Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-12-21
CHOW DEM SNAKES CANE HEAII.
Uncle Eph's Account Ofthe Advent of
Serpents In America.

Uncle Eph, on whose Uranium the
whitened wool OF near threescore years
and ten hard winters stood erect, sat the
other morning by the barrel stove in a
barber shop, says the Cincinnati En-
Quirer. Business was dull and somebody
asked how snakes ever came to this count
ry. Then Uncle Eph spoke up and said
"Thar's some secret history in dat |
spec you young bucks don't know muffin
bout an now, as you has aggravated the
question, I'll tell yer what my old Congo
mudder dun tole me- Yer see, ober dar
snakes is kinder gods. Dey worship EN-;
don't kill EN- like day do nowadays, but
feed EN- in temples and take good care on
EN-. De snakes, day knowed dis. and
wouldn't bite black men. but if black man
was attacked, why snakes itc for him list
like dog for his master Wall, one day Il
great many hundred years ago, de devilish
Portugeos had been terrible lad on de
Congo coast, and carried off several ship
loads chock full of poor black folks and
sold EN- for slaves. Thar came one night
a big ship dat dey seed about sondown.
and eberybody knowd it was a slave ship.
and dat more niggers would be stole next
day. So de priests and chief men goes
into de snake house and talks dis here
thing ober. What could dey do? DE
snakes lays all round sleeping wd dere
bellies full, but dey hcered all dat WIS
said, and dey just put up job. Dey
crawled out Of de place into lie darkness
and down to de ocean they Jumped in
(for snakes swim like fish and male fol
de ship. Of course lie crew WIS all takin
a sleep, rs dey knew dey had desperate
bad work for de next day. Making Nc
noise, dey crawled up de ships chains,
over de gunwales, and Il great big cobra
grabs de man on watch aud stunG him tc
death in n second. On come de rest Of dc
serpents, big and little snakes, and dcy
Just took possession of de ship. Dey
crawled down de hatcliway, foun' all de
crew in de fore cabin; de boas squeezed
EN- to death, de vipcrs spit on 'em and
pizened EN- and de rutlcsnakes bit 'clr
like de debil. Course ,ley died arorc dey
khowed' what hit EN-. Dey got hol' of dl
captin and officers and stung EN- down like
mad Den dey dragged de corpscs up OF
deck and hung EN- to dc spars, dn yard
arms, and cross-bars. DE cupting de,
hung TO de iibboom on de larboard side.
Every snake took ticular pleasure il
sticking his sting and pizen into IL
corpses. DE weather was terribly hot
twas right on de 'quator, and when III
people woke up on shore dey looked on
at de ship and doan sec nobody movin
about, dey wondered wlar Portugces gon
to, but 'spose dey got drunk and doal
woke up yet. Oh, but de snakes wa
habin high ole time, Dey foun' sun
Holland gin on board and Lord how de
Tapped it up Den dey got mad, and de
grabbed the corpses aud mopped up ii
floor of de deck wild EN-, and frowed .er
up in de sails, and dances roim', hissin
and raisin' de debil. DE wind blew lii,
n serrocco back to lie shore. and made d
woman and children sick, and de- dogs t
howl, and de buZzlrds to come .Gl II,
roun Last storm cnm up, ORC i dos
} li'tnin' and thunder storms that d y bay
dere. De ole ship rocked and soleake
' and swayed round in de ocean like
feather in gale. DE snakes clung to d
masts, and let her have plenty of lee room
s An ole boa constructor reared upon Ii
tail, and hissed out his orders to de ode
9 snakes Reef de sails, Man de top-mast
, Let go de flying iibboom.'"
'Oh what are you givin' us. Snake
Q cant talk" shouted one of the BARRIERS.
a Old Eph rose from his chair Loo
' heah, young man, you say de Bible lie
3 LOU Bet oul Heuii. loan lie Bible say d
Q snake says to the woman, Eat dat apple
g and didn't she eat it? Well, l guess if
q woman could understan' snake. an
v mind him, dat de snakes know dere ow
e language. Well, the snakes set sail. an
v dey sailed de blue seas ober. De storl
Q wen down and de ship gone clar OF
sight. Dere was plenty to eat on boar,
o And when de odder ships coming long =,
a dis ship dey thought it was n pirate shil
n and de stink of dc corpses was SO gre,
q dat de birds died dat flew ober de shi,
and de sharks even had n stomach ach
/" Well, dat voyage lasted 1896 days by {
!. quadrant, and last dey landed on de Goa
q of Florida. DE snakes disembarked M
spread themselves all over both Mort
p and South America. Rattlcssakes, col
e perbeads, vlpers, hoopsnakes and adder
l. garter, green and GELS went north, viii
o de cobras, boa constructors, ,anacondae n,
!. pythons all crossed the Isthmus of Pan
a ma and settled in South America. Dc
" settled up the country Thoroughly, ~
v been livin' heah ever since. Now, dat n
Ie de African count, which is handed dow
Al to future generations by tradishun, n,
It's Just as true as preachin in lie Pent
80 teuch.
a Oscar Wilde, i is said, is going to he ma
IEtA Ia