davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29
"SCHAKE sHTAYs In"

amy boy Shake he comes big shoke
on me-" said pleasant-faced farmer at
the Gratiot-avenue station yesterday.
GLOW was that?" ...
"Vhell, Shake was RAIDER lazy und
he eat more on der table as two men.
Last vheek he shtrikes on me for wages"
ais he of age?"
"Oh, no. Shake Who's only sixteen.
| doan' pellet he can earn his poard NIT
any farmer, und 50 | tells him vhas
Wiling to poard und clothe him, und if
some circus comes along gif him feefty
cents. Dot vhas goot enough for boy
mil sooch an appetite. But What you
pellet Shake does?"
." dunno"
peer, und vas arrested und sent up NIT
der workhouse for seexty days. If |
take him oud | have to pay ten dollar
cash. Do. vhas big shoke on me, und
Shake, he laughs all ofer himself"
"Why don't you leave him in there to
serve out his time? He gets his board
and clothes, and you have nothing for
him to do at home in the winter"
"By shiminy, hut | never fought OF
dot pefore. Dots SO, dots sol Shake
vhas no good at home, und vhas only
expense on me. If doan' pay dot ten
dollar den he shtay in"
"And the joke is on him."
''Dot's so-dot's SO! Ii take him
out he laugh behind my back NIT der
poys. If leaf him in go oop to see
him once vheek und make some grins
und ask him how it vhas so far he goes.
Shake shtays in. Ha! ha! ha vhas
tickled alreadyw
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29
DESCENDED FROM BEARS.
Professor Gherke Looking for Fossils t"
Prove His Theory.

Frederick Or. Gherkc, professor OF
zoology and comparative anatomy at
Williams College, recently visited Den
yer and was interview by a NeWs re-
porter concerning the theory advanced
bv him in his book, The True Descent
of Man." that man is descended from
the bear Professor Ghcrke was grad
uated from the University OF l.eipsic
and afterwards spent several years IN
England. where his book was published
soon after Darwin's death and attracted
wide attention.
The object OF his visit to Colorado, the
professor said, was to hunt among the
fossil districts OF the State for specimens
that will illustrate his theory and Tor
fossil remains generally for the college
museum. 81 am not an old man. he
said, "and hope to live long enough
to find the connecting link
Speaking OF his theory as opposed to
that of the descent from apes, falsely
called the Darwinian theory, he said
can ape has none OF the character
istics OF the human. An ape initiates
a man reasons. Anape has four hands,
neither like mans hands nor man $
feet. A man has only two hands and
two feet, thoroughly distinct. An ape
or monkey is an idiot. The lower
order of men are not idiots. They have
capabilities of humans.
"Man is descended from bears" he
continued, with much emphasis. ''Do
YOU ask me if there has been any con-
Meeting link found between men and
bears? | answer yes, and | can prove
it. In museum at Paris | saw a skel-
eton OF cave bear. examined it
closely. | was convinced that it had a
partially developed knee-pan. Since
then have studied the matter closely.
went over in my mind to time be-
yond the history of man. Remembered
that skeletons of primeval men had
been found in caves with bears. Al
most the earliest men we knew about
lived in caves. Have bones of apes
ever been found in caves? No. There
is another thing. Nearly all primeval
human skeletons found are of gigantic
size. The bear is nearer the size OF
man than the average ape. OF course,
the gorilla is an exception, but we find
no monster gorilla. The bear could
have gotten rid OF his little fragment oil
a tail much more easily than an ape
could of his. A tailed man always
seemed to me about as absurd as a man
with wings.
"My idea is that the earlier bear
came down through Behring Straits and
drifted down towards the tropic shores
of Asia on iceb"rgs. The icebergs
melted and the bears easily found
shelter on islands and on the coasts.
In the course OF the ages great floods
came and the bears sought shelter in the
caves. In the mean time great changes
had been going on. The bear had
gradually been shedding its heavy coat
as the result of the warm climate. The
bear had also learned to walk on its
hind legs. In the caves, in the dry,
warm atmosphere, other changes took
place. The connecting link was kind
of hairy, understandable man. He often
lived and died in these caves beside his
elder brother, the bear. "-I New York
| World.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29
SOUNDED PRGFANE,

Mr.. 1TallSor. Il cluthior Of Evansville.
has advertised cheap lot OF damaged
goods.
Mr.. Warren. a clothier of the same
place, is Methodist and commands a
large trade among the brethren OF his
persuasion.
The other day when the latter gentle
man store was full of saints purchas-
ing fall wear for temporary use until the
time comes for them to don their wings,
minister and his wife were running
down the price OF suit of clothes 50
fine that there could only have been a
loss of two dollars on the sale OF them.
The clerk who was waiting on tine
reverend but impecunious customers,
made constant appeals to his employer
TO take off another fifty cents.
lrritated by so much importantly, Mr..
Warren yelled out TO the astonishcd
parson:
$50 to Iellser. Got damaged
goods"
As he speaks very rapidly the remark
was not clearly understood. A dozen
hands dropped dozen articles in pious
hurry. The scandalized minister gave
a groan like a throttled fog whistle and
his hair rose many degrees above fever
heat, while he fled with his wife in dis
may.
Now Warren wants to know what in
Jerusalem the elders of his church mean
by citing him to appear before com
mittee of investigation to answer a
charge Of "using blasphemous language
t0an ordained minister OF the gospel,
and setting an awful example OF I'M
controlled anger to the eleven immortal
souls now assisting HMM the dspensa-
ton of cotton and wooden garments"
Nor is he bit appeased by scrip
turaI quotation written with red ink at
the head of the notification, "a FOOLS
mouth is his destruction and his lips are
the snare OF his soul. - Evansville
Arplls.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

A great while ago Philosopher came
across an Egg and Hen. He wanted to
know which was the oldest, so he asked
the Hen which was first, she or the Egg.
"Why, you FOOL" said the Hen, II
laid that Egg myself. There would he
no Egg had not first been Hen to lay
il. Ask me harder one" Then he
asked the Egg. "Why, you Fool" said
the Egg, show could there be II hen un-
less there was first an Egg to hatch it
from? Hens come from Eggs. Now
ask me sensible one" And the Phil
osopher was greatly puzzled.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29
----------------s< ob <-----------------.
A CHINESE BURIAL.

An oriental writer has recently given
an interesting description OF an ancient
burial in the Chinese empire. II was
the custom tor the wealthy man to pro-
cure his coffin when he had reached the
age of forty. He would then have il
painted three times year with a
composition resembling silicate paint or
enamel, which formed an exceedingly
hard coating. The process of making
this paint is now one of the lost arts OF
China. II the owner OF the coffin lived
long enough, the frequent painting
each coat being of considerable thick
ness caused it to assume the ap-
pearance of a sarcophagus, with foot
or more in thickness of this hard, stone-
like shell. After death the veins and
cavities OF the persons stomach were
filled with quicksilver for the purpose Of
preserving the body. A piece Of jade
would then be placed in each nostril and
ear, and in one hand, while piece of
bar-silver would be placed in the other
hand. The body thus prepared was
placed on layer OF quicksilver within
the coffin; the latter was sealed, and
the whole deposited in its final resting
place. When some of these sarcOphagi
were opened after a lapse of centuries,
the bodies were found to be perfectly
preserved, but they quickly crumbled TO
dust on being exposed to the air. 80
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29
OVER FIVE THOUSAND COPIES SOLD

OF the CALIFORNIA CHRISTMAS SOUVENIR.
This is a collection of Original Poems of senti-
ment and Affection elegantly illustrated and
of n Christmas Card with the permanence of a
Gift Book. 1t is beautiful gift book, over.
flowing with graceful sentiment of greeting
and affection, which may be appropriated by
the sender, and will have meaning to the
recipient.
Put up in envelope, with post protector, and
mailed to any address Price, sl.00. Pub
lished by JAMES I. WHITE & Co,
Booksellers, % Dupont St, San Francisco.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29
Read
Read
What Physicians and their Patients
say regarding the wonderful
properties of
DUJARDIN'S LIFE ESSENCEI
The Great French Nerve Tonic
j could not work half so well with.
out it. 1t has given me back the mental and
physical force of youth Ny ideas are clearer
and my sleep more refreshing l have ALREADY
taken two bottles.
Rev j. NJ. BULL, Winona.
DUJARDIN'S LIFE ESSENCGI
Rev. j. M. BULL, Winona.
GUN SHOT WOUNDS.


MARITIME & Co.:
Gentiemcn-I am much gratifed with the &C.
ton of your Life Essence. ! am suffering
greatly with gun-shot wounds and broken
hip; in fact, am an epitome of injuries With
this there is great deal of nervous ritability,
not altogether calculated to make home happy.
l am also troubled with sleeplessness and lOa
Of appetite. or rather 'eaS until [ commenced
taking Life Essence, since which time, when
take it, sleep better than for years, have
better appetite and am not troubled with pal.
pitation. My sexual system is entirely re.
stored, and consequently have 10 my melan.
cholly, moroseness, and suicidal tendency, and
feel return of mental and physical forcs
and strength, that never anticipated.
Yours very truly.
ANTON HARDIs, NJ, D.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

When You buy fifty-cent or dollar bottle of
Ammens Cough Syrup, and have taken the
outside wrapper off, see that there is a strip
over the cork bearing the signature of the
manufacturer, which To counterfeit is felony
Any friend who will furnish .,,s information
upon which we can convict one of those thiev-
ing, fraudulent mitators, we will pay the sum
of five hundred dollars. We have a good
remedy-an honest remedy-th the best remedy
in the world for the diseases for which it is
recommended and it is too valuable remedy
to mankind, and pecuniarily to the manufac-
turer, to permit any dishonorable scoundrel to
put worthless imitation on the market to in
jure its reputation. When you have cold or
cough, ask for Ammen's Cough Syrup, and do
not suffer yourself to be talked into buying
any other preparation.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

Instead Of feeling tired and worn out, in
stead of aches and pains, wouldn't you rather
feel fresh and strong? II you continue feeling
miserable and nothing, you have only
yourself to blame, for Browns Iron Bitters
will surely cure you. Iron and cinchona are
its principal ingredients. II il a certain cure
for dyspepsia, indigestion, malaria, weakness,
kidney, lung and heart affections. Try it if
you DIES re to I've healthy. robust and strong, and
experience its remarkable curative qualities.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

GERANIrMs DRIVE OFF SNAKES. Every
species of snake may be permanently
driven away from IN infested place by
planting geraniums. In South Africa
the Caffre people thus rid their premises
OF srakes. A missionary Of South Africa
had his parsonage surrounded by mar
row belt Of geraniums, which efieetua ! :
protected the residence from any kind OF
snake. A few yards away from this
geranium belt snake would occasion
ally be found. 1t is well known that
the whole geranium genus is highly red
olent OF volatile oils--iemon-scent
musk scented and peppermint-scented
What, therefore, is very pleasantnose-
gay for man, is repugnant to the SER
pent tribe.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29
SHOCK TO NERVOUS SYSTEM.

MARITIME x Co.:
Geats-My wife, two years ago, fell with
such violence that her spinal cord was injured,
with great shock and conclusion of the nervous
system, evidenced after her recovery from the
first violent symptoms by weakness that re-
quired frequent rest in bed, by peevishnes,
restlessness, and often semi-spasmodic condi.
ton. She could not walk without constant
fear or falling. Spite of the efforts Of expai-
enced physicians, she grew no better, until \
lost hope. and looked for her death as hA- saly
relief. Ready to grasp at anything that prom.
ised help, bought bottle Of Life Essence
and gave regularly She Is now, after five
weeks, steadily improving, can stoop to the
floor and pick up pin with certainty of bal.
anca, walks firmly, and gives promise OF full
recovery. Respectfully,
A. DOWNING, Los Angeles.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29
A HOTEL MANS LUCK.

Mr. J, c. Tyler, chief clerk at the Union
Depot Hotel, Ogden, had rheumatism in the
muscles of the chestand left shoulder. BY APP
plying the Great German Remedy three days
he realized complete restoration, and he is of
the opinion that there is nothing equal to the
st. Jacobs OIL for pain. The Great German
Remedy is also specific for burns and sprains.
Salt Lake Utah Tribune.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

A bill for dover has been fled in the
Chicago Circuit Court by lady who
says her husband, in 1892 Ga year after
her marriage TO HIM, sold lot in
Chicago, and that she never joined in
the transaction. The property has since
passed through dozen hands, but she
wants her third interest, all the same.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29


My doctor pronounced Inc cured, but l
got sick again. with terrible pains in my back
and Sides and got so bad
Could not move!
| shrunk
From 22S lbs. to 10, had been doctoring
for my liver, but it did me no good. did not
expect 10 live more than three months. l be-
gan to use Hop BitteH. Directly my appetite
returned, my pains left me, my entire system
seemed renewed asif by magic. and after using
several bottles / am not only rs sound rs q
sovereign hut weigh more than did before.
To Hop Btters owe my life.
Dublin, June q, 81. II. FITZPATRICK.
How TO GET SICK. Expose yourself day and
night; eat too much without exercise; work too
hard without rest; doctor all the time take all
the vile nostrums advertised, and then you
will want to know how TO pct icell, which Ia an
swered in three words--Talxe Hop Bitters.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

The brook purls through the meadow,
and ashen skies look on the lovely corn
field, over which circles the thieving
crow. II is il autumn, there il no doubt
about that, and if You don't believe it,,
just try to take an uninterrupted walk
in your old straw hat and Oxford ties.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

On the appearance of the first symptoms
as general debility, loss of appetite, pallor,
chilly sensations, followed by niehtsweats
and cough--plompt measures for reliet should
be taken. Consumption is scrofulous disease
of the lungs: therefore use the great anti
scrofula, or blood purifier and strene th-restorer,
DIR Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery "
Superior to cod liver oil az a nutritive, and I'M
surpassed as pectoral. For weak lungs, spit
ting of blood. and kindred affections, 1t has no
equal. Sold by druggists the world over. For
DR.. Pierce's pamphlet on Consumption send
two stamps to WORLDS DIsPENsARY MEDICAL
ASSOCIATION, Buffalo. n. Y.
Every day influential Mormons leave Sat
Lake for the East in the interest of the Church.
Buchu- Paiba." Quick complete care, all
annoying kidney and urinary diseases. 81.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

Farmers in the West predict mild
and open winter this year, because the
xround-h hog has not yet made his nest
in the ground. When cold winter is
coming the animal begins gathering
leaves for his nest about September list.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

Mr.. .. ID. Brooks, druggist, at BAYOU SARA,
La, says: ~ have heard many persons rec
ommend Browns Iron Bitters who have tried
its virtues"
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

MIR. r. 7. Barley, GENTRYs MILL, TEXAS,
says: 81 used Brown Iron Bitters with bene-
fit for general debility, neuralgia, bad blood
and weakness"
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

The steamer Manistee is supposed to have
gone down in Lake Superior with all on board
numbering twenty-five.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

Dujarlins Life Essence is the remedy for
the overworked brain.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

successfully treated by Worlds Dispenser,
Medical Association. Address, with stamp fG
pamphlet, Buffalo, \. Y.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

are treated with unusual success by Worlds
Dispensary Medical Association, Buffalo, NY.
Send stamp for pamphlet.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29
COUGHS. HOARSENEss.

Sore Throat etc, quickly relieved by Byocn's
Bronchial Troches. A simple and atfectual
remedy, superior to all other articles for the
same purpose. Sold only in boxes
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

TITS nuch easier to lay plans than it is to
hatch them. Springfield News.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

Somebody says lager beer is Tcutonic
Cambridge Tribune.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

Dujardin's Life Essence gires brain force and
vital energy.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

All pain in the nervous system, wind collie,
cramps, etc, cmed by Samaritan Nerr,ae.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29
LOSS AND GAIN.

DIjardins Life Essence positively cures
HysterIa, and all nervous affections.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

'Rougn on corns." 15c. Ask forit. Com
plete cure, hard or soft corns, warts, bunions.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

Dujardins Life Essence cures neualgia and
nervous headache.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

Dujardins Life Essence conquers nervous de-
Jiiay, Toss Of memory.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

If cough disturbs your sleep, take Pisoi
Cure for consumption and rest we'll
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

What is the differencr between the Nortl
and South Pole? All the difference in the world
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

Rough ON Coughs, DC, Doe, 81, at drug
gists Complete cure coughs, hoarsencss, sore
throat
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

For cough or cold thore is no remedy equa
to Ammen's CoughSyrup. -.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29
FITS. EITS. FITS.

Truth crushed to earth will rise again >"
rr vided the yeast is not sour. Texas Siftings
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29
CANCERS AND OTHER TUMORs

1t takes g bucket shop" to make Il man
turn pale. THE Eye.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

The inhabitants OF Massachusetts, are
worth an average Of 81 800 apiece.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

Dujardin's Life Essence makes the old feel
young again
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

Strength for the weary - Dujardins Lite
Essence.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29
ADVICE TO toNsuMprIvEs.

Sacramento complains of an. over supply of
hoodhm boys and girls At
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

Orders to grade the rai'road lot at Guaymas
have het n issued
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29

Dujardin's Life Essence is THE GREAT
FRENCH NERVE IONIC - |
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-12-29
CHAPTER I.

81 was taken sick a year ago
with bilious fever"
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-04-25

ofEan average seating capacity of zoo would serve
for 81 900 people. Estimating the population ct
5000, would leave 81. goo to be provided for. But
IL 50 happens that 81 900 of our people do not
attend Church on Sundays. What then7 No
worship? By no means. Fortunately a Church
building is not required for devout worship since
thousands know by experience that God dTelleth
everywhere, and can in all places give answer TO
prayer. Besides, in a great many Churches the
seats are sold. The poor may be welcome, but II
must be understood in o Pickwickisn sense-they
are quite attractive II little more distant.
Selling seats in the sanctuary to the devout
seems contrary to Christtaught Chris
tanity-something akin to profanity-and
while the Churches practice such problematic
piety, the masses are likely to seek other ssnctu
aries in which to pay their to the Most High.
When Christianity becomes so toploftical that It
can display It's heavenly mindedness only In the
presence OF the votaries OF fashion and mammom
the time has come for the people to remember.
1.-The groves were Gods first temples. Ere man
learned
To hew the shaft. and lay the architrave.
And spread the roof above them. Ere he framed
The lofty vault 70 gather and roll back
The sound of anthems in the darkllng wood,
Amidst the cool and silence he knelt down
md offered 10 the Mightiest solemn thanks and
supplication."
To do the same thing now viii answer every
demand.