Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-09-20
Aamaruus department.
HE SAVED THEM.

HE SAVED THEM. ....
He was young man with $40 suit o.
clothes on, and he had made arrangements
to take his girl and her mother down te
Put-in-Bay. He left them on the boat
while he ran up town to get some cigars
and scarcely had he disappeared when s
man with hatchet face and red goatee
approached the ladies and inquired of the
mother:
"Going down to the Bay?"
eyes, SIR" ........-,-
"Never seasick in a gale, eh?"
Scale! 1t is going to blow:" she asked
in alarm.
"Flag is up, and that means wind, you
know! Madam, the-the young man you
Just left here is-you know-that is, he
loves your charming daughter"
Gle waits upon her, sir" :. :. =
"Ah! exactly. If you want him for q
son-in-law don't you 60 this trip"
"Sirw
"Pm telling you honest, madam. Your
daughter will be seasick first. She will
call for lemon, and some wine, and some
pickles, and she will sigh and groan, and
her hair will come down, and her bows
skew around, and in half an hour you Won't
know her. She'll be faded fiower-a
crushed blossom. The young man Wont
of rumpled muslin"
"Dear me! but Pm alarmed"
"And then you'll begin to hate the
thought of fried pork and baked potatoes
and rib roast, and ten minutes later you'll
thump down on sofa and clutch and cling
and groan and lament"
"But George will be kind to u.s."
MADAM, George will have plenty OF
business on hand. Chapswith his set ofears
and full face are apt to be very sick. Before
he can get lemon for Melvina and pickle
for you he'll flop down and call himself
names, and wonder how he was ever struck
on Melvina or why he ever wanted you lor
mother-in-law. He'll heave up and he'll
heave down, and he'll wish you and Mel
vinay in Halifax and himself in Mexico,
and the upshot will be nowedding, no cards,
no cottage with clenantis trailing over
the front door. Madam, am a stranger
to YOU, but / warn you from heart filled
with the milk of human kindness. The
only woman ever loved went with me on
seasick excursion. My love was turned
to gall and gave her the shake"
He then left. In three minutes mother
and daughser were on the wharf. In three
more they were two blocks away, and as
they met George and turned him back his
countenance had the color of boiler iron and
his voice betrayed cruel determination as
he said: ...,, ,.--. -,
''Ill see you on the car, and then I'll find
and lick that man if he weighs fifteen
ns."-DetroH Free Press.
AN EDITORS JoKE.-Oakey Hall tell:
the following story Of Mayor Harper, Of
New York city. The Mayor, was a strong
advocate of temperance. While in office
his publishing firm was issuing a book or
Texas travel, by George w. Kendall, found
erof the New Orleans Picay,tne. One morn:
ing Kendall, who was famous joker, called
to see Mayor Harper at the City Hall, and
found him engaged with committee of 8
Rechabite Temperance Union. Kendall put
his head in the door and said Sorry YOU
are engaged Mayor, and can't keep that lit
tie appointment with me at the American
Hotel bar; but come over as soon as you
can and I will keep the mint juleps cold. y
So saying he vanished, leaving the ladies o.
the committee looking daggers at the May
or, who infelicitously said: "Oh, that is
nv friend Kendall, of New OIleans. There
was no appointment, and never drink
mint juleps." Theladies coughed and grew
more "daggery," for the manner and meth
cd Of Kendall had been very natural ano
sincere.
REg- An officer of the Welsh steamer GWa
liza, now in this port, says that new vesse
of that line, to be built at Sunderland, is tc
have the name of LlanfairpwyilgWyngyll
gogerychwyrndrowlls nttysillogogogoch.
8Where did you find that name %
''It's pure Welsh" he said. "Have you
never heard of the Englishman's perfect
cure for lockjaw? Here it is printed"
He handed the reporter the following
card:
as your father at home ?" asked an Eng
lishman of a Welsh boy whom he met or
the Great Orme's Head, Llandudno. "No
sir; he's gone to work at Llansant- -ffraid
CLAN COnWy" "Is your mother in, then :"
"She's gone to the fair at Llanfhangel-treir
befrdd." "Dear me but where is YOU
sister ?" "My sister has gone to school al
Llanfairwilgwngllgog wyrndrowilsan
ttsiliogogogoeh.n, Good gracious t !" !' ex ~;
take Smile.'"
SHAKsPERIAN NoTEs.-Shylock is fail
eXemplificatiOn of how pound foolish mar
may be.
"Season your admiration for a while" i:
rather spicy way of putting it.
When Hamlet said, "but l have tina
within which passeth show" it is believed
that he had in his pocket complimentary
ticket to the circus.
Hamlet was probably on a fishing eXcur
sion when he said "The air bites shreWdly,'
and the inference is that he was successful
in ''catching cold"
"Forever and forever farewell, Cassius
If we do meet again, why we shall smile,
said Brutus, and how pleasant it is to con
template that "age does not wither nor Gus
tom stale" this delightful habit Of ''smiling'
when friends meet.
49,,
nT The worst racket ever had was witt
wild stag. He shook meup SOS though
I'dnever get over it,"
"How was that ?"
"Why, it was a rousin big buck, Jim W.
got the horns now. You see he was foller
in a doe. I shot the doe with one BARI, ant
him with the other, and thought he was al
right, but when l stepped over log to loot
for him in the bushes, he lit on me so qulci
1 couldn't use my gun. He knocked it ou
of my hand, and then my knife, some way
and l grabbed his horns. l thought he't
never stop yankin' me round"
"How did you get clear of him ?"
81 gave his horns a twist and diSlOcatet
his neck"
"rhat was a lucky twist"
m% "Dar am muffin which ruins a niggel
more suddener, said uncle Nash, solemnly
to his eldest hopeful, "dan de custom of Wis
itin' hen-roosts in de full OBJ de moon. Itan
well 'nough to tackle watermillyun patche:
Jo oh rier,f coil 1in3 rOOOI ir