National Republican., 1883-09-06
'meruile Journal.

The answer was terse aud brief
'The lady's kleptomaniac,
The one in rags thief"
-SonerUiie Journal
COURTNEY is Of opinion that Noah sawed
his Grk.-New Orleans Ptcayune
EXAMINE the outside shell Of brides irst
pie If you would see hard case, says the Bis
marck Tribune
THE New Jersey apple crop Is failure
ana the future scarcity Of apple jack fills the New
Jersey heart with dire dismay.
JOHN KELLY passes the plate in church,
but the congregation watch him closely enough 70
prevent accidents. Bismarck Tribune.
IT was gratifying tribute that Mile. Aimee
paid to our national pride upon her arrival, when
she said she glad to be shore again, because
she could got fresh milk for her dog.
Mr.. JEFrERsoN's sister Cornelia, favorite
In old times but long since retired from the stage,
will reappear this season in her brothers COM
pany playing Tilly slowboy in "Tho Cricket on
the Hearth"
CINCINNATI newsboy has made $4,000
in thirteen years selling tho newspapers of that
city. "What a remarkable amount of mud he
has shOyeled into the hands Of the public" ex-
claims the envious Louisville oourter.Jourrd!.
A CH1NAMAN at Santa Ana CAL, dropped
forty-hve pound watermelon on the side
walk, and the Standard, in recording the
catastrophe, says It never before heard the Eng
lish Language so elegantly and forcbly expressed
by Chinaman.
"WHY do you mutter that way when you
readT' asked a man of All old negro whosat mum
bling over newspaper. "IIow ought 1 read.
sahr' "Why, read without moving your lips"
"What good would dat sorter readin do me, fur
couldn't heah IL? When l reads wanster read 10
1 klu heah what Use readin' 'bout--Arkansaw
| 7raveier.
YOUNG George Vanderbilt, fourth son Of the
| millionaire, wants to he u newspaper reporter.
! There 1t crops out again; the natural, educated
and hereditary greed for gold the Unsuitable thirst
| (, wealth. the passion for amassing millions by
! rue easiest and quickest methods, and reaching q
fabulous competence by the shortest ways. lisa
family trait Burlington Hawkeye,
| SEE here" said the star to the manager,
'If you are going to have bouquets handed to me
every night, why don't you get decent ones
Look al this to-nigbts; it's all wilted. Why can't
/ always have as good bouquet as had last
nishtT' "As good bouquet as you had last
night?" shrleked the manager, "why, holy sun
| flower, It's the same one l"-LotUeN Citizen.
THE Newport correspondent Of the Boston
Transcript tells and says she believes this story
"a circular has been sent to very many clsrgy-
men by New York wine firm, setting forth the
merits of its liquors and wines with prices by the
case, &c. At the end Of the circular IL reads:
N. B.-To avoid suspicion every case sent you
will be plainly marked Canned Peaches"
THE practical joker of the Boston Post sug-
gests this mean scheme: " If you wish to make q
man perfectly miserable send him an important
message by telephone. Tell him to be sure to
meet you alta hotel at a certain hour, say. But
when he asks you who you are don't understand
him and don't give him your name. He'll fret Off
pound of flesh an hour trying to make out who
1t is that has telephoned him."
THERE was once little boy to whom q
piece Of plum cake was held out by q good man.
'1f you will wash your hands, little boy" said the
good man, ~ will let you take the cake" ''You
be blowed," the little boy said; "there is q
string tied to It," Now how could the little boy
know that there was string before he washed
his hands and reached for the cake? Perhaps he
was very smart little boy But he never ate the
cake.-S. Joseph Nel0s
IT is said that American girls who go
abroad to study at German pensions are always
subjected by their schoolmates there TO q cate
chsm In regard 10 their position IN America II
their father is only "kaufmanu," that is "a mer-
chant who stands behind his counter and sells
goods, the daughter belongs to the second class in
society; but If he is "gross kaufmann," q
wholesale merchant, then she is received into the
, |
ciate with the impeounious countesses and
bRronesses In which hatsociety abounds. Where
this social test becomes generally understood we
can imagine that the fathers of all American gr q
In German pensions will prove 10 be the daughters
Of wholesale merchants enly
Mr.. JULIAN HAWTHORNE lives in Nor
risania. says New York letter writer He and
his wife are seldom seen In town. Sometimes
meet him at New York publishers or at book
Ia AA11 l.a..
prime of his life and the pletude of his intellect
ual powers. He is tall and well built, and wears
his dark hair brushed away from broad brow
: and o moustache well disposed over o reso
, Lutte mouth. He shows his appreciation OF ar
. snecdote or an epigram moro with his eyes
: = which laugh, than by open vowels and convulsed
: visage. On the other hand his reserve is becom
ing and not repellant, and when he likes he can
keep round table well amused without any one
Of the company noticing that his host is probably
doing less talk than himself
Z. VIRTUE is its own reward, and sometime.
. Is its only reward. The Boston Herald tells of
y young man who was sent to the house of oorrec
ton by the courts Of Suffolk county In 1879 fol
Q three years. He got out and hunted for employ
4 inent. He found situation whore he hoped tC
work until he found occupation at his trade, bu
one day detective saw him and told the en-
ployer what the young mans history was. M
would have been. He WAS at once discharged Rnt
il now idle from necessity. His wife works for
= pittance. This is "business," perhaps. II Ger
tainy is not Christian charity. II certainly is di
d rect encouragement 10 80 and sin some moro. I
IL hard to proaoh courage" In such case, bu
n the young man must keep on trying
. IN this country and in England the theor!
is that children thrive best whom left entire nee
IS dom of limb. Even the tight bandagss worn b.
!, infants a few years ago are done ava,
with in the light of increased knowledge
e The roller which was supposed To hav
y been the indispensable support OF the lit,l
o back Is dispensed with, and we natter our
h selves that we know exactly what Is the bet
thing for the development Of the future man. Ys
i the Germans still swaddle their children. and III
!, scandanavians do II 10 excess The peasant
4 especially, who are q fine race of men ana womer
- insist upon bandhging their children with al
inch bandages, which are passed tightly over th
body keeping the arms and legs perfectly straigt
. and immovable No pillow isallowed. asisthe cas-
ft with the German child the baby Is simply role
Dr as tightly as possible in the coarse linen bandaEe
20 until It looks more like well packed saddleba
70 than anything else Ift isin the way is Quietl
VI hung up against the wall, and general testimon
is given that tho babies are much quieter than ou
RS babies, They are too tightly bandaged to CT
t. much: probably they become numbed after