Connecticut western news., 1883-07-04

The death of Charley Backus, the min strel; recalls eof his jokes, Backus and others were invited by Sothern to meet MT. Lee, the husband of Adelaide Neil. son, at supper in fashionable hotel. MT. Lee, an inoffensive young man with a deep reverence for antiquity, had been told that they were members of the first families. During the wine, quarrel sprang up, knives, tomahawks and pis- tols were drawn, shots were fired, and the deception was kept up so well that MT. Lee escaped from the room and re- ported to the landlord that the first fam- flies were killing each other. N WHERE TO SPEND THE SUMMER. When MT. Topnoody had settled down after supper Thursday evening, his wife, after a few preliminary coughs, re- marked:
 ''Mr. Topnoody, have you thought anything about where we would spend the summer?'
 ''Yes, my dear, I have given the sub- ject some deliberation. "
 "And have you decided on place, dear ?"
 s'Yes, love, I have"
 "Oh, you sweet thing! Where is it to be?'
 "At home, love; the dearest place on earth, the conservatory of our affections ln which bloom the freshest, fairest flow CTS of hope and happiness. contentment and satisfied serenity ."-7he Drummer. A PLAUsIB1E REASON.
 As little Johnny was coming into the rear side door of his house, it being muddy outside, his mother asked:
 ''Did you wipe off your feet?"
 "No, mama, responded Johnny.
 "Why not?" asked the mother.
 "Cause if did, wouldn't have any feet, that's the reason. Iwiped offemy shoes, though. "-Ke'atucky Journal.
 THE OTHER FELLOW.
 Johnny had come home from school several times within a month with vari- ous bruises on his face and body received in fights with his school-mates, and on the last occasion his mother threatened him with severe punishment if he ever engaged in fight again. Only a few days after the small chap appeared with black eye, and scared by the stern ma ternal greeting, "Well, sir2" he departed from his usual truthful ways, and stam- mered:
 ''I fell down and hit my head on a stone."
 ''And which got the worst of it ?" asked his big brother.
 "Oh, the other fellow, you bet," an- swered Johnny, briskly. ''He's gone home with two black eyes,
 A PRESCRIPTION.
 If the members of the medical frater- nity desire to know in what estimation their abilities are held by the sick of the country, let them read the testimonials endorsing patent medicines. According to the testimonials, every first-class physician in the country has failed to effect cures that some patent medicine has performed as easy as rolling off log. If the leading physicians would only think to prescribe patent medicines, how vastly better it would be for their regulations.
 SHE OBJECTED.
 A Hudson County graveyard superin- tendent tells of a local widower that wanted to be buried with his darling. He tried to jump into the grave, and the men had great difficulty in restrain ing him. As soon as the funeral was | over he hastened to marble-cutter and | ordered $500 monument. Five weeks later, he came to me and asked me to | accompany him to the marble-cutter's. l went, and when we reached there l was surprised to hear him say to the | marble-cutter, T don't think it neces- | sary to have so expensive monument. , The cutter informed him that the block had been purchased and the work con- Still he insisted on cutting down the expense. I took him aside and asked him why such change in five weeks. Well, said he, T will tell you. Last night I married my servant girl, and she objects to my spending so much.'"
 SONNY, COME HOME.
 A college student, writing home to his father, told how his class and another class got hold of arope, at opposite ends, and how his class beat the other class pulling. The old man unused over the letter awhile, and replied as follows: 'I'm mighty glad to hear that you can pull so strong. was afeered that you couldn't stan the tug when you went thar, an i'm mighty much pleazed. i've got ole mule that's got such turf mouth that never could blow him. want you to buck agin him, an i'm willin' | to bet you ken output him. Come home immegitly. "-Arkans0so 1raveler. !