Connecticut western news., 1883-05-09
THE JOKER'S BUDGET, WHAT WE FIND IN THE HUNOROUs
 PAPERS. Peck's Bad BOy-SOmething in Store-Had TraVeled-Only n Bundle of Play Hills,
 Etc.. Etc.
HE HAD TRAVELLED BEFORE.

A lot of Boston tourists were travelin ln sleeping car, also Nevada traveller
 In the morning, when 8 porter wen round to collect his assessments on boo
 backing, there was a great commotiol
 among the Boston tourists. Some pait
 him a fve-cent nickle, and those wh,
 had no nickles were compelled to Sielc
 up short bits. All the while the Nevada
 man, dressed in ordinary clothes, sal
 reading his newspaper. When the porter
 reached him he looked up inquiringly
 ''Did you black my boots, sir"
 ''Yes, sah."
 ''You did splendid job :; never had
 my boots blacked so well before on this
 line. Here's $3."
 When the porter pocketed the money the Boston people looked up astonished, and presently it was rumored about that John Mackey was aboard or Enoch Stro- ther was out on 8 campaigning trip. In 8 few minutes the Nevada man and the porter met (by chance) in the smoking | room.
 "When does my sleeping ticket run out p
 ''Your time was up, sah, at Ogden j; but if you wants to ride to Reno, boss, it's all right, sah."
 The traveller gave the darkey drink out of black bottle, and the porter winked continuously for nine seconds as he drank the travellers health.
 Six dollars saved. Economy is the road to wealth. Carson Appeal.
 THE RAILROAD BILL.
 How the San Francisco Post came to be the first to hear of the following queer transaction, which is reported in it's columns, is mystery: Certain Gin cinnati capitalists, interested in rail way bill passing through the Kentucky Legislature, dispatched an honest man to Frankfort with $2O, 1000, to be used "where it would do the most good" He stayed there until the bill was intro duced and thrown out, when he re- turned to report the result of his mis- sion to his employers.
 "Did you distribute the whole of the money?" asked they.
 "Not a cent" was the reply; "the members were willing enough to take it, but they wouldn't give receipts and I was not coming back without either money or vouchers for it''
 And the would-be log-rollers no longered wondered at the non-p -prssing of their bill
 A BUNDLE OF PLAY-BI1Ls.
 The huntsman of a well-known En- glish pack returned home lately by rail in third class carriage in which were already five men, and, as he entered, seeing a parcel of thin papers on the floor under the seat, he picked them up. Looking at them and then at his con- panions, he asked if any gentleman had lost bundle of papers. Each man said "No," and the huntsman handed the bundle to the station master, saying, "As they seem to be bank notes, I had better leave them with you." The men agreed that he had done right but, after a time, one began to feel in his pockets, and with many imprecations on his stu pidity, announced that he had lost a bundle of notes received that day at l market. A discussion ensued as to what | was to be done, and 1t was agreed that | the best thing was for the owner to get | out at the next station, take hack, and | go back as hard as he could. As the victim hurried off, the huntsman laughed quiet laugh, and said, "I thought there would be one rogue out of six men. It was bundle of play bills!"
 PICKS BAD BOY.
 ssYou see, one of these Bohemian bands that goes about town playing tunes, for was over on the next street, and I told pa I guessed some of his friends who had heard we had baby at the house, had hired band and was coming he better prepare to make speech. Me and my chum went out and told the leader of the band there was family up there that wanted to have some music, and they didn't care for expense, so they quit blowing where they was and came right along. None of them could under stand English except the leader. My chum steered the band up to our house, and got them to play Babies on our Block, and Baby Mine, and stopped all the men who were going home, and told them to wait a minute and they would see some fun, so when the band got through the second tune you'd dide to see pa when he put his hand in the breast of his coat, and struck an atti- tude. He looked like a Congressman, or tramp. The band was mad, and | some of them were going to Iun, think ing he was going to throw pieces of brick house at them, but my chum and the leader kept them. Then pa sailed in. He commenced: Fellow citizens, and then went way back to Adam and Eve, and worked up to the present day, giv- ing history of the notable people who had acquired children, and kept the crowd interested. I felt sorry for pa, cause knew how he would feel when he | came to find out he had been sold. The Bohemians in the band that | couldn't understand English, they looked at each other, and wondered | what it was all about and finally pa wound up by stating that it was every citizens duty to own children of his own. and then he invited the band and the crowd to take some refreshments. Well, you ought to have seen that band come