The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-10-28

YET OSClQ6Q WuiCu VI VIC i'ssA sAS =" A~S-
will capture him, but it lie said that Tai
mage stands even with Barnum, go far.
a WICKED paper says the reason
Henry Irving plays Shvlock go we'll j.
due to the fact that Henry always was q
little "nesr" in pecuniary matters.
IT Is said that Jay Gould once worked
for farmer, and the reason he is not at
present humble tiller OF the soil is due
to the fact that the longer Jsy worked on
the farm the poorer the granger became
In recent sermon the Rev. Z. DE
Wit Talmgge advanced the idea that
there are some souls SC small that fifty
of them could dsrca OF the point OF q
smbricneedle without touching" 1t is
understood that the reverend gentleman
obtained the idea from experimenting
with bis own soul, and lha. be found
room for 493z others Of the same s:ze, but
that rather than be guilty Of exsggera-
ton be made the rumbe- al even half.
hundred.
"MRs. A. T.. STEWART, who, during
her husbands life, was very secluded,
ramor says ia going to give series Of
parties this winter. She is described at
so ss being as gay SIS butterfly and as
merry as q Greek" Whoever saw
widow ths! WASN'T?
AND NOW they call President Arthur
ellis Acci6ency."
A NORTH CAROLINA woman recently
dislocated her jaw by yelling at camp
meeting. This, we hope, will be warn
ing to other women to yell st nothing
but their husbands and street care.
TIE OLD three cent stamp has nearly
passed from sight, and exists now only
among II oae who were foolish enough to
let the first of October catch them with
many on .hand, or among the fendith
stamp collectors, Yet We question very
much il the new one is an improvement
over the old-save in Q financial sense.
The old green government certificate
had an air Of sutocrstic breeding about
it, tone to its color, and an expression
Of dignity On the face OF the father of
his country that made people feel proud
when they licked him and pasted him on
the envelope. There was something
stylish about the old stamp after all.
But the new one-ugh! It has q cheap
tawdry appearance, aRd is about the
color of an old toper's nose on frosty
morning, 1t has no style, no tone
nothing to recommend it. Even the face
of Washington has mean and stingy |
look about it, and on 8 close inspection |
one ia tempted to believe that the state. !
men.in regard to the hatnhet and the
cherry tree was base fabrication. II
Washington, when young. was half as
mean as the picture would make him ap-
pear to be, be never chopped the tree, or
if he did, he lied about it and blamed it
onto somebody else.
AN EXCHANGE says "Lsn gtry's |
mother is near sighted.y If the affection
is hereditary. it may account for the
strange antics Of the Ely in America.
"THE HAND Of the diligent maketh .
man rich" says the Scripture. and we
were commencing to feel real good and /
happy about the fact, As We we're reAding
The Good Book, few nights since. but
we felt mich worse than being struck by
Paddy Ryan could possibly make rs
feel, when, 10, q few moments, We were
sdmonishsd that it sis easier for camel
to re through the eye ofs needle, than
for rich man TO enter the Kingdom Ct
Heaven" -
An ,RxcHANe. says "tths Prince of
Wales 10 learning TO play the bones,
Wonder ifthis isn't little scheme of bis,
in order to get overto this country and
DIN Langtrys - ~
THERE HAS been discovered. in Cali
'ornia. something that resemb Cd q "pet-
rifed pumpkin" Future Developments
may disclose the fact that it is the hesd
,f man who was 80 well-inio, med that
she didn't need to take 70 paper"
AN ITEM is going the rounds to the
fleet that on Lorne's return to England,
he Queen will present him with "the
garter" 1t does not say the kind of q
garter; whether it is one Of her own, or Q
.elic Of the late Mr.John Brow; whether
t is the right or left garter. But We sin.
,erely hope Mra. Geulph will not "slop
,ve," Lorne to such IN extent ss to
rive away 81 her carriers and Sc pins.
An OYSTER entertainment in popular
sstern church wss spoiled recently by
re of the young ladies discovering 9
nasty, shiny thing" in the soup. It
Vss Immediately taken ouifand thrown
nto the yard, but the sppe.i.es Of sn
we're shocked. This, however, did not j
eter the minister-who knew what the [