davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25
JUST WHAT IT MEANS.


The cry Of the republican party must
90 says concisely what thinking men
feel. ...-F --r..,s- y.
1t means more than it at first appears.
At the outset, observe not the republicans,
but the republican party must CO.
Not intolerance of men, but of methods
not hatred of principles, but of power
abused; not prejudice against party for
what it has been, but contempt for what
it is, is the meaning. &
1t is not vindictive; it is not narrow
minded. 1t expresses truth.
Long continuance in power is fatal to
any party. We do not attempt to trace
the steps of this inevitable decay of a
mere party shall by no means corrupt the
body polite. We find disease. We seek
health,
There is no hope for the republican
party in itself. 1t must CO. The salt has
lost its SAVIOR. Is there a Summer or a
Greeley, or Phillips, or Lincoln, or J
Garrison, or Seward today giving the
life of his great spirit to councils2 The
grand old party" has outlived its vigor
Old, but 70 longer grand, it must GO
Dorseys and Bradys, Belknaps and Bah
cocks, Howgates and Shepherds, KeIloggs
Mahones, Robson and Chambers are the
men who, in spirit or in person, rule.
For what does it exist?
The great mass of its own nominal
adherents have lost faith nit Thousands
whose lives have been spent in its service
see thatits usefulness is past.
Well for this party if its history had
closed before 1876. In the eight wears
past who will sum up the losses Of the
republican party? Men of conscience
men of honesty, have been compelled tC
leave it. J. Patience has ceased to be &
virtue. Place. holders may call it pre-
sumption, vindictive, unmeaning preju
dice. The war horse style of orators may
begin in their charges of old But the
times have changed and the people will
them. Hypocrisy must 60
Whoever is deceived is deceived will
lingly.
The republican party must CO.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25

though I still think it wasn't so far
backs that. Well, as | was saving,
when we were in Philadelphia it was
Philadelphia 1S56--can it be posi-
ble!-I heard very curious story. 1t
was about Mr.. Whatshisname-I new
er could remember names, but YOU
know him, father. That man with the
red face and gray beard-no, It wasn't
him; the man with the red face and
gray beard was the man we met at HUI
da's. Couldn't have been him. why,
father, you ought to remember. Twas
that man who lived down on-dear mel
what is the name of that street?''
Never mind the mans name, moth
er; give us the story"
"Of course it's nothing to do with
the story; but it makes me so mad that
| can't remember nothing. Now there's
your sister Sarah, father; what a mem
DRY that woman has! She always has
the day and date right at her tongues
end, and you once give her person
name, and she never'll forget it to her
dying day. But me! 1t puts me all
out of patience. When go to tell any
thing, l can't remember the first
thing"
''But the story, mother?'3
"Oh, yes! 1t was about this man
mercy sakes! why can't | think what
his name is? However, it's no use.
Well, very funny thing happened to
him in India, | believe-no, t was
China oh, yes-no, it was in Italy, be-
cause it had something to do with ban
dts. But it couldn't have been in Italy,
either; for you remember, father, that
it had something about tigers in it. and
there amt no tigers in ltaly-leastwise
never heard of any there. So it
couldn't have been in Italy. But where
was it, father? You should remember. "
Father is unable to throw any light
on the matter
"How vexatious it is, to be sure, that
can't remember such little thing as
that! Well, wherever it was, the thing
l am going to tell you happened. One
day, when he was travelling alone-no
there must have been somebody with
him, because he told me what he saiC
to somebody or other, and of course he
couldn't have said something to some
body if somebody hadn't been there tt
hear it. And yet he must have beer
alone. AT all events he was travelling
oh! ] have it now! mol wish could re
member his name! Sounds something
like Hickory but of course that WASH
it,"
Perhaps it was Shadbark, venture
"father," facetiously.
"What do you want to Illustrate M
with your nonsense for, fatherP / de
clare, you've put me all out, and l can
/ remember for the life of me what it wa
that happened to him. But | know
was something awfully funny"
Father" has no doubt of it, bu
breathes a prayer of thankfulness t
know that Maria has. run down at last
Boston Transcript.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25
How He Did It.


6w, uh.rehant4.rv sin modest way
Nsstffehn II stree IN ella one das;
AZ j.in IS not hr:Hw lixs4. dtwh they sal
q II sae curb to 81. a qIitt es..4,
Nsr puor wareuase d.d ID Sc merchants
twn,
But every day their stock OF goods was
iiruwn
p.-'i heir hacks and carried ali around.
" ceres of 'brooms'' thro'out the streets
rc>riund
,'B ooms''-"buy a broom each loudly cried
Aud thus 10 st-il their ware these lnerchah's
tried.
H. as they talk d. the conversation turned
u,lon lie profits kat each mi9ht have earned
: r. y a,ipen IT," srld onr you sell so 10"
Ard w. yonr Easine-s daily seems TO grow
MhieilM j now IN high, ard lie Dor too,
a 4 c.tii buy and work a cnenp as you"
N tn. = ron led: you silly elf, a.
! e., - nc stuff and make the rooms myself
Bun, H. outstanding this, il happens SO,
Yea: ., dcrsc.i inc everywhere ! go.
Ana rye y day q Lively trade yOu do.
Ytu' tcck % pond< Keeps on increasing too;
MOI how yuu DO il, and confess
IT Ike 20 kaow tie + cret you possess"
his fl 'ud To tell him Willingly es'ayed.
He sid: II stca my brooms already made"
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25
Good News from Texas.

Mr.. Thomas A. Howard, of Honey Grove, Fan
min County, Texas. under date of April 5, 1888,
writes as follows:
"Ihave been suffering during several years from
severe illness, and general breaking down Of my
physical system, and have tried the treatment and
prescriptions Of many doctors far and near. and
Travelled to the Hot Springs and other springs ia
nous for theirs remedial qualities, drinking the
waters and bathing systematically in their healing
depths, ntallto no avail, as steadily failed In
health; and although informed by my physicians
that my ailments and weaknesses were the result
of kidney disease Of q dangerous character, they
could give me nothing to cure me, Dnring the
past two years my suferings at times were dread
ful, and had the most Undesirable pains in the
regions about the kidneys, the paroxysms Of which
were so severe as to render impossible for to
sleep. While in this deplorable and discouraged
condition l was persuaded to try Hunts Remedy,
and after using less than half bottle my great
sufferings and paroxysms of pain were entirely re
lieved, and could sleep longer and better than
had in two years before, and although am now on
my third bottle only my Improvement is very re-
markable and regret that did not know of the
wonderful curativepower of Hunts Remedy be
FORE it would have saved me years Of suffering
heartily recommend it to all afflicted with any
kidney disease or disease of the urinary organs,
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25
Telling a Story.


"Oh! that puts me in mind of curl
Gus thing / heard when / was in New
York"
Everybody becomes quiet to hear Mrs.
Wobble's story.
She continues" No, t wasn't in
New York, either--yes, it was-ne-but
it must have been; it was the time ]
bought my black grenadine, father, .
turning to her lord and master.
1T was in Philadelphy you bought
your granydine, Maria"
"0h, la! yes; where was 1? Oh. as
was saying, when / was in Philadel-
phia-but it does seem as though it was
In New York-whenI was in Philadel-
phia in--in-- Strange, can't remem-
Der when it wasi Father, what year
was it we were in PhiladelphiaP''
Somewhere in the fifties, Maria;
fifty-six, i believe
care you sure it was fifty-six. fatherp
SEEMS though it wasn't so long ago as
that. Dear me susl how time does fly
However, it doesn't make any difference
when it was. Let's call it fifty-six,
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25
A Tennessee Character.


There is delightful old-time flavor
about the following Tennessee char
acter;
Colonel W was one of those odd
characters who become conspicuous for
their humor and eccentricity, and who
are kept in remembrance long after
they are dead by the many anecdotes
related concerning them. He lived in
one of the counties in Middle Tennes-
see, where for many years he traded in
slaves, a vocation which was not re-
garded favorably even in the South, but
which enabled him to acquire COM
Portable estate. He was widely known
not only as shrewd trader, but as a
genial and fun-loying though rather
self-important man, who was always
ready to turn an easy penny, and who
could tell capital story.
On one occasion he was approached
by Major H, one of the most promi-
nent citizens of M, who wished to
buy a smart, goodlooking young negro
to do service about his stables and
his kitchen. CIT may be well to re-
mark here that in those dnte-betlHDl
days of militia musters military titles
were nearly as common as they are al
the present time.) Major H was Of
one of the first families prided him.
self upon his position in society, was
very dainty and delicate in his tastes,
and was serupulous in drawing nice
social distinctions. Colonel W al
an appointed hour brought up for in.
spection likely mulatto boy, who was
mentally and physically sound, but who
stammered distressingly. As the boy
was not consulted in the matter, he had
only to quietly submit to an examina.
ton, very ike that to which horse is
subjected when offered on the market
After some higgling upon the part Of
the two men, Major H paid good
round sum for the boy, and took his
newly-acquired property home.
The next morning, as the Colonel
was seated in front of the town tavern
with his heels elevated against the bal
listers, Major H advanced toward
him in no pleasant frame of mind, and
without other salutatlon, exclaimed
Colonel W, you have cheated me
sir!"
Without altering his position, the
Colonel looked up calmly, and said, il
his blandest tones, made more provok
ing by his tantalizing lisp: GOOD
morning, Major. You theem to b
thomewhat perturbed. If your remark
wath addrethed to me, hope you will
ecthcuthe me if / inquire to wha
you have referenthe.''
You know very well, sir" replied
the Major, with growing indignation
you deceived me about that negro
bought yesterday. Why, confound it
he shutters so badly he can hardly make
himself understood. 1t is absolutely
painful to try to talk with him.
MY dear sir" responded thu
Colonel, with an air of injured in
nocence, and with sly glance at thu
by-standers, who were ENJOYING tn,
scene, lyon ought not to blame me il
the matter. ! thought you wanted ,
thervant to work for you. If you hat
told me you wanted a niger to con
verth with, would have taken paint
to thelect you better concentration
alitht."
This reply raised laugh at the
Majors expense, and so exasperateC
him he turned abruptly on his heel anc
left the suave Colonel master of thu
situation. HGrper'S Magazine.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25
An so" for an "E.".

At an editorial convention the con-
versation turned on typographical er-
rors. Of course every man present who
had welded Faber for the purpose of
lifting struggling humanity into the
upper strata, where the dazzling rays
OF the bright sun of knowledge should
illume the path, etc, had some remi-
niscence about certain typographical
errors. Joe Peters, of the Blowtown
B"gte, finally got the floor Gentle
men," said he, "see this scar across my
cheek as big as horseshoe; see this
crevasse in my nose whence a portion
has been extracted; see the remaining
half inch of my right ear; examine this
hand and wonder what became of the
thumb and fourth finger; look at. this
stiff leg. All this is the result of get
ting an 90 where an 'e' ought to be.
| had occasion to report a case in Squire
Fields Office, and the evidence of one
of the witnesses did not tally verv well
with the others. This was bic, burly
man, a livery-stable keeper, who might
be able to get away with Sullivan.
incidentally remarked that the witness
was veracious man. Well, gentlemen,
when the Bngle came out the Intelligent
compositor and the equally intelligent
proof-reader had got it voracieus. The
liyery-stahle man saw it before did.
and walked straight into the office, and
, without speaking a word he seized ME
by the hand and broke those fingers so
they had to be amputated; then he
jabbed me against the wall with force
enough to knock out my front teeth,
stopping to inquire whether still
thought he was voracious. Before /
could answer he bit off piece of my
car and asked if took him for the fool
who undertook to eat eighteen goose
eggs in eighteen hours. Then he
slammed me against the imposing-stone
and broke my leg, and mildly inquired
ii he looked like man who would
make bet to assimilate brace of
quail every day for six weeks. Before
| could recover from that assault he
landed an iron inkstand against. my
jaw-bone, with the query whether any
body had told me that he was the party
whe could digest peck of raw oysters
at a sitting. As a parting salute he bit
piece out of my nose and left. After
the doctor had gathered what there was
left of me and set my broken bones. /
asked for copy of the BatgIe and dis
covered what it was that had made him
mad"
did you sue him for damagesPn
asked the crowd
Mot at all. said Peters; a had got
more damages than wanted already"
OIL City Derrick
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25

A queer defence in bigamy case will
shortly be made ia a New York court. A
Mrs. Heuer was married in Westphalia,
and Heuer came to this country and left
her with two or three children on her hands
and in her arms She heard no more from
him, so she left her children with some
friends and eameoyer tolook after Heuer
He had gone to Texas to raise cattle, and
Mrs. Heuer had to go to work in New
York. She went into service at Rocka
way hotel and fell in love with the cook
"a young Otto from Westphalia. The
two wanted to get married but Heuer was
IN the way of the match. She wrote to
her husband, explaining matters, and he
sent her proposition to sell her to Otto
for $50. Otto paid the money, got the
receipt and wife. Now Heuer wants his
wife back again and she refuses to go,
whereupon he has commenced a suit
against her for bigamy. The bill of sale
will be produced in court.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25

Why is it so many suffer from rheu
matism, aches, pains, kidney diseases,
liver complaints, heart affections, etci
is simply because they will not come
and be healed All disease begin from a
want of iron in blood. This want OF
iron makes the blood thin, weary and
impure. Impure blood carries weakness
and distress to every part of the body.
Supply this lack of iron by using Browns
Iron Bittersand you viii soon ind your
self enjoying perfect freedom from aches,
pains. and general i'll healh
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25

For Dyspepsia Indigestion, Depression
of Spirits and General Debility, in their
various forms; also as preventive a.
gainst Fever and Aglie, and other Inter-
mittent Fevers, the "Ferro-P hosphorated
Elixir Of Calisaya, made by CasweIl, Ha-
zard & Co., New York, and sold by all
Druggists, is the best tonic; and for pa.
tients recovering from Fever or other
sickness, it has no equal.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25

According to that standard railroad
annual, Poor'S Manual, for 1883, there
were 49, 29- miles OF railway in the
country at, the close of 1882, the in
crease during the year having been H.
591 miles.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25

A s1ail-carrier in Chautauqus
County, who has kicking horse, has
sewed the beasts ears together at the
tips, in the belief that a horse never
kicks without working his ears, and il
unable to use them will not use his
heels.-M, !. Times.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25

OF the many remedies before the public
for Nervous Debility and weakness of
Nerve denerative System, there is none
equal to Aliens Brain Food, which
promptly and permanently restores al
lost vigor; It never fails. 81 pkg, 8 fol
S5.-Atdruggists,
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25

Please allow me to speak in the highest term
of Hunts Remedy" for it hit my case exactly
had kidney and urinary trouble pretty bad.
was recommended Hunts Remedy. l took one
teaspoonful as directed Ifelt q decided change
at the first dose. too two bottles, and have fell
like a new man ever since. Please receive the
sincere thanks of myself for the benefits which
sought yainly for and found only in Hunts Rem
edy.
will cheerully give this same opinion of Hunt;
Remedy to any one who wishes it by addressing
ROBERT D. ARCHER,
81 Linnsrd Street. Philadelphia.
March IA, 1883.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25
The New York San, in an article Of

The New York San, in an article on
the republican downfall" thus sums up
its'rcasons for believing that party cannot
long survive: Never did a party sink
from greatness toward more disgraceful
end. 1t now has no principle, no convic-
lions. no honesty. 1t advocates no
Legislation by which it touches the popu-
lar heart. It sits shamelessly with one
hand in the public till, and with the other
points with pride" to the record OF the
few years in which it was undiscovered;
aud upon that record it asks to be allowed
to keep on stealing. Its own voters can
find in it, as it exists today, nothing to
inspire enthusiasm or even respect. Its
york was done long ago. 1t can succeed
no longer on false pretenses. Its time has
come"
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25

The cigar is .driving out the pipe in
Germany. During the past year there
were consumed in the German Customs
Union $3.50, 100000 cigars, of the
weight of 81 ,565 tons, and the value of
249, 269, 900 marks, against $3.50 tons
of tobacco, of the value of AZ, 249, 900
marks.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25

Mr. Frank Juno, 900 Wood street;
Chicago. nl..says: Il used Browns Iron
Bitters and found it excellent for heart
burn and Indigestion
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25

The Boston Advertiser commends
the establishment in schools of branches
designed to fit boys and girls for clerks.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25

Pensions :E ;:;s :! s:;::.;
rents entitled when death resulted. Claims re-
opened, restaestion, increases, bounty, back pay
and discharges obtained. Apply at once, delay
prejudices yor rights. Fees fixed by law. Adj
dress, with stamp, the old established firm OF ED
son q CO., Attorneys and Claim Agents, 9l7, F
St., Washington, D. c.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-09-25
Medical.
Dr.CLARKF'

The REGULAR OLD FsT,n az.
LlsEED PHYSICIAN and nd ~ ! 4 y
dEON DR.. CLARKE, at fb 90 ~ i
number continues to trest , III. Gi9
his usual GREAT skill WIN aI
PRIVATE, CHRONIC. YFs w
Gus and SPECIAL DISEASES
DR.. CLARKE is the oldest "a "a
The daily Cairo bulletin., 1883-04-21
Greeley 0utdone in Pol;tensss.

Before the days Of railroads Greeley
left Utica one morning in a stage coach.
His only fellow-passenger was a gentle.
man of prepossessing appearance, with
whom he fell into conversation.
After awhile the stranger drew a cigar
case from his pocket and offered It's con.
tents 70 Mr.. Greeley for him to take
from it cigar He. declined the polite
offer, and the conversation was resumed.
Presently the gentleman, taking cigar
from the case, put 1t In his mouth, and
returned the case to his pocket While
they were talking he abruptly but court
sously remarked to Mr. Greeley;
II hope, sir, you have no objection to
u cgar?"
None in the world, answered Gree
ley, when it is not lighted. "
oh replied the gentleman, II had
not the remotest thought of lighting it,
Then and there said Mr. Greeley,
laughing was the only time ever was
beaten in politeness. afterwards as.
certained that my victor was the famous
Capt. Sherman, Of Lake Chamrlain."
The daily Cairo bulletin., 1883-04-21
Remember This,

Ii you are sick Hop Bi,,ers will surely
l Mature in making you well when all
e fails.
lfyou are costive or dyspeptic, or are
)tfering from any other OF the numerous
,eases OF the stomach or bowels, il is your
n fault if you remain Ill, for hop Bitters
+ sovereign remedy in oil such CON-
hints.
II you are wasting away with any form
Kidney disease, stop tempting Death
s moment, and turn for cure to Hop
tiers.
If you are sick with that terrible sick.
So Nervousness, you will find "Bslm In
lead in the use Of Hop Bitters,
If you are a frequenter, or resident OF
smatic district, barricade your system
anst the scourage of all countries--m
rial, cpedemic, bilious, and intermittent
vers by the use of Hop Bitters.
II you have rough, pimply, or sallow
in, bad breath, pains and aches, and feel
serable generally, Hop Bitters will give
u fair skin, rich blood, and sweetest
cath, health and comfort.
In short they cure all diseases OF the
bmach, Bowels, Blood, Liver, Kidneys,
fights Disease. $500 will be paid for a
Sc they will not cure or help. ...
That poor bedridden, invalid wife, sister,
bther, or daughter can be made the pic
ke of health, by few bottles Of Hop
tiers, costing but triae. will you lei
EN- suGerl g.,
The daily Cairo bulletin., 1883-04-21
DONGOLA LETTER.

Jouesboro, the county seat of Union
county, the home of Thomas Benton and
the saloon keepers heaven, has "gone and
done aud did IT," "Has done what2"
"Voted down saloon liceuse" Well done,
old Jonesb ,ro; we had despaired Of ever
living to see you fall in line with other
anti.saloons towns, having often seen you,
when to all human appearance, all the
waters Of all the rivers could not have
washed you clean, But contrary to our
predictions, few days ago We learn that
you have commenced redeeming yourself.
Spring is now fully here and our orna-
mental shrubberry is in in bloom, and every
thing In the vegetable line is on big
boom. Wheat is coming on finely and the
indications are we shall have big yield OF
wheat. The strawberry fields are white
with bloom, aud in few weeks we shall
be fessting on short cake, etc. Orchards
promise an abundant yield. Of fruit and the
indications are that the grumbler will have
10 got up aud dust, or keep bis mouth
shut. 4.44 ,o ftta.ta
Wc want TO keep it before tho public
that we have ample room u md near Don.
COLA, for a number Of frst-class gardeners
and orchardists. DR.. Keesee, l.. T. Bona