Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-01-12
WIT THE WORLD OVER.

Musico geographical: aGounod's Re
demption' has been sung in its entire
ty by the choir at the Reformed Church,
Jersey City. n. Y.
Placing the "in: s'United at last"
cried the Chicago bride and groom
after q long courtship. Omitted at
last" cried the Chicago bride and
groom of short matrimony.
A masculine book: Junior labor
iously) der Buch ist-n Professor
C-"Holdl sir. Did you ever see
book of the masculine gender?" Jun
Tor (promptly Eyes, sir. A hymn
book"
Forgiven: YES" said old Deacon
Snaggs, "that fellow stole my horse,
but / shall not prosecute him. He
traded the animal to that COMPOUNDED
old scamp, Zske Hasham, for 5000
more than it was worth, SO forgive
him the theft"
John Logan's smashing grammar,
Into ten thousand bits;
Cries John: 80, hear my clanor!
I'm giving Porter Fitz!"
In regard to a dogs age: "How old
is that dog?" was asked of colored
man. "If he lives ter see the fifth OBJ
naixt June, he'll be de oldest dog on de
plantation" "And if he don't live till
then?" Hell be dead, sah!"
Awilling witness: secretary-"Her
old man, is your witness Fee" Old
man-"Thank you very much. As /
am an Old man with few opportunities
of earning penny, / hope you will
call upon me again when you need a
witness"
Out of the frying pan, etc.: Parson
Ito ne'er-do- well)-" What's this I hear.
Giles that your wife has left yeu?
Ali this is what L" Gii,s-"She
might do worse than that, SIR" Par
son Shocked -"Worsep Giles-"She
might come back again"
A gallant reply: Miss Lucy (stop-
ping opposite freplace) -"Here's where
you and I are TO sit, major" Major
"By Jovel-a-rather warm place"
Miss Lucy--"Whatl you major and
can't stand fire." Maior-"Not at my
back, you know, Miss Lucy
Discovery of an important work:
Professor-"Mr. x, what does your
note say on the subject" Freshman
sit gives the reference, &c. de Nat.
Door, 1895" Professor-"Well, what
does that mean?" zero
concerning the birth of Christ"
A new departure in fiction: Sam
Peterby, who bias great deal of liter
airy ability, recently submitted an un-
finished novel t. a friend for criticism.
The friend examined it, and upon Pc
terby asking for a candid opinion the
former asked: "What in the mischief
do you mean by killing off all the char
acters in the fourth chapter?" Ha!
that's splendid idea of mine. In the
fifth chapter l am going to trot out
all their ghosts and have them kill
each other off. 1t is going to be one of
the most spirited novels of the day"
A Kentuckian's definition of life in
surance: 81 don't make none O. them
bets, stranger, that man must die be-
fore he wins"
Selection: Brown las he Was leaving
our AIT conversszione, after a rafting
scramble in the cloak room)-"Con-
found ii! Got my own hat, after all,
Fair but false: EYES," said the fair
but false young vocalist of Bumbleton,
"that is An old English song with a re-
frain" "Ah," replied the crusty critic,
"that just suits me. Refrain from sing
ing it. !"
Why she priced it: 81 wouldn't lose
thas roller pin for money!" exclaimed
an Oshkosh woman, brandishing q chunk
of wood that looked as if it had been in
a hight with sausage chopper. Every
time lose husband I cut notch in
it."
A mild concept: How apt the young
people are to pick up the jargon OF
trade When Biggs asked the fair Are
thusa to marry him off hand, she plead
ed embarrassment and asked for an ex-
tension. 1t was given her, but the love
making business will go right on.
He passed: Harry-I say, Charley,
Tout of sortsl-"Why don't you wait
on yourselff" Harry-''Because, Char
ley, hate poor servant. But you,
you know, are SO admirably fitted for
the business" Charley passes the
book-at Harry's head.
As long as she lived: 81 don't care
what anybody says" remarked Mrs.
Fogg warmly; "Mr. Bolus is good
doctor, and l shall employ him as long
as I i've" every likely" replied
Fogg; 81 believe it is the same with all
his patients. They all employ him as
long as they ive-that is to say, until
he gets through with them"
A matter of syntax: (which am de
properest way to suppress oneself.
does yer say: we Gated at de table,
or we has done ate at de table p"
asked one Austin darkey of another,
they being engaged in grammatical
discussion. AS they could not agree,
the question was referred to Uncle
Nose for his decision, which was: Gin
de case OBJ you two niggahs none of
you am right" "What am de proper
way to say, we Gated at de table,
Uncle Nose ~ ODE properest way for
SIGH cattle as you two am to say: 'We
fed at de trof'"