The Copiah signal. (Hazlehurst, Miss.) 1882-1883, 1883-09-14
aoIAND ASD DIANA.

A Wit among the students Of the
Rochester Theological Seminary has con.
.rivod tho following lovo tale, the chief
interest OF which will DO found
70 lilo In tho assemblage Of words
liable to DO mispronounced. Worces-
ter's Dictionary is the standard.
tho pronunciation first given In
that volume being always tho ono tc
decide. Let our readers try this puzzle
IN orthoepy
..D6lani and Diana were lovers. Diam
"tas ephemeral but COMEDY, hypochond.
rianal but not lugubrious, didactic but
not dishonest, nor given to ribald o,
truculOnt grimaccs. Her pedal extremi'
ties wero perhaps tridc TOO large for q
playing organ pedals successfully, but
her heart was not at all adamantinc, and
hor address WAS pcremptory without be-
ING diHTusc. On tho whole sho might
well become tho inamorata Of ono retired
10 some quiet vicinngo away from tho
sl,,alor and clangor, tho dissonance and
contumely, Of great metropolis.
Roland, on the otter hand, was OF
saturnino countenance, ut once splenetic
and oombative in disposition, 30 that
his wassails and orgies were almost mani
acal in their details. He was telegra-
phcr by profession, having received q
diploma from Caius College. but ag.
grandizcd his stipend by dabbling In
philology, orthocpy and zoology during
his leisure hours, 80 that no was accused
Of fetichism and regeneration by his
patrons.
Still his acumcn and prcscienco were
such that only o misogynist would dis
corn that ho was an aspirant for the gal
lows. HE acetic, rather than ascctic.
nature apparently inclined him to visit
a chemical laboratory, well filed with
apparatus, to which ho had access,
whence he often returned with globulos
OF iodine and albumsn on his caoutchouc
shoes, which subjected him to tho risk
OF numerous alterations with his land.
lady, q virago aud pythoncss in one, and
with the servant her, accessory or ally.
Roland had, howevor, become accli.
mated to his place, received everything
with oquability, rcclined upon tho divan
while he contemplated tho elysium whore
Diana dwelt, and addressed donative
distichs TO her in the subsistence Of the
railery.
Thoro was certain diocesan who en-.
deayored to dispossoss Roland in the
affections Of Diana, buthe was enerysted
by bronchitis, larynsitis and diphthcrla,
which on their subsidence left his carotid
artery in an apparently lethargic con-
dition. Ho had sent Diana ring set
with onyx, a chalcodonic variety Of stone,
and once hung placard whoro ho knew
she would SEQ it from her easement, but
she steadily rejected his overturcs, and
ogled him as II no wcre dromeaary.
The diocesan betook himself to absolut-
ory prayers, but continued his digres-
sions and inquiries.
Roland became oognizaut OF his amour
and armed with o withe inveigled him
into kind Of assignation beneath o jas
mine, where he invoighed against this
"Gay Lothario," who defended himself
with falchion until Roland disarmed
him, houshing his palirey withal. After
tho ioust the prebendary abiectly spolo-
gized, albeit in scarcely rcspirable con.
dition, then hastened 10 the pharmacutic's
aeris for copaiba, morphine and quinine,
and was not seen again until the next
Michseimas.
Roland returned on Thanksgiving day,
took an inventory Of his possessions,
which consisted OF largo quantity oi
almond cemout, package Of envelopes,
dish OF anchovy sauce, tame falcon,
book on acoustics. q miniature Of q
mirage, treatise ON tho epizootc, q
stomachcr lined with sarconet, . cere.
mcnt Of sepulture. . cadaysr and
bomb.
The next day the hymeneal ritos
we're performed, and Diana became
thencoforth his faithful cosdjutant and
housewife.