National Republican., 1883-01-30
FooT pads-corn protectors,

THERE is no money in hiring a cheap
cashier.
THE first and worst of all faults is to cheat
ones self
PARLIAMENT is always the pow-wow behind
the throne.
THE little dears now indulge in fawn-col-
ored hosiery
FIFTY new glass factories are being built
in the different states.
AN exchange thinks the best way to pur-
chase coal is buy the yard.
DIVORCES are ON increase in San Francisco,
but the increase is very small.
THE dead beat, poor in the goods of this
world, is generally rich in taGy.
ANY girl will tell you that gold bangles
are warmer than worsted wristlets.
THE long and the short of it, As the days
grow longer gas bills grow smaller.
THE birthplace of Paganini at Genoa has
been marked with memorial tablet.
SEVEN members of the United States senate
| as 1t stands at present are natives of Kentucky.
ROBERT MORRIS, tho negro lawyer, who
lately died in Boston, left property worth 100000.
FLORIDA orange groves are not so much in
demand as they were, The orange-g grove business
has been overdone.
VERDI the famous composer, is going to
found hospital for thepoo in the state of Parma
| OF which he Is native.
WITHIN six years an English married couple
have been blessed with triplets twice, doubets
twice, and singles once.
AN exchange says the city of Washington Is
full of congressman and thieves. Why this redun-
dancy of expression ?-Boston Post.
In reply to the question "Is Willie Winter
q poet?" the Philadelphia NetOs says; He used
TO be, but he has had his hair cut"
The young man who says "yes?" with an
interrogation is to be married to the young lady !
who says mol" with an exclamation.
The man who sued q, Colorado paper for
$4,000 damages for libel and was awarded six
cents, now believes in the freedom of the press'
NEW YORK CITY is overnowing with tramps
and boggars, who solicit aims from door to door,
aud Backwell's island is at the same time densely
crowded with them.
DIR. WILD, of Kentucky, announces that
Adam was seven feet high. This would seem to
indicate that the Garden of Eden was located
somewhere in Kentucky.
RELIGIOUS philanthropistsa at Somers, Conn.,,
have opened large skating rink in the hope tnat
1t will prove attractive enough to keep the young
people away from dances.
Ara wedding in New York the organist
raised laugh by playing, as the bridal party left
the church, that familiar and suggestive tune,
"Now You're Married, You Must Obey
FRANK JAMES occupied box in the theater
at Independence, Mo-, Tuesday night, with Dep
uty Marshall Holland, for which adventure the
latter was dismissed from his position as jailor.
"YoU can stick pin in here" exclaimed q
Michigan country school teacher as he elucidated
n mathematical principle of unvarying verify,
: ana when he came to sit down again the pin waa
there.
Mr.. CoULDocK, the we'll known actor, has
not been home for twenty years, and is expected
to sail for England In June and to return in Sep
. tember to resume his place in the Madison Square
= theater company.
A BROOKLYN landlady recently dropped
her false teeth into one of her boarder's cup of
coffee. He Immediately made her "A present of the
coffee, and generously told her she needn't give
him credit for II on his bill.
: A DUBLIN dispatch says there is an UNDER
. ground passage between Kilmainham court house
Q and Jail, so that no communication between pris-
aud their friend is possible during the tran
y sit from the jail to the court house.
1 Robbers in a Minnesota farmhouse, being
unable to find the money which they knew was
hidden on the premises, placed cooked pistol at
the head of baby and threatened to blow its
f brains out. This made the mother give up the
Il other treasure.
o ScHLIEMANN will attack subteranean
$ Athens next on the northwest corner, with per-
b mission Pericles and such are believed to lie
buried there, and he will try and find out. After
that he will spade up Crete to see what kiud Of
Creeturs used to hide there.
IS A NEW member of the Connecticut legisla-
y lure was much surprised, after eating hearty
Is meal In the house restaurant at being called on
r | Gor II ~ Uaafb ba m tht. q
, thought the state furnished us with our meals
l. when we were here. That's what supposed thiI
=, place was for"
to THE tramp who tried to steal through pas
is sage to New York remarked, when he picked him
Is self from the snowbank into which the muscular
N brakesman had deposited him. that he didn't care
10 to be II through passenger again. He should take
Mt a way passage next time-as far away from tina
10 brakeman's brogans as possible
e. GEORGE WASHINGTON couldn't pop tn,
" question any more than he could tell a lie. III
had several love affairs, but his dlaidence pre-
vented him from coming to the issue. The Widow
Custis, whom he finally married, had the expert
mr. ence necessary to bring George to terms, and IN
n. finally succeeded in fixing things with her with
n, out golug through the usual formalites. AS sh'
~ had 100000 In cash and large property besides
M. q, W. had considerable incentive TO screw up hi
Ie courage.
he DURING some excavations a few weeks ag
NY for new system of Drainage at Brentford, Eng
e. land large number OF old horseshoes wer'
hs found some eight feet below the surface Loca
antiquarians believe that they are the shoes tina
were worn by cavalry horses at the battle Of Brent
ford, fought in 1912 between King Charles an
n. the parliamentary forces, Some Of the shoe
wa were completely eaten through with rust and sur
M rounded with oalcarlous matter, which suggest
~, ,ai the presence of decayed bones.
zee WHEN Sheriff Cook overlook the abscond
to ing treasurer Polk with his saccomplice, Cameron
NC they were about to cross tho river into Mexic'
Cook WAS unarIned, but tne situation was dei
perate one. Cook, with the bravery of loI
iumped from behind a bush suddenly and sai'
80, 20 Gentlemen you are my prisoners" Instant
w. two revoyers were leyeed at him. but he nev'
~ ~ finohed, as he quietly added "You had bett'
- surrender, for 1 know you, Mr.. Polk, and II
~ rangers are all around YOU Put up your guns,
I'll have your heads blown over into Mexico
Polk turned pale and his companion appeared
be nervous. Cook saw the impression he ha
ks made, and quickly followed up his advantage
ion ierklng out his watch and impatontly eNclaimt
re. il they did not give their weapons to him in
am quarter Of q minute he would command Il
rangers 10 fire. Whom the time was nearly o.
pired ne took his cap in his hand us IL to sign
with It, but continuance of his strategy was III
necessary for Polk trembling handed his reyoly
to 10 the brave young man, and Cameron tollow'