The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-05-23
PLEASANTLY.

Sound advice, that comes by telephone, is
not to be despised.-New Orleans Picayune.
Europe depends upon Reuter- dispatches
for news of the American hog aoroad.-New
Orleans Picayune.
A Jackson County milkman, while work
ing the pump-handle, calls out: "H'ist
there, so, boss, so there, nowl' 1t is a way
he has of easing MS conscience.-Modern
Argo.
Now that Arthur Sullivan is knighted we
shall expect no more musical works from
him, for the Good Book tells us that when
the knight cOmeth no man can work.-Bos-
ton Transcript
A New York Judge before whom was
brought young man caught serenading his
best girl, fined him as a nuisance. It is sell
dom New Yorker exhibits such good judg-
ment in musical matters.-Lowel Citizen.
Said Mrs. Blank, at the funeral of a dear
friend, ut is too bad, isn't it, that Clara was
so thin when she died? How much better
she would look had she died before she lost
so much flesh. Boston Transcript.
poor fellow, he died in poverty" said q
man of person lately deceased. That isn't
anything" exclaimed seedy bystander.
''dying in poverty is no hardship. It's living
in poverty that puts the thumbscrew on fell
lOw."-Rome Sentinel.
Princess Louise is a good housekeeper,
cook confectioneT, lsundrcss, seamsiress and
drsssraaker. Being q Princess, instead OF
the daughter of retired fish mo1ger, sne is
not ashamed to possess such accomplish
Observation-Disclosures News.
Just after the opera-1Iiss OGtremer: ooh,
Theo is lOvely--avissante-i o French-so
much cssh-sO mu sblndonr Maiden
aunt: Yes, I've always understood that
those French actresses were abandoned csea-
lures. Harvard Lampoon.
They we're eourting: Don't sit so near
to me-" she said. Il amt near you" said
he. You are" II ain't" but you will
BE-" mo | won't, neither" Then you'd
better 20 home. for ! hain't got no use for
yeu." No cards Drummer.
"Woman's rightsY' exclaimed Philadel-
phia man. whsn the subject was preached.
"What more rights co they want? Ny wife
hoses me; Onr daughters boss rs both and
the servt nj girl bosses the whole family It's
time the men were allowed some rights
In modern Egypt young man is no. per-
mitted 20 SEE his wife's lSce before marriage.
This is rather rough or the young man, but
it prevents The newspapers Of Egypt from
making Jokes about the girl euticing him
into an ice cream saloon and bzakrupting
him in the first TOund.-NorristOwn Herald.
80. By the war, Tom said IN Austin lady
to her husband inst after breakfast "0e sure
and bring home that new tilk dress | select
ed yesterday. crushed strawberry, you
know "Hark We, Maria" replied the affsc-
tiOuate ard melc-dramatic Ihom9s, me
thinks ] now eanBg trace a close analogy be-
tween crushed strawberry and crushed peck
ct books. Take that small burden on thy
mind and musel2whilei my dear"
81 am afraid ny health is giving away"
said Colonel Percy YOTger TO his wife, as be
adjusted the vet towel about his aching
trSE. You never complained OF your
health being bad until you began to asso-
ciate with them Legislators remarked his
wife, saresstically. well" ne responded,
''ell I know is that drink o little, get sleepy,
and when / wake up I am thirsty. That
don't look right ina healthy man"
Man at telephone: "Confoand You, can't
you hear? / hear you easy enough" And
there came through the instrument these re-
maIkable words: "ShOald think you might.
You've got big advantage over me. Just
think the size OF your ear" The man
threw down the receiver with jerk and
vowed that the telephone was 5lankety
blank humbug, and he'd have the - thing
taken out to-norrOw.-Bostsn Transcript.
Speaking OF Fanny Dsyenport's married
life, the Washington Capital remarks: "Since
then Edward and Fanny have attended
strictly to business, and the family treasure
vault IS becoming a regular bonded ware
house. When Edward places his velvet cheek
on the pillow ct night Fanny softly MUIR
murs, Dearest, have YOU clipped the cou-
ponsg Yes, precious butterfly And
locked the national bank? Yes rose OF my
hearts desire Then call me early, for to-
morrow / am to meet our family plumber
and have a tete-a-tete with the gas man.
Edward Yes Kiss me; this is my
twentieth birthday"
I've bin down to York on bizness" he
was explaining TO a fellow passenger on an
Erie train, "and I'm greatly disappinted."
How wall de hull kentry has allus
bin falkin' about how Tuuch money is made
and lost in Wall street and / thought I'd 90
down and try 'em pull or two "And
you lost2' mo, / didn't lose or gain
weEt into a dozen places and asked 'em
what they'd sell out for, and | went into a
d. zen other places and asked 'em to trot out
their game, and do you know that 1 didn't
even git the chance 10 win or lose ten cests
on a wheel of fortunel 1 kinder spec Wall
street is humbug."