Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-03-28
Quaint Notions.

after singing ''Salvation's Free" to hear
that ''the collection will now be taken"
The prayers at the daily opening of the
| session Of the New York state assembly
cost So, which seems extravaganza, as il
is impossible to discover So of goodness in
the body.
At Dubuque church sociable the ladies
appeared clad in paper costumes. The
Herald man says they presented q novel
appearance. This is supposed to be an
allusion to dime novel.
Nebuchadnezzar ate grass, my son, be-
cause he was living at college boarding
house and he had to fill up on something,
and grass seemed to combine more nutri-
ton and cheapnass than anything else on
the bill of fare.
A preacher who was not well acquainted
with the elocutionary art placed the infec-
ton on the wrong word, following the
literal italic in Kings xiii, 81, and read:
'And spake unto his son, saying, saddle
me the ass, and they saddled him.
An English bishop querulously remarked
TO his servant that he was dying. ''Well,
my lord" said the good fellow, "you are
going to better place. "John,'' replied
the prelate with an air of conviction,
there's no place like old England
The Chinese have no word that is equiva-
lent to hell and no conception of such a
place. A missionary in an agricultural
district of China states that when he tried
to explain it the people asked if it was
anything to be raised. We trust he an
swered that it was.
Sunday-school teacher: ''What is the
first and most important of the sacra-
ments?" Little seven-year- old female
scholar: Marriage" Teacher: 80 no!
baptism is first and most important 4
Small girl: 'Well, it may be with some
folks, but marriage comes first in our
family; we are respectable people, we
are.''
An inquisitive temperance man: "Where
do the wicked men go who drink liquor?''
| asked temperance lecturer of small boy
at an Austin Sunday school. swell, some
of them go to Bornefeld's saloon and some
go to the Iron Front, but the wickedest
ones-the legislators always go to the
nearest saloon. If you ask pa he will show
you where you can get the best beer"
| A well-known Presbyterian clergyman OF
one of the lower Delaware counties, some
what famous as wit, was approached by
Baptist clergyman with the question:
'Well, brother, we're going to have new
bell for our church. What sort would you
recommends" There was twinkle be-
hind the Presbyterian parsons glasses,
and he answered promptly: SPY all means
a divingbell."
'What is promised to the righteous? '
asked mild and amiable Sunday school
teacher of small child at the far end OF
her class. Eternal Bliss quickly re.
sponded the child. "Quite right, my dear
child" said the mild and amiable. Sand
now tell me what is promised to the
wicked?" Eternal blister, ma'am," was
the prompt reply. The teacher pronounced
it theologically correct, but peculiarly ex-
pressed.
A Scotch minister, forgetting his spec.
taeles, could not read the hymn, so he said
''My eyes are dim; 1 can not Sec" The
precentor Immediately sang, "My eyes are
deem; 1 caw-noot see." The minister ex
planned, II spoke of my infrmity." This
was sung as the second line. The minis.
ter pleaded, 81 merely said my eyes were
DIM" These works were sung, and he sal
down, saying: 81 did not mean to sing 6
hymn" When this line was sung the ser
vices closed.
1t was very, very wrong in little "Tom
my's" uncle to teach him that Sunday
school verse wrong. Tommy" brought i
home, printed on blue card, and was tt
learn and repeat it alone the next Sunday
So he stood up before the class, and tn,
minister, and the visitors, and remembered
1.-THE cunning little fellow-just as hi
uncle had told him. Holding the card
verse in his hand, pretending that he coult
read, he piped up in his clear shrill voice
"Good at the bar for one beer"
Quaker was once advising a drunkart
to leave off his habit of drinking intoxi
eating liquors. "Can you tell me how Il
do it?' said the slave of the appetite. eyes,
answered the Quaker, sit is just as easy a
to open thy hand, friend" Convince m
of that, and 1 will promise upon my honor
to do as you tell me-" replied the drunkard
SWELL, my friend, when thou fndest an,
vessel of Intoxicating liquor in thy hand
open the hand that contains it before i
reaches thy mouth and thou wilt never b
drank again" The topper was so pleasel
with the plain advice that he followed 1t.
Don't Die in the House.
''Rough on Rats.'' Clears out rats, mice
|