The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1883-09-21
A WARRIOR BOLD.
General sherman's Dilemma In Performing
His Great kissing Act.
San Francisco Post.

The return of Miss Alice Harrison to the
city recalls an incident In her career when q
member Of the famous California company
Of four or five years ago, which may still
provoke smile from those who witnessed
the occurrence In question. About the time
OF Miss Hsrrisons farewell benefit at that
theatre General Sherman was visiting the
city and with his staff occupied box at said
performance. Now, whatever difference of
opinion may exist as TO the military renown
of the General of our armies, there Is no
dispute as to his being the champion kisser
Of the continent. In fact, the hero of At
lanta may be said to possess a mania for 10.
bial salutations of fatherly sort, and Is
known TO frequently indulge In the proud
boast that he has kissed ninety per cent. of
all the pretty girls in The United States. His
chief of staff once computed the Generals
monthly kissing average, large all the year
round, dry and wet seasons included, at
about 1900, or, say, in round numbers, about
$4,000 kisses for each kissing fiscal year. If
the General had only added babies to the list
of his subjects, he would have kissed his way
into the White House years ago, but his re.
luctance TO waste valuable time and raw
material In the pursuit of his hobby induces
him, with the true instinct of veteran pro-
fessor of OSCILLATION, to select only the pretti-
est Of the fair sex for that honor.
At the benefit referred to, no sooner did
Miss Harrison appear on the stage than the
old warrior snuiied the battle from afar and
began to grow restless and uneasy. The
staff wlnked at each other and soon the chief
suggested the propriety of going behind the
scenes to compliment the beneficiary.
We must now ask our readers TO accom-.
pany us to the little Danish settlement OF
Eericyland, on the borders of the Baltic, In
the year 1881. \ village festival is being
held and, as usual, the distinguished visitors o
gathered to salute the girl who has taken
the annual prize for cooking and virtue.
There is young American officer amid the
number who. instead Of printing the Gus
tomary chaste salute upon the cheek of the
village celebrity, folds her in his sky-blue
arms and settles down on her frontispece
like hydraulic pump on an assessment list.
The minutes fly by and just as the spectators
are about drawing their stop watches Oh the
last quarter the young officer comes to the
surface again. AS he RECEIVERS his exhausted
wind the weather beaten captain of wreck
ing crew approaches and says:
"Young man, I'll give you your own pfice
to ship with me as diver"
"And Why"
"Because you can hold your breath longer
than any man In the business"
We merely relate this little incident to
emphasize our story. The kisser was young
Tecumseh But 10 resume. As soon as
the staff were behind the scenes General
Sherman pitched in with the remark that he
hadn't kissed anything since breakfast. He
was standing In the middle of the stage, with
his back TO the curtain, and absorbed In be-
slowing paternal kiss upon Alice and feel.
ing like a just admitted angel sliding down
q buttered rainbow, when That impish young
lady saw that the prompter was about to
ring up the "drop." Quickly placing her
hands over the Generals ears so he could
not hear the bell, she backe him against the e.
curtain. As every one knows this Is wound
around huge wooden roller on the insiSe
of the canvas. The Generals coat tails
were caught by this as the curtain went up,
and before the prompter could reverse tho
motion the astourded man was suspended
about ten feet from the stage like sheet
from clothesllne.
The audience went off into Mysteries of
merriment, while the members Of the staff
lay down on tho floor Of their box and abso-
lutely howled, for they only knew that those
convuisively clutched legs and venerable
gaiters belonged to the commander-in-chlef
of all our armies. But the first thing we
know the Generals coat tails win give way,
so We will ring down the curtain.