Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1883-11-09

probably run by . crank.
MR. GEORGE SICKLE and Miss Emma Grain
have just been married in Bon Homme county.
"What will the harvest be?"
PRINCESS BEATRICE is on the war path for q
handsome and wealthy husband" Exchange
For heavens sake ! Is she headed this way?
snow, Lord, if you will give me your atten-
ton lust q moment" is the manner in which
Montana minister began prayer last Sunday.
THE once celebrated DR.. Tanner has taken
board IN q second class boarding house in Wash.
inpton. How that man does delight in starving
himself!
MONTANA miner who has been prospecting
for fifteen years has just married negro woman
and tells his intimate friends that he has struck
color at last.
READER of the TRIBUNE asks: "Where is
the cotton belt of the United States?" Dunno.
Wasn't aware the pesky stuff had got down as
low as the belt yet.
Mr., MATHEW ARNOLD brought only three lec-
tures with him, and if he doesn't fire them off
too often the people will try to think kindly OF
him after he is gone.
IT is 30 dry in Florida that local paper AYERS
that alligators can often be seen galloplng
around on land trying to get up q little damp
ness in the shape of sweat.
Chicago Inter Ocean "A Buffalo man has gone
insane from the contemplation of the lawful
ness of space" His malady began while acting
"A night editor of morning newspaper.
DAVENPORT, Iowa, is to have noon paper. This
will give aggrieved persons ample time to come
around and lick the editor and pay their fines
and not be obliged to lay in the calaboose all
night.
A CHICAGO girl has sued doctor for $4,000
for iniuring her hair. This is exorbitant. She
can get new crop for $40 from any respectable
dealer. Chicago girls are very queer critic rs
however.
MINNEAPOLIS has q cat with two heads and
when it gets up on a back fence and sings 90
prano with one of them and tenor with the
other the cats and catesses for blocks around
ait in silent awe and wonder what the deuce the
world is coming to.
CLEVELAND doctor claims to have succeeded
in bringing intelligence and health to an idiot
by means Of electricity. If bolt OF lightning
should drop into the Chamberlain Register
Office who knows but it might bring poor John
Henry King around all right again.
ONLY scarlet polo caps wi II be worn by young
ladies this winter. for sleighing, skating or
valking.-IFall River (Mass) Advance. Will
the Advance please repeat this item There
surely must be mistake in it somewhere. The
Door creatures would freeze to death in that
costume.
PHILADELPHIA CALL: A Philadelphia man,
in sleeping car, went through terrible accis
dent in which the sleeping car rolled down an
'embankment. without waking. 1t was noticed,
however, that as the car struck the bottom he
murmured, ''Don't Jane, don't; I'll get up and
start the fire."
A PROVINCIAL tradesman having eaten an ex-
oellent dinner at Paris restaurant, the other
day, deliberately blew out his brains and ex-
pired at the table. In front of him was found
a piece of paper containing these significant OBJ
servations: 'Oysters are good for the stomach;
old wine tends to prolong life; but politics are
the bane of existence. Therefore I kill my
self.'' The waiter cannot be too severely CEN
sured for serving politics to q man of his tenn
perament- Or, perhaps, they were not cooked
to suit him.
ABOU BEN BUTLER.
Abou Ben Butler (may his tribe decrease)
Awoke one evening from dream OF peace,
And saw within the dim light of his room
A demon writing in the gathering gloom.
Rising before him with his arms afold,
IExoaoainn heer had made Ben Butler bOldl