The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-04-07
WIT AND HUMOIt.

iue ucui man spring Joke. MAN wants
but little hear below. - Louisville Courier
Journal.
The Crow Indians have become civilized
enough to bale up rocks with their hay
Detroit Free Press,
The poor man with an idea of poverty is
no worse of than arich man with poverty
OF ideas Il Boston Transcript.
Ofcourse you are not superstitous, and
never place any reliance in signs, but here
IL u sign you always believe ms.
When u woman wishes to hide something
where nobody will ever be able to find il
she puts IL in the pocket OF her dress -
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Fools live long. They are exempt from
insanity, soitening OF the BRAIN brain fever
and many other diseases that take on useful
people.-IN. 0. Plcayune.
IL has been discovered that Butler ia n
member OF the Young Mems Christian as
ISOLATION OF Lowell, Massachusetts, but IL ia
evident he has not improved his oppor.
tunltles-lBurlington Hawkeye.
VI always stand by my principles" said
the ward politician. al don't see any need
oil that, said Fogg; there's no danger of
script.
young lady was recently asked by her
gallant what she considered the height of
Impotence. Looking archly at him, she
SAID; spark a girl for three solid hours
ana never offer to kiss her." 1t is needless
10 add that he is not so impudent now
wheeling Journal.
At Salida, NO., u woman won So,, IN e,
pet that she could chop cord of wood
sooner IMAM certain man. She would
nave lost her wager, however, il there had
peen IN that viciAity backyard fence with
H W woman leaning. over it.-[New
YORK Commercial Advertiser.
Holmes and Whittier both decline to
write poem on John Howard Payne, fear
,ng they cannot come up to public expecta.
uons ON the subject. II Mr.. Corcoran
would give the spring poets of each comfy
achance he would have Payne enough,
New Orleans Picayune.
FIRST dude, with an embarrassed smile
say, Augustus, really believe I've
broken q corset lacing. Have Won an eytra
one with your Secsnd dude, with an ex.
preston OF horror-'"Really why Alger.
non, where could you fix 1t IL had one
me gyurls are all looking at us, We know
-tllartford Post. ""'"'
enthusiastic professor Of physics, discuss.
ing the organic and inorganic kingdoms
NOW, II l should shut my eyes-so-and
urop my head-so-and should not moye
You would say was a clod But | move
leap, run then what do YOU call msf'
voice from the rear---"A clod .hopper y,
olass Is dismissed.-lNassar Miscellany.
circumstances alter cases: Crmsus Bore.
well-"ls your sister ut homePn Miss
sally (who has heard Il. discussed in the
lamilyl-"No," Mr.. Q. B.--"Then will
you please see that she gets these towers?r
Miss S;,-"Hes III take them right up to
her' She'll DO delighted. lille.
our Intelligent police. Frenchman-
Monsieur lie Gendarm, could you direct me
10 Booth's theater2n Officer ll4 lately inn
porledl--"Well, yum foind it on Broadway,
betwane Twinty-trst and Twinty.siyintv,
strale, or (reilectively) mebbe IT'S on The
noorth side OF Foorth avenue ,furtherdoon y
-lColumbus Spectator.
A "home hint" informs us that uro,o
burlaps and Irvine are now utilized forr
decorative purposes, The fashion, we be-.
heye, originated in Texas. In TINT state
Judge Lynch has for many wears utiliyed
rope ana twine for decorating the necks of
horse.thieves aud the limbs of trees.-INor.
ris,own Herald. LAVA
Hell, lass, Alas Ny angel what
Hast made Thy locks all brown
its long been said that flaming red
sbeauty's brightest crown"
"lea stupid man, you ye got no styie!'
The new. brown maiden cried;
III an angel was, I'm moro
An angel now I've dyedl'
-Ilouisyille Couricr-Journal.
Mrs. Livermore SAYS that the original
man had not the intellectual ability TO
make Tor himself q suit OF clothes,o But
what of it Wasn't he marredp What
does man want TO knov how to make A
suit OF clothes for when he has wife TO do
the sewing while he slops around, saving
the country and parceling out oillces ior
tho needy Boston Transcript.
PAS long way ahead of Virgins, - said
Meiancthon to ono of Mr.. MMrowtat's
guests, as they were examining the pictures
IN the parlor after dinner. "Your father IL
avery clever man," politely observed tho
gentleman TO whom the remark was nd
dressed. Eyes" continued the gerrulous
boy, "hc can tell when there's Storm com.
Ing every time, Just by looking In mas
fAce,"--[Brcoklyn Eagle.
| =