The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1883-10-10


That mule is not proud. He is the descend
ant of an ass He has no hope OF posterity.
His ears are the Isness OF the Immense. bis
legs are as crooked the ways OF Congress
man. His tail is like scrubbed-out broom.
He knows all this. he is full OF original SIN,
ana he knows it. His back is as hot as the
business extremity of bee, as sharp as
Philadelphia lawyer, and he car bow 1t up
till it is as round and sleek as-as-as-tiil 1t
is round and sleek. His head is so big that
he is very liable to tie up behindi and by a
spasmodic twitching of the muscles his heels
fly out behind and knock everything within
forty feet into the middle of the great Hence
This is all that can be said against the
mule. He likes TO have his own way, but so
does woman. He is more patient than job
job was never a mule. He would have
kicked his wife's toenails through her skull
and his friends outside the attraction of grav-
ity if the devil had made him mule and
put Young America to work him in fy time.
He will work for eighteen hours on the rea-
sonable expectation of food, and then go ont
and feast on hazel brush and Zephyrs. Or,
if he finds his appetite failing. he will chew
up mangeT and nine gunny sacks once in a
while, and sometimes twice as many IN an
occasionally. He never fades away Ike a
midnight conception of pie; his eye never
grows dim save when he signs for oats; dis
ease never tackles him. and death knows bet
ter than to fool around mule. He is very
friendly. and likes TO shake hands with his
northwest hoof He does not love to kill, "
but his friendship may prove fatal. Yet,
notwithstanding all these good qualities, he
is called that burned mule"
That burned mule must be broken" that
is. he must be dubbed till he doesn't know
himself from his maternal grandmother;
worried and tantalized till editing paper
would be a relief; whipped till demons hide
their fearful faces and angels tremble with
compassion; cursed till the recording angel
| calls for q rebate; scared because he fears,
and dumbfounded because he is ignorant;
| his ribs thumped with ch estnut rail; his
mouth and his body lacerated till he looks
like an animated BARRIERS pole; driven till
| he sweats like a negro at election, and pants
like a Berkshire hen laying a goose egg;
vexed till he caracoles, jumps, summersaults
Frances, blasphemeS sQueais, and finally
| spreads himself out like a mustard plaster,
| raising blisters as big as biscuit
| in the twinkling of a hoof; kicks like
/ creased lightning on a bender, his legs flying
| out in five directions at once till the harness
! is kicked into molecules and not enough of
the wagon left to found remark upon; till
/ the remains of his tormentOrs are scattered
over four Counties and half the town lots in
the moon; and yet not word OF his woes is
| said in extenuation of this sublime exhiOi
ton OF his Numbering qualities
Ny friend. if you have a mule treat him
/ decently. Show him that respect you d,
your wife when you have gone to the
field and left no stove wood cut, aud sht
meets you with all the fire in her ey,
| that ought to be in the stove. Don't bea
| him and he wont kick you. n mulC
| kicks because he is afraid or else because
his soul las been soured with black
snake whip Do not be prejudiced against
him because he is a mule and ugly. OF all
animals the mule suffers most from preju
dice He is really docile, tractable ANNA
| when treated fairly You needn't absorb hin
in your affections, as il we're, bur remember
that he is dust and liable TO make you dus
| if you try to pound his ears down his wind
| pipe. And remember that he gets hungry
and has sense OF goneness, and that oat
| cheer up his internal revenue department
| A span of mules rightly, humanely treated
make the best farm team in the world
strong, willing, never stick, small eaters
| such team Will make you hug your VIII,
| every time you think about them; but i
you own mule and spoil him, you had bet
ter hire your coat tails to knock your brain!
|