The Brookhaven leader., 1883-04-12
MY LOVE STORY.

Are there no underwriters for human
hopesS for the most precious of interests is
there no insurance.
had been tempted all day, tempted
by fate and the devil. All summer long
L had been trying to clasp hands for a
life journey with man l did not love;
a man noble of soul and born to the
purple, who set up high lineage against
my poor gifts of beauty and song. He
threw some love into the scales, too, but /,
God help me, had none to give in return
l had bartered erewhile my whole pos
sessions for few glances of a dark,
dark eye, and my note had gone pro-
test.
Could I, could IP 1t kept following
me about with fateful persistency, for
tonight / was to give my answer to my
high-born lover.
l tried to look things in the face, to
count the cost
Money was a good thing; it insured
one warmth in winter and delicious cool
ness in summer, and prettiness and
daintiness, and the entrance into good
society. Yes, money was good thing,
and position and power, and houses
and lands. So far, good; but my soul
hungered and thirsted for love COM
mensurate with my own, which this
man, who offered me purple and gold,
had it not in his power TO give, or, let
me qualify that, had it not in his nature
to give.
The stars came out golden and soft,
and the fragrant summer dusk crept
around me where sat inhaling the scent
of the roses. Ambition and love tore
my heart by turn, and WEAKNESS, too,
put in poor pitiful plea, for was so
tired, so tired.
1t was brilliant future that Reginald
Dacre offered me, wherein toll and
WEAKNESS could never come. Thought
of the purple and fine linen; the lux
uriOus rest; the emoluments! Then nv
daily life passed in review before me
that of companion to a naughty, fine
lady, and a singer in fashionable
church, among fashionable saints and
sinners. began to Groom over the old
satire:
lin a'church which is garnished with mullion
With altar and reredos, with gargoyle and
groin.
The penitents' dresses are sealskin and sable
The odor of sanctity's eau de cologne.
But surely if Lucifer flying from Hades,
Gould gaze at this crowd, with its paniers
and paints,
He would say, looking round at the lords and
the ladies,
% whore is All Sinners, if this is All
SaintsT"
had entered upon this life from an
unloved and unloving home, a home
doled out to me by the tardy Justice of
grand-uncle who had robbed me of nv
inheritance. thought at first l might
find the sangreal somewhere in this
new country, which seemed so fair, but
alas! had not even heard the swish
of wings.
| thought of it all-the fever and the
fret; the petty jars; the misunderstood
ings; the pain of incomprehension; the
unguerdoned toll; the tagging hours
the awful pauses.
This or marriage; this or marriage
1t seemed written like a placard on
earth and sky. 1t seemed bound like
phylactery upon the brows of the PEG.
pie as they passed to and fro; and soor
the word marriage lost all its signifi.
canoe for me, as words do after oft re.
peating. Did it mean misery or happi
ness, bliss or woe? This marriage
that rung it's changes through my brain
was it God-appointed? Did it NEAR
God blessing or His curseP
You know l did not love this mar
who offered me rest from my labors
He had not power to evoke one thrill al
, his call. But then love is only one
reason why one should marry man
There might be love and plenty o.
money, and yet one 90 hungry all ONE.
life. / have known such things.
had tried to make my life straight
and fair. had tried to keep clear
hands and a pure heart; tried-God
who knows the secrets of all hearts
knows this-to fight despair.
80 Long, green days,
Worn bare Of grass and sunshine: long calm
From which the silken sleeps were frettet
Be witness for me-"
We see through shadows all our life
long. We come into this world with
out our being given a choice as to ou1
advent, and 60 out oft in the same man
ner.
We have not been consulted as tc
birth or death. More and more the PRAYER
ofEpictetus haunts me. Lead me, Ecu.
and Destiny, whithersoever am ap.
pointed to go; will follow without
wavering; even though. / turn coward
and shrink, ! shall have to follow al
the same"
Should marry Mr.. Dacre? Was he
good parti? as the world said. Toe
good for me, as my lady elegantly
phrased it.
/ had been born into the world amid
herce throes of mental anguish. Ny
mothers heart was rent with the great