The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1883-11-21
HUMOROUS.
A simple lay-An egg.
A gold pen-A coin vault.

A simple lay-An egg.
A gold pen-A coin vault
The hotel cook should be given a wide
snge. Picayane.
Not what it is cracked up to pe-A
worm-eaten nut.-Neo York Journal.
It isn't great ways to the end of /.
eats nose, but it's fur to the end of its
tail.
1t isn't such a gain. It's as much
work to lick two-cent stamp as three,
Boston Post.
Bleached mouse is the latest favorite
shade. This will probably be followed
by the rat tan.-S0merUile Journal
Rather says the cures effected by laying
on of hands is an old story with him.
His mother often indulged in the pastime
in times past.
"Cook onions to-day p he said, ex-
citedly. "Cook onions to-day That
whelp in the fiat above us has insulted
me !''-Boston Post
2 send a letter now you want
listen to this sonnet
. write it plain and then to put
cent stamp upon it.
Merchant Trdreler.
A subscriber wishes to know if it is
wrong to eat pie with knife. Well,
no, not exactly wrong, but we prefer to
eat ours with the teeth as our grand
fathers did.-Derrick.
Lightning never strikes twice in the
same place. Which is just where light
ming differs from the tramp, who always
strikes the same old place every time he
comes around.-Burdette.
Auber, on coming away from the first
performance of Berlioz's Trojens, y was
pressed to give an opinion, but he refused.
Finally, pushed to the wall, he said:
"Oh, how bad it would be--if it were
music y
eyes, remarked the economical store
keeper, 81 expect a big run of custom
this week told my wife that l had the
best stock of goods in the city-and her
sewing circle meets tomorrow. "-Phild-
delphia Call.
Now, while the frost bedecl1s the plain,
| And frescoes every window pane,
! While winds blow Cold across the moor,
Both far and near cry of pain
! Comes once again-a sad refrain:
Jerusalem! just shut that door,"
-NeiU York Journal.
"No," said the poet, "my poem
wasn't much of success. The critics
rather sat down on it. But in view Of
the fact that the printer got the
words golden light gutter-snipe' l
don't quite feel that the piece had fair
chance. - Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Peruvian war has resulted in 500
generals, 400 colonies, 2,210 majors,
1000 captains and so many lieutenants
that no one can make list of them. All
want back pay in such sums that the
country wouldn't sell for enough to
square up.-DetrOit Free Press.
A young lady at San Leandro writes,
informing us that she has found an infalli-
bic hint to remind prosy guests-chronic
staylates-to take their leave at a season.
able hour She. merely asks the
!" sticker" " to see whether the morning
paper is on the front steps.-San Fran
cisco Post.
On steamer lately arrived from abroad
during the prevailing high seas traveller
exclaimed to his very stylish but just then
pale and distressed-looking daughter:
"'What, Grace, you seasick l' Looking
around at the rest of the company
hugging the rails, she faltered out;
+" Y-y-you don't s-s-suppose, papa, I'd be
out of f-f-fashion, do you?"
Toward / o'clock in the morning
two rogues are quarreling in a savage
manner. A passer-by, moved by the ter
fible cries of one of them, accosts police
man and asks him why he does not sepa-
rate the two men. Monsieur replies
the guardian of peace and order, 'if l
fhould interfere they would both turn
against me !"-Bfeach W.T..