The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-02-08
SHORT BITS,

| beCuer cefSe Cdlllug y Oe DrOWn lem
ocrat.
How many pounds make ton of coal
this year.
The happiest men are fat men-be-
cause they know they will not die poor.
Out of train of twelve cars entering
Mexico recently, ten were loaded with
beer.
The latest agony In walking sticks is n
light red with shepherds crook of steel
for handle.
In-auger-sl addresses are doubtless so
called because they are so often bores.--
Lowell Courier.
If you wish to look on the bright side
of life, do not associate with fools.--New
Orleans Picayune.
There is in Kentucky an 1S-year-old
girl who weighs 300 pounds. The parlor
sofa is made of cast-iron.
Look at the photographs, and you will
be surprised to see how many persons
there are with only one ear.
Bartholdi's statue of the Goddess OF
Liberty Enlightening the World" has
no foundation in fact.--New Orleans
Picayune.
An ex -prize-fghter never dies. When
he leaves the ring he opens saloon and
outlives all his friends.--Detroit Free
Press.
He isn't much of a man who cannot
find in himself all the symptoms spoken
of in patent medicine almanac Lowell
Citizen.
DR.. Hewson's assertion that sparrows
have smallpox is probably true. They
have been a pest in this country for
some years.
A writer in a western magazine signs
herself Rose Bud" We presume this
must be her nom de "bloom. N. Y.
Com. Adv.
Fortifying the stomach with liquor is
like pointing the guns inward and
emptying them upon the garrison
Boston Transcript
A Tennessee man who imagined that
he was the fool-killer, started out with
club the other day, and headed straight
for Washington.
Only about one out of every ten negro
ca bins in the south has windows. When
the occupants want any daylight they
walk out of doors.
When the bank stops payment, nova
days, there is reason to believe that some
of its officers ought to be suspended
Bottom Courier.
Kate Field did not succeed as the boss
of dry goods store. Woman shines
best as boss when workmen come to
make repairs on her home.
Things one would rather have left I'M
said: Hostess what, must you go al
ready, Professor" The Professor -
"My dear madam, there is limit even
to my capacity of inhicting myself on
friendsw Hostess-"Oh, mot at all
I assure your
A Londoner, one day, by accident,
saw the sun. 'Eavens," said he, :" 'ow
they ave improved that there 'lectric
light" After a moments pause, during
which he gazed upon the novel sight, he
added, reflectively: But 'ow in thunder
did they get i'm up so 'igh?'
Scotch Laird Ito poor portrait painter
Eye nun ken ma dochter's birthday is
vera near, and 1 promised her ma pic
tur'. Weel. I'll jkst fund ane To- some
body else) in a brokers' window thatli
dae fine, and 1 would like We too put
a wheen feenishin' tilt; as cheap as We
can, We understand
A poet asks: "Will / ever feel the
dewy kiss of the morn as it breaKs DER
the hills ATARI We are afraid not unless
he gets girl who will let him sit up
late with her. Then he will be able to
feel the dewy kiss at about half-past one
in the m morning and the breaking over the
hills afar he can do to suit himself.
A negro man in Jacksonville, Ind, is
sick with tn. small pox, and the attend
ing physician expressed the belief that
the disease was communicated by a mos
quito which had previously nipped an
other patient. II that mosquito is
native of New jersey he can easily be
vaccinated.-N York Commercial Adj
vertiser.
Gen. Daniel Tyler, whose death &C.
curreI in Nav York racent1v was a sol