davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic., 1883-03-27

A SPECIMEN of the inaccuracies Ito use
no harsher term) of the reports of the Star
Route trials prepared for the press is seen
in the report of Mr.. Torrey's testimony.
He is made to say that he could not de-
scribe the color of the books he kept for
Dorsey, as he was color blind. He swore
positively that there was no red-covered
book among those he kept for the ex-
Senator. Asked whether he was color
blind or not he said he was so far as tints
were concerned, but was not in regard to
the strong colors, as red, black, green, and
so on. We mention this simply to illustrate
the unfaimess of some reports of this trial
and the untruth of comments based thereon
The Evening critic., 1883-03-27
A Full Line
Stories OF Statesmen.

OF gold, bronze metal, silver, hard wood and
imitation mouldings for picture frames at W.
u. Veerhon's, No. GIG Seventh street.
The Evening critic., 1883-03-27
"AIderney Dairy Wagons.u

Fresh Alderney butter, churned every morn.
ing and delivered In X h ''Ward" prints, Doc.
per n. Also, cottage cheese, buttefmilk
and sweet milk, &c per at. Cream 15o, per pint |.
The Evening critic., 1883-03-27

ARMY OFFICERS at Washington are horriaed
at the thought that the President can and may
appoint to a vacancy In the Quartermasters
Department n man not educated at West
Point. and who is not plastered all over with
gold lace and brass buttons.-NeU orleans
States.
The States doesn't know what it is talk
ing Of. Its paragraph is rot. Army officers
whether educated at West Point or else
where are not apt to be snobs.
They have right to object to the Presi-
dents passing them over and going outside
Of the Army to find men to appoint, over
their heads, to responsible and honor
able commissions in one of the staff
corps. Human nature is human nature,
whether clothed in official or unofficial
garb, and experienced men in all the busi-
nesses of life regard as an insult and an in
jury their passing over in the interest Of
some inexperienced favorite of the powers
that be. We are aware that it is fashion
able among certain papers to sneer at the
Army, and we are aware that these sneers
are cowardly, for their objects cannot strike
back.
The Evening critic., 1883-03-27
NE Coz 10 Into the Papers Free.

NJ. Delf0rd's statement OF Belf-defense be.
fcKe Judge Wylie cost him IS q word. IL
would have been cheaper 10 have patronized
ne ssaspapeKB at 10 cts. q line.
The Evening critic., 1883-03-27
Sl.OO! Sl.OO! Sl.OO!

Another Job lot Ladies' Curacao Kid Baton
Boots, sizes ga TOT.
Odds and ends In Ladies' Fine Slippers. &C.,, GOc
and 75c. worth double.
Women's Plain Lasting Polish, jOc., sizes .. 8, 3k
and IA.
Foxed .Pl4ln Lasting Polish, same sizes, 75c.;
sold tor double.
Odds and ends In Children's Shoes, Button and
Laced, at half price to close out.
The best sl.25 and II so Pebble Goat and Kid
Button In the city, worth 50. And our 81 Misses
and Boys School Shoes can't be beat.
School Caps and Hats, 25c., i0c. and SOC.
Three Linen Collars, CSC; three pairs Linen Cuffs
60c,; six pairs, ~ And don't fail 70 see the $3.50
Boys Sailor Suit and our s3 Boys' Suit. Single
Pants 75c up Boys white shirts 25c. to Soc, and
will oier the best $40 Blue Flannel suit In town
for few days only.
The very best warranted Indigo, Sl2.
.@:.1 SEIBY'S,
1919 ana 1919 PennsyIvania Avenue.
The Evening critic., 1883-03-27

EAsTEz cAArs-J. Jay o0uld, 42i Ninth ct.
The Evening critic., 1883-03-27

"I would not be surprised" said a pretty
well posted gentleman, " If Ben Butter
worth, ex-member Of Congress, was offered
the Postmaster -Generalship."
why do you think so?" queried the
Critic.
Because he is young and competent and
The Evening critic., 1883-03-27
THE CRITIC ABROAD,

One day, near the end Of the last session
Of Congress, some one spit in Senator voor-
hees hat, which he had placed on the floor
by the side of his desk and between his
own and Senator Garland's. When the In
diana Senator discovered that some one
had been using his hat for cuspidor, it
made him very angry, and he exhibited his
feelings by talking rather louder than is
usual for a Senator who was not addressing
the Senate.
David Davis, who was presiding, noticing
the confusion near his right, asked some
one passing by what was agitating Noor-
hees, and thereby heard that some one had
spit in Voorhees, hat. Mr.. Davis, motion
ing Colonel Bright to his desk, said:
"See here, Colonel, it is your duty, as
Sergeant alarms, to help me preserve
order. Now, there is Senator Voorhees,
over there making a good deal of noise
20 to him and tell him that he is out of
order and that his loud talking is annoy
ing me very much, and ask him If he won't
please talk lower; also tell him that J an,
glad that some one sph in his hat"
The message was delivered almost in the
same language as uttered by Mr.. Davis, but
the answer that the Wabash statesman
directed to be returned never reached the
presiding officers ears
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31

TIE FRIENDS of woman suffrage,
in Oregon, are to begin their cam
paign in behalf of the amendment
to be submitted TO the vote of the
people, by a meeting to be held in
Portland, February Is. They prom
Use that the campaign shall be Wig
orously prosecuted.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31

AT Los ANGELES, Cal, a mys-
ferrous scandal has just come to
light. In that city, few days ago,
a physician took a newly-born in
FAINT to a man who keeps a little
store there, offering him $500 if he
would take the child, promising him
So, 900 additional for raising it. The
doctor added that there was even
more money in it, as the parties in
terested in keeping the matter a
secret were rich. From what can
be gathered the child is supposed to
be the offspring of the Illicit loves
of a young lady, rich and well-con-
nected, and a prominent gentleman.
The child is deformed, the nose be-
ing perfectly fattened against it's
face and its mouth unnaturally
small, being but a little larger than
a pea. A poor woman has been in
dueed by large sum of money to
take the child and raise it.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31

THE CHICAGO Times says that
some unfeeling wretch recently
alarmed the Washington govern
ment clerks by starting the silly
rumor that they were to be made to
work from s o'clock in the morning
till 5 in the afternoon. A little
investigation showed that the story
was untrue, and the clerks recovered
their usual cheerfulness on being
convinced that the present pro-
gramme of making believe work
from 9 to 8 was not to be disturbed.
Owing to the rule against smoking,
these hours are considered long
enough, and the lot of the Washing
ton clerk is admitted to be suf-
fciently hard.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31
rHs FRENCH CRISIS.

Every now and then, and almost
periodically, the French govern
meut gets into stew so peculiarly
Frenchy in its manner that the
event ceases to produce that effect
upon the outside world which the
internal Importance of the affair
perhaps entities it to. When the
President, Emperor, or whoever
the reigning power may happen to
be, gets into an unsOlvable diff
Guilty with his cabinet advisers, he
generally tells them, not in so many
words of course, that either he or
they must go; they have enough
sagacity to understand that he is
not going to undertake the mi
gratory feat, and that the state
of affairs thus presented involves
the surrender of their respective
positions in order that the chief
functionary may not collide with
less important branch of the gov
eminent for France is republic
only in nance; so, as a sop to Ger
berus, and also as a tribute of re-
spect to a galvanized Emperor, they
draw up their designations singly,
fold them neatly, then place them
together in a batch with a rubber
band around them, and hire cheap
boy to take them (the designations
to his majesty, or rather his excel
lency.S The latter is always in haste
to accept the Withdrawals reluc-
family; he is deeply moved,
ETC., but being a Frerchman he
cannot commit so reasonable an
act as to calmly contemplate the
continuous holding of Office for six
consecutive months by anybody; so
he requests NJ. De la Hurricane, or
some other equally Francois indi-
vidual, to put in sealed bid for a
new ministry-and the interval
pending the opening of the bid is
called a crisis. The land of the Ma
poleons is just now engaged in that
favorite pastime-that is, it is in
dulging in its periodical crisis. The
thing doesn't generally last long and
rarely hurts anybody--but it is a
crisis all the same.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31

THERE IS a rumor in Portland.
Oregon, to the effect that number
of Irish nationalist from all parts
of the country, with ex-Sheriff Des>
mond, of San Francisco, at their
head, have been holding secret
meetings, the main object of which
is to organize a flibustering party
to raid Victoria, B. c., capture the
arms and munitions there, and de
clare it a republic,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31

TIE CONTENTS of the HERALD
this morning are as follows;
1sr PAGE - Latest Telegrams-Con'
mercisl, etc.
ID Telegraphic News-Miseella'
Sd PIaE-TeIegraphic News-Misoel
isneous.
4TH PAeE-Editorials, etc.
5TF PACE --latest Telegrams-Miscel'
lsneous,
e4H PACE elgraphic News - The
French, etc.
7rE PAeE-Telegraphic News-Trans'
continental Traffic, ETC.
srE PAeE-The Game Bsgged - City
Council-Loesl Items
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31

The Humane Society of st. Louis
is interesting itself in the fasting
prophet" Wilson. Efforts were
made last week to induce him
to take food, and he was
threatened with force if he would
not submit peaceably; but he re-
NAMED obdurate. Wilson is tran
Gull, and reafirms his divine COM
mission to fast forty days. His
physical condition is surprisingly
good, considering the length of his
fast.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31
SALT LAKE DAILY HERALD.
"WEDNESDAY. JANUARY 81, 1888

THEDA1LY HERALD is published
Every morning, Mondays excepted, d. 81
Fsst Temple Street, near First South
SAT- Lake Cts, by the HERALD fR elSI
~ re AND UBLIsHIBe COMPANY. SUB
ecTirtion price, $40. SO per annum, p9S sc
zee included; parts of year at me
ss1,a Tste, To weekly subscribers
collection made by carriers, 26c' q week.
nuH sEMI-WEEKLY HERALD is
published every Wednesday and ssfar-
5a1 morning, at $3.50 q year; SIX
months, S1.75; postage included
nuu WEEKLY HERALDis published
s1erv Thurgdsy morning, at % a ye
SJ Ee months, S1.25, postage included
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31

THE CHINESE companies of San
Francisco, Cal, intend to test the
constitutionality of the ordinance
which prohibits the maintenance
of laundries within certain limits
and the performance of labor in
such places during certain hours.
The intent of the ordinance seems
TO be to hayass the Cinnamon.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31

AS \ pendant to the numerous
bills that the country viii have to
pay for ex-President Garfeld's i'll
ness comes that of William Crump
for S., 600 for services rendered as
steward at the White House. This
species of greed viii 60 far toward
creating a revulsiOn of the feeling
of sympathy and admiration that
was felt for the late Presidents for
titude under suffering. Every per-
son near the President seems to
think it necessary to charge a thou
sand per cent. more for his or her
services than would be the case
under ordinary circumstances. If
the House passes this bill, which
we hope it will not do without
pruning it down, it will excite much
surprise. Its a shame that Gar
fields illness should be used as a
money-jobbing scheme to enrich
the few who were with him during
that period.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31

THE STOMACH will always put up
with more poison than other parts
of the body. A Cincinnati man got
some beer froth into his sore finger
and had to haveEthe digit amputated'
He had put a barrel or more into
his stomach without damage.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31

ACCORDING TO the Washington
Star, the President recently told a
New England senator, "that while
he was anxious to have this Con-
gress pass a bill to revise the tariff,
he was fearful on account of the
Iateness of the session and the di-
versifed interests in the bill, that it
would fall" Being asked if he
would call an extra session of Con-
gress if the bill did fail, the Presi-
dent said: That is an emergency
I will not consider until it arises.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31

THE WORKS of Charles Dickens
do not lack for readers. It's stated
authoritatively that during the
twelve years that have passed since
the death of Dickens, no less than
4,23O,OOo volumes of his works have
been sold, ''Pickwick" and David
Copperfeld" being far in the van.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31

THE WHISKY and tobacco men
seem to think that Congress was
elected to legislate for them, and
thew are oblivious to other general
interests within the country.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31

HARVARD has started a veterin'
airy department, and on the pros
pectus is the seal of the college
with the Latin inscription, "Fol
Christ and the Church" Harvard
is doing a charitable work in trying
to tone up the moral character OF
the horse.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31

SHILOHS VITALIZFR Is what
you need for Constipation, Loss of
Appetite, Dizziness and all symp-
toms of Dyspepsia. Price 10c. and
75c. per bottle. Sold by z G. MI
Drug Store ~
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31
NOTICE,

THE SEVERAL DEPARTMENTS
/ of Zion's Cooperative Mercantile In
stitution will be closed all day Wednes.
day, the 31st instant, for semi-annusl
stock taking.
VIM. JENNINGS,
JANIS Superintendent.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-31

UMRs. MARY HAsKINs, of Dubois
County, Indiana, has obtained a
divorce from her husband after
forty years of married life, on the
ground of intolerable cruelty.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-08-17
A Parrot Perplexes the PLAYERS.

According to the Denver Tribune,
parrot lately distinguished itself at the
Opera House there, the manager of
which had borrowed it from a restau-
rant keeper. During the first act OF the
"Old Shipmates' the bird was quiet
enough; but as it had become accus-
toned TO It's novel surroundings, COM
menOod to display its accomplishments,
to the amusement of the audience and
the dismay of the actors. Lamb chops
or Dreaded veal?n screamed Poll, bring
inc forth loud "s-sh" 10 which the
bird responded with, shut up-you
make ME tiredr' Quit kissing the
cookm and volley of oaths An act
ress pushed the cage to the wings Of
the stage, to be sliced by the manager
and carried to the property-room, the
voice of the indignant parrot dying
away in the distance, until the slam
ming of the door shut it out altogether,
but not before the offender Poll had re-
venged its removal by nippng the cap
tor in the leg. A little later the man
ager thus addressed his treasurer: MIR
Morse, let it be understood once for
all, that hereafter no living wild beast
will be introduced on our stage
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-08-17
AMERICAN FABLES

A Wolf who had dispute with a Hyena
determined to destroy him, and therefore
went to the Lion for advice.
"Set raptor him." was the reply, "and
whenyou have caught him eat him.
The Wolf went away and laid snare
beside the path often traversed by his
enemy, but just as he was cacklng with
satisfaction he plunged into the trap him
self and was held fast. In this emergency
along came the Lion, who called out:
"By George but what's all this
"I'm fast in my own trap" humbly re-
piled the Wolf.
$50 | see. | came out here expecting to
help you eat the Hyena, but as the case now
stands shall help the Hyena to eat YOU
"But | set this trap by your advice,
protested the Wolf.
"True you did, and advised your enemy
to set one for you az well. Odds is the
difference to me whether cat Wolf OF
Hyena."
The lawyer gets his pay, no matter how
tho suit goes.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-08-17
An Anti Duelist,

There Is man in New Orleans who
makes good living as compromises
Of quarrels, He is sharp lawyer, with
aooncilatory temper and an oily tongue.
While other men are stirring up strife
he is turning away wralh-ior a con-
sideration. He made great deal of
money in the good old days, so fast re-
cedlng, when duel before breakfast
was as indispensable to the happiness
Of the Crescent City rs fish on Friday.
Hot with wine, two young bloods would
quarrel. The lie would pass, and then
n challenge, Now, you see things more
clearly through the cool gray morning
air than through the cigarette smoke of
cafe, and very often this clearness Of
vision comes while you look through
the quiyering blue atmosphere at the
sparkling stars of the midnight sky.
Hence it was that our friend the peace
maker was never out Of Il job. His title
was second usually, but his business
was to see that no necessity arose for
his services as such. One case is a good
sample A young society man had
called another society man a coward,
with the avowed purpose of making
him fight duel. OF course, both were
well branded when the insult was Civ
en-. A challenge passed at once; but by
the time it had been received Mr.. In
suffer had grown cool and cautious.
He asked Mr.. Compromise to act as his
second
Now said the latter, ''to come
to point at once, do you want to
ightP"
Between ourselves" responded the
| young man, II don't
"DO you want to 90 on the field at
all, asked the second; "because it will
cost you more TO get out Of going on
the field than to get out of the duel af-
ter you're once face to face
II don I want to go on the field at
all, said the principal land | don
care what il costs to keep Off
VERY well" said the second; NOV
sit down and write just such an accept.
ance as | tell you to write. y
"Acceptance?'
Eyes, certainly. Let me manage
this affair, y said the second, lin my
own way. Now, write out an accept.
ance in the usual form, and put in
for weapons rifles and for distance two
PAGES. y
why, that's muzzle to breast; muir,
der outright exclaimed the principal.
Write what tell you, said the sec
ond.
When it was written the second car.
ried it himself to the second of the chal
lenger,
why, this is butchery." said the
latter second; "butchery in cold
blood Neither man could possibly sur.
vive. "
Then do | understand that you wish
tonegotiate?' asked the other in hi:
blandest tone.
I'VE certainly do, said the challen
gers second.
Very well, very well; I'll Sc,
about it, said the challenged party
second.
OF course, that duel never came off
-Phtadciphia Record.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-08-17
The Strength Of the Strong.

Philadelphia is where they make it.
This is the distributing point for the
United States. The violets charm your
eyes, but you must be blind if you could
not hear the garlic smell, They say this
fragrant herb was introduced into Penn.
sylvania by farmer who came from
over the seas and located near Winches-
ter He sowcd a field of it for green
fodder for his cattle. II fell upon good
ground, because there is no other kind
in that county, and it grew and brought
forth 100000 fold. And it spread all
over the country, Down the shaded lane
and in the fairy dell, on verdant hillside
and in the dasy-sprnkled meadow,
wherevertwo or three blades of grass are
gathered together there is a bunch of
garlic in their midst You never saw
anything like it out West. Sometimes the
COW wanders into it and devours il with
n relish for the clover And then when
you drink glass of milk you 90 around
breathingo on the flies in wanton cruelty,
just to see them die.-R, j. Burdette in
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-08-17
A Dangerous Doctrine,

I'm getting to be considerable of a
believer in the Darwinian theory" said
well-known joker last evening as he
sat conversing with group of cronies
II certainly believe in the theory of the
Survival of the fittest. y
You do" exclaimed a friend in an
iucrcdulous tone OF voice.
"Ycs, DO"
"Well, of all things in the world, that
is the most foolish for you TO believe
It's suicidal, MANI
GLOW SOP
"Why, if that plan werein operation,
you would live just about two minutes
LONGER
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-08-17
SHEkIFF'S SALE.

gy virtue Of al execution issued ont Of the
clerks Office Of the Gil cult court of Alexander coun'
ty and state Of Illinois, and to me directed, where.
by am commanded TO make the amount Of GER
tain judgment recently OBJ tanned against Walter )
Lander In favor Of Benjamin + curtis out Of the
lands, tenemen-s, goods and chattels of the said
Walter : Lander, have levied on the following
described property, to.wit: All Of section even
ul).in township sixteen (l6) and in range tSo q,
acres, the above described land s lying and being
situat in the county OF Alexander and state Of
Illinois.
Therefore, according to said command, ] snail
expose for sale at public alction, all the right,
title and interest of the above named Walter
Lander, in and TO the above described property,
at II o o'clock am on Tuesday the 2Sth day Of Aug,
| 1883, at the westerly door OF the court house in
| city Of Cairo, His.
! Dated at Caro-, Ill this 9th day ofAugnst lss3.
| JOHN HODGES,
| Sheriff Alexander County.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-08-17
Do Not Be Deceived.

In these times Of quack medicine adyer-
tisements everywhere it is truly gratifying
to find one remedy that is worthy of praise
and which really does as recommended.
Electric Bitters we can vouch for as being
a true and reliable remedy, and one that
will do as recommended, They invariably
cure Stomach and Liver Complaints, Dis
eases of the Kidneys and Urinary diff
culties. We know whereof we speak, and
can readily say, give them trial. Sold al
fifty cents bottle by Barclay Bros. (3)
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-08-17
A NOuriShing Wine.

Old and intirm persons need some mild
tonic or gentle stimulant, especially at this
season. The wine made at Speer's Mount
Prospect Vineyards, in New Jersey, Gale
Speers Port Grape Wine, is used in the At,
lsntC States the best tonic wine known
and is regarded as pure, and is very popu'
lar among physicians. 1t is especially
beneficial for females and old peope.-St
Louis Republican.