Smyrna times., 1883-05-09
WHOLE NO. 1852.
Current Comment.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

The philosopher who said figures
never lie did not know much about
ballet girls.
No." said a Philadelphia belle, "mo
electric light for me. 1t can't be turned
down low enough"
A Philadelphia restaurant advertises
" everything from picked elephant
to a fricasseed dude"
The Chinese are more civilized than
the world suppOses. They can play
baseball, but admit they don't banker
after it.
There is another revolution in Hayti,
and the last battle was fought so des-
perately that several window panes
were broken.
How much older should a husband
be than his wife Edith. Three 10
five years is usually sufficient, but if he
is very rich fifty or sixty years is allow
able.
Individual teapots are now in vogue.
Next we may expect individual grid
irons, so that each guest may go to the
kitchen and cool; his steak to suit him
self.
President Arthur says that good
baseball players make good citizens.
This is true. A good baseball player is
generally so crippled up at the end Of
q season that all he can do is to sit
around and be good.
The marquis of Lorne was first sent
to Canada where the climate is too
cold for his wife TO live in, and is now
to be sent to India where the climate
is too hot for her. This comes Of hay
ing q queen for a mother-in-law.
\ Canadian has invented a method
Of putting glass in sash without the
employment of putty. Every family
man who has ever tried to get old
} putty out of sash in order 10 put in
a new pane will rise up and call that
Canadian blessed"
, When and how did the New Yorker
, get into the habit of eliminating the
, "r"?-Clard {. They learned the
| trick "befo' the wah, at the watering
| places then frequented b. wealthy
3 Southerners. The Southerners got
, their pronunciation from their black
E nurses.
= There is said TO be young lady in
WilliamspOrt who is rich, handsome
. and amiable, and yet she has no beau.
An exchange offers a prize for an ex-
planatiOn of this strange phenomenon.
Before We make the attempt we should
; like to ask just one question: Does she
like onions?
% II is singular fact that all these
}; manufacturers of dynamite and other
re explosives are "pleastant-faced and
e harmless looking" men. 1t is also
noticeable that the patriots who talk
L. the loudest about blowing England
N sky high not only look harmless but
are harmless.
- The summers in Dakota are delight
:. full, but unfortunately are very short
1t is common thing to hear Dakot;
farmer say, "Wife, as it is the fourth O
49, July 1 think it is time to plough. Ge
me my big fur coat, palm leaf fal
- and nay snow shoes, and hurry, for
: want to finish one field before In
Winter comes on.
r. The sick mans face became sudden
IL ly illuminated with heavenly radiance
an uRwonted light beamed from hi
We eyes, and he moved his lips as if b
is would speak. His fearful wife ben
p down her ear to hear the last word
that should pass those lips forever. 1
is faint whisper, but yet full of joy an
of peace and hope, the dying man mul
to INJURED; Il die happy; l shall escap
to the housecleaning" Then all wa
'a- still. His spirit had fed.
ss, ---
NIHILIsM.-The great dyuamit
ne alarm in England has for the tim
TN drawn veil over the actions of til
Nihilists of Russia, and yet the cOnd
lh- tion of the Car is rather pitiful as IL
day for his coronation draws nigl
zen Late developments prove that even IL
me army which is to protect the Gar c
"a" his journey cannot be trusted, mar
officers including one colonel havir
been arrested. 1t is believed that Il
~ Nihilists are making general prepar
tiOns for disturbance throughout Il
~ empire, during the coronation periO
the Nihilists themselves having deels
ed that he shall not be crowned aliy
1t seems strange that the nobility
Russia cannot learn a lesson from the
| 0loIui odACCSN 4hCy Sbou
" understand that force and cruelty W
not crush out the longings for liber
-. amongst the people, Nihilism in Ri
= sia does not seem te be such a mOnsi
when viewed in a proper light, /
' they contend for is the right of saffat
'o freedom of speech and freedom of t
VI nress In this country these are I
considered crimes. While there
ru , and should be, q general condemn
mas ton of assassinations there will, q
~. must be as a general rule, sympat
80 80 for a people struggling for the rigl
which We enjoy.
They say "a wor to the wise Is $
the fcient," but we think it takes abo
al