Evening star., 1883-10-03
Wednesday whatnots.


There are two things in the world which q
tramp will not sit down on. One Is a barbed
wire fence and the other is n good healthy hOr-
nets nest. Burlington Free Press. D..
The high-school girl severely reprimanded her
brother for using the phrase mot to be sneeZed
at" She says he ought to say ''Occasioning
no sternutatory convulsiOns. oil City Der
rick.
very strict Temperance man, while visiting
| summer resort, refused to attend the hops
given at the hotel because they reminded him
OF one OF the ingredients Of beer.-SomeyuiHe
Journal
When church committee called upon mer-
chant for subscription toward the oyster sup
per. he literally offered to contribute the oyster,
and yet they were not satisied.-No,ristotcn
Herald.
1t now turns out the Frank James whom the
people thought was blUOdy-handed murderer
Is only meek little Sunday-schOOl teacher
whose mouth Is too nice for pie.-TOtedO Aneri-
can.
"What're you doing with that cigar, you little
ras scal2" exclaimed father, addressing his son.
"Ma said that if hit the cat agin she'd make
me smoke. an hit heragin an am smokin' -
Arkansd,o Traveller.
A little daughter of severely orthodox Darents
had an idea that heaven was a pretty straight
laced sort of place. and the other day accosted
her mother as follows: "Mamma, when | die
and 90 to heaven, don't you suppose they'll let
me go down to hell on Saturday afternoon to
play. y."-Boston Times.
One Of the letters Of Introduction Miss Kate
Field brought here to Denver was from Sir
Charles Dixie to Judge McCurdy. She sent q
note to the Windsor hotel Office asking where
the judge could be found. The answer came
back: Don't know; he's been dead eight years. {"
Denues' Tribune.
China has formally declared war against
-
Saturday night minus shirt or two, or your
best silk handkerchiefs. you may know the
missing articles have been shipped to the celes-
tial kingdom to assist in equipping the army
necessary to repel tho frog-eating INVADERS
Chicago Neos.
'Oh, grannie, grannie!" exclaimed Brooklyn
boy. glancing up from . paper which he was
reading, "Java has been visited by shower of
fire." 'Dear mel" returned the old lady. not
exactly catching the full import Of the cOmmu-
nicatiOn, ''dear me! you don't tell me SO. Well.
| thought the coffee this morning tasted a little
burnt. ."-Brooklyn Eagle.
"May I have the honor to conduct your
daughter to the supper table?" asked q society
gentleman Of lady from the country, who is
staying with some friends whom she is visiting,
''May you take her to supper" was the re-
spOnse. "Why, Of course? and youcan take me,
too. That's what we came here for."-Ameri-
can Queen.
AlaSha SiIiS wear OutCOQnOleS IN C0elf lids
and there is great demand for buttons among
the Alaska boys.-Louisui2e Courier er-JourndL
David Davis and the prize pumpkin will clasp
hands across the bloody chasm In the region OF
Raleigh, N. c., during the sere-and- yell0w-leaf
days Of October Chicago Tribune.
History has vindicated the woman who kissed
the cow. An elderly female twined her arms
about Henry Ward Beecher In California re-
Gently and planted one on his ruby lips before he
could get away.-Louisuille Courier Journal.
The Bismarck Tribune has learned that Svr-
acuse young lady recently declined an invitation
to eat Ice cream because she had got to help her
| mother wash. It is curious how this informa-
ton first became known way ont In Dakota.
Nothing is known Of it In Syracuse. Philadel-
phid CdQ
carefully reared young Baltimore woman
| had been taught, among other things, that
| when entering on an important undertaking
she should .'take it to the Lord in prayer" The
other day she called her mother into the parlor
and asked her to kneel with her In prayer. The
value Of this story as an Illustration In q sun
day-school book ends right here, for after rising
the young woman walked upstairs and commit.
ted suicide. ndian4poHs Journal