Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1883-03-07
fErNs,, poIr~o,.s, '
(From Belgravia.]
The 0DD-LOOKING MAN,

(From Begravia.]
The 0DD-L00KING MAN.
1t is just thirty years to-day since We
were all seated at the table dhote of q
fashionable hotel in Venice. "We,
means my father, mother, sister and my.
self. The two former are long since de-
parted this life. My sister, young lady
travelling for educational purposes, or, as
old John Dickens would have said, ''tc
consolidate her modern languages and
music, is now wife and mother. !
had just finished my terms at Oxford;
and, rs We all fancied we should benefit
by a change Of air and scene, we set out
for twelvemonths' continental tour.
In due season We reached Venice, where
l overheard the remark which suggested
the heading of the present article. Our
ris-a-ris was an English clergyman, with
his family, whom we then met for the
first time on our travels. The eldest
daughter, glancing stealthily at her op-
poslte neighbor, and with difficulty le-
pressing q smile, whispered audibly
enough in her fathers ear: "What a
strengthening man that is facing us. "
Hereupon paterfamilias, putting his
qu'zzng glass to his eye, and staring
deliberately at the object OF the remark,
exclaimed emphatical!y: "He is indeed
an odd-looklng fellow!"
The victim, of these unHattering OBJ
servations was myself! l have always
been what cockney would call a rum
IN to look at Perhaps no other def.
milton would suit me as we'll. I am not,
strictly speaking, The Ugly man -
neither am I The Lean Man, The Fat
Man, The Short Man, or The Tall
Man. My features, individually, are
neither plain nor unprep ssessing. Yet
the ense4nble-ah! there is the rub!
There is screw loose somewhere! Fig
uratively, the shoe pinches. But had
my misfortunes been confined to a
general popularity Of appearance, I
should certainly have kept my own coun-
sci, and, so to speak, consumed my own
smoke with the pipe of philosopher.
But 1t was far more than this. Here.
dltary predisposilion had bequeathed to
me threefold idiosyncrasy. Speech,
person and nervous organization we're
alike out of tune. The early conscious
ness of these failings rendered me, from
childhood, shy and sensitive to degree
which more healthily constituted per-
SONS could scarcely even imagine; as l
grew to boyhood and youth these feel
lngs became more intensified, and when
I had reached my 18th year, / was liter
ally unable to frequent places of public
resort and amusement, or even to enjoy
quiet daily walk, without undergoing
positive torture. Ny friends failed not
to mlsjudge me, and attributed to me,
most unjustly, morose and misanthro-
pical disposition. [ was thus, by sort
of fatality, deprived OF the natural SYM
pathies and counsel OF those who were
nearest and dearest to me. In due sea-
son, my school days, which had been
hourly torture to me, whether in class
room or playground, came to an end
lmpelled by natural ambition, and COM
plying with the wishes Of my parents, l
boldly resolved to risk the ordeal of
university life, with faint hope-Hea-
ven save the mark!-of eventually en-
bracing the clerical profession. So l
entered my name at a college, and in
due time presented myself Tor matricu,
latiop. Alas! my amour propre was
destined, at the outset, to be rudely
shaken. CHANGING to encounter, be-
meath the gateway of my college, a
merry group of my fellow-gownsmen,
one of them, cycling me askance, audibly
expressed hope that that odd looking
fellow didn't intend to come there p
This was no Hattering welcome, on the
part of Alma Mater, to one so sensitive
and self-consclous as myself.
But worse still was to follow. While
undergoing the preliminary examination
in the college haii-Of which, in point
OF scholarship, had little dread-one
of my fellow-fresbmen remarked to his
neigLbor: "Good heavens! did you
ever see such phiz!' This plunged
the iron more deeply into my sore and
stricken soul. 1t capped the climax, as
it were. Within less than week was
forced to leave my college, and renounce
all the fond and vain hopes which my
friends and myself had built on my uni
versity career.
1now became desperate and threw my
self into various forms of solitary and
unsocial dissipation. Having inherited,
from a distant relative, small legacy to
enable me to follow some liberal career, Z
I squandered away the whole capital, on
attaining my majority, with insane reck.
lessness. Having thus reduced myself
to the condition of the penniless }prodi-
gal, gratefully accepted the offer OF
accompanying my family abroad. z5~-t-
Byron tells us that foreign travel is
the strongest mental stimulus next to
ambition. Notwithstanding my re-.
peated failures and disappointment I
now chung to this last for1orn hope of
Kidding mysel,, by strong effort, sec,
striking scenes, of the incubus of self
consciousness. I endeavored to coun-,
teract my personal deficiencies by adopt
ing various modes of dress, which i fam !.
cied most suitable for the purpose, re-
CARELESS of fashion or expense, so long
as still had the family purse to resort
to. studied my imperfect enunciation
for hours together, in my room, and be.
foremy glass, fancyiug myself comedian
preparing for his debut, or an M. Pre- J,
hearsing his maiden speech. To combat
my shyness, consulted an experienced]
medical practitioner, t whom I4ully de-
scribed my abnormal symptoms, and
who recommended me to try ooloreds3
spectacles. For what added to my CON
fusion was the fact that whenever peo-
pie CHANGED TO look at me, the nervous
twitching and scared expression of my
eye naturally attracted their attention,
and caused them to stare the. harder:
But it WAS all to no purpos :; my fatality
still chung to me wherever, / went. My
voice, indeed, grew stronger and more
emphatic under the severe training of
my Demosthenic exercises. But it's in
herent defects became proportionaily
more marked and offensive. My green
or blue goggles-for I tried every variety
and shade Of color only served tol
metamorphose my queer looking. .phfz 4
into an exquisite model for carnival
mask. r-1ae ~. .is.g >. %ss-<a u & Isl
To give one illustration among q hun
dred. One summers evening we were
all standing ON the ierrace Ct the far
90 '~=.: IL