Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1883-01-16
ais PA blsnrUrrD
The Rad Boy Makes an Effort TO
Cure the Old Gent Of Drinking.
Peek.s Sun.

1rluklug again ike q nsn, says tue
grocery man 70 the bad boy, as the
youth came in the grocery aud took a
handful Of dried apples. The boy ate
= dried apple and then made up a ter.
lace, and the grocery man asked
him what be was trying to- 10 with his
face. The boy caught his breath and
then said:
Say, don't you know any better
than to keep dried apples where
q boy can get hold of them when he
has got the mumpsY You will kill
some boy yet By such dun careless
ness. l thought these were sweet
dried apples, but they are sour as q
boarding house keeper, and theymake
tired. Didn't you ever have the
mumps2 Gosh, but don't it hurt,
though? You have got to be darn
careful when you have got the mumps,
and not 20 out bob shedding. OF skat-
ing, or you will have your neck swell
up biggern a milk pail. Pa says be
had the mumps once when he was q
boy and it broke him All up"
"Well, never mind the mumps,
how about your pa spreeing it Try
one OF those pickles in the jar there,
won't you | always like to have a
boy enjoy himself when he comes to
see me, said the grocery man, wink
ing to a man who was filing an old
fashioned tin box with tobacco out Of
the pail. who winked back as much at
to say "if that boy eats a pickle on top
Of them humps we will have q circus,
sure"
You can't play no pickle on me,
not when | have the humps. Ma
passed the pickles to me this morning
and | took one m0athful, and
like to had the lockiaw. But ma
didn't do it on purpose, | guess. She
never had any mumps and didn't
know now discouraging a pickle is.
Darn ii | didn't feel as though | had
been struck in the but OF the ear with
a brick. But about pa. He.has ben
| fuller'n q go lse ever siace New Years
day. | think it's wrong for women
to tempt feeble minded persons
with liquor Oh New Years Now
me and my chum, we can take q drink
and then let it alons. We have got
brain, and know when we have got
enough, but pa, when he gets to going
don't ever stop until be gets SO sick
that he can't keep his stummick inside
Of hisseli. IL is getting so they look
to me to brace pa every time he gets
on a tear, and | guess | fixed him this
time so he will never touch liquor
again. l scared him so bis bald head
turned gray in a single night"
What, under heavens, have you
done to him now says the grocery
man, in establishment. II hope you
haven't done anything you will regret
in after years"
Regret nothing" said the boy, as
he turned the lid Of the cheese box
back and took the knife and sliced of
q piece Of cheese, and took q few
crackers out Of a barrel, aud sat down
on a soap box by the stove. you see
ma was annoyed to death with pa. lie
would come home full, when she had
company, and lay down on the sois
aud snore, aud he would smell
like a distillery. 1t hurt me to sec
ma cry. and | told her | weuld
break pa Of drinking if she would lei
me, anG the said if | would promise
not to hurt pa to 90 ahead, and
promised not to. Then | got my chun
and another boy, quite a big boy, Il
help, aud pa is all right. We wen
down to the place where they sell arm
and legs, to folks who have served il
the army, or a saw mill, or a thresh
ing machine, and lost theis limbs, auC
we borrowed some arms and legs, anC
fixed up a dissecting room. We 6xeC
a long table in the basement, BIZ
enough to lay pa out Oh, you know
and thenwe got false whiskers an(
mustaches, and when pa came in til,
house drunk and laid down on thu
sofa, and got to sleep we took him ant
laid him out on the table, and tool
some trunk straps, and a sircingle ant
strapped him down to the table. H
slept along all through it, aud we hat
another table with the arms and leg
on, aud ne rolled up our sleeves, anC
smoked pipes, just like | read tina
medical students do when they cut u
a man. Well, you'd a dide to see p
, look at us when he woke up. | say
him open his eyes, ant
then we began to talk abou
. cutting up dead men. We pu
hickory nuts in our mouths so OuI
: voices would sound different, so b,
wouldn't know US, and | was tellinI
: the other boys about what a time W
! had cutting up the last man W
! bought. | said he was awful tough
I aud when we had got his legs of an,
= had taken out his brain, his friend
come 10 the dissectlng room an
! claimed the body, and we had to Civ
! il up, but | saved the legs | locke,
! at pa on the table and he began /
J turn pale, and he squirmed around t
! get up, bat found be was fast. | bal
: pulled bis shirt up under his arms
J while he was asleep, and as he begal
Z TO move | took an %iciele, and in tn
dim light Of the candles, that wer
sitting on the table 10 beer bottles,
drew the iciole across pas stummick
. and | said to my chum, Doc, | CUES
we better cut open this old duffer an
see il he died from Inflammation O
: the stummick, from hard drinking, a
: the Coroner said be did Pa shud
dered all over when he felt the icicl
u going Over his bare stummick, and h
said, For Gods sake, gentleman
, what does this mean. l am not dead.
E The other boys looked at pa in aston
: ishment, and | said, Well, we bough
D you for dead, and the Coroner
e jury said you were dead, aud by th
D eternal we amt going to be foolel
out Of a corpse when we buy one, ar
we Doc? Chum said not II he knowel
I hisself, and the other students said
'0f course he is dead. BE thinks he !
alive, but he died day before yesterday
e ffell dead on the street, and his folk
said he had been a nuisance and the
q wouldn't claim the corpse, and W
q bought it at the mougue. Then | drel
t the icicle GRO him again, and | said
a l don't know about his,doctor. | fin
that blood follows the scalpel as / Gu
I through cutiele. Hand me the bloc
] sponge, please Pa began to wiggl
s around, and we looked at him, and ID