Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-05-18
=>:eIerf Rfabing.
The Da y-Boarder.

Inc Uay-B0arder.
you take woman,'-broke in the
day -boarder-'you take a oman on
the war-path. and tjust beats all how
deceitful she can be. Here he -four
ished his fork over the remnants of
what had been an immense pile of
ouckwheat cakes, with sort of come
tony arms-love air, which made the
Ia"dIady shove them away ous of bis
reach. Z. t'-74s---
What do you mean by being on the
war path inquired the blonde dress
maker.
'Gunning for a husband-after mat
rimsnial scalps, | boarded at a pri-
vafe house in Omaha last summer, and
the woman who superintcnded things
was only hired by the real owner to
run it; bnt YOU wouldn't think, to look
at her, but what she owned the whole
city. and had IA two-thirds interest in
the bank. She was Just old business.
She wasn't deuce high for looks,
though-so blamed ugly in the face,
that cts wouldn't stay in the house.
One day mean cuss-a clerk in the
post ctfce-came to board with us,
and we all took IA ten-story dislike to
him tie minute he squared himself at
the table. But lie wasn't more'n a
week before the boys put IA job on him
After meals We used to pick our teeth
in the front parlor and loaf around
five or ten minut, s; and every day we'd
say something about the splendid lay
cut the landlady bad in the way of
town property and personal effects,
and what "a catch she was, and how
much money she laid by in the bank
every month. and how long she had
been a widow, and how economical she
was, and suggest that she wouldn't be
so bad looking if she would put on a
clean dress once in "A while. and get
some lunar cuustic and burn off a cou-
pie of seed wards alongside her nose.
The post-office clerk swallowed all
this cuff like IA tripe-eater with NOR
bid appetite, and gaped for more; and
1T was a. much as five or six could do
to keep him filled up-he seemed to
pine for it so much.
lie began to dislike some of us
boarders early in the day be was that
jealous of us; and We could hear him
muttetiug to himself gong up to his
room how that such and such a one
Of us would have to leave when he
came TO run the house; az d when one
.-r---------e.--..-,- - .-.---.st tle Tauie, lie
would choke up and glare at him as
though he wanted to say, That's all
right now; but You'll have to trot when
| hold the ribbons Well. the first
thing We krowed he popped the ques-
ton, as accepted on the spot, and it
l,ahed out, and We all congratulated
the poor devil, and they were married
tie next Sunday; and / bit away after
the CEREMONY he tackled me, just as
WAS going down the front steps, and
said: Il guess I'll have to git you to
give up your room after this week.
You amt very pretty, anyway-no
great shakes for utility: and | hate to
>eeyou stand around like bump on a
leg, and eating like parcel of swine
Yes, | guess you'll have to 60. | can
rent the room easy enough to a gem
tleman. | told him he must be drunk
or crazy; that he hadn't any control
over the house, and he said, : What.
You scut1ling parasite:, and just then
his wife came out, dressed all up in
her ancient toggery, with big carpet
sack in her hand and a waterproof
cloak on her arm, and said if it was all
the same to him they would 60 out
and look up some rooms to rent; and
then the poSt-otfice clerk said What
and tri,d to smile; but he looked sick
er n hoss, and his knee pans ratified
/ together like window sash in a cy-
clone.
The mistress of the house told me.
said the new wife, that | would have
to dig out as soon as | got married.
but she gave me an old lounge up in
in the back attic for weddin' present.
Why-why, amt you the owner of
the house--the landlady" chattered
the post, ,lffice official.
NO, | was only the house keeper.
We'll, suffering Lazarus. said the
clerk, you've gone and fried a pretty
mess of fish. you-you. and he drawed
lack to strike her in the face, but ]
caught his arm; and the boys came out
and We ROLE d him down the sidewalk,
and kicked him up the street a couple
OF blocks, and left him there to work
his way back to the house as best he
could. Yes, you take "a woman on the
war path, and she's as deceitful as a
house fly in the fruit cake