Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1883-09-29

oh tell me, ancient faring man,
What is your grievous needT
81 want to find sir, il can
Aud that with proper speed
Palmer Thateher's drug store, whar
The best spectacles always are"
General Grant used to tell story of an
amateur blacksmith who started to make A
" clcvis out of piece Of iron. Grant con.
tinued that the blacksmith hammered away
till he discovered he didn't know how to make
the instrument named. He then said "I'll
make horseshoe" lie failed. "Then III
make a horseshoe nail. He failed again.
Then in his wrath, plunging the rcd.ho,,
shapcless mass of iron into the blacksmith
water bucket, he exclaimed "I'll make a
darn big fis Of you, anyhow"
81 had rather be right than be president, "
said distinguished American. There is
nothing so important as the right choice of
public men. To choose wisely needs keen
moral vision and that is seldom attained with
on, egood eysight. To have good eyesight one
ought to preserve ones eyes. And the best
way to do that is to call on Wenner & Co., o.,
Fort Street, and examine Kings celebrated
Eye prcserver, of which Messrs. Wenner &
Co. are the only authorized agents.
lie was an uxorious husband resident on
Nuuanu avenue Because he loved his home
and adored his wife, he delighted to boun-
tiiully supply the one and pleasantly surprise the
other. The other day he reached home about
4 p m, having LEFT his place Of business so
early in order to be at his residence before his
wiIes return. lie wanted to surprise her and
the way he did it, though simple enough, was
Ingenious He just spread out for her inSpcc.
ton fourteen samples of the new and unique
sa,eens, just opened at ]. r. Warehouses; No
10 store on Fort street.
How doth the busy little ny
Improve each shining hour2
by stealing sweet things the sly
And making housewives sour.
81 am going to remedy that" said Mr.
Samuel Mott. "IIow so p asked Mr. Lauren
Thurston, attorney at law, whose forte is cross
questioning. "By importing into this market
five thousand fly traps Of new and improved
pattern. The first consignment will arrive
shortly" Those who wish to see how this ar
ticle works ought 10 visit the Beaver Coffee
Saloon"
The American Register, printed in Wash
ington, District Of Columbia, says: "The
dawn Of new era in our political history is
not far distant, il present indications be not
deceptive That is all very well but what
the llonoluan public really wants to know is
something of the dawn right here. In the
mean while the reformers are either whstlinc
to keep their courage up, or are investing in
some Of the numberless kinds of musical in.
struments and music which Lycan & Johnson
keepin practically ineShausibk stock. Every.
thing musical from a Jewsharp TO government
organ is obtained Of those enterprising trades
men.
I" Do you know in what month OF the year
my wife talks the least 2" swell, sup.
pose when she catches cold and loses her
voice" :" Not at ALL lit is in February"
"Why is that }" . Because February has
the fewest days" Il was very good joke,
he thought, and he was laughing at II i'm.
moderately. Just then he eaugh, his wifc's
eye and knew she had overheard every word.
" My dear, he said, :" let US declare that little
transaction off, | know you have long
wanted an automatic sewing machine. For
give me just this once, and wen 90 down to
Castle and Cookies and pick one out-this very
afternoon" They went.
An American visiting London some years
ago was greatly surprised by the number ID
tradesmen who catered to the needs Of "ller
Majesty" There were boot makers, and bon
net makers and makers OF every thing under
the sun that was uSable. There seem TO be no
especial trade caterers TO 4" Ills Majesty" on
these islands -eAccpt to King Cane. II has
been to the agricultural department Of King
Cane that Messn. L. q. Hall q Co. have paid
mos, painstaking attention. Theis "Ilai's
breakers 'in four sixes--and the familiar and
iasoIiic HAL plos have made the irn name
a household word all over the kingdom.
Rev. Samuel Earnshaw, Of Sheffield, Eng.
land, lays that he was once marrying couple.
when he said TO the man Say after me !;
With my body I thee worship" The man
innocenily asked, - Must kneel down 10
her 2" The pastor who had known the bride
from her youth -replied that il was not ezsen.
tiai to bow down to her but il was
TO keep her in good huuor. AMI that there
was no way 50 sure a. to keep hes supplied
With ilun,Iey a raimer's biscuits. Of which
she va4 esiremely fond. Since Henry May
a Co. have ,akea to keeping these iasorie
fancy crackers in stock, the demand Coz them
has greatly increased among IIonoIulan house.
wives. These biscuits are male into '',a,iias. .
"maecasoons. and ''craekneIss. The same
grocers keep also Mackenxie's Albert biscuits.