Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1883-07-21
YOsEmITE's REGISTER.
How Two Vain Fools Sought Noto-
riety and Immortality.
The Wise, the Funny, and the
Foolish Things that are Writ
ten in the Visitors Book.
'.Ruhanah,, IN elobe.psmoor.t.

''Ruhsmah" in Globe Democrat.
Pedestrians and equestrians alike
all turn 20 the bath house on these
warm afternoons, and down By the
meadows there is a luxuriant estsb~
lishnent where everything, even to
| arnica, court plaster and buttons are
y provided for weary humanity. Cons
nected with the bath house is q bar
and billiard room, the whole estab
lishment presided over by an aesthetic
soul named Utter. In the corner of
the bar is giant register book weigh
ing over 100 pounds, and thousands
of visitors, including Mr.. and Mrs.
Rutherford B. Hayes, have signed
their names in the midst of such in
temperate surroundings. Among the
first to enter his name in this great
book was Count Alexis de. Perwinoff,
OF Moscow, better known to us as the
Grand Duke. The noble Russian ex
presses himself alter this manner in
the column Of remarks: Il can dare
say that, during all my young
life, never had any better bath than
at this place. Our Russian friends will
find that it beats every one of our
bathing accommodations, and for the
liquor there would be too little place
in this small page to describe" Any
number OF funny and common place
remarks are scattered through the
book, and, strange to discover, no Wis.
itor has yet fallen back on Lord Byron
to help him out with his opinion of
the scenery. The bent is toward He.
brew poetry, and half of the psalms
may be found in scattered verses
through the book. President Garfield
wrote: mo one can thoughtfully
study this valley and its surround
ings without being predetermined
thereafter" and the hero
worshiping crowds affect to find some.
thing very grand and profound in this
prim, copy-book sentence. The Gar,
field autograph was written May Is,
1875 but last summer two vain fools
came along and interlined their cog
nomens of Sohramm and Winkler on
either side of James A. Garfield"
They sought notoriety and immortal
ity, and they have it; as every one
who reads vents their opinion of these
two vandals respectively from Mentor
and Congress, in the State of Ohio.
Superlatives and exclamation points
are chief 10 the column OF remarks.
One man growls, another swears, and
hundreds sound the praises Of the
Yosemite cobblers," the mountain
GERS" the Bridal Veil juleps," aud
the "El Captain cocktails" that are
dispensed from the high counteracross
the room. A man from Sydney, Aus
tralia, wrote: II find America the dirti
est country of theworld and wish most
earnestly that | was safely back in my
native land" An Irishman follows
him with, The Americans wash once
month, by their own confession" A
native inscribes himself with this:
"The view from oh Myl Point is
grand because it is chap" Jack Hark-
away writes;
Yosemite / love theei but
Thou RI sad dsceiver,
For when reached the valley
had the chills and fever.
The Rev. Joseph Cook, who made
himself much disliked 10 the valley,
wrote what he calls his Yosemite
Doxology':
The hills Of God support the skies;
To God let alteration rise,
Let hillsa skleB and heavenly host
Praise PATTERSON and Holy Ghost.
Many funnier things used to be
written in the visitors books, "befo'
the wah," as they might say in the
South, and in Mr.. Hutchings' regis
tiers, which date from 1859, innumer-
able quips are found. One thing that
| remember is the solemn sereed OF
two Bostonians. One donkey took
the old quill pen and wrote; Il this
day name the heights to the right of
the Yosemite Falls 'Nevins Heights,
in honor of my father, David Nevins, |
of Boston, Mass" His companion
followed with another: II this day
pane the heights to the left of the |
Yosemite Falls Millions Heights in
honor of my father, Thomas Slocum
Milton, of Boston, Mass" After
them came a genius who seized the
pen and wrote;
Ye gods. to think such Witless Wights
Should with such names damn noble heights.
Although the heights are not yet
generally known as Nevins' and Mil
toms Heights, a regiment of people
have laughed over the flial dedica
tons, and spplauded the rhymer who
| followed them.