Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-06-07
WIT AND WISDOM.
Government pastry-a mint spy.


Learn your business thoroughly.
Keep at one thing-in no vase change.
Any raw recruit can write about face
by preparing an essay on Cheek.
Why are bores ike bees2 Because
we love them best when they leave.
One swallow doesn't make a summer.
out toad often makes spring.
A California man choked himself to
death with q tape measure. The
coroner's verdict was that he died by
inches.
Grease is an excellent lubricator, but
who ever saw creased pig that didn't
squeak?
People who think themselves smart
go about asking questions like this:
"Csn a rope walk?' Wesay yes-when
it is taut.
Many who changed their place Of res
idence the first of the month have
already discovered that they May day
mistake.
A soldier expects to face the music
when he goes into battle; but when he
gets in he finds the music has gone to
the tent.
care yor juryman?" asked the
clerk of the court OF an Intrusive Irish
man. "No, sir, I'm drayman," re-
piled the latter.
A genius advertised "a sewing ma
chine for % cents in stamps" and his
dupes did not see the point until they
received cambria needle.
a paper has started the discussion
when men should marry. Our idea of
the proper time is when they get the
girls consent and the money to pay the
minister.
Earn money before you spend it;
never buy what you do not waht-adopt
the "pay-as-you-go" principle, and
never deviste from it.
Buy, subscribe to, and read AL that
is necessary to fully inform yourself on
the dolngs, discoveries and reforms oil
the age in which you live.
If You ask q bald-headed man how
he would prefer to be upholstered, he'll
likely express q desire for mo -nair on
top of his head.
A man in the central Office of the
telephone company says that the noise
there is different from young lady al
party, for one is ballroom belle anC
the other is a bedroom bawl.
Troops have just been ordered to ar
rest and disband the belligerent Greeks
IN the Indian Territory. If they sue
coed in arresting the creeks, they shoulC
be called upon to put down the destruc
tive rivers in the Onio Valley the mex
time they get on rampage,
Housemaid-"I does my heart gooC
to see you and the baby together. IT.
pretty picture. Sure, ard he's tn,
image of you" Fond mother-"Bu
they all say that he looks like hi
father, Mary" Housemsid-"B les
your soul, mum, he's not half cookbook
ing enough for that"
A Plattsburg On. Y. dentist recently
received by mail an order for set o
teeth, which reads as follows: any
mouth is three inches across and five
Fights of an inch throggh the jaw
Sum hummocks on the edge. Shaped
like horse shoe, toe forward. If wisf
mo to be more paIticlar shall hav t.
come thar"
The following good story is told o
the Secretary of the San Francisco
Philharmonic Society: A gentleman
rang his door bell one evening recent
ly, and asked if a Mr.. - lived there
NO" said the intensely musica
Henry, pointing up the street, che live
about an octave-I mean eight door
higher"
Plantation Philosophy: We neve
feel so mad artel we shed tears. d
cloud amt nigh so dark arter the rail
falls. Many a'oman what won't wasl
her chillun at home delights in waship
dishes at church fair De worst sor
of boastfulness is showed by de ma
what thinks dat he can entertain yoI
wild long story. Oar is many a rul
what wont work both ways. No ma
should be looked on as q fool on &C
count oh what he doan' belebe, but o.
account OBJ what he does belebe. A TO
easiness oh cow cton ter strange idea
is caused mighty heap OBJ trouble i