Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1883-12-13
ODDS AND ENDS.

John Bright, NJ. p, has not touched spirits
in 10 years. Now he could talk to the gov,
ernor of South Carolina with some degree of
propriety.
Nov, tell me candidly, are you guilty ?"
asked lawyer of his client 'Why, do you
| suppose I'd be fool enough to hire you il
was innocent 7"-EH.
A certain New Bedford sea captain owns up
to having brought over 2,000 parrots from
Africa to this country. II that man has a
| conscience he must suffer-
Prof. Bell, the electrician, says that there
are more than 100000 telephones in use in
| the United States, and thst manufacturers
are unable to keep up with their orders,
Unsightly pimples, blotches, black heads,
sunburn, freckles, red skin and nose pass
away unde. the magical influence of Ways
SwiftSure Ointment. At all druggists Soc
| The little dog who thought he was running
to fetch stone to the boy, felt very much
offended and put out when he got the chest
| nut burr right in the roof of his mouth
| Puck.
San Francisco has discovered that one
single war ship belonging to foreign nation
| could lay that city in ashes. Suppose il the
war ship belonged to this country, it couldn't
do q bit OF mishief.-Er.
Mrs. John Raser OF New Centreyille Pa.
| hdb polcSdI hLlCu lluhth llh5ll ut
home about the house and Is quite pet
They're training it though to know that book
agents are not welcome guests.-ET.
The Devils Slide" is the coolest place in
Yellowstone Park. Water freezes there every
night in the year. II the devil would slide
fast enough we should think there would be
friction enough to melt the ioe.-Hdrttond
Post
"Why not be married quietly at home in
stead OF in church ~ said fond parent to
his daughter, who is engaged. 'You know
owe over years pew rent and every mem
Der OF the vestry is sure to be there, rain or
shine"
Whats going on here tonight ~ queried
timid farmer Of the man at the box office.
1.-THE Forty Thieves" WAS the reply. "How
much to get i'll 7" Dollar and Il half"
"Well guess / don't care to see the other
thirty-nine. "-EI.
"a brave man carves out his own for
tune" says some philosopher. He does and
no mistake. But let that same brave man
attempt to carve d turkey and he'll get left
unless he has learned the trade through a
seven years apprenticeship. -LoiceH citizen,
NO." said young Mr.. Naught Cipher, mo,
couldn't get over to my brothers funeral,
| you know, cause hunting friend of mine,
| don't you know, got badly hurt in his heel at
the lest run cross country, you know, and |
had to sit with him. '-Er.
II sec by the papers that the prussian diet
has opened at Berlin" said Mr.. Paryonu to
| his wife at the breakfast table. "ls that sO.''
said Mrs. Parvenu; II suppose it's .he same
| old sausage meat, sauerkraut and the Ter. Of
the horrid stun those Germans eat III.
II there is anything that gets woman
| completely deranged. 1t Is to have her hus-
band come home and inform her of the fact
| that he has met one Of her old schoolmates
on the street, and in reply to her question.
| "What did she have on ?" answer, 81 didn't
| notice. - Puck.
"What does Brown mean,' asked Fender
| son, ''by saying that when / lett the shop fol-
the law spoiled a good cobbler never
| spoiled d good cobber in my life ''Ht
| probably referred TO yourself" replied
Fogg; but guess You were right and ht
| was wrong. "--B0st0H Transcript.
| No matter how strong and brave a man
may be, he will put his pocket book in hi.
inside pucket that no thief may secure it,
On the other hand, no matter now delicate
and weak a young lady may be, she will
boldly hold her pocket book III her hand
| where every one may see 1t, M though tC
challenge the highwayman.-Pa,k.
Twill you have cafe noir or cafe au lait ~
asked the hostess OF Mrs. parvenu the other
evening the hostess "having Just returned
| from Europe" ~ guess" answered Mrs
| Parvenu, YEARLY. Il guess | won't take
neither--them French puddins is so awful
| film, you know. and I've eat now more thar
I'd oughter. ~. Y. NAL.
Elegant and EGiciont.