The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1883-12-08
TEhAb-BY NAIL
THE WAY TO SUCCEED.
Some Business and Social Max
inns Which may be Worth
Remembering.
[Puck.]

IT you want to succeed in life, you
must wrap yourself in mystery. II
you earn but SIS a week, you must dis
semble in sucn marner as to make
people believe you enjoy princely
income.
You must talk about wealthy peo-
pie as though iDtimat. ly acquainted
with them You must walk down
town to save money, and tell
people you do it for the exercise,
which you need because of your Sc
dentary position, even if you are a
hod-carrier in an obscure neighbor-
ood.
If You can't get an overcoat, smil-
ingly go without one, and laugh at
the man who wears one, and say you
are not delicate. aud the weather il
not cold enough, and you'Ie afraid
you will be obliged to put on your
summer undertaking if it doesn't
hurry up and get cold.
If you can't afford to leave the city
during the heated term, say you pre-
fer the city every time, and ridicule
the country as much as possible by
saying it is only bower of mosqui-
toes and malaria. and that you can't
get decent meal there to save your
life.
But if you can't afford to live at
Newport or in the more fash, cable
parts of the city, go and secure a den
in Blocker street or some other out.
of-the-way place, and camp out for
the summer, and tell your friends in
the winter that you have been in
Colorado.
II you are unable to secure Der
by IN October, stick to your straw hat
and say that you intend to wear it
right into the winter, because your
hair is falling out, and the straw is
80 loosely sewed that the wind may
pass through and ventiate it.
Then, when an elderly man asks
you how much money you are MAX
ing, out of idle curiosity, turn about
aud smilingly ask him if he thinks
Tilden will run. Never answer his
questions, and, above all things, nev-
er swap condolences or become init
mate with people you meet in a
boarding bOuse.
When man tells you how you
might make a big fortune, ask him
how it is that he is poor. And when
he tells you how rich he would be ii
he were only your age, tell him that
no one can preach success as elO-
quently as q pronounced failure.
If you incline to gambling, keep
out Of Wall street. Leave stocks
alone, and 90 risk J our money in q
Legitimate gambling house. 1t is all
gambling, and the same thing; but
the regularly ordained gambling |
house gives you your verdict before
your eyes, on the spot.
Never rush in to seperate two men
who are fighting IN the street. 1t
you d., you may be struck by both |
parties. Stand off and take in the |
circus, II the men have sufficient |
provocation to maui each other, it |
would be cowardly and wicked for |
them not to fight. Anyhow, it is
none of your business, and YOU, there.
fore, have no right to interfere ana
spoil the fun; because we have no
more fun in this world than we
want, and the more we have the
we become.
Never land at q friends house at
meal time. It will look as though
you were trying to secure a gratui-
tous dinner; and. besides, will not
get better dinner than you can buy
for dollar; and they may
have q number of things on the
table tnat you don't like, and you
will have to eat them OutOf courtesy.
Never spend SIC, 900 to have your
daughter taught to sing, or play on
the piano, because you can go and
get surfeiied with the lest profess
sional living for 81. Besides. just
AZ your daughter is becoming pro-
ficient, she will marry dry goods
drummer and leave you. After a
woman marries she closes the piano
for good. and Stops singing in order
to find time to talk.
Never order q Spanish ome!ette IN
q country hotel.
Never buy dog from boy you
don't know.
Never have a picture taken with
cornet in your mouth, an ACCORDION
in you hand, or fire-hat on your
head.
Nev,r wear your cuf-buttons or
scarf-pin designed to show your call
ing.
whara the Votes Came From. |