Daily globe., 1883-05-27
PLEASANTRIES.

IHEKE are some promising young men
who are not careful about keeping their
word.
II SEE that winter is lingering in the
lap OF spring. The horrid thing "--
Susan 3.
a WIT being asked, on the failure Of
bank, "Were you not upset ?" replied,
NO; only lost my balance"
TEACHER to small boy: "What does
the proverb say about those who live in
glass houses?" Small boy: "Pull down
the blinds"
"CHARTTY vaunteth not itself, is not
puffed up" and yet some men expect a
puff every time they give 81 to an indi-
gent old woman's society.
A RUSSIAN proverb says: "Before go
ing to war, pray once; before going to
sea, pray twice; before getting married,
pray three times"
A RETURNED East Indian was compli-
mented on his genial disposition and
large heartedness. eyes," he replied,
ST need less heart, but more liver"
The Oil City Derrick thus sadly NOR
alizes GA great many men would
rather be a receiver Of a.-defunct insur-
ance company than a door tender in the
hcIse of the Lord
IT does aggravate a man to think that,
while his wife isn't afraid to tackle him
and nearly yank his head off, she is
madly terrorized by COW that he can
chase out OF the yard at any time.
WE look for the support of every old
woman in this county when we boldly
assert that there are not three members
of Congress who know to within three
hours when soft-soap is ready to wax
Detroit Free Press.
FROM the the album of the Countess
de B.: "Men always say, Eff you do
not love me, will Kill myself Later
on we say to them: IF you love me no
longer I shall die And, in the end,
nobody is buried"
ADMIRATION: "By shimminy, how
dot poy studies grammer," was the re-
mark of German when his son called
him "knock-kneed, pigeon-toed,
8even-sided, glazed-eyed son of saw
horse"
A MINISTER at Richmond, Va, recent
ly swooned while marrying his old
sweetheart to another man. If his part
Of the ceremony made him swoon, what
nerve the man who was married must
have had to stand up under it.-BoSton
Post.
A NOTED physician says many persons
simply by deep and rapid inhalations of
pure air, can become as intoxicated on
oxygen as if they had taken q draught
Of alcoholic stimulants. Here is point
for the man who has been walking rap
idly home from the club in the night
air.
"WEI1, Andrew" gentleman re.
marked to a Scotchman, who, with his
brother, was the only remnant of mar
row sect, 81 suppose you ard Sandy
are the only bodies who VII get to
heaven, now?" "Deed, ST." replied
Andrew, shaking his head, "an' I'm no
so sure about Sandy"
THERE was young lady in Worcester
So scared by crow of a rorcester,
That her mother cried, Hannah
I'm surprised at yourmannah!
Why don't you behave as you ucester?
A QUIET young man from Shanghai
INDUCED III piece of mince pal;
His lie work is DER
His form here
VIII visible be to the al.
AT whale exhibition, a youngster
asked his mamma If the whale that swal-
lowed Jonah had as large mouth as the
one before them why didn't Jonah walk
out at one corner. ''You must think
Jonah was afool he didn't want to walk
out and get drowned" was the quick re-
ply of younger brother, before the
mother could answer.
"THRAsHING by steam,'' % murmured a
fond mother as she glanced at an article
in an agricultural paper. "What git
ups they dohave now days. III had had
one Of those steam thrashers for my four
boys, my arms wouldn't have been as
rheumaticIy as they are to-day" and
she dreamily thought of the past as it
might have been.
Il CURIOUS rat STORY.
The Hon. Neal Dow contributes tc
the Co1ogregationalist the following
which he calls perfectly true story:
My house is supposed to be rat-proof,
and was SO when quite new; but at one
time, more than twenty years ago, we
had large colony Of the rodents, great.
ly to our annoyance, and it was with us
r