Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1883-12-05
'RAH FOR KEMPLE.
Have tho Days Of Knight Errantry
Come Again.
The Nail City HVmais, ADMINISTERS a
Thsshieg to Rural Black
guard ia an 0aio
Towr.

A we'll authenticated instance OF the
display Of gsllsntry, bravery and physical
courage of ColoneI Jake Kemple comes to
Us from one OF the interior towns Of Ohio
The affair is related by q couple OF dram-
mers who witnessed il.
The c. done! had been lecturing in the
town the night previous and had come 70
the station to take the train to his next en-
gagemenL iKemple dossa't walk now
The station WAS q small institution, ticket
Office, express Office and waiting room all in
one. Lsdies, gentlemen, children, satchsls,
grip sacks, etc, al standing or sitting
around promiscuously.
THE STATION
Was in charge OF 3 boy who wss asked, on
an average of forty times q minute, How
soon will she be here Among the usual
number of curious town bummers, idiers
sa6 loafeIs who go to the train three hun
cred and sixty five days in the year and
four or five time day, was one who vas
oalIng the ladies. four or five in number
squirting tobacco juice on the stove, and
induleing in the most yulgsr aud profsne
remarks, disgusting and offensive, espec-
tally to the ladies. The bum had just
fred another yolley Of profanity a; the
crowd and tobacco at the stove, when
Kemple, who had been
WATCHING AsD LIsTESISG,
Quietly approached him the vulgsriaul and
with ore OF his blandest smiles said, in
patronizing way:
Young fellow, I admire your fresh,
Gorcible manner and style of talking; there
is quaint originality IN it which these I'M
tutored people don't understand or appre-
ciste. do: delight to hear you talk; l
am charmed; could listen TO you ali win
ter il hsd time, aud as q slight evidence
OF nv regard will tell you funny story;
il will keep you laughing for week; Just
come out on The platform and hesr; don t
Want 10
GIVE II AWAY - THE CGoSD.
Kemple and the village profane historian
stepped out upon the platform, follow
by several gentlemen who expected 10 hear
o3e OF Jske's psrs!izingIy funny stories.
Hemp.e then began:
"po you live n this neighbOrhood, and
hsve you always lived here
''NoU are right; | have.
Have you a mother and sister
Don't you forget it; have. But wat
has that got 70 90 with the story
"ICu will see when get TO the point Of
the Joke. Are your folks so we'll scquaint.
ed with YOU that they always know you
when you 20 home, and do you use TO them
the same Language as you did in the pres
ence OF the lsdies in the waiting room!
II co when - please.
Then you pride yourself OF being a
tough.
You bet your life I'm good one.
Now. my quaint and curious volume
OF cussedneSs; my rare and radiant BLACK
guard, will tell you the story | called You
out here for. The story is a proposition.
You must 60 into that waiting room,
TAXI oFr YoUR HAT,
snd in an humble. respectful way, say
10 the Ladies that you are sorry 10 have
spoken as you did in the presence OF ladies,
snd that you will never DO so again, and
tina; you will stop losting and try TO make
q gentleman OF yourself
The fellow glarsd at the corpulent
bCmcrist and said:
I'm see you in h. FIST.
You'll see enough OF me right here
Then JAke's
BIC VAT FIST
went oUt straight from the shoulder twice
and the fellow fe i as il mule had kicked
him with both feet at once. and before he
could regain his feet kemple had him by
tie collar, dragged him 10 the end OF the
platform and kicked him of. He was
hustled by swiichmsn as he was prepsr.
ing TO bonbsrd kemple's corporation with
stones and scrap iron. At this iuncture
the train arrived, all passengers got ABOARD
srd The West Virginia HUmorist' was
the hero OF the hour.