davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-03-23
Novels and Their Plots.

Admitting the general principle that
a novel should have plot, and be prop
erly wound up at the conclusion, we do
not see why few novels in genera
ton may not approach more closely the
actual life. in which all love affairs do
not result either in death or marriage.
1t is pretty obvious that Thackeray was
bored with the Necessity of construct
ing a plot; he calmly shows his read
ers how he had meant to hang Col. AL
lamont, and then let him off; and he is
obviously indifferent as to what be-
came OF them all" when his characters
have passed off the stage. As to the
winding up of his stories, Thackeray
knotted the threads anyhow, introduce
ing two concealed wills. with the great
eat assurance Tin Philip and "The
Newcombs~, and throwing in biga-
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-03-23

man, but what have you to offer in ex-
change for my daughters hand?"
"My own"
IL mean that my daughter has large
fortune; have you an equivalent?"
mo, sir; l cannot buy your daughter
with gold"
"Mr. Rodman, you are impertinent
i will not admit of such talk in my
daughters presence. cannot give my
consent to my daughters union with q
man without competency" Turning
to Ethel he said: "What does my
daughter say?"
IL love Mr.. Rodman, but whatever
you say will abide"
In his excitement Rodman, standing
by the mantel-piece, raised his arm and
accidentally struck costly vase upon
which was engraved beautiful angel
1t fell to the floor, shattered to a hun
dred pieces.
Ethel assisted him to gather up the
pieces, and as he leaned toward her he
hoarsely whispered, "A shattered idol. I"
Without another word the proud, sensi-
tive Mr.. Rodman bowed himself out,
but Ethel followed him to the door and
entreated him to speak with lingering.
loving glance. All she said was !:
Remember your promise"
Mighty indeed were the strokes Of
the iconoclast's hammer in the hands
of Rodman for the next two years.
Never again did he picture an ideal
woman. In all his dreams the picture
of q woman never appeared else than as
hag. He forgot his promise to Ethel,
who persuaded her father to relent be-
cause he liked the spirit of the young
man, and she had Mt last won his con-
sent. Then she sat down to wait for
her proud lovers coming. Patiently
she waited year Then, when she had
almost forgotten the idealist, they met
one summer morning mt the old retreat
where first she listened to the gentle
words of love.
She held out her hand, and he
grasped it.
"Tm glad to meet you, Mr.. Rodman
where have you been all these years?"
Looking for the Mad Torrent.
What would yoE do if you found
it?"
"Quench my thirst" Then he raised
her hand to his lips, but she gently
drew it away.
81 am one of your shattered idols"
"Then let me worship YOU"
Better find one that enjoys neglect,
at whose shrine no one kneels. There
comes my husband, Mr.. Rodman, will
you stay and meet him?"
"Your husband?" he sighed, partly
with sense at Of for relief from intense mt 1S
lesson which it taught him, that there
are impulses and influences in life for
which even proud nature must have
some reverence.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-03-23
Marrying Students.

Sometimes scquaintanceship is formed
between pupils which results in mar
riage, and such marriages as have been
the outcome of social intercourse here
have been, from what can learn, of q
particularly happy character. A num-
Der of the women have married profess
sors and are now pursuing post-grad-
uate courses. HE who educates o
woman, educates generation" Quite
q number of the male students take their
meals in Sage College, and the students
Of both sexes sit at the same tables. In
many instances the men and women are
brothers and sisters. cousins, or old
time acquaintance, and the protecting
influence Of these relationships can
readily be appreciated The best man.
ners prevail at the tables, and there Is
no installing the refining effect result
ing from the co-eating arrangements. =
Ithaca IN. ~ Cor. Philadelphia
Press.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-03-23

An ounce of nitrate of soda dissolved
IN four gallons of water is 50 d to be
quick and good stimulant for bulbs, to
be applied twice week after the pots
are filled with roots and the flower
spikes are fairly visible. A large hand
full of SCOT, or about pint, tied up in a
piece of old canvas and immersed in the
same quantity of water for day or two
will give you safe and excellent slim
uiant; also good and safe, is q quarter
OF pound of fresh cow-dung mixed in
large garden pot of water and used as
required. Any of these stimulants will
do good, rs the whole of them applied
alternately will benefit bulbs that need
more sustenanoe than the sell affords.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-03-23
Cheap Bliss.

Il have made one human being happy
to-day" said Fred Banks to Bob Belt,
an Austin lawyer.
did you send a barrel of flour to q
poor widow?" asked Bob.
NO; my means do not allow me to be
so extravagant, but told an applicant
for position in the Legislature that
knew he was going to get it."
We'll, that was one of those little
courtesies that casts ray of sunshine
into the troubled life of fellow trav-
eler in this vale of tears, and which
does not cost anything"
"The mischief it didn't cost any
thing! L borrowed two dollars from
him on the strength of Texas Sift-
mas.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-03-23

my when convenient. Moliere used to
be accused of the same Indifference.
These men knew life SO well that the
rules of their art were sometimes irk-
some to them. Still, an art has its
rules; the public of 5000 years ago
probably blamed Homrr for leaving the
"Iliad" at loose end with the burial of
Hector, the tanner of horses. A proper
conclusion of novel is demanded by
readers and by the laws of the game.
No one would go on reading novels I
all the characters were to be left adrift,
as Mr.. James sometimes leaves them,
and as Thackeray obviously would have
liked to leave them. Satur-
day RevielU.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-03-23

Daniel Webster was q man OF gener-
GUS impulses, which he freely INDUCED
in, no matter how costly the indulgence
might prove. The following anecdote,
which, as correspondent says, has
been heard by few, illustrates this char
acteristic of the great statesman.
Having fine carriage that needed re-
pairing, he sent it to shop near his
house. Wishing to supervise the work,
he frequently called at the carriage
makers to see that the repairs were
done as he wished, and sometimes made
suggestions to the workmen.
At one of these visits q little fellow
was giving the carriage its first coat OF
paint. Mr. Webster spoke to the boy
about his work, offering two or three
hints. But the bashful lad was so dis
concerted by the fact that the great
man was addressing him that he
dropped the pot of printing. The lead
colored mass ran over his clothes and
ruined them.
A prentice lad in those days received
no money and but scanty clothing. The
boys face showed his dismay at the
thought of wearing his distigured gar
ments.
Mr.. Webster, taking in the situation
at once, said to the boys employer,
Mr.. r., wish you would let this lad
come with me for few minutes" Then
addressing the boy, said:
Come, my boy, put on your cap and
follow me-"
The blushing lad followed the great
man to the shop of neighboring tail
or. Mr.. Brown, said Mr.. Webster to
the man of the shears" wish you to
measure this lad for suit of clothes.
Let the material be good, and get them
ready as soon as possible, and send the
bill to me. While you are about it, put
in cap and couple of shirts"
snow, my lad" said Mr. Webster,
turning to the astonished boy, run
back to your work. You will probably
meet me often and will know me. But
/ shall not remember you, as the years
will change your appearance. But
remember to speak to me when you
meet me. shall always be glad to see
YOU"
"From that day was an out-and-out
Webster man." adds the boy-now an
old man-whenever he tells the story.
The freckledfaced boy outgrew his
suit of clothes and became man of
noble physique and handsome features.
One day he was in the vicinity of Marsh
field, and, being dressed in his best
suit, thought he would call on Mr..
Webster.
Acting upon the impulse, he soon
found himself crossing the marshy lands
near the statesman's home. A roughly
dressed man was wading in shallow
pool. with gun on his shoulder.
"Hallo!" shouted the young man
"can you tell, sir, where can find Mr..
! Webster?"
"Wait minute and I'll come to you, "
was the reply.
AS the gunner drew near, the youth
saw that it was Mr.. Webster himself
1t was not, however, until he had told
the story of the new clothes that Mr..
Webster recognized in the Young man
the boy to whom he had been so gener-
Gus. Then, extending his hand, he
said:
well, sir, am heartily glad to see
you. Where have you been during all
these years? Come up to the house
and / will get off this rig and have a
chat with you"
The invitation was accepted, and
when, after long call, the youth left
Marshfield, he was q stronger friend OF
Daniel Webster than ever Youths
Companion.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-03-23
IN THE HURRY OF THIS TINE.
BIZ AUSTIN DoBsoN.

With slower pen men used 70 write;
or old. when letters" were polite,
In AnnG's OF I'm Georges days
They could afford TO turn phrase
Or trim Struggling theme Alright.
They knew not steam; electric light
Not yet had dazed their calner sight;
They meted ont both blame and praise
With slower pen.
Too swiftly now the hours take fiighti
What's read at morn IL dead at night.
Scant space have we for Arts delays,
Whose breathless thought 40 briefly s@y.
We may not work.-ah. would we might
With slower zen.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29
Advice to an Aspiring Authoress

No. my dear If you are good look
ing, and possessed of private fortune
of 100000 in your own right, don't you
go and get married if you want to sue
coed as an author. If you can only per-
suade the editorial fraternity that you
have the above mentioned points in your
favor you've no idea what high opin-
ion they will form of your manuscripts.
They will accept anything you can
write, and will correspond with you in
the most friendly way. But just as sure
as you get married they will lose all in
terest in you, and will even decline with
thanks the pretty little sonnets which
you will indite to ''Our Home" and "My
Baby" and the - No, Angelina.
don't you do it. hats our advice; but
if you are really bent upon marriage,
and your intentions are strictly honor
able, why we might put you in the way
of hearing something to your advantage.
Anyhow, suppose you send US your full
name and address. We might hear of
something that would suit you, you
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29
Clothing of Mem and Women.

The funny people of the newspapers
are making merry over. some returns of
the census, which show that there are
in the United States 5000 establish
ments for the manufacture of men,
clothing, the annual product being
valued at $500, 900, 900, and that there
are only 600 manufacturers of women
clothing, the products of whose works
are valued at only $50, 900. 900, annually.
This is but another example of the de-
lusiye manner in which the census sta
tistics are being put before the public.
1t is not surprising that newspaper
writers are making fun Of them. The
explanations that should go with the
census figures are these: First, that a
large proportion of the women of the
United States make their own garments,
and, therefore, have no need for ''estab-
lishments" to make them; second. an
other large proportion have their gar
ments made by needle women and
dressmakers in small way, and these
do not count as establishments. Phil
ddelphiG Ledger.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29

Take young man, tall young man,
with small hat, long face, a lengthy
neck, short body, a pair of long and
slim legs, with arms to match, and
both arms and legs largest at the ex-
tremities, put him in Seymour coat,
encase his legs in eelskin pantaloons,
with sufficient bow in the legs to give
passing glimpses between them of the
mashed and astonished world that lies
ahead of him az he walks; cram his
flat feet into pointed shoes; tie an eye
glass to his lapel; give him a delicate
mustache and cane to play with-and
if there be grander sight under the
canopy of heaven, we haven't time to
think it up. Perhaps monkey with
tin tail comes nearest to the phenome-
non.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29
WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT 1T.

Mess. Robinson d Hinrichs:-We take
this means of attesting our high opinion
of Hinrichs' american Corn Cure. Our
opinion of its value in removing Co77as
and Warts is based on the fact that we
have used it and have found that it will
do just what you claim for it. As cure
for Cor7ls and Warts it is deserving OF
the highest praise, and we take pleasure
in recommending it to all who are atfiict.
ed, knowing that it will effect cure in
every instance.
Yours respectfully,
H. D. SMALLEY, Justice of the Peace.
HUGH MORRISON, Git Marshal.
r. ID SMART, County Judge.
G. n. SCHMIDT, Editor Nord Westen.
FRED. HEINEMAN, City Clerk.
G. s. CANRIGHT. HENRY BURCHERDT.
A. d. SMITH. Fl. KLINGHoLZ, oil.
E. BRANDEIs ROYAL SNIFFIN.
JOHN PITz. FRANK 4. MILLER.
J. p. REINDL. VIM. RUNGE.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29
A BARBER ON VARIOUS MATTERS.
ToTHE FIRST CUSTOMER: TOPIC, CRISIS IN

TO THE FIRST CUSTOMER: TOPIC, CRISIS IN
FRANCE.
81 subbose holdings could more sur
brising peen to a Unided Shades boli-
dician as der fact vot Campetta tied
boor man. Dem dink he could not peen
a druly crate batriot. By Chiminy
Hooky! dink of tiff he vos in America
und had gondrol of dis gundry; und der
beeble should dink he vos a lee6le-
Chorge-V ashingdon-on-veels, like dem
did in France! He wood hat peen rich
like son of gun NIT railroad shares
und boodiful houses und, in Mexico,
mines-und MAYBE he wood some coal
elf away py der boor. You speak of der
scandal apowd him? Dot vOs nodings
of a mans character.
SECOND CUSTOMER: TOPIC, SHIRT COL
LARS.
"Vell, Mr.. Beders, shall l shafe your
neck, or will you choost hair cut hat?
If you want dot COLLAR shafed, more bed
her you led Chinee parber do 'em NIT
vashpoard und soap. If you your
neck want shafed, blease go ovid in der
sdreet we're dere is blendy room, und
dock dot COLLAR off. You can pring it
pack arount your waist like a Sevend
Retchimend vaistpand. A parber tond
want to CLIMB ofer such dings, like a
def NIT garden fence, to get at a
chendleman's neck. Wy do beople such
a collar wear, alretty? Der man vich
has got in der world der biggest COLLAR
has got only position in der Assembly"
THIRD CUSTOMER: TOPIC, INFIDELITY.
"Haf 1 read dat ardickle in der
Dablet YOU gate me aloud infidelity?
Oh. yah! Vot dink of 'em? Veil, dot
vos a grade biddy. / read him SHOW
und careful, und vas feeling gwide
elevated und relitchous, ven right away
py der potion of der ardickle vos a
leedle dings vich sayt how some batent
meticine would make soft und Glossy
hair ovid of paid head crow in dwo
weeks Such fearful lie like dot should
not peen printed on dop of der potion
of a relitchous ardickle. Id shboils der
previous arkument.
TO THE REPORTER WHO COMPLAINS OF A
BAD CIGAR.
sob, Wy does not somepoddy effer gift
anypoddy goot cigar? Can it pc dot
der smokers to der cigar man always
say: 'Blease gift to me two for quar-
der cigars for myselluf, and two for Won
cent to gift my vrends away? A goot
cigar can make man to his vife's NUT
ter sbeak politely; but such cigar vot
your vrend gifts you is more vorser as a
bimble on your nose.
$50 hellup me gracious, dot monkey
parber Ply der negst shair says dot vos
der only kind you can in der olt kuntry
get. He says there vos, in Preslau, a
factory of EN- purned down. Der house
vent up NIT fire, der big peams und der
walls und der boxes all peen consumed,
but der cigar peen found as natural as
life. Dem would not purn. "-Ne,o York
San.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29
An Eccentric New Hsmnsb;re Man.


MIR. Thomas Chadwick died in Farm
ington, n. II. He was a stone-cutter hy
trade, aged 60. He was q very eccen-
trio man, as his requests will show.
During his life he made coffin of gran
lite and requested he should be buried in
it, and that he should be carried through
the streets of Pennington with his coffin
end up. preceded by the Odd Fellows
(of which lodge he was member) and
a brass band. He requested that he
should be buried in Great Falls, and
that the friends and mourners should
after the funeral have good dinner at
a hotel, and that no one should mourn
for him. These requests were carried
out and about seventy sat down to the
dinner.
Shortly before his death his son went
up to see him, when the old gentleman
accosted him with:
''Well, what are you here for-to see
what you will get?'
The boy said: "Well, to tell you the
truth, yes.''
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29
The Original Tramp New England Insti-
tuition,

There is good evidence to believe that
the original tramp came from the town
of New Marlboro. His name was Jake
Clark. He was young man at the
time of his exploits, and began to dis
himself about the year 1880.
He was bachelor. and lived part of
the time with his widowed mother.
With many things wanting that go to
make up a well-constituted man, Jake,
nevertheless, had elements of shrewd-
ness that might have made him great
man if he had possessed industry, dignity
and self-respect, and had not been a
slave to the habit of drinking New Eng
land rum. apple-jack and old cider.
He planted himself squarely on this
ethical platform: 1t is just as well TO
tell a lie as to tell the truth, if the lie
has the semblance of truth. And he was
heard to say that man was
ga blank fool for telling lie unless it
had about it great degree of apparent
truth. - Jake wouldn't work. He was
constitutionally disposed to be man of
leisure-not elegant, but happy; and
his great scheme was to travel from
town to town and get his living by his
wits.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29

The Chinese brass band played from
midnight Tuesday till o'clock yester-
day afternoon. The music was uninter-
rupted and some of the inhabitants of
the neighborhood hastily packed their
carpet-bags and moved temporarily
away. A young Chinese instrumentalist
in green jacket played the cymbals.
They were about twelve feet in circum
ference, and he leaned to one side as he
balanced them over his right shoulder.
Anon he held them at arms length
apart and brought them together with
the noise of a dynamite explosion; a
Celestial with a short pigtail beat the
brass drum, which was the size and
shape of beer keg and stood on end.
A brass saucepan suspended from a
mantelpiece was thumped in lively
manner by nimble Celestial. When
the saucepan, the brass beer-keg and
the exaggerated cymbals were c1ashed
together in one harmonious whole, it
sounded as though dozen Cars pal
sces had been suddenly fired into space
by tons Of dynamite.
The Celestials sitting in the room bent
forward and listened as intently as if it
were an angel chorus. One old man
dissolved in tears, took out his handker-
chief and said to the reporter in English:
cit is pathetic; very pathetic"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29
A HINT TO LITTGANTS.

"How did you come out of that law
suit you had with John Pendry, before
Justice Solomon, about horse?" asked
Bradford Curtis of Warren Railway.
81 won it. l wrote note to Justice
Solomon, telling him that, if he would
decide in my favor, would pay him
ten dollars, and he did decide in my
favor"
You can't make me believe but that
Solomon is an upright judge, and if you
wrote him letter offering him money,
be would have decided against you, and
in favor of the other fellow"
Eyes, expect that is what he would
have done if I had not been careful to
sign the other fellows name to the let
ter offering the bride. You haven't got
much more sense than the justice HIM
SELF
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29
NO EXTRA CHARGE

A very loudly dressed female, very
much painted up, of the class that is
always very numerous in Austin when
the Legislature is in session, put in her
appearance at the Photographic arena
OF q local artist She was accompanied
by young puppy, genuine one, how
ever, with four legs. She stated she
wanted a picture of the dog, and was
told it would cost two dollars.
How much will you charge extra if
l am taken on the pictureP" she asked.
There will be no extra charge, what
ever. l don't charge any more for one
thanI do for both Of you"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29
NEVER GIVE UP.

If you are suffering with low and de-
pressed spirits, loss of appetite, general
debility. disordered blood, weak consti-
tuition, headache, or any disease of bill
lious nature, by all means procure bot
lie of Electric Bitters. You will be sur
prised to see the rapid Improvement that
will follow; you will be inspired with new
life; strength and activity win return;
pain and misery win cease, and hence
forth ron will rejoice in the praise OF
Electric Bitters Sold at so cents bot.
re BY Robinson g. Hiuxichs. 8
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29
RITCKLEN'S ARNICA SALvE

The best salve ia the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever
sores, letter, chapped hands, chilblains,
corns, and all skin eruptions, and posi-
lively cures piles. II is guaranteed to
give perfect satisfaction or money re-
funded. Price Csc per box. For sale
by Robinson & Hinrichs. 16mar83
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29
s.SADi',

Chow do you like my new and cozy
little dining-room? asked the Widow
Flapjack of one of her favorite boarders,
member of the Legislature.
cts very SMALL" replied the soloI,
looking around, ''but perceive that
the proportions are as well preserved as
in any boarding house in Austin.
81 don't quite understand you, SIR"
replied the widow with great dignity.
81 mean the smallness of the dining
room corresponds exactly to the small
amount of grub we boarders get for our
money"
thine and again have l helped you
to second piece of pie, when the other
boarders only get one, and this is the
thanks get for it." said the widow in
An agonized voice, bursting into several
tears, and sobbing convulsively, as she
buried her face in her handkerchief
1erGs SiJtingS.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29
TEXAN ODDITIES.
SUNDAY SCHOOL ITEM.

''Now, johnny said an Austin
school teacher, "what happened after
the angel with the fiery sword drove
Adam and Eve out of the Garden of
Edenp''
''They had to eat bread to make them
sweat"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29

A Potter County, Penn, man was re-
Gently tried for keeping twenty dogs.
Though Congressman-at-Large Elliott
defended him, he was ordered to get rid
of his dogs. The client departed, saying
to Mr.. Elliott, Il don't think you threw
yourself much or the jury wouldn't have
convicted me -
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29
HOW TO SHORTEN LIFE

The receipt is simple. You have only
to take a violent cold, and neglect it
Abernethy, the great English surgeon,
asked lady who told him she only had
a cough: "What would you have? The
Plague?" Beware of "only coughs p
The worst cases can, however, be cured
by DIR. VIM HALLS BALsAM for the
LUNGS. In Whooping Cough and Group
it Immediately allays irritation, and is
sure to prevent fatal termination of the
disease. Sold by all druggists and deal.
ers in medicine.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29

A man at Sioux City has secured q
verdict of 81, 900 damages against man
who called him a Miss Nancy
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1883-03-29

A $4,000 photograph, the finest
one ever made, was lost on the wrecked
Cimbria.