The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1883-05-19
THE nAD Roy.
lPeck's sun j

the bad boy Of the grocery man, as he |
sat down on the soap box and put his |
wet boots on the stove.
"Well, Yes" said the grocery man
hesitatingly, with feeling that he was
liable to be sold. If you will help me
catch tho villain who hangs up those
disreputable signs in front Of my store,
will. What is it p
~ want you to lick this stamp and
put it on this letter. 1t is to my girl and
l want to fool her, and the boy handed
over the letter and stamp, and while the
grocery man was licking it and putting
it on the boy filled his pockets with
dried peaches out of box
There, that's small job said the
grocery man, as he pressed the stamp on
the letter with his thumb and handed it
back. "BUt how are you going to fool
her :''
That's Just the business" said the
boy, as he held the letter to his nose and
smelled OF the stamp. THAT will make
her tired. You see, when she gets this
and smells the stale tobacco, it will
knock her down, and then she will ask
what ails the stamp, and I'll tell her l
got you to lick it, and then her parents
will stop trading here. Do you know
you smell like glue factory. Gosh, l
can smell you all over the store. Don't
you smell anything that smells spoiled! p
The grocery man thought he did, and
he looked around the stove, and finally
kicked the boys feet off the stove. and
said:
sits your boots burning. Gracious,
open the door! 1t smells like hot box
on a caboose. Whew! And there comes
u couple of my best customers" The
ladies came in and held their handker.
chiefs to their noses, and while they wer,
trading the boy said, as though continu-
ing the conversation:
''Yes, pa says that last oleomargarine
got here is nothing but axle grease.
Why don't you put your axle grease in a
different kind of package? The only
way you can tell axle grease from oleo.
margarine is in spreading it on pan
cakes. Pa says axle grease will spread
but your alleged butter just rolls right
up and acts like lip salve."
At this point the ladies went out of thu
store in disgust, without buying any
thing, and the grocery man took driee
Goldfish by the tail and went up to th'
boy and took him by the neck.
"Golblast you, have notion to xii
you. You have driven away more Gus
tom from this store than your neck il
worth. Now you get and he struc!
the boy across the back with the Goldfish
That's just the way with you all,
said the boy, as he put his sleeve up t
his eyes and pretended to cry, "when
fellow is up in the world there is nothin
too good for him, but when he gets dow
you maui him with Goldfish. Since p
drove me out of the house, and told m
to 60 shirk for my living, haven't ha'
kind word from anybody. My chum'
dog even won't follow me, and when
fellow gets SO low down that dog goe
back on him, there is nothing left fo
him to do but to loaf around grocery Q
sit on a jury, and as I'm too young to 81
on q jury, though l know more tina
some of the beats that lay around tn
court to get on jury. / am going I
drown myself, and my death will be lai
to you. They will 6nd evidences of coz
fish on my clothes and you will be Al
rested for driving me to a suicides grav'
Goodbye, I forgive you," and the bo
started to the door.
"Hold on, there" said the grocer
man, feeling that he and been too harsl
"come back here and have same map
sugar. What did your pa drive ye
away from home for p
"Oh, it was on account Of st. Patrick
day." said the boy, as he bit of half
pound of maple sugar and dried his tear
"You see, pa never sees ma buy ne
silk handkerchief but he wants it. II
other day ma got one Of these oran
colored handkerohiefs, and pa immes