The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1883-06-07

follows:
81 would were bird "
That settled her hash. No birds
need apply. What in the wide
world decent looking, healthy girl
wants to be a bird for. is more
than we can imagine. Granting
that an Iowa girl poet is as hand.
some as statute, how like thunder
she would look as a bird, sitting on
a rail fence on one leg, scratching
her feathers with one claw or hop
ping down under gooseberry bush
scratching for angleworms with
her bare toe nails. If the girl poet
bird should find an angleworm she
should run away and scream. But
maybe it is not that kind of bird
she wants to be. There is no kind
of a bird that can have so much fun
as girl. AS a girl she can go to
all places of amusement, dance and
firt and get mashed, but as a bird,
with nothing on but feathers, she
would catch cold. Imagine girl
poet flying around in the trees,
hopping from limb to limb She
would have the whole town watch
ing her, and making remarks.
Think how girl poet would feel if
she was bird, and should be moult-
ing. She would watch every feather
that dropped of, and wonder how
long the feathers were going to
hold out. And then if the girl
poet was a bird she would have to
set, if she was thai kind of q poet,
or a bird, and the setting would
commence just when there was the
most going on in society, and she
would have to stay right by re
gardless, and after the poet bird
got off of the nest she would look
sick and it would take her six
weeks to recruit up so as to make
"a decent appearance in bird society.
If girl poet desires to be bird
in order to get out of the duties
of life, so as to have high old
time chirruping around, stealing
cherries, and singing the liyelong
day, she makes a mistake. Birds
may seem to be free from care, and
to have a soft thing, but they have
a heap of trouble. There is the
same jealousy and back biting
among birds that there is among
human beings, and good-looking,
we'll dressed bird, who has any
style about her, and is tride in
dependent and jolly, will find that
she will get her feathers rumpled,
and be called names, and she will
wish some boy with bean snapper
would fire a load of beans right
through her. Our Iowa poet does
not say what kind of bird that
she would like to be, but we can't
think of any kind of bird that
would be as good as a girl. OF
course she wouldn't want to be
canary bird, or a mocking bird in d
cage, and have to sing for hemp
seed and mocking bird food, and
look out for cats She would prob
ably want to be II wild, ont door,
60 as you please sort OF bird. Well,
there is none of that kind that are
perfectly safe, and who always have
good time. If our girl poet bird
was q duck OF wild goose, she
might be flying along some day
when there would be a puff of
smoke under her, and she would
feel as though she had hot box,
and would go off and sit on a
muskrat house all night picking
No. 6 shot out of her meat, or the
second joint OF elsewhere as the
case might be. There wouldn't be
much fun in that. If she was a
pigeon she would be caught in a
trap and have her neck wrung.
And whatever kind our poet might
be, she would have to scratch gravel
for living, and eat worms. The
outlook would be first class. The
only bird she could be, and be a
success, would be a hen, and have a
rooster scratch for her, and then
and there would be the drawback of
having to share the worms her own
darling rooster might find with a
whole flock of hens. If our Iowa
girl poet has got a fair job in her
business, and Cain have any sort
of an extra dress to wear to parties
and can catch On to a fellow once
in a while, and does lot want the