Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-02-07
Didn't Want Advice From strangers.

Ine afternoon OF THANKSGIVING udy WIS
of that dreary, haZy, nonpareil character
when the sffiuent glnries of soft Italian
rain were slowly fading into the autumnal
tints of blue norther that came streaking
down from the bald SUBMITS of the Rocky
Mountains, and cast Its chilling shadows
on the shingle roof of the City Hotel at
Brenham, Texas. Our scene opens In
this famous hostelry.
Five solitary drummers were lying
around the stove, and IN picturesque
groups. hut IN obedience TO The natural
instinct all drummers seem 10 have to
impart a fictitious expansion TO the
truth. They had been lying so much IN
professional capacity that 1t was treat
to them 10 have a little go as you please
lying match with each other On general
principles. The subjects under discus
SION, or rather under prevaricatiOn, were
fishing, hunting and field sports gener-
ally. They told such fearful lies that the
very stove turned red, which stove they
had surrounded as completely as if 1t
was country merchant who needed
goods.
The Youngest commercial emisssrv in
the delegation was q youth named Lew
jacobson, who was ralding on T,xas in
the interest of Baltimore house in the
boot, shoe and clothing line He did
not Join the conversation, and there was
really no reason for him to do so, as
the sacred cause of truth was suffering
abundant mutilatlon as were. at the hands
of the other inquisitOrs. The reason
Levi jacobson did not volunteer TO help
was because there were other topics IN
which he cou d do better. II they had
talked about the drama, or of female
loneliness he would not have been found
without something to say, for was he not
critic and master of the mashers?
He prlded himself on being one Of the
knowing ones; but having lived all his
life in ciiles or on the road he was some
what lost when the talk was of quail,
trout, deer, and of the rival merits of
choke bore, centre fire, 10-calibre, etc,
ETC, etc
Snjpe We're mentioned, and some one
made an allusion to that hackneyed Ole
practical joke about catching snipe in a
sack, never surprising for a moment that
there was any one alive on earth who did
not know the joke. jacobson, however,
was ignorant, as he demonstrated by Ie-
marking that 'rhcse snipe must be stupid,
like that ostrich was, 10 put their head in
"a bag
Ii was nuts to the other drummers to
find at last ''the most innocent man on the
road"
a snipe hunt was at once proposed, Mr..
jacobson to take the leading role and
carry the sack and the lantern.
They went out about three miles from
town in hack at y O'Clock at night, across
creeks, through woods ana swamps, until
they came to what the driver SAID was
good snipe ground, jacobson was placed
IN path with lantern in one hand and
the sack ia the other The rest OF the
party were to scatter out for some distance,
and then to gradually close In and return
back to jacobson, driving the srlpe before
them. The leading man in the company
was instructed how TO Kill the snIpe when
he captured the full of the bag, and how
TO set his trap and wait for more. Then
the other drummers went bowling out INTO
the darkness IN pursuit OF snlpe.
Mr. jacobson walled
Holding the sack made his arms acfe.
Bullfrogs crOaked.
jacobson continued 10 wait.
Owls hOoted.
The night grew on apace and found
jacobson still waiting for the snIpe to
come out Of The darkness.
1t was midnight.
- NrVU -HNrf rfa-rr
drummers were gathered. Tney were
full of mirth and gayety, and they
laughed loud and long.
Suddenly the laugh died away on their
lips, the merry joke was chopped of in its
utterance and an unripe pun was hastily
thrown under the stove by the long
legged drummer, fer there in the door,
way stood a ragged and mud stained
remnant al that was mortal OF Jacob
son, the snipe huDter.
He said: My vrends, you thought dot
was good joke, but vas acquainted
With dot joke sefen years ago. l stayed
out With dot bag there just TO see If you
was 50 mean as to blay dose tricks on a
stranger, and | wants nOdiRgs more to
do With you"
He refused al overtures looking to-
ward a reconciliation, and went TO bed
swearing be would leave the place on
the next days evening tram. de stayed
IN his room all of the next morning. The
joke got over town. hlr. Moses Solo
mons, a leading merchant of the piece,
thought II was decidedly wrong to have
treated jacobson so badly. and called to
make his acquaintance and extend his
81 mpathies.
When he was admitted to Blr. j. s
room the latter said:
'Yat you wants? Guess you would like
to go bear-hunting With me and flour
sack; or do you want 20 have some fun
diving jack-rabbits into a mosquito net,
eh3"
Mr.. Solomons explained that he hed
heard that the boys had treated MIR. jacob
son rather roughly. and tina, he had threat
e1ed TO leave the city without showing his
samples. BE merely called, he said, to
say that the citizens should not be blamed,
and to advise that Mr.. j should change
his intenlIoR and prosecute his business as
II nothing had happened.
Il don't want any advice from strangers.
[ vas treated paddy in this town, and
leaves it right away. There vas no shen-
tIemsns in this blsce.
MIR. Solomons has great deal OF PRIDE
in the social and finansnciai standing o.
the people of Brenham
When Mr. jacobson was dragged fIom
under Mr.. Solomons it was found neces-
ssry to adjust his scattered Aorahamic
countsnance with about yard OF court
plaster. he Is now travelling in Western
louisiana, and he tells the merchants with
whom he does business that he was run
over by a hand-car on the Central Railroad.
! Two Quarts l Guess,