Middletown transcript., 1883-12-21


S,pose YOU whistle down your brakes;
What you've done is no great shakes.
- Bret Hdrte.
The Racine Journal has an editorial
headed "The Poet Burns" We knew
the poem often did, but had no idea
that the poet did.-Peck's Sun.
"A man may have to walk mile TO
take the cars in the United States, and
yet only have to 60 to his neighbor's
hen roost to take a Cochin China
Marathon Independent.
"Nothing succeeds like success" and
nothing draws like free show.-Ntd-
dlet0aon Transcript. We judge brother
Way has never monkeyed with q mus
tard plaster. Marathon Independent.
"a New York g society," young lady,
who heard Matthew Arnold's first lee
ture, says she doesn't think much ofhis
abilitiesas an orator, but she can recon-
his writing fluid HeUated Rdihcdy
Journal.
A mans brain weighs three and half
pounds. A woman's is somewhat
lighter, but of finer quality. That is
What enables her to taste lard in her
neighbor's pastry.-Rocbldnd Courier
Gazette.
The drinking Of hot water is recon-
mended as health invigorator. 1t is
Almost exhilarating tonic, if couple Of
Jumps Of white sugar, a small piece Of
lemon-peel, little nutmeg and Scotch
whiskey be added Chicago San.
1t is the fashion to use one perfume
only. Thus one girl always uses violet,
another roses, etc. BY this plan a
young mans mother soon learns to dis
tinguish at a smell which young lady
her boy spent the evening with. .-Ph5ld.
degphia Call.
"Cheek'' is being played in a New
York theatre, and a representative
from the hayseed district who was in
formed by the man in the boX-offict
that frst-class seat would cost hin
$500, concluded that the exhibition a
the ticket-office was about as salts
flying as anything he could see inside
-Yonkers Statesman.
a magazine writer says that = womeI
with a purpose, women in earnest
have a noticeable lack Of charm.
That depends. If a young woman hai
a "purpose" to say Eyes when he
young man proposes and isin Z earnest
about it, she has more charm, in hi
eyes, than at any other period in he
life.-NorriSto1C Herald
The latest deliverance on etiquette
that you must not kiss the bride. a
it is becoming the custom to have fou
or five bridesmaids, and there are n
restrictions on kissing them, the mat
ter will not cause much commotion
There is no objection to the lady guest
kissing the groom, however, provide
the bride does not know Of ito
City Derrick.
The rippling laughter Of girl, th
blushing pleasure Of a new-made bride
the rapture Of mother as she nestle
her baby to her bosom and the smile {
pride which mantles on the face Of
father as he hears Of his boy success d
school, is as nothing to the heaven-bor
CLEAN Of joy which shoots athwart th
face Of Central-st soaker as he finds
forgotten dime in the pistol pocket {
his Sudday pants.-Fall RiUer Advanc
The maddest man up to date lives j
the north part Of the town. He wa
pulling on his boot, the other morning
and struck what he supposed was
nasty, Shiny snake coiled up on the sole
He jumped two yards and kicked I'll
boot through IS mirror and a vase va
ued at SIG, and when his wife's switc
came floating innocently out Of th
leather, it would have demoralized
horse jockey to hear him talk. Veril
the righteous man stands upon slipper
placeS-Buftangt FTee PFeSS.
There died a few days ago in Englan,
woman named Sutton, native
ireland, who was a master of Gree
Latin, French, Italian, Hebrew, Ar
bic and Chaldaic. Just think how
woman with all these languages at h
command would address the congreg
ton On wash-day when the kitcht
chimney wouldn't Middleton
Transcript. She was Suttonly !
markable woman, and we are glad th
she was some other fellows wife.
never yet met woman who couldn
in one language, do all the talking !
hungered for.-FaU RiUer AdUdncc.