davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

There are some particular people in
Michigan, y young lady, ordering
Shakespeare works of a Detroit book
seller adds; Il want the Shakespeare
works written by ShakeSpear him
self"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

That is probably the oldest piece
of furniture in England, Sail col
lector of antique curioSities toa friend
pointing to q Misunderstanding table
as he spoke How old is i'll" asked
the friend Nearly 400 years. y
''PShaw, That is nothing. | have
an Arabic table table over :, 600 years
old " "Indoed." YES, the multi
plcation table.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

\ fortune awaits the man who will
invent n penholder that you can't
stick into the mucilage bottle and Il
mucilage brush that won't go into the
inkstand.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

Fox wears have been afflicted with Hay.
Fever. l gave Eiy'S Cream Balm a .~'9l The re-
life was Immediate. regard lnySeh Cured.--CE
PriGs. ~ cents
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

-''Dr BulS0nS Cc'aH Uad ChauomHc iUi>
cured mg jriJr immediately az :, r,rc HcU.w'gi,t.
II. NJ, Cecl,lin. ShepherdtoWn, Pa. ,Nr at drug.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

Is 4 letter from Hon NYlsS PERx, Castle C,y,,N-
Limerick, Ireland. Browns Bronchial TSt,t,gEs
are thus referre& t.: Having brought Your RY,,,.
chi3l ToChSS with syhyG came to reside hen,
found that after had given them away 10 thoS,
walk for miles II ret few" Fer Coughs, Colds
and Th.0at Diseases they have no equal Soll
1sr an IN
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

Another odd shoe house has fail
ed. This should teach manufacturers
the folly of emtarking in the bust
ness of making old shoes. 1t doesn't
nav.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02
leSSeS INTO the tariff.

The first Tea~ skin cure ever discovered WAS pr
GenSous Skin cure II cures all rough and Scaly
skin diseases aud makes the skin smooth ana
healthy II is an ornament t. amy iady'S toilet
MA, has aunty got bees in her
mouth:' No, why do you ask
Cause Capt. Jones caught hold Of
her, and said he was going TO take
honey from her lips; and she said,
Wen, make haStcn'
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

A sailor is called an old salt, be
cause the minute he gets on shore he
in in pickle.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

J. p eager, Route agent on the TT. Wayne
branch Of the L. s. & NJ S. railway says: Agent
at Reading, Mich, get me two more bottles Of
Warmers White Wine of Tar. / never used its
equal for Throat trouble
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

That's the second tit our cat has
had to-day, sand an obServant young
ster. Don't keep record of such
things" remarked his smart sister
TO count her lit is a crime.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02
~
,R,rAfinn. Ai,.IrIrA

EG not wiser than You should. but he Soherly
wise and To this end commence ny testing the Nir-
tues Of Aliens Iron rouic BtterS, which supplies
the blood with uoa aids digestion, tones aud
SuputheuS the system. AMI creates Is il Were, .
new man. Try it All genuine bear tie signature
OF ! T. AEICN -, laui, Mum
\ witness can be bought III India
for ashilling. The United States, it
will be seen, would save a good deal
every year by importing witnesses,
Congress having forgotten to put wit
neSSeS into the tariff
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

\ CHfLu that wakes with The Group should have
3, dose Of l'so'S Cure.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02
Securing Engagement Rings.
\. y. MorninS Journal.

N y. MOrninS~ Journal.
Engagement rings are the natural
sequences of the summer campaign of
the bellies of the water-placeS, and
many Young man is at his wits end
to raise the necessary cash wherewith
to secure the preliminary token of flu
ture domestic bliss. Ice cream. drives,
boating and pleasure excursions gen
orally have depleted the pockets ot
the devoted beaus, and i'll many III
stances when the question, the mo-
mentous question was asked, it was
with fear and trembling that the OK
pected answer was received. On leav-
ing. the happy girl generally says;
"When you get me my ring get me a
nice one, Charley, for | went to be
proud of it, and all the girls will crit
icise it, you know. Get nice soil
taire with a skeleton setting, so the
diamond will show nicely | think
pure white stone is the best That
hateful Laura has colored one, and
| believe it is full Of flaws. She is al
ways showing it, anyhow, and if she
hasn't scratch on her finger she is
continually fixing her hair or arrang
ing her collar / want better stone
than hers. Won't you get it, dear
Il will, darling; I'll get you the
best in the market, and he departs
with a sinking heart.
The next day he makes an arrange
ment with some jeweler by which he
oets an inferior stone at high price,
which he pays for i'll weekly install
ments. Visits to his girl and the usual
presents and theatricals take up the
remainder of his salary, and when the
wedding day approaches his or her
fond parent is obliged to hand over the
necessary funds to unite the twain
and send them off on their bridal tour.
On their return they generally settle
down, and the question of the engage
ment ring and the attendant incidents
form a subject of jocular conversation
between them.
They were talking of puns. She
said when a man made pun he was
always proud Of it, but when a woman
made one she had the grace to be
ashamed of it.
He said that woman was Justly
ashamed of her puns, for they were
invariably wretched; that woman
could semi-annually make good pun
but she had to bend her whole mind
to it, and sometimes SIT up all night
to make it work smoothly, while man
could always make first-class puns off
hand.
She said it was no such thing She
could make as good pun on any
word as fast as any horrid man.
well" said the skeptical wretch,
make pun on horseshoe.
IF you talk until you're horseshoe
can't convince me, said the feeble
minded woman.
Aud he died.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

To CURE a sore throat garsle with Piso's Cur
fer Consumption. - cents
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

The Mississippi river is very low,
and cannot leave its bed.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

The supply of old confederate mon
ey is still equal to the demand, and
will be So long as these chaps in
New York keep their presses running.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02
- 49, -
The Conductor.

Conductor Warren. ot WinGua, MINI, SAYS
used one bottle Of Warmers White Vine Of Tar
Syrup. when was 50 hoavSe l could not speak
above a whisper, and in tweuty-t>ur hours il
curel me. 1t IS the best remedy ever SAW.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02
uTNEIGREaTJ
THE
Singer S Welcome /!

l.. o. FlucrECus new hook for Singing Glasses and
Conventions wins golden opinions from I'll who exam
the it.
Il am very much pleased with It, indeed" from
sent letter, Indicating the general feeling.
Ia1 pages. $50 tunes. Good instructive course, IN
clutuS the and taNUrite MANUAL SIaNs and other
inpruN emcuts.
Is cents win hiring Won specimen copy. Liberal re
ductiun FOR quantities
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

Ncnefn:a IlT- PepIOnIZtN EFeI EONIt.
the only preparation of beef containing lis eatire
3ttgfffo,ts properties. 1t contains biopd-making,
force generating and life sustaining properties
invaluable for Indigestion, Dyspepsia,
nervous pros;ratiun. and ali forms Of general
debility: also. in ali cnfeebe conditions. whether
the result of exhaustion, nervous prostration,
over work acute diseases, particularly il result
ing from pulmonary complaints. CAswELL liAz-
ARD K Co propriet1rs, New York. Sold ~ drug
gists.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02
WOMAN AND THE BABY.


What puzzle the little is domestic economy
How the mother gives Other strength support the life
OF her blessed little youngster
How the child kicks, and laughs, and crows
How the chd grows and heavier and heavier every day.
And she lifts him, and him. and plays with him, and takes
Of him by day and by night
Is wonder the mother breaks DOWN. Her back aches Her
Her bad Her blood thin she
feels poorly Yes pooyvery poorly Give mother bottle OF
blood which
there She strength viii be acn6rmed old Invalid
B10azs bon Be1s helps and woacn into new me-
cfeeruness and ygor. Tell all the mothers you know.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02
Important.

The man who departs from the right
is sure to get left
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

CrlrrsvIIIE. ALN-nr. w Carter. says: Il have
used Brown Iron HttcTS in my own family fer
Indigestion with great benefit.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

How the world has progressed with
in century, George Washington,
the first president of the United States,
never saw a steamboat. John Adams.
the second president of the United
States. never saw a railroad. Andrew
Jackson. the seventh president, kneg
nothing about the telegraph Abra-
ham Lincoln, the sixteenth president,
never dreamed Of such thing as the
telephone. The electric light has been
in successful use less than five years.
What viii those see who shall live 100
years from now, If the development
and the utilization OF the forces Of
nature and the progress of invention
shall continue to go on in the future
as they have in the past7
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

SKINNY MEN. "Welrs Health Remover" re-
storlS health and EigOr dyspepsia, impotence
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02

You could tell at a glance that that
butter wasn't old, said Jones to his
iandIady. .'0f course it isn't sir
she replied, much pleased; but how
can ron tell, SIR Why l can see
that it isn't bald yet he answered
softly, and for ten minutes naught
broke the silence save the exclama-
tons OF fly in the milk pitcher, who
was unable to swim.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02
1Icnsman's Peptonized Reef Ton

MOTHER SWANS NURN SYEUP," for feyerishness.
rCstIessncss, worms, constipation TasteieSs. 25c.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02
pc buys pair Of Lyons Patent Heel Stiffencrs
Makes a boot or shoe last twice as long

"ROCGH pN RATS Clears ont rats, mice, lies
reaches. hed-bHgs ants. ycrmin chipmunks. l5c.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-02
level Headed.

.RUEUT-PAIBA' quick. complete cures al
Lhnoy ing D tInC, aad Urinary diseases. tIU9
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-15
Made a Fiddle.

The need of something to cheer and
eXhilarate in the dreary days and nights
was painfully apparent, and gave rise
to unheard of attempts to supply the
demand. The ingenuity of the Yankee
soldier was generally equal to any such
emergency. but probably was not more
strikingly displayed than in the manu-
facture of ''fddle." 1t was at
Brandy Station" Va, in the winter of
1864 that George M. OFT, company c,
Second Vermont volunteers, proposed to
make the cheer giving instrument; and
with Ratchet, iack-knife, file and n
piece of a junk-bottle as his only tools
he cut a piece of maple from stump
that grew on the bank of the Rappa-
hammock River and set to work. The
back and sides of the fiddle are made of
one piece; Irregular dugout." The
top is of hemlock taken from a box
which brought some goodies" from
their friends in ''Varmount The bow
is of maple. The keys were made from
the horns of some Confederate cattle
that fell into our hands and were de-
voured by our carniverous soldiery, so
that the poor brutes contributed to our
mental as well as our physical welfare.
The hairs were pulled from the tail of
the Colonel's horse, who was fond Of
music and never raised foot in resist
ance. 1t is said he even signified his
willingness to furnish enough of his
hoofs for glue, but that was found else
where, and the instrument was COM
pleted and in the hands of modern
'Paganinni," who rose for the occa-
sion, gave forth its soul-stirring strains.
1t conjured up "stagdances, sere-
naded headquarters and was admired
and cherished by the officers and men
of the "Green Mountain Boys" The
rest must be left to Imagination, as far
as its army record is concerned. Suffice
it to say, it was ''honorably dis
charged" and has been the hero of
several occasions since the war, receiv-
ing the first premium at the Vermont
State fair. Rude as is its origin, its
tone is remarkably expressive, es-
pecially in the rendering of ''Old John
Brown" and other airs that were off
springs of the war, which seem to re-
vive in it the memory of the exciting
scenes of its early existence. Its maker
and owner still lives, though he re-
ceived wounds after the production of
his instrument that have nearly dis
abled him for active duty WeStfeId
(MaSS.) Times,
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-15

deeds to establish his ownership, and
they seemed satisfactory. even to the
LAWYERS. Thinking he had chance to
get 1925, 900 worth of material for S14,-
600 the victim had taken two friends in
with him, and by clubbing together
they had raised the necessary amount
Greatly" observed the Englishman,
when the recital was finished, II am
very sorry for you, but you have un-
ouestionably been swindled. For my
part shall not have the slightest diff
Guilty in establishing my identity. As
to your friend, the bogus Mr.. Ashley,
he is probably one of my cowboys,
Henry Barnes by name. The descrip-
ton certainly fits that person. He
came to the ranch--let me see-about
fourteen months ago and asked for
place. Now 1 remember he wasn't
much like the other boys, but needed
more help, and took him on. He may
have been in hiding for some crime, for
all l know. But on the plains we can
scarcely go into such matters. He did
his work all right. and seemed rather
more refined than his companions,
though he tried TO concealit. | heard
once or twice from my men that he
played very cold hand at pokern
''He does" said Hungry Joe, mourn
fully. '''+ ,i'F@''i 5
HE was an expert penman, now l
come to think of it, and he did some
work of that sort for me. He was still
there when | came away"
"And that's the cuss who got off to
Europe with my money, hang vhhf, "
burst in the defrauded confidence OPP
orator, angrily. Whats worse, he
went away full of my champagne, and
smelling of my basket of flowers. That
mans an Internal swindler, that's what
be is. ~. Y. Times.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-15

ems can surpass q heartrending letter
which i received from cultured gen
tleman (then in an alms-house) who de.
clared that he traced all the misery of
his life directly to the first glass he
ever drank at the N House, in the
capitol of Ohio" With whatever
odds in your favor, will you run the
fearful hazard? Then stop before Won
begin!-
A third reason why alcoholic drinks
are dangerous is that it is the peculiar
property of alcohol to strike directly to
the 6rGin. Some drugs have an affinity
for the heart; others Tor thcspine. The
glass of brandy aims for the brain, as A.
hound makes for hare. In striking
the brain it overturns the throne of the
reason and turns man into maniac.
Like the shot in a naval battle, which
hits between wind and water" the
alcoholic death-shot strikes where body
and mind meet, and sends both to the
bottom. No brain is proof against it.
The mghtiest man intellectually
whom l ever saw in America l once saw
pitiably drunk! Alcohol is no respecter
of persons; the giant and the idiot are
struck down alike by its stietto You
might as well put the pistol to Your
brain and make swift, sure work with
it as to poison your brain by the slowe
and equally deadly process of the bottle
Ninety-nine hundredths of all the SUR
cides in the land began with q thought
less glass. Stop, my friend, before you
beginl RI T
All intoxicating drinks are more dam
gerous in this country than in almost
any other from the nervous tempera-
ment of our people. Our climate is
stimulating, and American life, in al
most every direction, runs at high
rate of speed. Youth is commonly
stronger Al the engine than it is at the
brakes. This is pre-eminently true of
our young men. One. unanswerable
proof of the difficulty of stopping the
/ drlnk-habit is found in the fact that SO
very few, are actually reformed Not
one-tenth of those who enslave them
selves to the bottle ever break loose.
even though they cry out in their sober
moments: Would to God that | might
never taste another dropn' There was
touching pathos in the speech of one
of our ''boys in blue" to the Police
Magistrate after he was arrested for
| drunkenness. He held up a whisky
flask and said: "Your Honor the only
enemy that ever conquered me is Matt'
Yet he admitted that enemy himself
and could not dislodge it.
l might multiply arguments in favor
of total abstinence as the only certain
safeguard. The grace of God is pow
erless if you voluntarily yield to temp
tation. 1t is defiance to the Almighty
for you to leap into the rapids and en-
pect Him to save you from the cataract.
No small part of my own life has been
spent in bootless efforts to save those
who were in the swift and treacherous
current: The remainder of it shall be
spent in endeavoring to prevent young
men from embarking on the stream
which is all music and mirth at the
starting-pOint, and all damnation at the
bottom. Tons of arguments and APP
peals have been printed on this vital
question. "How to save young men
from strong drink" but they may all
be condensed into one line-St0p before
y0u begin Theodore L. Cuylcr, D. D.,
IN N. Y. independent.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-15
Medill's Liquor Statistics.

Mr.. Joseph Medill, of the Chicago
Tribune, having testified before the
Committee on Education and Labor, of
which Senator Blair is Chairman, re-
ferring to the "money thrown away on
liquor the past year." and the New York
Times attempting TO correct his fig
.ures, he replied in a letter, in which he
says:
Il did not say that 'the money thrown
away on liquor during the past year
would have furnished every one with a
comfortable home but this: that per-
sons who had made careful study of
the subject estimated the amount of
money squandered on intoxicating
drinks by the wages classes of the
United States at $500, 00O,O0 per year,
and that this sum, if it had been put
out at interest by them during the last
ten years, would now amount to nearly
5000, 900, 00C, sum sufficient to buy
every wage-worker in all the cities and
towns of the United States now paying
rent comfortable domicile, thus
emancipating them from servitude to
landlords l notice that in your
lVi oitSl SclhliVhu NOu OulN cSlluldlC lllC
wholesale value of the liquor, wine and
beer manufactured and imported,
whereas these intoxicants cost the
drinkers fully three times as much as
the wholesale price thereof 1t
costs something to maintain the
100000 saloons paying internal reve-
nue. license tax and their bar-tenders,
and the rents of the places. The num-
Der of dram-shops in this city New
York; l am told, exceeds 10000; esti-
mating their average receipts at the
very low figures of S15 per day. and
you have the huge sum of S54, 100000
per annum in this city alone, What
proportion of this money is furnished
by wages and salary classes of employees,
who compose more than three-fourths
of your total population? Computing
the average receipts OF the quarter
million of kram-shops at only $40 per
day, their aggregate sales amount TO
$500, 900, or not far from billion
year. No one will deny that half the
liquor consumed by the people OF the
United States is by the wages classes.
The farmers, who constitute one-half of
the total population, drink but COM
paratiVely little as seontrasted by the
city people. English statisticians esti-
mate the expenditure on drink Of the
British and Irish at about 100000, 600
a year, and this by a population only
two-thirds as large as ours. The waste
of earnings on drink leaves the wage
workers poor, and poverty renders
them discontinued. The reform most
needed is Temperance.
81. MEDILL."
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-15
Wonderful Jumping Horses.

Eyes" said the reformed hostler to a
reporter, Il had a horse once that
jumped over two hundred feet on a
straight road"
did he make it in one Jump ?"
said the converted mule driver.
YES" he made it in one Jump"
said the reformed hostler, land he d a
jumped thousand feet if they'd been
there, as them was--pickled pigs feet
in barrel"
81 drove horse once" said the hon
est stage-driver, THAT jumped through
a wall four feet thick.
Did it hurt the wall any ?'' said the
reformed hostler, insinuatingly.
mo-" said the honest stage-driver,
fiercely. "but it killed the horse"
Talking of horses jumping" said
the reformed hostler, 1--WE had horse
that jumped every fence on the farm,
and wound up by trying to jump over
his own tail"
"Did he do it?" said the converted
mule-driver, breathessly.
NO." he didn't" said the reformed
hostler, calmly.-M Y. Journal.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-15
KATIE',S Kisses.


To me Katie said: Its taste j ID. ..i ..'F
Nv thin lips that I'd have, an indade
They belong to me now wild yerself,
An so purity fur kissin' were made" .p
But she answered an tould me, wild eyes ~
That no star in the sky could eclipse:
can it's thrue they belong to yersilf, '''
Sure how 'ud ye kiss yer own lips 2" as.;
"Just as aisy," cried, ''as to spake, ..'s
An swater nor honey. The sun
Is cowlder by far" But she vowed
The likes nv it couldn't be done. ,.-
Thin offered the same to restore ~
Wild a seal jist as thrue as the day;
But she said: 81 nd never take back ND.
What once had given away"
"An' I'll lind We the loan NV 'em, dear,"'
Ireplied; but wild infinite scorn
She axed. did think that her lips
We're made fur to rint or to pawD7
Thin / sat jist as mute as a stone,
An niver u word did / say, .
Till Katie, onaisy like, pouted her lips
Och, the rogue y in a ravishin' way, ..
An wild dimples to timpt all the saints,
An wild bushes way up to her brow,
As soft as an angel she spake: "'U'd ye like
To be lindin' the loan NV 'em now Z"
&C. II. Thayer, in Hdrper's Magazine
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-15
In an article on Professor Ella, the

In an article on Professor Ella, the
English musician, London Truth saws:
"Apropos of kissing, | remember on
one occasion strange being arriving
suddenly in Elias room, falling into
his arms, and kissing him on both
cheeks. He was man with a thick
head of hair. A young lady, aged
seventeen, relative of Ella, was pres
ent, and seemed much surprised at the
proceeding. Afterward she said to
Ella, who was that dreadfully odd man
who kissed you?' why he remarked,
that was the great Rubinstein; he has
Just returned from America with Is, 600
in his pocket. co. said the girl
simply, Il wish he had kissed me too 'n
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-15

If you must have best girl, by all
means get one from Cleveland, 0. 1t
is alleged to be on record Us history
that a young lady of that city re-
Gently confessed that she so adored a
dentist the homeliest man in the city,
too, that she had had five sound teeth
pulled for the sole privilege of being
near him few moments.-N. Y
Journal.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-15

To wipe the dust from papered
walls take n clean, soft piece of flannel.
OF course it must not be damp, but the
dry flannel will remove the dust.-E1-
chQ1lde.