The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-05-17
Proctor Knott In the Tolls.

PSOCtCr Knott In the Tolls.
Proctor Knott, who has the reputa-
ton of being the first story telleriu Ken
lucky, saws the Washington Critic, where
most OF the good story tellers live, gave
an account of an interview with GER
tain Mr.. Watkins, of Vermont, which
he told with skill OF facial expression
hat would have made bis fortune on the
stage. The rules about admission to the
floor of the house are very strict and u
conversation with member can only be
had by an outsider by sending card
through the doorkeeper, when the mem
Der energies, hurrjes through the talk
and goes in again. AS members are
usually pretty we'll occupied, 1t is ex
pected that these interviews shall be as
brief as possible. One day Mr.. Knott
received the card of Mr.. Watkins, of
Vermont, whom he did not know. He
went ont, met long, lean man with a
solemn countenance, and this converse
ton followed:
''Be you Mr.. Knott. the funny man?"
eyes. sir said Mr.. Knott, promptly,
"and I'm great deal funnier than you'd
suppose. The fact is 1 don't care to be
as funny as can be. I've already sac
rificed the lives of several of my friends
through reckless exercise of my hui
morous powers, and 1 go under con-
slant sense of self restraint"
"Be you from the blue grass region or
the Penny-ryai?'
sim from the Penny-ryal." Here Mr..
Knott began to be little uneasy. They
were Just beginning a roll call in the
house. Mr. Watkins shifted to his
other foot and began again:
"What kind of cattle do they have
!. down in Kentucky"
"Well, we still have very fine brood
of the megatherium there. But the pie
tosaurus and icthyosaurus. I'm sorry to
say are rapidly dying out, 1t will be a
great loss to the state, because they are
very tame, and have been great deal
used for domestic purposes. A good
many of the ladies make pets of them. )"
Mr.. Watkins seemed little surprised,
but he got on the other foot and changed
the subject:
"Do you know Mary Anderson?
"Oh, very WELL"
us she SO purity?
"Ravishingly beautiful"
Mr.. Watkins paused moment. Mr..
Knott could hear the roll.call straying
rapidly towards to the KS. Did you
ever see her play in r omeo and Juliet?' !"
"Oh, frequently"
"Do YOU think that Romeo and Jul
liet' is the best play Shakespeare ever
wrote?"
well, now. my friend, you'll have to
excuse rue from expressing an opinion on
that point. You see, I'm up for re-elec-
ton. and feeling is running high in my
district now on this very question.
About half of my constituents say that
Romeo and Juliet is the best play CT
/, Shakespeare ever wrote, and about half
of them swear it isn't. So you see if ]
should commit myself it would damage
me very much in the campaign"
ooh, said Mr.. Watkins. Then he
pulled out of his pocket little Connect
fcut watch, about the size OF a quarter of
q dollar. 'Do they sell many Of them
in Kentucky"
"Well, I've forgotten the price per
peck" said Mr.. Knot; they're usually
sold by the peck. They don't often sell
q bushel..at time"
Mr.. Watkins was surprised, but he did
not 90 away. He only changed to the
other foot. Meanwhile the reading clerk
tAC null hnt OSSoh Oh VIZ - %
"Say. there's another thing l wanted
to see you about. I've heard the people
down your way chew and smoke during
meeting. That amt so, is it?'
Mr.. Knott was angry at last. mo.
sir, it is an Infamous falsehoOd. 1t is
true that the boys usually have poker
ir their pockets, and if the sermon is a
little long they get down between the
pews and have little game and open a
bottle of whisky. But the statement, sir,
that they chew tobacco during church
services is miserable lie of the Yankee
press"
Mr.. Watkins seemed satisfied with
this assurance. He stood still for mo-
4 ment. "Weli, ] thought I'D like to
make your acquaintance, Mr.. Knott.
and he went away, and the Kentucky
mem ber fed into the hall in time to be
counted among the stragglers on the
roll call. He offered to prove by Joe"
Blackburn that this entire conversation
took place, but the company preferred
to take the story without any security.