The banner-enterprise., 1883-05-31
THE BAD BOY AND HIS PA.
A FEW FRIENDS SPEND THE EVEN
ING AT THEIR HOUSE.
The Bad Boy Oyerhears an Experience
Meeting and the Old Gentleman Gets Into
More Trouble.


More Trouble.
"What is this hear" inquired the
grocery man of the bad boy, "about
your pa fighting duel with the min
lister in the back yard, and wounding
him in the leg, and then trying to
drown himself in the cistern? One of
your new neighbors was in here this
morning and told me there was muir
der in the air atyour house last night,
and they were going to have the
police pull your place as disorderly
house. think you we,e at the bot
tom of the whole business
"Oh, it's all a blame lie, and those
neighbors will find they had better
keep still about us, or we will lie
about them a little. You see, since
pa got that backing on his face he
don't 60 out any, and to make it
pleasant for him ma invited in few
friends to spend the evening. Ma has
got up around, and the baby is daisy,
only it smells like a goat on account
of drinking the goats milk. Ma in
vited the minister among the rest, and
after supper the men went up into
pas library to talk. Oh, you think |
am bad, don't you? but of the nine
men at our house last night, | am an
angel compared with what they were
when they were boys. got in the bath
room to untangle my fish line, and it
is next TO pas room. and | could hear
everything they said, but | went
away cause l thought the conversa-
tion would hurt my morals. They
would all steal when they were boys,
but darned if | ever stole. Pa has
stole over a hundred wagon-loads of
watermelons, one deacon used to rob
orchards, another one shot tame ducks
belonging to farmer, and another
tipped over grindstones in front of the
village store at night, and broke them
and run, another used to steal eggs
and go out into the woods and boil
them, and the minister was the worst
of the lot, cause he took seine, with
some other boys, and went to a stream
where neighbor was raising brook
trout, and cleaned the stream out, and
to ward off suspicion he went to the
man the next day and paid him dol
lar to let him fish in the stream, and
then kicked because there were no
trout, and the owner found the trout
were stolen and laid it to some Dutch
boys. l wondered, when these men
were telling their experience, if they
ever thought of it now when they
were preaching and praying and tax
ing up collections. should think
they wouldn't say boy was going to
the bad right off cause he wa. little
wild nowadays, when he has such an
example. Well, lately somebody has
been burgling our chicken coop, and
pa loaded an old musket with rock
salt, and said he would fill the fellow
full of salt if he caught him, and
while they were talking upstairs ma
heard a rooster squawk. and she went
to the stairway and told pa there was
somebody in the hen house. Pa
jumped up and told the visitors to fol
low him and they would see a man
running down the alley full of salt,
and he rushed cut with the gun, and
the crowd followed him. Pa is
shorter than the rest, and he passed
under the first wire clothesline in the
yard all right, and was going
for the hen-house on jump,
when his neck caught the second wire
clothesline Just as the minister and
two of the deacons caught their necks
under the other wire. You know how
a wire, hitting man on the throat,
will set him back, head over appetite.
Well, sir, was looking out the back
window, and l wouldn't be positive,
but | think they all turned back
somersaults and struck on their
ears. Anyway, pa did, and the gun
must have been cooked, or it struck
the hammer on a stone, for it went
off, and it was pointed toward the
house, and three of the visitors got
salted The minister was hit the
worst, one piece of salt taking him in
the hind leg, and the other in the back,
and he yelled as though it was dyna-
mite. suppose when you shoot man
with salt it smarts, like when you get
corned beef brine on your hands. They
all yellC d, and pa seemed to have been
knocked silly, some way, for he pranced
around and seemed to think he had
killed them. He swore at the clothes
line, and then l missed pa and heard a
splash like when you throw cat in
the river, and then | thought of the
cistern, and | went down and we took
pa by the collar and pulled him out.
Oh, he was awful damp. No, sir, 1t
was no duel at all, but naxideHt,
and didn't have anything to do with
it. The gun wasn't loaded to kill, and
the salt only went through the skin,
but those men did yell. Maybe it was
my chum that stirred up the chickens,
but l don't know. lie has not CON-
menced to lead different life yet, and
he might think it would make our
folks sick if nothing occurred tomake
them pay attention. think where a
family has been having good deal of
exercise, the way ours has, it hurts
them to break off too suddenly. But
the visitors went home, real quick,
after we got pa out of the cistern, and
the minister told ma he always felt
when he was in our house. as though
he was on the verge of a yawning
crater, ready to be engulfed any min
ute, and he guessed he wouldn't come
any more. Pa changed his clothes
and told ma to have them wire clothes