looked serious Jeffer-
son Davis. the head OF the department, was
terribly indignant, and he resolved to defend
his wounded dignity. Charges and speciica-
lions were drawn up against Lieutenant Derby.
and the officers were actually named for his
cOurt-martial. when VIM. L. Marcy, Secretary of
State, man of more sense and self poise said
to the irate Secretary, ''Now, see here, General
Davis, don't do it. This Derby has undoubtedly
superiuOus development Of humor. But he
is shrewd and ingenious, and really q. fine
draughtsman. He has valuable qualities. You
can organize court that will convict him, but
you will be butt Of ridicule on account of it all
your life. Better file the suggestion of the hook
and ring and the lively rotary mule, and say
nothing" And he did,