Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1883-09-26

champing of the bits. He opened the
front door. The night was calm and
still: there was neither voice nor any
that answered.
No harm seems to come to such as re-
ceive those nocturnal visits, but it is
the prevalent belief that the occupant of
the coach is condemned to walk like the
Wandering Jew. It is curious feature
of the story that the high.road, along
which the mail used to travel in the good
old times, passed at some distance from
the haunted way, which was certainly
called the coach-road some generations
back, and 1 have suspicion that the
fact that no phantom having been seen
of late on the coach-road itself-though
they tell me it has been seen by "scores
of 'em" elsewhere-may be accounted
for; it is matter of history that some
thirty years ago the present Lord Dud-
ley drove q carrisge and four along the
coach-road, and, to the amazement and
perplexity of mankind, did rot perish
in the attempt. Since the N the ghostly
individual SHANE d at being so maD1fest]y
outdone, has retired from this palt Of the
scene of his former charlotte ring.
Why, Oh, Why?
l.' Bob" Burdette in the Cincinnati Enqnirerl
There are some unsolved mysteries in
the great problem Of life that give me
cause for reflection and anxiety. If
we're rich T believe I would build me a
lonely cell somewhere in Clifton or some
place like that, worth about 800.
with a store-room like wholesale gro
Gerry, where might have plenty of help
in studying these intricate problems in
our daily economy, or extravaganza, as
the case may be. For often and often [
wonder and wonder:
Why you always put teaspoons into
the vase upside down?
Why the pantaloons Of a goddess
atheist, who never said prayer in his
ife, bag at the knees just as quickly
land decidedly as the b:eeks of the saint
who spends half his days on his knee, ?
Why it is wrong to eat pie with a
knife?
What Washington said to Gen. LIE.
at the battle of Monmouth?
Why so many p1ivates in the army
have been generals ever since the war
| How the directory of d railroad CON
pany. can get rich, while the stock
holders gradually starve to death?
Howa receiver prospe1s and grows
fat on business that ruined the mer.
chant?
Why the man who "has gone out Of
politics" never misses convention and
always keeps sin the hands (and also
the pockets) Of his friends ?"
What the states would do for peniten
tiaries if all the rascals should suddenly
step up and confess?
Why woman falls like fash not
two inches from the banana skin she
steps on while man falls like cyclone
half way round the block, bowling like 6
mad demon at every plunge, and at last
climaxes with crash under peanut
stand on the other side of the street?
Why "pure bears oil" is always
cheaper when pork is away down, and
booms up like balloon in the cholers
years
Why, when spring chickens are SC
small you have to eat them by the dozer
to taste one, the price is so high yor
have to buy them by the chicken2
Why man frequently tries to make
himself necessary when he would eerv.
humanity much better by making him
self scarce?
| Why it is 80 much easier to lose hall
a dozen bets than it is to win one?
Why Tom Thumb was always billed a.
"twenty- three years old "until the day b
died, when he made a jump of more thar
his lifetime?
Why some people remember the Sab
bath day" as though it was only par
lor car porter, and give it quarter il
full for all demands
| Whatever became of the "blue-glasI
remedy?'
And what went with all the archer,
clubs2 =
| I don't believe in philosophy wasting
it's time on trihes. If the wise men wan
fomething useful and practjcAlto pond
over, here are their problems.