The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-12-23

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Emma Abbott said the other day 70 q
Detroit Times reporter that she had
among her costumes one elegant dres Of
hand embroidered brown velvet aid
came..'s lair, which she could neither get
into nor out OF without help."My maid"
she said, "sssist's me and buttons the two
rows of buttons with q shoe-hook. Then
I feel just as if ! were q trussed mummy.
[ must cay. though. it fits diviLely.'
Girl in hammock,
Reading book,
Catches man
By hook or crook.
Girl in kitchen
Sc-ubbing pan,
Can not gobble
Any Daa.
Ten years later,
Head in wbirl,
Mar wishes he'd taken
Kitchen girl.
"I'm 80 alarmed, Lizzie" exclaimed 8
st. Louis girl, who WAS engaged 10 be
married to young army Ell ner:" be
hasn't written me in three days" "There
Is no occasion to get excited" was the
resssuring reply: she's out of the reach
of Indians, there is no epidemic prevail
ing where he is stationed, and when he
last wrote you he was in perfect health"
"Oh, yes, l know all that" said the
timid, sgitated creature but then there's
the army worm"
The secret Of J. &. Emmets's success
on the stage and the fascination his plays
io 1oek
He always introduces child in his pieces
precociOue, cunning little kid that fairly
sets the ladies wild. The other day in
Chicago the ladies crowded. every part of
| put her little arms around Emmett's
neck and kissed him, the pat.er of kid
gloves sounded like shower of rain
drops on single roof.
THE MAN AND THE HAT.
"Well, my DEAR" said an Austin man
to the wife of his bosom, fshsll call for
you, say at three O'Clock, THE sfternoon?
"Call for me! Why. what for?" in
CURED his wife in an evident tone of sur :
prise
To 60 to the milliner's after hat"
After nat! Why, hubby, didn't We
get q new hat for me only yesterday?
What on earth are you talking about?'
20. l forgot, surely. Why, yes, SO we
did. see it now very plainly. It is
only every other day you want new
hat"
By stepping out hastily and holding
the door shut, he N lnsged to e-cape
merited punishmen,.-Te1Gs STtings.
SAD STORY
| Papa, said she as the old man sank
into An easy chair after q hard days
work at his Office, 81 noticed in the
evening paper that seslskin sacques are
advancing in price,
SO they are, nay dear; 90 they are"
sand you know you promised to buy
me one this WINTER
81 know I did," he replied, sand !
will keep my word. Bus with the in
creased price snd the scarcity of money
/ expect it will cramp me somewhat"
s'I was thin king" his daughter then
said, as she clasped q pair Of soft white
arms about his mack, ''ifit would not be
better to wait until next winter. My old
cloak will do very well, and perhfp!
sealskin sscsues will be cheaper then"
Ths old man groaned in anguish o
spirit and murmured to himself, MY
worst fears are realized"
In the morning the young woman wa
tenderly staken to an insane asylum
where it is believed that with proper care
she may ultimately recover her reason
philadelphia Call.
4 WOMAN CAN CLIMB!
A fair correspondent takes exception tC
an article published in this department
some time ago, and writes:
WOODLAND, Summit Co., Utah.
Editors Herald.
In an article telling what women csr
do published in your paper short time
ago, it was asserted that che "csnno
climb tree" Alas for the ignorance o
the writer! We beg to disagree with him
Women can climb trees, and we do MOI
assert what we do not know. We have
known numerous instances of that fac
being accomplished by members of th'
rentler sex. One instance in particular
is fresh in our minds, where two ladies o
our acquaintance each do med pair o
unmentionables and elm bed pine ire,
forty feet high, and we beg to state tina
said ladies were bright, intelligen
women, refined and educated. Oh, yes
! women can climb trees. Not all, o
' course, for we once heard of ccmmun
ity that was deprived Of a ''school marm'
because some one said that the women o
the place could climb trees. For fes
soma Of our readers may think as TIT
"school marin" did, that tree climbing
is disrepataole we will venture tn,
,opinion that the woman who can climb
q tree is possessed of spirit, pluck, and I
clear, we'll balanced train; and would bi
equal to letting her children down from
third story window OF burning house
AND then following herself without think
ing Of fainting until after it was over.
Yes. woman can climb tree. and d.
it we'll, too. FRED.