Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-04-27

Lard is worth trying, anyway.
Every first tenor must be heightened
gentleman.
| so falr one, why this pensiyc mcn,
| This downcasi look AMI frequent sial!"
Alas" she sobbcd, 'thc grass grows green,
| Aud lay my seal.sSin bv'"
| A bad box-a dice box.
Footlights-b ballet dancers.
A dead bcat-a musical rest,
Keep the Vanderbilt ball a-rollng.
| a free lancc-a surgeon in a hospital.
Every man for himself, and the devil take
Herr Most.
Flush times the young man pro.
poses.
Everybody has got the yellow fever, now
a-days.
Young man, if you sec the bottle going
round, don't stopper.
Marriage bells ought TO have an engage
ment ring
Why is deacon like a hat-band 2 Because
nc passes around the hat.
Blobson says that all the dancing girls he
ever saw were stuffed ballcls.
Truth crushed to earth will rise a.air."
This is also predicibc of the onion.
There is aglaveyard digger in Oslo by
the name of Ace The boys call him the Ace
of spades.
When good man drops tray full of
costly goblets, he is irresistiby tempted to
glass ware.
'Can you give me a good subject for
Summer idyl?' Lucy. Yes, Lucy-the
tramp.
What s)rt of a collar might he made out
of pie-crtlst. A turnover.
If the hours should fight a duel who
would load their pistols? Their seconds.
When woman with brold-btimmcd hat
sits in front OF u man at the theatre, he feels
as though he were below the level of the
see
1t is said that the sun will absorb the earth
in 1000 600 years No chance of Dtmo-
| IN eli .1,,,,
,,,o d,s.,n,,i,,. ~, j.. c..,.rni, ,,o.
ou ron,naI ,,o,;a'. ...,;,.',, r,.a,.. ,,,o'.
are composed entirely of the male element.
A magazine writer deporcs the loss of the
cold colonial spirit" We are in doubt
whether he means apple-jack or old rye.
One needs to he pretty crafty when lie is
'''"N'"s " 'ou''s'''l io' monty
The latest novelty in hnggns is called the
Grecian fold It's knctty, but nice.
Don't II align the pastc-pyt and scissors.
An editor cuts some things from his ex-
changes out of sheer pi,v.
(Which IS correct. .laf or .lof.'r Lucy. 7
d, i, either way d, mr.. if van haven't beon
catinr h,ueb,rrv mir
A new noncr i. .c,iI.l Tie c,,,t Ii is
probably the orran of du les.
,.
'i7
II was lucky Tor DAn!ocles ina they dIGh
nave Du'tcr IN MS DAY, or inc Knot Oh
'N"' ''"'' "''s"' "''o S'pieu'
Il nope you VIII wiite US wAiie you are
away WilIlam' shd her ia'her' srAVely'
"Oh, billet douf!' pleaded the little chlr~tr,
with an arch glance.
A new journal Las been established in
Moscow called the FHend IF Vom-a. Il
Is probably fashion magazine
French policemen in Paris are paid re.
wards of from 81 toss for making arrests
and capturing Offenders, and tue minister of
justice has decided to increase these by one
third.-Er. What, the arrests: 1t would
seem that French cops aren't 50 very differ
en' from -Aherican' alter a'i'
We hope the poets line, "Ali wrapt II
, SABLE saro, does not refer To the American
poIe-cat furs so common IN ms vicinity
, A hen in the suburbs, who couldn't ge
: any eggs has been setting on bottle OF glue
, tor the past two weeks. The other day Tue
., CORK came out, and now mat men Is avn"
5 anxious t. get out of the nest and 90 an'
Q fight something. But somehow she don
, do 1t.
80 pa" cried johnny, bursting in upol
1 the family, as they were sitting down It
dinner, the other day, "Our minister gels
drunk" why. why what do you meal
| my son?' YES, sir-l heard him telling
I Angelina Popinjay so. She asNel him
no" uiu you enjoy our ''o''""N NJ 'h'
soc'ao'c last hishl' MY oeH' young i" w.
sail fe' i was perfectly 'nt"Al'"'u Will
, EN-.
I Saturday Is said to be tie favnritc wed