The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-01-06
MARX TWAIN.
On the Daughters Of Africa and tn
Young Lady of the Period.


The New England Society in the
city of New York celebrated its seven
ty-seventh annual festival last Friday
evening. More than two hundred of
the members sat down to dinner at
Delmonico's, and the gathering was a
notable and bri"iant one. Josiah NJ.
Fisk presided. A After dinner speeches
| were made by Joseph IL. Choate,
Chauncy M. Depew, Gen. Grant, Gov.
Long, Of Massachusetts; Gen. Horace
Porter, the Rev. DR.. John II. Paxton,
"Marlz Twain," Senator Miller, of Cal
ifornia; VIM. f. Villas, of Wisconsin,
Mayor Grace, Com. Upshur and Judge
Lawrence.
Mark Twain's speech was on
"Woman," and he said: "The toast
includes the sex universally. 1t is to
woman comprehensively, wheresoever
she may be found. Let us consider
her ways. First comes the matter of
dress. This is a most important cou-
sideration. and must be disposed of be-
fore we can inteIligeutly proceed TO ex-
anime the profoundcst depths of the
theme. For text, let US take the
dress of two autipodal types-the saw
age woman of Central Africa and the
cultivated daughter of our high mod
ern civilization. Among the Fans
"a great negro tribe-a woman when
dressed for home or to go out shopping
or calling doesn't wear anything at all
| is her entire outfit. 1t is the lightest
costume in the world, but it is made
of the darkest material. 1t has often
been mistaken for mourning. 1t is the
trimmest and neatest and most grace
ful costume that is now in fashion. 1t
wears well; is fast colors, and don't
show dirt; you don't have to send it
down town to wash and have some of
it scorched with the fat iron, and
some of it with the buttons ironcd off.
aud some Of it petriled with starch,
and some Of it chewea by the calf, and
some of it rotted with acid, and some
of it exchanged for other costumes,
things that haven't any virtue but hol-
mess and ten-twelfths of the pieces
overcharged for and the rest of the
dozen mislaid and it always fits; it is
the perfection of a fit, and it is the
fandiest dress in the whole realm of
fashion. 1t is always ready, always
done up.
"When you Call on a Fan lady and
take seat you don't hear smauam is
dressing; she'll be down in three. quar-
lers Of on hour No; madam is al
ready dressed; always ready to receive,
and before you can get the door-mat
before your eyes she is in your midst.
Then again, the Fan ladies don't go to
church to see what each other has got
n, and thnx, f1nr3t ho, M =
describe it-slander it.
"Such is the dark child of savagery
as to everyday toilet, and thus curl
ously enough she finds point of cor
tact with the fair daughter of civiliza-
tion and high fashion who often has
nothing to wear,' and thus these wide
ly separated types of the sex meet up
on common ground.
"Ycs. such is the sFan' woman as
she appears in her simple, unostenta-
tions, everyday toilet; but on state oc-
casions she is more dressy. AT a BAN
quet she wears bracelets, at a lecture
she wears earrings and belt, at ball
she wears stockings, and, with true
feminine fondness for display, she
wears them on her arms. At we'd
ding the bride who can afford it puts
on pantaloons. Thus the dark child
OF savagery and the fair daughter of
civilization meet once more upon COM
mon ground, aud these two touches Of
nature make the whole sex kin.
"NOW we will consider the dress of
our other type. Some civilized women
would lose half their charm without
dress, and some would lose all of it.
The daughter of modern civilization,
dressed at her utmost best, is marvel
of exquisite and beautiful art and ex-
pense. All the lands, all the cIimcs,
and all the arts are laid under tribute
to furnish her forth. Her linen is
! from Belfast, her robe is from Paris, or
Spain or France; her feathers are from
! the remote regions of Southern Africa;
her furs from the remoter home of the
! iceberg and the aurora; her fan from
Japan, her diamonds from Brazil, her
bracelets from California, her pearls
from Ceylon, her canoes from Rome
She has gems and trinkets from buried
Pompeii, and others that graced come
~ Egyptian forms that have been dust
and ashes for forty centuries. Her
watch IS from Geneva, her card case is
from China, her hair is from-fron-i
don't know where her hair is from;
never could find out. That is, her
other hair, her public hair, her Sunday
hair. don't mean the hair she goes
TO bed witt. Why, you ought to
know the hair ! meau; il is that thing
which she calls Il switch, as much as it
resembles a brick bat, or Il shot gun, or