Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-03-07
PLEASANTRIES.

Is towering the shorts the same
thing as tucking up the children?
HE Ohio was three feet Ohigher tbao
the Ohighest previous record. = Chicago
Times.
THE old I've about soap mine is 60
ing the rounds again. -BOStOn Cum.
Bulletin.
thurman who sat on tack, SAYS that
all this talk about the dullness of iron is
nonsense.
The apothecary clerk and the barten-
der mix in all kinds of company. Bos-
ton Transcript.
WASHINGTON was naturally q soldier.
Born late IN February, he was soon on
the March. -Loui8viLLe Courier Jour-
nal.
The evil that men do lives after them.
Even when an amateur cornetist dies he
leaves the fatal instrument behind
LOWELL Citizen.
" ALMOST bad disaster" is a head
ing in an exchange. We are now en-
gagged IN a wild search for a good disas-
ter.-OU C5ty Blizzard.
A MAN wrote to Abe HummeI for four
dollars ''because he is terribly short"
and got in reply the heartless response:
4" Do as [ do; stand up in chair"
IF David Davis should cross the
ocean, the stewards might not avoid
him, but they would be apt to give him
vide berth.--BOs. Com. Bulletin.
AT medical examination young as
pirant for physicians diploma was
asked: When does modification en-
sue? When you propose and are re-
Jected."
The difference between long and
short yarn is very we'll illustrated by the
difference OF ones feelings in holding a
skein for ones grandmother or for ones
sweetheart.
The Chicago critics who praised the
astounding agility displayed by ballot
dancer didn't know that she had acct
dentally dressed hornet into her clothes.
Boston Post.
SENATOR TABOR, of Colorado, rising
to make his maiden speech the other
day, said: MIR President, I am paired
with the gentleman from Hampton, Mr..
South Carolina"
The man who will invent a seal-skin
will gain the everlasting regard of thou
women. THE Drummer.
IT is easy enough to figure that In So
900 years more the world won't hold it's
population, but are not the doctors 60
ing to keep right OF reducing the popu-
lation ?-DetrOit free Press.
A LADY leaving home was thus adj
dressed by her little boy: mamma,
will you remember and buy me penny
whistle? And let it be a religious one,
so that [ can use it on Sunday"
The people Of Cincinnati, Louisville,
etc., should through few Congressional
Records on the Ohio. They are heavy
enough and dry enough to absorb al
most any food.-CyeUeIG9ad Leader.
A CALCULATION shows that Dundee
spinner must spin sixty miles OF yarn to
earn s.. Almost any country store can
produce men that will spin alonger yarn
for nothing. P5ttsburg Telegraph.
DAVID DAVIS is no longer on the
fence. He is about to marry Miss
Burr, aged 35, and a small brunette.
After that d. Davis will no longer be the
independent party.-LoaOeU Courier.
EYES, sir, said the wood dealer, /" I
prefer to sell woo0 to men who do their
own saving You can't convince man
who has worked all day at wood pile
that there isn't full cord of it, BoS-
ton Post.
The report t1at Jim Keene the spec
ulator, had become very poor is denied
He admits that he went to see the Mag
ara Ice bridge, but explains that he took
his own carriage with him. -PhaEadeE-
ohd0 NeWS.
The poultry men had dinner in Wor-
cester last week. We presume they
ended their repast with a little Z" old
Hennessey." = Boston Courier. And
commenced with cocktail, probably
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
A SMALL boy, who was playing truant
the other day, when asked if he wouldn't
get whipping when he got home, re-
piled: What is five minutes licking
to five hours of fun?" There is food for
reflection III this. -The Judge.
A Boston woman has Just completed
a $4,000 mansion entirely out of the
proceeds from the sale of doughnuts.
Our slangy contributor thinks she must
have had the kind of customers that
took the cake. "-NorrjStoaO9t Herald.
A PARTY of men never so deeply SYM
pathize with another person as they do
with companion while he is telling
story which they all know by heart, but
which he thinks they have never heard,
and they pretend they haven't. -Puck.
COLONEL, said man who wanted
to make out genealogical tree" Col
onel, how can become thoroughly ac-
quainted with my family history %
f" Strictly by running for office" an
swered the colonel. The american
Queen.
AFTER the service at Bingley Hall the
other evening man was seen on his
knees beside one of the seats. To him
went one of the "lights -" Friend, are
you seeking salvation % Salvation be
blowedl I'm looking for my hat. >
Birmingham (Eng.) OwI.
A SAILOR dropped out of the rigging
of sh1p-of-war, some fifteen or twenty
feet, and fell plump on the head of the
first lieutenant. Wretch" said the |