National Republican., 1883-03-06

Total 100000
Ofcoursc there are several classes ofmashcrs,
separated by degrees of caste and the selcc-
ton of language, but ridiculousy alike in the
matter of intellect.
Pennsylvania avenue on clear afternoon
is the masher's paradise He waudcrs gently
along, Immediately attired, if he knows Il
contiding tailor, ogling ladies into bushes
and ilirts into giggles. The chief masher in
the point of graceful elegance is the legation
masher lie is indigenous to Washington
and the capitals of other nations lie OcCu-
pies the same position toward other Washers
that Ten Brock does to hill horse
His attire is perfection; his NOUS
tachc, waXed to nicely, sticks
out aristOCratically equi-distant on either side
of his nose his beaver is tilted at the precise
angle, and his tOW ensemble is rs immense as
grain elevator or an Ohio river food. His
walk Is the perfection Of idyllic grace, and
the manner in which he beams tender gances
from his expressive eyes would do credit to
the most fascinating odalisquc in the sultan's
harcfn. While the society girls arc the ia-
vorite victims of his stare, he has u share of
ogle for the palmer classes of women, and
goes into ccstasics over an ugly baby if
the nurse who happens to bo pushing
the carriage is in any way good looking,
But the girls with sCalskm ulstcrs and au-
Iicuar bliuIcrs are tho ones upon whom he
enchanting smiles. Generally ho follows u
pretty girl home, and occasionally the male
relatives of the pretty girl play football with
him, so 1t has become customary now for II
diplomatic mashcr to wear pillow where his
panties are the widest. The avenue would
bea wilderness if these lovely young men
Joined an exodus across the pond.
The next masher in point Of importance is
tho society young man, whose father carried
bricks aud mortar up a torty-foOt ladder for
thirty years in order that his son might wear
bobtail coats and ballet trousers. Ilc en-.
deayors to emulate the legation mashcr, but
his iaYOrito COyeys are the village cart girls.
lilo is mostly scarf pin and feet and his
pimply face reminds one of a highly COlOrCd
astronomical map of the heavens. lie usually
travels in puirs-himsolf and his pug-and
squandGrs bcuignaut beams with reckless
generosity. He Is sure that the second class
girls are all in love with him because of the
finer social ether which he brcathcs, and ho
lives in the conscious pride that thcre are
hOrdeS Of females who could subsist ON one OF
his smiles for Il week. lie has siclily over
thc-tence-and-uut expression that denotes dis
sipatiug dallaucc with cigarettes and sarspa-
Yilla, aud his conversation with one of the
mashed Is about as follows: "Aw, YOU deah,
sweet crCchaw, dOnchah know you're awiully
nice, Purticst hair over saw in me life, by
JOyC, and CyCs-huYingS your eyes are YCri-
est jeWlcs, Aw, no, no Aatiy, | sure yer"
The society mnshcr, in iuct, is IN irresistible
dandy with an upper case ID,
The department clerk mashorB cannot be
told from the society m0shcr save by the iul;
on his fingers and a ponchant for shop girls
lie is ON hand ut all the socabes and church
fairs with smile so ecstatically sarcharinJ
that IL gives one an impression it has beer
kept over summer in gum drop factory
He also UrumCnadCS the avenue every even
ing, and conldcntially informs any one whc
win wall, with him Of hisuumcrOus conqucsts
lie has them in nearly every square, lie vii
point mystcriously to Il store and softly say
"Smiled at lovely gyurl in there yesterday, an,
doggone if didn' cripple her first time, Wen
in aud bSaght Accent pair Of kids, and sh