National Republican., 1883-03-20

lhc luOuu hupne pIlkut Ou gehleEulBuIt
on shrub aud budding tree
| On spire, and tower and dome the light
Poured down refugently.
The gas man danced on yesernght
And Rugged himself in glee,
ergo the people need no light
More dividends for me-"
A cloud crept up on yesternight
Blacker than ebony;
The silver moon sank out Of sight,
| Not so the gas mans glee.
"Tis past midnight" he gladly cried
| Good folks are all In bed;
Tho papers fume and men deride
No lamp this night shall shed
lis mellow light" wight grew upavs
Dark as the past is dark,
Yet in no lamp in any place
shone one poor quiyering spark.
In areas fell benghted men
Who swore impiously,
And climbing out swore louder whenl
They caromed galnst tree.
What cared the gas man for the skin
Scraped from an injured knee?
What cared he for the wounded shin
Or mans impiety2
"some night" he softly said. "full soon
VIII glimmer lamps of mine,
But not WIENER the silver moon
Is advertised TO shine
WASHINGTON, Mar. is.
HASH in Lent is u compromise on the meat
question.
A LITTLE coal will go great weigh on
dealers scale.
JULIAN HAwTHoRNE's "Dust" is natu-
rally dry book.
MEN who believe in Virgins would dig for
the buried treasures of Capt. Kldd.-NeaO orleans
| Picayune.
RURAL joke in the dull season: "What
heresy is obnoxious alike to science aud religion %
Heresypilasw
A GOOD many families are eating canned
fruit at this The appetite for sealing wax
appears to be an acquired one.
| FARMER (sardonically): "Ow am gettin'
on2 Fust rate. It's age o. progress, is this ere.
Gits nearer the workus every year"-EuR.
The New York Commercial Advertiser calls
the attention of little boys to the fact that
oil farm has been started in Mississippi Courier
Journal.
ALFRED TENNYsoN has been arrested in
Baltimore for assault and battery. Alfred, would
seem, is not going 10 allow his poetry TO be crii.
cised.-- Courier Journal
THREE times did Marc Antony present to
Cesar kingly crown, and C,esar thrice refused.
The Louisville Courier. Journal thinks 1t probable
| that Mr.. Cesar wanted pie.
WHISTLER, the American artist in London,
Is very bitterly criticised. This is as II should be.
The very name of the man shows that he is feeble
mlnded.-AHanta Constitution.
| A HOTEL in Los Angeles Cal, has on ito
printed rules the following: mo combustibles,
such paper. old clothing, bottles, or oyster cans,
to be thrown out of these windows"
"DoN'T pull me around So" said the thief
| to the policeman, Ihaye felon upon my finger"
"And have my finger upon felon," remarked
the policeman, with sardonc smile.
THERE is n negro boy in Macon, Ga, with
! legs like whipstocks He has snaky looking eyes
and darts out his tongue like viper He lies on
his stomach wiggles his legs, and has spots ON his
| back.
Mr.. HJALMAR II. BoYEsEN is one OF tho
members OF q new spelling reform association. If
there Is any place where reform would do moro
| good than in his own name, we know not where 10
| look for 1t.
A MONTREAL household is terrified because
a strange appariton, in the form OF a fiery red
cross, about two feet in height, has been seen IN
| the dark Of the night shining brightly upon the
wall Of one of the bed rooms.
A SERIES of experiments on muscular pres
sure at Johns Hopkins university shows that small
ladies shake hands with more vigor than large.
| and the pressure of men is 10 that Of women as
is to o, This is believed to extend to kissing.
Ina Wisconsin town, where roller skating
| is one of the most popular of amusements the
young people have petitioned the proprietors OF
the rink to pad the floor of tho hall. The popu-
larity of the amuseolent must DO much greater
than the skill with which 1t IL practiced.
i. l..
not policemen, nor communists, Mrs Lydia Pink
hams likeness nor ten cent elevated fares nor yet
Virgins, but snakes. In 1881 snakes are reported
to have killed 1850 persons, and probably some
elephants, wild boars and such creatures.
NEW style of begging has been introduced
by Pittsburg woman, who goes from restaurant
TO restaurant and from saloon to saloon trying 10
sell her child for 81. The persons to whom sho
| appeals naturally think her in great distress and
give her money, but refuse to take the child.
The Chinese merchants of Waynesboro, Ga,
do not intend to be expelled from trade circles
without makinga vigorous effort at selfprotec-
| tion. Three of them. acting upon the advice of
| the Chinese minister at Washington, have begun
suit in the United States district court, at Savan
nab, for Sll5,0O0 There are eighteen defendants.
WHILE Robert Burns was at Mofiat once,
| with Clark the composer the poet called for
| bumper of brandy. ooh, not bumper" said the
musician; II prefer two small glasses" 1.-TWO
small glassesp' cried Burns "why, you are like
the lass in Kyle, who said she would rather DO
kissed twice bareheaded than once with her bon
| net on"
FIRST QUIDNUNo lin an ecstacy)-"Pve
just been writing TO the New Shakespeare So
| ciety,' Believe I've made dscovery--that Ho-
ratio was Hamets father?" Second Quiduuno
| (enchanted) y" You don't say so |" First Qud-
| nunc-"My dear sir doesn't Hamlet when he
handles Yorick's skull, address Horatlo, And
smelt So PAP think that's conclusive p-Punch.
"PIcKAwAY" writes to the Cincinnati
Enquirer: The Washington sleeper on the Penn
sylvania Central burned up the other day, and
Col. w. w. Dudley, commissioner OF pensions, and
others escaped in their bare skins with their
! lives. There are no details of how the fire 90.
CURED. came from Washington recently and
saw performance that made me feel uncom-
| Portable. At Sieubenvlle the porter brought out
| a large can Of oil onto the platform, and filled Al
| smaller can. l followed him in to see what he
did with the large can. He placed It in the box
under the linen closet in the center of the car,
and the small can he put in the closet, near the
stove in the rear. got to figuring on the thing,
| and concluded that in smash up the chances of
escape would not be enhanced by the liberal sup.
| ply of coal oil. OF course the Official reports
i r. All. ,IaSI. H..