Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1883-08-22
That Bad Boy.

The bad boy, 9s The youln stoOu on 1ne
stens in an uncertain sort OF a way, as
though be did not know whether be
would be welcome or not. 4 tell you
boy, pity you. understand your pa
has GOT 10 drinking again. 1t Is toe
bad. l can't think Of anything thai
humiliates a boy, and makes him Sc
ashamed, as to have father that Is IN
the habit of hosting IN TOO mucn
benzine. A boy feels as though every
body was down Oh him, and l don''
wonder that such boys often turn out
bad. What started your pa u drink
log again.
%, ma thinks il was losing money on
the Chicago traces. He don't usually
bet unless be has got pointer-that
is sure TO win, because the other horses
are 10 be pulled back, he thinks a Jot
has been put up; and If he thinks he is
inside the ring he will bet. He says 1t
does uot burt 10 bet, if you win, and he
argues that man who wins lots o.
money can do a great deal oil good Will
IT. But he had TO walk home from the
Celcago races all the same, and lie has
been steaming ever since. Pa CAM
stand adversely. But guess we have
got him all right now. He Is the
scardest man you ever saw and the boy
took a can opener and began to cut the
zinc under the stove, just TO see it II
would work as we'll on zinc as on tin.
What, you haven't been disseciiDa
him again, have you?' said the gro
ceryman, as be pulled stool up be-
side the boy to hear the news. 'How
did you bring him 10 bis senses?'
Nv ell, ma tried having the minister
talk to pa, but pa talked Bible, abou
taking little wine for the stomach'f
sake, and gave Illustrations about Noaf
getting full, so the minister couldn'
brace him mp, and then ma had som
of the sisters come and talk to him, bu.
he broke them all up by talking abou
what all appetite they had for cham
paign punch when they were out il
camp last summer, and they couldn't
have any effect on him, and so ma sale
she gussed L would have 10 exercise
my ingenuity on pa again. Ma has an
idea that l have got some sense yet, 81
l told her that if she would just do as
said, me and my chum would scare pa
so he would swear off. She said she
would, and we went to work. First,
took pas spsctacles down to an opti
clan: Saturday night, and had tht
glasses taken out and pair put IN thei
place that would magnify, and 1 tool
them home and put th9m in pas spec
tacle case. Then | got suit of cloth es
from my chum's uncle's trunk, about
half the size ofpa's clothes. My chum''
uncle is a very small man, and pa Is
corpulent. l got plug hat three sizes
smaller than pas hat and took the
name out of pas hat and put in th'
small hat. 1 got shirt about half blE
enough for pa, and put his initials OIL
the thing under the bosom, and got
number fourteen collar. Pa wears
seventeen: Pa bad promised to brace
up and 90 10 church Sunday morning,
and ma put these small clothes where
pa could put them on. L told ma,
when pa woke up, 10 tell him be looked
awlully bloated, and excite his curiosity
and then send for me-
You didn't play such trick as tha
on a poor old man, did you p said th'
proceryman, as a smile came over hi
face.
you bet. Desperate diseases re-
ouire desperate remedies. Well, mi
told pa be looked awiully bloated, ant
that his dissipation was killing him, a
we'll as all the rest Of the family. p
.o;d he GUESSED be wasn't bloated YER,
much; but be got Up and put on hi
spectacles and looked at himself in th'
glass. You would a died TO see hin
| look at himself. His face looked as big
az two faces, through the glasses, aut
his nose was sight. Pa looked scar
ed. and then he held up his hand and
looked at that. His hand looked like
ham. Just then 1 came 10, and turned
pale, with some chalk on my face, ant
I begun to cry, and I SAID, %, pa, wha
a,ls yoa?' You are so swelled up
hardly knew you.' Pa looked sick tC
his stomach, and then he tried TO ge
| on the pants. 0, My, it was all
could do to keep from laughing to SCI
him pull them pants on. He coul'
lust get his legs in, and when l got
shoe horn and gave 1t 10 him. be wa
mad. He said il was a mean boy tba
would give his pa a shoe h'rn TO rut u
pants with. The pants wouldn't com
round pa by ten inches, and pa said b
| must haye eat something that disagree
4 "a, -. - ho laid n IN wafarnalon