davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-06-08
HUMOROUS.
Many patients ut our best hospital;

Many patients ut our best hospitals
receive Cruel treatment.-LJe.
Why are deaf people like India
shawlsP Becauseyou can'tmake them
here
-"My Watch Below is the singular
title of the last novel. The writer's
time-piece had probably, by reason of a
hole in his pocket, found its way to his
boot via his pants leg.-Pittsburgb Tel
egrGph.
An Irishman, seeing Dude emerge
from Delmonico's the other night, ex-
claimed: sol say, come down out of
that will yez, from under tn hat. May
be we think OF can't see the LEGS of Yez
a danglin' down. IN Y. Graphic.
An ''unmerged'' woman at the
West, who applied for position as
driver of a street-car, was asked if she
could manage mules. "Of course l
cam was the ready reply. 81 have
had two husbands. > Chicago Tribune.
"A woman returning from market
got into a street-car the other day with
a basket full of dressed poultry. To her
the driver, speaking sharply, said:
"Fare'' mo-" said the woman,
"fowlp' And everybody cackled.-M
7. Mail.
The fashionable theater hat is now
built two feet tall, and it should be
decorated on either side with dozen
or so good sized ostrich plumes. This
style of hat is always sure to create a
sensation-in the seat behind you.-M
z. Commercial Aduertiser
-" You write beautiful hand. /
wish that / had such hand,n said Mr..
Flasher to a lady clerk at the hotel.
Am / to consider this as proposals."
asked the bright lady. Weller
yes-if my wife is willing to let me off, !"
replied the accomplished Flasher
NorriStoeOn Herald.
Her father stood at the gate talking
wiFh a gentleman, and the seven-year-
ole miss threw out several hints about
supper being ready without success. At
length, anxious and impatient, she
called out from the side stoop: .Papa,
if you don come right in to supper, the
ice-cream will get cold. "--Detroit Free
Press.
Tracks of human being have been
found in Nevada showing the length of
the foot to be eighteen inches and the
width eight inches. IfChicago mothers
don't keep their daughters at home, in
stead of letting them wander around
Nevada, they will get the scientific
world into worse mess than the Cardiff
Giant did. OIL city Derrick.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-06-08
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

Governor Sheldon, of New Mexico,
lives in house which is three hundred
years old. II is a mansion of one
story.
"A very wealthy New York girl has
adopted Japanese baby of two years.
She paid IS, 900 for him, and has named
him James A. Garfeld.-M z. Herald.
Charles Yelling, a New York dry
goods merchant who failed in 1865, pay
ING fifty cents on the dollar, has just
paid his creditors the balance, $500. 900.
N Z. Times.
Prof John Fraser, of Chicago Uni
versity, has been engaged to write the
articles on "Utah'' and Universities
(American) for the Encyclopedia Brit
annica.
The youngest telegraph operator in
tie world is probably a little girl ten
years old, Halle Hutchinson by name,
who lives in Texas, and has charge of
the telegraph office at the railway sta
zion at which she resides Chicago
Herald.
Colonel Cockerel, late of the st.
Louis Post Dispatch, who killed Colonel
Slayback, lawyer of that city, last
year, and was acquitted on the ground
that he killed him in self-defense, is
now the managing editor of the New
York World.
Horace E. Scudder has been select
ed by Houghton, Miffiin & Co. as the
editor of their proposed historical series
on american Commonwealth"
These monographs will deal with those
States which have had distinct and
powerful influence upon the develop
ment of the nation. Both new and
old States will be treated under this
plan.
of the late Bishop Peck, of SYRIA
cuse, N. Y, the Utica Herald says: I'm
the midst of other work he found time
to write books. True Woman The
Central Idea of Christianity and
what Must | Do to Be Savedp' are
those which are best known. He was a
very industrious man, and very devoted
to his church. His whole life could have
hardly been more entirely given up to
it had he been monk in the Middle
Ages.
Henry Charles Keith Petty Fitz-
maurice, Marquis of Lansdowne, who,
according to a cablegram, will succeed
the Marquis of Lorne in the Governor
Generalship of Canada in October, is
the fourth bearing his title in the peer
age of Great Britain. He is in the sixty
seventh year of his age. In addition to
his English titles he is Earl of Kerry,
Viscount Clanmaur3ce and Fitzmaurice,
Baron of Kerry, Lixnaw and Dunkeron,
in the peerage of Ireland. Chicago
Journal.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-06-08
Liauor Drank in Illinois.

In an editorial in your last Saturdays issue
you estimate the cost of liquor drank in ult
nois IN the course of year at S4aJO,0O0.
Don't you think these figures are rather steepf
Give us your basis of calculation.
TRUTHsEEKER
We are all s'truthseekers;' all who
have any genuine claim to honesty.
There is certainly no occasion to exag-
gerate the statistics of the liquor traffic;
they are sad enough, every good citi-
zen must confess; Notifying enough,
one would suppose, to shame the devil
hlmselt. There is an error, undoubted-
~, IN the above estimate, but it is not
on the side that "Truthseeker'' sup
poses. 1t is an underestimate, thought
to be sufficiently alarming, and inten-
tionally reduced below our actual COM
putation, for the very purpose of avoid
ing any ground for the charge of exag-
geration. But since even this low esti-
mate provokes the above question, we
submit the following data as 10 the re-
tail liquor traffic of this city, remarkine
in passing that there is reason to believe
that Chicago is not the chief of sinners
in this business, Buffalo having one sa-
loon to every 96 inhabitants and New
York one to every 135 inhabitants,
whereas this city has but one to every
100.
From testimony given in court in
various cases, and from the prices of
rents, cost of living. wholesale cost of
beer, whisky. vine and other spirituous
and fermented liquors, it is generally
conceded that the gross receipts of the
poorest class of saloons average not less
than S12 to $15 a day, while the princi-
pal establishments take in from $3.50 to
$3.50 a day, according to seasons, days
and special circumstances.
The following estimate is based on OBJ
servat'Ons made as to the patronage of
six Chicago saloons, so long ago as
1877, by the founders of the Citizens
League. The figures in the first column
give the number of persons, male and
female, seen to enter these places be-
tween seven p. m. and midnight; the
second column is our own computation
of the money paid in, assuming that
nothing but beer was called for, at five
cents glass, two-thirds of the customers
drinking but one glass, and the rest of
them averaging only two glasses each,
and the third column indicates the prob
able actual receipts, adding for the or
binary consumption of drinks more
costly than beer:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-06-08
Temperance Items.

In 1873 A PUBLIC COFFEE-HOUSE was
established in London for the purpose
of checking intemperance, and to-day
there are over one hundred and sixty
such enterprises in England mostly in
London. They receive the hearty praise
of the Church, and the substantial aid Of
the respectable classes.
OUR RUMsELLERs are killing the peo-
pie for gain and then shrieking for
Liberty" to go on with their murder
ing work. They are coming money by
making society tester with corruption,
and then yelling for elderly to con-
tinue the Satanic work of tempting and
running the people.-ReScWe.
THE DRINK-DEN never did any real
good to man, woman or child. No one
outside of the iquor-makers and sellers
was ever made richer or happier for it.
1t degrades, not ennobles; curses, not
blesses; hurts, not helps; wrecks, not
saves Like all sin, q it is evil, and
only evil, and that continually"
A New YORK ARTIST, woman whose
husband and son had both been ruined
by liquor, recently painted picture for
which Stokes, slayer of Jim Fisk and
proprietor of the Hoffman House bar
room, offered her large sum of money.
On learning, however. that il was to be
used to attract drinkers to his saloon,
she refused to make the sale.-M Y
Sun.
The following is from a friend at
Waukesha, Wis, and explains itself:
:" / heard leading citizen of Waukesha
say recently, in the presence of a null
titude, that the city had received ST.
600 this year for whisky or saloon
license. AS one of the results / have
held four inquests on the bodies of four
men, who were all citizens of this place,
and all died from the effects of liquor
bought on the authority of these
licenses; Two committed suicide, and
two, father and son, lay down on the
railroad track and were crushed to
death by the incoming train. Four
men, soul and body, for S1,000r When
viii our people awake to the enormity
of the sin they are committing in
licensing people to sell rum?"-Sas
Francisco Rescu3.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-06-08
Tea-Tasters.

Tea-tasters are employed by import
ers of teas, by great tea firms in China
and Japan, in London and New York.
Their duties are very onerous. Their
taste has to be instinctively correct, as
reliable as car-conductor' bell punch,
and yet the most expert of them could
no more ascertain the facts required by
the law than could the trained consumer
of eating-house hash tell what curiosi-
ties of the animal, the vegetable, the
mineral and the red-haired world had
originally been chopped up in the old
oaken hash-bucket that hangs out in the
kitchen. His whole duty is to merely
tell the merchantable grade of the tea,
and, by tasting pinch of the leaves, to
accurately anticipate the flavor that the
same tea will offer to the consumer of it
when it has been stepped and served.
He puts pinch of the tea as prepared
for market into his mouth; he works his
mouth unpleasantly for few moments
till the tea is softened with saliva; then,
with "click " like the cooking of an
Arizona six-shooter, he obtains the
s'taste;" then he splits the tea out, care
fully rinses his mouth and gives his
verdict. His is the most melancholy of
lives. He may never taste intoxicants.
His diet must be such that it will never
sshteriorate his tasting powers But
ne gets an enormous salary. The aver
age of his usefulness is only eight yca<s:.
Much mistaken was the Irish poet who
wrote of whisky:
You're stronger, shwater, daycenter,
You're shpunkier nor tay.
Because ''tay'' in eight years leaves the
faster hopelessly palsied invalid, to
spend his savings in the vain hope of
r9gaining health. That tea viii inebri-
ate is proven. When the tea plant is
just about to bloom experts go through
the gardens and carefully clip the most
advanced blossoms just about to burst
into flower. These are manipulated
generally, as is all tea, but with the
most jealous care. The result is a tea
that even sells in Japan and in China,
at from ten dollars to eighteen dollars
pound. The travelled Americans are
numerous who unanimously attest that
the leisurely drinking of four little
china cups of the sleeping of this kind
of tea has almost precisely the same eff
feet upon them as the drinking of a
quart bottle OF champaign. only that
the exuberance is far more lasting and
that it leaves them without head ring
ing like dinner gong and with no pre-
sentiment Of resulting ''jim-jams, IN
7. Star,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-06-08
MISS HILDRETH.

II must have peacock, john said
Miss Hildreth, as she met her man-ser-
want on the lawn. ''He would look so
finely on the balustrade, with his
feathers spread or trailing them over
the green sward. really must have
one, John.
They be an awful nuisance, marm,n
aemurred John. They'd never stick
to the balustrade! They'd be as hard
to manage as children, an that's a
They keeps up an awful squalling.
Miss, put in Jane, the maid, when the
matter reached her ears. 'They'I be
worse than Miss Noyes' guinea-hens
and Miss Dunn's parrot, or them chill
dren of Parson Miller's-I never did see
such neglected plaques as they be- she
added, irrelevantly. II wonder their
mother don't rise in her grave. But
the poor man-what does he know of
the care of babies, with his sermons and
his .prayer-meeting, and his parochial
visits and his poorP He's off to this we'd
ding or that funeral, or he's reading the
Word to the sick and blind. It's a.
shame there's no women folks. but
hired help, to look after 'em. / see him
myself one day a-tidying of them IN.
and pinning on their clean collars
wrong side out and upside down. /
s'pose he was thinking of free-wiIl and
election, like as not. .
81 wish him JOY of them, said Miss
Prudence. II prefer the peacock
Tie first night after the peacock's
arrival, however, Miss Prudence never
closed her eyes, or the bird his mouth,so
to speak; but when he pranced across
the lawn in the morning light, Miss
Prue thought she would rather lose
her sleep than the sight of so much
beauty
Miss Dunn says she'll have to Law in
stock of choral and bromide, if you're
going to keep the peacock jane re-
ported; and Mrs. Noyes herself dropped
IN TO suggest that he could be killed and
stuffed ''-'N'
He'll be quite as decorative. y said
she, without disturbing the neioh-
bors.M
Every two or three DAYS small ur-
chm would appear with the bird in tow.
and remark, demurely: Your peacock
strayed over to Dickens, and I've
fetched him along home,n for which
civility sundrY pieces Of small change
would be disbursed
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-06-08

Observe that these are the receipts in
saloons where lager beer was the chief
drink; that the above figures cover only
the five hours after seven p. M; and
that liquors in kegs, bottles, pitchers
and jugs, ordered for home use, are not
taken into account. There are few
establishments dealing chiefly in whisky,
brandy, wine, etc., whose receipts are
at times nearly double the highest
amount above given as the daily aver
age.
To add assurance to our own calcula-
ton, one of the most thorough invest-
gators and accurate reporters on the
Inter Ocean local staff was detailed to
ascertain, as nearly as may be, the
actual receipts of Chicago saloons. On
the data furnished by him moderate
estimate of the gross annual receipts of
the $3.50 licensed saloons of Chicago
figures as below:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-06-08

large glove mandatory, and forthwith
he opened his satchel and presented me
pair of gloves, as he said: GAS a
sign that my honest dealing was an
preciated.
OF course, accepted them with
thanks, but added US parting admoni-
ton: My young friend, take the adj
vice of casual acquaintance whose
chief business is with young men, and
dismount as quickly as possible from
Bill Myers mare? ''-P President TaEttle,
of Wabash COLLEGE,.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-06-08
S32NS2.750

This schedule does not cover unli-
censed saloons, or other places where
liquor is sold; the average daily receipts
are taken at less rather than more than
the probable truth, and yet it charges
Chicago, which contains oI.y about one
sixth of the population OF the State,
with an outlay of over S32.000.00O per
annum for spirits, wines and fermented
drinks. 1t is not so easy to ascertain
the number of saloons in the rest of the
State and their average daily sales, but
data arc not wholly wanting. Fifty
eight high-license towns of the State,
with a population of $4,000, contain
401 saloons, or one to every 40 inhabit-
ants. Make all the allowance that can
be reasonably asked for the moderate
drinking of the farming classes, and
discount, if possible, our estimate for
Chicago, and the total cost of liquor
drank in Illinois exceeds S60,000,000
per annum.-L7ster ocean.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-06-08
-Ledy Wilde writes that women !

Lady Wilde writes that women in
Boston are intense and transcendental;
in Philadelphia they cultivate litera-
ture, poetry and art; in Washington
every young lady looks forward to be-
ing elected to the English peerage; but
that New York is the paradise of
women, where men toll to cover their
wives with diamonds, IN z. Graphic.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-06-08

Several days ago a man named
White was fatally injured by fall from
telephone pole in Albany. Friday 9
physician made an autopsy and 1ouna
that Whites back between the shoul-
ders had been broken, the spinal cord
severed and the breast-bone IN 'front.'
fractured, proving that by his taH the
man had been completely doubled. De-
spite these injuries White lived four
days after the accident-grOy Times.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-06-08

"A bridge between New York and
Brooklyn was talked of as early as 1929,
ct which time the estimated cost was
100000. Quite a difference between
that sum and $4,000, 900.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-06-08
.sTHB LADY. OR THE 77GERg'
se OR BOTHq

I'm a clever story by Frank H. Stockton
entitled the The Lady, OF the Tiger, "
published several months ago in the Century
Magazine, the author left his hero in
a rather embarrassing position. He was
placed in front of two doors, behind one
OF which was tiger ready to deyour him,
marriage. One of the doors he must open.
But the daughter of the King loves the youth,
and the question is whether her love viii be
sufficiently strong to lead her to save the man
from the tiger and give him to her rival. The
raising her right hand, indicates that he shall
open the door on the right. He advances to
ohey-there Mr.. Stockton leaves him. Inc
story aroused a great deal of curiosity, and
many solutions have been attempted. The
wittiest and best of them all is by Major
Joseph Kirkland, of Chicago, and is pub
lished in recent number of the Century, as
fcll c.tua n n.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-06-08


corner OF his brain where they had been
sleeping unknown to him; dreaming of
the dewy evenings in the rose-garden of
the old parsonage where he studied Di-
vinity and she taught the children their
A b Cs; of moonlight nights on the
river together, and spring mornings in
the woods hunting the first wild flower;
of Sundays, when they sang together in
the choir; of their stroll home THROUGH
green, sweet-scented lanes. The thou
sand and one dear hours they had spent
IN each others company passed before
his mind eye like some beautiful piano.
rama. He wondered if, indeed, he was
the hero of those dreams, if he had ever
been 50 happy The first parting, the
first estrangement, wrung his heart
anew, as if they had, happened only
yesterday. What foolish thing their
little quarrel looked like to-day, seen by
the light of years and knowledge such
a trifle, but with such large results.
Yet he had been the first to make an
overture toward reconciliation, thank
God! If she accepted his overture she
was to write and say so; but no word
had come to him in reply What days
and hours of suspense lifted their shad-
ows before him; how the whole world
had seemed bleak and improbable
without her! And in a season of
weakness, when his wounded
heart could bear no more, he had
accepted the sympathy and comfort
nearest at hand, and had finally
married Lefty Carew, because she loved
him, only to wake up one day to find
that he owed all his unhappiness to her.
Miss Hildreth had, indeed, answered
him, had given Lefty the letter to mail
they had been intimate friends in
those days, intrusted with each others
heart-beats- sand Lefty. had detained
the missive that would have healed the
breach. How did he know this? Years
after it tumbled out Of drawer Of old
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-06-08

A monarch wise; two ladies fair;
youth not blessed with rank or money,
A Royal Tiger from his lair;
These are our dTdnldtls peTS0nCg.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-07-21
LIGHT SPARKS.

-Busness was duh on the Military plaza this
morning.
Chickens have been selling at 30 cents
piece.
Nine marriage licences were issued during
the week.
No deaths had been reported TO the city
physician mt noon to-day.
No death has occurred at the county poor
house during the past two months.
The statement that their will be a perfcr-
nance of Maecotte tonight is denied.
"A judicious selection OF Strauss music will
be played at the Mission garden tonight
Mr. r. f. Schmidt Is in the city canvassing
for his new paper, the New Braunfels Post.
There was a minstrel performance ut Jonas
garden last night which was much appreciated.
Forty building per" its have been issued
during the week, ranging from $40 10 Sl2,OOO
cost.
"A Mexican woman the grandmother Of
one Of Berg Brothers employees. died TINS
morning.
james Chamberlain, for creating disturb
unoe, opposite the Police court yesterday, was
fined $40.
The Teachers association, after session
of four days, adjourned 10 meet next year at
San Antonio.
Last night Mr. Howard c. Cookies local hit
of giving $4,000 To clean the San Antonio river
was much applauded.
A novelty appeared in the streets to-day In
the form of a comey lady drummer for a Cali
fornia glove house.
"A license was issued TO day for the mar
rage of w h. Painter, of san Antonio and
Miss A. II. West, Of Waco.
In the Recorders court this morning %
cases were called, II fined, the fines amounting
to SSS Five were dismissed and SIX lntinued.
A hor7e opposite Kalteyers drug store was
very restless this morning; tn animal was
| tiy-blown in the knee aud was going 10 be
doctored.
Mr. Robert Becker was presented with a
| basket of fruit and II boquet of flowers on
singin the peculiar Charm Song" at Maicot
| last night.
BY error Yesterday the LIGHT mentioned
MIR. sam c.. Bennett instead of Mr. Sam W.
Bennett as being interested in the Traders
National bank.
The San Antonio Blues will play II base
ball game with a select nine OF the San AntO-
Mo Athletic club at the San Pedro springs to-
day at o'clock.
cert AZ Krisoh's hall on Tuesday next IN aid
IF the Mace donna church has been issued. 1t
is attractive and judciously arranged
John L. Holland desires the LIGHT to say
rhat he is not the John Holland whose name
appeared in the cases OF the Recorders court
and he has not appeared before that official.
Professor Orsini is getting up two wagons
for the coming Nolksfest, which are to be
beautifully decorated. The characters will be
comica and represented by members of the
Hickory club.
In these days of intelligent reading does
any one believe in the virtues of the made
stone and more than in the truth OF Alchemy.
Both had their day and have been proved as de-
cided frauds.
Street Commissioner Russi's men are doing
good work at the rOckquarry rond and on
North Flores street, and the pillow aud soraper
| on Buena Vista street, First ward, aud the
prisoners are cutting weeds from Washington
square. new covering was put on the bridge
over West Houston street near the gas works.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-07-21

The proprietor of the s.. Leonard hotel, MAR
plaza, presents his compliments to the citizens
of San Antonio. and desires TO say that he hai
opened restaurant aud dining room, in co .
nection with the hotel, where frst-class meall
will be served at all hours from o u. M. to
p. IN.
The dining room is spacious and airy, and
place to bring their lady friends for lun
cheon or dinner, cooked to order, at short no
tice.
The rates OF fare have been placed at a mod
craze figure, aud the business of the house will
be conducted mt popular prices.
Soliciting share of the public patronage,
am very respectfully, p. y. LOUNsBERY.