National Republican., 1883-01-27

PITTsBURG, Jan. IL. e. Nv.
AN Englishman named Westfall is missing
in st. Louis. Maybe a st. Louis confederate cav
airy colonel breathed on him.
JOHN 7. RAYMOND announces that he does
not wear jaunty raiment in certain play. Look
sharp and you may detect the pun
ILLINOIS friends of Gov. Cullom, senator
elect, say he is man OF "cxpanslve qualities"
He needs to be, considering whose seat he is to
fill.
COUNTRY debating society is nerving
itself up to wrestle with the question: "When n
woman and mouse meet, which is the most
frightenedY'
| CAREFUL count of the men who have
| confessed, those who are suspected and the luna
tics who have died murmerlng wildly about MUIR
dering somebody, show that the Phoenix park
victims were stabbed by no less than ,13O assas-
sins.
ARKANSAS, which has hitherto Jagged little
in the race for miraculous honors, now easily
beats the record with the story Of a baby with
three tongues, born to Mr.. and Mrs james W,
Blackwell, of Helena, and the worst of 1t is that
the prodigy is girl.
WRITER for the omahe Republican does
this. On his head be 1t:
lie drew 1t slowly from the butter,
And as he waved IL In the air
"Ths was not on the bill ofhairr
A WAsHINeToN letter, in religious
weekly, says that Gen. Sherman goes every night
to the theater, and also that he swears some Ifa
| man didn't swear some who went every night to
the theater he would be very stolid, quietly OBJ.
serves the cynical critic of the Buffalo Express.
A BILL has been introduced in the Connect
icut legislature, proposing to require voters to re-
move their hats when offering their ballots.
wouldn't an amendment be In order requiring
them to take bath, or Mt least wash their hands
before coming to the polls? Itwould diminish the
discomfort of voting in many districts.-Boston
Herald.
PATTI said to a Philadelphia Press reporter:
~ feel quite at home in your city for you
Know II was the scene of my carly successes
Fancy how old must be. sang here 1859 DO
look so very venerable?" The journalist rose 10
the occasion. "1f you were old" he remarked
you would Of course bo venerabl G; but us 1t is l
fancy you must be giving mo a reminiscence of
your mother as your own"
THE safest way to manage mad bull is to
take him by the tail and twist 1t. He is said TO DO
MS docile as lamb under this condition. Tho
only trouble Is his tail is apt to be located on tho
wrong end. Another way to escape the horns Of
his dilemmaship is to watch him closely and
notice which direction he is about to take II he
goes cast the proper thing for you to do is to 20
west; but under no circumstances waste any time
"looking him in the eye"
IT is said that tramps carry chalk not to
mark gate posts, us has been generally supposed,
but to cure the heart burn, form of dyspepsia to
which the tramps irregular meals make him sub
ject. If tramps were satisfied to accept plain
wholesome food, instead of demanding all tho
highly priced delicacios Of the season, they would
find that their digestive organs would OCCASION
them no trouble. The tendency of this country
toward luxury is alarming
MR.. GEORGE ALFRED TowNsEND, known
as "Gath" since he adopted that signature in this
city in 1868, is to deliver his lecture called
"Thomas tho Doubter" at willard hail. Monday
. Feb. 16 1t has been delivered many times in the
west this winter, and Is said to be remarkable
picture of the American presidents in n NUTSHELL
studied in their haunts and homes by this rapid
traveller and acute observer and very epigram-
matte and vivifying writer of English, who Is also
n clear, frank public speaker. The lecture here
, is by invitation.
i The japanese language has no good equiva-
lent for hell, and the transatos Of the new testa
ment are perplexod. One of them discusses the
difficulty in an article: "Is jikogu hell?" Jikogu
consists of " Q) eight immense hot hells ranging
| ono beneath the other in tiers. Each of these
hes has sixteen additional hels outside It's gates
= like so many antechambers, so that there are In
| oil one hundred and thirty-slx hot hols. (2)
There eight large cold hels, and (3) there arc
, the same number of hells of utter darkness"
Tho translator concludes that kogu will stand for
, hell.
"OH," said Daisy to her mamma, al was in
/, the parlor last night, behind the sofa when the
s preacher came in to see sister Kate and they did
set up too close for anything an the the preacher
= said, Katie, dear, luv you, and Kate said, CO.
oo, an then the preacher kissed her right smack
Q in the mout, an said, Dear Katie how good the
l. Lord is to poor sinners, an Katie said, co. oo
Il 0aN..-- .
n You wicked child, you wicked child what die
a you do2" "W'y, mamma, felt so good, burled
rightOut Let us pray an you ought to have
. seen 'em jump"
a IsHAM G. HARRIS, just elected to the senate
d from Tennessee, was born near Tullahomo where,
IS in the eloquent language Of the Nashville Aheri.
can: No sprngtime seems over to pass that way.
Dead trees stand In ghostly array where the fresh
new verdure of budding time should abound No
modest violets hiding ferns fringe the roadside
s No vines OF any kind Chamber up the naked sides
h of the old house. No brook or moss-covered
spring house is seen The yard, between the house
If and the road, contains none Of the customary
y homely evidences of feminine love for flowers.
i The morning glory, the hollyhook, and the old red
N and yellow honeysuckles clinging to the garden
% cross of wood, are absent. The scene Is one OF
o desolation, complete and irredeemable." Itisnot
J. surprising, then, that young Isham's ambition was
n fired and that no lit out" into the world deter
1t mined to be somebody
Even such n tragedy as the Newhall house
- fire in Milwaukee has its amusing episodes. A
! Chicago gentleman who was stopping at that
u hotel on the fatal night was aroused by the smell
Is of smoke and the cracking of flames, and liter.
Q ally barely escaped, He just saved his life, Ho
4 was taken to another hotel From there wishing
alike TO be clothed and to let his wife know of his
ID safety he telegTaphed TO his home; "Was at tho
Newhall house, Am now at tho - hotel.
Pack full suit for me in trunk and come on az
once" The cheerful wife, who does not read the
If papers, perceived ut that there ball in
"a the near future. Accordingly she packed his full
dress suit carefully in the trunk and took pains TO
AZ lay in Il also her own best dress, and with these
she started on her happy trip, II was very
thoughtful Of him to mention, too that he had
changed hoelsI and In this state OF mind she
reached the dreadful scene Of the fire. II Is un.
h necessary TO say that the notion of the ball was
10 speedily abandoned, but the uuluoky husband
able to get out Of bed aud Tor the rest Of the
day was the best dressed man In Milwaukee.