The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-09-28
The Old Time Meal.

In the good old times OF which we
read and which are not so old but a
good many of US can very well recall
them, says writer in the Detroit Post,
the "Deestrickn school-teacher in
country places boarded around, and
lived on the fat of the land. In ex-
pectation of his coming host of good
things was prepared, but there is record
of one family who, by an oversight,
gave the poor man fright that nearly
cured him of over eating again. He
came at night and was consigned to the
best bedroom, and was sleeping the
sleep of the Just when he was awakened
by the stealthy creaking of his door
and the admission of ray of light.
He felt his heart beating like trip
hammer, and with the instinct of self
preservation, lay perfectly still and
feigned sleep. The door continued to
open and admitted a grotesque figure
in cap and spectacles and other dis
habille, carrying in its skinny hand
fearful looking knife, which it held
aloft in a threatening attitude. The
poor schoolmaster thought his time had
come, and closed his eyes to say a
prayer, when the apparition disap-
peared in the closet and proceeded to
cut savory slices of ham and links of
sausage from the provision there, and
then as stealthily retraced his steps and
vanished son hospitable thoughts in
tent for the morrow's breakfast.
"But supper's ready, come. sir, set right
We don't stand much on ceremony, here;
Just help yourself-my husbands gone to
But long bout nine o'clock guess he'll APP
pear"
The good woman makes profuse
apologies about not expecting compa-
ny, it being washing day, and nothing
fit to eat, which, in the overlooking
hospitality of her heart, she literally
believes:
Like baked potatoes? that's hard one
though;
Come, have another that is better done;
/ guess them biscuits are about all dough,
But some look brownish-take that corner
one"
Every wise woman knows how much
better the corner biscuit is than any
other, as it has a crust all around; and
one of the fraternity has invented tin
to bake even number, four, so that ev-
cry one will be corner biscuit. With
''better done' baked potato and cor
ner biscuit the teacher is again tempt
ed:
NOW try a little sausage-we don't make
Pretensions we're plain folks, just as we
seem,
And is your tea agreeable-won't you take
More sugar, or another drop of creamY
The modern habit of passing the SUI
gar and cream with the tea obviates
the necessity of using that quaint for
mula, ''Is your tea agreeable?" But it
is doubtful if the quality and quantity of
the new system surpass the old, or if
the guest suits himself any better than
in the days when ''more sugar" was
forthcoming and pitchers of cream held
quart or more of the thick, yellow
fluid.
'This Injun puddln'l Wal, twas most too
soon
To take it out-I see it amt quite prime;
aus put 'em in Monday noon
And let 'em stay till Tuesday dinner time"
One of the old CANOES of the house
hold was a sort of self-inficted rule to
depreciate everything, THUS plcvoius the
which at its best is to be considered I'M
worthy:
"Jane, pass them nut-cakes; now my hus-
band he
Conceits that 1 make nut-cakes hard to
match;
Sometimes they're light and crisp-you've no
idee
didn't have luck enough, somehow, with
this batch.
''These cookies have got awful hard and dry,
The caraway seeds like little bits of wood:
But mebbe you can eat one, now do try,
The children allus thinks they're proper
good
It would have broken the good
woman's heart to have seen her cookies
90 untouched, or to have had anyone
else say they were hard or dry-a little
fiction of her own to give then the sharp
est zest of surprise. And now, having
eaten all these good things, she asks of
her guest:
''Can you make room for lapjacks in your
plate?
They We stood so long / guess they're rather
This boy don't mind; it seems as if he ate
AS though he could never get half enough.
children are master hungry at this age.
Now don't you think SO? l declare this pie
Is dreful hot the pumpkins best I'll wage,
Well cool the mince and have il by and by"
How many ''white lies' the good
woman tells in the course of that supper
will never be recorded against her.
Call them decisions, as, for instance,
when she says of foamy light cake:
"This sweet-calze, now it riz up nice and light,
And then it fell. I'm sorry, for my man
Sets great store by it when he comes at night;
Now do make out supper if you can"
In this pleasant, simple verse, read at
an annual banquet of the sons of Yer
mont, when there was probably not a
single dish as savory as those here de-
scribed, the poet concludes by saying:
$50 speaking in apologize strain,
This woman placed before the teachers eye,
A supper that repeated once again
Might tempt the very saints to gluttony."
If the teacher "boarded round,'' as
the custom used to be, he probably felt
that his lines were cast in pleasant
places, and returned an audible thanks
giving for the mercies vouchsafed him
in finding "his board so well spread
with the daily sacraments of life
Prnlrio Farmer