The Portland daily press., 1883-03-16

effected q complete cure"
This conversation was overheard in local
court last week; JuGge-"Why, this is The
tenth time you have been here since I have
sat on this bench" Prisoner-aYes, your
honor; have the courage of my convictions"
Boston Courier.
X meets one Of his friends on the Boulevard
"How are you, old boy?" he cried your
son-in-law has returned from his voyage It.
coldly, II have not heard him say p'- Paris
Pleasantly.
HoIsford's Acid Phosphate in Sick Head.
ache.
DR.. n. S. READ, Chicago says II think
it is a remedy of the highest value in many
forms Of mental and nervous exhaustion, at
tended by sick headache, dyspepsia aud dimin-
ished vitality"
The mosquito as public singer draws well,
but never gives satisfaction.
'Do yon hear this?" cried Mrs Bascom
reading. "The excessive death rate in Spain
is owing largely to the uncleanly habits of The
people. Thousands of Spaniards have never
washed since they were born No wonder the
poor creatures are dark Completed. Bur
lipgton Free Press.
ADMoNITIoN! Cure your cough thoroughly
with Hale's Honey of Horehonnd and Tar
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in one minute.
"Man, Jock, yere an awful slow eater"
said farmer to his new herd-boy. "Maybe,
MASTER" replied he, "but Pm an unco sure
aRe."
The belief that the people of Pompeii cult
waited watermelons is strengthened by the dis
covery in the course of recent excavations
there, of the Remains of a man with the hands
clasped across his stomach. There was moth.
ing, however, to indicate that he was of Afri-
can descent.-Brooklyn Eagle.
The great sale of Swedish Remedies is aston
ishing, and for enriching the blood, creating
an appetite, or Strengthening the whole system
nothing can surpass these remedies.
George Washington never allowed his TEN.
per to become ruffied; but he was very partic-
ular about having his shirt bosom frilled.
Some one once asked Dr. Ricord what he
thought of absinthe sit is no good" replied
the celebrated practitioner However, it
opens the appetizer" 81 don't say that it does
not, !" replied the doctor, ''but my opinion is
that you should never open anything with
false keys "-Fromthe French
Take Ayers Sarsaparilla in the spring Of the
year to purify the blood, invigorate.t the system,
excite the liver to action, and restore the
healthy tone and yigor Of the whole physical
mechanism.
Nothing SO strongly tests mans veracity as
to be summoned to the door to be confronted
with the question "Are you the head of the
house?"-York Statesman.
Philadelphia organist has been discharged
for playing (though very slowly and solemnly)
march from an opera bouffe Seventeen dea-
cons recognized it at once--Philadelphia
News.
The 'Black Hand Society is rapidly increas-
ing IN Spain. There is an agent of the society
now il Burlington. He ticks bis thumb and
then turns the pages of new book with it
Burlington HawkeYe.
The universal verdict, "The Hop Plaster is
the best porous plaster ever made" Only %
cents.
On the Boulevard, after long separation:
"What's new with you?'' ''Nothing; always
a bachelor; and you?'' sob, I'm married"
GOOD match?' GA widow, still young, but
with two children" "That is re grettable, nv
dear. Children, you know. are like tooth
picks; each one his own."-Frencb.