Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-12-28
sQUIBS.

/ eNStNS-
Though an aeronaut may not make
his ascents for wages, hr certainly goes
up for higher.
How much weight does a mer-
chants lad" earryl Why, announce,
of course
The man whc will walk four miles
for drink of whiskey invariably al
lows his wife to cut the wood
A married woman can write better
poetry than q single one, because a
poet is born not maid.
These new-fashioned neck-ties can
be laundried without taking them
apart Thus we may have the wash
ing of the tied right in his house.
Guilty or not guilty2" asked .
Dutch justice of prisoner. Not
guilty. Den what do you want
herel Go about your pizness.
A German paper offers Limbur-
ger cheese to each new subscriber. 1t
could hold out no stronger induce
ment, certainly.
She cal look her husband square in
the eye when he tells her some cock
and-bull story about seing detained
at the office, without betraying in the
least that she knows him to be clos
sal liar.
In Anthony Comstock's Traps for
the Young" no mention, unaccount-
ably, is made of old maids and Christ
mas Sunday school festivals.
Young Donald Cameron, son of the
Senator, has been placed at school in
Geneva, where there are several Amer
lean boys who have distinguished pa
pas.
The largest donations for educational
purposes ever made in Canada was
that recently made by Mr. Gooder-
man, of Toronto-S1, 100000 for
Methodist university.
A grand-neice of Kosciusko is en-
ployed in one of the government de-
partments at Washington. Ex-Gov
ernor Curtin, who is interested i'll
her welfare, secured her the appoint
ment
According to Harper's Bazar, the
golden girdle that was so mysterious
ly presented to Nilsson on the open
ing night of the Metropolitan Opera
House, New York, was the gif! of
Lord Chief Justice Coleridge.
A London cablegram says: 1T is
currently reported here that Miss Mary
Anderson, the American actress, is
engaged to be married to the Duke of
Portland. There is good authority
for the statement
The man who can thoroughly enjoy
himself at fashionable reception af-
ter discovering the bow of his white
tie is under his left ear, is superior to
the pomps and vanitiss of this wicked
world.
No, nobody likes liar; but every
body feels kindlier to the liar who
says, How well you are lookingw
than the honest truth-teller who ex-
claims, "Why! how awfully you're
looking!"
When on his death bed Mario the
famous tenor, expressed wish to be
cremated. 1t would be easy, he said,
to convey his remains to Sardinia, but
his nephew, who was summoned to
Rome some days before he died, per-
suaded him to give up the idea.
The New York Life ought to be
naore decent than to slander beautiful
Chicago women. 1t has picture of
Santa Claus discovering an immense
stocking hung up on chimney man
tel, reaching to the floor, and exclaim-
ing with disgust: That's more than /
bargained for.
1t is proposed by some of the friends
and admirers of the late William Cul
len Bryant to erect statue to his
memory IN Central Park, New York.
AS Mr.. Bryant was President of the
Century Club at the time of his death,
the preliminary arrangements for this
tribute have been placed under the
direction of that body.
! Marie Columbier denies that she
was whipped by Sara Bernhard, and
SAYS that Sara never complained
about her book until injudicious
| friends prompted her to do SO. 1t
will be remembered that Marie al
| luded to Sara as Sara Barnum, :"
which the latter translated as mean
ing Jumbo" Hence the unpleas-
antness between these stars" of the
French literary and theatrical fir
manent.
The great Napoleon married .
widow. Scarron's widow became a
court favorite. Rousseau went crazy
after widow, and Gibson, the histor-
ian, made himself ridiculous over one.
Disraeli married widow, and three
of the most distinguished widows in
Europe to-day are the Empress Eugenie
Of the French, Queen Isabella of the
Spanish and Queen Victoria Of the
| English.
Two ladies fresh from the aesthetic
circles of Philadelphia, were visiting
the British Museum One of them
was fat without being fair, and close
ly hugging 60. The other was fair
without being fat, and might have
been 20. The daughter had entered the
gallery of Greek statues, taken one
hurried glance and returned covered
with bushes Don't be fool; what's
the matter with you, Hannah-why
don't you go in?" said her mother, Civ
ing the girl a push "Oh-no-not
yet" protested the trembling creature,
II couldn't do it, mamma They've
been baGhing the statues and haven't
put on their clothes yet"
A special Surrogate at Buff alo, n.
Y, has decided that the widow of ex-
President Millard Fillmore was of
sound mind and not under duress
when her will was executed, by which
her estate was given TO several
churches and schools. The contest
ants, her first cousins, have made
bitter fight, and will have large bill
Of costs to pay. The ex-President's
mansion on Niagara Square, Buff
falo, was sold for $26, 600 less than it
cost
United States Senator George Gra-
ham Vest, of Missouri, began life as
newspaper man on a small sheet in
Louisville. He has been climbing
ever since. But he has never grown
any. He is short and thick, with
heavy brewn-gray hair and short
brown-gray mustache and goatee.
His neck is very short and his should
ers are very broad, and he carries
himself in very Independent fashion.
He usually wears military cloak and
big slouch hat. Vest was a promi
nent figure, as a'young man, IN the
Confederate Congress. He is promi-
nent man in this Congress.
rr~I- IL T. u