South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1883-10-05
SpG-T AND YIUsIOIx

industry and recreation, reduce scandal
10 It's lowest denomination, and mise
virtue TO its highest power.
Little Ambrose, son OF Major X. W.
Page, OF Salem, Va, had bearl peroons
talking nbou, coalition. white and black,
etc. a few days ago he fell down the
steps and broke his arm. Before the
bandages ware pu: on his arm il bad be.
como discolored by the bruised blood.
The little fellow. with tears streaming
down his face. appealed to- his fa,her:-
'Is it going to 10 a coalition arm p
TIMEs STAR.
BE jabors,' exclaimed an freshman
I've slept sixteen hours. wcat to
bed at eight and got up st eight
Masters away from home, sir.
Would you please leave your name 2
'Faix, and what should DO LAWN my
name for, bedad, when ho knows me
quito well?'
A darkey on the approach OF n storm,
was sent out to drive in drove of
mules, aud while he was out the light
ming struck & troo near him and be was
knocked tenseless. He WIS carried
home and restoratives applied.
We'll, jim said tho boss when he
opened bis eyes, do you feel better
nowp'
Yes, boss. 1 docs
1t was snarrow escape, jim.
Il Epec it was, boss; but didn't,
have no idea da! was so close TO dat
mules heels. l oughter knowed dat
You can't trust q mule nohow.'
Just before Easter. eggs wero very
costly at Steubenvillc, Ohio. y boy
named Johnnie had heard his father
complaining about the high price OF
eggs About that time the class Of
which he was a member was Gale /
upon to give definitions. Said the
teacher:
'Tommic, name something very
high
Tao big trees OF California; said
Tommy.
And you namo something, Jimmy,
The Himalaya mountains answered
Jimmy,
And you. Willie Jones.'
Tho clouds in tue far.away sky tri-
umphantly replied Willie.
And you Johnnie.
Eggs said Johnnie;' and tho class
laughed for the rest of the recitation.
An English servant girl who had re-
turned from tho United States to visit
her friends at home. was told that she
looked really 'aristocratic.' To which
she responded: Yes; in America we
all belong TO the hire class.'
PROOF OF WIsDoM.-A child, while
walking through an art gallery with
her mother, was attracted by statue
Of Minerva.
who is that p said she.
My child, that is Minerva, the god
dess of wisdom
why, didn't they make her husband
too p
Because she hal mono, my child
That was because che was wise.
wasn't it, mamma P was tho artless
reply.
live-ycar-old, who went to school
for tho first time, came homo and said
to has mother: Mamma, don't think
mat teacher knows much why not,
my dear ? Why. she kept asking ques
tions all the time. She asked where
the Mississippi river was
Some time ago rich old man who
was dying, sent for the editor Of his pa.
per. The editor knew that the old MN
bad no relatives aud fondly unused, rs he
went along, over the probability of
large Inheritance. I'm glad you've
come SAID the old man in deathly
whisper. Come closer The editor
approached. you know that 1 have
worked hard and that have earned
every cent have got. Some time ago
you remember, subscribed for your pa
per for six months. There is lust one
more number for me, and as am DIVING
and can't wait till your next issuo comes
out, just give mo nickle and well call
IL squar.'-Ex.
a good old Quaker lady, after listen
ing TO the extravagant yarn of q per-
son as long as her patience would al
low, said to him: Friend, what a pity
it is a sin to lie, wher IL seems so nee.
cssary 10 your happiness