davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22
4 LECTURERS EXPERIENCE.

Archibald Forbes, the war CORES
pondent, relates some odd experiences of
his while lecturing in Great Britain and
this country. Audiences in Great
britain, he says, are very demonstrative,
applauding all through and in places
where it makes one wonder what there
IS to be demonstrative about; but Amer
lean audiences are much more self-re-
strained and critical. Canadian audi
ences are SUPERFICIAL. While describing
III lecture the illness of the Prince of
Wales and the Queen, strolling up and
down IN front of the houge, tall, gaunt
figure arose and, pointing at him long
finger, said: "Stop." Then, facing the
audience, he exclaimed: "Ladies and
gentlemen! This loyal audience will
ROW sing God save the Queen" which
they did and Forbes went on with his
lecture. At its close, and while the mo-
ton OF vote Of thanks was, as usual,
being put to the audience, the same
figure moved an amendment which was
that " the lecturer be requested to re-
peat that portion of the lecture referring
to our gracious sovereign" And repeat
1t he did. Several years ago Forbes in
terviewed sailor who had subsisted on
the bodies of some of his comrades who
had with himself been cast away at sea
by the burning of their ship. At Dun
dee some time after man met him after
his lecture, and, asking the lecturer if
he remembered him, which Forbes was
forced to deny, he said in a hollow,
gloomy voice: "Mon, I'm the cannibal.'
One of Forbes Chairmen, having got
mixed about the lecture list, introduced
him AS "Charles Bradlaugh, the cele-
brated English free-thinker and orator."
He added that the audience might not
agree with ali the lecturer might utter.
but he thought he could promise him
from New England audience patient
and attentive hearing. Forbes advises
lecturers starting cat with comic lect-
ure, at whose success they are rot sure:
!" s,rs'te sleepy he4Ga.t CLa}ro.ar.
Onca /" one g.! lis ,n"s, 9athct.c nass-
ages, "hen rleu siop:l lave wept and
women tainted, ne audience bean 10
gUitaw. lie turned to the Chairman for
protection. When, behold, THAI worthy
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22
THE OTHER HORN.

"Mister," began small boy, as he
entered Woodward avenue grocery,
"ma bought some mackerel here las,
night"
eyes"
"And. in making change, you gave
her"
Ono, I didn't! I haven't had a
quarter with hole in it for month r'
"But ma says you gave her a"
Don't believe it-don't believe it
L remember, now, I gave her a half
dollar, quarter and nickel"
Ma says you gave her gold piece
for penny, and here it is"
Good gracious alive but so did
so did! remember now that I gave
her a dollar bill and lot of small
change. Bub. what's your name, and
do you think you can eat three sticks Of
lemon candy? All ! it does me good to
find honesty and reward it I'-Detroit
Free Press.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22
HIGHER EDUCATION 0FWoyrv.

We need higher culture for those
women who do not enter the professions.
Our system OF educating the girls, as a
rule. is very radically false. There are
notable exceptions, but the rule is the
following, that the object sought to be
gained is accomplishments rather than
solid knowledge. Women are taught to
play the piano and to use the French
language. They get smattering of
many subjects, an intellectual grip on
hardly any. Even knowledge is given
them as an accomplishment is, not
for its own sake, but to make them ap-
pear pleasing. To be blunt, women are
educated so they may please men. The
fault is less with the teachers than with
the parents, who create the demand and
obtain the supply in our fashionable
schools. All this oughtnot to be. Our
education Of girls should be more prac-
tical, more soIdly useful than it is.
Every woman, whether she needs to
enter profession or not, should be so
trained that she can enter one. or at
least perform some useful service for
which society will remunerate her.
Every girl should know that she can
support herself if she desires to do so.
If this were the case, women would have
greater independence and freedom in
choosing their husbands than they now
have, and the knowledge that there is
an alternative open to them would cause
them to enter married life on q footing
of greater equality than is now accorded
to them. There would then be fewer of
those unhappy marriages into winch
young women allow themselves to be
hurried for fear OF falling burden upon
their father or their brothers; fewer of
those cases in which q woman saws
eyes ct the altar when her whole soul
means "no."
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22
DEVOURING HISTORICAL DOCU-
MENYE

Among the great men of modern times
upon whom the pleasures of the table
have VIGOROUSLY exercised powerful at
fractions was the late Adolphe Theirs.
He was, however, a gourmand rather
than a gourmet, and his favorite dish
was picked cod, an edible which he held
IN such surprising esteem that he was
wont to describe it as "the masterpiece
of human invention" For nearly fifty
years he enjoyed it daily-thatis to say,
whenever he dined at home-untl his
medical advisers discovered, apropos of
slight indisposition from which he
was suffering one day, that picked cod
was unsuited to the digestive organs Of
a septuagenarian, and laid their strict
injunction upon him to give it up.
Theirs would fain have disregarded this
prohibition, but his wife and Mile. Dosne
insisted upon its observance, and ban
ished picked cod from his table. De-
prived Of the comestible he loved best,
he became SO dismally low-spirited that
his friend Mignet, like himself Mar
seillaise and historian, took pity
upon him. Twice q week, on the
pretext of consulting his Excel
lency respecting the details of
great historical work, he called upon
Theirs, invariably carrying parcel under
his arm. Upon these occasions Mile.
Dosne would say: "More historical
documents! Mignet will really exhaust
our national archives at this rate. He
has again shut himself up with Theirs.
How hard those two men work |" She
little suspected that Mignet's parcel
contained tin case of picked cod, pur-
chased at the "Trois Freres Proven
caux," or that, as soon as the doors of
the Presidents study were securely
locked upon the two friends, Theirs
and Mignet fell upon the Historical
documents" with deep and holy Joy.
When, an hour or SO later, they joined
the ladies, Theirs never failed to remark
in comp lacent tone, "Dear friend, that
was indeed masterpiece of human in
vention )" upon which his sister-in-law
wonld rejoin, "I knew very well that
Mignet had brought you some imminent
ofspecialinterest. "-London Telegraph.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22
THE UMBRELLA RACKET.

A Hartford Conn. man was denounc-
ing newspaper advertising to crowd OF
listeners.
"Last week, said he, 81 had an UNI
brella stolen from the vestibule of the
church. 1t was q gift, and, valuing it
very highly, I spent double the worth in
advertising, but I have not recovered
it."
How did you word the advertise
ment?" asked a merchant.
Here it is, said the man, producing
slip cut from a newspaper.
The merchant took it and read:
"Lost from the vestibule of the -
Church last Sunday evening a black silk
umbrella. The gentleman who took it
will be handsomely rewarded by leaving
it at No. -, San Fernando street.
"Now," said the merchant, "I am q
liberal advertiser. and have always
found it paid me well. A great deal de-
ponds upon the manner in which an
advertisement is put. Let us try Ter
your umbrella again, and, if you do not
then acknowledge that advertising pays,
L will purchase you new one."
The merchant then took a slip of
paper from his pocket and wrote:
eff the man who was seen to take an
umbrella from the vestibule of -.
Church last Sunday does not want to
get into trouble ana have a stain cast
upon his Christian character which ne
values SO highly, he will retr!1 it at
once to No. =, San Fernando street.
He is well Known"
This duly appeared in the paper, and
the following morning the man was as
tonishnd when he opened the front door
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22

was waited upon by man VINO 5uvugu,
he deserved something from Uncle Sam.
"Did you go to the WARP"
"No, but I was in camp at Eln1ira fol
ten days."
"Were you accidentally wounded ?"
emo"
"Have heavy fit of sickness ?"
emo"
Sect chronic diarrhea 2"
"No."
Contract rheumatism ?"
emo"
my FRIEND" said the lawyer, as he
looked at him in fatherly way, "some
pension agents might be discouraged
over your case and refuse to touch it,
but L shall at once forward your papers
for a pension on the ground that you
were broken of your usual rest during
those ten nights. Call again in sixty
days for your back pay. Good morn
ing, sir-next !"- Wall Street DasIs
NeaUS,
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22
SARAH W.4SN,T THERE

Charley Shaw, of the Detroit Opera
House, was grinning at the window Of
the bo4-ofiice, when in walked chap
with an agricultural bronze on his face
and asked:
docs any one perform here?"
ooh, yes"
This afternoon ?"
NO; tonight"
How much to zee emp"
:" Well, ! can give you a seat for half
dollar, and you can hold your girl on
ycGg lap"
" Woaidn'r anybody lafrt?"
Aor 1arch! We don't allow any
laughing il his house"
" Wen, maybe we'll come. Has dis
!a2a:er ever burned up?"
Never"
any danger Of Ere on the stagc?"
Not Il bit"
Any picllpockets around?"
None"
docs anybody peddle lemonade? :"
No"
"Any prize packages given cut ?"
"No."
. lake half dollar with a hole in
ftp"
Yes"
what kind of a play is it?"
"It's tragedy"
Tragedy? Then that lays ne on.
Sarah was to O circus last year wbnr.
Some one hit teller who crawIed ,,,,ie,
the canvas with a neck yoke, AMI Ii,
tainted SO dead away Chat they tad 10
unhltch her corset and JERK ~ her
shoes. Let her see a play where fa!lers
are Jabbing with pitchforks, knocking
down with crowbars aul sl:cing each
other up with swords, and she'd tumble
kerplunk and stop the how lead still.
L hope you'll ca wen and all that bat |
don't bring 10 Sa.:.h 30 see 10 trago,iv
ana don't yon forget i'll She faia,.d On
me- once, and MY hair ti;rurG gray At
tie rate OF tusho! rl-9it!"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22
GE1IS FROM DICKENS.

TR1ELEs make the sumo Of life.-DGVid
Coopeyfe1d.
SCI REPRESENTATION is the first law of
nature. Oliver IsOiSt.
CULTIVATE habits of punctuality and
method.-OUr MastisaI Friend.
GRATITUDE and devotion are Christian
GU ljt;es.-Pictures from italy.
Va count by changes and events
within us. Not by years.-2He Battle
g' Life.
DEVASTATION OF the high is the invol
nal..ry homage of the Iowa. Tale OF
z'uo cities.
= CoErEMPLATIvE man can always
employ himself in meditation. -Pick-
a"jcA fapers.
WHEy you meet with real talent, and
n"t've, too, encourage it. That's what
1 say,-&ceaes.
I:1E man who learn endurance are
they Who call the whole world brother.
-E4r5.a1y fudge.
WHEN you don't know the meaning of
"a expression why don't you seek for in
formation?-D0no5ey and Son.
A NAN in any station can do his duty,
and, doing it, can earn his own respect.
Tile Se0sa Poor Travellers.
lT's enough for man to understand
Ills own business, and not to interfere
with other peoples. Christmas Carol.
lHCULCArE habits of self-denial and
conteEtment, and teach good doctrines
OF enlarged henevolence. American
Notes.
IT IS with languages as with people,
when you only know them by sight you
are apt to mistake them. -sSoneebodv's
Luggage.
No NAN of sense who has been gen.
orally improved, and has improved him
self, can be called quite uneducated as
to anything. Doarit.
HERE is one quality which all men
have Uncommon with the angels blessed
opportunities of exercising, if they will,
n.ercy.-Njcholas Nickle6y.
REFLECT upon your present bless
Jugs, 'f which every man has many,
not GA your past misfortunes, of which
aIl IL, L have some. Sketches 6y Boz.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22

A HEBREW vender of ready-made
clothing who had his nose bitten off in a
struggle with burglar was visited the
other day by a sympathizing Israelite.
"It ish too pad, ishn't it? ?" said the mu-
tilated merchant, extending his hand,
and looking the very picture of melan-
choly. "Py shimminy, it ish, Yacup,"
returned the visitor, sorrowfully con-
templating the havoc that the burglar
Lad made; "nobody would ever know
YOU for O Shew."
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22
NO CURE ZOE LIARS.

a Michigander who took in the White
Sulphur Springs of Virginia on a recent
trip one day approached an aged negro
who was lettering on the street, and con-
fdentialIy informed him that he had
come to the springs to be cured of the
habit of lying. and he asked the old
mans opinion OF the chances for cure.
How long has you bin in de habit of
lynn, sab ?" was the honest query.
"About fifty years."
"Lyin' all de timeP"
Fright along, day after day."
"Big lies ?"
"Yes-the worst old whoppers you
ever heard. Give me your honest opin-
ion, now, as to whether a course of baths
will help me-"
"Wall, sah," said the old negro, as
he scratched his head, "pears to me
dat if you kin git de water hot huff it
might help you some, but de trubble is
dat in sweatin' out de lies you may cook
de body, an my 'sperience wild white
men am dat 7 kin git long better wild a
well man who lies dan wild a parbiled
man who tells de truf l'-Erec Press.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22
TIRE LImE-K1LN CLUB ON DfYoRos

TIRE LIME-kILN CLUB ON DIVORCB.
II hold heah in my ham," began
Brother Gardner, as he waved the mis-
siv= aloft, ga letter from Guild clergy
man In Tennessee akin dis club to use
It's influence to secure mo- stringent di-
vorca laws in de varus States, and to sot
It's face agin de procurement Of divorce.
Haept fur the very gravest reasons.
D club viii Go muffin of de kind. On
io contrary, It will vote solid to furnish
il: fa,. LIKES fne par4es des.rous to be
a.,!1tehs,. "1tl pIomptnesS and dis
81. -, Nn!Til;' cnues nearer perdishun
,ia}- NJ li.m .te"t an unmatched couple
,:yin' TO 10 togeder as man and wife.
'.oi:, DAT M eoap.o whc doan' Tub each
oGes-vho d'a: gree AZ can't forgive
WHO WON'T e. cuss-snould lib togeder
tlE minutes. 1--we sit house we doan'
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22

OF his residence. On the porch lay at
least half dozen umbrellas of all shades
and sizes, that had been thrown in from
the sidewalk, while the front yard was
literally paved with umbrellas. Many of
them had notes attached to them, saying
that they had been taken by mistake,
and begging the loser to keep the little
affair quiet. Commercial.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22

of the audience and continued all
through his lecture to enliven and re-
ieve them by poking the sleepy man up,
who fell off again almost Immediately
when left alone.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22
GOOD ENOUGH.

A wagon containing a calf in cage
was en- the market with farmers wife
in charge, and butcher with an eye to
veal stepped up and inquired:
"Malam, is that calf for saIe?"
eyes, sir"
"Is he Durham?"
"He may be-"
isn't an Ayrshire, is hep"
Like enough"
Don't you know his breed?" he
asked in surprised voice.
mo, I don't"
"Then how do you expect to sell
him?"
"All I know about that calf is that
his father hooked aJustice Of the Peace
to death and his mother chased female
lecturer two miles, and if that amt
breed enough to ask 81 or you needn't
take him!"
The butcher said the breed was all
right.-DetroH Free Press.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22

BIZ IN iTUAK IND BLOOD-SUPPEK.
Bat, even ii it is true that the larger
and healthier physique affords more
blood for brain use, says Nina Movais
IL tie l'osoWIoyr Science Aonthly. it does
n0t IoiIoW that the larger the supply
the greater tho amount of brain-worl
possible. The argument assumes that
the brain has no limit to It's activity ex-
cept IL the quantity of blood that can
be prepared for it. But it needs no
scientific education to know that there
are other influences which limit the
thinkers activity, and that these imita-
tons are somewhere in the mysterious
recesses Of the brain, or in the forces of
which the brain is the organ. The
physical health of the brain worker NAV
be perfect, his digestion unimpaired,
his power to assimilate food the same.
and yet he may not be able to concen-
trste his thoughts or carry on a compi-
Gated train Of reasoning.
The defect is not in his body-that is
rs healthy as ever nor is it in any part
OF tie processes of bloc i-making-these
50 on as before. The trouble hes in
the brain itself. whose capacity for work
Is measure By some hidden standard of
Its own, and which gives warning when
a cessation of brain-work is imperative
Iir' ''Wiy Is q tulDace whose power Of
cl''"'inng incl is greater than the cana
'..i; 81 ~ h>ri.r--tbe train-to eeDer-
tx 49, !. - '".'p th'- ia;:er III good
'''.."2'.; .'''n..i-' Ii s,n,rti,.'g l.ure is
49, s~rY ti.:.r. '',.li'j..l amt feedtug the
"f,,, = supplementary buy im 9ortaut
',':.-',.'a:iou i, whether the steam be-
'.a." certain point viii not bo pro.
.'a.,.Fe % unpleasant Consequences in
tue form Of al explosion.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22

81 CAN'T get up early" said q poor
victim to his doctor. ooh, yes, you
can, was the reply. eff you Will only
follow my advice. What is your hour of
rising?" "Nine o'clock" "Well, get
up half an hour later every day, and in
the course of a month you will find
Yourself up at in the morning."
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22
-8-'AA GET II.

A Brooklyn lawyer, who has the rapu-
tatlon Of securing pensions Tor men who
were within twenty mile .. any battle,
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22

Az Old adagc says: Hell is paved
with good intentions" aud is tie only
place If which we ever heard that is.
Goaera!ly paving IS done VIII the in
tap,:on OF cheating the city.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22

The works of Zola have been sup
pressed by law in Germany. Any
bookseller having "Nana" OF "L'Asso-
moir" on sale is liable to fine and i'm
prisOnment.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-22

Tan.aE are Cj,03j colored Bapt;sts in
Harnesses. with 80 churches
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-06-18
London World

The Duchess of Manchester looked re-
markably handsome and younger than
many who are her juniors by some years
Lady Headfort's jewels are am ong some
of the most remarkable, after the well
known collection of the Duchesses of We'll
linstOn, Bedford and Cleveland, while
Lady Rosebery's and Baroness Burdett-
Coutts' cannot be eclipsed. Most of the
dresses worn by young ladies were short,
just touching the ground. Mar
ried women mostly held to trained
skirts which are certainly more
dignified and suitable to heavy ma
terials trimmed with lace and Jewels.
The Duchess of Roxbqrghe looked very
handsome as she followed the Princess of
Wales with Lady Churchill. Miss Mac
donald was also in waiting. Miss Loeb,
in attendance on the Princess, had very
pretty and effective costume of dark brown
satin and tulle. Lady TweeddaIe looked
remarkably handsome. Lady Baths
daughter was among the most admired of
the young ladies, with Lady IL. Black
wood. Miss Keppel, Miss Agar-Ellis,
Miss Lister and Miss Fuller, each Of whom
wore a white dress name very simple.
There were bouquets of gigantic size, but
on the whole their dimensions were
more moderate, and il was
most chic to have them of one kind
of flower only. The Duchess of Man.
chester had carnations; one entirely of
pink peonies, another of mignonette, an
other of arums and fern, and another of
lilies of the valley, attracted notice.
Among the general company the palm of
good taste was universally awarded to
Lady Roblesdale in clouds of sage-green
tulle, relieved by no speck of white and
carrying gigantic bouqueto of mignonette.
In contrast to this simple toilet, and none
the less striking, was Lady Dalhousie in
massive draperies of crimson velvet,
faultlessly moulded to her grand figure,
which neither lace nor iewelry adorned.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-06-18
HILLS CONTRACTS.
Several New Cases of Lavish Expendi-
lures to be Taken In

w WASHINGTON, June 16.-No session
was held to-day of the committee investi-
eating the transactions of the Office of su-
pervising architect of the Treasury, owing
to the absence Of Architect Hilps counsel.
When Assistant Secretary New made this
announcement. Coleman, counsel for
Murch, SAID with some warmth that he
wished to call the attention of the COM
mittee to what he regarded as gross inn
pertlnence, both to himself and to New.
he then produced a reqaisitiOn made sew
eral days ago by Murch upon Hill for pa
pers relating to contracts for statuary for
the Philadelphia public building. The re-
quest was indOrsed by New, with an order
for the production of the papers, on the re-
verse side, with Hill's Endorsement re-
fusing to furnish the desired papers, for
the reason that the statuary in
question was not mentioned on
the charges being investigated. Cole
man characterized this refusal as
an insult to the Chairman of the commit
tee and HilPs superior. Coleman then
gave notice>that the prosecution proposed
to take up the public buildings at St.
Louis, Chicago, Cincinnati and other
places, and to show that above $500. 900 OF
public funds had been illegally expended.
Mr.. Murch stated this evening that
among the papers which he had been
enabled to extort from the experimenting
architects office was one showing that in
one instance after the contracts had been
made an order was made by the architect
increasing the compensation of the con-
tractors % per cent, or 81 per cubic foot.
for cutting and polishing stone for the
Philadelphia public building. GAS to the
contract for statuary for that building ;"
said Murch, sit was awarded to Assistant
Secretary French's son, and by HIM sub
let to another party, who sublet it to the
contractor who is now engaged in exc
cutting it,"