The Evening critic., 1883-03-24
THE CRITIC ABROAD,

Reform Poetry.
Ah-"VILLIKINs AND Hrs DtSAu.'
As Bliss was u walkin' the country around
A.thinkin' where char ces to punder were found,
He heard of the star Routes and thought they
would pay
At one hundred and nfty dollars day.
Singing tooral, la looral, la tooral la lay
lie pockets one hundred aud ffty n day
10 keep this mill going he tries very hard;
He gets ailidavits and yarns by he yard
by dint OF long speeches, detectives aud lies,
He spins the thing out to the country's surprise.
singing, etc.
He managed adroitly, to make 1t appear
That trials should 20 on for year after year,
And greatly rejoiced in this sort OF delay,
At one hundred aud hfty dollars a day.
Singing, etc.
Besides this allowance hls extras are high;
lie piles on the Items come wet come dry;
He charges for postage, for sleepers and drinks,
For bed and for board, and Tor each time he
thinks.
Singing, etc.
Tie seasons may come and the seasons may 20,
Bringing summer, and winter, and seed-tiine, and
snow;
But while the supplies In the Treasury last
Bliss won't be choked of from his gorgeous repast.
Sii ging. ETC.
''Yes, this building is haunted" said an
attache of the Presidential Mansion to the
Critic this morning, ''and it is said that
supernatural sights are not unfrequently
witnessed in these large, old-fashioned
rooms and airy halls. Several weeks ago
the President changed the location of his
bedchamber by removing from the east to
the north room, and it was vaguely whis-
pered then that his slumbers had been dis
tt,rh rh.l t,,,a al pt,1 tr1 ,rtgtt
the same that one Of our chambermaids
said she had seen walking stately and erect
through the upstairs Railways on several
occasions.
"Yes, the ghostly visitor is man." con-
tinued the attache, because | remember
well of hearing the chambermaid say that
he had long, flowing white hair aud beard,
and very much resembled the statesmen of
long ago, whose pictures we see printed on
the pages of history. At any rate, sir, l
know that the Presidents rest is often dis
turbed at night, because I have heard him
time and time again moving about long
after midnight, and sometimes / have lis
tened to his steady and continued pacing
across the floor when every one else in the
house was slumbering, and wondered what
was disturbing him."
His great responsibility or dyspepsia,
might have been the agents." suggested
the Critic
"oh, no. quickly rejoincd the attache,
neither of them, Pm sure. 1t was the
White House ghost, and I'll bet on it,
This ghost is the same one that made GEN
eral Grants nights here so scarce, and sug
gested his frequent trips through the
country, as l have heard the attendants
who were here with him frequently say,
and will tell you candidly that think
the ghosts frequent appearances of late
have put the notion into President Arthur's
head of going off on his proposed trip"
Concluding, the Presidential individual
left to answer a call from up stairs.
The Critic subsequently got the follow
ing description from one who claims to
have seen the white spirit of the White
House, HE is an aged and bent-back old
man with long, phosphorescent white beard
and hair, ghastly and wavy, bright and
glaring eyes and long, scrawny fingers.
His walk is nOiseless but stately, aud his
presence Is always indicated by peculiar
electric sensation which pervades the sur
rounding air. The electricity is what
breaks the President up, and makes him
perambulate."