Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-23
sHERMAN'S WEAKNESS.
The Venerable Communicated Chief and
the PRETTY 4sctresS.
ICo, EroroicaO Post |

The Venerable COnGnIanGer-jn-CR Chief and
the PRETTY Hctress.
ISan Francisco Post.
The return of Miss Alice Harrison to the
city recalls an incident of her career when
a member of the famous California COM
pany of four Or five ears ago, which may
still provoke smile from those who wit
messed the occurrsuce in qnestion. About
the time of Miss rs farewell benefit at
that theater General sherman was visiting
the city, and with his staff occupied box
at said performance. Now, whatever diff
ferance of opinion may exist as to the
military renown of the general of our
armies, there is no dispute as to his being
the champion kisser of the continent. In
fact. the hero of Atlanta may be
said to possess g mania for labial
salutations of fatherly sort, and is known
to frequently indulge in the proud boast
that he has kissed 80 per cent. of all the
pretty girls in the United States. His
caief of staff once computed the generals
monthly kissing average, taken by and at
large ali the year round, dry and wet sea-
sons included, at about 1906, or. say in
round numbers, about $4,000 kisses per
each kissing fiscal year. If the general
had only added babies to the list of his sub
jects, he would have kissed his way into the
White house years ago; but his reluctance
to waste valuable time and raw material in
the pursuit of his hobby induce him, with
the true instincts of professor of oscula-
ton, to select only the prettiest of the sex
for that honor. at the benefit referred to,
no sooner did Miss Harrison appear on the
stage than the old war-horse snuffed the
battle from afar and began to grow rest
less and uneasy. The staff winked at each
other, and soon their chief suggested the
propriety of going behind the scenes to
compliment the beneficiary.
We must now ask our readers to accom-
pany US to. the little Danish settlement of
Eericvland, On the borders of the Baltic, IN
the year 1881. A village festival is being
held, and as usual the distinguished visit
ors gather to salute the girl who has taken
the annual prize f. cooking and virtue.
There is a young american officer amid
the number, who instead of printing the
customary chaste salute upon the cheek OF
the village celebrity, folds her in his sky
blue arms and settles down on her froutis-
piece like hydraulic pump On an assess
ment list. The minutes fy by, and just as
the spectators are about drawing their
stop watches on the last quarter the young
officer comes to the surface again. AS he
RECEIVERS his exhausted wind The weather
beaten captain of a wreckinE crew ap-
proaches and says:
Young man. I'll give you your own
price to ship with me as a diver"
"And why?"
because you can hold your breath
longer than any man in the business"
We merely relate this little incident to
emphasize our story. The kisser was
young Tecumseh. But to resume. As
soon as the staff were behind the scenes
Gen. Sherman pitched in with the remark
that he hadn't kissed anything since break
fast. He was standing IL the middle OF
the stage with his back to the curtain, and
absorbed in beStowIng paternal kiss
upon Alice, and feeling like just admit
ted angel sliding down a buttered rainbow
when that i'm p.sh young lady saw that the
prompter was about to ring up the drop
Quickly placing her hands over the gener-
ais ear so he could not hear the bell, she
backed him against the curtain. AS every
one knows this is wound around huge
wooden roller on the inside of the canvas
The generals coat tails were caught by thi:
as the curtain went up, and before the
prompter could reverse the motion the as
tonished man was suspended about ter
feet from the stage like sheet from {
clothes line. The audience went off int
Mysteries of merriment, while the mem
bers OF the staff lay down on the floor OF
their box and absolutely how led, for the.
only knew that those convulslveiy clutch
ing legs and venerable CATERS belonged tt
the COMMUNICATIVE chief OF all our armies
But the first thing we know the general
coat tails Will give way, so We viii RIM
down the curtain.