Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-12-20


Over in ST. Paul met & man with
eyes OF cadet blue and a terra Gotta
nose. His eyes were not only peculiar
in shape. but while one seemed to con-
stantly probe the future, the other was
apparently rausacking the dreamy past.
While one rambled among the glorious
possibilities Of the remote yet golden Ill
timately, the other sought the sombcr
DEPTHS of the previously.
He tod me that years ago he had q
mild case of strabismus and chat both
eyes seemed to glare down his nose till
he rot restless aud had them operated
on Those were the DAYS when they
used to fasteu - crochet nook under the
internal rectus muscle and cut it q little
with pair of optical leep shears. the
effect OF this course was to allow the
eye to drift back TO q direct line, but
this man fell into the hands OF q drunk
en- surgeon who cut the muscle too
much and thereby weakened it so that
it gradually swung past the point il
ought to have stopped ut and he saw
with horror that his eye WAS going to
turn out and protrude rs il were so that
a man could hang his hat on it. The
other followed suit and the two oros
that had for years looked along tho
bridge of the terra Gotta nose, gradually
separated, and while one looked toward
next Christmas with fond anucipations,
the other loved to inger over the re-
membranes of last fall.
This thing continued till he had to
peer into the future with his off eye
closed and vice versa.
1t is needless to say that he hungered
for the blood OF that physician and sur
geon He tried to lay violent hands on
him and wipe up the ground with him
aud wear him out across % telegraph
pole. But the authorities always pre-
vented the administration Of swift and
awful justice.
Time passed on till one night the alb
normally wall-eyed man lOosened .
board in the sidewalk up town so that
the physician and surgeon caught his
foot in it and caused an oblique fracture
of the scapula, pied his dura mater,
busted his cornucopia and wrecked his
Sarahbellum.
Perhaps | am in error rs to some q
these medical terms and their orthC-
graphy. but that is about the way the
man with the divergent orbs told it tc
me.
The physician and surgeon was quite
g ruin. lie had to wear clapboards OF
himself for months, and there were 9th
err doctors and laudable pus and threat
ened gangreue and doctors bills with
the cemetery looming up in the neal
future. Day after day be took bis OWL
Ruti-febriie drinks and rammed his bust.
ed system full Of iron md strychninc
/ and beef tea and dover powders and
1 hypodermic squirt till he wished lac
| could die. but death would not come
He paved the air and howled. They
! fed him his own nuxvomica, tincture oil
1 rhubarb and phosphates and Cruel ano
/ brought him back to life with q crooked
collar bone. q shattered shoulder BLADE
and look of woe.
Then he sued the town for 5000,
/ damages because the sidewalk was I'M
perfect, and the wild-eyed man with tht
indamed nose got on the jury.
( l will not explain how it was done
! but there was verdict for defendan
with costs on the Esculapian wreck =
/ The man with the crooked vision IS moi
handsome. but be is very happy. IL,
SAYS the mills Of the gods grind slowly
but they pulyerizo middling Gne.- b5.
J Asy-