The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1883-02-01
Douglas Jerrold's Sayings.

My friend. the late Sam Phillips, one
day met Douglas Jerrold, and told him
he had seen, the day before, Payne
Collier, looking wonderfully gay and
wsil-quite an evergreen. sAh," said
Jerrold, she may be evergreen, but he .
never read" On my repeating this to
Hicks, he smiled and said, ::Now that 9
what I call ready wit
Jerrold was in France, and with a
Frenchman who was enthusiastic on
the subject of the Anglo French Alli-
ance. He said that ne was proud tC see
the English and French such good
friends at las. Jerrold-Tut! the best
thing I know between France and Eng
land is-the sea.
A very popular medical gentleman
called on Jerrold one day. When the
visitor was about to leave, Jerrold, look
ing from the library window, espied his
friends carriage. Jerrold- What, doc
tor! see your livery is measle turned
up with scarlet fever.
The laws a pretty bird, and has
charming wings. 'Twould be quite a
bird of paradise If it didn't carry such
q terrible bill.
One of the Hooks and Eyes, was
expatiating on the fact that he had
dined three times at the Duke OF Dew
onshire's, and that on neither occasion
had there been any fish at table. II
cannot account for it." he added. II
ean," said Jerrold; ''they ate it all up
stairs"
4 friend-let as say Barlev-was de-
scribing 10 Jerrold the story 6 his
eouroship and rnarrisge-how his wife
had been brought up in a convent, and
vss On the point of taking the veil
when his presence burst upoa her en-
raptared sight. Jerrold listened to the
end. Of shs story, and by way oS conf
nent said, ''Ah. che evidently thought
Barlow better than num-"
At q meeting Of the literary gentle
men > proposition fU the establishment
OF newspaper arose. The shares A
the vsrious persons Who we're 10 be Ia
tercsted we're in course ct arrangement,
when an unlucky printer suggested an
absent htterotesr who vas as remark
able for his imprudence As fw his tai
snt ''Whats' exclaimed Jerrold;
''share and risk with him! Why, I
wouldn't be partners with him in an
acre q ParadlSe!
Jerrold was seriously disappointed
With 8 certain book written BY one of
his friends. The friend heard that Jer-
rold had expressed his disappointment
Friend Ito Jerrold)-I hear you said
-was the worst book ever wrote.
Jerrold-No, I didn't. l said it was
the worst book anybody ever wrote.
A gentleman who enjoyed the repu-
tation of dining out continually and
breaking bread with the refinement of a
gourment, once Joined a party, which
included Jerrold, late in the evening.
The diner-out threw himself into a chair
and exclaimed, with disgust, ''Tut! ]
had nothing but mean mutton chop
for dinnerr' Jerrold-Ah, see; you
dined at home.
Jerrold and some friends were dining
in private room at a tavern. After
dinner the landlord appeared, and. hav-
ing informed the company that the
house was partly under repair and that
he was inconvenienced for want of
room, requested that stranger might
be allowed to take a chop at a separate
table in the apartment. The company
dSSentcu, anu Inc StTdhSer, person OF
commonplace appearance, was intro
duced. He ate his chop in silence; but
having finished his repast he disposed
himself for those forty winks which
make the sweetest sleep Of gourmets.
But the stranger snored SO loudly and
inharmoniously that conversation was
disturbed. Some gentlemen of the par
ty now Jared glasses or shuffied upon
the floor. determined to arouse the OBJ
noxious sleeper. Presently the stranger
started from his sleep and to his legs.
and shouted to Jerrold, 81 know you,
Mr.. Jerrold; but you shall not make a
butt of mer' Then don't bring your
hogs head in herer' was the prompt
reply,