The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1883-05-09
THE BAD BOY.

said the grocery man to the bad boy, a.
he came into the grocery on crutehes
with one arm in a sling, one eye black
ened, and strip of eourt.plRster across
one side of his face. where was tnt
explosion, or have you been In light
Or has your pa been giving you what
you deserve with clubp Here, let me
help you. There, sit down on that kep
OF applPjsek. Well, by the great guns
you look as though you had called some
body q liar. What's the matterp and
the grocery man took the cTutches and
stood them up against the showcase.
O"0h, there's not much the matter with
me-. said the boy, in voice that sound
ed all broke up, as he took big apple
on basket and began peeling 1T with
his upper front teeth. "lf you think
am wreck you ought to see the minis
ter. They had to carry him home In in
stallments, the way they buy sewing
machines. l am all right, but they have
got to stop him up with Oakum and
tar before ha will ever hold water
again."
7"GoOd graciousI you have not had a
fight with the minister, have your Well,
l have said all the time, and stick tOit,
that you wOuld commit a crime yet, and
go TO State Prison. What was the fuss
abOutP' and the grocery man laid the
hatchet out Of the boys reach for fear
he would get excited and kill him.
"0y 1t wasn't no fuss. 1t was in the
way of business. You see the livery man
that was working for promoted me.
He let me drive horse to haul sawdust
for bedding, first, and when he found
was real careful he let me drive an ex-
press wagon to haul trunks. Day before
yesterday, think 1t was-(yes, was in
bed all day yesterdayl--day before yes
terdRy there was a funeral, and our
stable furnished the outfit. 1t was only
let me go to drive the horse for the
minister-yOu know, the buggy thai
goes ahead of the hearse. They gave me
an old horse that is thirty years old;
that has not been Off walk since nine
years ago, and they told me to give him
a loose rein, and he would go along all
right. It's the same old horse that used
to pace so fast on the avenue years ago,
but | didn't know 1t. Well,I wasn't to
blame. 1 just let him walk along as
though he was hauling sawdust, and
gave him a loose rein. When we got of
OF the pavement the fellow that drives
the hearse he was in hurry, cause his
folks was going to have ducks for din
ner, and he wanted to get back, so he
kept driving along side OF my buggy
and telling me to hurry up. l wouldn't
do it, cause the livery man told me to
walk the horse. Then the minister got
nervous, and said he didn't know az
there was any use OF going so slow, be-
cause he wanted to get back in time TO
get his lunch and go to ministers
meeting In the afternoon, but told him
we would all get to the cemetery soon
enough II we took 1t cool, and as for me
was in no sweat. Then one of the dri
Vers that was driving the mOurners came
up and said he had to get back in TIM
to run wedding down to the O'Clock
train, and for me to pull out little. |
have seen enough of disObeying orders,
and told him funeral In the hand was
worth two weddings i'll the bush, and as
far as was concerned, this funeral was
going to be conducted in decOrOus
manner If we didn't get hack till next
day. Well, the minister said in his reg
ular Sunday-schOol way, My little man
let me take hold Of the lines and like
a darn fool gave them to him. He slap
ped the old horse on the crupper with
the lines, and then jerked up, and the
old horse stuck up, his off ear, and then
the hearse driver told the minister To
pull hard and saw on the bit little, and
the old horse would wake up. The hearse
driver used to drive the old PAGER on the
track, and he knew what he wanted.
The minister took off his black kid gloves
and put his umbrella down between US,
and pulled his hat down tight on his
head, and began to saw and pull on the
bit. The old cripple began to move along
sort Of sideways, like a hog going to
war, and the minister pulled some more
and the hearse driver, who was right
behind. said you could hear him clear to
'Yee-e-up, and the old horse
kept going faster, then the minister
thought the procession was getting too
fast, and he pulled harder. and yelled
whoa and that made the old horse
worse, and looked through the little
In the buggy top, behind, and
The hearse was about two blocks behind,
and the driver was laughing, and the
minister got pale and said, my little
man, guess you had better drive and
said, Not much, Mary Ann, you would |
not let me run this funeral the way ]
wanted to. and now you can boss IL ii
YOu will let me get out but there was d
street car ahead, and all Of q sudden |
here was an earthquake, and when ]
came too, there were about 600 people |
pouring water down my neck, and the 1
learse was hitched to the fence, and the |
learse driver was asking II my leg was ]
broke, and policeman was tanning the |
with plug hat that looked as |
,0Ou8n II nau Db6u bbTuCh ny d plRo uHi-
yer, and some people were hauling our |
buggy into the gutter, and some men
we're trying to take the old PAGER out OF |
The windows of the street car, and then
guess tainted away agin. Oh. 1t was |
worse than telescOping a train loaded
With CATTLE" ta
well, / swan" said the grocery man,
as he put some eggs in a funnel-shaped |
brown paper for servant girl. what |
lid the minister say when he come tO?" |
"Sayl What could he say?S He just
yelled whoa" and kept saving with |
lls hands as though he was driving.
heard that the policeman was going to |
pull him for fast driving till he found |
1ut 1t was an accident. They told me
when they carried me home in a hack 1
hat 1t was a wonder every body was
lot killed, and when got home pa was |
sOing to sass me, until the hearse-driVer
old him 1t was the minister, that was |
20 blame. want to ind>0ut if they gOt |
he minister's umbrella back. The last |
see of it the umbrella was running up
lis trousers leg and the point come out |
~ the small of his back. But am all |
light, only my shoulder sprained, and
ny legs bruised, and my eye black. |
will be- all right and shall go TO work |
cause the livery man says |
vas the only one in the crowd that had
lnY sense. / understand the minister