The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-02-07

gerden | is ter keep me from calm him
a liar"
Something new in scarf-pins Is
tiny gold pig with diamond eyes. Most
people are free to say it is most
appropriate ornament for many Of the
society young men OF the day,
"Revolutionists, said Dumas, "are
good deal like the street-sprnklers. --
They can make it muddy in sunshine,
but they cant make sunshine when il is
muddy"
The Philadelphia Record wants "all
the grammars thrown out of public
schools This wouldn't be such bat
idea, Some Pennsylvania editor might
come along and pick one up.
Most men will chin and dodge anG
come back at you on any argument, but
no man will allow another to split hairs
on the Next in barber shop when
til his turn
We'll, William, what's become Of
Robert" What, 'avon't you card,
card sir?' no; not defunct, hope"
That's just exactly what he as done,
sir, and walked of with heverything he
could lay his 'ands on.
A young man finds himself in per-
picking situation when he is unable to
distinguish between l0-cent cigar pur-
chased for his own enjoyment and the
two-for-5's intended for his prospective
father-in-law.
A man who has travelled all over the
State Of Wisconsin the past year has re-
vived the old story that eight out Of ten
young men are so bow-legged that they
have TO put board across their knees
to hold a girl on their lap.
A Washington letter in a religious
weekly says that Gen. Sherman goes
very night to the theater, and also that
swears some. From what we know
( Washington theaters we don t blame
him for his profanity .
The Louisville CoW3er-J0urnal is re-
sponsible for the assertion that the lady
trapezists are green with jealousy over
a newspaper paragraph that tells of a
bride who walked in on her fathers
arm.
New York NewS: "One of the quizz-
cal weeklies notes that Christine Nilsson
wears a sad and troubled expression,
with two rows Of pearl buttons down the
center and shirred around the bottom
edge"
Z. /, Barnum presented letter car
rier with his book on "How to Get Rich"
as a Christmas present The carrier
knew how before. II was to earn $500
per year and save half his salary for 200
years.
Husband:-"Was the Ladies Club
lively tonight" Wife;-"No; awfully
dull. Every member was present, and
one can't speak of people before their
faces. So--we had nothing TO talk
| about
They have a nice old lady in South
Boston of the genuine Partingtonian va
riety. She recently alluded to the i'll
ness of friend with you see he had
digestion of the lungs, and then it set
tied into ammonia.
A very colored man who entered COM
plant against another for assaulting and
battering him upon the head, was told
by the justice; Il don see any marks, v
Does We s'pose he hit me wild piece OF
chalk was the indignant rejoinder. -
The case proceeded.
An article entitled; How to Wash
the Baby is going the rounds of the
press. Persons who read it will be sur
prised to learn that the infant is washed
with water, but is not run through q
wringing machine and hung ont on the
line to dry.-Norristo1cn Herald.
A farm item remarks that in fly time
COWS should be kept in stalls. This is
for the convenience OF the fly, increas-
ng his opportunity Of concentration,
and oconomizing much valuable time
that would be otherwise consumed in
chasing frisky hcifer through q ten
acre lot.
In a crowded railway car First Trav.
eler-I say, do open that window, orIn
sutfocate. Second Traveller Don't you
open that window, or it'll give me an
attack of pneumonia, First Traveller
That makes no difference. Ii you have
pneumonia, you won't have il for a
week, whereas, il am sutIocated, I'll
be suffocated now. Open that win
dow
Sarah p, Thorp Springs Where
should l wear an engagement ring?''
Wear it on the second finger Of the right
hand, if everything is open and above
board; but if YOU do not want the old
people to know of the engagement We
would advise you to wear il on the right
hand corner of an old striped stocking
in the bottom OF a bureau drawer,
In some Of the mining towns of Neva.
da a common house cat sells for $40 in
gold, and the supply is always short, A
Nevada man who would bootjack cat
would not be allowed TO live twenty-four
hours, But it doesn't do any good TO
post notice to this effect in back.
yard, rs cats can't read