Daily Los Angeles herald., 1883-11-07
A ABRACEOF HUMBUGS.
By c. q.

For some time past Mrs. Pau
lima Livingston has bestowed
upon the boarding house in which
I reside the inestimabls boon OF
her presence. Mrs. Livingston
was introduced at our establish
ment as a gay, dashing widow OF
forty Ave, wealthy, still charming,
by no means frightened at the re-
suit OF two matrimonial specula-
tions, quite ready to enter into
third whenever 0 first-rate op-
portunity offered.
She came, she saw, but unfor-
tunately she found nobody to
conquer. Here is an extract from
= private letter to one OF
Mrs. Llvingston's correspondents,
which, as the newspaper folks
say, I have, as o great favor,
been permitted to copy:
II am charmed by the situa-
ton OF my new boarding place.
The house is well kert, the table
excellent and the landlady oblig-
ing. But it's lonely place, after
all--nobody but a few married
people, regular turtle-doves, too
tame for either Irritation or jeal-
ousy; q widow or two, three boys
Of nineteen or twenty, and that
old maid, Catty B.. who is al
ways going about to societies and
places. I didn't know how to
manage Of fret; but I go out
every day, and. just to keep my
hand in, I Airt mildly with Mon
sieur F. when he comes every day
to dress my wig and give me a
shock or two OF electricity that I
take to make my eyes bright
You know. my dear creature, I
tell you all my secrets, SO I may
speak Of these things, as we'll as
Of my false teeth, and the plump
srs in my cheeks that make me
look so youthfsl. But you know,
thou gh thecensorious will perhaps
not believe it, that / never use
either rouge or pearl powder. my
complexion being sufficiently
good without their aid. just now
/ am putting in array all the
artillery / have at command.
The Rev. DR.. Honeywell has re-
Gently arrived. He brought a
letter OF introduction to
Catty B. from some branch socie-
ty or other. in the West, and.
finding there were vacant rooms
here, concluded to take up his
abode with us. He is q splendid
looking man; the very tie OF that
lovely white ueckcloth OF his is as
good as a sermon; and then, to
think--he is Doctor Of Divinity |
q widower without childrenl and
pastor OF one Of those rich West
ern city churches, where the min
lister is 90 petted and pampered |!
/ think he'll do. l shall try, at
my rate, though l fear I shall
not be able to appear as devout
as he would expect his wife to be.
OF course he is greatly interest
cd in the objects, whatever they
may be, that Catty b. is always
raising heaven and earth to ac-
complish. He says she is o mo-
bic woman, SO energetic, so self
sacrificing, and would make a
most excellent clergymsn's wife
IL she had not lived single so long
az to acquire certain fixed habits
and modes Of thought and action
that might come in conflict with
his and his peoples. and thus
produce parish difficulties. From
which, though he has only been
three days in the house, our host
sss infers that he has already Of
fered himself to Catty, and been
refused. shall make it my task
to bind up the wounds his amia-
BILE heart must have received, as
soon as cau find out from Catty
b. Just where he comes from, and
who he is.
It is not necessary for me to
state whether the conjecture given
above, in relation to DR.. Honey
we'll and ms self, was true or not.
But on the day following that on
which this letter was written, l
had the pleasure OF giving Mrs.
Livingston all the information /
possessed in relation to the rev.
eiend gentleman whom I already
regarded as an insuherable bore,
and more than suspected to be a
humbug, though the letter he
brought me seemed to prove that
he was not an imposter. This
letter / showed to Mrs. Livings-
ton. il being from the secretary