davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20
That Settled it.

A negro entered q store in village
in Alabama and asked to look ut some
coats. The only one which suited him
was garment worth about six dollars,
but for which the dealer asked fourteen
dollars.
"Tll go you eight dollars said the
negro.
'My trent, you must be crazy. Dot
goat ish worth more as | ask. "
"I'll say nine dollars, boss"
"Shust as crazy as pefore. "
sit isn't much of coat, " remarked
Sambo, as he looked it over again.
"Vhell, l don't brag about der cloth
or der color, or der making; but what
you shpose happens to der black mans
who puys der mate to dot goat? Dot is
what | look at.
''Did he. die of yellow fever, boss?"
mot much! Dot goat fit him so
nice, und make him look SO shenteel,
dot he runs away init my cousin Sarah,
und gifts her two thousand dollars.
have shust one more cousin left"
"Well, boss, guess III take it, re-
piled Sambo. And he got into it, and
took a walk around town to let the
cousin look him over Val Street
NelCS
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20
How a Prize was Missed.

According to the New York CORE.
spondent of the Utica Observer, a failure
to comprehend the familiar fact that
there is a time and place for everything
recently kept $4,000 out of a young
woman's pocket. She was member
of the Art Studenus' League and there
developed skill ,,t drafting far beyond
what is common in amateurs. When
the Harpers offered a prize in the sum
mentioned for the best drawing by an
unprofessional hand she decided to
enter the competition. She had become
accustomed in her class to draw from
nude models, and it was with quite
modest devotion to art that she intro
duced into her picture a scantily-draped
fcure of a woman. When the judges
came to consider the works submitted
for their decision they agreed that her
exhibit of skill was the best OF all and
the only one which in technical merit
deserved the prize. But the reyelatory
form in it precluded them from making
The award, and so they reported that
tbe money had not been won.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20
inst Like a Boy.

A manufacturing establishment down
| Fort street was moving its office the
other day, and had called in all the APP
prentice BOYS to assist in the operation.
| The desks and chairs and books and
maps and patterns were all safely
loaded and transported, and by-and-by
nothing was left but the fire ex-
tinouisher. One of the BOYS was ordered
TO place this on a wheelbarrow and
carefully wheel it over, but he knew a
plan twice as good as that. There
were straps on it, and he was big
enough to cary it slung on his back.
With the help of another boy he loaded
it up, and when he found it snugly
fitted to his back he pranced out and
wished from the bottom of his soul that
he had been fireman instead of an a3
prentice boy in foundry. He was
slumping along in a melancholy way
when his foot struck the end of plank
and he went sprawling. The nearest
person was an old woman with basket
on her arm, and right behind her was a
chap with white vest and yellow kids
on. Both started forward as the boy
yelled out, and the next minute q circus
was in progress. The fall got off the
machine, and it was impossible to
doubt that it was in fine working order.
There was distant rumbling and
grooming, as if old Vesuvius was on a
bender. Then came z-z-z-z-fizz! as if
somebody's soda fountain had con
cluded to quit business. The
boy rolled over and over,. the
hose flew around like whip-lash. and
such of the chemicals as didn't ill the
boys ears and eyes and pockets were
pretty evenly divided between the old
woman and the man with the white
vest. The man would have got across
the street had he not run into a hitch
ing post and got Il setback, and the
old woman would have escaped with
mouthful or two had she not stumbled
over him. There was screaming and
iawing and whooping among the three
as the terrified boy kept rOlling around
and calling for some one to put him
out, but nothing could be done until
the charge was exhausted. Then
Withholding object which had once
been man got up and kicked at an
apple peddler and madeOtf with his hat
in his hand at Il run, and an object
which had once been agood natured
old woman with four eucumbers in
basket, rose up and grabbed a handy
club and whaled away at the boy and
the eXtinguisher. hitting one as often
as the other, until her elbow grease
gave out. Then she painted and gasped
and announced:
I'm generally known as a peaceful
woman, but when anybody jumps at
me with an internal masheen and
throws corrosive sublimate and skunks
grease all over my best bonnet, I'm
bound to let 'em know that I've spunk
enough to resent it!'-Detro1 Free
Press
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20
A Brooklyn Mans Invention.

Walter Taylor, of Brooklyn, claims
to have invented new kind of motor
which will work a revolution in the
present system of operating machinery.
A Tribune reporter inquired of the in.
ventor the principles upon which the
engine was constructed and requested
to see it, but it is not vet completed and
could not be seen. Mr. Taylor, now.
ever, produced a tin coifee-pot of the
ordinary shape, which he filled three.
fourths full of water; then putting
on the lid he placed it on q stove.
In less than five minutes there was g
slight explosion and the lid of the poi
was seen to rise on column of water
which came straight up from the center
of the pot. 1t danced about at the tor
Of this jet for short time, till, becom.
ing oyerbalanced, it fell to the floor.
As soon as the lid was out of the way
the Stream of water rose to q consider.
able height and continued to rise higher
as the forces at work at the bottom OF
the pot became more heated. 1t was q
hot-water fountain. The water fell back
into the open mouth of the pot to be
again sent flying into the air with a
kissing sound, and thus the same ma.
terial was used over and over again in
kind of revolving process, the only
diminution in quantity being caused by
evaporation. A small tin tube could be
seen in the center of the pot, through
which this fountain passed its boiling
currents.
"There," said the inventor, .you
have the primary principles upon which
my engine is constructed. Give me a
boiler that will stand $50 pounds OF
steam pressure and | will throw a
stream OF water one foot for every
pound, or $50 feet. 1t is the best and
simplest fire apparatus in the world,
consisting of nothing more than the
boiler and the central tube, to which
the hose is attached"
elbow about the motor?"
Equally as simple. apply an in.
verified modification of the turbine water.
wheel or the original Barker's mill tc
the top Of the central tube. The up.
ward force of the water operates it. A
shaft and belt or cog gearing transmits
the motion to the machinery. Exceed.
ingly simple, you see. A five-year-old
child can run it,
Now, what drives the water out Of
that tube?"
"Steam."
"But how does it do it?'
That l am not ready to explain, as
my. invention is not patented. At an
early day hope to put it before the
public as the latest and most ingenious
Improvement in mechanical engineer.
ing the country has heard of for MANY
years. ~. Y. Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20
Not a ShylOcll.


A day or two ago man who was at
the Central Depot to take train sud-
denly cried out that some one had
stolen his valise, and he began such
IAuilabaloo that everybody had to be in
Gerestcd.
a sot that ere satchel right down
thar' and stepped to the door, he ex-
planned to Officer Button, land when |
Eeturned it was gone"
@'Well, you should have been care
11i}. We are not responsible fc+ such
losses"
''You amt Ell? Whar's the Presi
dentp''
-'0ut of the CITY, sir"
~Whar's the Gineral Managerpr
-S'He's sick abed."
"''Whar's the Superintendent
won't be here till four o clock
1'Wall, now, somebody's got to make
good that loss or about dozen men
will go to the hospital for six months
apiece"
''What was the valued"
FIFTY dollars and not cent lessr'
''What were the contentsp'
Il had twelve shirts, new suit of
clothes, an overcoat, and lots of other
Ghings."
''Was it q carpet-sack?"
f'She was"
Zone handle gone and the lock
brokcn?"
Eyes. one handle was gone, and [
had her tied with string"
''Is this it?' asked the officer, as he
took the baggage off u bench not six
feet away.
Great snakes! that's herr" chuckled
the owner.
In handing it to him the string broke,
the bag few open and out rolled two
old shirts, pair of socks and five or
six paper collars all there was in it.
''Then these are the buds YOU wanted
1ifty dollars for?" queried the officer.
''No, sir!' was the indignant reply.
81 should have taken the money fol-
boss of time and damage tom feelings
Tn no Sbylock, sirr'-DetroH Free
Press.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20
Rescued From Agonizing Death,

New YoRK.-Mr. James White, 1862
Broadway, formerly chief instructor in
DickePs Riding School, in this city, said to
a newspaper reporter: 81 broke my shout
der, arm and elbow, splitting the socket in
four parts. Rheumatism set in and l en-
ployed the best physician. He tried every
thing, but grew worse, and at last he said:
1 have one more thing to try and if th; st
fails nothing can give you relief, and that
is ST. Jacobs Oil.' used this great pain
reliever, and am able to use my arm, free
from all rheumatic trouble. l have also
recommended the remedy to a number of
people, and in every case they have been
speedily and effectually cured"
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

j. l.. Gross, taxidermist, of Cam
di4l, N. j., has captured kangaroo
mouse, which he found in grove near
Camden. The mouse is OF tawnv
color, with body little larger than
that of the ordinary mouse. Its fore
legs are only half an inch long, while its
hind legs are two inches long and its
tail, which is white, measures six
inches.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

TEST of affection-A lady poet asks:
Probably the best way is to get him into
an ice-cream saloon. Eat five dishes, and
then break the news gently. If he does NOT
accept the situation you had better try to
love him again. You could never do bet
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

NEPTUNE's power long ago vanished.
The waves tide his sands. N. B.-For the
benefit. of those readers who have not much
spare time at their disposal, map of this
joke is herewith appended. "1ide his
sandsW that means "tide- his-hands." See
it yet! Please omit Philadelphia
Bulletin
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

Young and middle-agad men, suffering
from nervous debility and kindred affec-
tons, as loss of memory and hypochondria,
should igclose three stamps for Part VII Of
Worlds Dispensary Dime Series of pam
phlets. Address WORLDS DIsPENsARY
MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, Buffalo, N. Y,
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

"A few nights ago an engineer of
the Western u Atlantic Railroad, in
Georgia, while overlooking the machin-
cry Of his engine preparatory to start
ing out on his run discovered small
white boy asleep on the cross-piece
under the engine pilot. The lad was
hauled out just before the train started.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

"THE dynamite party!" exclaimed Mrs.
Shoddy, who was reading over the papers.
Dear me, Augustus, We'll have to give
one right away before those Smiths hear
of it. wonder what it's like. "-OU City
Blizzdrd. '
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

"WHAT does 'lux' mean?' asked Brown.
Lux means light" replied Smith.
"That's what 1 thought" said Brown.
"but l wasn't certain. | know nv luck's
always light, however. "-Boston Tran
script.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

1T is estimated that there are six thou
sand professional burglars in this country,
and we don't see what is to prevent a
young lawyer from rising in his profess
sion.-DetrOit Post.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

ONLY Two BoTTLEs.-Messrs. Johnston,
Holloway q Co, wholesale druggists of
Philadelphia, Pa, report that some time
ago gentleman handed them dollar, with
request to send a good catarrh cure to
two army officers in Arizona. Recently the
same gentleman told them that both the
officers and the wife of well-known U. S.
A. General had been cured of catarrh by
the two bottles of Ely's Cream Balm.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

ARE all things what they seem?-N. Y
Graphic. Not always. A sewing-machine
seams broadcloth, sometimes, but it is iron
and steel ell the same.-OH Citg Der
rick.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

Is entirely different from all others. 1t is
as clear as water, and as its name indicates
is perfect Vegetable Hair Restorer. II
will Immediately free the head from dan
druff, restore gray hair to its natural color,
and produce new growth where it has
fallen off. It does not in any manner af-
feet the health, which sulphur, Sugar of
Lead and Nitrate of Silver preparations
have done. l. will change light or faded
hair in few days to a beautiful glossy
brown. Ask your druggist for it. Each bot
tie is warranted. BENTON, MYERS Il Co.,
Wholesale Agents, Cleveland, Ohio. and
c. N. CRITTENToN. New York.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

"EUGENE L. DIDIER accuses Tennyson
of plagiarism" Tennyson? We have
heard of Didier; but who in the Dickens is
Tenny Herald.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

USED Swift's Specific IS. S. S. for a
bad case of Blood Poison from Malaria, and
am satisfied that it saved my life, as l was
given up to die. C. G.. SPENCER,
Sup't Gas Works, Rome, Ga.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

Rev. W. B. SMITH, Grafton, Mass, says:
" L have derived benefit from using Browns
Iron Bltters for low state of blood"
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

YES" said Mr.. Soddineton: "NIrs.
Smith is clever sort of woman, no donht.
but, then, she is so vulgar Would won ba,
lieve it, she wears her own teeth 20
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

In New York four highwaymen
the Oldest aged eleven and the Youngest
eight years, waylaid ten-year-old Vic.
TIM, and while three of them held him
up the captain of the gang robbed him
OF every valuable he possessed--a tape
string and four marbles The princi.
pie OF the thing rather than the amount
OF the plumber melted the YorkviIle
court to send the banditti to the re.
form school.-N. T. Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

"A cure for wasp stings consists in
She placing of hollow barrel of a kew
Immediately around the sting until 4
hurts. On removing the key the stino
VIII be found lying outside the puncmre
1t has made. Chicago Inter ocean.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

God bless the man who first invent
ed sleep"' said Dumley, as he reached
home at two q. m. and discovered his
wife snoring sweetly. Rochester Post.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

Skinny Men. "Wells' Health Remover"
restores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

A PAIR of suspenders-The hangman and
his assistant The Judge.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

REDDING'S Russia Salve, best family salve in
the world, and excellent for stable use. 2:nts-
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

AN invaluable strengthened for the nerves,
muscles and digestive organs, producing
strength and appetite, is Browns Iron Bit.
tiers.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

HALF loaf is, no doubt, better than
none, but newspaper man never gets a
chance to loaf at az, Colchester Post E1-
press.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

=, HoME,BoUND-The bed-ridden patient
N. Y. Neaos.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

If beggar abuses you do not mind it.
for 1t is only vague-rant.~Ch Chicago ITtb-
une.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

CHICAGO papers call Cincinnati the
" Plaster Paris of America"
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

IN 1850 "BrO1Un's Bronchial TrocbeS"
We're introduced, and their success as a
cure for Colds, Coughs, Asthma and Bron-
chitis has been unparalleled.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

Mother Swans Worm Syrup" for few
Nlshness, restlessness, worms. TastelesS'
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

A TENOR singer can always secure hall
easier than basso, because he can 60
hiUher.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

Rough on Rats" Clears out rats, mics
hles, reaches, bed.bugs, ants, vermin. loc'
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

STRING BANDA lynching party
Baltimore Every SATURDAY..
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

TooTERs of brass instruments are the
banditti Of American villages.-M l.
Neios.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

THE dude proper parts his hair, his
watch-chain and his name in the middle.
-PhilGdeLphia NelrS.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

FLORENCE, GA.-Dr. w. B. Prather says
BROWNS ron Bitters has given satisfae;,,
ZION Ill ever instance have known it used"
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

If afflicted with Sore Eyes, use DIR. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it. 25c.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

A PUNGENT, pleasant, perfect, pain pre-
ventive is n. X. Browns s.Jamaica Ginger.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

Wells Trough on Corns." 15c. Ask for it.
Complete, permanent cure. Corns, bunions.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

Look Well to the Name.
The only genuine German Hop Bitters haye
the word Germaa" blown in the bottle
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

STRAIGHTEN old boots and shoes with Lyons
Patent Heel Stineners, and wear them again.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

Buchu-paiba." Complete cure, all an
noying Kidney Diseases, irritation. 81.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-10-20

BLOOD FoisonInE-An AIarlhinS DlscoVery.
Half the people are suffering and many
die from this fatal complaint. Diseases of
the kidneys and liver are the principal
causes. As a cure we can only recommend
German Hop Bittcrs.-JOWRdl of HPdlth
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1883-02-22

THE great floods in the lower Ohio are
about over, and the river isfast getting
down to natural appearance. Although
somewhat exaggerated during the panic
at the time, the overflow exceeds the
worst that has occurred in history. the
water reaching at Cincinnati GO feet and
4 inches, which is feet inch higher
than the great food. of 1882. Aftei
reaching the above point on last Thurs
day the water was ut astandstiIl for some
hours, when it was noticed that it had
begun slowly to recede, and continued
to fail, although at Pittsburgh. Wheeling
and other points above. the water was
rising. On Saturday the railroads we're
in running order and mails were on
time. The amount of property actually
destroyed, although very 1argein amount,
will not nearly reach the high estimates
which were predicted during the excite
ment. The greatest fear is that the
flood will be followed by some kind of
pestilential disease. as in 1882, the high
water was followed by cholera, and ex-
ira efforts are now being made To clean
up ths submerged districts and if this
is properly done, the result will be rath-
er the reverse, as it will place the city
in better sanitary condition than ever
before. The Relief committees were
abundantly supplied with funds, the
amount of voluntary contributions in
cash alone aggegating $4,000 up to
Monday evening. l-t
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1883-02-22
Neighborhood Notes.


New Athens is suffering from the
measles. ,Er:u.-l :irsf Sss.1e s-l,e
Cambridge young men are organizing
a bicycle club. >; u ',l 4'ii 'a' 80.
Samuel Johns, aged 95, died recently
in Noble county. ,5..J9., a.. ...9 .,..
Woodsfield will have new planning
mill in operation by May 1st. =. a2si ofi
The silver and gold plating fraud
gulled Caldwell people last week, ~ .r5
In Benwood, West Va. there lives a
six year old child that weighs only II
pounds. iet is s.alsu SIS -lilia 'e'aO
The Columbiana county grand jury
completed it labors last week, returning
s5 indictments. .r..s la. 80
Smallpox has again made its appear
ancs at Wheeling. Two eases were re-
ported last Wednesday. s33'Af ~ -
[ There are seyenty-six inmates in the
Guernsey county inirmary-a laTgef
number than ever before. .. t.r .......s.
Two cows in Noble county yielded %
pounds Of butter in three days, and 'av
erage Of ~ pounds per day. .'f9 g. a'' r.
Burglars blew open the safe of .Kle-,
Wis, Kraft & Co., Wheeling, last Thurs
day, and got SO for their trouble. -.
The Jefferson county grand jury
found 81 liquor violation indictments,
and three Indictments for burglary. .s,iH
Ef Mr.. j. S. Fosters promineht business
man Of Stcabenville, died on Saturday
after two days Illness from pneumonia,
aged a. - t73 10y - seA g Z; 70 =
The town of Toronto, Jefferson coun-