davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
HUMOR.

eyes, said the landlord, pointing to
his block of new houses, they're all
full, except the one at the end. That's
last, but not leased"
"To ADD one mile an hour to The speed
of an ocean steamship, you must almost
double your consumption of coal, says
an old Cunard commander.
a WESTERN corporteur was once con.
versing with an Illinois man on his re-
igious duties. Said he: "Do YOU at
tend church regularity" "Oh, no, 1
never go to church, but alters make it
a pint to tend all the funerals. They
be just as solemn, and thar hisn't no
Reflections.
A HOUSEHOLD journal says "soapsuds
is not the best wash for slverware. !"
This is Important if true; but what the
society young man wants to know is
how to polish up dollar store diamond
pin so that it will look like gem of
the first water.-NorristoeU71 Herald.
"WELL," remarked a young NJ. D.,
just from college, II suppose the next
thing will be to hunt for good loca-
tion and wait for something to do, like
Patience on monument" "Yes, I"
said a bystander, "and it won't be long
after you do begin before the monu-
ment will be on the patients"
A LITTLE Austin boy visited his uncle
on his birthday, and congratulated him.
He then asked his uncle iif he had
washed himself. "Why so?" asked the
uncle, patting the innocent prattler on
the head. Because papa said if you
did the clean thing you would give me
at least dollar.-Teras Sifttngs.
One of our exchanges heads an item
"a Bad Runaway" Has any one ever
seen good runaway ?-Er. Well,
when the rich old folks object, and the
young man runs away with their daugh-
ter, and the knot is tied before they are
overtaken, it is considered a good run
away-by the young couple, at least
NoYTistoaU71 Herald.
HAVE you anything extraordinary on
your person by which you could be
identiied?" asked an Austin doctor,
who was examining Bill Colbert for a
Efe-insurance policy. Colbert thought
for a good while before he answered.
AG 1dSG ue I0D1ISu UlIab lie HUI Gne re-
quired peculiarly. what mark is it ?"
Fearful cramps when I eat green
corn"
ALL the passengers in the street car
On Austin avenue were very much an
noyed by crying child, and one old
gentleman appeared to be particularly
exasperated. II do wonder what little
wootsy tootsy is crying about, said the
mother, dancing the infant up and
down. Il know what he is crying
about. He has been crying about six
blocks; ever since you got into the
car. ."-Teras SittjfgS.
TO A CIGARETTE.
Burn, burn, burn,
And tell of thy charm to me;
For cannot utter Alright
The affection feel for thee.
o mourn for the college student,
Who never has felt thy sway;
hail to the cigarette,
That banisheS care away.
Let them tell of the baneful poison,
That turks in the d.inty fold;
But o for a package of good Sweet Cap"
And a touch OF the spell that is old
Burn, burn, burn,
In clouds of eddying rings,
And carry to heaven as incense
The words thy poet sings.
amherst Student
Daily globe., 1883-08-07

one OF their m1Ihons il they could sleep
as well nights as Pat who takes care of
their horses, or the poor man who works
in their gardens. Every million dol
lars man accumulates after he has a
competency, is a weight of lead upon
his brain. He does not enjoy the money.
and nobody else can. What does it
profit man to gain bushel of money,
and lay awake nights and see spooks,
and roll and tumble on soft bed until
every nerve is on strike? A million
aire who can take fsh-pole and go off
to pond and catch bull-heads, and
forget that he is worth a hundred dol
lars, has got an easy time, but few of
them can do it. The spectacle of man
who has got Sc, 1000, 600 dollars, blowing
his brains out, ought to make thousands
who are rich and who are rustling for
more, stop and think, and then quit
business and go fishing. g.-Peck,s Su1a.
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
The Age of American Novels.

There have been sixty years of .mer-
ican novels-for it is about that. time
since Cooper dashed into prominence
with his "Spy" and his sea-stories, and
his character of Leatherstocking He
was our forlorn hope for some years
since Irving could not properly be called
novelist; but now our authors, Ike
misfortunes, "come not single spies, but
in battalions," and there is ruck Of
novels, good, bad and worse, which
originate here. Of these it is every
where admitted now that Hawthorne's 5
romances stand first, and three of these
the Scarlet Letter" " "Blithedale Ro-
nance" and marble Faun, are just is
sued by Houghton, making two vol
umes of the new Riverside" edition in
twelve volumes, six of which have
now appeared. These three books
the first of which made Hawthorne's
worldly fame, and the other two con
frmed it in different directions-may be
taken, then, as indicating quite fully
the authors peculiar genius by which
he became famous, and will be remem-
bered long after our realists of to-day
are forgotten. Tt was because Haw-
thorne idealized character, not be-
cause he set it forth in the hard photo
graph of reality, that he ranks among
great writer's, for he was singularly
wanting in realism. Hardly one Of his
existence in the world where he places
them-neither Hester Prynne. nor her
old deformity of husband, nor her
clerical lover, nor Zenobia, Holling5-
worth, Priscilla, Hilda, nor any Of these
characters, except, perhaps, Miles Gov
erdale himself, who is Hawthorne un-
der transformation. Yet, unreal as they
are, they mask and unmask the. most
real aspects of human experimentation
one and now another, and especially thc
shifting phases Of love and sorrow-the
two universals of human life, not tc
mention sin, which in Hawthorne's
scheme, as in the theologic system oi
New England, is a deeper universal
than either. Contrasted with these
ideal figures of passion, how superficial
appear the amusing embroideries Of
Mr.. Howells and Henry James
heavy and repulsive castings and cary
ings of Tourgueneff, Zola, and hun
dred able novelists, It is with philo
sophie realists like George Eliot, no
with mere writer's for entertainment like
Henry James, that Hawthorne must be
compared. And these last must cease
to write merely for entertainment and
for purely didactic uses, too, if the!
would escape the common lo5 Of III.
novelist-to be forgotten in twent,
years, OF at most fifty years. WhC
reads now the popular novels Of 1898
Who knows even their nameS3
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
now NiIkie Collins works.

"How do you work, Mr.. Collins, rap
idly?"
no, not very. Let me see. write
about nine or ten pages Of book q day
when 1 work regularly. 1t usually
takes me six months to turn out book
after I get fairly started upon it. I
work chiefly at night, and use very
largo-sized sheets of paper, on which [
write very slowly, and cut great deal.
Here, now, is the manuscript of my last
story, The Black Robe You see it is
scratched a1d worked over until it be-
cones scarcely decipherable. The
printer can read it, however, even if you
can't, at glance"
couldn't read it at glance, and I
am not sure that could read it at all.
And vet 1 have read letters written by
John W. Forney, and made out what
Horace Greeley was trying to write. 1t
was cut, interlined, the interlineations
inteclinedsagain, sentences written on
the side and hauled into place by line
around them, and erasures which looked
as though the writer, in trying to scratch
out something, tried also to push it out
through the paper on the other side.
There were blots everywhere.
Il IS a pretty good days work for
me - get through three Of these pages
in day"
Three Of his pages would make about
1,2u0 words OF, say, two-thirds of the
space of this column.
"When I come to the last I get the
~. ..... =;:C, : t:3s..Ca t5e .1agas fv Then
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
Just How They All Feel.

"Limping jim" is the pet name Of an
old character who has no roof to his
mouth-"LimPy" for short. Some
months ago LimpY was taken out of
the ditch-for al additional infirmity Of
Limpy's is tendency in the direction
Of drunkenness after being cleaned
and made presentabie was presented as
candidate at q revival meeting. "Now,
James," said Deacon Thompson to
Limpy, after several persons had re-
lated their experiences, "say a few
words, if you please. Tell the brethren
and sister how you feel"
"Mr. Thompson" said Jim, rising
promptly and placing one foot easily on
the bench before him, II feel-I feel
like haal; how you feel, Mr.. Thomp-
son ?"-Ne,C York Graphic.
Daily globe., 1883-08-07

minute, and IN winter two minutes, and
be strained and chopped on the back of
plate. If only little water is used
in boiling it, the water becomes brown,
and the parsley tough and Ill favored.
Why should vinegar for picking
with never be boiled? Because boiling
takes all the strength from it. What
ever vegetables are to bepickled should
first be made soft with boiling water
strong with salt and then be well
drained and the vinegar poured over.
Why should two ounces OF salt and
bit of washing soda always be put in the
water to boil greens in? Because the
salt crisps the greens and favors them,
and the soda extracts the oil, which is
greatly injurious to the digestion.
Germantown I'eleqrdph.
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
New Cure for Baking Horses.

It is thought that a new cure has
been discovered for baking and crib
bing horses by the application of cleo
tricity. A gentleman of Baltimore,
who has horse subject to baking,
placed an electric battery, with an in
duction coil, in his buggy, and ran the
wires to the horses bit and crupper,
and as soon as the horse came to q
standstill the current was turned on,
and, after the horse was relieved of his
shock, it is said, he proceeded without
showing any disposition to balk The
same application was successfully
made to horse who indulged in crib
bing, whereof he was soon cured
through the unpleasantness of the
electric shock. Those who have balk-
ing or cribbing horses may give the
foregoing trial.
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
Ignorance of Mexicans as to Common
Matters.

There are some peculiar qualities of
the Mexican mind which will, for a
while, stand in the way of quick prog
ress. Thus, very few of them will buy
their railroad tickets until the train is
in full view of the station; and, until
short time ago, preferred paying their
cash to the conductor. They have an
incomprehensible itching to defer any
enterprise, or even trivial work, until
the morrow. When these defects of
their disposition and training are un-
derstood, and patience and manage
ment are exercised, fair service can
be got out of them. AS exemplifying
how little Mexicans know of the rights
of common carriers, the other day,
when Gen. Diaz stopped here, the
company, as courtesy, rendered the
municipality the use of their cars for the
Generals party. Thereupon the city
authorities undertook to let everybody
have free ride, and, until the matter
was legally explained to them, threat
ened trouble to the railway people.
These mistakes of the Mexicans, in
their dealing with our people, spring
not so much from desire to annoy as
from ignorance e.-Monterey Cor. Neeo
York Sun.
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
Seeing the Superintendent.

In the Office of certain Western
railroad Superintendent it was under
stood that when a conmon-looking
stranger entered the outer Office and
asked for the Great EIogul, one Of tie
several young men therein employed
should claim to be the official wanted,
and thus turn the bore away. One day
a web-footed stranger with business
squint to his eyes, asked to see the Su-
perinteudent, and the chief clerk
promptly replied:
eyes, sir; what can [ do for you?"
Are you the man?"
"I am"
mo mistaken"
''None at ALL"
''Then it's all right. Six months ago
one of your trains killed a COW for me,
and you have been just mean enough
not to answer any of my letters. Old
boss, I'm going to lick $50 out of you'll
But, sir, you see"
81 see nothing but you! Prepare to
be licked!"
And the proxy-Superintendent was
not only mopped around the room and
flung into the wood-box as limp as a
clothes-line, but the cow-owner kicked
the others outdoors and upset the
desks and tables with the remark:
''The next time do business with
this corporation, [ want you to not only
reply to my letters, but to put in
haste on your envelopes!" !"-Wall Street
EelCs.
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
A Clever Bit of Satire.

The following characteristic satirical
verses can be found unsigned in
Frazer's Magazine. No. "a, Vol. ",
January, 1882. Thackery was fre-
quent contributor to FTdsers at that
time, and this bit of biting satire is no
doubt from his pen, although it has
never been acknowledged or identified
by any of the collectors of his works:
E. A. AND f. B.
CHRISTMAS CAROL, TO TIE TUNE OF GOD SAVE
YOU, MERRY GENTLEMEN"
In1pjus ante ATGnl, atQle Gu'i cGcus dmoTe
Z. Aram was e pedaCogue
So sullen and so sad:
e. Bulwer was a gentleman
Wot piled as ColburDs Cad:
And the deeds OF BOTH I grieve to say,
We've very, waZry Tad.
E. Aram he whipped l;t5le boys
With malice and with ire;
z. Bulwer wrote Whig articles
AS BeelZebub did inspire:
And both of them they did these thin.s
All for the sake of hire.
E. Aran killed man one day,
Out of q devilish whim;
z. BulWer did almost the same
A deed well-nigh as grim:
For Ara1n he murdered Daniel Clarke,
And Bulwer murderd him.
E. Aram's crime it was impeIled
That cash he might purlOinI
q. Bulwer did his WickednesS
For love of Colburns coin:
Alas that money should debauch
Two geniuses so fine!
E. Aram he was sent to jail,
And hanged upon tree;
e. Bulwer is in Parliament,
shabby -genteel NJ. p.
But II he writes such numbering books,
What must his ending be?
Why, thatin BrGSe7''S Magazine
His gibbet we shall see.
Lila, s,e! 5 ArrGsiae.
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
Confirmation Of Assessment for Sewer
on Eleventh Street,
OFFICE OF THE BOARD OF PUBLIC WORKS,
CITY OF ST. PAUL. MINI, Aug. 2, 1893.

OFFICE OF THE BOARD OF PUBLIC Works. J
CITY OF st. PAGL. Mimi, Aug. 2, 1893.
The assessment of benefits, costs and ex
penses arising from the construction of sewer
on Eleventh llth) street, from Robert street to
Minnesota street, in the City of st. Paul, Mime
sofa, having been completed by the Board of
Public Works in and for eaid city, said Board
will meet at their Office in said city at p m
on the 17th day of August, A. D. 1888, to hear
objections Lif any) to said assessment, at which
time and place unless sufficient cause is shown
to the contrary, said assessment will be con-
frmed by said Board.
The following is a list of the supposed owrer's
names, description of the property benefited,
ard the amounts assessed against the same,
to-wit:
Roberts & Randall's Addition to s.. Paul,
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
Confirmation Of Assessment for GRADING
NGill Street.
OFFICE OF THE BOARD OF PUBLIC WORKS,
CITY OF ST PAUI. Minn 5ur 2 1889

The assessment of benefits, costs and expenses,
arising from the gradiEg of Neill street,
from Seventh (7th) street to Grove street, in the
city of st. Paul. Minnesota, having been COM
pIeted by the Board of Public Works in and fol
said city, said Beard will meet at their office, in
said city at z p. m. on the 18th day of August.
A. D. 1888, to hear objections (if any) to said
assessment, at which time and place, unless
sufficient cause is shown to the contrary said
assessment will be confirmed by said Board.
The following is list of the supposed owners
names, description of the property benefited,
to-wit: e
r-1y:44, ,ll;.;o, - O. pl
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
Confirmation Of Assessment for Sewer on
COLLEGE Avenue.
OFFICE OF THE BOARD OF PUBLIC WORKS,

OFFICE OF THE BOARD OF PUBLIC WORKS,
CITY OF ST. PAUL, Minn., Aug 2, 1883.
The assessment of beoefits, costs and expenses
arising from the construction of a sewer on
College avenue, from Third (3d) street to Rice
street, in the City of st. Paul, Minnesota,
having been comp eted by the Board of Public
Works i'll and for said city, said Board will
meet at their Office in said city at 2 p m.
on the 18th day of August, A. ID. 1883, to hear
objections (if any, to said assessment, at which
time and place, unless sufficient cause is shown
to the contrary, said assessment will be con-
frmed by said Board.
The following is list of the supposed owners
names, description of the property benefited,
and the amounts assessed against the same to-
wit:
Supposed owner and description. Benefits
Geo Benz. Commencing at NE corner of
Third street and College avenue; thence
My on Third street to Mulberry street;
thence Ely on Mulberry street l67 feet;
thence SLY 10 point on N line of Col
lege avenue 140 feet E of E line of
Third street; thence WHY to beginning,
being in St. Paul, Minnesota $157 so
c H Bigelow. Commencing on My lire
of College avenue 40 feet Ely from
Third street; thence My to Mulberry
street at point 167 feet Ely from
Third street; thence Ely alorg Mulber-
1y street 1T feet; thence SLY to Cot
lege avenue at point 24l feet Ely of
NE corner of Third street aud College
avenue; thence Willy l0l feet to begin
Irvine's Enlargement to Rice aud Irvine's Addi-
ton to st. Paul,
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
Confirmation Of Assessment for Grading
Martin Street.
OFFICE OF TIE BOARD OF PUBLIC WORKS,
CIIx OF Sr. PAUL, Mimi, Aug. 2, 1883.

The assessment of benefits, costs and expenses
arising from the grading of Martin street,
from kice street to Dale street, in the city of st.
Paul, Minnesota, having bee completed by the
Board of Public Works in and for said city, said
Board will meet at their Office in said city, at 2
p, m. on the 18th day of August, A. D. 1883, to
hear objections (if any, to said assessment, at
which time and place unless sufficient cause is
shown TO the contrary, said assessment will be
confirmed by said Board
The following is list of the supposed owners
names, description of the property benefited,
and the amounts assessed against the same,
to-wit:
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
The Value of Farm Life.

Stick to the farm, boys, if you want
to make money, live happy and die at
a respectable old age. But if you care
not for happiness, and are willing to
struggle through short and unsatis-
factory life, go to the towns and live
from hand to mouth, never accumulat-
ing and never enjoying moment free
from care and vexation. The desire to
shirk the labors of the farm is the bane
of American life, and has filed all
other branches of industry full to over
fowing.-Clay County (IRd.) E1lter-
prise.
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
A. G. Fuller's Addition to St. Paul.
Supposed owner and
doecriDtiOv,

description. benefits
Monks & Chic. Miscellaneous piece of
land described as follows: Commenc
ing at s. E. corner of lot 19, block 5,
A u Fuller's addition to st. Paul;
thence E. Is ft; thence s. to Martin
street; thence W along Martin street
209.22 feet; thenceN.to an intersection
with the s. line of said lot 19, if
produced WHY; thence Ely to begin
ming, being in St. Paul, Minnesota. $12O GC
Same and same. Miscellaneous piece of
hand described as follows, to-wit:
Commencing at N. E. corner of block
"A Fuller's addition to st. Paul;
thence E, to the N. W. corner of
block 2, said addition; thence S. to
theS. w. corner of block 5, said addi
tion; thence W. to the s. e. corner of
said block 4; thence N. to beginning
being in St. Paul, Minnesota ...... S157 81
Dewey, Drake & Pence's Addition to st. Paul
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
Go Fishing.

Amasa Stone, the Cleveland million
aire who committed suicide, did so be
cause he could not sleep. How many
millionaires are there who would give
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
Supposed owner and

All objections to said assessment must be
made in writing and fled with the Clerk of said
Board at least one day prior to said meeting.
JOHN F. HOYT, President pro tenn.
Official: r. l. GoRMAN,
Clerk Board of Public Works. 2l8-22O
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
Kittson's Addition to st. Peul.

All objections TO said assessment must be
made in writing and filed with the Clerk of said
Board at least one day prior to said meeting
JOHN F. HOYT, President pro tenn.
Official: h. L.. GoRMAN,
Clerk Board of Public Works. 2Ie-t p
Daily globe., 1883-08-07

All objections tt saj1 assessment must be
made in writing and filed with the Clerk of said
Board at least day prior to said meeting.
JOHN f. HOYP, President pro tern.
Official: Il. l.. GoRMAS,
Clark Beard of Public Works. 2l6-220
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
Wars Between England and France.

The following calculation was made
in 1915, and shows the dates and the
duration of the wars between England
and France. Within period of 700
years there were 266 years of desolat-
mo war
Daily globe., 1883-08-07

Mr.. Lincoln used to tell story about
big Hoosier who came to Washington,
during the war, and called upon a
street Arab for shine. Looking at
the tremendous boots before him, he
called out to brother sinner across the
street: "Come over and help, Jimmy,
I've got an army contract -
Daily globe., 1883-08-07

al objections to said assessment must be
made in writing and fled with the Clerk of said
Board at least one day prior to said meeting.
JOHN +. HOYT, President pro tenn.
Official: r. l.. GoRMAN,
Clerk Board of Public Works. 2l8-220
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
Roberts & Randall's Addition to s.. Paul,
Supposed owner and

All obje"tious TO said assessment must he
made In writing AID flei with the Clerk OF said
Hoard at least Que dav prior TO said meeting.
JOHN F. HOYT, President pro tsln.
Official: r. L. GoRMAN,
Clerk Board os Public Works. 1920
Daily globe., 1883-08-07

-. .9:,ote-t pleasures @;
= e r~rl = .s'n.d i'll the lavsterie3
.: i l. fs,m the skepticism Of
~ ivFs. sod @oi'.ls up i1to s.ual! nv.
5.s,.,. .,os u 4as o~p.
Daily globe., 1883-08-07

Supposed owner and description. Benefits
Sophia Weber, that part of lot 10, block
go, 1rvine's enlargement to Rice and
Irvine's addition to st. Paul, My of
the middle line of lot 3, said block,
produced WHY to College avenue. go. $52 so
Jacob Manner, that part of lot 10, block
60, Irvine's enlargement to Rice and
Irvine's addition to st. Paul, Sly of
of the middle line of lot 8, said block.
produced WHY to College avenue. 49,. 500 65
Irvine's Enlargement to Rice and Irvine's Addi-
Daily globe., 1883-08-07

Winston's Subdivision of VIZ OF SW14 of Lot
4, Leech's Out Lots to st. Paul.
Daily globe., 1883-08-07
Leech's Out Lots to st. Paul.
OFFICE OF THE BOARD OF PUBLIC Works,
CITY OF ST.. PAUL, Minn., Aug. 2, 1858.

Whtacre, Brisbine & Mullen's Subdivision of
Lots and 2, Leech's Out Lots to st. Paul
Daily globe., 1883-08-07

Irvine's Enlargement to Rice aud Irvine's Addi
ton to St. Paul,
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1883-04-18
JOB WAGON

In connection with my stage line have =
dob Wages yesdy at all times to do work in
that NJ. sol sd0a ~
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1883-04-18
FIRST CLASS STOCK. Low PRICES

Orders by Telegraph OF Telephone Promptly
Attended to.
The Dickinson press., 1883-09-15
Saturday, September Is. 1888.
JOB PRINTING OF ALL KINDS.

Having recently put in a first class
Job printing outfit, with new Peerless
Job press and new and latest styles of
type, together with a complete as
sortment of stationery, embracing
bill heads, letter heads. note heads.
statements, envelopes. cards, fine
stock of wedding and invitation
goods, visiting cards and in fact
every thing to be found in a first
class job printing office. We are pre-
pared to execute all kinds Of work in
the highest style of the art and at the
lowest living prices. When you need
any thing in that line give lis a call.
The Dickinson press., 1883-09-15
NOTICE OF FINAL PROOF.

LAM OFFICE AT BISMARCK. D. T. Aug. %, 1889.
Notice is hereby given that the following named
settler has filed notice Of his intention to make
final proof in support of his claim, and secure
ter and Receiver Oct, 16, 1888 at II O'Clock A. NJ.
viz: LOUIS j. RIiEA, Homestead Application
No. 1924 for the S. E. / Seed Town. 40, Range
Sc, and names the following us his witnesses,
viz: Edward Dodd, William Fades, Rufus
Wright and Vim. Davis, all of Dickinson. D.. T.
Sept. Let. JonN A. REA, Register.