, 1883-10-20

we walked around, and the fourth
night we slept in the police station
When our money was gone, half the
fun was gone. If a fellow can walk
around with money in his pocket, he
feels good, even if he don't want t
buy anything, but when the money
is gone, he feels bad, and wants t.
buy lots Of things. We waited two
days for our brakeman, and when We
got on his train he put us in a cattle
car, and it was vile. l traded my
cOllar-button for a postal card, ant
wrote to pa that the prOdigal would
put in an appearance at 8 p. NJ, anC
for him to prepare to fall on myneck
and to send down to the meat market
for a hind quarter of fatted calf, anG
have plenty Of gravy. You wouldn't
belieYe it but there was no carriage
at the depot, and we had to walk
home. l could have overlooked that
if there had been anything to eat
when | got to the house, but there
wasn't enough for canary bird. Pa
was there, however, and was just
going to hold out my neck for pa tC
get on to weep, when he grabbed il
with his band and came near twist.
ing it Off, and then he turned me
around and began to play the bass
drum on my clothes with his feet.
never was so annoyed in all my life,
honestly. 1t was not the treatment
l had right to expect, after they
had told me about the prodigal son OF
ancient times. As quick rs l could
catch my breath ! asked pa what he
thought the prodigal son of the Bi-
bic times would have thought if his
pa had mauled him when he came
home, and what kind of a story it
would have made, if ithad told about
the old man taking him by the neck
and kicking him all over the room
instead Of falling on his neck and
weeping and giving him a veal pot
pie. Pa said he wasn't running any
old back number prodigal sons, and
he thought his way was the best,
and he sent me to bed without any
supper. That settles the prodigal
business with Hcnnery. No more
fatted calf for Hank, if YOU please"
and the boy got up and shook the
herring peelings from his lap.
"Well, how did your chum come
out ?" asked the grocery man, with
much interest.
80, he hasn't come out yet. Heis
in the lock up" said the boy. ellis
ma put the police ON to him, and
when he showed up they run him
into the police station for a tramp. l
think we both have demonstrated
that this climate does not agree with
the prodigal business, and however
much they may try to teach us the
beauties of such stories, they do not
expect us to try to initiate them.
When l go to Chicago after this l
shall go in parlOr car, with lunch
enough toslast me, and a return tick
ct. | don't understand it at all. Now
| didn't do half the mean things in
Chicago that the prodigal son of old
did in the far off country, and yet
he got taffy when he got home, and
l got my spine broke. 1t may be all
right, but they do things different
in the old country, you know"
'If 1 understand the kind of a
prodigal son you are" said the gro
as he sprinkled the floor
from a wash basin, preparatory to
the semi-annual sweeping out, "you
have got even with your pa before
this, for his outrageous treatment.
That is, mind you, don't suggest
for you to play on him, but
from what / know of you the ac-
count is evened up before now. Am
right ?"
"Well, l should remark. Any per-
son who thinks | cannot resent such
an insult makes a mistake as to the
sort of a prOdigal son am. We had
company at dinner to day, and pa is
always in his element when we have
company. He prides himself on his
We had a roast of beef,
and before it went on the table
took the steel that pa sharpens the
knife on, and made two holes right
through the roast, and then | took a
whip that pa basted me
with once, cut it in two, and run
pieces Of the rawhide in the holes Of
the beef. Pa begin carving with a
smile, and asked the minister if he
would have his beef rare, or an out
side piece. He was bearing gently
on the carving knife, when the knife
struck the rawhide and it wouldn't
go any further. Pa smiled and said
he guessed he had struck a barbed
wire fence, and he turned the roast
around and cut again, and he struck
the rawhide. The minister drummed
with his fork and spoke to ma and
said I'VE had a splendid meeting
Wednesday night and ma said it
was perfectly gorgeous, and pa began
to perspire and turn red in the face,
and he said some words that would
sound better in a brewery, and he
tried to gouge off some meat, but it
wouldn't come, and the minister
said, Brother, you seem to be hav-
ing a monkey and a parrot time with
that roast, and that made pa mad,
and he said he could carve his own
meat without any sky pilots inter
ference, and ma said, why, pa, you
should not be impudent,' and pa said
n -. 4 4 I