Connecticut western news., 1883-10-24
WIT AND WISDOM.

 bosom.
 DEFECT in manners is usually the de- feet of fine perceptions. Elegance comes of no breeding, but of birth.
 THOMAS MAST, the caricaturist, gets rilcd whenever he is asked if he's of blood kin to gymnast, the athlete.
 Ir is with narrow-souled people as with narrow necked bottles; the less they have in them the more noise they make in pouring out.
 "Do YOU believe in an omen ?" was once asked Ned Sothern. "Only when it has Q wv before it," was the prompt reply.
 HE that does not know those things which are of use and necessity for him to know, is an ignorant man, whatever he may know besides.
 You may be wise enough to be able to say your prayers backward, but if your life is not correct you know what you are, and so do other people.
 OF all the actions of a mans life his marriage does least concern other peo- pie, yet, of all actions of our life 'tis most meddled with by other people.
 THE roses of pleasure seldom last long enough to adorn tho brow of him who plucks them, and they are the only roses which do not return their sweetness after they have lost their beauty.
 OLD GBNT-"Ab, Mrs. B., did you keep diary during your visit to the country?" Mrs. B., indignantly "No, sir, didn't. The family bought milk from the neighbors.
 A TwELvE-YEAR-oLD boy of Franklin, Penn., burst blood-vessel while blow ing tin horn, and died ill few hours. If this item is of no use to you, cut 1t out and hand it to your neighbor. .--LoO- cI Citizen.
 A SCIENTIST says that in the moon hickory nut falling from bough would crash through a man like mimic ball. That settles it. We shall never go to the moon to gather hickory nuts.- NorY5stoaOe Herald. s~,r, BARBARoUs-"W- H--, profes- sor of crinicultural abscission and craini- ological tripsis, tonsorial artist physi- ognical hair dresser, facial operator, cranium manipulator, and capillary abridger."
 A PHYSICIAN said jocosely to police man one evening, {" I always feel safe when see policeman in the evening, fer there is no danger about" Yes, safer than feel when have doctor, was the retort. ' fasa'.-a's -.,-s4s,-.
 "No, s1R," said the young lawyer who was paying attention to fair maid en; "no, sir, don't like circuit court. There's no fun in being chased around the house by cross dog before getting chance to dive in the front door,"
 "I TELL you," said the bad boy, con fidentially, to group of youthful friends, "my mother may seem small don't believe she'd weigh more than l do. in her stocking feet-but her slip pers are heavy, you bet P
 IT is said that Socrates began the study of music only when he was sixty. This fact should be impressed upon the minds of all young ladies who practice the
 "Maiden's Prayer" long before they are
 twenty.
 BRIDES, as a rule, find it Q new and
 rather unpleasant sensation to accept
 money from their husbands immediately
 after marriage. But an all-wise Provl- dence provides for such matters, and ID course of time this feeling gradually wears away.
 AND now the merchant wary Will deem it necessary ro have an advertisement well displayed' ! played, played,
 Within his local paper;
 For that's the proper caper l Rv which to catch the coming autumn trade, trade, trade.
 l Our in Manitoba a couple of leading !, citizens had race on foot about winch 0 there was considerable betting and ex' .- citement. The local paper in it's head s ing. GA Foot Race," got in an 'T' in 'r stead of n "t." This did not suit the g connections to "t." Such an insinua IS ton was not "l"-egant.-Detroit FTe' Il Press.
 V- THE story is told of Senator "Zeb' 'n Vance, of North Carolina, that soon afte 5 his second marriage he remarked to Ill IS bride: "My dear, I'm stubborn fellow 'n and you may anticipate trouble. Nov 'n in the beginning, while am submissive r. I want to give you one piece of advice 1e If you follow it, we'll get on mighty wei lg It is this: Make me do just as darne ne please"
 MGR. CApEL was asked what struc he him most forcibly in this country, an nd he replied, "The precociousness Of chl ,le dren." He says that while in Baltimo y- the Archbishop took him to call on he lady. While making the visit boy ag' ty- four years came in the room, a"d D in mother said, "My son, speak to u ch Archbishop" He obeyed readily, an in holding out his hand, said: "How d dld Arch?"
 zap PooTs, who is Q man of chrome ess ments, drops in to sec his doctor almc Of every day about some real or imagina
 trouble. Generally he has very fil ry- line of symptoms of an appalling ch' ap- acter with which to regale his physicia' II ears, but the other day he was stumT o when the doctor made his usual inqui un- "Well, what's the matter to-day r S at Poots, disconsolately: "Well, doctor ing don't know: but I feel so well tha