davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-05-11
The Newer Arithmetic.

A woman placed four pounds of cold
meat and eight slices of bread before a
tramp. At the end of twenty minutes
how much was left?
A young man, by swearing off on CT
gars, tobacco and beer, saved thirty
cents per day for six months. How
many frog suppers would this give him
at SO per supper?
Ii it costs two hundred dollars for
young lady to learn painting, and she
turns out two landscapes worth forty
cents apiece. what is the net profit?
An Indiana girl trapped eighty-three
rabbits and sold them for thirteen cents
each. What was the sum total, and
how much did she have left after buying
her father ten-dollar overcoat?
The average woman groaRs one hun
dred and twenty-five times per hour
when suffering with tooth-ache, while
the average man utters thirty-fiye cuss.
words every seventy seconds. At the
end of three hours how far ahead will.
the woman be?
A man in Richmond wound up an
eight-day clock every night for thirteen
straight years. How much time, esti-
mating three minutes for each wind.
could he have put in at hoeing corn had
ne known what sort of clock he had:
A certain shaft makes six hundred
and forty-five revolutions per minute,
and young man is seized by the coat
tails and whirled around for twenty
seven seconds. How many revolutions
does he make?
In certain saloon are seven men. a
woman is seen crossing the street, club
in land, and four of the men slip over
the back fence. Two-thirds of the re-
mainder are struck five times apiece by
the club, and the other one-third is hit
three times. How many hits in all, in
Guiding three broken decanters?
A man winks his eye an average OF
$4,000 times per day. and woman's
tongue makes 5000 motions every
twenty-four hours. At this rate how
long will it take the man to catch up?-
Detroit Free Press.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-05-11
A Merchant Mistakes His Partner Tor q
Burglar, and Kills Him.

BUSIUN. NiSs, My T.
Albert II. Deals, of the firm of Beals &
Pickett spice dealers of Boston, shot and
killed his partner, A. Perley Pickett, on the
Fall River steamer Bristol Monday night.
Both men occupieda state-room together, and
about 1880 Pickett got out of his berth
and went to the window. Beals, awakened
by the rafting of the blinds, and thinking
some one was trying to enter the room, fired
his revolver. The bullet entered Fickett's
forehead, and passed out of the back of his
head. He lived about an hour and half.
Beals was delivered to the police on the ar
rival of the boat at Fall River.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-05-11
Valuable Archaeological Discovery.

COLLINsvILLE, ILL.,, May l.
An interesting and valuable archaeological
discovery was made last week on the farm
of the Hon. ]. r. Miller, OH the bluff over
looking the American bottom, two miles
from that place, where there is group OF
ancient mounds. The find was made
by Mr.. McAdams. Assistant State GeolO-
gist, who dug up nineteen human skeletons,
adults and children, both male and female,
most of them in good state of preservation,
and also found large quantity of pottery,
copper and stone ornaments, and domestic
and agricultural implements. Among
the latter were several flint hoes which had
evidently been used a good deal. Further
excavations will be made, and it is believed
very valuable collection OF relics will be
secured and much information Of great in
terest to psychologists obtained.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-05-11
THE WEST.

HALE the business portion of Phelps City,
Mo-, was lately destroyed by fire.
THE City Council at Burlington, Iowa,
recently refused to reduce saloon license
from 800 to 500. The matter had greatly
excited public attention during the previous
week.
SIMON RUPERT, q well-known farmer of
Allen County, Ind, was instantly killed
the other afternoon by premature dynam-
tie explosion while preparing to blast
stumps on his farm.
The union stone-cutters and plasters of
st. Louis presented a demand on the
bosses the other day for an increase from
$3.50 to a day and the establishment of
a uniform rate. The employers refused to
accede and about 800 stone-cutters and 600
plasterers quit work.
WILLIAM JACKsoN's residence at Bailey's
Harbor, Wis, was recently destroyed by
fire and his daughters, Olive and Bertha,
to death while up stairs, where the fire
started.
ACCORDING to an Ell Paso dispatch Gen.
eral Crook recently crossed into Mexico
with his command and had been four days
in pursuit of the Apaches. The Mexican
authorities co-operated by sending two
companies to the frontier. Other troops
were in the field.
NEAR Omaha, Neb., early the other morn
ing, Frank Meystrick drove his family out
of doors into a rain and hail storm and set
fire to his house, which was destroyed. He
kept the neighbors at bay with a shotgun
while the house was burning. He was in
sane.
Ar Columbus, Ohio, J. D. Watson, a lob
byist, was recently convicted of bribing
members of the Legislature and sentenced
to Imprisonment.
SAM PAUL, Chickasaw Indian Consta-
BILE, was convicted at Little Rock, Ark, a
few DAYS ago of manslaughter for killing a
white man in his custody, and sentenced to
ten years in the House of Correction at De-
troit, Mich.
THE report comes from the Indian Terri
tory that John A. Neal of Boston, whose
brother is among the heaviest hide and
leather dealers of Massachusetts,, was muir
dered on the ranch of the Kansas City Cat
tie Company some days ago. He was in
the Territory for his health and was living
in dug-out with two cattle herders. His
murderer took $3.50 in money, gold watch
and other valuables.
Two YEARS ago the cashier of the Quincy
Qlls.) Coal Company temporarily deposit
ed $4,000 in the safe of d. H. Howell, then
station agent of the Chicago, Burlington &
Quincy Railroad. Howell took the money,
absconded and was not heard of until tn,
other day, when he surprised the President
of the coal company by suddenly stepping
into his Office and paying the amount ia
full. Howell told how he made his way ~
Mexico, was robbed of 5000, under an as
sumed name invested the balance in a
coffee plantation, secured a good position,
made and saved money, so that he could
clear his conscience by restoring the full
amount. He vowed the tempter should
never get the better of him again.
THE Iowa Republican State Committee
fixed the date of the State Convention for
June 81, at Des Moines.
AT conference of the Executive Com
mittee of the State Temperance Alliance
of Iowa the other night series of resOlu-
tions passed TO the effect that q ratification
of the Prohibition Amendment rests as
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-05-11
A Justice Of the Peace Declares the Ohio
Liquor Law to Be Unconstitutional.

STECBENN ILLE- u, Nay I.
The Scott Liquor law was decided to be
unconstitutional by Justice May yesterday
afternoon. A saloonist selling without the
written consent of the landlord was arrest
ed. The defense was that the law was IN
constitutional, because it impaired existing
contracts. The Justice gave the opinion
the tax was unequal and impaired existing
contracts.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-05-11

The practice of keeping night lights
in children's bedrooms is pronounced
very injurious by DIR. X. Fl. Bakewell-
Instead of allowing the optic nerves the
perfect rest afforded by darkness, the
light keeps them id perpetual stimula-
ton, with the result of causing the brain
and the rest of the nervousi system to
suffer- Indianapolis Journal
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-05-11

The map of the definite location of the
Northern Pacific Railroad through the Rocky
Mountains section has been approved By The
Secretary Of the Interior.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-05-11

Among those who attended the
funeral of Peter Cooper was one who
walked with him at the funeral O,
Washington.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-05-11

REV. DR.. c. B. BOYNToN, of Cincin.
natl, a welEknown Congregational minister,
who was Chaplain of the National Hon :" ri
Representatives from 1865 to 1870, led re.
Gently, aged II years.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-05-11

A Boston newsboy has So, 600 In saving,
bank.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-05-11

THE propeller Champlain passed through
the Straits OF Macinac ON the 9th.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-05-11
TIRE SOUTH.

The other day construction train on the
Texas & Pacific Railroad ran over q steer
near Fort Worth. The two head cars were
thrown from the track. killing F. A. Sim
mons, civil engineer; Price johnson, brake
man, and J. /. Bond, one of the workmen.
JEFF Ward, Charles F. Porter and Albert
Simms, brakemen, were badly hurt.
AN incendiary fire destroyed the stables
on J. II. Woolfork's Potosi (Miss.) planta-
ton the other night. Thirty-five mules
were burned to death.
The business portion of the town Of
Rogers, Tex, was recently burned.
THE Grand Jury at Harrodsburg, KY,
indicted Hon. Phil. B. Thompson for the
recent killing of w. H. Davis.
ISAIAH H. CAIN, a prominent farmer near
Little Spring, Franklin County, Miss, was
recently killed by a negro named Amos
Bailey and a mob hanged Bailey.
THE town of Tullahoma, Tenn, was al
NEST totally destroyed by fire recently.
Ex-TREAsuRER Polk, of Tennessee, was
recently re-arrested at Nashville, Tenn,
and committed to Jail, the authorities hav-
ing been notified that he was about to alb
scond.
A DESPERATE fight between posse of
Texas farmers and three horse thieves in
the lower part of the Indian Territory, near
Darlington, recently, resulted in the killing
of one of the thieves named Fleming, and
the mortal wounding of another and the
capture of the third. The dead desperate
was left on the prairie. The other two were
taken back to Texas, where the horses had
been stolen.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-05-11

moral obligation on the Legislators, re-
gardless of the technical objection in the
opinion of the Supreme Court, and that the
next General Assembly should re-enact the
prohibition law in harmony with the ex-
pressed will of the people, -
The Knights Templar Committee of San
Francisco announce that $4,000 were SUBJ
scribed by the citizens to cover the recep-
ton expenses.
A sLEEf storm prevailed at st. Paul on
the Sd. Reports from the Northwest stated
that there was snow the same night in some
places. -f..r.s#.H
HENRY THURMAN was recently hanged at
Helena, NJ. T., for the murder of his son-in-
law, Jacob Kenck. He was seventy years
old, and had for years premeditated the
murder, imagining that Kenck had caused
the death of Mrs. Kenck-wife of the muir
dered man and daughter of the murderer.
A LATE fire at Union City, Ind, destroyed
about twenty business houses. Loss fully
S25O,0OO.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-05-11

CATION. In England the judiciary Is independ-
rnt OF the executive, and sympathizes with
the people. The Ireland Judiciary Is the GREAT
ure and part of the executive. and is APP
pointed exclusively from the enemies OF the
people. In England the naSistracy IS
In Ireland ninety-seven per cent. of the mag
istrateS having jurisdiction over the peopiek
liberty are selected from creed rejectS by
seTenty-elght per cent or the people. ana the
uetestable spirit of religious bigotry is thus
legalzed and perpetuated. In England, laws
creating civil disabilities on account OF re-
!igion have long been dead. In ireland laws
made under Edward ILL.,, Queen Elizabeth,
Earl of Stratford, Charles l., Queen Anne, and
their successors are still vital to torment Il
The Brookhaven leader., 1883-07-05
HUMOROUS,

Always behind time the back of
the clock.
"A man whose best works are al
ways trampled under foot--A carpet
manufacturer. Every Sdtur-
day.
To be tried for his life-The hen
pecked husband. Two cats on the back
! fence meet purr-chance the usual way.
Brought up by hand-The coal-hod.-
N. Y NeOs.
"A barber-shop bit: "Is that about
the right length, sir?' asked the skill
full barber, as he finished cutting his
customers hair. Il like the S des and
| back" was the response" "but l wish
you would make it little longer on
top. ."-LouiSrUle Cour ierJournat.
I know that it is rude for me to call
him dude as pass; but his bobtail coat,
you know, and insane features show
the wearer is an ass. And if | should
live to be such jackanapes as he, such
daft, wear tight trousers, sore throat
dickey, toothpick shoes and darling
stickie, you may laugh.-Boston Tran
script.
A package containing two drafts,
one for 81 900, another for $4,000, and
a $5 gold piece, belonging to lady in
Beauregard, Miss, was found 10 miles
from that place, having been blown
there by the cyclone. 1t takes a cyclone
to ''raise the wind" and you will al
ways find more or less breeze where
there is draft. t.-NorriStOton Herald.
AT a fashionable wedding in New
York the ceremony was performed un-
der floral umbrella. This was proba-
bly, little suggestion of the brides
mother, who wanted the groom to un-
derstand by the emblem that he ought
to put up something for rainy day.
Hartford Times. Oh, no! 1t was a
suggestion for parasol-taire diamond
earrings. Chicago Herald.
=" Mehitable Jane, can not give you
another new dress this summer, ejac.l-
lated Mrs. Purse proud to her darling,
"your fathers pocket-book has been
drained by you now; in fact, it is dry"
"But, mamma, / must" "You must
. not" interrupted Mrs. P. "You are
"a" "A regular clothes wringer,"
rejoined the young lady.-BoSton CoHr-
Ter. ...
A Boston man clung to a friendly
lamp-post in the vicinity OF the Univer-
sity Club, and, as he made several inef.
fectual attempts to stop the drugstore
on the corner, under the impression that
it was horse-car, exclaimed: ''If (hic)
there'sh anything (hic) that (hic)
despise, it'sh one thing (hic) more'u
mother" The drugstore continued to
whirl around until a policeman came
along.-Boston Post. g..
"A youth who had for two or three
years been paying his addresses to a
$4,000 Brooklyn girl discovered the
other day that there was rival in the
field. He thereupon sat down and
wrote: Darling, | have advanced over
$500 margins and can do no more. How
does the deal stapd?'' The next day
brought him an answer which read:
Margins exhausted and deal closed.
Better invest in $500 girL-Brooe-
I'm Eagle,
The Brookhaven leader., 1883-07-05

share Of the time, but / would be glad to
arrive at a conclusion just to see how it
would seem. would be so pleased and
so joyous to follow up an anecdote till
l had reached the "nub," as it were, to
chase argument home to conviction,
and to clinch assertion with authority
and evidence.
The second class of interrupters is
even worse. 1t consists of the man
and, am panied to state, his wife also
who see the general drift of your re-
marks and finish out your story, your
gem of thought or argument. 1t is very
seldom that they do this as you would
do it yourself, but they are kind and
thoughtful and their services are al
ways at hand. No matter how busy
they may be, they will leave their own
work and fly to your aid. With the
light of sympathy in their eyes they rush
into the conversation and, partaking Of
your own zeal, they take the words from
your mouth, and cheerfully suck the
juice out of your joke, handing back
the rind and hoping for reward. That
is where they get left SO far as | am
concerned. | am always ready to repay
served gall with such acrid sarcasm as
| may be able to secure at the moment.
No one will ever know how l yearn for
the blood of the interrupter. At night
l camp on his trail, and all day thirst
for his warm life's current. In my
dreams | am cutting his scalp loose
with case-knife, while my fingers are
twined in his clustering hair. | walk
over him and promenade across his alb
domen as | slumber. | hear his ribs
crack, and see his tongue hang over
his shoulder as he smiles death mirth-
full smile.
l do not interrupt man no more
than would tell him he lied. l give
him a chance to win applause or de-
composed eggs from the audience, ac-
cording to what he has to say, and ac-
cording to the profundity of his pro-
found. All | want is similar chance
and room according to my strength.
Common decency ought to govern con-
versation without its being necessary
to hire an umpire armed with four
foot club, to announce who is at the bat
and who is on deck.
1t is only once in week or two that
the angel troubles the waters and stirs
up the depths of my conversational
powers, and then the chances are that
some leprous old nasty toad who has
been hanging on the brink of decent
society for two weeks, slides in with a
low kerplunk, and my fair blossom
of thought, that has been trying for
weeks to bloom, witherS and goes to
seed while the man with the chilled
steel and copper-riveted brow and a
wad of self-esteem on his intellectual
balcony as big as an ink-stand, walks
slowly away to think of some other
dazzling gem, and thus be ready to
bust my beautiful phantom and tear out
my high-priced bulbs of fancy the next
time open my mouth.-BN Nye, in
Detroit Free Press.
The Brookhaven leader., 1883-07-05
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

John Russell Young, United State,
Minister to China, is collecting material
Tor a work on that country.
Charles Dudley Warner states that
in literature there is hardly any money
for the author. The publisher gets the
profit.
AT 5000 a night it is calculated
over $50 dollars a minute, 81. .16 word,
and S1.75 note.
Sir Julius Benedict, though very
old, is preparing to come to this coun-
try, where he has not been since he
came with Jenny Lind.
Philip Phillips, 'the sweet singer"
has started for Amsterdam, intending
to give there a hundredi song services
during the Worlds Fair.
Mr.. Langtry is living in little
Welsh village, and receives, an English
journal announces, weekly remittance
from his wife of f3 IS.
Captain John Ericsson, the inventor
of the monitor, still hale and hearty, is
now eighty, looks about seventy, and
works like sixty.-Chicago Inter Ocean.
1t is said that a son of Prof Donald
son, the lost aeronaut, has been COM
PEELED to ask Rochester On. " JUS
tice to send him to the House of Refuge
that he may obtain an education.
Mr.. and Mrs. George A. Perkins, of
Athens, Bradford County, Pa, recently
celebrated their diamond wedding.
During their married life of seventy
five years they have resided in one
house.
Rev. DR.. R. A. Holland, of Chi
cago, who has been called to the rector
ship of Trinity Episcopal Church, New
Orleans, was known at the early age of
sixteen as the "Boy Methodist
Preacher
Miss Rebecca Mclean, the Staten
Island heiress who was lately sued for
an alleged breach of promise, has now
married a journeyman printer to whom
she was engaged before the advent of
the prosecutor for damages y
San.
Ex-Governor A. II. Rice, of Massa-
chusetts, has been unfortunate in his
love. His first wife died early. His
wedding day was appointed with a
second lady, but she died shortly before.
He became engaged to third lady,
whom he married, but she became in
sane shortly afterward.-Boston Herald.
james Freeman Clark's " Compar-
ison of All Religion" just issued in Bos-
ton, is probably the last important lit
erary work he will undertake. He is
seventy-three years old. and not of
strong physique, and, Notwithstanding
he has written so much and preached so
steadily, he is careful in his habits OF
labor, and never consciously overtaxeS
his powers.-B0StOn Post.
General George Crook. of the army,
the Indian fighter, is about fifty-three
years of age, but he looks but little
more than forty. He is about five feet
ten inches high, wiry as a greyhound,
and can outride and outmarch any man
in the American army. 1t is histor-
ical fact that he lived for three days on
no other nourishment than tree bark,
during one of his campaigns against the
Indians. Chicago JOaTndL
The Brookhaven leader., 1883-07-05
A Promising New Orleans Clergyman's
Downfall and Death.

A recent New Orleans Oa.) dis.
patch says:
REV, John Philson, late rector of St.
Georges Episcopal Church, was edu-
Gated in Dublin, where he graduated
with high honors from Trinity College.
Coming to this country he took orders
in the Episcopal Church and had charge
of several parishes in this. State. Sew
eral months ago he was invited, at the in
stance of Bishop Gallagher to take
charge of ST. Georges Church, in this
city. He was a gifted preacher, and
soon became popular in his new parish.
In early life he had been addicted to
drink, and shortly after taking charge
of st. Georges the old habit returned.
At last his intemperance became SO
marked that May 20 his resignation was
demanded by the vestry and was ten
dered. On Tuesday last he went on
spree, which was continued until death
resulted. Last night he was carried to
bed, and when the room was visited this
morning it was found he had died during
the night of congestion. of the brain. .,
The Brookhaven leader., 1883-07-05
A Pathetic Scene.

That was a pathetic scene witnessed
by loiterers near Plymouth Church, the
other day, on the occasion of ''swell"
wedding. The bride entertained sim
gular and questionable prejudice
against dogs, and consented to become
a bride only on condition that her fut-
ure husband, who was addicted to dogs,
should abandon them, kick them out or
otherwise dispose of them. Mr.. Bangs,
her intended, loved skye terrier above
all the other pets. The skye accompa-
MED him to the church. and there, at
the door of the sanctuary, Bangs was
compelled to take last and fond fare
well of the little beast. Tears came to
the eyes of the most callous and strong
hearted spectators as they noted the
fond embraces of master and dog. The
bride waited in the vestibule, but Bangs
could not tear himself from the skye
until soulless sexton snatched the pet
and bore him out of his masters sight
forever. Only the fact that the bride,
Miss Singer, of sewing machine ante
cedents. has an annual income of $780,
600 could reconcile Bangs to this sacri-
fee of his tenderest feelings.-M. Y.
SUn