davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11
PrrRIAL OF WILLIAM A. sEAvER.

The funeral of the late William A. Scaver took
piece Yesterday at o'clock, at his late residence,
nj Mount Vernon. The Rev. Mr.. Bolton, OF whose
church the deceased was member, read the service
over the remains. Funeral ceremonies occurred
both at the house and the grave and were deeply
imurrssiye-not less because OF the deep ana
tender feeling with which the officiating
clergyman read the Episcopal service than because
of the simple and appropriate execution OF the Inci-
dental chant and the hymn. There was not very
large concourse of frends-the severe storm aud ex-
IRENE cold preventing tho presence Of many who
wonid otherwlse have attended. Among those
nrescnt were Judge John X. Brady, George w.
6uintard. Charles Delmonic0 William Winter,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11
pov,s cuaRGEs OF CRUELTY.

william j. Lenchner. ago eleven, was ionnd u mad
ae. .'ras ~ ON Monday night lie said no bad no
a"' and lie told several conflicting stories aooni
bis experience in tho city A. Length ns ssS iu ne
luo c..,,ot of ii-truatmcnt. He declared that no
% 1a been beaten cruelty by the oclals ana tna'
cher boys had been punished win nna osty Of No.
,;.s, - i,s Society for the Prevention VI cruelty
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11
PAINTINGS AND BRoNzEs DESTROYED.

A window curtain was blowing against some
lighted tapers that were burning Christmas tree IN
the back paror the residence Of the Rev. Cornelius B.
smith, at No 1877 East seventy-frstst. last evening
about dusk and started fire that caused 1000 dam
age The blazing tree first discovered BY Mabel,
little daughter OF Mr. Smith, who gave the al,rni The
frcmep were quickly the house, and they put out the
gre In short time. But the Ministers family portraits
and fine collection II bronzes ana cnrios which be nad
br0ug be from Europe, destroyed Mr. Smith tho
rector of St. James Episcopal Church I'm East seventy
secondst His loss 10 covered by insurance
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11
Suicide OF AN UpHoLsrERER.

Gustaye AberIe, a German upholserer iorsy
rs,rs ad was found hanging in hls shop, at No; 6s
yy'rs I,srtvfl.,rd-st Yesterday morning lie had
Nee' 81 s,,c,ce during the GIght Illness IN his
semiia and fslure in his business. It was !hough,
bad anssttled mis- mind He let Letter IN w wca
ia ,n,,ored misfortune upon nei2hpor, agalust
Eo NV vs had a nriya grudge Aucrie had wile
sn three children hvng at No. l30 seventh-st;
Tney had no. seen HIM snce sanrday, an ne nsu
~, lis nights in his shop brooding over MS ms.
9prsnncS IL. had sent word To tnefn, saying tnat
svon,d rot see him again until he had money
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11
HOME NEWS.
PROMINENT ARRIVALS.

Fifth Avenue Hotcl-Assistant Postm 1ly,err
Haden' metropolitan Hotel-Captan Ralph Chandler,
u. g. NJ and General George Thom U.
81 Echoias HofeI-The Rev DIR. W. G. Catteil Prespsn'
of lafayette College Grand Cenfrah Prnpessor
T. ~ Horsford OF Cambridge Mass Park Avenue no.
ti-Ex-Govefnor b. Page, OF Vermont ns ~ n
Ledyad General Manager Of the Michigan Centrai Hai
road
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11
WHAT is GOING ON TO-DAY.

Seventh Regiment ball at Armory.
Hutchinson case before Referee Lyman. 49,.
GIover-Manhattau Railway suit In Supreme court
Union League Club annual election. -, 20
Society OF Medical Jurisprudence meeting at NO. IL
Meeting relative to preservation Of Niagara Falls at
Municipal Hall.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11

Hugh Hastings Joseph Burke and Dr. CSSn uasse
and other friends followed the CONN W "oo"i"""
Cemetery. where the burial was made.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11
MARINE INTELLIGENOK.

MINIATURE ALMANAc-ro-OAY.
suurfsss 724; Moon setJ 50J Moonsage DAYS.
HfgF gAf@s FI-Ost.
<y-saudy Hook 9i5; Gov Island. 946: He'll Gate 1896
P.M-sandy Hook. ESQ; Gov Isisnd. 1915 Hell Gate
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11

Mother Swans Worm Syrup, for feverish-
ness resessness worms. constipation. Tasteless. 26c
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11
TypHUs FEVER IN A TENEMENT HOUSE.

Fears of AN outbreak Of typhus fever at No. l69
Hester st we're not alayed but rather Increased by
the in, OF Sanitary Inspectors yes day.
II conld not be determined thai Sabina Merriam
hal died from the fever but the bnria oil her body
" as ronducted privately. DIR. Day having caused a
mol ceman TO be sent 10 the house to PREVENT pup
lie funeral A woman who Was sick IN the same
house was examined by DIR. chaplin. OF the Recep-
ton Hospital, and Inspector McCh'sney. oil the
Vaccinating Corps who thought shc might nave
tvnhnid fsyer It was asc, rtaIned that a Mrs.
Waters had died in the tenement house "a few
weeks ago. Her two daughters. Annie and mary.
aiterward became i'll and were removed from me
honse one of the girls is in Bellevue Hospital
and the other is in The Reception Hospital. Both
ware eaanined yesterday, bat the physicians could
not be sure that either had typbns fever;
ent what complaint the girls were suffering from.
A close watch will be KEEP. on the house in Hester
At aud every precauLion possible Will be taken to
Mt spread Of typhus fever II it ~ settled that
thp cont agious disease has really obtained foot
hold there,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11
SHIPPINf; VIEWS
PORT OF NETWORK. WEDNESDAY. JAN. 10. 1883.
ARRIVED

80 with mdso and passengers % Henderson Bros
ntemer Daniel Stenmann lBegi. sch0enhoven Antwerp
Dec 20. with mse and passengers to Funch Edge Co
cIEAHEO
Steamer Avenll CBr), Spock, Newcastle on-Tyne-wH
Steamer State Pennsylvania CBr,, Richie glasgow
Steamer Hermann cBelg, Eyler Antwerp-Punch Edge
steamer Gelert .Gsr,. vygegesang, Hamburg via Ply
steamer neKia dam, Mosen, Chistiana-Funch. Edge
ste,mer Nyanza Br Clarke Rio Janeiro Montevideo and
Busnos Ayres-w. & crossman & Bro.
Steamer Star quick New orieansBogert Morgan.
Steamer city of savannah Catherine, savanBahHenry
Steamer Delaware winnett. chareston-J ountard s.
steamer euyandotte Kelley Norfolk. City Point and Rich
steamer Mcclellan Billnps. BaltImore-tIeo II Glover
Steamer Commonwealth Van KIRK, Phiafephia-John
steamer Fanny cadwalader Dillingham;. South AmDoy-
steamer Neptune. Berry. Boston-H Dmoek,
ship Grecian, DqnbBr; Yokohama-sater & Livermore
snP s%ith nr Bs9Cp Esye Co.
BARK ATgo (BrI. Humble. Cork for Orders-simpsOn 6
Brs IiSaoa Br Hopkins Norton
''H'' THE MOVEMENTS OF srEAMERA
FOREIGN PORTS
LONDON Jan 10-ssled. steamer Holland tBr Miligan,
LyERsooi, Jan Arrived steamer sarnia OBJ, Lindal.
UEKNsTowx jan 10 Arrived steamer Illinois, shackford,
BRISTOL. IoA rived steamer LANDAU City Csr'.
FAsrxTr jan Io~Passed steamer Nevada (Br) Bremner,
New YORK Dec 80 on her to Queenstown ANA Ly
BARCELONA Jan 7-Ar11ved steamer Royal Minstrel tBr)
Taylor. from Charleston Dec Ia
HALIFAX. Jan lO-Arrived. steamer Geo shattuck.
DOMESTIC PORTS.
BOSTON Jan Io-Ceared steamers scoan (Br Rich.
ardson. Liverpoo Berkshire Hows baltimore Norman,
PHILADELPHIA Jan lO-Arf1sed. steamer santee. Hines.
New-YOrk
steamers and Centpeic Boston; Whit
DELAWARE BaRAKwATER Jan 10 Passed uward steamer
ono MORRISON Liyerpc9oI lor 'ms1eiphlaa 49,. m, A.,
Auley Lyerpoo Johns Opkns, Bostoni sarsgossa New
sailed steamers sarasossa AID Johns Hopkins.
CHARLEsroS Jan lO-saied. steamer Moro Castle PEN
slvASSA Jan io-saled. steamers (sr) Bremen;
NEw ans Jan Cleared steamers Mediator Liver
pool 0smap dos Cnnellis, Bremen: Fournel Havre; Cha
At the Psssss-Saed steamers Darlington stozeufels and
Louisiana, the latter for NewYOrk.
FOREIGN sHIPPTS5
LONDON Jan lOsaie oil Adopbus for savannah. Erna On
tario for ReJekka for Mobile John
for New.York. saturn for the Delaware.
----------------
Announcements
plies ply scans prescribe FOOD IA 4h.av
EARL g. Wilson'S Shorthand collars and
bead.edge cuffs Ile best Soil s5ecySLeca
HENRY A. DANIELS, NJ. d..
IA LeSin ytoa-ave.. bet geca 9}th And 3)ttstl
Genito Urinary orans ana nervous sYstom speciatisA
| Ladies suffering from neural ia, indigestion
find speedy relief In Parkers Ginger Tonic
| Mother Swans Worm Syrup, for feverish-
ness restlessness worms constipation Tasteess Zoe.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11

Use Brummelrs celebrated Cough Drops. The
genuine have A IL. b. on each drop.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11

Ladies' suffering from neuralgia, indigestion
ousn ess speedy relief ParEers Ginger Tonic
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11
HEAVY DAMAGES AGAINST A RAILWAY

The suit of the administrator OF the estate OF Ce-
phas NJ. Woodruff, OF Newark, who was Killed IN the
PaTkers Creek railway accident last summer,
against the Receiver OF the Central Railroad
which Inns ueen tried in the Circuit Court before
Judge Depue for q week, was concluded yesterday
and n verdict of S25, 900 was returned by The Jury
The defence was based manly upon the claim that
tbs Central Com pany was wrongly sued, the accdent
happen,ug on the New-York and Long Branch haIi-
road which is not part of the system oil the Cen
trail and is not under its direction or control. AS
Mir Woodrui was riding in a car belonging 10 the
Central Railroad, which was run by an engineer
and conductor of that road, the plaintiff maintained
that the company was liable as common carrier
for the condition OF the roadbed and track upon
which il contracted to carry. -.
ndps Depue in his charge to the jury held that IL
was tiIs duty of the carrier TO see thattea
enable care Should be exercised Tor the sale convey
auce of the passengers and contracted mat the
tracks of any other company on whose line lts
trains passed should not lie in an unsafe condition
by reason of any negligence. In the matter of com,
pnripa the amount of damages the Judge instructed
the Jury to cons der all the circumstances attending
the business and domestic life OF Mr. woodruff MS
"ccppatIon age capacity for business. with due al
owance for inactvitles of life and business vics
sitndes John w. Taylor, OF counsel Tor the Cen
tral Company took several exceptions to the charge
of the indge and the will DO carried to the su'
ureme Court.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11

70 Children. who promised 10 investigate bis story.
It was ascertsined that Lenchner was the son o,
That ma mad Disappeared from the Five Points House
of Industry on the day when he was found by th i
police The superintendent and teachers OF tne
House of Industry emphatically denied the boy
CHI of crueltV
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11

HENRY A. DANIELS, vi. d.,
IA Lexin gtoa.ave. Bot geca 8}th and 5)ttstl
Hours 10 l. 20 iu,5tslea Stsrt5Y Osslss3 OK ths
Genito- Urinary organs sYstom speciatisA
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11
HALIFAX Jan l0-Arrived. steamer Geo shattuck.
DOMESTIC PORTS.

Announcements
Gluten Supp0sitOnes cure constipation and
plies PLY prescribe them HEALTH FOOD 4th-av
EARL & Wilson'S Shorthand collars and
bead.edge cuffs sAe best Soil e5ecTSlets
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-01-11

Deaths Inst week 90 births 900, marriages 80.
President West will announce the Aldermanic
committees next week.
Jewelry worth $lO5 was stolen yesterday from
the house of Edward X Dustin, No. $50 Gates-ave.
Mayor Low has been informed that the Congress
sionaI Commission on navy yards will visit Brook
lyn within two weeks and Will be glad to meet any
citizens Interested in the sale retention OF the
Brooklyn Navy Yard.
The Rev. Dr. Adophus j. ]. Behrends, the success
rate of the Central Congressional Church, will as
sumo his new duties the first Sunday In March.
proposed TO replace tho IRON front OF the church
| ed flee with brick.
| The report OF the work on the bridge last week
| shows that tho man span Is complete as lar a.
posts pins and diagonais and the overfioor stay
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21
That M0nOtonOus Roar.

She had little boy with her as she
sat down in the street car beside a
lady acquaintance, and drawled out
"Oh, you don't know how glad
am to get home again. We were away
seven weeks"
$50 long as that"
"Yes, indeed. You don't know
how monotonous the roar of the sea
becomes after week or two"
"I've heard So"
"Ma, what are you talking about p
suddenly put in the boy.
Hush child"
"But Uncle George lives up in the
woods in Isabella county, and it wa,
all woods and mosquitoes and snakes
and such old beds and poor living
that you cried to come homc' 1,
this the kind of roar you heard ?"
The other lady was awful good,
She looked out of the car window
and began to talk about the weather
-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21

man, laconically. "Don't you owe
everybody who will trust you, and
have you paid me the ten dollars 1
loaned you year agof"
"But that don't say / can't pay -
growled the little man, seeing that the
big one didn't weaken. "The way I
heard it, you said ! couldn't pay, and
that is untrue y
81 don't believe you can pay a cent
on the doll, retorted the tall man
contemptuously.
81 can't, can't / ?" roared the little
man, enraged beyond his selfcontrol
by the GOODNESS Of his antagonist.
"I've got friends, l have, and don't
you forget it l can borrow money
enough in an hour to get out of debt
in a minute Understand thati"
And the big man walked away,
while the by-standers smiled at his de-
feat.-Brooklyn Eagle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21
The Young Man Wasn't Consulted.

"You should learn some trade, my
son." said an Austin gentleman to his
young hopeful. "Bricklayers are get
ting $3.50 day, while lawyers can't
afford to ride on the street-cars."
"Pn, why didn't you learn trade
when you were boy ?'a
That's not only silly, but also an
impertinent question. didn't learn
a trade when I was boy out Of re-
gard for your feelings. / wanted to
give you an opportunity to say that
your father was gentleman"
ut can't be helped now," replied
the boy moodily, "but I wish you had
consulted me, for if we had arranged
for you to be the bricklayer, l could
have been the gentleman myself
Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21
The Reversed Edition.

When Enoch Arden came home
after that memorable and disastrous
voyage, which shipwrecked him and
hopes, he crept up to his old home, as
Tennyson informs us, and looked in
the window. There he saw Phillip
Ray and Annie, his wife, and their
child, all seated around the hearth
cracking walnuts. The whole bitter
truth came to him at once with terri
BILE force. Annie, supposing Enoch
to be dead, had married Phillip, SO as
to have a home for herself and child
and man about the house in case of
tramps. 1t was sad coming back
for Enoch, and he was mad about it.
Not so much because Phillip had mar
ried his wife, for there we're plenty
more wives to be had; not because
his child had learned to call another
man pa" though that was bitter
pill, inasmuch as the child looked a
little like Phillip anyhow. Neither
of these things worried him half SO
much as to note that Phillip was
wearing his (Enoch's) clothes. With
n menacing gesture Enoch was just
about to dash into the house and an
initiate them, when suddenly the
anger in his countenance was sup
planted by a look of terror, and he
skunk away as silently as he had come.
He had caught sight Of Annie's
mother, who, during Enoch's absence,
had broken up housekeeping and
come over to live with her daughter,
and had become a fixture there.
Enoch told some of the boys after
wards that it was the narrowest es-
cape of his life, and. that he would
rather be shipwrecked every five
minutes than encounter his mother-in-
law.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21
Journalistic Courtesy.

MAY see the Ballville Register?"
The gentleman from Iowa addressed
one of the Herald staff who happen
ed to be in the exchange room. Ger
tainly, sir; take a seat the exchange
editor will soon be in. l am the edi-
tor of the Register. l regard the
Herald the best paper on my exchange
list"
Eyes? Well, we all deem the
Register the best paper in Iowa. In
deed, we all stand at the door when
Albert brings the mail and grab for
the Ballville Register. 1t is full of
ideas, and we get subjects for editorials
and special articles by the yard from
it. We couldn't get along without the
Register"
Journalistic courtesy Of this kind
is due from one editor to another.
Presently the exchange editor came
in.
"May / sec the Ballville Register ?"
Certainly. You'll find it in the
waste basket" Violent gesticulation
from the courteous editor. "That
Register is the very poorest paper that
sneakes into this Office" continued the
exchange editor, amid a shower of
gesticulations and vain "ahems." 81
never saw copy of the Register that
had an idea as big as 0 with the rim
knocked off. l always pitch the
blamed thing into the waste basket as
soon as | see the wrapper. don't
know what they kept sending it here
for"
The editor of the courtesy depart
ment vainly threw his shoulder out of
joint and then left the room. When
he came back the Iowa editor was
gone. "Say, that was the editor of
the Register"
The exchange editor jumped into
the waste basket and pulled the lid
down.'-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21

from the west, the extreme west, where
blood, hot blood, is spilled daily by
men like me. Say, you," he said,
catching tue eye OF tall man with a
large red pimrle on his nose, "did you
ever hear of Big-Headed JackY"
The tall man answered that he had
heard of red-head Mike, but the pim-
pie on his nose turned a CHASTITY white,
and he fell shaking into a chair as the
bad man drew a revolver and remark
ed that this was no time for red-head-
ed men. Here the New York Morn
ing Journal reporter hid behind the
bar.
perhaps some gentleman here has
heard of Big-Headed jack" he said,
as he glanced around at the boys /;
but dead silence prevailing, he con-
tinued: "Big-headed Jack was a
tough man. He came to Rattlesnake
Bend to take the town. He took the
largest portion of it until he came
across me. shot thirteen holes in
him. I've got wagon-load of Iniun
scalps | raised myself. I'm bad, but
I'm nothing unless excited. Here,
boss, fill 'em up for the boys" At
this evidence of link to a common
humanity the boys rallied without los
ing a man.
"Givc me something powerful, boss,
something that will make me feel as
though the wind was blowing right off
the prairies- ON me once again. All,
I'm reckless daredevil. Give me
something powerful to sooth me-"
Il suppose you have seen good
deal Of bloodshed in you time, sir"
said pale man in the rear.
"My life has been but turmoil and
rapine. Devastation and horror have
found me in their midst. Men in the
west, the farthest west, call me the
king of the cowboys"
A shudder ran through the crowd,
and the tall man with red pimple on
his nose disappeared through side
door.
"And yet" said the bad man, mus
ingly, al was once quiet, unassum-
ing boy, knowing nothing of crime"
"Say, dad" said a large-headed boy,
showing himself through the door far
enough to reveal a mouth extended
from ear to ear in a general smile,
ma says you won't know anything
for week if you don't come and car
ry them ashes down right off. You'd
better drop that pistol and come
mighty quick. She's waitin'."
The king Of the cowboys looked
around with sicklysmile Avery cold
light cleaned in the eyes of the thin
bar-keepcr. The bad man got through
the door first, and the thin bar-keeper
came back looking morose and un-
social, and, taking piece of chalk,
added to the sign over the bar of "No
credit given here" the sad word "to-
day. after which lack of interest
was apparent in the prosperity of the
place and the thin bar-keeper was
left with his elbows on the bar lone
somely burying his hands in his hair.
Chicago News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21

Fools and children tell the truth, il
is said and to illustrate we will give
you the story of Bishop Wurtzburg
and the little shepherd boy Of whom
he asked, "What arc you doing, my
little lad ?" Tending swine." "How
much do you get?" zone Aorin a
week." 81 am also shepherd" con-
tinued the bishop, "but l have much
better salary" THAT may all be, but
then ! suppose you have more swine
under your care" innoccntly replied
the boy.-Check.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21
The King OF the COWBOYS.

"I'm a bad man." he said, as he
leaned up against the bar of the
"Home for Tired Men" on the Bow
cry, New York, and gave the thin bar
keeper look that made him quail.
'Yes, I'm bad man." he continued,
ms the boys came crowding up. "I'm
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21

"Please, sir, there's nothing in the
house to eat" said Browns landlady.
"How about the fish | sent in Y'
"Please sir, the cat ave eat them"
"Then there's some cold chicken
"Please sir, the cat" WASN'T there
tart of some sort? p please, sir, the
cat" Gall right, must do with
cheese and" "Please, sir, the cat"
"Then, darn it, cook the cat and let
us have it all at once."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21

A man rushed up to a woman look
ing in show window, and grasping
her by the arm, angrily exclaimed,
"Come on ] am tired of waiting for
you." Then noticing that he had
made a mistake, he drew back with,
"Oh, beg your pardon, madam, l
mistook you for my wife," 81 thought
So" she answered with scornful
sneer, and passed on. - Merchant
Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21
A Signal Defeaf.

"Are you the man who said / owed
everybody and paid none ?" demand
ed a little man of very tall one, as
they met on Fulton ferryboat yes
terday.
wasn't it true T. asked the tall
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21

"Then, if l understand YOU" said a
merchant to customer, "you do not
intend to pay me the amount you
owe" "Your understanding is cor
rect, cop'n." "And you call yourself
an honest man, do you ?" "Yes, sir.
If | were not honest / would tell you
that | intend to pay; but being hon
est, | do not wish to deceive you."-
Arkansaw Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21

We observe that the son of an In
dian chief is learning to be a plum
Der. This will enable him to scalp
people without the aid of knife
Philadelphia Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21

A Philadelphia lawyer, too proud
to allow his friends to suppose that he
practices in the divorce courts, ad-
vertises "misft marriages a specially"
philadelphia Item.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21

A young lady who has been teased
out of ten dozen copies of her photo
graphs, calls her friends begging a
picture-ask pcrformance.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21

A new style of writing paper is
called dude" We infer that it is
a kind Of foolscap.-Yonkers States
man.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21

A schoolboy remarks that when his
teacher undertakes to "show him what
is what" he only finds out which is
switch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21

care you going to follow the sug.
gestion of the railway officials and
adopt the mean timer" No, indeed !
My watch keeps mean time enough
now."- Milton News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21

A man may ''smile," and be vii
lain, but the betting is two to one that
he will be drunk.-Cincinnati Trav-
eler.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21

Aided by its 400 physicians, Gin
cinnati is enabled to boast of one of
the finest cemeteries in the world
Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-11-21

What has the New Orleans Picay-
une got against blacksmiths -? Itsays
the Chicago Times is edited by one.
Free Press.