Connecticut western news., 1883-02-21

| And she istlessly stood by the side of his chair,
 With expressionless face and perfunctory | mien.
 An me that souls should grow hard and chill {! | (Bro'cn bread, tish-bdu, pork and bean!D That erstwhile joys should e'er to thrill That duty and custom from rapture wean! | Winsome and young was the damosel, l (Bro,on bread, J6sh-boH, pork aud bednO
 But the pulse on her heart lay as asphodel,
 And the salt cod had murdered her hfe's serene.
 'sir Knight" she murmured, "what ist you | wish?"
 (Bro,on bread 6sh-baH, pork and bednO
 ''Fair ladye, I'll feast on the Sabbath dish; | And see that the meat be not too lean.
 Bring me, also, good store of the hatulent | fruit" (Bro,on bread, .fsh-bdU, pork and bedn!) ''With speed my behest see ysu execute, | Or in anguish of famine I'll perish, I ween." 'I should smile," thus the maid, with weary sigh.
 (Bro,on bread, .fish-bau, pork and bedn!) l ''But for hollow eons, with mirth have | No commune held on this drear terrene "Of the fatulent fruit is depleted our store ;'
 (Bro,cn bread, fsh-bau, pork and beanO "And of fat or lean we have left no more But hie you to Smiths, where all three you may glean." Boston Sdt Eue Gazette. AN UNFORTUNATE DUELIsT. A French landed proprietor and a colonel of dragons had deadly quarrel; blood only could wash out the insults that had passed between them. Both men were eccentric to 8 degree, and they agreed that lots should be drawn, and ] that the loser should at once proceed to some retired spot and shoot himself The next morning the opponents and their seconds met at small cafe outside the town. Lots were duly drawn, the landed proprietor proving the winner. The colonel took his bad fortune calmly; he wrote few lines on piece of paper which he handed to his second, took m affectionate farewell of all, and forgave | his more fortunate adversary, as a Christian gentleman ought to do. He then, accepting the loaded pistol, moved steadily into an adjoining room and closed the door. The others remained breathlessly awaiting the detonation which was to convey to them the finale of the tragedy. At last it came eagerly they ran to the door of the fatal cham Der, when it was thrown open, and the 1 supposed defunct stood on the threshold, grasping the smoking weapon. Heav- ems, gentlemen" exclaimed he, with a bland smile, "is it not unfortunate? have missed myself !'-QuaS. THAT'S WHAT HE WANTED. A man who had been purchasing a horse and cutter was yesterday speeding the animal up and down Park street, Detroit, the Free Press tells us, when policeman said to him: "That's four times you have been racing up and down"
 "Yes, just four" l "And you want to quit, or you'll get into trouble"
 l "How?"
 l " III complain O1 you.
 "What for?"
 "Fast driving"
 "At what rate will you swear that was driving?"
 "At least eight miles an hour."
 "Will you, honest Injun? Will you say at eight?"
 "I will, and the Recorder will fine you three dollars"
 "Say," said the man as he pulled out 8 $5 bill and extended it, "take this and do me favor. Make complaint that l
 was driving at least eight miles an hour.
 and have me fined for it. I bought this. old beast for four mile-an-hour horse,
 and if it gets around among the boys that
 he can step at the rate of eight can
 sell him for $25 in cash and a second
 hand overcoat Go and enter complaint
 to-day. so that it will be mentioned in
 the morning papers, and don't forget to
 say eight miles an hour-eight miles on
 your solemn affidavy!'
 AN EDITORS HARD LUCK.
 Some editors seem never to have any
 sort of luck. An exchange relates that
 country editor, who accepted gross of cough syrup in pay for apatent medicine i advertisement, undertook to catch cold
 in order to put the syrup where 1t would
 do the most good. He went out on the
 frosty ground in his bare feet, got Tn heavy precipitation and then sat in cold draught, rode in the cars at night with
 the window raised-hut without avail; !, and now he's discouraged, because he
 doesn't know how to utilize his medl- cine.-CSncinnat Commercial Gazette HIS SHARE GONE. cit may be bad news to you since you have invited me to 'smile,'" said MT. e "Bob" Burdette, the humorist, to e Pittsburg Post reporter the other day, f ':that have become total abstainer. Il # reduced the matter to figures and found ], out that to each man is allotted one bar l, rel of whisky; and by close calculation I s discovered that had drank barrel and e half. In other words, I had drank my l. own and half of some other mans barrel. y I am too honest to rob anybody, especial e ly of the whisky we get nowadays, and
 therefore have quit drinking whisky en- tirely."
 o LUMBER FROM STRAw.-Lumber IS n now being manufactured from straw, the