The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1883-11-28
WArrs OF wa.

The chord Of sympathy IS often best
expressed BY cord Of wood
Amaa lately applied i butchers
shop for silver pad.
A man who had scOldIng wife, being
asked what he did for = living, replied
that he "kept ! hot-house
How can | expand my chest? asked
= stingy fellow of physician. BY
carrying large heart n It, was the
reply.
when you fret and fume at the petty
ills of life, remember that the wheels
which 20 round without creaking last
longest.
II il easy to be philanthropic over
other peopie's misfortunes. Any one
can stand the toothache il another fel-
lows jaw.
II rather annoys a woman, after she
has had a child christened some roman
tic Indian name, to learn taat the name
translated means "old boots.
"Billn said Tom to his friend, whose
wife he disliked, "your wife L an ugly
womans w aWell.s replied Bill, that's
her privilege" Yes, replied Tom /;
abut she abuses the privilege" nA
Can you tell why q watch i theimage
of noodestv9 We will save time by tell
inc Won why. It always holds its hands
before its face, and however good It's
works may be it is always runnlr itselI
down.
Woman, who has been looking over
blankets in a Main street store; ell,
| didn't mean to buy. Am Just looking
for a. friend Clerk politely: Don 7
think you'll find your friend among the e,
blankets. We've looked EN- all through.
A "sasiety" gusher, in telling, where
she was going for the summer said; i m
going to Newport, and I'm going to
take INV maid, my nurse, my two dogs
INV children, and-and, oh yes, my nus
band"
The eolorei brethren are down on one
of the city papers because, when one q
the reporters spoke of certain meeting
as a s'sweIl crowd" the paper had II
printed s'smell crowd"
any DEAR" said a sentimental wife,
thome. YOU know, is the dearest spot. on
earth "Well, yes" said the practical
husband. sit does cost about twice a
much as any other spot" ;.
People like to sing about reading theil
title clear to mansions in the skies, bul
thew have no urgent desire to occupy
those mansions and move out OF al
earthly home with heavy mortgage OF
it.
A rival of a certain lawyer sought t
humiliate him publicly by saying, Q!
blacked my fathers boots once.
"Yes," replied the lawyer unabasnea
seand did it well.' And because OF M
habit of doing even mean things Weii' III
rose to greater.
i A blundering compositor, in setting
mn the toast, "Woman without her, MAJ
would be savage" got the punctuation
in the wrong place, which made 1t read
"Woman. without her man, would be
savage.
A South Carolina Baptist church con
tains in its old record the mention OF
woman excluded from the church TO
"doing too much talking in the neigh
horhood.n Such rule universally az
plied whould thin out our churches YER
much.
A certain English general being o.
the noint of death, opened his eyes, an
seeing a consultation OF four physicians
who were standing close by his bedside
family exclaimed: "Gentlemen, II yo
fire by platoons, it's all over with me'
and instantly expired.
Glow are you and your wife comm
ong' asked Galveston man OF a colore
man. "She has run me of, boss.
"What's the matter?" Il is to blam'
boss. | gave her splendid whlte-sil
! dress. and den she got SO proud she ma
no use for me. She lowed l was %
dark to match de dress"
7 Some one put small mud-turtI
about the size of silver dollar, IN
, he'd at a New Jersey hotel, and tn
; stranger who was assigned to that room
, on preparing to retire caught sight OF |
/ He AFT once resumed his clothes, remarl
inp. al expected to have pretty llvel
= niSht of it, but if they're as big as thu
! | don't propose to get in with EN-"
9 DIR. Hawks, an eloquent and popul'
a New York divine, once asked the vestr
{ men of his church to increase his salar
a because of his increased family expense
e Don't trouble yourself, said the yestr
i man, ethe Lord has said he will care T.
a the Young ravens when they cry.
: know that" said the clergyman, "b'
:, nothing is said. about the young Hawks
r A travelling man, noticing Prett
e girl alone in the car went over In h
|, direction, and smilingly asked:
a "Is this seat engaged, miss
q "No, sir, but am, and he is going
It get on at the next station.
), "Oh-ah-indeed--thanks-beg, Pc
1 don" and he picked up his feet, ait
'r stumbling over them, and went into Z
'e smoking-car to be alone awhile.