The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1883-11-15
He Wantad to Know.

A Well-knOWn fellOW-cltlZen now
prowling-notto to say growing through
Europe writes us the following touch
ing experience:
had been for about half an hour, he
says, sitting on the deck of one of the
miserable little ''packets" that ply be-
tween Dover and Calais, and exasper-
ating my fellow passengers by refusing
to join in the carnival of sea sickness
going on around me, when ruddy
faced, white-whiskered, bluff-looking
individual who had been cycling me foIs
some time stepped up and said:
BEG pardon, I'm sure; but are you
really the Americana"
''The American l replied, ''there
are several, l believe"
''Of course, to be sure. | meant the
one on board. / saw George B. Blank,
San Francisco, California, .. S., paint
ed on some of the baggage, and pick
ed you out right away as the owner"
And the stranger Inspected me from
head to foot with as vivid a curiosity
as if I'd been a wild man of the
woods.
"Well,'' finally exclaimed, 81 am
an American. What can do for yOu?'
w -lIU--
offense, 1 hope, and you are a Cali
fornian, too?" he said, rubbing his
hands as though he had indeed met Il
rdrG aUis. ''Ever been scalped by the
Indians, eh?"
81 think not" replied.
you've scalped some of them,
though, haven't you?" persisted my
inquisitor.
Concluding that inasmuch as I was
in for being made n side show of |
might as well indulge in some of the
circus poster sort of thing, looked my
questioner calmly in the eyes and re-
piled:
''Some twenty-six or seven, [ forgot
which; have the tally nicked in the
handle of my other scalping knife;
carry only one bowie in this country.
So seldom one runs across any fun over
here you know"
''Killed many white men?" asked
the stranger, who appeared to be act
ually quivering with excitement and Gu
riosity. -
"Only eight or ten," replied care
lessly. You see. in California there
is sort close season now for shooting
white men, 'Tain't like the good old
man-for-breakfast times. A fellow is
only allowed to gun around promiscu-
Gus like four months in the year. SO
it's hard work to keep ones hand in.
don't you see?"
''Well, l declareH' said the apparent
ly stupefied man with the chop whisk-
ers; show about Chinamen?"
'.Oh! we kill Cinnamon all the year
round, when they're fat" | explained
''But. then, there is lately some sort of
an ordinance making it u misdemeanor
to shoot pigtail unless he is on the
shady side of the street, or,sets in your
way. Folks are getting too Internally
particular over that. for a fact
ever been divorced?' finally said
the stranger, whose eyes were now
sticking out like pegs on Il hat rack.
Mine times, l think, said ''In
fact, intended to have been again
when passed Chicago on my way
over, but the train only stopped eleven
minutes, and there wasn't time enough
to rush it through takes twenty-five
minutes, you know
1 thought this had knocked him out,
but after few minutes bewildered
cogitation he returned to the charge
once more.
''Is it really true. that all Americans
wear chest protectors and eat nothing
but pie?"
well, you see, the fact is that
Americans are, as you know, such a
frightfully busy people that they have
not got time to sit down and eat a
square meal, like you English. They
must have something portable-some-
thing they can carry about with them
and nibble on the sly. | tell you, sir,
it looks like business when you see for
ty or fifty men hanging on the strap of
q street car with one hand and eating
with the other"
Il should rather think so," murmer-
ed the stranger.
GAS for the chest protectors, l con-
tinued, '.'they are really nothing more
than pocket suspenders around the
neck, and large enough to carry a
whole pie, which it keeps warm at the
same time. A good hot mince pie stow
ed away in this manner not only i'm
parts gentle and graceful warmth to
the entire system, but keeps a whole
day rations always within reach of
the wearer. Grand idea, isn't it?''
''Well, L m bleSSed! SAID my falrly
paralyzed interrogation, gazing at my
childl;ke and ingenious face with
profound awe. ''Would-
you oblige me with one of your cards, :"
he said; Il want to show it to my fam
lily. or they'll never believe a word of
this-never. Thanks--here's mine, :"
and, as we had landed, he walked up
the gang plank and was swallowed
up by the mob of insane French cab
men.
AS l stepped chuckling into my own
department | glanced at the card of
the stranger. 1t read, ''Julius X. Jud-
kins, San Francisco, CAL"
l have spent about eight hours day
looking for the man ever since. There
will be blood shed out of this yet
mark my words.-Derrick DOdd, San
Francisco Post.