The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1883-07-11
LOCAL MATTERs.
Walks andTalks Around Town
DR. MlKAMAY AND HIs pATIENT.

cd BY the arrival of two persons,
and in the cleaning twilight we
recognized one to be DR.. McKamay.
His companion seemed to be labor.
ing under the effects Of many and
frequent potations, and was en-.
deayoring to perform some difficult
acrobatic feat, when all at once the
green sward flew up and hit him
in the face, which felled him to the
ground. The Doctor stretched him
out and endeayored to make him
quite comfortable, and began ap.
plying the usual Testoratives in,
rFach cases maderand provided
We could hear the Doctor in low
tones, acquired by long usage in
The sick room, and peculiar to men
Of his profession, soothe the sick
man. He told him that his liver
was cut of order, that he had been
taking TOO much exercise at CALI.
polls, in fact he was all torn up
The Doctor said that he hud some.
thing at his down town Office that
would rejuvcnate him. The sick
man sent him after it, and in the
meantime we left him as he NUT
tered to himself drunk, oh l am
id drunk. Never will l spend
another Fourth at Gallipolis."-
Meeting the Doctor next morning,
he informed US that he brought
his patient around all right, and
with a wink, remarked, chat the
hair of the dog is good for the bite"
LuAu ASLEEP.
The County Court in session at
Che Court House last week, was
startled by a loud reverbrating
sound, and Jack and Clark remark
cd 70 the President that q storm
Incorporating. The Sheriff was
directed to close the windows and
secure the storm door. Willis on his
rounds making everything secure,
he had occasion 10 look out one of
the west windows, when he discov-
cred Lijah aslecpin the yard. List
ening in.ently he soon learned
the cause Of the sounds which had
disturbed the serenity of the Court.
II was Lijah snoring! The Page
was sent down TO wake him up
Quiet was soon restored and the
Court proceeded with its arduous
labors.
HIS HONOR AND THE THERMOMETER
His Honor was sitting in front
Of his Office during one Of those
warm days Of last week, enjoying
the shudc, thinking Of the time
when his "boys" would finish cut.
ting his wheat, and wondering
what pasture field he would put
hiS fine, imported thoroughbred
bull in, that valued friend had
forwarded to him, when all at once
he found out that it was hot. TIe
went to his trusty old thermome.
ter, hanging in the door facing Of
his Office, and after carefully scan.
ming it, he turned around to some
loafers sitting hard by and remark
ed that the "darned old thing only
scored S0'." Seeing his law part.
ner, Bill Polsley, near, he said:
"Will, Ill be darned if some one
hasn't put ice on this thermom.
eter. If these boys don't quit play.
ing their pranks, I'll get Lijah af-
ter them.
THE Bow.LEGGED AFRICAN.
While walking through the elias.
sic precincts Of Bucktown a few
evenings ago, our attention was at.
tracted to a group Of negroes stand.
ing in the middle of the street
quarreling. Que had accused the
other of saying at the Fourth Of
July picnic, that his sweetheart
was bow.legged.
"I'll tell you Jake, that if you
eber soy dgin dat my Lucinda Ann
..... "Ow-iegBOarI 'ii 50 an tell Liza
about de time you stole Rap. Gil.
more's chickens and tuck 'em down
toGallipolis and sold 'em. know.
a few things, if l ANITA dandy
Niger"
81 nebber stole no chickens, you
black niggah," said Jake.
"Do you member de time you
went TO steal do clothes off a line
hanging in a certain white mans
yard, an de close line took you un.
der dc chin and fro'd you on your
back, and happened along dar
and picked you up and took you
out of danger"
"You lazy niger chicken thief,
for a cent Id hit you wild one Of
desc brick.bats."