Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-11
THE AGRICULTURAL EDITOR.

Every farmer reader Of the REPUBLIC
AN will surely appreciate the following
aud indulge in hearty laugh over it:
Dyke Fortescue rambled into the Office
of a rural newspaper published in the
| interest of a small class of rural readers,
and named the Farmers Friend and Gull
vator's Champion Dyke was fresh from
Denver where he had been doing local
work on a:daily. He wanted a situation
he wanted it badly, and he soon closed a
bargain with the proprietor of The Farm
er's Friend and Cultivator's Champion.
The proprietor intended to be absent for
two weeks and Dyke undertook to hold
the journals head steadily up stream until
his return.
"You will receive some visitors quite
likely" saio re proprietor. ENTERTAIN
EN-. Entertai Ia 'em in manner which
will reflect credit Oh The paper. They
will want to talk stock, farming, horticul-
ture, ETC., to you. Give it to 'em strong"
Dyke borrowed q half dollar, got a
clean shave, a glass Of beer, and soon
returned to face the music and edit the
first agricultural journal with which he
had ever been connected.
II can feel that, with my journalistic
experience, it will be just fun to run an
agricultural paper" said Dykes to him
self.
At two o'clock p, M, the first visitor
showed up at the door of the Office, and
Dyke cordially invited him inside. The
farmer entered hesitatingly and remarked
that he had expected to meet the proprie-
tor, with whom he had an appointment
to discuss ensilage.
'T am in charge of the journal said
Dyke.
go, you are. Well you seem to have
a pretty clean Office here"
Eyes, replied Dyke. "But about this
ensilage. Ensilage is pretty good breed,
isn't it?'
"Breedr' exclaimed the farmer, "why
81 mean it's a sure crop; something
that you can rely"
"Crop Why it isn't a crop at all"
eyes, yes, | know it isn't a crop" said
Dyke prespiring until his collar began to
melt way down the back of his neck,
"But you can do better and cleaner work
with good sharp ensiIage on stubby
ground than"
Take it for a sulky plow do your"
mo, no." said Dyke. ''You don't
seem to understand me. Now if a farmer
builds an ensilage on low ground"
Builds an ensilage! You seem to
have got the thing mixed up with some
kind Of granary.'
"Pshaw, no." continued Dyke. II
.-z.-zL l. ,.,,,,o1F ~, VC,, coo ic
ensiIage properly mixed with one part OF
guano and three parts hypophosphate of
antimony, with the addition Of little
bran and tan bark Ind the whole favored
with chloride of lime, makes top dressing
for strawberry beds which"
"Why, ensilage isn't no manure"
"No, certainly not" said Dyke. "I
know it is not often used in that way.
You don't catch my drift. When say
top dressing meant turkey dressing
stufing you know,-fOr Thanksgiving.
"Great Heavens, man! Ensilage isn't
a human food!''
''No, not human food exactly" said
poor Dyke, grinning like an aims house
idiot. at isn't food at all, in the true
sense of the word. My plan has always
been to lasso the hog with trace chain,
and after pinning his ears back with a
clothes pin, put the ensilage into his |
nose with pair OF tweezers."
'My good landsl You don't use ensi-
lage to ring hogs?'
81 never believed myself that it should |
be used for that purpose, but when you
want to ring hens, or young calves to
keen them from sucking"
The farmer gravely shook his head.
"Did you ever try ensilage on the |
hired girl" said Dyke desperately, and |
winking like bat at 80 a. m.
The farmer slowly arose and with some
evidence of rheumatic twinges in his
legs.
F'Young man" he said solemnly. ''you
are long way from home, amt you?'
eyes," replied Dyke, dropping his
eyes beneath the stern glance of the
farmer. '-In my ancestral halls in Eng
land, sad-eyed retainers wearily watch and
wait for my return"
"Go home young man, go home to
your feudal castle, and while on your way
across the rolling deep, muse on the fact
that ensilage is simply canned food for
live stock-put up expressly for family
use in a silo, which is nothing less than
an alright pit where corn-stalks, grass.
millet, clover, alfafa and other green
truck is preserved for winter use, as
green and verdant as the sub-editor of
the Farmers Friend and Cultivators'
Champion
And Dyke Forte8cue sighed as he re-
marked to himself; "There aint so
blamed much fun in running an agri-
cultural paper as I thought. ."-TeraS
,Sittings.
A SAILORS IDEA OF DEATH.-NO no,