The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02

SpeculatlnS community, those WIG
wholly escape harm are Fortunate
Bradford (Pd) Cor. N. y Sun.
What Become, Of Knivesl
A solemn problem is presented by the
inquiry, What becomes OF pins? The
disappearance of cans which have con.
tanned fruit, baked beans and other
alluring articles of diet is another I'm.
solved enigma No one is wise enough
to trace the whereabouts of the mass OF
hOrseshoes which are always coming
of, and which. of course, can not all be
found But with the lost chords oil
music and the lost arts must be reckoned
the immense body of disappearing
contrivances for cutting and slashing
Familiarity known as knives. Reference
is here made not to the table knife, putty,
pallet knife or chopping knife. but to
the pocket knife, that humble instru-
ment of pleasure and pain, and to the
knife of the boy, and not Of the graver
and older class of whom the boys are
fathers. What becomes of boys pocket
knivesp Automatically the question is
large one. A country village with its
hundred boys loses at least on an aver
age knife and half for each boy every
year. The boy who never loses knife
is to be ranked with the boy who never
vets his feet, falls off a fence, shrieks,
whistles, laughs or cries when he ought
not; the phenomenal children who are
grave from the first and who prefer
to sit soberly by the fireside with the
latest volume of the "Climbing Club
Series'' rather than to indulge in noisy
sports. If this village be multiplied by
the number of towns in the State, and
allowance be made for greater popu-
lation, the annual aggregate is enor-
nous for single State; and what aheap,
of strayed knives, il brought together
would be the result of tabulating
the statistics for all the States! Put
ting the figures at the lowest
reasonable numbers, it is within bounds
to say, according to Prof. Chit. of the
Metropolitan Academy, that atleast sew
en- million knives are lost each year in
the United States; or, to use q method
of illustration not unknown to the men,
tai arithmetics, if an active boy on q
bicycle should take knife at a time,
and. starting from the Park street gate
of the Common, deposit the knife in the
center of the parade ground and return
for another, allowing fifteen minutes
for each trip. the transportation of these
lost knives would take los, 900. 900 min
utes, or l, $50, 600 hours. These hours
would make nearly $4,000 days, or
about 200 years, at the end of which
time both boy and bicycle would be
worn out, and the knives would have
been lost again several times. Every
body loses a knife at proper or improp-
er intervals of time, but what right
minded boy ever finds one? The ur-
chins who find knives are the outcasts
who in the country stay away from
school. possibly hooking Jack, and catch
a good string of fish; who crawl under
the circus tent and are not caught; OF
who in various ways transgress the
school and home laws, and escape much
injury. Or they are city Arabs whose
eyes are keen as those of a bird of prey,
and whose hands are swift to clutch a
bit of plumber out of the mire. The re-
spectacle, proper boy by no accident
ever finds his own or any other boys
knife. The chances are altogether that
a boy deserving card of merit or a
medal for good conduct would go across
q State-certainly across Rhode Island
in search of wandered knives, and re-
port at home without single
trophy. There must be a meas
ure of improperly and irregularity in
N lad xxyho finds Oh Iniryac
teacher in a boys school in Idaho
began his duties by the simple inquiry:
"How many boys present ever found
knife?" Four of the pupils held up
their hands, and were at once put on
the black list. Before a week was past
these boys had shown their true colors.
The knife test for wickedness is as sure
as the peppermint test for sewer pipes.
There are undoubtedly deposits of lost
knives several layers deep all over New
England and other of the older States.
Year after year the strata are pressed
lower by the superintendent mass.
Rust and other sources of decay affect
the blade and wear away the handle.
Doubtless if the lowest. stratum OF
knives were now upturned the changed
OF the fossilized implements
lost fifty years or one hundred or more
years ago would be taken by some in.
vestigators to point to race of pre-
historic men. The size of the men who
handled them, the slope of the owners
and the peculiar conformation
of their hands would be inferred, and a
new argument in archaeology would be
In due time the speci-
mems would be placed in a private mu-
scum and labels tell of the place of their
discovery; while visitors. diffident OF
their ability to disprove the theory Of
the experts, who might say, under the
breath, that the discoveries resembled
modern pocket cutlery, would be told
they lacked the scientific spirit which
is willing to accept the indisputable re-
suit of investigation. If lost knives are
not some day at the bottom of a new
theory of geological formation. the signs
fail which have usually been trust
worthy .-Boston Advertiser.
A Nice Mother.
Last week little boy, while fishing
rom the Chain Pier at Brighton, fell