The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-08-14
BREVlTY BASKET.
FILLED with Mention of Minor Events and
Funny Items.

ruled with Mention of Minor Events and
Funny Items.
Forever and forever farewell, Cassius. II
we do meet again, why we shall SMILE" said
Brutus and how pleasant 1t is TO contemplate
that +" age does not wither nor custom stale"
this delightful habit Of smiling" when friends
meet.-Liie.
81 will and bequeath," said Pat, "to my
beloved wife Bridget all my property without
reserve; to my oldest son Patrick one-half Of
the remainder; and to Dennis, my youngest
son, the rest, II anything is left it may 60 to
Terence o'Carty in Melbournel"
"I'm sorter 'spicious bout book sense
Real old boss sense is the kind to have,
an ef persons pot the boss sense he don't
need the book learnin', and ef he hain't got
the sense he can't take book larnin' to any
great shakes. "-Arkansaw Traveller.
1t was a Philadelphia girl who first revealed
that squeezing the hand enlarges the knuckles
and spoils the beauty Of that member. Per-
haps this explains why the girls invariably kiss
each other instead Of clasping the palms
They do it to preserve the beauty Of their
hands. The Diary
The Trenton IN. J editor who spoke
slightly of factory girls and their morals raised
n hornets nest, and the buzzing OF / 900 girls,
coupled with an elaborate display Of boycott
ting methods was so fearful that he had to
come and say that he wrote the offensive
article in hurry, and didn't mean it.
GentemaH--"TIow can you afford to sell
these rifles for SIS? They certainly can't be
good for much. They won't stand much SER
vice, will they2" Dealer-"They will stand
as long as the man who fires them; what more
do you WANT" Gentleman thinks "sure
enough" and goes of without a riAe.-Boston
Transcript.
An Apache Indian complained to the agent
that the people called him bad Indian. lie
said; "They said killed my mother. Yes
| did, but did ii because she was too old to
work. Then they say | killed my wife.
did that because she was too sick to work.
They talk about me killing my papoose.
Well did that, too, but II cried too much and
! couldn't sleep. I'm good Indian, not bad
Indian"
The way with woman-"Ise a gwine ter
quit you," said a colored man to his wife.
81 can't lib wild oman what am so untrue
ter me as ter let man kiss her." "Yerseli
needn't make moui about der matter. Didn't
| see yer wild yer arm round Sister Smith,
"Wall, now, II yer commences to compar
notes, wen let de subeck drap. OATS dc
way wild oman anyhow. She's alters saw
ing up suthin ter crush a man wild"
The Columbus (Ga.l Enquirer calls atten-
ton to the marvellous growth Of the South.
Thirty years ago, in the heyday Of slavery,
the total value of Southern crops of cotton,
tobacco, rice, hay, hemp and sugar cane was
$t3S,6oS,73S. The census report Of 1886
shows that Southern agricultural product;
/ were that year valued at $500, 900, 900. Furth-
ermore, the South is becoming rival Of the
North in cotton and other manufactures.
"You certainly play very WE'LL" said tn,
music teacher, encoaraeinglIy; "but you have
to practice four hours daily will make an ar
| fist of you in two years and only charge my
regular rates. BY the way, where do yol
lve!" "Rght next door; just got boarC
there" "Oh! ah! yes-I forgot to say tina
| your lingering is bad, and il is now too late t.
correct it. Take my advice and give up mu
sic altogether"