The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1883-01-27

them, and then ma saw the ketch-
up brains oozing out of his head,
and she screamed, and the minis
ter said, good heavens, he is muir
dered, and Just then | came in the
back door and they sent me after
the doctor, and they put pa on the
lounge, and tied up his head with
a towel to keep the brains in, and
pa bcgao to snore, and when the
doctor came in it took them half an
hour to wake him, and then he was
awful sick at the stummick. and ma
asked the doctor if pa would live,
and the doctor anaIyzed the kctch-
up and smcllcd OF it and told ma he
would be all right if he had a little
Worcester sauce to put on with the
ketchup, and when he said pa
would pull through, ma looked aw-
full sad. Then pa opened his eyes
and saw the minister and said that
was one Of the robbers that jumped
on him, aud lac waited to whip the
minister, but the doctor held pas
arms and ma sat ON his legs, and
the minister said he had some
other calls to make, and he wished
ma a happy new year in the hall,
much as fifteen minutes. His hap
by new year to ma is most as long
as his prayer. Well, we got pa to
bed, and when we undressed him
we found nine napkins i'll the bos-
som ofhis vest, that I've had picked
up at the places where lie called.
He is alright this morning, but he
says it is the last time he will drink
coffee when he makes new year
calls"
"WcIl, then, you didn't have
much fun yourself on New Years.
That's too bad" said the grocery
man, as he looked at the sad eyed
youth. "But you look hard. If
YOU were old enough | should say
you had been drunk, your eyes are
50 red"
''Didn't have any fun, ell Well
I wish had as many dollars as |
had fun. You see, after pa got to
sleep ma wanted me and my chum
to 60 to the houses that pa had
called at and return the napkins
he had kleptomaniaced, 50 we
dressed up and went. The first
house we called at the girls were
sort Of d~emoralized. | don't know
that l ever saw a girl drunk, but
those girls acted queer. The call
ers had stopped coming, and the
girls were drinking something out
of shaving cups that looked like
lather, and thew said it was 'aig-
nog.' They LATED and kicked up
their heels wuss nor a circusS, and
thier collars got u%npinncd, and
their faces was red, and they put
their arms around me and my chum
and Rugged us and asked Us II we
didn't want some of the custard.
You'd a dide to see me and my
chum drink that lathcr. II looked
like soap suds with nutmeg in it.,
but by gosh, it got in it's work sud
den. AT first ! was afraid when
the girls Rugged me, but after |
had drank "a couple Of shaving cups
full Of the aignogg I wasn't afraid
no more, and Rugged a girl SO
hard she catched her breath and
painted and said, 90, don't Then
| kissed her, and she is a great
big girl, bigger'n me, but she didn't
care. Say, did you ever kiss a girl
full ofoignogg! If You did it would
break up your grocery business.
on would want to woller in bliss,
instead of selling mackcrel. Ny
chum amt no SLOUGH either. lie
was sitting in a stuffed chair hold
ing another New Years girl and
could hear him kiss her so it sound
ed like Il cutter scraping on bare
ground. But the girls pa came in
al I'll l., ..,.--.l -. ,.-,- -, e.