News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-03-15
WIT AND WISDOM.

I-L,JL.
THE German proverb, "If 1 rest,
rust, " is Americanized to read, "H
trust, bust"
ZEAL without humility is like shiI
without rudder, liable to be STRANDED
at any moment.
He who has fair words only is like on
who feeds the sick with an empty spoon
: and talks about Cruel.
You can't get happiness out of wrong
doing any more than you can get woe
by shearing Il hydraulic ram.
- The price of beef is so high in New
York that they think of putting a signal
station on top of it.-Ihaca J0t"7aL
. A CHICAGO doctor advertises: "Don't
mistake dropsy for consumption.
That's right This constant mistakinf,
delirium tremens for malaria is bad
1 enough.-BoSton Post.
AMONG other ways for mortifying the
flesh during Lent, the Buffalo CONNER
ciaL AdUertiser suggests. " Eat Welsh
rarebit, with mince pie, every night be-
fore retiring. Speculate in oil"
SEVERAL large brewery and distillery
firms have failed since the beginning Of
the year. When a brewery can't make
money the times may he regarded as
pretty hard. .-NorriStO1On Herald.
A GIRL Just returned to Hannibal, Mo-,
from a high school, said upon seeing
fire-engine at work: ''Who would evah
have dweamed such vewy diminutive
! looking apawatus would hold so much
wattah !''-DenUer Tribune.
HUSBAND GA. M, after a curtain lee
ture)-"Well. all I've got to say is, if
you are person of such refinement and
good breeding, You ought to be above
talking to a drunken fellow at this time
of the night"
The Chicago Times is of the opinion
that a Presidents term should depend
upon good behavior. Does the Times
want a Presidential election every two
weeks the year round?-DetrOH Free
Press.
WRITE, we know Is written right,
When we see it written write,
But when we see it written wright,
We know it is not written right.
For write to have it written right,
Must not be written right, nor rite,
Nor yet must it be written wright,
But write, for SO It's written right
A WOMAN entered a saloon in Jersey
CITY, kicked over the table, smashed q
dozen glasses, shook her fist under the
barkeeper's nose, and called him tiend,
and led her husband out by the ear. The
barkeeper from over the Rhine closed
one eye significantly, and remarked to
terrified customer: "By chinks maybe
she vus mad aboud somediugs-eh ~
The JtSdge.
A MILLER. who attempted to be witty
at the expense of a youth of weak intel
lect. accosted him with, "John, people
say that YOU are fool" On this John
replied II don't know that I am, sir;
know some things, sir, and some things
7 don't know. sir" "WelI, John, what
do YOU bnow?" 81 know that millers
always have fat hogs, sir" "And what
don't YOU know?" 81 don't know whose
corn they eat, sir.
THE constitutional amendment offered
by Mr.. Moore, of Tennessee, providing
for way to compel States to pay their
debts, seems to be attracting consider
able attention A number of petitions
have been received from various parts OF
the country asking for its passage,
among them being petitions from com
mcrcial bodies in Chicago, and " nunHer
from New York State received 10y MessIe'
Tutchins and Cox.
gone into bankruptcy, snid one little glIl
to another. "What is bankruptcy, Mel
lie >" 81 don't know exactly" replied
Nellie. 'but I spects its something awful
nice. Pa used to work awful hard and
used TO 90 around i'll his old clothes;
but since he has gone into bankruptcy
he dresses up every day and doesn't DO
ANYTHING but walk about, just like per-
feet gentleman"
The waning of the honeymoon: Al
fred. who came home very late last night
from a bachelors dinner and has been
catching it, this morning " L had II
most horrible dream last night" Ara
bella (sarcasticalIy): "Did you, indeed? ?
How surprising p Alfred: "Did wake
ND with scream or anything OF that
sort?" Arabella: No; perhaps you had
eaten so much you couldn't. What was
your nightmare? Alfred: 1 dreamed L
was a bachelor again. ."-Life.
TO THE NEW FIvE-CENT NICKEL
TBy one Dead Broke.'l
Nickel. nickel, shining bright
As an angel of delight,
Ssv, what man of cunning skill
Framed thee. darling of the till.
Saw. who Iimned the lovely face,
Smiling with dainty grace,
One. which shows no trace OF fear,
Bartered for glass of beer?
Banished from the retail field
All vile coins stamped with shield,
Brewers of disputes, methinks,
Tween low men who ''shake for drinks.
Those who trust to blind DEGREES
OF the Goddess Chance, all these
Bless thee; for the illest-bred
Must admit thou hast head.
Though reduced to povertee
One remaining hope see,
Though all other blessings flee,
Thou at least art left to me.
N-,,.IC