The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1883-05-31
Stndvine the Tima-Tahla.


'tMy dear" said Mr.. Spoopendyke,
running his thumb down the list of towns
on the timetable and glaring helplessly
man must have given me the wrong
business. We can never get anywhere
with this
Lets see." murmured Mrs. Spoop-
cndyke, laying her hand on his arm and
drawing the timetable toward her.
There's Boston Lv. and Albany Ar.
2;30 to 2:40. That's plain enough"
at is, is it?" snorted, Mr.. Spoopendykc,
abandoning the table and bending his
eyes on his wife. Think that's plain
enough, do ye? Show me how you
make it. If you've got this thing by the
tail, wiggle itonce for my information. -
"Why," lluttered Mrs. .Spoopendyke,
you just add 'em together. Ought S
ought, four and three's seven, eight and
t'vo's ten, put down the ought and car
ry----''
Garry swill to the hogs!' roared
Spoopendyke, bracing himself in his
seat and's,wycying his wife with marked
'disapprobation. That's about as much
as you know, anyway. What interest
hiss, Ly. and Ar got. lin this thing? Got
sonlo kind of q notion that they own the
road haven't yo? P'raps ye think one's s
q tunnel and the others bridge. Well,
they amt, and they're not half-baked
fclplies who don't know q timetable
from q dog law. Now, you let me fig
uro this tiiiiig if you don't want to spend
the<balance of your precious life on the
road.
Certainly, my dear" cooed Mrs.
Spoopcndyke, nesting up to her hus-
band and @lancing around the car to see
if he had been overheard. .'You can
make it out if anybody can. ....
CHOW, we started from New York at
1880 q. H." continued Mr., SpOopen-
dyke, ''and we got to Buffalo at 1915 Il.
m. Then according to this, we leave
Buffalo at 1885 and 12:40 for Chicago
sWhatI want to know is, why we leave
Buffalo twice"
81 suppose its to make sure of getting
away from thero, -" suggested Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. fastening her thumb and fore
finger on the margin of the Timetable
with u death grip. MAY be the engine
leaves at 1896 and the last car at 1910, -
she added, us the new explanation oc-
CURED to her. ''Anyhow it is better to
get away from there twice than stay
there altogether don't you think so,
dear?" and she looked up at him con-
fidingly.
ss'S,pose anybody along the line of this
road knows what you are driving at?''
snarled Spoopendyke, hauling at his end
OF the timetable. ''Let 60, will ye?
Engine leaves at12:40! That's the idea!
1t took you to hit it! When I get time
to fix you up with a cowcatcher and a
schedule of cut rates, I'm going to start
aa opposition road with you! Now let
this thing alone, I tell yep
There it is!' exclaimed Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, flushing with another discovery.
'l've got it now! OF course we've cot
to leave Buffalo twice to get to Chicago
twice!'' and Mrs. Spoopendyke settled
herself back and regarded the table with
much complacency.
"Ch, you've got it, roared Spoopen-
dyke! ''This railroad is twins! Leaves
everywhere twice and gets everywhere
twice! Nobody would have even found
it out but you! All you want now is a
misplaced switch and q coroner's in
quest to be a through trunk line! Can t
you see that's two different trains that
get in here at 7:40? S'pose they only
run one train on this dod gasted road !?
Got notion that the train goes both
ways at the same time? l know all
about this as well as you do, but what !
want to understand is how this train
leaves Buffalo twice. Got it now? Think
you've fathomed my design on this time-
tableP'
Perhaps there are two different trains
out of Buffalo," hazarded Mrs. Spoop-
endyke.
MIR. Spoopendyke deliberately tore the
time table into q thousand pieces, drop
ped them carefully under the seat, buried
his hands in. his pockets and gazed odt
of the window.
81 don't care" soliloquized Mrs.
Spoopendyke. There can t two trains
arrive anywhere without leaving some
where, and anyhow, suppose we'd get
to Chicago just as we'll if we didn't IN
dcrstand about this Buffalo affair"
With which consoling reflection, Mrs.
Spoopendyke settled herself in her seat
and gave herself up to considering how
that girl on the other side of the aisle
would act if she knew how much her
laughing and loud talking with her es-
cort offended the more virtuous-minded
of her B7ooktyna Eagle.