Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1883-09-14
VII AND 1IuNoR.
Il is inaccurate 10 say thu. mar
leads Il bad life. II * The bad i,fc thai
leads the man.

= Al Is INACCURATE 10 say iDiy Hol
: leads n bad life. II * The bad itfc tina
= leads the man.
:. A girl has been arrested wiriie dis
r. r,.i,cd as an old womau. lie OLE
woman disguised rs i "r. Is s;lii a
/, large.
5 How strange Is life. Before mar
t riagc the girl PULLS the i~o9i over /;
+, man eyes. After marriaee she pull:
; it off his head.
Medical men now pronounc, agains
Q covering the walls with paper. 1t i;
quite evident that this hcrctofor;: uscfu
article must speedily 20 10 the wall.
Modern song of the sii.r.: rip, rip,
r.p, band and e,Issct and seam. Rip,
rip. rip: confound tie sewing ma
chine.
Il IS stated that ncarir four hundred
person, were killed bv wind in this
country last year. and yet thousands OF
men are Wiling 10 risk their lies by
getting elected To congress.
A little girl on Long Island offered u
rttiie. remarkable pravsr a few nights
AFRO. wien she said: - do thank Thee.
God. for al my blessings. and III! do IS
much for Won some time.
Asl; friend for 50 through II tele-
phone and he will say. Il cannot I'M
dcrstand. Come here 1T 8 o'clock. :"
AT ) O'Clock the man who could not
understand will be somewhere els.
A Philadelphia editor. after long do
nestle experience, concludes that Nor
mons can support ten or fifteen wives
apiece, because they don't keep ser
want girl.
Good morning. Mr.. Smith; how are
you?n Nod ad all well. ,hag you.
I've fearful code id by head ITS a
strange thing about colds, isn't it,"
How do you bcad2" why, they al
ways settle i'll the weakest place"
A satisfactory answer: Barter
Dear me, your boards very strong:
how often do you shave?' Van Jboom
Dutch mariner) -"Dree times week
effery day bot Sondai>: ten l shaifes
effery tay.'
A young miss OF sixteen asks what is
the proper thing for her to do when she
is serenaded by Z party of gentlemen
at late hour. We are glad to be able
TO answer this question. Steal softly
downstairs and unite the dog.
Sara Bernharlt SAYS in her book that
she was not pretty rs 4 girl. 1t is too
late to remedy the defect now: but Sa-
rah can console herself with the retiec-
ton that If she lives twenty years loEg-
-l,. will lip q ,,r.tf,- old woman
"Yeih,' said tie dude at Watch Hill,
II. l.. Il came here because they said
the British landed here. But that
was in 1872" said 4 bystander. "Yeth,"
said the dude. $50 I've found out, and
I'm leaving to-day.
Baron Nor,ienskjold, while in Iceland
discovered Il prehistoric map OF that
island. together with portions of Green
land, England AMI Scotland. 1t is sup
posed 10 have belonged to an anc:en.
dynamite League.
A ST. Louis LAWYER caught = man in
his house the oihcc night and ;,cld him
until the police came. The arrested
THINKS that the common cour-
tesy prevailing among thieves should
I8siNt u " itt EllA ~
Never plant tree without consider
ing how mucl space it will require fif-
tx wears hence. Press Just so. And
never get married without considering
how many dollars worth OF shoes half |
= dozen children can wear out in .
month. !
I'm sorter 'spicious bout book sense.
Real old boss sense is the kind of sense |
TO have, an eff 4 persons rot the boss
sense he don t need the book larnin',
an eff he hain't got the boss sense he
can take book Iarnin' to any great
shakes. '--irkanSatc Tfureicr
Sam, said Il white man. '-you are
looking mighty p.easant-you're al
ways looking pleasant. Its cause
Use happy. boss Why. Sam, VIVA.
have you got 20 make YOU happy
Boss Use happy cause rse alive y
Darky's DeiiGht.
''Her face. writes Mr. Richard A
Proctor. tells of remote youth-a
inc ot fiery activity. Look ut her
eatufe>. streaked. ringed and wrink-
ed; they tell lis of centuries of distur-
'ance." Mr.. Proctor refers to that
AIDED old beauty, the moon.
The craze on electrical study is be-
inning to bear fruit: ..Arc you the
onGuctor:?" asked = lad on an excur-
ion train. Il am replied the cour-
eous official. land my name is Wood"
Oh. tina, can be. said the boy, ''fOr
rood Is 4 n0n-conductor. II
Tie unkindcst cut of all: Mr.. Ira
1la Ito barber, after ENJOYING hair
ut and his first shave and receiving his
check IL think you've made :
listake. Isn't 4 shave 20 centsa9" 4.
Barber (deprecatinglv)-"Reallv, 1
ouidn't think of charging YOU for that,
III"
\ Boston religious weekly feelinsly ,
sks: Why do flies bite so much
'orse in church than anywhere else?" !
his is Il difficult conundrum: but it ,
lay be that 4 man is harder to keep
wake in church-in some churches. mt
anywhere else.-Norris-
,UW Herald.
Charles. = said Mr.. Mundane, "you .
annot hope to succeed in the way you
re going. You should take advantage
Your opportunities" Father" re-
lied the young man, his breast heaving
18th emotion. Il hope l am too much {
gentleman to take advantage of any '
ling"
y coiored barber on the Hudson riv- {
:. who was badly shot in the thigh by i
dusky maiden because he insisted on |
utting off the marriage day until Dc +
'ber. said lie didn' care so much about
eng shot. but that il spoiled his new r
ouScrS. !
Rev. Mr.. Beecher says lie does not c
elieve the story of the fall of Adam. I
erhaps he has arrived ut this conclu- h
on from the fact that there were no +