Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1883-02-23

Then hail to all OF springs new styles!
With those In view am content
To fast and pray through all of Lent.
F. u N
INQUIsITIvE YoUTH.-"Come and let
me talk to you, Willie. said the elder to
Rev. Mr.. Mulkittle's little boy.
You'll be great man some of these
days.
"Who was it that was turned to barrel
Of salt?" asked the boy.
"You are wrong, little man. No one was
turned to barrel of salt. It was
Lots wife who was turned to pillar of
SALT
"Was Lot mad p''
81 don't know"
ibid he sell the salt ?"
"Oh, no, he was fleeing and did not
STOP
"How heeing2 Catchin' feas?"
"No. he was running"
''If your wife was turned to salt would
you be mad?''
"Why-er, that is, if the Lord were to
visit upon me such misfortune I should
submit
Would you stop catching fieas and sell
her?"
''That will do now my son." exclaim-
ed Mr.. Mulkittle. go and amuse your
sister,"
''Let him talk, brother" pleaded the ell
der HE exhibits vivacity that is quite
refreshing
''Was Lot good man ?" queried the
boy.'
eyes,
WAS his wife good?"
mo, think not.''
''She was too fresh, wasn't she?"
81 don't know what you mean"
''If your wife was too fresh wouldn you
want God to turn her to salt?''
''No.'' said the elder, turning away to
avoid further conversation.
''Why wouldn't you?''
II don't know"
"Why don't you know"
because cannot tell, replied the ell
der, abstractedly.
"Why don't you tell?''
"Hush sir" demanded Mr.. Mulkittle.-
Brother Grention, don't answer another
question. He'll wear you out"
AN EPIDEMIc.-A gentleman in vi
lage in New York State has family Of
three or four little girls. Not long since
the children were talking about pair OF
twins. One of them, an elder one. turned
to her father and said
Papa, what do they call it when three
babies are born at once %
A little one who was much interested in
the conversation, and who had heard talk
about the smallpox, at once interrupted
and said with much animation
81 know, papa"
"Well, what do they call it 20 said the
father.
Gan Epidemic" said the little one.
proudly displaying her knowledge.
"Well. Father Brown, how did yea like
the sermon yesterday ?" asked a young
preacher. '.You see. parson," was the re
ply. 81 havn't fair chance at them ser
mons Of yours. Pm an old man now, and
have to sit pretty we'll back by the stove
and there's old Miss Smithie, Widder Taft.
n Ryland's daughters, n Nabb Brit, y
all the rest sitting in front of me with theil
mouths wide open swallerin' down all
the best of the sermon, N what gets down
to me is pretty poor stuff, parson. pretty
poor stuff.
A clergyman whose handwriting was
far from legible, had occasion in an essay
for publication, to make use of the phrase
No cross, no crown" The puzzle it |
was to tie brain of the co mpositol
having it in charge may be imagined bet
ter than described. as also the surp rise OF
the learned author. who read this solution
of it: mo COWS, no cream
1t is time-honored custom in Quincy,
Fla, to salute a newly married couple by
firing cannon. This is to remind them
that the battle of life has fairly begun.
A Philadelphia youth begged West
End belle to give him something he could
wear next his heart. She sent him red
flannel chest protector.
A debating society will tackle the ques-
ton: (Which is the most fun-to see a
man try to thread needle or woman try
to drive a nail.''
1t is impossible for two railroad trains
to pass each other on a single track. This
has been so frequently demonstrated of
late. it is strange that the fact has not
been accepted as proved, Boston Trans
cript.
ST you would be truly happy. my DEAR
said one lady to another. ''you will have
neither eyes nor ears when your husband
comes home late from the club.'' Yes,
I know" answered the other YEARLY,
''but what am to do with my nose 2''-
Boston Star.
A stranger journeying in France fell sick |
unto death his friend called in physic- |
ian, who demurred about giving his pro-
fessional services, fearing the wherewithal |
might not be forthcoming to settle his |
bill.
The friend, producing 100-franc bill, |
said TX i'll him or cure him, this is |
yours"
The sick man died and was buried, and /
the doctor, finding bis money slow to ap-