The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1883-01-19
Il, NO. 80. LODGE MONTANA, JANUARY 19, 1s
1888. WHOLE NO. 7O6
WHY WE LAUGH.
A pair of slippers-:he orange and banana

| skins.-Puck.
When candidate itches too much for Of
fee, the voters generally scratch him.
."No, SIR" said the practical man, ~ don't
60 hunting. find enough to lie about as /,
is"
Solomon was faI ahea If. Brigham Young
in Utah-lfzing woman, for he had TOC
wives.
A school teacher is person employed to
give parents five hours of peace and quiet
per day.
The mouthpiece of the telephone may be
perfectly respectable, but there are great
many things said against it.
The King of Burmah has four queens, aud
General Schenck considers him on the road
10 prosperity. -BostOn Post.
4 Professor WAS lecturing on o"AfLer Man,
WnaI 2" A listeIter remarked that IL MAS
"generaiiy ine sheriff or soms woikan."
Tom Thumb is Knight Tetpplar. He is
the shortest knight in the world-shorter
even than the night Of the 2lst of June.
Ifatwo. wheeled wagon is a bicycle and a
three-wheeled wagon trcy Gle, what would
you call nve heeled one? A V-hicle, of
course.
Josh Billings says: "Whenever find q
real handsome woman engaged in the vim
mems rights bizness, then am goin' to take
my hat under my arm and jine in the pro-
cession."
A Virginia sheriff asked murderer If be
wanted to make a speech on the gallows, and
he replied, 81 guess not; it looks like rain,
and don't want to get wet. Go on with the
hanging"
"What station is this ?" asked lady pas
senger Of an English tourist near by. Look
ing out Of the window and reading q sign
on the fence, he replied, "Rough on Rats, l
guess, num-"
The ballet wasn't known at the time of
Noah, but from what we are told of the old
man there is every reason TO believe that if
it had been, he wouldn't have worked much,
evenings, on the ark.
A reporter of one Of the daily papers of
st. Louis wrote about "whisky with frag-
rance like flowers and q taste like the dream
melody of Mendelsohn's music" and the
prohibitionisis at once decided to hold a
convention in that city.
Why is it that a young man and young
woman will sit for hours and hours together
In paror without saying a word; and then
when it is time for him TO leave, stand an
hour talking earnestly 1.-THE front stoop In
the still, pneumonia alr.-Puck.
Unanswerable: Two sous of the Emerald
Isle discussing certain colored man, one
remarked: "But he was mighty sbmart, dye
tpA a. hat al tr,,
pied the other. "lf he was so smart how did
he come to be a naygarw-Boston Tran.
script. a
A southern negro has very sharp way of
beating the government on postage. He
writes letter and watches his opportunity,
"when de pos'office boss haint alookin'" to
drop it into the box unstamped. He glee-
fully informed an observer the other day
that ~ hab done dat reg'lar honey. Termed
de Tick long time ago.
al have come to kill you," said man en-
tering an .Arkansaw newspaper office, draw
inn pistol and confronting the editor. "You
have published an article derogatory to my
character, and II is my duty as a husband
and father to kill you" 81 am glad of IT,"
the poor editor replied, ~ was just thinking
of committing suicide" "Well, if that's the
case let's 60 down and take something"
"Now you move my emotion" and the two
deadly enemies went out together. And yet
some people are in favor of prohibition
Arkdnsa,c Irdreier.
1t was just as the curtain had gone up for
the third act, when Smith, who had been out
to "see man." noticed Brown, seated few
rows in front of him. "Do you see that fel-
low over there?" he said to his wife. She
nodded assent. "Well," he said, ~ hate
that fellow like cat hates hot soup, and il
ever get a chance Eli paralyze him." Then
his wife asked: care you going out to see a
man after this act?" Smith hiccoughingly
allowed that he was. swell, l will tell you
what to do dear. When you come back you
go over to Mr.. Brown and breathe on him.
That will paralyze him."--Rochester Post
Erpress.