Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1883-03-08
"SllAHp BUMPER DEGREE"
'Say, are you Mason, or q nod
fellow, or anything" asked the bad
boy Of che grocery man.

"Why, yes, Of course | am"
"Wsll, do the goats bunt when you
nishiate fresh eandiate?"
"No, Of course not. The goats are
cheap ones, that have no life, and
we muzzel them, and put pillows
over their heads, so they can't hurt
anybody" says the grocery man, as
he winEed at brother nodfellow
who was seated on sugar barrel,
looking mysterious. ''But Why DO
you ask"
"Oh, nuthin, only | wish me and
my cbum had muzzled our goat with
pillow. Pa would have enjoyed
his becoming member of our lodge
better. You zee pa had been telling
as how much good the Masons and
Odd Fellers did, and said We ought
TO try and grow up good so we could
jine the lodges when we got big, and
I asked pa if it would do any hurt
for us to have a play lodge in my
room, and purtend TO nishiato, and
pa said it wouldn't do any hurt. He
said it would improve our minds,
and learn us to be men. SO my chum
and mo borried goat that lives in
che livery stable.
@You SEQ nly chum and me had to
carry the goat up to my room when
pa and ma was out riding, and he
blatted so We had 10 tie handker-
chief around his nose, and his feet
made such noise on the floor that
we put some baby'ssocks on his feet.
Gosh, how frowny a goat smells.
don't it? l should think you Masons
must have strong stummiy.
"Well, sir, my chum and Inc prac-
ticed with the goat until he could
bunt picture of goat every time.
We borried n buck beer sign from n
saloon man, and hung it on the pack
of y chair and the goat would hit it
every time. That night pa wanted
To know what We were doing up in
my room, aud told him we were
playing lodge, and improving our
minds, and pa said that vas right,
there was nothing that did boys of
our age half so much good as to i'm
itats men, and store by useful mol
lidga. Then my chum asked pa if he
dida't want To como up and take the
grand bumper degree, and pa LATED
and said he didn't care if he did just
to encourage the boys in innocent
pastims, that was so improving to
cur intellect. We had shut the goat
up in @ closet il nay room, and he
had got over batting, SO we took off
the handkerchief, and he was eating
some Of my paper collars and skate
straps. We went upstairs and told
pa to come up pretty soon and give
three distIpct raps. anfwhen we ask
ed him who was there he must say,
% pilgaris who wants to join your
ancient order and ride tho goat Ma
wanted to come up too, but we told
her il she CONS in il would break up
che lodge, cause a woman couldn't
keep secret. and We didn't have
any side-saddle for the goa:. Say,
if you never tried II the next time
You Initiate man III your irsson's
lodge, you sprinkle little kyan pep
per OH the goats beard just afore
you turn him loose. You can get
shree times az much fun TO the square
incb Of goat. You wouldn't think
1t was the same goat. Well, we got
all fixed. and pa raped. and we let
him in aud told him no must be blind
folded, and he got on his knees a
iafling, and | tied 4 towel around
his eyes, and then ! turaed him
around and made him get down on
his hands nlso, and then his back
was right towards the closet door,
and | put the buck beer sign right
sgainst pas clothes. He was lafiing
all the time, and said we boys were
az full OF fun as they made 'em, and
wa told him it was solemn occasion,
and we wouldn't permit no lsvity,
and if he didn't stop lafiing we could
MT give him the grand bumper de-
grse. Then everything was ready,
and my chum had his hand on the
closet door, and eome kyan pepper
in the other hand, and asked pa in
low base tones If he folt az though
he wanted to turn back, or il he had
nerve enough to go ahead and take
the degree. / warned him that it
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