Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-08-08
FEMININE CHIT-CHAT.

LAY your finger on your pulse, and
| know that every stroke some woman is
telling a secret to her neighbor through
a knOt-hole of fence.
OSCAR WILDE is describing the Amer
lean girl to English audiences as ''a
| pretty oasis of unreasonableness in a
| desert of common sense"
A WEST END young lady and her es-
eort were returning from watching an
archery meeting the other day.
F'Would you like to have q bow"
asked the swain. eff 1 had one I
should prefer yew," she answered,
arch-ly.
''MAY 1 have the honor to conduct
your daughter to the supper table?'
asked society gentleman of lady from
the country, who is staying with some
friends whom she is visiting here in Aus
tin. FMay you take her to supper"
was the response; ''why, of course, and
you can take nae too. That's what we
came here for"
A PRIMA DONNA, recently married,
says she loves her husband TOO much to
sing any more. If all girls stopped
singing when they married, any girl
who is taking vocal lessons could per-
suade the young man next door to pro-
pose by simply doing her practicing
when he is at home trying to read, or
something. Philadelphia News.
A FEW days ago lightning struck
woman, IN this state, and stripped off
her clothing In twinkling, rs It were.
The lightning's conduct Will not be ap-
plauded. What the times demand is a
species of lightning that will put the
clothes on woman, in q twinkling,
| when her husband or lover is waiting for
her to dress for church or the opera
NorristooVpa Herald.
'fDEAR me!' exclaimed city girl, who
visited dairy for the first time, ''what
queer looking stuff this isl It looks just
ike yellow paint. What is it?" 'sWhy,
that's cream on top of the milk, Sis"
said the dairyman. Sis that so?" she
asked in establishment. "Why, the
cream use always comes in boxes and
has label, 80 we can tell what it is. :"
The farmer sat right down on the stone
floor and famed himself with a milk
pan.
SHE leaned her head upon his shout
der and said, in her most insinuating
tones: "Charley, dear, I've heard so
much about dudes I want you to get
me one." Charley smiled at her inno-
eence, but resolved to humor it.
would you prefer French dude ?" he
asked. 81 think not" she answered,
squirming coyly. Chow would Ger
man dude suit ?" ''I don't think it
would suit at all; don't understand
German" "Well, what shall it be,
then?" It was her turn to smile as she
said, with an arch look: ga Yankee
dude'n do"
The ladies have been discussing the
different forms of dress trimming, and
the question finally turns upon plated
skirts. They finally appeal to Fogg,
who is present. "Mr. Fogg," says the
spokeswoman, ''what do you think of
plated skirts a? Are they pretty or not ?"
Fogg--"That, I suppose, ladies, is a
matter of opinion; but there can be no
doubt that they are very becoming when
| they harmonic with the wearer."
Chorus OF ladies' Becoming when
they harmonic with the wearer ?"
Fogg-" Yes, plated skirts harmonic
beautifully with plated faces" Ladies
smile, but wonder why they were such
fools as to ask him anything about it.
MISS BIRDIE MoHFN2NTEErrTTiS7 is enc of
| the bellies Of Austin. Her intellect,
however, does not tower into the sub
lime heights reached by Susan B. An
thOny, but, to use the cold language Of
truthfulness, she is very much the same
kind of a young lady as Gus De Smith is
young man. Not long since he pro-
posed matrimony. He proposedin good
faith, In a solemn, impressive manner,
upon which Miss Birdie inaugurated a
giggle, until Gus was very much dis
gusted, and arising from his knees, his
anger found vent In words. He was
mad, too-too mad almost to speak.
''Miss Hennepin," he finally calculated,
"with me this is no laughing matter.
Why should you see anything ridiculous
about it % ''You must excuse me Mr.,
De Smith-really you must, for am not
laughing at you; really, now, I am not.
I am laughing at ma Mas SO funny,
you know. Really, she is just too funny
for any use. Yes, I was laughing at
ma" SAT your map" ''Yes, you see,
ma she told me only this morning,
Birdie, you are SO green that some dom
key will take you yet,' and here you
come" But he was gone. He was
in the past tense. It was he who banged
the door so violently. 81 wonder"
cooed the suddenly deserted Birdie, ct
wonder, now, really, if he is offended at
what ma said. But, then. ma always
was too awful funny for any kind of
use. "-Te1oS Sift5ngS.
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