National Republican., 1883-09-03
THE MAN ON THE AVENUE.
Small Talk About Mon and Measures.

Snakes grow very largo in Mississippi"
says Maj. McMichael. "A tenderfoot from
the rattlosnalSo district of western Pennsylva-
MIA came down into our section two or three
years ago with string of very robust snake
stories, Some Of which made our local liars
feel ashamed Of themselves. Ono day told
him had killed the oldest and biggest rattler
ever seen in America. He didn't believe me.
invited him to my honse, and going into
back room returned with my evidence,
which consisted Of seventy-six rattles strung
on string in n neat and artistic manner
graduated from great to small. "There, said
/, handing him the string, took that from
my snake. 1t was nineteen feet long, as big
around as n fat mans leg and had seventy
six rattles. The tenderfoot went away dumb
founded, and never told another snake story
during his stay with us. He was heard to
heave a sigh occasionally and mournfully
mutter, I wouldn't have believed it If
hadn't seen the rattles with my own eyes
He will 20 down to his grave believing that
snakes grow in Mississippi with seventy-six
rattles attached. If / run across him on the
other side | will tell him that it took about
sixty snakes to supply material for that beau
tiful collection showed him."
a@a
The New York politician unbosomed him
self on the subject of democratic political in
trigues as follows:
"Danas relations with Tilden justify the
belief that the SIMS Holman boom was started
for the sole and only purpose of weakening
Mcdonald by getting up fight among Indi-
l. 4,
them to unite upon candidate for the
presidency from their own state. McDonald's
friends have held all along that Tilden was
for their pet, but the persistent efforts of
Dana's paper, which is Tilden's recognized
mouthpiece to stampede McDonald's following
has set them to thinking that perhaps they
might have made mistake in their diagnosis
of the old mans feelings and purposes. Dana
cannot bo so ignorant Of the sentiment Of his
party rs to believe for a moment that Hol-
! man has an earthly show of nomination,
much less election, and he is foolish to sup
poso that the objector could get the Indiana
delegation away from Mcdonald. The work.
ers of the party in his own state are for Nc
Donald almost to man, and the voters Of
the party, too. Holman has very little local
and was shamefully beaten for the nomination
by an ignorant boor, whose candidacy was bur-
lesque. My own opinion is that Tilden is di-
recting his literary bureau to proving ION
paper) that he will be tho only man upon
whom the factions can unite. He will, in
the meantime, devote his personal attention
to John Kelly, and stroke his Irish majesty Is
fur the right way with diplomatic grace"
e~s
About q week ago an itenerant minister
with moro zeal than learning preached to a
congregation composed principally of oyster
dredgers on the eastern shore of Maryland.
During his harangue he used the expression
"If your right arm offend thee, pluck it out;
if your eye offend thee, cut it Off" An old
oysterman who occupied front seat, on
hearing the above expression, remarked in a
stage whisper that was heard all over the
church: "Do you think we've got eyes like a
crab"
The Germans are the stffest kickers in the
world and talk louder and stronger against
the importation of "adulterated products .
diseased meats" and ar tcles that como in
competition with their own wares, than any
other people; but they are not free from sus.
picion of doing q little Of the very thing they
complain of in Others A member of the
diplomatic SERVICE in a recent letter on the
subject of German and Austrian adultera-
tion of American products, says:
"They take one gallon of our kero sene oil
and mako gallon and half out of it. The
science of dilution is carried into everything
that is liquid, and authorizations into every
thing that is solid. Their wines liquors, and
beers, their medicines, and even their min.
eral waters. are full of all kinds of concoc.
tions and foreign ingredients that are dan
| gerous to life and health. Their sausages and
hashed meats are of melange of doubtful in.
gradients. Their wooden goods are adulter.
ated with wool made from rags. The rags
are reconverted into wool and OK.
ported to tho United States in the
shape of cloth. Cloth made from
such wool retains through all it;
transformations and rough handling germs Of
disease and disscminates them broadcast. II
a German dies Of smallpox, his clothes arc
sold for old rags. Our flour when found il
these countries becomes foreign to such an
extent as to be beyond recognition"
Verify the gentlemen who want to enact
laws next winter to retaliate upon Germany
for its legislation against American pork will
not be at loss for arguments in justification
| of their course
l