The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-02-01
rho Model no,el U.erk.

! . = " Is
The model hotel hotel clerk is young
man who has originally created to all
on emperor's throne or adorn duke
dom. but when he grew up. there being
fewer thrones and dukedoms than there
were emperors and dukes, he was tenn
porarily forced to take aposition behind
hotel register. His chief characteris-
tics are dignity of bearing, radiant gor.
geousness of apparel, haughtiness OF
manner, and jewelry. His principal
duties consist of hammering on the cali
bell, in handing guests the wrong keys
to their rooms, and Of keeping supply
of toothpicks at the end Of the desk.
When all his time is not taken up III
the performance of these N1duous duties,
that lie does not know whether the
north.bound train leaves ut 3 p. Al. or
not, and if tho guest insists Oh entloing
1t out OF him, he was probably hand
HIM last years official railroad time
table.
When stranger comes in on late
train, jams his valise down Oh the coun-
ter, aud approaches the register, the
hotel clerk, in a preoccupied and aus
tere manner. turns the register and
hands the stranger pen u pen that
has an impeachment in its legs, catches
in the paper and splutters fragments Of
the guests name all over "yesterday's
arrivals" The clerk, after turning
around the register and examining the
signature to seu If 1t is genulno, oxpres-
ses some dou bt as to there being W.
cant room in the house. Tue stranger
says le is bound to have n room. The
clerk retires behind the desk, and. after
consulting somo pigeon. holes, concludes
that the gentleman may have No I, 1872.
He writes some hieroglyphics OIL the
register, and then he talks for half an
hour with the porter and tho baggage
man about the trunk OF the gentleman
III No. 40 having got mixod with bag-
gage belonging TO the gentleman Ill No.
Ga Whe he gets that matter arranged
sits down to polish and admire the
long nall that he is cultivating OH his
little finger, and forgets the gentleman
that has rented No. J 1872, until he is
made aware of his existonoe by all i'm
patient tap OIL tho counter. With the
air OF II martyr. and sign that express
ses the fact that lie considers tho whole
travelling public his enemies, ho says
"Ahl would you like to go to your
roomP" There is about as much hospi-
tality i'll his tone rs there is in the voice
of a bulldog when somebody treads ON
his tail. 1t is not intended to be hos
pitable. 1t is intended to impress on
tho mind Of the stranger the fact that
although he-tho olerk-is passing poor
on $12. 80 week and board, yet he ls
proud md Is merely filling tho ignoble
position ho how occupies until he can
como into his dukedom. which includes
among lts perquisites yacht Oh the
coast and shoo ting lodge in the high
lands of Scotland.
Tho John showed tho gentleman to
No. l 1872.
No matter how crowded hotel is,
the hotel clerk always finds ono room
left for the late arrival. When tho lat.
ter hicks about it, when he is leaving
next day, because it was on the fifth
floor, and was furnished with nothing
but bed, II bar of soap. and crack Ill
tho ceiling, the clerk tells him thut If
he had only been staying another day.
hn D,,,,1l L,u., IVA
fact, the best room in the house, which
would bo vacated after breakfast, by q
gentleman WHO was leaving OH tho noon
train. To our certal" knowledge, the
gentleman has been leaving that excel
lent-that "besr room Ill tho house"
every tomorrow for the last twonty
years.
The hotel clerk is said to be distinctly
related to tho railroad ticket clerk, but
this must DC IL mistake, having lis Oil
gin Ill the fact that there are certain
traits and atrocities of character COM
mon TO both. Tao hotel clerk has no
relations. Not one man III thousand
can remember ever having seen hotel
clt rk's father or uncle.
The night clerk is not 80 gorgeous or
inclement as the day clerk. He wears
smaller finger ring and larger boot.
His duties are not so onerous rs arc
those OF the day clerk. He sleeps in a
chair near the stove or roads novels all
night, and his most important duty Is
to wake up and speed the parting guest
who goes off Oh the morning train.
The hotel clerk has much to try him,
and perhaps we would find many ex-
cuses for what we consider his exaspera-
ting peculiarlties. If wo stood on his
side Of tho ro lister and had tho expert
ence Of how II feels to bo a targetior tho
grumbllnR, the fault, tiudiug, and tho
interrog"tlons OF tho average traveller
who lives OH corn bread and bacon ut
home, but howls loud and long, because
he does not get surtlo soup and four
kinds of pls three times q day whom he
stops at q hotel.