davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-05-21

PROVIDENCE WORCESTER, NASHUA
and all northern New England points.
STEAMERS
STONINGToN AND NARRAGANSETT
Leave Pier NO. ~. n. R, daily, except sundays,
at y.
Tickets and state-rCOms be No
House. Nos. 1871, 397 1856 Broadway Fifth Avenue aud
Windsor Hotels, and Pier No 20, n. II.
+. W. POPPLE, Acting Gen'l ger Ag't
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-05-21

For Bows and Your Msn-C,1n.rv
A LEXANDER M:litary-Board-
Principal o. II. WILLIS. PHI D.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07

sidewalk. ga charge have to keep" and
down came the largest pot of the lot with a
prodigious noise.
"Don'h" squealed Mrs. Spoopendyke,
watching the fate OF her decorations with dis
may.
81 ANTI" yelled Mr. Spoopendyke, letting
so two more in the effort to keep his hat on.
Who is? Get hold of that off representative
OF the day we celebrate" and Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke clutched wildly at sliding pot, not
that he cared for the Hover particularly, but
he had felt four drop on his foot and he felt
some fears. "Dodgast the pot he squawk-
ed, as it eluded him and landed on his best
corn.
Il think you're real mean!" sobbed Mrs.
Spoopendyke, surveying the wreck with
streaming eyes
You do, do you!" howed Mr. Spoopen-
dyke: who felt as badly as his wife did, now
that it was all over. "P'raps you had some
kind OF a notion that those pots would fall
when let go OF 'em Why didn't you put
EN- in a bag so a man could carry 'em? What
do you want of decorations anyway"
Because tomorrow Easter, and l wanted
to help make the church look pretty" and
with this explanation Mrs. Spoopendyke
broke down completely and wept bitterly"
well, amt it just as much Easter out
doors as it IS in the church," demanded Mr..
Spoopendyke and haven't you decorated
as much as any woman? Whatd you eX-
pect? Think people are going to take you
Tor cathedral just because you take q few
shrubs 20 church once year? Now you 20
in the house and don't you let me hear any
more whimpering. With Your notions about
duty and your desire to get the best of the
other women in the church, you only want
bell in your mouth and black collar be Il
whole guild"
And with this benediction Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke started off to sec Specklewottle and
make some arrangement with him for going
fishing as as the trout ponds should
show signs OF breaking up.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07
Bernhardt's Advice to a Beggar.
Boston Journal.


Mile Bernhard had her temper triAe
soured by her money losses of late, and more
especially by the painful necessity OF selling
her Jewels in the auction rooms of the Hotel
Drouot As she has always been excessively
charitable, she is haunted by beggars wher-
ever she goes. Day before yesterday, when
getting out of her coupe at the door of the
Vaudeville Theater she was accosed by a
snivelling old woman who had made frequent
drafts upon her purse
40 my sweet lady" said the crone, "do
help me once more
Sarah's hand sought her portmonnaie, but
she had left that useful article at home
Have you iye-franc piece?" she said to
her coachman.
NO. madame; not SOU"
Then what shall l do?" blubbered the OLD
woman.
Sell your diamonds" answered Sarah, as
she gathered up her skirts and rustled into
the theater.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07
A LITTLE SPICE.

"The Siamese system of hazing" says the
Rochester Post, lis to allow each Sianese
college student to have two wives"
An English traveller in the Holy Land, it is
said. has discovered Jacobs we'll We are de.
| lighted to hear it. There has been 4 rumor
afoat that Jacob was dead.
The Norristown Herald thinks q new book
called "Unspotted From the World must re-
fer to Captain Howgate, because he is I'M
spotted" as far as the police are concerned.
Recent excavations at Pomneii have un-
covered the remains of a man with both
hands resting on his stomach. This would
seem to indicate that the early cucumber
was not unknown to the ancents.
Last Christmas eve Mrs. j went up
stairs 10 see if the children had hung up
their stockings for Santa Claus, and found
| that little Fred had pinned his up in promi-
nent place, with little slip of paper at
tached, containing this suggestive sentence:
The Lord loveth cheerful give-."
did you get any orders?' asked the boss
of the drummer who had just returned from
| his first trip. ANY orders? echoed the
drummer; THAT'S the trouble; that's all did
get. was ordered out of every shop went
into before | could sell thing. 0 yes or
ders enough, ii that's all fellow wants"
Charlie We're de We're Tremendously:
"Geniuses, my dear Miss Marlborough, arc
| men who Just miss being fools and fools are
Marlborough (awestruck) What original
things you say, Mr.. We're de We're; l some
| times think that you are almost a genius"
The hair of girl employed in an Eastern
cotton-mill was caught in the machinery,
torn off her head and ground into bits. But
the girl didn't mind it much. She kept right
on at her work, simply remarking that it
only cost 81, anyhow This is one of the adj
vantages of art over ADMINISTRATIONS
Herald.
A gentleman not long since, in one of his
rides in southern Illinois, sought to make
himself interesting to a good-looking mother
OF a sweet baby occupying the next seat i'll
the car. After duly praising the baby he re-
marked to the mother: Hes real Sucker,
| suppose" NO SIR said the lady, blush
ing, 1--WE had to raise him on the bottle" The
gentleman resumed his reading and has not
Dragged on any strange babies since.
Mrs. David Davis doesn't seem to master
all at once the grand promotions of the
career upon which she has entered. Looking
forth from the hotel window at Aiken the
other morning, she observed:
II fear | shau't be able to get out to-day,
David, there's great mist rising and it must
be very damp"
The ndge, after taking an observation,
said reasSurngly
That isn't mist, dear; it's only one of
my summer vests that l told the chamber
maid to hang out last night"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07
A Premature DECISION.
Robert Herrick.
EIberton fGa.l South.

Efberton Cal South.
Hearing so much of courts and seeing so
many lawyers recently reminds us of an in
cdent that our congressman, Hon. Seab
Reese used to tell of while solicitor-g general
on this judicial circuit.
The Superior Court was in session in one
of the lower counties of the circuit, and the
solicitor, with the counsel for defense, were
engaged in the selection of jury for the
trial of man charged with murder.
AS usual in such cases, some difficulty was
experienced in obtaining jury. and the
court was getting tired of such tedious pro-
ceedings.
"Call the next juror, Mr.. Clerk" said the
solicitor for the hundredth time.
The clerk called out the man, and an old
man with an honest face and suit of blue
jeans clothes rose up in his place, and the
solicitor asked the following customary ques-
tons:
Have you, from having seen the crime
committed, or having heard any OF the evil
oence delivered under oath, formed or ex-
pressed an opinion as to the guilt or inno-
cenGe of the prisoner at the bur2"
mo. sir"
SIS there any bias or prejudice resting on
your mind for or against the prisoner at the
BARR
''None, sir"
us your mind perfectly impartial between
the State and the accused?'
1T is"
Are you opposed to capital punish
meni?'
I'm not"
All the questions had been answered and
the court was congratulating itself on having
another juror, and the solicitor in solemn
tones SAID:
Juror look upon the prisoner-prisoner
look upon the juror"
The old man adjusted his spectacles, and
peerinsly gazed at the prisoner for full half a
minute, when he turned his eyes toward the
court and earnestly said:
Judge, I'll be condemned if / don't be-
lieve he's guilty."
1t is useless to add that the court was
considerably exasperated at having lost a
juror. but the more humorous inclined had
good laugh out of the old mans premature
candor
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07
Mr.. and Mrs. spoependyke.

Brooklyn Eagle.
NOW, my dear" said Mrs, Spoopendyke,
gathering up her skirts and making for the
door, NOW, my dear, we are all ready, aren' t
we? You take those pots of plants and III
carry the cut flowers"
'How'm to take thirteen pots of plants
in two hands? growled Mr.. Spoopendyke
surveying his job with dissatisfaction in his
eye. ''WhaI is there about me that seems
to give you the impression that 1 am a
freight train? What dye call these things
anyway? What's this ghost standing up
here with a candle in his hand? What par
ticular interest has he got in the Easter bust
ness? How'm going to carry these things?
That's what | want to know"
"That'sa Gala lily, dear" replied Mrs
Spoopendyke laying down her flowers and
turning to her husband. Now, YOU can
take those pots in your arms by letting the
edge of one pot rest ON the edge of another
Let me show YOU" andMrs. Spoopendyke ar
ranged the pots, neatly folded in clean white
paper, in her husbands arms. That's the
way to carry them" she chirped. opening
the door for him. Now you arc all right!n
"Ex pect me to put on my hat with my leg
don't your inquired Mr.. Spoopendyke, try
ing to reach around so that he might see out
from his burden. "P'raps you think don't
need any decoration while I'm carrying these
dodgasted shrubs! Maybe you think I'd
present q more tropical appearance without
any hiatt"
"Pil put on your hat, dear" futtered
Mrs. Spoopendyke and she carefully put it
on hind side before, and flattened it down
until the back BREADTH" as she called it,
rested on his shoulders. Now, you're ali
right, dear; be careful of the howers''
Mr.. Spoopendyke followed his wife TO the
street and gave the burden sort of hitch to
relieve himself.
Here! Look herel" he cried to his wife,
you didn't load me straight! These things
are slipping! Fix 'en,, can't yep
we havn't far to go" pleaded Mrs Spoon
endyke, who couldn't see that anything was
wrong. Cant you hold them, dear, till we
get to church,"
"Oh, 1 can't hold 'em!" squealed Mr..
Spoopendyke. Get out OF my eye! Can't
We take this yaller lily out of my eyel Look
out for my hat! Don't you see it's slipping
Off If you don't make some better arrange
ment about these things the neghbors will
be startled presently by the sound of crack
ing crockery!"
Il hopc you won't break any of them"
sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke. Then she pulled
his hat over his eyes and took him by the Ell
bow to lead him along.
Look outl' yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke, as
he felt IL pot going. Here's a decoration in
danger Catch it, if We don't want 20 lose a
big slice of this resurrection Catch it,
quick!
But Mrs Spoopendyke was too late The
pot dropped with a crash on Mr.. Spoopen-
dykes instep and rolled into the gutter.
"Oh, dear!' nIoaned Mrs. Spoopendyke.
There you are!'' roared Mr.. Spoopendyke,
hopping with pain, and dropping another
pot. Satisfied now? Know any one you
want to back me against for Garden of
Eden? Got any more horticultural societies
you want knocked out? Here goes another"
and the third of the series smashed on tue
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07
Fortune Left a Worthy Man.

Fittsburg Commercial-GaZette
Mr. w. A. Collins, a gentleman we'll and
favorably known in this city, has come into
good run of luck of which his many friends
will be pleased to learn. Mr.. Collins had an
uncle, who had resided for anumber of years
back in Paris in which city he recently died.
He left fortune of 81 500, 900, and by the
terms of his will this large amount of money
is divided among six relatives, one of them
being Mr. Collins. The latter is also made
executor of the estate and is now preparing
to take possession. Nothing has been said
about the matter as the heirs are perfectly
aware of the fact, that in overhauling the
estate another will may be found which will
put different face on the matter But while
this is possible, it is not at all probable.
Mr. Collins was formerly one of the pro-
prietors of the Chronicle, and, after dispos-
ing OF his interest in that paper some years
ago, located i'll the South, and was engaged in
operating an extensive plantation in Florida.
He was afterward connected with the press
of Louisville, and has recently returned to
this city. At present he holds position on
the editorial staff OF the Telegraph. He is
Il graceful writer, with the faculty OF making
his words cut when occasion demands; is a
gentleman of the most pleasing type, and one
to whom kind fortune comes deservedly.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07
A Clean Congressional Record.

Washington Letter in Chicago limos.
The eminent public services rendered by
ex-senator Tabor of Colorado. are only
equalcd by the brilliant congressional record
of the Hon. Benjamin Wood, who is alleged
to have represented the Fifth New York dis
trict. Mr. Wood is we'll known as the editor
and proprietor OF the New York News, an
afternoon one-cent paper which is large in
no respect except in its circulation and
financial receipts Mr. Wood has achieved
the distinction of having introduced not q
single act of legislation during his two years
of supposed service. He was seldom in
Washington during the meetings OF the
Forty-seventh Congress, and ii the Treasury
Department did not nave his receipts for his
salary he would hardly be able to prove that
he had been congressman at all. If Ben
Wood ever runs for Governor, he can point
with pride to his clean record in the Forty
seventh Congress-
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07
Browning's New Poem.


o, hut Is 1T not hard, dear2
Mine are the nerves to quake at a mousse
II a spider droUs shrink with fear;
should die outright in Il haunted house;
While for yOu-did the danger dared bring
help
From a lions den could steal his whelp,
With a serpent round me, stand stock still,
Go sleep In a churchyard--so would Will
Give me the power TO dare AMI do
Yaliantly-just for you!
Much amiss in the head, dear,
toll at language, tax my brain
Attempting to draw-the scratches here!
play, play, practice, and all in vain;
But for yOu-it my triumph brought yOn pride,
] could grapple with Greek plays Till died,
Paint portrait of YOU, who can tell2
Work my fingers off for yOur pretty WELT"
Language and painting and music, too,
Easily dOne-fOs yoni
Strong and fierce in the heart, dear,
With-more than will-what seems power
To pouner on my prey, love ontbroke here
In Aanie devouring ana to deyour.
Bnch love has lahOred its best aud worst
To win me a lnver yet, first as last,
Ihaye not Quiekened his pulse one beat,
Fixed moments fancy, bitter or sweet;
Yet the streng fierce hearts loves lab0rs due,
Utterly lost, you!
From Mary Wellstoneeraft.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07
The Wind Blows.

Harkl
The wind blows and sleet and hail
Fast follow on the eddying gale
The winter seething IN the SHOWS:
The sweeping storm trOm hight tn hight
Beats back the huge, 'devOuring night
The watehdOgs bark
And the wind blows.
HarkI
The wind blows, the hills grow brown,
The snow melIs and the rain comes down,
The swollen current dripS and flows
The water foams the bridge gives way;
BY night the hOrseman drinks the spray:
The watehdogs bark
And the wind blows.
Harki
The wind blows the nights grow brief,
The savage forests burst in leaf,
The time of planning comes and goes
The waters fall, the sand drifts down;
Suns pass and no man thinks thereon:
The watchdOgs bark
And the wind blows,
Dora Read Goodale in Jude pendent.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07
Song from the Old onarlers.


De debhil he got hOl' er me
Wun Sat'day pite 'fure day,
An rid me mp an down de rode
In er scan'lus kim o. wayl
He spur'd me right an spur'd the ler,
An whupp'd me frunt an r'ar,
An chaw'd my ears Jwell dey wuz rags,
An rubbd my back all bar!
He bit me heah-he bit me dar,
He bit me twelt I'm So
But Of ebber I cit ho' o. him,
He won't bite me no moi
He made me tror, an pace an IOpe,
An jump de ole church wall,
An run me 'crost do big tOom stones
Ontwell | fetch'd er squall:
Good Lawd, presarbe dis Niger now
He'll nehner mo- hackslIdp, sahp'
De debhil den fell of my back,
An me no mo- he'll ride, sahi
He bit me heah-he lit me dare
He med me sick an So
But when do git hol' o. him.
He'll bite an ride no mo-.
odd ST." in Georgia Major.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07
Burnett's Cocoaine.

THE REST OF ALL HAIR DRESSINGS.
Il allays irritation, removes all tendency IT,
dandruf, and lnvgorates tho action of the
oapillaries in the highest degree, thus promoting
a vigorous and healthy growth of hair. Its effec.
upon the glossiness and richness of the hair Is
such as cannot he surpassed.
Eurnctt's Fiavoring Extracts are RIO pest.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07
Startling Debility,

both nervous ana general, lack of self-cOnfi-
,ieneczand will power, impaired memory, 4 de-
spondency, weak back, and kindred affections,
common results of youthful follies aud per-
nicions practices, pursned in solitude. Means OF
unfaillng aud perfect cure are suggested in large
Illustrated treatise, sent for ihree letter postage
stamps. Address Worlds Dispensary Medical
Association, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07
Divination by n DafYodiI.

When Daff0dil see,
Hanging down his head t'wards me:
Guess mny what must be:
First, shall decline my head;
Secondly, shall be dead;
Lastly, safely buried.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07

A SICK officer out at Fort scott,
Got his muscles all tied In a knot,
He is now out agnln,
Aud says for all pain,
st. Jacobs OIL goes right to the opOt.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07

man IN agony, crNlDS lot SuCcOr crying to
me, and the voice was the voice of my friend
Fitzgerald.
/ tried to lift myself from my bed, but a
heavy weight held me down. l struggled to
sneak, but my tongue was tied. / rubbed
my eyes, but the lids seemed glued. At last
they parted slowly, and | saw that of which
my mind has never lost the faintest impress
sion. / was not lying on my bed; l was not
in the low, square room, with half q dozen
men sleeping about me. l was standing Oh
the rivers brink several miles below the sta
ton, standing there alone in the awful still
ness of winter night in the wilderness. The
moonlight was SO brilliant that every object
was distinctly visible.
l saw not twenty feet from me break in
the ice, and the blue water bubbling up
clearly. Above the water rose mans fair,
strong head, and two hands grsSping, trying
to lift the body beneath up to The ice which
broke and crumbled away from their touch.
lie was dying before my eyes, and l could
not stir an inch 10 save him. I saw the beat
ing of his hand grow feebler and the tension
OF his face relax.
"Spare her, Jack!-spare herl' he cried
I was silent.
Then once again he cried, and that sound
think will always echo about the world with
me: Speak to me. Give me sign"
| forgot my hatred of her and my resolve
to hurt her; l was sensible only of his pitful
pleading BY great effort flung up my
right arm as sign of acquescence.
His hands fell. his head sank back ward,
and. the blue water sparkled and dubbed in
the moonlight l shouted. Fitzgerald Fitz-
gerald" l seemed to spring forward. when
the whole scene was transformed 1 was sit
ting up in bed, and the watch by the fire was
saying, drowsily:
whats the natter What are you max
ing such row abeu,2"
"Where is FitzgeraldT' I said, looking
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-12-05
Aunt Maria Remarks.

That the bridge needs cleaning, that
the dirt in it spoils the skirts Of her
dress. 1t would pay some one to clean
it for the sweepings; the sweepiDgs
would make the best of fertilizer for
a garden.
That the young men should not give
the girls so much candy when they
spark them, or sit up with their sweet
hearts later than 10 or IL o'clock at
night.
That Uncle jake is skunk of a
man and should have corn cob put 10
his mouth, and be tied on ducking
board and be .'doused' up and down
in the canal for his vulgar personal in
Situations about people.
That the bridge over the gutter a.
long Cherry street has set everybody a
talking about the grading and filling up
of that highway.
That the new post Office is a love of
place.
That Uncle Jake shows Low breed
ing IN bis remarks about the preachers
and Thanksgiving.
That Aunt Maria hopes that the mar
rows railroad L. not buffer enterprise.
Aunt Maria makes her best bow to
Uncle Jake aud says Dear jake, what
a snob you ure to write such personals.
That almost all the pretty girls and
nice young men Will attend the ins,i-
tute.
That Uncle Jake must have been
bred on the stree: or on commons, or
some other open place, for how else
could he come to have such a dlsre-
gard for private affairs as to be cont'n-
uousIy talking about the private affairs
and acts of people in private life. jake
Dear, where we're you bred Do hold
that scaUdalous tongue or Aunt Maria
will lose her good feeling for you.
That there are few weddings on the
carpet for the holidays.
That good many private excursions
have been planned for the holidays,
which, if Uncle Jake would know o!,
would cause him to show bis bad breed
ing by passing ugly personal remarks.
Epvy, Uncle Jake, is bad thing to
have--it makes one unhappy. Pray
to be freed from it. Perhaps the Lord
will bear you, i: your day of grace has
not gone by. Aunt Nara hopes that
you may be heard. Pray jake for a
better heart, decent tongue, and the
pen Of a gentleman. aud leave the bal
suce to the Lord. | will then hear
no more about your remarks about peo.
pie as tkey pass along the street. Take
Aunt Maria's advice aud s'don't you
forget it."
That the old bachelors are happy
over the expectation CT having the ques.
tion popped to them IN 1884. Don't
expect such good luck from
AUNT MARIA.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-12-05
Court Proceedings.

special term Of court of conven-
ed on the 26th day of November last,
which disposed of the following bus
;rass between that date and the ev-
enipg of the 29th day of the month
just stated.
There were only three jury cases.
6-st Israel C. Caldwell VS.. Joseph
Rall and VIM. P. Bell, No. 8, April
term. 1882. This WIS suit to get
possession of piece of land in Lack
township, which had been sold at
= Sheriffs sale as the porperty OF 10
seph Bell. VIM. P. Bell claimed the
ownership of the property under q
deed in his name. Verdict for Cald-
Ill A motion for a new trial was
made.
second-T A. Elder VS.. Overseers
Of Milford township, No. 80, April
-, 1884 This was to recover 81
20 for doctoring Mrs. Thaddeus
Wo,ner Verdict in favor OF Over
seers-
Tb;rd-John R. Van Horn vs. Ma
than t. Van Horn, No H3' Aprii
I
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-12-05
TO TRES PASSERS.

NOTICE TO TRES PASSERS.
lN All persons are hereby notified not to
trespa.s on the lands of the undersigned,
in Walker srd Fermanagh townships, for
the purpose of hunting, BUILDING fires, or
for any other trespass purpose.
SAMUEL ArKEE. HEyRT ArKER,
CHRISTIAN MUssER, REUBEN M0Isr,
Tsasc AuETR- WIrIr.s RICKESEAcH,
WELLINGTON SMITH, kgETz KAUFMAN,
JosErH ;. WEAVER, SUsNS BONNER
JoSAs KAUTFstS, CYRrs SIEBEE
Get. 81, lSS3-'f.