Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1883-05-13
All Broke Up After Kissing His
Sweetheart.
HE GETS THE OLD MAN IN TROUBLE,
As Usual, and Makes a Sign Painter Of
Himself for the Beaeft Of His
Fayorite Corner Grocery
Friend.
Peck,s Snn Of Yesterday saws

dropped OeT pllCuSE anu NSAt OHt u bAS
grocery as though she was chased by an
anaconda.
Il am going to lead different life, but
a boy can't change his whole course OF life
in q minute. can he? Grown persons have
to go or probation for six months before
they can lead different life, and half the
time they lose their cud before the SIX
months expire, and have TO commence
again. When il is 50 alfred hard for man
that is endowed with sense, to break oil
Aeing bad. you shouldn't expect
Too Much From Boy.
But am dong as well as could be expect
ed | amt half rs bad as | was. Gosh why
don't Won Ourn RAJ. That yeast that the
girl spilled on the floor, smells like it was
sick. Ishould think that bread that was
raised with that yeast would smell like
this cooking butter you sell to hired
girls.
We'll never you mind the cooking
butter know my business. Ii people
want TO use poor butter when they have
company. and then blow up the grocer
before folks, | can stand Il If they can.
But what is this | hear about your pa
lighting duel with the minister IN your
back yard, and wOundiDg him IN the leg,
and then trying to drown himself in the
cistern? One OF your neighhnrS was
wss
MurdCr i'm the AR
at YOUR house last night, and they were go
ing to have the police pail Your place as q
d;SOrderly house, | think you were at the
bottom Of the whole business.
80, it's all darn liz" and those neigh
bOrs will lind they better keep still about
U.S. or we will lie about them a little. You
see, since pa got that backing on his face
he don't 20 out any, and TO make it pleas
ant for him ma invited IN few friends to
spend the evening Ma has got up around,
and the BABY Is a daisy, only il smells like
goat, on account OF drinking the goats
milk. Ma invited the minister, among the
rest. and alter supper the men went up
into pas library 10 talk. o. you think
am bad. don { you, bur of the nine men at
our house last night, | am an angel COM
pared with what they were when they
were boys. | got in the
Bath Room TO Gntangle Nv Fish Line
and il is next 10 pas room, aud [ could
hear everything they said, but went away
cause thought the conversation would
hurt my morals. They would all steal,
when they were boys, out darned il ever
stole. Ia has stole over hundred wagon
loads OF water melons, one deacon used to
rob orchards. another one shot tame ducks
belonging TO a farmer, and another tipped
over grindstOneS in front OF the village
store. at night, and broke them, and run,
another used 10 steal eggs, and 90 out III
the woods and boil them, and the minister
was the worst of the lot, cause he took
seine, with some other boys, and Went 20 4
stream where q neighbOr was raising brook
trout, and cleaned the stream OUT. and To
ward OIL suspicion, he went TO the man the
next day and paid him dollar to let him
fish in the stream. and then
Kicked Because There Were No Trout.
and the owner found the trout were stolen
and laid il To some Dutch boys. | wonder.
ed. when those men were telling their eX-
perience, if they ever thought of il now
when they were preaching and praying,
and taking up collections. | should think
they wouldn't say i boy was going 70 hell
right OIL cause he was q little wild now
days, when he has such an example. Well,
lately, somebody has been Ourgling our
chicken coop. and pa loaded an old musket
with rock salt, and said he would ill the
fellow full Of salt il he caught him, and
while they were talking up stairs ma heard
a rooster SqUawk, aud she went Io the stair
way and told IA there was somebody il the
hen house. Pa jumped UP and told the
visitors to follow him, and they would see
n man running do Yn the alley. full OF salt,
aud he rushed out with the gun, and the
crowd followed him. Pa is shorter than
the rest, and he passed under the lirst
Wire Clothes Line In the Yard
all right. and was going for the hen house
on lump. when his neck caught the sec.
Ond wire clothes line Just as the minister
and two OF the deaCOns caught their ncCES
under the other wire. You know how a
wiIe, hitting a man on the throat. will set
HIM back, head over appetite. Well. sir, |
hr,,l Lon Il
wouldn't be positive, but | think they all
turned double back sUmmerSaults, and
struck OF their cans. Anyway, pa did, and
the gun must have been cooked. or it
struck the hammer ON stone, for 10 went
of, and il was pointed toward the house,
and three OF the visitors got Sllted. The
minister was hit the worst one piece of salt
taking him in the hind leg and the other
in the back. and he yelled rs though Il was
dynamite. ] suppose when you shoot 4
man with salt IL smsrts, like when you
get Corned heef b-imc on your hands.
They all yelled, and pa seemed -
Have been Knocked SiIIy.
some way, for he prauced around and
seemed TO think he had killed them He
swore at the WIRE clothes line, and then
missed pa and heard 4 splash like when
you throw cat in the river and then
and took pa by the collar and pulled him
out y. he was awful damp. No sir. il
was no duel at all, but an aXident. and
didn't have anything to do with il. The
gun wasn't loaded to kill, and the salt only
went through the skin, but those men did
yell. May be il was my Chum that stirred
up the chickens, but | don't know. He
has not commenced to lead different life
yet. and he might think il would make our
folks sick if nothing occurred to make
them pay attention. | think where a fam
lily has been having good deal of exercise,
the way ours has, it hurts them to break
off suddenly. But the visitors went home
real quick, after we got pa out OF the Cis-
tern, and the minister told pa he always
felt when he was in our house as though
he was on the verge OF
YAWning Crater,
ready to be engulfed any minute, and he
guessed he wouldn't be back any more
Pa changed his clothes and told ma to have
them wire clothes lines changed for rope
ones. l think it is hard to suit pa, don't
you
"Oh, your pa is all right. What he need:
is rest. But why are you not working a
the livery stable2 You haven't been dis
charged have your And the grocerymar
laid little lump OF concentrated I've, tia
looked like maple sugar, on cake of sugal
that had been broken, knowing that the
boy would nibble il.
"No, sir, was not discharged, but wher
a livery man lends me a kicking horse Il
take my girl out riding that settles it.
asked the boss il couldn't have a quiet
horse that would drive hisself il wouuG
the lines around the whip, and be let M,
have one be said would go all day withou
driving You know how it is, when Eel
low takes his girl out riding he don't wan
his
Mind Occupied Holding Lines.
Well, got my girl in, and We went out OF
the White. fish Bay road. and ID was jus
before dark, and we rode along under tn,
trees, and ] wound the lines around tn
whip and mt one arm around my girl aNC