davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-10-29
-------------------------
A DR,jGGIST'S STORY.

MIR. Isaac G.. Chapmen, Druggist, New
burg, N. Y, writes US; Il have for the
past ten years sold several gross of DIR.
William Halls Balsam for the lungs. /
can say of it what l cannot say OF any
other medicine. l have never heard a
customer speak OF it but to plais' ts VII
tues in the highest manner hi VIC re-
commended it in a great many cases u
Whooping Cough, Wild the happiest CT
fects. have used it in my own family
for many years; in fact always have
bottle in the medicine closet ready fol
use I"
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-10-29
A GREAT DISCOVERY.

That is daily bringing joy to the homes
of thousands by saving many OF their
dear ones from an early grave. Truly is
DIR. Kings New Discovery for Consnmp-
ton. Coughs, Colds, Asthma, Bronchitis,
Hay Fever, Loss of Voice. Tickling in
in the throat, Pain in the Side and Chest,
or any disease OF the Throat and Lungs,
positive cure. Guaranteed. Trial
bottles free at Hartz 6 Bahnsen's Drug
Store. Large size $1.00.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-10-29
Buckleu's Arnica Salve.

The greatest medical wonder of the WORLD
Warranted to speedily cure burns, bruises
cuts, ulcers, salt rheum, fever sores, can
GERS, piles, chilblains, corns, letter, chap
ped hands, and all skin eruptions, gnaran
teed to cure IN every instance, or money
refunded. IS cents per box For sale BY
HartZ & Rahnsen.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-10-29

Try a bottle of Stilwell's Specific il
troubled with kidney or liver disease.
The symptoms are, backache, loss o.
memory, loss of appetite or sleep, o.
worst Of all, loss of vital energy. Yor
will secure relief and add your name Il
the hundreds cured by this wonderful
medicine Price Shopper bottle. Manu-
factured by
THE sTILWELI. MEDICINE CO..
Monmouth. iii.
Stilwelrs Specific Pills cure constipa
ton Price 25 cents For sale b. =
druggists.
may.s7-dw4w
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-10-29
He NAV Well be Joyful.

TOPEKA. Kans., May y, 1881.
H. II. WARNER & Co: .Sirs After Is
years of unmitigated suffering from chro-
mic kidney disease | finally found joyful
restoration to health in your Safe Kidney
and Liver Cure. ID. Il. OWENS.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-10-29

Avoid Fever, Ague and Biliousness by
taking Colden's Liquid Beef Tonic. Ask
for Colden's; of druggists.
Coldens Liquid Beef Tonic will cure
indigestion, and perpetuatc bodily vigor.
No other. OF druggists.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-10-29

Aliens Brain Food botanical extract
strengthens the Brain and positively cure
Nervous Debility, Nervousness, headache
unnatural losses, and all weakness OF
Generative System; it never fails. 81 pkg
for Sat- druggists. or Aliens Phar-
macy. 315 Fist Ave. N. ].
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-10-29

Malaria positively cured with Emory
standard Cure Pills, a. never failing remed-
Y; purely vegetable, contain no qninine,
sugar coated. 25 cents.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-10-29
,u,cAqo. BURLINGTON 4 quincy.
cur.Go. MILWAUKEE l. ST. PAUL.
TINE TABLE Nov. 10, 1882.

Trains No. 7. 8, 9 and l0are Maquoketa Branch
TEAMS and A. Accommodation for Oxford Jnuc'
ION: and 3 Passenger, for Celmar.
"Flying Dutchman" leaves Rock Island s:4S a
-, arrives at sos D. m arrives Dubuque 1880 q
NJ leaves Eos 0. m. arrives at St. Paul 9: 90 p
H. leaves 5 :25 a. m. arrives Minneapolis lo1O p
m'' leaves S'4'O " E.Dw. HOLMES. Agent
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-10-29

Miss Nellie Medil. e18 Washington
street, Chicago, Ill.,, says; Browns Iron
Bitters cured me of dyspepsia and puri
fed my blood.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-10-29
Dr., CONN

DAVENPORT 20 Catarh Asthma Deafness
Patients
Vita and Consultation Free
HON RUSSELL Postmaster DEvENPoRI says:
CONGRESSMAN MURPHY DAVENPORT
writes. IAN Honorable Success. Wonderful Cures
oraalp
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-10-29
RncK ISLAND 9 PEORIA RAILWAY.
I.uoRrrsr ROUTE TO THE EAST AND VEST

(saoRrEsT ROUTE TO THE EAST AND VEST :
LEAVE ARRIVE,
No.. u,vnrass s.45AM Sis P. NJ.
rhTi ~ ~ 1.15P M IL 20 N.
naii S"o o.Iotion r.fA0PM 200 A. n.
Way Freight, oDO A. =. ~ 8 s,,t =,
The rs p. m. train makes close eohnec'lou
irving at Galesbhrg at 4 rs p m. Burlington e:4o
n M: Keokuk 1925 p. m; Quincy 1O:05 P. m, )
rtiso making close connection at Peoria with l. b.
h w., and i. P. q W., roads for all points east
and south.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-10-29
Still w ELS
SPECIFIC
CURES
KIDNEY AND LIVER
DISEASE.

Cures Kidney and Liver Disease when all
else fails. It's action on the system is quick
and lasting.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-10-29
PAT ENTS.

F. A. Lehman, Solicitor OF American and For
egn Patents. Washington, d. C. All business
connected with patents, whether before the Patent
Office or the Couris, promptly attended to. No
charge made unless patent is secured. Send Tor
ircular. api-2df
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-10-29

Fnss se Mea 20 n Is
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-04-05
Thought She Couldn't

A Detroiter who was lately crossing
Clinton County, with horse and buggy,
stopped at a farmhouse, along about
noon, and asked the woman IL she
could get him up dinner and feod his
horse.
+. Come in and I'll see," she replied.
and, as he sat down, she called out at
the foot Of the stairs;
"Say, Hanner!'
Eyes, marin replied voice.
''Have we any hay or oats or corn or
straw or turnips, or anything else. to
feed horse onp'
"No," was the decided answer. -..
"Then that settles the horse ques.
tion," announced the woman to her
guest. I'll see about your dinner now.
Say, Hanner!"
"Yes, MARIN
Have we got any bread bakedp" 5
mo" .''
"Any flour to bake shortcakc
withp'
"No."
ANY cold meat cake, pie or cold
tatersp"
MARY one
Then really don't think can feed
either you or your horse" said the
woman, as she shut the stairs door.
"You might poke along to the red
house on the left hand, and II YOU amt
afeared Of crazy people and smallpox
thew NAV set YOU out some beet pickles
and rye coffee. --Detroit Free Press 1
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-04-05
American Society,

American society, as now carried on,
is maintained solely for the benefit OF
young girls, and Is generally little bet
ter than marriage mart. The parents
launch their offspring as well as pos
sible, and display their wares to the
greatest advantage, but the business of
the market is carried on chiefly by the
young girls themselves, instead Of BY
their mothers as in England and Eu-
rope. There Is no special objection to
this method of transacting the business,
but it is preposterous that young girls
and their affairs should overshadOw and
shut out everything and everybody else.
The result of this absorption in one class
and one pursuit is that American society
is often insutferably dull and fiat. tits
made up too exclusively of ignorant
girls and their attendant boys Half the
education of q cultivated and attractive
woman is of course that which is de.
rived from society and from the world;
and yet American society Is almost
wholly given up to the business of en-
pertaining and marrying those who are
necessarily wholly destitute Of such an
education. Another effect Of the prev.
alence of social principles of this dc,
scription is the supremacy OF that most
rustic and unattractive of habits, the
pairing system, which converts society
into a vast congregation OF tete-a-tetes.
This prevails all over the world to q
greater or less extent but it should
never reign supreme. The upshot of the
whole thing with us is to drive out of
society nearly all married people,--for
marriage under such system is de-
structive of social value;. nearly all
unmarried women over twenty-five, who
are thought to have overstayed their
market; and, finally, a considerable pro-
portion of the unmarried men OF thirty
and upwards. In other words. except
at few large balls and receptions, all
the best and most intelligent part OF
society is usually lacking. II has been
pushed aside, and is obliged to find all
its social amusement in small coteries
of its own. This retirement is OF course
voluntary, because the pairing system
ruins general society, and makes It, In
fact, impossible in the best and truest
sense. A clever young Englishman not
long ago expressed his surprise at the
fact that, whenever he asked who lady
of a. certain age, as the French say,
might be, he was invariably told, not
that she was Mrs. Blank, but that she
was the mother of Miss Blank The
girl, like boy, is properly the most in.
significant member of society. When a
young man goes forth in the world, he
starts at the bottom Of the ladder, and
works his way up, The same rule
should apply to young women in society.
They have their place and it is an i'm.
portant one; but they should not start
in social life at the top, and then slowly
. descend. Such system Is against every
law Of nature or OF art, and with its in.
evitable concomitant of universal tete.a.
tetes makes really attractive general
society impossible. We place the social
pyramid upon Its apex instead Of upon
It's base, and then wonder that il Is o
poor, tottering, and unlovely object. :
Aprtt Atlantic.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-04-05
10 The West.


There are number OF routes leading tt
the aforementioned section, but the direc,
and reliable route is via Saint Louis and
over the Missouri Pacific Railway. Two
trains daily are run from the Grand Union
Depot, Saint Louis to Kansas City, Leaven.
worth, Atchison, st, Joseph and Omaha.
Pullman Palace Sleeping Cars THE very
fir est make are attached 10 all trsins.
AT Kansas City Union Depot, passenger,
for Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico and Cal
if1rnis connect with express trains Of oil
lines.
AT Atchison, connection is made with
express trains for Kansas and Nebrssks
points. ... III.
At Omaha, connection is made with the
Overland train for California.
This line offers to parties enroute TO the
West and Northwest, not only fast time
and superior Accommodations, but beautiful
scenery, as it passes through the finest por'
,ion of Missouri and Nebraska. Send 70,
illustrated maps, pamphlets, &c, Of this
line, which will be mailed free. .,
G. B. KIsNAN, +. CHANDLRR,
Asst Gen'l Pass. Agent. Gen'l Psss Agent
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-04-05
"TEHAgI TEHAs!"
How the Lone Star State 10 Said to Have
Obtained Its Name.

A writer In q Philadelphia paper re-
lates the legend Of the origin Of the
name Texas" as told to her by Gen.
Sam Houston, when she was . little
girl. Gen. Houston had It from an In.
dian chief, as follows; IA long time
ago, when the Spaniards overrun and
plundered Mexico, some Of the red men
left them and came toward the rising
sun. They crossed the Rio Grande, and
not knowing what lay before them, en-
tered upon the great salt marshes.
They travelled many days, and found
little sweet water or game. The weather
grew hot, and the little streams dried
up, and the grass withered, and many
old men and women and children died
Of thirst. One day, after many weeks
of weary walking, q party of young
braves, who had been sent ahead to re-
connoiter, came running back and said
We have found water; come on. This
good news put new life into their veins.
and although nothing could be seen but
q dry, fat. bald prairie, the scouts were
standing still. calling and beckoning to
them and pointing towards something
apparently at their feet, AT length they
reached the spot where the braves were
standing. Fifty feet below them the
limpid waters Of the Colorado sang a
melody to heaven. Beyond, far as even
an Indian vision could reach, stretched
q green sxpanse, The tall mesquite
grass, yielding TO tho breath Of the gen.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-04-05
Cheap Postage at Last. and Postal Hons
in Addition, -

The late Congress passed law which
will be hailed with general satisfaction
| by the people, namely, the reduction Of
] the rate of postage on letters to two
cents. The United States may now be
considered as standing at the head Of
1.-THE nations in the matter Of cheap postal
| facilities. We, are indebted to Mother
England for teaching us the A B G of
popular postal transmission; for score
| ofyears her rate has been two cents.
But no such costs, difficulties, and dis
tances have had to be overcome in
carrying the mails in Great Britain as in
this country. Her postal routes are
| short, her total area being only about
one hundred and twenty-five thousand
square miles, while ours is not far from
| three and a half millions of square
| miles. sia.
Many Of our important towns are
from one to four thousand miles apart
| by the postal routes, over which we
have been long carrying letters for three
cents. Under the new rates Of two
cents, the quantity Of letters to be car
ried will doubtless be greatly augmented.
The new two cent rate goes into op.
Grafton October /. The post Office
authorities are engaged in preparing a
brand new two cent stamp, with which
to inaugurate the happy event
Another accommodationfor the public
will also soon come into vogue, namely,
the issue Of postal notes for small sums.
By payment at any post office a postal
note for the amount is to be given,
which will be payable on presentation
at any other post Office.
The post Office authorities are making
preparations as rapidly as possible for
the issue Of the new postal note 1t is
to be engraved with great care, tho
work upon it to be equal to that on the
national bauknotes, in order to protect
the holder. 1t is expected that this note
| will prove of great benefit to all who
desire to use the mails to purchase
books, newspapers and merchandise.
The authorities admit that it Is an ex.
pertinent, and do not expect that the
system will any more than pay expenses
Scientific american.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-04-05
Marriage in Low Life,

A young African by the name Of Zeke
called on Rev. Whangdoodle Baxter
few days ago, and informed him that no
(Zeke) contemplated perpetrating mat
rlmony at an early day, and be would DO
glad to have Whangdoodle perform the
ceremony, as no (Zeke) belonged to
Whangdoodle's congregation. >ae'7J
II knows you b'Iongs to my congre-
gashun, but you has been mighty on
regular in yer tendance ct Sunday
School. l amt gwine ter marry you,
nor no udder member Of my congrega-
shun, until ! has done satisfied, myself
dat do high contrasting parties am
familiar wild de ten commandments
"a reckon knows as much about 'om
a. de general run OBJ niggars." % i.n Z
Oats what Use gwine ter find out
How many gods am deyp"
Oars only one God" ytS-Hs- q. ~
"Ebery fool niggah knows dat. I
know dat ar myself befoah came to
Austin. What / wants ter know am how
many pussons------'i sd 40, fN.,t t.T
Chow many pussonspa % slg6. ,.i. "
"Jes so. How many pussonsp"V y, =.
"Well, parson. lemIne Soc" respond
ed Zeke, beginning TO count them ON HIS
fingers, "dars mo an de fare bride, dat
makes one, m soon ms we'rc married.
Oars dc brides mudder. Aunt Sukcy,
an my brudder, Bow-lcgged Pete. Den
day's de musicianeers, an yerself, an
pr'aps 'cm all togedder, dar amt noah
den seben or eight pussons. ~ Texas
BiNinga
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-04-05
AOruel Joke,

There Is certain prominent man in
a California city whom II is not safe to
joke with just now. The other night.
so the story is related, while he was
loatng In his favorite bar.room, small
boy came in and handed him note.
He opened II, and his face was perfectly
ghastly as he devoured its contents.
Then he held 3 consultation with two Of
his friends, borrowed . revolver and
left the room with his chums. When
the party reached the mans house he
let them in at the back door, and. their
shoes being removed, the stocking.
footed trio stole noiselessly through the
house. The dull, red glow Of the hall
lamp threw the mans determined
features into strong relief as he paused
at his room door and caught the muir.
muir Of a voice In oaressiDg tones say
ing: There, darling. you and l are all
alone In the house, 90 don't be scared.
Now let me put on this nice new collar
and pretty coat. Oh, you pet, you little
darling" and through . crack in the
door came perfect fusilade Of kisses.
The enraged husband took off his coat,
signaled bis bodyguard, and danced in.
to the room with his revolver at full
cock. One look was enough. There
was his wife codding aud petting an
English terrier dog. Neither the man
nor his companions have much To say
about what followed, but they want to
find the man who wrote that note.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-04-05
How 10 Scatter Trouble,

The Bad Boy Of Peck's Sun says; I
think when man is in trouble, II be
has good little boy to take his mind
from bis troubles, and got him mad at
something else, it rests him. Last night
we had hot maple syrup aud biscuit for
supper, and pa had a saucer full In
front of him, just n stcaming. could
see he was thinking too much about his
mining stock, and thought II there
was anything / could do to take his mind
off Of it, and place it on something else,
] would be doing kindness that would
be appreciated. ] sat on the right OF
pa, and when he wasn't looking l pulled
the table cloth so the saucer Of red hot
maple syrup dropped off in his lap. Well.
you'd died to see how quick HE
thoughts turned from his financial trou.
bles to his physical misfortunes. There
was about pint of hot syrup, and Il
went all over his lap and you know how
hot melted maple sugar is, and how ii
sort Of clings to anything. Pa jumped
up and grabbed hold of his pants leg,
to pull them away from hisself, and be
danced around and told ma to turn thu
hose on him, and then he took pitche
of ice water and poured it down hi
pants, and he said the condemned oil
table was getting so rickety that sauce
wouldn' stay on it, and I told pa if h
would put some tar on his legs, tn
same kind that he told me to put on m,
lip to make my moustache grow, tn
syrup wouldn't burn so, and then h
cuffed me, and l think he felt BETTER
1t is a great thing to get man
mind of his troubles, but where q mai
hasn't got any mind, like you, for in
stance" ~
At this point the grocery man picket
up fire poker, and the boy went out il
hurry and hung up sign in front o
the grocery, Cash paid for fat Dogs.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-04-05
Solving Two Problems.

He stopped saving wood and turned
TO the old man who was splitting and
piling and said
Father, cannot believe that was
cut out for farmer. The whole prob.
lem is right here; ! go to the city as q
clerk at dollar a day. In six months
I got raise to so per week. In q year
am given an interest in the firm, and
in ten am rich enough to buy and sell
you ten times over"
Eyes, that's one problem" slowly
replied the old man, land there's an
other; there's six cords Of wood left in
that pile, and II it isn't all sawed, split
and piled agin Saturday night, you don't
git no pair o now cowhide boots out Of
me! Hear me now, and make that
buck-saw strike fre!" - Wall Street
Ddilv News.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-04-05
The Dude,

The New York correspondent Of the
Brooklyn Eagle, sort Of MAN About
Town." notes the introduction of a new
word into the language. 1t is dude
or d-o-o-d. the spelling not having been
distinctly settled yet. Nobody knows
where the word came from, but it has
sprung into popularity within the past
few weeks, and everybody is using it.
The correspondent says of it:
1t means masher, and yet it means
something more than masher. For in
stance, a masher may be young or old,
he may mash by virtue of his politeness,
Of his accomplishments of his wealth,
beauty, eyes, nose or face; he may be u
man of mature years, an old man, q
young man, or boy. In speaking of
Washers one is never sure exactly what
sort of man is meant There is a
class of Washers in New York who will
now have definite place in the Ian
guage of the town rs dudes. A dude
cannot be old; he must be young, and
to be properly termed dude he should
be one of a certain class who affect the
metropolitan theaters. A dude is from
10 TO % years of age, wears trousers Of
extreme tightness, is hollow-chested,
effeminate in his way, apes the English,
and distinguishes himself among his
fellowmen as lover of actresses. The
badge of his Office is the paper cigar
cite, and his bell-crown English opera
hat is his cbiefest joy. They are seen in
large numbers at the theaters, where
they form one OF the interesting features
Of the evening entertainments. They
are offensive, because they blow cigar
cite smoke in ladies' faces and monop-
Ollie the bar between the acts. As a
rule they are rich mems sons, and very
proud Of the unlimited cash at their
command, They call all actresses by
their first names and affect extreme
familiarity with all things pertaining TO
the s:.!,sc; ~ in reality they know very
little personally OF the men and women
Of the dramatic profession. Still the
dude always possesses particular favor
lie OF the reigning theatrical celebrity.
They are harmless lot Of men one
way, for they are too shallow pated and
weak to accomplish any harm, but they
are sometimes offensive. No dude Is a
real dude who does not talk 10 fellow
dude in a loud voice during the play;
also, no dude who respects himself ever
takes a lady 10 the theater. They run
In pairs, and compare notes between
tho acts.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-04-05
THE DAILY BuLLE1TN.
Big Pedey, der Miller.

On dop Of der hill you can saw mil -. 49, q
Dot vas all played oud dough made Of shdOne,
Der bar vas deere und noisy shdill.tr
but Pedey. der miller, vas died und gone.
Morning und night und airly und lade.
Dot made no difference hot or cold, t.Fs s ,
He dcaed oud der Lager und visky shdraight
Dill him under der blaze got awful old.
"Big Fad Pedey" vas all der same
Und all OF der beebles dem liked him veil;
Bud vedder he owned any oder name, st
shwar OF knowed ] yoodind dell. 31 PISA
'Dvas big Fad Pedey. shlice of ham," ~ .,.l
Und "Big Fad Pedey q glass Of beer" sta IN
Bud Pede didn't seem for to care cent
So long as der jinkle Of shdambs he'd hear.
'Dyas big Fad Pedey" dem all aid call, Bra ~
Der Jacks, for sure, I'm going TO dold-
He vas big Fad Pedey' ven he vas shmal.
Und big Fad Pedey" ven he was old. Nf
Bud big Fad Pedey" dough he vas shdout
You mustn't dink dot he vasn'd shdrong;
He could drink dree barrels of beer CLEAN out,
Und den dob or init o shplendid song.
All der dime busy and fun Of fun, a.
All der dime doing his lifel besd,
He always dock care Of Number Von,"
Und boody goot care Of all der resd.
Dere vas always shmile on Pedey's face - 2
~ No madden how cold der vedder mighd be,
Der fire wood burn In Pedey's blace, i'cte
Sometimes In der nighd dill half-pasd dree.
How Pedey had lifed was knowed to fame.
Bud efry Won lader or soon musd go; .
80 Won day around der news did come
der bier und Pedey vas awful low"
Und den 'dvas dallled kinder shamefully
Der docdar vas dare und he vas died;
Und all der naypors rushed In to see,
"Boor Big Pedey,' vas all dey CRIED.
Dey pud him in his leedle bed,
His ulster coat dot vas his shroud;
"He's shkibbed der gutter" some Won said.
Und der dirt vas shoilled by der groud.
Cause he always bald for vat he got,
Und nefer dlnked dot vas sin,
Ven some Won vasn'd dot near der shbot
To pud blenty water in der gin.
On dob of der hill you con saw mill
bod vas all played oud dough made of shdone,
Der bar vas dere und noisy sdill, m ,| ~
But Pedey, der miller, vas died und gone.