The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1883-07-04
THE PRESS.
MORNING. JULY A.
Wit and Wisdom.

Wit and Wisdom.
Inquirer No. we are not proud over cur
feat in making the only bull'e-eye in the rifle
mach last Saturday 1t was altogether too
much Ike having good dinner on Sunday
and starving all the rest Of the week.-Low-
ell Citizen.
Horstords Acid Phosphate for Women
and Children.
DR.. JOS. HoLT, New Orleans, La, says ~
have frequently found it of excellent service in
cases OF debility, loss of appetite, and in con-
valescence from exhaustive illness, and par
ticalxrly of service in treatment of women and
children
The experience OF Naomi, the daughter OF
Enoch, should not be forgotten by American
girls. She declared that she would not marry
any one who was not "just perfect" and she
did not get husband until she was $50 years
old.--Philadelphia News.
In the Hop Porous Plaster the virtues of
Fresh Hops are. combined with strengthening
and stimulating balsams, and it's cures OF
Weak Back, Pain in the Side, Rheumatism
and Neuralgia or Pain in the Chest are simply
marvellous, 1t being more efficacious and thor
ough than any liniment or liquid remedies
You'll say SO after using.
There's nothing like being practical, after
all. Professor Proctor has temporarily ceased
star-gazing and is concentrating his gigantic
intellect upon the subject of divided skirts.
Probably the professor once tried to assist a
lady over the fence and ANONYMOUSLY failed.
New York Commercial Advertiser.
Colden's Liebig's Liquid Beef Tonic ard
Invigorator
win cure indigestion, dyspepsia or loss of ap-
petite. Ask for Colden's OF druggists.
All the Modern Advantages. (Miss Edith
has just favored the company with brilliant
performance on the violin.) Miss Edith's ma
(to her neighbor)-"I do so admire the violin.
Your daughter plays, l suppose" Mrs De
Porgue-"Wsll, no; Alicia CAN'T play the vi
oline, but she plays beautifully on the bsndc-
line. You know she was two whole months at
the Paris Observatory. life.
The concentrated power and curative virtues
of Ayers Ssrssparilla render it the most re-
liable and economical medicine that can be
used. 1t contains no dangerous or harmful in
gradients, and may be safely administered to
patients OF all ages. When you are sick the
best medicine that can be obtained is none too
good. and is the cheapest, whatever its cost.
The eclipse expedition has returned from
the South Sea. Professor Swift was one of the
party, and the trip did not yield single new
comet but it settled the question that moth
ing exists inside of Mercury large enough to
be dignifed with the name of planet" How
much this discovery is worth 10 cur Govern
ment is not stated, but we should think i
would be not less than two dollars and a hall
And how many comets escaped during Profes-
sor SSift's absence will never be known.-Nor-
ristown Herald.
The great sale of Swedish Remedies is aston
ishing, and for eurichiug the blood, creating
can appetite, or strengthening the whole sys-
tenn nothing can surpass these remedies.
The old man Jones was rubbing his hands
and smiling all over as he met Brown the other
day, and the latter felt compelled to inquire.
Has your silver mine turned out bonanza?''
Haven't heard from it in four weeks You
look as pleased as if you had thousand tons of
ore in sight" "Oh no; I have just been CIV
ing away $4,000 worth of the stock. "Not Civ.
ing it away" Eyes sir. Didn't cost the re-
cipiepts penny" "Well, what kind of a
way il that TO run silver mine?" "Oh, don't
you worry, Brown-not bit We've got to
have some shares out in order to make an-~as-
sessmslt and next week weshall All s sor sew
enty cents on the dollar in order 70 meet the
expenses of survey and machinery Don't you
worry about me, Mr.. Observation-Disclosures
News.
No intelligent man, from the Atlantic to the
Pacific, whether young, middle-aged or old,
can consider his library complete without ''The
Science OF Life, or Self Preservation" See
advertisement.
The late Baron de Rothschiid once took
cab to his offices, and on alighting rendered the
proper fare. The cabman received it, but kept
his hand open and looked at the money sig
nifcantly, which caused the baron to inquire
whether ii was not right. "Oh, yes" replied The
esbman, "it's quite right, but your sons USUALLY
give me double" They do, do they?" was
the baron's reply; "well, they have rich
father and can afford it, / have not."-Lon
don Society.