The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-09-15
The Daily Bulletin.
The Plug Hat Fever.

The Plug Hat Fever
"liaye you ever been attacked with
the plug hat fever?' asked an old cen
tlcman the other evening, and, without
waiting for reply, went on to relate
his own experience, and to tell the re-
suit OF his own observations. II never
knew young man who. when he had
reached an age between eighteen and
twenty-five, but what he had the plug
nat fever to a greater or less severity
lie VIII suffer great deal, too, before
1t breaks out, and he gets tile on his
head. Then he suffers severely for sew
eral days after he gets the hat, and he
IL conceited enough TO believe the eyes
OF the whole world are upon him. He
Will wish for the first day or two he
hadnt got ii, and then again he Il pluck
up grit enough to wear it in spite Of ev-
erythng Next to the mustache ambi-
ton, the plug hat fever strikes to the
very vitals, The first symptoms Of the
FEVER makes It's presence known by the
victims visiting some hat store, and
trying on half dozen silk hats, and
looking admiringly at himself in mir
ror He will put it on square, then cock
il over to the right side, then hang it on
his left ear, and smile with satisfaction
at the image Of himself under the hat in
the mirror. A young calf under new
shcd could not feel prouder OF itself
than the young man with goose down
on his upper lip, when he first bcholds
his manly brow in a looking-gla,s, sup
porting a shiny silk hat. It's too over
coming for anything, and in a great
many Instances it is more overcoming
than becoming. But then they must
have EN- no matter about the price
Finally the hat is purchased, pu, in
hat-bOX and conveyed TO the Young
mans room with the greatest Of care
and fond expectations, Of the manincss
II will give the wcarcr in the near fu-
ture, For week, maybe he will ex-
erclse the hat by wearing il in his room
for few hours every evening. Finally
he gets his courage 10 the proper pitch.
and on an suspicious Sunday evening
starts for churcn with the hat setting
nicely on the top Of his head He knew
he would attract attention and the first
street urchln be meets calls attention 10
1t by shouting shoot the hat Now,
how did that young heather come TO
notice anything new or novel in the hat?
II Is easily explained. When a man
wears plug hat on the street for the
first time he gives himself away by his
m-On-drcss- parade air. He will walk
as carefully As though trying TO balance
pail Of water on his head and expect
lng every moment that it will tip of
and douse him 1t don't squeak Ike
new shoe 10 attract attention, but il
stiiien, up the spine in an unusual
aud unnatural degree 1t takes several
public appearances in the new plug to
again timber up the spine TO It's nor
maj condition. Arriving at church the
young man hc,itatcs for an instant
about going in, but remembering an
appointment 10 see u Young lady home.
he braces up, sttily holdS the de,ermin.
ed-tO-attract-atle silk hat over his
right fore arm, he mentally >wcar- ven
gcance on the usher who prauces him
up to the front pew in the center OF the
church for no other purpose than tocail
attention, in bis mind, to the new plug.
Eight out Of ten frst-time-I -worc-a-
plug-hat young men will become 50 a.
itated that instead Of putting the hat on
the floor out OF the way, will place it on
the seat and forget to remove it when
the usher shows some one else in for the
sole purpose, in his mind, OF having
them sit on it and wreck it, It's good
thing 10 have the first pIug wrecked in
this way, because the first hat has cot
to be wrecked but it is generally done
by some kind friend VINO sncaks up be-
hind, lambs it down over your ears and
is away before yon fairly understand
brick block hasn't tumbed onto YOU.
A plug hat is probably the most dre,Sy
hat, but heavens. now man suffers
when the fever first fully develops itself
10 head.
just As the story was finished a young
fellow with skin tight pants tooth.pick
shoes, arms curved so As to make his
body look as though it was a parenthe-
sis, with pipe-stem cane in the fingers
of his right hand, while a shiny, latest
loud style of plug hat wa, on his head,
passed. Poor fellow" remarked the
old man as he passed into the hotel, III
he only had brains enough to cover the
point of a cambria needle his hat would
be quite becoming. They all get the
brain fever though regardless of brains
--Peck'S Sun.