davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

A huge Cinnamon hear aoerated and
tore George BARKER, near Lea1ville, last
winter; DR., W. X. Leonard said. ~ cured
his cruel wounds with two boxes OF Browns
Arnica Save, and without scar You
should have u box of Browns Arnioa Salye
always in the house; IL removes inflammation
aud heats whenever the skin is broken, II
your druggist does not have IL, send -
cents in stamps to the Brown Medicine Co.,
Leavcpworth, Kansas, and they will send
you n box by return mail. For sale by
Williams, rolliver & Walker, Hoyt Il COT.
fin, aud Howell * Co. Dallas, Texns.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04
Nelt0tous.

1s-DALLAS CIiY MIssiO N--scfyices nj the
courthouse every sunday, at II O'Clock q ~. BY
wv v iouhR fsstor
ns-FL0YD STREET NJ r. CHURCH SOUTH
-Rev J W, I'm, pastor Preaching ALTA.
M aud 7 p. m, Sabbath school at eg0 a nj
A cordial Invitation extended To all,
Bs-CoNGREG ATIoNAL CuURcu--f;orpcro
llarwood and Bryan sheets, Preachln nv Rev.
l. Q 'coaeld at IL n IN aud 7;s, u. M, Sunday.
school at y, NJ. A hearty We, come IN uli =
ao-sECoSD pREsiyrrRTANc urrpcyf--it
tho IN ,riln, -, E,n .a IN, ~ ,nS h SsIAt
services every sund ay al II n M ead
Sab ath.schDul At GA. IN. PRAYER meeiin , IN
" ednesday at 7;s d. m. ., -.
us-r,usps - 4,
Tham'nn ~. ~ FL Shuhvh-hev. u
-'lo !, n, s,,nvIs ~, y, eso ~ N. AND
meeting ON Wedne.daw evenins ~ y; IN M raye s
free PubLs cordI.lly Invited ''0 's"~
..-ptpor N r,.,.,, ,,,,,, !,
o. ~ M ~ pnl ~ VIZ nor-VoIner Lave
In ~ anu III, ma,woou sIee%. rev. " y. Flskott
s..,s "' p s,na w a u y, w nnu Evo N,
AMI .,n.5,n, uas,sunooi ~~p . m. D.J.
nw-CiIMn -pprsi,yrTpf IN s,,,,p,,i,----yss.
6rsop street nav n ~ nron,,,,,i',' W, sef
Preaching II n m aud psWu.
school MI oao m Rohs,, Il aaa, sa n,n.,,s
tendent cordial Invitation ss s.~y supe ~
W VIZ:
Trade rnnms 'r W., s,.aa, .puhVh,-bsard .
, ,Iauc ,oom p Elm uec.; rev q. b. surbef
D. M sandsy.seh"Sl Al osr ~ anM 1s9 ~.
superlnlcndent -" w. ~ N~'"s
-,',,, !. N ,.r,v,. =. :. -. -.
worshI,',n,' y, n na,i. n. OhukVh SOUTH
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

Every truth has two sides look at both
before committing ourself TO ether Kid.
ney.Wor Challenges the closest scrutiny OF
IT'S II grelient, aud its grand results lthas
uothtDg ~ fear frnm truth, Doctors may
disagree as to the hes methods and rene.
dies, { r the c 'r of con tipa''on and dis,r.
have used HI IN Wort agree that II Is by
To- the hest medicine known. Its action ID
prompt, thorough cni lastlng.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04
MIRA wluslows,s soo,hlnv svrrn

Rev. Svlyanus Cobb thus writes In the
Boston Christian Freemau:--We would By
no means recommend anv kind ofmedicine
which We did not know to be good--parte-
nlarly tor infants. But of Mrs. Winslow's
soothing syrup We can speak from knowl.
edge; in our own family il has proved a
blessing indeed, by giving an infant
troubled with collie pains, quiet sleep, aud
the parents unhroken rest at night. Most
parents can appreciate these blessings
Here is an article which works to perfection,
an' which liz harmless; for the sleep which
1t affords the infant is perfectly natural,
aud the little cherub awakes as "bright as
hinton And during the process OF
teething, irs value is incalculahle, We have
frequently heard mothers say that they
would not be without Il from the birth OF
the Guild I'LL II had finished with the teeth
mg Siege,s ION any consideration whatever.
Sold by all druggists, rs cents y bottle.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

a Care
To all who are suffering from the errors
and indiscretions OF youth, nervous weak
ness, early decay, loss Of manhood, etc., !
will send recipe that will cure you, free
of charge. This great remedy was discov.
cred by missionary In South America
Send II seli-addre,sed envelope TO the Rev.
Joseph T, lnman, Station ID, New York
pity
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

Every dny In this city thousands Of per.
sohs eat too mucn At dinner, and, as a con.
sequence, suffer from sour stomach, heart
burn, indigestion, dyspepsia, etc. II these
will take Just one Of Caftrr's Little Liver
Pills immediately after eating. they will be
surprised by the entire absence Of those un.
pleasant feelings which daily distress them,
OF eating big dinners without fear. Only
one little pill, remember; Is cents. An
druggists. For sale by Williams, Tolliver
4 Walker, druggists. n
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04
Fry iti Try i'll Try i,iii

Try iti Try Il ~ Try i,iii
Reader, you should 30 at once to your
druggist and get 25c. rox of Browns Ar
Mica Salve. II II fails once to cure any
burn, old sore ucer,a frost bite or inilamed
sore eyes, your druggIs, will return your
money. Positively warranted.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

English Female Bltters sends red blood TO
slckly wninan's cheeks and strength to
her muscles, by giving AN appetite, aiding
digestion and building up the system, All
female regulator VIII he delighted with Its
prompt and reliable action.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04
For Aeu..

LloR RsNt-On f,oru.1y isl the comfo-ta.
II BILE nfh,e looms now occupied b Veal
Cooper & Co; also the su to OF rooms nDw &c.
cuplci by Mrs W. q Vcal, owe, Osr's Carriak,
Repository. "a Main street. iuyul,e At office
u orrs 'arriare Reposi,ory, Iaola.siu.u
CuR RtNT-rwo neat colleges AZ " :, and
L 1907 Commerce street Amply at 726 Main NJ
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

convenient 10 carry, pleasant 10 take, and
certain In their results are Acxer's Dys-
pepsia Tablets. Rec ,mmended by physic.
liant and endorsed by al who have used
them. The best known remedy tor Dv
pepsia. Sold by W. II. Patterson a Co.,
Dallas, Texas.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

A Puro and Effective Hair pressing
Cocaine, u compound OF Cocoannt Oil,
beauties the hair and is sure to allay all
itching AID irritation Ut the scalp. 4
The superiority OF Busnetts Flayoriny
Extracts consislsin their perfect purity and
strength.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

Blood poisoning produces Rheumatism
Debility, Scrofula, Mercurial or Syphilitic
Ulcers, Fstula, Eruptons, etc. IL engen.
ders disease and deprcsses vitality. and Is n
dangerous condition OF the system. If Won
would rejoice IN pure blood and healthy
body, use Acker's blood Elixir. Sold by
W. II. Patterson e Co.. Dallas, Texas
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

whenever you prefer to 30 hungry ratl er
than suffer from Dyspepsia after eati e.,
use Acker's Dyspepsia Tablets and enjoy
your uinncr. In neat tin boxes, 20 and 80.
uin,s sold. by w. II. Patterson,& Co,
Dallas rpXns
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

sAFroRD, MICHIGAN, August 70. 1879. CARTE
MRDlolNR COMPANY:
Gentlemcn--Please send 10 my address
another bottle of the Little Liver Pills.
consider them sovereign remedy for Head
ache. CHARLES s. SANpFoRp,
Midland county Michigan.
For sale by Williams Tollivsr h Walker
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04
ghssa Column.


~ h.,Sh-Aoyerase,nsnts may % nxnocd H.
eoaieeSias Room NJ 10 :. N.
NoIlck-r r. stock ralsas and iarus,rx RI.
ueaesdsoed has alsrxe ranehe. well ~
mnnsand umo red and situated near 4 ilro.&
ne as.nss god man " take an inle,est md
seed apply who IA, not At less, sSc,, 4, s.e,ss
N the pasiaess Addrsss stock Rsl,,r ma
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

Reader, II you will drink W II. Nc.
Rravcr's whisky nj eth. Office" you will
live to be M old as Methusaleb. II Is oil
from the can. Office, on Poy RAJ, between
Main anu Elm streets.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

Crushed teed.--Oats, corn ana barley
crushed Ia economical, healthiul and better
Tor horses and cows than whole grain.
Corn meal, Graham -four, hominy aud grits
manufactured At Felton's corn-mill Pat
tprsOn avenue
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04
ia

GsErLEMrS,--Please send me five
Walls of Carter's Liver PILLS by
return mail; enclosed please find one dollar.
take pleasure in recommending your Liver
Pills to my neighbors, and would say to the
people in general that Carriers Little Liver
Pills cannot be surpassed for common family
use, and | dare say cannot be cqualed.
J have becn using them for some time,
AMI ind that they arc entirely curing me
OF dyspepsia, and that is more than can
say OF any other medicine have ever used
Respectfully yours, Mus. II. MARTIN.
The Garter medicines TO- sale by VII
iiRma. loiiyar & Walker. Dallas, Texas.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

Bailey's Saline Aperient is white pow
der, and when placed in water, foanls, spar.
kles, and tastes just like soda.water. II is
very cooling aud pleasant, acts gently upon
the bowels, relieves constipation, cures sick
headache, sour stomach and heartburn.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

List. maiden though you're koen Of wilt
Aud though of many chartus possessed.
You II never, y yer mako u hit
Unless with y rly teeth you're blest
Unless upon Ir toilet stand.
Your 5OZ NJ ,TS kent close TO hand.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

s. s. s. stands unrivalcd for blood die.
eases; Is blessing to those who take H..
sund me the address OF doubtful ones. John
8. TaRgart. Salamanca. N Y
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04
AVA, lLI,, January "a, iSsi.--C.RrKa Mrplcisp

Co..
Gents, --Enolosd ind one dollar, Tor
which plvse send by return mail ono bot
Tic Carriers Little Nerve Pills, and for the
balance Carter's Little Liver Fills. The
sample bottle of Liver Pills received from
You some time ago nave been tested by me
and several of my micads, among whom
distributed them, and IN every instance
nave given entigc satisfaction, For sick
headache, they art the medicine-se not
to improve u,em--they ara perfect.
Huen VIII, Ava, Jackson Co., Ills.
For sale by Williams, rolliver II Walker,
druggists, Dallas Texas.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04
Nrnioucd

DEMovsn-M, 1fice IstI, remoscI from
~ Main sttel 70 90 Main street .me.
u. Simpson feb2-al
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04
Mliaselianfons WnmtsI


WANfEH-ro rxehsse srasln< l.pas l.,
W Texas We Npreseat Ea.i lsh esn,,si
esstsnuso po'ehssiuv srs siss lands m exass
pssses wishinS 10 dispose % such would AZ,
' wen y inrnisn m-ist aossras, OF ttlss "a sur.
veyoss eerudesse: Sd statement OF prca ffee ~
AZ insamhrasses; sth, description Of lands ss
10 umser, con,isdty 10 water aud raise "a
lindsey \ RrssteId. Atlorneys -a.-las. ma
- s..ves paiss, ieAas fcbs
IVAN tBp--A s,snstion As travelling ssle.msn
and cigar house, have ii,e In rexa. ~, a
yeas " u acouatatsd all oser the sts,s: en-.
gagsu IN sfo cry hcsiness - YEARS; eve ro,a
,so"inme ,dAtisn For particulars address !. d.
:. : - . .s.s on,ee. iebi.tt
MAN Ho--A good cook Apply 10 1eersc
lso'Ss, ,Smme r'isl Hotel, lonsyiew.
hfANrE3@-t'ne EXP srieneod mana NJ a e
w Hosner 4 Co.'S. Plumbess aud Gas FL.
tiers. SNass
WANfku--A good e,tier aud litter: also !
~ hntclAss tewe,s Tor y millinery estsb-
nShme goos re- onim sisiauons required Al.
S , upper Once. Colorado. Nutshell county.
w ANT En-, Sew good urls 10 ksr,. !, ,,,'
W making ssClancys ispsrtf
WANTEo-lso laen 10 chop wood. and ~
teams TO ha0i wood ard tics on the north-
ess'ern extension % The II, i I q KY. An
Ply ON we works - r. $, kc.s ser, Union Grnye.
,>,,ua vouaty, Texas. Adams, Leonard 4
w - son'sasVnrs lan2i.snt
MYANTsn-Yon to stop at tn NAHUM ~.
~ uoTEL Flsstel'ss eocommoi atious AT
rsasonaolo rate ONLY ONE DOLLAR Ann
rSfSrf'FlVE tsgNrs PER DAl, soard and
ss,g'hs nom = 40 TO " per week, Tho build
w = ntlcA, WIN thFee stairways In case OF ire
iocaled VA The business poltioa OF the city, ouly
one "a ARE from sirogtcar line, and one souaro
| aVm IeAas n Pacific and Missouri paciilc nsuot
| NnnNeucht 10 passengers comiDg or gong ever
sAher road Give usa trial aud bs couvinced
lhnl you can get good acoonm 'dation aud save
rnoney hy stopping nj The National. j. ID. Oar.
eivi'",'1. -..--. ianlp'iyr
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

nor sALE-For cash only, one of the most
! desirable retail grocery buslnesses Ia the
vy 0, DALLAS; stock from $500 10 sS,N0Q loca.
tion the beat IN the oily, ani one OF the best es-
tablished trades An active man can make
from go 10 Y, to1 a year out of IL AddrcssS
with null name Anderson, pallss Herald.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04
THE COURT QUESTION.

The Memorial of Saith County Com.
misSioners 10 the Legislature
With Regard to the Re.
mOyal Of shat
Branch Of the Supreme Court to the
city OF Dallas, North Texas,
L. =. of America.
iSerried Ranks Of Figures. aud Some
Touching Appeals 10 Legisla-
tive Generosity.
Dallas Yas Two Judges, aad shculd be
Satisfied TheIewiih,
Tyler Has Two Railways and a Pros
pec,iye Third.
News Note: Tyler Is a JRdicial
Center"
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

NoR sALE.-A yery desirable resiaencc, hand.
ent neighhothood, convenient To the business
center by Jones' 4 Murphy, No, 700 Nam at
Nok sALE-lmpryed aud upimproypd lands
IN large and small tracts, situated An Dsilas:
ana a'lolning counties, by Jones 4 Murphy
Land Agents, No. fV9 Main st
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

NOhNALE-l., l6l acres 10 DO sold as a whole
or In ctions, III Kent county; part on long
lme, aud part In cash aud other Property, rarc
chance II keat& 90. fcbi'thutaSsun
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

Nun enle--uhlinproyed residence properly in
l. every orion OF the city nv Jotos n Mnr-'
phy, land Agents, No, 700 Main II,
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04
Eor Aatr

ok sALh~-seyerai tvo'story brick business
u houses sou Main aud Kim streets, aud a
number OF desirable vacant lots an sama 49,
The bosine's center, by Jjnos s Murphy. Land
Agpuis, No. ~ NaUst 800 "~
tpk sAhh-lmprY,e Cd srusidenec pIuI ETY. In.
Il inc ceiais on Ross avenue near the Fair
Grounds snd IN every quarter of the city. rang
,ng "9m SsVo Shavo, by Jones and Murphy
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04
Yhystctams.

PHYSICIAN AND sURGEON-D, vortont
office over Exchange bank building; rosiss
aenoe ssS San Jarinto street; telephone q ri.
dencc.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

In addition to the above, common TO both
agd not included within the Dallas circuit,
Tyler would have the following counties;
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

k'oh SALr My entire livery oulnl. vurs.stlpR
OF hor.s carriages ugsits, hain-ss eic.
= good bargain for some enlc ,ptising ran, j
W. Moor trnis Tpxa. tehs Il
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

E'ok sALE-A choice farm OF 40 acros, q miles
i northeast OF Dallas, on the iiockwall road.
idO acres now In cotton VIII sell all or divide
III smaller tracts TO suit purchasers. Also tho
Farming implements horses mules, etc, on the
pace WIN sell on reasonable terms Apply 10
j.. y. Crutchiieid. corner Akard and Jackson
hUeeb, a t26.ff
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

sTsT, p SrRICK'S CiIAPEI.- Corner Woo3
Nud ,'abeli strrss Rev v ouinon, paAlnf,
Eight ocl OK luw mass, 10 o'clOtk hink mae
anil sermon Seats free. IN n 7~'|
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

'oH sALE--My house and lot CORNER OF Koss
l avenue aud johnson street Dallas, Texas,
price, w. 20 For any further Information ap.
ply 10 d r. Fawcett, Agent Tex,m Exprc.s TX
q D. Campbell, iansi' AL
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

WANihu "A good eot,er aud litter: also
~ hstcls.s tewe,s fora millinery estab-
nsnine, soos r. omui -niaions required. Ad.
Texas. fshSS
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

Be-rABEGSAlL LEN +, VHUKUH--kev. s.
4; thomson. pastor. Services ut II H. IN. and
IJO Smnday.school a. $50 y, m Prayer
free, Public cordially Invited. -
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

WANl Ed, Sew good girls 10 harn 81 irt-
-. msssas ssotahoys jansatf
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

exT sriencod hsna vi u X.
w aosiAer Co.'s flnmbcss aud Gas FIT.
S's. MANI
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

LoR sALE-A ver' desirable city lot iu25 MAI,
y Lteet With brick we'll isxaO feet Apply
10 I'M browning, 1857 Elm st. Ian2S
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

ss-DALLA, CI,Y MIssloN--sefyices at tho
courthouse every Sunday, at II O'Clock q m. by
Rev " y Young, Pastor. -
ns-FLoYD STREE I NJ T. CHURCH SOUTH
-Rev llill, pastor Preaching at II a,
m aud p. m, Sabbath school ut $50 A. n.
cordial Invitation ex,ended To all n
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

GTSECoND PREsBYrERtANC HuRCIf--At
me lufciion Of Elm and Live Oak Streets
services every snnd ny at II a. IN. aud -.
Sab Hth.schDu at ga IN, prayer meetIne nm
"Wednesday at 7;3 D. m. = -
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

'Vk ,ALE-rwo good cookstoves. suitable .or
I hltol or restaurants lne No, ~, Charter Oah;
othpt y conuaeiilni 4 Oh aud noariy how rot
ALSO heating stoyefor dining-ro0m; all nearly
new Apply atonoc ~ Delmonlco Restaurant,
o"has ieAhs novll-u
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-04

Dallas 9as Two Judges, aad Fhould be
Satisfied TheIewiih.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-04-11

to wake him up, and he was sick to
his stummick, and ma asked the doc
tor if he would live, and the doctor
analyzed the ketchup and smelled of
it, and told ma he would be all right
if he had a little Worcester sauce to
put on with the ketchup, and when he
said pa would pull through ma looked
awful sad. Then pa opened his eyes
and saw the minister, and said that
was one Of the robbers that jumped
on him, and he wanted to whip the
minister, but the doctor held pas
arms and ma set on his legs and the
minister said he had got some other
calls to make and he wished ma a
happy New Year in the hall, much as
fifteen minutes. His happy New
Year to ma is most as long as his
prayers. Well, we got pa to bed,
and when we undressed him we found
nine napkins in the bosom of his vest
that he picked up at the places were
he had called. He is all right this
morning, but he says it is the last
time he will drink coffee when he
makes New Years calls"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-04-11
Amazed, and Well lie Might.

81 would like to have an adver-
tiscment inserted.
This is slogan that would resur-
rect dead man behind u newspaper
counter, and the clerk turned as if
turned by an electric current and
calculated:
"Yessir; want the top of the col
umn, s'pose?'
"No; | am not particular" said
the advertiser.
want it inside next to leading ed
itorial p
EITHER page will answer" replied
the other.
"Want cut of a deaths head and
marrow bones or a sore leg to make
it attractive, or a portrait of the adj
vcrtiscr with long hair and a turn
down shirt collar?"
"Clear type, black ink and white
paper are good enough for me-" was
the response.
"All right; want head line in type
an inch longer than Jenkins ad. in
next column, or will you have it put
in upside down or your name in
crooked letters like forked lightning
all over it?'
"No; plain, straightforward adj
vertisement in space of four inches
will answer my purpose"
Good enough. Want about ten
inches of notice free, don't you :?
Family history; how your grand
father blacked Washington's boots
once mention of yourself as a mem-
ber of a circulating library, church,
fire company, cooperative store, base
ball club and other important public
positions Z"
The customer said he did not care
for any notice!
"Of course" said the clerk, "you
want free paper sent to each MEM
Der of the firm one for yourself and
the privilege of taking half dozen
copies off the counter every week for
the next year or two because you ad-
vertise p
The gentleman expected to pay for
his paper, and asked the price of the
The delighted clerk figured it up,
and then asked:
"If we send you the bill around in
about year you can tell the boy
when to call again, can't you :"
"No; | will pay now said the
other, taking out roll of bills.
The newspaper mans eyes bulged
as he said: "Ah? you want to ask
for seventy-five per cent. discount and
twenty-five per cent. off for cash?"
81 am ready to pay n fair price for
value received. Tell me your regu-
lar rates and here is your money"
A beatific expression spread over
the wan face of the worn clerk, and
he murmured
stranger, when did you come down,
and when do you expect the Apostles
along mining Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-04-11
A Sad Time New Years Day.

Peck's bad Boy" gives the follow,
ing account of the way his father
made New Years calls:
1--WE had a sad time at our house
New Years. Pa insisted on making
calls and ma and tried to prevent it.
but he said he was of age, and guess.
ed he could make calls if he wanted
to, so he looked at the morning papers
and got the names of all the places
where they were going to receive, and
he turned his paper collar and chang
ed the ends of his cuffs, and put some
arnica on his handkerchief, and started
out. Ma told him not to drink any
thing, and he said he wouldn't, but he
did. He was full the third place he
went to. Oh, so full. Some men can
get full and not show it, but when pa
gets full he gets so full his back teeth
float, and the liquor crowds his eyes
out, and his mouth gets loose and
wiggles all over his face, and he
laughs all the time, and the perspera-
tion just oozes out of him, and his
face gets red, and he walks SO wide.
Oh, he disgraced us all. AT one place
he wished the hired girl happy New
Year more than twenty times, and
hung his hat on her elbow, and tried
to put on rubber door mat for his
overshoes. Az another place he
walked up lady's train, and carried
away a card-basket full of bananas
and oranges. Ma wanted my chum
and me to follow pa and bring him
home, and about dark we found him
in the dooryard of a house where they
have statues in front of the house,
and he grabbed me by the arm, and
mistook me for another caller and in
sisted on introducing me to marble
statue without any clothes on. He
said it was friend of his, and it was
a winter picnic. He hung his hat ON
an evergreen, and put his overcoat on
the iron fence, and / was so mortified
l almost cried. My chum said if his
pa made such a circus of himself he
would sandbag him. That gave me
an idea, and when we got pa home l
went and got paper box cover
ed with red paper, so it looked just
like a brick, and u bottle of tomato
ketchup, and when we got pa up on
the steps at home | hit him with the
paper brick, and my chum squirted
the ketchup on his head. and we de-
his money, and then he yell
ed murder, and we lit out, and ma
and the minister, who was making a
call on her all the afternoon, they
came to the door and pulled pa in.
He said he had been attacked by
band of robbers, and they Knocked
his brains out, but he whipped them,
and then ma saw the ketchup brains
Oozing out his head, and she screamed,
and the minister said: Good heavens
he is murdered and just then / came
in the back door and they put pa on
the lounge, and tied up his head with
A towel to keep his brains in, and pa
began to snore, and when the doctor
came in it took them half an hour