The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-10-13
HAVE A POLITIC.
Bob Burdette's Advice to Young
Men Of Political Aspirations.

Be something. young man. II none
OF the existing parties satisfy you.
organize one OF your OVID, and go
"sloshing around.'' But nave pol.
tito. Institute war cry. View with
alarm and point with pride on your
own hook. Tut do view and point. If
you are very vigorous you may alec
at times "recoil with horror" You
will find this very affective toward the
close OF the campaign. II l had time,
my son, l believe could fit you out
with full and complete assortment
OF tools. weapons and armor for poll
tics.
| You should have, at the opening OF
the campaign, beside the matters al
ready mentioned:
One dozen kegs OF nails. wherewiih
to nail the enemy's lies. Shrek every
time you nail lie Down with the
Mormons.
A few judicial lies to toss around
carelessly and not too early, just to
keep tham busy. Shout when you
scatter them. Say something mean
about the Mormons.
4 few ''demsnds' for things that
We already have. and have had for
fifty years. Nobody will notice this
If yon Only yell them out Justify, aus
with the air Of man who ia saving
comet hing new. The older the de
mand" the louder you must yell what
you maks it. Demand" especially
that the Mormons be suppressed
Some pledges" more or less.
Pledge yourself to something easy
the abolition of Mormoyism, the abo-
litiouS of slavery and uno!eldirg oppo-
eition to the payment Of the Confedtr-
ate bonds of the State OF Ohio. Roar
about it, and give it to the Mormons
red hot.
Remember the soldiers. This is
eminently proper, patriotic and
cheap. 'Twon't COST you q cent.
Stand upon the house tops, and in
loud voice call them "the defenders
OF the Republic" and declare that
they shall have their rights. Along
near the close of the campaign you
must also promise them their lefts.
That's what they'll get anyhow, but
you needn't say anything about that.
| Keep az noisy az possible and howl:
"The Mormons must COL"
Arraign the administration Oh!
every time arraien the administration.
And q common arraignment will not
do. If any platform contain not
scsthing arraia q nent of the admins
tration the same is q liar and horse
thief, be the same more or Less. II,
unfortunately, you are on the side of
the administration, then you must
arra:gn the other party. But you
labor under great disadvantage IL
you are in with the administrator. 1,
lie 30 much easies to stand in the
street and throw stones ct the window
than to stand in the window and
throw stones into the street..
Blessed be- the opposition. Because
why? You're liable TO run out oil
stones. There are no stones in the
thouse, whereas the street ia full oil
'em, and the man In the window
! can't throw until the man in the
street has first fired rock at him.
And il it go be that the first dornick
catches him in the eye his case il
distressing; or if 1t be that while he il
stopping to pick up the first stone the
man in the street fires half q dozen
more at bis STOPPING figure then il
the last state OF the man in the house
worse than the first. "Holler" q!
loud as you throw fast, and let thu
Mormons have it all the time.
| For the reasons set forth above
never fight On the defensive. Away
keep going up and down like rsgini
lion. seeking where you may investi
gate SOMEBODY. "You haven
taught me any Of the parries," said {
young soldier to an old Prussian fenc
ling.master. "Parries be -" Il hav,
forgotten the Prussisn for that word
replied the old mustache. "Yor
shrust; let the old fellow parry" Lay
Iit on to the Mormons, every lick.
By oil means have Q slogan. NJ
party is equipped for contest until il
has . slogan.
| In some wards you will want slo.
gan that holds q quart.
! Down with the Mormons, remem-
Der. And talk loud.
| Pat civil-servios reform on the
back. Remember that, in the hands
LOT the administration, it ia q mere in
strument of partisan tyranny and
nepotism, an objec. of selfish ambi-
ton and base personal greed; but in
lyour hands and those ofyour rela-
ltives by conssnguinsity, marriage
and adoption. public citation would be
| O place of hooor and honesty, capac-
Iity and fidelity. and constitute the
only valid claims to public indorse.
ment. And right here, oh how you
can seattle the Mormons!
| In regard to tine tariff. denounce
Mormonism "a a scandal and re-
proach, that is breeding a demorali-
zation from its foul and fostering
chaEs, that ia fesid with rank corrup-
! ton, that threatens to pollute the en-
tire system o! the grandes! govern.