River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1883-10-18
Laugh While Won Can.

A political incident in Paris: Two
Americans are standing in front of a ca1e
on he Boulevard des Italiens, Paris.
4 member Of the Chamber OF Depntle5
rushes by, with every appearance of a
man who is terribly frightened. First
American-What on earth do you sup
pose is the mater with that fellow:
Second American-Can't imagine, I'M
less he flncied re saw Prince Napoleon
comiur around the corner.-Brooklyn
Eagle.
Alabama boasts a watermelon with a
complete map of the world on its sur.
face. The cholera districts are strongly
outlined.-BurIington Free Press.
An item from Boston; "Whoshe lee
ted Senator, JIM" said one of two berry
individuals as they came to the left face
with lurch in front of the Journal
bulletin last Wednesday. "D0n't know
which feller's 'iected," said the inter
rogated, blinking at the bulletin board
"but nescheshary f choice got the most
votes. Boston Com mercial bulletin.
Credits flies away on the owe-pinions
of prodigals-New York News.
Making it Eay: eyes" said Brown,
"Goldbrick is a smart fell)T. a remar-
kably.smart fellow. l never saw such a
man. No matter what he goes into he
makes it pay" "Then l wish he'd 20
into himself a little WHILE" remarked
the butcher who had supplied Goldbrick
with provisions without being able to
see the color of Goldbrick's money; 81
wish he'd go into himself and see if he
could make that pay" Boston Tran
script.
In troublesome fix: II got Jack
in-the-box on Christmas; what did you
get, Franzel?" Nothing" "Why
not?" Because papa is an anti-Somite.
"What do you meant" We'll, papa
PAID he would not buy anything of a
Jew and the Christians wo MT give him
credit. "-Frankfurter Zeitung.
A dog on a warm summer day lay
down IN the shade and soon fell asleep
He was awakened hy the noise ola huge
bull approaching his shady resting place
"Get up" said the bud, land let me
lie down there" NO" replied the
dog. "you have no right to the place; |
was here first" "Well," said the bull
looking innocently at the dog. but with
a ferocjous twinkle in his left eye. which
made the dogs spinal column run cold
and mis- lower jaw give way. Lets
throw up for it," Thank you, said the
dog politely. Il never gamble" and he
walked away. Moral-Vlrtue has its
own ward.-Lite.
GLOW shall We stop the great evil OF
lying?" asks religious weekly. 1t can't
be stopped; but the evil might be less
ened materially by abandoning the Gus
tom of putting inscriptions on tomb
stones.-Norrlstown Herald.
Gentlemen" said the Texas man in
the restaurant when the waiter dumped
plate of hot soup down his back, ''gen-
tlemen. don't laugh" AS he had risen
to his feet and drawn two revolv RS, his
wishes were respected.-Boston Post.
as there anything wrong IN kissing?"
he asked her, as they stood together at
the gate. Certainly there is" she re-
piled, "or there wouldn't be any fun in
it."-Rochester Post Express.
We are suffering from a severe drouth
but New York has Oscar Wilde again.
We have sympathy to spare for New
York She needs it more than we do
san Antonio Express.
"Hello, Jack, old fellow, how are
YOU? Haven't seen you for three years.
Take cigar. hear you're just whoop-
in thing in business" eyes, Tm get.
ting along first rate" Getting rich and
living on the interest of your money,
hey?' ''Yes-and no. Pm making the
money and my motherin-laS, she lives
on the interest. "-Chicago News,
4 thunder storm is a high-toned af-
fair.-Uil City Derrick.
"Whatp' exclaimed a bootblack,
never heard OF Jesse James, the man
who found America floating around
recklessly, waiting for some one to look
after her? WHAT Never heard of Jesse
James, the great American pie bitter?
Wen, that's him. He was shining the
shoes of a stranger, who had inquired
abouttEe Clay statue. "-LoulsyIile Cour-
Ter Journal.
A young woman in an Ohio town mar
ried her brothers wife's father. When
last seen she was busy with a compass
and dictionary trying 10 study out
what relation she is to herselt.-Peek' $
sun.
Admitted to bale-The sailor ordered
iuit, a Ieakv boat.-New York News.