The Evening critic., 1883-02-23

THE scientific engineers think they can plug
up the mouth OF the Mississippi River, close
up all the outlets and regulate the current
with mud banks, and every food season shows
that they do not know so much as they think
they know. But common sense is SO uncom-
mon that the learned gentlemen who have
studied the great river In books have 1t all
their own way and will go on with their fool
ish performance Of closing up the outlets
and leave to inexorable Time the vindlcation
OF common sense,--NeMphts ArdkdicFe.
The only vindication needed are out
lets, or flOod-mouths, near the lower end
of the river directly into the gulf. These
outlets would lower the food-line of the
river and increase the velocity of the cur
rent, so that the outflow will be as great as
the inflow. When this is done there can
be no more overhows. At the same time
the bed of the river would be lowered and
the channels deepened. In fine, the outlet
at Lake Borgne would do more to produce
these desirable results than can be accom-
plishcd with all the money in the Treasury
of the United States in q hundred years
under the plans of the River Commission.
-S
THE most Objectionable legi Station usu-
ally is that tackled on to the Appropriation
bills. All sorts of schemes and jobs find
their way into the statute books by means
ofthese Objectionable riders. OF course oc-
casionally necessary and wholesome legisa-
tion is accomplished in this way, but not
sufficiently often to commend this method
to the dispassionate and disinterested. In
many Of the States the objection to this
way of legislating is overcome by giving
the Governor power to veto any spe.
cifc item of bill without including
the rest of the bill, or any other item
or items, in the veto. This plan has been
suggested to Congress, but the Commerce
Committee, in the elaborate defense of its
River and Harbor bill published yesterday,
declare it " absurd" and impracticable."
Yet thisp power of special veto will have to
be given to the President sooner or later,
the Commerce Committee to the contrary
notwithstanding. If this power is found
useful in the individual States, why
will it not prove all the more bene-
fetal when adopted by the United States {?
THE humbug Pendleton bill is to be car
ried out by the humbug d. B. Eaton (which
may be freely translated dead beat, eat
on'). Eaton was a member Of the Grant
Civil-Service Commission, which played
such pranks on the common sense of the
country that it was ANONYMOUSLY legis-
lated out of Office. Eaton has ever since
been bowling to get back He's back, un-
less the Senate has the grace to refuse to
confirm him. Among the aues-
tions asked of candidates for Department
clerkship, to be answered without book or
memorandum, is the following:
Name the four largest Islands OF the globe.
Try naming them off.hand!
The list of these idiOtc questions is
long one, and we will content ourselye
now with quoting single other:
A man Weighing ~ pounds runs with
velocity Of @ against n standing (but no
resisting) man whose weight Is 90 pounds
What is the result?
We don't think it would hurt anybod,
to have AlecS Stephens run against him
and he is the only man we know O
who weighs only ~ pounds. The truth
all the questions prOpounded by thi
former commission, considering their pur
pose, were silly and asinine. And yet thi
dreary farce is to be re-enacted
PARTY Of Yale students went over t
the Willimante Thread Mills on Wednei
day to investigate for themselves the re
lative merits of free trade aud protection
Their lesson in protection began with az
elegant lunch, very much on the 'champ