The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-08-17
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

The hOme-Stretch-the morning
yawn.-Boston Courier.
A notable event is q picnic where
one must sit on the ground to eat.-N.
q. Pcayune.
Mamma, what does NJ. d. mean
when it comes after the doctors name?
Does it mean money down?"-Hauper's
BaZar.
MA, which milkman gives the most
cream. the one that has the best cows?"
Hardly, my child! 1t is the one who
has the best conscience. y YoRkers Ga
zctte.
"A London oculist says that culture
diminishes the size of the eyes. Now,
Just listen to that. Everybody knows
that small is are sign of the entire
absence of culture. Chicago Tribune.
Several cases of burglary have re-
Gently occurred at seaside resorts, and
the sojourners forthe summer now have
the satisfaction of looking out for break
ers by night as well as day.-Boston
Courier.
A New York darkey who furnished
blood for TRANSMISSION and so saved the
life of one Okenberg, who was at
deaths door, now sues for $3.50 dam
ages. A nice little bill to pay for being
e-pulsed.-Pittsburyh Telegraph.
.-Longfellow said: '.In this world a
man must be either anvil or hammer. !"
Longfellow was wrong. however. Lots
of men are neither the active hammer
nor the sturdy anvil. They are nothing
but bellows.-Philadelphid News.
A Peruvian living in Milan has made
a clock entirely out of bread. In this
country many persons are trying to
make bread out of paper, but they have
only been partially successful. They
complain that subscribers won't pay up.
-Norristoiun Herald.
-.'Who held the pass of Thermopy-
le against the Persian host?" demanded
the teacher. And the editors boy at
the foot of the class spoke up and said:
Father, reckon; he holds an annual
on every road in the country that runs
passenger train. San francisco
Argonaa.
When the minister is pretty severe
upon human shortcomings in the pull
pit, every man leans back in his pew,
smiles, and says to himself. sNow he's
givingSit to EN-" Satisfying thought,
isn't it, that the minister always has
reference to somebody else9-Chicago
Inter Ocean.
The inhabitants of Rugby, Tenn,
seem to have acquired the American
power of invention. One of them saws
that he was out in thunderstorm,
wheeling brush on wheelbarrOw.
when there suddenly descended ball
of fire. When his dazlled eyes could
see there was nothing left of the wheel
barrow or its load but twisted tire
Chicago Herald.
Speak gently; especially to the big
man with round head and square
neck and two big fists like ancient
stone hammers. Speak gently TO him.
You may touch some long hidden chord
of sympathy in his hardened breast
that may cause him to pass You by IN
crushed. But the little white-faced
man on crutches-oh, you may sass
Burlington HaWk-Eye.
"A fashion item says that swallows
now decorate many articles of feminine
attire. They appear painted or en-
broidered on dresses, enamelled on
buttons and jewelry, and the real
article is seen on bonnets." Hereto
fore swallows" have principally decor
ated the masculine nose, and in some
cases have garnished the windows Of
homes with old hats. The new uses to
which they are devoted is a gratifying
change. -NorriSsoWn Herald.