Daily globe., 1883-08-04
PLEASANI.RIES.

| DOCTORS i've by pli1age.
| CALIFORNIA is raisin' raisins.
| A HEALTE-G1vING number-Quinine.
THE man who had so elastic q step
wore rubbers.
How man decides how he will build
his house-By lot.
THE chiropodist first dates from Will
lam the Corncurer.
| THE term Mormon means the NOR
mon-y you have the more wives you can
be sealed to.
The man who hesitates is lost. That
is why Charlie Ross hesitates abont
coming back.
In the voyage of life every man is
provided with skull, with which to
paddle his own canoe.
WICKED New York men want to be
buried in Greenwood, because it won't
burn so quickly as the dry.
DARWIN says: "Man, only can
whistle" Darwin certainly never lived
anywhere near railroad crossing.
A PROCESSION of men passed through
the Bowery and were an hour passing a
given point. The given point was so.
loon.
WHATEVER you have to do, do it with
your might. Many lawyer has made
his fortune by simply working with a
will.
QUEEN VIcToR1A's children stand in
great awe of their regal mamma. No
wonder = she is SO much great awe than
they.
ALWAYS pay as you CO." said an old
man to hisnephew. "But, uncle, suppose
I have nothing to pay with?" "Then
don't CO."
DO TRY and talk little common
sense, said young lady to her visitor.
"Ah, but wouldn't that be taking an
unfair advantage of you?"
WHAT swindlers there are in college
business! An institution in this State
which claims to fit young men for the
ministry doesn't own a single crouuet
set.
WHosoEvER shall smite thee on thv
right cheek, turn to him the other Also
is a biblical expression. In modern
parlance it is termed "a reversible
cuff"
1t seems that competition has forced
the price of false teeth down SO low that
it isn't really worth body's while to
cut his natural ones.-Burlinuto,
HoWE-Eye.
SCENE: Bridal reception. Several of
the guests, after shaking hands with the
bride, and all speaking at the same
time: "Where is the bridegroom
Bride, naively-" he's upstairs
watching the wedding presents"
ONCE more my eager, searching eyes
sight of thee hath gladdened;
Once more thou bring'st best surprise
TO him thine absence saddened
Too long thy peari-whits hand hath pressed
That Of some other feller,
Come let ne clasp thee to my breast
My loved and lost umbrella
ALL women are naturally afraid of a
COW. Madam" said the oleomargarine
deaiar, when she uttered shrek at dis |
covering that it was bogus butter she |
WIS handing, ''madam, you needn't be
alarmed. The cow it was made from is
100 dead to hut you.
L.T Oh City boy was recently taken to
tie O. era house by his uncle. a few
uyenl,.ss subsequently there was com
p.D.y :,s Ills house, and the uncle ana
,,',la wore among the number. The lad
Aas relating what he saw, and among |
u5iser things said: ''I was little bit
a,icGid, coz every time the curtain rolled |
down uncle went out to see man, and |
left Inc alone"
"PAPA," said an inquisitive boy,
81 this morning the dominic prayed for
more rain, and this afternoon Deacon
Bixby prayed for dry weather to get his
hay in. Now, if the Lord loves the
deacon and the dominic just the same,
what do you suppose He'll do about it ?"
" Ny son, answered the old gentleman,
sterniy, "whenever you want 10 ask
foolish questions, go to your mother;
don't come to me-"
IMPORTANT TO PIANISTS.
IHnA oc q c11rcrino1