The Republican journal., 1883-04-19
His Pa and Dynamite.
THE BOY PREPARES PLOT, AND EVERY THING
GOES. ENCEPT HIS MA.

a
GOES, ENCEPr HIS MA.
81 guess your pas losses in the silver
nine have made him crazy, haven't
they " said the groceryman to the bad
boy, as he came in the store with his eye
Wlnkers singed off, and powder marks
on his face, and began to play on the
harm0nlca, as he sat down on the end of
q stick OF stove wood and balanced him
self.
'Oh, | guess not. He has hedged. He
got III with a deacon of another church.
and sold some of his stock to him, and pa
says If | will keep my condemn mouth
shut he will unload the whole of it, if the
churches hold out. He goes to a new
church every night there is prayer meet
ing or any thing, and makes ma go with
him to give him tone, and after the meet
ing she talks with the sisters about how
to piece a silk bed-quilt, while pa gets in
his work selling silver stock | don't
know but be will order some more stock
from the factory, if he sells all he has
got" and the boy went on playing,
"There's a Land that is Fairer than
Day"
"Bnt what was he skipping up street
for the other night with his hat off, grab
bing at his coat-tails as though they were
on fire | thought | never saw a pussy
man run any faster. And what was the
celebration down on your street about
that time ? | thought the world was com
ing to an end, and the grocery man kept
away from the boy, for fear he would ex-
plode.
ooh, that was only Fenian scare.
NOthin serious. You see pa is a sort of
half Englishman. He claims to be an
American citizen when he wants office.
but when they talk about draft he
claims to be a subject Of Great Britain.
and says they can't touch him. Pa is a
darn smart man, and don't You forget it.
There don't any Of them get ahead Of pa
much. Well, pa has said good deal
about the wicked Fenians, and that they
ought to be pulled and all that, and
when ! read the story in the papers
about the explosion in the British Parlia-
ment pa was hot. He said the damnirish
was running the whole world He didn't
dare say ii at the table, or our hired girl
would have knocked him silly with a
spoonful of mashed potatoes, cause she
is nirlsh girl, and she can lick any
Englishman IN this town. Pa sad there
ought to have been somebody there to
have taken that bomb up and throwed it
in the sewer before it exploded He said
If he ever should see bomb he would
grab il right up and throw it away where
it wouldn't hurt any body. ia has me
read the papers to HIM nights, cause his
eyes nave got splnters in 'en. and after
had read all there was IN the paper
made up lot more and pretended to
read it, about how it was rumored that
the Fenians here in Milwaukee were
going TO place dynamite bombs at every
house where an Englshman lived, and
at given signal blow them all up. Pa
looked pale around the gils, but he said
he wasn't scared. Pa and ma were
going to call on she deacon that night
that has lots of money in the bank, to
see if She didn't want to invest in a dead
sure paying silver mine, and me and my
chum concluded to give them a send-o off.
We got my big black iniy rubber foot
ball and painted "Dinymght1 in big
white letters on it, and tied a piece of
tarred rope to 1t for a fuse, and got a big
ire cracker, one OF those Old Fourth of
July horse-scarers, and baskettu of
broken glass. We put tie foot ball in
front Of the step and lit the tared rope.
and got under the step with the fire
crackers and basket where they 90 down
into the basement Pa and ma came out
the front door and down the steps, and
pa saw the foot-ba and the burning
fuse, and he said; Great God Hammer,
we are bowed up, and he started to run,
and ma she stopped to look at it. just
as PA started to run | touched off the
re-cracker and my chum arranged it to
pour out the broken glass on the pave
ment just as the e-cracker went off.
Wen, every thing went Just as we expect
ed, except ma. She had examined the
foot ball, and concluded it was not
dangerous, and was just giving it {. kick
as the fire cracker went oft and the glass
fell, and the fire cracker was so near her
that 1t scared her, and when pa looked
around ma was tlying across the sidewalk.
and pa heard the noise, and he thought
the house was blown to atoms. Oh, YOU'D
dlde to see him 90 around the corner.
You could play crokay on his coat-tail,
and his face was as pale as mas when
she goes to a party. But ma didn't scare
much. AS quick as she stopped against
the hltchlng post she knew it was us
boys, and she came down there, and
maybe she didn't maui me. | cried. and
tried to gain her sympathy bv telling her
the tlre-cracker went off before it was due
and burned my eyebrows Off, but she
didn't let up until promised to go and
find pa. | tell You, my ma ought to be
engaged by the British Government to
hunt out the dynamite fiends She would
corral them IN two minutes. If pa had as
much sand as ma has got it would be
warm weather for me. Well, me and
my chum went ana headed pa off or
guess he would be running vet We got
him up by the lake shore, and he wanted
to know if the house fell down. He said
he would leave it to me if he ever said
any thing against the Fenans, and told
him he had always claimed that the
Fenlans were the incest men in the world,
and 1t seemed to relieve him very much
When he got home and found the house
there he was tickled, and when ma called
him an old bald headed coward, and said
1t was only joke of the boys with a
football, he laughed right out and said
uo hHGN ~ dll luG time, ana ne ran 10
see if ma would be scared And then he
wanted to hug me, but it wasn't my
night to hug, and | went down to the
theater Pa don't amount to much when
there is trouble. The time ma had them
cramps, You remember, when You got
your cucumbers first last season, pa came
near taintlng away, and ma said ever
since they had been married, when any
thing allied her, pa has had pains Just
the same as she has, only he granted
more and thought he was going to die
Gosh if | was a man | wouldn't be sick
every time one Of the neighbors had a
back ache, would you ?"
"Well, you can't tell When YOU have
been married twenty or thirty years YOU
Will know a good deal more than you do
now. You think you know it all now,
and you are pretty intelligent for a boy
that has been brought up carelessly, but
there are things that you will learn after
a while that will astonish you. But what
alls your pas teeth The hired girl was
over here to get some corn meal for cruel,
and she said your pa was drumming it
since he lost bis teeth"
80, about the teeth That was too
pad. You see my chum has got dog