The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-04-28

viii never

~ e
1 be WORE i5s a I,ugiItst
The wrestling season-dfses not end un-
til the fall
Slang never heard from the lips OF q
bride 'D9a't give me away
i Rather wishes 10 know what is a
.'full-dress' rehearsal b. the bailet2
Its liale bits ov : mrs that fret and
worry rs, SAYS Josh Billings; I'VE Kan
dodge an 4lei,il.allt, BIN We kant a fly 8
Elephants are taken On subscription
/ by editors in India, the cord-wood hav-
ing given out.
The papais say ttat Gebhardt looks
like a footman- Then Lsli,gtrY must be
a Lily of the valet.
s.Sir. wrote a brakeman to a debtor.
eff you will favor me with The account
of my bill, you will oblige me; if not.
must oblige you-
One OF the sweetest pictures of do
mestic economy is a poet blacking a
white stocking SO that il won't show
through the fissnres of his boot
The Americans arrested in England
for manufacturing dynamite were only
trying to get even with that country for
allowing Lafigtry and Oscar Wilde. to
come here.
The man who never saw "a railroad
train died agaiRreeeatiy in Wakefield.
N. H, aged 100 years ignorance OF
railway travelling appears to he c6nduc-
i've to long iife.-LoneH Citizen.
1t doesn't take a niorthern invalid very
| long to get well in Florida When the
first weeks Eotel bin is presented he
generally says: II guess I'm well enough
to start for home this afternoon. .
Blue Horse, Il good Indian. writes to
the Great Father ut Washington 60 send
him glass eye and a cane. Blue Horse
will be taken. for u dude if he doesnt
J mind how he acts.
Euchered. Jack (admiringly): You
| ARE trump, Miss Marian. Miss M.
tssWhy do yoh call me such name as
that2" Jack Ctriumphantls): Because
of your taking tricks. -
At recent donation party the preach-
er received large quantity of half
cooked bread and he says-how he doesn't
wans any more .'douphnation parties
in his.
A seaside belle having left her bath
fng-shoes -orIto of the hotel vapdow TO dry,
the town paper snnoanced2hat the hotel
had erected new .awnings OF anpnique
design.
1t was darling George when a
bridal couple left Omaha; IT was "dear
George" at Chicago; at Detreits 1T was
George and when they reached
Niagara Falls it was Say your
An old Judge told a young lawyer he
would do well to pick some of the feath-
ers from the wings of his. Imagination,
and stick them into the tail of his jndg-
ment :. -
The New, ofltians Ptcayane has dis
covered that ..the dude hasstwo watch
chains but No watcl." The dude is not
such fool as. he Looks for, he knows
that the weight of a watch would make
him bow-legged.
':Mean,' said the Texas man of l,is
neighbor, .'why. there isn't drop OF,
the milk of human Kindness in that
mans body He's got "a dog that's an
elegant match for Jenk's hnll-pup. and
he won't let 'em fight.
A Milton man WHO a few weeks ago
kindly offered to share his bed and board,
with an impeeunioas acquaintance
somewhat addicted to intemperance
says he is suffering from an attack OF
room mate-ism. Million Net0s.
A fashion item states that 1.-The Bos-
ton. Young man is beginning to wear eye
glasses anCl~knee breeches. Well the
one necessitates the other. The average
Boston young man needs the eye glasses
in order to see his legs. PUCK.
Seven years ago last january a couple
near Bennington. VT. quarreled as to
who shortIhaight the fire in the parlor,
and from thfeaelay to this none has been
made in that room. A word 10 the wise
is sufficient. Tie wise man of the house
will take u hint from the proceeding
thus stated