The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1883-05-03
The I,ime-Kiln Club.

81 wish to displain,'' said Brother
Gardner as he adjusted his spectscles
! and brushed up his front hair" I wish
! to displain dat de Hon. Eigginbottom
, Lawless, of Kosciusko, Miss, am pres
ent in de aunty room an burnin' to de-
liber his celebrated address on 'Senti-
ment.' He arrove heah three or four
days ago, an has finished my las bar'l
of apples, worn my Sunday coat right
.long, an will be a dead-head on me
till he kin spoke dis piece an cotch q
mixed freight train giving to Toledo.
De committee will escort him, an if dat
water-pa1 am upsot or any lamps
knocked down doorin' his delibery de
guilty wretch or wretches will receive 3
lesson dat will remain solid for a hum
dred Vars"
The Hon. Lawless appeared with
p, pair of red mittens in one hand and q
. lemon in the other, and such was his
, placidity of mind that when he bit into
one of the mittens in place of the lemon
he never even changed color. He sized
/. up five feet and six inches, intelligent
expression, head cast in the shape of
pear, and feet large enough to trample
an onion bed out of sight. He mounted
the platform like steer climbing aside
hill. bowed right and left in response
to the applause, and quietly began:
'sMy frens, cannot dispress de pleas
! ure an gratifcashun which feel to fin
myself standin' heah under de sacred
shingles of Paradise Hall-a structure
| whose name am household word
whareber de English language sreets
| de ear. CApplause.l I woaId rxther
tan heah dan to be buried under q
$10,0 900 monument. [Cheers.
''De subjict OBJ my address an SEN
timent. What am sentiments Whsr'
do we git it, an what am It Tor9 by de
pound when the market am not cber-
| stockedp / answer dat sentiment am q
| sort O. 'lasses an mush surrourdin' do
heart. In some cases it hardens up an
| turns to. stun, while in odders it thins
out until de heart fairly floats in a pond
O. sweetness. [Applause.] Sentiment
has considerable to do wild cherry
ackshun in our eberyday life. 1t am
bizness when you start out to boray
| pan of flour or basket OBJ taters. 1t.
| am sentiment dat causes a naybur to
| lend, instead of demandin' spot cash.
| Wild applause from Judge Cadaver.l
| '.Bizness acktuates de lazy an shift
less to sot out an beg cold vittles an
old clothes an dimes an quarters.
| Sentiment acktuates women to shed
tears ober em an stock 'em up wild
huff to loaf on fur another month.
When we have kickin' boss our sem
timent am 'pealed to. We argy dat de
safety of our loved ones requires us to
trade dat anamile offeso some preacher
who wants a perfeckly reliable hoss.
OATS one kind of sentiment When we
buy an excurshun ticket to Niagara
Falls, an reach de grand cataract arter
thirty hour sweat on cattle cars, de
immense waste of water 'peals to anod-
der sort o sentiment, When we luv we
reveal another phase of sentiment. If
de gal am high-toned an rich de SEN
timent am all solid. If she am only
average, an in debt fur her las corset,
de sentiment am purity thin an won't
last longer dan de first bill fur meat
comes in, [Cries of, ''You bet''
'.My frens, sentiment writes poetry
wild one hand an tans de backs of de
chill en- wild de odder. 1t guides our
thoughts to friends ober de sea, an
sends old clothes to relashuns in Wis
consin. 1t makes us shed tears fur de
dead, an vet warns us to cut de under
takers bill down twenty per cent Sem
timent tells us to luv our fei!ow-nen,
an yit whispers to us to lock our doahs
an place torpedoes in our hen-roosts.
[Groans.l have been lookin' into de
matter fur de las forty-eight vars, an
1 has cum to de conclushun dat it was
wise thing to purvide de human race
wild sentiment / could talk to you
three straight weeks on dis subjeck, but
obsarvin' dat my half hour am up will
chop off right heah an hope dat it may
be my pleasure at some flIcher day to
meet you agin. Any pusson who wants
his fortune told will find me in de aunty-
room fur de mex two hours" [Chee1s
and yells. detroit Free Press.