New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-28
Somebody to Knock Down.

uC rage XOI Uu0 AlNo
taken possession of a number of young
men in this city, and one of its worst
victims is young man employed in the
Office of certain mining company. He
bought a pair of boxing gloves and
practiced on the Office boy and telegraph
messenger boys with such success that
he felt certain he had mastered the
manly art, and began to express him
self as wondering how much Sullivan
would give him to stand up to him
eight or ten rounds. So confident was
he that he could ''knock OUT any man
of his inches. and SO persistent was he
in obtruding invitations to sparring
bout on every small boy that entered
the Office, that his fellow clerks deter
mined to put up little Job on him, A
professional bruiser-known as one Of
the best light weights in the country
was interviewed and the arrangements
perfected.
In order to make the thing work
smoothly, It was necessary to have q
sacrifice, and one of the would-be box
er's fellow clerks-a young man of about
his own size and age, whom he had fire.
quently knocked about with the gloves
consented to assume the somewhat
disagreeable role. At the time appoint
ed the professional appeared at the Of
fee and inquired for the secretary.
mot in; anything can do for you?"
asked the boxer.
The professional had his neck swathcd
In handkerchief, spoke with great eff
fort, as if suffering from severe cold.
ond I00H0I on ~
orally that he was about the last man a
novice would have taken for prize
fighter.
NO." he said, in answer to the ques-
ton, II jest come down from Virginny,
and I've got letter to Mr.,
and if he won't be long, l guess I'll
watt
"Oh, he'll be in in a few moments.
Sit down and make yourself at home. :"
In few moments the secretary re-
turned and was soon followed by a
select few who had been invited, who
dropped in to chat for half an hour, it
being after business hours. OF course
the conversation was soon turned on
the subject of boxing, and the boxer i'm
mediately brought out his gloves and
challenged any man in the room to a
bout.
keep quiet about your boxing" said
the secretary. There's that little fell
low over there, only Comstock miner,
and suppose he never had the gloves
on in his life, and I'D gamble that he
could get away with you."
''He could, could he? Here, young
fellow, just take these gloves, and put
up your props"
mo" said the professional; "rm
afraid of you, but I'll tackle that other
young fellow" pointing to the gentle
man who had been selected as the sacri.
fee.
II don't care if do 90 you around
said the sacrifice, and at it they went,
and the professional went to the floor
every round, and allowed himself to be
knocked around like a foot-ba but &C.
casionally he would get in an apparently
accidental sidewiper on the ribs that
would make the sacrifice snort like 8
porpoise and wish he had not accepted
the job of being a sacrifice. The rounC
being finished, the professional dropped
into chair apparently completely ex
hausted, coughing as if in the last stages
of consumption, and declared that the
doctor up at Virginia City had pro
nounced his ailment a desperate case O.
pneumonia. The would-be boxer, how
ever, had no computations about knock
ing out a dying man. All he wan,ee
was somebody to knock out; so he sale
to the professional: Young felleA
when you get your wind, III go yol
some myself"
''Oh, I'm afraid you'd make corpse
of me-" was the reply.
"Oh, come on" said the boxer, s
won't hurt you; I'll just tap you light.
| At last, and with much seeming re
luctance, the professional consented
and the boxing proceeded. Every littl'
while the professional would send in OF
the boxers ribs a whacking blow, which
to the inexperienced eye and to the box
or himself, was the result of sheer awk
wardness. The boxer confined hi
sparring to attempts to hit his antayon
lists face, and he was occasionally al
] lowed to get in light tap, ius
to give him confidence; but the whacks
on his ribs soon began to tell, and sore
tuu PautluS Ho Sauk lnCO CHAIR anC
declared that there was no use in put
ting science against mere strength.
The pugilisi then gave few illustra
tons of his art, and showed how he
worked it to get in those side-windine
body blows. He had not proceeded far
however, before the would-be boxer
'tumbled," so to speak.
II see how it is boys!' he exclaimed
"you played cold deck on meal
right. please imbibe at my expense"
The boxing gloves are now locked ut
in the office safe.-San Francisco CAL
s Couldn't Understand It.
/ Last week a commission house which
does bushes on the Board of Trade for
country dealers, received visit from q