River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1883-12-13
Miscellaneous Reading.
THE FULF0RDS.

Could the whole Fulford family be boiled
down into one quadruped, and that quadruped
hunter. it would undoubtedly prove what is
known TO Nimrods as ''rusher."
The Fuifords are all alike in a good many
things. They are none of them in the least
clever; but in that they resemble the immense
majority Of their neighnors Stl l have Won
dered aud wondered how it is that with really
such rabbit-liks brains they do not make utter
shipwrecks Of their lives. / have partially
succeeded in solving the mystery.
First, their stupidity does not lie in the
direction Of not knowing how to take care o.
their money, of which they possess good deal
Distressed friends fash spectators, and, in
deed, the whole crew Of ''bleeder4," as the
slang term has 81, might appeal to them eter-
nalyiu vain. 1Ley have no heart and no am.
bition.
Secondly, although the world is quite aware
what small FRY, Intellectually, the FuifoTds
are, yet practically, and perhaps on that ac-
count the world is rather fond Of them, aud
acts as if IL could more easily spare better
family. You see they are living compliment
to every one else-the fol- or lackgrOun
against which superior people, and the stii
larger class of those who fancy themselves su-
perior, shine ont
Those who envy them their good looks and
means neither OF which, by the bye, are vers
because consoled br their ~ n al shortcomings
and general lack Of socai weight
Thirdly, they take their life easily to de-
gree marvellous IN deOple who are not phiioso-
pliers. 1T il due to their digestlons, won
derful constitutions ard SO forth." says the
world; and no doubt tuab has much TO do with
it,
When l say they take life easily, L mean as
TO It's troubles, cares and defeats; for, as ] be-
gan by announcing, whenever anything has &c
be q. from 4 tourney 10 wedding tneV are
instantly all fuss and furry
The eldest daughter Is married She mar
ried, in her first season, middle aged q. F.,
with lots of money, aud has now two children
the Fuitords ars ali prolific
But Miliieent has mug fire most distressingly
and her third season s now drawing to q close
Hitherto no Que has minded much, but now ID,
family nave just woke up 10 tbs fact that Win
ny and Flo, the Two uexE girls, who happen tC
be twin, are quite seventeen, and VII there
fore have 20 be pres -niei next season
Tie sort ofway tbeF all play with their cards
on the table Is a wonder 10 behold. II a son OF
whom. lIGe tle daughters, there are many, gets
pluckeI for an exam aud thew almost a WAYS
do get piueked--the whole family publish the
fact IN al directions and N never 10 feel
the modification OF such an occurrence in the
pleasure Of impafting 50 interesting piece oi
news.
Ia the present instance, about Muly, they al
announce tine fact wherever they go, AID almos
before neg fac5, that they are dying t. get hel
of their bands, on account u the next two who
are spTou ing up
They ind cons 5fation. 1 suppose, III airing
their grievance, aud, perhaps, also in thu
words 3f SYMPATHY which they evoke. Per
haps, too, they are in hop-s OF a useful sugges-
tou or a heIping hand Anyhow they co1lL
no more hold their tongue about shls that
pinche5 than many b4bes. What they wan
they must clayaor foT, Whc'her that Is the right
way 70 ger It Or no. Still l. is surprising how
oft ,fpa n q q. l.h win
Fulforis.
But though the family have no hearts, III the
higher sense OF the word, tHey not oaly
fairly affs ctionate, one to another, hut are
quite as capable of falh in love as Othel
people And THIS II what happened to hiilj-
cent a couple OF years ago, aud hence, prob
ably, why she has hung ire" so, as people
express il
You see Milly'a attachment was not one
where there was any immediate prospect OF
marriage Allan Cameron was a very nice
Young Scotchman, and looked very ''braW'' in
his kilt at the CaleJoriau TALL, whers Milly
first met him. But well shaped knees and a
wide chest, though solid eDo"gh in their way,
are not a foundation 10 marry upJn-uot, thai
is in civil Il d society. twas rue he had ctheI
recommendations which, though more cal
cula-ed t. pla aSe me father OF e Girl, had still
not the irrefragible claims of landed estate
or a bankers book When quite young he haC
requested 10 be put t. commercigl pursuits
to getting him 3 start in a great merchants
counting house III Bristol
He hai learned French and German in lis
spare hours: had Won the confidence of his
employers by his industry and puncuaijJy,
aud now, at three nd-tWenty, rad already
been seat twice 20 China and Japan by tAe
firm, and was III as promising 2 position
to become one day partner aud die a very
rich man as any young fellow IN The stfae
noble yet not "a ]hlouable walk of life Sui.
Fnr Gik,s his gUtV 400
year, nor could he and Mlticent, when they
had come To the stage OF discussing puss btiL-
ties DEVISE any feasible plan Tor stretching Il
10 r higher figure. Sue, like all the FuliOrds
was to have 100000; but that. a. the lovers
well knew, was reason altogether agains
dreaming of asking papa's consent instead O
hoping for it.
They were easy-going people, Papa AM
Mamma Fulford; quite incauable of str0nt
demon tratIuns OF anger or Indignation. Ihe1
knew all about the Camerou-Milly fItta ion
for that matter. it ALWAYS Went on before theI
ewes and was devoid OF the tllm5iest attemp
at cOncealm"nt; but they supposed all yon9e
people flirted more or less, aud if they though
any further about it, they We're rather sorry
for these poor Young fools. who had got th'
love fever so badly. aud were quite distressed
that it could never be.
,.You know You'll break that Young mani
heart" said old FHlford, pathetically, to hi
child one day he happened to have nothing
else to say.
'.Nonsense, papa I'm sure shan't"
sits nonsense Of course, but he may keeI
serious sujtnrs awav."
and why shouldn't he be a serious suitorT
ventured Mlly, blushIug
seThat's good, said papa, "why he hasn'
twopen,e. To be sure Il cuts two ways
mean the buzzing shout you. 1t attracts othe
wooer5. "
''Oh, papa, what shame! Pm sure if poe
That's good again Poor Allan is good"
sAud suppose [ choose to marry hump sai
,he Young lady. flaring up and stamping yer
IheG, NV dear" said the fond father, i'm
pertublbly, Il shouldn't give you one ia,
thing"
he meant what he said.
short time after the above little confab, Il
waking up as to the clearing the road for q
twins came and shook the house of Fuiford III
an earthquake.
What are Won about, mother" ask'
James. the second son. He evidently thong
a mother was sort of husband huutlI
houad. and sure to bring down her quarry
properly urged To It
"WeIi. nv dearest Jim, what can 1 do?
take her everywhere. I've told her us Fdlc
lous her no going OK "
absurd"
And IL makes people laugh at me-"
Then Howard, the eldest hope of the tu
forls, louaged in.
s,Fhi talking of Mlly2 Oh, YES, you kno'
Tsav dash il all mother. something must
donsW aud he pufei away at cigarette
waS consuming, as he thought even thai or
of energy might do good 10 the cause they nj
on band.
"TLats what I say" SAID Jim.
"If. instead of dr0uiug ON something ma
DO done you would kindly inform MS from q
depth Of your wisdom what that somethI
is" began p9or Mrs. Fulford, growing SIR
ami angry.
well. listen here. mater" quoth Howar
soothingIv 'Fm not a man of ideas, myse
bnt when hear enc dropped by auotae: 4
low. IL / nh it's worth anything, I've sen
enough - pick It up Now, Bangs was sayl
the other day
Lord Bangs Is the planet TO whom Howa
does moon. always, III fact, keeping his ia
she hapuens 10 have another face on the otu
side but 1 can't enter into that
The Fulfords are al tOadies, but hout
ones. wEs scorn to conceal the fact from q
one.
well, Bangs was saying that ali the 81
c5ssfal au-huuters now"
l.The whaty' chorused his mother and ii
swell. match hunters or man hunters;
ali The came He SAYS YOU may so On huuti
the, species forever aud do no good Whe
was !? l wish you wouldn't - me for
word. Oh, / know. Bangs saws that all
successful spoTkvomea single cut the parht
lar head Of game they mean 70 stalk, and Ii
deliberately hunt him down"
s,Bv Jovel a rare ideaW cried jim, who
Navs admired what his brother admired,
pecislIv If there was q lord in the case. Il
how tie tokens could chap like Bangs -
I'll