davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01

EASY ENOUGH :-"Howcan 1 keep the cat
tie from breaking down the fence to get into
my garden at nights 20 said an Austin man
to neighbor. "That's easy enough" "But
how can keep the cattle from breaking down
the fence 90 ''By leaving the gate open"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01

MISERABLE MARRIED MEN AND BACHEL-
ORs.-The statistical fend has calculated that
67 per cent. of marriages are unhappy Yes,
and 81 per cent. of bachelors have holes in
their stockings, and 100 per cent. of bachelors
have the neck bands of their shirts frayed so
that they are only few degrees removed from
guillotine when starched. Who's ahead p
Wilminqton Ners.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01

PLANS FOR THE YEAR.-System contrib,
utes to success in farming as well in other
pursuits. TO reach high success it must be
adopted in farm operations. Plans for the
years work should now be determined and
all arrangements made that can be for fully
carrying them out.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01

MAKING 1T UNHEALTHY FOR A HUSBAND.
Mrs. Samuelson, an Austin lady, did not know
that Mrs. Flapjack was a widow, so when the
latter spoke of her late husband the former
remarked ''My old man came home late once
when We were first married, but he never risk
ed it second time. You should make it un-
healthy for your latehusband to stay out late at
nights, and then you would have him just where
you could put your hands on him after dark ~
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01

A GREATLY RELIEVED WOMAN.-A South
End woman received telegram, and her face
blanched and her hand trembled as she held
the unopened envelope before her. Giving it
to her daughter, she said "Read it," The
girl obeyed. sPapa has broken his leg and
gone to the hospital, she said. The mothers
face frightened, "Thank heaven it is no
worse" She said {; 81 feared he might be going
to bring somebody to dinner" ."-BoSton Post.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01
NOW READY.
History of the Associate Reformed Synod
of the SOuth.

IN the above Work, endeavored to give con-
1 else and accurate history Of the causes which
led to the secession of 1913, under the Erskines,
together with full and detailed account of the
organization ofthc old Associate Reformed Syn
od, the General Synod, and the parties entering
into the heorganzations. The history of the Asso-
ciate Reformed Church in the South is traced
from it's beginning through the Presbytcry ofthe
Carolinas and Georgia, the Synod of the Carroll
mas and the Synod Of the South, down to the
present time In addition to this, a brief histo-
ry is given Of the Reformed Presbyterian and
United Presbyterian Churches.
The Work is printed on good clear type, on
good heavy paper, is bound in cloth, and contains
four hundred and eighteen pages. 1t will be sold
at 1925 either at my office or delivered by mail.
Address, r. LATHAM,
Yorkville, s. C.
October 10 ~ II
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01

A MAN WITH A RETENTIvE MEMORY
''Talk about memory said an Arkansaw man,
I've got the most retentive memory of any man
in the country. 1 can remember things that
occurred when Twas child" 81 don't think
your memory is so very good, "said an acquain-
tance. "You borrowed $40 from me some
time ago and you have forgotten the circum-
stance" mo, sir, you are wrong. You
way. Well that's on account of my memory"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01

MEDICAL ADVICE Country doctor Ito
Tomkins) )-'Now, with regard to that cut on
the top of your head, don't think it viii! be
serious, but you must keep your eye on it. :"
And Tomkins, who has the slightest suspicion
of squint, goes away and dis-recommends
that doctor .-MOonShine.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01
HOUSE AND LOT FOR SALE.

TINHE undersigned offers for sale, the LOT in
l Yorkvile, known as the "Meck Place." 1t
is situated near the Methodist Church, and con-
tains Two. ACRES tmore Or less 0R:the lot is
twO-story Dwelling House, containing SIX
LARGE ROOMS AND \ BASEMENT, lum-
Der house, cOrn-crib and stables.
Terms will be made easy, l.. NJ. GRIST.
November = 45 tt
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01

AMUSING MIsTAKEs.-Many an amusing
mistake has been made by people hard of hear
ing. We are told that certain Dean of Ely
was once at dinner, when just as the cloth was
removed the subject of discourse happened to
be the extraordinary mortality among law
yers, "We have lost," said a gentleman, mot
less than seven eminent barristers in as many
months" The Dean who was deaf, rose just
then at the conclusion of these remarks, and
gave the company grace: "For this and every
other mercy make us devoutly thankful" On
another occasion, at military dinner in
Ireland, the following was on the toast-list
''May the man who has lost one eye in the
glorious service of his beloved country never
see distress with the other" But the person
whose duty it was to read the toast accidental.
ly omitted the important word "distress, u
which completely changed the sentiment, and
caused no end of merriment by the blunder.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01

SAVE MONEY! SAVE MONEY!!
"AVINCi withdrawn all agencies and placed
ri our business on naSTRICrLY Il CASH BASIS,
thereby sauing agents. commissions, and losses IN
bat debts, weare enabled to sell our well-known
Fertilizers, viz:
WILCOX, .GIBBES & CO. IS S-MANlPULATED
(,JIA Mo- = = ESss : =
WILCOX, GIBBES & CO.'S SUPERPHOS-
PHATE,
Direct to merchants and farmers, at VERY LOW
PRICES, by the single ton, carload, or larger
quantity for the Cash. Write for prices.
WILCOX, GIBBES d. CO.,
Charleston, $. C., and Savannah. Ga.
January Is ~ I'm
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01

THE CONsIDERATE MoTHER.-Mrs Peter
Schinsky is one of those Austin ladies who
take much better care of their animal pets
than they do of their children. She has pet
poodle by the name of Fido. Yesterday, Mrs.
Schihsky's little boy, Bob asked his mother /:
'Shall give Fido this piece of sugar he is is
begging for? ?" "No, my child, it might spoil
his teeth. Fat it yourself, Bobby"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01
DENTAL NOTICE.
H DR.. w. NJ. WALKER,

H DR.. w. NJ. WALKER,
lb RESIDENT SURGEON DENTIST,
Respectfully tenders his professional services to
the citizens of Yorkville and vicinity. He is
well prepared, with instruments of the most ap-
proved style, and all modern appliances, supple
mented by Il continuous practice of twenty five
years, to guarantee satisfaction. zS
In keeping with the general reduction of
prices, he proposes to furnish complete UPPER
AND LOWER SETS, of the best material, for
5000; SINGLE SETS, either upper or lower,
$1,000 and for partial sets, more than two teeth,
S4.OO PER TOOTH. Patrons waited on at their
residences out of town, charged for expenses OF
visit.
July6 q tt
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01

ssg No man is ever off duty. In all places
and at all times he is to be armed, watchful,
ready for his work. The Scriptures make no
provisions for ''putting off, the armor of God.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01

say Church fellowship, as means, is to be
honored and improved ; but us an end OF rell-
gion it is utterly worthless ; and if depended
on Of for salvation, it will prove to be one of the
wiles of Satan, by which the soul is enticed to
its OWL ruin.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01

Hgr Comforts, though aloyed, are more than
we deserve; and, therefore, our complaints
must not drown our thankSgivngs.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01
Ii ME-.

Ill Es
VNRESH ROACHED LIME for sale ut my
Kiln, l.. miles East of Blacks Station, s. c.,
known as the"Greene Kiln" Orders for Lime
in Barrels will have prompt attention. Price Is
cents per bushel at kiln. Black Station, ;. {.
j. w. RHYME.
April IA ly
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01

CHATTEL MORTGAGES,
MORTGAGES n of Real Estate. and Titles to
lYl Real Estate. For sale mt the
ENQUIRER OFFICE.
December7 40 If
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01
JOB PRINTING.


OWING to our superior facilities with the best
~ machine presses, an abundance of type and
tirst-class appointments throughout our office,
PRINTING in superior style, and at prices that
will compare with New York or Philadelphia
charges for the same quality Of work and mate
rails We have recently made reduction III
prices for the following classes fwork, to which
we invite the attention of business men:
BILL HEADS.
For 500 For 1000
Half-sheet Bill Heads, s,..""."".S3.50 $500
Fourth-sheet Bill Heads, ....-... 2.25 $50
Sixth-sheet Bill Heads, s,...-...... 200 300
Monthly statements at same price Of fsiXth-shect
DILL heads. We will fill an order for bill heads,
giving any desired number of either size of sheet
ut propOrtionate prices.
LETTER HEADS.
For 500 For 1000
Commercial Note,."...".."..."S2.l5 1925
Packet Note .. ............. 225 $50
Letter Qarge size) ....... 300 800
For the above work we use superior quality
of paper, and guarantee entire satisfaction in ev
cry instance.
We also give special attention to the printing
of Briefs, Arguments and Points and Authori-
ties, which we furnish strictly according to the
requi 'ements Of the Justices Of the Supreme
Court and in proof reading exercise the utmost
care to ensure accuracy.
We are prepared to furnish all other kinds OF
printing, from visiting card to large volume,
and will be pleased to furnish estimates for any
stve of work desired. Address,
xovsmner 30 L. NJ. GRIsTs Il Yorkville' Sc &C.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01
The Autkrille Gnqnirer.

TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Single copy for year, r......................S so
+ fOr SIX InOnlnS, i I'd
FOR tnree months, %
Two copies one year, ....... .................. 90
Ten copies one year. 20 90
And an extra copy for club of ten.
ADVEtTISINGR RATES..
ONE DOLLAR per square for the irst inser-
ton, and FIFTY CENTS. per square. for each
subsequent insertion. A square consists of the
space occupied by seven lines of this size type.
I-s'~ Contracts will be made at reduced rates for
advertising space to be used for three, six, or
twelve months.
E1s- Tributes of Respect and Obituary notices
charged for at the rate of ten cents line. Usu-
ally there are about seven words in line
fis- Rejected manuscripts will not be returned
to the writers. Persons who send manuscript to
this office for publication and desire copy ofthe
same, should make duplicate.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01
DISSOLUTION.
NOTICE.

nERSONS living along the post route from
YORKVILLE to CHARLOTTE, n. c., desi-
ring to subscribe for the YoRKvILLE ENQUIRER,
and to whom it is inconvenent to receive their
papers at post office, will have their papers de-
fivered to them FREE OF CHARGE for carry
ing, by putting their names on my club.
G. 4. DORSET.
Novombcr l6 46 tt
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01
NOTICE..
NOTICE..

DERSONS living along the post route from
Yorkville to Bullock's Greek, desiring to
subscribe for the ENQUIRER, and to whom it is
nconvcncnt to receive their papers at Il post Of
FREE OF CHARGE for carrying, by putting
their names on my club. JAMES c. WOOD.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-02-01

CHANGE OF SCHEDULE.
AN and after November 5th, 1882 Passenger
~ Train Service on the Atlanta and Charlotte
Air Line Division will be as follows:
EYPPESS EA STWApn
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1883-01-11

A COURAGEOUS ACT.

| Courage is not confined to fields where
hostile armies meet. This has been
demonstrated many times, and finds a
new illustration i'm the actions of the
Republican members of the Michigan
legislature who demand a senatorial
caucus in which nomination shall
require 67 Republican votes.
These gentlemen are not office seek
ers. And they are moved only by
their consciences Around them are
s"arns Of Office holders with promises
in their mouths and honeyed induce
ments on their tongues; and behind
them is tremendous party machinery,
threatening their political destruction
BefCr1 and behind they are assailed
with iud icsments and threats, directed
only to one end, TO force them into the
machine where they may be driven like
men in a tread mill at the will of its
"boss."
Thc 50 gentlemen are deserving Of the
highest honor and long remembrance
by the Republicans of Michigan
They find the party demoralized.
They find the caucuses packed.
They find many of its assembly con
ventions with federal officers behind
them pulling the strings.
They find the result of these conven-
tions a mere trick of political legerde-
main.
They find federal Offices bestowed
for personal advantage.
They fad amlciine everywhere and
everywhere used for the advantage of
Senator Ferry.
They find the federal officers who
run the machine for him, now at Ian
sing. abusing and threatening every
honest man who raises his voice against
the sucsess of the trick.
And they find Republicans-the most
| beral and most active Republicans in
all parts of the state-demanding re-
form.
These gentlemen, signers of the 9th
call. disgustel at the wrongs which
nave angered 80 many other Rrpubl-
cans, have taken it in hand to apply
+, medy. From what we know of he
courage and character OF these gentl
men we are justified in b lieving they
will su cceei
If they do succeed, as they can. AID
as We believe they Will, ia reforming
the method into which Republican
management has been carried by Sen
ator Ferry and his followers, they Will
be entitled to Il e credit of preserving
the Republican arty.-l'ost & Trib-
une.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1883-01-11
HOW A WOMAN KEEPS AC-
COUNTS.

1t is touching, sight to see wo-
man begin 60 make up her expenses,
having firmly resolved TO put down
every cent she spends, so as to find out
how to economize and where all the
mo ey goes. Procuring small book,
.e makes due entry, and on the
Monday after the first Saturday on
which her hu b n brings home his pay
she carefully tears the margin off u
newspaper, and with blunt pencil
str kes a trial balance something in
this way:
John brought me home 54S 60, and
ST. / had is $40 .G3, and 81 | lent
Mrs. Dixon is $50, 93-but hold on |
ought not to enter that, because when
she returns it, it'll go down. That
was $40. 93, and what have done with
thatp
Then she puts down the Fl CURES, leav-
ing out the items to save time-a pro
cess which enables her TO leave out
most of the items to where a round sum
is involved, on the suppositon that
they hav. a,ready, been put down.
AS thus:
Six dollars and IA cents for meat,
and 10 cents for celery, and 10 cents
on the street cars, and a bad ) cents
piece got in exchange, and S2.S1 /
paid the milkman-who owes Inc 19
cents-that's33 and Il cents at church
and the groceries they were either
Sl5. GO or $3.50, and / don't remem-
ber which they were but ! guess il
must have been $3.50, for the grocer
said that if would give him dime e
would give me half n dollar, which
would make even change, and |
couldn't, because the SIN llleSt l had
was a quarter-and 50 Is for mending
katie's shoes, which is the last money
that shoemaker ever gets from me, and
ten cents for celery-no / put that
down.
finally 81 sums UP her trial-balance
sheet, and find tlat it foots up 36l2S.
which is about $l5 more than she had
originally. She goes over the list sev-
eral times and checks it carefully, but
all the items are correct, and she is lust
about in despair, when her good angel
mats these may be n possible mistake
IL the adiltlO' Actius upon the Sug
gestion, she fUots up the rolu m, aud
finds that the total is 2S, and that
according TO the prime pes OF the aritl-
lnetic she ought TO have S. G5. Then
size counts her cash several times, the
result varying from 81. 40 up 20 $40
but then she happily discovered that
she had been mistaking So gold p;ec.
for cent, AMI RENDERING that she gave
the baby a trade dollarto cut lis gums
with. On the whole, she has come
within so cents OF balance. and that
she says is close enough, anil she enters
in one line Of the account book:
"Dr by household expenses" so
much, ld is very happy till she re-
membered, just before going TO bed,
that she has omivted $50 FOR ler nus
bands hat.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1883-01-11
A NATURAL INQUIRY.

An eminent lawyer undertakes the
defence of miserable and detected
looking man accused of stealing "A coat.
He cross-examined the prosecuting
witness and involves him i'm mum erous
contradictions, tears in p eces tn films Y
sophistries of the opposing council,
and winds up with an eloquent pero,a-
ton that the jury bring in a verdict
of Not guilty" without leaving the
box, amid n perfect Virgins tornado
OF applause The rehabilitate prisoner
cast himself into the arms of his defen-
ders bursts into tears and sobs:
my preserver! My preserverl"
That's all right, my good fellowr'
says the advocate, patting him OH the
shoulder, inoceace has been attcs-
ted 10y jury of your peers, and hence.
forth you can walk abroad holding
your head high n.tlIe consciousness OF
your integrity"
And can wear the coat now!"
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1883-01-11
FOR POLITICIANS ONLY

number OF politicians, all of whom
were seeking office under the Govern
ment, were under a tavern porch, with
an old topper named Joel --, per-
son who was loquacious when corned,
but exactly opposite when sober, said
that he would cell them story.
They told him to fire. whereupon
he spoke as follows;
"A certain king-I don't recollect his
naine-had Il philosopher upon whose
Judgment ha always depended. Now
it happened one day that the king took
it into his lead TO go hunting, and
summoned his mobiles, and making the
necessary preparations, he summoned
the philosopher and asked him if it
would rain. The philosopher told him
it would not, and they started Whi.e
journeying they met u countr! man
mounted on u jackass.
He advised them to return for, said
he, it will certainly lain. They smiled
contemptuously upon him and passed
on. Before they had gone many miles
they had reason to rsgret not having
taken the rustic's advice, as a shower
coming up drenched them TO the
skin. When they had returned TO the
palace the king reprimanded the phil
osopher severely.
met a countryman, said he, and he
knew more than you do lie told ne
that il would rain, whereas you told NE
it would not. The king then gave him
his walking papers and sent for the
countryman, who soon made his APP
pearance.
Tell me how you knew il woa!d rain
said the king.
Il din't know. said the countryman.
my iac@ass told me 20.
And how pray, did he tell 5ou.'
asked the king
by pricking up his ears, your maj
esty," said the rustic.
The king then sent the rustic away,
and procuring the iackass of him, he
placed him, the jackass, in the Office
the philosopher filed.
"And here, observed Joel looking
very wise, lis where the king made a
great mistake.
How sof inquired the auditors.
''Why. ever since that time" said
Joel with a grin on his phiz, ''every
iackass wants Office"
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1883-01-11
THE SENATORSHIP.

Tie peculiar condition of political
matters i'll the State places the un-
pledged members of the Legislature in
an attitude that is liable TO be misun-
derstood by those who do not give the
situation particular attention. The
charges of federal interference in the
recent election have been doubted by
many Of the supporters OF Mr.. Ferry,
who went TO Lansing last week to urge
upon the members his nomination. but
when they found over hundred OF
these same federal offlce-holders in the
city with no other bus ness but the
support of his claims, and found furth-
er that every part OF the tactics charg-
ed by his opponents to have been uso d
in his favor was there being used, they
were obliged 70 admit the truth OF the
charges, and very many who have / O
personal objection to Senator Fesry,
and give no credence 10 the slurs or
inUendoes against his personal charac-
ter, now feel it an absolute duty to the
people and tie party TO oppose his re-
election, not in favor of any man, but
in favor of areform, at least far enough
to show that the voters of Michigan
shall attend 10 their own political ac-
tion without dictation, or without the
Influence Of federal patronage O;
,poilS.
The members who refused to enter
The caucus, forced by Mr.. Ferry and
lis hcnchncn, are not boilers in any
sense of the word. They did not ask
any advantage. They were willing to
grant to him all that they demanded
for themselves, and will unaintain their
position, fully supported b. the peo-
pie and the party. The result will b,
hailed with glalness 10y the honest
men of the party, as it will be n tri
unph of the majority over machine
work in every direction, triumph O.
right methods over wrong Tie Office
will seek The man and not the man the
office, and the gentleman who may be
selected Will represent the State and
not the interest Of the barnaces who
desire continuance in places for pay.
These members are not influenced by
fear of the party lash, or favor OF any
so'called party managers. Their coun
ellis are marked by calm consideration
of the grave questions involved. Can
didates are discussed as to their fitness
for the place, instead of the manner
in which they might distribute THEN
patronage. None of them are seeker,
after place for themselves or friends,
and seek only 20 obey the will OF theil
constituency, from whom, during the
last week, they have received the
strongest encouragement for THEN
course
While they oppose the election oi
Senator Ferry, they denounce will
equal earnestness the tactics of that
class of the opposition who resort to
similar machine tactics on the Other
side and who will receive at theil
hands the same political ostracism.
They say return TO the pure princi
pies of the party is demanded by the
people, and the demand will be fully
granted.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1883-01-11
SAVED HIS LIFE.

In stairway on Woodward avenue
Monday sat n man aho looked the pie
ture of sadness, and every now and
then he pulled out n red handkerchief
with many holes and rents in it, and
wiped tears from his eyes. BY and by
pedestrian halted and asked:
Say, strlnger, what ails you
con, dunno. guess feel sad ''
You shouldn't feel bad on Eow
Years Day It's the day on witch to
brace up aud swear OF. >
"fhat's just ;he point" replied the
Iuan, as he brought out the handker-
chief 81 haven't anything to swear
off from.
Don't you drink
Not "A drop"
Nor smoke, nor chewl'
Neither one; nor do swear, gam
ole, bet nor lie"
"Well you must be pretty good man :
"Oh am am. I'm too good
The rest of you can resolve to-day
not to rob or steal again You can
swear Off on whisky aud tobacco and
lay plans for economy, but I've got 20
plod right along in the old track
Cant You think OF one single poirt
for r. formation
'l1ot point not % one I've
here for G waoie hour trying to "a.
one single weakness, kut / can't &c
Stranger, it makes ms sad, and yot
must excuse these tears. When / re-
alize that am so ALFRED good | am
half inclined to commit suicide"
'I'll tell you plot, old man"
'Will your Thanks thanks what is
itg"
why don't you resolve to get your
hair cut. wash your face, clean out
your nails, and put on "a clean shirt r.
why don't ~ will Thank Hea-
ven. there is a show for me after all /!
I'm Dc, O.. 30. a. th' lght | was
Yes, 81, 4 a 30 it. hia l." With .Ae
You have probably saved my life
aud my gratitude is unbosnded."
And then he cried some mere, but
they were tears Of joy.