Daily globe., 1883-08-26
PLEASANTRLES.

A NEAR-sIGHTED man calls his specta-
cles his eyedols.
"BoYcE will be Boyce," remarked
young lady of that name. as she reject
ed suitor for her hand.
AN old gentleman, being asked what
he wished for dinner, replied, "An ap-
petite, good company, something to eat
and clean napkin"
IT has been said that chattering lit
tie soul in large body is like swallow
in barn-the twitter takes up more
room than the bird.
A MAN sometimes forgets, before he
has paid, whether he has paid or not;
but after he has paid, he never forgets
that he has paid. Man is naturally
liar.
THERE is no accounting for tastes on
this terrestrial sphere. A Frenchman's
shrug is considered of no particular i'm
portance, while Turkish rug is regarded
with admiration the world over.
DO wonder, murmured a Philadel-
phia woman, how us females, when We
become angels, will manage without
hair pins. You will have to get along
with airy pinions then, my dear.
A PROF. CUNNING, up in Michigan, is
lecturing on CATER Man, What? ?" A
Fort Wayne editor, who has been there,
rises to remark that it is generally the
Sheriff or some woman. an.--Ha,Ukeye.
INDIGNANT boarding mistress-"W Why,
what are you there for?" Fat boy on
table" Mr.. Hewlett put me here. He
says it's his birthday, and he wants to
see something on the table beside hash!"
We often hear of woman marrying q
man to reform him, but no one ever tells
about a man marrying woman to re-
form her. We men are modest, and
don't talk about our good deeds much.
--NeW York Times.
IT is not strange that the Atlantic
should be rather ugly occasionally, as it
is SO often crossed. Commercial BIlEe-
tim. It should draw lesson from it's
sister ocean, who, though often crossed,
is always of Pacific disposition.
The best sermon in the world never
yet reconciled the proud man, trying to
curl his feet up and out Of sight under
the pew, to the painfully obtrusive and
evident fact that the wife of his bosom
had used his blacking brush to polish
the kitchen stove.
A TIDY young lady, short of stature,
married man six feet four inches tall.
She explained to her friends that he
would be so handy to have in the house;
he could light the chandelier in the
parlor and hang pictures without get
ting on the chairs and soiling them with
his boots.
TYNDALL's theory that heat is simply
motion In another form must be true.
Strike a piece of iron and it becomes
hot. Strike man and he Immediately
boils over. There is, however, one ex-
ception to the rule. Strike a warm
friend for a short loan and he at once
becomes as cold as an iceberg.
"OH, missus,' exclaimed Bridget, as
she appeared pale and trembling before
her mistress at 10p m.; "there's some
body trying to get in the front door,"
els it goat, Bridget !" "No, 'um."
els it woman?" "No, 'um." sis
it man ?" eyes, 'um." Good look
ing?" eyes, 'um." "WelI, let him
come in" The courage Of true woman
never fails her.
"PICkIN' UP DE STITCHES"
Pckin' up de stitches, pickin' up de stitches, de
NIarstern come bimeby.
De Great Obersear, He'll call up de chiluns to show
deir work bimeby.
Pckin up de stitches, pickin' up de stitches, workn
de long day froo,
Doin yo' bes', at de big or de little, whuteber you
fines to do.
Pickin' up de stitches, pickin' up de stitches, He
gibs you de work ter do.
Oh, pick up yo' stitches, chilluns, pick up yo'
stitches,
De Mas'er'l be here bimebJ.
De great Oberseer1I call you up, chiIluns,
To 'sibit yo' work in de sEg.
Negro hymn.