Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-11-17
MUST HAVE HIS rus.
How the Drumnsrs Did Up the La Crosse
Landlord.

How the Drumnsrs Did Up the La Crosse
Landlord.
Some of these men want killing, but
they don't get killed once in thousand
times. OF course some of them are quiet,
sedate, pious.looking fellows, who never
allow themselves to forget their dignity,
but the majority of them are as full of fun
as it is possible for men to be, and when
their days work is done they are on the
lookout for some chance to play joke on
somebody, it don't make much difference
who. Last week there was an immense joke
PLAYED on La Crosse landlord and q drum
mer, which has not got into print yet in the
secular press. There were dozen or more
of the boys at the hotel, some having got
| their business done and were ready to 60
away while others had just come. There
was one who was melancholy. looking
chap. who never smiled. He had a peculiar
looking sample case, about five feet long,
and narrow, and he had it in his room.
Whatever his business was, whether selling
goods to milliners, grocers, or clothing
men, nobody knew or cared. The boys
put up job to make the landlord mad
and tell him that the solemn.looking man
that he was teaching local undertakers
new process of embalming, and carried in
his sample case a body of human being
which had been operated upon by the
embalming process. Two OF the wicked
drummers came down to the office
with their satchels, ready to take the
night train north, apparently mad. They
paid their bills in dissatisfied manner,
and one said to the other, so the landlord
would hear it, that it was the last time he
would ever stop at that house. The land
lord, of course, wanted to know all about
it, and they told him that it was against
their principles to kick on anything, but
when traveller for coffin house, carrying
an embalmed corpse In his sample case, &C.
cupied the next room to them and brought
in local undertakers to examine 1t, and
they laid it out on the floor and rolled it
around, and discussed the business of en-
balming, and stood it up in the corner and
let it fall down, to show that it was petri-
fed, it was all they wanted to know of
such house. One of them said he passed
the room and the door was open, the night
before, and the body was standing up lean
ing against the washstand, with SLOUGH
hat on and a cigar in its mouth, and beer
glass in one hand. He said it made him
shudder to think of it. The train was
ready to 90, and the two drummers went
out, very mad, and took the train. The
landlord was mad. He said he would put
stop to such foolishness, and fire the
coffin drummer out of the house. So he
called two or three other drummers,
who were in the joke, and told them
about it. Each said he had noticed
peculiar odor, and peculiar sounds
coming from that room. The landlord
took the drummers and went up to
the room, and there was a peculiar odor.
1t might have come from some cheese that
the drummers had thrown over the tran
som, however. The landlord opened the
door with pass. key, and as the foul smell
saluted his nostrils he turned pale and said,
"Great heavens, boys, it is true. How do
we know but it is a case Of body. Snatch
ing" The long box was lying on the floor,
and no one had the hardihood to touch it.
1t was decided to send for policeman,
which was done, and the officer said the
best way was to lay for the owner of the
COX, and nab him when he came in, SO they
hid themselves behind the bed and in the
closet, and in half an hour the solemn.
looking man came in, lighted the gas and
began singing in an uudertone, Sister,
thou art mild and lovely" That settled
it, and the policeman and the hotel man
stepped out from behind the bed and &C
cused the solemn man of having a corpse
concealed in the box, while the other
drummers were in the closet holding their
sides. The policeman placed the solemn
man under arrest, and demanded the key
to the box, which was produced. While
the policeman was fitting the key in the
lock, the landlord was giving the solemn
man lecture about running the reputation
of his house. He said already several Of
his best customers had left, owing to that
enbalmed corpse, and the rest would leave
If the stencil was not removed before morn
ing. By this time the solemn man was
was almost ready to laugh, but as the
policeman had got the box unlocked he
concluded not to laugh until the cover was
removed. The policeman removed his hat
reverently, which act was initiated by the
landlord and the other drummers, who had
come out of the closet, and all were I'M
covered except the solemn man and the
| corpse. The policeman raised the cover,
and fell back in horror. There was a full
stock of samples of shelf hardware, in
Guiding everything from set OF ivory
handled knives to dozsn inch screws, and
| from a small grindstone to paper of tacks.
| The first to recover frcm the shock were
the drummers who were in the scheme, and
they laughed, and then the two drummers
who took the train, but who remained IN
town, they came in and broke out, and
| then the solemn man, VINO owned the box,
and the policeman, who was on his knees
beside it, they laughed. The face of the
landlord was a study. He tried to laugh,
butcouldn't. Helooked around atthe drum
mers who had played it on him, reached
around to his pistol pocket, and finally
said, "Boys, there is plenty of good cham.
payne downs stairs for all of you, if this
story never gets out" And they went
downstairs and embalmed themselves in
wine, but somehow the story got out
through conductor. Anybody who
thinks travelling men forget to have fun on
the road is mistaken. - Peck's Sun.