Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-03-01
The Drunken Parent.
AND HOW THE BAD BOY REFORMED HIM.

"l understand your pa has got TO drinking
, again like fish, said the Oshkosh grocery
man to the bad boy, as the youth came IN
the grocery and took handful Of dried ap-
pies. The boy ate dried apple and then
made up "a terrible face, and the Oshkosh
man asked him What he was tr, ing to do
with his face. The boy caught his breath
and then said
"Say. don't YOU know any better than to
keep dried apples where DO, can get hold
Of them when he has got the mumps? You
will Kill some boy yet b, your carelessness.
/ thought these were sweet dried apples,
but they are sour as a boarding house keep
er, and they make me tired.
"lt's getting so they look TO me to brace
pa up every time he gets on a tear, and |
guess | fixed him he will never touch
liquor again. scared him so his bald
head turned gray in single night"
What under heavens have you done to
him now ?" says the grocery man. in aston
ishment Il hope YOU hay'n't done any
thing you will regret in after wears"
Regret nothing - said the boy as he
turned the lid Of the cheese box back and
took the knife and slicrd off piece Of
cheese. and took few crackers out Of
barrel. and sat down on a soap-boH by the
stove.
~ lou see ma was ANNOYED To death by pa.
He would come home full when she had
company, and LAY doau on the sofa and
snore, and he would smell like a dlstillery.
II hurt me to see ma cry. and told her
would break pa Of drinking II she would
let me and she said Il would promise not
TO hurt pa to 20 ahead and promised not
%,
linen got my ShuT ana another boy,
quite bug boy, To help. and pa Is all right
We went down 10 the place where they sell
arms and leg 10 folks who have served ~
the army. or a saw mill, or threshing-ma-
chine. and lost their limbs. And We bor-
ro~ed some arms and legs, and hAed up
disseoung room We h,ed long table IN
the basemeni-hig enough 70 lay pa out on
you know and then We got false shissers
and mustaohes' and when pa came IN the
house drunk. and !aid on the sofa and got
70 sleep, We took MN and lard him out on
the table. and took some trunk straps and
suTcinSie, ana strapped MN down on the
table. Tie slept night along all through II,
and We had another table with false arms
and legs On, and Se rolled up our sleeves
-N' 80 PIP - '''N' 'N'- '''N''
medical students do when they cut up a
man
Well, you'd died 70 see pa look At US
when he woke up. sa" h'm open ms eyes.
ana then We began 70 TAX about cutting up
dead men We put hickory nuts N our
mouths, 80 our voices would sound different,
20 ne "ouIuh hho" Us ana J Was "!IhR
me other boy about "hat time We hal
cutting up the last man Ne bought sad
ne vas Asiu! toHSh' anu "hen "s hah go'
NJ ieg, on ana taken out M hfain' ~,
Trends camt y me dI'NrctInG-ro"m ahi
claimed the BODY, ana We had 70 give II up
but l saved the legs ! looked at pa on thr
table ana ne began to turn pai.' ana ne
sql"msd around 70 set up, out FOUND he va
Ia't hA0 pu'eu ms snitt up uhueI M
arms "hlle ne was asleep aiu a. ne oeeah
y m"Nr' t"oA Az ioIc!'' aHi' IA the dih
Hshl oi 'ht 'ahdIrs' tha' we're aIu'h2 on
the taoir IN Deer o"''its' are" the
lcsc't across pa s'nnihlc>' ahd ! sA!H :"
my chutn' .poc, guess "ed better ST
open I'M old iuher and zee II ne died from ~
hanmAtlon oi the stummieA' from hAra drink
'hs' a. tht ,ofnheF said he uIu' shld-
uefeu ~ oNcf "heh ne leit me ic'Cle gong
over M, bare slummick, and he SAID, 'fof
uoi sake, gentlemen, what does TINS mean
am hot dead he boys looked al pa ~
a-'ohlshmrhi' ana SAID, ven We bought
YOU LOT uead' ana .he coroner jury sa1a
you we're dead. and by the fterha! We amt
gong % be fooled out oi a corpse when ~e
out one are We DOC Ny chum .aiu not
he kno~ed his'eIi' anu Inc o'hrr SUI
dents s.id. NJ course ne T. dead lie
thinks he i ali'e, but he died day before
Yesterday, Tell dead on the street, ana ms
ioik' ,aid ne had been a nuisance ana theE
~ouidnt claim the corpse and We bought
at The morgue hen drew the lcIcie
across MN again, and | said. 4 dont kho"
about thl>. Doctor nnd that oi"od ioI-
io~, me sca!pei a. cut through Inc cut4clt.
Hand IN" the blood sponge, please.
'Pa began 10 "iggle around, and We look
ed It him. and my chum raised ms eyelid
and lo"ked solemn, and pa SAID, Hold on,
gentlemen Don't cut lhto me an, more,
and | can explain this matter. lhis IS all a
mistake was only drunk We went IN
a aoorner and whispered, and pa Kept talking
all the time. He sand If We would post
pone the hog g-ki!ling he could send and get
witnesses 10 prove that ne was not dead, but
that be was respectable citizen, and had
family, After We had held consultation
went 70 pa and told him that What he said
about being alive might possibly be true,
though We had our doubts. We had four
such cases before IN our practice East where
men seemed 10 be alive but II was only
temporary. Before we had got them cut up
they we're dead enough for all practical
purposes. Then Land the icicle across pas
abdomen, and went on 10 tell him that, even
if he was alive. 1t would be better for him to
play that he was dead, because he was such
nuisance to his family that they did not
want him and was telling him that had
heard that in his lifetime he was very cruel
to his boy, bright little fellow who was at
the head of his class in Sunday school, and
pet wherever he was known, when pa IN
terrupted me and said, doctor. please take
that carving knife of my stomach, for il
makes me nervous. As for that boy Of mine,
be is the condemndist little whelp in this
town, and he isn't no pet anywhere. Now,
you let up on this dlssectin business, and |
will make it al right with you.
1--WE held another consultation. and then