The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1883-06-15
HUMOR OF II DAY.

A Journalists club-Thel lead pencil.
Border MISUNDERSTANDING out the
carpets.
A kid-cleansing establishment-The
public bath-house.-Boston Star.
The most popular club in New York
is 1.-The Locust" 1t is supported by
policemen-at $1,000 per year.
Knitting silk stockings is the latest
fashionable racket. There is no money
in jug painting, and no more room for
the jugs.
In answer to the question, "What
is fame?" a Kentucky paper replies
that it is a word of four letters, and
that's about all it is.
A. my cousin lost his reason
through love-" b. "That isn't saying
much. A friend of mine became a
postman only in order to get his letters
from his sweetheart sooner."-FHe.
gende Blat'er.
A philosopher has discovered that
the rib from which woman was formed
was taken from the right side of man.
Which may account for mans desire
to keep on the right side of the gentler
seX.-YonkerS Statesman.
AT a prayer meeting the other night
the burden of the remarks was about
those who had died recently. There
was some smiling when the deacon in
charge then said: I'VE will close by
singing Praise Gcd from Whom all
blessings how.'"-BoSton Glo5e.
Did you ever notice the warning,
"Paint," posted on a door, that you
didn't feel the matter with your finger
Just to find out if it wasn't dry enough
to take the sign? You probably
never did. 1t would be contrary to
human nature Rochester ElpreSS.
"You ought to see my new dog"
said A. to B. "He's one of the best
Gordon settlers l ever saw" 1--WE got
a setter that will lay over him." re-
joinel b. "Bet youa V you haven't"
"Taken," sad B. The bet is still I'M
de ided because b. trotted out a hem
Boston Courier.
"Woman's rights !" exclaimed a
Philadelphia man, when the subject
was preached: What more rights
do they want? My wife bosses me;
our daughters boss us both, and the
servant girl bosses the whole family.
It's time the men were allowed some
rights."-Philadslphia News.
The war department recently adver-
tised for proposals to furnish the army
with 5000 scrubbing brushes. An
army armed with scrubbing brushes
would certainly send a thrill of terror
through the enemy. Our army, it is
suspected, contemplate securing the
plains and having q brush with the
Indians. -NorristOUn II raid.
Colonel Faceabout is nominated for
town officer. do you Think asks
his nearest friend, "that the colonel
will run well?" NJ doubt of it," re-
plies Corporal Lance, who was in the
colonel's regiment; THAT is If he
hasn't changed wonderfully. L know
he used to run well when he was in
the army."-BoSton Transcript.
The birdlet on the treeling
Now carols forth his ~notelet,
The boy that hath no feeling
Ties tin cans to the goatlet.
What then? The spring is here,
In palace and in hutl I;
The goat doth get upon his ear,
And gives that boy a bullet.
-Hdrrdrd Crimson.
Mamie having been helped twice to
everything OIL the table slid down,
when the coffee calne in, from her
chair. with Il sigh. There, now" said
her mamma, "Isuprosey you have eaten
so much that you feel uncomfortable"
Don't" replied Mamie, quickly, with
a toss of her little head. Il only Just
feel nice and smooth."-Hafper'S
BdzdT.
The addresses Of a certain young
man having been declined by a young
lady. he paid court to her sister. "Ilow
much you resemble your sister, said
he. on the evening of the first call.
"You have got the same hair, and the
same forehead, and the same eyes"
And the same noes" she adled,
oufohlv He has stunned callipp at