Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1883-04-09
THAT BAD BOY AGAIN.

said the groceryman to the bad boy,
the other morning, as he came in and
jumped upon the counter and tied
the end of ball of twine to the tail
of dog, and "sicked' the dog on
another dog that was following a
passing sleigh, causing the twine to
pay out until the whole ball was
scattered along the block. stCon-
denim you, I've notion to choke the
liver out of you. Who tied that twine
to the dogs tail 20
The boy choked up with emotion,
and the tears came into his eyes, and
he SAID he didn't know anything
about the twine or the dog. He said
he noticed the dog come in, and wag
his tail around the twine, but he sup
posed the dog was friend of the
family, and did not disturb him.
Everybody lays everything that is
done to me, said the boy, as he put
his handkerchief to his nose, ''and
they will be sorry for it when [ die.
l have a good notion to poison my
self by eating some of your glucose
sugar.
eyes, and you do about every
thing that is mean. The other day
lady came in and told me to send
up to her house some of my country
sausage, done up in muslin bags, and
while she was examining it she no.
ticed something hard inside the bags,
and asked me what it was, and [
opened it, and I hope to die if there
wasn't little brass paddock and
piece of red morocco dog collar i'm
bedded in the sausage. Now, how
do you suppose that got in there?"
and the groceryman looked savage.
The boy looked Interested, and put
on an expression as though in deep
thought, and finally said, II suppose
the farmer that put up the sausage
did not strain the dog meat. Sausage
meat ought to be strained.''
The groceryman pulled in about
half a block of twine, after the dog
had run against a fence and broke
it, and told the boy he knew perfect
ly well how the brass paddock came
to be in the sausage, but thinking
that it was safer to have the good
will of the boy than the ill will, he
offered him a handful of prunes.
mo, says the boy, Il have swore
off on mouldy prunes. | am no
kindergarten any more. For years
| have eaten rotten peaches around
this store, and everything you
couldn't sell, but l have turned over
a new leaf now, and after this moth
ing is too good for me. Since pa
has got to be an inventor, we are
going to live high
whats your pa invented? | saw
a hearse and three hacks go up on
your street the other day, and L
thought may be you had killed your
pa"
''Not much. There will be more
than three hacks when | kill pa, and
don't you forget it. Well, sir, pa
has struck fortune, if he can make
the thing work. He has got an idea
about coal stoves that will bring him
in several million dollars, if he gets a
royalty of five dollars on every coal
stove in the world. His idea is to
have a coal stove on castors with the
pipe made to telescope out and in,
and rubber hose for one joint, so you
can pull the stove all around the room
and warm any particular place. Well,
sir, to hear pa tell about it, you would
think it would revolutionize the coun-
try, and maybe it will when he gets
it perfected, but he came near burn
ing the house up, and scared us all
half to death this morning, and burn
ed his shirt off, and he is all covered
with cotton with sweet oil on, and he
smells like salad dressing. You see
pa had a pipe made and some castors
put on our coal stove, and he tied
rope to the hearth of the stove, and
had me put in some kindling wood
and coal last night, so he could draw
the stove up to the bed and light the
fire without getting up. Ma told him
he would put his foot in it, and he
told her to dry up, and let him run
the stove business. He said it took
man with brains to run a patent
right, and ma she pulled the clothes
over her head and let pa do the fire
act. She has been building the fires
for twenty years, and thought she
would let pa see how good it was.
Well, he pulled the stove to the bed,
and touched off the kindllng wood. L
guess maybe l got bundle of kind
ling wood that the hired girl had put
kerosene on, cause it blazed up awful
and smoked, and the blaze busted
out the doors and windows of the
stove, and pa yelled fire and | jumped
out of bed and rushed in and he was
the scartest man you ever see, and
you'd a died to see how he kicked
when l threw pail of water on his
legs and put his shirt out. Ma did
not get burned, but she was pretty
wet, and she told pa she would pay
the five dollars on that stove and take
the castors off and let it remain sta
tionary. Pa says he will make 1t
work if he burns the house down.
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