The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-10-10
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

"Are things what they seem ?" asks
the Graphic. If they seem pretty
tough they are.--BoSton Post.
L. remarked to his wife that friend
chad plenty of grit" "Well, yes"
she replied, che looks as if he needed
o bath" ."-ToJedo Blade.
Bunker Hill monument is cheap
advertising medium. 1t only costs
twenty-five cents TO go to the top Of
the column.-BoStcn Commercial BuJ-
lett2.
Rattler says the cures effected by
laying on of hands is an old story with
him. His mother often INDUCED in
the pastime in times past.-BoStcn
Courier.
Thousands Of men have commenced
at the bottom of the ladder and stayed
there. Others have carried bricks and
mortar and reached the top by honest
industry.-Picayt1le. II.
John Russell Young is writing "a
history of China. What the American
housewife sighs for is a well written
and truthful obituary of the lady who
chips the China.-HGlokeye.
"Crushed strawberry" may be new
color for lady's dress, but "smashed
custard" has been a well-known tint
for a young mans trousers ever since
the picnic was acknowledgement
"No more strikes are looked for
among the Erie switchmen," says an
exchange. This information will be
very gratifying to the schoolGoys who
live in that section Of Pennsylvania
Statesman.
An Indiana poet has written some
verses on the Opulence of his poverty.
What worries most of us at the present.
time is the poverty of cur opulencc. 1t
is too sad thing to write verses about.
--Neo0 York Commercial.
1t makes a man sorely puzzled to
know, when he takes his shoe off at
night, how in the world a piece of
wood the size of a lead pencil ever
worked in through creyice about a
sixteenth Of an inch wide.-Puck.
A sponge measuring eight feet in
circumference was recently discovere
newspapers in its hand and q borrowe
umbrella, and wore white breeches and
silk coat.-ButliRgtoR Free Press.
The cost of stopping a train of cars
is said to lie from forty TO sixty cents.
But it wouldn't do any good to hold
up half dollar to the brakeman on
the rear end of the train you have Just
missed, as it goes out of the depot
Loo0eU citizen.
"What is that you are wearingY
asked Farmer John of his fair city
boarder. "Oh, that is my red jersey"
"All right" was the reply, "but don't
go near my brown Jersey over in that
field, unless you are good at climbing
trees. ."-PhiladelphtG NeIcS
An exchange says that newspaper
editors never "strike" but the asser-
tion is not borne out by the facts. An
editor once struck so hard that Wild
eyed man, with long hair and long
poem, went downstairs seven steps at
time, and landed on his spinal col
umn at the bottom NOrriStoaOn
Herald
The question "Where do all the pins
poP" is again revived. A country edi-
Tor confesses that it cannot be said,
nerhaps, where they all go. but when
one's wife is away, and one is standing
on one leg, grinding ones teeth and
irving to pin collar together in the
absence of shirt buttons, some Of them
90 into ones neck-Nel0 York Com
meTcidl.
The young minister, Mr.. W, oil
a Western city, was invited to occupy
the pulpit in an Albany church Ills
two sisters, CHANGING to be near Albany,
made their plans to go there for that
Sunday and hear him. After the ser
vice a gentleman of the congregation,
whom they knew very slightly, hurried
toward them and said: 1--WE are de-
lighted to see you here, but how un-
fortunate that you should have chosen
to-day. Don't, / beg of you, think that
this is our minister. DIR. lis of on
his vacation and we have to take what
we can %. but come next Sunday, If
you'rei n town, and youll hear a SER
mon worth listening 10, TREY Press.