The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1883-03-30
THEyBAp BOYS BOUQUET.
How the Story Was Told TO the Grocery
man.
PecE's Sun

Peck's Sem
"say, do you think little joke does any
hurt?" asked the bad boy of the grocery
man as he came In with his Sunday suit on,
and bouqet In bis button-hole.
"No, sir" said the grocery man, as he
licked of the syrup that dripped from q
quart measure, from which he had been fill
Ing q jus. ~ hold that man that gets mad
at . practical joke, Is fool. That's nice
bouquet you have in your coat. What is It
--pansies? Let M smell Of IT," and the
grocery man bent over In front of the boy TO
take q Whit at the bouquet. As he did 50
stream of water shot out Of the innocent
looking bouquet and struck him full in the
face.
"You young reprobate," said the grocery
man TO the boy, rs he took up an axe.helve
aud started for him, "what kind of gol-
blasted squirt. gun have you got there? I'll
maui you, by thunder" and he rolled up his
shirt-sleeves.
"Here, let me show 1t TO you" said the
bad boy. "There Is o rubber hose runs from
the bouquet, inside my coat, TO my pants
pocket, and there is bulb of rubber that
holds about half pint, and when a Teller
smells Of the posy, l squeeze the bulb. It's
fun, where you don't squirt 1t on a person
that gets mad"
The grocery man said he would give the
boy half pound Of figs If he would lend
the bouquet 10 him for half al hour to play
II on customer, and the boy fixed 1t on the
grocery man, and turned the nozzle so II
would squirt right back into the grocery
mans face. He tried II on the first customer
that came in, and got II right IN his own face,
and then the bulb In his pants pocket got TO
leaking. and the rest of the water ran down
the grocery mans trouser leg, and he gave IL
up In disgust, and handed Il back TO the boy.
"How was II that your pa had to be carried
home from the sociable In hack the other
night?" asked the grocery man, as he stood
close TO the stove SO bis pants leg would dry.
Gle has not got TO drinking again, has he ?''
"Oh, no." said the boy, as he file the
bulb with vinegar, to practice on bis chum
at was this bouquet that got pa into the
trouble. You see / got pa to smell of 1t,
and / just filled him chuck full Of water.
He got mad, and called me all kinds Of
names, and said was no good on earth, and
would fetch up In States prison, and then
he wanted to borrow II TO wear TO the soci-
able. He said he would have more fun than
you could shake o stick at, and asked him
II he didn't think he would fetch up in
States prison, and he said It was different
with man. He said when man played q
joke there was q certain dignity about 1t that
was lacking In q boy. So lent II TO him 4,
and we all went to the sociable in the base.
ment of the church. ! never see pa more
kitteny than be was that night. He filed
the bulb with ice-water, and the first one he
got to smell of his button-hole bouquet was
an old maid. He began talking about what
o great work the Christian wimmen Of the
land were doing In educating the heather;
she felt real good, and then she noticed pas
posy In his button.hole, and she touched 1t,
and then reached over her beak to smell OF
IL. Pa he squeezed the bulb, and about hall
ateacupful Of water struck her right IN the
nose, and some Of II went into her mouth;
aud, oh, my! didn't she yell? The sisters
gathered around her, and they said her face
was all perspiratlon, aud the paint was COM
Ing of, and they took her In the kitchen, and
the wimmen told the minister and the dea
cons, and they went to pa for an explanation
and he told them II was not SO, and the min
lister got interested, and got near pa, and pa
let the water 60 at him, and hit him In thu
eye, aud then deacon got . dose, and pi
laughed, and the minister, who used TO 60 Il
college and be hazer and box, he got mad
and squared of and hit pa three times RICH
by the eye; and one Of the deacons he kicked
pa, and pa got mad, and said he could clear
out the whole shebang, and began to pull Of
his coat, when they bundled him out o
doors, and ma got mad to see pa abused, ant
she left the sociable, and I had to stay ant
eat Ice. cream and things for the whole family
Pa says that settles II with him. He say
they haven't got any more Christian charity
In that church than they have got In atannery
His eyes was just getting over being black
from the spsrring lessons, and now he ha
got to 60 through the oysters and beef steal
cure again. He says IL 10 oil owing TO me.