Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1883-05-04
Johnny and the Governor.

Fizzletop's boy Johnny spends great
deal of his time over at the capitol talk
ing to solons, with whom he is quite q
favOrite, until he knows almost as much
about running the government as they
do. At home, Johnny's talk is full Of
quaint Legislative expressions that the
rest of the family cannot understand.
and. moreover, he has learned to swear.
a thing he never did before until he be-
came familiar with solOns.
A few days ago his legislative knowl-
! edge cropped out on the occasion of his
| going to the door when the family pas
tor called to obtain subscription for
an orphan asylum. In reply to the pas
tors request to inform Johnny's father
| that gentleman was here to see him,
Johnny replied.
1.-The governor cannot see you at
present. He is busily engaged with the
affairs of State. He is attending to some
measures of internal improvement.
"What do you say he is doing?"
Attending to internal Improvements,
filing away batter cakes at the breakfast
table,
II want you to tell your father de-
sire to see him about his subscription to
that orphan asylum
Johnny shook his head deprecating-
ly, and said:.
'It will be of no use for you to intro
duce that bill. Parson, for tell you cam
didly 1 shall use my influence to kill it
off in the. Sonoto. It will never reach
the governor at all. 1t is unconstitution-
al to use the money of the people to re-
lieve orphans. 1t will open door to
fraud and corruption. What security
have we legislators got that you your
self are not the orphan who expects to
be relieved? You had better retire your
bill, Parson. At any rate, l close"
and he closed the door in the dazed
clergyman's face.
When Johnny returned to the break
fast table, Col. Fizzletop asked Johnny
to whom he had been talking. johnny
replied that it was Parson Smith, but
that he had sat down upon him in the
committee room, and he would not turn
up again this session
Johnny" said Col. Fizzletop, 81
want you to keep out of that capitol.
Since you have been running with those
legislators you talk like fool, but
know remedy for you"
Johnny sauntered off, remarking
that he was opposed to all class and
special legislation, that there had been
too much of it already in that family.
Johnny's experiences at school were
very discouraging to our incipient legis-
lators. When the teacher called him
out to say his lesson, he arose in his
seat and moved to refer the whole mat
ter to the committee on sponges and
lead pencils. The teacher asked him |
what he meant by that foolishness.
''Sir, language has been used by you
N the heat of debate" replied JOHNNY,
one hand inside of his vest,
md holding his nose up in the 'air,
language has been used that is unbe-
coming gentleman
When the teacher got through drag
ling him over the benches, johnny went
lome very indignant to see the COVER
Tor about it.
The governor was not in, but John
ly's mother told him that his father left
vord for him to clean up the yard.
Johnny laughed scornfully:
'Ha, another message from the gov
rnor! 1 believe the sage of Seguin
magines he can run this legislature.
lie will know better after while.''
When Johnny's father came home,
he first thing he wanted to know was
Thy the yard was not cleaned up.
ohnny gave the old man some racket
bout the governor having no right to
surp Legislative functions, when the
Id man reached out and made a sue
essful motion tc lay Johnny on the ta-
lie.
There said Col. Fizzletop, as he =
rev away the broken piece Of bed
at, 81 shall make use of that veto
henever l think you need it." \
Johnny has retired to the shades of r,
rivate life. and once more enjoys the i
.spect of his family and friends d
eras Sittings. :;