The Dickinson press., 1883-07-21
LIFE ON THE MISSISSIPPI.
A Racy sketch from Mark Twaln's
--latest Book.

ARacy sketch from Mark Twaln's
latest Book.
Perhaps the best representative pas.
age that could be selected,-since it
shows its authors faculties of observa-
ton and statement, and his command Of
satirical phraseology, together with his
characteristic mood of banter and chat,
is the %subjoined account of the homes
of the wealthy citizens of the West be-
tween New Orleans and st Louis.
Every town and village along that
vast stretch of double river frontage has
a best dwelling, finest dwelling, man.
sion,-the home of its wealthiest and
most conspicuous citizen. It is easy to
describe it; large grassy yard, with pal
ing fence painted white-in fair repair;
brick walk from gate to door; big,
ed white, and porticoed like a Grecian
temple-with this difference, that the
imposing futed columns and Corinthian
capitals were a pathetic sham, being
made of white pine and painted; iron
knocker; brass door knob-discol-
ored, for lack of polishing. Within,
an unexpected hall, of plared boards;
opening out of it a parlor, fifteen feet
by fifteen-in some instances five or ten
feet larger; ingram carpet: mahohany
centre table; lamp on it, with green.pa-
per understanding on a gridiorn, so to
speak, made of high colored yarns, by
the young ladies' of the house, and called
a lamp-mat; several books, piled and
disposed, with cast-iron exactness, ac-
cording to an inherited and u%nchange-
able plan; among them, Upper, much
pencilled: also ~"Friendship's Offering"
and "Atfertion's WREATH" with their
sappN .inanities illustrated in die-away
mezzotints; also. Ossian; "Alonzo and
Melissa maybe 'lvanhoe;'also "Album''
full Of original 'poetry" OF the Thou
hast wounded-tne-spir that loved-thee
breed; two or three Ggoody works
current number of the chaste and in
nocuous Godey's "Lady's Book" with
painted fashion-plate of wax-fgured wo.
men with mouths all alike-lips and eye
lids the same size-each 6ve.foot wo.
man with a two-inch wedge sticking from
half Of her foot. Polished air-tight stove
passing through a board which closes up
the discarded good old fireplace. On
each end of the wooden mantel, over
the fireplace, a large basket Of peaches
and other fruits, natural size, all
done in plaster, rudely, or in wax,
and painted to resemble the
originals-which they don't. Over mid
die Of mantel, OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Crossing the Delaware; on the wall by
the door, copy Oft done in thunder-and
lightning crewels by one of the young
ladies-work Of art which would have
made Washington hesitate about cross
ing, if he could have ioreseen what adj
vantage was going to be taken of it.
P~iano-kettle in disguise-with music,
bound and unbound, piled OH it, and on
a stand near by: Battle of Prague; Bird
Waltz Arkansas Traveller; Resin the
Bow; Marseilles Hymn; On a Lone Bar
rem Isle (St. Helena); The Last Link Is
Broken: She Wore a Wreath of Rosel
the Night when Last we Met, Go, For
get Me, Why should Sorrow DER that
Brow a Shadow Fling; Hours there were
to Memory Dearer; Long, Long, Ago;
DAYS of Absence; A Life on the Ocean
Wave, A Home on the Rolling Deep,
Bird at Sea; and spread open on the
rack, where the piaintiye singer has left
it, Ro-holl on, silver moo-hoon, guide the
traveller his way, etc. Tilted pc nsive-
ly against the piano, a gnitar-gnitar
go. by itself if you give it a start, Fran.
tic work of arton the %wall-pious motto,
done on the premises, sometimes in
co!ored yarns, sometimes in faded gras.
ses-progenitor of the "God Bless our
Home" Of modern commerce. Framed
in black mouldings on the
wall. other works of ar
conceived and committed on the premi-
SEES, by the young ladies'; being grim
black-and-white crayonsi landscapes,
mostly: lake, solitary sail-boat, petrifed
clouds, Psychological trees on shore,
anthracite precipice; name of criminal
conspicuous in the corner. Lithograph,
Napoleon crossing the Alps, Lithograph
The Grave at St. Helena. S%teelplates
Trumbull's Battle of Bunker Hill, and
the Sally from Gibraiter, Copperplates
Moses Shifting the Rock, and Return o
the Prodigal Son. In big gilt frame
SANDER of the family, in oil; papa hold
ing a book ("Constitntion of the United
States'D; guitar leaning against mamma
blue ribbons futtering from it's neck; the
young ladies, s%children, in slippers ane
scalloped pantalettes, II embracing toy
horse, the other beguiling kitten with
ball of yarn, and both simpering up a
mamma, who shippers back. These per
sons all fresh raw and red-apparently
skinned. Opposite in gilt frame, grand.
pa and grandma, at thirty and twenty.
two. stiff, III -fashioned, high-collared
puff-sleeved, glaring pallidly out from :
background Of solid Egyptian night
bouquet Of stiff flowers done in corpse
n,hifo NOV puro poiSol ubof-nof in fh<
corner, the shelves occupied chiefly
with bric-a-brac of the pc
Rod, disposed with an eyt
to best effect. shill, with the Lord
Prayer carved on it; another shell-o
the l%ong-oyal sort, narrow, straight or
ifce, three inches long, running. from
end to end-portrait of Washington
carved on it; not we'll done the she'll hae
Washington's mouth originally-artis
should have built to that. These tw1
are memorials of the long-ago brida
trip to New-Orleans and the Frencl
Market. Other bric-a-brac; Californian
'specimens"-quartz, with gold warta d
herring; old Guinea-gold locket, with cir
Gle of ancestral hair in it; Indian arrow
heads, of flint; pair of bead moccasins
from uncle who crossed the Plains
. three "alum" baskets of various colors-
\ being skeleton-frame of wire. clothed-ol
! with cubes of crystallized alum in tn
: rock-candv style-works of art which
were achieved by the ladies'; their doub
les and duplicates to be found upon al
what-nots in the land; convention o
desiccated bugs and butterflies pinne'
TO- card; painted toy.dog, seated upo,
Observation-Disclosures its unde
jaw and squeaks when pressed upon
sugar candy rabb;ts-limbs and feat
ures merged together, not strongly de
fined; pewter presidential-campaig'