Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1883-04-07
Two Heads Under Water.

d.
Horace Gardell, q colored man with .
mile like that of a four-months-old calf,
put his head in a bucket of water at
Eighth and Lombard streets, Philadel-
phia, and o q charming little mulatto
wife. The peculiar way in which he
gained her vas owing to the fact that a
bitter contest had been going on for her
hand for several months between himself
and George Smith, a colored gentleman
Of a peculiarly olive-white tint, who lives
on Dugan street, above Pine, and hawks
bottles and rags for a living.
On Sunday last the men came to the
conclusion that it would be as we'll to
have the matter fixed up, once for all.
Gardell was especially c1amorous, as he
had just inherited eighty dollars from the
estate of a deceased aunt and wanted
some n to help spend it. On the other
hand, Smith tried to counterbalance this
by representing that he was manipulating
for a corner in the rag and bottle market,
or something of that sort, and would soon
net several dollars. Miss Tack, dressed
in red and green, with blue feathers "to
match," told the pair frankly that they
were equally ravishing to her eyes and
that she could not for the life of her de-
eide which to marry.
"Set us some task" exclaimed Smith.
LET US prove to you in a tangible way
that we love you. Then the man who
proves the stangiblest' a be your hus-
band"
Gardell assented, but demanded that
the task should have no reference to bot
ties or rags, with which, he said, he was
by no means familiar. Then Smith pro-
posed that the fishing profession predilec-
tions, with which the other man is iden-
titled, should be excluded. Gardell, who
once worked for a diver, suggested that
the man who could swim under the Della
ware for a mile or 80 without breath
ing should have the prize. Smith dis
sented, on the ground that this had some-
thing to do with fishing. Finally, the
men got down to buckets of water, and
the terms of the contest, as it wa held,
were formally put and carried by the
following vote: Ayes-Nettie Tack and
Gardell; no-Smith. When they reached
the arena they ranged themselves round
the buckets and the clergyman stood
near, ready to marry any one to anybody.
"Time?" roared the Rev. Josiah IT.
wing.
In a second two woolly heads were
ducked into the buckets. After fifty sec
onds Smith began to squirm and wriggle
as if severely tried. At ffty-three sec
onds Smith withdrew his skull from the
water and five second later Gardell did
the same.
"Bravo! You've got herr" shrieked
the crowd with one voice.
But it was not so. There were to be
three rounds, with one minute interval,
and the man who kept his head under
longest wa to be the winner.
"Down again!" wa beloved out this
time by Rev. Thomas Chain, and the
heads popped under a second time with
two separate splashes. Smith pulled and
blew horribly and kicked out Justify,
hurting the prospective bride considera-
bly,. He made fifty seconds and Gardell
forty-nine. Things we're getting excit-
ing and very many of the spectators
could hardly contain themselves.
"Time! Put 'em underl' once more
yelled Rev. Josiah Irving, and down went
the heads. Gardell seemed rather blown,
but he made forty-two second against
forty to Smith, who came up almost
dead. 1t was really a "walk-over" for
the Baltimorean, and Smith felt so mis-
erably that he said nothing. The win
ner, however, was dried and patted on
the back. Then his clerical seconder
got up and solemnly pronounced the
marriage ceremony, binding Miss Nettie
Tack and Mr.. Horace Gardell together
for life.
The winning party took a late train to
Baltimore, where the laurel and orange
blossom-crowned victor is a stevedore.
The unfortunate and defeated one skunk
off, Smith declaring that he never wanted
the BRIDES hand; that he could have
won it if he had chosen, and that the
whole thing was done for fun. "But it
will make talk in Lombard street." said
no - Prooo