Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-08-21
BRIGHT BITS.

TELEPHONES are all right, 50 far as
they can be heard frOm.-Ner orleans
PicdyaUe.
THE ONLY THING left for Courtney is to
row a race with NOah's ark.-Fbitddet-
Dbid Times.
THE 9O0-B. .-Sheepskin-"M oabite' Deu-
teronomy Mss. are now said 10 be pro-
duct Of the well-known factory OF Ananias
& Shapiro.
THE trouble with Minnie Conway, who
divorced Levy to marry OsmOnd Tearle, is
that she loved not wisely but two swells.
-Hapkeye.
\ GOLD IDOL weighing 32H pounds was
recently eXcayated in Mexico. The 9iOn-
tezumas were just like the rest of US, il
seems. Made idols Of their gold.-Hart-
ford Post.
THERE is a rumOr from Germany that a
learned chemist has discovered wonder
ful oil that will restore youth TO old age,
etc. 1t must be a species OF Olive oil
PhtladeIphtd Bulletin.
THE drummer never says Il sold
so many goods TO sO-and-so." He says,
Il sold sO-and-sO." This shows that a
drummer can tell the truth when he isn't
thinking.-BoStoa Transcript.
ONE FELLOW might hang around a surf
swimming place for weeks and never have
q chance to rescue rich mans daughter
from watery grave. smother would
grapple million heiress the very first day
and be invited to her house to dinner. 1t
is all luck.-Netr Orleans PicQyune.
Il SEE that there is hail five feet deep
in iowa" said a Wall street broker to a
barkeeper. ITS a great pity" replied
the cocktail coniurer. "Why so:" asked
his customer. because it's a shame to
suDplv so much cracked ice to prohibi-
ton State. 'f-Nelr fOIL COnlniercidf 3D.
rertiSer,
FEE SPINNER, formerly United States
Treasurer. is beating every fisherman IN
the little Vermont town where he IS rus
ticating. and his Yanquished competitors
assert that he has a hook fashioned after
his labyrinthine signature, which doesn't
give the poor fish ghost Of a chance
Burlington Free Press.
WHEN a Virginia belle was once sur
prised by her father in the parlor OF a
hotel at the White sulphur Springs. sup
porting upon her shoulder the head Of a
middle-aged admirer, she at once dis
armed the impending rebuke by eXclaim-
ing, surely. father, this is not the first
time YOU have seen an old head on young
shoulders. ''-Ne,r York Graphic.
ARE you to take astronomy next term,
Elsie z" inquired a Classmate other young
friend, Hardly. But Augustus is giving
me splendid astronomical lessons during
the vacation" 'Isn't that nice? Has he
text books and an atlas:" "Oh, Louise,
nv dear. He SAYS I'm all the world to
him. and when | lean my head on his
shoulder he is my Atlas."-HdHtord
Post.
AN EMINENT mind reader was shame
fully. most outrageously treated by a
New York audience during an exhibition
of his psychological powers. He asked
for a subject with which to experiment,
and they sent dude on the platform.
And the professor put on his intellectual
microscope and fooled away half an hour
before he discovered that there wasn't
ANYTHING 10 read but fiy-leaves and the
binding. -NOFriStOlrR Herdtd.
DURING the discussion in the House OF
Lords Of the bill permitting the marriage
of a deceased wife's sister by the bereaved
widower and the impatient lover hui
mOrOus peer Of the realm thus answered
one Of the objections to the measure
THE noble lord objects 70 the bill because
the wife's sister is really in law the sister
Of the husband, If she is the sister OF the
husband then her sister is also his sister,
and he has married his own sister And
if in law he is the brother Of his Yife's
sister. then he is the brother of that sis.
ter's sister: and, | submit, also, that the
wife has married her own brother, The
proposition is proved on both sides, and
the only safe rule is to prohibit marriage
between any man who has brothers with
any woman who has sisters"