Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-24

and put out the fire, but in doing
that l neglected my own conflagra-
ton, and vixen I got her put out, nv
coat tail and trowsers were a total
loss. Ny, but she looked like a goose
that has been picked, and I looked
like fireman that has fell through q
hatchway, My girl wanted to 90
home, and 1 took her home, and her
pa was setting on the front steps, and
he wouldn't accept her, looking that
way. He said he placed in my DOS
session whole girl, clothed and in
her right mind, and I had brought
back burnt Offering. He teaches
in our Sunday school, and knows
how to talk pious, but his boots are
of1ul thick. 1 tried to explain that I
was not responsible for the fireworks,
and thai he could bring in bill
against the government, and showed
HIM how l was bereaved of a coat
tail and some pants, but he wouldn't
reason at all, and when his foot hit
nee I thought it was the resurrection,
sure, and when I got over the fence.
and had picked myself up I never
stopped till got to Duffy's and I set
up with him, cause 1 thought her pa
was after me, and I thought he
wouldn't enter a sick room and maui
a watcher at the bedside of an invalid.
But that settles it with me about
celebrating. l don't care if we did
whip the British. after declaring in
dependence. l don't want nv pants
burnt of. What is the declaration of
independence good for to a girl who
loses her polonaise, and has her hair
burned off, and nigger chaser burn
ing her stockings? No, sir, they may
talk about the glorious 4th of July,
but will it bring back that blonde
wig, or retail my coats Hereafter I
am rebel, and I will go out in the
woods the way pa does, and come
home with black eye, got in q ra-
tional way"
"What, did your pa get a black eye.
too? l hadn't heard about that" said
the grocery man, giving the boy a
handful of unbaked peanuts to draw
him out. didn't get to fighting, did
he?"
mo, pa don't fight. 1t is wrong,
he says, to fight, unless you are sure
you can whip the fellow, and pa al
ways gets whipped, so he quit fight
ing. You see, one Of the deacons in
our church lives out on farm, and
all his folks were going away to spend
the 4th, and he had to do all the
chores, so he invited pa and ma to
come out to the farm and have q
nice quiet time. and they went. There
is nothing pa likes better than to 60
out on farm, and pretend he knows
everything. When the farmer got pa
and ma out there he set them to
work, and ma shelled peas while pa
went to dig potatoes for dinner. I
think it was mean for the deacon to
send pa out in the corn field to dig
potatoes, and after he had dug up q
whole row of corn without finding
any potatoes, to set the dog on pa,
and tree him in an apple tree near
the bee hives, and then go and visit
with ma and leave pa in the tree
with the dog barking at him. Pa
said he never knew how mean a
deacon could be, until he had sat on
a limb of that apple tree all the after
noon. About time to do chores the
farmer came and found pa, and called
the dog of, and pa came down, and
then the farmer played the meanest
trick of all. He said city people
didn't know how to milk cows, and
pa said he wished he had as many
dollars as he knew how to milk COWS.
He said his spechulty was milking
kicking cows, and the farmer gave pa
q tin pail and milking stool, and let
down the bars, and pointed out to pa
the worst COW on the place. Pa
knew his reputation was at stake, and
he went up to the COW and punched
it in the flank and said, sshist, con-
found you" Well, the COW wasn't q
histing COW, but histing bull, and
pa knew it was a bull as quick as he
see it put down its head and beller,
and pa dropped the pail and stool
and started for the bars, and the bull
after pa. I don't think it was right
in ma to bet two shillings with the
farmer that pa would get to the bars
before the bull did, though she won
the bet. Pa said he knew it was q
bull just as soon as the horns got
trangled up in his coat tail. and
when he struck on the other side of
the bars, and his nose hit the ash
barrel where they make lye for soap,
pa said he saw more fireworks than
we did at the Soldiers Home. Pa
wouldn't celebrate any more, and he
came home, after thanking the farmer
for his courtesies, but he wants me- to
borrow gun and go out with him
hunting. We are going to shoot .
bull AMI a dog, and some bees, may
be We will shoot the farmer, if pa
keeps on as mad as he is now. Well,
we wont have another 4th of July for
a year, and may be by that time my
girls polonaise and hair will grow
out, and that bull may become gentle,
so pa can milk it. Ta-ta."