National Republican., 1883-07-02
CURRENT GOSSIP.

Florida Keys.
TRUE dignity In Boston the atis known
as sNathanel-LOuisvatc tOuier. Journdi
A GIRL has boon arrested while disguisedV
rs an old woman The old woman disguised as
girl is still Mt large.
TwENTY-sGX per cent of all who graduate
as doctors drop out Of the profession and enter
other ayocauons, so watchul college professor
says.
LARGE portion Of the Chinese that come
to America dread their future state They fear
there will not be water sufficient for laundry pur-
poses.
"IN case l am recalled" announced al
young vocalist TO n western audience, 81 shall
sing My Grandfathers Clock" She was not re-
called.
THE question is asked us if there is any
thing that will bring youth to a womanY YesA
indeed. An income of $4,000 will bring any<X
number of them.
No" SAID o bride, "I am not willingW
that our wedding tour should include the Yellow
stone park. Yellow don't agree with my com
plexion. ."--Anon
JACK oLDsrocK--"we're very proud Of.
our ancestry, you know" Tom Parvenu--" Yes
l know but how would your ancestry feel about4
you "-Hdrrard Ldmpoon. =
family" remarked the young man who had been :
waltzing with her, as he essayed to brush off the
white spot on his coat sleeve.
MULCAHY says the statement that John
Roach's ship is the first iron vessel launched in
America is q mistake. as Mrs. Mulcahy frequently
launches iron vessels at him.
LARGE tracts of land in Texas are fenced
with hedges OF roses which, in few years,
cheaper than wire rails, or lumber, form barrier
that neither mau nor beast can pass.
VoLTAIRE's house is used by the Geneva
Bible society as repository for Bibles. 1t is not
because ofthis, however, that travellers from alvq
over the world come to Geneva to see IT,
A PRECISE father: lie did not object to hisN
daughter joining musical society, but gently in
sisted that abbrevintions were coarse Philip Har
mon!c sounds much more genteelly, my dear.
MA YOUNG man married against the wishesv
OF his parents, and. In telling friend how ton
break the news to them said: TELL them first tina
l am dead and gently work UP to the climax"
LADY writer is out with an article en-
titled How to Catch Husband" But her theory
is all wrong Ask any married woman how to
catch q husband and she will reply, "By the
hair"
The mayor of New Bedford, Mass, told the
aldermen the other night that their proceedings
were like those Of boys debating society He
also told them that they couldn't fool this old
fellow"
CLARA Cooking at the bonnets, &C., 4
"Dont you think they are very handsome 2" +
Amy (whose thoughts are on the other side of the
street) Every, Specially the one with the black \
mustache."
A LINGUISTIC experiment: Digby has be- =
working hard at Italian all winter and resolves
try on newly arrived emigrant-" Parlate Ital l.
ano, signor?" Emigrant-"Arrahl Now what are
ye givin' us?"-LVe
al declare r exclaimed Mrs. Tidnice, "I
never saw girl like our Sary jane. l worked
almost two hull days OH her new bathin' dress,
and don't you think. she got 1t wringin' wet the
fust time she put itonr'
THE independent damsels Of Athens, Ga,
formed a "spinsters' club" which no men were
suffered TO attend. Then bachelors club was
organized in self-defense, and at last accounts
they were holding joint sessions.
SILK culture has passed the bounds of ex-
pertinent at Knoxville. Prof. s. II. Lockett, oI
the University OF Tennessee has made a practica
test Of 5000 silk worm eggs, out OF which numbe
less than hundred failed to hatch.
YOUNG man at Tuskegee, Ala, went toN
see his lady-love the other night and stayed so
late that the girls mother brought in dozen eggs
and asked him TO hatch them for her He left,
and declares that he will never call again.
THERE are some girls 50 awfully nice that
they will not dance with a fellow in ball room
If his hair sticks up on the back Of his head. The
same same girl may be seen Mt the ageof 81 look
ing in seven different directions for husband.
~ AM trying to break myself of slang
phrases" said the Centralvile girl, land have
been for some time. But actually used the word
racket to-day before / thought, and I'm SO
oeh n m 4 will
your"
The authorities at Ph0niX, A. T., recently
| fined Chinese doctor SOD for practicing with
| out O diploma. The celestial esculapian showed
| up Chinese document which purported to be
diploma, but which failed TO pass current with the
court
A MONTANA firm bought 5000 head of cat
| tic on the Sun river and Telton range about a
| year ago for Sl35OO0 cash. They were sold to
| Colorado syndicate recently for s235,OOO the in.
crease in the value and the increase in the herd
netting 100000 in one year.
| MAMA" said a little Covington boy, "what
does heluffd meanT "Why, my child don't
| know. / never heard such word. Where did
| you hear it?' "Papa said IT," "WhenP Sun
day morning. / heard him tell Me. Jones that
| church was heuffa place to go when tho fishing
was so fine."-The Drummer.
The Missouri State Teachers association
struck blow for reform the other day when they
adopted q resolution providing that no member in
the association should receive the title OF profess
sor. As yet the barbers the tooth carpenters, the
corn extractors, and the members of tho society of
colonies have not rushed in to initiate their whole-
some example
"CAN'T you let me have some money this
morning, dear?" she asked, as her husband was.
about to leave. 'N No, love, not this morning II
"Why not? What are you doing with that big|
wad OF money you've got 2" "You must remem-
ber, love, that am to have this prescription filed
for the baby this morning" THAT'S a fact" she
acquiesced, IL didn't think of that"
SOMEWHAT off: One of the best known
members of the Bohemian club did not go to see
Barrett's Hamlet this week, but he asked the
atrical critic of a daily paper how the play went
and who played Mercutio. "Mercutol" gasped
the man of letters. "Mercutio!" "Oh, forgot"
responded the blk. m. of the Bohemian club,
II was thinking Of Macbeth. .'"-San Francisco
| Net0s. Letter.
THE Virginia Military institute at Lexinge.
ton, Va, has turned out l,2il graduates, OF whon
200 were killed in battle, 175 have become pro- !
fessors, lS5 mining and civil engineers 100 mer l
chants, "a farmers and planters, 90 physicians, SO
clergymen, and 10 bankers. The institute is supY
ported by the state, and is conducted upon th9
same principle as West Point. The present gradu. :
atng class numbers II.