The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-05-25
THE MONKEY BARBER AGAIN.
He Plays Choke" on the Old Man and
thu New York Sun Reporter.

Hello. young velleIs'' said the Mon
key Barber in the shop near the Cooper
Institute. Il peen der poss here now.
Der oft man has gotta proken chaw.
How on earth did he break it?''
''Oh, it vosn't nit himselluf he proke
it. Ii he could done dot he would long
ago hat proken it dalking. Der oft man
vos dalking like he always done, ehoost
as if his tongue vos drying to make a
fool of his prains. Dot vos der alder
noon backwards of lasd Duesday. He
mpte chokes apoud der garbenders und
shoemakers ind such dings. Presently
der lasd gusdimer-a fearful pig Irish
man--got into DER shair, me und der
poss der mittle bedween.
. 'Oi soy, barber, he hat sayt. you We
way av spakin yer moind right out,
so ye have. "
q I chenerally sbeak blain English, ;
der poss hat sayt
IS 'Oi wud loike fer ter git yer opinion
@bn the tailors.
~ sSoo-o-o?' sart der poss. as simple
as pilly goat drifting nit a package of
dynamite; L can some pully chokes re-
member apoud der dailors. We used to
say by Chermany, a goot, healdthy dali
should not peen avraid to vent ovid on
windy day WITHOUT daking his goose
along to keeb him from blowing away
g Cant you think ay e'er anudther
joke upon the tailors?'
Veil, yes, der poss hat sayt, der
used to peen a sdory of vonce upon a
dime YES der dailors all used to sit der
mittle of der floor und york, but Won
morning shdupid serfant girl swept
Won of 'em into a dust band und vlung
him der ash parrel inside. we're he vos
suffogated Sine dot dime der dailors
hat sat always der dop of dab1e, ovid
of der way of der prooms.'
- Well, sorr,' der pig Irishman sayt
in voice more louder as der dooting
of q logomotif, me name is McNulty,
the Bowery tailor. an whin YOU git troo
Shawn me Oh intend fer ter knock tn
everlasting day1oights of av We, and
Ofll Civ yez notice yer can sind out fer
all d'uther Dootchmin yez can foind,
an OialI polish the whole av 'em to the
Quane's taste, SO Oh will. -
.'Vell, dot vos frightful. De poss he
drembled like der cracks of der elevat-
ed raiirote, und he had sayt to me in
visper, 'Chaky. my poy. I haf put der
dwo of mine feet in it dot dime. Ain'd
you sorry for der old man?' j Dressed
his liant in silence mitout sbeaking Won
word -
q An mark moi wurruds.' sayt dot
gusdimer, If You lave the sign av
scratch ON me face wild yer resor, yer
OTll lick yez fnst an make yez shave
me afther. E
..sChaky, der poss vispered, L wish
.r1lx 8 1ofi 4 Oh
done
:. Theirs been .alterglther few. much
Dutch goin' on in the city, dot Irishman
sayt. It's got fer ter be n-yuisance
an it's got fer ter be reggerlatid.
80 Shall | make myselluf der pleasure
to put ON your het leedle oil, STRIP der
poss sayt, choost as bolite as if he vos
sbeaking to some lady owitsite of his
wife.
8. Yell put lie on me head, an the
Dist yez have. an plentysaf 10, an yez'll
d up me hair in the Fifth avenue steyle,
wild bangs an dashboards foreninst me
ears, an a pa-art behoind. an Loo-ey
BoneY-pa-art waxt inds TO me musstash;
an bay rum, an powdher, an allim
wather, an pomaytnm, an all oV the
Dist, that Oh may look foine, whoilst
Oi m afther pawn yeZ fer yer blab wild
me chew fists an fate. Dye MONT that,
We g-yarlic-stuffin' limburger -de-vourin'
boboen?'
:. .Chaky, der poss vispered, vent
right away ovid und COLLAR a boleece-
man, yich viii safe der botesof our lifes.
Get an Irish boleeeeman, Chaky; dem
hat got derscience of der sboleece peeze-
ness dswn finer, und dem get TO work
more gwieler as der Cherman vons,
well, to make shortness ovid of my
sdory, vent und didn't find 2 boleece-
man insite of dwo miles, und ven I got
beck der oft man vos hanging droo der
beck vinder sash, his legs der shop in
site, und his head in der beck yard. He
viii peen sick more as "a mondth.
just as the reporter finished brushing
his coat the proprietorran briskiy down
the steps into the shop showing not a
sign OF the Entertainment he was credited
with having received
ePy ehiminyi You are quick ovid. =
said the assistant. and dashed up the
stairs
'Gwick ovid, said the proprietor;
II hobe dot monkey parber has not
been ledding hi1nselluf from his lnaatch-
lnatlon loose. Der only dings / peen
gWlck ovid of is feefaIv cents chnosf
lost insite of dwenty minutes nv ne
nuckle in der saloon der street across ,,
During the lass century New York
city doubled its population every seven
teen wears. The 5sua thinks babies are
living who will know of New York