Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-01-02
CREME DIES cHEoNIoUEs.

What the alleged WI s Of Pares Find to, Sag
in Their Ne,O papers.
An honest trace iman dies, leaving a
number OF debts, which his widow is nc
hurry to pay. A surviving friend of the
deceased demonstrates with her upon hen
negligence. "What!" he says, indignant.
ly, 'you hesitat tie about paying this mon
ey-about leaving Jour son an untarnished
namer' ''Ah, you see," sighs the widow
my poor dear husbands name was
Smith-and there are so many Smiths
that perhaps nobody would ever knoww
A managing director who has just made
an end of reading the annual report of the
| company, concludes with few laudatory
remarks concerning the staff, and especial
| ~ the cashier. As he sits down messen-
ger brings him telegram, which he pc
ruses not without giving marks of aston
ishment. "Ahem' he says, as he rises
once more. Gentlemen, / had Just told
you that our cashier was model of regard
for the interests Of the company, OF
promptitude in the discharge of all
his duties, and of scrupulous integrity in
the most trivial affairs. This dispatch
which he has just sent me from Brussels
confirms my estimate in all its details.
His regard for the interests of the company
he has shown conspicuously by carrying
off 100000 francs when he might Just az
easily have taken 100000. His business
like promptitude is displayed in the dis
patch of this telegram the instant he had
crossed the Belgian frontier; and as for his
scrupulous integrity gentlemen, he paid
for sending the dispatch instead of letting
it come on collectr'
The Able Provost, the famous author of
Manon Lescaut," was not rich, and like
the authors of his time resolved to be on
the lookout for rich patron. He accord
ingly addressed himself to the prince of
Cont, of whom he asked an appointment
as chaplain. Gas my chaplain ]" exolaim-
ed the prince in establishment. "But
good heavens, sir, never hear mass ~
" That Is precisely why ask for the ap-
pointment," said the able; +" I never say
itp' The prince did not give him the
chaplaincy, but he gave him an allowance
of 100 livres.
A young blood who is about to enter into
the holy estate of matrimony goes to seek
the advice of an old friend, his family doc
tor. "The girl, you see," says the young
man, with engaging fraakness, ''hasn't got
any tin now, but she has rich uncle with
heart disease that 81 don't know
about that" says the doctor, rehectively;
"a man with heart disease is apt to live
much longer than" But tits serious
case. Only this morning they called in
your eminent colleague, DR.. X-'' ''Then,
if they have, marry her, sir; you haven't
minute to loser'
A wealthy stock-broker passing along
the street surprises ten-year-old urchln
with his hand in the stockholders pocket
attempting to perform the handkerc hisf
trick. ''You young scoundrelw he ex
claims with severity 'are you not ashamed
of yourself to steal at your age?"
An eminent lawyer undertakes the de-
Tense of miserable and dejected-looking
man accused of stealing coat. He CROSS
examines the prosecuting witness and in
wolves him in numerous contradictions, tears
in pieces the fimsy sophistes of the oppos-
ing counsel. and winds up with such an elo-
qusnt peroration that The jury bring in a