The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-10
French Fun.

A lS alludlng 10 an acquaintance Tn terms the very reverse of complimentary
 ..Curious to hear you saying that oi him. remarks friend Il thought you were under obligations 10 him =
 Who! |: Oh. no not al al. You see. he lent me some money once, but the nex, tune l wanted to borrow of hlm he re- fused. merely because hadn't returned the first, and so that made ii even.
 Yesterday, in pharmacy English. en- ters young man blond afflicted of d hor- rIble s,uttenng.
 T wa-wa-want,' says he. some p-p-p- pills Of lplp-ip-ip-
 ''Hurrah '" cries himself the pharma- clst impat,ented.
 A visitor, having rung the bell a, a friends door. IS received by the iiiend in person.
 You mus; excuse me, sa,s the friend. 'b1, the fac, Is ;hai everything IS in con tGsion my servant has lett and so have 10 look after the housework myself
 No servant z says the visitor cynic- ally. making abtoad finger-mark oA the dust-covered table; no servant! Why, look at this,
 A freettiinkcr who does not like phrases cri,icises the practice of founding news papers for the propagation of radical doctrines
 What Is the use of it!" he asks :: where Is the common sense of K: Peo- pie build churches m which to pray to tod. don't believe in 1t. but still can understand II. But the idea of building a temple on purpose to meet there and deny that there Is any God. that strikes me AS overdoins the thing altogether the sevenicen-year iocusts have passed repeatedly, are waking along d pubic promenade which they have irequentcd for many and many year.
 its rather curous.' says the first, but things seem 10 bc changing here. Don | you remember how, ever so long ago, we used to see lots of old, old men crawling up and down here in the sun. What $ become of them all: l never meet any oi them any more.'
 My friend, rejoins his companion. we are the old, old men that we used to see..
 A doctor is called in to prescribe for a sick child, and having examined the pa- tient writes prescription and leaves in- structlons as to the treatment of the little sufferer.
 On making his visit the next morning the prince of science is surprised 10 find the household in tears.
 My poor child :" sobs the mother. Fl never thought tha, he would have died of croup.
 'Of croup:" echoes the doctor: do you mean to say the child had croup: Why didn't you ,eil mel"
 A worthy bourgeois is telling his wife of the statue of Francis 1.
 'ls II an equestrian statue: she asks.
 "Ne-ell II IS somewhat equestrian Is the guarded reply
 He must have been the same intelli- gent reader of the>h,story that describes the battle of Aboukir as naval engage ment 50 excessively naval that Admiral Brueys and Captain Dupetit-Thouars were killed by the same cannon ball.
 The dear child has seen visitor open and shut his paten, hal, and fired with a noble em aiation possesses himself of his unele's nes and ngid stovepipe, which, when the old gentleman IS about to take his leave. Is produced somewhat resemb- ling disreputable accordeon.
 Tam biI funny, your hat ain't. says the young maietactor scorniully: :"i sat down on II three tunes and couldn', get !, 10 shut up.'
 \ gentleman discovering that he has become entitled to sundry arrears of pen sions. presents himself at the office 10 draw the money for fse quarters already due.
 Where are the quarterly certificates to show that you are alive and to identify you as the person entitled to draw this money: :" asks the official.
 "Here II Is. says the gentleman.
 Yes. bu, where are the others for the previous quarters
 For the previous quartersT
 ''fes, for the previous quarters. This certificate Is all right. but for administra- rive purposes you may have been dead and somebody else during the preced-