The Portland daily press., 1883-01-31
THE PRESS.
Wit and Wisdom.

IL l. O-11AkOkOa
Wit and Wisdom.
Sleight OF and-Refusing an offer of mar
riage-Philadelphia Chronicle Herald
II move" said delegate to Virginia con-
vention, "that our chairman take dose of DIR.
Bulls Cough Syrup he is SO hoarse that cam
not understand him" That gentleman had
no doubt tried this wonderful medicine
They were talking about the Frizzle girls
and the efforts they made to keep up with the
fashion with very little cash help from their
parents. "Why," said one of the gossips
Fannie Frizze actually paints dinner-cards
for money. Isn't it awfulP'-New York Mail
and Express.
Horsford's Acid Phosphatein Debility.
DIR. w. II. HOLCOMBE, New Orleans La
says; II found it an admirable remedy for de-
bilitated state Ct the system, produced by the
wear and tear of the nervous energies"
When writer has ideas for which there is
Nv no NAY Gb excused IOf using q 1Or-
eign language.-New Orleans Picayune.
Ayers Sarsaparilla, being highly ooncen-
trated, requires smaller dose, and is more eff
fective dose for dose, than any other blood
medicine. 1t is the cheapest because the best
Quality and not quantity should be considered.
Little Instruction: "What, give a prize
to your son? He persists in doing nothing!"
"Well, give him the prize of perseverance,
then!"-Paris Paper.
1t is seldom that you will feel unwell Or suf-
fer from indigestion if You use Browns Iron
Bitters
When man gets high he is considered low
fellow. Motto for temperance organization !:
"Who enters here leaves hops behind. "-Bcs-
ton Courier.
The Hop Pldsters have wonderful sale, and
why! Because they cure Back Ache, Stiff
Joints, Pain in the Side and all Soreness in
any part. People appreciate them. Any drug
gist, % cts.
woman may do many questionable things
during her lifetime, but when it comes to her
wedding she always stands up for the rite
Yonkers Statesman.
Rescue with Hales Honey of Horehound
and Tar, before the baby Strangles with Group.
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in enc minute.
A country debating society is nerving itself
up to wrestle with the question, "When a
woman and a mouse meet. which is the most
frightened?"-Oi City Derrick.
The great sale of Swedish Remedies is aston
ishing, and for enrchipg the blood, creating
an appetite, or strengthening the whole system
nothing can surpass these remedies
A philosopher informs us that a bonnet is no
longer bonnet when it becomes pretty wo-
man. And the inference is that woman is
no longer a woman when she becomes q
"poke. "-Yonkers Statesman.
Group, Diphtheria and Whooping Cough
get prompt relief and rapid cure by the use of
Kurakoff, the wonderful Pine remedy
A Hartford girl, pursued by ferocious dog,
turned and faced the animal coursgeously and
the brute turned tail and fed. And yet she
wonders why the young men seem shy about
offering to marry her.-Louisville Courier
Journal
Kurakoff, the lung healer, and great Pine
remedy contains neither opiates nor narcotics
Free samples to actual sufferers. Guppy Kins-
man & Alden, Portland, Me.
Once upon time tenor went to the genial
and gentle critic Darthenay, and said indig-
nsntly, "Oh, come now, 1 say, what makes
you SO hard on a fellow" $50 hard on your
gasped the stupeied critic. eyes," retorted
the singer. "Here you write, Very few ten
.-.ars have ever equalled him, not even Nouritt
or Duprez.' Damme, sir, L never was
equalled by anybody.-Translated from the
French