The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1883-02-03
A BENEVOLENT EPISTLE.
ADAPTED TO
ADAPTED TO
"A HUNGRY REPORTER.

l. who, ambitious that these brats, m
rhymes,
Should see the light of these eventfu
times,
And, scorning higher themes, with sor
rowing eyes,
nehold from naught aspiring editors rise
"ho' on such subjects sweetly deign t,
shine,
Attune once more, to printers song Thu
line.
Not printer simply, but doughty autocrat
/ he local editor of Tile Dem0crat.
Inc man of flowing beard. of venom full
VINO last week beloved like a maddened
bull;
pay goddess, could simple locaI stripe,
Make him SO furiously kick round the
type?
Spin round his sanctum like a buzzino
top.
AND shake , to its roof the Democratic
or, 'e"s 1t "dtgestton Of q Grauger's din
h"tS'"g the ole wtthM this hoary sinner
Jet, son OF ink, devoutly let us hope,
." io'e felglon more than Granger s
soup.
Else to the devil you make a weak con.
cession,
Belle your faith, dishonor your profess
sion.
Now lloeious 'dyspeptic,-never have 1
That thou vert not an honest man in
trade.
whether from principle, or selfsbness.
springs thy mOrality,-I dare not uuess
Since dread of birthstone, and offended
law,
Keep many graceless rogue in pious
awe.
Say not make mathematic puzzle.
Guessing the depth of thy unmeasnrad
guzzle,
Or wondering what draft of we'll cooked
fowl
Would, on the average, stop thy journal
istic growl;
How much of beef, on rib, or from the
can,
Would leave a Glance for any other man:
Or how much pudding, steaming hot or
cold.
Would your old stomach generally hold.
Say not SANDER greatness, cen of outlet:
KNOW rooster old from tender pullet.
reverence genus, where'er it grows
Yours is for eating-that every body
Except tobacco,-thy tiny cud it's story
tells
The more you chew it, the more it swells.
w hen 'er your classic phiz beams Ger a
dish
VI Granger dainties. or Colchester fish.
Provisions rise, demand exceeds supply.
up goes the prlce, dozen goes Your land
lords eye
Free grace. free dinner, there's marie in
the sound
See how his eyebrows snap,-and ylapc-
ing round
What long denied, of each sweet dish to
taste;
When .flled,-he signs, amid the general
waste.
Blame not thy bard, thou man of batter
ed pride,
" no, taking not Dame Prudence for thy
guide,
)ids't stone The Wigs new mansion
like an ass,
forgetting that thine own was made of
glass.
\now, great historian(?) passion makes
man a swine,
Know this, if nothing else, and make the
lesson thine.
ruth need not blush. like you when ask
ed to dine.
llnce 'er one dish, and swallow nine.
sesldes: proverb, suited to nv wish.
Declares. that-swearing never catches
fish
'esldes. you are churchman,-I saw it
oer,-
low keep your temper, man, and snarl
no more.
het up your grinders rub up your front
of brass,
-eep appetite resistless ne er let free
dinner pass;
GU IL raise to genius yet, pyramid of
glory,
hen |, in higher strain, will tell the
story.
MORAL:
epent thy follies, thy libels cease in.
diting;
ct, if thou suffer from the mu,,ge of
writing,
hen write of crammtng, turkey, duck,
or goose.
or that you understand, -Mat book
would b. of use.
nd when, with evil eye, you suuint
across the street,
own on your knees, an honest PRAYER
repeat
nd ask the Lord, who he er o'erlooks
the mean,
pity your old heart and make it clean:
purge your soul of lying, spleen, and
evil,
lat make thee easy kinsman of the
devil,
malice, venom, envy, hate, and guile,
lat make thee eEvious, uncharitable
and vile.