St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1883-12-07
SquibS.

Tilden has the lead-but Butler has
the BRASS Burlington Free Press.
The generous give according to their
means. Others give according to their
meanness.
"Aunty, vat makes the little baby
cry SO ? Do it want its mudder 7" eyes
dear, and its fodder, too"
IIfge~ ;rmbIin6 II,itr -,ud rIv1.r,.ro-I...,4
medical attendance very few deaths
occurred during the year"
Young lady (catechizing the children
on the plaques of Egypt: "And what
became of the plaques of lOcusts 7" A
pause. Then small boy at bottom sud-
denly "Please, miss, | know John the
Baptist ate them"
Maker of musical Instruments, cheer
fully rubbing his hands: "There, thank
goodness, the bass fiddle is finished at
last !" After pause Zach, Himmel,
if haven't gone and left the glue-pOt
inside !"
1t was on the piazza. GLOW beauti-
fully that woman sings" said one lady
to another, who was i'll gorgeous attire
and blazing with diamonds. ais she a
mezzo- soprano ~ "No, guess not. |
think she is Swede," replied the 9th
| er.
"If there is such thing as justice
in this world, ] mean to have it," is
what the burglar remarked as he left,
with his booty, the house of the law
yer who had charged him $500 the day
before for clearing him when under ar
rest for house breaking. - YOnkers
Statesman.
The Englishman insisted upon call
ing it Eluggage," and the American
was equally loyal to "baggage," FOgg,
wishing to he courteous to both, re-
marked that there was much to say on
the luggage question, but he never
carried any luggage himself. He did
not succeed in cOnciliating either En-
glishman or American Boston Tran
script.
The other day rather good-looking
young fellow went into a dry goods
store in Bangor, according to the Com
mercial, and walked up to one of the
, lady clerks, when the following con
: versation occurred: 81 want to get
four yards of wide ribbon for IA girl"
"All right, sir. What color do You
want ~ 81 don't know. | Just want
t but we had ought to give her some col
4 or that will suit her. Is she ii blonde
= or brunette p "She amt neither
e she's hired girl"
:. A gentleman met an uncertain ac-
e quaintance, who said: "I'm little
II short, and should like to ask you con
e undrum in mental arithmetic" "PrO
/ ceed," replied the gentleman. "Well,
: said the short man, ''suppOse you haC
If 80 in your pocket, and | should ash
you for 81. How much would remain 7
# "Ten dollars" was the prompt reply.
GLOW many horse power has this en-
) gine 7" asked "a stranger of cOlore'
man who was inspecting the new en-
st gine that runs the Siftings press. Th
> colOred man to whom the question wa
h addressed scratched his head under hi
= hat, and replied 81 dunno, boss, hoy
many hoss power hits got but hecr
u it tuck six mules and truck to fetc
/" it from the depot"
-, Overhead in a barber shop MOder
~ Elijah, who inclines to he facetiOus-
~ .T'm getting to he pretty bald, amt !
~ Guess you'll have to cut my hair ia
a, about half-prce, hereafter, eh ?" Ton
~ - sorial artist, who is equal to the enel
- gemcy-'Oh, no, sir; we always charg
~ double when we have to hunt for til
:; hair 9''- Lowell Citizen.
. 81 want to get a dogs muzzle," sal
"A little fellow entering Il hardwaI
store. els it for your father!" aske
re the cautious stOre-keeper. "NO, {
in course it isn't, replied the little fello'
W Indignantly, ''it's for our dog" ri
1T store keeper has resolved to he mol
tie guarded in the future when he ash
customers questions,