Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-01-18

4 speech between Cigar Whiffs at
the Pilgrims Dinner.
The New England society spent two

COURSES VI It's ulIiubI Ill upnOT vi tue
262d anniversary Of the landing of the
pilgrims. There were about three hun
bred diners. One of the table orna-
ments was comic representation Of
the transit of Venus, in which the can
dy observers were looking through
bottles and other impracti-
cable glasses. At the head of the table
sat the president of the society, Josiah
NJ Fiske. Gov. Long of Massachu-
sets, Senator Miller of California, ex-
President Grant, Gov. Bigelow of Con-
necticut, and Samuel +. Clemens,
sometimes called Mark Twain, were
among the guests. The diners were so
many that some were crowded into
room adjoining the great dining hall,
and dinner began so early that many
who came at Z p. m, as usual, found
several courses disposed of.
AT $50 p. M. President Fiske raped
for order amid applause for his
promptness, and called upon the Rev.
Arthur Brooks to return thanks. The
president thea welcomed the members
and guests. He announced with pride
that the pilgrim statue" would be
raised in Central park within a year.
He hoped before long to De able to say
that some son Of New England would
supply the great need of New Eng
land hall. He announced as the irst
regular toast, "Forefathers' Day." and
called upon Joseph H. Choate to re-
spond,
The toast to "The President Of the
United States was received with three
cheers. President Arthur was I'M
avoidably absent. In response to the
third toast, "The United States" Gen.
Grant said tkat il he had know that if
he had known he was expected to re-
spond he would not have been present
He could think of no greater agony
than to know beforehand that he had
to speak. Then he mentioned the
United States humorously as q small
place OF no particular consequence,
and called upon Mark Twain to make
his speech for him. Mr. Twain, how
ever was billed to respond 70 the toast
TO woman, God bless her"
He began by saying that he had felt
honCred at being called upon to re-
spond for Gen. Grant, but could not
undertake such q task. He felt that
Gen. Grants history would be the best
speech that could be made for him
and for himself he would proceed to
make his own speech. He spoke in
his most deliberate manner. smoking
all the time, and interrupted at almost
every sentence by roars of laughter.
This was what he said:
'Hrhe toast includes the sex univers-
ally. It is to woman, comprehensive
" wheresoever she may be found.
Let us consider her ways. First comes
the matter of dress. This is most
important consideration, in a subject
of this nature, and must be disposed of
before we can intelligently proceed to
examine the profounder depths of the
theme. For text let us take the dress
of two antipodal types-the savage and
the cultivated daughter of our high
modern civilization.
Among the Fans, great negro tribe,
woman, when dressed for home, or to
go to market, or to 90 out calling, does
net wear anything at all but her COM
plexion. That's all. That is her en-
tire outfit. 1t is the legitimate costume
of the world, but it is made of the dark
est material. 1t has often been mis-
taken for mourning. 1t is the trimest
and neatest and gracefulest costume
that was ever in fashion; it wears well;
it doesn't show dirt. You don't have
tosend it down town to wash, and nave it
come back scorched by tlstiron, and
some of it with the buttons ironed off,
and some of it petrifed with starch,
and some Of it chewed by the calf, and
some of it rotted by acids, and some Of
it exchanged for other customers
things that haven't any virtue but hpli
ness, and ten-twelfths OF the pieces
overchargeG for, and the rest of the
dozen mislaid. And it always fits; it is
the perfection of fiji. And is the hand
lest dress in the whole realm of fashion.
1t is always done up. When you call
on a Fan lady, and send your card, the
hired girl never says, Please take a
seat; madam is dressing; she will be
down IN three-quarters of an hour
MOI madam is Away dressed, always
ready to receive, and before you can
get the door mat before your eyes she
is in your midst. Then, again, the
Fan ladies don't go to church to see
what the others have got on; and they
don't so back home TO describe and
SANDER it.
Such is the dark child of savagry as
to every day toilet; and thus, curiously
enough she finds point Of contact
with the fair daughters Of civilization
and high fashion, who often has moth
ing to wear" and thus these widely
separated types OF the sex meet upon
common ground. Yes, such is the Fan
woman rs she appears in her simple
transformations every day toilet. But
on state occasions she is more dressy.
At banquet she wears bracelets; at a
lecture she wears earrings and a belt;
at a bail she wears stockings, and with
true feminine fondness for display she
wears them on her arms. Alta funeral
She wears a jacket of tar and ashes; at
a wedding the bride VINO can afford it
wears pantaloons. There the dark
child Of savagery and the fair daughter
lofcivihzation meet once more upon
common ground; and these two touch