The Russellville Democrat. [volume] (Russellville, Ark.) 1875-1898, 1883-05-03

A first class affair-Graduation.-
Baltimore Sun.
BARRIERS regular dye it: Hair
Boston Star.
Quick sells AMI small prophets
The weather prognosticators.-Ha Har-
lem Times.
Retiring to private life: An officer
when reduced to the ranks.-Boston
Star.
The donkey never suffers from
softcning OF the brayin'.-New Or
leans Picayune.
1t is at the quilting "bee" where
you hear the stinging remark. New
York News.
An organ grinder is not the archi-
tect of his own four-tunes.--New
York Advertiser.
There will be bull movement as
soon as fly time sets in.-Boston
Commercial Bulletin.
Epitaph for dead oarsman: sThis
was the noblest row-man of them
all. Baltimore Sun.
The Egyptians little oil pun
When was Cairo seen in darkness?-
NY York Advertiser.
To doctors: Any patient worth
knowing is worth knowing WE'LL
New Orleans Picayune.
A black bare-a Hottentot.
Against the grain--rust and rats.
a miss iit-hysterics. Life.
OFF on teer-The tail of coat.
Out at til bow-A disconnect-
ed stove. .pipe.--Harem Times.
At this season of the year the sub
mlsslye spouse is simply a tacks
gatherer. New York Advertiser.
Oscillation is the art of hitting tb >
popular taste, and it is mostly hit
viii Miss.-Ncw York News.
We think we can cure bad case
of backache quicker with one of
Carter's Smart Weed and BeIladonna
Backache Plasters than by any other
application, and after the backache
is cured, you can still wear the plas
ter without discomfort for two or
three weeks or longer. This com
bination of Smart Weed and Bella
donna is rreat hit, and it is hard
to find any ache or pain that will
not yield to it. Price 25 cents. Sold
by Harkey.
The work an unknown good man
has done is like vein of water flow
ing hidden underground, secretly
making the ground green. 1t flows
and flows and joins itself with other
veins and veinlets; and one day it
will start forth as visible perennial
well.
Some people are like well used
rocking chair; they are always on
the go, but never get ahead. .--Bos-
Ton transcript.
1t is said that history repeats it.
self. In this respect a man at the
telephone resembles history.--New
York Advertiser.
If ship wants to auction
off his vessel he should not put to
sea in a storm. He might lose the
sail.-New York News.
A Nebraska man refused to marry
q girl because she powdered. He
couldn't let himself down to her pale.
Philadelphia Herald.
Isn't it little paradoxica! to
speak OF man as a crank when he
is so set in his mind that you can't
turn hlmf-Boston Transcript.
The "Readhead Ducks" on the
Princeton dinner menu must be the
kind of Reading that "maketh full
man" ."--Only joke of New York
Post.
On the street: II understand that
you own great many houses and
small farms in the suburbs" "Yes." I"
"Do you live on any of them" "No."
"Then you don't raise anythingW
"Oh, yes; everv spring | raise rents" +"
Philadelphia News.
A German went to friend and
said: "To-morrow / owe you $780,
600. / am red. | cannot pay it,
and ! cannot snleep wink" The
creditor said: Wy didn't you vait to
dell me to morrow Now neither can
! sh!eep wink. New York Herald
1t seems necessary to explain 8
passage in the Rev. ]. Hyatt Smiths
letter IN which he says: 81 hold The
key of the position of the future
NJ. Smith had no intention OF con
ve,ing the idea that st. Peter hac
resigned his office. Brooklyn Eagle