Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1883-05-10
No. 25.
DRAW POKER.
Mrs. SpOOpendyke's knowledge of the
Game.
lOur Society.

Game.
Our Society,"
Now, my DEAR" said Mr.. Spoopendyke,
shuffiing the cards and dividing the checkers
into two equal piles; suppose we play
little game OF poker. Do you know how to
play poker?"
Il guess so," replied Mrs. Spoopendyke,
hitching up her chair and dusting the top of
the table with towel.
Nov, how many cards do you want ~
Let me think" fluttered Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. Let's see. I believe I'll take ten."
Better take a gross" !" snorted Mr. Spoop-
endyke, eyeing her wrathfully. Perhaps
you'd like half barrel! Don't you know
you can't draw but five? If you've got any
bad cards. throw 'em away and I'll give you
you can stand pat. Do you want to stand
pat ??
Il guess So" sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke,
helplessly. IF 1 stand pat, do l play the
eight or the queen? 2"
''You don't play either" replied Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, helping himself to five cards and
drawing couple of kings. Now, it's my
bet. l bet two; what do you bet ?"
Then l bet two," answered Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, frightening up as she began to see
her way clear. Il bet queen and an eight"
and she laid them down with confidence.
THAT calls my hand" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, gleefully, only you don't bet your
cards; you bet your ceckers Put in two
heckers and show your cards."
Mrs. Spoopendyke showed her checkers
into the middle of the table and laid down
three eights and a pair of queens.
"Whered you get 'em 2" roared Mr. Spoop-
endyke, recognizing his defeat "What'd we
want to keep talking about the three Of
eights and the two of queens? Why didn't
you tell me you had full hand ?'
"You gave them to me-" returned Mrs
Spoopendyke, dolefully. Il only mad those
five What does it do?"
1T makes jack pot ~ growled Mr.. opoop
endyke, seeing a chance for himself in his
wites utter ignorance of the game. Now
we've each got to put in one checker, just
because you played in that way"
''Im sorry, dear" cooed Mrs. Spoopendyke,
rather pleased with the idea of getting out
of the scrape at any expense. And yet /
might have known it would have made it
jack pop, if had stopped to think"
when you stop to think, you only want
a stick of chewing gum and a rat-trap to be
female seminary! Do you know what
jack pot is Got some kind of a notion that
haven't ye? Well, it isn't, and it isn't to sit
there and grin at either 1t takes pair of
jacks or something as good as them to open
it. Now, take these cards and tell me
whether you open it or not"
Mrs. Soopendyke examined her cards crit
ically.
What have you got? demanded Mr..
Spoopendyke.
His wife laid down four aces and a jack.
Mr.. Spoopendyke glanced at the hand
and then at his own cards His ace was on
ly the Joker, which he had forgotten to re-
move from the pack.
(Which opens it 2" inquired Mrs. Spooen-
dyke, watching the gathering storm with
some trepidation.
Nothing opens it!' yelled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, dashing his cards to the floor With
your way of playing it, it would take q
steam oyster-knife to open it! How'd ye
think it was opened-with night key?
Got an idea that it has hinges, haven't pc,
and opens widest when it has nothing to say,
like your mouth ?"
Must bet my last cent now?' faltered
Mrs Spoopendyke, profoundly impressed
with idea that the game was still going on.
"Ive got four dollars, but l want one for
wiggin. Shall bet the other three 2"
Bet 'em ~ bawled Mr.. Spoopendyke, who,
like great many men, regarded the idea OF
his wife beating him at anything as some
thing intolerably blaphemous. why don't
ye bet? Bring forth the speculative three
dollars and hazard it on the four triumphant
aces Wah-h-h-hw and the conclusion of
Mr.. Spoopendyke's speech flew out to fast for
perfect enunciation.
81 don't care" murmured Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, as she wound the clock, and stood
scratching her nose with the key; 'he told
me that four aces were as good as the jack
pot, and when 1 opened it, he said l was
wrong. Another time I'll put them in my
pocket, and he can play away at that jack
pot until he's bald before I'll help him get it
open."
And with this riotous determination Mrs.
Spoopendyke crawled into be and dreamed
that She had got caught in jack pot with
spring lock to it, and couldn't get out be-
cause she had left the four aces in the pocket
of her new plum-colored silk.