Middletown transcript., 1883-03-09
PECK's BAD BOY.
HIS PAS MARVELLOUS EsCAPE-HOW
HE sCANDALIZED THE CHURCH.

the store one cold morning, leaving the
door open, and picked up cigar stub
that had been thrown down by the
stove and began to smoke it. Want
to rub it on pas legs" said the boy.
"Why, what is the matter with your
pas legs, rheumatism 2"
"Wuss nor rheumatism said the
boy, as lie threw away the cigar stub
and drew some cider in a broken tea
cup. "Pa has got the worst looking
hind legs you ever saw. You see,
since there has been so many fires, pa
has got offul scared, and he has bought
three fire escapes, made out Of rope with
knots in them, and he has been telling
us every day how he could rescue the
whole family in case of fire. He told
us to be cool, whatever happened, and
to rely on him. If the house got on fire
we were all to run to pa, and he would
save US. Well, last night ma had to 60
to one of the neighbors, and we didn't
sleep much, cause ma had to come
home twice in the night to get saffron,
and an old flannel petticoat that I broke
in when I was kid, cause the people
where ma went did not know as twins
was on the bill Of fare, and they only
had flannel petticoats for one. Pa was
cross at being kept awake, and told ma
he hoped when all the children in town
were born, and got grown up, she would
take in her sign and not 60 around
nights acting as usher to baby mat
inees. Pa says there ought to be law
that babies should arrive on the regular
day trains, and not wait for the mid
night express. Well, pa lie got asleep,
and he slept till about eight o'clock in
the morning, and the blinds were closed
and it was dark in his room, and had
waited for my breakfast till | was hun
gry as a wolf, and the girl told me to
wake pa up; so went upstairs, and |
don't know what made me think of it,
but had some Of this powder they
make red fire with in the theatre, that
me and my chum had the Fourth OF
July, and put it in a wash dish in the
bath room, and / touched it off and
followed fire. | was going to wake up
pa and tell him it was all right, and
laugh at him. | guess there was too
much fire, or yelled too loud, cause pa
jumped out Of bed and grabbed rope
and rushed through the hall toward the
back window that goes out on shed.
I tried to say something but pa ran
over me and told me to save myself,
and / got to the back window to tell
him there was no fire just as he let him
self out Of the window. He had one
end of the rope tied to the end Of the
wash stand, and he was climbing down
the back side Of the shed by the kitchen,
and he had nothing on but his night
shirt, and he was the horriblest looking
object ever was, with his legs flying
and trying to stick his toe nails into
the rope and the side Of the house. I
don't think man looks well in society
with nothing on but his night shirt. /
didn't blame the hired girls for being
scared when they saw pa and bis legs
come down outside the window, and
when they yelled I went down to the
kitchen, and they said crazy man
with no clothes but pillow case arouEa
his neck was trying to kick the VIZ
dow in, and they run into the parlor,
and | opened the door and let pa in the
kitchen. He asked me if anybody else
was saved, and then / told him there
was no fire, and he must have dreamed
he was in hades or somewhere. Well,
pa was astonished, and said he must be
wrong in the head, and I left him thaw-
ing himself by the stove while went
after his pants. He lays it all to ma,
and says if she would stay at home and
people run their own baby shows, there
would be more comfort in the house.
Ma came in with shawl over her head
and a bowl full Of something that
smelled frowy, and after she had told us
what the result Of her visit was, she
sent me after vasaline to rub on pa
legs. Pa says he has demonstrated
that if a man is cool and collected, in
case Of fire, and goes deliberately at
work to save himself, he will come out
all right
Well, you are the meanest boy |
ever heard Of" said the grocery man.
"But what about your pas dancing a
clog dance in church Sunday. The
minister's hired girl was in here after
some Goldfish yesterday morning, and
she said the minister said your pa had
scandalized the church the worst
way"
"Oh he didn't dance in church. He
was little excited, that's all. You
CCC1 pCt CilGho lODtGCO, uAIu 1t ID pIGIIy
hard on him to sit all through the ser
mon without taking a chew, and he gets
nervous. He always reaches around in
his pistol pocket, when they stand up
to sing the last time, and feels in his
tobacco box and gets out a chew, and
puts it in his mouth when the minister
pronounces the benediction, and then
when they get out doors he is all ready
to spit. He always does that. Well,
my chum had a present, on Christmas,
Of music box, just about as big as pa i
tobacco box, and all you have to do is
to touch spring and it plays. "She's
a Daisy, She's a Dumplin. borrowed
it and put it in pas pistol pocket,
where he keeps his tobacco box, and
when the choir got most through sing
ing pa reached his hand in his pocket
and began to tumble around for a chew.
| Ha tnuchnd tho Snrin0 apd iuc+ IL