Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-05-06
CHlT-CHAT.

y sweet ditto: SANDY was u country
gardener, and like many other country
lads he had sweetheart. One night
Sandy told her that he "liker' her
lawful weel." She simply responded
ditto" Sandy was not very sure what
that meant, but he thought he would
ask his father; so the next day, while
at work, he said: Father, can you
tell " hat ditto is" "Ou, ay, sandy"
replied his father. "Dae We see that
cabbage?r "Ies." "And dae ye see
that ither ane, that its jst the same?'
Eyes" "Weel, that's ditto" "Graci.
Gus goodness ~ exclaimed Sandy. "Did
she call me n cabbage head"'
The "course OF true love" traced by
letters In a breach Of promise suit in
New York ran in this manner: "My
darling Benny" "My own darling
BENNY "My own dearest darling"
Your loving Baby" "lour own loving
Pet" "My own darling Love-" "My
darling Ben" "Friend Ben" And all
was over.
ooh, dear. am tired out" exclaim.
cd Mrs. Shoppingham ;"you can't have
parcels sent to the depot now without
paying. you know, and in an economi-
cal fit I've been Juggling this all about
the city" And with a sigh Of relief
she took spool Of cotton out OF her
pocket and deposited in OIL the table.
"This is fine time of night to come
home, and you just married, said Mrs.
Davis indignantly looking ut the clock,
which had just told the midnight hour.
"My dear" replied her husband pom.
der0usly, II decline to be interviewed
on the subject Of politics"
as anybody waiting on YOU" said
polite dry goods clerk to a young lady
from the country. "Ies, sir" replied
the blushing damsel; that's my fellow
outside; he wouldn't come in the
| store"
"What is a woman" asks an ex.
change. IL is-well, We suppose she IL q
combination Of dynamite and mule, for
she looks as innocent as a mule and
talks like dynamite when she is mad.
Ncs," said the mother of a
daughter, al shall stop Mr.. Tommy's
calling without any trouble or unpleas.
antntss. ] shall merely ask him to stop
to dinner and then invite him 10
carve"
i like your new hat very much"
he said. ats chic; there's sort OF
abandon" "There isn't any sort OF
hand on it," she said, pouting. "Ips 4
real ostrich feather.
"No," said New York belle who
had just returned from tour of Europe
and Egypt. NO, ] didn't 20 to the Red
sea. Red, you know. doesn't agree
with my complexion"
Tleg girls have taken 10 making patch.
work quilt. Now it Is to be hoped that
| the piano will be shut, and that We
will have peace, as well as pieces, in
| the house.
A debating society will tackle the
question: (Which is the most fun-to
zee man try to thread a needle or a
woman to try TO drive a nail?'
MAY see you home, Matilda 80
asked a verdant Of his lady-love at a
prayer meeting. 81 guess 30, Joshua
but cant you see me here"
"Will you accept my arm, miss%'
asked the abide camp. "TO be sure"
was her reply; "it's favorite staff offer
| sir"
| t"HiI IuSt - iotttIy, Dul We nave
heard THAT love letters are denied the
privilege Of the mail.
Adams frst wife must hove been
the Eve Of suicide when she ate Of the
forbidden fruit.
He spent $50 on his daughters arr
tuition, and then she couldn't draw q
conclusion.
Don't you think the bride Is foolish
that she never marries the best manf
Men make horse. shoes, but women
excel In making men shoes.
| Why was Eve made? Made FOL
Adams Express Company.
What is house without Q baby
Well, comparatively quiet.
Dublin ought to be . good place fol
twins.