Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-04-19


stOried Spanish galleons which it first
annoyed and then demolished.
Butno one could tell how he managed to
live, so small was his income, so fine was
his linen and broadcloth, so ever fresh
were his hat, boots, gloves and the bit of
q bouquet he invariably wore in season
upon the lapel of his well-brushed coat.
| He drank with strict moderation, never
gambled, never raced or traded in horse
| flesh, bought and sold no mining shares.
and was such an irrevocable old bachelor
as delights the scores of necessitous
nephews and nieces which such an old
| bachelor is sure to have. CHANGING to
own a modest little red brick house in the
suburbs of the city, he made it his home
peculiarly homely old lady acting as his
! hOusekeeper. Who could be so genial, in
his way, as the General, when, that is, you
met him on the streets or in society? Yet
no visitor could ever induce his dOor-bell
to ring; or, if it did, no one ever heard it
within; certainly it was never answered.
! '"There is a frightful story running the
rounds" 1T was remarked in a knot of
the Generals lady friends one afternoon,
| ''abOut his domestic affairs. A prying
Mr.. Smith, who passes the Generals
! house from business every morning and
evening, has fallen into the habit of
| peeping in at the basement windows as
| he goes by. Sometimes he walks of
nights on the other side of the street, on
purpose to see what he can of what is
going on in the uppOr rooms. He says
that he distinctly saw his neigh Dor seated
on the side of his bed-just to think of
such a thing in such a Enthusiastically
darning his socks! What pity he has
| not got wlte!"
The ladies laughed, but Mrs. Van Dorm
| the lady who made the sad announce
ment, did not, and looked at her friends
with surprise, not to say rebuke. She
was widow, under forty, rich, plump,
very charitable. Had she been more
beautiful she too might have been as
| frivolous as those who could see only mat
| ter Of amusement in such a man as the
General being constrained to do such a
thing.
"Why don't yoas marry himr came
now in chorus upon her ears. She was
not so wealthy for nothing.
"There are some things" she said,
''upon which do not wish to be ioked, y
and soon after she left, the ladies open
ing eyes of wonder behind her; and oh,
the comparison of views which followed!
| General Featherstonhaugh had long
| been aware of the admiration in which he
was held by the lady-was frequent
visitor at her handsome house. Now, as
an orator, he was equally eloquent upon
any and every theme-politics, atiorism,
masonry, temperance, art; because, hay
| ing no definite conviction in regard to
any of them, an address from him Was of
the nature of purple haze, which could
! be Interpreted in any way you pleased.
That was how it came about when, in
Mrs. Van Dorn's parlOr after this, he
went off into that memorable disquisition
of his upon the general topic of woman,
! home, mutual affection. 1t never occurred
to him that the widow was his only
nearer, or that it was dangerous thing
for him to indulge Just then and there in
what he had laid down in his book on
! elocutien and in practice as the most
effective form of rhetoric, especially
when one has reached his peroration-the
placing himself in the center Of all he
| describes, though it be in centuries long
past, yet to come, wholly foreign to him
in every way. 1t was so now. Dwelling
at dangerous length upon the wretched-
ness of man apart from woman, he ex-
claimed at last, and without thought
beyond his elOquence, standing before
! her as she sat lost in admiration:
"And is it thus with me-ah, woful
me! Excluded, alas! from the one Eden
left US, the Eden of home"--hands
clasped together, eyes fixed upon empti-
ness-'I behold myself doomed, doomed"
deep AMI sorrowful bass-''to wander
abroad solitary, abandoned, alone, sigh
ing. Speed thee, wretch both hands
thrown out-''among the arid absences of
her whose smile illumines the world I!
Now, now, alas! unto whom can turn
in my unalleviated anguish? Is there a
WOman-W
OF course I cannot give the exact words.
What l do know is that, lost in his purely
rhetorical favors, his eyes moistened, his
tones thrilling himself as well as his
single nearer, his voice sinking in a
measured cadence as he proceeded, he
was suddenly interrupted by Mrs. Van
Dorm.
General" she said, standing before
him, her fearful eyes upon the carpet,
youhave saidenough-more than enough!
have" and much more. So smitten
was the orator in the midst of his lofty
rhetoric that for moment he lost his
voice; but his CHASTITY pallor and the first
recovery of his breath in the words:
"Great heavens! madam" might have
disenchanted her, but that a visitor com
ing in at the instant prevented it. And,
in a word, the General was too much of a
gentleman to undeceive the delighted
widow
They are married. The conundrum
thereafter among the Generals friends
| was twOfOld. VIII she after the
honeymoon, undeceive her husband, her
self undecived, and so rend away his ora
torical drapery? if so, what-good
heavens!-will become of him? Never!
General Adolphus Macpherson Feather
stonhaugh has such confirmation in his
wife that he is, if possible, more magnifi-
cent than before. The mask is upon soul
as we'll as upon body; and in whatever
world he may hereafter abide he must
forever and ever be as we have known
him here. But those who people that