The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-09-09

For The HERALD
a DIFFERENCE OF FAITH.

Treated terrible russ Ia the town:
The preachers wsxGd warmer, and one o
them said f
The world would be better If t'othel
were cad. -
Each one was afraid that his rival would
stray
From life everlasting-the straight, mar.
row way.
On Sundays the preachers and hearers q.
we'll,
RejOiced as they fGncied their rivals in
hell.
Discussions arose in the pulpit and press,
And each said his brother was in a bad
mess. g.. .a-.
The two sects kept praying that justice be
To sinners who differed, and would no! be
won.
One Sabbath. when begging for God to
confound,
A terrible earthquake was rumbling
Each church for itself, said the trouble
was sent
To punish the other-aDhen down they
both t0ent.
Too late TO consider, the two sects were
QuFIeQ
Beneath the esrth's surface; clear out Of
the world.
It happened the rivals all fell in crowd,
And Pluto observing them seemed to feel
proud:
He told the two preachers to pick out
their focks,
And stand on the right, and the left, of
some rocks.
Then Pluto to both Of the leaders cried
out:
"See here! WHATS the row? WHAT'S
your quarrel sbout2"
The first one spoke up, and he told lots
OF tales;
He yelled till his mouth was as big as q
whales.
He said that the crowd on the left were
go bad,
That devils incarnate he'd much rather
Said Pluto; "Just draw it little more
mild
You can't tell tbs truth when you get so
much riled."
The second spoke, and he said: ''Look
here Pluto:
1 know you're q gentleman, just and
sstute.
That son of gun, and that crowd on
the right
Were always trying to kick up e fight;
From daylight to dark, they declared we
we're wrong:
The fact is, their doctrines were not very
strong
In short, they are fools, and they lie, and
they cheat"
"0hI shut Cpl" said Pluto, YOU'RE all
in heat.
You're all just alike, and to prove what
I say,
These mills I'll have started to work
right away.
Wen see what you're made of-the
mills grind real fine
know that you're mud though-no
gold, not sign"
Then calling his aids, he said: "Left
No. l.
Gall the right No. 2, when the samples
are done.
Now grind to the finest, and watch 70.
the gold
There aims any though, or Pm very
much Sold"
All started to yell, bu. their noise was
soon drowned,
And quickly both parties were thoroughly
ground.
Tie samples were brought to old Pluto,
the king;
They both we're the same-ths very same
thing.
can mud" said old Pluto, ''All mud
every one
I'll doubt it no longer; I'm through, I
al done:
The fact Of it is, every man is the same;
The faults Of his neighbors he'll always
defame;
His own faults, however, he seldom can
see,
And that is the reason they seldom agree.
We've drowned 'em and burned 'em,
and swallowed 'em Up,
We've sent 'em the plague, that al sor.
row they'd sup;
We've knocked 'em around like setsSof
nine pins,
And yet they declare, it's through other
folks sins.
They fight, and they snarl, and abuse,
end dispute,
And pray that their forts may bring
forth good fruit,
While planting the seed of destruction
and death,
And cursing each other till scsnty Of
breath.
Sometimes they forget that I'm down
here below,
And hear all their jawing, which wor-
RES me so.
Quite often I'm tempted to drop the
whole crew,
And start all the mills-but no profits
accrue.
The Styx is all mud, and will hardly run
now;
Perhaps they hal better continue their
row
II they were all here; as they've really
no worth,
Then hell aOould be nearly as bad as the
EARTH"
At times though we're worse, and con-
trive some foul plot,
To injlre our fellows; then Pluto gets
He kicks DOM pillar-the earth opens
wide,
And quick as fash, we're at old Pluto's
side: