Milford chronicle., 1883-11-16
WIT AND WISDOM.
Fo11ew up advantages.

CHEERFULNEss is spark from heaven
EACH one sees what he carries in hi
heart.
A MANS best friends are his tel
fingers.
THINKING is the talking of the SOU
with itself.
FAILURE should be the stepping-stone
to success.
BY the errors of others, the wise man
corrects his own.
He is wise who never acts without
reason, and never against it.
ST LOUIS girls complain that General
Sherman's lips have become calloused.
COLLEGE students in Siam are allowed
two wives. This is the Siamese method
of hazing.
A KENTUCKY editor recently shot two
men who jumped on him. Now is the
time to subscribe.
''Do BIRDS think p asks writer in
opening a current article. If they do,
we would ike to know what canary
bird thinks of the fat woman who stands
up in chair and "talks baby" through
the brass wires of its cage
FRENCH GALLANTRY: A gentleman
weary of life filings himself out of fifth
story window. A beautiful lady hap
pens to be taking the air on the balcony
of the first floor. "Charmingl !" he ex-
claims rapidly. And then passes on.
THE Detroit Free Press says-If you
want your communications to a news
paper to appear next day, you should
sign yourself "Veritas, ''Vigilance," 3"
'Vox Populi' or Taxpayer" Any one
Of these signatures hits an editor plumb
centre.
"YEs," said the hat manufacturer,
81 take a good deal of interest in an
election, but wish things could be ar
ranged so that both parties would lose.
In that event the demand for hats would |
be doubled. However, a half loaf is
better than no bread"
The Rev. J. W. Balm, of Philadelphia,
preaching in Pittsburgh, enumerated
the things not to be found in heaven.
"There is no darkness there, no clouds,
no sickness, no graves, no funerals, no
preachers-" At this point, seeing a
smile ripping over the congregation,
he explained: "I mean there's no
preaching there"
DUALEY was making an evening call,
and the nice little boy of the family
had been allowed to remain up little
ater than usual. "Ma," he said, during
4 lull in the conversation, "can whisky
ak ?" Certainly not" said ma,
What put that absurd notion into
your head ?" ''Well," he replied, ST
heard You say to pa that whisky was
elling on Mr. Dumley, and I wanted to
lnow what it said"
IF you will let me take your stick of
ANDY I'll show you how I can swallow
t and make it come out of my ear"
The candy was delivered. The young
magician deliberately ate it. Then for
he space of two minutes he threw him
elf into violent contortions. The candy
ailing to appear, he said to the expect
Mt spectator, with an air of great dis
ppointment. "I believe I've forgotten
he rest of it. ."-Peck'S San.
YoUNG widow addressing servant
irD: elena, what did you do with the p
this gentleman left here for P
le more than a year ago? You surely /,
ever gave it to me, nor did you tell me N N
word abou; it." Lena (after thinking 0'
long time): "Oh, yes, I remember =
o%. Why, I thought it was the jack 7
diamonds that had been lost for so
ng, and J put it in the card drawer" til
pparent discontinue of elderly gentle VI
an. p
"OH, yes, said the eldest Miss Gull
re at table d'hote the other evening.
breakfasted yesterday with Mrs.
'ainweight and we enjoyed delicious
past-excellent coffee, superior bread e
d piscatorial globes done admirably"
What ?" asked her friend. 'Piscatorial n.
obes, repeated the Boston virgin.
md what under the sun are they?"
believe, said Miss Culture, drawing vi
rself up stifly. 81 believe uncultured pr
ople call them fish balls. -
Chinese Dish.