Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-01-03

Preparing for New Years.
From the Brooklyn Eagle
my dear" said Mrs. Spoopendyke, backing
away from her refreshment table and regarding
the effect with her head very much on one side;
my dear. what are you going to wear when you
make calls on Monday?"
"ClOthes, suppose" returned Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke looking up from his paper. "Why. has
the fashion changed recently about wearing
clothes?" and Mr. SpOopendyke regarded his
wife with an anxious look of inquiry.
"But you should wear your swaliowtail coat,
by all MEANS" continued Mrs. Spoopendyke.
'All the gentlemen wear swallowtail coats on
New Years dav now
"Well. If you think you are going to strap me
up In q two tined coat and start me around this
town looking like the head waiter Of dollar
and-a-half summer resort, you're just as badly
left as q one armed man at q church supper! I
may be dOd gasted ass enough to hop around to
the various old hen rOosts, wishingthe contents
happy New Year but when you melt me into
clOthespin jacket it'll be when reason no
longer holds her seat in this dod gasted brain!"
with which happy application of trite quotation
Mr.. Spoopendyke settled himself back and con-
templated his wife with lofty glance of super
iority.
GOT course if you don't want to-" replied Mrs.
Spoopendyke. soothingly. there won't be any
very great objection raised to your business
suit. Beside. now that l think of it, the moths
got into your dress coat, and 1 don't think it is
fit to be SEEM" and she put a few finishing
touches on her table, and admired it from an
other standpoint.
Lets see it," demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke,
springing from his chair and making for his
closet, closely followed by his wine. Whats
the matter with it? What's the moth got to do
with it? Who put moths in IT." and Mr.. Spoop-
endyke rGmmaged around and fired his cloth
ing in all directions in his vain search for the
particular garment "Where is it?" he howled,
scattering his wardrobe broadcast. Have the
measly moths eaten it all up? Didn't they leave
even button hole? Show me my coat! Bring
out the split in the tails! If there's nothing
else left. give me one last, fond glance at the
arm hOles!" and Mr.. Spoopendyke kicked his
best trousers to the ceiling. following them with
vest, which he supplemented with pair of
boots. ''ShOw me the Great North American
moth fodder! Fetch forth unparalleled diet for
the measly moth! Are we natiOn?" yelled Mr..
Spoopendyke, jamming his thumb in the door
and hopping around the room with the injured
digit in his mouth "DOd CAST the door," he
his leg up under him like school girls.
"Did you hurt yourself, dear?" asked Mrs
Spoopendyke, wringing her hands and lodging
the flying boots and clothing.
docs it look as If I'd hurt the door any!" de-
handed Mr.. SpoOpendyke. jabbing his thumb in
his armpit and bending double with the pain.
docs that door give the impression of having
smashed its thumb anywhere! Why didn't the
moths eat the door? Hoist 'em out and give 'em
feed!' And Mr.. Spoopendyke caught the Of
Tending wicket by the knobs and tugged until
he was out of breath.
"Perhaps it isn't SO bad after all" murmured
Mrs. SpoOpendyke, following him around the
room in fruitless effort to catch up with him.
''Pr'aps it ANTI. rOared Mr.. Spoopendyke,
holding his thumb out at arms length .'Praps
fnr
Oh, go ahead! Don't mind me! Take the
thumb. friend, and do your wOrst!'' And Mr.
Spoopendyke dropped into his chair and
groaned with wrath. Its good thing for
hOwled. "If was like most men the lot on
which this house stands would be good place
to build.' with which solemn prophecy MIR.
Spoopendyke sprang to his feet. kicked the
chair into the obnoxious closet and snOrted
aloud.
II didn't mean your thumb. dear" explained
Mrs. Spoopendyke. 81 was talking about the
coat. May be the coat isn't in such bad con-
dition as supposed it was at first"
"Think they left pocket anywhere:" inquired
half anger. 'Or praps you think that since the
moths eat the coat can wear the moths. Bring
them out! Hold 'em up while l climb into the
sleeves! That's your idea? That's the notion
that's been bOthering you so long,"
81 don't know but what you can wear the
looking up cheerfully, and opening the door of
her closet, where she had carefully hung the
coat after spOnging it that very day. "You
can look at it, anyhow" and she brought it out,
looking as new and fresh as when he bought
it.
''Then there's something you don't know -
he grumbled, cycling his rejuvenated garment
with critical eye. eff all you don't know could
only be dumped in together, what an idiot
asylum 1t would make for some young and
growing territory. Taking you all in all. you
only want an air pump and glass side to be a
dod gasted vacuum. Gimme the coat and Mr..
Spoopendyke grasped his garment, and threw
it over his wife's work basket for safe keeping,
and then went to bed. wrapped in cloud of
growls.
81 don't care, murmured Mrs. spoopendyke;
st was the only way could have got him to
wear the coat, and it's no sure thing that he will
wear 1t now: Anyway, don't think he will
wear his new kid gloves bought him unless his
thumb gets better fast. and if he can't, can
change them for pair that will fit me- and
with this thrifty determination Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke crawled into bed and dreamed all night
of whole regiments OF callers, in swallow tails,
with sore thumbs for hats and closet doors for
walking sticks.