The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1883-09-08

uulluICN pCOplC, ~ Cpl NVulN nav I
had to hire two hotels if he took
his wives out for a day in the coun-
try. Ifyou would stop and think
once in a while you would know
more"
The grocery mans eyes began
to stick out as the bad boy contin-
ued, rs though the statistics had
never been brought to his attention
efore, but he was bound to stand
by his old friend Solomon, and he
said, "Well, Solomon's wives must
have been different from u wives
ofthe present day"
"Not much" said the boy, rs he
saw he was paralyzing the grocery
man. "Women have been the
same ever since Eve. She got
mashed on the old original dude,
and it stands to reason that Solo
mans wives were no better than
the mother of the human race.
Statistics show that one woman ont
of every ten is red headed. That
would give solomon an even hun
dred red healed wives. just that
hundred rcd headed wives would
be enough to make an ordinary
man think that there was q land
that is faircr than this ]nea
there would be, out three hundred
blondes, and the other six hundred
would be brunctts, and maybe hv
had n few albinos, and bearded
women, and fat women and dwaris
Now, those thousand women had
appetites, desire for dress and
style. the same as all women I'm
agine Solomon saying to
Girls, let's all go down to Sire Ie.
cream saloon and have a dish @
ice cream eau YOU, with y.n
brain muddled with Goldfish,
new potatoes, realize the PC
that would follow Suppose, after
Solomon's broom brigade had got
seated in the ice creamery, one of
the red headed wives should cate
Solomon winking at a strange CIR
at another table. You may thin
Solomon did not know enough To-
wink, or that he was not that kind
of a hirt, but he must have been or
he could never have succeeded in
marrvipg a thousand wives. in a
sparsely settled country. No, sir.
it looks to me as though Solomon
in all his glory, was an old masher,
and from what | haye seer OF men
being bossed around with one wife
| don't envy Solomon his thousand
Why inst imagine that gang OF
wives going and ordering fall bon
nets. Solomon would have to be
king or a Vanderbilt to stand it.
Ma wears five dollar silk stockings,
and pa kicks awfully when the bill
comes in. Imagine Solomon put
ting up for a few thousand pair of
silk stockings. am glad you vii
sit down and Cason with me in a
rational way about some Of these
bible stories that take nv breath
away The minister stands me Of
when | try to talk with him about
such things, and tells me to study
the parable Of the Prodigal Son,
and the deacons tell me to go and
soak my little head. There is
darned little encouragement for a
boy to try and figure out things.
How would you like to have a
thousand red headed wives come
into the store this minute and tell
you they wanted you TO send car
riages around to the house at three
o'clock so they could so for Il drive:
Or how would you like to have al
hired girl come rushing in and tl..
you to send up six hundred doctor
because six hundred of your w..-.
had been taken with the cLo'GaI
morbus Or"
so, don't mention 1t, SSH.
grocery man, with a Shuuucr. II
wouldn't take Solomon's place and
be the natural protector # "a tuou
sand wives if anybody would give
me the earth. Think OF ct NJ up
in a cold wintermornng ana oUild-
ing Il thousand fires. Ihnh OF
two thousand pair Of hands IN aIvl-
lows hair Boy, YOU have shown
me that Solomon needed a guar
dian over him. lie -t.r't nave
sense
~ es," says the boy, aaa think
of two thousand feet, ,ae ,a
cold as a brick of chocolate &c,
A man would wdnt aba.a
big as the fence to affair glou.d
But | don't want TO harrow roa,
feelings. | must go and p-t 10.
arnica on pa, lie has got home.
anI sa,.a he hoe bo.u ., a.,