The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-08-04
Neat Rebnkes.

Neat Rebukes.
A rebuke may sometimes be very eff
fectively put into practical form. Thus,
at time when there was a heavy duty
upon French gloves, apacket addressed
to the French Ambassador having ac-
cidentally come undone, the Custom
house authorities discovered that it
consisted of gloves, whereupon they
sent it on as an unpaid post-letter: and
| though the double postage amounted to
more than the single duty, it was paid
without comment. Very neat and
characteristic, in the way of pratical
rebuk es, was that of Talleyrand, to q
faithful but too inquisitive confidential
servant, whom he saw from the window
of his apartment coolly reading a letter
instructed to him to deliver. On the
next day similar commission was con-
fided to the servant, and to the second
letter was added postscript, couched
in the following terms: "You can send
a verbal answer by the bearer. He is
perfectly well acquainted with the
whole affair, having taken the precau-
ton to read this previous to its de-
livery"
Dean Ramsay, in his "reminiscences,
tells similar and equally characteristic
story of an old Forfarshire lady. She
knew the weakness of her man-servant
and when she wished anote to be taken
without delay, held it open, and read it
over to him, saying: There moo,
Andrew, We ken a that's int, moo
ninna stop to open it, but Just send it
of.
Not bad in its way either was Lord
Chesterlield's practically humorous re-
buke of the craze for having far-reach-
ing portrait galleries of ancestors. In
his own gallery he placed two old
heads, inscribed respectively Adam de
Stanhope and Eve de Stanhope.
OF the rebul1e indirect, one of the
| finest examples is that attributed to DR..
South. Once when preaching before
| Charles the Second, he observed that
the monarch and several of his attend
ants had fallen asleep. Presently one
of the latter began to snOre, whereupon
the Bishop broke off his sermon, and
exclaimed: ''Lord Lauderdale, | am
sorry to interrupt your repose, but let
me entreat you not to snore so loud lest
you awaken his Majesty" Less indi-
rect, but more severe, was q rebuke said
to have been spoken from the pulpit by
a dissenting minister of modern times
While he was preaching he was annoyed
by some young people in the congrega-
ton whispering and giggling. He
paused, looked at the disturbers, and
said: 81 am always afraid to reprove
those who misbehave themselves for
this reason: Some years since, when |
was preaching, young man who sat
| before me was constantly laughing
talking and making uncoufh grimaces
paused and administered a severe re-
buke. After the close of the service a
gentleman said to me: Sir, you have
made great mistake. That young man
whom you reproved is an idiot Since
then | have always been afraid to re-
prove those who misbehave themselves
in chapel, lest | should repeat that mis-
take and reprove anotheridiot. During
the rest of the service, the story con-
| cludes, there was good order.
Incisve and dry, as becomes its ma
tionality, was the rebuke of the Scotch
shepherd to Lord Cockburn of Bonaly.
That nobleman was sitting on the hill
! side with the shepherd, and observing
the sheep reposing in the coolest situa-
ton, he said to him: John, if | were
sheep, would lie on the other side of
the hill" The shepherd answered.
AYE, my lord, but if We had been a
sheep, We would haze had mair sense"
Less systematically neat but more
richly deserved was the following re-
buke to an unnamed lord, quoted in
Selden's liable Talk "a great lord
and a gentleman talking together, there
came boy by leading a calf with both
his hands. Says the lord to the gentle
man, you shall see me make the boy
let go his calf with that he came to-
ward him, thinking the boy would have
put off his hat, but the boy took no no.
tice of him. The lord seeing that,
'Sirrah, says he, do you not know me,
that you use no reverence?' Yes, says
the boy, if your lordship will hold my
calf, l will put off my hat. '"-AU the
Year ArOund.