The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-08-31
WITTICISMS
Even the quietest woman can make
a hustle when she takes a notion TO.

Even the quletest woman can make
a hustle when she takes a notion to.
TIE impecunious man who married
an heiress always spoke Of her as a
capital wife.
He said her hair wa dyed; and when
she Indignantly said: "'Tis falsel' he
said he lGesumed SO.
Sullivan made more by striking"
in fifteen minutes than the brother
hood have in two weeks.
Somebody has been bright enough
TO say: -Langtry and Gebdhart-the
lily of the valley and the valet of the
lily.
why would you dislike to be an
auctioneerP" asked Ralph. because
bis profession is for-bidding," replied
Will.
"What'er you doing with that cigar,
you little rascalP" exclaimed a father,
addressing his son. ma said that if
/ hit the cat again she'd make me
smoke, and l hit her again an am
smokin,.'
Mrs. Summereeze's new girl was told
to watch the turnover a few minutes /;
when the lady returned the turnover
was burned to a crisp, and the girl re-
marked, "Sure I've watched it, mum
but it hasn't turned over yet" -at.
Oklahoma Payne is bound to 60 into
the 1ndianterritory. Why doesn't he
go down into the Aapache Indian ter
ltory? There is no law against it and
everybody would be glad to see him go.
Especially the Indians, and particular
ay the white men.
An ambitious Burlington woman or.
-dered q new poke bonnet: make the
bonnet as big as the price" In about a
week a hay wagon, having scared all
the street cars off the track or its way
drew up and halted in front of heI
house with a thing on it so much big
ger than the block, that the woman
couldn't keep it in town without pay
ing storage to the city.
A Texas paper tells this cheerful tale
of the experimental school of medicine
"a woman anne to a prominent physi
clan and asked for a remedy for hel
husbands rheumatism. The doctor
gave her a prescription ard said: Ge'
that prepared at the drug store ant
rub it we'll over your husbands back
If it does any good, come back and LEI
me know. I've got a touch of the rheu
matism myself"
"Boss, will you tell me how to maxi
root beer? asked a colored man of
clerk in a Woodland avenue drug store
a day or two ago. "N by, yes, l can
Take a hickory stick, three gallons o
water, an old hat, a quart of molasses
a paper of tacks, and a pound of cay
enne pepper and boil, skim, and set in
cool place." "Say dat agin, boss, so
disremember." The clerk repeated hi
directions, and the customer brough
his fist down on the counter with tn
exclamation: II sees whar' l spile'
my huh batcht l left out de tacksr
A mar in Massachusetts was sent +
reform school for breaking window
and stealing apples when he was MIN
years old; then he stole a dog and wen
to prison when he was eleven; he 90
out N time to set fire to a house an,
get a two years sentence before h
was sixteen and picked a pocket and wa
run in on his nineteenth birth day. b
fore he was old enough TO vote he II
ceived a years sentence, and since the
he has served three terms in as man
prisons. 1t is time he quit this restless
wandering life, and found some goO'
quiet prison that suited him, where h
could settle down and stay.