The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1883-10-05
Paragranhs of WIG.

lazily turning in bed to the sound of his
Own name, nuttersd in wrathful shouts;
tits early, isn't it?"
II don't know whether it is or not"
roared his father; "but amp
And before the plant skate-strap was
half tired, the boy made up his mind
that it the old gentlemen had been q
little surtier, the hastinado wouldn't
have lasted half thron .h the sentence.
But it lasted quite long enough as it was.
Not one of the cackling old hens in
this country appear to know or care that
Florida turtle will lay 14o eggs in day
without making the least bit of noise.
The hen fuss over one little egg is alb.
surd.
mamma" said little Covington boy
"what does 'heluffa' meant" "Why,
my child, I don't know. never heard
such word. Where re; did you hear it,"
mo.pnr said heard h w S tell Ms su 5ons,
that church was helufa place to go
when the fishing was so e ne."
A Chesterfield in tatters: ISIS the lady
of the house in?" asked a tramp of the
servant who rang the door-bell of one of
the stateliest mansions in Austin. "De
lady OBJ de house don't come to de door
to talk wild de likeobyou." 'Then, said
the tramp, elevsting the remnant of a
hat. with grace Chesterfield might
have envied, "tell the lady of the house
q gentleman wishes to speak with her.in
the parlor."
A knock-down argument: Mrs. Percy
pol1ouosno T,,hhn hoo hoI fol
bad luck-poor fellow! Mr.. P. B. T.
What rubbish! Bad luck means bad
management. A man of sense keeps his
wits about him and his eyes open, is
prepared for bad luck and sees it COM
to get out of it's way he deserves-Mr.
P.B. 7. is hit by SNOWFALL and knocked
into the middle of next " elk.
"Well, sir, where do you work, Sam.
uel?" inquired Chicago Judge of a COL
ored prisoner, yesterday.
II W ork in bank, sah."
"What under sun is your position in a
bank?"
"I'se teller. sah."
"What bank is this you speak of, and
what are your duties as teller?"
"It's Al Hankin's ferry bank. and I
tells the gamblers that they can find any
sort o. game they's spilin' fur, sah."-
Chicago Eye.
"Ought clergymen wear mustaches?'
asks Methodist Advocate. Why not?
We should think minister of the Cos
pei might be permitted to wear a mus
tache, when Lydia Tompson is allowed
to wander about with one bracelet.
Certainly, parson, brace up and wear
mustache like King Humbert's. if you
don't object to looking like "thirty
days after taking" advertisement.
A lady once wrote Roscoe Conkling
note when he was in the Senate, asking
permission to bring her little girl to see
him. He replied in courteous note,
naming the hour at which he would re.
ceive her. At the hour named the lady
and child stood before him. "Mary,"
said the mother to her9ceild, "this is the
great Senator Conkling." eyes, little
Mary" said Lord Roscoe, with Jovian
smile meant to be encouraging, "but
remember" solemnly lifting his fore.
finger, ''that there is q greater than
Senator Conkling."
The girls in one ofthe large New York
tobacco houses have struck. Oh, we'll,
that strike is a failure at the start. for
being out of work not girl will havana
one to back her. That 's'nough Of that.
Give us sneezy one. At-chew!
Judge Richie, of Frederick. Md, has
sixteen beautiful and accomplished
daughters, only one of whom is married.
This is what the French would cali an
embarrassment of Ritchies.
"Young Politician" writes: "Why
does state have alegislature?" My dear
boy, it doesn't. The legislature has the
state, every time. Has it by the throat,
by q large majority. Has it by the pock-
et-book. Has it on its back.-Somervill
Journal.