Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-08-10
ALL SORTS.
\ land lady Mother Earth.

y spread Of canvas on vessel is
for sail or to rent.
When d miner strikes a lode ii
li%htens his labor
Croquct is cute game but billiards
Is the cue test.
Tn" engaged girl is now known as
a due belle.
Vain as the peacock is. the wealth
ercock is even more vane.
Close quarters The twenty five
cent pieces boarded by miser
The cold neutrality of an impartial
judge must be just ice.
The sleepy brakeman knows what
a carbuncle do in tight place.
Can a man serve two masters?"
Gertainly sailors on schooners can.
Even the best behaved medical
students are occasionally cutting up.
OF course, all imported eggs are
slowed beneath the hatch ways.
1t does not matter how we'll the
gardener tries to do he is always
slipping.
When man is half-seas over you
may harbor suspicion that his
Judgment j. aflnat
Fruits of the seas on Wrecks.
"Cutting up shines" The worker in
precious stones
Because Il twenty-inch Krupp gun
gets ,iirty when fired, can it be called
fouling piece?
IIanlan is called the aquatic lion,
and when be is in his skull the lion
can rover.
Can't get drunk On water? Non
sense Go on a yachting trip and
see if you can't.
No matter how good his business
may be, the dentist always ''looks
down in the mouth"
Artists are almost invariably great
smokers. One has to learn to draw
before he can paint.
Never look gift horse in the
mouth, especially if it be the Colt Re
volvcr
Isn't it little inconsistent that
the Missouri prohibitionists should
nominate a full state ticket?'
Ill tempered folks who think the
telephone is always to blame. may be
described as victims of a Hello Gina
ton.
1t is strange. yet true, that no
matter how much you batter at
knot, when You batter it out you al
ways leave the knot hole.
4 Western magistrate, named
Pitcher, is sound and hearty at 49,
It's evident that Pitcher hasn't gone
often to the we'll
1t would hardly do to speak of the
girl who has her dress caught in 6
door jamb lis fast girl, and yet tha;
is just what she is.
May the East River Bridge be re
/ garded rs dangerous place to cross
! on account Of there being so many
high way men there?
] Somebody out West is trying to
! tiud ont how many mules there are
in the country. We give it up It's
a question Of mule tiplication.
! The reason the largest strawberries
always occupy the most prominent
position in the box is because "there's
plenty of room at the top"
No" said Philadelphia bride,
Il am not willing that our wedding
tour should include Yellowstone
Park. Yellow don't agree with my
complexion.
\ London oculist says that cul-
ture diminishes the size of the eyes.
Now, Just listen to that Every
body knows that small is are sign
of the entire absence of culture.
Mr.. Alexis Campbell was locked up
by the st. Louis police because. af-
ter nine sherry cobolers, he couldn't
walk or stand straight. 1t was the
last straw, you see, that broke ths
Campbelrs back.
It's Lowell who asks: What is S.
rare rs day in June?" is it not!
Well. now. if he had only stopped tt
think minute, be might have known
that the 10Th of February was the
answer to the riddle.
Caution in the Premises-"Hadn't
l better pray for rain to day, Dea-
con?" said a Binghamton minister,
Sunday Not today, Dominic, |
think" was the prudent reply; the
wind isn't right
A cross counter. Jack Oldstock =
We're very proud of our ancestry
you know" Tom Parvenue-"Yes
know; but how would your ances
:ry feel about you?'
DO You send your washing to {
Troy laundry?' asked Milton mar
cf friend No was the reply, a:
he gazed sorrowfully at the fringet
/, collars and cuffs, Il have it done Al
! destroy laundry"
, The Indian ring--A war whoop
News of the week Health bulletins
The chord of sympathy is often bes
expressed by cord of wood. Non'
bnt the most inhuman would thinl
of pulling down the blind.
| Count Snith put on clean pape
collar recently. when the thermome
l., ter was 10i degrees in the shade. ant
q il melted round his neck in thre
:. minutes and fifteen seconds. Thi
e is the fastest time made by pape
!, collar this year
Harper's Bo-dr is authority for tn
:; dictum that a widow should be MAJ
Il ried in a bonnet. IL our opinion thi
IL idea is wrong By the time til
n widow has selected the style of Dor
II net in which she wishes to appear a
l. the ceremony the groom will hav
lost Patience and gone elsewhere fo
II a wife. The best thing for wido'
Ie to he married i'll is in hurry. Ur
II less she has money Then she ca
1t take her time.
4 correspondent Of the NebrdSh
a state journal, describing Il railroa
" he Travelled on in Oregon, says: M
m fellow passenger raised an umbrel
IN when wa ,rnt on board. and said