davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-10-24
RHEUMATISM CURED
ROCHESTER, N. Y, Apr. 9Th, 80

ROCHESTER, N. T., Apr. 9Th, 80.
Rheumatic Syrup Co.:
GKSrs-I have been o great suf-
ferer from rheumatism for six
years, and hearing Of the success
Of Rheumatic Syrup l concluded
TO give II a trial In my own case,
and ! cheerfully say that have
been greatly benefited by Its use.
] can walk with entire free lon
from pain, and my general health
is very much improved. IL Is a
splendid remedy for the blood
and debiliiated system
Z CHESTER PARK, VI. D.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-10-24

Motives are better than actions.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-10-24
A boaster is always to be suspected

Infallible, tasteess, harmless, cathartic; for fe
restlessness, worms. constipation 25c.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-10-24
NEURALGIA CURED.
FAIRPoKr, y. Y, March 12, $:

FAIKPoRr, y. T., March 12, 50.
Rheumatic syrup Co.:
GNSrs-Since November. 1sss.
! Rave been a constant sufferer
from neuralgia and have not
known what II was to be free
from pain until / commenced
the use OF Rheumatic Syrup. I
have felt no pain since using the
fourth bottle. ! think it the best
remedy l have ever heard OF for
purifying the blood and for the
cure OF rheumatism and neu-
ragi1 w. b. CHASE.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-10-24

Merit Spring an international Con-
gress Of Ornithologists will be held in
Vienna under the patronage of the
Crown Prince Rudolf. One of the OBJ
Jects of the meeting is to secure such
legislation among the nations as will
protect the songsters of the grove and
the destroyers of Of pestiferous vermin.
There is degree of earnestpess in this
movement. The Austrian Government
is to send out free invitations to almost
every foreign Government, and grant
Its Representatives a free passage. The
United States should be well represen-
ted. DIR. Gustavus Won Hyekek, the
honorable First Secretary Of the Orni-
theological Society Of Vienna. No. 3
Marokkraner Grasse, Vienna, may be
applied to for further information.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-10-24
HUMOROUS.

JOHNNIE was In the street car yester-
day with his mother. and next to him
sat q very nice looking young man: Az
ter some talk with his mother JohlnIa
turned to the young man and said Sc
everybody could hear him:
.'Am dude?"
SWELL. replied the young man, you
don't look like one"
''And is that gentleman on the other
side of you dude?"
81 suppose not: but do You want to
know. my little felIow?"--
Nothing. only mamma said you v as
the next thing to q dude. and l wanted
to know if it WAS me or the other gen.
tleman she meant"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-10-24

LITTLE Johnny Yerger has caused q
breach between Gus DeSmith. an
Austin society gentleman, and the
Yerger family. Gus called to make q
friendly visit after supper, he having
previously informed Cononel Yerger Of
the intended honor. The whole family
and Gus were in the parlor, when
Johnny rivited the attention of all
present by asking Gus DeSmith: ''Have
you brought your Rimlet with your"
"Hush, Johnny, "eaid Mrs. Yerger. Go
to bed, sir" remarked ConoleI Yerger.
'What do you mean, Johnny" asked
Gus. 81 don't mean muffin; except i
heard pa say you were coming up this
evening to bore us all
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-10-24
IL Ely's Cream Balm

t-For constipation loss Of appetite and % the
bowels take Hawleys Stomach and Liver P1l = cents.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10
THE BIGGER FOOL.

"When married you said Mrs. Pepperton to her husband. "I thought, that you were sensible man, bui have learned that you are a fool"
 Let's see,' the husband unused, we have been married hve years, haven't weF
 ''Nes, am sorry to say tha, we have. F
 And you married me under the im- pression tha, was a sensible fellow 7:
 "Yesr
 And you have rus, discovered that am fool:T
 "les, have
 Well, you were long time m making this discovery. which proves that you are bigger fool than am Another thing in my favor IS that knew you were A fooi or you wouldn't have consented to marry me
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10
OLD GENTLEMAN WAS RioHT

"l don't shink tha, l was very useful member of the family circle when vas boy said weIl-kno~n Josrnalist We lived on farm and 1, despising ~ork, dragged along somehow. My father vas regarded as enc of the bes, farmers in the country and, although a man Of fine unletsered sense, SC, he could no, under. stand why |, was that could nos imme- dsaseiy establish the identity of every hog or horse in the neighborhood. and don, think he ever forgzve me for driving one of our own calves out of the Ies under the impression hat it belonged to one of the ssighbon. Do you think he said to me one day, that you would know me if you were to meet me in the voods?"
 You srs not . oalf,' sagyesssd
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10
WOULDN'T LET THEM GO.

..l would like 10 kno~,H sad a white man 70 colored gentleman, why you are skulking around my premises
 ' What does yer mean by sknlk,n' boss v
 Walking around here in this man. ner.-
 How does yer 'speck a man ter walk boss. Sorry kant walk ter saii ye.. 'speck I'll hAfer go away an take few lessons.7
 I'm not talking aboai your actual manner o( waking. mean that 1 want to know what business you have here P
 -Oh, dafs ii! Glad dat yer ain's got 10 faalt ter find wid my walk. Reckon I'll ies the lessons % den.r
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10

klttie, is quite tn keeping with one of your cold creed-from one whose church never warns a congregation. Why, sir addci Mir. Mulkittle with an ironical smile, l" a Presbyterian church was burned down some time age, and ~hen the burning coAls were raked away i, was discovered that the ground was frozen"
 You aie always true to your calling reloine3 the doctor. bowing with mock po- li,eness. perversion of truth. Go on in your ungodly work"
 ." do not perven the truth. Dull minds often mistake Jokes"
 |" But A dull mind should never attempt io coneoct them"
 '' am no duller than you"
 As the froe rem arked to the drawing knife" added the doctor.
 You condemn me for joking. ye, joke yourself"
 " did no, joke mrseh You should study rhetoric. Mir. Mulkit,le"
 II study religion, sir. The devil IS a
 
 rhetorieian.'
 The only feature that distinguishes you from one of his disciples
 You are venemous liar" exclaimed Mir Mulki,tle, unable longer to restrain himself You have come here for | tght and d d--exeuse me, Lord II you can, ge, It.
 Take that back. son of h-i-may the Lord forgive me =
 Take nothing back" Bip. Bip, bip.
 They fought with an energy that would have awakened enthusiasm had the ai- fair occurred in the street Mulkttle "churned the doctor around. and that unfortunate divine stepped on the cats tail and stood there. despite her cries lnfuria,ed. the animal freed herself and climbed the doctors les. making the fur fly al every step. She mounted his shoul der and he turned from Mulkittle to de fcnd himself agains, the devilish thing that earned wad ot torment on each foot Mir. Mulkltle stopped fighting jus, as his wife ran into the room with bucke, of water which she threw on the doctor and cat.
 Look a, me he sad. contemplating his torn and drenehed raimeni This forever separates us.
 Are you hur, :" asked Mrs. Mulki,- ,le
 "Oh, no" the doctor replied sareas,ic- ally. Not hurt m the least, for you see my skin slips of ~lthou, any trouble. Not hurt, oh, no. Have been enjoying myself Mulki,,le. will see you in due tune. ,.ood day, madam. Give my re- gards to the "a, and the other members of the family"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10

: How do you expect me ,o be intimately acquainted with all the animals in the country They all look alike to me
 "' notice, the old gentleman ,hrewdly remarked. that you know all the dogs m the country
 - Yes, ba, dogs have a way of making themselves known
 "' No. it's not that ls is he, ause yeu take ao interest n your work. and act. ually believe tha, fl were tc turn you loose you'd s,aIve to death :" and many tune s,nce then. while en- dcavorng ,o interest the pubic in my newspaper. have though, ,ha, the old gcntleman's words we're almost pro phetio. There ,s ono day that 1 can never forget. We had moved ono ot the cross fences. and the old gentleman turn my ,o me sa,d
 ".Go ,o the barn and get the auger and spade. so we can d,g posi-holes
 Why do you want to d,e pos,-holes 7 1 asked
 Don't you know that we arc go,ng ,o move the gate /
 ." Yes, sir
 - We'll won't ~e have to dig holes ior the posts :,
 - No. sir While the wagon is here we can put these holes m and haul 'em down to the other place
 He turned around and giving me a look tha, always zee now when 1 have lever. sad T do thlnk ,ha, you are the b,g- est fool ever saw
 "l have though, nf tho proposi,,on often s,nct then, and l never tai. io rra, h the conclusion that the old gentleman was right"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10
4 CURE FOR PRIDk

An old man who had fnf years been a str,et church member. and who had done much effective work foi the cause of tem- peranoe. was found lying by the foadslde the other day Tn a state oi ,n,os,e a,,on lie was drawn up before committee of the ohur, h and asked ta show cause why he should no, be excommunica,ed
 "l acknowledge tha, ~as drunk. brethren, and I've go, A mighty good teason fuf Il. '
 Family trouble - asked the chaI- man of thc committee.
 No. SIT. for I've had no trouble l, ~as pride
 iridc !" exclaimed the chairman.
 "fes, pf,de. AS ven, along to town me, A drunken fellow and begun to think well of myself bccaus~ had never been drunk. Pretty soon began to feel proud of Il, 4 ll,,le further on me, An ordinary lookln ieiler an ~ouldn', speak ,o him. My neck 70, so stuff with my pridr tha, l ~ouldnt even nod to people. reflect ted thA, my prlde was wicked, and tired and tired bn, could not throw !, of l tned ,o pray. bu, ~aA l,,le too proud to pray wlth iefvsr. sThIs won't do,' 1 unused. l arn g.,un 10 be A regular phan.e~ Alter walkin round awhile, met an old negro an asked
 s' Unele. can you tell me hos to thfo~ of my prde z
 "' Dat ken, sah da, ken
 "'Weil. wish you would, ior 10 con unue in this proud ~ay ~ill be dangerous to my vpal.'
 Wall dar's one thing ia, net~r fails Ter knock down mans pride. boss. an dat is ~hisky Get drunk an when yer gets sober yer'u feel nightly inflated. = acted on this sugges.,on, an gos Al drunk as a-weii, as aa owl. though 1 never saw an o~i drunk. When 1 go, sober, was ,he mos, Inundated man m the world, an prayed with an eznessness l never ieis before. am nov willing 10 leave my case Tn your hands"
 '' Brethren, sad the chairman, what do you think -
 Wall" replied one old fellow. "I feel sorter proud How is ii with yourseifF'
 Ssrter Pharssce.' How do you feel Brother Jenks :"
 Proud as peacock. Brother Larkins, ho- do you ieel T'
 Mighty proud Lst's go down to the stiil-house an humiiiase ourseives."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10
PLANTATION pHiLosopHY.

lDe man what am, got no respeck fur public opinion am, go, none fur hisse'L.
 AS rule winmtn is more truthful den men. Eve told de truth, bu, Adam tired ter lie shenebef hs go, chance.
 1, amt de smas,es, man dat ken ai'efs take kees ob hlssei de bes,. De sucker am, go, AS much sensc As ds gogale-eyed perch, bat he won't grab hook half % quick.
 has of,ea heard dat a smart mar dozn know ii. D,s Is A mistake He do know t an Is satisfied wid de fack aa' doSn try ter show Il. while dc fool, afeesd dat fplks won't think he's smart, sries ter show da, he n.
 Music hab caused many a man ter lie, fur, besn' ashamed ter say he doan lab it, he ssys dat he de when he doan. Eddy- cation doan bring precisi,oo oh masse, fur de biggest fool ebef seed would sse all day widoui any dinner ef dar vas music in de community.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10
VOL. }. NO. a4.
DANCE ROUND DAvID's HARP.

Oh Marster Jesus, take me home
 Wash me, wash me, aAAe of my sins ~id curry comb.
 Wash me winter den snow. tse dun got a huff ob dis ole worl'.
 Wash me, wash me, Fur sin flies rouns in reg lar whiri,
 Wash me, Lawd, sum mo. I'd be mighty hungry afore I'd steal,
 Hole me, hole me, Won't dribe my hogs in anuder mans iiel'. Hole me wid yer han. tubs Mars Paul an Peter too,
 Hole me. hole me, An wants ter wear saisation's shoe.
 Hole me m de ban An CT come CT long, ole Judy, an sing ter dt Lam Come CT long. Jasper, come CT long, sam Wen go up wander where d groan am I heard An ay all aroun vid tie wings ob bsrd Ch, huh. oh me, dance roun' David's harp harp, harp, oh dance roun' David's harp. Let me go fore de ole red rooster crows
 l.H' mc, ht' me. Long Tore de dew Is on de rose,
 Lii' me ap on high. ole Jobs piles was bon ob de earth,
 lLf' ne, it' me, But da eouldnt | last air,er his secon' birth, Lif ne up ter de sky. Ahen glts up dar I'll halter laii
 Push me, push me, Ter see ole Aaron wid out his calf
 Push me through de gate, I'll walk aroun' on de streets ob gole,
 Push me, push me, Wid ham bone ted Ter sass afras pole, Push me fore i;'s too late. An CT Polly an CT Dina an CT Tony com, CT long. Fur ter praise de Lawd wid mighty sNee song, Yves g~ine up home whar dar'sno mo pain Whar de leaves an' seorehed fur de wan ob rain. Ejh, huh, oh me. dance roun' Dav,d's harp harp, harp, oh dance roun' Datd's harp
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10
wASN A LAB.
Why the Squatter Objected to H.,
 Name--A Bad Witness.

Name--A Bad Witness.
 What IS your name 7" asked the United States attorney of an old squat ter v who had been summoned before the eour, as witness.
 Which name. squire
 Your righ, name. ot course"
 :" l ain, go, none"
 What. you don't mean to say that you haven't eo, a name,'
 oh. no. sir"
 " Thls summons says that your name Is Anan,as Peters. Is ,ha, se ?"
 ]" keekin Il ls.a
 Though, you didn't have ngh, name ;'
 !" amt"
 Look here. sir Don't tuhe with thls court. Your prevaricatlon will not be tolerated here. Why did you say ,ha, Ananias Peters sas not your rleht name " { ase Il want ught to name a boy Ananias. therefore Il amt A ngh, name Inc bible. b'teve. sor,cr called Ana nias a Iiar"
 Which, intetposed the judge, |" makes Il peculiarly applicable to your case" Look a-here ledge. 1 don't want Ia proglo with you. case you've go, the up- per hand of me bu, 1 don, want you ,o h., me ~,,h the bible A mans m bad enough hs when yer fling the law A, hin but when yer ti,ng the law an the gosp,l both. he ain't 70, no show"
 Where do you live = asked ihe at. ,orney.
 At home
 t" liu, where's your home F'
 "ln the neighhorhood Q whar live ' The judge turned away 10 conceal smile. and the attorney. giving the "squatter a look of extreme severity. said Do you know where you are. sir y' Yes, SIT. I'm here.
 "lou won, be here much longer unless you answer my questions
 |" am answcrin your questions squire Go on with your rat klllin'" defendant cut timber from government, Hand -
 When dld he do the cu,tn' ~
 That's what l want to hnd out, think |, was sometime m October"
 Wall some,imes in October was A, one place an sometimes was A, luther " Did you ever see hun cutting govern ment lumber 7
 @l believe did"
 When S''
 "Durln the war when he vas in the army
 None of your foollshness now. Dldn, you come along the road one day in oe ,obcr and talk to the defendant while he ~as ohop,Ing down tree 7"
 No, SIT
 Remember that you are under oath. So you didn't sec him while he was chop ping down uee!''
 "Dldn', say that squire, fur 1 dld see him ehoppin the tree
 Dld you stop and talk 10 hum -
 !" Yes. sir
 Thought you sad you didn't stop and talk to him =
 :. Didn't say 1t"
 You did"
 D,dn', say i,
 Wha, did you say 7" Sad l didn't talk 10 him while he ~as choppin'. fur when come up an spoke, he qua choppin'. Fl thar's any i thing else you wanier know. fire away
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10
THE FIRM MOTHER.

An mus, always say my prayers be- ford go.n' to bed g'' asked A boy of his mother.
 "Nes"
 "Bu, # set up all nigh, needat say 'em. need f'
 "les"
 Why 2,
 Because you must ask the Lord to bless you ''
 !" How hiess me 2"
 Take care os you and save yoa." ' How save me y''
 Take you ,o heaven when you dle.s An a ask Hum wiii He do mf" "Yes."
 " How do you know '' /" The bible says SO" !" Docs II say me 7"
 |, says lt,le ohlldren.. !" Men too P
 "les"
 ' An grown up women f'' "Nes"
 ]" How do you know = "oh. don't know. To, gracious sake hnsh and let me read What arc you rcadin = <" \ story"
 "Wha, klnd of story = Abou, man and A woman and | don't know ~ha, all ]" "ls Il n story 7"
 "YeH"
 Why don't you read the truth :" :" II you aak another question to night I'll whip you
 |" But ean ask another one in the mornin. ,nayn't = Yea"
 iiu, mus,n :, ask any more ght rs " No. not anothet one, for fl you do I'll whip you
 '' won't ask any mose night. will fs No"
 "Bu, will m the ,nosuin', won't I 7" "ies"
 An you'll whip nc If ask any moro tonight. wont you e' Yes"
 " iia' you ~"n' Y the mofnin' will you =
 No"
 Bu, you ~ill tonight. ~on't you - sok a-het~. no, another word out of you now If You ask another single question I'll ~hlp you ' liu, you saId could ask 'em ,n the mornin. didn't you = Yes"
 And you won't ~h,p inc thea. ~in you z
 [" "Nor
 " iiu, you will to-nlgh, won, you - There comes your father, and II ,s . good ,hing for you, for 1 was going to ~h,p you"
 les for askin' ques,,ons ,s-nigh, 7" "Yrs.7
 bai you won't m the morn,n, ~sli you T
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10
LIM NINGS.

Henry Irving is said to have stagey walk. Of course he will ever be saved from such a fate, but the average stage walk in this country is a step from one cross. tie to another.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10

4 book which has lor iss sisie Hov so Aet." says: "There are many opinioss as to what constitutes 2 perfect geaele- man. but all authorities unite ia saying shaf the man vho blews his noss wish kis 6ngers is not . gsntienaa.1 Nsw tAe question arises, how must man hiow his nose? He can't blow t vish his f,ee.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10

"This is the third time you have called me liar, sir" exclaimed an excited man. That so :" replied the agressor. Only three times Then fear that have no, discharged my duty.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10

There is bond of sympashy between Henry Irving and Sullivan. the prize lighter, for they have both made hits in New York.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10

A correspondent of the New York Morning Journal asks: If put the egg oi .a duck under hen to hatch. IS the hen. in your opinion, the mother of the duok:' Not exactly. Only step Jr set mother
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-11-10

An editor who for years had attempted to attract the attention of the public by witty paragraphs, and who failed dis mally, wrote the following: The funny men of the press seem to be waiting for something 10 turn up, for we have not seen any humor in our contemporaries lately. These funny men are nuisances and if their papers were suppressed t would be godsend to the country" and he further avenged himself by heading a department of clippings. Alleged hu- mor." There are quite large number of writers in the country who attanp, to depreciaie humorous papers, bu, by in- ves,iga,ion you will find that they have attempted pleasan, writing and have failed.
 A justice of the peace, writing 10 the chief lastice of Arkansaw, said /" l, aint often that l ax mans advice, but on this here occasion thought I'd write to you, to see It you wouldn't agree with me on rulin' tha, made the other day. A feller was arrested an fo,ch before me fer shoorn' red steer, an l discharged him on the grounds that a red steer oughter be shot. never seed red aeer that didn't have the devil hid somewhar about him. He may seem to be in a good humor, an may tend to hi. busi- ness all right, bu, ~ais till he gets the chance an blamed if the devil don, show hissef- The chief justice replied: "Oi course am not possessed of all the facts on which you base your opinion, but as rule think that man is unsuitable in shooting a red steer, for the vorst jolt 1 .evez received was by one of these deviiish animals"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-04-26

Peppermint is grown Tor It's essence
chiefly in Western New York. Two
thirds of the supply comes from Wayne
county, which produces 10000 pounds
of oil yearly from 5000 acres. The
harvest begins in August, and the first
years crop is the best. The mint is cut
with sickle, scythe, or moving ma
chine, according to the fancy of the
cultivator. After cutting, it is allowed
to wither in the sun for five or six hours,
and is then raked into cocks where
it remains a short time before being
distilled. 1t is not every cultivator that
is provided with a still, but stills are
found distributed about the peppermint
region at convenient distances. The
apparatus and method differ from those
employed in Europe, where the fire is
applied to the still. In America the
still consists of q wooden tub or vat Of
heavy slaves hooped with iron. The
withered mint is packed into the vat by
treading with the feet until the vat is
full, when a cover made steam tight
with rubber packing, is fastened down
with screw clamps. A steam pipe con-
meets the lower part of the vat with q
steam boiler, and another pipe from the
center Of the cover connects the vat
with the condensing worm. The latter
varies in size according to the capacity
of the still, but becomes progressively
smaller towards the outlet. The worm
is so placed as to have a constant
stream of cold water surrounding it.
The steam from the boiler being admit
ted to the vat at a pressure of thirty or
forty mounds tho oil of tba mint Ia
volatilized and mixed with the steam
condensed in the worm. The mixed oil
and water are collected in the receiver,
where the differences in their specific
gravity cause them to separate, No
attempt is made to rcdistill the wafer
which separates, and considerable loss
of oil which is held in solution doubtless
results from the lack of economy. The
oil is packed in tin cans, or demiiohns,
holding about twenty pounds each. The
glass demijohns are much the best when
the oil is to be kept for any length OF
time, as its good qualities are more
fully retained, and it is less liable TO
discoloration. Oil of peppermint is
sometimes adulterated with turpeptine,
and also with oil of hemlock Pure oil
peppermint, as exported from Wayne
County is colorless, and resembles the
English oil, except that its odor and
taste are somewhat less pungent and
penetrating. The oil deteriorates with
age, and the aroma becomes more faint.
After a certain number of Years it
thickens, and the color becomes of a
yellowish tinge; exposed for a long time
to air it becomes resinous. Scientific.