Morning journal and courier., 1883-03-07
A Lime Kiln Club Scientific Lecture. From the Detroit Free Pressl

The president stated that Professor Hold back Remington, the great colored Ohio sci enlist and philosopher, whose advent had been predicted at the last meeting, was now present in the ante-room and shivering with cold and shaking with impstience. He had been in the city for three days. during which time he had frozen his heels and discovered that the sun was l, 1000, 900 miles nearer the earth at this point than in Cleveland.
 The committee on reception then drew on their red mittens, parted their hair in the center and disappeared in search of the dis tinguished visitor. He was conducted to the platform formally introduced, and, as he moistened his bronchial tubes with a few swallows of hard cider, he led of:
 ''My frens, he began, "I has bin invited to spoke to you on de subjeck of science. has no doubt dat some of you has heard de word spoken, or seen 1t in print at som @ time; but how little de majority of you have power of science Science has had 8 hard struggle, but she am now top of de heap an kin reward her frens an forgive her enemies. How do we know dat de airth rsvolves on her axle-trees same as de wheels of a wagin Science has told us. How do we know how to cross de oshun? Science pints de way. How do we know dat de great desert of So- hary was once an oshun Science has dug down an foun clam shells and sharks jaw bones. Widout science we should be world widout overcoats in winter or sody water in summer We would fall from harvest apple trees an pick ourselves up widout knowin wheeler grabitashun or agitashun made us cum down instead of goin' up. We should see de moon, same as now, but some would say it was inhabited by monkeys, an odders would have an ideah dat it was 8 sp1endiferous To- ca1ity for persimmon grove De sun would rise an sot an warp de shingles on de roofs, but men would go round bluffin' fur bets dat she wasn't fifty miles away an was held in place by wires. D
 Here the orator paused to scratch his back and take another drink of cider and amid 8 stiffness almost solemn he continued:
 s'Science has done much, but it hasn't done huff It has given us de mariners compass, but we have no masheen shops whar' bow legged men kin drap in on deir way up home an git de crook strengthened while dey wait. It has giben Us steam, but we still crawl un- der de house to thaw out frozen water pipes, de same as de Roman Senators did ?, 900 y 'ars ago. It has giben grand suspension bridg es, but whar' am de gas-meter which registers in favor eb de consumer It has giben us de telegraf, but what man among you eber sot eyes on bootjack which wouldn't miss 8 cog list when you war pullin' on wet boot de hardest !? It has tunnelled frew noun tains, but we hab foun no better way ob mak- ing de baby swaller caster ile dan by holdin' it's nose, same as Eve held Gains and AbeIs in de beginnin'.
 ''My freus did not come here to expecto- rate you wid tiresome infatuation. Heed we'll what have said. Snug up to science. She will keep you cool in summer an prevent de shrinkin' of your winter hannels. It is @ deep subject for sesoarch am incompatibility, an trustin' det each one of you may abdicate de reflexun of de consequential, I will draw my brilliant climax to 8 career"