The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-08-16

My temper was up. scarcely tasted
the tea which Mrs. Hedges had pro-
vided for me in the bedroom. Down to
the kitchen I went, determined to have
it out with those drains. Threw off my
coat. "Now for the saw" l said; 's1'n
take up the floor, and FULTON can do what
he likes. I'll be practical enoughforhim.
The saw-where's the saw, Mrs.
HedgesP" Mrs. Hedges hadn't seen no
saw, not if she was to be struck dead
the next minute. Where could it bep
Not on its proper hook in the kitchen;
not in the greenhouse, not inside the
piano, where Lucy frequently leaves
the tools. Perhaps it was in the cup
board under the kitchen stairs. l opened
the cupboard door. 1t stuck a little,
evidently not having been opened for
some time.
Immediately + did so. I trembled, for
/ felt, or rather smelt, that l was OF the
threshold of a discovery. The cupboard
was darkness; but from it proceeded a
stencil that nearly knocked me back
wards. 1t seemed as if the whole of the
London ''outfall' was concentrated in
that cupboard. 1t was as though all
the sewer gases of the metropolis had
taken rendezvous there. The atmos-
phere of a ''tea=meeting" in hot
weather was. sweet by comparison. 1t
almost approached the odor of Covent
Garden Market after a shower of rain.
"a candle, a caudle!" I cried to the
agued me-. With excited hands she
lighted it. held it aloft and peered
within. The cause of all the trouble
lay before me.
1t was the tortoise. My wife's tor
toise, that she was so fond of. Dead,
in n sense; but far too much alive in
another. You, my gentle reader, no
doubt know what a tortoise looks like
when basking in the sun; nay you
know what it smells like after a long
period of decay. 1t was fearful. But
let me, metaphorically, throw a sea of
eau-de-cologne over this part of my
story. By the aid of the tongs I trans
ported the defunct to the back garden,
and buried him deep-not deeper than
my curses-under the popular" The
demon was at length exercised.
All at once a terrible thought flashed
across my mind-the landlord. When
I remembered how I had bullied and
baited that man, how I had sent him a
lawyers letter, how 1 had accused him
of blood-guiltiness, how 1 had threat
ened to denounce him in the HighgGte
Cato, and how l had goaded him in
every possible way. my heart sank with.
in me. And he was coming ever nowi
Eight o'clock was striking, and there
was the sound of his highly practical
boots on the front steps. Should boltP
There was just a chance of escaping by
the side of the house, while Mrs. Hedges
parleyed with him at the front door.
But no, that would be cowardly. Unjust
diplomatise. He knocked. While my
retainer was opening the door, I hurried
to the ''oellarette," and drew forth q
bottle of sherry and a s~ponge-cake, as !
had seen my wife do when anybody
called that she was afraid of. I put on
my blandest smile as Mr.. FULTON came
into the room. I shook his hand heart
lily, asked after Mrs. P. and the little
ones (this was a spec, but practical
men are always largely married), gave
him a seat in full view of the sherry,
and then, in the most innocent way pos
sible, asked him to what Twas indebted
for the honor of a visit.
Mr.. FULTON looked rather blank. His
eyes opened as widely as was practica.
BILE. "Why, those drains, you KNOW
he slowly articulated. "Igot your law
: yer's letter"
"Ah, yes; bless my soul, I forgot" ]
: said, airily; stake a glass of sherry,
Yes, the drains, of course. o, the letter
was o mere joke. All, you've called
about the drains, them"
!; EYES," said Mr.. p, certainly.
Here's toward you"
: co." Invent on, smiling rather nerv
= o,,11- sr1r -ao1Dtf hnua fr01h1oA
l They're all right, you know, now; il
, fact, I was just coming round to sa.
So" I filled his glass again and Offered
him my cigar-case. .Ahem, have yo'
seen the EUening Stretcher? What
your opinion of the news from Nicara
, guar"
0 s.Funny thing" calculated Mr.. Pull
$ ton, half to himself.
s "What,y you mean the President's-
mo, those drains" he rejoined. 1"
e suppose the smell went away all of
e suddenp"
:: eyes," 1 replied, delighted at tn
chance offered ''that's it exactly; wen
d away as if by magic. But no more G
it, I beg"
h took him for a turn in the bac
l. garden, where he forsook sherry fo
whisky, smoked four cigars and file
N his case at my earnest persuasion. Wins
Z he thought 1 know not, but he kindl
said no more about drains. He treate
n me, instead, with an hours discours
d on the use of lath and plaster for party
y walls, on the art of piling up builder
is "extras'' and other practical subject!
and then departed. He is to bring h
le family to tea the Sunday after next.
AS soon,as he was fairly out of th
place ] wrote a full account to Lucy {
II the discovery, and its consequence.
le Dear girl, she answered by return ma
:, to tell me how much she had felt fc
IS my troubles, highly approved of m
conduct with regard to the sherry an
if sponge-cake, said she didn't mind 10
i ING the ~turtoise a button, wondered no
De it could have got into the cupboar'
declared she was never so happy
t. when at home, and urged me to {
n, down on the Saturday and bring the
all back. This of counsel did.
Lucy's conduct during this trying p
Rod has been beyond all praise, and 81
I'd has proved herself the dearest creatu
is that ever turned an eight-roomed vii
into a paradise. 1t never occurred
r me at the time to ask her what 81
Le meant Dy urSlnS me tnaG uay On u
IN railway platform to look into t
IN is worth while to ask her nov
in Some brutes without souls mig
lie be open to the suspicion that the who
affair was 4 plant" that the tortoi
p had been known to have died in the Gu
We board, and had been purposely left the
IS for the sake of forcing on a seaside Wis
e. but far, far be it from me to listen
| such base insinuations, to the discret
of the most amiable, loving and devot'
of her sex.-London Society.
tie DoeA Lightning Strike the Pine?
u. 1t has been often said by the social
u wise old Say Sos" in this locality tn
ed the lightning neUer strikes a pine tire
h but the fact was very conclusively q
of monstrated TO the contrary TODAY