Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1883-09-22
THE DRJivJgER.


Laugh and grow at-and advertise. Shakespeare.
When is tree like liniment ? When it
re-eaves.
"My DEAR" said husband 10 his wife,
6 what kind of a stone do You suppose they will
give me when l am gone She answered
cooy, " Birthstone, John" Resolved to
heap Goals of fire upon her head he went
away and ordered one Of Mossinan' stone water
coolers, for which she had long sighed.
Oscar Wilde says the Englisl, dude is no,
wanted in the United States because the
Yankee dood'I do" Whereupon Messrs.
Dillingham; and Co. reply that, should any
sub-ducd Hawaiian develop itself they are
ready To lock it up in q magneso-calcitc safe,
or if necessary put it out with an Hardness
extinguisher.
II iTsaid that true Bostonian is one who,
when he is in Rome, does as the Bostonians
do. The true Honolulan, on the other
hand, is he who appreciates asgood thing
when he sees it, and consequently appreciates
the wonderful display of art treasures now on
view at the sales rooms of Messrs G.. w. Mac
iarlane and Co.
Little Susie, on coming home from her first
attendance at church, was asked how i, hap
pened that she went 10 sleep. can the
men did, said Susie. Now the writer is con
iidcnt that if Susie had had one Of the pretty
fall hats now TO be purchased at Mellis', she
would have been so glad and grateful that she
would have kept awake thinking Of her good
fortune in having nice papa and mamma 10
get it for her.
Miss Dolly White, of Newbuy, Vermont,
has recently celebrated her centenary She is
said to possess an unimpaired intellect and
remarkable memory. II is very likely that,
being New Highlander, her ''daiy bread is
largely made up of those nutritious and appe-
,izing preparations Of corn meal, wheat, and
other hrinaceous compounds Of which Messrs.
Henry May and Co have so large and various
an assortment.
A mother standing at the gate, calls 10 her
boy who is exactly sixty-cieht feet distant. II
takes two minutes and twenty-five seconds for
the sound TO reach him. Find from this the
7elocity with which womans voice travels. y
After you have done this take counsel OF your
wife, and, after she has expressed her senti.
ments, drive her to Warehouses; Fort street
store, and see with what velocity her voice
will order new dress from the splendid
stock before her.
Mr.. Gibson, Mr.. Walker, Mr.. Glade, and
Mr.. Brown were seen in earnest consultation
near the corner Of Fort and Hotel streets, las,
Thursday evening. II was at first believed
that they intended to arrange new Cabinet
that should harmonic all interests but sub. |
sequenty il was discovered that the only oh. |
jeci Of their conversation Was the excellence Of
the Bethesda water, on draughi at Palmer
aud Ihaieher's drug store, Of which they had
Just partaken greatly TO their rchcshment.
a man advertised for " help mate who
shall he companion Of my heart, my head, |
my lot A candidate for the situation wrote |
:" don't care TO know anything about your
head OF heart bu, how big is your lota III
that young man had lived in Honolulu he
would have been modes,ly obliged to confess
that, large as it was, his 10, was small1r than
The ios Of new and staple goods brought over
by Mr.. samuel Not, on his recent return i,on
San Francisco. including a Inc line 81 silver
plated goods.
Some one was telling Professor Alexander,
the other day, about priee Of furniture
somewhere in this city said To be over seven
hundred years old. That's nothing" re
Piled the encouragement, i've an Arabic
liable at home over four thousand years old.
What KIND of table can il be-. asked the
Other Why rs multiplication table," &c.
pl'sd the professor, d'yiy. II anyone wants 1
really good table, however, he has onl, TO /
'p'en's~ the popular manage, Of The Cab.
'o'n'a faIni'uIe-manuEetuIing Company. on
Queen-stEees.