The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-06-01
Stage.Struck Youths.

Centrai 1neater, yesterday, tosSiHg OVel
% the reporter pile of letters from
amateurs who wanted positions as clog
dancers and banjo pickers. After tell
lng an attendant to send away mar
who had been importuning him fol-
months for heavy salary in the role
Of the executioner of Irish breakdOwns
and who had come to demand payment
for rehearsal which bad satisfied ever
the scene-shifters of his incompetency
| Mr. Gilmore remarked that during the
/ past week he had received thirty-fOul
/ spistles from alleged artists of both
sexes. Nine of the writers were ladies,
and one of them said she looked like
Mary Anderson. Another was, in hel
I own words, ''immured in dark and
pitiful boarding-school. and her request
was that the courteous and Obligins
/ manager should come with ladder,
release her from her tyrannical Oppres.
sors and place her on the stage. When
a school girl of q romantic imagination
quarrels with her guardians about hel
allowance of pocket money she in.
variably threatens to take the stage and
become independent. The drug clerk
who is censured by corOner's jury fol
selling prussic acid for cOd-liver oil, and
who, as a consequence, is thrown out
of work, rushes to desk and writes 9
play or indites letter to Manager Gil
more. Il used to be n night-watch.
man. remarks one of the letters which
have come to the theater during the
past few days, land it made me
thoughtful. l spent great deal of my
TIME repeating verses from Shakespeare
in the lonely night, and l always chose
the solemn ones. l think l could aci
tragedy" An answer was forthwith
sent offering the fellow a position OF
fifteen dollars month rs bill-sticker.
The next item in the heap of letters
was one from man named Hancock.
who had spoiled sixty-eight sheets OF
paper with fearful drama. He wanteC
to play leading murderer. On the first
page occurred the sentence. stage di.
rection-Here de- on the second was
the inspiring remark, "Pinguet Stays
Mako" and in another act repeating
rifle plays havoc with lot of border
ruffians. 1.-The other night felt wake.
full, Mr.. Gilmore remarked, throwing
the drama into the drawer. land reaC
about thirty pages of it. l don't hest.
tate to say that | wouldn't place it or
the boards for $1,000 a performance
The writer wrote to me a day or two
ago to send the play back. and l neg.
lected to do so. Yesterday | received 6
lawyers letter. threatening suit fol
hundreds of dollars damages for will
fully preventing other managers from
swapping it up"
I'VE sometimes have a splendid time
with these amateurs" Mr.. Gilmore re-.
sumed, getting tired of the letters
Stage madness. which is thing G
itself deprives those afflicted with it q
all sense of being ridiculous. They
will let us daub them all over with mu.
cilage, paint them all the colors of the
rainbow, and bang them about at on
own sweet will. A week ago two broth
ers. who thought they could sing, hor
and perform great guitar act. got or
the boards by sheer gall to rehearse
before the stage carpenters, call boys
and a few men who were cleaning from
bones and things. They screwed then
faces up and commenced together, j
go. my love, 90. when suddenly they
both went. Where do You think they
went, though? 1t was through two
traps that had been purposely unfast
ened and down into two crooks of thick
bill paste
"A man came to me with sealed
letter of introd, fon from Baltimore
manager he continued. g 1t was
worded to the effect that the bearer was
of no use to any one. and that l might
kill him if Iliked. gave him the part
of 4 good-gOody dude, who was to &c
into q saloon and discourse virtue and
morality to the assembled 'toughs.' His
speech was about four feet long. As
soon as the saloonists saw him they
made in his direction. Well. sir. ]
don't think ever saw such a used-ur
man as he was after they got through
with him. They wasted a bag of flouI
over his clothes, rubbed his face in
blacking-pot and rolled him around OF
the stage. To all intents and purposes
they played base ball with him. He
came to me afterwards painting witt
rage. but l explained that it was all i'll
the play. He said he had not been
warned. but had been made to learn q
speech which it was never intended he
should deliver, and he went away
..Yes. this is the time of year thai
they all long for the stage" the face
tious manager went on. Il believs
spring has some peculiar effect on ths
brains not only of poets but of stage.
struck heroes. Do dudes ever apply fol-
places at the theater. Certainly. J
should say so; but they want to play
dude roles, which makes them objec.
tionable. Once man named johnson
came to me and said that he liked tc
visit the theater every night and moi
pay anything. Itold him that l wac
sorry l could not oblige him. but l wa:
not doing business of that kind. II:
fastened, however, to explain that he
wanted to be clacquer! Now. that Il
4 position that is almost unknown liz
this country, but thought l would gu,i
him. therefore told him to get braSi
heels put on his shoes and come along
After had prompted him in waiting a,
to when he should applaud. l gave him
a good front seat. Presently one of the
actors remarked: Il have an appoint.
ment to keep, must 60 At this ON
friend with the metallic heels begaE
stamping his feet, clapping his hand:
and shouting. As he was the only man
in the house that moved, the effect wa.
laughable. and every one looked at him.
He repeated this two or three time.
during the performance, made himsel!
the laughing stock of the audience, and
then resigned. "-Philadelphia Times.
"A cure for rheumatism an English