The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-11-12
THE MONDAY MAUNDERER.

! NOftu HeuUSElVanla street, near INC pdlhs ~
young man and young woman were walking to-
gether. They stopped. Something was the
matter with the feather on the young lady 3 hat.
She gave him pin to rasten it. He seemed q
very awkward young man, at any rate 1T TOOK
him long time TO fix the feather. The re-
| porter thinks he (this reporter) cOuld have done
| II in much less time and without fitting the nat
up so rakishly. But perhaps he Couldn't Inc
face under the hat was very pretty one
Much Indignation was expressed at the city IL
brary during the past week by nearly every
clergyman Of this city. One shepherd played
the role of the early bird and got all the Diet of
| Wurms. Fitting into the library he at one fell
| swoOp took away nine different books, all the
authorities on Martin Luther, to leave the rest
of the clergy lamentng 1t is alleged that the
| same spOier visited the house of a brother cler-
| gyman and in his absence rfed his library car
| rylng off ali his Luther ammunition. In conse-
quence of this raid on the public library n num-
Der OF our clergy have probably had to depend
| largely upon the cycOpedia Britannica. 1t
would hardly be fair TO indicate the guilty man,
| but the police, doubtless, have cew. Those
| who read the Luther sermons in the Journal
this morning will have no difficulty in spotting
the offender.
Some men are born to bad lack" said talker
| the other day. "NOw there was Mr -. who,
| after many losing deals, at last came out $1,000
ahead of the bucket shops and, making up his
mind TO quit put his money into the Indiana
| Banking Company. In two weeks the bank
closed its doors-and there he is" Said talker
No. 2: THAT reminds me of a young fellow who
one evening rode up to a cabin in the woods
where party of men were playing poker. He
noticed they were using grains of corn chips,
and remembering a corn CRIB lit
| tie way back, he turned his
horses head, went to the crib, drew out an ear.
| and shelled the grain into his pocket. few
| minutes later lie was in the game. at the first
deal he got good hand, and began backing it
strongly, when the dealer sang out, None o.
| that, stran GER you can't crowd any red corn
| into this game The young man went away
| at the crib. 1t was nearly half a mile lang, and
he had got the only red ear in it,"
''My first joke" said that hardened offender,
| j. Henry Rice, Auditor of State, "was when
was very small boy. A well-meaning lady in
our neigh3orhood, Mrs. Tuomey, had surprised
| her friends and cOnfounded her husband by Civ
| ing birth to trpets. Shortly after the
markable event. conducted by a brother
| of the trio, 1 went in to the
babies, to greet the proud mother with Good
morning, Mrs. Three-my,' whereupon was ener-
| geticaly shown the outside of the house. IL
was long time before the good woman fOrgave
me- My first practical joke was some time
after 1t was April Foors day. Going 10 school
| early in the morning tackled a nice little card
| on the door bearing the words, No school to-
| day. Scholar after scholar read it and went
| away. When the teacher came L AS the only
one IN school, Coming to my desk he laid his
| hand upon my head, and looking into my inno-
| cent eyes, he said The notice didn't fool you.
| You knew there was school to-day, didn't YOU,
| jimmy And after he drew me up and busted
my trousers, went out and kicked myself"
Deliverance is at hand. For several years the
question has been how to rid this city of its En-
| gish sparrOws. The shrlke or butcher bird has
! been suggested hut he comes high and is hard to
get During the past six weeks people who are
out late at night, reporters, hackmen and wiener
wursters, have heard weird, wild wailings on
the midnight air Sentinel reporters have taken
it that these bloodcurdling shrieks were emit
ted by maideus driven rapidly away" in mys-
terions hacks, and several policemen have been
seriously disturbed in their slumbers. 1t seems
| that number OF small ows-feathers and all
| have left the tall timber and come TO
| the city, where thew find first
class food and excellent sport in the fat and
| saucy sparrows This owl is one OF the least of
its whole genus but makes up in neatness and
general form and appearance for deficiency of
size, and Is shapely, dextrous little fellow that
| means business. He possesses eye equal in
! brilliancy and spirit to the best of his family,
and as ms slaughter of the sparrows will take
| place wholly in the nighttime the friends of
| those birds viii be spared the sight of their
| death agOnies
"There is style of story in the South" said
! Rev. Myron W. Reed, THAT has no counterpart
| in the North. II has an extravaganza that is
| shown In the Arkansaw Doctor and in the SUIT
| Lovengood sketches. Down in Tennessee made
| the acquaintance of a poor white-a careless,
STRAIGHTFORWARD, sallow- faced, lank, long-limbed
specimen. grit to the backbone. BY the way
| the bird that here call the woodpeeker is
J called the peckerwood down there. would like
to know exactly where the name changes 1
think it's some place in Kentucky, but it may be
the Ohio river is the line. It's hard to get good
Ticker down here now,' said the old man one
day in what took to be a burst of confidence.
| 4 used to go bout six miles down the creek take
two bushel o. shelled aud get drlnkin' Ticker
fur it. The man who run the still had Grist
mill. Last time went over thar / took the corn
| The miller was willing to trade, but said the
peckerwOods and jays was so bad I'd have to grind
the corn myself, and whatever thar was in meal
| he'd give in ticker. l went out in the brush and
| cut yarn load o. withes, skinned off my wam-
| mus and poured the corn into the hopper. The
| old mill had no sooner began to thump than the
jays and peckerwoods began to come. The sky
was black with 'em. Pound. pound went the
mill; swish, swish, swish went the withes. Wal,
when | got through only had a scant peck o.
meal (here he made a long pause), but, great
heavens! had Jays and peckerwoods clean up
! to my YARN pits!'"
One of the stories told by DR.. Dickinson. of
Richmond, Va, during the recent Indiana Bap-
! fist convention didn't get into print. The Doc
| tor spoke of the veneration in which old things
we're held in the South AS illustrating this he
! told of an enterprising young preacher who de-
! sired to replace warped, weather-beaten, ram
shackle old church by edifice. he had, on
two or three occasions got the congregation al
most to the point of acquiescene when old
| deacon would rise and object. He could nor sub
nit the destruction of a building about which
| chung many sacred memories; church in
| which his grandfather and grandmother had
| been married., where his father and mother had
| worshipped all the days of his life, and where
| lie himself had been baptized and married. This
| always proved "a dampener One day the young
| preacher tried again. The audience, warmed by
his appeal, were ready to go with the work
| when the deacon again arose ana ratified the