The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-26
Concerning speciae Wants.

Concerning Specific Wants.
I am far from thinking that I am the
only woman in the world who has spe-
:ifc wants-such things as are not
needs, but a desire for certain things
hat will add much to my pleasure and !:
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES l can get along
without, and for the purchase of which
1 never have money enough left after
he necessary things have been supplied.
So 1 60 on year after year, hoping all
he time to be able to indulge myself
With the qualification of my special
lesires. That is, my method Was that,
out I have, after great experience, |
changed my plan. donotsuppose any
one yet was so rich but that he was cir |
,umscribed by limitations and his de-
signs outran his purse if given free rein;
but there are thousands of people who
eel that they can afford certain luxu-
-ious items-as dainty perfumes, a
choice rose-tree, a cambria handker-
chief, an artistic lamp, or vase, to say
nothing of more costly wants. Not
w~ithstanding that it is a general belief
hat more money is spent on women
and by women, than is spent on men,
Or by men (Which I do not believe), it
Is undeniably true that women, as a
Glass, are far more saving than men
they economic and sacrifice in a hun-
dred ways that men never think to do,
nor could easily be persuaded to do.
Now, it may he a heresy in the camp
of economy to preach the doctrine Of
self-indulgence, but I have come to
believe in it 'sall the same" I fndthat
If T uoru pouoh want q fhfnr II ia tho
better way to get it, and trust to
.'Providence' for necessities, and as yet
I have failed to see that anybody has
BEEF less comfortable for my self-indul-
gence; so / conclude that where n has
a sum of money! to spend, the bestcourse
to pursue is to buy first the things she
very much wants, and which she could
do without, and let all the pinching and
contriving fall upon the necessarfes OF
life. If you do not believe in the wisdom
Of this, try it for one good, long while,
and you will surely find out!
The little ''foolishnesses' that women
usually want, when procured are nearly
always what contribute to the pleasure
and happiness of the whole family, and
are. of an enduring character. And,
really, what use or sense lies in forever
denying ones selfp Ihave heard the
good old adage from childhood, "The
way to do a thing is to do it." "The
way to knoW a thing is to find it out"
And to these I would add, "The way
to have a thing is to haze IT,"
Moreover, the quality of self-indul-
renee gives n place and power over
self-sacrifice. How often do we see one
member of a family especially INDUCED
in a certain direction, because his OF
her preference for a thing is specially
marked, although every other member
may like it equally we'll, but says less
about itp And how universal is it among
wives and mothers to sacrifice them
selves to the last gasp for husband and
children, until ''mother" becomes such
a statue of self-abnegation that the fam
ily ceases altogether to think of her as
a human being with natural desires fol
good, appetizing, fashionable and sly
lish things like other people. She pour.
out the last drop of tea or coffee and
serves the final berry in the dish to the
family, and pretends that she herself
don't care for any, and if there is any
s.scrimping'' in the sugar or coffee she
is the first one to accept that. All in
I'LL Glc SCll-SdCIl ltCluO WOl1dn lS-o-d
fool! The beauty of ~self-sacrifice has
been preached since the world began,
for aught we know, and woman has been
it's exemplar! "Self-sacrifce-that most
lovely trait of woman!, And woman
geese that they are!-go ON in their self
abnegation until if they should spend
one round dollar on a first-class dinner
at a hotel when they went to town shop
ping they would feel as condemned in
conscience as if they had broken the
third commandment. If any woman
can tell what she gains by her con-
tinued self-abnegation, she can do bet
better than I. I think the self-assert-
ing woman compels and maintains an
amount of respect from her husband
and children that the self-sacrificing
woman never can and never does get.
Human life is but a span-we are soon
at the end of it, and if we early learn
10 make the most of it we are fortunate.
| Above all, oh, wife and mother! make
yourself the most important factor in
| your family-the most imposing, the
most requiring, as you are the most de.
serving one. The more you require
your family to serve you, and to sacri.
fee themselves for your best develop.
nsent, for your best physical and mental
| good, the better for all concerned, fol
| there is no influence in the family sc
enrolling, so admirable, so every-way
desirable, as a superior mother-s
mother for the children always to re
spect and to be proud of. If you make
a slave of yourself for your family, YOU
are the largest sort of a fool. At the
last for vour Mains. Won will he huno
aside like a used up house-cloth. Sc
give yourself a chance-buy books and
pictures and flowers, and pretty frock'
and well-itting boots, and collars anc
cuffs and perfumery, and CASTLE soaI
and hair-brush-and, if necessary, le
the family go without sugar and butter
and coffee.-Mary Wagner Fisher, u
Rural NeU Yorker.