Omaha daily bee., 1883-05-12
PEPPERMINT 0

Never be 20 impolitc as to call q mcn
q liar. Gently insinuate that he talks
like the advance agent of a theatrical
star.
An Iowa editor, being asked by a cor.
respondent IL hogs paid, has looked over
his subscription lit, and decided that they
do not.
Eighteen COWS were killed in one day m
the line cf an Ohio railroad 100 miles long
Unfortunately, they had no Refrigerator
cars on the trains.
1t is wrong to posch chickens, but per.
fectly proper TO posch eggs. 81 you see
there is q difference 'twiKt tweedtl1um and
tweedeldee Boston Transcript.
DIR. OFT has learned that the rattle
snakes tail makes sixty vibrations q sec
ond, being Just O trife slower than q wo.
mons tongue at q sc ewing society. Boston
Post.
There is an "Ichthyophagous" club in
New York. Its name must be hard on
the tongues Of cornwall members, about 2
o'clock 10 the morning. But perhaps they
don't try to pronounce 1t.
The b ngman's rope used in Mississippi
Is the same size as is purchased for tying
up cows. II the victim prefers o log.chain
he Is told that q man In this world can
have everything he wants.
1t Ia q breech of etiquette never to be
forgiven to sneeze in the presence OF roy.
atty, but royalty has never bothered itself
to tell q man what to do with his nose when
he feels a sneeze working along up his aus
penders.
II set three hens this season, but they
all left their nests before the Matching
time. Can any use be made of the eggs?"
Certainly. Save them until next winter.
Oscar Wilde Is coming over to play
Romeo.
When IA Arkansas man let 1t be known
that he was going to ride over to the cor
ners to slay q man who had sold him o
spawned mule, four of his neighbors went
along to see the killing and have q chance
to draw pay as witnesses.
A soda fountain In Syracuse blew up, the
other day, and killed one man and serious
ly injured another. 1.-THE nihilists should
introduce soda fountains and shrimp salad
into Russia it might be the end Of des-
potism in that unhappy country.
Base ball fashions for 1888: Fingers will
be covered with cotton cloth, cut q la
mode. and held in place by splints; eye.
patches will be dark blue in color. and
without fringe; bandages will be cut bias,
and courtplsster will be worn on all occa-
sions.
A dentist in Plattsburg, MY, recently
received this order for asset of teeth: my
month is three inches ACROSS, fve.eights
inches through the jaw. Sum hummocks
on the edge, Shaped like a horseshoe, tee
forward. II you wish me to be more par
ticklar / should hav to come thar"
Ths pistol which O Cincinnati woman
said was the one with which her husband
threatened to shoot her proved to be .
beer faucet. Any man who will carry a
beer faucet alb ut bis person is o dangerous
character and should be watched. A beer
faucet, when loaded, Is about as dangerous
as apistol. -NorriAto IN Herald.
At this time, when May showers are
making themselves numerous, it might be
wei to understand umbrella firtations."
To leave your umbrella in the hall means
II don't want it any more" To purchase
an umbrella indicates Il am not SIN ,rt,
but honest" To trail your umbrella on
the sidewalk means that the man behind
you thirsts for your blood. To lend an
umbrella indicates Il am = fool" To put
. cotton umbrella by the side of o nice silk
one means Exchange is no robbery" To
urge q friend to take an umbrella, saying,
'Oh! do take It: I'd much rather you
would than not" signifies that you are
lying. To return an umbrella
never mind what 1t means. No one ever
does that.-Yale Record.
His burrows long enough: A land agent
wanted O Kentucky farmer to emigrate to
Dakota, rs he war not making his II Wing in
the old commonwealth. "What induce.
ments do you offer!" asked the farmer.
I'VE have the richest lands, the finest
wheat. the best water, the latest stock.
and the biggest farms in the world" Yea"
doubtingly interrupted the farmer" Why,
man, on one of those big farms they pillow
a furrow five miles long" "whs.!" "They
pillow q furrow five miles long," ''That
ends it, stranger. Don't talk Dakota to
me! It's all l can do to pillow one of these
little tifty.yard burrows here in Kentucky,
and If it was five miles long I never would
get to the end Of it. Gee, whoa Buck, get
up there! and he started across the patch,
leaving the agent citing on the fence.