The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1883-10-05
Paragraphs Of wit.

cts early, isn't it?" yawned the boy,
lazily turning in bed to the sound of his
own name, muttered in wrathful shouts;
tits early, isn't it?"
81 don't know whether it is or not"
roAred his father; "but l amp
! And before the plant skate-strap was
half tired, the boy made up his mind
that if the old gentlemen had been q
little %surlier, the bastinado wouldn't
have lasted half throug h the sentence.
But it lasted quite long enough asst was.
Not me of the cackling old hens in
this country appearto know or care that
a Florida turtle will lay 14O eggs in a day
without making the least bit of noise.
The hen fuss rel one little egg is alb
surd.
Mamma" said a little Covington boy
"what does 'helufa' mean?" "Why,
my child, I don't know. I never heard
such a word. Where did YOU l;ear it?"
Papa said it." "When?" "Sunday
morning. l heard him tell Mr.. Jones
that church was a heluffa place to 90
when the fishing was SO Il me-"
A Chesterfield in tatters: SIS the lady
of the house in?" asked a tramp of the
servant who rang the door-bell of one of
the stateliest mansions in Austin. "De
lady OBJ de house don't come to de door
to talk wild de likeobyou." 'Then, said
the tramp, elevating the remnant of a
hat. with a grace Chesterfield might
have envied, "tell the lady of the house
q gentleman wishes TO speak with herin
the parlor."
A knock-down argument: Mrs. Percy
Ballavoine Tubbs-Tom has had awful
bad luck-poor fellow! MI. p. B. t.
What rubbish! Bad luck means bad
management. A man of sense keeps his
wits about him and his eyes open, is
prepared for bad luck and sees it COM
ing. Ii he hasn't Intelligence enough
to get out of its way he deserves-Mr.
P.B.T is hit by a SNOWFALL and knocked
into the middle of next " Elk.
swell, sir, where do you work, Sam.
uel?" inquired a Chicago Judge Of a col.
ored prisoner, yesterday.
Il W ork in a bank, sab"
"What under sun is your position in a
bank9"
"I'se a teller, sah."
"What bank is this you speak of, and
what are your duties as teller"
tits AL Hankin's ferry bank. and ]
tells the gamblers that they can find any
sort o. game they's spilin' fur, sah."-
Chicago Eye.
"Ought clergymen YEA mustaches?'
asks Methodist Advocate. Why not?
We should think q minister of the Cos
pei might be permitted to wear a nus.
tache, when Lydia Tompson is allowed
to wander about with one bracelet.
Certainly, parson, brace up and wear q
mustache like King Humbert's. if you
don't object to looking like a "thirty
days after taking" advertisement.
A lady once wrote Roscoe Conkling a
note when he was in the Senate, asking
permission to bring her little girl to see
him. He replied in a courteous note,
naming the hour at which he would re-
ceive her. At the hour named the lady
and child stood before him. "Mary,"
said the mother to herIceild, "this is the
great Senator Conkling." eyes, little
Mary" said Lord Roscoe, with a Jovian
smile meant to- be encouraging, "but
remember" solemnly lifting his fore
finger, 'tthat there is q greater than
Senator Conkling."
The girls in n ofthe large New York
tobacco houses have struck. Oh, well,
that strike lisa failure at the start. for
being out of work not a girl will Havana
one to back her. That 's'nough of that.
Give us a sneezy one. At-chewl
Judge Richie, of Frederick, Md, has
sixteen beautiful and accomplished
daughters, only one ofwhom is married.
This is what the French would call an
embarrassment of Ritchies.
"Young Politician" writes: "Why
does a state have alegislature?" My dear
boy, it doesn't. The legislature has the
state, every time. Has it by the throat,
by a large majority. Has it by the pock-
et-book. Has it on its back.-Somerville
Journal.