Connecticut western news., 1883-11-14
WIT AND WISDOM.
FOLLOW up advantages.

FOLLGW up advantages.
 CHEERFuLNEss is spark from heaven.
 EACH one sees what he carries in his heart.
 A MANS best friends are his ten fingers.
 THINKING is the talking of the soul with itself.
 FAILURE should be the stepping-stone to success.
 BY the errors of others, the wise man corrects his own.
 HE is wise who never acts without reason, and never against it.
 ST LOUIS girls complain that General Sherman's lips have become calloused.
 COLLEGE students in Siam are allowed two wives. This is the Siamese method of hazing.
 A KENTUCKY editor recently shot two men who jumped on him. Now is the time to subscribe.
 BUToHER-"I can't accept that trade dollar, madam; it's not legal tender. " Customer-"Oh, you needn't put on any airs about that trade dollar It is as near legal tender as your beef is. ,"
 "Do BIRDS think ?" asks writer in opening current article. If they do, we would like to know what canary bird thinks of the fat woman who stands up in a oh air and "talks baby" through the brass wires of its cage. FRENCH aALLANTRY: A gentleman weary of life filings himself out of fifth story window. A beautiful lady hap pens to be taking the air on the balcony of the first floor. Charming !" he ex- claims rapidly. And then passes on.
 THE Detroit Free Press says-H you want your communications to 8 news paper to appear next day, you should sign yourself "Veritas," Vigilance" "vox Populi' or Taxpayer. Any one 1 of these signatures hits an editor plumb centre. ...
 "YEs," said the hat manufactu Ter, "I take good deal of interest in an election, but wish things could be ar- ranged so that both parties would lose. In that event the demand for hats would be doubled. However, @ half loaf is better than no bread.
 THE Rev. J. w. Bain, of Philadelphia, preaching in Pittsburgh, enumerated the things not to be found in heaven. "There is no darkness there, no clouds, 1 ,,n ncsn no fnnoralc preachers-" At this point, seeing smile ripping over the congregation, he explained: sI mean there's no preaching there."
 A MAN lately committed suicide in Parisian restaurant after making hearty luncheon. On slip of paper found on the table before him he had written in pencil: "Oysters are excellent for the stomach, and old wine promotes longev- ity; but politics disgust man with life, and that is the reason why I am about to kill myself" A LONG life: A. Cat butchers stall,: "Good morning, my neighbor. What fine sausages you have hanging there. You ought to present me with one of them, for this is my birthday" Butcher (taking A. s handD: "Ah, your birthday. is it2 We'll, wish you much good luck, and many returns of the day. May you live till give you that sausage"
 DUM1EY was making an evening call, and the nice little boy of the family had been allowed to remain up 8 little later than usual. "Ma," he said, during a Hull in the conversation, ''can whisky talk ?" Certainly not" said ma, "What put that absurd notion into your head2' "Well," he replied, "1 heard you say to pa that whisky was telling on MT Dumley, and I wanted to know what it said."
 'IF you will let me take your stick of candy I'll show you how can swallow it and make it come out of my ear. " The candy was delivered. The young magician deliberately ate it. Then tor the space of two minutes he threw him. self into violent contortions. The candy failing to appear, he said to the expect ant spectator, with on air of great dis appointment. "I believe I've forgotten the rest of it."-Peck's San.
 YOUNG widow Undressing servant girD: elena, what did you do with the photograph this gentleman left here for me more than year ago? You surely never gave it to me, nor did you tell me 8 word about it." Lena (after thinking & long time): "Oh, yes, I remember now. Why, thought it was the jack of diamonds that had been lost for so long, and put it in the card drawer" !" Apparent discontinue of elderly gentle man.
 'OH, yes," said the eldest Miss Gull ture at table d'hote the other evening. 'I breakfasted yesterday with Mrs. Brainweight and we enjoyed delicious repast-excellent coffee, superior bread and piscatorial globes done admirably" "What ?" asked her friend. "Piscatorial globes" repeated the Boston virgin. ''And what under the sun gre they? "I believe, said Miss Culture, drawing herself up shffly. 'I believe uncultured people call them fish balls"