The Sunday herald. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1866-1887, 1883-02-18

The very walters themselves-some of
them-aTe types of effectively dramatic a nature
that 1t is surprising some ynx-eyed Bouccau has not
nched them In the Thespian temple of fame long ago.
Even the orthodox down at theheel chuckie- headed
soup-sper OF the Mllesan type has never been prop
erly portrayed-the individual who armed with a
dirty napkin and impenerabe stupidity, takes your
order aud then disappears from human sight and
knowledge for untold cycles OF time. We observed
pathetic scene In south hotel dinng-room
long since. While We We're carefully stretching
selves over an early breakfast an old gentleman sat
at the table patiently awaiting the arrival Of his
meal. 1t was obvious that he had come down early
for the purpose of getting waited with expedition
and his countenauce displayed all the eeting shades
of long delayed hope that maketh the stomach sick
He was there at luncheon, and at dinner lie st 81
wistfuy eying the swinging kick door - through
which he evidently believed relief would yet appear.
just finished black coffee the missing
walter who had evidently been asleep in the pantry
or off on picnic, suddenly bore down the patient
guest with soft-boled egg and plate Of toast The
old man sprang TO his feet, and fervdy shook the
prised coffee splasher by the hand.
- 1 knew you would return again 49, he said, with
an emotion choked voice; ''they started TumOr "A
couple OF hours ago that you had eoped win the cook
dropped dead with the heart disease something,
Dut | said, No gentlemen; give him time-giye
him chance; 1t will all come out right in the end;
knew You would turn up again, II only to bring an
oil cruet with fly In it -
There wasn't dry eye in the room as the famished
old descendant OF JOB sat down and swallowed his egg
whole.
Another variety of waiter is the young man OF al
legged good family, who has been cleaned ont al keno
and who Is forced TO work his passage, speak,
until the maternal heart ut home the paterD
pocket 10 relent In the shape OF remittance. Last
the spendhrift son OF Portland banker, who
had nnayalngly Geographically btseged The plteT-
nal fountain -head for 'mOre mud - found himself
Monterey without " silver ''--whateyrr that
iS-in his pockets. one morning, entering The
breakfast-rOom, he beheid his iust-arriyed gov
ernor and the rest Of the family seated the table
After moments rejection the prodigal decided
upon strategic movement TO Teplenish his pOkeT-eN
hausted funds. Borrowing walters jacket aud
apron, be threw sOiled napkin over his elbow with
true professional grace, and stepping behind his
parents chair demurely asked for his order. The
banker stared at the apparitiOn with astOnshmrnt.
''What on earth does this mean, sirf'' he sternlY
inquired, while the rest OF this family got ready 10
faint
''rhe fact Is, pa, said the dummy waiter, hum
bly,, - you refused TO send any coin, and-and
80 was forced TO earn honest living somehow. -
But the old gentleman had been there before. A.
ter scrutini2ing the hopeful "a moment through his
spectacles, lie said.
"l'm mighty glad to hear IT, Ned my boy. This
looks something like real reform At last, Lemme See
If you can bring us six oNtai soups fora And
for fish
But Ned was gone. The 'Guyner'' Is probably
Warrington that soup yet
But, after ALL the fifteenth amendment the saddle
tinted man aud brother makes the only perfect waiter
vet discovered. Even the rather depressiugy digni-
ned individual know as the Hampton Student walter
eyinCes the eternal fitness Of thiugs by the classical
manner IN which lie removes the crumbs, ana his
ability 20 parse the butter IN six language. Nal Nc
Ginley says that once, while lunchug the Palace
lie WAS waited upon by one Of these erudte plate
pOlihheTs. wishing 10 say something particularly
confidential 10 fair Vi,-a-yis, the Major began pat
terlng away Ia French ui tue homemade Mills
Seminary sort Presently the waiter, Win tue best
Partisan accent, sald3
- Excuse me, blr; but would YOU not prefer 10 adj
dress the lady IN Turkish f''
".Turkisht' replied the Major " don't know
Turkish, WhyY''
understand As II Is, viii retire. from Dsr,ick
DOdd't 'hummff S1hHNtftHga.''