The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1883-05-09
Mr.. and Mrs. Spoopendyke.

'Now, my dear,n said Mr.. Spoopen
dyke, shuffting the cards and dividing
the checkers into two even piles; sup
pose we play a little game OF poker.
"Do you know how to play poker?'
II guess so,'' replied Mrs spoopen-
dyke, hitching mp her chair and dusting
the top Of the table with towel.
"NoW, how many cards do you WANT
"Let 4 e think,d fiuttered Mrs. Spoo
pendyke, "let's see, | believe LII take
tenn
Better take grossm snorted Mr..
Spoopendyke, eyeing her Wrathfully
'Perhaps you'd like half q barrel.
Don't you know you can't draw but tive:
IT you've got any bad cards, throw EN-
away and Ill give you more for EN-:
If your cards are all good you can stand
pat. Do you want to stand pat..'
II guess so,n sighed Mrs. spoopenr-
dyke, helplessly. IF [ stand pat, Go
You don't play either" replied Nh.
Spoopendyke, eiping himself to five
cards and drawing a couple OF kings.
Now, it's my bet. I bet two, what Go
you bet?n
'Then | bet two" answered Mrs
Spoopendyke, Frightening up as she be-
| gan to see her way clear. Il bet queen
and an eight,n and she laid them down
with confidence.
nThat calls my hand,n said Mr.. spoo-
pendyke, gleefuily, "only you don't bet
YOUR cards; you bet your checkers. Iut
| in two checkers and show your cards.
Mrs. Spoopendyke showed her check
! ers into the middle of the table and lald
down three eights and pair OF queens.
"Where'd you get 'em"' roared MI
Spoopendyke, recognizing his defeat.
'.NVhat did you want to keep talking
| about the three of eights'and the two q
queens? Why didn't you tell ne you
i had full hand?'
ssYou gave 'e1n to me" returned Mrs.
Spoopendyke, dolefully. Il only had
/ those five. "What does it do?'
ut makes a jack potn groWled Mr..
SpoopendylSe, seeing a chance for him 70
/ self Id his wife's utter ignorance OF the
game. '.Now, we've each got to put ID
one checker, Just because you played LII
that say
I'm sorry, DEAR" cooed Mrs: spoo
peDdyke, rather pleased with the idea
of getting out of the scrape at any ex
pense ssAnd yet might have know
# would make it jack pep, if [ hac
stopped to Think
when YOU stop to think you only
want a stick of chewing gum and raj
trap to be female seminary! DO yol
know what a Jack pot is? Got some
kind of a notion that it has three leg
and Is used to cook mush in haven't ye
Well, it isn't, and it isn't to sit there ant
grin at either It takes a pair OF jacks
or something as good as them to open II
INow. take these cards and tell m'
whether you open it or not"
/ Mrs. Spoopendyke examined her cara q
! critically.
Spoopeudyke.
His wife laid down four aces and
i jack. -,
MI. Spoopendyke glanced at the han'
! and then at his own cards. His ace wa
only the Joker, which he had fofgottel
to remove from the pack.
(Which opens it?n inquired Mrs
: Spoopendyke, watching the gatherln
! storm with some trepidatlon.
! aNothing opens it, yelled Mr.. Spoe
! pendyke, dashing his cards to the f1ool
q with your way of playing, It Woul
take o Steam oyster-knife to open L
+ How'd We think it was opened with
q NIGHT KEY? Got an idea that it ha
hinges, haven't ye, and opens Wldes
. when it has nothing to say, like you
4 mouth?n :, ,
. . Must I bet my last cent noW?n fal
. cred Mrs. Spoopendyke, profoundly III
{ pressed with the idea that the game Ws
= still going on, 1--WE got four dollars, bt
}, I want one for wiggin. Shall bet I'll
3 other three"
T nBet 'em!n baw1ed Mr.. Spoonendyk'
: who, like a great many men regarde
r. the idea of his wife beating him at an,
+ + thing as something intolerably blasph
4 NOUS. 'sWhy don't ye bet? Bring tort
: fhe speculative three dollars and hazaI
- If on the four triumphant aces. wal
7 h-h-h.' and the conclusion OF Mr.. spo'
!. nendyke's speech flew out OF him te
Q fast for perfect enunciation.
? IT don't care,n murmured Mrs. Spo
:, :, nendyke. as she wound the clock an
. Stood scratching her nose with the ke..
+ nhe told me that four aces We're as goo
i a. the lack pot, and when / opened !
h he said I was wrong. Another time Z
n nut them in my pocket and ne can pa
! away at that jack pot until he's bald b
% fosse I'll help him get it open.
i Ana with this riotous deteTmlnatlo
4 Mrs. Spoopendyke craWled into bed an
/ dreamed that she had got caught IN
4 lack pot with a spring lock TO It, an
e couldn't get out because she had lett u
= four aces in the pocket OF her ne
Il plumD-colored silk.-Drale's Hagdsan
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4 al OF