Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1883-06-28
LOVE AND MATRIMOEY.
Colonel DOMAIN Repels the Base In
situation that BE is About to
Take Unto Himself q
Mexican Wife.
He Will stand by the Large Crop
of Old Maids COmingO on In
His Own Country, If IL
Takes all Summer.
From the St. Louis Spectator.
FARao DAKoTA ,June /


that the printer does not henceforth
put an sc" after the 81" in that word)
paper of June 2, find this para
graphic startler, condensing a whole
earthquake in ten lines:
Colonel p. Donan, of Dakota, will
pass through here in a short time to
Mexico. 1t is reported that he is to
be married before long to q young
Mexican girl, the daughter OF the
Governor of one of the MexicanStates,
and the owner of one of the richest
and most famous Of the old Spanish
silver mines-a young girl, beautiful,
accomplished, and rich as queen, the
only daughter and the only child of
one of the richest men in Mexico
speaking three languages huently, with
voice like nightingale, and singing
divinely."
So, | am to be married am II You
are going to marry me of, are your
How kind of you to do for me what l
never could do for myself | had be-
gun to think, perhaps it was time.
From my reserved seat on top of
barbed wire fence, / have been watch.
ing the procession good while. Day
after day, and week after week, until
the weeks have heightened into
months, and the months into years, |
have looked on at humanity's strange
wedding march. 1t is the old, old
story. Leaf by leaf the roses fall.
Yelp by yelp young cherubs bawl.
One by one CHESTS cross the river, two
by two are padded Ger, and the white
robed angel boatmen bear them to the
blissful shore. The trap springs, and
another victim is caught. The miu-
isterial larist is thrown, and another
hapless pumpkin is writhing and
dancing on the airy nothingness
of honey. mOonatic delights-and
the honeymoon is made of
greenest green cheese. One by one |
have seen my boonest companions pass,
ever passing, away to that dread
bourne whence no voyager returns,
save through Chicago divorce suit,
or the expenses of 6rst-clsss funeral.
At present rates, the jeremiad of the
last dogfennel blossom of summer will
soon be mine: "All my blooming asso-
ciates are faded and gone" to h-appi>
ness of the connubialistic type. A
few years since noble band OF hand
some and high-aspiring friends stood
around me-fresh. bright, verdant
young plants. The matrimonial
simeon has swept over the plain, and
where are they now? Smitten, blasted,
cut down like the grass of the field,
which to-day is and tomorrow is made
into hay to feed to donkey or line
goose nests. Faded. Withered. dry
enough for pea sticks. Alas alasl
what has got into the youth Of the
land? Caught by giggle, see how
they wiggle. In vain have | expostu-
lated and warned them. In vain do |
stand like he-Niobe and, with out
stretched arms, implore them to halt
and consider their latter end. The
tinkle Of a piano or guitar, or the
ripping tee hee of maidenly merri-
ment, comes floating on the perfumed
air, and the admoEitory roar of a
friendly Niagara would be unheard.
Heedlessly, needlessly scorning in
struction, onward they are rushing,
surging and pushing down to destruc-
ton, or to matrimony, which too often
amounts to about the same. The
young. the brave. the gay, the grave,
the ugly, the pretty, the silly, the
witty, the brilliant, the stupid, all yield
to Cupid, all seem resistlessly bound
to travel the broad road,
gudgeon beaten path that
leads to beati6c moonshine, white
kids and neckties, orange blossoms,
affairs and mumbling parsons, to vine
clad cottages up four pairs Of stairs,
grocer's bills, wash days, sad biscuits,
slop coffee, seedy hats, patched elbows,
fadey calicos, drudgery, squalls and
variegated unpleasantnesses. Poor
wretchesl Infatuated double. uppers!
Heaven help theml Everybody says
| ought to have been one of them.
ought to have joined the missing half
hunters, ought to have been Bene-
dict or Maledict, long ago. And
suppose | ought-but | have not.
You have brought me nearer to it than
| ever was before.
| Married. To be married. And
without any of the tangled and troub-
lous preliminaries. What infinite
and diversified tribulations you have
spared me by transporting me in fairy.
prince .orNprincess fashion to the al
legged elysium Of marriage, without
any weary wandering in the labyrinth
inc mazes Of courtship, or any perilous
egg shell navigation of the proverbial>
ly damned current of true love which,
from the lace cap rufiledswhat>is-it
period of creation and history until
now, never did run smooth. The
wide world over, its shallow, bubblinp
channel has been strewn with rocks
and quicksands, cataracts, whirlpools,
eddies and sand bars. In every land
and cline since Jehovah took thai
crooked bone from our great great,
; grandpa's chloroformed side, by which
his first sleep became his last repose
the story has been the same. 0bsta
cles, trials, anxieties, maddeninI
Q ealousies, doubts and misunderstood
ings, beset the lovelorn, courtinl
ninny's way. A stern oil,
daddy's number fourteen stogs boot
with big brasssheaded nails in tn
toe, a vixenish, prospective mother
in-law, miscarried note or packag
, Of tafy, crushed bouquet, a look,
J wink, word, anything, everythinI
sufices, has for sixty centuries suf
feed, to wiring lovers and wooers
, souls with red hot dentists tweezer
! of agony. 1t is the doom of the Who'll,
! spoony race. No mortal can escape Il
none ever did, none ever will. Adam
; wooing cost him Eden, and got hin
kicked over his own garden fence. Il
, bare skin trousers and fig leaf round