davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-03
At Random.

>pf.nsaeid o. Sunday News
 The girl who ser, fellow a valentine pasted on postal card didn'; care two cents for him.
 "peacc be 10 her hashes. was the way d letter ended from formc: boarder 10 the relatives of h's deceased landlady.
 l, would be cute IS sensible to pu, a dollar dress on a five cent doll. as 10 put q seHen,y-ivc dollar seal-shin sacque on seven'y-fvc cent woman.
 The neigh; O: fashion is ,o place hand. some iidies on satin covered sofas the best effect IS given when used 10 cover up worn out spo, on the sofa
 If you ~ill show us pretty girl with dimples in her cheeks, we will be, our pas'e-po, that her lip is sore from biting II 10 make the dinples show.
 The boys say iha, kisses will destroy freckies, and girls who have been under going the pleasure for number of years with no dimuni,ion of the spots are still taking the an,idote freely; only on irial you know.
 Ii IS said tha: the boo, and shoe deal CTS of Yellow Springs only have 10 keep one size of shoes for girls of ,ha, town. They are up in the teens in numbers as well as the girls in years. They do this so ihe girls will not have 10 expose the size of their feet.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-03
Not Much of a Show.
ENahanee

The other morning, while the urbane manager of Woodward's gardens was smoking four-bit cigar and medi,a.ively listening 10 the untitled walls of Tom ca; tha, had just been swallowed alive by the anaconda tall thin, scienttic-look- ing man, with goa,ee and blue glasses. entered the gate and remarked in an in- sinuating manner
 of coarse yoa pass the seien,,hc fra ;ern,iy =
 "of course we 0 no,. sad the show snaa
 ..Hha;. no, the fi,aafs. not the pian- eers ln ;he srca; march af the mlac mic ,he fi'he;i4rd ot the iaan';e bcy aud:: = fesasacd :ke TEaiess Y. ~l,h stc@: s@-- as5se.
 =; teze ypa. safzss'.-a'i, - ea .se saa#=ttor - ;he a.sz1, .s'.- r5aa '@,.:= ~ ias,= :sof##ss '1ai s.ze :he fze.;-! Ra.caa#ae- ssssr sEs =e,s. Azs. ,.ta set ..se es:fsa = sss Aas ee11e i.an nd -: e2.
 ..aea Ha. de.a ne - . thei fise CT .s. lcfcr5se,y. - ;.lirk ;ha. DO. tgszsr of eostsla ssfa phie eenehel6sy should he 3cnied aara.t.arce ;o 2 ,h4rG-e.ass Laa' Has he skAms saisbus Teen fed vet"
 sh.zh = asked the ,iser nm aae:er.
 ~The skanga:.sas. A-op'ee got one haven't you
 Wees: belie,c NC have small fe- male someWheTes. sad inc suu'y's friend douh;fally.
 Il never knew iirst-class collection 10 have les ihAn .Wo pair sad 'he pIoies- sar. lon;emptuoaslv. How toy6ur ali- rll;hs stand this cold weather. eh :"
 k iI.:,ths: asked the sslse AN.aspeleea az sfegator of our.os.;les whats them : Some new kind Of bird you don't mean astn
 .-t's;rIiSes bc ra,,scya. t=i-sa s,:da the suc- eesso. of Darwin "ostfi3ses Are nothing. ive shot more c,tridees with 9al.l sho, ihsa aa&e So, ha,'s or youT head Yau ' n acs-a,ly mean to s.: there and ;eil sas yea asFn't =; ssns'c azlmuta io ycat Ia :"
 i1oa's 1e,.ese have" admitted the .s 5..af.3 c,dcr mortified; what aie .4t, i.,e
 "Oh they're 0, the order sp.nslls spic- fndi,s. abau; cish; feet hish. Far peels of in ,he spring, you know the siberian species. mean. suppose you go, one ef these rectangular African fip-goohlaes tha, reae he'd New York the other day ="
 No; I'm darned # did" said the much sgi,aied snowman. Here I've been keeping an agen; in New York on a big salary 10 look oA for attractions, and he doesn't catch on to the first blamed thing. Spends all our money on second hand partners and kangaroos with rheu- naiios- I'll bounce him by telegraph"
 Haven, even go; flipgoohly. eh :" unused the scientist. in a tone of grea, pity. And l shouldn't be surprised if you didn', have golden-cres,ed ouspidor in your whole show"
 Neither have; neither l have. re- piled the wretched promoter of peiioans. Tn tone of great bitterness. S'pose you JUS, step in. sir, and look round mebbe ,he'e's something else you could say"
 'N-no. guess not, said the tall man. 'lt would hardly pay me to spend so much valuable scientific time n a fourth class show like this. No, even an azi- mu,h, eh? should think you'd be afraid of being actually mobbcd some time I'm sorry for you, my good man; sorry for you. I've no dosbt you mean well. but--not solitary skamga,ibus: Grea, Scoatr
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-03
TkaekeEay's M,sappi.ed Philan,hroph,

t-oftsRH 4-c[aftF-
 head a curious sta.y of Thackerav las, T ght. and believe bio be imprinted Fhackegay was one day saunlering away from the G4raes ,!eh ,hen close ,o Co ven: garden and, s.roilinS through Gran bourne alley. stopped opposite pc shop around which several uHchirs ef both seAes Aeie-el.g., ,c9i. locking ~wlth wu.i Il eNes uPaG he pork pies the bake. had si placed r. th= si.l1os far sale. lha-AeEay had | great sindneSs Tor ehiidren and dumb anm4is. IT fac, ior any creature lhat could mol hii bae, 4 lnguieu. so ms soul Mas touched by the hur sy-looking children. Calling the taiiesi. sip oi siIl some eleven of ,~else years old. he gave her half a crown, teiling her 10 buy Ave sixpenny pies take one herself and siVe ;he others to her h;;le companions. Presently he s.sS the ST. w:.e t.e i've pork pies. one n her hand and the e;hcis m her apron making of .ss her tcs; pace. oveItaking her he Feproached her Miih taking all and not giving her ,Iiends any. where upon the girl screamed out: Le, me alone. you nasty. dirty old beast. or I'll call a policeman The novelist Ii Is needless''o say. dropped this Flower oi St. Giles like. as he said. "a hot potato" and never dabbled IT practical phiian- throphy again. He took cynical pleas ure in relating the story as an instance of early dcpraviiy. Ali sho know anything of juvenile vice in London will under stand ,ha, there IS nothing wonderful in the incident, excep, that the girl spen, all the money in pies instead of pocket ing. Il she had pocket. the silver
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-03
What Josh Billings Knows About Some Country Hotels.
 fFxchxnrrl

Old Josh Billings may be an old iims humorist and his style may be growing ! little ancient, but he can get about as near the ruth as any man we ever saw l The following from his pen may be old but we never saw Ii till the other day, and we take il for granted that many of oui travelling friends have never read IL: i 1 don't know Of any business more i fiaitersome than the tavern business l There don't seem 10 be anything 10 do but to stand in front of the register with pen behind the ear and see tha; the guests enter the house then yank bell ] rope SIX or seven times: then tel John 10 show the gentleman 10 97o, and ,htE take four dollars and fifty cents neN: morning rem the poor traveller, and lei him went.
 This seems 10 be the whole thing and i, is the whole thing in most cases.
 You will discover the following de- scrip.ion mild one of abou, nine hotels oui of len between the Atlantic and ia- cifIc oceans across the niied States n a straigh, hne.
 Your room is thirteea feet i've inches by nine feet seven inches. parallelosraIn- ly.
 The carpe. s iagrsiacd- grained with the dus, and kerosene oil and ink spots oi other generations.
 There are two pegs n the room ' hi:eh coats eR to. eEse ai .hcr biose T ..na ihe other pellcd aa, and missing
 Inc bureau has three legs aaa ere briek.
 The glass on the hareau swings or i've p!vots 2aieh have ies, the.r grip. There IS but ore tovei oa the taek. thin but wet.
 The ram water IT ,he pitcher c-snse ou, of the well.
 The soap Is as tough 10 wear as ~het- stone.
 There are ,hr5e chairs. cane. se,icn. and one IS a rocker: all three IS busted
 There IS match safe-emp,y. There Is no curtain on the window and there don't want 10 be any; you can ! see oat, and who can see in:
 The bell rope has come of about si> inches ,hls side of the ceiling.
 The bed IS modern s,at-ooito;n. W iih ! ,so mattresses. one cotton and one husk and beth harder and abo4, IS thick as : sea biscuit.
 Aoa enter the bee ,iaefays. ard ea- feel e.eS sat Il ea = easy lo- co@5a ;ae Us of .4 sfil.fea.
 ac bed s snha eisL.
 4a.. -Icep soIae. ts-: ra.- ot eraa -..os deal
 Haf b.eahiss; sea s..ae :. .eae. ...ae .t5a 5gfee soo eo.G q ple=t alisef iret .sess k. s h ie- +.'s a> tha, ;ssss.az l. 4ae. Hs, E> e. :.lsas5r - eas les..
 s5Hesd, sei.s. bee.s;e :. .haat = ;!aei 4s b..s,ef r."slef. .r~ @s tough as hound ear
 Tabie covered Mn fie:es few scafel ;o-aea;h pi5sles CT o..c .: ,aem and se cr.ekcTs on the other.
 eersan; eitl Nith hoops on hang around yen earnestly and wants 10 knoA II YOU want another up u coffee.
 leu say. No. ma am thank you. and push back your chain.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-03

4 German s,a,is,ician estimates iha; 6-oeo 900 rats were drowned by the late man works for two weeks with dollar trap and pound ot cheese 10 catch ore poor old rodent, he brags over ii as if he had won horse raee.-Ersiss<e.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-03
DEAR HANDS.

Reussened and worn with eeaseiess ioil and care,
 Ne perfuned grace, no dAiniy ski9 had these.
 They earned for winter hands je~eled
 ease.
 A.a kept ihe sears unios.ly for her share. Patien, and slos thes had the Niii 10 beaF The worlds whole burdens. bat no power to Selxe
 The fsing joys of life. the gifts that please, The gold and gems that others hnd SO far. Bear hands where bridal jewel never shone. Mkefeon no lovers KISS was ever pressed. Crossed in unwonted qeei CD the breast; see through tears, vour glory newly won, The golden eirclei oi life's so'k well done, Sci ~,sh sAinins Pe@a Of perfect resi-.
 -.ikLssfi. MssnIf
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-03
To See it is to Admire it and SubScI
 for 1t.

No Joarnat published Y
 humorous journal than HE AKKANSAN TKAVELEk <
 pure n hunor, GENUINE AMERICAN JOURNAL. fl
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-03
CHhpTak N.

Something had 10 De done. Iules was no, an inventive genius, but he w IS keen q q bargain. One of his nsighbors kep; small irat staad, and he offered ,o gise
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-03
0HAFIHk F.

MAsa good Mother B1;aba>. dccidci To eNa,uAie in,> annoying tefrcs,ili sphere. the halt oi which. as history eocks tells us ~as diseeyrfe& hs the eldest s3n <; pamHleo Gele.nha and Sulanna Ton, tpai0Sst. hs loil.e. atC- d'ent ~l,e. she lo; M>s aae iautal.4- rosso that had been bul W.4ua nalnbast as ~as tsNe Ter bi-s>.9g s',.rs of amber b-.i.. sti iNtn'y f541 ;a 'hc soon-:a-hc-e. a a.,-ot. .,.,i.ca fs.cs. .Gta she calmly Cs 1;,a and Nsz: ;a .ct o@a ilas=.. IT < 94,.,. :; ~ss tti:e. colo c=A w-H sae w.s> .tf.. ..'.. t..t .- emony "; the Kg@te-, ... sas ;he de4sn of her. les ~e9t. The usace> of pelite sooie'A expected h.m 10 eAhib.l this r.a, | hllal respect. ha, ], ~en, esa;rs, the sfa.R 10 biIb5cv n paolo- l aen he dTed his fountains cf conuoiia5le grief and saun- tered back 10 has Gesoiaic hearth and searched every nook and corner of inc ehimney-plaee. He vas ereedily ln,en, en securing f-~ more beads or francs :: which, we shall presently see. His in- sutsiiise ,oil Sas barren 0. results. so he at lengthagasel Il up and sat down ,o howl afresh. Then h. soliioqu,zcd an inte,ro- gation
 "Wha, am l going to do 10 pav for ny grub and rent. Parb.eau. Blast my hmbcrs and shi,er my gai,er baofeass , Ills pronunciation. would have YOU to comprehend. was mciliauously O. k.l What in the oratorieal thundera,ion oi mighty love am ever going 10 do with only twenty francs: Why. l, won't buy me receipt for SIX months dues in the Petite Chan pis lon Yacht club. Where could the venerable girl have slowed a~ay all Fa,gens which she was forever hoarding up and salting do~n."
 And Echo pleasantly replied Down :"
 "Aha" screamed lules. as he rushed 10 the cellar, she buried i, :"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-03
CHAPTER IT..

D:gg!ng 1y cand!e-hgh,. then you find nothing, IS v.Is labofous work. jules desis,ed on the .hird heat, and cursed his luck. without any though, of the danger of swearing out loud. after the new penal code of the state of New York had gone into operation. But the orphan xas mad, and moreover there were two waier-blis- ters on his righ, hand. His next oues- uon: -Has this spade.r Echo answered with hollow laugh. Then Jules called himself 1ogfen, and erep, back to- his dadoed gaue;. Here he performed the last sad writes, and by evening mail sen, adings Of his bereavement, to his mothers S country relations a, Bolhec- -No.nto,. in the lortly domain of the Prints of Calico.
 The Monetary question became weari- some, the more so as Jules had already expended one-half of his inheritance in the simple aeoessa-ies of life. ,o-wit: a package of cigarettes ard dwarf meer- schautn holder He afterward herce,y hungered for meat and drink. and ere san-aep ri his second day of loneliness, be only had seven francs remaining in h.s purse.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-03

5 - s4r .,...#zz s- f#.sz ,4fz < essz. ,t..z ae- -:szsz,5rv z N r rr#a P: st.fs s.sa rztNsls2 zas. | ea,.ea 4.
 ex .z..
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-03
THE AKNANsANN TsA>-ELElx

i e aes: as.s -ad eAtsas.s, oa.aa.ia >ae-a
 e's4eaee :. k .na.erse 7 .~fs;y
The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-03
The following ihe
 TRAVELER

THE AE&ANsAw IAs3NltR R ot raae kee. ole THE ARKANs Aw TRATrrE 'se fssas; have gAzei oaysals,s -A1 = ARKANSAM mb werdeai ro-y-H x. i'Aas become impossible ARKAN>AW TRAVt1FR eHos~ eo7 ed humorous journal AmeneaFas. THE ARKANSAw TRAVEL We Let nene tA- fraternity he 5e~.oast s~iist SAf4p Ztss ARKANSAW Ae flor
 
  ARKANsAw TRAVELLER published  Hvei
 It doubt be pss people know Of he refined
  TRAVELERN~ isk Tm9 We Mir We
  ARKAN>AW published and times it's eseeing - n1~4 Trtss< THE ARkANsAw TsAVELER published
  the rs~ssy Vru' E.~ r~  model for all O RKANsAw TRAVELLER edited
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-25
". G.. SPALDING ,

Physician and Surgeon and EXam1ng surgeon
for Pensions. Office over BANK OF H"'eA'o"" :"
building up stairs.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-25
Continued from last tOeek.)
How Watch Cases are Made.

1t is a fact not generally known that the
James Boss Gold Watch Cases really con-
tain more pure gold than many "solid" "
gold cases The demand for these watch
cases has led to the manufacture of a very
poor grade of solid gold watch cases
low in quality, and deficient in quantity.
These cases are made from 48 to 10 karats,
and 5 or karat case is often sold for Il
or IA karats. It is NOT economy to buy
watch case SO poor in quality that it will
soon lose its color, or one so soft that it will
lose Its shape and fail to shut tight, thus
letting in dust and damaging the works, or
one so thin that slight blow will break
the crystal, and perhaps the movement.
It IS economy to buy james Boss Gold
Watch Case, in which NONE of these things
ever occur. This watch case is not an erperi-
nent-it has been made nearly thirty gears.
HAzLEToN, PA, Oct. "a, 1882.
sold two James Boss Gold Watch Gases thirty
years ago, when they first out and they are in
good condition yet One Of them is carried by a
carpenter, Mr.. I. w Drake, OF HGZletOn, and only
shows the wear in one or two places; the other by
Mr.. Bowman, of Cunningham, Pa; and ccn pro
duce one or both Of these cases at any time.
SYLVESTER ENGLE Jeceier.
Send stamp keystone Watch Case Factories, Pha
deIphia handsome Illustrated Pamphlet showing how
James Boss and Keystone Watch Cases made.
ITO be Continually
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-25

last week. The census consists of chill
dren between the ages OF and 20. Num-
Der of males in village. 1876; females,
147; total, 2S2, Number Of children
taught in the village schools last winter,
254.
In few days the masons will have
campleted the brick laying on Haese and
Wedemeyer's new brick block. This
fine building makes Monroe Street look
considerable better, and when F, Grun-
ke's new block is finished, will give that
street decidedly metropolitan appear
ance.
A new apparatus for signaling trains
has been erected at the depot It's use
appears to be really great convenience
and improvement,
During the past two weeks McCracken
Bros. have been busily engaged in putting
new machinery into the elevator.
Several of the stone quarry hands de-
parted the first of the week for Wausau,
where new quarry has just been open
ed.
Last week G. Perry purchased at
Heart Prairie full blood Poland China
pig, for which he paid $25.-JownoJ.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-25

PRESIDENT ARTHUR AND THE SUCCESS
SION.-The statement that comes from
Washington to the effect that President
Arthur would be glad to be nominated
for his present Office next year is easily
credited. The further statements that
his desire for nomination proceeds from
a natural desire to occupy the office upon
a direct verdict of the people" and that
che has keenly felt some of the criticisms
upon him which were the result of COM
plications'' existing when ne succeeded
Garfield is also probable Indeed, this
state of things might easily have been
inferred by anybody. The man who
would not rather like to be nominated
and elected President fo1 the United
States, if it could be done in a tidy way,
probably does not live. The fact that
Mr.. Arthur occupies the Office now is
all the more reason why he wants it
again. The peculiar circumstances by
which he is surrounded naturally increase
the desire. Almost every man has spe-
cial, as well as general, reasons for want
ing to be President. But because a man
would like the Presidency is really no
I6dSOll oI dII iOI giving IL W nluls Lie
question is not what Mr.. Arthur wants,
but what do the people want However
kindly they may fell toward him for some
creditable acts. there is no reason to sup
pose they want him continued, and con-
siderable reason to suppose they do not
want any such thing.-Bqfia1o Er-
Press.
HAY FEvER.-For twenty-five years I
have been severely afflicted with hay
fever. While I was suffering intensely I
was induced, through Mr.. Tichenor's tes-
timonial to try Ely's Cream Balm. The
effect was marvellous. 1t enabled me to
perform my pastoral duties without the
slightest inconvenience. and I have es-
capped a return attack. l pronounce
Ely's Dream Balm cure for hay fever;
WIN. P CARR, Presbyterian Pastor,
Elizabeth, n. J. Not a liquid nor
snuff.
One and one alfbottles of Ely's Cream
Balm, entirely cured me of hay fever of
ten years standing. Have had no trace
of it for two years.-ALBERT A. PERRY,
Smithbo-o, N. Y.
I have used Ely's Cream Balm for hay
fever and experienced great relief. [
most cordially recommend it as the best
of all the many remedies have tried
T. B. JENKs, Lawyer, Grand Rapids,
Mich. Price 80 cents.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-25
PALMYRA.
Banner

Benjamin Smith and wife, of Cortland,
n. Y, have been visiting the family of
Joseph Smith, their brother.
Quite large quantity of wool was
brought into town on Saturday.
The Sanitarium Bus is now run regu-
larly to the trains.
EzThree of Ell. G. Atkins boys Of Mil
waukee, with three other boys from the
same city, have been camping and enjoy
ing fishing and other sports on the south
side of Spring Lake, and near the ice
house. They had R. R. car for tene-
ment for their convenience and without
doubt have enjoyed their recreations and
varied mode OF living.
Mineral water is being shipped from
the Sanitarium Springs, to different parts
of the country.-EnterpriSe.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-25
LAKE MILLS.

Saturday evening was the occasion Of
public installation in Odd Fellows
Hall. J. G, Sawyer, of Fort Atkinson,
was the installing officer. Several dele
gates from Fort Atkinson and Jefferson
were present. After the installation,
the lodge opened up their social room on
the first floor and served about ninety
guests and members with ice rceam
and cake. The occasion was a pleasant
one and is the beginning of frequent
social gatherings in their rooms.
The members of the Chantauqua Club
were entertained by Mrs A. r. Earl in
her elegant house on Monday evening.
The past week has been a good one
for picnics. Besides those of our visitors,
several private picnics have been held.
All successes.
G. ~. Branch and wife were driving
up Lake street on.SuDday evening about
dusk, when one of the horses stepped into
a rut and fell down thus throwing Mr..
Branch out of the buggy and Mrs Branch
on to the dash board injuring her so that
she was unable to go home until Sunday.
Monday evening Mr.. Joslin's summer
boarders gave party at Hassam's Hall.
1t was attended by a number of town
young folks, and an exceedingly pleas
ant time was experienced.
Lem Cook is the most cautious man in
town; be also has the credit of being very
long-headed; also, very thoug htful of his
family, tor he has cave into which he
and his family may flee when the ter
rible tornado seeketh who it may destroy.
Capt. Thomas O'Brien, of tae Steamer
Wilson reports good business with his
excellent boat Iivery.-Leader.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-25
CONCERNING RASCAIS..

"What do you think of the Democratic
campaign cry, Turn the rascals out?"
was the question addressed by one Re.
publican to another as they met at
lunch.
"That is about the size of it, an
swered his friend, with a smile, as he
handed him the following paragraph from
The Boston Herald:
ITO the cry, 'Turu the rascals out,
the reply will surely be made, Turn the
rascals out How would the Democrat
ic leaders enjoy a campaign on this fine?
The Democratic party is the party of
Swartwout and Tweed, Keep the ras.
Gals out The last Democratic cabinet
and the last Democratic collector at New
York stole more than all their successors
for nearly twenty years. Keep the ras-
calls out, The Democratic State of Ten
nessee has had three defaulting treasurers
in succession. Keep the rascals out
A full proportion of the votes cast in
Congress for the river and harbor jobs
have been Democratic. Keep the ras-
Gals out Eight of the jury that acquit-
ted the Starroute thieves were Democrats.
htep Iuc IdSCdlS Oul. Int D6llOCTdIlC
Mayor of Albany has just resigned to
prevent trial that would have exposed
the gross frauds by which Democrats
seated him. Keep the rascals out The
Union League CluD of Chicago has just
discovered incontestable proof that the
worst kind of ballot-box stufing was re-
sorted to re-eect the Democratic Mayor
Harrison, who has nulIifed law of the
Legislature to pay his debt to the rum
mics and criminals who supported him.
Keep the rascals out Elections in
more than half the Southern States have
been turned into farces, and the rights
of majorities openly trampled under
foot to insure Democratic ascendency
fOh, keep the rascals outr
"What's that?" said another Republic.
an who joined them. "Furn the ras-
calls out? Why, cert'nly. They were
turned out twenty-five years ago, when
they had knocked the bottom out of the
Treasury sent the navy to the ends of
the earth, and, could the last Democratic
Secretary of War have had his way,
would have sent the army to join it. The
rascals were very effectually turned out,
and they'll have to struggle hard to get
in again. ."-Harper'S Weekly.