Huntsville gazette., 1883-06-09
On the Management of Children.

OF harplng perpetually upon child 8
shortcomings or defects Sometimes it
is physical popularity hair, a
sqWnt eye, pug nose, some uncom-
mon development of feature or form
| that receives comment. This. as it is
| generally only jocular, good-natured
Dadgerlng, is not extremely serious,
though evil sometimes results. as a
morbid self-eonsciouSness is likely to be
developed, both painful and injurious
to the child. Frequently the fruit is ex-
cessive shyness or awkwardness, diff
cult to overcome even after the primary
cause may have been outgrown. p
But when it is some mental trait that
is made the never-ending topic of re-
mark, with gloomy or sarcastic prog
nostications of the future that is to re-
suit, most evil results accrue. If it is
true, as noted novelist has told. us,
that I'VE are apt to believe what the
world believes about US, it is still more
a truth as regards children, who are
scarcely capable of deciding for them
selves any knotty point, whose thoughts
are more or less confused at the best,
who naturally turn to parents or guard
ianS rather than to the voice of con-
| science for the right or wrong of any,
thing, and whose most intimate asso-
ciates stand to them for the world. A
policy of this kind can not but prove
dulling to the sensibilities and harden
ing to the heart. Many a parent who
has harped upon his child's shortconl-
ings till he has hammered that childs
heart to stone, wonders that his child
persists in the even tenor of his way,
| paying no more attention to remon-
strances than to the voice of the wind
1t would be a thing to wonder at more
| if he did otherwise y.
That which is berated may be real
| fault Incidence, untruthfulness, lack
of order and the like; or it may be SIM
| ply that the fault is in the parents eve
| that the child is not to the parent s
mind. The child may exceed in physi-
cal energy, when the parent would have
more intellectual strength; Or he may be
studious and dreamy, when the parent
desires him to be matter-of-fact. The
harping and hammering 90 on, day af-
ter day, in season and out of season, till
the child comes to look upon home as a
place of torment rather than refuge, and
upon the parent as an avenging Meme
SIS rather than a being to reverence and
love. If the victim is boy, he is quite
likely, after a certain age, to keep out
of the way as much as he can, if he does
not quit the premises altogether, which
project is meditated by nine out of every
ten boys SO situated. Happy for both
parent and child if the latter seek not
at "saloon," or some other equally de-
moralizing resort, that freedom which
he misses in the home. There is Oft
times something exceedingly pathetic
about these much -berated little ones
Listless and dispirited, too often sullen
as well as sad, all childish sparkle and
spontaneity lost, they go about with
dropping heads and downcast eyes, as
if in gloomy meditation on the ever-ex-
pected storm. n
Doubtless with most parents the prac-
tice of excessive chiding is begun with
the honest purpose of amending some
fault, but continued from force of habit,
or often from irritation of mind induced
by the child's failing to heed and be
healed. The fact is that children so
dealt with seldom do heed. Gentle,
steady firmness may, indeed, take more
patience, energy and time than stream
of reproofs, but let the parent be as
sured that if the former does not cure,
the latter never will.
Dickens gives us good illustration
of this kind of management in the child
hood and early school life of David Cop
perfield. What true and pathetic pic
ture is that of the boys distress of mind
as he is about leaving home for school
of his anxiety and trepidation lest the
Murdstones have sent his eharacter-as
they themselves daily depicted it to the
boy-on in advance OF him, predispos-
ing his future associates against him,
and setting him at once in disgrace be-
fore the SCHOOL, What barbarous as
well as disastrous policy! Yet how many
children are made to suffer in like ways
and far more keenly, often, than their
elders are aware! Poor David, with all
his trials and the evils imputed to him
bv his tormentors, is still model child.
Few children, | think, with his ex-
perience, would have turned out SO well.
If any parent feels an uncertainty
about the i'll effects of Giving under
cloud" let him try the experiment for
himself. Let him offend the prejudices
of the community, or let some enemy
instill suspicion or dislike into the
minds of his associates; let him for
few months meet with shoulder-shrug-
gings where he is accustomed to hand
shakings, with Indifferent mods where
he expects greeting, and then let him
declare whether his experience has
served either to sweeten his temper or
soften his heart. Even if he be innocent
of any evil, he will find the cross none
too light. But in any case we elders
still have the best of it; we can at least
hurl back coldness for GOODNESS and dis
dain for disdain. Not so with the chill
dren. They are expected to keep in
mind the divine command, Honor thy
father and thy mother and never, un-
der any provocation, to ''answer back"
If they do forget themselves, Solomon's
remedy is generally brought into speedy
use. to teach these small atoms of ha-
manity their weakness and their de-
pendence, which, poor things, they al
ready know too well!-Couftry Gem
tlemGn.