davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17
After Dinner Hits,

Jupiter having created the mosquito,
the flea, and all the vile orders OF the
entozoa and the epizoa, paused for a
moment in perplexity. Nov, what
in thunder shall ] make for them to
prey upon?' he asked himself, mus,
ingly. Suddenly thought struck him.
He made man.
Mrs. Rabbit was talking about the
loss Of life at the late flAt-house fire.
II think" said she, "every one ought
to keep rope in his sleeping-room
with which to make his escape in case
the flames cut off the stairway" "And
in what way would you, for instance"
asked Pensill, supposing you were
hemmed in your bedroom by fire,
make use of the roper" "What 81 silly
question: replied Mrs. Rabbit, with q
mild giggle. why, I'd tie one end to
the bedstead and the other around my
waist, and jump out Of the window, of
COURSE"
An incident occurred at the lying in
state of the remains of John Howard
Payne which we'll illustrates the intelli
gent character of the crowd that
thronged the city hall and passe d
through the governors room. There
was nothing anywhere to indicate who
was under the pail over which was
thrown the American flag. A detec-
tive stood on guard at either end.
Sir" said a woman 10 one # the
guardians, after peering curiouslv
around, ''sir, can't / see the remains!'
Madam" exclaimed the amazed DO
hGeman, "the mans been buried these
80 yearsl" We may imagine what a
painful shock this was to her feelings,
who went home madden but a wis er
woman.
"We do not live broadly enough, :"
said Prof. Swing, of Chicago, in his
Sunday sermon. Evidently Mr.. Swing
never tried to learn how to skate on
rollers.
1t is wrong to laugh at the crooked
legs of the Young man in tight trous-
ers, but it is perfectly proper to laugh
at the tight trousers upon the man
with the crooked legs.
Even classic Greece .aboos the Am
erican hog. The Baltimore American
is inclined to believe that, after all,
taking porkers to Greece is like carry
ing Goals to Newcastle.
Ex- Rev. W. II. II. Murray, I'D. B."
the present state Of Am
erican journalism as "the nationalist
ton of the sewing society,"" Mr.. Muir
ray, it will be remembered, is fresh
from she wilds Of Texas.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17

ing tariffor revenue only, do not IN
tend to stand by their principles. I'm.
mean to follow their parties, that will
simplify tn political future greatly
ard IT ought to be known very soon
that there ia to be $40 fight" Ia that
case Mr.. Randall will be the demo.
cratic protectionist Speaker, and both
parties will be at once on the only issra
which is of the least Importance to the
public. We shall have harmony.
1t is to be regretted that an open war
has broken out between United States
Senator Hill, of Colorado, and Secre.
tary of the Interior Teller, of the same
state. Senator Hill has written an Omen
letter to Mr.. Teller, charging him with
a great many political, as well as other
sins. 1t seems that last year the dem
ocrats elected their candidate for gov
ernor in consequence OF republican dis.
agreement, tut the republicans noblv
compensated for that loss by sendino
Tabor to the senate Tor thirty days and
by choosing Thomas n. Bowen for the
long term. Mr.. Hill charges these re-
suits the account of Mr. Teller, and the
latter arraigns the senator as being re-
sponsible for a detection which
may cost the republicans the
loss of the three electoral votes next
year. Mr.. Hill also charges Mr.. Teller
with rendering land-grant decisions in
the interest of corporations, and to the
prejudice of the government and the
people," The official integrity of the
secretary of the interior, who has the
power to make these decisions, is thus
directly and positively challenged. No
graver accusation could be made
against puE lie ntncer, for if it be Ca
pable of proof he ought to be impeach-
ed.
Mr.. Teller's action in the matter of
the leases in tine Yellowstone Park from
the beginning to the end OF that lis
pute, invites suspicion, and will doubt
less become the subject of inquiry ia
congress. He withheld information
from the senate in answer to its original
call, and he defeated the plain inten-
ton of the law Of the last session by
piece of sharp practice that of itself
gives moral force to the charges pre-
ferred by Senator Hill.
Congress will not meet for seven
months, and unless the president re-
O lires Mr.. Teller to make public an
swer to the accusing senator, in way
to relieve the executive of retaining a
venal adviser in the cabinet, the charg-
es will remain suspended until next
winter.
Such charge does not admit of any
triflng, either by Mr.. Hill or by Mr..
Teller. The former is bound in duty to
require an investigation to be made,
and, if he fails in this respect, the latter
is equally bound to demand it,or to rest
complacently under dishonoring i'm
putation Of corrupt conduct in Office.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17
What viii Tax Reformers Do!

There are IN both political parties
numbers of men, and not a few infiu-
entail journals, WAC demand a tariff
for revenue only. Many democratic
)urnals, ike the Louisville Courier
Journal, the Galveston News, the Iowa
Leader; many democratic public men,
like Carlisle, Tucker, Hewitt, Cox,
Springer, Hard, hold to this policy as
sound and necessary. Also, there are
republican journals like the New
York Times aud Evening Post, the
Buffalo Express, Chicago Tribune, and
not few more, which hold to the same
policy, and with them stand q number
of republican public men
What are these people going to do?
10 they give any thought to the fu-
ture? Do they intend to submit on
both sides to have this, the only prom.
inent public question, put aside by the
political leaders on the ground that it
Is inexpedient or dangerous to deal
with ii?
We read q good many able argu-
ments about the folly and iniquity OF
the present protective tariff but we
do not hear publicly any one journal
or man say that if his party shirks
this question he will leave his party.
What are the tax reformers going TO
do? Are they going to deal with this
question as the Maine politicians used
to deal with the liquor law? Are they
in favor OF tax reform but against it's
enactment
We ask this question because it is
one in which the public good is inter-
ested. Suppose the democrats VII n
congress meets nominate in caucus Mr..
Samuel j Randall for speaker, will
the Louisville Courier Journal, the
Galveston News, the lows Leader and
other revenue reform democratic our
nails tell us what they will do in that
cast? VIII they urge the democrats
who agree with them to bolt the caucus
and stand by their opinions; or will
they submit and swallow their opinions
instead of boiling the caucGs?
Ga the other hand there are such
journals AS the New York Times, Even
ing Post, Buffalo Express and Chicago
Tribune. Suppose the republican
party continues to commit itself to
Eigh tariff and against the reform
which these journals 50 ably and con
stantly advocate; what viii they do2
VIII they swallow their opinions and
"train with the procession?'
These are not idle questions. As
matters now look, Mr.. Randall will be
found with smsjority in the democrat
caucus in December, and ifthe caucus
rusS he win become Speaker. That
will commit tbs democratic party to
the present tariff As to the repubh
cans, all their speakers boast Of this
tariff as good enough and not to be
disturbed and the Tribune aad Com
mercial Advertiser, the real organs IF
their -arty, are thoroughgoing pro;eo-
touist journals. If the mon and Jur-
mails opposed 70 protection aud demand.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17
Ne took a class If chamn,jyn

He took glass of champ tigl the
supper room, where its quality was be-
ing freely discussed by the young men
who fingered there, and went back to
pay his parting respects to MS hostess.
There were still plenty of people about,
but chill seemed to have fallen on
them, the dancers were few, and every
body looked bored or disconnected
Mrs. Gray was saying the last words to
a party Of guests who were about tax
ing their departure.
such a pity it should have been Il
failure" he heard one of them whis.
per in tone of sympathy. "And
after all the expense you have gone
tol"
81 am sure, then, it must have been
the fault OF my guests" returned Mrs.
Grey, for | did my part as well as
could. Why. Mr.. Turner, are you 60
ing so soon? wonder if you too, found
my party stupid ono?"
She looked 50 harrassed that Dick
forgot the grudge he owed her and
would gladly have declared her ball
both brilliant and delightful, but the
words he wished to saJ stuck in his
throat-he absolutely could not give
them utterance. An awfHl impulse
was upon him, and to his own secret
horror and dismsy he heard himself
assuring her the painful truth that it
was the most dismal affair he had ever
witnessed in his life. Then overwhelmed
with shame at his own involuntary
rudeness, he turned away and his eyes
fell upon the crimson roses still bloom
ing freshly over the doorway.
What an idiot he must have been
There in plain Eoglish letters were the
three words: palace of Truth" AS
he looked and read the magic flute
pealed forth so Loudly and with so shrill
% triumph in its tone that Dick fairly
jumped and in the violence of MS start
kicked the sleeping Snip, VINO Ieaped
out Of his masters way and azed at
him with repro chful, wondering eyes.
eleven o'clock, as I'm living
man." said Dick, yawning. Three
hours asleep and no ball for me to-
night. Snip, you little villain, why
didn't you awaken mt?'
Snip was silent. He felt the arrant
injustice of this remark and bore it
with the equanimity of stole.
"Wel, said his master, slowly, as he
lit his candle, "since you did not and
as ! have all tho dissipation and all the
candor | need for one night, l think,
little dog, that you and will go peace
fully and gratefully to bed"
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17
aMitness said the Judge. "you must

Witness, said the judge, "you must
answer the ques ion put to you"
"Lan3 o'Goshen judge, hain't | been
dein' III Let the blamed cuss fire away.
I'm all ready"
Then" said the lawyer, don't beat
about the bush any more. You and the
prisoner have been friends2'
"Never, promptly responded the wit
ness.
"What. Wasn't you summoned here
as friend?'
"No, sir, l was summoned here as a
Presbyterian. Nary one of us was ever
friends. He's an old line Baptist, with
out drop of Quaker in him"
"Stand down." yelled the lawyer, in
disgust.
"Hey?'
"Stand down"
Cant do it,-pll sit down or stand
up"
"Sherif, remove the man from the
box Utica Observer.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17
Lawn Games by Electric Light.
Hartford Courant.

A new suggestion is the use Of the
electric light for lighting lawns for lawn
tennis and crcq0 parties, and the
Hartford Electric Light company has
already received two or three applies
tions of this kind. During the summer
season these games are played princi-
pally in the closing hours of the day,
when it becomes cold, but sundown
puts an end to the sport. BY the cleo
tric lights it may be continued as long
as desired and during the hours when
the temperature is most enjoyable.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17
The Delaware Kind of Dream.
From the Milford Chronicle.

Last week DR.. G. w. Marshall lost an
account book which contained check
for $500 and all of this years book
practice. He thoroughly advertised
for it by posters, but could not get no
trace Of it and had made up his mind
that it was gone for good. On Tues.
day night Mrs. VIM. Marshall dreamed
that the book was at certain place in
the house of patient that her son
mad visited on the day the book was
lost. She informed him of her dream
and under the impulse of the moment
a messenger was sent tor the book
Curious as it may appear, the lost
property was found exactly as it was
revealed in the cream.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17
4 Difficult Witness.

ado you know the prisoner welll'
asked the attorney.
Never knew him sick" renlied the
witness.
''No levity," said the lawyer, sternly.
Now, sir, did you ever see the prisoner
at the BARI
"Took many drink with him at the
bar"
"Answer my question, sir" yelled
the lawyer. How long have you known
the prisoner
"From two feet up to five feet ten
inches"
"Will the court make the
81 have, judge" said the witness, an
ticipatipg the lawyer; II have answered
the question. | knowed the prisoner
when he was boy . feet long and a
man 8 feet 10"
Your honor"
'It's fact judge; I'm under oath,
persisted the witness.
The lawyer arose, placed both hands
on the table in front of him, spread his
legs apart, leaned his body over the ia
bic, aud said:
"Wlu you tell tire court Wlat Tou
know about the cast?'
That hain't his name, replied the
witness.
"What amt his name?'
Case
"Who said it was?"
"You did. You wanted 70 know what
I knew about this case. Has name :
Smith"
"Yosr honor, howled the attorney,
plucking his beard cut by the roots,
will you make this man answer
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17

THE election this fall in Pennsylvania
effects but two offices-state treasurer
and auditor general-and is of little
account in its bearings on national
politics. Nevertheless it is to be made
the pretext for an effort at harmony
between the stalwarts and indeper-
dents. By the rules of the republican
organization the convention must
meet on the second Wednesday in July,
and the call must be Issued sixty days
previous The state committee is there
fore engaged upon the general subject
of candidates and party affairs, chief
of which il to administer tsffy to the
independents and beguile thern into
he party. The offer made is to allow
the Independents to name one of the
two candidates, leaving the stalwsrts
to name the other. This overture is
declined, the reiormers saying that the
convention better putup two good men,
without dickering on the state before
hand If they do uot like either or
both the men selected, they will scratch
them at the polls, and that is all there
will be to il. Tnis course, if adhered 10,
will r, fl set credit on the managers Of
the independent movement. The
democratic vote is sufficient to render
harmony in the republican ranks
essential to sucC ess. A split this year
will give the Independents their oppor-
tunity next year, which might be to
turn the stale on. Of the republican
column.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17
An Alabama waif of the Cyclone.
Eufaula Times.

A little boy, just old enough to walk,
was found under some bushes near
Headland, in Henry county, the other
day, and no one knows where he came
from or why he was there. II is surmis-
ed, however, that the little fellow il q
waif OF the late great storm that sw lt
over that section and over FIVE states
It is not unreasonable to suppose that
the child had ride on the wind TO the
spot where he was found uninj1red.
He is now in the hands of good people
and is doing well.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17
An Indian Pleads His Own Case.
Bangor Commercial.

At the recent session of the grand
jury of Washington county at CALAIS,
Levy Mitchell was arrested on 3 charge
of killing deer during close time. Al
though it is not usual to do so, Mitchell
was allowed to address the jury in his
own behalf, His speech showed the
natural eloquepce ofthe red.mau. He
Exhibited treaties from the general gov
eminent and from Massachusetts, giving
the Indian, in consideration of certain
things the rit ht to hunt and fish. There
was not sufficient evidence to find an
indictment against Mitchell and he was
accordingly discharged.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17
GROW ING.
Throughout the growing season
OF rain and sun and dew,

Throughout the growing season
OF rain and sun and dew,
feel growing in me
OF all things good and true.
The green grass on the hillside,
The wheat fields of the land,
The fruitage Of my garden
All grow up and expand.
From morning until evening,
From evening until dawn,
Tire changes follow--iolow-
The growth goes on and on.
So in che growing season
OF summer and of youth,
! feel my soul and spirit
Reach upward alter truth.
As golden rays Of sunlight
Draw verdsre from the sod,
So by bis loving kindness
Ny soul is drawn to God.
And like the heats of noontide,
And like the healthful rains
Have been the fires of sorrow--
Have been my wees and pains.
Has al this growth no purpose
Who dares TO say my soul
Shall end on earth It's mission
And find no higher goal
Whittier than any harvest
That springs up from the sod
Are the truths within me growing
TIE lay before my god.
Err Wppgft
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17
The Mystery of Good and Evil.
From Texas Siftings.

Little Mollie was caught by her
mother stealing apples from the tree
and severely rebuked. Her mother
told her she must not touch those ap-
pies, as she was. going to make preserves
of them.
On the following Sunday little Mol
lies school teac err asked her why God
forbade Adam and Eve to eat Of the
tree in the midst of the garden.
Because nc wanted to make pre-
serves of the apples" was the childish
reply.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17

THE Boston Journal contains an arti-
Gle on the resources of sugar in this
eounry by Henry A. Brown. He says:
Sorghum can be prohtably cultivated
throughout the west, and also in most
of the states, to any desired extent.
Sorghum juice yields an excellent
sugar and superior syrup for consump-
ton; numerous examples of sorghum
sugar crystals, gathered from various
sources, are IN my possession, which
were sixteen to eighteen d. 5. in color
and test from eighty-6ye to ninety
seven per cent. in crystals. A due re-
gar. to the rules of extracting Juice,
and sugar making from cane, and the
employment of vacuum pads and cen
trlfugals in treating sorghum, will pro-
duce sugar OF excellent quality, scarcely
inferior to cane sugar for consumption.
We produced about 10 600, 900 gallons
OF molasses and 1.000000 pounds of
sorghum sugar in 1882. Our capacity
for producing sorghum is simply meas
ureless. TIE per cent. of sugar yield
from sorghum is less than from cane
sugar beet, but it has been demonstra-
ted by numerous growers in different
states that sorghum molasses aud sugar
can be prod dced wi h profit.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17
Like a Prairie Fire at Sea.
From IN, Corpns Christi Critic.

Tae phosphorescent glitter on the
bay last night was something extraor-
dinarily wonderful. o. first sight it
locked like big prairie fire on the OPP
posite side of the bay, but on looking
more closely any one could see that the
silvery light came from the first break
ers out in the bay. We have seen the
phosphorescent glitter on the ocean,
gull End bay, but we never before saw
anything to compare with that seen
last night and the night before.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17
MeOical Value of Asparagus.

A medical correspondent of an Eng
lish journal says that the advantages
are not sufficiently appreciated by
those who suffer with rheumatism and
govt. Slight cases of rheumatism are
cured in few days by feeding nn this
delicious esculent; and more chronic
Asses are much relieved, especially if
he patent avoids ali scids, whether in
cod or beverage
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17

Mrs. WAYNE, he widow of General
Henry @. Wayne, who died recently in
SAvsnnab, writes that her husbands
volume, The Sword Exercise, etc, was
published in 1850 and not after the
war, as had been enormously stated.
The book was quite popular in the old
army, IN which Gen Wayne was held
in high esteem.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17
Miss Marks Makes a Good Guess.
Baltimore American.

Miss Jennie Marks won a saving
machine by making he best guess at
the number of pills in a bottle in a
window. There were % 100 pills in the
bottle and she guessed rs 1893 There
were over 5000 guesses, and the worst
one WAS guess of 100000.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-05-17

Mr.. Talbot, ex-governor of Mass8-
chusetts, is said 90 be nursing his wrath
against Mr.. Butler, governor. to keep it
warm. Recsuly Mr.. Talbot met Mr..
Butler AZ social gathering where
dancing ruld the hour, and, desiring to
keep mp the conversation, remarked:
You don't dance, general ne, :"
was the quick reply, Il make other
people dance"
oliver Optic" Mr. William I. AID
ann Is recovering from pneumonia.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-07-27
SLEEPING INA CAR SEAT.

What this country wants is for some
man to invent small valise that will
hold enough stuff to last man day or
two away from home, and which is so
constructed that he can use it for a pill
low, or to chink up the corners in a car
seat so he can sleep. There is no place
on earth that is so lily constructed for
taking a nap as an ordinary car seat, and
II railroad companies should study for
century to construct something that was
more uncomfortable they would fail
1t is possible they make the car seats SO
on purpose, in order to make man APP
preciate sleeping berth more, when he
gets into one. If a valise was made
right it could be great help to a man
when he is trying to sleep in car seat,
but the way they are now he might as
well try to tuck breaking pillow down
III the corners of the seat to sleep on.
The outside of valise may be of soft
leather, or canvas, and the man will
think he can sleep on it like a child in
its mothers arms, but he Will find his
mistake in ten seconds from the time it
begins to pound his ear. We watched
a man coming up from Chicago one
night, trying to sleep. He had lame
back to start on, and he was mad all
the time. He had his night shirt rolled
up carefully on the inside of his valise,
so it would make the valise soft, and be-
fore he put his head down he patted the
valise, and smiled as he noticed how
soft it was. He laid down and closed
his eyes, and adjusted his lame back to
fit the cushion. and then all was still for
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-07-27
THE SL-fYES PRIDE.

1I1ny curious traits appear in the
character Of the negroes under the in
fuence Of the new conditions of life, or
survive as products of the old order,
not yet outgrown. They have some
times made amusing changes in their
names by way of meeting the require
ments of their new estate of freedom, or
as 9 tribute to the dignity with which
the now feel themselves invested.
Thus Romeo Jones of the old time now
signs his name Rooney o. Jones; Per
icles Smith writes himself down Perry
Ciees Smith; and boy who was always
known as Polly's Jim, having learned to
read the New Testament, is now Mr..
Apollos James. They still feel great
pride in having belonged to rich and
important families when they were
slaves. One might almost as well give
a Southern white man the lie as to ac-
cuse negro of having been the slave
OF low down" or common" white peo-
pie. Never had nothin' to do with pc
white folks" is the universal assevera
ton.
Two young negroes in one of the
larger Southern cities were quarreling
not long ago, and when passion rose to
its highest pitch one of them asserted