The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-02-04
Witty WOMEN.

love, the strongest are those produced
by physical attractions; the next in
order OF strength are those produced
by moral attractions; the weakest are
those produced by intellectual attrac-
lions; and even these are dependent
much less upon acquired knowledge
than on natural faculty, qaickness,
wit. insight"
We have no less an authority than
Herbert Spencer for the above Quota
ton. and We may add that the most
beautiful OF women with the tongue
sharpened by wit, and a gift OF re-
partee, is generally positively die.
liked by the sternsr sex. The eolu-
ton is freely seen in the peculiar
susceptibility of men to ridicule.
They can stand any form Of peysecu-
ton sooner than ridicule, especially
from woman.
Fortunately. the witty women is
such rarity that the lords OF crea-
ton DO not suffer much from the ar
rows of her sssarcasm. Women are
generally devoid Of Wit and humor,
few getting On the outskirts Of fun,
but believe no woman was ever a
true humorist, like Dickens or Mark
Twain, and but a few have been
witty. Charles Lamb asserts that
jokes came in with candles, and I
can recall no smart saying or Wits
cism Of wemen OF ancient history,
though can but believe that among
her many charms Cleopatra possessed
Wit and ready tongue.
Good old Queen Bess has been
famous for her sharp sayings; and
none we're sharper than this: One
day while walking in her garden che
met Sir Edward Dyer, to whom che
had held out hopes Of advancement;
What does man think OF, Sir Ed
ward, when he thinks Of noihing?"
said the Queen, abiding to q book
called ''Tne Prasse OF Nothing" of
which LIE was the author. Sir 3D.
Wsri, thinking of the fsIlaey of his
hopes, replied: HE thinks, madam,
of q woman's promise. Fiercely
looking at the gentleman, the Queen
replied: Anger, sir, makes dull
men witty, bat it keeps them poor"
and msjesticalIy pursueth her walk.
Madame de Ssael, like Sheridan. had
a great reputation az wit, but few o.
her witicisms have been handed down
to an admiring posterity. She did not
possess the gift of repartse at sll,
Wien Napoleon replied to her ques-
ton as to whom Was the greatest Of
women, by saying, ''She who bears
her country the most children" she
missed the greatest opportunity of her
lie for making herself famous by a
witticism, but she simply said nothing.
However, We can forgive her much
for having so cleverly sketched
Taileyrsnd's character for US. In re~
venge for some OF his bitter Wit. she
said: "Telleyrand is so double-iAced.
if you kck him behind he will smile
in 'front.'"
Madame Grandt, beauty, but by
no means a bas bleu, in fact she was
VIGOROUSLY stupid, could rise to the
dignitysof good retoTt occasionally.
After Napoleon forced Talleyrand t {
marry her, he ordered her to appear
at court. The great emperor was
famous Tor his rudeness to women
and greeted the beautiful MADAME
Talleyrand by reminding her of a b!
no means irreproaohable past. q
hope" ne said, ''that the conduct o
Madame Ealleyrand will cause The
levities of MsdameL Grandt to be for
gotten." The beauty replied: :"
could not follow in this respect q bet
ter example than that given by
Madame Bonapsrte," a reply whict
revived IN the First Consul's memory
the gossip of the Directory and Barn.
coupled with the name OF the love-,
Josephine.
We cannot forbear from giving c
bon mot of the celebrated Peg Wolf
ingten, one of The best actresses anC
most beautiful women OF her day
who had the tennessee dorce OF Londol
at her feet, and even won the love c
David Garrick, the finest actor of tn
time, the friend of old Sam Johnson
Burke and Goldsmith. After acquir
ing fame and fortune, Miss Voting
ton educated her sister Polly, and
made lady OF her. She compensate
her by running off and marrying tn
J penniless nephew OF Lord -. Tn
pstrician family were Indignant a
,, the misallience, but Lord - after
wards became acquainted with To
I charming Peg, and yielding to thu
fascination OF the siren, told her tina
; che had reconoiled him to the match
, "My Lord" she replied, sit is VII
T should be offended, and not you, TO
before I only had one beggar to SUI
port, now have two"
!. No one who reads the works c
d George Eliot can gsinsay the Tax
Z that abe was both witty and hunol
b Gus. rare combination. The shar
7 sayings OF Mrs. Poyser are full {
= point and even wisdom. while th
sprIghtly Wit of Gwendolen and ii
. Merriok girls, in Daniel Deronda, al
of quite different order; for il Mr.
= Poysar's wit sAvors OF the GLOW,
fields and dog r1ses of the coun.r
I GWendolsa's has all toe faint epic
ness OF heliotrupe and the drawing
. room Il is said that George Eli
" ! l.