The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-09-15
He Pens his Pa up with a Polecat.

He Pens his Pa up with Polecat.
The bad boy, having been persuad-
ed by his pa to hire out and try "the
dreamy, listles5 life of farm boy"
soon became disgusted and sent in his
resignation. The deacon by whom
he was employed refused to consider
the matter until harvest was over,
and the boys pa and ma went out to
stay a few days and took the boys
chum by way of encouragement to
the boy. He lounged into the gro
Gerry the other morning and toldihow
he induced the farmer to accept his
resignation. "Alter my chum and
me had got all the chores done that
night, we sat out on a fence back Of
the house in the orchard. eating green
apples in the moonlight, and trying
/ 20 ztl5i1k Of a plan a EqgapHe sIst
Then I saw a skunk back Of The House,
right by the outside cellar door, and
/ told my chum that it would serve
them right to drive the skunk down
cellar and shut the door. We got
on each side of the skunk and sort Of
| scared it down cellar, and then we
up softly and closed the cellar doors.
Then we went in the house and |
whispered to ma and asked her if she
! didn't think the deacon bad some
cider, and ma she began to hint that
she hadn't had good drink Of cider
since last winter, and the deacon's
wife said US boys could take pitcher
and go down cellar and draw some.
That was too much. | didn't want
any cider, anyway, so | told them
that belonged to a temperance So
ciety, and | should break my pledge
if 7 draWed cider, and she said | was
a good boy, and for me never to touch
a drop of cider. Then she told my
chum where the cider barrel was,
down cellar, but he amt no SLOUGH.
He said he was afraid to go down
cellar in the dark, and so pa said he
and the deacon would go down and
draw the cider, and the deacon'S wife
asked ma to go down too and look at
the fruit and berries she had canned
for winter, and they all went down
cellar. Pa carried an old tin lantern
with holes in it to light the deacon
to the cider barrel, and the deacOn's
wife had a taller candle to show ma
the canned fruit. l tried to get ma
not to go, cause ma is a friend of
mine, and | didn't want her to have
anything to do with the circus, but
she said she guessed sheasknew
her business. When anybody says
that they guess they know their
own business, that settles it with
me, and l don't try to argue
with them. Well, my chum and
me sat there in the kitchen, and
1 stuffed piece of red table-cloth in
my mouth to keep from laughing,
and my chum held his nose with his
finger and thumb so he wouldn't
snort right out. We could hear the
cider run III the pitcher. and then it
stopped. Just then | heard the old
tin lantern rattle on the tin brick
floor of the cellar; the deacon said,
"Merciful goodness" pa sail, "Hel
en- fiddlers | am stabbed" and ma
yelled goodness sakes alive" and
then there was a lot of dishpans on
the stairs begun to fall and they all
tried to get up cellar at once. o, my.
what a smell came up to the kitchen
from the cellar. 1t was enough to
kill anybody. Pa was the first to get
to the head in the kitchen, and took
long breath and said, "achooSh q!
Hennery, your pa is mighty sick
man" The deacon came up next,
and had run his 9ad into hanging
shelf and broke glass jar of huckle-
berries, and they were all oyer him,
and he said give me air. Then ma
and the deacon's wife came up on a
gallop, and they looked tired. Pa
began to peel off his coat and vest
and said he was going out and bury
them, and ma said he could bury her,
too, and | asked the deacon if he
didn't notice a faint odOr of sewer
gas coming from the cellar, Well,
you never saw a sicker crowd. They
finally got the house aired, and my
chum and me slept on the hay in the
barn, after we had opened the out
side cellar door so the animal could
get out, and the next morning l had
the fever and ague, and pa and ma
brought me home, and l have been
firing quinine down my neck ever
since. Pa says it is malaria, but it is
getting up before daylight in the
morning and prowling around farm
doing chores before it is time to do
chores, and l don't want any more
farm"