Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1883-07-11
FEMININE FANCiES,


PAsTEUR, Of gernl-theorv fame. saws
il is dangerous to kiss any one who is
fasting. Moral-AIways treat your girl
to ice-cream early in the evening.
"No, my daughter didn't do nothing
at the exhibition; she amt much of a
scholar, you know; but everybody says
she was the best-dressed girl in her
| class. "-Bo8t0a Transcript.
How old does a single woman become
| before being considered an old maid 3
Clara. If homely and poor 81 years is
about the figure; If rich and handsome
l73 years is the imit.-Ehjla. NeaO8.
ADVICE to sweet girl graduates: Be.
fore reading your essay at commence
men6 go through it carefully and cross
out Is per cent. of the adjectives. You
can then pitch in and distinguish your
self.
PROFESSOR, to young lady student
Your mark is very low and you have
only just passed. Young lady-Oh, I
am so glad. Professor, urprised-Why?
Young LADY, do SO love a tight
squeeze.
A YOUNG lady was caressing g pretty
! spaniel and murmuring: g. do love a
NICE dog!" "Ahp' sighed . dandy,
standing near, &c would were dog"
Never mind, retorted the young lady,
sharply, "ycu'u grow. Georgia Ma
,jOT.
If the ordinary attire Of lady at a
fashionable ball is called "full dress"
we want to hide behind the parlor door
when she appears to semi-dress. That
is to say, we don't want t. exactly. but
it would spare our bushes if we did
| TIE Drummer.
ga .WoMAN's devilish deed " is the
heading of an article in an exchange.
We haven't read if, but we suspect that
the editors wife has been putting up a
new clothes-line, and that the editor mas
come home late at night and hung him
self up on it by the chin.
YOUNGER SISTER" Miss Jones told
US to-day in school that young people
who read Byron lose all their freshness.
Have we copy in the house, Mary %
Mary (doubtfully)-"Yes, Clara, why ?"
Cl9ra-'I want to read some to Tom be-
fore ne goes back TO college,"
A PIECE of her mind: 81 should like
to see Mrs. Smith, % said Mrs. Brownloe:
"pd give her a piece of my mind"
"Quite generous Of you, remarked her
friend; but perhaps she would never
find any more use for it than you have,
Mrs. Brownloe. "-Bo8t0ya Transcript.
In choosing a wife always select one
that will wash Whitehall Times. But
how are you to know until after you
wringer. The suggestion smack8 of sad
Take dry goods
clerk, for has she not been il the clothes
line. Will she not know how to hang
close and never leave you?
One of the incidents of our rapidly in
creasing civilization Is the decline of
ladies sewing circles. The explanation
appears to be that the newspapers so
eagerly appropriate and so extensively
discuss all items Of scandal that really
enterprising woman can't afford the time
to attend the meetinge.-Br00k{yn
Eagle
This touching little incident is from
the Rochester On. " Post. One rises
from its perusal with mixed feelings:
GA beautiful young girl was about to
be married to bachelor 20 years Of age,
! but very rich. On the eve of her mar
riage she learned that his wealth had
| been suddenly swept away, leaving him
a penniless old man. Did the noble
| girl desert him in this his hour Of trou-
BILE She did indeed, and her parents
helped her, too. %
Mrs L1vEBMoRE told an amusing
story at the club lunch of the daughter
of Stephen and Abbey Kelley Foster.
When she was taught the Lords prayer
as little girl, she went along swim
mingly with it until she came to the
| g. A =.
she astonished everybody by saying g a
woman" On being demonstrated with.
| she said, ''Of course I shan't say A
man I'm little Woman's rights girl,
and must say a woman. :"
A YOUNG lady, whose name we with
hold, writes to say that il is very strange
that an animal may hear people speak
| language from the time it IS born, and
yet never understand q word Of it; while
a child, who is born entirely ignorant of
single word Of its meaning, learns the
whole language Of which that word is a
member. We do not think it at all
strange, because q duckling who is
Matched out without any idea of aquat-
les can swim half mile the first time it
goes in the water, while some men.
| born with the same Ignorance, can new
er be taught to swim stroke.-Puck.
GA WOMAN won the literary essay
prize at Vanderbilt University over 121
rivals, and they were all males" Well,
what OF it? It only shows that the spir-
it of gallantry still inhabits the male bo-
som. If any of those 121 and more fell
lows should have stood up against one
lone woman, and robbed herof the prize,
he would be enough sight meaner than
he ought to be. But, supposing there
had been over 121 female rivals to one
male, what kind of a chance would he
have had ? Do you think the women
would have given him any chance that
he didn't fight for and WIN by hard
work? No, sir, not by q large major
ity.