The Dawson journal., 1883-05-03
THE BAD BOY.

bad boy, as The youth was firing fro
zen potatoes at the man who collects
garbage in the alley.
80, they are searching for sewer
gas, and such things, and they have
got plumbers and ouher sanitary ex-
perts till you can't rest; and | came
away for fear they would find the
sewer gas and warm my jacket
'Sh-h-h! Now don't breathe a
word Of it to a living soul, or [ am
dead boy. You see | was over to
the dairy fair at the Exposition build
ing'on Saturday night, and when
they were breaking up, Inc and my
chum, helped to carry boxes Of
cheese and fiIkins of butter, and the
cheese man gave each of us piece of
Limburger cheese, wrapped in tin
foil. Sunday morning | opened my
piece, and it made me tired. o, it
was the awfulleSt smell I ever heard
Of, except the smell when they found
a tramp, who hung himself in the
woods on the Whitefsh BAY road,
and had been dead three weeks. Pa
and Ma were Jest getting ready for
church, and [ cut off a piece of cheese
and put it in the inside pocket Of
pas vest, and [ put another in the
lining of mas mutF, and l went down
to church too, and sat on the back
seat with my chum, looking as pious
as though [ was taking up a collec-
tion. The church was pretty warm,
and by the time they got up to sing
the first hymn, pas cheese began to
smell a match against mas cheese.
Pa held one side of the hymn book
and ma held the other, and pa VIII n
he sings sings for all that is out, and
when he braced himself and sang
"Just as L am, ma thought pas
voice was tinctured with billiousness,
and she looked at him, aud hNnch-
ed him and told him to stop singing
and breathe through his nose, cause
his breath was enough to stop
clock.
Pa stopped singing and turned
around kind of cross toward ma, and
then he smelled mas cheese, and
then he turne his head The other
way and said 'whew' and they did
not sing any more, but they looked
at each other as though they smell.
ed fury. When they sat down they sat
as far apart as they could get, and
pa sat next to a woman who used to
be nurse in hospital aud when
she smelled pas cheese, she looked
as though she thought he had the
smallpox and she held her hanlker-
chief to her nose. The man in the
othes end of the pew that ma sat
near, he was a stranger from Racine,
who belongs to our church, and he
looked at ma sort Of a queer, and
when they got up to sing again the
man took his hat and went out, and
when lie came back by me, he said
something in whisper about a fe-
male glue factory. Well, Sit, before
the sermon was over everybody in
that part of the church had their
handkerchiefS to their u'oses. and
they looked at pa and ma scandal
Gus, and the two ushers they came
around in the pews looking for dog
and when the minister got over his
sermon, aud wiped the perspiration
eff his face, he said he would like to
have the trustees of the church
stay after meeting as there was bus
mess of importance to transact. Tie
said the question Of proper ventilation
aud sewerage of the church would
be brought up, and that he presumed
the congregation had noticed this
morning that the church was unusu-
ally full of sewer gas He said he
had spoken of the matter before, and
expected 1t would be attended to be
fore this He said he was meek
and humble follower of the lamb, and
willing to cast his lot whore ever the
master decided, but he would be
blessed il he would preach any more
in church that smelled like a bone
boiling ablishment. He said that
was a good thing, but no
person could enjoy religion as well in
a fat rending establishment as he
could in n flower garden and as far
as he was concerned, he had got
enough.
Everybody looked at everybody
else, but pa looked at ma as th0uglt
he knew where the sewer gas came
from and ma looked at pa real
mad, and me and my chum lit out
and | went home and distributed nv
cheese all around. put a slice in
mas beanreau drawer down under
her underclothes. and d piece in the
spare room, under the bed, and a
piece in the bath room III the soap
dish, and q slice in the album on the
parlor table, ana piece in the IL
brary in a book, and | went to the
dining room and put some under the
table, ana dropped a piece under the
range in the kitchen. I tell you the
house was loaded for bear. Ma came
home from church first, and when /
asked her where pa was, she said she
hoped he bad gone to walk around a
block to air himself. Pa came home
to dinner, and when he got smell
Of the house he opened all the doors
and ma pat comfort around
her shoulders and told pa he was a
sisgrace to civilization. She tried to
get pa to drink some carbolic acid.
Pa at last convinced ma it was not
aa.1 H.. I