The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1883-05-12
Lincoln County Leader.
Saturday. May ~, 1883.
Very Queer, Indeed.

.
the other day of the marriage of n
woman in England who was born
without arms, but who can use her
toes with remarkable dexterity.
She can sew, knit, crochet, use a
knife and fork and scratch her head
with her toes with as much ease
as more fortunate mortals can with
their fingers.
After reading the article we
learned back in our easy chair,
closed our eyes and allowed our
thought to go off on an excursion
across the water. We followed
that girl from the day when she
first shared a beaux until her mar
riage, and some of the mental pic
lures we drew were indeed queer
one When her lover would call,
of course she must receive him as
other ladies would, and just
imagine how odd it would be to
see her reaching up her foot, taking
his hat between her toes, placing
itupon the table and motioning
him TO a scat. She would sit by
his side talking all the little non
sensical nothings that lovers
usually talk, ever and anon slap
ping him lovingly on the cheek
with the sole Of her foot when he
would get off some Joke at her
expense. She spies a hair on his
collar, and with a deXterity closely
bordering ON the marvellous, reach
ing up with witching grace, takes
it in her toes and casts it away.
We can see her sitting there with
her foot in his hand responding to
his tender squeezes, or coyly toy
ing with his whiskers with her
taper toes. Mayhap he may hint
that he doubts her c%onstancy, when
with an injured look upon her fair
face she puts her foot on her heart
and assures him that it beats only
for him, that at every p~ulsation
the bounding blood murmurs his
beloved name. Then he smiles,
takes the lovely foot in his hand,
kisses it fondly and assures her
that he was but testing, and that
he would as soon doubt the purity
of babe as to doubt her love. If
his necktie became loosened how
gracefully she would tie it with
both feet, tapping the tie down
neatly with q big toe when the job
was completed. We car picture
her screaming with laughter and
clapping her feet in glee " some
funny story, or wiping away the
unbiddcn tear with her toes at a
recital Of want and suffering.
When about to part he would kiss
her and ask for just one loving en-
brace, and with the light of love
beaming in her eyes she would
but no, that is out of the question.
We forgot for a moment her un-
fortunate condition. He would
have to do all the embracing him
self. She would hand him his hat,
escort him to the door, give him a
goodnight shake of the foot and
then sit down by the tire and draw
a beautiful picture of the day when
he would fall upon his knees before
her and ask her for her foot and
heart. Then she would retire to
her chamber, undress, SIT down on
the floor and bury her face in hel
feet and say her prayers as all
good girls should, and go to bed
to dream of a future frescoed with
bliss and dadoed with supreme
happiness.
And the marriage ceremony
OF course the bride could not enter
leaning upon the arm of the groom
as is customary, for it would be
unique and odd to see her hopping
in on one foot, and she might at
tract undue attention. They APP
proach the alter and the ceremony
ban;no Whom riuht hands or,