davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-06-06

"Well, I swan" said the grocery
man as he put some eggs in a funnel
shaped brown paper for a servant girl.
What did the minister say when he
come TOP"
"Say What could he say? He
Just yelled whoa and kept saving
with his hands, as though he was
driving. l heard that the policeman
was going to pull him for fast driving
till he found it was an accident They
told me, when they carried me home
in a hack, that it was a wonder every
body was not killed, and when l got
home pa was going to sass me, until
the hearse driver told him it was the
minister that was to blame. l want
to find out if they got the minister's
umbrella back. The last see of it the
umbrella was running up his trousers
leg, and the point come out by the
small of his back. But am all right,
and shall go to work tomorrow, cause
the livery man says was the only one
in the crowd that had any sense. L
understand the minister is going to
take a vacation on account of his liver
and nervous prOstration. l would If
l was him. 1 never saw man that
had nervous prostration any more than
he did when we fished him out Of the
barbed wire fence, after we struck the
street car. But that settles the minister
business with me. l don't drive with
no more preachers. What 1 want is
quiet party that wants to 60 on
walk" and the boy got up and hopped
on one foot toward his crutches,
filing his pistol pocket with figs as he
hobbled along.
"The next time drive a minister
to a funeral, he will walk" and the
boy hobbled out and hung out a sign
in front of the grocery, "Smoked dog
fish at halibut prices, good enough for
company"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-06-06
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The appropriate color for infants
this season win be yeller.-Springfeld
(O.) NeaoS.
When the man in the dock fumbles
in his pocket for the zone dollar and
COSTS" is it a case of fine feeIirg?--
Boston Bulletin.
Hens may be a little backward on
eggs, but they never fail to come to
the scratch when flower beds are con-
cerned.-Picay1'le.
What was your observation, Mr..
Brown?" "Oh, nothing, madame.
simply said the butter ranked we'll"
Boston transcript.
The American hog is forbidden to
enter Germany. That shuts out the
man who tries to occupy four seats in
a railway car.-HaeOkeye.
"Say, Mrs. Bunson," said little girl
to lady visitor, "do you belong to
brass band?' "No. my dear" II
thought you did" "Why did you, my
child" because, mamma said you
was always blowing your own horn,
and l thought you must belong to the
band '-DTtLmneT.
Some manufacturer of fishing tackle
has invented bait with luminous
arrangement, of phosphorus, or some
thing of that kind, to light the hsh
toward the hook. When it gets so a
fellow has to hold lantern so fish
can see to bite, half the fun of fishing
will be gone.--Peck
4 "fashion" item says: "The lozenge
shape is the most fashionable for pills.
which should be coated with silver, and
look very inviting" This appears to
be a new departure in fashion intelli-
gence, and next it will be in order TO
describe whether the new shape in
porous plasters is Ictagon or oblong.
and if they are trimmed with gimp
braid or guipure lace, and we may be
told that the most fashionable tints in
castor oil are terra-cOtta and faWn
color, and that liver-pads are cut j lthe
form of a heart, with scalloped edges
and lined with ciel-blue satin.-NoTtS-
torn Herald.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-06-06
It o Late.

The law ofheredity, (which living
beings tend to repeat themselves IN
their descendants, is generally accepted
by scientists and physicians. Some
assert that not only the physical but
the spiritual trails of parents are re-
produced in their children. In the
matter of health and disease there is
no doubt that parents transmit their
physical qualities, strength and weak
nesses.
One OF the best-known physicians
in Boston was called, not long since,
to attend the bedside of Il rich man
who had been suddenly taken i'll. The
doctor felt the patients pulse and saw
that the case was hopeless. Turning
to one of the family, who stood anX-
lously waiting to hear his opinion, he
said:
"You should have sent for a physician
long ago"
but we sent at once; as soon as he
was taken ILL.,"
"Ah yes" replied the physician.
sadly, ''but you should have sent lO1
years ago"
The physician recognized the fact
that his pat 1t, who died that day,
was in reali the victim cf his an
eestors' carel SIS OF criminal violation
of the laws of health, years before he
hhaself was born.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-06-06
Many Words in Little Space.

A man in Humboldt county has put
164 words into the space occupied by
a nickel. He has also put l,150 words
on the face of a postal card, which
contains l5s square inches. He has
written the Lords Prayer on a space
covered by one side of an old-fash-
ioned three-cent piece, and says he
can put thirty thousand letters upOn
one side of y postal card with a stee
pen without the aid of a glass.-Iol0a
State Register.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-06-06
How IL Was Made.

An old lady in the country had a
dandy from the city to dine with her
ol certain occasion. For dessert
there happened to be an enormous
apple pie.
La, ma'am I" said he, chow do you
manage to handle such a pie?"
Easy enough" was the reply; 1--WE
make the crust up in wheelbarrow,
wheel it under the apple tree, and then
shake the fruit down into it,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-06-06
LOVE, DRINK AND DEBT.

Bon of mine the world before you
Spreads a thousand secret snares
Round the feet of every mortal
Who through lifs's long highway faraa
Three eepecial, let me warn you,
Are by every traveller met;
Three to Cry your heart of virtue
They are love, and drink and debt
Love, my boy, there's no escaping
'Tis the common fate of men;
Father had it have had it;
But for love you had not been.
Take your chances, but be cautious;
Know a squad is not dove;
Be the upright man of honor;
All deceit doth murder love.
As for drink, avoid IL wholly;
Like an adder it will sting
Crush the earliest temptation
Handle not the dangerous thing.
See the wrecks of men around us
Once as fair and pure as you
Mark the warning Shun the pathway
And the hell they're tottering through.
Yet though love be pure and gentle
And from drink you may be free,
With yearning heart l warn you
'Gainst the worst of all the three.
Many a demon in his journey
Bunyan's Christian pilgrim metz
They were lambs, cen old Apollyon,
To the awful demon debt.
With quaking heart and face abashed
The wretched debtor goes;
hs starts at shadows lest they be
The shades of men he owes.
Down silent streets he slyly steals,
The face of man to shun,
He shivers at the postman's ring,
And fears the awful dun.
Beware Of debt Once in you'll be
A slave forevermore
If credit tempt you, thunder "NoW
And show it to the door.
Cold water and a crust of bread
May be the best you'll get;
Accept them like man, and swear
"I'll never run in debt P'
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-06-06
WHAT SEED SHALL WE sowr

A wonderful thing is a seed,
The one thing deothloss foreverl
The ono thiag angeless-utterly true,
Forever old and forever new,
And dclle and faithess neyor.
Plant blessings, blessings will bloom;
Plant hate, and hate will grow;
You can SOW to-day, tomorrow will bring
The blossom that proves what sort of thing
Js the seed, the seed that you SOW.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-06-06
An Epitaph.

The following is an epitaph on d
tombstone in Chautauqua, county
n. Y;
Neuralgia worked on Mrs. Smith,
Till meath the sod it laid her;
She was a worthy Methodist,
And served as a crusader.
Friends came delighted at the call
In plenty of good carriages
Death is the common lot of all,
And comes more oftthan marriages."
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-06-06

Bismarck is not a good orator. He
coughs and stammers, and stops for
the right word his sentences are
involved, and often foot long but
when he writes his native tongue, it is
idiomatic and graceful.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-06-06
RATES OF ADVERTISING.

Legal notices at established rates.
Marriage and death notices gratis.
All bills fcr yearly advertisements collected
luarterly. Temporary advertisements must
be paid IN advance.
dob work. cash on delivery.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-06-06

Alabama females have a majority
of 1927 in the state
Morris tribune., 1883-12-05
MORE SHEEP WANTED.

The west want more sheep. Min
nesota to-day has not half the quauti-
ty there should be, nor half the guam
tity there would have beeen if there
had not been such a multiplicity of
miserable, worthless, accursed sheep
killing dogs, whose masters have in
the past had sufficient power to con-
troll the Legislature. But dogs and
all other enemies of the sheep. have
not prevented the growing Of wool
from being success. The fact is,
wool growers do not fail because the
growth of the golden fleece and the
Increase is as perpetual as the sun. II
mattars not how dark the night is,
he wool continues to grow, and ii
matters not how the wind blows or
low it may storm, CESSATION is never
longer than $50 days. The lambs will
average one-half females, and Otter
wins, and they breed the next year,
making double compounded per
petual growth, and no less. Every
thing that does not So into market
goes back to enrich the pastures, anC
though the flock master may be sick
does not stop the growth of the
lambs. Not so with other business
The mechanic or the man who works
5or salary has nothing to grow while
he sleeps; when his labor ceases his
ncOnie stops, and his expenses are
perpetual. 1t is true there are ex-
1enses attending sheep, but under the
most unfavorable circumstances
where they can live in the pastures in
summer and in yards and stables in
! winter on hay and grain or roots, the
neat of the wethers will pay large
share Of all expenses without drawing
| to any great extent on the wool or in
! crease of the ewes. Hence it is like ;
perpetual stream flowing into a basin
it is only question of time about fill
| ing it to overlooking. Dogs or no dogs
| there is no one branch Of industry
| either in Minnesota or Dakota, tina
will pay as we'll as wool growing
I Frihunp
Morris tribune., 1883-12-05
WASHINGTON NOTES

The adjutant general of the army
,as received information of the sur
render at Camp Poplar River of five
lodges Of Sitting Bulls forces from
she British provinces.
The comptroller has authorized the
Exchange National bank of Hastings,
Nebr., to begin business. with Il capi-
tai of 100000.
The issue of silver dollars for the
week ended Dec. was $343, 1877; same
lime last year, $S02,000.
Representative Warner will soon
Introduce bill in the house for the
retirement of trade dollars.
Coinage at the mints in November,
1884, $40, of which $2,350,000 were
silver dollars.
An appropriation of $4,000 is rec
commended by the secretary of the
treasury in his annual estimates for the
construction of the Minneapolis post.
office building. x
Morris tribune., 1883-12-05
TIDY FARMERS.

Did you ever see tidy farmer who
was not, in the long run, prosperous
| farmer? We never have and some OF
the reasons are very apparent. Ir
| the first place tidy farmer cannot
| perforce, be lazy man, for in order
to keep things in their place he must
| and will work. He uses his brains a.
we'll as his hands and his thoughts be.
ing upon his work, he is in a position
to make the very best use of brains
and hands. Such man, too, is likely
to have excellent judgment, because
the attention necessary to keep things
in their proper place at the proper
time will very soon give him an ex-
perience, that with his methodical
| turn of mind cannot fail to beget
good sound judgment. So too, The
tidy farmer is necessarily a careful
| man and his system of husbandrH
| will always be one that tends to rea-
lize the most profitable results from
given causes. His plows and reapers
will last longer than his neighbours
because he chooses the best in the
first place and then gives them the
best care. His cattle are always thriv-
ing and his horses always ready for
work, because he has provided for
them an abundance of suitable food
and the best of shelter and protection.
His crops are always sown, cultivated
and harvested in season and in the
most approved manner, and his pro-
ducts always bring the best price on
account of their quality and condition.
Such man seldom makes an en-
gagement that he cannot fulfill and
his credit is good wherever he is
known. Generally he is in condition
to pay cash for what he buys and is
thereby enabled to get the best at the
lowest rate, being well up with the
times and having his business we'll in
hand, he is enabled to take advantage
of the markets in selling, as well as
in buying, and the amount he saves
by tidy farming over the careless and
improvident farmer, helps to swell
his income. The tidy farmer takes
care of his land as well as his stock
and machinery and his, is never a
WORKOUT farm. He may not indulge
in luxuries to any great extent but
neither himself nor his family will
suffer for the necessaries of life.
He may not be abonanza farmer who
prides himself on "mile-square felds''
but he will always have flour in the
barrel, and corn in the crib. His"little
farm well titled" will keep him from
want and his head will not be bent
low, nor his crops go down under the
weight of grief and mortgages. His
savings will bridge him over the bad
years and his merchant and banker
will always be willing to extend the
day of payment if he asks for it, nor
Morris tribune., 1883-12-05
s.SEEINE" TILE EDITOR.

Mr.. Cheeseman is New Jersey
editor. Mr.. Van SICKLE is, or was,
New Jersey lawyer. Mr.. Cheeseman
wrote what Mr.. Van SICKLE did not
like, and the lawyer went to see the
editor-went to see him with pistol.
He saw him but moment. He might
have seen him longer, but after the
editor got through arguing the matter
with him, Mr.. Van SICKLE couldn't
see anything-couldn't even see why
he had come there in the first place.
This is as it should be. Mr.. Cheese
man is an ornament to his profession.
But while we felicitate the craft on
so worthy a membership as that ~f
Mr.. Cheescman, and hold him up as a
terrible example to men who yearn
now and then to ''see the editor" on
similar business, what are we to say
of Mr.. Corbett, the Illinois editor, who
was knocked down on the sidewalk
last Monday, and then kicked into the
gutter? Mr.. Corbett might have
known, if he had stopped to think
about it, that to be knocked down and
used for STRENGTHENING purposes at
just that time, when we all had u
chance to terrorize the agitated reader,
was most inopportune. Just look at
it. The irate reader comes in and
says: "Who writ that piece" The
editor says: II did, but remember
| Cheeseman.n "Cheeseman be blowed a;
I remember Corbett.' Anybody can
see how this thing would pan out
Chicago News.
Morris tribune., 1883-12-05

will they send him away empty ham
ded. The tidy farmer may meet with
adversely, but he will not succumb
and he will always have, in the con-
fidence and esteem of those who know
him, enough reserve power to set him
on his feet again, even should he go
under, while the chances of doing so
are but one in II hundred compared
with his shiftless and careless neigh
Dor.
If every farmer who reads this item
will see that none of his machinery
is left out during the winter, to rust
and rot in the fields, he. will save 8
dozen times the cost of his paper and
get Il long ways ahead of his neighbol
who is too shiftless too read and think
and too lazy to take proper care of his
implemcnts.-Mo Leader.
Morris tribune., 1883-12-05

London cable: The English gov
eminent is sorely troubled and per-
picked over the spread of the land
league agitation, which, despite the
most strenuous efforts on the part of
the authorities, daily grows and in
creases in strength. The same as that
which has so long been a source of
dissension between the landlord and
tenant in Ireland is now in active pro-
gress in some sections of Wales. The
people efm&ny Of the farming districts
have. become fully imbued with the
spirit which possesses their Irish
brethren in the fight against the pay
ment of back rent and for some time
past have been quietly organizing
under the direction of Michael Davitt,
the Irish agitator, and Miss HELEN
Taylor.
Morris tribune., 1883-12-05

Ever since Huron lost the Milwau-
kee railroad people have been plan
ming to get road to the southwest
and direct communication with the
Milwaukee railroad, which runs
twelve miles southwest ofthem. This
desire has taken form in the incorpo-
ration of the Huron q Southwestern
Railroad company, with a capital of
81 900 900, divided into 10000 shares.
The ipcorporators are some of the
principal men of Huron, including
four bankers, and it is the purpose to
send surveyors out at once and make
a line to the Milwaukee road within
the next three weeks. All of the in
corporators are Huron men and mean
business. This pleasant weather is
very favorable for surveying, and the
company intend to build the line as
far southwest as Chamberlain. The
plan, Is completed, will go very far to-
wards making Huron the most impor-
tant railroad center in Southern Dako-
ia. One-half the stock has been taken.
Morris tribune., 1883-12-05

A. Dallas Texas special of yester-
day says:
Joseph LOhnstein, q cotton buyer of
Dallas, was brought to the city to-day
from Sherman, charged by the Texas
Pacific Railroad company with forgery
and swindling. 1t is claimed that
Lohnstein's operations covered up
ward of $125, 900. 1t is alleged that he
was in conclusion with Easton, the
defaulting agent of the railroad at
Sherman. It is said that the fictitious
name of G. J. Anderson was used by
Lohnstein paid Anderson for $500
bales of cotton through the banking
of Oliver & Briggs, drawing. between
$40 and $50 each bale. This cotton
was consigned to Herman Brothers,
Falman & Co., and Lehman Brothers,
New York; Stoddard & Co., and
Fredlander & Co., New Orleans, and
some Eastern mills. All drafts were
promptly paid by the consignees, ex-
cept $1,000 now held by Oliver & Briggs
against Lohnstein. They are claimed
to be safe, as Lohnstein has $1,000 as
margin deposited with them, and
bills of lading are signed in date form
by Easton, the company's agent at
the time. Lohnstein's attorneys state
hat Anderson is not a fictitious charac-
ter, and he will be produced in time.
Name affidavits have been made
against the accused. His bail was
fixed at $1,000 i'll each case, which
was given. More warrants are ex-
pected, The county attorney says
others are implicated in the shortage,
and startling developments are looked
for. Lohnstein stood we'll in Dallas
and enjoyed public confidence for
wears.
Morris tribune., 1883-12-05

ence 10 which expect from Catholics
in a special manner Il judicious eXer-
else of the political franchise, and a
loyal submission to the established
law.
SUSTAIN HIGH-LlCENSE.
|. High license for Igor saloons.
On the fearful evils of intemperence,
and the efficiency of a stringent high
license law in restricting those evils,
| need not speak. \ movement is go
ing on through the state to obtain
high-license regulations through local
option and ultimately through a gem
eral state law. BE open advocates OF
the movement. If a political party at
a convention adopts platform favor
ing free whiskey, depart at once from
| its tents-free whiskey is fee hell. If
candidates for office do not favor high
license, use your endeavors to leave
them at home.
THE REPRESSION OF IMMORTALITY.
,. Laws prohibiting dens of I'M
morality. IL Is SAD that efforts VIII
De maze 10 eilace those laws iroiii 'ii'
statue-book of the St. Paul munich
panty or 10 aoopI measures re'oer'i's
them hegaIory. III the haiiie vi
purity of the family circle, in the
name of virtue and religion, in the
name ol ear'h ana neaNe'i' rise "p "
sustain 'nose laws Ii wee " III eA's'
III spi'e VI All 'l'''' may oe ""ne' ''''S
much surely III" III "o-i' III ''ii'
pei II 10 niue Itsell i'll "i'lios' '""''es'
Sloie "'iNhe'7' II VIII oii'e ~ la
away lro'h 'lle eyes vi o"i 'iiii"le''
II VIII stamp 1t Win "'i"e'''"'e 9'ls
ma: ana All 'ha' III" can no. we re-
qulre tila' Id" si'"iI 90. me WI"
SaVaSes OF the forest "o''io not tolel
ate Tor moment 'ile SiiahieieSS para"
'hSS OF wee "hlch our cl''es' an
villages eNen' endure ehcoufaSe-th'
officials OF the IL" oiteh approving
even II they stimulate concentration
Inc lault hes with tiie Pe"ple-"lt'
he good ana religious elements 1e
cause they are silent ana inactive an'
wrapping themselves up IN the cloa'
81 thelf own Seii-suiliclehcy' cry on
that they nave no care Tor the OUTSIDE
Worid' as II we nave not TO care 10
the saiFa'loh OF ALL ana as II wee
could reign unchecked IN the outsld
world without soon knocking at GU
doors ana Killing our own children
THEsUNDAY LAWS.
Morris tribune., 1883-12-05
Arbitratiug the Question.

CINCINNATI, Dec. 4.-The board of arbitra-
ton of the boot and shoe manufacturers and
workmen met in executive session at the
board of trade. The manufacturers want
last years scale of wages reduced Is per cent.
The workmen will oppose the proposed re.
duction on the ground that business is
more prosperous than in 1882. Another
reason for opposing the reduction is that sew
eral large Cincinnati manufacturing houses
have gone out of business which increased
the profits of the other firms
Morris tribune., 1883-12-05

1t is remarked that newspaper pro-
pietors who attended the Press club
banquet in New York last Tuesday
night felt keenly their insignificance
beside their oYp Police reporters re-
splendent in dress-coats and diam
onds. Even BEN BUTLER, who was
present, cast covetous glances at the
array of collar and fine linen that
burst upon his diagonal sight.
Morris tribune., 1883-12-05

The Chicago News thinks Mr.. Blaine
will have to modify his bid for the
presidency, as it seems inclined to
work backward. There is a good deal
of magnanimity in proposing to give
the revenues derived from whisky to
the states, but the generosity is appre-
ciated only by those who live in states
that pay no revenue tax at ali, and
not by those who pay it all and receive
little In return. Tt is fine thing for
Maine and Rhode Island to have all
their state expenses paid by Illinois
and Kentucky, but it is bad for the
latter states. 1t is far worse scheme
than that for running distilleries and
grog-shops as adjuncts to state educa-
ton, although it is little difficult to
tell Just why.
Morris tribune., 1883-12-05

Chicago News: Next year will be
leap year. We propose to publish, at
no very distant date, the names and
postoffice addresses of the prominent
and eligible bachelors connected with
the daily press of the country.
Morris tribune., 1883-12-05
Bismarck Tribune: A Racine pl

Bismarck Tribune: A Racine prin-
ter was much astonished when his
"taken of telegraph copy informed
him that he had fallen heir to snug
fortune in Germany. In fact his ag-
itation caused him to knock the office
towel down and break it.
Morris tribune., 1883-12-05
Theresa Sturlata,

CHICAGO, Dec 3.-Theresa Sturlata has
left this city to join her mother and brothers
at her home in Baltimore.