Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-01-04
A NOVEL
A Startling Scene in the Life OF .
broadway Illus Driver.

an dIOTe tudb uIls tho op"5S $3.50
Richfield Springs to Cooperstown
They call it a tallyho now, cause the
folks that patternises it is better dress.
ed. | took the rains there when ole
Fent Whipple dropped off. He was
buster. I've seen that man when he
felt well-whoa! Git out tho way, there
What ails youp You feed your horses
on sour mash, don't youp Go there your
self you'll need all the spare apart
ments,
ssWhat was | sayin. ? Oh, about bein
stopped. I've been stopped by the fun
niest things. The hull line was stopped
once, some twelve years ago by orders
of the Superintendent; then, in a few
minutes, when we vas ready to start
be hanged eff he didn't hav a fit, an W,
stood stock still five hours waitin fel
the order, while he was slowly comm
to.
"But / he'd a curisel' stop n that
They was a load in, an we was a trud'
lin along down by Barnum's Museum,
whar the Herral is now, when n mar
with a plug hat on and eyes bulgin' ont
SOS / seen 'em under the edge OF his
umbril jumps but of the ve-high-kel and
leaps to the head of the horses-I he'd
on a prancin' sorrel an gray-and
shouts, Stop, for Gods sakep
"sWat's up?' | inquired, camly.
"'No NATTER says he, you don't &c
no further
1.-The divel l DON'T saysI. Git out
o. the way, you highwaymanT and
reaches fer him with my CAD, which
was long an rather springy.
s'He lodges me, an lifts them horses
right up on their launches, SOS they
sot right down in the road.
81 was mad, you bet. Folks was
all around lookin' on. l ris right up
and uttered a few commonplace re-
marks, which | resort to only wen I'm
excited, and | went fer them horses.
welted 'em and yelled, an they Civ one
jump and landed as much as twenty
feet from the bus. Then two chaps
right down under me laughed a scorn-
full laugh and looked up at me. rec
o'nized am es passengers. Darned ef
they hadn't unlocked all the traces.
The chap es kitched the team still hill
onto 'em, and the rains I'd he'd to leggo
of was draggin' in the slush. ris
right up an exclaimed again in petty
much the same language | he'd used
afore, an called EN- pet names an de-
manded to know eff they wanted me TO
come right down there and lam 'em
till they couldn't tell themselves from a
last years corpse.
They laughed in a ridiculous kind
IF urorr aud told ma tharp xyaG n nIrelIG
and l. better stay up there. | he'd felt
the jerkin' of the bus, and now seen
that most all the passengers he'd got
out and was goan away through the
slush-the Teller with the fur-faced ov-
er-coat and plug hat on, the fat woman
with the bashet, the three young %fellers,
an the middle-aged woman with the
two children. an the young uns he'd q
kind of a s'prised look on Their faces, |
couldn't quit the box very well, fear I'd
be robbed. Wen the chaps that on
hitched the traces sed there was n cir
Gus, | looked all around, and says l.,
WHARF glancin' up the side street.
fright whar you be- says they.
whoa! Say. You'll Be you goan to
run me down? You ought to take
some lessons in driyin'! Oh, shet up!
You talk to muchl I'd like to knock
your head off and exhibit it es a pre-
MUM gourd.
What was | sayin'p Oh, yes.
Right where you be- says he, the cir
Gus is right here.
Il thought I'd be captured by a luna
tic asylum. Then the drivers IN the
other buses went to chafiin' me. Hell
10 Levi says one. Hav you fell in
with spirits?' What's upP What you
STAMINA here for?' asked another.
Then the chap that onhltched the nigh
trace, and who he'd been putin his
cigar ~contentedly all the while, flung
up a couple to me, and stopped the
next bus that went up, and spoke TO
the driver, sendin' some word to the
stable, l thought. Then the drivers
that came down seemed to hev all got
an idee, fer they laughed like mad wen
they got opposit to where | was settin'
sulkin', and one of 'em hollers, What
rent do you charger and another yelIs,
What's the shawls up to your windows
for?' and another says slyly, is it an
a-coach-mentP' and lots of other non
sensical things.
II had just begin to git a glimmer of
the situation wen the smokin' chap
climbs up and whispers to me. The
devil you say!' says 1. Yes says he,
set perfectly still"
"'rd like TO go and get a drink
says l.
There's a man come, says he,
that's interested in this affair, and he
asked me to git you a lunch at his ex-
pense.' Then he went and sent me
some hot fried oysters, and some sand
wiches, and some quail on toast, and
maccaroni, and some plum-pudd'n,
and ginger ale-the gayest lunch ! ever
he'd.
al don't like to take it, says l.
"'He's rich say he.
"'Tain't that says H. 'but this
place seems awful conspicuous. don't
like to be seen settin' here. | amt
proud, and | jest as liefs seek some
quiet, sequestered nook, says |, and
take q nip of gin and sugar by myself.
This seems like a kind of n sacred
place. says |.
Il heerd a kitten mewing about that
time, but | couldn't see it nowhere. |
looked up in the trees in front of St.
Paul's Church and down in the snow of
the gutter and tween the horses hitched
to the fence, and then | said, ''Wher's
that Kitten says /.
".Tain't no kitten says the chap
down under me, and then | see 'twasn't.
"Bendin' down to the strap-hole,
which had somethin stuffed in it, | sung
out, Another fare in there! mother fare
Lively now!.'
"a mans hand was stuck through
the hole and a $40 bill in it, and an
eye appeared .longside of it, and said
to me, Put that in your pocket, which
/ did. Then the eye continued, 'Wot's
your first name, driverp'
"'Lewis, SIR says l
livery well, says the eye; this boy
Is to be babtised Lewis Omnibus. And
he was. You get off here? He grow.
ed up and is now 81 or So years old,
engaged in jewelry down Maiden Lane.
He always gives me 50 at Christmas
Good-by.n