Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-04-04

- AAssAS gu 'AoAsAAS 4tiaS0id "isA hSi
father, and seeing the foam at the foot Of
the falls, exclaimed " Pa, how much soap
it must take to make so much suds!"
We often hear the expression that 81 the
fire has gone out" And it is said that in
some of our large places you can actually
see the fire escape. Il Marathon Indepen.
dent.
Country yokel Ito his son, at concert,
during the performance of duet)-"
see, Tom, now it's getting late they re
singing two at time, SO as to get done
sooner"
A fund for an American Catholic Uni.
versity has been started in Chicago, and
Bishop Spalding has gone to Rome to con-
suit the Pope as to its establishment in
that city. The fund amounts to $500, OOO
On the 10th of last month smells were
in go great abundance in the Columbia
that they had to be given away. When
railroad facilities are completed the wealth
of the river other than salmon will be dis
tributed.
A halibut Of 2974 pounds has been ex-
hibited IN the London markets. Yarrel
n antions one caught off the Isle of Man
which weighed 800 pounds. Fish of about
the same weight have been taken off the
American coast.
Frederick Billings, of Woodstock, who
purchased the library of the late George P.
Marsh for SIS, 900 and presented it to the
University OF Vermont, has now given that
institution SIS, 600 for the erection of a
library building.
Mammal Tenbart inanrisona5 a. Na,.,,,c,o
Michigan, for murder, heard the sound of
jewellers enjoying dance in an adjacent
building Thursday night, and, believing it
was party intent on lynching him, died
in his cell of fright.
Secretary Frelinghuysen has asked the
German Government that Commission of
German experts come over here, and ex-
anime our standard pork before the au.
thorities carry out their threat of prohibit.
ing its importation into Germany.
"How do you like my waffles ?" asked
a city belle of her guest. "Could not be
nicer, )" was the reply. "Did you really
make these yourself ?" Ooh, yes, indeed.
1 read off the receipt to the cook and
turned the patent four-aifter all by my.
self.
A safe guard-Subaltern meier, when
you are on guard at the powder magazine
and man passes smoking cigar, what
do you do?" Meier "Shout to him to
throw it away" Subaltern "And then ?"
Meier: "Pd pick it up and smoke the rest
of it myself"
Mrs. Sanford, the wife OF General San
ford, of Florida, has presented the Episco.
pal Church in Sanford with the spire from
q church at Ecloo, in Flanders. The spire
ia topped with westhercock, wherein is
placed the dste "l57l, when the Ecloo
church was built.
| would not have him to act with me
who will unarmed attack tiger, or cross
river without boat, dying without any
regret. My associate must be the man
who proceeds to action full of solicitude,
who is fond of adjusting his plans, and
then carries them into execution.-[Co Con.
fucius.
Florence Dixie, diminutive lass, nine
years old, disappeared lately from her
home in New York. Her family were
greatly alarmed, but the youngster has
been discovered at the house of friend,
where she demanded admittance by
tictitiously stating that there was no room
for her at home.
When California shippers pack sixteen
ounces of butter in pound package, in,
stead of the fourteen ounces now given,
Arizona will recognize slight inclination
on the part of her cast neighbor to merit
the continuance OF the food of patronage
that now stands good chance of being d.
vided with Eastern cities and Sonora =
Tucson Citizen.
"Yes, brethren" said preacher from
his pulpit, "you are the passengers on
train speeding its straight and mar.
row way to glory and am the con-
ductor of that train, thank the Lord. +"
"You run her frst-class, 1 should say"
remarked stranger, looking over the con.
gregation, g from the number of sleepers
you're hauling"
About Sc 600 has been expended
upon the Beardsley canal, extending on
the north side of the river, in its en-.
largement. 1t has been made 20 feet wide
on the bottom, and in every way improved,
making it one of the most valuable prop
critics in the county. It is controlled by
the farmers along its line, who will make
| it do good service this season. -IKern
County Gazette.
Mrs. Lille Deyereaux Blake describes
| woman as 6 the grand browning act of crea
tive power" That about hits her off. But
nobody can really appreciate how grand
she is until he goes fishing with her.
When silly fish becomes entangled in her
hook does she pull it right in without any
noise or nonsense? No; she is too grand
for that. She simply sits down on the rod
and yells for some man to come and haul
the horrid thing ashore. Brooklyn Eagle.
A New York gentleman whose niece
playfully dipped her spoon into his coffee
cup and slipped few drops, jestingly re-
proved her. +" You mustn't do that" said
ne, and then added: "What Bible oharac.
ter do you resemble in that act?' "Give
it up" Balaam, bail 'em, of course. %
Then some one unfortunately asked, sand
why is she like BALKAN, pray ?" The young
lady herself replied, swell, / can't con.
ceive, unless because Balaam was reproved
by an ass"
Hon. F. J. Sullivan, State Senator from
the Thirteenth District, has donated his
entire salary as Senator to be equally dis.
tri5uted between the Protestant, Catholic
and Hebrew Orphan Asylums. A very
wise and generous act on his part, and one
that commends itself to the emulation of
his colleagues, many of whom doubtlessly
realize that the services of the last Legis.
lature are not of sufficient value to war.
rant them in retaining the public money
1.-THE Occident.
1.-THE brutal murder at Watertown," we
say. Why brutal Can any of us who use
the adjectives in this connection name the
species of brute among which assassina-
tions of this atrocious character are prac-
ticed? Animals fight, and kill, and ca.
their victims, to be sure, but we know of
none that do not kill in the quickest,
surest and most painless way which their
instincts suggest. Man alone among ami
mate nature, so far as we have learned,
mangles, TEXTURES and outrages tee object
of his ferocity. However, it ia pleasing
fiction that the most barbarous deeds of
our kind are unmanlike, and belong to the
brute order. The brutes do not read, and
cannot sue us for libel. So let US keep it
up. 1t was very brutal murder. -[Bos-
ton Traveller.
In neighboring city where the in
habitants are SO very, very temperate that
many of them Neal Down to say their
prayers, good old deacon of colored
church lately called upon the CITY agent