davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-03
HIS PAS MARVELLOUS ESCAPE.

SCOT any vaseline?" said the bad boy
TO the grocery man rs he went Ia the store
one cold morning, leaving the door open,
and picked up cigar stub that had been
thrown down by the stove, and began to
smoke IL.
.'Shut the door. Was you brought up
in saw-milIi You'll freeze every potato
in the house. No, haven't got any vase
line. What do you want Of vaselineF'
said The grocery man, as he set the syrup
keg on chair by the stove where II would
tha~ OuG.
"want To rub IL OH pas lrgs," said the
boy, Ms I,e Tried to draw smok: through
the ciSIr stub.
"whv. wla,'s the matter with your pas
leg? Rheunatiz?"
"wu.s nor rheumatic" said the boy, as
he threw away the cigar sub and drew
some cider in a broken teacup. PA has
got The worst looking hind legs you ever
saw. You see, since there has beeii 40
many Tres pa has got offul scared, and he
has bought three fire escapes made out oi
rope with kuois in them, and lie has berb
telling u. every day how lie could rcscdr
the whole family Ia case Of fire. lie tolu
us to be cooi, whatever happened, aud 10
rely on him. IL th. house gDi on fire We
were all 10 rush TO pa, and hr would save
u. Well, last night ma had 10 90 to one
of the neighbor's, where they were going
10 have twins, and We didn't sleep much
cause ma had 10 come home twice la the
night Ia set saffron and an old nabnel
pettlcoat that broke In when ] was Kid.
cause the people where INA went did not
know as twins was OH the bill Of fare, and
they only had flannel petticoats for one.
Pa was cross at being kept awake, and
toll ma lie hoped when NIL the children
Ia Milwaukee were born and got grown
up, she would take in her sign and not 90
around nights acting as usher at baby
maIinee.. Pa says there ought 10 be
law that babies should arrive on the reg
ular day trains, aud not wait for the MIDI
night express. Well, pa he got asleep,
and he slept till about eight o'clo:k In the
morning, and the blinds were closed, aud
It Was dark In his room, and had waited
for my breakfast till was as hungry 40
wolf. and the girl told me TO wake pa up,
40 went up stairs, ant ] don know
What made me think OF IL, but had some
Of this powder they make red nrs with In
the thea.rr, that me and my chuin had on
IN. 4rh of July, aud put It in = wash
dish In the bathroom, and touched IL oa
and hollcred fire. I guess there was too
much fire or yelled TOO loud, cause pa
Jumped out Of bed and grapped rope and
rushed through the hall towards the back
window. He had one end Of the rope tied
to the leg Of the washstand, ard he wss
climbing down the back side Of the shed
by the kitchen, with nothing on but his
night ,hirt, and he was the horriblest
looking Object ever was, with his legs fy.
ing and trying 70 stick his toe nails into
the rope and the side Of the house. \
don't think q man looks very well la co
ciety with nothing on bur his night shin
! didn'r blame the hired girls Tor being
scared when they saw ps and bic iekp
come down oursjds the window, and wlsep
they yelled I went down to the 1kitcben,
and they said crazy man with 10 eclethss
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-03

he was very cruel to his boy, bright little
fellow who was at the head Ct his class In
Sunday school, and . pet wherever he
was known, when pa interrupted me aud
said, Doctor, please take that carving
knife OF my stummick. for 1t makes me
nervous. As for that boy Of mine, he Is
the con,lemndist little whelp In this town,
and he isn't no net anywhere. Now, you
let up on this dissectin' business, and ]
will make it all right with you:"
We held another consultation aud then
told pa that we did not feel that it was
doing justice TO society to give up the boly
Of notorious drunkard. after We had paid
twenty dollars for the corpse. IL there
was any hope that he would reform and
try to lead . different life, it would be
different, aud said To the bows, gentle
men, we must do our du.y. Doc, you dis
member that leg, and | will attend TO the
stomach and the upper part Of the body.
He will be dead before we are done with
him. We must remember that society has
some claims on us, and not let our better
natures be worke6. upon by the post NOR
tenn promises OF dead drunkard. Then
| took my iccle and began fumbling
around the abdomen portion Of pas re-
mains, and my chum took rough piece
OF ice and began to SAW his leg of, while
the other boy took hold OF the leg and said
lie would catch il when IL dropped OF.
Well, pa kicked like n steer. he said he
wanted TO M Ike one more appeal TO us,
and we acted sort Of impatient, but We LEI
up to hear what he had 10 say. He said
ii We would turn him loose he would give
ns ten dollars more than We paid for his
body, aud that he would never drink an-
other drop as long rs he lived.
Then We whispered some more and told
him we thought favorably Of his last prop
osition, but he must swear, with his hand
on the ley Of Il corpse We were then dis
seeting, that he wOuld never drink again,
and then he must be blindfolded and be
conducted several blocks away from the
dissecting room. before we would turn
him loose. lie said that was all right, and
so we blindfolled him, aud made him take
u bloody oath, with his hand OIL piece
Of another corpse, and then we took him
out Of the house aud walked him around
the block four times, and left him OH
corner, after he had promised TO send
money to All address that gave him. We
told him to siant. still five minutes after
we left him, then remove the blindfold,
and 70 home. We watched him from be-
HAD board fence, aud he took OF the
handkerchief, looked at the name on
street lamp, and found he was not far
from home. He started of sayin That's
a pretty narrow escape old mLn. Ne
more whisky for you"
did not see him again until this MORN
ing, and when asked him where he was
last night he shuddered and said "none
Of your dam business. But never drink
any more, you remember that" Ma WAS
tickled and she told me WAS worth my
weight in gold. Well, good day. That
cheese is musty." And the boy went out
aud caught on passing sleigh.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-03

trying to kick the window ih, aud they
run into the parior, and opened the door
and let pa In the Kitchen. lie asked mr
II anybody else was saved, aud then told
him there was no fire, AMI he must have
dreamed he was In hell, or somewhere.
Well, pa was astonislel. aud said he must
be wrong in the head, aud left him
thawiLg himself by the stove while I
went after his pants, aud his legs were
badlr chilled, but l guess nothin' was
frue. He lays it all ta ma, and ssys if
she would stay at home anil let people rnn
their own bahy-sho~s, there would be
more comfort ia the honse. Ma came in
with shawl over her head, and
after she had told us what the result of
her visit Was. she sent me after vasriine
to rub pas l-gs. Pa says lie has driu"n-
stratesl that IL man In c,ol aud collected
In case OF hre, and goes deliberately at
work 10 save hilnsclf, hr will come cut all
right"
''well, you are the meanest boy ever
heard Of said the grov-ry man. Bat
what about your pa. dancing clog dance
In church Sunday. The ministers hird
girl was in here after some goldfish ys.-ter-
day morning, and she said the minister
said your pa had scaudalired the church
la the worst way"
"Oh, he didn't dance Ia church. lie
Was little excited, that WAS all. Y"a see
pa chews tobacco, and IL Is pretty harl on
him to sit all through the sermon wirhon,
taking chew, aud he gets nervous. lie
always reaches around Ia his pistol pocket
when they stand up to sing the last time.
and he feels In his tobacco box aud gets
nut chew aud puts it in his mouth when
the minister pronounces the benediction,
and then when they yet out doors he IL
all ready to spit. lie always does that.
Well, my chnn had n present on Christ.
mas OF n music box, just ~ big Ne pas
tobacco box, aud all you have to do Ia to
touch a spring, aud II plays she's .
Daisy, She's u Dumpling.' borrowed It
and put Il la pas pistol pocket where ho
keeps his tobacco box, and when the choir
got most through singing, pa reached HE
hand In Lis pocket and began to tumble
around for chew. lie touched The
spring, aud just a. everybody bowed their
heads TO receive the benedictiOn, and IL
was So still you could hear gum drop.
the music box began to play, aud In the
stiffness IL sounded as loud ~ u church
organ. Well, thought ma would sink.
The minister heard it aud he looked to-
wards pa, aud every body looked at pa too,
and pa turned red, aud the music kept up
She's Daisy aid the minister lo, ksd
mad AMI laid 'Ansn,' aud the people 5e.
gan to put OH their coats, aud the minister
told The deacon 10 hunt up the source VI
that worldly music. and they took pa Into
the room back Of the pulpit aud searched
him, aid ma says ~ will have to Ls
churchet. They kept the music box, aud
| have got to carry Ia coal to get money
enough to buy my chum new music boH.
Well, shall have to 10 and get that vas
cline or pas legs will sutrrr. Good day"
-Psck's San.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-03

A nervous looking msn went Int
store The other day ant 81, down for halt
an hour or 90, when . clerk asked him 70
there WAS anything he could do for him.
lie said no, he didn't want snyfhInx. Ths
clerk went away, and the man sal there
half an hour longer, when the proprietor
went TO him and asked II he wsnt~d 70 b
shown anything, "No." ssid the nsrvous
man, II just want to slt around. ny
physician has recommended perfest quiet
for me, and says above all things I pust
avoid being In crowds. Noticing that y0a
did not advertise In the ns~srsvsn,l \
tbought that this would b. - qnIss place
Is coald And 20 jnss dropped In zoe
few hours' isolation"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-03

"In our country /" said the EngIIshnAs,
~ he leaned back In his chair. "befors 10
marry We arrange 70 ssssls certain pun
upon the wife," Yes, I know" rvplis&
the Araericsn, "but With ne it 10 difss'
ent. IL 10 sfter We are married thst ~
settle everything on the wife and srraSgs
20 beat our creiiiors." .tf..t ,.fs
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-03

A very colored man, Who ens~rsd com.
plaint against another for ssssuhing and
baftering h'm upon the head. vss told ~
ihe justice: II don't see any msrts."'
"Does ye s'poss he hit me wids piece u
chalk!" MA the Indignant rejcisdsr.
The csss Drocesded. --.tsss sue<t,A
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-03
COAL! COAL!!

IAN now fully prepared to furnish all
] kinds Of tie very hest quality OF coal.
Red and White Ash. Nut. Stove, and Egg;
also Cumberland Lump and Run Of Mine.
Guarantee quality and prices to De ~
Good and low as can be bought. All orders
ieft AZ the store or warehouse will receive
prossv. attention. Your orders solieited.
= - - G. T. HODGES.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-03
DRESS GOODS

a com plste worsted Limitation Cashmers oil
wool nllings) a. low as l2lS cents, up TO SDper
yard. in ali the new styles and colors. hy lins
Of Black Caxhmereg can't be beat; have per.
feet beauty for 80 cents, and on up In proper.
tion Ny line Of Black silk will speak for ITSELF.
Bleacbed and brown muslin from cents up.
The exclamation Of every one that looks at my
Prints is, that they arc cheap and beautiful:
Red and white Flannels ~ all prices; oleachsd
bingham from 8 cents up. In Sheeting and L.
G. Nuslin, Bed Tick, &e., my stock 10 complets.
Kentucky Jeans from ~ cents 70 any price the
mind can think Of; also full stock Of Cassi-
m ars N prices that will make you buy In
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-03

"I am like Balaam," said dandy, -
meeting pretty g.rl 10 marrow passAEs.
'.t,topped by an angel" "And ] am iits
lie angel" said she, "stnppsd b ~
ass" .t.. 80 ..-...,, .,...t
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-03
M0LLER & CO.,
Organ Manufacturers,
AT
HAGERSTOWN, MARYLAND,

ARE prepared nv the very Considerable enlarge
nent Of their buildings and saded facilities 70
a. promptly Ocders for large PIPE ORHANs
FOR CHUECHEs They .lso manufacture tie
MOLLER CHORAL PIPE ORGAN ~ we'll -
every variety nf CABIEET ORGAEs.
Their aim Gill bs attain perirc,ien In all
the varied requirements Of superior Instrument.
Their testiaiObisl are rnncrOus yud uniform
- to superior quslity of Tont," combined 9TH
extraordinary power and variety Of eOmpositi'a
The report al cnmmitise empowered to se-
lect v tbe Chapel of the First Reformed Church
~ Hngsr-,o.r, Nd, !. Ia the fulh'wisR. The
MOLLER OR1AN ronrletiy earri the day,
iron tne softert uhi.psr 10 the moot powerful
TOT Iii I. simp'y wonderful" and We hesrtily
recommend the choice nj the M0LLEk ORGAN.
Our price, are uniform securing the sdvas-
lsg cf p'.od Instr unent at . resson.bss &rios.
July 8. 1882. ~
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-03

'&HRSuT WAS NUKE w iOS " ~ s"s~'
TO BUY
C. L o II II [ n q e,
HATS. CAPS. AND FURNISHING
GOODS OF
N. Elm STEIN,
"Ths Lit,l. Man Around the Cornet,
THAN NOW!
BOCcHT earsy and heavily. aud there
i fore obtained the yzcatest discounts, ahu
propose that my pAtTans shalt hS@e tuii
fbenetit Of my experience lime %as no
object, "a my point was ~ make - seiee-
tion that would plesse esaerrbody bath III
price aud quality of goods l AK 9our
Judgment OF, this, aud respectfully saiicit
your examination -af any entire stock,
which aua sure sill satisfy yoA
MORE AND BETTER GOONS
can be had,Nf mo
FOR LESS MONEY
thar 10 offered BY any house in the sieini-
ty. Ey
MEE'S .OXEliCOATS
.s.,sist o<the Aa0Sg SgFASHIONAEE de-
signs from IS to fW.
BOYS OVERCOATS
from $50 to $40. A full lire OF
NEN'S BUSINESS AND WORK SUITS
from. $5 To IS.
MEMS DRESS StHE,sFROM $40 W0 SO.
NY BOYS DEPARTMENT
consists af the choicest Of this SEASON. .
Novelties for
DRESS, SCHOOL AND PLAY USE
.t astonishingly low prices. NJ
ROOT AND SHOE DEPARTMENT
n we'll stocked with good aud durable
goods.
Nso's Coarse Shoes xl.o0 to 81. so.
Boots 800 II $50.
Bor,' l.5O 10 400.
Mem. Fine Shoes l.5O toe so.
Boots 37S TO $50.
HATS, TRUNKS, vALiSES AND CN-
BRELLAS
always ia stock, with full line Of
FURNISHING GOODS
At prices to suit all. Den't forget to call
and sec The Little NaF Around the Cor
ss~''-"The Cheapest Mar Oh Earth. !"
81. EESrEiN,
No. North Potomac ST.,
Hagesstown, Nd.
Oct. Il II
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-03
KID GLOVES,

IN All shsdes and styles. ] have the Foster
pstent SHOOK gloves a. low a g csnts. and up
10 fhe beet In CORSETS have good stock.
and for 80 cents have the boss OF all CorseS.
T.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-03
Fripges, Laces and Trimmings

Of Ali kinds, can please 81. In Ribbons my
stock 40 complete, from the ehsapest 70 The
beet To the ladies will cay that have IN
elegant stock OF
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1883-03-03
Notions and Fancy ';o,ds

I think am In the mont and the leader In Low
prices All ask 10 that you call and take
look. Ladies' Lace and silk Ties In endless
VARIETY ny stock of Gents Guns, Ties and
Rows 10 much more complete than the town
hss ever known. so come In and take look ~
them In the line Of
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1883-05-22

The last general a-s .mb,v of tho
Presbyterian church declared tha, the
cum Of 100000 wa. ucrdml for thr
home missionary cause during the
year then commencing. This sum
us- been raised by the church, aud
has been placed ina the treasury ui
The board Of home missions. The re-
ceipls for home missions aud susteu.
tation taken together exceed by lit
lie the sum OF 100000,
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1883-05-22

The health OF ga rlc-idw, J hgr-
SON Davis continue Zoo improve.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1883-05-22

I' faust .r core. SPOT ra.l.t ..--. p
j. sullivan 4 Cu.-Jl1u
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-10-31
ppetru.
" ~
BEFORE THE LEAVES FALL.

wonder if oak and maple,
Willow and elm and all,
Are stirred at heart by the coming
Or the day their leaves must fall?
Do they think nf the yellow whir,wind
Or know Of the crimson spray,
That shall he when child November
Bears all their leaves away?
Perhap' beside the water
fhe willow bends serene
As when her young leaves glistened
In mist of golden green;
But the brave Old oak is flushing
10 wlnc-red dark and deep,
And maple ana elm are blusliing
The blush of child asleep.
"If die we must" the leaflets
Seem one by one to say, ga
I'VE shall wear the color Of gladness,
Until we pass away"
No eye shall see us falter;
Aud before we lay it down
Wen wear. in the sight Of all the
Garth.
The years most kingly crown.
So trees of the stately forest
And trees by the trod,len way,
You are kindling into glory
This soft autumnal day;
And we who gaze remember
That more than all they lost,
So hearts and trees together :,
May come through the ripening frost.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-10-31
Closet Courtship.

The late Rev. DR.. Wightman, Of
klrmahoe, one night sitting later than
usual, sunk in the profundities of a
great folio tome, imagined he had
heard a noise in the kitchen inconsis-
tent with the quietude and security Of
a manse, so, taking his candle, he pro-
ceeded to investigate the cause. His
foot being heard in the lobby, the
housekeeper began with all earnest
ness to cover the fire, as if preparing
for bed.
"Ye're up late tonight, Mary"
"1'm just rakin' the fire, sir, and
gaun to bed"
"That's right, Mary; I like timeous
hours"
On his way back to the study he
passed the coal closet, and, turning the
key, took it with him.
Next morning, at an early hour,
there was rap at the bedroom door,
and a request for the key to light the
fire. III
"Ye're too soon up, Mary; go back
to your bed"
Half an hour later there was another
knock and a similar request in order to
prepare breakfast.
II don't want breakfast 50 soon I: 90
back to your bed, Mary"
Another half hour, and another
knock, with an entreaty for the key,
rs it was weshing day. This was
enough. He rose and handed out the
Key, saying:
"Go and let the man out"
Marys sweetheart had, as the minis
er shrewdly suspected, been imprison-
ID all night in the coal closet, where,
Pyrannis and Thisbe like, they had
their love to. each other
through the keyhole. = Yonkers
Statesman.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-10-31
PRINTING
JURY LIST.
State Of Lomeiaa1a, !
Parish Of Rapades. :

Be 1t kno,on and remembered that on
this the 22d day Of October, 4. D. 1888,
ace the undersigned Jury Commissioners,
duly qualified as such, IN and for the
aforesaid Parish and State, together acits
George 0. Watts, Clerk TeeJM Judicial
District Court, acho scas also sworm as
the lac directs, did meet IN the Court
House, IN the Clerks office, in the Ioscn
Of Alexandria, La., in obedience to an
order Of the Hon. w. F. BlacKman,
Judge Of the 1aoeyM Judicial District
Court Of date October 22d, A. D. 1888,
and did then and there proceed to druo
the names Of eighty additional Jurors
from the General Veaaire Boz, to serye
as jurors during the present, third and
fourth areeks Of the October Term ofHe
District Court no,o holding sessions 4.
ID. 1885,
Thirty additional Jurors to serue DURING
the third veek Of District Court, be-
ginning on Monday, the goth Of o.
t0ber, 4. d. 1888.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1883-10-31
Sixty THIRD Year
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