davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08
A .'sndsrsoct At Tombstone.
Middlctown Transcript.

A few days ago flash Young man
from an Eastern college arrived at
Tombstone, Ariz., and registered his
name at the principal hotel. A So
cially inclined person, in blue shirt
and wide trimmed hat, who CHANGED
to be in the Office, good naturally
answered every question and volun-
teered vast amount of interesting
information about Arizona in gener-
al and Tombstone in particular.
Do you see them hills? asked the
Tombstoner, pointing through one of
tle Office windows. Well, them hills
is chock full of pay dirt.
The young man from the East
looked shocked.
My dear sir, he said proudly, but
kindly, you should say those hills are
not them hills is.
The Tombstoner was silent for
moment. He looked the young man
from the East critically over as if he
was estimating the size of coffin he
would wear. Then drawing out an
ivory stocked seven-shooter of elabo-
rate style and finish, he said in soft.
mild, musical tone of voice that
sounded like wildwood brook cours-
ing o'erits pebble bed, My gentle, un-
sailed tenderfoot from the land of the
rising sun, this here's pint that you
and me disagrees on, and we might
as well have it settled right now. |
haven't looked in a grammar recent
ly, but I'm going to stand to that
opinion while I've a shot left. I'll
give you just three minutes to think
calmly over the subject, for you prob
ably spoke in haste the first time, and
then I'll hear your decision"
The young man from the East looked
down the delicately chased barrel of
his revolver into the placid eye of
the Tombstoner, and began TO feel
that many points in grammar are I'M
certain, and liable to grow more so.
Phen he thought of the coroner's in
quest, and of the verdict, "Came to
his death by standing in front of Col
orado Toms seven shooter" and of
the long pine box going East by ex-
press, with $50 charges on it and be-
fore half the three minutes was gone
he was ready to acknowledge his err
ror- Since he had thought it over
calmly, he said, he believed that them
hills u.s. is right. He had spoken on
the spur of the moment, he added,
and begged thousand pardons for
his presumptuous effort to substitute
bid grammar for good.
The Tombstoncr forgave him free
ly, and, grasping his hand, said:
81 know'd you'd say You was
wrong after you thought moment.
l admire man who gives right in
without arguing when he know he's
wrong. Come along and irrigate,
and they irrigated.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08

A dnde went into New York pho
tographer's, the other day, to get his
picture taken sin character" He APP
peared in party-colored garments of
silk, with lilac silk stockings. The
artist "posed'' him and glancing down
to his feet exclaimed: ''Bless my soul !!
do You want me to take these patent
leather bottines "Ohw said the
dude, "no, not all. Wait a moment;
yer know"-and taking out two pink
rosettes from his pocket the dude fas-
tened them in the insteps of his bot
tines and exclaimed: "There you are
yer know!" "May I ask what you
represent" said the puzzled photo
grapher. "Ah!Tm Folly, don't-cher-
know?" was the reply. "But," SAID
the photographer, "Folly is woman.
Yes, of course, of course; but I'm a
male Folly, dont-cher-know? ?"
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08


A Bridal couple boarded train at
Kemptville the other day. The groom
was strapping fellow,and squeezed
the bride into seat next the window
Some of the train hands who were
posted put the newsboy up to bring
ing in box of baby rattles and Of
fering the embarrassed party their
choice for 5 cents. All sorts of excus-
es were offered by the man as rea-
sons for not buying it. Finally he
made a clean breast of the situation
with, See here, young fellow, I've on
ly been married u little over % min
utes. Give us rest. We don't want
to set up house keeping right here in
the car.-Keep your tinware and I'll
be along next year. If the returns
are satisfactory, I'll buy your hull
caboodle.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08
CLUB LIST.
EXCHANGE sc1NTIL1ATIoNs.

The farewell banquet to be given
Mrs. Langtry by club of young New
York swells will be much adieu about
MISUNDERSTANDING News.
An editor asked a contributor to
send him an article without any fun
in it. The contributor mailed him an
unpaid tailor's bill for $l50.-Sunday
Argus.
'The Cdf' is the name of daily
paper that has just been started at
Hope, Arkansaw. The Cat is nee
essarily an evening publication, and in
cultivating the news will doubtless
be poetic.-Arkansaw Traveller.
One CT a city band of serenaders left
the seat of his pantaloons in charge Of
a faithful Watchdog, and the next
mornings paper contained full ac-
count of the tragedy under the head
Of current events.-Glasgow Times.
Hon. John Young Brown fired
three shots at a butcher, in Henderson,
after missing his head with raw
steak. If he really wanted to injure
the butcher, he should have kept on
firing beefsteak at him.-Owensboro
Post.
The Treasury Department has in
formation that a lot Of vine cuttings
imported into New York from China
are infected with phylloxera. This
is enough. We can stand a good
many things, but the line must be
drawn at ENTHUSIASTICALLY Ar
gns.
The punster can now 60 to work.
The wife of Michael Barrett of Louis
willie, Saturday gave birth to triplets
the second occurrence of the kind to
happen in the metropolis the present
year. Michael Barrel, dear para
graphers, as Mrs. b. did the triplets,
SO you can begin the probing.-Padu-
cab News.
The editor of the Hawesville Demo-
crat says Proctor Knott's Duluth
speech is as threadbare as the seat of
our brooches. And yet there is that
in both the speech and the seat of our
brooches which, were it in the head
Of the editor of The Democrat, would
greatly enrich the columns of his pa.
per.-Breckenridge News.
An Arkansaw boy, writing from 6
college in reply to his fathers letter
said: $50 you think that am vast
ing my time in writing little stories
for the local papers here, and in illus
tration, cite DR.. Johnson who say
that the man who writes for an,
thing else than money is a fool. l shall
act upon Dr.. Johnson's suggestion
and write for money. Send me fit!
dollars.-Arkansaw Traveller.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08

Who marries for love take a wife /;
who marries for fortune takes a mis-
tress; who marries for fortune takes
lady. You're loved by your wife, re-
garded by your mistress tolerated by
your lady. You have wife for your
self, mistress for your house and
friends, lady for the world and soci-
ETY.. Your wife will agree with YOU,
your mistress win rule you, your lady
will manage you. Your wife will
take care of your household, your
mistress of your house, your lady of
appearances. If you are sick your
wife will nurse you, your mistress
will visit you, your lady will inquire
after your health. You take walk
with your wife, a ride with your mis-
tress, and go to party with your
lady. Your wife will share your
grief, your mistress your money, your
lady your debts. Ifyou are dead your
wife viii weep, your mistress lament,
aud your lady wear mourning.
Which viii You havc2-Christian
Observer,
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08

A man seldom knows when he is
best situated. In Colorado, few
months since, two Kentucky boys
owned half interest in mining
prospect which gave promise of a
rich yield. A man from Michigan
came along and offered them 100000
for the claim. They laughed over their
good luck and took him up so quick
that the buyer was actually startled.
He went to work, however, and now
it is his turn to laugh, for the Silent
Friend Mine shows 81 100000 of ore
in sight alone. The most remarkable
discovery is cave of immense size,
which the Michigander found at q
depth of 275 feet. Its top, sides and
bottom are covered with ore, thous
and tons or more lying in loose part
at the bottom of the cavern.The Ken.
lucky lads are now sick, as we'll they
might be, while the chap from Mich
gan is feeling too good to even laugh
Argus.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08

Appropriate name for bulldog
Agrippa.
The mcdal-some scholar doesn't
take the prize.
A corset is nothing more or less
than a waist-basket.
The best fire escape-not to be
around when the fire occurs.
y young man whose girls name
was Susan, said that when he left the
world he wanted to do so by suey's
side.
A plumber, who was about to die
said "My only regret about dying i,
because where l am going water
pipes never freeze up"
Ma he said at dinner, 'who was
Charlotte Russer 'Oh,' said ma. Ssh,
was one of them old queens VIII,
made trouble during the restoration.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08

A Boston dude, very fond of comic
opera, got Boston jeweler to make
him a scarf pin expressive of the
weakness. The jeweler made it TO
represent bar of music with two
diamond notes between the bars al
the bottom. Dude showed it 10 the
ladies, when one of the prettiest and
brightest exclaimed: allow very neat
and appropriated" "Do you think so?
inquired the delighted youth. Ger
tainly, l do, and these beautiful dia-
mond notes; they fit you so well. DO
do-that makes dodo, you see. How
ingenious and how very true! The
dude is laying for that jewcler.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08
ERRORS OF YOUTH.

A GENTLEMAN who suffered for wears
from NERVOUS DEBILiTY PREMATURE DECAY,
and all the effects Of youthful indiscretion,
will for the sake OF suffering humanity, send
hee to all whv nee'l it, the recipe and ,lirec
from for making the simple remedy by which
tic was cured. Sufferers wishing 20 profit by
the advertisers experience can do so by nd.
dressing In perfect con fdence.
JOHN Il. OGDEN, ~ Cedar, ST., New York,
be'2S6 Ply
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08
Don't be Alarmed

at Brights Disease, Diabetes, or any
disease of the kidneys, liver or urina-
~ organs, as Hop Bitters will GER
tainly and lastingly cure You, and it
is the only thing that will.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08


In 1881 man lame up missing in
Pulaski county. Foul murder was
talked of. Bones were found. Three
men were accused of the supposed
murder. Witnesses were summoned
a trial was had, and Gilmore and
Meace were convicted, sentenced to
the pcnitertiary for ten years, and
hurried off to Frankfort. There they
have stayed and suffered until last
Friday when Gov. Blackburn par
doncd them. The man whom they
were suppose to hare murdered chose
bones ,oere paraded in court, ect., is
now citizen of Crittenden county,
alive and doubtless astonished to
know that anybody deemed him dead.
How juries and courts can be mis-
taken !-Princeton Banner.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08

Work Given Out.On receipt of your
address we will make an offer by
which you can earn SO to 81 evenings
at your home. Men, Women, Boys
or Girls can do it. H. G. w ILKIN-
SON 4 CO., l95aad l97 FultonStreet
New York,
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08
q Kentucky Wild Man.


Newton Mullen, an insane man.
sent TO the asylum at Anchorage,
from Harrison county, recently es-
capped from thai institution, aud now
makes his home in cliffs and bushes
on Guests creek. He is perfectly
wild, goes near no habitation, and
flies with the fleetness of of dear
TO some secure hiding place on the
approach of any of the human specie.
He spends the greater part of his
nights in some prominent place on
the cliffs, bowling like lost dog. He
ives on roots All fish. His hideous
noise at night is very annoying to
the people in the neighbordood Of
his wanderings. Officer Taylor has
been requested by the authorities at
Anchorage to effect his capture and
return him to the asyslum if possible.
He will go out with a posse for that
purpose, but expects long chase.
Mullen passed through this place
when he escaped from the asylum.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08
500 Reward.

Is offered for any case Of Catarrh
that can't be cured with Halls Ca
arrh Cure. Take internally. Price
75cents.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08

~Diamond Dyes are so perfect
and so beautiful that it is pleasure
to use them. Equally good for dark
or light colors. 10 cts.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08
Rough on Rats.

Clears out rats, mice, reaches, flies,
ants bed-bugs, skunks, chipmunks
opghers, lAc. Druggist.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08
"Buohupaiba. ,

Quick complete cure, all annoying
Kidney, Bladder and Urinary Dis
ca Sc. 81. Druggists.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08

MN wreK made at home by the industry
VII Gus. Best business now before the
.nIf public. Capital not needed. M1A will
VI I start you. Men. women, BOYS and
girls wasted every where to work for W.. Now
10 the time. You can work In spare time. or
give your whole time to the business. No
other business will pay you nearly aa well.
No one can fail To make enormous pay, by
engaging ut once. Costly outfit and terms
free. Mrnev made fact, easy and honorably.
Address TErE Co., Augusta, Me.
decd 49, ".
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1883-05-08
TO CONSUME Tlyes.

'ured Of that dread disease, Consumptio ~
tsimple remedy, is anxious ~ make kn own 10
its fellow.sufferers tho means OF cure, 70 All
who desire IL, he will send n copy OF the pre-.
-cription used, free OF charge,j with the III.
which they Will lind sure cure for C0uoHs.
tDLDs. CONSUMPTION, ASTHMA, BRoNoniTIa.
&c. Parties wishing the Prescription, will
please a,idregs, Rev. y. a. WILSON, 1914 Pens
90. .Williamsburgh, MY.
feb.2s's2-iy.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-29
Ed. LARKlN CLOSING OUT.
= treat chance to Buy Dry Goods and
Carpets Away Down.

You can say to the hundred thOuS-
and readers of TIE SUNDAY REGIsTER,
for ne. that il they want good, sub
stautial bargains in dry goods and car
pets, that they IAN find them Gd iii.
ut Ills Main street." said Mr.. Ed. Lar
Kin. in response To the inquiry of what
he was doing in his line,
And" he continued, this is a clos
ing out sale that means business. i am
going TO Chicago TO 80 into trade there.
Not hat 3idu't have more than fair
share of patronage here, but for the
reason that | think there is larger
field ana more money for me there.
You can see for yourself that | have
big stock Of very sSaSOuable and de-
sirable goods in store, notwithstanding
that my sales in the past few weeks
have been enormous. Bat am selling
at big sacrifice L ever bargains were
offered in the dry goods line in the
city of Wheeling ! am Offering them
now. At the rafting pace at which
they are going OFT will close out every
dollars worth in two or three months
at the least. don't want 10 mention
prices, but the people understand that
they are away down 70 bed rock. lam
SSlAlik iblN VI EPltl> III iONt'T il1uIts lIAu
could buy for from importers aud
manufacturers. This Is fact of note,
and when YOU take into consideration
that in dCsirabillty there is 10 better or
chOicer selection 70 be found, YOU can
readily see that there is every reason for
people rushing here to buy. Plenty of
customers are awaiting themselves ofthe
great Inducements being offered to sup
ply themselves for future wants. They
are wise in doing this, for look ahead
a. far as you can and you won't see
probability Of any such chance occur
ring soon again"
"lour carpet trade is pretty heavy,
is IL nOt?"
at is, indeed, and in this one depar;-
ment alone housekeeperS will fiuG mag
uiiceBt opportunities for getting car
pets cheaper than WAS ever heard of IN
the city of Wheeling. / am Offering
grand Inducements to purchasers. and
those who come early will c0ngratu-
late themselves"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-29
THECHINeSe.
Sow they Drive u Bargain-An EHorI
10 EDgBgea Laundry man,
Nm EJyu,J.,sD IJU

Sun fTGnctscO CTH.
There is no class of people 80 close in
II wing bargain a. the Chinese.
y henever they desire to make pur-
aAC they always try to beat down the
lIrr, but when any one wishes to en-.
rspc their services they always demand
4 high price, and generally come
,:,Wn little by little until satisfactory
agrccment is reached. An incident Oc-
CURED in a restaurant the other day
which il illustrative OF the way in
which Chinese do business. One of the
many laundrymen who are engaged in
business in this city entered the restaur-
ant, and approaching the proprietor So
iiCited his custom:
"NOu likee me do washee" he asked.
How much will you charges week ,"
asked the proprietor.
"llOw muchee you hap gOt:'
Twenty tahle-clothce every day, and
,hort twohundred Napkins
"Evcly day so muchee"" asked the
Celestial, who appeared to be somewhat
ietOnishrd.
YES"
Il likee See how big"
He Was shown cloth and napkin,
and hr cXamined each carefully a. TO
~'Zc and quality, and then turning TO
he proprietor asked:
NO>tarchec"
"No, no starch; just plain washing
md ironing"
The lauudryman commenced to count
III lis fingers, muttcrlng: Gee shep,
than, hoe poe, gee pax, THAN, sukin,|
md after making calculation which
'u-ttd several minutes, he asked:
"GOu likee know how muchee one
week? What kind w"ck--iX day,
seven day?'
"Srvcm days"
"Wha fOah washte evely day"
why every day? Because must
have them clean every day"
ME washee big female; got heap
clothes; wasiee tabey cloths two times
one week, no NOAH"
THAT amt what ] asked you" said
the proprietor, growing impatient. ~
want 10 knoS how mucA you Will
charge"
The laundryman made another cal
culutiun Oh his finger ends, and finally
said:
Ten dollsh one week"
NO, | can do better than that, said
the proprietor, turning away.
"NO like; s'pOse you like pay nine
do'lah eighty-five centsee"'
No"
NO" reIeattd the Chinaman,
Iicbing up his basket aud moving to-
ward the door; then turning suddenly
around he said:
Nine dOllah six bittee.
40 YOU charge too much"
The laundryman passed out of the
place, but in a moment reappea red, aud
putting his head inside the door, said:
You likee pay nine dollah forty
ccntsee"'
no." said the proprietor once more;
al don't want to have anything to do
with YOU"
"Ai light" said the laundryman,
moving away; II go see my blutah
-'pu<e he say me workee too muchee;
nae come back tumula; tell you GOO
bye and singing his basket across his
shoulder he disappeared in the throng
oil the sidewalk.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-29

than they are in either New York or
Philadelphia Tor precisely the same
decorations"
Afterwards talking with one Of the
firm Of the furniture and carpet depaIt-
ment, was informed that in both these
branches the firm has taken an increased
stride in the way Of larger stocks, and
I was convinced, by some prices quoted
me, that there is no establishment
either East or West better fitted to sup
ply the trade in this line at lower figures
than that of G.. Mendel * Go. They
are already doing q heavy business,
although the season has but just begun,
and they say that continuation of it
will result in an enormous business.
The popularity Of this house is a de.
served one for every good business
reason and their favorable showing Of
trade i another substantial spike which
goes to clinch the assertion that Wheel
ing a. u market has no superior IN the
vide West.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-29
Robert COIIycr at the CIrcus.
From The .Tcw yorh Graphic.


AT the circus the other night"
writes correspondent, my attention
was about evenly divided between
Jumbo-who showed an altogether too
sociable desire to sit down in my box
and the Rev. Robert COllyer, who occu-
pied the most conspicuous seat in the
garden, in Brother Barnum's private
balcony. II at any time during the
evening had any dignitied doubt rs to
the propriety of laughing rs loud and
applauding as vigorously "a | wanted
to, had only to turn to my reverend
friend to set my doubts AT rest. lie
stayed the whole thing through and
entered into the spirit of it all as heart
lily and with ~ much unrrstrained
and hilorOus abandon rs would any
happy boy of dozen years. | always
liked Robert COllyer, hut liked him
better than ever when saw that he
got ny much fun out Of Barnums circus
as anyone possibly could, and that he
wasn't afraid to let everyone see that
he was having just ~ much fun rs
though he did not have to face "A pulpit
audience every Sunday.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-04-29

Young business and professional men,
who have no homes of their own,
beard ut these restaurants. where they
do not eat by rule but at what time and
in what manner they will.
The Peelers.
Louisville Is quite proud Of her police
force at present. They have for their
Chief General Tay lOr, war veteran
and who has introduced the strictest
military discipline and etiquette into
heir service and association. The uni
'orm Is very natty, consisting ola dark
navy blue topped by black helmets.
t may be owing to the effectiveness Of
he police force, that Iowdyism is 30
are in the city. One is struck by the
frequency with which ladies can go out
I night with no escort nor protection
ave that contained in the security aud
Iuietn ess Of the streets. 1t is the proud
st tribute, that could be paid to the
awfulnees ofa city to remark simply the
act, that ladies can safely venture out
At light without deeming their action
III adventure.
The Kentucky Negro.
Perhaps the most amusing study in
.OuisvilIe. and suggested by a con.
emPlation OF the police, for he is heir
.hirf care, Is the negro. In the hotel,
lac resta urant, the tonsOrial parlor, he
: q negro of the older time, polite, Obse-
IuiOus, and traditional. Out on the
streets, he is freedman, jealous of his
legal equality and disposed to resent
he slightest assumption OfsuperiOrity on
he part of the white citizens, if he
links it safe. There Is but one argu-
nent he is susceptible to when outdoors
nd that is the persuasive rhetoric OF q
- Calibre. One of the first facts, which
truck us, upon our return, was the fire.
Inence of negroes on the street cars.
IN conversation with car driver he
old us that the cOlored citizen was q
.UOd patron OF the street car on every
inc In the city; that he would ride on
n average a shorter distance than a
white citizen. Another fact which
struck us was the feebleness o the no
gro. Strong, athletic, aud agile young
bucks are uniformly so intirm they cam
rot get off of a car in motion; invaria-
oily, whether it he moving slowly or
rapidly, they deliberately pull the bell
10 make that white fellow wait on them
and assert their Importance. On Fourth
rVCnuc,th most fashionable line in the
ity, we have seen three darkey de-
mG,selles stop the car three success
i've times within half square, rather
/! an walk an extra fifty feet.
But although admitted to the street
'sr>, it is unnecessary to say that they
trt not admitted to the theatres or
rcrlaurants. At Macauley's a portion
# the second circular is allotted to
u.,m, and any part of the third, the
dode of the gods of either color. Even
he Vaudeville, easy going buckingham,
night put the Wheeling Opera House
- blush in this respect. 1t has two
irtss circles, one for the whites and the
uti rr far the blacks. Az COURANT.