The Arizona champion., 1883-12-29
ALL SORTS.

Makes tracks--The railroad builder
 Financial circlce-$Q) ,000 ,000.
 The dentist is facile forseps in his profession.
 Brought down the house-The build ing mover.
 Tempora mutantur-We have adopted the new time.
 Josh Billings has made his success by throwing q peculiar spell over the public.
 Though cleanliness be next to godli' ness, dirty bank-notes influence the most earnest devotion.
 Even the lowest-priced hand organ costs s25. There's no going into busi- ness nowadays without capital.
 A New York woman keeps q coach dog to match her freckles. She proba- bly calls him "Spot."
 England is preparing to protect her interests in China. That must be what is meant by bull in china shop.
 A miss is not as good as a mile, for Miss has only two feet, while mile has 5,2S0. Shoot the maxim maker.
 Thomas Slynsby Dudley Pager In gram has gone wrong in Cincinnati. He will be greatly missed by tie directory man.
 lt is easy to pick out q journalist in the crowded street, because he is the only person who always keeps to the write
 Patti always has the best of every thing. A cold in her head costs her s5,008 night, when it is powerful enough to keep her from singing.
 Cockroaches, it is said, have $3, ,000 teeth. As much as we hate the crea- lures, we should feel bad for cock roach with the toothache.
 A missionary tells story of Zulu chief who embraced Christianity at once when told it meant only one wife, The tawny gentleman was in search of peace.
 There is no doubt that tobacco is in JuilOho NO " the first time We tried it, and we were the sickest boy in three counties.
 Of the Parsee there are only 20,000 in the world. They are not of numer- ically to the Smiths, to say nothing of the Smithes and Smythes.
 "There's room at the top," is good motto for bald headed men, Cincin- nati Merchant Traveller. No. very de- sirable room, for there's no air.
 Tine yearly ratio of suicides is the lowest in Naples of any of the great cities. The injunction to "See Naples and die" does not seem to be strictly obeyed.
 A Frenchman claims to have invented a paper which is combustible Let some of our essayists get hold of it, and they will make it dry enough to burn.
 There are said to be l 1 ,000 one-legged men in the United States. One ne-legged men form the most peaceful and sub missive element of our population. They never kick.
 Gen. Hazen has the greatest sym pathy for the False Prophet of Egypt. The General has had charge of the United States weather for number of years, and knows all about it.
 Cheeky Passenger-"Any fear O my disturbing the magnetic currents, cap tain, by goin' near the compass ?" Captain-"Oh, no, sir. Brass has no effect on it whatever, sir"
 Emperor Francis Joseph says he despiSes cards and does not know an ace from jack, The~ is something wrong here. When man despises cards it is because he knows altogether too much of them.
 "llow is Johnny doing at school ?" asked lady of Johnnie's mamma dur ing call. "Splendidly. He talks in two languages now" 'Dear me what are they, French or German?' ooh, no. English and proiane."
 A man on Fremont street, near Tenn pie Place, with a placard on his back advises people to go to a certain doctor to have their corns cured. This man had but one leg and no toes on the re- maining foot, Is that the way to cure cOrns?