The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1883-11-14
A TUSSLE IN TIE DARK.
What Caused a Country Parson
to Shut up Hi Hymn Book
and Swear.

TO smut up his hymn BOOK
and Swear.
While Col. Clint was in the city he
was the guest of the Rev. MI. Null
kittle-that is, q part Of the time. In
the Mulkittle house he spent several
nights very quietly, but after the
fourth night he engaged board at q
cheap lodging house.
"Are you 'eady to 60 TO your room::'
asked Mr.. Mulkittle.
eyes, replied the colonel. 81 reck-
on 1 can sleep, but l don't know.
Lying around town don't agree with
me. ! am used to work; and it I had
q couple Of trees to chop down I
think l could regain some Of my lost
physical force
Don't you call preaching work."
asked brother Mulkittle.
"Well, il is work after a fashion,
but it don't loosen up the joints like
splitting rails. Did you ever split
rails" -.
"No, and l hope I never shall"
II hope you do not consider your
self above such work."
Its not that, Brother Clint. I
don't consider myself above milking
a COW, but l don't ARE to engage in
the exercise"
"Why did you single out a cow"
"Just happened to think of a cow,
that's ALL"
Didn't somebody tell you that l
MIXED the cows at homer"
Have never heard OF anything of
the kind"
Then you are certain you meant
no disrespect to me when you refer
red to the cow"
"Why, nv dear sir, such AT idea
is preposteIOus'
"Not 40 preporsteous a. YOU may
suppose, sir. / know town people
have a disposition 10 make fun of
people who live in the country, and I
want you to under. tand ii I am a
country preacher, I amt no SLOUGH.
l can preach ali around any man in
this town.
II think you are o~ver-sensitive
brother Clint, aud are disposed to be
quarrelsome. This should be an oc-
casion of great brotherly love, and
understand me when l say / shall
not be instrumental in making it
otherwise. Your bed ia ready and
there is a lamp in your ROOM. Good
night.'
Col. Clint, without replying,
sought his ROOM. He lay on the bed
and tossed a while, and then remorse
began to seize him. 81 would 60
down and ask his pardon,' he unused,
"but he's gone to bed. Hello, what's
that" and he listened. "Somebody
outside quarrelling with Mulkittle.
I'll 20 outside and maui the wretch
Just as MI. Mulkittle had stretched
himself upon the bed, his wife. in y
great fright, exclaimed:
"There is solce one trying to get in
at the front door,
MI. Muihittle went to the front
door and demanded:
"Who's there?"
"Me," replied a voice.
"Who's me?"
~ don't know who you are,n re-
piled the voice Of 8 drunken man.
Must have been out mighty late
with the buys if you hafler ask every
Teller that comes along who you are.
Who do you reckon You are any
waAw
and he laughed and slapped himself.
IF you don't go away from there
TIL come out there and hurt YOU"
"You're the man I want to do busi-
ne 50 with"
II am, eh?" and Mr.. Mulkittle
threw open the door. The fellow
ran away, Mr.. Mulkittle following
him to the yard gate. Just as the
the preacher reentered the door he was
confronted by the colonel. The col
Onel mistOok Mulkittle for q burglar,
and it flashed across Mulkittle's
mind that the drunken dodge had
been a device to get him away from
the door so that = robber could enter.
The two men die not speak, but Crap
pied with each other. MLikittle is
not slow in a "~tussle," and the col
onel, a fact proudly recorded by his
torians, is st home in a hand to hand
to hand encounter. There was just
light enough in the hall for the men
to see each other, but ! OF enough to
admit of recognition. Selecting his
opportunity with the circumspectiOn
Of q physical scientist, Mr.. Mulkit-
tie planted a stunning blow between
the eyes of his adversary, but ere he
could follow up the advantage thus
gained, the colonel, violating the
international treaty, struck Mulkit-
tie below the belt shutting him up
like q knife. The colonel sprang for
ward to avail himself of the point
thus gained, but Mulkittle straight
ened up with the colonel on the back
of his neck. Then folio . ed a series
of scrambllng with a view to proper
adjustment. Just at this time Mrs.
Mujkittle rushed into the hail with
the handle of a buster. She leveled
a blow, she did not know at whom,
but it struck the colonel cro the
ankle bone
"Hold ont" he yelled, II pass. I
can stand q good deal, but when l get
q crack acros, the bone I'm DONE"
"Great heavens!" exclaimed Mr..
Mulkittle, lis it you??"
"Oh, no." replied the colonel in
agony, "It's the Teller that keeps the
tollgate."
Bring a light, this is very unfor-
tunate I declare
eyes," the colonel replied, otis
ID unfortunate. I don't use such
expressions as a rule; tuat is, l don't
swear by note, but when a man de-
liberately sets u trap for me, after
speaking contemptuously Of milking
cows, and then gets his wife to hop
out and whack me with a pole, then
1 shut up the nymnnook and swear"
"You are entirely wrong, my dear
brother"
don't brother me. I'll take you out
here and break you against q tree.
Lemme get the balance Of my clothes
and I'll leave you.'
When he came down stairs again,
Mrs. Mulkittle seeing that her hus-
band had failed, attempted to effect a
compromise, but he waved hei off.
mo, madam, your husband may be a
good man, and may walk beside all
the still waters he can find, and loll
in all the green pastures in the neigh
borhood, but when q man instructs
his wife to whack my ankle bore,
I'm done. Good night" and he
sought a cheap lodging house. Ar
LooI.u Tro,,oLor