The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-03-15
ALL SOR rs.


roads.
\ good way to ''raise the wind Is by
means OF draft
Train a dog to skate and you'd only
make slip pup of it.
Figures may not lie but some accounts
will not stand examination.
"Mnrier will out" That, we suppose
is because blood will tell.
If u peacock had the power of speech
what tale he could unfol
The longer a man lives the more he
knows-that he don't know much.
See the conquering zero comes; heat
the soapstone, pound your thumbs.
A man in Plattsburg, N. Y, is named
Constant Agony. He is married man.
1t is estimated that next year the
Spanish surplus will be 125, 100000
pesetas.
When so-called silk burns well there's
cotton in it. Real silk shoulders into
an ash.
Of two evils choose the least, but Of
two goods take both, if you can get
them.
The diversions of some men consist IN
diverting public moneys to wrong pur-
poses.
However slangy our rOwdies may be
they never ask policeman to give Us
arrest
4 young man msy be very rich stu
dent and at the same time very poor
scholar.
Historical research developes the fact
that Christopher Columbus was an Ohio
man.
Make home pleasant and you drive a
a nail into the coffin Of wretchedness
every day.
Hospitals are expensive structures;
one can't be built without having sick
stories to it.
Personal item: A western editor speaks
of Herbert Spencer as a Thinker from
Thinkville."
In the hands of small boy entirely
fiendish, the pin is mightier than tho
swear it causes.
What poem does barking your shin re-
mind you Of? Craze L g, of course
Bos. Com. Bulletin.
When the government wants a build
ing site it takes sight of money 20 secure
tn, o, Picayune.
4 New Jersey man has patented stovs
| that explodes at 10 o'clock at night. He
has four daughters.
"Yes," said the actor to his brother
Thespian, who had sworn off, you'll
stick; you always doH
When the shoemaker opened boil
with his awl, he remarked to his wife,
Calls we'll that ends swell
One of Wales's sons is to be a clergy
man. Probably the Prince wishes his
son to become prime minister.
A New York man declined a challenge
to duel, because he didn't want 10 be
seen in company with the challenger.
Contentment is better than riches, and
bread is better than butter, but most
persons prefer to take them both to-
gether.
The Ballad of the Last Hare. ls the
name Of new book. 1t should have a
scQuel-"The Ballad of the Hair Re
stoger.
Flu. extract OF elephant foot is one
of the new drugs, and the first counter
felt of it will probably come from Chi
cdgo.
Ii landlords expect patronage they
must stop talking about ''tire-proof
hotels. People are getting afraid of
them.
Henry Ward Beecher doesn't believe
in corners, but he has not so far lapsed
from Orthodoxy as to give up his belief
in futures.
\ fultgrown ostrich is worth 5000
With persons of limited means the canary
will still continue to be the favorite
feathered pet.
Non compos: Il see that Smith is put
in nomination. Is he non partisan?"
mo, not exactly; think they call him
non compos.
For every 130 human beings in Swift
erland there is a saloon. This Is the first
intimaton that Switzerland was settled
by Kentuckians.
The Pittsburgh glass houses are run
ming full time, preparing to supply the
coming demand for diamond pins from
the seaside hotel clerks
After the clergyman had united
happy pair not long ago, IAN awful silence
ensued. which was broken by an I'M
patient youth exclaiming, Don't be so
unspeakably happy
A Cambridge correspondent points out
that, in foot note in Leland's Clip
sizes, MASKING" is said to be word of
gypsy origin. mashava meaning fascina-
tioa by the eye, or taking in.
In Julis's eyes: Il live in Jullas
NJ.