Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-12-14
CHICKEN CHOIE FL "a
rlbly anxious about 1t that she lie losing flesh
light along.

rbly anxious about 1t that she lie losing flesh
right along.
A meuagerie bound for Winter quarters.
ran of the track and smashed up, near Gin.
clnnati, the other day, and now the streets
are so full of monkeys that girls don't bow to
their dude friends at all.
young lady 10 New Bedford, Mass. ex.
pecting to get married. hsd all her new
clothes marked "AIrs" The engagement
suddenly broke off, and now the young wo-
man don't know whether 10 use 'cm up for
dust rags or send 'en 10 the healhcn
It's the convicted murderer who obiects
TO any swinging signs - PhilqdeIsAia Bulh
Tin.
If conscience is wha, makes towards or 10
all, there ought to be great many brave men
these days. Phil,delphia Cal.
Refrigerator cars are kept running nil Win.
ter. Faith, said the Irishman who looked
into one, Its the fusttoime liver saw eel.
lar on whales ,"-Ne'c FORK Commercial 1d.
ctrtiser.
We do not believe in race proscrip,iop.
but the telephone and telegraph companies
nave INSTRUCTED the streets TO that extent
| lhat we are compelled To say, "Ihc Poles
must go ."-BoSton Commercial Bulletin.
The dudes has been one of the most fruit
iui subjects OF newspaper discussion and
Illustration oil the year. and yet President
Arihur's message doesn't devote single line
TO the rdrd dcis. After this national spub.
the dude should subsidc. -Noyristopn Her.
dM
Texas man who lost both hands in n
sawmill has learned TO fire q revolver with
his toes. 1t is confidently thought that he
would have pined away and died of broken
| heart II he had not succeeded in acquiring
the rev form OF skill in the use of weapons
|-Lo,cN CItirea.
"ls blindness ever durable, doctor 2" asked
man OF one OF our NJ. DIS yesterday. "Not
generally" replied the doctor, "but not long
ago saw man stone-bnd temporarily re-
stored bya cup of Coffee GLOW was that ~
lie was eating his dinner, and the waiter
| asked him If he would have coffee He re-
pied, Yes and took cup and saw. SIR
| OIL city Derrick.
An Austin attorney, who had many times
| sent away an impecunious client with equiv
Ocii answers regarding his case, was one day
disturbed under press of business by the
aforesaid client walking into his Office. You
here again 2" said the lawyer, impatiently.
Yes" answered the client. "You told me
to come back another time" "Well, then"
retorted the attorney, II didn't mean this
time, meant some other time" Christian
al Work
The trouble with people who do nothing is
mat they are long time about it.-Ne,c Or
leaas Picayuae.
Heres room REINFORCEMENT" remarked
The teacher as he entered school house.
Nee fo'e Commercial idcertiser
Robert Browning says that it is noblcr to
Wfiic poor poem Than n good criticism.
tobert knows how it is himself, and he has
lois OF sympalhizers. -L0oeN Courier.
When Maine man has tried various kinds
OF business IN order to make money and has
iailed In all, he does not sit down in despair
with Blaming smile, "'iherc's one chance
still left; can dig for Can'an Kidds buried
treasure. '-'S0mercWs JJurRal
At the closing of a concert in Bradford
Wlllc young gentleman was struggling with
his hat, cane, occrcoa', opera glasses, and his
young ladY's fan, all OF which he was trying
10 retain on MS lap, a suspicious looking
Diack bottle from the overcoat pocket fell on
the iloor with loud thud. There - he
exclaimed to his companion, 81 shall lose nv
cough Tedicinc." That was presence Of
Hlhu.-'Sdh fTdHctscJ Post
An exchange heads an item "a Brutal |
Dog Fight" We did not read it. as we take
no interest in brutal" dog fights they arc
100 common. An ic3thctic or gen,lemanly |
do9 tisht would he worth ptrnsing, for its |
novelty ii for nothing else. Boston Tran. |
script.
A baby was born in PENNSYLVANIA rail-
road car recently. 1t probably wore It's frs.
uress en- na'n.- washington Uatchet.
Nearly all the idols worshpped by the
neaInen IN Africa and India are manufactured
III England, and pay handsome profit, ex-
DOCKS, Bibles and tracts sent to the same
destination. The foregoing fact points n
moral as big as wad OF chewing gum in
Vass'r girls mouth. Boom4rang.
weather strips Says an advertisement
winch may be scasonable, although every
Dody KNOWS that warm weather is mos, con-
uuciVe 10 the stripping process. But, come
to think of it, cold weather strips the trees
--Boston Star.
CARA Louise Kellogg says: after one
has been to Paris one thinks more of art and
less OF dollars ~ Clara has evidently scen
an American bonanza king pay French
artist $40, 900 for n five huniel.dollar pic.
ture. NoristOra Herald
A man is under arrest in Los Angeles for
dciraudng widow in ILLINOIS. Here in
san franciso, man who is sharp enough TO
deiraud widow could get the popular vote
LOT president OF any bank in the city San
Francisco Post
The weather clerk at Washington has
struck new dodge. lie now predicts
weather Tor two days ahead, and If on Mon.
day night he says Wednesday will he clear [
and pleasant, the next day he will say that il
Will be cloudy and rainy. and in this way he
seldom makes miss.-Lo,ceH Courier. &
Clicago's pride is again sorcly wounded.
A reliable statistician says that The average
length OF time to secure Il divorce in Con.
necticlt is only fifteen minues.-N. y.
Morning Journal. q