Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-10-05
An ORIGINAL SKETCH OF BENJAMIN
FRANKLIN

Mark Twain has been writing an
account OF the American Printer.
Patriot, and Philosopher" AS will
be seen. it varies YER considerably
from previous estimates OF his char
acter.
Benjamin Franklin was one Of those
persons whom they call philosophers
He was twins. being born simultane-
ously in two different houses in the
city Of Boston These houses remain
until this day, and have signs upon
them wor,led in accordance with the
facts. The signs are considered well
enough to have. though not necessary,
because the inhabitants point out the
two birth places to the stranger any
how, and sometimes as often rs several
times in the same day. The subject
OF this memoir was OF vicious dis
position, and early prostituted his
talents to the invention Of maxims
and aphorisms calculated to infict
suffering upon the rising generation
OF all subsequent ages. His simplest
acts, also, were contrived with a view
10 tnelr DelhR nelu up Ior.
THE EMULATION OF BOYS
for ever-boys who might otherwise
have been happy. 1t was in this
spirit that he became the son Of a
soap boiler, and probably for no other
reason than that the efforts of all
future boys who tried to be anything
might be looked upon with suspicion
unless they were the sons of soap
boilers With a malevolence which
is without parable! in history, he
would work all day. and then sit up
nights. and let on to be studying
algebra by tho light oi a smuldering
fire, so that all other boys might have
TO do that also, or else have Benjamin
Franklin thrown up to than. Not
satisfied with these proceedings. he
had fashion OF living wholly on
Dread and water, and studying astro
nomy at meal time--a thing which
has brought affection to millions Of
boys since, whose fathers had read
Franklin's
pERNICIOUs BIOGRAPHY
His maxims were full OF anilnosity
toward boys Nowadays a boy can
not follow out a single natural in
stinct without tun,bling over some Of
those everlasting aphorisms and hear
ing from Franklin on the spot. If he
buys two cents worth Of peanuts.
his father says, Remember what
Franklin has said, my SOMA groat
a days penny year. and the com
forts al gone out Of those peanuts
II he wants to spin his top when he
10 done work, his father quotes.
characterization il the thief OF time"
IL he does virtuous action. he never
gets anything for il, because Virtue
10 its own reward" And that boy is
houpded u death and robbed Of his
natural rest because Franklin said
once, in one Of his inspired flights
Of malignity
Early 10 bed and early to rise
Makes n man healthy and wealthy and
wise"
A. IL 1t were any object to n boy to he
healthy and wealthy aud wise on
such terms. The sorrrw that that
maxim han cost me through my
parents experimenting on mo with
II, tongue cannot tell Tho legitimate
result IL my present state of general
debility. Indulgence, and mental aber
ration. My parents used to have mo
mp before nine o'clock in tho morning.
sometimes, when was boy. If
they had let mo take my natural rest,
where would have been now Keep
ing store. no doubt. and respected by
all. And what
An ApRoiT on ADVENTURE
the subject % this memoir was, In
order 81 get chance 10 fly his kite
on Sunday he used to hang n key on
the string and let on 10 be fishing for
lightning And n guileless public
would 10 home chlrping about the
wisdom" and the genius" Of the
hoary Sabbath breaker II anybody
caught him playing humble peg"
by himself after the age 81 sixty. he
would immediately appear to he
ciphering ont how the grass grew
as II II was any of his business. My
grandfather knew him we'll. and he
says Franklin was always fixed
always ready IL body, during his
old age. happened on HIM unexpect
eddy when he was catching flies, or
making mud pies. or sliding on
cellar door, he would Immediately
look wise. and rip out maxim. and
walk of with his nose in tho air and
his ran turnei wrong side before