The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1882-1884, 1883-06-21

pitch the canned provisions to the
guests. Each guest is furnished with
a can opener. and beside each guest
is former serf, whose business it is
to take each can into bomb proof
and test 1t to see that it does not
contain dynamite. If it does the
serf is blown up, and the empty cars
remove his remains to one of the
stationary morgues about the track,
the same as box stalls at one of our
horse races. The place Of the de-
ceased serf IS filed by another, re
lays of which are kept al the rear,
say ying their prayers. The festivl.
ties proceed. as only one can out of
five is estimated to contain explo-
sivcs. When serf pounds a can of
provisions on the anvil and it does
not bust he hands it to a guest, and
the guest opens it with the royal can
opener, and if his appetite has not
heen injured by the sound of explo
sions. and the sight of the basketful
of deceased serf, which is carried to
the waiting car. he proceeds to fill
up. The tables are inside of each
other. and coil of water pipe runs
around over the whole eleven miles
of table, with a faucet at each guests
plate, by which he can turn on the
wine to suit his taste. Every seven
minutes there will be new kind of
wine placed in the reservoir. and it
will flow all. around and be- drank
before another kind is substituted.
The outside of these water pipes
will be utilized to send around
strings of sausage. which are hung
rings over the pipe. The front saus-
age will be attached to a dog, with a
string of sausage, say forty yards
long, and the dog will be set after a
live rabbit, or perhaps a fox, which
has been trained to run around
raised roadway on the table. and
other dogs follow the first dog, haul.
ing strings of sausages, until enough
hounds have started to furnish link
of sausage for each guest. AS the
uogs pass along the guests reach out
and pick, off sausage, and as they
peel off the ulster and eat it, they
can watch the sport. Care has been
takeE, we are informed, in selecting
the dogs. to place the fastest dogs i'll
tue lead, so that no accident can
happen to the rear dog running over
one ahesd of him, creating smash
up. by teleseoping, or breaking the
connection of the sausages. 1t is
said that the dogs have been in
training since last 4th of July, run
ming with sansages, and they have
got to understand what is desired of
them, though the wear and tear OF
the sausage hassmaie it necessary
to upholster them, anew with the
same material. Everything is to
move jnst like clock-work. For in
stance, in the matter Of pie..s. The
pies are. made in tue shape of saw
logs, and at each gnsats' plate is a
knife something like aguillitdhe,, OF
perhsps more like buzz saw. rhe
logs of pie ere started around Che
tables on train, with the end Of the
log sticking out If car SO 1t will
touch the saw and cut off pie
which drops on the table in front Of
the guest. The crust is around the
outside. or rim, instead of being
made with a sole and an upper like
our American boarding house pie
and the crust must necessarily bt
somewhat tough to stand the racke
of being sawed off at the rate of forty
miles an hour. but it is believed th'
pies will give general satisfaction
The serving Of the ice cream will b.
a triumph of the gunner's art. Slug
of ice cream are to be made rifed
to exactly fit the bore Of six pouno
1guns, and target the same size o
the ice cream slug Is to be placed il
front of each guest, a little to tn,
left of his head. and at a given sigma
the artillery Of Russia, stationed t.
command every guest, will belcl
forth ice cream, and so we'll trainet
are the Cars artlllerists that it il
), believed not a single slug of ic
cream will miss its mark. Of cours
it will stand guests in hand to 81
erect, when the signal is given, 81
that the ice cream will pass owe
their shoulders and nit the mark, a
it would be little unpleasant t.
have such a cold missile fire,
/, through a mans head or down hi