The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1883-05-11
The Lime-Kiln Club.

"Gem'len. has painful bit O. news
to spread befO' dc meetin," began the
old man as he mOtiOned TO Elder TOOts
TO put down the alley window. "Nico-
demus Pembroke Scott, local member
of dis lodge, has crossed into Canady
an will not reappear among us. Fur
de las three months Ihave been expect
in some sich climax, an dis mawnin',
when q messenger informed me dat he
had disapp cared, arter failin' in an at
tempt to shoot himself wild IN ole boss
pistol, war not bit surprised. He
leaves wife an two chill'en an about
fifty creditors.
"What sent him of? DE same reasons
dat am daily workin' to bring about an
oder panic--de same reasons dat explain
de hundreds OBJ bizness failures same
reasons dat am cripplin' lie efforts OF
thousands of hard-wOrkin' men to secure
homes of DER own-fam' ly extravaganza.
No, you cant call il extravaganza; fool
cry am 4 better name for it. Up TO n
var ago Brudder Scott was jobbin'
arOun' an maxim u dollar 4 day. Den
he got 4 situashun by which he Armed
fo'teen dollars per week He wass poo
of in de house an had debts hangin'
Ober him. but heah was de chance to get
cben. How was it improved? In less
dan one month his wife was rugged ont
wild u twenty dollar dress. twelve shil-
lin kids. II five dollar hat an an opera
fan. lie had no peace oh min onless he
Obeyed hor. In six weeks she became
too heightened TO wash an iron fur Cd
der fOlkses. In two months she wanted
4 better house, wild red parlor carpet
an cane-seat cha RS all arOun' de room.
In three months she had TO have black
silk dress. gold bracelets, Il tony bonnet,
kid shoes an gold film in her tecf.
Dat foOlcry has reaped its harvest.
De husband found that he was runnin'
behind, his home was bein' neglected,
his wife was bein' gossiped about, an
in despair he has picked up his feet IN
slid out. IL was the natural result.
tell you, my frens, de tOmfOOlery of dc
women of dis kentry am strainin' on dc
chalk-linc till do cord can't stan much
mo-, an it am high time dat somebody
sOts his foot down. DE man who Arms
S2j per week has somehow got de idealr
into his head dat the world expects him
to dress his wife as if he Armed bank
er's profits. Wives of men who can't
keep up wild der house-rents am canter-
in up an down wild seal-skin sacques
an six dollar shoes. Wives of men who
have to dodge de butcher an grocer an
tailor am now selectin' spring carpets
an or'lerin' $50 lambrequins. Wives of
men who couldn't raise $50 ut de bank
to save DER nccks am rushin' to balls an
parties an havn' DER expensive dresses
described fur de benefit of lie public.
ode so-called society of de aige am
composed Of false hair, false pretenses.
debt-dodging an base decepshum. Our
rich people am distinguished by DER
plain dress an quiet manners. DE snides
an dudes an dodos do all de swagger-
in, rush on all tie cOlors an monopOlize
dc biggest sheer of de street. You wait!
DE man who lives fur anoder ten y ars
will h M sunthin' drap an arter de drap
takes place dc thousands of idiots who
now feel ashamed 10 admit dat they
doan' keep but two servant gals in de
house will go back TO DER cook-stoves
an wash tubs an take DER proper places
in de DllrceShun. "-DetrOH Free Press.