The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1883-11-29
LITTLE JoHNNY's STORY.
Missus Doppy's Peculiar Predica
msnt, and Uncle Ned's Pres
ence Of Mind.


This mornin' me and my mothe
and Missus Doppy was standin' i
the kitchen, and there was mouse
and the mouse it skipt up Missu
Doppy's close like it was to hom
there and dinner was ready. Missu
Doppy she jumped onto chair anC
hollored real fewrious, and held be-
close so tight around her feets thai
the mouse cudent get out, and my
mother she hollered too like hei
heart was broke, and / cride. Bime
by my Uncle Ned he come in, and
Missus Doppy she tole him mighty
lowd to save her.
Uncle Ned he see how it was and
he folded his arms and said, Uncle
Ned did, "Missus Doppy, vile the
peculer caracter of yure misforten
demands my deepest simfathy, the
only thing wich l could do for you
is1of sech nature that it wud be
worse than the mouse"
Missus Doppy she only hollered
the louder ike Injins than she did
before, but my mother. she said
cudent Uncle Ned catch it. and I'm
Gle Ned he said, 81 undoubtedly
shude do so after l had got the
mouse out"
Then Uncle Ned he shot awhile,
and pretty sumo he went to the stove
and put his arm under it and fetch
ed ous Nose, which is the cat, and
Missus Doppy had to let 90 her
close and was tryin' for to shake
out the mouse by jumpin' up an
down, and Uncle Ned he put Nose
between her feet and let him 90,
and. he skallyhuted up her close
like lightdin' for to cetch the mouse
You never see sech cerkus perfor
mence in all your life, and when my
father he come in he said he never
dident in hisen too.
After it was al over an Nose had
ct the mouse, and Nissus Doppy
lynn pecefe in bed with poultish
onto her LEWIS, Uncle Ned he spoke
up and sed; Johnny" and l sed,
wot did he want. And then he
said; Johnny" a other tune, 81
guess it's about the rite time Cor me
an you to 60 in an receive the
thank which is due to our vallor
and divescion in suckerin' lady
wich was in distress"
So me and him we went for to
see Missus Doppy, and Uncle Ned |
he bowed real plite and begun for
to make speech, tellin' her not to
it cos we didrnt do any
more than our duty; but Missus
Doppy she sed he was q crule man,
and then she busted out cryin'
and l was excited l busted out a
eryin' too, and Nose, which is the /
Eat, he luked in at the dOre an seen
low things was, and he showed out
Is hard rs ever he could hook it,
After while, won things was cam
ner, Uncle Ned he sed:
'Missus Doppy, | hope, you will
issen patient to man WITCH, as
Johnny will tel you, has been to In
y and everywhere, vile he ldjscorp-
'es little onto the matter wich YOU
lad Under Consideration while you
vas addressin' the house from the
chair. Now Begin your pardon,
t is a well-known fact in natural
history that mice don't bite nobody
ess you cetch 'em an squeeze 'em
tween yure thum and finger. 1t is
skally well understood, and has
0een proofed by scientific expert
nentin', that wen they cline they
lon't stick in their nails to mount
% much, wotever cats may do I'M
Ter the same circumstances, / have
iggured this thing out in dozen
an l can't find any
of a woman which has ben
bit or scratched by mouse a-run
ming up her close
Then Missus Doppy luked at him
zeal sollem out of her eyes, and said
wot was he drivin' at. Uncle Ned
ne sed:
Eyes, yes. I'm a-camin' to that
pretty presently, and hope you
will xcuse me if / handle sech a
lellycate subjeck with my usule
jest like a man. But
his is wot worries me an Johnny,
and we wude like to be set rite.
Now, if q mouse wen it runs up"
Then Missus Doppy luked at him
agin, sollemer than before, and he
got red like turkey coxes, wottles,
and sed:
"Missus Doppy, as l was about
to say wen you intrupted me, if
mouse gets where as a gentleman
amt got no business for to be, and
if it don't bite and it don't scratch,
now wot hurt can it do? If it's a
fair question, me and Johnny here
we would like to know wot was you
afraid of the mouse for?''
l felt mighty proud, can tell
you, an spoke up an sed: eyes,
Missus Doppy, me and Qncid Ned
we want you to tell US wot it was
wich you was afraid the mouse was
ogoin for to do for you"
Missus Doppy she. didn't say any
thing for long vile, only just put
her hands over her face, and after
awhile asst if we ment to insulter.
Then Uncle Ned he rose up and
sed: 'Johnny, they are all alike,
and l said what was all alike? And !
he rose and said-"cats."