Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1883-03-01
His Pa Gets Mad.

|
morning, and saw your ma buying
lot of court plaster, enough To make Il
shirt should think. What's she doing
with so much court plaster" asked the
grocery man of the bad boy, rs he came
in and pulled off his boots by the stove
and emptied out Il lot of snow, that had
collected as he walked through drift,
on the hearth, which melted and made a
bad smell.
30, guess she is going to patch pa
up so he will mold water. Pas temper
got him into the worst muss YOU ever
see, last night. If that museum was
here now they would hire pa and ex-
hibit him as the tattoed man. | tell
you, / have got too old to DO mauled as
though | was kid, and any man who
attacks me from this out. wants to have
his peace made with the insurance COM
panies, and know that his calling and
election is sure, because ! am bad
man, and don't you forget it," And
the boy pulled on his boots and looked
so cross and desperate that the grocery
man asked him If he wouldn't try a little
new cider.
Good heavens said the grocery
man, as the boy swallowed the cider,
and his face resumed its natural look,
and the piratical frown disappeared
with the cider. you have not stabbed
your father, have you. | have feared
that one thing would bring on
another, with you, and that you would
be hung"
Nav, | haven't stabbed him. 1t
was another cat tina: stabbed him. You
see, pa wants me to DO all the work
around the house. The other day he
bought load of kindling wood, and
told me to carry it into the basement.
have not been educated up to kindling
wood, and didn't do il. When sup
per time came, and pa found | had not
carried in the kindling wood, he had
hot box, and he told me if that wood
was not in when he came back from the
lodge, that he would warm my jacket.
Well, tried to hire some one TO carry
il in, and got man TO promise to come
in the morning and carry it in and take
| his pay in groceries, and was going TO
buy the groceries here and have them
charged TO pa. But that wouldn't help
| ilit Oub hHcW NHtl pa
came home he would search for me. So
| slept in the back hall on cot. But
didn't want pa TO have all his trouble for
nothing, so | borrowed an old tom cat
that my chum's old maid aunt owns,
and put the cat in my bed. | thought
| if pa came in my room after me. and
found that by his unkindness that had
! changed TO n tom cat, he would be sor-
~. That is the biggest cat you ever
see, and the worst fighter in our ward.
1t isn't afraid of anything, and can whip
New Foundland dog quicker than you
could put sand in a barrel of sugar.
Well, about eleven o'clock i heard pa
| tumble over the kindling wood, and /
| knew by the remark he made, rs the
wood slid around under him, that there
was going to be a cat fight real quick.
He come up TO mas room, and sounded
ma as to whether Hennery had retired
to his virtuous couch. Pa is awful sar-
| castle when he tries TO be. Icould hear
! him take off his clothes, and hear him
say, as he picked up trunk strap, d
guess | will 60 up to his room and watch
the smile on his face, as he dreams of
angels. | yearn to press him
to my aching BOSOM IL
thought to myself, mebbe you won't
yearn so much directly. He come up
stairs, and l could hear him breathing
hard. / looked out around the corner
| and could see he just had on his shirt
and pants, aud his suspenders were
hanging down, and his bald head shone
like calcium light just before it ex-
plodes. Pa went in my room, and up
to the bed, and could hear him say,
Come out here and bring in that kind |
ling wood, or will start Il fire on your |
base burner with this strap And then |
heard before, and pa said, Helen |
Blazes, and the furniture in my room |
began to fall around and break. o. |
my! think pa took the tom cat right |
| by the neck, the way he does me, and
that left all the cats feet free to get in |
their work. BY the way the cat squawl- |
ed as though It was being choked,
know pa had him by the neck. l sup
pose the cat thought pa was whole |
ock of New Foundland dogs, and the |
cat had record on dogs, and it kicked
awful. Pas shirt was no protection ut |
all in a cat fight, and the cat just walked
all around pas stomach, and pa yelled
| police and fire. and turn on the
hose and he called ma, and the cat
yowled. If pa had had presence of mind
enough to have dropped the cat. or rolled
it up in the mattrass, 1t would have
been all right, but a man always gets
ratified in time of danger, and he held
| onto the cat and started down stairs
yelling murder, and he met ma COM
ing up. guess mas night-cap, or
something, frightened the cat some
more, cause he stabbed ma on the
night-shirt with one hind foot, and
ma said mercy on us, and she went
back, and pa stumbled on hand
sled that was on the stairs, and they
all fell down, and the cat got away
and went down i'm the coal bin
and yowled all night. Pa and ma
went into their room, and guess they
anointed themselves with vaseline, and
Ponds extract, and went and got into
my bed. cause 1t was cold out in the
hall, and the cat had warmed my bed rs
well as it had warmed pa. It was all 1
could do to go to sleep, with pa and ma
talking all night, and this morning
came down the back stairs. and haven't
been to breakfast, cause don't want
to see pa when he is vexed. You'll the
man that carries in the kindling, wood
have six shillings worth of groceries,
and charge them to pa. have passed
the kindlinp wood period In bows life.