National Republican., 1883-02-01

ONE more cola wave is on its way here.
WHY arc women like blood9 Because they
will tell.
MANY Catholic priests in Italy receive only
$50 year.
NEITHER of the now senators of Colorado
has red hair.
SENATOR MCPHERSON, of New Jersey, be-
gun life as a butcher.
"a COFFIN" said the Irishman, "is the place
where man lives when he is dead"
THE last invention is a machine to play
piano. This is too utterly utter awful
THE Egyptian obelisk in Now York can't
endure our climate and is to be enclosed In glass
ATTORNEY GENERAL BREWSTER is a pro-
nounoed epicure, and gives very choice little din.
ners TO chosen few.
RUBBER has been found in Bolivia on tho
Boni river and the supply promises to break tho
corner in Para rubber.
JOHN GILBERT, the actor, whose skull was
fractured in the Milwaukee fire, is thought to be
in fair way to recover.
CoRoNERs have easy work with drowned
persons in Paris. They simply announce that
they died from being in-seine.
OF Oscar Wildes future plans the London
World says: "He goes TO America in the fall then
THE blade of tho sword of the gigantic
statue Of Germauia, to be placed at Nelderwald,
near the Rhine, weighs n ton. Thototal amount
of metal in the statue is forty five tons.
THE mayor of Milwaukee declares that had
II not been for the telegraph wires fully one half
of the people who were lost in the flames of the
Newhall house could have been saved
A MAN who has made a fortune in Califor-
MIA set about finding the only relative he had, a
niece After two years search he found her en-
ployed as mill hand in Burlington, Vt.
HENRY WILLARD, the Northern Pacific
millionaire, ran away from his fathers home in
Germany while boy, and landed at Castle gar
den with no friends and but little money.
G. M. LAMsoN, the London merchant who
controls the seal fisheries and fur sales of the
world, was born in Massachusetts seventy years
ago OF parents too poor to give him start in lfe
JUST as the Rev. Elisha Blackshcar, of
Thomasvllle, Ca, pronounced James White and
Delilah Anderson man and wife they fell into the
arms of the attendants dead They were both
affected with heart disease.
WoRKMEN who were oxcavatinga a cellar for
n new dwelling at Maspcth, l.. l., few days since
found number of arrow heads, stone hachets,
and drilled stones that belonged to the Indians
formerly inhablting the locality.
A LITTLE sensation was produced in a De-
trot hotel when 1t was discovered that the bell
boy, Willie Harmon, was in reality girl The
most astounded individual Of all was the porter,
who had been the supposed to- boys room
mate.
AN Arkansas politician was approached by
man, who said: "Colonel, please give me
nickle; want to cross the river" Haven't you
got nckle2' mo- SIR" al won't give you one.
!. A man who hasn't nicklo is just as well of on
this side Of the river as the other"
AT the winter quarters of Barnum's show,
In Bridgeport, a baby kangaroo, two weeks old,
Fattracls attention. When frightened 1t runs and
hides in the pouch of the mother and as the lat
ter sits in the pen, the baby's head now and then
pecping out Of tho retreat most comical sight Is
presented.
The steamer Santiago discovered burning
raft in mdocean on her last trip from Queens
town, which was drifting before the breeze on a
| smooth ocean sea without n soul on 1t. The fire
was apparently freshly lighted but there was no
other trace of any person having been aboard OF
for some time.
Mrs MCDONALD broke her legs so badly
while alone in her house at Mineral Point, Wis,
that she could not make her way out. She lay
helpless for a whole day, and had prospect of
| starving when neghbors dog strayed In. She
caught him aud tied note to his TAIL and sent
him home. He brought assistance.
THERE are four ladies now living in Cincn-
natl, each of whom have locks of hair cut from
tho head of the Prince of Wales while he was
visiting that city in 1850. There was great deal
OF anxiety at that time to obtain relics of this
prince, and the enterprising barber who shaved
the royal head netted some $40 over and above
the $40 he was paid by the prince.
THAT fine common sense possessed by the
horse, which prevents him, as rule, from doing
anything undignifed or erratlc, and which has
furnished frequently used smile, evidently de-
serted a certain quadruped of Atlanta, for tho
animal deliberately committed suicide by break
ing its neck against a stable wall after many un-
successful efforts in the same direction.
ELI PERKINS walked into grocery store
the other day and asked for u dozen eggs
Haven't got any" said the merchant; "they're
| very scarce about now" "Well," said Eli, "when
all resorts fail know how / can get them,
but they mightn't be very fresh" "And that is?'
| aueried the merchant. "By undertaking to lecture
in town where I've been before !" quoth Eli
sadly.
THERE is q new racket for Gainsboro hats.
| A gentleman in n German theater could not SEQ
tho stage in front Of him on account of one of
them. and he politely requested the wearer to take
It oil. She refused. He put on his own hat. The
! audience to man roared, " Take off that hatv'
The girl with the cart wheel hat thought they
were shouting at her. She took Off her hat. So
did the man.
"Is the lady of tho house in?" asked a
tramp of the servant, who rang the door bell of
one of the statelieSt mansions in Austin. "Do
lady OBJ de house don't come to de door to talk
wild de like OBJ YOU" "Then," said the tramp,
| elevating the remnant Of hat, with grace
Chesterfield might have envled Tell the lady
of the house that gentleman wishes to speak
with her in the parlor,"-7traS SdiRgs
CARLEs A. BRosIUs, of Germany, had the
misfortune TO die recently and leave an estate of
$50, ,0O0 lie had no family and he left no will,
SO the money is to be divided by the German
courts among the relatives most of whom reside
in this country. Two of the heirs in st. Louis.
another at Knightstown, Ind, and several at
Belleve, Ill. They will all be made rich, pro.
vided the lawyers do not get the money.
A DESIGNING young woman of New York
thought it sport to toy with the affections of
couple of rival Chinese laundrymen. Sne exhibi-
ted to each the gifts presented by the other, and
so worked upon their feelings of emulation that
soon the financial profits of both establishments
were pouring in upon her in tho form OF costly
| gifts. When bankruptcy stared the two Mongo-
lians in the face one Of them considerably buried
u hatchet in the brain OF the other and then him
self went to jail.
The present King OF Portugal is fully
abreast Of his fellow soveregns of Europe in edli-
| cation and advanced ideas. He keeps close watch