The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-03-10
Found at Last.


in the search of the egg of Christophe,
Columbus has become known beyond
the worm eaten antiquarian association
for the discovery of the rarities, I have
been unremittingly pursued by persons
desirous of my service in the special de.
tective business.
] A good natured but rich old virtuoso
called upon me one morning and intro.
| duced himself. asked him whether ]
could do anything for him, and he said
he hoped so, but could, perhaps, tell
better after he had made his wants
! known.
'sI have lived" said he, "a long time
upon this planet have had unusual OPP
portunities and means of seeing the
world-and I am pretty well assured
that there are few rare or curious things
that have not come to my knowledge.
Your fame, continued he, s'has
reached my ears, and, as you have per-
formed many apparent impossibilities, it
is fair to infer that you are capable of
accomplishing more. I desire. sir, to
come across man who never told lie.
Can you furnish him?"
Indeed" replied I, "you pay very
high compliment to my powers. I have
no hesitation in confessing that the task
of finding person of any reasonable age
who is guiltless of falsehood is very
difficult one"
Eyes, sir" my visitor returned, sit is
q job OF unsurpassing magnitude. There
is only one instance in history, l believe,
of a man who never told a lie, but he
died long ago, and his great virtue died
within him. He exhausted the subject. .
Il presume" said I, ssyou insist upon
an sout-and- d-outer'-that is, one who
never told even the slightest fb, either
in joke or in an innocent, philosophical
manner"
Eyes, SIR he replied, IT want the
genuine article"
After few more remarks between us,
my customer withdrew. I had bound
myself to find man who had never told
lie.
Atlast. after spending time, money and
health. without the remotest symptom of
success, I began TO feel strong suicidal
tendencies. I was within about weeks
journey from home. Dark, indeed, had
been my returning path, an now the
deepest gloom weighed down my spirits.
| seemed to me that nature was given up
to the sin of lying to greater extent
than had ever dreamed Of.
But somebody has said that cit is all
ways darkest just before day" have
the best reason for subscribing to the
perfect correctness of that apothegm.
With what iDdescribable feelings. then.
of triumphant Joy did I send off the fol-
lowing telegraphic dispatch to my friend,
the virtuoso:
Complete fruition has crowned nv
work! have this day found the object
of my search. No doubt of its genuine
ness. What shall do with him?"
In short tina response was re-
turned, in which, after being congratu-
lated, was diIects to bring my man to
him. .sparing neithe money nor influence
for that purpose.
/ consulted with the gentleman and
obtained his assent to the proposition.
He was perfectly willing to go with me,
and he evlnced as much interest in this
novel business as either my customer or
myself.
found him comfortable apartments
at one OF Cur best hotels, and sent for
my employer. He came without the
least delay.
And SO. my dear fellow. yoa have
found him?"
II have, replied, ..but it was after
most arduous search" And after telling
him where to find him, my delighted
customer withdrew, while / sought that
rest which my long-worked and over
tired system required. slept that night
as one covered with laurels.
had very early caller next morning
In my anxious customer. He quietly
took q seat by my side, wearing upon his
face the most curious, solemn expression
| ever saw on human physiognomy.
He placed his hand upon my knee and
looked into my face. Pausing mo-
ment, he said:
What is the matter with that nan?"
Nothing, hope,'' said /, "to his
discredit. He hasn't been lying to you,
has he?''
II think not" said my visitor-and
the frozen face melted little. tsWhv,
SIR, the fellows as dumb as an oysterl''
That's correct" said I. ..And he
has been ever since he was born.
Here I continued, suiting the action
to the word, lis the ioiat affidavit of his
father and mother to that effect. He has
never spoken word in his life. Ergo,
he has never told a lie.' -