Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-10-18
SQUIBS.

Tered seriously III consequence.
GENERAL SHERMAN has returned to
Washington from MS extensive tour
of travel through the western noun
tains and plains and on the Pacific
coasts In ITO days he travelled 10, CTS
miles.
AS Mr.. VENNOR made q complete
failure of the Weather-prophecy bust
ness for last summer, will he now be
kind enough to give US a rest, and not
make us uncomfortable by predicting
q severe winter?
AS GREAT BRITAIN will require 15O,-
100000 bushels of foreign wheat be
fore the next harvest, and the crop of
Europe as a whole is less than it was
a year ago, the demand for American
wheat ought to be brisk, and our en-
tire surplus will doub less be market
ed at prices satisfactory to producers
and promihve Of trade generally.
A BOY IN dorchester, Mass, adver
tlses that the lady who gave him a
$3.50 gold piece mistaken it for a
penny-for holding her horse can get
$2.49 by applying at the Spy office.
One Of the hammers IN a PittSburg
mill strikes nearly ninety-ton blows.
On this account 1t is known among
the Wor1mcn as the ''stepmother
They are putting up steam whistle
near it that will be heard eight miles
The name for this is ready. It's the
'mother-in-lawo
SANKEY would have none but Chris
tan ch0irs in church He says that
when he and Moody went to England
they sent word to the places where
they were to hold meetings, that they
wanted piONS singers only. So far as
they departed from that rule they did
not produce good results.
4 CURIOSITY of divorce legislation is
found in the act of Georgia, passed
March Is, 1865, just before the confed-
eracy collapsed, to the effect that di-
yOrce may be granted to loyal females
whose husbands are in the service of
the United States, or have been vol
unfairly within the lines of the enemy
giving them aid and comfort.
In San Rafael, a suburb of San
francisco, there was found Friday the
skeleton of d young man incased in
stylish garments It was in a sitting
position, with a hay rope about its
neck, the end OF which was attached
to the limb of q tree overhead The
man IS supposed to have been dead six
or eight months.
Some boys recently tied dish-pan
to dogs tail by long rope, and the
dog picked the pan up in histeeth and
ran quietly down behind a barn.
craWled under it and went to sleep in
the pan. The dog just opened his
mouth and smiled away back to his
hips when he saw the pan purloiner's
mother come out and grab the young
miscreant by the neck, and hammer
him long and hard with the end of
picket that had several nails sticking
through it.
Herbert Spencer says Americans are
so driven by business that they never
stop to leisurely examine anything.
Guess he never saw 500 or 600 busy
Americans standing around for two
hours watching three men raising an
Office safe to a fOurth-story window
If there is anything that breaks UP
the sellght of a large dog it is for him
to try to get under fence through a
very small hole, and when he gets
get no further, and then to hear a
crowd OF boys yell ''Ki-ya" at him,
and to know that they are hostile by
the bricks that lands Oh the fence and
pretty near lOOsens his teeth. That is
the time that he knows he can't get
good purchase with his hind legs and
90 through, and if he tries to 90 back
through he will only scalp himself
and knock his eyes out on the bottom
board of the fence It is time when
a dog has to think hard and fast.
Here y are, now; two packages for
10 cents" yelled a seedy looking en-
velope peddler IN Grand street.
Here yare, this way; two packages
for five cents" hoWled another envel-
Ope-peddler almost crowding his fell
low-merchants off the sidewalk.
Women out shopping noted the diff
erence III prices, and soon bought out
the tWo-fOr-five-cent man.
Then both peddlers drifted around
the corner, and the one who had sold
no envelopes divided his stock with
the other, remarking, with chuckIe:
1t works boss, pard, don't it?"
= self-actlng sofa, just large enough
tortwo, has been invented If pro
perly wound up it viii begin to ring a
warning bell just before 10 o'clock.
At one minute after 10 it splits apart,
and while One-half carries the daught-
er of the house up stairs, the other
half kicks her young man out of
doors. They will come high, but the
people must have them.
A patent medicine manufacturer
died IN New York last week. Before
he died his friends asked him how he
would like to be buried. He had Just
strength left to say, Insert me top
column next to reading matter fifty
two times electro by mail, " and then
he closed his eyes and passed away to
the bourne where there are no omis-
sions or wrong insertions.
President Arthur celebrated his SD
birthday by receiving many callers at
the Fifth Avenue hotel, New York,
and driving with his son, Chester A.