The banner-enterprise., 1883-05-24
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

All early Spllng- g-JuihplhS ouI OF
bed at $50 A. M.-SVfings.
Should music b. sold by the chordP
Drum music might be sold by the
pound.
any raw recruit can write about
ia e by preparing an essay on cheek.
-Net0 York Nea0s.
81 wouldn't mind going up so high"
said the hotel guest, If the bill was
not made out in the same way
From the way in which the bruisers
stick to their business, it is evident
that this is the muscle-age.- YoakerS
Gazette.
Pugilists are generally considered
plucGy fellows, but none of them get
through with sparring match with
out feinting.-Eoyton Commercial.
Let those who fish with patent flies
The small boys bait of worms despise;
The chances are as ten to one
the small boy has the grea est fun.
--hiohn,oni Baton.
The mill owner who turneu the fire
hoe upon one of his disorderly EN-
ployeS explained his conduct by say
ing that he wa; only wa hing his
hands.
Teacher: "Can you tell me which
is the olfactory organP' Pupil
frankly answers: "No, sir Teacher;
Correct" Pupil goes off in brown
study Boston TIGRSc1ipt.
Mulcahy says the statement that
Roach's ship is the first iron vessel
launched in America is mistake, as
Mrs. Mulchay frequently launches iron
vessels at him. Boston Bulletin.
Mrs. Spayg.ns was boasting cf her
new house. The windows, she said,
were stained. That's too bad; but
won't turpcntine or benzine wash it
off," asked the good Ms Oldboy.--
Burlington H0lcke ie.
No matter how glad
Man may be, he is sad
And angry and mad
When the bone of the shad
Makes him wish that he had
Ordered liver, bedad. Puck.
"What can a boy do?" asks an ex-
change. We are just Yankee enough
to answer by asking another; What
cal't boy do?" Parents who have
brought up male offspring will at once
see the force of the reply-Loa0yH
citizen
A young lover in Iowa paid $40 for
| loo Omot.ye to run him thirty-fye
miles to see his girl, and when he got
there the family bulldog ran him two
niles and didn't charge him cent.
Corporations have no sous.-Du.uth
Tritun'.
Much Of the trouble in married life
originates in disputing who shall carry
tae pocket5ook. A young Philadel-
phia husband got around this trouble
by letting his wife carry the pocket
book while he kept the money
ChyOnicte-Herald.
A young lawyer appeared before
Washington judge with his umbrella
under his arm and his hit on, and in
his agitation he forgot t. lay either
DO NC W IL IL nt ptR III SUtiklllSs
=" Hadn't you better raise your UNI
brella?" the court kindly suggested
baltimore NeWS.
"Bjornstierne Bjornson, the Nor~e-
gian poet, is soon to visit Lundon.'
Bjorn tjerne could have a good deal Of
fun now if he only knew it. He could
have his name printed on cards and cir
culated through the streets of London.
The rightened inhabitants would think
it Fenia1 cipher dispatch, and it
would create panic.-Puck.
Father" said Johnnie, "this paper
says that many prominent citizens
are now i'll with pneumonia and kin
dred Diseases What is q kindred dis
ease, father2' "Why, my son." sad
Smthly "a kindret disease isis
why-ye', yes kindred disease is
one that runs through an entire family
* ndred, relatives, you know. Sur
prised you didn't know that, Johnne.''