The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-04-06
MY LOVE STORY.

"Are there no underwriters for human
there no insuranceY
had been tempted all day, tempted
by fate and the devil. All summer long
had been trying to clasp hands for q
life Journey with man | did not love;
a man noble of soul and born to the
purple, who set up high lineage against
my poor gifts of beauty and song. He
threw some loveinto the scales, too, butt,
God help me, had none to give in return.
| had -bartered erewhile my whole pos
sessions for few chances of dark,
dark eye, and my note had gone to pro-
test.
Could /, could Ip 1t kept following
me about with Hateful persistency, for
tonight was to give my answer to my
high-born lover.
tried to look things in the face, to
count the cost.
Money was a good thing; it insured
one warmth in winter and delicious cool
ness in summer, and prettiness and
daintiness, and the entrance into good
society. Yes, money was good thing,
and position and power, and houses
and lands So far, good; but my soul
hungered and thirsted for love COM
mensurate with my own, which this
man, who offered me purple and gold,
had it not in his power to give, or, let
me qualify that, had it not in his nature
to give.
The stars came out golden and soft,
and the fragrant summer dusk crept
around me where sat inhaling the scent
of the roses. Ambition and love tore
my heart by turn, and WEAKNESS, too,
put in a poor pitiful plea, for | was SO
tired, so tired
1t was brilliant future that Reginald
Dacre offered me, wherein toll and
WEAKNESS could never come. Thought
of the purple and fine linen; the lux
urious rest; the emoluments! Then nv
daily life passed in review before me
that OF companion to a naughty fine
lady, and a singer in fashionable
church, among fashionable saints and
sinners. l began to Groom over the old
satire:
I'm a'church, which is garnished with.mullion
and gable,
With altar and reredos, with gargoyle and
groin,
Inc peHlNGnUS dresses are SealSlxln and sable.
The odor of sanctity's eau de cologne.
Bat surely if Lucifer flying from Hades,
Could gaze Mt this crowd, with its paniers
and paints,
He would say, looking round at the lords and
the ladies',
20 whore is All Sinners, if this is All
SaintsP"
had entered upon this life from an
unloved and unloving home, home
doled out to me by the tardy Justice of
a grand-uncle who had robbed me of my
inheritance. | thought at first / might
find the sangreal somewhere in this
new country, which seemed so fair, but
alas! 1 had not even heard the swish
of wings.
| thought of it all-thc fever and the
fret; the petty jars; the miSunderstand-
ings; the pain OF incomprehension; the
umguerdoned toll; the tagging hours;
the awful pauses.
This or marriage; this or marriage.
1t seemed written like placard on
earth and sky. 1t seemed bound like
phylactery upon the brows of the peo-
pie rs they passed to and fro; and soon
the word marriage lost all its signifi-
canoe for me, as words do after oft re-
peating, Did it mean misery or happi-
ness, bliss or woe? This marriage
that rlng its changes through my brain
was it God-appointed? Did it mean
God blessing or His curse?
You know / did not love this man
who offered me rest from my labors.
He had not power to evoke one thrill at
his call. But then love is only one
reason why one should marry a man.
There might be love and plenty of
money, and yet one go hungry all one 5
life. | have known such things.
had tried to make my life straight
and fair. l had tried to keep clean
hands and pure heart; tried-God
who knows the secrets of all hearts.
knows this-to fight despair.
~ Long, green days
Worn bare of grass and sunshine; long calm
From which the silkep sleeps were fretted
BE witness for me-
We see through shadows all our life
long. We come into this world with
out our being given a choice as to our
advent and so out ofitin the same man
ner.
We have not been consulted as to
". VI ~ uS'Vli' NhOTe anu more bne prayer
OF Epictetus haunts me. LEAD me, Zeus
and Destiny, whithersoever am ap-
pointed to go; will follow without
wavering; even though l turn coward
and shrink, shall have to follow all
the samen
Should marry Mr.. Dacre9 Was he
a good parti? as the world said. Too
good for me, as my lady elegantly
phrased it.
I had been born into the world amid
fierce throes of mental anguish Ny
mothers heart was rent with the great
pain of my fathers sudden death
drowned off the Cornish coast. for | was
born at sea. She lived until / was ten
years old, life of sorrow, and poverty.
and remuneration. Then she died. leav-
ing me to the care of compassionate
world and my uncle. OF him have
already spoken.
My lte dragged on with elogged
wheels. was always at war with
my surroundings. Though too proud to
express it, | had never realized nv
ideal of womanhood, or in any way
grown up to my aspirations and dreams.
IF | had grown at all it had been
Through pain and repression-a fatal