davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
Colorado Fables.

One cold November Night Preco-
cio'.s yomg Turkey said to His mother:
Mother, Why were we Endowed by
;; are with Heads?" "Our heads, my
r,i'd, " replied the Mother, "were given
rs ~ an All Wise providence as our
rt:,qfs of reason" "That may all BE
Ger True" said the Precocious Turk
=. =, 'but at this Season of the Year T
cal't Help telling 1 would Be mere
t.l&;cfal 10 Providence if She had at
tie Sane time Endowed us With Necks
less Sensitive to the Heads,aan's
intellect"
y Dog and his Tail oncs had Mis-
understanding as to Which OF the Two
should Wag the Other, and in the DIFF
';,.nlty which Ensued the Dog got very
J.,lly Shaken up Things have Come
to Pretty pass" quoth the Dog, "that I
sho1lld he Governed by my Tail" at
NIL be Well for you," said the Tail, ITO
remember in the Future that, While my
Interests are identical with yours, hold
lie Balance Of Power"
\ mutilated Quarter once Found HIM
salf Lying upon contribution Plate
x lciildIhEt " LIS ANSISSs11OOI Will SOilC
Degree Of Sadness: "I must have fallen
ye,y low in the Social Scale, indeed, foi.
il y rs only last Night that I was Re-
fused in Exchange for five White
Chips" "Do not Grieve," said his
NeigAbor, "for the Deacon We are APP
preaching would give fully Eighty per
cent of your Face value if he Only had
One of your Kind to Pat on the Plate
beside u.s."
\ Falling out once Occurred between
tie Stomach and the Other Members Of
the Body, whereupon and Illness of all
E,nsued. "See now," said the Other
Members, "what a Blamed Fool YOU
re, for Instead of being the Healthy,
Comfortable stomach you once We're,
Won are Now reduced to the Mortifica-
ton Of Keeping Cases for a Drug
Store"
\ fond Mother, beholding her Child
eating a Quantity of Sugar Plums, be-
Kan for to Curse and to Swear. and
warned him he Would have the
Stomach Ache unless he Shared his
5weetmeats with his Little Sister. "No
no, dear Mother" he Sagely replied, a
~oHll Willingly Share the Tatfy Will
lister, we're it not for the Fear of also
,,..aring the stomach ache with her
Say no More, but let me Suffer alone.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09

Let rs 'Cw tan q critical eve upon
the MAZE costume. One OF the most
obyious tiiuC s. ab0ut mans everyday
dreSs IS it, aSli2e.a. ! say his everyday
costume, because, when On pleasure he
Is bert, he may wear pretty much what
he likes; and, as . loa5ter Of fact, when
foa5ball:a%, boating, bicycling, cricket
iilr. w0i1i~ g, on otherwise enjoying
himself, lie does adCTt dress which is
lera sensible ana picturesque. 1t is
OILY when lie wishes TO make az i'm
precision, when lie is o- business. or
pavlGg q call, or going to worship, or
performing some otIer conventionality,
t,laT he considers it absolutely neces-
"ar. to be particularly mar tistic and
uncomfortable. Our Sunday best, our
go-to-meatirg clothes. are those most
open to ritlicdle, unless it may be our
evening dress. Contemplate for mo-
ineEt . man on his way to worship He
: a.walkiDg illJis .rarion OF the doctrine
& evolution. We're his hat, his coat, or
LIS trc1se2s created? 80, they were
evolved. His ha5-i% tophat = his
chiInaay-top, his stoNe-p;pe-is bat the
-c,7c;ss upon which as ancestors were
wont to display ribbons and knots, and
os'.o" gauds. In itself it is both ugly
&. Z uncomfortable. In winter it proves
=. vast roof upon which rain and snow
may collect IN orcer to be better dis
charged upon the shrinking form be-
meath, CT otherwise it has to be pro-
tected 10y an expensive umbrella. We
irst buy an expensive hat to protect q
too often worthless head, and then
we bay an umbrella TO protect the hat.
Ii summer it becomes less a roof than
ga even. IN which the head is slowly
baked. Whether off or on, it is an en-
cumi;rance :, len Off, the question is
What 70 10 with It; when on, the ques-
ton = how 10 do without it. And yet
there IS nothing so absolutely a symbol
OF civilization as the top-hat-a fact
which furnishes some food for refec-
ton to the philosopher
The coat has several of what, I be-
ieve, are called "rudimentary organs. i"
Just as IN the human skeleton, the few
useless end bOncs Of the spine are held
by sc-enc1 t. peose th&1 man once had
{ t.3i, so The Buttons ri tie back of a
mans coat have iaeir tale. Few people
know why they iavariabiy appear. I
once asked ionable tsiior what
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
Life in Brazil.

The dwellings are universally made
of saplings or canes crossed and plas-
tered with mud. The floors and win
dows are never washed. Brooms-u
only in extreme instances-ar made Of
sapling tied round with a few green
branches. Scrubbing brushes, mops,
busters and whitewash, paint and var
nish are unknown. The windows have
no. sash weights, but are held up, when
open, with nail or piece Of iron Of
some sort. The doors are made of heavy
wood. hacked out with AIDES and Sc
cured by locks of medieval pattern, haV-
ing keys as ponderous as that of the
bastile at Mount Vernon; the floors
have no covering. The bath-tub is
tin basin; the towel is made of sheet
ing; soap IS a luxury. Portugal is
hundred steps behind America; Brazil
is hundred steps behind Portugal; it
is but step IN advance of Africa.
Everybody knows how to ride a horse
here; but nobody can push saw or
drive a plane Such thing as board
sawed true" is unknown. There are
numerous little saw-mills throughoutthe
country where boards are sawn by
means of water power; but the boards
are never of equal thickness through
out, ranging from half an inch to two
inches. Nor are they Of equal width,
varying from six inches to eighteen.
Nor are the edges cut straight, nor are
they ever planned or smoothed by ma
chinery. Consequently all the wood
work about the house is of the most
wretched description, and painting,
withdrawing, Oh cleaning is almost i'm
practicable. I nave seen few sewing
machines throughout the country. They
are all moved by hand. have seen
three pianos in the course of 300 miles
of travel. They were all cracked. l
have seen houses that possessed illumi-
mating lamps. They were so few that
they we're distinguished from the rest.
People go about at night through the
dark streets with lighted candle in
hand. A piece of paper incloses the
candle to keep of the wind. d., Ia
| S091 Fr0nf.jscO EHyO1lifle
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
Savage and Civilized Shaving.

ScllooI-boys of an earlier generation
nften recited (and laughed over DR..
'5olcott's description of poor Hodge
.tying himself; how
- vain to chase his beard and bring the
gr2ces,
he cut and dug and whined and stamped and
>WOre.
Brought blood, and danced-and made wry
faces"
The interval between the barbarous
(witbout any pun and civilized shaving
is long one, but the history of beard
cutting as an art shows some sore exam
pies of bungling, good deal later then
The old Scythians:
Tie idea that shaving is a duty is
older than the invention of steel or even
of bronze razors. Nothing is more re-
markable in savage life than the resolu-
of the braves, who shave with she'll OF
with broken piece of glass left by
mariners.
! warrior will throw himself upon
the ground, and while one friend holds
l,i, arms and prevents him from strug-
cling, another will scrape his chin with
the she'll or broken bottle, till he rises
bleeding bat beardless.
Macaulav mu5t have shaved almost
as badly with the razor of modern life
GnG ~hcR he went 70 a barber. AID af
ter an easy shave, asked what he owed
tie feilow. afraid OF charging too little
replied,
Just what you generally give th'
man that shaves YOU, sir"
81 generally give him two cuts o.
each cheek" said the historian.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
Monlan,s Whfn,s.

The Empress Josephine had 600, 200
francs for her personal expenses, but
this sum was not sufficient, and her
debts increased to an appalling degree.
Notwithstanding the position of her
husband, she could never submit to
either order or etiquette in her private
life. She rose at 9 o'clock. Her toilet
consumed much time, and she lavished
unwearied efforts on the preservation
and establishment of her person. She
changed her linen three times q day,
and never wore any stockings that were
not new. Huge baskets were brought
to her containing different dresses,
shawls and hats. From these she
selected her costume for the day. She
possessed between 300 and 400 shawls,
and always wore one in the morning,
which she draped about her shoulders
with unequaled grace. She purchased
all that were brought to her, no matter
at what price. The evening toilet was
rs careful as that OF the morning; then
she appeared with flowers, pearls or
precious stones in her hair. The smallest
assembly was always an occasion for her
to order new costume, in spite of the
boards of dresses in the various palaces.
Bonaparte was irritated by these ex-
penditures he would fly intoa passion,
and his wife would weep and promise to
be more prudent, after which she would
go or in the same way. 1t is almost In.
credible that this passion for dress
should never have exhausted itself
After the divorce she arrayed hersel
with the same care, even when she saw
no one. She died covered with ribbons
and pale rose-colored satin.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
Athletics at Harvard,

It is agreed OF al hands that the Il
creased attention given to physical eE
ercise ard athletic sports within the
past twenty-five years has been, On the
whole, OF great advantage to TIE uni
versit.7; that the average physique Of
the mass of students has been eusihiy
improved, tie Discipline Of the coll ge
made easier and mere effective, tie
work OF many jealous students heen
done with greater safety, AID TIE TX
and s:cllly youth into one wel-fc;ned,
robust and healthy. It is also g. eed
that athletic competitions. tl>onrla ""e-
essary to the maintenance OF 2 ,noner
interest il TIE general subject may
easily rra into excess. and on tha- &
count need to he kept within i:S-
Greet limits: and that the whoie - i
of college sports aud contests should 1e
that Of amateurs WHO are amusing tleln-
selves, and net that of professional
PLAYERS, who are earning 4 living AID
seeking a reputation for its pecuniary
value.-PreSUIeit Eliot.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
Thomas Paine.

Thomas Paine, the author eff the
cage Of Reason" rights of Man. and
other works Of a political or anti Christ
ian character, was born at Thetford.
England, JAN %, 1877. His father was
an obscure Quaker, who was united in
marriage to lady of the Church of
England. The religious discussions of
his parents did not tend to develop
Paines religious nature All Of his
schooling he received before he was b.
at which age he was set at stay-making.
For three years he continued at his
trade at home, and then he went to
London. After remaining there few
weeks he went to Dover. He yielded to
a rowing disposition, and soon gave up
his trade for the adventurous life of q
privateer In 1853 he married Mary
Lambert and settled at Sandwich. 4
few years later he obtained situation
in an internal-revenue Office; but was
several times discharged for bad con-
duct In the meantime his wife hal
died, end he had married Miss Olive.
In IVA he came to Philadelphia, sep
arating from his wife the same year.
The cause of this separation has never
been known. Neither, afterward, would
allow the others name to be mentioned
with reproach in his or her presence
His wife was a. Christian lady, and per-
haps the separation was due to their
difference of opinion on religious sub
iects. When in Philadelphia, Paine
| contributed to various magazines, advo-
eating national independence, indi-
vidual liberty and infdelity. In 1871,
he was sent to France with Col. Lau-
rens to obtain money to replenish the
empty American treasury. HewGs sue
cessful in the undertaking, but was SO
pleased with France that in 1877 he re-
moved his residence to that country.
He was received with great favor, both
on account &c his advocacy Of larger po-
litical liberty, and because Of his infidel
doctrines, France having become per
meated with Voltaireism. He became
a. citizen of France, and was after g
time elected to seat in the French As
sembly. During the terrible revolution
which so convulsed tue French natiol
in the last decade of the eighteenth
century Paine was imprisoned as al En-
glish-born foreigner. In vain he APP
pealed for relief to Washington as 81
American citizen, he having disclaime(
his allegiance to the United States
Finally, in 1902, he was released an(
returned to this country, where he con
tinued to reside until his death, in 1900
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
Shattered Love.
"Give me the rim o. "

"Give me the ring"
Lurline McCaffery stood in an oriel
window with the sunlight beaming in
warm, golden waves above her sEghr
form, and at her right, his hanl
outstretched in eager expectancy.
while half imperious, halt
pleading look shot from his
big brown eyes, was Marmaduka
Short The girl had been standing
there nearly thirty seconds without
speaking, tic Eight streaming IN Ui5on
the ,cfr wayta Of hair, the fathomtess
ewes, ard tie calm sweet mouth. It
was no, 2 yo;ithful face; the bloom and
flush had faded long ago, but it was SO
grand end womanlY, there was such an
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS look upon
it, that in comparison mere grlish
prettiness lost iInmeasurabiy.
st Tins moment Pansv Perkins on
tered the room. She had twisted an
azule-hued scarf around her shoulders,
and her yellow hair fell about her like
a c,oud Throwing kiss to Luriine,
whose silence sic did not al all under
stard, PaIsy fitted away to the piano
at tLe other end OF the room and began
TO lower rents lii the vicinity. Snatches
Of the soft. n,urmuroTls music filed tie
air, a, 4 male The place seem strangely
al The twilight was approaching,
al,,l as t;e dirk shadows fell the
music sobbed and s5lTged through the
room. L,i-iine listened intently, and
Eii;.,'lyl lie 'role:
Goa -eaily wish to break our en-
| gagelneat tl.en?" she asked
i.;fnadnle spoke 70 word. but the
inclination of lis head showed that the
girl had not guessed alniss.
~And you viii marry Pansy?"
Again the head was bowed, and the
dinnled chin hit his shirt front.
Then 1 give you the ring Will
pleasure, said the girl; = could wisl
for no sweetcr revenge"
What do you mean?" asks the man
BIS face pallid with an undoubted fear
4 mean, she says, her every wore
falling upon his tinted ear as fall thC
earth-cIods upon coffin, @that ii al
dition to playing the piano she some
times sings. Chicago Tribune.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
BacOnian Philosophy.

Discretion in speech is more than elo-
quence.
That is half granted which IS denied
graciously.
Without goodnature man is but a
better kind OF vermii.
New things, like strangers, are more
admired and less favored.
He that studieth revenge keepeth his
own wounds green.
Great riches have sold more men than
ever they have bought out.
The best part of beauty is shat which
a picture cannot express.
They that reverence too much Old
times are but scorn to the new.
He who builds fair house upon an
Ill seat, commits himself to prison.
Base natures, if they find themselves
once suspected, will never be true.
You had better take for business a mar
somewhat absurd, than over formal.
Excusations, cessions, modesty itsel-
well governed, are bat marks of osten
to..on.
The master of superstition is the PEG
pie And in all superstition, wise meE
follow fools.
Fame is like river, that beareth Vi
things light and swollen. and drown;
things weighty and solid.
If man look sharp and attentivei,
he shall see fortune; for, though she i
blind, she IS not invisible.
He that defers his charity till he i
dead Is, if a man weighs it rightly
rather liberal Of another mans than G
his own.
To desire in discourse to hold all al
glrments is ridiculous, wanting tru
Judgment; for in al things no man cal
be exquisite.
The best governments are alway
subject to be like the fairest crystals
when every icicle or grain is seer
which in foUler stone IS never pei
ceived.
IS in nature things move more vic
lently TO their place and calmly in thei
place, so virtue in ambition IS violent
fh authority, settled and calm.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
Fogyoxvers OF Eseauty,

It is a curious and striking fact, of
which Intelligent men take notice with
mixture of envy and jealousy, that
women Of high culture and endowments
so readily accept the attentions of fash
ionable boobies. once asked a charm
ing miss, who was herself no exception
to the general rule, the meaning OF
this, when she replied that ladies were
fond Of receiving attentions, and SO
long as they got them they were not so
particular as to the source they came
from. Beside" said she, "however
excellent men of sense are as husbands,
they make very Indifferent beaux they
ure 81 dreadfully in earnest In what they
say o. do, and overpower you so with
their sense, that it is positive relief to
turn to one of these more amusing
trifers.' "Well," said [, a little net
tied by this explanation, eff sense IS
SO little appreciated, teach me to talk
nonsense, that I may make myself more
agreeable to you" "Oh," said she,
you are doing that very well already.
But seriously" added she. "the great
est objection TO sensible men, next to
their being so few in number, is that
they prefer to be the slaves of their OWL
whims rather than of ours. A man of
sense enthroues one among us as the
queen of his affections, and restricts his
attentions TO her alone, while every one
of those 'dawdlers, as you call them, is
the loyal subject of at least dozen,
who, however, never permit him to ap.
proach their throne but to bow before
it, and to bear away their commands. >
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
4 Canadian Joke.

at the Assize Court Mr.. Osler, Q. c.,
was cross examining witness--a c!er-
gyman--in 4 case where hor~r lad
stepped into hole III a road AMI :! rown
it's rider The witness said ~ col;d
not see a well or hole IL the yrcand
whcn twenty feet away from l.
This led Mr. Osler t. rrn'ai-'5: You
are looking too much away trcsi' the
earth to make L good witness IL TINS
case"
1T is better to look that way" re.
piled the clergyman.
Not when you are walking on holy
road" said Mr.. Osler, with a smile
Toronto Mail
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
an IDIOT,

An idiot is man who approaches a
Georgia mule from the rear without
notifying and pacifyinS the front end
first The wise man is he who never
goes near the mule at all, Int is simply
4 locker on in Vienna while the mule IS
making gestures with his hind feet.
This statement is true in moral as we'll
as in natural history.-GfiGi11 (GaD
Ners.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
A T.irit-f.euse Keepers Life.

The keepers Of the lighthouses lead,
rs rule, very Uonotonous lives. Their
duties are to see shat tie lights are
carefully trimmed and cleaned every
day. aid to repeat this operation as
many times during the day as the case
NAV require. In stormy weather the
lights must be trimmed more frequent
" than in fne weather. Some of the
smaller lights have but one keeper
each. Ee is expected to SIT UP til II
o'clock ct night, il which ease, il the
weather Is coed aaJ the light is working
properly, he i allowed 30 lie d0~n for
three or fof5r hours rest. After exam
in;ng The l:5..t at shout 3 O'Clock II the
morning he must 5e ~, and eXtiNguish
tiin ;;giit. Alto o'clacil he is expected
to begin cleaning I'D The i,Sht and put
ting things in orier for the ensuing
night IN some cf the large Light
horses four koe, ers are employed.
We there is more than ore keeper
the 1acH divide into watches, ADD at
least ooe OK them IS aiways or dpty
during the night When the light
house Is or some reef. sJlrrOuCdcd by
deep water, the lonely keepers a-e Oft
eli worried with a fame that the fouH-
dations are er1,nlblirG beneath them.
This is more apt to he the case during
the prevalence OF q leavy storm, when
the fgliors gusts Of wind make the tow
er seem to rock on its foundations
The men can occasionally obtain q few
days, leave of absence. The keepers are
paid in proportion TO the Importance OF
their lights and the amount Of labor re
qured. Their wages range from -:
per month upward, and they are @lsi
! sunnled with food.-Ne1c ],Ork. Times
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09
FIVE CENTS ALINE
SIXTH W.4RD W1NTs.

"a ANTED-Man of enterprise to establish
W Livery stable, between Bridge and Bluff,
on Dakota avenue The public want It and
there's money IN it.
WANTED-The city to establish an engine
house for the benefit of the ward in case OF ire.
WANTED city to grade Dakota avenue
to thefull width, filing the crossings and pro
yiding approaches to the street.
. WANTED-The city to commence work on
the Levee at once. They have our money arl
the ward needs the improvement.
WANTED-Ihe Board of Health to see the
cess pools and small ponds of stagnant water
filed up. Health and life demand It. The
Board should compel property owners 70 do
this, or cause it be aonea at the cost of the city.
In behalf OF the Sixth ward.
e. LANGEYIN.
ST. Paul, april 7, 1885. 97*
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-09


CTATE OF MINNESOTA, COUNTY OF RAMSEY,
S-ss. IN Probate Court, General Term, April
ID, 1898.
In the matter of the estate of Christian FRANKIE,
deceased:
on reading and filing the petition of Joseph
Bung, of said COUNT! representing, among other
things, that Christian FRANKIE late of said county
of Ramsey on the 10Th day OF March, A. D. 1888 at
said county, died intestae, and being nhaCitant
of hiscounty at the time of his death, leavinggoods
chattelS, and estate within this county. and that
the said petitioner is the father-in-law of said de-
ceased and praying that administration Of said
tate be to Charles B. Hess or some other suitable
person granted;
1t is ordered, That said petition re heard before
the judge of this court, on Thursday the 10Th day
of April A. D. 1888. at ten O'Clock a. n at the pro
bate Office in said county.
Ordered further. That notice thereof be given TO
the heirs OF said deceased, and to all persons in
terested, by publishing a copy of this order Tor
three successive weeks prior TO said day of hearing
in the Daily GuoBT. newspaper printed and pub
hshel at Saint Paul, III said county.
BY the Court, WIN. B. MCGRORTY.
Attest: Judge of Probate.
Prank Robert. Jr., Clerk.
April S-tues-4w