The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-02-17
TROUBLES OF A BRIDAL
PARTY.

Say. what kind of a hotel do you
keep said green looking man, as
! be stepped to the counter and regis
tered his name, and added land
wife" after it, "Can new married
couple settle down here for two or
three days and have a quiet visit
With each Other, and not be scared
out of their boots 2"
The hotel man said they could go
right to their room and stay there
three days or three weeks, and never
come to their meals if they didn't
want anything to eat. but what
IS the matter? Have you been an
noyed?| asked the hotel man.
Annoyed! That don't express
it. We were married day before
yesterday, at st. Paul, and went to
Il hotel. l live about sixty miles
west of st. Faul, and the travelling
men put up a job to make me tired.
There were abOuta hundred of them
showed in at st. Paul, and I'll be
edifthey didn' tkaep US awakea /
night. They knew we were a bridal
couple, and they bribed the bell boys
! and porterS to let them act for them,
and when we rung the bell for the
bell boy, a drummer fer a Chicago
cigar factory came in and wanted to
know what was wanted. l ordered
pitcher of ice water, and Mil
Waukee drummer for a grocery
house brought it in, and he looked
at my wife, who is bashful, and
made her feel real bad. | didn't
know they were drummers until the
next day, or l should have killed
some OF them. l rung the bell for
coal, and travelling man who posts
railroad cards around, and works up
excursions, he came in and fixed the
ire, and he stayed and pOked it for
half an hour, and he had more gall
than l ever see. He asked so many
questions about how long we had
been married, that l wanted to
thump him, but my wife said we
didn't want to have no row the first |
day we were married. | rung for a |
chamber maid to clean up
the room and bring some |
towels.and it was about half an hour
before she came, and l went down
to the office to see about my trunk,
and the chamber maid stayed about |
half an hour, and was very interest.
Ing, and my wife said she was a
real pleasant, affectionate sort of a
creature, far above her station, and
tell you [ was mad when | found
out that it was a smooth-faced
handsome young Jewish drummer
Tor a Milwaukee clothing house, who
was IN with the gang, and he gave
5he chamber maid So to loan him
an old dress so he could play cham
Oer-maid. When my wife told me
hat the chamber-maid patted her
On the cheek, and said she was The
sweetest bride that was ever in the
MOTEL and asked for a kiss, and nv
wife said she thought it would be
40 harm to kiss a poor chamber
maid, and encourage her, I wanted
20 kill him, and went down to the
)ffice the next morning, but the
cuss had gone to Fargo.
It was all the landlord eoald do to
lold me. Well, while we were
It supper somebody got into
he room and put cracker
rumbs in our bed, and we
Ound a cold silcloth floor mat over
he top sheet, enough to freeze any,
,ody, But the worst was at night.
We had just got comfortably in bed
When there was knock at the door,
md got up and the Waterman, was
here, and he said he wanted to
,oint out to me the fire escape so [
ould get out in case of FIRE; and /
vent out In the hall and he took me-
way out to the end of the building
o show it TO me-, and while / was
ooking out of the window nv wife
anne running down the hall, and
,egging me to save her. l asked
Ter what was the matter, and she
aid as soon as [ went out man
hat looked like porter came into
he room and told her to fly and
ave herself, and to follow her bus-
,and. She felt awful when she
Ound there was no trouble, and we
rot back to our reom half frOZe. II
lave got them fellows down fne.
The fellow who called me out to
ook at the fire escape is drummer
or a Philadelphia millinery house.
md the one that scared my wife cut
If her wits, travels for a hearse fac
'ory at Rochester, n. Y. My wife
Jays she would know him, because
lie has big gray moustache, and
wears a diamond collar button in his
shirt. She said she thought he was
pretty stylish for porter, at the
lime. They woke us up several
5lmes in the night to tell us what to
10 in case we were sick, and in the
before we were up,
waiter brought up our breakfast.
He said the landlord sent it up. and
be just stood around until we had to
sit up in bed and eat breakfast. I |
thought at tie time that it was kind
in the landlord to send up our break
fast, but when l found that the
waiter who brought it up was
man for a reaper factory
at Rockford, and remembered how
earned impudent he looked at my
wife, l could have murdered him,
but the clerk said he had gone to
Winnipeg. 1t was just about as
bad coming down here on the
sleeping car, and l think half the