davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04
DON'T BE IN A HURRY.

Don't be in hurry
To answer yes or no;
Nothing's lost by being
Reasonably slow.
In hasty moment
You may give consent,
And through years of torment
Leisurely repent.
If lover seeks you
To become his wife,
Happiness or misery
May be yours for life.
Don't be in hurry
Your feelings to confess,
But think the matter over
Before you answer yes.
Should one ask forgiveness
For grave offence,
Honest tears betraying
Earnest penitenee,
Pity and console him,
And his fears allay,
And don't be in hurry
To drive the child away.
Hurry brings US worry,
Worry wears us out,
Easy-going people
Know what they're about.
Needless haste will bring US
Surely to the ditch,
And trouble overwhelm us
If we hurry to be rich.
Don't be in hurry
To throw yourself away,
By the side of wisdom
For a while delay.
Make your life worth living.
Nobly act your part.
And don't be in hurry
To spoil 1t at the start.
Don't be in hurry
To speak an angry word;
Don't be in hurry
To spread the tale you've heard;
Don't be in hurry
With evil ones to go;
And don't be in hurry
To answer yes or no.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04
For the Monitor
TRIALS OF A DRUGGIST.

To have peace with drunken man
it is often necessary to crafty his
whims. This can be done many
times, when we take into considera-
ton that the reasoning faculties of
such men are generally as foggy as a
September morning. [ will relate
one instance in which, by yielding to
the wishes of a drunken man, / pre-
pared him a mixture that ''Hit the
right spot,
One summer evening, a large, bur-
ly fellow, considerably intoxicated
entered my store, walked up to the
counter in front of me and called for
brandy. My refusal seemed to ex-
asperate him to such an extent, that,
Jove like, he began to scatter chain
lightning in every direction and I
begun to wish / could find some hole
in which, like a partridge, | might
stick my head and feel out of danger.
The room soon filled up with specta-
tors all of whom became interested
in watching the symptoms of this great
storm. 1 maintained my position
against his thunderbolts until, one
spectator more thoughtful than my
self slyly intimated that l might palm
off medicated water, and he would
never know the difference. / grasp
ed that man by the hand, and with
tears in my eyes, told him he was
trump.
"You say you want some brandy?"
I asked, addressing the burly man.
eyes, that was what 1 said; and
l can back it up every time
''But l shall have 10 medicate it
can't let you have it clear, you
know?'
"Medicate and be hanged. Put
in pizen, though, and I'm down on
you like gunboat; yes, sir, and [
can back it up every time
Stepping into recess, 1 turned a
little blackberry and jamaica ginger
into tumbler, added a quantity of
bitter, filed it up with water, return
ed to the counter and handed him the
mixture, saying:
ssYou will find it a little bitter !;
but it is the best | can do
He took the tumbler, swallowed
the contents at one gulp, smacked
his lips, and while / stood shivering
over the consequences, he set down
the glass, and said:
"That's hit the right spot, mister.
Never saw liquor that l couldn't tell
its quality in second. That bran
dy's got the edge-yes, sir-its got
the zip right in it; and | don't care
if l take another glass;
Amid the universal smiles of those
around, all of whom were now ac-
quainted with the joke, l prepared
him another mixture, the same which
he took down with apparent good
relish, and continued:
eyes, sir, that brandy's hit the
right spot. Can feel it all through
me, clean down to the end of my
toes. When man tells me that /
don't know good liquor, | say" here
he turned and addressed the crowd
81 say that mans a liar; and I can
back it up every time
As no one felt like disputing hin
he turned to me and said: elk uE
bottle of that and I'm off. Some
of the same, remember, or else I'm
down on you like a whirlwind; yes
sir, am-and / can back it up every
time"
Under the circumstances l prepar
ed him bottle of the mixture. III,
paid for it, and after carefully plac
ing it in an inside coat pocket, HI
went out of the door saying:
s'The man who says that ar'n't {
No. 1, superfne good liquor, is
liar; yes, sir-and / can back it VI
every time" DAVID HILL.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04

Says DIR. Jackson: Marriage is no
child's play Very, true, doctor; but
without childs play, married life is a
mighty lonesome one at the best.
ga little too much repose about the
mouth for it to be NATURAL" was the re-
mark Of a husband to West End photo
grapher who had taken his wifes' photo
graph.
A young man who wanted to teach
school in Kansas couldn't tell horizontal
from perpendicular, and when asked what
circular was said it was a sort Of fur-lin-
ed cloak.
"Of course" said Mrs. Rubric, sour
rector conducts the service in English;
but then it is just as grand and inspiring
as Latin; you can't understand a word he
says, you know"
George Alfred Townsend has an income
Of $4,000 year from his writings.
Times change. Ananias was struck dead
for lying. 1t is very evident that Ananias
WAS DOTu GOO SOOu.
A Boston clergymen claims to have
found in the Bible prophetic reference
to Gov. Buffers capacity for muddling
things: "And Benjamin's mess was five
times as much as any of theirs"
"What are you going to do when you
grow up, if you don't know how to ci-
pher?" asked a teacher of slow boy. ''I
am going to be school teacher and make
the boys do the ciphering," was the
reply.
While New York woman was passing
a quarry a blast was fired. When she
| revived after being struck with stone
weighing fifty pounds, the first words she
uttered were: "Good laws! How glad I
am that I didn't have on my new bonnet p
A little four-year-old girl, upon retiring
the other night, began to say her evening
prayer as usual, and after repeating, ''I1
I should die before I wake" paused 6
| moment and added stWhat a rumpus
there would be in this housed" Then she
recited the concluding lines of prayer ant
scrambled into bed.
Lawyer-"You say you made an exami
nation of the premises. What did yol
find? Witness-s'O, nothing of conse
quence; a beggarly account Of empt,
boxes as Shakespeare says" Lawyer
''Never mind what Shakespeare said
He will be summoned, and testify TO
himself if he knows anything about tn
case"
''I notice." said one lady to another
''that at our church social gathering
you are always the last one to leave.
81 know it" was the reply, ''but I hav
an object in view" ssWhat is it?" 9
, want to prevent the rest Of you frol
5 slandering me-" go, you mean thing
E you never want to see your friends enjo
!, themselves"
t 81 saw you at the funeral the oth'
o day." said one lady to another. eyes.
!, saw you too" SHOW natural the corps
r lookedl" s'Just like marble" ssI new
heard a more affecting funeral sermo
y did you?" ''Never. And just think
it, when everybody was crying, I reach'
: for my handkerchief and found, to n
horror, that it was red one / had in Il
pocket" s'What did you do?'' "Why
,e s did not cry. How could I, when ever
III body else in the church was using white
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04

No matter how hard it is to find
rocking chair during the day, man
is sure to fall over one when he is IN
search of the match box after dark.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04
YOUR AFFECTIONATE FAITH

cit does beat all what rascality
there is in this world,'' exclaimed
Farmer John, angrily. 'sThe last ton
of soapstone that I bought is so much
adulterated that it is not fit to adul-
terate my butter WITH
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04

An old lady was asked her opinion
about Mrs. Smith, ,hernext-door neigh
Dor. "Well," she said, 81 never
speak ill of anybody, but l feel sorry
for Mr.. Smith. )"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04

A young bride being asked how her
husband turned out, replied that ne
turned out very late in the morning
and turned in very late at night.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04

DIR. Pierce's "Pellets" sugarcoated granules-the
original "lirle liver pills." (beware of imtationsl-
cure sick and bilious headache, cleanse the stomach
and bowels and purify the blood. To get genuine see
DIR. Pierce's signature and portrait on Government
stamp. 25 cents per vial by druggists.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04

If you are ruined in health from any cause, espec-
tally from the use of any of the thousand nostrums
that promise so largely. with long fictitious testmo
nias have no fear. Resort to Hop Bitters at once.
and in short time you win have the most robust and
haa1th
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04

The Romans began their day at
midnight, the Athenians and Jews at
sunset, and the northern nations at
dawn.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04

Rev. D. f. Manly, Tampco, Tenn. says: Browns
Iron Bitters relieved of indigestion and nervous
ness after several physicians had failed.'
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04
WORT
ESTATE OF HARRIS S. BICKFORD.
Comm Motto

LNOUICee
The undersigned, having been appointed by the
Honorable Probate Court for the District of Orleans
Commissioners, to receive, examine and adjust all
claims and demands of all persons against the estate
OF Harris s. BckfOrd, late of Barton in said District
deceased, hereby give notice that will meet for the
purpose of examing and allowing said claims at the
office of W. l. Robinson in Barton, the 18th day of
June and 9th day of October next from o'clock p m.
until O'Clock p. m, each of said days. and that
is the time limited by said Court for said creditors to
present their claims to for examination and allow
ance.
Dated at Barton, this 18th day of Nav A. d. 1888.
2l-29 TW DREW Commlssloners.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04

The following communication is of interest to our
farmers 'Brattleboro. Vt April 8, 1882. Last year
ploughed up poor piece of pasture land and planted
it for fodder using half spoonful of Bradleys
Phosphate in the hill. Instead Of growing fodder
had good crop Of sound corn. In the fall sowed
the piece to rye, and can now see in the rye
where every hill Of was. showing me that Brad
ley's Phosphate lasts more than one year. have
used other fertilizers but consider Bradleys the BEST
Shall use it on potatoes and tobacco this season.
can grow good crop of corn potatoes with Brad
ley's Phosphate without any other manure. Rufus
Scott
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04
ESTATE OF CHAUNCEY G. DROWN.
Notice

The undersigned. having been appointed by the
Honorable Probate Court for the district of Orleans
commissioners TO receive, examine and adjust all
claims and demands of all persons against the estate
of Chauncey G. Drown late of Barton in said Dis
trct, deceased hereby give notice that We VIII meet
for the purpose of examining and allowing said claims
at the office of C. j. Ufford in Barton village
Thursday the 2st day Of June and Thursday the 8th
day OF November next. from 10 o'clock a. m until
O'Clock o. m. each Of said days. and that six months
from the 28th day OF April. A. D. 1888, is the time
limited by SAID Court for said creditors to present
their claims to US for examination and allowance.
Dated at Barton, VT, this 25th day OF May, A ID.
1888.
1924 C. H. DwlNELL. 0'-''''-''.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04
II. E. HARRIS,

ORYSTAL LAKE HOTEL BARTON, VT. HAY
inc leased this hotel for term of years, would
announce to the public that he intends to keep hotel
Which shall deserve respect and patronage. lie mas
Had many years experience in the business and win
Nh owen Delaney very popular and efficient clerk,
ones to retain all former customers and to win neW
be hotel will soon be refurnshed and put in the best
..nssible condition.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04
Vegetine.
Superior to any Family Medicine.
Purifies the Blood, Renovates
and Invigorates the
Whole System.
Alternative, Tonic, Solvent,
and Diuretic.

VEGETINE is made exclusively from the juices of
strongly concentrated that 1t will eectualy eradicate
from the system every tant of ScrOfuIa .Scr0fulOus
HumOr, TumOrs, Cancer, CancerOus Humor,
Erysipelas, Salt Rheum, Syphilitic Diseases,
CanEker, Faintness at the Stomach, and all dis
eases that arise from impure blood Sciatica, In
fammatory and Chronic Rheumatism, Neu-
raIgia, GOut and Spinal Complaints. can only
be efectually cured through the blood.
For Ulcers and Eruptive Diseases of the Skin,
PustuIes, Pimples, BlOtches, BOils, letter,
ScaIdhead and RingwOrm, VEGETINE has never
failed to effect permanent cure.
For Pains in the Back, Kidney Complaints.
DrOpsy. Female Weakness, LeucOrriEGea, aris-
ing from internal liberation and uterine diseases and
General Debility, VEGETINE acts directly upon the
causes of these complaints. 1t invIgorates and
strengthens the whole system acts upon the secreye
organs, allays infamma.ions, ulceratiOns and
regulates the bowels.
For CatarrI, Dyspepsia, Habitual COstive-
ness, PalpitatiHn of the Heart. Headache,
Piles, Nervousness, and General PresfratiOn
of the Nervous System, no medicine has ever
given such perfect satisfaction the VEGETINE. 1t
pures the blood cleanses all of the organs and pos
sesses controlling power over the nervous system.
The remarkable cures effected by VEGETINE have
induced many physicians and apothecaries whom we
know, to prescribe and use it in their own families.
In fact VEGErINE is the best remedy discover
ed for the above diseases, and is the only reliable
BLOOD PURIFIER yet placed before the public.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04
A DEARC0N.

i. NJ. I
3THEOLD DENTIST. MAIN STREET, BARTON
4 VT. All work done in best manner ana war
ranted Gasand Ether used when desired
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04

ENTIST,BAR VT. OFFICE IN ROBIN
ii son,sBlock over Ellis tore. Consultationtree
las and Ether painless EXTRACTION
fteeth Naboliused to preventpa pau in hllingteeth.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04
f. NJ. PERRY,

BURIAL ROBES, C OFF1Ns, ,CAsk-
cts and Furniture, Austin's Block, Barton
LANDING Vt. Hearse provided atfunerals.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04

Rev. Elijah Wilson. Wrightsville, Pa says: Browns
Iron Biters have permanently cured me Of chis and
fever.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-06-04
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
G H, GREEN,

N MANUFACTURER AND DEALER IN FURNI-
NJ ture. .Coffins and Caskets Carpets ,koom "a
per etc. ,Glover,Vt. Ill
Daily globe., 1883-05-28
st. Julien and CLinaStOne.

st. Julien, the mighty son of Volunteer,
is still at the front and eager for the fray.
For any person to say that they will enter
their trotter against any horse, for contest
on the trotting turf, as did the owners of
Cl1ngstone recently, is but to shake the
proverbial red flag in the face of Orrin
Hickok. In communication to the Spirit
of the Times he replys to Mr.. Gordon's of,
fer to trot Clingstone against any horse in
a single handed contest in the following
significant manner:
CHESTER PARK, CINCINNATI, O., May 21.-
1 see in your issue of the 10Th inst, Mr.. W.
j. Gordon claims said he would not trot
Clingstone against st. Julien. He now
says he will trot single-handed against any
horse, but does not say what for. Please
let Mr.. Gordon state when, where, and for
how much money he will trot Clingstone
against st. Julien, mile heats, 8 in 5, to
harness, and I will then think he means
business. Yours, o. A. HICKoK.
A match race between st. Julien and
Clingstone!! Jerusalem! To contem-
plate it starts PERSONS thoughts off at q
2:10 gait. 1t would be a race that would
stand as mile post in the annals of the
trotting turf. 1t is to be hoped that Mr..
Gordon will respond in a manner that Will
insure the meeting of the two great geld
ings face to face at the starting post.
Bring 'em out and trot 'em,
And show their speed and bottom
Daily globe., 1883-05-28
The Bad and Worthless

are never initiated or counterJeited. This is
especially true of family medicine, and it is
positive proof that the remedy initiated is of the
highest value. As soon as it had been tested
and proved by the whole world that Hop Bitters
was the purest, best and most valuable family
medicine on earth, many limitations sprung up
and began to steal the notices in which the press
and people of the country had expressed the
merits of H. B., and in every way trying to
induce suffering invalids to u9e their stuff in
stead, expecting to make money on the credit
and good name of H. B. Many others started
nostrums put I'D in similar style to H. B., with
variously devised names in which the word
Hop" or 'Hops" were used in a way to in
duce people to believe they were the same as
Hop Bitters. All such pretended remedies or
cures, no matter what their style or name is,
and especially those with the word 'Hop'' or
Hops" in their name or in any way connected
with them, or their name, are limitations or
counterfeits. Beware of them. Touch none
~ them. Use nothing but genuine Hop Bit
eaF5, With bunch or cluster of green hops on
tha white Label. Trust nothing else. Druggists
aud dealers are warned against dealing in ini-
taU0la or counterfeits.
Daily globe., 1883-05-28

daughter of Abby Tramp and Black
wood, Jr., is to be bred to him, when sufi-
cient age has been attained, until stall
lion results. In the morning a four-year-
old stallion was hooked for the return
trip. "Plenty of timer" "Oh, yes; make
the drive in thirty minutes; we have got
over an hour" Still L was uneasy, and
mentally cursed the change from the old
Tramp mare. Hastily jumping out at
the depot, asked grim official where
my train was. Deliberately consulting his
watch and rejecting moment, he an
swered, "Just about at Pennington now."
'What! gasped, ''has it gone?" swell,
yes, my friend" with keen enjoyment of
my agony, 81 should remark it had" Then
looking me over, and evidently concluding
that had been out with the boys all night,
he added: $50 to bed early and you will
make it tomorrow" This infiction upon
the readers of the Gazette is the result;
and if they all join in uniting their objur-
gatory vocabulary the result would fall
short of equaling the sulphurous condition
of the atmosphere in my neighborhood for
the past few hours. NJ. T. G.
Daily globe., 1883-05-28
The Northeastern Circuit.

We invite attention to the programmes
OF the Saltwater, Winnipeg and Mime
apolis associations, comprising the North
western circuit, appearing in this issue.
1t will be seen that the classes are we'll ar
ranged to suit home horses, and the purses
are worth going for. 1t is quite a jump
from Saltwater to Winnipeg, but horsemen
by working together can secure reasonable
rates, and the very liberal purses offered
are we'll worth the journey. The track
and accommodations at Winnipeg are
first class, while the association is COM
posed of the most prominent citizens of
the city, who will see that all obligations
incurred are fulfilled in every particular.
Their programme is arranged so
that horses participating will have
abundance of time to get back to
Minneapolis for that meeting. Horsemen
do not need to be told that both the Min
neapolis and Saltwater associations are
managed by honorable and liberal citi-
zens, who will leave nothing undone to
make the stay of visiting horse1nen pie as
ant as we'll as profitable, and that all
purses will be paid as soon as won.
Daily globe., 1883-05-28
miscellaneous,

Miscellaneous.
Mr.. d. II. January, president of the st.
Louis Jockey. Club, died May 10.
Daisydale, 2:19A, has gone wrong again
in her weak leg, and will not be trotted
this season.
In the 2:30 stallion trot at Crawfords-
vile, Ind, Friday, the stallion Eastwood
reduced his record to 2:20 in the first heat.
In trot for exercise, at Hartford, Ct,
Friday, Maud S. was driven mile in 2:21 u
and Maud S. and Aldine hitched togeth er,
trotted a mile in 2:25.
Fanny Witherspoon was given 2:21b
over the Cincinnati track last week. She
will beat PIG before the season ends, if
called upon to do it.-So says the Breeders
Gazette.
Speaking of Mambrino Sotham, one of
the sensational trotters of the season. the
other two being the black geldings Erebus
and Alexander, Dunton's Spirit of the
Iu'J says: Little less sensational was the
performance of Mambrino Sotham, a horse
sold by Mr.. 81. V. Bemis, of this city. to
Col. M. Shaugnessy, of Salt Lake City.
when the former gentleman disposed of
all his trotters. Sotham was one of pair
when Mr.. Bemis owned him, and was
worked up little by Mat CoIvin; but after
he became the property of Col Shaugnes-
sy, he passed into Alex. Lewis hands,
whose methods seem to agree with the
horse, as he wins all his races hands down,
and secured record of 2:25. The mate to
Mambrino Sotham was Mambrino Sturges
horse which Colvin liked the best and to
whom he gave record of 2:3915, in 1881.
Both were by Mambrino Gift, and we
doubt not both are real trotters.
The Breeders Gazette says: 'sThe Midway
stable now in training for the coming
campaign represents great deal of money.
Pilgrim cost $4,000; Won Arnim, $4,000;
$3.50, $4,000; Fanny Witherspoon $4,000;
Gem, $4,000, and Sannie G., $500. Total
$49,5OO." The above is not a complete
statement by long way. The correct list
of the animals belonging to the Midway
stable, that are in training for the coming
campaign, are as follows, and their cost
and money value far exceed the above fig
ures: Won Arnim, Lady Rolf, $3.50, Sill
verton, Fanny Witherspoon, Minnie R.,
Pilgrim, Gem and Little Brown jug. In
addition to the above are Sannie G., Lady
Logan and Spotswood, who are now in
training at the home track for the north
ern circuit. Zalia, by Peacemaker, who
now has colt at her side, will be put in
training for the fall events later in the sea-
son, she having shown in her exercises last
fall much speed.