Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-24
TIE BAD BOY,
His Fourth of July Experience-His Girl
Swallows II Pickle the Wrong Way
NigGer Chases Mixed With His Girls
Feet. Her Pa Unreasonable.

Here, condemn you. you will pay
for that cat, said the grocery man t.
the bad boy, as he came in the store
all broke up, the morning after the
4th of July.
What cat!" said the boy, as he
leaned against the zinc ice box tc
cool his back, which had been having
trouble with bunch of fire crackers
IN his pistol pocket. "We haven't
ordered any cat from here. Who
ordered any cat sent to our house
We get our sausage at the market"
and the boy rubbed some cold cream
on his nose and eyebrows, where the
skin was off.
Yes, that is all right enough" said
the grocery man, "but somebody who
knew where that cat slept, in the box
OF sawdust back of the store, filed
1t full of fire crackers Wednesday
forenoon, when 1 was out to see the
procession, and never notified the cat.
and touched them off, and the cat
went through the roof of the shed.
and She hasn't got hair enough left
on her to put in tea. Now, you didn't
shcw up all the forenoon, and 1 went
and asked your ma where you was,
and she said YOU had been setting I'D
TOUR nights straight along with sick
hoy IN the Third ward, and you was
sleeping all the forenoon the 4th of
July. If that is SO, that let's you out
on the cat. but it don't stand to reason.
Own up. now, was you asleep all the
forenoon, the 4th, while other bows
were celebrating, or did you scorch
my cat?' and the grocery man looked
at the boy as though he would believe
every word he said, if he ,cas bad.
WELL said the bad boy. as he
yawned as though he had been up all
night, Il am innocent of sitting up
with your cat, but l plead guilty to
sitting up with Duffy. You see, I
am bad, and ii don't make any diff
terence where [ am, and Duffy
thumped me once, &hen we were play-
ing m, rbles, and l said 1 would get
even with him some time His ma
washes for us, and when she told me
that her boy was sick, with fever, and
had nobody to stay with him while
t5he was away, thought it would be
good way to get even with Duffy
when he was weak, and I went down
there to his shanty and gave him his
medicine, and read to him all day.
and he cried, cause he knew T ought
to have mauled him. and that night
L sat up with him while his ma did
the ironing, and Duffy was so glad
that | went down every day, and
stayed there every night, and fred
medicine down him, and let his ma
sleep, and Duffy has got mashed on
me, and he says 1 will be an angel
when L die. Last night makes five
nights l have sat up with him, and
he has got so he can eat beef tea and
crackers. My girl went back on me
cause she said was sitting up with
some other girl. She said that Duffy
story was too thin. but Duffy's ma
was washing at my girls house and
she proved what 1 said, and I was all
right again. l slept ali the forenoon
the 4tb, and then stayed with Duffy
till 4 o'clock, and got a furlough and
took my girl to the Soldiers Home.
had rather set UP with Duffy,
though"
"Oh, get out. You can't make me
believe You had rather stay in a sick
room and set up with boy, than to
take girl to the 4th of july" said
the grocery man, as he took brush
and wiped the saw dust off some
bottles OF peppersauce that he was
taking out of box. "You didn't
have any trouble with the girl, did
your
No,-not with her." said the boy,
as he looked into the little round zinc
mirror to see if his eyebrows were be-
ginning to grow. "But her pa is so
unreasonable. | think a man ought
to know better than to kick a boy
right where he has had a pack Of
tirecrackers explode in the pocket
You see, when I brought the girl
back home, she was a wreck. Don't
you never take a girl to the 4th of
July. Take the advice of boy who
has had experience. We hadn't more
than got to the Soldiers Home
grounds before some boys who were
playing tag grabbed hold of my girls
crushed strawberry polonaise and
ripped it off. That made her mad,
and she wanted me to take offense at
it, and / tried to reason with the
boys and they both jumped on me,
and l see the only way to get out of
it honorably. was to get out real spry,
and l got out. Then we sat down
under tree, to eat lunch, and my
girl swallowed a pickle the wrong
way, and 1 pounded her on tie back,
the way ma does me when I choke,
and she yelled, and a policeman
grabbed me and shook me, and asked
me what 1 was hurting that poor girl
for, and told me if did it again he
would arrest me. Everything went
wrong. After dark somebody fired a
Roman candle into my girls hat. and
set it on fire, and I grabbed the hat
and stamped on it, and spoiled her
hair that her ma bought her. By gosh,
l thought her hair was curly, but
when the wig was off. her own hair
was as straight as could be. But she
was purity, all the same. We got un-
der another tree, to get away from
the smell of burned hair, and boy
set Off nigger chaser, and it ran
right at my girls feet, and burned
her stockings, and woman put the
fire out for her, while I looked for
the boy that fired the niger chaser,
but 1 didn't want to find him. She
was pretty near wreck by that time,
though she had all her dress left ex-
cept the polonaise, and We went and
sat under a tree in quiet place, and
l put my arm around her and told
her never to mind the accidents
cause it would be dark when we got
home, and just then spark dropped
down through the tree and fell in my
! pistOl DOckat riphf poyt ~ hor xuhort