Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-07-23
BRIGHT BITS.

THE GOVERNMENT tolerates whisky
for revenue only. A number of govern
ment officers, however, are kindly dis
posed toward whisky for its own sake
Nelo Orleans PicdyuRe.
PAINFULLY throwing sand in the faces
of friends is a fayOrite pastime at the sea-
shore. The friends are often made blind
for life, but it is great fun-almOst as full
of delicate humOr as rocking boat.
THERE is no reason why man should
put his ugliness on dress parade; but it Is
always the hOmeliest man travelling who
walks back and forth through a long,
crowded train three or four times ON an
excursion trip,
IN a great daily's sanctum: Foreman;
''Here are the proofs Of the London, Paris,
COnstantinOple and Dublin letters" Ed
itor; "Well, leave them here. Our Lon
don, Paris, ConstantinOple and Dublin
correspondent has gone out TO lunch."-
Philadelphia Ne,es.
YOUR SISTER has a sweet mouth, Mr..
Brown" remarked Mrs. Smith. "Yes,"
added Henderson, anxious to say some
thing appropriate, "and such a large
mouth, too" Every mouth was shut i'm
mediately, and Henderson wished he
hadn't opened his.-BOStOR Transcript.
CHARLES said Mr.. Mundane, ''vou
cannot hope to succeed in the way you
are going. You should take advantage
OF your opportunities" Father" re-
piled the young man, his breast heaving
with emotion, 81 hope | am too much of a
gentleman to take advantage of any
thing"
WHEN A MAN sits down upon honey
bee, or the bee sits down upon the man,
the latter decent stop to think that the
insect has fourteen or fifteen thousand
cavities and about two hundred cones in
each antenna. He doesn't stop to do any
thing but jump around like mad-NOrriS-
torn Herald.
MALE GUEsT-'Pd like to be called at
four tomorrow morning; Pm going fish
ing" Female Domestic (stupidly -
"Ehgr Male Guest deliberately )-"Pm
going fishing tomorrow morning, and
wish to be called early-nOt later than
four" Female Domestic (stolidly y
''Will you ringP'-LQe,
DE MOS CORRUPT men is sometimes de
highest. De buzzard sails heap higher
den de partridge. De stricter de law, de
better de country. Oar amt no law dat
is too hard on good man. Folks what
say dat de worP is gittin wus is gittin
wus darselves. Oar neber was a time
when dar was as much happiness in de
worP as dar is at de present day.-Arkdn-
sd,C TrdUeI6r..
$50 you has done. left de Joneses?" re-
marked Matilda SNOWFALL to Eliza Pink
ston, as they met on ~Austin avenue.
''YOu bet leffed 'em. Dey cotched me
wild a dollar l found on de mantelpiece
and tuck it away from me, so / jes' quit
'em." "You is fool, niggah. wouldn't
have left till done got my dollar back.
White folks are so presumin' nowadays"
Teas SVtiRgS.
'WHAT makes you drink as you do?''
exclaimed Mrs. Higgleton, turning to her
husband, who steadied himself against
the door and surveyed his wife. "HuhW
II asked what makes you drink as you
do, that's what l said. Pm not going to
stay here, that's what Pm not going to
do" "What makes me drink as | do"
he repeated with an idiotic chuckle,
''Drink as do, cause there amt no other
way to drink. How do you expect man
to drink, anyhow. ArkdRSGlo IrdUetler.
ssOH. GOOD MORNING, my dear, I'm so
glad to see you; but you must excuse me
if l keep right on packing. We go to the
seaside this afternoon" 'The seaside!
oh. nv, how could your' eyes, the sea-
side, Cicely, dear. 1t is so charming, the
breeze is so bracing and 49," eyes, but
how bed-rabbled one looks at the seaside.
But then you always did look better with
your dresses limpsey lopsey." For some
reason there is a perfect Indifference on
the part Of those friends as to where each
other goes,-HarUord Post.