davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-08-29
A VOLTS Dislike for Music.

IL is well known that domestic dogs
dislike music, but the hatred o. il
seems to be much str, niger IN II wolf
Dogs become familiar with il, and have
learned to endure it ; but to the wolf IL
IS intllcrable. IL would be well or
those who live in countries info ted by
wo YES to arm them elves with some
loud-sounding musical instrument. rs
the following anecdote woul | suggest
a Scotch bagpiper was travelling in
Ireland, when he encountered n wolf,
which seemed TO be very ravenous. The
poor man could think of no other way
to save his life than to open his wallet
and try the effect of hospitality. He
did so and the savage beast swallowed
all that was thrown to him with such
voracity that il seemed as If his appe.
title was not in the least degree satisfied
The whole stock of provision was, o
course, soon spent. and now the man 5
only resource was in the virtue of his
bagpipe. This the monster no sooner
heard than lie took to the mountains as
suddenly as he had left them. The
poor piper did not wholly enj his dc.
liverance, for. looking sadl at his
empty wallet, he shook his fist at the
departing animal, saying; "Ayl are
these your tricksp Had / known your
humor, you should have had your music
before your supper. "-Harper's yens"
People.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-08-29


ain the island of st. Martin, West
Indies" says the boss liar, at is quite
the fashion for men to carry snake
stick or cane. These sticks are made
out of single snake, frozen and
twisted into any desirable shape.
One day / dropped into the Office of
the u. s. consul, and soon afterwards
the Governor and several other gen
tlemen arrived. We were engaged
in heated discussion when we were
startled by a kissing sound, and, turn
ing, discovered all of our sticks, which
we had placed in corner of the
room, wiggling mass of snakes. The
warmth of our discussion had thawed
them out. While we were discussing
what we should do, those snakes be-
gan demolishing each other, and soon
the largest one swallowed the smaller
one, until only two were left. We
sent over to the factory for man to
come and get them to be frozen over.
Just then they. began fighting again,
and soon the one swallowed the other,
and there was only single snake
left. We fell to disputing as to who
owned him, when he suddenly turned
his head, eyed us in solemn kind of
way, winked his left optic, and, coil
ing around, placed his tail in his
mouth, and, before we suspected what
he was about, he swallowed himself.
When the man arrived from the fac.
tory with canvass bag, all he found
was damp spot ON the oor."-Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-08-29
Getting Information Under Difficulties.

II do not see any peculiarly about
your people," said IN Eastern Judge,
addressing his travelling companion, a
well known Arkansas lawyer. Il have
travelled quite extensively in this State,
and have not, rs yet, found that &C.
centricity of action and preyarication of
reply that has often amused me in the
newspapers.
You have done most of your travel
ing by rail-" the lawyer replied. This
is your first trip away from the main
roads, is it notP"
yes
"Well, I'll show YOU some Of our
genuine natives. Yonder Is a house
Call the landlord and hold u convcrsa-
ton with him."
"Hallo!" called the Judge.
"Comin'!' the man replied, deposit
ing child in the doorway, and advance
ing.
CLOVIS all the folks?"
"Children's hearty; wife's not we'll
Amt what you might call bed-sick, but
Jest sortcr strctchy.'
Got anything to eat in the house?'
"Ef l had it anywhar, I'd have it it
in the house.
"How many children have youp"
"Many Us | want
How many did YOU want?'
want hankcrin' arier powerful
chance, but I'm satisfied"
''How long have you been living
hercpn
TOO long
GLOW many years?'
Been here ever since my oldest boy
was born
what year was he born?'
"Thc year come here"
"How old is your boyp"
"Ef he had lived, he would have been
the oldest until yit; but, as he died, Jim $
the Oldest
How old is Jim?'
"He amt as old as the one what
died"
well, how old was the one that
died?"
He was older than Jim"
what do you do here for a living?"
Eat"
"IIow do you get anything to eatP'
"The best way we kin.
GLOW do you spend your Srndaysp"
Like the week days.
"IIow do you spend thcm?'
like Sundays"
"Is that your daughter yonder?'
mo, sir; she amt my daughter yon-
der, nor nowhar' else"
''Is she n relative of yours?"
"No, sir; no kin"
kin TO your wife, suppose"
mo kin to my wife, but she's kin to
my children"
"How do you make that out?'
"She's my wife"
"How far is it to the next housep'
1T is called three miles, but the man
what calls il that IL u liar.
eve got enough said the Judge,
turning to the lawyer. ''Drive on.
pity the man who depends on this man
for information. -drkdnSdW Trdreicr.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-08-29
The Polar stream or Newfoundland.

The report of the temperature OF the
Atlantic brought by the German steamer
Katie recently is of special interest rs
showing the changes going ON this sea-
son in the gulf stream and its opposing
Arctic current. On the 10Th Of April,
when about forty miles south of the
southermost edge of the Newfoundland
banks latitude AZ degrees 26 minutes,
longitude 80 degrees 26 minutos), this
steamer passed several icebcrgs, finding
the weather very cold and the tempera-
ture of the sea 80 degrees. This is IN
exceptionally low temperature Of the
water to be observed so far south al
most at the close of April. Even allow
ing that il was partly due TO the proX-
unity of icebcrgs il seems 10 indicate
that the glacial Labrador current is now
protruding farther south than usual and
crowding the gulf stream out of its
wontcd spring course. The enormous
volume of polar ice-laden water flowing
over the banks must exert a powerful
influence both on the movement and
the temperature of the stream against
which il impinges, especially since the
deep floating iccbergs, rs DIR. Carpenter
points out, bring this influence to bear
directly on the lower strata of the warm
current. So great is the southwark
sweep of the heavy glacial current that
when the buoy attached to the broken
end of the Atlantic cable of 1865 got
adrift il was found TO have Travelled
presumably by the action of the
pended in it) nearly due south n dis
lance of six hundred miles in seventy
six days in opposition to the gulf stream.
AS proof of the remarkable changes OF
the limits of the stream in various sea-
sons Admiral Irminger states that 1.-THE
warm waters between the Bcrmudas
and Halifax in February lSH', had n
width of 40 miles, but in may oi the
same year of 800 miles while "in June
1847, they were in about the same place
lac miles across"
The expansion OF the area of 10y water
off Newfoundland which explains tie
contradiction of the water current, has
a marked influence on the weather over
the banks. Cyclones in traversing the
cold ocean have their humid winds so
chilled that their vapor is more rapidly
condensed, and hence the pressure in
their centre is reduced and their inten-
sity augmented. But the chief effect Of
the cold water area is, when swept by
southwcstcrly winds saturated with
moisture, to condensc their vapor into
dense fog, the seaman's chief foe. La
mont records striking instance of the
reproducing power OF cold water
when catching in the suniit, CLASSY seas
of Nova Zembla, he observed with the
springing up of southwest breeze the
sudden formation of dense fog. The
dry winter winds on the Newfoundland
banks are replaced this month by the
moist southwest winds, and if Gas the
observations of the German steamer
referred to and other recent records in
dicate) there is now an unusual extern
sion of the polar stream, the coming
summer may rival that of 1881 for fogs.
1t is to be earnestly hoped, therefore,
that the crowded European steamships
will this season give the banks wide
berth. ~ u HerdH
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-08-29
ALPENA WEEKLY ARGUS.
MISCELLANEOUS.
TAKE MY ADYICE.

take my adv CO." the young min siii,
by dreams of future greatnt So led
Nor list To those who wOul suggest
A welded life as surely best
For all mans nd, and saw tn you:
Enough for one $ en- lugh for twoP
And urge you with attractive lure
A worthy helpmect To sc 'uro.
" take my advice, nor sp Ill your lifo
BY taking TO yourself n wife,
And all the matrimonial cares
A husband and n inthcr shares.
untrammclod, You may wander whGro
Your fancy c lis, as free rs air;
But It's not easy To unloOsc,
Or 81 ght tho matrim Dnial nooss.
Take my advice live single, till
Your pans and projects you fulfill,
And from the worlds extended plain
A harvest reap of golden grain.
Then with fortune well &c cured,
Your future happiness assured,
IT'S time enough TO settle down
With Just the incest wife In town."
Take my advice" thu old MN said,
From whom the dreams of youth had ficd.
And who decided late in life
To [ ike unto himself wife;
De not bcguiled by those who press
The claims OF single blessedness,
And urge you TO postpone till late
The troubles OF the married state.
use I to think famo could not light
Her torch, or point the way Alright,
III fircside Joys, domestic cares,
Were to ambition fatal snures.
schooled my heart and trained my mind
To follow in the path assigned,
And meant to end rs began,
moneycd AMI Unmarried man.
" But. an the nc irt though well controlled,
Will lose it, appetite for gold,
And thirst for swcet joys in life
The love of children and of wife.
The ties feared might drag me down
From heights of fortune and renown
Had boon, had but lived Alright,
An inspiration and delight.
"For wcdlock IL the true estate,
And he does well 10 choose his mate
When 10th are young, that both may DO
In perfect, hearty sympathy;
Growing alike from year to year,
Till one most truly they appear.
Life without Love = a harp unstrungl
Take my advice and marry young"
-IosephfRc Pollard, IN ~ Z. Ledger.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-08-29
Remains Unsettled.

A well-known minister exchanged
pulpits with an interior preacher the
other day, and the town preacher de-
clares that while he is willing to strug-
gle for the suppression of sin, he is
not willing to distribute gospel facts
to a congregation Of such polemic in
clination. During the sermon man
whose most prominent feature of
wardrobe was a checked shirt with
wooden buttons arose and said:
"Cap'n, wush you'd reshuck that
last pint! r.
81 don't understand you," replied
the preacher.
81 Ak you let out your back hand
a little on that last statement"
"My friend, l am totally in the
dark as to your meaning"
"You said that Enoch went to
heaven in a chariot of fire. Strip a
little more of the bark off and let me
understand the timber better. A
chariot is a sort of wagon, amt itY'
eyes," replied the preacher.
"Was it a two-horse or a single-horse
wagon ?"
81 can't tell"
"Wall, you must tell. Some time
ago fellow driv wagin over one Of
my hogs and killed him and when |
fetched up a suit, | couldn't tell
whether it was one or two-horse
wagin, and consequently didn't re.
kiver damages. Since then Use been
very careful. So, | want this chariot
business settled, right here"
my poor friend"
81 know I'm poor, without enough
corn to run me through the next crap
but settle the wagin question"
81 say that the chariot makes nc
difference, so far as our interest in
heaven is concerned. All we need tC
know about it is that it assembled NJ
to the home prepared for the bliss O.
the servants of the Lord"
"That talk sounds well enough
pardner, but when man comes into
this neighborhood with pints, he's 60
to specify. If you say the wagin haC
two horses, we'll accept your state
ment and let your business 60 on, OIL
it will be the same if you say that thu
vehicle only had one boss. All w
want to know is that the thing ha
been settled. Can you square the diff
ficulty, Cap'n?"
81 cannot"
"Then come from behind the box.
The minister obeyed and the question
remains Observation-Disclosures Trav
eler.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-08-29
Fine Job Printing

The ARGUS Office is replete with the
best assortment Of material in all
Northern Michigan, for doing
Superior work, and we can
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-08-29
"WhO Am /, Anyway 2"

A short time ago, says the Salt
Lake Tribune, bright looking Dan
ish boy stepped into lawyers office,
and said:
81 want you to tell me who | am, +"
laying a 50 bill on the desk at the
same time.
The lawyer, peeping alternately at
the boy and at the 50 bill, shaking
his head, replied:
ut seems you are funny boy"
"Not funny at all. You will find
it a very serious matter"
"Well, 60 ahead and explain it,"
about twenty years ago wealthy
Danish lady, being a widow, came
over to this country with her two
daughters. There was a Norwegian
and his boy. The father married the
widows daughters. One year after,
the Norweigian's boy married the
wealthy widow. The result of that
marriage was another boy, and if |
am sure am that boy. The Nor
weigian's boy died. The Danish
widow was a widow again, but the old
Norwegian married her too. After
that the old lady died, and one year
ago the old gentleman too, after he
had made himself the owner of the
third wife's property. Now, when |
claimed that property, my sister said !:
Stop, you can't be the heir at all !!
You are our late husbands grand
child. BY her marriage with him
you became your mothers grandchild,
too, and after she died we became
your mothers, and you never can in
herit the property before we are dead.
That's what my sister mothers say,
but l think that can't be right, and
there must be some mistake in poly
gamy. Now, sir, please to tell me
what l am-who | am"
The lawyer, thrusting his chin into
his neck, answered pathetically, "You
are polygamistake !"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-08-29
Venetian Lnce.Makcrs.

The celebrated lace of Venice is made
by the wives and daughters of the
wrctched fishermen on the islands and
along the coast, and the low prices YOU
can get il ut. if you have skill enough
in bargaining, comes from the fact that
skilled woman can only earn from
three to four cents for long day
work. They have been educated in it
for generations, and there is no pattern,
no matter how intricate and beautiful,
but what they can reproduce.
The patterns and materials are fur
nished them by the great houses in the
city, and they get fixed price for the
labor, which is accomplished between
the intervals of cleaning and sailing the
fish which their husbands and fathers
bring in their boats. There is no time
fixed for the delivery of a piece of work,
unless II be some great expensive arti-
Gle for royal wedding, and those es-
pecial orders are accomplished in the
few factories where women arc en-
ployed regularly. The trade in laces,
rs that in almost everything else that
has any enterprise in It, is in the hands
of the Jews who wax rich in supplying
this beautiful vanity to the outside
world. ID. r. Locke, IN Toledo Blade.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-08-29

marine mountain is covered with
shells, like an ordinary sea beach,
showing that it is the eating house of
vast schools of carniverous animals.
A Goldfish takes whole oyster in its
mouth, cracks the shells, digests the
meat, and spits out the rest. Crabs
crack the shells and suck out the
meat. In that way come whole
mounds of shells that are dredged up.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-08-29

Posters, Handbills, Circulars, Letter &
Note Heads, Bill Heads, Statements,
Invitations, Programs, Envelopes,
Cards, Blanks, Blank Books,
ETC., etc.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1883-08-29

Richard Laprise, of Lowell, Mass,
sixty years old, Is i'll from the effects of
teething; He was taken sick few days
ago and sent for a doctor, when IL was
discovered that four new upper front
teeth were growing; the oil ones left
his service years ago.-Boston Post.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1883-12-02

Lake Tahoe Stages arrive and depart
nom this House.
The weekly Elko independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1872-1887, 1883-05-20
From F,idsy's Daily.
sALMAouNDr.

M # g.
Mr. NJ. GIazier. Of Peko. Ia in town
to-day ON business.
A valuable horse of Tom Atwen's
died at T~usearora Tuesday night.
II. F. Hsrold. q passenger on Tues
days train west, was arrested at Reno
on a warrant telesraphed from Ogden.
He is charged with forgery.
John L. Allen and wife, OF Battle
mountain. have been arrested on a
charge of arson, the warrant having
been sworn out by L. NJ. Push, Of
Lewis.
The Oil City Derrick dislikes tho
new word "dude" and thinks the older
form, squirt, more appropriate. An
other paper thinks fool about covers
the case, whilc a third thinks the good
old biblical term, lass" is better.
The Times-Review ssys: Tom.
Holmes has a force Of nen at work re-
pairing the road between Carlin and
Tusearora. With the exception of one
or two places it is in good condition at
the present time. Two loaded teams
came through that way yesterday.
A couple of large boilers. smoke
stack. steam drum and furnace COM
pletc, arrived here by She train this
morning and were discharged from the
cars by Warner & Co. The outfit has
been in use in Virginia City and was
purchased by tho Navajo Company for
service on or about their mines in rus-
carora. The machinery will be for.
wardcd moth by teams Immediately.
The Sentinel says: Hermann Bern
ard, who passed through here from
Hamilton to the @. p. Monday night,
but who tarried with us several days,
left several anxious inquirers behind
him. one creditor wanting sixty dollars
and another the value of q suit of
clothes. He was arrested yesterday at
Palisnde, but having nothing, he was
allowed 10 so on his way without fur
Their interference.
Yesterday, says the Reno Gazette, a
religious crank held forth at the stock
yards on the railroad near town. He
seemed to think he had n largo crowd
Of listeners, whom he urged to "iako
up the cross and follow him, as he
was specially commissioned to mako
the people OF Reno decent. lie will
probably get q job on the road II he
fools around here much. A heavenly
messenger would mix in with other
tramps very well.
The weekly Elko independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1872-1887, 1883-05-20
scoops tho EnKcry.

Reno, a few days ngo, opened The
monstrosity show wiuha string Of linked
f%elinos. and tho Comstock, Boon after,
went the club" one better on an
amazingly complex canine; but Eureka
now chips in and takes the pot with the
most prcpostcrous Of pups. Wcro the
facts respecting this wonderful produo-
ton braced mp by less woighiy author.
ity than the Sentiuci-G y]irtuous Dem
ocratic journal-tho whole story might
reasonably DO regarded as n rabid Ro-
publican lilo. As described by tho Rfors-
said journal the ''purp'' is colorod sky
blue. There is nothing Of II beyond tho
foro legs. In front of these legs the
skin. all furnished with natural hair,
is in place a. though no head or neck
were intended. In other words, the pup
onds squIrcly in front ut the Ghost nnd
shoulders. Strange to say, tho missing
neck and head como ont from tho sido
OF Tho body, just behind tho loft fore
icki uuh iHibt AlhlD1t ulItCly DRok 10
whore tho tail ought to DO. This head
tthero arc two hoads) is rcguInr in
shape and provided with Two bright
eyes. Tho moustrous little pup terri-
mates 10 the rear rs in front, no tail or
anything Of the sort; nothing but a
rounded surfsco Of skin, we'll covered
with hair. just in front OF the left hind
leg, back Of tho ribs, thoro appears the
second head Of the animal, perfoeti Ia
nll respects This head projects toward
the other, aud ~ tho two hoads np
proach Hnd tho two pair Of eyes arc
seen gazing ut each other, tho qucc'
spectacle gives tho impression that
ihoro are two separate pups. as init
mated. tho little monster eyss not con.
stituied to live, and It died a few houts
after Il was born.
The weekly Elko independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1872-1887, 1883-05-20

Henry Willard is on his way from the
West to New York. He said the North
ern Pacific would certainly be COM
pieted by September LIST, and that tho
first train would certainly run over the
road about that time. Tho whole line
will be opened for business soon after.
But 225 miles OF road remains to be
completed; the whole line is graded,
oil the ties distributed and everything
ready for the rails. Willard was jubi-
liant over the conditian Of crops. He
says the surplus crop that will be
raised in eastern Oregon and Washing
ington Territory this year will amount
to 200, coo tous. In Dakota the acorSgo
would be double what it was iaat year.
The weekly Elko independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1872-1887, 1883-05-20
IRON wednesday. D.ily.I
sALMAoUaDu.

Arrived by stage from TuseArora last
evening: John Fitzgerald. John Leseh,
J p Henry. J A Banks. Departed thiI
morning: II II FredehckS. D Bibero
A Jury has just been secured at Rome
before whom the Savings Bank en-
b~ezzlement case will 30 tried. Judge
Rising. Of Virginia City. presides.
The Carson Appeal announces most
positively and emphatically that scar.
let fever nor any other epidemic di.
is not now known anywhere in
or about the State Capital.
John w. Williams arrived at Ogden
from Red Blnf. Montana. yesterday.
The Pilot says he will leave for this
place in a day or two. He has been eI-
pected here since the LIST instant.
At Butte City. Monday night q man
named William Miller. 20 years Of age,
fell down the SD aft Of the Original mine
q distance OF 400 feet. He was instantly
killed and his body fearfully mangled.
every bone seemingly being broken.
This morning Billy Simpson re.
moved the old photograph building.
formerly on Railroad street next to
Walter Chase's. TO the vacant lot ad-
jacent to Dorsey's stable. where he ia
fitting the house up and rendering II
tenable.
The latest rumor relative TO resuming
operations on the Nevada & Oregon,
says the Journal, is that trains will be
put or Juno LIST, and that Manning.
Berry and BSlch will DO the lessees.
The Santa Cruz will be fixed up at
the v. & T. shops.
At tho City Of Mexico Monday. Gen
eral Pacheco. Minister Of Public Works
gave O grand banquet to President
Nickerson CT the Mexican Central
Railroad. General Diaz and many
leading officials and citizens were pres
ent. The speeches were highly COM
plimentary to the railroad management
of the United States.
Henry L. Hudson, spirituAlistio
writer and versifer, is hold in S2,S
bail on the charge Of robbing the cash
Ter Of the Inga!s House OF JeweIry, etc.
In the possession OF Hudson was a
complete set OF burglars tools. Frsd
Metcalfe. Hudson's partner, was also
held. Metcalfe is "a years old, and with
tho exception Of nine months. has teen
jail continuously since he Hss ~
years Old.
Warner & Co. to-day forwarded to
Tu~scSrors, by fast freight, $500 lbs
merchandise. and by Il. Yates team,
G 800 lbs do.