The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1883-01-06

ever adorned this world.
There are some men so talkative
that nothing but the toothache can
make one Of them hold his jaw.
Most Of the shadows that cross
or path through this life are crossed
BY standing in cur own light.
Somebody says that "ballet girls
are not 80 bad as they are painted"
We hope not. They are painted
frightfully.
-"Niola" wants to know what
rhymes with honeymoon. Well, dear,
it is money soon, and don't let your
fond husband forget it.--Burdette.
-"Why is Hymen also represented
as bearing torch?" asked the Boston
Post, Oh, that is easy enough. It's
hint as to who shall build the fires.
The reason that aesthetics SO adj
mire the stork is that he can stand for
hours on one leg and look as though
he didn't know anything and didn't
want to.
a leading lady in London society
"took the cake" by marrying her baker
Fe was probably a well-bred fellow
when he found he was needed. N. Y
Advertiser.
Bacon has said that {" ding
makes full man." and ma res
taarant keepers have adopted Il Ian
Of supplying their customers it'll
morning papers.-N. O, Plea
a New York Judge has decided
that tobacco is not an article of nee
essity, and dissolved an INJUNCTION
which permitted a shopkeeper to sell
cigars on Sunday. There is no use ia
asking if that judge 81 okes.
a young lady was showing an
elderly woman a beautiful cluster dia-
mond ring, present, when the old
lady dropped her steetacIes to the
end Of her nose, and exclaimed: "Lor'
sakes! | thought it was a seed wartr'
Comparisons are Odious. Miss
Ethel Con Donkey: Il wonder what
language Balaam's donkey spoke?"
Sister: oh. the same as Balaam
spoke-IIcbrew | suppose" Miss
Ethel: "Hebrev And | find even
French 50 difficult"
Subscribers Of the Boomerang
who find cross bones and skull with
crest Of metallic burial casket drawn
in blood on The wrapper of'h irpaper
will know that their paper has expir-
cd and that something has got to be
done.-i.aramie Boomerang.
a lawyer recently lost a bride in
q peculiar way. He appeared at the
wedding, but, on being called the GER
emony, from sheer force of habit pro-
tested that he was not ready to pro-
coed and demanded delay. And so
the bride got mad and shipped him.
The first day Artemus Ward en-
tered Toledo, travel worn and seely
he said to an editor who was on the
street, Mister, where could | get
good dinner for two shillings" He
was told; AMI then he enquired, Il
say, mister, where could ! get the two
shillings?"
a young woman IN Oil City pos
sesscs a bass voice with compass to
d fat in the bass cleft It is under
stood that when this girl asks her
young man il he loves her as much as
he did last Thursday, he unhesitat-
ingly replies in the affirmative
Derrick.
At a recent divorce trial the wife
was asked question to which she
made the following reply: "When |
was first married | was 50 jealous of
ny husband that | thought every
woman | saw wanted him, and now
wonder how | ever could have been
such fool as to have wanted him my
self"
4 gentleman conversing with a
group Of ladies concerning an absent
beauty Of thirty at the very u.ast r.
marks: How handsome she mas.
have been" The words are greeted
with sympathetic murnurs, AMI he
continues imprudently: And for that
matter she is 50 yeti" \ glacial sill
ence ensues, with a fevcrish fultering
OF fans.
The changes Of eighty years in
the cost Of living are illus rated by Il
copy d he bill presented % Presi lent
Jackson for board during his inaugur-
alton, lie staid Al what is now vii
lari's, and was charged s. Cor four
,Io-. l,,rl IL L.,,..i+ g..