The banner-enterprise., 1883-04-19
The Brakeman at Church.

u
Benares.' To me comes the brakeman,
and seating himself ON the arm of the
seat, says:
i went to chm eh yesterday
Yes? | said with that interested in
flecton that asks for more. And what
church did You attend"
Which do you guess 2 he asked.
Sore union missiol church =? | hGt-
arded.
Now, he said, i don't like to run on
these branch roads very mucn. don't
often 20 to church, and when | do, |
want to run on the main line, where
Your run is regular and you 30 on
schedule time. and don't have to wait
ON connections. don t like to run on
a branch. Good enough, but don't
like it.
Episcopal !? guessed.
Limited express he said, all palace
cars, and two dollars extra for seat,
fast time, and only stop at the biz sta
tions. Nice line, but too exhaustive for
a brakeman All train men in uniform,
conductors punch and lantern silver
plated. and no train-boys allowed. Then
the passengers are allowed to talk back
to the conductor, and it makes them too
free and easy. No, | couldn't stand the
palace ears. Rich road, though. Don't
often hear of Il receiver being appointed
for that line Some mighty nice people
travel on it too
'Universalist 2 | suggested
Broad gauge, said the brakeman !;
docs too much complimentary business.
Everybody travels on pass. tondnc'
tor doesn't get fare once in fifty miles.
Stops at all tlag-statons, and won't run
into anything but union depot. No
smoking car on the train. Train orders
are rather vague, though, and the train
men don't ret along well with the pas
sengers No, | don't 20 to the Univer-
salist, though know some aWiaily good
men who run ON that road
Presbyterian !? asked
Narrow gauge, eh?' said the brake
man, pretty track, straight as a rule !;
tunnel right through Il mountain rather
than 90 around it spirit-leyel grade +;
passengers have to show their tlcket
before they ret on the train. Mighty
strict road but the cars are little mar
row have to sit one in n seat and no
room in the aisle to dance. Then there
is no stop-over tickets allowed got to
20 straight through to the station you're
ticketed for, or you can't get on at all.
When the cars full no extra coaches;
cars built at the shops to hold just 50
many, and nobody else allowed on. But
YOU don't often hear Of an accident on
that road, It's run right up to the rules.
"Maybe you joined the free-Phinkers"
| said
Scrub road said the brakeman, dirt
road.bed and no ballast, no time-card
and no train dispatcher. All trains run
wild, and every engineer makes his own
time just as he pleases. Smoke if you
want to kind Of Il 90 you-please road.
Too many side tracks, and every switch
wide open all the time, with the switch
man sound asleep and the target-lamp
dead out. Get on as you please and
OIL when you want to. Don't have to
show your tickets, and the conductor
ism t expected to do anything but to
amuse the passengers. No. sir, | was
offered pass, but don't like the line
don't like to travel on a road that has
no terminus. Do you know sir lasked
a division superintendent where that
road run to, and he said he hoped to die
if he knew. asked him il the general
superintendent could tell me, and he
said he didn't believe they had a general
superintendent, and if they had, he
didn't know anything more about the
road than the passengers. | asked him
who he reported to, and he said, No
body. asked II conductor " no he got
his orders from and he said he didn't
take orders from any living man or dead
Ghost And when | asked the engineer
who be got his orders from, he said,
he'd like to see anybody give him orders;
lc u luu lHdl lidlu w sun hlHleti, VI |
ne d iun her in the ditch. Now You see
sir, I'm a railroad man, and don't care
% run on road that has no time, or
makes no connections, runs nowhere,
mi has no superintendent 1t may be
Ii right but Eve railroaded too long to
understand it
Maybe YOU went " the Consre CATION |
i church !? said
Popular Road, said the brakeman, |
an old road, too one Of the very oldest
n this country. Good road bed and
comfortable ears. Well managed road,
90 directors don't interfere with diyis-
on supcrntendents and train orders
roads mighty popular, but it's pretty
too. Yes, didn't one Of
he division superintendents down East
discontinue one of the oldest stations on
his line two or three years ago? Bn;
is mighty pleasant roai to travel on.
Always has such splendid class of pas
engers.
Did you try the Methodist | said
Now you re shouting he said with
ONE enthusiasm. Nice road, ell?
last time and plenty Of passengers
Engines carry poNcr Of steam. and
on't you forget it F.; steam gm,e shows
hundred and enough all the time
lively road; when the conductor
houts all aboard, you can hear him
o the next station Every train light
hines like headlight etop-ovcr
hecks are given on all through tick.
IS; passengers can drop off the train
$ often as he likes, do the station two
II three times and hop on the next
evival train that comes laundering
.long. Good, whole sodied, compan
enable conductors; amt u road in the
ountry where the passengers feel
more at home. No passes; every pas.
enger pays full traffic rates for his
icket. Wesleyan air brake on all
rains, too; pretty safe rnad, but
idn't ride over it yesterday.
Perhaps you tried the Baptist? |
uessed once more.
'Ah, ah' said the brakeman, she's
daisy, isn't she? River road, beau
iful curves; sweep around ANYTHING ,