The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1883-09-29
THE OLD SETTLER ON THE CROPS.
Ironical Remarks About the 'Squire's
Farm Break up n Pleasant Evening.

Farm Break up Pleasant Evening.
Sd. Mo1 in ". y Saa.
"The rye crop want none o. the
biggest this season, an now with corn
turnin' out to be nothin' more than
nubb:ns, an ~lurn few o. them to the
acre, an apples lookin' no bigger
now than they was six weeks ago, an
not half so much juice in 'em, tell you.
b'gosh, boys, it makes me shedder all
over to think wha, we may hef to come
to fore this time mex year.
The Old Settler is, for the time, a
pessimist. The future is tinged with
but little brightness for him, as future
which threatens his dearest comforts
must be to any one.
"'Course," said he, "they's proberly
'nough on han to weather Teller
through il he kin git to likin' a leetle
more water in il; but then | can't see
what's to keep the price from goin' up,
til, b'gosh, Teller wunt know what
it's bes' to do, jine the temperance
society, an kinder drownd hisself out,
or mortgage the old place an, eend up
the hull business albumin. Good
evein', Squire. How's the crops up
your way1"
"Wall," said the Squire, "buckwhit
an taters is lookin' pooty tol able, con-
siderin', but rootybagies mowt be twicet
ez good, and then you wouldn't hev an
ev'rage crop. But ez for white beans, |
never know'd sech crop sence the
year o the big drowt, when they want
nothin' raised in the hull county, was
gointer to say, but white beans. But
ez fur a matter o. that, Major, my
place'll raise more white beans than
any other place on the ridge
eyes, b'gosh it will !" exclaimed the
Old Settler. "Thc poorer the sile the
better the bean crop. I've alluz MOTTO
ed that. How's yer corn?"
"Wall, didn't think il wuth while
TO put in no corn this year" answered
the Squire. al never had much luck
on my place with corn. II wouldn't
never grow morn two foot high, then
it'd go all to tawsel, an consarn'd an
ear could ! ever git. made up my
mind that the groun' was so rich that il
jist pushed that tawsel up through the
stalk too fast, an didn't give nothin'
else no chance"
Couldn't ben, could it, that the
groun' were so dern poor that the corn
couldn't git root 'nough to hold the
tawsel back ? Oh, b'gosh, no Couldn't
ben that -
The Old Settler was growing more
and more ironical. He knew the
Squire's farm.
"Gointer git any apples on yer placer"
he inquired.
"Apples ?" said the Squire, thought
fully, as il he had almost forgotten the
state of that crop on his premises. an
o o-o-l-think not. No, they haint
no apples on my place. Mine hain't
fruit farm, 'dzac'ly."
"a fruit farml' exclaimed the Old
Settler. "a fruit farm Ghost lmightyi
sh'd say it want. Why, boys.
wild gooseberry bush wouldn't live
half day on his farm, an the top of
stun wall is jist the gardin spot o. the
universe to n wild gooscberry bush !"
"Wall, Major" said the Squire,
his equanimity somewhat disturbed,
''mebbe my farm hain't no corn farm,
an mebbe faint no fruit farm; but
I'll tell you what it is, Major, it's a
paid-fur farm. They hain't no mort
gage never goin,er take it way from
me"
This was line shot, for there is
tradition that the Old Settler parted
with little property down in Monroe
county once, at the disposal of which a
Sheriff took the most active part, and
the old gentleman is rather sensitive OF
reference to the matter. He glared at
the Squire, shook his cane and tried to
speak, but he evidently couldn't do the
subject justice. He sprang from his
chair and rushed out of doors. There
was silence for five minutes. The
Squire wasapparently grieved at hurting
the feelings of his old friend. An I'M
pleasant sense OF embarrassment preva-
ded the assemblage. Suddenly the door
opened on a crack The Old Settlers
head appeared through it. There was
fire in his eyes as he shouted:
"Durn good reason why, b'gosh
They amt sile enough on yer place to
raise mortgage on, bgosht 'lmighty !"
And the Old Settler jerked his head
back, shut the door with a slam that
could have been heard a quarter OF a
mile, and was seen no more during the
evening.