Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-11-09
T'USSl.4Eg I'M TIE DARK.
What Caused a Country Parson to
Shut up His Hymn Book
and Swear.
[Arkansaw Traveler.1

! l1AAhdiiottW Lld"OlOlsJ
| While Col. Clint was in the city he was the
guest of the Rev. Mr. Mulkittle-that is, a
part OF the time. In the Mul1ittle house ha
spent several nights very quietly, but after
the fourth night he engaged board at cheap
lodging-house.
| Are you ready to go up to your roomg'
asked Mr.. Mulkittle
| eyes," the conolel replied. ct y4ckin can
sleep, but don't know. Lying around town
don't agree with me- I am used to work.
and if | had couple of trees to chop down |
think l could regain some of my lost physi-
| cal force.'
Don't you call preaching work?o asked
Brother Mulkittle.
'Wel, it is work after fashion, but il
| don't loosen up the joints like splitting rails.
| Did you ever split rails:'
| ''No, and 1 hope I never shall.''
| Il hope you do not consider yourself above
such work.n
CTS not that, Brother Clint. I don't con
! slider myself above milking a COW, but Go
not care to engage in the exercise"
"Why did you single out a cow?n
Gust happened to think of COW, that's
all"
Didn't somebody tell you that milk the
| COWS at home."
II have never heard Of anything Of the
kindn
''Then you are certain you meant no disre-
! spect to me when you referred to the cove?
''Why, my dear sir,Tsuch an idea is pre-
posterous"
mot so preposterous as you may suppo7s,
| sir. know town people have a disposition
to make fun of people who live in the coun-
~, and want you to understand that if I
! AN q country preacher | amt SLOUGH 7
can preach all around any man in this
/ town.
"I think you are over-sensitive, Brother
Clint, and are disposed to be quarrelsome,
This should be an occasion of great brotherly
love, and understand me when l say that l
shall not be instrumental in making it other
wise. Your bed is ready, and there is lamp
in your room. Good night"
Col. Clint, without replying, sought his
room. He lay on the bed and tossed awhile,
and then remorse began to seize him. II
would go down and ask his PARDON he
unused, but he's gone to bed. Hello, what's
thats' and he listened. Somebody outside
quarreling with Mulkittle. I'll go down and
maui the wretch"
Just as Mr.. Mulkittle had stretched him
self en- the bed, his wife, in great fright, ex-
claimed
front door"
Mr.. Mulkittle went to the door and de-
| manded, ''Who's there's"
"Me," replied voice.
"Who's me?"
81 don't know who you are," replied the
voice Of a drunken man. 'Iust have been
out mighty late with the boys if you halter
ask every Teller that comes along who you
are. Who Go you reckin you are, anywayw
and he laughed and slapped himself
III you don't go away from there I'll como
out there and hurt your
''You're the man I want to do business
| with"
II am, eh?" and Mr. Mulkittle threw open
the door. The fellow ran away, Mr.. Null
ldttle following him to the yard gate. just.
as the preacher re-entered the door, he was
confronted by the colonel. The colonel mis-
took Mullxittle for burglar, and it flashed
across Mulkittles mind that the drunken
| dodge had been device to get him away
| from the door so that a robber could enter.
i The twomen did not speak, but grappled with
each other. Mulkittle is not slow in a ''tus-
| sle," and the colonel, a fact proudly recorded
| by historians, is at home in hand to hand
| encounter. There was just light enough in
the hall for the men to see each other,
but not enough to admit of recognition.
Selecting his opportunity with the circum-
spection of a physical scientist, Mr.. Mulkittle
planted stunning blow between the eyes Of his
adversary, but ere he could follow up the adj
vantage thus gained, the colonel violating the
international treaty, struck Mulkittle below
the belt shutting him up like knife. The
colonel sprang forward TO avail himself of
the point gained, but Mulktttle Strengthened
Nx,,it ba colonial an ha Cf
! Then followed q series of scramblings with
view to proper adjustment. Just at this time
! Mrs. Mplkit5le rushed into the hall with the
/ handle of duster. She leveed q blow, shG
did not know at whom, but it struck the
| colonel across the ankle bone.
| ''Hold onl" he yelled, 81 pass. I can stand
| good deal, but when l get . crack across
! that bone I'm done.n
| Great heavens!n exclaimed Mr. Mulkittle,
| els it your
ooh, no." replied the colonel in agony,
| cts not me. It's the Teller chat keeps the
tollgaten
Bring a light. This is very unfortunate,
I declare"
eyes" the colonel replied cts id unfor~
| tunate. don't use such expressions, as &
rule; that is / don't swear by note, but
when a man deliberately sets a trap for me,
| after speaking contemptuously Of ny milking
| COWS, and then gets his wife to hop out and
! whack me with a pole, then 1 shut up tho
| hymn book and swear"
"You are entirely wrong, my dear broth
| err"
| ''Don't brother me- I'll take you out hero
and break you against a tree. Lemme get
the balance of my clothes and I'll leave you. "
| When he came down stairs again, Mrs.
| Mulkittle, seeing that her husband had failed,
| attempted to effect a compromise, but nc
waved her off. 'No, madam, your husband
may be a good man, and may walk beside
| all the still waters he can find, and loli in all
the green pastures in the neighborhood, but
| when man instructs his wife to whack my
ankle bone, I'm done. Good night" and he
sought the cheap iodging-house.