The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1883-03-10
THE GREAT UNSNOwN.
Peck's SUM-

skating rink = asked the grocery man.
"Oh, everything broke him up, said
the bad boy. "Well he had no busi.
ness to be the best skater in North |
America when he was boy. He said
he skated once from Albany to New
York in an hour and eighty minutes.
Me and my chum thought if pa was such
terror on skates we would get him to
put on pair OF roller skates and enter
him as the Great Unknown and clean
out the whole gang. We told pa that
he must itmerlber that roller skates
were different from ice skates and that
maybe he couldn't skate on them; but
he said it didn't make any difference
what they were so long as they were
skates, and he would paralyzc the whole
crowd. 50 we got pair of big roller
skates for him, and while we was strap
ping them on pa looked at the skaters
glide around ON the smooth wax floor
just as though they were creased. Then
pa looked at the skates on his feet after
they were fastened-sort of forlorn like,
the way a horse-thief does when they
put shackles on his legs, and l told him
if he was afraid he could not skate on
them we would take them off; but he
said he would beat anybody there or
break a suspender. Then we straight
ened pa up and pointed him toward the
center of the room, and he said 'leggo,
and we just gave him little bush to
start him and he began to so.
"You'd died to have seen pa try to
stop. You see, you can't stick your heel
in and stop, like you can on ice skates,
and pa soon found that out, and then he
began to turn sideways, and then he
threw up his arms and walked on his
heels, and he lost his hat, and his eyes
began to stick out, cause he was going
right towards an iron post. One arm
caught the post and he circled around it
few times, and then he let go and began
to fall, and, sir. he kept falling all across
the room, and every body got out of the
way except girl and pa grabbed her
by the polonaise, like drowning man
grabs straw, though there wasn't any
straws on her polonaise as 1 knows of,
but pa just pulled her along as though
she was done up in small strap, and his
feet went out from under him, and he
struck on his shoulders and kept agoing,
with the girl dangling along like bundle
of clothes.
"Well, sir, l was ashamed. An old
man like pa ought to know better than
to be boy. This last time pa said he
was going to spread himself. and if am
any judge of big spread, he did spread
himself. Somehow the skates got turned
around sideways on his feet, and his feet
got to going in different directions, and
pas feet were getting SO far apart that l
would have two pas, half the size, with
| ohS ieS apieSc' aiiSo " SSI uitu W
take up a collection of his legs, and get
them both in the same ward, but his
arms flew around, and one hit me on the
nose, and l thought if he wanted to
strike the best friend he had he could
run his legs himself. When he began to
separate / could hear the bones crack.
THE proprietor of the link told pa
that if he wanted to give flying trapeze
performance he would have to 90 to the
gymnasium, and he couldn't skate on his
shoulder any more, cause the Other
skaters was afraid of him. Then pa said
he would whip the proprietor of the rink,
and he got up and steadied himself, and
then he tried to knock the man, but his
heels went up to wonce, and pa turned 9
back somersault, and struck right ON his
vest in front. guess it knocked the
breath out Of him, for he didn't speal
for few minutes, and then he wanted
to 60 home. We put him on street
car and he laid down on the hay ant
rode home. Oh, the work we had tt
get pas clothes off. He had cricks il
his back, and everywhere, and ma wa
away to one of the neighbors, to look a
the presents, and had to put linimen
, on pa, and 1 made mistake and got
bottle of furniture polish and pot it o,
pa, and rubbed it in, and when ma cam
home pa smelled like coffin at charit.
funeral, and ma said there was no wa,
Of getting that varnish off of pa till i
|; wore off. He will have to stay in tn
house all this week.