Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-05-16
PLEASANTRiES,


fore the circus poster.
1HE cold weather OF last winter has
evidently killed the crop of spring poets.
A BAsE-BALLIsT is known by the scent
OF arnlca that hangs about him.-N. 7.
Com.
WIGG1Ns Will lecture. This conpels us
to believe that there is no balm in Gilead.
IN. Y. Com.
CORRECTIONS in a Maine paper: In
the poem printed last week, gummed"
should have been g gemmed."
ALMOST everything is overdrawn when
1t is made bigger than it is, but it isn't
SO with a bank account. Post.
NOTHING like being well up In arith-
metlc. a Vassar College girl has gone
into half mourning for half brother.
AS proof that One touch of nature
makes the whole world kim" observe
how friendly strangers become at a dog
fight.
JEEMs says his boarding house is too
slow. He told the old lady yesterday
That hereafter he'd like to dynamite
earlier. -H0rJord Journal.
The New Orleans Picayune. with
tW1tch1ng countenance, gives its middle
an uneasy hitch and remarks that many
a gay-colored pad hides q sad heart
"THE best thing I ever readr ex-
claimed a book-reviewer, as he perused
his uncle's will and found that the sensi-
bic lamented had left him snug be-
quest.
JUST what a meteor is has always been
uncertain, but the great one which fell
IN Texas few Sundays ago has been
carefully examined and found to be a
hoax -LoaOeU Courier.
Few lawyers, says an English writer,
have ever been invested WITH the Order
OF the Garter. This shows that that
kind of garter was not intended for the
climbs of the law. "-Bo8tora Globe.
WHAT with the wickedness of Cincin-
matt, che bad whisky of ST. Louis and
the general cussedness of Chicago, we
don't wonder that "young LochinVer
has come out OF the west. ~. Y. Com.
REMENYI has found a twelve-year-old
girl IN Texas whom he pronounces the
greatest violinist America ever produced,
This may be great compliment to the
girl, or a great slur on American violin
lists.
"MEN should always be graceful, .
says DR.. Armltage, and the doctor viii
please rise up and explain how man is
to be graceful when he steps on a
banana peel while carrying a basket of
eggs.
HOLMES New York dinner poem was
telegraphed west the other night, and
the line: "Therefore [ scent the
breathing courtesy" was printed,
1" Therefore [ scent the breathing cook
cry"
DID you ever shake hands with pretty
girl about 20 years of age. who, instead
of letting her hand lie IN yours ike
sick fish, give you a good, hearty grasp?
If you have, you know what solid COM
fort is.
"HELLo, what brought you out
here % said Boston man to fresh ar
rival from the east In Kansas City the
other day. 'FWell, 1 heard that amateur
theatricals were almost unknown here,
and I've come to stay"
They were speaking of a young lady
who sings beautifully, says the Harlem
Times, and one of the party asked is she
a mezzo soprano? No, I guess not. I
think she is a Swede, was the innocent
reply OF high school girl.
Rev. DIR. NEWMAN says: ''Voting is
just as sacred duty as prayer" He is
quite right, but he did not observe that
some men vote good many more times
than they pray in the course of a year,
remarks the Lowell Citizen.
IT is said that the pope seeks relaxa-
ton IN the composition Of Latin poems.
That's what many Of us were compelled
to do when we were boys, but we didn't
consider it relaxation by stupen-
dous superfuity.-N. Y. Com.
Mr.. SwINBURNE has written poem
on the death of Richard Wagner. The
amount of damages the great composers
heirs will sue for is not stated; it is be-
lieved that it VIII not be less than 81, 000,-
900, anyhow. N0rr68t01OH Herald.
A PITTsBURG preacher asserted that
was q greatly overrated man.
Somebody should present that clergy
many with copy of the immortal bards
works and spell out the hard words for
him.-NeaO York Commercial .Adger-
ti8er.
A LADY in Louisville sued reporter
for publishing that she hailed him and
asked after the welfare of his soul. She
would feel ashamed to have
published her absurd mistake In suppos
ing that Louisville reporter has soul.
Boston Post.
AS7OO sexton fell from high scaf6old-
ing in ST. Peters Cathedral, Cincinnati,
Easter Sunday, and dropped right
Bhrough $685. 900 painting by Murillo.
The painting was ruined. None of the
local papers state what became of the
sexton.-Bahr. HaUE.
ssDoN'T you find, Mr.. Robinson, that
;hese-a--these rehearsals interfere with
your duties at the office 90 Amateur
Juvenile Lead" (blandly)-sNo, sir,
lot at all; but I find the duties of the Of
ice interfere great deal with my rehear-
'als. London Judy.
6 So FAR as the choice of death is
concerned" said DR.. Collyer, in his
Sunday sermon, ''we are all like the
Door fellow who preferred to be hung