davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13
LOST HIS PLACE.
7. s. Arthur.

"I'm very sorry, Mrs. Allison, but we
can't take him back" The superinten-
dent spoke kindly but firmly. "If it
were his first offence, we might let it
pass but he has given us this trouble too
often, and we shall now put quieter
man in his place."
"But it was the drink, Mr.. Grant-only
the drinkw urged the poor woman
There isn't more peaceable or kind
hearted man in all the shop than Jimmy,
when he lets drink alone. And you'll
give him credit for being a good work
mani"
"No better workman in the establish
ment, but the drink we can't stand any
longer. That spoils everything"
"You'll give him another trial Say
yes, Mr. Grant," pleaded the unhappy
wife.
"But Mr.. Grant said, "No, Mrs. Allison;
I'm very sorry, but this thing is settled.
Your husband must get work some
where else. We can't have him here
any longer.
"Oh, Mr.. Grant" cried the wrctched
woman, her voice rising to passionate
appeal, "just think of his poor old moth
er! II will break her heart"
"He should have thought of his poor
old mother, Mrs. Allison" returned Mr..
Grant, with coldness in his manner
that he did not feel. ave cam 1t take
these things into account"
1t was all in vain. Mrs Allison could
not move the superintendent, AM she
left his Office weeping bitterly,
at is hard case,' said Grant, speak
ing to his book-keeper in troubled
voice. "But we can't have Jimmy Ali.
son in the shop any longer. He will
take his glass, and when he gets too
much he grows quarrelsome. There's no
better workman. and no better man TO be
found, il he'd leave off tippling. But for
drink he'd be our foreman to-day, instead
ofa cast-of. His example is bad, AMI
we must remove it. He leads Others
astray"
Hell 90 TO ruin, I'm afraid" said the
book-keeper.
perhaps not. When pay him off, !
hall talk to him, kindly and seri ,usly.
And shall do more.'
~fWhat 2"
"Give him six months probation"
"Where and how?'
"Pm thinking it out. Can't sec il
clear, but 1t will come to me. Where
there's will there's way. His poor
old mother. That touches ne. Al, the
poor old mothers! If young men would
but think OF them as they should, there
would be fewer leart-aches at old age"
Mr.. Grant had harder trial stiil. In
her sorrow and despair old Mrs. Allison
came to the Office to plead for h..r son.
He was very kind to her, and tried {,
make her see that her sons loss Of his
place might really be the best thin lha,
4z1od ever happened 10 him. But this was
eas. Ghs NV nothins but evil in
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13
SHIMMELPFENlC'S uNCLE'S DOG.
The Comparative Merits of Native and
Foreign born CANNES.
Texas Stnipg.

Texas Siflings.
Fritz Shimmelpfenlg is a shrewd old
German. who prcsdes over the destinies
of groceIy store on the corner of Austin
Avenue and humble street, near the gas
factory. His ncighbors and customers
are mostly Americans, and on Saturday
evening they drop into Fritz's store, and
sitting around on barrels and boxes, hold
a kind Of social caucus, at which many
wild and improbable warns are told.
The other evening there seemed to be a
called meeting to discuss the intelligence
of dogs. Each loarer present has either
owned or been personally acquainted
with dog that was gifted with more
intelligence than college graduate,
Some of the lies would have reflected
credit on the columns of party organ
Fritz did not attempt to interrupt the
flow of mcndacity, nor diG he applaud
some stupendous yarns that really de
served official recognition Of some kind
He calmly smoked his pipe, and seemed
To be us happy us a clam in high water
After the gentleman h3d become some.
what exhausted, there was a silence for
a few minutes which Fritz took the adj
vantage of TO remark:
81 subbosc you dinks dose American
tog vas schmart, but dose togs must go to
school some times yet before dey comes
up init dose Shermany togs vat We have
in De old counthrie,"
The audience did not agree with Fritz
They insisted that the German dogs
born and bred under monarcbical
form OF government were inferior IN in
tellcct to the free and intelligent CANNES
of the United States, where upon Fritz
told story about dog owned by Fritz's
uncle, Baron Won Schimc,pfcnig. The
Baron was in the habit of giving the dog
a small coin every morning. The intel
igcnt brute was ia the habit of taking
the coin to the butcher, and receiving
in return q bone, which constituted the
dogs breakfast. This happened every
morning for almost year About a
week before Christmas the butcher mis-
sed the morning witt of the dog, and for
whole week he did not put IN an ap-
| pcarance. On Christmas morning, how
ever the dog trottcd into the butcher's
shop, and placing six small coins in the
butchers hand pointed with his nose to
a roast worth Just about the amount OF
money offered. The animal, instead OF
| buying % bone every morning, had saved
/ mp his money for Il whole week and in
vested in u square Christmas dinner"
| Such was the story Fritz told the Am
erican friends with perfectly straight
/ face. One y enc his audience slid of
the barrels and the counter, one of them
/ rcmarking:
ats no use trying to complete with a
/ imported liar. He is old Munchausen
| himself, or whatever his name is
| They moved to the door
81 wash so sorry about dat tog. De
| togs in Schcrmany vas so schmart dat
| dot tOg stood no show. If he had been
schmart like de oddcr toys in schermany
he would have bought dot meat on credit
and given hish note for de amount, 50
mine uncle he elf dot tog away"
"That'll do, Fritz; that'll do"
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13
4 smart Halliday.

Among the guests of a New York ho-
tel was maiden lady from the rural
districts The landlord noticed that
about nine o'clock every night she would
come down stairs, get pitcher of ice
water, and return to her room.
"Onc night" said he, 81 made bold to
speak to her, and asked why she did not
ring the bell for a hall-boy TO bring the
icc-water for her.
But there is no bell in my room"
mo bell in your room, madam? PRAY
let me show you;" and with that took
the pitcher of ice-water in my hand,
and escorted her to her apartment. Then
pointed out to her the knob of the
electric-bell. She gazed at il with Il sort
Of horror, and then exclaimed:
Dear mel Is that bell? Why. the
hall-boy told me that it was a fire alarm
signal, and that must not touch it cx-
cept in case of iire!'
"And that is how the hnll-boy saved
himself the trouble of going for ice-vl-
ter"
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13

and capable OF high degree of intel
lcctual cultivation"
1--WE have no less than three hundred
in this establishment. They are not
"hungry" she added hastily, in answer
tosome slight expression of anxiety that
doubtless portrayed itself on our counte-
nances. Il engage d man to come every
day and feed them"
now THEY FEED.
He bares his arm, the 800 are placed
thereon, and they suck until they are
satisfied Our immediate apprehensions
thus allayed, the lady proceeded to ex-
plain that the first process in the great
work of tanning and educating flea was
10 fasten an invisible gold thread
around its neck, by means of which 1t
could be lifted at pleasure or harnessed
to any Of the vehicles display III the
box before us.
A well nurtured specimen will often
live to the age of eight years, and with
evident pride she remarked, "We have
several among our troupe who are al
ready six wears old" and so saying she
handed us n powerful microscope and
pratilicd us by the sight of one of these
venerable fleas (magnifed to the size of
a wasp kicking and plunging violently,
in no wise impeded by the weight of its
golden collar. The entertainment began
with chariot race by Aea3 of variou;
rations.
The Russian was attached to its native
drosky, the Siberian to a slcdge. Eng
land, France and Germany had each
their Representatives, the former har-
messed, ! think, to common London
omnibus. Each competitor was sup
posed to be able to draw a body of six
times its own weight. The stage was
slightly tilted, however, in order to assist
the runners.
A FLEA BALLET.
Next we were treated to ballet, as
danced by some superior artistes. The
| lady opened one of the cardboard boxes
and extracted thence with a delicate
pair of pincers a dozen of dancing fleas,
each elegantly attired in-or rather, |
should perhaps say, covered by--a petit
coat of tissue paper, red, blue, green,
vellow-all the colors of the rainbow.
Each dancer was announced by name
as she entered upon the scene. Meess
Elizabet, Fraulein Anna, Mamzelel
Barbe and others, and each and all en-
courageJ by the voice of their directress,
performed the most astonishing evolu-
tons, whirling and hopping, skipping,
leaping wildly into the air in a way that
aas comical to behold. 1t was as if the
m;nutest of ballet girls had been cut in
two at the waist, the lower half perform
ing minus the head and shoulders, or
like Sabbatical dance of fairy lamp
shades bewitched.
Now and again, after some unusually
prodigious leap, an artist would be upset.
Then, beneath the gay voluminous skirt,
the struggling insect was for moment
visible; quickly replaced on its legs,
however, by the watchful care of its mis-
tress. Now came act the third, when
the interest was supposed TO eliminate,
and with much verbal flourish of trum-
pets a female rope dancer was produced,
second only in Ienown to the famous
Blcndin himself. This young lady's
name was Eliza.
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13
Feminiac Fact and Fancy.
None laugh better and oftener thar
women it'll fine teeth.-Finod.

None laugh better and oftener than
women it'll fine teeth.-Finod
Examine the outside shell of the
brides first pie if you would see a hard
case, says the bachelor Of the Bismarck
Tribune.
Mrs. Constance Fenimore Woolson's
fiction is so greatly liked in England
that great future is there prophesied for
her.
Lieutenant Governor Hin has Profess
sor Eiske's suit in hand. and the impend.
ing litigation will probably continue Il
number of years.
Monsignor Capel saws il is rare thing
TO find beauty of couutcnancc in wo-
man allied with great strength Of soul
intellectual power
When n woman pronounces the name
of Il man hut twice day there may be
some doubts a. TO the nature Of her SEN
timents but three times! -
Balzac.
Speaking of Professor Fiska and the
late Jennie McGraw Fiskc-
"'T,s educa ion f,mi the commoa m'ns"-
Use you aeai wise's money as yon feel inclined
DR.. Griffin, the step.father of Miss
Mary Anderson, writes TO a Louisville
friend rs follows: "While VIC are boat
ing on the Thamcs me.and Nary is the
synoshure ofall eyes,
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13
Recipe for Sore Throat

"Mrs. Woodruff, is this you?" asked the
court of female about 40 years old who
came out with her parasol raised above
her head.
eyes, your honor, this is me, Pm cor
ry to gay. This is the last time that ever
a doctor will fool me into gargling whis-
ky to cure a sore throat"
"You had a sore throat"
"a bad one, sir. Ii has been two
weeks since have eaten solid food"
"And as you gargled some Of the wills
ky slipped down and produced intoxica-
tion?"
"EXactly, sir"
"Mrs. Woodruff, hay recipe for sore
throat is thirty days in the work house,
and never knew it to fail of cure.
This is your first appearance here, and
shall let you 60"
Thanks, sir shall leave for Toledo
to-day"
"And you'd better stick to that town.
Sore throat is such a familiar ailmcnt
down there that everybody is expected
to gargle."
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13
Knee-ISrcerhos and Bicycle

The Rev. George f. Pcntccost, who i,
well-known rs an expert rider of the BIZ
cycle has learned to love the peculiar
costume Of the wheclman.
81 wish every day of my lite" he says
that | could wear these knce-brecches
They are the most comfortable clothes
ever had on, and think they are the
most sensible. And | look forward to
the time when business men, who have
adopted sensible cut-away coat be-
cause it is out of their way, will adopt
the more sensible trousers. It has been
suggested, however, that the main rea-
son why short clothes don't come again
in fashion is because of the smallness OF
most mems legs, but think if the men
keep riding bicycles they will get more
lers by-and-by, and, perhaps if the bicy-
cle had been in vogue in David's time
he would not have said the Lord taketh
no pleasure in the legs of man. But
not to make the least parody upon the
Scripture, ! think the requisite amount
Of exercise which comes from riding a
bicycle would bring an amount of phv-
sical dcvelopement in the lower parts OF
our bodies which we stand very much ir
need of; and so | think the bicycle is
going to he a reiorcer in the matter OF
clothes, and IN very proper direction.
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13
PULLED THE LINE.
A squatt.r with Valuable straw Hat
The Conductors FLASK.
ArkRnsaw Traveller.


Arkansaw Traveller.
An old squatter boarded a train the
other day, and sat with an air of deep
concern, watching the conductor and
brakemen. He noticed that when the
conductor pulled the rope the train
stopped, and he did not understand how
so much power could be attached to such
cord, but determining not TO exhibit
that quality which he had so often
crushed--inquisitiveness-he remained
quiet He looked out of the window at
the whirling farm houses and fences
that seemed to be trying to keep up with
the train, and his straw hat blew off
Rising from his seat he gave the bell
cord vigorous pull and the train soon
came to a standstill The old fellow got
off and found his hat near the steps,
where it had been carried along by the
motion Of the train. When he re-en-
tered the coach. the conductor was furi-
Gus. He pulled the bell cord as though
he would break it, and turning to the
old fellow demanded:
"What the devil have you been doing?"
''Drapped my hat an snatched the
clothes-line. Anything outen order q?
Hope didn't break nuthin'."
a wish you lad broken yeur head,
and am a mind to PUT you off, confound
you"
"You ken confound me rs much as you
please, mister, but III be dinged ifit
wouldn't take good one to put me off"
"Why did you ring that bell ?"
what made me jerk the clothcs-hneP ?
| told you that drapped my hat"
"Yotr hats not worth fifteen cents"
"Not TO YOU, mister, because it amt
your'n. II ain't wuth nuthin' to you, but
she's all I've got, an dinged i'll don't
stop your contrapshun every time she
ilips off"
"Pull that rope again and ri leave
you in the woods"
"You may leave me, but doggcd if
leave my hat, an whenever she ilips,
| look out"
"If you don't want to lose your hat
don't look ont the window"
"The window was put here t) look
outen, an Pm goin' to look outcn it,"
After awhile the train stopped on Il
bridge. and the old fellow looked out. 4
gust of wind blew his hat off and it fell
into the river.
"Tharw he exclaimed. "Dangcd if
she amt gone"
"What's the matter ?" asked the cen
ductor, who had witnessed the calamity.
"Yonder she goes" said the old fellow,
pointing. "Sad loss TO me-"
The conductor laughed. "llow did she
happen to ,go?.
"an' see that fish lirter the hat, will you,
Jes' look at himw
The conductor looked ont and the old
fellow tipped his hat over into the river
"Scusc haste and bad pcn," he sail
with grin.
The conductor looked at him a mo.
ment and said:
What do you drink, old fcllowW
Everything stronger than water
"IIerc is some fine brandy" and hc
BANDED the old fellow hali-pint flask
Take drink as sympathzer ofmi3-
fortune. We are in the same boat, yet
see, and | must confess that you have
beaten me. Touch ii light. A little OF
it goes a long ways"
lie turned up the flask, drained the
last drop, and said "Ah, a little of il
does go a long ways-gocs all the way
an holds log rollin' rs she travels
Take the bottle an fill her up again n
the iust opportunity"
The conductor looked at the old fellow
AMI then at the flask, but didn't say any
thing
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13
A FLEA THEATRE.
Dramatic Entertainment Given by "a Com
pany Of Flcas at panizig.
Fall Mall Gpz dtc


There was fair going on outside the
gates of this most picturesque old city.
Wandering among the booths our curl
osity was excited by one which bore the
following inscription; "Pariser Floh-
Theatre The theatre was about the
size Of an ordinary tambourine, which
instrument it greatly resembled. We
looked with interest at certain cardboard
boxes which stood beside the theatre.
Ono of these was open, and showed a
number of tiny vehicles, carriages, bicy-
cles, engines, Roman chariots, all as
minute as possible.
The other boxes, with lids. contained
the actors themselves. The cnterprisine
manascrcss, stont lady in a cotton
dressing gown, placed herself opposite at
the table and pref,cedih the entertainment
with a short bu, interesting address:
The ordinary domestic fiea," she began,
lis . creature ofconsiderable intelligence,
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13
LITERARY NOTES.
Gossip About Rocks aud the People WHO
Write Them.

or John Browns "Rab and III
Friends" 5000 copies have becn ula iy
England.
Mr.. W. o. Stoddard has written nca
novel which Mrssrs. White, Stokes 4 N.
len are to publish.
a Life of Marie Antoinette" in.
been prepared by Sarah Tytler for ia,
New Pluntarch Series, published by the
Putnams.
That was a hasty but well-intenlionea
student at Yale who inquired at the Ii.
brary for "some other poems by Chevy
Chase
Sir Samuel w. Baker has written n
book which promises to be interesting
to boys. Its title is TO be "True Tales for
My GrandsoLs."
Mr.. Richard Grant Whites edition OF
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13
--------- - a,
Warranted, "ProNiitn'." "
Detroit + ee Press.

A man in the central market was III
need of boy to assist him at his peanut
stand, and in some way II became known
to colored man on Calhoun street.
Yesterday morning he put in an appea
ance, accompanied by his boy, t'l
II, and applied for the place.
Can your boy read and write? l7ked
the peanut man.
"He kiu, sab"
Il he willing and industrious? I?
"Iie am, dat"
Can you guarantee his INTEGRITY =
"I-I-dat's leetle mixed, boss. Does
You refer to his pittin' up airly =
81 refer TO his honesty. II shool
leave him in charge here for seFer.,,i,
hours would he abuse my confidence
"Well, sah," as he walked around lhe
stand to sec how 1t closel M, "ft you
shet down the kiver an turn the Key
an leave dat boy on de char heah wa
plenty of apples TO eat, I'll warrant ms
integrity agin de prominentest man l"
Detroit ~
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13
ENENTIljE.
ny CLARA BUSH.
ARKANSAS.

Nv CLARA fl>i.
lis sweet to m,ili att alone
At gate, ,ven'ide;
give the reinS ~ memory,
Aud 10, thought range at liberty
Tue rslms Of fsncy wide.
The ahea visions come and go,
Amid the sha les that faii:
cceres that viewed In other years,
With eyes unused to sorrows tear,
Are missed ON the wall.
I sec a little, limpd brook,
Hall by the shadows hid
And hear murmur sweet A. song,
As IL gently giides along
Over its peboly bed.
Upon It's banks Of mossy green,
Like gems snd daisies gleam;
And sweet, wild roses, early blown,
some leaves of pink and pearl have thrown
Upon the ripping stream.
ofyore l oflen wandered here,
Seeking wildwood flowers,
which gave me such delight, before
One shadow was reflected DER
LIES fair auroral hours.
Loved voices that have lobg been still,
hear al evcntide;
And phantom forms Of dear friends dead,
with an airy, noiseless tread,
Before my vision glide.
Twas eve, when In Gcthsemsne,
The Saviour was betrayed
sorrow ful and lonely wall
Rose from the gloom enshrouded vale.
Whore, week, he knel, aud prayed.
My heart draws near unto the Lord,
In prayer at eventiie;
think of His great love for me,
see the cross ON Calvary,
Is, His own iiio-blooi dyed.
ask Him 10 forgive all sins,
Committed through the day,
And fold mo closer 10 His breast,
And let me there securely rest,
Never, never TO estray.
At eve there steal, sweetcr calm
My weary spirit DER;
My lifcwork here is nearer done.
And nearer heavens shore.
When misty shadows fill my room,
And perfect stiffness regns.
In fancy sweet ! sometimes hear
A minstrelsy Of seraphs near,
Singing celestial strains.
o nay the pale death angel come
For me at close of day:
when the last sunbesms leave the sky,
II seems the fittest time TO die,
And pass from earth away.
Me thinks 'twould then be even sweet
To quit this weary home.
For deaths deep sleep will only be
The prelude to eternity,
Where death no more can come.
The dusky wells ofeyening
Are spread by Gods own hand,
He makes His omnipresence known,
And rules the world from His high thr ne,
BY ininitc command.
o, weary heart Of nine, have cheer,
And in Gods love coniide;
So swim the moments onward flow,
Twill not he very long. know,
Ere comes lies even tide.
And then, q may my soul find rest
Where saints in peace abide;
hope. when deaths response is ser,
To wake on heavens bllssml shore,
Where CON es no even-tide.
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13

Professor Blackies "Wisdom of
Goethe is coming from the press of
Charles Scribner's Sons. The same
hose is about to issue Prof. Julius
Kosthip's Life of Martin Luther"
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13

Suffering is a heavy plow driven by
an iron hand. The harder and more
rebellious the soil the more it is turned.
the richer and softer the deeper it is
cut into.
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13

Fright, not hydrophobia, recently kill.
ed a Young New Yorker who was bitten
by a healthy dog in the morning, and
died of nervous exhaustion in the even.
ne.
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13

some men are so lacking in hospitali-
" that they will not even entertain an
Idea. Transcript.
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13

By the end of the month man can
give his straw hat to the poor.-New Or
leans pscayune.
The Osceola times., 1883-10-13

This story for the marines is fioaun
around the papers, viz: A peachtrree
Auburn, Cal, which has heretofore borhe,
very fine peaches, stands near seyera,s
plum trees, and this year hangs full ol m
plums. The peach and plum trees were
in blossom at the same time.
An Irish debating club-the shilleghah
The Judge.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-10-14
GEN. HANCOCK.

Improving in Health and Ready for a
Change of Commands when Ordered.
New YORK, Oct, 13.-General Hancock
was seen III bed On Governors Island 10y
an associated press reporter who cslled to
inquire about the succession Of General
Hancock TO the command of the depart
of tee Missouri. The General said, 81
know nothing at all about the matter be-
y0nd what is in this mornings papers.
The order has not been issued as yet, tut
probably will to-day. It affects
many others besides me and
of course important disposition
OF commands Will be under discussion
some time, but SO far as 1 know no deter
mination has been reached yet" He
could not, however, tell whether his fu-
ture headquarters would be at Chicago or
elsewhere. The general intimstes the
change to the department. of the Missouri
would not be displeasing to him. He SAID
he was much improved in health end in-
tended getting up this afternoon though
be expected to be confined to the house for
several days. He SAID i. wss his last GAY
Id bed.