davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1883-12-13

sample Of any Kind q Tea -pnt 10 ans al
ON rrcrlpt of lOc.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26
Another Great Tunnel.

The boring of the tunnel through
Mount Arlberg has just been complet-
ed. This work ranks with the Mont
Gents and Mont St. Gothard as among
the great engineering fcats of the age.
The object of this new line of travel
is to shorten the distance between
Western Austria and Eastern Switzer-
land. The total estimated cost is So
$4,000. The boring commenced on
the Austrian side in June, 1880, and
on the Swiss side in the following
September. This work shows how
engineering has advanced. In the
Mont Gents tunnel a year was con-
sumed in cutting through 1857 feet.
st. Gothard was bored at the rate of
5,474 feet, while the Arlberg was
pierced at the rate of 1880 feet year.
Then the recent work was done at
much cheaper rate. The Mont Gents
tunnel cost $4,000 per running metre
-394 inches-while the Arlberg tun-
mel cost only 500 per metre. The
traffic through this tunnel is expected
to be immense. The double track
railway will be kept constantly en-
ployed. What marvels modern en-
gineering science is accomplishing.
The crossing of the Alps by Hannibal
and Napoleon with their armies were
almost regarded as miracles; but how
much more momentous is this piercing
of mountain chains, so as TO establish
swift and easy communication between
hitherto hostile nations. The poet
Cowper in his day lamented that in
terposing mountains ina de enemies
Of nations" which had else "like kim
dred drops been mingled into one"
But the mountain barriers are no
longer an obstacle keeping nations
apart. The engineer, as well as the
telegraph and the railway, is helping
to make all the world of one family.
-Demorest's Monthly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26
Particular About His News.

AS an elderly citizen was quietly
walking along Hillary street one even
ing, a man with disheveled hair, hat
in hand, turned the corner and ran
into him with the force of locomo-
tive. AS soon as the citizen had re-
covered his senses enough to know
that he looked ridiculous sitting
down on flag sidewalk, he arose and
glanced at the stranger, who was
apologetically twirling his hat in his
hands,
"What the great big dash do you
mean ?' emphatically inquired the cit
izen.
"Oh, beg pardon" answered the
stranger, in an agitated tone "but
didn't you hear the news2"
"The news ?" echoed the old gentle
man.
Eyes" replied the other. "a man
up street just told me that Denis
Kearney was dead"
"Who ?"
"Denis Kearney. Know him ?"
"Was he Emperor of Russia2"
"Oh, no"
"King of SpainH"
mo"
"England?"
"No, sir"
president of the United States !?
"No."
"King of the Sandwich Islandsf"
mo"
"Then who the mischief was he?"
"Why, Denis Kearney."
The aged citizen clenched his fist
and sent it from him. 1t landed on
the strangers nose, and the stranger
himself rolled out into the middle Of
the street.
There" |" circulated the old gentle
man. MAY be that'll teach you not
to interfere with a mans reveries
again. I'll be exaggeratedly elongat.
ed if / can afford to bother my mind
with the death Of anybody less than
the President"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

He was driving out of Plain6eld
the other day with such satisfied
look on his face that an acquaintance
hailed him with:
"Well, Uncle Billy, what's happen
ed ?"
"You know them five sons OF
mine?"
ooh, yes"
"Wall, they are allus buyin' and
sellin' and spectula.in', and not day
passes that some one of 'em don't ask
me to endorse his note"
"And of course you do ?"
mo. Them boys are rather shaky,
you know. But I'm going to after
this. Hang it, I'm their own father
you see, and it looks kinder mean tc
refuse 'em. I've been down here and
decided the farm to the woman, put O
chattel mortgage on the stock and
sold off most of the tools, and now il
the boys want my name on their notes
l can sit down and give it to ,em like
a Spartan father."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26
"The Smell Of it.v

An lrishman was recently installed
in q Boston oil store as a roller of
barrels and pumper of the slippery
fluid into casks and cans. He is apt
and bright, and has made himself use-
ful and familiar with the store and its
equipments, among other things, the
telephone. He is sometimes trust ted
to answer calls through that instru-
ment. Saturday morning Pat was
busy as usual, and for the moment
everybody else was absent, when
the telephone bell sounded. Pat
wiped his oily hands and took up the
sounder He soon got the name OF
the person desiring to speak with the
firm. A sample of certain number
and grade of fish oil was wanted
Pat stepped to the shelf and got a
phial, then back to the telephone and
shouted
"Here it is !"
"But send it over" came back
through the instrument 1--WE can't
tell whether it will suit us till we see
it,"
Here was u dilemma. Pat could
not leave the store to carry the sam
pie of oil over. But his ready Irish
wit was equal to the occasion. He
uncorked the bottle, held it up close
to the transmitter and shouted:
"And cant ye tell by the smell of
it PIX.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26
"Hard AlIw

Last Tuesday, while Eve of the
Pioneer Club six-oar crew were sit
ting in their shell and swearing vig-
orously at the non-appearance Of the
sixth man, who was half an hour late,
a well-dressed and modest young
stranger strolled into the boat-housc
and began inspecting the equipments
with great interest.
"I'll tell you what we'll do, fellows" {"
said the stroke. GAS No. A isn't COM
ing, suppose we coax the dude there
to take row and bust him all up"
The perpetration of this time-hon-
ored joke upon "softy" was received
with appreciation, and the newcomer
was, with grand show of hospitali-
|ty,- invited to take the vacant oar.
well, l don't know, gentlemen
said the young man, looking at his
watch, doubtfully.
"I'm stranger here. do need a
little exercise, though"
"Oh, get in," said No. 2, winking at
his companions, "a little spin will do
you good" and they finally persuad-
ed the victim of their kindly scheme
to take off his coat and assume club
cap.
"Now keep your eye on me, and
try to keep time" said the captain.
"You'll never, never make an oars
man unless you watch the stroke"
"I'll do the best / can, gentlemen"
said the guest, meekly. "Tm always
willing to improve"
The boat went down towards Hun
ters' Point couple of miles at an
easy, three-quarter stroke, the new
conner pulling away manfully with
the rest, and when they eased off to
turn back they were surprised to OBJ
serve that the stranger did not appear
to be quite so much blown as they ex-
pected.
"Now, then, young feller,' said the
stroke, with a grin, "try to keep up
with the procession. Hit her up, boys.
Hard all p
But, somehow, the stranger scratch
ed along with the rest, and, though
the pace was something like forty-six
as they passed Butchertown, the vic
tim serenely sawed away, and the
bowman even imagined that he splash
ed less than any oar in the boat.
When they finally drew up to the
float, and while the crew were painting
for wind, splitting cotton and wiping
their dripping faces, the passenger"
looked around, with childlike smile
upon his unfinished face, and softly
remarked
"Why didn't you squirt herr"
"Spurt! !" painted the stroke; "why
-er-what the-er-I say,
young feller, where did you come
from ?"
"From New York, gentleman re-
piled the stranger, modestly, as he
slipped ON his coat and started up the
wharf. "My name is Hanlan-Ed-
ward Hanlan--and l hope to see you
all at Vallejo on Thursday. Good
morning"
And since then all you have to do
to get fourteen stretchers fired at you,
is to stick your head in the Pioneer
Club house and yell: Hard ALP
San Francisco Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

Mr.. Tennyson ceased writing poe
try several years ago, and 10 a peer.
age is his reward. What lesson is
here for you, ye gentle poets of spring,
of passions-and waste paper baskets,
Chicago Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

"What will you think of your
beautiful wife twenty or thirty years
from now?-that is the question:" &C.
cording to Mgr. Capel. 1t is certain.
ly a hard one, especially if fellow
has not one now as basis for compu.
tation.-Graphic.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

The Chinese are badly in need of
gunboats, and it is possible that if we
move quickly we may be able to trade
our navy for a couple of genuine an
tique vases which will hold water if
they won't foat.-Philadelphia Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

A medical writer says that girls are
so constructed that they cannot jump.
If he is a respectable young man, let
him propose matrimony to one of the
girls, and he'll soon see her jump
at the offer.-Norristown Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

And as he cast his eyes around for
the colored lights of a court plaster
storehouse, the stranger regained his
senses, looked wildly around him, and
took two minute gait in an air line
for the Flatbush asylum.-Brooklyn
Eagle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

"What is the worst thing about
riches?" asked the Sunday school
teacher. "That they take unto them
selves wings and fly away" promptly
replied the boy at the foot of the
class.-Cincinnati Saturday Night.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

A wag tried TO annoy a popular
preacher by asking him whether the
fatted calf was male or female.
"Female, to be sure" was the reply ;
"for / see the malc"-looking the
questioner full in the face-"yet alive
in the flesh before me."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

Within three lines a corrcspon-
dent of the Providence Press spelled
liquor: "Lickor," "lickuor," alSi
"liqor." Evidently he can put
liquor to a great deal better use than
spelling it.-Philadelphia Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

Counterfeit silver dollars are float
ing about the city.-Hartford Times
Those that float are not good, o
course.-Philadelphia Record.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

AT Niagara Falls a young bride
was very much embarrassed when
hackman pointed to her husband
and said: "Do you want carriage
for your father, miss PIX.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

A young man in Central Illinois
lost six ounces of brain last week and
still lives. Brain is drug on the
market in this State.-Chicago News.
You have no use for them, ehf
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

"Have you brought your gimlet
with your Hush, Johnny" said
Mrs. Yerger. "Go to bed, sir" re-
marked Col. Yerger. "What do you
mean" asked Gus. 81 don't mean
muffin, except l heard pa say you
were coming up this evening to bore
us all."-Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

"What do you mean, Charles, by
staying so long' When you went
out you said you could 60 over to
Browns in ten minutes at the outside
and here you have been gone over
two hours" 81 said l could 60 over
there in ten minutes at the outside
and so l did. The two hours extra.
you know, spent inside. ."-Balti'
more Day.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

Candid sportsman-"Boy, you've
been at this whisky" Boy who has
brought the luncheon basket-"Na
The cooark wadna come ot."-Lon-
don Punch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

A goat ought to be first class ma
terial for oleomargarine. There is no
better butter than the goat.-Phila-
delphia Chronicle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

What with watering their stock and
making pools all along their lines
the railroads may some day become
navigable streams.-Chicago News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

Who says it is unhealthy to sleep
in feathersf Look at the spring
chicken, and see how tough it is. -.
Scientific American. y
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

A Yankee editor, observing that
"the census embraces 100000 WON
en-" asks: "Who wouldn't be cen.
Gus ?"-Portland Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

An unlucky person remarked, on
being asked what he cleared on GER
tain speculation, ''nothing but my
pockets. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

The pluckiest man of ancient times
was Tantalus-he never "took water.
The Judge.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

A false profit--money made by de-
ception.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

The knack Of foretelling the wealth
er-the almanac. Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26
WIT AND aUMoR.

A garden waul--a cat on the fence
-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26
NEW YORK, 1884.

About sixty million copies Of The Sun havo gone
out Of our establishment during the past twelve
months.
III you were 10 paste end to end all the columns Of
all The Suns printed and sold last year you would
get a continuous strip Of interesting information,
common sense wisdom, sound doctrine, and sane
wit long enough TO reach from Printing House
square 10 the top Of Mount Copernicus in the moon,
then back TO Printing House square, and then
thTee-qnarters Of the way back to the moon again.
earth this same strip OF itelligence would girdle
the globe twenty-seven or twenty-eight times.
past year has spent only one hour over il, and if
his vile his grandfather has spent another hour,
this newspaper in 1888 has afforded the human
and day.
1t is only by little calculations like these that you
can form any idea Of the circulation Of the most
popular OF American newspapers, of its influence
ON the opinions and actions Of American men and
women.
The Sun is, and will continue TO be- n newspaper
which tells the truth without fear Of consequences
which gets at the facts matter how much the
process costs, which presents the news Of all the
readable shape, which is working with all it's heart
for the cause OF honest government and which
therefore believes that the Republican party must
fY ISL. ana must 20 IN 'n' coming S'af Oh our iese
II you know The Sun, you like it e,ready, and
you will read il with accustomed diligence nd prof
during what is TO be the most interesting year
in its history. II you do not yet know The Sun il
is high time 10 got into the sunshine.
Terms To Mall Subscribers.
The several editions Of The sun asc sent by mall
postpaid as follows;
bAILY-so cents month, 90 year; with Sunday
edition, 81.
SUNDAY--Eight pages. This edition furnishes
the current news OF the World, special aticles of
exceptional interest to everybody, and literary re-
views OF new f6oks Of the highest merit ti
year.
wEEKLY-r year. Eight pages Of the best
Of the Daily issues an Agricultural De-
partment of unequalled value, special market re-
potts, and literary scientific, and domestic intel
lgence make The Weekly Sun the newspaper for
the farmers household. To clubs of ten with go,
an extra copy free.
Address, l. w. ENGLAND, Publisher,
The Sun, N. Y City.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

In contest over will, a certain
witness was giving his evidence as to
the disposition of the testator. "Was
he good natured man I" asked the
attorney. mot altogether" "Was
he cross, then'" "Well, yes, rather,
in places" "Was he very cross ?"
Considerably" "How cross was
he2 Give us an example of his dis
position" "Well, sir, he was that
cross that when he called up the cows
at milking time, it made the milk
sour" That's enough. Stand down"
Merchant Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26

"Mercy on me, Ethel, why are you
soaking your feet in ice water f"-
"You know, mamma, that we are 60
ing to Mrs. Nipnose's grand party
this evening" "But what has that
to do with it?' Everything. Sci
ence teaches that heat expands and
cold contracts. l am trying to con-
tract my feet SO that / can get on my
shoes. ."-Philadelphia Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-12-26
Advertising Rates.

business Cards. one year. dollar for every line.
Local Notices ten cents per line for each insertion,
su all notices continued FOR three months longer,
. discount Of per cont.
Advertisements unsecompaniedby By verbal or written
directions will be published three months.
Advertisements. under contract ordered Out 6s'
ic expiration Of time. will be charged full rates
No paper discontinued until all arrearages are paid
sscer, at the option Of the publisher.
Transient advertisements must be paid In advance.
OTerms CASH. payable quarterly.
Only Metal Cuts Inserted
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1883-03-08
The Regenerated Cowboy.
Laramie Boomerang .

Slowly but surely our cherished in
situations are melting away, and soon
the wild West will have taken upon it.
self the customs and peculiarities of
''the States" The latest is cowboy
without the five chambered Gatling gun
which usually hangs over the caboose
pocket, and hobs up and down as he
dashes by on his fiery, untamed broncho.
Strange as it may seem to the average
Eastern reader, and particularly the
Younger ones who have devoured any
great quantity of yellow-coyered litera-
ture, several Wyoming ranchmen have
disarmed their employees. A similar
movement among Texas stockmen is
said to be making considerable head
way. Several stockmen announced
that they would not employ anybody
who carried deadly weapon. 1t was
predicted that they would be compelled
to rescind this order, but the Stock
Journal says that they find no difficulty
in getting and keeping employees, and
that, as soon as the plan is put on trial
on adjoining ranches, cowboys will be
the strongest advocates.
The new departure may tickle the
stockmen and not be Objectionable to
the cowboy, but it knocks the romance
out of the latter observation-disclosures
him merely common, smoke tanned
person, rugged out in leather pants with
the seat cut out, white hat and jingling
spurs, who does nothing but chase
too,c o1-oy tho Mains Once LEFT this
custom become general and what will
be the result? No more will the festive
cowboy. loaded to the muzzle with
tarantula juice, caper up and down the
streets, yelling like Comanche, and
bidding defiance to the city marshal.
No more will he help out the coroner
bv shooting half dozen companions
in drunken TOW. No more will he
ride into a gin-mill, and, with his can
non pointed at diamond stud on the
barkeepers's shirt front, order up the
drinks for all hands, then shoot out
the lights and three or four spectators
gizzards. Disarm the cowboy? Take
lis pop from him and bring him down
to the level of common man? 1e
GODS. no! In the name OF lO,OOO,OOO
Eastern readers of fiction-no! Let
orr Young bloods wear skin-tlght pants
and Seymour coats; let fried shirts and
Daper collars become the rule, and not
the exception; let the electric light and
telephone plant themselves right IN our
midst. as they have already done, but
touch not the cowboy and his revolver
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1883-03-08
, EOmance i'm Brief.

Eighteen years ago Miss Jennie
Andrews and Mr.. Alexander McGreg-
or of Macon, Ca, were engaged to
be married. But they had a lovers.
tiff and separated. She married Mr.
Charles Ross and went to Texas, and
he married, it matters not whom. In
five years Ross died and the widow
returned to Macon, and after some
time married Mr.. Lavane. seven
wears later LavarIe was killed. In
the meantime McGregor had become
a widower. Within the past month
he CHANGED to meet in the street OF
Macon the sweetheart of eighteen
years ago, and, though they had not
met for years, the recognition was
mutual. The old flame was reklndled,
and on Sunday morning week the
Rev. J. W. Burke was called upon to
perform the CSTTiage ceremony.
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1883-03-08

SAN ANTONIO Express: The price of
cattle has advanced $50 per cent in the
last five years; it is now believed
the maximum has been reached. The
drive this year will be the last of
great magnitude. Hereafter the cattle
product will be sent to market by rail
or sail.
IL a divorce suit on trial in New
York, it was shown that the defedant paid
50 per week alimony, and then went to
the plaintiffs house and ate 81 worth OF
food weekly.
1t sounds little paradoxical to say
hat the man whose life Is insured
must die to recover, but it is neverthe-
less true.
CATTLE arc dumb beasts, but by get
ting together in large numbers they
make themselves herd
The Ottoman Empire Is supposed &c
be 80 called for being so frequently sal
upon.
one way to give a man "a chance e
rise in the world--KEOck him down.
The pecan worm Is the hole thin
in q nutshell"
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1883-03-08

mere several attempts We're made to
secure hotel accommodations for the
s9ferng man, but without success
de was finally taken to Bellevue hos.
pital, where he remained a couple Of
days, but as nothing could be done
for him there he was removed 10
Bloomingdale asylum. This was on
the afternoon of the 9Th inst. He
remained there until the 18th, late
IN the evening of which day he died,
having refused to partake of any food
and being unable to sleep. The
cause of death was certified by the
physicians who attended him to be
acute mania, complicated by pleuro.
pneumonia. His friends explain it
more simply by saying he died of a
broken heart.
FROM THE BLooNINGDALE RECORD.
Upon the Bloomingdale record
book is this minute: Exhausted by
the journey from Texas, while he was
in a highly maniacal condition, to-
gether with almost entire insomnia
lency and fasting. Although known
here only three days his death was
particularly regretted and much sym
pathy is felt for his bereaved father.
He is reported to have had a collegiate
education, to have been consistent
member of a Christian church sine he
was eighteen years of age, and to
have been an abstinent man in a
community in which drinking to ex-
cess is reported to largely prevail, to
have been an upright and prosperous
business man, agood citizen and ex-
emplary and faithful in the relations
of son, husband and father"
The body of the unfortunate man
was taken on Monday last to his
home. His father remained in this
city until last evening,
San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1883-03-08

"A "a Wpnot. life is sweeping by, go and
dare before you die, something
usN0 , to conquer time.' 500 week =.
your own town. s. outfit free No risk. Every.
you everything,- Many are making fortunes. La.
dies make AS much as men, and boys AMI girls
MAKE great pay. Reader, II You want business at
to H. HALLETT & Co., Portland. Me.