Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1883-02-03
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nsw he Pisyea the Ga MAJ.
""'eil. guess will 90 TO hadee. I
viii see you later said the bad bow to
the grocery man, az be held a cracker
under the faucet of the syrup keo. and
then sat down on a soap box by the
stove and proceeded to make lunch.
while The grocery man charged the bows
father with a gallon of syrup and a
pound of crackers,
"What do Won mean. Won profane
wretch, talking abouf meeting me later
in hades,n said the indignant Qrooerv
man. IT expect 10 uaas 81 the hot uiace
where yoQ are sixsIiuQ. and 10 20 the
realms OF bliss. where there il one con-
tinued round Of happiness. and angels
playing on golden hsrps, and singing
hymns Of praise
why, pa says will surely 90 to
hades, and thought you would pro
badly be there, a. il costs eomethinu to
get to heaven, and YOU can get to the
other place for nothing. Saw, YOU would
b healthy delegate 70 90 70 heaven,
with a lot Of girl angels. wouldn't you?
smelling of frovy butter, az Won always
do, and kerosene, and herring, and bar
soap, and cheese, and rotten potatoes.
Say, an angel wouldn't stay on tho same
golden street with you, without holding
her handkerchief TO her nose, and you
couldn't get in there, anyway, cause
you would want to pay your entrance
fee ont of the store"
Say, you get out of here, condemn
you. you are getting sassy. There 10 no
ono that is more free-hearted than l
am" said the grocery man.
20, give Us 'siesta. am onto you
bigger'n an elevator. When they had
The oyster sociable at the church You
gave four pounds OF musty crackers
with worms IN, and they tasted OF kero-
sene, and when the minister prayed for
those who had generously contributed
to the sociable, you raised up your head
as though you wanted them all TO know
he meant you. IT q man can get to
heaven ON four pounds OF musty crack
ers, done up in paper that has been
around mackerel, then what's the use OF
a man being good, and giving sixteen
ounces to the pOundY But, there, don't
blush and cry. will use my influence
to get your feet into tho golden streets
of the New Jerusalem, but you have got
to quit sending those small potatoes to
our house, with a few big ones on the
top of the basket. III tell y0u how 1t
was that pa told me ! would 90 to hades.
You see pa has been reading ont OF an
old back number Bible, and ma and me
argued with him about getting a new
revised edition. We told him that the
old one was out of style, and that all
the neighbOrs had the newest out in
bibles, with dolman leaves, and gath
cred in the back, and they put on style
over Us, and We could not hold up our
heads in society whom it was known We
were wearing the old last years bible.
Pa kicked against it, but finally got
one. thought had AZ much right to
change things in the now bible as the
other fellows had to change things in
the old one. 80 pasted some notices
and patent medicine advertisements in
it, after the verses. Pa never reads q
whole chapter, but reads q verse or TIVE
and skips around. Before breakfast
the other morning pa got tho new bible
and commenced reading the ton COM
mandments, and some other things.
The first thing pa struck was, Verify
say unto you, try st. Jacobs Oil for
rheumatism Pa looked over his specs
at ma, and then looked at me, but l had
my face covered with my hands, sort Of
pious like. Pa said he didn't think it
Just the thing to put advertisements
in the bible, but ma said she didn't
know as it was any worse than to have q
patent medicine notice next to Beecher's
sermon in a religious paper. Pa sighed
and turned oyer few leaves and read,
Thou shalt not oovet thy neighbor's
wife. nor his OF: If Won love me as
love You no knife can sut our love in
twO. That last part was q motto that