The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1883-06-06
A CHILD,s sELF.REsPECT.


Nearly all mothers must meet, sooner
or later, the problem of how to rebuke
or punish q sensitive child without
wounding or destroying his self-respect
Che term self-respect here includes
that mild form of self-esteem which
often fortiies child against discredita-
BILE acts). With different temperaments
entirely different methods are necessary.
Two children in the same family often
need opposite modes of treatment. /
therefore, attempt to lay down no gem
sral rule, but venture to give my own
successful solution IN one difficult case,
hoping that it may prove at lease sug-
i esrlF found self-resspect to be the
basis of all good manifestations in my
little daughter-the corner stone upon
which alone could build firmly. HlI
made the mistake Of eorrecting her fault
In such q way as to lessen her self
respect, everything seemed to give way
beneath us-I had nothing left to build
upon.cs III as-,S-si.S q II All
When she was three years old I was
startled into deep consideration of this
matter. Up to this time she had been
50 habitually and -cheerfully obedient
that I rarely corrected her, and she
lived in q Joyous atmosphere of approval
very sweet to her soul From the
height of conscious rectitude she obeyei
with the air OF Soblesse oblige, and her
prompt and loving acquiescence led US
to believe that no difficulty lay in the
path of her development. But one day,
In q sudden freak of temper. she did
wrens,, very wrong, and I, afnazed and
shocked, rebuked her quickly, little
thinking how wrong it was for me 70
say, .You naughty grill Mamma does
not lore you when you do sos Instantly
my loving little daughter was trans
formed. She screamed, pushed me
away, and sobbed herself INTO quiet ct
last in far corner. Even after COM
parative cheerfulness was restored she
repelled all my advances, and carried q
strange, hard look in her face while she
played with her dollies, ignoring my
presence.
Within few hours she disobeyed me
again, and. in reply to q gentle rebuke,
said sullenly: 81 not care-mamma NOT
love mei,F From that time, for two
days, she. showed 3 dogged, hateful
spirit, willfully disobeying me, and al
ways saying: II not care; not scanl
to be goodrA or: II not good girl
mamma not love mel,
1 saw, too late, that by calling hel
naughty, and making her think my love
withdrawn, I had brought the sensitive
little soul 90 despair. self-respect and
public respect were lost She had nc
motive for good behavior. The three
year-old desperado was equal to any
villainy- She despiseds the biandish
ments of the mother who did not low
Ia--1 20,
kiss She was absolutely cold and nm
approachable, yet with most patheti,
look of misery haunting her eyes.
Finally, I knelt on the floor besid'
her, and very tenderly explained that
however naughty she might be. mammi
lored her Just the same; that nothins
she could ever DO would stop mammal
loving her An incredulous, hesitan
look was her only response then di
lated on my theme, saying always tina
should love her .just the same.
s'Jsxst de sane9" she repeated wonder
ingly. So, at last, won my rebel. Sh
chung TO me convulsively, and kept ask
ing In q son, delighted voice such h-ques
tons as these: nn strike, does 90 low
me just de suzneS't And when I sail
that it would make me sad that / Nigh
be compelled to punish her, but that
should lore her Just the same, she woul
hug and kiss me in an ecstacy.. For tn
next twenty-four hours she continued Z
PROFOUND, with wistful look, ne,
conundrums of childish infancy, alway
ending with, aand oo'd love me Just d
saue9siaE eak 1ltN .aasof c@r 20
At last she was fully reassured, an
ever since, through all vicissitudes q
disc7pline, she has had perfect conf
dence IN my unshaken love. -
Ont of the exigencies of this occasio
was evolved the scapegoat, which hs
ever since proved brilliant success I
our family i saw that so long as sh
felt herself a good girP' she was lot
to do anything unworthy of her loft
ided of herself, and that Unjust discove
some way of correcting faults withor
discouraging her and lowering her sci
respect
Knowing that children enjoy person
ification, IFiEidly personified her eros
naughty, impulses as . naughty spir
who delighted In making tronbi'
when he sees n dear, good little I'll
like you he thinks: Now, I'll get ht
into trouble; 50, when mamma tel
Don't do it, and II you listen TO hil
all sorts of bad times begin Tn
struck her imagination forcibly; Il
Naughty Cross, as she named hin
became q foe TO resist ON every occ'
sion. ST icob't be cross, I tciH mind N
mamma" were often her audible 81
swers to secret impulses 1 alwa,
looked tenderly at her when she i
elined TO disobedience, and said: 'Yc
good. sweet little girl, the Naughi
Cross Is trying 70 make you do wrong.
Often Iwould apostrophize the Naughi
Cross, saying sternly: Go awayi lea,
fhis good girlr' This spirited addre
frequently served IS . diversion Al
ended al trouble. Sometimes 81
would join with me In exercising Il
tempter, even giving herself rousil
slap in moments Of righteous wrat
saying: aGo away I<oonf be naughty.
Under cover Of rebuking the Naugh
Cross 4 was able to be far more seve
and make more telling points ths
would have been possible in addressir
her; yet she herself the ultimate co
Of her-neyer was wounded or
pressed by it. Itsvas always. In b
mind, struggle between an uprig
little girl and 9 temper. Her sense
honor eand rectitude grew and bic
somed. in spite of frequent episodes
discipline -. z,ss-., =
Gradually she took the matter mo