Milford chronicle., 1883-08-10
WIT AND WISDOM.

The color hne-ln summers lust az
the top Of the shirt collar.
ONE of the best stops for hand
organ is pewter dime.
No MATTER how bad a temper one may
have he should never lose it.
THERE are two sides to the liquor
drinking question, and it is best to keep
the liquor on the outside.
The general understanding is that a
patient is not out of danger until the
doctor has been discharged.
The most an Arctic explorer can do
now is to follow in the tracks Of those
who went before him, freeze his feet and
write book
IT is always a good thing to be on
friendly terms with your physician, but
a very bad thing when he is frequent in
his calls on You.
A New YORK plumber has married
milliner. Everything tends to CONSOLE
dation and monopoly these days
! LowcH citizen.
/ GENTLE" asks the teacher, (which
animal attaches himself the most to
man ?" Emile, after some reflection
''The leech, sir !"
"THE difference, said Twistem, as he
thumped his glass-on the bar, between
this glass and a locust is simply that one
is beer mug and the others mere
bug"
IT was the young tailor who said, re-
ferring to a rival for the affections Of a
young lady, "that he thought he knew
enough to cut him out. "-,SomerUille
Journal
CRUsHED banana is a new color. fit
is the color of the stars a man sees after
he has accidentally crushed banana
with his feet the tint must be very bril-
liant.
THERE was young man named DeL6,
Who played the bass horn in the b&i
He blew such a blast,
That as he went past,
He blew all the fruit Oh stN.
They thought they heard burglars
in the house last week, and in going
down stairs to investigate, Bibbs said to
his wife: 'You go first; it's mean man
that would shoot a woman"
A BosroN schoolgirl cannot be made
to speak of overalls. She prefers to call
them super-omnes. Now let some of
those wild Western sheets again sneer at
our culture, if they dare. Boston Tran
script
LovFEu1ow said, ''In this world a man
must be either anvil or hammer" Long
,ellow was wrong, however. Lots of
5aen are neither the active hammer nor
he sturdy anvil. They are nothing but
bellows.
THE young man who suffers from the
leat Just now should slight his best girl
md sneak off to the picnic with some
,ther girl. The next evening, if he goes
round to see the best girl, he will find
t very cool, if not comfortable.-Loa0e
79tisen.
THIS is the season Of the year when
he theatrical manager hires a man with
pot Of paint to putter around his thea
re for a few days, and on the strength
{ such proceedings will next month an
ounce the opening Of his house ''entire-
? reftted."
GENERAL BEAUREaARD says he OBJ
srves with grief ga gradual decline in
40 negro race All, yes; they decline
, invest in the Louisiana lottery. Per-
APPS the General may have observed
milar decline in the Post-ofice Depart
Hm0keye.
WHILE party Of Philadelphia pohtic-
ms were fishing the boat upset and they
Il overheard amid a school Of sharks.
) the sharks fed it shows what over
helming strength there is in the
.eaths of Philadelphia politicians
etrou F5ee Press.
The absence of telegraph operators
calls the story of the old darkey who,
airing the instrument suddenly begin
click while the operator was away,
,pped up to it, and, putting his mouth
,se to it, shouted with all his power Of
lg = De oppahratah isn't h 'yar
In Newport boudoir: "Oh he is
,h charming gentleman. And he
not make his money in vulgar trade,
her. No, indeed He owns bank;
I have heard people who knew him
ak Of it. It is in Western city
ned Faro. philadelphia Times.
'WELn," remarked a woman in
W England village, talking to her
nmer boarders about a neighbor,
les the greatest natural liar ever
/, and I've often Thought if she'd only
first-class education in her youth
atanauthor she made before this.
AND the gentleman who catches the
n said Annabel why does he weee
nask?" And Annabel looked upon
cousin Ned's face with becoming
Ie when he promptly answered
hat is to protect his face, Bel; an
; mug wouldn't harmonize with
pitcher, yoh know. Boston Tram
pt
WHAr be them 2" said manr
ping Is front Of fruit store and
ting to bunch Of bananas. Hav-
earned he bought plump redskin,
without stopping to peel it, bit off