The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1883-04-14

surrounding unc instruments uutSt
into flames. In some of the engine
houses the men were driven out by
the play of electric flames.
''.roo full for utterance' Dead
drunk.
One can learn TO play on the tele-
phone by ear.
Young lady-''Isn't this child a
little Frcnclman?" Nursc-'I can
not tell; the father is German, the
mother French" Young lady-"Ah,
then we shall not be able to find out
until the little fellow can speak,
Brooklyn young man who comes
to bid his sweetheart good-by-
"Well, Lizzie, I'm off for Cincinnati
tonight" Lizzie, whose counte-
nance is expressive of the utmost
alarm-'Off for Cincinnati Why,
gracious heavens, Charley, 1 thought
you told me you couldn't SWIM"
Rev. Mr.. Talmage says the eye
winks thirty thousand times day.
When the owner of that eye enters
drug store, the clerk behind the soda
water fountain can pick the right
wink out of hundred the first time.
Mr.. Talmage fails to explain this
wonderful mind-reading power on
the part of the clerk.
"What's the crowd about?"
asked stranger, as lie noticed Il
stream of visitors going into
fashionable residence. "It's silver
wedding" obligingly replied his in
formant. "What's silver wedding?"
"Why, chap has been married
twenty-five times, and he's celebra-
TIM of it,
"What dye leave that door wide
open for?" exclaimed the gentleman
in the Office to the intruding ped
dler. "Oi thought, SURF" was the
quick reply, ''that We moight want
to kick me down stairs, and Oh
wanted to make it convanient for We,
SURF" The gentleman was SO taken
aback that he bought two apples for
five cents, passing off bad quarter
in the transaction.
An Austin young lady, who has
enjoyed the advantages of classical
, education at Northern female col
, legc, happened to be at home when
her aged grandmother was stricken
down with fatal illness. The ell
f tire family gathered around the
, deathbed of the old lady, who in Il
, feeble voice said: "Good-by to you
, all; l am gwine ter peg out"
, Grandmother! exclaimed the
young lady, in a tragic tone of
voice, "please don't say that. Don't
say you are gwine to peg out. Say
: you are going to expire or that you
, contemplate approaching dissolution.
1t sounds so much BETTER
The fashion of men wearing brace
lets, the Court Journal says, is on
l the increase in England among the
aristocratic circle, thus following the
example set by royalty. 1t is, Of
| course, purely continental in its
; origin, the Austrian and Italian gen.
t tlemen especially favouring the
fancy; but it makes only slow
progress among the Parisians. We
. see by a photograph of the heir APP
= = parent of the Austrian throne that
i the Archduke Rodolph wears {
!, massive bracelet and chain. Til.
!, King of Italy also in his latest port
= raft displays bracelet.
:, During the palmy days of the III
come tax, and when blanks wcr,
!, mailed to even tailors' apprentices
II a farmer living near Columbus, Ohio
o called upon a lawyer in that city and
said: "rm afraid I'll have to pay
an income tax on about $780, SIS
!. that so? That would be too bad
"Yes the bare idea makes me fee
a terrible. ! want to figure with 70,
q and see if we can't beat the Govern
es ment." The two sat down and wen
d over income and expenses a dozei
II times over, but figure as they would
Is there was $500 on which income
should be paid, "I.have i'll hav
N it'll" suddenly exclaimed the lawyc
d as a light broke in on him. "Yo,
must return $500 as lent on not
II for year; I'll give you my note
&c take the money, and Uncle Sam ma,
10 whistle" "I'll be hanged if l dom
IS do it - cried old cornstalk; ant