The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1882-1884, 1883-01-11

always hts. 1t is the perfection OF a
fit Laughter AMI it is the haniiest
lress in the whole realm Of fashion
1t is always ready. always done up.
"When you call on Fan lady and
send up your card. the hired girl
never says, please take seat; mad
anne is dressing; SHELL be down in
three quarters of an hour No;
madam is always dressed always
ready to receive; and before you can
get the door-mat before YOUR eyes she
is in your midst. Laughter. Then
a lain. the Fan l.lies don't 60 to
church to see what each other has
on. AMI they don't go back iloms
ami describe it. and slander It.
( Laughter. Such is the dark child
Of sava 5erv as to everyday toilets,
and thus. curiously enough, she finds
point Of contact with the fair
daughter of civilization and high
fashion who often has nothing to
wear and thus these wide-separaLed
types of the sex meet upon common
groun1. Yes. such is the Fan wo-
man as she appears in her simple,
unostentatious, everyday toilet;
but on state occasions she is more
lressy. At banquet she wears
bracelets at lecture she wears ear
rings and a belt; aud at q ball
she wears stockings, and. with true
feminine fondness for display, she
wears them on her arms laughter
at a funeral she wears a jacket of tar
and ashes laughter ; at a welding
the bride who can afford it puts on
pantaloors laughter Thus the
lark child of savagery and the fair
laughter Of civilization meet once
more upon common ground, and
these two touches Of nature make
their whole world kin.
Now. we will consider the dress
of our other type. A large part Of
the daughter of civilization is her
dress-as it should be. Some civili-
zed women would lose half their
charm without dress, and some would
lose all of it. Laughter. The
laughter Of modern civilatiOn dress
ed at her utmost best, is a marvel o!
lex1uisite and beautiful art and eX-
lpense. All the lands, all the climes
and all the arts are laid under trib-
ute to furnish her forth. Her linen
is from Belfast, her robe is from
Paris. her lace is from Venice or
France. her feathers are from the re
mote regions Of Southern Africa, her
furs are from the remote home Of the
Iceberg and the aurora, her fan from
Japan, her diamonds from Brazil her
bracelets from California, her pearls
rom Ceylon, her cameos from RI me.
She has gems and trinkets from
buried Pompeii. and others that
yraced comely Egyptian forms that
have been dust and ashes now for
forty centuries. Her watch is from
Geneve, her card case from China.
her hair from-from-I don't know
where her hair is from-I never
could find out much laughter that
is, her other hair. her public hair, her
t Sunday hair-I don't mean the hair
she goes to bed with. Laughter.
Why, you ought to know the hair |
mean It's that thing which she calls
a switch. and which resembles a
switch as much as it resembles 9
brickbat, a shotgun, or any other
thing which you correct people with.
It's that thing which she twists and
then coils round and round her head
beehive fashion, and then tncks the
end under the hive and harpoons il
with a hairpin. And that reminds
. me of a trifie. Any time you want
to you can glance around the carpet
of Pullman car and 60 and pick VI
can you get any woman in that cal
, to acknowledge that hairpin. Now
isn't chat strange? Bat is true.
. The woman who has never swerved
< from cast.iron veracity and fidelity
her whole life, will, when confronted
! with this crucial test, deny her hail
pin. Laughter. She will deny
that hairpin before a hundred wit
nesses. l have stupidity got into
more trouble and more hot water try
+ ing to hunt up the owner of hair
; pin in a Pullman car than ny any
! other indiscretion of my life.
, "Well. you see What the daugh hte
: Of civilization Is when she is dressed
r and you have seen what the dau htel
: of savagery is when she is not. Sucl
II is woman as 20 costume. l cone
now to consider her in her higher
= and nobler aspects as mother, wife
t widow, grass widow. mother-in- law
l hired girl, telegraph operator. tele-
r phone hellooer, queen book agent
| wet nurse. stepmother. boss, profess
I ional fat woman, professional double
!. headed woman, professional beauty
= and so forth and so on. Laughter.
# We will simply discuss these few
| Let the rest of the six tarry il
r Jericho till we come again. Firs
e in the list of right, and first in ou
gratitude, comes woman who
/. why, dear me, I've been talking three
t quarters Of an hour, beg thousan'
It pardons. But you see yourselve
9 that [ had Il contract. have ac
e complished so nething, any way.
- have intro 1ure1 nv Subipt.t. and