Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-10-26
BRIGHT BITS.

GLOW to obtain the life beyond" is the
title az a 50-cent book. We will tell you
for a cent. Eat burlington
Hdtokeye.
IT was. of course, misprint, when a
Rochester paper referred to the "ChrIstlan
Poker Almanac" 1t meant pocket, oil
course Detroit Free Press.
\ CORNETIsT in AnsoRia was stung on
the hand by a hornet while he was play
ing his cOrnet in church last sunday. "A
deacon rose up and thanked the hornet
Boston Post.
A MAN. lately married, was asked at
the club about his bride: ''Is she pref
tvy" "NO,v replied he; ''she is not; but
she will be when her father dies. linden
tined Exchange.
AN awkward complimentary be-
| tween the dances): Il remember my hrst
ball as if it were only yesterday Her
partner: s'Dear me, what wonderful
memory the lady must have"
IT is authoritatively said, all state
ments to the contrary notwithstanding,
that Longfellow got his inspiration for
'sThe skeleton in Amor while viewing
the ladies in bathing at Newport.-Ihe
Judge.
MILKMAN Ito small boy): "Tell your
mother she'll have to pay ready money for
| milk after this. amt going to chalk up
any more" Small boy: "What are you
| going to use instead of chalk, Mr..
| Granger
LIGHT-MINDED young thing in bath
ing suit: ''Surely, Aunt Margaret, you're
not going to wear your spectacles IN the
water?" Aunt Margaret-"Indeed am.
| Nothing shall induce me to take OIL an
other thing"
THE human race consumes 100000
| ht1t no
| Kentucky gentlemen have this year
| stopped chewing, the report for 1885 may
| show a considerable decline.-LOutSUute
| CourieT-JouFndl.
AN Akron, O., burglar cracks cup
boards for custard pie. His depraved
| taste shows that he has never belonged to
the Jumper crust" of society, and that the
custody of the law possesses no terrors
for him.-NelC York Morning JONrhdt
The greatest nuisance of any country
is the neglected grave hunter. These peo-
pie ale always reporting for publication
that somebody's grave is being neglected,
and thew tell only enough truth to make
relatives mserable.-Netr orleans Picd-
yune.
ION MYv' said an old lady who fell
out of bed in Boston hotel night before
last: ''I've hurt the exterior of my spinal
column" Good enough mean, by
gracious!' said her husband, sitting bolt
upright in bed, ''we'll sue the proprietor
for damages. "-HOtel Nal.
Glow are you and your wife cummin'
on?" asked a West Point man of c0lOred
man. "She has run me off, boss. is to
blame, boss. | gave her II splendid white
silk dress, and den she got so proud she
had no use for me. She Flowed | was too
dark to match the So West Point
Ga. Enterprise.
WOMAN, with dog jumping at her, to
Professor, owner of the animal: "For
Heavens sake, man, call your dog off, or
he will upset me-" Professor, standing
on one foot and scratching his head ::
lone minute, madam, one minute; Ito
himself as soon as can remember the in
fernal brute's name"
CAN'T live without her. he said to his
legal adviser, land am sure that away
down in her heart she has little feeling
for me. / am going to test her." He
pulled out pistol and said, Il am going
to her with this and say. Here, shoot me
down; | don't care to live any more F"
sYOu had better not" said the cautious
legal man; ''she might pull the trigger"
Il don't care for that; | have filled the
weapon with blank cartridges