The Brookhaven leader., 1883-05-31


to each otherP Too often is il not thisp
The mother is the drudge, and the
daughter selfishly enjoys what the
mother provides for her. In many
households-too many by far-the pict-
ture presented is that of the mother,
faded before her time, making slave
of herself in kitchen or sewing-room;
losing what interest she may have had
in literature, in society, in current
events beyond the merest round of
neighborhood gossip; treading, for the
most part, unthanked, a dreary and
endless round of toll, almost, if not
quite, menial. The reverse of the pict-
ture is the daughter, care-free, her
wants for food or clothing anticipated,
her freedom to enjoy herself made
ample, her opportunities for study or
for reading made secure, her time pref
ty much at her own disposal. On the
one side is the weary and worn mother
and she is not old yet by any means.
On the other side is the pretty, dainty,
fresh and blooming daughter. We
would not have the daughter one whit
less pretty and dainty and fresh and
blooming; but all this ought not to be
at the price of the mothers very life.
Yet we are sure, from our own knowl-
edge and the testimony of others, that
the picture is not overdrawn.
The relation, then, that too often ex-
lists is that the mother drudges and the
daughter enjoys. 1t does not take long
for. the daughter to become exacting.
In very short time it will not be
strange if she is looking down upon
her mother as fitted simply to drudge
for her comfort She grudges her
mother the place in the parlor. She
does not want the mothers presence
among her young companions.
Mother is such dowdy," she says,
"that can't bear to have her around. y"
And the mother too often meekly sub
mits to this social exile.
In many cases, if not in all, the
mother has originally herself to blame
for this. She began by being, not the
mother, with a mothers rights as
well as duties, but the slave of the little
baby-girl in the cradle. 1t gratified in
a way her maternal pride to lavishly
bedeck the little toddler. To have the
little girl "look pretty" was her am
bition, and consumed her effort. Once
started, where could she pause in this
course? AS the child grew older the
demands naturally became greater
The ultimate result is seen in the pict-
ure we have presented, and which we
know is true one But the picture is
very sad one.
Now, what ought to be the relation9
Surely, as different from what we have
la "
verse it, and make the daughter the
| drudge. We are not inclined to be pa
tient with idle and exacting mothers,
who are willing that all the bloom
should be brushed from fresh young
lives before they are fairly expanded,
There are some such yao:hers. But
surely there is safe middle ground.
Let the mother remember that she
has rights as well as duties. One of
these rights is to continue to enjoy So
ciety. Society made up of boys and
girls is slim and shallow enough. 1t
needs the ripeness of maturity to be
thoroughly enjoyable. The mother,
therefore, must not drudge her life away
till she can no more enjoy society. She
must make her daughter understand
that she has right to share in social
enioyments, and is not to be relegated
to kitchen or nursery while the young
miss receives her friends. But if she
expects to be a companion, she must be
companionable. The slave of the cook
| ing-stove or the needle can not be this.
1t is not the necessary work that we
condemn, but the superfluous-the work
that so many mothers do at so fearful a
cost. that their daughters may ''shine. "
Then it is pre-eminently necessary
that the mother should gain and keep
her daughters confidence. There is
much information in certain important
directions that the daughter ought to
receive only from her mother. The
mother ought to be the daughters con-
fidante, from whom she has no con-
cealments. What she can not "tell
mother" she ought not to be willing to
hear. Such companionship is good for
both parties. 1t helps the mother to
retain, to some extent, the freshness
and elasticity of girlhood. 1t gives to
the daughter the benefit of mature ex-
perience 1t would prevent the heart
| breaks which come into homes not a
few. 1t would forestall the evils into
which youthful heedlessness so often
runs. 1t is beautiful relation when
mother and daughter are each other S
| friends.
The daughters have their part to do.
They are to be helpful. If not natur-
ally inclined to this, it is their mothers
duty to put it upon them. They are
not simply to enjoy the benefits of 9th
ers' labors. They are to do their part
in the economy of the home, to make
the home delightful. They can hardly
begin too early. They ought to learn
at the earliest practicable moment to do
many things for themselves, and to rem
der little services to others. The mis-
take in many homes is that the children
are too much waited upon. Hence they
become selfish and exacting. The
daughter, however, that makes up her
mind that she will do every reasonable
thing that lies in her power to ''help
mother" will find her lot comfortable
and happy.
All, mothers and daughters, how
much you can do to mar or make each
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