Milford chronicle., 1883-02-16
WIT AND WISDOM.

love to her
IT costs two thousand dollars to give a
high-toned german in New York The
Baltimore Nesrs thinks that when poor
people want to be in style they probably
give a low dutch
A PrrTsBURa firm have Brought out a
new masculine hat, which they have
christened the Jersey Lily. Tt
wouldn't be economy to invest in such
hat 1t is too easily mashed
A LOVER in neighboring town bet his
girl that he could tell what she was
thinking Of He thought she was think
ing of him, but she wasn't. She was
studying how to make over an old dress
so as to make it look new.
IT is said that the natural beauties Of
the Yellowstone Park are being defaced
and destroyed by visitors. This comes
Of driving away the Indians, who we're
in the habit of scalping desecrating tour
lists.
An old bachelor, leaving his boarding
house for a weeks journey, after taking
leave of his landlady. stepped up to a
salt mackerel on the table, shook him by
the tail and said " Gocd-by, old fellow;
I'll see you when l return.
IT'S rather embarrassing for a shop
keeper to be obliged to bluff a tax asses
sor on the valuation of his stock, and on
being burned out that night have to face
this same man rs chairman of an under
writers committee on valuation.
A SMALL boy in Maine listened de-
murely to the story of Samson's tying
fire-brands to the tails Of foxes and then
sending them through the Philistines'
corn, and at the conclusion Of the mar
rative, asked innocently; Aunty, did it
pop"
IT is said that the lady whom Secre-
tary Folgef is to marry is worth $780,
600 in government bonds. Her other
name is not given; but we understand
why the Secretary wants to convert her
s1O0, 600 into matrimonial bonds Nor
rtsto,on Herald.
NEVER despise small things. The mos
quito that sings sweetly by your bed
side becomes a power when it gets its
work in. The little tack that lies 30
meezly on the floor may turn in aii un-
guarded moment and make you howl with
pain.
A KEEN student Of human nature must
have written the following; "When you
see young man sailing down street
shortly after midnight with collarmashed
down his neck, You can make mp your
mind there's young girl crawling up
stairs not far distant, with her shoes un-
Ter her arm and an extinguished lamp in
ler hands. -
The shooting season has set in, and
he average boy begins to worry the life
,ut Of his parents for a gun, with which,
n all human probability, the boy will
ither cripple himself or somebody else.
said Johnny Fizzletop, 'can't
-ou spare money enough to get me
,un ?" "My son, when l can spare
10Y I'll get You a gun.
He stood on the post-ofice corner, and
verybody knew him as a newly-married
lan. He had a far-away look in his
YES and a bit Of yarn on each Of the last
wo fingers of his hand, and kept NUT
erine to himself, "Chopping-bowl, eggs,
lothes-liue-that's the thumb and the
rst two fingers. Now, what did she
ant on the other two fingers &?
FORTUNATE ADonPHUs. by Jove!'
reclaimed Adolphus, stroking the capil
nv suggestions on his superior lip, "the
flows say that a mustache hides the
,nresssion Of fellows face and they're
1 going to shave before taking part in
mr. tbeatricals." ''How fortunate T.
as the sympathetic reply Of Julia,
you won't have to shave, will you p
oston Transcript
IT was Just too delightful, . exclaimed
,e happy girl. as she came bounding
to her mothers presence with glowing
,eeks and sparkling eyes. II never
lioyed a sleigh-ride so much in all my
3. "But the air was so keen, Eliza,
hope YOU kept your muff to your face.
Mother, returned Eliza, turning upon
n venerable parent pair Of eyes that
ere incapable OF assembling, I will
It deceive youl Charley's moustache
rs warmer than the muff.
song FOR THE BABY.
Put away the bauble and the bib,
Smooth out the pillows in the crib,
Softly on the down
Lay the babys crown.
Warm around It's feet
Tuck the little sheet
Snug as pea in pod.
With yawn and a gap,
And dreamy little nap,
wewin go, we win 60,
To the Landy-andy-pandy
OF Noddy-oddy-podd
To the Landy-andy-pand
OF Noddy-pod.
There in the shadow makers tent
After the twilights soft descent,
Wen lie down to dreams
OF milk in flowing streams,
And the shadow makers baby
VIII lie down with us, may be,
On the soft, mossy pillow Of the sod.
In a browse and doze,
All asleep from head to toes,
We win lie. we viii lis-