Morris tribune., 1883-02-01

He had on an oil-skin hat fastened under
the ~ellin,~anal~-hisun abbsFu eVenssat- but-'
toned up to the throat. noticed also
that his sleeves were fastened at
wrists with rubber bands. asfa t.ss.Lg
"Why, Deacon" said, what in the
wide world is the natter Has it begun
TO snow, or are you going tosa tireW& ?
He made no reply, but beckoned me
to follow him into the kitchen, Then |
saw he had the matter reduced TO what
the newspapers would call a fine point
On the kitchen table stood large wash
tub, tilted up on one edge, and beside it
were arranged two glasses and dozen
bottles of cider. . ''.'' '.-' .s
Deacon" | remarked "do you think
| am going to drink a half gallon Of, n
Now, inst wait" said the deacon,
"mebbe You wont get as much as you
want" With that he grasped one of the
bottles, held its neck down into the tub,
expected shell to explode in his near
neighborhood, twisted the wire that
held the cork. The shock made me
start and catch my breath. The cider
seemed to turn summersault in getting
into that washtub. When the deacon
lifted his face toward me helooked as it
he had been rescuing somc body from
the breakers. All the cider that didn't
remain in the tub was clinging to his
gray whiskers and eyebrows and drip
ping from the edges of his old storm
hat. When he turned the bottle upside
down over the glass there wasn't enough
cider left to cover the bottom. Twelve
times did that old man go through that
terrible experience, and when he turned
triumphantly from the last heroic effort
he had the appearance of an omnibus
driver on asleety night. About ten bot
ties and a half of that cider was in the
washtub, on the kitchen furniture and
over the deacon. The rest had been
captured. .r. t.a'
That's mighty good cider, Parson,
when you can catch it" he said, as he
mopped his face with the kitchen towel
and took off his waterproof. "But, Par
son, don't you ever put raisins in your
cider to keep it sweet? 1t don't hurt the
cider; but a fellow don't want to chase
q bottle of cider around wash tub like
a Young colt in ten-acre pasture. There's
a little too much excitement IN the fun.
Besides, Parson' he said, drawing lit
lie closer and speaking In q low, conf
dental tone, ~ don't mind telling you,
but that cider keeps me awake nights.
| don't know what to do with it. There's
about six dozen bottles in the cellar, and
the family all dread the place as if it was
filled with torpedoes or with a lot OF
those internal machines that wind up
like an eight-day clock. Why, Parson,
it's perfectly awful! My wife went in
there on Tuesday to get wash-board,
and one of these old cidar bottles blew
its whole head off just because she
brushed it with. her frock. You can
hear EN- burst in the dead of night.
[ don't dare to breathe hard when
Pm among those bottles. It's like fell
low plantinga colony offspring guns IN his
melon-patch, and then forgetting where
they are. Ifyou go past the door in
hurry you'll hear spiteful pop and
fz like soda fountain in a fit of insan-
itv. | don't want any more Ohio cider.
It's good enough, but there's too much
anxiety about it. I'd rather take care
of twins than another barrel of it. Hank!
do You hear that? That's the kind of
sharp-shooting they do all the time!
There's another one! When [ go in
there l cover my face with the lid of
that old wash.boiler, and sneak around
on tiptoe as If l was burglar. We're
afraid to take the bottle out all at once
for dread of a general explosion! I'd
rather sleep with pint of nitro-glycer
inc! look cheerful, Parsou but its I'M
dermining my constitution! Must you
go? | won't ask you 20 take any more
cider, because I can't go through that
tidal wave oftener than once day.
Hes- that! They're fearfully stirred Cf.
tonight. Well, goodnight. You needn't
speak of this foolishness, Parson. What
ever YOU do, don't put raiSinS in your
cider" .....
"Ah! said the Parson, there's the
bell; it's time for evening lecture"