The Hawaiian gazette., 1883-10-24
3aluaiiaa q azettr.
WEDNESDAY,, OCTOBER "a. 1888
Flirtinc hon.

"Had 4 funeral in our house yesterday,
said the boy, as he took pickle out Of the
tub and M, It into the cats mouth and shut
her teeth together on it, and then went 10 the
show case, while the grocery man, whose back
had been turned during the pickle exercise;
thought by the way the cat jumped into the
dried apple barrel and begun to paw and
scratch with all four of her feet, and yowl,
taat she was going to have a fit.
u hadn't heard about 1t" said the grocery
man. as he took the cat by the neck and tossed
her out in the back shed into an old oyster box
full of sawdust, with parting injunction that
if she was going to have fit she better go
out where there was plenty OF fresh air.
Death is always bad thing TO contemplate.
One day we are full OF health and joy and cold
victuals, and the next we are screwed IN box,
few words are said over our remains, and
few tears are shed, and there is race 10 see
who shall get back FROM the cemetery first,
and though we may think we are an important
factor in the worlds progress, aid sometimes
feel as though it would be unable to put up
margins and have TO stop the deal, the world
goes right along, and it must annoy people
who die, 10 realize that they don't count Tor
game. The greatest man IN the world IS only
a nine spo: when he is dead, because some
body else takes the tricks the dead man ought
to have taken. But say, who is dead at your
house?"
"Our rooster. Take care, don't you hit me
with that canvassed han" said the boy, as the
grocery man looked mad to learn that there
was nobody dead but rooster, when he had
preached such sermon on the subject. Yes,
how soon we are forgotten when we are gone.
Now, you would have thought that ROSTERS
hen would have remained faithful to him Tor a
week at least l have watched them all the
Spring, aud never saw more perfect picture
OF devotion than that between that bantam
rooster and his hen They were constantly
together, and there was nothing too good for
her. He would dig up angle-worms and call
her, and When she came up on gallop and
saw the great big worm on the ground she
would look SO proud of her rooster, aud he
would straighten up and look as though lie
was saving to her, I'm daisy, and then size
would look at him as if she would like 10 bite
| him, and Just as she was going to pick up the
worm he would snatch it and swallow It him
self. and chuckle and walk around and be full
| of business, as though wondering why she
didn't take the worm after he had dug 1t for
her. and the hen would look disappointed at
| frst. and then she would look resigned, as
much as TO say: Worms are to rich for my
blood anyway, and the poor dear rooster needs
them more than do, because he has to do all
| the GROWING aud she would 90 off and find a
grasshopper and eat it on the sly for fear he
would see her and complain because she didn
| divide. o, l have never seen anything that
seemed to me so human as the relations be-
| TWEEN that rooster and hen. He seemed to Try
! to do everything for her. He would make her
stop cackling when she laid an egg, and he
would try to cackle and crow over 1t as though
be had laid it, and she would get off in a cor
ner and cluck in modest and retiring manner
as though she wished to convey the iGea TO
the servant girls in the kitchen that the zoos
ter had to do all the hard work and she was
only a useless appendage, fit only for society
and company for him,
But was disguised with him when the poor
hen was setting. The first week that she sat
on tue eggs he seemed to get along first rate,
because he had q couple of hower-beds to dig
up, which press OF business mad caused him
TO neglect before, and couple of neighbors'
gardens to destroy, so he seemed TO be glad 10
have his hen retire to her boudoir and set; but
after he had been shoo-ed out of the garden
and fiower-beds he seemed to be nervous, and
evidently wanted TO be petted, and would go
near the hen, and she would tell him to go and
| take a walk around the block, because she
hadn't time to leave her business, and if she
didn't attend TO it they would have lot OF
spoiled eggs on their hands, and no family TO
bring w. He would scold and seem TO tell
her that it was all foolishness; that for his
part he didn't want to hear lot of chickens
souaking around. He would seem to argue
with her that brood of chickens would be a
dead give-away on them both, and they would
at once be classed as old folks, while if they
were alone in the world they would be Spring
chickens, and could go in young society, but
the hen would scold back and tell him lie ought
20 be ashamed of himself TO talk that way, and
| he would 20 off mad, and sulk around spell,
and then 20 to a neighbOr's hen-house, and
sometimes lie wouldn't come back till the next
day, The hen would be sorry size had spoken
SO cross, and would seem panied at his going
away, and would look anxiously for his return,
and when he came back; after being out in the
rain all night, she would be solicitous after his
health, and tell him he ought TO wrap seme-
thing around him, but he acted as though lie
didn't care for health, and he would go GU;
again and get chilled through. Finally the
hen came off the nest with ten chickens, and
the rooster seemed very proud, aud When a, y
body came out to look at them he would crow
and seemed to say they were all his chickens
though the hen was long time Matching them,
and if it had been him tia; was setting on them
he would have Matched them out in week oil
died trying But the exposure told on him.
and lie went into decline, and one morning
we found him dead Do you know | never
seen hen that seemed 10 realize calamity
as she did. She looked pale, and her eyes
looked red, and she seemed to be utterly
crushed. If the chickens, which were so young
they could not realize they were little orphans,
became noisy, and got TO pulling and hauling
over worm, and conducted themselves in an
unseemIy manner, she would talk to them in
hen language with tears in her eyes, and ii
was a picture of woe. But the next day q
neighboring rooster got to looking through the
fence from the alley and trying to firt with
her. At first sue was indignant and seemed
to tell him he ought 10 go about his bushes
and leave her alone, but the dude kept cluck-
ing, and pretty the widowed hen edged
up toward the fence and asked him TO come in,
but the hole in the fence too small for him,
and then the chickens went out into the alley
and the hen followed them out. shall always
think she told the chickens to 20 out, so she
would have an excuse to 60 after them and
fiirt with t. rooster, and / think it perfect
shame She is out in the alley half the time,
and could cuff her. 1t seems to me wrong
to so soon forget deceased rooster; but sup
pose a hen can't be any more than human.
Say, you don't want 10 buy good dead roos
ter, do you? You could pick it and sell it to
somebody that owes you, for Spring chick
en-"
No. 1 don't want any deceased poultry
that died of grief, and youhad better 90 home
and watch your hen OF you will be bereaved
some more, and the grocery man went ont il
the shed to see if the cat was over its fit, and
when he came back the boy was gone, aud
after while the grocery man saw crowd il
front Of the store, and lie went out and fouuC
the dead rooster lying on the vegetable stand
with paper pinned on its breast, on which
was sign; This ruster dide of colix. Fo
sale cheap to boarding house only He tool
the dead rooster and threw it out into th'
street, and looked up and down the street fo
the bad boy, and went in and hid a rawhid'
where he could reach it handy.-Peel's So,
A Jewel of Servant.
A gentleman in Austin has new servant
and the other day he undertook to coach hin
in regard to certain creditors who invariably
bounded him the first Of each month with ag-
gravating bills.
I