The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1883-03-22
of the human body, can hardly be

t It is related of a rough-and-ready
examiner in medicine that on one oc.
/ casion having failed to elicit satisfac.
| tory replies from student regarding
, the muscular arrangements of the arm
and leg, he somewhat brusquely said
: "Ah! perhaps, sir, you could tell me
the names of the muscles [ would put
in action were to kick your'-"Cer-
tainly, sir" replied the candidate; "you
would put in motion the fexors and
extensors Of my arms, for should use
them to knock you down." History
is silent, and perhaps wisely so, con-
cerning the fate of this particular stu
dent. The story is told Of witty
Irish student, who, once upon time,
appeared before an examining board
to undergo an examination in medical
jurisprudence. The subject of exami-
nation was poisons, and the examiner
had selected that deadly poison prussic
acid as the subject of his questions.
''Pray, sir" said he to the candidate,
what is poisonous dose of prussic
acid?" After cogitating for a mo-
ment, the student replied with
promptitude: Half an ounce, sir"
Horrifed at the extreme ignorance of
the candidate, the examiner exclaimed:
Half an ounce! Why, sir, you must
be dreaming! That is an amount
which would poison community, sir,
not to speak Of an individual" y
"Well, sir," replied the Hibernian, II
only thought I'd be on the safe side
when you asked a poisonous dose. y
but pray, sir" continued the exami-
ner, intent on aseertaining the candi-
dates real knowledge, suppose man
did swallow half an ounce Of prussic
acid, what treatment would you pre-
scribe ?"-'Id ride home for stom-
ach-pump," replied the unabashed
student. "Are you aware, sir" re-
torted the examiner, "that prussic acid
is poison which acts with great ra-
pidity ?"-"Well, yes" replied the
student. "Then, sir, suppose you did
such foolish thing as you have just
stated, said the examiner; 'you ride
home for your stomach-pump; and on
returning you find your patient dead.
What would you, or what could you
do then?" asked the examiner in tri-
umph, thinking he had driven his vic
tim into corner whence there was no
escape. "What would I do?" reiter-
ated the student 'Do?-why, I'd
hould post-mortem!' For once in
his life, that examiner must have felt
that dense ignorance united to pow
er OF repartee was more than a match
for him.
Incidents of highly ludicrous ma
ture frequently occur in the examina-
ton Of patients both by doctors and
by students. A professor on one oc-
casion was lecturing to his class on
the means of diagnosing disease by the
external appearance, face, and other
details Of the patient. Expressing
his belief that a patient before the
class afforded an example of the prac-
tice in question, the professor said to
the individual: "Ah, you are troubled
with gout. mo, sir" said the man;
I've never had any such complaint"
said the professor, ''your
father must have had gout.' mo,
sir" was the reply; NOR my mother
either. ."-"Ah, very strange" said the
professor to his class. I'm still con-
vinced that this man is equity sub
ject. l see that his front teeth show
all the characters which we are accus-
toned to note in gout." Front
teeth calculated the patient
"Yes," retorted the professor; "I'm
convinced my diagnosis is correct.
You have gout, sir!''-"Well, that
beats everything" replied the man;
its the first time, sir, I've ever heard |
of false teeth having the gout. I've
had this set for the last ten yearsi"
The effect Of this sally on the part of
the patient, upon the inquisitorial
professor and his students, may be
better imagined than described.
Occasionally within the precincts
Of colleges and universities, rich vein
of humor may be struck in very un-
expected fashion. On one occasion a
professor, noticing that certain mem
bers of his class were inattentive dur
ing the lecture, suddenly arrested his
flow OF oratory, and addressing one of
the students, said: ''Pray, Mr.. John
ston, what is your opinion Of the posi-
tlon OF the animals just described, in
the created ?''-"Mr. Johnston"
was forced to say that ''really he had
no views whatever on the subject"
Whereupon the professor, turning to
a second inattentive student-who had |
evidently not caught "Mr. Johnston's"
reply or it's purport-said: "Mr
Smith, what is your opinion of the
position of these animals in the classi-
fled series ?"-"Oh, sill" replied the in
nocent Smith, my opinions exactly
coincide with those just expressed so
lucidlly and clearly by Mr.. John
stonr'
There are examiners, and examiners,
If course; some stern, others mild and
encouraging; some who try to discov-
er what student knows, and others
whose aim appears to be rather that
Of elucidating the ignorance Of the
candidates who appear before them. 1
But to the'end of time, there will be
humor mixed with the grave concerns
Of testing knowledge, which is, for
both sides, hard enough task. The
student who, when asked by stern
examiner what he would recommend
in order to produce copious perspira-
tion in patient, replied, I'D make
him try to pass an examination before
you, sir!' had keen sense Of humor,
which it is to be hoped the examiner
appreciated. His answer was in keep
ing with the question which has been
argued by us and by others, whether
the whole subject Of examinations, as
at present conducted, should not be
thoroughly overhauled and revised.