The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1883-02-16
San Francisco Post.
The Inoomplete Show.
A Geological Collection that Lacked so
Many Things.

The other morning while the urbane man
ager of Woodward's gardens was smoking a
feur-bit cigar and meditatively listening to
the mnffied walls of Tom cat that had just
been swallowed alive by the big anaconda, a
tall, thin, scienti1c-looking man, with a goa
tee and blue glasses, entered the gate and
remarked in an insinuating manner:
"Of course you pass the scientific frater-
nity?'
''Of course we do not" said the Snowman.
what, not the savants, not the pioneers
in the great march of the mind into the
hftherland of the infinite beyondr' returned
the professor with great surprise.
81 will not deceive you,o sarcastically re-
piled the proprietor of the only salamand4r;
1--WE pass nothing but the quilts on the fret
full poi cupines-I mean the press. You can't
see the ostridges unless you come down and
put up"
Dear me, dear me-" sighed the scientist
refectively. "To think that a professor OF
cosmographic conchology should be denied
admittauce to a third-class zool Has the
skamgstibus been fed yet?'
''Skam-wbich2" asked the tiger import
er.
''The skamgatibus. You've got one,
haven't your"
"Y-e-s-s; believe we've small female
somewheres;" said the grizzly's friend
doubifully.
81 never knew first class collection to
have less than two pair" said the professor,
contemptuously. Chow do your azimuths
stand this cold weather, eh?"
s'Azimuths%. asked The Napoleon aggre-
gator of curiosities; whats them? Some
kind of bird-you don't mean osrri---y,
"Ostridges be hangedp' said the successor
of Darwin; "ostridges are nothing. I've
shot more ostridges with quail shot than
you've got hairs on your head. You don't
actually mean to sit there and tell me you
haven't got a single azlmuth to your
back?''
'Don't believe have,' admitted the all-
gator breeder, mortified; "what are they
like?'
ooh, they're of the order Spinalis spicmo-
tbs, about eight feet high. Fur peels of in
the spring, you know--the Siberian species,
/ mean. suppose you got one of those rec
tangular African fipgoohlies that reached
New York the other day."
"No; Pm darned if did, said the much
agitated Snowman. Here I've been keep
ing an agent in New York on big salary
to look out for attractions, and he doesn't
catch on to the first blamed thing. Spends
all our money on secondhand panthers and
kangaroos with the rheumatics. I'll bounce
him by telegraph
Haven't even gota fipgoohly, eh?"
unused the scientist, in tone of great pity.
'And shouldn't be surprised if you didn, t
have gold-crested cuspidor in your whole
show"
Neither have; neither have" replied
the wretched promoter of pelicans, in tone
OF great bitterness. ''S'pose you just step
in sir and lab ro1,pd W, ohio thnra,r IN,
thing else you could say"
"N-n-o, guess not, said the tall man.
ut would hardly pay me to spend so much
valuable scientific time in fonrth-class
show like this. Not even an azimuth, Ell?
should think you'd be afraid of being actu-
ally mobbed some time. Pm sorry for you,
my good man; sorry for you. I've no doubt
you mean well, but-not a solitary skamga-
THUS? Great Scottr'