Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-11-08
HE UNDERSTOOD IT.
How a Squatter Enjoyed the Opera of
Ioiauthe--Knew He Wasn't
Drunk.
[Arkansaw Traveler.1

accepted an invitation to attend the opera
The old man had no idea of what an opera
was like didn't know whether it was place
of worship or an exhibition of improved fire.
arms, but he agreed with that promptness of
decision characteristic of a man who is never
daunted.
The opera was Iolanthe, and when the
fairies began to march around, in their
shrill but not unmusical evolutions, the old
squatter turned to his friend and said:
mighty peart lookin' gals. Clothes amt
hardly ftten for winter, but they'll do
mighty well for summer wear. Air they
nachul, like the gals you see wallzin' aroun ;
OF air they some sort of contrapshun rugged
up by the Yankees. have hearn that the
Yankees ken make ia kim machine, an
reckon if they ken do that, they ken make
suthin' ter squeal.'
'They are natural women" the merchant
replied.
He sat for some time watching the per-
Torrance. Occasionally he would shake his
head in doubt and then with an affirmative
nod, he would approve Of some Turn affairs
had taken.
Them fellers muster come from the over
flowed destricks," he said pointing to the
lords In knee-breeches. either that OF cloth
muster been scarce. Look at that Slim Jim
OF Teller holdin' up the coat tail OF the old
bucl1n
''That's the lord chancellor" whispered the
merchant
''Wall, cloth amt scarce with him. He's
got some to SPAR. Eff he wuster come out in
my neighborhood some feller'd step on
them coat tails an ak hirn his business. It'd
be fun for my son-in-law to put his number
ten on the tail eend Of that garmint an say,
'whar yer travelin', podnerp Eff the Simnon
boys wuster see him they'd say he was the
devil. Look at 'em. They sing at each
other. It's the whininest set ever seed.
Oh, it's show, is its Why don't
they fetch out the hossesa The shows
amt what thew was when I
was youngster. Them fiddlers down thar
is poke easy set They air what we'd call
easy scratches. Mind me Of the chillun
rakin' around whar the 'taters was dug airter
the stray ones Now they've commenced to
dig a little. That teller with the big fiddle's
got the grubbin' hoe Zig, he's found fresh
hill an is t'arin it all ter pieces. Now the
other fellers air scratchin' all around him.
Now there over inter the goober pea patch
an air rakin up the dirt. The big teller
KANT git his grubbin hoe over the fence,n
throughout the house, he added: "Thar's
the dinner horn"
The curtain came down and the old fellow
sat for moment in silence.
''Air they comm back airtor dinnerg"
EYES," the merchant replied.
"Then we'll wait an see the crap gathered.
I al'ers like to see the thing well done," and
again he devoted himself to deep reflection.
The curtain went up again.
''Thar comes the fellers with short britches
an the gals with wings. That big Teller ken
sing putty well, an amt Altered to open his
tries to squeal like 'oman is
in when hear it, an eff wus ter git up thar
ter sing I'd make that Teller standin' down
thar drop that stick. 1 couldn't go along an
sing eff a man stood up an shuck stick at
me. 1t mout be in fun, but I would't like it.
When a man shakes a stick at me he's got
ter stop right thar an explain. All, Lawdl
l wish Nip Tucker was here. He'd git up
on that fatfom amongst them picturs
an sing them fellers outen countenance
Now, Nip's a singer. 1 tell yer what
he dun. Yer know whar the old Aimes
place is. Wall, luther night I was sittin
OlA 1CiiCS 4NIP Nebo OfSl UilC
Aimes place singin', an could hear him.
Three miles away, mind yer. Now what sort
of a show would these fellers have with q
man like that? Thar's the teller with the
grubbin' hoe Look at that little feller with
hatchet hackin' on the stump. They air
airter rabbit POUNDS how the dogs scratch"
and the imaginative old fellow could scarcely
keep his seat. Associating every sound with
an action, and living an almost fgurative
life, the squatter, when his emotions are
stirred, can not remain quiet. "Thar's the
dogs smellin' in the hole. BIN, the big fell
lers gone to work with the grubbin' hoe.
Now they all jine in an air maxim the dirt
fly. They are huddlin' together, and if they
don't mind the rabbit'l run out. zounds
thar he goes, bookerty, bookerty. Head
him, head him! Through the fence. Whoopr'
''Look here, sir" said man ia authority,
tapping the old man on the shoulder. eff
you don't behave yourself I'll put you cut Of
here. You ought to have better sense than
to come here drunk"
81 amt drunk"
Eyes you are"
''You're liar, an I'll fight yer. rabbit er
no rabbit"
"Hold on" said the merchant. "Don'tfght
here"
"Well, he KANT say that I'm drunk, when
I've been wantin' a drink of whisky ever
since two hours by SUM-"
"Come on, the show is over.