The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1883-06-27

less. leaky old coal oil cans--each
one with q handle and there they
stand, bottom up, ito saw them,"
as she says, ''for they might come
useful" Useful for what Will
they hold anything? will they sell?
can you give them away:
If put an old boot aside Ia man
often needs an old boot) it is soon
hustled into the stove, because such
things "collect DUST" and her "w0rk
is never DONE" and she won't have
the house Uttered up" she won't.
But tin cans! of course they are not
q nuisance; of course they are not
forever rafting down, to be forever
replied. But where Is the man who
ever "knew anything about a house?"
If l hang up an old coat for next
summer, it is dangling in a fringe at
the end of a mop stick before I know
it. But is that any reason why
every Granny and closet in the house
shouldn't be stuffed With empty cans!
1 think it is.
But it is not the physical ESQ to
speak, effect Of this craze only which
exercises melt has a moral side
also. When we married she was
open as a sunflOwer. Now that I've
set my foot upon the cans she's
grown as stealthy as a cat. If l hear
her going tip-toe up stairs, 1 know
she's got a can to hide between the
rafters. If 1 catch her poking about
behind the wood-pile, investigation
after she has stolen back to the stove
will show me she was c~oncealing a
car. In fact, the thing which has
come between us us is a tin can-it is
the skeleton of our house; the divid-
ing ridge between ME and Martha.
What shall I do? What do you do?
You've got the same thing on hand.
Why don't I open the cans myself,
and spoil them in the opening? Be-
cause she caught me at it, and
pocketed the opener. Why don't I |
stop buying the goods? Because she
knows where the town refuse is
dumped. and, as she's good at a bar
gain and all the women in the place
exchange cans, she'd soon have as
good u collection as though I bought
by the wagon load. It-can't-be-
escaped; and the children never come
home without a can.
There's a whole family growing up
with cans upon the brain. It's all
very we'll to say like father, like
son." bat every father knows, and
sadly knows, that it's like mother,
like son. Set yourself against any
foihle of your wife, and every child
got will smirkingly defy you
and initiate its mother. So it is with
cans. The more I ridicule the can
nuisance, the greater grows the ac-
cumulation; and whenever / smell a
stink about the house, l know a new
pile of them is drying under the
stove. Fish cans, shrimp cans, tripe
cans. cans ad nduseun,. Why don't
[ snake the whole lot out of the
house and dump them in the creek?
Why don't l? Didn't I (; and didn't
he entire family tell the entire neigh
)orhoed, aud didn't the entire
1eighborhood instantly divide its
ANS with the family? And hasn't
children got a boom across the
to catch the cans other people
brow away? I should say so. But,
Lord! what's the use! If it's useless
o kick against the pricks, it's as use
ess to kick against the cans; and if
our best horse lies down upon a
reap of cans hidden under the hay
nd lets daylight into him; or your
80 COW gets stalled upon one Of the
lseless things, why, your wife will
make it up to you, land gather in
mother lOt-of cans.
Perhaps some n wiser than 1 can
ell me what to do. If so, let him
peak out. We've a Legislature and
Governor to disapprove. Perhaps
re get him to veto the cans.
JOHN VESUvIUS.