The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-03-15
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41c D1ObD AAHAA ~ "
The other nsorning, .ghile the urhane
manager Of woodward IS Gardens was
smoking a-four-bit cigar. and medita-
lively listening to the mufffed walls of a
tofaea6 that had Just been swallowed
alive by the big anaconda, tall, thin,
notwithstanding man, with a goatee
and blue glasses, entered the gate and
remarked IN an insinuating manner:
ssOf course you pass the scientific fra
ternity?"
ssOf course we donoti' said the show
man, emphatically.
What, not the savants, not the plo-
neers in the great march of the mind
into the hitherland of the infinite be-
yondP" returned the professor, with
great surprise.
Il will not deceive you, y sarcastically
replied the proprietor of the only sala-
mander; we pass nothing but the quilts
on the fretful porcupines-I mean the
press. You can't see the ostriches I'M
less you come down and put up"
Dear me, dear met sighed the
scientist, reflectively 'sTo think that a
professor of cosmographic conchology
should be denied admittanee tosa third
class Zoo! Has the Skamgatibus been
fed yetP''
ssSam- whichP,' asked the tiger
importer.
.'Why, the Skamgatibus; you've got
one, haven't your
'Ye-e-s-s; / believe we've small fe-
male somewheres,n said the grizzly s
friend, doubtingly.
ssWhy / never knew first-elass COD
lection to have less than two pair" said
the Professor, contemptuouslv; show
doyourAzimuths stand this cold weather,
ehp''
.sAzimuths?' asked the Napoleon
Aggregation of curiosities; what's themP
Some new kind of bird-you don't mean
ostri-p"
SsOstriches be hanged!n said the sue
cessor of Darwin; .sostriehes are moth
ing. Eve shot more ostriches with
. quail shot than you've hairs on your
head You don't actually mean to sit
there and tell me You haven't got a
single Azimuth to your back?"
.sDon't believe | have, admitted the
alligator breeder, mortified; = what are
they likepn
':Oh, they're of the order Spinalis
spicmot-ahout eight feet high. Fur
peels off in the spring, you know-the
Siberian species, | mean. | suppose
you've got one of those Rectangular
African Flipgoohlies that reached New
York the other day?'
mo; I'm hanged if / did" said the
much agitated Snowman; 'shere I've
been keeping an agent in New York on
big salary to look out for attractions
and he doesn't catch on to the first
blamed thing. Spends all our money on
secondhand panthers and kangaroos
with the rheumatics, III bounce him by
telegraph
Haven't even got a Flipgoohly. ehP''
unused the scientist, in a tone of great
pity. s'And | shouldn't be surprised if
you didn't have Golden Crested Gus
pidor In your whole show
Neither have--neithel have re-
piled the wretehed promoter of pelicans
in tone of great bitterness. S'pose
you just step in, sir, and look round;
mebbe there's something else you could
say
''N-n-o. | guess not,n said the tall
man. ut would hardly pay me to spend
so much valuable scientific time in
fourth-elass show like this Not even
an Azimuth, ehp / should think YOU d
be afraid of being actually mobbed
sometime. l m sorry for You, my man;
sorry for you. I've no doubt Won mean
well, but mot solitary Skamgatibus
Great Scott"
And as the disciple of Audubon passed
into a saloon across the street and
snapped lead nickel for n glass of
beer the barkeeper heard him chuckle
something to the effect that he had got
even on that old hyena puncher, and
don't Won forget it.