The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1883-06-27
THE BAD BOY.

"You look sleepy" said the gro
cery man to the bad boy, as he came
in the store yawning, and stretched
himself out on the counter with bis
head on pile of brown wrapping
) paper, in reach of box of raisins
! whats the matter? Been sitting UP
with your girl all night?"
Nav | wish | had. Wakeful.
ness with my girl is sweeter and
more restful than sleep. No, this is
; the result of being dutiful son, and
| am tired. You see pa and me
have separated. That is, not for
keeps, but pa has got frightened
about burglars, and he goes up into
the attic to sleep. He says it il to
get fresh air, but he knows better.
Ma has got so accustomed to pas
snoring that she can't go to sleep
without it, and the first night pa
left she didn't sleep wink, and
yesterday | was playing on an old
ACCORDION that / traded dog collar
for after our dog was poisoned, and
when | touched the low notes
noticed ma dozed off to sleep, it
sounded so much like pas snore,
and last night ma made me set up
and play for her to sleep. She rest
ed splendidly, but | am all broke
up, | sold the ACCORDION this morn
ing to the watchman who watches
our block. 1t is queer what a diff
erent effect music will have on diff
erent people. While ma was sleep
ing the sleep of innocence under the
influence of my counterfeit of pas
snore, the night watchman was broke
of his rest by it, and he bought it of
me to give it to the son of an enemy
of his. Well, l have quit jerking
soda"
"No, you don't tell me-" said the
grocery man, as he moved the box
OF raisins out of reach. you never
will amount to anything unless you
stick to one trade or profession. A
rolling hen never catches the early
angleworEl."
80, am all right now. In the
soda business, there is no shance for
genius to rise, unless the soda foun-
tain explodes. 1t is all wind, and
one gets tired of constant fzz. He
feels that he is a fraud, and when he
puts little syrup in a tumbler, and
fires a little sweetened wind and
water in it, until the soap suds fills
the tumbler, and charges ten cents
for that which only costs cent, a
sensitive soda jerker, who has re-
formed, feels that it is worse than
three card monte. | couldn't stand
the wear on my conscience, so | have
got a permanent job as a super,
and shall open the lst of Septem-
ber.n
'Say, what's super? 1t isn't one
Of these free lunch places, that the
mayor closes at midnight, is it 2"
and the grocery man looked sorry.
20, thunder, you want salt on you.
A super is an adjunct to the stage.
A supe is a fellow that assists the
stars and things. carrying chairs and
taking up carpets, and sweeping the
sand off the stage after dancer has
danced jig, and he brings beer for
the actors, and anything that he can
do to add to the effect of the play.
Privately, now, | have been acting
as a supe for a long time, on the sly,
and my folks didn't know anything
about it, but since ! reformed and
decided to be good, l feltit my duty
to tell ma and pa about it. The
news broke ma all up, at first, but
pa said some OF the best actors in
this country were sups once, and
some of them were now, and he
thought supping would be the max
ing of me- Ma thought going to the
stage would be my ruination. She
said the threaten was the hotbed of
sin, and brought more ruin than the
church could head off. But when |
told her that they always gave snpe
two or three extra tickets for his
family, she said the theater had
some redeeming features, and when \
| said my entrance upon the stage
would give ma splendid opportu-
nifty to get the receipt for face pow
der from the actresses, for ma, and |
could find out how the actresses
managed to. get number four feet
into number one shoes, ma said she |
wished | would commence suping
right off. Ma says there are some |
things about the theater that are not |
so alfred bad, and she wants me to
get seats for the first comic opera
that comes along. Pa wants it un-
derstood with the manager that a
supe's father has a right to 60 behind |
the scenes to see that no harm be-
falls him, but | know what pa /
wants. He may seem pious, and /
all that, but he likes to look at ballet /
girls better than any meek and low
ly follower | ever see, and same day
YOU will hear music in the air. Pa /
thinks theaters are very bad, when
he has to pay dollar for reserve
seat, but when he can get in for
nothing as a relative of one OF the
.perfesh," the theater has many re-
deeming qualities. Pa and ma
think am going into the business
fresh and green, but know all |
about it. When / played with Nc
Cullough here once
"Oh, what you giving Us" said
the grocery man in disgust, when |
you played with Mccullough What
did you do?"
"What did l do? Why, you old |
seed cucumber. the whole play CEN
tered around me. DO you remem-
Der the scene in the Roman forum,
where Mccullough addressed the
populace of Rome. i was the pop
ulace. Don't you remember small
feller standing in front ofthe Roman
orator taking it in, with night
shirt on, with bare legs and arms
That was me, and everything de-
pended on me. Suppose / had gone
off the stage at the critical moment,
or laughed when should have look
ed fierce at the inspired words ofthe