National Republican., 1883-10-19
ENvol

ENvoI
Poets that "note" "mark." "ween," and "trow;'
The summer soon gives up tho ghost
The circus is Il fleeing show.
There are no quail on last years toast
II. X. AttnkGtrfck.
THE saddest days of all the years: When
the leaves begin to burn.
SON of Bret Harte is said to be playing
minor parts under Dion Boucioaults tuition In
California.
Six thousand tourists have visited the yell
lowstone purk since it was opened to travel in
March last.
PROF. WILLIAM DENTON geologist, intends
to lecture. II has been given out that he was do
stroyed by the Java earthquake.
THE man who sighed for "neat little cot
by the sea- was not satisfied with one put up in
tho billiard table ofa Newport hotel.
BECAUSE man stands at the head of the
bar in his town it does not follow that he Is tho
bar tender He may be candidate for congress.
ONLY men of original ideas can mako
speech. One cannot get up and make u speech
that some one else has made. 1t 10 not his make.
"DEAR, dear America" gushed Nilsson to
n reporter on landing in New York. 81 thiuk
shalt never leave it again." What is the lady
| Offering us?
NONE Of the property distributing COM
munists clamor for equal distribution of
brains, aud yet one scheme would be as reasona-
| bic and just us the other.
THE Dakota mission conference of the
Methodist church takes in all that part of south
Dakota lying east of the Missouri river and south
OF the ioty-sixth parallel.
A MAN never knows what he may run
into when he goes out OF politics. 1t may De bust
ness with borrowed capital, or 1t may be jail
with nothing lut experience. =.
Miss c. L. CLEVELAND, tho Woman's
Christian union representative i'll dakota, is conf
dent that prohibition will bo incorporated in tho
constitution OF South Dakota.
BY interviewing cistern builders it has been
discovered that the large cistern holds more water
than the smaller one when 1t is full. When both
are empty there is no difference.
MANoHEsTER, England isn't the kind of
commercial town for y. Wide TO lecture in A
special cable dispatch gays he was a dead failure
| and most of tho audience walked out.
STANDING wheat was cut, tho wheat ground
into flour, made into batter, and handed out In the
| form of grlddle cakes, in exactly three minutes
aud fitly-hve seconds, at Carrollton, Mo.
MOODY and sankoy are meeting with con-
siderable difficulty in holding their meetings in
Limerick. Large crowds have attempted to break
up the meetings. but have thus far failed.
THE annual interest on the debt of the
Brooklyn bridge is stated to be SThO,OO0. AT pre-
sent, the net earnings are not over $4,000 year
Where the 100000 will come from remains to be
| seen
LIBRARIAN SPoFFoRD and Proctor Knott
are writing work on wit and humor. Knott
should insert in his where's Duluth" In view of
later Developments 1t Is the most boomerangly
witty thing of the day.
IT is q blessed thing to live in o country
where the humblest person can call the president
| Il dude and an unprincplcd rascal. 1t is freedom.
When the king of Spain is insulted the whoe
Kingdom must be disturbed.
MAINE law forbids hunting deer with dogs,
and limits the number that one person may shoot
to three. Maine also has liquor law which un-
dertakts to limit a man i'll his drinks, and keep
him from going to the dogs
EX-MINIsTER SCHENcK is made to say in
Life: "Wil you please state that Miss Anderson
is not the only dignihed American l, too, have
in my day refused to see the Prince OF Wales al
though ut the time held three jacks"
The chief of police of Buffalo defines sus-
picious person as "a man standing OH the street
corner with his hands in his pockets" II he were
standing in a crowd with his hands in some other
mans pocket, the chief would not notice him.
AN Albany undertaken has sent out n circu-
lar 10 the people of that city informing them that
he keeps nice stock of cofins and inviting them
to call If they want anything in his line He
says "ths is business with me, as IL may be with
YOU"
IT is said the insulting conduct of the Paris
mob on the occasion of King Alfouso's visit was
due chiefly to the kings previous acceptance from
Prince Bismarck of the colonelcy of regiment of
Uhlans. The Uhlan troops managed during
the Franco Prussian war to make themselves par
ticularly hateful to the French people. Why a
king should want to be u Colonel is incompre-
hensible, unless ono is better treated in u bar
room.
THE New York Tribune seizes "Peck's Bad
Boy" by the scruff of the neck and the slack of his
trousers and chucks him into the horse pond
where he belongs: "The boy Ia hideously preco.
cious and vulgar, full of slang and profanity, and
rs ready with jeers at churches and Sunday schools
as he is with Jokes at his fathers drunken habits
In word, he is a most disgusting little animal,
and the fact that such books have ready sale is
, in itself curious feature of American life, and
, not pleasing one.
jim LUNG, a wealthy Salt Lake Chinaman,
has petitioned the city council to colonize the
Chinese in that city at convenient place Just
. outside the city limits There is great indigna-
ton among the latter III consequence. One of
+ them said TO reporter: "Me no like him. Jim
, Lung Chinese banker and diam rascal He no
s scratch name Of sleet he glo up. Chinese must
glo out town, he no make money, clost too muchee
to take close out; we do washee anybody wantee
. he no washee he blad boy allie same Mclean
! man."
A MAN who was convicted of theft and sem
| fenced to state prison In Philadelphia tho othev
, day astonished tho judge by making these pointed
f remarks in court: "I worked three years in youc
state prison making shoes, and know as much
l about making shoes us do about watches. They
+ taught me to be dishonest, My principal work
+, was TO paste leather and pasteboard together to
: make thick sole to impose on the public, The
J man who had the contract was a Christian, a
member of tho church, and at the time called
his attention to the pastehoard business he was
. foreman of the grand jury"
I THE London Netcs tolls good story Of two
;, well known Americans who were accustomed 70
!, visit Europe In May, and had competed with each
y other for the best berhs in the Germanic or Brit
annie. A having been done by B two years in
succession, thought he would be all right in 1884.
; Accordingly in March last he wrote, engaging the
captains room and three OF the best state rooms
for the first voyage of the Germanc in May next