The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-11-27
SOME OLD LIARS.
How n Dragging Match Was Conducted
Between Two Old Men.

How n Dragging Match Was Conducted
Between Two Old Men.
Some days since, says the Bloomington
Bulletin, the reporter was 10 the lobby Of one
Of the hotels OF this city, when he overheard
conversation which he determined to give to
the public the first time local news should
become so slack as to force him to draw upon
his Imagination a little to I'LL up the space
allotted To him. The two gray haired dis
ciples of Eli Perkins who were managing the
exhibition were from different parts of the
country, and one Of them was a regular down
east Yankee, while the other was German.
The Conversational powers Of these two old
sinners we're brought into play by fight be-
tween two boys on the sidewalk.
"Ven was a poy," said the German, al
Wiped fife or ten poys yot vas two, free times
pigger den vas. dill der little rascals squeel
like der duyfel vas sthirrin' EN- cop nit his
boxer Dem leedle poogers vas always pullin'
mine h,ir ind smackin' me der face und
vas got so tam mat gould sthand dere
iooln' no longer some more, 50 Won tay
dells mine pig brutter dot | will leek dose
peeze-wags out nit dem leede rascals der
ferry first dime dey go NIT dot monkey peeli-
ness init mine hair. Next isy TEN poys pull
mine hair leedle more und yust leeit oop
mine hind foot und gick der bants clean Of
dat biggest poy und stood him on hes bet in
der corner vile smack der udder poys nit de
goat dali under, so" and he gave the Yankee
fearful Il, IN the ribs with his clenched FIST.
"By darn" exclaimed he Of the East, as
he caught his breath, THAT story minds me
how | used to knock the appleslss out o. Bill
Marker down in Yarmouth. Bill as mighty
hard chap to peg, now, | tell we an he
thumped Us little iellers around list as he
darned pleased, i'll got mad, one day, and
went inter his hide like a bull into a straw
stack. The first lick hit i'm felt TO me Just
like that j, yer planted over my breather Just
now. BY gun hit i'm SO daued hard
that 'un agin his fist an fell over backsr
Then | never let up TIL both our eyes was
blacker an two hats Ike your'n, and when
went home from school nam thought the
kyars had run over me. Itell ye give i'm
the communicates drubbn' he ever got "
Dot vas very goot mine friendt Dit you
enfer vip nopody Uh-n you git pig like nov >
Yes, Stree vas galltywhackn' around
in Californy in 40 an the hardest crowd |
ever struck got on tear one night at Sacra-
mento an run me two blocks past the State
lore gin to git mad 1 turned round, an
when the first I'm was bout eight feet from me
| whaled away with my left foot an kicked
his upper Jaw clean of "
Goodness gracious, how awful long dat
keek val"
Yes sir; an when a great big frlle with a
bowie'kniie two ieet long was reachin' for my
bread basket, let dive with my right ii i an
kn cked him clean through The side - that
ar State house, an the last I hea d O. him he
was pickin' the sandstone out O. his eyes with
scoop. shovel"
"Mine Cot in himmel How hart you
must hit"
Yves, SIR | hit buff,lo ripht between hi,
peppers once, and my h,t went clear through
him"
lsh dot so, mine friendt :"
'Yes, SIR And took hold % that al
huttllo's tail an w'gg'ed il two or three iime'
fur i'm, an he lied had hit i'm So blarstet
had he couldn't Uiggle It and die himself, SC
had to help him"
"Py shimniny Say, mine fhendt, v,
didn't YOU keep hOlrn on nit dot tail ?"
why, what dye want me TO stand thar OF
the plairs for and hold to that ar bulls tai
an let the cayotes eat me up |"
Ivy eef you hold't on nit do, tail, some
pody might COON up und pellet i'm. Bu
YOU let i'm 60, und now dot tale Is Won tau
lie ="