Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-08-13


as 1t will eventually.
4 Sore Foot.
From the brooklyn Eagle
my dear whinperedt Mr.. Spoop
endyke, hnbbling into his wife's
room and throwing himself into a
char with dtsolate expression of de-
SPAR on his vi-oge. My dear, there
is something the matter with my foot,
and can't make out what the trouble
ISL
~ know exclaimed Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke, hcveiiug over him with afiec-
iionate interest and solicitude. II
think it's rheumatism
"No IL amt rheumatism, either!'
growled Mr.. Spoopendyke. at is
something worse than rheumatism and
If ii goes to nay heart it may kill metz
May be III stone bruise,p sugges-
ted Mrs. Spoopendyke, not realizing
that great deal of the sentiment and
most OF the danger are taken out Of a
malady when it is deiinit.y ascertain
cd what the malady IL. "All you
want il some liuimeut and you will be
all right by to morrow
"That's all sou know about it, 'grunt-
ed Mr.. Spoopendyke,who was not to be
put oil with so smalla disaster as a
stone-brtlise. II tell you / have got
some trouble with my foot that threat.
ems my life, and YOU stand around
there like Il cork IN bottle and tall,
about II ms though hadn't got one leg
into my coffin as far as the hip. Here
| am kicking ut deaths door with Il
game foot, and all the interest YOU
have in the matter Is To shoot ofia vast
amount Of intelligence about stone
bruises. | tell ye, it's something that
amt to be tritlcd with. Now, what're
YOU going to do about it?'
Are you sure il isn't a corn ?" haz-
arded Mrs. Spoopendyke, timidly.
Sometime corns hurt worse than
anything else; but | never heard of
people dying Of them.n
mo ii irii't Il corn ~ howled Mr..
sSpoopendyke, nuising his foot and
glaring AZ lis wife with mingled ex-
preston of rage and pain. What
dye think this foot II, anyway AN
agricultural district? Did YOU ever
hear OF Il corn that reached from the
heel TO the knee? Which OF your
friends ever had corn that hurt clear
to the ear" and Mr.. Spoopendyke
touched his foot carefully to the floor
and eyed his wife narrowly to see il
she noticed the expression of agony on
his face.
III 1T acts that way it must be a
bunion Exclaimed Mrs. Spoopendyke.
trlumphantly. "All you have got to
DO is take your boot off and put your
slippers on"
THAT'S it, yelled Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, hauling of his shoe and firing it,
across the room. "When Il man is diving
OF inflammatory rheumatism, it's only
n bunion You We got it a pain that
starts ut the toe, runs to the back of the
neck and ties in hard knot over
the spine is a bunion ! Show me the
bunion ~ he continued, sticking his
leg out straight and pointing his flu
ger ~ the offending foot. Take the
digit in your lily white hand and
place it tenderly on the dod-gasted
bunion before | die and forget what
killed ne Pick it out of the sur
rounding anatomy ~ he yelled, wrig-
ling his foot and bouncing up aud
down in his chair in delirium of
rage. PLUCK the bunion from its
mountain fastness ON the hoof of
Sp"opendyke aud hold it up to the
gaze of the samen
Does it hurt ," commenced Mrs.
! Spoopendyke, soothinglv.
'Hurtn roared Mr.. Spoopendyke,
springing from his chair and dancing
around thereon Ikea flea. "Of course
IL don't. 1t ticlSles Hurt It's a
! picnic! Say, my DEAR and his voice
was low and tender. ''Say, my dear,
instead of going in the country this
summer We'll lay in a stock.of bunions
and wear 'em around for our health
and recreation.p Hurt ~ he shrek
ed breaking oat in new
spot. Hurt! IL feels like band OF
music! That's what it is, u bunion. 1t
took you to hit IT, when get time t.
! iii you up with Ii full beard and Il bot
tie of whisky I'm going TO start "A dis
| pensary with you. If you'd only i'm.
prove your mind until you reached the
standard of Intelligence of moderate
donkey you'd only reed a stolen corpse
and bad smell TO be tilst.class med
zeal college"
Say, dear, observed Mrs. Spoopen
dyke, who had been carefully explor
ing her husbands boot, "say dear,
think have found out what the trou
bic Is. 1t isn't bunion after all
Here's Il peg sticking out there about
a quarter OF an inch. lfyou will have
that taken out don't believe you viii
suffer any more
Mr.. Spoopendyke damned his hal
eyes, showed his feet into his slippers
grabbed the obnoxious boot, aud star
ted for the door with n whitening looi
at his wife as he went out.
~ don't care nurmured Mrs. Spoo,
pendyke, ~ the front door slammed
v!ndietive!yi II don't care. he ha,
It taken out, he has TO admit was
right, and If he doesn't il will hurt
HIM anti he dies. / don't know
! which will be the worse for him, but
he will have to do one or the other,
, And with this browning triumph still
in her mind Mrs. Spoopendyke began
10 scare the flies out of the room with
q sheet, wondering why lily who has
been half smashed against one win
dow-irame will insist on coming in al
The other window to be smashed over
again.