Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1883-01-03
A John Spicer Lecture.


The first of the course of lectures in Barn
hall was attended by number of boys and
girls, all ages for there were, Stevie, aged
seven; and Maria, aged seven and half
and Juniper, aged eight; and Benjamin,
aged six and three quarters; aud Posie,
aged six; and Sarah Jane, aged seven and
nearly three quarters; and Whistler, aged
seven, and Jericho Qong for Jerry, which is
short for Jeremiah), aged eight lacking one
month, and some others aged quite young,
Freddie being only four. John Spicer him
self was aged eight and one month and
Dick, the superintendent, was aged nine.
Every seat was filed, and the superinten-
dent was obliged to ask Posie and Sarah
Jane to sit on the same butter firkin. At
the appointed time, the superintendent in
troduced the lecturer as follows: "Ladies
and gentlemen, have the pleasure of intro
ducing to you John Spicer. His subject is
Christmas-tree." A voice from the audience
said that a lecturer ought to make a bow
when he was introduced The superin-
tendent said to Mr.. Spicer that this was
true. Mr.. Spicer replied that he waited for
them to clap, for there ought to be clapping
when lecturer was introduced. The super
intendent said this was true, and suggested
to the audience that as soon as he should
say Ladies and gentlemen, | have the
pleasure of introducing to you John Spicer,"
they should clap. He then said, "Ladies
and gentlemen, l have the pleasure of intro
ducing to you John Spicer." (Cidpping.)
The lecturer then bowed to the audience
and began as follows:
Ladies and gentlemen A Christmas tree
comes in the winter when it is cold. A
Christmas-tree does not come in the summer
when it is warm, because we do not have
Christmas trees in the summer when it
is warm; we have them in the win.
ter when it is cold. They have presents on
them. Your father takes an ak and goes
into the woods and cuts one down, or else
he buys one of man, and your mother
keeps the door shut and doesn't let anybody
go in, and tits not fair to peek. When the
tree is all lighted up somebody lets you go
in, and it looks very pretty. Once there
was Christmas-tree and boy wanted to
try to shin up and get the things. You do
not shin up Christmas-tree to pick off the
presents you do not take stick and knock
them off you do not send up a stone. You
wait and somebody gives them to you, and
sometimes after you've had them they
break. Sometimes they fall down and
break their own selves, and sometimes chill
dren break them their own selves, and then
they cry. But you can't stick them together
again, and if you do they break off again,
and then you have to get some more glue.
zone of The audience. Once had jump
ing-jack hung and 'twouldnt go any,
(AnOther of the audience. Once | had a
doll hung and its sawdust came right out
superintendent: The audience will please
not talk at lecture.) (7he lecturer: They
ought to clap sometimes at lecture
(Superintendent: That is true.) Zone Of
The audience: If the lecturer'll lecture some
more we'll clap.) (Lecturer: Son e,imes
the candles set the tree on fire.) (Cldpping.)
Zone of the audience: Oh no, don't clap |
We don't want the tree set on fire) (Super.
intendent: When audiences want to do just
the other way from clapping sometimes they
groan.) (Grodns from the audience: Mr..
Spicer will now go on and say something
good for clapping)
(Lecturer: Christmas-trees have candy
bags on them). (Clopping) Sometimes
candy-bags have little bit of candy and
too many popcorns and peanuts in them.
(Groans). Some boys have great many
presents, and so do some girls and some
have only two or three. Sally Mullins says
she doesn't care mite about Bel Jones, but
Expects she's got to give her something.
should not want to get present that way.
(Clapping and cries Of No). Sally Mullins
says she has counted up all the ones that
ought TO give her presents. and she b'lieves
she'll have over twenty. Afterwards my
sister Dora Frances counted, and my mother
made her feel ashamed. My mother says
people ought to be ashamed to think any
body ought to give them presents. (Cries Of
That's So and cldPping). Dora Frances
says she thinks It's mean to be good to get
presents, no matter if your mother does tell
you to. mean Sally Mullins mother.
will now tell you a story Once there
was boy and he got a habit of saying bad
words. And he was cross boy. He was
not kind; and he pouted his lips a good
deal, and he said, "won't" and "will
and kept getting fretty and he used very
bad words. And one time he hung his
stocking when it was night before Christ
mas, and that night he dreamed it was
Christmas day, and thought he tried to say
Merry Christmas !" and he could not say
it. Every time he tried to say "Merry
Christmas - he said some cross words, or
else some bad words, and when the children
and people came to the Christmas-tree he
could not say "Merry Christmas !" to them
or " How do you do p but had to say cross
things and bad things and when the
Christmas tree was lighted, ard he tried
to say looks pretty" he said bad words
and when he tried to say "Thank you u he
said cross words; and when he tried to
smile, he twisted his face up into scowl
and when the children were singing a Christ
mas song, and he tried to sing, he made a
noise like swapping, snarliDg noise, or else
like squeal, or else like howl. And the
people said "Oh, what a pity Poor little
boy What pity His tongue has learned
to talk that way and now it has to talk so
Oh, what pity His face has been scowled
up so much it will never come out smooth
and pleasant Poor little boy" And the
boy went out into another room and cried
and said; "Oh, dear oh, dear r. And
there was cross-faced old man in that
room and the cross-faced old man said to
the boy "What are you crying for and
saying oh, dear for ?" And the boy said
Because have to say bad words when
want to say good ones And | cannot look
pleasant, and | cannot speak in a pleasant
way Oh, dear oh, dear |" Then the cross
faced old man said "Oh, yes / know
know Your tongue has got turned the
wrong way, saying bad, cross words, and
you can never say anything good and pleas
ant again. Never Never No; never
again. And your face will always have that
ugly scowl that has grown into it. Always
Always know know did that way
when was boy, and now-do you see my
face Do you see it 2" What the cross
faced old man said made the boy cry dread
fully, and he cried so hard that it walked
him up. Zone of the audience: What was
the old mans name y (Lecirer: That
man was dream man, and dream men do
not have to have names. will now read
some Of cousin Toms letter. (Reads.)
Dear John; I'll tell you a plan for Christ
mas. Let's not buy any presents for any
body let's save up all our money and buy
some nice thingsfor ourselves (Groans)
"Ill tell you a way to get presents. Go To
a good many Sundayschool Christmas-trees
Wen get something at every one. No
matter whether you belong there or not
Go for what you can get" (Groans ana
cries of'meanl mean , "Next day after
Christmas, when we 60 TO school, we can
hnd children that had hardly any presents
and have a good time telling them all the
presents we've had, and make them feel
very badly" (GrOanS and cries Of Shame
shame , "Oh, wait minute, Johnny This
I