The Portland daily press., 1883-01-24


was invited to a big dinner party, and partook,
doubtless, of gumbo, terrapin, prairie chicken,
plapked shad, cat fish, hominy. pumpkin pies,
tomato salad, and other indigenous delicacies."
Saturday Review.
Horsford's Acid Phosphate
gives strength where there has been e&hsus-
tion and vigor in place of impaired vitality.
Dean Stanley Is said to have had great love
for children, though he was childless. As the
Dean might at any time have drawn on an tr-
phan asylum for fifteen or twenty darling little
prattlers, and as he never did SO, it is fair to
infer that the Dean was gentleman of re-
markaDle self-coDtrol, and that he never al
lowed his affections to run away with him.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The great sale of Swedish Remedies is aston
ishing, and for enriching the blood, creating
an appetite, or strengthening the whole system
nothing can surpass these remedies.
Oscar Wilde lost his trunk while on lectur-
ing tour last fall, and his legs we're in state
of perturbation painful to see. Ere, AIRY!
'Arryl 'Ere's jolly go, 1 say! ave the
brawses for the luggage, and the blooming
conductor as gone AMI shunted the luggage
van off on another line, don't you know
Biawst the bloody luck of it; / cawn't see any
think in this bowling country but trouble, you
know. Burlington Hawkeye.
Group, Diphtheria and Whooping Cough
get prompt relief and rapid cure by the use of
Kurakoff, the wonderful Pine remedy.
The modern Esep: A father had four sons
who were very naughty, and often gave the
neighbors cause for serious dissatisfaction
For this reason he summoned them in bis pres
ence and showed them four twfgs OF hazel
"Take notice, my sons, that If should strike
you with one of these twigs alone, you wou Id
feel little; whereas. if should bind them all
together, it would cause you great PAIN
And hereupon he tied them together and gave
the boys sound thrashing .-Fiiegende Bat-
ter.
Kurakof, the lung healer, and great Pine
remedy contains neither opiates nor narcotics.
Free samples to actual sufferers Guppy ,Kins-
man & Alden, Portland, Me.
Charles Dickens had a very good story about
the early days of renowned mourning es-
adjustment. He went there one day about
some mourning, and was ushered into room
where sat a shopman with an attendant In woe
stricken habiliments, who groaned out, ga
father. mother, perhaps wife" "On, no."
said Dickens, "only distant relative" 's0h,
SIR" said the funereal one, "you have made
mis- axe; this is the chamber of agoniziug woe.
John, toll the bell and show the gentleman in
TO the light affection Department. pie
Bar.
If you don't want to freeze when it's cold;
suffer from excessive perspiration when it's
warm use Browns Iron Bitters
Considerate Father-sYou should eat gra-
ham breat, my sod: it makes bone.' Respon-
sive youth, 'H'm, I'm bout all bones now
Why do you suffer " tn Back Ache, Pain in
the Chest, Rheumatism, or lameness anywhere
when Hop Plaster will surely give you relief.
Druggists sell them, % cents.
The King of Bumah has four queens. and
General Schenck considers him on the road TO
prosperity Pest.
Ayers Sarsaparilla is the most potent blood
purifier, and fountain of health and strength.
promptly removed by this unequaled altera-
tive.
III have no more of your lp!' is what the
discarded lover remarked to his angry sweet
heart.
Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar cures
coughs. bronchitis and consumption
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in one minute.
Herr Professors first and last appearance at
Mrs. Ponsonby de Tomkyns's Herr Professor
with sudden impulse to ducal amateur, whom
/ he was accompanying in "Deeper and deeper
stilf)-"Jake hants my talentfnl yoong vrent
hat neffer before heart Eat nople recidadeef
zung so veil to eggschbress ze yorrts!'' Dncal
amateur (who occasionally sings little cut of
tune) A-you-a-f atter me. I fear,l', Herr
Professor Acb, mol w yous commenced it
more or less in B, you gondinued ii somewhere
about B-vlat, and you vinlsht it almost in Al.
and all ze While vass blavingi 20 aggombani-
ment in CT Now, Eat is fTeeper and teeper
schuill,' and no mischdakeI Jake hants!y The
witty professor is very proud of his s'liddle pid
of yun," and is Away Wondering w Eat
scheet Mrs. Bunsenpv te Dombgyns has gom-
bleedlv troDDed himf''-Punch III w