Connecticut western news., 1883-11-28
WIT AND WISDOM.

AS e"SeS AAAAS !" S1S'Ss
 THE censure of those that are oppo- site to us is the incest commendation that can be given to us.
 MANY young man who works hard during the day allows his hands to go to waist during the evening.
 THE man who thinks big necktie will hide 8 dirty collar must think that people are collar blind. d.--Erchangc
 ''HE who has Q thousand friends has not a friend to spare,
 And he who has one enemy shall meet him everywhere"
 'I WILL stake my opinions against any man's." said MT. Littlewait, proudly. 'T got 'em from my lawyer and they cost me $25O."
 To BE happy, the passion must be chee rful and gay, not gloomy and mel ancholy. A propensity to hope and joy is real riches; one to fear and sorrow, real poverty.
 A TENDER conscience is an inestima- ble blessing; that is, conscience not only quick to discern what is evil, but instantly to shun it, as the eyelid closes | itself against mote.
 AS THEY who, for every slight infirm- ity, take physic to repair their health, do rather impair it; so they, who for every trifle, are eager to vindicate their character, do rather weaken it. AN old soldier in Milwaukee has been asleep nearly month, all efforts to rouse him proving futile. He must have served on the police force after leaving the army.
 LovEnADY is the name of Texas town where two roughs cut MT. Mont ginger to pieces while his wife and child stood by pleading for his life. A name doesn't mean much, in Texas.
 "Is YOU gwine to get an overccat this winter ?" asked a Bowery boy of com panion. 'Well, I dunno how dat's gwine to be-" he replied. "I's done got my eye on coat, but de fellah dat owns it keeps his eye on it, too"
 QUITE a number of cases where girls have been deceived by mock marriages have been reported of late, which impels
 Tue Hotel MdiL to remark that no girl
 has any business marrying man that
 she hasn't known at least ten minutes. A HEN farm, stocked with over 1000
 fowls, is to be started in Thomasville, Ga. People in the vicinity who own l gardens will be kept in sweat, won't , they2 Think of what flock of six hens can do in & garden, and then , imagine the deeds of 1000.
 THE Toronto Globe finds in list of 2 the millionaires of New York the name of one who used to be printer in the } office of that paper at $1.25 week. This must be the intelligent compost
 tor" whom we have all heard of but have
 never seen.
 IT IS currently reported that a rich young lady of Erie, Pa., is going to marry Hamilton Mccormick, of Chi . cago. We deem it our solemn duty to inform the bride that her prospective 3 husband is the inventor of @ threshing
 machine.
 A BOSTON paper relates that an old ! gentleman from the country who visited | that city the other day and had nevel p been in 6 large town before, remarked !: after making tour of the business sec tion 1T don't like this Boston. There isn't enough out-of-doors to it. z "A PHILADELPHIA scientist can tell ! on examining hair pin, the color of tho s owners hair" And 0 Philadelphia woman, on examining hair found or ' the shoulder of her husbands coat, cal = tell whether he has lied or not-and sh' is not a scientist, either.-NosrSstos0'
 Herald.
 A RICH miser has 8 niece whom h' proclaims to be his unique heiress, bu if who has never seen any of his money d "Your niece is twenty years old, says q friend, "you ought to do something # toward getting her settled" "Wel, ,- replied the miser, after reflection, :" f. will pretend to be ill.,"
 "How MUCH do you think you can ge
 along op, my son? want to allow yt'
 enough to make decent appearance Il
 society, but yet will not countenanc B. extravaganza" "Just my idea, dad C. think, say, about $1O, ,OOO year and to er-expenses, you know, would be abou L. the thing" -.... ot ONCE more the buckwheat batter is battered le battered, battered,
 And maidens' fair complexions are shattered n. shattered, shattered, r. As they cat the pancake luscious bro't frol
 kitchen, kitchen, kitchen,
 And their tender epidermis gins to itcher 'o itchen, itchen.
 A' ssI BELIEVE I'll have to reduce you .. wages, John," said miserly employe "s "s to one of his help the other day. "Whs T.. n for?" was the query. Because thing ~ are coming down. The necessaries C
 life are cheaper, and you can afford t ~ get along on smaller pay" "I shout
 like to know what necessaries of life ar
 cheaper" said John "beef is as hig
 as ever, flour hasn't dropped cent, an 1g coal is as dear as ever." "Well," sai in the employer, as he turned away, "i he any rate, the price of postage stamp is- has been reduced one-third." on MUTEs.-The Philadelphia Press say e. the theory that the intermarriage
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