davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-12-27
THE TWO MEN or COLOGNE.

4, lonr time ago, there lived, in Cologne,
AZ !Ons Ssn afller- and Rupert Van Toner ~
md Otto wrote FABLES,
But Rupert made tables : =.
,yyu,o verE best tables that ever were knowH"
81 aid every sensible frau in Cologne.
s,ysSb8 Rupert said Otto Won Hitler, one
anoms. ua tell me the WONDERFUL reason, pray,
why men call you clever,
when, really, you never
p-oseseed to have very much learning, you
Al Hnwl IU.well, in truth, I've enough for showl
.ru, rnaster Of Latin. Pm famous n Greek,
poth French and Italian fiuently speak;
wv Icould talk by the year 7t
OF our Nations career; 5.... - =.
vat some one has said-to his shame be it
That Ig am the stupidest man in Cologne!'
Said Rupertwap Tone: IF you'n promisests
0'NI IN iE sEEE ~ - Z
ri tel you the secret-I've learned to keep
qqissssBattrve q.ssBbtt 50 m1ebt6 say," ~
"'Twont spoil in day; str
wbo lets his tongue run like vibrating lever
stands very small chance of being called
clever"
But i,s.. he'd .s9 much to saw this Otto 'San
Twas now to the Judge, and now to the
miller; uTs - tyE tEisc
He'd appear without warning,
And stayiai the morning., e 81 10
Tfl his hearers would sigh as he left: "What a
drone! .sM
He il truly tire stupidest man Cologne r. 4 4 I
nut Rupert Van Tone worked on at his trade:
ne listened and thought, but his words he well
weighed,
Till az tWoscore and twenty
He'd money in plenty; esssa t=ssF
And through summer and winter his mansion
was known s-.
As the home of the cleyerest man in Cologne.
-Ein1nG c. DolUd. in st, Nicholas.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-12-27
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Most people are perfectly willing
to be good when they get too old to be
bad any longer. IN. Y. Herald.
Oscar Wilde has received many
thanks from Mary Anderson for writing
a play for her. They reach him in this
shape: "Declined, with many thanks,
-sI hev allus noticed,p observes
Aunt Tabetha, ''that the boy who let's
his mother bring in all the kindlin'
wood and build the kitchen fire is the
mourner that be1lers loudest at her fu-
neral. l.va And then she added thought
fully: "Mebbe. as not it is because he
misses her the most. "--B0Ston Post.
Elder sister: Geraldine, why did
you take so much trouble to snub that
handsome, manly young fellow we just
metz Geraldine: o, that's Harry
Hardlines. He hasn't a cent to his
name, and he's got mother to sup
port: and that sort of thing isn't good
form, YOU know, nowadays. boston
Post
The father prayer:
81 cannot sing the old songs"
She raspingiy did toot,
While at fIn asthmal organ
Her fingers Sn6 QlQ HnOOb.
ssThank heavanP' grOWled the parent
With manifest ado,
"An, pray they'll fx the new ones
Just so you cannot, too"
--Yonlseqs Gazette.
"A trade circular, under the title,
.sWhat will the Coming Girl Wear p
contains description of the articles
likely to constitute the wardrobe of the
| future. 1t is description sufficient to
convince anybody that what the coming
Girl will chiefly wear is hole in the
pocket-book of the man who supports
her. Brooklyqa Eagle.
There is a pertinent German story
of recovery from trance. A man
died, as it appeared. He was about e
be buried when he came TO life and
burst the lid of his coffin. He wa
hastily removed from the grave anc
rapidly recovered health. During hi
seeming death be heard all that wa
said about him. He changed his will
.sGood morning. Is Mr.. Blacl
J in?'' ''No. sab, he's gone to his ousi
, ness. sab. . ssWell, is Mrs. Black IN 2
[ ..Dat depends, sab. What does J
, want wild her p'' eWhy, here's a mil
| bill of thirty-two dollars I'd ike her (
settle.' ..She am not In, sab" ''Br
know sheis in" Cant help 1t, sal
: De orders am dat she am never il fl
: milk and meat bills and sich. GOO
} mornin' I has to 90; she am ealll
me. "-KsntNoky State gosrnA
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-12-27
The Pleasure of 'sPieking Up'' Things.

"Why do you practice shoplifting?
Surely the profits are seldom large
compared to the risk you run"
Right you are, ~ was the answer.
''Tain' what we get on the make by
it, but the racket of it fetches US.
Why, sometimes / don't flush birds
enough to pay me for my go Yet
it's jolly, and l like it for the excite
ment. Playing euchre's nowhere to it, y
Where does the pleasure come imp
"WeIl, women naturally like shop
ping. They have fun going about the
big stores and looking at things. |
like that kind of thing, too, but besides
that / get anything / like for nothing,
and that's more fun. There is the
racket of watching the 'lah-de-dah'
clerks and the dizzy foor-walkers. /
wait until they are looking another way
and calling out Cash, cash, to the
hungry little girls and then slyly slip
something | think would look much
better in a pawn-shop under my cloak
and all's serene"
'sIsn't the risk very great?'
s'Of course it is. But there's where
the pleasure is. There is the same sort
of risk in gambling, and have a pas
sion for it. When get what aim foI
I'm just as happy and eontented as a
clam in high water. O, it's an i'm
mense racket-if you amt caught, :
and the shoplifter sank back to think
over her probable term Of imprison
ment.-N Y Truth.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-12-27

:. --'I see you are growing a mus
tache, George said she, as she car
ressed the lapel of his coat "Yes,"
stammered George, blushing furiously,
. zI--I am trying TO cultivate one, Ara
BELLA don't it feel funny on your
lip" she asked. ssWen, no." he
laughed, regaining his composure, lit
seems to be quite natural. y II won
der how a mustaohe would feel on my
lip" she said, with far-away, absent
look in her eyes. ssYou needn't won
der long, then" said George, as he
bent down. 80, you forward thing!'
she exclaimed; "I've a good mind to
make you take that back again" And
he did, Chicago Herald.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-12-27

1t is said that one New York pro-
duce firm has paid an average of fifty
dollars day for month at time for
kilograms to Chicago, and the tele-
graphic business of five firms with
their Chicago correspondents costs
$4,000 year. And yet less than
half . century ago all the worlds busi-
ness was transacted witbout the wire. :.
N. 7. EueztBq Nail.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-12-27

Peter Calvin shouted "Firep' just
for fun in the vestibule of the opera
house at Hamilton, Ont. and was fined
twenty-five dollars by humorous
magistrate.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-12-27

RecaIcitrant Preachers.

It is related that when Rev. DIR. Ellis,
Rev. Phillips Brooks and Rev. DIR.
Brooke Herford were on their way
home together from Liverpool to Bos-
ton, on the first Sunday out the captain
of the Cephalonia endeayored to ar
range for religious services, and asked
the three famous clergymen 10 decide
among themselves which should preach.
Mr.. Herford at once excused himself,
saving he had preached steadily during
his vacation and now wanted at least
one Sundays rest. Then Mr.. Brooks
suggested that DR.. Ellis, being the old
est, ought to preach. 30, no. said
DR.. Ellis, sit would be nonsense for me
to preach when everybody wants to
hear you," And so, after half an hour
Of disclaimers and compliments. the
end of the matter was that there was
no preaching at all. "Well.' y said the
captain, with sigh, 81 did what
could. But isn't it singular? Three
fire-escapes aboard. and nobody saved
from the burning" Chicago journal
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-12-27

The tart ofthe chiropodist first at
tracted attention in 1845, when Ger
man praeticed on the eorns Of the
Queen Of England,
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-09-02
a DIVORCE SUIT.
A Prominent Family OF Fort WORT, Seek
10 End Their Troubles IN Court.

A Prominent Family OF Fort WORT, Seek
to End Their Troubles Ia Court.
Yesterday Josephine III. Ryan filed
in the district clerks office petition
for divorce from her husband, alleging
that cruel aid abusive conduct upon
his part has mnde life insupportable
with him. Mrs, Ryan IL probably
better known ia the public rs the
"Widow iIirshileld' Her former
husband alnassed considerable for-
tune Ia real estate In this city which
IL estimated to have amounted to sew
enty-five thousand dollars Her mar
rage 10 the defendant occurred on the
4th dny of March, 1880, and she then
hnd i've little children aud Mr.. Ryan
had several children who were grown
up. The complaint alleges specific ill-
treatment by the defendant to her son
Willie, who IL the oldest child OF her
self aud fist husband. Two children
have been the result of her marriage
with the defendant; Ida, daughter
about three years old, and Robert, n
son about ten months old. The plain
tiff pfays for the possession OF these
children In her complaint.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-09-02
IN BRIEF.

Go to Eastwood Il King for Harper's
"BoroJentine, the finest tooth lotion
in the market.
Give Harper's fragrant "Borodcn-
tine" for he teeth a trial. For sale by
Eastwood Il King.
Try Harper's Borodentine" tooth
lotion; it just takes the cake. Sold by
Eastwood Il King.
In yesterdays issue it was stated
that Mr.. w +. Patrick had arrived in
the city to take charge of the telephone
exchange. The name should have
been w. I. Bostick.
The Texas aud st. Louis railway
changes time today so that persons
intending to pass over that line had
better inform themselves in regard I,
the new time card.
The west bound Texas and Pacific
passenger which should have arrived
at S:35 night before last did not reach
the city until about 10 o'clock yester
day morning. The delay was caused
10y the burning ola bridge on the road
about lob miles east of this city.
l.. n. Brunswig Il Co has just re-
ceived lot of hand-omely engraved
souvenir cards, which they viii pre-
sent TO their customers during the
holidays, with the compliments of the
firm.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-09-02
TO MY FRIENDS.
CHURCH NOTICES.

There will be no services at the
Fourth.street Methodist church to-
day, ms the house Is undergoing repairs
Horace BtsIoP, 7. e.
At The First Baptist Church SER
vices as usual by the pastor. Theme
in the morning Church Discipline !;
rs Aims and Nature.n Revival SER
mon ut night. Sunday-school at $3.50
u, IN, j. ID. MURPHY, fhStor.
There will be services Mt the Cum
berland Presbyterian church this
morning, the pastor officiating. ser
vices II n. IN. and S:l5 p. IN.
Second Presbyterian Church Ser
vices in the new Third Ward school
house. west of South Main street
Preaching MT II a. m aud . p. m. Sab
bath school at $3.50 p N. All ar,
invited,
REV. HENRY BASKERVILLE.
st paul's NJ. Il, Church, cor Main
and Ninth streets, Rev. i. III. Bodkin,
Pastor. Sabbath school ut $50 n. IN;
preaching ut II II. m. by the pastor
and 500 p. III. by Rev. A. a. John,
son. Strangers welcome to worship
with us.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-09-02

Saturn, next in order, under the tele-
scope the most splendid celestial OBJ
iect, appears now as "a bright white
star little above Aldelaran. Ii rises
at ! O'clock, and 10y ! O'Clock IL in
good position for seeing. Its rings
show grandly Mt this time. the angle
they make with the earths plane be-
ing now Mt its maximum. In Il fort
night this planet will be behind
enough for good seeing mt midnight.
In October IL will be fine object I'm
the evening sky, which no one AT all
interested in astronomy should fail to
examine with the aid of the best aces
sible telescope. Jupiter, with his four
great moons, is up only an hour and Il
half before the sun, and will not rise
as carly ms q o'clock until November.
Mars beams out OF the eastern sky
Il little north OF west at little
after midnight, and rolls up the
heavens In great ball of fire, day
light blotting II out before Its meridian
pass Venus, the most beautiful
naked.eye star of all the hosts of
heaven, and the only planet that
shows us phases as glowingly as the
moon does, IL but twenty-eight min
utes, OF six degrees, from the sun, and
will soon cease TO be morning star.
IL viii be an evening star af,er Sep
temher 20 A conjunction of Saturn
and the moon will occar on the 25th,
which Is, however, robbed Of
! It's interest In taking the mop
perfume hour OF l;3b p. m, an
hour when the planet and moon
are not above thehorizon. a commune.
ton of Jupiter and the moon occurs
on the 10Th. but broad daylight robs il
of It's spectacular interest. An event
of great value for scientific reasons,
and particularly ms affording means
for obtaining the parallel Of Mars,
occurs on the 10Th In the conjunction
OF that planet with star in the con-
stellation gemini, only that this I'M
| fortunately occurs ut p III, Indeed,
what peculiar phenomena are now
| happening seem To have arranged for
the display when they can not be utll-
lied by the observer.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-09-02
The Morphino Poisoning.

Little Chaiey White, who accident
ally took morphine for guinine at her
home, about four miles southeast of
this city, on Thursday morning, is
still lying in Il comatose state. Her
father, who took the same drug, is en-
tirely recovered. Dir. W. II. Brooks
told n reporter of the GAZETTE last
night that he had again been sent for
aud for and found the little girl no bet
ter than she was twenty.four hours
earlier. She has been lying In an un-
conscious state for over sixty hours,
He declined to express an opinion, but
says he has strong hopes of her ulti-
mate recovery, She occasionally swsl-
lows spoonful of liquid nourishment
and her breathing il nearly normal.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-09-02
THE MAN THE TOWER.
lie MUSES. over tho Downfall of the OF,
Court House Fence

He MUSES. over tho Downfall of the Old
Court-Huuse Fence.
The old man was tntently gazing
down OH the workmen busily engaged
in tearing away the old stiles in front
OF The courthouse, yesterday, and did
not see the reporter, who paused by
his side Just Ms the tower clock was
striking the hour Of three. The old
man was musing to himself, and the
reporter could almost hear him as he
whispered
YES, the old fence is going; were
il IA old as Methusaleh, 1t would have
to give way to the progressive spirit of
the age for the paltry sum of twenty
dollars 1t Is going gone. The pyra-
mids OF Egypt are sinking under the
sands of the desert the Parthenon at
Athens Ia falling under the ruthless
hand of time, and now my old fence
must take Its place In the dorkened
chambers of oblivion. Men, eminent
In society, church and state, have set
upon It's top plank to hold ii down. 1t
has been warmed by more than one
ambitious politician, rs he told
how the country would dissolve
into smoke unless he was elected. The
good bad and indifferent have notcbed
it with iack-knives while sitting out
In the moonlight; the thomas cat has
prowled In midnight majesty around
It's angles; judges, lawyers and colonies
without number have s'raddled it and
now no one lifts up his voice to say
WcrSmen are that fence
Touch not a single plank.
Say, old man. said the reporter,
."cleer up and have scme style about
YOU: Your blamed old fence might
have done for the back yard OF the
moon but IL Is not M sthetic enough for
the Oscar Wildes of Fort Worth. Brace
up and tell me some news
The old man braced and said II see
they are having some trouble out on
. the prairies about cutting wire fences,
aud last night as | was'trying to count
1.-THE stnrs aud praying for rain saw Il
man come rail fencing IL up the
Weatherfur,l road He was numb,
ling something about the right of emf
nent domain, and that While he never
I owned foot Of Texas land he had
been fenced In n dozen times on some
| body's elses His hair was unkcmpl
and uncombed; he looked rs though
he had been living in a hole in bank.
anu as he was coming straight toward
the tower, | thought | would watch
him. On he came until he ran plump
into tho new fence, which was hidden
in the dark
"Wcll, may | be eternally taken fol
n living tramp he exclaimed as n,
struck out for the Tlvoli saloon; al
those blamed cattlemen haven't fence
I'm the whole state, courthouse ant
all.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-09-02
A Railway Collision.

The south Bound Missouri Pacific
passenger which should have reached
The city at 5il5 a. M. was five hours
late owing TO collision which oe-
cured near Denton. 'he passenger
train ran into the caboose and one box
ear of freight train which had broke
loose from the engine which was
ahead. The cars were demolished
and engine considerably damaged.
The engineer saved himself by jump
In The passengers were considerably
shaken up but fortunately none of
them We're injured beyond slight
bruises,
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-09-02
sTAR-GAZIsRs.
some Rich scenes the Heavenly Bodies
have for Celestial Sight-scers,

some Rich scenes the Heavenly Bodies
have for Celestial sight-scers.
The ustrono nical reporter of the
GAZETTE has recently made an excur-
sion through the starry route and find
that the planetary show for summer
evenings has been pushing back as IL
were, till so far this season we have
missed altogether the familiar lights
of Jupiter and Saturn. The latter.
however, In beginning 10 appear in
the eastern horizon To late settlers.
the only planets that ut this time get
above the horizon In the evening,
Neptune, tho remolest of ell the
planets, being about thirty times
farther from the sun than the earth,
rises mt ten o'clock and can only lie
seen by good telescope. Its position
Just now Is In the tail OF the Ram aud
near two iiflh-maguitude stare marked
Delta and Xeta, a fourth-niagnitude
star being close by. This planet can
not he seen we'll till ut least two
hours after rising, or near twelve
o'clock. Uranus, the next most re-
mote planet, Ia l,O00, 100000 miles nom
the sun, aud can be caught up easily
by n fourinch apaturc, and, In very
favorable circumstances, ny IA good
teld-glass. IL " now near the quite
bright third star in the Virgin, north
OF Beta, and. therefore, Is above the
horizon only In daylight, and, indeed,
IL only one and one-half hours
from the sun. planet-seekcrs
therefore, must defer their search for
this star till the sun IL Ia nearly the
opposite position la the heavens.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-09-02
TIiE COURTS.

The county criminal court convenss
on Monday. There ale eighiy-nine
cases ON the docket.
District court convenes the following
Monday aud viii probably last many
weeks as there are a Very large number
Of new cases In Clerk Harlslield's of.
flee.
Recorders court-Joe Mulcnhey,
walking with prostitute, SO. Nj. ID.
Marley, displaying a pistol in a public
place; 50 Jake Grant, disturbing the
peace, 800. Mrs. r.. Is. Waggoner,
assault; dismissed. John McJensie,
drunk; SIS. George Fair curslng; 50.
:. L MackinS, walking with prosti-
tnte $40 w. X. Hunter, assault
STAT. Lottic Jones, prostitute; IS.
Fannie Mooney, prostitutes. dismissed,
Ball Jones, prostitute; dismissed.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-09-02
rllc,l.

In The district court Yesterday John
Flint filed two suits 10 cover the
amount OF two promissory notes, Sc
cured by vendors lien.
One Is against Rowland Lewis for
SlTj 40 secured 10y lien on 2lS acres OF
land lying about eight miles west of
Fort Worth.
The other Is against w. Il, Joyce,
secuted by lien on six and three-puar-
t,r acres on the j. j Reese survey,
fifty acres of the u. T.. Norton survey
aud iliteen acres OF the w. X, Robin
son survey.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-09-02

70 the C.tigens Of toi, Worth;
YOU have generously and literally
aided iue ia securing the location al
Texas Wesleyan College In our city.
It's pres, Mt financial condition IL large
Is due To your interest In an Institution
81 learning. For tls we heartily
thank you, aud deeply appreciate your
confidence In the enterprise.
Now that we have so nearly reached
q point Of financial success, mud pros
pectiyc are soon to receiev large do
nation from friends abroad. | desire 10
call your attention TO Il kiadred fact
Patronage Is now necessary TO the full
success Of tie college a strong pat
fonage and q building crowded with
students win do more than money In
influencing our friends in tbeix pro-
posed donations. We therefore ask as
strong patronage in the way OF stu.
dents as YOU have given the college
financially. We have reached point
where we can guarantee satisfaction
In every particular
We have gone to the trouble aud cx-
pense Of securing competent aud thor
ouel teachers Prof +. NJ White, u A.,
has been employed as president to
manage the Institution. He comes to
rs with the strongest recommendn-
tions and Il successful History.
The college will open September 10,
at the corner of Tbrockmorton aud
Seventh streets in good aud comfort 4
l,le temporary buildings. whc will
he used nntil we move into our $40, 0O0
stone building on college hill With
these faets Is IL not wise to patronize Il
home institution, which. when made
successful, will be great addition t.
our city and bring not only students
but many cultured people into our
midst. loufs respectfully,
REV A. A. JOHNSON,
Einaurini AGENT
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-09-02


W"s'hsrNofe> fsom ~. Race coursc.
There has be1n considerable interest
mnnlhasted uiu'inp the sporting ffaler-
nity nbuut The iDfupOsilion 10 have the
nlhue.Mitchell prize fight occur In
ms city. II certainty would be about
the p,ggest drawing card ever hung
~ me cutter walls ef the Fort aud
WVold bring nany thousand people
i,trv. An ,ilntt Is on foot to secure
me card tut Il is not known
w'iAt success viii attend II. Nat
iN'arnrf has sent telegram Offering to
lniy ~ expenses from amy part ct tie
United States. When X Games To a
real i've venture Nat Kramer Is al.
ways ~ 'front.' Ito has taken the ic-
spoiisibiliiy himself but can very
easily get all the backing he wanls
80 rcplN laa been received yet from
Kansas City.
,Sveral mnre horses arrived at
tie track yesterday.
MIR. Mttaii say. Il large number OF
eastern liorsts viii he here thia GALL
Col. BARCLAY ba4 gone TO Dallss lnr
u few taya
Work will soon be commenced on
the anphitheatre and grand stand
he new iOla TO the race course
VIII be splendid drive.
Applications for quarter etretch
badges vii soon begin to nour III
Nat kaih,rs lily. Matte Reed Is
n promising young animal aud viii
fool Somebody this fall
There Will be- large crowd al the
track tu.rHS.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-09-02
NIilsirnl.

G. +. Matthews will FOR another
week receive orders for piano tuning
and repairing at rully's. He has tuned
this time for X, Il. Beekham, T.. w.
Goodwin, V. Brewster, J. NJ. Robbins,
w. Is. Tucker, Miss tvestine Conk-
ling, J. ID. Reed, v. Robinson, Il. y.
Stevens, w. A. Huffman, Mrs. n, A,
Hendricks and Howard Tully, Mrs.
Nj. q. Mullin, DR.. G. M. Peak, Mrs.
Carrie Walden to any OF whom lac
would respectfully refer.