River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1883-12-06

talns, from which, TO my knowledge, ne
never returned.
Charles Wyndham's Scrap-bOOk'
From the Boston Transcript.
Charles Wyndham, the Electric
Light Comedian" as Howard Paul has
chrstened him, and which appellatior
will stick to him in the United States
like all popular men, receives vast
number of letters frome minent and clev'
err people who have made their mark III
literature, science and art. Many of these
are necessarily destroyed, but few are
saved, and his secretary pastes them in
a huge scrap book; 1T the end of this
formidable volume is a division, in which
many of the wits and wags of London
have written sentences, maXims, thought
and savings, with their autographs APP
pended Here are some of the most
pungent bits
By Horace Mayhew-There are two
reasons why we don't trust man; one,
because We don't know him, and the
other because we do. Promise Of mar
riage is like precious china, man has
are very many things which men with
coats worn threadbars dare not say.
Some sentences by w S. Gilbert-fhe
real pale of civilization is the ice pale,
with a bottle of Dry Monopole IN 1t. |
met Japanese t'other night at the Tray
eler's club. He had never tasted cham
payne, and ON putting away the third
lumber he sQueaked out in his odd ORR
entail voice, Civil cation very good.
like civilization"
1t is no misfortune for nice young
lady to lose her good name if a nice
Young gentleman gives her better one.
"HiC, h@c, hoe" The grammar is
wrong. The HE usually comes after the
hoe.
What is next to the hearts core Of ey-
erv opera singer? An encore.
The chasm that sometimes swallows
up wit-Sarcasm.
When light haired mans locks turn
gray he's getting on to fifty. When they
begin to turn black he's getting on to
sixty.
Extract from letter by the late Hen
ny s. Leigh: 1t is altogether too ab.
surd to say that man is not perfect.
Who is there who has not met with
many who were perfect strangers, some
WHO we're BClitCb ietcLfli1 ttlAN q ~ " WV
were perfect fools"
From poor Author Matthison. author
ofthe Great Divorce Case" Miss de-
sires you to engage her for soubrettes,.
but fear she is of an uncertain age,
which means her age is quite uncertain
certainly forty, if she is a day, But
she is still kttenish and risky, and,
when made up, resembles an aptiquated
hovden of the period of George ~.
Have a talk with her, and observe her
airs and graces. She'd make splendid
character in comedy"
Some extracts from Henry j. Byron
A girl at school would like to have two
birthdays every year. When she passes
thirty she objects to having even one.
s'The parentage of a lie is the most
difficult of all TO trace. 1t is, indeed, q
clever lie that knows its own father.
"The worst kind Of borrower Is he
who borrows with the intention OF re-
paying; for you know to a moral certain
ty that he intends TO borrow again.
eff England were a paradise. still you
would find Englishmen grumbling."
From a letter-"0ur friend, Jack
SmaIe, who is twenty-one, has married
a widow of forty, but she is in admirable
preservation. After the wedding some
kind female friend informed him that
his wife had fondly nursed him and
tended him when a mere babe. At first
he was disposed to be shocked, but
thinking better OF it he quietly observed,
'On revient touiours ses premiers am
ours and went off to dine with Sidney
Airport at the Continental.
From Kate Stanly, dated Seville,
Spain, lSS1.-''It is an entertainment
to see a Spanish lady OF the. higher type
use a fan. She knows its mechanism,
she can finger it wed. and by the grace
of her fan she is an actress. All. the
fan? Tis hope, a festival, a promise,
denial, menace, pardon. 1t blames,
it praises, it approves, it encourages, 1t
persuades. 1t is laughing, ironical, scoTn-
full, graceful, charming. You may open
it, close it, agitate it, raise it, lower 1t.
Ii, Iuay be used TO show to advantage
beautiful hands. 1t may be used for
eyerything--for peace or for war, for
partee, for interrogation, for malace or
for perfuy. Take aim, fire. The mus
ket kills, the fan wounds"
From Florence Marryat, the novelist
"Be contented with your lot, especially
at an auction.
''The darkest hour las a rulel is just
before the gas is lighted.
you cannot do without money; you
may do without mother-ln-law.
"Miners are always civil, for civilty
costs nothing.
''Be satisfied with things as they are;
take the crust With the cTumb
Elf you are in public Office, he
punctual-at all events in leaving.
Extract from a letter by the late E. A.
Sothern: Dear Wyndham: Pink Dom
inoes' very drol and model of con-
structiOn. Can you spare me q small
box for Saturday night a fellow
shouldn't repeat his own wit, but know
you like good put pun / Was at par
tv at Payne's the banker, t other night
and his wife is certainly a superb crea-
ture. Mrs Bancroft, who was there, di-
rected my attention TO her and said
isn't she lovely She ought to be q
countess!' Why, certify, | replied,
''but as her hubby is big banker, she
prefers, perhaps, to be Il discountess. y
How is that for Duudreary, and before
supper too?''
4 sentence by Lord Beacousfeld =
"And what q worker is Wyndam! lie
has an exceptionally glnttonous appe-
tite for steady toll / believe
in Molliere's maxim, that the ''best the
atrical work is that which pleases the
most. Montague Cory laughed
heartily like a boy at the Pink Dominoes
and [ WAS q good second. l went back
to the house refreshed, and indulge q
ii a LATE sitting.
IosaY,b Proctor rms, ,srtrr vs...ll I.no,,,t