Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-10-17
An Ingenious Letter.

A sufferer bemoans the fact that the
sales of mines are largely expedited
by the exhibition of alleged "inside"
letters from the mine itself and which
are shown only Sin the strictest con-
fidence," and which epistles it states
are usually Of a nature untitled to de-
ceive even a school-boy. We have,
therefore, carefully prepared the fol-
lowing sample of improved bedrock
epistle of the "private note from SUI
perintendent" description, and which
will be found exceedingly useful in
working" the most cautious investor,
foreign or domestic:
RATTLEsNAKE POCKET, ARIZONA.
My DEAR BoY-Why the blazes
don't you fellows hurry up with that
Roedererf The piano arrived yester-
day, but it needs something more than
piano and a pier glass to ciNilize
these diggins. Talking of the piano,
reminds me that it arrived here minus
the works, the mule that packed it
over the high grade having slid over
200-foot precipice and kicked all
the insides out. However, we use it
to keep ice and provisions, which is
just as good. Why don't you send
along that gross of horseshoes ? Old
Skidmore, our Vice-President, was
down here last week, and he kicked
up rumpus because he found we had
been shoeing the mules with gold bars.
| explained it was the only metal we
had handy, but there is no satisfying
these old misers. And to think you
Frisco fellows let him in at bedrock
only $40 share. Had lots of fun
here last Sunday. The greasers gave
a fandango-four men shot. If you
run across the Huckerson girls l wish
you'd tell Jobisco to return my pic
ture and ring. She'll understand why.
She can bet her life I'm not going to
play second fiddle to that red-headed
George Unison. You ask me to give
you the cold fact as to what we have
struck here. Now, old fellow, you
know it would just ruin me if the
crowd found it out, but know l can
depend on you to keep it dark. The
other day / measured the ore body
and found it to be eleven hundred feet
long and four hundred wide. As the
the ore is just ninety-nine and three
fourths per cent. pure we can safely
count upon twenty-six billion Of dol
lars, less one per cent. milling expens-
es. We will put up another another
thousand stamp mill next week. l
wish you would give the man who fur
nished our hosting cable a good cuss-
ing for me. Yesterday, while on the
cage going up from the thousand-foot
level, l noticed that the rope had un-
raveled right over my head and was
about to part. | saw that unless the
strain was at once relieved it would
be all up with me. There were four
Cinnamon in the cage with me, and
you can imagine it did not take me
long to shove them overheard. 1t was
a narrow escape, l tell you. Please
send up four new Cinnamon. Will
send you potato sack full of mug
gets soon, to arrange in your aquari-
UNI. Mind, now, don't show this let
ter, even to your wife. Your old
partner,
JIM.
p. S.-Burn this Immediately.
Now here is bedrock" letter
that amounts to something. 1t is not
only redolent of the climate and racy
of the soil, but it has about it an air
of ingenious honesty, of blunt
straightforward enforced truth, that
is simply irresistible. IF this sort a
"steerer" does not induce the most
hesitating New York or British in
weston to come into camp, then there
is nothing else to be done but to in
vite him up dark alley and resort to
the old and reliable, though less fash
ionable, persuasion of the sand club.
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