davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06
1t is rubbed on the head until the IL
quid evaporates. No subsequent rins
ing Is nee ssary.
Irrcsss.lb.g LudcYgus,

One of those things happened at the
National Theatre the other hight which
most papers are rctOOtiignified 10 mention
but which every hniy likes Ia talk about
IL was d ring The last act Il .'AitAhei
and Son. and Janauschek, with one
other person. was holding the stage. II
was situation Of soma suspense. and
the house was perfectly still. Their.
was pause, too, in the dialogue. se
that on the stage Also there happened tc
be cor plete stiffness.
just at that moment 4 man In the par
quette blew his nose.. II was not VIC.
lent, savage blast, hat \ long, sonorous
luxurious blow. such as the horns that
marched around Jericho might havt
given on the sevedth round, 10 the 80.
rene confidence that the walls wOuld
come down promptly. The effect wsi
irresistibly lutlicrons. The audience,
In their respect for the actors and thcil
interest in the play. struggled bravei,
70 preserve coed deneanur, but II wal
Lo use. a wave VI half-supprcsseo
laughter ran over the house, and mnnj
who ssscceeied IN keeping si!eAcs fairly
shook.
On the stags tho sifuaflon wAs stiI.
worse. Eyen Janauscis0k' = TRAGIC gray.
ity was disturbed. Her face twitcfed
aaxla ard agaiu Ii tAe effort y co1arsI
herselE. md shs wAe glad ~ - ~
handkerchief she hAd II Mr. hard 4
Cover her cO1fusi0a HuE : Ipoznsnt 4
lo0ked.as e - eInolfOnak se1sa W0uls
b diaOlred u br0oxl l1aRht ~ m
s.txstss - s>rs&3s ~ - tf.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06
He Wants 70 Know, You Know,

Jacob Frish, of the Third Ohio Caval.
~. applied for pension, his claim be-
ing that he had hand-to-hand fight
with his sabre for five miles on the 81
Of July, 1868, during which he was Sc
verelv hacked. also shot in the leg. The
application fell into the hands Of very
critical examiner. who returned Il with
the following Endorsements: .rhe claim
ant is required to state under oath,
what caused him TO get into fight with
US sabre; what kind of sabre was It
he got into fight with; how he hap
rened to have n hand-to-hand fight with
:: whether it had hands; whether there
were any witnesses present during the
fight; how he managed to get shot while
fighting with bis sabre; whether it was
shooting sabre; whether he believes
the sabre shot him; whether it shot any
body else; whether he shot it; how ma
ny shots were fired; who fired the first
shot; whether the soldier was in the
habit OF fighting his sabre; how long .
time he fought it. and whether he had
ever fought any other sabre. It should
be shown by competent testimony
whether the soldier shot the SATIRE OF
the sabre shot the soldier"
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06
Outrage on a Oolored Clergyman.

Rev. Melancthon Fish, colorei di.
vine, received cal from a colorcd con-
gregation, provided he gave satisfaction.
Last Sunday he preached his trial SER
mon. After il was over he walked
home with Uncle Nose, who is celebrat4
ed for being the most candid old negro
IN Austin.
''Dat ar' congregation" said the Rev.
erend Fish, patronizingly, .'am com.
posed Of de finest looking body of men
ebber saw"
''Ef dat am your candid 'pinion. you
should ncbber have called 'em belubbed
brederen, remarked Nose, quietly.
"Why not, Uncle Mosc?'
''Bccase you don't look like you be-
lougcd to de family. You ain't fine
enough looking to be more den forty
second cousin, much less brudder.
There now exists polar wave. or a
glacial period. between Uncle Nose and
the new pas r, and there is some talk Of
hostile meeting. 7eras Sitlings.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06
Fruit Tree Culture.

I. Instead OF "trimning" up trees
according to the old fashion. to make
them long-legged and longarmed. trim
them down, SO as to make them even,
snug and symmetrical.
=. Instead Of manuring heavily In .
small circle ut the foot u the tree,
spread the manure, il needed at all,
broadcast over the whole surface. espe.
cially where the ends Of the roots can
get It.
5. Instead Of spading . small circle
about the stem, cultivate the whole sur
face broadcast.
4. Prefer we'll pulverized, clean sur
face in an orchard. with moderately
rich soil, To heavy manuring and sur
face covered with . hard crust and
weeds and grass.
8. Remember that it is better to set
out ten trees with all the necessary care
10 make them live and flourish, than to
set out o hundred trees and have them
oil die from carelessness.
s. Remember that tobacco is q poi
son, and will kill insects rapidly II pro
perly applied 10 them. and is one Of the
best drugs for freeing fruit trees rapidly
Of small vermin.
Z. Finally, do not neglect to set out
as mAny fruit trees Of different varieties
as ron possibly can. 1t will pay. u
you hsye but smxll farm put vit ths
fewer trees, but put ont ns many - you
can lind sp,sce for. Larger farm, moro
trees. Fruit evaporators are COMPARE
lively Inexpensive, they ire very easily
op0fnfad. and nrODerly dried fruit n ~
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06
COUNTY DAKOTA WEDNESDAY JUNE g. 1888

Said Fogg to Mrs. Smita, II am very
sorry to mention it. but know tia. vol,
do not approve Of suc! ceaaact on the
part af your son Cnarles. y "Niercy!
Mr.. Foggs. what is ii lie has been do
ingp' ''Oh, nothing SO very bad,
ma am, only novel-rca.ling on Snndas. :"
..Why. Charley!" exclaimed Mrs.
Smith. Perhaps you wonld like TO see
what have hten reading" said Char
ley, handing his book to his mother
"Humph!" calculated Mrs. Smith. Il
knew ne wouldn't. Charley has been
read'ng the Bible, Mr.. Fogg." she
added in triumphant tone. And
wasn't that novel rea.ling for himg" re-
torted the wretcbe man.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06

n see that your son is out Of the Pen.
ncntiary." said man 10 an acqnaint.
ance. "Yes; we proved that insanity
was the cause Of his killing the fellow.
and they turned him out on probation"
SLOWS thatP' "They said that they'd
let him stay out day or two. and ii he
acted like crazy man they'd let him
stay out permanently. Well. ne acted
like he was insane, and / reckon he II
stay out" "How did he act like he
was insane" ''By killing another
~
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06
Tie Andes Hinkins.

The Andes are sinking. Quito waa
f.mnd by La Condamine in l745 to be
a,5.6 feet above the sea; Humboldt In
1858 could only make 9.67O of Ii; Of
twcnty-sfx hess; Bostssinyxnit III 1851
was surprised to find the measurement
show only 9.j67 feet; Orton in 1867
founi 1t reduced to $500 feet; and ROuss
and Slubel ascertained, as late ~ 1870.
that it had actually shrunk to 1856 feet
Quito, it seems, had shrunk 2a6 feet in
l25 years. and Pichin:ha 2l8 feet in the
same period. The remarkable fact ap.
pears. from definite determinations, thai
its crater has sunk no less than 425 fec,
during the last twenty-six years. and An.
tsana l65 feet in sixty-tour years.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06

Orange wine. manufactured ut St.
Augustine, Fla, is now being shipped
North in large quantities, and com.
mands .remunerative figures
At tn. end Of the revolutionary Wa,
there were ohly forty-three newspapers
published in this country.
CURIOUS GAMBLI ING SCENES
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06

Wiggins has another yraat s!afIR ssl
for Octobe-, 1898. Nv sstliRx tl,a data
SO far ahead he can build on that st9rll
extensively and lell = s6od maAy q
manacS.
Extract from femais physsstAC 4 go
tl6cate. filed a she ofIlce VI the H0ef0q
board of health, On the death Qf q fifl
beby: s.Age 8 minutes; c9p9o r dGahs
: lsng tsrn q e!cknes =
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06
old Him Whers.

The iuatter's spirit. A deputy
United ;, .,Ucs marshal, hunting for liz
tie distiilcrs, stopped at mountain
road blacksmith shop in Arkansas. The
blacksmith appeared in the doorway,
and the deputy marshal, as ID was
neither morning nor evening, but know.
ing the dirrctness o6 expression require
ed by the natives, ssid:
Good day, sir."
.'GOM bye" replied the blacksmith.
II don't mean good bye, ! mean how
are your"
..iiow am | shout whsts''
Things In general. !"
''Tm willing"
"Willing for whaty' asked the deputy
marshal.
ITO take drink"
''Sav, want to go TO Jones Point :"
'Why don't yon 20, thcne''
''l5ecuus. want information.
''What Information do you wantr'
''That's all right. I'd give e6 to
know exactly wherc ! am" and he
hooked around nuxiOusly. .'Wcll,
here" said the blacksmith. III you
won't tell ANYBODY that | told you I'll
tell you.'
II won't tell anybody"
''If them whisky makers come around
with guns you won't lot 'em know that
ktold you9''
'.No. swear I won't"
elm sOrter feared. Ride up closer
= the tiuor. II Pete Smith or Nath
Moore wantcr know whar you got your
Information you won't tell sem, yOu
savp" and the blacksmith looked around
anxiously, moved nneasily and looked
toward the woods.
"And you'll give me i've dollars %
tell YOU exactly what you arep"
yes"
Une Of the great Gins for which West
Springfield. Mass, IL famous, was rs.
Gently voted unsafe In March winds and
cut down. Il took two good cisOppsr1
two days to fell the tree and il yieIde1
tan cords Of wood when cut up.
4 AA.-at kis.
4 party OF three yonng men from the
agricultural districts entered second
hand clothing store on MiclligatI avenue
Yesterday morning, and one Ut them
finally bought = secontlhmnl coat. He
was sOiemnly assured that Il was III
that Shakespeare would have been proud
Of, and that Il increased his bcauty 2O0
per cent, and he went away perfcctly
satisfied. In about an hour, however,
he returned and said.
'.Say, this coat isn't i At, after I'll. !"
What ails dot goat now, ehr'
"Well, it's too short in the back, fOr
one thing.
Ms frendt who tells you svI''
A'Both the boys"
"And vhas dose poys tailorss"
..No."
from Paris?"
mo-"
.Yhell, how ish it doso poys know "
much? Dot goat allows for y0n to sthan,
cop und bend oafer. II allows for youa'
bsck to shorten o0p or lehgthen oidt.
But the sleeves ntc too short. "
"llet me sec. Only last night my wife
cit up all night q cut on dose sleeve,
und make m In style, und now yot:
vhant sleeve like Noah wore IN del
Ark! Vhell, nopndy would think dot of
you. !"
4 can't hardly bend my arms, 7 con
tinued the buyer.
svhell. sold you dot soat fur sun
day. Yondoan' chop wood o. Ssedays.
I hopcs When yaa desire - bsnd y0ul
arms put on some osidsy goat. =
Nm mot at all satisfied with IL M
nsstter what y0u ~. Y
''vhesI. ! cant help dot After yor
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06

The United States leads the world 10
Its number of cattle. having So, 600, 900.
to Russias 29.0U0.OoO and India's So
100000. But Russia has 2O.OOO. 600
horses, and the Cn'ted States comes
seC0nd with 10.500.O0o.
Keeping The Head Clean
The Druggists Circular gives the fol
towing recipe for the ''dry shampoo"
and considerably used by BARRIERS, nov
generally known as ''sea foam:''
A.cohoL. L......................... ......e otfnces
waur..:................. $3.50. ....l0 ounces
Ammonsa.......... ......................l ounce.
LOsONuc ..... ounce.
1t Is rubbed on the head until the IL
quid evaporates. No subsequent rins
ing Il nee ssary.
A distinguished physician. who had
spent much time at quarantine, said
that person whose head was thorough.
ly washed every day rarely took con-
tagi0us diseases; but where the hair wac
allowed to become dirty and matted, Il
was hardly possible To escape infection.
Many perscns find speedy relief for ner-
v0us headache by washing the hair
thoroughly in weak soda water. have
known severe cases almost y holly cured
in ten minutes by this simple remctiy.
A friend finds 1t the greatest relief In
cases Of ..rare cold" the cold symptoms
entirely leaving the eyes and nose and
after one thorough washing Of the hair
The head shonid be thoroughly dried
sftstwaId. aud not exposed to dsaughss
of sir fN . littlu while.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06
Disappearance Of the Yankee.

The report OF the New Hampshire
board Of health contains tabulated
summary of the reports of the officers
OF cities and towns, showing the number
OF births, marriages. and deaths in each
township in 1881. From this it appears
that 4.6l5 babies were born in the state
that wear, 2,4l5 being boys, 2,123 girls.
and 7S mot stated. OF these 2,74A
were of American parentage, 633 were
children of foreigners. $50 were of mixed
ancestry. the fruit of marriages between
Americans and foreigners. and 5f2 were
classed as unknown. 1t should he sta
ted in this connection that all persons
born in this country are returned as
Americans, though their parents may
have come from abroad immediately be-
fore their entry into this world. Bear
ing this in mind, and the further fact
that those children reported as Gun
known are probably in most instances,
the children of foreigners, and it seems
fair to conclude that not more than half
the babies included in the list can prop
erly be called yankees; and we sup
pose, if the facts could be known, it
would appear that not one in four can
trace his descent back more than two
or thrse generations without crossing
the ocean or the Canadian line. Four
thousand six hundred and fifty persons
died in the state in 1881 and of these
S,542 were Americans. 440 were foreign
ers, and 502 were of unknown origin.
From this it appears that there was an
actual loss of 800 in the American pop
ulation of the state from the excess OF
deaths over births. II we consider in
connection with this the steady streams
of emigration which carry our Yankees
south and fill their places with Cana
dians and Irishmen, the conclusion is
forced upon us that the year is not far
away when the race that settled New
Hampshire and has furnished the brain
and Drawn that have made the little
commonwealth famous, will have be-
come practically extinct in this state
MUycbes esfer nv HN N;rror
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06

LieCtTlCiauS ulcttSuTc clectriCIl Qu1u.
titles by '.ohms." Can this be the rea-
son that whenever the lightning scares
a woman she invariably shrieks, ''Ohm
my!-Pitst"rgh Telegraph.
"Ah." said the organ-grinder to HIM
self as he turned the awful crank Of that
unn. .elodious instrument and heard the
pennies drop ON the pavement, 'If
hadn't studied music when was young
might now be common bcggar."
A NODFRN CIN NDERELLA.
Not that she was SO scandalously i'll
used as the poor little heroine Of the
fairy tale that has delighted so many
generations in their childhood, but the
circumstances were not diss!milar, as
YOU will see.
Violet Efiucham had lived a very
happy, unfe,tered life with her widowed
father. the working partner of n pros
porous firm in Birchin Lane, till she was
twelve years old, when Mr. bingham
took to himself second wife, partls
with .,.e idea that it would be better
for his motherless girl to have someone
who could better supply her lost pa
rents place than he, with his time SO
busily employed. could do; partly--it is
to be feared that he was fascinated BIZ
the full-blown charms Of the widow
whom he selected for that purpose, and
whose earliest exercise of her delegate
authority was to find out an eligible es-
tablishment for young ladies at Wimble-
don, to which, despite her tears, Violet
was forthwith sent.
She had been there little over four
years, tolcrably contented with her life,
after all. and always returning cheer
fully enough after her holidays; but on
one such occasion she discovered that
her stepmother, had issued invitations
for fancy dress ball, and actually
wanted to pack her off to school again
three days before the time on that ac-
| count.
1t need hardly be said that to be pres
ent at the ball was Violet's most ardent
| wish, and had her father been at home
| there IL no doubt that small amount Of
| coaxiny on her part would have assured
the consummation of her desire; but
unfortunately Mr.. Eflingham was alb
sent on business in the South of France,
and. plead as she would, her stepmoth.
er was inexorable.
Not indeed that that lady was SO re-
i ,,.nrscless a tyrant as the grim baroness
Of the fairy tale, but like her she was the
| mother OF ..,so grown up daughters. 80
much grown up .:.deed, that they felt II
was i, ri time they hal homes Of their
own, and like the wicked sict sisters Of
| Cinderella tl,Ought it would be quite at
well to keep poor Violet In the back
ground az long ~ possible. Vt any rate
until they were settled.
4 Hine Hi0 t.scrym0 that followed from
Violet pretty f,ius eyes AZ abe in vain
protested against her sfcpmother's do,
gree, \.
II am turned sixtccny she cried.
..asd was put Into long dresses lag!
maath, and ! am sure that papa would
ist ina, II hs we're here, and will"
ala staad in the middle of the floor,
Win bsr aufry gnldsn h.ir falling owe,
/ sgsr ~ ksr eyes, her cheeks glowing milt
aiak, and heF whole personnels indic.
siiye a pe0lye ana determination y
the extreuRst dpGFses
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06

6Avfa0 beer ses aeasly three yss~s Rer~,ver =
IT, U. .. Land y nc at VsrAill II. ana becau
s1Quxtntsd Wlth the ocAt aud qua ny CT Z
orv-rnmsn, iands hrounh ~ the ier,ier, oil ~
kots, b. VII ,r - tiy auswm al e'iers er
q1irtes relative 10 tHe u anuer NJ acQ irluk htit
gos rnueut ands ON Ter the Il ths Cui
State. Atso Will attend promptly to the cance
tio!' OF Dec afstory al. zen and Home tesd
tries a,,on iapds that have b, en AbsrauE u .
prep 70 Testimony for witnF sses in ca-e Of On
p.e'f ON iioiues ~ads, cnmu,u, iom stead -,
ftes shd = emp ion ebtrl"s. Also parties dsri,
~ ,n hle as + MI tors er q tor land unfsf tn
Homssi.sd Aci cab DO 80 through hi oi.cs WiiU
eut personAl attendance u the Local Lana O4lcs
A.NU
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06

The eight year old son OF musician:
wcll known Tor his devotion to classical
music was presented with drum on
bis birthday. The eners.y with wnicn ~.
he exercised his strength upon It made q,
him tho terror Of the neighbors. un...
the general feeling was that 1t would
be great relief il somebody would bill
that boy.
~ wonder" said Q nervous old lady
one evening, after day OF extra tor
talrs, ..what ever induced sensible man
like Mr.. M to give his SON the mesna
Of making such q frightfIl noiseF'
..That's an easy one. answered hes
husband. rHe doesn't want anybody
TO forget that he il . disciple ef Wag'
ner.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06

"Have you dynamite about your per-
son?" asked the polite Custom House
official At Cork as an Irish h-American
landed from the steamer tug.
'.Begorral, I'm full of it, exclaimed
Pat brandishiny an empty whisky bot
tie. "Yez had betther kape away from
me or I'll explode"
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06

Wendell Phillips expresses the hope
n.at the day will soon come when no
man will smoke on the street. Wen
dell Phillips doesn't exhibit his usual
sagacity in entertaining such hope:
The probabilities are that the number oi
men who smoke on the street will large
" increase. Womcn's bonnets are get
ting to require SO much space that
man won't have any room to smoke al
home.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06

They were discussing after dinner the
supposed attempt made to blow up the
London Times.
"Pshaw." exclaimed the youthful heir
of the house, .'that's nothing. You
ought to hear mother blow up dad.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06

Une Of the great clms for which Wesl
Springfield. Mass, Is famous. WAS r..
Gently voted unsafe in March winds and
cut down. II took two good cfsoppsrI
two days to fell the tree and it yieIdesi
ten cords Of wood when cut up.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1883-06-06

"You are not in your usual spirits TO-
oay." observed visitor to lady. who
was famous for the perseverance, with
which she went about gathering up the
gossip of the community.
mo" she replied, II amt feeling
aslively as generally do. There hasn' I
been funeral in this neighborhood for
seyeral davs.n
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-05-16
rHE UNION cLUB ELECTION.

Though no new ticket has been proposed for
tle comm, election al the Union Cub. the names "
several mrmbcrs hayo been posted By their friends for
election at the annual meeting Among these names are
those OF III ward Cooper Mr. sheldon and Edwards
Pirrrepout Tho TWO former are retiring members
of tuc pres mt Governing Committee, ANA the posting
II their names foi reelection IS Of course stroke
al the subcommittee action given by the consrr' alive
ciuu, who want things 20 they have been IN tie
past John l.. Cadwaladors name has also been mem
toned and considerable mlu0nce was brought 10 bear
ON ham III order 10 PERSUADE him 10 allow himself I" DC
rt up iJr rc election lie " %. however. have nothing
whatever 10 do wh the matter a., Il rs said he has an
objection 10 the election being made occasion for the
d sply Of party feeling or being IN any way cout''eh
There i, no doubt that during the next
fem d,ys there viii DO much excitement and
vir.-puilng within the walls of the club
what with Colonel Klp's revolutionary resolutions
the couocastc tendency Of the subcommttee'S ticket,
and the vigorous Resistance to be made by the consery
tive faction. Oycr King the secretary OF tho club SAID
to TuBUSE reporter last night; ." can really give
YOU 10 fl n nforInaon Various III. mOcrs have been
proposed for election election by their friends ana
there will be- Of course, some opposition to the regular
ticket bur that takes place every year, and see nothing
strange about its happening this year as woN~'
Edwards Piorrcpont who was also seen,
said Yes told by membors OF the club today INIT
INV name was at cket IN opposition To That
regularly nominated That Is all khO" ABOUT u nave
been busy all day case IN the huirOgatos court or
/ should have zone around inquire about H. shall
do ~ tomorrow II nud that my name las been pro-
posed TO bring about harmony between the WarrHg
elements IN the club, shall be glad To let
milking contention shall insist upon my name being
withdrawn. For year we have had nothing but squad
iug and ono for years served as Governor,
deplOro extremely. Anything can do " promote