davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-04-17
Umbrellas as Weapons.

In reading the evidence which Town
Councillor Carey gave as to the Ptenix
Park murders--or removals." as the
Irish Iuvinchles call them-lt is imlos
sible to avoid wishing that the heroic
victims of hired stabbers bad been arm
ed To carry arms is repugnapt, in all
circumstances, to the character OF the
civilized E ,g|ishman. In the old shoot
ing days in New O.eans our country
men found it to be wise, as well as con
genial to their ideas, to wear no pistols
Probably Mr. Forster went uuarmed
among the Williams who were plotting
against his life, while Englishmen at
home we're consplring under Irish i, flu-
ence, against his reputation. Mr.. Burke
carried no revolver, and Lord Frederick
Cavendish was q ially unarmed. Had
it been otherwise they might possibly
have scattered the mob of cravens. who
hacked them to death. In days when
gentlemen wore swords, skilled fencer
would have chance for his life against
men armed with knives. Lord Feeder.
ick had only his umbrella; with this
when Mr.. Burke was assaulted, be struck
one of the ruffians across the face, there.
by sealing his own doom An umbrella
is worse than useless as a striking weap-
on; but the point can De used with dead
ly effect. A thrust in the face may kill
and will certainly main and mark rui-
a. f. n
the Alexandria massacre, drove the point
of his stick through the mouth and out
at the back of the neck of an Arab who
attacked him, and afterwards fought his
way to the ship This value Of the um.
brella may sometimes be usefully re-
membered by Englishmen who carry nc
other weapon.-London Graphic.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-04-17
How He Got Even.

"A tony young man of Detroit escor-
ted corple Of equally tony girls to u
botel there the other day. At the top
of the stairs leading to the parlor one
of the damsels dropped her silk umbrel
la, which slid to the bottom. The youth
descended after it, and just then portly
AID near-sighted gentleman came along
asking everybody if they had seen q
hack driver who had engaged to take
him out. For the fun of the thing the
girls directed him to the youth below,
and the old gentleman shouted to him
"Here, you. why don't you have my hacl
on time as you promised ?" The youns
man was staggered for moment, unit
he saw the girls gisgling, and took il
the situation. Then he arose, equal t'
the emergency, and replied: "Oh, In
not the hackman; just came down t.
have little fun with those two waite
girls up there"
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-04-17
Precious Hope--peruna.

One morning while be (her husband
was holding her ur in order that she
could breathe more easily, after having
struggled with bad spell of coughing,
he made the remark that he did not he
lieve she would ever get well, when she,
in her weakness, said: "Yes, l will, if
you will bring DR., HARTMAN. Th-
doctor was brought. He prescribed a
teaspoonful of Peruaa every hour. She
began to improve from the first dosa
she took. She told me to-day she hss
never felt better in her lie than she
does now, and that she cannot saw too
much for Peruna A MILLER.
Her husband writes: "South Chicago,
I'll Dec. 10, 1881: have living wit
ness of the virtuo OF Persna in my
wife, who was saved from death nv it
/ certify that every word on page 80 in
Dr. HARTEAN's book on the ellis of
Lie" is true IN every particular
T. S. EBERLINE.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-04-17
A Story of a Very Polite Man.
Saratoga Journal

Before the days of railroads Horace
Greeley left Utica one morning in 6
stage coach. His only fellow-passen
ger was gentleman of prepossessing
appearance, with whom he fell into con-
versation. After q while the stranger
drew cigar-case from his pocket and
offered its contents to Mr.. Greeley for
him to take from it cigar He declin-
ed the polite offer, and the conversation
was resumed. Presently the gentleman,
taking cigar from the case, put it in
his mouth, and returned the case to his
pocket. While they were talking lie
abruptly but courteously remarked to
Mr. Greeley:
81 hope, sir, you have no objection to
a cigar3"
"None in the world" answered Gree.
ley, "when it is not lighted"
"Oh," replied the gentleman, 81 had
not the femotest thought of lighting it,
"Tben and there" said Mr.. Greeley,
laughing, twas the only time / was ever
outdone in politeness / afterward as
certained that my victor was the famous
Captain Sherman, of Lake Champlain.'
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-04-17
Didn't Know Cato.

A little knot of men got into dis
pute in Deadwood regarding some o.
the ancients A part of the crowd held
that Cato was a great poet, while others
asserted that he was an orator, and il
was finally agreed to leave it to a grocer
around the corner who was supposed to
be we'll posted on most all matters. The
crowd therefore proceeded to his store
in body, and the spokesman brusquely
queried:
Say, Jim, can you settle dispute p
"Yes, sir" was the prompt reply.
"Well, then, what was Cato's best
hold 7"
"Cato-Cato-hold on minute" re-
piled Jim, as he started for his desk
He opened his ledger, ran down the in
dex to &C." glanced over the names and
then returned and said:
Don't find him here on my books
and reckon he was some scrub who
Jumped In here awhile, got down to roots
and then took the cross cut for Gunni-
son. Did he go through any of you?
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-04-17
Learn Trades.

Popular education is proper thing
and should by all legitimate means be
encouraged. But the bitter and sweet
are to be found in all things on earth.-
Education at the present day, althougt
it may not have been pushed to its high<
est development, already contains a gem
of evil that is having more or less Sc.
rious effect upon the solid prosperity of
the country, although this is not the
fault actually OF our system or of its
development, but rather of false idea
in regard to labor that education should
not but nevertheless seems to inculcate.
The boy whose parents can afford to
send him to college learns theories The
high schools have been brought to such
sn elevated standard that the SON of the
'workingman who is compelled to take
advantage Of them for lack of means to
90 through college is placed nearly ii
not quite upon the same footing. The
result is that generally every college or
high school graduate forsake the trade
or business of his father. He feels that
Phe is cut out for poet, an author, a
preacher or a lawyer. He concludes
that his education has made him too
aud too full Of brains to-
adept the pursuit of mechanic.
This is obviously great mistake
There are too few men of education who
become mechanics and artisans, and the
country suffers in consequence. Brains
and cultivation are of as great service to-
mechanics as they are to professional
men, and 1t is mooted question If the
former are not Of more benefit to the
general interests OF the country than the
latter.
The skilled labor of the country has
OF late years come largely from foreign
sources, for the reason that our yodDg
men of education and ability are fool
ishly ashamed to learn trades. We are
overrun wit1 doctors and lawyers and
poets, but comparatively speaking we
have furnished very small proportion
Of cur share OF mechanics The Truth
of the whele matter is that il our young
men would put their brains into trades
this country would be better able to
compete with foreign manufacturers
Harrisburg Patriet.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-04-17

Would you he free from Gatarrah,
Hay Fever and Cold in Headf Try
Elys' Cream Balm. 1t is curing hum
dreds Of chronic cases. Price so cents.
Apply into nostrils with little fin
ger.
Fr0mB +. Lipsn r, A. NJ, Red
Bank, N. j.: | have been troubled with
Catarrh so badly for several years that
it seriously affected my voice. / tried
DR.. Is remedy without the slightest
relief One bottle of Elys' Cream Balm
did the work. Ny voice is fully re-
stored and nv head feels better than for
years. B. F. LIEpsNER.
Mr.. John r: Bennett, Druggist,
Muskegon, Mich.-In regard to your
inquiries about Elys' Cream Balm for
the cure of Catarrh, my answer is, can
recommend it always as the best remedy
| have ever used. DR.. j. S. VAUGHAN,
Dentist, Muskegon, Mich.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-04-17
NUMBER 10.
A Stree Breakfast Table,"
Congressional Record, Feb. 1s.

Mr.. ELLIS. Mr. Chairman, | am yery
sorry that ] do not find nv amiahle
friend from New Hampshire, Mr. Briggs,
in his chair, as | desired to take break
fast with him this morning and to show
him the true inwardness of a 'free break
fast-table.' Some theorist forty or fifty
years ago talked about "free breakfast
table, and ever since that time down to
the present, in the minds of certain gen.
tlemen, that expression has lived and
has on their tongues occasionally found
utterance. That gentleman, Mr.. Chair
man, seemed to think that with free su-
gar and free coffee he would realize his
dream OF free breakfast.table.
Let Us see, sir, what his free break
fast-table amounts 10. From bis medi-
itations in tue morning. quaffing perhaps
glass OF mineral water taxed 55 per
cent, he is summoned to breakfast by
the sound of a bell taxed 55 per cent,
whose voice Is given utterance and sound
by an iron clapper taxed 40 per cent ;
obeying the summons, he enters through
door taxed 35 per cent, walks on a
carpet taxed 20 cents per square yard
and 81 per cent. ad valofem, or else up
on oil-coth taxed 40 per cent, seats
himself upon chair taxed As per cent,
stretches ais legs com fortahly under the
table (nahogany) taxed ,35 per cent
turns over bis china plate tsxed, IS per
cent, and toys with cup tsxsf so per
cent. He puts into that cup his free .u.
gar and his free coffee, aud then adds
milk taxed 20 per cent, and then with
spoon taxed 35 per cent stirs 1t around
and around Laughter and applause
He nibbles coquettishly at little oat-
meal taxed halt cent pound, and then
with cutlery taxed 35 per cent. he dis
sects roll taxed 20 per cent, and upon
it puts butter taxed cents pound
II TApplause.and laughter
He pours out milk taxed 21 per cent.
into cut glass goblet taxed 40 per cent, !,
perhaps angles for a mackerel faxed 80
per barrel, or Goldfish ball taxed 43 per.
cent, taxed on the Goldfish, and potatoes
taxed 15 cents bushel; takes little
slice OF breakfast bacon taxed 2 cents q
pound, aad perhaps tries the mysteries
and realities of tender beefsteak taxed
cent pound. Laughter He co.
qnets with an omelet made of eggs tax.
ed 20 per cent. and butter, as Ishsve
said. a cents pound; and then, panses.
1 to reflect upon the beauties and glnries
of-what the gentleman from New Hamp.
shire denominates free breakfast-table.
But that is not all, Mr. Chairman.-
When he gets through he takes silver
of tooth-pick made from piece of
pine board tax ID 80 so thousand and
picks his teeth taxed 20 per cent. with
it Great laughter And then, iu
shoes tsx.d % per cent. and under a hat
taxed 10 per cent, he puts on glasses
taxed 40 per cent. and gazes upon the
granite mountain taxed 81 per ton and
thanks God solemnly for the glories Of
a free breakfast-table Great Laughter [
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-04-17
Selfrf Story.
Romance Of Housecleaning.

sis she coming 10 visit you ?" said
Eric Hale with slight grimace, "that
simpering fine lady with useless white
hands and the shallow | tile society
laueh2 Oh, Aunt Della. pack my port
manteau and let me be off on lecturing
tour until Flora Lees visit comes to an
end!"
Mrs. Dove looked little disappoint
ed To confess the truth she had espe-
cially arranged this visit with reference
TO her nephew Eric.
"He's a fne young fellow" she had
said to herself with true feminine diplo-
macy. "with an excellent parish and fine
prospects-aEd it's high time he was SET
tied in life with wife; and think Flora
Lee would suit him exactly.
And here was the young man himseli
upse,ting this charming little castle in
the air, without the least scruple Of con-
science, like the modern iconoclast that
he was
"Well, Eric" said Mrs. Dove despair.
ingly, "I'll write her not to come oil
course l don't want to put you out jus,
when you're so busy, too, with tina,
course Of lectures on the book OF Reve-
latious. But I really thought Flors
would make the house lively"
"She's q deal too lively to suit me-
said Eric Hale. "Ask her to come in
June, when ] shsll be of to Omaha and
Nevada on that conference business bu,
as for visitor should prefer little Pol.
ly Peppercorn's big wax dell with the
silk black hair and staring black eyes
that open and shut by machinery"
So Mrs. Dove, choking back the tears
of disappointment, for she had been
nursing this pet scheme in secret for 6
long while, sat down and wrote q letter
to her friend, Miss Lee, postponing the
proposed soiourn at Cedarborough farm
until roses should be in bloom and straw.
berries begin to ripen.
"Adonjah." she said to the hired
man. stake this letter to the postoff1ce. ;
eyes, 'um," said Adonijah, and he put
the letter in his pocket and slraIghtway
forgot all about it.
1t was asdismal, rainy morning ir
April, the yellow Jorquils beaten to The
ground; the very wild violets shutting
up their eyes as il in unmitigated DISCUS
at the unpromising state Of the weather
Overhead racks OF gay clouds seuddeG
across the heavens and the little sheet o.
silver lakelet under the bill was dotted
and dimpled all over with falling rain as
if pierced with thousand tiny javelins
Its no use trying" said Mrs Dove
plaintively: "the fates themselves have
conspired against me!'
The carpets were up, the pals o
whitewash stood stesming in the middle
of the floor, and Mrs. Dove herself, will
her gray curls tied up in yellow dam
ask pocke.-handkerchief which her grea
uncle had brought from China half I
century ago, sat crying on the lowe
edge of step ladder; for Betsey, th,
help, had .sllen down the cellar stair
and broken her leg, and Mrs. Mulrony
the char. had sent message tha
her eldest son had broken out "wid d
maisles, sure-speckled oil over like
shower Of red pepper, and sorra bit o
clsnin' could she undertake for until th'
wakes over"
"And these three DAYS OF all others,
sighed Mrs. Dove, when Eric had ex
changed pulpits with Mr., Wasnhurne
And be so dislikes .cleanlng; an
-"
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-04-17

And when, later in the evening, Mrs
Dove crept ont with her head tied up in
eau de Cologne she found her nephew
and Flora Lee playing chess together by
the fire in the most amiable manner i'm
aginable.
It's all right" said Mrs. Dove to
herself
1t was all right. And Mrs Eric Hale
won her frank, unconventional husband,
not through the medium of dress, or
jewels, or wal,zas, or flower-shows but
through the grim realities OF house.
cleaning.
81 wanted genuine helpmeet," says
the Rev. Eric, and have GOT one"
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-04-17
Nnehp.
BIJAH'S STORY.

He was little more than baby,
And played in the street all day,
And he held in bis tiny fingers
The st-ing of broken sleigh.
He was ragged, and cold, and hungry.
Yet his face was sight to STE,
AS he lisped to passing lady
"Plethe, mitAus, will you yide mel"
But she drew close her fur-lined mantle,
Aud her train of silk and lace,
While she stared, with naughty wonder,
In the eager, piteous face.
And the eyes that shone 80 brightly,
Brimmed over with gushing rain.
And the poor little head dropped lower,
While his heart beat cad refrain.
When night came. cold and darkly,
And the lamps were all alight,
The pallid lips grew whittier
With childish grief and fright.
As was passing the entrance
Ola church across the way,
; found poor dead baby
With his head on broken sleigh.
Soon young. eager footsteps
Were heard on the frozen street,
And boy dashed into the station,
Covered with snow and sleet.
On his coat was newsboy's number.
On his arm "a bran new sled'
"Have you seen my brother. BijahP
He ought to be home in bed.
".You see leave him at Smithers
While go round with the press;
They must have forget about him,
And he's strayed away, guess.
Last night when he said Our Father
And about the daily bread.
He Just threw in an extra,
Concernin' a nice new sled.
Il was telling the boys at the Office,
And how he was only three,
So they stuck in for this here sumner
And sent it home with mel
r "knd won't-what's the matter, Bijah
Why do you shake your headp
Oh, Father in heaven have pity!
Oh, Bijah, he can't be deadT
He clasred the child to his bosom
In passionate, close embrace.
His tears and kisses falling,
'Twixt sobs, on the little face. as-
Soon the boyish grief grew silent;
There was never tear nor a moan, =
For the Heart of the dear Lord Jesus
Had taken the children home.
IS. E B.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-04-17
NOTARY BBLIC.

T,HN undersigned, having been appointed
/ Notary Public, would inform his
friends, and the public generally, that he is
prepared to 6ll Pensioners Blanks. admin
is.ar Oaths, take Dispositions, acknowledge
Deeds. Mortgages. and other instruments o.
writing. JOHN JBPRBRs.
iprlS,76Y Bsallsville. Monroe Ce A.te
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-04-17
xsn;a nsr,oora,.N.v.

The day is not far distant when the
Cincinnati Enquirer will be recognized
as Democratic organ by no one. 1t
has been an injury to the Democratic
party in the past, and If Ohio goes Re-
publican at the next State election, the
Enquirer will be the cause of it.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-04-17

p Are you BilliousP Try the. remedy
that cured Mrs Clement of Franklin, NJ
Il. Hoods Sarsaparilla, made in Low
ell, Mass. es
Money and fame are two things that
men work hardest for; and after death
one is worth just about as much to them
as the other.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-04-17
. nnAaxertisinr Rates:

s1Leeal advertisements charged at the rate
sf enc dsilar per square for first insertion. and
6fty cents fer each subsequent insertion.
Admipistratsr's or Executors, Attachment
xs1 Read Notices. 80 90.
%Lecal Notices, per line, first insertion. 10
cents, and I've cents per line for each additional
week. ~ n@-s - .E-scs- rsEs
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-08-14
Telling it very Short

'I'll tell it sir, in few words if 1 can, but the
story would fill book if Justice was done to it..
surely, Michael, but put it short this time sos
can squeeze it into page of letter paper
Here you are, sir, then, and there are thous-
ands of people here in Blnghamton, N. Y, who
will testify 10 the truth of what say. My name
is Michael Guilfoyle am seventy four years old
For about nine years was almost shut ont from
the world by rheumatism. l had peddled small
wares in this city for years, and had TO stop al
together At the best of times could only hob
bic miserably about with my cane. | was bent
nearly double with pain and weakness, and my
wreck of once strong wan. None OF the medl-
cines usually given for rheumatism did me the
least good sir. Ny old friends and customers
forgot me, as though l were under ground,
with the end of my nose and the tips of my toes
Turned up to the roots of the daisies
My DAYS and nights were doleful and painful. |
had no hope except in death. That Is Gods truth
and Mr.. Mosher, here, knows it.
II can't tell yon how, but PARKER 9 Tonic cured
me That was three years ago. I'm lively as a
cricket now, sir, and go my business rounds every
day rain or shine. You may tell this TO all the
world, and refer the dOubters TO me-
This preparation, which has been known as
PARKER's GINGER Tonic, will be called simply
PARKER's Tonic. This change has been made
for two reasons: first because ginger is an uni1n
portant havoring ingredient, and second, because
mdrincpled dealers deceive their customers by
substituting inferior preparations under the name
| of ginger.
! There is no change, however, in the preparation
| ITSELF and all bottles remaining in the hands o
! dealers wrapped under the name of Parker's Gin
! ger Tonic contain the gennine medicine if the
fac-simile signature of HIsCox Co. is at the bot
! tom of the outside wrapper.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-08-14
THE MARKETS.

CHICAGO. Ang. 13.-Rodiger & McIntyre's
market letter Of this morning says: Foreign
advices were strong this morning and before
opening of the board September sold at 81 04.
The first sale on the board was at Sl.0S&
from which figure the price generally receded
to 81. .034, and subsequently broke to s. e1s,
closing this afternoon at SlO2AQl O2ss5.
This weakness was chiefly due to severe de-
cline in stocks in New York, Corn, though
lower in sympathy with the general weak
ness was comparatively steady, which Is
mainly due to a continuation of very active
shipping demand, something hike 4oo,ooO
bushels having been taken for shipment to
day. Oats were weak again in view of the
heavy crops and larger receipts. Provisions
were very weak. October pork selling a,
Sl2 h2-.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-08-14

LONDON, Aug lS--The Times Madrid cor
respondent says an order has been issued by
the authorities forbidding the printing of any
news touching the insured tiouary move
ments in Spain, except what is officially sup
piled from the home office, and cautioning
the editors of papers to abstain from com
ments upon current events. The correspond.
ent adds that the strictest censorship contiu-
nsS on kilograms.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-08-14


Sent Sent Wheat, % 0s$T IO3z l021s LO29s
Oct. wheat l05% LO5% l.04 l439
Sept. corn. 5Ok 5OA 49]z 491s
Oct corn. -. 4994 4994 1915 491s
Year corn. 45% 45k 45 451s
Aug. oats 26l 264 2514 2515
~. Louis. - EH
ST LOUIS, Mo, Aug u.-Wheat-Unset-
tied and lower. No. red Sl.O614 cash,
Sl06$4 August, Sl,0S September, SLlO1s DC
tober. SLIP November, Sl.06$4 year,
Corn-Slow and lower at 46c cash 46Lc
August 463Ic September, 46Ac October, 44c
November aud May, 1870 year Oats-Firm
and slow, 25L<d2534c cash 24$4c August and
September, 25L5c October, 4%c year, 299
29I6c Nav Professionalism dull and lower;
iobbing,at SIC ~. Bacon dull Tong clear
&c sRort ribs 7l5c. short clear 71sc Bulk
meats noniuaIy lower Lard nominal
New Work.
NEW YORK, Aug. 13.-Wheat-Rg%c
lower, dun and heavy; trading largely IN
optious; No white, nominal; No. red An
c::st, 81 17G1 I7$S; September, Sl17$4@
1917; October, 81 1870 L20l2; November,
81 22(d 2225; December, sl23$4 al 243s
Corn-Dull, hdAc lower; mixed western
spot, 5Ud63c; futures, 611E@62c. Oats-4G
I5c lower; western, 3605Oc Provisions
Beef, dull and nominal; new extra, Sl25O6t
Ii Pork, duh and weak spot new mess. 81
Ml5 25 Lard dUll and lower, steam Ten
dered s. 80
TOLEDO, O., Aug. Wheat-Dull q
sh ale lower: No : white, SL0l; No. red
cash 81 llkGl l214 August Sl.il4 Sep
tember, 81 1284 October, $L144 Novem
her, 81 Il asked; year $L1l&; January
| 81 % bid No red s. o. No. red 81; re
| iected 90c Corn-14c lower, quiet; higf
| Iuixad 55lZr. No . cash August or Septella
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-08-14
Sma,I.Pox among Indians.

DULUTH, ,lAug rs. "A. McGnnis,a ,au explorer
who has Just returned from 1tasca county
Mum, reports that small pox is making ter
'ible work among the Indians living in that
county. He relates fearful stories of then
offerings and privations. They are entirely
without medical aid, and this terrible diseass
las full sway. In two small towns eighty
I've deaths are reported.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-08-14
Chatauqua Assembly.

CHAUTAUoUA, n. y, Aug. I5-The sec,
ond week of the assembly opens under favor
able auspices Rev DR.. Joseph Cummings
d. D., Of Evanston, Ill, president of the
northwestern university, lectured this morn
ing on Punishment Under Divine and HUI
man Laws, and Professor Richards, of Chi
eago, afterwards spoke on 'our Debt to tht
sun" A large number Of press representa-
tives are here, and will soou form the Chau
tauuua Press association.