The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-04-25
The. Lime Kiln Club.

''Gem len, has a painful bit o news
to spread befo' de meetin," began the
old man as he motioned to Elder Toots
to put down the alley window. "Nico-
demus Pembroke Scott, a local member
of dis lodge, has crossed into Canadv
an will not reappear among us. Fur
de las three months have been expect
in some SIGH climax, an dis mawnin'
when a messenger informed me dat he
had disapp cared, arter failin' in an at
tempt to shoot himself wild an ole boss
pistol, l war not a bit surprised He
leaves wife an two chill'en an about
fifty creditors.
what sent him OFF, De same reasons
dat am daily worlin' to bring about an
oder panic-de same reasons dat explain
de hundreds OBJ bizness failures -de same
reasons dat am cripplin' de efforts of
thousands of hard-workin' men to secure
homes of DER own-fam " extravaganza.
No, you can't call it extravaganza; fool
cry am better name for it. Up to q
var ago Brudder Scott was jobbin'
aroun' an maxim dollar a day. Den
he got a situashun by which he Armed
fo'teen dollars per week He wass poo
off in de house an had debts hangin'
obeF him, but heah was de chance to get
chen. How was it improved? In less
dan one month his wife was rugged out
wild twenty dollar dress, twelve shil-
lin kids, five dollar hat an an opera
fan. He had no peace oh min onless he
obeyed her. In six weeks she became
too heightened to wash an iron fur cd
der folkses. In two months she wanted
better house, wild a red paI-lor carpet
an cane-seat chairs all aroun' de room.
In three months she had to have black
oil Hroco cold hr.o0a1af,
kid shoes an gold film in her>teef
Dat foolery has reaped its harvest.
De husband found that he was runnin'
behind, his home was bein' neglected,
his wife was bein' gossiped about, an
in despair he has picked up his feet an
slid out. 1t was the natural result. |
tell you, my frens, de tomfoolery of de
women of dis kentry am strainin' on de
till de cord can't stan much
mo-, an it am high time dat somebody
sots his foot down. De man who Arms
S25 per week has somehow got de ideah
into his head dat the world expects him
TO dress his wife as if he Armed bank
er's profits. Wives of men who can't
keep up wild DER house-xents am canter-
n up an down wild seal-skin sacques
an six dollarshoes. Wives of men who |
nave to dodge de butcher an grocer an
.allor am now seIectIn spring carpets |
IN orderin' $50 lambrequins. Wives of |
men who coulda't raise $50 at de bank |
20 save DER necks am rushin' to balls an |
parties an havin' DER expensive dresses |
Inscribed fur de benefit of de public.
''De so-called society of de aige am |
of false hair, false pretenses, |
an base decepshum. Our |
-ich people am distinguished by DER |
plain dress an quiet manners. DE snides |
an dudes an dodos do all de swagger- |
n, rush on all lie colors an monopolize |
lie biggest sheer of de street You waitl |
De man who lives fur anoder ten V ars |
will h'ar sunthin' drap an arter dc drap
axes place de thousands of idiots who
low feel ashamed to admit dat they
loan keep but two servant gals in de
house will go back to DER cook-stoves
IN wash tubs an take DER proper places
n de purceshun. Detroit Free Press.