The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-07-27
The Summer Resort.

Now, let us pick up and go to some
summer resort. will pass BY the work
of getting ready and also the cost, also
the journey, which may be very
pleasant or very disagreeable, according
to circumstances, and | will not say
anything about the wharf or station, the
conveyance to the hotels, nor your ap-
pearance at the hotel. But you will be
shown to little bare room, that is
certain. The bed will be bad in nine
cases out of ten, and in some of them
you will find some friends who will
stick to you like plaster. The look
ing-glass is dim and cracked across its
face, the window-shade does not work,
| half the time there is no water in the
pitcher, the soap is bad, the fowls are
yellow and damp, the carpet is thread
! bare ingram or worn-out tapestry brus-
sells, and the chairs are decrepit. II
there is bell in the room at all, it is
never answered. Is the picture over
done? do not think it is. OF course,
do not refer to first-class watering
places like Newport, Cape May, At
lantic City, Long Branch, Saratoga,
Block Island. Deer Park, Oakland,
| White Mountains, Cresson and Others
of equal standing. But it will apply,
as believe, to hundreds of the water.
ing-places in the South and in the
North.
But let me complete the picture.
Come with me to the 'dining halr'
| dining hall is so much more to the
point than ''dining room"); of course
you must not go first. 1t is the proper
thing to wait awhile. and then enter the
room with languid. tired, suicidal
BEN. air, as though you were not hum
CRY, when you very well know that you
are half starved. The greasy hotel
waiter sizes you up as the hotel clerk
does, and leads you down the room past
spoiled table-cloths and dismantled
tables. He seats you down the hall,
probably at table with lot of dis
agreeable people, who eat with their
knives, spread their napkins over their
breasts and pick their teeth at table.
Of course, summer-resort hotel is not
quite complete without the nasty wood
en- toothpick. A sweating negro in
soiled and stained jacket aud filthS
napkin thrown over his arm, comes to
you in half hour, and, with his hand
resting on the back of your chair, leans
over y our shoulder to get your order.
Then he makes off as though he were
after his own dinner. In a short time,
like vessel in a storm, he again heaves
in sight bearing a tremendous tray.
Soup first, which he has spilled over the
other things, and which drips from the
plate as he hands it over your shoulder;
next fish, covered with Soup dressing,
then roast beef, roast mutton. roast
fowl, roast pork, all the vegetables and
all the entries. These he spreads round
your plate and thinks he has done WON
des. OF course, he brings a dozen
things you did not order and none of
the things you did, and the whole thing.
disgusts you and takes away really
good appetite.
But the waiter, is happy, and mops
his brow with his greasy napkin. You
push the uptasted food aside, he scrapes
it off the table, partly in your lap and
partly on the big tray, and away he
goes for your dessert. He takes every
thing he sees, sticks his thumb in the
pudding and the sleeves Of his jacket in
the ice-cream, and dumps everything
on the soiled table-cloth before you.
You eat some nuts, because they have
shells on and the kernels can not be
soiled, and you drink cup of coffee
on faith. And when You leave the Ia
BILE the waiter scowls and wonders why
You did not give him half-dollar. But
had forgotten the flies. The man or
woman VINO has never seen the flies at
a watering place hotel is to be con-
graduated. Don't they get into your
eyes, your ears, your nose and your
mouth, and on your bald head. if you
have one, and into your butter, and in
to your coffee and vegetables and every
thing, AMI if damp day comes, don't
they stick and bites-Rhitodelp hia Press.
| "A few wreck ago Mrs. John Hugh
ey, of Argyle, Washington County. N.
Y, ran q needle into the palm of her
hand Il was broken at the time, leav-