National Republican., 1883-03-10


THE electric light will never be favorito
in domestic use for IL is agreed that ladies do not
! look Mt their best in IT,
= A MAN without any music in his soul sug-
gests that "swine.sonata" would be an appropriate
name for the Queen city.
AN anxious father exclaims "boycott the
cigarette" Well, If the boy has got the cigarette,
why don't you take It from him2
THERE is a st. Louis woman who sleeps only
two hours at night Her husband belongs to all
the secret organizations in the city.
AN Illinois doctor sent some medicine to
patient labelled, " Calmel-pizen" and the County
Medical society talk Of expelllng him.
BUTLER objects to mixing politics with re-
ligiOn. As his politics are democratic, we don't
see how he could do it ifhe wanted to.
GREEN hair is the latest fashionable freak
in Paris, and the swels who strut along the prom.
enades look like unripe watermelons ON stills.
SARAH BERNHARDT says that sho has no
intention of separating from Damala "but" says
the Chicago Times, auctions speak louder than
words"
IT is reported that Mrs. Labouchere will
return to the stage and will also assume the du.
ties ofmanager of theater Of which her husband
will be the lessee.
IT is said that Representative Holman, Of
Indiana hopes to be the governor Of that state
next term, aud will be backed for the place by ex-
Senator Mcdonald
AN English officer who was "under fire"
just four minutes In the Egyptian " war con-
fesses to n feeling Of shamefacedness in being the
recipient of four medals for gallant conduct.
MYSTERIOUS footprints twelve inches long
and eight inches wide are causing CONSERVATION
Mt Charlotte, N. c. In this connection II should
be rpmpmbprpd that gay uir ho lota
appeared from Chicago.
ARCHBISHOP LYNCH, of Toronto says that
Irelands impoverishment is due argey TO atera-
tons In the track of the gulf stream. He under
takes to demonstrate that during the last fly
years the climate there has changed very much
A WORD on Easter, which falls on the 25th
of March this year. The last time II fell thus
early was in 1912 In 1868 1861, aud 1881 1t also
fell on this date, and the next cases will he 1894
1861, 2OSj, 2Oi6 2O57 2l13 2i4 225 2o6 and so on.
| A MAN at stockton, CAL. who had been
sent to the chain gang for stealing, refused TO
work the other day, and was chained to post
| with one arm elevated NJ full length above his
head, where he was kept for over an hour ana q
| half.
MANY of the quail which go east are from
Indian territory, whore the Indians are poisoning
the birds with grain soaked in asoluion of strych-
nine. Perhaps some gentleman is hanging
around to make a match that he can eat sixty
quail in thirty days.
WHEN DIR. Wecker, tho celebrated Ger man
oculist removed Gambetta's right eye in 1867, mo
organ was pre- ,crved in spirits 1t is the eye,"
the surgeon said " of man who is sure to enact
an important part in the worlds history" He
was right, and the eye is still preserved.
The dearth of news in small rural villages
during the winter months is family suggested by
to the owego Times: "Alva Ball has had very
sick hen, but with careful swathing and plentiful
application of kerosene oil IT is in fair way of
| recovery"
| HALF the modern French anecdotes says
| the London World, "are simply washed versions
Of the stories told by Rabelais Boccaccio, or less
recondte authors What are now attributed to NJ.
| dc Bismarck or NJ. de Gortschakoh, used fifty
years ago, to be fatheredb by Rougemont or Talley-
rand, or Metternich."
The Rev. Mr. Eaton of New York preached
upon fashionable women on Sunday, but he said
this in their defense If woman is toy, It must
be remembered that man has done all he could to
make her SO. He has walled her round by forms
and customs till she has been able only to get q
glimpse Of the great world outside. He has tried
to make her clinging vine, instead of tree that
| can stand Alone"
AT the close of a dinner party in Philade-
phia not long ago, Signor Sulvini remarked to IL
fiend that certain lady among the guests was
one OF the most Intelligent women he had met in
| America. She Is intelligent" was the reply
land she is a good wife and mother, too" " Has
she children" exclaimed the tragedlan, in SUR
prise. Yes six" at is very strange," he said,
| after q moments thought, Every strange. How II
young and handsome woman has time to be in
telligen with six children to look after, cannCt
| understand"
LADY LoNsDALE was seriously injured
fortnight ago by fall from her horse If ladies
share with men the glories Of the English hunt
| ing field they also partakors of its pains and
perils. Only the other day in England a lady was
killed by her horses rearing, and lady in Glou-
cestcrshire was dragged n fearful distance. In
| Meath, within very short period, of two lady
followers" one was well nigh drowned by her
habit skirt catching in the pommel whom her
hunter fell into a swollen stream. Another put
| her shoulder out dropping into q lane. Both
ladies were very good riders.
A VIRGINIAN preacher, who bought his
butter from his brother Paul, sent for fresh sup.
ply for his Sunday dinner, and in the midst of
his sermon when his negro servant returned and
took his seat in the church. The preacher had
eloquenty related what Matthew, Mark, Luke, and
John had said In relation to the subject matter Of
his text, and he then said in laundering tones:
"And what does Paul say?" The negro thinking
tue QuebtlOH uuuresbeu 10 ill, repeui III the near
Ing of the whole congregation: Marse Paul says
as how you can't get any more butter till you've
paid for dat you got last week."
NJ. A. RoUJoN tells of u dog that can pro-
nounce the words ma maman Considering the
intelligence of dogs, it is perhaps matter of
prise that such stories are not commoner. 1t has
been suggested that the cause may be in the differ
ence in structure of the vocal organs. At all
events, the lower mamalia, asa rule, do not hear
i human speech. II is the parrot, aud not the IN n.
key, that learns to talk. This has struck the oh.
servant negro, who is said to have theory that
the monkey can speak, but will not do so lest he
should be made TO work. II the monkas had ar
rived at this generalization, they would soon fiud
that even the mutes must do something in the
complex organization OF civilized life.
A CURIOUS order connected with the Mill
tary service has been issued by the police master
Of 81, Petersburg complaining of officers in the
reserve continuing TO wear their uniforms, in con-
travention oflaw, and commanding theinspeotors
Of police to report all persons thus wearing tho
whole of their uniform, parts of II, at the office
of the military commandunt The fact is that a
very large number Of officers who have quilted
active service are so miserably poor that they
positively cannot afford 10 buy respectable civil
ian attire. TO prevent such men from wearing
their old military overcoats or forage caps, is a
privation that only those who know what the
, poverty engendered by the military system in
Russia is can at all appreciate.
The widow of Heinrich Heine has lust