Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1883-05-11

Hsfs5sss i: FsSi Nv Ffsss Esess gss Gear
Sergeant Signal Corps. U. S. A.
NEWS COMMENTS.
The telephone is connected with some of he
best families in the land. r.-s
Mrs. LANarRY speaks of Fred Gebhart as "a
mere boy whose devotion is remarkable"
Col. MCDONALD, of Coffee county, Ca, has
mel of infant ry.
NORTH PAo1F1o stock 5tA; preferred SsA
st. Paul, Minneapolis cad Manitoba, 1.25
Western Union, 83}s.
Our government may not be justly accused
of being fond of pastry yet it could not sc,y
we'll get along without its mint spies.
In recent sermon on the crueifxion u Mon
tana minister spoke touchingly OF "N zen they
lowered the deceased from the cross.'
TALMAaE says the remedy for, dynamite is
Peter Cooperism. just 80. But what, oh, what
is the remedy for Talmageism?.- Philadelpha a
/ News.
OKLAHOMA PAYNE has taken the lecture field
Our soldiers cannot be too severely censured for
not shooting him when they had him on the
frontier.
An exchange AYERS that an ovation is held in
hell every time Jay Gould gobbles railway.
According to this the country is full of he'll
ovated railways.
AN eastern correspondent asks the TRIBUNE:
SIS the Missouri river damned at Bismarck"
Only during low water, friend. The steamboat
men often dam it then.
TIE widow of the Ute chief Ouray recently
married an Indian named "Toomuchagut." A
sort of an aboriginal David Davis, probably, If
his name is not a misnomer.
Two Omaha women have gone to law to de-
termine which is the mother of two girls, now
IS and II years of age. This will be q hard
point for judge to determine.
THERE is now said to be one physician to
every thirteen familis in the United States.
This is quite suffciency Of strong pill-ers to
brace up tn, health of the land.
A Missouri girl takes the cake for modesty.
On visit to q Dakota friend recently she gave
a graphic recital of how, during the war, the
rebels "threw up bustworks GA her father $
farm"
GEORGE d. LAY is the foreman of the Grand
Forks hose company. This is all wrong. There
should be no D. Lay in anything connected with
an efficient fire departn. ent. D. Lays are dan.
gcrous.
IT is rutnored that Bel Butler and Lydia
Pinkham are real sweet on each other, md that
as soon as Ben reforms Ma >sachusetts the
young and gushing Lydia will undertake to
reform him.
president ARTHUR will be present at the
opening of the Brooklyn bridge. He will squat
down on one of the piers and yank fish out OF
their cold, damp beds until called upon to
speak his piece.
A BRIDAL couple were smothered at Pennsyl-
yania hotel by blowing out tn" "as, but they
should not be too strongly censured for That:
Bridal couples cannot be expected to think OF
everything at once.
The Chicago ru:nsel:er who permitted a con-
vivial burglar to leave his tools under the bar
for night, and il the morning found that his
safe had been opened, doubts that there IS
honor amepg thicvos.
. SENATOR TABOR, Of Colorado, and tie editor
of the Duluth Tribune are said to possess the
finest night Il, = u America. (There now,
George, keep CO., Why hide your light and
Immaculate linen under busheI?)
The name of japanese nobleman of note is
Kaikokonia jalaikeno -. persons desiring
the remaindcr Of this thrilling and interesting
name will find it in next Sundays edition OF the
B sma1ck TRIBUNE. For sale by all Lewsdealers
A YOUNG lady at Hamburg, Germany, was re-
Gently fined for playing the piano at an opex
window. When it comes to incorporating solid
wisdom into minor laws Germany is in the
neiehborhood of mile and al half ahead Of this
country.
A KENTUCKY politician was bitten by rattle
snake the other day Desiring to keep it for
. curiosity be dosed the reptile literally with
whisky pnd did all i, his power to save its life,
but his cffarts were unavailing. ltdied in great
agony after an hours terrible suffering.
TIE young men of Gaylord, Miun., held a
meeting recently and resolved to give q valua-
ble prize to the "the prettiest schoo! marin "
who shall attend the institute at that place this
week. The C. tic. men who award the prize
had better glue their hair on before selecting
9 the winning beauty.
The Duluth Tribune thinks that good dea
has been said Of late that is complimentary to
the queen of Asbantee, because she is quite do
nestle in her tastes, but here in America there
are millions of queens of shanty of whom
nothing but hsr things are said because thel1
tastes in doing up family washings are SO badly
off color.
TO. o. r.
From the Fargo papers we CLEAN report Of
the proceedings OF the territorial grand lodgt
and grand encampment of Odd Fellows at thai
Tho hua;ness sessions were of unusua