Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-01
The VICTIM OF A VIRTUE.
BY JAMES PAYN.

[ am one of those persons, envied for
three months in the year and pitied for
nine, who olive a little way" out of
London. In the summer, our residence
is a charming one; the garden especially
is delightful and attracts troops of Lon
don friends They are not only always
willing to dine with us, but drop in of
their own motion and sta7 for the last
tram to town. The vague observation
"any fine day." Or the mora evasive
phtase "some fine day." used IN COM
piimentary invitations, are then very
dangerous for us to employ, for we are
taken at our word, just as though we
meant it. This would be very crafty
ing, however expensive, if it only hap
pened all the year round. But from
October TO June nobody comes near us.
In reply to our modest invitations we
then receive such expressions OF tender
regret as would convince the most skep-
teal 8 a previous engagement, Gin
disposition OF our youngest born, "the
horses IL, some catastrophe OF other.
always prevents our friends from enjoy
ing another evening with us L" like that
charming one they spent last July"
They hope, however, to be given the
same happy chance again, "when the
weather Is little less inciement," by
" they mean next summer. as for
CO ing to dine with us in winter, they
VIII see rs further firstly which they
mean nearer first. Sometimes at their
own boards We hear this stated, though
OF course without any intentional appli-
cation. Some guests will observe TO us.
aprOpOs of dinners, cit is most extra
ordinary how people who live half a
dozen miles out OF town will attempt to
Ignore the seaaons and expect us 10 go
and dine with them, just as if it was
August, through four feet Of snow. It
does really seein-as Jones, our excellent
host, was saying the other day the very
height OF personal conceit."
As we have occupied our present resi-
dence FOR some years, We have long had
the concei5 taken out OF US but we have
still our feelings. Our social toes are
not absolutely frost bitten, and when
thus trodden upon, We are aware OF the
circumstance. It grieves Us to know
what Jones has thought (and said) Of us,
and my wife drops quiet tear or two dur
ing our drive home in the brougham. I
am bound to confess it is rather a long
ride. [ ind myself dropping asleep be-
fore we have left brick and mortar be-
hind us, and as We cross the great COM
mon near our home feel a considerable
chap@a in the temperature It is a
heaaf El, breezy spot, with a lovely
vieW II simmer time; the playground
OF riIo butterfly and the place of the bee;
brf IL the winter it is cold enough.
l. the daytime there is nobody there
a. I'll. In the evening, at uncertain in
teE,ais, there is the patrol. In the old
t.ri,s it used to be favorite haunt of
the Knights OF the Road; during whose
go. IL, by-the-by, / should fancy that
sh">- Nh0 lived i'll the locality found it
ven more difficult to collect their friends
"Gnd them than now. It has still q
|;a3 name tor tramps and vagabonds,
winch makes my wlfe little nervous
when the days begin TO Fdraw IN" and
our visitors 10 draw OFF. Size insists
Hpon my going over the house before
retiring 10 rest every ,jigilt ,,nd making
n airport OF "AlI's we'll" Be ng myself
nor much over tive feer high in my boots,
AND considerably less III my slippers On
wEich [ am wont 10 make these pere-
grinatiOns), it has often suggested itself
coIs to leave the burglars 20 do Their
wo,s5, rs regards the plate and things,
any not risk what is ITO ne) much more
TshuGbie. OF course [ could hold the
lives Of half dozen men n my hand )"
d quotation from my favorite author
by merely arming myself with
a loaded revolver; but the simple
fact is, am SO unski!led in the use
G
eau be called such) that I should be
gust as likely 20 begin with shooting
number one Chat is myselD as number
tWn, the first ruffian." Never will
ingly, my dear, says 1 to Julia Twill
1 shed the life blood of any human
being. and least Of all my own" On
the other hand, as L believe in the force
OF imagination, [ always carry, OH these
expeditions, in the pocket of my dress
ing gown, a child's pistol-belonging to
or i1fant, Edward John-which looks
hk.' a real one. and would, am per-
suadtd, have all the effect of a real one
III my hands without the effect of per-
SOn:I peri. "MiSerab ruifianS, had
maize up my mind to say when coming
npon the gang, "your lives are in my
power," (here exhibit the pistols butt,
bHt OFT of perhaps mistaken elem
ency viii only shoot one of you, the
one that is the last 10 leave my house. I
shall count six, Tor sixteen, according
to the number OF the gang), land then
fire" Upon which they would, I cal
cUiato,l, all s!le.ls Id. helterpater to
Jhe 90 = they go5 in at. which l should
lock al.d double-iock after them. You
may ask, "why dolble-lock?' but you
will get no satisfactory repiy. I know
no more what TO " doihle lock" 1neans