The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1877-1885, 1883-01-10
p. ck,s lad Boy Has ~ ssoe'a-
ence with . coat n Sec'et
Societies.

the grocery man. as he went 10 INC ~"
naman bag on the shelf and took out
lohu cinnamon bark to chew.
..Whv. YES. of course | am. but what
set YOU a thinking of that:' asked the
grocery man. as he he went To the desk
an charged the boys father with a nan
n pound OF cinnamon
well. do the goats hunt when YOU
niclliatc a new caldidate:"
No. of course not The goats are
cheap ones. that have no lie. n we
muzzle them. and put pillows over their
heads. so they can't hurt anybody
saws the grocery man, as he wllheu III
a brother Odd Fellow who was seated
! on a sugar barrel, looking mysterious
But why do YOU ask"
20. nuthin. only | wish me and my
chum had muZzlei goat with a phi
low. Pa would have enjoyed his be-
I co .iinc a member of our lodge better.
You see. pa had been telling US how
much good the Masons and Odd Fellows
did. and said we ought to try and grow
! up good 50 we could iine the lodges
wlen we got bic. and l asked pa II II
would DO any hurt for us to nave a play
| lodge in my room. and pertend 10 nshl-
ate. and pa said il wouldn do any hurt.
He said it would improve our minds,
and learn Us to be men. SO my chum
and me borried a goat that lives IN a
livery stable. Say. did you know that
they keeps goat in a livery stable so the
horses won't get sick: They get used
to the smell of the goat. and after that
nothing can make them sick but n glue
factory. | wish my girl boarded IN Z
lEerv stable. then she would get used 70
tie smell. | went home with hcr from
CT urch sunday night, and the smell of
tie goat on my clothes made her sick TO
her stummick. and she acted just ike an
excursion on the lake. and said if didn't
90 and bury myself and take the smell
out of me she wouldn t never go with
me again. You see my chum AMI me
had to carry the goat up to my room
when pa and ma was out riding. and he
plated so we had to tie a handkerchief
around his nose. and his feet made such
a noise OF. the ioor that we put some
baby's socks on his feet. Gosh, how
frowY a goat smells. don't it? l should
think you Masons must have strong
stulnmix. Why don't you have a skunk
or n mule for a trade lark. Well. sir,
ny chup: and me practlced with that
goat until he could bult Il picture OF a
goat every time. We borried a buck
beer sign from a saloon man, and hung
it Oh the back of a chair, and the goat
would hit it every time. That night pa
wanted to know what we were doing up
in my room. snd | told him we were
playing lodge, and improving our minds,
and pa said that was right, there was
nothing that did boys of our age half so
much good as to initiate men. and store
BY useful nollidge. Then my chum
asked pa if he didn't want to come up
and take the grand bumper degree, and
a LATED and said he didn't care if he
did. Just to encourage III boys iu inno-
cent pastlme, that was SO improving to
our intelleX. We had shut the goat up
in a closet in my room, and he had got
over blattiug, so we took off the hand
kerchief, and he was eating some OF my
paper collars. and skate straps. We
went up stairs and told pa to come up
pretty soon and give three distinct raps,
and when we asked him who comes
there he must say, "a pilgaric who wants
t, JOIN YOU ancient order and ride the
goat Ma wanted to come up too, but
we told her if she came in it would
break up the lodge, cause a woman
couldn't keep a secret, and we didn't
cave any side saddle for the coat. Say,
If you ever tried it, the next time you
nitllte a man III your Masou's lodge, you
spinkie a little kyan pepper on tho goat
beoid Just afure you turn him loose. You
eau get three times as much fun to the
square inch OF goat. You wouldn t
think 1t was the same goat. Well, we got
all fixed and pa raped. and we let him
In and told him he must be blindfolded,
and he got on his knees a laffing, and |
tied a towel around his eyes, and then |
turned him around and made him get
down on his hands also, and then his
back was right towards the closet door,
and | put the buck beer sign right against
pa clothes: He was a laffiiu all the
tune, and said we boys were as full of fun
as they made 'em, and we told him it wa-
a solemn occasion, and we wouldn't per
nit no levity and if he didn't stop laifiu
we cOuldn give him the grand pumper
degree. Then everything was ready,
and my chum had his hand on the closet
door, and some kyan pepper in his other
hand, and asked pa, IN low bass tones,
If he felt as though he wanted to turn
back, or il he had never enough to 20
ahead and take the degree. I warned
him that it was full of dangers, as the
goat was loaded for beer, and told him he
yet hal time to ~rCtrace. his steps if he
wanted to. He said he wanted to. He
said he wanted the whole bizness, and
we could go ahead with the m~enagerie.
Then | said to pa that if he decided to 90
ahead and not blame us for the conse-
quences, to repeat after me the follow
ing: Bring forth the Royal Bumner.
and LEI him Bump!' Pa repeated the
words, and my chum sprinkled the kyan
pcrIer on the goats nCu~tache, and
he sneezed once and looked sassy. and
then he see The lager beer goat raring up,
and he started Tor 1t, just like a COW
catcher. and blatted. Pa is real fat. but
he knew he al got hit, and he grunted
and said. Hcil's Ere, what you bows
dom and then the goat gave him
ano! her degree. aud pa pulled off the
towe! and got up and started for the
stairs. and s. did the goat, and ma was
t tie bottom ~ the tairs listening. aud
when looked over lie taunisters pa and
lia ard & { goat we're all in a heap, and
ia was yelling murder, and ma was
screaming FIRE, and the goat was blaating
and -ne"zlng and bunting. and the hired
sirl came INTO the hall and The goat took
after and shs crossed herself as the goat
struck her and said, "Howly mother.
protect he and went down stairs The
we way boys slide down hill, with both
hands on %ourself, and the goat rared uu
and blatted, and pa and ma we i into their
room and shut the door, and then NV
chum and me opened the front door and
drove the goat ont. The minister, nbo
comes to see ma every three times +.
week, was Just ringing his bell, and the
.M l.I L. .HS