The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1883-05-11
MANKATo FREE Press.
FRIDAY, MAY IL, 1883.
CREME DIES CdRONIQUES.
What the Alleged Wits of Paris Find to
Saw in Their Newspapers.

Remark by Cardinal lie Reiz. which
is ~ true now as when il was ultercd:
"a politician must often change his
opinions if he wishes always To remain
in the same party
A gentleman who has been thinking
of buying hack. having visited II men
ageric. comes home radiant with JOY.
I'm going Ia buy one of them zrhraS,
he said. lone of those riilcd horses.
They must carry much further than the
ordinary SORT
II thought remarked the victim. af-
ter the dentist had dragged him around
the room several times. Il thought YOU
advertised to extract teeth without
pain?" So do. Sir" replies the opcr-
ator. blandly. Iii doesn't hurt me AZ all
to yank en-
A father has been complaining To II
friend of the family of the conduct of
his prodi.al son. You ought la rca-
son with him seriously SAYS the friend
Of the family. 80 do! 80 have"
says the father in despair. "but il has
no effect. The young scoundrcl will lis
ten To nobody that isn't fool like him
self. want You l." go and talk with
him.
A mothers pride. What! Your
son is only Srrgrani?' ''IcS. that is
his grade. but with pride. and conf
dcniially lin reality You know. he is
a Captain, but he doesn't publish the
fact because he doesn't want 10 wound
the feelings of his comrades who haven't
got on rs rapidly rs hr has
The delightful French "allantry of the
oldcn time has not vet flown from earth.
A beautiful rosebud of II girl is walking
up the drawinG-room lcanngo on the arm
al her father. what, mad"moi>"lle,
SAWS gentleman oI the old school. edo
You walk? Bi..ss me, 1 thought YOU
were on Il stem.
\ lady of mature a~c is consulting
her lawyer about institutinG proceed
in~s for divorce. Il perceive" saws
the LAWYER, ''you wish Ia obtain u sep
aration because OF his cruelty II
wouldn't have minded SO much being
beaten" sobs the lady. III he had beat
Ell me in an ordinary manner, but he
didn't the scoundrcl didn't sir. he used
To thrash mo with with? Com
pose yourself, my dear madame. :"
with my poor, dear, first husbands
cancr'
Breakfast nj home. well. madame.
says the head of the house. who has ap-
parcntly got out of bed on the wrong
side, '.what have you rot for breakfast
this morning? Boiled eggs. ch9 Seems
To me you never have anything but
boiled eggs. Boiled Ercbus. And what
else, madame. may | ask?' Mutton
chops. my dear" says the wife timidly.
Mutton chops!" echoes the husband,
bursting into peal of sardonic laugh
ter ..Mutton chops. could have
guessed it. by the living iingo. ma
dame. if ever eat another meal inside
this house" and jamming on his hat
and slamming the door. the aggricved
man bounds down the stairs and be-
takes himself 10 the restaurant.
.What'll you have, sir" says the
waiter. politely. handing him the bill of
fare. ''Ah!' says the guest. having
glanced over il, ..lct me See Bring me
two boiled eggs and a mutton chop
The parents have taken the youngest
of their three daughters to the theatre.
They had their doubts about taking one
of the elder ones. for the play was 81
the ..n:uuralsi,c' kind; but rs for the
youngest. poor child, she would never
see anything wrong in it. Atone of the
most '.naturalistic' scenes the little
maid observes with all unimaginablc
gravity: You were quite right, ma! II
would never have done To let the girl.
see it Addptcd by Tie n. y. IHorhO.