The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-10-04
WIT AND WISDOM.

ABsrAININa from food, il is said, WIN
cure rheumatism. If you have rhenms
tlsm go live in boarding house.
THERE is so much sand in the straw
nerf'os that are brought to market now
that they seem quite fit for the desert,
LOGIC is logic, and it does not follow
| that Noah brewed beer in the ark be.
cause the kangaroo went on board with
hops.
"YEs," said tho gilded youth, CT hate
to mako the sacrifice, but will. NV
tailor must wait for his money and she
gets tie bouquets"
THE City OF Houston, Tex, offered to
pay Ingersoll more to lecture one night
on infidelity than it pays single one Of
its ministers for years work.
SPEAKING of the avocation of the heav-
enly bodies, there is no doubt but
that the sun is tanner.-OH CITY Der
rick.
"WHY are these flats called trc non
Aats?" To distinguish them nom
American flats" "What are American
fats?" 1.-THE people that live in French
fats"
THE "gentle reader" is supposed to bs
one that doesn't get on his car and sweaR
Whenever the newspaper man is lucky
enough to get q full-page advertisement
Wheeling Leader.
"REMEMBER who you are talking to.
sir" said father to his fractious boy.
81 am your father" "Well, who's to
blame for that ?" asked young imperti.
nence "It amt me-"
THE meanest man we have heard OF
rhis season is the fellow who telegraphed
his sympathy to friend who had just
lost everything in speculation, and made
him pay for the message.
COMMERCIAL traveler-"My name Ia
Muller. I am agent for Schultze, In
Berlin" MISUNDERSTANDING in Ber-
lin? In that case must beg you TO
shut the door from the outside"
IT is worry small village indeed that
doesn't contain billiard champion OF
the United States. There are moro BID
lard champions in this country to-day
than there are billiard tables by long
chalk.
A NEGRO baby was born in Georgia
recently which weighed only q pound
and quarter, and "literary feller."
hearing Of the circumstance, remarked
that it was funny how anything 30 dark
could be 80 light.
The other day Paris lady abruptly
| entered her kitchen, and she saw the
] cook skimming the soup with silver
, spoon. She said to her, "Francoise,
expressly forbade you to uso silver In
the Kitchen" "But, madam, the spoon
| was dirty"
OUR contemporaries arc now making
the time-honorcd saying: "What is 80
rare as 4 day III June" There is some-
thing far more rare, and that is nh ade
vertiscr who does not want his notice Mt
the top of tie column and next to the
reading matter.
"THE last link is broken" the fellow
said when he kissed his girl good-by for
ever at her request, because her parents
wished dissolution. A few days later,
he received n note saying dear George:
There are plenty moro links; come and
break them"
EDIToR to city merchant: "ColoneI,
! I'll Ike very much for you to advertise
with me. Suppose You put in small
card for six months? Shant cost you
much" "I don't believe it would help
me-" "That's not tho question. I want
it to help me-"
A SCANDAL, or quarrel, or murder, ia
often explained by the statement that
"there is n woman Mt the bottom of it" -
J rs the man said when his wife fell into
the well. There is generally q woman
at the bottom of everything; but the Gap
; itol ut Washington is n notable excep.
ton. There is woman ut the top Of
, that. t.-Norri8to,Ux1 Herald.