Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-08-08

ideas. A man can't help wishing to
keen q little ahead of the women, but
since the women all wish the same the
ordinary masculine need not worry
| Chi, Inter Ocean.
A Missouri farmer recently ploughed
up little black jug, out of which,
when uncorked, ran forty-seven snakes
| of different species, varying IN length
| from four TO seven inches. The Nor
ristown Herald does not consider this
incident remarkable, because little
black Jug has frequently produced
about that number of snakes, though
many of them were as large as boa con-
strictors, if the terrified individual who
wrestled with them can be credited.
"YoU are charged with vagrancy.
You never do anything but beg, " said
our Austin justice to a shabby-looBing
prisoner. Tramp: "You do me great
injustice, your honor. l steal every
chance I get, and 1 gamble, too, occa-
sionally." Judge: ST beg your pardon.
had no idea you were go respectable.
| hope you will excuse me. | am very
sorry" Tramp: "Well, you needn't
carry the thing too far, Judge. l don't
claim TO bea member of the Legislature. ="
-Teras SJtialgS.
ONE night Sandy told her that he
''liket" her ''awfui vice." She simply
responded "dittO." Sandy was
not very sure what that meant, so the
next day while at work, he said: Gath
er can you tell me what ditto Is p
sou, ay, Sandy" replied the father,
'dae We sac that cabbage?" eyes. !"
"And dae We sac that ither ane, that it's
list the same" eyes" "Weel, that's
ditto" "Gracious goodnessI' exclaim-
Sandy, "did she ca me cabbage-head !?
| I'll ma wed her.
The manner in which Barnum first
introduced Tom Thumb was ingenious.
The Snowman had large pocket made
| in his coat, and at q certain hour every
day Tom would get into it. Then Bar
mum would enter the museum halls and
mingle with the crowd. People would
press about him soon and ask him
where Tom Thumb was. Barnum would
pretend to be astonished and inquire:
''Why-isn't he here?" Then he would
call out: General! general where are
you'll" Tom would instantly pop his
head out of the pocket and shout:
Il
WHEN a Reno New man wants a
night OF peace and quiet, says a CORE
spondent, he tells his wife that he is
going down town, and then goes and
crawls under the bed. When she has
got thoroughly mad at him for staying
out she prepares to retire quite resolved
to give him a hurrah of a lecture when
he returns. Of course, being alone in
the house, she looks under the bed, sees
a man, gives a yell, and fees from the
house to her mothers, two blocks away.
In the morning she returns and her
husband tells of struggle with bur-
glar and is implicitly believed.
"Do you spell dog with capital
DIP" asked old Mr.. Touzleton, looking
up from his desk. elf it's your dog,
The big black and white one that was
loose last night, yes, replied the junior
bookkeeper, who was standing up, writ
ing at a desk six inches toohigh for him,
"spell it with the biggest D in the
alphabet" And he went on with his
work, while the old man sat and looked
at him over his baleful spectacles for
nearly ten minutes, wondering if he
knew what the young man meant, and
Evelyn about 1t when he got home
Bar. RGlp};.
He was on his knees before her, and
with voice tremulous with passion he
said: Nothing shall separate us ever
more, my darling! For your sake I will
beard the lion III his den-I will face
death on the battlefield! [ will skim
the seas! 1 will endure all hardships,
alsufering, all miseryp Hepaused and
looked eagerly at her, with his whole soul
quivering in his eyes. "WiIl you do all
this for the sake of my love?" said she,
gazing earnestly at him. eyes, yes-a
thousand times yesp "And if we get
married (here she blushed slightly will
you get up first and light the fre?"
With shrek of despair he fed.