Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-10-27
THE WILD, WILD WEST.
How q Californian Poured Tales of
Horror in the Ears of an In.
curing Stranger.
TSan Francisco Post.1

| A we'll known fellow citizen, now prowlinS
not to say growing = through Europe,
writes us the following touching experience:
| | had been for about half an hour, he says,
| sitting on the deck of one of the miserable
little packets" that ply between Dover and
Calais and exasperating my fellow passengers
| by refusing to join in the carnival of sea-
sickness going on around me- when a ruddv-
faced, white-whiskered, bluff-looking indi-
vidual who had been cycling me for some
time stepped up and said:
beg pardon, Pm sure; but are you really
the Americana"
''The Americana" I replied; ''there are
several, believe"
ooh, of course, to be sure. meant the
one on board. saw George B. Blank, San
Francisco, California, u. S., painted on some
of the baggage, and I picked you out right
| away as the owner" And the stranger in
spected me from head to foot with as vivid a
curiosity as If I'd been a wild man Of the
woods.
"Well," I finally exclaimed ct am an
American. What can do for you?"
"Why-er-nothing- is-no offense, I
hope, and you are Californian, toogn he
said, rubbing his hands as though he had in
deed met rara avis. Ever scalped by the
lndiansF'
81 think not" replied.
you've scalped some of them, though,
haven't your persisted my inquisitor.
Concluding that inesmuch as was in for
being mads side-showof might as well in
dulge in some of the circus-poster sort Of
thing. looked my questioner calmly in the
eyes and replied: Some twenty six or seven,
T L. Al
handle Of my other scafping-knife; carry
only one bowie in this country. So seldom
one runs across any fun over here, you
known
"Killed many white meng' asked the
stranger, who appeared to be actually culver
ing with excitement and curiosity.
''Only eight or tent replied carelessly
s'You see, in California there is sort Of
close season now for shooting white men,
; Tain't like the good old rnan-for-breakfast
times. A fellow is only allowed to gun
around promiscuous like four months in the
year. So it's hard work to keep ones hand
in, don't you see."
"Well declared" said the apparently STU
pefed man with the chop whiskers: chow
about Chinamens"
ooh! we kill Cinnamon all the year round
when they're fat" explained. "But then
there is lately some sort of an ordinance max
ing it 1nisdemeanor to shoot q pigtail unless
he is on the shady side Of the street or gets in
your way. Folks are getting too Internally
particular over that, for q fact"
"Ever been divorced." finally said the
stranger, whose eyes were now sticking out
like pegs on hat-rack.
mine times, think" said ''In fact, I
intended to have been again when 1 passed
Chicago on my way over, but the train only
stopped eleven minutes and there wasn't time
enough to rush it through-takes twenty two
minutes, you know"
thought this had knocked him out, but
after few minutes bewildered cogitation he
returned to the charge once more.
CTS it really true that all Americans wear
chest protectors and eat nothing but piel"
'Well you see, the fact is that Americans
are, as you know, such frightful busy peo-
pie that they haven't time to sit down and
eat square meal like you English. They
must have eomething portable, something
they can carry about with them and nibble
on the sly. l tell you, sir, it looks like bust
ness when you see forty or fifty men all
hanging on to the straps Of a street car with
one hand and eating pie with the other.n
81 should rather think So" murmured the
stranger
Gas for the chest protectors" continued,
''they are really nothing more than pockets
suspended around the neck and large enough
to carry whole pie, which it keeps warm at
the same time. A good, hot mince pie
slowed away in this manner not only imparts
a gentle and grateful warmth to the entire
system, but keeps Il whole days rations al
ways within reach Of the wearer. Grand
idea, isn't it!'
''Well, I'm blesseI," said my fairly para
lyzed interrogation, gazing atnly childlike and
ingenious face with profound awe. "Would
-er-would you oblige me with one Of your
cards." he said. 81 want to show it to my
family, OR they'll never believe a word of
thiS-never. Thanks-here's mine"
As 1 stepped chuckling into my own com
partlnent I glanced at the card of the
stranger. 1t read: Julius L. Judbins, San
Francisco Cal"
have spent about eight hours day look
ing for that man ever since. There viii be
bloodshed out OF this yet-mark my words.
The Consumption, % Geld.
ID