The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-04-13
THE NEW YORK P0sTOFFIOE.
Some Odd Incidents Which Ealivsn Uncle
Sans NJ lil-Handlars

| L ne nlOHOIOnN OF OIllcIdi filc III the
postoffice is occasionally varied by n
ludicrous incident which affords 10 the
employees temporary relief from the
daily grind of postlHarl< ing, asserting,
receiving and dispatching. The New
York SIN says that a few Sundays ago
the clerks on duty in the basement were
busy asserting the newspapers, Which,
after being received in the lobby front
ing-on Mail street from the wagons in
which they are brought to the postoifico,
are thrown down a wooden chute about
three feet square and twenty feet long,
| and land on large table The clerks
were amazed to see the body of Il man
emerge from the chute and roll over on
the table, followed by his hat. A hasty
examination showed that, though in
sensible, he was alive and apparently
uniniured consciousness returned in
few minutes, and he was recognized As
a former employee of the Office. 1t was
found that, having called to see an ac-
lquaintance who was on duty in the lobby,
he had been seized by an epileptic fit.
He was standing close to the entrance of
the chute. He fell bodily in, disappear
ing in a flash from the sight of his as
tonished companion.
A few days agoa registered letter was
received at Postoffice Station A, adj
dressed to an aged German living in the
neighbOrhood, and was given to the let
ter carrier for delivery, but was re-
turned to the station because its owner
was not at home, and there was no one
| on the premises authorized to sign the
required receipt. After several other
efforts to deliver it, it was sent to the
general postoffiee; and the German, ON
calling ut the station and making in
quiry about Twas informed of the facts,
and furnished with slip of paper on
which was written a certificate that
would enable him to obtain the letter ON
application to the general postot1ice.
| Armed with this document he made
his way to the big federal building, and
was soon wandering through its mazes
seeking for the Registered Letter De
| partmcnt-' Observing on the gallery a
| line of citizens standing outside the
closed door of an office, each provided
with slip of paper similar in appear
ance to the slip he held, he fell in at the
foot of the line, which was rather a long
one. At intervals of ten or fifteen min
utes the office door opened, a man
emerged and departed, voice called
Next The man at the head of the
| line entered, and the door closed behind
| him. In about an hour and half the
| patient Germans turn arrived, and, en-
| tering the room, he found himself alone
with gentleman of professional aspect
who, giving hasty glance at the slip Of
paper, said:
That all right take off Your coat. -
''Dake of mine goat? Vat you dink
come for? To got shaved? want
''Oh, that's all right-taFe off your
coat; | can't examine you unless you
| do
Den vos got to be examined? So?
Dots all right, | 's'sbosc," and off came
the coat
We'll take off your waistcoat and
shirt; do you think | can examine you
with your clothes on?''
Look here, mine vriend, YOU dink
vas a tief? You want to search me?
Veil, dots all right. | peen an honest
man, by gracious, und you don't Wind
no shtolen property my clothes insite.
vas never zearch before already
Il don't want To search you; | want
to examine you. Don't YOU under
stand?'
mo, l ton'd understand him ut all,
but dots all right; dere's my shirt off.
und if l 4 cold cotch dot will YOUR fault
peen.
The professional-looking gentleman
placed his hand affectionately on the
visitors shouldef-blade, and applied his
ear to his chest, listening intcntly: then
he tapped him on the breast-bone and
punched him in the small of the back,
inquiring if it hurt.
Hurt? No, dot ton't hurt, but may
pc if dose foolishness don't stop some
pody ellus gets briefly soon hurt"
"Does that hurt?' was the next ques-
ton accompanied ny = gentle thrust
among his ribs.
mo, dot don't hurt, but by gracious,
if
''Oh, be quiet; I'm in a hurry and
have got a dozen more to attend To.
Now, can YOU read this card when | hold
it out 500"
NO
Can you read it now?' bringing it
few inches nearer.
No, but You can choost bring me out
mine sbegslagles by mine goat pocket,
und | read him.
''Oh, that won't do. Your evcsieht
is defective, I'm sorry to say, and sou re
rejected. Put on your clothes again,
quick please.
Dots all right. So | vas reelected.
ehp Veil, dot yos nezeZzary, | subbose;
but it's very vunny, choost the same.
Gnu HOW We bScu TctHtcttU i0C IN
amined und all dose dings vot Won do
nit me, MAYBE you don't some objection
got to give me dot rechistered letter?'
What registered letler?'
dot rechistered letter vot sos sboken
apout on dis bieee of baper from station
A"
The dickens! Who sent YOU to me
with that? | Thought you had come to
be examined. Didn't you apply for APP
pointment as letter carrier?"
AS letter CARRIER? No, don't want
to be 8 letter CARRIER. | hat good push
ness got by mine own self; but ply gra-
cious, | want mine rechistered lettel
from Germany vat mine bruder sent me
by station A. +"
Here" said the professional gentle
man, opening the door and calling a
messenger from the lobby; show the
gentleman to the registered letter de-
partment;'' and the bewildered foreign
er was conducted to the proper window
1t happened to be the day for the ex-
animation, by the postoffice medical of
ficer, of candidates for appointment. as
| letter carriers.
The following curious puzzle is said to
| boot tho aalabvafad