The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1883-12-22
From the Burlington Hawhegs.
THE BRAKEMAN AT CHURCH.
[pnRL1sHEp BY REQUEST. l

TIE CIOSS pdSociiSSl eohhO esiCCp. diO eiO
tall, thin passenger reading "Gen Grants
Tour Around the World, and wondering
why sGreen's August Flower" should be
printed above the doors of "a Buddhist
Temple at Benares. To me comes the
and seating himself on the arm
of the seat, says; 81 went to church yes
terday
aYes?'' ] said; with that interested in
Election that asks for more ''And what
church did you attend 2"
(which do you guess 2" he asked
Some union mission church, / hazard
ed
sNo," he said II don't like to run on
these branch roads very much | don't
often 90 to church, and when | do, [ want
to run on the main line, where your run is
regular and you can run on schedule time
and don't have to wait on connection. |
don't like to run on a branch Good
enough, but | don't like it.
"Episcopal?" l guessed.
Limited express, he said, ''all palace
cars and 50 extra for seat, fast time and
only stop at big stations. Nice line, but
too exhaustive for brakeman. All train
men in uniform, conductor punch and
lantern silver plated, and no train boys al
lowed Then the passengers are allowed
to talk back at the conductor, and it makes
them too free and easy. No, [ couldn't
stand the palace cars. Rich road, though
Don't often hear of a receiver being APP
pointed for that line Some mighty nice
people travel on it, too.
sEUniversalist ?" / suggested.
HBroad Gauge" said the brakeman,
"does too much complimentary business.
Everybody travels on a pass. Conductor
doesn't get a fare once in fifty miles.
Stops at flag stations, and won't run into
anything but a union depot. No smoking
car on the train. Train orders are rather
vague though, and the train men dent get
along well with the passengers. No,
don't 90 to the Universalist, but | know
some grood men who run on that road. >
Presbyterian p l asked.
"Narrow gauge, Ell ?" said the brakeman
spretty track, straight as a rule; tunne
right through a mountain rather than &C
around it; spirit-level grade; passengers
have to show their tickets before they gel
on the train Mighty strict road, but the
cars are little narrow have to sit one il
seat, and no room in the aisle to dance
Then there is no stop-over tickets allowed
got to go straight through to the station
you're ticketed for, or you can't get on al
all. When the car is full no extra coaches
cars built at the shop to hold just SO many
and nobody else allowed on. But yor
don't often hear of an accident on thai
road. It's run right up to the rules.
'tMaybe you Joined the Freethinkers
said.
"Scrub road" said the brakeman
adirt road bed and no ballast; no time card
and no train dispatcher. All trains run
wild, and every engineer makes his OWL
time, just as he pleases. Smoke if you
want to; kind of o-as-you-please road
Too many side tracks, and every switch
wide open all the time, with the switchmar
sound asleep and the target-lamp dead out
Get on as you please and get off when you
want to. Don't have to show your tickets
and the conductor isn't expected to do any.
thing but amuse the passengers. No, sir
was offered pass, but don't like the
line. | don't like to travel on road that
has no terminus Do you know, sir, ]
asked division superintendent where that
road run to, and he said he hoped to die if
he knew. [ asked him if the general su.
perintendent could tell me, and he said he
didn't believe they had general superin.
tendent, and if they had he didn't know
any more about the road than the passen-
gers | asked him who he reported to, and
he said nobody | asked conductor whe
he got his orders from, and he said he
didn't take orders from any living man OF
dead ghost. And when / asked the en-.
gineer who he got his orders from, he said
he'd like to see any body give him orders
he d run the train to suit himself, OF he'd
run it into the ditch. Now, you see, sir
I'm railroad man, and / don't care to run
on road that has no time, makes no con-
nections, runs nowhere, and has no super
intendent. 1t may be all right, but I've
railroaded too long to understand it.
maybe you went to the Congregational
Church ~
Popular road, said the brakeman ian
old road, too-one the very oldest in the
country Good road-bed and comfortable
cars. Well-managed road, too; directors
don't interfere with division superinten-
dents and train orders. Roads mighty
popular, but it's pretty independent, too
Yes, didn't one of the division superinten-
dents down east discontinue one of the
oldest stations on this line two or three
years ago? But it's a mighty pleasant
road to travel on-always has such pleas
ant class of passengers.
HDid you try the Methodist ?" said.
''Now you're shouting !" he said with
some enthusiasm. "Nice road, eh ?" Fast
time and plenty of passengers. Engines
carry power of steam, and don't you for
get it steam-gauge shows hundred, and
enough all the time. Lively road when
the conductor shouts all aboard you can
hear him at the next station. Every train
light shines like head light. Stop-over
checks are given on all through tickets !;
passenger can drop off the train as often as
he likes, do the station two or three days.
and hop on the next revival train that
comes laundering along. Good, whole
souled companionable conductors amt a
road in the country where the passengers
feel more at home. Nopasses; every pas
senger pays full traffic rates for his tickets;
Wesleyan house air-brakes on all trains, too;
pretty safe road, but | didn't ride over it
yesterday.
Perhaps you tried the Baptist = [
guessed once more.
All, ha = said the brakeman, ''she's
daisy, isn't she? River road; beautiful
curves; sweep around anything to keep
close TO the river, but it's all steel rail and
rock ballast, single track all the way, and
not side track from the round house to
the terminus. Takes heap Of water to
run it, though; double tanks at every sta
ton, and there isn't an engine in the shops
that can pull pound or run mile with
less than two gauges. But it runs through
a lovely country; those river roads always
do; river on one side and hills on the other,
and it's steady climb up the grade all the
way till the run ends where the fountain
head of the river begins. Yes, sir; I'll
take the river road every time for lovely
Trim. s,rn connections and n GOOD time and