The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-07-19
THE JOKERS BUDGET.
WHAT WE FIND IN THE HUMOROUS
PAPERS.
BEWARE OF DER BUCK.

of dust haf all plown der March Winds
away, We pcgin to opserye fearful peast
brancing der city apowd. 1t is der Wild,
undamcd Chermm pillygoat. Den dous-
and bucks pecn now alretty der door
Ways lurking insitc, der city all ofcr
Some pccn baintcd nit peer classes in
Won hoof somc are of kegs of peer on
dop, and somo are bicturcd i'll shargc of
poodiful young Chcman vimmcn vich
haf apparently seized der first pright
morning to vent ovid clad iii der ladcsd
sdylcs of night dresses. Vhcrcflcr is
Won of dem bicturcs der real Wild pcast
is vaiding i'll der sdorc pchind.
"He is as danchcrous as cirgular
saw turing pcrZncSs hours, but der
same dime he has Won of der mocl1nit-
cent drafts of dem invariably unloadcd
pisdols vich all dc vile shoot dcmscllufs
off und kill somcpody-.hc will not hurd
you uf you led him alone.
"Dcr first brincible of q buck is to
git man to chase it, md carly citcry
sbring Il larch numpcr of our pest cit
izcns bromisc dcmscllufs Hello here
comes up dot buck / dried to kill lasd
summer. Now, | haf sure got him.
Dem on der Cnt of each ploclk new
buck soc und dry if dem can knock it
ovid. lIiirry dime dem dako away
horn, but der horns pcen like der we'd
dor prophets of Canada; kill Won und
in his hlace comes right away annudcr
up. Dem chase der city up an down
und soon comhlain of ofcr work. and go
to GOn"y Island or Long Pranch, where
der cha&lrG is more pleasant. If dem
sdny der city insitc, dem 60 home dircd
oMit und say to der girl vlch dem hire
to tiirt nit der milkman und to subhly
der police NIT der pest the house Affords
Here. Pridgct, dakc der bail und SEQ
can'd YOU die der dahl pchind uf der buck
/ haf been chasing, und Pridget hrcs-
cndly rcdurns, vipmg her mout und
hants vot is left of dc bail to her en-
blOycr.
ave rcnt sometimes der barcrs insite
pad prcZncss apowd chasing der buck
so:
'Smsdrlck.
"A vindrr falls ovid.
) 'GarrlcSsncss of druck driver
5 Missing his home from lasd Dues
day.
"Found dead nit II VACANT lot insitc. :
and SO rmd SO.
s "Bevarc der buck. I'll is pudding
t your mout an enemy insite, und if you
| should swallow whole life Won, it will
h durn und kick your prains avay.--7Hc
t Sun.
: AN IMPRESSION.
= "Ah. | have an imprcssiun!' cX-
8 claimed Dir. McCosh. the President of
= Princeton College to the m"ntalphiloso-
t ply class. "Now, young gentlemen,
: can You tell me what an impression
q is!''
t No answer.
$ "What; no one knows? No one can
tell me what an impression isl" cX-
$ claimed the Doctor, looking up and
+ down the class.
l Il know, said Mr. Arthur. "An i'm
l ! preston is n dent III a soft place."
Y "Young gentleman" said the Doctor,
t growing red in the face, "you are ex-
cuscd for the day."
GONG HOME.
Now is the time when the tired bus-
I ncss man, on his way home in the even
I | ing, hcSitNtes over 25-ccnt box Of
I Strawberries that he knows would
gladden. the hearts of his wife and chill
! drcn at home. He buttons his pocket,
f | signs, declares he cannot afford it, and
, turning around meets two or thrco
, friends whom he Immediately invites
f to take something. The "8omcthinp"
, costs scyrGty-tiy~ cents. Nhcu he gets
h"m" H." f. IL, ii, vile about how nearly
~ 49,, ;,I' ,' - "
nI,,i; ,', ,.,, ,,,,.,, NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. ,'', ,''''O ~
I'yU& .\jfIinY$.
A,,.t,rnn lnrt twn Ioti'n, - tho ,,a;
L,1cr a. - CLica"n ,n;,,;.ior Il,v I',I, ~ &c
which contained an application for his
mnnv nt fine so,nr t;mn ~ ''i'-
81 b,rllv know What +o d. nLo 49,,
mori<rI to his wirc tT c'n,t w. o,,>e mu le-
i,tr Lnth T,rt mo 600 A." 'i'''lo- ho
lrrn mnrrird brSorr baS no ndf 9" ''"'
CON yrs "rcnlir6 L;a VITO .n,o ,o,.
ri, GrI wife siv mnnths onn y "0 'o''
"And Mr. r !. q horhojor9n
Yes.
"Ihat settles 1t, then. shall marry
Alr. H. When man marrlCS the second
lime ne never pay" thc munster any
more than the law allows but young
, n"chcior" are sometimes very l"0llSh,
, 'IHS .i' E""n i''''i' r''o''" III" ""'''''
| tlN.--t tUtf u.