The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1883-02-01
OHIO CIDER.

flood Words
OHIO CIDER.
The Mischief that slumbers In the
Innocent Raisin.
John SSnder in S.. Louis Post Dispatch.
II never knew" said the parson,
"whether somebody played a trick on
the deacon or not. He was a pretty
close-mouthed old fellow; rather proud
of his shrewdness and not apt to pub
lish the fact if anybody got the better OF
him in trade"
But this wasn't a trade, was it?" ask ell
one Of the trustees.
NO" responded the parson, with a
ghost Of twinkle in his right eve.
.'No, it was a present the deacon got
from relatives Of his out west; out in
Central Ohio. They sent him a barrel
ofspIendid new cider"
"Tell us abont the trick, DOCTOR"
"Well don't know that it was trick. ;"
said the parson, dropping into a warm
chair by the crate. "But it was a very
funny bit Of experience the deacon had.
Fla! hal These folks of his sent him this
CIDER and sent him letter saying that it
made the best bottled cider in the world
telling him that all he had to do was to
pour the cider into small bottles and
drop u raisin into each bottle ius: before
he fastened in the cork. Well, Hezekiah
followed the directions very carefully.
and piled the bottles in that little cellar
OF his Just back Of the furnace. Ofcourse
the cider went very slowly, as the dea-
cons family is quite small. Besides, he
had notion that this cider, being extra
fine, ought to be kept for company or
Christmas or mince pies, and what not.
So it was lying in the cellar two or three
mouths. One evening my wife and N.Y.
self dropped in to spend the evening
with the deacon. My wife said she
hadn't been there for five or six months.
and SO Mrs. Chace wouldn't be satisfied
with a mere formal call. Deacon was
delighted to see us-dear old felIow-he
just bca.ned with hospitality. Told his
wife to bring in some Of her special COM
pany doughnnts, and said he was going
to open bottle of that splendid Ohio
cider. Well, | demonstrated with him:
told him he had better keep the cider
for real company as we felt like mem
bers ofthe family, you know. Facts, l
thought the cider must be pretty hard
in spite Of the raisins, and hard cider al
ways gives me little fit of indigestion.
But Deacon wouldn't take any excuse.
lie was bound to open some ofthat Ohio
cider. So he brought out three bottles.
MY wife was talking with Mrs. Chace
abont calling OH the new folks-the
Browns-that had Just come into town
from Warren. Her face was turned
away from the deacon, who stood by the
table chatting with me and twisting the
wire Oft one Of the corks."
"Oh, yes" said the deacon. II knew
the Browns long before they went to
Warren: The old man used to do bust
ness in Providence, and Julius Cae-
sar, what's that?" The cork flew out of
the bottle as if it had been shot out of a
gun, just skinnin2 the end of the dea-
cons nose on its way to the ceiling. NV
wife turned quickly as she heard the
deacon's quick exclamation, aid the
cider docking like churned soap suds)
caught her fnll in the eyes. Being q
woman OF great presence Of mind as you
know, she jumped on her irand began
TO scream Fire" The rest of the ci.
der was playing like fountain over her
new silk dress, for the deacon was so
dazcd that he stood holding ont the
bottle at arms length. suppose it was
sinful under the circumstances, but I
fell back on the sofa and laughed till /
cried, even if that silk dress was spoiled.
There wasn't a drop left in that bottle
when the fountain stopped playing. I
wish | could have had a photograph of
the old deacon as he stood holding Il
out at arms length. Ha! Ha! Hal" And
the lmrson laughed heartily ut the recol.
lection.
by this time," continued the parson,
1.-THE deacon g blood was up. No use to
say we didn't care for the cider just be-
fore going to bed. Some of this cider
said. twas a tride lively, but he didn't
believe there was another one like that
in the whole lot. But he grasped the
other bottle little more firmly, pressed
his thumb On the cork and began to pry
off the wire. Mrs. Chace was down on
her knees trying with dry towel to
spectabl ;, and noticed that my wife be-
gan to edge over into the corner and
wink her eyes as one does who expects
to hear a cannon 60 of. Quick as a
fash deacon turned the neck of the bot
tie into glass as the cork few across
the room and stirred up the cat, and al
most every drop of that cider danced out
of the glass onto the parlor tablecloth.
About two tablespoonfuls stayed in the
tumbler.
"Hadn't I better get the umbrella,
Hezekiah, If you are going to open any
more?"' said Mrs. Chace, in that patient,
meek way of hers. without the slightest
favor of fun in her voice.
YES" said" deacon, with little trifle
OF irritation in his tone. Better have
the Salvage Corps come, hadn't you?"
"After had smoothed down my voice
intqtolerable composure. I suggested
that If the deacon was going to continue
the experiment he had better 60 into
the garden, where the lrrepresslDle
cider might gallop around in less ex-
pensive fashion! .Deacon's wife began
to say that she thought the hired man
had better 20 along in case Of accidents,
but I quietly nudged her arm, and she
held her peace. Strange thing, isn't it,
that the best wife in the world will often
rasp mans feelings more than his Bit
terest enemy can do! Well, deacon
went out alone with the cider. We
heard a loud report which my wife said
she hoped wouldn't raise the neighbors,
and when he came back he had the glass
nearly half full fielder. The old lnan
looked flushed and unhappy, az il he
had confided his private feelings to the
cider in q more earnest manner than he
was accustomed to do with his pastor.
| was actually aching to get out into the
street where I could laugh it out. So
pronouncing it superb. wife and hur-
ried out of the house."
''When on Wednesday evening, after
prayer meeting. Deacon Hezekiah insist
ed that l should drop in as I was going
home, and taste that cider"
But, deacon" said. 'the last time I
saw that cider it acted like evil spirits