The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1883-03-07
NUMBER so.
PITH AND POINT.

One lawyer in Des Moines, Iowa,
has put through 189 divorce cases within
wear. The fare to Des Moines Is
about seven dollars.-Chicago Tribune.
The New York Commercial Alver-
tiSer suddenly remarks that: "The man
who bangs his hair hasn't enough sense
to blow out his brains, even If he pos
sessed any,"
Highly sugar coated: A New York
divorce lawyers advertisement reads:
"Hymeneal incompatibilities as spe-
cialty, carefully adjusted. IT'S slavery
to detain the hand after tho heart hath
fed"
A Pennsylvania paper tells OF a
family which has been poisoned by eat
ing pic containing arsenic. 1t seems
like work Of supererogation to put ar
senic into pie. A pie that can not kill
family without the help of arsenic is
very weak pie indeed.-Bwlingfon
HaWkeVe.
An African traveller gives thrilling
account of "vegetable vampire"-a
tree which envelopes person with its
branches and strangles him to death.
The nearest approach we have in this
country TO 0 vegetable vampire is the
"dead beat" who also lives upon 9TH
ers.-NorristoU Herald.
-"My mothers awful fickle," said
little Edith to Mrs. Smith, who was
making call. "When she saw you
coming I'D the street, she said There's
that horrid Mis- Smith; hope she isn't
coming here : and minute after she told
you she was real glad to see you. Mother
SAYS I'm tickle, but guess | don't
change my mind as quick as that
N. Y. Graphic.
1t took me four years to save my
first thousand dollars. 1t was saved
from a soldiers pay in the army, and
the BOYS often said "Charlie, You
might as well spend your money, for
you may never get home to use It," 1t
, required courage to resist the influence
to spend all, but the schooling Of those
four years was worth more than the
thousand dollars, for | learned to save
money.--CharieS W. Buck.
An old man would not believe he
could hear his wife talk distance OF
five miles by telephone. His better half
was in country store several miles
away, where there was telephone, and
the skeptic was also in place where
there was similar instrument, and, on
being told how to operate it, he walked
boldly up and shouted, "lIello, JancW
At that instant lightning struck the
telephone-wire and knocked the man
down, and as he scrambled TO his feet he
excitedly cried, "That's Jane every
time" Modern Argo.
, flames, dear, Reginald desires a
new sled | think you had better get
/ him one" "What's a sled good for to
himp You've brought him up to stay
g in the house and look pretty. He
r wouldn't know what to do with .one.'
:; "Oh, | don't mean one of thostg rea
4 big outdoor sleds. mean little
y house sled that he can play with in thu
i front hall, dear. just to get him accus
toned to the idea, you know" Lots o
little Reginalds are being cultivated in
doors, and they will either go to early
graves or grow up to be flats. -Bosto'
= Globe.
If we must talk about the weather
why not vary the formula, alt is {
pleasant day." Every one is tired O
), admitting that it is. Why not be scien
: tifically accurate when one meets
friendP The following is submitted as &
o specimen dialogue: Jones-"Ah, Mr.
+ Smith, I see we have cloudy weather
9 with ight rains" Smith with cheer
l. full smile)-"Yes, and variable wind
II shifting to colder northeasterly, station
&c airy or higher pressure" Jones'
y "Quite so; but it is gratifying to know
Il that the rivers will remain nearly sta
~ tionary and that the temperature ha
.n fallen thirty degrees in the Rio Grand
70 Valley. Good-morning, sir."-Bosto
no Advertiser.