Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1883-10-11
Hoe 10 Care u Cold.
MARK TWAIN.

The first time began to sneezs. a friend
told ne ts % snd ba,he my feet in hot
water and 20 to bed. did so. Shortly
rller smother friend told me to get up and
take cola shower bath. | did that also.
Within the hour aa a)ther friend assured mo
shst it was policy to feed s cold and starye
fere.. Lad both. So thought it best
80 sll lsyselfvp for the cold. and let tho
ieyo. stsIys awhile. In case Of this kind
seldom do shihg, by halves; ! ate pretty
heartily. ! conferred my custom upon
s.ranger, who bid Just opened his restau-
rant OF Cor,landt street, near the hotel, thas
morning, paying so much for full meal.
lie waited nesr me in respectful silence
sntl lad finished feeding my cold, when
ke inquired if the people about New YORK
VeEe riuch afflicted with colds. told him
;Loaghl thsy were. lie then went out and
took in his sign.
starts! up toward the o.Bee, and on tho
way encountered another bosom friend, who
told re that u Ggar: Of warm salt water
would come as near esrirg cold as any
thing in she world hardly thought l had
room for it, bat tried it anyhow. The re-
salt xss surprising believe | threw up
py iIailos;ll soul. Now, as / give my e1-
peries.s for the benefit of those Of your
friends Who are troubled with this distemp-
e., fs.l that they will see the proprie'y OF
my c2utioaing them against following such
portion. Of i; - proved inefficient with me
and acting upon tkis conviction warn them
against warm salt water 1t may be good
enough remedy, bat LAink it is rather TOO
severe. IfIbsd sn9.he- cold in the head,
apd tsere xss no cosgse left me % taks
si;scr an earthquake or a quart Of warm salt
water would take ny ctasceson on the earth
quake. Ahor this everybody 10 the hotel
became interested aai took all soFts of
renseG.G-kei lemonade, cold lemonade,
pepper tea, boaesst, siewed quaker, bore
hosni syrup, onions and loaf sugar, lemons
aud brown ssssr, usegsr ss5 lsuianuln,
eve bottle. b4l.sa. eight bottle cherry poc'
toral. aud .-a bottles OF Uncle Sans remedy
but al without caecs.
one sftL prescriptions given me b. en-
old lady wss-well, IL rss dreadful. Sho
mixed dec tirn conpo.cd oimolasses, cat
uip. peppermint, scsuaiortis, turPeniine,
koso.e,.. snd yar.oss other dEugs, and In
.lrucied ne to take winegllssfdl Oft every
fifteen minutes. never took but one dose
that va, enough / had to take 10 my bed,
and remain ihere for two entire days.
Wien / TEX lit;le better, more things were
recolr mcsdei. ! w,s desperate, aud will
ing 70 '1ke anything. Plain gin was re-
commanded, ihsa gin and molasses, then gia
and o4ious | took MI three. de-
tec,ed no particular result however,
except that bad acquired breath
ike turkey buzfard, aud had to
change ny boarding place. At this new
place ihey suggested different remedy to
anv vet tried had never refused a rem
edv yet sad il seemed poor policy to COM
nence then; therefore determined TO take
q sheet bath, though ! had no idea what
sort Of Al arrangement it was. 1t was adj
miri.teEed at niini sht, and the weather
wss very frosty. My back and breast were
stripped, and . sheet there appeared to be
a thousaui yards Of III soaked in ice wsier
was wound around me until ! rescm5led
swab for = columbiad Il was q cruel cxpe-
dent When the chilly rags touches ones
warm Aesh il makes him start with sudden
violence snd gap for breath, ju.t as men do
in the death sgoDy. II 'roze tho marrc"
in ny bones snd stopped the beating Of my
heart though, my time had come. when
I recovered froa this, friend recommended
.he application ofa mustard plaster 10 my
breast. believe that would have cured
ne e5ectually fit had not been for young
Clements when went 70 bed ! pat tho
mustard plaster where could reach itwhen
| should be ready for it. Bat young Glenn
er,s got hungry in The night and ate It up
never saw sny child have such an appo-
tite. aia confident that be would have
eaten me if had been healthy.
tyOTYfEY eWsNyg IrORH cYRTP