The Russellville Democrat. [volume] (Russellville, Ark.) 1875-1898, 1883-05-31

The Sieeping-Car Thermometers
Pcek's Sun.


20, | don't kick on the accommo
dations in a sleeping car, and it i
cheap enough said the travelling
man with bad cold. II have heare
jokes a million times about sleeping
car pillows getting lost in maeaa,::
ear, but always founa pillows
big enough. | have heard people
complain about blankets being toe
short at both ends, but the blankets
are all right, and you can get an ex
ira one or dozen by asking fol
them What / kick against is Pull
mans using colored man for ther
mometer in a car. He takes col
ored man who has been brought uI
in New Orleans. for instance, anO
puts him on q car up north here
and the human barometer will make
the temperature of the car as neal
that of New Orleans as possible. He
will get the heat up to hundred
ard we thrash around and kick of
the clothes and roast, and that col
ored man sits by the stove with the
fever and ague. You tell him to
open q ventilator and he goes and
opens the draft of the stove. Now
last night when ! got in the car il
was Turkish bath, and | kicked of
the clothes and dreamed | was dead
and had gone to Gehena. | could
sec the devil with a toasting fork
with democrats ON the prongs, dip
ping them into the lake Of fire and
birthstone, and then he would set
them on some hot Goals to cool off.
and he would spear some republi-
cans and give them dip in the fire,
He was the most impartial indivld-
ual | ever saw. / could see in my
dreams, travelling men from Chica-
go, that / always knew were bad
men, swimming around in the lake,
holding up the thousand mile tickets
they have bought of scalpers, wait
ing for the conductor Of the summer
resort train to punch their fare out,
and then they would dive down into
the fire to swim match with some
drummer from ST. Louis, and want
me to act as umpire. 1t was all just
as plain to me as could be. After |
had been in hades about couple OF
centuries, and was eookcd brown on
one side and rare on the other, that
lake of fire and birthstone began to
cool. off, and finally it froze over en-
tirely, and the doomed people were
on skates trying to run down a lot
of polar bears, and in the distance |
could see arctic expeditions frozen
in the ice, and the survivors eating,
what seemed to me, bootheels, on
railroad sandwiches. The dream
was as natural as could be, and l
imagined was travelling for an Ice
house, and oiled my halr with ice
cream, and when went up to the
bar to take drink, there was frozen
punch and whlskey ice. | was using
a hammer to break drink of whis-
key off of an iceberg, when the ham
ner slipped and l run my head
against the whiskey iceberg and
woke up. Well, by gum, | was in
the sleeping car, with my bald head
against the window, and my feet out
in the aisle in the nickle plated GUS
pidore, and the car was colder than
a refrigerator. / was stiff all over,
and | got up and staggered to the
end of the car, and what do you sup
pose / found?'
90, | don't know. You probably
found water tank. That's what a
fellow always vents to find when he
gets up in the night in a sleeping
car, with bad case of whisky thirst.
What did you find in the end of the
carp
"Why, ! found that coon rolled up
on the back seat, in six blankets,
fast asleep, the fire gone out, and
both doors open, and he was snoring
for all that's out, while the car was
going at forty miles an hour across
the prairie. Well, was mad. !
took all the blankets away from him,
and covered the coon with piece OF
oil cloth off the floor, and took fifty
pound piece of ice out of the tank
and laid it on his chest and wrapped
his arms around 1t, and shut the
doors and went to bed. Pretty soor
heard the colored man begin tC
talk In his sleep. He said 'gway
rum dar wild dem cold feet. | dun
tole you never put dem frigeratol
cars of yours no where near me
Take dem right away or dare's goin
to be a divorce, on the ground o
cruelty TO animals Then the coor
woke up and said if he had a razor
he would knife the man that put
that ice on him, and pretty soon
heard him building a fire. Now
what / claim is that George Pull
man should have u THERMOMETERS in
every car, and men enough to keeI
the temperature about right, and moi
,,oa A onlnraI man fnr 81 thapmptpQ a