Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-04-07
Tint Dreadful Had hoy.


marked the bad boy 10 the groceryman.
"it gives me new idea. tell YOU pa
has a great brain, but sometimes lac don't
have il with him. When he said the other
day WAS u terror 10 cats, thought whst
fun there is in cats, and me aud my chum
went TO stealing cats right of, and before
night we had eleven cats Gagged. We hal
one in = canary bird cage, three In pas
old hat-boxes, three In mas bandboxcs,
four in yalises, two in a uunk, and the
rest in closet up stairs. That night pa
said he wanted me TO stay at home, be-
cause the committee that was going TO
get up sn oyster supper In the church
was going to meet at our house, and they
might want me 10 run errsnds. asked
him If nv chum couldn't stay TOO, cause
he is the healthiest infant 10 run after er-
rsuds that ever was, and pa said he could
stay. but we must remember there must
be no monkey business going on. told
him there shouldn't be no monkey husi-
ness, but didn't promise nothing about
cats. Well, sir, you'd Gled. The COM
mittee was In the library, by the bsok
stairs; and me and my chum got the cat
boxes all together ut the top Of tho stairs.
and we took them all out and put them In
a clothes basket, just as the minister was
speaking and telling what great good
was done by these oyster societies. Ia
bringing the young people together. and
taking their minds from the wickedncss
Of the world and turning their thought"
| into different channels; one OF the old tom
cats in the basket gave "purmeow" that
sounded like the walls Of n lost soul for =
| challenge to battle. told my chum that
We couldn't hold the bread board over the
| clothes basket much longer; when two or
three cats begin to yowl, aud the minister
stopped talking, and pa told ma to open
the door and tell the hired girl 10 sec what
was the matter In there. She thought our
cat had got shut up in the storm door, aud
she opened the stair door to yell to the
servant girl, and then pushed the clothes
basket, eats and all Gown the back stairs.
Well, sir, | 'spose no committee tor an oys-
ter supper was ever more astenisied. 1
heard ma fall over willow rocking chair
and say scat and heard pa say Great
Scott and girl that sings In the choir
say, Heavens, I'm stabbed and then
my chum and roe run to the front OF tho
house and come down the front stairs
looking as innocent rs could be, and We
went Ia the library, and was just going
| to tell pa IL there was any errands he
| wanted run my chum aud me was just
aching to run them, when aysllow cat,
without any tail, was walking over thc
minister, and pa was throwing a bsssock
at two cats that were clawing at each
other under the piano, and ma was trying
10 get her frizzes back on her head, and
the choir girl was standing on the lounge
with her dress pulled up trying TO scare
the cats with her striped stockings, and
the COMMITTEES broke up.
Well, 10 tell the honest truth, pa knewI
had something to do with the muss, and
he basted me, and yanked me around ub-
Ill had TO have my arm In slipg; but
what's the use Of making such fuss about
few cats. Ma said she never wanted To
have any more company again, because |
spoiled everything. But got even with
pa for basting me this morning, and i
darsnt 20 home. You see ma has got
great big bath sponge, as big m hair
cushion, and this morning / took the
sponge aud filled it with warm water, aud
took the feather cushion oct OF the CHAIR
that pa sits In at the table and put th.
sponge in It's place, and covered II over
with the cushion cover, and when we nll
90, Sc. down 10 the table pa came In and
settled down on it to ask blessing. lie
started in by closing bis eyes and placing
his hands ur in front OF him like letter
", aud then he begun to ask that the food
that we were about 20 partake Of be blessed,
and then he was going on 10 ask tiiat all VI
us be made to sec the error Of our ways,
when he began 10 hitch around. and he
opened one eye and looked as pious as
bey can look when he knows the pancakes
are getting cold, and pa kind fsighed and
said Amen sort Of snapplsh, and got up
and told ma lie wasn't feeling very well.
10 take his place and pass around the Saus-
age and potatoes, and he looked scarf ana
vent out With his hand on his pocket -
though he would like to shoot, and ma she
got up and went and sat 10 pas chair. The
sponge didn't hold more than a half pail
OF water, and didn't want 70 play no joke
on ma cause the cat nearly broke her up,
but she sat down and Was just going 10
help me when she rang the bell and called
the hired girl, and said she felt a. thouzh
her neuraigia was coming on, and she
would 90 TO her room, and told the girl
to sit down and help Henbsry. The gIri
| sat down and poured mo out some eones
| and then she said 'Howiy saint Pathrick
but behave them pancakes are burnin:
| and she went out into the kitchen. drank
NV coffee, aud then took the big sponge
out OF rhc chair and put the cushion in
the place Of IL, and then put the sponge
| iu the bafh house, and went up 70 pa
| and mas room and asked them II had
| better go after doctor, and ps bad
| changed his clothes aud got on his SUNDAY
pants. and he said Never mind tbe doc
TOR. we II pull through, and for me " 80
| 10 the devil and came over here. osy.
there Is no harm IN q IItsIe wsr1D water, 70
there: Well, I'D like to know VIAL pa
and ma and the hired girl Thought ! 81
the only real healthy ons IL oar fssnhy;