davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
Loss ana Gain .
CHAPTER II.

Maiden, Mass, Feb. /, 1880. QentIomen-
suffered with attacks OF sick headache"
Neuralgia, female trouble, for years in the
most terrible and excruciating manner.
No medicine or doctor could give me re-
lief or cure until Used Hop Bitters.
"The first bottle
Nearly cured me;"
The second made me as well and strong
as when child.
"And | have been SO TO this day."
Ny husband was an invalid for twenty
years with serious
"Kidney, liver aud urinary complaint,
Pronounced by Boston's best ply
sicians-
"Incurable %
Seven bottles of your bItters cured hin
and know OF the
Olives of eight persons"
In my neichborhood that have been saved
by your bitters,
And many more are using them will
great benefit.
"They almost
Do miracles? 2" --Brs. z. D. Slack,
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05

The Dress Goods supplies
have been replenished by re-
cent selections OF new stuffs
and designs, and the getting
in of such popular things you
bought out as could be dupli-
Gated. AS a selectable assort-
ment, it isn't likely to be a bit
better, the month out. Some
sorts will naturally be broken.
Many cannot possibly be re-
placed, even at a larger price,
such as the embroidered over
skirt patterns selling at about
a third of original value.
Bourette Cloth, ~ inches, q.
Dre-s lolhs 81 inches, shades, o..
Elegant Satesns for thS Cal CO Tea Party, HSfe
| JOHN WANAMAKER.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
,yoHw wAnanrAlrKws.

Notwithstanding the activity
stimulated at our Black Silk
counters by our remarkable
offerings, we judge, from the
surprise Of new cemers, that
there are many ladies in this
great city who've not yet
learned that we're selling
Lyons make at 60c. to $3.50,
and the best American makes
for less than the manufacturing
cost The French silks en-
brace the following new
weaves
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
RxrrnoAD ErxEs
DHILADELPHIA, VII Er q
kArr4auEs \ suSEsssFoS FHoISSI.a6ab' ASbp

PHILADELPHIA, VII Ei
RALTTMo6E RAiLR0kD.
NOVEMBER 18th, las1
Trains win leave Wilmington - follsws 20
Rhiladelphia and lntermedlste stAtions-e-t ,f.vA
Se.@ y m. A so 100, T.4A e.h6 y. m.
Fhila4elphia fezpressl-s.0o. AS, e.sh l.n4 AiA
e.00s. a 81 ie o7, Il. 81. AN, la e'i@
AL, ga b. M
New Yorka. 90, Ais, g. 90 Gs 7Oo io.O ii.bs q. N
'l2. 81 LA a&dg5.iE S.sT, 0.4Ap. N.
baltimore and intermediate stations-i.os,
lO.O6a. m. e.eop. m.
Baltimore and Boy Llne-7.oo p. m.
baltimore and Nashingt0n-i.s7. 4. a. e.oS lo.os
n. m. Ion. = IL, ga. 10. h.os .. m.
baltimore onl .OA a. IN. i2.27 and s.oop.m.
TrAins for Delaware Division leave for:
New CAstle--s.Oa s.ob ;. N. i.l& 400 400 and
G. I5 y. "a.
Harrington, DelmAr and way stations. s.OSs. IN.
and LIS y. m.
Wyoming and way stations, 6.2S p. m,
Express for Harrington. 40 p. m.
SUNDAY TRAIHs.
Philadelphia and lnterTnsdiAte statiensS. ioA. n.
l2.0o m. 6.D. 5.4). S.b, y. N.
philadelphia and New York-aoo. AS a. N. ali,
6.A a9 N.
Baltimore and wAahinssGn-za.t2 a. u. s.oA r.0'
q. N. HOP. N.
BAitimore--A.B a. m.
FOR further iufornAtl0n passengers are
fsFrsd 70 the ttuas tables poated ~ tha depot
AHTrAips marked shus; ~ arr iinited sxpredi
upon which extra fare IL charged.
J. n. WOOD. General Passenger Agt.
OHAs. X. PU9H. General manager.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
GOING SOUTH.

SaBouont Bif49ooro end E6AfsnR.l azS dma
A.. 2. McCArsLAsp. supt. mfS
BALTIMORE a. PHILADELPHIA n. Il.
~ GRANGE OF H0URa.
On and after NOV. I2th, issa trAinswili ran %
Leave wilmington s.o6, e.@ .. m, $50 p. m.
.. p. m, ~
Leave Landsnpsrs 4. % .. N; u. % D. m.
Arrvo as WilmthgtQn 500 Q. m; A1S D. m.
ID. OoNNELL. Superintendent.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05

SOME vANDAL mutilated the two hand
some stone II ns that adorn Calvert street
bridge, Baltimore, by twisting or their tails,
which was certainly a mighty mean way Of
expressing ones contempt for the British
Government. The people are much excited
over the affair, and the Mayor has offered a
reward for the detection of the rascal.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05

PHNNsrLvANIA's Legislature perpetrated
a salary grab, yesterday, by passing over
the Governors veto the bill allowing full
pay to the members for tho extra session,
although the sittings did not average more
than two week.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
IfYnu auRar

with Sick Headache, Constipation, Dizziness;
Sour Stomach or Bilious attacks, "Emory's
Little Cathartic Pills" will relieve you; as a
regulator Of the bowels they have no equal
very small, one to three dose--15 cents.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05

"If sold happiness we price," says the
poet Cotton, "within our breast this jewel
lies" but If We have cold there,the happi-
ness can only be secured by using DR.. Bulls
Cough Syrup.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05

THERE Is NOTHING particularly startling
in the Presidents message, and the salient
points of the document, which we print
elsewhere, speak for themselves.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
NEW YORK DIVISION.
TRAINS LEAVE BROAD STREET STATION
FOR NEW YORK.

FOR NEW YORK.
N1ps'': tg :4ospt Ga SSndsS Sssda;S,ys ~
SSp. aS m5 Ssss tr f4s sBdfs saRBd !. b p. n.:
and l2;Gl night. ,a,.as On SUNDAY aiS O;l va ~
and 40 ,. NJ and z. .ol night
For brooklyn. n; y, AL through trains con-
Annex" ansrding direct transfer 70 Fulton
street. avoiding double ferriAEe and journey
E1press SsT SoT se. N5i G Spring Lake Ocean Beach
Ocean Grove, Asoury Fark and Long Branch,
$50 ana II. 9. M. and 2.4A 400, s.aD. 100 ,.
FROM KKNsINaToN STATION FRONT AND
NORRIS STREETS.
EIpresA for New YORK. 6.6s and SO q, m. on
FROM MARKET STREET WHARF.
Express for New York, via Camden ana Trenton,
SO q. m. and !: P. m, on week-days.
VIA Toms River and Berkeley. IN =. M, 4 D.
ETpress for Toms River and intermediate
stations, Z. 3OA. m, and S. 20 D. M.
Tuckerton 7.0 q. IN. and 4o0p. m.
BELvIDERE DIVISION.
FROM BROAD STREET STATION.
hAston, Delaware Water Gap, scranton, BinR
hAmton and Oswego, S.00a. m, u. Oh and 9 90 b.
m. For Scranton and Water Cap only. 4.0
For Lambertville, sp. m.
Trains arrive daily, except tBundAy--From EastOn-
$50 q. IN. = 80, 7.4s and Q. IS y. m.
FROM KENsINGToN STATION, FRONT
AND NORRIS STREETS.
Daily, except Sunday-Express for Lsmbertville
Easton, Delaware Water 6ap, Scranton, Bling
hamtOn and Oswego, T.4o q. M, I2.01, $50 p. No
For scranton ans Water Gap oAly, .. aS D. m.
For Lambertvll1e, 4 10 p. m.
For Flemingt0n, 40 .. M; I2.Ol and ., 20 D. m.
sleeping-car tickets can be bad At Broad an,
Chestnut streets, Sas Chestnut street. and Broal
Street station.
The Union Transfer Company will call for an,
| check baggage from hotels and residences Tim
cards and full Information can be Obtained Al IN
| stations and At the following
| No. SSS Chestnut street,
3. K cor. Broad and Chestnut
TICKET oFTICEB;i NO. ll6 Market street
| No. 4Chelton ave. GerInant'p n
| mo. SA Federal 81. Camden
| CHARLES Z. PUGH, General Manager,
J. K. WOOD. General Passenger Agent.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
nallahle PlnOa q snv r.lnnna.

George I. Walker, plano parlors ,S3o Nortn
Sixth street, near Parrish, Philadelphia. NJ
connection with any plano ware rooms or
parties of similar name.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
CAMDEN AND ATLANTIC R.R
ON AND AETER JUNE 30 lass.
TRAINS WILL LEAVE AS FOLLOWS, /,


FOR ATLANTIC OITYi
From Vine Street Yerry--Express on week -dayA
az 40 & tSs 81 Tn ssd I'd SS sss's
From shackamaxon Street Ferry -Express on
weekdays, Q. - ., M, o.0o 400 and . 10 pm, On
Saturday onty, 1W p. m. On Sunday, 40 and
Accommodation Train will leave shove Ferries
on weekdays at 8. % m. and 4. 20 D. IN. and on
bunnAy et b.ooa. m. and 4.O pm.
Parior cars attached 70 all express trains.
Excursion train will leave the above Ferries
daily Ate.S0a. IN.
LOCAL TRAINS PROM PHILADELPHIA.
For Haddonneld from Vine and EhaekAmaxSn
breet Ferries, Too, e.oA 100 and II 90 .. m.
i2.O0 M. 2.ul 4. 90. e.00. O.5O y. m.
From Vine stree only, 6.4A 7.sn, OWh. m. From
bhackamaxon street only, S.aop. m.
Sunday trains leave both Ferries at a.ee Ind g. q
.. m, and t.0p. m.
From Pennsylvania Railroad Station, foot ol
Market street, 7.p q. m, 90, 6.0O and u 30 p.
M, weekdays. Sandaya. ESQ .. M, $50 y IN.
For Atco. from Vine and shAckAmAxon stree
?, m. sundayA, 400 q, M, 40 .. N. From
foot OF Market street. II. 30 ,. m.
| For Hammonton, from Vine and shackamAxons st
ferries 500 a. m, 4.@, $40, zoo .. m. sun
rGS fooe Of Ma &srtei s.Psei p m IsuHSay' nd only
For Lakeside. II.0o q. M, 400 p. m.
Fol MArltOn. Medford, Mt. Holly and interme
diAte stations, leave foot ofMArket street weel
| days, 7.O n. M, 70 and 500 D. m. Sundays
| s0 a. M, 30 y. m. From Vine and shacka
| mAxOn Ferries, 10. 90 q. M, week days.
street ferries, $50 .. m, 70. 90 M 4 % 500 D. m
Woodruff parlor cars on all express trains.
w. = sapsrinieDsenL sS;sah Pass. Agent
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
veleur Ottoma~, e-
HAs diComtfsse,
HuadfimlH,
Fallle FfAnoals,
Rhasarnes,
MerVeillieax.
Armuree,
ottsman soiisl

Many a holiday gift, emf
nently useful and acceptable,
will go from these counters,
while the supply holds out.
JOHN wANAMAKER.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05

A step in advance this tea-
son is our own making up OF
Books in sets. We can put
lasting work in the biLding
land ought the inner lite
thoughts of such men to be
trashily clothed?) and we can
get down a peg or two in the
prices. We needn't tell you
that we really do these two
things.
Sets OF 70 % volumes.
Prices, q TO elOl per set.
SM1ayerly, e volumes. l2tSss.
ThAekerAy, II volumes, es to 90.
Dickens, 10 four editions, i5Yolumes, At p 70
u accord ng 10 binding.
Schiller, 4YOlumea, e4.5).
Schiller, 8 volumes, o..
Goethe, volumes, Is.
GOe he, 10 volumes, p.
These are a few kinds taken
at random, to let you have
some idea of our prices.
Our list is increasing rapidly
OF subscriptions to leading
periodicals. Our friends don't
object to the saving in price,
and we're glad to serve them.
| JOHN wANAMAKER.
Hair Goods Department,
Mrs. c. Thompson in personal
attendance to-day. Chestnut
street, next north of Paris
Bonnet Rooms.
JOHN WANAMAKER.
ChestnuL Thirteen til and Market and
Clty-Hall square.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
GENERAL CONDITION POWDER

This may be used as the very best treat,
ment in Epizootic, ,Distemper, Swollen Glands
and should be administered especially after a
hard drive to prevent the animal from being
feverish. 1t is indispensable in colds and
coughs.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
baltimore AND OHIO RAILROAD.


LINE BETWEEN
THE EAST AND THE.wEsT. vIAywAsHINa-
TON.
DOUBLE TRACKi JANNY CoUPLKRi
STEEL RAILS
SCHEDULE TO TAKE EFFECT
SUNDAY, NOV. II lSs2.
LEAVE CAMDEN STREET STATION.
A. N. tChicago, Cincinnati, 81. Louis Fast Ex-
Gncinnati, 81. Louis and ChlcaEo.
40 tWAshington and way stAtIons, CvA.
MlDLANDI Southwest, Richmond, ivih
& M.sSsS,aSy cSss Gi.y and .Ss wsy sSD s.s.iSR:
lis AHNAP0Lfs, sfAUHToN AND WASH
iN4Lok Xxx. and stAtionsOn MetrOpoli-
TO tPiedmOn5 strAsburg, winchester, HAg-
eTstoWn, Frederick and way stAti0nA, via
Main stem. ION sunday 70 nlicott City
AZ" iWFERERs WEshnSa&aSS SlESBSS5T EES IT kOYls
ssAtnT!alay; hiehmond and he south, VI
elnnAti, Louisyiile and Chicago Junction.
Parlor Cars. Ohicago Junction 20 Chicago.
daily except Saturday.
s.iO twGShinEton and way sta ions. AnnApo.
1870 WSsafSSToN AND LAUREL III.
PRESS.
2.l5 Washington, Annapolis and way.
Lao .0n sunday Oaiy, for WAshisstOa and
Lao Eilcott City and way stations.
| 20 Washington and Way stAtions. (Rich.
meet Al Wsshinston with /, as. q. Co.. on
Monday, wednesday and Friday, and with
Potomac Steamb boat 90. on Tuesday, Thurs
Gay and Saturday for Old Point Comfort,
400 WASHINGTON EXPRESS. Stops a
| yeasup's Annapolis junction, Laurel an'
40 Winchester, HsFerstown, Frederick ant
way.
800 tWashington, Annapolis and way.
DO ffrederiek and way stations.
SO MArtnsburE and w6y stations.
S.3 washington and way stations.
| T.U fFlttsburg, Cleveland and Detroit Express
| B&Q. Palace Sleeping Cars TO PittsburR
| as tCHlCAGO, CINCINNATI, ST, IOUIB
WARRINGTON AND COLUMBIJS EX
| RkKSH. B. .. Palace Sleeping Cars b
| Cincinnati, st: Louie and Chicago, Lynch
s.16 tOn sunday only, for Mt. Airy and WAy.
ILLS NJ. Atty and way stations.
| lL.S0 Washtngt and way statiOns.
| Leave for Metropolitan Branch, Z. rs A. m IL
and 80 p. IN. For Rockville, 10 90 a. m.
All trains stop at Relay except 400 .. n.
LEAVE WAsHINGToN FOR RBALTIMORR;
800, te.so go tz.4, $40, 1900, 1000 a, m.
l2.i9 4iA 20 t2;sh ts.OO, 3.5O, IsO, IL 90 rs. Is
| t7.Q, 80, 70. 20 and II. - D. IN.
tDaily. tsundAy on-y. Other trains daily
s Baggage Sii caiied for and checked at hotels am
| WEST BALTIMORE STREET., N, w. Cor 'Cai
vert; ,CAi4MDEN STATION and 81 SOUR
". X. CLEMENTS, c.K, LoRn
Master OF transportation. Gen. Pass. Agent
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
DECEMBER SCHEME.

Atoof alln
WHOLE TICKETS. "a. HALP TIGkETP 81
n Tickets, $50; 65 Tickets, sloO.
kemit Money or Bank DrAft In Letter a. seao
y kxpress; Don't send By Registered Letter o5
Express, can hesent 1t our expenea j lAddrasa sH
orders 70 J.DOvGLAs. Loaisvills. XIV.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
BALTIMORE & POTOMAC RAILROAD.
FROM oALvERT STATION.
TARIMn HHnHfyn LIME u taaa

TAKING EFFECT JUNE II. Issa.
For Washington IN. SIS and e.1 D. m,
daily. except Sunday, and 40, 7.& e.a6 and
and IL. % q. m, and B. 90 and 7. 10 D. M, daily,
For Pope'B Creek Line, 100 q. m. and 4 10 D. M,
daily, except sunday,
For Annapolis, 1901. N, daily except Sunday,
and 5. 90 p. M, daily.
For Richmond and the South at 4 20 and a,A5 a,
v m. daily, and az ~ ?. m, daily e!csptsundAy.
80 an, daily, and Z. IS p. m, except sunday.
71op. M, Sunday only.
For q. and .. u. r., At a.1S and ass p. M,
For Norfolk via Potomac River steamers. Mon
day. Wednesday and Friday at II. s6 q. n.
from UNION STATION.
FOR wasshiHssOg, Z. "a SssS SCS TN 80 M.aO
day, 4.Sa CO, T.4S. sbo, LIN 4. m, $40 and
For Vs. siidIGnd Road, at $50 q. m, daily, 4. o.
2. m, except Sunday. 7.2op. m, on sunday
ForG q o. Road. $50 .. M. daily, exeept sup-
day, 2.S p. M, uimitedl, B. 70 p. M, and eos
p. M, daily, except on sunday.
FROM PEHNSYLvANIA-AVE STATION
For Washington, SIS, 710, 7.6o, s6S and IL, Is a.
M I'D, 6.l6 7.B and 0. 10 p. m. On sunday.
at 6.6o, 7.5O, s.O6 and n.46 q. m, SIS and III
p. m.
Fer, Annapolis Z. 10 a. M, daily except Sunday;
b.lb p. M, daily.
LEAVE WASHINGTON IoR BALrIMoRE
At $40. 500, so and 10. % .. N, La, Al, l. a
an In $50 and 10. % 3, u. On Bundkys, III
go lo.sos, N. "a, 80 In 40 and i6. D p.
CHARS8a u. PUaHs General Manager.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
GREAT PENNSYLVANIA ROUTE.


DOUBLE TRACK-STEEL RAILS,
SPLENDID seen ERY, MAGNIFICENT
EQUIPMENT. NORTHERN CENTRAL RA IL
WAY.
TAXING KTYKCT MAY IL l8ea.-
Trains leave Baltimore city time, as follows:
Nail Train, daily except Sunday, for
the North and West. 30 Q. m,
Chicago and nmited Express, daily
Webl ...sss,.....s...,.lO.4b - q. m.
Fast Line, dsiY, West................10 10. IS O. m.
Harrisburg Passenger, daily except
Western Express, daily. y.,...,.........e e.45 D. m,
Mall Express West, daily y.,...,........1I.15 10 D. m
Parktown Accommodation, g. 20 8. % $50 and 10. 90
p. M, daily, except Sunday. Sunday only, go
Cockeysyiile ACCOMMODATION, go. II. 90 q. M,
2.3O, 500, 800, and 1l,O p. m. On Sunday
9.50a M, /. 90 amt 10 D, m.
For Hanover and Gettysburg, 7.30 Q. m.
For Green Spring Branch, $50 q. m, . and $50
p. m.
For tickets to all points East North and " est,
apply at Calvert station, at Northeast corner
baltimore and Calvert streetss and At Union
Station.
Baggage called for and checked at hotels and
residences orders left ct once, Northeast corr
ner Baltimore and Calvert streets.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05

kS-Every ticket holder his awn supervisor
can call out the number on his ticket and see the
corresponding number on the tag placed in lhe
wheel In his pre-ence. These drawings viii
Secur on the last Ihursday Of every montn,
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05

The above remedies are in use by tho
leading horsemen in the country, and as thew
are imple and safe any person may admin.
lister them to his horse and save large doc.
tors fee. They will do all they are ! recon-.
mended to if the directions are followed and
they are kept constantly on hand.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
FOR THRUSH.

By following the directions the lame
horse can be relieved in three days, ready
for use, and by attending to his feet twice a
week and giving him a dry stall he will never
be troubled again.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
WORM POWDER.

This is the only sure remedy ever used
for those annoying pests If the animal is so
troubled they will be expelled 10 very short
time after the first administration, leaving the
horse in excellent condition and the hair a
lively color.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
f O r SP AV IN

below the joint. A horse SPAWN can be re-
moved and the hair restored in six weeks.
A bog SPAWN can not be removed the only
relief to the animal is to give him high
heeled shoe. Wounds of every description
can be healed by these remedies.
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05

$4,000 tOx %G

1TH REGULAR MONTHLY DRAWING
= WILL TAKE place in the Masonic Han
Masonic Temple Building, In Louisville, KY.
Thursday, December 81, 1883.
ALAwFUL LOTTERY AND FAIR DRAW.
iNGs, chartered by the Legislature OF KY, and
twice DECLARED legal by the highest court In til,
of$ioe, go for the prompt payment Of all prizes
REvoLITIoN IN SINGLE NUMBER
NuIAI1a
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
FOR GREASE AND SCRATCHES.

This is now the only safe and sure remedy
in use. If the disease involves the entire leg
it will make perfect cure, and will remove
any skin disease on any part Of the body
The daily gazette., 1883-12-05
FOR FISTULA, SPRAINs,

Tender Cords, and a general Hiniment This
is the best liniment in the world, and is used
by Robert Bonner to-day in preference to
any other.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-02-18
Mystery of Missing Men.

One of the best men I ever knew
here-s man OF sixty-fve years, who
loved his home and family dearly,
and who had no reason for eccentric
ity-slipped away one afternoon,
went to Boston and then to Wash
ington, and for two years drove a Car
there, remaining away because be
thought bis wife would manage his
affairs better without him. He never
intended to return. but was seen by
chance, arrested as q lunatic, and
given his choice, TO be confined in an
asylum or to do his duty as a man.
He came back, and, after two happy
years ss home, died in bis wife's
arms. In another case remember,
. gentleman was supposed to haye
committed suicide by jumping from
q steamboat. His wife made no fuss,
but kept the matter quiet, because
she alone never gave up the idea that
his suicide Wss..s cham, and for three
years she hunted him down, and
finally restored him to HE home and
business. a third case OF which I
had personal knowledge was that OF q
dry goods merchant who was absent
twenty years, and who returned
wealthy, made himself known to his
wife, who had been married in the
meantime, sought oat ais SOD and
gave him $40, 900, and then vent his
way &c he had come, He said he had
left his home because be wanted 10;
had not married or cared for another
home, and liked tbs life of q wan.
derer much better than any domestic
ties. These instsuceses go to show
that the cases OF alleged disappear
ances may sometimes DO accounted
for without any necessity OF presup.
posing robbery and murder. -Phila
deLph:a Record.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-02-18
THF FUNNY FELLOWS.

Never ask an undertaken to rec
ommend you a good physician.
Patent medicines are now made
that will cure everything except
hams.
Oysters are not allowed to open
on Sunday in New York.
Now that damn is pronounced not
profane, ministers are adopting the
name "damnation' for donation"
parties.
The young woman who gave her
hand to a gentleman of ninety years,
says that dried fruit is much better
than it looks.
New style in hair: Barber
How will you have your hair cut,
sir?" Man in chair-"In silence"
Bridegroom's motto, very free
translation)-Venil Uidi!? Uiet!!!
I've been and gone!! and done IT'LL
A muff is described as thing
that holds girls hand and doesn't
squeeze it. This definition is al
most correct.
A New York divorce lawyers
advertisement reads: "Hymeneal
incompatibilities, as a speciality,
carefully adjusted. IT'S slavery to
detain the hand after the heart
hath fed
A Brooklyn lady caughta burglar
in her room and compelled him to
marry her. Since this terrible pun
ishment there has been a great
falling off in the number of robber-
les in Brooklyn.
A bad ending: "Well, William,
what's become of Roberto What
'aven't you card, sir?" ',No! Not
defunct, | hope?" "That's just ex-
actly what he as done, sir, and
walked off with hevery cent he
could lay his 'ands on"
A minister who was speaking
about heaven said: mo feeble
idiOm of earth can describe-or por-
tray the beauties of that place" He
was ready to scalp a reporter the
next day, who rendered the SEN
tence: mo feeble idiot of EARTH"
etc.
docs your Helen remind you of
Helen Of Troy ?" she asked sWeetly,
as the springs fattened under
pressure of 100 pounds. sNo, not
precisely; you remind me more of
Helen of Avoirdupois," was the
scaly reply.
In Westphalia, Germany, a list of
the notorious drunkards is published
by the police, and the dealers are
forbidden to sell them liquor. 1t
seems a little hard on the saloon
keepers to deprive them Of a Gus
toner just as soon as he is educated
up to pre- 6table basis.
An Oil City young man, who has
been specializing on the wrong side
OF the market, received a letter
from his sweetheart in Philadel-
phia, the other day, asking why he
did not write to her. He answered
on postal card "Am waiting for
the passage of the two cent postal
act"
A model Memphis husband was
called to the telephone to answer
his wife, who was inclined to think
he was hbbing when he said he was
going to the Office. Just as he called
out in his pleasantest tone. care
you there, nay dear?" Lightning
struck the wire and knocked him
across the room. AS he gathered
himself up he said, eyes, she's
there"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-02-18

LYDIA E. PINKHAH's Vegetable
Compound will at all times and I'M
der all circumstances, act in har-
mony with the laws that govern the
female system. Address Mrs. Lydia
E. Pinkham. 2S3 Western Avenue,
Lynn, Mass, for circular.