National Republican., 1883-10-08
HE WANTED MS PENSION,
And ContrivCd TO Make IL Reasonably
Clear That He was In IA Hurry Tor II.


And Contrivod 10 Nuke IL Reasonably
Clear Tint lie was IN Hurry Tor 1t.
There is an impression prevailing that the
life of government official is q sort of bed of
roses giddy round OF pleasure, so to speak,
with n host of subalterns TO smooth away
every rough place. There arc occasions, how
cvor whom this idea is discovered to be n
lnllacious one. ono instance of this character
occurred in tho pension bureau, whore dis
ciplinc and example havo developed n sort of
clOstored quiet that is refreshing to tho
weary claim agent who climbs out of
tho elevator to go through the motions
of cNpediting tho pension case of
somo mutlatod veteran, who wearily waits
for the slow routine of Official scrutiny. Sew
Cral days ago the messenger who sits nt tho
head of tho stairs was startled into swallow
ing II solo leather sandwich whole by gruff
voice oxclaiming, Whar in h is tho man
wot makes out pension papcrsY
Tho party making the inquiry was clad
in ragged suit of pepper and salt, and
woro wooden leg of that artistic pattern
| known as u stump" that was evidently of
| his own workmanship, and constructed with
| II limited supply Of tools. His shock of coarse
| rcd hair was covered by battered straw hat,
| and from tho corners of his mouth two mo-
| anderinE riuvets of tobacco juice were irri-
eating the roots of his scraggy, unkompt
| beard. There was an abandon about his
movements that indicated he had imbibed
snndry rotations of that nocter known rs
| Georgetown tangle toe" and his breath,
which was strong enough TO do q trapczc act
upon, confirmed this suspicion. In tones that
| came from the sole of his one stogy boot, he
| informed tho startled messenger that he was
| captaiu and owner of the canal boat Dido,
that had recently arrived at George
town with cargo of bones, and that
Il. L. .ts.,Fr Co.,
| two years, and he had wasted money enough
| ON pension agents and had called to expedite it
| himself The trembling messenger directed
| him to the proper official and then stole back
to tho elevator. When the MANNED mariner
had seated himself in front of the official he
spat an English pint of tobacco juice upon the
| lirhtest figure in tho carpet and lifting his
voice TO tho key in which he usually hailed
tho man who drives the mules said: "Why-
ilthcroll don't yer send me my pension pa
pers?p With an air of dignity the official
injured the name of tho claimant, and upon
receiving that information tapped his bell and
sent for the papers in tho case. Ihey were
brought in by prematuroly bald young
man, who stated that the case had just been
passed on by o board of review and would
be ready in the course of day or
or two for the issuing Of q certificate. The
wooden legged veteran had dozed oil, lulled
to rest by the quiet of tho place, and, with
| MS Cnln uTOOpllB upOu plShopi Nuo WING
n sort of trombone solo with his nose. 1t bo-
came necessary to shake him very roughly to
awaken him, and when this was at last ac-
complished he sprang to foot and, bringing
down his timber too with frightful violence
upon the patent feathers of tho bald headed
clerk he roared out in a voice that could
have been heard ut the capitol, Hey lock
Danger, whar yer gwine tharY" Ho re-
allied in moment that he was not on the
deck of his staunch craft, and after clearing
his mouth OF another measure of tobacco
Juice, which inundated the polished boots OF
tho official he said, "Well, whars my pa
persW
He was informed with due politoness oI
the status of his claim and tho prospect OF
! receiving his certificate within forty-eigh'
hours This seemed to render him wild with
rage Shaking q hugo fist about the size anC
color of n canvassed ham under the nose o
S the astonshed official, he yelled out: "Damyer
= | want 'em now. An, if thur not in my han'
f nifty suddinly I'll clean out this caboos
| quickernell."
: There was wild scene of confusion, il
d which the shouts of clorks and messcnger'
tho ringing of dozen electric call bells, an
- the hoarse battle cry of tho veteran, Com
! inter me; / kin lickyer all, damyer," wer
mingled in chaos of sound, and then thor
@ was rush of many feot and the captain o
G tho Dido was borne out and laid upon hi
Y back on the pavement, where ho sprawle
= like huge turtle until hoisted up by
S friendly policeman, who anchored him in tn
t next Georgetown car. The captains clair
J. still fingers before the board of review.