The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1883-04-25
LAY DISCOURSE.


the nail on the head when asked how his
downward course began. He said it began
in trying to beat 2:I0 with three-minute
horse. How many people in all branches of
business are trying to beat 2:40 with q three.
minute business? The man who has a
small business that is paying him, and goes
into debt and tries to spread himself over
too many eggs, is trying to beat 240 with a
three-minute horse. The young man who
gets a small salary, aud srends more money
for ice cream and periumery and neck ties
than he earns, is trying to beat 2:40 with n
three-minute horse. The girl who is cal.
culated by nature to be the wife of a me-
ohanic, and gets above her business and
looks with scorn upon man who earns his
living by hard work, will look at an old
maid in the glass few years from now, and
realize that she has been trying to beat two
forty with a three-minute horse The or.
dinary every day sort of man. who is
elected to small Office, by a big majority,
on account of men voting for him for char
ity, aud who thereupon aspires to q big Of
flee for which he is untitled will be nomin.
ated fer the big Office some day and be
beaten higher than kite, and he will then
feel of his aching head, examine his empty
poeketbook, look around at the debts he has
contracted, and the enemies he has made,
and il will suddenly come to him that he has
been trying to beat two forty with a three
minute horse. The man or woman who
leaves n profession or employment to which
they are fitted, and in which they can be
prosperous and happy aud have friends aud
goes upon the stage to compete with men
and women who have been brought up to it,
and who have made success by a lifetime OF
hard work, will some day realize to their
sorrow that they have failed to beat two
forty with n three-minuta horse. The
young man who has been left fortune by
dead father, who has worked a lifetime to
accumulate riches, and who changes from
beer, that was good enough for him before,
to champagne, and plenty of it, and who
can't find places enough to spend money
without sitting up all night, and who finds
old sledse and peenuckle too tame, and
gets that his sisters are splendid company,
and gets acquainted with quick girls and
buys them diamonds as big as pieces of
alum, will in few years be walking on his
uppers, and having fur collars pinned on to
linen ulsters for winter, and he will wake up
some morning with the almightiest headache
on record and como to the conclusion that
trying to beat twoforiy with three.minutc
horse is what ails him. The summer resort
hotel proprietor who fits mp an old rookery
and fills ii with guests, who are seeking COM
fort, aud charges them Fifth avenue prices
for Bowery accommodations, will look ut his
empty house the next year and say the sea-
son is backward, and when the guests do
not come with the dog days, he will sudden
Iy scratch his head and say he made fool
of himself last year in trying to beat two
forty with three-minute horse. The
whole-souled, good fellow, everybody's
friend, gets to drinking too hard, aud as he
is healthy, he gets an idea he can heat wins
huS 5anlo enat 80 many have tried and
failed. lie keeps it up until his nose gets
red, his eyes bleared and his voice shaky,
md he has n whiskey cough, and his friends
Try to reason with him and get him to let
up, but he laughs Mt them with his good
natured laugh, and tells them that he has
got II constitution like horse, and TINT
nothing can hurt him. and he asks them to
take drink. Some day he gets the jim
jams, and all his friends say, 81 told you
30, and they sit up nights with him and
drive away snakes, and just before he dies il
suddenly occurs to him that lie has been try
ing to beat two-forty with three-minute
horse. A man who is poor and wants TO
live on the fat of the land marres pretty
little rich woman, and begins to squandei
her money, and when she tries to persuade
him TO stop it, he gets to treating her like q
dog, gets worse and strikes her, and after
while she gets enough of it and obtains n
divorce, and marries n man who loves her,
and doesn't want her money, and she is
happy, and her former husband becomes a
dead beat and n drunkard and would fain
beg for the refuse that drops from the table
of his former wife, and when he buttons his
summer coat around him on n winters night
and walks around block for wind pud-
ding, and looks into the windows and sees
the light of the fire from the CRATE of his
former wife's stting-room, it occurs to him
that if he had not attempted to beat two.
forty with II three-minute horse, he could
have been in there toasting his slippers and
drinking cider, and looking into pair OF
eyes that would have always looked theii
love for him, if he had been contepted with
a three-miDute gait but which eyes will
never look upon him again except in pity
o, there are thousands of people who make
mistake in trying to beat two-forty with 6
three-minute horse. - Perks Sun.