The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-11-28
WIT AND PLEAsANrRY.

''There are /, 400. OOO, 900 people upon the
earth at present, according to the latest sta
tistics."
Said North Side lady looking up from
the paper Only think of it; and we haven't
had a caller for two days.
Small boy: "Pa, did you know ma long
before you married her?" Pa: II didn't. l
didn't know her until long after L married
her."
An Exchange asks was there man so ut
terly vile and degraded whom some woman
could not be found to pity and forgive? We
guess not but dear friend what on earth have
you been doing.
Married men have nothing.to say in disap-
prevail of the "shingled bang" As a rule, a
married man doesn't care what his wife does
TO her own hair so long as she keeps her
hands out Of his.
A conversation that ma did not hear: "Pa,
was reading to-day where it says that a
wOman'S tongue is her sword" Yes, my
son and just think of all the nations that
have been put 10 the swordP'
"Never mind, you young kid, Pm going
mp to see your mother about This j. That's
all right" yelled back the small boy, You
just 20 right along up there. Pa filled a man
full OF buckshot the other day for going to
see my ma"
Man and wife are one, are they%' said she.
'Yes; what of it?' said he suspiciouSly.
why, in that case said his wife, Il came
home awfully tipsy last night aud feel ter
ribly ashamed of myself this morning" He
never said word.
A Texas debating society debated the ques-
ton: When a watermelon vine runs into
another mans land, who owns the melons,
The referee decided that the colOred man
who lived about a mile and half from the
two farms owned the melons.
why dear, what has become of the morn
ing pspery asked gentleman of his wife. II
thought you had finished reading it," she
replied. II haven't read a word of IL yet"
4 little later she gave il to him, but it took
five minutes to smooth it into proper shape
for perusa..
Together they were looking over the paper.
20 my, how funny" said she. What is it,"
he asked why, here's an advertisement
that says, No reasonable offer refused "
What's so odd about that"' Nothing,
nothing" she replied trying to blush, only
those are my sentiments"
An exchange tells of a Chicago young man
who in rash moment, told his girl that
she would hang up her stocking on Hallow
Fen he would fill it to the brIm with some
thing nice. When he saw her stocking he
was undecided whether to get into it him
self or buy her sewing machine.
The New York Journal is asked: eff a
youth is engaged to young lady whose faith
er 'shuffies Off what is the youths place at
the funeral2' This is a somewhat difficult
question to answer; but if the youth were to
Shuttle Off there would be no trouble to de.
ter mine his posi- ton the funeral He
would fall in Immediately behind the clergy
man.
MOntaigne-who is now deceased we be-
Heye-said: There is no torture that
man would not suffer to enhance her beau
ty-' But we don't believe a woman would
suffer the torture of seeing her husband come
10 the opera with q strange lady, when he
told her, as he left the house in the evening.
that he would be down at the office until
midnight and she need not wait up for him.
Not more than once.
Professor Flower has been discussing the
nature and value of whalebone in two very
lengthy lectures. He is Of course a bachel,r.
In the course of time. or whenever he arrives
at that period of discretion at which man
marries, bis wife will be able to tell him
more about the value and use of whalebOne
than he can find out in month by medi-
tating on awbale's mouth.
Der next man comes in und softly says:
'4Carl, would you like to see der shtreets of
Detroit knee-deep init plood%' "Vhell, no,
dot makes the sleighiDg pooty badt." do
you vhant to see all der workingmen sitting
on der sidewalk NIT grief in der hearts?' Il
guess not. Dot makes US all walk in der
middle of der street." "Vhell, if you don't
like to see all dis you must vote for der DEM
obratic candidate. He vhss der man dot
pulls US through Detroit Free Press.
II wish" remarked Mr.. Blinks in quer
ulous tone, that you would learn to do
things the way my mother did. Now, these
tea cakes are not sweet enough they have a
little too much spice. and besides are little
mite heavy. Now. my mother always'-
"Mr Blinks" asked Mrs. G with a danger
Gus lightin her eyes "what did your mother
do when you used to come home from school
and grumble at everything after she had
shaved herself nearly to death all day trying
20 get things in some sort of shape for sup
Mr.. b. 81 shall endeaver 70 do things as your
mother did," said Mrs. B., quietly. Mr. B.
concluded that the cakes were pretty good.
Written I'm 1910.