National Republican., 1883-02-22


Patti will not sing to. might.
Dulcet Diva, sweet slgnoral
Try this on too much you might
People soon won't care a blank II
Patti cannot sing tonight
When one pays his good six dollars
For a seat, now is IL right
To say, because you've wet your slippers,
Patti Will not sing tonight
What, though Maploson will buy back
Tlckets-who will pay the wight
For gloves and coupes, fans and feathers,
1fPatu will not sing to-night2
THE use Of iron cannot increase the run
ming qualities Of a dog, but tin can.
A GEORGIA boy, according to the Atlanta
Constitution last year cultivated three.q quarters Of
an acre of land with goat, raising 233 pounds Of
lint cotton.
The cable system Of street car traction.
which is in successful operation at San Francisco
and Chicago, is about to bo introduced into Eng
land at Highgate.
A POET in Lppincott gives readers the
| shivers with the line Z" Cold swims the moon.
| light on the snow" The moon must have been
very FULL else 1t would have taken slide instead
| of swim.
In Newark and Hoboken tho husbands Of
|
expenses Of housekeeping are now grass wid-
overs. Fascinating bachelors are dangerous
| household ornaments.
A CALIFORNIA man feeds his family on raw
fruit and course meal. to his great satisfaction but
when he told an audience of poor men how cheap
| and wholesome such n diet was, they got angry
| and drove him out of the hall.
| "WAsN'T the boss little full last night p
| asked n customer OF The barber who was shaving
him. "Full7 Well should smile. Why, he was
so drunk that he tried TO find ont where ho lived
by looking In the Dictionary"
MAJ. A. D. HIT, bachelor, who before
the war was one of the largest cotton buyers in
| South Carolina and whose fortune was at one
time estimated at s800,0O died in the almshouso
at Columbus and received pauper's burial.
A LONDON correspondent Of Figaro says:
| ! do not think that any one has remarked that
Anthony Trollope died at the "Fixed Period -
the age at which, in his book of that name, It In
decided, after much discusson, that people arc
better out Of the world.
LORD TENTERDEN, at one time chancellor
of England, expired with these words on his lips,
| Gentlemen Of the jury, you will now consider
your verdict" Lord Hermand, the Scotch judge,
said on his deathbed, "Guilty, but recommended
to the mercy Of the court"
OSCAR CARTER died at an old colored
woman's house near Wacross, Ca, last week. The
old woman had been the slave OF his father whom
the young master knew better times; and when
the poor fellow had no other place to 20, she
minstered to his last wants.
THE doorkeeper on Change in st. Louis Is
an observing mortal. lie says: ~ can tell Chi-
Gag man ns soon as he puts his face around the
corner Of the stairs. They SO neryy and fresh,
and most OF them think that no rule In the world
was made for their observance"
BASEBALL players, actors, and gamblers are
not the only persons In the world who have super
stluons. A Georgia merchant always carries in
his pocket for good luck the forefoot Of a rabbit
A billiard player Of the same state has always
with him an opossum's ear, with which he rubs
his cue before engaging in game.
THE Troy Times says 1t is rumored that
walcott, the quail eater, will be candidate for
president ON the democratic ticket in 1884. But
the Norrstowm Herald thinks that the mere feat
of gulping down sixty quail will not recommend
him to the suffrages of that party. He must first
demonstrate his ability to "eat crow"
, A MINNESOTA school teacher asked tho
committee II they would sustain him II he
thrashed an obstreperous young lady pupil, and
they said they would. Then he went for her
and when the fight was over the girl ran homo
laughing and leit him standing there with nothing
on him but one boot leg and subdued express
| sion.
Two young men who went to a revival
meeting in New York and stole the Crock Of
Ages" done in worsted, from the wall have boen
sent to the penitentiary for six months Tho
prosecution might not have been pushed to tho
, bitter end had not the brethren caught the de-
PRAYED wretches In the act Of trading of the work
ofart for two glasses of lager beer.
THE discoverers OF mysterious trunk in
| the woods at Thomaston, Ga, paved over tho
contents and found nothing but woman's under
wear. short time thereafter, when they all
broke out with smallpox, they realized more for
cibly than ever before that a strange womans
! undergarments are things concerning which male
/ humanity should not be too inquisitive.
r A PARTY of Hungarians and Irish stopped
John Wallace near his home, short distance
from Williamsport, to ask him the way to Rock
port. Because he could not understand what
they said one of them raised his hand as If to
strike him, and he fell dead. The men ran away
In fright and II was reported that they had muir
dered him. It has been shown that he died from
heart disease which was suddenly aggravated by
the excitement.
THIS is the greeting which Texas paper
: extends to the new pastor; "The Rev MIR. Glass.
the preacher for the ensuing year, has come. He
has pretty good Clothes doubtless purchased with
means saved by systematic starvation from his
y salary OF lhsI year, ior ne iooRs lie ihhh' N is'
= perhaps, quite proper that the world, and es-
pecially his church members, should take his
| good clothes into consideration and deadbeat the
= Lord this year. There is nothing more to be ap-
. precated than free religion"
t YOUNG BRUEHLER, of Cleveland, courted
a pretty fair maid whose magnifcence Of dresl
attracted the attention fpersons cognizant of heI
limited resources. Bruehler was small salaried
clerk In dry goods house. Goods, valuable silks,
. were continually disappearing from the stock In
: the store detective connected these facts, and
i arrested Bruehler, and In his room found largo
+ quantities of silks, satins ribbons aces, and silk
a hose, with which he doubtless would have do.
# lighted the heart of his lady love-
THOMAS CHADWICK, who died in Farming
"a "a ton, N. H., recently, had hewn coffin for himself
out of solid granie and ON his death bed enjoined
his family to put him In It, which they did, al
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