davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1883-11-23
VOL. XXVIII---NO. AZ.
VARIETIES.

1t isn't great ways to the end of cats
nose, but its fur to the end of its tail.
"A Philadelphia lawyer, too proud to al.
low his friends to suppose that he practices
in the divorce courts, advertises "Misfit mar
riages speciality"
"A man with an opinion II will stake
my opinion against any mans, said Mr.. Lite
wait, proudly. 81 got 'em from my lawyer
and they cost me $780,"
-"Yes," said Miss Penn. 81 rejected Mr..
Hogg. Nice fellow, but l couldn't have the
announcement of my marriage appear in the
papers under the head line Hogg-Penn.
Only thrice; This is the third time you
have called me liar, sir /" exclaimed an ex-
cited man. THAT so ?" replied the aggressor.
"Only three times Then | fear that have
not discharged my duty"
Perhaps the worst pun ever made A
man went into q florists: "Can you let me
sir" "Why can't your" "Bououets |
haven't got EN- that's why"
-"Do you ever gambler" she asked, as
they sat together, her hand held in his. He
replied mo, but if wanted to now would
be my, time. " =. How so ?" Because hold a
beautiful hand" The engagement is an
nounced.
A fashion jot: Dolly" said Arethusa.
don't you think that cord and ball on thai
lady's dress is just lovely W "Yaas, Thusie,"
replied Adolphus; otis magnificent it's
grand. 1t makes her look so much like a
curtain fixture, yer know"
An old acquaintance:
81 say, X, lend me 49,"
Impossible"
What, you refuse this favor to your Sec
ond self"
Yes; know myself too we'll"
The Laird Ito the minister, who has been
holding forth on temperance)- "But what
should do with my cellar of wine? You
wouldn't have me destroy it?" Minister
Ma. ma; that would be sen! But get rid
OFT in natural manner as soon's We can. III
come an help ye whenever We likew
Catching weasel asleep: Mrs. Pensonby
de Iomkyns (pointing to her books)-"They
are not many, Lord Adolphus, but they are
all frends-dear old friends?" Noble poet
taking down II volume of his own poems
and finding the leaves uncut)-"Ah huml
I'm glad to find that you don't cut all your
old friends, Mrs de Tomkynsp Mrs. p. de
L. is at loss for once.)
Two Yankees strollng in the woods, with
out any arms in their possession, observed
Dear climbing tree, with its paws clasped
around the trunk. One of them ran forward
and caught the bears paws, one in each
hand. He then called out to his comrade,
Jonathan, run home and bring me some
thing to kill the varmint. Mind you, don't
stay, for Pm in fix" Jonathan ran off, but
stayed long time. During the interval the
bear made several attempts to bite the hands
OF him who held it. AT length Jonathan
came back. "HallOO what Kent Won CO
long? "Well, I'll tell you. When / got
home breakfast was ready, so stopped to
eat it." WELL said his comrade, "come
you now and hold the critter while kill it,"
Jonathan seized the bears paws, and held
the animal. "Well have you hold of him ?"
~ guess have" Every well, then; hold
fast; am off for dinner"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1883-11-23

the dread power of the inquisition, or he
would have been food for the fagot. The saw
age relentless fire would have Tapped the
blood of one of the few great benafactors
humankind. Jenner, too, had he lived among
fanatical people, would have persisted, his
ashes scattered tn the winds, and lost proba-
bly, for ages would have been the "history
of the circulation, and the preventive of Small
Pox."
What bowls of wrath followed the Boston
Dentist" from the moment he gave his great
discovery to the world to the hour of his
death. Anathemas fell thick upon him,
launched by every "ignoramus'' in the land.
,"Woman's lot is suffering" cried they in an
to her side of the account by just Creator,
for bringing sin into the world" as
if the woman had more to do with the intro
duction of crime than the man. The woman
was brave. Anasthesia is for her. She ac-
knowledged her fault. All Hail.! The man
was coward, and hid himself. "The woman
tempted me" he whimpered-
have stood by the bedside of women in
childbirth, heard their screams of agony, and
was powerless to help them. Chloroform
was not to be had. 1t was on the bleak
dreary plains of Kansas that was taught to
bless the name of the "Boston Dentist" and
placeN with the names of Harvey and Jen-
ner.
"Abou Ben Adhem" for loving his fellow
man had his name inscribed in letters ofgold
in the Great Book of Life. DR.. Morton
should have his name inscribed in diamonds.
He robbed pain of its terrors. Who was
the first doctorp We bow our heads with
reverence and answer-"Galen" is the father
of medicine. He is god of the healing art.
Is this so? Where then shall we place Hip
pocrates? Where Pythagoras? Hippo
crates lived and practiced surgery three hun-
dred or more gears before Gaen had being,
Pythagoras century or more before Hippo
crates. Wemust go away beyond Noahs
Deluge for our founder. No matter, it's
enough for us to know that medicine is adj
vancing steadily onward, upward to higher
sphere of usefulness. We are not interested
in knowing who first prescribed "black
draught," "ten and ten" or gave the first
puration Our profession is godlike and
had god for its father.
So long as men are afflicted with all the
"ills and evils of Pandoras box" We are his
hope. To us he clings when sick ; when
well, he forgets our kindness and refuses to
pay for services rendered. The country
doctor should expect neither happiness nor
ease Both, to him, must ever remain un-
known quantities. He must make the best of
what he has. Take life as it comes. Take
these lines from Horace as his motto, and
be content: "Quid .fiuStra Simulacra .tuga-
Gle cdptdS gat0d pets est nuSgudm."
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1883-11-23
A Brute'S Affection.

One of the most touching of anecdotes
about dogs, is told of collie shepherd dog,
owned by a MI. H, which was very clev-
er at its duty, until it had litter of puppies
to tend. Only one puppy was spared to it,
and on this the poor collie so centred its af-
fections as to do most unwillingly the work
she had to do,
The master, vexed at the collie's unwilling
ness cruelty drowned the puppy before the
mothers eyes, covering the bucket in which
he left the body with sack. He then went
round the fields followed by the dog, who
from that moment resumed her usefulness
On Mr.. HIS return, after having had his
tea in the evening, he bethought himself of
the bucket, and went to fetch it to empty the
contents into a hole he had made in the ma
nure heap.
He found the bucket, covered as he had left
it, but on pouring out the contents there was
nothing but water. He questioned his wife
and niece, but neither knew anything about
it.
The next morning Mrs. H was struck
with the piteous expression of the poor ami
mails face and she said to her. "Scottie, tell
me where you have taken your puppy"
The dog Immediately ran off a distance of
quite hundred yards to the kitchen garden,
jumped the fence and went directly to the far
ther emu OF tne garden, 10 spot situated De-
tween two rows of beans, there where the
earth had been apperanlly moved she sat
and, as it were, wept.
Mrs. H went again into the house, and
without mentioning what had occurred, said
to her niece, ASK Scottie what she has done
with her puppy"
The question was put, and again the poor
creature went through the same performance.
These circumstances were mentioned to
Mr.. H, who pooh-poohed the idea of
their being anything out of the common /;
but to satisfy his wife, went to the spot, and
dug down dstence of three feet, and there,
sure enough, had the faithful, fond mother
carried and buried her little one.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1883-11-23
When You are i'm Trouble.

Don't be dismalI Your liver is
torpid, perhaps, and you may be said
to be bilious. The way to help you
out ofthe difficulty is to take B1o1Ow'S
Iron BhterS, which sets disordered
llvers at work in good style.
Don't be cross and ang,yI Your
digestion is bad, and that upsets your
disposition. If you will try Browns
Iron Bitters, you will find the digest
We difficulties driven away in short
order.
Dent be desbo0dcntI You are
"cak because your blood is thin, and
you cannot face trouble, or think you
cannot. Broatm'S Iron Bltte,s will
put iron into your circulation, enrich
ing the blood, making it a royal red
color, and giving you the strength
you need.
The troubled, the weary, the de-
spondent, the nervous, the debilitated
and the bilious find rest, repose, re-
treshment, and reconstruction in the
use of that prince of Tonics, Browns
Iron Bitters. The druggist charges
l dollar a bottle for it. 10
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1883-11-23
The Use Of Ammonia.

Few persons know the value of ammonia
in the house, says one of our exchanges. Use
a little in washing the hands and see how it
cleanses them. Put q little in the water in
which you wipe off the finger marks from
the doors or clean the paint, and it will save
you much labor and do NO harm to the paint
1t will clean your windows beautifully. Put
little in the dish water and it will save you
work, A tablespoonful in your scrubbing
pail will do more than much time and mus
Gle to brighten up the floor. A small guam
tity in your bath tub will be great comfort
and cleanser. Soiled clothing is much more
wife has just as much right to make her
work easier and better as a man has, and the
fault is her own if this advice does not help
her
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1883-11-23
A Dilemma.

Here is a pretty point for the hair.spltters
to solve:
Protagorus engaged to teach Euathlus the
art of pleading for large reward; one.half
to be paid at once, the other half when the
latter should have gained his first cause in
court After short time Protagorus sued
Euathlus for the unpaid moiety, enforcing
his claim by the following dilemma:
1.-THE case is decided in my favor, the sum
will be due to me according to the finding of
the court. If it is decided in your favor the
sum will be due to me according to our con-
tract. But it must be decided either in nv
favor or yours. Whether gain or lose the
cause shall be entitled to the reward"
Euathlus thus answered:
IF gain the cause, nothing will be due
you according to the decision of the court. If
lose in nothing will be due you according
to our contract But | shall either gain or
lose it. In neither case shall l pay you the
reward.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1883-11-23
2netica1.
For the AgiS and MtelRigencer.
TOMORROW.

BY c. It. WRIGHT.
A hand divine draws out the line
OF human life's short measure,
And one by one, each fleetiDg sun
Dimnishes the treasure.
With rapid tide our moments glide
Into eternal ages;
We're babes to-day-we laugh and pley-
Tomorrow we are sages.
We strive to clasp with eager grasp
The moments ere they reach US,
And in our haste we rudely waste
Gods agencies to teach u.s..
We fret because kind Heavens laws,
In doing out our living,
Meier render two swift moments due
While each breath singly giving.
We often play the hours away
In mirth that brings US sorrow;
But in our glee, we think to be
More thoughtful of the m0rTOU.
In love with self, we strive for pelf,
Both time and money borrow;
On ruins b ink we madly think
TO pay our debts tomorrow.
Each short to-day we throw away,
BY childish dreams elated,
Nor do we know with how much woe
The morning may be freighted.
The souls deep gloom to hope gives room,
Joy takes the place of sorrow,
If, when the night enshrouds the light,
Faith sees bright tomorrow.
Mid Joys and fears, mid smiles and tears,
Mid signs of hope or warning,
We pass along with needless song,
In picturing the morning.
The fitful CLEAN of deaths cold stream,
Seems but the darkness breaking;
We cease to weep-we sink to sleep,
And trust joyous waking.
The restless wheel of times great reel,
Winds up the cord that holds us;
Life yields to death our feeble breath
Eternity enJOidS us.
ACADEMY, Nov 14th, 1883.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1883-11-23
The Egis and Intelligencer
rerms-si.oo a Year, In Advance.

is PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY BY
f. w B A K e r..
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1883-11-23

Hop Bitters Co., Toronto:
have been sick for the past six years, suf-
fering from dyspepsia and general weakness
have used three bottles of Hop Bitters, and
they have done wonders for me. am well
and able to work, and eat and sleep we'll
cannot say too much for Hop Bitters.
SIMON ROBBINS,
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1883-11-23

TRANSIENT ADvERTIsEMENTs.--O Square, 3
insertions less $150. Each subsequent insertion,
20 cents. Longer advertisements in the same pro-
portion. Aspace equal to six lines makes square.
Figure-work double price.
. Obituaries and Personal Communications will
be inserted at ten cents per line.
az Yearly advertisements at Especial rates.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-15
LAND LETTERS.

10 another column viii be found a
disqualification in reply to "Taxpay-
er's" letter. published last week. We
have given both sides q fair hearing in
This land matter and we wish to cali n
halt for while. It is plain that these
letters can be of little use in the settle
ment of this question. They only stir
up i'll feeling on both sides, and SC far
as we see, can serve no good purpose.
We have written TO District Attorney
Hallowell, for documents that viii we
are informed, settle the dispute so far
rs the even sections are concerned.
He replies that as soon az the Supreme
Court adjourns, he viii send VS. the
papers in the case. As soon as these
como we viii publish them in full.
Until then, unless some one has some
Thing new 20 communicate, VIC must
decline to publish anything more about
the matter. In addition 10 the COM
municatiOn from "LOoker. On" we are
i'm receipt of another letter from the
same side, which We do net publish be-
cause the writer failed to give US his
name. Its rule as cid as newspapers
that an editor must know who writes
an article before he can publish 1t.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-15
JUDICIAL CONVENTION.

A meeting Of the !chairmen and sec.
retaries of the central committees of
the counties composing the seventh
Judicial District, was held at ChanUte
last Tuesday, the 18th, for the purpose
of deciding upon the holding of Ju.
dicial Convention. We are indebted
to Chairman Barber, of this county,
for a report
1t ~as decided to hold a Judicial
Convention at Chanute on Wednes-
day, the 9Th of September next. Two
plans were proposed and discussed at
length, for the election Of delegates;
one, which was finally adopted, that
each township send delegates direct to
the Convention, the other that the del
egates be sent through-a county con-
yention. The former was adopted as
being nearer the people, more fair, and
more republicans One delegate will
be elected FOR each Fifty votes, and ona
for each majority fraction. The date
OF the Convention was set late, in
courtesy and fairness TO Judge Talcott
whose judicial duties keep him closely
occupied until August. In due time
a call will be drawn and signed by, the
chairman and secretary ofcach county
committee, and published IN. The Re
publican papers of the DISTRICT. :.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-15
FACTS WORTH KNOWING.

We noz0 haze the largest stock of mems, youths,
and boys clothing euer displayed In lola. Ind
the best part of 1t is thnt zoe hare bought them at
Ue1y Iouo prices, and viii sell accordingly.
In OUR Clothing Department zoe have suits for
the boy of four years or the man ueiehine three
hundred pounds. Remember, zoe glue o. ne1U pair
for any of our Orr oUercJEs that rip. We are also
sole agents for the celebrated EJeDaie Shirts both
taUndried and unloundyied.
In Boots and Shoes zee defy competition, for 10e
knoW from experience that the Giesecke 1corb
1clU outsOeor any other IN the market. HI of
their goods are 1co7ranted
In our line of Hats will be found fur 1oool and
st70W in all the latest styles.
Trunks and Sotchels of the best makes and
styles.
We buy all oar goods direct from the manufac-
turers; therefore, and ,.iW sell as cheap as
the cheapest.
G-s9 We keep eUeryt7s5ne for men and boys. .An
Inspection solicited
ANDERSON & DeCLUTE.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-15
REAL ESTATE TRANSFERS.

Abstract of real estate transfers filed
for record in the Registers Office OF
Allen county, Kansas, for the, week
ending Wednesday, June Is, 1888
furnished by Othick d Smith, abstract.
ers of title.
Humboldt; warranty deel-saf9
Lyman j. RhoaHes 70 ]. NJ McCar!py; part nc
sec IS, "a, r Is; warranty deed-SlO0.
B u Dayton TO W Il Swearipger; par. LOT 4,
block 3, Cardy's addition to Hnmboidt; war
ra'Tty deetl--sJ2
Anthony W Afford to I 4 Afford. syy ace q.
&c, r 70; warranty dec,l--S.51
Allen erunty to VIM Ln,,se-i lot 8, block 4! ,
lots % ! and 5. block 10; lot 4 block Il, Hum
hooti ct claim deed--$33.!9
Cc:rselia Rannells ~ II Mitchell, CIV sec SO,
p. 81; warranty deett-SI, 1GJ
W Finley 20 ID ii MITCHELL; lots, block 81,
Moran city, warranty deed-sE
SB II Dayton to Marion q Prats; lots s aad 6,
block is, humboldt; warranty deed-$S1i.
Julia L tushnan - B II Dayton; part lot 4,
block 5, Curdy's addition, Humboldt; warran-
t. Gee6-s6a.
Elijah Strosniirr TO j Luse; en- lot 10, block
q. Humboldt; warranty deci-sao
l. Norihrup to Otto KRUGER; lot s, block
log, lola: warranty deed-S550
a Norshrnp to Otto Krdeger; lots 10 and II :.
bl, ck o., lola; warranty deel-Sl5o.
WmJ Dell0Gs 20 Madison Hichson; sh syy
sec 2 "A, r2l; warranty dced-S7j.
} W Ju!lis TO " Schalasr; lot 6, block 8,
HuInpplat; warranty lesi-S30S.
I to Lewis ID Back; NV sec g, t "a, -; Il
uai receipt.
kCL It's KRR TO Chas Hanser; ne s. and
81 Sc sec Is. tZS, Isl warranty deeG-S4S9.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-15

ing to stay for dinner, and ! am about
to sell this man the quarter-section
claimed by Mr.. -~-- and l
want you to keep your mouth shut
about the League business, for you
have spoiled tMO or three trades for me
In that way.n Well John kept his
mouth shut and Mr.. Agent sold the
land. But according To Citizen,
there is nothing wrong about that.
We do not blame the man who
bought the land any more than We
would had it been a stolen horse or
other property he had been induced to
buy through Misrepresentation. We
can give all the names Of the above
parties if necessary. Now 1t seems to
me that the sensible thing to do would
be for all parties concerned to go to-
gethcr and petition the government in
terms that would compelit to
settle the difficulty in some way or
other. That is all the League asks
for. Let us go to the courts of justice
and we will abide the decision Of TIC
supreme Court. But "CitiZen," or
"Tax Payer" and others of that
stripe, instead of trying to get the dis
pute settled, will use all their infiu-
eace toward breaking up the League.
They don't give cent whether the
question OF title is settled or not.
They are not fighting the League from
any principle whatever, just simply
for revenge. III these good, honest,
upright tax-payirg citisens would or
ganizo, let il be league or anti-ieague,
it matters not, and spend their time,
money, cuss words and latent energy,
that they expend i'm running their
little petty Injunction suits, toward
getting their title settled in the higher
courts, it would not be twelve
months until there would be no more
use for q Land League in Eismore
township. We have not yet exhaust
ell the subject, and il the editor will
permit we will give few more Of oul
obsei vaii0ns at some other time.
LoOKERON.
Moran, Kan, June ., 1885.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-15
Neosho Valley Notes.

1ourishing Sunday School Is now in pro-
gross at Pleasant Valley Rev D. Holmes iii
preach at that place on next SUNDAY a. 1 . clcci
IN the eye.Ing.
Mr. i;ale has lost two cows and several hogs
with hytrUphobia. The dog that cid the mis-
chief Mas his own.
Mr.. CnIbcctson returned week before Las;
from nentlcky. During his absence of three
weeks he attended the funeral of brother AM,
q hrother-in-law.
MIR. Moore and son have returned TO Ohio
where they VIII remain for two or three
months.
Ga Friday evening as James Sebefga!I was
seated at The or,.an exercising his best eiurts
be was much astonisaed t. End that the room
Was niiest Win young friends who has silently
entered curing his engagement The surprise
wa given in honor OF his birthday, ard 1t is
needless to say anything more than that the
sior. hoers OF the evening were spent ia a So
Ciai anu pleasant manner.
We shoClG have mentioned ere this, that a
new organ has been plGceu i'll tre home of X
PuTdonl.
y. d. Delp has bought q farm on Deer creek
where be Will make his b ME.
The Eent'emaIthat bargane1 for A. j. Ser
yey iofty acre farm snd The l29 acre piece Of
with tie contract Mr. Servey has since
bought the field on the west.
The families CT VIZ. :fankins, and S .Jacoby
reatiiiy col.iniGaic;.te by myans of telephone.
VIVA. H?nilns has sold mis- interest IN the
StoGGafd tarIII 10 mis- brother beck
Nothing pr'sehts Z more noticeable contrast
tnGn mat between stock that was raise! few
yeals ago aad what 10 being raised now 4
inan t.iat has lived IN Allen county, or we may
say IL our own Gci.hborhuoG, for iitec:. ycar,
cannot help hut notice that great improve
aent h.s been maize IN cattle during that snort
2crlrd al time. And IS the returns Of good
vattie far exceed that OF an inferior ouaiity
every person, Whether In poss, ssion Of half
Gczen, or q hundred head, are striving to an
Improve their stock. In this connection We
Wish TO make special mention of j. Il. Butler
whose ambition fb- ilCe stock cannot ue sur-
passeo. ! rhort time ago he selected sh .rt-
aorn yeariins bull rom q herd that were
brought from Kentucky by q hr Bayne for
WHICH be laid about 500. We are also in
fOrIne.i that Sr Culbcrtson and J. Bale have
each . Apnturky bull with taeir herds.
Y
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-15
Moran Matters.

LGTsSn q 90. tor CARPETS
iii. Tom Rowe Las Inc Dest earn have seen
oats are looking unusually welt and r,pIes,
Something happens ~ :t we viii haze the best
oat crop we hive mad Icr years
X. DeWsOl, . y. hacH, ~ = Yopup
n DswSvn . Co, Moran, haIsas
In Sauibsry, CT Sew-Ys,.k;-is visiting aIS
rethe.s, Os,aar 3auibeTy.
ar Chas: etee.e's family, of lola, gp< nj the
SABBATH with Mr. W . Steele
Mrs. Geos Linn and Miss susie Lee of Gene
Va, are siSili1is thelr sister, Mrs steele
Sloest Sh 'seS 1t B. Dawson K Cos
While sitting in DIR. Eiiis's drug store ,asr
saturday cur ears were greeted 10y the sound uf
martial music which mace las think OF the dark
day 5of " % aud %. Upon inqsiiring ne yer,
Informed that some oi tie boys were practicipy
preparatory to organizing q riartial baoc
which viii be the fourth band for cur burg
Verify, Moan is musical town.
For the first tine this spring car IA. se on.
my items without noting the erection Of a ueg
building.
The Csase township Sunday School Conyen-
tor was heia at Monterale Last sabbath On sc-
count Of the weather the attendance Was MT
large, but we are informed by ehoee that were
foGta1asS enough 10 get there that they lad a
good tine. Why caE' Marmaton township hoiC
. convention some time this summer?
60. ~ Iags9l 4 20. ,or gooi goods at fair
clothing, boots shoes, etc
sne Nora Temperance society held It's third
e.iBs ,es.la. ev riTss, Ia q cd Attendance
after listening 20 music ~ Miss 4. Southland,
ana recitation by Master Clark Thomas, we