Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-06-02
HIS PA BLOWN UP.
The Bad Boy Reads the Accounts of Dy-
Mantle Explosions, and Tries the Ex-
pertinent of Destroying His Pas House.

The Bad Boy Reads the Accounts of Dy-
Mantle Explosions, and Tries the Ex-
pertinent of Destroying His PAS House.
You see pa is sort of half Eng
lishman. He claims to be an Ameri-
can citizen when he wants office, but
when they talk about a draft he
claims to be subject of Great Brit
ian, and says they can't touch him,
Pa is darn smart man, and don't
you forget it. There don't any of
them get ahead of pa, much. Well,
pa has said good deal about the
Fenians, and that they ought to be
pulled, and all that; and when
read the story in the papers, about
the explosion in the British Parlia-
ment, pa was hot Pa said there
ought to have been somebody there
to have taken that bomb up and
throwed it in the sewer before it ex-
ploded. He said if he should see a
bomb he would grab it right up and
throw it away where it wouldn't hurt
anybody. Pa has me read the papers
to him nights, cause his eyes have
got splinters in 'em; and after / had
read all there was in the paper 1
made up lot more and pretended to
read it, about how it was rumored
that the Fenians here in Milwaukee
were going to place dynamite bombs
at every house where an Englishman
lived. and at given signal blow
them all up. Pa looked pale around
the gills, but he said he wasn't scared.
Pa and ma were going to call on a
she deacon that night that has lots of
money in the bank to see if she didn't
want to invest in a dead sure paying
silver mine, and me and my chum
concluded to give them a sendoff.
We got my big black ingyrubber
foot ball, and painted 'Dinymight' in
big white letters on it and tied a
piece of tarred rope to it for fuse,
and got a big tirecrecker-one of
these old Fourth of July horse-scarers
and basketful of broken glass.
We put the football in front of the
step and lit the tarred rope, and got
under the step with the firecrackers
and basket. where they go down into
the basement. Pa and ma came out
the front door and down the steps,
and pa saw the football and the
burning fuse. and he said, Great
God, Hammer. we are blowed up and
he started to run, and ma she stopped
to look at it. Just as pa started to
run touched off the firecracker, and
my chum arranged it to pour out the
broken glass on the brick pavement
Just as the firecracker went off.
Well, everything went Just as we ex-
pected, except ma. She had ex--
amined the football, and concluded
it was not dangerous, and was just
giving it kick as the frecracker
went off and the glass fell, and the
firecracker was so near her that it
scared her, and when pa looked
around ma was flying across the side
walk, and pa heard the noise, and he
thought the house was blown to
atoms. Oh, you'd a died to see him
go around the corner. You could
play crokay on his coattail, and his
face was as pale as mas when she
goes to party. But ma didn't scare
much. As quick as she stopped
against the hitching post she knew it
was us boys, and she came down
there, and maybe she didn't maui me.
I cried and tried to gain her sympa-
thy by telling her the firecracker
went off before it was due, and
burned my eyebrows off: but she
didn't let up till l promised to go
and find pa. tell you my ma ought
to be engaged by the British govern
ment to hunt out the dynamite fiends.
She would corral them in two min
utes. If pa had as much sand as ma
has got, it would be VAIN weather
for me. Well, me and my chum
went and headed pa off or l guess he
would be running yet. We got him
up by the lake shore, and he wanted
to know if the house fell down. He
said he would leave it to me if he
ever said anything against the Fe-
mans, and 1 told him he had always
claimed that the Fenians were the
incest men in the world, and it
seemed to relieve him very much.
When he got home and found the
house there he was tickled. and
when ma called him an old bald
headed coward, and said it was only
a Joke of the boys.with football, he
laughed right out, and said he knew
it ali the time, and he ran to see it
ma would be scared. And then he
wanted to hug me, but it wasn't my
night to hug. and / went down to
the theater.- Peck.