The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-09-03
THE MONDAY MAUNDERER.

Charles Moore, of the pOstoffice, informs mo
that the large wheel of his bicycle revolves by
actual count ,062 times going the distance be-
tween the State ditch and the pOstOtlice. 1t is
suggested TO give this item to the civil-service
examiners here for them to build question upon
An old employe of the postoffine notes that
letters directed in a good hand never have any
thing more upon the envelope than the plain,
straightforward direction, and that it holds good
In nearly every case where the sender writes
"ln haste" the envelope, he leaves of the
State. If he writes "In haste" twice on the
same envelope, he leaves off both the State and
pOStotfice
Poor Doctor Glenn, superintendent or the In
sttuton for the Deaf and Dumb! just as he
was beginning TO learn little Of the language
OF his mute charges the board comes and makes
IA clean sweep of all the old employees, appoint
ing in their stead new set, who don't Know
even the deaf and dumb alphabet. With this
Gordon Of ignorance between the doctor and his
mute charges, 1t Is easily to he seen that the
working of the institution will be seriously inter-
fered with.
See the Woman in the Street Car. Che is look
ing into her Pocketbook for Nickel. Now she
has found it. She puts it into her Mouth. In
Minute she will give it to man to put into the
fare-6ox Will she wipe it off first? No, she
Will give 1t to the Man Wet. Once there was
Man took a Cold handling salivated Nickels.
The Cold settled onto his Lungs. lie was a po-
III
Every body's Fare. If we had Conductors on our
Street Cars this Moisture would not all be lost.
1t could be saved up against II long dry Spell.
But the Conductors would have to wear Rubber
Coats ana carry Umbrellas.
Mcclellan, when he ran for the presidency in
1864, greatly overrated his popularity among
the soldiers. The volunteers held citizenship
and good civil government in far greater esteem
than phosphorescent military glory" said gen
tleman tne other day. 81 prisoner i'll
Camp Ford, at Tyler, Tex, and on election day
that year we hello an election, not to count any
thing on the general result, but merely TO get an
expression of opinion. There were about four
thousand of us, and we divided the camp into
preeints, and voted into boxes and barrels. 1t
was a very quiet election, with no ballOt-bOX
stuffing or repeating Mr.. Lincoln received all
but about dozen of the votes cast those voting
against him not being soldiers, butcotton-thieves
and spectators that the rebels had gObbed up"
81 never buy dressed fowls" said a we'll
known physician, yesterday. 81 always prefer
to see the bird with its feathers on There is
from time to time an cutlery about the quality of
the beef sold in this market, but nothing is ever
said about the bad poultry sold here. Fowls
that have died from disease, am informed
have time and again been dressed and cold here,
and that it has been done this year often
heretofore have no doubt. Fowls that have
been smOthered in the&eOop are not lost by COM
mission men. The birds are dressed ana sold
l never buy live chicken out of grOcer's coop
on Monday. The chances are they have passed
passed without their having had either food or
water, and on Monday they feversh and
unfit for food"
The lot of the stamp clerk at the postofice is
not happy one On Saturday pretty, we'll
dressed little woman came to the window with
a package in her hand, a half-dozen men Civ
ing way for her "Can you tell me whether
there's an evening mail to Dsnville?" inquired
this vision of loneliness. The clerk asked
whether it was Dauville, md or Danville, ILL.,
She didn't know, aud the pretty face looked
troubled. Then she remembered to have the di
rectiOn in her pocket-bOOk, and looked for it.
1t took her some time TO find it, Meanwhile
q dozen wlldeyed business men and errand boys
were moving about behind her with the frantic
energy of hyenas in cage. "Oh, here It is
and she hands folded slip of paper to the clerk.
mo, that isn't It,, and she bushes and is
fused as she makes exchange for another paper.
The clerk reads it. The slip says Bloomington.
He asks Bloomington, Indiana, Blooming
ton, Ilinois2" She doesn't know She can't re-
member. Chow provoking !" excla1ms the lady,
smiling like an angel. But never mind about
tnat now. She wants to send the package to
Cleveland. Will the clerk please tell how much
postage 1t will take. Certainly. He weighs the
right? Mrs. Smith said it would only take four
CENTS" No. that is just right. Then she hunts
through her pocket-book to find the exact
change. Not there. She doesn't like to trouble
the clerk, but can lie change quarter. Ger
tainly. Hands the change to her, and part of
it slips through her fingers and ngles on the
floor. "How awkard :" she excaims ard fifteen
or twenty men butt their heads together picking
it up. Would the clerk please stick them on for
the package, as she has on kids and doesn't like
to ink her gloves. The accommodating clerk
does so, and the little woman. with a secret
smile and face radiant with content, drops out
of line half hundred men and boys close In
and fight for the vacated place at the window.
Yesterday, Sept ., 1 was given a little paper
called ''The War Cry" 1t is the organ of the
Salvation Army, published in New York and
dated sept, 6-dated ahead, as oranges and
lemons are picked green and shipped to ripen
in a far-away market. 1t is rare religious alb
surdiUy, and yet, in some of its advertisements
particularly those that advertise soldiers uni
forms for sale, for men and women-t looks as
If there are some thrifty people In the army who
not going TO let the frenzy pass by without
making some money out of 1t. The War Cry
is of Opiuinion that the terrible earthquakes
and volcanic showers that have recently brought
death and desOlation to the earth sent "be-
cause nature sympathlzes with her God and is
at war with man. Gods lightnings fash and
play, and the forces of nature explode to awaken
conscience, though not TO destroy the race.
Better that men should see the fires OF God now
and be carried back from the lake of fire here
after, than that they should feel them in hell"
Nearly the entire paper-twenty columns-Is
given up to correspondence and "Lancashire
Lass" "Manchester joe" "Happy Bill Cooper
In his red Guernsey and Gipsy hat" Shouting
Annie" and other saints give testimony as to
the progress OF the war Here are few ex-
tracts; 1--WE closed week of hard fighting.
with twelve souls. On Sunday five gave the
devil the sack. and made up their minds to
serve Jesus" ga glorious time. Closed with
two souls" ga dear man came back to Jesus at
knee drill" "We had God.slorfying time.
led by Captain Cooper aud Happy Nellie. Score
four souls saved" Captain Cooper writes of a
blessed "halielujah picnic" convert gives
thanks that, ''instead OF his head being too big
for his hat in the mornings IL now fits him nice
ly." "The devil has had licking al this station
during the past week. The knee drill was
good" Lord make us what our title saws we
upVll-urVefb,'
interest for the report that Captain Blosser, of
the Salvation Army, who opened the campaign
In indianapolis Yesterday, will send from tins
fighting ground
Real Estate Transfers.
Inatruments tlad for record in rhe RAonrdar's