Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1883-07-05
The Wrong Man Baptized.

Peck's Sun.
Stammering or suffering is one of
the most unpleasant things ut times,
that q man can be afflicted with. A
man may be troubled with almost any
other malady and be cured or helped,
but man who suffers, though he
may at times be free from habit, he
never has confidence in his talking
utensils. They may run all right for a
time, but just rs he expects the most
from his vocal organs, and wants to do
his best, they go back on him, and he
founders around, and can't express his
thoughts to save himself. A sufferer
is usually the best natured man in the
world. 1t seems as though nature pick
ed out the jolliest fellow as watch case
TO put poor vocal works into, so there
won't he any kicking. There is gen
tleman living in this state who suffers
just when he don't want to, but who
can talk right along when there is moth
ing particular to be said. If he gets ex-
cited or interested and wants TO crate,
he gets stuck and has time TO walk
around the block before he can get
things TO working again. He was out
in Iowa recently, and at hotel where
he was stopping, the travelling men
were getting up n party one Sunday TO
go to town "a few miles distant, where n
camp meeting was in progress, and
where there were to be number of con-
verts baptized. and they invited our
friend, TIL sufferer, TO go along.
Not m-m-much," said he. as he
worked ut an untangling a fish line,
while boy brought in tomato can
full of angle worms" If | know m-m-
my own heart, | don't 90 TO no
k-k-k-camp meeting where they bib
baptized at-a-attended baptizing once
and my k-k-k-clothes have not rot
d-d-d-dry yet"
what was the matter, said a drum
mer for a Chicago grocery house.
didn't fall in the water did youp"
''N-n-n-O," said the sufferer. as he
stuffed wad of paper down on top of
the angle worms to keep them from
crawling out, 81 didn't f-f-f-fall in, but
l got in all the s-s-s-s-same. was
sna-sna-snatched in. If you won't tell
any one, | will t-t-t-tcll you about it,
The boys swore thew would never
give it away; and the sufferer went
on.
well, about twenty years ago was
editing p-p-p-paper, in Wis-k-k-con-
sin, and there was n revival ut the town
all winter. and in the spring they adj
vertised TO b-b-b-baptize all of the
k-k-k-converts. Every body went and
w-w-w-went down TO the k.k-k-creek
to see them s-s-s-soak. They had a pre-
siding elder, a stranger TO me, to dido
the baptizing, and when they had dip
ped f-f-few, noticed the elder acted
s-s-s-sort of tired when he pushed the
last woman ashore, and | th-th- thought
he wanted to come out of the w-w-wat-
er, so / reached out my hand TO help
him up the b-b-bank. Do you know,
| he thought l was xxx candidate for
baptism, and he took hold of my hand
and was p-p-pulling me in, when l
said, elder, don't p-p-p-' and before |
could say any m-m-more he said, Have
no f-f-fear, my young k-k-k-christian
| friend, and he put his arm around me
and was pulling me right in. wasn't
rs st-st-stlOng rs l am now, and he had
a g-g-g.grip like prize fighter, and be-
fore knew what he was about, he was
saying Il b-b-baptize thee in the name
of the Father, Son, and Holy Gig ghost,
and was as weak rs k-k-cat. tried
to get away from him, and tried to ex-
plain that | w-w-wasn't the Teller, and
that had n-n-never been converted.
but the naturally pious look on my face
b-b-betrayed me, and suffered so /
couldn't get in n word in time, and he
put me under. AS / went down could
see the crowd on the BIB bank laugh
ing, because they all knew l was BIB
bad, and that it was a mistake of the
strange preacher. i came up strangs
ling, and the first thing l said was
Elder. you have made the d-d-darndest
mistake of your life," and went out on
the bank and shook myself. You may
talk about m-m-ministers not Joking,
but by gracious, shall a-a-always
think that presiding Elder knew l was
no k-k-christian. Ii was picnic for
the crowd, and they laugh at me to
this day. No, gentleman, I k-k-can't
go to the camp meeting, for shouldn't
feel s-s-safe there" and the suffering
man took his fish pole and angle worms
and went down towards the pond,
while the travelling men went to the
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