Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-11-21
BRIGHT BIIS.

ELEPHANTS BREATH ought to be
str0ng color.
TRAIN up a child in the way he should
20" and then look out for yourself wnen
he gets going.
Col. BUTTON, Of New York, wants to
find a hole as Sergeant-at-Arms OF the
next House Of Representatives.
"YEs. my wife is a good poker player"
saws Long Island farmer; and then ne
adds: ''She is also just as handy Win the
longs
YES said the Texas man, ''Ivoted
for Tom Ochiltree, and would again, put
I'm hanged if Ia play poker with him
unless he tied up his sleeves"
THE Observation-Disclosures people in Mis-
souri, are very polite. They say Gov.
Crittenden would appear to much better
advantage as private citizen.
GERMAN PROFESSOR: wv hat couple
Of bonnie little children. dear Baroness
Twins. l suppose?' Baroness: y on
have guessed rightly Professor; Are
they both yOurs?"
THE slaving on OF hands cure is not
the failure some persons believe IL TO De-
MANY a wise and excellent mother mas
used it with great success in the treat
ment of a refractory Otfspring.-Hsddte-
torn Transcript.
=. : MR.. MCJ ESSI + at EviiN- ~ -
n man of a servant who answered the bell.
s.Ab. SIR replied the maid. ''he is dead
and was buried day before yesterday
sDaad. is he-er-well, then l won't dis
turb him. Some other day will do Just as
WE'LL
SULLIVAN, the pugilist, spends his
money. it is said, as fast as he earns II,
and frequently is so hard up that he
pawns his watch for temporary loan
with which to conclude spree. Instead
of going to the ant the slugger sometimes
goes to the uncle.
No. Young man. it doesn't hurt parti-
Gle to sow your wild oats. Go ahead and
sow as many as you wish. But IT'S the
gathering in Of the crop that VIII make
YOU howl. And you have to gather 1t, too.
If YOU don't it gathers you, and one Is a
great deal worse than the other.
AN exchange says: "Eve didn't lose
much time because she had no looking
glass TO be running to every half hour"
If we believe tradition, grandma was a
rather good looking lass HERSELF remarks
Burdette. as he softly chuckles to himself.
-Ne1r York Commercial AdrertlSer.
Mrs. SHODDY to shOpman: SHOW me
a thermoneter-One of your best" Shop
man. s.Tbis. mann. is one Of our finest
| Venetian glass and the best quicksilver"
| Mrs. Shoddy: "Silver. That would be
nice for the kitching. but want one for
nv boOdOre. Haven't you one with quick
| gold? -'--N0ntredI Witness.
WHY does that gentleman rise from his
| seat? Because he gets out at the next
| station. But we have not got near the
next station yet. beg your pardon.
/ From an American point of view we are
very near it. 1t is less than mile away.
| See. he rushes wildly toward the door;
| and now he is on the platform. Is he not
| in danger? The only danger he breads is
| the danger of losing One-quarter OF a
| second.
| 4 YOUNG LADY was sitting with GAL
/ liant Captain in a charmingly decorated
recess. on her knee was diminutlye
niece. In the adjoining room, with the
! door open. were the rest of the company.
/ said the little niece, in a jealous and very
| audible voice: "Aunty, kiss me, too"
| Evidently something happened. You
| should always say twice, Ethel, dear;
| two is not grammar" was the Immediate
/ rejOinder.
AYOUNG LADY in Paris visits her mil
| liner to order a new hat. and the artist
1 shows her some startling and attractive
/ combinations, none of which, however,
/ suit the lady, who says: Il want some
1 thing more simple than that-something
/ in better taste" Mllliner with a
| naughty sneer), "Oh, you want some
| thing to wear when you are out with
your husband. Here, Jane, Ito youngest
| apprentice), show this person something
| cheap and YirtuOus."