Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-06-02
Saturday Smiles.

Mr.. William Nye says of the car: 'Id rather
he should be corOner-ated than IL
Under the head of 'society News" rural
paper of Arkansas says: "Major Jack Muggle,
goods at Black Fork, and who recently married
the beautiful and accomplished Miss Higtores,
Yesterday shot and killed Col. Blowgill, gem
tleman of much merit in business, but a trifle
slow in society. ''-Arkansaw fraceRer.
Col. Seek-No-Further Haskins desired to call
up the case of Prof Candid Jackson, of Indiana,
who last winter contracted to predict fine
weather for the club. He was base deceiyer
and not one out of ten of his predictions had
been verified. The Colonel could not see why
the club should pay cash to a prophet to pre-
dict warm, hazy weather for the I'd of May
and have the day turn out 30 cold that over
coats were needed and wash-tubs froze up
Again, he predicted whirlwind for the 5th of
May. and the day proved as calm as a baby
going to sleep under the lounge. The colored
men who had been to the expense and trouble of
claiming down their cabins were disguised The
Colonel would move that the false prophet be
discharged. and the motion was carried by a
vote of 134 to 14.-DetroI Free Press.
Sounds from the consulting room: Chow long
will 1t take you to cure me, dOctOr?" swell,
Mr.. --. think you can get back to your
desk at the bank in about month. but you will
have to remain under treatment for several
years" "But you mistake; am not Mr.. --,
the banker, but Mr.. -, the letter-carrier"
''Oh. that alters the case. There is nothing the
matter with you but little biliousness. You
will be well in month"
lit is said that the greatest dread of gam
bier is that he will be paralyzed." And one of
the times when he Is ''paralyzed" is when he
bets 81 600 on four kings and an ace and the
other fellow throws down four ace. and king
NO,ris:O,rn Journal.
This is the season OF the year when the woman
who has not been able to buy a new parlor car
pet gets back on her neighbOrs who did, by
having the woodwork on the front of the house
reprinted SO as to make the adjoining dwellings
look mean and dingy.- Philadelphia Ne,cs.
A man in the central office of the telephone
company says that the noise there is different
from young lady at party, for one is a ball
room belle and the other is bell room bawl-
Pansb,ug Telegraph.
Il have been married for several weeks, and
my husband and l cannot decide whether we
should retain our old love letters or burn them.
a pasteboard box in the servant girls ROOM
supply OF old love letters has been known to
keep girl contented in one place for three
months at a time.-Erchange.
When Louisville girl comes to the conclusion
to have nothing to do with her beau she figures
up the amount he has expended on her for ice
cream and candy and buggy riding and sends
him certified check for the sum total. That's
business.-Detr0it Free Press.
A young lady should never visit restaurant
after the opera or theater alone with a male
companion. She should always have young
lady friend with her, even if it does stick the
young man for five dollars extra. Etiquette
must be observed. Cincinnati Enquirer.
''Pschutt," we are told, is the Partisan for
ldude, F" and It's very lucky this is announced,
for now the dudes can call each other pschutts
and give the impression that they've been
abroad.-BOston Post
Mary Anderson says that for her part she
"a dvyin la IL
ject to being kissed by men. If she knows any
thing about it they are just the parties for the
business.-Grdphic
''Yes," said the Chicago man, she's dude.
but he counts In the census; don't let him be
killed."-Boston Post.
Signs Of Summer: When the keeper Of the
rural hotel purchases new fag.-Wlen the
man IN the country nails up his thermometer on
the front stoOp.-When men dare each other to
wear hammock hats and flannel shirts on Broad
way.-When the young lady begins to swing in
q hammock and read novels on The front stoOp.-
order to be sent to Europe for his health
When the enterprising morning daily prints the
recipe for the champion cholera cure double
leaded.-Whent the COW bursts ruthlessly through
the garden gate ard tramples upon the mignOn-
nette and cOleus.-When the city residents re-
ceive from relatives In the country punches of
wild flowers done up in collar boxes
When coal becomes so cheap that the man
with money enough ahead thinks It the
proper time to lay in winter supply-When
the gas more than once . week, but receive
larger gas-bills than ever.-When the peddler
Of wire screens comes around and offers to at
them into any window, while he denounces mos
quito-netting When the confectioper adver-
tises ice-cream at rates that place it within the
reach of all Sunday schools that purpose giving
picnics. the old Shanghai rooster has
one Of his wings cut, that he may not fly out Of