Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-02-02
rETH sND PoFNT.

4 JkMII4IsI. 1QYefUlSefS GnaI ne mas
some precious stones Tor disposal, add
us that "they sparkle like the tears Of
yJgEg widow
A LITTLE fellow in primary school
MAS asked by his teacher t. spell the
Noed knife After he had correctly done
20, he added, "Butwhat's the Z for?"
A Roy who discovered cucumber
growing on the vines, ran excitedly in
TO the house exclaiming: Mamma,
mamma, we've got a pickle on our
squashl"
"WHAT can [ do for you to induce you
to go to bed now?" asked a mamma Of
her 5-year-old boy "You can let me sit
up little longer" was the youngsters
response.
A MAN asked for admission to show
for half-price, as he had but one eye.
But the manager told him that it would
take him twice as long to see the show
as it would anybody else, and charged
him double.
well, I swan, Billy" said an old
farmer to an understood nephew who
was visiting him, when you take off
that ere plug hat and spit two or three
times there amt much left of you, is
there?"
"YoUR father tells me, Tom, that you
are taking soft courses this year. What
are they?" "Well, you see, mother, it's
a term borrowed from the turf A soft
course is a heavy course, and heavy
course is hard course. See ?"-HdT
card LGmpoo21
EVEN the cold Watchdog Of the
Treasury" with the Nations millions
behind him, could not assume the mali
giant expression Of jealous vigilance
which is worn by an old hen studiously
sitting on a broken lumber and two
doorknobs.
"BATHEr' exclaims Miss Culture. Of
Boston, who was at Swampscott No,
indeed Do you think I would expose
myself to the gaze Of those vulgar, ig-
norant people on the beach? Why, not
one of them is a subscriber to the at
l01atic Monthly"
a NEW book is called "How TO Keep
Store" 1t is work Of several hundred
pages, and life is too short to read it.
The best way to keep a store is to adj
vertise judiciously, and thus prevent it
falling into the hands of the Sheriff
NorriStOaU4e Herald
One day we had some Dutch cheese
on the table, and [ asked Mary if she
would have some. She answered, eff
you please" Willie, two years younger,
was asked the same question. He didn't
want any, but wishing to be as polite as
his cousin, made low bow, and said,
eff you not please"
$50 YOUR business is picking up, eh %
said a facetious cobbler to a rag-picker,
who had just commenced operations on
an ash barrel in front of his shop door.
eyes, and I see yours is mending !"
quickly replied the ragged urchin,
glancing at the dilapidated boot in the
cobbler's hand.-Yo'aker's Statesman.
"MUsIco."- You ask how we pro-
nounce piano-forte. We are not exactly
certain whether the best ueage author
ICES four or five syllables; but friend
of ours, who is well up in such matters,
as he lives in community thickly pop
ulated by the piano-forte, pronounces it
as q COMPOUNDED nuisance.-BOStO2o
Transcript.
RUSTIC critic Ito artist painting out of
doors). "Now, that's real kinder natter
al, amt it? But what makes We waste
yer time over them darned old ellum
trees? Ye'd ought to. go right up back
here onter SINNERS hill, where ye
could see som,t ling sorter interestin'-
the town, an the Baptis' meetin' house,
an the new brick high skule."
A LITTLE 4-year-old frequently went to
the meadow with her father when he
showed visitors his superior cattle, of
which he was proud One day, she
wished to show visitor her chickens,
of which she, too, was proud. While
they were standing by the coop, size
said: 81 wish [ had more of then.
cause they are so very booful. But I've
only got five head OF hens. You can
count them for yourself"
FASHIONABLE women who are adj
dicted to dogs, now make their little dar-
lngs robes of the same material as
their own dresses, so the pair are exact
ly matched Intellectual and socially.
A man habitually tied to a dog is a
boundless nuisance whom 'twere base
fattery to hit with a ciu5, but woman
dogomaniac IS infinitely worse. You
can kick mans dog ont o the house,
but when woman mlic5 s. social call
On you with her doc. uo the house
that fea-bitten yeipar IN es, scratches
the tides and sleeps ~ the sofa and
cnaws the ottoman. mi : ere's a social
revolution unless you lile'' to enjoy it.
--HaWkege.