The Osceola times., 1883-03-24
SHAMEFUL.
4 Terrible Scene or Account OF "a Keg Of
Arkansaw Traveller.

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In the measured language of the Rev.
DR.. Valrongle ITO all who can in inno-
cence begriile the light-toed footballs of a
social night in mirth which does not scar
our moral self, it is a duty which we owe
ourselves to join our hands in pleasures
gayest throng, for given unto us the COM
mand has been, eat and drink and merry
thou must be, for ON the morrow thou
mayest surely die
This the doctor repeated in memory
from his own blank verse work of sacred
poems, in answer to a question asked by
the Rev. Mr.. Mulkittle, as to whether or
not il would be proper to place before his
company keg of cider sent him by a
country brother Dr. Valrongle, although
he had foresworn another visit to the
house, yielded TO warm persuasion, and
went again to Mulkittle's humble home.
to be present upon the occasion of So
cial assemblage.
The boys Uncle Henry, young man
with whom only the most courageous
minister would dare claim relationship,
visited the house shortly after the cider
was received, and entering, upon repeated
occasions, the room where the mild Juice
was kept, he relieved the keg of much of
its strain. Learning that his brother-in-
law, the Rev. Mr.. Mulkittle, contemplate
ed giving a social entertainment. he re-
pented of his indulgence, knowing that
the cider would be produced and know
ing that all the loss sustained to the keg
would be discovered, he determined to
replace it by the best substitute, appl.
brandy; so, purchasing about half gal.
Ion of this hilarious liquid, he induced
the boy to find the keg. the whereabouts
of whose removal he was not cognizant,
and to pour the brandy into the harmless
fruit-extract. Good, from the first page
of history down to now, has been made
an agent of evil, so young Mulkittle, in
executing this commission, certainly did
not think he was committing terrible
sin against the stomach-a sin, for nearly
all men know that the worst mixture
known to malicious thirst and devish
appetite is cider and apple brandy.
When the company, a kind of popcorn
affair, was assembled in the parlor, DIR.
Valrongle stood as a special messenger
from Galilee. When asked. he said that
he thought the temperance question one
of vital Importance. If the people could
only confine themselves to cider, as he
and in fact the entire company were do
ing, the world would not suffer. He had
just thrown himself back on that striking
ly clergic bed of roses where so many
men of gospel, where so many men of
"preach" rest and talk while others seem
to wish in vain for termination, when
young Mulkittle entered, and recognizing
the doctor, asked:
WAS Absalom good?"
"At one time he may have been," re-
piled the doctor, "but at the time of his
death he was not"
WAS Job good?'
Yes; he was goed?'
WAS Adam good?"
The doctor looked around the room,
listened to the merry hum of voices,
looked at the glasses Of cider, received
one, drank it, and replied, "he disobeyed
the command and was driven out of
Eden"
"Was Abel good ?"
"Yes," and he accepted another glass
Of cider.
"nid Noah take Cain into the ark ?"
ooh, no. Noah was not born while
Cain lived"
"How born?"
He had not come to the earth"
Where was he?"
"The Lord had not put him upon
earth"
"Was he in heaven?"
SWELL" and he looked around, not
neglecting glass of cider that had been
placed beside him, Il suppose he was"
is heaven better than the earth?"
"Oh, yes, great deal better"
well, why didn't Noah stay there ?"
~ don't know"
"Ycs you do. You know who'll go to
heaven and know who God likes. Why
don't you know why Noah didn't stay
there? He went back if he was good
and pa says none but the good can go
there, and if Noah was good and was
there why did he leave? Was he busted
up in business?"
Where did You get such naughty ex-
preston ?" replied the doctor, accepting
any plan of expression as an excuse.
"Do you want TO 20 to heaven ?" asked
the boy paying no attention to the ques-
ton.
"Oh, yes"
rs it better place than this?"
Ear better"
"Do You want to go now"
"No, not now"
"Why ?"
"My time hasn't come"
"How Gomez"
pm not dead"
How dead ?"
"The breath hasn't left me-"
"How hasn't the breath left you ?"
kill Hercules"
"Who was Hercules ?"
"a great, strong man.
"Was he in the bible ?'
"No, he was not"
How was he strong, then?"
II don't know, my little fellow"
why don't you know your little fell
low ?"
Mr.. Mulkittle turned and drove the
boy from the room. The cider had been
passed freely. Parson Beglow wanted to
sing. Class leader Atson tried to pat a
jig. Mulkittle walked around with un-
steady step. DR.. Valrongle took another
glass OF cider and allowed his eyes to