Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1883-07-27

!. VOL. XII.
WEATHER BULLETIN.
The following. reported especially for the
TRIBUNE, shows the condition OF tne Weaenel ane
ot the various points mentioned at 8 rs last eve
ming. Observations at all stations taken a' tno
salne moment of time:
Tenn D;rec- Veloci- state Of
Stations" Sssse- ssgs. f.ss W:ads e. Sss @ w:stAsr 9TH
SS;s9s S;$sTss :! Nv Nv FssSs Fsssss Clear Sisss
Assi"niboine. i;iiie. -.y
MoOrhead 80. ' ss"-.
st. Paul. :. '
Sergeant Signal Corps. U. s. A.
NEWS ws.CoMMENTs.
TRADE dollars are hard cash-the hardest in
the market. .-- --r- -.-.4sz -s
New YoRKs cloud Of gloom was increased last
week by S73 deaths and 14l marriages.
HIS friends are anxious to bet that Sammy
Tilden can swim the Niagara whirlpool and never
wet hair.
NORTH PACIFIC, 49A; preferred SO. st
Paul, Minneapolis & Manitoba LOS. Western
Union 8015.
TIE wife of prominent Louisvillain has
eloped with an editor. No cause is assigned for
the rash act.
MISS SUSAN B. ANTHONY and the dog days
will strike America simultaneously. Let us all
unite in prayer.
GEN. GRANT now spends bis leisure time in
reading his own obituaries and smiling grim,
expansive smile.
A NEW JERSEY mosquito was drowned off
Long Branch and was towed ashore and exhib-
tied as devil fish.
FROM throwing mud at each other, two Spring.
field, ILL.,, editors got to throwing brickbats on
the street. Nobody killed.
New ALBANY policeman is named Sleeper.
The ''eternal fitness of things keeps bobblng
up to the surface every day.
FOUR hundred Sioux are to be baptized in the
Missouri atlStanding Rock. This will make the
water taste of Injun clear down to Omaha.
Pope LEO XIII has published some of his
poems. This knocks the infallibility idea
higher than the price of a watermelon in Dakota.
CHICAGO is in tears and st. Louis refuses to be
comforted. The largest pair of feet in the
world has been found coupled onto Sandusky,
Ohio, girl
The editor of the Mandan Pioneer should
change the name Of his paper. "The Daily
Grammatical Kicker would be more appro-
pirate.
HAPPY marriages have been made on two
hours' eourtship. but Wheeling paper thinks
it is q pretty safe rule to know the girl at
least three days and picnic.
3 IT is announced that the department Of agri-
culture will open a strawberry farm next
spring. It must be the intention to settle the
national debt at one grand swoop.
VAGUE rumor is telegraphed that o Chicago
preacher stampeded a gang Of burglars who had
entered his house. He probably began to read
to them an old back number sermon.
The st. Louis livery stable keepers are to
publish black list of men whose custom they
don't want-nen who forgot to pay their bills
and who break carriages and abuse horses.
Hon. HUGH CAMPBELL, Rev. Joseph Ward, j.
b. Gamble, George 81. Hand, BARTLETT Tripp, @.
J. DeHarris and Maris Taylor, comprise Yank-
toms delegation to the state convention.
The Duluth Tribune says: I'm the Mime
touka regatta the Peerless and Moderty showed
their sterns to the other boats" If this be
true, that last name is surely misnomer.
A YOUNGSTOWN editor tells of a fight between
a fish and a snake. About one more drink
would have caused him to add an alligator or =
sea turtle to the grand aggregation of wonders.
IT may be sneered at a. newspaper lie but it
is nevertheless true that girl baby has been
born to family named Damnation in Omaha.
Let Us hope that her parents will not name her
Helen. .5N --.
AFTER standing for moment with f1ute
Indian between himself and the direction from
which the alleged balmy bree zes came Virginia
City reporter published the announcement that
Nevada could Justly claim the strongest man in
the world. g" - z'a.5>&
COMMODORE KouNrz is plating aud putting
upon the market an addition to Yankton. The
proprietors of the Yankton Herald have also
purchased an addition to that city. The sleepy
old town has actually awakened from its lethargy
and is yawning over small boom.
A New YORK man Of prominence drank
quart of apple jack, nearly pint of rum, went
in swimming, came ont and drank Quart Of
ice water, then some more apple jack and then
died. And then the doctor winked At the chief
mourner and pronounced it sunstroke
An honest Teuton of Milwaukee sues for di-
vorca ON account of the appearance Of q black