South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1883-01-05
WIT AND yIUs1oR.


was going on there about that time, and
it was not an easy matter to obtain 4
jury. One day vas summoned to act
ia that capacity, aud repaired TO court
To get excused. GA my mama being
called 1 informed his honor. the Judge
that was not a freebooter, and there
fore. not qualified TO serve.
Il 40, stopping for the time being at
this place
You board st the hotel, presumed,
4 take my meals there, but ;ayc
rooms in another part OF the town.
where lodge
so you keep bachelors halis'
Yes sir
'How long have you lived in that
manner?'
About six months
Il think you are qualified gravely
remarked the judge, Cor / have neve,
known man to keep bachelors hall
the length OF time you name who had
not dirt enough in his room TO make
him q freehoider. The court does not
excuse you Tioga Agitaior.
How dear 10 ny hesrt is the sthoo! Ia;,ended
And how /; remember, SO distant aud dim.
That red headed Bill aud the pin that Blended
And carefully put on the bench under himl
And how recall the surprise of the niss,er,
When Bill gave yell and spraug NJ with the
pin
So high that bis bullet head busted the
plaster
Above, trd the scholars all act up n grin
That active boy Billy, that high leaping Billy,
That loud-shouiing Billy that sat on pin
Ameriega Queen.
The CoURTs MIsTAKE.-Judge DA-
WIS used 10 tell acme admirable sto-
ries Of an old Illinois judge, one of
which has been going tho rounds Of the
press. IL seems that a certain Judge was
rather remarkable for conveying to ju-
rors IN his charges TO them his own o.
pinions with regard to the merits OF
the case. La one case lie had done so
with great plainness, but to his amaze
ment the jury hung out for hours with
out coming 10 an agreement. Tue
judge inq lired Ct the bailiff what was
the matter, and learned from him tina,
one Of the Jurors was hanging out "a
gainst the other eleven. lie sent for
the jury at once. and stating to the ju-
roTs that lie he'd plainly minated how
the case ought TO be decided, said be
understood one juror was hanging GU,
against the other eleven. He proceed.
cd 30 rebuke the juror sharply.
The obstinate juror was nervous little
man, and as sorn a. The judge was done
he srosc and said: Judge, may / say
word?' Yes Sir said The indignant
judge; what have you to say? We'll,
what | wanted to say is AIN The only
felicr that's on your side
a farmers wife hustled into store
UP the Hudson few days ago aud
went for the proprietor with, -
Mr. Davis, l bought six pounds OF
sugar bere the other day, and when
got it home found stone weighing
three pounds in the pachage!'
Yes maam.'
Can You explain such q swindler sir?'
i think can he placidly replied.
When | weighed your eight pounds Of
butter the other dag found a three
pound stone in the crock, and when
weighed your sugar the stone must have
slipped into the scales. We are both
growing old, Mrs. Jones. and l presume
our eyesight has become more or less
affected
She looked at him for h,lf minute
over her brass bound spccIaccs, and
then said she had three dozen eggs
which she wanted to exchange for hooks
and eyes and red shirt buttons
a SOUTHERN paper says the girls
of The sunny cline describe Chi world
as one OF hustle, toll anil caro-. We
ngrce with tbcm--thc women have an
the hustle, the men tic toll aud care.
AN anecdote is. tod Of an eminon.
architect who was under cross.exam
nation 10y keen lawyer, who wishc q
to detract from the weight Of his lcsti.
mony, and after asking him what was
his L0mc, procee led: