River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1883-06-28
THE SLIM TEACHER
What Came of a Conspiracy to Break
Up School.

Up School.
1t was given out in church Sunday
that school would open Monday morn
ing. After the evening service the boys
get togther and talked it over, and de-
cided to give the new teacher just
week. 1t had been thawing for day
or two, and the boys were tired of skat-
ing, so thew thought they could afford to
spend a week in educa ting themselves
in how to break up school. That even
ing we were duly elected member of
the class of hard citizens, and we were to
open the ball and do something bad,
get the teacher to lick us, and then the
bows were TO Jump in and help. Mon
day morning the school commenced,
and the teacher proved to be a sickly-
looking, slim sort of fellow, tinlid,
nervous man, with hand and face like
a girl. Every time he looked at one of
the bows there seemed to be an express
sion on his face as though he would say,
al hope you will be good" When he
had anything to say to his scholars he
said please, and gave other evidences
of being pretty soft, we all thought.
That morning the weather changed, and
it froze hard, and at recess the boys got
together and said We would wind up the
school before noon and go out on the ice.
1t was our turn to be bad, and it COM
menced right off. The big boys had to
carry in the wood and lay it quietly b.
the stove We took in an armful and
dronped it on the floor so that it shook
The building and lOOsened the stovepipe.
The pipe came out of the chimney and
filed the room with smoke, but it was
put back, and the slim teacher only
reprimanded us, and said that it must
not occur again. We just ached to go
after some more wood, but there was
no opportunity. Pretty soon the teacher
said we might go and get pail of water
and while at the we'll we decided to
stumble on entering the schoolroom,
and spill the water all over the floor, and
thus give the sickly-looking teacher a
chance to show what he was made of.
The teacher was near the s.ove, and we
stumbled, and the water went all over
everything, wetting his boots and max
ing him pretty mad. In picking 1t up
we hadn't noticed that his eyes were as
black as Goals, and that he seemed to be
about eight feet high. but as he looked
at us we could see it plainly. He seemed
to read our thoughts, and knew that 1t
was done on purpose, and we have al
ways thought he heard the boys talking
over it at recess. Anyway, he jumped
clear across the room, grabbed US by the
neck, and sat us down IN the water; then
he lifted us up and shook us so our
teeth ratified, then he seemed to
grab us all over and Just maui US.
We got chance once or twice TO look
around to the back seats, as he was re-
volving us around on our own axis, to
see if the other boys were coming to
help us put him out doors, but they were
the most studious lot of big boys we ever
saw. They had their heads down in
their books, and their lips were moving
in silent prayer. After the teacher had
mopped the floor with us, he took US by
the slack of the pants, just as dog would
carry a duck, and went to his desk and
got big hickory ruler, and proceeded
to dry our pants. Well, it was the mean
est way to dry pants that ever was, and,
while it dried them well enough, it lett
great ridges inside of them that made q
corrugated chair necessity. The BOYS
did not fulfill their part OF the program
ard when the teacher got through dry
ing our pants and said, PLEASE return
to your seat" we felt as though his po-
likeness was perfect sham. We looked
at the boys as we went TO
our seat, but they never
looked up. We have witnessed contest
ed seats in the legislature since, but never
saw one shat was as exciting as that
one in the old white schoolhouse at the
foot of the hill. The teacher never
spoke during the proceedings, and when
it was over he looked even paler and
more sickly than when he had one hand
in the hair that once grew where we are
now bald, while the other was at work
in the vineyard. But none of the boys
seemed to care to pitch on to sick man
and he taught school two terms and never
had to whip another boy. That was
the last school we ever broke up. The
slim, sickIy teacher is an old man now,
living quietly in this state with children
as old as we are, and we occasionally see
him and ask him if he remembers how
we bro6e up the school. He is feeble
now, and walks with cane, but if we
had to have fight with him even now
we would hire man to 90 it.