The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-04-28
THE GEARS BANQUET.
Pecks Sun.f

1 nation that the tables for the feas, will be eleven miles long, and a Racine rail- road man writes us to know how on earth a banquet can be served on table eleven
 miles long. IL seemed to us impossible to serve such feast. until we received an
 answer to letter of iaquiry, sent to the ear some weeks since. It is plain enough
 now. II he tables do not commence at
 Moscow and run eleven miles into the eountTy, as many would suppose, bu,
 they are arranged all inside of a mile
 track, and are set round. There are rail-
 road tracks running around the ,ables.
 and cars loaded ~ith d fferent provisions.
 ana deck hands who have belonged to
 base ball clubs, pitch tn. canned proyis.
 isions to the guests. Each guest Is fur nished with a cAE-opener, and beside each guest IS a former serf, whose basi- ness II Is to take each can into the bomb
 proof and test i; to see that i, does no, contain dynamite. If it does the serf is blown up, and the empty cars remove his remains to one of the stationary moryues about the track. the same as box stalls a. one Of our horse races. The place of the deceased serf Is filled by another, relay. oi which are kept al the rear, saying the,r prayers. The festivities proceed. as only one can out of nse IS estimated to con- tain explosives. When a serf pounds can ot provisions on the anvil and it do not burst he hand. Il 10 a guest, and the guest opens II with his royal oan-ep.ner. and II his appetite has nor been injured by the sound of the explosions. and the sigh, of the basketful of deceased ser; which IS carried to the waiting car. he proceeds to nil up. The tables are inside oi each other, and coil st water pipe runs around the whole eleven mile; O, table, with faIce, a' each guests plate. oy which he can turn on the wine to sui, hls taste. Every seven minutes there will be new kind of wine placed in the res ervoir. and 1t will flow all around and he drank before another kind is substituted
 he outside of these water pipes will be utilized 10 send around strings of sausage. which are hung on rings over the pipe The front sausage will be attached to dog. with string of sausage say forty yards long. and the dog will be set after live rabo.. or perhaps A fox. which has been trained to run around a raised road way on the table. and other dogs follow the tifst dog, nj. O hauling strings of sau- sases, untA enough hounds have started ,o iuTnlsa 4 Ink of sausage for each guest. AS the dos passes along the guests reach out and pieS oT l sausage. and as they peel or the ulster and eat 1t. they can watch the sport Care has been taken. we arc informed, Tn selecting the dogs. to place the fastest dogs in ;he lead. so that no accident can happen by a rear dog running over one ahead of him. creating smash-up. by telescoping. or breaking the connection of the sausages. IL Is said that the dogs have been in training since last 4,h of July, running with saul sages. and they have got to understand what Is desired of them, though the wear and tear of the sausage has made i, nee- essary 10 upho!s,er them anew wi,h. the same material. Everything is to move just like clock-work. For instance, in the matter of pie The pies are made in the shape ot sa logs. and a, each guests plate Is knife, something like a gull lotine. or perhaps more like buzz saw. The logs of pie are started around the tables on tram, with the end of the log sticking out of car so it will touch the saw. and cut of pie. which drops or the table n front of the guest. The crus, Is around the outside. or i'm. instead of
 
 like our American boarding house pie. and the crus, must necessarily be some what tough ,o stand the racket of be,nr sawed ofi at the rate of forty miles an hour. but II IS believed the pies will give general satisfaction. The serving of the ice cream will be a triumph of the gum ners art Slugs of ice cream are ,o be made r,ied. to exactly it the bore of SIX md .l of the ice cream slug, is 10 be placed ln front 0: each guest, little to the left ot ms head. and at given signal the ar,il- iery of Russia. stationed to command every guest. will belch forth ice cream. and so well trained are the czar's artiller- ists, that II IS believed not single slug of ice cream will miss the mark. Of course II will stand guests in hand to sit erect, when the signal IS given, so that the ice cream will pass over their shoulders and hut the mark, as 1t would be little un- pleasant to have such a cold missile fired through mans head. or down his neck. When the artillery is discharged. tha, shall be signal 10 thousand balloon ists, who are to be in the air, over the tables. to drop down pieces of cake, to which will be tied, with blue ribbon, britannia spoon. Some thought has been expended, the ear informs us. on the matter oi asking a blessing over this b snquet. He thought first of having a minister ride around the track outside the tables. on ice, horse. and ask the bless ing on the run. but some Of his advisers have thought such proceeding would savor too much of the horse race. and i, was argued that the guests would forget the devotional exercises, and bet on the horse race from force of habit. and then II was thought TO minister could be found without sending to America. t,hat could ride race horse without falling oil, but a happy way out of the difficulty was thought of. IL has been decided 10 hoist banner on liberty pole inside the tables, on which shall be printed the blessing prepared by the minister. and al a given signal each guest. who has been furnished with a card, on which is