Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1883-06-02
A CHILD'S -SELF.RESPECT.

A CHILD'S SELF.RESPECT.
Nearly all mothers must meet, sooner
or later, the problem of how to rebuke
or punish a sensitive child without
wounding or destroying his self-respect.
lThe term self-respect here includes
that mild form of self-esteem which
often fortifies a child against ~discredita-
BILE acts). With different temperaments
entirely different methods are necessary.
Two children in the same family often
need opposite modes of treatment. I,
therefore, attempt to lay down nj gen.
eral rule, but venture to give my own
successful solution in one difficult case,
hoping that it may prove at lease sug-
gestive in other and similar ones.
/ early found self-resspect to be the
basis of all good manifestations in my
little daughter-the corner stone upon
which alone I could build firmly. If I
made the mistake of correcting her fault
in such a way as to lessen her self
respect, everything seemed to give way
beneath us-Ih had nothing left to build
upon.
When she was three years old I was
startled into deep consideration of this
matter. Up to this time she had been
so habitually and cheerfully obedient
that [ rarely corrected her, and she
lived in a joyous atmosphere of approval
very sweet to her soul. From the
height of conscious rectitude she obeyed
with the air of moblesse oblige, and her
prompt and loving acquiescence led us
to believe that no difficulty lay in the
path Of her development. But one day,
In q sudden freak of temper, she did
wrong, very wrong, and I, amazed and
shocked, rebuked her quickly, little
thinking how wrong it was for me to
say, 'You naughty girl! Mamma does
not tove you when you do sop Instantly
my loving little daughter was trans
formed. She screamed, pushed me
away, and sobbed herself into quiet at
Hast in a far corner. Even after COM
parative c%heerfulness was restored she
repealed all my advances, and carried a
strange, hard look in her face while she
played with her dollies, ignoring my
presence.
Within a few hours she disobeyed me
again, and, in reply to a gentle rebuke,
said sullenly: II not care-mamma not
love mel" From that time, for two
days, she showed a logged, hateful
spirit, willfully disobeying me and al
ways saying: II not care I not wamt
to be good!' or: IL not good girl;
mamma not love mel"
I saw, too late, that by calling her
naughty, and making her think my love
withdrawn, l had brought the sensitive
little soul to despair. Self-respect and
public respect were lost. She had no
motive for good behavior. The three
year-old desperate was equal to any
villainy. She despised the blandish-
ments of the mother who did not love
her. Her lips were unresponsive to my
kiss. She was absolutely cold and I'M
~approachable, yet with a most pathetic
look of misery haunting her eyes.
Finally, l knelt on the floor beside
her, and very tenderly explained that,
however naughty she might be, mamma
kUed her just the same; that nothing
she could ever do would stop mammals
loving her. An incredulous, hesitant
look was her only response. I then d.
lated on my theme, saying always that
1 should love her Gust the same"
''Just de sa7ne99" she repeated wonder
ingly. So, at last, l won my rebel. She
chung to me convulsively, and kept ask
ing in q soft, delighted voice such uues-
tions as these: IF l strike, does 90 love
me Just de saane?:" And when I said
that it would make me sad that I might
BE compelled to punish her, but that I
should love her just the same, she would
hug and kiss me in an ecstacy. For the
next twenty-four hours she continued to
propound, with wistful look, new
conundrums of childish infancy, always
ending with, land oo'd love me just de
same?"
At last she was fully reassured, and
ever since, through all vicissitudes of
discipline, she has had perfect conf
dence in my mistaken love.
Out of the %exigencies of this occasion
was evolved the scapegoat, which has
ever since proved Il brilliant success in
our family. I saw that so long as she
felt herself a "good girl" she Was 10th
to do anything unworthy of her lofty
ideal of herself. and that 1 must discover
some way of correcting faults without
discouraging her and lowering her self
respect.
Knowing that children enjoy person
iication, | wildly p~ersonifed her cross,
naughty, impulses as a naughty spirit
who delighted in making trouble.
''When he sees a dear, good little girl
like you he thinks: Now, I'll get her
into trouble;' so, when mamma tells
you to do something he whispers: