National Republican., 1883-08-03
FROM THE WILD WEST.
A Gentleman from Minnesota Suggests n
Question to be Added to the Civil Ser
vice List.

A Gentleman from Minnesota Suggests n
Question to be Added to the Civil Ser
vice List.
Judge Joslyn, sitting solitary and supreme
in his official chair at the interior depart
ment yesterday, had visitor.
Hello, Merritt" said he as he burst into
the secretary's office, Pm all right"
The judge looked gravely up from the let
ter he was reading, and politely extended
hand to meet that which the stranger was
fourishing at him. The stranger changed
his mind, withdrew his hand, left the judges
clutching at air. and walked over to the large
mirror, where he began to put new rumple
on his head Of refractory brown hair.
"Howde-h he went on to
say. "You can have position, MAJ am; name
your choice jedge'll fix it for you. o, dear;
o dear" land here he sat down on the edge of
the judges desk and began tanning himself
with his hat-straw and dirty, "what
world, amt it, oil f'lar. That's what Bill
Norton said to me once, but Bill he's gone
now--gone sure 'nough, an me an Dan an
the rest of the boys an girls is all that's left.
Shake hands pardner-shaxe hands with Min
nesota."
Once more the judge extended his hand
but this time in a tentative way, which wa
we'll, for the stranger again withdrew the
protier absently, with a far away look in his
eyes.
Dear, Q, dear, what times. Kind o hot,
amt it2 N I'm little bit burned, too, amt
1? Been out in the sun. You think Pm
drunk, don't you nowW
| The judge admitted that he did suspect it,
Wrong-wrong again, OF flar. Will you
never go right-won't you, now, just once,
for the sake of your bleedin' country-our
common country, the land of the free an the
home-whadaye think L run through
yesterday N day before"
From your appearance, my FRIEND" Sc
dately answered the judge, as he regarded
him over the top of his spectacles; from
your appearance and perfume | should think
you had run through sower"
| "There you go-wrong again-always
wrong 1t was three hund'd dolls, that's
what it was. But if amt drunk l amt
sober. Pm just in that fix where man can
have fun. Don't you think Pm havin fun :?
| Say, now, don't you? Course, thoys vast
difference in what different people call fun.
Fun, sir, is altogether n relative matter.
This wouldn't be fun for you, maybe, but to
wagon load Of small monkeys, How do you
like me? Amt this pleasant visitS"
"Hhe trouble with the visit is" said the
judge, that you're staying too long"
~ know that know that better'n you
do. But l dom mind lettin' my business
| u
Sllrise ! like you. Times no object with
me. Whadid Nick Vedder say? He was q
cute one, but happen TO be the niftiest man
ON top o. dirt myself and fifteen years ago l
held my commission in the reg'lar army. But
that's neither here nor there | never thought
I'd come down to such u small business as
reglatin the civil service commission. But
somebody's got TO go into the breach, y'knOw
oF flar. The thing is out of jint o, cursed
spite that even l was born to set it right
Shakespeare"
He fumbled moment inside his hat lining,
and brought out n piece of unctuous paper,
folded very small.
whacking it with his palm. "There's the one
thing they have needed to make their gzami-
nation completc-and permit me TO say, sir,
in conclusion, that no person is fit to pound
sand down u rat hole on n gov'ment salary
that can't answer the simple question written
there. Please sir-O please do not think
that l would accept any position in Washing
ton. ] have a very extent position now.
am superintendent of fog shoyelers OIL Cape
IIatteras, an Pm takin' a census Of sea gulls
on Rohuboth Beach / came from Minnesota
an I'm Wild proud western man. q, no.
l had rayther be razor in the hip pocket OF
a colorcd messenger than the chief of your
beastly OF service commission. Good day
sir-as between man an man. good day"
Ho got down from the desk, and drawing q
handkerchief that had been whittier, applied il
TO his eyes.
Parting is sad, oil pard" land here his
voice cholSod and real tears ran down into
his stubbly moustache). Parting is beastly
sad, but l really mus go. Jes' hand that
little mem. TO the commission, an have 1t put
in. People who cannot answer ii ought to be
hanged
He walked out and came in again to say
''Im an OF, oil printer, am" and then he
disappeared.
On the paper he had left the judge pres
emily read this great cOnundrum:
(which is the largest, a piece Of string or
piece of chalk p
EVERYBODY smokes the LongfelIow Cigar.