Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1883-12-18
MAJOR JONES'S COURTSHIP.
THE CHRISTMAS PRESENT THAT WAS TO BE
KEPT FOR LIFETIME.

Crismus is over, and the thing is done
did! You know I told you was gwine to
bring Miss Mary up to the chalk on Girls.
mus. Well. done it, slick as whistle
though it come mighty nigh bein serious
bisness. Bnt I'll tell you about the whole
circumstance.
CIismus Eve l put on my new suit, and
shaved my face as slick as smoothin iron,
and after tea went'over to old Miss Stlalins
es. AS soon as I went into the parler wha1
they was all settin round the fire, Miss Car
line and Miss Kesiah both laughed right
out.
'There! therel'' ses they, "I told you So
I know'd it would be Joseph
"What's | done, Miss Carline ?' ses l.
"You come under little sister chicken
bone, and do believe she khow'd you was
comm when she put it over the dore."
'No I didn't I didn't no such thing,
now," ses Miss Mary, and her face blushed
red all over.
ooh, you needn't deny it," ses Miss Kes-
iah, ''you belong to Joseph now, jest as
sure as theirs any charm in chicken bones. u
know'd that was first rate chance to
say something, but the dear little creetel
looked SO sorry and KEEP blushin so,
couldn't say nothin zactly to the pintl so
tuck chair and reached up and tuck down
the bone and put it in my pocket.
"What are you Egwine to do with that
old chicken bone now, Majer?'' ses Miss
Mary.
''l'm gwine to keep it as long as live, y
ses I, ''as Crlsmus present from the hand
soonest gal in Georgia" /"
| When l sed that, she blushed worse and
worse.
''Aint you ashamed, Majer?' ses she.
s'Now you ought to give her Crismus
gift, Joseph, to keep all her life." ses Miss
Carline.
"Ah,' ses old Miss Stallins, "when 1 was
a gall we used to hang up our stockins--'
why, Mother!' ses all of 'em, ''to say
stockins right before"
Then I felt little streaked too, cause
they was all blushin as hard as they could
"Highty-tityp' ses the old lady-"what
monstrous 'finement to be shore! I'd like
to know what harm ther is in stockins.
People nowadays is gettin so mealy.
mouthed they can't call nothin by its right
name, and don't see as they's any better
than the old time people was. When was
a gall like you, child, use to hang up my
stockins and git 'em full of pres. nts.'
The gals KEEP laughin and blushin.
"Never mind" ses Miss Mary. "Majer's
got to give me Crismus gift-won't you,
Majer?''
"Oh, yes" ses I, >'you know promised
you one.''
"But didn't mean that" ses she.
'I've got one for you, what l want you
to keep all your life, but it would take a
two bushel bag to hold it" ses l.
"Oh, that's the kind" ses she.
"But will you promise to keep it as long
as you hver' ses l.
Certainly will, Majer.'
-"Monstrous 'fnement now-a-days-old
people don't know nothin about perlite-
ness" said old Miss Stallins, jest gwine to
sleep with her nittin in her lap.
'Now you hear that, Miss Carline," ses
I. "She ses she'll keep it all her life.'
eyes, l will, ses Miss Mary-'but what
is it p"
"Never mind" ses I, 'syou hang up a
bag big enough to hold it and you'll find
out what it is, when you see it in theimorn-
in."
Miss Carline winked at Miss Kesiah, and
then whispered 20 her-then they both
laughed and looked at me mi chieveous as
they could. They 'spicioned something.
you'll be shore to give it to mo now, if
I hang up bag" ses Miss Mary.
'And promise to keep it, sesI.
"Well, I will, cause l know that you
wouldn't give me nothin, that wasn't worth
keepin."
They all agreed they would hang up a
bag for me to put Miss Mary's Crismus
present in, on the back porch, and about
home.
1o,H or11 ,har, %knr
was all gone to bed / went softly into the
back gate, and went up to the porch, and
thar, shore enough, was great big meal
unhandy to git to it, but 1 was termined
not to back out. So sot some chairs on
top of bench and got hold of the rope and
let myself down into the bag; but jest as
was gettin in, it swung aein the chairs, and
down they went with terrible racket; but
nobody didn't wake up but Miss Stallins' S
old cur dog, and here he come rippin and
tearin through the yard like rath, and round
and round he went tryin to find what was
the matter. scrooch'd down in the bag
and didn't breathe louder nor kitten, for
fear he'd find me out, and after while he
quit barkin.
The wind began to blow bominable cold,
and the old bag KEEP turnin round and
swingin so it made me sea-sick as the MS
chief. I was afraid to move for fear the
rope would break and let me fall, and thar
l sot with my teeth rattlin like l had the
ager. 1t seemed like it would never come
daylight, and do believe if l didn't love
Miss Mary so powerful l would froze to
death; for my heart was the only spot that
felt warm, and it didn't beat more'n two
licks mint, only when | thought how she
would be surprised in the mornin, and then
it went in a canter Biemby the old dog
come up on the porch and begun to smell
thought he'd treed something. "Bow1
WOW! wow!" ses he. Then he smell agin,
and Try to git up to the bag. "Git outp'
ses l, very low, for fear the gals mought
hear me. "Bow! wowp' ses he. Be gone