davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04
PLEASlNTRIE&

SHocKINo disastor-An earthquake.
GHosrs mus, come from gnome mans
lhnd.
SMKLLISo salts-Sailors trying 10 dis
cover a place where whisky is sold.
The Arabic for cat is git" That
ought TO be the English Of IL, too
Git too?
PERsoSAL--John, como back all Is
forgiven Pa kicked the wrong man.
He did not know il was you Stella.
SOME one who has been there remarks
that young author lives in an attic
because one is rarely able 10 live ON his
first story.
The reason that baggageman re-
Gently hurled himself from a fourth
story window was that he was insane,
and thought he was a trunk.
"WHAr makes you look so deathly
sick, Tommy" "well, the fac Z the
matter is, I've been taking my first
chew, and l am only an amachower."
A DUBLIN newspaper contained the
following: 81 hereby warn all persons
from trusting my wife, Ellen Flanagan,
on my account, as | am pot married to
her."
mo" SAID the cashier. az didn't
need the money. wasn't specializing.
/ had no necessity for stealing it But,
hang il I didn't want TO be called &C.
centric"
Nor too funny: "Dwo vas schoost
enough, budt dree vas too blendty," re-
marked Hans, when his best girl asked
him to take her mother along with them
10 dance.
NIAGARA FALLs is SO brilliantly illum-
mated by the electric light every even
ing that, after paying the hackman, you
can easily see whether there is anything
left in your pocket.
IT is rather unpleasant to hear pub
lie speaker remark, "My friends-ur, ]
wish to say few words-ur on this occa.
sion-ur," etc. /; but then we must remem-
Der that TO ur is human.
AN Eastern man started gorgeous
"billiard parlor" out West, but neglect.
ing liberal supply of spittoons it was
said his establishment did not come up
to the public expectoration.
The New Haven Register gives the
following excellent directions as to how
to tell good onion; Hire your best
girl TO eat it raw, and then call upon
her. II the onion is good your stay viii
be short"
IT is feared that the enormous manu-
facture Of wooden toothpicks is utterly
destroying the forests Of America; but
then, the young man who spends all his
salary for good clothes must have some
thing to eat.
A FRENCH writer remarks, elf lady
says TO you, 1 can never love you,
wait a little longer I; all hope is not lost
But il she says. "No one has more sin
cere wishes for your happiness than I,
take your hat"
A SoUrn AMERICAN plant has beer
found that cures bashfulness. 1t SHOULD
DO promptly tried ON the man who
leaves the hotel by the back window be
cause he is too diiiident 10 say good-by
TO the cashier and clerk.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

IT is worthy of notice that very few
men distinguish themselves AS editoA
who do not first of all serve a patiens
apprenticeship either as subordinate
writer's or as the conductors OF unim-
portaut publications. Experience shows
that there is good deal more 10
be mastered than the art Of writing
we'll. II is in this sense that journalism
is called profession.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

NEVADA has about 1000, 600 aeres OF
salt land, and could supply the whole
earth il necessary. Beside this she has
about 1, 200, 900 acres Of soda and brim-
stone deposits, sufficient TO run hades for
the next 100, 900 years. d..
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

FoRrY-NNE out of every fifty beggars
are rank swindlers and base impostors,
and yet the average beggar collects
about 70 cents per day.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

AMONG the Athenians the perforation
Of the ears was a mark Of nobility; with
the Hebrews and Romans IT indicated
servitude.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

At a stenographic exhibition in
Paris "a different systems ofshorthand
are on view. Among other curiosi-
ties there is a postcard containing A..
600 words.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

James G.. Parkinson, a deaf and
dumb lawyer Of the Cincinnati bar,
has been admitted 10 practice before
the Supreme Court, being the first
mute ever enrolled at that bar.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

An observing man has noticed that
shomakers are careless about the shoes
they wear, hatters about their hats,
and tailors about their clothing. This
probably explains why some ministers
are personally careless about their re-
hoinn.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04
Koaansteln On poo, PeopLe.

"Hfermon," said Hofenstein, as he
glanced over a book in which he kept
small accounts, "has dot shoemaker
vat keeps de corner around bald vot
he owes de sdore yeti"
pNo, Mr.. Hoilenstein," replied the
clerk, "but I dhink he will. He vas
4 goot man, II he vas poor"
"Dot may be so, Hermon, but you
had pedder watch him. Don'd let
him hat noting more on CREDIT. You
must always dink II man is a RASCAL
undil he bays vat he owes; If you
dond, you will lose money by dinking
he vas goot. My gr.ra.cious, Her
mon, have zeen blenty Nv boor men
vat vas gootl Dey would get dings at
my sdore on CREDIT and sbeud DER
cash init some Won else. Vetch de
shoemakes, Hermon; | hat peen boor
myself vonce."
ode shoemaker, Misder Heden
stein, said the clerk, "vould haf bald
pevore dis, If he dond hat peen 20
boOr."
"Put he don'd got no pisness being
dot way" replied Hofenstein. "a
man vat vas boor, Hermon, don'd can
blame no Won but himself Wy don d
he got velty like odder beoblesl II a
man vas sadisvisd init peipg boor, he
don'd can pc vert ANGLING, you know.
Ven vas bedding, vent to a Selty
merchant TO get some goots on CREDIT.
He don'd let me haf dem, und l dold
him dat l vas honesd, if vas a boor
man. Vat you drinks, Hermon' he
says, My trent, hell vas so vull NV
boobies in your vix dat DER lege vas
shtickiug de vlnders oudl' Dot exbe-
rience, Hermon, learned me dot boor
man don'd hat got influence enough
70 make de dogs bark at him, und SO
vent 10 work. Dree year alder dot,
l haf dry goots sdore uud vas bresi
dent Nv bohtical association. My
yr.r.acious, Hermon, meier want to re
a bOor mani DE only ding watts boor
man can get vas religion, und he
vould't get dot if it cost anyding'
Recgolleck dot berseierenoe in pisnes'
will make you velty, und dot If you
vail in de rigid way dere vas money
ia it. Ven | vent TO Simon kraus
man, my vife's uncle, und | says
Simon, dink ! will vail; dere val
no money in de pisness any longer.
Reuben he says, de poys vas bay
ing as high as dwenty cents, dis year
und | dink you pedder Wait l dool
his advice, Hermon, und nexd year
ven dey vas only baying den cents,
vailed, ind made otter YOUR dousan'
tollars. Shust dink NV III Now, der
was Solomon Oppenheimer, who pu
a leedle sdore ub away out in Argan
sas, und de country for vifteen mile
around vas 20 boor dot all de vlea
vent away. Veil, he but his sdor
dere, und vor zeex years he vailed
pisness. und now Solomon owns
couple NV prick sdores in Houston
Texas, He made all Nv dot by his be
seference. Dink of it, Hermon, IN
vile you dink Of it, dond let de sho'
maker We vas dalking aloud got ava
mitoud baying vat he owes"
IT. no.k..J .ailwav nronQr IA
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

The Knights Of Honor in the Uni
ted States distributed last year to the
families Of deceased members the sum
of So, $50, 900 and this at cost of
AZ 600, or about one seventh of one
per cent.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

KATE FIELD is among the first women
70 advocate cremation.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

Chronic Diar-
IA NXA rhsa, Jaundice,
~ Impurity Of the
S&1 IN Blood Fever snd
U5dIlISIIl and an Di.s.:s.
caused by De-
rangement Of Liver, Bowels and Kidneys.
SYMPTOMS OF A DISEASED LIVER.
Bad Breath Pain IN the Side, sometimes the
pain is iclt under the shoulder-blade, mistaken Tor
rheumatism general loss q appetite Bowels
generally costive sometimes alternating with lar!
the head e troubled with pain, Is dull and heavy
with considerable loss Of memory, accompanies
with painful sensation ofleaving undone something
which ought 10 have been done. a slight, dry cough
and flushed face Is sometimes an attendant, often
mistaken for consumption the patient complains
Of WEAKNESS and debility nervous. easily startled;
feet cold or burning, sometimes prickly sensation
Of the skin exists spirits low and respondent,
and, although satisfied that exercise would be bene-
fetal, yet one can hardly summon up fortitude 70
The above symptoms attend the disease but cases
have occurred when but few Of them existed. yet
examination after death has shown the Liver TO
have been extensively deranged.
II should be used by all persons, old and
young, whenever any Of the above
symptoms appear.
EoENOmH NE.NsHuE OF MANhMH w
healthy localities, BY taking dose occasion,
ally 20 ke4 the Liver In Healthy action, will avoid
all Malaria, Bilious attacks, Dizziness, Nau-
sea, D5owsine;s, Depression q Spirits, etc; IL
toxicating beverage.
II You have eaten anything hard Of
digestion. or feel heavy after meals, or sleep
less at night take dose and you viii be relieved.
Time and Doctors Bills will be saved
by always keeping the Regulator
In the Housed
For. whatever the alment may be, thoroughly
safe purgative, alternative and tonic can
never be out Of place. The remedy Is harmless
and does not interfere.with business or
pleasure.
IT Is PURELY vEGETABLE.
And has all the power and efficacy Of Calomel or
Quinine, without any Of the injurious after effects
A Governors Testimony.
Simmons Liver Regulator has been IN use in my
family tor some time. and am satisfied IL is
valuable addition to the medical science.
]. GIL SHORTER, Governor OF Ala.
Hon. Alexander III. stephens, Of Ga,
says: Have derived some benefit from the use OF
Simmons Liver Regulator, and wish to give it a
further trial.
"The only Thing that never falls TO
Believe."-I have used many remedies for Dys-
pepsia, Liver Affection and Debility, but never
have found anything TO benefit me to the extent
Simmons Liver Regulator has. l sent from Min
nesota TO Georgia for il, and would send further for
such medicine, and would advise all who are sim
iAry affected TO give Il trial as II seems the only
thing that never fails 10 relieve.
p. M. JASNKx, Minneapolis. MINI.
DIR. r. w. Mason sayss From actual ex-
perience In the use Of Simmons Liver Regulator in
my practice have been and am satisfied to use
and prescribe Il as Purgative medicine.
take only the Genuine, which always
Co. the Wrapper the red 2 Trademark
iure Of j. III. ZEILIN a co.
nv ALL DRUGGISTS.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

A rural typo, in setting up a farm
item made it read "the temperature
of the soul depends upon its humidi
ty," and when the editor came in with
his wet boots on and lifted the wretch
out into the soil Of the adjoining pig
pen he had time to reflect upon the
difference between soul and soil.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

George W. Ribelln. 81 Blue Mound. m, writes
that Brown's III pectorant cured him " a severe
cold amer every thing else had ALLIED fer sale By
Penny 4 McAiistsr, stanford. and W. a. Weber
MI Vernon.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

New rope for halters may" says
the OHIO Farmer, "be rendered per-
manentlS climber and soft, by boiling
two hours in water and then drying
in a warm fO0m.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

Miss Ellen Mace, Of Broc'On. ILL.,, says her Phy'i
clans gave her up a. hopeless eonsnmptise' ba
four bottles Of Browns ExPeessrant cured her 70
sale by Penny a McAlisier, STANFORD, and W.
Weber, MI. Vernon.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

The Gothard railway proper is ll3
miles long, aud there are in all not
less than SO tunnels, comprising more
than one-fifih of the whole line, ma
ny of these tunnels being also con-
structed in spirals, to enable the road
to make very great accents within
short distances. The main tunnel is
nine and one fourth miles long, and
others exceed 5000 feet in length; the
width of the great tunnel is 26 feet.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

Hal Lyons. Louisville, KY says 81
used Browns Irep Biiters for dyspepsia
and indigestion; it\ Is the best remedy !
ever tried"
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

A man at hotel fell the whole
length of flight of stairs. Servants
rushed to pick him up. They asked
him ii he was hurt. NO" he repli-
ed; "not at all. am used to COM
ing down that way, I'm life insu'
rance agent.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

When sinners have supposed them
selves to be dying and protested to be
converted, but afterwards have unex.
pectedly recovered, in most cases they
have lived as they did before. This
is the general opinion OF pastors who
have seen these supposed deathbed
conversions. as reported by the Chris
iian Advocate.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04
That Thieving Tariff
WEEKLY CoURIER-JoURNAL
MANY TIMES LARGER

paict III Auo hoNefefea "Nse@' -
MANY TIMES LARGER
Than any political newspaper In the South, and Is
excelled BY but few In the United States. IL con.
tain each week the most complete summary Of
the news Of the world, and Its editorial columns
Henry Watterson, Edltor-in- ChieO are always
able, strong aud bright. Among the
ESPECIAL FEATURES
Are Teegraphic Specials from all the leading Poln
In the United states and Europe, Serial and short
Stories TAlmages sermons the day after delivery
In Brooklyn Tabernacle, Market Reports fash-
ion Letters, Turf aud Stock Reports, Answer 70
Correspondence Department, Poetry aud Depart
ment Tor Children. No Home in the Country
should be without It.
SUBSCRIPTION TERMS!
Daily. si2 a year; sunday, 81 a year Weekly,
singly copy one year so; Five copies, one year,
IS so. Alter a club Of i've has been sent as the
club raiser can, throughout the year, add single
subscript Of our lowest club rate-Sl.lO Tor
yearly subscriptions. Yearly subscriptions only
eau BE- rece we'd at this rate. Our terms tor less
than = year are u lOI eight months 10 cents
for six months; Sc cents Tor three months.
A sample copy OF Weekly C0arter-J0urndl " sent
free Of charge tor examination ON application
Liberal cash commission allowed canvassersi ana
Outdt sent them free OF charge. Address
Mn HALDEMAN.
President Courier Journal Co., Louisville, KY
Democratic and for Tariff for Revenue
only.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04
MEET LI1RTE.

Francis Bret Harte was born at Alba
ny, n. Y, in 1897. At II he went to
California, whore he taught school, be-
same miner and then compositor in
A newspaper Office at Eureka, New. Re-
turning TO San Francisco. he was COM
positor, and afterward editor Of the
Golden Era. He held positions sue
,essiyely in the Surveyor Generals Office,
he United States Marshal's Office and the
Branch Mint, and was concerned in the
management of the Californian He
became widely known by his poems and
characteristics pictures OF California life
n the Overland Monthly, founded and
edited by him in July, 1868. Since then
ne has published several volumes oil
stories, sketches and poetry. Harte now
ives in England.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

All diseases resulting from seli'abuse' as
nervous debility, mental anxiety, degrees
ion Of spirit and functional arrangement OF
nervous system, cured by German lnvigo-
rator. see advertisement. For sale BY
Penny q McAlister.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04
pllEsI PILEsl PILEsl

Dr. DemfaS's kes0 Discovery FOR
piles is a radical change ffom the old remedies
heretofore muse The Discovery IL the result Of
years Of pa tien, scientific study and Investigation
into the character Of this painful disease To con-
vince you Of lis great merit, call on Penny Nc
Allster, stanford, or W. NJ. Weber, Mt. Vernon
ana get . sample box free Of charge.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04
EorDvepepeia.

For Dyspepsia,
q ostiveness.
Sick Headache,
Chronic Diar-
rl,@a, Jaundice.
Inpurity Of the
Blood, Fever and
lAgue, Malaria,
and all Diseases
eauaed nv De-
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04

Miss Lille Wall, Of Irwin coun.
ty, Ca, was dangerously i'll for sever.
al days, and the doctors quietly in
formed her father, Mr.. Jasper Wall,
that bis daughter could not possibly
live. Going to the bedside and view
ing her sadly, the father said; my
darling child, you are obliged to die,
but | only hope that | may die first. "
Shortly after he went into commissions
and was soon dead. followed three
hours later by his daughter.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-05-04
Harmonious PRINCIPLES.

The New York Sun has laid down
the following planks for Democracy,
which II denominates Harmonious
Principles"
/. Let the tariff be for revenue. II
will then be protective also.
III. Let the revenue tariff be the
only source Of revenue.
III. Let all internal taxes be abol
ished at once, except only the tax on
spirits.
w. Let the tax on spirits be re.
tanned only TO meet the necessity Of
means to pay arrearages Of pensions.
When these arrearages are provided
for the spirit tax be likewise abolish
ed, ...
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1883-07-26
PETERSBURG.

FUNERAL OF JAMES e. CUTKBkRT-THE SUIT
FOR DAMAGES AGAINST THE PETERSBURG
RAILROAD COMPANY-A C0L0RED MAN FOR
THE sENATE-REPORTED TO BE DYING, &C.
ICorrespondence Of the Richmond Dispatch.l
July %. 1888.
The remains OF the late James L. Cuth-
bert. whose death occurred at the resi-
dence Of his son-in-law, in BROOKLYN, last
Sunday, reached here this afternoon, and
were buried from st. PauPs church ut G
O'Clock. His death is regarded as great
calamity to that church.
The suit OF Il. Nj. IIitc for Si1 900 dam
ages against the Petersburg Railroad Com
pany occupied the time OF the Hastings
Court all day yesterday and up 20 a late
hour last night. At the conclusion OF the
evidence last evening instructions We're
asked by both the plaintiff and the defend
ant corporation, and these were argued at
length. The court this morning gave IN
structions on both sides, and at IL O'Clock
the argument was commenced. This suit,
though OF class frequent elsewhere, is
something new in this community and en-
cites much Interest. The facts, very briefly
stated, are these: On the night Of the 23d
OF April last Mr.. II. Nj. Hite, n dry
goods merchant, was driving home from his
place OF business on Sycamore street.
While crossing the company's tracks on
Union street, near Jrratt's Hotel, his
horse, it Is alleged, became frightened at
the blowing off Of steam from the shifting
engine, which was standing inside the
company's yard near that place. The ami
NAL ran away and Mr.. Hite was thrown
out upon the pavement; one OF the wheels
OF the vehicle passed over his body, and
he was painfully injured. He was con-
fined to his bed for some weeks, suffering
severely. He alleges negligence on the
part OF the company, and claims DAMAGES
lie says the engine was only few feet in.
side OF the yard, that he heard. no hell
rung by the fireman who was in charge n
the engine until after the acciden,
and that the noise caused bv the
escaping steam was enough to brighten a
man, much more horse. The company
deny the charge Of negligence; state that
Tie engine was 26 feet inside the yard and
oO feet from the middle OF the street: that
II had been standing idle there for some
hours; and that when IL was found neces-
sary to use II, ii was also necessary for the
safety OF the engine, as testified TO by ex-
perts, that the steam should first be blown
on; that the bell was rung as a signal to
persons passing In the street. and that due
care and caution were exercised to prevent
accident. The jury failed to agree-stand.
ing six Tor plaintiff and six for defendant.
work Is progressing somewhat slowly
on the Central Asylum building. in Din
widdie county. The stone-work has not
yet been completed, and until this Is done
the laying OF bricks cannot be commenced.
AT the late convention Of Coalltionists
IN Prince George county, which elected
delegates 70 the Senatorial Convention to
DC held In this city on the I'd OF August.
L. ID. Bland lcolored), and late member
81 the House Of Delegates, was endorsed
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1883-07-26
A Great Gun Finished.
AN IMMENSE MONSTER OF DESTRUCTION
BE SHIPPED TO SANDY HOOK.

AN IMMENSE MONSTER OF DESTRUCTION TIC
BE SHIPPED TO SANDY HOOK.
A Reading PENN telegram says: What
is designed 10 be the greatest improvement
in modern warfare, "The Lyman Haskell
Multicharge Gun" was finished at the
Scott Foundry Tuesday. 1t has been I'M.
dcrgoiug construction for over two wears,
and "Wednesday was shipped TO Sandy
Hook, where it will be tested in the pres.
ence OF leading officers OF the army and
navy OF the United States and TO-
reign countries. The last Congress
made a special appropriation for this
purpose. Since the invention OF the
cannon, four hundred years ago, they
have all been constructed on the same
principle OF placing the powder in the
breech, and the Lyman Haskell is the first
deviation. The gun contains four "pock-
cts" underneath, each OF which holds
twenty-eght pounds OF powder, while the
breech itself holds but eighteen pounds.
As the proiectlle starts from the breech the
force of this entire one hundred and thirty
pounds OF powder is concentrated on II.
one "pocket" after another rapidly dis.
charging its contents.
The gun is twenty-five feet long and
weighs twenty-five tons. 1t is rendered
doubly strong by steel lining, and, it is
thought, can hurl proiectile through a
solid piece OF iron twenty-four inches thick.
IL will shoot, 20 it is claimed, from twelve
to fifteen miles, and is intended for both
harbor and naval defence. The present
gun was manufactured at a cost of over
$4,000, and Mr.. Haskell has personally SUI
pervised its construction. The projectiles
with which it is loaded weigh from 100 to
$50 pounds.