The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1883-09-14
A CLOSE SHAVE.


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During the earlier years Of my
medico-military career l was selected
lunatic asylum, then established in
n of the east IN count S of Eng
land. AT the time Of the appointment
/ was given to understand that it was
n which paid high compliment to
my professional abilities, and was be-
slowed as a reward of good services
done; but as / did not see it quite in
the same light 1 went and inter
viewed the chief who had thought 30
much more of me than 1 did of him.
"Sir,' said |, "some men are born
to honors, Others have honors thrust
upon them; the latter is my case 1
don't understand ore bit about the
treatment, moral or medical, of the
ms me. never saw but one mailman
in my life, and he, 1 verify believe, was
more knave than fool; AMI l can't
help thinking that if you send me to
the asylum you are sending the round
man to fit into the square hole"
THAT is not IF the slightest conse-
quence," answered he whom l was adj
dressing, in the riche;t of brogues;
mot the layste in loife. Round or
square the hole will suit to a t; and if
so be that We don't know anything con-
sarning lunatics, whoy, the sooner We
larn the better. Ye'd be PLACED to
iine without delay. Good-morning."
so he bowed me out, and l, having a
wholesome dread of the powers that
were, lined" forthwith.
1t is one of Shakespeare's wise say
ings that "Use doth breed a habit in a
man" Before there had passed away
many weeks of my s%ojourn with the
d-mented officers and men of Queen
Victoria's land forces | found my elf
highly interested with their pretty and
well cared for home, running pleasant
ly in the groove | Lad so much OBJ
jected to, and getting rid forever and
a day Of that %repugnance which every
out,ider naturally enough entertains
when brought into contact with the
denizens of amad-house. With a pass
key which was an open sesame to every
lock in the establishment, | was accus-
toned to wander over it unattended
either by the "keeper" or the order
lies; and never was | molested or
spoken to t~hreateningly save once, and
that upon the occasion | have elected
to name "a Close Shave"
In the aft arnoOns, when the patients
were not indoors, it was my practice to
60 through every part of the building.
inspecting it s%anitarily. / was doing
NJ 0S ngnDI 1Innn ~ nnrfQin NVInt Ar'
day, when, at a curve of a corridor, |
came suddenly upon a patient leaning
gloomily against one of the pillars.
He was a private soldier Of the Forty
fifth, or Sherwood Foresters--a recent
admission, and whose phase of insanity
was somewhat pulling the head sur
geon and myself. Without entering
upon details, | shall merely say that
we had doubts upon his case, and hal
re commended his removal from the
asylum to the care of his friends.
Meantime, however, he was to be
closely watched, and no garden too's
or other implements be put into his
hands. How he had managed to elude
the vigilance of the orderly under
whose surveillance lie had been place |.
and to be where L met him, was one
Df the things | never understood. But
so it WIS.
When he saw me his melancholic de.
meanor ceased; he advance with rapid
strides toward me, and / saw at once
that he meant mischief Of some sort OF
other; for every muscle of his body
was trembling with passion, and or
svery feature of his face was pictured
that Of a demon. l confess that feal
came oye me. What was this maniac
going to do? But to show apprehen
sion would be fatal, so l faced hin
Dol ly, an exclaimed: "Hallo. Mat
tbews what are you doing here
Why are you not in the airing-ground.
with the others?"
He turned "A wild and flashing ey,
upon Inc, and glared Ike wild beast
Then he howled out, Ia her than said
"Let me out of this p
"What do you mean? p l replied, re
solving if possible to gain time, an,
trusting that presently an orderl
might pass and relieve me from the ter
rible d lemma in which | stood.
"I.et me out p he repeated. Z"
have been too long in this vile place
want to rejoin my regiment, to Sc
my poor old mother and Mary, m