The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-12-12

The keynote Wife, let me ink
change.
A highly educated Maine girl has Just fin
ished shingling her fathers office. Well
bet she wore silk stockings.
An old village lady who had arrived at the
advanced age of ninety-two lost her son,
who was seYenty-two. Il expected 1T"
she cried. 81 never thought that should
raise him."
Jones asked his wife: ''Why is husband
like dough?' He expected she would give
itup, and he was going to tell her that it
was because a woman needs him; but she
said II was because he was hard to get of her
hands.
The girl from st. Louis read "There is
destiny that shapes our ends, rough" and
here she paused and explained: Rough!
Well, / should say so. Rough is no name
forit. It's lust too mean for anything" and
catching up tablecloth she threw it over
her feet and burst into tears.
When marry" said budding school
girl, ''PIl want tall, fne-looking man."
f'Thure's where you're wrong, sis" said her
more practical mother; you'll have less
trouble watching an ugly man and enjoy
more of his company.
''Old-man-afraid-of nothing is the name
of a recently civilized Indian in Montana;
but as he has since married white woman,
he thinks of sending in petition to have his
name changed.
Our experience as an editor has taught rs
that a poem written by a woman and headed
my Hearts Lament" about which is cir
Gle of little scallops and fittings, neatly but
laboriOusly executed with pen, is sad,
weird subject for the waste basket
If your wife faints do not spoil her dress
by dashing pitcher of water over her. Loud
l,vH ho hap nf w m
mediately revive and want TO know whom
you were kissing. Do not tell her aud she
will not faint anymore.-Philadelphi Call.
Gothic and Eckermann once in Weimar
saw a married lady whom they knew re-
ceive with apparent willingness kiss from
a gentleman who was not her husband. IF
had not seen this" said Eckermann, II
would not have believed it." Hush, hush, /"
said the discreet poet; 81 have seen it and
don't believe it."
Johnnie did anyone have the Group in
your house last night?' Dunno! What
made you az me?' "Well, saw a light in
the house long after midnight" ''Oh! that's
my sister, She has something down in the
parlor awful late every night bat l don't
know whether it's the Group or not"
A new book processes to give an account Of
how families live in Heaven. II it throws
any light on the domestic arrangements of a
man who has married his deceased wites sis
ter, or OF the man who has buried his third
wife on earth, and tries to explain matters to
three spiritual mothers-in-law, the work must
be very attractive reading.
One night woman was trying hard to get
her drunken husband home, and as she
pulled him along the street her words and
actions were so tender that by-stander
said, well, all drunkards' wives haven't
your disposition" "S-h-hl don't say any
thing" she replied, in a whisper; i've got
10 call him pet names to get him home but
wait till he drops in the front passage-be
there then"
A poor Irishman applied for relief, and
upon some doubts being expressed a TO
whether he was q proper object for relief, he
enforced his suit with much earnestness;
''Oh, yer homer" said he, I'D be starved
long since but for me cat" But for whatY'
asked the astonished magistrate. Me cat!'
replied the Irishman. "Your cat! How sop
"Shure, yer honor, i sowld her eleven
times for a quarter time, and she was al
ways home before / could get there meself."
The laird Ito the minister who has been
holding forth on temperance But what
should i do with my cellar of wine? You
wouldn't have me destroy it?' Minister
INA, ma! that would be a sen! But get rid
oft in a natural manner, as soon IS We can
an I'll come an help we whenever We
Hke."-Churchman.
An old-time clergyman Of Eastern Con-
neticutc. commonly known as Priest
w." was very shrewed man and quick
at repartee. Once when on an exchange he
was annoyed TO find the room so dark, and
reckoning 10 person sitting near the pulpit.
he asked him TO open the blinds TO let in
more light. I'VE expect light from you
said the gentleman "But must get it from
heaven FIRST" was the quick rejoinder.