The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-02-25
For the HERALD
a LEGEND OF SULPHUR
WILLIE.

One summer day, old Satan lay
Upon pile of burning fuel,
Hoping to drive a chill away
With broiling birthstone as d Cruel.
Satan, the bold, had caught cold;
He said twas drafts from sulphur blsZ-
ing;
he tried his bes: his nerves 10 hold,
But how he shivered Twas amazing.
It seems Old Nick had meier been sick,
Nor ever had q bit of trouble,
But now his conscience gan to prick
He feared that He'll was but bubble.
Hsggsrd he limps, and calls his imps;
DEVILS" says he, ''Im tired of burn
ing;
OF other things I've had glimpse.
Ny heart for other things ia yearning J"
Thousands Of years. go it appears,
Though roasting sinners by the mil
lions,
Have added little 10 their fears,
For still they're coming in by billions
It's clear to me the people see
Something in He'll that's in the fashion,
To come, they nearly all sgree,
In fact, it seems ruling passion"
"Why do they come? This ia no home
For any kird Of mar or woman.
Who sends them thus from earth to
roam?
1t surely cannot be human!"
Said Sulphur Joe: II think know;
One day hen was playing stoker
l struck the furnace such blow
A hole made, with the large poker.
Out of this hole fellow stole,
And pretty soon, off goes another;
They went SO fast and looked so droll
That concluded not to bother.
AS out they'd poke, each wore cloak
Made from the gases in the heaters;
Of course it might have been but smoke
That thus surrounded these retreaters.
One went away; l heard him say:
Let us go back and start preaching;
He'll can't catch US again this way,
Let's send all there who doubt our
teschingu"
Old Satan got little hot,
And at this his imps began to below;
"My business soon will go to pot
You've nearly ruined me, young fell
low!
Through your mishaps. the very chaps
That most deserved thorough broil-
ing,
Fave started new He'll perhaps;
l swear you've set my blood boil
ing"
The imps all knew that this was true;
These came deserters now were rivals
In fact, reports from not few
Showed that on earth they'd held
''reViVsls."
Old SstaB swore, and prsnced, snd tore
At last be saw that he'd been frying
Those whom deserteEs sent down lower
Whila they'd been getting rich by
lying.
"For many years." he ssid. with tears,
~ G been IN honest, manly rooster;
at lsat, Accor ling With my fears,
Pm used by each dogmatic boaster.
If what they preach, and what the5
teach
Be not accepted by ell peoples,
& place in He'll is picked for each;
Downward, not up, should point theil
steeples.
Pm wholly sick" said square old Nick
Poor humans, l will cook no longer
For sinners now seem just as thick;
In fact think they're growing
stronger"
A loud ,shrill yell resounds through Hell 4
a train at Sulphurville's arriving,
The imps are dsshing round pell-meli,
To roast the few who're etill suryi-
wing.
a loud "Halloa, +" from down below
The imps st once all set TO listening:
''Hell is adjourned, I'd have you know.
Said Luclfsr, his eyes al g!istening
Said the Arch-Lisr, "Put on! the fire;
At last I've quit this snner-bsking,
I'll go to earth and build spiFe,
pts time that l my ease was taking
| The imps afraid, fell down and prayed
To 20 with Satan, Lord and Master,
But he furious order made
Throw sulphur on make fres burr
fssterw
"Now, boys" said he, you've followe,
For ages past. Osn you do better2"
NO." they all cried: "we'll stay wit
We're tied TO thee with willing fetter.
"Bravol" said Nick; then here's
trick,
IN jump into toe sulphur flaming.
And you come after, Come! Come
Quickn"
And In he went; the inps not blaming
He struck the lake; FIRE fake
Big as world, was then exploded;
The imps from He'll their journeys take
Although little discommeded:-
. No sulphur store; He'll is no more,
The DEVILS dead: his imps out grazing
But still az in the days Of yore
The men in cloaks say He'll is blszini
These men sll know, bni dsren't say S
That HELPS myth. to scare the FOOLS
With men Of sense He'll has no show,
r And that's whet sometimes max
them ulish.
It's quite as well to Danish He'll,
1t scsres no gentlemen or ladies';
For all at last have learned quite we'll,
There is no He'll, there is no Hades!
ARNEs
Salt Lake City, Feb. 22d, 1888.
BRIGHT'S DISEASE Of the XII
neys. Diabetes and other Diseases