Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1883-01-03
q NO WEDDING BELLS

"Celestlna Maria, SAID tho widow
Wilkins, 81 want you to behave very
we'll this afternoon"
"What for, az"
Because I expect Mr.. Worthington
to tea. You know Mr.. Worthington,
don't you?'
eyes, ma he's the man with the long
nose"
"Celestina Maria, I'm shocked to hear
you speak so improperly"
"Ain't it true, ma? never see such
a long nose in my life"
you will oblige mo by making no
remarks about his nose. Even il his
nose is little long it may not prevent
his being good man."
anyway, L wouldn't marry such 4
long-nosed man, would you, map?
"Hush, ny child ; it is improper for
you to speak of getting married. gAnd
one thing more, you must be very care.
fnl what you say when Mr.. Worthington
is here. II you won't say anything about
his nose, I'll give you, let me see, some
of that cake YOU like so much"
"Wilt you, ma? That'lI be Jolly"
"But you must behave very well,
Celestina Maria"
ooh, yes, I'll behave"
The child went dancing out of the
room, exulting in the anticipation of
the cake, OF which she was particularly
fond.
The Widow Wilkins had been o, wld-
ow for three years, which she very natu.
rally thought was quite long enough,
and she now had set her cap for Mr..
Worthington, bachelor in the neigh,
borhood. Mr.. Worthington was very
well to do, and was considered o very
good match. Ho was, however, very
diflident, which may account for his not
having been taken captive before. To
this task Mrs. Wilkins had addressed
herself, and being widow and mistress
of the wilcs which the elder Mr.. Weller
ascribes to widows as class, she did
not despair of bringing him to the
point. 1t was quite triumph when he
accepted an invitation to take tea at her
house, as generally he was shy of such
invitations, and had been accustomed to
refuse them.
But there was one thing that Mrs.
Wilkins was afraid of. Celestina Maria,
her only daughter, precocious, and
not over-mannered child of nine, was
what the French call terrible child,
being in the habit OF disclosing just
what her mother particularly desired
kept secret, and asking the most ON.
barrassing questions, which often put
her mother in cold SILVER, and made
her dreaded by all the widows callers.
In particular if any visitor had phys
ical popularity, Miss Celestina Maria
was pretty sure to make some remark
about it.
For instance, there was young lady
in the neighborhood, much esteemed,
who was unfortunate enough to have a
hump Oh her back, which was to her the
source of much secret modification.
One day the ladies sewing circle met at
the widows, and among those present
was this young lady. CeleStina, having
made the tour of the room, finally
brought up in front of Miss Graves, and
fixing her sharp eyes upon her, inquired
in a very audible voice:
"NIiss Graves, what makes that big
thing grow on your back? Don't it
hurt you any,?
OF course Celestina Maria was sent
from the room in disgrace, and there
was a painful and embarrassing silence
the face of poor Miss Graves being dyed
with crimson.
Now the widow was afraid thai after
she had successfully angled for Mr..
Worthington, and brought him to tho
house, her daughter might, by some
malapropos remark, spoil all her plans,
and send him away, never to return.
She would very willingly have dispensed
with the child's society. Indeed she
thought Of having her confined to her
chamber by some imaginary indisposi
ton, and then it is doubtful if the little
girl would have acquiesced without a
great deal of fuss, and moreover it might
be considered indiscreet to have nc
third person present So she made NJ
her mind to make the best OF it and dc
what she could to insure silence and
correct conduct on the part of the en-
FAINT terrible.
Mr.. Worthington arrived about hall
past four o'clock. His nose certainly
was long one. Speaking within
bounds, it was about thirty per cent
longer than noses in general, and being
very thin beside, its length was the
more prominent and remarkable.
As soon as he entered the room, &C.
lestiua Maria, as if fascinated, fixed hel
eyes upon the remarkable organ. Per
haps Mr.. Worthington felt the gaze, fol-
he raised his handkerchief three or foul
times, ostensibly to wipe his face, but
really to conceal his nose temporarily
or so Mrs. wilkins thought.
"Drat the child !" she said to herself
81 wish she would have the sense tc
look somewhere else than at Mr.
Worthingtons nose. She is the mos
peryerse child"
It would not be interesting to narratt
the conversation, commencing with the
state of the weather, which passed be
tween the widow and her guest during
the first half honr.
AT five o'clock the widow, feeling so
licitous about the supper, left the room
to give directions about it, fearing tina
the servant might not quite understand
what was required. With some missiv
ings she left Celestina Maria to enter
tain her visitor.
That young lady, not being bashful
edged mp to The bachelor, who, feeling
less difident with lady OF nine thar
OF tbirty-nine. invited her to place OIL
his knee. This she readily took.
"What's your name, my dear" h
asked.
"Celestina Maria"
Sand how old are youP"
"Nine years old. How old are you
"Ahem" coughed the bachelor
"Why do you ask?"
"Cause | want to know whether yo
are as old as my ma. She's forty-three
but she tells people she's thirty three
What makes her do that {? ! want to b
older so l can be great, big woma
and do what I please" .A..,
Here was q revelation which woul
' have made the widows hair stand o.