The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-01-20
SMILES.
The first thef,-The baby's crib.-Er-


 A friend every man turns his back on His bed.--Erthange.
 Tales for the Marines are now pub lished sea-rially.-ErtkangE.
 Give the miser knowledge of maihe- matics and he will cipher more.-NesU OrleaHs PicayHnt.
 A theatrical comp ty is like kite To have II go up quickly sticks are nec- essary.-ErrAaage.
 If weak young man finds that chess playing hurts him. he should buy chess protec,or.-Ae50 Oyieans Pifaynae.
 There is no use for snoring when twelve clothespins can be bought fer one cent. -Ae1o lork CcmmeyefaI dd1eyhsey.
 Clings,one costumes for men are going out of style. l. was bad give-away on thin knees.-7frre Ha1le .Satnyday Nighf.
 The man who looks forward 10 benefits through the viii of relative. sails through life or a dead reckoning.-E.x- ekMge.
 The French word for law Is placed in the feminine gender. This Is because the law IS IeArfally unoegtain.-B Boston Eymsrip:.
 Cocoanut shells ground in quantities and mixed with black peper. indicate ieetas RIetyaas.
 he s,iys ' ss.44 = silie 4.;ter no par snips" IS now rendered "etegan, diction oleomargarlnes no pas,lnaea edulis. - .Aes.' lp,k Gtan,ift.
 In some cities the policemen give an alarm by rapping on the pavement. When he isn't walking his beat he Is beating his walk.-B0ston TraHSstipI.
 A wise woman will no, light the fire with kerosene. but will invite the servant girl to whom she owes three months wages to do the same.-De1s,er 7yibHne.
 "Naturalists say tha, single swallow will devour o,ooo flies day" Obvi- ousiy the naturalis,s have made mis- take of S,ooo swallows.-Erfhange.
 Benjamin Hoover. of Indiana, was killed while cleaning we'll by bucket falling on his head. Thus does pail death reduce the number.-Erehange.
 Do not forget the little ones," says a contemporary. We agree with this, but lives or tens will do for us if you have no little eones.-B0Sfo1 CommeyeiaI Bulletin.
 It IS no, all gold that shines-no indeed: the well-polished bald-head under bril- liant gas-hght will put the auriferous metal entirely in the shade.- Zoisslo .fn1ryftan.
 1t may be truthfully stated that, no matter how young man acts towards a young lady, he can never cause her to dislike him sufficiently to decline his pic,ure.-Pnek.
 Blessed is the man that don't live on corner lot for he has less snow 10 shovel oti. and Is enabled to keep his terfper better than his more unfortunate neighbor -Ha,ro,d ionynal.
 Dogs. under favorable circumstances, live 10 be D years old" says an ex- change. Favorable circumstance" probably means a family without boys or neighbors -E.rtAUSe.
 The burning deck" upon which the bold boy stood was simply pack of cards that caught fire by coming in con- tac, with box of matches in his pocket. -.ic..' lork Conimeytiai
 Speaking of cremation. B!obbs re- marked: Well. would rather not be burned after death" Then" remarked a friend, you >heaid mead yogr-Mays al once. - l!hteAAS ./0n,nli'
 Sanew club m New York is called The Growlers. IL Is supposed to be composed of married men who have to wait nve minutes when they so home for dlnaer.-NaJy'St9;eU N.raii.
 \ bal!-headcd man who has heard that the ha.rs on q mans head are num- bcred. wants 10 know II ;hcre $ not some pace where he can oblain the black num- CiytYnnah Sam day .Nshk
 Mrs. Laagtry has had q newly invented patent corse, named after her. Of corset will give the paragraphers a chance to make smart remarks about her short stays in our principal e.ties.-Zrrss oiff- inrS.
 "Wha, is the mission oi the country ediior:" writes New York correspond en,. We don, know. unless i, is 70 write original items for the city editors to clip and republish without credit.-OU Cify BN--6,f.
 In ,hir:v-line notice of an amateur performance in New York recently the 7tiinat approached dangerously near criticism by remarking ,ha, the cos- tunes worn by the ladies were much ad- mired. ."-ErsiamEe.
 \ Chicago man offers q reward of ten dollars for the re:urn of his umbrella. but of course. the religious enthusiast who carried |, away from prayer meeting is rot going to give himself away for that money Chitd<o Chcek.
 X man at hotel fell the whole length oi flight of stairs. Servants rushed 10 pick him up. They asked him if he was hurt. No" he replied not at all. I'm used 10 coming down that way. I'm life insurance agent. Post