National Republican., 1883-10-03

I
either side while every few yards VIC passed
! fountains that spouted forth streams of bser
and lemonade.
"Oh, how DREADFUL" exclaimed q horror
stricken passenger.
VERY dreadful" replied the tall gaunt
man. with smile of approval. I'VE didn't
drink. The veiled lady and the hideous
Chinaman next conducted me to the foot of
and endless ladder up which we climbed for
seven hours, finally stepping of into
forest, the trees of which grew to an
astonishing height Upon the top of each
was an elephant, and every bright par
ticular beast held in his trunk q portrait
of the girl loved whom a kid, the adorable
object Of my puppy love. The woods were
filled with n soft, sweet melody, but as we
proceeded dark, deep holes or pits began to APP
pear all about us, from which flames of fire
apd volumes of sulphurous smoke arose, and
nt intervals Of few seconds hands, feet,
and distorted countenancos were thrust at
us, and cultural oaths and foul epthets
could be heard 1 told my attendants
that / was tired and wished to rest.
We sat down upon bench, which
Immediately arose to height of ten miles,
when 1t began falling at terrific rate of
speed. Our descent was made pleasant by
innumerable owls with red wings, and eagles,
with monkeys heads, flying about us, crack
ing jokes and repeating the shorter cate
chism. When we reached terra frma it
turned out TO bo an island in midocean--a
barren rock. inhabited by snakes,
lizards, and ducks. Each of the latter
played upon Jews harp, while
the snakes brought us biscuits and cheese,
which they held in their forked tails. At
this point went to sleep, and when awoko
found myself astride of n horse which ooul
talk. The animal informed mo that his
name was Bucephaus.
after travelling long distance we came
in sight Of an immense crowd of people, ami
mails, and reptiles--perhaps 10,OOO-of all
kinds and oreeds. In the first group we came
to were Napoleon Bonaparte, Senator Lap
ham, Prince Bismarck, and Perry Carson,
who were engaged in social game of draw,
with n copy Of Schenck's rules on the ground
near by. Tho next parsonage was
tho queen of England on q bicycle, riding
around amidst tho crowd, trying to pass a sill
yer quarter which had been perforated. A
score or moro of Sicilian BARRIERS were lather-
ing and scraping tho bones of the people who
were murdered during tho massacre of st.
Bartholomew. At this moment my horse
turned to snowflake and melted away before
my eyes, and / mingled with the throng.
saw Christians reading tho Koran, Mahomme-
dams talking about the telephone,
saw monks training for the prizo
ring, women playing base ball. ostriches
smoking Havana cigars, geese playing
checkers mules running sewing machines,
cowboys hoeing cabbage, preachers pulling
teeth Quakers dancing, brick masons saving
wood, Indians compiling dictionaries, Esqui-
maux playing on pianos, fees eating oysters,
spotted men and pink colored children MUNICH
ing sawdust, horses fighting duels, goats wear
ing New Market jerseys, frogs throwing dice,
gamblers praying, jacknives dancing jigs,
editors writing English, creditors giving
more time ants snowballng, whales eating
Malaga grapes, pigs beating drums, Office
holders resigning, and" -
The tall, gaunt man stopped suddenly.
His battered body fell upon the cold, hard
pavement with dull, sickening thud, and
tho passengers voted the ministerial passen-
ger and the stout Goaman butcher a reso
luton of thanks for killing him.
u@@
Every English newspaper that comes to the
state department nowadays has something tC
say about the enormity of the crime of Nor
monism, a fact which leads one of the diplo'
mates of home production to rise and remark
that these papers need not go so far from homo
to criticise crime infinitely more atrocious
viz: the trade with the Chinese in opium
M hac 1onu hnan pnrried IN under th,
protection of the British government. Tht
Cinnamon swap their teas and silks and toy
for the soul destroying and mind wreckinI
drug, and they get little else for their pro
ductions. This is thrown out merely as
suggestion.
Request for Loan OF Confederate Battl
, Flags Refused by Aojutant Genera
Drum.