Omaha daily bee., 1883-02-24
IMPINTIHS.

"If the legislature eboli.hes the Office of
chaplain, says the Tombstone tArizons)
Epitaph, "some of the members will lose
an opportunity of hearing q minister Of the
gospel for the first time"
Norman Macleod's story Of q rather glut.
tonous Presbyterian minister who was used
p look at the dinner before saying grace
md If 1t was a good one began, "BOuntiful
Jehovah" etc. II 1t looked bad, "We ore
not, o Lord, worthy of the least Of thy
nercies."
Fact L." said the phy,ician. "you don't
take enough exercise" Don't take
enough exercise" exclaimed the patient in
establishment; why, doctor, I belong to
the Episcopal church and attend service
every Sunday. Fer heavens sake, what
moro would you havef"
A well.known Presbyterian clergyman
OF n OF the lower Delaware counties,
somewhat famous o. . wit, was approached
By . Baptist clergyman with the question:
well, brother. we are going to have Q
new bell for our church. What sort would
you recommend" There Wa . twinkle
behind the Presbyterian parsons glasses,
and be answered promptly, by all means,
. diving bell."
A little girl, reading the bible aloud to
her old grandmother, said: "And these five
children Milcah bore" "Read that again,
daughter, said the old lady, whose hear.
ing was not good sand these five chill.
dren Milcah bear" read the girl. "There,
that will do. said the grandmother; 'they
might milk q bear, honey, but they could
not milk . boar"
The hymn beginning, my sins were
washed away by the blood Of the Lamb"
as sung by the salvation Army Of Toronto,
was followed By what Is called a ssoed song
commencing, my tobacco was washed
away by the blood Of the Lamb" After
that the recruits" took their plugs Of
tobacco from their pockets and threw them
upon the floor In one corner Of the hall.
This performance was enacted In the clause
Of Christ.
At Springfield, Mass, . ~revivalist named
Fowler has been rendering service for Q
term at Grace Church. A careful footing
up Of the results of his mission shows that
he has made one convert. The question
now open for discussion Is whether or not
this one convert could have been won from
his wicked ways by the ordinary course of
effort on the part Of the pastor OF the
church without the aid of the r~evivalist.
At the close of o recent revival meeting
In Custer, Mich, one Of the brethren com.
planned to his pastor, the Rev. Andrew
Faulker, that In calling upon the various
members Of the church to lead In prayer be
had made an invidious discrimination
against the plaintiffs wife, and declared
that unless she were invited to lead of at
the next meeting he would avenge the
slight. Mr.. Faulkner, it appears,
is not the { man to be browbeaten,
nor is he deficient in the manly art of self.
defense; and 30 when the parishioner made
the threatened assault, it was not the pas.
tor who bit the dust.
This IL the greeting which q Texas paper
extends to the new pastor: 'The Rev.
Mr.. Glass, the preacher for the ensuing
year, has come. He has pretty good
clothes, doubtless purchased with means
saved by systematic starvation from his
salary Of last year, for he looks q little
lapk. II Is. perhaps, quite proper that
the world and especially. his church
members, should take his good clothes intS
confederation and deadbeat the Lord thi'
year. There Is nothing more to be appre
ciated than free religion"