Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1883-12-13
HERE IND THERE.

I Whnh Ill odth hboWh thbt LIZ WASH
mortaily sick II Boston Post
A Chicago man set out 70 give his viii
a little surprise the other night. II
went home early and sober, and by s.
doing, not only completely urprist d her
but also neighbor. Dos on Post.
No, nobody likes liar; but every bod,
| feels kindier towards the liar Who SAYS
How we'll you're looking" than To III,
| honest truth teller who exclaims, "w ny
how s~fully you're looking Bosio,
Transcript.
A Boston man has discoverei that II Ii
a mau's legs whicb drown bin. II i
were not for hts legs he would float
But just how u mau is to get rid of hii
legs when no falls into the water, is moi
stated. boston Post
Clara louise kellogg sang "Homs,
Sweet Hrme" 10 the convie,s In al
eastern piirou, aud ID. warden told her
she ought MOI to hsve done It; the Ineu
wera MOI over 0ODteuted, rs 1t Was.-
Boston Post.
The ConqregahOnotsst, improving on @
suggestion OF the Louisville Christian
Obss'ver, translates Matthew Arnold'a
tar-famed phrase "sweetness and light u
Into "molasses and mooushine. rel
Courier.
western editor has the A"writers'
cramp" not iu his. fingers, but in bis
Jaws. While writing editorials his mouth
follows the motion Of the shears, and in
this way the trouble was brought about.
PHILADELPHIA Call.
"Nsver mind, my young kid, Pm going
up to see your mother about this
THAT'S all right" yslled back the small
boy, "you just go right along up there
Pa filled a man full of buckshot the other
day for going to see my ma"
The King OF Siam rejoices il the
tropical luxuriance of name which,
like the Irish giant in "Punch," could
only bs brought out in ip-ialmentl. 1t
il SJWsjAtch Phra Pargmindr Nsha
Chulalon KOru Phra Chula, Chorn Klao.
PATHS diamonds are worth 5000, OOp, but
most OF them were presented TO her three
kings ard one queen being among the
givers. Three kings and one queer, By
the way, properly handled, can be made
very productive of wealth Boston Post
''Your father ia worth, at least, half a
Million" said he to his Jealous sweet
heart. "Thst is true," she muru ured
"And yet you doubt my love-" he replied
In an injured t0ne.-IeEas SVlings. Did
he luore straight in the eye when b. said
it ~
Among the Philadelphia Calls state
ments of why 1t was thankful last week,
1t says: "Beoause editorial rooms are go
high up that by the time a man tn a
club reaches them he is so weak and out
Of breath that he can be knocked over
with an encyclopedias"
A Mormon woman who attained her
one buhdredth birthday on Tuesday, and
who has SO grandchildren aud 200 de
scspdants, only entered Murmonism H.
her ninety fifth year. 1t is with cold
chill that we reflect what might have
been the result had she become convert
at the ago of 75.--Er, ..
'Don'. give me csrtlosd," said a
Fifth avenue young lady to the carver st
last years. Thanksgiving table. Noticing
a short time afterward that her plate was
empty, the meroiless agent OF comm ssary
distribution bandiy inquired "Mj
dear miss, will You please back up your
cart again ?"-Ne0 York Commercial
Advertiser.
Selma, Ala, recently received by mail
a very curious specimen OF newly
Matched chicken. 1t has four separate
and distinct legs EOd feet, perfect in sizr
and formation. II came from Macon
Station, and was matched by hen who
never failed regularly to inoubats three
mr. fnnF- l.rraA nhiuly bar
NeO O,leans Ynes-Democru..
Down in New Jersey the greatest
baIbarities are perpetrstsd by those
who go hunting snipe. A very
common occurrence Is for six sportsman
to surround asiDgie snipe aud go through
such ridiculous, though highly tporta.
manlike, performances that the poor bird
actually dies laughing at them - Looea
Citizen.
A tailor, anxious to get the views of
the press ON tle subject, wrote to differ.
ent editors, Gsking: "What do you
think of knee breaches Would you
reply, filled with bitter indignation, he
discovered owed it's venomous spirit to
the tact that the writer was woman
Boston Iost
When newspaper mau a.tempt5 the
role OF advance agent for theatrica.
company he generally manages to maxi
it lively in the way OF advertising. IL
Washington city few days ago former
employe OF the st. Louis Eost- DtsDdfca
actually attempted to string printed
steamers across the trout of the capitol
as representative OF q New York theatre
company.
Thirty eight out Of 46 students in the
college of pharmacy in WASH gton,
seeded because oolored man Was ad
United. L. may bs that oolorsd man
doesn't possess any more brains than the
IS seceder9.-that is, more than sll OF
them oOmbined-but outsiders vii have
their suspicious. And it may be tat he
simply refused 10 take an oath to change
a patients prescription three timee day
and ''divy" with the ruggist.-NorrIs-
tol0n Herald.
MIR. Saith, do yOB know he character
Of Mr.. Jones 2" "Wali, rather lpss
do, jsdgs - "Wel!, what do you say
about IN" '4wall, hs amt 30 ad =
man after all" "Well, Mir. Smith,
what We watt to know is ::
Is Mr. Jones Of quarrel
soGe aud dangerous disposit "a -
wall, j4dge, should gay tina. Tom
Jones is very vivid in verbal sxeroi a, but
when it cores to personal sdjastme {, he
hain't eager for the contsat.'
Giant that good canvas back 7 en-
quired restRursnter Of custom WHO
had taken two or three bites ont Of Wild
duck sandwich. "YeB, this Is good
canvas back" ruplisd the oIstmsr (;
''You could make summer shoes or q tent
ont OF it. Think you ought to change
tile card aud cali it oil cloth back. This
thing Il tough enough 10 cover base
ball with And When the cue toner
looked around tue proprietor had moved
III to attend to another customer. IucS
A New Yo'k man named Harold re
covered $50 0Oo damages ior injuries SUE.
tsiped on III. etaVs'et railway, alt his
cdupssl, Cham ry Sucn.r, refusing 10
accept lee OF $40 900, has sud his
client for S25 900 Mkt time the ctiei t
should wat uutil his counsel gets % a. he'd
on the ralroae, sud then secure tao iab
Of conducting his suit fog daiGs.
| Twenty five Thousand dollars IL a lfr -
big isa, but 1T must be remember that
Harold will have 81 600 lett. This good
fortune dossp't slways happen clis1t il
a law NOrTisiotpu Heyah