The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1883-10-04

aU once, ana ner manners were every
thing that could be desired.
I'VE will do everything we can to
make you happy, Mr.. Peter, said she.
I'm sure we can find something to
amuse you with, SO that you won't miss
that dirty old city you seem to be SO
fond Of
From that very instant my friends
wife began to rise in my esteem as be-
ing far above the generality of her de-
tested sex. Iquickly discovered that
Poly and his wife, with the exception
Of the cook. were the only persons
about the place, his parents having
gone East on o visit, and I settled
down to an after-supper cigar with the
firm conviction that in the morning I
would telegraph for my trunk. The
short October afternoon was drawing
to close, and, engaged in converse
ton, the early twilight was settling
over the landscape, when Mrs. Polly
suddenly started up and exclaimed:
"Oh, Polly, You are forgetting your
engagement this evening. You prom
ised your father to attend to his af-
fairs rs well AS if he were here him
self, you know. And those COWS"
Iglanced / at my friend. A strange,
uncomfortable look was on his pink
and white face.
"Oh, yes, Annie" says he, presently,
@don't mind about them; I'll see they
are fetched home all right, pretty
soon"
you see," said he, turning to me
with nervous smile, "bcfore father
went away, he purchased couple OF
Jerseys and they are to bo brought
here this evening""
Il have already named one of them,
said Annie, "after the Jersey Lilly, and
we call her Langtry."
Il suppose, Old Pap, says Polly to
me, carefully avoiding my gaze, that
you will excuse me . little while; I'll
not be long away, and Annie is a cap.
ital hand to entertain company" And
off she went. Time passed. Polly did
not return SO soon as expected, and the
early mooa was shining brightly when
his wife, who was beginning to man.
ifest some anxiety over his prolonged
absence, espied two dusky objects
plunging and careening down the moon
lit road.
Now, ever since Polly had departed
ON his mission, l had been puzzling my
brain over what seemed a mystery to
me, years before, when my friend was q
small boy. He had been tossed by al
angry bull, and nearly killed. Since
when, he had an unconquerable fear oi
cattle in any form. had known him
shy around corners, cnt across lots
and even hide behind stone walls in his
terror of meeting one Of the bovine
species. And, now, his seemingly
cheerful alacrity, in actually going t.
drive home two Of them, was something
l could not see into. Perhaps, and,
shouted with laughter as the thought
occurred to me, perhaps, my friend, who
was sensitive over his weakness, did
not like to have his wife know that ht
was such coward. Ashamed to &C
knowledge to her his old-time fear o
cows, he had assumed a readiness il
going to fetch home the Jerseys tha
he was far from feeling.
Annie looked inquiringly at me as
laughed. "You must have some amusing
Thoughts" she said.
The dark objects that were gallopint
toward us proved to be my friend ane
his purchase, and, rs they went tearing
| wildly past us, it was hard for a disin
terestel person to tell which was tn,
most badly frightened-my friend o
the cow.
"Open that big gate in the corner !!
yelled Polly, rs they tore along. BE
fore could prevent her, Annie droppe,
the book she had been reading iron
and with blood-curdling scream mad
dash for the gate.
But the Jersey Lilly" paid no atten
tion to the gate, or Annie. either, bu
sailed over the top of the fence i
fine style, heal up and tail flying
Then and there was enacted the wildes
race the pale moon ever looked upon.
Annie went over the fence like
streak of calico lightning. And Poll,
recovered sufficiently to hugh as Iii
wife picked herself up and wiped til
dust from her mouth.
As the terrified COW fad past Polly
he caught at rope that was attache
to her horns and twisting it tightl
about his wrists, howled out:
"Now, You gh-falutin old hussy
I've got you at last. I'll teach you t
come to my time-I WILL
Nobody knows rhose slime" Poll
and his COW did their racing by--it Gel
tainly was not his. His legs flew thi
way, aud that way, his eyes looked lik
inverted saucers, and his coat streame
in the summer winds like banners I
distress on forsaken ship. Matter
soon reached . crisis. Too badl
frightened to know what she was doinl
tho roar beast attempted to scale
picketed inclosure sacrel to the featl
cred bipeds. This was too mnch. Poll
made desperate resistance and til
consequence was that Polly and til
COW and the picketed inclosure a
came down in heap together.
Then there was some swearing don,
and it was the very tallest kind {
swearing at that But, as Iii.
interested spectator Of the whole affai
can affirm TINT it was the cow tn.
did it. A good deal shocked, Annie +,
tired into the house, and, shutting I'll
door. called out to Polly through I'll
key-hole, to come in and let the bea
go away If she wanted too.
A groan was the only reply.
Somewhat alarmed. ms wife peere
anxiously ont upon the field Of carnag
The COW had disappeared in the frien,
ly shadow of wooded field Poll
was limping slowly toward the house
madder and n wiser mainland I'll
war was virtually at an end.
My unfortunate friend presented
shocking appearance. His tight pan
a!oons were ripped in every seam: h
cutawav coat was split up the midd
of the back, and the natty hat, upe
which he particularly prided himsel
was lost entirely. Tears of rage NJ
modification streamed down his u
grimmed features.
Unable to restrain myself, screams
with laughter.
Then Polly forgot his manners aga