davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-02-07

BILL NYE'S RECIPES.

To remove oils, varnishes resins, tar,
oyster soup, curraut jelly and other selee-.
lions from the bill of fare, use benzine, soap
and chloroform cautiously with whitewash-
brush and garden-hose Then hang on the
wood-pile to remove the pungent effiuyia of
the benzine. To clean ceilings that have
been smeared by kerosene lamps or the fra.
GRANGE from fried salt pork, remove the
ceiling, wash thoroughly with borax, tur-
pentine and rain-water, then hang on the
,lothes-line TO dry. After, palverize and
ipread over the pie-plant bed for spring
wear. To remove starch and roughness
from fiat-irons, hold the iron on large
grindstone for twenty moments or 80, then
wipe off carefully with rag. To make
this effective the griudstone should be in
motion while the iron is applied. Should
the iron still stick to the goods when in use,
spit on IT, To soften water for household
purposes, put in an ounce of quick-lime in
certain quantity of water. II it is not suffi-
cient. use less water or more quick lime.
Should the immediate lime continue TO re-
main deliberate, lay the water down on
stone and pound it with u baseball club.
To give relief to burn apply the white of
al egg. The yolk of the egg may be eaten
,r placed on the shirt bosom, according to
The taste of the person. If the burn should
occur on lady she may omit tho last in
struetion. TO wash black silk stockings
prepare n tub of lather composed of tepid
raip-water and white soap, with little am.
monia. Then stand in the tub till dinner is
ready. Roll in a cloth to dry. Do not
wiring, but press tho water out This will
necesstate the removal of the stockings. II
your hands are badly chapped wet them in
warm water, rub them all over with Indian
meal, then put ON coat of glycerne, and
keep them in your pockets for ten days. If
you have no pockets convenient, insert them
in the pocket of friend Wooden goods
may be nicely washed If you put half an OK.
gall into two gallons of tepid water. 1t
night be good to put the goods in the water
also. II the mixture is not strong enough,
put in another oy-gall Should this fail to
do the work. pnt in the entire OK, reserying
the tail for soup. Tho oX-gall is compare.
lively useless for soup, and should not be
preserved as an article of diet Laramie
Boomerang.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-02-07
FIRST THINGS.
Information In Paragraphs Concerning III.
ventiOns and Discoveries.

Ar@sthesia was discovered in 1874.
The first steel plato was made In 1880.
The first lucifer match was made in 1929.
Tho first iron steamship was built in
1880.
The first balloon ascent was made in
1893.
Tho entire Hebrew Bible was printed in
1888.
Slips were first "copper" bottomed" in
1888.
Coaches were first used in England in
1868.
GUld was first discovered in California IN
l8fS.
The first steamboat piled the Hudson il
1907.
The first horse railroad was built in 1896.
The first watches were made Mt Nnrem.
ours in 1477.
The first use Of a locomotive In this coun-
Try was in 1929.
omnibuses were first introduced in Now
7ork in 1885,
kerosene was hrst used for lighting pur-
T. 1es in 1926
The first copper cent was coined in New
Haven in 1857
The first telescope was probably used in
England in 1908.
The first sawmakers anvil was brought to
America in 1919.
The first almanac was printed by George
Voh Furbach In AGO.
The first printing press in tho United
States was introduced in 1920.
The first chimneys ware introduced into
Rome from Padua in 1868.
The first steam engine on this continent
was brought from England in 175a.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-02-07
A DOCTORS SUBSTITUTE.

lie was young man with wild. disor.
dered look He rushed into the Office of O
prominent city physician yesterday, placed a
small cup on the desk, took off his coat and
barred his right arm and whispered, "Stich
mel"
DO you want TO be bled !"
81 dol Open a vein and let me catch the
blood in this cupl"
"Too full in the head !"
"Alasl too full in the heart My Aft
anced will not believe me when tell her
that love her better than my life. / will
write my love. ! will write It in my own
blood. Proceed
. Is that all you want ?"
"All? Is not that sufficient ?"
Young man, yen are dodo. Put on
your coat. keep red ink here for the
very purpose You desire, and will sell you
n whole gill for quarter"
And the young man was not stuck. - Do
tr0it Free Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-02-07
WHEN TO GET MARRIED.

Among the perplexing conundrums which
tome to the Times is one from a young man
who wants to know when he had better get
married He says he is without fortune and
has very small income. He really doesn't
lallK as if he ought to get married at all
He doesn't seem TO have made the first pre-.
paration lie has a little better sense. how.
ever, than the average of young men of his
class, because he seeks advice before he
rushes into marriage Tho most of them
wait until it is too late and then wish they
had done something else.
There used to be an old-fashioned notion
hat young man should not think of mar
cying until he could provide proper home
FOR his wife, and girls were hard to find who
we're willing to marry without such provis.
ion. All that sort of bother is now dis.
pensed with Girls don't trouble them.
selves about home it is the nice, perfectly
lovely young man they want, md no worry.
ing thought of anything else dsturbs them
till after marriage Sooner or later they
realize how much better little patience and
discretion would have been.
Many young women of real refinement,
possessing something of an education and
with many social graces, are whirled away
to ordinary boarding houses within month
of their marriage This is great misfor-
tune to any girl. The life of boarding
house is well calculated to unfit young
woman for those domestic and social duties
which every man has a right to expect of
his wife it will almost inevitably destroy
her homo accomplishments 1t requires the
strongest character and severest training to
escape such decentralization, and few young
women escape.
No young man can afford in this way to
spoil girl whom he expects to make him
happy through life. No one who sincerely
loves and has the ability essential to the pro-
lection and support of wife will think of
doing young woman such wrong. If a
ulan does not so love and has not that abil-
ity he has no right to get married His
time has not come. All cannot live in pala-
ces, but no young man can take Young
woman from the refnements and comforts
of home to the terrors Of q common board
ing house and then expect her to make him
a good WIFE He has taken the most direct
measures to spoil her, even though she re
an angel Philadelphia Times
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-02-07
NEW USE FOR POTATOES.
How Pipes and Billiard Balls Are NInsis
From the Vegetable.

According to the Vienna Agricultural III.
settc, it has recently been discovered thai
meerschaum pipes of excellent quality, sus-
ceptible of the highest polish, and even
moro readily colorado than the genuine
sTHRa al mare, may be made of potatoes.
The familiar tuber, il seems, is well qualified
to compete with the substance known to
commerce as meerschaum clay" Its la
tent virtues in this direction are developed
by the following treatment: Having been
carefully peeled and suffered extraction of
its "eyes," the potato is boiled unintermit.
tently for thirty-six hours in mixture of
sulphuric acid and water, after which il mast
be squeezed in press until every drop of
natural or acquired moisture is extracted
from it. The residuum of this simple pro-
cess is hard block OF n delicate creamy
white hue, every whit rs suitable to tho
manufacture of ornamental aud artistiealy
executed pipe head as the finest clay. Tho
potato, moreover, dealt with in the manner
above described, promises to prove formid-
able rival to the elephants tusl II may be
converted into billiard balls as hard, smooth
and enduring rs ivory, and can be depended
upon for nm inexhaustible supply of carved
umbrella handles, chessmen and fans As
potatoes are plentiful all over the world, and
likely to remain so, while elephants are,
comparatively speaking, rarities, mankind at
large may fairly be congratulated upon the
discovery of substitute for ivory, which
can be produced in unlimited quantity, and
at almost nominal cost, taking into consider
alton the difference of price between pound
of the best kidney potatoes and pound OF
prime elephants tusk.-Londoa Duty Tele
sgaiM
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-02-07
SENSIBLE HORSE TALK.
What nm Ardent Lover of tho Turf Thinlsa
of the Improvement In Trotters.

James Grant, of Davenport, Iowa, one Of
the most celebrated Us well rs one of the
most successful lawyers OF the West, Is In
the city. He is president of the National
Trotting Association, which controls over
two hundred tracks. A reporter had an In
ieresting chat with him last night. Mr..
Grant, who is 70 years old, said; "The
breed and use of trotting horses in the past
ten years has increased a thousand-fold.
You may travel through the country any
where and find farmers boys training the
trotters. The boys are on the alert for good
stock and If they find horse to be good
trotter they seek every opportunity to put
him in training. By and by there ia q
county fair. The BOY enters the horse aud
he trots off with premium and hrst-class
record. Why sir, the breeding of trottina
horses has become a great industry, bring.
ing to Kentucky, Ohio and other States hun.
lreds of thousands of dollars annually"
"What do you think of the fictitious val
ues placed upon trotting horses ?"
"The value of trotting horses has quad
mpled within the past ten years, because Of
their superior breed ard training"
"What is your observation rs to the in
crease of speed and the methods of training
compared with that of years past ?" 81
al have observed very closely, but kept
no special data. l have witnessed the
change from $40 to 2.104. This is the
fastest time on record, made by Maud s.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-02-07
SHOPPING IN CALCUTTA.
Peculiar CastSms of InAia--fHow the Hindu
Obtains His Goods.


As soon as your carriage has cleared the
block which is sure to obstruct your way on
entrance, and you have turned into the lane
where the bazaar commences in right earn.
est, You are invaded by hosts of lanky, bare
legged, dirty. jacketed, unprosperous beings,
whose cries rend the atmosphere, whose
gesticulations bewilder You They surround
and run alongside of your vehicle or, if you
are on foot, they make ring around you.
One would hold photograph to your eyes,
another would thrust a bundle of cheroots
almost into your mouth, another would press
bottle of perfumery close to your nose,
and another would light lucifer match I'M
der your chin. They howl, aecost, insist,
gesticulate, pun, push, jostle and hustle you
into shop. Thus many quiet harmless
people from the Molussill arc worried out OF
their wits and made easy victims On spec
ial occasions Of unusual press and traffic like
the Hcli Of Durgappuiah, downright rob
berries take place in the streets in broad day
light. Going inside the She I, the real work
Of haggiing and fleeing commences. Four
times the prices are asked Of you, bad and
damaged articles are sometimes attempted
to be palmed off upon yor, and unless you
are well experienced and wide awake you
are sure to be done out of your money.
Nor is this the worst Customers are abused
aud ill-treated Some classes of shop keep.
ers are more rude and INSCRIPTIONS than
others, and some baEaars have worse rep
ufafton than nfl,aro T., fhte ,.ac,.act tlrn,ee
as rule shoemakers and vendors OF shoes,
not Cinnamon, but Mahomedans. are the
greatest offenders And the shoe vendors
of Chandney Bazaars have widespread no.
toriety. Not to speak of our own expe
riences, we have seen even halted and trous-
cred people treated with saant courtesy.
After You have once entered the shop You
arc considered very much like the shop
keepers property. You must accept his
prices, you must not bargain, you must not
/ find fault with the articles IL you have any
fear of ill-treatment. Some people, we
might say almost every new purchaser who
| goes to the bazaar for the first time feels
impatient under these circumstances. He
utters an angry word or protest against the
prices or wants to go away. Then comes
the tug of war. He is abused, held by the
hand and detained, or Il he ventures TO re-
sist, he is assaulted, sometimes severely. In
this reckless and lawless course these shoe
makers have persisted so long that their
community has come to hold such conduct
as q sort of commercial privilege WE'LL
known observance, departure from which
Is likely to be injurious to trade. They all
combine in asking the same prices. They
have signs and signals how to treat cust0.
mer. And they always fght together.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-02-07
HEART AND PURSE OF GOLD.
frac Enough 10 His First Love 10 Give Her
the Earnings Of IA Lifetime.

Thirty-six years ago there lived in that
pleasant little town down the river called
Sorel-very little it was then--a youth and a
maiden. The name of the youth was
George Beaupre, the name Of the maiden
Mary Ann Pearce. They belonged to fami-
lies Of moderate circumstances He, with
the strength and devotion of honest young
manhood, loved this maiden, and wooed her
with that earnestness which only such a
lover can. He was given every encourage
ment was, some say, actually accepted
was congratulating himself at least, on the
smooth coursing of true love, when sudden
ly rival appeared and everything for him
turned black. The rival was one Jacob
Savage, of the same town. Pretty soon she
and Savage were married and settled down
in the place, and then Young Beaupres
hope died out. He tried to work on as be-
fore, but could not Flo closed up bis bust
oess, settled up his affairs and started to the
far West, toward which so many adventur.
Gus spirits were about that time shaping
their course
From that day to within n few weeks ago
he had not set foot in this part of Canada.
He had worked hard, saved carefully, pros
pered and laid up property worth at least
$500, 600. He had never married. He was
getting up toward sixty years of ago. Sew
eral weeks ago he took an idea TO come back
once more to see his friends and he started
East. He searched ont relatives in Sorel
and Montreal but found few that he remem-
bered. BE inquired for the woman who, as
a-girl, had so many years before thrown him
overheard for rival. They told him she
was widowed her husband had been desd
many years; she had been living several
years in Montreal went to call upon her,
met her and then He found her get
ting old, in poor eirru stances, with several
children, but that made no difference; he
saw only the girl of thirty-six years before.
On Saturda, they were manied. - Montreal
Star.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-02-07
COMIC COMMENTS.

Hard on Isaac: Father-~a Isaac. 1
you are good to-day you may carry up som,
wood, but if you are naughty yon mus
carry it up Fhegeade Btttter.
Substitution A yassar College miss
reads the prayer-book response thus Gas
1t was in the beginning is now and even
shall be, world without men. All, mo ~
Boston Transcript.
Economy: Priest to tramp-"Wh
don't you work Pr ITO save money!
How so?n "Ah, you see. when work
become thirsty, and then spend more
money on beer than | earn. "-FRegendt
Batter.
Use of threadbaro forms The fellow
who wrote; 81 now take my pen in hand, +"
was troubled with remorse whom no tiiscov.
cred, after he had mailed tho letter, that he
had been using lead pencil M Y. Com
zae,cfal 1deertiser
Plantation philosophy Both ends OBJ
life is shrouded in mystery. A man don't
know when he's born or when he dies.
Oars room enough, however between desc
two aeks ter get in a mighty heap OF debil.
ment.--.dq&ansam Tracsler
AS old as circus Joke: Plutarchs adj
vice to the unfortunate is very ingenious and
ought to be consolatory. Consider says
the philosopher "you equal the happiest
men in one-half of your life, at least that
half, | mean, which you spend in your
sleep"
"A drop of dryness Extract from
French novel, where the hero is describing
the first pout in the honeymoon "oh,
nonsense, my dear; You are too exacting ~
said Alfred, dryly. This dryness was the
last drop in her cup-Lucille burst into
tears, Figaro
"A reasonable proposition Peasant
81 wish to get divorce my wife drinks too
much" Priest" How can you say such
thing, you who are drunk every day p"
Peasant" That's Just the reason. Some
one in the family has got to be sobern--
F6egeade Batter.
Force of habit At the bank Clerk
"What do you wish, sir?" Ruffian--
Why, just dropped in to tell you that /
Am the man that knocked down and robbed
your cashier Clerk" Well, sir, I'm sor-
ny ; but you'll have to identify yourself, sir +"
Detroit Free Press
Calling himself names: A neighbor
complained to an Austin clergyman that the
latter's little boy was throwing stones at the
neighbor's house. II don't know what to
do with that boy. Tho devil himself can't
break that boy of throwing stones. I've
tried faithfully" 7eras isittings
"A missing kiss When Brown failed
to catch tho young lady who clapped his
hands at Copenhagen, Fogg remarked that
It was quite marine disaster "A smack
lost, you know, y he explained in answer to
the interrogating glanoes leveled at him from
all sides. - Boston Transcript
Answer to q stunning question aWhy
do women so often wander aimlessly in the
murlsy soltudes of the dead past, brooding
over days forever gone T" asks correspond
emit. This is indeed difficult question to
answer. There arc no dry goods stores in
the dcad past, Chicago Tribune
"A large-souled woman: 1t is not safA
10 speak of Western lady as large-souled
woman. She colors up, Aounces out of the
room, and solloquizes in the sacred fast.
ness of her boudoir: "rll never speak to
that hateful old thing again--so there |
Large-soled, indeed !'-Boston Transcript.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-02-07
POETRY
YOUNGSTERS.

Golden hair and eyes OF blue
What won't they do2 What won't they do.
Eyes Of blue and locks OF gold
My boy, you'l1 learn before you're old,
The gathered foot, the taper waist
Be not IN haste, be not in haste:
Before your chin spiout twenty spear,
My word for t, youngster, they'll appear
Raven hair and eyes OF night
Undo the boys; and It serves 'enn right,
Eyes OF night and raven hair,
They'll drive you, lad, to sheer despair,
The dropping curl, the downward glance,
They're only waiting for the chance;
AT nick OF time they'll sure appear,
Depend upon 1t. laddie dear.
Shapely hands and arms OF snow,
They know their charm, my boy, they know;
Flexile wrists and Reckless hands,
The lass that has them understands,
The cheeks that blush, the lips that smile
A little while, little while
Before you know IT; they'll be here,
And catch you mapping, laddie dear.
Hands, and hair, and lips, and eyes,
TITS there the tyro's danger lies,
You'll meet them leagued, or one by one
In either case the mischiefs done.
A touch, q tress, glance, q sigh,
And then, my boy, good-bye--good-bye
God help you, youngsterl keep good cheer;
Coax on your chin TO twenty spear.
John Vance Cheney. in The Century.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-02-07
WAITING FOR ADVICE.

There was a young man at the Central
Market Wednesday who looked the perfect
specimen of greenhon His hands were
large and red, his clothes didn't fit, and his
cowhide boots had just been rubbed down
with fried meat gravy He was looking at
everything with open mouth when a couple
Of young men who had been driven in by
the rain commenced to guy him. One of
them asked him il he was ON bridal tour,
and the other insisted on calling him Shaks-
peare. Liberal offers were made for his
coat aud boots, and au attempt was made to
secure him for lecturing tour through the
country.
The young man took everything in a
calm, matter of fact way until gentleman
came along and said to him:
See here my friend, why do You stand
these insultsfn
Are they insui NJ me ~
OF course theyN o."
"And should resent 1t ~
Certainly you shouldp
"Then | will. / didn't know exactly
what to do, but thought I'd hold on for nd,
vice. If you say go in and slam 'em I'll dc
so.n
II would
"Then l will y
In the coolest kind Of way he removed
his coat and rolled it up and laid il down,
placed his hat on the bundle, and without a
word of warning he waded in and knocked
one off the end of the bench, and the other
clear over it, aud then gave each lift with
his cowhide. He won q complete victory
inside of two minutes without receiving a
scratch and as he put on bis coat he said to
his adviser:
Much obliged for your kindness, stran.
ger. If that's the way you do hero i'll De-
troit I'll have six months sickness on my
knuckles for the next chap who asks If they
had to hire hall to finish my boots in ~
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-02-07
AN ELECTION COURIER.
How Mark Cox, the Mountain Centnnr,
Carried the Returns in Georgia.

Flecked with foam, q noted Gilmer steed
wiry, sinewy young man, whose home Is in
The saddle-into camp. And what Of it !?
Over sixty-three miles of inaccessible coun-
try, shut out from railroad and telegraph,
have through him yielded up their secrets,
and, for the first time in the history of
Georgia, Rock Creek precinct, hidden in the
dark corner of Fannip, Mobile and Caldwell
precincts, so far to the north as to be cred
ted to Tennessee Noontooia, Tails Creek,
Ball Ground and Cartecay, in Gilmer, down
% Sweet Jerusalem, in Pickcns, are placed
in electric communication with Atlanta and
the balance of the world. The county of
Fannin is shaped like boot. In the north.
vest corner Mobile Caldwell and Fair Play
are seventeen miles distant from the county
seat, while pressed down in the toe, between
Gilmer and Lumpkin, is Rock Greek IRE
oiuct, distant twenty miles. The C0nstitu-
TONS riders started in from the precincts at
.hree in the afternoon, and between five and
liz the twelve gallant horsemen pressed one
by one into Morgantown. The town pre-
cinct, in charge of Mr.. w. A. Morris was
promptly counted out as the polls were clos
ed Tho returns, consolidated and put I'M
der seal, were handed the waiting horseman,
Mr.. Cox, who digging his spurs into the
TANKS of his impatient hippo, instantly was
lost in the darkness as he sprang ON his way
south. Down mountain slope into valley,
through river, across the Toccoa, which
rushes on TO the Hiawassee, and thence
through the Tennessee and on to the Gulf
Of Mexico; checking the rein to the right he
assembled the summit of the Blue Ridge, six
miles out, aud descending on the other side
he reached his first relay at Searcy's, where
he found Jarrett's mule. Now, a good
North Georgia mule is equal to first class
South Georgia horse. Pressing on to
Ellijay Mr.. J. G. Allen stood with Gilmer
county accounted for in his hands. The
rider was Justify cheered as he again left the
town behind him, borne away by Sam
Smiths dark brown horse, the boss trotter,
PAGER and loper Of the county. Out of Gil
mer and into Pickens lie arrived on schedule
time, having ridden forty three miles in fonr
hours and ten minutes. From Pickens the
news was flashed off by wire. Piclxns LIT.
ter IN the Atlanta Constitution.