Evening star., 1883-10-24
From the Whitehall Review.

from the Wmtehall Review.
The English marriage market has become an
arena OF competition as keen as any auction
room. The natural impulses Of women are dis
regarded. Mothers advise prudent alliances.
and discountenance, by fair means and foul,
love matches. Girls choke down their feelings
and aid and abet their seniors in encouraging
men VINO are catches" throwing of the re-
straints which made their graudmothe rs charm.
ing; but still the cry goes up men do not
marry" And yet the most inveterate club.
man, the mocker at love i'm cottage. was once
youth not blase, TO whom the vision Of @ home
was enchanting. Almost every man tries his
hand at realizing some such dream early I'm life
but the attempt is usually Bipped In the bud by
want OF means or by failure to win the particu-
lar woman on whom his heart is set. He suffers
acutely, but man is an elastic creature In time
he mingles again with the world, not entirely
proof against feminine fascination, but finding
1t almost impossible to set up an ideal. Matrons
with attractive daughters cannot complain that
their girls see few men. The tendency Of the
age Is TO level the barriers between the sexes:
girls play tennis, they row, they rink, they
skate, they sit In the smoking room, they dance
not only in the evenings but in the afternoons.
The natural tendency or such intimate assO-
cation would be matrimony. But the fact is
that men who might have had serious inten-
tions are frightened of before liking begets love-
There is an all prevailing fuss perpading the in
tercourse OF young people which is altogether
detrimental. The instant q pair begin to show
any particular liking for each Others society
the wide world around them is instantly on the
qua rfUe. The mother watches. fusses reports to
her crOnies and too often catechzes the girl
wounding her sense of delicacy and making her
conscious and constrained, or leading her to
imagine herself beloved. when the mans feel
Ing is only that of pleasure i'm the society OF q
young woman who does her best to make her
SELF agreeable. Men are usually ignorant how
rYiHi vnnfn md a,
ceive. and that they impart the details of such
homage to sympathetic Qf envious) feminine
ears thus giving body to vague nothings and
brOOding over trifes till they gather shape
Meanwhile the man, having said the pretty
things his idea Of pOliteness has prompted, goes
away forgetting them and their recipient, while
she Ia expecting declaration as the result Of o
few SOFT nothings. squeeze OF the hand or
tender giances. Women are not aware, on tho
other hard, how sincerely he may like and ad-
mre girl without thou ght beyond mere good
will. And 1t is precisely the better kind of man
who falls into the misfortune of raising false
hopes-the man who belives In the simplicity
and candor OF women desires their sgmpathy
and values their regard.
man of the world has the instinct OF self
preservation developed strongly enough for his
protection. The sense Of safety is the real bond
of many Of the alliances now so fashionable
sometimes salutary, often mischievous-be-
tween men and married women. Kept within
bounds no suspicion attaches to them no hopes
are built upon them. The lady receives the
petit SONS due to the female nature. which the
husband Of long standing often neglects; the
man receives the sympathy grateful to the
masculine creature. Men feel this without
analyzing their sentiments. and Ii is q common
complaint among them nowadays that it is i'm
possible to become well acquainted with a girl
without exciting the too lively anxiety Of her
friends. And no wise man proposes without
knowing the character OF the girl he wishes to
marry. The mothers who are eager for their
daughters establishment are wise although this
precipitation is not only foolish but indecOrOus.