Omaha daily bee., 1883-03-17
PEPPERMINT q

A New Jersey man has patented O stove
that explodes at 10 o'clock at night. He
has four daughters.
The Philadelphia Press wants to know
why we dress." We don't know why
rich people dress, but the reason that poor
people do Is because they cannot atfordt to
take their breakfast In bed.
An exchange says that condensed ele-
plants milk Is likely to come Into use ne .
tonic. An onelet from alligator eggs and
Q glass of elephants milk ought to make o
nice midsummer lunch.
Some Colorado legislators refused 50. 600
for their vote for United StNtes senator.
Well, we should soy 30. They were get.
ting 80, 600 ten years ago, and senators
have boomed away up since then.-Hawk-
eye.
Cucumbers are selling OF forty cents
each In the eastern market, but the de-
msnd ia light. Five cents worth of paris
green will 20 further than forty cents in
cucumbers, and spring Is the time to econ
omize.
A London newspaper has an article on
"The Emotional Language of Bees" The
language OF q bee Is not as emotional as
that of q man who is bitten by the tail end
of the insect. Nor as emphatic and sui.
phurous.
DR.. Oswald says: "From the moment
that a young monkey Is weaned he has to
steal" This Is all the more remarkable
from the fact that o monkey Ia not elected
bank cashier in New Jersey.-Norristown
Herald.
A St. Louis butcher has eloped with q
neighbours wife. Something should be
done with these butchers. A butcher who
will charge Q customer twenty five cents o
pound for beef aud then walk eff with that
mans rib should be ground Ia one of his
own sausage MACHINES. -Pittsburg Tele-
graph.
"Will you have dinner at the eating
station," asked the train boy OF O passen.
ger. YES" said the passenger, arising
and following the boy. III Just wanted to
know, " said the boy, $50 I could telegraph
ahead" Telegraph " repeated the tired
passenger, whose patience the slowness of
the train had exhausted, II thought you
wanted me to stroll on ahead and eat by
the time the train would get there"
An old darby said 70 his wife at the cir.
Gus: "Look ahere, Suse, yer Just got to
make up yer mind; Of yer gwine to take de
shoes yer can't go to de circus, an Of yer is
gwine to de circus yer can't get de shoes"
just about this time the band struck up Q
lively air, and Suse told the old man abe
would go harefooted a while longer. She
was bound to see do circus.
A countryman stepped into q fruit store
and invested in o niekel's worth of chest.
nuts. In half an hour he returned and
handed the proprietor one Of the nuts
"What does this meant" asked the dealer
"Well," remarked the customers, shat Il
the only sound chestnut / found in The
pint. and so thought you had put 1t in BY
mistake. / sm an honest man, and DOM
want to take n mean advantage of q fell
low"
An eastern microscopic has proved con
clusively that the heart OF the oyster ha'
but two cavities. II the same gentleman
will now show how the average young mar
can foretell how many cavities are possess
cd by the young woman whom he has in
vited to have a ''half-dozen broiled," b,
will confer a priceless boon upon the un
fortunate and small.salaried man who hal
seen with dismay o dozen shell-stew,"
half dozen ecounts fried" o ''devilec
crab," cabbage salad, pickles, celery, coffee
beer, and bread In proportion, disappear II
the caveInous mouth Of o hollow-boned
oonsumptivs maiden, whose ordinary re
past. one would think, Is limited to q baket
bean cut In two.