Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-08-10
Neat Rebukcs.

A iebuke may sometimes be very effect
lively put into practical form. Thus, Mt
time when there was a heavy duty upon
French gloves, packet addressed to the
French ambassador having accidentally
come undone, the Custom House authori-
ties discovered that it consisted Of gloves,
whereupon they sent it on as an unpaid
post letter and though the double post
age amounted to more than the single
duty it was paid without comment. Very
neat and characteristic, IN the way of
practical rebukes, was that of Talleyrand,
to faithful but too inquisitive conii,len-
tial servant whom he saw from the win
dow OF his apartment coolly reading
letter intrusted to him to deliver. On the
next day similar commission was coniid-
ed to the servant, and to the second letter
was added postscript couched in the fol-
lowing terms "You can send verbal
well acquainted with the Whole iaiffiaiiia,,
having taken the precautlon to read this
previous to its delivery"
Dean Ramsay, in his "Reminiscences,
tells similar and equally characteristic
story of an old Forfarshire lady. She
knew the weakness of her man servant,
and when she wished n note to be taken
without delay, held it open, and read it
over to him, saying: "There, moo, An
drew, ye ken a that's isn't, moo dinna
stop to open it, but just send it of. "
Not bad in its way, either, was Lord
Chesterfield's practically humorous re-
buke of the craze for having far-reaching
portrait galleries of ancestors. In his
own gallery he placed two old heads, in
scribed respectively Adam de Stanhope
and Eve de Stanhope.
;,,l, &C lao
| finest examples is that attributed to DR..
South. Once when preaching before
Charles H., he observed that the monarch
aud several of his attendants had fallen
asleep. Presently one of the latter be-
gan to snore, whereupon the bishop broke
off his sermon, and exclaimed "Lord
Lauderdale, l am sorry to interrupt your
repose, but let me entreat you not to
snore so loud lest you awaken his Males-
ty." Less indirect, but more severe, was
a rebuke said to have been spoken from
the pulpit by q dissenting minister of
modern times. While he was preaching
he was annoyed by some young people i'll
the congregation whispering and gig
Cling. He paused, looked at the disturb
ers, and said 81 am always afraid to re-
prove those who misbehave themselves
for this reason ; Some years since, when
| was preaching, a young man who sat be-
fore me was constantly laughing, talking
and making uncouth grimaces. Ipaused
and administered severe rebuke. After
the close of the service a gentleman said
to me "Sir you have made great
mistake. That young man whom You re-
proved is an IDIOT Since then | have
always been afraid to reprove those who
misbehave themselves in chapel, lest
should repeat that mistake and reprove
another idiot. During the rest of the
service, the story concludes, there was
good order.
Incisive and dry, as becomes its nation
atty, was the rebuke of the Scotch shep-
herd to Lord Cockbum Of Bonaly. That
nobleman was sitting on the hillside with
the shepherd and observing the sheep
reposing in the coolest situation, he said
to him : John, if [ were sheep
would lie on the other side of the hill.
The shepherd answered AYE, my
lord but if ye had been a sheep, ye would
hae had mair sense"
/ Less epigrammatically neat but more
t richly deserved was the following rebuke
t to an unnamed lord, quoted in Selden's
Table Talk" "a great lord and n gem
S tlemau talking together, there came boy
by leading calf with both his hands.
Says the lord to the gentleman, You
( shall see me make the boy let so his calf.
e With that he came toward him, thinking
{ the boy would have put off his hat, but
/ the boy took no notice of him. The lord
: seeing that, 'Sirrah ! says he, do you no
, know me that you use no reverence :?
) Yes, says the boy, III your lordship will
+ hold my calf l will put off my hat, ,"