Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1883-11-22
couple of well-br9d young gentlemen,

"WeIl-hred~ fddlesticksl | declare
YOU men are stone blind. Now, do
you pretend to say that you don't see
that Master Fred as tho other one
calls him, is nothing but n grip
Nothing but girl, is rather cool
nowadays. when man hardly dares
to open his mouth in tho presence Of
woman of any age" l said, as bravely
rs dared, to my better Soycn-cighths.
My devoted companion kept it up.
That night when was Just dropping
off to sleep, She reached over, gave my
blanket jerk to rouse me, and OK
claimed:
"Why, her whole style, her walk,
her voice, her chin, her beautiful eyes,
her dolicacy and sweetness of manner,
and .his tenderness toward hcr-it is
all as plain rs can be. They are Just
married; sho is threatened with con-
sumption, and as this dress is so much
better for saddle work in the noun
taiDs, ETC.. etc. Oh, see it all lust
as plain as the nose on your face"
knew my nose was big one, and
my wite's favorite object for illus.
trating vast things, but knew like
wise it was dark night, and that |
was lying with my face turned from
her. | said nothing, but began n series
OF evolutionary snOrcs, which she
finally accepted as genuine, but which,
rs one can never hear the real sounds
in himself, wero probably not good
imitation,
She reused me the next morning,
and told me of curious dream she
had had about the beautiful bride
in brooches. On the way over we rode
side by side, where the trail was wide
enough to give our mules u chance,
and discussed ou scheme.
Our welcome was very warm; the
dinner was excellent. Wohad finished
tho slowed canned oysters, the canned
turkey with cranberry sauce, and
canned green peas, and were busy on
the dessert Of canned strawberries and
peaches, when my wife opened our
"little game" Addressing herself to
Mr.. Morton Gre y she asked:
"Don't you think, Mr.. Morton, if n
lady were sick, say of consumption,
and needed to live year or two in the
saddle, it would be capital plan for
her to adopt u mans dress, and thus
secure all sorts of frcodom?'
Our plan was to look Fred square in
the face at the conclusion of this ques-
ton. 1t was evidently u bull's-eyc
shot. He blushed, and turned Il look
of astOnishment and interrogation upon
his companion, which proved that my
wife was right. She always is.
Then, without waiting for them to
change the subject, took up my part,
and said:
"We met couple the other day, the
most beautiful people | have seen in
years; the bride lived in the saddle,
was dressed in mems clothes, and was
rapidly recovering from Il genuine con-
sumption" "
"Whcro did you meet this couplc?'
asked Major Barton, by which name
Fred addressed his companion.
"At the San Diego Falls" was my
reply.
Then he gazcd at the Major. Thi,
, was our programme. He looked al
, his companion. They both turned all
sorts of COlors, and we all burst into
roar5 Of laughter. Thcn followed q
long aud most interesting talk. My
wife had guessed the exact truth; Fred
was bride. The famlyphysician had
> pronounced his ease genuine pulmonary
consumption, and had shaken his head
over tho near future.
Tho young people consulted together
, and after much anxious doubt, bu
1 with the full consent of friends, wcr,
married. After deal Of trouble they
=, succeeded in obtaining the proper
measurement for Frcd's corduroys
> and in ten days wero climbing The
rugged sides of the Sierra Nevtlas
They had been aig-2agging through
the mountains, and in three month,
had reached the point where we first
met them.
A curious change came over Fred
> manners. As soon as the facts wcrt
known to us, | imNginc he felt very
Z much rs Eve did when she bccamt
aware that her clothing was rathc
scanty. Whereas Fred had slapped hi
; thigh, talked of the growing muscle
and strided about Ike other yOun!
fellows, now he excused himself, tool
> something out of n bag, went behind
) clump Of bushes, and soon returne,
with a blanket arranged Ikea woman,
y skirt
| Irecall these facts nearly four year
after the close Of our camp.life on tn,
u Pacific Coast. Th9 occasion was ~
: exciting scepc in Central Park, New
York. Wife and |, with the old camp
), ing instinct upon us, were sitting un
dor II treo in shady nook in tina
: beautiful park, watching the saddle
riders. A pair of wild ones woro com
ing. | exclaimed:
:, "Those must be mustangs; no othG
horses can do 1t like that"
Instantly my wife clutched mo il
n that same place, and cried out:
h "It's Fred! it's Frcd!n
" We sprang toour feet. The recogni
Is ton was complete all round. Tn
g horses were tho samo they rode il
p California Quiet enough they wer
g there, eating what they could pick up
l. but here, with oats and thoroug
grooming, they were full of tho YER
l. dickens.
" Tho next day we dined with on
II friends. 1t was hard to recognize i
10 our beautiful hostess the thigh-slappin
Fred of tho mountains.
If complained that the long, silke
70 skirt did not look natural.
Id Mrs. II. 1--WE now for the first tim
Mt learned their real name) invited us t
g spend the next evening with then
* Mr.. II. opened the door, and told Il
't they had sent their servants out fo
ar tho evening. In the grand parlor W
waited for our hostess. In came Ere
10 in the same old corduroys, wooden shil
and old boots and pith hat.
lg He went striding about the room
ul regular free and easy mountain fashion
lg and when the shouts of laughter ha
~ subsidized, slapped his thigh, and sait
lie "When | went to the Pacific Goa
it that leg was so small and soft that
could hardly carry me; now 1t is bi
ry enough and solid enough to carry n
nd through long life."
Yes" exclaimed the proud an
a happy husband, "my wife would n,
ng part with those clothes, nor with HI
4. 4 4 Al