Iron County register., 1883-05-24
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A LECTURE ON MONEY.


After the audience had assembled in
Barn Hall to listen to the sixth of the
John Spicer" course of lectures ethe
| speaker took his usual stand, bowed,
and proceeded as follows ..e .ssltEt :
Ladies and Gentlemen: Ny subject is
Money. Money is the. best thing there
is to get [applause], because when you
have money you can get anything you
want to. l mean if you are where it is
or can send for it, and the one that
owns is willing to sell and you have
money enough. THE ones that own
taffy and other good things are willing
to sell, and most always you are where
they are or can send for them-I meal
where the taffy and other good things
are or can send for them-bnt you do
not always have money enough. CNo!@
Oh, no! from the audience.] Money is
very hard to get. Applause People
do not give you money for rothing-I
mean people that. are not your father
and mother, or your uncles and aunts,
or your grandpa and grandma, Or
some kin to- you 1t is very hard
to keep from spending money when
you have i any. GApplause. 1T he
reason it is so hard to keep from spend
ing moneyis because there are SO many
things people have to sel.n. That's
it," from the audience.1 My father
says Robinson Crusoe lived in good
place to keep money in When you.
have cent in your pocket you keep
thinking about it and taking hold Of it,
and first thing you know you have
bought something with it, and next
thing you know you have eaten it all
up. l mean eaten what you bought up.
ia Fellows try to get money in a good
many ways. One way is to pick up old
iron to sell to the man that buys it.
Sometimes ashes barrels have nails ind
the ashes, and sometimes you can find
nails and spikes and other old iron by
crawling under places and around
wharves. Another way is to sell llibones
to the one that buys bones, but I've for.
got what he wants them for Back
yards are frst-rate places to, find bones
in. Once I almost got bitten by dog,
trying to get a bone that dog buried up.
Once my cousin Tom found most "a
whole dead horses bones up in a pas
ture. '"iE - 'a"<1s.t 3" .,a.:-l.t -
You can get money by keeping hens,
if they lay. Red pepper is good for that.
Once sold a hen to another fellow, and
while he went to get basket, she
laid. 1 did not know whether that was
my egg or that other fellows, and he
did not know. My father said we must
call meeting of the hens and let them
settle the matter. My mother said she
knew a way better than that, and she
broke the egg in dish and stirred quite
lot of sugar up in it, and gave US two
spoons and we both ate it up. a,.5.. "a
Once / got sixty cents by selling a
kitten. First my aunt bought her for
sixty cents, but she scratched the baby, |
and she gave me ten cents to take her,
back Then I sold her to my grand
mother for ten cents, but she could not
keep her from clawing the cushions and
carpets, and she offered me ten cents /
to take her back, and took her. Then
I sold her for ten cents to a woman to |
catch mice, but she was too lazy to catch.
any and stole things to eat, and she said /
she would give me ten cents if would
take her back, and did; and six times
ten makes sixty. ..F ..gufs y r-. !
know good many money stories
that my father and my aunt and Tom |
and other people have told me. A girl !
about seven years old wanted to give |
her mother something for. a birthday
present, and poor woman came along
with some good holders to sell for ten !
cents, and the girl bought one, and
one of the = cents the girl paid
her was an old one that wouldn,t
pass, and that girl knew it wouldn't
pass! [Groans from the audience I |
know big fellow that borrowed a cent /
of q little fellow ever SO long ago and
he's never paid him yet! TGroans, and
cries, of Name!1 I shall not tell his
name. He is not one of these here.
One boy did two mean things. When
he was sweeping out schoo1-house, he
found ten-cent piece and kept it pri-
vate And when a store-keeper gave
him back cent too much change, he
spent the cent, when it wasn't his cent.
Once there was a boy and he had SIS
ter and they were both small children /
and they both had banks, and they
heard about the great Michigan fire.
That fire burnt up great many peo-
pies houses, and barns. and COWS. and !