Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-11-23
Carving a Canadian Goose.

Mr. McCloud will please carve the
gooSe!'
These words were addressed to a
young man who made one of a party
at breakfast table the other morning
The table was standing in a house on
King street, near Widmer, and the
Observation-Disclosures would be better
fitting word-was given in honor of
young couple who had been married
about an hour before. There was no
threat contained in the words above
quoted, but nevertheless they sent
thrill of terror through the young man
to whom they were addressed He had
never cut up anything before except a
few capcrs when out with the boys at
night, and the idea of carving a goose
before company made him so nervous
that he fancied the other gaests were
beginning to regard him as akin to the
bird he was called upon to mangle.
However. he was ashamed to show
his ignorance of useful accomplish
ment, so he drew a long breath and
the carving knife toward him. As he
arose to his feet the eyes of the party
were upon him. So was the goose a
moment later, for it slid from beneath
his fork and flew like real live bird
out of the dish and into his very best
waistcoat OF course expressions of
sympathy We're rendered from all
sides, but somehow or other they
didn't make the young man feel bet
ter or look less greasy. The goose
was returned to the dish, and Mr.. Nc
Cloud returned to the work before him.
The accident had not a reassuring eff
feet upon either the carver or the com
pany, and the renewed operations
were watched with greater interest
than before. This increased interest
in his maueuverS with the roast goose
had a tendency to make the nblIging
gentleman quite careless as to whether
he attempted to carve with the edge or
back of his knife; and as matter of
fact, he did try TO dismember the goose
with the broad back of the carver
He thought at the time that the bird
was COMPOUNDED tough" not being
aware of his endeavor to slice 1t with
the back of the knife, but when the
sharp edge pierced the finger which
he had pressed upon it in his frantic
had Numbered. " The accident, how
ever, was not observed by anyone in
the company, and Mr.. McCloud, who
was swearing inwardly and perspir-
ing outwardly very freely, was
encouraged to renew the attack.
Break leg off him"
was generally advised, while young
lady with a terra Gotta hat and an
amused smile, who sat next to the
young man with the knife, pleasantly
remarked that the carver looked more
cut up than the fowl This young
woman was one of the bridesmaids,
and should have been more seriously
inclined at such moment The adj
vice rendered was accepted, and the
now desperate man seized the goose
with both hands. Then began fear
full struggle for the mastery. In the
wrestling match which followed
neither seemed to have the advantage
for some moments. The wedding
guests awaited the issue of the contest
and something to eat-in breathless
expectancy. They did not feel very
hungry, for they were full of hope.
Their confidence in McCloud was not
misplaced, for in the third round the
goose was ''downed.n The leg came
off, and so did an event which was
wholly unexpected. The goose, in
parting with its limb slipped from the
grasp of its opponent and dashed it
self against bowl containing gravy.
The bowl was upset, and its contents