Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-08-02
BRIGHT BITS.

No, DEAR CHILDREN, the drum-malor
is not the whole procession, but he thinks
he is.-Pack.
Cooks never attempt to cook melons
and cucumbers. They know how to spoil
all other eatable things.
THE Bloom of YOUTH comes in a
bottle: but the old topper gets the wrong
bottle, and the bloom he gets on his nose
is the bloom Of the rye, not Of youth.
CICERO said there is an eloQuence in
silence. Cicero evidently used TO crawl
up stairs in his stocking feet when he
came home from lodge.-Nelr York CODi-
mercidl- Advertiser.
Just my luck. = nOaned a Philadelphia
man. Here I've been paying heavy
premiums on a life insurance policy for
twenty years and I'm not dead YETI
Philadelphia Neies.
THE LAST Of the free springs at Sara
tOga has been fenced in and now nobody
can ''dTlnk the waters without paying Tor
them. Ii IS no object for newspaper men
10 go TO Saratoga now.
A LOWELL gentleman, who claims to
be neither an epicure nor poet, but VINO
is both. says that eating apple pie With
out cheese is like kissing girl without
squeeze.-L0ireU Citizen.
A DUDE passed down Merrimack street
the other afternoon and a small boy who
saw him at once called out to friend on
the other side, "Hi, Jimmie, dyer see
that: Where's the hand organ he belongs
to:"-LO}reU Citizen.
1T MAKES a man mad TO suddenly round
a corner, meet a richly dressed woman,
receive a charming bow, dot his hat
nearly TO the ground, and then discover
that he has been doing the polite to his
coOk.-DTdke's 1rdueleT'S Magazine.
on the street: ..Why. how happy you
look. Been left fOrtuneW mo. my
wife has just left town for summer
resort" Two weeks later: My gracious,
what's up: How miserable you look;
anybody dead:'' mo, my wife has been
away for two weeks. 1t seems most
year"
YES" said the wise hotel keeper, I'VE
only charge half rates for children. We
put lots Of pies and dOughnuts before
tnem and the little dears don't eat more
than one meal out Of three. L have no
sympathy with a man who tries to keep
children out Of his house. '-BOStOR Tran
script.
THERE is nothing so generous as wO-
mans generosity and none that gets less
public reward. 1t is not every teacher
that can get her name in the papers for
having '1kindly treated her pupils to
y
made the little ones chip IN ten cents
apiece for the hire of the moving wagon
Fan Rirer Adrance.
THE Judge has been favored with a
copy of a new paper, the Dairy, devoted
to the farming interests. 1t is neatly
gotten up sheet. and an early number con-
tanned an article headed: The benefit to
be derived from pure water" Such an
unexpected piece of candOr in paper de-
voted to the interests Of the dairymen
leads us to augur most hopefully for our
contemporary future.-Ibe Judge.
ATA BOARDING HOUSE in this city the
com pany were discussing English words
which cannot be rhymed with, such as
''silyer." chimney etc. The landlady
spoke out: "'COtfee' is another word for
which no rhyme has ever been discover
ed" Il beg your pardon" said Dumley,
who sat at the foot of the table, ''but l
know a word which rhymes with coffee
Yes" responded the landlady in an IN
terested manner, ''and what is it|
'Chiccory.' - Rochester Post Express.
MAJOR c. is exceedingly fond Of the
game of whist. On one occasion he was
speaking Of the way in which adverse
luck will sometimes pursue a man, and
remarked that he once played a whole
season at the White sulphur Springs and
never held a trump. Some one in the
company suggested that that was impOs-
sible, because he must have held at least
one trump every time he dealt the cards.
But the Major replied: Every time L
dealt it was a misdeal "-Edit0r'S Drdicer
Ia HdrpeT'S.