The true northerner., 1883-10-11
PEOPLE YOU KNOW.
And Sometimes Wish You Didn't-Male
and Female Cranks of n Mild Order.
from the Chicago Herald


And Sometimes Wish You Didn't-Maie
and Female Cranks of n Mild Order.
from the Chicago Herald.l
The man who apologizes-what a
bore! Thinks an apology settles all
accounts with his fellows. Carelessly
steps on a friends tender toes. Apollo
gizes and steps on them again. Walks
along crowded streets swinging his
cane against people and apologizing
right and left. Turns to apologize to II
man behind and runs into woman in
front More apologizing. Thinks he
is very polite. Never stops to consider
that if he were, the necessity for apology
would be removed. Would that he
might bow himself off the Government
pier or choke on his tiresome BEG
pardon, sir"
The woman who apologies. Fishing
for compliments. Dressed in her
newest and best she apologies for her
appearance. AT table apologies for
her poor biscuits. Oh, for somebody
strong enough to reply. well, L nave
eaten better" just to see her fly in a
rage and deny it. She will live long
The man who cannot wait. Makes
everybody nervous. In the barber
shop walks up and down in fdgety
manner if he has to wait for moment
for n barber After he is shaved stands
at the door half an hour wondering
where he will go to kill time. At the
bridge loses his patience and looks cross
at everybody. Finally gets across and
waits ten minutes to tell friend how
he dislikes to wait two. AT the railway
crossing says it is just his Internal luck
to have to wait for long train to pass
Sometimes runs to get across ahead of
the train, and, being across, stops to
see the train go by. Sometime he may
not run fast enough to get clear across.
Great is hope.
The man who looks back to swear at
q truckman who nearly runs into his
buggy. Truckman drives right along
about his business. Man keeps swear
ing and looking back at him. VIII not
fire engine please come down street
in front and knock him over block or
two.
Woman who primps. Disgustingly
reat. Everything in its place-except
the woman. She has dust rag in her
hand and is in everybody's way. Makes
you get up and let her dust the chair
you have sat on for an hour. Looks
completely disgusted at your dusty
boots. Never opens doors or shutters,
lest sunshine get in and fade the car
pet. Keeps windows Theoretically
sealed to shut out dust. Life. though
short, is also too long in certain cases.
Man who wraps so bill outside Il roll
Harmless, though.
Man who talks to himself on the
street. Not always crazy, not always
Chicago is plentifully supplied with
them. Sometimes he talks because his
mind is so engrossed in business he for
gets where he is. Sometimes he talks
to make people believe he has mind
and that it is engrossed. He would
like to be deemed much-absorbed
man. If the lake would only absorb
him.
The woman who washes on Monday
cannot think of doing her washing on
any other day. Postpones her hus-
bands funeral until Tuesday because
Monday is wash-day. Must have break
fast at Is to get the dishes out of the
way early, and give the day to the reg
ular order. Maybe this woman will
fall into a wash-tub some Monday
morning before anybody is mp to help
her out. While there's life there's
soap.
The man who cannot tell lie How
stupid Can't tell lie to entertain a
friend. Stick to the truth, no matter
how stale and uninteresting it may be.
Doesn't know that the right TO be de-
ceived is the most precious of all
human rights. Thinks it is sinful TO
violate truth and make people happy.
Must tell a sick man he is dying even
if it kills him. May he never hear
anything but truth. The curse is COM
plete.
The man who uses boOkmark.
Thinks he has read up to it. Does not
know that if he has read and not
merely skinned he would need no
mark to find where he left off. Does
not know what reading means.