The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-04-25
WIT AND PLEASANTLY.

WIT AND PLEASANTRY.
A bald headed man 80 white-hAired
one: "Your head is covered deep with
snows; but mine is winter-killed."
Two styles of consolation. name
"Just what 1 expected" A woman's-"I
told you how it WOULD bs.''-The Judge.
An old lady was asked her opinion about
Mrs. Smith, her next door neighbor.
"Well," she qaid, 81 am not the one 70 speak
i'll of anybody, but 1 feel very sorry Tor Mr..
Smith,"
Mrs. n ION being comp,imented on the
charms of her daughters )-"Yes, sir, they're
we'll enough looking girls. Some ad-
mires the bronze and isome the blu
nettes.'"
An "unmerged" women st the West, who
applied for position as driver of a street
car, was asked if she could manage mules
"Of course can" was the ready reply, 81
have had two husbands"
At Sslida, Mo-, a woman won $50 on .
bet that she could chop cord of wood
sooner than q certain man. She would have
lost her wager, however, if there had been
in that vicinity a back yard fence with
another woman leaning over it.-New York
Commercial.
Authors wife (at Long Branch to her
Irish maid)-I say, Honors, where csn Mr..
Inkslasher be2 1t is past lunch time.
W hat can be keeping him away so along?
Maid-Ochl shure, don't worry, ma'sm;
he's only down beyant there, at the batch,
decomposin.
She he'd Just visited the studio of sn
artist famous for painting interiors, and shs
was going into raptures over his work.
"Then you think him great psinter1'
Delightful So much feeling such good
color. His iDsides are just too charming
for snythingI'
A man who had thumped bis wife until
she died of broken heart sought to deceive
his friends by having an excellent photo.
graph of her copied in oil eolors and OK.
hibiting it rs proof of love and fidelity
allow does that look2' he said to o friend;
"do you think that can be beat2" "Noi
now" was the sarcastic reply
Another for Lady Florence Dixie: ats q
lonely rosd you have to take coming home
tonight, John2' said his wife, with an anx.
ious expression. "Yes," he replied; Every
lonely" "And you might be attacked by
assassins" che added, clasping her arms
around his neck, as if she were 10th to lei
him go. 81 might" said John. Then,
she continued, "you had better put on one
Of my corsets before you start"
| A Caution to Mothers. Mrs. Tomlinson
| Ito extremely eligible young lsdy) SIN
sure you'll like my son Richard, my dear
Miss Goldmore Not that he's exactly bill
liant, you know, but he so steady and coed
Spends all his evenings at home, and al
ways in bed by eleven He has never given
me an hours unessiness in his lifel' "Good
graciousl" exclaims Miss Goldmore, and in.
stsntly conceives for Richard fraEtic aver
sion.-Punch.
Convalescence: / was told story yester
| day of a gentleman who has the misfortune
of being married TO lady as large as Lady
Jane and as vigorous, and who, furthermore,
is credited with physically chastising her
lego lsrd upon certain occasions. He waE
met on the street by an acquaintance.
"Row is your wifeP" inquired the friend.
"She is now dangerously ILL.," was the
mournful reply. A month later the pair
met again. "How is your wife9" quoth the
friend onece more. "She is now danger
ously well" significantly replied the mourn.
full husband.-Albany Express.
At dinner st one of the hotels yesterday
we're two ladies in conversational mood.
One was relating to the other her frat ex.
perience with a sewing machine. She said
''The machine came while ma was out. !
thought it would be such surprise to her
if learned tn run it before che returned.
SO took the instruction book and began. /
tresded it all right and set the tension and
got the belt fixed and then looked to zee
what next. The book said, turn the wheel
toward the OPERATOR then ! was stuck.
looked the machine all over, but where the
operator was or what 1t was like was more
than l could find out. While thus engage !,
ma returned, and when she explained to me
i never felt so cheap in my life"