The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-03-30
PLEASANTLY.

A new furore is predicted for ornamental
clay figures. This surely means reign
OF terra" (cotta).- Harvard Lampoon.
New York boasts of being the first to in
troduce the English sparrow. The English
sparrow also finds tho metropolis the most
oongenial- of American cities Boston
Transcript.
Yes" said Brown, Stalker is a great
actor. He is possessed of real talent ~
" And he hides 1t so perfectly, added Fogg
in sympathetic admiration Boston
Transcript.
When FinGler said he was going to settle
in town, Fogg remarked that Fingler's
creditors would be glad to know that he
was going TO settle somewhere Boston
Transcript.
Jones has sorvant-giri who is so slow in
her movements that the milk she passes
from one end of the table to the other be-
comes sour before it reaches its destination.
A New Yorker has been fined $500 for
giving tobacco to giraffe in Central park.
That's right give tobacco TO boys as much
as YOU like, but don't try to poison our III
rolles,--[Oil City Derrick
Address gostal.carl to "John Smith, "
paste the blank side on the wall, and the
seer of Jerusalem will come along ut the
head of an army, if necessary, and raZe the
building to ascertain what is on the back OF
That csrd.-tPuck..
At one of the schools in Cornwall the in.
spector asked the children il they could
quote any text OF Scripture which forbade q
man having two wives. One of the children
quoted in reply the text, "No man can
serve two masters. FIX.
A Newark boy, about to speak 10 public
on the stage" was so terrified that he fled
and has not since been heard from. Hi.
prompt action saved the audience at least
ten minutes of torture.-l Lowell Citizen.
A couple got married up in Goshen, N
H., the other day, after courtship OF TWEEN
ty-live years. This is commendsble ex
ample OF moderation IN taking n step fol-
life, out the thing isn't popular
Citizen.
"You wouldn't take me for married
man, would you" asked a student of {
CORTLAND girl last Sunday night. "a
rather think | would If You should asl
me, was the response. He bought a rin,
next day.-TMarathon Independent,
There were three sober men in on City
one day last week, and the temperance PEG
pile think victory is nigh. Blizzard. IL Il
suspected that the three sober men wer,
sent to the lookup the dsy before for forty
eight hours,-[ Norr Herald
II is said that inhaling the fumes OF sui
pher will cure cstarrh. The course which
many people pursue in this life gives prom
ise that they won't be afflicted with cotarrl
in the next.-[Cincinnnti Saturday Night
A Pennsylvania man proposed to kill tn
baby in order to reduce the expenses Of tn
family, but the wife finally persuaded hin
to reduce the dogs rations instead, and II
a few weeks the family was rich enough Il
buy another dog,-[Burlington Free Press
They tell ola hoy in the south who's
feet are 50 hot that they will heat u buckle
OF water in ten minutes. He is probably
son Of the man who can make tub OF We
ter boil by merely inserting his nose IN II
Both cases are remarkable NorIistow'
Herald.
4 Massachusetts business man wa
found in his Office the other day with hi
reason dethroned. He was perfectly san
an hour before and the cause OF his ment,
disturbance was 8 mystery; but newsps
per lying on his desk. containing the ne,
tariff law, led TO the belief that he had bee
trying to decipher It's Reaning.-fNorri:
town Herald.
"Who are those two men2h asked Dcaco
Gilpln OF Squire McGill, the other evening
"Oh, those ara the men who come 10 wor
In Jorslun's place. lie has moved
Binghamton." ITO work In Joralum
place. Why he was the LATEST man !
Marathon" ~ knew IL, and thNs til
reason there's two OF them. IL takes bot
of them 10 be as lazy as he was. " Mars
thon Indenendert