Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1883-07-07
INCIVILITY TO GUESTS.

ual at the office of Chicago hotel, 81
want to report one of your body guards
for incivility to guests.
"I'm sorry about that" replied the
clerk blandly. "What is the incivility
which you want to complain about ?"
swell, there's card tackled to my
room door which says as plain as big
type can make it that any incivility to
guests should be promptly reported at
the office, and there's bell cord. |
rung the bell few moments ago, and
when the porter came up to see what |
wanted III. be conswitched if he didn't
tell me to go to the bad place, so /
came right down to your office. Don't
you call that incivility to guests.
That's pretty middling uncivil,"
said the clerk. Porter wasn't drunk,
was he ?"
Drunk No, he was as sober as an
undertaken. There he is now, hanging
around the door of the wash room.'
"I'll speak to him about it, said the
clerk. "Polonius, what is the row be-
tween you and No. 208? He says you
insulted him"
81 guess | did," said the porter sulk-
lily, "guess you would have insulted
him. He thinks that card on the door
means that he can waltz the whole
house up to his room every minute in
the day just because he's got bell
cord in his room. He commenced his
game On me early this morning before
breakfast. First he wanted cocktail
and l carried it up, and hadn't got half
way down before he rang again and
wanted match. And then he wanted
morning paper and the register fixed
and the blinds closed, and me to help
him dress, and then bottle of ginger
ale and another match and postage
stamp and some note paper and envel-
opes, and fresh water and chunk of
ice and two clean towels and piece Of
CASTLE soap, and then he sent me four
blocks to drug store after tooth
brush and some tanNin to put under
his arms to keep them from chatting,
and | hadn't more than got back be-
fore he sent me out again after some
compound cathartic pills, and to the
bar for some mineral water, and then
he changed his mind and sent me back
to the drug store after seidlitz powders
and when | brought 'em he said he
didn't order seidlitz powders but bot
tie of citrate magnesia. Then he went
down to breakfast and he hadn't no
more than struck his room before he
rung for me, and when got up there
he asked me how everything was get
ting along down stairs, then | sat down
on the window sill and blowed myself
for | was nearly dead with running up
and down to his room, and when he
saw how l was resting myself he got
me to shift three big trunks across the
room, and when | started to go down
he said, don't leave me I'll give you
one of the new nickles to stay and read
to me till dinner time, and show me
how to climb out to the fire escape, and
when got back to the office and wind
ed myself on a big trunk, l heard his
bell again, and went up and he asked
me how I'd trade jack knives insight
or unseen, and if was a Democrat,
and if knew where he could buy a
secondhand side-saddle to take home
to the old woman and asked me to 60
out to some of the auction stores and
look for one, and what my name was,
and when | told him he said he knew
midwife in Dubuque by that name,
and wanted to know if it was my moth
err / had to go down to the Rock
Island bus, and he run me up in less
than fifteen seconds and wanted to
know if my folks were Methodist or
Dunker's, and if the hotel furnished
tobacco in any Of the higher priced
rooms, and then after | had unloaded
the Illinois Central truck he rang me
right up and asked me if | ever had
the salt rheum, and if so, how much,
and did it spread like hives or run in
circles like a ring worm, and if
wouldn't borrow razor to cut his
corns, and"
"What was it you said to him ??
broke in the clerk.
81 told him to go to the bad place
THAT'S all right. He came straight
to the office, and seeing that I'm head
imp here, sir, and ready to settle with
you, there's your bill.