The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-03-18
PILVERED PLEASANTLY

Compose thy sorroN, wipe thine eyes
OrlHA Ia Will ru. come tonight
For In tho milnights solemn hush,
Io bfedJhes uyow that smells Of wine,
He holds hand that Is NOT thine,
Aud dAlligs-with u bOblRil flush
II the knot wa, securely tied, Mira. David
Davis can defy the worst of Virgins storms
10 blow her away.
over two tons Of hairpus arc turned out
OF the factories daily, aud they can be seen
protrudlng from The feminine mouth at a
reasonable hour the next morning
Standing before clergyman who was
about 10 marry him, rustic was asked:
"Wilt thou have This woman, etc The
man started in surprise and replied: "Ay,
surely Whoy, | kummed puppus"
1t lisa glorious thing to have been born
man. One doesn't have To bother himself
for a month over the nlans aud spectica-
ti0ns Of new spring bonnet lie simply
has TO foot the bill when the thing is
brought home.
Old Mrs u. came to town last week from
Indiana on an exclusion, and wheA she was
asked why she was ia such hurry to leave,
she replied: 81 We got to go, you see rs how
! came IN ON an t1erllon train and my
ticket pcrSqiro, to-mrht"
You can calculate upon what girls will
do IN an emergency. The New York
boarding. school misses who pitched upon
burglar and held him until the police ar
rived, would, doubties' jump upon the
sofa and scream II mouse entered their
room.
CIergymen ought 90 be very careful in
the choice OF language, or serious results
may ensue MY brethren said one
lately, 81 will now pass" and before no
could proceed II sleepy nearer in the front
pew suddenly started into life and cried
out Then make it spades and play il
alone.n
a New Jersey boy who started west TO
exiermiuate Indians, was armed with four
dime novels Dime novels may be more
destructive to human life than toy pistols
and bowie knives, but the trouble would be
Tor bOv 10 get an Indian to hold still long
enough to read him several chapters of the
blood-lrcezing fiction
I New York man has discovered new
method OF utalHing leather straps The
! oid method, We believe, was To convert
them into improved clans, and Il the new
scheme l3 to use them IA making railroad
restaurant sandwiches, the discovery is a
! very important and acceptable one. Ii
might be possible TO insert the teeth into n
/ sandwich made Of leather.
/ Dumrsey went hunting the other day and
/ took Johnny with him. They saw rabbit
and Dumpscy drew up a2d shot The cap
/ exploded and there was Is long splu,ter, and
/ finally, just as Dumpsey took the gun down,
| the charge went of When they got home
! tho folks asked johnny What luck they had
! 'Oh, said johnny para saw rabbit,
but his gun Stammeted so be couldn't
| hit it,
| queer joke for Grandfather Punch.
| Miss Netherbley VIII you advise me as
| TO printing and publishing, Mr.. Sterreogh?
| have little work already for the press, but
have no experience Gallant puhlisher--
My dear madam, printing aud publishing
are very different things. For instance, il
/ print u rosy kiss on your cheek it is not
at all necessary to publish It," Miss Neither
blcy-"Sirl' Tsbleau.
LOOK out, exclaimed man over wboss
lace barber was moving razor, You are
cutting oil my mustache.n You didn't
~ me not to cut IL, the barber replied.
/ With me a maa must always specify. -
| AN right, SAID the customer. When the
barber had finished the man arose from the
chair, approached the artist, and gave him n
violent kick, Look out, you are kicking
mo, " howled the barber. You didn't teil
me not to kick you, With me a man must
always specify
When Ignorance is bliss" etc: Friend
| quilting long facel-"Hullo, WagstafT how
are you, old mani So grieved TO hear OF
your troubles, opeyou'rc all right again:
assure you ! fully symp-" WarstaiI
with surprise)-"Eh' Thanks-buJ I've
been all righl--never better in my life !
Troubles Must be some mistake" Frind-.
| we'll heare you had been seriously en-.
harraSsed-'n fact, that you'd been through
the court Wagstat( (enlightedl r
see You mean my creditors l.or, YES.
poor fellows they have had bad time OF
itP' (ESount, laughing.)