The Lincoln County leader. [volume] (White Oaks, Lincoln County, N.M.) 1882-189?, 1883-05-12

his works contained much food for
thought" n friend remarked
That may be so; butt is wretch
eddy cooked"
From the time a boy is eight
years old until he is thirteen he de
votes two solid hours of every day
of his busy life to learning how to
make a new kind of noise.
"What is the name of your cat,
sirl" inquired a visitor. "Hisname
was William" said the host, "until
he had fits, and since then we have
called him Fitz William
A clock having struck the hour
of one, a tender-hearted woman ex-
claimed "Oh! what a cruel clock!!"
''why so!" asked a friend. ''Be-
cause it struck its little one!'
Mistress to new cook-"On Wed
nosdays and Saturdays | shall go to
market with you" New cook
VERY well, mum, but who's ago
IN to carry the basket, NUM-"
"Aren't you fond of gazing at
heavenly bodies!" she asked, as
they stood shivering in the morn
ing air, watching the comet. eyes,
dear" he murmured softly, as he
looked her in the eye.
A young man entered a barber
shop and said he wanted his hair
cut commodore style. After some
investigation and inquiry it was dc
termincd that a pompadour was
what was wanted.
A New York hotel-keeper has
$4,000 invested in horse-hesh,
and some people are wishing he
would sell one Of his horses and
buy a few towels for upper bed
rooms N Neaos.
Mrs. Yerger told Mrs. Spillkins
that when Colonel Yerger came
home from hunting lie was dread
fully sunburnt. When Mrs. Spill
kins told her husband how Colonel
Yerger got sunburnt, Spillkins
laughed and said: "Any man can
go down into a dark cellar and get
sunburnt if he takes a quart Of
whisky with him, as Yerger does
when he goes out hunting"
A little fellow ran to his mother
and asked: "Ma, can l have
some bread and JAM" His moth
er, wishing to break him Of the
vicious habit, replied: when |
was your age | couldn't get any
thing to eat between meals if |
wanted it," "Yes," said the boy
after a moments pause, "but you
didn't have a good, nice mamma
like me, did you3" That settled
it.
A Californian was told by a law
yer that, in consequence of an in
accurate statement in a newspaper
article about him, he could get
heavy damages, and so he consen-
ted to the bringing Of a suit. On
the trial his character was shown
to the jury in so unpleasant a light
that they decided to have been in
.iured by the publication to the ex-
tent Of only one dollar. His ex-
penses were $500, and he now sues
his counsel for that sum, on the
ground that his advice was bad.
A bridal couple boarded the train
at Kentville the other day. The
groom was a strapping fellow and
squeezed the bride into a seat next
the window. One of the train hands
who was posted put the newsboy
up to bringing in a box Of baby
~rattles offering the embarrassed
party their choice for five cents
Az sorts of excuses We're offered by
the man as reasons for not buying
Finally he ILade a clean breast o
the situation with "See here young
fellow I've only been married
little over fifteen minutes Give II,
Arrest. We don't want to set house
, keeping right here in the car
Keep your tinware an I'll be alon,
; next year. lfthe returns are sat
. isfactory, Illbuy yourhull caboodle
q A man recently in Troy laid
= wager that he would WOO, win an,
: marry a young lady who, he hal
= Just seen arrive at the hotel wher
I he was living. he introduced hin
seIfto the damsel, she smiled upo,
his suit, a minister was called il
/ and they were married within a.
d hour. The wager, ofno inconsiC
n cradle amount, was handed over t
= the bridegroom, who left, with hi
bride the following day. 1t wa
afterwards discOyprpd that tho cor