The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1883-10-17
THE SUN RIVER LIARS.
They Organize a Club and the Royal
Beuncer Relates the First
Truthful Narrative.

The Sun River lying club organized
on the evening of the 7th. Mr.. Wells
was elected president, Mr.. Henry
Rowles secretary and Ben Steel treas
urer. M. Nick, the mason, was elected
chief liar, and placed with B. w. Muir
ray and John Conley on a committee on
credentials. d. b. Hall and Chas. Tay-
lor were named as a committee on sub
iects; J. P. Dyas and b. A. Robertson
committee IN nourishment; John Nix
on and Bud Ford, committee on music.
TIE committee on subjects then report
ed the following for the month Of Octo-
Der: Snakes and their ways, for the
l4th; drunks, for the 21st shooting, for
the 9th: and fishing, for the Sd of No
vember-the latter suggested by our
honorable president.
The committee on credentials pro-
posed the following names of persons
who were deemed by them fit and prop
err persons to become members OF our
beautiful organization: j.. A. White,
A. S. Hall, VIM. Kelly, I. S.. Corson,
Hiram Hall, Chas. Holt and VIM. Ulm.
The three first only were elected to
membership, for reasons which ! am
forbidden to state, ours being a seml-se-
cret order. The committee on nourlsh-
ment then produced their store and the
committee on music sang Down at the
Club" etc, and between each song and
its accompanying nourishment the mem
bers told their little stories on the sub
ject-snakes
The grand reporter was ordered to
report for the benefit of our fellow liars
what the club considered the best and
most colossal lie.
And. after a vote was taken, l was or
dered to transmit to the RIVER PRESS
the following, told by our Royal Bouncer.
THE ROYAL BoUNCER's TALE.
"T'm an old-timer, boys as yer all
snakes amt the proper kind o. assertion
fur this yer club. No, sir; but of all
the snakes, and of all the cute snakes,
and of all the venomous. wicked snakes
ever saw reckon the Sulphur Springs
on south Fork takes the pay. | ran in
on them ar springs n day ten years
ago, and thought as how it might be a
good racket to take a little rince OFT, see
ing as how I had not washed for nigh
unto six months"
s.You amt washed since, either" re-
marked the chief cork-puller, who was
promptly called to order by the presl'
dent.
"Well, just took off my clothes and
slid into that pool II IL WAS 50 dIHlcu
comfortable that I stayed in rather long
er than [ intended to. I had left my
clothes out on the rocks and when |
went to get them ten thousand snakes
had possession of 'em; they had by
thunder, an were just a wrigglin' ano
twistin' all through and over them, and
they were a chewin' of the greasy part
of my overalls, you bet. | was mad, 50
I went and got some stones and begln
pelting of them and as soon as l would
throw a stone among them they Woulc
come for me and I'd have ter go bacR
inter the pool, and once or twice some O
them followed me, but they did moi
seem to like the water. Istayed in that
there internal pool all day thinkin'
they would go away as soon as 1t was
dark, bat nary a go, they camped on
them 'ere clothes and [ had to skip II
camp and make a suit out of a gunny
sack and a blanket. ] left them parts
the next day, and the SHAKES still hello
the fort. [ did not go back for ter
wears, and when / did them snakes were
there yet. They had %colonized then
,ere old clothes. What they found tt
eat in them has always been a mystery
to me, and also why they choose to in
habit them as they did. Let's all take
some n~ourishment."
By order of the club.
GRAND REPORTER.
P. S.-All liars are cordially invited t