The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1883-05-12
A DEFECTIVE soclErr nEpoRrE
sc,ne In EDITORIAL Rooms Of the KaIn
mRxoo KnIsOminer.

j.. Growler, managing editor, to city edi
tor: "Say, Smith! What asinine idiot DID
you send over to Jenkins last night to dc
up that private masquerade"
"Let me set! Why, the new man, De
Courcy, l believe"
"send the monumental ass 10 my room
when he comes in; I want to see him"
Half an hour later DeCourcy arrives
from reporting q dogfight out in the coun'
try the sporting editor having gone to q
slugging match), and with fear and tremb
ling approaches the inner sanctum.
"See here, Mr.. DeCorsets! l want tc
know what you mean by sending in copy
Of this kind
The new man" mildly corrected the
pronunciation Of his coguomen, and asked
what was the matter with his work.
whats the matter? why, hades and
%damnation! Read it, man, read III l never
saw anything 10 horribly unfinished in all
my life, Mr.. DeSrokyl Never, sir, neverl'
The embryo jenkins read 1t carefully
and handed it back, saying: swell, Mr.
Growler, the articla seems to be all right
It reads all right, l istter myself"
"PuI-pup.pup-pretty well, nonsensel
| Listen to this rot now: and the
spacious parlors were adorned with natural
flowers Now, MIR. Recherche, that is nice
language for a journal Of the Kai,ohirer',
standing to print now, isn't il? You are a
fine adj sctive Singer, you arel Why, you
bemuddled snoozer you, my little boy ten
years OF age would know enough to say:
And the gorgeous suite OF 0rientally
draped parlors, whose walls were one solid
mass Of dazzling plate glass mirrors from
marble w~ainscoatiug to ttescoed ceiling,
were festooned from cornice to peristyle
and from brocket to architraye these terms
never mean anything special, but they are
stock expressions and should always be
rung in somewhere) with the rarest exot.
les Cexotics,' man, 'e~1oticsf-diwdys,' EN-.
0TlCStr) gathered at a fabulous expense
from the four corners OF the earth, and ar!
ranged in the most skillful and attractive
manner known to the florists art"
Nov, don't you see how very consumpt-
i've flowers sound, when compared with
the rich, rolling 'ex.ot-ics?'"
DeConrcy faltered forth a Rhaky affirma-
tive.
ITO resume, what do you say after flow.
ers'2-'Dancing was INDUCED in until 8 A.
NJ Obi my stricken soull Not q single
reference to the subtle perfume! Where
did you serve your apprenticeship? Don't
you know, my dear Mr1DeC ustard, that a
society report without the subtle perfume
in 1t, is like the play OF Hamlet, with
Hamlet left out! | might have overlooked
the use OF the word flowers in lieu OF 'ex-
otics,' but the absence Of the subtle per-
fume'-Never!! You should have gone on,
after flowers Tor 'exotics'), in this wise:
whose subtle perfume q%uickened the ray.
ished senses Of the gay masquers always
remember 10 spell it with a coy, who now
abandoned themselves to T~erpsichoreau
reyelry-as the dreamy, sensuous waltz,
the dashing polka, and the a~lluring galop,
was discussed in heavenly strains by a
superb orchestra-until the wee sma' hours
("wee sms' hours" In a "bull's eye" on the
gentle reader, every time), arrived, and the
leaden morning rays gave the hitherto daz'
Iii g gas lights in the crystal chandeliers, a
dull and biare appearance .Bistre'. Ia the
correct kibosh, my son, and roundsof the
article with an appropriate contrast.
Nov, Mr.. DeGoosey, in view Of these
lucid instructions, do you think you will
be equal to the choice exotic, subtle per.
fume, sensuons waltz, and bHtre racket in
the future ?" il.
DeCourcy, though it over and made up
bis mind that he would be a gigantic fail.
ure as an ''exotic.er," Subtle Perfumist,"
ora ~delineator OF "bistre". some effects, and
sadly rendered his resignation as Society
Reporter" On the paper.
He is now Chief Custodian OF the Gus.
pidor and Grand Broom Wrestler Extra.
ordinary, in the Kaisomiher office, at q
salary Of So per week and "found"-in old
exchanges for use as a sleeping mattress,
quilts, pillow, etc.