New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-02-07
The Tsuspooss Fish.
81 . said Uncle .JeemS,

II think, said Uncle Jeems,
that ar story ar likely enough. When
Bagby was guv' ner / was fishing on the
big bend nv the Tallapoosa whar I had
once been with Gen. jackson At the bat
tie of the Horseshoe as it is called,
and sot my lices out in cove and
kindled a torch, fur it was darker than
the inside Of tar bar'l. l fotch my az
with me. thinking mout find q ripe
'possum in a holler log. Well. when
got my torch to burning found the
water was low, but thar had been some
awful big rains some time before, and
that thar was the cussedest boots of owls
l ever heard. never had any fsh-luck
when they put in their blab. So I flash
ed my torch and took good look at
the black water, and seed somethin'
moving and splurging about; at last
made it out. 1t was the biggest catfish
I ever seed. You'ns has seen Ben Dink-
erers new ferrysboat. It was big as
that-broader but not adzactly so long.
Right at the mouth of the cove stood
holler sweet gum. So seized my Ak.
and in no time I felled it across the
mouth of the cove to keep it from get.
ting back into the river again. Fishin'
was up for the night, 30 trugs back
home an gets crowd Nv neighbors next
morning. and we fetched yoke of
steers and log-chain and power of ropes.
crow-bars and such like. Jerry Can
ant, fetched cross cut saw and
grubbin-hoe, for you see we war all bent
on gitten that fish banciously out Nv the
wafer.
Shur enuff, that fish war thar in the
morning conflumixin in the mud with
the whole upper part of his backbone,
four feet above the water line. Sum
was fur taking him out alive. and sum
was for killing him outright and takin'
him out piece at time. Canant low'd
he might have some valuables in his
in'ards, which would be lost if we did
that. So we made lassoe of an inch
rope, and arter dozen trials got just
beyond his gills, and socked a crowbar
behind it to keep it from slipping off,
then we hitched the log-chain and steers
to the rope, and with the help Nv all
hands we dragged him out, (fact, GIN
tleman). 1t tuck sum time to cut his
head off.
THE next thing we did was to cot
some big levers and git him on his back.
After we chopped off his hind eend he
stopped his cussed wigglin. Jerry Can
ants cross-cut saw was too short, SO we
list nat ally explored his insides by dig
gin and cuttin and hackin ontil the loose
meat, scattered all about over the
ground, looked worse as if lightnin had
struck city butcher-shop; arter which
we got into his craw or guzzle-bag, and
l wish l may be odestitied il we didn't
find an anvil-a blacksmithshop; and
that warn't all-thar wus sledge.ham-
mer, part of the bellussus. the smiths
leather apron, wagon-hub, bed-post
and we'll nigh on to key o'horse-shoe
nails.
beside all those leetle things we
found horses hof with shoe on.
par O. saddle-bags with two half-gallon
jugs full of corn whisky in 'em. We
sorter expected to find the blacksmith
thar, but we didn't. The next thing we
found was q taarapin, a tar bucket. a
par Nv old shoes, some eels and mud
turtles, and at the bottom NV his vat we
found music-bt,ok, the old 'Mosoora
Harmony and wish lnout be dick.
Grated if all the few-so laws hadn't
taken roots in the side NV his stummick
and was CROWN. The fish would have
made fine squelin' worm if we hadn't
spilled his music-box. I've seed boss
hars grow in water and tadpoles and
wiggle-tails, but music notes sorter gla-
gumpficates my facwilties. Dag it. l
never had any luck fishing AFTER that,
and never did ketch fish in the Talla-
poosa since. "-Ame,1cus (Ga.) Repssb-
lic07s.