Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1883-06-08
OR0CKETT's COON TRICK.
How Davy Worked It for an Election to
Congress in the Early Days Of
francesca

In 1927 Crockett was elected to con-
gress. In this canvass he played the fa-
nous 'coon-skin trick, which he relates
as follows:
''Well, I started off to the Cross Roads,
dressed in my hunting shirt, and my
rifle on my shoulder Many of my con-
etituents had assembled there to get
taste of the quality of the candidates at
Grating. Job Smelling, gander-shank-
ed Yankee, who had been caught some
where about Plymouth bay, and been
shipped to the west with a cargo of cod
fish and rum, erected large shanty,
and set up shop for the occasion. A
large posse of the voters assembled be-
fore arrived, and my opponent had al
ready made considerable Roadway with
his speechifying and his treating, when
they spied me about a rifle shot from
the camp, sauntering along as if was
not a party in the business. There
comes Crockett cried one. Let US
hear the colonel cried another, and so
I mounted the stump that had been used
for the occasion, and began to BUSH
ghack in the most approved style.
II had not been up long before there
was such an uproar in the crowd that
could not hear my own voice, and some
of my constituents let me know that
they could not listen to me on such a
dry subject Us the welfare of the nation
until they had something to drink, and
that / must treat 'em. Accordingly
| jumped down from the rostrum and led
the way to the shant,-, followed by my
constituents, shouting 'Huzza for
| Crockett and Crockett forever
when we entered the shanty Job
was busy dealing out his rum in style
that showed that he was making good
| days work of it, and called for quart
| of the best, but the crooked crittur re-
turned no other answer than by point
| ing at board over the bar, on which he
had chalked in large letters, Pay to-day
and trust Tomorrow Now that idea
brought me all up standing; it was sort
of cornering in which there was no
back out. for ready money in the west
in those times was the shyest thing
in all natur', and it was most particular
| ly shy with me on that occasion.
1.-The voters, seeing my predicament,
| fell off to the other side, and l was left
deserted and alone. as the government
will be when it no longer has any Off
ces to bestow. l saw, plain as day, that
the tide of popular opinion was against
me, and that, unless got some rum
speedily, should lose my election as
sure as there are snakes in Virginny-
and it must be done soon, or even burn
ed brandy wouldn't save me. So
walked away from the shanty, but in
another sort from the way 1 entered it,
for on this occasion l had no train after
me, and not a voice shouted .Huzza for
Crockett Popularity sometimes de-
ponds ON very small matter; indeed,
in this particular, it was worth quart
of New Eng d rum and no more.
Well, kno .ng that a crisis was at
hand, struck into the woods with my
rifle on my shoulder, my best friend in
time of need, and. as good fortune
would have it, had not been out more
than quarter of an hour before freed
a fat coon, and in the pulling of a trig-
ger he lay dead at the root of tree.
I soon whipped his hairy jacket off his
back, and again bent my way toward
the shanty, and walked up to the bar,
not alone, for this time / had half
dozen of my constitutions at my heels.
I threw down the 'coon-skin upon the
counter and called for quart of rum,
and Job, though busy in dealing out
rum, forgot to point to his chalked rules
and regulations, for he knew that
coon was as good legal-tender for
quart in the west as New York shilling
any day in the year.
''My constituents now flocked about
me and cried 'Huzza for Crockett
'Crocket forever!' and finding the tide
hoA FOL I III
yarns to get them in good humor, and
having soon dispatched the value of the
coon, l went out and mounted the
stump without opposition, and clear
majority of the voters followed me to see
what had to offer tor the good of the
nation. Before [ was half through one
of my constituents moved that they
would hear the balance of my speech at
ter they had washed down the first part
with some more of Job Snellings eX-
tract of cornstalk and molasses; and the
question being put up, it was carried
unanimously. 1t wasn't considered
necessary to call the yeas and nays, SO
we adjourned to the shanty, and on the
way l began to reckon that the fate of
the nation pretty much depended upon
my shooting another coon.
"While standing at the bar, feeling
sort of bashful while Jobs rules and
regulations stared me in the face, | cast
down my eyes and discovered one end
of the 'coon-skin sticking between the
logs that supported the bar. Job had
slung it there in the hurry of business.
1t followed my hand as natural as if
had been the rightful owner. l slapped
it on the counter, and Job, little dream
ing that he was barking up the wrong
tree showed along another bottle, which |
my constituents quickly disposed of
with great good humor, for some of
them saw the trick, and then we with !
drew to the rostrum to discuss the af- |
fairs of the nation.
81 don't know how it was but the |
voters soon became dry again, and moth |
ing would do but we must adjourn to |
the shanty, and as luck would have it, |
the 'coon-skin was still sticking between |
the logs, as if Job had flung it there on |
purpose to tempt me. l was not slow |
in raising it to the counter; the rum fol- |
loewd, of course, and wish may be shot |
if didn't, before the day was over, get
ten quarts for the same identical skin, |
and from n fellow, too, who in those |
parts was considered as sharp as steel |
trap and as bright as a pewter button. |
This joke secured me my election, |
for it soon circulated like smoke among
my constituents, and they allowed with |
one accord that the man who could get |
the whip-hand of Job Smelling in fair |
trade could outwit Old Nick himself, |
and was the real grit for them in con-
gress. After the election was over I |
sent Smelling the price of the rum, but |
took good care to keep the fact from the |
knowledge of my constituents. Job re- |
fused the money and sent me word that |
it did him good to be taken in occasion
ally, as it served to brighten his ideas, |
but afterwards learned that when he |
found out the trick that had been play |
ed upon him he pu: all the rum l had |
ordered in his bill against my opponent, |
who, being elated with the speeches he |
had made on the affairs of the nation,
could NJ, descend TO examine into the |
particulars of bill of the vender of rum |
in small way. FOREST and Stream.
Loves Way Everywhere.
A correspondent says: .Matamoras |
is at present, excited over the elopement |
of Lieut. Col. Ehlers, of the 4th infantry,
stationed in this city. He is a dashing |