The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-06-22
wITTICISMs.
is no music in a bat hand.

OCCASION 10 puollsu IL.
-Sons Of IrelandI" shrieks 0'Gunno.
van Rosa, "are you menu Just listen
to that; as though he expected them to
be women.
"Neyer engage in anythingyou would
not open with prayer" says an OrthO-
dox divine. We suppose especial ref
erence is had to lack pots"
did you dust the furniture this
morning, Maryg" asked the mistress.
mo, ma'am," replied Mary; lit didn't
need it; it bad all the dust on it that it
could hold"
"Now then, witness, SAID the cross
examining counsel, steruly "does the
proceeding witness enjoy your entire
confidence 2" Great Scott, no! Why,
that's my wife.
The purveyor of the Philadelphia
Telegraph complains that the mania
for ad%ulteratIon is so great that you
can't buy aquart Of sand and be sure
that it is not half sugar.
When ali elephant has a cold they
give HIM five gallons Of whlskey, and
the Philadelphia News thinks this is the
reason why some men who have been
to see the elephant carry such a pecu-
liar odor about them.
Recent dispatches about the star
route case say BRADY left the witness
stand" A sigh of relief goes up all
over the country. There was a general
apprehension that he would steal it.
It's a way he has.
The happiest period of a woman's
life is when she is making her wedding
garments. The saddest is when her
husband comes home late at night and
yells to her from the front door to throw
out a handful of key holes of different
sizes.
The new law in Kentucky fixing n
mile as the legal distance between a
church and a saloon was passed for the
purpose of ascertalning how rapidly a
Kentucklan can get yer the ground
Some great bursts of speed are reported
as having occurred.
At a cross road on the Central Iowa
railroad, there is a ~sIgnboard with the
warning: mo animals allowed to cross
here unaccOmpanied." What an inter-
esting matter it would be to see a COW
walk up and read thesign and turn and
o~bediently walk back.
An elephant travelling with a great
moral show at GAINESVILLE, Ga, was so
enraged because a man give it a plug of
tobacco. that 1T killed the donor with
one blow of its trunk. If it was the
kind OF tobacco they usually chew in
Georgia, the man deserved to be killed.
The epitaph that went upon a tomb
stone of a nan in Arizona who loved
his n~eighbors' not wisely but too well,
and who was vicious in a dozen other
directions, it will be remembered, read
as follows: "He was pretty mean in
some respects-but then he was mean
er in others.
Capt. R. Y. King the cattle king Of
Texas, whose pastures comprise the
county of Nuces and a portion Of Du-
val being about 100000 acres of well
watered land, whose herds number So
900 cattle, 10000 horses and $4,000 sheep,
is negotiating a sale Of tho entire pro-
perty to Col. Hancock Of Austin, and
an English syndicate for 100000
At a recent Sunday school picnic a
thunder storm came up, and the light
ing struck very cal. The good pastor
called out assuringly: Don't be
frightened. God will be with us in the
storm as we'll as the calm" II know
that" remarked a young, with chatter
ing teeth and trembling voice; but I
don't like to have Him come 50 sud-
den"
A physician says that a woman who
has a great secret and dare not tell it,
can be made really i'll by keeping it. A
few days ago a number Of women or
ganized a lodge Of the Legion Of Honor
said to be the first lodge composed of
females. The order has its secrets, and
we suppose that by this time nearly all
the people in the district know the pass.
word and distress word, or else all the
members Of the lodge are sick.
Gone where the woodbine twineth
This expression is said to owe its
origin to the Col. Fisk. When he was
before the committee on Banking and
Currency, giving evidence as to the
great gold conspiracy, he was asked
where the money had gone. Thinking
the expression "Up the spout" too
slangy, and recollecting that during his
country trips he had observed a wood.
bine twining round the spout of al
most every house or cottage, he ans
wered, "Gone where the woodbine
twineth."
you mustn't touch the top of baby's
head" said a mother to her little four
year-old. "She has a soft spot there,