The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-09-19
The Rad BOy.


sheeted form in the doorway of the
grocery, one evening, and the grocery
man got behind a cheese box, while
the ghost continued in sepulchral
voice, "doomed for a certain time to
walk the night" and, waving a chair
round, the ghost strobe up to the gro
cery man, and with the other ghostly
hand reached into a box of figs.
"No, you amt no ghost" said the
grocery man, recognizing the bad boy.
"Ghosts do not go prowling around
groceries stealing figs. What do you
mean by this sinful masquerade busi-
ness? My father never had no ghost."
"Oh, we have struck it now," said
the bad boy, as he pulled off his mask
and rolled up the sheet he mad worn
around him. eve are going to have
amateur theatricals to raise money to
have the church carpeted, and I am
going to boss the job"
"You don't say" answered the gro
Gerry man, as he thought how much he
could sell to the church people for a
strawberry and ice cream festival, and
how little he could sell for amateur,
theatricals. "Who is going into it.
and what you going to playS
"Pa and ma, and me, and the
minister, and three choir singers, and
my chum, and the minister's wife, and
two deacons, and an old maid are
rehearsing, but we have not decided
what to play yet. They all want to
play different play, and l am fixing
it so they can all be satisfied. The
minister wants to play Hamlet" pa
wants to play Grip Van Winkle," ma
wants to play Mary Anderson. the old
maid wants ito play boarding-school
play, and the choir singers want an
opera, and the minister's wife wants
to play "Lady Macbeth" and my
chum and me want to play double
song and dance, and / am going to
give them all show. We had
rehearsal last night, and am the
only one able to be around to-day.
You see they have all been studying
different plays, and they all wanted to
talk at once. We let the minister sail
in first. He had on apair of his wife's
black stockings, and a mantle made
of a linen buggy lap blanket, and he
wore a mason's cheese knife such as
these fellows with poke bonnets
and white feathers wear when
they get an invitation to funeral
or an excursion. Well, you never
saw "Hamlet" murdered the way he did
it. His Interpretation of the charac-
ter was that Hamlet was dude who
talked through his nose, and while he
was repeating Hamlet's soliloquy, pa,
who had come in with an old hunting
suit on, as Rip Van Winkle, went to
sleep, and he didn't wake up till Lady
Macbeth came in, in the sleep-walking
scene. She couldn't find knife, so l
took slice of watermelon and sharp
ened it for her, and she male q mis-
take In the one she was to stab, a1d
she stabbed Hamlet in the neck with
slice of watermelon, and the core of
the melon fell on pas face as he lay
asleep as Rip, and pa woke up and felt
the COB of watermelon on his face and
he thought he had been murdered, and
ma came in hop, skip and jump, as
Parthenia, and threw her arms
around a deacon who was going to
play the grave-digger, and began to
cal him pet names, and pa was mad,
and the choir singers they began to
sing, in the North sea lived whale"
and then they quit acting. You'd
dide to see Hamlet. The piece of
watermelon went down his neck,
and Lady Macbeth went off and left
it in the wound under his collar,
and ma had to pull it out, ami
Hamlet said the seeds and the juice
was running down inside his shirt,
and he said he wouldn't play If he was
going to be stabbed with slice of
melon, so while his wife was getting
the melon seeds out of his neck, and
drying the juice on his shirt, L sharp
ened a cucumber for Lady Macbeth to
use for dagger, but Hamlet kicked
on cucumbers, too, and l had more
trouble than any stage manager ever
had"
"By gum" said the grocery man.
" would like to have seen that min
lister as Hamlet. Didn't he look funny?"
Funny Well, l should remark.
He seemed to predomina:e. But at
the next rehearsal am going to work
in an act from "Richard the Third, and
my chum is going to play the China
man of the Danites," and l guess we
will take the cake. Say, l want to
work in an idiot somewhere. How
would you like to play the idiot. You
have TO rehearse or any
thing"
At this point the bad boy was seen
to go out of the grocery real spry, fol-
lowed by box of wooden clothes pins
that the grocery man had thrown after
him.-Pe.ES Sqtn.