Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-03-24
Saturday Sn,iles.

The question is asked us if there is anything
that will bring youth to women? Yes. there is.
An income of, say $4,000, will bring any num-
Der of them.-Rochester Express.
asked little boy of his mother. Eyes. nv son;
but If you want to be man you must be indus
trious at school and learn how to be behave
yourself" ''Why, mamma, do the lazy boys
turn out to be women when they grow up3"
Charley" remarked Jones. you were born
to be writer" "Ah!' replied Charley, blush
Ing slightly at the compliment; ''you have seen
some Of the things have turned Off" ''NO,' ~
said Jones; 81 wasn't referring to what you had
written. l was simply thinking what splendid
ear you had for carrying pen. Immense,
Charley; simply immense!"
very hungry arrival at the Adelphe hotel
rushed into the dining room lately and fell upon
the eatabes with great determination. II de-
clare, said one of those hotel funny dogs who
sat at the same table, my dear sir. YOU remind
me of the prodigal son." Exactly said the
hungry man, as he speared another outlet: 81
am forced to eat with ogs."-Lirerpool Echo
"WhO are those two MEM" asked Deacon Gilpin
OF Squire McGill the other evening. ''Oh. those
are the men who come to work in Joralum's
place. He has moved to Binghamton." ITO
work in JOralum's place? Why, he was the
LATEST man in Marathon" 81 know it and
that's the reason there's two of them. 1t takes
both Of them to be as lazy as he as."-Marathoa
Independent.
sardonic officer: "Don't pull me around
So said the thief to the policeman, 81 have a
felon upon my finger!'' "And have nv finger
upon felon, remarked the policeman.-BostOn
Advertiser.
A good deal of comment has been caused be-
cause Georgia man broke his back with a
sneeZe; but how much more wonderful it would
have been had he broken his knees with his
back!
There are some persons who cannot take a
joke, but Fogg is not one of them. One of the
boys acquainted with Fogg's frequent change
of abode, asked him which he thought was the
cheaper, to move or payrent. 81 can't tell you,
my dear boy" replied Fogg, II have always
moved"
Miss Flora McFllmsey McVeigh
Went sailing in Wallabout beigh,
When her lover he met her, upset her, and wet her
All over with old oceans Spreigh.
Miss Flora she thought 1t quite rough.
And called her bold lover mOugh;
But her lover he caught her, and taught her that
water,
Like riches. is unstable slough.
Prof. Blackie once chalked on his notice-board
in college, "The professor is unable to meet his
classes tomorrow" waggish student re-
moved the Sc" leaving classes" When the
professor returned he noticed the new render
ing: Equal to the occasion the professor quietly
rubbed out the 81" and joined in the hearty
laughter of the asses.
IOu WOuluut tdhc Llc lOF h married man,
would you?" asked normal student of Cort-
land girl last Sunday night. Il rather think I
would, If you should ask me-, was the response.
He bought ring next day.-Mdraason Iade-
pendent.
1t is intended to present Mr.. Bright with the
freedom of Glasgow when he visits the city next
week. Glasgow is the place where so. 600
people are said to go to bed drunk every Satur-'
day night. The freedom of city like that
is therefore no empty bauble.-Lo,ceH Citizen.
Talk about your hop producing regions,
Your eld-fashioned armchair with the belt-pia
attachment holds over everything Of that
duality. II
Philadelphia man who visited the signal
service department while In Washington says it
reminded him of social party at home Ali the
people were talking about the weather.
A grocer who prays for his Fellow men on
Sunday and preys on them the rest of the week,
being asked why he sold the same sugar at ten
cents to poor people and fifteen cents to the
rich, replied. "Well. don't st. Paul command,
Charge them that are rich in this world?'."
De man what ponds on de rooster for ter crow
An wake him up early in de mawnin,,
May Sumtime I'M dat de rooster is no mo-
But Wuz stolen sew 'Ours fore de dawnin,
Georgia MGjOr.