Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1883-02-22

TIC deacons started out, and then
l poured the two quart tin pail full
OF soft soap on the front step. 1t
wes this white soap, just the color
of the step, and when got it spread
| went down in the basement. The
visitors came GU. and pa was trying
to explain to them about IIoylo,
when one of the deacons stepped in
the soap, and bis feet few up and he
struck on his pants and slid down
the steps. The minister said great
heavens, deacon are you hurt? Lei
me assist you, and he took two quick
steps, and you have seen these fell
lows in e nigger show that kick Zach
ether head over heels and fall on
their ears, and stand On their heads
and turn round like q top. The
ministers feet slipped and the next
/ paw he was standing on his head
in bis hat, and his legs were sort Of
wiltsd and fell limp by his eide, and
he fell over on his stomach. You
talk about spreading the gosple in
heather lands. 1t Is nothing the
way you can spread it with two
quarts Of soft soap. The minister
didn't look pious bit, when he was
trying 60 catch ths railing. He
looked as though he wanted to muir
der every man on earth, but i. may
be he was tired. Well, pa was par
alyEed, and he and the other deacon
rushed out to pick up the minister
and when they struck the step they
went kiting. Pas feet somehow
slipped backward, and he turned 4
summersault and struck full length
on HE back, aud enc heel was across
the minister's neck, and he slid down
the steps, and the other deacon fell
all over the other three, and pr swoye
at them, and It was the worst look
ing lot of pious people l ever saw. /
think il the minister had been in the
woods somewhere, where nobody
could have heard him, he would have
used language. They all scanned
mad at each other. The hired girl
told ma there was three tramps. out
on tho sidewalk fighting pa, end ma
she took tho broom and started to
help ps, and tried to 'ssop ma,
cause her constitution il not very
strong and ! did not want her to do
any tying trapeze business, bat !
couldn't stop her, and she went cut
with the broom and 3 toinsl tied
around her head. Well, I don't
knolo where ma did strike, but lohen
she came in she said she had palpi-
tatIon of the heart, but that IL not the
place ohere put the arnica. Q, but
she did go through the air like a bull
let through sheese, and aohen she
cent dolon the steps, bumpity-bump
! felt sorry for ma. The minister
had got SO he could set up on the
side,oalk with his back against the
10 err step, When ma came sliding
do IA, and one OF the heels Of her
CATERS hit the minister in the hair,
and the other foot went right through
between his arms and his side, and
the broom like to push his teeth
d0 IN his throat. But he was not
mad ct ma. AS soon as be saw it
vas ma he said, Why, sister, the
wicked stand in slippery places,
don't they, and ma she was mad and
said for him to let go her stocking,
and then pa was mad and he said,
1ook-a-hore, you sky-pilot, this thing
has gone far enough and then a
policeman came along and first he
thought they We're all drunk, but he
found they were respectable, and he
got o chip and scraped the soap off
of them, and they went home, and
pa and ma they got in the house
some way, and just thea the letter
carrier came along; but he didn't
have any letters for us, and he did
MT come onto the steps. and then !
wentup stairs and said, "Pa, don't
you think it is real mean, after you
and | fixed the soap on the steps for
the letter carrier, he didn't come en-
the steps at'all," and pa vas scraping
the soap of his pants with piece of
single, and the hired girl was put
ting liniment on ma, and heating it in
for palpitation Of the heart, and pa
said. "You dam idjut, no more of
this, or III maui the liver out of you
and ] asked him if he didn't think
soft soap would help moustach to
grow and he picked up mas work
basket and threw it at my head, as