The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-05-10
PROCTOR KNOTT IN THE TOLLS.
Called Out of the House and Interviewed
by an Tnquisitive Yankee.

Proctor Knott, who has the reputation
| of being the best story-teller in Ken
| tucky, says the Washington critic. where
most of the good story-tellers live, gave
an account of an interview with a GER
tail Mr.. Watkins, of Vermont, which he
told with a skill of facial expression that
would have made his fortuHe ON the
stage. The rules about admission TO the
| floor of the House are very strict, and a
| conversation with member can only
be had by an outsider by sending in q
card through the doorkeeper when the
| member emerges, hurries through the
talk and goes in again. As members
are usually pretty well occupied, it is
expected that those interviews shall be
as brief as possible. One day Mr. Knott
received the card of Mr.. Watkins,
of Vermont, whom he did not know.
He went out, met long, lean man with
| solemn countenance, and this CONVEX
sation followed:
''Be you Mr. Knott, the funny man?"
''Yes, sir, said Mr.. Knott, promptly.
and I'm a great deal funnier than
| you'd suppose. The fact is l don't dare
TO be as funny as can be. I've already
| sacrificed the lives of several of my
| friends through reckless exercise of
my humorous powers, and | go about
under constant sense of self-restraint. !"
BE you from the Blue-Grass region,
or the Penny-ryal?"
I'm from the Penny-ryal. Here
| Mr.. Knott began to be little uneasy.
They were just beginning a roll-call in
the House. Mr. Watkins shifted to his
'ther foot, and began again: "What
kind of cattle do they have dewn in Ken
| tuckv?"
'Well, we have very fine breed of
the megatherium there But the pleto-
saurus and icthyosaurus, I'm sorry to
say, are rapidly dying out. 1t will be a
great loss to the State, because they are
very tame, and have been used great
deal for domestic purposes. A good
many of the ladies make pets of them. "
| Mr.. atkins seemed a little surprised,
! bat he got on the other foot and chang
ed the subject:
"Do you know Mary Anderson"
''Oh, very well. -
''is she purty?"
"Ravishingly beautiful
Mr Watkins paused a moment. Mr..
Knott could hear the roll-call rapidly
travelling toward the KS did YOU
ever see her play in Romeo and Jul
| ietn -
"Oh, frequently"
''Do You think Romeo and Juliet is
the best play Shakespeare ever wrote?"
''WeD, now. my friend, you'll have to
excuse me from expressing an opinion
on that point. You see I'm coming up
for reelection, and feeling is running
pretty high in my district on that very
question. About half of my constitli-
| ents say that Romeo and Juliet is the
beit play Shakespeare ever wrote, and
about half of them swear it isn't. So
y0a see IL I should commit myself it
would damage me very much in the
campaign
''Oh, said Mr.. Watkins. Theu he
pulled out of his pocket little Connect
icut watch, about the size of quarter
dollar. .'Do they sell many of them
down in KentucSy?'
well, ! have forgotten the price per
peck, said Mr.. Knott; they're usual
ly sold by the peek. They don't often
sell a bushel at a time
Mr.. Watkins was surprised but he
didn't 60 away. He only changed to
the other foot. Meanwhile the reading
clerk inside the hall had begun on the
rs.
"Say. there's another thing [ wanted
TO see You about. I've heard that peo-
pie down your way chew and smoke
during meeting. That amt so, is it?'
Mr.. Knott was angry at last. ''No,
sir, it's an infamous falsehood, It's
true that the boys usually have poker
deck in their pockets, and if the sermon
is little long they get down between
the pews and have little game and
open a bottle of whisky. But tho atate,
n1ent sir that thew chew tobacco .sn,.
! ing services Is miserable lie of the
Yankee press"
Mr.. Watkins seemed satisfied with this
assurance. He stood still moment,
"Well, [ thought I'd like to make Your
acquaintance, Mr.. Knott" and he went
away, and the Kentucky member fled
into the hall in time to be counted
among the straggiers on the roll-call
He offered to prove by Joe Blackbarn
that this entire conversation took place.
but the company preferred to take the
| story without any security,