davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30
A Misunderstanding,

Mr.. o'Hagan has sheep rancho on tho Me.
dina. A stranger drove up to the place the
other day. The stranger had broken some
part OF his wagon, and wanted to borrow a
monkey wrench. When the stranger shouted
"Hello" Mrs. O'Hagan (Mr. O'Hagan being
from home) came out TO the fence.
"Wfe gents. Dot vas O fine morning to-day,
IL vas q monkey wrench wanted 10 ind, und
dose people at dot house pelow dold me al.
ready dot you Keeps monkey wrench"
"Holy Moses Kape monkey ranchi Ye
dirty spalpeen. Ye miserable low-llfed blag-
gard 10 be accusin a dacent woman OF kapin'
an establishment ay that character. A monkey
ranch is IL yer lookin' for. I'm thinkln from
yer looks that that's about the kind av ranch
you would feel at home In. Get out av here,
an II ye don't scatter dirt behind ye purity
d-d quick its an illlphant ranch ven be
thinkin' ye have struck, an that the flllphants
are stampadin' over yer ugly carcass
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30

TODAY the past is blended with the
present, and memory places its flowers of
affection upon the graves of the heroes who
gave their lives to their country. The dead
live again, and the living feel their near
ness with tender emotion between the two
extremes Of life and death. The dead live
again, and will forever live, for life given
in devotion to country's cause is not
death. The supernatural heroism which
claims it merely calls it to an existence
more perfect and complete than earthly at
mosphere can comprehend or control.
The tears that tremble like the limpid
drops of dew above the garlands gracing
our soldiers graves are more Of pride than
of grief, more of honor's tribute than of
sorrow. They died that nation might
live, and, dying, live again perpstuated
throughout all time in the quickened heart
of an united people.
This is a Sabbath day replete with peace
and goodwill toward all men, 1t is day
in which the North and South, the East
and the West file through the dawn of the
Gray beneath the clear sky of the Blue to
one common communion table and there
partake of the sacrament of mutual love,
forgivipg and forgetfulness.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30
"PreIfnninary."

Wall Street Daily News.
Last fall a narrow-guage road, twenty-five
miles long, was planned and company or
ganized In Wisconsin, and au Eastern man
who scented chance for profitable invest.
ment called upon the president TO make some
inquiries.
"How Is the new line getting on 2" he asked,
after some general conversation.
''Splendidly. We have the right OF way for
the first five miles, and have taken steps to
gobble It for the other seventeen"
"How much stock have you issued?'
"$2O0,0OO.
'And how much has been sold?"
swell, you see, 1t has all been preliminary
thus far. We have sold enough stock to buy
blue uniforms for all the general officers, fur
nish up several rooms with mahogany desks
and moqueite carpets, and as soon as we can
work on SUFFICIENT TO purchase horses aud
carriages for president, secretary and treas
urer, and furnish the superintendent with a
yacht, we shall begin the real serious work OF
building up grand trunk line.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30

Int sDIpmenls from tho mines OF tho Oum-
berland coal region for the week ending Sat
urday, May 26, were 52,5S2 tons, and for the
year 70 that date S37, ,d21 tons, an Increase OF
spending period OF 1882. The coal was shipped
as follows; To Baltimore and Ohio Railroad
and local points-week, 24,577 tons; year,
b14,blO tons; Increase over last year, 1Oi ,o69
tons. To Chesapeake and Ohio Canal-week,
1902 toms; year, 164,529 tons; increase
over last year, 150069 tons. To Pennsylvania
tons; increase over last year, S3,9Oi tons.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30

GENERAL JOHN S. MARMADUKE, of Mis-
souri,, is stopping at the Metropolitan
Hotel. General Marmaduke is candidate
for the Democratic nomination for Gov
ernor of Missouri. The General is plain,
common-sense, practical man. When the
war ended he set about to get an Office and
succeeded pretty well. He has been Rail-
road Commissioner for six years and is now
willing to be Governor for four years. OF
course he is practical man.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30
Carried His Hammer.


Two men were standing at tho Ktmball
House bar when one OF the FOUNDERS came in
for drink. As he departed, one OF the men
exclaimed:
''Ceear, what a nosel Did you see itl''
"Whose nose?"
"That fellow who just went out-he's got a
nose on him like a beetr
"Thats what he Isl" sententlously re.
marked the barkeeper
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30

THERE seems to be a contest between the
Associated Press agents at the different
ends of the line as to who can tell the most
unreasonable lie. One dispatches about the
recent election in Virginia and the other
about General Crook. The truth is, neither
knows what he is talking about.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30

THE Atlanta Constitution says the Fed
eral Capital is running itself just now. The
President, the Cabinet and the Heads of
Departments are almost all junketing. If
Congress would only take the hint and leg
islate those officers out of existence alto
gether, the country would feel grateful.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30
A Warming to MonopoIists.

Times are getting brisk In Illinois when the
ray TO defend the rights OF their striking hus-
bands and prevent the "miserable wretches," /"
who would work for the starvation wages OF.
Iered Dy me monopolists, taking the bread
children. We tell these bloated monopolists
that the time is coming, II It has not come,
when they must treat the men who make their
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30
Presidential Candidates.


1t is somewhat early to talk about President
ial candidates, but after a close and careful
survey Of the field we believe that Mcdonald
can be presented to the country. Such men
as these two are can stand the test OF being
named ahead Of time. Their public services
need have no fear Of their being made less in
public opinion despite the assaults of those
who attack them because they fear their
strength. There is no active man without
enemies.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30

A VIRGINIA paper, referring to Jay
Gould's trip through Texas, says; 1--WE ad-
wise the railroad companies to have the
spikes in their rails doubled and trust
worthy guard set to watch their roads A
railroad burglar is at large
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30
LANGUOR AND LAssIrUDE.

so COMMON IN THE SPRING, INDICATE A
TORPID CONDITION OF THE LIVER AND
A SLUGGISH CIRCULATION OF THE LIFE
GIVING FLUIDS. A TEASPoONFUL OF
TARRANT' 3 sBLTzER APERIENT IN A GLASS
OF WATER HALF AN HOUR BEFORE
BREAKFAST WILL GENTLY RELIEvEAND
REGULATE THE LIVER, QUICKEN AND
PURIFY THE CIRCULATION, AND IMPART
NEW LIFE AND VIGOR TO EVERY FUNC-
TIoN OF THE BODY. ALL DRUGGISTS
HAVE 1T.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30
Wednesday, May 80, 1888.

A MAN who is fool enough to be victim
ized in this day and age by sharps on the
old and worn-out trick, "My mothers
wedding-ring," ought to be sent to the
lunatic asylum.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30

In 1876 the nation was attempting 10 make
ils paper currency as good as gold. In 1885
Jaines Therp, No. S1S + street northwest, sells
at Wholesale and retail the dnest winSs and
best liquors in the market.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30
Thc Greatest EGort OF HIS LIE.

s'Gath" the other day accomplished the
sigreatest effort OF his llfe." 1t consisted 10
picking himself up and clapping a raw beef
s.eak over hts eye after vigorous Interview
with an actor whose sister he had criticised a
little TOO freely.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30
"AIderney Dairy Wagons.,,

fresh Aiderpey putter, cnurnea every morn
Ing and delivered in "a ID 'Ward" prints, doc.
per ib. Also cottage cheese, butteYmilk and
eUeet MIX, sc per at. Cream, 16c. per pint.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30

An advertisement OF three lines under the
head Of for rent, for sale, wanted, lost aud
found or personal, can be inserted IN THE
EyHNIk0 CRITIC three times for 25 cents.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30

ELM GROVE, N. o.-Dr. g. N. Robertson says:
u prescribe Browne Iron Bitters aud mud It
all 1t Is recommended TO be-"
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30

THE whisky manufacturers have Matched a
scheme by which they hope TO avoid for three
years longer the payment OF the whisky tax.
1t IS nothing less than the shipment OF whisky
IN tank cars, similar 10 those USED Tor the
and its return as imported whisky without so
much as unloading II on the Canadian soil at
ALL All that Is necessary to secure the success
OF this brilliant idea Is the cooperation of the
Treasury Department in this scheme to keep
Its Golfers empty. The Secretary very gravely
referred the proposition TO the Attorney-Gen-
eral for his opinion. Daily Statesman.
The opinion of this official will depend
somewhat on the amount Of the article he
has ON hand at the time he writes his opin-
ion.
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30

Dress According to Your Taste.
Buy your clothing OF Eiseman Bros, the
most prominent clothiers and tatlors, corner
Seventh and E,
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30
EXCURSIONS.

TIoR CHARTER -sIDE.wHEEL SALOON
~ steamer; capacity, $50 passengers; speed, y
knots. Apply TO q. W. Ridley, Seventh-street
wharf. my2i II
Hoi FOR GREAT TAILS AND CABIN
IL John Bridge-The steam Packet Excelsior
Will Will make her regular trips to the above
places Sunday, Tuesday and Friday. Leave
High at and canal. Fare 50cents round.trip. For
charters apply at the boat or to George webster, :,
No. lila 4tb 81. n. w. myi-tf
The Evening critic., 1883-05-30

BOYS suits at Strauss 4 Marks.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26
Mexican War Pensions.

A bill of six sections, granting
pensions to certain soldiers and
sailors of the Mexican war
and others, has been introduced into
Congress by Senator Williams Of
Kentucky. Its leading provisions are
contained in the first two sections,
which give eight dollars a month,
"during their natural lives" to all
surviving officers and enlisted men,
including militia and volunteers, of
the military and naval services of the
United States, who served sixty days
in the war of 1916 and 1S47 with
Mexico, or thirty days in the Creek
war of 1885 and 1886, the Seminole
war from 1885 to 1858, or the Black
Hawk war of 1882, and, further, TO
the surviving widows of such officers
and enlisted men if not remarked.
Is Congress prepared to adopt this
principle of comforting life pensions
for sheer service, without wounds or
disability of any kind g? Here IL will
be observed that in some cases only
two months and in others only one
month of service is required for eligi-
bility to a gratuity of 500 year.
Officers and men mentioned in reso-
luton of Congress need not have been
sixty days in service to secure pen
sion. Under this act, men who never
reached the scene of hostilties could
be pentioned for life. Rich men, like
Grant, and millionaires who perform
cd only nominal service and were
never under fire, could also become
pensioners of the Government.
Out of all the ways in which men
may do their duty to the country or
be of use to it, why should brief mil
itary service alone be selected for re-
ward by lifelong pensions2 Disability
incurred through wounds or disease
rests on a distinct principle, namely,
the real or supposed disadvantage of
the injured soldier during his subse-
quent civil career. But why should
n man who has served a month or
two, without illness or injury, be made
a pensioner after the lapse Of quar-
ter of a century? Above all, what
reasonable claim has his surviving
widow to be made Government PEN
sioner?
IF the Black Hawk and Mexican
veterans are thus rewarded, how many
years will elapse before cry is heard
for equal gratuities to all survivors
and all widows of survivors of the
millions of soldiers who served the
Government more than thirty or six
ty days in the war for the Union? p
N. Y. Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26
Wednesday, December rs, 1888.
Carlisle and Randall.

The New York Sun can not under
stand what difference there is between
Carlisle and Randall on the tariff
question. Randalls platform is a
tariff with incidental protection, while
Carlisle believes that the tariff can
be reduced and is willing the manu-
facturer should have the benefit OF
the tariff as far it goes. In the be-
liefs of the two men there is appa-
rently not much difference, but in the
manner in which they would 60 to
work to reduce the tariff, there is a
vast difference.
Randall believes in first removing
the internal revenue tax. The amount
of tax collected by the internal rev.
enue, during the year ending June
30th, 1883, was s144, 553, 344.86. The
next year, on account of some re-
duction in the internal taxes, the re-
ceipts are estimated at $120,000,000.
The greater part of the internal tax
is raised on whisky and other liquors
If Randalls plan was followed, the
result would be that not only would
the present high tariff tax have to be
retained on woolens, sugar, rice,
leather, crockery, and other necessary
articles, but the probability is that
the tariff tax on necessary articles
would have to be raised still higher
in order to pay the national expenses.
On the other hand, the Carlisle plan
of reducing taxes, is to reduce the
tariff tax on the necessaries of life
and let tax remain on whisky and
other liquors, and that is the Demo
cratic platform on which we believe
the party will be successful at the
coming Presidential battle.
On the tariff question the New
York Sun does not shine with its
usual brightness. It's idea of tariff
for revenue only, is to put tax on
tea and n few other necessaries Of
life, but it is not the tariff for revenue
that the Democratic party indorses.
The Democratic policy is to make all
the imported manufactured goods pay
their fair share of the national ex-
penses. If the tariff is removed en-
tirely on any article, it will be on
raw materials.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26
M A II IL i L ID ,

In this city, on May 20, 1883, by Rev. I. II. Rid
dick, John o. Mathews and Miss Susie wingrove,
all Of Alpene. 645wl
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

A person who wishes his family to
keep posted on what is going on in
Alpena, in Michigan, and in the
world, can not invest the small sum
of 1926 to better advantage.
In these progressive times a man
is obliged to keep posted on what is
going on, and we offer him first
class chance, at very small expense,
of doing so. No man who has the
welfare of his family at heart can re-
fuse to invest such a small sum for
their advantage.
The FREQ Press is one of the best
weekly newspapers in the United
States. 1t has circulation in Eng
land of over 10000 copies.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26
One or 0'DOnnell's Counsel Relates the
True Motive for the Killing.
From the Chicago Ne

from The ChichBo NeWs.
The following extract from letter
written by one of O'Donnell's coun-
sci will be read with interest by
readers of the Daily News. In con-
nection with the trial there are facts
given which have NOT heretofore been
published:
AT last the truth may be told of
the killing of James Carey. II was
not to be told so long as shadow of
a chance remained to prevent the sacri-
fec of patriots life for that Of the
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

Why throw away so much hard-earned
money trying worthless medicines, when
for 30 cents q remedy can he procured
that will cure coughs, colds, sore lungs,
and croupi Give 1t trial. Adamson's
Balsam will do 1t. Trial bottles 10 cents.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26
Pay Your Taxes.

Notice is hereby given that will be In my Office
during the month OF December, for the purpose Of
receiving taxes ON the State and County Roll for
1888, and ON all taxes paid during tho month of
December fee Of one per cent will be added 10 the
original and on all taxes Remaining unpaid on
the first Of January, 1884, fec Of four per cent,
s. wEsTRoPE.
City Treasurer.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26
Healthy PeopIe Sometitnes Laugh

At the suengs dyppc and that thsr pans and dresse
imaginary. This for cruelty but cruelty all the
who has crooked foot wounded hand sghess
calls forth sympathy by the exhibition the detective member. If the
dpeptcs sufferers stomach could be placed exhibition the Of
his distress would be apparent
The with troublesome stomach quite rs much
the with broken leg but is far less likely receive sympathy
Sympathy good for sufferers, But BrOasS Iou
By better for strikes the root these troubles and dis
Disappointed dypepcs weary of having tried experiments
seeking will do well to make fair trial of BoWS Iron B,S
and report the result That this weted family medicine will thus dmn
sh the quantity of human suffering established fact
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26
ALPENA TOWNSHIP
Taxpayers Take Notice

will be at my Office at my home at Long Lake,
In the township OF Alpena, on every Friday during
the month Of December 1885, for the purpose Of re-
ceying all taxes that may be paid in said township
during said month of December, 1888.
JAS. A. MCDONALD,
Treas. Alpena Township.
Oct. \, 1899. 635Wi2
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26
NOTICE.

Notice Ia hereby given that will be at my Office
in said township, each Friday during the month Of
December, 1883, for the purpose of receiving all
taxes from parties who desire 20 pay their taxes
FRANCIS @. BOWLING,
$50 Treasurer township Maple Ridge.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

was going to take, and then, without
concealment of purpose or motive,
show that there was no spot on which
an Irish informer would be safe.
O'Donnell became nervous and ex-
cited. In reckless hope of calming
himself he drank, the morning of the
fatal day, glass of whisky. 1t
robbed him of selfcontrol. He was
not intoxicated, but his discretion was
gone. Finding himself suddenly
alone with Carey and his travelling
companion he could not resist the de-
sire to kill him at once. Carey, with
lightning quickness, perceived his
danger. The two Irishmen glowered
at each other. Carey Kissed: "Do
you know me?" O'Donnell Kissed
back: II do. You are Carey the in
former. To hell with you" The
bullet sped with the words, and the
deed was done. Carey clutched his
own revolver, but it was two late.
O'Donnell discharged second shot
and a third to make sure of his work,
and Carey rolled to the deck. No
human eyes saw the encounter except
O'Donnell's companion, who threw
her arms around him and filed the
ship with her cries. He had weakly
told her that morning bis determine
ton to kill Carey and that he would
be hanged for il. When Mrs. Carey
reached the scene O'Donnell said to
The Rock Island Argus., 1883-09-13
RAILROADIsTIC.

1t seems that the cut on Council Bluffs
passenger rates will not seriously affect
business between here and that point.
Both the Wabash and st. Paul roads are
out of the Iowa pool, and feel at liberty
to sell as low as they care to, without re-
gard for the Burlington, Rock Island or
Northwestern roads, which pool their
business. The three lines last mentioned
declare positively that they will maintain
rates; that the two other lines cannot hurt
them any, as they are new and doing their
utmost to establish travel Meanwhile
the st. Paul and Wabash are quietly cut
ting the rate, the former charging $3.50
and the latter $3.50. Thus Gar the cut
has attracted but very little attention
among travelling people.
Mr.. E. ST. John. general passenger and
ticket agent of the Rock Island road, il
expected to return home from California
by Oct. 1.
Mr.. T. j. Potter, general manager OF
the Burlington road, started for California
Tuesday, to attend the meeting of the
California freight pool. to be held in San
Francisco, September 90. The meeting
promises to be an important one, as the
per centages of the pool are to be re-
vised,
The Rock Island Argus., 1883-09-13
BASE BALL.

The supervisors did not come to time
yesterday afternoon, and the umpire de
clared the game in favor of the book
keepers 80 the sheriff says.
Later-1t is announced that the super
visors have got on their high horse, and
will play the bookkeepers at four O'Clock
this afternoon, rain or shine. If some OF
the gentlemen from the country hit the
ball they will knock the cover off it.
Several balls should be taken out in case
of an emergency.
There is some talk of organizing a
base ball association for next year in this
city when rattling nine will be gotten
up. and honors will be contested for IN
the northwestern league. There is nc
reason why Rock island shonld not have
a good base ball nine next year. The
sport is becoming popular, and is of the
most interesting kind By the generosity
of Mr.. Bailey Davenport, the best ot
grounds have been secured, which are
easy of access and every way desirable.
1t is said that game has been arranged
for Saturday afternoon between the High
school nine and the bookkeepers. Rock
Island is bound to keep the bal" rolling
The Rock Island Argus., 1883-09-13
sr Iou1s FAIR.

The twenty.third annual fair of the ST.
Louis Agricultural and Mechanical associ
alton will begin Monday, Oct. 1, and
close Saturday evening, Oct. 8. This
fair win be the grandest thing of the kind
vet given, and the attractive features it
embraces are manifold and of a brilliant
character. The illuminations viii be
gorgeous during the evening exercises,
and will surpass anything of the kind ever
before witnessed On Tuesday evening,
Oct. I'd, will occur the parade of the
Yelled Prophets, which will be scene of
sparkling magnifcence. Wednesday is
set apart for fair day when the
agricultural and mechanical depart
ments can be viewed. On Thursday
light the Trades procession will be
over three miles in length, and one of the
principal features of the week. Friday
night the Yelled Prophets" car be seen
in tableau. which will be followed by a
grand ball
The next question is how to get to ST.
Louis and witness the marvellous exhibi-
tion. The ever popular Chicago, Bur
lington & Quincy road. always equal to
the occasion. has prepared to carry pas
sengers to and from St. Louis at surpris
ingly low rates, SO that all will have an
opportunity TO attend, The trains lesv-
ing Rock Island during fair week, will
be supplied with complete section OF
sleepers. At Monmouth and Vermont
two more sections will be added. thus
giving travellers a good nights rest
Orders for berths should be sent in i'm
mediately to Agent Mack, who will sec
that every one has good accommoda
tions, if he is notified in due season.
The Rock Island Argus., 1883-09-13
MARKET NEYIEW.

The closing quotations today from
Chicago were: October wheat, 9S; No
vember. $100; December, Sl00s. Sep
tember corn, 51s; October, 51B November
513. October oats, 27a; November 2s4
September pork, 81 324; October, $11.
273; November. $1OS2 September lard
Sc 223; October 1927; November, Sc. 80
Hog receipts 15,O00 Yesterdays quo
tations were: October wheat, 97s
November 994; September corn, SIT; DC,
tober 514; November sig; year 40b
September oats. 81; October 274. Sep
tember pork, $11,82; November s11,25
September lard, $50 Hogs. receipts
$4,000; light So, 80 to Sc; mixed 81, 90 to
s5,1 heavy s5, 10 to S5.55.
Today's sales on market square were
5 loads of oats at a8 cents; Z loads o
potatoes at 80 to So cents; loads of hay
at IS to 80; load of soft coal at II
cents, aud two loads OF corn at 25 cents