The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-12-08


. INDEPENDENTLY when th"rc is only
enough to satisfy the anpc,'' of ten.
What in u woman is called 'curiosi-
ty" in . man is grandj,uqn nly magni-
tiod into the 'sp rit q! iugn.tY.
Native oyst'c> ar" -. Ia now in
London for Il uoia. doa'n. and arc
poor at that price.
A Milwaukee, belle attending thea
ire in New YorI; Cry recently complain
ed in one of the scenes that The light
was too dim to see the acting properly.
Your little hands but hide a smile
is the latest sensational song. The
little hands" are supposed to be col
laring . Gin tizz.
Yorkel (to his son at II concert dur
ing the performances OF 4 dueD-''D'ye
see. Tom, now it's getting late they are
singing two at y time so rs to get done
sooner
Six months after marriage: "Weel,
wecl, Sandy. how dye like the little
leddy?" '.Ah, wccl. Alec, I'll nae deny
that she haze fine conversational
powers.
Smoking may be bad habit he
said, as he rode beside Il pretty Phila-
delphia girl. "but that habit of yours ia
perfectly killing The marriage took
place the next day.
A townsville Young man concluded
to sprinkle red pepper on the floor of a
dance hall lust for a joke. " The joke
was carried out--and SO was the young
man. The latter, however, was moi
carried out so quietly rs the former
A Galveston man, who has 4 mule
for sale, hearing that \ friend in Hous.
ton wanted to buy an animal of that
description, telegraphed him: "If you
are looking for No. mule don't for
get me.
A man who recently rented Il room
advertised to have running water look
ed il vain for the faucets. and finally
concluded that the running water must
be the water that ran through the roof
and disturbed his nightly rest.
a young lady in Kalamazoo declined
TO eat beef because she thought it was
cruel 10 kill the dear, delightful COWS.
She changed her mind when q wild Jer.
scy chcwed up her red parasol. -Ncw
YORK Journal.
The dcacons OF the New Hampshire
Legislature have amended the Wood
chuck law so that no bounty will be
paid for woodchuck killed on Sunday.
This will give the boys Sunday to 80
fishing.
Wont you try this glass; asked
her escort, handing her his lorgnet,".
Hastily covering the suSpicious-lookiu
object with her handkerchief, she plac
cd it to her lips, took u long pull ant
then handed it back in great disgust,
saying: Why, there ain't drop in it!
\ scientific journal explains why a
man can't fly" In n great many case:
it is because he is grabbed by the min.
ions of the law before he can escape
with the funds Of the bank. Bat there
are times, however, when he succeed,
in flying.
4 visionary local iinanc.cr, who had
a thousand WAYS to make fortune and
net single one TO make n living, Is
described BIZ a friend ~ n man 50 san.
guine that the mere getting hold of {
shoestring makes him think he is al
ready the owner OF q tannery. - WASH
iRg!oD Sunday Rcra'd.
"Halloaw calculated guardian tC
his pretty niece IS he entered the parlol
and saw her in the arms Of u swain wh.c
had just popped the question and seal
ed it with a-kiss, what the time o
day now?" Il should thinl it wa:
about half-past r. was the cool reply
of the blushing damsel; you see VT
are almost one.
Mike-.'It's the Irish that does al
the invinting in these days, sure.
Jonatnan-'Ir be darned! the Irisl
don't invent anything to speal
OF. Americans invent everything.
Mike-''Thiu perhaps yes can tell M
why the Irishman name, Pat. Is Away
next 10 tine date on all the new invint
ions. D,y. IN American name can yei
find an n,a N all ~ oil'-'