New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-23
TO THE CONSECUTIVE QUAIL EATER.

IL is always an unwecome task to take the
conceit out of a man who is doing the best he
can in the field of effort to which genius or fate
or circumstances have assigned him. And
therefore it is that we shrink from informing
W. 5. Walcott, esq, who has proposed to him.
sef-his ambitious and exacting self-the en-
gnging task of eDdeavOring to eat two quals a
day for thirty consecutive days, that even II
success should crown his noble ambition, his
achievement will be only as the small dust of
the balance when compared with consecutive
ird-consumng feat which has already been
grandly accomplished OH American soil. We
call the attention Cf Mr.. WalcOtt to this feat
more in sorrow than in exultatlon, our only
desire in the consecutive fowl premises being
to yindicate the truth of history and award
honors according TO relative merit.
Discalming, then, any intention OF hurting
Mr.. Walcott's feelings, and trusting that the
facts which we present will not blast q career
so full of high promise and consecutive quails,
We assure him that some of these days ut the
conclusion of one of his Gabe Case matnees--
which certain of our fellow citizens find so thrill
ing, so sweetly responsive to tho warnings Of
their respective souls-we WILL if he will per-
nit, furnish him with the name of the devourer
who devoured several gamy birds a day for all the
consecutive days of no less than twentythree
consecutive years. Nor will it do for Mr.. Walcott
or any one of his admiring friends to attempt to
dispose Of this assertion by denying its truth.
They might as well deny the existence OF Cen
trail Park or the law OF grayltatOn. The name
of this phenomenal devOurer of consecutive
fowl Is "a party by the name OF Democracy. 1t
began to eat several crows a day in 1850, just
as soon rs il found that Abraham Lincoln was
elected IL has been eating consecutive crow
ever since-nOt crow on toast but crow az nat
Urel. served hot with gall-and- wOrmwoOd
gravy. When Democracy first sat down to the
degutIton of the biru, 1t declared that It's abll-
ty to eat consecutive crow would he utterly
exhausted in four years But after inspecting
the election returns in November, SCI, it re-
marked that It had grown used, If net partial,
to The diet, and saw no reason why 1t could not
relish or mt least endure crow until 1865. 1t
added however, that it would not entertain the
thought Of cncuring crow after that year, being
unwilling TO impose too great strain upon It's
sensitive stomach. All the same, as Mr. Sey-
mOur will reoOlcct no sooner had the ballots
been counted in 1865 than the Democracy,
after studying the bill of fare containing the
viands that Uncle sam placed at its disposal.
found that it would be compelled to appease its
appetite either on apples ot SOdom, apricots
from the Dead Sea, homegrown eXtra-sour
grapes, east wind, or crow Under the circum-
stances Democracy, after gnashng its teeth
feroclously for a few moments, remarked Il
might "A well stick to crow. GryeJne s'mofe
crow" From 1865 dawn to the present time
it continually has protested that change of
food was desirable that the common veal de-
mauded that the days of it's cr0w-eatng should
come to an end that no country could expect to
prosper in which one party was given all the
croY and tho other all the milk and honey.
And, nevertheless, it has continued TO eat crow
GROW for breakfast, crow for dinner, crow for
supper on secular DAYS COW, on Sundays
crow, and crow on all tho holidays 1t is still
eating crow ~ We 20 TO press
The contem pation of this record of Il rival in
the field in which he is seeking to earn niche
in Fame's eternal temple must necessarily
demonstrate of what stun the consecutive
quail eater at Gabriel Cases is made. Per-
chance it will discourage him 80 That forthwith
he will give over trying to write his name
among the great and gifted of AL ages, and will
abandon the labOrs that now engross his ener
ges for less ostentatiOus aud exacting profess
sional career. Or perchance it will simply
serve as fuel TO his ambition, stimulating him
to consecrate his entire life, including his di
gcstive organs, to consecutive quails.
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