davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic., 1883-03-13

THE organ this morning ridicules the
Equal-Rights movement in Rhode Island.
This is a very unseemly thing for Re-
publican paper to do. Every Republican
believes in equal rights as to voting when
it comes to the South, and stands up and
howls vigorously whenever re-
port comes from that region that
Democrat has been elected
to Office in hitherto Republican county
or district. There is nothing in the South
worse than the disfranchisement of thou
sands Of voters in Rhode Island and Massa-
chussetts because they have not this or
that qualification which wealth and for
time give. And this disgraceful
and undemocratic state of things
finds its support in the Republican
party and its champion in the Administra-
tion organ of that party Is it any won
der, in the light of these facts, that there is
a growing class of voters, who have
hitherto cast Republican ballots, who fear
that the great Republican party has become
party ofhypocrisy and pretension rather
than ofprincipls and performance as in its
oarlief and nobler daysf
The Evening critic., 1883-03-13

David Davis, If not a trim fighter, is of n
pugnacious disposition. 1t is said that a
few days before he resigned the Vice-Presi-
dency pro tempore of the Senate he was
approached by an iron-cheeked newspaper
correspondent who sought to interview
him upon some Of his domestic or private
matters. He refused to be interviewed !;
but the interviewer persisted, until Uncle
David took him by the coat-collar, and
hauling him up to window, said:
Now, you cease talking and leave this
room, or I'll throw you out of this window
and break you in two"
The newspaper man subsided aud de-
parted.
The Evening critic., 1883-03-13

In all portions of Florida the orange
is blooming luxuriantly. heavy crop is pre-
dicted,
The Evening critic., 1883-03-13

There are some people who cannot be
made to believe that there is such a being
as virtuous Congressman-yes, real
genuine up and up Congressman. There is
one, however, and he halls from the great
State of New York and his name is John
Van Voorhis.
Several weeks ago a prominent New
York city politician came down to Wash
ington for q Federal appointment. The
Congressman referred to was an enemy of
this party, and he resolved to put in %
word against him at the White House
and to bring whatever influence to bear to
beat him. He sent for n distinguished
Stalwart statesman whom he knew stood
well at the White House, and whom he be-
lieved would help him defeat the candidate
for Office. Upon the arrival of the Stalwart
from New York the Congressman said to
him in effect:
Now, Mr.. - is after an appointment,
and we must defeat him. He is bad man.
He plays poker and drinks liquor, and /
want you to go to President Arthur and
tell him not to appoint him to otiice.'
Great Cesar, mani" said the Stalwart
you must hunt up better charges than
those. They won't hold water with Ar
thur. Hasn't the man, at some stage of
his life, committed arson or highway rob
berry? Why, if 1 were to tell Arthur about
this man being addicted to the heinous of
fense Of playing poker he would laugh in
his sleeves and think of the good old days
we used to sit at the green baize table aud
buck agin' each other Chet while it is
not generally known, is one of
the most accomplished poker players
in America. Yes, he is possessed
Of many of the willy tricks of
John Chinaman, such as hiding cards up
l.. ,l - n.xI, y
scooped me in, as well as several of tho old
crowd, at a game in New York.
mo, my friend" continued the Stalwart,
'you can't make Arthur believe that q
man is bad man because he plays poker.
He knows how it is himself"
The Evening critic., 1883-03-13

Doctor b. tells good joke on himself,
which may, to certain extent, serve as q
warning to others. He says that few
mornings ago, while sitting at the break fast
table, friend of his, who is or passes for q
prominent journalist, came rushing in
almost breathless and said to him.
"Doc, l have just received a telegram
from gentleman in New York with whom,
as you know, have business relations, and
/ must go there this morning, and l am a
little short ssPlease cash my check for $50 ?"
The Doctor examined his pocket
book and found he was short and
said TO his friend that the best he could
do for him would be to exchange checks
with him, never supposing for moment
that his offer would be accepted, but it
was whereupon he drew his check on his
banking-house for $50, handed it to his
friend, who in return handed to him his
check for $50 on the same bank. The
doctor said to HIM
"Why, if you have money in this bank,
why all this trouble?'
His reply was about this:
We'll, you see it is too early to get into
the bank you seeY'
YES replied the Doctor "but YOU
can get your check cashed at the depot or
one of the hotels just as readily as you can
NINE"
"Oh no, mo- You see, Doctor, you are
not known at the Capital quite as well a,
am yet. l can cash your check anywhere
where they have the money" and out he
went.
In about two hours the Doctor says he
received a note from him to the effect that
he had missed the train by few moments,
but not to present the check given him for
day or two. The Doctor has the check
yet but this is a new scheme to him, and
he is out $50 to learn it and, as the jour
nalist is pretty clever fellow, he will fix
it one of these days lin his mind).
The Evening critic., 1883-03-13

WALL Papers. Wtndow-Shades,
cornices, pcture'frames, BE-; also n beautiful
line OF Faster cards, at veerhoff's 0lG sew
enth street.
The Evening critic., 1883-03-13
South Washington Advertisements

II you want the best quality OF Coal and Wood
at bottom prices and 2iO lbs to to the ton, go to
wNT- FL BAUM,
COR. SEVENTH AND B SITS. s. W.
Carts run to all party of the city promptly.
The Evening critic., 1883-03-13

An Ohio man was met on the highway
by the Critic, and he seemed to be not only
in great distress, but in a great hurry to
get to the train bound for the West. The
Critic asked him what might be the trouble
with him and why he was in such hurry.
lie said he had Just received dispatch
from his home which brought lad news.
What is it ?'' asked the Critic.
My brother committed suicide yester-
day"
What was the trouble?r
$ He owed seventy-fve cents and could
not pay it,"
well, you are to be pitied for having
brother who bad no more business capacity
than to be able to get in debt only seventy
five cents"
TO this the Ohioan acquieseed, changed
his mind, and said he would not 90 on, but
remain and prosecute his fight for an office.
On Senator Beck, anyway" said alob-
byist yesterday. 81 had a little turn all
fixed up by which was to receive 81 900
from the whisky ring with which to
handle a newspapers or two. The
money was ready TO be turned over, but the
id fool in charge ofthe matter thought he
ought to speak TO Senator Beck about it.
Senator Beck kicked and lost my Doodle.
He is too id close for any use, Beck Is"
-:o.-
An East Washington maA says he hopes
the assessors to be appointed TO make new
The Evening critic., 1883-03-13

An East Washington maH says he hopes
the assessors to be appointed TO make new
The Evening critic., 1883-03-13
AKUSEMEAI2


NATIoNAL THEATRE.
One Week. beginning Monday, March f2 the
Greatest Living Tragedienne.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01
GRECIAN WOMEN.

The condition of women during
the Homeric Period was compara-
lively elevated. But after the change
to democracy we almost lose sight
of them, until we are ready to be-
lieve the Greeks had some other
method of continuing their race, and
that the Greek nation were tue real
Phoenix which they claimed to be.
springing from the ground, ready
made. Women We're kept in the Mt
most seclusion. The best woman"
says Thucydides, ''is she of whom
least is said, either in the way of
good or harm" Tragic theater pro-
claimed silence to be the greatest
ornament of woman. Thy wife
abroad cried the comic theater, lis
death aud furies! What does she
from bome?' The owl, Il muzzle,
and "a pair of reins were tie ittest
emblems on sepulcher of the ac-
compl shed housewife. Owl emblem
of her watchfuiness. muzzle of her
silence, and reins of the skill with
which she managed her servants.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01
THE MAKE UP OF THE BODY.

Supposing your age to be fifteen
or thereabouts, L can figure you to a
dot. You have 160 bones and mus
cles; your blood weighs rs pounds;
your heart is five inches in length
and three inches in diameter; it beats
20 times in a minute, 4,200 times per
hour, 100,S00 per day, and 36,792,0 600
per year. At each beat a little over
two ounces of blood is thrown ont of
it, and each day it receives and dis
charges about seven tons of that
wonderful fluid. Your lungs will
contain a gallon of air,and you in
hale $4,000 per day. The aggregate
surface of the air cells of your lungs,
supposing them to be spread out. ex-
ceeds 10000 square inches.
The weight of your brain is three
pounds; when you are a man it will
weigh eight ounces more. Your
nerves exceed 100000 in number.
Your skin is composed of three lay
ers, and varies in thickness. The
area of your skin is about LOO
square inches, and you are subject
to an atmospheric pressure OF fifteen
pounds to the square inch. Each
square inch of your skin contains
$500 sweating tubes or perspiratory
pores, each of which may be likened
to little drain tile, one-fourth of an
inch loug, making an aggregate
length of the entire surface of yonr
body of drain or tile ditch for
draining the body of 23s miles long.
SUSIE NJ SANTINA.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01
A SUMMER IDYL.

See the frog, the Shiny, green frog,
Doing away on tha. OLD rotten log;
Seriously wondering
What caused the sundering
Of the tail that he wore when wee polly
wOg.
See the boy, the freckled school-boy,
Famed for cussedness, free from alloy,
Watching the frog
Perched on the log
With feelings akin to tumultuous joy.
See the rock, the hard. fiinty rock,
Which the freckled-faced boy ut the frog
doth sock,
Conscious he's SHINING,
Yet gleefuly grinning
At the likely result of its terrible shock.
See the grass, the treacherous grass,
Slip from heneath his feet! Alas!
Into the mud
With Il dull thud
He falls, and rises a Shiny mass.
Now. see the frog, the hilarious frog,
Dancing Jig Oh his old rotten log,
Applying his toes
To his broad, blunt nose.
As he laughs at the boy stuck fast in the bog.
Look at the switch, the hickory switch,
Waiting to make that school-boy twitch.
When his mother knows
The state cf his clothes
Won't he raise his voice to its highest pitch
Well, should smile-a snickering smile,
His anguish will circulate ever mile;
And the next Shiny frog
He perceives on log
Will be given rest i'll magnificent style.
-TDonald Pullman, in Courier-J ournal
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01
ANACORTES, w. T, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER l. 1888
LONDON NEWSPAPER CARTS.

A newspaper cart is light affair
on two wheels-naturally a cart can
not be upon four-with one reckless
driver and man to deal out papers,
They rush along with all the head
long speed of the American butcher
cart, and the rivalry among them is
something lively. OF course the first
paper on the ground is the ono that
gets the cream of the trade. Prob
ably the handsomest carts are those
of the Globe and the Pail Mall Ga
zette. The former has a raised hem.
isphere on each side, typical of the
name; the latter's carts are oak col
ored, with the title of the paper on
each side and on the ends. The Echo
carts are ugly and very serviceable
Just before an edition comes out
these carts can be seen in row be-
fore their respective printing offices,
each paper having about a dozen
When the edition is published the
carts are filled in a twinkllng with
paper in quires--twenty six to the
quire-and small bundles wrapped
mp in contents bills. The latest con-
tents bills are pasted on the backs of
the carts and away they all go as
speedily as il one CT Arabs bombs
fell among them. They dash through
London streets with the rolicky reck
lessness of a fire engine and soon
scatter to all points of the compass.
The bundles are flung in at the doors
of the news agents as the carts hurry
by without stopping. At the street
corners they pause and the news
bows gather around, handing in all
the former editions that are unsold,
together with cash for as many more
as they wish to buy. The papers are
dealt with great CELEBRITY by ,he man
in the cart, who has trick of hold
ing the sheets III a peculiar way in
his left hand, while he runs his right
across the edges ii us exposed, count
ing them accurately with the speed
of lightnipg. The amount of cash,
generally rendered in pennies, seems
to be almost instinctiyely got at by
netting them in his hand The
round has to be made within Ger
tdlh tlint, anu tut Cul 10 nave W Dt
back before the next edition is due,
and the cash and returns handed in
before another lot is brought out.
On the last round they collect the
cash and the returned papers from
the news agents.
The evening papers here are hard
ly as honest in the matter of num-
bering their editions as their Ameri-
can contemporaries. No London
evening paper numbers ali edition as
first" for instance, the Echo's first
edition is called the second, and is
issued at ! o'clock. The next edition
they call the fourth, and is issued at
2:20. The fifth edition, which is real
ly the third, comes out at 4:20; the
special edition at 8, and the extra
special at Z. Some of the evening
papers begin business with a third
edition, which the unsuspecting
Britisher buys Under the imp ession
that he is getting something very
late indeed London Cor. Detroit
Free Press.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01

80, Mary, you are going to leave
mo to take service with Mrs. DE
Vere?'
"Yes, ma'am. but you see she pays
me more wages"
Il suppose 80, and suppose your
mind is made up to so. Mary, l
want to make you present before
you 60"
"Please don't ma'am."
"Why, what do you meant"
II mean. ma'am, that Mrs. De We're
will want to know the cost of your
parlor curtains, the number OF your
servants and the name OF your dress
maker"
"And suppose she does?"
"Why, l II have to tell her, and as
much more as I can think Of. It's
my failing, an6 if you give me your
old black silk not to tell, and she gives
me a new ST hat to pump out all l
know, foel that I shall lean towards
the hat"
Mary is allowed to go, and Mrs.
Erastus thanks her stars that the
girl never knew that her diamonds
were paste or the furniture mortgaged
Il Wall Street News.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01

He had just returned from his
wedding trip, aud was going down.
town in q horse car with his bride.
who, in all the pride of her new gar
ments and her new husband. was dis
posed to look down on humanity
generally, and on a poor old man in
particular who sat opposite. Who
is that dreadful looking creature,
Horatio?' she said. I'm sure I
don't know" replied the apple of her
eye, with slight blush and stammer;
''some tramp, 1 suppose, who has
begged his passage. Just then the
aged person alluded to awoke from
his reverie, and. adjusting his specta-
cles, quavered: "Why. bless me, if
that isn't my grandson. Horatio! and
that must be his wife! Don't color up
so, boy; she's right pretty girl, and
you have no cause to be ashamed OF
her" There was an audible smile in
that vehicle, which the happy pair
did not stop to hear the last Of.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01

what makes you drink as you
90" exclaimed Mrs. Higgleton, turn
ing TO her husband who steadied
himself against the door and sur
veyed his wife.
"Huhv'
Il asked what makes yon drink as
you do, that's what 1 said. I'm not
going to stay here. that's what I'm
not going to do"
What makes me drink aa I do."
ne repeated with an idiotic chuckle.
Drink as l do. cause there amt no
other way to drink. How do you ex-
Pect man to drink, anyhowW- Ar.
kansaw Traveller.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01

Johnny, what are you doing up
stairs" said Johnny's ma. "Oh,
nothin' much, ma" "But, sir, / want
to know" "Oh, we'll then, I'm
skinnin' freckle to see what she
looks like inside"
THE THREE STAGES.
When William called to see his girl,
Which he, of course, thought proper,
He often popped the corn with her,
And thus became pepper.
And long before the winter passed,
Although he'd scarce a copper,
He asked her if she'd be his wife
He still remained pepper.
Five years have passed since they were wed
By good old parson Hopper;
And now he has two bouncing boys
Who always call him papa"
/ There is evidently a colored hook
and ladder company in Austin. The
ladder is used to climb up into the
trees where the chickens roost, after
which the chickens are hooked in the
good old way that we used to practice
during the war. The ladder part of
the paragraph should have been
omitted.
Little Johnny had been to church
and heard very obese parson. On
the way home he remarked: "What
an orful stomach that preacher had.
Didn't seem right. though, for him
to get off that cke." "What joke!"
inter posed his father. "Why, don't
yor knows" returned Johnny.
"Where he put his hands on the part
where his vest stuck out and said,
Man wants but little here below"
The water back of Chicago range
exploded the other day with such ter
rifle force that the neighbors couldn't
be convinced that the noise wasn't
occasioned by a free fight between
husband and wife, in which they
slammed the chairs around.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01

Mr.. Ernest Longfellow. the poets
son. has made 2 selection of twenty
OF his fathers poems, which he will
illustrate. The subjects are mostle
landscapes, aud the pictures will by
made Of the scenes themselves.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.

DERSONS IN NEED OF LEGAL BLANKS,
i such as Chattel Mortgages. Quit-Claims and
Warranty Deeds etc., would do well to make ap-
plication at this Office. where they can be OBJ
tained at reasonable prices. Blanks printed to
order on short notice
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01

Two couples in Kansas enteredinto
courting match for the champion
ship of the State. and the victorious
couple sat up forty-nine hours.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01

DR.. W. II. RUSSELL the doyen of
war correspondents, represented the
Daily Telegraph at the coronation Of
the Czar. q. A. Sala did not on this
occasion make a tourney due north"
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01

~ seems to me-" said quiet old
gentleman, that this whisk y bust
ness makes a great deal OF noise for
still business"
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01
JAMES A. GILLIAND,

BY arrangements with reliable land attorne
in Olympia and Washington, d. c., my custo-
mers can have their land business attended to
the same as If personally present at either place.
Parties wishing to purchase or locate Land
Scrip. would do well to consult me.
eH-All latest Land Laws, Rules and Decisions
kept on file. Land Warrants bought and sold.
Conveyancing, taxes paid, purchases and sales
made. Collections made and proceeds prompt:
ly remitted. 17tf
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01

The British Government says it does not
intend to enforce quarantine against vessels
coming from the Lvant.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01

NOPAINS WILL BE SPARED IN KEEP.
x\ ing up the we'll established reputation of
the house as one of the quietest and best kept
hotels in the Territory. No. LIQUORS SOLD.
everything clean and neat about the premises.
special efforts will be made to keep the table
supplied with the bsst the market can afford
and to see he food is properly cooked and
served second to no other house in the Terri
tory. A. Large reading room for the accomo-
dation of guests.
10 I'm McGLINN.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01

"Boy." said uncle Abe. ''you am
rwine out inter de worl for Yer sef,
wild fair edication an a good stout
par of hans. No doubt eff yer NAM
my he'd consulted yer wishes, yer'd
been bohn a millionaire, but she
didn't do hit. so yer'd be bliged ter
develope inter what am termed a sef
made man, an eff yo amt mighty
carful yo'se gwine ter make poor
job oh hit. Any time yer wants ad
vice, ask it freely. but doan write fer
money. fer / shall nebber get de let
ter. Remember yer mammy's teach
in's, ah' above all things, drap. an
keep outen evil s'ciety, al you'll kim
outen de top oh de heap. Yo've got
Jess two minutes ter catch dat train
let punctuality be your motto. Run
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-09-01
sVBsCRiPTlON RATES.
I'm all cases invariably in advance ,
legal ADVERTISING RATES:

one Square (l2 lines), first insertion......S 90
Each subsequent insertion. 0u
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1883-07-26
A Devils Den Full of Mysteries.

Five miles west of Great harrington
is the little township of Afford, whose
inhabitants are engaged entirely in farm
ing. A reliable gentleman from there
states that while an old farmer was out
hunting blacksnakes Sunday he made
the discovery of wonderful cave in a
limestone ledge. The cave has been
christened DEVILS den. Since its dis
covery parties have been endeavoring
to explore it with lighted torches. They
could only go in few rods when, owing
to the poisonous gases, the torches be-
gan to burn dimly, and in one case.
where a man ventured too far ahead of
his companions, he was rescued with
difficulty. So far as known the cave is
large, with rooms and passages, and it
Is thought that by making the mouth
larger the gases will escape and the cave
can be explored with safety. A sound
as of running water indicates small
river or spring in it, and it is thought
that n stream from the well-known Fry
ing Pan spring on the other side oppos-
lite there, lost under ground, runs int
it, Boston Globe.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1883-07-26
An Extraordinary Case,

The most extraordinary and interest
ing subject before Vienna clinic for
many years was that of little girl liv-
ing in the city, Klemmuller by name,
and Is months old. The Vienna Neue
Freie PreSSe reports the case with such
evident fidelity that its truth must be ac-
cepted. The girl had shown for sever
al days an utter aversion to food, anu
her mother finally took her to the gen.
eral clinic for examination. The pro-
fessors, perceiving that it was no COM
mon disorder and ascertaining from the
mother that the child on the night of
March IS had awaked suddenly with a
loud scream from sleep, and continued
in great pain for fourteen hours there
after, determined to employ the CASTRO
scope and explore her stomach with the
aid of electricity. Not to enter into
rather unpleasant details, they soon found
the cause of the disturbance, and ex-
tracted a mouse, minus a tail, which
was subsequently removed. The only
possible conclusion is that the mouse
ran into the open mouth of the sleeping
child, and down her gullet. Her i'm
mediate recovery was confidently ex-
pected.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1883-07-26
Where the Word Dude Game From

The just now popular word dude,
meaning an empty-headed, languid-
hammered young swell who bangs his
hair, proves to be no foreign importa-
ton, but, like many another expressive
term, to be of good New England pa
rentage. The word pronounced in two
syllables) has been used in the little
Town of Salem, N. H., ortwenty years
past and, it is claimed, was coined there.
1t is common there to speak of a dapper
young man as ''dude of a fellow" of
a small animal as "a little dude" of a
sweetheart as ''my dude and of an
aesthetic youth Of the Wilde type as a
dude. But how the word attained so
sudden and widespread notoriety puz-
zles Salem. Its revival at New York is
credited to adisgusted Englishman, who
remarked, after visiting q rich club,
that the young men were ell "dudes."