Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-09-06
prTyI AND POINT.



The celery of man, VINO is aiways
waiting for things TO turnip is not very
large.
The first time you see two women
kissing each other just 10 ice how quick
they let so.
A CALIFORNIA MN choked himself
to death with a tape-measure The
Corcner's verdict was that he Giad By
inches.
SOME people apparently ere 50 afraid
OF Intoxicating liquors that they would
not lave a drop in THEN house A key
of good old Bourbon entertains the
same feeling toward them. 1t would be
sure to run at their approach.-Carl
Pretyeps Weekly.
"Do YOU know" said Mrs. Snively
who was reading newspaper, Charles.
that no less than $3.50, 100000 was paiG
out last year for liquor alone?" "Gooc
gracious! You don't say SO? What
lot of money fellow could save if he
never got thirsty" -TerGs Sitings.
AN exchange mentions that number
of British-loving young men about towr
are starving themselves 30 death ON huge
mutton chops because "they are so En-
glish, you know" This suggests the
conundrum why donkey is so migrate
full when kindly treated. Because he is
an ass!
A wELL-KNowN Austin inebriate ap
preached a gentleman and stated tina
he would not refuse an invitation tt
take something. "PsEaw, good whisky
is thrown away On you" "You have
got it mixed, Colonel, good whisky il
not thrown away on ne, but I have
thrown myself away ON good whisky
TEXAS SJt5aags.
A SAILOR who had fallen overheard
and was speedily interviewed by .
shark, cried out 60 his enemy: "Hav,
friend" replied the shark, "a man who
keeps himself above water is of no u.s.
to me-" Moral. The man who fall
overheard in business can expect II
favors of the Sheriff.
THE LOVERS CoNvERsA TIoN.
"How's your father?" came the whisper,
Bashful Ned the silence breaking;
20 he's nicely" Annie mnrmured,
Smiling the question taking.
Conversation tagged moment;
Hopeless Ned essayed another;
Annie, I-T-then a coughing,
And the question-"How's your mother?
"Mother o she's doing finely!"
: Fleeing fast was all forbearance,
! When, in low, despairing acc ents
/ Came the climax, How IS your parentsl'
SBEG pardon" said A, @but could
you pay that S. you borrowed las
month ?" "What!" exclaimed 3, "haven'
I paid that yet? Deari dearl Tn
always forgetting such things" Eyes,
replied A, "you are always for getting
but seldom, if ever, for paying. ma,
have been for giving heretofore; but !
can't forgive man more than sixteel
times for the same offense."
"Do YOU know the prisoner? asked
Judge of witness. eyes, sir, I do;
know him Intimately; he and I were il
bank together at the same time.
"Ah, when was that?" was the question
of shrewd lawyer, who was counse
for the prisoner swell, as near as ;
can remember, it was five years ago, ant
about o'clock in the morning; none
the bank officers were present at tho
time" The witness was speedily ex
cused.
NEGRO CAMPAIGNING SONG.
Ole sister Mary drapped her pride,
An all at once got sanctified,
An when she fell down for ter pray,
She TUX up wings and few away.
Oh, take off your coat pc sinner man.
An pray ter de Lawd as fast as We can
Ole sister Mary, when she riz,
Shuck her leg at the rheumatic,
An flew way ober the turnip patch,
On her way ter lift de heavenly latch
oh, get on de groun', 20 sinner man,
An made move ter iipe de- ban.
Ole brudder Ike was full 90 sin
An at de Lawd would stan an Ern,
But de debil grabbed him wild a hook
An down below wild him he look.
oh, role in de san, sinful chilo,
An take from yer soul de debiis bile.
-Arkaasa1u Traveller.