The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-23

tegrity. -aresr--asz.---a- ---s-,
We are apt to be kinder to the
brutes that love us than to the women
that love us. Is it because the brutes
are dumb2-Georg Eliot . o. ~. ,,.,,s.,
Pies date back to the time of the
Romans, and came originally from
Picardy. Some of the original pies are
still on sale atrailroad restaurants.
"A Hartford woman who advertised
the loss of pocket book containing tif-
teen dollars received no less than sever
proposals of marriage during the next
three days. Boston Post
Yesterday boy about sixteen years
old got a tumble on a coal hole andwas
evidently pretty badly hurt On get
ting up he swore fluently and clergy.
man. passing, PARSED and asked him
why he discoursed so irreligiously, to
which the lad replied that he was toe
big to cry. and, by hockey. he'd got to
do something Boston Posi-. Ig7
-Ison is a very much more useful
metal than gold. 1t has been our habit
for many years to deny ourself for The
gook of others, and inai this matter we
will preserve our disiDterestedness.
You may take all the iron and be hap
py with it, and we win try to be COM
Portable with gold, which is only seeenG.
best. -s ..' .esIs d. a,i l-ls,ti.f
The cOnceited young mani
spruce and concerted young Mr..
Fell in love with another chaps ST,
.r With his sweet little cane, fiL
At the end of the lane. RI p
He met and he fain would have kr,s
But he trod on her trair, s7-s7 $780,
At the end of the lane,
And a slap on his face made Dir.
-"What on, earth makes, you an
nounce that you extract teeth without
pain? Didn't hear every patient you
had up here yellP" you did, sir, rer
plies the peripatetic. dentist: "but those
were shrieks of joy which they'uttered,
sir. They were so delighted, Sir, al
being painlessly relieved that they could
not restrain their enthusiasm. IN y
Ledger. Gs- ~ iraa 1.oa- O.. .- ..5..cf-
valuable cow in Kentucky broke
into corn-field and gorged herself SC
that she was about to die, when sur
geon made an incision IN her side and
"took out over six iushels of corn,
corn-stalks and grass" 1t is thought
tutt II the CoW udu uCCh uuugTy Sut
would have eaten out the entire corn
field including seventeen panels OF
post and rail-fence and four white OAK
stumps. -NorristoDn Herald, 49,,
"A miller. who attemptedto bewitty
at the expense of youth of weak intel
lie t, aecosted him with: ''John. PEG
pie say that you are fool" On this
John replied: II don't know that
am, sir; know some things, sir. anG
some things don't know, sir. )" .'Wen.
John, what do you know?" II know
that millers always have fat hogs, sir.
"And what don't you know" -
don't know whose corn they eat, Sir
1t is cruel to keep checking boys.
Little frankie +. was astride the sofa
cushion, and was making his steed ap-
parently take 2:iO pace, with kicks
and slashes of his whip, and yelling at
the top of his lungs His poor mother
bore it awhile. and then said. .sternly:
frankie, stop making noise! Drive
your horse if you want to. but be
Still" 1t was very quiet for while,
and Frankie's mother looked around tc
see her boy sitting astride the sofa
cushion, but the tears rolling down his
cheeks. why. frankie, what is the
matter?' frankie sobbed out: :" can't
make him 90, mamma, unless holIer
to him. It's all inside of me. and if il
don't come out shall bcrstp'-C iicaqc
,Net0s Ak