The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-04-05
WIT And HuroR
A fine mantle maeistrate.

BLOOD will TELL" but its cory gush
| circuiates ia vein.
A well-rsgulated air-pump never suf-
fers from exhaustion.
Store porters ought to make stalwart
| pugilists for they are all boxers.
The man who lends his influence
generally expects big interest ON the
loan.
The fash young woman is like a
! potato because she is SO easily and SO
| often mashed.
A hermit who dug himself hole in q
hill for house said he lived in bored
| in house.
"Why is young man like a kernel
of corng" asked young lady. BE
cause" said another, ''he turns white
when ne pops"
The proves of the mule grows apace.
A skillful kicking hybrid in Indiana
kicked two men at one ''go," and Sc
riously injured both.
The astronomers are discussing the
great red spot on the face of Jupiter.
None of them seem to think it may be
cArbuncle.
Does the man at the telephone hear
the real voice of the party at the other
end of the string, or is it a sort of hello
cinationp P. S.-Answer by telephone.
Jay Gould will start soon on two
years trip around the world. If he likes
the looks of the terrestrial ball he may
buy it.
A lover may be publicly described as
man who, in his anxiety to obtain
! possession of another, has lost possession
of himself.
water is beginning to reach some of
the higher levels in the Rams
| dell Before Breakfast" Good Lordy!
How didit taste to you?
An exploring exchange declares:
This country spends eighty thousand
This eye-doll-atry is little girlish.
The railroad authorities put up the
signs "keep off the railroad track" and
90 right ahead doing all they can to Sc
cure passengers. DO they want people
to travel on a steamboat?
Moscow will furnish some 10000
beers to celebrate the coronation of the
Car. The nihilists may not set up quite
so many biers, but there will be good
| deal more ''body" to them.
The compilation of the baseball
schedule is said to require as much fig
| uring as the compilation of nautical
almanac. This reminds us that people
always work hardest when they play.
Lime Kiln philosophy - "Gem' len,
it am de nose attached to de emptiest
head which makes de moas sound when
| you blow it. Let your life consist OF
| ackshuns instead of reverberashuns.
The late styles of wall paper are so
gorgeous that family can no longer
take comfort wearing out old boots and
| split-back vests around the house.
away on visit.
A man ordered a five-cent plate OF
hash in cheap restaurant, and Sneezed
| violently just before devouring it. He
explained his conduct by saying that the
hash SO forcibly suggested a ''cat-chew"
that he couldn't help sneezing.
A correspondent wants to know why
so much valuable time should be wasted
| in looking for Number One" when in
either division of the city far more
| deadly assassins can easily be found
the clearinghouse keepers.
The diamonds worn by New York
bartenders are said to be worth $780,
900. The Philadelphia NeWs remarks
that the carbuncles worn on the
noses of New York bar patrons probably
cost about SIS, 900.
mo, sir,'' she said, with emphasis on
the sir, my husband won't be can.
didate for the legislature next year. He
has learned more deviltry during the
| few weeks he has been in Boston than
ever before in all his born days"
A lady of experience observes that
| good way to pick out a husband is to see
how patiently the man waits for dinner
| when it is behind time. Her husband
remarks that good way to pick out
wife is to see whether the woman has
dinner ready in time.
In Wisconsin town where roller
skating is one of the most popular of
| amusements, the young people have
petitioned the proprietors of the rink to
| pad the floor of the hall. The popularity
| of the amusement must be much greater
than the skill with which it is practiced.
A series of experiments on muscular
pressure at John Hopkins University
| shows that small ladies shake hands
with more vigor than large, and the
pressure of men is to that of women as
| is to 5. This is believed to extend to
| kissing.
A Chicago genius makes beautiful
jellies from pumpkin and apple and
banana Feelings, and just as soon as he
can make corn-cob pass for dough-
nut he will have accomplished all that
| can be asked of one man, says the De-
troit Free Press.
An impatient Kentucky coroner did
not wait to examine the body of the man
whom he supposed to be dead, but inn
| mediately impaneled jury and began
proceedings which came to sudden end
when the corpse sat up and said: MAY
| it please your Honor, feel that have
a right to voice in these proceedings"
A Michigan justice who held four in
quests over the jawbone of cow and
| concluded that it must have belonged to
woman who had disappeared ten years
| before must be related to the Chicago
justice who kept on hand and on ice the
| DOdy OF an INFANT upon whom he used TO
| inquest whenever other ''stiffs'' were
| scarce.
A lady with fatal squint came once
to fashionable artist for her portrait.
| He looked at her and she looked at him,
| and both were embarrassed. He spoke
first. Wouldn't your ladyship permit
| me-" he said, ito take the portrait in
profile2 There is acertain shyness about
one of your ladyship's eyes which is as
difficult in art as it is fascinating in
| nature"
The Norwich Comm Bulletin says
that cut-glass paper-weight in the
window of store in that city concen-
trated the rays of the sun so efectually,
that a sheet Of heavy cardboard was g.
nited by it.
Oscar Wilde, since his return to Lon
don, is reported to have said and writ