Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-08-17
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The Lost Collar-Button.

The Lost Collar-Button.
Just as the train was going out Of
Wilmington, a tall thin individual,
with faded, ready-made clothes, came
into the Car.
He had neck like a pump-handle,
and around it he wore a great stand
ing-ccllar, whose points stood Hp like
a pair of mule-ears.
He sat down, and entered into con-
versation with couple of men who
were lounging by the stove. Present
ly something seem to startle him, and
he quickly arose to his feet.
lie had lost his front collar button.
1t is unpleasant enough TO lose your
rear collar button, and have your col
lar work up On the back of your head.
But losing the front collar button is a
great deal worse, because it releases
the ends of the collar, and let's them
fly out on your shoulders. That is
what took place with the man who
boarded the train at Wilmington. AS
soon as he was on his feet his collar
was saving the air, as though trying
to fly off his shirt.
Tie first thing he did was to feel
the hutton hole, to see if the button
was there. 1t wasn't.
TheL he drew the ends of tie collar
in place and held them there with
one hand, while he ielt through his
vest pockets for the missing button.
After this he hammered his ribs, un-
der the impression that the button
haG gone down his neck and would
descend into his shoe.
Suddenly, forgetting himself, he let
go of the collar. ends, and they flew
right up against the sides of his head,
and be commenced exploring his
clothes, while some one yelled:
DO you think you swallowed it,
The man paid no attention to this
remark, but commenced looking
around on the seat of the car and Oh
the floor.
Still he couldn't find the collar but
ton, which he imagined must have
rolled urder the stove, because his
collar. button always liked to 60 under
the bureau at home, and he had often
laid his eye balls on the floor TO look
under after it.
He couldn't we'll do that on the
train, because the brakeman might
suddenly open the door and hit him
an The head with 1t.
By this time the ends Of the collar
were flying all around, and the mar
tied a piece oil cord through the but
ton. holes. and fixed the collar dowr
snug. and tied his crayat.
Before he had his hands off the era
vat. the collar was way up under hi'
throat. and the neck-tie looked very
candy beneath it on his bare neck
That was the time that he asked one
Of the men for some pins. They
made a search ard found just one
min. Putting pin through one
thickness of collar is no small trlumph
but when you come 10 forcing !,
through two thicknesses, you will
find that you have a very large circus
on your hands.
The man who furnished the pr
kindly undertook to insert 1t; SO az
got the collar ends together, ana JUS
as he found what he considered a ten
der spot and placed the point agains
| it, the car gave lurch, and the pii
Slipped off the collar, and went SO fa
1 into the mans neck that he though b
for moment he had entered Int
business relations with hornet.
Then another attempt was made
This time the pin bent, but was quick
Ily Strengthened by the manipniatoi
who chewed it into shape. Placin
the point against the collar ono
more, the man attempted to push ]
through with the handle OF his pen
knife. But just as itlooked as thoug
the pin was going through, the knii
slipped, and the pin ran way up Int
i the thumb of the man who was tryln
to force 1t through.
4 All this time the owner OF the col
lar was looking up in the air like
chicken drinking, and making a.
sorts of curious faces, while he dill
gently felt through his clothes to Sc
If the collar button mig bit not be there
after all. But he couldn't find i
On the next essay the pin slipped an
went in crack in the floor, and the
couldn't get it out. just as the
would feel it the car would lurch an
throw the pin little to one side.
All this time the collar was fioT
ping around at lively rate; but the
kept right on their knees, determine
to get that pin. About this time tn
cars gave an awful lurch, and the
10th lost their balance and went roll
ing toward the stove.
J, While rolling toward the stove, tn
candy fend sprung through the doc
in his usual tempestous and careles
manner. and fell over them, scatterin
the aisle with candy and apples.
While they were rolling around, a
mix,d ur, man Started for the en-
of the car to get glass OF ice-wate
and stepped on an apple, which sht
from under his foot and landed hi
on the coal, which upset all over then
The conductor came in and though
there was rough-and-tumble fgl
going on.
1t took them about FIVE minutes