Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1883-05-28
IN A SLEEPING CAR.
A sPOOPENDYKE SKETCH.


"My dear" said Mr.. Spoopendyke,
ramming his arm up to his ear in the
family travelling bag, "say, my dear,
where is my night. shirt. Don't you
know what you did with my noctural
garment when you packed this measly
gripsack?"
isn't it there2" asked Mrs. Spoopeu-
dyke, holding the curtains together
with one hand while she tried to do up
her back hair with the other.
81 suppose it is" growled Mr.. Spoo-
pendy Ike, tumbling the things all over
the lower berth. at must be there, it
isn't here! Did you bring any sleeping
raimeRt for me or have | got to rOost
on the edge of this berth with my head
under my arm, like cooling dove, all
night? What's this thing, anyhow
Any mate to this?" and Mr.. SpOopen-
dyke unlOaded short sleeved gar
ment with frilS around the watch
pockets. 81 suppose this had to come
even if stayed home, couldn't you
have rented this out and brought me
something to sleep in?' and Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke fired the obnoxious article
into the upper berth and continued mis-
explorations.
"Pm sure put a night-shirt in for
you," murmured Mrs Spoopendyke,
clenching her hair in her teeth and
making a dive for the valise. at must
be in there somewhere
"HOw many of these does it taxa to
make a pair" demanded Mr.. SpoOpen-
dyke, drawing out tour or five stockings
of different cOlors and designs. "Maybe
that's it," and he grabbed another mys-
| terry and examined it intently. "Did |
have any night shirts made of wire?
Got tired of starching the measly things,
and now you put in springs to hold it
out, don't your
"Let it alone. That's minew squealed
Mrs. SpoOpendyke. "pll find your
night-shirt for you, if you'll let things
be?" and she fumbled around in the
bag in fruitlCsS search for the missing
garment. "Don't hurry, dear, and I'll
find it, if you'll give me time"
~ s'pOse you want TO give your notes
for it," don't yep squealed Mrs. SpOop-
endyke, tipping the satchel upside down
and rummaging around among the lares
and penates his wife had spent dap in
| packing. "Want thirty, sixty, ninety
days and a couple of extensions on that
night-shirt, don't We? Get me pen, ink
OH the side of the berth and glaring at
his wife. "DevelOp the meas y STA
| tionery and let us conclude this mer-
camille transaction. Thirty days after
| date | promise To pay 10 one Spoopen-
| dyke pair Of sleeves and collar. Six
| " days after date promise to pay the
same SpOOpendyke one back and one
stomach Ninety days after date l
promise to pay the identical Spoopen--
| dyke one good and lawful undivided
night-shirt tail of the realm. Who's
your indOrser? Bring into my pres
enCe the millionaire who secures the
negotiable instruments" and, fOaming
at the mouth, Mr.. SpOOpendyke went
for the bag again and turned 1t inside
out. "This is cash" he yelled. Get
me my cash night-shirt before the rest
| Of the passengers begin to think soda
fountain has burst i'll this sleeping Sec
tom
AZ don't know" sighed Mrs.
SpoOpendyke.
dyke. aye don't know! If we could
only put sleeves and a buttonhole into
| what YOU don't know, it would make
night shirts for the teeming millions OF
this measly vale of tearsw
"Say, DEAR" pleaded Mrs. Spoopen-
| dyke. "Say, dear, couldn't you wear
| one of mine just for this once"
Certainly ~ yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke'
"I was constructed short in the arms
! and thin in the neck for that express
purpose. Give me that blue enameled
one with flounces on the chest, ana
| hem-stitched arm. holes and the bow on
| the back! / think, my dear, he con-
| tinued, with unnatural gravity, as he
stepped into the garment as though II
were a pair Of trousers, 81 think, my
dear, it is going to be little short IN
| the legSn'
"Those are the sleeves" moaned Mrs.
| Spoopendyke. 81 don't believe you
can get your arms in them, but couIu
tie them around your neck and the
skirts would keep you warm enough
until morning"
THAT'S the ideaw yelled Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke, hopping out OF the night
| dress. and tlourishing it like banner.
IL knew you would hit it before you
wound upl With all that brlliiancy,
YOU only want to travel backward, and
| have two nucleuses to be Jenk
comet! Where's my night Shirt
"Here it is, DEAR" smiled MIS-: oPoo-
pendyke, who had unearthed It rom
under his overcoat. al put it out ior
YOU, and when you came, you threw
your oyercOat on top of it."
"Why didn't you say so at hrst
| growled Mr.. SpoOpendyke, crawling
| into the garment and hustling into the
| back part of the berth before his wife
could Get there. "What dye want to
| disturb the whole car for and keep me
awake an hour longer than necessary:
| Another time you pack up to go trayel,,
ing, YOU put things where you can ma
'em, or hereafter you will do most OF
your travelling between the front door
and back windows to see il l am COM
! ing homem and Mr.. Spoopendyke
growled himself to sleep.
~ don't care" murmured Mrs. SpGo-
pendyke, putting her shoes carefully
under the curtain so they wouldn't
stick out under the curtain and show
the other woman in the car what size
she wore, II don't care. He might
have asked for his library, or a step
ladder, and then I would have been In
trouble. think was fortunate that
il was only his night shirtw and with
this consoling reflection the good
| N@ TAO h.,l nd Low vva Z q