St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1883-06-02
The Bad Boy.

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store one morning, leaving the door
open, and picked up cigar stub that
had been thrown down by the stove,
and began to smoke it. fsf# III
Shut that door dun you. Was you
brought up i'll a saw mill No, l
haven't got vaseline :? What do you
want of vasaline? said the grocery
man, as he set the syrup keg on a chair
by the stove where it would tliaw out
Want to rub it on pas legs, said the
boy, as he tried to draw some smoke
through the cigar stub.
Why, what is the matter with your
pas leg 2 Rheumatism
Wuz nor rhumatiz, said the boy as he
threw away the cigar stub and drew
some cider in broken tea cup. Pa has
got the worse looking hind legs you
ever saw. You see, since there has been
SO many fires pa has got Orful scared,
and he has bought three fire. escapes,
made out of ropes with knots in them,
and he has been telling us every day
how he could rescue the whole family
in case Of fire. He told US to be cool,
whatever happened, and to rely on him.
IL the house cot on fire we We're all to
rush to pa, and he would save us. Well,
last night ma had to go to one OF the
neighbors, where they We're to have
twins, and we didn't sleep much, cause
she had to come home twice ID the night
to get saffron, and an old flannel pet
ticoat that broke in when was KID,
cause the people where ma went did
not know as twins was in the bill of
fare, and they only had flannel petit
coats for one. Pa was cross at being
kept awake and told ma he hoped when
all the children in Milwaukee We're
born, and got groWed up, she would
take in her sign aud not go around
nights acting as usher at baby matt
nees. Pa says there ought to be law
that babies should arrive on the regu-
lar trains, and not wait for the midnight
express. Well, pa he got asleep, and
he slept till about eight O'Clock IN
the morning, and the blinds were closed,
and it was dark in his room, and had
waited for my breakfast till was hun
CRY as wolf, and the girl told me to
wake pa up, so | went up stairs, and
don't know what made me think OF it,
but had some of this powder they
make red fire with in the theater, that
me and my chum had the Fourth OF
July, and I put it in Il wash dish in the
bathroom, and | touched it Off and
hollered fire. / was going to wake pa
up and then tell him that it was all
right. and laugh at him. guess there
was too mnch fire, or yelled to loud.
cause ga jumped out of bed and grabbed
a rope and rushed through the hall to,
say something, but pa ran over me and
told me to save myself, and got to the
back window to tell him there was no
fire lust as he let himself out OF the
window. He had one leg OF the rope
tied to the washstand, and he climbed
down the back side OF the shed by the
kitchen, with nothing on but his night
shirt. didn't blame the hired help for
being scared when they saw pa and his
legs come down outside the window,
and when they yelled l went down to
the kitchen, and they said a crazy man
with no clothes but pillow case
around his neck was trying to kick the
window in, and they ran into the par
Tor and opened the door and let pa in
the kitchen. He ased me if any one
else was saved, and then told him
there was no fire, aud he must have
dreamed he was in hell, or somewhere.
Well pa was astonished, and said he
must be wrong in the head, and [ left
him tl,awing himself by the stove
while went after his pants, and his
legs were badly chilled, but / guess
nothing was froze. He lays it all to
ma, and says if she would stay at home
and let people run their own baby
shows, there would be more comfort in
the house. Ma came in with a shawl
over her head and bowl full of some
thing that smelled frowy, and after she
had told us what the result of the visit
was. she sent me after vaseline to rub
pas legs. Pa says that he has demon
strated that if man is cool and col
lected, in case of fire, and goes delibe-
rately at work to save himself, he will
come out all right.
Well, you are the meanest boy.I ever
heard of, said the grocery man. But
what about your pas dancing a clog
dance in the church Sunday. The min
ister's hired girl was in here after some
Goldfish yesterday morning, and she
said the minister said your pa scandal
lied the church in the worst way.
Oh, he didn't dance in church. He
was a little excited, that's all. You see,
pa chews tobacco, and, and it is pretty
hard on him to sit all through the SER
mon without taking chew, and he gets
nervous. He always reaches around in
his pistol pocket when they stand up to
sing the last time, and feels in his to-
bacco box and gets out chew and
puts it in his mouth when the minister
pronounces the benediction, and when
they get out doors he is already to spit.
He always does that. Well, my chum
had present on Christmas of a music
box, just as big as pas tobacco box, and
all you have to do is to touch a spring
and it plays She's a daisy, she's
dumpling.' borrowed it
and put it in pas pistol-poeket,
where lie keeps his tobacco box, and
when the choir got most through sing
ing pa reached his hand in his pocket
and began to tumble around for chew.
He touched the spring, and just as
everybody bowed their heads to receive