News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-08-09
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS.
WHAT WE FIND IN THEM TO SMILE
OVER THIS WEEK.
No Place for JOe-NOt in the Directory
An EDITORS TriuIs-A story of General
Cnss-Nnming Town. Etc, Etc.

in a Woodward avenue street car, anC
when one complained that she was again
without a cook the other replied:
"Ah I have a jewel of girl She's
neat, prompt, respectful, and only pay
her twelve shiIlings a week"
els it possible ?'
eyes; she's from the country and
doesn't know that she can get more
wages"
The same two women met in the same
car again yesterday, but alas how
changed the situation They stared
frigidly at each other without even a
nod, and they would not sit on the same
side of the car. The twelve-shiIIing
jewel of a girl is now receiving 50 a week
in the kitchen of the woman who was
without a cook. Hence the ruction,
which will descend to the third genera
ton. .-DetroH Free Press.
JOURNALISTIC ENTERPRISE.
One day, year or two ago, a Green
vile, S. c., editor heard that a man was
to be lynched in a locality about fifteen
miles away, and he put a new pencil
into his pocket, hired the fastest horse
in town, and started for the scene. When
he arrived he found a crowd under a
a tree, and in the circle was the prisoner
"a vilainous chap, who had committed
a heinous offence.
The crowd had started to hang him,
but several citizens had advanced such
in favor of permitting the
law to take its course that it had about
been decided to take the rascal back to
jail.
Williams drove up, jumped down, and
in minute or two learned that the affair
was off. He had driven fifteen miles to
report a case of lynching, and his dis
gust was profound. Mounting a stump
he began:
Gentlemen, look at that thar hoss.
I've foundered him to get here and see
this hanging. 1t will be 5000 out of my
pocket, and the only return will be a
i'll the NCiOS, saying that you
concluded not to hang him Gentle
men has na+riotism died ont Of +bis
countv >"
ssNo!nolnor y yelled the crowd.
"Does it make any particular differ
ence to this man whether he is hung now
or three months later ?"
''No nor
''Gentlemen, believe III law and or
der, but I've driven hlteen miles, 1o'lii-
i,, ,,lI,' " lit t7,4 'Illl, . +, bes+ i,i,,,
but if he should pe swung mp ana
should be asked to sit on the Corooor. ;
H. H. and BRING ''' u ''.''''' .
look at that az. hoss E'
'"..i. ..'.' '
.ua~.-s. ,.,, wreck Of a once noble
hose ord toll"
..Joorov ,, sbontad the crowd. and up
-on+ +bo man 70 he left suspended until
dead M. QUAD.
crxrp.1.cAss AS ROY.
II rooon+Iv nnblisbed memorial of
~ Db;u;,,s Exo+ar Acadnmv an ex-
tno tn15aI rll rafaro,7ce is made to Daniel Web
atn,.,s s+r1dant life and the familiar Incl
'1a,,+ of 1,is risino to tbe head of his class
o91 1oo,-;,a + for bioher is told in er-
'-S-I ''-l,, - It ,. r,1,ob 20 bo raorattad that
iittIo I;,s con ha found reIatino to the con-
-, g C,o,,a.o1 C1oes with +ba PbilIiDs
~ ,aolo,,,,,. 60, uitbort donht
L1Ao'el = ,a -, Lao, Sow &c its oI,,nori
'lielo n'''G ,,;.o,, % bioh onona his fol.
"lio ii'''0 - L.. oao,,ir,1 os ,,.oo+
lo"-men, anu '''''o ~, ~ 80
tame WIN el'liei "ol" y Zoo FI - 49,
entered lne "c"'l9Iny IL 1''-' w
age OF 10 years. Here ne pursue" LIS
studies with great diligence and consld'
cradle success, standing well in his class
and applying himself diligently to the
requirement of knowledge throughou
his course. In regard to this period o
the life of Lewis Cass, an alumni writes
+bo following.
The incidents when Df. ApDoIt. .reIaIe'
about the school-boys VINO nave become
1llustnouS were eAVrelnely Interesting
"LeWlS CasS' ne Salu' was d yer.
wild BOY. Ohe oay MS I"'lleI' MAY
Cass, came 10 llle ''ii'' '''iAe'' Alo i
could take MS SOIL
'CefIalnlI' o'' why "o SI' '.SN
'Oh, the yo''iiSS'ei ID iio'''0 u oiiS
ana haro 10 ii''il''6 9,
" lli'U ooe" iie oo
! Plays truah', runs away iioi.1 III
"orh' Sto"l' vi "I.-lN.' -;
to go a-gunnlng' nsnlng 5, OF SwiD'N1il's
any, 4" !1von iT send him to me and III Sc
a. iii, him
"IaG art,, l eau w VIVA ,,iaoad NV cboroe
e,..l,'lI nI ,,,1nths 10y h later met his fatbe
and asked him how his son was gettini
oIono
IeJyou sir said he. if Lewis wa
Lo1f &C oFroid of +he Almighty as he
l,s' nf ro1 shonId never have any NOR
trouble with him. "-BOSton Her0td.
w o,,,,, ~, CO Called
u,Il ~ l.a m raoJo +ha 1ondino at IL
~ g Uo+o,>roof To the overAo
,'"" .,,.1 tl,n aooord story window
e all tho bouses On the roof of a
abandoned grocery sat ragged darkt
in the most complacent manner, and
the boat swung in, a lady passenger, wi