The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-04-06
CHAPTER XIu.-CoNr1NuED.

He addressed the envelope, and after
placing the letter in it, was about TO
close it. He paused, and the paper
trembled little in his hands. Her fin
gers would open this. and he seemed
to be touching them for the last time.
She would hold this paper in her haniss
she would think angrily of his boldnes;
in sending it to her. and she would
never know the weary sickness she had
left in his life. The words, too, would
seem to her abrupt and Gallons. He
had not even said goodbye, or given
the slightest hint of what comfort il
would be to him if he could only know
by and by-a long time hence. no doubt
that she had learned to think of him
with little less disdain. But now she
would ~
He started, hastily closed the en-
velope and put stamp on it-for in his
present humor there was kind of re-
lief even in the petty act of sending a
letter by post instead of by messenger.
so that she might understand how
thoroughly he had accepted his dis
missal.
More folly" he exclaimed. bitter
i
must get out of this sentimental brood
ing somehow; what does she care how /
may be suffering2 how can she know it?
and why should she care if she did? Nv
father is nearer the mark than / think
he really believes-I am a hopeless
idiot"
Setting his teeth close, he began to
pack his portmanteau with vigorous
haste, thrusting things in anyhow and
anywhere. He checked his reckless
performance several times. and mental
ly seized himself by the shoulders say
ing:
"Now look here, nv man, this won't
do. You are to be perfectly quiet, per-
fectly cool, and you. are to do every
thing in a measured, sensible fashion.
That is the only way to recover your
balance
Thereupon he tumbled everything out
of the portmanteau again and endeav-
.ored to pack it with some attention to
neatness; but the result was not salts
factory.
That letter haunted him it contained
all that he had to say-all that he ought
to say; and yet there was so much that
his whole nature was craving to
express TO her-craving to make her
feel and understand! But it was nom
sense o. the most unmitigated and I'M
pardonable kind to think of it. Why
should he bother her? why attempt to
make her see his real position, when
every effort to do so would only supply
another proof OF his apparent bascness;
and his ea@erness to satisfy her. con-
vince her that it was her changed posi-
ton which drew forth his declaration?
She could not believe him: that was
enough. Every additional word in
self-defense at present could only de-
grade him the more in her thoughts. 1t
was best to site the mad craving with
in him. or, if it could not be stilied. to
endure it.
The letter should go as it had been
written. at is my last word to her.
hope she viii be sorry by and by when
she comes to understand the mistake
she has made. Probably she will never
know tit is so easy to forget those we
scorn; it is only those we love who
trouble u.s."
He was eager 10 get away from the
place. in the vague hope that the hustle
and movement of the train, the strange
faces, and the feverish hurry of London
life would distract his thoughts. Every
thing about Calthorpe kept the fact
steadily in his mind, that, however in
nocent in intention, circumstances dis
tinctly gave him the character of a
fortune-hu hunter.
Ugh! he shrugged his shoulders in
disgust. There was still three hours to
pass before his train time, and to escape
the house, rs well as with some faint
notion that so long as the letter was in
his hand he was still in communication
with her, he took it himself to the post
office.