davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-13

A Startling New Medical Discov-
cry.
A physician of high repute advises each
Of his patients 10 bay every month tick
ct Tor fractional part Of one) in the
Grand Monthly Distribution OF the Lou
isiana State Lottery. He has noted, after
an unusually large and varied experience,
that the hope Of winning one of the prince
ly fortunes tina; are held out as induce
ments to investors causes BUOY ancy and
mental clearness superior TO any allevia-
ton produced by drugs. He SAYS The Five
Dollars sent to NJ. A. Dauphin, New Or
leans. Louisiana, before the second Tues
day of each month acts as charm in many
cases.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-13
THE STAGE BALD HEAD.
A Delusion and Snare Of Theatri-
cal Device.

: From the Laran lie Boomerang.
4; Most every one Who was not borl
blind knows that the stage bald.heaf
is a delusion ard a snare. The onl,
Atwood, yard-wide bald-head We re
, member Oh the American stage is thai
Of DIpston Kirke, "a worn by the vet
eran CouldOck. Effe kllsier wears
her own hair and SO does Couldock,
but Ceuldock wears his the most. /!
Is the most worn. anyhow.
VIVA: We started out TO say is that
the stage bald-head and the average
stage whiskers make US weary with
life. The stage bald-hesd is generally
made of the Internal economy of scow,
dried so that il shines, and cut to fit
the head ss tightly as q potato sack
would naturally fit billiard cue. 1t
is generally about four shades whittier
than the red face Of the wearer. or
vice vess&. We do not know which
is the worst violation of eternal fitness,
the red-faced man who wears death
~ white baId-head, or the pale young
actor who wears 6orid roof on his in
teilect. Sometimes in starring through
the country and playing tel or fifteen
hundred engagements bald head gets
soiled. We notice that when q show
gets to Laramie the chances are that
the bald head of the leadins old man
is SO soiled that he really needs q
sheep-dip shampoo. Another feature
Of this accessory Of the stage is its sin
,.ular failure to fit. 1t is either little
short at both ends. OF it hangs over
the skull in large festoons and wens
and warts in such a way as to make
the audience believe that the wearer
has dropsy Of the brain.
You can never get a stage bald
head near enough like nature to fool
the average house-fy. A fly knows
in two Ia oments whether it is the gen
uine or only a base imitation, and the
b.ld-head of the theater fills him with
nausea and disgust. Nature, at all
times hard to initiate, preserves her
bali-head as she does her sunny skies
and deep blue seas, far beyond the
reach of the weak, infallible human
imitator.
Badness is like fame, it cannot be
purchased. 1t must be acquired.
Some men may be- born bald. some
may acquire badness, and others may
have badness thrust upon them, but
they generally acquire it.
The stage beard is rather dizzy as a
rule. 1t looks as much like a beard
that grew there as q cows tail would
if tied to the bronze dog on the trent
porch. When you tie a heavy black
beard TO a young actor whose whole
soul would be churned up if be smOk-
ed full-aedged cigar, he looks about
as savage as a bowl of mush and
milk struck with club.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-13
AN OCTOROON WIFE
Forsaken by Her White Husband
Falls Heir to q Fortune.


Over thirty years ago q young
gentleman of Brooklyn went to the
south on business. He was about
twenty four years of age and of an
impressionabIe nature. In a southern
town he made the acquaintance OF a
lovely and aimable girl. On his re-
turn TO the north he correspcnded
with her, and On again visiting the
south proclaimed his love and was
accepted. He formed a business con-
Dection and resolved TO settle in the
south. in due time he established a
home and married the girl Of his
choice. Three months after marriage
he was informed that his wife had ne
gro blood in her veins, that her moth
er was at that moment slave, and
that only through the kindness of her
father she herself was permitted to
live as free woman
He learned further that on her
fathers death his son would most
probably inherit his property, and she
aud the child Of which she was ex-
pecting to become the mother would
be slaves. Like a base souled villain
he listened to the talk Of his while as
scciates and resolved to abandon his
wife. He sold out his business, dis
posed quietly of all he had and de
camped. Months passed and the for
saken wife was left to support her
child as hest she might. One dav the
only legitimate child of her father
was killed in a railroad accident. A
few months afterward the neglected
daughter was summoned to her fathers
house. There her and her child lived
for several years, and on her fathers
death she found herself p 'ssessed Of a
large fortune which he had bequeath-
ed to her. By the advice of friends
who foresaw the coming revolution
in the south she sold the real prop
erty and invested all her money in
government securities When the
schock came she was safe. In 1872
she died, leaving her entire estate to
her son, who was cripple and never
married. In November last he died.
In the meantime the husband went
west and entered into business. He
prospered. married and had a family.
Ten years ago he came back to this
city, where he now resides. By the
merest accident he came into possession
of an old newspaper published in the
south, and among the deaths he saw
that of one tearing the same name as
himself. Comparing the age with the
time of his marriage to his southern
wife, he thought it not unlikely that
the dead person might be his son. He
made inquiries, AMI to his astonish-
ment. ascertained the fact Of his de-
serted wife's acquisition Of wealth, of
her death ard of her having left all'her
property to her son, just dead. As
heir. the father is about to begin pro-
ceedings to get possession of his dead
sons estate, and Brooklyn lawyer
has already been consulted on this
subject. The estate is large, and the
father thinks it worth while to submit
to the exposure to get possession of it.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-13
Why q Michigan Preacher Had q
Fight.

Fight.
From the Ludington Democrat
At Custer there is i'm progress q re-
vival meeting, at which q man be-
came jealous because the Rev. An
drew Faulkner asked all the other
members of the church to lead in
prayer except his wife. He told the
pastor of tie unfair Discriminate. and
warned him that if be failed to ask
his better half to lead of the next
meeting he would proceed to put q
head" on his reverendship. The
good minister failed to see the justice
of the demand and neglected 70 i'm
perfume the fellows wife to lead,
whereupon at the close of the meeting
the irate husband proceeded to ad-
minister chsstisement to the preacher
for his neglect. But the minister was
equal to the emergency and defended
himself in a manner that would do
credit to Heenan or a Savers.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-13

Fresh new prunes and all kinds of
dried fruits at Phipps&jCo. 1-36d-lm
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-13
Health is Wealth !

DR L. G. WEsrs NERVE AND BRAIN Treat
ness. Convulsions, fits, Nervous Neuralgia,
Headache, Nervous Pr oetation caused by the use
Of alcohol or tobacco, Wakefulness, Mental De-
preston, Softening OF the Brain resulting IN IN
Premature Old Are. Barrcnness. Loss Of power
in either sex. Involuntary Losses and Spermat-
orrhGa caused byoyer-exeruon Of the BRAN. sell
one months treatment. $1.OO box, or nix boxes
for $500 sent by mail prepaid on receipt or prlce
WE GUARANTEES SIX BOXES
To cure any case. With each order resolved byus
for SIX boxes, accompanied with SOU We VAL
send the purchaser our written guarantee 70 70
fund the money il the treatment does not effect
a cure Guarantees issued only by
Aug. Fs ischmann, Druggist, Sedalis, M.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-02-13
DR.. w HI TTIER,
RNR "a 0AAA

Treats all forms Of ,Veneral Diseases, Sei1
nal Emissions and Sexual Debility vi4
unparalleled succiS. Ncmatef ND an
eail q write; ani1Phlet& Cd nsala MIMI
Can refer to the medical uofession IN u
paxts of tie .Cosntxa. OHIO c.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27
LINES.
BESSIE LEE.

To Mrs. Bette Smith on hearing of the death Of
little Cappie, an unusually bright child six
years of age.
81 cannot make him dead,n
His fair, sunshiuy head
Is ever bounding round my study chair
Gone in his youth and beauty and glee
Lost to your sight DER the jasper sea,
Il ne beautiful boy, the dear delight
vi his fond parents hearts, he folded from sight
Like a ct summer flower, the gift of to day.
God gave, and the Giyer hath taken away.
DAILY IN fancy you see him once more,
Liu2h hing and singing, come in AT the door
with MSS bright, canning face and in his sweet wav
Sa. Home from school, mamma where ali the
long day
I've been good boy. See how can say
All about the black pony, and the fish in the tree
can spell and write. too, and Row you see
Ill 20 play with my sisters out there in the shade:
Wen be little green fairies that dance IN the
glade"
When weary with play he comes as of old
10 listen 10 stories you ofte n have told.
III the rred eyes close and yod kiss him good
night,
And lay him away in his snug little bed
With sweet benedictiOn on his fair head.
Then You talk of the days when man lac shall be:
80 proud OF your darling, never dreaming that he,
W no so loved the song OF the Golden STAIR"
Himself, SD soon, would number one there.
Sadly and softly Well pass the years,
In vain our prayers, in vain our tears,
IT, recall him back in the Heavenly land,
He chants his songs with the angel band
Dear, weep no more. Cappe waits for you there,
On tnat golden shore where no sorrows are.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27
Go to D. A. Clarke's for
the latest designs in carpets,
window shades, etc.
FOl0er'S Condition.

Washington, March 24.-Isaac Deland
father of JAS S. Deland, deputy second
comptroller of the treasury, died in this
city his morning in the Slst year Of his
age His remains will be removed TO
Galesburg, Ill for interment.
Secretary Folger is no better and is
confined to bed.
The Critic gives currency to the report
that Secretary Folger's sickness has now
assumed the shape of erysipelas of the face
and head, and that his condition is consid-
cred dangerous. While it can not be de-
MED that the condition of the secretary is
much worse than his friends would have
the public believe, the aforementioned re-
port can not be verified tonight The Of
fcials in the treasury department, who
hear from Secretary Folger daily, say they
have no information which would warrant
the statement that Mr.. Folger is suffering
from the disease alluded to. They do not
deny, however. that the secretary is much
FRUSTRATED and his system generally disor-
Qauized.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27
The Queen has Almost Re-
covered From the Effects
of Her Fall.
Lady Florence Dixie Now Be-
lieved to be an I'm
poster.
The Mysterious mo. /" in
Mexico Where the English
Can't Get Him.

London, March 2.-The Times points
out that the jury which yesterday at Bel
fast rendered ver,iict of guilty upon
Nugent, and twelve other members of the
Armagh assassination society, who we're
charged with conspiracy to murder, is &C.
cepted, as the authentic diary kept by the
plOtters, in which it was recorded that
a man had sworn, at the request of the
land league to kill q landlord named
Brooke.
The Times says TIE evidence on the part
of the government introduced at the trial,
certainly tends to give force to the gov
ernment's alleged repre- sentatives at Wash
ington with regard to the hostile speeches
and writings of Irish Americans.
Two anarchists named Matz and Dubris,
arrived here. Their object is to arrange
for great conference of socialists in Lon
don. Durbis eft for Paris to avoid arrests
The Manchester Guardian says: The
Queen, who heretofore attended the parish
church at Osborne. is arranging for the es-
Enlistment of private chapel there, and
saws the change is due partly TO The IN
creasing years OF her msjesiy, and also to
precautions forced on all prominent per-
sons by the Irish troubles. The court cir
cular says the weather alone prevented the
queen from driving out before yesterday.
The swelling of her knee continues to SUD-
side, and she has almost entirely recovered
from the ehecis of her recent fall.
London, March 24-Cspt. O'Shea, home
rule member of parliament for County
Glare, has notified to Sir Willism Harcourt
home secretary, that when commons assem-
bles after the Easter holidays, he will ask
whether Lady Florence Dixie, who former
~ hoaxed the public BY the invention OF a
letter from King CotewayO. and whether as
of result inquiry into the alleged assault
upon her at WiHdsor palace, have conclud-
ed that Lady Florence is an inpOstOr.
Paris, March "a Soldiers of the 1O8th
regiment, who were arrested on the charge
of socialism, have been found guilty and
sentenced to join regiments in the distant
parts of Algeria.
London, March 24.-The Pail Mall Ga
zetie's Dublin correspondent says the per-
son referred to as Number One" by James
Carey in his testimony at the hearing of
the assassination prisoners, is knOwn to be
in Mexico beyond the reach of English au-
thOritIes.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27

signs of turning medium herself,
for she has been able to see "visible
FORMS" one of which appeared to be
man Of middle-age. with black hair
and a long black beard" The d.
mensions of this spook's feet are not
given, but they will probably be de-
scribed, possibly photographed by
the spirit process, in the next hull
letins.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27
ADJUSTMENTS.

Amusements Of some kind are nee
essary to the well-being and happiness
of people. To merely work, and
study, and worry with the details of
business. without some recreation that
will exhilerate and recuperate the
constantly wearing and wasting ma.
chinery of our natures, is to abuse our
opportunities and privileges. Sunday
is called a day Of rest. But what is
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27

rest Z? The Old-fashioned, hard-shell,
blue-bellied fashion of keeping sun
day" furnishes no crest" 1t is kept
thus in a spirit of sacrifice, and is
harder work than the ordinary toll of
weekdays. Thank fortune that sort
of observance Of Sunday is mostly a
thing of the past. God may forgive
the parents who have tortured and
tainted the minds Of young children
who ought to have been playing in
the sunshine or the snow, with psalms
and catechisms, compelling them to
sit in chimney corners and look like
church deacons, but if they are for.
given, We think most any of us may
hope for mercy too. Rest is a change
from ordinary wearisome labor to
something enjoyable. This is the
object of Sunday. If you can enjoy
going to church, that is a good thing
to do. 1t only takes small portion
of the day, and very likely ydh may
hear something, which if remembered
and practiced, will do you good. If
you can rest best by going cunning,
there is NO harm in that, prOvid-
ed you 60 away where you will
not annoy people who think such
a way of spending Sunday sinful.
Fishing is better. because you can hide
in the bushes along the bank. where
more pious people will not be offended
by seeing you breaking the Sabbath,
according to their notion, and besides,
it makes no noise like shooting of
guns. Taking quiet walks or pleasant
rides is a good exercise for Sunday.
but young persons should be careful
not to he rude or discourteous to any
one, especially to those who honestly
suppose that they are the only ones
who are keeping the fourth command
ment. You should not keep open
your stores or shops, or saloons, ex-
cept for purposes or business common
~ considered necessary, because in so
doing you rob yourselves and others
of the "rest" needed. and because,
also, you are offending part of the
community, who, during the other six
days, do not offend you. and you know
the woe is pronounced against those
by whom offenses come. Finally, Oh
Sunday, at eventide, or upon retiring,
if not before, you should think serious
ly upon your life. past, present, and
future; see if your conscience is clear
IS 20 what you have done; mediate
how best you can rest to please not
only yourself, but others also, aud try
to pass the next. Sunday better than
this. Upon week days amusements
which interfere with ordinary duties
or labors should not be INDUCED in at
all; and never any amusements which
are immoral or wicked. Read this, and
if the advice is good, follow it if you
can devise q better creed. as may be
the case, we have no objections.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27
Granted Bail.

New York, March 24-Judge Donohue
decided that Conkling, who killed Haver-
stick, was entitled to bail at reasonable
amount, and directed that he be taken be-
fore the police magistrate for bail pur-
pose.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27
Boiler Explosion.

Knighstown, Ind, March 4.-The boil
er Of John Csssidy's fax mill exploded
yesterday. Con Cleary, the engineer, was
killed outright. Frank Brassins was in
iured, and died in few hours.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27
Passenger Train Wrecked.

St. Louis, March 24.-The Missouri Pa,
ci6c train. No. 4, east-bound, was wrecked
at Moniteau station, bya broken switch.
The engine, mail and express cars were
totally destroyed. The fireman, Frank
Tramie, was slightly injured.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27
YOUNG MEN,

YOUNG MEN,
Have you seen the lovely car
pets in the Congregational
and Southern M. j.. Churches,
sold by .. 81. Black & Co., La
tour block. =?
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27

SHILOH'S VITALIZER is what you need
for Consumption, Loss Of Appetite, Di1zi-
ness and ali symptoms Of Dyspepsia. Price
10 and rs cents per bottle. For sale by
Bard & Miller.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27

CATARRH CURED, health and sweet
breath secured by Shiloh's Catarrh Remedy
Price SO cents. Nasal injector free. Fol
sale by Bard x Miller.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27
0o,rt House Burned.

St. Louis, March IA Post Dispatch
special from Greenville, Ill says that the
Bond county court house burned this
morning. Cause, defective hue. The
records were saved. The loss is covered BY
an insurance of 600.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27
Damaged by Fire.

New York. March A.-F. j. HOLDEN
berg's meerscham store, 125 Fulton street,
was damaged by fire tonight to the
amount of $4,000, and the building $50
600. Insured.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27
FOOTLIGHT FLASHES.

Items of Interest tosPlay-Goers
From Everywhere.
LAMAR OPERA HOUSE
LAMAR, Mo.
Brown Avery, Proprietors
Full scenery. Seats 6OU
WALTON'S OPERA HOUSE.
BUTLER, Mo.
w. +. Walton, Proprietor.
Full sceI eny. Seating capacity 500.
Advertisements ~ the neau U, this column,
exceeding four lines, S. per annum.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27

WILL YOU SUFFER with Dyspepsia
and Liver Complaint? Shilow's Vitalizer
is guaranteed to cure you. For sale by
Bard & Miller.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27

THAT HACKING COUGH can be
SO quickly cured by Shiloh's Cure. We
guarantee il. For sale by Bard & Miller.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27
skinny Men.

"Weils' Health Remover" restores health
and vigor, cures dyspepsia, Impotence
Sexual Debility. 81.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27
Will Nominate Cutler.

Providence, r. l., March 24-The
straight democrats will nominate Charles
r. Cutler for governor.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27

taken French leave, with a board bill un-
settled.
WHATS.
III Joe only wants the mule?
If that divorce will be granted?
If Price is sick because bis solid girl
is?
Why the brilliant brunette gave it
up?
What about Jim Ragland's calico po-
MES?
How Harry Chiffon tore Bill McKin-
iey's clothes?
If McIlhenny appreciates the way the
Joke turned on him?
Which wanted 6nger-dips at the City
Hotel, Drue or Mckinley?
If they were joking about the wild
overs approaching marriage?
If Fat meant ii when ne told his lates'
mash" that he had loved no other girl?
How true these stories are thst the
Nevada correspondent tells on Onnie
Hurt?
When DR.. Henny's class in mesmer-
ism wil. give ih,ir first lesson, and who
will be their subp c's?
III that Young lady will obey the prom
Use made to her mother and make nc more
engagements with the "bad young fellow?
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27
Thick Heads.

Heavy stomachs, bilious conditions.
'.Wells' May Apple Pills" anti oliious'
.sthartic. 10 and 25c.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27
COMPLETED.

St. Petersburg. March 24.-The Russians
have completed the evacuation OF Kuldja.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-03-27

him his best room, and day or two since,
when he went TO look for the aristocratic
stranger. he found that individual had
taken French leave, with board bill un-
settled.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-01-27
You Don't Phase Us.

The other day we happened in ct
swell furnishing goods store, and seeing
in the showcase some underwear that
looked pretty good we asked the price of
it. The clerk, with an air that said s'I1l
make you gasp" replied:
That's silk, sir. It costs seventy-five
dollars set" I"
We simply said: Let us see it."
He took it out and we examined it,
tossed it back contemptuously, and
asked:
Haven't you something better?"
The clerk was the one to look aghast.
He said he didn't think anything better
was made.
WELL" We growled, stwe don't like
thai, and we sailed out, leaving that
clerk almost worshipper of ours, and il
hadn't cost US cent Boston Post.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-01-27

VINO CARES FOR EXPENSES. The cent
finds no abiding place in the South,
where it is Stunned as though breeding
pestilence. Rather than use the despised
cent persons gladly pay for most articles
trifitng in value fifty or one hundred per
cent more than they cost elsewhere.
Where the cent is employed On apple
may be bought for cent or two cents.
But, unwilling to use the cent, we pay
five cents for two apples worth q cent
each although notdesiring the additional
apple, and purchase three two cent apples
for ten cents. This is our economy, and
We boast of it and turn up our noses at
the North, where persons do not consider
it virtue to pay two or three times as
much for an article as it is WORTH
Arkansas State Gazette.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1883-01-27

AN ENGLISH BEAUTY.-Of Mrs. Corn
wallis West, Mrs. Langtry's chief rival
as professional beauty" in the Prince
of Wales set, correspondent writes:
Until was told which she was, sup
posed it was some opera -bouffe actress,
who had got into the place by mistake,
she was SO painted and powdered over
cheeks. arms and neck; her eyes were so
picked out with belladonna. her corsage
was SO docollete; her voice was SO loud
and boisterous, and her poses and her
gestures had such smack of the heroines
of Offenback and Lecocq."