The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1883-08-08
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A girl has been arrested while dis
guised as an old woman. The old
woman disguised as girl is still at
Chicago Tribune.
-''He shot himself in the woods" is
an Indiana papers account of suicide.
The bullet, of course, must have taken
effect in the lumber region.-N Y.
Graphic. 4t
=, Clara Cooking at the bonnets,
etc. "Don't you think they are very
handsome?" Amy (whose thoughts
are on the other side of the street,:
Every, specially the one with the black
mustache. ."-Detroit Free Press.
Several ladies lost their house
plants by freezing last winter. There
is no excuse for such negligence. Three
tons of coal at eight dollars per ton will
carry dollars worth of house plants
through the winter safelv.-N. Y. Ne1CS.
q declarer' exclaimed Mrs. It'd
nice, 81 never saw girl like our Sary
Jane. worked almost two hull days
on her new bathin' dress, and don't you
think, she got it wringin' wet the fust
time she put it onr'-Chicaqo Herald.
There are some girls so awfully
nice that they will not dance with a fell
low in ballroom if his hair sticks up
on the back of his head. The same
girl may be seen at the age of thirty
one looking in seven different direc-
tions for husband. Detroit Post. . ..
Father to his from-the-uniyersity-
back-returning-son-''Well, thou hast,
of course, no debts?i Son-"Three
thousand marks" Father-'.What
three thousand marksp" Son-"Well,
art thou not proud that thy son a so
great credit hath?" Omnibus. u
81 have often noticed that gallant
young men walking with their sweet
hearts offer the left arm, while devoted
married men with their wives offer the
right arm. Why is this?'' Edith:
.'The left arm is nearest the heart; the
right arm is nearest the pocket-book"
Boston Post.
Host (really in agony about his
polished inlaid foor)-s!Hadn't you
better come on. the carpet, old fellow?
I'm so afraid you might slip, you know"
Guest with wooden leg)-"O," it's
all right old feIlow-thanks! There's
a nail in the end you know. IN. Y.
Journal. .-s.
The editor of a village newspaper
near the city wrote of young gentle
man who sung in the choir, that he
was among the best of their amateur
singers, and he was Mortified to see it
appear in his paper, zone of the best
of our amateur sluggers." He has
gone fishing until it blows over.-N. Y.
Times.
A genuine dude has struck Lara
mie. He has homeopathic head and
allopathic feet. His pants are so tight
that he never takes them off, and he
has plate glass window in one eye.
The other is closed for repairs. He got
on the widest kind of a debauch last
night with half an ounce of pepper
sauce and a bunch of cigarettes. d, He
halls from New York.-Lardaie Boom
erdRg. ...... -.....
The Arkansaw man has many ways
of getting his name into print, and
when all other means fail the mad-dog
resort is taken up. The gentleman who
wants his name to appear in the local
paper calls on the editor and says:
s'Killed the biggest mad dog this morn
ing you ever saw. Better make local
to that effect as it might serve as o
warning to the people of the neighbor-
hood. You needn't say that 1 killed
him. Just say that a very large mad
dog was killed the other day by-well,
you can put my name in. don't care"
-ArkdnSdt0 Traveller. D