Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-03-21
The Bad Boys Account Of n Nights
Adventures.

| ht Duu Ivy % ANSVuhe VI A'se"s :"
Adventures.
81 was down to the drug store this
morning and saw your ma buying a
lot of court plaster-enough to make
a shirt | should think. What's she
doing with the court plaster'" asked
the grocery man.
ooh, guess she is going to patch
pa up so he will hold water. Pas
temper got him into the worst muss
you ever see, last"
"Good heaven" said the grocery
man, as the boy swallowed the cider
and his face its natural look, and the
piratical frown disappeared with the
cider "You have not stabbed your
father, have your"
"Naw, | haven't stabbed him. You
see, pa wants me to dc all the work
around the house. The other day he
bought load of kindling wood, and
told me to carry it into the basement.
When supper time came and pa found
that / had not carried in the kindling
wood, he had hot box, and he told
me if that wood was not in when he
came back from the lodge he would
warm my jacket. Well, | tried to
hire some one to carry it in, and got
man to promise to come in the
morning and carry it in and take his
pay in groceries, and was going to
buy the groceries here and have them
charged to pa. But that wouldn't
help me out that night. | knew when
pa came home he would search for
me, so | slept in the back hall on a
cot. But | didn't want pa to have all
his trouble for nothing, so | borrowed
an old tom cat that my chum's old
maid aunt owns, and put the cat in
my bed. l thought if pa came in my
room after me, and found that by his
unkindness had changed to a tom
cat he would be sorry. That is the
biggest cat you ever see and the
worst fighter in our ward. 1t isn't
afraid of anything, and can whip a
Newfoundland dog quicker than you
can put sand in a barrel of sugar.
Well, about II o'clock heard pa
tumble over the kindling wood, and
| knew by the remark he made, as
the wood slid around him, that there
was going to be cat fight real quick.
He come up TO mas room, and sound
ed ma as to whether Hennery had re-
tired to his virtuous couch. Pa is
awfully sarcastic when he tries to be.
l could hear him say, as he picked up
trunk strap, Il guess / will 60 up to
his room and watch the smile on his
face as he dreams of angels. | yearn
to press him to my aching BOSOM. l
thought to myself, mebbe you won't
yearn so much directly. He came up
stairs and | could hear him breathing
hard. | looked around the corner
and could see he just had on his shirt
and pants, and his bald head shone
like a calcium light just before it ex-
plodes. Pa went in my room and |
could hear him say, Come out here
and bring in that kindling wood
And then there was yowling such as
| never heard before, and pa said.
Helen Blazes,' and the furniture in
my room began to fall round and
break. Oh, my think pa took the
tom cat right by the neck, the way he
does me, and that left all the cats
feet free to get in their work. ! sup
pose the cat thought pa was whole
flock of Newfoundland dogs, and the
cat had record on dogs, and it kick
ed awful. Pas shirt was no protec-
ton at all in a cat fight and the cat
just walked all around pas stomach,
and pa yelled police and fire and
turn on the hose and he called ma
and the cat yowled. If pa had pres
ence of mind enough to have dropped
the cat or rolled it up in the mattress
it would have been all right, but a
man always gets ratified in time of
danger, and he held on to the cat and
started down stairs yelling murder,
and stumbled on a handsled that was
on the stairs, and the cat got away
and went down in the coal bin and
yoYled all night. / went and got
into my bed cause it was cold out in
the hall, and the cat had warmed my
bed rs well as it had warmed pa.
This morning l came down the back
stairs, and haven't been to breakfast,
cause / don't want to see pa when he
is vexcd. | have passed the kindling
wood period in a boys life and have
arrived at the coal period. will
carry in coal>but / draw the line at
kindling wood."-Peck's Sun.
uoxx tho March 0f Civilization Thwa ri.