The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1883-02-10
UNCLE NOSE.

{ UNCLE NOSE.
: "GoOd morning, Uncle Nose"
: "How'dy, honey, how'dy."
"IIow are you today"
"Jes' tol'ble, misses, thank ye."
GLOW is Maum Lucy"
"She's to'ble, tol'ble."
C s"How are the children? ?"
"De chin, dey's tol'ble; mos OF 'em {
kind o poly. My oldest gal, Maria JOS
phine Genebra, she's got u pOw'iul misery
in her head, so she haint the lVastCst bit o.
: account to her ma. Seem like slIe CANT
do nothing servicible 'cept 10 wrOp up heI
' head and RrOaD."
Then Uncle Nose seats himself on the
lowest kitchen step with an air Of the deep
est humility.
, The yard Is like most in Georgia-hard
! trodden down sand underloOt, without II
! blade oil grals. The fix trees naked oil
leaves But the mRgnolias and cape jessa'
mines decked In GLOSSY green, Us though Il
! was midsummer. The kitchen is built
out in tue ySri. So from my high ground
on the back veranda have q commanding
view OF the situation.
The warm January sun climbs on Uncle
Moses gray head and brown wrinkled
face. Two white pigeons fly down and
peck round his feet. Al ogetheT the old
fellow and his surroundings makea picture.
But he has not an idea OF that lie doesn't
cafe for the picturesque. lie never heard
Of Burns Jones nor Whistler, and think
he would have had no respect for even
Oscar Wilde, had he met him. But II he
cares nothing for Rsthetirs he is a cOnnOi
seur Of pie. So Aunt Rosy, the cook,
brings him liberal allowance OF mince,
which he accepts with great warmth.
| notice. there il MI unusual stnArtnefs in
Uuce Moses dress, and round his battered
white hat IL tied rusty black ribbon.
There is an atmosphere Of cheerful grief
surrounding him, too. funeral JOllliy
that tells Of recent mOurniul occasion
that he has enjoyed to the fullest.
For TO the Southern negro funeral is
pleasurable event. 1t affords him OppOr.
tuniry Of display and noise. 1t is II time
when he can give full vent TO his emotional
nature, amid Sympathetic and inillm'
mable crowd. so, alter he has finished his
pie, and the pigeons are picking up the
crumbs, say:
"where was the funeral. Uncle MOse2'
"Ober 10 my house, chile" he replies,
with touch Of national pride.
"Why, who died, Uncle MOse?"
"Jes' de baby, MiSsus," lie answers, in a
deprecatory manner And think III his
heart Of hearts he Is sorry he could not
have made larger contribution 10 death.
"What was the matter with the little
thiug%
"Iiit died O. consecrated lie," he replies
with solemnity. look at him in amaze.
ment. Constcatt d lie! What kind Of lie
is that? II the Child had been an editor
or n politician, might have seen my way.
But as il is all Is dark. Uncle AlosG sees
my bewilderCd air and kindly explains:
abe same Us de ole woman uses when she
washes. lie swallowed il"
"Oh. Concentrated lye, you mean"
"Yes'm conseCraled lye. lie done tux
and drunk Il Cupiul."
"Poor little thing! How he have
suffered"
"Yes'm; reckon hit burned his inwards
right smart. But We mus all resign our.
selves 10 do Lord
II don't think the Lord had much to do
with anybody leaving I've around for a
baby TO drink," say irately.
Nom, dat's so. l used iotell de ole
woman she was mighty keerless bout dat
same I've. But she's dat hardheaded she
Amt gWine lO listen 10 what | sAys. Laws!
I'Ge slapped her jaws more'n once because
she won't do right"
Here interrupt him with few indig.
nant remarks relative TO his domestic dis
cipline, lie listens with All air OF the pro-
foundest respect, and when have finished
hesays:
"Y.sm, reckon dat's So reckon II amt
right for a man TO fall out with his wife.
| But TO- de Lord, AIissis, she's de aggrava-
finest niger dat ever numbered de yearth.
Bout dis vey same lie, now, as was tellin'
you. She UOuld wash de clothes out in de
de front yard SOS she could see who's
gwine 10 pass in de street Says l, Lucy,
| II amt tittin' for you to wash out heal,
says |. You take you tubs TO dc back
porch Gays /. An den you nebbe heard
a niger 90 on 50 disgmctiul. You triilin'
old darkey, you; I'll wash whar | pleases,'
saws she. AM you git out o. lIpah mighty
fas, now, or IN rap you head wild de mop!
| 1t hurt my ieelin's for Lucy 10 address me
so hash. An she's ve'y strongin her arms,
sides that. So says, "Dis ole hand is II
blossomipg 70 de grave, Lucy. amt
gwine 10 he heAh wild you much longer"
says /; an says she, 81 reckon you'll hang
on little while longer, an eat ny vittels
| Use washed and paid Tor" | saw hadn't
better argiiy wild Lucy jis den, so ! says
kind o easy, "lt any thing happens
Lucy, you bar mind | warned yc! An
den went out OF de front gate. Well, !
didn't feel like gwine home very early, so
l kind o waited round till my stummirk
felt like il was clean gone. Den | kind .
walked 10 de house like was it TO drop
from hard work. Oar was sight o women
on de front porch, an dey WAS jes gwine
on, acryin' and awhOopn' like it was big
mee,in'. Says |, whats all dis fuss
'bout2" An dat mint Lucy she cum bus.
tin tro de crowd. She jeS flung herself
roun' my neck and screetched out awful.
An den you never saw such n time as all
dem women bad, SIGH aCryin' and Rkickin'
and gwine on. Dey made so much noise
an disiusion, couldn't fine out de rights
OBJ de matter for some time. But when
foun' dat dc baby, po' Gerasmus Grant,
had killed hisself wild de conseCrated lye,
OF course | took on consid'able myself. !
was obliged 10 do 1t TO show dem women
had de ieelin's oh father. But | says to
my ole woman, Lucy, / done warned you,
chile an den she vent of in dead faint"
Here Uncle Nose rose and stood with
hat In hand. but mus say, Lucy amt
couduc,in' herself like decent Christian
woman since she come home from de Gem
etery. Course she went on nightly at de
grave, Dat was right; ! made u great
splay oil ieelin' myself. Dey could have
heard me boiler down lode corner. AMI
took three women TO hole Lucy. Bul
what l blames her for, Misses, Is de way
she's keepin' It up. THROWN herseliroun
an spilin' her best close! Hits sinful.
thought I'd talk TO her. Says /: Lucy
Use pwine to reason wild ye.' Says ]
'Youse m Ide fuss enough. Says i: Il
might d. TO 90 on dat way belo'e de war
when niggers was with something. But,
says /, "llttlu nigIen Is dat cheap an
plenty you can't give 'em away
We'se got nut lef. II keeps IL
scratchin' roun' to I'LL 30 NAM
mouis, anyway, an you knows, Lucy,
says "dat de minister rays We mus obeI
Ale will OBJ God Widout a murmur," sayS ]
An | was gwine 10 say heap mo-, u X
had de chance, but Lucy she riz up and hi
me Gin side dc head, an she says, say
she, "l'il smak so ole black jawsGly o' Civ
me any mo- sara" An den, MlSsis, | fel
dat tired an won out wild her dat l com
over heah. Think you kindly TO- dc pie
Misis. Pic isyery bracin' when maq !
suffering. Here Uncle Nose heaved
tremendous sigh. An Aunt Posy know
/, how 10 mix de gradients. ShedOfe. Goo,
y Y evenln' to you, honey" And, putting OIL
o his hat, Uncle Nose Shuillvs out Of the gate
al 49,. .r,ha oua,, cntar