Omaha daily bee., 1883-02-22
"SHUT The DOOR,"
The Parable Of the Portals,
Otherwise Known as a
HOmily on Hinges.
. General Disquisition on
Doors, What The Bee"
Found Out on q
Mooted QUESTION.

It goes without saying that every
observant citizen has noted tho cur.
rent insanity on the subject Of shutting
doori; farther even it might be said
that every philosophising member Of
the community has been panied ct the
all too evident drift OF this present
craze. Why, even In our W short
career we remember when a mild, K
postulatory glance at the open edifice
was enough to hasten Immediate com
pliance with the unspoken wish. Away
back In the ~patriachal period when
Abraham pitched his tent ON the
plains OF Mamre, and tho three celes.
tial wayfarers, men invited in to re.
fresh themselves with mutton foup,
there we're no grinning guys from
Ethiopia staring at the entrance with
an admonition declaring that "every-
body drops1 this tent flag but YOU"
When Jacob served seven years for
Leah and sat around evenings
In Loban's wigwam there were
no legends on the wall telling him
not to monkey with the lodge.pole,
no smirking variety. actroSs faces
pasted up on the door.post asking him
to "please pull the door.knob or take
a walk" Why, then oh, why this
degeneration In the primitive days
of our own republic will any u dare
say that when Sam Adams dropped iu
on John Hancock to smoke an evening
cigar and talk politics, that a piece Of
painted pasteboard was stuck on the
front door requesting him to manipu
late the door.knob and take off his
overshoes Did Daniel Webster or
John 9. Calhoun or Henry Clay or
any of the great statesmen thrust in.
sulting notices into the faces of every.
one who called on them
And then, besides, it don't do any
good. The careless will igaore the
i%nsinuation, the.vicious wiz defy It,,
and only the truly circumspect and
careful will take cognizince of it. And
to them what else can it be but an
humilis.ion2 We asked a clerk in q
business house in this city where a
h!deous, mouth-sgog Senegambian
chrome glared balefui1y on every one
entering with the perpetual injunction
"shut the doorl'-"Do you think
that ANIMAL" with a jerk Of tho head
toward the street, makes 1t any
easier to keep the door shut2"
"Well, no; I'm afraid not" he on.
swered, after a moment of o~onsldera.
ton. II never thought particularly
Of it before, but when / reflect, /
know that 1t makes us more bother
than 1t saves U.s."
SLOWS that 2" said THE BEE.
"Why, you see, people who leave
the door open come and look At thai
card and get off state drives and finally
walk off and leave the door wide open,
thinking 1t q good joke. Careful
: modest people drop in and get mad a
the concern and slam the door 30 hare
going out that It files open again"
swell, II Is 90 much trouble then Il
make folks do such a simple thing q
> close the hole after them when the,
come In from out doors2"
i, Eyes, 1t Is some care and a grea
] deal more v~exation, and then we catcl
colds from the draugbts of icy air an,
that brings on consumption, bronchtti
and all those bronchial diseases and
"Hold on" said the reporte,
smiling, "tbat's enough; but 20
|, don't think it is improving under tn
new dispensations of placards an
piotures3"
"No; as I said, I don't"
swell, here them" continued tn
reporter, dropping his voice to a hui
ky whisper, do you know-csn 20
look into the future enough to se
what the end of this thing Is going I
. bef"
2 mo-" said the clerk in an aw,
, smitted tone.
;. "You dont2 Well, then, here til,
I'll give tho thing dead away. If
goes on as It Is goipg, In ten yeal
thereW be an AUTOMATIC wooden mo
just within every Threshold, move
by q spring connected with the doc
knob, and brandlshing a hatehet j
Q one hand to brain the visitor in CO,
of noncompliance, while the othe
Z hand will thrust a card into his fac
t with irwin you shut the door
!, printed IN il in two line plea letter.
told you"--And the reports