The Press., 1883-04-12

come it over that old snappin' Lizbuth So went down an set on the steps, an when Henry come long, I sez, ''Sophy's awful sorry she sent that valentine, an she wouldn't nuther, if Lisbnth hadn't dared her to, an she ain't mad with you, COS she cried bout it. Its all that Lis buth, an she's pullin' wool over yer eyes, maxim b'leeve she's so good. Jest feel O my ears, an see how sore they be where she snapped 'em. She hain't no more feelin's than camel" An sez he all in a twitter, s'Be you sure Sophy hain't mad with me ?" an sez, "Of course be. I heerd her,say so, when she was a-puttin' the arnicky on." An sez he, 1T wish I could see her an talk with her bout it, ]" an sez l. ''she's goin' to walk in the park with me t'morrer afternoon" an sez he, ssI'l be there, but don't you tell her" an then he give me two shillin's, an went an bought me some lick irish an hull lot O gum, an some candy.
 The next day Sophy, she went a-walkin' in the park, an Henry, he come, an she got pale, but he sed somethin' an she wa'n't pale any more, an they went off an I had good time plaguin' the geese on the pond. Jimmy Jones an me, we tied 8 cracker onto string an throw'd it at the goose, an he up an swallered it like hog, | an we pulled him right up to where we sot. An Jimmy he sed the goose couldn't let up the cracker COS it was hitched agin' his gizzard. Gooses has their gizzard right up in their throats COS they make vit- tels taste good.
 | When Sophy an Henry come back they lookt awful smilin', an he kisst me an sed I was goin' to be his little brother, an askt Sophy if that was so, an she sed she s'posed' twas, an as how If t hadn't ben fer me mebbe 'twouldn't have been so, an then she kisst me, an he kisst her, an sed I'd run on home COS I wanted to tell 'Lisbuth.
 'Lizbuth, she was in the parlor, an I new brother" an sez she, "What on earth does the young 'un mean now?' An I sez, ''Its Henry. He an Sophy's made up, an they're comin' up the path now, an ,twouldn't happened eff I hadn't did it, an I told him how you snapped me, an | he give me two shillin's.'' Then she lookt out an see 'em, a-tryin' to crowd each oth- CT offir the path, they was that clost to- gether, an she was jest hoppin' mad, you bet yer boots. "You little wretch" sez she, an she grabbed me, an she snapped me the worst l ever saw, an my ars they swelled up awful an was black an blue. But didn't care so much COS she was so mad. I lafft once, an would ag'in eff she hadn't snapped so. Jimmy Jones, he read in book bout man, he was tray lin, an worm, he kep' a gittin' in his way, an bymeby the man he stept onto him, an the worm sez, ""Dont you do that az in" /" but the man he did, an the worm up en- bit him. an the man swelled up an died, an the worm sed he was glad ov it COS it served him right, he'd no bisness to be steppin' on him an that's the way with 'Lisbuth, she'd no bisness to be g snappin' me. Boys can't stan ev'rything no more'n worms. But Lisbuth Want she mad, though! I had to dodge her 1 for more'n week, COS she'd go fer to snap me every time was clost to her. An I'd say, "You don't seem to feel as good as Sophy an Henry does, Lisbuth. Be chipper," an then she'd look jest as eff she'd like to snap my head of, an I'd laff: 1 I'll bet she was sorry, then, that she'd snapped me so. I don't care, eff she hadn't wanted me to do somethin' she needn't ha' used me so. Folks hain't no bisness to snap boys ears jest COS they're big.