Arizona weekly citizen., 1883-06-02
htrar Un.

A colorsd waiter is service sable person.
 It's always "put up or shut mp with ibe umbrella.
 To communist n beer saloon the ship ot state is 30 schooner.
 Yes. there Is quite difference be- tween an entry clerk and a hall boy.
 The best thing about a rainbow is that i- does not stay out lt.er darI. lt has not the absurd habits of the crank comet
 A Florida man killed a Tattles1ake by throwing a glass of whiskey il it's face. l. wasn't the effect o- the hQuOr that caused the reptiles death, but 1t was the horror os the mans reckicss eXtrava- gaHce.
 An article recently appeared iu e Chi caro newspaper, headed, Kissed by her Husband" There was @ large sale of the paper that day, the rumor becoming current that a scandalous article ap- peared ID that issue. Lowell CitIzen.
 .i have very dear lover seventeen years old. What shall ! send h.m for a birthday present :'-L Lucv"Seud him moustacae cup, dea-.' Consult the ad- veItisiug columns of some college pa Der 1T you cannot aff -d a new one.
 d man at Omaha toal3 53 on .he streets, and he advertised the find Go the extent of S7 and made the loser foot .be bIi. Is is sometimes U.sagreea1le to meet an honest man.
 They were discussing an elopenent, and one lady, turning to her friend, said: Don't you believe if would kill you if your husband was to run away with another wonaHE "it might, was the reply; 'sreat joy sometimes kills. Home Talk.
 A melancholy poet asks. Where are the springs of long ago: E-ad, rle old rlGu, trying Co discover the where shouts of the spring of the present year IS trouble enough for us, without gong back into the past to look mp others Boston Post.
 ''No, my son, a knJweiei-s Of history isn't necessary tn a Dnp's slaIug con yeTsati5n. All tnac is requisite I7 glib tongue reinforced toy c0uious check. Talk away as fast as you like; tle faster
  know whether you are right or not Bos. Trans.
 4 young author war -oii'1gof his woes with regard Co a book. Said Lc: "I gave It to one publisher t1 read, and he accepted , and ,d be " uli publish lt Bu three lays later Le committed ~UI- ci.e. Then | showed ,t Go auo-ler uub- li-ler. IT.. a-rCaI Co ru1li l i-, and the nrNt week took alt L', partner L uey and fled to Eu-1p-. A. then what the biazes are you laughing at
 Augustus was told Of an extrayHgant Roman knight. who had wasted all hIs When his goods were sold at auction Augustus commissioned a per son Co blt for uis pillow. Being asled why Le wished this article of furniture iu particular, he replied: "SuGh p'l- low must be very desirable upon which l man SD deep in ie1- cogid sleep so souudly.'
 A mar;iret 0f a sergeant turn up uu- egptctedIy J1 call cut a fa;igue party. Oliv one soldier answers to the sum mons with 7rOmp,i.uie. "Coufound t all Co cJ1fg s1I. wells the irut iteu HAal.'HAs " laHa A-- HNNa a.aaAAA .a 70 thousand devils do yoB mean by turning ou; alone, sir. when 1 called ou- the whole sgulG2 Fory-ti-hl hours iu the black hole, Iha.U teach you Co be the only man to turn out.'
 saiyiui has mastered tbe English ton -u- 7U.iiIelt.y to comprehend ordinary and his replies to com mrnt, made upon yari0ns subjects are quite amusing. How man a autograph ,o day2' be asked 1ir. Blrnham oi the Globe. Boston. "Dniy ten,' was the reply Good" said the siEnor. Auurleeni lhis secretary yer mIoch dead away"
 A white man not long since sued a black in one of our courts, and while .hg trial Was before the jadEs the Hti- gauts came to aD dmicabi5 settlement, ! and SD the counsel stated to the court. ! "A verbal settlement will not guswer,' replied the judge; 'It must be la VII -iu,." "Hrre IS the agreement iu black and vmte,' responded tue counsel, Co the reconcl,ed parties pray what does you- honor want. m ra tlau fll.