Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1883-02-14
THE BAD BOY.
,be Front steps fer the Letter Car
Hs s''' rier with Dire Results.

-onebOdy else, puo he nioH' "
..or when 1t is on him; ! asked him
ss,s morning if it wouldn't be, good
w, W. 10 nut some soft soap on the 'front.'
lose 90 the letter carrier would slip
slep s,nd spill hisself, and pa said II
W Id he elegant. Pa is n democrat,
wo Ihe thinks that anything that will
suIp Il unpleasant for republican
p nsn@e.holders is legitimate, and he en-
ol nn.,,yayed me to paralyze the letter car
evu' The letter carrier is as old man
NJ. and | didn't want to humiliate
H., Int Just wanted pa to give his
h nans,ent so he couldn't kick If he
esonght in his own trap. You see !?
Wwssil this morning the minister and
w, va. az the deacons called on pa, to
wa W. q talk with him about his actions
ninsehnrch on two or three occasions,
n,va he pulled out the pack
v cards with his handker-
oh;sf and played the music box, and
e .nav had a pretty hot time in the back
nsrIor, and finally they settled it, and
y rsre going to sing a hymn, when pa
hsnded them little hymn book, and
~ minister opened it and turned pale
~. sud said. what's thisY and they looked
s ss;t and it was book of Hoyle's
s.s,es instead of a hymn-book. Gosh,
ss.nlt the minister mad? He started
read. hymn and he quit after he
sad two lines where it said, In a
ssme of four-handed euchre never
immp your partners ace, but rely on
no ace to take the trick on suit Pa
Vas trying to explain how the book
,ome to be there, when the minister
ma the deacons started out, and then
porred the two-quart tin pail full of
soap on the front step 1t was this
white soap, just the color of the
step. and when | got it spread
I went down in the basement.
The visitors came ont and
No was trying to explain to them
about Hoyle, when one OF the deacons
stepped in the soap, and his feet flew
nm and he struck on his pants and slid
down the steps. The minister said
great heavens, deacon, are you hurt
I,et me assist YOU, and he took two
quick steps, and you have seen these
fellows in a niger show that kick
each other head over heels and fall on
their ears. and stand on their heads
and turn around like top. The min
ister's feet slipped and the next / saw
he was standing on his head in his hat
and his legs were sort of wilted and
fell limp by his side, and he fell over
on his stomach. You talk about
Spreading the gospel in heather lands
LII is nothing to the way you
can spread it with two quarts
Of soft soap. The minister didn't look
Nous bit, when he was trying tC
I catch the railing. He looked as
though he wanted to murder every
man on earth, but it may be he was
tired. Well, pa was paralyzed, and he
, and the other deacon rushed out tc
nick up the minister and the first old
IMAM, and when they struck the stel
they went kiting. PAS feet somehow
alpped backwards, and he turned 8
ammersault and struck full length on
Mis- back, and one heel was across the
3minister's neck, and he slid down the
steps, and the other deacon fell ovel
the other three, and pa swore at them
land it was the worst looking lot o
pious people I ever saw. think if the
D&minister had been in the woods some
8where, where nobody could have hearC
"a MIN, he would have used language
"a They all seemed mad at each other
3S The hired girl told ma there was three
#tramps out on the sidewalk fighting pa
and ma she took the broom ant
started to help pa, and | triet
10 stop ma, cause her constl
tuition is not very strong, and
didn't want her to do any fiyin.
trapeze business, but ! couldn't stol
bier, and she went out with the broom
land a towel tied around her head
Well, | don't know where ma die
$trike but when she came in she saiC
: he had palpitation of the heart, bu
That was not the place where she pu
he arnica. o, but she did go through
The air like bullet through cheese
Rnd when she went down the steps Z;
bumpity-bump, l felt sorry for ma
The minister had got so he could set III
bnthe sidewalk, with his neck agains
he lower step, when ma came slidin!
down and one of the heels of her gait
PRS hit tn. minister in the hair, ant
he other foot went right through be
tween his arm and his side, and tn
broom like to pushed his teeth down
bis throat. But he was not mac
atma. AS soon ms he see it was ma h
said Why, sister, the wicked stand il
slippery places, don't they and ma sh
was mad and said for him TO let go he
hooking, and then pa was mad and IA
sald, 'look-a-here, you sky-pilot, thi
'hihg has gone far enough, and the
policeman came along and first h
wrought they were all drunk, but h
Found they were respectable, and h
gOt chip and scraped the soap off 9
Enem, and they went home, and p
and ma they got in the house som
way, and just then the letter-carrie
sane along, but he didn't have an.
letters for us, and he didn't come o.
The steps, and then | went up-stair
ald said, "Pa don't you think it
'almean, after you and / fixed tn
sseon the steps for the letter-carriei
" Oidnt come on the step at all, an
AWas scraping the soap of his pant
WIN piece ofshingle, and the hire
flfl was putting liniment on ma, an
Ealing it in for palpitation OF tn
aeart and pa said, You dam idjut, II
more Of this, or I'll maui the liver on
cH, and / asked him ii he didn
INNS soft soap would help mou
Ihe to grow, and he picked up ma
OINhasket and threw it at my he's
= came down stairs, and can
XVI here. Don't you think my /
II unreasonable To pat mad nj n lit