The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1883-08-15
Trying to Beat $40 With a Three Minute
Horse.

A convict in the Indiana penitentiary
hit the nail on the head when asked
how his downward course began. He
said it began in trying to beat 2:40 with
a three minute horse.
How many people in all branches of
business are trying to beat 2:4O with a
three minute horse? The man who has
a small business that is paying him, and
goes into debt and tries to spread over
too many eggs, is trying to beat 2:4O with
a three minute horse.
The young man who gets a small sal
airy, and spends more money for ice
cream and pertumery and neck ties than
he earns, is trying to beat 2:4O with a
three minute horse.
The wife who is calculated by nature
to be the wife of a mechanic, and gets
above her business and looks with scorn
upon a man who earns his living by
hard work, will look at an old maid in
the glass a few years from now, and re-
alize thatshe has been trying to beat 2:40
with a three minute horse.
The ordinary, every day sort OF a man,
who is elected to a small office by alarge
majority, on account OF men voting for
him for charity, and who thereupon as
pires to a big office for which he is unfit
ed, will be nominated for the big office
some day and will be beaten higher
than a kite, and he will then feel of his
aching head, examine his empty pocket
book, look around at the debts he has
contracted and the enemies he has made,
and it will come suddenly to him that
he has been trying to beat 2:4O with a
three minute horse.
The man Or woman who leaves a pro-
fession Or employment to which they
are fitted, and in which they can be
prosperous and happy and have friends,
and goes upon the stage to compete with
men and women who have been brought
I'D to it, and who have made success by
q life time of hard work, will some day
realize to their sorrow that they have
failed to beat 2:4O with a three minute
horse.
The young man who has been left a
fortune by a dead father who has worked
a lifetime to accumulate riches, and who
changes from beer that was good enough
for him before to champagne, and plen-
ty of it and who can't find places enough
to spend money without sitting UP all
night, and who finds old sledge and pee
nuckle too tame and adopts draw poker
and faro, and who forgets that his sis
tiers are splendid company, and gets ac-
quainted with quick girls and buys them
diamonds as big as pieces of alum, will
in a few years be walking or his uppers,
and having fur collars pinned on to lin
en- listers for winter, and he will wake
up some morning with the almightiest
headache on record and come to the
conclusion that trying to beat 2:40 with
q three minute horse is what ails him.
The summer resort hotel proprietor
who fits up ali old rookery and fills it
with guests who are seeking comfort,
and charges Fifth avenue prices for Bow
empty house the next year and say the
season is backward, and when the guests
do not come with the dog days, he will
suddenly scratch his head and say he
made a fool of himself last year in try
ing to beat 2:4O with a three minute
horse.
The whole souled, gcod fellow, every
body's friend, gets to drinking too hard,
and as he is healthy, be gets an idea, he
can beat whisky, a game so many have
tried and failed. He keeps it up until
his nose gets red, his eyes bleared and
his voice gets shaky, and he has a Whis-
Ky cough, and his friends try to reason
with him and get him to let up, but he
laughs at them with his good natured
laugh and tells them that he has got a
constitution like a horse, and that moth
ing can hurt him, and asks them to take
a drink. Some day he gets jim jams,
and all his friends say, q. told you so,u
and they sit up nights with him and
drive away snakes, and just before he
dies it suddenly occurs to him that he
has been trying to beat 2:4o with a three
minute horse.-PecE'sgSuaa
"<@A.
For good stock saddles, brides, spurs,