Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1883-08-14
No Trouble in the Choir.

81 think you treated us very unkindly
in saying that we had fight in our choir r.
murmured the contralto, taking the chair
the religious editor placed for her and
Strengthened her hat. "You hurt the feel
ings of everybody, and I don't see any
good of it"
"But didn't you have fight ?" protested
the religious editor. sDidn't the tenor
say the soprano didn't know any more
about music than logarithm does about
the doctrine of infant baptism P''
II know that" conceded the contralto.
"And he was right She don't. But she
was cross-g grained old maid and the sooner
we get rid of her the better"
s'And didn't the basso take the sopranos
side and hit the tenor on the nOse?" con-
tinued the religious editor.
81 know he did," replied the contralto.
sand he was all in the wrong. That tenor
is perfectly lovely, and the soprano got
mad because he was to sing a ,,duette with
me. But don't see why you wanted to
pitch into him. Why didn't you say the
soprano had been flirting with the baritone
for six months, in spite of his being mar
ried man? What did you want to put it
all on the tenor fort"
II didn't know anything about that, "
retorted the religious editor. Somebody
told me that the tenor took you to the
church picnic, and that Ill the row grew
ont of the fact that the soprano told his
wife,
$50 she did, the meddling old maid. 1t
was none of her business. He didn't take
her, and he isn't likely to. We never had
any trouble in the choir until she got to
poking her nose into everybody's business.
Say, wish you would come out and state
that the choir is perfectly harmonious, and
the paper was mistaken in its report about
the difficulty"
''Of course will, if there is any truth
in it." responded the religious editor SIS
the difficulty all over 90
SIT will be as soon as the tenor gets his
hands on the organist He has been Civ
ing his mouth holiday and saying that
the tenor wants to get the soprano out SO
he can get another one in who used to sing
in the same church up in the country. As
soon as | heard of that l told his wife she
had better keep look out for her husband.
She told him about it and he said there
wasn't word of truth in it, and now she
is keeping watch on him and he can't &c
home from choir practice with me until il
blows over. l don't see why tenor's wife
should be SO jealous of him.
$50 he's going to thump the organist, is
he ?'' inquired the religious editor.
off he can catch him before he gets over
his mad, he will. | wish you would say
that all the differences in the choir have
have been settled, and that the congrega-
ton are anxious to have new soprano.
Will you do this for me?'
Certainly" smiled the religious editor.
'sDidn't hear something about the alto
leaving the choir?"
''No such luck as that p sighed the con-
tralto. 'tShe's as much a fixture as the
contribution box. She and the bald-headed
basso are as thick as the notes in long
run, but have put spoke in her wheel by
telling his wife that he held her hand all
day when we were practicing the Easter
music. She won't bother me and the tenor
any more until she gets out of that scrape.
/ wish you would critcise that basso's
voice. He can't sing any more than lob
ster, and when he puts me out, the leader
looks hard at me and says l will have to dc
better if l am going to stay in that choir
I'd like to see him try and put me out
My husband would wiring his neck fol
him -
so you re married too, are you ?' muir
INJURED the religious editor
''Of course, am" replied the contralto.
''You needn't say anything about that in
your old paper, because l never like to al.
lude to my husband unless he's around.
Now l want you to write nice article
about US, and say that of all the church
choirs in Brooklyn, there is not one so per
fectly harmonious and devoted to its duties
as ours. Will you, that's a good man ?''
And the religious editor hadn't the heart
to refuse her 4ToOklyn Eagle.