, 1883-09-08
COMMUNICATED.

Mythology can read the fables of the
ancient writers.
In an apologize an animal is per-
mitted to talk as though he were a
human being. As an illustration of
the above will give the following
recent illustration:
The modern evolutiOnist and would
be divine of Plymouth Church,
Brooklyn, New York, the immortal
Beecher, a few evenings after his
lecture on evolution in the New
Market Theater, in Portland, took a
stroll up 10th street, and in the course
of his perambulations passed in front
of a corral, where his steps were ar
rested by the cordiality of the bray
with which jackass greeted him.
The modern evSlutiOnist is a non
entity in his own opinion, If not a
propOundef Of new-fangled advanced
doctrines, and schisms and while
meditating on the propagation Of an
other new and startling theory, was
interrupted in his meditations by
the aforesaid greeting, and instantly
his thoughts were diverted to musing
on the sonorousness of the jackasS'
bray, and the brightness and intel
lectuality beaming from his brilliant
eye, intensified by the Beams of the
setting sun. Perhaps Il kindred in
fluence stirred within his breast.
He paused and apostrophized the
animal thus: "PoOr beast evident
ly thou hast not had thy share of the
good things of this world, which it
has been my happy lot to enjoy.
Couldst thou but give voice to thy
feelings, or could be permitted to
use thy voice, but for one day in my
tabernacle in Brooklyn, what mall
elections, and imprecations would
not heap on the heads of those who
refuse to believe me the embodiment
Of perfection, and the only true gem
ius Of the nineteenth century, in fact
the sole remaining representative Of
the NEUROLOGICAL and legendary,
gods l am thoroughly convinced of
my supreme elOquence, and burning
zeal for the almighty dOllar) also Of
the inferiority, and stupidity, of
those poor dupes and fools, who hang
their prOfOundest faith and belief on
the nonsensical ideas which propo-
gate. But thou kindred spirit Of my
soul canst sympathize with me in
my ambitious aspirations"
To the infinite surprise of the great
self constituted philosopher, the jack
ass replied:
'But can give voice to my feel
ings. Once within the span Of my
brute life it is permitted me to
speak, and am moved at your ap-
Proach by that one touch of nature
which makes the whole world kin.
You and are brothers. Your past ca
reer proves that to a nicely, and if
anything farther was wanted to
demonstrate this, your late lecture
on evolution cOnvinces me Of this
fact"
The great, mighty and ponderouS
evolutionist, not relishing the spe-
cious induction by which his long
cared friend established the parallel,
said "Friend and 6rOther(nO, bother
it, ass, you are mistaken. DOst thou
forget the illustriOus race, and great
family from whence / sprung? Al
though 1 have been suspected of du-
plicity and lack of morals by many
of my most intimate friends, still
have a magnificent physique, my
ability to throw ridicule on all things
sacred and divine, cannot be sur
passed, my logical deductions (iR my
OicR estimdtiOO are perfect, as l can
entrap, and misleld poor deluded
fools whose faith is not firmly ground
ed in Christianity, 10 believe and
adopt any nonsense that may think
fit to PROFOUND, the latest theory
which have adopted being that Of
. evolution"
'Peace, Beecher, sole brother oflhy
heart, said the jackass: ain your
unlimited researches after knOwl-
edge have you not read the theory
Of the metempsychosis by which the
ancient writers meant to express the
doctrine Of the transmigratiOc of the
souls of men into the bodies of ami
mails 3? That doctrine was a much de-
rided but true one. In the shape of
jackass, which you see before you,
dwells the soul Of true and ardent
philosopher Of your school, and
kindred, and any assistance I can
VOuchsafe to you at any time shall
be most happy to afford, as it will at
all times give me pleasure to aid and
assist your efforts in elevating, not
only our citizens, but the entire ma
lion. Brother, l appeal to you, have
we not got an extensive field, and
great and mighty enterprise before
us? SO let Us go hand in hand Tor
rather let my voice aid you) in 50
important a scheme as the indoctri-
mating our nation with your great,
prot3VHd and qs'o7isbipg theories.