The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1883-06-07
Uncle Remus as a Voter.

well," said Uncle Remus, as he entered
the editorial rooms of the Constitution the
other day. II mighty poly mysef but
dat amt hender me from hopin' dat
yuther folks is keepin' way from de doc
tor shops. Many en- many is dc po'
creetur wat done bin ter de doctor shops
one time too much. Yit look at me, l
bin dar mighty nigh much ez anybody,
an Miss Sally says deys lots or hard work
in me yit. 'vidin' anybody kin git it cut
er me. In my young days l use ter year
talk dat de highest road to de berryin'-
groun' wuz 'roun' by de doctor shop,
but spite des dat keeps on taking der
truck, an amt see datit do me no harm.
Ef any you young gentermens gifts ter
feeling low down in dc sperets, en- sorter
quare in de naborhoods er de gizzard,
you des rack 'roun' to Mars Dock Alex
ander en- git some er dem AZ quiernine
en- blue mast pills, en- ef dey don't set
you up, you kin des lay de blame onter
me. When .ole Miss was live, de doc
tor'd come 'Toun' bout dis time er year,
en- all de niggers, little en- big, 'ud haf-
ter come up en- git a dost er jollup en-
callymel; but desc days you gotter hunt
dc doctor up en- git piece er paper en-
beat 'roun' town twel you kin fine some
un fer ter mix up de truck"
Uncle Remus paused, and then broke
into loud laugh.
''Wat de name er goodness is l doin' !?
l des crope up yer for ter ak you all
young gentermens sumpin' en- yer l is
runnin' on like catbird in q peach or
chark. l dunner how you all is, but l
amt got no time fer ter be projickin. !"
'Gracious Heavens!' exclaimed one
of the young men, "do you hear that?
He says he hasn't got time! Won't
somebody lead him out and ask him to
call again and say one word-one little
word-when he has got timer"
''En needer is 1 got time fer ter be rum
MIN on longer you ALL" Uncle Remus
retorted Indignantly. "You all kin take
yo' share an split dem ar newspapers
wide open, but ole Remus can't take no
shears en- cut truck outer ter folks gyar-
dian, kase eff 1 did dey'd slap de law on
me. En- Of amt got no time fer ter
stan yer en- talk, co'se Iain't got no time
fer ter be gwine terlaw. Dat guardian out
dar at Wes' Een' calm me rightnow, en-
amt got minute ter spar'-dat amt. "
Suppose you go down in the frees
CAPE" some one suggested, but Uncle
Remus ignored the hint.
'.Man down dar on de street ak how
gwine vote dis time, en- / des ruined up
yer fer ter AK you all gentermens eff dey-
or gwinter be n er lection in de NUM-
ted States er Georgy."
'Why, of course there isr'
"Now, amt dat too much?" eXclaim-
ed Uncle Remus with unmistakable bit
terness. "Man go up en- vote, en- he AIM
got time ter change his cloze TO he got
ter rack up en- vote ag'in.''
"Why, haven't you heard about Boyn
ton, Bacon and tho rcst?''
II year Miss Sally readin' out names
en- dates, en-'sputin' longer Mars John
but tuck dc idee dey wuz one er dez,
yer cake-walks gwine on up dar."
"Up whereP"
"Up dar whar de sleepin' kyars comes
fun; some'rs up dar."
.'He seems to be thoroughly familiar
with the geography of our common coun
try" remarked one of the young men
Uncle Remus grinned broadly.
Il lay dey don't fool me on de cake.
walk, kaze dey wuz a niggar man in ont
un UNI; but wat poster me is deze ye
'lections follorin' attor one er n'er de
lax drove of sheep. Eve'y time dey
comes, old Remus gifts in trouble wus
en- wilss."
"Why so?''
"Des kaze Mars. John en- Miss Sail,
gifts ter 'sputin' bout witch de bes' man
en- den dey comes after me. Hits Re
mus, how you gwine ter vOte?' en- M
you amt en- Yes you is,' ontwel de
natally gifts wo' out. Hits pull en- haul
pull en- haul, day in en- day out, en-
amt got no peace er min twel lection
day done gone. Miss Sally say vote disl
yer way, Mars. john say vote at ar way
en- wen dat de case, wat old nigge
Ike me gwine ter do?"
''Well. how did You vote, after alp
"Dat wat want to know; dat de
zackly wat I'm AFTER Mars. John, he
low he de boss, yt l notices dat wen
Miss Sally say amt gwine to git nc
gravy on my grits dey amt no gravy
dar, en- de man wat kin eat grits with
out gravy is got mo- strenk in his STUN
mick dan W at is. From dis out tive
after de lection done good en- gone you
kin des put it down dat dc rheumati1
done struck me in de j'ints, en- hit II be
dat sorvigous dat can't move skacely
En- eve'y time they say vote I'm a gwint
ter grlIt en- groan like one er deze yel
Wes' Pint ingines. But, shoe! l aim
got time fer ter be runnin' ON yer vic
you all" joel Chandler Harris, in
| Atlanta Constitution.