San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1883-03-08
A BAD TOWN.
The Woes Ola Rurai Sportsman In . large ci'J'
dlobe-Demoerat.

| Democrat was Standing III VIZ SH.oA
Depot yesterday evening, waiting fol
the arrival of train, he was ap
preached by a lank, rustic'lookine
gentleman of middle age who asked
Stranger do you live here9"
The reporter having answered IN
the affirmative, the cadaverous coun-
tryman continued"
'"Well, now, you live in mighty
bad town. This is n doggon bad
town, stranger. Nv names Elijah
Duffy, and | live over here, close to
Roodhouse, Ill. Great squirrel coun-
try over there, and ducks! Why,
stranger, when the wind blows from
the north they come in clouds big
germ a circus tent. l wore out my
old shotgun at both ends shootin'
ducks and squirrels, likewise wild
goose. SEE / to myself I'll go over to
st. Louis and buy n breech-loader
and huntin' pouch and 'smore SIGH
like truck. Well, stranger, when |
gifts here 1 see the slickestlookin'
chap 1 ever met before and he says to
me: Hello, Duffy, when did you get
to town." Says 1: "Bygosh, Mister,
you got the advantage of me-what
might your name be?" why" says
he, as he shook my handlike camp
meetin' preacher, don't you know
me? Why, my names Cook, Sam
uel Cook. 1 used to run store in
Roodhouse. I didn't exactly re-
member him, but 1 thought 1 did,
as he was an uncommon 'peart look
in Teller, 1 shook his hand and said:
well, by gosh, I'm glad to see you;
let's take a drink" We goes into a
grocery store near by andha drink,
and l told him l came over to buy a
gun and some other truck. Well,
stranger, this here Cook was as nice
a lookin' man as ever stood up agin u
bar, and he talked so soft the words
kinder melted in his mouth. When
we'd had three or four drinks, or
tharabouts, he slapped me on the
shoulder and says: Duffy, old fel,
come with me and I'll show you the
finest gun store in town." Well,
stranger, we went thar and I bought
as fine a brich loader, double bar'l, as
ever a man sot eyes on. paid $50
in gold for it. Then we went to the
rubber store, and 1 bought huntin
suit and game pouch, which | filled
with tobacco and other truckI bought
in another store. Then we had more
drinks, which paid for the same.
And then I says, Cook, you're dog
gone nice fellow and l hate to leave
you, but I've got to go back to Rood
house; let's go to the ticket office and
buy a ticket" That's whar I sot my
foot in it. He says, Duffy, I'll stay
here and watch the gun and things -
you go up there to that buildin on
the next corner, buy your ticket, and
I'll wait for YOU" Well, stranger, if
you'll believe me, I got up thar to the
ticket Office and went to get my peck
et-book; it was gone. | searched all
over my clothes and in the inin', but
it was clean gone. Sowa my watch
and chain. Thar was $1O4 in my
pocket book, and paid $50 for my
watch and chain. Then 1 went on a
run for the bar whar I left Cook. He
warn't there. "Whars Cook?" said
l to the man behind the counter.
Who's Cook?" said he. Oh
Cook, and you too! Get out of my
saloon; you're drunk" I thought
maybe l was mistaken in the saloon,
and [ went out to hunt for the right
place, but the more I hunted the
more mixed got, until 1 didn't know
where 1 was. 1 met apoliceman and
he said I'd been tuck in by a conf
dence man, and that I'd better go to
the Union Depot and get outof town.
And here L am, stranger, with my
gun and all my truck gone, likewise
my money and watch. Doyou know
Cook? No? Well, I'd like to see
Cook. I'd just like to walk over him
and set down on him, and kinder
fondle him with a club. You bet if l
ever see Cook I'll"
Just here the aggrieved country
mans train began to pull out and he
jumped aboard. AS the train moved
from the depot he looked back, waved
his hand at the reporter, and said:
Stranger you've got "a very bad town
here; it wurse'n Chicago"
The Yankee South.
The Southern people love the Yam