Omaha daily bee., 1883-06-21
THE BARBER DEFENDS THE
IRISH.
He Says the Subject is Utterly BE,
yond the comprehension of
His Assistant.

New York sun.
"Subbosc a chcndlcman should cffcry
tay bead his wife und her screams should
make eXsidcment uf der ncighborhoot, "
said the German barber near the Cooper
institute yesterday; ''uf course der vu-
mans rcladifs would ut dot chendlemnn
write insulding lcdders, und some of der
neighbors would oxbrcss sympathy NIT
der boor woman 10y hart words or sdones
or such dings. Dot habbens etfrey tay.
Dot v~ife-bcading chendlennn is highland
and dot screaming wife is lrelant. Der
reladifs pccn der Irish America, und der
neighbors peen der American PEBBLE
chenerally.
Ven highland COMPLAINS of vot is sayt
und done Offer here We should cry back,
'Shdop beading your vife.-you gread
pig pully, shdop beading your Wife Ven
Chermany und Austria say, like dem did
last week, dem hobe der Americans
please shdop der free sbeech und money
raising und dynamite und such dings, on
accound dot is making owit of reliant an
UNPLEASANT oxamble Ply der rest of Eurobe
We must cry back, Make highland shdop
beading his Wife.
'Py shiminy hooky! der crowned
wooden heads of Eurobe aind pegun to
see vot a noosance und drubble America
will peen to her yet hereafter alretty.
Eurobe is like a fiddle village apowd
dwendy oft families composed, und all
dem families hat doc pig grown for der
original farms und shiopped Offer into
America a crowd of reladifs. Der gutter
mend uf dot village is a lot of kings und
gweens vich are a back of ~loavers vot lif
on der oft families, und der same dime
dreat 'em like der tetiil. A telegraph
gable uf sympathy is iait der potion uf
der ocean under, and ven a pillow is at
liberdy sdruck der oder site, you viii
hear der screams uf der ~reiatifs in Amer.
lea, choost as ven you Dress der button
on Won ent of a~delegraph wire you hear
der consequences py der oder ent. Der
fainsdesd cry for hellup will peen ans.
wered here right away, nit money bubble
~, und brifately, IA leedle dynamide,
perhaps.
''Und ven der kings and gweens gom-
plain, dem should always der same an
alretty, It's on your site of the pig swim,
llllllS pOllu. ION tSOnlDlaln Oh ger eCllO.
You will not hear it if you sdop der
oritchinal noise
Dot monkey harper py der negst
shair, he says der Irish question looks
like it will soon peen settled if all der
chenerals by der batriot army come to dis
guntry und all der high brifates get locked
mt Pritish chails up.
Der idea Of such a monkey Teller dry
ing to dackle such a pig subchect is as
much foolishness as if a von-eyed man
should dry to see der both sites of him
selluf tergedder. His oft farder srys he
is like der shmard Cherman poy vich vent
to purchase Il horse away from a Chew.
Il know how to told II goot horse, he
sayt; 'all vot has got to peen done is to
look ut his deeth.' Der Chew a horse
brought ovid vich berfect deeth had, and
svore peside der CRATE of his farder der
ANIMAL chose as sound as the old-fash-
toned tive-cent bieces. Der schmard poy
bald der brice und der horse dooh away,
but ven his farder saw him he CRIED
ovid; Wy, dot horse has only dree legs
got
"'Py Shimminy Hooky.!" der poy bad
sayt; 1 forgot to COUNT his legs.