Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-06-22
OrR KALEIDOSCOPE,

And II. when she has nicely slowed
Three glasses out Of sight
she WAKES pale, and says, 81 scream T
Why, let her-serves htr right.
fortune teller-the teller of bank.
Red parasols are all the rage now-vitl
gentlemen cows.
| Mule man,
| Kick-that's all.
Funeral when
| Pieces fall.)
| A garden party-the gardener
| A girl in Trenton ran hundred yards in
ten and quarter seconds. 1t is supposed
that she saw mouse
Hard to beat-the boy with section Of
stove-pipe in his trousers.
| 1--WE take our own gait" says an exchange
In which respect you differ from the boys
who go out on cabbage night
When crow gets in among the sprouting
corn, the prospect is that his crop, not the
farmers, will be heavy.
1t "a said that I'f you play on an accordc-
on near an oyster the oyster will open its
| shell" We shouldn't blame it if gol up and
| opened the door.
A Western man has named his mule Oscar
Wilde Blamed outrage on the mule.
Virgins says the Goth of July will be the
hotties, day.of the season. People will do
well to have their kindling wood all laid in
the stove on the evening Of the lob
A New York doctor says that the silk hat
has brought about more cases Of caturlh and
throat trouble than all other things combn-
cd. Oh, by the way, doctor--docs carrying
| red silk handkerchief make ones toc-nais
grow in
The Chinese language has no substitute for
the word hell In fact, it don't need any,
the original is so very expressive.
Somebody put a cleverly painted rIbbtr
doughnut in plate of boarding house nut
| cakes, and the man who got it told the land
lady that if she would have such fresh cal es
| as that every month he would get ler six
more boarders
"Who can gaze upon n widows ears ~
walls newspaper poet. Dunno we never
saw any.
"llow can restore a pur of faded ants?'
John. Take them back to the man you
| stole them from.
Vanderbilt back Wonder if he used
our letter of introduction to the Queen,
A New York tailor has fed from the city
1t is supposed that lie was threatened by al
irate dude customer.
The Republican nominee in Ohio says tina
he will "rake the whole State" Here is
chance for the farmers to get their haying
done cheap.
A subscriber suggest that ''pocket guide
should he put upon every woman's dress, fol
the convenience Of the other sex.
A woman in Jersey City was arrested fol
throwing stones. They were afraid sh'
might hit something a, accidentally.
"Cau you give me the address Of deae
in old coins: y Subscriber We believ,
the United States Government has scvera
hundred tons of old buzzard collars it woult
like to dispose OF cheap
An Ohio boy was recently run over by
funeral. lie was carrying Geographic mes
sage into the suburbs.
Arab Bcy wears a hat made ofpalm leaves
Arab is evidently hard up since the war.
why did Washington stand up Will,
crossing the Delaware John. TIL,
thwarts were icy, and he didn't want TO we
the seat of his pants.
An exchange suggests that one Of the tor
lures of the wicked, hereafter, will lie straw
berries in 25 cent boxes Whether or con
temporary refers TO the hot quarters or In
size of the boxes, we are unable to maxi
out.
Black eyes arc all the fashion now. Pro
fessor Sullivan of Boston introduced them
and has just furnished his wife with a pair
Josh Billings once received 800 for lively
words. Alas why did we ever learn t.
spell
We have heard the correct and we hav
heard the clarinet, and we admit that the
can make some noise, but for pure volume q
tone, irrespective of music, We never hear
anything that quite came up to the hornet i
the seat of mans trousers.
A Kentucky man has ordered case
live rattlesnakes from wrigglug Pennsy
vania locality. He says that if whiskey
to be prohibited except for snake bites, Il
means TO have his locality well supplied
An invitation was recently sent out for i
the citizens of Kentucky who were not co
ones to assemble at the depot in Louisville
for mass meeting. The attendance was :
small that an adjournment was had to a
adjacent switch-house where tile three civi
ians drank each Others hcallhs in 10 Gel
bottle of beer, and returned to their pcacefl
homes.
r An exchange has n sort of interrogatory q
q ticle on GLOW to Beat Butler" Fist cate
4 your Butler
j 1t is said that the Princess Louise coul
earn her living as servant girl. We vi
make note of it-but should require Iefc
cnccs, just the same.
c A wine merchant in Leipsic keeps u poe
: Horace would have given all his old tog'
for such a sit.
1t is ridiculous 10 note upon what sma
pretcxts engagements aic somllncs broke
up. A Philadelphia woman refused to ma
~ her man because she heard that he III
bought an old coffin, ami mounted it on roc
ers for cradle.
GA min nal spliut has been disc lyercd