Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-04-19
SHERMAN'S SALUTATIOyS.
How Tecumsehs Peculiar Failing Led TO His
Being Entrapped in a Stage Curtain.

The return of Miss Alice Harrison to
the city recalls an incident of her career
when member of the famous Cali
fornia company four or five years ago,
which may still provoke smile from
those who Witnessed the occurrence in
question. About the time of Miss H. s
farewell benefit at the theater Gen.
sherman was visiting the city, and,
with his staff occupied box at said
performance. Now, whatever differ
ence OF opinion may exist as to the
military renown of the general of our
armies, there is no dispute as to his be-
ing the champion kisser of the CONT
nent. In fact, the hero of Atlanta NAV
be said to possess a mania for labial
salutations of a fatherly sort, and is
known to frequently indulge in the
proud boast that he has kissed 80 per
cent. of all the pretty girls in the United
States. His chief of staff once com
puted the generals monthly kissing
average, taken by and large all the
year round, dry and wet seasons in
cluded, at about 1,S06, or, say, in
round numbers, about $4,000 kisses
per each Kissing fiscal year. If the
general had only added babies to the
list of his subjects, he would have
kissed his way into the white house
years ago; but his reluctance to waste
valuable time and raw material in the
pursuit of his hobby induced him, with
the true instincts of veteran professor
of osculatlon, to select only the prettiest
of the sex for that honor.
AT the benefit referred to, no sooner
did Miss Harrison appear on the stage
than the old war-horse snuffed the
battle from afar and began to grow
restless and uneasy. The staff winked
at each other, and soon their chief sug-
gested the propriety of going behind the
scenes to compliment the beneficiary.
We must now ask our readers to ac-
company us to the little Danish settle
ment of Eericvland, on the borders of
the Baltic, il the year 1881 A village
festival is beng held, and as usual the
distinguished visitors gather to salute
the girl who has taken the annual prize
for cooking and virtue. There is
young American officer amid the num-
Der, who, instead of printing the Gus
tomary chaste salute upon the cheek of
the village celebrity, folds her in his
sky-blue arms and settles down on her
frontpiece like q hydraulic pump on an
assessment list The minutes fly by,
and just as the spectators are about
drawing their stop-watches on the
last quarter The young officer
comes to the surface again As he re-
covers his exhausted wind the weather.
beaten captain of awrecking crew APP
proaches and says:
Young man, rllgiye you your own
price to ship with me as diver
'sAnd why?"
Because you can hold your breath
longer than any man in the business"
We merely relate this little incident
to emphasize our story. The kisser
was young Tecumsah. But to resume.
As soon as the staff were behind the
scenes Gen. Sherman pitched in with
the remark that be hadn't kissed any
thing since breakfast. He was standing
in the middle of the stage, with his back
to the curtain, and absorbed in bestow-
ing paternal kiss upon Alice, and
feeling ike just-idmitted angel slid
ing down n buttered rainbow, when
that impish young lady saw that the
prompter was abolt to ring up the
drop" Quickly placing her hands
over the Generals ears so he could not
hear the bell, she backed him against
the curtain. AS every one knows this
is wound around huge wooden roller
on the inside of the canvass. The Gen
erals coat-tails were caught by this as
the curtain went up, and before the
prompter could reverse the motion the
astounded man was suspended about
ten feet from the stage like sheet from
q elothes-line.
The audience went of into Mysteries
of merriment, while the members of the
staff lay down ON the floor of their box
and absolutely hovled, for they only
knew that those corYulsively clutching
legs and venerable CATERS belonged to
the commander-in-cl of all our ar
mics. But the first thing we know the
Generals coat-tails will give way, and
we will ring down the curtain. San
Francisco Post