The Dickinson press., 1883-07-28
S%ELFISHNESS UNPARALLELED

"A VlslCOr 8L tn0 surrogate q OuCe on b
recent morning might have hearl the
following conversation, if he had hap.
pened in at the right time:
"Mornin', SQUIRE" said the man from
Grafton, as he strobe into the Surro-
gates Office, wearing q fresh weed on
bis hat, but i'll succeeding in the evident
attempt to conceal a high degree of sat-
isfaction under the external show of
sorrow, which propriety seemed to de-
nand.
"Good morning my dear SIR" said the
Surrogate, as he turned from a critical
survey of the bootblack's study in black
ing on the cloth tops of his boots. "You
seem to be in Attic ion. Can I do any
thing for you?"
"Wall, yes, Squire, I have been visit
ed by q di%spensation O. Providence. 80
to speak, and p'r'aps you ken sorter LAY
is, Squire, my wife Hannah died last
mig 1T, an l come into town fer a coffin. |
Hannah was a good savin' woman, an
she's goin' to hev a fust class funeral ell
know myself. N SEEM g I'm here, |
thinks l, I'll jist drop in m see Il I've
got ter 60 through any performance
bout gettin' possession O Hannah's
prop'ty. S'spose it's all right jis' g t is,
amt it, Squirrel"
"That depends, my dear fellow"
said the Surrogate; sit makes all the diff
ference in the world how your wife
came by her property; what it consist
left to inherit it"
"Do tell" said the man from G.. as he
rolled his quid from one cheek to the
other, and 'heaved a sigh-presumahly
ont of respect to the late lamented. "Of
course ! know it's all mine, anyhow, nj
can't for the life of me see what odds all
them things kin make. But | don't
mind tellin' just how tits, squire"
BY this time the ~bystanders began to
show indications oiinterest. Three law
yers who had dropped in to look for a
possible fee arranged themselves in lis
tening attitude; the raw reporter shar-
pened his pencil with Surroga.e's PEN
knife, that functionary the while keep
ing a sharp weather-eye on his property
and the N. from 6. continued:
"0h, but, We see, squire, the deacon
willed all his property to the widder."
and the chuckle which had been ma
turing broadened into something very
like a grin.
Indeed; no children, then, of
course?"
+h Wrong ss3 e az aeg' i hos squire; four on EN-
Didn't the deacon make any provis-
ion for them?"
Wall, 1 s'pose, batwixt you an me,
Squire. he did have an understan'in'
with Hannah that she'd give the young
'uns a home, and leave them the pro-
perty when she died."
"Ye see, Squire, my wife was Deacon
Joshua Gordon's' widder up IN Washing
ton county
"Ah,", Interrupted the Surrogate, GIVE
neerd'o of the Deacon. Left,a handsome
property, Eve undetstood."' -" "'
"Wall, yes, Squire, l guess, I y'r safe
BILE pile $4,000 or t~hereabouts; quite
an inducement to marry the widder,
eh?"
And the m. from G.. manifested a ten
dency to chuck the Surrogate in the ribs,
q familiarity which that official might
have resented at some period more re-
mote from the next county election, but
now contented himself with evading, as
he remarked:
Eyes, l presume so, especially if the
Deacon left no heirs. and"
t'"Do'the children live with you?"
me! Do you ;spose, Squire, Pm
such g tarilation foors tc, marrv'a. hull
family o'lgals m 4 good for 'nothin' boy
int the bargaina No stree, boss, no
other mems! l turned them QUIT grass,
lively, you bet y'r boots's soon's I come
into possession!"
II suppose, at least, their mother
made provision for the children before
her death?"
"Wall, no, Squire, to tell the truth.
she did MT. She did talk one spell bout
maxim a will N givin' the chin halt m
me t'other halt, but 1 kin o. talked her
out on t. Pm up to a thing or two,
Squire; I amt agoin' to take no half loaf
when l kin hev the hull on ;t,ye know!"
"But how did you persuade your wife
to leave her children penniless2"
"oh! l reckon she'd somehow got a
notion T. the law ID allow them suthin'
an I.uidn't o%ndedeive her; he'd MT the
heart to, We ,see." y =, n.f
Here another sigh escaped the manly
bosom OF the m. from e., while the Sur
rogate looked daggers. but proceeded:
WAS your marriage blessed with any
.of-spring?" - WISE
.n ,sA I,y,1 1id ss ySe mean 'squire2' Nary a
".In'what shape was the deacon's pro-
DaraV2U; 80 go
F'"Notes IN mortgages and Guv'ment
bonds, every red cent of it. But jist g
soon 3 / got the management on it /
says: "Hannah, Pm a goin't buy land
with that ere money. Don't want no
notes nor Guv'ments no: no sort O. per-
ishable stuff t show fer my money!"
says l. An Hannah was jist that supple
like she says: Just s you think best
bout that, Elkanah." An don't you
think Squire, that woman was so con-
fden' she wanted me take all them
deeds in my W name!'
sand you did sop
"No, Squire, I 'argu'd like this. /
says:to myself, +Wbat's'' my: wifa's is
mine, except when my creditors get aft
eF it, an then it's just as we'll not to own
any real estate. I've got q long head,
Squire, and don't you forget it. And
when [ owe five hundred dollars It I
amt in no hurry to pay l don't want t
own two much It 3 in sight, you bet!
But come, Squire, I do MT 'spose moth.
ms gotto be done, has there? Pm fixed
all right, amt !? Not that I've any
doubt ont but | thought SEEM rs in I'd
Jest get your Judgment ont, SEEM y
don't cost nothin', while Pm waitin' fel
the coffin. l told 'em to take their time
n durn the Expense, Want we It under.
stand there's nothin' mean about me
Squire"
And the concluding sigh was dead
failure. The m. from G. could see the
acres bought with the deacon's dollars
already bis.
The Surrogate looked him vel 70,
fr,lly two minutes before he replied, anC