The Baltimore County union., 1883-03-03
PEoK's BAD BOY.

al was over TO the dairy fair at the
exhibition building Saturday night"
said the bad boy to the groceryman,
"and when they were breaking up, me
and my chum helped to carry boxes OF
cheese and firkins Of butter, and cheese
man gave each of us piece oflimberger
cheese, wrapped up in tin.foil. Sunday
morning opened my piece, and il
made me tired. o, il was the offullest
smell ever heard Of. II was just like
an old hack number funeral. Pa and
ina were just getting ready to go to
church, and cut of piece Of cheese
and put il in the inside of pas vest,
and put another in the lining of mas
mun, and they went TO church. went
down to church, too, and sat on back
seat with my chum, looking just rs pious
as though was taking up collection.
The church was pretty warm, and by
the time they got up to sing the first
hymn pas cheese began to smell amaich
against mas cheese. Pa held one side
of the hymn book and ma held the
other, and pa he always sings for all
that is out and when he braced himself
and sang "Just as am" ma thought
pas voice was tincturcd with bilious
ness and she looked at him and hunched
him, told him to stop singing and breathe
through his nose, cause his breath was
enough to stop 4 clock. Pa stopped
singing and turned around kind Of cross
towards ma, and then he smellcd mas
cheese, and he turned his head the
other way and said 'whcw, and they
didn't sing, but they looked a, each
other as though they smelled frowSy.
When they sat down they sat as far apart
As they could get, and pa sat next to
woman who used to be 4 nurse in 4
hospital, and when She smcllci pas
cheese She looked 4, him a. though She
thought he had the smallpox, and she
held her handkerchicftohc her nose. The
u.an in the other end OF the pew, that
ina sat near, he was 4 stranger from
Racine, who belongs to our church, and
he looked AZ ma sort OF queer, and after
the minister prayed ana they got mp to
sing again, the man took his hat and
went out. Well, sir, before the sermon
was over everybody in tie church had
their handkerchief, 10 their noses, and
when the minister got over MS sermon
and wiped the perspiration of hi face.
he said he would like to have the
trustees ofthc church stay after meeting,
as ;herc was business OF importance to
transact He said the question ofproper
ventilation and sewerage for the church
would be brough; up. and that he pre-
sumed the congregation had noticed
this morning that the church was uGu-
sually full OF sewcrgaS. He said he was
a meek and humble follower OF the Lamb,
and was willing to cas-, his lot wherever
the blessed Master decided, but he
would b. blessed if he would preach
any longer in church that smelled
like 4 bonc-hoiling establishments
Every body looked 4; everybody else.
and pa looked at ma aS though he
knew where the sewer gas came from,
and ma looked at pl real mad, and me
and my chum liz out, and went home
and distributed my cheese all around.
/ put slice in mas bureau drawer.
down under the clothes, and 4 piece in
the soap dish, and a slice in the album
on the parlor table, and a piece in the
/ library in book. and wen, to the
dining room and put some under the
table, and dropped 4 piece under the
range in the kitchen. tell YOU the
house was loaded. Ma came home from
church first, and when | asked where
pa was, she said She hoped lie had gone
around i block 10 air himself. Pl came
home 10 dinner, and when he got 4
smell OF the house he opened all the
doors. and ma put comfortable around
her shoulders and told pa he was a dis
\ grace 10 civilization. She tried to get
| pa TO drink some Carbolic acid. pa f.
nally convinced ma that il was the house
that smelicd SO, as we'll AS the church,
and all afternoon they went visiting,
and this morning pa went down TO the
health Office and got the Inspector of
nuisances TO come up to the house. and
when he smelled around a spell he said
there was dead rats in the main sewer
pipe, and they sent for plumbers, and
ma went out TO 4 neighbor's TO borrow
some fresh air, and when the plumbers
began to dig up the floor in the base
ment came over heIc. If they find
any of that limberger cheese it will go
hard with me. Bu; guess will go
over 10 the house AMI stand in the
back door and listen to the mocking
bird. you see me come flying on,
of the alley with my ooat.tail full OF
boots YOU can he, they have discovered
the sewer gas.