davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-10-18
His First Laugh.
New Haven News.

Years ago an inn was kept at Amber st
Mass, by man who was never known to
laugh, This popularity gave rise to a
wager by a young man that he could make
mine host laugh. He proceeded to the
hotel, and sauntering in, saluted the land
lord thus:
"Good day, Mr.. Warner. How long have
you kept this place, Mr.. Warner?"
"Well, I've kept it all day guess"
"Mr. Warner won't you make me rum
or whiskey sour?"
''The sours are all out was gruff1y an
swered.
well, just mix one pop, anyhow, and
look into it. That will make it sour
enough"
The drink was made, the young man
tried it and choked and coughed. Splitting
the first swallow out, he again appealed to
the landlord.
Now, won't you make another, and just
keep one eye shut this time, please 2"
The landlord, convulsed, broke out into
just one loud guffaw, the first laugh for a
lifetime. Then he invited the young man
ito take drink on him." The wager was
won.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-10-18
Dogs in Baggage Cars.
Waterbury American.

Waterbury Americana
Two ladies from this city while in New
York the other day purchased terra Gotta
pug for an ornament. On coming home
they placed the clayey canine image upon
the car seat between them. Along comes
the conductor for tickets. He begs the la
dies pardon, but politely informs them
that the company IS rules positively exclude
all dogs from passenger coaches.
ii I'VE will keep the little fellow here on
the seat, and assure you that he will do
no harm" replied one of the ladies.
But must not deyiate from the rules. "
said the conductor, sand shall be obliged to
take your dog to the baggage car"
"Very well, then, if you must sighed
the ladies, and the conductor reached over
and carefully lifted the craven image, real
lied the sell, felt foolish, and heard the
laughter of a score of passengers ringing in
his ears
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-10-18
THE MOUNTAINS AND SEA.

Come down. come down. says the restless sea,
To the restful mountain high;
Come down where WOO the fleur-de-llS
Meath simmer of sunlit sky"
Come up come up laugh the mountains blue,
Come up from the glistening sand
Come up and bathe in the diamond dew
That Jewels the mountain land"
Come down, come down." says the glimmering
sea,
And bathe in my love lit SWELL
Come down and kiss the anemone
And toy with the mussel shell"
Come up come up says the mountain mist
To the pulsing, homeless sea,
Come up and rest in my shadows, kissed
By the breath of the laurel tree"
Then the mountain mist and the mist from the
sea
Met in the starlight white
And the mist that gems the teur-de-lls
With the mountain mist took flight.
They hoated away to the phantom land,
To the haunted mountains blue,
For ever and aye 10y enchantment famed,
They bathe in the phantom dew.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-10-18
THE BOY AND THE FROG.

See the frog the Shiny, green frog.
Doing away on that old rotten log;
Seriously wondering
What caused the sundering
OF the tail that he wore e when a wee polywog.
See the boy, the freckled schoolboy,
Famed for crssedness free from alloy,
Watching the frog
Perched on a log
With feelings akin to tumultuous joy.
See the rock, the hard, finty rock,
Which the frecked-faced boy at the frog doth
sock,
Conscious he's SHINING
Yet gleefullv grinning
At'the likely result of its terrible shock.
See the grass, the treacherous grass,
Slip from beneath his feet Alas!
Into the mud
With dull thud,
He falls and rises q shiny mass.
Now see the frog, the hilarious frog, e.
Dancing Jig on his old rotten log,
Applying his toes
To his broad, blunt nose
As he laughs at the boy stuck fast in the bog.
i
Look at the switch. the hickory SWITCH
Waiting to make that schoolboy twitch,
When his mother knows
The state of his clothes
Won't he raise his voice to the highest pitch?
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-10-18
Advice to Brides.
[Philadelphia Public Ledger.

Philadelphia Public Ledger
When the bride, Oh her bridal journey,
is a sensible young person, she will keep
her silk suit in her trunk for a suitable oc-
casion and not wear it on the railway train.
A pretty young girl the other day, making
an expedition to the Catskills and leaving
New York ON rather early train, wore
black silk dress-but white Spanish lace
fichu, with broad Gainsborough hat and
nodding plumes. 1t got quite cool in the
cars on the northern journey, but there
was no wrap available. If she had shawl,
it was packed away in her trunk. The
groom, who had given no advice, evidently,
to his spouse, or perhaps did not know, had
a stout cheviot suit, and must have been,
as he looked, quite comfortable. Arriving
at the railway terminus and taking the
stage for the further pull up the mountain,
it made one spectators teeth chatter to see
how confidently the little bride climbed
into the vehicle, still in the airy fichu, not
a scrap of woolen for her shoulders and her
face white with cold. Probably in her
modest outfit for the wedding there was a
flannel dress or woolen stuff of some kind
intended for the house. IF she had put
that ON for the journey and saved her best
black silk for home uses, she would more
nearly have been on level with the city
persons, who had left their diamonds at the
bank and had taken two woolen suits and
one cotton gown for a fortnight's journey
among the mountains. Home, and not
hotel parlors and, least of all, the parlor
cars, is the place to wear ones pretty, airy
clothes. In public crowd on a journey
all delicate wear is sure to encounter dust,
rain or chilling cold The plainest flannel
suits are the best for climbing, beach loung-
ing and comfort generally.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-10-18
Troublesome Boys.
Letter to the London Telegraph.

Letter TO tnc LONDON leieRrapl.J
say that am father of five boys, and
I ask what am l to do with them? tried
to get one into bank where thefrst years
salary was EGO, but there was no room.
Merchants Offices are full. Engineers of
far greater talents than my boys are ever
likely to possess are going about in search
of work or business in any other calling
than that to which their fathers had to pay
heavily to apprentice them. have thought
of the bar, but have been made to recOil
from all thoughts of it by the scores OF dis
NAL stories which have been poured into
my ears in reference to that vocation. l
have mentioned the sea, but have been
warned that there are hundreds Of captains
and officers who cannot get work, and that
the calling is so densely crowded that
nothing but interest enables a man to
squeeze through. / have thought of the
army, but irrespective Of the dismay occa-
stoned by being informed of the cost of
educating and dressing and supporting a
youth as military officer, I was alarmed
and effectually diverted from all thoughts
of using that branch of the service as
channel for my boys by hearing of the hun
dreds of starving captains, colonels and
generals who are hunting about in all di-
rections for any sort of occupation, not even
disdaining posts which are absolutely
menial in their duties. Dared think Of
music as a profession? Not for long was
that present to my thoughts when heard
of the sums paid to songwriters, and when
the dreadful drudgery and the pitiful earn
ings OF the poor music-teacher were pointed
out to me. The church? Alas! there is
no poor man poorer than the poor clergy
man, there is no calling more crowded ;
and without bishops to bring to my sons
help, how would it profit me to make Linn
or his brothers parsons, and have to allow
them income after going to the expense Of
educating them for the ministry? Emil
grafton? The colonies do not want gentle
men. The backwoods Of America do
not require cultivated manners and an
acquaintance with the Greek and Latin
poets. 1t is muscle and sinew, it is the
spade and the axe-the mason, the black
smith, the cook, that young countries need
Is it my fault or society's that my boys
are not qualified to take that rough, up
hill, sweat-moistened path that conducts
the patient, industrious artisan emigrant
in the colonies from his one room to COM
Portable home? The misfortune of gen.
tility is that it is restrictive. There are
things it would rather starve than do in
this country, and there are things it is
forced to starve over because it cannot do
in the colonies. | do not wish to 90 to the
expense of passage money in sending my
boys thousands of miles away to be
walters, billiard-markers, stone breakers,
cab drivers, or locomotive stokers
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-10-18
Fame of Rich Men.

Said Emory Storrs in group of rich
men at Saratoga: "You fellows think
yourselves highly essential. Have you OBJ
served that there are only two rich men OF
antiquity whose names -Cresus,
who served to turn poets figure, and
Dives, who was fortunately associated with
pauper?" Before the laughter following
this remark had subsidized, Storrs added:
"How many as well-known fellows as you
were sitting in Athens once, observing that
the obscure cuss, Phidias, was long time
doing that ornamental work up stairs
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-10-18
NoTALwAYs WHAT THEY SEEM.

Only the leaf of a rosebud,
That fell to the ballroom floor
Fell from the tinted clusters
OF the big bouquet she wore.
Quickly he stopped and seized it,
It's the leaf of a rose, said he,
Tinted with summers bushes
And dearer than gold to me.
"LoN ely and fragrant petal,
Some sweet summer night, VINO KNOWS,
may have chance to tell her
treasured the leaf of the rose"
But when to his lips he pressed it
He muttered in accents wroth,
THE blamed thing is artificial
And made out of cotton cloth.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-10-18
Senator Edmund,s Breakfast.

Mr. Geo. Pomeroy of Toledo, tells an
agreeable reminiscence of Senator George
H. Edmunds late visit to Canada: Henry
Hogan of St. Lawrence Hall, man Of fifty
five of an English father and French moth
er and speaking French like native, is a
rare sportsman, an old steeple-chase rider,
and has fine salmon river on which fish
weighing forty-six pounds. He told me
that some people he knew in Washinton or
New York wrote him, asking that he invite
Senator Edmunds to fish in his river, but
line an old sportsman he was wary, and
first wrote to New York and Boston to
find out what kind of person the senator
was before he invited him. l presume
the report was satisfactory, for he had him
on, and more than that, went up there to
fish with him. One morning they went
out early to make kill, and whether sue
cessful or not / do not remember; but it
got along to where Mr.. Hogan was hungry
and proposed going to lis cabin for break
fast. The senator demurred, saying he
had couple of biscuits and piece of pork
and some gin, and that was enough for
both, or Mr.. Hogan could have it all. Mr..
Hogan laughed at the prospective spread,
but Mr.. Edmunds proceeded to soak the
biscuits and build fire, over which he
hung the pork on spit, splitting the bis
cults and putting them underneath to
catch the drippings from the pork, which
all cooked out, leaving only the leat, while
the buscuits frying in the pork fat were de-
licious Whether they took gin before or
after have forgotten, but the breakfast
seemed to have cemented the friendship of
the two men.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-10-18
What Gloves Are to a Woman.
Boston Saturday Evening Gazette.]

Boston Saturday Evening Gazette.
A critical observer makes this sensible
remark: "a woman's glove is to her what
a vest is to a man." Precisely. When a
man is agitated or perplexed he at once at
tacks his vest buttons, thus giving occa-
sion for certain very expressive slang
phrase. A woman's vest does not admit of
this sort of pull down." but her glove is
always source of inspiration and refuge
from any embarrassment, She smooths on
the fingers, rearranges the buttons, drags
out the wrinkles, looks critically at the fit
and does dozen little things with her
glove that betray or allay nervousness and
quite sustain the truth of the above quo
tatiOn.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-10-18
Women Writers of Maine.
Lewiston (Me.) Journal.

Lewiston (Me) Journal
Not long ago we chanced to meet Mr..
HowelIs, who, in our judgment, is the fore
most of our American living literary work.
ers, and asked him who, in his judgment,
was the ablest writer of short stories in
America. Without directly answering that
question, Mr. Howells replied that he re-
garded Sarah o. Jewett as one of the most
charming and artistic of our literary work.
ers, and whoever has read her Deephaven
must have been impressed with the trans
parent beauty of its style and the subtle
charm and atmosphere in which she clothes
the most commonplace matters and things.
Miss Jewett is a Maine woman and resides
in North Berwick. When in Rome, Italy
not long ago, we were conversing with the
sculptor Simmons, respecting Maine artists
in that city, when he called our attention
to the fact that Miss Mary Agnes Tinckner,
whose powerful literary work has attracted
so much attention, is a native of Ellsworth
Maine, and that Miss Wells, daughter of
Judge Wells, formerly of Portland, has
Just published work held in high esteem
among Roman antiquarians. The History
of Frascati, the ancient Tusculum. Our at
tention was also called to the fact that Miss
Fletcher, the novelist, daughter of the
Rev. Mr. Fletcher, is to be classified as a
Maine woman. Miss Fletcher is now writ
ing another novel in London. She is held
by the American colony in Rome to be ca
pable even Of better work than the already
excellent work that she has accomplished.
Miss Blanche Willis Howard, of Bangor,
did a brilliant thing when she wrote One
Summer. There is no doubt that in the
matter of authorship she made mistake
when she expatriated herself. She has done
nothing since her residence abroad that is
equal to the book which was so wholly
American, so wholly unique, and so wholly
worthy of the reputation it achieved for
its author The list of Maine women who
are well-known authors includes that
charming writer for little women Sophie
May Miss Rebecca S. Clark, whose home
is in Norridgewock. Fanny Fern" is Port
land born. Harriet Prescott Spoford is
Calais woman. Florence Percy" Mrs AL
LEM is well known as a versifier. The part
which our Maine women have played in
authorship is one of which the State may
well be proud
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-10-18
An Additional Remark.
New York World. I

At a wedding recently in Canton, Mo-,
a "parson," who is generally ready at re-
partee, was knocked off his balance and
completely nonplused by an addition to
his ceremony by an aged matron, who inn
mediately after hearing the words, whom
God hath joined together let no man put
asunder," exclaimed with great earnestness,
"Or woman, either, for they are just as bad
as the men,
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-10-18
TWO NEGATIVES.

! gave him his first rejection
At Newport, year ago;
At Christmas. with proper reflection,
Again in New York, L said NO"
There's in grammar a rule, remember
Two negatives-how does it run?
So the cards have gone out for september,
And my white satin gown is begun.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-10-18
OCTOBER.

Fair buds of promise have yielded their treasure,
Autumn has crowned all the oountifui year,
Filling with plenty the o'erfowing measure,
Gladning our hearts with its fruit and It's cneer'
Beautiful golden October is here.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-10-18
BANGING.

o see the young girl
In beauty rare,
Sans kink, sans curl,
Banging her hair.
And hear the young man,
At the piano there,
Hard as he can,
Banging his air!
A young mother stands,
Oppressed with care,
With slipper in hand,
Banging her heir!
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1883-12-14
General News.

The interest on the English national deb,
amounts to thrice the estimated income of all
the members of the House of Peers.
The graves Of the Pilgrim Fathers who
came over in the May flower and were buried
during the fret winter have just been dis
covered near Plymouth. Only two skeleton.
were found.
One hundred priests at Ancona, Italy, have
held meetings with . view to organize q
strike in the event of the failure of their ef
forts to have the amount paid for saying mas.
increased.
Anybody who watches the southwestern
sky just after sunset will see q brilliant star
cleaning in the twilight very near the poinl
on the horizon where the sun disappeared
1t 10 the planet Venus, and this 10 her frs,
evening appearance before the public since
she made her famous transit across the eur
= year ago.
Despite the inventions Of recent years the
largest telescope in the world Is still Lord
Roses at Parsontowm, Ireland, although il
was constructed some forty years ago. 1t ID
also the most powerful in respect to its light.
grasping capacity, very important matter
in the study Of faint objects. such as nebule.
Its mirror is six feet in diameter, and the
length of its tube is 80 feet.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1883-12-14
Personal.

Julian Hawthorne is writing a novel for a
Boston paper.
General Sheridan intends to visit Florida
shortly on military business.
''Victor Hugo is in excellent health" says
London Truth, "but suffers from ennui.'
DR.. Bliss received 1000 letters during the
eighty days of President Garfeld's illness.
He has had them classified and listed for use
in history of the case.
Charles Francis Adams, Jr., has several
times of late asserted very positively in con
versation his belief that within two years the
study of Greek as requirement for admission
to Harvard College will have been entirely
done away with
Patti has been communicating few per.
sonal "reminiscences to the Paris Figaro.
Among them are the following: ''Once dur.
ing performance of Linda" she says, 81
received a number Of bouquets, the last OF
which was composed very oddly. One Of the
flowers fell out on to the stage, making a
regular thud. 1t consisted of an enormous
ball of lead, which, if it had been more firmly
tied to the bouquet, must have struck my head
As it was, the bouquet, hit my shoulder. -
On another occasion the curtain fell on Nine.
PATHS head, and she was saved only by the
fashion then prevailing of rolling up her hair
high upon hir head. But it was not q mere
accident. She has had matches put into the
water she drinks and has even received pois-
oned gloves with request to let the maker
call them by her name.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1883-12-14
NO. 294.

enough to them; but the unffequent
mountainous country always brought .
packet to the captain. and never failed to
carry back another. Then came . change.
A mail came to Pocahontas without letter
for Capt. Gelsthorpe. Again and again he
wrote but mail after mail came and still NO
letter. The captain feared he had been for
gotten, and daily awaited the return Of his
ring. but it never came, and finally he deter
mined to 20 to Connecticut and learn the
worst. In the meantime Rose Clark, too,
had been waiting in vain for tidings that never
came. The letters stopped, and soon hope
and love withered in her heart; but pride
came to her rescue. and in at Of pique she
listened to Norman Ambler's wooing and be-
came his wife. Then Col. Gelsthorpe came
upon the scene, and she learned too late that
both had been victims. Their letters had been
intercepted and two lives ruined. The
despair that followed ruined her after life.
Believing Amber to have been the miscreant,
who, to further his own suit. had stopped her
letters, she hated him as only an injured
woman can, and from that time began the life
that dragged her down. Losing her respect
for the man who should be . wife's pillar Of
strength and honor, she Needed not her own
voice, and then Il 10 supposed che listened to
the voice of the tempter and began the down.
ward career that ended in murder. Capt.
Gelsthorpe returned to West Virginia and
found solace in close application to his study
of law. Subsequently he married and 10 row
the head of happy family. These facts
have become known since the tragedy and
are given to the world for the first time.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1883-12-14

Dailp Kerneher JournaL
Protecting Manures.

An Exchange remarks: There is some
difference of opinion as to protecting ma
nures against rain, wind and the exhaust
ing effects of the SUM- Doubtless all these
have An injurious influence upon the ma
nure heap. and it is certainly true that
without any moisture at all from rain. it
will not be improved. However this may
be, we are very certain that unlimited ex-
pesure to the weather will prove highly
injurious to the quality OF the manure. A
leading farmer told us some time age that
he regarded the complete exposure of the
manure heap through the winter and until
it can be used in the spring. to damage it
fifty per cent. In other words. one load
of well-protected manure is worth two of
the exposed. This seems almost incredi-
BILE. but it may not be far from the truth.
There is no question that \ subject
which SO vitality concerns the farmer as
this one of manure and causes him to give
so much attention to it, possesses great
merit. His straw is not to be sold because
it is to be converted INTO manure. Stock
is fed through the winter tor the express
purpose Of faccumulating manure. Articles
that scarcely pay to send to the city are
nevertheless hauled there in order that
manure may be brought back as return
load and yet the whole Of the manure
gathered is frequently all the season
exposed to the sun. wind and rain until
it is greatly diminished in value -
one-half according to the opinion of our
agricultural informant. The trouble is,
that few really believe that exposed ma
nure undergoes this serious loss. Hence.
in arranging farm buildings-and we
know many that are SO arranged-that it
will pay we'll to look almost as much to
the preservation of the manure as of the
hay or grass; and those whose buildings
have no provision for this purpose, cannot
spend $25 to $50 better than in putting up
a shed under which the manure heap may
be protected against these adverse influ-
ences.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1883-12-14
Rose Clark-Ambler.
ROMANCE OF HER EARLY LIE IN WEST
VIRGINIA.

From Pocahoptas county, West Virginia,
comes this story Of Rose Clark Ambler's
first love: Years before the war, Sheldon
Clark, an uncle of the murdered girl, wan.
dered into Greenbrier territory and married
and settled down. He soon became wealthy
40 . stock raiser. In the summer of "a
while the rebellion was at its height, Capt
Clark Of Connecticut came to visit his
brother Sheldon, and brought his daughter
Rose with him. She was then in her teens,
and Is described ~ bright, happy. winsome
girl. A minnie ball in the battle Of the
Wilderness brought the lover to complete the
play. Capt. James Gelsthorpe of the confed-
crate army received bullet in the chest in
that dreadful afray. and came back TO his
home on the Greenbrier to recover. He had
just left his couch and was '.pale and inter-
esting," and, withal, just the specimen OF
southern physical manhood to captivats the
fancy of . romantic young girl. lie and
Rose met and became lovers. A short time
after their acquaintance began both were
members Of . boating club on the Greenbrier.
Their canoe was overturned on the rapids
and Rose Clark made her way to shore, -.
sisted by the arm Of the gallant officer, with.
out whose aid she must have perished.
This incident brought matters to . climax
A tale was told beneath the spreading green
wood, and when Rose shortly after returned
TO the north, she wore on her finger the rims
that vas . pledge she was to redeem BY b.
coming the bride Of her rescuer. The week
spsd By afssr their separation, though Slovly