The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-02-06
HTS PAS MARVELLOUS ESCAPE,

nad been thrown down by the stove, and
began to smoke It,
"Shut that door, dun YOU. Was you
brought up in saw mill? You'll freeze
every potato IN the house. No, haven't
got yascline. What do you want of vas
eline?" said the grocery man, as he set
the syrup keg on chair by the stove
where il would thaw out
want 10 rub it on pas legs" said
the boy, rs he tried to draw smoke
through the cigar stub
"Why what is the matter with your
pas legs? Rheumatiz?'
"Wus; nor rheumatic, said the boy,
as he threw away the cigar stub and
drew some cider in a broken tea cup.
"Pa has got the worst looking hind legs
You ever saw. You see, since there has
been so many fires pa has got offul
scared, and be has bought three fire es-
5apes, made out Of rope with knots In
them, and he has been telling US every
day how be could rescue the whole fam.
lily in case Of fire. He told US TO be
cool, whatever happened, and to rely on
him. II the house got on fire we were
all TO rush 10 pa, and he would save US.
Well, last night ma had to go to one Of
the neighbOrs, where they was going to
have twins, and we didn't sleep much,
cause ma had 20 come home twice in the
night to get saffron, and an old flannel
petticoat that | broke in when was
kid, cause the people where ma went
did not know as twins was on the bill Of
fare, and they only had flannel petit
coats for one, Pa Was cross at being
kept awake, and told ma he hoped
when all the children in Milwaukee
were born, and got grown up, she would
take in her sign and not go around
nights acting as usher to baby matinees.
Pa says there ought to be law that
babies should arrive on the regular day
trains, and not wait for the midnight
express Well, pa he got asleep, and
he slept till about eight O clock in the
morning, and tie blinds were closed,
and it was dark in his room, and had
waited for my breakfast till | was hungry
as wolf, and the girl told me TO wake
up pa, so | went up stairs, and | don't
know what made me think Of it, but |
had some OF this powder they make red
fire with in the theater, that me and my
chum had the 4th of July. and | put It
in wash dish in the bath room, and |
touched il off and hollered fire. was
going to wake pa up and then tell
him il was all right, and laugh at him.
] guess there was too much fire, or
yelled too loud, cause pa jumped out of
bed and grabbed a rope and rushed
through the hall towards the back win
dow, that goes out on a she'd ! tried
to say something, but pa ran over me
and told me to save myself, and ! got 10
the back window to tell him there was
no fire just as he let himself out the win
dow. He had one end of the rope tied
to the leg OF the wash stand, aud, he
was climbing down the back side Of the
shed by the kitchen, with nothing on
but bis night shirt and he was the hor-
rjblest looking object ever was, with his
legs flying and trying to stick his toe
house. don't think man looks well
in society with nothing on but his night
shirt. | didn't blame the hired girls
for being scared when they saw pa and
his legs come down outside the window,
and when they yelled | went down to
the kitchen, and they said crazy man
with no clothes but pillow case around
his neck was trying TO kick the window
in, and they run into the parlor, and |
opened the door and let pair the kitchen,
He asked me if any body else was saved,
and then told him there was no fire,
and he must have dreamed he was in
bell, or somewhere. Well, pa WAS as.
toniShed and said he must be wrong in
the head, end left him thawing him
self by the stove while l went after his
pants, and his legs were badly chilled,
but | guess nothin' was froze He LAYS
it all to ma, and says if she would stay
at home and let people run their own
baby shows, there would be more com.
fort in the house, Ma came in with Q
shawl over her head and bowl full of
something that smelled frowzy, and
after she had told us what the result of
her visit was, she sent me after vaseline
to rub pas legs. Pa says he has dem
onstrated that If man is cool and col
lected, in case Of fire, and goes delib-
erately at work to save himself, he will
come out all right
"Well, you are the meanest boy |
ever heard Of, y said the grocery man.
but what about your pas dancing
clog dance in church Sunday. The
minister's hired girl was in here after
some Goldfish yesterday morning, and
she said the minister said your pa had
scandalized the church the worst way"
"Oh. he didn't dance in church He
was little excited, that's all, You see,
pa chews tobacco, and it is pretty hard
on him to sit all through the sermon
without taking a chew, and he gets
nervous He always reaches around in
his pistol pocket when they stand up to
sing the last time, and feels in his to-
bacco box and gets out chew, and
puts it in his mouth when the minister
pronounces the benediction, and then
when they get out doors he is all ready
to spit He always does that. Well,
my chum had present, on Christmas.
of a music box, just about as big as pas
tobacco box, and all you have to DO Is
to touch n spring and it plays, "She's 3
Daisy, She's Dumping" | borrowed
1t and put it in pas pistol pocket, where
, he keeps his tobacco box, and when the
choir got most through singing pa