Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1883-10-04
OPENING q Car Window.

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Opening O Car Windew.
tFron brakes Travellers MsearineI
"My DEAR" said Mrs Spoopendyke,
tanning herself vigorously and looking
an1iously around the car. "My dear,
don'tyou think it is awfully warm here ?"
"Open the window them" suggested
MIR. Spoopendyke, plunging deeper into
his paper and settling himself comfor-
tably.
Mrs Spoopendyke gave few faint
tugs at it, and then relinquished the
job.
Feel better now ?" asked Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke without looking up. "Does
the pure air appear to have any-hello!
Why don't you pull up the Window"
can't" demonstrated Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke, with another effort. "See,
it's stuck!"
"Press your thumb on the catch aud
then raise the sash, " said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. "Give it a hard jerk, that1l
loosen it."
Mrs. Spoopendyke followed instruc-
tions, split her glove, knocked the skin
off her knuckle, and then sat down in a.
high state OF perturbation.
THAT the best you can do 2" demanel
MIR. Spoopendyke, springing to his feet
and going for the window. CHOW you
watch me do this, aud another time
you'll know how"
He gave the window wrench, but it
firmly resisted.
"Won't eh!" he grow]ed, hammering
the sash with his fist and pulling again.
"Got some kind of notion that this is
the Fourth OF July and the right season
of the year to manifest independence,
haven't ye? Come upv and his finger
slipped off the lock, leaving piece of
bark behind. "Oh, ho!" he roared.
"Bite, do ye! P'raps ye think some dod
gasted woman with wax thumb is work
ing this hoist! 1t amt, l tell ye, nor it
ain any infant with its measly hands
clasped in prayer! This is Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke who is engineering this particular
lift, and ye're going through to the top
of the carl"
With this exordium Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke planted his hat firmly on his head
and tugged at the window until his face
looked like the danger side Of a switch
target.
Never mind, my DEAR" pleaded Mrs.
Spoopeudyke, watc hing the proceedings
with considerable apprehension. "It
isn't as warm as it was, and l don't care
about having it up"
:" 1t amt, eh ?" howled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, bracing himself for another at
tack. 81 s'pose you've got some kind
OF an idea that this is sort of refrigerat.
ing process I'm going through! Maybe
you think this exercise is calculated to
precipitate an early frost and ruin the
peach crop! Let go your dod. .gasted
hold on the side of this measly palace
coach and give the free air of nature q
chance!" he continued, apostrophizing
the window; and then settling down to a
steady endeavor, he hung to the window
like mashed fly,
"Perhaps it is stuck on the top, I"
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke. who, like
most women, regards feminine advice as
equal in all respects to masculine mus
Gle.
No doubt of it' squealed Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, turning suddenly ON her.
fast to the roof! P'raps he's up there yet,
holding on to it, but if he is, he'll think
a steam jack machine is working under.
meath him! Look out up there, she's
coming! Brace your self for your
fight to the spheres, for Spoopendyke
has got grip on now that'l last till
something gives way!' ard the worthy
gentleman took bold once more and
toiled, while his wife lodged suspender
buttons and back strap buckles.
81 think saw it move, she remarked,
encouragiDgly.
Did, did ye!" howled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, whose hands were numbed by bis
exertions. Did ye notice which way
1t went? What'd ye do to the meas,y
thing when ye tried it?" he demanded,
q new idea occurring to him. "Don't
ye know ye broke it when you were fool
ing around here Come up, will ye?
Oh, liDger not, but come OH, come,
come up, come up with mel' and throw
ing himself into his job with despair.
ing onslaught, Mr.. Spoopendyke missed
his hold, fell over backwards into his
seat, where he sat glaring at his die
tressed wife, the picture Of boffled en-
ergy.
"That what We wanted % he hissed
between his teeth. "Bave ye accom-
plished your dod gasted design? Got
any more chores ye want done before
they begin to measure me for a shroud 2"
Don't bother about it, DEAR" purred
Mrs. Spoopendyke, pattipg his hand
tenderly. "I'd rather have it shut than
open, for it isn't half MS warm as sup
posed it was"
"Then what'd ye want to make such
fuss about p howled MIR. Spoopendyke,
still writhing under the sting OF defeat.
elf you're cool enough, what'd ye hoist
me up there like hired man for? Oh,
you're cool enough! If / had your tenn
perature, I'd fit myself up with a band
of music and a bar1oom, and hire NY
self out as a summer resort"
81 don't care" soliloquized Mrs.
Spoopendyke, as brakeman stepped
up and opened the window with jerk.
Wy husband may not be very strong,
but he's willing. And the next time
want window opened, I'll have it done
before we leave home, and Mrs. Spoop-
endyke arranged her hat and devoted
the rest of the day to the cinder in her
husbands eye.
New Nasal eauties.