The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-03-20

Peek's Sun.

cal joke does any hurt, asked the bad
boy of the grocery man, as he came in
with his Sunday suit on, and bou-
quet in his button-hole, and pried of
a couple of figs from a new box that
had been just opened.
4 mo, sir.' said the groceryman, as
he licked OF the syrup that dripped
from quart measure, from which
he had been filling Jug. Il hold
that man that gets mad at practi-
cal joke, that is one that does not in
jure him, is fool, and he ought to
be Stunned by all decent people.
That's nice bouquet you have in
your coat. What is II, pansies? Let
me smell cf it." and the grocery man
bent over in front Of the boy TO take
a Whit at the bouquet. AS he did so
u stream Of water shot out of the in
nocent looking bouquet and struck
him full In the face, and run down
over his shirt, and the grocery man
yelled murder, and fell over barrel
of axe helves and scythe snaths, and
then gropcd around for towel to
wipe his face.
"You condum skunk" said the
grocery man TO the boy, as he took
up an axe helve and started for him,
"what kind Of golblasted squirt gun
you got there? l will maui you by
thunder" and he rolled up his shirt
sleeves. .,
There, keep your temper. I took
a test vote Of you OH the subject of
practical jokes, before the machine
began t) play upon the con1agration
that was raging on your whisky nose,
and you said man that would get
mad at joke was a fool and now l
know 1t. Here, let me show 1t 10 you.
There Is rubber hose runs from the
bouquet, inside my coat to my pants
pocket. and there is bulb of rubber
that. holds about half pint and
when a feller smells of the posy,
squeeze the bulb, and you see the re-
suit. It's fun, where you don't squirt
II on person that gets mad"
The grocery man said he would
give the boy half pounds of figs if
he would lend the bouquet to him for
half an hour to play 1t on customer,
and the boy fixed it on the grocery
man, and turned the nozzle so it
would squirt right back into the
grocery mans face. He tried il on
the first customer that come in, and
got II right in his own face, and then
the bulb in his pants pocket got to
leaking and the rest of the wafer run
down the grocery mans trousers leg,
and he gave it up in disgust, and
handed II back to the boy. slow
was 1t that your pa had to be carried
home from the sociablc in hack the
other night" asked the grocery man
as he stood close to the stove so his
pants leg would dry, ale has not got
to drinking again, has he?'
20, no. said the boy, as he filled
the bulb with vinegar, to practice on
his chum. ut was this bouquet that
got pa into the trouble. You see, ]
got pa to smell of il, aud l just filed
him chuck full of water. lie got
mad and called me all kinds Of names,
and said l was no good on earth, and
l would fetch up in states prison,
land then he wanted to borrow il to
wear to the sociablc. He said he
would have more fun than you could
shake stick at, and l asked him if
he didn't think he would fetch up in
states prison, and he said it was diff
ferent with a man. lie said when a
man played ajoke there was a certain
dignity about 1t that was lacking in a
boy. SO lent it to him, and we all
went to the sociablc in the basement
of the church. never see pa more
kittcny than he was that night. He
filled the bulb with ice water, and
and the first one he got to smell Of
his button-hole bouquet was an old
maid who thinkspa is heather, but
she likes to be made something Of by
anybody that wears pants, and when
pa sidled up to her and began talk
ing about what great work the
Christian wimmen Of the land were
doing in educating the heathcn, she
felt real good, and then she noticed
pas posy in his button-holc and she
! touched II, and then reached over her
beak to smell oft. Pa he squeezed
the bulb, and about half tea cup
full of water struck her right in the
nose, and some of 1t went into her
stranglc place, and, o, my, didn't she
yell. The sisters gathered around
her and they said her face was all
perspiration, and the paint was COM
Ing OIL, and they took her in the kitch-
en-, and she told them pa had slapped
her with dish of ice cream, and the
wimmcn told the minister and the
dcacons, and they went to pa for a
explanation, and pa told them 1t was
not SO, and the minister got interest
cd and got near pa, and pa let the
water go at him, and hit him on the
eye, and then deacon got dose,
and pa laughed, and then the minis
ter, who used to 60 to college and be