davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-01-17
Anecdotes BY a Dry Goods Man.

A lady entered one of our leading dry
goods houses desiring to purchase gen.
tlemen's underwear. Approaching the
counter the following dialogue took
place:
Have you gentiemen's undervests?''
"Yes'm; what size?"
(Having forgotten to ask her hus.
band)-
well, l declare! gness l shall have
to leave that to your Judgment. My
husband wears full beard'
The clerk had strength enough to pass
judgment. and the lady wondered why
he smiled.
She must have been some relation to
the one whose husband told her to get
him some Cartwright & Warmers flan-
nels," and who upon reaching the store
asked if he had "Wainwright Il Cart
warmers underwear"
The other day woman asked the
clerk il the colors in his goods were
EAST And to hear him with q sobel
face say that 1.-The colors were shot in
with gun." she believed him. Such
IL perfect faith.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-01-17
Grotesuue Insanity,

DR.. J. w. Hart tells a story of a pa.
tient who had been for some months in
the hospital without any peculiar dis
ease, either of mind or body. discernible
in his habits or situation. He was q
man of wealth and went voluntarily to
the institution, paying the whole fee of
admission required of the competent.
and established himself as a regular in
mate.
By degrees, however, his particular
hallucinations began to appear. He
fancied himself of the other sex and
that he was in that condition in which
"ladies love to be who love their lords"
No persuasion could induce a contrary
belief. He sent for physician and
commenced consultation with several
elderly ladies whose professional ser.
vices he imagined he should soon re-
quire Taking to his bed. he awaited
with fear and trembling the ''pains and
perils' he anticipated!
Being thin, attenuated man, his de-
lusion was the more ridiculous. He
offered ten thousand dollars to the ply
sician for his safe recovery! BY favor
ing his fancy be was at last convinced
that he had passed the ordeal and was
getting well!
The man recovered entirely, and a
few years ago was living and laughed
as heartily as anybody else over his
laughable infatuation, the broadest
possible specimen of burlesque, or rath.
81 grotesque insanity.-B0stOn Post.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-01-17
Highlife IN New York.

What do you think of the queer lives
led by janitors' families? l know a jam
itor who has charge of huge building
down Broadway who has four little tots
Of children. and they don't get down
into the street more than once week
or so. Two of them were born in the
seventh story of an immense iron build
ing, just under the roof. One of them
to my certain knowledge has never been
down in the street at all. That's fact.
1t will be down some day. 1t was born
only last week. Where do you think
the childrens' playground is? 1t is the
roof, and q rare, good yard it is, too,
with flowers growing on it, and every-
thing just like good paced yard
There is large ledge around the four
sides SO there is no danger of the young
sters falling of. And there are clothes
lines there, and tubs standing about,
and clothes-pins lying on the ground
everything SO natural you might easily
imagine yourself in somebody's back
yard. Those children seldom see any
thing Of the world down below; and
their mother hardly ever does for she
has her hands full taking care Of the
yOuugSUefU. xuCT6 Is u ulCc StClluucV
life for you, with no danger Of annoy
ance from prying neighbors. There is
something attractive about it, too. just
think Of the janitor, at dark. shutting
up the big iron doors with himself in
side. There he is with his family about
him, and all the world securely locked
out. 1t is as good as living in castle
with the bridge drawn up and the mote
full Of water. But even when the outer
doors are locked janitors are not al
ways shut in from the outer world. =
There is a block of buildings in one Of
!, the principal business centers of the city
all about the same height Each build
ing has its janitor, and each janitor has
his family. When the outer doors are
shut and locked and no outsider can BY
any possibility make his way in the JAM
itors' families begin to visit The roofs
form their avenues and boulevards, their
grand promenade. There - something
slightly curious about that way Of living,
isn't there; having your neighbor drop
ping in through the roof instead 81 COM
ing through The doore Il u somcthing
like the way q the old cave -dWealers II
ths southwest N n Nssss,
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-01-17
Eollatt'a Folly.

Alonzo Follett, the failed New York
broker, furnishes An example Of the sig-
nal success that attends some Of our
New England men in New York in .
business way, which only . portion Of
them are able to sustain. He was .
quiet boy in school and modest young
man. His FIRST start In business result
ed in . bad failure In one Of our coun-
try towns. Then be went to New York
to live altogether. and I lost sight Of
him for years. In my annual excur-
sions to the town in which he and
were boys together. I have been shown
Of late evidence Of his wealth in the
form Of . castle-llke edifice which he
had constructed In the midst Of tho
Quietest conceivable rural neighborho0d.
Il grew year by year. When l saw Il
thrss yean agO this tall. ths place was
feat. for ~ eye, NOT - nneh q ~
eriinco itssl1 which was n ~ 1nstD
~ q the eanty q ~ GEqpn@ q ~
e s.s:s
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-01-17
A Country School Scene.

Within little schooLhousc, Rrayish whitc,
One stormy winter day, IL my memory serves
me right,
Among the wooded hills of old Vermont.
This homely scene came ripping TO the front.
The school-room held some threescore sirls
and boys
From hill! and vale of every grade and poise-
The sluggish dolt. The wit, the wild, the steady
Who gathered daily round good Master Eddy
A famous class in geographic lore
Is called upon to yield its daily store.
As round and round, IN turn, the class recite,
VITA ready tongues their questions answer
Augusta, Susan, Alfred, Reuben, John:
horat1O careless then goes stumbling on,
Ana, rubbing slowly oer bis drowsy pate,
lie gives the products Of Southern State
As rice and cotton, sugar cane and corn,
Then adds, land backer," placid a. the morn.
mot right" says Master f.. in tones demure,
"The Southern States no hacker grow, I'm
sure"
my book says so," Horatio prompt replies.
A., book IN hand. across tho room he hies.
Beneath the matters gaze he holds the book.
POINTS out the word with triumph In his look.
"Ahl that's Tobacco" Master e. explains.
With plying tones for poor Horatio's pains.
And still, in memory, distinctly trace
The curious look upon that students face,
AS dropped ana closed his book, and turned
his feet,
To bear him meekly back unto his seat.
And yet that humble youth mission filled
More grand than e'er the heart of Caesar thrill
ed.
He heard fair Freedoms call in time Of strife
And promptly gave to her his all-his life.
Long may the stars and stripes In honor wave
Above that humble soldiers grass-grown
grave;
There may the flowers of each returning
spring
Their fairest hues and sweetest fragrance
bring;
While will learn, henceforth, to measure
man
BY rule more just than any grammer can.
ID. L. Milliken.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-01-17

A paper on this subject read BY tho
Rev. j. Owen Dorsey before the Ameri-
can association notices some remarka-
BILE customs in relation to marriages
and kinship as prevailing among the
Dhegitha Indians, particularly by the
Omahas and Poncas:
When tribe is hunting it camps by
gentes or nations, in circle. each gems
bearing the name of some animal. All
the members of the gems are relatives,
and marriage between, members of one
gems is absolutely forbidden. Member
ship in a gems is by descent in the male
line, not in the female. The relations
of a man are denoted by colors, for
example-black, grandfather or grand
mother; blue, father or mother. His
connections are denoted by mixed col
ors, such as pink head and skirt, with
light blue triangle on the body, for sis
ter-in-law. A man can marry his BROTH
er's widow, and her children call him
father even before their fathers death.
His sisters children are only nephews
and nieces. His mothers sister is al
ways oallsd mother for the same rea-
son, and even his paternal grandfath-
er's brothers son Is his father. These,
and many other distinctions. show that
tho terms of relationship are far more
numerous and complicated with the
Omahas than with us. A man may
marry any woman belonging to anoth-
er gems, whether connected with him or
not; though marriage into his mother .
gems is also forbidden. A man canuot
marry any woman to whom he Is related
BY the ceremony Of the cuiumet-danca.
Sometimes man may take the child
rem OF his deceased brother without
their mother herself. Sometimes the
dying husband knowing that his male
kindred ore bad, tails his wife 70 marry
ons Of hisgens 1sawidouer semaina
singie for two three or four yearA. be
must remain - forever. Widows, how
sver. mast Sait 1ors 3eArb hefoes rs,nar.
Tying. The ssne sys!e !! I 8 ~ / =.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-01-17
The Ancient Ruins Near Poitiers.

The recent discovery Of extensive
Gallo-Roman ruins near Poitiers ID at
tracing hundreds Of visitors to the spot.
1t is believed that a careful examination
will produce valuable evidence as to the
manners and architecture of the period.
The thermal buildings arc the best pre-
served. They comprise hall seventy
by fifty feet, three reservoirs for hot.
tepid, and cold water, and three other
reservoirs Of similar dimensions. NJ.
Marius Vachon, writing to La France
from the spot, says: s.The aspect Of the
thermal portion of the ruins Is most
imposing. Amid these strange YES
tiges, where may be traced the i'm
press of the bather's cothurnus aud
sandals on the worn stones, where you
may walk upon the very concrete trod-
den by the Gallo Romans tifteen hum
dred yeass ago, and where your cost
brushes the Same walls against which
leaned the Hictons and the Lexionatfea,
the imagination eyokes without N eaoFt
q vivid picture cf tho PCT - oEieinal
md frll ~ yigosous llllss =
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-01-17
To Save Burial Expenses.

One day in the latter part of October
sea captain called at boarding house
for sailors in Oregon to ship any new
hands whom he could find. The board
ing house master said that there was a
sailor named Anderson upstairs who
wished to ship, adding carelessly that
as the fellow was drunk he would send
him aboard the ship tied up in his
bunk. When Anderson was lifted into
the forecastle none of the ships crew
saw him. The next morning when the
ship was clear of the Columbia River
bar, the captain sent for Anderson. say
ing that the man must have slept off his
stupor. Anderson was dead, and clear
ly had been dead for more than day.
The body was sewed up in canvas and
given to the fishes. During the investi-
cation the boarding house master ad-
mitted that the man was dead when
shipped, explaining that his trick was
to save burial expenses.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-01-17

There has been discovered near Leb-
anon, Ohio, a sycamore log upon which
were cut the letters w. s. and z. S. and
the date 17l8. Since the first settle
ment of that part Of the country was
made in 1888, the people are at loss
to know who did the carving. The
question of the correctness of the date
does not seem to have entered at all in
TO discussion.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-01-17

In the current number Of The Penn
Aagaxins If History dsd biography,
Of Baynton. Wharton 4 Morgan, whose
head. John Baynt0n. died il ITS. lost
10 much BY Indian depredations that
Il b said, thev had assigned 10 them Ia
compensation what now forms the stats
Of Indiana.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-01-17
elk POINT. DAKOTA.

Having eesr ssr naarly three yssrs Rsoeiver In
acquainted with the tooatan and quality Of the
Oovsrumsnt lands throughout tAs Territory sf Ds
kctss ha Will rfeD,tlJ spawer Ill letters or en-
Vuirtes relative Tie of acQUifIpg title 60
government lAnds ua,ier tho laWs a s0S United
ss'e'. Afro viii attend promptly to tie oancs'la-
tlon OF Dec aratory sAte iaen-s aud Aouse.tead En-
tries aron isads that have b-en abaAd.,rrd ans
prep ~ testimony tor wtnesses In Of an,l
oosf on Homes; ;eaas, colAmutrd nomestead en-
ties and Pre- -4Up;tou entries. Also parties deAir
- to hIe a. n Pie-eAptoiB oF eLtsr land under the
Homestead Act can dc through this cfAce with
cut personal adsndsnos ~ tive Lesal Lana 0Aos
2-ho0
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-06
Prospect Lake.

Mrs. Tolan Of Calhoun county, is visiting
at Frank Chase's.
Died. June 9th. infant son of Thomas and
Mary Cooper, aged four days.
Mr.. and Mrs. Henry Jennings visited at
II. Jacobs one pleasant moist day last week.
Dennis Cooper's new house has a well
under it. Walk in and get a drink of cold
water from the tank.
Can Dowagiac buyers afford to pay more
for wool than those of our towns? Some of
our farmers have taken their clip there.
The heavy and continued rains have ma
terially injured the hay crop, clover es-
pecially. 1t has made a big growth, is
lodged and rotting.
The dam at Mr.. Drew's mill (the Chad
wick mill came near being carried away
last week, The water forced passage
through in two places.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-06

Let no one now omit to buy
The fragrant "Teaberry" and try
Upon the Teeth its cleansing powers,
And gain a breath like scent of flowers
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-06

is the only Iron preparation that
does not color the teeth, and will not
cause headache or constipation, as
other Iron preparations will.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-06
OUR GROCERIES
Heath & Milligan Mixed Paints

We agents for the best mixed paint that
~ gallons to of other paint the market
going to paint barn roof, call and We sell
barn and roof Paint the best and durable
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-06

enriches the blood and purihes the
system; cures weakness, lack Of
energy, etc. Try bottle.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-07-06

willcu dyspepsia, heartburn, nala-
Ma, kidney disease, liver complaint,
and other wasting diseases.
National Republican., 1883-09-27
Tariff necigiOll.

Secretary Folger has just rendered an i'm
portant decision with regard to the con-
structon of section of the new tariff law
relating to packages aud coverings of i'm
ported merchandise He holds that the cost
or value of the outside covering into which
goods are finally put for land and ocean car
riage is not to be taken as part of or in ad
dition to tho value of the goods, nor is the
value of the goods to be considered as en-
hanced by reason of that outside covering
having been put about them. The cost to the
manufacturer or wholesale foreign dealer of
;the boxes, cartons or other things, which are
put within or upon or about the goods by him,
rs q part of his preparation of them for expo
sure to SALE. is not to be inquired for as an
arbitrary part of the market value, and
that cost in exact amount added to
an already ascertainod market value
of the goods as part of the
dutiable value thereof, though that cost may
be an element in the evidence of what is the
value of the goods, and may so far be consid-
cred The dutiable value Of the goods is not
to be the market value which they would
have if they were offered for sale without that
preparation of inner boxes, cartons, or other
like things The dutiable value of the goods
is the actual market value or wholesale price
thereof in the condition of finish and prepara-
tion for sale in which they are finally offered
by the foreign merchants to negotiating GUS
toners, and for which they will and do sell
them, though that value or price be enhanced
because of that finish or preparation, and
though q part of the preparation consists in
the placing in or upon or about the goods
boxes, cartons, paper cards, or other like
THINGS
National Republican., 1883-09-27
stcnmhpnt In,nrction Notcs.

Mr.. James \. DumOnt, supervising inspec-
tor general Of steam vessels, has returned to
this city from New York, where he has been
attending the investigation of the Riverdale
disaster The report of the investigation has
not yet been made up. 1t will deal not only
with the direct cause of the explosion, which
is already well known, but with the circum-
stances which made it possible for the vessel
to be carrying passengers under certificate
issued by the proper authorities with her
boiler in an unsafe condition.
Gen. Dumont says he was informed before
leaving New York yesterday that it was not
likely that the hull of the Rivcrdale would
be raised, as after an examination it had been
found to be so badly shattered as to be of lit
tie value.
The general has received an inquiry from
New FORK ms 20 tho number and names of
vessels condemned at that port by the United
States officials He has replied that he can
not furnish the information, as under the
law vessels arc only condemned condition
ally, the officials removing the condemnation
and issuing certificates to them as soon as
the objection to their engaging in traffic has
been removed. He says that to make public
the fact of their condemnation when they
would probably afterward receive certificates
would be positive injury to their owners,
and would not serve the public Interests.
National Republican., 1883-09-27
-
The Labor Committee.

NEW YORK, Sept. 26.--Mr. Joseph Medill,
publisher of the Chicago Tribune, was a wit
ness to-day before the United States senate
subcommittee on labor and education. He
said he had been connected with the press
since 1sis. Tho chief cause of the impecuni-
Gus condition of the masses Of the laborers in
this country he attributed to their improvi-
.dence. The only way TO improve them was to
teach them to save. Too much of tho earn
ings of the laborer were spent in liquor and
tobacco. 1t had been calculated that the
amount annually spent by the laboring popu-
lation in drink was si00,000,000, and at least
5000, 900 were spent in cigars tobacco, and
useless amusements. High licenses and low
rents would do much toward lessening the
evil. The witness said he had very little
faith in political prohibition. Unhealthy
tenement houses should be torn down. The
present tariff was fleeing the farmers, and
they were beginning to understand it.
Reuben L. Carroll the well known oil pro-
ducer, was the neXt'witness He said it was
impossible to reconcile capital and labor so
long as the present unjust rate of usury ex-
listed. Money was the present cause of drones
in the human hive, which allowed many men
to live without labor. The laboring people
of this country as body received less than
81 a day.
National Republican., 1883-09-27
Deatrnv.d hY Elrr.

WEST MOUNT VERNON, n. Y, Sept. 26.--
A fire broke out in the carriage house and
stables aJtsched to the Castle inn, New
Rochelle, the property of the Manhattan Life
Insurance company, yesterday afternoon, to-
tally destroying them. The loss is over $l0,-
900; partly insured. They were set on fire,
it is supposed, by two young men who were
seen shooting near the premises.
GALVESTON, Ten, Sept. GA special dis
patch from Dallas, Tex, says: A fire here
last night damaged Slater q wings general
store, Michael Roe's residence, Elliotts lum-
Der yard, the Atlanta hotel, and couple of
small structures to the extent of $4,000.
The insurance is $4,000.
FAIRFIELD, Me, Sept. GA fire, which
originated in Allen & Tolman's hardware
store this morning, burned out several firms,
causing u loss of $2i,000 partially insured
The heaviest losers are Allen & Tolman,
;Sl2, 600; insurance, $4,000, Sumner Osborn,
$4,000, and tho st. Louis -four company
$4,000. The cause of the fire is not known.
National Republican., 1883-09-27
TIC IInltnn Rcpnftn.

Hutton, PA, Sept. 26.-The weather to-
day is pleasant and the water is as smooth as
glass. The attendance is very large. Prior
to the races on the programme Plaisted and
Layborger rowcd a special half mile race,
Layberger winning by three-fourths Of n
lcnth. No official time was taken, but the
unofficial time is said to be three minutes.
At 2:20 Joseph Kaye, James Taylor, and
Charles Zirhutt stared in the first heat Of
the veteran race, John Biglin being scratched.
Kaye led at the start, but was soon passed by
Xirhut and Taylor. At the half milo Taylor
took tho lead and maintained it to the finish,
with Kaye second. Time, "a min. 20 sec.
In the second trial heat of the Veterans
race the contestants were Coulter, Powell,
Denmarsh, and Faulkner. The latter took
the lead at the start and maintained it to the
finish. Coulter came in short half length
behind. Time, 23:4S.
The third and last trial heat was hotly con-
tested by Siebert, Luther, and MacCafirey,
with Scott away to the rear. Sicbert took the
lead at tho first quarter, and came in first,
with Luther and MacCaffrey bow, and bow,
half length behind. Time, $3.50. The final
heat in the local race was started at 5:15
Gang forged ahead at the quarter, with
Priddy n close second and Connolly, Powers,
Snyder, Moniger, and Richards following, Az
the third quarter Priddy passed Gang and
came in winner by six lengths, Gang second
Moniger third, and Connolly fourth. Time
21:10.
Owing TO the lateness Of the hour the final
heat in the veterans race was postponed until
o.morrow.
National Republican., 1883-09-27
Ernorts of ProvlsIons.

The chief of the bureau of statistics reports
that the total values of the exports of domestic
provisions, tallow, and dairy products for the
month and the eight months ended Aug. 81,
were as follows:
1888 1892
Total for August........... Sl2,O6O,O6l S6,23T3l7
Total for eight months ended ...-.-L
Aug. 0l.. ssk. 'JlOhOiu oo,J-E'4oY
The total values of exports of provisions
and tallow for the ten months ended Aug. 81,
were as follows: In 1888, SSi, 1888, ,20i; in 1882,
1851, $40
The total values of the exports of dairy
products for the four months ended Aug. 81,
were as follows; In 1888, $S,6sG,03l; in 1882,
81, 116,s16