New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-03-21
WIT AND HUMoR.

exchange Herald. 81 7S RS
"a Newark, Ohio, editor is known to
wear No. y boots. Is this y journal
istic feat?
All men a,e not cranks who write
original poetry. As much cannot be
said of those who read IT.
What is the difference between an old
tramp and a feather bedP THERE'S a
material difference. One is hard up
and the other is soft down.
AS a. harmless initiation into the use
OF firearms, pretty girls might practice
shooting chances through double barrel
ed opera glasses. he Judge.
The mother Of Josh Billings is 90 years
old. She evidently resolved to live until
her son learns how to spell. Norris
torn Herald. I.
Some genius has invented a machine
to play pianos. This will give Ameri-'
can girls a chance to help mother hang
out the clothes Monday afternoon.
A Russian claiming to be a nobleman
has been arrested in Boston for getting
money under false pretenses. Although
speaking seven languages, he was I'M
able to tell the truth in any one Of them.
They found crazy man in the State.
House gallery, the other day, and the
attendant respectfully said: - You've
made mistake, sir. Your place is
down stairs. = Boston, Post.
Mr.. Adam sued an Oswego paper for
libel, asking for $4,000 and gets $5.
This is a terrible slur on the paper, as it.
would indicate that when it went in to
lie about man it could only damage
him SIS worth.
The great disadvantage Of the coun-
try EDITORS doing his own errands and
sweeping out is that it gives his rival
the chance to slur the first mentioned
mans paper by saying it is edited by
the office boy. Boston Post. IS. s#5
"A fashion item says that the favorite
color Of undressed kids for street wear
Is dark tan. The fashion originated in
Africa, where all the undressed kids
seen in the streets are dark tan color.
NorristoaD1a Herald
Christmas day they had an 6 Eistedd-
fod' in Chickering Hall, New York, at
which one man read an ..Englynion, 9
and another recited a ssAwdi, and then
the whole crowd stood up and sang,
Hen wlad fy nhadhan, and then the
roof Of the hall fell in. Balrli,sgto,,
Haa0keye.
Col. Mooney doesn't like his new col
ored domestic so well as he had antici-
pated. He complains that she is alto.
gether too convivial for his taste. When
anybody asks aim to explain, Mooney
says, ssShe is never at home evenings;
always going somewhere. She is, in
fact, a regular Dinah out, & q
.sSteam is a great thing, Z remarked q
French traveller in railway carriage to
his vis-a-vis. $50 it is, = was the reply;
: y owe my fortune to il" Monsieur
is manager Of q company?' NO.
An engineer, perhapsP No; / have
lost a number of rich relatives by rail
road accidents ...5
s.Afriend of mine, . said Lord Erskine,
suffered from wakefulness, and vari-
GUS methods were tried to send him to
sleep, but in vain. At last his physi-
clans resorted to an expedient which
succeeded perfectly. They dressed him
in a Waterman s coat, put = lantern into
and--he was asleen - ten minutes :
A advert;sen,apt = Tia NS auG ;y,r,,
San says: IAN errand boy wanted;
only a live boy need apply" It is well
to be explicit about matters of this kind.
There is nothing more heartless than to
B advertise for boys indis criminatelY, and
have perhaps twenty or thirty dead ones
apply for the position, only to be disap,
noInfed. s., 47'g
! +. 4 ! tho F,aroh hal, ..yvb.+ ara x,,,,
bara t4astnn When nnlv two -, weeks az. - -
Won bnried the wife Who loved ~, von So &
fondly and to whom, YOU seemed So de.
yotedpn .sWell. and where would you
sss E n. s So
WISH Wis., me to be? : II do does seem 70 mo
that i had lost the companion OF my
life l should be somewhere else, weep
!, over her grave? ! know, but
the cemetery closes at shutdown. z
els the lady Of the house in p'' asked
tramp Of a servant who rang the door
bell Of one u. the stateliest mansions in
Austin. de lady 81 de house don't
come 70 &c door TO talk Wid de like ' %
you. Illhl 'e1, SAID the tramp, elevat-
( ing ing the remnant mn OF hat with 2 grace
Ghes ste, f might have enyied, tell
tne lazy q uhe mouse gentleman o :. wish
es 70 speak Win her IN the Parlor.
a little conversation overheard by
the Boston Transcript: 81 don't care
what anybody says !, z remarked Mrs,
Fogg, warmly. MI, Bolus is Q good
doctor, and shall employ him as long
i ~ I live, YGTy likely. Tem rem g 9
Fcggi q believe it is the same with all
has patients. They all employ him as
long as they hve--that is to say, until
he gets through with them. .
The Denver Tribune pleads thus for
8 the use Of tobacco:s Prince Charles. 81
Prussia, diedweek before last at the he adj
vanced age Of eighty three. He had
been addicted to the inveterate use Of
tobacco for sixty years. The two-year