The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-06

NOT MUCH OF A SHOW.
There was Neither skamgstibus, an AL
muth, nor "A Flipcoohly

There WAS Neither II Skamgstibus, an AL
muth, nor IA Flipgoohly.
The other morning, while the urbane
manager of Woodward's Gardens was smok-
ing tour.bit cigar and medtatively listen:
ing TO the muilled walls of q tom-cat that
had JUS; been swallowed alive by the big
anaconda, tail, thin, scientihc.looking
man, with a goatee and blue glasses, en-.
tered the gate and remarked in an insinu
ating manner;
"Of course you pass the scientific fra
ternity ?"
"OI course we do not,n said the show.
man.
What, not the savants, not the pioneers
in the great march of the mind into the
hither,and Of the infinite beyond?" re.
turned the professor, with great surprise.
Il Will not deceive you,h sarcastically
replied the proprietor OF the only salaman.
der; I'VE pass nothing but the quilts on the
tretlul porCupines-l mean the press. You
can't see the ostridges unless you come
down and put up"
Dear me, dear me ~ sighed the scientist
reilectively. ITO think that professor o.
cosnographic c0nchology should be denied
admittanCe to third class zoo Has tht
skamgatibus been fed YETI"
which, asked the tiger i'm
porter.
The skamgatibus. You've got one
haven't your
"Y -e-s.s; believe we've got small fe
male somewheres, said the grizzly 5 friend
doubtGully.
II never kew first-class collection t
| have less than tvopalr,' said the professor
contemptuously.
How do your azimuths stand this cole
weather, eh?''
"Azimuths?" asked the Napoleon aggre
\ gator of Curiosites; what's them? Som,
new kind of bird-you don't mean tn,
I oStri-?"
"Ostridges be hangedl" said the success
sor of Darwin; "ostridges are nothing w
shot more ostridges with quail shot thai
| you've got hairs on your head You don
actually mean 10 sit there and tell me yo,
haven't got a single a2imuth to your back2'
Don't believe have" admitted the al
| ligator breeder, mortified what are the,
! like"
"Oh, they're of the order Spinalis spiC
motifs, about eight feet high Fur pees Of
In the spring, you know-the Siberian spr
| NiN', H'NNA' q oAHH'Ao sbh We Epl ilt u
those rectangular African ilipgoohies tina
reached New York the other day."
mo; I'm darned if did" said the niue
agitated Snowman. "lIere I've been keeI
ing an agent in New York on n big salary t
look out for attractions, and he doesn
catch on TO the first blamed thing. Spend
all our money ON secondhand panther
and kangarOos with the rheumatcs. T.
bounce him by telegraph
Haven't even got II ilipgoohly, eh?
unused the scientist, in a tone OF great pity
And shouldn't be surprised if YOU dldn
have a gold-creSted cuspidor in your Who'll
show"
Neither have; neither have, reptile
the wreched promoter of pelicans, in
tone Of great bitterness "S'pose YOU Jus
step in, sir, and look round; mebbe there
something else you could say"
"N-n-u, guess not, said the tall mar
ut would hardly pay me to spend so muc
valuable scientific time in fourth ella.
show ike this. Not even an s2imuth, Ell
| should think you'd be afraid of bein
actually mobbed some time I'm sorry fc
you, my good man; sorry for you. I've n
doubt You mean we'll but--not soitar
skamgatibus? Great Scott,"- [San Frar
cisco Post.