davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29
PUNCTUATED JOKES.

If brevity is the soul of wit, how is
this Wheeling Journal.
1t is without H.-Ne,o York Enter
prise.
Do you expect anybody to that
PHILADELPHIA Sunday Mirror.
Those are the worst jokes of the =
Washington Post.
My < x! you're pointed as +, aren't
you? Burlington Enterprise.
We y the opportunity to say that
these are real !? ?? ? you fellows pro-
pound. Gold.
Well, they offer us a Sous sort OF
amusement at best, and = our spirits
greatly Elevated Railway Journal.
If you were in this 5 of country we
would grasp your -. -Meriden Re
corder.
An editor is an his reputation with
such puns.-Welconle.
Much ado about O.-Detroit Free
Press
We should remark. We would like
to E such punsters. We can hardly
Withhold wicked ! When we all get
to the hot place we'll apply for the job
to put the to roast you fellows
Northwestern Mining journal.
That is IL fact.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29

50 alie rat went to the COW ana sa1u,
humbly, . Please, COW, give me milk
I give cak milk; cat give me back my
great long tail again"
s'I'u give you some milk" said the
cow, ''if you'n go to the barn and gel
ne some hay"
Then the rat went to the barn and
said, 90 Tease, barn. give me some hay.
[ give COW hay; COW give me milk !; 1
give cat milk; cat give me back my
great long sdl again."
The barn said, "I'l give you some
hay If you'll go to the tree and get me
door,"
So the rat went to the tree and said,
"Please, tree, give me door; I give
barn door; barn give me hay; I give
COW hay COW give me milk I give cal
milk; cat give me back my great long
tail again."
The tree said, "I'll give you a doc,
if you'll go to the brook and get NE
some water.
Then the rat went to the brook and
said, "Piease, brook, give me water.
7 give tree water, tree give me door.
give barn door. Barn give me hay. ]
give COW hay. Cow give me milk.
give cat milk. Cat give me back my great
long tail again"
The brook was generous and kind, and
gave the rat some water. He carried il
to the tree, and the tree gave him a door.
He carried the door to the barn, and
the barn gave him some hay. He car.
ried the hay to the COW, and the COW
gave him some milk. He carried the
milk to the cat, and the cat gave him
back his great long tail again.
So he went home happy.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29
GOOD SENSE and GOOD LAW.

Judge t. NJ. Cooley, Of the Michigan
Supreme Court, an eminent Judge, has
lately rendered decision regarding the
law of libel, embodying more common
sense than generally gets expounded
for the benefit of newspapers. The De-
troit Post and Tribune, for exposing
certain crookedness in Police Justice
who had fixed bail at an unreasonable
amount In a certain case, for a personal
end apparently, was held to answer for
libel, and set up the plea of privilege
on the ground that the publication was
fair and truthful criticism of public
official, made without malice. The
lower court held that there was no more
privilege to criticise public magis-
trate's acts than to comment upon the
affairs OF a private person. Judge
Cooley said:
THE defendant contends that to call
public attention to what so vitality con-
Germs the public is matter of privilege,
and that, by presumption of law, its
motives in doing SO must be deemed
proper and not actuated by malice; but
the trial Judge, in charging the jury,
denied this claim altogether, and in do
ing--so put the case precisely upon the
same footing with publications which
involve merely private gossip and scan
dal No declaration of this or any 9th
er court can convince the common rea-
son that there is not plain and paipa-
bic distinction here. Few wrongs can
be greater than the public detraction
which has only abuse, or profit from
abuse, for it's object. FetO duties con-
be palmer than to challenge public al
te'a8oaa TO Official disregard of the pTaI-
ciples aUhich protect public and per-
SOnGI liberty. The matter discussed
ia the publication in question was of
grave public concern, and therefore II
vas privileged"
This language fully justifies the bust
ness of Journalism, which courts and
lawyers like to assume has no sanction
in law.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29
The King and the msller.

Near Sans Souci, the favorite resi-
dence OF Frederic the Great, there was a
mill, which much interfers6 win tas
view from she palace. One Gay The
King sent 10 inquire what the own ?
would take for the mill, and the un4x-
pected reply came that the miller would
not sell it for any money. The King,
much incensed, gave orders that the nil.
should be pulled down. The miller
made no resistance, but, folding his
arms, quietly remarked:
"The King may do this, but there are
laws in Prussia"
And he took legal proceedings, the
result Of which WAS that the King had
to rebuild the mill and to pay good
sum of money beside in compensation.
Although his Majesty was much cha
grined at this end to the matter, he put
the best face he could upon it. and turn
ing to his courtiers he remarked:
ST am glad to see that there are Just
laws and upright Judges in my king
DOM"
A sequel to this incident occurred
about forty years ago. A descendant
of the miller Of whom we have just been
talking had come into possession of the
mill.
After having struggled for several
years against ever-increasing poverty,
and being at length quite unable to
keep on in his business, he wrote to the
King Of Prussia, reminding him of the
incident we have just related, and stat
ing that if his Majesty felt so disposed,
he should be very thankful, in his pres
ent difficulty, to sell the mill. The King
wrote the following reply with his OWN
hand
MY DEAR NEIGHBoR cannot allow you to
sell the mill. 1t must always be in your pos.
session as long as one member of your family
exists, for it belongs to the history of Prussia.
regret however, to hear you are in such
straitened circumstances, and therefore send
you herewith S6,00O in the hope that it NAV
be of some service in restoring your fortunes.
Consider me always your affectionate neighbor.
FREDERIC WILLIAM.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29
CRITICAL IT4LIANS.

It is well known that Italian audien-
ces will not endure bad singing without
a vigorous protest. 1t usually takes the
form Of vigorous Kissing, and even
false note or two from the unfortunate
actor will bring down a storm of howls.
They have an original way in Venice of
protesting against bad tenor. A gentle
man il the parterre of the Teatro NAL
ibran recently opened his umbrella
and held it toward the stage, evidently
to keep off the shower Of false notes.
The auditorium at once became forest
of open umbrellas. The tenor fled, thu
curtain fell, and art was avenged.
VANDERBILT could give forty editors
$500, O0O each and then have more money
than he knew what to do witl. Just
think how those forty editors wodla prd
his early garden truck i-Erchaaoe.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29

and as warm as the old kitchen. He
has frst-class selection of fruit-not a
large orchard, but choice selection of
the varieties that thrive and bear the
best in this locality. Everything about
the farm bears marks of intelligence,
thrift and economy. Besides making a
living for himself and the "old
lady" he will sell at least $500 worth of
stuff off his fifty acres this year and not
be exceeding former years either. There
is no rush or hurry about this model
farm. Everything goes off quietly and
regularly. The expenses are very small
and the gains sure.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29
Domestic Economy.

LIvER.-It is a good plan to pour
hot water over liver before frying or
boiling it; it improves the taste and
seems to make it more wholesome also.
PnUMs-Spiced plums are delicious
with cold meat. Cook the plums in a
little water until they are soft, then, so
far as possible, remove the stones,
sweeten and spice to your taste, and boil
until thick, put il large-mouthed bot
ties and seal, or can in the usual way.
LAMB STEAK.-Lamb steak dipped in
egg, and then in cracker or bread
crumbs, and fried until it is brown, helps
make variety for the breakfast table.
With baked sweet potatoes, good coffee
and buttered toast, or corn mullins one
may begin the day with courage.
A NICE PUDDING. nice pudding is
compounded by grating the corn Of six
ears of corn, take three well beaten eggs,
three spoonfuls of sugar, three pints of
milk, bit of butter half the size of an
egg, little grated nutmeg If you like,
stir frequently for the first hour after
putting it in the oven. Bake an hour
and half. 1t is very nice.
FRIED OYSTERS. Choose the largest
and finest oysters you can get, take
them carefully from the liquor and dry
between two clean cloths. Prepare
some beaten eggs, also some cracker
rolled fine; and have ready hot butter
in frying-pan. Dip each oyster first
into the egg, and then into the cracker,
rolling it over until perfectly incrusted,
then fry quickly to light brown.
Serve the moment they are done on a
hot dish garnished with curled parsley.
CELERY MAYoNNAIsE.- off the
green leaves of two punches of celery,
cut in short pieces, wash well, drain in
a cloth, put IN salad bowl, and add
well-seasoned mayonnaise dressing.
Mingle well, and serve with roast canvas
back duck. As wild celery is the food
that gives such succulence to the flesh
of canvas-back ducks killed in November
and December on the Potomac and Sus-
quehanna rivers, cultivated celery is the
proper accompaniment of this dish.
PANCAKES. up three eggs and a
quart of milk make it up into batter
with flour; little salt, q spoonful of
ground ginger, and little grated lemon
peel let it be of a fine thickness and
perfectly smooth. Clean your frying
pan thoroughly, and put into it good
lump of dripping or butter; when it is
hot pour in cupful of batter, and let it
run all over of an equal thickness shake
the pan frequently that the batter may
not stick, and when you think it is done
on one side, toss it over; if you cannot,
turn it with slice, and when both are
of nice light brown, lay it on dish
before the fire; strew sugar over it, and
so do the rest. They should be eaten
directly, or they viii become heavy.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29
PAPER MAKING IN CHINA.

Paper is very extensively manufactured
in the numerous little villages situated
IL the valleys among the hills, about
eight miles to the southeast of the city
of Kinghlen, China. It is made from
the bark called T'an-shu-pi, the paper
mulberry tree bark, and wheat straw,
which, after having been well washed
and boiled with certain proportion of
lime, is again washed, and then exposed
to dry for whole year on the sides of
the hills, In spots where the grass and
brushwood have been previously
cleared away for this purpose. After
the years exposure, it is washed once
more, and then pounded on stone with
large wooden hammer; it is supposed
to require 1,400 blows from this ham
mer to reduce it to the necessary con
sistency, after which it is removed to
another building, AID left to soak until
= becomes quite a pulp, in a large
sarthen vessel, containing liquid glue,
made from boiling the branch of a tree
called the Yangkowt'-eng, species of
hooked vine. This pulp is then put in
TO cistern of water, and well stirred up
with stout stick; a fnelyanade bamboo
frame, or sort of oblong sieve, is taken
by two men, one at either end, and
dipped twice into this liquid,
which is made to run equally
over the whole surface, some.
what after the manner In which the
photographer allows the developing So
luton to run over his plate. By this
means thin and tolerably even layer is
left, which soon partially dries and
forms the sheet of paper, and which is
removed by simply reversing the frame.
AS soon as sufficient number of sheets
has been made, they are taken to the
drying-room. This room contains a
large brick oven, coated on the outside
with lime, and built up within few feet
of the roof. Upon the top of this oven
the paper is placed in parcels of about
foot in thickness, until perfectly dry,
after which sheet by sheet is damped
once more, and while still moist is, by
means of q soft brush, made to adhere
to the sides of the oven for short time.
to undergo its final process of drying.
It is then taken away to the packing
room, and made up into bales weighing
from eighty to 100 catties each, the catty
being equivalent to one and half
pounds avoirdupois. The largest-sized
paper is about one chang eleven and
three-fourths feeD long, and is worth 81
a sheet. This particular size of paper is
made entirely from the Tan-shu-pi. but
the smaller sizes are composed of a
mixture of the aforementioned bark.
or the bark of the paper-mulberry tree
and wheat straw. This paper is known
by the name of Suanchih, and is con-
sidered a good quality of paper in Chi
nese markets.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29
PRTATING IN GINA.


In an interesting article on printing
in China the North China Herald says
that the first great promoter of the art
Of printing was Feng Wing Wang, who
in 992 A. D. advised the Emperor to
have Confucian classics printed with
wooden blocks engraved for the pur-
pose. The first books were printed in
a regular manner and in pursuance of a
decree in 953.
The mariners compass and rockets
were invented about the same time,
showing that at this period mems minds
were much stirred toward inventions.
Twenty years after the edict the blocks
of the classics were pronounced ready,
and were put on sale. Large-sized edi-
tons, which were the only ones printed
at first, were soon succeeded by pocket
editions.
The works printed under the Lung
Emperors at Hangchow we're celebrated
for their beauty; those of Western Chi
na came next, and those of Fokhein
last. Movable type of copper and lead
were tried about the same time; but it
was thought that mistakes were more
numerous with them, and therefore the
fixed blocks were prepared. Paper
made from cotton was tried, but it was
found so expensive that the bamboo
made paper held it's ground.
In the Sung dynasty the method was
also tried of engraving on soft clay and
afterward hardening it by baking. The
separate characters were not thicker
than ordinary copper coin. Each of
them was in fact seal. An iron plate
was prepared with facing of turpen-
tine, wax and the ashes of burnt paper.
Over this was placed an iron frame, in
which the clay types were set up until
it was full. The whole was then suffi-
GENTLY heated to melt the wax facing.
An >iron plate was placed above the
types, making them perfectly level, the
wax being just soft enough to allow
the types to sink into it to the proper
depth.
This being done it would be possible
to print several hundred or thousand
copies with great rapidity. Two forms
prepared in this way were ready for
the pressman's use, so that when he
had done with one he would proceed
with another without delay. Here is
undoubtedly the principle of the print
ing press of Europe, although Western
printers can dispense with soft wax
bed for types and can obtain a level
surface without this device. Perhaps
the need of capital to lay in stock of
types, the want Of a good type metal
easily cut and sufficiently hard, and the
superior beauty of the Chinese charac-
tiers when carved in wood, have pre-
vented the wide employment of the
movable types which are so convenient
for all alphabetical writing.
The inventor of this mode of print
ing in movable types five centuries be-
fore they we're invented in Europe was
named Pi Sheng.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29
The Pie That HASN'T Eaten.


Nell and Patty were going to Mrs.
Hume's to spend the afternoon and take
tea.
"Perhaps she'll have mince pie for
SUPPER" said Nell, as they walked along
the hard, frozen road.
81 do hope she will" cried Patty.
''She makes the incest mince pies ever
saw in all my life." Patty was z years
old.
$50 sweet and plummy, and always
spiced just right added Nell.
"When I get married." said Patty,
Sim going to have Mrs. Hume show
me how to make mince pies just like
hers. Won't my husband be pleased p
Nell made an errand out into the kit
chen for drink of water when Mrs.
Hume was getting supper, and she saw
the mince pie standing in the edge of
the oven to warm, and could smell its
spicy richness.
Coming back into the sitting-room she
gave Patty little nod, which said plain
ly to Patty, "The mince-pie question is
all right" but which said nothing at all
to the school teacher who sat there max
ing tatting.
They sat at supper, and the pie was
passed first to the teacher, who re-
fused it.
"How could she?" thought both girls
IN amazeEent.
Then to Grandma Hume, who never
ate mince pie atnight, and then to thetwo
shop boys, who both shook their heads.
Patty sat next. Poor Patty How
could she dare to take the first piece
from that beautiful pie when her mother
had charged her over and over again
never to appear greedy at the table, es-
pecially away from home.
Nell felt very safe, because Patty S
turn came before hers, and she YES sure
Patty couldn't refuse. But Patty said,
"No, I thank you," and nobody but
Nell dreamed how hard it was for her to
say it.
Nell knew by sad experience for she
had to say it next. She didn't dare to
take the first piece either. Then Mr..
Hume refused it and Mrs. Hume sat ii
down still untouched.
"How you do all slight my mince
pie" she laughed, good naturally, "and
called it L got an extra good hit Oh
them this time. Well, try some custard,
then"
So the custard pie went round, and
everybody took piece, but it wasn't a
bit better than the girls had at home,
not hardly as good they thought. Some
thing had taken off their appetite.
"Patty," said Nell, as they walked
home, Ct think you acted real mean
about that pie. Why didn't you take a
piece? You knew l wanted one.
well, WHY didn't you take one,
Ihen?" asked Patty.
But Nell didn't answer.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29

apples has good to eat and do you like
sour apple? No I'm do like, sour apple
has not good to eat she sour me write in
the paper" Cheyenne Harvey tells this
story: 81 ask Mrs. to spell tomorrow
for me. I forgot how to spell tomorrow
I will never forget tomorrow how to
spell again I will keep spell in this way
tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow and to-
morrow and tomorrow. "-Neao York
Times.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29
WOy 4 HUSBAND WITH HER HAT.

A Rochester girl, of poor but honest
parents, went to the theater and walked
down the main aisle wearing upon he1
head very small and exceedingly
pretty hat. She sat down in the seat
directly in front of one occupied by one
of the millionaires OF the city. His as
constituent was profound. He could
scarcely comprehend it. He leaned owe,
and asked If she owned a cart-wheel hat.
She replied that she did, but never wore
Il to the theater. Still more astonished.
the millionaire leaned back in his seat
almost overcome. After the perform
ance Re offered her his hand, vas ac-
copied. and has agreed to settle $3.50. COG
IN United States bonds upon her on the
morning Of their wedding day. --Roches-
-. Ts-.--,.,.,o
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29
EXPERIENCE WITH Il MEDICAL RE
VIEW.

Some time ago one of the brightest
young physicians in Chicago wrote an
article for medical review. beginning,
s. The recent severe winter of 1886 '87
should warn us, etc. After long time
the editor replied, asking him what he
meant by "the recent winter OF
I8S6-'87," to which "Medicus re-
sponded that, judging from his past ex-
perienee with this review, it would be
1887 when his article appeared, and he
wanted it to read right when published.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29
Am old Story.

Here's story somebody's grandma
used TO tell great many years ago.
A cat caught rat aud bit off its tail
Then the cat concluded she didn't car
abogt eating him, and so let him go
but, i'lst % plague him, she wouldn
give L;in back his tail
The rat was ashamed to go back home
githeut it, and begged and begged hel
20 give it ZIP. Wen,v she said, final
y, if you'll go to the COW and get ms
sls.aa Mill III orirro ,-or, nom. foil y
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29

An indignant gentleman once Called
on an Editor to see about . Piece which
had Appeared in the Paper. lying
him Carefully from head to Foot the
Editor asked: How much do you
Weigh" To this the Indignant one re-
piled: 1900 pounds" "Ah," said the
Editor, that Being the Case, it affords
me Pleasure to inform you that the
Piece to which you Object is a Typo
graphical Error" Haze fabula Docet
otium cum dignitate ct Tu brute at
astra.-DenUer Tribune.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29
sEwSPAPERs AND 1E1EGRAPBs.

Thirty-fve years ago the New York
Assoeiated Press was organized. Tt was
composed of the seven principal morn
ing journals, and It's business was to
collect The news Of the world by tele-
graph 10 resell to the other papers
throughout the country. This press
monopoly made IN alliance with the
telegraph monopoly; but meanwhile
the press Of The Vest has been steadily
increasing IN wealth and power, and
has organized press service OF It's
own. Il now secures its European
news, as well as the general news OF
this country and the World, through It's
own agents. It has broken loose from
the New York city press monopoly,
and hereafter To are to have Tree trade
in news. The monopoly has checked
the growth Of newspapers in the East
ern States, and has injured the pro-
tected papers, Tor without the stimulus
of competition newspaper enterprise Is
apt to lag. We have too many bad
journals, and too few good ones. a
newspaper should be a history of the
world for one dag, and the time is com
ing when our journals VIII be larger,
better and ADLER. People are reading
books less and newspapers more. Some
day the morning papers Will have Illus
trated supplements, giving pictures Of
current events, which VIII be printed in
colors.-Denl OTeSg8 l[o?1thly.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29

An editor in New Jersey publishes
daily paper which is Republican in poll
tics, and weekly which IS intensely
Democratic. In the daily he pitches
into himself as the editor of the weekly.
But in the weekly he gets even by bit
terly annihilating himself as editor of
the daily Il is question, so far, which
has the better of it.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29
QUE JUVENILES.
sc PeeE-0-BOO."


Now, where's the baby gone?
All gone away
Underneath the handkerchief
Sweet little May;
Baby's eyes are big and blue
Almost can see them through
While we're playing "Peek-a-boo,r
May andI.
Something stirs the corner whitel
Out creep the ringiets bright
Baby's lips Of rosebud hue
Bubble DER with laughter, too,
While we're Playing "Peek-a-boc,"
May and 1.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29

TINES of the greatest calamity and
confusioa have ever been productive of
tho greatest minds. The purest orc
comes from the hottest furnace; the
brightest fash from the darkest cloud.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-04-29

A CABLE dispatch that a mine was
discovered in a street in Moscow, Rus
sia, was headed by an innocent jour
nalist head-write- as "A bonanza in
Moscow"