Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-12-10
BRIGHT BITS.

THE limbs of the law are suited with
breaches of promise.
NEWS comes from Maine that the beaver
hasn't built his house yet over on Megkwaka-
GamOcsis. IT'S well.-BOstOR Commercial But-
fsfia.
AN exchange speaks of d man who ''lies in a
critical condition" Most everybody will lie
when they get into tight 1X.-Bur1ingtoR
Free Press.
THERE are more John O'Briens than John
Smiths in Boston. The Irish generally make
out TO run things every place except in Ire
land.-OH city Btissdrd.
4 PLYMOUTH man found winged wild
goose in his door yard a few days before
Thanksgiving. That was a wild goose chase
that amounted to something.
\ YOUNG man out in Waupun, Wis. organ
lied an accordion corps. At last accounts he
was still half a mile ahead Of the inhabitants.
but things looked quite encouraging, as he
was very much out of -PhilddelDhiG
CAL.
\ PEDESTRIAN contest would seem more APP
pirate for raising funds fsr the BarthOld
statue pedestal. As it Is, the New York poo
pie will 90 as they please, chipping in the
shekels.
CHEEKY passenger: "Any fear o. my dis
turbing the magnetic currents, Captain, by
going near the compass Captain: "Oh,
no, sir. Brass has no effect on it whatever,
sir."-PuHch.
has its uses. A prominent physician remarks
that he never attends smallpox patient
without putting tobacco in his mouth as pro-
lection against catching the disease. Suppose
the tobacco is so much worse than the disease
that it bluffs it of.
Il HAVE a strong following" remarked the
burglar. as he shot down the alley just ahead
of a detective, two policemen, constable
and a dozen stray citizens, land think if
eau get out of town ahead of my ticket Pm all
right in the country" And so he was, for he
ran into a barbed wire fence at the corpora
ton limit and they counted him in.-BuTEing-
ton Halckeye.
GEO. q. CANNON. the Mormon leader de-
clares that dancing is immoral and exerts a
bad influence. How much better this world
would be, to be sure, If orr young men were
TO fOreswear the immoral practice OF dane
ing and embrace Mormonism In Its stead
though we should think that dozen wives
apiece would make 'em dance around more
than ever.-NoTriSt0tch Herald.
"IF you viii let me take your stick of candy
I'll show you how | can swallow it and make
it come out of my ear" The candy was de-
livered; The young magician deliberately ate
il. Then for a space of two minutes he threw
himself into violent cOntOrtions. The candy
failing to appear. he said to the eXpectant
spectator, with an air of great disappOint-
ment II believe | have forgotten the rest of
it.'-Peck's Sun.
A Boston restaurateur has started on the
road to fortune by introducing prize hash.
Every plate contains u pilIc from halrpln
to a set of diamond studs. A customer the
other day found set OF lady's bangs in his
hash Look here" he cried to the waiter,
what do you call this?" 'That, sir" re
piled the waiter, critically examining the
lind, s'that's a set of lady's bangs-ha! ha!
good joke-lady's bangs gwen 'em to the
wrong customer. Try another plate, sir?
Perhaps find something suitable. "-Somer-
ellie Journal.
PRESENCE CT MIND!' said Mr.. Gowitt,
''why, my fathers got more presence of mind
than any man in the city. The other night we
met at the restaurant. Peter, the head waiter,
didn't know that we were relatives, and so
tack no precautions TO avoid it. | was with
a ballet girl; the guv'nOr was with chorus
girl Did he give away our relationship? Not
much He simply told his lady friend that |
was an acquaintance, and then he came and
borrowed all the money / had, save SIS, so
that would not spend too much. He's keen
one, the guv'nor is!'
ssONE meets such peculiar people in society
nowadays" remarked Mrs. Upperten. NOW