davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-24

The pretty story that is going the
rounds from Washington of the way
young Mr.. Magruder Hugh and young
Miss Minnie O'Dowd outwittcd the elder
Mr.. Hugh and the elder O'Dowd, got
their nuptial knot all tied in secret and
came back for their parents blessing,
is full of suggestions for times like
these. OF course young people have
done that before and will do it again.
The surcst way to hasten young lovers
into matrimony is to oppose their de.
signs. Often enough young lovers tire
of each other, or find out that they are
not as absolutely dependent on each
other as they thought, if left to them
selves. But try to chain up child and
away he will go; and especially she.
In this instance they both went. And
is is not something to encourage rather
than discourage? That is, ought not
parents to encourage early love mar
riages rather than discourage them as
they often do? The tendency of mod
ern society is away from early mar
riages, especially love marriages. The
merest children are talking Of marry
ing for money later on. Thoughtful
people have no doubt as to the sort of
social life this will produce eventually,
and how utterly it will vitiate all the
little sacredness of duty and self-sacri-
flee that are called up in every welded
life. The truth is that true affection in
volving the sense of duty is the only
force that will stand by human beings
in the relations involved in every hui
man existence
Young people will fall in love. The
desires Of nature are not subject to par
entail control. OF course, they can be
educated, but to far less extent than
philosophers dream. They will assert
themselves, and it seems that parents
would be far better employed watching
any genuine affections that arise and
in encouraging the same toward actual
early marriage, aiding the young folks
financially and every other way, rather
than in checking only the best of their
impulses. 1t is possible, too, that
7oung folks whose parents are poor
would often do better were they to
marry young and by mutual fidelity
help each other, than in sowing wild
oats for future haryests of crime. It is
an appeal to parents for a more sensible
and generous policy toward their child
rem, and an appeal to the young for a
return to the heroism of sound hearts
again. Philadelphia Times.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-24
WHOLE NUMBER 4I3
Always His Luck.

He boarded the st. Clair River boat
yesterday morning with his wife and
five children. and tho family were not
yet seated when he began:
''Now, Sarah, I'll bet $50 you forgot
to hook that woodshed door!''
mercy on me, but so did!'' she
gasped.
''Just as expected-just exactly;
We'll get home to find the house cleaned
out or in ashes. Never mind, though,
it would serve us just rightr'
The boat had not yet started when
one OF the boys who insisted on some
gymnastics with chair fell to the deck
and set up great squal.
Broke both arms, or I'm sinner!"
shouted the father. II told you he d do
it if we let him como along, and now
he's a cripple for life!''
1t was, however, discovered that the
youngster had sustained nothing more
serious than skinned nose, and peace
was restored and continued until tho
wife suddenly discovered that she had
lost her watch.
''Of course-of courser' growled the
husband. "There goes 1925 of my hard
earnings! knew you'd have it stolen
before you had gone rod!'
" But perhaps left it on the bureau"
'Well, it will be logged off before
night. just the same. Serves you Just
right for bulldozng mo whole month
to make this Internal excursion. What
ails that woman's baby!"
II declare if it hasn't got the whoop-
ing cough"
'Of course-of course, and not ono of
our children ever had it! You'll have
business on your hands for tho next six
weeksm
The next half hour passed peacefully
enough. Then somebody observed that
man whose gaze was fixed on the wa
ter probably contemplated suicide.
II expect nothing else" exclaimed
the disconsolate husband, "but maybe
he will listen to reason"
Going over to the stranger, he laid
hand on his shoulder and brusquely in
CURED:
lake?'
Eyes, sir!' was tho reply as the man
looked up.
''Just so-exactly-I suspected As
much. You'll utter a yell as you 20
over and kick up all the Robbery you
can, presume"
Eyes, sir."
"And my wife will faint away. and
every young'un howl like an injun! I'll
give you a dollar to go over on tho
| slyr'
ono, sir-not for thousand"
Haven't you any feelings for man
| who has had steamboats, and fish and
rivers and lakes and flats pounded into
him for three months?'
''None, SIR"
"And won't five dollars bribe you?'
at won't"
'Then 20 ahead with your Grafton
and death-yell! Make all the fuss you
will! Splatter around in tho water as
long as you possibly can, and fix your
eyes on my family when you 20 down
for tho last time! l never had any other
kind of luck, and Pm going down to
the saloon and get drunk preparatory to
a boiler explosion Goodbye, old fell
Ter; serves mo right, and I don't CON-
plain!'
When he was helped ashore at the
Flats he was weak in tho knees and
timber in his spirit. Gathering his fam
lily around him he counted:
"Shevcn, eight, nine, ten, 'lezen,
twelve Why, bless my stars! only
had five children when we left Detroit,
AN now Two got ten! Juss my luck
juss ri 'spected! Los watch-whoopin'
cough-suicide-ten shildren-whoop
Sherves mo JUS rize!'-Detrois Free
| Press.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-24

a steam buggy being made at
Augusta, Ga, will have two wheels be-
hind and but one in front. The ma
chinery will be located in front, also
water and gasoline tanks. The boilers
are heated by two gasoline burners.
The front wheel is extra large, and will
bear the entire weight of the machinery.
AS it is the traction wheel, this will
serve to good purpose, by weighing it
firmly to the earth. The rear of the
machine will be the same as an ordi-
nary buggy, with ample room for sew
eral persons. The engines can be
worked with ease by any one in tho
buggy, and can be guided in any direc.
ton at the will of the operator. Its
average speed is estimated at mile il
three minutes.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-24

A Nebraska thief devotes his time en-
tirely to the larceny of hogs, and with
great success. He goes forth by night,
armed with long stick, to which
sponge is fastened, and bottle of
chloroform. The porcine victim is lull-
ed to rest by the enesthetic, and then
borne silently away Tho other night
one OF the slumbering hogs rolled out
of the thiefs wagon. A kind-hearted
farmer who came along the road as
sisted the thief to load up again, amid
profuse thanks. When the farmer
reached home he discovered that the
pig was from his own sty.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-24

The New Highlander who does net like
pumpkin pies should be ostracised.
They are reminders to many of the hal
cyon boyhood days of country life. A
large golden pumpkin pie set on the
table is almost sufficient to give the
dyspeptic a good appetite, and cause
him to see worldly affairs in roseate
hues. The farmers are now bringing
pumpkins into the market, and many q
staid citizen walks smilingly homeward
with good large one under his arm.
A good-sized pumpkin could be bought
this morning for ten cents. Kenebec
Journal.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-24

An Arkansas editor upon retiring
from the control of an influential jour-
nal said: I'VE do not leave this COM
munity with any regret; we are glad to
90. We have not received due patron
age from this town, consequently we
are pleased to throw up the journalistic
sponge. 1t is the custom for editors TO
say that they part with their contempo-
rarles with regret, which we do not In
fact we are devilish glad to quit We
have been branded as thief, and it has
been proved that we are thief. cOnSe-
quently we have no regrets at parting.
Those who owe us are expected to settle
at their earliest convenience. Those
whom we owe must wait.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-24

The Mexicans are the greatest
smokers in the world. They all smoke.
The school children who have done best
in their studies are rewarded by being
allowed to smoke cigar as they stand
or sit at their lessons. The school
master himself is seldom without . cigar
in his mouth. In the law courts all
persons commonly enjoy their tobacco
freely, and even the accused in GRIM
inal trial is not denied the indulgence.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-24
ARun on a Druq Store.

Never was such a rush made for any
Drug Store as is now at the City Drug
Store for q Trial Bottle of DIR. Kings
New Discovery for Consumption.
Coughs and Colds. All persons affect
ed with Asthma, Bronchitis Hoarse.
ness, Severe Coughs or any affection
of the Throat and Lungs, can get 5
Bottle OF this great remedy by o..lling
at above Drug Store. Regular size
! 90.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30
NINE. NILSSON In WASHINGTON.

The Swedish NishtinsaIe's Hear'y Welcome
From y DisLins uIs,led Audience.
Mime. Nilsson sang in concert at LiocOln
hall, Washington, Thursday evening to an
audience that filled every seat aud the
stairways, and even ovclfowed into the
aisles. She was assisted by Miss Hope
Glenn, the contralto Messrs Biorkesten,
tenor; Giese, violoncelio Schnitzler,
violin, and by the Mendelssohn quintette
club. In her mourning dress OF satin,
combined with crepe dc chine, with no
ornaments but diamond ear rings and an
immense solitaire cleaning at the meet
ing of her square Eecked cOrsage,
and royal decoration on her left breast,
she seemed to many more radiant in her
chastened beauty than when she sang there
nine years ago. She received as enthu
siastic a welcome as Patti and a more
loving and defferential one. Madame
Nilsson sang seven numbers, four of which
were in response to cncOres. OF the latter,
"Down on the SwaIee River" and Home,
Sweet Home" to both of which she played
her own accompaniments, were received
with special demonstrations of pleasure.
The president accompanied by his little
daughter, his private secretary and .
party of lady friends from New York,
some of whom came down with Madame
Nilsson, occupied central seats. In the
same row with him sat Miss Kate Chase,
formerly Mrs. Sprague dressed with much
taste and style. impressive in her beauty,
while among the others present were Geo.
Bancroft, Mary Clemmer, Mrs. Curtin
and Senator and Mrs. Hawley.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30

Over-enting is in one sense as productive OF
evil rs intemperance IN drinking. Avoid both
and keep the blood purified with BurdOck
Blood Bitters, and you will be rewarded wi Ii
robust health and an invi.orating system
Price 81. For sale by ii. L. Cochran, drug
giSt. l37 and l39 North Queen street.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30
SILVER CREEK, n. Y, Eel

SEVER CREEK n. Y. Feb. 6, 1880.
GENTS have been very low and have tried
everything, to no advantage. | heard our
Hop BitterS recommended Ivy so many and l
concluded to give them a trial. l did and now
am around and constantly improving and am
nearly rs strong as eyer.
mar22-lGtcCd w. H. WELLER.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30
DO yOn Relieve If.

That in this town there are ), Cres OF persons
passing our store every day whose lives are
made miserable by Indigestion, dyspepsia
Sour and distressed Stomach, Liver Com.
plant, Constipation. " hen tor &c. we will sell
them Shiloh's VitaliZer. guaranteed to cure
them. Sold by II. II. Cochran, druggist, Nos.
l47 and l39 North Queen street. feb.-couo
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30
Deaf as a Post.

Mrs. ". j. Lang, Bethany, Ont, states lhit
for fifteen months she was troubled with a
disease In the ear, causing entire ncatness. In
ten minutes after using Thomas Eclectric
OIL she found relic, ,and IN Il short time she
was entirely cured and her hearing restored.
For sale by IL; Ii. Cochran, druggist, 1S7 and
l39 North Queen street.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30
Evils to he Avoided.

For an Old and valuable remedy SEQ ;l'.vor-
tisement OF Simmons Liver Regulator
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30

nIMPLES, FLESH WORMS. BLACK
L HEADS-No one can be beautiful whose
face is disfgured with pimples. flesh worms
and blackheadS. They affect the checks, fore
making the face look as ii specked with dirt.
DR.. II. ID. LONGAKER has paid particular at
tentiOn to these troublesome affections of the
face and will guarantee to cure every ease OF
Dimples flesh worms and blackheads in cx-
istencc. Office, 13 East Walnut street, Ian as
ter. Consultation tree.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30
Aancaster !9ntelltgenccr.
FRIDAY EVENING, MARCH 80. 1888,

GRANDMOTHEK's PONTRAiT.
Oh, many. many years ago,
They tell me she was fair
They say the yellow buttercups
Were jealous of Ler hair
That all the peach-blOoms biushed TO see
The soft pink on her cheeks-
That blue.bells looking at her eyes
Would hang their heads for weeks.
But she-she only laughs and says,
"Ah. that was long ago.
My hair nothing need envy now
Except the drifted snow.
The peach blooms and the b,ue-bells
Have long since smiled away
The silly fear thcv may have mad
In some past summer day.
And IL think her iovelier
Than any flower that grows;
And when loOkinto her eyes
fancy that she knows
Her sweet age is more beautiful
Than fairest youth could tie,
Though when tell her what think,
She only laughs at me.
Jesse McDermoH in our continent.
= mound, q stone and yiolcts;
A bird-song in the air;
A child tnat gathers flowers and lets
The wind play with its hair;
The field of wheat across the hedge
Rlppled by fairy hands;
A silver stream that downward runs
To cheer the lower lands.
No mound, no stone, no vlolets-
A blue sea overhead;
sobbing wind, that ne'er forSeto
Its chanting tor the dead.
Beneath the stars on summer nights.
That deep blue grave how fair
The while upon the shore the waves
Beat law, AS If in prayer.
No mound. no stone, no Yiolcts:
No bird. nor wave. nor star:
A spot where Memory forgets
What spring and summer are;
Deeper 1t lies than Geep-sca graves,
From land and sea apart
Ograve, so sad and desolate.
Ograve. within the heart!
-Uarence T. Urmy. IN Our Continent.
AN INDIAN SONG.
As 1 walked out one day
saw in q tree
A little bird sitting
And singing Pawnee.
said little bird
You arc breaking the rule;
We espeak Only English
At Carlisle School,"
But he sang very loud
"Kau-kce-kOO
Then saucily added
"Ka chce- kau-kcc. * oo-,le-dOo "
That Is what lie said,
liam not afraid
And TO 1t added,
"True am not afraid
But was afraid
And ran from the tree,
Lest too be tempted
To speak in Pawncc,
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30

DAK9AINS IN WArUHEs CLOCkS
ID Chains, Rings, Spectacles, &C. Repairing
OF all kinds will receive my personal atten,
ton. LOUIS WEBER, No. l59x N orth Queen
recty opposite City Hotel, near Pennsylvania
railroad depot. dec 2S lyd
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30

Queen street.
NKAY'S SPECIFIC MEDlOINE. - III K
" Great English Remedy. An unfailing
cure tor ImpOtency, and all Diseases that
follow loss OF Memory. Universal Lassi:
tude. Pain in tho Back. Dtmness OF
Vision, Premature Old Ago, and many
other diseases that lead to Insanity or Con.
sumption and a Premature Grave. Full par
ticulars in our pamphlet, which we desire to
send free by mali to every one. The Specific
Medicine is sold by all druggists at 81 per pack
age, or six packages tor IS, or will Ee sent free
by mail on the receipt OF the money, by I'D.
dressing the agent, L. 3. Cochran, 137 and l39
North Queen street. On account OF counter.
fcits, we have adopted the Yellow Wrapper
heonly genuine. Guarantees ofcure issued by
Druggist, 1877 and l39 North Queen street.
THE GRAY MEDICINE CO.. N. Y.
aprl2lVd6v
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30

This Space Reserved for SHULTZ'S
SONS. Hatters, No. 144 North Queen
Street, Lancaster, Pa. (Gundaker's Old
Stand.)
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30
HEDIOAL.

Hor H'frrH''
HOP BITTERS,
"a Medicine, Not Drlnk.)
Contains HOPS. BUCHU, MANDRAKE,
DANDELION and the Purest and
Best Medical Qualities OF all
Other Bisters.
THEY CURE
All Diseases of the Stomach, Bowels, Blood.
Liver, Kidneys and Urinary Organs: Nerv-
business, Sleepless and especially femaie
Complaints.
81 900 IN GOLD will be paid for case they
will not cure or help, or tor anything
impure and injurious found1n them.
Ask your druggist for HOP BITTERs and
try them before you sleep. Tske NO otheF'
ID. 1. C. Is an absolute and irresistible cure
tor Drunkenness, use Of opium, tobacco and
narcotics.
SEND FOR CIRCULAR.
All the above sold by druggists.
HOP BITTERS MFG. CO.,
Rochester, N. Y, and Toronto, Ont.
m22lGteod
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30

FHOI RENT.
l. One Store and Dwelling No. 3i;3 NOrtl.
Queen street, opposite Northern Marke,
House. Apply at No. 3o5 NORTH QUEEN
SrREET. t!23-tfd
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30
II ATS, cars AND FUK.,
Hats, CAPS and Furs.

JOHN SIDES has purchased the enliro stock
of Hats, Caps and Furs lately belonging to the
frm OF ShultZ Bro, fashionable hAtters. and
now offers them tor sale, retail and whole
sale. at greatly reduced prices at Nos. 81 and
33 NORTH QUEEN ST, the wellestablished
Hat Store of the late firm OF Shultz q Bro
Special inducements offered TO country mer-
chants. Mr.. Sides will continue the Hat bust
ness and constantly keep on hand the latest
and best styles. He has employed Henry A.
and VIM. Shultz, Of the late firm OF Shultz a
Bro. who are experienced hatters.
JOHN SIDES,
SUCCESSOR TO sHULTz BRO.)
fl3tfl
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30

TOP BITTEKS FOR SALE AT II. B
III Cochran's Drug Store, l37 and l39 North
Queen street.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30
ron SALE.

DOOMS FOR RENT.
H Pleasant and convenient rooms to let
furnished or unturnishcd, without board. al
go North Duke street. it'd
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30

Harrisburg Express west, at $40 p. M, has
direct connections twithOut change of cars) to
Columbia ana York.
Fast Line, west, on sunday, when tagged,
will stop at DOwnin gtOwn, CoateSville, ParksS-
burg, Mount Joy, ElizabethtOwn and Middle
town.
Day Express, Fast Line, News Express, Mall
| Train, No. l, Western Express and Pacific Ea-
press run daily.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30

EIRsT-CLASs PENNSYLVANIA CIGAHS
Is tor 25 cts. at
HARTMAN'S YELLOW FRONT CIGAR
STORE.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-03-30
HAEIL&Ra, aUIDl
.NCAsrER IND MILLkRsvILLE 4.

OOLpMBlA PORT DEPOSIT RAIL-
" ROAD TIME TABLE.
Trains nov run regularly on the Columbia
q Port Deposit Railro0d ON the following
time:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1883-06-08


The editor II prominent per.naicnl
had among his contributors one irirl,,.
put errnilc genius. who always seasoned
ms matter with the spice cf humor One
anl The editor called him In and told
him he wanted him 10 bring IN several
articles without any fun about them.
"but how can do it?n pleaded the
contributor.
~ don't know how. but know Won
can. replied the editor.
We'll; viii you take my Judgment On
will"
''All right. ! think ! may be able 70
satisfy you that they are serious. Y
Then he went away. and the next
day returned and placed bundle u
papers on the editors desk. which thar
worthy immediately proceeded 70 ex-
anime. After 4 minute or two, he locke
up and said. in amazcmenf:
why, what's All this? Haven't YOU
given me the wrong stnff?r
II guess not What's wronge''
why, here's bill Of fifteen dollars
for board, another Of five dollars for
washing. another Of fifty dollars for
clothes, another Of ten dollars for pew
rent, and Heaven only knows what's in
the rest Of the pile"
"Well. what's wrong? There ain I
any Of them reccipted. 4 theree''
mo, not as far as I've seen: but ]
don't understand why you should bring
them here"
didn't you say you wanted some ar
ticles without any fun in them. and
didn't you say you'd take my judgment
on their being seGous, and could / have
found anything with less fun in Il than
what I have brought you? II you DON
accept my judgment in this matter.
want 70 quit right now"
II catch on. But don't quit. I've
been there myself. and l can See clearly
that you have m excellent sense of the
serious. I've got . few old manuscripts
Of the same sentiment on file, and I've
not been able 70 see anything funny in
them these many years. IT, hiladtlphid
Printers Circular.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1883-06-08

WHEx 1 vas young man. he aid.
- ~ walked up and down the platform,
we did not depend On our fathers. We
much better show Cor young men to-day.
and yet none Of them strike out Tor them
selvcs.D Do you know Of : good open
mgr timtdiy Inquired young man with
sample trunk under him. "Ycs. cir: 70
% Tennessee. sir; there arc mountains Of
Iron n that STATE Which can b had for iiffy
cents m acre. :" Il that s0!n ssIf H. p
IN tell you what III do continued the
young man. = be BIT on the end Of =
twentyrenter. II you'll buy two or three
q those mountains SCI up blast furnace.
and get things booming, I'm come down
and engineer Ut Of books for you q <I50
per month The sclf-made man took .
veIx down TIE track % hide bis disgust
Wall Street Neus-
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1883-06-08

The other day we had occasion 70 in
vestigate pretty thoroughly the charac-
ter. properties. and uses for straw lum-
Der. A some Of our readers know,
this il an article manufactured At the
West. and turned out in boards and
sheets thirty-three inches in width b.
twelve feet in length. and Of various
thicknesses. II u heavier than black
walnut. has no grain, Is Of the color Of
straw-board, though considerably dark
er. and Is much stronger and sitter than
ordinary timber. Though made in con-
siderable quantities It the present time.
the supply seems hardly equal 70 the
demand. There are advantages in this
material. which in the near future will
probably make il Of the highest value.
not only for carpenters and architects.
but for the car-bnilder, and, In fact. for
mechanics generally. IT. tonghness.
the firmness with which Il holds nails
and screws. the ease with which Il can
be cut, and the fact that Il can be bent
By the aid Of heat, shaped IN dies. and
Is not liable 20 shrink or warp. and i
little affected BY water, even when IN
protected. makes the range Of its proba-
bic uses extraordinary great. Il seems
10 be non-conductor II heat and cleo
tricity. IL can be rolled up into pipes
Of great strength and light weight, and
Il available for . range of uses for pan
cling purposes for which we have no
equivalent Age.