davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-09-13

A pretty orphan girl, with over
81, 600, 900, has been advertising in the
German papers for a husband She de
scribes herself IS 81 years old, orphan,
Catholic, with a fortune of 12,000,0 600
francs. She wants to marry a young
man with a very honorable name.
She may be addressed as n. 0. 0. N,
at the post Office, Brussels. No agents
need apply.
DR.. Pierce's pleasant Purgative Pellets are
sugar-coated and inclosed in glass bottles their
virtues being thereby preserved unimpaired for
any length of time, in any climate, so that they
are always fresh and reliable. No cheap wooden
or paste-board boxes. By druggists
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-09-13

Chapped Hands, Face, PimpIes and Rough
SKIN cured by using JUMPER TAR SOAP, m ade
by CAswELL. HAZAR RID IL Co, New York
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-09-13

Wells CROUCH on COrns.'' 15c. Ask for il.
Complete, permanent cure. C0ruS. warts, buni0ns.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-09-13
ARMY OF THE POTOMAC,

at Husband of Mine is three times the man
Is before he began usins Mells' Health Renewer.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01
A Plea for the Pig.

The result of judicious breeding and
good care is a product of wholesome
pork, fit for the most fastidious taste.
1t has been the rule to ignore the right
full position of the humble pig, and to
generally relegate him to a condition
where he becomes simply the farm
scavenger. When other stock has been
allowed to all that is nutritious in
field OF has exhausted the best contents
of corn crib, the swine are turned in
to eat up the remains, and to mingle
with this refuse, the dirt, and in many
cases germs of desease, left it by its
more fortunate fellow candidates for the
market If the farmer has anything
about his premises, which no other
class of stock will touch, because of its
repulsive character, the swine are call
ed upon and expected to regale them
selves with the unsavOry mess. Whole
droVes of swine are fed in this way for
two-thirds of every year, and just be-
fore killing time in order to present
good round bodies, and to get all the
lard possible, they are stuffed with de-
cent feed and called corn-fed hogs. The
germs of disease, however, have been
planted previous to this time, and the
unfortunate ''scavenger'' goes to the
blocK or packing houses IN some IN
stances, in a diseased condition caused
by unwholesome feed, nasty pens and
other Objectionable features which are
the result of a system of almost Grim
inal neglect.
To insure wholesome pork, cleanliness
and good wholesome food are necessary,
and the apparent carelessness on the
part of some men in preparing swine
for the markets. to say the least, highly
censurable. Pigs, from the time they
are weaned, should be afforded clean
quarters, succulent green food as well as
something more substantial, and that is
better than the refuse of an obnoxious
swill pail. The breedeISand feeder who
conducts his business upon this princi-
pie is the man who secures the best
prices, and make for himself deserved
reputation as a sensible and skil1ful
e-raiser,-P Prairie Farmer,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01
A Physicians Conclusion.

Among the papers left behind him by
a German physician, who died a few
weeks ago, is one containing notes of
certain conclusions he had arrived at
during professional experience of more
than forty years. In one of these notes
he expresses an opinion that at least
third of the illness of the patients who
sought his advice were purely imaginary.
He found it not only against his own
interest, but also against that of the
self-suppOsed sufferers, to destroy the
illusion by informing them that there
was really no cause for anxiety. Ill
health was to them a matter of almost
vital importance. To destroy the pleas
ing belief that they possessed this bles-
sing was an absolute cruelty. In the
few Instances in which he broke to them
the terrible truth that they were quite
well, he found that the result was gen
uine illness. For the patients, all interest
in life departed with their favorite occu-
patton of nursing themselves, and their
health became seriously affected by
nervous depression. He also found that,
as rule, weakly persons live longer
than strong ones. Without going so far
as to say that the best lives are those
rejected by the insurance offices, he
thought, nevertheless. that persons with
a screw loose more often attain longev-
ity than those in whom no trace of dis
ease can be detected.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01
A Curiosity in Criticism.

The curiosity of Western criticism, if
stuffed and placed under glass, ought to
draw much larger crowds of interested
sight-seers than a carload of ''OnlY liv-
ing lady skeletons and s'largest living
mammoth fat ladies'" such as are at
present attracting to the doors of pop
ular museum the elite and the hGaIt ton
of this community. AS a fair sample of
the attractions which cabinet of such
rarities would furnish may be mentioned
a recent rhapsodyin Louisville paper,
which gloWingly remarked, concerning
Miss Mary Anderson, that "the memory
of her Galatea is benison-ike babe
that opens its wide eyes for one moment
on the world and leaves it with sigh !;
like flower that breathes in fragrance
for day upon the earth of which it is
not; like grand strain of music that
floats and throbs at twilight, and sinks
away into the dim reaches of which we
dream, but in which we can not walk :;
too pure for the world, and yet leaving
behind memory, perfume, har-
mOnY, tenderer, sWeeter, more eXalt-
ing" etc., etc. A room full of such
things ought to draw. Who is there
among US who would not willingly pay
out quarter to see ''benison" that is
at once like a baby, flower, and a
grand strain of musicP And if, on the
other hand, baby like s'benison' -
could be secured, the number of old
bachelors that it would convert from
the errors of their ways would be simply
Observation-Disclosures Journal.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01


WE are often asked, by anxious pupils of
inquiring minds, questions relative to the
value of composers: "Was Handel as great
IS Beethoven" ''Was Chopin superior to
Schumann?" etc. In order that we may be
tormented nomore, and that all doubts may be
solved forevsr, we have compiled the follow
ing tables of musical values: SIX Millaras
make one Abt; ten Abts make one Schubert;
two Schaberts make one Chopin; two Cho-
pins make one Schumann; four Schumanns
make one Handel; two Handels make one
Bach; three Bachs make one Beethoven. It
viii be natural, therefore, that in future ex-
aminstlons in music schools the pupils VIII
be expected to reduce a symphony to noe
turnes, or to answer questions like the fol-
lowing: "A man went to concert to hear a
symphony. Owing to the illness of the sec
G TIG PASS prayer asuiGe was . i
what could he say at the box-of1ice about it {?
Give the answer in fractions of a sonata."-
ITlkSicdE Herald
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01
Dur watohfuI Guardian and Faithful Pro.

Our WatchfuI Guardian and Faithful Pro-
teetOr Restored to Active Duty Again.
Mr. HENRY A. WATERMAN, OF the city OF Provi-
dence 3. L, for many years the faithful and vgsnt
night watchman of the Barstow Stove COmpanys very
extensive establishment, having been confined to his
home several weeks by very distressing Illness re-
Stunning his again avas himself of this early
portunity for stating briefly a few plainfacts.
Mr.. WATERMAN, says:
"A few months ago was taken down with severe
Sickness which confined me to the house quite long
time and much time was so very lame to be
unable to walk and my left leg from the hip to the
toes, became monstrously swollen and suffered ex-
tremey from the constant intense pains produced by
so great fnhammatiOn; trying the various So
called cures all the time and under the treatment
of physician seven weeks, but getting substantial
relief Atthis time an old time friend, police officer
called upon me- and during conversation informed
me of the great benefit which he had obtained by the
use ofHunJ's Remedy and urged me to try it. as he
considered it wonderful medicine. 1 commenced
taking Hunts Remedy, having very little faith that it
would much in such a stubborn mine, but
my doubt was soon dspclled, for before had taken
one bottle began to getbeter the pains disap
peared the swollen leg gradually decreased in size, and
I was encouraged to continue the the Remedy,
and the improvement to my health continues, my
appetiteis good. have reganed my strength, and
am now performing again my duties as watchman at
the foundry. Every night go up and down stairs
more than hundred times, and am in good condi-
ton and feel that my recovery is due to Hunts Remedy
alone Ey severe sickness and terribly swollen leg was
caused by the diseased state my kidneys and think
thatitis valuable medicine that VIII speedily
fore most cheerfuIly recommend Hunts Remedy all
afflicted with kidney diseases, know it to be safe
and reliable remedy.
providence, Dec. 5, 1852. p"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01
Shooting.

In short, he is q very sensible man;
shoots flying, and has been several times
foreman of the petit jury.-SpectGtOr
When the above words were written
shooting flying was attended by dificul-
ties from which it has long since been
liberated. The heavy, single-barreled
f1int-and-steei gun, which was used by
Sir Roger de Coverley and his neighbors
was not brought up to the shoulder nor
thrown upon the object very quickly,
while 'smiss fire. was an accident to
be apprehended at least once or twice in
every half-dozen shots. What, however,
we have gained in arms of precision we
have lost, perhaps, in more essential
advantages. In the quality of their
grounds, the variety of their game, and
IN the absence of circumstances which
cause both shooting and hunting at the
present day to be pursued at times under
somewhat disagreeable conditions, our
ancestors had more than a compensa-
ton for blunt flints and damp touch
holes. But independently of these draw
backs, and regarded simply as one
branch of field sports, it is to be feared
that shooting in some respects has de-
Perforated within even the last quarter
of a century. It has certainly become
more artificial than it used to be, more
being thought of Workmanship and less
OF craftsmanship than was the case per
haps in the olden time. But still, the
love of the chase, of the art, that is in
finding, following, and killing wild
game, which our forefathers understood
by 'woodcraft,' is so deeply implanted
in the English nature, that as long as
England retains any of its sylvan char
acter we may expect to see it live and
flourish, though subject, unfortunately,
to drawbacks from which it was former
" exempt.-IEse F0rt1ziqj5tLy ReUis1U.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01
THE HORSE AND THE GOOSE.

In summer, when the grass was green
ana All the woods were gay,
morse, good-natur'd, somewhat lean,
dino on a truss of hay.
quite little dreaming of abuse,
he was accosted by goose.
Tell me, Door horse, how can you be
- Contindt % such lot?
10 daily pied the sandy sod
80 dusty and so hot;
TO dine on hay so crisp and dry,
AND never once attempt to fly?
II can spread my wings and sweep
= Ger spaces large and wide;
6Wan-lfke bathe in waters deep
Where sunbeams glance and glide,
Ihree elements proudly claim,
AND you, but one, poor horse, what shameF
The naughty goose more would have said,
NOW grown superbly vain,
When patient horse raised up his head
With look of cold disdain,
Saying: BETTER far it would appear,
If choice to me would fall,
To be perfect in one sphere
Than be a goose in ALL"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

DR.. W. D. Wright, Cincinnati, O., sends the
subjoined professional endorsement: Nj have
prescribed DIR. VIM. HALLS BALSAAI FOR THE
LUNGS in a great number of cases and always
with suceess.-One case in particular was given
up by several physicians who had been called
in for consultation with myself. The patient
had all the symptoms of confirmed consump-
tion-cold night sweats, hectic fever harass-
ing cough, etc. He commenced Immediately
to get better and was soon restored to his usual
health. l have also found DIR. VIM. HALL s
-BALsAM FOR THE LUNGS the most valuable
expeotorant for breaking up distressing coughs
and colds that have ever used"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

"A country cousin in a Cincinnati
hotel tackled a plate of soup with fork
the other day and tried for some time to
balance little of the fluid on his three
pronged trident. At last he got dis
gusted, and grabbing a spoon, ex-
claimed: Dang it! they said IL must t
going to starve when I'm paying two
dollars for what can eat, you bet!''
And he "Went in
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01
Snakes as Life Destroyers.

The loss of life in India due to the ravages
of venomous snakes is almost Incredible Yet
Consumption, which is as willy and fatal as the
deadliest Indian reptile, is winding its co Is
around thousands Ofpeople while the victims
are uncons cious of its presence. DR.. R. V.
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery must
be used to cleanse the blood of the scrofuIous
impurities, for tubercular consumption is only
form of scrofulOus disease. Golden Medj-
cal Discovery is a sovereign remedy for all
forms OF scrofulous disease, or kings evil,
such as tumors, white swellings, fever sores,
scrofulous sore-eyes, as well as for other blood
and skin diseases. BY druggists.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01
A Hotel MANS Luck.

Mr.. J. G. Tyler, chief clerk at the Union
Depot Hotel, Ogden, had rheu natism in the
muscles of the chest and left shoulder By
applying the Great German Remedy three
days he realized complete restoration, and he
is of the opinion that there is nothing equal
to the st. Jacobs Oil for pain. The Great
German Remedy is also a specific for burns
and sprains. SAT- Lake (Utah) Tribune.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

TeNoRANcE is bliss: A country cousin
found himself seated at one of our hotel
tables, probably for the. first time, and the
table girl, DESTROYS of ascertaining the extent
to which he preferred his steak cooked, pro-
pounded the usual question of chow do YOU
like it?' OF course there wasn't any smiling
around that board when the answer WAS re-
turned, with all the simplicity imaginable: o,
like il fust-r5ten
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01
A Wise Deacon.

t'Deacon Wilder, want you to tell me how
you kept yourself and ia nily well the past
season, when all the rest of us have been sick
SO much, and have had the doctors visiting US
so often"
s. Bro. Taylor, the answer is very easy
used Hop B,tters in time kept my family well
and saved the doctor bills. Three dollars
worth Of It kept US well and able to work all
tbs time. PHI warrant it has cost you and the
nefghGOrs one to two hundred dollars apiece
10 keep sick the same time"
4" Deacon, rlluse your medicine hereafter u
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01
Taken Ont of Bed.

DR. R. Y. PIERCE, Buffalo, n. z: Dear Sir
Il have to thank you for the great relief re-
cefHed from your "Favorite Prescription
My sickness had lasted seven years, one Of
which was in bed. After taking one bottle
1 was able to be about the house. Respect
fully, AMANDA K. ENNIS, Fulton, Niich.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01
ConvaIescent Persons,

When one has been sick for long time with
some low fever, such as typhoid or malarial,
it is with gladstone feeling he leaves his ted
how very weak he feels In such cases agooi
STRENGTHENING tonic like DR.. Guysott's Yellow
Oakland Sarsaparilla will help matt rs greatly.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

The first real skin cure ever discovered was
DR.. Benson's Skin Cure. It cures all rough
and scaly skin diseases and makes the skin
smooth and healthy. 1t is an ornament to
any lady's toilet.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

An ostrich at Cape Town has
broken three ribs for one man and two
legs for others by kicks delivered
straight behind. He'd make a capital
army mule it be had a bray,-Detr0ls
Free Press,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

CHINA and Japan buy our dried apples free
". Thus does American industry help to
swell the population of the Orient.-B0StO1s
IrGRScript.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

YALE COLLEGE talks of adopting anew
yell. Anybody knowing of anything particu-
larly horrible will please forward a diagram.
burlington HaaOkeye.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

''DR. BENsoN's Celery and Chanlonpile Pills
cured my aoife Immediately Of Se0eTe aseuralgi1'
H. N. Cocklin, Shepherdtown, Pa. so cents
at druggists.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

While the ten Brooklyn Aldermen
were in Jail recently for contempt of
court, two games of draw poker were
keptu almost continuously. Ex-AIder-
man Dwyer, who won the first pot on the
first deal with three aces; continued
lucky to the end. and it is said won, all
told, five times the amount of their fine
N 2. Herald.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

*&*"Old birds are not caught with chaff.''
Therefore seek and find the pure golden grains
of health in KidneYWOrt. Women. young or
old, married or single, if out of health, will be
greatly benefited by taking Kidney Wort.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01
Fits, Fits. Fits,

Successfully treated by Worlds Dispensary
Medical Association. Address, with stamp
for pamphlet, Buffalo, n. Y.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

IF you kant trust a man for the full
amount, let him skip This trying to git an
average on honesty has always been a failure.
Josh Billings.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

According to the Lancet, two-thirds
of the total quantity of medicines con-
sumed in the United States are sold in
the form of secret nostrums.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

A IITFLB New Hartford three-year-old in
admiriug her baby brother, exclaimed; HE'S
got boiled head like papa"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

"BUcHUPAIBA'' Quick complete cure, all
annoying Kidney Diseases. 81.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

For COLDS AND SORE THROAT, no more use
elliaE TrOches.'' Sold only in boxes. IS cts.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

THE mania for adulteration is so great that
you can't buy a pound of SAID and be sure
that it is not h If Philadelphia Nea0S.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

The country is estimated to be from
three to four hundred million dollars
richer than it was 9 year ago,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

Tom THUMB tried to knock down a Chicago
hackman, and was mad because the man
didn't know it.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

DoN'T DIE IN THE HOUSE. Rough on Rats. -
Clears out rats, mice, reaches. bed-bugs. 15c.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

WHAT poem does barking your shin remind
you OF! Craze L G, of course.-BoSto7s Com
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

RUSSIA Salve is unrivaled for its speedy heal
ing qualities. Ask your druggist for it. 25 cts.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

*Lydia E. Pipkham's Vegetable COMPOUND
Is positive cure for all those weaknesses 81
common to our best female population.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

THE proper way to warm the house is to
keep the cellar coaIed.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

The question which exoites the drivers of
public carriages is: 4" Does a hack or a coupe
best?''
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

WHEN convict's watch runs down it does
not necessarily follow that his time has ex-
pired.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

WHAT'S the use of getting up loan exhibit
tions when the windows of paWn-shops are
open to all gazers?-DetrOit Free Press.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

A TIE VOTE: When two people agree to ge
married.-BOSton Stag.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

RHEUMATISM CURED. Send stamp for free pre-
scription. TX Helphenstine, Washington, D. Z.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

JoNEs-''Can you give me change fora dol
lar?' Henderson (the simpleton) Yes; how
much do you ?''-BOSt0n Post.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

STRAIGHTEN old boots and shoes with LYONS
Patent Heel Stiffeners, and wear them arain.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

THE poorest excuse boy can give for not
wanting to saw wood is: 1.-THE saws got the
tooth che. "-BaItiDgOTe NescS.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01
Personal

IF afflicted with Sore Eyes, use DR.. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists it. 25c
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

HaIe's Honey OF HOrehOund and Tar
VIII rescue the baby from Group. Pike'l
tOothache drops cure in one minute.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1883-02-01

Try the new brand. "spring Tobaecos