The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-07-28
TERMs or SUBSCRIPTION:
A Railroad Lunch.

-
contemplating his wife from the oppo
site seat with pleasant smile. Now
my dear, suppose we take look ut the
lunch of which we had such remarkable
accounts. If there is anything nice wher
a man is travelling, it is a home made
lunch. Develop the viands and let JOY
be unconfned!' and Mr.. SpoopendykC
laughed outright in anticipation of the
gustatory delights in store for him.
"All right" giggled Mrs. Spoopen
dyke, opening the basket with trem
bling hands Now you hold that, and
don't you open anything until get ii
all out" and Mrs. Spoopendyke handed
him long roll of something done up
in 4 coarse brown paper,
Glow much more of this is there to
get outp' demanded Mr., Spoopendyke,
shifting at the paper and detecting DO.
logna sausage, thing he detested.
What is this, anyway IA club to keep
the rest of the lunch in orderp Is this
thing the police force of this lunchP
Fetch forth theIlaw abiding elements il
you've got any! never mind the eXecu
tive OF this feast produce the laboring
faction, the tax-paying end of the bust.
ness!n ont ,'s
Here's some cheese" murmured
Mrs. Spoopendyke, "and pie and some
smoked beef and herring, and"
Haven't we some salt somewherep"
Missed Mr.. ,Spoopendyke, planting the
bologna on end in the center of the pie.
"How'm / to quench my thirst after
eating all this, truck, unless ! have saltp
Where's the mustard that goes with
these merciosp" and Mr., Spoopendyke
dove into the package of beef and scat
tered the contents over his wife's lap.
I'll betthe bologna can whip the cheese
in four rounds!N he yelled, hauling the
offending sausage out of the pie and iab-
bling it through the cheese. Murray!
Now, Wen sponge him Off with the her.
ring for the next roundn' and Mr..
Spoopendyke seized fish by the tail
and slammed IT into the basket.
DON'T pleaded Mrs. Spoopendyke,
looking helplessly on II like those
things if you don't"
Cant We let the lunch have a little
fun?" squealed Mr., Spoopcndyke, ham,
mering at the cheese with the sausage.
"Of course you like these things!
They're right in your lnc All YOU
want is strike and a step ladder to be
salt mine Where's my luncho Bring
on the delicacies calculated to supply
the waste tissues of Spoopendykem and
the worthy gentleman drove the sau-
sage clear through the pie and impaled
the herring on the other end.
Here a Charlotte, and L." COM
mepced Mrs, Spoopcndyke.
Hand me the bluShing CharlotteW
howled Mr.. Spoopendyke, who had fixed
his mind on cold chicken, and saw no
realization of his anticpations. Show
me the Charlotte just budding into
womanhood, and she shall have the pie!
Give me-hey! What's that?"
"This is a can of beanslN exclaimed
Mrs Spoopendykc, Frightening little.
"You know you always liked beans"
Lets have emf growled Mr.
Spoopendyke, reaching for them. What
have you got to open em WITH"
I'm afraid | left the can opener
home, whispered Mrs. Spoopendyke,
rummagng through the basket
"How dyepropose to open 'em thenPn
roared Mr.. Spoopcndyke, setting his
teeth and breathing hard. "Show me
the spring that busts this cover off!
Guide me to the combination of this
stem-winding can of beans! Maybe
this'll do .itH and Mr. Spoopendyke
again grabbed the sausage and wentfor
The, can. "Howm | getting onp" he
Yelled as the bologna flew in all direc-
tons. Think You begin to smell those
beans any more plainly than you didP
Wa-h-hp' he shrieked as a huge chunk
OF the pork broke off short and landed
In his ear This dod gasted hoe don't
know who he's fooling with! Let me
introduce you to Spoopendyke!' and he
ground the sausage flat against the can
and dropped the debris on the floor.
81 don't know what we're poinp 10
dor murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke in
great distress.
Now watch the triumph of mind oy-
er beans!' howled Mr.. Spoopendyke,
opening the window and placing the
can on the sill, "The reward OF gent
u.s." he roared, as he brought the win
dow down on the can,
Mrs, Spoopendyke lodged just in
time, and her unfortunate spouse caught
the bean part of the feast fairly in
front, and was covered from his eye
brows to his ankle.
That's what ye wantedpn he gasped,
as the full extent Of the calamity dawn
ed on him. That's what ye been try
ing to get me to doP bod CAST the
measly beansN' and Mr.. Spoopendyke
made for the sm@ing-car and was seen
no more till dark.
III don't care" soliloquized Mrs.
Spoopendyke, assuring herself that the
Charlotte had not been injured ale
might have waited n moment, and he
would have had some cold chicken.
But OF course, II he has made lunch
on beans, he won't care for ANYTHING
else, And with this consolatory re-.
lection Mrs. Spoopendyke ate the
chicken aud Charlotte In alternate bites,
and composed herself for comfortable
| N .sgl, Iy....l