News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-08-09

L ~ 1G1I - - sOUG
ing pool with three commercial men in
hotel billiard-room.
He had a clustering. bullying way
with him, which kept the spirits of the
party down below zero, and promoted &
singular display of courtesy on the par
Of his companions, who treated hin
about as tenderly as a man getting
| stone out of the hind hoof of a wicked
mule.
Even when he appropriated one of the
! balls johnson had pOcketed, his piracy
was permitted without murmur, and il
was apparent that the game would not
end without a row.
Suddenly the door opened and a small.
| sharp-nosed lady, with cork-screwy ring
lets and sallOw complexion, entered.
The muscular stranger was making A
shot and did not notice the intrusion.
she walked straight up to him, laid hold
OF one of his aggressive ears and led him
like Una and the lion-clean up to the
front door, out of which he passed into
the street. Then, turning to the bar
keeper, she said:
I've told you more than once I'll not
have my Joe lOafing round Your den Of
Iniqulty any more; and If [ catch him
here again III make things so lively for
you you'll wish you'd aided when YOU
was a baby !"
Then there was a silence for two min
utes. And when she was gone the bar
keeper wiped the perspiration off his
face with the glass-cloth and said:
''Py gracious, if dat vomens vos meine
frau -E0ansUjYe Argu8.
NOBODY TO BLAME.
"What makes it cry SOP" asked the
old bachelor, listening to the baby on
the next block waking the midnight
stars with its songs without words,
''What under the canopy makes it cry
SOP
Nothing" said the experienced
father who had his quiver full of 'em.
and was never happy unless he was
rocking baby. Nothing; it Just
makes that noise ten hours a day natu-
rally, voluntarily, and without effort,
suggestion, assistance or compulsion.
Nobody makes n baby cry. And" he
added, after a moment of thoughtful
silence, during which the baby twice
got up to high c., "nobOdy can make it
stop crying, either, until it is cried out. "
.BURDETTE.
AN EDITORS TRIALS.
Chow is business ?" asked Brown of
Editor Pastem of the Weekly Scissors.
'Driving," replied the editor, ''driv-
ing. Been fearfully busy the last fort
almost to death.
''Let me congrat-"
''Don't you do it, Brown, I beg of
you. I'll tell you how it is. Last week
had an article in favor of painting the
Town Hall-rcgular screamer, you know.
Result was that half OF my subscribers
got mad and ordered their pnpcrs
ing mp, sending bills. and runai"- afte1
my r,.,,- TI.r. vs.. ,t fIl.sr.Eb. 80 -stEl"
.r.-.. 20 ,...f frf..l..,.r...7 ~.
know So I wrote scrrcd a@"'"er he
painting project. We'll, ,II, would you
.,IIeye 1t, the other half of my sub
scrlbers sent in word that they wanted
their papers stopped. So I've been
working like a dog to accommodate 'em.
Yes, business is splendid but its aw-
fully demoralizing ON a fellows pockets
when 1t comes on him unawares and all
in a heap. "-B0stOn Transcript.
A LITTLE PRECIPITATE.
In new City Directory appears the
name of a certain woman with the words
s'vidow Of" Some of her friends,
knowing that her husband was really
living, called on her to inquire about
this singular publication as soon as they
noticed it in the directory. She had
been absent in Europe for some time
and owing to the fact that her liege lord
was very headstrong and a slave to
strong drink, they parted angrily. She
was Catholic and wished no divorce.
To her friends her husbands dissipated
habits were well known, and they
greatly influenced her and had much to
do with causing the couples separation.
The husband, however, recently returned
and effected a reconciliation with his
wife. He was very angry when he saw
in the directory that his wife was wild
ow. She admitted to him that she had
kept track of and knew of his move
ments for the last three years.
"Weu, then, in the name of common
sense, why d1d you give it out that you
were a widow?"
'"To tell the truth, my dear" she re-
piled, "you were drinking so hard wher
the directory man came around that
was sure vou would be dead before the
book was printed. But it seems thai
the whisky won't kill you ever, or you
would have been dead long ago. l was
really about to get ready my widows
weeds and look out for another hus
band"
A CREATURE OF HABIT.
A guest in down town restaurant last
night, after hehad finished his meal ant
wiped his lips, stood up and turned of
the gas.
''What did you do that for9" asked &
waiter.
The guest for a moment stood aghast
"Wen, you see" he said, finally, .
generally get home late at night, ant
nv wife always leaves some meat an
bread on the parlor table for me. Whe
[ have eaten my supper [ put the hgh
ont and go to bed. l forgot where
was lust now. After all, what am l bu
a mere creature of habit ?"
IN SPITE OF ALL THE CARE HE TOOK
We saw boy mailing up box IL
other day, containing some articles Wine
! he intended sending by express. Fro
4 the nature of the contents we knew
l was essential that the box should not
inverted on the passage. So we We
tured the suggestion to place the muc
abused "This side up" etc, consplc
ously on the cover. \ few days aft
= we saw our boy again.
o "Heard from your goods yet? d
;, they get there safely?'
every one broke replied he, 81
y I-.-l-- 1T ,Z+ +l,o hull lot Hang (