The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-05-11
A "Per,su.l ), Parade.

1OI0yWAl u 0k00Os
Not long ago q personal advertise
ment appeared in q Chicago paper
somewhat as follows:
DERSONAI-WANTED THE ACQUAINT-
lady, by gentleman of flrst-class standing,
with means. Object, matrimony. Address K.
Forty-one answers were received by
Mr.. X. of all kinds and styles-some
daintily written and expressed, others
misspelled and folded with grimy fingers,
but all containing the assertion that it
was the first time the writer had ever
replied to a personal, and a few words
of description, such as: II am slender
and blonde" plump. with black hair
and dark eyes," etc. Many gave their
full names and addresses, while others
concealed their identity behind a post
office or fictitious address.
Mr.. x. replied to one, and requested
the writer to meet him on the steps of
McVicker's Theater the next afternoon,
carrying a magazine in her left hand as
a means of Identification. Punctually
to the minute she appeared and sta
toned herself upon the steps, gazing
anxiously around for the appearance Of
the gallant unknown. He, in the mean
time, was observing her from a distance,
but was far from being impressed by her
charms. Calling friend, they passed
and repassed her, coolly criticising and
quizzing her appearance, but not alfsw-
ing her to suspect that one of them was
the gentleman she expected.
After half an hours solitary watching
and waiting she abandoned her post,
and, mingling with the crowd, disap-
peared.
Mr.. X. viewed several of his CORES
pondents in this way at distance, but
as all fell far short of the standard of
beauty and refinement he desired, he
concealed his identity from all, and con-
cluded to wind up the affair with a
grand dress-parade of his forty-one fair
friends, and invited half dozen gentle
men to witness it. He then wrote a POI
lite note to each of the addresses he had
received, apologizing handsomely for
his non-appearance, with the plea of
unexpected business, to those with whom
he had already made an appointment.
He begged each one to meet him at
three o'clock Friday afternoon on the
north side of Randolph street, between
Dearborn and State, and taxed his inge-
nuity to suggest separate and distin-
gushing mark by which each one could
proclaim her identity. One he requested
to carry blue veil in her hand, another
to wear a green ribbon at her throat,
another to carry parcel wrapped in
newspaper, etc.
The stretch of sidewalk appointed for
the meeting was in plain view from the.
windows of Mr.. KS Office across the
street, and at the time appointed the
friends invited were on hand promptly
to see the parade. As the clock struck
three, the ladies began to appear, and
excitement reigned in the Office.
First came a stylishly-dressed little
widow. sauntering carelessly along, car
rying under her arm a huge newspaper
parcel at which she glanced from time
to time with evident disgust. Then APP
peared from the other direction tall,
dignified young lady, who wore at her
throat green bow, large enough to
decorate an entire st. Patrick Day pro-
cession. The blue veil also duly made
its appearance, carried by an elderly,
woman, who was so de-
termined to make the acquaintance of
her correspondent that she fingered on
the block till dark, waving her blue
banner at times as if to summon the re-
creant knight to her side. But all in
vain; the shades of night fell at last like
a pail upon the city, and upon her
hopes, and as Mr.. X. passed her on his
way home to dinner she was Just turn
ing to abandon the spot.
Thirty ladies of all ages and STYLES
in response to the appoint
ment, and the fun in the office waxed
fast and furious. The notes were spread
upon the window-sills, with the ap-
pointed signals penciled upon each, and
the gentlemen enjoyed the piquant sit
uation to the utmost, shouting with
laughter at the appealing, inquiring
chances cast by each lady at the gentle
men hurrying past, with such complete
and comical Inconsistencies of her
companions in misfortune.
One young lady had been requested to
twirl her glove in her right hand, and,
as she had come in all the way from
La Grange to keep the appointment,
she was evidently resolved that there
should be no mistake as to her identity,
so she marched back and forth for
of an hour twirling that
glove with energy sufficient to have
raised two hundred pounds fifty feet,
If properly applied. or to have fed half
q dozen electric lamps.
The parade and the maneuvering were
pronounced a grand success by the
spectators, and continued with no break
IN the ranks for about thirty minutes.
Then the widow pitched her newspaper
bundle into the street and walked brisk
" off, the rest following her example in
he course of the next half-hour. When
all but the damsel with the blue veil
mad departed the gentlemen threw all
he notes into the fire, and they sepa-
rated, after passing a vote of thanks to
Mr.. X. for his delightful and novel en-
Thus endeth the history
IF the personal, every word of which is
rue, with the exception of the locality
as will be certified by any
one of the gentleman spectators in the
office, or of the forty-one ladies who an
'wered the Understandable Chicago
Tribune.