davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
Il TOlIBSTONER REFUSES GRANULAR.

A flash young man from an Eastern
college arrived at Tombstone, A. T.,
and registered his name at the principal
hotel. A socially-inclined person in a
blue shirt and widerimmed hat, who
CHANGED to be in the Office, good-nat-
uredly answered every question, and
volunteered vast amount of interest
ing information about Arizona in gen
eral and Tombstone in particular.
do you see them hilIs?" asked tho
Tombstoner, pointing through one of
the Office windows. well, them hills
is chock full of pay dirt"
The young man from the East looked
shocked.
"My dear sir" he said, proudly but
kindly, "you should say those hills are,
not them hills is p"
The Tombstoner was silent for a mo-
ment. He looked the young man from
the East critically over, as if he was es-
timating the size Of the coffin he would
wear. Then, drawing out an ivory
stocked seven-shooter of elaborate style
and finish, he said, in a soft, mild, mu-
steal tone of voice, that sounded like
wildwood brook coursing over its peb-
bly, bed: MY gentle, unsalted tender
foot from the land of the rising sun,
this here's a pint we disagrees on, and
we might as well have it settled right
now. l haven't looked in q grammar
lately, but say them hills is is COR
rect, and Pm going to stand by that
opinion while I've got shot left. I'll
give you jest three minutes to think
calmly over the subject, for you proba
bly, spoke in haste the first time, and
then I'll hear your decision. "
The young man from the East looked
down the acknowledgement barrel of
the revolver into the placid depths of
the eye of the Tombstoner, and began
to feel that many points in grammar are
uncertain and liable to grow more so.
Then he thought Of the Coroner's in
quest and of the verdict, "Came to his
death by standing in front of Colorado
TOMS seven-shooter, and of the long
pine box going East by express with
$50 charges on it, and before half the
three minutes was up he was ready to
acknowledge his error. "Since he had
thought it over calmly" he said, che
believed that them hills is is right.
He had spoken on the spur Of the mo-
ment, he added, "and begged a thou
sand pardons for his presumptuous eff
fort to substitute bad grammar for
good"
81 know'd you'd say you was wrong
after you'd thought moment. [ adj
mire man who gives right in without
arguing when he knows he's wrong.
Come along and irrigate." And they
irrigated.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
THE LANGUAGE OF Fl0wrns

The intelligence to be communicated
is expressed by wearing the appropriate
vegetable in your button-hole.l
Daisy-Does your mother know you're
out?
Dandelion-Do you know if your
father is in?
Parsnip-Tie up the bulldog.
Turnip-I don't object to freckles.
Sage-You are too too.
Chicory-Iam going out to see man.
Clove-I have seen him.
Cucumber-Ice-cream.
China Aster-Front gate.
Mint-You're lamb.
Beet-top-Reserve the next log for me.
Hollyhock-Thato other fellow is of no
commercial value.
Night-Blooming Cereus-Wiu you
take g walk with ice-cream
Day-Plooming ditto-Will you take a
walk without ice-cream?
Gum-Drop-Leaved Mignonette-Come,
under the brim of my hat.
Cabbage-Your hairpins are coming
out.
Calceolaria Anaconda think YOU
squint.
Lemon-Are you soda-water girl, or
is your affection disinterested?
Rhododendron Observation-Disclosures
catch my eye!
Lotus Flower-Are you going to the
ball this evening?
Orange ditto-S'mother evening?
Best Family Self Raising ditto-You
take the cake.
Burdock-The old woman appears to
be getting on to this.
Ranunculus Tuberculosis -Ta-ta.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
THE LAST MoMENrs OF, COL. BOWIE.

LIE LASI MOMENTS OF COL. BOWIE.
A sensational article in the Houston
Daily Post, written by W. P. Zuber, of
Grimes county, processes to give the
first full account of the massacre of the
Texan garrison in the celebrated Church
OF the Alamo, at San Antonio, March 6,
1856. Zuber says he got the account
from Mexican ffer known in Texas as
Polln, who was with the Mexican army
at the time of the capture of the Alamo.
Polin says that after the Mexicans had
taken the fort, scaled the walls, and put
the garrison to the bayonet or sword,
Santa Anna. accompanied bymembers of
his staff, entered the fort and viewed the
Texans slain. Polin, being fifer and a
privileged character, entered with Santa
Anna, and Immediately behind the Mex
lean dictator. Santa Anna ordered the
citizens Of San Antonio to pick up the
corpse of Col. Travis, the. Texan COM
mander, which he ran his sword through.
After Santa Anna had retired from the
fortress, two Mexican officers, with a
number of soldiers, entered and pro-
ceeded to pile up the bodies of the dead
Texans, IN order to bury them. In the
search for corpses they discovered the
celebrated Texan patriot, Col. Bowie, in
a secluded department of the fortress.
lying sick upon stretchers. One of the
officers looked at the sick officer and
asked the other if he knew him. The
latter said he thought he did, and that
1t was the infamous Bowie. The Off
GERS then berated Bowie for fighting
against the Mexican Government, after
having married q respectable Mexican
lady. He denounced them for fighting
under tyrant like Santa Anna. They
ordered him to shut his mouth. Bowie
said, 'Never, for your sort" "Then,"
said the senior officer, "we will relieve
you of your tongue" They then had
soldiers take knives and split open his
mouth, cut out his tongue, and throw
his body, still writhing, upon a pile of
corpses. The latter was saturated with
camphene, and while Col. Bowie's body.
still bleeding, but spaechless, lay alive
upon the funeral heap, match was
stuck into the combustible fluid, and a
tall pillar of fame Immediately shot up,
and one Of the Mexican officers, pale
and trembling, said to his companions,
''That fire takes Bowie's soul up to
God"
This is the first account of the last
moments of Col. Bowie ever published.
San Francisco CAL.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
Remember This.

If you are sick Hop Bitters will surely aid
Nature in making you well when all else fails
Ifyou are costive or dyspeptic, or are suffer
ing from any other of the numerous diseases of
the stomach or bowels, it is your own fault if
you remain III, for Hop Bitters are a sovereign
remedy in all such complaints.
If you are wasting away with any form of
Kidney disease, stop tempting Death this mo-
ment, and turn for a cure to Hop Bitter.
If you are sick with that terrible sickness
Nervousness, you will find 'Balm in Gilead''
in the use of Hop Bitters.
If you are frequenter, or resident of a
miasmatic district, barricade your system
against the scourge of all countries malarial,
epidemic, bilious, and intermittent fevers-by
the use of Hop Bitters.
If you have rough, pimply or sallow skin, bad
breath, pains and aches and feel miserable gem
orally, Hop Bitters will give you fair skin, rich
blood, and sweetest breath, health and comfort.
In short they cure all Diseases of the stomach,
Bowels, Blood, Liver, Nerves, Kidneys, Bright's
Disease. $500 VIII be paid for a case they will
not cure or help.
That poor, bedridden, invalid wife, sister.
mother or daughter, can be made the picture of
health, by few bottles of Hop Bitters, costing
but tiae. VIII you let them suffer?
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
HIR. IND MRS. iSPOOPEE-
DYKE.
Il DeSultOry Dialogue Concerning La,cs
and the Legislature.

II DeSultory Dialogue Concerning Lu,cs
and the Legislature.
"And so, my DEAR" observed Mrs.
Spoopendyke, as she and her husband
reached their room, and she stepped
before the glass to arrange her crimps,
"and so, my dear, that was the Legis-
lature, was it? Whoever expected that
should live to see a live Legislature ?"
You didn't think it was going to be
q dead one, did you?" growled Mr..
Spoopendyke, who had just discovered
a rip in the sleeve of his overcoat; "you
don't think I brought you up here at an
enormous sacrifice of comfort and cash
to show you stuffed Legislature, do
you?"
"N-n-n-o," faltered Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke; II didn't think it was exactly
that. Only wanted to know what it
was about, that's all"
well, it was about time you got out,
If that's ALL" retorted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, ripping away at the hole in his
sleeve to see if the stitches were strong
either side of the rent. "It was about
making laws, that's what it was about?"
But that's just the part don't I'M
derstand," insisted Mrs. Spoopendyke.
ga law is something about being ar
rested, but I can't get it through my
head how they make them"
"You have got the law part right, :"
ruminated Mr.. Spoopendyke, "and I'm
not sure but what you've hit it pretty
close on the density of your head. I'll
tell you, my DEAR" he continued
gravely; "you saw that place with the
rail around it and the man behind it
well, that is the law machine. They
throw the Legislature in at one end and
the law comes out of the other. They
used to buy secondhand laws and pour
them into new bottles, but they finally
caught the combination, and now they
make their own stock. But you want
to watch it closely. None genuine
without signature on the label; stand in
cool place; these laws are only good
for special crimes; for any other crime,
try our extra-celebrated extra-session
laws, for sale by all druggists. See
into it now? Begin to get dim, vision
airy notion that a Legislature is not an
aquarium? Think you would know
Legislature from crick in your back,
if you saw them coming down thestreet
arm-in-arm?"
"That's different from what I sup
posed" murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke.
II thought a Legislature was where they
all got together and made up their
minds whether the police did right or
not"
did, did ye?" grinned Spoopendyke
between his teeth.
Anyway, I'm glad I came" sighed
Mrs. Spoopendyke, "because I saw the
Governor" and she patted down the
front Of her dress and twisted herself
into a bow-knot, to see if her panier
hung right for dinner. Brooklyn
Eagle
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
Il wEL1-ro-Do HUNGAR1zy HOUSE.

Il WELL-TO-DO HUNGARIAN HOUSE.
The house of wel1-to-do man in
Hungarian village is very simple af-
fair. It is always one story in height,
with steep roof of tiles. The space
under the roof, which equals that of the
rooms below, is utilized for storing sup
plies, and things known as lumber"
which are not good enough to use and
too good to throw away. The front
wall is always flush with the sidewalk,
and there are no doors in the front, the
entrance to the premises being by
gate at the side, and door in the rear.
In the front, ranging along the street
are three large rooms, twenty-five feet
square, connected by doors. one of
which is the parlor, the next the family
bedroom and the third the dining
room. From the dining room, running
back perhaps 200 feet to the rear of the
grounds, is a long, one-story structure,
the children's sleeping rooms being
first, then the kitchens, then the fuel
room, then the stables and other out
houses.
The house and stables occupy the
end and one side of an oblong square of
say 60x2O0 feet, the space not covered
by buildings being the garden. The
buildings make a perfect wall for two
sides. AS the house adjoining walls in
the other side, and very high and thick
walls protect the front and rear, the
premises are entirely safe from imperti-
nent curiosity, and are as we'll guarded
as nunnery.
1t would be possible for dwellings to
be constructed in more-inconvenient
and uncomfortable style, but to do it
would require very skillful architect,
who would have to give his whole mind
to it. To go from your parlor to your
dining-room you pass through your
bedroom, and to go from your kitchen
to your dining-room you go out of
doors. There is never a carpet upon
any of the floors, a long strip of mat
ting passing through the three front
rooms and rug under the center table
in the parlor comprising all there is Of
that kind of furnishing. The furniture
is simple and inexpensive, though as a
rule comfortable. and tasteful. The
beds are the internal German contriv-
ances, feather bed under you and an
other feather bed over you, the one
over being lighter than the one under,
and bedstead always too short. Dur
ing the night the upper feather affair,
which is your sole covering, always
slips off you, which, with the thermom-
eter at zero, makes sleeping with any
comfort impossible. IN Erile.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01

teacher, and every boy in the line lost
his head, and one after another an
swered "mouses, including Vest, Har-
Ian and Brown, all very close to the bot
tom.
Mr.. Sayre's rage was complete. Be
ginning at the head of the class he took
every boy, one after another, by the ears
and bumped his head against the wall,
and judicial, Senatorial and Gubernato-
rial heads echoed asprofound and revre-
berating thud as any of the others
Louisville Commercial
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
LONGFELLOJV,S FIRST POEM.

When our great poet was 9 years old,
his master wanted him to write COM
position.
Little Henry, like all children, shrank
from the undertaking. His master said:
"You can write words, can you not?"
eyes" was the reply.
"Then you can put words together ?"
eyes, sir"
"Then," said his master, "you may
take your slate and go out behind the
school house, and there you find some
thing to write about, and then you can
tell what it is, what it is for, and what
is to be done with it, and that will be a
composition"
Henry took his slate and went out.
He went behind Mr.. Finney's barn,
which Glanced to be near, and, seeing q
fine turnip growing up, he thought he
know what that was, what it was for,
and what was to be done with it.
A half hour had been allowed to Hen
ry for his first undertaking in writing
compositions. In half hour he carried
in his work all accomplished, and the
master is said to have been affected al
most to tears when he saw what little
Henry had done in that short time:
MIR. FINNEY's TURNIP.
Mr.. Finney had turnip,
And it grew, and it grew;
And it grew behind the barn,
And the turnip did no harm.
And it grew, and it grew,
Till it could grow no taller;
Then Mr.. Finney took it up
And put it in the cellar.
There it lay, there 1t lay,
Till it began to rot,
When his daughter Susie washed it,
And she put it in the pot.
Then she boiled it and boiled II,
AS long as she able;
Then his daughter Lizzie took it,
And she put it on the table.
Mr. Finney and his wife,
Both sat down to sup;
And they ate, and they ate
Until they ate the turnip up.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
DOLLY.

Rag, wood and india-rubber, china,
composition and wax-we can imagine
the immense doll population gathering
about us, impatient for attention, and
all leaning up against each other, for it
is popularity OF doll physique that, as
regards standing up independently in
the world, doll is unmatched for help
lessness by anything under the sun
excent a soda-water bottle. The weak
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
Senator Pmgh dominates 4. S. Henri t.
New York Times.

WASHINGTON, May Ex-senator Pugh, of
Alabama, talked with some interest about
political affairs, and having referred to a
report of the speech of Abram S. Hewitt
delivered at the opening of the Brooklyn
Bridge, said that he regarded Mr.. Hewitt
as man who might easily be brought to
the front as a candidate for President.
He thinks that Mr.. Hewitt's conservative
views, consistently adhered to through
years in Congress, have won for him many
admirers, who prefer practical man, to
the mere accidentally prominent men who
have merely local record to give them a
claim upon the Democratic party. Mr..
Pugh does not regard Gov. Cleveland as a
man who may be considered as the coming
candidate
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01

point of the primitive rag baby was the
human face divine in colored chintz,
until at last it has been painted on white
calico. The wooden genera of the fam
lily had an Objectionable stare, and were
too liable to be scalped. The china
cousins suffered from fragile noses (and
heads) and an unnatural shining skin.
India-rubber got over the danger OF
breakage, but the immortals have, like
old Tithonus, the gift of life with the
gift of youth forgotten, and, the period
of doll existence being over, their
washed-out Kaffir complexion is fright
full to see. Composition with thin skin
of wax is most popular in nursery So
ciety, but the elite of dolls will ever be
the waxen fair ones endowed with human
hair. All dolls hair has at least one
human property-that of falling off.
But, fortunately, human badness is a
gradual sorrow; not, like poor dolly's,
one shock of CONSERVATION. This is q
most trying misfortune to doll-loving
child. A creature with only one eye,
one leg and one arm may still be cher
ished, but scalped doll is a monstros-
ity. Yet even greater defects than this
can be cured; indeed, medical science
pales beside the wonders done in Lon
don "Dolrs Hospital" "What beau
tiful doll % We once remarked to COM
municative looking little stranger.
eyes," said the communicative little
one proudly; land this is her second
head Chambers Journal.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
WITH NO REASON FOE IT..

by the way" he added, edo you
know who wrote the first guide-book of
Washington" Warden" saidI. mo, :"
replied Mr.. Watson, ct was Tobias
Lear, the same who married two of
Mrs. Washington's nieces and finally
cut his own throat in the capital city.
There is copy Of his book in the Har-
ward Library, and one was bought many
years ago in Washington for So"
What did Lear cut his throat for?"
said I. "Ha! [ don't know, unless it
was for c1ibbing Jefferson's letters out
Of Washington's correspondence, which
he had charge of-to oblige Jefferson.
He had been three times married and
was III good circumstances, was reward
ed by Jefferson with a foreign position
and place in the War Department;
and yet he cut his throat one day with
out giving any notice. "-Washingto7o
letter.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
SHE DIDN'T GIVE.

Madam" he began, as he lifted his
hat at the front door, 81 am soliciting
for home charities We have hundreds
of poor, ragged and vicious children
like those at your gate, and our object
is"
"Sirl those are my children" she
interrupted, and the way that front door
slammed his toes Jared every hair on
his scalp-lock.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
THREE RED-HEADED BOYS.

In 1S43 or 1874 there were three very
wild and very red-headed boys living on
the same square in Frankfort, KY, and
going to school to the same master,
Prof. B. B. Sayre, one of the best edu-
Gators Of tue old regime, and man of
marked character and eccentricities.
These three red headed boys were George
G. Vest, John NJ. Harlan and B. Gratz
Brown. Brown WAS known by the sob
riquet Of Freddy" Brown. After school
was cut and the darkness Of night had
thrown q veil Of comparative protection
over the apple orchards of the neighbor-
hood, the three boys would gather on
the front porch Of the Vest mansion and
talk. They used to make wishes and
resolves, and no resolution stopped short
OF the ultimate President of the United
States. One Of them is now an Asso-
ciate Justice of the Supreme Court,
another United States Senator from Mis-
souri,, and the other has been Governor
of Missouri, United States Senator, and
IN 1872 received the complimentary vote
of the Democratic Electors for Vice
President.
The three have met in Louisville fire.
quently since boyhood, and these re-
unions were always memorable ones, at
least to the three. One of the stories
told with particular delight by Senator
Vest at the last meeting was of Prot.
Sayre's school. Sayre was man of
high temper, and when in bad humor
was the cause of terror to all his pupils.
One day when the class was called he
was SO plainly out of temper that the
lesson was frightened out of the head of
every pupil, as David Copperfeld "felt
whole pages slipping away"
"Spell mouse he called out to the
head of the class. "M-o-u-s-e," was
nimbly passed over. every wel-what
is the plural !" was the next question
fired at the boy with the precision OF a
bullet. "Mouses !" answered the
frightened lad. "Next," cried the
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
ODD NAMES OF WESTERN NEWS
P4PERS,

An affectation of odd and original
names prevails among the journals of
the far West. For instance, The Lew
iston Teller, the Salem Daily Talk, the
Reese River Repeille, the Pinal Drill,
the Las Vegas optic, the Cotton Semi
Tropic, the Calico Print, published in
the new mining town of Calico, and the
Tombstone Epitdph, of the town of
Tombstone, Arizona. Y. Snaalley,
in the Cev,tatry.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
4rthur a nd Blaine on the Road


The President is frequently seen in the
crowd at the Home. ae has the most ele.
giant turnout to be seen and the fastest
horses. He drives pair of dark red
thoroughbred horses that came all the
way from the ''blue grass" State of Ken
lucky. Gen. Arthur is skillful horseman
and is seldom passed on the road. Mr..
Blaine is very different. He knows almost
nothing about the art of holding the rib
bons behind a spirited animal. He rides
in family carrige drawn by two meek.
looking horses. He keeps his head out of
the carrige window, as if prepared to jump
on the slightest notice. He frequently
calls to his driver to "sloW un.n
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
is Told by the Hero.
Macon Telegraph.

The following is an extract from let
let written from Texas by young man
formerly of Macon 10 friend here: ''The
other night I went into a saloon where
there were eight cowboys who had just got
in from long drive. They crowded
around me and asked me to set 'em up.
Just out of politeness set 'em up. When
they got through they asked me to set 'em
up again, and refused. They crowded
around me, evidently taking me for a
sucker, and swore they'd eat me up. 1
stood my ground, and told them if they
would let the barkeeper hold their pistols
I'd try 'em few rounds. Then they took
out their weapons and gave them to the
barkeeper, and in ten minutes 1 had
whipped all eight of them. They saw 1
wasn't to be fooled with and we shook
hands. Every time meet cowboy now
he takes off his hat to me-"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01

PRESIDENT WHITE says, as to the CO.
education of the sexes at Cornell, that
in the classes men outrank women in
study, and that few will be far ahead,
but that women have better general
average
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
DON'TDIE IN rHEHOUsE

Trough on Rats Clears out rats, mice,
reaches, bed-bugs, flies, ants, moles, chipmonks,
gophers. 15c.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01

GS~Hoods, scarfs, ribbons and any fancy ar
tlcles can be made any color wanted with the
Diamond Dyes All the popular colors.
The arrest of Russian nIhilist1 IN Bavar-
ia, is reported.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01
CONNECTICUT RLUE 1Aws.

The famous blue laws Of Connecticut,
enacted by "the people Of the Domin-
ion of New Haven" were so-called be-
cause printed on blue paper. They
prohibited the ceremony of marriage
being performed by parson, on the
strange ground that magistrate might
perform it with less scandal to the
church. Adultery was punished by
death Wearing clothes trimmed with
gold, silver OF lace above one shilling a
yard involved tax on the persons es-
tate of SIS. mo one to cross a river
on the Sabbath but authorized clergy
men. No one shall travel, cook, make
beds, sweep houses, cut hair or shave
on the Sabbath. No one.shaIl kiss his
or her children on the Sabbath or fast
ing days. The Sabbath day shall be-
gin at sunset Saturday"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-06-01

*The surprising success of Mrs. Lydia E. Pink
hams Compound for the several disease s pecu.
liar to women forcibly illustrates the import
ance of her benefcent discovery and the fact
that she knows how to make the most of it.
DR.. HASKELL.