Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1883-11-30

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VOL XII. ,..s.
The Weather at O:26 Last Night.
SqsSssadt: m1S9Sead*GIssr:; SRew; thermometer q -
TRIBUNE TWlNKLES.
DID you give thanks truly?
THE comet cannot yet be seen with the-ah-
nude eye.
CARL scHuRz plays the piano and haa mum"
Der of other deplorable vices.
The raids made on Turkey yesterday should
be published among the war news.
CHEWING tobacco is a prevention against
small pox. Got any fine cut about you?
TIE Gar of Russia Gislikes waltzing. 1t
makes him sick at the distinguished stomach.
THERE are over 250,00O pounds of sausage
made in Chicago daily. Such dogged enterprise
deserves success.
ACCORDING to q Philadelphia paper the an
until next month.
The son .,f an Oxford professor has taken to
writing poetry. His distinguished father ls
almost prostrated by the sad news. (
Sullivan drew an immense audience in St.
Paul. and Boston will forevermore feel kindly
toward the Minnesota metropolis.
IT ia vaguely asserted that Isaac Sprague. the
living skeleton, has been married seven times.
No wonder that he doesn't fatten up.
AN Ohio Judge has decided that cheering for
successful candidates on election night does not
constitute disorderly conduct. Whoo-oo-oo-oo-
ray!
PENNSYLVANIA has postponed her ThanksglV-
ing until after the legislature adjourns. Ihe
psople cannot think of anything at present to
H. ri
IT ia now announced that Mr.. CORVALLIS
West s.s-s-tutters y v-v-v>very III Little, out
Won can scarcely n.n-n-notice it in ordinary
c-o-c-oonversation.
In Salt Lake City muchly married Mormon
can promenade the streets very comfortably
with a large detail of his wife. The sidewalks
are twenty feet wide.
MISS DORA MILES, daughter of the senator
from California, denies that she is engaged to
Lieutenant Glover. She doesn't fancy oelng
called grass widow after the death Of her hus-
band.
EXCHANGE: Advertising made fortune of
clear "a 600 COO for J. G. Aver, and his wife in
he1ited it. This teaches that the wives of busl
ness men should persuade them to advertise
largely.
AnEw1Y married Georgian announced that
he wouldn't take million dollars for himself.
Before the honeymoon is over he will proosoiy
begin to cut on prices, and may ere long mark
the figures down below Cost.
MRS. HARRIET BEECHER STOWE declares tnat
abe has not written new story and has no
: nresent intention of doing so. Let's have an
1 other season of Thanksgiving right away before
the assertion is contradicted.
lew the cornetist has been married and d.
vorced 80 often that when questioned regarding
it he is obliged to count upon his fingers before
he can name the number of times and yet ne
persists in footing his old horn,
"WHAr is true bravery?" shouts New York
paper. pretty good answer may be that it Is
for an editor to blast theatrical troupe and
then march in and enjoy the performance on a
deadhead ticket. However, this may be only
gall.
A LITTLE bird sat bough;
Beneath the tree there stood cough,
And close at hand there was sough;
They said, ''How happy are we nough-
Veil all pitch in and have rough.
Oil City Derrick.
Man of the high and massive brough,
Yor framed that very nice, I swough!
ANEW YORK woman gave party for her pet
poodle. all the other dogs in the neighborhood
being invited The cordial greeting rendered to
each dog by the other dogs as he came in il said
tn have been somewhat novel, but really touch
ing.
In the worlds broad field of battle,
Where the fallen are 80 thick,
Where is seen the carnage that'H
Tend to make the bravest sick,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle,
Like a harmless, passive stick;
Better try to make things rattle
And to sometimes make "a kick"
-[Ol City Blizzard.
A PRISONER has escaped from the Columbus
penitentiary Through q technicality" The