The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-01
A New Edition Of wills Coffee
House Capt. Darwin Bell
Makes a Pun. AFish Frolio
Where a Spring Poet IS
Turned Loose.
.p SouTH KENTucKIAN:

unawarcs when | left Hopkinsville
on Tuesday 18th of April to take de-
positions l never once dreamed of a
fishing frolic before my return and
when hung up my hat as Esq. Quarles
for holiday it was with no thought
of meeting the'great conyerser' Judge
Jas. Quarles, Of Nashville.
II we knew what fun and frolic
were so near us in the future perhaps
the anticipation would be as pleasant
as the experience: we might live
twice over each joy that life brings.
Watson Quarles was in town on
horse back, on the l7th of April. and
| had to be at Esq.G. NJ. Quarles' on
the 18th, by which place Watson
passed on his way home; So Tobe
Smith, the greatest livery man in
Southern Kentucky, hitched buggy
on tothe horse which Watson was
riding aud started us. The horse was
q small white gJatish looking animai ,
and we had to tic knot in his tail to
keep him from jumping through the
smallest breast yoke in our city. The
shalves stood OH either side of him as
though he were terrier dog trotting
between two horizontal gate posts |;
and the harness Hoped from side to
side as did the pantaloons of Ichabod
Crane ona windy day. Over roads
that furnished an argument for turn
pixies we journeyed to the residence Of
Esq. Quarlcs, where the evening was
spent In smoking and joking and the
next morning in joking and smoking.
Without derogation to the claims of
other aspiring agriculturists it be-
hooves me to say that Frank Quarlcs
is the greatest farmer in the county.
Ills servant work hard and make him
money more fgpm respect and ail'ec-
tion for their master than from hope
Of reward; and should any danger
threaten him | believe that all his
hirclings-bcgining at the boy Harry
and going up the aged pensioner uncle
Peter-would rally TO their masters
a
relief as did the tenants of old to the
lord of the fec. His horses nicker
and his hogs grunt when they hear
his ioot-step and his grain fields seem
TO smile in the sun for their owners
pleasure. A visit to Wayside when
Tie family only is present ''docth good
like medicine" but when Captain
Darwin Bcll-thc equestrian philos-
opher-and Judge James Quarts the
greatest criminal LAWYER in Tennessee
are also there and lend their keen
intciligcnces TO tho conversation,
without much stretch Of the imagina-
ton one night thuuk himself in
"Will's coffee house listening TO the
wit Of Burke and Garrick, or the pom
derons utterances of the lexialhan
photographer. Permit me to play
Boswell lo this cotcric Of wits. The
doctrine Of election was under dis
cussion; Judge Quarlcs said it was
good policy Tor a commander to try
TO instil the belief in fatalism among
his troops as twould make them fear
less in battle and victorious in war I;
as Hector's valor might be attributed
to his belief that
NO hvstile hand could antcdate his doom
riil iate ,ons,gncu hun " Tho silent tolnb.
Esq. Quarles remarked that be-
lief IN the three sisters and their
power was good in theory, but had
no effect when danger approached
and TO illustrate lie said that hard
shell preacher was riding through a
dcadening in company with his son
when q storm thickened the atmos-
phere with dry bark, splinters and
falling limbs. The preacher began to
whip up his horse and try to get out
when his son said "hold on pa what
will be will be, and il you are got to
die here limb will strike you wheth.
er or no. whereupon the old man re.
piled "Son that is mighty good in Q
sermon but it amt worth hell in Q
deadening." Capt. Darwin Bell
then changed the subject and said
that if the Uniyersalists could sue
coed in convincing God of the truth
of their theory he hoped to be saved
otherwise lie was doubtful.
Judge Quarles told Of client O
his in Robertson county whose fore
head was SO low that it took a mi
croscope TO see the dividing line be
tween his eye brows and hair, anC
whose eyes were so cross that ht
could look his own head and SCI
a squirrel up tree while Gaping hi
rifle. If this client followed the gaz,
of one eye he went eastward, if hi
followed the gaze Of the other eye h,
went westward with "Thc course o
empire" If he followed his nose HI
went northward, if he went the wa.
his heels pointed he went southwark
in attempting to go with all his lead
ing features he split his foot to tn
ankle, then split his body to the col
lar bone and used his Adams appl
! for anavel. This man was not re
garded as well shapcn by his neigh
bors, but was not responsible for hi
:. appearance, as he hitched his sus
l. pendcrs over his ears and frightene
!. nonn h,,f womon and children nv M