The Opelousas courier., 1883-10-13
WAITS N WHIMs,

guired in order to open a New York
door properly.
LONDON has a Beefsteak Club bu.
Philadelphia women generally pound =
with q rolling-pin.
If a man really wants to know Of how
little Importance he is, let him 20 with
his wife to the dressmaker's.
EGoTIsM may not be a very desirable
virtue. but it beats modesty to death
when success is the objective point.
WE are hanging up pictures every ds,
about the chamber walls of our heart,
that we shall have to look at when Wa
sit in the shadows.
OUR striving against nature is lika
holding a weathercock with ones hand:
as o al the force is taken off it yeers
again with the wind.
The most fashionable jewelry is al.
ways that which costs the most money.
| Pin this to your sleeve and it will save
many inquiries.
AL the Rage, a new comedy by Will
.. Eaton, dramatic critic of the Chicago
Times, will shortly be produced at
Haverly's Theatre, Brooklyn.
A MILKHAN makes an excellent can.
| didate for Office. Practice with the
pumphandIe enables him to shake
hands without experiencing fatigue.
FORMERLY, when great fortunes Wer
made only in war, war was a business;
but now when great fortunes are only
made by business, business is war.
A MAN can only rise to the pinacle OF
success upon a staircase built from tim.
Der furnished by others failures
Whitehall Times.
SUNSET, one of the new eolors, is de.
scribed as q mixture of orange and
lemon with a purple gloss. If it only
had a dash of green in it it would seem
perfect.
In all waters there r come fA
which have to swim against the stream;
and in every community persons are to
be found who delight in being opposed
to everybody else.
Bessie TURNER, the heroine Of TheO.
dore Tilton's nocturnal ramblings, isnot
sick, nor is she starving. but she Is try
ing to act in one of the Union Square
New York; travelling companies.
ONE of the correspondents writa
about a gown with half short sleeves
ending about ten inches below tho
elbow. A long-sleeved gown probably
covers the finger tips.
CysToR oil has been introduced int
a school in Galveston, Texas, as q dis
ciplinary agent. A boy had itpoured
down his throat for smoking, and a glrl
had it rubbed on her lips for swearing
"FRoNT1N" is the name Of q new
outer garment which is as long as Tho
gown and is lined with wadded slk u
light shades. 1t opens in the back Vi
to the waist, and has long pockets.
WOMEN somehow get over Childish
notions that men never outgrsw. Soma
men celebrate the anniversary OF every
birthday as long as they live, whils
women quit doing so almost as soon .
they grow up.
LAND-sTEwARD to tenant-farHer-
Well, Giles, what are you going .
SOW in hereW Farmer-"Ain't 'zactly
made up my mind, sir; but if we could
put in a few ste wards and land-agents-,,
they Q to thrive best on the Land
nowadaysl"-Londos Fun.
/ ONE-TH1RD of the gold that is mined
goes to wear and tear, one-thlFd gosa
into circulation, and one third into ss
arts and manufactures All the goa
in the world would make a pile on!
twenty-five feet wide, forty-fVe iee'
Gong and twenty-five fees high,
THERE is nothing so charming Is the
innocence of children. "Mamma," sald
a fve-year-oId, the other day II WISH
you wouldn't leave me to take care q
baby again. He was so bad that mao
to eat all the sponge cake and Two lan
Of raspberry jam to amuse him"
THERE Is nothing so certain, We tase
it, as that those who are the most sleis
in discovering the faults of . work. o
genius, are the least touched with ~
beauties
Miss PAYNE, of st. Paul, became :
secret smoker. When two genslea.I
called she hurriedly thrust . ilgaSu
cigarette into her pocket, and was so0s
ablaze, receiving burns that were ainO''
| fatal. i.
The papers are always ridiculingI en- ~
man who parts his hair in the mlaa a.
Yet that class of men never ieae -. -
papers at all, but CLEAN all their i last.
: nation from the wrappers srouna vss-
, ages of cough-drops.
"WHY did General Washington c, -
; the Delaware on tho ice during !
D storm of an awful night?" asksu :
: teacher of her young class IN nlssi 4
!, ct reckon" piped a small volss q
answer. eft was because he wanted y
. get on the other SIDE" !
! M1ss Lillian WHITING, on tns III
. torial staff Of the Cincinnati Co nnssS &
. stayg at her post until IL oc n;stuys
: NIGHT. She is said to look the R e snd
! ! ~ nfs strong healthy, fresh, young hIs, -
has proven by her work thai . -
O can do well on a daily paper.
y sRooKnxN has only one church . Z.
eyerv 1.721 of population, while m M.,s
IS inston has one for every ss2. NJ OlV n
I, land has one fer every l,O44; nnsti
d leans, one for every 1915; Ci go aver
one for 1850; Baltimore, one -, S6S
Is 1,412, and Boston one for every ! Sop
ST. Louis has one for every. l,o9zOly Wi
ulation. The proportion in NEW
= stands one to 2,6lS. "
~ "Do not kick every n in your WEB i,
: = is the advice to a young man glse I'M
!, one of our exchanges. No, sonhs HI
4 kick every one in your way nsaIleas
to only kick a few-ths little is Nsre
!, y Tor intance they can'tssck back .lSugd
> kick those big six-fooaers with y aish
ers like a brown stone trohI; = siIsB