Middletown transcript., 1883-03-16
a QUESTION OF GRAMMAR.

Young men who 60 west to blow up
with the country should not be too crit
ical. They should be satisfied to put up
with things just as they find them out
there in that land of wonderful re-
sources and magnificent expectations.
They should not want to find every
man wearing a silk hat and as-
thetic necktie, and using first-class,
well-seasoned article of grammar. =
They should not hope to have pie at
every meal and their matin malaria
medicine poured from a decorated de-
canter into paper-shell tumbler They
should not expect to find at all the
hotels the bill Of fare printed on white
satin or the walters at table able to con-
verse in five languages, If they see Al
man out there with little spot on one
of his cuffs or with one end of his neck
tie bit longer than the other end, or
hear him say "illy'' when he means
''ill," :" they should not rise up and crit
icise him harshly. They should remem-
ber that they are in new country
where the brush of Time has not yet
put on the last coat of polish. They
should keep quiet and wait. They
should be willing to give new country
a chance. Otherwise they may get into
trouble. A few days ago young man
fresh from an Eastern college, with
his diploma in his grip sack and copy
Of Richard Grant Whites "Words and
Their Uses'' in his pistol pocket, ar
rived at Tombstone, Arizona, and reg
istered his name at the principal hotel.
A socially inclined person in a blue
shirt and wide-rimmed hat, who chanced
to be in the Office, good naturedly an
swered every question, and volunteered
a vast amount Of interesting informa-
tion about Arizona in general and
Tombstone in particular. The college
graduate from the East was charmed
with all but the Tombstoner's lam
guage. 1t was not exactly in accord
ance with the rules Of Richard Grant
White. 1t had sort of wild free
sound about it that grated harshly upon
the ears of the young man from the
East, and he was disposed to be critical.
"Do you see them hills ?" asked the
Tombstoner, pointing through one Of
the Office windows. Well, them hills
is chock full Of pay dirt.
The young man from the East looked
shocked.
"My dear sir, )" he said, proudly but |
kindly, you should say those hills
are not them hills is = 2
The Tombstoner was silent for a mo-
ment. He looked the young man from
the East critically over as if he was es-
the size of coffin he would
wear. Then drawing out an ivory
seVen-shooter of elaborate style
and finish, he said in soft, mild, mu-
sical tone Of voice that sounded like a
wildwood brook coursing DER its peb-
bled bed:
"My gentle unsalted tenderfoot from
the land of the rising sun, this here's a
pint that you and me disagrees on, and
we might as well have it settled right
now. [ haven't looked in a grammar
lately, but say them hills is, is correct
and I'm going to stand by that opinion
while I've got shot left. I'll give you
jest three minutes TO think calmly over
the subject, for you probably spoke in
haste the first time, and then I'll hear
your decision"
The young man from the East looked
down the delicately chased barrel of
the revolver into the placid depths of
the eye of the Tombstoner, and began
to feel that many points In grammar
are uncertain and liable to grow more
so. Then he thought of the coroner's |
inquest and of the verdict, "came to
his death by standing in front of Colo
rado Toms seven shooter, +" and of the
long pine box going east by express
with $50 charges on it, and before half !