Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-10-10
Wednesday Whatnots.

you're about as near fool as you can pos
sibly be, YEAST" exclaimed Crimsonbeak. becom-
ing excited. while he and his neighbor were
talking politics the other morning.
eyes, Mr.. Crimsonbeak. fully realize that I
am altogether too near one to suit me. Iguess I
will move on. Good morning. "-Yonkers States
man.
"Humph! selfmade man, is hep" reioined
Mrs. Yeast, who had evidently had some expe-
rience with the gentleman in question; "well all
I've got to say is that.hes mighty poor work.
man!"-Yoskers Statesman.
"All things come to him who waits" sadly re-
marked tramp who lodged a brckbat and
shutfied over fence just in time to escape the
eager jaws Of blear-eyed bull dOa-Neao York
Commercial Advertiser.
Victor Hugo is said to have sleek, soft fingers
with small conical tips Victor may never ex-
pect to become first-class waiter, for we never
saw one yet who was satisfied with small tips"
-YOrakerS Statesman.
When Fogg was asked regarding the latest
additions to the English language, he said he
would ask his wife. She always has the last
wOrd.-Boston Transcript.
horse baked with man in Buffalo the
other day, and he sat there in his buggy nine
hours before the animal moved on. He was
house painter working by the day. and would
have put in another hour If necessary.-Detrou
Free Press.
The Harvard "annex" for women is eminently
successful. Two ladies out of a class of five have
become engaged to their teachers, and another
is permitting the young professor to swing on
her fathers gate.-Chacdgo Inter- Ocean.
81 tell you" said the bad boy confidently: to
a group Of youthful friends, ''iny mother NAV
seem small-dOnt believe she'd weigh more
than do, in her stocking feet-but her slippers
is heavy, though. you bet!'-Lo,ceu Citizen
An enterprising exchange has the following
item: "a dog killed woman near SCOTS hill
ON Sunday: Further particulars next week.
Hartford Post
Alaska girls have trick of cutting button
holes in their upper lips. But no Alaska man
has yet had the nerve to sew q button on his
wifes lower lp.-Boston Post
Philadelphia ladies are learning base ball: one
of them has caught her husband out several times
NATURALIZATION Commercial Bulletin.
Mrs. Mary Mapes Dodge makes 81, 600 a year
by her pen. man In Cincinnati who hasn't
enough education to write doggerel poetry
makes q cool million from his pen, but it's hog
pen.
The New Hampshire republicans didn't an
ticipate an increase ofthe territory of their state
but still they expect to own Pixies speak this
winter.
There is not always honor among thiefs A
society reporter is something OF q pirate him.
self; yet he frequently attacks private ears.
A hardened scamp who appeared before one
Of the judges recently. was asked:
"What ia your prOfession2"
II have no profession"
"Well, but what are your means of existence?"
II live at the expense Of my reputation!"-
French Fun.
''The belted halcyon laughs" saws Maurice
Thompson, the poet, land the wren comes
twittering from his bushy den" The 'belted
halcyon'' is probably champion, and laughs
| because he has the belt.-Ne,o Orleans Picau1ne.
At an entertainment held recently in London.
| it Is said that the Princess of Wales wore the
plainest dress of any Of the ladies present. She
displayed excellent good sense It doesn't look
we'll for wife to be sloshing around in fine
| clothe swith her husband $4,000, 600 in debt
! Rochester Post-EIpress.
| At some of the Western fairs this yeara s'great
secret" is sold in sealed envelopes at ten cents
apiece. The following is the secret: "Never
| buy an article before examining it,
Parents in Tennessee are very kind. They
| move all the s0Ats out of the best room where
| the daughter visits with her lover. except one
large and comfortable rocking chair-Chicago
Journal
There are sea captains who profess to believe
that sharks will not touch human being, but
when asked to give poor shark a chance they
retire on their dignity. --DesY0it Free Press.
| Traveller to enterprising citizen: lyon have
| put up fine building here JUS torable"
81 think it first rate. It's credit to the town"
IA what?"
"a credit to the town."
| Not by blamed sight! We paid every dollar
In clean cash. "-Dtarer Intes. Ocean.