The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1883-12-27
Amt BETHTA.

AUNT BETHIAe
1t may be that our oId-fashioned aunt
needs no introduction. Perhaps you
have met her in the city at some recent
art exhibition, or picture sale, where
she set among the crowd, a little be-
wildered, but sufficiently alert, listening
TO the glib chatter of the critics as they
discussed the merits of some thousand
dollars landscape.
The same being, rs she declared to
the friend accompanying her, "only
picter of what anybody can see for
nOthin' up to Craney Holler,' where
she lives. "Why," said she, regarding
the great work of art with one eve
severely shut up, "jest 90 to our back
door of a summer morning and stand
and look, and there you have it, for all
the world!
1.-THE same smooth, green medders,
with the pretty brooks windin' through
'em, and on both sides, to the right and
left, the pastur' lands where the cattle
are fed, so peaceful and contCnted; then,
way off in the distance, them sollem-
loOkin' mountains, with the shadders
creepin' round 'em, or restin' on their
tops; and all the time the sun shines
bright and pleasant down below in the
valley.
q / do declare, could a'1nost believe
the man stood in our back door when
he painted that picter!
1T is a han some view and no mis-
take; but don't it seem pity to spend
so much money Jest for q l)icter, when
you could buy a small farnl-a he pic
ter, as it were-for q thousand dollarsr'
She sees much in our city to disap-
prove. Most of the so-called modern
improvements are denominations to Aunt
Bethia
The electric light finds no favor in
her eyes.
How must our Maker look on 't?''
she asks, Indignantly.
8 1t wouldn't be so bad if they only
used il as they do gas, or kerosene lie;
but when they come to light up all out
doors with it, and make it take the
place o the heavenly bOdies-that s
what call impious! nothin' more nor
less than tryin' to Guido the Creator!
when the moon and stars. don't
shine, let folks walk in the dark, or else
carry . lantern! says she, whimsically.
The telephone she regards as an in
fernal machine, and insists that there is
something supernatural about it.
She has never been prevailed upon to
use it once.
~ won't have anything to do with it
in any way nor shape!' says she. jest
as if any human invention could do what
that thing does!'
So she always keeps n safe distance
from it, as if ii were liable to Ego off,
at any moment OF play some diabolical
trick upon her.
She does not approve of the "Ouincv
Method y in our schools, and much pre-
fcrs to have the children learn their les
sons from their books and recite them
standing in nice straight line, with
their toes to n crack in the floor. She
would like more prominence given to
order and to the Ten Commandments;
and she sadly misses the dinner-b as-
kets and tie WATERFALL and tin dipper.
She does not like the new version of
the Scriptures; her mothers Bible is
good enough for her; and she takes no
interest in the great controversy, except
to mourn that there should be such
wicked and disorderly gCings-On in the
world.
She went to see the opera of PA
tience, and her womanly soul was
shocked beyond repair at the conduct
CT the lOve-sck maidens; she felt per-
sonally Inundated and disgraced, and
sat there with burning cheeks, not dar-
ing to 60, and too indignant to stay and
see it through.
Words were thrown away upon her.
''All the words in the English Ian
guage," she declared to us. "cOuldn't
excuse or explain away such n
shameful exhibition immodest
behavior on the part of them Young
girls. The trOllopes!' said she, angri-
~, "where in the world were their
mothersP Poor things, though" she
added, as an afterthought, perhaps
they hadn't any mothers; can't be-
lievc they had"
Estheticism and the Renaissance. as
she understands them, are only delu-
sions of the adversary, invented to ruin
weak and idle souls who loiter in the
by-paths of life, and she believes the
only salvation for such is to 90 to cork.
Let EN- do something practical, g"
she will say. If they're so main
fond o suntlowers let 'em 90 to raisin'
'em by the cart-load! they're excel
lent chicken fodder, as everybody
knows. did see whole acre on 'em
once all CROWN together; they was in
full blow, and looked Gurus enough
with their big round faces turned toward
the sun. Oscar Wilde says, you know.
that they resemble a lion; and they do
look about as wise and KNOWN"
There's nOthin like work for keep
in girls out of mischief" she is fond o.
saying.
when our girls leave school let 'em
take right hold aud help their mothers
with the homework and the plain sew
in and takiu' care Of the baby. and
then thew won't lie hankerin' to paint
pots and Jars or to embroider sage
Green curtains and table-cloths. Though
WHY that color is called S0ge-green l
can't imagine it certainly amt the
color of any sage that ever grew in my
Garden; and its unaccountable to me
that so many folks nowadays prefer
such dirty, faded-out cOlors that you
can't look at without feelin' sick and
faint. when there's plenty Of pretty
bright ones that will aCdSb and 6tte, as
it were. -
Aunt Bethia is a born nurse, and as
such is recommended by the 'Holler'
folks with as much enthusiasm as their
own favorite spring bitters or cough
remedy.
She is indeed excellent in case o
sickness, and she comes at such times
like a veritable angel Of mercy, bring
'ng with her her soft voice aud gentle,