The Bozeman weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1889, 1883-11-07
Chronicles.


| CHAPTER l.
l. Now it comes to pass that there
dwelt in the far east a high priest named
Hatch, whose surname was Rufus.
II. And he communed with himself
saying: 80! now l will guide me a
a caravan into the distant west.
III. II will summon hither the poten-
'ates of other climes and will lead them
into the land of the Yellowstone. Yea,
verify, l will paralyze them with the
grandeur of the national tree claim.
| Nv. "And steer them against my first
class caravansary at the usual rates.
Strangers without baggage must pay in
advance and meals sent to rooms charged
extra"
| V. And lifting up his voice he sum-
moned his chief scribe unto him and
said:
vi. "Go get thee hence and monkey
| with thy pens and parchment that my
chosen guests may journey hither for a
royal picnic.
! VII. "say thou unto them that the
feast is ready, the fatted calf is slain and
and that everything is lovely and the
goose is suspended at the elevation that
seemeth meet and proper.
| VIII. "And thou shalt sign each mes
sage, Yours serenely and hopeful, Rufus
Hatcl,.'"
IX. And the scribe did even as his
master babe him and the messages went
forth upon the mighty deep.
CHAPTER II.
/. Now it came to pass that when the
ship from afar had landed the high priest
gat himself unto the seashore to bid well
come unto his guests.
II. He had put on a clean shirt for
the occasion and looked as cunning as a
barrel of monkeys.
Ill But 10! and behold, istead of the
august and dignified personages for whom
his heart did yearn, there came unto
him flock of dudes and dudesses.
Nv. Dudes with plate glass windows
in their optics and with pants on that
would go on only over limbs Amounted
with oil or mutton tallow.
V. And his soul was heavy and he
lifted up his voice and gave speech unto
them, saying:
VI "Hew now BeAeld sent fer
personages of sedate mein and noble
dignity but there cometh unto me
shipload of trained monkeys The me-
nagerie business is overdone in this
country already.
vi. "Who in the devil are you any
how?"
| VIII. And they answered and said
unto him. care we not tie sons and
daughters of those whom you summoned
unto your feast?
TX. "Hath not our fathers sent lis
unto thee that we may accompany thee
upon thy journey and put thee in the
nine hole for the expenses?
X. "Purse and scrip have we not, but
We will pull thyle for ducats when unto
us it seemeth best? Yea, verify
| CHAPTER III.
l.. And in due course of time the char
| lots of steam sped across the land of the
Dacothas, bearing their burdens of i'm
ported imbecility
II. And the whole people wondered
greatly therat, for they had never gazed
upon the like before. Tailess monkeys
were novelty in the far west where the
cowboy roareth and the real estate agent
seeketh whom he may play for fish
that sucketh.
Ill And at each hamlet, town and
city that lay in their path the European
| collection of bric-a-brac would flee from
their cages unto saloons and places of
traffic.
". And they would add largely unto
their worldly possessions in fine goods,
and sooth their umbilical regions with
wines and liquors.
V. And unto each man of traffic with
whom they did barter they would say:
vi. Bring forth thy skin of parch-
ment we beseech thee, and enroll among
thine other honored debtors the name of |
Rufus 'Atch.
VII. ale will requite thee the next
time he cometh in"
VIII. And the men of trade would do
even as they babe him, for was not the
face of Uncle Rufus good at every shop
in the land?
TX. Their purchases we're numbered
by the thousand. Yea, their stand-offs
were numerous as mosquitoes in the val
ley of the Missouri
x. They did purchase neckties, and
ninety-nine cent diamonds, and liberated
bananas, and pockmarked oranges.
XI. And shirts cut low in the neck,
and shirts cut high in the neck, and
high water shirts, and shirts that chung
lovingly about their imported pink
heels,
XII. And ethereal canes, and socks
of many colors, and gloves of the nimble
kid,
XIII. And molasses candy. and
Goodyear's gutta percha gumdrops, WAR
Tanteu tOOtn prOoI)
XIV. But drawers purchased they
not for they couldn't get their clinging, :
affectionate pants over 'em.
XIV. And as day by day the priest
saw his wealth slipping away like the
sands in the glass his soul was troubled
and his heart felt as sore as seed of {
corn on the foot Of touching tenderness.
XVI. And he cried aloud in his
wrath and anguish: ''Oh !-!!-!u
-!!!!-!!!!!-- !.-!!uu!
or words to that effect.
CHAPTER ".
/. And in due time the journey was
ended and the high priest landed his
museum in New York, after a successful