National Republican., 1883-05-05

Lay dead milk. gong and +. X. Ward.
He glanced around with anxious mood,
But did not find single dude.
THE Arabs get sick when they hear man
whisting Most Of the Arabs in the United States
are in hospital Journal ~
THE New Orleans Picdwmc has discovered
that the strawberry box is n fraud from the
base up. Its bottom docs net begin soon enough.
MAN has invented chair that can be
adjusted 20 800 ,diherent positions A contem-
pordry says II was designed for boy to sit in
| when he goes TO church.
CHARLES A. DANA says that California has
n future. The San Francisco Post is glad to hear
this for Il didn't know but time might stop in its
| flight and leave California in the present
THREE thousand depositors in Connecticut
| savings banks have not made inquiries about
their money for twenty years past They are
probably out trying to get up crowd to go In and
identity them.-courfer.Jo Journal.
| WHEN young man starts out as q masher,
and meets with any sort of success, he generally
keeps on until he is baldheaded, and baldheaded
masher, occupying wall.hower position in a
theater, is most pitable sight-New Orleans Plea
yune.
"PA, whose funeral is that?" "Its Mr.
Trumnn's, my son; and an excellent man he
was" "Why didn't the papers have a long &C.
| count of him, par" 81 really don't know my
son." pa, perhaps he wasn't a gambler
Courier. Journal
The Harlem Times tells why a young man
was not oncored. 1t says "a gentleman of this
city recently sang at concert, ana there was not
sign Of applause when he left the stage. pa
per had been quietly circulated through the
audience saying Don't call him out II you do
ho % tnv 10 etn
| for tho extreme silence"
The convention of colored editors, which
is to meet in st. Louis in July, is going to consider
the question of delinquent subscribers" A
Chicago paper offers suggestion, based on per-
sonal experiment; The best way TO collect de-
inquent subscriptions is either to got the cash in
advance or chase the delinquent with howitzer
mounted on grip-car."
THERE were eight or ten we'll dressed gem
tlemen In the car, but none of them showed any
inclination to give her a seat After she had
waited reasonable time. she remarked with as.
perity: "Ef any you galoots air waltn for me to
squat in your laps you air fooled crowd, for
want you to understand am a lady from the
ground up" dread that she was not In earnest
about not sitting in their laps caused six Of the
gentlemen to leave the car.-Terds Slfin0s.
NICKEL lore-Five cent novels A
switchman-The old fashioned pedagogue. . The
frost has not yet injured the Jersey mosquito crop
....It is dull day in the country when there are
no tramps around. =. Has unlimited motion, but
| no o-a-headativeness-A rocking chair. A
waiter would make good circus tumbler because
| he's so easy TO tip.. Exclamation of disap.
pointed brio. Ia brac hunter-"A lacquer day r.
banana peel is tho dynamite of the fruit king
dom, and 1t always brings down Its victim. .Bos-
ton is indignant because the supply of beans for
the Indians will be furnished by two New Workers
...Since the telephone has come Into constant
use there has been remarkable increaxe OF hello
fever Commercial Advertiser.
WILLIAM CLooNAN, alias "Scar- Face
Donahue," shoemaker by trade, a thief, foot
pad, and burglar by profession, and member of
the notorious 1ith New York regiment during
the late war, died OF consumption in San Fran
cisco last week, aged 80 years. He followed
"burgliug nearly all the time after leav-
ing New York, where he had graduated un-
der "Red Leary" and his assistants He gained
most Of his notorlety as one Of the gang that
cut Toby Rosenthaps masterpiece, Elaine"
out of the frame in 1875 and hid It, in the hope of
getting big reward. They were all sentenced to
five years in the penitentiary but Scar Face" 4"
being something Of a politician, was pardoned at
the end of a year. Scarcely a year has passed
since then that he has not been convicted OF rob.
berry, sentenced and pardoned. He gained his
unenviablc soubriquctby reason OF horrible scar
| on the side Of his lace, which he said was made
by piece of shell.
GOING down the great Jackson route from
Grenada, Miss, regular old homespun native of
the state entered the sleeping car and paid for
berth, writes M. Quad in the Detroit Free Press He
had never been inside car ofthe kind. and every
thing astonshed him. When the porter came 10
make up the beds 1 saw that the native was
greatly perplexed, but as he made no direct appeal
1t wasn't my duty to post him. He was tho first
one TO make preparations for bed. He glanced
| anxiously around. pulled off one boot, and then
| took rest for FIVE minutes. When the other
boot came off he had solved the
problem. Pushing his boots under the berth III
started for the rear platform, and nothing was
heard from him for about ten minutes. Then he
put his head into the door and called out "All
you uns in thar look out, for I'm comingl" And
come he did. He had disrobed while standing
on the platform, made a bundle of coat vest, and
trousers, and as he shot into bed after run up
the aisle he gurged out: Old Mssssip' may be a
little slow, but sho aus gifts thar Just the same -
SOME wise, plain talk is coming from the
west which does our hearts good. A correspon-
dent handling the Indian question without gloves
says the reason for tie non-suppresson of the
Apaches is not the Interference Of the Interior
department, but simply and solely fear He says
these American Arabs are the finest fighters the
world ever saw. They campaign In badly broken
up country which is inaccessible to ordinary
troops. The correspondent gives some particulars
showing how the Apaches amuse themselves. A
band OF nifty were being pursued by FIVE times
their number Of Mexican troops The Apaches
made fight, and, retreatng again, divided into
five bands The pursuers did the same. In the
course of q few hours the Apaches all met on the
edge of precipice and annihllated each band of
pursuers as II arrived. A Mexican general who
has fought Indians for many years says 500
Apaches can hold their country against 5000
troops and have good time In the bargain, They
are well mounted, active, dead shots, as brave as
tigers, and. in the opinion Of the correspondent,
arc able to hold their own against any comers by
simple superiority.
FREUND's Daily sounds big Beware of tho
weak woman. There seems 10 be some sense in
what 1t says; Beware how you befrlend
her. Beware how you talk to her. Be-
ware Of intrusting her with the most
trivial secret. Such woman is a walking So
cial explosive when abroad She can scarcely
open her mouth without damaging somebody.
She does so unwittingly and without intent, and
Tor this is all the more dangerous. She will
"give you away" without herself knowing It,
She is boomerang. Loose her and she knocks
over her best friends. Beware how your sympa-
thy is attracted by her helplessness. It is the
helpless pretty, leaning clinging woman who gets
most men into trouble She is unsafe, because
she lacks entirely the highest sense OF honor and
personal responsibility. This is not her fault
These qualities are lacking entirely in her COM
position. Beiriend herby taking on yourself any
responsibility, and the next hour some insinuat-