Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-09-06
BRIGHT BITS.
Can anyone tell just why it is
That whenever a shy horse prances,
some woman or hen is sure 10 cross
Ihn rnal ~ tLa tnarn alNamena.


A WRITER in the June Atlantic says
Listening is a lost art" That writer evil
IDENTIFY does not live in a boarding house
-Pbil0delphid NelrS.
POTATO BUGS have begun to cross the
Brooklyn bridge, and the trustees are
worrying themselves over the question
how to make them pay tOl.-LO1geH Citi-
zen.
THE POPULAR GAME in Indiana is bet
ting on the weight of a stranger. The said
stranger has lead jacket under his coat,
and his pal takes in a heap of half-dOllars.
Detroit Free Press.
A NEW YORK LADY started for the
White Mountains with an outfit Of thirty
nine trunks. And she wouldn't speak to
her husband for whole day because he
complained of being flea-bitten through
carrying her poodle in his arms.
SAYS a correspondent, speaking OF mod
ern French furnishing, Il find innumera-
bic instances Of arm-chairs covered with
two sorts of material" Isn't 1t about
time that these filings at cOurtship were
done with Boston Transcript.
IF THOSE front-gate women were smart
they would have their husbands build
their houses even out to the sidewalk and
with little balconies on the front Of them,
so they could sit in them and see what is
going on up and down the street.
Il TELL YOU" said POots, There is an
indescribable sense Of luxury in lying in
bed and ringing ones bell for his valet"
you got valet!" exclaimed POOts'
friend. No" replied POOts, ''but I've
got bell. Cincinnati Saturday Night.
THE SMELL of fresh paint in a room
may be etfectually gotten rid of by placing
therein a pail of water in which a few
onions have been sliced,' says an eX-
change. TO take away the smell of the
onions, burn the house dOwn.-OH Ctty
Derrick.
THERE is a Western woman at Saratoga
with her fourth husband. When woman
goes to that gay resort as blushing
bride she becomes so thoroughly fasci-
mated with the placestha she is bound to
return again and again, even If she has TO
get a new husband every time TO do 1t.
MAGISTRATE (who has lately taken to
himself a wig. severely: "H'm, | think
/ have seen You here before on a similar
charger" Drunk and disorderly female:
No, your 'OnOr; s'elp me, never! The
last time | was uD afore a bald-headed old
cove, not bit like ye.'
IT WAS a colored preacher who said to
his flock: eve has a collection to make
dis morning, and fO' de sake of yO' repUta-
ton, whichever of you stole Mr.. Jones'
turkeys don't put anything on de plate"
One who was there says every blessed
niegah in de church came down wild de
rocks
Poor RELATION-'I didn't know but,
as you were refurnshing the house, some
Of the discarded articles might be of use
to me, if you was only of mind TO-"
Rich relatiye-"W certainly, Pm glad
you spoke of it. We are going to re-pa
per the dining room. I'll send you down
the old paper when it's torn off. 1t isn't
badly soiled. '-HartOrd Post.
4 NEW YORK exchange is particularly
struck by the fact that so many young
men are now wearing glasses, and in
quires: Are Americans growing weak
eyed?' No, indeed, they amt. Most
young men who wear glasses during the
summer have no defect of vision. They
wear them to keep their eyes from being
raked ont by the feminine parasol.
"WELL, my SON." said a good-natured
father to an eight-year-Old son the other
night, "what have you done to-day that
may be set down as a good deed" "Gaye
a poor boy a half penny" replied the
hopeful. "Ah, ah that was charity, and
charity is always right. He was an Or
phan boy, was hep 81 didn't stop to
ask replied the boy; Il gave him the
money for licking boy who upset my
dinner basket"
"YOU are charged with carrying whisky
away from an Illicit distillery," said the
United States Judge to Uncle Silas.
What have you to say to that charge?'
Il isn't guilty, sab. ! didn't carry it
away" "YoU had sOme them" eyes,
sab. / had some.'' what did you do with
it?' "Well, sab, all dat had wuz inside
ob me, an had so much dat / couldn't
carry it away, so | jess stayed dar."-
4 rL0uS04r Jr0relpT