The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-17
SHAM EFUL-
A Terrible Scene on Account of q Keg
 of Cider.

Of Cider.
 In the measured language ot the Rev. Dr. Valrongle. ' To all who can in inno- cence beguile the light-toed foo,falls of social night in mr,h which does no, scar our moral self it is duty which we owe ourselves to join our hands in pleasures gayest throng. for given unto us the com mand has been. eat and drink and merry thou must be, for on the morrow thou mayes, surely die"
 This the doctor repeated in memory from his own blank verse work of sacred poems, in answer to question asked by the Rev. Mir Mulki,tle. as to whether or not il would be proper to place before his company keg of cider, sent him by q country brother. Dr. Nalrongle. although he had foresworn another visi, to the house. yielded 10 warm persuasion. and went again to Mulkittle's humble home, to be present upon the occasion of so- cial assemblage.
 The boys Uncle Henry, young man with whom only the most courageous minister would dare claim relationship. visited the house shortly after the cider was received. and deniering. upon repeated occasions, the room where the mild juice was kept he relieved the kes of much ofi,s strain. Learning that his brother-in-law the Rev. Mir Mulkittlc. contemplated 1 giving l social entertainment he re- pen,ed of his indulgence. knowing ,ha, the cider would be produced and know ing that all the loss sustained to the keg would be discovered, he determined 10 replace il by the best substitute. apple brandy: so, purchasing about half gal lon of this hilarious liquid, he induced the boy to ind the keg. the whereabouts of whose removal he was no, eognizant and to pour the brandy into the harmless fruit-extrae,. Good, from the first page of history down to now. ha. been made an agent oi evil. so young Mulkittle. in executing this commission, certainly did not think iha, ,ae was com. hitting a terrible sin against the stomach "a sin. for nearly all men know that the worst mixture known to malicious ,hirs, and devilish appetite is cider and apple brandy.
 When the company, kind of popcorn affair, was assembled in the parlor. Dr Valrongle stood as a special messengel from Galilee. When asked. he said that he thought the temperance question one of vital importance. If the people could only confine themselves to cider. as he and in fact the entire company were do. ing. the world would not suffer He had just thrown himself back on that striking lly clergic bed of roses where so man, men of gospel, where so many men o preach rest and talk while others seem to wish in vain for termination. wher young Mulkittle entered, and, recognizing the doctor. asked:
 = Was Absalom good =
 - Al one time he may have been.n re. piled the doctor, . but al the time of his death he was rot.
 Was Job good =
 s' Yes he was good.
 Was Adam good v
 The doctor looked around inc room. listened to the merry hum of voices  looked at the glasses of cider, received one. drank il. and replied. he disooeyed the com1and and was driven ou, o Eden
 @Was Abel good :'i
 Yes and he accepted another glass of cider.
 "D:i Noah take Gain into the ark =
 -Oh, no. Noah was not born while Cain lived"
 -How born ::H
 He had not come 10 ;he earth.
 Where xas he :.
 -The Lord had no, Pu, him upon earin.-
 Was he in heaven"
 Well. and he looked around, no, neglecsing glass of cider that had beer placed beside him. T suppose he vas I, ''ls heaven better than the earth =
 -Oh, yes, great deal bester.''
 Well, why didn't Noah stay there r I s.l don't knowr
 .Yes you do. You know who'll go to heaven and know who God likes. Why 1 don't you know why Noah didn't stay