Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1883-12-22

tempting morselS--even chewed his
victuals--offered him Mag. Snodgrass'
horse and cattle powders. called
them hog powders, but he would only
grunt--shake his head. and sternly re-
fuse. To add 10 his Internal stubborn'
ness he refused to lie down and sleep
and verify believe sat up or stood ur
for three days and nights, SO l thought
l would fix him up roost, and DOM
you know the pesky thing refused TO get
up on 1t. Now I would ask--what
would you do with such a hog ms that
He Is beginning to look somewhat ema,
ciated, and il he continues his fast, and
in his desire TO add to the annals ofhis'
tory and science, In six months hence
he will hardly cast shadow. | have
one consolation however that ii l can't
make pork Of him, can get my money
back by selling him to the Smithsonian
for an Egyptian mummy. He would
make an excellent one, for he Is as
black as the deUit. So much for my
flock OF swine.
l was in the village Of Darkesville a
Re " days ago, and spent several hours.
Some one will say--wEat was you do
ing there? Well, held an exhibition
there. Ideem Ii unnecessary to say
what exhibited for it might be that
what tried to show most was seen by
the fewest people, and that which
tried to conseaI was most visible. We
do not all see through the same medium,
and whilst was trying to show an ar
ticle Of value and usefulness, l no doubt
was highly complimonted for my Won
derful stock OF brass and Ignorance.
MY audience was scattered around
over the village. But some ladies were
f..f ~ haI fxNhinh
situated at the rear Of Tip Harley's
house, and sometimes called kitchen J
by the mellow tones of the instrument
used to impart interest, and melody
to the occasion. / was assisted by a
young lady from Illinois whose aptness
In her first efforts were highly commend
able, and won my esteem. l expected
more Anon to favor me with his
presence, but il he was there at all, he
was peeping through cracks as he did
at the fair last fall, which there was no
need Of as he had complimentary
ticket. My success was not SO replete
as had a right to expect. The fault
was my own-because did not insert
in my advertisement Of the "Magic
Washer, and the excellent certificates
from those ladies, what day ! would
wash there. Please ask your wife to
read what my neighbors say about 1t.
Another party Of huntsmen has just
returned from the mountains, among
whom was our worthy Countyman,
Mr.. VIM. Noll. The former party killed
two and chased sixteen out of the
mountain. / think that sixteen must
have returned to their lairs, and chased
the last party out, at least they looked
rather crestfallen, and did not blow q
bit--except that Mart Payne threw n
stone at one and would have struck
him had ii not been for the interven-
ing space. Mart has not the physical
power to heave missile 300 yards with
telling effect.
Christmas is coming as fast as tho
wheels oftime can carry it,. We will
have two Christmas trees and rain
bow; Presbyterian on Monday night,
the Methodist on the Thursday follow
ing, A happy time among the juyen-
lies is expected.
We were glad to hail our former Cit
izen and teacher Will Boyer, on last
Sabbath. VIII does not forget the old
trail--he looks well, and seems quite
lively. We expect several visitors,
ladies and gentleman during the holi-
days. l would be very happy TO enter
tain any of them at the poor house, pro-
vided they eat their breakfast at home,
bring their dinner with them, and 60
home TO supper. G. r. l..