The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-05-23
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
It's better to have loved some girl,
It matters not how SMALL,
Than to have lost lpveis giddy whirl,
AID ~, saao.1 -, ~ Z. ,S.,.L .ar1 ton

W..
Than to have lost loveis giddy whirl,
And missed both short and tall.
A Polish novelist has written $50
stories. No one ever thought so many
stories could be put on one pole.--
Picayune.e
He: Goodbye, Miss Smith, I'm
sorry 1 have to leave so soon." She:
I'm very sorry, too; but still, part
ingi such sweet sorrow "--HarrGrd
LGmRDOn.
"Now is the time to subscribe"
said the editor, as he led his wealthy
bride to the marriage register and
showed pen into her trembling hand.
--Ne,O York Ne1CS.
When Mrs. F. asked for new bon
net, Fogg promptly refused. "a man
and wife are one," he said, land it is
duty to practice self-denial upon all
possible occasions"
Wendell Phillips hopes that the day
will come when no man will smoke on
the streets. The day will certainly
come. 1t will be here as soon as there
are no men and no streets.
In Italy cabman is only permitted
to charge fifteen cents an hour. But,
then, the traveller usually pays him a
dollar to cancel the contract after
riding ten minutes
Canada claims owls so big that they
attack men. This Canada fiction was
probably started by some woman to
keep her husband home at night
] DbsJ1JaJ,ah;o nha.n,aSoJo- Uo,.oId
"What fools the girls are to marryl"
said a single lady of mature years.
"Very true" replied her married
friend, "but that is the only way you
can bring them to their senses. hos
tan Transcript.
A lecturer, discoursing on the sub
ect of "Health," inquired "What
use can man make of his time while
waiting for a doctor?" Before he
could begin his answer to his own iD-
quiry, some one III the audience crieo
out "He can make his will WGifS.
They tell of a boy in the South whose
feet are so hot that they will heat a
bucket of water in ten minutes. He
is probably a son of the NAL who can
make a tub of water boil by merely
inserting his nose in it. Both cases
are remarkable. .-NoTTiSt0aD Herald.
A visitor in the country seeing
very old peasant woman doing at her
cottage door asks little boy of six or
seven, who happens to be playing near
by, how old she is. 81 can't say, sir"
replies the child, politely "but she
must be very old. She has been here
ever since l can remember"
A New York woman has been
awarded $4,000 damages in a suit
against dentist, who broke her jaw
bone while extracting tooth. The
award for damages is not too heavy.
A broken jaw-bone is serious thing
to woman-particularly to married
woman MiddJetOl0n Transcript
A novel mode of advertising for
wife has been adopted by an inhab
itanS of an English provincial town
A photograph of the gentleman Is
placed in the window of a shopkeeper
and underneath is the following mo-
tice: WANTED, a female companion
to the above. Apply at this office"
George ElOJ wants IO Know WndI
furniture can give such finish to a
room as tender woman's face We
will tell you, Georgia grand piano,
an ebonized screen on which is en-
broidered an old gold stork eating a
sky-blue Chinaman, ard "A fine old
table covered with an epicurean
feast.-Patck.
A short time ago, at school in the
north of England, during lesson on
the animal kingdom, the teacher put
the following question. Can any
boy name to me, an animal of the
order indentata; that is, front tooth
toothless animal ?" A boy, whose
face beamed with pleasure at the pros
pect of good mark, replied : Z" can. "
"Well, what is the animal :" MY
grandmother r replied the boy, in
! great Qlee.