Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-01
The VICTIM OF A VIRTUE.
BY JAMES PAYN.

am one of those persons, envied for
three months in the year and pitied for
nine, who olive little way" out of
London. In the summer, our residence
is a charming one; the garden especially
Is delightful and attracts troops of Lon
don friends. They are not only always
willing to dine with lis, but drop in of
their own motion and sta7 for the last
tram to town. The vague observation
"any fine day." Or the more eyasive
phtase "some fine day." used in COM
piimentary invitations, are then very
dangerous for us to employ, for we are
taken at our word, just as though we
meant it. This would be very crafty
ing, however expensive, if it only hap
pened all the year round. But from
October TO June nobody comes near us.
In reply to our modest invitations we
then receive such expressions of tender
regret as would convince the most skep-
teal 9 a previous engagement, in
disposition of our youngest born, "the
horses II, some catastrophe or other,
always prevents our friends from enjoy
ing another evening with us like that
charming one they spent last July"
They hope, however, to be given the
same happy chance again, "when the
weather IS little less inciement," by
W N they mean next summer. as for
CO ing to dine with us in winter. thew
VIII see Us further firstly which they
mean nearer first. Sometimes at their
own boards We hear this stated, though
OF course without any intentional appli-
cation. Some guests will observe to us,
apropos of dinners, cit is most extra
ordinary how people who live half a
dozen miles out Of town will attempt to
ignore the seaaons and expect us to 90
and dine with them, just as if it was
August, through four feet of snow. It
does really seen-as Jones, our excellent
host, was saying the other day the very
height OF personal conceit."
As we have occupied our present resi-
dence Tor some years, We have long had
the concei5 taken out of US but we have
still our feelings. Our social toes are
not absolutely frost-bitten, and when
thus trodden upon, we are aware OF the
circumstance. It grieves us to know
what Jones has thought land said) Of us,
and my wife drops a quiet tear or two dur
ing our drive home in the brougham. 1
am bound to confess it is rather long
ride. [ find myself dropping asleep be-
fore we have left brick and mortar be-
hind US, and as VIC cross the great COM
mon near our home [ feel a considerable
chapGa IN the temperature. It is a
heauC.frl, breezy spot, with a lovely
View III summer time; the playground
OF rho butterfiy and the place Of the bee;
bUt ia the winter it is cold enough.
IL the daytime there is nobody there
q I'll. In the evening, at uncertain in
ter'als, there is the patrol. In the old
tirrs it used to be favorite haunt of
the Knights OF the Road; during whose
pip Il, by-the-by, L should fancy that
those Who lived in the locality found it
ven more difficult to collect their friends
"und them than now. It has still q
lad name for tramps and vagabonds,
winch makes my wife n little nervous
when the days begin TO "draw IN" and
our visitors TO draw of. She insists
upon my going over the house before
retiring 10 rest every night sad making
a report of "All's we'll" Be ng myself
NOT much over i've feet high in my boots,
and considerably less III my slippers On
which [ am won't to make these pere.
grinations), 1t has often suggested itself
To my mind that it would be more iaCi-
c.ous TO leave the burglars to do Their
wOtst, rs regards the plate and things.
anI not risk what is ITO me) much more
vahu&bie. OF course [ could "hold the
lives OF half dozen men n my hand :"
d quotation from my favor1te author
by merely arming myself with
loaded revolver; but the simple
fact IS, | am SO unski!led in the use
of any weapon (unless the umbrella
eau be called such) that I should be
gust as likely 10 begin with shooting
number one (that is myselD as number
two, the first ruffian.'' ''Never will
ingly, my dear, says to Julia Twill
l shed the life blood of any human
being. and least Of all my own" On
the other hand, as L believe in the force
OF imagination, l always carry, Oh these
expeditions, in the pocket Of my dress
ing gown, child's pistol-belonging to
our Infant, Edward John-which looks
hk'' zeal one, and would, I am per-
suadtd, have all the effect of real one
III my hands without the effect of per-
son;l pert. "Miserab ruffians," had
maize up my mind to say when coming
npon the gang, ''your lives are in my
power," (here exhibit the pistols butt),
. hnt OFT of perhaps mistaken Glenn
ency viii only shoot one of you, the
one that is the last TO leave my house. I
shall count six, (or sixteen, according
to the number of the gang), "and then
fire. Upon which they would, I cal
cuiat@l, all s!e'l:: Idle helterpalter to
the 10 y they goS in at. which l should
lock AID double-lock after them. You
may ask, "why doable-loek?' ont you
will get no satisfactory reply. I know
no more what to "double lock" means