Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1883-03-24
WHOLE NUMBER. 5ss..
The Editor ofthe Other Pape,..

1"e h"tt@FO OF t"e OtHof Paper.
"Ars you the sditor2" said the
man, who wore a conciliatory smile
and dyed beard, as he took . ssAt ia ia
cur Office.
We acknowledged thst at present
We served and Instructed the people
in that capacity, aud to prove our a..
ssrtioR we showed him the blisters
made on our hands by our sxsrtion
in operating tho Archimsdsn lever
that moves the world, -
"WelI, I want You to surprise me
with aatteriug personal notice in
your paper. I am going 10 run for
constabls in the Eighth Ward, and
want something neat in the way Of
ssnd-of.oo edI nj Tal7m aa's.tls'.1
}, Our columns are always open to
advance the best interest Of the pub.
lic but We shall expect yonIto frat
surpris MS with q pecubiary COM
psnsatiOn, not necessarily for publ
cation, but merely as q plsdge of
good faith .auoa.a 81 a.gis1HsU
4l"l'll pay. A man cannot expect to
be surprised without paying for it in
advance. What have you pot 30
T"Ws can accommodate yoai with al.
most any kind aot personal notice,
from cheap electro, plated biosraph
TO an eighteen karat obituary, and at
scale Of prices varying according to
the strain on our columns and vsrac-
ity. Now. how would you like thisP
Itis a neat little prs,Rsphaslite gem,
and will cost you only $3.50; 2sM''
Our entsrpriaing townsman. Col.
b, tha, whom there is ,po more
popular and congsnial gentleman in
the length and breadth of the Empire
STATE, has consented at the solicits-
tioa Of many friends 10 'sacrifcehia
very profitable business to the public
good, and has authorized US to an
nouncs him as a candidate for the
honorable Office of. constable of this
precinct ~ aeaaat s9i7oda q amaa
.,s' "If that is not strong eponsb,, here
is a Michael Angelo. full length. in
which your quslitis Of head and heart
will be touchingly alluded to, and
you will be commended for your, gen.
erous impulses-only $3.50 each in.
aertion. Then We have a brilliant
thing, after Mozart, which is really
intended for gubsrnatorial candidates
--spsaks of your simplicity of charac-
Ter, jean clothes, and pay.asyou-go
proclivities--but ityo cam bs 4 easily
made to suit prospective constable.
1t will cost you $3.n There are sew
eral others from $2 TO $40 each. For
referring to you as an 'old landmark
81 extra is charged" ".slWaa .;.Jag
II reckon you can saw me off three
dollars worth but you must throw
in something aboutamy war record"
"Ws saluays do that" sg-ea a.t
"And just wind up by surprising
Captain Bill Smiks. He is running
against me. wouldn't say any hing
he might take otfense at. Only say
he is not fit for the Office, because he
has a breath like buzzard and the
record of faconyict. You might add
that my brother hasn't go. wife that
has fits. That will hit him where he
is FORE, for his brothers wife is sub.
jsct to fits. I don't care to lug any
personalitiesinto this campaign unless
l am obliged to-"
1--WE can't do it, Colonel. Yoar
rival is our personal friend. He is Q
subscrl ber." sf an
"Pshaw I thought you were rum
ming an independent paper in the in
terest of the people, but 1 sea you are
the subsidized organ of a political
1 clique" And off he went to see the
other paper.