Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-08-08
PLEASANTRIES.

PARIS green-The chap that has been
there for week.
A MAN who invests money IN the glue
business is very apt to get stuck.
AN ugly and disgraceful rumor is in
circulation that David Davis wears cor
sets.-S1n Francisco Examiner.
A new cigar is appropriately called the
''Mother-in-law." 1t is always sure to
man.
IT is rumored that Chinese consulate
is to be established IN Chicago, but per-
haps the rumor won't wash.-CSll. Sat.
Night.
HANIAN is the crack sculler of the
world, but the New York policemen still
continue the skull crackers. PhitGdet-
phia Chronicle.
PATHS voice hasfailed about Is per
cent. says the Philadelphia Bulletin. She
will likely take trade dollars at par next
year for singing.
STRAWBERRIES are so cheap and plen-
tiful this year that the church festivals
have been giving four instead of three on
plate. Phil. Cbron.
Hrs Honor care you guilty or not
gGlltye" Prisoner: "Spects Use guilty,
sab ;.,but I'd like to be tried all de same. !"
-CoIa8565a Spectator.
SAYS the Boston Post: ''Now th a
Matthew Arbuckle has passed over til
river, Gabriel will hardly be able to ha
it all to himself any longer"
A SAINT PAUL paper announces that
ssthe Emperor William goes to Ems on
Thursday" AMI the Bismarck Tribune
wants to know "who Ill the two-spot is
Em?"
A LITTLE singular that passengers are
not permitted to converse with the man
at the wheel, Notwithstanding he is
spokesman of the ship.-BOStOn Trans
cT5pt.
Mrs. RAMsBOTHAMd does not care much
about the French capital at the present
day. What she really enjoyed was
Paris under the Second Umpire
Punch.
A CLOTHING dealer advertises 'sready-
made children's suits" Children of this
sort are supposed not to be very partic-
ular about clothing.-NeaO Orleans
PjoGyt726.
THE cost of stopping train of cars is
said to be from 80 to 40 cents. When
the train is stopped by another train,
these prices become somewhat inflated,
-C0etrjer-JO9araGI
MISTRESS to new cook: son Wednes-
days and Saturdays I shall go to market
with you" New cook: every well,
mum, but who's goin' to carry the bas-
ket the other ays?"-EGchanQe
DID you ever notice the stereotyped
crook of the dudes arm? Poor thing!
the tailor bent that arm when he meas
Ured for that last suit, and the dude
hasn't the dynamic force to unbend it.
A GROCER at Des Moines put stone
under an old hat, and James WEIGH
kicked it and broke his big toe. The
grocer didn't quit laughing until YER
dict Of $500 was rendered in favor of the
kicker.
TEE Paris Figaro mentions among
the movements of fashionable people
the visit of NJ. Nobelly to the chateau
of MoYencourt. He must be great
faYorite at country boarding houses in
the summer.
PRINCE KRAPoTKINE, the socialist and
nihilist, instructs his fellow-prisoners in
cosmography, geometry and algebra.
These sciences will be of great assistance
to them In swallowing prison bareback.
Dos. Post.
OVER thestall of public writer in La
Rue BAG at Paris is the following inscrip-
ton: ''M. Renard, public writer, advis-
ing compiler, translates the tongue, ex-
plains the language Of flowers, and sells
fried potatoes"
IT is not safe to Jump at conclusions.
The choir which belched out the closing
anthem, just as the minister paused to
lend impressiyeness to the last six pages
of his discourse, was probably IN hurry
to get home to dinner--Er.
RUSSIAN men are said to be handsomer
than Russian women. If you happen
to know that the average Russian looks
like a hair mattress stood on end and
burst open at the top, you can judge
how lovely the girls are.-BO8. Post.
SIR RoBERT GARDEN, ex-Iord mayor
Of London, has been knocked down and
run over by cabs three times, and yet
he is only eighty-seven years old. By
the tune he is ninety he will be infrm
enough to knock down and run over ev-
cry day. -BatrlGasgt0n Ha0keye.
SEVERAL ladies were chatting on the
veranda of a seaside hotel, when one of
the fair complaeently observed: 81
never battle without discovering some
new beauty" Severe silence greeted
the remark, but one rival cutt1ngly
asked: Glow often do you bathe-
once o year?" These were fashionable
ladies.
TIE Society of Friends has repealed
the prohibition of the marriage Of first
cousins, and now for the first time in
nearly two hundred years a bashfuI
young Quaker can enjoy the placid and
unexciting stagnation of marrying one
of the family. Young man, no matter
how much the law may permit it, don't
do it. Think of an aunt for a mother
in-law.- H01Ukeye.
The New York Journal inquiries with
animation whether or not a reasonable
huzaan being should marry schoOlmis-
tresg. Of course he should if he can get
her. But this higher education of w0-
man makes : Ii hard for a lazy man SC