The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-08-13
HE NEVER Col LEI.
How Street Car Passenger Proved His
Supernatural smartness.

now street thr Passenger tfoNeu MS
Supernatural Smartness.
lie was an elderly man with a we'll devel-
oped nose, a partially bald head and dimple
in his chin He was riding on Penn avenue
car, and, though he only occupied two seats,
he had all the conversation Of the car to
himself.
al never got left in my life" he continued,
looking severely at the young man with weak
eyes and smell of tobacco in his clothes,
who was probably cigar maker.
"Nos' said the young man
mo, sir; I may not be very han lsome
and am not as active as was 10 years ago,
but can take care Of myself against the
'cutest Of 'em. Yes, SIR"
He took chew Of tobacco and transfxed
il on the jagged remains Of his western eye
tooth. Then he went on, with his eye on the
young man to watch for any signs of incredul
ity or WEAKNESS:
81 studied law when was young man,
but had 10 quit"
"Your conscience, | suppose" began
the young man, mildly, while the motherly
old lady With the market basket nudged her
daughter in surrepttious enjoyment of the
conversation.
"Copscience be daned I"
"No practice, perhaps?"
"Young man, you are away of. | had too
much practice. That was what bothered me.
| couldn't lose a case il wished. All the
murderers and hard nuts generally got me to
defend them, and guess | am a good deal
responsible for the increase Of crime in Ohio.
| am an Ohio man."
"Ahaa-a !" sighed all the passengers in
chorus.
eyes; got them all off, couldn't help
1t. So concluded was dangerous man to
the community as a lawyer and | turned my
wonderful personal magnetism into another
channel and studied medicine. | soon got
diploma and began to practice. But it
wouldn't do. played the deuce with the I'M
dertaking business and was worked 10 DEATH
During the year | occupied myself in saving
lives don't believe | slept two hours a
week"
"Why, you must have been nearly dead for
want of rest" said the motherly old lady,
sympathetcally.
"Rest, madame-ha ha !" said the smart
one, with guitaw that made the tobacco on
his palate fly to the roof OF his mouth, IL
don't need any rest. | am always wide
awake. 1t is peculiarly OF mine that no
matter what am doing or saying, never
lose sight Of everything that's going on around
me. 1t is very wintry day when get left
in any way, assure you" He subsidized into
rallentendo chuckle and shook his head in
rhythm from side to side in sheer satisfaction
with himself Just here the car OF the door
opened and the conductor of the car grulily
announced to the motherly old lady:
"Here is where you wanted to get off
| Twenty sixth street"
whats that" broke in the chuckler, all
the laughter dying out of his face as suddenly
as If he had been attacked by cholera.
"Twenty-sixth street? You must be mistaken.
It's only Eighteenth"
81 said Twenty-sixth," replied the con-
ductor, with contemptuous glance oil
superiority.
"Then, great Scott have ridden eight
squares past my street"
He left the car with a bounce, and as the
motherly old lady and her daughter followed
they exchanged glances OF triumph with the
weak-eyed young man who smelled O.
tobacco.