The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1883-12-14
Burdette on Home.
THE PHILOSOPHER OF THE HAwKEYE
DROPS INTO THE SENTIMENTAL,


THE PHILOSOPHER or THE HAwKEYE
DROPS INTO THE SENTIMENTAL,
talk about home because am rare
" there-and men like to talk most
of what they know least about. "There
is no place like home Even those
who live in boarding houses touchingly
warbe that song. Home is more TO
woman than it is to man. A man
who has no home is social tramp.
With woman it is different ; she
wants home but does not always
have a chance to get it. Woman feeds
upon affection. She is never happy
until she gets her ideal man and then
she is cast down to find another wom-
ans photograph and love letter in his
overcoat pocket
But a man gets his home-lot, house,
mortgage, mechanics lien ard all He
has all but the mortgage, and the mort
gage has him. All of mans life, ex-
cept what he spends at the store, club,
caucus, lodge or prayer meeting is spent
in his home. Man is great in bis own
house if he is not king, he is at least
prince consort. Many are like the
man who, on being nominated for lieu
tenant governor, said: "You have NOM
mated the right man for the right
place. | have been Lieutenant COVER
nor ever since | married"
| 1t is said that every home has skel-
eton but l don't believe it. 1t is only
thing af the Imagination. Some re-
gard a poor relation as a skeleton
but that is wrong. No man
is poor for fun he cant help it, and is
entitled to your sympathy. Homes are
brighter and better than they used to
be. Our wives make them so. When
a wife buys her husband diamond
pin for Christmas, it bright
ems home and the husband is made
happy by receiving the bill ten days
before Christmas. Husbands, take
your wives into your confidence it
will help you to success.
What is home without dog? II is
altogether too quiet. l took dog
from Philadelphia to Burlington once,
and rather than try it again would
take a pair of twin babies to San Fran
CISCO That dog wound six foot chain
around my legs and around the legs of
other men, in ways that were unac-
countablr. Some men are fond of
dogs They will pay S400 for a Cor
don setter and never shoot anything
but the setter.
Lodges are useful but too many
Of them do not make home happy. A
man in Iowa joined so many that it
took him and his wife all night to
count them. He sleptin his regalia, called
his wife Worshipful Master, and his
son, Junior Warden. He spent great
deal of his time marching in process
sions and in visiting the sick-especial-
ly ladies of sixteen and upward. He
was taken sick himself, and he was Wis
tied by so many committees that his
. wife was glad to get him well.
Fill your home with beauty. Peo'
pie ought to live in every room in the
house. ! have built great many
| houses-on paper-and / am at it yet
4 | would avoid the spare room. 1t is
cold and damp. There is nothing in q
spare room that will burn. / have OF
ten tried to warm bed in spare
room, but always failed If you have
{ any doubt about the spare room, ask
j your pastor he knows all about it.
We live in brighter homes now, anC
i live in better houses than kings for
: merly lived in. can say, with Tai
e mage, that was glad to be on hant
when this planet came along Ou
fathers were a lot of scalawags Clothec
in tin and steel they would go int
e a neighbor's castle, and rob and de
stroy. But now things are better l
J, a man sees another with anything h
J. wants, he makes a deal with him il
IS stocks, in oil, or cotton or what, ant
i he gets the property-but he don't dis
e figure the corpse. Only 100 years ag
i the last witch was burned in Scotlan
IL for getting up thunder storm by pull
L. ing off her stockings now man won
L get shot if he pulls off his boots in
rs parlor car. What man is there VIII
Is would like to have lived in l776
70 Eighteen suits me better than seventy
ID six The world is better than it used to |
5, and it is going to be still better whe
T. you get out OF it.
f. Every man should have den
IN room or closet-in his house, sacred I
his own use, in which no wife has
i'll rightao go tearing around--a den fu
On of precious letters, photographs an
unpaid bills. In your homes you mu
n expect troubles-it is troubles tn
ut make home happy, Troubles maE
e. better men and women, Enjoy yo
'r: troubles as they come along, Fill 30
l home with music. Buy your boy
'es fiddle, even if you have to stop yoI
,es ears. Buy piano for the girls, eve
he if you have a dozen Of them, and y,
an have one, two, three-one, two, three
all the day long,-Robsrt J BO
he datte.