Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-08-14
NURSERY GOVERNMENT.

a wise Old lady sitting beside my hur-
sery fire with a benevolent eye upon a
very new baby, in very new cradle,
once said TO me Exact prompt obed-
ience and punish for disobedience, but
avoid raising an issue in which your
child'S will is pitted against your own.
This advice, although given from the Sc
rene heights Of experience, TO the equally
serene depths of inexperience was not
lost and as, one another the bristling
theories of cradle days were cast off with
the baby's out-grown dresses, its value
became apparent.
To conscientious young mother, ar
dent and alert under her new sense OF re-
sponsibility, it seems fairly puerile to
'avoid an issue She feels herself sum-
moned, as by trumpet call, to instant
battle with each invading fault; and
so she is, but there are ways and
ways. The question here is not whether
to secure obedience, but whether obed-
ience may not be secured without those
prolonged and distressing struggles be-
tween parent and child, in which child
often discovers his power to defy and
"hold out" against his parents.
think safe to assume that q well
child is usually happy child, and that
a happy child naturally inclines to cheer
ful acouiescence Il is, therefore, prob
able that in the MAJ ority Of cases disc.
bedience occurs during periods of petu-
lance and irritability caused by some
physical disturbance. perhaps unsuspect-
ed by the parent, and never comprehend
ed by the child. Hence it is in his mo-
ments of physical unbalance that he
manitests his worst traits and seems to
need the sharpest discipline yet a pro-
longed contest of will at such time ex-
hausts his strength and lowers his vital
ity.
Let me illustrate the working of two
principles-of raising an issue and avoid
ing an issue. We will suppose your
child of three years to have been kept in
the house by bad weather until he is
quite restless and irritable, and you well
come the first bright afternoon as a great
relief; romp in the fresh air is all he
needs to recover his serenity. "Now
pick up your blocks. Dick you say
"snd you may go out to play" AT th'
moment he chances not to be on amiablt
terms with his blocks; they have failed
him in a critical architectural moment
and with a scowl and kick, he disdain;
to pick them up. "Oh, but you must !
you say. He demurs; you make your
command even more imperative; he fiat
ly refuses. Now, if you cay, "You can
not 90 out to play until you have picked
up your blocks" you have raised an is
sue. 1t may be the threat will prove ef-
fectual, and he will hasten to pick ur
the blocks for the sake of going out, ant
no harm will be done. But if he is nat
urally obstinate, and if he is very cross
at the moment, you may suddenly fine
yourself in the thick of very stubborn
and inopportune fight. 1t cuts you te
the heart to spend the precious hours o.
sunshine thus; you look at his flushed
face and swollen eyelids and know that
ten minutes in the fresh air would sweet
en- his temper and smooth all difficulties
but you have committed yourself; you
have raised an issue; he has met you
squarely upon it; his obstinacy il
aroused you cannot retract; his will Ii
pitted against your, and you must not
yield an inch now. So, YEARLY and
heart-sick, you fight it out. The stout
little heart is not so stout as your hand,