The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-04-21
OPENING JACK POT.

Mr.. Spoopendyke Attempts to Teach His
Wife to Play Poker.
Srooklyn Eagle.
Now, my dear" said Mr.. Spoopendyke,
3huffling the cards and dividing the checkers
into two even piles, suppose we play little
game of poker. Do you know how to play
poker?"
II guess So" replied Mrs. Spoopendyke,
hitchng M her chair, and busting the top of
the table with n towel. Isn't that the game
where you have the right and lett joker, and
pass when you take it up?'
III you have any kind of luck you do"
returned Mr. Spoopendvke 81 learned this
game over at Mr.. Specklewottle's the other
night The way you play it is to have one
pair, or two pairs or four aces. Four aces
beat anything. When you get four aces you
want 10 bet your last cent. Now, FL deal five
cards apiece"
II hope I'll get four aces" gggled Mrs
Spoopendyke. IF do, win, don't II"
Yes if you get EN-" grinned Mr.. Spoop-
endyke. Now. what do you do?'
Let me see what I'll do" murmured Mrs.
Spoopendyke nibbling at the corner of one
card and regarding the rest with puzzled
visage. Suppose l have the three of eghts
and the two OF queens, l can play. can't II"
you might play in menagere!" snorted
Mr.. Spoopendyke, running over his hand
and frowning eloonily as he failed to detect
pair or anything likely to make one. III
you've got any such hand as that. your prop
er sphere would be playing before crowned
heads! What do you do? Are you coming
in? Where's your ante, anyway? Don't you
know it's your edge?'
''Of course" proclaimed Mrs Spooper-
dyde, boldly. Il know that. Now, lead
my edge" and she laid down an eight spot;
though l presume your edge will take it"
and she rested her chin on the table and
stared at the card earnestly.
What We doine?' demanded Mr.. Spoopen-
duRo stVon df,,lff NAV tbat npaf Wizard c
your ante?"
DO you mean her?" huttered Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, hastily catching up her eight spot
and laying down the queen, Il thought l
wouldn't play her till l had drawn yonr four
aces. Then would win, wouldn't l?'
Take up that card" retorted Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, sternly. Take up that card and
put one of your checkers in the middle of
the table. There, So That's the way to
play. Now, how many cards do you want?'
LET me think" fluttered Mrs. Spoken
dyke. Lets see. l believe I'll take ten"
Better take gross!" snortel Mr.. Spoop-
endykc. eyeing her wrathfully. Perhaps
you'd like half a Darrell Don't you know
you can't draw but five? If you've got any
bad cards, throw 'em away and I'll give you
more of 'em. If your cards are all good, you
can stand pat. Do you want to stand pat?'
Il guess So" sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke,
heiplessy. IF I stand pat, do l play the
eight or the queen?"
You don't play either" replied Mr..
Spoopendyke, helping himself to five cards
and drawing a couple of kings. Now it's
my bet. bet two; what do you bet?'
Then, bet two" answered Mrs Spoopen-
dyke, frightening up as she began to see her
way clear. Il bet queen and eight" and
she laid them down with confidence.
THAT calls my hand" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, gleefully ''only you don't bet your
cards; you bet your checkers. Put in two
checkers and show your cards"
Mrs. Spoopendyke showed her checkers into
the middle of the table and laid down three
Fights and pair of queens.
"Where did you get emp roared Mr..
1poopendyke, recognizing his defeat.
"What'd we want to keep talking about the
three of Fights and the TWO queens? Why
didn't ye tell me you had full hand?''
You gave EN- to me-" returned Mrs.
Spoopendyke, doefuly. Il only had those
five. What does it do?'
ut makes it a jack pot" growled Mr.,
Spoopendyke, seeing a chance for himself in
his wie's utter ignorance of the game. Now
we've each got to put in one checker just
because you played in that way"
"rm sorry, dear cooed Mrs, Spoopen-
dyke, rather pleased with the idea of getting
out of the scrape at any expense. And yet
might have known it would have made it a
jack pot if l had stopped to think"
when you stop to think, YOU only want
a stick of chewing-gum and rat-trap to be
female seminary! Do you know what a
jack pc; is? Got some kind of notion that
it has three legs and is used to cook mush In,
haven't ye2 Well, it isn't and it isn't to sit
there and grin at, either! 1t takes a pair OF
jacks or something as good as them to open
1t. Now, take these cards and tell me
whether you open it or notl'
Mrs. Spoopendyke examined her cards
critically.
Il stand pat, she remarked, after a long