Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1883-08-24

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G. A. DETCHMENDY,.
Private $. G. U. S. A.
NEWS COMMENTS.
z PEANUT -four is becoming popular in Virginia.
H1r cur with club if You would see the dog
daze. @-
JAY GOULD is now figuring on how much he
has banked on the strike.
1T is remarkable how the president catches so
many fish,. BE never spits on his bait.
In speaking of New York bale writer says:
s:She has the true Italian air." Maccaroni and
cheese! Whew!
The connecting link between the negro and
the ape has been discovered. Colorado bears are
fond of watermelons.
PADDY RYAN wants to fight Sullivan again.
He will get his features knocked into shape
that will suit him yet.
MAGAZINE publishes ON item entitled: "How
wan was D1sLr1DuCcA on I0e 1aEGQ LII OOcbu
refer to cyclones, however. y
ANOTHER Ohio man has resigned an Office but
do not cry out your disbelief too suddenly. 1t
was to accept better one. &
The president doesn't even wear collar while
fishing, and the dudes are almost angry enough
to demand personal explanation.
The Massachusetts council having rejected
nominee appointed by Gov. Butler, he purposes
filling the place with colored man.
FRED GEBHARDr will take number of horses
to England for the autumn races. The lily will
be on hand to yell at the proper moment. i
BILLY E EMERsoN, the minstrel, has. .psi S25,-
600 for San FrancisccAbasf,l which he will
y convert into brne tor INDECENT actors.
A POET in the New York journal addresses
ballad 'To Lonely Addie." Addie is probably
a cashier in store that doesn't advertise. -
A NEW YORK paper thinks the strike didn't
end Ikea romance. Scarcely. 1t partook more
of the nature of an unexpected cyclone.
A LOUISVILLE editor has signed the pledge.
This may not appear remarkable until the fact
ia recalled that Louisville is in Kentucky.
A WRITER on rural paper of New York state
claims to have seen a rainbow at midnight.
Prohibition seems to have been failure in his
locality.
MISS JENNIE FLOOD, the California Million
airess, has been captured by real English baron
with sscontinued in our next" name and an in
valid bank account.
SIR LYON PLAYFA1R, of England, will visit
America this season. He is quite an expert at
poker but can never hope to win in this country
if he tries to play fair.
At recent fair an Auburn lady won set of |
false teeth. Although she still has her own
grinders she finds the new ones come real handy |
for ornamenting pie crusts.
New YORK family has three pairs of twins |
and a set of triplets. The only sermon they
ever heard preached was from the text, "1n-
crease and multiply" ETC., etc.
THE STANDARDS tell us that he who stumbles
twice over the same stone deserves to break his |
shins. Will Mr.. Samuel j. Tilden please clip |
this out and paste it in his polo cap.
TIE United States steamer Iantic is about to |
sail for the Arctic regions in search Of the |
Greely party. Next year some vessel will be |
dispatched in search of the Yantic.
Iris announced that on the timbers of Noah's |
ark the initials IS. J. T." have been found.
Just what manner of animal Sammy presonated
to get on board will be stated in due time.
Two returned strikers were dismissed from |
the Western Union Office at New York for |
speaking of two ncn-strikers as "scabs." 1t
isn't always the best policy to speak the truth.
Mrs. R. B. HAYES is working bookmark for
President Arthur to reward him for refusing to
travel on Sunday, What will she say when she
learns that be lays over on Sunday to go fishing?
LADY witness in court in Germany has
been indicted for perjury simply because she
.wore that she was only twenty-one years old,
when in reality she had seen twice that number
of winters, besides several severe falls.
The general in command of the forces opera
ting against the French at Tonquin is named
Heang Tang Dang. When any one calls him
from q distance the troops think it is bugle
blast and promptly fall in. " -
SOME of the editorial excursionists boast in
their letters that not q road agent was sighted
on the trip. Isn't it remarkable that representa-
+;ves of such untold wealth should get through
the almost trackless wilds unmolested?
Mrs. FARGO. the widow of the millionaire ex-
4 ,,,a..man, has married q newspaper writer. #