The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-07
HORROR ON, HORRORS HEAD.


The telephone, as any one with even a cas-
ual acquaintance with that eccentric instru-
ment will testify, is a diabolical invention.
Originally introduced as q substitute for
messenger boys, each individual telephone
has proved to be productive of more angry
passions and violent profanity than could be
occasioned by a regiment of the most ex-
asperatlng lads. 1t is impossible to doubt
scious and inherent malevolence which is i'm
parted to a greater or less degree to all ami
mate and inanimate things associated with
it. Few are the persons who, after an init
mate acquaintance, regard it with anything
but distrust. They approach it with a feel
ing that they are about to lose their tempers,
and in nine cases out of ten the PRESENT.
ment is correct. Occasionally, of course, no
impeachment is offered to free conversation
with the individuals called up, connection
of wires is made promptly and voices are
distinctly heard, but these instances are apt
to occur when the communications are of
little importance. Such occasions only pro-
duce a false sense of security. 1t is when
information of consequence is desired, and
that without delay, that the innate deprav-
ity of the machine and its appurtenances
shows itself. 1t is then that the girl who
~manipulates the wires and has absorbed
thereby so much of their evil spirit as to be
positively-not Neutrality-suspicious., in
forms you in most exasperating and long
drawn-out tones that the person you want
lis talking now" Then you wait, and while
waiting your lips move, but not in prayer.
If you are a man you desire with great earn
estness to utter maledictions into the tin
ear of the telephone itself, but you cannot do
that, for the gentle being at the other end of
the line would hear, and would threaten to
have your instrument removed. Among
other evil influences is a fascination the con-
~trivance exerts over you. You hate it, but
you do not want it out of your sight; hence
you swear-if you are a man-under your
breath or at a safe distance. If you are a
woman you stamp YOU foot and wish you
were a man for a couple Of minutes. You
try again; again come the maddening words,
talking now.' Another period of medita-
ton and another trial. AT last you are in
communication with your friend. That is,
you hear him as through a stone wall. faint
ly; his voice is blurred; something is the
matter with the telephone. You know it is
an imp of darkness. Your friend does not
hear you, though you howl yourself black in
the face. As you draw back and glare at the
thing, the beating of your own heart is the
only sound you hear, except the echo of a
satanic laugh. You put on your hat, and go
to see your friend. This is the history,
hourly repeated, Of any telephone.
That the instrument is bad enough of it.
self, no one will deny; but some one, I'M
doubtedly depraved by long association with
it, has invented an attachment capable OF
far greater atrocities. 1t is nothing more nor
less than an arrangement whereby any one
who calls the exchange is exposed to the
view of an operator, and his photograph in
simultaneously taken. This scheme, it is
craftily said, is intended as a protection to the
company against the use of telephones by
non-subscribers, but this, of course, is only a
blind. 1t can be nothing else than a deep
laid plan to place the patrons OF the tele-
phone more deeply in its power. To head off
non-subscribers the exchange fiends must
necessarily have photographs of the
rightful patrons, which would include
the lessee of an instrument,
his wife or sweetheart, and all her relatives.