Western sentinel. [volume] (Winston [i.e. Winston-Salem], N.C.) 1856-1886, 1883-02-15
that BAD BOY.
"What was the health officer

Tag over to your house this morn
ing?" said the grocer to the bad
ho8,, as the youth was firing frozen
potatoes, at the man. who. collects gar
bage in the alley.
80, they are searching for sewer
gas and such things, and they have
got plumbers and other society ex-
perts, till you can't rest, and have
come. away for fear they would find
the sewer gas and, warm my jacket.
Say, do you think it is~ right, when
anything smells awfullys te.alwaEs
lay it to a boy ?"
"Well, in nine cases out of ten
they would hit it right, but what do
you think is the trouble oNer to
your house, honest ?"
"S-h-h! Now don't breathe a
word of it to living soul or / am
a dead boy. You see l was over to
the dairy fair at the exposition build
ing Saturday night, and when they
were breaking up, me and my chum
helped to carry boxes Of cheese and
firkins of butter, and cheese man
gave each of us a piece of limberger
cheese, wrapped up in tin foil. Sum
day morning [ opened my piece, and
it made me tired. 0, it was the
ofulest smell ! ever heard Of, except
the SMELL when they fo,aad a tramp
who hung himself in the woods on
the Whitefish Bay road, and had
been dead three weeks. It was Just
like an old back number funeral.
Pa and ma were just getting ready
to go to church, and [ cut off piece
of cheese and put it in the inside
pocket Of pas vesty and, I PVT an
other in the lining of MAJ muff, and
they went to church: I went to
church, too, and sat on a back seat
with my chum, looking just as pious
as though I was taking up collec-
ton. The church was pretty warm,
and by the time they got up to sing
the first hymn pas cheese began to
smell > match against mas cheese.
Pa held one side of the hymn book,
and ma held the other, and pa he
always sings for all that is out and
when he braced himself and sang
Just as Z amE' ma thought pas
voice was tinctured with billiousness
and she looked at him, and hunched
him, and told him to. stop singing
and breathe throasg1s his, nose. cause
his breath was enough to stop a
clock. Pa stopped singing and
turned around kind Of cross towards
ma, and then he smelled mas cheese,
and he turned his head the tother
way and said, swhew,' and they
didn't sing any more, but they look
ed at each other as though they
smeIled frowy. When they sat
down as far apart as they could get,
aud pa sat next to a woman who
used to be nurse in hospital, and
when she smelled pas cheese she
looked at him as though she thought
he had the smallpox, and she held
her handkerchief to her nose. The
man in the other end Of the pew,
that ma sat near, he was stranger
from RACINE, who belongs to our
church and he looked at ma sort of
queer, and after the minister prayed,
and they got up to sing again, the
man took his hat and went out, and
when he came by me he said some
thing in whisper about female
glue factory. Well, sir, before the
sermon was over everybody in that
part of the church had their hand
kerchiefs to their noses, and they
looked at pa and ma scandalous, and
the two ushers they came around in
the pews looking for a dog, and
when the minister got over his ser
| mon and wiped the perspiration
from his face, he said he would like
to have the trustees of the church
stay after meeting, as there was some
business of importance to transact.
He said the question of proper ven
tilation and sewerage for the church
would be brought up, and that he
presumed the congregation had no
ticed this morning that the church
was unusually full of sewer gas. He
said he had spoken Of the matter be-
fore, and expected it would be at
tended to before this. He said he
was meek and humble follower OF
the lamb, and was willing to cast his
lot wherever the Master decided, but
he would be blessed if he would
preach any longer in a church that
smelled like a bone boiling establish
ment. He said religion was good
thing, but no person could enjoy re-
ligion as we'll in fattening estab-
lishment as he could in flower
garden, and as far as he was con-
| cerned he had got enough. Every
body looked at everybody else, and
pa looked at, ma as though he knew
where the sewer gas came from, and
ma looked,a pa real mad, and ms
and my chum lit ont, and 4 went
home and distributed nay cheese al
around. I put a slice in mas bureal
drawer, and piece in the spare
room, under the bed, and Z piece II
the bathroom, in the soap dish, and