Weekly Phoenix herald., 1883-04-26
THE BAD hoy
He and his Pa Make a Visit 60
the Exposition.
milwaukee sun.I


house for this morHingY asked the
froceryman. as your ma sick ?''
mo, ma is worth two in the bush.
It's pa that amt we'll. He's having
some trouble with his digestion.
You see, he went to the exposition
with me as guide, and that's enough
to ruin any mans digestion. Pa is
near-sighted, and he said he wanted
me TO go along and show him the
things. We'll, 1 never bad such fun
since pa fell out of the boat. First,
made HIM jump clear across the
aisle, there where the stuffed tigers
are, in the fur place. l told him
that the keeper was Just coming in
with some fresh meat to feed TIE
animals, and that when they smelled
the meat they just clawed things.
He ran against u showcase, and then
wanted to go away. He said he trav-
elled with a circus when he was
young, and that no one knew the
danger of fooling around wild ami
mails better than he did. We'll, you
would have died to see pa there by
the furniture place, where they have
such beautiful chairs and beds.
There was one blue chair, under
glass case all velvet, ahd sign was
over it telling folks to keep their
hands off. Pa asked me what the
sign was, and told him it said It.
dies and gentlemen are requested to
sit in the chairs and try them. Pa
climbed over the railing and was
Just going 10 sit down on the glass
showcase over the chair, when one
of the walk-aronnd fellows with
police hats, took him by the collar,
and yanked him back over the rail-
Ing and was going to kick pas pants
Pa was mad to have his ceat-collar
pulled up over his head and at hav-
ing the set of his coat spoiled, and
he was going to sass the man, when
1 told pa that the man was lunatic
from the asylum, who was on exhibi-
ton, and pa wanted to go away
from there. He said he didn't know
what they wanted to exhibit lunatics
for. We went upstairs to the pam
cake bazar, where they broil pan
cakes out of self rising flour and
give them away. with butter and su
gar on them. Pa said he coul eat
more pancakes than any other man
out of Jail and wanted me to get
him. took a couple of pancakes
and tore out piece of the lining of
my coat and put it between the pam
cakes and handed them to pa, with
paper round the pancakes, Pa
didn't notice the paper OF the cloth,
and it would have made you laugh
to see pa chew on them pancakes.s l
told him 1 guessed he didn't have as
good teeth as he used 10, and he said
Never you mind the teeth and he
kept on till he had swallowed the
whole business, but he said he
guessed he didn't want any more.
But thought 1 would split when
pa wanted drink of water. asked
him if he would ruther have q drink
of mineral water, and he said it
would take the strongest kind of
mineral water to wash down them
pancakes; so I took him to- where
the FIRE cxtinguishers are and got
him to take the nozzle of the extin
guisher in his mouth, and l turned
the faucet, ! don't think he got
more than quart of the saleratus
water down him, but he rared up
and said he'd be condamned if he
believed that water was ever intend
ed to drink, and he felt as if he
should bust; and just then the man
who kicks the big organ struck up,
and the building shook. and 1 guess
pa thought he had busted. The
most fun was when we came along
wher the wax woman is. They have
got wax woman dressed up to kill,
ard she locks Just as natural as If she
could breathe. She has q handker-
chief IN her hand, and as we came
alorg told pa that there was a lady
who seemed to know him. Pa is on
the mash hisself, and he looked at
her and smiled, and said good even.
ing, aud asked me who she was. I
told him it looked to me like the
girl that sings in the choir at orr
church, and pa said of course 1t is,
and we went right in where she was.
Pretty good show isn't it?' and put
out his hand to shake hands with
her, but the woman who tends the
stand came along and thought pa
was drunk and said, odd gentleman.
I guess you had better get out of
here; this is for ladies only Pa ex-
cused himself to the wax woman,
and said he would see her later"
-
A relic of the days when another
race ruled and had dominion in what