Kimball enterprise. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1883, 1883-04-20
ABRIDALPARTy.
The bridegroom Tells Strange Stories
Abouta Lot of Mischievous Drum.

From Peckss Sun.
'say, what kind of a hotel do YOU
keep?" said a green-looking man, as he
stepped up to the counter and registered
his name, and added, "and wife, after
it. "Can a Enew married couple settle
down here for two or three DAVIS ard
have a quiet visit with each other and
not be scared out of their boots?"
The hotel mar said thew could 90 right
to their room and stay their three DAYS
or three weeks, and never come 10 their
meals if they didn't want anything to
eat. "But what's the matter? Have Won
been annoyed?" asked the hotel man. Y
Annoyed? That doesn't express it.
We were married day before Yesterday
at St. Paul, and went to a hotel. I live
about sixty miles west of st. Paul, and
the travelling men put up a Job to make
me tired. There were about a hundred
of them showed in at st. Paul, and Iu
be darned if they didn't keep us awake
all night. They knew we were a bridal
couple, and they bribed the bell-bovs
and porters to let them act for them.
and when we rung the bell for the bell,
boy a drummer tor a Chicago cigar facto.
nv came in and wanted to know what
was wanted. I ordered a pitcher of ice.
water, and a Milwaukee drummer for q
grocery house brought it in, and he
looked at my wife, who is bashful and
made her feel real bad. l didn't know
they were drummers until the next day.
or | should have killed some of them, /
rang the bell for coal, and a travelling
salesman who posts railroad cards
around and works up excur-
sions, he came in and fixed the
fire, and stayed and fixed
it for half an hour. and
he had more gail than | aver see. He
asked so many questions about how lone
we had been married that l wanted to
thump him, but my wife said we
didn't want to have no row the first day
we were married. | rung for a cham
bermaid to clean up the room, and
bring some towels, and it was about half
down to the Office to see about my trunk
and the ct,ambermaid stayed about half
an hour n dswas very interesting, and
mys wife said she wasa real pleasant
affectionate sort of a creature, far above
her station, and l tell you 1 was mad
when I found out that it was a smooth
faced, handsome young Jewish drum
mer for a Milwaukee clearinghouse,
who was in with the gang, and he gave
the chambermaid three dollars to
loan him an old dress so that he could
play ichambermaid. When my wife
told me that the chambermaid patted
her her on on w the .s cheek, and
bride that was ever in the hotel, and
asked her for a kiss, and my wife said
she thought it would be no harm to kiss
a poor chambermaid, and encouraged
her, l wanted to kill him and l went to
the Office next morning, but the smooth
faced cuss had gone to Fargo. 1t was all
the landlord could do to hold me. Well,
when we were at supper somebody got
into the room and put cracker crumbs
in Jul bed, and we found a cold OIL
cloth floor mat over the top sheet,
enough to freeze anybody. But the
worst was at night. We had just got
comfortably in bed when there was q
knock at the door, and l got up, and the
Waterman was there, and he said he
wanted to point out to me the frees
and l went out into the hall andihe took
me wav out to the end of the building to
show it to me and while i was looking
out of the window my wife came run
ming down the hall and begging me to
save her. l asked her what wasthe mat
ter, and she said as soon as | went out
a man that looked like a porter anne
into the room and told her to fly and
save herself, and to follow her husband.
She felt awful when she found there was
no trouble, and we got back into our
room half froze. I..have got them fell
lows down fine. The fellow who called
me out to look at the fire escape is a
drummer for a Philadelphia millinery
house, and the one that scared MY wife
out of her wits travels for "a hearse fac
tory at Rochester, N. Y. My wife says
she would know him, because Che has a
biglgray mustache and wear a diamond
collar-button. in his shirt. She said she
thought he was pretty stylishfo for aiporter
at the time. They woke us up several
times in the night 10 tell Us what to do IN
in case we we're sick, and in tie
morning before we were up a waiter
brought lis up u breakfast. He said
the landlord sent it. UP, and hejust stood
around until we had to sit up in
bed and eat breakfast. l thought at the
time that it wa kind in the landlord to
send up our breakfast, but when | found
that the waiter who brought it up was a
travelling man for a reaper factory at
Rockford, and remember how darned
impudent he looked at my wife, l could
have murdered him, but the clerk sad
he had gone to Winnipeg. 1t was just
about as bad coming down here on the
sleeping-car, and Think halfthe passen-
gers on the cars were those same drum
mers that we're showed in. 1t was cold
er than Alaska, and would order extra
blankets, and they would steal them. |
had more than twenty blankets put on
the bed, and in the morning there was
nothing but a sheet over lis. And every
lime there was a blanket spread over us
t here was a different porter put 1t on,
and T think they were all travelling men.
Every little while somebody would
pull open the Curtains and sit down on
nv berth and begin to pull. off his boots,
and | would tell him the birth was oc-
cupied, and that he must have made a
mistake, and he wonld look around at
us innocent as could be, and then ask
the porter. Once | felt somebody feel
ing about my berth, and ask what was
the matter, and the fellow said he was
looking for my wife's shoes to BLACK
Then about every fifteen minutes the
conductor would open the curtains II
hold a red lantern in and ask for ou1
tickets. / think they punched my
ticket sixty-ive times. Any, way II
looked like a porous plaster when l got
up in the morning. l think 1t was
the travelling men who were
playing conductor, but l was sleepy, ano