The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1883-06-12
A RAILROAD PASS.
A Modern Application From the
Rural Editor.


The philanthropic editor Of the
Boomerang, Bill Nye, is now pre-.
pairing a letter writer which he evil
IDENTIFY means shall be of practical
benefit to his journalistic brethren. He
says: Our first letter shall We the
form that should be used in addressing
q soulless corporation relative to
pass
Office of freedoms Bugle Horn, "
Wahoo, Neb., Feb. 18S2.-Te Hon.
j. @. A. Gall, General Passenger and
Ticket Agent j. 1. M. G. r. o. w.
Ry. Chicago, ILL.,. l have add, essed
you at this moment for the purpose Of
ascertaining your mental con, .ctions
relative to an annual pass over your
voluptueus line. 1t will occur to you
instantly that, with the enormous
power in my hands, something should
NE done at once to muzzle and subsi-
die me. The Bugle Horn stands
upon tie pinnacle Of pure and un-
furnished independence. Her clarion
notes are ever heard above the din of
war and in favor Of the poor, the
down-trodden, and oppressed. Still
it is nv solemn duty, to foster and
encourage few poor and deserving
monopolies. / have already taken
your read, and SC to speak placed it
upon its feet. Time and again have
/ clo.e my eyes to unpleasant facts
relative to your line, because / did
not wish to crush young and grow
ing industry. Last fell you had a
vashout down at Jimtown which was
criminally excusable in its character,
but passed silently over the occur
renee in order that you might redeem
yourself. One of your conductors. an
over-grown, baldheaded pelican from
Laramie, man of no literary ability
and who could not write a poem to
save his measly, polluted soul from
perdit;on, once started the train out
of Wahoe when l was within
one-quarter of mile from the
depot, and left me gszng thought
fully down the track with $50 pound
hand trunk to carry back home with
me. Another time when nv pass and
pocket had expired at abont the same
moment and l undertook to travel On
my voluptucus shape, a red headed con
ductor wboes soul has never walked up
on the sunlit bill of potent genius
caught me by the bosom of my pants
and forcibly elected me from the train
while it was in motion, and with such
vigor and enthusiasm that 1 rolled
down an embankment 100 feet with
frightful rapidity and less of life. A
large bottle of :ansy and sweet spirit
near my prayer. which I had con-
cealed about my person to keep of ma
laria and rattlesnakes, was frighttully
crushed and segregated. Besides all
THE my feelings were hurt and outraged.
and 50 was the portico of my panta.
looms. l hushed these matters up.
kept them out of the papers as far al
possible in order that your seulless cor
poration might have a new of life. ]
now ask you whether in view of this
you will or will r.t stand in the path
way of your company's success. Will
you refuse ne pass and call down
upon yourself the avalanche of my
burning wrath. or will you grant me
an annul. and open up such an ear Of
prosp Gritty for the ]. l. N. G. r. O.
w. railroad as it never before knew
Do you want the aid and encourage.
ment of the Bugle Horn and s-cce :,
or do want its opposition and a pau.
per's grave beneath the blue-eyed
JENNY jump-upi in the valley? Should
you inclose the pass / would be vel
grateful to you for any little sugges.
tons during the year what my fearless
and outspoken opinion should be re-
trive to your company Hoping to
hear from you favorably in the cont
guous ultimately. I beg leave to wish
you a very pleasant bon vivant.
Very sincerely yours,
EPHRAIM BATES,