Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-09-07
BORROWED WIT,

| nv isAtSSt NIiIlhlc Ill CullS Is CAUSED
by the heat.
The turn of the "tied'-startins
homeward after the wedding trip.
A notable event is a picnic where
one must sit on the ground to eat.
Il fill this cup to one made up-'
as the man remarked when he toasted
the ancient belle.
Never propose to Il girl in writing.
1t is present company" that is ''al
ways accepted"
Is a circus canvas show case
Up with the lark-its feathers.
strawberry shot cake" is what the
mar with the dyspepsia calls it.
Tie bootblack shines while he
works, but the lazy man whincs while
he shirks.
Coleridge My eyes makes pic
lures when they are shut" They
cannot be sea views.
The poultry farmer and the car
riage maker know how to make a
coop pay.
An Ohio farmer has named one of
his hogs Maud, because she comes
into the garden SO much.
What should a man be called who
takes the place Of another in a brass
band? A substitoot.
What costume ought to remind a
lady of her washerwoman! Why,
her lawn dress, to be sure.
He who dreamed that he dwelt in
marble "hauls' must have gone to
sleep in a quarry.
If you are naturally vealy young
man, all the colleges in the world
can't make more than calf man of
you.
"The boy stood on the burning
deck" He had probably been sent
on an errand and told to hurry back.
Strange, that after the many great
strains of music, it never suffers from
soreness.
How can SO many butchers be
small men, despite the fact that
everybody knows butchers stall'
They most enjoy the world who
least admire This does hot refer to
the young lady who looks in the
glass.
The boys who go in swimming after
Sunday-school probably do SO under
the impression that Cleanliness is
next to Goodness"
"All flesh is grass" and perhaps
this is the reason why the moving
machine occasionally chews up the
harvest hand.
Il is an old saying that the watched
spot never has a boil. That is the
reason why a man cannot see the
back part of his neck.
The chap who left his landlady in
the lurch being asked why he changed
his boarding place said it was on &C
count of the strong lowed her"
When little Edith cried because
the superfluous kittens had been
drowned, her unfeeling papa loosely
remarked that that was only a drop
in the bucket.
Female pugilists shonld wear
poke bonnets.-IN- Y. Commercial
Advertiser. Yes; and female poker
players should wear chip hats, We
suppose.
A Western style of scarf pin is in
the form of tree with a rope dang
ling from big branch. Ex. This
is undoubtedly another form CT the
lynch pin Pittsburgh Telegraph.
my wife's sister, out in Injanna, is
dead, and she's wearing mocrnin',
and she thought it'd be more apprO
pirate like to use black tea for awhile
now."- Marathon Independent.
The poet who wrote 1.-The child is
father of the man." was somewhat
disconnected when a practical friend
asked him how the case would be in
the event of the child being a girl.
Several cases of burglary have re-
Gently occurred at seaside resorts.
and the sojourners for the summer
now have the satisfaction of looking
out for breakers by night as we'll as
for day.
us your vessel your home." asked
lady addressing man-of-war's-
man. 'It is, ma'am," replied the
seaman, lin times of peace, but when
we're in close action we're only
boarders."
A New York darkey who furnished
blood for TRANSMISSION and so saved
the life of one Okenberg, who was at
deaths door, now sues for $3.50 dam
ages. A nice little bill to pay for
being re pulsed.
| There are a great many nameless
constituents going into the compost
ton Of oleomargarine, but one thing
at least, may be said to its honor: il
is no coward; it won't run even in
the hottest of weather.
Longfellow said, "In this world q
mar must be either anvil or hammer.
LongfellOw was wrong, however
Lots of men are neither active ham
mer nor the sturdy anvil They are
nothing but bellows.
| The Ocean Steamer The wrong
man: viii you be kind enough, sir
to intern me, sir, the location of No
41S" Take two turns and a hal
hitch, let 60 the weather main brace
clew up yer t. gallant stay sail, por
yer helm. and ask the man at th'
wheel" Thanks"