The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1883-08-09
WAR sIO4IEs.
One OF which Tells why u Union CoIont
Wasn't shut out of u Cannon.

LOutsrite Commercial.
Three noble heroes Of the late war me
night before last, and held a little reunion
all by themselves. The three heroes wert
Maj. Ed. Hughes, Col. Richard Watts anc
Capt. Eli Marks. Many were the thrilling
stories told Of Individual adventures with
the enemy during the mighty conflict
Col. Watts led of with a blood curdling
tale Of his narrow escape from u horrible
fate.
SIT was Just before the battle Of Shiloh
said the Colonel, "when | was engaged
carrying dispatches from our division to
another located about one hundred miles
south Of us. Every p%recaution had been ia.
ken TO head off all communication, and the
greatest care had to be exercised in keep.
ing dispatches and the kesscreted, so that
in case OF the carrier being captured moth.
ing OF q tell.tale nature could be found
upon him. When | entered the scouting
service, I had four Of my front teeth
knocked out and had them replaced by false
ones. These were followed out behind
dlu dhulktGh Va q kOoA7GlASN DAG6ndEG uG-
ing secreted therein.
son the trip that l started out to tell
about, l had my dispatch secreted as usual,
aud was riding along peacefully in the dis
guise OF a farmer going 10 the mill, when |
was suddenly surprised by the enemy. l
pretended to be very much enraged at
them making me their prisoner, but there
was no getting out Of it, for they had kinder
dropped ON me. They proceeded to search
me and compelled me to take of every
stitch Of clothing. These they ripped up
into ribbons, but Of course they found
nothirg and | was beginning to feel safe,
when, standing before then there perfectly
nude, one OF the id fellows stepped up
to me and slapping me on the back, said:
Amt he fat? He'd make good beef
The slap was SO vigorous and unexpected
that out popped my false teeth. That
settled it. The Jig was up and l began
contemplating my fate. Seventeen men
jumped for those false teeth at the same
time, and it didn't take long Tor them to
find the dispatch, which read Send us
100000 men at once SO you were on your
way Tor reiAforcements, were you? p said a
big, red-nosed captain, sneeringly.. We'll,
we'll just help you along on your journey.
Bring up that mortar!' Great God, thought
/, they certainly don't intend 10 blow me
10 pieces. The mortar wal brought up
and planted and pointed 10 the direction
in which | had been travelling. Double
charge her, and stick this fellow in head
first said the captain. They double
charged her and then forced me in head
tirst. Vivid recollections Of everything
mean that l had ever done in my life fitted
across my mind, and, boys, l actually
prayed. But while | prayed | felt them
ramming the charge home, and | col.
cluded that my prayers were OF NJ avail.
II smelled the powder right in front Of
me, and a happy thought struck me.
Something told me TO eat the powder, and
| began on 1t. At every jam Of the ram
rod lswallowed an exlra-Sized mouthiul,
aud when the Examining ceased | could see
daylight through the touch hole. A fuse
was inserted and touched Of, and no doubt
the finds retreated to q safe dis
lance to watch my fight into Al.
ALBANIA. l heard the fuse sizzling as the
fire drew nearer me, but | felt cafe, for not
q grain OF powder had l left lying around
loose. The fuse went cut with q sudden
squirt andI felt that my life had been sav.
ed. The would.be murderers couldn't I'm.
derstand why tie gun missed fire, and
they began drawing the charge to see what
allied her. Just about the time they got me
out alot Of our cavalry charged npon them
and l was saved; but, boys, I'll be id II
1 can't tasle that saltpe,re and sulphur to
this day."
"Why, there's nothing so very remarka.
BILE about that story" said Capt Marks. 1T
simply illustrates the Coointss and pres.
nee Of mind OF our worthy comade."
"Yes, but the idea Of a man eating a key
or two Of powder all at one meal" remark
ed Maj. Hughes.
"Why, that's nothing" retorled Marks.
II saw a man eat up q whole baker.shop
one day. Ill tell you how it was: We
we're camping up in the mountains, when
one day a pie and cake peddler made bis
appearance with a whole wagon log OF pas.
try. Stories had been circulated that these
peddlers were In the habit OF poisoning
their pies, thus making the men who ate
them sick and unfit for service. There was
an officer in our command who had been
LAYING for one OF thoss pie.peddlers, and
no sooner did the poor fellow strike the
camp than he wa surrounded by a'squad
of Infantry, and in lesg than no time about
twenty cooked muskets were pointed at big
head. You've got to eat everything you've
got in that wagon yourseli,' commanded
the officer. Refuse, il you desire, and
twenty minnie balls at close range will be
your fate.' The peddler turned pale, but
he saw determination in the eye OF the OH.
Ger, and he commenced his feast. l kept
tally on a fence rail with a piece Of dry clay,
md | Eope that Leonatus won't win the
Omnibus stake at Long Branch II that fell
low didn't get away with S49 pies"