The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1883-12-21
VOL. XXVIII----NO. SO. A
VARIETIES.

Why are seeds, when sown, like gate.
posts? They are planted in the earth to
propagate.
"A man has invented chair that can be
adjusted to hundred different positions. 1t
Is designed for a boy 10 sit in when he goes
to church.
Some shoemakers get on their uppers, or
high heels, and go out on strikes Others
keep pegging away. Those who stick are
bound to last.
MIR. Smith" said lady at fair won't
you please buy this bouquet to present to the
lady you love" at would not be right"
replied Mr.. Smith; 81 am married man.,
The following is curious definition ola
dentist-"A dentist, love- makes teeth of
bone for those whom fate has left without.
and finds provision for his own by pulling
other peoples out"
Now is the festive time when woman
delights to dig up her ten cent geraniums
and carry them into the house, where she
will cheerfully waste a ton of coal in keeping
them warm during the winter
"A bright girl, born and raised in Virgil
MIA saw church covered with vines, and re-
marked: That's what l used to be-
whats that y inquired her obtuse escort
GA Virginia creeper, of course"
Are you going to follow the suggestions
OF the railway officials and adopt the mean
tlme?" asked the matchmaker of Mr.. Stub
bins. MEAN time? No, indeed NV
watch keeps mean time enough now"
Jesse Ace, the keeper of Mumbles Light
house on the coast of Wales, saved the lives
of two seamen during the gale of January
". The Queen has sent for the heroine's
photograph. The Queen, you will observe,
takes the Ace in this instance.
-Fitznoodle, sorely distressed: Eyes" re.
marked Fitznoodle, 81 used to take my dog
out when l started on promenade, but |
don't do it now. 1t wasn't pleasant, YOU
know, to have people inquire which was
Fitznoodle and which was the dog"
Six lovely school ma'ams were out row
ing on the placid Susquehanna one evening.
bold, wicked man on the shore, who was
bad boy few years ago instead of taking
Oft his hat as the boat went by, simply re.
marked, Behold the whaling fleet"
-"Sir, one word" said soldier one day
to Frederick the Great, when presenting to
him request for the brevet of lieutenant. IF
you say two" answered the king II will
have You hanged" "Sign," replied the SOL
dier. The King started, whistled, and sign
ed.
$50 you are back in the city again ?" said
one laboring man to another; Thought YOU
found employment in the country ?" 80
did, but you see the old farmer went to work
and strung the whole farm all over with barb
ed wire fences, and so quit and came home
There is time to work and time to rest,
but you can't rest on barbed wire fence"
Two young married French ladies were
talking about their husbands. Said one of
them: "Do you really think your Jules went
shooting yesterday" "Well | don't think
he tried to deceive me yesterday but | am
inclined to think he went" "But he didn't
bring back any game?" "That's what makes
me feel sure he did go" was the wife's reply.
Among the revels of the Christmas sea-
son were the so-called feasts of fools and of
asses, grotesque saturnaia, which were some
times termed December liberties" in which
every thing serious was burlesaued, interiors
personifying their superiors, great men becom
ing frolicsome, and which Illustrate the prone
ness of men to occasionally reverse the order
OF society and ridicule its decencies
1t is an old Swedish tradition, preserved
in the history of CLAUS, Archbishop of Up
sal, that at the festival of Christmas the men
living in the cold northern parts are sudden
ly and strangely metamorphosed into wolves;
and that huge multitude of them meet
together at an appointed place during the
night, and rage so tiercely against mankind
and other creatures, not fierce by nature, that
the inhabitants of that country suffer more
from their attacks than ever they do from
natural wolves.