The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-08-21
ADUDE IN TROUBLE.
Uncle jeff Snow Cures One at
Short Notice,

| Short Notice,
Salem La. vidette.
"Pap, what's er dude?" inquired 8
little freckle-faced girl, climbing ur
into Uncle Jefiis lap as he sat on lbt
back porch taking his after.dinnel
smoke. Leaning back on his soau
box, and overwhelming a pensive fy
with a food Of tobacco juice he re-
piled, slowly:
GER dude, Sal, is err cross tween a
monkey in a green Jacket and a jack
ass and a yaller pair of pants; a kind
of a missin' link. yer know"
"But, pap, is brother Dan dude?"
Softly running his hand through
her red hair, he said: mo, Sal, he
amt now, but he was when he cum
here. l cured him of bein' a dude;
cured him down in the wood lot"
"How could l cure dude, young
Teller? Well, I'll tell yer, so as yer
can sell the receipt. A chap with
such a receipt had ought to make a
pile Outen it.
eyer sac, my boy Dan1 took no.
ton about three or four years ago, es
farmin' wasn't good enough for him;
so l give him an old note l had on
Baptist preacher for 500 and let him
go. He went to Frisco and struck the
preacher, and got the cash and two
years interest, fur a fact. Then he
got some edication and went to
counterjumpin', and cum up to Ore
gOn.
HE was purity steady and sensible,
though l heerd he was mighty Gne ON
dress, but had no idea he Lad got to
be q dude.
Wall. he got bounced fur bein' too
good-lookin, he says, but L spect it
was fer bein' too sassy an lazr, an he
cum up to see the folks.
When | got ter the depot there was
Dani, and l hardly konw'd him.
His pants was a kind of a sprckled
sky.blue. and were as tight on him
as the skin on hog; and his coat was
about three sizes too small for him an
az tight as the pants, with the color
Of a yaller dog. He had fancy brass
watch staked out with two chains on
MS vest; he had a stiff little hat, lit.
tie cane and pair of gloves. He
imped Up to NE in pair of pinched-
up shoes, held out two fingers to
.hake, and said: Jaw, paw, aw'm
lem glad to see yer, yer knaw.' H.
,ot him in the wagon as quickly as |
'Duld; fer fesr folks would think /
vas moving lunatics to the new asy-
um. He said suthin about the team
icing very ancient and the wagon the
dior OF the road. an the harmony of
ature. | told him to screw up his
NV, and then he went to suckin' the
cad of his cane like he was hungry.
Wall, sit often my lap, if yer want
err
That Teller slid.round the house for
lore than a week, and went down
own shown off his clothes, but he ,
do no work. Everything
las so disgustin' you knaw,' and he
assed me with all sorts of lingo about
eauty and harmony, and esthetics.
nd SIGH. / though maby he would
ONE to his senses after bit. but he
cpl on just fhe same. TYer, Sam
Lden, if l catch yer a dragein' that
itten any more by the tail I'll whale r.
cry on hear me. He went down
the wood lot with me and the bows
see 'natur, in her wild beauty or a,
,mething of that sort, one morning
lille We got er load er wood. (Shut F
sr jaw and 60 to yer marin, Gar
cid.
l got him to give lifs with a log
chuck it in the wagon, but when he Z
light to have chucked he let his end
'oP, and then that made my end set
lick onto my foot. While l was
lssin about my foot, he ..rawled out
thin about its being too heavy. and
'lnned sideways to the boys. Dam !
l could stand that, and / went for +
m. [ don't remember exactly how ]
went clear through. but in about Z
e minutes that ground was covered