The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1883-05-02

cary home 70 him. My chum
wanted 10 smell Of the liver medi.
cine, 50 he took out the cork and i!
smelt just like in front Of a liquor
store on East Water street, and my
chum said his liver was bad, too,
andhe took a swaller, and he said
he should think Il was enough 10
cut a fellows liver up into slices,
but it was good, and then / had q
peculiar feelingin my liver, and
my chum said his liver felt better
after he took a swaller, and IL was
the awfullest liver remedy i ever
tasted. II scorched my throat just
like the diptheria, but it beat dip
liberia, or sore throat, all to pieces,
and my chum and me laughed, We
was 50. tickled. Did you ever take
liver medicine? You know how il
makes you feel as If your liver had
got on top your lights, and like
you wanted to jump and hoIler.-
Well, sir, that FLYER medicine made
me dance a jig on the viaduct
bridge, and an old soldier came
along and asked US what was the
matter, and we told him about our
liver medicine and showed him
the bottle, and be said he supposed
he had the worst liver in the world
and said that the doctors at the
Home couldn't cure him. It's o
mean boy that won't help an old
veteran cure his liver, SO l told him
to try pas liver remedy, and he
took a regular COW swaller, and
said, "Here's to your liyers, boysl''
lie must have had a liver bigger
than a cows from the amount Of
medicine he took, but l guessed it
helped him for he's better now
Then my liver begun to feel cur.
ious again, and my chum said his
liver was getting torpid some more,
and we both took another dose and
started home, and we got generous
and gave our nuts away to some
boys. Say, does liver medicine
make a Teller give away all he has
gotH We kept taking medicine
every Ave blocks, and we locked
arms and went down a back street
and sung, "oh, it is a glorious
thing to be a pirut king" and
when we got home my head felt
bigger than n wash.tub, and |
thought p'raps my liver had gone
to my head, and pa came to the
door with his face tied upin towels
that smelt like arnica, and slapp.
ed him on the shoulder and shout.
ed, "Hello, Governor, how's your
liverH" and gaye him the bottle,
and it was empty, and he asked
me if we had been drinking that
medicine, and he said he was ruin.
ed, and | told him lie could get
some more down to the saloon, and
ne LOOK hold OF my collar, and !
damned him in the ear, and he
bounced me up stairs, ard then |
turned pale, and had cramps, and |
didn't remember any more till !
woke up and the doctor was over
me, and pa and ma looked scared,
and the doctor had a tin thing like
you draw water ont of 4 country
cistern, only smaller, and ma said
if il hadn't been for the stomach
pump she would not have any lit.
Tie boy, and | looked at the knobs
on pas face, and | LATED and asked
pa if he had got into the hornets,
too. Then the doctor lated, and
ma cried, and pa swore, and |
groaned and got sick again, and
this morning I had the awfullest
headache, and pas face looked like
he had fell on a pickot.fcnce.-
Whc | got out | wcntto my chum's
house to see if they had got him
pumped out, and his ma drove me
away with broom, and she says
| will ruin every boy in the neigh.
borhood. Pa says l was drunk and
kicked him in tho groin when he
fred me up stairs, and | asked him
how l could be drunk just taking
medicine for my liver, and he said
for the to Go to the devil!" and |
come over here. Say, give me a
lemon to settle my stomach