The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-03-09


will not walk under ladder that may
be leaning against wall. They con-
slider it bad luck for bricks to fall on
ones head, s1irrNr
At St. Anne's Sunday-school, in
Lowell, in answer to the question;
what is the greatest church festivalpn
little orphan of six years promptly re-
sponded, 1.-The strawberry festival"
China and Japan buy our dried APP
Piles freely, and, as the Boston Tran
script remarks thus does American
industry help to swell the population of
the Orient.
A Boston journalist has made the dis
covery that the most appropriate play
in which an intelligent colored woman
of that city could make her debut is
"Black Hide Susan"
Annie, is it proper to say this ere,
that ereP" "Why, Kate, of course not"
"Well, / don't know whether it is
proper or not, but / feel cold in this ear
from that air.
A little girl was walking on the street
the other day, when she saw very
bow-legged man with short coat on.
"Oh. mat she cried, 'there's man
with tunnel under bim.."
A statistician says that 1900 Ameri-
can women visit Canada every year to
smuggle sealskin sacque. There is no
doubt this man has been Tilted.
ester Democrat.
A man in Summerville, Ga, sneezed
so vigorously that he yanked his spinal
column out Of place. II he had swallow
ed the sneeze instead of letting 1t fly he
would burst into more than million
fragments.
An Iowa grocer who refused to trust
woman for pound of logwood was
nearly killed by blow from an AK
helve. When a woman wants to dye an
old shawl she is prepared to surmount
all obstacles.
A German at hotel in this city the
other day had some Limberger cheese
sent to him. A little boy who sat beside
him turned to his mother and exclaimed,
Mamma, how | wish was deaf and
dumb in my nose. "
"Who is this Mrs. Langtry?" asked
one Nashville youth of another. ooh,
she's the prettiest woman Of New
Jersev,n replied the other, confidenti-
ally. Nashville has ten faro banks, five
national banks and three daily papers.
A Sussex paper Is responsible for the
following perturbing announcement:
"Prince Bismarck has been suffering
from neuralgia in the head, and his
"cheek" is assuming alarming proper
tons. - FRRnV Folks.
The Law of Compensation Maud
isn't it strange. dear, all tfa fellows
who fiirt with me are married men! |
cannot think what has become Of all the
bachelors" Gertrude (who is not en-
vious-oh, dear no)-"Possibly flirting
with the wives of your admirers
A little boy of three years whose
mother played the organ In church, and
who was obliged to be left to the care Of
others, was asked one Sunday morning
what his kitten was CRYING so piteOusly
for. ~ don't know said he, ''but
s'pect the old cat has gone to church. v
A little boy went into the parlor where
his sister was being courted and said:
Brother Tom told me to ask You what
was the date Of your last hustle, for he
can't find to-day's paper high or low,
and he left it in your room just before
supper"
A big brown bear at the Black Hills
found and ate a bushel of salt with
great gusto. An hour later he was seen
at the bank of a creek. assiduously
drinking, and occasionally raising his
head to look upstream and see if the
supply of water was likely to hold out
If our middle-aged readers win allow
their minds to recall the scenes Of, say
three decades ago, they will agree with
us in our statement that the most dis
tressing sensation in the world at that
4 period Of existence was wearing a pair
Of trousers made by an elder sister.
A bullet shot from a pea shooter
struck New Orleans lad in the head
and penetrated the brain. The 'pea-
shooter" is composed of forked stick,
two strips of rubber, two bits of Irvine
and patch of leather. What a New
Orleans lads head is composed Of, is a
matter Of conjecture.
An Indianapolis merchant has parrot
and a telephone in the same room. The
bird has learned so we'll the telephone
language that so soon as the alarm rings
it screams, Hello, hello! Yes, this is
| Kregele's. What do you wantPn 1t is
sometimes difficult to keep the bird quiet
long enough to answer the inquistor.
Can you play 'Chopin's Polonaise?''
softly inquired cultured Bostonian Of
the niece of fashionable dressmaker,
who was sitting at piano. mo,
naively replied the girl, "but me aunty
can play OF some of the wust iittin
oyerskirts We iyer seed on sum O hun
green customers.
"Get right out Of this!'' shouted an
irritated merchant to mendacious
clerk this is the third lie | hav,
caught YOU in since Ten O'clock this
| ,,r,.o;narrf 1,nb ,,,,1l - .,;l Al. ,,a,,