Daily Republican., 1883-10-26

The soul by csre per picked,
Well knowing that To drink the gall
1t may be your turn next.
HUI MOROUS.
A few days since q developed speci
men Of those omnipresent gentlemen
termed street Arabs, and who 10 known
by the soubriquet of Shia," being un.
able to maintain his equilibrium be.
cause Of his having imbibed rather
freely, was compelled to retire to pri-
vate life for fortnight, with house.
rent free and q plank bed. During his
exile q rumor reached
home that be had "kicked the bucket"
to which he himself gave the best con-
tradiction by Appearing in the flesh one
day among the boys" unscathed and
without feather out Of him. His par
ish priest, whose ears the rumOrs had
also reached, one day meeting his
adoring parishiorer, address
I'D him: "Oh! Shia, my poor man,
! heard that you were dead but l didn't
believe it," :" Wisha, begorra, your
reverence" said Shia, "when I came
back heard tho same too, but sure
didn't believe 1t, aither.
AZ have been with you now three
said the junior clerk and
I think ought to have salary nearly
TO my service"
" HIM p replied his employer (" we'll,
times haven't been very good you
haven't had much to do, you know.
think Of giving you more than
iity dollars . month" Clerk " Beg
pardon, sir am not to blame because
you haven done business enough to
keep me busy. expect to get paid for
what know, not for wha do" EN-.
ployer "Oh That puts the matter
In new light. shall give you five
dollars a month hereafter.
"Good morning, Farmer Furrow,"
said the old deacon, a. he leaned over
the fence TO have q friendly chat.-
+" Mornin', deacon" nodded the far
mer. How 10 that sick pig this
morning." "Oh, that's gittin' along
right smart, l reckon" cheerfully re-
piled the granger. "And how Is the
rest Of your folks ?" continued the
deacon. The farmer said nothing, but
reached down, picked up an over ripe
melon and fred it right at the deacon's
head. "There p he exclaimed "by
the time yer git them ERE seeds out O.
yer ha'r, you'll find out how my folks
is."
An Italian organ. grinder recently es-
capped 9 fine by very ingenious excuse.
He had been playing before the house
of a very irascible old gentleman, who,
furiously and with wild gesticulations,
ordered him TO "move on" The organ.
grinder stolidly ground on, and was ar
rested for his disturbance. At the po.
lice court the magistrate asked him why
he did not leave when requested. "Me
no understan' mooch Inglese," was the
reply. "Well," said the magistrate,
F." but you must have understood his
gestures-his motions" " tinkee he
cou to Dance" was the rejoinder.
"Boss, l kaiut take dis twenty.A'
cents. It's got hole in 1t what's been
plugged up" said a negro to . custom
or. But you must take 1t. l got 1t
from you last night. Don't you remem-
Der ?" "Oh yes, / members. l know
dat l gin ter yer case didn't want it.
Eff had wanted it l would hab gin yer
some udder Quarter. Git OUT de- way
an let me cut of a piece Of bacon.
Mustn't stand rOun' de sto' when de
customers is so rampant ter buy some
thing"
"see here, SIR" exclaimed a grocer
bristling up with righteous indignation,
az The milkman made his morning call,
should just like you to explain how
the chalk and white clay that l found
in my coffee-cup this morning, got
there ?" Don't know, I'm sure,
answered the milkman, unless you
sweetened your coffee with the same
sugar you sold me yesterday"
A lady stood patiently before the
receiving.te .teller's window In bank the
other day but no one took any notice Of
her till she attracted the attention OF
the money-taker by tapping with her
parasol on the glass. "Why don't you
pay attention TO me ?" she asked, pc.
tulently. 81 am sorry, ma'am but
Wo uou Pny any oHAhh ho.o'
Next window, please" was the polite
response.
Two young city ladies in the country
were standing by the side of q wide
ditch, which they didn't knew how to
cross. They appealed to a boy who
was coming along the road for help,
whereupon he pointed behind them with
startled air, and yelled, "Snakes. "
The young ladies each crossed the ditch
at single bound.
A Memphis colored man was unable
to secure the services of q lawyer to de.
fsnd him on q charge of understanding,
because he had not paid his fee for q
previous acquittal In matter Of bed.
clothes stealing. Even his "Why,
boss, stole dat mule specially to sell
him and pay you!" did not affect the
lawyers obdurate heart.
Young Brown was out with his brand
new trotter, and, noticing Dumley has
tening along the street, hailed him.
+" Are you going down town :" he
asked. Eyes" shouted Dumley.
=" Well jump in and I'll tool you
down." "No thanks, old fellow, some
other morning-I am In q big hurry
just now"
"The Miller's Daughter" (not Ten.
nyson's). =" What is your father, my
pretty maid? 2" "Father's . miller,
sir" she said. (Which is his mill,
then, my pretty maid?" "That over
yonder, sir" she said "Why, that is
the tread mill, my pretty maid! p. "Six
months is his sentence, sir, she said.
He had turned and twisted In his scat
for nearly an hour, vainly trying to
make an impression on the young lady
who sat behind him. At last he asked
"Does the train stop a. Chatham
II don't know, SIR" she quickly re
piled, adding, "but hope 50, II you
think of getting out there"
An eminent scientist says that when
lady cannot ST down without her nose
becoming red, it shows that there il
wfnnk nj, La - A,1nsxl d