The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-08-14
WOODsFIELD, MONROE COUNTY,,
sdeft Sturv.
HIS PET Aversion.

HIS PET AVERSION !.
81 wonder who arst invented honse-
cleaning," eroaned Mr.. Merton. 'sWbe;
ever he was hope he died in lunatic
asylum! Slippers 10 the bureau drawer,
in my shirt; inks,and under the bed !;
dressing gown nobody knows where /;
chairs oil tied up ln Holland wrappings,
and nothing to sit on but the top OF q
hat box! And. worse than all. carpess
ru'hlessly wreached up, and door all
deluged with damp soapsuds, enough 10
give man rheumatism and neuraIeis
for the whole remaining term Of bis nat.
ural life! Job might have had greet
many trials to test his patience-I have
MT o doubt OF that-but there Was one
trial he didn't have. l never read in
scripture that Jobs wife cleaned house
That's q modern aegravation! / mean
to marry nice girl and make it q stipu.
Iation beforehand that we won't turn oul
house upside down, on principle, twice
in year M e "'9i>7N sa"l
Mr. Merrjon soliloquizad Thus as hs
stood befofk the mirror smoothing hi-
brown curly locks with his fingers il
lieu of the hair brush, which no amaun
of-searcif had proved available 10 find-
ing. 1,n'esr s,-. I,
Not so bad,looking after all, in spite
Of bis seyen.and.thrty years, be coulC
not but tell himself as he stood there
Dark brown hair waved at the ends
br; ght hazel eyes, clear complexior
albeit somewhat touched with brown
and square chiE cleft with deep dim-
pie in the center; an old bachelor, ye
not irredeemably so. While there !.
life there is hope, and the aggravated
torments Of life in boarding-houss
we're slowly but surely driving him to-
ward bis destiny.
Old Mrs. Grimshaw, the landlady ,was
at the head OF the vesper banquetiDg to,
ble pouring out decoction OF weak tea
into an array of Clipped stone chins
cups as Mr.. Morrison entered. She
greeted him with happy smile.
"Of COURSE Mr. Morrison, you're
quite delighted to see how finely we have
got along cleaning courtroom /" B
"No, ma'am, Tn not" our hero made
answer, gruffi7: II regard house clean;
ing as an invention of the Evil One, and
I don't care who knows it,"
The assembled gentlemen OF the es;
tablishment murmured unanimous con-
sent. the assembled ladies rolled up
their eyes and wagged their teaspoons 10
pious horror
"Dear me-" sighed the landlady, 'hoH
peculiar men are! NV dear departed
Grimshaw never breathed word of OBJ
lection to spring cleaning; in fact, he
used 10 help me at white washing, and
papered the walls with bis o wn hands &,
"And he died, didn't he, ma am p M
ter.up,ed Merton.
"Yes, he died." said Mrs: Grimshaw;
"but il was Of gout in the stomach and
at the age of 52!'
"Ah!" said Mr., Merton supulchrally.
Sand there's no saying how much Ion
ger he might have lived if it hadn't been
for spring cleaning.'
"Nothing Of the kind r. cried Mrs.
Grimshaw indignantly, and she began 9
detailed account of the symptoms and
signs which had accompanied the last
days OF the deceased Grimshaw to the
ladies' immediately around her. under
cover of which Mr.. MerIion swallowed
bis tea and effected his escape.
"a man must be made of cast iron to
endure this thing much longer" said he
10 himself strolIing out into the May air.
Il won't continue solitary, alone in the
worlds .grest procession, any longer
IN become married man"
-Four blocks off. in cozy little old
fashioned house, whose original self OF
red brick was nesrly concealed by wings,
additions and bay windows, all covered
with trumpet-creeper, wisteria and brown
honey -suckle, dwelt pretty
young widow, sweet-voiced and passing
AIR to look upon.
"I'll propose % Mrs. Tyson," said
,uf hero, sand I'll do it at once"
Mrs. Tyson vas not at home, but the
servant maid who opened'the door was
luite certain that.itl MIR. Merton would
,nly walk in and waita few minutes her
mistress would return s-vt-
SO Mr. Merrion walked into the sunny
'oom where tue pussy cat lay purring on
he rug before the fire, and window
Itand full OF daffodiIs and primr0ses
made the air sweet, and the Widows
open portfolio, with sheetsof ls' ender
PAPER strewn about, betokened her most
eeent occupation so
: "An idear said Mr., Merrion. 81
,ever was quick at turning a sentence,
mi 1t is-decieedly awkward TO. 60 do en
lpon ones knee. will write the event.
ul questions:
..MY DEAR MRs TYSON: Will you
marry mep And xilliynu accent my as
Iurance OF sincere deS1tion, now and
or all am not an eloquent man, but
believe / could make any woman hap
" who loved me and whom loved
)f the. latter fact ! am quite certain in
eeard to you; of the former it remains
or ven to-assureF me- ~ 81
II shall meet you at Mrs. Grimshsw's
o-morrow evening she has told me you
ire coming to Tea. If2yon answer the
irst question / ask you Yes I shall
Know that You love me; otherwise,
hall not press my suit. Yours truly,
JOHN MERTON.
P.S.-Would you N nd entering into
IN agreement never TO clean house after
We are married7 l have a horror OF
,ouse-cleaDing."scsEL
Mr. Msrnn sealed Up the letter, iu7
vardly, bewailing himself over the big
lot he had dropped, like an inky tear,
IN the words, Yours truly. @i1zfsei
"But it is bad luck to write thing of
hat kind twice over" be said to himself
uperscribing the letter, Mrs Cora Ty-
Ion,' and placing it where her eye would
,e certain to light upon it the first thing
And then be took his departure.
l. was quite dusk when Mrs. Tyson
,ame in the hall an h ur after ward, and
ho eoruopt maid uoo lioht;n,, thc hall