The weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1883, 1883-04-04
GOOD rEMPLARs.
The Bad Boy Makes an Attempt
at Reforming his Father.
Nhnss Psck's Sun.

The 6a0 BOY MAKES An At1GIA1Pt
'' at Reforming his Father.
iss;}s1Esi. - ~ 49, issia
Espm PscPs Sun.
1Don't you think my pa is showing his
aee q good deal more than usual?" asked
thehAd boy of the grocery man, as ne
toof 5 smoked herfing out Of the box
and peeled of the skin with jack-knife,
ana split open and ripped out the back
bone. threw the bead at the cat, and
took some crackers and began to eat.
'aeaWeli; I dom know but he does look
~ though he wasS Sstting old" said the
grocery man, as he took piece ofyellow
Wrapping paper and charged the
boys poor old father with dozen her
rings and pound Of crackers. But
there's no wonder he is getting old. l
tell you, boy, when your father is dead,
and you get stepfather, and he makes
you walk chalk mark, you will realize
what bonanza you have fooled yourself
ont ofby killing off your father. The
way figure it, your father will last about
six months, and you ought to treat him
right the little time he has to live
Well, am going to say" said the boy
as he picked the herring bones out Of his
teeeh jlA a1iece Of . match that he
had sha IA with his knife. "But 1
don't believe in borrowing trouble about
j . stepfathersc 80 long beforehand. don't
think ma could get man to step into
pas shoes, as long as ! live, not if she
was inlaid with diamonds and owned q
brewery. There are brave men, know,
that are on the marry, but none of them
would want to be brevet father to a cher
ubim like me except he got pretty good
wages. And then, since pa was dissected
he is going to lead different life, and l
guess will make man Of him if he
holds out. We got him to join the good
;templars last night"
mo, you don't tell me" said the gro
Gerry man, as he thought that his trade
in cider for mince pies would be cut of.
$50 you got him into the good templars,
did your"
swell, he thinks he has joined the
good templars; 20 it is all the same. You
see, my chum and me have been going
to private gymnasium, on the west side
kept by Dutchman, and in a back room
he has all the tools for getting upmuscle.
There, look at my arm," said the boy, as
he rolled up his sleeve and showed a
muscle about as big as an oyster. "That
is the result of training at gymnasium.
Before took lessons hadn't any more
muscle than you have got. Well, the
Dutchman was going to dance on the
south side the other day, and he asked
Ny chum to tend the gymnasium, and I
told pa if he would join the good temp
lars that he would not be embarrassed,
and a. I was one Of the officers of the
lodge I would put it to him light, and he
said he would go, 90 my chum got five
boys to help us put him through. So we
steered him to the gymnasium, and made
him rap on the storm door outside, and
said. 'Who comes there?' and he said
It was pilgrim who wanted to join our
sublime order. asked if he had made
up his mind to turn from the ways Of a
hyena and adopt the customs Of the truly
rood, and he said il he knew his own
heart he had, and then told him to
come in out Of the snow and take off his
pants. He kicked little at taking off
his pants, because it was cold out there
in the storm, but told him they all had
to do it-that princes, potentates and
paupers all had to come to it. He asked
me how it was when we initiated women,
and told him woman never took this
degree. He pulled off his pants and
wanted check for them, but told him
the grand mogul would hold his clothes,
and then blindfolded him and with
baseball club pounded on the floor as
Iwalked him around the gymnasium,
while the lodge, headed by my chum,
sung, "We won't 60 home till morning"
Then stopped in front Of the ice-water
tank and said: Grand worthy duke, I
bring before you pilgrim who has
drunk of tho dregs until his stomach
won't hold water, and he desires to swear
Off The grand mogul asked me if he
was worthy and well qualified, and 1
told him that be had been drunk more
or less since the reunion last summer,
and that ought to qualify him. Then
the grand mogul made pa repeat the
most blood-curdling oath, in which pa
agreed, if he ever drank another drop, to
ALLOW anybody to pull his toe-nails out
with tweezers, to have his liver cut out
and fed to dogs, his head chopped off and
his eyes removed. Then the mogul said
we would brand the candidate on the
bare skin with the initial letters of our
order, g. T. that al might read how a
brand had been snatched from the burn
ing. You'd died to see pa finch when
pulled up his shirt and got ready to
brand him. My chum got piece of ice
out of the water cooler, and just as he
clapped it onto pas back burned apiece
of horses hoof in the candle and held il
to pas nose, and I guess pa actually
thought it was his burning skin that he
,smelled. He jumped about six feet and
said, Great heavens, what you dewin',
and then he began to roll over barrel
which 7 had arranged for him. Pa
thought he wasgoing down cellar, and
he hing TO the barrel, but he was on tor
half the time. Then I said, BE calm
and prepare yourself for the ordeal that
is to follow He wiped the perpiratior
off his face on the end of his shirt, and
and we put belt around his body and
bitched it to tackle and pulled him sc
=. his feet were just off the floor, and then
we talked as though we were away off
and I told my chum to look out that pc
did not hit the gas fixtures, and pa actu'
ally thought he was being hauled clear
up to the ceiling. I could see he was
: scared by the complexion Of his hands
and feet as they clawed the. air. He
actually sweat 80 that the drops fell on
the floor. Bimeby we let him down and
he was awfllly relieved, although his
feet were not more than two inches from
the floor at any time. We were lust 90.