davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
Serving a Divorca Panar.

Some time ago a Napa officer was
given a notice of application for divorce
to serve upon the wife of one David
Rice, in which the complaint charged the
aforesaid party with being a common
scold, of violent temper, and terror to
the neighborhood. Itso happened that
the applicant for a disseverance of the
covenant of marriage had married
brother in the same vicinity, at whose
house he called by mistake. On knock
ing at the door and inquiring for the
mistress of the mansion he was shown
into the kitchen, where he found a
plump and buxom woman of a pleasing
countenance cooking doughnuts. He
stated his business-that he had paper
to serve upon her, but it seems that he
was too tender-hearted to abruptly an
nounce its import. Having her hands
covered with the doughy flour, the
curious lady requested him to read the
precept, which he proceeded to do,
''summoning the said wife to appear at
a certain date, to show cause why her
husband should not be granted divorce
from her on the grounds of extreme
cruelty, violent obiurgation, aggravated
scolding, and being a common vixen"
At this point ladle of hot, greasy fried
cakes struck the officer in the face, and
brought an abrupt conclusion to his me-
lodious delivery 'sLet me see that
paper, you vile skunk-you are reading
a lie?" and glancing at the document
she had torn from the astonished Off
cer's grasp, she looked at its title, saw
it was directed to Mrs. Abigail Rice,
and with cry of exultation exclaimed:
You blasted fool, that's my brothers
wife, and you have come to the wrong
house" She then apologized for her
violent demonstration, and gleefully
laughed as she stated that he would re-
ceive much worse treatment if he I'M
dertook to read the same document to
the woman to whom it was directed.
Upon this showing the officer concluded
he would not venture; and so, sealing
the summons in an envelope, he called
and delivered it to Mrs. Abigail Rice
without staying to inquire whether she
could read il or not. However, his nose
was SO blistered by the hot fat from the
doughnut ladle that it has retained a
rubicund hue since the above occur
renee.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
Life on Mexican Haciendas,

Mexican haciendas vary in size; some
OF the Enclosures contain space of from
two to five acres, while others will cover
an area of from twenty to forty. The
written was for week the guest of an
old haciendado, whose walls inclosed a
space of seYenty-five acres and were de-
Tended by $50 stout, we'll armed and ex-
perienced poems and servants. This
property had been attacked and success
fully defended eighteen times. The
proprietor, Don Roberto R. was
about so years old in 1871. He was
born in the valley where his property
was situated, and had never been 100
leagues distant from it. Yet of his five
sons one was educated at Flushing, N.
Y, another in Paris, yet another in Lon
don, England, while two had never left
him. He had six daughters, all of whom
were as extremely ignorant as his
three eldest sons were we'll educated, -
Neeo Orleans Tsnaes-Democrat.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
Giddy Lovers,

Pet:-I am dying to see you. Meet me at the !
postoffce at2 p. IN. Saturday. DOLBY.
The above advertisement appeared in
a Cincinnati paper not long ago, and !
contains nothing that would be likely to
attract attention. 1.-Two young spoon
eys," said tho reporter, ''whose cruel |
mammas forbid their meeting At the
appointed hour the reporter found him.
self in the vicinity of the meeting place, !
and wended his way to seat in one of
the large windows that has in turn
served as aresting-place for bootblacks,
drunken men, detectives and statesmen
for many years. Businessmen, always
in hurry, passed in and out; office
boys fingered around, as is their wont
when sent to do anything. The heavy
door opened and a young miss tripped
in and looked around in an anxious un-
certain manner that told her unfamil-
iarity with the place. That's the Pet"
thought the reporter. dolby will soon
be along"
After having letter weighed at the
window the girl hurried out She wasn't
'.Pet."
In the twenty minutes that followed
perhaps hundred persons came and
went. The case was growing tiresome,
and the reporter was pleased when an
elderly gentleman, who had been lean
ing on the end of the desk, began con-
versation. His talk was. interesting and
showed an intimate knowledge of the
city and its affairs.
Live here?" inquired the reporter.
'Have for fifty years. Was born here
just that long ago"
"Oh, yes; l remember you," replied
the reporter.
just then matron of 45 came in, and
there was a sudden recognition and a
gallant lifting of tie hat that b1tokened
the well-bred gentleman. "Some mem
Der of his church congregation, Presi-
dent of the Ladies Sewing Circle the
reporter mumbled to,himself.
''Do you know, "were the first words
spoken, 'that came just as near over
looking your advertisement as any,
thing? 1t would have been too bad.
What strange way to send Ietter-so
funny, too. Oh! you funny manr'
Hreat guns! She was Pet and the
reporter had been face to face with
''Dobby," and didn't know it. A sud-
den nausea came upon him, and he fled
to the nearest drugstore, where report
ers are admitted behind the prescription
case.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
Romance Of the Carpet.


Basl1ing in peace in the warm spring sun,
South Hill smiled upon Burlington.
The breath of Mayi and the day was fair,
And the bright notes danced in the balmy air:
And the sunlight CLEANED where the restless
Kissed the fragrant bloom on the apple trees.
His beardless check with smile was spanned
And he stood with a carriage whip in his hand;
And ne laughed as he doffed his bob-tail coat,
And the echoing folds of the carpet smote;
And she smiled as she leaned on her busy mop.
And she said she would tell him when to stop.
So he pounded away till the dinner bell
Gave him little breathing spell;
But he sighed when the kitchen clock struck
one,
And she said the carpet wasn't done.
But he lovingly put in his biggest licks,
And pounded ike mad till the clock struck six;
And she said in dubious kind OF a way
That she guessed he could finish it up next
day.
Then ali that day, and the next day. too,
The fuzz from the dirtess carpet few.
And she'd give it a look at eventide,
And say, Now beat on the other side.
And the new days came as the Old ones went,
And the landlord came for his regular rent;
And the neighbors laughed at the tireless
broom,
And his face was shadowed with clouds of
gloom,
TIL at last one cherries winter day
He kicked at the carpet and slid away
Over the fence and down the street,
Speeding away with footsteps feet.
And never again the morning gold
Smiled at him beating his fold on fold
Ard South Hill often said with ayawn,
where has the carpet martyr gone?'
Years twice twenty had come and passed,
And the carpet swayed in the autumn blast,
For never yet, since that spring so fine
Had IL ever been taken down from the line.
Over the fence gray-haired man
To Climb CLONE, elem, cum, clamb began.
He found him stick in the Old wood-pile,
And he gathered it up with a sad, grim smile.
A face foflOrn
As he g8Z5d at the carpet tattered and torn,
And he hit 1t most resounding thwack,
Till the startled air gave its echoes back;
Ard out of the window W. tie face leaned,
And palsied hand the pale face screened.
She knew his face-she gasped and sighed,
"a little more on the under side"
Right down on the ground his stick he throwed
And he shivered and said, ,''Well, am bowed!"
And he turned away with heart full sore,
And he never, no, never, was seen there more.
burlington Hawkeye.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
How He Made IT,

$50 you have found bookkeeping a
source of great profit?" queried New
Yorker of Colorado man whom he met
in Chicago the other day.
''Well, / suppose the hotel has met
expenses, though | amt sure" was the
reply.
''But they tell me you have made
$500, 600"
Yes, but you see have saloon at
tached to the hotel, and {. silver mine
attached to the saloon, and faro-room
attached to the mine, and Il act as judge
at all horse-races and as umpire at all
prize-fights. Oh, we don't expect a
Western hotel to make dollar. - Wall
Street NeaCs,
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
WHOLE NO. 1900.
The Barber Refuses to Talk,


81 shall haf nodings more TO say"
said the German barber near the Coop
er Institute, while he was shaving the
reporter yesterday, "unless Something's
so bardicular habbens [ cand keeb my
mout shut Pm dired uf dalking. Id
aind nadural. A parber is like man
vot got himselluf arresded for a CRIME.
It's againsd his inderesds to haf doc
much to say. Ids so sdrangefor par
Der to be oil der time dalking beeple
look at me as if vos q sord of gu~i-
osidy.
lid vos choost such hot vedder like
dis year ago ven you first game py
my shop and pegan to make in der bap-
ers voolishness of my obinions apowd
dings. 1t dook me some weeks to found
ovid vich Won uf my gusdimers youvos,
und musd say vos SURPRISED ven l
found it vos you yourselluf. You are
der firsd reborder | effer saw, und l nef-
fer should haf susbected you uf didn't
found you ovid l subbosed a reborder
was some shdrange animal sord uf vel
Ter; tall so he could see ofer beeple's
heads, und haf blendy legs pesites; NIT
pig ears like an elephand. eyes like a
gubble elegtrig lambs, und shmard like
a house afire.
II hat ofden wished to shafe rebor-
der, to feel uf his chaw a leedle, und see
uf it is formed for asking gwesdions diff
ferund from der resd der chaws in
parber shop. But you are gwide an or
tinary sord of feller. Insite crowt,
| would misdake you for shendleman
like myselluf. I subbose it's bard of
your peezness not to look like a rebor-
der, in facd Won uf my gusdimers vich
is in der Gondroller's office (vhere de
tond do Something's ad all for liffing)
dells me dot nod any uf der recorders
look like recorders at all. Now how
can such ding be like dot. l can't
find ovid.
Il wood a leedle like to know how is
it der recorders get so quick der news,
alretty. Are der Americans so fond uf
der babers vot dem Modify der recorders
please come rlghd away to such and
such a blace; am choosd apowd 70
commit suicite or git arresded for pur-
glary, or shood a brize fighter?' Or
haf der recorders some brifate way got
uf finding ovid vot will habben yet, so
dem can go to a house und say: 'Blease
let ME sit py der barlor und vGida A
murter is coming off py dis blace IN a
gubble hours
"By chiminy hooky! If 1 am going
to commit suicite or bankruptcy or get
purned away, l would peen much Obliged
if, instet of going among der neighpors
arount you would come straighd to me.
In case | vos choost apowd to commit
Suicita IL VOrl6 paep blaoSop+ ~ found
it ovid
Der monkey parber py der negst
shair would also like to know from some
sociedy reborder if he is going to marry
der blummer's laughter or nod. Der
hummer says he can marry as of5en he
bleases, only he's got to vaiG wear und
produce $4,000 der Wedding day, yet.
Der monkey parber says be has daken
legal advice, and been informed dot
efen he should hang arount der Prook-
Fridge dill he got crushed to deth he
would not get poore as $4,000. IN Y.
Sun.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
A Legal Point.

He looked like rising young lawyer,
as he entered Jersey City bank the
other day and inquired of the cashier:
Has any person presented check
here bearing my signature j. @.
Smith?'
mo, sirn
IF such a check was filed in for
5000 and my name forged to it, would
it be cashedp''
mo, sir-not even if the signature
was genuine and the note filled in for
S10!9
''Ah-eh-yes! was simply making
legal point. | bank in my vest pock-
ct! Good morning. - VAL Street Nescs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
a Tramp Lays Down Law to a Farmer.

A frowsy tramp who had got out of
New York by way of the bridge, called
at farmers house, near East New
York, to get something to eat, and was
told to chop up some kindling-wood in
the yard. He worked for half an hour,
and then he was fed. After he had fin
ished he said to the farmer:
'.Now, give me 2 quarter for chop
ping wood, and we'll be square.
''ButI gave you your dinner" said the
farmer.
Il don't work for victuais. work for
money when work, and the victuals is
bonus"
"Well, l won't pay you"
"All right, boss, then I'll sue you. I
know the law. Work means money, not
victuals. can wait. I've got lots of
time: but I'll have you before the court,
if you don't fork over"
The farmer at length paid the quar-
ter, bat he angrily protested that he
would never again give another tramp
meal.
"All right, boss said the tramp,
hiding the coin in his rags; ..but if you
Go, don't ask your guest to perform
manual labor. So long. ."-New York
Sun.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
NEVER GIVE UP.

If you are suffering with low and de-
pressed spirits, loss of appetite, general
debility, disordered blood, weak consti-
tuition, headache, or any disease of bill
ious nature, by all means procure bot
tie of Electric Bitters. You will be sur
prised to see the rapid Improvement that
will follow; you will be inspired with new
life; strength and activity win return;
pain and misery will cease, and hence
forth you will rejoice in the praise of
Electric Bitters. Sold at so cents bot
tie by Robinson & Hinrichs. 6
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
Light From Heavy Congressman,

Mr.. Horr-"Do you 60 abroad for
your authors as well as for your factsP"
Mr.. Cox. of New York-..I 60 where
ever there is sunlight; wherever l can
find tallow dip or ray, in Michigan or
anywhere, l viii go there or elsewhere.
60 anywhere for my light. If / could
get my friend from Michiga1 (Mr. Horr)
in some sort of a condition where l
could put wick into him / would IL
Illuminate this great country from Maine
to the gull. Great laughter and ap-
plause. 1-C Congressional Record
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
Stylish Hosiery,


An enormous amount of bright-check-
ed, striped, and figured hosiery has been
thrown on the market at seemingly
cheap rates, which many have purchas-
ed, although they considered the colors
and patterns too pronounced, because
the quality was good for the price, and
they consoled themselves with thinking
that snowy hosiery was tolerated and
even fashionable. But, alas! these cheap
and durable styles have all light
grounds, and are vulgarized by pink
and reds and blues and olives in large
checks, which would appear well enough
if put on ground of the same color but
darker shade, but on a light, unbleach-
ed ground are simply unwearable, for
the fancy styles and mixed colors are
rapidly going out, and only the fine
plain shades are now used by people
whose taste is authority, the very dark
shades being used for day wear, the
evening shades to match toilets only.
Nothing can surpass for beauty the
plain, best-quality silk hose in the ex-
quisite shades of dark, raspberry red, !
garnet, wine 70 or, crushed strawberry
bronze, and the black which is so fash
ionable. The clock at the sides is the
only ornament, and even in Paris they
cost 15 francs the pair (S2). The in
sertion of lace into silk stockings is of
very questionable wisdom. If anything
could add an additional charm it is fine
lines of embroidery lengthwise upon the
front of the foot, and this often forms
an exquisite ornamentation upon hand
some silk hosiery. Above the ankle
round lines are more becoming to the
upper leg, but they should not amount
to more than border. AS a rule, how
ever, the fine dark, solid shades of color
cannot be improved upon, and they are
as desirable in French thread and cot
ton as in silk. For children they are
Indispensable, their stockings being so
much exposed, and there is no better
test of social position nowadays than
the color and quality of the hosiery of
the children of family.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
Fresh Graduates in Newspaper Offices.

We hear people even now specializing
on the enrichment Of the newspaper
through the acquisition of boy and girl
graduates; but as newspapers are valu-
able according as they deal with live is
sues and vital experiences, the stock of
information brought by graduates be-
fore they have lived long enough to re-
allze or experience something is of
doubtful Experimentation Trans
cript.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
It Come From Boston. and Must be True

A gentleman in Boston has cat of
the feminine gender, and she has recent
" added five to the inhabitants of his
house. -Four of the kittens were dis
posed of. Recently the cat surprised
her owner by conveying little mouse
that she had captured to her nest and
placing it alongside her own progeny
and now appears to be quite contented.
The cat, kitten and mouse play, eat and
sleep together, and our informant Gan
eye-witness) says there seems to be no
element of discord in that family
Traveller.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02

Everything in connection with the
Southern Exposition is done on a gen.
erous scale For instance, 27,500 col
ored Autographed pictures of the build
ing are being distributed through the
country. Shortly 100000 folders, :"
corresponding somewhat to the railroad
time tables, will be sent to all the Diff
ferent states, together with $4,000 pos
teys.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02

CARES OF LIFR.-As we come to them
they are received, borne with, and passed
over with no more than thought, if we
are in the inioyment of health, but if
suffering with Piles or skin disease of
any kind they magnify hundred fold.
Emil Fischel or F. G. Buerstatte the
Druggists, have DIR. Bosanko's Pile
Remedy which is an absolute cure for
any effection of this kind and is sold at
so oents. 2
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02

The editor of the British Medical
journal has made tour of inspection
in Donegal. Ireland, rs physician, and
found $4,000 people living on cents
worth of Indian meal day. the money
having been sent from the United States,
and being distributed by the parish
priest
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
BARBER SHOP.

gNARL PANGBURN'S Barbershop. in Barnes
Nbl0cll on North Eighth street. Work done in
good taste. Particular attention paid to Ladies
and Children's hair cutting and shampooing. BY
ali means call and see Carl.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02

Mrs. Gladstone, who was described
by Disraeli as without single redeem
ing vice, usually wears a rusty black
silk costume with well-worn boots and
gloves. She avoids fashion that she
may save money for the poor.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
FRED. SEEGER.

OFFERS TO HIS FRIENDS AND THE PUB
~ lie generally, a choice selection OF Fresh
Meats, Salt Pork and Beef Smoked Beef and
the lowest rates. Market on Commercial Street
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02

Homeopathic PHYSICIAN. SURGEON
and AcCoucheur, late resident Physician at
~ Hahuemann Hospital, Chicago, has petman-
entity located at Manitowoc. OIice, on Bdnalo
streets, west of Rands store.
-, tI,,-,. 8 TO A. NJ,
OFklcE Aooi'a' / TO , and Z TO 2. NJ
Diseases of the eye and ear treated
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
WILLIAMS HOUSE.

D. SMITH. PROPRIETOR, CORNER OF
n. Eighth and franklin streets, Manitowoc.
urst-class American Hotel, centrally located,
offers every inducement To the travelling puOllc.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
CuA3LES u0YER-

MERCHANT TAILORING ESTABLISH
w ment, on Sth street, near south end of Bridge.
The tailoring department is complete, and con-
tains large assortment OF fashionable cloths ana
Gert'a furnishing goods constantly on hand
! Please call and examine before purchasing else
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
WIN. NJ. SEEGER,

DFvTrST OFFICE UPSTAIRS IN ANDER-
1 SONS BIock Corner South Eighth and Quay
Streets, Manitowoc, Wis. Prompt attention viii
he Given TO all work entrusted 20 me- apr i-ol
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
9 SANnERSAN

MANUFACTURED AND DEALERIN BOOTS
lNk Shoes, Leather, SC, &c. Shop on Buffalo
Street, near the OF Eighth. Repairing
neatly and promptly executed.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02

WORK STREET, MANIToWOC, WIS, DEAL
I er in Dry Goods, Groceries, Crockery, Fancy
Goods, Glass ware, Boots AID Shoes, Ready made
Clothing, Paper Hangings, Hats, Caps, Toys, Chill
dren Carriages, Live Geese Feathers, BIRD Cages
Kerosene Oh and LAMPS, &C, &C. A share of pub
patronage is solicited.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
NJ. KETTENHOFFEN.

NORTHWESTERN HOUSE, FRANKLIN AND
IN Ninth streets, ManitowOc. Travellers VIII
here find the best Accommodations, Sample rooms
attached.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
F. s. LUHMANN, NJ. D.. ,

PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. OFFICE WITH
4 DH. j. +. PRITCHARD. Hours: TO ~ A. NJ
Il TO l and 10 p. Nj. lmaro
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02

POTATO-BUG POISON,
the best and cheapest at Robinson &
Hinrichs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02

HAsdMooKs of all sizes at Piening &
Fechter's Bookstore,
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
A G, FRASER. NJ. D., G. NJ,

AND SURGEON. OFFICE AT
Residence of Dr.. K. simon, Hancock street,
ar the court house, MauitOwuc, Wis. del5
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
@ G. BARNES. NJ. D..

AND MASTER, CORNER SIXTH
ID and Washington streets, South side. The
hi ghest cash price paid for Barley.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
r. K. PAINE, II. D.,

Dhysician and Surgeon, successor TO Doctor II.
1 Coakley Ohice on ork street, near Eighth,
Manitoyyoc Wisconsin, sep Is
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
WILLIAM RAuR,

TTORNEY AND COUNSELOR AT LAW,
a Ofice, corner OF 9th and quay streets, Man
itoygcs, wisconsin.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
n q. SEDGWICK,

TTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR At LAW,
a o8ice in Torrison's brick block, north end
Sth street bridge, Manitowoc, Wisconsin .oIIec-
tions promptly attended 10.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02

a TTORNEY AND COUNS ELLok Al Law sNa. ::
a Onee in Carus' Block. hrst moor, n u ;ltt aoI.
SECT Ganitcw0c Wiz Collections promptly
attended to.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
NASH & NASH.

A TTORNEYS AND COUNSELORS AT LAW
N Office over First National Bank, Elgnth ot
Collections promptly attended to.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
JOHN p. WICKERT,

NOTARY PUBLIC, LAND & LOAN AGE AGE Nj Il
~ Rudolphs Block, Corner South ElgH9In 9l,sI stiiu
franklin Streets, Manitowoc, Wis JunoL
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-08-02
&, g. W T. TURNER.
]. d. MARKHAM,

TrORNEYS At Law, OFFICE ON 6FH
| Sueet. South side, over hghlers store, Man
woo, Wisconsin.