davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19
THE BAD BOYS HuMoR.

II hear you had burglars over to your
house last night" said the grocery man
to the bad boy, as he came in and sat
on the counter right over little ginlet
hole, where the grocery man had liked
darning needle SO that by pulling
string the needle would fly up through
the hole and run into the boy about an
inch. The grocery man had been laying
for the boy for two days, and now that
he had got him right over the needle the
first time, it made him laugh to think
how he would make him jump and yell,
and as he edged off and got hold of the
string the boy sat still and looked uncon-
scious of impending danger. The gro
Gerry man pulled, and the boy sat still
He pulled again and again, and finally
the boy said:
''Yes, it is reported that we had bur
glars over there. Oh, you needn't pull
that string any more. l heard you was
setting trap for me, and put piece
of board inside my clothes, and thought
| would let you exercise yourself. Go
ahead, if it amuses you, it don't hurt
men
The grocery man looked sad, and then
smiled sickly sort of smile at the
failure of his plan to puncture the boy,
and then he said "What did your pa
drive you away from home for?"
80, it was on account of st. Patricks
day." said the bad boy as he bit off half
a pound of maple sugar and dried his
tears. "You see, pa never sees ma buy
a new silk handkerchief but he wants it.
| 'Tother day ma got one of these orange
colored handkerchiefs, and pa immedi-
atelv had sore throat, and he wanted
to wear it, and ma let him put it on. l
thought l would break him of taking
everything nice that ma got, SO when
| he went down town with the orange
handkerchief on his neck / told some
of the st. Patrick boys in the Third
Ward, who had green ribbons on, that
the old duffer that was putting on style
was an Orangeman, and he said he could
whip any st. Patrick's day man in town.
The fellows laid for pa, and when he
came along one of them threw a barrel
at pa, and another pulled the yellow
handkerchief off his neck, and they all
yelled ''hang him." and one grabbed a
rope that was ON the sidewalk where
they were moving a building, and pa got
up and busted. You'd dide to see pa
run. He met policeman and said
more'n hundred men had tried to muir
der him, and they had mauled him and
stolen his yellow handkerchief. The
policeman told pa his life was not safe,
and he better go home and lock himself
in, and he did, and I was telling ma
about how I got the boys to scare pa,
and he heard it, and he told me that
settled it. He said had caused him to
run more foot races than any champion
pedestrian, and has made his life nisera-
BILE, and now must go it alone. Now
I want you to send a couple of pounds
of crackers over to the house, and have
your boy tell the hired girl that l have
gone down to the river to drown myself
and she will tell ma, and ma will tell pa
and pretty soon you will see bald
headed, pussy man whooping it uI
towards the river with rope. They
may think, at times, that | am a little
tough, but when it comes to parting
forever they weaken. "-Peck's San.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19

The right hand of fellowship: A col
ored preacher over in Chicago changed
his location, and a certain Sunday was
fellowship. Just before the completion
of the ceremony, a row was inaugurated
among the parishioners, and the would
be pastor of the tumultuous church re-
ceived left-hander from a brother, that
knocked him out of the pulpit and half
way down the aisle A friend meeting
him the next day inquired if he received
the right hand of fellowship. "Well,
not prezactly," answered the dusky di-
vine ''Hit seemed to dis niger mo-
like de left hand oh enmity."
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19
NO. 1884
WOMAN'S LOVE.

The Easton Free Press exclaims: Come
to the bridal chamber, death; come to
the mother when she feels for the first
time her first-born's breath; come in
consumption's CHASTITY form. the earth
quake's shock, the oceans storm, but, If
you can help it, please do not come
again in the same horrible shape as on
the occasion of which we write. 1t is a
story too full of woe to breathe on this
beautiful day; but duty leaves no knot
hole through which the tender-hearted
reporter may escape.
Young Radspinner and Lillian Deusen-
bury had long been lovers. They were
engaged The day was set, and waiting
for the day to come, time moved as slow
ly as an accommodation train on west
ern railroad. Yesterday evening just
week before the time fixed for the nup-
tials, young Radspinner and Lillian were
strolling up and down the railroad track
as happy as could be. Lillian wore her
wine colored silk, and her proud lover
had told her hundred times that it
made her look sweet enough to drink.
A tender speech was interrupted by the
appalling shrek of a steam whistle just
around the curve The limited mail was
coming at the rate of sixty-five miles an
hour There was not moment to lose.
Young Radspinner caught the arm of
his betrothed and attempted to drag her
from the track. Her dress caught on
spike and held her back. She tried to
kick it loose; she screamed and kicked
thrice, but the spike would not let go.
The train was coming down upon them
like demon. They almost felt its hot
breath upon their cheeks Young Rad
spinner bent over and seized the folds
of the handsome dress in his hand, in
tending to rip it from the spike and res
cue from death the one fair woman be-
meath the sun. She stopped him with
cry of alarm:
Don't tear my dress!'
| 'sYou must be released from thisn he
yelled: 1.-The train is upon usr'
Its my wine-colored silk; l wouldn't
| have it torn for the world"
His love for her arose above anything
| else, ana, reucWlHS LIS Holu upOA eiie
garment; he exclaimed:
Darn your wine-colored silk"
Don't you dare to tear it!' she cried,
endeavoring to open his grasp.
The locomotive screamed again right
in their ears. The brave girl pushed her
lover off the track, and shouted above
the rattle of the train:
Leave me, George-leave me and save
yourself. had hoped to live for you,
for love you devotedly, and I'm sure
we would have been very, very happy;
but would die thousand deaths rather
than tear my wine-colored-"
The locomotive struck her amidships
and strung her along the track for
mile and a half. George hunted and
hunted until his eyes grew weary, but
he could not find enough of the wine
colored silk to make him a necktie.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19

1t is estimated that there are five times
as many kinds of insects as there are
species of all other living things put to-
gether. The oak alone gives shelter and
support to 450 species of insects, and 200
kinds make their home in pine trees. In
1849, Alexander Won Humboldt estimated
that the number of species preserved in
collections was between $50, 900 and no.,
600, but scientific men now say that
there must be something like 100000
species
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19
WARM MILK AS A HEALTH RE
STORER.

Considerable has lately been said in
medical journals concerning the value of
warm milk as remedial agent in certain
diseases. The Christian at Work, refer
ring to an interesting article on this sub
ject which lately appeared in the London
Matk Journal, states on the authority of
DIR. Benjamin Clarke, that in the East
Indies warm milk is used to great ex-
tent as a specific for diarrhna A pint
every four hours will check the most
violent diarrh9a, stomachache, incipient
cholera and dysentery. The milk should
never be boiled, but only heated suffi-
GENTLY to be agreeably warm, not too
hot to drink. Milk which has been boiled
is unfit Cor use. This writer gives several
instances in arresting the disease, among
which is the following:
The writer says, lit has never failed in
curing in six or twelve hours, and have
tried it, should think, fifty times. l
have also given it to a dying man who
bad been subject to dysentery eight
months, latterly accompanied by one
like charm. In two days his diarrh9a
was gone; in three weeks he became
i hale, hearty man; aud now nothing that
may hereafter occur will shake his faith
in hot milk. A writer has also commun-
icated to the Medical Times and Gazette a
statement of the value of milk in twenty
six cases of typhoid fever, in every one
of which its great value was apparent.
1t checks diarrhaa, and nourishes and
cools the body. People suffering from
disease need food quite as much as those
in health, and much more SO in certain
diseases where there is a rapid waste of
the system. Frequently all ordinary
food, in certain diseases, is rejected by
the stomach, and even loathed by the
patient, but nature, ever benefcent, has
furnished food that in all diseases is
enefcial-some directly curative. Such
food is milk" The writer in the journal
last quoted, DIR. Alexander Yale, after
giving particular observation upon the
point above mentioned, its action in
checking diarrhpa, its nourishing prop
critics, and its action in soothing the body
says: I'VE believe that milk nourishes
in fever, promotes sleep, wards off de
lirium, soothes the intestines, and, in
fine, is the sine qata non in typhoid fever.
We have lately tested the value of milk
in scarlet fever, and learn that it is now
recommended by the medical faculty in
all cases of this very often distressing
children's disease Give all the milk the
patient will take, even during the period
ofgreatest fever. Itkeeps up the strength
of the patient, acts well upon the stomach
and is in this way blessed thing in this
sickness.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19

A man was quietly munching on
piece of pie in saloon on Friday morn
ing, when a look of distress suddenly
displaced the serene expression on his
face. Taking something from between
his teeth, and looking at 1T, he cried to
the waiter, "Here, you, there's stone
1 found in this pie" The waiter took it,
glanced at it critically, and, handing it
back, briefly replied, Its no good to us;
YOU can have ."-Danbmy Neacs.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19

A Ayoung man always wants SO see him
self as others see him; and doing so he
will find that his ears never seem so big
as they do in spring time after he has
had his hair cut for warm weather.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19
STAGE LINE.
MILLVILLE & BRIDGETON

WINTER ARRANGEMENTS.
This line of stages will run as follows:
Leave Milville at $40 a. M, upon the arrival of
the train from Cape May), and at 8 p. m.
Leave Bridgeton at 100 a. m. and 800 p. M, Din
time to connect with the morning and evening
trains for Cape May1 Fare, SO cents.
j. W. PANCOAST,
/. "A. DUBOIS,
Proprietors and Drivers.
B.-Passengers on the Port Norris Railroad
wishing to connect with the stage in the afternoon
will stop off at the East BridgetOn Station.
dec 23-tf
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19
Vick's Floral Guide

For 1883, is an Elegant Book of 15Opages. coored
loco Illustrations of the choicest Flowers Plants
and Vegetables, and directions for growing. 1t Is
handsome enough for the Center Table or Holi-
day present Send on your name and Post Office
address, with 10 cents, and will send you copy,
postage paid. This is not quarter OF its cost 1t
afterwards order seeds, deduct the 10 cents.
Vick's Seeds are the Best in the World
The FLORAL GUIDE will tell how to get and grow
them.
VICK's FLOWER AND VEGETABLE GARDEN, 175
pages 6 colored plates, 500 engravings. For 5e
cents in paper covers; $1.0 in elegant cloth. In
German or English.
VICK'S ILLUSTRATED MONTHLY MAGAZINES
pages, a colored plate in every number, and many
fine engravings. Price $1.25 year; five copies
for SIS. Specimen numbers sent for 10 cents: Z
trial copies for 25 cents.
JAMES WICK,
ROCHESTER, N. Y.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19

Never sit without coat at an open
window when heated" 1t has been sci
entifcally determined that there is no.
thing more absolutely dangerous than
a heated open window.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19

A prize fighter should be paid in Eng
lish money. The pounds are symbolic
of his profession.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19

A great bridge is under construction
for the Sioux City and Pacific Railroad
across the Missouri River, twenty miles
north of Council Bluffs, la. The piers
are of iron, filed with concrete masonry,
and the superstructure is also Of iron,
The bridge will be 1000 feet in length,
and cost nearly $1,0O0,000.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19

In these days it should be changed
around so as to read, ''Where there's a
will there's way to break it.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19

An old darkey went into an Austin
drug store with his head bandaged up
and groaning as if every bone in his body
was broken.
'What's the matter?'' asked the drug
clerk.
''We've had the berry debil of a time,
me an de ole woman, battering each
udder wild de chairs and sich."
''Well, what do you want?n
''Me needs some anarchy. Oar amt
no anarchy in de house. De bottle got
smashed in de fuss, and de anarchy
spilled all ober de floor
IF you had more harmony in your
house there would be less anarchy re-
marked the drug clerk, smiling, as he
filed small bottle with arnica.
"You am right, boss. OATS just what
de fuss was about De reason We needs
anarchy is bekase dar was no hominy in
de house, and dats why de ole woman
hit me wild de chair"
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19

No matter how large the amount, gas
bills are always light ones.
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19

When man loses his balance, where
does it go?
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19

ACKNOWLEDGED HIS SIGNATURE.-A
man from a neighboring town wished
one of our banks to take his note a short
time ago The directors said they would
cash his note if his brother would en-
dorse it. The next day in came the man
with his brothers signature ON the note.
The bank took it and paid the money.
When the note came due the signer did
not pay it, and the bank notified the
brother. The gentleman came into the
counting room in amazement, and asked,
what have you against me?"
Didn't you indorse note for your
brother?" asked the cashier.
Not that l know Of" replied the
man.
Isn't this your signature?" demand
ed the bank official, producing note.
The man looked at his name written
on the paper, and rubbed his eyes.
YES" said he, "that's my signature
sure; but / should think he might have
allowed me to write it,
West-Jersey pioneer., 1883-04-19

An Indian chief told the following story
to Sam Houston, accounting for the
origin of the name of Texas: When the
Spaniards overran Mexico, party of
red men fled to the northward, crossed
the Rio Grande, and entered the great
salt marshes. Here they travelled day
after day, until, without food or water,
they were utterly exhausted, and when
upon the point of lying down in despair,
came upon bluff overlooking the Colo
RADIO. The stream was clear and beauti-
full, beyond were green meadows dotted
with trees. and the savages in their JOY
cried out, "Tehas Tehasr This word
meant Paradise" the pronunciation
became changed to Texas" and SO we
have the name of the great State.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-12-20
To all whom itmay Concern

OFFICE or THE COLUMBIA AND PUGET
SOUND RAILROAD COMPANY,
SEATTLx, w. r.. July q. 1883 J
VNHEREAS, BY DEED BEARING
w data August n l673 executed In pur.
suance Of IN ordinance approved August
Is, 1874 the city Of Seattle conveyed tothe
Seattle and WHlla Walla Railroad and
lands south OF King street. In said city OF
Seattle. in. along. around and about Elliot
bay, from extreme high 70 extreme low
tide and deep water and,
Where's. The legislative Assembly Of
the Territory Of Waohington. by an Act
approved Sovembee q 1S74 ratified and
confirmed mid grant and conveyance upon
certain conditions which have been fully
performed hy caid Company; and
Assembly vested the title Of said lands in
aid Seattle and Walla Walla RAilSoad
and Transportatioa Company. IN Tee SIM
where's. Tho United States has acqui-
esced in said grant and conveyance; and,
Wherea.. The said Seaetle and Wa!a
aid lands 70 the Columbia and Puget
Now. therefore, he aid Columbia and
Pueef euund Railroad Company hereby
Rive, notice that it claims the exclusive
fiaht 70 occupy aid lands and 70 erect
wharveo and other structures thereon.
aAd that al persons are hereby noeined 70
say I a. ia 'Si isn1s Without the consent IN
Tstine. Of oaid Columbia and Puget
esSnG cSnGssiH siaIlcsaP { aPSGSoaRTsoUNDRR Roo
EfP. Wss.oS.s' zo:sns sup.r,....aen.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-12-20

@. KELLOGG q Co. have tho anses a.
sortment Of CATisemae RoodA Don't
forget 10 remember t0at. tim
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-12-20

n eaachsaAsd Grown OyitnAR, yo1x
ual ana othee luheiaaAtna - = WaDe
. Cnmpbo1rR
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-12-20

For lame back. side o. ohsst. uss 6hi-
loh's Porous PlAseoe. Price, . cents.
A. b. HtevaYt, dYuQgist.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-12-20

Astsntion! every one. Have y0u beard
Of KendAlrs SPAWN Cure! See sdvsr-
tisement.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-12-20

Lots cheaper than they VIII ever b
again, at tho once Of @. G. Poinney 4
Co. Buy Q los On jackson street for
your youngest boy. 10 viii b worth
more 70 him than ten thousand dollars
In ave yeAfs. II
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-12-20
CLEARING.

TWO BLOCKS TO BE CLEARED.
i Lots given In payment. Apply to
WIN. d. WOOD,
no3O Il Room S, Post Building.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-12-20

THAT HACKING COUGH can be
quickly cured by Shiloh's cure. We
guarantee il. A. B. Stevavt. druggist.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-12-20

4'6 COUGH and Coasur,p-
- q = q : snasantss.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-12-20


Messrs L. r. Smith 4 Son have -
cured the services of Mr.. George g.
White, Who is thorough 'enRraver in
all its branches, and Who 10 executing
some fine work in that establishment.
Mr.. White took the highest award for
engraving at the Portland Mechanics
Fair in 1882, and has first prize medal
from that society attestin0 his skill.
Mr.. White has worked at his line Of
business in most Of the leading estsb-
lishments on the coast, as the following
letters will show:
PORTLAND, Ogn., Dec. /.
To whom it may concern This is to
certify that the bearer, George G..
White. is a thorough decorator on
porcelain, silk, satin and leather goods,
and thorough engrarer in all its
branches. II. A1xKRMAN d Co.
SAN FRASClsCO. May 81. 1888.
To whoan it may concern We take
pleasure in recommending the bearer.
Mr.. George G. White, t. any Who may
desire his services, as a FIRST class en-
grdrer H all its branches. He has done
work for us during the past two years,
and has invariably given satisfaction.
Respectfully,
AcKERMAN BROs.,
HAgKY d LANCASTER,
j. C. BLACKMAN,
dl2 FLANAGAN l. GALLAGHER.
For waches. klox. silver plated wear,
and 80 forth, 60 to H. G. Mclaughlin.
("Little Mack. the jewellery The best
and only stock Of fine goods in the city.
Also, some that amt 90 fino.
WARNNo.-As Christmas draws near
do not forget that tho Model Drug Store
10 the place to buy your Christmas pres
ents, and that all are entitled to ticket
for our grand prize.
A n
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-12-20

03ARRH CURED, health and sweet
oocured BY Ghiloh's CAtaSrh Rem
stses 80 csnts. Nasal Injector free.
ulsuart, druggist.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-12-20

SPECIALS FOR TbE NEXT ten DAYS.
We have just received. direct from Chicago, large
consignment Of the following articles, which offer
to the public 33 l3 per cent cheaper than any other
house In Washington Territory:
600 dozen British Hose. two pair for - cents.
zoo dozen Mems MerfnO Shirts and Drawers, for 10
cents per suit.
100 dozen Overalls (bOsS or the road, 65 cents.
800 dozen Mems CheviOt Shirts, with Cuff and Col.
lars, 65 cents.
500 dozen Linen Handkerchicfs, q cents per dOzen
500 dozen Shaker Socks Aken's brand, 12 l2 cents
per pair.
300 dozen Mems Ironclad Pants. q cents pair.
s. dozen BlanketL'ned Overalls, 4l.25 per pair.
80 dozen Silk Handkerchiefs, 50 cents per pair.
% dozen Canton Flannel Shirts and Drawers, 80
cents per suit.
60 dozen Merine and Scotch mixed Drawers 30 cents
per Suit.
And good many other Goods too numerous to men
tiOn.
Patrenize opposition for II Is for your welfare
We have also opened the ane.t line Of Underwear
and Neckwear brought to Seattle at prices never
vet equaled. I'm the line Of
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-12-20

II you want laborsrs. mechanics,
cooks. steamer or vessel crews, mill or
logging camp hands, oall or addrsas a.
We make no charges. Washington
Territory Employment Bureau, Wash
ingtou street. next 10 Police Court p.
q. box 682. Is In
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-12-20

sWhat we want" said q man inter
ulsd in that read, is management
1T viii regain the confidence Of the
uopie. We want the read managed
eoooomically, aud at the same time 81
noioasly. Fourth Of July celebrations
~ all right in their place, but they
dont hslp along q great railroad enter
~. The public has become suspi-'
dcus Of Northern Pacific securities. and
\ order 70 restore confidence there
nuni b q change Of policy aud ohanRe
a rnhaaOanont0
The Fremont County record. [volume] (Canon City, Colo.) 1877-18??, 1883-07-07
DECENT JoUnNNLrsu.

A correspondent in last weeks Denver
Intcr-Occan calls attention to the vicious
ness of the journalism of the day and con-
cludcs hy telling the kind Of !. paper he
wants. His description of his idea of n
newspaper is such u complete photograph
Of the RECORD that If We knew his address
We would mail him a copy. lie says:
am seeking 10 lud u newspaper that
will give me such news rs is OF interest
not all the crimes, drnnks, scandals, sui
cdcs and accidents that have occurrcd all
over the world. | want paper such as
viii mpart useful knowledge, and the
columns of which, from one end to the
other, ] would not he ashamed TO read
aloud in the presence of my wife aud chill
drcn. ! want n paper whose editor will
not publish as news anything whatsoever
that he or she knows TO he untrue; whose
proprietor would dismiss tho editor for
publishing fillschood TO Deceive the public
rs soon rs for telling lies to deceive him or
her ] want paper that will not publish
n slnndcr knowing IL to he such; . papcr
that, If it unwittingly has Injured the good
name of any one, will make haste to make
the dmcndc honorable instead of persis,inu
ia the outrage TO maintain its pretended
consistency.
i want "A paper, in other words, that
VIII not outrage the moral sense; that will
prefer truth To sensation; that will prefer
Justice 'e pretondcd consistency; that will
not teach vice and vulgarity, either by its
editorials It's news items or It's advertise
ments DO yon know Of such paper 2
Docs any preacher of Iishtcousness in Colo
rado know Of such a iournnlY Does npy-
body know where can find IN, nan,r
mantY ifso, let its name 10 published in
all the papers in all the pulplts, from all
OF the honsetops in Colorado; for II will
mark a safer ora in our social life. II will
-certainly be u fortune to its worthy, honor
able, honest truthful, virtuous and hene
VIOLENT proprietor II will mean reliable
news clean literature, candid opinions. II
VIII mean freedom from, personal abuse. Il
VIII DO paper that we can put into the
hapds OF children, and BOT fear the.resui,.' -