Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-04-06
OFFICIAL FLAPD0ODLE.
A FARCICAL NECESSITY OF THE
GOVERNMENT.

How it was Indulged in After Mr.. Howe's
Death-BilIy Kellogg and the Poodle
sherman the Starter of the Chicago
Rally for GarfieId-Pleasant Irrepressi-
BILE.
w WAsHINGToN, April 5.-Of official flap
doodle there is no end. We all know that.
Flapdoodle is one of the very essentials of
official life. If there were no flapdoodle
official life would not be worth liyipo.
But can't there be a limit to fiapdoodle
somewhere? And cannot we have little
variety in our dish of that essential arti-
Gle? is the same kind of flapdoodle always
to be served out when certain questions
arise? 1t appears so. / am moved to
speak q never speak unless l
am moved; and am sometimes
moved because do speak, of this be-
cause we have been having, d1 RduSeGDl.
dish of that same old flopdoOdle with
which we have so often been provisioned
before. Postmaster General Howe died
a short time ago. Immediately there
sprang up scores of candidates for his
place all over the ecountry-I had, perhaps,
better make the scores hundreds. The
President, as he does in all cases, delays
action. 1t gets along TO be almost ten
days and no appointment is made.
An agile newspaper comes out
and asks if the President is not
bound by law to make an appointment
within ten days. This is discussed. The
statutes are quoted bearing on this sub
ject. They are very explicit in their Ian
guage. They bear but one construction.
sun the argument goes on. Government
officials, able manipulators of flapdOodle,
give their opinions on the subject. They
get into print. The people read them.
They talk, too. They are innocent of flap
doodle, but they must be in the style, you
know. Columns are printed: miles of
conversation are talked out. Finally it is
announced that the President has referred
the mOmentous question to the At
torney General. There is specu-
latiOn as to what the Attorney
General will decide. You would think
that the fate of Keifer at least hung upon
what that decision would be. Excitement
in flOpdoOdledom is great while the At
torney General is graphing with the law
on the subject-which is so plain that any
child of average intelligence can cOnstrue
it. Newspaper men hang around Brews-
ter's office all day waiting for that OpIn-
ion. Finally Brewster makes up his
mighty mind, and says his decision will
be announced the next day. Intense eX-
citement all next day. The decision is
finally made public. Anxious flap
dOOdlers breathe freer when thev
find that Brewster comedies with the
opinion of his predecessor, which is SIM
ply quotation of the law. Flapdoodle
is satisfied. But there had to be flap
doodle, or there would be no govern
ment. What matters it if Brewster's pre-
decessor said that he agreed in turn with
his own predecessors opinion on this sub.
ject; and so on back through the list of
AttorneyS-General ever since there have
been vacancies in the Cabinet! But it
does matter to flapdoOdles. Every time a
Cabinet vacancy occurs, this same ques-
tion is agitated, and always winds up in
the same way. In my own brief career
have seen it take its course time and time
again. What IS the use of it? None, eX-
cept the government needs faDdOOdle in
its business, and must have it, if it does
come high.
Two men were walking down Pennsvl-
vania avenue to-day. They were near
Fourteenth street. There turned into the
avenue from that street a short, white
mOustached man. He was accompanied
by pretty Charles the First terrier. One
of the men first mentioned hates Kellogg,
the ex-senator from Louisiana. The
white-moustached man was kellogg.
"Why, here's Billy Kellogg" said the
companion of the man who hates that
gentleman. Said the hater as he passed
within ear shot, looking half at the fer
rier: ''Is that dog named Billy Kellogg?"
Kellogg didn't seem to hear.
''Blaine was Gartield's right hand man
and the principal factor in his admins
tration," said prominent Treasury of
fetal to me to-day, ''but he ought not to
have been. Sherman was of more SER
vice to Garfield at Cincinnati than Blaine.
He acted first and set the stream towards
Garfield in the convention. OF course
neither Sherman nor Blaine was for Gar
field until they saw that they had to
be i'll order to beat Grant. But Sherman
was the first to throw his strength to Gar
field. know personally of what / am
speaking. L was i'll Sherman's room in
this building when the first systematic
break was ordered. Sherman was ro-
ceiving dispatches almost every minute
from Cincinnati. There came one an
nOuncing that the last ballot had given
Garfield fifty votes, l think that was
the number. Sherman then i'm the
hearing of all those present dictated and
sent to his friends in Cincinnati dispatch
requesting them to vote for Garfield.
They did; and their rally around Garfield
was joined afterwards by Blame, and the
formers nomination was ACCOMPLISHED
| think Blaine got, under the Garfield ad-
ministratiOn, what Sherman should have
received had the rewards been given ont
according to the services performed by
the recipients.
Commissioner Raum to-day received a
letter from Pleasant, in which he refers
to that letter of Raum's of which made
mention in my last erudite communica-
ton. Pleasantysays that he can see after
that letter why Raum should require him
to make new bond. He takes exception,
however, to the valuation placed upon his |
present bOndsmen. He says there is a
mistake somewhere, and that the asses
sors' returns quoted by Raum cannot be
correct. He gives some reasons why he
holds them to be incorrect. He saws,
however, that he will eIdeayor to make
new and satisfactory bond, although
Raum's lie tier will take from that paper
several names which were considered
good enough to be upon the bond of his
predecessors. POTOMAC.