The banner-enterprise., 1883-06-28
THE BAD BOYS UNCLE EZRA.
HIS VISIT CAUSES THE YOUTH TO
BAcKsLIDE.
And Results in n Suspension Of the Rules
Against Joking--What Happened in the
Spare Room.

And Results In n Suspension of the Rules
Against Joking--What Happened in the
Spare Room.
81 hear your Uncle Ezra Is here on a
visit" said the grocery man to the bad
boy. ~ suppose you have been hav-
ing high old time. There is nothing
that does boy more good than to
have a nice visit with good uncle,
and hear him tell about old times when
he and the boys father were boys to-
gether."
"Well, 1 don't know about it." said
the boy, as he took a stick of maca-
roni and began to blow paper wads
through it at woodsawyer who was
filing saw outside the door. When
boy who has been tough has got his
pins all set to reform, l don't nlink it
does him any good to have a real nice
uncle come to the house visiting.
Any way, that's my experience. l
have backslid the worst way, and it is
going to take me month, after Uncle
Ezra goes away, to climb up to the
grace that l have fallen from. 1t is
blame discouraging," said the boy, as
he looked up at the ceiling in an inno-
cent sort of way, and hid the maca
roni under his coat, when the wood
sawyer, who had been hit in the neck,
dropped his saw and got up mad.
whats the trouble? Your uncle
has the reputation where he lives of
being one of the pillars of society. But
you can't tell about these fellows when
they get away from home. Does he
drink"
"No, he don't drink, but as near as
| can figure it he and pa were about
the worst pills in the box when they
were young. 1 don't want you to re-
peat it, but when pa and ma were mar
ried they eloped. Yes, sir, actually
ran away, and defed their parents, and
they had to hide about a week for fear
mas father would ill pa so full of cold
lead that he would sink if he fell in the
water. Pa has been kicked over the
fence, and chased down alleys dozens
of times, by mas grandfather when he
was sparkling ma, and ma was terror,
too, cause her mother couldn't do any
thing with her, though she is awful
precise now, and wants everybody to
be good. Why, mas mother used to
warm her ears, and shake the daylights
out of her, but it didn't do any good.
She was mashed on pa, and there was
no cure for her except to have pa pre-
scribed for her as a husband, and
they ran away. Uncle Ezra told
me all about it. Ma haint got any
patience with girls now days that
have minds of their own about fel-
lows, and she thinks their par rents
ought to have all the say. Well, may
be she thinks she knows all about it.
But when people get in love it is the
same now as it was when pa and ma
were trying to keep out of the reach
of my grandfather's shotgun. But
pa and Uncle Ezra and ma are good
friends, and they talk over old times
and have a big laugh, l guess Uncle
Ezra was too much for pa in joking
when they were boys, cause pa told
me that all rules against joking were
suspended while Uncle Ezra was here,
and for me to play anything on him l
could. l told pa l was trying to lead
a different life, but he said what l
wanted to do was to make Uncle Ezra
think of old times, and the only way
was to keep him on the ragged edge.
l thought if there was anything
could do to make it pleasant for my
uncle, it was my duty to do it, so l
fixed the bed Stats on the spare bed so
they would fall down at 2 A. NJ. the
first night, and then l retired. At 2
o'clock heard the awfulest noise in
the spare room, and bowling and
screaming, and l went down and met
Uncle Ezra in the hall, and he asked me
what was the matter in there, and /
asked him if he didn't sleep in the
spare room, and he said no, that pa
and ma was in there, and he slept in
their room. Then we went in the
spare room, and you'd dide to see pa.
Ma had jumped out when the Stats
first fell, and was putting her hair up
in curl papers when we got in, but pa
was all tangled up in the springs and
things. His head had gone wnfirst,
and the mattress and quilts rolled over
on him, and he was almost smothered,
and we had to take the bedstead down
to get him out, the way you have to
unharness a horse when he runs away
and falls down, before you can get him
up. Pa was mad, but Uncle Ezra
laughed at him, and told him he was
only foundered, and all he wanted was
a bran mash and some horse liniment
and he would come out all right.
Uncle Ezra went out in the hall to get
a pail of water to throw on pa, cause
he said pa was alire, when pa askedme
why didn't fix the other bed Stats, and
L IOlu Hllu ulull JhuOW do elOg WCiC
going to change beds, and then pa said
don't let it occur again. Pa lays
to me. He is the most
man l ever saw. He told
me to do everything Uncle Ezra
wanted me to do, and then, when l
helped Uncle Ezra to play joke on pa,
he was mad. Say, l don't think this
world is run right, do youp haven't
got much time to talk to you to-day,
cause Uncle Ezra and me are going
fishing, but don't it strike you that 1t
is queer that parents trounce Toys for
doing just what they did themselves.
Now. have got friend whose father
Is a lawyer. That lawyer would warm
his boy if he should tell a lie, or
associate with anybody that was bad,
and yet the lawyer will defend a man
he knows is guilty of stealing, and get
him clear and take the money he got
from the thief, who stole 1t, to buy the
same boy new coat to wearto church,
and he will defend a man who COM
mitted murder. and make an argument