Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-07-26
HOMESICKNESS.


There was more than ordinary earn
estness in the tone of Mr. Trillpipe as
ne said: "Referin' to this thing of
bein' homesick, I want to say right here
that, of all diseases, Affections or com
plants, this thing of bein' homesick
takes the cookies! A man may think
that when he's got an aggravated case
of janders er white swellin', er bone
erysipelas, that he's to be looked up to
as bein' purity well fixed in his line of
trouble and unrest, but I want to tell
you when [ want my sorrow blood-raw,
don't you understand, you may give me
homesickness = straight goods, you
know-and I'll get more clean, legiti-
mate agony out of that than you can out
of either of the other attractions, yes, or
even if you'd ring in the full combina-
ton on me!
You see, there's no way of treatin'
homesickness only one-and that is to
get back home-but as that's remedy
you can't get at no drugstore at so
much per box-and if you could, for
instance, and only had enough ready
money anyhow to cover half the cost of
a full box-and nothin' but full box
ever reached the case-why it follows
that your condition still remains critical.
And inconsistencies don't show no IA
vors. It's just as liable to strike you as
me. High er low, er rich er poor, all
comes under her jurisdiction, and when
ever she once reaches fer citizen you
can just bet she gets there, Eli, every
time. She don't confne herself to
youth, nor make no speciality of little
children either, but she stalks abroad
like a census-taker, and is as conscien-
tieus. She visits the city girl in her
summer tour, and makes her wonder
how things really is back home without
her. And then she haunts her dreams,
and wakes up at all hours of the night,
and sings old songs over for her, and
talks to her in the low, thrillin' tones of
a young man whose salary amt near
big enough for two; and then she leaves
her photograph with her and comes
away, and makes it lively for the boys
on the train, the conductor, the brake
man and the engineer.
"She even nests out the travelin' man
and yanks him out of his reclinin'
chair, and walks him up and down the
car, and runs him out of cigars and
fne-cut, and smiles to hear him swear.
I'll never forget" continued Mr..
Trillpipe, "the last case of homesickness
l had. and the cure / took for it. You
see my old home is most too many laps
from this base to make it often, and in
consequence hadn't been there for five
years and better, till tbs last trip, when
I just succrmbed to the pressure. and
throwed up my hands and went. Seemed
like I'd aided if I hadn't! And it was
glorious to rack around the old town
again-things lookin' just the same,
mighty nigh it, as they was when I was
boy, don't you know. Run acrost an
old school-mate, too, and took supper at
h;s happy little house, and then we got
Il, q good nickel cigar, and walked and
VI liked and talked and talked! Tuck
ne al around, You understand, in the
meller tTiligit-Gll, the first thing you
know, there stood the old school house
where me and lima first learnt to chew
tobacco, and all that! Well, sirl you
ham got no idea OF the fcelin's that was
nine! Why, felt like 7 could throw
nv arms aroaEd the dear old buildin'
and squeeze it till the cupolo would Just
pop out OF the top Of the roof like the
core out OF bile! And [ think if there
ever was epoclz in my life when [ could
tackled poetry without no compunc-
tons, IS the Teller says, why then was
the time-shore!'