davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15
Mr.. BAKERS NEA0RTAL.

We are pleased to notice that Hon. los.
A. Baker has introduces III the House a
memorial directing the attention Of Con-
gs'ess.t the necessity OF providing means
| Of irrigation for he vast tracts of public
/ land otherwise useless for any purpose,
and which otherwise could not be sold by
the government for any price. We are not
in possession of the full text 6 the memor-
we can say that the idea is d good one if
carried out in anything like a spirit com
mensurate with the undertaking Mr..
Bakers request is a very modest oHC. He
asks for $4,000. No doubt our townsman
expects to make this the entering wedge
| that will finally prodnco the resttit in view,
| but why should we beat about tie bush
in this matter. Let liz look at the facts of
the case. 1t will not be denied by anyone
who has been living long enough in Mon
tana to know what he is talking about, that
the area Of arabic land in the Territory is
limited by the amount Of water available
in dry seasons. That parties have raised
crops in some places without irrigation
proves nothing. All who have been here
from 1868 to1877 know that dur
ing that time there was net spot in
Montana where Il crop could be raised
without copious Irrigation. The writer
has seen during two years of that time,
1S73-'74 the soldiers Of the post OF Fort
Benton with the aid OF force pump,
working six men, try to irrigatc Il post gar
den, aud fail even to get the scrops to
sprout From 1877 to 1882 the seasons
have bean unusually moist, and many who
came to the country during that time can
see no reasons why crops can not be
raised here as well as where they came
from without the aid Of irrigation, and
in that conviction have expended large
sums III improvements upon farms that
could not be irrigated except at ruinous
cost. Last year, however, all these people
failed to raise anything, and next year
and many successive years are liable to be
LtlC sttiif 1AfIii IA O!tiJ tifG : SI%i IA IN
were like last year, attempts 10 raise crops
without The means Of irrigation would
cease. Hence we say that the area of ara
bic land in Montana is measured by the
water available for irrigation, If this be
true, then let us examine the situation IN
dry wears. such as we had from 1868 to
1877, and in this connection we only refer
to Northern Montana where the bulk of
the land susceptible of cultivation lies. In
the whole Of this county-ncluding all
the land not embraced in the mountains
there is over 40, GOO, ,103 acges. aud Of this
there is not 100, 900 acrcs that can be IL
rigated by the streams RAINING through it,
unless, Of course, some Of the larger
streams are utilized at enormous expense.
If, then, Mr., Bakers memorial will re
suit i'll giving US irrigation Of all the area
not reacIlable by streams, he will have
amply repaid the trouble OF eiccting him.
Butin view Of the enormous gains to the
Government is not $50 900 az mall appro-
nriation
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15
v. 2. BRA CH.

In recent article in the 4uaat Courier
it is stated that there is but little tributary
territory to the proposed Benton branch of
the Northern Pacific Railroad. The
Courier is laroring under a mistake, which
we must attribute to ignorance rather than
design. Let us see. Let the branch start
from either Billings or Livingston, and it
would first traverse the valley Of the Mus
selshell, thence through the judith
Basin. and thence through the Arrow
Greek Basin to Belt Greek, and down that
creek to Benton cia the Missouri river.
Now, if we go no farther, We can say that
the branch road has passed Though lar
ger tract of arabic and grazing Land Tran
the main line can boast of. from the time it
enters Montana, until its exit. But in ad-
(lition to this, it places the Maiden, Bar
ker, Montana, Wolf Creek, 1ogo and many
lesser mining distriets-under contribution
on its way. Having reached Benton by
either of these routes, it makes tributary
to it all the country north, northeast, and
north of Benton that has for years
found their market in this town. If now
the branch be extended, and it must be if
it wishes to compete with the other roads
pointing in this direction, then is the Sun
River, Teton and the MariaS country
open to it, which, taken collectively, en-
brace territory greatly in excess Of the
much-lauded Yellowstone valley; and in
addition to all this we have the Mix River
country, which, in extent, whether con-
sidered as an agricultural or grazing coan-
try, embraces larger area than all the
rest of Montana put together. 1t is very
questionable whether, if there had been u
proper reconnaissance Of the route of the
Northern Pacific, its present route would
have beer adopted. As it is, there is left be-
tween the Northern Pacific and the Canadi-
an Pacific at their crossing fthe main range
of the Rocky Mountains, a gap nearly 100
miles wide, and into this gap to-day, there
are pointed at least three Of the prominent
roads of the country, viz: the st. Paul
Minneapolis s. Manitoba, the Chicago &
Northwestern, and the Chicago, MilWaa-
kee 6 St. Paul railroads. This fact alone
is sufficient to refute the assertion OF the
AgaAt Courier that there is little tributa-
ry country TO the proposed Benton branch
! of the Northern Pacific. In addition to all
we have said about the tributary country
we may add that the Bear Paw Mountains
and the Sweet Grass Hills, have been
found to be mineral bearing and only
await the lifting of the dark vail of the In
dian reservation to bring them to the front
as mineral producers.
In The commencement OF this article We
gave Bro. Anderson credit for ignorance III
making his assertions, but remembering
that his attempting to take 4 baud Of
cattle over this tributary country once. lost
q number or them, We are inclined
now to the belief that his sight has become
defective, owing to the eireumseribed linz
Its of his locality.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15
I Oh OCY,
~ our own Idiot.

4 mule stepped forth in his strength Al
pride
One pleasant day ut cvcntitc.
Tie swung along with stately stride.
The road was dusty, the road w Is long;
70 amusa himse he burst in'o song
Hc-haw haw-he! he -haw!
Nj Thayer the book f2nd, sat on style,
A man of craft and deepest guile,
And when he saw this animile
T.. determined Mt once his fun to spile.
Hr-, Y. haW-he! he-haw!
lie waited till the mule should come along,
And then addressed him in sweetest song:
"What1ovely ears you have, sir mule,
Your tail is passing fair,
Your voico is very beautiful,
And rich your auburn hair,
':Aud rich your auburn hair, sir mule,
And rich your auburn hair;
Your voice is very beautiful,
And rich your auburn hair
With streaming eyes the good mule eyed
J he guileful man, and then replied,
He-haw! haw he! he-haw!
Ills hind foot shot out like o streak,
Thayer lodged and caught it on his cheek"
1t made the poor mules sinews creak
And gave his leg greater shock
Than if he had kicked giant rock,
And he said with Ioek ct grieved SURPRISE
In the hazel deaths of his beautiful eyes,
He-haw! hawhe! he-haW!
OF this tale there is but little left,
As a rule It's cold when mule gets left,
BmE 2 nv mules leg is far too weak
To penetrate the splendid cheek
OF such q man as Mr.. Thayer,
Whose very good friend we certainly aire-
Hc-haw! haw he! he-haw!
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15
xEgRsfwG. As USUAL.

The Helena Herald in noticing the death
of Clarke Mills, the sculptor, says that the
Goddess Of Liberty on the dome Of the
National Capitol is one Of his works.
Everybody except the Herald knows that
the statue referred TO was made after de-
sign of Thomas Crawford's, then just de-
ceased. The head-lress was horrible
conception of Jefferson Davis, and any
one might have known that person who
had the cold-blooded yillainy to design
such a monstrosity was fit tor treasons,
strategems and spoils." The head-dress
does not look SO badly, seen at its great
height, however, AMI few knew what the
design is. Mills may have !superintendcd
the casting. for All we know, or made the
IN Guilds, but nothing more.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15

The fears expressed by press and public
that the grand scenery Of Niagara and the
National Park will be ruined by specula-
tors, make us reflect with exultation that
the grandeur Of old Ocean, whose infinite
variety and awful majesty suggest all that
we know or can imagine Of the sublime
and the Omnipotent, is safe from the at
tacks of these vandals. Niagara may de-
generate into big water power, and the
National Park into a commonplace sum-
mer res ort, but with the awful, pristine
grandeur of the sea left ls, the taste for
the sublime need not ianguish and die.
Mr.. Byron, Il young and somewhat eccen-
tric Englishman, with a club foot and
CLUB morals, has expressed views some
what similar to the above. He-Mr. By
ron-is, however, now dead.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15

| 'f'o h"lpf ptus ana Inc ripping brooks
aid the mlrmuring trees join together it
their chorus to love, we two shall be uni
ted, never more to part,
George w. Simpscn altered these words
in those low, intense tones used by lovers
and at The same Time bent down and kisse,
the lncious lips Of the blushing girl " he
knelt upon the ottoman beside him. look
ing mp into his eye, with fervid extra.
hazardous patent-lever love-light beaping
in her own hazel orbs. Outside the storm
beat wild and fierce, but within the rosy
| flre-llght illumined II room, which all that
| enormous wealth could furnish, and The
most critical taste suggest, beautified and
adorned.
Eulalie McGilicuddy, was the only and
cherished daughter OF O'Donnell McGili-
cuddy. All that wealth could furnish had
been hers from infancy. The best OF
spruce gum had been brought her from the
distant forests Of Maine and Canada; and
slatc-penciIs from the most famous quar-
ries had been procured for her consump-
tion. 1t is not strange, therefore, thai
George ". Simpson should hesitate some
what before he en!iccl this brilliant but
delicate birIct from her gilded cage 10 live
with him upon the comparatively small
sum Of four dollars per week
"Yes" he continued fondly," Mr.. Mo
ses assures me that by that happy time he
will, raise nv s,,arv to he modest hnr very
comfortable snm Of five dollars each week
You will thereforo .s INV cherished wife
stand an as solid and firm i tootinv as
MAUI,
cno oo x ,,,,, ,n.u ot.,,oa
g. .i,,~,, .,o1 s.,,,,..,.. ,..,,a
ao.4 49,. ..,.:r. a,,,,,,.,' ,,a."v,,.1 ,,, +ho'
.:.,. ,.-... 7....,;...-..-,. .,,,-.,., ..,,
.,,s...~,. ~,
+. =, C.;.
.-,
,k,,,,.. Ta.oI D..<,ou
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W. ''o0 y,.','o 49, r--,..,1a -
'0'',''V'' '''' 0 s. .,pr':.
nv e
y W ',> ''''~'' ''>' ~''' - '''
'''I I:o' ,,o +,,a 80 x,or
'>'~.,N7 .1 .'.''' '''> f'''S'''
'e''o '''' - '''0 s
mo, sald great anu Sooo pn''an-
thropist, the mule is nor naturally Vicl-
Gus beast. "ni klho treatment le "o"'o
become gentle. II VIII pat MIN upon the
back. mo, sa'd the mule' as ne s'look us
hoo1 10 sec IL lie i'au loose"eo ii's sl'oe'
did not kick him mallclousiy, out my
nne sense OF humor pFohlPte" TIE oeeo.
,V ,.S><su "O'.N '',<'' '''''.'
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15
E9KBECFs4FTX.
Written for the RECORD by our special ImbecIle

Written for the RECORD by our special imbecIle.
~ love, love" said the Thomas cat,
As he sat on the area g tie,
And the great big shoe, and large brickbat,
The haIr-brrsh, Il. shoe-brush ans all that,
Paused in the midst of their vigorous fire,
And each in choTu~ d. quickly inquire:
"Uh who do you love?" Qnoth he, ''M'riar."
Ard he lifted lis back trife higher,
While uls beautiful yellow eyes shot fire,
And still with q voice Of wild desire,
lie cried: "Ilove, love, love M'riar!"
II hate. hate" said a white-robed man
From his windows lofty height,
And he hurled the tongs and an oyster caa,
And the family Bible and stewing pan,
And Iha cabinet clock and the sewing machine
Atthe cat W tn eyes Of yellow nd green.
',jh, who do you hate?' said the amorous cat
Il ro vase Of majo1ca knocked him Aat,
and he did rot hear, rs in dcath he tell,
Tho angry voice with triumphant yell,
l.Nclam, ~ hate you" All, me! ah, we'll!
Tha9 Thomas cat low sleeps in death;
B"t still, sometimes with bated breath,
1t the awful hour OF black midnight,
When the good sleep sound, but tho bad slum-
ber light,
nave heard his ghost. with the old desire,
Wal, II love, love, love M'riar.'
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15
RHTrER HAIR COLLECTORS

Mrs. Dawson Damer, an English lady of
rank, wh, :avelIed very extensively some
years az made a unique collection of
locks OF .ir OF prime notabilities. .-Es-
change.
We have met some aboriginal gentle
men who made collections Of similar
nature, although we believe they were not
particular whether the capillaries secured
were these OF "prime notabilities,' or
whether they belonged to bull punchers,
mule SINNERS, or other gentlemen OF a
similar type.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15
WHAT WE CAN Do.
limitations OF Some Journals.

Complaints are often made of the dull
ness Of country newspapers, and disadFan-
tageos comparisons are often instituted
between them and the metropolitan press
1t is said that provincial journals contain
no news, and nothing in fact Of interest"
There is no reason for this. The amount
of available news in winter is small. The
arrival of Peter Skimmerhorn, from the
ShOnkin, it is true, can be announced at
length in all the dignity of double-leads,
with a biographical sketch accompanied
by an appendix and glossary, and the
drunken antics of Michael Gilhooiey can
be expatiated upon to point moral aud
adorn column. Beyond this there is lit
tie in the way of local news. In the mat
ter OF interest, however, we are not going
to be behind the procession, and after
giving our readers some limitations of the
interesting writers Of the Eastern press,
we shall start upon wild career of inter
estng writing after our own peculiar and
diabolCal style. We shall adhere to this
resolution if we have to write a dime
novel day.
AFTER THE BROOKLYN EAGLE.
"Gimme a pair of drawers" howed
Mr.. Spoopendyke as his face appeard hot
and fiery from the neck of a stiffiy starch
ed shirt he hpl just been pulling on.
'.Gimme a pair o. srarched drawers, hunt
me up some starched stockings, dod gast
it where's my starched pantaloons and my
freshly done-up overcoat. Where are
they?"
"Hear they are DEAR" said Mrs. Spoop-
endyke soothingly, handing her husband
A pair of red flannel drawers.
"Where'd you get these measly things !
he yelled. "Bought the wardrobe or the
late Cardiff Grant? Contracted for the
underclothing of the Colossus of Rhodes.
bod CAST it look here and he pulled on
the capacious garments wrong side before
and drew it up and tried frantlcally to
button it round his neck.
"Been going into some kind
of male dress reform2 Going
10 be the dpoStIS Va ~ -~A'AS
clothing?l bod rot the measly things. All
YOU want is a business failure to be Kate
Field" And he struggled horribly TO un,
button the garments and release hims elf
"Great immortal Josephus" he screamed
as The staggered and fell against the bed
stead. "I've broke my arm"
"Are you hurt much, dear" said Mrs
s., hurrying to the relief of her strong
,er half.
"Hurt?" he howled. No, | amt.
enjoy breaking my bones. Used to breai
my measly backbone at school for amuse
ment. Used to fracture my ribs ane
splinter my dod gasted shoulder blades TO
recreation. No, amt hurt. I'm howl
ing because am SO ge-whiz, dod gastet
happy.
cit must have been the mistake OF tn
washerwoman" said Mrs. ,Spo0pendyke
effectively as she took the mammoth gar
rent ard put it bacl. in the drawer.
AFTER THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE.
when the spring comes, Eulalle, an'
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15
NoT THE REAvJUSTER

The Court Of Appeals has affirmed the
conviction Of Pasquale Malone for mrr-
der. Malone killed his wife and mother
in-law, in June, 1881. The night warden
has not yet told him Of his fate f.
change.
One of our corps of proof readers Is a
beautiful Spanish lady, with big liquid
eyes and raven hair, etc., ETC., and when
IL ] moment OF leisure she read aloud the
title to the above clipping from an eA-
change, forgetting that she was not read
ing the soft Cas,ilian, she gave that the
Spanish pronunciation. We thought Re-
adiuster Malone was ID be hung, anc
tainted. We are, however, still to be
found at the old stand with better asort'
ment than ever before.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15
Talk about the amenities Of Western Ii

Talk about the amenities of Western lti-
CATION. AT the Star Route trial at Wash
ington, on the 26th, W,Iie, the justice pre-
siding, paused in the midst of some re-
marks and turning suddenly and with
great ind gnation, he said to Williams,
WHO was smiling, 'What do you mean by
sneering and giggling like fool at the
decisions of this court. Williams: Il
don't understand you. | don't believe
the courts language warranted. [ was
talking about another matter and did not
hear you'''--Court: "You should have been
listening ng''-Williams "Your Honor has
not decided the question yet. I could not
express any opinion upon it''-Court:
'sThe Court accepts your disclaimer and
owes you an apology for the severity of its
language
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15

The Democrats of the Council have
made record this session that will send
each and every one of them prematurely
to the political grave yard.-Riuer Press.
Yes, to gaze re1eetiyely upon the green
mounds raised above the political re-
mains Of their late Republican adversa-
ries, and magnanimously exclaim, Alas,
Poor Yoricks ~
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15


The medieval custom Of exposing the
heads of persons executed for State offen-
ces and distributing their members among
different cities for public exhibition was
not cheerful practice, and its revival
would not perhaps, meet with general ap-
proval. But in what respect it was worse
than the recent action of the authorities in
mounting Guiteau's skeleton for exhibi-
ton at the Medical Museum in Washing
ton, does not appear. No scientific end
can be attained The skeleton will be pre-
cisely like that Of any other man whose
neck was broken by hanging. Guiteau
was rather small man, not very well
built, and his skeleton, from an anatomi-
cal standpoint will not, therefore, be par
ticularly fine. The motive, therefore,
which prompts the exhibition is either to
pander to morbid and beastly curiosity,
or to indulge the same feelings which in
the middle ages garnished the walls of
cities and the battlements of castles with
the ghastly, rotting heads Of political
offenders. A vengeance which follows its
object after death is revolving and bagba-
rOlls
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15

The Niilsr fools with the ssblizzardD
rhyme business which we triiied with some
days ago, and gets away with it in better
style than we did. But then we didn't
half try.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15

many thousand dollars to naval officers for
past travel abroad. Tils practice has been
to pay officers travelling aithont the Uni
ted States only their actual expenses.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15

The Miner says that the Prince of Wales
and salt will visit rs in March. Hope
It'll be his best suit.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15

The cry OF carpet-bagism in the popula-
sense Of the term may not have much
meaning. Few of our citizens care to go
To the time and expense to which pilgrims
are ready to go, to secure Federal COM
missions in this Territory. But carpet
bagism rises from a party cry to the
dignity of stern demand when it warns
SURVEYOR General Harris not to import all
his clerks from Colorado when Montana
can afford better and more skillfulI men !;
when it tells the ''Assay<r in charge at
Helena that Montana can bring to his as
sislance all the talent he demands without
Washington or European assistance; when
it hints to Gov. Crosby that he could have
found competent clerks and able amanu-
euses in Montana.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15

Early timers about whom there still
fingers the odor Of the sage bushmay be
somewhat alarmed at the arrival of q gov
ernor whose departure from New York
and whose arrival at various points en-
route with his suite, has been heralded by
the Associated Press to the uttermost points
of the Eearth; who was dined and wined
at every stopping place; who has Gener-
al for his private secretary (wonder who
was Potts private secretary, and who is
said to come to this out-ofthe-way pro-
vince with full pro-consular powers.
There is, however, no cause for alarm.
Schuyler Crosby, the New. York delettanti
and accomplished gentleman of leisure,
under the influence Of our free and hearty
customs, will forget Eastern fooleries, and
descend to the plain common-sense of
everyday life,s and, perhaps, like his
worthy predecessor, become an honest
ranchman, in which latter case We wish
him all the ambi-dexterity in stock raising
which Governor Potts is said to possess.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15

The motion in the House of Representa-
tives to abolish the pay earIss of the Navy
is one of those idiotic ideas which some
times fit into the Congressional brain
after dose Of cold tea in the restaurant,
or Il toddy at our friend sandersons'. The
pays aSter of a naval vessel is paymaster,
qaartermaster, commissary and general
financial agent for the whole outfit-of-
ticers and crew. His duties are onerous
and difficult. HE receives about two
thirds OF the compensation which pay
masters in the army receive, and he does
more work in one cruise than the army
paymaster does. in his lifetime. Happily
the naval pay corps is not in danger. The
threatening measure will not pass.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-02-15

No man living walks ina straight line.
The squarest footed walker walks TO the
right or left distance of thirty-Six feet in
a mile. In ease there is a saloon on the
way he may diverge as much AZ $50 feet.
-ErchGnge.
Does this detection include the deyia~
ton after leaving The saloon, or only that
of going to it?
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1883-01-22
BY TELE GRAPH.
Associated Press kilograms to the Daily
Kannsbec Journal
MAINE DISPATCHES.
RUN ON a BATH SAVINGS BANK.
The Bank Examiner Says the Bank II
SOlvent-There is Probable Surplus
Of $4,000 Above Liabilities.
RAIH. Ian 20.


A run on the Peoples 25-cent Savings
Bank has caused that institution to suspend
payment. The run has been quite light, but
on account OF prevailing rumors, depositors
are becoming nervous. and there was i'm
mediate prospect of a general clamor for
money. To protect itself and its creditors
the bank has stopped payment until the ex-
citement should subside. The failure of the
Pacific National Bank Of Boston, in which
this institution had S42, 900 on deposit. has
been the chief source of uneasiness. Bank
Examiner Richards was in town Saturday in
response to a telegram from Cashier john
son. He states the concern is solvent,with
surplus of about $50 above all liabilities.
There is no cause for alarm, and depositors
generally are now taking this view Of the
matter. The money on deposit in the
wrecked Pacific Bank is presumably safe, as
the stockhold.r. of the National Bank are
liable to the depositors, but the prospect Of
lengthy and complicated litigation places
an uncertain value on this particular item OF
assets, The amount of deposits in the %
cent Savings Bank is 100000, and there
could be but a small percentage Of loss to ia
dviduaIs in any event. Should any act Of
the depostors precipitate matters, the bank
will have to scale down, perhaps 0per cent,
but if How ed to go on and let things take their
course, with the present good business pros
poets, the managers are confident that de-
positors will save all.