Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-06-27
A RaiIroad Lunch.
IS Travellers Magazine.I

''Now, my dear" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, rubbing his hands gleefulIy and
contemplating his wife from the opposite
seat with a pleasant smile. ''Now, nv
dear, suppose we take q look at the
lunch Of which we have had such re-
maDkable accounts. If there is anything
nice when a man is travelling, it is o
homem made lunch. Develop the viands
and let Joy be upcOnfned" and MIR.
Spoopendyke Laughed outright in an
tlcipatlon of the gustatory delights IN
store for him.
call right gigg ed Mrs. Spcopen-
dyke, opening the basket with trembling
hands. CHOW, you hold that, and don't
you open anything until [ get it all
out, said Mrs. Spoopendyke, handing
him long roll of something done up IN
a coarse brown paper.
'How much more of this is there to
get out 2" demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke.
smiling at the paper and detecting
bologna sausage, thing he detested.
N'What is this, anyway club so keep
the rest Of the lunch in order? Is this
thing the police force of this lunch l.?
Fetch on the law abiding elements, If
you've got any! Never mind the execu-
tive OF this feast, produce the laboring
faction, the tax-paying end OF the bust
nessp
Here's some cheese" murmured
MIS- Spoopendyke, "and a pie and
some smoked beef and some herring,
and"
Haven't we got some saltsomewhere?'
missed Mr.. Spoopendyke, planting the
Bologna on end In the center of the pie
= How M L to quench my thirst after
eating all this truck, unless I have salt
Where's the mustard that goes with
these mercies?" and Mr.. Spoopendyke
dove into the package of beet and scatter
edthe contents over his wife's lap. "I'n
bet the Bologna can whip the cheese in
four rounds !" he yelled, hauling the Of
tending sausage out of the pie and jab-
blng 1t through the cheese. "Hurray !
Now, We'll sponge him off with the her.
ring for the next round ~ and Mr..
Spoopendyke seized fish by the tail
and slammed it into the basket.
Don't" pleaded Mrs. Spoopendyke,
looking helplessly on. "T like those
things, if you don't"
Cant we let the lunch have little
fun ?" squealed Mr. Spoopendyke, ham
mering at the cheese with the sausage.
"Of course you like these things
They're right III your line All you
want is strike and a step. ladder to be
asalt mine Where's my lunch? Bring
on the delIcacies calculated to supply
the waste tissue of SpOopendyke ~ and
the worthy gentleman drove the sausage
clear through the pie and impaled the
herring on the other end.
"Hele's a Charlotte, and a" COM
menced Mrs. Spoopendyke.
, Hand me the blushing Charlotte /! .
howled Mr.. Spoopendyke, who had fix
ed his mind on cold chicken, and saw
{ generalization of his anticlpations. ''ShoW
me the Charlotte just budding into
womanhood, and she shall have the pie
Give me-heyl What's that ?"
"This is II can of beans !" exclaimed
Mrs. Spoopendyke, frightening little.
: ''You know you always liked beans. ,
, 'Let's have 'em!" growled Mr.. Spoop
endyke, reaching for them. ''What
have you got to open 'em with?"
I'm afraid | left the can opener
home" whispered Mrs, Spoopendyke,
: rummaging through tile basket.
How dye propose to open 'em,
then :? . roared Mr.. Spoopendyke, set
ting his teeth and breathing hard.
: "Show nae the spring that busts this
cover off Guide me to the combination
,, OF this stem winding can of beans
Maybe this'll do it" and Mr.. Spoopen.
dyke again grabbed the sausage and
went for the can. How'm l getting
on? he yelled, as the bologna flew in
all directions. ''Think you begin tc
: smell those beans any more plainly thar
you did? Wa-h-h!" he shrieked, as
huge chunk Of the pork broke off short
and landed III his ear. '"This dot CAST
ell hog don't know who he's fooline
with! Let me introduce you to Spoop
endyke! " and he ground the sausage
t1at against the can and dropped the
debris on the floor.
=" don't know what we're going to
do!' murmured Mrs Spoopendyke in
great distress.
CHOW watch the triumph of mind over
beansw howIed Mr.. Spoopendyke, open
ing the window and placing the can on
the sill. 'The reward of geniusr he
roared, as he brought the window down
on the can.
Mrs. Spoopendyke lodged Just in
time, and her unfortunate spouse caught
u.
and was covered from his eyebrows to
his ankles.
"That what ye wanted?" he gasped,
as the full extent of the calamity dawned
upon him. ''That what We been trying
to get me to do? bod CAST the measly
beans!' and Mr.. Spoopendyke made
for the smoking car, and was seen no
more till dark.
81 don't care" soliloquized Mrs.
Spoopendyke, assuring herself that the
Charlotte had not been injured. "He
might have waited moment, and he
would have had some cold chicken. But,
OF course, if be has made a lunch on
beans, he won't care for anything else. y
Mrs. Spoopendyke ate the chicken and
Charlotte in alternate bites, and
composed herself for comfortable nap.
CHARLES GOUNoD, now about sixty
five years old, is a man of full medium