Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-08-30

The had Boy.


grocery, one evening, and the grocery
man got behind cheese box, while
the ghost continued in a supulchral
voice, doomed for certain time to
walk the night and, waving chair
round, the ghost strobe up to the gro
Gerry man, and with the other ghostly
hand reached into a box of figs.
NO, you ain t no ghost said the
grocery man, recognizing the bad boy
Ghosts do not 50 prowling around
groceries stealing figs. What do you
mean by this sinful masquerade busi.
ness? My father never had no ghost.
oh, we have struck it now, said
the bad boy, as he pulled off his mask
and rolled up the sheet he had worn
around him. We are going to have
amateur theatricals to raise money to
have the church carpeted, and | am
gong to boss the job
You don't say answered the gro
Gerry man, as he thought how much he
could sell to the church people for a
straw berry and ice cream festival, and
how little he could sell for amateur
theatricals. Who is going into it
and what are you going to play%
PA and ma, and me, and the min
lister and three choir singers, and my
chum, and the ministers's wife, and
two deacons, and an old maid are
rehearsing, but we have not decided
what to play yet. They all want to
play different play, and | am fixing
it so they can all be satisfied. The
minister wants to play Hamlet, pa
wants toplay rip Van Wrinkle" ma
wants to play Mary Anderson, the old
maid wants to play a boarding school
play, and the choir singers want an
opera, and the minister's wife wants
to play Lady Macbeth and my
chum and me want to play double
song and dance, and | am going to
give them all show. We had a
rehearsal last night, and | am the
only one able to be around today
You see they have all been studyir e
different plays, and they all wanted to
talk at once. We let the minister sail
in first. He had on a pair of his wife'S
black stockings. and Il mantle made
of linen buggy lap blanket, and he
wore mason cheese knife such as
these fellows with poke bonnets and
white feathers Wear when they get
an invitation to funeral or an ex-
curslon. Well, you never saw Ham
let" murdered the way he did it. His
interpretation of the character was
that Hamlet was a dude who talked
through his nose, and while he was
repeating lIamlet's soliloquy, pa, who
had come in with an old hunting
suit on, as Rip Van Winkle, went tc
sleep, and he didn't wake up till Lady
Macbeth came in, in the sleep walking
scene. She couldn't find knife, so
took a slice of watermelon and sharp.
ened it for her, and she made a mis-
take in the one she was to stab, and
she stabbed Hamlet in the neck with
Il slice of watermelon, and the core OF
the melon fell on pas face as he lay
asleep as Rip, and pa woke up and felt
the COB of watermelon on his face and
he thought he had been murdered and
ma came in hop, skip and jump, as
Parthenia, and threw her arms
around a deacon who was going to
play the graye-digger, and began to
call him pet names, and pa was mad
and the choir singers they began to
sing, "In the North sea lived whale
and then they quit acting. You'd Il
dide to see Hamlet. The piece Of
watermelon went down his neck, and
Lady Macbeth went off and left it in
the wound under his collar, and ma
had to pull it out, and Hamlet said
the seeds and the juice was running
down inside his shirt, and he said he
wouldn't play if he was going to be
stabbed with slice Of melon, SO while