davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

"a BIRD IN HAND. This saying
originated from the following circum-
stances:
Will Somers, the celebrated Jester
to Henry VIII, happening to call at
my Lord Surveys, whom he had Of
ten, by a well-timed Jest, saved from
the displeasure of his royal master,
and who consequently was always
glad TO see him, was on this occasion
ushered into the sviary, where he
found my lord amusing himself with
his birds. Somers happened to adj
mire the plumage Of king6sher.
"By my lady" said Surrey, my
prince of wits. l will give it to you"
Will skipped about with delight,
and swore by the great Henry he was
a most noble gentleman. Away went
Will with his kingfsher, telling all
his acquaintances whom he met that
his friend Surrey had just presented
him with it.
Now. it so happened that my Lord
Southampton. who had seen this bird
the day previous. arrived at my Lord
Surrey just as Will Somers had left,
with the intention ofasking it of Sur
rey for a present to a lady friend
Great was his chagrin on finding the
bird gone. Surrey. however. consoled
him with saying that "he knew Som
ers would restore it to him If he (Sur-
rey) promised him two another day"
Away went a messenger to the
prince Of wits, whom he found in
Taptures with his bird, and to whom
he delivered his lords message. Great
was Wills surprise; but he was not
to be bamboozled by even the mon
arch himself.
"Sirrah," says he, "tell your mas
ter that / am obliged for his liberal
offer Of two for one, but that I prefer
one bird in the hand 70 two in the
bush
Hence originated this oftrepeated
saying.-HaPeT's Young People.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

UsEFUL SUe0EsTTONs.-Raw starch.
applied with alittle water, As q paste.
will generally remevo al stains from
bed-ticking. s 1sa a
To clean metal plates. keyholes,
etc. Of doors. also sEair-rods. use sa-
polio; or, II brass, rottenssone.
To clean and polish tortoise-shell
use 9 drop or two Of sweet oil, and
rub it IA thoroughly with the bali d
toe thumb.
silver IN constant use il kept nice
and bright BY washing it every day
y warm soapsnds and drying it with
old linen.
Burns and sealds are immediately
relieved by an application OF dry soda
covered with wet cloth, moist enough
70 desOlxa Il
To clean irons use q lump Of bees
wax tied In q rag, rub the irons with
it when hot. and then scour with 4
paper or cloth sprinkling with salt.
To remove spots from furniture
take four ounces ofvinegar, two ounce.
of sweet oil, one ounce of turpentine
Mix and apply with flannel cloth
Spirits Of ammonia, diluted with
water, if applied with a sponge OF
flannel to discolored spots of the car.
pets or garments. will often restors
the color.
SCOT falling on the carpet from oper
chimneys or carelessly handled stove.
pipes, if thickly covered with salt
can be brushed up without injury t
the carpet.
One pound of green copperas dis.
solved in one quart of boiling water
will destroy foul smells. Powdered
borax scattered in their haunts viii
disperse cockroaches.
A starch that will make linen look
as good as new, is made Of one quart
of well boiled corn starch, three ounce.
Of gum arabic, and two ounces of loai
sugar.
To clean oilcloth, wash with warm
milk. Once in six months scour with
hot soapsuds; dry thoroughly and ap-
ply coat of varnish. They will last
as long again.
When carpets are well cleaned
sprinkle with salt and fold. When
laid, strew with slightly moistened
bran before sweeping. This with salt
will freshen up wonderfully.
To give glass great brilliancy, wash
with damp sponge dipped in spirits,
then dust with powdered blue or
whiting tiled in muslin bag } and
polish with a chamois skin.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

A SPIDERS BRIDGE.-The way in
which a spider spins his web is often
very remarkable. A writer in the
Hearth and Home gives this curious
instance One chilly day, he says, /
was left at home alone, and after
was tired of reading Robinson Cru
soc, / caught a spider and brought
him into the house to play with. Fun
ny kind of mate, wasn't it ! Well, /
took a wash-bas and fastened up
stick in it, like liberty pole or yes
sells mast, and. then poured in water,
enough to turn the mast into an IS
land for my spider, whom | named
Crusoe, and put on the mast. AS
soon as he was fairly cast away, he
anxiously commenced running around
to find the road to the mainland.
He'd scamper down the mast to the
water, stick out a foot, get it wet,
shake it, run round the stick and try
the other side, and then run back up
TO the top again. Pretty soon it be-
came serious matter with Mr. Rob-
inson, and he sat down to think it
over In a moment he acted as if he
wanted to shout for boat, and was
afraid he was going to be hungry. /
put little molasses on the stick. A
hy came, but Crusoe wasn't hungry
for flies just then, he was homesick
for his web in the corner of the wood
shed. He went slowly down the pole
TO the water and touched it a round,
shaking his feet like pussy when she
vets her stockings in the grass, and
suddenly thought appeared to strike
him. Up he went like a rocket to the
top and commenced playing circus.
He held one fcvt in the air, then an
other, and turned round two or three
times. He got excited and nearly
stood on his head before found out
what he knew, and that was this, that
the draught of air made by the fire
would carry a line ashore on which
he could escape from his desert iss
land. He pushed out web that went
floating in the air until it caught on
the table. Then he hauled on the
rope until it was tight, struck it sew
eral times to see if it was strong
enough to hold him, and walked
ashore. / thought he had earned his
liberty, so / put him back in his wood
shed again.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04


RoB0Dv WIEL SEE Ira saork
tme ego we called upon q certain
party IN business and asked him whv
no did not advertise.
oh, because, he answered. what's
the use : Nobody will ever So K.
sYon're mistaken, We said: every
page in our paper Is read.
Nonsense. he replied; even ifthey
iid read my ad.. people would never
think Of il again. / don't want %
aasartise.
'Bnt-
No bnts at all. I don't want 40
advertise. and don't bother me anv
more; TN busy; and he walked back
into his store and strangled poor
~ that was helping itself from bar
sel Ct anRar.n
Time passed. and we never again
intimated advertisement to him.
though meeting him daily. Yester-
day the gentleman called atsour sane
tlm looking Q little uncertain as 10
how he would be received. We cher
ised no hard feelings against him, and
motioned him TO chair.
i suppose you heard of that little
affair of mine below?
oh. yes, we said; that little esca-
pade night before lastp Yes; we've
got all the particulars
Hush not so loud, please said
he, of course you are going to say
nothing in the paper about it.
And why notS It's matter of
interest to your friends and the peo-
pie generally
Heavens Why it would ruin
me-
oh. no, guess not; nobody will ever
see it.
Yes, they viii; and it will ruin me,
as sure as am sitting here. I'll be
the laughing stock Of the town. They
will see it.
We rose and touched him impress
sively on the shoulder.
Well we will admit that the peo-
pie will see it; but then, you know,
they will never think Of it again.
His words came back TO him like a
fash, and he trembled so violently
that his eyeballs fairly jungled, and
he was such an object Of commisera-
ton that we promised TO keep mum.
This little moral is drawn from the
above, which applicable to the world
over: Ask a man to advertise and
he will Immediately say. in the ma
jority Of cases. Nobody will ever
see it, but advertise gratis some lit
tie indiscretion he may commit, and
he Immediately grows indignant over
the certainty that the whole world
will know it.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

= FUEEY BILL FROM an ARTTsr.
- caEae across : copy Of . funny old
alil frrm . painter sent 10 . noEsss
lord. . professed ccnnoisseur and large
collector Of pictures. give the items
verbatim Cor the amusement Of vour
rexders from the copy, which reads
more Like : comic effusion than 4 poor
mans clai1n for artistic work
20 filing un the chink in the Red
Ca. and repairing the damage to Pha-
r0ah's host.
70 cleaning SIX Of The Apostles and
adding q entirely new Judas Isca-
70 : pair Of new hands for Daniel
n the lions den, and = set Of teeth
for The honess.
In an alfArafion in the Rslief. mend
ing the Commandments, and making
q new Lords Prayer.
To new vanishing Moses rod.
To repairing Nebuchadnezzar' Z
beard.
To mending the pitcher of Rebecca.
To pair of ears for Balam, and ma
ing a new tongue for the ass.
To renewing the picture Of Samson
in the character Of fox hunter, and
substituting a whip for the fire. brand.
To new broom and bonnet for the
Witch of Endor.
To sheet-anchor, a jury-mast and
long boat for Noah's Ark.
To painting twenty-one new steps
to Jacobs ladder.
To mending the pillow stone.
To adding some Scotch cattle to
Pharaoh's lean kline.
To making a new head for Holo-
fernes and cleansing Judith's hands.
To giving blush to the cheeks oi
Eve on presenting the apple to Adam.
To painting Jezebel in the charac-
rer of huntsman taking flying leap
from the walls of Jericho.
To planting new city in the land
Of Nod.
To painting a shoulder Of mutton
and shin Of beef in the mouths Of
two of the ravens feeding Elijah.
To an exact representation of Noah
in the character of a general reviewing
his troops, preparatory to their march,
with the dove dressed as an aide-de-
camp.
To painting Noah dressed in an ad-
miral's uniform.
To painting Samson making a pre-
sent of his jaw bone to the proprietors
Of the British museum.
To making the Congress Of Ameri-
ca, as in 1874, and the Tower of Ba-
bel companion prints.
To repairing Solomon's nose and
making a new nail to his middle fing-
er.-C. G. in Land and Water.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

Cold WINTERs.-The following sta
tistics of the good old winters are Gu
rious. In 401, the Black Sea was en-
tirely frozen over. In 1853, not only
the Black Sea, but the Straits Of the
Dardanelles, were frozen over; the
snow in some places rose fifty feet
high. In 822. the great rivers of Eu-
rope-the Danube, the Elbe, etc.
were SO hard frozen as te bear heavy
wagons for a month. In $50, the
Adriatic was frozen. In 99l, every
thing was frozen; the crops totally
failed, and famine and pestiIence
closed the year. In 1867, the most
of the travellers in Germany were fro
zen to death on the roads. In 1888.
the Pc was frozen from Cremona 10
the sea; the wine casks were burst.
and even the trees split by the action
OF the frost with immense noise. In
1886, the Danube was frozen to the
bottom, and remained long in that
state. In 1916. the crops wholly
failed in Germany; wheat, which some
years before sold in England at six
shillings the quarter, rose to two
pounds. In 1889, the crops failed in
Scotland, and such famine ensued
that the poor were reduced to feed on
grass, and many perished miserably
In the fields. The successive winters
Of 1432-33-34 were uncommonly Sc
we're. 1t once showed forty days with
out interruption. In l54S, the wine
distributed to the soldiers in Flanders
was cut with hatchets. In 1854, the
winter was excessively cold. Most Of
the hollies were killed. Coaches
drove along the Thames, the ice Of
which was eleven inches thick. In
100, occurred the cold winter. The
frosts penetrated three yards into the
ground. In l7l6, booths were erec-
ted and fairs held on the Thames. In
l744 and 1745 the strongest ale in
England, exposed to the air, was COW
cred in less than fifteen minutes with
ice an eighth Of an inch thick. In
1909, and again in 1872, the winters
were remarkably cold. In 1914, there
was a fair on the frozen Thames
Scientific AmeTIcon.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

p@- A Toronto woman, hearing the
last church bell ring. hurriedly
snatched from dark closet what she
supposed to be her dolman and threw
it over her arm. When she got in
church and laid it over the back of a
pew. she discovered that she had
brought a pair of her husbands trow-
sers in mistake. Although she at
tracted just as much attention to her
self as If she had worn $500 dolman.
yet somehow she didn't feel proud
and put on more airs than hand-or-
gan, and she couldn't remember the
preachers text to save her life-and
Just at that particular moment she
didn't care whether it was saved or
not.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

more than mere friendship. She
fought against herself with all the
strength Of her nature; she could not
bear to prove false TO her own theo-
ries and traitor to her favorite cause !;
but finally she felt that the struggle
was hopeless. and made up her mind
to keep her secret securely locked in
her own bosom.
While gathering primroses one
sweet spring afternoon, Dorothy heard
a step crushing the dead leaves, and
saw Hugh coming towards her.
I want to speak to You. be said.
Will you walk with me a littleY
Prese ntlY he turned sharply and
took both her hands, looking more in
earnest than she Lad ever seen hisn
look.
I can { stand this any longer, he
cried ont. i must know my fate one
way or the other. 1t is true that I
am years older, but no one will ever
care for you better than do. If
you cannot love me in return, will
60 away and never worry YOU any
more, / give you my word. Am / to
60, Dorothy ?
Col Oh, MOI she gasped ont
hardly able to realize what he was
saying, only feeling as if she could
not breathe, her heart beat 30 wild
ly.
Not long afterwards there was a
happy wedding at the dear old Irish
home and then Dorothy came back
to brighten up the old house at Ley
ton.
Hugh Lambert would have been
less or more than man if he could
have resisted triumphing over her a
little; and, as they went into the
library, where he and she had often
argued together, and she had bravely
defended her theories, he turned and
said
'By-the-bye, Dorothy, who was
right, after all, about Platonic friend
ships?'
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04
na-In a triaI in Germany recentl,

B@-In a trial in Germany recently
a curious document was produced.
which was called forth by the mar
riage of the Count de Sulz, a Roman
Catholic, to Agatha, Countess Of
Hanau. Protestant, in the year 1906.
At the wedding the bridegroom swore
to respect his future wifes religious
views, and signed, sealed, and deliv-
cred deed to that effect. It was
couched in the following terms: 81.
Rudolph, Count of Sulz, hereby prom
ise on my honor as nobleman-or may
the devil take me-that / will allow
my future wife to remain in her reli-
gion, nor will | offer her any induce
ment in the slightest to abandon it
] have at home two bibles; if that il
not enough for her. / will get her two
more. Let her read in them brave
ly and industriously. Moreover, it
IS her body, not her soul, I take. /
shall remain in my religion, IN which
Ihave been brought up from my youth.
/ know that / am on the right road;
if she won't 20 to heaven, let her 20 to
he'll. Signed, Rudolph, Count Of
Sulz."
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

nA- The counsel for the railro ID
company has been settling with the
widows Of two guards who had been
killed in the company's services. "Oh,
sir, says one widow, 1t seems to me
that you could allow me more than
that. I'VE cannot, madame. Your
husband was guard, like the other.
and he came to his death under sim
liar circumstances; they were both
run over and instantly killed" II
know, but he was run over BY the
lightning express and the other man
was run over by q way freight"
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

BEEF TEA.-A quick way 10 pre-
pare this is to chop a pound Of lean
beef fine and put It in a bowl. cover
ing with cold water. Let it stand for
fifteen minutes onward-that is long
er if you have time. Then pour BEST
and liquid in saucepan and boil
from fifteen to thirty minutes. Strain
of the liquid; season slightly salt. Il
is better to let it cool and take off
the fat; also to let the beef soak q
long while, as that draws out the
juices. Soak in cold water.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

IA There are now about twenty
four hundred different diseases, and
every year the strain on q single pat
ent medicine becomes harder and
harder, yet the medicine stands up
manfully and promises to cure them
all.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

H. A Cortland man who read at
the end Of q friends marriage notice
No cards. sent him . eucAer deck BY
the first mail.
- Earth has nothing softer than
> w0mans heart, unless. perhaps. It
be a tomato in the prime * LIE.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04
g. a Boston reporter has inven-

- a Boston reporter has invent
ed paper cuff az long as his arm.
He fnds it more convenient than a
notebook. His method Of using it is
simple; he pulls it down as occasion
requires, and cuts off that portion on
which he has made his memoranda.
He says it has at last one great merit
there i no danger Of mislsying it.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

B9- The best preparation known
IN market for restoring gray hair to
Its original color in Halls Vegetable
Sicilian Hair Renewer. Try It'll
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

80 Rev. W. G. johnson, Of Wood
berry, says. Il have used Brown 3
Iron Bitters in my family to my en-
tire satisfaction. "
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

bIve risen from the bar to the
bench, said lawyer on quitting the
profession and taking up shoe-mak-
ing.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

s~ A family paper published a
long article entitled housekeeping
hereafter.
"Merciful heavens" groaned Q dis
trasted mother Of FIVE children, and
keeper Of one husband and two ser
wants, IF / thought there was going
to be any housekeeping hereafter, /
declare I'd never die.
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

s~ Miss Katie NagIe, Baltimore.
says: Il have used Brown's Iron Bit
ters for loss Of appetite aud weakness
and find ny health improved"
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1883-01-04

How white are the fair robes Of
charity!
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26

During his remarkable career as a law
yer, Judge Savage has at different times
been a candidate for district judge,
regent, United States Senator, member
of Congress, Supreme Judge, Consul,
member of Legislature. Republican.
This is as malicious as it is false. No
man dares to say that Judge Savage has
ever asked for a nomination to any office.
He was twice elected judge because an
almost unanimous bar and thousands of
Republicans in the district demanded it
and enforced their demand at the
polls. The efforts James W. Savage
has made TO avoid nominations are motor
ious. He positively refused the nomina-
ton to Congress last fall when the chan
ces of success were strongly in his favor.
The Republican is perfectly aware that
he fought against the nomination for
mayor until the last moment and Only
accepted it under the most urgent solici-
tations of party friends and many of our
most prominent business men who are
staunch Republicans. 1t is no secret
that the chancellorship of the university
with a salary nearly double that of a JUS
tlce of the the Supreme court has been
repeatedly offered to and declined by him.
That Judge Savage has ever been a can
didate for the legislature or for a federal
appointment Is also false.
But what is the use of answering will
full misrepresentation and malicious lies.
The editorial crank of that paper is ire
sponsible and is governed by neither fair
ness or common decency in his cowardly
assaults.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26
Cattle.

The Clarendon (Tex.) News gives the
science of branding in the following tx.
position: The object of branding is to
produce another and different crop OF
hair where the irons touch, which may
be clearly distinguished from the other
hair about it. This is effectually done
by burning the outer cuticle of the skin.
To burn deep does not improve the brand
in the least. The iron should be heated
to a dark cherry red and quickly applied,
when the burn is almost instantaneous,
giving butssan instantaneous sting, when
the pain ceases, as has been a thousand
times proven by the actual cantery to
the human subject. If a half heated
iron is held to the skin a long time it
cooks through the skin and makes an
ugly sore, which subsequently gives the
animal great pain. 1t is true that
there is a good deal of this inhuman sort
of branding done. 1t is inhuman and in.
furious to the hide of the animal for pur-
poses of leather. 1t is also true that a
burn on the outer cuticle will ultimately
show through the entire thickness of the
skin in consequence of cicatrix on the
surface. Leather is tougher, firmer, and
more durable where brands have been ap-
piled than when they have not. The only
drawback is, that it will not finish
smoothly over the brands. In other
words, the more a side of leather has
been properly branded, the better it is
for wear.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26
STRENGTHEN OUR JUDICIARY.

The nomination of Judge Savage BY
the Anti onopolists and the Democrats
was a move in the direction of strength.
ening our Supreme Bench and of lifting
the Judicial ermine out of the mire OF
partisan politics. There is no honest
lawyer whose mind is not warped by
party prejudices who is not ready to adj
init that Judge Savage has been for years
the ablest District Judge in the State.
The records TO which his enemies have
appealed, show conclusively the satisfac-
ton with which he has been regarded in
the Third district from which fewer ap-
peals in proportion to the business, have
been taken than from any other district
in the State, while the per centage of
reversed cases has been smaller than
those credited to any other Judge in
Nebraska during the same period. 1t
wa owing to n knowledge of his entire
fitness for the position through his edu-
cation, professional standing and fine
record, that Judge Savage Sc
cured the nomination to the
Supreme bench from two political
parties. He brings to his candidacy long
years of professional and judicial expert
ence and an honorable record as a cul-
tured gentleman and a ripe scholar. Mr..
Reese's nomination by the Republicans
is defensible only on the ground of his
availability as a railroad candidate. He
was the choice of the Union Pacific for
weeks before the convention met and was
pushed through by railroad influences in
a convention presided over by Church
Howe and engineered by the men who
have made railroad republicanism a stencil
in the nostrils of all fair minded voters
in this state. Mr.. Reese's nomination
assured one thing and only one thing to
the republican leaders and that was the
earnest and heartfelt approval and sup
port of the railroad managers. Judged
by his merits Mr.. Reese was palpably the
weakest of all candidates before the con-
v%ention. AS a lawyer he had never risen
above ~mediocrity, rs a mar he is lacking
in the culture and scholarship of Judge
Savage. while his entire professional Ca
reer has been bounded by the jury box
and bar as prosecuting attorney of the
Fourth district.
To say that Mr.. Reese Is unknown 10
Omaha daily bee., 1883-10-26

the bar Of the State outside OF his own
district and that he has never sat a single
day on the bench is to give sufficient rea-
Sons why he should be overwhelmingly
defeated when he presumes to pit him
self against such a man as Judge James
w. Savage.
The Supreme bench would be materi-
ally weakened by Mr.. Reese's election.
1t will be none too strong without Judge
Lake. Every interest in the State de-
mands that the best lawyer and judge
shall be elected to the vacancy and nc
one who looks the field over can doubt
that aside from all partisan and personal
prejudices Judge Savage is the man for
the place.