Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-09-15
BRIGHT BITS.

Doc DAYS are over, and sausage l. now
IL the markeI--OH CITY Blizzard.
YOUNG Fastboy says the first girl he
ever wsltzed with was all the whirled 70
him.-HQlzksge.
ONE thousand dollars in gold weighs
four pounds. That IS why 50 many news
paper men are T0und-shOuldered.- ChieGgO
Telegram.
MAMMA. you should avoid extremes, =
remarked a philosOphic boy when his
mother boxed his jaws. VERY well. my
son, / shall strike happy medium" and
she laid him across her knee.-UefchGHt
Ir0csler.
EVERY man talks the lingo Of his trade.
When d plumber wants 10 stop his adyer-
tisement be saws ..shut II Of and the re-
porter who goes 70 write up a funeral
asks: ..has the last form gone down -
BOsf5n Star.
THE Philadelphia Chronicle SAYS the
grammar used in the Mormon schools
don't recognize the first person singu-
lar" which would upset their religion.
But all the same. the first person must
feel pretty singular when her husband ac-
cumulates a dozen more Norris
turn Heruid.
4 CERTAIN friendly society, which was
also a sort Of mutual insurance OrganiZa-
ton. had this among its printed notices 10
the members; In the event Of your death,
you are requested to bring your book. pol
ley, and certificate at once to Mr.. -.
when your claims viii have immediate
attention. "-EccbQHye.
ADELE-Yes, your poem. He Loves
Ne Very Dearly" is remarkable pro-
ductjOn: but if you want those pleasant
relations 70 continue, don't let him see il.
As for the copy sent hither, it Will be
/ carefully placed in a little basket. not
necessarily for publication. but as guar
antee Of good faith.-BOStOH SATURDAY
EreaUq GQzette.
YOUNG George Vanderbilt. fourth son
Of the millionaire. wants 10 De a newspa-
per reporter. There il crops out again.
the natural, educated and hereditary
greed Tor gold; the Unsuitable thirst for
wealth. the passion for amassing millions
by the easiest and quickest methods. and
reaching a fabulous competence by the
shortest ways. It's a family trait
Burlington HQtrkege.
"HAVE YOU bar in your hOuse:" asked
/ a temperance orator who had risen in the
night and come down to the office Of a
I Toledo hotel. Yes. sir" replied the
clerk; down stairs. first door 10 the left. -
Then ! wish YOU would have it put up
over my bed, 10 keep those - mOsqui-
/ toes away from me. | haven't much
I blypls anu 4 " ant IL al lDI III otlls f
CiHciHH0tt C'Ommercjdl- Gdzette.
YOUR crop seems to be considerably
in the grass said a passer-by to a negro
who sat on a fence. Yes san. General
Green's dun got it." Did YOU oyerplant.
yourself :; NO, sab, planted bout 'nuff."
Why didn't you pillow itE' wife TUX
sick. She does de plOwin' fur dis place.
Nv hat do YOU dO:' "What does | do:
breaches; OATS what / does. Fl Provi-
dence comes along an makes de oman
sick, KANT hep it. Is been called,
has."-Ark0aSQte Iraceier.
Boss, KANT take dis twenty-h' cents.
It's got a hole in it what's been plugged
up" said a negro grocer to a customer.
But YOU must take it, | got it from YOU
last night. Don't you remember ''Oh,
yes. / members. ! know dat ! gin it ter
yer, and gin it ter yer case i didn't
want it. Fl | had wanted it | would
hab gin yer some udder quarter Git
Outen dc way an let me cut of a piece
Oh bacon. Mustn't stan rOun' de stO'
when customers is 50 rampant 10 buy
suthin' .''-ArkdRSatr IrQUeLer.