The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-08-03

times. He ought TO marry the Penn
sylvania widow who has laid away nine
husbands. Itwould be sort of life
saving institution.
b. lives in the country near Paris,
winter and summer, but always after
the 1st of May they meet him on the
boulevard. He explains: 1.-The country
is too crowded. Everybody Is there on
Sunday; SO ! come to get the air OF
Paris"
An ingenious music compositor who
had piece of his work knocked into pi,
squared it up. took off few impress
sions, cut them into strips and collected
$17.42 from neighbors who accepted
them as the regular weekly Chinese
wash bill.
"Goin' fur?" the inquisitive traveller
asked the man on the wood-box. "Well,
yes," he replied, II reckon it's fur
| I'm going to Buffalo," And being thus
pelted with this answer, the inquisitive
man looked as though he wanted to hide
somewhere. But this is turin to the
subject.
Mrs. Carlyle's diary shows that when
the Princess of Wales was engaged to the
future King of England she was a poor
but graceful girl who always wore long
cloaks. Once when she visited Windsor
the Queen said: ~ think you always
wear jacket; how is thatP" "Oh,"
said little Alexandria, II wear it because
it is so economical. You can wear it
with any sort of gown, and you know 1
have always had to make my own
gowns. Ihave never had a lady's maid,
and my sister and / make our own
clothes; l even make my own bonnet. "
The sheriff of Athens county. Ga. who
was visiting recently in the country, got
up during the night to shoot an owl that
annoyed him by its hooting near his
window. The dogs were not used to
such sights as the sheriff presented in
his night clothes, and made a raid on
him and compelled him to climb a tree.
Fearing to raise the house, least the wo-
men should come out to investigate the
trouble, he remained shivering in the
crotch of the tree until the man got up
in the morning and fetched him his
trousers.
Missionary work in West Virginia
is coon hunting. He killed two whop-
ping big 'coons last Sunday" Does he
fear the LordP" Il guess he does,
cause he always takes his gun with
him." "Have you any Presbyterians
round herep" Il dom know if he has
killed any or not. You can go behind
the house and look at the pile of hides
to see if you can find any of their skins "
81 see that you are living in the dark"
"Yes, but my husband is going to cut
winder SOON
At a populous manufacturing town
there was an inhabitant who held good
position as a fish-monger, and being
partial to theatricals, was very kind, and
gave great assistance to the manager
of the Theater Royal. Being anxious to-
make his debut, it was at last arranged
that he should play Polonius for the
managers benefit. that gentleman HIM
self playing Hamlet. The house was
crammed, and the play proceeded until
it came to the lines: "Do you know me,
my lord?" Excellent we'll! you are
fish-mongerr' when the maternal pa
rent of Polonius (being in front, and
thinking the line was a personal insult
to her sony, rose and said: "Well, sir,
if he be fish-monger, he has been very
kind to you, and you We no right to ex-
pose him in public. "-GlasgoO Evening
Times.
A dude went into a New York pho
tographer's, the other day, to get his
picture taken sin character" He ap-
peared in parti-colored garments of
silk, with lilac silk stockings. The
artist "posed" him, and, glancing down
to his feet, exclaimed, "Bless my soul!
do you want me to take these patent
leather bottinesp' "Oh!" said the dude,
mo, not at all. Wait moment, yer
know'-and taking out two pink
rosettes from his pocket, the dude fast
ened them in the insteps of his bottines
and exclaimed: "There you are, yer
know!'' ''May l ask what you repre-
sentp" said the puzzled photographer.
"Ah! 1 am Folly, n't-cher-knowp"
was the reply. But said the photog-
rapher, "Folly is woman" Eyes, of
course; but I'm o male Folly, don't
cher-knowo "-DetrOH Free Press.