The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-12-19
HUMOROUS.

Remarkably. find board-Sawdust.
Superior court-Sparking a rich girl.
Whenyou see glass of water-Goblet,
Out of sight, out of mind-A blind lu-
natic.
Light housekeeping light
house.
The Great Indian Corn Cure-The Au-
gust sun.
Quick at figurcs-The dancing master.
Boston Bulletin.
The fisherman is the one who has to
scratch for living, at least you continu-
ally hear of his having bite. Statesman.
Under certain circumstances it makes
man feel mean to have people give him
wide berth, but somehow it never does
when travelling on a steamboat. .-BurliRg-
ton Free Press.
A Michigan youth, aged nineteen, had
a fiare-up with his girl, and out of re-
venge. married the latters aunt--''fat,
fair and forty" 1t is the first time aunty
fat has been utilized as cure for broken
heart. Peoria Transcript.
Ex Minister Schenck is made to say,
in Life, "Will you please state that Miss
Anderson is not the only dignified
American. /, too, in my day, refused to
see the Prince of Wales, although at the
time held three jacks"
There are ninety-six hundred musi-
cal bands of various kinds in the United
States, and still some people are surprised
when they open their morning papers and
,a,1 Of +bo tarrib1o c,iipoc oOrnraittn1
every day.--Nelchant Iraeeter.
A learned man has discovered that
birds lack the sense of smell. If this
learned man should pull off his coat andF
roll up his shirt sleeves he might in time
also discover that birds lack nose to
smell with.-PhiJadePhia call.
They have an extraordinary police
force in Troy. A man was attacked at
night, stunned, carried quarter of a
mile, and then robbed of his watch and
chain, money and diamond pin, hat,
clothes and shoes. The police recovered
the shoes.-Neio YOrb SIN.
The idea of congratulating man be-
cause he has reached his seventieth birth
day, as though that was something to be
Joyous about Now, if the man could
only reach his seventh birthday again
there'd be something to fetch the band
out for B0liHgton Ha'eheye
A philosopher asserts that one of the
best lessons of lifeis =" Learn to labor and
to. watt and that ''all that is good
takes time and comes only by slow
growth" "This is decidedly encourag-
ing, murmms the young man, as he con-
suits the almost invisible bristles on his
upper lip.-Stateman.
A German accosted broad-brmmed
specimen from Texas ON Wisconsin street
Sunday. "Who vos you, don't knowip
Looking the inquisitive German in the
face he replied; Il am cowboy.
"Dot's good" replied our German
friend "Shake. yos a bully boy, doo.'
They shook.-Pech's Sun.
Now comes the annual poultry feast,
When roosts do barren grow,
When every brand of featheraI beast
Doth in the oven go,
When man doth mounds of turkeys DqAe
And with gravy lather EN-,
And then doth of his stomach make
A sort of omnium gatherum.
-Yonkers Gasette.
Two San Francisco women are at law
about a wedding dress, each claiming il,
and the testimony is so mixed that the
Judge can't decide. Let him try Solo
mems scheme with the women and the
baby! Let him threaten to spill plate
of soup or dish of ice cream on the
dress; the woman who screams and calls
him " mean old thing will be the real
owner .-Det,0H Free Press.
II was to be married, you know, said
Blooms to his friend Clark, ''but G.
guess it's off, you know, for g-good."
"How is that?n asked Clark. This
way" replied Blooms. "She s-said she'd
marry me, you know, when all impedi-
ments were r-removed. Yes "Well,
| asked her last night if they were not
all-aw-r-removed, you know, and
s-she said no still s-stutter"-Ne,O
York. Commercial.
''Oh, yes, said the eldest Miss Culture
at table d'hote the other evening, Il
breakfasted with Mrs. Brainwait and we
enjoyed a delicious repast-eXcellent cof-
fee, superior bread and piscatorial globes
done admirably "What3n asked her
friend "Piscatonal globes, repeated
the Boston miss. 'And what under the
sun are theyln 81 belieye said Miss
Culture, drawing herself up stiiiy, ~
believe uncultured people call them fish
I'll