davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-09-10
OLLOQUY
a Little Common Gossip Gathered by a Bos-
well Reporter.

"Would it hurt your feelings, Colonel, if 1
should interview yOu4" considerably asked a
Journal reporter of Colonel James H. Rice.
"About marrimony4" was the alarmed inquiry
Of the great matrimonial prOcrastinator.
"Nay, nay, Bruised and Bleeding Heart"-the
Colonel's heart, as characterized by "a classic re-
mark, is somewhat disfigured, but still in the
~ring-"noL about matrimony, but a matter-of-
money"
"They are about the same. But go on"
What do you intend to do in regard to the
matter of repairing the treasury vaults and
safes, as directed by the Governor"
81 haven't examined the law bearing upon the
matter yet" answered the auditor.
sit seems from the rep.lG of the experts that
the vaults and safes are in bad condition." re-
marked the reporter.
Eyes, the vaults, 1 think, need tacks."
"Tacks2"
eyes, revenue tax"
1t can hardly he inferred that the Colonel's re-
mark has reference to the several hundred thou
sands of dollars OF public funds which the State
treasurer, in violation of law, has loaned to
banks and capitalists.
AS the reporter was about to leave, the Colo mel
called OUT, "Hold on" and leaning on his desk
with both elbows, sighed a mournful, matri-
inonlal sign. II was evident that the Colonel
-SN ~ W VIZ ~
porter walked back to him.
Isl. Sherrin is married." he remarked, with a
sympathy-sOl1citing side-glance.
yes"
The Colonel heaved up another sigh, and a
square yard of the ceiling simultaneously DIS
appeared through the roof.
THE papers have said nothing for several
DAYS about your getting IN arried, Colonies" in
terrogated the reporter,
mo, they are neglecting ne"
Colonel" the reporter continued to ask, after
a moments pause, "dld you write this dispatch
to an Anderson young lady last Wet -esdayf'
and the following message was read:
"1NDIANAPOLls Sept. 5.-Can't come, 1 am
with you in spirit. but L am afraid the other fell
low is in fact. Your RICE"
'Is it yours2'
"Comanche Bill has betrayed me 1 cannot
lie. is mine"
"Comanche Bill" it may be explained, is an
anpellati0n which Colonel Rice has seutled upon
Hon. William r. Meyers, Secretary of State.
MAY I announce, Colonel" asked the re-
porter, that the genial James Fl. Rice, Auditor
of State, will shortly lead to the altar Miss 3"
"Yes-Miss Take"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-09-10

Agente Howe Scale 90,
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-09-10
Fall Hunting.

We are prepared to show the trade and hunt
ers a very fine selection of Sporting Goods
Breech and Muzzle Loading Shot Guns, single
aud double barrel, Ammunition, Equipments,
&c. Call and examine our stock before pur-
chasing. HTLDERAND & FUGATE,
IS South Meridian street.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-09-10

LATE-sTYLE hats at Seaton's Hat Store, %
North Pennsylvania street.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-09-10

THEY are certainly showing a great variety Of
new fancy shirts at Parkers,
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-01
Directions for SeIf-COntrOl.

No human power can be so strength
ened by practice as this power of self
control. Every successful moral con-
fict leaves the victor so much stronger
with so much more gocd-for the
next time The way to conquer tempta-
ton is to fix the mind upon some other
object. 1t is bad policy to keep say
ing over, II will not yield to this" for
then the object is kept before the mind,
but the mind should resolutely be
turned to some other thing Instead of
brooding over wrongs and he'slights
inflicted upon us by friends, the remedy
is not to say, II will not think about il, I"
but to turn the mind to some other
channel. Frequently the morose feel
ings are the result of some bodily de-
rangement, often the liver. Nothing is
worse than brooding. In periods of de-
preston, Dr.. Carpenter said he had
found much relief in reading SCOTS
novels.-Pr0f w. 3. Carpenter.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-01
Pears

Over 1900 years ago Pliny wrote
All pears whatsoever are but heavy
meat unless boiled or baked" and it is
probable that the varieties cultivated at
that early date could hardly have been
anything but small in size and bitter in
taste. But when Pliny recorded this
famous opinion he wrote for his time,
and the idea is as little worthy of consid-
Grafton to-day as the philosophers real
knowledge of the truth at the present
day must have been limited. Pears are
regarded at the present time as among
the most wholesome and nutritious fruits.
Baking or boiling may improve them for
weak digestive organs, but eaten raw and
freely at all times they are productive of
a fine blood and healthy skin. The
amount of real nutriment they contain is
hardly equal to that of apples, but the
fine and delicate juices are hardly ex-
celled by any other fruit. Pears are
coming to be regarded as one of the
staple fruit crops, and a great deal of
attention is being paid to their culture
and marketing.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-01
The Reckless Bee.

An experimenter in Southern agri-
culture told me the following historiette
of Northern bees in the South. He
took a colony of the gratuitous honey
makers down to Florida. The first year
they revealed, throve and stored honey
nearly all the UNMARRIED summertime.
But the second year a few of the more
reflective bees evidently turned the
thing over in their minds thus: "This
country has no winter to provide
against; what is the use of laying up
honey where the flowers blossom all the
year round?" These bees exerted
enough influence among their friends to
keep good many bees from laying by
any sweet merchandise the second year
Of their exile.
But the prudential instinct so strong
in the little insect prevailed with the
majority. They evidently said to them
selves; Perhaps this has been an ex-
ceptional year. Next season may bring
cold and snow and dearth of flowers.
SO there was quite stock of honey laid
by on the second year in spite of few
strikers. But by the third year the con-
viction had evidently entered the bee
mind that it was foolish to lay up in q
land of eternal blossom. They made
Just enough to last from day to day, and
abandoned themselves to living from
hand to mouth as recklessly as does
any tropic butterfly.-W Washington Ga
-ptYo
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-01
An Authority on Beans.

The Sunday morning bean carr is not
as profitable as it used to be in some
quarters OF New England. Within the
past few years the cost OF beans, of
pork, and OF labor has increased. while
the price of the classic products hot
from the place of cooking has been
raised but SLIGHTLY The farmer rather
than the manipulation of the venerable
in the bakehouse, is enriched by the
trade in this article Of diet, which phi
losophers eat and at which the incon-
siderate sneer,-BoSt0n Daily AdUer-
tiSeg.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-01
she Was Not Qualified.

Nr. Peterson Chaffey advertised re-
Gently for cOlored servant. Among
the so-called colored ladies who APP
piled, was Miss Susannah Grow. She
was willing to 90 the work, and receive
the SO month, provided her condi-
tons were conceded to. She wanted
quite number Of concessions, and
among them immunity from anything
like work.
Il wants it understood that I ain t
Gwine ter fotch no water nor wood inter
Ge kitchen, and somebody has got ter
sit up in de morning and make de fire
in de stove"
"Of course not, Susanah. Nobody
would expect you to do those things.
Whenever You want fire made, or
wood and water brought in, just ring
the bell for Mrs. Chaffey, and order her
to bring in what Won want"
"And Use not gwine ter do no scrub
bin, and no washin' oh de dishes. No
culled lady in Austin does de like oh
dat
"Of course not, Miss Grow I always
make my wife and daughters do the
drudgery about the house. If at any
time they DO not speak respectfully to
you, just let me know, and 1 viii see
that it does not occur again"
81 believes I'll come on de fust oh de
mumf"
Before hiring you, Miss Grow, ]
want to ask you few questions"
What does yer want ter know?"
Can you play on the piano? Can
you render .Beethoven's immortal sym
phonies with the proper musical ex-
pression?"
'No. Ssh, but 1 sings camp-meetin
tunes"
linen 1 am afraid you Will not suit
the family at all. While my wife i,
washing the dishes, and doing the
scrubbing, want the cook to play on
the piano, and receive company. I am
afraid You will not fill the bill Just
get OF here you old charcoal fraud!" Sc
he opened the gate, and turned her out
into the street, black looks, sass and all
-TerGS SJttngS.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-01
THE DEADLY SNAKE HOLE.
A Visit Which Charley Campbell Made and
Found Them all at Home.
from the Fresno Cali Expositor.l


From the Fresno (Cal) Expositor.l
A thrilling adventure recently took
place at the. White Rock quartz mine on
the north side af San Joaquin, in Fine
Gold district, which for nerve and dar-
ing is equal to anything we have ever
heard of. There is an old shaft on the
mine which had been unused for years,
and recently it became necessary to clear
it out and use it in working the mine
The shaft is about thirty feet deep, per-
pendicularly, with an incline of thirty
feet more. A number of rattlesnakes
had taken possession of the inclosure,
probably in the start by falling down
the shaft, and by breeding had increased
till the whole bottom seemed like a
w1ithing mass of reptiles. At first an
effort was made to clean them out by
discharging giant powder cartridges at
the bottom of the shaft, but this pro-
cess only succeeded in killing such of
the snakes as changed to be at the top
Of the incline, and as a last resort one
of the workmen, Charles Campbell,
agreed to go to the bottom and kill the
horrible venomous reptiles, whose hiss
ing and rafting could be plainly heard
at the top of the shaft. Procuring a
quantity of antidotes for snake-poison.
and making all needed preparations fo1
raising and lowering the adventurous
man who was about, as it were, to place his
life in his own hands, Charles Campbell
was lowered into the shaft by his tremb-
ling fellow laborers. He was armed
only with lantern and small stick.
The stencil occasioned by the poisoned
breaths of the rattlesnakes was almost
overpowering, but nothing daunted he
proceeded on his errand. Reaching the
bottom of the shaft he gradually
CROPPED his way down the steel
and slippery incline, stopping evel
and anon to kill veno
nous RATHER that impended his way
Reaching the bottom he piled his stick
with vigor, while the mass of snakes
squirmed and ratified, their eyes spark
ling like diamonds and their forked
tongues tapping the air as they moved
| their heads in the intensity of their fury
or struck with their poisoned fangs al
the brave man that had dared encroacl
on their quarters and give them battle
Rapidly they fell over in the agonies o.
death under the unnerring blows from
his ive-oak stick till not single one
was left alive. Thirteen large snakes
with from seven to nine rattles each
were killed, and two with fourteen anC
fifteen rattles respectively. In addition
a number of younger ones were de
stroyed. Finishing his daring labors he
returned to the bottom of the shaft anC
was hauled out, but the sickening ant
poisonous air of the snake-den so over
come him that he tainted away on reach
ing the top. Restoratives were admin
istered and he was taken to his home
where he lay sick two or three days.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-01
He Wanted to Pose.

A resident of Park street had o pho
tographer come up for the purpose of
taking view of his residence, and the
nan of the camera had just got in posi-
ton when along came an old coon with
buck-saw ON his arm and wanted to
know what was up.
Going to photograph the house."
was the reply.
"Then [ guess I'll pose" remarked
the old man. "I'll take a position at
the left of the gate and represent the
statue of Industry"
The members of the family came out
and arranged themselves, and the man
called out:
Here, old man, you want to get out
of that"
Cant represent Industry" y
"No, sir"
Cant stand over there and repre-
sent LaZiness?"
80, sly! We don't want you in the
group at all"
"Lemme represent the Sleeping
Beauty"
"You go away"
He drew off to one side, the passing
teams halted to give the artist chance,
a directly the plate was made. Every
body rushed forward when it was ready
for inspection, and the cid man was one
of the first. As the plate was held up
he giggled and tickled, and finally
burst into loud laugh. He had lodged
around the corner of the house and his
full figure was revealed behind the
family.
what do you represent in that atti-
tude?" Gternly inquired the photogra-
pher.
We'll, I reckon that's a pretty good
pose for Contentment."
Very well. [ Will now represent
Dissatisfaction"
And the artist took the festive old
chap by the ear and walked him out OF
the crowd and put in a couple of kicks
which changed the pose of Contentment
to that of Sorrow.-DetrOH Free Press
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-01
Agony in q Dry Well.

For twenty year an old man of Mon
tezuma county, Georgia, whom we will
call Jack Baldwin, has cultivated the
soil and drawn therefrom a support for
himself and wife; he is childless,. One
day Jack left his house in search of a
missing cow His route led him through
al old wornout piece of clay land, of
about six acres in extent, in the center
of which was well-about twenty or
thirty feet deep, that at some time had
probable furnished the inmates of di-
lapidated house near by with water
In passing the spot an Ill wind drifted
Jacks hat from his head and malicious
ly waited it to the edge of the well, and
it tumbled. Now Jack had always
practiced the virtue of economy, and lie
Immediately sat upon recovering his
hat. He ran to the well, and finding it
was dry at the bottom, he unrolled the
rope which he had brought for the pur-
pose of capturing the COW, and after
several attempts to catch the hat with
a moose, ne concluded to save time by
going down into the well himself, TO
accomplish this he made fast one end of
the rope to stump hard by, and was
soon on his way COVE into the we'll. It
was fact of which Jack was less OBJ
vious than the reader hereof-that o
miscellaneous fellow whom we will call
Neal was in the old building and saw
Jack go down into the well, and it hap
pened that Jacks old blind horse was
near by with q. bell on his neck. The
devil himself, or some other wicked
spirit, put it into Meals head to have
little fun; so he slipped up to the old
horse, unbuckled the strap and ap-
preached the we'll with the bell in his
hand, ting-a-ting. Jack thought the
old horse was coming, and said in an
audible tone, Hang the old blind horse
he's comm this way, sure, and he amt
got no more sense than to fall in here
on me-wo, BALL" But the sound of
the bell came closer, and Jack was rest
ing at the bottom of the well. "Great Je-
rusaleml" said Jack "the old blind fool
will be right on top of me in mint
wo, Ball-wo, haw, Ball!' Just then
Neal got closer to the we'll and kicked a
little dirt on Jacks head. Jack thought
Ball was about to come, got close to the
side of the wall and began to pray, ooh,
Lord, have mercy on me-wo Ball-a
poor sinner. I'm gone now; wo Ball
Our father who art in-wo Ball
Heaven, hallowed be Thy-jee! Ball,
iee-name. Now lay me down to 81
jee, Ball out of your ivers! Gust then
in fell more dirt Back, Ball; oh Lord,
if you ever intended to do anything for
me, back, Ball, wo, no! Thy kingdom
come-jee, Ball!"
Neal could hold in no longer, and show
ed himself at the top of the well, with a
big hoarse. laugh, which might have
been heard two miles. This was more
that Jack could bear and he started up
the rope like a monkey. Blame your
pictures. I'll give you fits; I'll make
your ears ring worse'n that bell" Neal
took to his heels and ran like a quarter
horse, and the last that was seen of him
he was half a mile from the well, with
two big dogs grabbing at his coat, and
Jack was close behind him, yelling at
the dogs.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-01
The Revised Bible.

You see pa has been reading out of
an Old back number of the Bible, and
ma and me argued with him about get
ting new revised edition. We told
him that the old one was all out of
style, and that all the neighbors had
the newest cut in Bibles, with dolman
sleeves, and gathered in the back, and
they put on style over us, and we could
rot hold up our heads IN society when
it was known that we were wearing the
old last years Bible. Pa kicked against
il. nut finally got one. I thought haG
as much right to change things in the
revised Bible. as the other fellows had
10 change the cid one, so pasted some
notices and patent medicine advertise
ments in it, after the verses. Pa never
reads whole chapter, but reads verse
or two and skips around. Before break
fast, the other morning, pa got the new
Bible and started to read the ten COM
mandments, and some other things.
The first thing pa struck was, Verify [
say unto you, try st. Jacobs oil for
rheumatism Pa looked over his specks
at ma, and then looked at me, but I had
my face covered with my hands, sort of
pious. Pa said he didn't think it was
just the thing to put advertisements in
the Bible, but ma said she didn't know
as it was any worse than to have patent
medicine notice next to Beecher'S SER
mon IN the religious paper. Pa sighed
and turned over few leaves and read,
"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's
wife, nor his OK, if you love me as I love
you no knife can cut our love in two"
That last part was motto that got
out of paper of candy. Pa said that
| the sentiment was good, but he didn't
think the revisers had improved the old
commandment very much. Then pa
turned over and read "Take little wine
for the stomach's sake, and keep bot
tie of Reeds Gilt Edge Tonic on your
side-board, and you can defy malaria,
and chills and fever" Pa was hot He
looked at it again, and noticed that the
tonic commandment was on yellow pa
per, and the corner curled up, and pa
took hold of it, and the paste that 1
stuck it on with was not good, and it
came off, and when [ saw pa lay down
the Bible, and put his spectacles in the
case, and reach for the fre-poker, I
knew he was not going to pray, and
! looked out of the window and yelled
dog-fght. and lit out, and pa followed
me as far as the sidewalk, and it was
that morning when it was so slippery,
and pas feet slipped out from under
him, and he stood on his neck, and slid
around on his ear, and the sleet on the
| sidewalk saved me- PecE'S Sam
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-01
'.The Old TimeS'' in the South.

In various parts of Louisiana I found
many people who had lived on some Of
the great plantations before the war,
and heard their accounts of the pecu-
liar life of the inhabitants of some of
these rich, retired regions in the inter-
ior of the State The planters had con-
siderable wealth, for that time, and
they and their families lived life of
elegant, refined leisure" with little
business or care except pleasure and
happiness All supplies for the plan
tation came from New Orleans mer-
chants. Once year the young ladies
had bonnets, and sometimes gowns,
from Paris. Visits and parties and
balls were the events of life. The
young people had good education !;
many OF them were sent to northern
schools, but the sonth had good schools
and colleges ii -,,',e days. l Go not
doubt thar / TO the people iv-
ing it pure ;,.4,, .ocent life, happy
and wholesome, and - natural and sta
rle that it was Likely to go on forever
1--WE did not know it was wrong"
| said an accomplished woman to me one
day. mo one had ever told us it was
all wrong, or that we were going on
gayly toward an awful destruction.
| We knew no world but our own. We
thought we were very happy, and we
meant to be good. We were much at
tached to our people-the negroes, 1
mean-and they were happy, too, then.
| We heard sometimes of low, miserable
wretches who abused their negroes, and
how We despised theml"
Would you rather have it all back,
that old time and that beautiful life,
| if you could?" ] asked.
ooh, 70; think it is just like one of
the great changes. revolutions, that we
read about in history! It ali had to be,
1 should think, and so it must be there
is Providence III 1t it must be for the
best in some way.--4tGntic MO11thly.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-01
observations About the Baby.

The baby does not belong to the ami
NAL kingdom /; the animal kingdom be-
longs to him. He is a King. In fact,
he is always aching. However, a baby
is often spoken of as this wheat Great
ure;" which is why they cradle him.
You can't shock him. He is not q
creature comfort. The baby is some
times called an infant, IN fanciful allu-
sion to infantry, which he is thought to
resemble because he is generally found
with arms about him. Bless the baby
boston transcript
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-01
How to Catch Eurglar's Portraits.

The burglar-alarm now in use, true
to its name, alarms the burglar, and he
Is away. Instead Of ringing the alarm,
let it he set so turn or momentarily the
full glare Of electric light, and at the
Same instant have It expose plate in a
camare al ready 70 take an instantane-
ous picture. The burglar of course
viii take TO fight, but will leave his
photograph bsaiad The same blaze of
ight which mas alarmed him Will
awaken the sleeping inmates, who can
proceed at once to the camera and Sc
crg2 he negative. In order, however,
tl.at the camera should be set at the
right focus the alarm used should be an
electric mat set in certain place on
Jhe licor, shat SPOT being covered by the
foc:.s Of the camera.-E. S. BrO1cn, Ia
Scientific Americdn.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-01
HUMOR.

WHOEVER doubts that the newspapers.
have mission should enter car and
see how useful they are to the men
when fat woman with big basket is
looking around for d seat.-LOaceJI
Courier.
WIDOW woman Ito chemist, who was
weighing grain of calomel in dispen-
sing prescription for her sick child:
"Man, We medina be sac scrimpy wiz
tbs for a puir faitherless bairnl"
SAID crafty husband to his business.
partner: ''I have promised my wife an
immense surprise on her birthday"
"More Extravaganza" Il shall give her
nothing; it will be an immense sur
prise!"
LIGHTNING struck contribution plate
in Western church just a. The deacon
was passing it around This is the
first time anything has struck this plate
for three MONTHS" said the deacon
thoughtfully.
BILL NYE is not Mormon. He gives
out as his platform, zone country, one,
flag and one wife" Bill says he "has
never pinned to make the marriage reg
lister Of his family Bible to look like
hotel register"
A SPLENDID dog fell overheard from
a steamer. The captain refused to stop
for anything short of drowning man.
"You will stop for me. of course" said
the gentleman, who leaped overheard.
OF course master and dog were saved
Cambridge Tribune.
A SLIPPERY answer. Schoolmistress
Nov, Matilda Ann, look up and tell
me what first caused the fall of man"
No answer. "You are very stupid, after
having just read all about it. What
fruit was ftp" Matilda Ann-"Please.
marin! please. marin! orange-peel."