National Republican., 1883-02-02
wH1sTLERs are always good-natured.


down Mssouris Vest.
DALLAS, Texas, is said to bo built over
graveyard ofmastodons
THERE are 10000 colored Baptists in Ten
nessee, with 150 churches.
Witty sayings are as easily lost as the
pearls slipping of broken string.
STRAWBERRIES in Florida are ripe. Mus
quitoes are approaching maturity.
THERE is n kangaroo in Philadelphia that
can play Home, Sweet Home" on an accordion.
ANOTHER evidence of the general dsquiet
prevailing in Europe is the swift armng of Italy,
TRoTT1NG on tho ice at Lake George is
now the popular sport, and the races are largely
| attended
A TURKEY belonging to William A. Freas,
Of Whitcmarsh, lived twenty.six days without food
or drink.
PERHAPS few more accidents like that of
the Cimbria may put electric lights OH to the bows
ofoceau steamers.
SOME rascally Bedouins have stolen the
throne of King John of Abyssinia. 1t was brand
new one on its way to him from Alden.
A YOUNG lady at Hartford City, Ind, com
| mitted suicide Wednesday last because she
thought she was too young TO marry.
THE impatient man, however brilliant sell
|
success by not waiting for the harvest.
A YosToN dentistess is so pretty that "she
could coax mans tooth out by just putting her
hand under his chin and asking for it."
HUXLEY calls the heart, the brain, and tho
stomach the "tripod Of life" Cincnnaus tripod
Of life is composed of beer, pork, and music.
SAVINGS banks are at once an indication
ofand an incentive to economy among the people,
and should be encouraged by every possible
means.
Mrs JOHN JACOB AsToR is said to be the
only lady in New York, or any other city, whose
earthly possessions include dinner service of
solid gold.
A DOMINION journal says in burst of
frankness: "Indestructble chicken has long been
a feature of some of our Canadian railway refresh.
ment rooms"
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES says there is
nothing in the world tenderer than the pity that
kind hearted young girl has for young man
wlro feels lonely.
THE monster steamer Great Eastern is
lying idle at Milford Haven, England. The own.
ers can neither employ her prohtably nor sell her
ut any reasonable price.
AN effort is being made to get the govern
ment to purchase the Niagara falls 1t is thought
the income from the hack stands will pay Off tho
national debt in few months.
IT is said that the hieroglyphs on the obe-
lisk will become oblierated in the course Of 5000
years. All who have not seen the shaft should
hasten to New York before it is too late.
THE queen of Servia cannot play the piano,
nor embroider, nor paint, but she writes all her
husbands letters while he plays billiards. Unfvr-
tunatey she has no slsters-Chicdgo Tribune.
EIGHTEEN base ball lunatics played match
game OF their favorite lunacy on the ice in New
York one day last week. The sorrowful informa-
ton also reaches us that the ice was othn to
bear them.
ONE of experience says there is probably no
time in u womans life moro trying or when she is
more heavily laden with the of responsibility
than the first time she is left entirely alone with
her first baby.
AS matter of relief to his customers, who
are compelled to use 1t, and of time saving to him.
self in writing 1t, Mr. John Dannigligenberger, IL
shoemaker at Centralia, Ohio, has asked the llgs-
lature to change his name to John Berger.
THE Philadelphia Press says that "many
male brute who snarls and growls at his wife in
Alblic is very loving and tender when no one else
is around" How the Philadelphia editor discov.
cred this fact is not stated.-Chicd0o tribune.
"DoEs your Helen remind you of Helen Of
Troy?" she asked sweetly us the sofa springs fat
tened under pressure Of 1GO pounds mo, not
plGNlHcly yOu lcullhu iuOlS VI VI ANOu-
dupois," was the scaly Ieply.--Brooklyn U1ton.
POLISH servant girl, fresh importation,
was caught stealing from her mistress in New
York, and when arrested pleaded that she UNDER
stood 1t was the custom in this country for servant
girls to steal the dresses, &C., of their employers.
The birth of triplets is again announced in
, Ohio. They do things better in that state than
they do In Arkansas, which, as before announced,
boasts of a girl with three tongues. In Ohio you
see they do not stop at tongues but go the whole
hog, as 1t were,
Mr.. ST.. JOHN, of Kansas, one of the deadest
of governors, is have banquet and ovation in
Boston on Washington's birthday; but 1t is safe
{ predict that the most lively governor that ever
. stepped foot in Massachusetts since December,
/ 1920, will not take part in the demonstration.
r A PROVIDENCE woman over sixty years of
, age always stands the front platform of the
with the driver regardless Of cold or storm, talks
: horse like professional and is greatly offended
If the driver stops the TO let her Off preferring
to show her agility by hopping off like sprlghtly
Il boy,
THE present king of Portugal is fully
abreast of his fellow soveregns of Europe in edu-
cation and advanced ideas lie keeps close
=, watch upon new inventions and discoveries, and
!, Is quick to adopt any that may prove of real
u merit. He has just had an elaborate telephone
system established between his library the offices
of the various ministers and the OPERA so that hG
" can, without moving from his chair, alternately
}, occupy himself with his books and the trans
II laton by which he has distinguished himself
with music, and with the duties and cares of state
GEORGE ALFRED TOWNSEND (Gath) II
meeting with crowded houses in the west. Hi
lecture, "Thomas the Doubter," is said TO be M
IS exceedingly interesting one. He recently lee
/ tured before the Unity club of Cincinnati, at The
:, Grand opera house in that city. The house was
u so crowded that when the curtain rolled up dis
u closinga "prson scene," with large number o
% ladies and gentlemen seated on the stage, because
d unable TO obtain even standing room in the audi
II torium, the "set" of the scene was too much fo
% the dignity of the house, and it applauded til,
n disclosure.
EMMA ABBoTT who has achieved n higl
reputation as an accomplished stage kisser, i
10 confronted with formidable rival in the persol
la of New York actor, who succeeded in throwing
~ a warmth and intensity into his osculatory per
formances which the lady, II is talked, has neve
yet attained. one of the ladies of the compan!
has left because she could not stand the wear ant
tear of such exciting exercises, but another ha
been engaged In her place. capable, II is believed
MS of standing the most vigorous kisses he can be
to stow. The kissing, OF which there Is abundance
I'm the performance became decided feature o
le the play, and the actor leaped into renown b.
m reason of his kissing alone. Instead Of permitting
him TO flourish as a rival, Miss Abbott shoub
engage this impassioned kisser for her own CON