davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-06-13
WIT AND PLEASANTLY.

A jersey City undertaken advertises that
he furnishes 'every requisite for funeral"
He must be doctor as well as an under
tsker.
There are 100000 more females than
males in the United States, and yet people
continue TO ask why women kiss each other.
Boston Transcript.
Scotch minister-"John, John, Pm afraid
you are on the broad road.' Inebriste par
ishioner-"Weel, minister, as far as I'm con-
cerned the breadth is a. required"
81 don't like to have my husband chew
tobacco" remarked young married lady;
"but put up with it, for the tin foil is just
too handy for anything in doing up my front
crlmpsP'
Inductive ressoning-Mr. William
Doodle: Eyes, Miss Frost; 1 always wear
gloves at night; they make ones hands so
soft" Miss Frost: "AhI and do you sleep
with your hat on2"
"Don't you think that have good face
for the stsge2" asked lady with histrionic
aspirations. 81 don't know about the stage"
replied her gallant companion, shut you
have lovely face for q buss."
He stands upon the pavement
And wrestles with the breeze;
He looks in through the window,
And this is what he sees:
Lights low, q combination
OF mOustache and of curl
Another fellows hugging
The other fellows girl.
Dumas one day called upon lady to pre-
sent her with copy of bis last play. a
physician was present, who sneered: "Still
dabbliDg in tIsgedies2" The dramatst an
swered: "Come, doctor; no jealousy You
know nobody can mistake my works for
yours, as all your tragedies are bound in
mshogany-mine in morocco"
When Scotchman answers q question he
settles the matter in dispute once for sll. On
a certain occasion the question was ask ID
''Why was Mary Queen of Scots born at
Linlitbgowf" Sandy Kerr promptly answer
ed, s'Because her mither was staying thers,
SIR" and there actually seemed to be moth
ing more to say on the subject.
The young married man Of the Denver
Tribune has learned that no man can take
of bis psntalcons at night without waking
his sleeping partner by tumbling every
thing out of the pockets; also, that she will
90 through those same pockets next morn
ing go noiselessly that even the mice are
not startled. When he is an old married
man he will get up and start the fire him.
self.
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-06-13

The untold miseries that result from indiscre
ton in early life may be alleviated and cured
Those VINO doubt this assertion should purchase
and read the new medical published by the Pea
body Is edical Institute, Boston. entitled the
Science of Life; or, Self-Pre servatiOn. It bis
hood, Exhausted Vitality. Nervous and Pa yslcal
Debility. Premature Decline in Man, Errors of
Youth, etc, but IL con- aims Us prescriptions for
acute and chronic diseases, each one of which Is
invaluable so proved by the author. whose expert
ence for q years is such as probably never before
fell TO the lot of any physician. 1t contains 800
pages bound in mbOssed covers, full gilt embel-
lshed with the very finest steel engrevings, guar
anteed TO be g finer work IN every sense-me-
chanicaI, literary or professional-than any other
work reta1led IN this country for 81 50. or the
money will be refunded. Price only Sl.25 by mail
Gold Medal awarded the author by the National
Medical Association. Illustrated samele sent on
receipt of six GEMS. Send now.
Address PEABODY MEDICAL lNSrITUr E, or
Dr.. ". II. PARKER, No. Bullfnch street, Bos-
Oh, Mass The author may he consulted on al
iseases raduiTing skill and experience.
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-06-13
TAD,S NEK LEAF.

There was a storm brewing. Only one
pair of eyes had taken no:e it, but the
winds, like herslds, were scurrying in ad-
vance with breathless haste to announce tho
news.
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-06-13
SCROEULA.

HOOPS SARsAPARILLA is sold by all Drug.
gists. Price 81 per bottle; six for IS. Pre-
nared by C. / HOOD s co. Lowell. Mass.
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-06-13

they call tine staple Of bz1essl"
"But 1t has not been profitable to you, my
poor boy. Suppose you try the truth for 3
change, and see how it works. I'll help you,
and my brother will, too"
ats wenter, it is,' answered Tod, as if
he was attempting voyage in unknown
seas; "but I'll try willp
And Nelly WAS forced to accept this
somewhat doubtful result as the sum of her
achievement in missionary effort. But
when, a week or two after, Tod, clothed in
one of Bob's suite, was on the eve of de-
psrture with that errstic young man to
some new gold field, he said, with SORT of
awkward laugh that concealed the trembling
Of his voice
"Pm a-g0in' to turn over that new leaf
now, Miss Nelly, spick and span one, and
it went have single lie wrote onter it,"
The words eheeTed Nelly somewhat IN the
loneliness that followed. Her daily toll WAS
unpronnisIng enough, but che tried to feel
that, as che was only sowing seed, and in
very sterile soil. she must not look for bud
or blossom, much less for fruit, at once.
She heard Eeldom from Bob, but he SEEM
ed prosperiDg. He had found new "pard,
ss he called him-s man who seemed to
have some shrewdnees; but Nelly had
doubx about his being a very edifying CON-
panicn for her brother. However, they
were making money together, and Tod was
serving them ike slave.
She was weary and lonely enough, but IA
ture wac q perpetual feast TO her, and she
often found herself, after a tiresome day at
the school, taking in courage and vigor from
the everlasting hills that stretched about
her twill look unto the hills from whence
cen eth my help" she murmured. "Ah,
Re knew the heart. How steadiast and I'M
movable things help "a, even in the moro
contemplation, among the chances of this
mortal life"
1t wEs CD a suHshiny November day that
! she stood with this thought in her mind
The Press., 1883-05-31
TERRIBLE SUFFERING.

Kidney and Bladder Complaints of
 Many Years DuratiOM-gHisW Word
 Good as GO2d-Case of City As-
 SessOr Francis esOmard, S9
 Sumner SG., Lowell sMa ass.
 His word is as good bank note at any bank in Lowell, and know it." was the opinion of well known citizen in speaking of City Assessor Francis Gomard. Your reporter found Mir. Gomard at his pleasant home, (which, with many others, adorns Sumner street and fronts the charming park of South Common. MT. Gomard said, ''I had been, as many of my friends in Lowell know, great sufferer from kidney and urinary troubles for long time, My physician said it the result of diseased kidneys and enlargement of the prostate gland. I had suf- fered terribly, and although my doctors treatment had been the best which this city afforded, got nc better. said finally, Doctor, it's use You have done all that is in your power to do, l know that but must get help from some other source or die. Finally was induced to try Dr. Kennedy's FAVO, RITE REMEDY, a medicine which had been recom' mended very highly for kidney diseases. l received help at once. It has acted like charm with me Why so? Dr. Kennedys FAVOnITE REMEDY If an honest preparation, and know it. didn't thlnh anything would help me, but this has given me bet ter health than any medicine prescribed for me have recommended it to many of my friends inthe city of Lowel.and with the same result. They think there is nothing like Dr. Kennedy's FAVO RITE REMEDY"
 What MT. Gomard says can be depended upon, a' any one acquainted with the gentleman knows.
The Press., 1883-05-31
IA CH1oAeo MANI remarks an exchange

"A CHICAGO MANI remarks an exchange, recently refused, at the last minute, to go to the bridal haltar, He still remains Sir-sin- gle." That young mans hesitancy reminds one of the conduct of persons who have Ga tarrh. They nse snuffs, irritating liquid in- iections and other injurious nostrums, only too often. The delicate nasal membranes be- come infamed and finally diseased Elys Cream Balm is not liquid or snuff, and is easily applied. It is pleasant yet certain cure for Catarrh. Apropos of this subject the Pittston, Pa., Gazette recently said: 'sMany persons in Pittston and vicinity are using Ely's Cream Balm, Catarrh remedy, with most satisfactory results. lady down town has recovered her sense of smell which she had not enjoyed for fifteen years She had given up her case as hopeless" 50 cents
 CURE YouRsELF.-Don't pay large doctors bills The best medical book published, LOG pages, elegant colored plates, will be sent you on receipt of two cent stamps to pay post age. Address A. P. Ordway & Co.,, Boston Maca
The Press., 1883-05-31
FOR SALE BY ALL FIRsT-cLAss JEWELER
TALMAGE ON HUSKING.
Ears of Corn that Don't Mind 1t, and
 Others Lhal Do.
12apaln


 My hearers,' shouted Rev. Dr. Tamage, from his pulpit in Brooklyn Tabernacle, on bright Sunday morning last November, "going at the rate of forty miles an hour last Wednesday, got this sermon on husking God has arranged that the ear and the husk shall be parted. Every rheumatic pam is but a thrust of the huskng-peg; every neuralgia twinge is only twist of the husker, Thus he takes away what flinders your souls liberation"
 Poetry is permitted to preachers but the fact is, nobody wauts to be husked, does any one believe that the body IS to the soul what the husk is to the corn. On the other hand, Nature teaches us to fight this husking process. Hence most people are thank full for whatever can abate those "rheumatc pans' and 'neuragc twinges."
 That, at least was the view taken of the subject by M. Alfred Bear, French gentleman who, at his pleasant home, Grcenmont, near Sing Sing N. Y, said, the other day to a reporter
 ''My life has at times been rendered almost ntol- dies without result. But Parkcr's Ginger Tonic gave me great satisfaction. You may tell Messieurs His COX & O., of New York-the propretors-that cer- hfy to its perfect efficacy the Tonic has complete y restored my health. Please say, also, that they are welcome to use my name and ask them to accept my thanks added the courteous Parisian.
 Rheumatism IS symptom of kidney disease, not an affection of the joints muscles. Parkers Gin ger Tonic purifes the Blood and acts with success beyond that of all other preparations in of Dys- pepsa, Liver, Kidney and Stomach disorders and in common Coughs and Colds. Prices, 50 cents and $1 per bottle. The latter the more economical.
The Press., 1883-05-31
Some Old School-boOks.

have been back to my home again,
 To the place where was born. I have heard the wind from the stormy main Go rustling through the corn have seen the purple hills once more;
 have stood on the rocky coast Where the waves storm inland to the shore; But the thing that touched me most Was little leather strap that kept | Some school-b books, tattered and torn. I sighed, smiled, I could have wept,
 When I came on them one morn; For I thought of the merry little lad,
 In the mornings sweet and cool, If weather was good or weather bad, r-
 Go whistling of to school My fingers undid the strap again,
 And thought how my hand has changed, And half in loving, and half in pain,
 Backward my memory ranged. There was the grammar knew so we'll
 didn't remember rule; And the old blue speller-I used to spell
 Better than any in school; And the wonderful geography
 I've read on the green hillside, When told myself I'd surely see ...r { All lands in the world so wide, s..& From the Indian homes in the far, far west
 To the mystical Cathay. | l
 When the evening shades fall gray And there was the old arithmetic,
 All tattered and stained with tears. and Jamie and little Dick
 Were together in by-gone years. Jamie has gone to the better land;
 And I get, now and again, A letter in Dicks bold. easy hand
 From some great western plain. .l | TIL H. That hadn't some memory Of days that seemed like golden age, Of friends shall no more see. And so I picked up the books again l And buckled the strap once more, And brought them over the tossing main;
 Come, children, and look them Der. And there they lay on little stand,
 Not far from the Holy Book; And his boys and girls with loving care
 Der grammar and speller look. He said, ''They speak to me, children dear,
 Of past without annoy; q And the Book of books in promise clear
 Of future full of joy" S. .-st
The Press., 1883-05-31

GIVEN UP BY DOCTORS. it possible that MT. Godfry is up and at work, and cured by so simple remedy?" ''I assure you it is true that he Is entirely cured and with nothing but Hop Bitters j; and only ten days ago his doctors gave him up and said he must die!"
 "Well-a-day! That's remarkable! I will go this day and get some for my poor George T know hops are good"
The Press., 1883-05-31
The following letters tell their
 own story:

FALDosTA, GEORGIA, July 20, 1882.
 'I sold one of your Patent Dust Proof Cases about ten months ago. and the other day it back to with the request to make it wind easer On exami- nation found that the was rusty, and inquired into the of it. The gentleman stated to me that he was starting some saw-logs that had lodged in the bend of the river, when his chain caught in bush and threw his watch into about twelve feet of water, and he was about two hours finding it. When he got it out it running, and he thought all right. In about tbree months he found that the was hard to turn and sent it to me.
 I can say that the watch is all that the company claims for it, and recommend it to all railroad and mill men. B. w. BENTLEY"
The Press., 1883-05-31
THE NEW PATENT
 DUST-PROOF STEM WINDING OPEN FACE CASE.
 MANUFACTURED RY THE American Watch Co.,,
MANUFACTURED RY THE
wALTHAM, M ASS.

This case is formed in solid piece without joint or seam, opening in FRONT ONLY, thus avoiding the usual CAP, and scouting greater strength and dura- bility.
 These Watches are all OPEN FACE. The bezel, into which an extra strong crystal is fitted with especial ly prepared waterproof cement, is attached to the case by screwlng it thereon, and thus forms an air tight junction with the body of the case, which is proof against dust and moisture. ,,.
 To railroad men, travellers, miners, lumber-men and others who are almost constantly exposed and who have to make frequent reference to the watch, these qualities are of the utmost importance.
The Press., 1883-05-31
Bethel Ledger: It may not be so but

Bethel Ledger: It may not be so, but the story goes that certain ''Deutcher'' who applied to the Fairfield county com missioners for liquor license was at first denied as being 'not 8 suitable person, ) whereupon he indignantly asked them a question whose awkward candor so amused the commissioners that they reversed their decision. Here is what the Dutchman asked them: ''Vell, if I ain't goot enough to sell liquor, den for Gott's sake what am I good for?"
The Press., 1883-05-31

WHAT's SAVED IS GAINED. D.-Worhngmen will economiez by employing Dr. Pierce's Medicines. His Pleasant Purgative Pellets" and Golden Medical Discovery cleanse the blood and system, thus preventing levers and other serious diseases, and curing all scrofu- lous and other humors. Sold by druggists.
The Press., 1883-05-31

JUST MARR1ED.-How loving they are this is always sure sign. After the first year sometimes it don't hold good. When Charles comes home to you grouty and cross, snap ping and snarling, unable to relish the nice dinner you have cooked, and feels as if there was ton of pig iron in his stomach, he is troubled with dyspepsia, and Sulphur Bitters is the only medicine that will cure him.
The Press., 1883-05-31

*Lydia B. Pinkham, whose benevolent face is shadowed in almost every paper we pick up, appears to have discovered what Addison calls ''The grand elixir, to support the spirits of human natue." It is quite evident that she has the patent and has secured the contract for making over and improving the invalid corps of American Womanhood.
The Press., 1883-05-31

Recently the citizens of Fair Play, Col, de- cided that they. ought to do something to ob- serve the Sabbath. So hereafter they will not shoot Sunday except in self-defense, or when 8 stranger impudently refuses to drink
The Press., 1883-05-31
CLINTON, Iowa, April 2a, Is

CLINTON, Iowa. April 29, 1881. q wish you would send me spring for the Wm. Ellery Watch. By the way this Ellery is a watch sold in your Screw Bezel Case to a farmer last fall. The first of January he lost the watch in he woods, and found it this week in about foot of water. It had lain three months and over in and water, with but slight injury to the watch-only a hair-spring. c. s. RAYMOND" The above very severe tests, and demonstrate beyond doubt, that for any reasonable length of lime during which watch might be under water it would receive no injury whatever
 We make these in both gold and silver and as a Perfectly Dust-PrOof Stem Wind- ing Watch Case, Challenge the World to Produce It's Equal.
 FOR SALE BY ALL FIRST-CLASS JEWELLERS.
The Press., 1883-05-31

When the little children begin to float off into the golden ultimately in 8 month or six weeks, would it not be poetical, as we'll as true, to allude to the mournful exodus as the apple-crop?
The Press., 1883-05-31

Young, middle ,aged, or old men, suffering from nervous debility or kindred affections, should address, with two stamps, for large treatise, Worlds Dispensary Medical Associ- atian, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Press., 1883-05-31

The evil that men do live after them. Even when an amateur cornetist dies, he leaves the fatal instrument behind.
The Press., 1883-05-31

{. A few drops only necessary to eradicate the worst cases of earache, toothache, head ache or neuralgia. Crosby's minute cure. At druggists. 2
The Press., 1883-05-31

This IS copy of a CORRECT LIKENESS, taken from life, of MT. George McIndue of Middletown, Conn., after using "KaIocrine." He was perfectly bald, had used various preparations that highly putfed and advertised; happening in one day at the drug store of his fellow-townsman, MT. c. A. Pelton, he told him of his loss and experience the latter said he had
 preparation that would bring back his hair if it was possible to do se if the cases had not been de- stroyed and there still the least life in the roots of the halr.
 MT. McIndue took home bottle of "Kallocrne, y used it faithfully and ill short time hair began to appear. He purchased supply of ''Kallocrine," and the result is shown in this picture.
 He would not be without it for twice it's cost. Since he has regained his hair keeps his head FREE FROM DANDRUFF, KEEPS HIS HAIR SOFT AND GLOSSY, AND KEEPS HIS HEAD AND BRAIN CLEAN AND CLEAR. He will reply to any inquiries addressed to him. The Proprietor has been druggist all his life and knows how injurious nearly all the preparations for the hair that flood the market are, some even pro- ducing diseases of the brain after continued use.
 He takes great pride in guaranteeing that 'sKallo- crne' contains nothing but what is positively benef cial to both head and hair; MADE FROM THE VERY INCEST INGREDIENTS, LUXURY.
 Sold by druggists at 50 cts. bottle There is noth- ing else as good, do not take anything in it's place. CA. PELTON. MIDDLETOWN, CONN, Sole Proprietor and Manufacturer
The Press., 1883-05-31

TTTTNH people are always on the MINNIE lookout for chances to increase their HNI VI k{ earnings, and in time become
 wv bNEh wealthy; those who do not improve
 hvE their opportunities remain in pover-
 W A0 ty. We offer great chance to make money. We want men, women, boys and girls to work for us right in their own localities. Any one can do the work properly from the first start The business will pay than ten times ordinary wages. Expensive outfit furnished free. No one who en- gages fails to make money rapidly. You can devote your whole time to the work, only your spare ments. Full information and all that is needed sent free. Address STINsoN & Co.,, Portland. Maine
The Press., 1883-05-31

DrOf. DOremus on Porous Plas- 1 terS.
 THE COLLEGE OF THE CITY NEW YORK,
 COR. LEXINGTON AVE. AND 23D ST.
 NEW YORK; April 27, 1885, MEssRs SEABURY 6 JOHNSON: Gentlemen-At your request I have obtained in open market samples of BENsoN's CAPCINE PoRsUs PLAsTERs, and Allcock's Porous Plasters, and have submitted them to chemical analysis to determine their comparative merits as external remedies. I find in BENsoN's CAPC1NE PIAsTERs valuable medicinal ingredients, which d6 not exstin Allcocks Porous Plasters; hence in my opinion they are su- periOr to those of Allcock's.
 Yours resp'y,
 R. OGDEN DOREMUS, M. D. IL. D. Prof. of Chemistry and Physics in the College of ToXcology in Bellevue Hospital Medical College.
The Press., 1883-05-31

Clergymen, singers, teachers, and all public speakers, attest the value of Potaska in keep ing the throat healthy and voice clear and strong
The Press., 1883-05-31
C. A. SNOW & CO.,,

N not, life is sweeping by, go and
 EB0NT dare before you die, something mighty kAVE and sublime leave behind to conquer HHEuNH time" $66 week in your town.
 E1IktI s outfit free. No risk. Everything new. &SVS Capital not required We will furnish you everything. Many are making fortunes Ladies make much as men, and boys and girls make great pay. Readers, If you want busness at which you make great pay all the time, write for particulars to H. HALLETT & Co., Portland, Maine.
The Press., 1883-05-31

Only one United States senator was born west of the Mississippi.
The Press., 1883-05-31

By experience for tie o past ten years upon myself and others, am now prepared to remove Cancers and give satisfaction. Charges reasonable. CARLOS PROUTY.
 Stafford Springs, Jan. 8, 1883.
The Press., 1883-05-31
zzzzEEzszzzIz.zszzzz,zszsszszz
 Purely Vegetable; No agiping. Psi

The subscribers give notice that they shall meet at the office of the Savings Bank of Stafford Springs, in said Stafford the 9th days of June and November next at ten o'clock in the forenoon each of said days for the purpose of attending to the business of said appointment.
 ALvARADO HOWARD,( ! Commits
 CLARK H. GRANT. sioneCS.
The Press., 1883-05-31

4 Court of Probate holden at Stafford, A within and for the district of Stafford on the 17th day of May, A. D., 1883.
 Present, JOHN 0. BOOTH, Judge.
 On motion of Ida L. Wardwel admnstratrix on the estate of James M. Wardwel, late of Stafford, within said district, deceased.
 This court doth decree that six months be allowed and limited forhe creditors of said estate to exhibit their claims against the to the administrative and di- rects that public notice be given of this order by ad vertisng in newspaper published in Stafford and by posting copy thereof on the public sign post in said town of Stafford, nearest the place where the de- ceased last dwelt.
 Certified from Record, JOHN o. BOOTH, Judge. nRDER OF NOIICE.-Sta of Connec- O ticut, County of Holland, ss, Holland, May 18th, A. D., 1883.
 Elvira L. Barnes vs. Edward L. Barnes.
 Upon the complaint of the said ElviraL. Barnes pray ing for therein set forth for divorce, now pending before the Superior Court and for Holland County to be held the 1st Tudsday of June, A, D. 1885, It appearing to, and being found by, the sub scribng authority that the said defendant is absent from this state-gone to parts unknown. Therefore ordered that notice of the pendency of said com plaint be given by publishing this order u The Press, a newspaper printed in Stafford, in said county, two weeks successiyely. commeneing on or be fo re the Ath day of May, 1883. ERWIN O. D1MOCK,
 Clerk of the Superior Court for Holland County.
The Press., 1883-05-31
Drof. Doremus on Porous Plas-

American Cough Drops Qiquid) is the 'old reliable family remedy for all affections of the head throat and lungs. KEEP HOUSE.