The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1883-01-06
AN UNsATIsFAcToRY PICNIC.

nv AOAO1 4AGMA0H
We amt having any more picnics, that
is, not church picnics, in our section now,
sighed a Suffolk farmer. as the cashier made
out his bill for advertising his seed potatoes
and handed him his change. We had one,
but they are not talking about il any more
what seems TO be the trouble?' asked the
cashier. The first one wasn't callkilated 10
make'em popular replied the old man.
b~uckling up his pocket book. Il don't
think you could raise seven shillings toward
another in the country Didn't IL come
off in good shape z inquired the cashier. IL
Went off, and that was chiefly the trouble
was the response. You see the picnic was
TO raise some money to pay the interest on
the mortgage and the balance 90 20 to the
heather. The winner turned loose and
made pie, and we men got some lemons and
buckets, and if we'd stopped there il would
been oil right. Lemonade and pie was good
enough for anybody, but some smart Alecks
thought we ought to have soda water, and
like a choice assortment Of darned fools, we
all Clipped IN for one Of them copper foun-
tains.' That's a pretty good idea,' COM
mentcd the cashier. Think so, ELI = re-
Piled the farmer dryiy. The idea was
good enough, but the fountain made trouble.
The way we fixed it was to let the nozzle Of
the contrivance stick up through the table,
and squirt during the frugal meal. Thought
it would be a pleasant sight and c%nliven the
proceedings Did it2 1t did. There's a
great many factions in our country, but they
agree that the fountain enlivened the pro-
ceedings. You know we all sat around the
table on benches, and we men carved the
pies while the wimmen dipped the drink.
We were to be helped before we turned the
loose, and then we was TO catch the
soda in glasses as it came OUT Did you
catch anyF We did. We didn't catch
much in the glasses, but we got the soda
that Is, n good deal Of il. Some of il got
away. Why, sir, just as soon as the parson
turned the spiggot you should have seen
that picnic ? Fizz! Whoopl And there we
was : Where were you 2 Well, we was
scattered. The table has been heard of
.wice, and some think il looked MS though
t was falling. Pie You should have seen
hem pies One big apple pie, with a top
md bottom attachment and scolloped edge,
vent through that picnic like a circular
aw! You ought to see the timber fall
round that part A custard ditto went
lean through old Aunt Betty Bigelow and
mashed against a barn with a report like a
ham bottle. Pie Friend, we carry sheet
ron umbrellas in our section now + sAny-
ne hurt p asked the cashier. Not to men-
We haven't got 'em all down out of
he trees yet, but those we have saved
eem to be all right with the exception OF
n edge or a joint knocked off here and
mere. | don't know that any one was
lied. though half the picnic is yet to hear
But the point want to make is.
we amt having any more of them
That's where you're all wrong
lggested the cashier. That very experi-
nee was just what you wanted How ?,
the farner You were trying to
Use a church debt, as I understood il.
low, why don't you open another soda
'untain right under the debt That set.
ed II, and if tornado is ever reported
ON down Suffolk way that cashier will
n We something TO answer for.