The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1883-12-28
WHOLE NO 755
WHY WE LAUGH.

"Alcoholic emotion" is the last name
given it.-Graphic.
It Is the man In the mud who sees some
thing In the rain to add mire.-Picaune.
Oscar Wilde, It is announced, Is to be mar
ried, The name of the other weak.minded
party Is not given.
Colorado Is almost desert, and 1t is re-
freshipg to know that she even has railrod
POOL Commercial Advertiser.
Shortly three of our reporters will leave.
One goes to Toronto, one TO New York and
the otherto iail.-Pittsb,rg Leader.
1t is quite generally believed that when
New York man dies he goes to Saturn. He
could't be content with future existence In
. planet that hadn't two or three rings
Life.
Foresight: But, Sylvia" said Hattie, eff
you climb that fence Mr.. Tawmus, who is
over there, will see your stocking" And
Sylvia replied: 81 thought Of fthat."-Boston
Post.
"Hello, Jones, what time is it?" asked a
Fort Wayne man of another yesterday. ats
just time you paid the S. you owe me-" "Is
1t, indeed; didn't think 1t was so late a.
that. "--Hoosier.
Lady of the house to cook-"Maggie,
want you to be sure and baste the duck you
are cooking" Cook-"Oh, yes, min; will.
And We see / was jst afther comm for .
nadle an third to do it wid."-1he Judge.
1t IL said that Ell Mahd has one short arm
and the other is so long that 1t reaches below
his knee. You can never make Hicks Pasha
believe that Ell Mahdi reached for him with
that short arm. He knows better.--Peck's
Sun.
medical writer says that girls are so
constructed that they cannot jump. II he is
. respectable young man, let him propose
matrimony to one Of the girls, and he'll
soon see her jump-at the offer.--Norristo,c
Herald.
A German &C oosted = broad brimmed
specimen from Idaho the other day: "Who
vas you?" Looking the inquisitive German
in the face, he replied, 81 am q cowboy"
"Dot's good" replied our German friend;
"shake, vas bully boy too"
Antiquarian lore: Mrs. Cresus--"W What is
the price of that clock in the Louis XIV.
style? p" Antiquarian--"Excuse me, but
that is In the style of Louis XVI" Mrs.
CrGsus-"Oh, that's of no consequence.
What is one Louis more or less, to us ?''-
Harper's Weekly.
A precocious Child, while Engaged at his
THANKSGIVING Repast, remarked to his In.
duigent Mother that he Believed he was not
as Thankful as he Ought to Be. "This
shocking condition of Affairs" added he,
may, However, be somewhat Remedied by
another Piece of Mince pie and larger
Slice of Cheese"
"Allow me to compliment you on the last
editor. ~ think it Is the best number that
you have ever issued" "Your Kind words
are too late," the editor replied, "for with
the last issue suspended the publication OF
the HOrn," eyes, / know" rejoined the
friend, "and that's why thought the last
issue was the bcst."-Arkansae Traceler.
Unto her pa, with face serene,
Said one of Gothams fairest daughters:
What does this old expression mean
This casting bread upon the waters ?"
Her father, with soft caress,
Replied, with earnestness surprising,
"My dear, it's nothing more nor less
Than most judicious ADVERTISING
". Y. Morning Journal.
"Well, my dear" said an Austin man to
the wife of his bosom, "shall call for you,
say at O'Clock this aftsrnoon?" "Call fol
mel Why, what for?" inquired his wife In
an evident tone of surprise. "To 60 to the
milliner's after hat" "After hat Why,
hubby, didn't We get new hat for me only
yesterday? What on earth are you talking
about p" "Oh, forgot, surely. Why, yes
so we did. l see it now very plainly-it Ii
only every day you want . new hat BY
stepping out hastily and holding the door
shut he managed to escape merited punish.
ment.-Te1ds SJtings.
Two for q quarter: He was smoking fine
full-favored Havana when he met his friend
"Have q cigar?" he inquired politely
"Thanks," said the other, gratefully, taking
and lighting the proffered weed. After few
experimental pufs, however, the friend re-
moved the cigar from his lips, and looking al
1t doubtfully, said with . very evident abate.
mept of gratitude in his tone: "What dc
you pay for these cigarsp" "Two for quar-
ter" replied the original proprietor of bott
weeds, taking his own cigar out of his mouth
and looking at it with considerable satisfac'
tion; "this cost me twenty cents and that
five." The conversation languished at thi:
pont.-Puck.