Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-08-27
NOT POSTED IN FRENCH.

w HeH HAL ueeuIS HlulSell So at
tractive as to imagine that the world
wants to creep right after him like a
shadow, he ought to be given a rub
Der nipple, and slowed away in the
cavity of some crib. You will par
don this statement, coming as it
does from the lips of a man who
paddles in the same canoe with Apollo
and Mark Anthony-so to speak, for
l assure you, it is not in juxtaposi-
tion with my usual belief. The fact
is. however, like many man whose
egotism exceeds his common sense.
l have made an ass of myself; and
when man has the self-abnegation
to come down to the level of that
stoical, and unassuming quadruped,
you can rest assured he has done
something for which he should feel
ashamed. Two weeks ago l was the
recipient of the following letter, which
/ will give verbatim, and without any
change.
MONSIEUR: Henriette, ma file, a qui
vous devex pour lie lavage de lie amiee
derniere, demande etre payee immediat-
ement Son marriage doit arriver bien
tot ct ellie bosom. C'est par amour
pour ses interets que jecris cette lettre.
Comme botre linge etait bien sale, son
acompte est de dix dollars. Votre,
De AUTMARRE.
Now l could never read French or
understand it. There is something
about it as incomprehensible to my
understanding as were some of the
ancient parallels to the Jews. Yet.
taking French manuscript and look
ing at it from a critical standpoint
1 mean, go through lot of dilapi-
dated hieroglyphics, it might be pos
sible-barely possible-for me to
catch at drift of the contents but
it would have to be done by picking
out those words with an Anglo Sax
on resemblance, and then guessing
at the rest. For instance, in the
letter l have just given, picked out
"Henriette," ''marriage,' % ''amour,"
"dollars,' and the signature of De
Autemarre. This led me in an evil
hour to give the letter the following
Interpretation. Henriette was the
daughter Of d. Autemarre in this
there could be no mistake. Some
how, accidentally OF otherwise, / had
become the beau ideal of her widest
dreams that is, typically speaking,
she had wisely placed her affections
upon true model of manly perfec-
ton. | deciphered this out of the
word "amour," signifying love; a
feeling better felt than described.
This affection led Henriette, like the
dutiful child that she was, to whisper
her secret into the auricular drums
of De Autemarre's ears. / prognos-
Gated this from the fact that De
Autemarre wrote the letter. The
result of this interview Terminated
as all such interviews terminate
when the child is the pet and the
idol of an affectionate father. d..
Autemarre wrote me of his daughter S
attachment, offered her hand in mar
riage, and, in order to insure an ac-
ceptance offered to bestow upon me
handsome dowery. This latter
conclusion / derived from the word
ssdollars" inserted at the close of the
letter. To this word, you will per-
ceive, is added a French attachment
called ssdix." Now whether "dix
dollars meant enough to bust an
English bank, or only enough to pur-
chase a bamboo fsh-pole, was an
enigma / couldn't solve. Deciding.
however, that he would offer no mea.
gre sum on such a critical undertak.
ing, / mustered up the courage tc
send De Autemarre the following re-
ply.
My DEAR De AUTEMARRE; Thanks fol
choosing me as your daughters paramour
Inform her that l am ready for business