The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-02-04
Historical HumbugS - Will
liam Tell.

1 \
There are humbugs everywhere.
Whether we seek them abroad, or
look at home, this truth is mani
fest; but it is particularly remarka-
bic what number of them still re-
main on the page of history.
Because they are venerable and
romantic, people are afraid to ex-
pose them. But truth must out,
and We propose to have a tilt at
them all around, great and small.
Let US begin with William Tell.
How many centuries has that patri-
otto nonentity been shooting at that
eternal apple? Dramatically treated
by Schiller, he is interesting; oper-
auically, by ROssini, even more so;
bu: as to facts, the remark, "TeIl
est la ole" is anything but applica-
bic to this case, since William Tell
never had any life at all, but was a
myth, as pure-if not as simple--as
that other William immortalized
by Madame Rachel.
The following facts. at least, are
now admitted by all historians:
]. Gessler was not tyrannical
governor.
2. There never was governor Of
that name.
8. Tells father-in-law was not
maltreated.
4. He had no father-in-laW.
5. The Swiss revolution was not
led by Tell.
6. Tell never existed at all.
II this is not enough, let US cliti-
cally examine the well-known lie.
gend, and we shall find that it will
not stand the test.
"William Tells father.in-law, an
aged man, having incurred the re-
sentiment of the governor, was bar
barously punished BY him. Tell
resolved en- revenge. GesSlsr, to
bumiliAte the disaffected Swiss, Or
dered the ducal cap Of Austria to
be placed on a pole" Very All
likely that 3 Pole should be made
. Duke Of Austria. What was the
, name Of the Pole, and heW many
} of his descendants are liv-
ling? "He commanded all who
passed by to stop and bow to its
How could they stop and bow to it
3 If they passed byP Tell ives evil
IDENTIFY unable or unwilling to IN
{ dertake the difficult feat; so he was
g taken into custody, and then "Ges.
sler tyrannically commanded him to
! shoot the apple off his sons head
t Surely this was not tyrannical. It
v was an easy task to shoot an apple
: off his head; the difficulty was to
3 shoot it when it was on his head
I, without injuring him. However
I it is recorded that William Tell per.
formed the operation successfully
: and "cleft the apple to the core
T immediately 'fJhere was General
1 Shout" What further proof have
) we Of the existence of an Austrian
S general of that name, and what has
e he to do with the affair?
e And Tell, TO the satisfaction OF
:. all, was about to be set free, when
e Gessler noticed that he had a Sec
1 ond arrow concealed in his belt. He
: asked what it was for, and Tell re-
e piled, TO send to thy heart had
9 slain my child" This was alto
: gether SO unnecessary and melo
: dramatic reply. and so obviously
I intended Though no man is here,) tt
1 produce Telling and ArroW-ing
g effect, that we don't think it really
e happened, much. The legend then
,. relates that William Tell, being
i taken in boat to Gessler's seat OF
L government, storm came on il
: the middle of the lake Zurich, anC
e all the Governors followers became
d reduced to imbecility.
g "Tell, who was noted for a steers
!, man as well as for an alcher," (the
? mountaineers of Switzerland were
|. perfect in navigation,) undertook
I to steer the vessel; so he was IN
d bound, and Immediately seized the
e tiller." We imagine the only sort
/ of tillers the pastoral Tell knew
o much about were tillers of the soil
: however, "he guided the boat safely
y ashore. Landing first, he leveled his
s bow and shot Gessler to the heart.
i The legand thus contradicts itself
9 for it elsewhere describes the gov.
s ernor as "a tyrant lUhoSe heart
9 nothing could touch" "a revolt
followed; the Oppressors of the
I country were driven out, and indie.
9 pendence crowned the efforts of the
e petriots." Being republicans, it is
Il doubtful whether they cared much
= about having anything crowned in
their country. But we think enough
has been said to prove that William
Tell is entitled to a first rank in
2 historical humbug, and to make
g our readers, when they are bothered
a about that mythical hero, scorn.
f fully exclaim, 'sDon't Tell mew