National Republican., 1883-03-06
ANeLoNrANIA.
Some Advice to Its American Victims
Tho Use and Pronunciation OF Words
The Dress OF Gentlemen and OF Servants.
Cockdiqne IN Argonditt.

An American who wishes to pass for an |
Englishman, before other people than his own |
countrylnen, must carefully observe the fol-
lowing rules: He must call his father the |
guv'nor"; he should not be sick, but ill'; he
should call coal "coals'; a pitcher jug; a !
sack coat Jacket; pantaloons, trousers;
(never pants); a vest "waistcoap (pro-
nounced uesc,t) an undershirt Jersey;
suspenders, braces; and all shoes "boots."
He must sneak of an expert driver as a good
whip" and good rider rs good
"seat." He must never fail to mark the
distinction between riding and driving and
remember that no one in England ever rides,
except on horseback. TO therefore speak of
riding is quite sufficient, TO add 'on horse
back" is superiluOus TO an Englishman. lie
must never by any possible chance forget to
call the Thames Items" Derby DARBY"
Berkely "Barkley,",' Bette ,",Bartie, waltz
"valse," Holburn "Hoburn," Mary-le-bone
"Marrabun,' Pail Mall "Pell Nell" Hcrtford
Hartford" st. Leger "Sallinger" ST. John
(when used as persons name) Sinien," and
Woolwich "Woolich." Ho must not put u
stress on the ches in Manchester or Winches-
ter he must know all the grades of nobility,
from n duke down to a baron, and never COM
nit the egregious error of calling baronet or
knight either a nobleman or lord. When
ho takes "a bath he must "have tub; he
must keep to the left when he drives, even
though he infringcs the law of the road in his
own country, and must rise in his stirrups
when, in riding, he trots. IIc must
be familiar with all the technlcanues
and proficient in the lingo of hunting,
shooting rowing cricket, and lawn tennis as
IL is done in England. If thing is amusing
or provocative of mirth, he must say it Is
"rathor fun" and if he finds 9. man agreeable
his limit of praise must never exceed "a de,
cent sort of chap" or mot half bad fellow"
He must call pound "quid," and shill-
ing "bob" But he cannot be too cautious
as to slang, and should be sure IL is not cad
dish" before he uses il. Tho sayings of al of
Sullivan and Gilberts operas are safe enough,
but there are many which come out in ques-
tionable comic songs, at the second rate thea
ters and music halls, that no gentleman is
ever heard to make use Of. Fetching is
word that should never be given utteranco TO
in the hearing of ladies. A railroad should
always be 4 railway" in England, and the
Anglomaniac must not omit to call it so. lie
must also speak of the ears as the "train," a
baggage car rs luggage van," freight
train as goods train" and must never al
lude to n station as depot. He must call the
track the line" and the rails the "mctals,"
and speak of switching as "shunting" of n
switch tender as n "pointsman," the conduc-
tor as the guard" the ticket Office as the
booking" office, and of a horse car as II
tram" He must never get mad but always
"angry," nor should he forget that the name
of the poet Cowper is pronounced Cooper ;
that Magdalene college, Oxford is called
"Mawdlin, ;" Caius college, Cambridge, Keys"
and that the proper pronunciation of Glamis
is "Glaymes."
When he goes to tho opera or theatcr the
orchestra seats must be designated as stalls,
the dress circle as the 'boXes,' and the par
quette as the pit" For guess" he must use
'lancy" and imagine" and studously shrink
from such expressions as quite while,
"rcal nice" side whiskers," "is that so ~
and "why certainly" He must be sure TO
leave out "wine," when he speaks of port or
sherry, and should he wish for ice cream, he
must ask for "an ice" fhe is in good health
he must be "it"; if ill, ''seedy"; if over tired,
knocked up" If u person has good taste,
and is well bred, or II thing is done in accord
ance with the rules Of good breeding or good
taste, both are good form; if the reverse
bad FORM" Should he find himself in diff
Guilty, he must be "up tree" and every
thing troublesome and disagreeablc is "hard
lines" lie must call lunch "luncheon," and
the parlor the drawing room" and must drol
no except when it comes after 40, in such
words Us which" "whcn," "wherc," what,
whether" white" and whisky" IL,
should also carefully avoid sounding his fina
RS. Should he come to England, nc must
keep away from the neighborhood of the
never be seen east of Regent street. He must
never, by any possible chance, when speaking
sound / as in OF, or he will ut once be pu
down rs u we'll dressed cabman, counter
Jumper or bus conductor of the trucst cock
ney strain His drink must be brandy and
soda, which he must call "B. and S." and hi
tobacco, "Cavendish," or "birds eye" Whisky
he must call Spirits" and should he ndulg,
in il, he must never fail to ill up his tumble
TO the top with water,
As for his dress, well, an English tailor
and there are loads of them in America-.wil
help him out of that difficulty. If he get
his clothes made by Pool, as l hear man,
young Americans do, he will have no trouble
that is if Pool really makes them, which is no
always the case with his foreign customers,
have been told One or two things, however
he should crystallize in his BRAIN never T.
wear other than II high silk hat with II frocl
coat, or a low crowned hat with n JACKIE
sack. To reverse this rule will ruin him Il
once. Let him not imagine that the posses
sion of II "crutch stick will aid him in hi
endeavOrs to oXpatriate himself The articl
in question was all the rage in London som
years ago, but it has long gone out of fashion
so long, in fact, that the carrying of one by
London swell would be almost equivalent {
appearing in peg-top trousers and turn-ove
shirt collar. LASTLY, he must never wea
either square toed boots or fob chain. L
short, let him note the dress of the Englis
gentlemen Yho visit America every year, an
pay no heed to the gigantic stripes and man
moth checks displayed by wandering actor
and commercial travellers. One always wi
he in simple good taste; the other vulgar an
loud. One will represent st. James stree
and Pail Mall; the other, Cheapside and tn
Strand.
lust n word as to his servants liveries
will be necessary TO bear in mind that me
servants in an English house are either (whl
Is termed) "in livery" or "out of livery
OF indoor servants, the butler is out of Ii,
cry that is to say he always dresses in plai
clothes, and is never seen in dress coat ii
dinner time. But footmcn must wear liver,
OF outdoor servants, only coachmen an
grooms are in livery; gardeners never
gor the lyeries themselves, it is u tcklish ma
Der TO deal with in a republic, should fame,
They are at best but badge of serytude, an
any attempt at them | consider quite beneat
the true dignity of an American citi2el
Still, If the AnglOmaniac must have then
aud is unfortunate in the non-possession
family arms TO guido him rs to cOlors, shoul
say, let him make them rs simple MS possible
the more dark blue, and the less sky blu
scarlet, yellow, or green, he has about thcl
the better Let him be miser with III
bright buttons, and put no bands round Ill
hats, not even silver, (yelvet is simply eNerI
blcl and unless crest, nothing should 90 o
the buttons, A monogram on servants liver
buttons or ON the carriage panels, when con
bincd with the velvet hat band, especial,
stamps u man directly. But few people /
England have the right TO put n coCkadO O