The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1883-11-08
Why Men Do Not Marrt.


The English marriage market has
become an arena of competition as
keen as any auction room. The nat
ural impulses of women are disre-
garded. Mothers adyise prudent alli-
ances, ard discountenanGe, by fair
means and foul, love matches. Girls
choke down their feelings and aid and
abet their seniors in encouraging men
who are catches" throwing off the
restraints which made their grand
mothers charming; but still the cry
goes up; Men do not marry" And
vet the most inveterate club-man, the
mocker at love in a cottage, was once
youth not blase, to whom the vision
of home was enchanting. Almost
every man tries his hand at realizing
some such dream early in life; but
the attempt is usually nipped in the
bud by want of means or by failure
to win the particular woman on whom
his heart is set. He suffers acutely
but man is an elastic creature. In
time he mingles again with the world,
not entirely proof against feminine
fascination, but finding it almost i'm
possible to set up an ideal. Matrorls,
with attractive daughters cannot COM
plain that their daughters see few
men. The tendency of the age is to
level the barries between the sexes
girls play tennis, they row, they rink,
they skate, they sit in the smoking
room, they dance not only In the eve
ninGs, but in the afternoons.
The natural tendency of such init
mate association would be matrimo-
ny. But the fact is that men who
might have had serious intentions are
frightened off before liking begets
love. There is an all prevailing
fuss pervading the intercourse Of
young people which is altogether det-
rimental. The instant pair begin
to show any particular liking for each
others society, the wide world around
them Is instantly on the qui vive.
The mother watches, fuses, reports
to her cronies, and too Otter cate
chizes the girl. Wounding her sense of
delicacy, and making her conscious
and constrained, or leading her to i'm
agine herself beloved. when the mans
feeling is only that of pleasure in the
society of young woman who does
her best to make herself agreeable:
Men are usually ignorant how girls
note and weigh the attentions they
receive, and that they impart the de-
tails of such homage to sympathetic
Of enVious) feminine ears, thus giving
body to vague nothings and brooding
over tribes till they gather shape
Meanwhile the man, having said the
pretty things his idea of politeness
has prompted, goes away, forgetting
them and their recipient, while she is
expecting a declaration as the result
of q few soft nothings, a squeeze OF
the hand or tender glanees. Women
are not aware, on the other hand, how
sincerely he may like and admire q
girl without thought beyond mere
good will. And it is precisely the bet
ter kind of man who falls into the
misfortune OF raising false hopes
the man who believes in the simplicity
and candor of women, desires theil
sympathy and values their regard.
A man of the world has the instinc
OF Misrepresentation developed strongly
enough for his protection. The sens
of safety Is the real bond of many o.
the alliances now so fashionable
sometimes salutary, often mischiev
ous-between men and married wo
men. Kept within bounds, no suspi
cion attaches to them, no hopes ar,
built upon them. The lady receive
the petit SONS due to the female ma
ture, which the husband of Ions
standing often neglects; the man re
ceives the sympathy grateful to tn
masculine creature.
Men feel this without analyZins
their sentiments and it is a common
complaint among them nowadays tina
it is impossible to become well &C
quainted with girl without excitin:
the too lively anxiety of her friends
And no wise man proposes withou
knowing the character of the girl h.
wishes to marry. The mothers VIII
are so eager for their daughters estab
Gshment are wise, although this PIE
cipitation is not only foolish but in
decorous.