The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1883-05-15
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gone, and looked very tired.
10, darn the baby Everybody aksI
me about the bshy as though ~ was
mine l don't pay no. attention. 10 the
darn thing, except to hntice the FOOLISH
ness going on aroIdd the house Say
! guess that bsbywill grow up to he a
fire engine. Thenurse completing ba-
by on to section Of rubber hose that
runs down into q bottle of milk, anil it
began to get up siean.and pretty soon
the milk began 10 disappear, just like
the water dQe& 9heE ! Gre engine COUP
les ON to ashydfant. Pa calls the baby
odd Number Two l am Number
One,' and il pa had hook and ladder
truck and hose cart, and fire going
he would imagine be was chief engineer
of the fire department. Bot the baby
kicks on this milk wagon milk, and
toSts like dog that's got lost. The
doctor told pa the hest thing he could
do, was to get goat, but pa said since
we 'nishiated him into the Mason, with
the goat be wouldn't have a goat around
no how. The doc told pa the other
kind of goat, l think 1t was Saman
that goat he said, wouldn't kick with it's
head, and pa sent me up into the Polack
settlement to see il l couldn't borrow a
milk goat for few weeks: I got 80,
man to lend US her goat till the baby
got hig enough to chew beef, for a dol.
lar week, AID paid dollar in advance,
snd pa went up id the evening to help
me get the goat. Well, it was the darn
dest mistake you ever seen. There was
two goats so near alike you couldn't tell
which was the goat we leased, and the
other goat was the chum of our goat,
but it belonged to Nlrish woman. We
got a bed cord hitehed around the Irish
goat, and that goat 6idn': recognize the
lease, and when we tried to Jerk it along
it reared right up, and made things reel
quick for pa. don't know Whist there
is about goat that makes it get so
spunky, but. that goat seemed to have a
grudge against pa from the first. II
there were any places on pas manly
form that the goat did not explore with
its head. pa don't know where the places
are. y, it lammed him, and when
laffed pa got mad. I told him every
man ought to furnish his own goats,
when be had u baby, and let 60 of the
rope and started off, and pa said he
knew how 1t was, l wanted him to get
killed. 1t wasn't that, but / saw the
Nirish woman that owned the goat com
ing round the corner OF the house. with
cistern pole. just as pa was getting
the goat out Of the gate the goat got
crosswavs Of the gate, and pa yanked
and doubled the goat right up, and I
thought he bad broke the goats neck.
and the woman thought so too, for she
jabbed pa with the cistern pole just be.
low the belt, and she tried TO get hold
on pas hair, but he had her there. N,
woman can get the advantage of pa that
way cause ma has tried it. Well, pa
explained it to the woman, and she let
pa off il be would pay her two dollars
for damage to her goat, and he paid it,
and we took the nanny goat, and it went
right along with US.
But l have got nv opinion Of a baby
that will drink goats milk. Gosh, it is
like this stuff that comes in a spoiled
coacohut. The baby hasn't done anv.
thing hut blat since the nurse coupled i,
onto the goat hydraut. / had 10 take
all my playtbings out of the basemen.
to keep the goat from eating them.
guess the milk will taste OF powder and
singed hair now. The goat got to eat
ing some Roman candles me and my
chum had laid away in the coal bin, and
chewing them around the furnace, and
the powder leaked out and coal fell
out Of the furnace on the hearth, and
you'd died to see pa and the hired girl
aud the goat. You see pa can't milk
nothing but milk wagon. and he g6'
the hired girl to milk the goat and they
we're Just hunting around the basement
for the goat, with tin Cup, when the
fire. works went of. Well, there was
balls of green, and red, and blue fire
and spilled powder blazed up, ana the
goat Just looked astonished, and looked
on as though it was sorry so much good
fodder was spelled, but when its hair
began to burn. the goat gave one snor'
and went between pa and the eifl like i,
vas shot from a cannon and It knocked
pa over a wash boiler into the coal bin
and the hired girl in amongst the kind.
ling wood. and she crossed herself and
repeated the catekism, and the goal
jumped up on top Of the brick furnace
and they couldn't get it down. / heard
the celebration and weHt down and took
pa by the pants and pulled him out ol
the coal bin, and be said he would sur.
render, and plead guilty of being the
biggest fool in Milwaukee. / pulled the
kindling wood off the hired girl. and
then she got mad, and said she would
milk that goat Of die. o, that girl has
got sand. She used to work in the glass
factory. Well, sir, it was sight worth
two shilling admission, to see thst hired
girl get up on step ladded to milk thai
goat on top OF the furnace, with pa sit.
ting on barrel of potatoes, bossins
the job. They are going to fix a gang
plank to get the goat down of the fur.
mace. The baby kicked on the milh
last night. ! guess besides tasting o.
powder and burnt hair, tie milk was toe
warm on account OF tie firnace. Ps
has got to grow a new lot Of bsir or
that goat, or the woman won't take il
hack. She don't want no bald goa
Well they can run the baby and goat tc
suit themselves, cause I have resigned
| have gone into business. Don't you
smell anything that would lead you tt
business No drugstore this time,
and the boy got up and put his thumbs
in the srmholes OF his vest, and looked
proud.
20, don't know as smell anything
except the faint odor of horse blanket
What have you gone into anyway 2
and the grocery man put the wrapping
paper under the counter and put the rec
chalk in his pocket. SO the boy couldn
write any sign to hang up outside.
"fou hit it the first time. | have &C
cepted situation of teller in liver
stable" said the boy as he searche
around for the barrel Of cut sugar
which bad been removed.
"Teller in livery stable! Well tbs