The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1883-03-15
Wars AND WINS.

TnE Rome Sentinel says tliat an aili-
is only skin deep.
HINTS to housekeepers When your
fayorite cats become too prolific you must
"pool their issues"
FAITH moves mountainG but it takes Q
couple OF express wagons to move a fash
| ionable woman's baggage
THE grand and awful difference be-
tween tree and bore isA-tho tree
leaves in the spring, and the bore-why.
he never leaves.
THE two urchins who played esescap-
! ing from the wreck" by using their
mothers holiday dough-trough for life
boat, were lashed together.
A MAN in Baltimore has the wooden
shutter of the room occupied by Mary
Phillipse, who gave George Washington
the mitten. Oupid's blind.
The bible tells us not to put our trust
in riches, and great many men don't at
tho present day Their total lack Of
riches explains why.
A MINNESOTA farmer who has five
grown-up daughters, has ssued the county
on n claim that his residence has been
used as courtroom" for the past two
years.
A HADDENFEbD (Cape May) sign
reads: SIS cream salon cakes prettzells
and canddy and cigars oisters and 1odg-
ing and horses wattered constantly ON
hand"
IT has been said that poverty treads
upon the heels of great and unexpected
riches; but then newspaper man never
has corns on his heels, and he can
stand it.
PPoPRmroR-" IF you boys don't
clear out I'll call that officer and have
you taken in" Boy-"That's where
you'd be taken in; that policeman's my
dad, he is."
The church is the pew rest place on
earth. Herald. And one
can tell how good the men are by the
number of hymns found there. CSncin-
mate Gazette.
SOMEBODY wants to know why we do
not 60 to Europe. Well, the fact is II
that has come over here, we've seen
enough of it.-Burlingto1e HaaOkeye.
He talked love to her, and dove to her, l.
| nv; And and tried to squeeze her hand,
While she sat up and "yessed" and "noed,n
| And yawned bohnd her fan
| (Because she had sat up the night before.
With fellow she had an awful fondness fcr.)
-SteubeRvuie Herald.
THE following advertisement appeared
lately in an Irish newspaper: '"rhis is
to notify Patrick O'Flaherty, who lately
left his lodgings, if he does not return
soon and pay for the same he shall be ad-
vertised."
"WEnD, if ever saw the like" re-
marked Mr.. Whiskyskin, as he mopped
the perspiration from his brow. =" I
don't see where all this water comes from
that oozes through my pores. haven't
tasted the stuff for ten years" -.4
WHAT n pity that n big heart is SO
often compelled to keep company with q
small income?-N. Y. Ncw8. Rather,
what pity that big income is so often
compelled to keep company with small
heart
"Do not know commas when you see
them?" said the village school teacher
to the book-keeper of banking house,
whose education had been neglected.
"What are these &, ), y on your gro
GERS bill ?" "Beers," said he.
POLICE court scene--Judge to an un-
prepossessing tramp: "What are your
means of iving?" "I am an inventor. /"
"Ah, indeed. And what have you in
vented ?" Nothing as yet; but I am
on the lookout"
Mrs. DoMEsr1cIrY calls at the kitchen
furnishing store "Have you Cooks
stewers?" she asks. The dealer is dumb
founded till he is shown an ADVERTISE
ment of Cooks Tours" when he di-
rected her to the nearest railroad Office.
Ten residents of Waverly, who
wouldn't do days work for anything,
recently hauled over twenty cords Of
wood to get n red squirrel that wasn't
there. Then they crack ed command.
ment.-OOego Rccord
Why is it that whisky straight will
make O man walk crooked ?-Boston
Globe. Why is it? Why, it is because
you drink it. Did you never think Of
that? You leave the whisky in the Jug.
and it will not make you walk crooked.
DoN'T blame the rooster for Dragging
over every egg that is laid in the family.
Only human nature, nothing more. You
remember that when that bouncing boy
arrived at your house it wasn't the
mother who went about doing the crow
ing.
AN Indian came to an agent in the
northern part Of Iowa to procure some
whisky foI a younger brother, who ne
said had been bitten by rattlesnake.
"Four quarts p repeated the agent, with
surprise; "much as that?" eyes, !"
replied the Indian, "four quarts; snake
very big" -