Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-07-28
PLEASANTRIES.

WHY are pretty girls like wild cher
ries? Because they make you pucker
up your lips.
WHY is the discovery of the North !
pole like an illicit whisky mandatory ?
Because it is a secret still.
Dr. HOLLAND wrote, "There's q song
in the air." Investigation would hayo !
shown him that the air was in the song.
A oYN1o says he agrees with Longfel- /
low that life is not an empty dream"
It is a full dream, pretty much all night
mare.
.'Too MUCH absorbed in his bust
ness" was the comment of Western
newspaper on the death of brewer
who was drowned in tank of his own
beer.
"I WANT one of those long felt hats,
papa, said pretty girl to her father.
The indulgent father forked over the
money, and her head now fills the long
felt want.
SCIENTISTS say the best brain food is
corn meal SO, if you wish to fatter a
scientist by some delicate allusion to his
mental capacity, all you have to do is
to call him a mush- head-then run.
MASTER TOMMY (returning from the
funeral -"Why did Uncle Jonas cry so
for, aunt He cried more than any
body!" Aunt (grimly)-" course
Most of the property is left to him, my
dear"
"WHAr is mean time ?" asks CORE
spondent. Going to picnic alone and
seeing your first and seeond-best girls
with two fellows you hate, is about as
nearly our idea of a mean time as pen
can express. -Burdette.
SAID the night Waterman, when about
dusk he was invited to drink a cup OF
coffee: "No, thank you; coffee keeps
me awake all night" Then he saw his
blunder, looked very much embarrassed
and tried to explain it. But it was no
use.
"WHAT time is it, my dear" asked
wife of her husband, whom she sus.
pected of being drunk, but who was de-
ing his best to look sober. "Well, my
darling, I can't tell, cause, you see,
there are two hands on my watch, AMI
each points to different figure and I
don't know which to believe"
THE boys had met in the barn. the day
Was big to them with fate,
For whether not to g hockey" play
Was the subject Of debate.
Twas put to vote, the Chairrnan's throat
Proclaimed, Z" The ayes have choee!"
But skunk came in with an extra vote
And gave it to the nose.
CAPT. PERcIvAL, Cape Cod mariner
of the old school, was once awakened III
his bunk by a shipmate with the an
nouncement that the vessel was going to
eternity. "Well,' replied the Captain
"Tve got ten friends over there to one
in this world; let her CO." And he
turned over and went to sleep again.
Mr.. MALONE Ito the apple-woman
who has "Sherif's Sale " displayed Oh
her stand" Shure, Mrs. Maginnis, it,
sorry l am for this throuble that's come
upon ye." Mrs. Maginnis "Och, welj
Mr.. Malone, I don't mind telling yez.
seem We are an ould frind, but It's only
little business craft to get rid av ms
ould stock. "-H0rper's B0zar.
They were talking about the compar-
ative readiness of the sexes to oblige one
another, when Jones employed this il
lustration A man walking along il
the street finds cigar In his pocket
but no match. He meets another MAI
with lighted cigar, stops him, asks fol
light, gets it and goes on. Now, Ok
you suppose one woman would do tina
for another %
CONGRESSMAN S. S. Cox in lecture
at Washington on the hunor of the ne
gro race, told the following story as al
illustration "While in Georgia so2ac
time ago I happened to be passing
along the street. 'Hullo, Sam,' said
particularly black colored man on tht
other side of the street. 'Hullo i
promptly replied, whereupon the Afri
can aforesaid promptly retorted, Gus,
me, sab, Use dressing another cuIlut
man."
IN ATTEMPT TO REPAIR THE RUIZ
OF AMERICAN FORESTS.
The very necessities of their situation