Arizona weekly citizen., 1883-07-07
The Heaf in ,EriSco.

''Whew but it's hOtternell P' gasped the Major as be dropped his four hun dred pounds of mortal meat into the solid chair in the cool back room Of Muggins' Retreat. "Muggins, make me Q claret punch
 Hot, eh '" grOwled voice hDm s1e shadOwy depths of the little apartment You're like the rest of 'em, Major you've never travelled, and you don't know what heat is."
 Beg pardon, Commodore, didn't see you when l came out of the glare of the sun. You've been in India and China, and all over the world, and ought to be an authority. Whst'll you take %
 "Yes," snarled the Commodore, some what modified, however, by the invita- tiOn, "I should say 1 ought. Why-but 1t makes my teeth chatter with cold to hear you fellows talk about this being hot. Muggins, bring me hot brandy with some red pepper in it, quick, before freeze to death
 Well, expostulated the Major meekly, ''I didn't mean any Otfense, Commodore. 1 only meant that 1t was very warm for San Franciso. l served at Fort Yuma for several summer months myself, some years ago, and you may have heard that It can be pretty warm down there. But of course that was nothing compared with your experience at Bungalunga- tralCOgapOre. Let me see, believe you said that the thermometer, On one Occa- sion"
 Thermometer. sir" broke in the ] Commodore, as be quietly emptied the remnants of the Majors ice into his boiling tipple. i've had no thermometers in BungalungatralOOga We had to give them up. The mercury used to lift the ordinary ones clear Of their nails and sore alOft with them into the blue Armament of heaven. Then We bought the tubes longer and longer til We had to use ladders to see how the tempera- ture stood. The last one We got was so high that we put man Tn a hut on top of IL and got news by telephone for n time, but there was everlasting snow on the summit of that thermometer, and the very same day that the mercury burst through the top the poor fellow On watch was frozen to death. When bis wife heard of 1t We had Co place her re- mains In bucket
 "How was that" asked the sympathe tic Major.
 Well, you see, she was melted ID tears" replied the Commodore, com placently.
 Pretty hot, that, confess said the Major, but truth cOmpels me to add that as an ice-chest IS to a furnace so IS BungalungatralOOgapO 10 Fort Yuma Why, Commodore, we kept our ther- mOmeter packed in ice, and yet 1t never registered less than 49O degrees for weeks at time. | invented a cOntriv- ance myself which, though ingenious enough, failed of it's purpose. l had baggy suit made all m one piece, and after ] got into this stark naked 1t was filed up with powdered ice; then I got into a revolving cylinder made of fine wire, and was shaken up after the man her of a frozen absinthe. But 1t was no use. Before had revOlved five minutes | found myself in a not bath, and five minutes later the heat of my body had melted the wires, and l dropped out par boiled"
 That's all right" said the COmmo- dO-e, calmly, "but when I think of your experience and compare 1t with my own, lt positively gives me chill I remem- Der that on one particularly hot night l took to the roof Of my bamboo bungalow tO see fl at last l could save myself from NN+-e OftA -AbAC WAtu AAC Ncp1A-h H-e cess was ended. Ny skin was burned to a crisp, but still there was little grease left under 1t. I had been on my back about two minutes when l heard loud dripping on the floor below. | knew m a moment that l was melting away, and if I had not at once got down and caught myself in a bucket I should not now be here to tell the tale.
 ~Yes," 1t must have been pretty warm about then, said the Major, collectively, "but I forgot to add that few hours after we had packed the thermometer in ice we smelt an odor of burning Upon investigation 1t proved that the mercury had set the ice on fire, and that the poor fellow who had acted as eel larer had been scalded to death by the steam. Further than that
 "Never mind, Major" said the Com modOre, wearily. Yuma must be quite a warm place. Let's repat. I've recov- cred from my chill. 4 little sbsinthe, please, Muggins, and make 1t with ice 'hat has been kept on ice, if yOu have any. -Argonaut.