The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-01-23
Seuse aud enouse1age.

IL
so stout. They have been known, in
individual cases, to gain over thnty
pounds in one weei.-bettlng on horse
races.
DR.. Wild, of Toronto announces that
Adam was seven feet high. This would
seem 10 indicate that the garden of
Eden was located somewhere in Ken. |
lucky.
The man who Dragged all summer
about being good skater has switched
off from that tropic and is now telling
the boys what ..hoss" he is to bind
wheat
The following occurred in a Lowell
Sabbath school: Teacher-' On what
were gwen the commandments to Mo-
ses ?" Little boy-"On two marblstop
tables"
Some wives are so unreasonable as to
complain that their husbands come home
with ten cent bouquets in their hands
and twenty-five cent cigars in their
mouths.
An article in an exchange is headed;
Kissed By Her Husband" Such mis-
takes will occur, and there should be
some remedy devised to prevent their
recurrence.
A Sunbary girl, who married recent
ly, says that her husband would soon
be wealthy man it he would only work
as hard now as he did when he was
making love to her.
Life is like a pack of cards. Child
hoods best cards are hearts; youth is
won by diamonds; middle age is con-
qpered with club, while old age is
raked iu by spade.
There is a scarcity of feminine names
in Spain. The young infants, Isabella,
will have only four, Not long ago such
q prodigy had from fifteen to twenty, all
strung together with hyphens.
There is now dispute raging between
France and Italy as to where Columbus
was born, and yet thousands Of Ohio
men are willing to swear that Columb
was born in the capital of that State.
They ale sure he was because the town
was named after him.
The Fremont Messenger says: at is
to be hoped the Ohio Legislature will
get down to business, and instead Of
legislating to control mems appetites. do
something that will benefit the people
and be creditable to themselves. We
want no more such haby-play as was in
Edulged in last winter"
"Why did you speak to that police
man? Are you acquainted with him ?"
asked Milligan's wife as she and her
husband were walking home from the
theater the other night. "Oh, no. l
don't know the man," replied Milligan !;
sit was simply my duty as citizen to
see il he was awake"
The statistical fend has calculated that
81 per cent of marriages are unhappy.
Yes, and "a per cent Of the bachelors
have holes in their stockings, and leo
per cent have the neckbands of their
shirts frayed, so that they are only few
degrees removed from guiliotiue when
starched. Wuo's ahead2
$50 you have got twins at your
house," said Mrs. Bezumbe to little
Tommy Samuelson. "Yes man, two OF
EN-" "Whst are you going to call
them p Thunder and Lightning"
"Why, those are strange names to call
children" "Well that's what pa called
them as soon as he heard they were in
the house."
A Philadelphia bird fancier says:
you can tame canary bird inside of
SIX hours by depriving it OF food for
that length of time, and then putting
your hand filed with seed into the cage
Repeat this at intervals, and the bird
will soon become tame enough to f1y
about the room and come to you when
you whistle for it,
The Hardin County Democrat says:
"Of the 100000 voters iu the United
States who cannot write their names,
more than 100000 belong to a class
that are claimed as practically solid for
any Republican ticket prescribed. Let
the Government help the States to send
the schoolmaster abroad, and the evils
that Republicanism has brought on the
country will disappear"
Fitznoodle is Nimrod who goes out
very often and brings in rabbit or so.
Fitznoodle is an enormous eater and
nobody else gets much of the rabbit.
II wonder why nobody gets any of the
shot except me-" said Flznoodle taking
a grain OF shot out of his mouth. "Be-
cause nobody else gets any OF the rab-
bit, suppose" responded Mrs. Fitz-
noodle with telling sarcasm.
The dancing lady who tries to wear
the skirt Of her dress under her arm and
the waist around her knees, and kicks
her slippers clear over the orchestra
chairs every night, gets $500 week, and
the city missionary gets $500 year;
The horse race scoops in 81 600 the firsi
day, aud the church fair lasts week,
works thirty of its hest women nearly
to death and comes out $40 in debt.
A New York doctor, aroused too early
br The Growing of his neighbours roos-
ters went out, captured them, cut sheir
vocal chords, restored them TO their
roosls, and went hack to he'd conscious
that he would not again be disturbed
that or any other morning. He now
enjoys himself watching the neighbours
establishment at their successful lmita
tions of the growing motions without
making sound
At a hotel ia this city Saturday
couple from the country. of Milesian ex
traction. took seats at the dinner table.
Directly after a young couple seated
themselves opposite, and the young ran
took stalk of celery from the dish and
commenced eating it. The old lady op-
posite looked at him moment with an
al of disgust. and then nudged her hus-
band and said. in stage whisper, 'D'ye
moind the hlackguard eating the .bokay.'
-OsWego Times.
She found him lying at full length on
the kitchen floor diligently stirring the
contents of his new hat With bamboo
cane. "HenryF' cried the astonished
lady, "what on earth arc YOU doingY"
"My DEAR" replied Henry, "you surpris-
ed me. I-I-thought I'd just make
you IA little 'quarium for = Christmas
present" And be was making it. His
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