News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-10-04
THE OLD SETTLER.
His Resolve to Tmpoverish New Hampshire
ii story of Bear Cub.

cts a long step twixt Pike county
an N Ham shyre, but bgosh, if they
pass that law over thar to pay fifteen
cents apiece for ev'ry groun' hog Il Teller
kin kill, you kin iis' bate all yer with,
bOys-Or bor' the money, if you kin, an
make it twenty shillin'-that Tn iis' a
gOintCr moSey plumb to that agricul-
t'ral deestricE an double up the taxes on
them pertick'lar ole farmers, an make
'em sick"
One Of the boys had been reading that
New Hampshire farmers were taking
steps toward having the wOodchucks i'll
that State eXterminatCd, because the
ANIMALS had become so numerous that
their dcpredations on growing crops had
assumed alarming proportions. The
scheme proposed by the Granite State
farmers was to have a law passed author
lzlng the payment of bounty of fiji
teen cents on each wOOdchuck scalp
brought III to the proper authorities.
The idea seemed to strike the Old Set
tier as beng one that promised possibil-
tiles OF "sOft thing" and he grasped
it ut once.
Goshtlmightyl !" said he. " Fiji
teen cents apiece fur groun' hogs, an Il
sure market at that Sides, ez [ I'm 'er-
stan it, you don't hef to show up moth
in but the ears The hide an taller,
an the provendcr what sticks to the ribs,
IS all yOurn Ill fee simple, with all the
pWt'nances tharUnto b'IOngin', be the
same more or less. Why, b'gosh, that's
better'n turnin' up Il gol' mine, an all I
hope is that they'll iis' pass that law.
You wont see nothin' O. me round yer
aGln not fur year, boys, nOhow, an
then Ill come back with morn a cart
load o good Ole-spOndoolicks; an mort
cages an shrTf sales II be a durn sight
thicker i'll n Ham'shyre than groun'
hogs was afOre. Fifteen cents fur two
grouE' hog ears Why, boys, they
want never no groun' hog ez ever
chaw'd Il cl0veTpatch b'gosh, cz was
wuth fifteen cents, hide, taller an all -
II understand" said the Sheriff,
" that the ButtOngulper place, back of
Balsam Hill, is in the market. Nice
property for man wants to lead a
smooth, quiet, pastoral life, if he amt
afraid of snakes"
"Look-a-yer, Shurf," said the Old
Settler, slightly rullied, "was [ sayin'
anything bout ButtongUlpers, or Bal
sam Hills, OF snakes ? Want my tex
groun' hogs? D'you see anything IN
grom' hogs, b'gosh, to bring up that
ole ButtOngulper place? If you don't
wanter hear me talk, s'pOsin' you leave
us yer room, an take yer cOmp'nv
sOme'rs whar folks hain't got no man
ncrs.
"WelI, Major" said the Sheriff, ''your
saying that there never was a grom
hog that was worth fifteen cents natur-
ally put me in mind of the bear cub that
some one sold old Capt. Buttongulper
once, and which turned out to be a
ground hog. Let-me-see, said the
Sheriff, reicctively; "who was it that
sold the Captain that bear cub? Oh,
why, blame it, Major, it was you, wasn't
it? Certainly; now [ remember Fun
ny how that cub should turn into a
ground hog, wasn't it? That one was
worth more than fifteen cents, believe,
Major. LcaStways, you bought it back
for more than that, if l don't forget.
That was
Give noticed, b'gosh," interrupted
the Old Settler, " that some men is a
durn sight ditfernt sometimes than thcy
be at other times. You kin alIuz tell to
within the ninth part of an inch when
some men is candidates for slmpin' an
when they amt, an when Il man wants
to Dor Il dollar o you till t'morOw he
hain't no more like he is when You want
him to len you fifty cents till you see
him agin than Il tenpenny nail, b'gosh.
IS like hummin' birds bill. Some men
mOwt be candidates for sumpin', mebbc,
mex year, an then they won't never a
heerd nothin' bout bar cubs turnin' out
to be groun hogs, an the like o sech ole
things ez peoples forgot more'n twenty
year ago.
The Old Settler was calmly phiIosoph-
zeal, but he talked as one deeply injured
Finally his feelings got the better of him
and he turned vehemently toward the
Sheriff.
Who be you ! hintin' ut, Shmf? he
asked. - Ii you~ 1acun th4Lt L sold IL
grUun' hog wUnst, an said it was IA bar
cub, why don't you say 50, b'gosh g?
S'pose L did? Didn't it get mixed up
with some cubs had ez WANT but a few
days old, an want my eyes a waterin
SO, long % sneezm' with the AMY ev'rv
lurn second, that [ didn't notice that [
had the groun' hog stead of cub? But
don't you go an say, b'gosh, ez [ give
Capn Buttongulpcr five dollars fur the
Sroun' hog back agin, 50 cz he wouldn't
law me? Don't you go an say that.
5hurf, cause L won't have it, b'gosh
blmighty !"
" But Major, said the Sheriff, "you
lid give the Captain five dollars, and
took the ground hog back.
eyes, bgosh, l know I did !" ex-
claimed the Old Settler, humping his
cane. 81 know l gave him five dollars,
M took the groun' hog back. Why?
Cause | had sold all my cubs, an he
were SO durn disapp 'inted that [ give
MIN five dollars to go an git one some'rs
Use. But didn't he turn right roun'
mex day and pay me that five dollars for
I dressed lamb?"
Yes, - said the Sheriff, q believe he
lid. But I've heard that when that
amb roasted down into the same old
ground hog"
The Old Settlers cane swishcd through
he air, the door banged behind him.
md, for all the boys knew, he was on his
way to impovcrish the farmers OF n
Ham shyre by collecting the bounty or
| State full of groun' hogs.