The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-11-24
SELMA DICKERs0N'S FOLLY.

her own door, sat the spinster Selma
Dickerson. Her life had been made up
more of shadows than sunshine, and as
the scenes of the past were called up in
review, she covered her eyes with her
hands and sighed audibly. She was
thinking of her folly twenty years ago
when farmer Jones came wooing. AS
the memory of his generous face re-
minded her of what might have been, it
is no wonder that in her loneliness her
heart cried out for companionship and
comfort.
Listen! She is talking softly to herself.
"What fool was! To think of my be-
ing fiattered into the hope that the
wealthy squire would condescend to
marry me! And yet" her eyes flashing,
81 am as good. yes, better than he!
Jerry Jones l knew to be honest in his
love for me. [ knew he wanted me for a
wife and companion rather than slave
and household drudge. knew he would
be kind, ccnslderate and loyal, while the
squire might prove exacting, dictatorial,
and even untrue. Oh, it vas that board
ing school education, or rather lack of
education, that was to blamei My head
was filed with false notions of life. I
had never been shown the value of
real worth. My ambition for
wealth and the position which
it brings was fostered, while my aspira-
tions toward the good and real were
crushed and kept down by my associa-
tions and surroundings. My mother was
poor, but vain and proud. She lived
upon the surface, striving to grasp the
baubles and glitter of life. All my young
days, which should have been so full of
innocence, were made up in lessons in
worldly vanity. From my earliest recol-
lection my mothers aim was to gain for
me an alliance with some wealthy fam
lily. I see it all now. was not so much
to blame after all, and yet how could /
have been so blind and foolish?"
After silence of some minutes, with
her hand pressrd to her heart, as if to
still it's wild beating, she murmured. "In
the white house over there, silence
reigns, for Theresa Jones is dead. Did
she love him as have loved him all
these years? Has she been to him
what might have been had it not been
for my pri le? Was his heart filed?
Does he bend over her dead form and
kiss her white lips as in deep sorrow as
he would if were in her place? The
world calls me hard and cynical, says [
am intellectual and cold; that all care
for is to place the ballot in the hands of
my own sex, that we may rule the world !
How little I am understood! If the world
knew that all these years [ have loved,
and hopelessly; that my heart yearned
toward every little child from whom /
have turned almost harshly to hide my
true self; if it was known that my close
study of social life, as represented in
matrimony, has been prompted by the
earnest desire to help other women to
avoid the rocks upon which my ship OF
happiness was wrecked; if people knew
that beneatk my cold exterior"
Approaching footsteps reused Miss
Dickerson from her soliloquy. Farmer
Jones was startled to see the tears which
Selma tried to hide. Extending his
hand, he said with emotion:
81 am sorry to find you in trouble too.
Has any thing happened?"
"No, no. she answered, "I was only
thinking"
"Does thinking have this effect upon
you?"
The emphasis upon his words showed
too plainly that he, too, had the opinion
of other people as to the finty nature of
Miss Dickerson's heart. He continued,
Il have come to ask favor. You know
Teresa is dead. I have no near friend to
come and look after things, or even to be
kind to my motherless girls. thought
perhaps'-
Rising abruptly, Miss Dickerson said,
ST will come in an hour" and hurried
into the house, leaving her friend CRATE
full but perplexed.
In Farmer Jones' home Miss Dicker-
son was truly an angel in disguise. By
degrees the little girls learned to love
her. AS time wore on, their father be.
came silent and thoughtful, even absent
minded. In the early days of his grief
he had been frank and open in his man.
ner toward Selma. A change was com.
ing over him which even the children
noticed, and commented upon to "deal
Miss Dickerson." Poor Selma! She
felt that the crisis was approaching, the
time when she must leave this lonely
for SO tenderly. She could no longer
endure the false life which she was com
PEELED to lead. Misjudged by all the
world, it was bitterness indeed to be
misjudged by him. And yet she had
the sweet satisfaction that in her life
of weary loneliness she had been able
to rouse many women first to thought
fulness, then to steps toward the free
dom and happiness of true womanhood
that she had been instrumental in quail
flying many young mothers to traIr
.heir offspring properly; that even young
girls came to her for advice, and tha
from them she commanded the respeo
which gave weight to her sage, practica
words.
Thinking all had retired, she fingered
late one night by the falling embers of {
long fire. Her mode was much the same
as that with which our story opens.
Farmer Jones had been sitting silent
but full of thought, in the room wher,
two years ago Theresa Jones left he
earthly form. Wearied at last, he rose
and fearing to wake the household, stol
noiselessly through the room where Sci
ma sat in the abandonment of her grief
She was rocking to and fro, silently
! while the tears coursed down her cheeks
For moment he stood astonishe1 ], ant
somewhat awed-for a moment only
approaching, ne lalu his manu- R6ntl.
| upon her shoulder and said, I'm tear
again, Selma? What does this mean !?
Startled and abashed at being thus sur
prised, she hid her face IN her hands
making no reply. Bending over her
and forcing her hands from her face
William Jones, with eager trembling
/ tones, questioned
SIS your life lonely? Has the nobl
effort on your part to help women t.
health and freedom failed quite to fiji
your life?' and then sadly, bitterly, b
asks, "Can it be that you still grieve TO
that dastardly fellow who won your Low