Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-05-31
The Moving Of the McFingals.

Silas McFingal and Mrs. Silas Nc
Fingal have been keeping house in the
vicinity of the writer's residence during
the last year. For some reason Mr.. Me-
Fingal decided to move last week. We
do not mean that last week was move
able festival, like Shrove Tuesday or
Easter Sunday, and that Mr. McFingal
tried to move it. 1t was not last week
but himself and his wife and other
household goods that McFingal decided
on moving. This English language of
ours is calculated to misrepresent what
one means to say. There is too much
of it.
Why McFingal wanted to move we
can not say. We do not know. Prob
ably the landlord would not fix the
pump or wait for the rent, or was 9TH
erwise disobliging and unaccommodat-
ing. The first intimation that we had
of the moving of our neighbors was a
violent and phenomenal discharge from
their back windows of empty pickle
jars, vacant sardine boxes and hard
boiled ham bones that had accumu-
lated on the premises during it's occu-
7 pancys by the NleFmgals. Then Mr.. Nc
Fingal, with his head tied up in nap
kin, a streak of SCOT down the side of
his nose and some tomato sauce on his
pants, came over to borrow broom
and screw-driver from us. McFingal
is of domestic habits. He is not the
kind of husband who stays away from
home when furniture is being moved
and carpets are being pulled up. He
iabored from the rising of the sun until
noon, with cobwebs in his his hair and
!, Ill <>fk
lifting down pictures with a broom han
die, kicking the dog out of the pantry
and pulling plaster off the wall in vain
efforts to unscrew hat rack from a
corner. Harmony reigned throughout
the humble McFingal abode until Silas
accidentally Knocked The Model House
keeper (vol. ID off top shelf and
broke a three-dollar lamp. After that,
for some time, the proceedings were not
SO harmonious. Mrs. McFingal said
some bitter things about the natural
clumsiness of the male portion of the
human race, and the everlasting stu
pidity of that fraction of it that she has
the misfortune to be connubially related
to.
Some beer, crackers and sausage, pro-
cured from the grocery by Mr.. McFin-
gal. restored harmony to the household,
and amid the debris of dismantled fur
niture they partook of frugal meal.
1t was stormy dav, however in the
McFingal family. The furniture wagon
ran over the dogs tail, and when
McFingal expostulated with the driver
of the wagon, a bundle of bed Stats and
a roll of stair carpetlng hit him on the
back of the neck. 1t was almost dark
before all the furniture was ont of the
old house. Then for an hour McFingal,
with a lantern in one hand. a piece Of
water pipe in the other, and the dog st
his heels, pursued his COW all over the
Eighth Ward in a vain effort to induce
her to migrate to the new premises.
The cow disappeared in the gather
ing gloom, and the McFingals retired
to their new home, where Mrs. McFin-
ga, ON an impromptu bed on the top
floor. rested after the arduous toll OF
the day.
They both swear that they will not
again move for twenty-seven years at
least. And they are delighted with their
new house, but of course before a year
they will have discovered many defects
In II; the ROOF VIII leak, there VIII De
rats in the cellar, or the walls will be
damp; anyhow, they will not stay more
than year. That is usually how it is.
just now, however. the MdFingals are
lighted, and having got the 4fur1ii-
ture in order they sit all day on a sofa
with smiles on their faces, waiting for
the neighbors to- call-neighbors that
they will not be on speaking terms with
before the. May moon wanes. The
country is swarming With movers of the
McFingals class just at present Teras
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