Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-10-17
Wednesday Waggeries.

Inc deepest mourning OIL record Is that Of an
Indiana widow, who since the death of her hus-
| band drinks nothing but black tea.-Lo,ceu
Courier.
us DR.. Calomel successful in his practice?'
"Very; he has cleared over s2O,O the last two
years" "Indeed! But has he lost any pa
tients?" "Only those who have died. OF
course, they could be Of no help to him any
longer" "6f course ot."-Boston Transcript.
In family where the best of harmony does
not prevail, the couple try all the same to make
the outside world believe that all is lovely
therein. my husband and l." simpered the
lady. the other day, ''intend to have ourselves
painted together for the next salon." .By a
battle painter" sneeringly asked one of her
friends, who was acquainted with the affairs of
the happy family.-Paris paper.
An old bachelor asserts that the best and
quickest way to revive lady when she faints is
to begin to take down her hair. lit amt her
own she Will grab it in a jiffy.
There ought to be no doubt of the success of
the latest arrived prima donna. She brought
twenty trunks.
when does man become seamstress?"
'When he hens and haws." mo" when he
threads his way" No" '.Wheh he rips and
help it."-Oa City Lizard.
"Where is the girl of long ago." sings Joaquin
Miller. We saw her the other day, Joaquin. But
she isn't girl any more. She had gray hair,
and wart on her nose, and no teeth, and wore
specs.
THE lady Of the lake." remarked Fogg, al
luding to a lady with tinted cheeks
''Yes," said fashionable lady, 81 think Mary
has made very good match. hear that her
husband is one of the shrewdest and most I'M
principled lawyers in the profession, and OF
course he can afford to crafty her every WISH"
Philadelphia Chronicle.
"That handsome gentleman seemed to know
hr,<N %
taken?" "NO, not exactly. We were engaged all
summer; but, you know, the season Is over now.
and it would never do to recognize him here in
the city. He don't belong to our SET"
Mrs. Langtry and her mother, it is announced,
Will live in fiat at New York. That will be
better than to have fiat escorting her about
the country, with maid and valet as chaperOn
and guard.-Boston Herald.
"Why do the oarsmen claim fowl so often.
MIR. Spicer!" said Miss Sugarlips, who was read
ing an account ola bOat-race. II suppose they
get chicken-hearted and feather their oars, said
Seth, as he scratched his own scull thought
fully.
We would MT have believed it; had we not
seen 1t In reputable print, but they do say
that the women in Corea adorn their heads with
bands of false hair! But. then, what better
cou Id you expect of benighted pagans?
"There is one thin g connected with your
table, said a drummer to western landlord,
THAT is not surpassed even by the best hotels in
Chicago" "Yes?" replied the pleased landlord;
land what is that?" 1.-The SALT
Sad jest by policeman with a large family:
Yes, I'm cop. and I've many little copies. y
LOUISVILLE 1er-JOuradl.
eyes," said the Indigo merchant, I'm in a
great hurry. I've got to go and wait an hour
in BARRIERS shop."-Boston Post
There is an old proverb which says: "You
cannot get more out of bottle than was nut in
it," This is amistake. A man can get all that
was put In the bottle, and in addition to this
can get 80 or thirty days.
fortune awaits the man who will invent
penlolder that you can't stick into the mucilage
bottle, and muclage brush that won't 20 into
the Naturalization Post
Experience: Yes said Mrs. Brownsmith.
II want good girl. and possibly you
might do; but have you had any experience"
"lxparicnce. is it," replied the damsel, resting
her hands on her hips and tossing her head in
the air. "1xparience, is it? Faith, and haven't
Oh been in no less than twinty families during
the last mOnth?"-Boston Transcript.
A prominent Austin lawyer, in going to his
place of business, overlook a neighbor who is
celebrated doctor. After walking some distance
together, the lawyer said: 81 don't think we
two ought to be seen together" "Why no?"
"WelI you see, we being together will remind
the people of that robber who was arrested.
"Why. how so?" "When the people see law
yer and a doctor together it looks like a de-
mand-'Your money or your lite!' "-Ierds Sift-
ings.
II trust your daughter is not one of those
tame, spritless sort of girls that sometimes
apply to us for situations and are too 6ashftll to
ill them, said Boston shOpkeeper to a father
who was seeking employment for one of his
children.
"Sir," he replied Indignantly, my daughter
has red hair"
"Why don't you ask blessing?" said the
pious clearinghouse keeper to the boarder He
Looked all over etable and gloomily answered.