National Republican., 1883-08-25
THE oyster crop will be duo in six davs.

CLARA LOUISE KELLOGG is about to make
a farewell tour. 49," says the uncharitable
Courier Journal, "are death and taxes"
"PEAcHEs" was the name of Gen. Crooks
guide on his raid into the Mexican Indian coun-
try. No wonder he had hard time oft
"SINcE the arrival of the English sparrow
In America" says the Courier Journal ''inany
persons are expressing thanks that cows don't
ny." why2
A BURGLAR was shot to death in n Michi-
gan village the other night. Burglars have n
tough time in placez where there is no police
Courier Journal
EMORY SToRRs, of Chicago, is at Saratoga,
and is reported as having 800 neckties But they
won't help him out when his collar button gets
lost under the bureau some morning.
THE New York Times gives half column
to an acc-lnt of the shooting of Paddy Ryan by
his mistress in Chicago. This is not metropolitan
Journalism distinctly but news Of interest in
society circles-that Is, among tho FOUNDERS"
A PULLMAN car porter was found dead in
the smoking room of his car last week. The Bur-
lington Hd,Ckeye is informed that the investigation
by the coronor's jury revealed the fact that the
president of the road had given the man q
quarter and the nstonished porter died of the
shock.
REV. Mr.. BEEcHER says he does not believe
the story OF the fall of Adam. Perhaps he has ar
rived at this conclusion from the fact that there
were no cranks in those days to throw banana
skins on the sidewalks and water didn't freeze on
the pavement with the slippery side up.--Norrts-
torn Herald.
JACK McDoNALD, who trained Heenan for
his prize fights in England, nearly quarter OF
century ago. is now needy hangeron at London
places of sporting mons resort. Tho Courier
Journal wants to know whether it isn't about time
for the American people to chip in and buy Mr..
Mcdonald gin mill
DOES it pay" asks o correspondent for
n minister to take three months vacation %
Does it2 Well, we should say So There are
some churches of which we wot Of, where we
think 1t would pay the pastor 10 take about thir-
teen months vacation every year, and then put or
coming back to the last minute, with hope Of
missing the train --Hdtckeye.
THERE'S something wrong about this. The
law allows a minister only 81 for marrying q
couple, while the lawyer who divorces the samd
people gets anywhere from $40 to 81 900 The law
yer If he is a man of honor, should divide with
the parson since 1t is plain that he would lose his
fat fee If In the first place the preacher didn't make
up his case by marrying the client Hdtoseuc.
AS GOVERNOR of the state of New York,
Cornell was successful stock trader. His famous
blind pool put matter Of quarter of million
cessfl In Wall street operations. His recent 1T
tie whirl in the stock market has cost him the
tire profits of the blind pool, from which it would
appear that pool and its money are soon parted.
Chicago Times
LAST Monday the Queen county hounds
had another meet near Newport, and the hunters
chased the aniseseed bag the plain with great
enthusiasm. After the hunt large numbers of HIS
were gathered up from the ground, which had
al. Nr...l.
are, as class greatly exasperated because they
were not born in England Still, IL is sweet boon
even to ride horse behind an aniseseed bag
Hdukeye.
CETYwAYo is not dead, after ALL The in-
surgents simply slugged him, went through his
pants pockets, and left him to read the news
paper obituaries of himself at the breakfast table
next morning. Inasmuch as the press handled
| the old gentleman with kindliness bordering
upon pathos, 1t is surmised he made a grave mis-
take in not insisting upon his assailants' COM
pleting their job by cutting his miserable black
throat. Chicago News.
A WISCONSIN woman has invented labor
saving machine for the benefit of bees, and the
| little honey makers of her acquaintance are en-
| abled to improve the shining hours to much
greater advantage than bees less kindly favored.
| A sheet of wax run through the machine is in
dented in exact imitation OF honeycomb, and
| Wneu plaCeu III Tue HlNeS tue WOTkeES nave
nothing to do but to gather sweets enough to fill
| the ready made receptacles.
THE Spanish have proverb, "The man
| who stumbes twice on the Same stone is a fool"
| There may be something very profound in that,
| but we fail to see 1t. We can't see why one good
stone, that will outast dozen lifetimes, isn't just
as good for man to do all his stumbling over as O
great expensive collection of miscellaneous stones
80 widely scattered that a lost car agent couldn't
-.NT. A.. rt.
| well meaning people, but you can't expect very
much of a people who spell Hosay with q w.
Haukeye.
WHAT "the poor mans COW" is to Ameri-
can cities aud rabbits to Australian farmers is
the goat to Cyprus. The supply Of tomato cans
and circus bills the island being inadequate to
the support of the innumerable goats there, the
odorous pests are obliged TO subsst on the bark Of
trees and so far have their rayages spread that
nearly al the trees have been killed. With char
aoteristic doggedness tho owner of the goat re-
fuses to give him up, and as there are so many
goat owners on the island restrictive legislation
Is well nigh impossible.
NEWPORT, says Life, is city about which
no two authorities agree 1t is claimed by one
distinguished American writer that II is "the cen
ter of refinement fashion, intelligence and
wealth" Another, equally eminent, declares 1t
to be "shoddy, pinchbeck, and greasy. with newly
acquired and vugarly used wealth" One noted
English critic, who feted there last year, says
that Newport is the heaven Of the toady and the
snob" while Frenohman who had similar expe'
rlenco declares 1t to be the Mecca Of the rich who
can be worshiped for .nothing but their wealth
correspondent Of the London Globe says: 1T is
the paradise of two sets Of foosthe gilded clique
who spend tens of thousands IN the effort to out
shine their neighbors, and the obsequtous clique
that beggRrs itself for the privilege OF witnessing
the pitiful contest"
THE Chicago Netrs has information that
Senator Tom Bowen, of Colorado, has made a
neat little raise by selling his San Juan mine to
New York syndicate for triae less than 100000
He has been hard up for a long time, although,
for the past three years, prospechyely rich man.
Only month ago Denver citizen was mildly
complaining because he had to pay note ofS2 500
which he had indorsed for Bowen. There is a
good deal of rot and poppycock in all the talk
about the wealth of the Colorado bonanza kings
During the senatorial struggle last winter the foul
candidates-Tabor Bowen Harnill, and Pitkln =
were compelled to borrow money Of the First
National bank in order to make their cRnvAsses
| ana the sums borrowed did not altogether exceed
5 $4,000. Yet Tabor alone alleged that his pre-
1 llminary maneuYsIs had cost him close on e
s25O000,