Connecticut western news., 1883-07-25
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS.
WHAT WE FIND IN THEM TO SMILE
 OVER THIS WEEK.
Too much Misunderstanding Something To Spell Baker-Clippings from Texas SiftinGs. Etc., Etc.
TOO MUCH vERBosITY.

TOO MUCH vERBosITY.
 There was chap on the boat that lived at Jackson, Miss, and he was tell ing us many anecdotes regarding the negro population. Among others he had friend who one day asked of an aged darkey:
 "Well, Colonel, what particular ossi- fcatioa has predominated over the rami- fcations of late ?"
 The old man gave pull at his hat with one hand and scratched his head with the other, and answered:
 "Wall, sah, reckons dat was him gwine down de road few minits ago on top of mewl!'
 There was a passenger from Rhode Island who was greatly amused by these anecdotes, and two or three times after ward I caught him hunting in dic- tionary for big words and stringing them together. When we arrived at Natchez he was all loaded up. A lot of us went up to see the town, and as we gained the crest of the long and dusty hill we met colored woman on her way down. Here was the chance the smart Aleck had been waiting for, and he halted her | and demanded: .- ,s.-...
 Madam, have you systematized the disability of the precocious influenza this morning?"
 He was lowing and smiling, and she looked thunder-struck After minute she asked:
 "What's dat you remark ?"
 "I percolated the Interrogation as tc whether you had ambuscaded the gigan. tic verbosity," he continued.
 "No, sah, hasn't" she said as she removed the basket from her head, ''but Ize gwine to right away"
 With that she brought him a clip with her hand on his ear, and followed it ur by bunt in the back that sprawled him into the dust and left him gasping like @ fish.
 "If de verbosity wants enny mo he can foller me down to the leveer' she remarked as she walked off; but ht didn't. He was dust from head to foot his humorous nature had evaporated and he got back to the boat to keep hit berth for the next eight hours. Th' negro is an odd coon at times, but ther, are other times when the gigantic yer bosity" doesn't hit his funny bon, within rod. Detroit Free Press,
 THE RELIEF.
 There is one humorous incident con nected with the Seventh Regiment turn at the New York State camp il Peekskill that has not yet appeared il print The sentinels had been left ol post an hour longer than the prescribed time. It was raining, and they wer' wet, tired and hungry. General Will son, of the regular army, accompanied the officer of the day on the grand rounds that night in order to judge of the disci pline and competency of the city sol diers.
 "Halt Who comes there ?" one sen try asked.
 s'The Grand Rounds" was the reply
 "Oh, pshaw thought it was tn relief" said the young soldier, forgettinI all about the formula, and letting hi feelings escape him.
 GOING TO READ SOMETHING ELSE.
 The newspaper editor who has beel vexing his soul over the way the you'll of the land gulped down dime novels o the blood-and- thunder sort can feel bet ter. A change of sentiment has alread, betrayed itself, and there is reason t hope that "One-Eyed Dick and ''Dead Shot .Jim'' will soon be out of print Yesterday lad of fourteen, who has de voured about thousand five and te cent novels during the last year, en tered a Woodward ave. news-store, an when the clerk handed him down 9Th Black Demon of the Prairies" and othe late publications of the sort he trlrne away with sigh and remarked
 "I don't care for lem any more." "Why, what's the matter ?" "Well, I read Injun stories and ru away to become an Injun-slayer. Da brought me back and whaled me half death. I read pirate stories and shippe on s schooner for Buffalo and almot died of sea-sickness. I read huntin stories, but there's nothing to hur around here except cats. I've tried be trapper, but the only game eve caught was the milkman, and he's lay ing for me yet. kinder wanted to b 8 train-robber, but the trains wouldn stop to be robbed, and when read ( boy heroes and looked around to say rich girls in runaway coupe or old me from the river, there never was an chance. I'm going to change and req something else"
 'sWell, what shall it be ?''
 ''I want something about boy wh began low down and worked up B mustn't rush into any burning house. save any stores from being robbed, di . cover any plots to blow up steamboa ' or save any old woman from mad dog He must be just like the rest of us-ha, 1, headaches, get licked, hate to get out bed, fight his brothers and steal sug' and take it to bed to eat"
 The dealer couldn't find such bool and the lad went out with the remar that nobody seemed to care to write an