The daily gazette., 1883-08-21
THE TARfFr FIGHT.
How 1t was Vigorously settled BY Two
Gentlemen IN Arknnsas.

FArkansas Traveler.l
Last week the Mulkittle family went out
into the country to small watering place
where the water is brought In bucket up
steep hill. This place was not chosen ON
account of It's being a watering place or be-
cause it had any reputation as an invigor-
ating retreat, but because the old man who
owns the double log house on the top of the.
rugged hill extended 10 Mr.. Mulkittle an in
yitltion to come out and spend few weeks
with him. Ministers OF the gospel are US
ually kind and generous and gently lean
toward accepting anything in the nature OF
something to eat that you are mind TO
give them.
Nh. Mulkittle declared that "Rough
| Rock" the name Of the locality, was a
| charming place, and added that he would
| like to spend months instead of weeks
| among its carpets OF moss aud refreshing
vines Here Mrs. Jug2le, wife OF Colonel
Juggle, proprietor OF the place, sighed, and
| to disguise any intention Of disparagemeRt,
couRhed, burned her hand on the coffee
pot and passed the cornb read to young Mul
kittle.
Colonel Juggle is quite a politician, and
the next day after the minister's arrival, he
said:
"Parson, you appear to be mighty well
posted man; Pd like to know what you
think of the tariff"
81 have never studied the question very
closely, having devoted my time to the
gospel"
"But there's mighty powerful gospel
hltehed up with the tariff. l want a man
to be consistent In everything, and before
hear you preach I'd like to get your idea
on the question that is about to split the
country"
| The Rev. Mr.. Mulkittle was somewhat a,
loss. He was afraid to make u venture In
that he might antagonize the Colonel, but
finally he said:
81 think We ought to have some sort of a
tariff don't your
"That's where you're off. What the
deuce do we want with tariffs Want tc
grind down the poor to build up the rich
ehl''
81 mean that"
"Oh, YOU mean that you want to see the
great manufactures crush the lnen thai
work for 'em."
''You are mistaken, sir. l."
"No, sir; you mean that ought to pay
three prices for u moving machine"
"You are too fast" said the preacher
warming with the subject. 81 mean tina, a
duty ought to be imposed on certain ar
ticle, no SC much in view of the revenue de
rived as in view of protecting our home in
dustries from manufacturers who, by meant
of cheap labor and greater experience, cal
undersell us, thereby discouraging-"
"You talk like a bondholder, and be
lieye you are bought up"
"You don't know what you are talking
about"
"You are liar"
Mr.. Mulkittle and the Colonel sprant
simultaneously TO their feet and glared Al
| each other. "You are a liarv' reiterated
the Colonel.
Then the two gentlemen "clutched.
Mrs. Mukittle and Mrs, Juggle rushed int
the room and seeing their husbands engages
. in war, turned upon each other AM
'tclutched." Young Mulkittle and Tomm
Juggle, who had been playing in the yard
ran into the room, wheeled and ''clutched, !,
!. while the little sister Mulkittle, who wa
]. sitting on the floor, took up hair brus
p and gave baby Iuggle a crack over til
head. Mr.. Mulkittle "churned" the Cole
mel against the wall and ehoked MIN unit
: he wheezed like a split bellows. Mrs. Mu
} kittle and Mrs. Juggle ceased physic hos
tilities and resorted to that more effectiv
weapon, the tongue. Young Mulkittle Gu
a scollop on young Juggle's forehead with
blacking-box top, and little sister Mulkittl
raked comb across baby Juggle's nose
I | The struggle seemed to quit of its own az
I cord, for suddenly Mr.. Mulkittle found hin
# self walking i'll one direction, conscious thu
his adversary was walking in direction d
rectly opposite. They spoke not word
). parting, but when the Mulkittles climbs
( into the vehicle tn Colonel stood in Il
e yard and shook his fist at the crowd
q "What did you light aboutP asked Il
boy.
. "The internal tariff"
, "Where is i'll"
It 81 don't know anything about 1t. Hush.
E "If you don't know anything about |
what made you fight"
"Didn't | say hushl''
eyes, but ia like to see the tariff Is
: something about the Bible"
e Mr.. Muikttle gave his son such loo
: that the little fellow actually flew in
silence
y 1t won't do even for preachers TO discus
e the tariff. No one is safe where 1t is L
II subj ct of conversation.
L