News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-03-29

BRO. GARDNER WAVES wRoTHY.
He Says What He Thinks About Charity
and the Ways of Dispensing IL,
From the Detroit Free Press.l

''but when de good man h'ars a knock
l on his doah at midnight de feelm' dat he
kin git up an open de doah an ak wheder
= de pusson wants to borry camphor or
= mustard am wort de biggest coner lot in
any city in de land.
ono ADMISSION"
The Committee on the Sick reported
that Brothers Shindig Watkins, Back
Hold White and Liverpool Joseph had
, applied for financial relief on the ground
that they were afflicted with boils.
"'How many?" asked Brother Gard
ner.
5 "Thrce apiece, sab" replied the
; Chairman.
| q want to make decishUn right we're
an now" continued the President, to
de effeck dat biles doan' count in APP
plvin' to de relief fund. A bile am sim
, ply chilbIan III an enlarged an aggra-
l waited form, an while de owner may be
entitled to a resolushun expressin' our
heartfelt sorrow, he can't draw any
money. We will advise him what to use
fur a poultice, an we will let him keep
his seat while addressin' de Char, but he
must not expect us to go furder. Let it
be distinctly understood by all dat biles,
warts, chilblains, sore heels, toofache.
sore eyes, pain in de chist, dyspepsia,
chills an cold in de head doan' entitIe de
lucky holder to prize in de club"
a SOLEMN ANNOUNCEMENT.
Pickles Smith then arose in his most
, solemn manner and announced that he
had a painful duty to perform. Brother
Integrity Taylor, local member who
was voted in about a year ago, knocked
ut his door at midnight on the night
previous and announced that he was
about to depart for Canada by short cut
across the frozen river. While he felt
swelling Of the heart at the idea of sew
ering his connection with the club Il wife |
whom he left in a sudden manner in Ohio J
| seven years ago had arrived in Detroit in /
/ company with an officer to look him up |
and demand explanations. Rather than |
scandaIize the club he would jump out |
and begin life anew in some secluded .
Canadian village where no one would
know how many wives he had run away
from nor suspect the canker at his heart.
He had left money to pay up all dues,
surrendered his certificate, and gone
away with tears in his eyes and a good
word for all brother members.
On motion of Giveadam Jones a vote
of thanks was rendered the eXiIed mem
Der, and on motion of Waydown Bebee
it was declared the hope Of the meeting
that neither Of his wives would succeed
in overhauling him.
LAS fall, said Brother Gardner, as
he gazed down upon Elder Toots in a
paraIvzing way, q made some remarks
upon de subiick of charity. 1t seems
dat my posishun was misunderstood, an
dis evenin' I hope to make it plain.
ODE Good Book speaks of charity
thousand times, an a big sheer Of de
people believe dat de word as used in de
Bible means dat we mus open our
purses to de poo! In de fust place, I
ailnestIy believe dat de charity of de
Bible means lookin' lightly upon de
faults of our feller-men. 1t means dat
we must Overlook, excuse an forgive.
Charity covereth multitude of sins
Does dat mean loaf of bread passed
outer de kitchen doah TO a beggar, or
does,i it mean dat he who cberIooks dc
faults of others shall have some Of his
own condoned? hold to de latter.
''But let us admit dat de charity of de
Bible means adm pc poo. If arm ten
shiIIin's a day an work in cold an heat /
an rain-if my wife economies an I'm
keerfuI-if we go slow an dress within '
our means, an manage to lay up few 5
dollars, what man or woman on airth has ,
de right to tell me dat | mus pass any
part of my savin's out to people who am !
poo frew der own fault? Whar' I have 8
worked, dey have Ioafed. Whar' 1 have t
pinched dey have squandered. Whar' !
1 have denied myself, dey have cut loose
wild a free hand.
Oar am not an able-bodied man in f
America who can't arm sufficient to !
board clothe and school family of six, +
and send his wife to church on SUNDAYS. (
Oar am not a wilder in dis kentrv who
can't arm at least dollar a day at some
occupashun. Oar am not an orfan who
has de shadow of a right to ask any man 5
fur a nicEle. {
"Our public charities am so many :
frauds upon taxpayers. De S25, 900 5
raised by tax in Detroit falls into de t
hands of people who have no business '
wild one shiIlin' of it. 1t goes to drunk s
ards an idlers an pretenders, who make '
it a duty to live upon charity from one {
var to anoder. l defy de most ardent $
philanthropist in dis kentry to show me I
one case whar' a city poo fund dealt out {
to paupers has lifted anybody above {
akin again. De city which raises de t
moas' money has de moas' paupers. !
Figgers prove it, an yet philanthropists !
won't admit dat it proves anything. ,
LET me start out tomorrow an han |
s. each to 100 solicitors of charity an {
how many would have a dollar left by f
night. At least half would spend a por- I
ton for beer, whisky or tobacco, and not
twenty of de lot would buy wood, flour
or clothing.
He who gives to a tramp encourages I
loaferism, thieving an a dozen crimes. [
He who gives to man or woman able t
to walk de streets am a supporter Of vice
an idleness. t
Oats whar' I stan on on de one side Il
OF de queshm Of charity, an each pass e
in day turns up somethin' to convince +
mn LOT I an, c,r,,ac+ Pint ,,,v, NJ. ON, [