Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-12-27
sQUIBs.
Pressed for time: A mummy.

The mayor of Meridian, Miss.
thinks that J'custom has made it
proper for man to lie in a horse
swap
Saloon-keepers IN Fort Worth, Tex,
pav their S25 fine for keeping open on
Sunday. and find it profitable.
A North Stonington, Conn, man
recently shot white woodcock, the
only one ever seen about those parts.
A girl at Salt Lake, Utah, made a
lecherous old Mormon pay her Sl,00O
for trying to pass her off as his
wife.
Buffalo, n. Y, brags that ont. Of It's
wards contains bigger population
than the state of Nevada.
1t is said that the ground IN Cali
fornia is so dry that a cloud OF dust
follows every plow that IS running.
James X. Polk was the only man
who has ever gone from the speakers
chair INTO the white house.
A gentleman living near Tupelo,
Miss, found a heavy gold cross, long
buried in one of the battle-fields at that
place.
A recent storm melted the tele-
phone lines between Waco and Hills
burro. Texas, and knocked down q
numper of poles.
A citizen of Meridian, Miss, got a
postoflice order at that place and
paid the amount with $50 copper cents.
An inventor of Los Angeles, Cal.
claims to have invented an electrical
process which will do away with
telephone and telegraph wires and
poles.
An enterprising New York baker ex-
hibits in his show-window pigs head,
a turkey, a bologna sausage, and a
platter of sausage-all made Of cake.
A general reduction of wages is be-
ing accepted by the employees of the
iron and steel works of this country,
under the depressed condition of
trade.
A Yankee editor, observing that
Fthe census embraces 1900, 600 wo-
men, asks: "Who wouldn't be a
census3'
Baseball has been got down to so
fine a point that umpires are to use
tuning-forks in order to decide upon
the right pitch.
They say the finger nails of the Bar
tholdi statute, to be erected on Bed
loe's Island, New York Bay, are Il
inches long It's about time they
were cut.
Hon. D. G. Haskell, of Kansas, a
leading republican member of con
gress, died at Washington Sunday,
aged Al. He has been a member Of
congress since 1873.
Lord Lorne has been prevented
from exporting game birds from Man
itoba by the strict law of that place,
and finds that there is no royal road
to poachlng.
Mrs. Ole Bull has made a fine bronze
urn, TO be placed over her husbands
grave 1t is about feet high, plain,
and bears the simple inscription: "Ole
Bull. 1S10-1SS0."
A young man in South Carolina,
only 20 years of age, has been engaged
nineteen times. 1t is seldom that
youth of his age has been the hero of
so many escapes.
Just because Chicago gets its third
national convention, the Buffalo Com
mercial Advertiser shouts right out
in public, THE greatest hog center in
the universal"
"How old are your little boy ask
ed of little girl ooh, You mustn't
ask me that. ''Why2" Cause a
gentleman oughten ask lady her
age. I'm goin' on 6; now there"
"My Lord" said Tawmus, you've
no idea what a horror it gives a man
to steal up behind girl who is scrib-
bling. look over her shoulder and find
that she's idly writing your name,
with Mrs prefxed. ="
Lean passenger to very fat one
''It the company did the right thing
they would charge fare by the hun
bred weight" Fat passenger-''DOa't
advocate that idea, for then they
couldn't afford to carry such light
weight passengers.
MILO. ID. Is u ulOAb lONCiN CICdbuIp'
but her hands are the color of boiled
lobster. Some one happened TO men
ton her name to Godinet. 'She is
very pretty" said the witty author
Il only see one fault in her; her
hands are trihe too bashful.
Il don't care for any des ert today, "
said a boarder at table, addressing the
landlady. Don't say desert, Mr..
Quibley. Please speak properly at
my table and say desert" Excuse
me, replied Mr.. Quibley. 81 said
desert because l found 80 much
sand in it yesterday"
Washington society is all agog
because Mr.. Bayarde the grave and
usually circumspest Senator from
Delaware, escorted Mrs. Langtry
through the halls of the Capitol and
invited her to lunch in tho Cap
itol Restaurant, one day last week
Now that Tennyson has been made
a Baron, the newspapers are general
ly quoting for his benefit those beau
tiful lines he once wrote, running as