National Republican., 1883-04-13


THE Chicago Inter Ocean hilariously whoops
out musical supplement entitled the " Full Of
JOY Gallop."
UMBRELLAS are made in France to the ag-
gregate value Of S6OO0OOO. Turkey is her best
foreign customer.
The New Orleans Picdyunc clutches its
stomach ruefuly, and inoans that ''the fall of
the price Of cucumbers only adds more misery
to the world"
"YoU said, Mr.. Jones, your umbrella had
straight handle ~ al thought 1t did; but since
1t vanished l am quite certain 1t ended with
hook"-Boston 7raUeier.
THE Baltimore American says that "prize
fights are becoming fashionable" Whereat tho
Commercial Aduertiser remarks that the next
thing VIII be that stealing is getting stylish.
IT has been matter of wonder why women
should kiss each other but the reason is simple
enough when you know It. That Is the only way
they can stop each other from talking.-Boslon
Transcript.
AT Sarah Bernhardt's tea the other day
certain Count X appeared with his arm in sling
having wounded himself while out shooting.
ReallyP' quoth the sympathetic Sarah, $50 there
was no other gamer?
STORY is telegraphed that hailstones Of
the Size of hens eggs fell at Fresno the other day.
me local lar of the San Francisco Post arises
TO remark that in 1913 hen eggs fell at Bakersvie
that were much larger than hailstones.
MIR. WILKIE COLLINS, who is suffering
from an attack of gout has finished his latest
novel, and IL will be published next month It is
chiefly remarkable for a strong study OF viyi-
sectionist of the most cold -blooded type.
IN New Orleans, according to the Pioaytne,
club windows are called dude frames" The
Cleveland Leader refers to the dude as third
class malo matter" Probably because the dude
is posted ut the window. Such is frame
Gov. SHELDON, of New Mexico, lives in a
veritable palace. It is only one story high and ia
built of mud but 1t is $50 feet long, nearly three
centuries old, has sheltered Spanish governors
without number, and always held the name of
palace"
DAUGHTER of Mrs. Victoria Woodruff has
made her debut on the stage ofthe Savoy theater,
IN London, in matinee performance She played
| the Princess in Gilberts Palace Of Truth" and
naturally failed to do much in SO dihlcult a part,
though she is described as promising.
EXTRACT from q French dictionary for
the use of newspaper readers: Bandh-(see also
Brigand. Riff Raf, scoundrel, Assassin Thief.
Leper, Highwayman, Horse Thief Ruifiau, Traitor.
Spy, Perjurer, scalawag, Pickpocket, vuture.
\ Wild Beast, Ghoul, Vampire &c)-a man who ia
THE word that" asserts grammarian. ID
the only one in the language that can be used
five times successfully within absolute correct
ness OF grammatical construction This discovery
must have been made before the telephone was
| invented and the word ghello" used In connoo.
ton therewith.-Co Commercial Advertiser.
PRINCE LEOPOLD, of Hohenzollern, brother
OF the duchess of Connaught has been appren-
ticed to learn the trade of locksmith. in accord.
ance with the custom OF the royal family OF Prus-
sa. The Boston Postsensibly suggests that In case
royalty should be overthrown in Germany he
would find the knowledge very handy, as he could
then go to burgling.
THE beautiful and accomplished Miss Fly
high was so unfortunate ut the ball last evening
as to be bitten on her plump, snowy shoulder by
a vicious mosquito. The young lady Immediately
tainted, but was resuscitated, and Is now doing
| wen. The mosquito was captured by four of the
young gentlemen, taken outside and decapitated
with a meat ax.-New Jersey Society NetOs
II is said that one purely Indian feature Of
the international exhibition to be held at Call
cutta will be collection of oitenal iewelry such
as has never before been seen. The splendid coll
lection that was recently on view at Jeypore will
be exhibited and arrangements are being made
with the different mobiles and princes throughout
India to obtain the loan of their jewels.
| N''H ''NAh" PopNAoi dHpdiShbly lubplrcu DY
determination to be original at all hazards did
not find Edwin Booths acting so admirable os the
German press did. The Viennese public, how.
ever was so enthusiastic that the managers of the
theater has secured q renewal of his engagement.
All accounts agree that our great tragedians Ger
man tour has been an extraordinary triumph.
HEARD on q Hackensack train: First young
dude Do you mean to say you never trembled
in your boots" Second young dude--"No sir; 1
| IA IN "A
because I've always worn shoes" Here the con-
versation was interrupted by the conductor, and
before the dudes could collect their scattered
thoughts the train had reached its destination
Friends will please send cabbages.-C msrcial
, Advertiser.
THE following incident in Heidelberg is re-
ported by correspondent ofthe Boston Transcript.
Persons-A German and an American student,
American walking with dog; dog kicked by Ger
man American slaps Germans face; result a
challenge; American chooses pistols; day aud
place appointed; on the way to dueling ground
American draws pistol carelessly and knocks of
insulator from telegraph pole; five minutes later
another, and again, another; not word said on
arrival at trysting place. hasty conference and
German humbly apologies.
IT is. generally thought that in the south.
ern states every second man carries pistol and
knows how to use II. But last night at Charlotte
, | N. C., when mad d og ran into prayer meeting
only one Of the congr egauon was "heeled with
n revolver, and he, apparently, could not manage
to hit the dog. So the people had TO set to work
with sticks and spittoons, and the brute was
, beaten and pelted to DEATH There is sort OF
local color in the free supply of spittoons but the
shortening in firearms is saddening. WHY, UP
here at the north we could do about as we'll as
one pistol to gation.-Boston Herald.
ELIZABETH CADY STANTON, now in Eng.
land, was asked how she liked the playing o.
Irving aud Miss Terry. IT was so stupid could
! hardly keep my eyes open." was her prompt re.
ply Irving mouths the English language sc
4 that could not understand word he said, and
what did understand was not worth hearing
5 and he moves about In such a stiff way that one
. might imagine him Just recovering from an attack
4 Of rheumatism. The only redeeming points to me
/ were the beautiful scenery aud the love-making
a which was cooler, more distant, and more piquan
. than usual" Mrs. stanton's impressions are those
of most Americans who have seen the famous
, English actor and actress.
A GREEN looking "upabovian," travelini
. . with wagon took in a number of Lebanon, N
= ", boys very neatly recently He would allow
= rope TO be tied around each wrist and holding al
apple in each hand bet that while Two bystander
: pulled the ropo in opposite directions he coulC
bite first one apple and then the other. He wor
every bet with apparent ease much to the surprise
o OF those who did not understand q very simple
VAna 10.