Smyrna times., 1883-02-28

next season. 1t is no trouble for her
70 go over the high C's.
Judge Pettibone of Wilkesbarre in
vented straw paper in 1922. The in
ventor of straw bail was probably a
New Yorker
1t is all nonsense to claim that con-
is hereditary. Who ever
heard Of baby without q good, strong
pair of lungs?
Paintings of ragged street urchins
find ready sale at big prices in New
York galleries. The originals, how
ever, find it very difficult to keep from
starving.
The price of wife in Siberia is 8
dogs. The price of a wife in America
is brownstone front and sealskin
sacque, with bonnets and other fxings
thrown in.
The diamonds worn by New York
bartenders are said to be worth $780,
600. The carbuncles worn on the
noses of New York bar patrons probab-
ly cost about $5OOO,OOO.
Monogram window-shades are be-
coming fashionable. The only objec-
tion to them is that strangers are con-
tinually coming in without ringing
and asking where the barroem is.
Boston is complaining about its
water, and yet Boston water will run
out of a spigot without being heated,
and it is only delicate brown in color.
The Bostonians are very particular.
Heard in boudOir: "Will you wear
a rose in your hair?" "No, indeed;
roses have become too disgustingly
cheap. l shall wear a strawberry set
in cluster of new Bermuda potatoes"
"Yes," said the country telegraph
operator, some people don't seem to
have any sense. A dispatch arrived
last week for a man around the corner
and the darned fool hasn't come for it
yet"
The Great Eastern is soon to be sold
at auction, and it is reported that
David Davis has sent his measure to
the owners to find out whether the
vessel will be big enough for steam
yacht.
= Judging from the number of railroad
accidents lately, the popular line of
the future will be the one which adver-
tises that the road-bed is stuffed with
feather pillows and the fences are pad
ded with cotton.
Herr Most says that before he came
: to this country he was led to believe
that the people were hungry, in rags
and ready for revolution. Herr Most
| had evidently been talking with an
, escaped Greenbacker.
e Mr.. Froude, in the course of recent
t lecture, stated that Cato did not begin
to learn the Greek language until he
l was S4 years of age. The boys of to-
day tell their fathers that they are
r anxious to follow the example of Cato.
A Philadelphia youth, who has been
: spending $1,000 a year of his fathers
money, says that if the old man will
;, give him a regular allowance of $40 900
= a year he will reform. His father says
! he will not decide until he sees how
! the equally expensive reform of Phila-
. delphia turns out.
l. Over 21,OO0,OO0 spools of thread are
y used in this country every year, and
. careful statisticians are of the opinion
. that fully five of these spools are used
l in sewing on shirt buttons-oRs in the
e West, one in the South and the other
VI three in the East, Northeast, Alaska,
s. Greenland and Canada.
l. A Chicago lady once sent Longfel-
e low packet of 200 visiting cards with
l. the request that he would return them
W with his autograph, as she wanted to
is give each one of her guests at a party
10 pleasant souvenir of the occasion.
d He did not do it, and to this day there
n is one lady in Chicago who considers
1 Longfellow greatly Overrated poet.
What nonsense this is" exclaimed
N a Gotham belle, looking up from daily
lie journal. "This paper says that death
N has been busy in high places this year
,e and some of the most prominent men
of in the country have passed away
rt Why l was present at the very last
It party before Lent, and there was not q
p leader of the german who was net alive
o. and WELL"
if
to Ingersoll says plug hats and sus-
of penders are needed in the South before
n she will make much headway, as no
of people who wear slouch hats and let
r their trowsers hang slovenly on their
W hips can never become civilized.
,e That's it With the danger OF break
ing his suspenders and having his 81
hat mashed staring him in the face, 8
u- man will be slow about going into o
m fight.
- A New York letter says Jay Gould
of is seeking a social position for the
a benefit of his children, but not with
!. great success. This is no doubt true
!. Jay Gould may be very nice sort of q
a man, but he will never make any
- headway in New York society. He
- hates champagne, don't know much
about polo, never chased an aniseed