Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1883-03-30
F. u N
The BARRIERS Assistant Idle.

Inc 6afDerS Assistant l0le.
The barber shop near the Cooper Insti-
tute was bare of customers on Saturday
ard when the reporter dropped into the
proprietor's chair he found himself be-
tween that artist and the assistant, who
sat IN the next chair with his legs hung
over one of its arms.
silk leedle dem razors up,'' said the
barber to his assistant, who. by the way,
paid no attention to him. "Vell." the bar
Der continued, turning to the reporter.
"Mrs. Plake has asked us, "Vos it a CRIME
to peen woman" ton'd see how can We
effer settle dot. It defends on vich woman
We sbeak apowd. Der same dings vich
would CRIME peen in homely woman is
only ,shoost a leedle egcendricity in a
mockni6cent brize beauty.
'slf. it vos CRIME to be a woman, vot
q heap of it is laying around, und how
nice it is. chenerally sbeaking," said the
assistant.
"Dit you not hear me ? hat sayt fix
leedle dem razors up" said the barber
snow, all dot dalk apowd go-education OF
dem sexes makes leedle ovid. because it is
only der rich vot got shance at it. Del
machority of der poys und girls hat t.
drust to common sense und get education
along NIT small wages und bart work. py
hooky. As for peing afrait of a young vo.
mans morals, If she amt afrait apowd
'em herself vots der use of somepoddy elst
peing afrait of her Bedher der girls
should leedle education got for dakinp
care of demsellufs, SO dem will got der
hang Of it ven der dime comes.''
81 vos co.educated fiddle vile ven
peen kid by Chermany," the assistant
rema rked.
"Dit you fix dem razors SO quick alrett-
tyr"
81 say vos co-educated fiddle yet
Poys und girls sat among demselfs together
by der same room, und it vos punishment
for poy to sit girl alongsite. EffeI
since found dot ovid hat peen bunish-
ing myself an averitcb of dwice week.
lofe der vimmen. und it prakes me all to
bieces up ven I dink only Won of dem can
lofe me at a dime. Oh, hat such nice
Sunday girl all der winter. In der parbel
peezness We hat der whole of Sunday night
ovid from der shop away, und SO Sunday
night is der dime for our pest girl. She
vos rich und vos after her like sexty.
used to meet her sometimes py Voshing
tons Market in der mornings und SIT NIT
her votching der sun rise from her farder's
vegetable wagon. Efferyding vent along
pully excepting week pack of last Sun
day, ven l had a dalk nit her oft man
We disagreed apowd how der marritcb
peezness should peen performed. l vonted
to haf it Won way, md be preferred dee
trent blan.
"You and he. held different religious be.
liefs. evidently" the reporter said.
''Vell, not choost exactly. My blan vos
to marry his gal. und he vonted me to
marry some 'udder gal, he didn I seem to
care vich.''
''Now, my pcy, said the proprietor not
unkindly, ''choost dink how deeferunt dis
chendlemans would haf of you his obinion
uf you had fixed leedle dem razors up"
THE DIFFERENcE.-''Jn our country
said the Englishman, as he leaned back in
his chair, "before We marry we arrange to
settle a certain sum upon the wife,
Eyes, know" replied the American.
''but with Us it s different. 1t is alter We
are married that we settle everything on
the wife and arrange to beat our creditors
"Haw! I see. And how do the credi-
tors take it?''
''They never find anything to take''
"Uo you realize-haye you reflected over
it-Angeline 2" whispered Clarence to his
hetrothed. "Only two weeks more and
we shall be one! "But remember, darl-
ing. am to be that one.''
Some heartless wretch caught two cats.
tied them by the tails, and flung them in
to the cellar of church. The residents
of the vicinity heard the noise the animals
made but thought it was the choir rehears-
ing.
A scientist says that a man is nothing
more than fly. except in the matter of
avoirdupois. This may be 80, but one
pesky little fly can have more fun with
dozen bald-headed men than one man
could with dozen flies.
Girl graduates in England wear gowns
precisely like those woln by university
men and made by the same tailor. The
only way to tell which from t'other is to
wait for q mouse.
Sis the bowling of a dog always follow
ed by death?r asking little girl Of her
father. "Not always my dear; sometimes
the man that shoots at the dog misses
him. was the parents reply.
mo, SIR" said the practical man, ''no
bric-a-brac on the mantel for me It's
. nuisance. Where's man to put his
feetp
How to get cut Of a scrape-Let your
beard grow.
A poll tax-G sting ones hair cut.
Patent Nsltess-xouaL doct:rs.