The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1883-05-04

not only by reason of their peculiar color.
but on account of their smartness
Trying Sarcasm On Him.
Every time we went into the composing
room during the last few weeks we no.
ticed pale, hungry-looking young
man making himself quite at home.
The ease in which he seems to read type
upside down, and the haven't had-a-
MISUNDERSTANDING look in
his bilious eye, indicated plainly that he
was printer. He was also partial to
splitting on the stove, which was corrob-
orative evidence that he belonged to the
craft, but we knew that he did not be-
long to the office. The gentlemen who
take typographical liberties with our
manuscript are not of that class.
The pale young man, whenever we
saw him, was either reading the type in
the forms, or glancing over the proof
files. We became quite indignant, but
we said nothing until yesterday, when
our indignation eliminated rs we noticed
him reading some copy that we had
written only q few moments before.
When he took Il stub of a pencil out of
his pocket and, after sucking the point
of it added an to the rear of the word
potato, we could restrain ourselves no
longer No, no; we did not pick up a
mallet and lay him low with dull thud
on the Brussels-carpeted composing
room floor. We tried sarcasm on him.
Sarcasm is said to be powerful weapon.
we have been carrying that kind of con-
cealed weapons on our person for some
time, and we thought this would be a
good chance to try its effects. We said
TO the foreman: ''Why don't you get
rocking chair for strangers to sit on
when they are revising our copyP" We
spoke in loud voice, so the pale young
man would not fail to hear. If he I'M
derstood what we said he succeeded in
concealing his emotions most admirably.
The printers however seemed to enjoy
our remarks. We were encouraged and
tried again. .'If we have written any
thing that he doesn't like, don'tput it in
the paper on our account. We said
this 10 the foreman, but al the pale
young man. The foreman smiled and
said he would try and make him feel at
home
ASK him." we continued, ''if he
wouldn't like to relieve us of the bur-
den of editing the paper in considera-
ton of a princely salary, to be paid
promptly every Saturday night"
We used our most powerful and sneer-
full tone of voice in saying this, but ii
seemed to have no effect on the pale
young man. He knocked down q small
display advertisement as he reached out
fnr of int
allure.
''If our friend with the bilious eye
must have our copy installments, and
in advance, couldn't you find out where
he boards and send the proofs to his
hotel? 1t would save him the bother of
walking up to- the Office. If there is
one thing we pride ourselves on more
than another, it is on being accommo-
dating to strangers. Probably he would
like TO drop into the business Office and
look over the books or check the cash
account. BY all means extend to him
all the courtesy possible"
We thought that that surely would
move him. but he went on calmly and SER
enely reading our articles on ''The Pun
ish ment of Crime" as if he had not
heard word we said, and yet we were
not three feet from him and talking as
loud as we could.
We wanted to arouse his angry pas
sions, but we were foiled We were
afraid that we would do something
wicked if we stayed there any longer
so we left. Half an hour afterward,
when the foreman came into the editor
ial room we asked him if he could un-
derstand how the young man could
stand all that scathing sarcasm that
we had poured out on him.
Understand itp" Then the foreman
laughed loud and long. II should say
so; don't you know him?"
We confessed that we knew all we
cared to know of him.
"Why, he is that deaf and dumb
tramp printer from Tennessee, and he
didn't hear blamed word you said.
He could have stood it all evening""
We have come to the conclusion that
there is not such power in sarcasm as
is claimed for il -when il is used on
deaf mute. Trans Sifings
Here Is a chance for some ingenius
Yankee to make $1,000, the amount of
fercd by the Millers' National Associa-
ton, headquarters at Milwaukee,. A
machine is wanted that will compress
100 pounds of ordinary bran into pack
age not to exceed fifteen inches square,
or 200 pounds in the same ratio, and
which will, with the aid of an attendant
and reasonable amount of power, pre-
pare for shipment one ton or more pei
hour.