The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-06-30
THE LIME-KILN CLUE.

Brother Gardeners Lecture on the Pro-
priety of Not Exceeding Your Income
Detroit Frae Press.
Am Purveyor Hopewell in de hall dis
eavenin?' asked Brother Gardner, IS the
meeting was called to order.
Yes, sah' replied voice from the back
row of seats.
Den please step dis wav"
Brother Hopewell shu1led forward with
mixed look of hope and doubt on his face.
He couldn't make out whether he was to be
rewarded for pulling a stranger out of the
river the other day, or court-maruaed for
having a wheel-barrow in his possession
which three different men claimed to hav.
been stolen from them.
"Brudder Hopewell," continued the Presi-
dent, as great silence fell apOn the meeting,
de odder day met you down street, an |
shouldn't nave knowd who you was if Pickles
Smith hadn't identified you. You had on a
suit OF toys dat mus have cost S40'
Yes sah."
You had ha'r lie on yer hair, you smelt of
pertumery, and yer card cane"
Yes Sah.'
when you walked you acted like man
who owned half de town, an when you stop
pea you struck pose to show off yer figger.
brudder Hopeweli, how much money does
you arm a week"'
Bout So sah"
An how much am you behind on
board?"
I'LL s'pects lie bout chen, sah"
"Brudder Hopewell, you am in debt fur
board, fur cloze, fur butes, fur cigars, an
you has borrowed money which you can't
pay has had my eye on you fur de pas
three months an | knows all about it. Now,
den, " no am your
"PurYeyor Hopewell, sah."
Zactly, 'zactly. You am a single man,
twenty-five years old, second-class barber,
not Wort $40, an ont of de 1000, 900 people
in dis kentry not ober 100 has eber heard OF
you. Now, den, you dress up; you swell
around YOU fling on scollops; you try to de-
ceive people into takin' you fur pusson Of
riches What am your objck|'
l-I-doan' know, sab, slanmered the
victim.
"Brudder Hopewell. let me tell you
sunthin'. When you fatter yerself dat de
people of dis kentry doan know de differ
ence between de bray of de mule an de roar
of the lion you am dreffuhy mistaken. You
have bin follerin' de lead Of sartin white peo-
pie. l knows heaps of EN- who goes hungry
an dodge creditors for de sake of blindin'
peoples eyes. A woman whose husban'
Arms $50 per week has no bIzness wild silks
and diamonds, sl5 hat or 81 par of shoes.
but she am de pusson who'll have EN- for
fear dat somebody will think he isn't rich.
Half de kentry am in debt fur cloze which
only de odder malt kin afford. De woman
who W ars de best cloze on de street has de
De man who swells biggest owes de moas'
to his tailor and bootmaker. You am
poo man. You'll nebber have hundred
dollars in bank as long as you
live. You'll nebber arm mo dan nufft to run
q small cabin in a small way. an yet you am
swellin aroun as if a $4,000 mortgage
wouldn't bodder you half an hour. What's
your objick%'
"I-I-doan' know sab"
"Boyl take off dat swailer-tailed coat. Jump
outer dem tight pants! Drap dat silk necktie!
Den you go to work an fin cheap boardin'
house an begin to pay your debts Letyour
cloze match your salary. Let your board
match your cioze. Be what you ana COM
mon sort o pussen, whose assets will cover
his liabilities by hard puliin'. You cane
deceive anybody. an de less you try to de
better people will like you"
Brother Hopewell retired to his corner all
broken up, and his first move was to offer to
trade handkerchief with a red border to
Shindig Watkins Tor a white-handled knife
with all the blades broken.