Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1883-09-06
VERY QUEER, INDEED.

We were reading in an exchange the
other day OF the marriage OF a woman
in England who was born without
arms, but who can use her toes with
remarkable dexterity. She can sew,
knit, crochet, use a knife and fork and
scratch her head with her toes with as
much ease as most fortunate mortals
can with their fingers.
After reading the article we leaned
back in our easy chair, closed our
eyes and allowed our thoughts to go
off on an excursion across the water.
We followed that girl from the day
when she first shared beau until her
marriage, and some of the mental pic
tures we drew were indeed queer ones
When her lover would call of course
she must receive him as other ladies
would and just imagine. how odd it
would be to see her reaching up her
foot, taking his hat between her toes
placing it upon the table and motion
ing him to a seat. She would sit by
T his side talking all the little nonsensi
cal nothings that lovers usually talk,
ever and anon slapping him lovingly
on the cheek with the sole of her foot
when lie would get off some joke at
hor expense. She spies hair on his
collar, and with n deXterity closely
bordering on the marvellous. reaching
up with witching grace, takes il in her
toes and casts il away. We can see
: her sitting there with her foot in his
q hand responding to his tender squeezes,
] or coyly toying with his whiskers with
her taper toes Mayhap lie may hint
+ that he doubts her conrancy, when
4 with an injured look upon her face
:. She puts her foot upon her heart and
n assures hm that it beats only for him,
n that ar every pulsation the bounding
+ blood mur1nurs his beloved name
: Then lie smiles, takes the beloved foot
in his hand. kisses it foEdly and MS
,ures her that he was but jesting and
that he would as soon doubt the pun
Is OF babe as to doubt her love. his
neclitie becomes loosSncd how grace
fully she would tie it with both feet.
tapping tie to neatly down with big
toe when the job is completed w
can picture her screaming with laugh
!. TER AMI cIdpping her feet in gIee over
=, some funny story, or w!ring awny
the unbiddcn tear Wi'h her toes a. \
recital Of want and suffering Wher
about TO | AFT lie would Kiss her anC
ask her for just one loving embrace,
and with the light OF love beaming in
her eyes she woull but no that is on;
g of the question. We forgot for the
moment her unfortunate condition.
- He would haye to do ali the embrac
ing himself sh, would hand him his
!, hat, escor; him to the door, give hin
good night shake of the foot and
!, chen sit down 10y the fire and draw 4
beautiful picture of the day when he
would fall upon his knees before hei
d; and ask her for her foot and heart
Then she would retire TO her chamber
undress, sit doNn en- the iioor al,
bury her face in hsr feet and say he
=, prayers as all good girls should and e
10 bed to dream of II future frcscoeC
=, with bliss and dadoed with suprem,
happiness.
And the marriage ceremony! g.
course the bride could not enter lean
ing upon the arm of the groom as il
customary, for it would he rathe
unique and odd to see her hopping il
on one foot, and she III light attract un
- due attention. They approach tn
~ altar and the ceremony begins. Wher
~ right hands are usually joined sh
~ must give him her right foot, and Il
:" the words with this ring / thee we'd,
the peculiar circumstances of the cas-
Go would compel him to place the COLDER
" band of love upon on of her toes, O
course it would tickle her and ST.
- might finch and wiggle her pearl
lOtS, DuI llllS DeeNl cause DO stIiOl
" hitch in the proceedings. After tn
-, ~ ceremony friends would crowd up an
'' shake her foot and rain down bless
~ ings and kind wishes upon her heat
- and under propitious skies they woul
i' set forth together upon the journey {
life, foot in hand.
And if tn. union should be blesse
f. with children how exhilarating
would be to see her spank an obstinat
Dill youngster She would snatch him u
10 with her toes, lay him across her KIN,
me and whack the holy delights out
oil him with the sole of her foot. The
nr she would release him, shake her Il
III at him sternly, and tell him that
II ever he disobcys her again she W
all make him think he has been sitting
"o- a hot stove lid As to kneading douy
'od for the morning biscuits--well, '
TED will drop the curtain OF curiosity ai
lu- pursue her no further. just let yo
OPP Imagination take up the thread whe
ne we drop it. dear reader, and you W
pie, have bushel Of fun. Imagine Il
O1 dninor tha s.orap1 riolt np,t laft. "a