Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-06-26
HEADQUARTERS FANrAsrIcs,

June 20, 1850
Behold Yees fossils of our great and aristocratic
hubbub, who lain embalmed in ur hypochon-
dricsl siestas for the Gown and are to come three
hundred and sixty-fve and three quarters days,
eleven minutes ten seconds and three degrees-I "a
large sized l, pease), your great and most disfluen
tia master, do command yees follows Arise
and don your robes that have distinguished yees in
San Quentin and Napa soda, and wiggle yourselves
so our great and paatial abode" The Bombastie
Corral where we will lift our voices with cork
screws OF beer-excuse me-indignation at being
LETT engulfed so long without our usual allowances
of free lunch In the abyss of popular camor, yees
may PROFOUND why? The truth is startling to un-
fold Mark wees we'll our great and renowned
cousins from China Africa, and elsewhere to be
with u.s. and with you it is left to tire them, and
by-the-Way, some reflection has cast upon these
same cousins, and must diagnosis the injury.
They say our cousins are green-headed, cross eyed
camel backed, knock kneed WhOpper. jawed and
pigeon.toed likewise they bavs tin cars guttapercha
noses wearing spider web shirts lined with lemon
ade hOrse-collars neck-tes cut from the wave Of
public demonstration, snowflake pants with veuti-
ating attachments and refrigeratng suspenders ice
cream vests with hailstOne buttons, tissue paper
coats lined with grease, frost bitten hats made Of
nothing gored in the neck with props cut from the
North and South Poles, their coats slightly run
down at the heel, pleasant shoulders and q slight
impeachment in their looks, especially if met in the
dark a dude" smile on the upper lips whiskers
cut in the tyle Of the Langtry bangs Bringing Sar-
atoga vases loaded with post holes and wheelbar-
row seeds boots low crowned, broad brimmed
double barreled shotgun actioDed stem winding in
the band and cable-screwe3. We are, telephoned
they were all born before their younger brothers,
and therefore about our Poets age And even it
has inflated the colossal brain of our Hurrator who
continually Sings:
az my daddy's only sin,
Gay and lively, full of gin,
Brother is twice old as me,
So we are twins, you plainly see."
Therefore command yees again to leave the free
lunches and fve-cent beer without ice) and let us
fol Ow the scout of the RECORD UNION and the rear
in of Leaders goat, and assemble at our castle
the 4th day of July, 1SS3, at o'clock P NJ. blunt.
postscript to the careless public Do not allow
your breath to our path, because strong
ourselves in capacity and may overcome you, or
our overcome NAV breathe your path and cause our
capacity to cross the public.
Do not forget to win the prizes of two hundred
shekels of coons skins and 'possum hides that are
offered coming directly from the nearest hen
rooss. Awake and locomate. Your
GRAND GENERALISSIM0
(By consent of his 100 Aids Headquarters at
Seventh and l.
N B.-All aristocrats intending to partake of our
general denuncation of public criticism will please
telegraphaDd be recorded positions in the line as
our pageantry OF animals We fear may reach be-
yond the classic precincts o. our " debris city
C. C.