The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-09-25
NUMBER 80.
Explained at Last.

cient form, with Elder Toots reclin-
ing against the stove at an angle Of
forty-five degrees, and Judge Cada.
yer tryingto borrow razor to thi
down a ca.lous on his heel. Brotl le.
Gardener winked at Samuel Shin 10
open the ventilators and said
"Linchpin jackson, de great orator
of Georgia am in de aunty-roOm.
He desires to address dis meetin OIL
dc subjeck of free trade an proteck.
shun. He has killed two bars, served
in de war, written lots of poetry
made twenty-One speaches, compOscr
a song, an am said to be dc flewen
test speaker Oh airth. He will now
be brungi in an the engine Lam J
lrus' dat each and cherry one of us will
follow his remarks wild de closest ten
shun an lie greatest interest"
Linchpin was brought in by th,
Reception Committee gi5en genera
introduction from the platform and'h,
frightened his belt and pleasantly re-
marked.
"My dear frens, Nero was not mo-
honored by the Italians-Plato not
mo- enthusiastically received by d,
Zulus, an thank you. Yes, l thank
you. Cheers by Judge Cadaver. ]
Instead of meetin' me at de doah wit.
an AK, you has met me wild kind
words am good fellowship. APP
plause by Toots.] has arrovc heal
wild dc intenshun of sequesterin' few
observashuns on de subjeck of FIRE,
trade and proteckshun, an | articu.
late dat my observashun will be sat
istactory to you all. [Groans from
Rev. Penstick
My frens, what does free trade
mean? Does it mean gitten' married
on salary of seben dollars a week
Does it mean soften on de fence an
talkin' pollyticks Does it mean
movin' in de night to save house rent
suspicious glances toward Pickles
Smith No, sab. 1t means dat an
American citizen shall be granted dc
right to cross into foreign kentry to
look fur watermrllyons. 1t, means
dat if 1 can buy dog cheeper in En-.
gland dan l kin at home l may have
de privilege Of gittin on de boat an
gwine ober dar andselectin my caninel
it means dat cull'd man wants
meat or a few groceries de butcher
an de grocer mus chalk 1t down if b,
hasn't de change. 1t means dat dt
price af whitewashin mus 60 up, and
de price of house rent come down
| [Cheers.[ If we had free trade :
tailor would make you good sui
for So aud gin credet fur year
grocers would leave hams an tater'
an balls of eggs out doahs oil night
| Cries of Yum! "yum! Dry good
men wonld send bolts of cotton al
caliker to yer house an beg of you {,
use en- up an pay when you got. rca
Idy. [Sensation.l Free trade mean'
pianers, trottin hosses an golt
watches fur one an all. wild ap
plause.]
Now, my frens, continued the ora
tor, as he unbuttoned his vest an,
braced for new effort, "what an
proteckshun? Proteckshun mean
, two bits dozen fur shirt-buttens
1t means gwinc into barber shol
fur q shave an, tellin de barber yon'l
see him mex week. 1t means dat d
J ole man will hab de cholera morbus
| dc ole oman will be taken wild chill'
an dc chilen will hab mumps a
measles ten months in de year. Pr,
teckshun means watchin melyo
, patch wild a shotgun. 1t mean
). smilin at po man an den refusin I
I trust him fur pound ofboneless COO
fish. Ii means woe, misery, sickness
death, an grave in paupers fielt
Il [Groans,] Sooner dan see my son
proteckshunist would sec him lecl
ted to dc Legislachurl. Applause
Sooner dan see my wife elope wild
, proteekshunist, would see her dres
ed in garnet silk and carlyin a ret
| lined parysall. Yells and whoops
Bewar of proteckshun! Shun it
=. you would all 4April-fool pockctboo
[Applause.
Gem'len of de Lime Kill Club ;
thank you fur dis conceited homo
Whareber l wander whether dow
q in Ohio or up in Wisconsip-m
II thoughts will be of YOU, an de cpickt
of dis gran ole Paradise Hall will ri
in my minds eye, in my swellin hea
: aud tear-drmmed eye will prove II
devoshun to dc ramifications. no
y, bid you good night
A wild storm of applause follow
y during which some one hit Shind
d Watkins blow on the neck viii
a, rendered him unconcious for sew,
minutes, and missiles consisting
i tin spittoons, ash-pans and rotten q
pies sailed through the air frcm Il
Il known souaces. The Rev. Pensto
Is was hit sqaure in the mouth by +
ten apple just ashe was giving "
IS to a wild whoop Of applause. AT
the uproar had quiet, the crater v
& laa..,,,taI tn thn antn r,op, nd nlpf