Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1883-03-17

he had been drunk more or less
since the reunion last summer,
which ought TO qualify him. Then
the grand mogul made pa repeat
the most blood curdling oath, in
which pa agreed, if he ever drank
another drop, to allow any body to
pull his toe-nails out with tweezers,
TO have his liver dug out and fed
to dogs, his head chopped off and
his eyes removed. Then the mogul
said he would brand the candidate
on the bare back with the initial
letters of our order, Sc. t. that all
might read how a brand had been
snatched from the burning. You'd
died TO see pa finch when 1 pull
ed up his shirt and got ready to
brand him. My chum got a piece
of ice out of the water-cooler, and
just as he clapped it onto pas back,
L burned piece of horses hoof in
the candle and held it to pas nose,
and / guess pa actually thought it
was his burning skin that he smell
ed. He jumped about six feet and
said, Great Heavens, what you
dewin," and then he began to roll
over a barrel which / had arranged
for him. Pa thought he was going
down cellar, and he hung TO the
barrel, but he was on top half the
time. When pa and the barrel got
through fighting / was beside him,
and said 'calm yourself, and be
prepared for the ordeal that is to
follow Pa asked how much of this
dunn fooling there was, and he said
he was sorry he joined. He said
he could let Ticker alone without
having the skin all burned off has
back. told pa TO be brave and
not weaken and all would be well.
Hewiped the perspiration off his face
on the end of his shirt, and weput a
beltaround his body and hitched it to
a tackel, and pulled him upso his feet
were just off the floor, and then we
talked as though we were away off,
and / told my chum o look out that
pa did not hit the gas fixtures, and pa
actually thought he was being haul
ed clear up to the roof. / could see
he was scared by the complexion of
his hand and feet, as they clawed
the air. He actually sweat so the
drops fell on the floor. Bime-by we
let him down, and he was awfully
relieved, though his feet were not
more than two inches from the
floor. We were just going to slide
pa down a board with slivers in to
give him a realizing sense of the
rough road a reformed man had to
travel, and had got him straddle OF
the board, when the Dutchman
came home from the dance, fullern a
goose, and he drove us boys out,
and we left pa, and the Dutchman
said, 'Vot you vas doing here init
dose boys, you old duffer, and we're
vas your pants ?" and pa pulled off
the handkerchief from his eyes, and
the Dutchman said if he didn't get
out in a holy minute he would kick
the stuffin out of him; and pa got
out. He took his pants and put
them on out in the alley and then
we come up 10 pa and told him
that was the third time the drum
ken Dutchman had broken up our
lodge, but we should keep on doing
good until we had redeemed every
drunkard in Milwaukee, and pa
said that was right and he would
see US through il 1t cost every dol
he had. Then we took him home,
and when ma asked if she couldn't
join the lodge, too, pa said take ad-
vice and don't you never join no
Good Templars. Your system
could not stand the racket. Say, l
want you to put some cold cream on
my backv 1 think pa will be a
different man now, don't you ?'
The grocery man said that if he
was that boys pa fifteen minutes
he would be different boy or there
would tie a funeral, and the boy
took handful of soft-shelled al
monds and few layers of raisins
and skipped out.