The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-07-14
SPICE BOX.

''Boys and women" says an experienced
observer, always want to be where they
amt"
The farmer should be man able to talk
on anything that comes up.-New Orleans
Picayune.
Conversation of Doctors-"I like very
much to call Doctor X. into consultation"
Why, is he strong man?, mo; but he
always has some good story to tell you"
Translated from the Omnibus Madame
Wherefore art thou then so sad, Chris
tiana? Has thy lover also gone to the war;
three!
1t is now certain that Englishmen are i'm
pervious to Il joke-Of a certain sort The
burlesque "Evangelne" was Hat failure in
that country, and the audience found the
Lone Fisherman an absolute and solemn
mystery"
The Lion meeting the Fox, one day. Re-
marked, with some Concern, "Reynard, Why
are you so suddenly Melancholy | Think
| have Never Before seen you so Sad"
"Hush"' returned Reynard, Il wish to Take
On the Appearance of Great Humorst!"
He-"May call you Revenge?' She
Why He" Because revenge is so sweet"
She-"Certainly you NAV, provided how
ever you will let me call you Vengeance"
He-"And why would you call me Ven
geance?' She-"Because vengeance is mine"
And she became his in few months after.
Our Governors and President should take
hint from Queen Victoria. The Queens
animal message seldom exceeds a column in
length, hence she is elected for life. If she
was 20 infiict six-column solid nonparel
message on her subjects the organs over there
would soon bring out a new candidate for the
throne Herald.
young gentleman who was pledged to
take young lady to party remarked to her
on the afternoon previous to the event, that
he was going home to take a sleep, in order
to be fresh. That's right, ~ she replied but
do not sleep too long" Why" he asked
Because" she answered II do not want
you to be too fresh" -Philadelph Sunday
Item.
Webster unabridged: Up in Chautauqua
county one day last week a politician was
watching severe storm from his doorsteps
when farmer acquaintance turned in has
tily from the road and drove under shed.
What's the matter. Bob?" asked the politi-
clan. We'll" said the farmer, ~ believe
thar's one of them slycoous coming."-Buf-
falo Express.
A bad little boy was reproved by his moth
err on account of his frequent use of swear
words" The next time l hear you swear
ing said she. Il shall tell your father
Not long afterward she heard him ripping
out oaths, and calling him into the house she
put him to bed. While talking with him
seriously at the bedside, she said: You must
remember, Willie, that even if I shouldn't
hear you swear, God would" Yes, sobbed
out the culprit ''but He wouldn't be mean
enough to go'n tell on fell-r."
Three men were in an open boat upon the
desert deep. The small stock of bread and
water which they had managed to throw into
the boat before the good ship went down was
long since exhausted, and with parched
threats and hunger gnawing in their hearts
they lay waiting for death to end their mis-
cries. Suddenly appeared upon the horizon
dingy white speck; it grew larger and larger
until it took the unmstakable outlines OF a
ship bearing down upon them at fourteen
knot rate. One of the men, with an energy
born OF joy at this unexpected deliyeranoe,
raised himself to his feet, and swinging his
arms aloft, shouted; "A sail. a sail" One
of his com panions smiled family, while the
other began fumbling his pockets in dis
tracted manner, and then cried: "A sae
Mine gracious! and l don't got no gaia
logues!"