The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-03-02
He Broke Him On,

II
The other morning, while the urbane
manager of Woodward's Gardens was
smoking a-four-bit cigar, and medita-
lively listening to the muffled walls OF 9
tomcat that had just been swallowed
alive by the big anaconda, tall, thin.
notwithstanding man, with goatee
and blue glasses, entered the gate and
remarked in an insinuating manner:
"Of course you pass the scientific fra
ternityp"
''Of course we donotr' said the show.
man, emphatically.
''What, not the savants, not the pio.
neers in the great march of the mind
into the hitherland of the infinite be.
yondg" returned the professor, with
great surprise.
81 will otdeceive you" sarcastically
replied the proprietor of the only sala.
mander; we pass nothing but the quilts
on the fretful porcupines-I mean the
press. You can't see the ostriches un.
less you come down and put up"
''Dear me, dear mel sighed the
scientist, refectively. ''To think that a
professor of cosmographic conchology
should be denied admittance to third
class Zoo! Has the Skamgatibus been
fed yetP"
''Sam- whichp" asked the tiger
importer.
"Why, the Skamgatibus; you've got
one, haven't youp"
"Ye-e-s-s; believe we've small fe-
male somewheres, said the grizzly's
friend, doubtingly.
"Why never knew a first-class col
lection to have less than two pair" said
the Professor, contemptuously show
doyourAzimuths stand this cold weather,
ehp''
''AzimuthsP" asked the Napoleon
aggregation of curiosities; what's themp
Some new kind of bird-you don't mean
ostri-p"
''Ostriches be hangedr' said the sue.
cessor of Darwin; "ostriches are moth.
ing. I've shot more ostriches with
quail shot than you've hairs on your
head. You don't actually mean to sit
there and tell me you haven't got a
single Azimuth to your back?"
''Don't believe have, admitted the
alligator breeder, mortified; -" what are
they likep"
''Oh! they're of the order Spinalis
spicmot-about eight feet high. Fun
peels off in the spring, you know-the
Siberian species, l mean. / suppose
you've got one of those Rectangular
African Flipgoohlies that reached New
York the other dayp"
mo; I'm hanged if did," said the
much agitated Snowman; ''here I've
been keeping an agent in New York on
big salary to look out for attractions
and he doesn't catch on to the first
blamed thing. Spends all our money on
secondhand panthers and kangaroos
with the rheumatics, I'll bounce him by
telegraph
Haven't even got Flipgoohly, ehp"
unused the scientist, in tone of great
pity. "And / shouldn't be surprised if
you didn't have Golden Crested Gus
pidor in your whole show"
Neither have-neithei have" re-
piled the wretched promoter of pelicans
in tone of great bitterness. S'pose
you just step in, sir, and look round;
mebbe there's something else you could
say"
''N-n-o, guess not" said the tall
man. ut would hardly pay me to spend
so much valuable scientific time in
fourth-class show like this. Not even
an Azimuth, ehp should think you'd
be afraid of being actually mobbed
sometime. I'm sorry for you, my man;
sorry for you. I've no doubt you mean
well, but-not solitary Skamgatibus
Great Scott!'
And as the disciple of Audubon passed
into saloon across the street and
snapped lead nickel for glass of
beer the barkeeper heard him chuckle
something to the effect that he had got
even on that old hyena puncher, and
don't you forget it.