davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
II. G. RADCLIFFE,
Church Directory.

Reformed Church-Rev. II. Wissler pas
tor. Weekly Lectures Tuesday evening"
Meeting of Ladies' Aid Society every second
Wednesday evening. Regular services by
appointment from the pulpit
Lutheran Churcll-Rcv. w. c. Wire. pas
tor. Services Sunday 10 A. n and $50
NJ. Sunday School, 2. P. NJ. Prayer Mee:.
ing, "Wednesday, Gas P. n.
Protestant Episcopal Church-Rcv. Ern-
est McGill, Rector. Services Sunday, ~ A.
n aud 3.l5 p. NJ. Sunday School, 900 r.
NJ.
Moravian Church, (Mechanicstown) Rev
F.. w. Shields, Pastor. Preaching every Sun
sl.y, alternating morning and evening
PRAYER Meeting every Friday evening. Sun
day School 8 O'clock, a. IN.
Moravian Church (Graccham) Rev. Z. w.
Shields, Pastor.
Preaching every Sunday, alternating NOR
ming and evening.
Mite Society every Monday evening.
PRAYER Meeting every Wednesday evening
Ladies' Sewing Circle every Thursday
evening at the Parsonage.
United Brethren Church-Mite Society
Second and Fourth Wednesday.
Sunday School 2 p. M.
PRAYER Meeting every Thursday evening.
Regular Services by appointment from the
pulpit.
Methodist Episcopal Church-Rev. D.
Haskell Pastor. Services every alternate
Sunday ct 1OA. NJ. Sunday School 9 A. M.
Pa er Meeting every alternate Sunday at Z
p NJ
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
ApinE she k.nElanh.
fAu,cri,.an OueNn

A good commentary OH the fashion OF aping
thu English in their manner of dress and
speech was tho remark OF little girl who
visited the Casino and looked upon its fire.
quenters for the first time. She was from
the south. but had been in England. why,
mamma" she said where did all these
English people come front Isn't it funny to
hear them tnlk just az it WAS in Brighton"
II is very cleverly done--this imitation OF
certain style Of Englshmen.
A young Bostonian know has acquired it
perfectly in five weeks. can fancy him
greeting you next winter in this fashion:
Jolly cold day, chi Esad Bottoms more
than hawlf nawsty this beastly weathaw.
Got a new fad, have, don't yau known etc.
Aud yot they say we are no linguists aud
this fellow has acquired a new speech all in
month. 1t is really very clever, as you will
see.
1t smacks Of the English groom, to be sure,
for the manly Enxlishnlen does not talk hike
fool, and they who are beginning to cult.
vate the so-called English pronunciation talk
very much like fools and make very funny
lap.es in unconscious moments to their native
speech. PLEASE, said girl to one OF these
ambitious young men, "say hnwlf- -pnwst,'
on half past, and not 'hawlf past, or half
pawst.'"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
Receipt fer . Duel
London Family Hsrnld,l

In the little town Of Rosenburg, = west
Russia, lived young and bot-headed lieu
tenant, who one day had dispute with a
clerk in the gov.rnment service. and sud
denly exclaimed: lyon know we'll enough
how to handle your pen; but have at homo
pair OF sharp swords with whie, can
write better" The other answered. "Such
playthings ought only to he given to children
who have nothing to lose." The lieutenant
then challenged him to fight with pistols.
Every well, the clerk replied, II accept
your offer, on one condition. You know |
have wife and childron for whom I must
care. Ny income is 4,500 marks II you
will deposit sum sufficient to yield that
interest, am willing to fight. In that case
you must place to my account !O, 900 marks"
But" stamn,ered the astolnshed officer, II
have no fortune" "Ah, sir. those who POD
sess nothing have no right to ask men who
must work for others to fight duesl" The
duel never took place.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
What Pulpit Popularity Means.
New York Tribune

Pulpit popularity has come to have false
meaning The popular preacher now is not
the one who stirs mems hearts, but the 6ne
who draws money. He is Judged like an
actor, by the receipts at the box-ottice. If the
pews are taken at high prices, If the church
can maintain itself i'll style and pay expenses,
the minister is u good card. He can command
liberul salary; perhaps he can figure as
star, andmake lucrative lecture engagements.
Whether or not his congregation show any
advancement in spirituality under his ex-
hortationy, Or his people learn to adorn thsir
daily lives with simplicity and earnestness
and truth, or the poor and unhappy find sue
cor and comfort at his door, are questions
which trouble the applauding public very
little They measure the popular clergy
mans success by secular standards, and h
is but too apt to accept their measure as
iliSt Ont.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
A Peculiar System OF Marriage.
IPall Mall Gazette.l

Life in the Siberian mines is not such an
altogether unmitigatei curse rs popular I'M
agination pictures it. From some Of the
greatest evils which men elsewhere have to
suffer, the convicts in eastern Siberia are
happily delivered. There is indeed marriage
and giving in marriage, but thero is no court
ship, nor need any man complain that he is
mated to a savage or shrew. When
prisoner wishes to get married, all he has to
do is to send in an application to the over
seer, who straightway allots him u wife.
Three days probation is then allowed, and il
any ln.pmpatibility Of temper seems likely
u arise the man receives twenty-five lashes
and another wife, and ~ Oh until he Is con-
tented.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
The Confederate Scal.
[Chicago Hernld.l

lCnlCagO aeThlu.I
The original seal of the Confederate states,
which is Of massive silver, is still in the hands
of an ex Confederate soldier, who treasures it
carefully. It consists of device represent
ing all equestrian portrait Of Washington
latter the statue which surmounts his monu-
nent in the Capitol square at Rich
nond), surrounded with wreath COM
posed of the principal agricultural pro-
ducts of tho Contederacy cotton, tobacco.
sugar-cane, corn, wheat>, and having around
it the words, "The Confederate States Of
America, Twenty second February, Eighteen
Hundred AMI Sxty-two," with the following
motto: "Deo vindice." The Confederate
monument at Magnolia cemetery to the
memory Of tho dead who fell in defense OF
Charleston bears OH one Of its faces an eu-
'larged representation Of the great seal ot the
Confederate states.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
Mechancsown Frederick County, Maryland Thursday Dec 6, 1888.
somewhat ablshed at talking before 70 many

somewhat abashed at talking before 70 many
people.
The woman burst into tearA "That was
my mothers bureau" she sobbed, IAN l
come here on purpose to buy 1t. thought
that bid the last on it. I'd made up my
mind to have it ever since mother died." and
she turned to leave the house.
Neighbor Barton, in state of great per.
plexity, ran after her. "Here," he cried, Il
don't want the bureau; honest. l only bid
on it fer the sake of bidding. You can take
1t of my hands at what bid fer it an well
come" And the good man went out to the
barn and swore at the hired man to ease his
perturbation Of spirit at being obliged to do
good action in public
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
Chewed Then, Up.

'where's my checks. Emma' Give them
to me quick. I've won on Eoie," cried George,
excitedly.
Cheeks" she SAIL coolly. "If it's then,
bits of paper you told me to hold, why
chewed them up minute ago"
George turned white as n CORPSE and told
her to come along home: he'd he hanged II
he'd wnit to see another race: also adding il
was blamed wonder she hadn't cllew'sd som
why's "ar cn
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
SONG TO THE SEA.

Let the wave-song Of Beauty be sung to Tho
sea,
Like the curve to her bosom It's rhythm shall
be,
As she filings her white arms with passion
ato plea,
On the death Of the shore-that No feeling
can free.
"Sweep over US sea.born the swell Of thy
sway,
For the songs that we sing are the perfume
Of play.
And the resonant breezes, like music astray,
Are waiting our spirits forever away.
"Above MS npassion-fow opens the sky,
And earth in its languor half closes It's eye;
For hours are but cloud-drifts that silently
fly,
And love is vision, and life is lie
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
The London "Masher.,

The Gaulois thus sums up the modern Lon
don 'n,asher:" He never laughs or puts of
an air OF WEAKNESS. One smile and he is lost.
He rises at midday and breakfasts on a sar-
dine and glass Of curacao; drives to Hyde
park in buggy, with high.stepping horse,
until 2; then lunches; then Tattersalls; at 8
again In the park on horseback; takes a
lemon squash; dresses and dimes at 8, eating
little, but taking good deal of "the bayn
0masher name for champagne; then the
Gaiety; then the ball, where he never dances,
but sits in a corner with his mashes; sups at
8; must never be seen on foot
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
The Use amt Abuse Of ltfchcs.
Henry Ward Beechcrs Now Lectarnl

k1euIJ w bIu DeeCLcT B NOW l/0CU1TDi
The worst use that mon caa make Of wealth
Is to hoard 1t. Riches TINT are simply laid
up, and that are never used, are squandes<od
Money is like powdsE-no good till it goes Of.
man who has large amount of property
and does not spend il, does not enjoy it. He
is nothing but a watchman of his own prop
erty. Now, hold that a man does not spend
his money selfishly who makes himself an
object Of admiration and affection In tho
community. hold that.a man has a right
to spend his money on his house. Bat where
a man has acquired house he ought TO make
It and his grounds beautiful. He ought to
make his house beautiful with books and all
the embellishments OF art. He ought to make
it the most beautiful place on earth to him
and his wife and children. The rich men Of
a community should then see to it that that
community fares well; that it has libraries,
reading rooms, with all the privileges Of
shade trees, parks, fountains-these are the
things that rich men should do.
It should be the business Of every young
man to deny himself Self 1enial is the royal
road to indulgence. No man will prosper
who is not willing to live upon the lowest, 80
that by and by he may live upon the highest.
Folks think that Il Yankee saves great dead,
but young German mentioned by the leo
turer lived upon less than Yankee would
throw away. And, as for Jew, he lives
upon what a German would throw away.
And q Chinaman lives upon what a Jsw
would throw away. And this is what all
this fuss has been about lately. II the China
man, when he came over to this country,
would have chewed tobacco and drunk
whisky and voted the Democratic ticket, he
would have bean all right. A man who has
lived forty years and has not competency
is nothing less than a criminal. He has
violated the fundamental laws of morality
What Is It lawful and Christian for a man to
do with his richest advocate, in the first
place, liberty to use 1t himself to mako him
self happy.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
PLAYING MAY AGAINST DECEMBER.

A Dry Goods Merchants Successful
scheme for Laying In . Fall stock
Of Cheap Clerks.
tR. K. Munkitrick in Puck.
But there Is another scheme for getting
cheap clerks that cle dry goods merchant
essays, generally with great success.
1t is this:
A young man enters the store, and asks for
something to do. The employer wrinkles his
forehead, works his eyebrows down on his
nose to give him the appearance OF bsing
capable Of pofound thought, and says:
$50 you want workF'
Eyes"
"Well, wo are full at present. How mach
do you expectF'
"Ten dollars week."
"Ten dollars week-$lO a week." replies
the merchant, sna;ching tho young mans
sentence and hurting It back at him like
brick.
eyes, SIR" says the young man; 1910
week."
Then the merchant lies back in the chair
and regards the young man with patronisr
ing air.
1--WE never give such q salary TO young,
fresh and inexperienced men. We can get
sum you ask. We have no use for boys,
because they are wild AMI more bother than
they arc worth. What we want are men Of
years and experience. We will give you %
per week.
The young man Accepts and goes to work.
Then man Of about 50 walks In and soicits
employment. The merchant lies back IN his
chair so far that, il he happens to be corpu-
1o,,f1 1,o ,i,,IS ~ tkot
out in front Of restaurant, with placard
on his under she'll informing the pedestrian
when he is to be served up. Then tho mer-
chant says, Us he did to the young man:
$50 you want workf'
eyes"
"Well we are full at present How much
do you wantf'
"Ten dollars week"
'Ten dollars week!" says tho merchant,
In a tone that shows that he is in condition
bordering on asphyxia.
YES sir" responds the old man, "Sl0 per
week."
Then the merchant lies back in his chair 20
far that he barely escapes going all the way
over and sliding along the floor on his spine.
"We never give such large salary to oil
men, because they are slow and decrepit, and
in their own way. We don't care for old men,
because they have old ideas and are way be-
hind the times For the sum you ask we can
get bright young men with the light Of the
morning of life in their faces. They have new
ideas, and arc full OF vim, and can work five
times harder and longer than tho fossils who
base their claims on an experience that might
have been valuable in lS40 What We want
arc live young men. We will give you Sc
per week."
The Old man accepts. And this Is tho way
the merchant plays December OIL against
May, and May or against Dece:ibor.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06

BALTIC. g. G. V. RAILROAD.
Trains leave Edgemont for Waynesboro,
Chambersburg and shippensburg daily ex-
cept Sunday at 7.35 and 40 A. M. and 735
P. NJ. on Sunday at 8.55 a. m and 3.55 P. NJ.
Trains for Edgemont leave daily Shppens-
burg at $40 A. NJ. and 12 .25 and 3 25 p M,
Chambersburg at Z Is A. NJ, LOO and 4.3O
P. M.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
A New Figure.

The Rockford Register, telling of the sui
eide " II rash young man, says: AT the
age OF :,3 young, handsome, and talented. he
was overtaken by the bitter pill Of sd-
selrity,'
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
A WICKED JOKE.
How the Oil Exchange Dude Was
Imposed Upon.
fNew York Tina1


The members of the oil exchange are
rather swell set Of young men, but the lead
In the matter Of clothes is taken by the youth
known as "the dude" whose name is with
held for the sake of his relatives. THIS dude
strolled into the exchange during the dull
hour yesterday, and Solomon in all his glory
was never ar-ayed like one of him. To be-
gin near the bottom, his feet the dudes, not
Solonlons) were encased in the glossiest Of
patent heathers; his trousers fitted like the
paint on lamp post; his coat had never =
crease from tail to top; his linen was
starched until it shone and his collar was per-
fection itself and raised his chin 80 that he
could only gaze at the floor at the hazard
Of cutting his throat. But his tout ensemble,
30 to speak, was completed and SGT Off by tho
darlingest silk hat imaginable, with the
broadest and most curling Of brins and a
beautifully bulgent top. Altogether he was
radiantly, dazzlingly beautiful
The dude stopped near tho middle OF the
floor, struck an attitude much affected by
garden statuary, and gazed serenely and
pityingly upon his commonplace fellow
brokers' But, horror of horrorsl A ride
man came behind him and jerked the silksn
tile from his heal, and the next moment Il
wns thrown to the floor, had received q
vicious kick, and a dozen brokers were
running after it They surrounded 1t, scufled
for 1t, away it sailed again toward the ceiling
with the entire membership Of the exchange,
save only the owner, in wild pursuit Round
and round the floor gamboled the merry
brokers with the hat before them. Now 1t
was suffering in their midst, then it shot over
the floor in desperate efforts to escape, only
to be again overt0ken, trampled, kicked, and
trodtien until 1t presented an appearance as
ii 1t had been lain down on by a COW and
then spent a summer under o dust-heap, and
the gay brokers were tired out aud perspir-
Ing.
The dude during this terrible period stood
aghast, and, with horror depicted In every
feature, turned in frozen despair as tho gam
bols Of his wicked associates led them to the
four cardinal points Of the rooms compass
But when grinning messenger boy brought
him the battered corpse of his precious dicer
he forced smile which was only desolate
mockery Of happiness and remarked:
"Aw dawn't care anyway. It was an old
hawt."
Then the rude man who had torn the tile
from the unhappy adolescents head ap-
preached and handed. him the silkeu hat TN
injurrd, and the dude learned that he had
been the victim OF a wicked joke. An old
hat had been substituted on tie floor, while
the joker held the victims tile behind his
back. And 1t came to pass that the noise Of
unholy laughter was SO great as.to jar the
ticker into the tape-basket, and the dude will
wear a Derby hat to-day and forever after
while on the floor Of the exchange.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06

"Never mistake perspiration for inspira-
tion," said ap old minister in his charge to
young pastor just being oi,IalneL
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
Jay GOuld's Tomb.
PHILADELPHIA Times. |

Jay Goulds tomb is almost flushed. Iii
of ample size. being constructed to hold
twenty boiies. 1t Is elaborate in its work.
manship and finish and perfect IN all its op.
pointments. The illustrious millionaire bio
graphsr nf himself is now prepared Tor any,
thing that fate may bring. II b.. wauts to
stay at home he has houses, la11l -;
yacht ready to leaveH
Aud now If he WI
any crazy person
dynansiae Or p0wd1
warrantsAto hol.l
airt AMI tV eutwis
duStrirms houls vi
furnish.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06
TRAINS GOING EAST.

Y>O take effect Monday August 27,
1888
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1883-12-06

A temperancel
banquet out Wy
csup.st: TN
d,tss. their vi
but instead
"stinulald
good ctn
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-12-14

The Kansas City Indicator says of
the condition of crops, in its issue of
December 9Th: Special reports furn-
ished the Indicator since the last issue.
from Y counties in Kansas, Western
Missouri, Southeastern Nebraska and
Southwestern Iowa, convey the very
gratifying intelligence that the grow
ing wheat crop never had better prom.
ise at the beginning of winter. The
acreage, judging by the returns, is con-
siderably increased, while the. splendid
weather of the past two months has in
sured such growth that there is little
danger of winter killing. As to the
corn crop now being gathered, there
seems to be wide difference in opir-
ion among correspondents in the same
counties, but the general tenor of the
reports go to show that the crop is fully
equal to last year. though the quality is
below the average, and the weather has
been unfavorable for drying out the cob.
a feature of this years crop is that the
uplands have yielded much better than
ever, while the bottom land in many 10
calities has not done as well. This is
due, no doubt, to the vet spring and
consequent late planting. OF swine,
there seems to be still an abundant sup
ply in this market for the entire winter
packing season.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-12-14

Hiawatha World: The sun will soon
go down on the most prosperous year
the state has ever seen, following but
not ending a series of years of constant
and augmenting good fortune. The
proofs are visible all around us in i'm
mense crops of corn, wheat and other
products; in cattle, hogs and horses;
in new farm residences and barns, Or
chGrds and groves; in the growth of all
the towns, in the multiplications of the
school houses and churches, and in the
extension of our railroads, mines and
manufacturing industries. Peace and
prosperity everywhere - on the very
fields where We saw war, desolation and
poverty; no schools, no churches, the
cottonwood shanty, saloons at the cross
roads and money per cent. per month.
Now the debts are paid, the mortgages
cancelled, there is a balance in the bank,
and golden corn is deposited i'm thous-
ands of miles of plethoric corn cribs.
The Acknowledgements land has leap
ed up to $40, $40 and $50 an acre, and
the average Kansas man is a purse
proud ariStOcrat in 1888.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-12-14
The Future of Beef.

Those who think the production of
cattle in this country is likely to be over
done forget that beef is now, as it nev-
er was before, the staple meat of the
masses. After all has been said that
can be said about the growing consump-
ton of pork, and mutton, and poultry,
it remains without dispute that the ra-
ito of increase in the use of beef is
without parallel in the history of ami
NAL foods. The preference for beef is
confined to no climate, to no season and
to no one civilized people. 1t is the
meat of the world. The consumption
of beef has, beyond question, grown
much more rapidly within the past ten
years than has the production of cattle
We talk about the exhaustless supplies
of cattle on the plains, and yet, includ-
ing oar export trade, the draughts made
ON this stock for butchering purposes
are becoming proportionally heavier
each year. Men can easily pay too much
for cattle in stocking UP fer heavy pro-
duction, but as to the numbers they pro-
IL
the matter is likely to be overdone. All
big stories to the contrary, notwith-
standing, the best regions for produc.
ing beeves cheaply have been taken up.
The public lands hold out but slender
inducements in districts not already oc-
cupied by the rowing herds of the ranch
man. True, some of these places can
be more heavily stocked, but careful
stockmen are not likely to carry this to
the extreme of overcrowding the range.
On the other hand, the ranchman in
many places finds himself crowded out
by the march of agricultural develop
ment. The farming operations of this
country require more room every year,
and this room is taken off Of the terri
tory available for ranching. In Kansas,
Nebraska, Wyoming, Texas, and else
where, such ranch lands as are tillable
are being broken up for crops by p1on-
eer farmers, and this process of con-
traction will undoubtedly continue right
along as the country grows older and
more wealthy. An effect of this is al
ready seen in the fact Oregon, and 9th
er regions which once furnished unlim-
tied supplies of stockers, can no longer
fill the demands made upon them in this
line. OF course western farmers are al
most certain to be stock-raisers, but,
admitting this, the growing of beef in
many parts of the new west gives evil
dence of having passed IT'S maximum
point in the matter of numbers. Where
then, is the feared excess of beef in
this country to come from ?-Pit.sburgh
Stockman.