The bee., 1883-03-03


Here you see Timothy appears, not in
the shape of an apostle however, but
as "FortuBe" would have it in the
shape of an 1ss. 4 hint to the wise is
sufficient, but Balaam thought that a
stick to an ass was better. Accord
ingly he gave Timothy an unmerciful
beating. The result of the beating
was that the "doggoned animal" became
well versed in law. medicine and egot-
ism, especially the last named, which
requires great deal of learning and
patient researches. 1t also shows, that
an ass is more susceptible to learning
that an apostle, and right here, our
modern school teachers can learn a
lesson, viz: that 10y a lively use of the
birch.-Pupils are apt to learn rapidly,
because where st. Paul failed in giving
kind words and moderate instructions,
Balaam succeeded with rough words,
and hickory. l forgot to mention i'll
the commencement of this narrative,
that most of the apostles, names were
either changed or they had surnames
for instance, Simon Was Surnamed
Peter, Judas was called IScariOt,
Thomas was Surnamed Diddymus, Saul
after his conversion was called Paul,
and Timothy after his transformation
was surnamed Thomas Fortune. This
apostle, unlike the others, threw aside
theology and took up nigerology, a
sample of which is displayed in the
article above quoted. Now L may
have "mutilated grammar" and is
liable to be sued for malicious mutilla-
ton but as l never was an apostle
never was transformed. nor never had
any grammatical pretentions like the
editor of the Globe, jury would, no
doubt render verdict of not guilty.
The apostles also had some very pecu-
liar traits. Peter was a hypocrit, for
he denied the Master Thomas doubted;
Judas was betrayer, and Timothy,
surnamed Fortune, turns out to be an
W,mitigated liar. l am not added"
as Fortune" would have it, nor does
this season of the year require ice and
a fawcet. for cooling purposes, the
atmosphere being abundantly sufficient.
But suppose my letter to the BEE was
was mutilated? Well what of that =?
Most good things are, and it is wholly
incOmprehensible to me, how the editor
of the Globe can point with such force
to few Typographical errors in my
letter and forget the gst of the subject
matter, namely, the object of the In
dependent party in Pennsylvania and
the part Robert Purvis took in the
movement. | certainly said nothing
that was not so ON the contrary, l
! have not mentioned One-half of the
corrupt measures resorted to by Mr..
Purvis and his cOadjutcrs for the
| publita1iS: In regard to my corrupt
and venal purposes" Mr.. Fortune
knows better, for in addition to my
letter which appeared in his paper, his
editorial on the same and his editorial
on the proposed delate between Prof.
Richard L. Greener and myself, Mr..
Fortune and | corresponded privately.
am just as much an Independent now
as l ever was. / believe, as the great
transformed apostles of the Globe be
lieves that is, that l am an American
citizen with inalienable constitutional
rights to vote as please. l owe allie
glance to no man or set of men. The
difference between he and | Is that
he is d fanatic on the subject and l
am not. do not desire newspaper
controversy with the gentleman, fol. it is
the most unsatisfactory thing in the
world to strike at nothing. The re-
porter from the BEE called at my rooms
and l told him what knew about the
Independent movement, / being one
of the participants. / do not wish to
injure Mr.. Purvis, indeed, l cannot
injure him, for he has already injured
himself, not only as an enemy to the
party which fostered and gave him "fat"
positionns. But as one who brings an
unnecessary suit for the purpose of
smoothing over his wrong-doings. Mr..
PurviS held one or two responsible
positions given him by the Republican
party, and should have remained
quiet. Mr.. Fortune and myself have
received nothing, therefore we "kick."
Mr.. Fortune has the advantage over
me, he having been transformed from
an Apostle into an ass, he can kick
much stronger, and like Atlas of old,
he has "Globe" upon his shoulders,
and is better able to materialize. l
trust however, that the gentleman will
not take undue advantage of his two
fold positions, namely, of being an ass
and atlas.
r. 0. BENJAMIN,
922 11th Street, Washington, D. c.
90