Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-12-13
Mr.. Jones Has an Evening at Home.

Mr.. Jones has an Evening at Home.
''Maria," said Mr.. Jones, as he sat
and enjoyed an evening at home-be-
cause he had no place else to go-''it
seems to me that on suspicious occa-
sion like this"-and he looked fondly
at her-F'as if heaven and home were
anonymous terms
"Sin-onomous, corrected Mrs. Jones
taking several pins and a ball of Irvine
out of her mouth and placing a patch
on that part of Willie's pants where it
would do the most good. "Jephtha,
why don't you read aloud evenings, in
stead of keeping all the good things to
| yourself?"
SIS reading allowed?" asked Jones,
innocently. Il thought you preferred
| to talk"
''WeI, [ do, snapped Mrs. J.,..'when
[ have somebody to talk to, which isn't
very often. -"
IN read" exclaimed Jones, hur-
riedly reversing the book he held in
his hand-'An it came to pass
''Save that for Sunday" interrupted
Mrs. Jones. "Read some sweet thing
about home, or the friends; some poet
ry. | love to hear you read poetry,
Jephtha," with sly wink at nobody.
| Thus encouraged, Jones, who is an
amateur elOcutionist and has fired the
neighborhood with his dramatic read
/ ings in times past, till the neighbors
/ threatened to fire him, seized Il volume
/ Of poetry and, in the voice that made
| ''Frcedom shrek when KOsciusco fell, "
read aloud that touching poem begin
ming:
(which shall it be, which shall it be?
! looked at John-John looked ut me-
There was silence which could have
been felt with rolling-pin when Jones
ceased to read, and wiped the foam
fecks from his pallid lips, and Maria
was in tears.
II know you've Weakened the boys"
she said, in voice that sounded small
and still after his, land they'll want a
drink"
The childrenr' murmured Jones,
with fixed eyes, 1.-The dear, sweet child
rem! M-M-Maria, do we 'preciatc these
dear ones as we ought TOP"
Il dc" said Mrs. Jones, shortly. Il
hear them talking now-where's my
slippery I'Ta ,,..,. ,..., r..o. ,,.,.o
soul was melted within him by his eff
forts in the line of elocution, Il will
90 and see if the innocent darlings need
anything" And he went up stairs soft
", repeating with Salvini-Rossi-BoOt
effect:
which shall it be, which shall it be?
! looked at john Ohm looked at me-"
The innocent darlings' heard him
coming, and dcsisting from a pillow
fight III which they were engaged, they
buried their heads in the sheets and
were instantly sound asleep, looking
like dimpled cherubs, with an Occa-
sional snOre to assert their relation to
the human. Jones wiped the salt tears
Of love and elocutiOn from his eyes,
and bent fondly over them; then he
crept out and waited moment in the
hall to listen to their gentle breathing;
suddenly it ceased.
lis the old man gomez" were the
words of Cherub No. l, as soon as he
got the sheet out of his mouth.
Yes" answered Cherub No. 2, she
was a-crying, Willie. Amt he a duffer,
thought"
IN strike him for five cents to-mor-
row; see if | don't"
''Oh, he'll be himself again to-mor-
row, Willie; he'll stamp around and say,
Get out of my way, little imps, just
as he allus does. l don't take no stock
in him, don't "
Lets play we was pa suggested
Willie. where's them boys? III teach
them to touch my paper! III tan their
hides for 'em! III show 'em who's the
master in this houser'
When Jones got back to the sitting
room his face was red-very red-and
his eyes wore vengeful glare. Mrs.
in, and asked innocently:
"Switch shall it be, switch shall
it be?"
''Bothr' shouted the enraged parent.
''Of all the unruly brats | ever saw,
do think, Maria, ours are the worst