The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-06
To Husbands.

your income. 1t is her income as wei
as yours. John Stuart Mill was a cold
blooded philosopher, not a warm
blooded sentimentalist; and John Stuart
Mill says that the natural division Of
labor in the household, which assigns
to the husband the earning of the
money and to the wife the administra.
ton OF the home, is an equable division
of labor, giving to the two, ordinarily
an about equal share. To dole out
money grudgingly to your wife is more
than ungenerous; it is unjust. To dole
it out at all is unjust The treasury is
common treasury. The property
ought to be common property. You
and she are, commercially speaking.
partners. She has right to reason
able proportion of your income; to
have it regularly, to have it without
hesitation, reluctance, or question; to
spend it in her own discretion; and not
to be called upon to account for each
dollar before she receives another. We
have received lately several letters on
this subject on behalf of wives subjected
to petty and unintentional despotism
by their husbands. Some of these let
tiers one cannot read without a heart
ache, nor publish without the hazard of
making the despotism worse. But
here is one which we may publish with
out violating the sanctity of wifely re-
serve. Read it, sir; then look into
your wife's accomplishing eyes, and
see what, in the light of this story, they
may have to say to you of an injustice
patiently borne by her and unconscious
ly inflicted by you. We hope that this
story may set you thinking If it does,
you will perhaps be ready then to con-
slider practical counsel, how best to
avoid the irritation of the money ques-
ton in your own home life between
your wife and yourself.
81 had friend, a lifelong friend,
who was early left to her own devices,
which were very sensible devices; with
a nice property at her sole disposal, her
father having died when she was quite
young. As we met from time to time
and were on most intimate terms, the
course of her life was familiar to me,
even after her marriage, which was not
an early one. Her life seemed happy
and prosperous. used to think, Her
children rise up and call her blessed;
husband also, and he praiseth her. You
would have said that all went we'll with
her; a Christian home, health, wealth,
a host of friends, a good position, and
much respect: what more could be de-
siredP And yet, seeing my friend more
intimately in those later DAYS, | saw
deeper lines, not of age, and cloud of
care that was not natural; a heavy, dull
look of encouragement when her face
was at rest, for which there seemed no
outward cause. | was puzzled till, at
one time, when on visit at the house,
there was evidently scarcity of money.
The scale of living was liberal, and
there was no stint; her husbands bust
ness was prosperous; though did hear
(peoplc will talk that he was much
given to unwise speculation Twas no
traitor, | am not now, but it was all
plain and it came out to my unwilling
eyes. All my friends property was
swallowed up. 1t was not all lost, but
it was beyond her control; the very
house was mortgaged. One could not
see why, for the business required no
very great capital, and they were still
called, and were, rich.
'There was the rub: to be called rich,
and to be poor; for my friend never had
enough. She was more than careful in
her personal expenditure, but she was
obliged to be liberal when it was ex-
pected of her-if she could be! But
there was the constant grind. For she
had become dependent on her husband
for all the money she had and used,
and he was narrow. 1t was unjust, it
was wrong, and there was no need of
it; but it is not in the nature of some
men to give up what they once grasp.
Of course she must have money, but
never received quite enough; it must be
asked for, and that is not easy; and it
was given grudgingly. Habits grow
and strengthen, as we all know, and
therefore there was small hope of i'm
provement, but rather the contrary. l
did not find all this out in day, or a
year, but the revelation came, and with
it an assurance of the wisdom of a law
by which women can keep the control
of that which is their own. To be sure,
we udfc huON IL SClIOio
ings arise when man chose to be dis
turbed because a woman would trust
herself, but not her money, with him;
but he never tried the feeling of abso-
lutte dependence!
& "This is all; no help came to my
friend. The lines deepened on her face,
the cloud on her brow fell heavier as
time went on; nothing could be said or
done / took it for granted she had
said all that was wise; but some men are
rocks, or something harder. And all
this time she was defrauded, was losing
the sweet privilege of giving, as she
would have done, wisely and well, and
of that which was her own.
"'Story? God bless you! have none to tell.
''This was all; and it means, not sep
arate interest, but a common interest
If man will trust a woman with hi:
own life, his home, his children, surely
he can trust her with money, the minor
thing. The past has taught us
"'How evil is wrought by want of thought
AS well as want of heart.