Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1883-03-23
Uncle Remus at the Telepbone.

nhN SiuS Tug Softly 10 nerSelf, she heard
the old man come into the backyard and
enter the dining-room, where bright
ire was still burning in the crate.
Everything had been cleared away. The
COOK had gone and the house girl had
disappeared, and the little bow was
asleep. Uncle Remus had many priv
ileges in the house of the daughter of his
old mistress and master, and one of these
was to warm himself by the dining-room
hre whenever he felt lonely, especially
at night. To the lady there was a whlm-
steal suggestion of pathos in everything
the old negro said and did; nevertheless,
her attitude toward Uncle Remus was
one of busting criticism and deprecia-
ton. BY leaning back in her chair 8
little she could see him as he sat before
the 1ire enjoying the warmth.
81 should think it was time for you to
be in bed" she exclaimed.
Nom, faint" responded Uncle
Remus. 81 year tell dat wen ole folks
git ter bed soon, dey feelin's bin hurried,
en- goodness knows dey amt nobody
hurried my feelin's dis day."
'Well. there isn't anything in there
that you can pick up. I've had every
thing put under lock and key.'
''Yessum, dey is sumpin ne'r in yer.
too, kaze yer Mars John supper settin'
right down yer fo' de fer, an little mo-
hit I'D bin dry spsng upif hadn't
drapt in des wen L did. year Mars
John tell dat ar niger oman wat you
call yo' cook fer ter have i'm some fried
aigs fer supper, en- eff deze amt fried en-
dried L amt never see none wat is.
Wen Mars John come you kin set plum
in dar en- year i'm crack um up in his
mouf same lax COW chawin' fodder. Las,
Sat'dy night Mars John fotch some fried
listers home, en- eff dish yer niger oman
stay on dis hill many mo- days he ull
git all his vittles cooked down town en-
fetch it home in a baskit. Whar Mars
John now?"
Just then there was a call at the tele-
phone. The little gong ratified away like
a house was on fire. As the lady went
to answer it Uncle Remus rose from his
chair and crept on his tip-toe to the door
that opened into the sitting-room. He
heard his Miss Sally talking.
Well, what's wanted? o! is that
you?' Well, 1 couldn't imagine. No.
Fast asleep too long ago to talk about.
Why, eff counsel No! Why should be
frightened! l declare, you ought to be
ashamed! Remus is here. Two hours!
think you are horrid mean! By-byr'
Uncle Remus stood looking suspicious.
ly at the telephone after his Miss Sally
had turned away.
"Miss Sally" he said. presently.
''wuz you talkin' ter Mars John?''
Certainly, Who did you suppose it
wasp
Wharbouts wuz Mars John?"
Athis office"
"Way down yam on Yallerbamer
Street,"
Eyes"
At this piece of information Uncle
Remus emitted a groan that was full of
doubt and pity and went into the dining
room. His Miss Sally laughed and then
an idea seemed to strike her. She called
him back, and went again to the tele-
phone.
''Is that you. Central? Please connect
eleven-forty with fourteen-sixty." There
was fiuttering sound in the instrument,
and then the lady said: g Yes, it's me.
Here's RemuS. Yes, but he wants to
Lalk to you.
- Here, Remus, take this and put it to
your ear. Here, simpleton! 1t won't
hurt you"
Uncle Remus took the ear-piece and
handled it as though it had been load
ed pistol. He tried to look in it at both
ends, and then he placed it at hhAear
and grinned sheepishly. He heard
thin, sepulchral, but familiar voice call
ny out: .'Hello, Remusr' and his sheep
ssh grin gave place to an expression of
uneasy establishment.
(" Hello, Remus Hello-ello-ello.
ello-o-or'
90 Is dat you, Mars John?"
''Of course it is, you bandy-legged
BID villain. have no time to be stand
i2g here. What do you want?"
Z" How in de name err Heben you git
n dar, Mars John?'
Is In where?"
" In dish ver-in dish yer appleratus.
80. you be-fiddlestick! What do you
wants
MARS John, kin you see me, or is she
all dark in dar?''
.'Are you crazy? Where is your Miss
Sally?'
"She in yer. hollun en- laughin'.
Mars John, how you gwine git out'n
dar?''
''Dry up. Good night"
Eyer tits, Miss Sally" said Uncle
Remus. after listening n moment. 'Dey's
n mighty zoonin' gwine on in dar, en- ]
dunner whe'er Mars John irwin tel
scramble out, er whe er he des tryin' fer
Ger make hisself comfortable in dar."
what did he say, RemusP''
s.He up en- 'low'd dat one I'm us wuz
vilyun, but dey was such buzzin'
gwine on in dar dat 1 couldn't zactly
Eetch de rights un it." iLlLltl
Uncle Remus went back to his place
oy the dining-room fire, and after 3
while began to mutter and talk to him.
self.
Whats the matter now?" his Miss
Sally asked.
Il us des sayin' dat know Mars
John mus be sulfun some'rs."
"Why?"
go, des knows it; kaze eff he amt,
wat make he talk so weak? He bleedz
ter be in trouble. I'm tellin' you de
Lord trufe-dat w tie man talk like he
amt bigger den one er deze yer little
teenchy chany dolls. 1 boun' you," he
continued. ''ef ruz wife 'oman en-
Mars John wuz my ole man. I'd snatch
up my bonnet en- I'd natully sail roun'
dish yer town twel fine out w at de
matter wild i'm. would dat"
The old mans Miss Sally laughed till
the tears came in her eyes, and then she
said: nTrfaT
There's piece of pie on the side.
board. Do get it, and hush SO much
talking.
''Thanky, missis. thankyr' exclaimed