The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-08-24
Burdetts on Doyish Actions In Man.
hood.

The boyish impulses and the boyish
man come to him unsought, unpremedi-
tated, genuine surprises. So came the
latest action of my boyish days to me.
Renewing my youth with the Prince.
whose father am, but whose son /
might as well be, in tangled thickets
and in the forbidden meadows of Mont
gomery County, and in the re-entering
angels of old rail fences, 1 sought the
blackberry that scratches the hand
which feeds; with careless hand ]
plucked the humble poison vine.
Twenty-Five years ago l would have
recognized that vine across ten-acre
field, through two hay-stacks, live
fence and a COW barn. Now, alas. il
took me ten hours to recognize it! And
then only by its fruits did 1 know it. 1t
got in its work just as it did in the
Golden, olden glory of the days gone
by" 1t chung to my fingers with a
burning grasp; the longer it held the
more it burned. l recognized the old
companion of my childhood. knew
it had come to stay. 1t is here now. II
is bowling swell. have the biggest
hand at the table, yet can not stay in.
L can not hold pen, nor can hold my
piece. My good right hand hath tor
gotten its cunning! But will know a
poiSon-vine the next time l hunt for
June-greens. Ny hand is the trade dol
lar among hands-as big as is useless.
1t offendS me, yet do not "cut it off
and cast it into the fire." 1t burns mer-
rily enough where it is.
And it makes me feel boyish to 90 out
and get poisoned in this old, innocent
way of unsuspicious childhood. Like
n flood of memories comes back even
the very old words we used to say-the
old. familiar formula we were taught
to repeat what time the poison-vine got
hold upon us strong. l do not remem-
Der who taught us to repeat them. 1t
may even be that, not by tuition, but by
intuition, we knew what to say in those
times that tried boys souls.
Perhaps the invOcations of to-day are
more polished and classical, the exple-
tives more intense than in the older, or
rather the younger days, but they mean
about the same.
1t takes long time for man to
grow out of his boyhoOd. do not know
just how long. but l should judge about
1000 years. l place the limit at 1900
because | think by that time a man
would be too iniirm by reason of age to
get into any more mischief or misery.
have no acquaintance with men who
have passed the ninetieth milestone on
life'S pilgrimage, and verify it seems to
me that all these men are but boys.
Poor boy! Down to his grave he lie
self-willed, disobedient, foolish, slow to
learn, hard to manage, born to evil and
full of corrections as proof-sheet. He
reaches in the fence-cOrner for black.
berry and picks up a "pisen'' vine, and
so he learns too late the mine he bought
was "salted."
He is spanked in the cradle, flogged
at school and scOurged all the rest of his
life, and still it seems to do him no
good. He lives under an Interchangeable
law of pains and penalties. necessarily
his ears are boxed. To every ''thou
shalt not is appended threatening
land if you do" and every laundering
'.thou shalt" is seconded by the terrify-
ing .or you'll wish you had" Inexor-
able is the master of his school. He
can appeal TO no Board of Pardons.
No tender-hearted Governor, figuring
for reelection, overlooks his misdeeds.
The Administration has no need of him
or his influence. Do not keep such
late hours, and do not eat hot sup
pers at midnight. But all the same he
does keep late hours and have good
hn clx Ii n
he gets in at rOll-call it will never be
known. But as he answers to his name
the order is entered. ''Dock that mans
life ten years" Take care of your
teeth is regulation of the school. But,
while nobody is looking. the foolish boy
lets his teeth take care of themselves.
So he is sentenced to lose half his teeth
and fined $3.50 to be paid over to the
nearest dentist having jurisdiction.
.'Do not bite on that broken tooth
comes the command from the head Of
the table. But the boy tries it just to
see what the master will do about it,
and instantly he gets such box of the
jaw that makes him think he has bit on
thunderbolt. 1t is not bailable of
tense, and execution of sentence can
not be postponed until next term of
court. .Do not run through the wei
grass in your slippers is shouted to
him from the upstairs window. The
instant the window is closed he skip:
across the lawn, knowing no one can
see him, and for this he is collared and
led into the house, doubled up with
rheumatism for ten years, or perhaps
tortured all the rest of his life. He play:
lawn-tennis until he streams at every
pore. Then he hastens to refresh him.
self with glass of clear, cold ice
water. IF you drink that ice water"
says his watchful master, 81 will kill
YOU" He believes no one could be sc
cruel rs that, and drinks the ice-water.
Often the conditions are ripe for the
Judgment, and the sentence is carried
into execution. Sometimes the execu-
ton of this sentence is preceded by
hours or days of fearful agony, to
teach him that these laws are not to be
trihed with.
And with all these plain rules, and
discipline Just severe and certain, does
he learn any thing?
Precious little. He is just about as
self-willed and intractable at eighty as
at ten.
The man whips his own boy, because
the youngster can not keep one hundred
commandments as easily as his father
can break ten. He operates in stocks
just as he used to play marbles. He
trades horses Just as he used to swap
knives; cheating or being cheated in
every deal. He sOWs wheat. and when