The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-09-01
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

In passing sentence on two rogues,
Philip of Macedon ordered one to-
leave Macedonia with all speed, and the
other to try to catch him. .,
-''Stop trying to kiss me-" cried a
pretty girl to her bashful beau. 81 amt
kissing you" said he. ''Well, amt
you going too, she asked. He ran
away like a frightened dear. --Fiablcs
Of Ancient Greece. 81 ''-- 4 Il .-'-
One of the sable philosophers of
the Detroit Free Press Lime. Kiln Club
says: Remember dat you can t Judge .
of de home happiness of man an wife
by seem dem at Sunday-skule pic
mic"
Theodore Hook, after having been
frightfully crammed at an Aldermanic
feed, being asked to be helped again.
replied mo, thank you, [ don't want
any more, but l will take the rest in
money, if you please
Prof. Schele de We're SAYS that the
sherry cobbler was known in England
long before it was revived in this coun-
try. Next thing we know John Bull
will be claiming priority of invention
in pumpkin pie, dyspepsia and tobacco
chewing those three grandest achieve
ments of the Yankee nation. = Boston
Transcript -.t..... -l..... r.
-'Henceforth we meet as stran--
GERS" exclaimed Brown, in fit of
anger. '.Thank you, Brown, my dear
fellow" gushed Fogg effusively: "you
always did treat strangers better than
your friends and acquaintance, and
you make me exceedingly happy that
am henceforth to share in your dis
tinguished consideration" - Boston
Post.
-''See here, sir, exclaimed grocer,
bristling up with righteous Indignation
as the milkman made his morning call,
Il should just like you to explain how
the chalk and white clay that found
in my coffee-cup this morning got
there" Don't know, Pm sure,'' said
the milkman, unless you sweetene
your coffee with the same sugar you.
sold me yesterday. = Chicago ZtTb~pae..
Those Philadelphia juveniles who
are sad and disheartened because of the
prohibition of the fireworks features of
Independence Day, no doubt think civ
iization is failure; but the announce
ment that the revision of the Old Testa-
ment will be completed this year will
90 far toward toning down their disap-
pointment and making them think life
is worth living -NorrjSto,On Herald
Il assure you, gentleman said
convict upon entering the prison, ''the
place has sought me, and not fireplace.
My own affairs really demand all my
time and attention, and | may truly say
that my selection to fill this position was
an entire surprise. Had l consulted my
own interests should have peremptor-
lily declined to serve, but as | am in the
hands of my friends see no other course
but to submit" And he submitted, -
N. Y. Graphic. ,..'I''/1.t+t "
-ATombs lawyer, says the New York
World, has been endeavoring all the
week to get his client out of durance
| vile. Saturday he walked into the
Tombs and sent for his. client His face
was as smilA6, as The Historical basket
of chips. Its all right said the law
| yer, grasping his client hand. ''YesP'
7 calculated the client, frightening up.
Eyes, everythihg's ixed.'' "HowP"
| Il can get you out on habeas corpus"
And then the clients face, heightened
as he replied: Cant be done. Wouldn't
dare to try it, My cells on the third
tier and the darned thing might break. "