Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1883-06-14
The Monkey Barber Again.

|. |
N. Y. Sun.
: "Hello, young veller," said the MOI
key Barber in the shop near the Coop'
Institute, 81 peen der poss here nov
Der oft man has got a broken chaw..
"How on earth did he break ftp"
"Oh, it vosn't NIT himselluf he proI
it. II he could done dot he voul
long ago hat proken it dalking. Dc
Olt man vas dalking like he Away
done, choost as if his tongue vos dry
ing to make n fool of his prains
Dot vos der afternoon packworks @
lasd Duesday. He mate chokes apou
der garbenders und such dings. Bres
emily der lasG gusdimer-a fearful phi
Irishman--got into der shair me un,
der poss der mittle pedweeD.
"'Oi say, barber, he hat sayt, 'you,v
a way av spakin' yer moind right out
so We have"
"T chenerally speak blain Inglish,
der poss hat sayt.
"'Oi wud loike fer ter git yer opin
ion on the tailors.'
"'So-o.op sayt der poss, as simple a.
pilly goat drilling NIT package Of
dynamite; Il can some pully chokes re.
memper apowd der dailors. We used
to say by Chermany, goot, healdthy
dailor ought to weigh ninedeen bounds,
und should not peen avraid to vent
ovid on windy day Without daking
his goose along to keep him from
blowing away
Cant you think av DER anudther
joke upon the tailors?'
"'Vell, yes, der poss hat say, der
used to peen n sdory Of vonce upon a
dime ven der dailors all used to sit der
mittle of de floor und work, but Won
morning Il shdupid sertant girl swept Won
of en- into dust ban und vlung him
der ash parrel inside, we're he vos sufio-
gated. Sine dot dime der dailors hat
sat always der dop of dable. ovid of
der way of der prooms.
"'Well, sorr,' der pig Irishman sayt
i'm voice more louder as der dootng
of logomotif, me name is McNulty,
the Bowery tailor, an whin you git trOo
Shawn me Oi intend fer ter knock tn
everlasting Daylight out av We. and
Oill give yez notice yer can sind out fer
all duther Dootchmin yez can foind, an
Oi'n polish the whole av 'em to the
Quane's taste, so Oh will
''Vell, dot vos frightful De poss, he
drembled like der cracks of der dictated
railrote, und he had sayt to me in Wis
per, 'Chaky. my poy, hat put der dwo
of mine feet in it dot dime. Amid you
sorry for der old man?' | Dressed his
liant in silence mitout speaking Won
word"
can mark moi wurruds,' sayt dot
gusdimer, IF YOU lave the sign nv a
scratch on me face wild yer rezor, yer
jaw-twisting, lathering, haythen divil,
Orll lick yez fust an make yez shave me
afther.'
'Chaky,' der poss vispered, Il wish
you could dihk of vot der defill | shall
done
= Theirs been altergither tew much
Dutch goin' on in the sity, dot Irishman
sayt. It's got fer ter be n-yuisance
an it's got fer ter be reggerlatid.
49, Shall make myselluff der pleasure
TO put on your het q leedle oil, sirP' der
poss sayt, choost rs bolite as if he vos
speaking to some lady owitsite of his
wife.
Yell put lie on me head, an the
Dist yez have. an plenty af it,. an You'll
i'up me hair in the Fifth avenoo stoyle,
wild bangs an dashboords foreninst me
ears, an n pa-art behoind, an Loo-ey
Boney- pa-art waxt inds to me musstash;
IN bay rum, an powdher, an allim
an pomaytum, an all NV the
DIST, that Oh may lux foine, whoi'st Dim
ifther payin' yez for yer blab wild me
chew fists an fate. Dye MONT that,
ye g-yarlic-stuflin'. lmburgcr-devyurin'
Daboon.'
'Chaky," der poss vispered, vent
right away ovid and COLLIER boleeceman
vich will safe der bote of our lifes Get
IN Irish boleeceman. Chakey; dem haf
rot der science of der boleece peeziness
Town finer, und dem get to work more
ywicker as der Chermans vons.'
Well, to make shortness ovid of
ong sdory, L vend und didn't find boz
eeceman insite of dwo miles, und ven
got pack yer oft man vos hanging
iroo der pack vinder sash. his der shop
nsite und his head in der pack yard.
He will peen sick more as a mondth."
just as the reporter finished brushing
his coat the proprietor ran briskly down
he steps into the shop showing not a
ign of the i'll treatment he was creditee
With having received.
Spy chiminy! You are quick ovid"
'aid the assistant, and dashed up the
stairs.
"Gwick ovid" said the proprietor, 81
lobe dot monkey parber has not been
edding HIMSELF. from his imatchinatioD
Dose. Der only dings Ipeen gwick ovid
IF is fecfdy cents | choOs. lost insite of
eweenty minutes Ply penuckle in der sa-
loon der street ACROSS.