National Republican., 1883-09-03


Round his mild face, even the stern shampoo
WIN not wear out the brains that yet remain.
III former times our thought must pierce beneath
Locks that hung thick as the white winter AeecE
Down the calm front of sheep on stormy lea,
Ere we could guess what treasure there lay nil.
life.
SOME mon are so lacking in hospitality th1t
they will not even entertain IDEAS Boston Trdn-
script
THE New Orleans Pcdmno says that in
Europe the freedom of a city, presented in snuff
box, is nothing to be sueezed at
THE Post Express says ho is now known as
"old man Harrison, the boy preacher"
THE management of the Minnesota state
fair has set apart day as bicycle day. Now, says
the Chicago Ne,os. ifit will only designate a cigar
ete day, dudism will receive a powerful impetus
In the great northwest.
THE Rev. Robert Collyer of New York, the
other Sabbath preached at 1lkley, England, In
church, the gates of which are proudly pointed
out as the work OF his own hands, when he was
employed at theforge.
PRoF. SHAPIRA's alleged manuscript of
Deuteronomy is creating such disturbance In
the archaeological world that communication on
the subject from Prof Annanlas would seem to be
in order Chicago Netcs
PRINCE JEROME NAPOLEON is going to is
sue NANTES o. Keep your seats, ladies, there ia
no occasion for alarm. Jerome is in the habit of
doing this sort Of thing whenever he feels a chill
coming on Chicago NeDs.
IF Mr.. Tennyson is in doubt touching the
proper meter in which to embalm the memory of
the late Scotch Gillie, he might make use of the
metric method employed by the author of "There
was young man from Bombay Post Express.
THE Lotos club will give Henry Irving a
banquet before he leaves London. We are glad OF
this, because with the fate of the George Edgar
troupe and Oscar Wildes play before our eyes,
there seems to be possibility that Mr. Irving will
find victuals rarity in this country.-Chfcd0o
Negs.
"YoU have been drinking again." said
wife to her husband, as he camo into the house,
holding tight to his breath, to keep him from fall
Ing Nothing to speak Of" he replied, II just
took thimbleful with Brown, on the way home"
Eyes" returned his wife, "a thimbleful. One of
the old fashioned kind-with no top."-Post-Ez-
press.
QUEEN VICTORIA has an income of over
S2,OO0,O00 The cars income is about Sl0,0OO000.
But then it must be remembered that Victoria has
much more liberty and great deal more fun than
the car President Arthur gets miserable
S5OOOO, and some of the patriots want 10 dock his
pay while he is on vacation-NetO orleans Plea
yune.
LYDIA THOMPSON, who is innocently re-
ferred 10 by exchange as still living" threat
ems to make another farewell tour of this country.
Coming just after the announcements that Noahs
ark has been discovered on Ararat and that the
original serpent of Eden is still wriggling near
Chicago, this archaeological advertisement will
fall comparatively fiat.
IT is in tho proper condition of gloom that
frf1t
recently discovered by Prof. Shapiro and sup
posed to be an old copy of the book of Deuter-
onomy, may prove the letter which Clara Louise
Kellogg wrote to King Ahsahueros upon the eve
of her sixteenth farewell concert tour in the
provinces of Nineveh.- Chicago News.
THE new attendant of the watering place
bookstore stood behind the counter with his head
a little OH one side and q white handkerchief
| around his neck, when dainty summer soourner
Stepped in, and fixing her blue orbs upon him.
asked: "Have you a Newport Aquarelle?" To
which, with thankful smile. he replied: mo,
marm; don't think it's nothiu' but common
bile. ."--Boston Commercial Bulletin.
| Now THAT the telegraph strike is over, says
Life, let us move Immediately upon the works of
the enthusiastic operator in New York, who cannot
see you dancing at the window with your message,
wild to send 1t off and frantic to catch the train
that is ust moving, until he has made his victori
Gus move in the game of checquers he is playing
with the operator in Denver. All reforms in teleg
| raphy were not definitely accomplished by tho
failure of the strike.
WHAT trivial things will sometimes cause
a stagnation in business, and cause the wheels Of
progress TO stop. For instance, says Pecks Sun,
a hog got into the Office of an Oregon paper and
eat up the roller, and the paper had to suspend
| publication until new roller could be ordered
| from San Francisco. No wonder the ancients ex-
claimed IN Hog Signo, Vincennes, Ind. The an
clients must have had one get into their printing
office and eat up their roller.-Peck's Sum-
Mr.. HENRY GEORGE, says the Chicago
| NeCs, is such profound philosopher and such
willing philanthropist that It is indeed surprising
that he has never solved and explained the
| problem, "Why 1t is that while the sun rises in
the east and sets In the west 1t is colder in the
east than 1t is in the west?" We have imputed
| this condition of affairs TO the bondholders OF
Beacon street and in the money sharks of Wall
street, but we would like Mr.. Georges views on
the subject.
ONE day an old negro clad in rags and
| carrying burden on his head, ambed into tho
| executive chamber and dropped his load ON the
floor. Stepping towards the governor he said {:
Am you de gubner, sah?' Being answered In
| the affirmative, he said If dat am fac Use
| glad ter meet yer Yer see Ibis way up dar in
| har dar Is some pervishuns In de constution fer
de culed man. and am har to get some OBJ 'em,
sah."- Whitehall Times.
| MRS. WM II. VANDERBILT is described as
a very sensible looking lady, who does not look
much over 40. She is dark, stout and quite tall
Her features are regular and her complexion
fresh. She dresses with extreme plainness aud Is
very unassuming. She is the most popular of tho
ladies in the Vanderbilt family She carefully
avoids all display, aud in this differs materially
from Mrs. William X Vanderbilt. The latter is a
southern woman, and rather given to showing OFF
the money of the family. 1t was she who planned
and carried out the great reception given last
| winter.
THE island of Java has ceased to fling forth
coffee disguised chicory, Its big volcano is get
| ting In its work breaking up bloated bondholders
and sinking the property OF pompous monopolsts
beneath the waves. Volcanic eruptions, earth
| quakes, water spouts, and floods have all COM
bined to make the destruction most complete
portion of the city Of Batavia, place of nearly
a hundred thousand inhabitants, was entirely de-
stroyed while tho island OF serang disappeared
beneath the waters not soul being left to tell the
tale. ofone colony Of 25O0O Chinese only 5000
escaped 1t is said that the entire crops of the is
land are destroyed.
THE head of tho family was preparing to
leave his home when he was suddenly approached
| by his little fye-year-old daughter who, with
fNuff hNauki