Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-03-20
LAW BRIEFS.

Judge.
Jury" sad an Arkansas judge,
"you can go out and find a verdict. II
YOU can't find one of your own, get the
one the last jury used"
1t was a cold day for that Judge
who threatened to fine a party $40 for
coughing in court, when the disturbing
element informed his honor that he would
be willing to pay twice that sum to have
it stopped.
Health journals insist upon rePosing
on the right side only, and claim that 1t
i, Injurious to lie on both sides, but we
don know where they will find a
healthier set of men than lawyers.
-"What is yolr defence. sir" stem
~ demanded his Honor. Il shall prove
an arabi," said the culprit, with a whine.
Then you will be in worse fix than
you are now" replied his Honor.
A New York divorce lawyers adj
vertisement reads "Hymeneal incom-
patbiltia.. as speciality. carefully adj
iusted. It's slavery to detain the hand
after the heart hath fed"
-Crabb Robinson just called to the
bar. told Charles Lamb exhultingly that
he was retained in a cause in the King 5
Bench. All" said Lamb, "the first
great cause, least understood.
He who courts and goes away may
live to court ano'her day ; but he who
weds and courts girls still, may get in
court against his will.
WHY don't men live q hundred
years :" inquiries and exchange. Well,
because they're barred by the statute OF
limitations, we reckon. Or else they
haven't time we don't know which.
How natural that inventors should
get scant justice in the law courts, since
necessity is the mother of invention, and
necessity knows no law, and good law
yers fight shy of case Of necessity.
At recent trial in France the FORE
man of the jury. placing his hand on his
heart, and with voice choked with
emotion gave the following verdict :
THE accused is guilty, but we have our
doubts as to his Identity"
"A county clerk in Texas enjoys the
distinction of having himself issued the
license for his own marriage. In the
State of New York under the new penal
code suicide is an indictable ofense.
"A young Iowa lawyer procured a
marriage license and took it to his sweet
heart. She had reconsidered matters
however and backed out. He returned
the license to the clerk indorsed NO
cause OF action"
OF the thousands Of indictments
drawn by the late Judge May, Of Boston,
during his SIX year, of service as district
attorney for Suffolk county, only one, it
is said, was ever squashed.
They are raising row with a
young man in New Jersey who was en-
gagged to marry thirteen different girls.
Ii he doesn't keep his promises the girls
must blame the law for it. He proba-
bly, meant to.
Mrs. Langtry now says she never
read, the newspapers. This is very az
onizing to the amusement editor who has
been doing his best; but i. leads to the
thought that she will make a good jury
man.
A Nebraska Justice Of peace fined
ME own son SIS for contempt Of court,
but the boy not being able to pay it, and
the father having only 6j cents about
him, the tine was RENTED, and the pa
ternal boot substituted.
Health journals say that to retain
sound constitution man must lie on the
right side Yes, but witch is the right
side Every lawyer in the country
thinks the side he is lying on is the right
one.
-"Gentlemen of the jury" was II
imprisoned psrcr,tion of lawyer in a
city court few days ago, God knows
my client is innocent, and what is more
to the purpose, know i, -
"A young clergyman in Iowa recent
ly married a couple in the following
brief manner: "Do you want one an
other :" Both replied yes. "Well,
have one another then"
standing before a clergyman who
was abo-t to marry him rustic was
asked, "Wilt thou have this woman"
etc. The man stared in surprise, and
replied, "Ay, surely Whoy, | kum-
med a puppus ~
.Painesville, Ohio, has a promising
lawyer who has locally immortalized
himself by fercely asking witness
Where if anywhere were you when you
were down in Doc. French's grocery store
at o'clock last Saturday evening;
A deaf and dumb girl of detroit
gains an advantage in breach of prom
ise suit, through her infrmity. The de-
PENDANT necessarily used her tablet in
making his. proposal of marriage, and
she had sufficient forethought to preserve
the writing.
"A Negro arraigned for murder was
defended in Milwaukee court last week
by Miss Kate Kane, a lawyeress of that
city who saved his neck By securing
verdict of manslaughter. The man he
killed is dead though.
Judge Here's of Nevada sends his
juries into cellar for consultat ion. ard
they must agree upon the verdict or
freeze TO death. He is determined to
hava the frnzen trnth D.. O.