davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19
Caps on the Rise.

Two men, apparently just from the
country, stood at stand on West Street
examining some caps. The proprietor
of the stand was an Italian. While his
back WAS turned the younger one
pocketed cap. He then bought five-
cent box of blacking, and with his COM
panion entered beer saloon next door.
A small boy, who had seen the theft,
told the Italian of his loss. The Italian
hailed a patrolman. "Offica, offica,"
said he. 'a man steals my capa. Wanta
have i'm locka up
"Where is the manP' the officer in.
quired.
"Come-ah me-ah showa you," said
the Italian.
He led the way to the saloon and
pointed out the man who had taken the
cap.
:'My friend" said the patrolman,
''this man accuses you of stealing a cap.
What have you to say?''
The young man seemed surprised
why" he replied, 'smy father paid hin
for it; didn't you,' father?' turning to
his companion.
mo" answered the older man, 81
didn't. 1 thought you paid for it.''
swell, then, it s all mistake" said
the young man. I'm willing to pay
for the cap. How much do you wan,
for it?" turning to the Italian.
The patrolman whispered to the son
of Italy.
Eye capa wortha two-a dolla," was
the reply.
Two dollarsr' repeated the young
man, in astonishment. dropping hi:
cigar. why, you had it marked fifty
cents on your stand"
"Me wanta two-a dolla now," the
Italian persisted. "Capa gone up,''
winking at the patrolman.
The young man hesitated. He glanced
at the officer and said: "Weil, sup
pose III have to pay you what you ask. y
He drew roll of bank notes from hi:
pocket and passed the Italian a two
dollar bill. The knot of byslander:
smiled, and the Italian returned to hi
stand. Meeting the officer later, hi
asked: ''Offica, you weara suspend
ees?"
"No," answered the patrolman, {"
wear belt.''
"Wella." said the Italian, .'if some
time all you wanta silka suspendeecome
ah here and they no costs you cent. ,
-Detr0H Free Press.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

DIR. Arnold said that he preferreds 8
Christian and gentlemen, an active
man, and one who has common sense
and understands boys, to high scholar
ship.
"A Tennessee school-master kissed
the girls as punishment, and before the
trustees put . stop to the practice it took
him about an hour per day to requite
their disobedience.
One hundred and fifty italian chill
dren are attending Protestant Mission
Sunday-school in New York City. An
Italian branch of the Young Mems
Christian Association of that city has
been organized.
"A tablet has been placed in the
Center Church, New Haven, in memory
of Rev. James Pierpont, of the class Of
1851 Harvard University. who was pastor
of the parish from 1855 to 1714. He was
one of the founders of Yale College.
i'm the kingdom of Siam all college
students are allowed but two wives.
This is shameful. They are putting
more rules on every year. After while
they will probably be limited to one. The
freshmen should certainly kick. College
Mercury.
Professor Blackie once chalked on
his notice board in college: ssThe Pro-
fessor is unable to meet his classes to-
morrow A waggish student removed
the &C." leaving classes" When the
Professor returned he noticed the new
| rendering. Equal to the occasion the
Professor quietly rubbed out the ''l' and
Joined in the hearty laughter of the asses.
MIR. Spurgeon, of London, has de-
clared himself against the Salvation
Army. In the new number Of bis mag
azine he writes. T" 1t is time that some
body spoke, now that the attempt is
made to make men religious by turning
all religion into game of soldiers, Be-
cause they would not hinder anything
that promised well. Christian men have
borne with much that grieved them, but
| there is point beyond which long
| fering charity cannot 60. That point is
nearly reached; even the most ultra toll
Grant must feel that hope has been dis
appointed, and fear now takes its place."
Bishop Coke, in letter to the Buffa-
10 On. Y. Erpress says the church wants
to coerce no clergyman into belief in its
creed, but it does insist that when he has
departed from the creed he shall 60 out
of the church. That is entirely reasons
BILE, and if the backslider. the progress
sionist, or whatever he thinks himself, has
any self-respect he wilfvoluntarily leave
the establishment he has ceased to be IN
harmony with, and not wait to be inyi.
ted or kicked out of it. And if his con-
gregation chooses to stand by him it will
do the same thing; not that it and its
favorite are not right. but that churches,
like other institutions, must be consist
ent and must stand by and vindicate
their articles of faith.-N. r Graphic.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19
A Mouse's Nest Made Of Bank Notes.

A workman employed at houss
building at Is Avenue de Versailles, in
Paris, was disagreeably surprised the
other day to find that sum of 2,00C
francs in bank notes he had hidden in
cellar for safety had disappeared. The
pocket-book which had contained the
notes was there, lying open, but there
were no signs of the notes. On search
ing well. however, some small frag-
ments of paper were seen lying about,
and the master builder, NJ. Picard, who
had come forward at once, thought that
mice might be the thieves. Following
the direction of the fragments he had
the flooring taken up Of room above
used as an office, and in which fire had
been lighted, and there near the stove
was found mouse's nest lined with the
precious paper, nibbled into small
pieces. These were collected and taken
, to the Bank of France. where the notes
will be reconstructed if possible; and If
the numbers can be ascertained other
notes will be given by the hank in ex-
change for those lacerated. d.---FTepch
Paper.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

-"Yes," SAID. the landlord, pointing
to his block of new houses, ''they re all
full, 'cept the one at the end. That's
last, but not leased" n $50
German geographers propose to
christen portion Of the Northern ocean
the Nordenskjold sea. Don't, it's kjold
enough now--Lo,oeu Courier. 8rssr
Mrs General Tom Thumb would go
shopping oftener than she does if she
had more money. Her husband is always
little short.-M o. Ricay,tue. 5a7
7 The latest novelty is a looking glass
upon whose surface can be found indi-
cations of clear sky or coming storms.
Such looking-gl should be placed
upon the weather bureau. Philadel lphia
Bulletin.
:.Av We place, sor," said Mrs. Nc.
Carthy, "me ould man sent me here for
to buy him a pair o. shoes" "What
size," madam?'' asked the dealer. '6.
the biggest ye have, shure, the ould
mans fate is unlimited. ."-Elevated
Railroad Journal.
Fashionable young club men of New
York, sans aims and sans brains, who
ape the British snob in their dress, are
called ssdudes." We don't see much
economy in the new name. The old
title, '.idiots," contains only one more
letter. -Norristo,cs Herald. @
Fifteen genuine Sioux Indians, who
are seeing Gotham, amuse the people at
hotel BY eating with their hands and
dressing outlandishly. As they wear
silk hats they think they are civilized.
This is very common mistake among
other people besides Indians.
| Citizen.
A Frenchman, learning the English
language, complains of the irregularity
Of the verb "to CO." the present tense Of
which some wag had written outfor him
as follows: s.Igo, thou startest, he de.
parts. We lay tracks, you cut sticks,
they absquatulate or skedaddle.
Mrs. Josiah Fender is a very simple
sort of q woman. An old gentleman by
the name of Ryckman and his wife
moved into the vicinity of the Fender
mansion, on Austin Avenue. Mrs.
Fender, who is very neighborly, baked a
nice cake and took it over to the new ar
rivals. 81 have brought over some cake
for Mr.. Ryckman's children" said Mrs.
Fender. "But we have never had any
children" said Mrs. Ryckman. ''Well,
then, give it to your grandchildren" "
said Mrs. Fender.-Teras s filings.
1t is said that word once spoken
isnever lost, but goes on circling around
the heavenly spheres forever and ever
The stories. jokes and witty sayings now
doing duty were current with our fathers
and our fathers fathers. So with news
paper curiosities. Here is aquaint dog
gerel that has just started afresh on it
endless round:
Miss Flora McFlimsey McVeigh
Went sailing In Wallabout beigh
When her lover met her. upset her, and wet he
Ali over with old oceans spreigh.
Miss Flora she thought 1t quite rough,
And called her bold lover q morgh;
But her lover he caught her, and taught he
that water,
Like riches, is unstable slough.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19
ADDITIONAL NEWS.

1T IS said that the defendants in the Star
route trial expect to hang the jury. They
will sue the New York Times for $5O0,OOe
damages, and other papers that have urged
their prosecution for proportionate sums.
EARTHQUAKES are reported of almost
daily occurrence at Panama, but they have
caused no damage. The seven men arrested
for having stolen $4,000 from the Panama
Railroad Co. have been set free.
NELLIE HUBBARD, the daughter of ex-
Governor Hubbard, who, four years ago,
eloped with her fathers coachman, has Sc
cured a divorce from him.
THE bodies of Mrs. Il. Ziepfreicht, wife
of a well known druggist of Dubuque,
Iowa, and three-year-old boy were found
at the bottom of q 1fty-foot well few
days ago. 1t is supposed the woman threw
the child into the well and jumped in her.
self.
CHARLES e. ENDIcoTT has instituted pro.
ceedings against Representative Andrew
j. Browne, of Boston, for a malicious per.
sonal attack in the Legislature. Endicott
claims $4,000 damages.
On the 18th the steamship HISTORIAN
landed in Boston six hundred and fifty
wretchedly poor Irish immigrants, the
expense of whose voyage was paid by the
English Government. The Parthia brought
q less number of the same class. They will
be sent into the interior by the steamship
| company. Sixty.nine evicted farmers from
Galway and Mayo, landed in Philadelphia
They were accompanied by Rev. Bernard
8. Kelly, who had been sent over by the
Archbishop Of Tuam to raise money for the
relief of sufferers in his diocese.
THE probable decrease reported in the
area of growing wheat in Great Britain is
fifteen per cent, and in France ten pei
cent. There Is also reduction of the area
in Russia. In Austria and Hungary the
full breadth has been sown, but the condi
tion Of the plant is not generally favorable
WHILE q train on the West Shore Rail
road was passing through Newburg, N. Y.
on the 18th, about fifty feet of the great
stone wall on Third street showed out and
crashed into the City Hotel. The engine
The hotel was considerably damaged.
There was nobody hurt.
THE new Postmaster General.has refused
to recognize the right of Chalmers, of Mis-.
lsissippi, to control the Federal patronage
lof that State.
A HUSBAND and wife, living near Deca
ltur, Ala, Sakes by name, were killed with
Ian axe in the hands of ruffian known a.
Jesse Campbell, on the 14th.
THE Charleston Is. CO. Presbytery ha.
erased from the Church Constitution thu
clause forbidding a man to marry his de
ceased wife's sister.
A DISPATCH from Moscow says over tw,
Thousand persons have been arrested fo
lplotting against the life OF the Gear.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19
YOu Wantee Buy2

Since the sounding of the cry: ''The
Chinese must gor' Cinnamon in San
Francisco hare suffered so much perBe-
ctItion that they have become suspicious
of all Americans who come prying about
their quarters. Before trading they wish
to be sure that the visitor is a customer
and has come to buy and not to tease
them. But when they are sure that he
means ''business," it is amusing to see
how eager they are to get the highest
prices for their wares.
Two gentlemen from the east had an
experience of this kind in San Francisco
not long ago. While visiting Chinese
shops in search of peculiar kind of tea
pot, they found in one shop four China
men around table in the back part of
the store, drinking tea. Near the door
was another, with queer pen in his
hand, like . little paint-brush, appa-
rently squaring up accounts. He looked
at them forbiddingly, as they asked:
"Haye you any teapo:s in padded
baskets to keep the tea warm. ?"
NO. was the curt reply. --.
"Why, saw one in the window.
Mol
Yes did; look here"
mo; no sav-ee Mclean" (dou't under
stand English).
At this juncture one of the tea-drink-
ers, who had been listening .attentively,
came forward and asked, in stern
voice:
"You wantee buyp''
"Yes of course we do" replied the
Americans.
"You wantee buy tleapotP'''
a Eyes like that. How much is itP''
"You wantee buyP" still persisted the
Chinaman.
"Yes yesi How much is it?''
"onetollar four bittee'' Zone dollar
and half).
"a dollar and four bits! Why, a
friend Of mine bought one just like that
for six bits!' (seventy-five cents).
"Ugh! You no wantee buy;" and the
man turned to put up the teapot.
rsHere! don't put it up. I'll give you
six bits s3for it,
"Yoa gottee moneyp'' said the Gees.
tial, shfewdly.
yes look here" and one of the
| visitorsdrew from his pocket purst
containing several pieces of silver.
| At sikht OF the money the Chinaman
COuNtuSUu euts1 q eio1o was ih1CuuCu
girded himself for bargain, for he wa
eager to sell.
"Me sell him one tollar two bittee."
'No. six bits, l tell you, and that
allr'
"China plice, one tollar one bittee
Me no gettee plofit.'
..Six bits. Will you sell? That's al
I'll give.''
After further haggliug. the Chinamal
came down in his price and sold tn
teapot for seventy-five cents. Suspicion
seldom prevents their. taking man
money; and the ''plofits" seem satisfac
tory. even when they receive but half O
the asking price. Youth's C,n,panto,1
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19

"A woman of one of the interior
towns of Pennsylvania has introduced a
startling innovation into the time-hon-
ored custom of giving birthday parties:
She insisted that each guest, instead Of
purchasing present at random, should
contribute fifty cents, and that she should
thus be left free to buy such presents as
she might want. Every minister's wife
in Pennsylvania will rise up and call this
woman nblessed.-Chicdgo Herald.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19
The ministering hand of gent

The ministering hand Of gentle
woman has been felt again. this time in
Pawtuoket, r. I. A child in one of the
schools there whistled. The teacher
asked who it was. and failing to find out
flogged the whole school, with one ex-
ception, girl who chose to be turned
out instead. There were fifty-eight
scholars, and fifty-seven of them got five
blows apiece with NATURALIZATION Post
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19

The captain of an ocean steamer
lately served out to the crew some OF
the cabin roast beef. The crew sent q
man to the captain in remonstrance.
The captain tasted the meat, and find.
ing it all right, demanded the cause OF
complaint. "Well, SIR" said the
spokesman, shifting his quid, we don't
like it; there amt no chaw in it SIR"
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19

-"You know, sir,' said the Judge
sternly to the man charged with biga-
my, g that the law allows you but one
wife" Fright you are, Judge" re-
piled the fellow; land reckon I can
get along with the one the law lows me
and the one took on my own count.
IT any rate, I'm willing to try it for a
SPELL" Unfortunately for the biga-
mist, he got his ''spell'' behind the graf
inOs
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19

-"Facts are stubborn things" said
a barrister to female witness under
examination. eyes, SIR" said the wit
ness, land so are women; and if you
get anything out of me just let me know
ft.'' you'll be committed for con-
tempt" said the lawyer. Very well, "
said the witness; 81 shall suffer justly.
for I have the utmost contempt fol-
every lawyer present.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19

"A San Francisco broker feared to
exhibit genuine money in his window and
therefore had brass co interieits and i'm
itated greenbacks made. He must have
exhibited too much, for twice in two
weeks the seventy dollar plate-glass
window has been broken by hoodlums
desirous of making off with what they
thought must be enormous riches
San Francisco Chronicle.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19

There is in Dayton, Ohio, an aged
man who has, ever since he was eleven
years old, when he earned his first dollar,
kept an account of all financial transac-
tions of his life. The figures tell charm
ing story of life's battles; how he twice
struck stumbling block and fell and
each time started out afresh to regain
what he had lost. Enough money to
make a score of fortunes has passed
through his hands. and though he has
given thousands upon thousands to
charity he has still $500, 600 left.-Cleue-
land Leader.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19
GladstOne's Lost Finger.

Mr.. Gladstone is fond of the open air,
but field-sports have never been his
forte. It is not known that he ever rode
after the hounds, and for many years he
has not fired a fowling piece. The
reason for his absence from the moors
and preserves, so dear to most English
men, is thus given by the London Stand
ard:
Dozens of members of Parliament have
probably sat in the House of Commons
with Mr.. Gladstone for years without
having noticed that, as the black silk
guard tied round his wrist indicates, he
has lost the index finger of his left hand.
Like the famous Lord Anglesey's leg,
which was buried in the Belgian village
from which the battle of Waterloo takes
its name, Mr.. Gladstone left his lost
finger, in sportsman's sense, on the
field of honor.
Nearly forty years ago he was staying
at Eserick Park, near York. as the
guest of the grandfather of the present
Lord Wenlock, who was the uncle OF
Mrs. Gladstone.
Mr.. Gladstone went out shooting as
one of large party, and while he was
loading his gun-there were no breech.
leaders in those days-one barrel ex.
ploded and blew away his finger.
There was no hope of replacing it ol
of setting the bone, which, indeed, was
entirely carried away, and from that day
to this Mr.. Gladstone has always worn
the black finger-stall to which we have
Just alluded.
The accident seemed to be protest
against his further use of fowling
piece; but it was not until some years
later that he took to the amusement oi
cutting down trees.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19

"A story is told of Justice Huddle-
stone, of London, prominent English
Judge, illustrating his propensity for
'tuft-hunting." Going out to dinner
recently, he learned that certain noble
Duke was to be of the party. AS he en-
countered the butler in the hall he
slipped half a sovereign into his hand,
saying: 81 have few special words to
say to the Duke; contrive that sit next
to him." 'Thank you," said the butler;
"his Grace has just given me sovereign
to place you at the other end of the
room" The Duke knew his man.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19

Alaska is begging that sohool-teach
ers be sent theys
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1883-04-19

RzoI. NV. law. m. 5 m. I5m- ON. u
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-06-04

hAKE NO MlSTAKE, But PUlsOH - sc
VI the genuine Yara Cigar for &c, et
HARTMANB YELLOW FRONT CIGAR
STORE
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-06-04
How Much VIII Do Ic.

How much OF Thomas Eclectrfc Oil is re-
quired to cureT Only a very little. A few
drops will cure any KIND OF ache: and but
trifie more is needed for spafns and lame
nesses. Rheumatism is not so readily affect
ed an ounce and sometimes two ounces are
required. NO medicine, however, Is so sure to
cure with the same number OF applications
For sale by H. b. Cochran, druggist, l37 and
l39 North Queen street
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-06-04
We Challenge tho World.

When we say we believe, we have evidence
to prove that Shiloh's CONSUMPTION Cure is
decidedly the best Lung Medicine made, in AS
much rs 1t will cure u common or Chronic
Cough in on e-half the time and relieve Asth-
ma, Bronchitis Whooping Cough. Group, and
show more cases Of Consumption cured than
all others. 1t will cure where they fail, 1t T.
pleasant to take, harmless to the Youngest
child and we guarantee what we say. Price
lOc.. Soc and sl.O0. If your Lungs are sore
Chest or Back lame, use Shiloh's Porous Plas.
ter. Sold by IL. B. Cochran druggist Nos l37
and lSs North Qneen street. feb7-eodl
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-06-04

''Often unable to attend business being
subject to serious disorder OF the Kidneys
After long siege of sickness tried BurdOck
Blood Biners and was relieved by half bot
tle." Mr.. b, Turner. OF Rochester, N. y, takes
this pains to write. For sale by IL. B. Cochran,
druggist, 1877 and l39 North Queen Street.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-06-04

VEkLOW FROST 80. HAVANA CIGAR.
J. IL the best In the city. made and for sale
HARTMANs YELLOW FRONT CIGAx
STORE.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-06-04

harrisburg Express, west, at $40 p. M, has
direct connections without change Of cars) to
Columbia and York.
Fast Line, west, on sunday, when tagged
WIN stop at DOwningtOwn, Coafssviile, Parkes.
burg, Mount Joy, EiizabethtOwn ami Mi,ile.
town.
Day cypress, Fast Line, News Express Mai
Train, No. !, Western Express and Pacinc NY
press run dailv.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-06-04
AEDIC1.

DENsoAy sKu oUxE. v- rauZol
fFrom tho New Haven Reotseer.l
<CM ERY ~0
AS A RHlG1Dx FOR NERVOUS
DI6NA9MS. =~.-.-.
WHAT THE AEDICAL PROEEs8ION SAY
ABOUT III, AND TIE GOOD RESULTS
ATTENDING Irs USE. .-..-.
HRADAOHB, NEURALGIA, NnR-
VOUsN@5a, sLEHPLHssNHss
AND DYSPEPSIA.
'DR. BENSON'S preparation OF Celery and
Chamomile tor nervous diseases Ii the most
important addition made to the noaerfd med.
tea in the last quarter OF q century."-Dr. j.
W. J. Englar. OF Baltimore.
"Dr. Benson's Pills, are worth their weight
in gold in nervous and sick headache, DIR.
A. IL Schlichter, OF Baltimore.
'.Tbese Pills are Invaluable In nervous dis.
eases."-Dr. Hammond, OF N ew York.
Is Dr. Benson's Pills for the cure of Neural
gia are success."-Dr. G. p. Holman, Chris.
Hamburg, VS..
These Pulls are special preparation, only
for the cure of special diseases as named, and
for these diseases they are worthy of trial by
all intelligent sufferers. They are prepared
expressly to and ,OiH cure sick headache, nerv-
Gus headache, neuralgia, nervousness, paraly.
sis, sleeplessness and dyspepsia.
Sold by all druggists Price, SO cents.
Depot, lO8 North Eutaw St., Baltimore, Nd.
by mail, two boxes foc 81, or six boxes for
q 50. to any address.
DIR. c. w. BENSON'S
NEW REMEDY AND FAVORITE PRE-
SCRIPTION.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-06-04
s KIN Gu r q,
Is Warrented to Cure

ECZEMA, TETTERs, RUMORs, INFLAM.
NATION, MILK CRUST. ALL ROUGH
SCALY ERUPTIONS. DISEASES OF
HAIR AND SCALP, SCROFULA
ULCEKS, TENDER TECHNICS.
and PIMPLES on all parts
of tho body.
1t makes the skin white, soft and smooth !;
removes tan and freckles, ana is the BEST
toilet dressing IN THE WORLD. Elegantly
put up. TWO bottles In one package. consist
ing OF both internal and external treatment.
All hrst-class druggists have it. Price 81 per
package.
G. N. Crittenton. Sole Wholesale Agents for
DIR. c. w. BensOn's Remedies, lis Fulton st.,
New York. mayls-M, ,W.S6w
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-06-04

&A0UE1. a. PRlO4, ATTORNEY, HAS
- Removed his O1ice nom 80 North Duke
street to No. n GRANT STREET, immedt
ately In Rear Of Court House. LOng'a New
BUILDING. 5l7-tyd