The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1883-10-06
HE WAS NO SLOUGH.
but the Machinery Didn,t Work
Nhen He Tried TO Demonstrate
the Fact

( When He Tried 10 Demonstrate
7 the Fact.
The other day Bill Higgonson, WE'LL
known character of the White Springs
neighborhood, ecame to this city in com
pany with several young ladies, to one of
whom he was engaged to be married. Bill
has always thirsted for notoriety. He
wants to be known by the leading men in
town, and to show the people of his COM
munity that, although born in obscurity
and reared on the farm, he can address
prominent men ina familiar way. While
the young ladies were at the hotel Bill
went into wholesale store, and approach
ing man who sat in the office, said:
"Cap'n, you can do me big favor, if
you will. I've get lot of gals in town
with me, an | wanter show 'em that
amt no slouch. | want 'em to 90 home
an say that Bill--that's me--come to town
an was knoWed by the big bugs. Now,
want to make this agreement with YOU.
LII go away, an putty soon I'll come
aroun' with the gals an come in here,
slap you on the shoulder an say, "Old
chap, how do you hold out? Then you
slap me, an say, 'Why, Bill, old boy, Pm
glad to see you.' That will be blowed all
over my country, an will be wuth money
an character to me, lenme tell you.''
The gentleman said that he did not OBJ
ject to helpinga young fellow along, and
that the aspiring William might come in
and slap him, when he would go through
his part of the programme.
Bill, highly delighted with the arrange
ment, went to the hotel and told the girls
that he wanted them to walk with him.
AS they walked along toward the store,
Bill said:
''Now Pm going to show you Liza,
that you amt going to marry no slouch.
LII show you that your own Bill is looked
up to an liked in this town, an he is on
terms with the best of 'em.''
The girl laughed self-complacently. and
declared that it was nice to marry a man
that want stranger an slouch."
When they reached the store Bill con-
Quoted the ladies to the Office, where man
sat looking over accounts, he was not the
man with whom the arrangements had
been made, but Bill did not recognize the
difference. Advancing, he struck the man
pretty heavy slap, and exclaimed:
"Hello, old chap, how are you holdin'
out 90
The gentleman sprang to mis- feet and
glared at William, but William, without
embarrassment, punched him among the ribs
and said cold chap, how are you holdin,
out?"
"isook out, here! What do you mean?''
mo foolin, old boy. Don't you re-
member the agreement?o he added in an
undertone. cts me; don't you recognize
the man what seed you jes' now ?" and
then, as he fancied he saw change Of
conntenance, he jolted the gentleman
among the truneate ribs and exclaimed,
GLOW are you holdin' out?"
The gentleman ''hauled off, with an ink
bottle and knocked Bill down. The girl
screamed and ran away, and Bill, as soon
as he was able to regain his feet, skulked
away. When he reached the hotel with
his face all besmeared with ink, his be-
trothed ran to him, punched him in the
side and said
Hello, old chap, how are you holdin'
out?'
This settles it with u.s." he said sadly,
regarding TIE girl with look that spoke
of the melancholy yellow leaf. 'sJest at
the time need your sympathizin' the
most, when old frien's go back on me
and knock me down, you jine the enemy.
Go and pay your hotel bill an go home.''
Amt you goin' to pay my biIl:"
Mary a red."
"Would you see me disgraced right in
place Whar there's so many folks?''
'sThat amt my look out Iain't goin'
to pay nary cent fur you
'sThen I'll take all back an I am sorry
that | made fun Of you'
ssNuff said. Come an put your head
on this manly shoulder