davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1883-12-22

without him. Her father refused his
consent unless Sheridan could settle
fifteen thousand pounds upon her;
and. in his usual miraculous way, he
found the money.
Those who have read George Eliot's
ssFelix Holt" will remember how Felix,
though himself rough, unpublished
workman, gained the love of a refined
and delicately reared young lady, not
by fiattering, or even attempting to
please and crafty her, but by Gliding,
depreciating and almost despising her
because she read Byron and knew moth
ing of the heavy mental pabulum on
which he was won't to feed. She at first
was dreadfully vexed and offended; but
by-and-by she came to believe that Felix
had grand moral ideal, beside which
her own was frivolous and insignificant;
and striving to emulate his exalted
motives and views of life she made him
her beau ideal, with, of course, the usual
result. In theory, or in a novel, this
is no doubt all very fine; but in every
day life the mode of procedure adopted
by Felix Holt would be, to say the least,
decidedly risky, and would very prob
ably end disastrously. 1t is always
safer to risk little flattery.
"Happy is the wooing
That is not long doing"
says the old couplet; but modern
counselor thinks it necessary to qualify
the adage by the advice: "Never
marry girl unless you have known her
three days, and at picnic" In this,
as in other matters, it is always desira-
BILE to hit the happy medium. Marry
ing in haste is certainly worse than q
too protracted courtship; though the
latter has its dangers, too, for some
thing may occur at any time to break
off the affair altogether, and prevent
what might have been a happy union.
1t may always be concluded there is a
screw loose somewhere If Matilda is
overheard to say to her Theodore, as
they steam up the river with the ex-
cursion: "Don't sit SO far away from
me, dear, and turn your back on me so;
people will think we're married"
A friend of Robert Hall, the famous
English preacher, once asked him re-
garding a lady of their acquaintance:
twill she make good wife for mer"
"Well," replied Mr.. Hall, II can
hardly say-I never lived with hertz
Here Mr.. Hall touched the real test Of
happiness in married life. 1t is one
thing to see ladies on "dress" occa-
sions and when every effort is being
made to please them; it is quite an
other thing to see them amidst the
varied and often conflicting circum-
stances of household Chambers
Journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1883-12-22
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

--Monsignor Capel calls newspaper
interviewers intellectual mosquitoes. 7"
ny. San.
The New York World says Van
derbilt is an accidental millionaire. -
Please send us at once explicit direc-
tons as to where the accident occurred
and the time the first train leaves for
the place. II Philadelphia Ne,0s.
"A newly married lady was telling
another how nicely her husband could
write 20, you should just see some
of his love letters "Yes, l know"
was the freezing reply; ''I'ye got q
hushcl of 'em in my trunk" Tableau.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
If you are particularly anxious to
abuse man, don't call him fool, he
might be annoyed; don't call him
rascal, he might knock you down;
quietly remark. with heavenly smile:
'sSir, you present fine, large margin
for improvement. ~ Boston Transcript.
The New York Post, in speaking OF
the play. says: 1.-The golden threads
Of shivering poverty, which run unseen
through the black sands of sinful life,
have been woven into wool of pa
thetic beauty in the play of the Two
Orphans. !" Jimmy, cranky, gracious!
The critic that can write like that ought
to get at least seven dollars week,
and be worth it. Boston Post.
Should Sell Well-There was an
old man working New Street the other
day with inks, and he entered one Of
fee with the remark: Have you .
friend who hes sold corn for December
or January delivery?" Eyes, three or
four Of them" was the reply. "And
you have more or less correspondence
with thesn?'' II do ssThen buy
bottle Of my ink" s.Ink! inki Why l
have quarts of it." eyes, but you
want bottle of my sympathetic ink, -.
said the old man as he INDUCED in a
long squirt. = Wall Street News.
"A Mournful Renection-A Texas
man was left $4,000 by the death of an
uncle in New York. He drank deeply.
and went through the property in two
months. While engaged in. the COM
pletion Of one of the Texas railroads
he received notice that he had again
fallen heir, this time to %, 900. "Allow,
me to congratulate you," said one Of
his fellow workmen. ''Congratulate
nothing" said the man dismallv: SIT
looks very much a. though there was
some kind Of plot on foot to kill me-
on. "-Tsras Sitinas.
Puzzles to Foreigners-We are not
surprised when foreigners ten us that
they find 1t hard to learn our language.
Take, for instance, the word fast. The
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1883-12-22
DEFEAT

by bitter pilgrimage he sought to win
Those far dim towers that he would roam
80 within.
Through paths of peril. loud with dyins
Down chasms of failure, white with human
bones,
Past brakes of treachery, whence the tiger
sprung.
stung,
His eager feet pressed onward to attain
The Turing bourn of that desired domain
And there at last, worn fugitive of fate,
He clutched the mighty clarion at the gate.
moment more, and while its proud peal rose
The towers would rock, the portals would
unclose-
But then, even then, by some foredoom pro-
found,
He dropped dead ere his lips had walked one
sound
Edgar Faucet, In Harp@'s Magazine.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1883-12-22

The Russian InUalides gives an &C.
count of an ancient conservative cere-
mony of the Cossacks-a kind of troop
ing and benediction of their colors OBJ
served annually at Novotcherkask, at
the beginning Of September. All the
old flags, banners and Cossack regalia,
preceded by the Hetman's baton and
headed by the present Ataman's locum
tenens, the Hetman being the heir ap-
parent, carrying the battle-ax of the
time of Catherine H.. borne with
great pomp and circumstance to the ca
thedral, and back again to the Govern
ment house. The account does not
state whether the original standard of
Yermark Timofeiff, the Cossack con-
vueror of Siberia, which the Governor
General of Omsk and the steppes is
said to have only recently discovered,
was carried in the procession.
This old trophy was some time ago
brought to st. Petersburg to be shown
to the Emperor. 1t has been diligent-
ly sought after for years past, and on
the three hundredth anniversary of the
conquest of Siberia, which took place
in December last, it was absolutely nee
essary that it should be found, and 70
it was. 1t may be mentioned that the
recent establishment of cadet corps
and school at Novotcherkask for the
education of Cossack officers is one of
the many innovations that are gradual
", though imperceptibly, turning the
Cossack hordes and sotnias into regu-
lar troops of the line, and destroying
the peculiarities and semi-independ-
ence of the civil and military organi-
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1883-12-22

Henry Stewart, who, with his son,
has tried hermit's life in Kingsbury,
N. T., for many years, blew his head
of few days ago and left about $780,
900 to his co-hermit SOM y NcUs.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1883-12-22

Despite frequent eggings, the Nor
mon Missionaries in the Southern
States continue at their work. They
have their headquarters at Chatta-
nooga.-C Chicago Herald.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1883-12-22

Many . woman who does not know
even the multiplication table can Zig
ure'' IN society.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1883-12-22

Lord Chief-Justice Celeridgs ssys
the Hudsos is the most beautiful river
in the world. Troy (N. ~ Tusss.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1883-12-22

AT Mansfield, O., Mr1. Alanson
Allen. . wealthy widow whose husband
died by an accidental fall few weeks
ego, told friend that her feur brothers
had committed sulsidss and shethoQeht
she would do it herself; aud in The
evening she did Il -Gapela1s keodW.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1883-12-22
Mrs. Lucy E. Phillips, Of Rochest

recently observed . large hen-hawk
take one Of her flock in its talons and
endeavor to fy of with it. In her at
tempt to rescue the hen the bird made
an assault upon her, tearing her clothes
and badly decorating her face and hands.
Mrs. Phillips finally succeededin killing
the bird with . blow from stake. It
measured. with wings extended. six
feet four inches, the largest IT its species
ever seen in that vicinity. -Dctroit Post
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1883-12-22

Touching this same subject of fiat
terry. lady was asked on one occasion
why plain girls often get married sooner
than handsome ones; to which she re-
piled that it was owing mainly to the
tact of the plain girls, and the vanity
and want of tact on the part Of the men.
"How do you make that out" asked
a gentleman. I'm this way," answered
the lady. s'The plain girls flatter the
men, and so please their vanity; while
the handsome ones wait to be fiattered
by the men, who haven't the tact to do
il" There have been cases, however,
in which the situation presented here
has been reversed, and plain, even ugly
men have succeeded in making them
selves so agreeable to young ladies as
to become their accepted suitors. Here
is case in point. When Sheridan
first met his second wife. who was then
q Miss Ogle, years of dissipation had
sadly disfigured bis once handsome
features. and only his brilliant ewes
were left to redeem a nose and cheeks
too purple in hue for beauty. .What
q fright" exclaimed Miss Ogle, loud
enough for him to hear. Instead of be-
ing annoyed at the remark, Sheridan
at once engaged her in conversation,
put forth all his powers of fascination,
and resolved to make her not only re-
verse her opinion. but actually fall in
love with him. At their second meet
ing she thought him ugly, but certainly
fascinating. A week or two afterwards
he had so far succeeded in his design
that she declared she could not live
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-09-13
The New Mode Of vaccination.

The British Medical Association has
lately had under notice DR.. Moor's new
method Of vaccination. His plan 10 70
make with perfectly clean sharp lancet.
ave or six single soariacations, holding
the lancet - . pen is held. resting Sc
curely but gently on the arm OF the per.
son operated on, which 10 held with the
left hand. Thus performed, the opera.
ton is said to occupy scarcely two SEQ.
onds, and when done lightly. but sum.
GENTLY, docs not waken a slee ping infant
nor cause child TO cry. provided the At
tention DO diverted BY gently stroking
tho arm, or otherwise engaging the atten-
ton. Tho lymph from the arm Of an
other child. preserved in tubes or ON
points. Is then gently rubbed With she
Nat Of the lancet or charged points scross
tbs little wound, which may be made BY
slight traction Of the adjacent skin. Ihe
result Of this mode Of operation u found
10 BE- ono or moro, usually two. separate
vssiclss or an oblong compound. one s&I
the site Of each pair 81 soratohes, and one
ct The ate Of Ne single seraAch, or more
II six were mads In ell, or II they ~ere
made longer than usual. Il u neiehoe
necessary nor desirable ~ Ne ineisicns
b nads u Ill dssp.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-09-13
A 4lSs,OOO Game Of Poker.

ut was on my trip to Pittsburg, MP
the Ohio, that played my last game Of
cards." said Col. Dan Rice. ''It was in
40 on board the steamer Revolution, and
! have never turned card for pleasure
or profit since. I don't think ever told
this circumstance before. / used to be
terribly fond OF poker. 1t was a great
game in the old days. and is yet, /
guess. had about $500, 900 in
money and property, and l owned
tho steamboat on which we we're travel
ing. My ring master, Canada Bill, the
famous gambler who died in Reading,
Pa, couple Of years ago, young
blood from Wheeling and myself consti.
tuted the party at poker that night.
When We quit was $l82, 900 ahead"
You must have held some remarkable
hands during the game. Colonel" sug.
gested the reporter.
was had moro money than they. They
put mp their watches and diamonds, and,
my wife was nearly crazy, for she never
knew played cards. gave them their
jewelry back but kept the cash. Canada
Bill lost $i0O, 900, and the Wheeling
chap lost about 90, 600. Canada Bill
was notorious gambler. and played high,
but that was the biggest game he ever
played, guess. Pettybone. the poker
king, rs they call him, taught me how 70
play cards. From that night on 10 this
day have never played game Of cards.
-Pittsburg Dispatch.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-09-13
Had and Would.

The colloqulal use OF the same con.
traction I'd, for had and would has
been extended imperceptibly into writ.
ing and printing, with results that
threaten to supercede would altogether,
and replace it more improperly by had.
Some of our ablest writer's have fallen
into this inellegancy, or allowing their
printers to do sO--among others Mr..
Thackeray, who says in the Virgin
ians, 81 had rather had lost an arm"
instead OF II would rather have lost an
ARM" and Mr.. Carlyle, who has IA doom
for Quebec (the negro) which 1 bad
rather not contemplate, instead Of
would rather not" Instances of this
unnecessary corruption of the word are
to be found 80 far back a. the days OF
Shakespeare and century later in the
usually we'll written and classical pages
of the Tat,ler and Spectator. When had
is followed by that word better, as in
the phrase, lyon had BETTER" it 10 an
improper substitute for would. though
.you had better do so and So" has the
advantage Of being more laconic than
the synonymous phrase, 1T would be
better if You would do 90" Whom had
il followed by have, its use is still more
ungrammatical. Thus. when the Times
Of March IL, 1870. says. "Sir Wilfrsd
Lawson had better have kept N his orig.
inal proposal" So also the Spectator
of March 2. 1879, when il wrote. 1.-THE
motion had better be Withdrawn" was
guilty Of . permissible colloquiolism,
was dramatically incorrect, and should
have written, 1T would be better If the
motion were withdrawn" In like man
ner the Examiner fell in the prevalent
carelessness when il wrote March 2,lS79,
III the University Of London. sfter an
existence Of thirty years cannot produce
competent man, il had better cease to
exist"
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-09-13
Produce Wagon and Coal Cart.


A wild-eyed but pleasant looking
young man with bucolic aspect and big
feet presided over the destinies of pro-
duce wagon that moved clumsily down
Warren street yesterday. 1t was drawn
by team of morose looking horses
whose heads hung nearly to the ground.
They almost stepped on their noses, and
created the impression that they were
scenting for gas leaks. But the Wild
eyed man sat erect, with his face toward
the west and evidently shifting the air Of
New Jersey from afar. He knew he
wanted to get to the further shore, but
was totally unable to locate the ferries.
When about half block from b nd
way he stopped his team by well.nigh
imperceptible twitch at the reins and Q
soft whoa" and for moment sank his
head in thought. Then voice was lift
ed from the rear.
"Phat, DEE want the cntoiro metropo-
lisp"
It was the voice OF coal cart driver,
and tho voice was husky with emotion.
Coon back to Pam-rap.po, 70 Jersey
skid
The countryman turned around in his
scot, held his breath till his eyes bulged
and then said with great originality
"Ah, pull down your vest"
"Git out, ye cross eyed bung starter,
Oi'll cum up there and jump on yes
chest"
Upon this the rural delegate stuck out
his tongue in derision at tho coal cart
driver, and jerking the lines violently,
yelled "Yerp therel''
The dismal looking horses, who had
apparently found leak and been ssupe-
fled by the gas, were awakened from
their comatose condition in the course Of
time. aad lifting their feet languidly
started forward. When the driver from
the suburbs came to the corner he
turned southwark and thus committed
an awful blunder, for he drove his team
into Church street. Within ten minutes
nearly all the north bound street car
travel on the west side of New York was
blocked; there were half dozen car
drivers around the produce wagon, and
the countryman was reduced to blank
despair. His wagon was firmly wedged
across the street, with all the cars and
car drivers urging it northw ward, but its
progress was effsctually barred in that
direction by the driver of the coal cart,
Then burly policeman sauntered mp,
and looking at the driver of the coal
cart for moment, cried loudly:
"Move on there, you tarrier."
"Phat fur?"
"To clear the way"
"Ciear the way yourself"
Then the policeman seized the horse
by the bit and yaaked the cart out Of
the way. This was followed by a similar
service to the countryman, and the Jam
was broken.
"Come an see me some time, Pam
rappo?"
"Oh, if I ever ketch you," cried the
countryman. "I'll come and see"
"Yaas. do. bung-starter, do. Oh 1.-Two
in the East river. Drop in amy tonne.
Tn-ta."
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-09-13
NOT KNOWING,

know not what Will befall me:
God hangs mist or my eyes;
And DER each step Of my onward path
He makes new scenes arise
And every Joy He sends me comes
As sweet and glad surprise.
zee not step before me,
As l tsesd the days of the year,
But tn past IL till in Gods keeping,
The iu ure his mercy shall clear:
And what looks dark In the distance
May brighten a. draw near.
For pei haps the dreaded future
Has le>s bitterness than think:
Tie Lord may sweeien the water
Before l st0op to drink;
Or II Msrah must be Marah,
He will stand beside the brink,
IL may be there ia waiting
For the coming Of my feet,
Come gift of such rare blessedno@,
Some Joy 30 strangely sweet,
That my lip can only tremble
With the thanks cannot speAk.
oh, restful, blissful ign,rsnce'
Ills blessed not 10 know;
II keeps me quiet in those Arms
Winch with cot let me go,
And hushes my soul 70 rest
On the bosom which loves me 20.
50 20 on not moving:
IWould not II ! might
la rather Walk al The dark with God,
Than 20 alone in the light.
] would rather walk with Christ BY faith
Than walk alone by sight.
Ny heart ehrinks back from trials
Which the future may disclose,
Yet never had q sorrow
But what the dear Lord chose;
10 send the coming tears back,
With the whispered oids"He knows"
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-09-13

hand and glasses In her left, walked
bravely on, humming that air out of
Figaro"
bort vereisse deifes neuen. susses wimmem.
Da wo Lanzen und 6chwerter sohmmern-
the Uhlans followed behind.
After half an hours rough walking
through hedges and across bitches, they
reached the first line of outposts, where
the sentries, like moles, had thrown mp
the earth, to protect them from the enc.
my's fire. The fret they came to were
Savons, and one of these looking in per.
feet amazement at tho lady, exclaimed:
''Jesses STRAIN bach! If the Prussian
women arc 80 courageous, no wonder the
Frenohmen run when they see these
Amazons' husbands!" To which Nine.
Lucca replied in the broadcast Viennese:
"You are not quite right, my friend
l am Austrian born. Prussian by incli-
nation, but, above all, real and true
German"
Even on the way thither, single bullets
had come across from over the way"
but fortunately had passed over their
heads. Now, however, when the party
halted, thus giving the French q mark,
] the bullets began to fall thick and close.
one of the pennants was shot from q
lance and the horses began to get FESTIVE.
The sergeant rode up, saluted, and
said:
Frau Psroni, if remain here quar-.
ter of nm hour, |, niger with by Uhlans, l
shall not bring back q single man I'M
wounded; for the sight Of En- Uhlan
always makes the French spend fab.
vi of
Us he spoke bnllet grazed his horses
ear.
"For heavens sake" cried Lucoa,
startled. Don't Let any ones life be
endangered on my account. Pray, gen.
tlemen, turn and ride back as fast az You
can, and take my very best thanks to
your captain"
There was no need to repeat her COM
mand. The Uhlans having received in
structions to obey the lady in every.
thing, dashed away with lightning speed,
and were soon out of sight. Shortly
after their departure the. enemy's fire
also ceased.
Nine. Lucca was now able to look
around and taking advantage of the uiet,
went on till che reached one of the fore
most sentries. Here she found an old,
shot riddled stump, on which, being
rather tired, she seated herself, and
taking out her glasses, was plainly able
to soc the glistening of the French bayo
nets at no great distance. The ground
between the French aud German out
posts was literally ploughed up with
shot and she'll. Here she waited for
about quarter of an hour, but no
further shot came. On her return to
Popt-a Mousson she heard q soldier re-
mark: "She is bullet proof; she must be
witch!'
A few days after the battle of Sedan.
Lieut.. Won Rhaden, carefully baudaged
and we'll wrapped up, started for Berlin,
accompanied by his wife and her maid.
At Neuendorf, near Mannheim. q Berlin
banker asked Nine. Lucca what brought
her there in this time of danger, to which
she replied: II have just been to fetch
my old man from the seat of war, for I
think l shall nurse him better at home
than the sisters OF mercy could do in the
hospital"
Four months after these events Nine.
Lucca became the happy mother of
charming little aughter.-Temple Bar.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-09-13

TIE Cows Explanation. will that
COW bite7" asked city youth Of far.
mer who Nas milking an ugly look
ing animal. "Wsll, she Won't bite;
but advise you not 10 get too close to
her head, for she might hook you." re-
piled the granger. That's fanny" gig
you mean BY hookinSs" Just then the
GOV gave luFch TO lssvard, caught the
youth BY The skirt Of his eost, ead tosssd
him over ths fence. "Thss's what I
ueantr' exclaimed ths farmer. - the
ehsgrinsd chap picked himssf Up and
inPsd oG.-Ths u. 7. Dairy
, 1883-06-28

divides It: others Rainier after a big
mpuntin: others Columbia. after the
ta.gh;y river of that name which
bounds and divides il: but 10 nume
Yet suggested seems 10 have struck
the popular heart.
The Onion. believes that the Whit
MAJ Monument Association should
spend It's time and money in trying
to have the name Of the man Who
saved the Territory from the British
chosen for the proposed State. Il
would be a more lasting and fitting
monument than one Of granite erect
ed on q desolate sagebrush point,
miles from the daily haunts Of men.
1t would he distinctive name, one
which has q certain meaning, and
I le State would be one worthy to
bear the name Of the noble. grand
indouitable man who made winter
journey on horseback over forty
years ago from the Pacific To the All
lantic to teach the authorities of the
Nation the worth and value Of the
far distant hills, valleys, rivers.
mountains, forests, plains and inland
,as which constitute the present
Territory of Washington.
, 1883-06-28
ASECDorE OF rnAD srEYEys,

At Carlisle, Pa, they told me innu-
merable stories about that grim old
patriot and anti-slavery agitator, Thad
Stevens.
One day the old man was practicing
in the Carlisle courts, and he didn't like
the ruling OF the presiding Judge. A
second time the Judge ruled against
"Old Thad," when the old man got up
with a scarlet face and quivering lips.
and commenced tying up his papers us
if to quit the courtroom.
"Do 1 understand, Mr.. Stevens, -
asked the Judge, eying "Old Tkad -
indignantly, "that you wish to show
your contempt of this court?"
"No, sir; no, sir" replied cold
ThNd, " 81 don't want to show any con-
tempt, sir; I'm trying to conceal it,
Cor. Ne,0 York Star.