Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-07-07

" Am Purveyor Hopewell IN de nall dl'
evenin' ?" asked Brother Gardner az the
meeting was called to order.
Yes, sah, replied voice from the
back row of seats.
" Den please step dis way.
Brother Hopewell shufiied forward with
8 mixed look of hope and doubt On his
face. He couldn't make out whether hi
was to be rewarded for pulling a stranger
out of the river the other day, or Court
martialed for having wheel-barrow in his
possession which three different mer
claimed to have been stolen from them.
"Brudder Hopewell," continued the
President, as great silence fell upon the
meeting, "de odder day l met you down
street, an l shouldn't have knowed who
you was if Pickles Smith hadn't identified
you. You had on a suit OF toys dat mus
have cost $40"
" Yes, sah."
You had ha'r lie OF yer ha'r, you smell;
of perfumery and yer card cane"
" Yes, sah."
When you walked you acted Ike s
man who owned half de town, an when
you stopped you struck pose TO show of
yer fgger. Brudder Hopewell, how much
money does you arm week ;"
"'Bout SO, sah.'
"An' how much am you behind or
board ?"
oil spects lie bout chen, uah."
Brudder Hopewell, you am in debt fur
board, fur cloze, fur butes, fur cigars, an
you has borrowed money which you can
pay. has had my eye on you fur de pas
three months, an 1 knows all about it,
Now, den, who am you
Purveyor Hopewell, sab
"'Zactly, 'zactly. You am a single
man, 25 years old, a second class barber,
not wort $40, an out of de 81 000.0 900 peo-
pie in dis kentry not ober 100 has cher
heard OBJ you. Now, den, you dress up
you swell around you fling on scollops
you try to deceive people into takin' you
fur pusson OBJ riches. What am your
objick ?"
"I-I-doau' know, sab" stammered
the victim.
"Brudder HOpewell. let me tell you
sumthin. When you fiatter yerself dat de
people OF dis kentry doan' know de differ
ence between de bray of de mule an de
roar of de lion you am drefully mistaken.
You have bin follerin' de lead of sartin
white people. l knows heaps Of 'em who
goes hungry an dodge creditors fur de sake
of blindin' peoples eyes. A woman
whose husban' Arms 500 per week has no
bizness wild silks and diamonds, a SIS hat
or 81 par of shoes, but she am de pusson
who'll have EN- fur fear dat somebody will
think he isn't rich. Half de kentry am in
debt fur cloze which only de odder half
kin afford. De woman who wars de best
cloze on de street has de moas' holes in her
parlor cal pet at home. De man who swells
biggest owes de moas' to his tailor and
bootmaker. You am poo man. You'll
nebber have 500 in bank as long as you
live. You'll nebber arm mo- dan huff to
run a small cabin in a small way, an yet
YOU am swellin aroun' as If a $50, 600
mortgage wouldn't bodder you half an
hour What's your Objick ?"
"I-I-doan' know, sab"
"Boy take off dat swaller-tailed coat T!
Jump outer dem tight pants Drap dat
silk necktie Den you go to work an fin
a cheap boardin' house an begin to pay
your debts. Let your cloze match your
salary. Let your board match your cloze.
Be what you ana common sort OF
pussen whose assets will kiver his iabili-
ties by hard pullin'-you can't deceive
anybody, an de less yen try to de better
people will like you"
Brother Hopewell retired to his corner
all broken up, and his first move was to
offer TO trade a handkerchief with red
border to Shindig Watkins for a white
handled knife with all the blades broken.
Detroit Free Press.