Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-08-17
QUE KALEIDOSCOPE.

| an Ill Wlnu-COllC.
The profession Of arms -heraldry.
A tramp naturally likes to rag a muffin.
An exchange has an article on GLOW
boil and stew" Easy enough. Chase hors
on hot day.
A Buffalo man drinks two barrels of beer
year. Must have sort of double barrclc
nose on him, as it were.
marked IN haste" is the title of la,cl
Issued novel. Many woman marks he
husbands shirts with her own name, bcfor
she thinks.
Wise in her generation: 4 little Boston
girl, passing cemetery said, "Whcn die
would rather be crcmatcd once for all, thai
he buried and sizzlc."
1t is said that Swinburnc writes Nble
stimulated by champagne cocktails. We
had the impression that he got himself mud
died some way.
A crowd of drunken ruilans at Stockton,
CAL, recently celebrated Bostons little rovo.
lutionary ea-party, by boarding schooner
in the harbor and throwing overheard val
liable consignment Of tea. But their "a.
triollsm went step farther-thcy threw the
captain after it.
An exchange says that at Charleston, H.,
a man and wife have recently become insane
from some unknown cause. Living in the
same house, probably.
Lightning recently struck Maryland
camp meeting, and effected more CONVEX
sons in fifteen seconds than had been Sc
cured by five days of cxhortation.
Thirty years ago, young men in Georgia
used to carry about rabbit feet in their peck.
cts, for luck. Now they carry lottery
tickets.
If there is anything which makes man
feel although he knows it isn't his
fault-it is TO try to pull hair out of his
sauce, while taking tea at friends house,
and have it buckle on to about three fourtl 8
of the contents of the dish, and string it all
over the table cloth in the immediate vicin-
ity. It's narrowing.
An article on Swimming by Captain
Webb, has appeared in lIarpcrs Yong
People. 1t is now Shades turn to write an
article on "Sparring."
"Do you believe thul it is unhealthy to
sleep in the open air:" John, II Il
gutter is dry, John, and the night is warm,
it won't hurt you.
During the "Sacngcricst' Mt Buffalo 2l3O
barrels of beer were absorbed That is the
kind of concert that pays.
A lovely Chinese bride was 50 fond Of h,r
pl g-tallcd husband, that she sliced of some
flesh from her arm to make him soup If,
when he was sick. He died.
A Young man from Winnipeg took his
mother, brother and sistcr.in-aw with him
on his wedding trip. If Fox's Book of
Martyrs is ever revised, Just break page
and slip this in.
Virginia has hamlet called Sistcrylile.
The name scarts away all settlers except
'N'"N't hihiile'l lliI.
Out in California; in the rainy season, tic
mud is so bad that they have to scrapc Il
wagon wheel OIL every time it turns around.
Makes it kind of embarrassing for the young
man who takes his girl out to ride, aud sort
Of discouragcs the distribution of tally.
Oscar Wilde is coming back, and his
pictures are for sale again. They make first
rate cmctics, where castor oil or hot water
is not at hand.
1t is said that Gen. Tom Thumb never
read newspaper. Then he never was be.
hind the Timcs3 Poor little man.
a Life of Josh Billings" has Just been
published. As spelling reform has ceased to
boom, we don't sec the peculiar timciucss of
this venture.
Sold short-bob-tailed coats
A bare suggestion Less 90 swimmin
A young lady cmployc in Il book binIcry
received as birthday gif; very handsome
and close fitting muslin dress, with the fol.
lowing note "This simple muslin cover
please accept, though all unworthy of its con.
tents fair. One thing alone fcar-I had it
"rcpped;' so if too binding charge me
the repair" The fair recipient lersely and
graciously replied: Letter press"
The proprietors of Chinese laundries are in.
dignant because their employees have refused
to sleep any longer on piles Of dirty linen,
and have demanded beds instead. Perhap
the owners of the dirty linen might have
something to say about it,
II the liberaists keep on, they will final
ly reduce Hades to sort of fashionable post
norton resort where sulphur baths are fur
nished without extra charge.
The crops in Russia are suffering greatly
for want OF rain, and the people are so in
dignant that they are going to treat the Car
to an extra dose Of dynamite
An exchange says that fashion coming
much IN vogue in city houses is to utilize odd
corners in the drawing or sitting-rc ON for
bookcases. Not tina, the books arc ever ex-
pccted to be opened, you know, for more
than half of them are nothing but handsome
covers on blocks of wood but ,icn they give
the room such literary air, and help to fill
up those bare places that aren't quite nice
enough for sunilowcr PLAQUES and old broken
jugs.
If there is anything that makes man fee
foolish, and sets all his teeth on edge it is tC
strike what he supposes is nice little fun
ny poem in newspapers aud turns out some
what as follows
Softens the hair when harsh and dry.
Smoothcs the lrritatcd scalp.
Affords the richest lustrc.
Prevents the hair from falling oil.
Great Scot and yet they say du1,