The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-06-08
WITTICISMS

lie ala not Know much about ballet
girls.
What Is the difference between a dull
razor and a bad boyY None; both need
strapping.
The verdict in this city is that Mrs.
Langtry is u very beautiful woman
with her back turned.
Tue Hlndoos believe that 1t was
Adam who led Eve astray. That is
truly a heathenish idea.
Hens may be a little backward on
eggs, but they never fail to come to the
scratch where the flower beds are on
cerned.
A soldier expects TO face the music
when he goes into battle; but when he
gets there. he fluids the music has gone
to the rear.
Inquirer: What objection is there to
going fishing on Sunday? What? Why
the objection that you're likely to find
all the good places occupied.
\ fence rail was blown thro' the
body of a mule by the Mississippi cy-
clone. So that ever a cyclone has TO
approach "A mule sideways to get the
better of him.
Drunk again. sharply exclaimed the
wife, who had been waiting up nearly
five hours for the absent husband.
Eyes, love-" was the reply; al have my
usual spirits"
Dr.. Corsby says "those who are en-
gagged in amassing colossal fortunes be-
long to the dangerous classes" We do
not care to be referred to in that point
ed way, and the doctor had better stop
it.
"My son." said an American father,
"hOw could you marry an Irish grip
"Why, father, | am not able to keeptwo
women. Ii | marry a Yankee girl. I'd
have to hire an Irish girl to take care
of her"
Alta prominent theatre a young ac-
tress was recalled. She had been play
ing the title role of Satan's Daughter"
and when she r%eappeared a stentorian
voice asked: "Is the old man here to.
night?
1t is said that two hundred years ago
the Indians INDUCED in Turkish baths.
Yes, it must have been all of two hun
dred years ago. To judge by the one
we saw last. it might have been a thou
sand years ago.
Mamma" said a little Gorham boy,
"Igave Carrie a pretty good hint to go
home to-day" What did you do, my
sonT" said his mother. "Oh, l filled
her mouth up with mustard and called
1t apple sauce, and she took the hint"
81 served in the Tennessee legisla-
ture," said a man to a new train &C.
quaintance. 81 served in the Arkansas
legislature" said the acquaintance; and
each man arose and arranged a pocket
flask to keep the neck from being ex
posed.
When a certain bachelor was married
in Philadelphia, members of the Bach
elor club broke him up by sending him
wedding present a copy; of Paradise
Lost" Six months later he got a di.
vorce and presented the club with q
copy of paradise Regained.'
We learn from the Philadelphia News
that it takes four ladies of the bed.
chamber, every one a peeresS, eight
common ladies of the bedchamber and
twelve bedchamber women to put
Queen Victoria to bed This implies
a terrible state of affairs in the royal
palace.
The war department recently adyer.
tised for proposals to furnish the army
with 5000 scrubbing brushes. An army
armed with s%crubbing brushes would
certainly send "A thrill Of trrror through
the enemy. Our army, it is suspected
contemplate, "scourlngthe plains" anc
having a brush with the Indians.
"When do you expect to get soberP'
asked "a wife of her husband. well
you see." he replied, blamed if l know
l used to be pretty good in mathematic.
and could calculate an eclipse, but thi
whiskey business floors me. If l liv,
long enough l may be sober somewher,
-
in the neighbornoCd Of the close Of tn,
next century.
Brother Gardeners philosophy: "Wha
we don't know we often try to make u
for in argument. What we lack in argy
ment We try to make up in blab. 1t an
easier to call IA man a fool dan to pro
duce facts aud figures to convince hin
dat he am in the wrong. 1t am safer t.
call an old man a liar than to wink at
young mans wife,"
A patent medicine manufacturer die,
in New York last week. Before h
died his friends asked him how b
would like to be buried. He had Jus
strength tosay, Insert Ine top colum
next to reading matter 6fty-two time.
electro by mail" and then he closed hi
eyes and passed away to that bourn
where there are no omiaaions NOR 1pror