Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-11-17
ETIQUErTE FOR TRAVELLERS.
How To Behave in a Pullman Parlor
Car.

IL
Car.
BY Old Traveller
Do not rush in and grab the first seat you
see Enter lesurey aud quietly as you would
IL the parlor We're not on wheels Bow pleas
antiy to the porter and give him quarter.
BE not over-particular about seats. as it will
indicate that you do not travel often Say lam
guidly, "Oh, anywhere on the shady side" and
hand the porter half dollar. He will give YOU
good seat depend upon it.
Unless an experienced traveller. the DISPOSE
ton OF your extra wraps. baggage. &c. NAV
bother You if you attempt to do it yourself. be-
sides exhibiting your ignorance to a whole car
load Nod at the porter in a familiar sort of
way. slip dollar into his hand. and ia a iiffy
he VIII have everything out ofyour reach and Sc
curely fastened on. in and among all sorts OF
confrivances which You had not even observed
Ii you are so unfortunate as TO need the pres
ence OF cuspadore do not go hunting around
the Car for one. That is exceedingly vulgar
ContrIve to drop two-dolar bill into the por-
ter's pocket aud the cuspadore will be forth
coming.
In all probability the car will be as hot as an
equatorial conservatory. 1t generally is. Ifyou
attempt to lift a window the chances are that
you will fail. you are not familiar with the
your chair and watch the porter until you catch
his eye. when. with slight movement of your
little finger. you can make your wants known.
Enforce the sign with a rapid flight of five
dollar bill from your pocket to his, and in a
few seconds You will be enjoying a delightful
breeze free from dust and cinders.
Should you become thirsty You can go to the
water cooler and take little without extra
charge
When nearing your journeys end the porter
will kindly remind you of that fact and stand
before you brush in hand. Accompany him to
an alcoVe and add few bills to his purse if he
can find room for them. The vigor of the brush
ing you receive will depend entirely on the de-
nominations of the bills.
1t is no longer considered necessary to back
out of parlor car in order not to offend the
porter Hand him your pocketbook and he
Will Immediately take your baggage and pre-
cede you to the platform. and most likely will
bow politely to you as the train moves off
Saturday Smiles.
Dat of sight, out of mind-A blind lunatic
Canals cannot be free; there are locks and
quays upon them.
Secular music cannot be played Sunday upon
an upright piano.
The modern widows might is a very different
thing from that which We read about in the
Scriptures.
at is mere matter of FORM" said the lady
as she adjusted her cOrsets. Cincinnati Satur-
day Night.
A young lady called her beau "Honeysuckle, !"
because he is always hanging over the front
ratings.
Inquirlng employer: :'Are the young mans
habits resuiar' .;;Well, yes, he gets drunk
about every night"
Every man has three characters-that which
he exhibits, that which he has, and that which
he thinks he has.
~ GU can't make a silk purse out of your sows
here muttered Bismarck, as he signed the
edict against American pork.
THAT prisoner has a very smooth counte-
nance" said the Judge to the sheriff Yes
said the sheriff; ''he was ironed Just before he
was brought in"
'Dear me-" said good old lady on 9Th
avenue the other evening. chow this craze for
china is growing. Here's a New York club that
is paying 5000 for a pitcher
80 MAJ" exclaimed little Austin girl, glanc-
Ing at the steam-Saure on a stationary engine
''1ts sixty o'clock. didn't know 1t ever got SO
late as that"
eyes, sir" said the detective, "Ill look up his
character. BY the way: Do you wish to ascer-
tain that he's nice or bad person? I always
like to please my customers. '-Bostoa Post
Matthew Arnold was, it is stated surprised at
not being met in New York by Indians. If the
Indians had ever read any of his poetry they
would have doubtless me: him there-Arhdnsatp
Irdreier.
A beautiful maid in Bismarck,
When the Lamp was turned down for spark,
Smtg5iedup to her Fred,
And t!enbngly said,
II always feel Skeered In the dark"
"Why Our Fish Disappear is the title of an
article in the american Angler. 1t is because
small boys with bcnt-pin hooks and pockets full
OF worms are allowed to fish in the stream after
the city sports ha We gone home Disguised.
"Tnere is one thing connected with your ia
ble.' SAID drummer to q western landlord
THAT is not surpassed even by the best hotels
in Chicago" .''Ies?" replied the pleased landlords
land what is that" This salt"
When is door not door? When it is lar
Oh no; that answer belongs to the first decade
of the last century. Nowadays a door is not
door when it's a negress-an egress. See?-The
Judge
higgins never losses his gallantry When he
came hOme-how- cOme-yOu-sO the other night,
and Mrs. b. told him she was ashamed of him.
higgins replied: Better my wife (hic) should
be ashamed of me (hic) than that l should be
ashamed of my wife"
''My case is just here" said citizen to law
yer. THE plaintiff will swear that hit him. 1
will swear that did not. Now, what can you
lawyers make out of that if we go to trial?"
"a hundred dollars, easy" was the reply
where do you suppose that man is driving?"
inquired an Austin gentleman pointing to a
flashily dressed fellow behind stylish team
Into bankruptcy" was the quick reply of
bystander.
baptism in IIades' depth
AS hot as boiling tar
Awaits the man who quits room
And leaves the door ajar.
And he who softly shuts the door
Shall dwell among the best,
Where the wicked cease from troubling
And the weary are at rest
"No sir, my daughter can never be yours"
"Ihen / suppose YOU object TO me because am