Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-02-26

gan his Invocation He had come on the stage
IN great excitement, and after speaking few
minutes, set his hat on the stump of tree on
one side near the wings. He tore around with
the utmost ylgor, and a moment later raised
MS arms IN the air, and in ringing voice be-
gan MS appeal on high. After he had spoken
one sentence he wheeled around, stepped to
the back OF the stage, seized his new plate
crowned stovepipe hat, placed it firmly ON his
head, tipped little over his left eve, and con
tlnued his appeal to heaven. 1t was too much
for the audience, The idea of a man putting
on nlneteenth century plug hat especially
TO enforce his appeal for succOr to his Creator
was too much for the risibilities, and there
was howl all the house. but
Mr.. ONeill continued, and went off the
stage, and really did not know what he had
| done until ii was explained to him afterwards
He has since said that the thing is utterly be-
yond any solution. He cannot for the life of
nm imagine what thoughts actuated him, and
| would refuse to believe the thing had he not
found the hat on his head when he went out.
lie was carried away with his own emotions
and knew nothing of his actions. 1t was not a
| good thing for him to do in an artistic sense
certainly, and was very ludcrous to those
who witnessed it.. But it has advertised him
| more than ten columns in the local papers or
! five hundred three-sheet posters would have
| done.
1t is generally conceded that no man can
Dlunder so thoroughly and disastrously as a
| Coroner. All COroners blunder and they diner
only In degree. | suppose a volume of con-
siderable dimensions could be printed with
| the history of extraordinary verdicts rendered
| by COrOners and their juries. Their unrelia-
bihty has become prOyerbial. | suppose that
every city thinks Its own COrOners are pre-
| eminent in laundering, but all.cities will pale
in comparison with New York. We have
man here, Merkle by name, who is undoubt-
| edly the blue-ribbon ass of the universe. That
man man cannot cannot DO anything properly. He has
| into his office, and his blunders are of such
| colossal magnitude that they have attracted
Ihe o attention ndenido Of the entire population.
! cial career. He is now known throughout
! the length and breadth of the State
and has only been in office a few months. Be-
fore he has finished his term he will in all pro-
| blllty have established reputation which will
! send his name down to pOsterity. The first
| thing he did when he came into Office was to
insist on holding an inquest in a very import
ant murder case in the German language
| Most COroners consider English good enough
for them, but Merkle had original ideas, and
| he started in early to express them. He un-
| derstood German better than he did English
and that was enough for him. So the first
| thing he did was to secure jury that under
| stood German. This was accomplished with
! out much difficulty. Then he called his wit
! nesses. The case under consideration was the
murder of man named Guttermuth, who
| had been foully killed ON Broadway while
/ walking with lady. 1t was fragrant out
rage and demanded the strictest Investigation
but through the stupidity and laundering
instincts of our friend Merkle nothing
came of 1t, and it remains to-day almost as
much mystery as ii was then. However
having secured his jury, he prepared to re-
were called up one by one. The first thing
that Merkle asked them was whether theY
spoke German or not. Those who did were
examined at great length and with immense
forensic ability by Merkle in the language of
the fatherland, but those who did not talk
German were dismissed with a few words
This was keen and highminded way of get
ting at the entire truth of the case Accord
ing to Merkle one witness who understood
German was worth eight witnesses who did
not understand it. Unfortunately none of the
reporters who attended the INQUEST cOuld
speak the language Merkle loves SO dearly. |
and consequently nothing could be written
about the case that was then exciting the Mt
most public interest. AS may be readily imag-
med, some remark was caused by this extra
ordinary proceeding of Merkle, but it did not
make the slightest impression on that haDpv
functlonary. He went on as before |
originating new and striking ideas in the
management of his office. There is a wide !
spread impression, apparently based on sound |
principles, that the recent pronounced dimi- |
mutton in'the number of suicides in the CITY |
was entirely due to the influence of Mer- |
kle. Men do not object to self murder but |
they could not stand the prospect of having |
Merkle sitting on their remains. Most men |
are willing to commit suicide, but they hate |
to be misunderstood. Well, Merkle went on /
In ms extraordinary course until about two |
weeks ago, when he originated the scheme |
which has boosted him up to the topmost rung /
of his nOtOriety He conceived the idea of a |
having a notable jury, and to that end sub |
p9naed nearly all of the most prominent men |
in town. Jay Gould, William IL. Vanderbilt |
hussen sage, James keene, eX-President
Grant. three OF the eX-Mayors, all the promi-
nent clergymen, William NJ. Evarts, Chann-
cey Depew, Hamilton Fish, John Jacob AstOr
and indeed everybody who had risen to
any sort of eminence in town were sum-
moned to attend the great Merkle Jury
The case under consideration was tile
killing by maniac in the Bellevue Hospital
OF fellow patient, Merkle expected all these
great men to come and sit on this Jury 1t
never occurred to him that they would not
come, and when the day approached he began
N 10 fhnn o11a I
they simply refused to come. A few of the
less eminent ones sent excuses such as illness
press of business and the like, but most of
them cOntented themselves with a note insnu-
atlng that they would not come because thev |
appreciated it was only Merkle who sent for
them, and Merkle was not of enough conse-
struck Merkle as being rather good Joke. and
in no way derogatOry to his self respect
book might be written on his wild innova-
lions, put IL cannot be completed until Mer- |
kle's term expires. We have the utmost con-
fidence in him. He will not rest where he is |
now; the probabilities are that he will go on |
IN ms brilliant career until he falls dead from |
an excess OF brain power. or is mObbed by the
outraged citizens,
Orthodox people are fond of attributing a
disgraceful death, or a death fraught with ter !
ror and remorse, as the ultimate fate of unbe-
levers. For a long time ignorant clergvmen
depicted Tom Paine dying of delirium tremens
in dirty den in Baltimore, and despair
and horror filling his soul during intervals of |
reason. All this has been proved untrue but
orthodoxy can still rejoice over the recanta- |
tion of VOltaire, which Parton, his latest biO0ra |
pher, and likewise freethinker, can onIy eX-
plain away on the ground that the famous |
Frenchman consented to receive the last |
offices of the church merely to obtain burial /
in consecrated ground. In other words, Vol
taire died a hypocrite, although none had |
scorned hypocrisy so much as he-an end GER
tainly more disgraceful than the real recan-
tation attributed to him. The same
spirit which surrounded the dying
bed of Paine with despair and
disgrace has apparently put IN the mouth of
the late DIR. Draper, the astronomer. who was
an agnOstic, final words of honor. 1t is re-
ported that, when entirely rational, he sud
denly exclaimed, II feel that / am on the
brink OF precipice-I am going Overr' and
died. Whether true or not, there are reported
among his friends and acquaintances to be the
last words of man who did so much to rem
der the researches of American astronomy IA
nous in the annals of science.
Much Indignation is rampant among Episco-
palians over the cOnYersOn-ssperyersio /"
they llit-of Father Bjerring formerIvpastor
of the no longer existing Russo Greek Church
in Second avenue, to Presbyterianism. They
claim that, n Mr. Bjerring abandoned the faith |
Of his fathers. consistency called him to a
church which, like the Greek, has a ritual
and whose worship was not bare of incentives
to devotion.
Mr.. Bjerring has certainly made a mistake
so far as his ambition to get into fashionable
society is concerned. For, as a local paper |
recently not untruly said, while all EpiscO- |
palians are not fashionable, nearly all fashion
able people are Epscopalians. The report
that Mr.. Bjerring is a spy in the pay of the
Russian Government, which before this has |
caused many to look upon him askance, will |
probablySbe revived in all its original iuxu- |
Rance in order'to punish his ''perYersion T"
Miss Chamberlaine, the now famous Ameri- |
can beauty, Is coming back to America She
will return sometime during the summer
and lntends TO make round of the various !
watering places. Her mother will of course
accompany her, Probably no American girl |
has ever created SO great q Sensation abroad |
as Miss Chamberlaine. She arrived in
London when Mrs. Cornwallis West
and Mrs; Langtry were rivals as
professional beauties, and easily took
Prince of W ales saw Miss Chamberlaine. and
was enchanted. Her followed her into Ger
many and dined with her and her mother sew
eral times week. In opposition to the Jersey [
Lilly she was styled the "ROse of the West"
and has ever since that time been the particu- :
lar pet OF LONDON society. She is unquestona-
ply remarkably beautiful woman. She came ;
from cleveland originally, and has several l
sisters younger than herself who lay no less
claim TO beauty than Miss Chamberlaine. No |
scandal has ever been associated with her !
name. although the notoriety forced upon her
by the attention of the Prince of Wales was
often far beyond the limits of good TASTE So
pronounced were the attentions of his nibs
at one time, that they called forth the resent |
ment of the Princess, who openly cut Miss
Chamberlaine at ball and refused to meet |
her at a dinner given short time afterwards !
his attention, and for once ia his
life seems to have been thoroughly
honorable. The English papers discussed the
subject at great length, aud Miss Chamber
lame enjoyed the honor Of being the most