The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1883-01-26
Lo Astonishes His stomach.

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a
Lo Astonishes His Stomach.
One of the peculiarities of the la
test United States style of feeding
the noble red-man is the fact tha
he is given government rations, an6
at the same time appropriations are
made which are supposed to main
tain him. Sometimes wild Indian
who doesn't know much about gro
ceries and how to prepare them fol
food, comes in and draws his regular
soldier rations in this way. For in
stance, up in the Sitting Bull coun-
try, while ago, an Indian came in
from the war-path who had never
seen any of the pale face style of
TODD, aud drew his rations. He made
light meal of unground coffee the
first day, and as he over-eat and the
coffee swelled in him, and he had
some difficulty in buttoning his pants
around the pain he had on hand.
He felt very unhappy for a day or
two, but laid it to the fact that he
hadn't exercised much, and the con-
sequence e,a'aui and indigestinn re-
sulting therefrom. AS soon as he
succeeded in getting the interior de-
partment quieted down a little he
tackled his ration of candles. These
he decided to parboil, in order to pre-
vent trouble from indigestion. The
dish was not SO much of a glittering
success as he anticipated, and as be
remorsely picked the candle wicking
out OF his teeth with a ten. pin, he
made some remarks that grated harsh
Iy on the @sthetic ears of those who
stood near. He then tried a meal on
yeast powder with vinegar. He ate
the ysast powder, and then took
pint of extremely potent vinegar to
wash it down. At first there was
feeling of surprise in his stomach,
which rapidly gave place to unayail-
ing remorse. A can of yeast pow
der in an Indians midst doesn't seem
to be prepared for pint of vinegar,
and the result of such an unfortunate
is not gratifying. Eve
y little while a look of pain would
come over the features of the noble
child of the forest, and then he would
Jump about II feet and try to kick a
'loud out of the sky. Then he
would sit down and think over his
'ast life. 1t took about week for
Tim to get back to where he dared to
.et up another meal for himself
hen he fricasseed'a couple of pounds
f laundry soap and eat that. Soap
all right for external purposes or
'r treating pair of soiled socks. but
does not asslmilate with the gas
10 juice readily, and those who ,
ave tried it as a relish do not seem
think that it will ever be Of prom
ence as an article of diet. That is e
ny this untutored child of mature t
wore. lie had never received the t
enefits of early training in profanity, P
I'd his language, therefore, was dis f'
'nnected and rambling, but when a
consider that he was ignorant of Il
II language, and that every little p
lille he had to stop and hold his e
gester with both hands and dig
eat holes in the earth with his :,
as, the remarks didn't seem alto =,
ther out of place or irrelevant. ye
hen gallon or SO of agitated bak- fir
powder and vinegar is singing
little song in the innermost recess PIT
ofan Indian, and this has been fol.
sed by a treatment of laundry sn
'p, :he student of human nature
! find a wide field for observation
tina. locality. The earnest and tre
'upied look, the troubled expires sp,
n of the countenance, followed by tu,
quick nervous twltching of the cir
scles of the face, and then the sao
'lling up and bursting of the sus- ri, p
der button, the deep drawn sigh E,
the smothered cuss-word, all he. Bri
en- of the gastric agitation going sto
hin. This is why the Indian pre- Bri
link of bolofna sausage and shu
-yearold dog to the high price a
ceries so common to our modern CIT. err
lization.-BN Nyc an Laramie que m
srT ing. issu