The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-05-24
MOTHERS SMILE.
THE BARBER DEFENDS THE IRISH.
BE say. the subject is GtterIy Reyond the
Cenprchension Of His Assistant.

..Subbose 4 chcndieman shOnd effery tay
bead his wife, und her screams should make OK
sidement nj der neghbOrhoOt." said the Ger
man barber near the Cooper Institute yester-
day: of course der yomans reladifs would at
dot chendlemau write insulding LEADERS, md
some Of der BeighbOrs would oNbress SYMPATHY
nit der bOpT woman, by hart words or sdOues or
sneh dings Dot habhens cifery tay Dot wife
heading chendieman il highland. unit dot
screaming wife is IrelaHt. Der rdladifs peen
der Irish in America, ind der neighbcrs peen
der AMERICAN beoble chencrally.
even highland gomblains of N0t Is sayt und
done "frT here. We should CRY pack. 'ShdOp
heading your Vife-you ;.read pig pnily, shdop
beading your rifcr Ven CheTmany nnd Aus
tlria say. like dem did last week, dem hobo der
AMERICANS blease stl0p der free sbeech und
money raising md dynamite uud such dings
on acconnd dot il is making Owit of IreIant an
nnbleasant "xamble Py der rest Of EurObe. We
must CRY pack, Make highland >hd"P beading
his wife
"Py shiminy hooky, der Crowned wooden
heats Of EuTObr ain'd pegun To see VOt a moo
sance und drouble America will peen to her vet
hereafter aireaty. EuTObe is like ieedle will
l3ge of apOwd dwendy olt families confused.
und all dem families hat dwO pig crown for der
original farms und shopping Offer into America
a crowd of Ieladifs. Der guffermend of dot will
lage is a lot of kings und gweens yich are a
back Of loayers vOt lif ON der OIt families. und
der same dime dreat EN- like der teffil. dele
graph gable Of SYMPATHY is lait der potion of
der ocean under, und ven a plOw is at liberly
struck der oder site, Won will hear der SCREAMS
"f der relatifs in America, choOst as ven You
hress der button ON vOn ent of a telegraph wire
you hear der consequences py der oder nnt.
Der faIndest CRY for hellup will been answered
here right away, nit money bublicly. und bri-
fatelv a leedle dynamite. perhaps.
''Und ven der kings unG gweeus gomblain,
dem should always der same answer get Der
drouble is not here alretty. It's Oh yOnr site of
de pig swimming pond. Don'd gOmblain of der
echo. lou will not hear it if you Shdop der
oritchRal noise.
dot monkey harper py der negst shair, he
says der Irish gwesti0n looks like il will soon
Peen settled, If all der chenerals py der patriot
army come to dis gundry und all der high bri-
fates get locked init Pritish chails up.
'Der idea Of Such monkey TELLER driving to
dackle such pig snbchect, is as much foolish
ness as if n vOn-eyed man should dry to see der
bOtc sites of himselluf togedder. His olt fader
says he is like der shmard Cherman pOy vich
vent to purchase a horse away from Chew. Il
know how 20 tOlt gO0t horse he sayt; 'aI
vot has got to peen done is to look at his deeth'
Der Chew horse brought ovid vich berfect
deeth had, und sworc peSiie der CRATE of his IA
der der animal pecn chOost as sound as der oft
fashioned fife-cent bieces. Der sahmard poy
bald der hrlce, und der horse dock away, Int
ven his fader saw him, he CRIED ovid wy, dot
horse has only dree legs got
"Py Shimminy HOnkyr der pOy sayt, Il
forgot to COUNT his legsr"-N y San.