The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1883-05-30
THE DAKOTA FEVER.
Some Philosophical Reflections In
the Way Of Timely Warning.
Milwaukee Sun.

[Bill Nye, tine Laramie Boomerang
humorist, who has been sicker than q
newsboy that has swallowed . chew
of tobacco, writes to US as follows
from River Falls, Wis, where he is
getting well.-ED.]
/ am up here in River Falls, Wis
consin, patiently waiting fol the
snow-banks to wilt away and gentle
spring to come again. Gentle spring,
Is I 60 to press, has not yet doomed
up. Nothing in fact has doomed up,
as yet, save the great Dakota boom.
Everybody, from the servant girl
with the symphony in smut on her
face, and the bound!ess waste of
freckles athwart her nose, up to the
Normal school graduate, with enough
knowledge to start q grist mill for the
gods, has "a claim'' in the promised
land, the great wild goose orchard
and tadPole aquarium of the new
northwest.
The honest farmer deserts his farm,
around which clusters q thousand
memories of the past, and buckling
ON his webb feet he fees to the frog
ponds Of the great northern water
shed, to make a "tree claim" and be
happy.
Such is life. We battle on bravely
for years, cutting out white oak
grubs and s%quashing army worms on
q single, in order that We may
dwell beneath our own vine and
plum tree, and then we sell and take
wings to a wild, unknown country,
where land is dirt cheap, where the
wicked cease from troubling and the
weary are at rest.
That is where we get left, if 1 may
be allowed to use an Americanism,
or whatever it is. We are never at
rest-the more we emigrate the more
worthless, unsatisfied and trifing we
become. I have seen the same fam
lily go through Laramie City six
times because they knew not Of con-
tentment. The first time they went
west. in a Pullman car "for their
health" The husband rashly told q
sad-eyed man that he lied, and in a
little while the SUI was obscured by
loose teeth and hair. The ground
was torn up and vegetation was
killed where the discussion was
held.
Then the family went home to To-
ledo. They went in a day coach and
said a Pullman car was full of mala-
ria and death. Their relatives made
sport of them and lifted up their
yawp and yawped at them ins0much
that the yawpness thereof was az the
town caucus for might. Then the
tourists on the following spring
packed up two pillows, and q pink
comforter and a change of raiment
and CAT them unto the. enaigrant
train and journeyed into the land
which is called Arizona, where the
tarantula climbeth up on the inner
side of the pantaloon and tickleth
the limb Of the pilgrim as he jour-
neyeth, and behold he getteth in his
work and the leg of that man is
greater than it was aforetime, even
like unto the leg of q piano.
Well, to cut a long story short, that
family got to going to Montana by
bull team, and every time the light
of hope was in their eyes, the tint of
10y for it's future was ontheir cheeks.
Sometime one of their children would
die, but the kind angels would fork
over another one and all would 60
well again, but at last they had to
20 on foot. l saw the old man
not long ago starting for Dakota. He
had a set Of store teeth that didn't
mash by an inch Or two and looked
as though they were made for a
larger man than he was, and he
talked like one whose vulcanized
rubber roof didn't fit his mouth, and
who is a little skittish for fear the
sealing wax gum of his wisdom teeth
will get mixed up with his tonsils
and shut off his wind, but he was
hopeful and almost tickled to death
with the idea of gong up into the
wild goose country and communicat-
ing with nature and living on frogs
legs and angle-worms. The more L
think of these things the more l be-
lieve I'd rather have contentment
and porter-house steak with mush.
rooms tn: to have q tr, e-claim in
Dakota and seaweed and pelican on
toast. It is better to be poor and pa
tent, seems to me, than to squat on
a Geluge and prove up with a quo
warranto and a double-barrelled
shotgun. BILL NYE.