Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1883-04-18
The Bad Boys Pa an Inven'
tor.

The Bad Boys ia an lh'ch~
tor.
Hal Ha! Now l have got you,
said the grocery man TO the bad boy
the otter mornings, as he came in and
jumped upon the counter and tied the
end OF a ball Of twine 10 the tail OF
dog that was following passing sleigh |
causing the twine so play out until the
whole bali was scattered along the
block. Condemn you! Iye a notion
to choke the liver out of you! Who
tied that twine 10 the dogs tal?'
The boy chokeJ up with emotion and
the tears came into his eyes and he
lid not know anything about the .wine
or the dog. He said he noticed The
dog come in aud wag his tail around
the twine, but he supposed the dog
was a friend of the family, and did not
disturb him. Everybody lays every
thing that is done to me- said the boy
as he put bis handkerchief 10 his nose,
'and they will be sorry for it when L
die. have a good notion TO poison
myself by eating some Of your glucose
sugar.
Yes, and you do everything that is
| MI o,Lo- dov n wOnan came
in and told me 10 send up 10 her house
some ofmy country sausage done up IN
muslin bags, and while she was ex-
amining she noticed something hard in-
side the bags and asked me what it was
aud I opened it, aud 1 hope 10 die il
there wasn't a little brass paddock and
a piece Of red Morocco dog collar im'
bedded in the sausage. Now how do
you suppose that got in there? said
The grocery man, looking savage.
The boy looked interested and put
on an expression as though in deep
thought, and finally said, 4 suppose
the farmer that put up the sausage did
not strain the dog meat. Sausage
meat ought to be strained
The grocery man told the boy be
knew perfectly well how the brass
paddock came 10 be in the sausage. but
think It safer to have the good will o.
the boy than the i'll will, he offered
him double handful of prunes.
No. Gays the boy, Il have swore of
on mouMy prunes. I am no kinderga-
ten any more. For years 1 have eaten
rotten peaches around this store, and
everything you could not sell, but l
have turned over a new leaf now, and
after this nothing is too geod for me.
Since pa has got to be an inventor, we
are 90 ng TO live high
WHAT'S your pa invented? saw
hearse and three hacks go up on your
street the other day and thought maybe
you had killed your pa
Not much. There will be more
than three hacks when kill pa, anc
don't you forget it Well. sir, pa has
struck a fortune, if he can make The
thing work. He has got an idea abou
coal stoves that will bring him IN
several million dollars, if he gets
9 ROYALTY of S. on every coal stove II
the world. His idea is to haYe a Goa
stove on casters with the pipe made
to telescope out and in, and ruooel
3 hose for one Joint, so you can pull th'
stove all around the room and warn
any particular place. Well. sir, t.
hear pa talk about is. you would think
il would reyoutionze the country, anc
NAV be- il will when he gets it perfected
y but he came near burning the house
= up, and scared US oil half to death thl
morning and burned his shirt of, an
he is all covered With cotton and swee
oil, and he smells like salad dressing
You see, pa had pipe made and some
casters put on our coal stove, and h'
tie rope 10 the hearth Of The stove
> and had me put in some kindling-woo
- ard coal last night, so he could draw
= the stove up to the bed and light tn
=, fire without getting up. Ma told biz
> he would put his foot in 1t, and he toll
"a her 10 dry up aud let him run the sloY
g business. He said 1t took a man wit
brain to run a patent right; and M
:, pulled the clothes over her head and le
pa do the fire act. She had been bullC
= Ing the fires for twenty years, an
thought she would let pa see how goo
u it was. Pa pulled the stove up TO 10
., bed. and touched of the kindllng woot
, guess may be 1 got bundle oil klnC
. ling wood that the hired girl put. kero
~ sene on, cause it blazed up awful an
- smoked, and the blaze bursted out th
:, doors and windows OF the stove, and
- he yelled 'Fire!' and 1 jumped out o.
bed and rushed in, and he was IN
:, skeerdest man you ever seen, and you
- dide to see how he kicked when
:, threw pail of water on his legs to pu
~ his shirt out. Ma did not get burned
but she was pretty wet, and she to-
: pa she would paw the five dollars roya
=, ty on that stove and take the caster
- off and let it remain stationary. L
:; saws he vii make it work, if he burr
=, the house down. L think it was real os
- in pa to get mad at me because | thre
> cold water on him instead Of war
- water, to put bis shirt out. II ha
;, waited till l could heat the water
in the right temperature would hay
- been an orphan, and pa would hay
- been burnt offering. But some me
% ALWAYS kick at everything. Pa hi
:, given up business entirely and says
L L. - "a