The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1883-08-09
How to Treat a Guest.

No one in his senses would invite a person
to his country house in order to make him
unhappy At least so we should say at first
thought. Yet the fact remains that very
many guests are invited to the country
houses of their friends and are made ex-
tremely miserable while there. They have to
rise at unusual hours, eat when they are not
hungry, drive or walk or play tennis when
they are not inclined so to do, and they are
obliged to give up those hours which are
precious to them for other duties or pleas
ures, so that many people, after an expert
ence of visiting, are apt TO say, ''No more Of
the slavery of visiting for me, if you please.'
Now the English in their vast country
houses have reduced the custom of visiting
to a system. They are said to be in all re-
spects the best hosts in the world, the mas
ters of the letting-alone system. A man who
owns a splendid place near London invites
his guests for three days or more, and care
fully suggests when they shall come and
when they shall goa very great point in
hospitality. You are invited for the three
train on Monday, to leave by the four train
on Thursday. That means that you arrive
before dinner on Monday, and leave after
luncheon on Thursday. If you can not ac-
cede to these hours, you must write and say
so. Once arrived, your host and hostess
rarely meet you until dinner Your room is
however shown to you, cup OF tea and
some light refreshment is sent up 10 you,
and the well-bred servant who attends to
you tells you at what hour you are expected
in the parlor before dinner. 1t is possible
that some member of the family may be dis
engaged and may propose drive before din
ner, but this is not often done; the guest is
left,tO himself or herself until dinner Cen
eral and Mrs. Grant were shown to their
rooms at Windsor Castle and locked up
there, when they visited the Queen, until the
steward came to tell them that dinner would
be served in a half hour, and they were con-
Quoted to the grand salon, where the Queen
presently entered. In less royal residences
very much the same state is observed. Din
ner is in England the point of day. The host
ess after dinner, and before the separation
for the night, tells her gdests that horses
will be at their disposition for anything or
anywhere that the guests may choose to
drive the next morning, and also asks If they
like to play lawn tennis, if they wish to ex-
plore the park at what hour they will break
fast, or if they will breakfast in their rooms.
Luncheon is at one, and she will be happy
to see you at the informal meal"
Thus the guest has before him the envia-
bic privilege of spending the day as he
pleases He need not talk If he does not
choose; he may take a book and wander off
under the trees; he may take a horse and
explere the country, or he may drive in a vic
toria, phaeton, or any other sort of carriage.
To lady who has her letters to write, her
novel to read, or her early headache to man
age, this liberty is precious.
And il must also be said that no one is al
lowed to feel neglected at an English house.
If the lady says, Il am Il stranger; should
like to be shown over your fine house and
your lovely park" some one is found to do
it, Seldom the hostess, for she has much
else to do. But there is often single sister,
a cousin, or a very intelligent governness
who is summoned Here in our country
we can not offer our guests all these advan-
tages; we can, however, offer them their free
dom, and give them with our limited hospi-
tality their choice of hours for breakfast,
and their freedom from our society.
But the quesiioner may ask, What do we
invite guests for, unless we wish TO see
them? We do wish to see them-a part OF
the day, not the whole day. No one can sit
and talk all day. The hostess should have
her privilege of retiring after the midday
meal, with her novel, for nap, and so
should the guest. Well-bred people under
stand all this, and are glad to give up the
pleasure Of social intercourse for an hour of
retirement. There is nothing so sure to re-
pay one in the long run as these hours of
solitude.
A hostess should remember that when she
asks guests to visit her she has two very i'm
portant duties before her-one is, not to neg
lect her guest; the other is, not to weary her
guest by too much attention. Never give
your guest the impression that he is being
entertained that he is on your mind; fol-
low the daily life of your household and OF
your duties as YOU desire, seeing to it that
your guest is never in an unpleasant position
or neglected. If you have tiresome guest
who insists upon following you around and
weighing heavily upon your hands, be firm,
go to your own room and lock the door; she
will soon take book and go out on the
lawn. If you have sulky guest who locks
bored, throw open the library door, order the
carriage, and make your own escape. But
if you have a very agreeable guest who shows
every desire to please and be pleased, give
that model guest the privilege of choosing
her own hours and her own retirement
Bazar