Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-07-04
WIZ AND HUI9a

Rabbits may net Naye very cunning
brains, hut they aI~ decidedly far-tniied
animals.
''What + the worst t'iht af,ou. rieE,-
es'" asked a teacher "fhriEscagei.y,
replied n boy, and he WAS Immediately
awarded prize.
A Northern crank made ont that the
Texas meteor was forctoid in the Bible.
After that he heard there was no nete-
or. He would have kicked himself ii he
had net been too religions,
Another survivor at Balahlava is dea,l
in England. Thus they are falling, the
mobile SIX hundred" by the ruthless
hand ct Time. BY the end of the CEN
tury, probably, there will not be more
talan nine hNndgad at thnxH talss u
Much 81 the trouble in married life
originates in disputing who shall carry
the pocket-book. A young Philadelphia
husband got around this trouble by let.
ting his wife carry the pocket-book while
he kept the money.
In the Isle of Man the rich are said Ia
be very arrogant toward the poor, hut
there is no tariff on alcoholic beverages,
and the inehriate OF limited means has
the satisfaction of being able to get rs
blind drunk as the richest man on the
island.
"When new railway il to be built In
America" says an English paper, "the
first thing they do is to break ground
which is done with great ceremony.
The next thing is to break the share
holders, which is done without cere-
mony."
The Crow Indians put rocks into the
bales OF hay that they sell to the govern
ment. As the Indian agents used to
put rocks into their sacks of -four, we
excuse them. 1t is gratifying to know
that there are some things the Indian
can learn from his white brother.
Someryille takes the first price for a
tender-hearted man. He is so sensitive
that he can't bear to see on hear his
wife saw wood, and when she tackles the
backsaw in the cellar he puts on his hat
and walks out of The house. . Sen,es'.
uilLe .jour,sa!.
4 light haired young Englishman af-
ficted with an impeachment in his speech,
entered chemists shop and said: Il
va~~wa want some pa-pa pa pas
tiles or ip--ip-ip-'f 'iiooravf' ex-
claimed the chemist, quite ont of pa
thence. --Foits Diners
WELL" observed 1+year-old boy,
knocking the ashes off his cigarette and
throwing down a printed catalogue Of a
valuable private library to be sold at
private sale, ..Well, he must have been
dry old stick. Five thousand books
in his library, and not single dime
novel about lnjuns or piruts among EN-
- HIilidnas.
4 philosopher who had borrowed
some money To pay for his nights !odg-
ing at a hotel, woke up III the night and
saw person climbing through the win
dow. With admirable nonchalance he
said to the intruder: Look here, my
friera. youth get--.into debt il yosi rob
me; for yori won't find anything but un-
rceiptcd tailors' bills in my pockets "
'.Mr. Jones, ! think + win have to
raise your board. said One hundred
and-twentyninth street clearinghouse
keeper to a gentleman whose appetite
seemed 70 increase every day. "Ah,
thank you very much tor your kindness
in raising my board. have been I'M
able to raise ii myself for some time. !"
During conversation upon politics
one OF the company remarked pbilosoph-
ically lit is pity everybody cannot
view these matters as impartially as !
do, No matter what the government,
so long rs it is good accept it; but Won
don't hear me believing everywhere,
Live SO and SOL That isn't my liner'
II know it ism t, responded another
guest, ''You re u Doctor
Bogus "0ld Master"
The artist Fakei around among pile
OF lumber in 4 corner and drew forth u
small picture that looked Odd and dirty
enough to have been the work Of the
court painter of one of the Pharaohs.
"There il is--:, Madonna ard child
Doesn't il thrill you to think you stand
famous old world artista Look closely
and tell me wha. you think OF IL !"
1t was unframed with the varnish and
brush marks showing up plainly on its
surface, while the sweet faces Of the two
figures locked out OF the surrounding
darkness with the heavenly expression
peculiar to.tho great painter.
lne reporter expressed his delight and
asked the value Of the gem.
''foG would hardly think Chat pictures
like that, with all The signs of age upon
them, could be turned out by the hun
dred every week. would yonP' asked
the artist. Bun they can aud they
would impose upon good judges, too,
Look at the back. II has that peculiar
old look that only belongs TO canvas
upon whose front paint has been depos-
tied. But look Mt the sides. The gen
tleman showed that the bent-down edges
on the side Of the stretchcr were OF
white painted canvas that would have
been covered up in a frame, and the
fraud was apparent. The painted can
vas was covered on the front Of the pic.
t,lre. and the operation evidently was to
get q canvas painted seasoned on
the side with some n .itral gray tint,
and then print upon Il, chrome fash
ion. the painting Intended to be forged
Then II fftii-:a,e ariis, had been employ
Cd, as soon as the chroino-paintlng Na'
dry, TO go over it with a brush, pick on.
the high lights and empasize the shad-
ows with his brush. thick coat Of var
nish was the next thing, ami the genuine
Raphael was ready for the market
Ptttsburg Despatch.
.seyer leave books D. pamphlets on,
OF sight in drawers for long ti.,a.