davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-11-17
The Wonderful Gopher,

Four business men sat in Third ave-
nre car on their way down town. Look
ing up from his newspaper one OF them
said:
Heres an item that says gopher
holes make horseback riding dangerous
on the plains. Now, I'd like to know
what gopher is, anyway" looking
around inquringly.
"A gopher is a striped squirrel, said
a tall man in tone of quiet assurance
you're mistaken, SIR" said his
neighbor. "a gopher Is a land turtle
that burrows. y
II shall have to differ from you gem
tlemen," interposed the fourth man.
"A gopher is neither a striped squirrel
nor turtle. 1t is kind of rat"
A man on the opposite seat who had
listened to the conversation with evident
interest, said:
Excuse me, gentlemen, but you are
all mistaken. Agopher is a snake. I've
killed lots of EN-, and | know what l III
talking about.
"Are YOU willing to back up your
ouinionP" asked the gopher-squirrel
man, taking a roll of bills from his
pocket.
a gopher is snake
The money was put into the hands OF
the gentleman who started the discus
sion. He accepted it under protest, say
ing that he was positive that a gopher
was a gray burrowing squirrel, He had
often seen them. A heated discussion
followed, in which the words gopher,
snake, squirrel rat and turtle inquired
prominently. The money in the stake
holders hands soon amounted to go
Ii was agreed that Webster should set
tie the dispute. The gentlemen alighted
from the car, went into a hotel, and a
copy of the .'Unabridged' was pro
cured. :,
electromagnetic - here 1t is, "
said the stakeholder, as he ran his ting
ers down the page: 49,,
Gopher-An animal of several differ
ent species. The name was originally
given by French settlers to many bur
rowing animals from their honey-com6'
ing the earth. In Canada and lllinoi:
the name was given to gray burrow'
ing squirrel, west of the Mississippi anc
in Wisconsin to striped squirrel. II
Missouri, common species is pouch
ed rat of reddish or chestnut-browl
color, with broad, mole-like fore feet
In Georgia a snake is called by the SAM
name, and in Florida turtle,
As the stakeholder refunded the mon
ey, he said Gentlemen, it appear
that we are all right and all wrong
But we have at least learned some
thing. "-NeW York Sun.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-11-17
The Daily Bulletin.
Paving for Kissing his Wife,


There have been many cases in when
kisses have been considered in courts
of Justice, and not only considered out
valued in money and paid for. But we
have never heard until now tnat nus
hands could be sentenced for Kissing
their wives. The district court OF TINS
CITY, by a recent decision, now warns all
husbands that it Is not always safe Tor
them to kiss even their own laWiul
wives.
On August 6 the case of "Kochergin
vs.. Kochergin" was tried in the district
court. Catherine Kochergin sued her
husband, Ivan Kochergin, for LOU
roubles, due on two bills of exchange
given by him to her. The plaintiff |,
young and pretty woman, and well
dressed, appeared in person.
Ivan Kochergin.' cried the Court.
In answer to the call the defendant
appeared. He was merchant OF mid
die age, having the manners and char
acteristics of his class. He was in
jolly state.
Here we are" he said, coming up be-
fore the bench, and then turning to his
,sife he added, sweetly smiling; Cath
crime Stepanova, why should we quar-
rel?"
You are in court said the presid'
ing Judge severely. This is not the
place for personal explanations,
Mrs. Kocherin then presented two
bills of exchange to the Court
as this your signature on these
bills?" the defendant was asked
YES, il is mine, was the answer
there is no use of denying thst. But
I am not going to pay them for they
are worthless and invalid. | will tell
YOU how | came to give them, Cath
crime Stepanovna, my wife, several
times left my house and went to her
father, Mr.. Shustoff. But | love her so
fondly that l could not stay long with
out her; so went to see her, Do you
want your wife, saked Shustotf; ii so
sign this bill. And | did sign it; sign
ed two of them. | gave the bills, not in
exchange for money, but on account OF
nv love, for kisses from my wife Oh,
how fond | am of her. If your Honor
orders me to pay these bills it will be
highway robbery roared the defendant.
Behave yourself admonished the
Court,
"Ah, nv dear SOUL understand. y
II am not your soul at all, y roareo
the Court, land will punish you If yor
do not come to your seDses.
But the defendant would not listen tc
the Court. He turned his smiling face
to his wife, flung her kisses with hi
hand, and said:
Catherine stepanovns' how dearly
love you.'
Roars of laughter shook the court
room. For moment even the Judge
could not control their features. Tn
plaintiff blushed, and the defendan
continued ardently TO profess his low
for his wife When order had been re
stored the court announced the verdict
The defendant was ordered to pay on
thousand roubles to his wife, and i
case he did not pay, his house was to b
attached,
at is downright robbery" shoute
leave the room at once. MeanWhi
Mrs, Kochergin started out with h,
father, but the defendant rushed afte
crying; Catherine Stepanovns, Kat
love you"
The auditors rushed after them, laugh
ing, stamping, and applauding, Th
pretty little plaintiff took droshki an
hurried away, and poor Ivan Kochergi
ran after her with his arms outstretche
aud shouting
"Oh, Kate, how | love you.'-Moscoa
RUSSIA NeWS.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-11-17
Women Clerks and Their Paw.

A correspondent of the Brooklyn
Eagle writes Of the female clerks at
Washington:
There is not the smallest prejudice
against allowing woman to do mans
work, but it hurts their consciences for
her to have mans wages. 1t is esti-
mated that not more than twelve women
in government employ here get $1,000
a year, but there are hundreds who fill
the places of 81 500 clerks. One woman
clerk in the postof1ice department has
sat for ten years at an $1,000 desk,
drawing all that time 5000 a year. An
other did the work of an $1,000 trans
lator in one of the departments for ST.
200 and foolishly got her pay raised to
$1,000, when she was promptly dis
charged and man put in her place.
She now has a good place in the agri-
cultural department, and some unwise
friend among the senators proposed to
have her pay again raised, but she had
sense enough to decline. The work re-
quired of the 5000 women clerks is
what would command in any but gov
eminent employ about $780, but the
work of the men clerks for which they
receive $1,000 is exactly the same. The
average hours Of work during the year
are about the same; the women lose
little more time through illness than
men, but the men lose considerably
more time from other causes. No theft
has ever occurred in the treasury through
women, but frequently through the men;
it is accounted for by saying that the
women have not the courage to steal.
The women are much more expert in
handling and counting greenbacks; it
constantly happens that counterfeit
notes are passed through half the banks
in the United States and are undetected
until they come into the hands of the
women experts in the treasury, Thrw--
fourths of the women in the public
offices are honest and hard working, but
Of all the different specimens of human
ity the average male clerk is about the
poorest. As Chief Justice Chase said
to a young man who applied to him for
an office: al have ruined two or three
young men that way, and ! don't pro-
pose to do it any more. will give YOU
something better; Fifty cents to buy an
Ak with so that you can 90 to work.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-11-17

rRATga LEAVE CAIRO;
800 "a m. Mail,
Arriving IN st Louis GAS am; Chicago, $50 N.
Connsellpg at Odiu and bingham for Cincir
natl, Louisville, Indianapolis and points East
ia am. st. Louis and Western
Express.
arriving II st. Louis I :05p. m, and connecnn'
10! all points West
$50 pm. Fast Express
For St, Louis and Chicago, arriving at ~ Lou
lO40 p N, and Chicago :: ~ AN.
$50 pm. Cincinnati Express
arriving st Cincinnati 200 am; LouisNile oi9S
Indianapolis 4:05 am. Passengers b!
ms train reach the above points - 70 80
HOURS in advance OF any other route.
kSy-The also p. m. express has pULLMhN
.EEpTNG CAR Cairo 10 Cincinnati, withoal
,hsnges, and through sleepers TO 81. Louia sn'
Chicago.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-11-17
Fast Time East.

D,ccorrorS by this line go through to Eas ,.
passenger eTn points without any ds.s!
,sused BY Sunday intervening. The SATURDAY alIel
,oon train frou Cairo arrives IN new fo-k hohoA!
norniur al 1875. Thrty-si1 hours in advance oil
~ other route, su,,,o
apply at Illinois Central Railroad Depot, cairo.
''f'' j H. JONES, Ticket Agent.
All HANSON. Gen Pass. Agent. Chicago
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-11-17

A Vienna cabmau has lighted his cab
by means of an incandesccnt lamp. A
dynamo attached to the axle generates
current when the cab is running, which
is stored III accumulators and used as
rcuuired
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-11-17

Chief Brooks, of the secret service of
the government, says of the reported
raising OF postal notes! They cannot
DO successfully raised by filing the
punch-mark made by the postmaster,
with piece OF the note punched on an
other figure, Any postmaster who is so
yerdant as to be hoodwinked by that PRO-
cedure, should be discharged from the
service. A piece thus inserted would bo
detected by simply running the fingers
over it, 50 blind man ought to detect
the fraud.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-11-17
$500 K EWARD!

paw the above reward for Of Liver Complaint
Oytreps Sick Headache lndieeon Constipation Co,venr,
we cannot cure with We,,T Vegetable Liver s when the dsc
tion's strictly complied with They purely vegetable and
nsvT isI to give aIfAeon Sugar Coated LAgs bore, COO
ianng so pills rs cents For sale bv all druggists, Beware 81
eoun.u AID inatoni Tie genuine manufactured only BY
JOHN G. WEST Co.. Isl ls3 W. Madison ST. Chcax.
srse VA tacknge ien y mail rra rect damn
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-11-17
Health is Wealth F!

DIR L. G. WEsT's NERVE AND BRAIN TnEAE.
MENr, a guaranteed specific for Hysteria, Dizzi,
mesa, Conyulslons, Fits, Nervous Neuralgia
Headache, Nervous Pr ostration caused by the use
preston, Softening OF the Brain resulting in in.
sanity and leading to misery, decay and death,
Premature Old Age, Barronness, Lose OF power
n either sex, Involuntary Losses and Spermat-
orrhoea caused by oyer-exertion of the brain. self
abuse or over-indulgence. Each box contains
one months treatment 500 box, or six boxes
for $500, sent by mail preraid on receipt OF price
VIZ GUARANTEE SIX BOXES
To cure any case. With each order received byne
for six boxes. accompanied with $500, we will
fund the money il the treatment does not effect
cure. Guarantees Issued onlyby
HARRY w. Schulz
Druggist, Cor, Commercial ave. b 18th 9 :, Cairo
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13
TREASURY TROUBLES.
Rigid Rules for the Government Employees
Afraid to Claim Their Souls.

Washington, January 1l.-Comp-
troller of the Currency Knox, and
Treasurer Gillian have been repri-
manded by the chief clerk of the treas
ury, little Mr.. Webster. Under the
rigid and army-like discipline estab-
lished by Webster the employees of the
treasury department are now afraid TO
say their souls are their own. Spies
and informers hang around this build
ing, and the least infraction of the
petty rules is at once reported TO MIR.
Webster, who seems to love to ropri-
mand better than he does TO eat. a
day or two ago Mr.. Webster
sent for the United States
treasurer, Mr.. Gilfllan, and for the
first time in his service of twenty years
Mr. Gillian was reprimanded. His
offence consisted in the fact that his
wife had called on him for n moment
during business hours. After Mr.
Gilfillan recovered from his astonish-
mcnt he said u few very earnest words
to Mr.. Webster, and warned him
against repetition of what he called
insolencc. RAIN
Y Comptroller Knox was also informed
by Mr.. Webster that his presence was
desired in the chief clerks Office.
Mr.. Knox sent word that the chief
clerk would find him in the comp
troller's office. Thereupon Mr.. Web,
ster went to the Office and rebu<ed
Mr.. Knox for permittinga lady visitor
in his Office. Mr.. Knox did not
know at the time that the lady visitor
was hiswife, for he was out when she
called He, however, politely elected
Mr.. Webster from his office and told
him he was insolent. When Comp
troller Knox learned that he was rep
rimanded because his wife
had stepped into his office
he was very indignant and went
at once TO Secretary Folger.
He complained of the insolence of the
chief clerk. Secretary Folger called
on Mr.. Webster for an explanation and
was not well enough satisfied with it
to reprimand Mr.. Knox over again,
but Mr.. Knox informed Chief Clerk
Webster that If he set foot in his Office
again on such an GRAND he would
forcibly and Immediately eject him,
and Mr.. Webster was obliged TO pocket
the affront. Mr.. Knox and Mr.. Gil
fillan receive their appointment from
the president Mr.. Knox's friends say
that Mr.. Webster is a very oflicious
| person.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13
P0LK'S BOX.

Papers Left by the De-
faulting Tennessee Treasurer.
bville, Tenn, January H. A
Is come to light, left by Treasurer
before he decamped with the
treasurer, DIR. VIM. Morrow,
box and contents he had in
I'D his attorney-John w. Chill
pr this city-to take charge of.
box contains various papers,
4 receipts, drafts and due-bills,
different persons for amounts
Big from IS to $4,000, and
Eating $125,000. They date
4 as far as the spring
p. Among them are due-bills
&rles n. Gibbs, former secretary
Re, for $1,000; about the same
pr i'm the name of Rufus X. Polk,
amailer amounts from various
Qers of the last Legislature.
are sight drafts ON Thomas
lnor for about $4,000; also for
1drawn by n member of the last
ature on O'Connor. There are
|ers showing that Polk invested
odd dollars in a lumber enter
n ID. b. Cooper & CO.: also a re-
.of ID. b. Cooper for $1,000 bor-
money.
er papers in the box give evil
that Polk invested $500 in
.silver mines in Mexico,
ia n Nashville Gate Com
There is one receipt
5000 paid to Thomas
hnor for stock in the Tennessee
md Iron Company; notes Of VIII
Morrow, former state treasurer,
rtively for 81, 500 and $500, and
'w's check for 500 and $50, to-
with number of other smaller
pts against various persons.
papers were left in the attor-
hands by Polk for collection for
'hetlt of certain Of his named
'men. The walnut lumber iu-
lent is first liable for TIE balance
purchase money, about S25, 900,
|he property is probably WORTH
e that.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13
Hardware.
Liquors.

ALcoHoI.-s2 50 per gallon, as per high
wines. ttME
y Observation-Disclosures 81 l0Si 50, as per proof
sour mash, one year old, 81 81; two years old
g 0d6D2 -; three years old 81 5o92 75; fancy
extra old whisky Si@,5 as per age.
WISES--Clarct, in case, 81 606u5 90, per quail
ity; Catawba, per gallon, 900 So Port, 81 200
%, Sherry, per gal, 81 OsG3 10, Madeira,
81 0QDl0 90. lft5e
CHAMpAGSE--G. II. Mumm 4 Co., 227 500
80 90; Hoidsck, In baseet, S2B 0oG2S 20; Krue,
in basket, 10 00Ca2s 10; Domestic champagne,
81 00Gii 90.
ALR-stocl, Ale, per doz., SO oo@2 %; Porter,
per doz., 81 00s2 .. n
i5orrLE BgER-st. Louis quarts, 81! 90; pints
sl2 so; Budweiser, own size, 81, so; pints
$l4 co. Erlapger beer, quarts, $40 20. pints
sl3 50; Schlitz milwaukee,, quarts Sl2 oc: pints
Sl3 oG; Hub Punch Sl3 90.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13
COOKE COUNTY.
of sensations--Personal Mention
Etc, Etc. .stt

ondcnce:of the Gazette.
81 GAINESVILLE, January ii.
scity is certainly getting up n
Hon. last week two or three
Entered into a general shooting
lin which Policeman George w.
IA, an excellent officer, was shot
wrist and may yet lose his hand.
4 the party named McLish was
etty badly wounded.
I in order, two of our prominent
3 had quite a serious misunder-
BE-, but was finally settled after
a little claret.
he 9th Isom Susfield shot him.
Id is yet on the verge of the
%small hopes being entertained
Recovery.
81 of all, Mrs. J. c. Cook, living
Die east side of Pecan
ascend the golden stairs yes
&by means of laudanum. Timely
s, however, have caused Il post
lent of the Journey.
fge Kerns, al old time citizen of
willie, has returned from Colo
where he has been spending a
Of years.
wv. T.. Roberts of the Register
len north on business trip, but
pcted in daily.
!. Sherwood is in Chicago with
He son, who was sent there some
since for n surgical operation.
Z. Boil, our district attorney, is
ing a few days at home,
Ilso is Hon. G. G.. Pot
district Judge. Both are
& up for district court,
begins here in February. Real
business has been good with our
1nen for several weeks, a number
h sales having been effected.
hesville is behind her sister
Vim one respect this winter, and
5 fires. We have not single
D report in the last six months.
Iness good. Cotton comes in
Freely yet.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13
COLORADO.
I,uents of n Progressive Town--Lo-
Gals and Personals.
,dence Of the Gazette.

Rndence of the Gazette.
ID COLORADO, January IL.
will your readers think when
yarn that Colorado is going To
Into a street car city in the first
\ her existence. Well, such is
bnendous increase of business,
&ptc.. that such an obvious need
Enized, and already charter
6r such an enterprise, and ere
k,I can whistle the ldriverat the
Ind have him drop you at the
Fards. N1essrs. +. w. James,
SNYDER, james Wilson and
kyill proceed under their charter
such a road soon.
Sope, deer, buffalo and wild
Zare bountifully plentiful on the
soard of the Coloradoian now.
Plumbers are killed around
ii consumed and shipped.
kgnificent band of music, at
4 of the Nettie Boyd Combina-
Z lust now discoursing sweet
on the streets to an audience
one thouaand to fifteen hun
&ectators, the crowd combining
lake up representatives ofnearly
~ nationality on the globe. An
&ouse Is an object soon to be
red by the meandering timer
Eolorado.
difficulty is experienced by
ent here in getting papers sent
,undles ut n time when they
Arrive. They have, with few
bns, failed to reach him until
HI or fourth day after publica-
bile the list for regular sub
come up all right. There is a
bose some where aud should be
Ned.
b. L. Bently, editor of the Wool
is registered ut the Rendre-
House, and is pleased to note the
y prosperity of the city. Mr..
4 informed me that he could
realize the change that had
lace in the past four months,
htly has reason to be proud OF
mnense success the Wool 'Gr0woy
&ng with all over the state, and
|&re more than amongst the WOO
IL of Mitchell and vicinity.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13

Pre- are many forms Of nervous de-
IN men that yield to the use OF
RS Iron Pills. Those who are
'ieu with nervous weakness,
sweats, ETC., should try them.
Fit Wholesale by l.. N. Brunswig,
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13
Wool, Hides, Etc.

Medium according 10 grade, quality
ana condition .......-...........-............
Fine according 10 grade, quality and
cphultiOh.-
Coarse according 90 grade, quality
Mexican improvad according 10
grade, qualify and condition ,...........
Mexican according TO grade, quality
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13
GAZEIIEs WORTH. TExAs SATURDAY,

American halves and euar's u disc rominal
Mexican silver dollar ..A.l... ~ NOMINAL
Mex lean silver halves ....... ~ NOMINAL
Mexican silver Quartors... 10 nominal
BANKERS UNCHANGED
New York sight. gold .............. nominal
New York sight, currency ........... NC per Sleo
New Orleans sight, god.............. nominal
New Orleans sight currency. ....... SIC per 500
st. Louis sight currency ........... 85c per sico
Galveston sight, gold and cur'cy sc per 500
Sterling, In small sums, s. currency per 81.
-a COMMERCIAL EXCHANGE. f,F T
New York sight currency ........lx6DA discount
New Orleans sight, Rold.........~lS0DM discount
New Orleans sight, currency--sS@& discornt
Galveston sight, currency ...~par "a disc.
st. Louis sight, currency ......... lS0M discount
Chicago sight, currency ...........lfsG% discount
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13

~ ~ "a
ted, OH Tuesday, as required by law,
and his inaugural address, which will
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13

presented petitions from
Ints' exchange of Dallas
Article ISo nnf the revised
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13

risiiiu uvvrs az Sucksuiiyii & fsllgr1lng
his studies diligently unr iiis tutor,
Mr.. Langley. He take' esgsssar s1er-
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13

graurlug leave Tor ninety days TO G.
q. White, county judge Of Smith
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13
Honored

HVhVstW
d have
| this
Of the
a States
|, must |
Is u rcpu
ees Brad
o out Of
= adjou}
Penn
cent boil
The c
negro
IN the nj
all over
to Offer
iey enter
gon To I
and wof
rtheusu|
in Dol
egroes II
ar coInpa|
colored
OF suprt
Special.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13
Cotton aud Grain.
FinalcIaI.

GOLD AND NILffN. - ID
Buying. Selling
wv
American silver dollar........ 4 disc nominal
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13

sion OF twenty-five dollars per month,
total deafness In one Or De a,l
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13

he rankes|
700 petitio|
r. their sp |
ppoint
on list SO
ITO all al
notice I'll
of Fehru]
adopt AL
4 v,rnlor.1
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13

3.
B notice III
'of Februa
, adopt an
sidlbe@rc
tia uoeao
lon Hnn Y
Ntu IHn1
ress. ia
-u1----.-
rr MN
~ W IN
us LIVING
t Promise
"'.nr seven
-''-.-''
nuary 10
f Mary
inst Her,
ycstcrda
IN at twd
IA a few
vas stra
le audic
result
gere CALI
"Ge,,tl
agreed
t
Mr.. &
ave. We
full alllou
instanta
waits.
and was
upon oh,
u,Ige Pr,
contentn
placilly
,efore Iii
stay, and
|
with her.
heard
with Oh
sallcd ONT
anne viii
a. o,,,v,.i
the lar
here wer
aiming
III fo9o !,
yenr Ala
he kneyv
IA yIIpt
Ii G,in
room" ~,
IN sl,e ",
In propr,
itled. and
she was
she said
attorney.
IDIOT ~
Il know
ara foryo
/ down
zen said
Mr.. Elem,
saidthea
lss,n said
out.n
n soon
other.
rors eait
lry room
ding the
ntly ruje
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13

ernlany,
I'd two n
for singl
enable
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13

.nio,,gers|
Of that
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13

ForkEst,
ae feat
4
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-01-13

/ the vef
I'd in a
o was oI
# the pli
r,iict ex