The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1883-10-01
THE CHURCH ROAD.
A Trademarks Views on tho Different
Denominations.

To me comes the brakeman, and seating
himself on the arm Of the seat, says
81 went to church yesterday"
"Yesl" | said, with that interested infection
that asks for more. "And what church did
you attend2"
(Which do you guess9"
''Some union mission church," | haa zrded
"Naw," he said, 81 don't like to run on
these branch roads very much. don't often
go to church, but when | do, want to run
on the main line, where your run is regular and
you go schedule time and don't have to wait
on connections. don't like to run branch,
Good enough, but don't like it,"
"Episcopal?" guessed.
Limited express" he said, "all palace
cars and two dollars extra for a seat, fast time
and only stop at the big stations. Nice line,
but TO exhaustive for brakeman. All train
men in uniform, conductors punch and lantern
silver plated, and no train boys allowed.
The the passengers are all allowed to talk
back at the conductor, and il makes them free
and easy. No, | couldn't stand the palace
cars. Rich road though. Don't often hear
Of a receiver being appointed for that line.
Some mighty nice people travel on il too"
"Universalisl" / suggested.
"Broad gauge" said the brakeman; "does
too much complimentary business. Every
body travels on pass. Conductor doesn't
get a fare once in 50 miles. Stops at all flag
stations, and won't run into anything but a
union depot. No smoking car on the train.
Train orders are rather vague though, and the
train men doA't get along well with the pas
sengers. No, don't go to the Universalist,
though know some awlully good men that
run on that road"
Pfesbyterianl" / asked
Marrow gauge, eh?" said the brakeman,
pretty track, straight as rule; tunnel right
through a mountain rather than go around it,
spirit level grade; passengers have to show
their tickets before they can get on the train.
Mighty strict road, but the cars are little mar
row; have to sit one in a seat and no room in
the aisle TO darce. Then there's no stop-over
tickets allowed; cot to go straight through to
the sistion you're tckeled for, or you can't get
on at all. When the cars full, no extra
coaches; cars built at the shops to hold just so
many and nobody else allowed on. But you
don't often hear OF an accident on thatro
It's run RICH, up to the rules"
"May be you joined the Free Thinkers?"
| said.
"Scrub road" said the brakeman, "dirt
road bed and no ballast; no time card and no
engineer makes his own time, Just as he
pleases. Smoke il you want to; kind Of go.as-
you-please road. Too many side tracks, and
every switch wide open all the time, with the
switch-man sound asleep and the target lamp
dead out. Get on rs you please and get off
when you want to. Don't have to show your
tickets, and the conductor isn't expected to do
anything but amuse the passengers. No, sir.
| was offered pass, but | don't like the line,
| don't like to travel on road that has no ter
minus. Do you know, sir, asked division
superintendent where that road ran to, and he
said he hoped to die if he knew. asked
him il the general superintendent could tell
me, and he said he didn't believe they had
general SUPERINTENDENT, and il they had he
didn't know any more about the read than
the passengers. | asked him who he report
ed to, and he said nobody" | asked con-
ductor who he got his orders from, and he
said he didn't take any orders from any living
man or dead ghost. And when | asked the
engineer who he got his orders from, he said
he'd like to see anybody give him orders, he'd
run the train to suit himself or he'd run il into
the ditch. Nowyou see, sir, I'm a railroad
man, and don't care to run on a road that
has no time, makes no connections, runs no.
where and has no superintendent. 1t may be
all right, but I've rairoaded too long 10 under
stand it,"
"Did you try the Methodist" said.
"Now you're shouting" he said with some
enthusiasm. "Nce road Ell? Fast time and
plenty of passengers. Engines carry power
Of steam and don't you forget ii; steam gauge
shows 100 and enough all the time. Lively
road; when the conductor shouts "Ail
aboard" you can hear him to the next station.
Every train lamp shines like a headlight.
Stop-over checks given on all through tick cts;
~ 81 l.
likes to the station two or three days and hop
on the next revival train that comes thunder
ing along. Good, whole-souled companions.
BILE conductors; amt a road in the country
where the passengers feel more at home. No
passes; every passenger pays full traffic rates
for his ticket. Wesleyanhouse air.brake on
all trains, too; pretty safe road, but didn't
ride over it yesterday"
"May be you went to the Congregational
church," said.
"Popular road" said the brakeman, ian
old road, too; one of the very oldest in this
country. Good road bed and comfortable
cars. Well managed road, too; directors don't
interfere with division superintendent and
train orders. Roads mighty popular, but its
pretty independent too. Say, didn't one of
the division superintendent down east dscon-
tinue one Of the Oldest stations on the line two
or three years ago? But its a mighty pleasant
road to travel on. Always has such SPLEEN
did class of passengers"
"Perhaps you tried the Baptist" guessed
once more.
ala, hat" said the brakeman, "she's a
daisy, isn't she? River road; beautiful curves;
sweep around anything to keep close to the
SILVER but it's all steel rail and rock ballast,
single track all the way and not side track
from the round house to the terminus. Takes
heap Of water to run ii through, double tank
at every station, and there isn't an engine in
the shops that can pull pound or run mile
with less than two gauges. But it runs
through lovely country these river roads
always do; river on one side and hills on the
other, and lisa steady climb up the grade all
the way till the run ends where the fountain
head of the river begins. Yes, sir, I'll take
the river road every time for lovely trip, sure
connections and good time, and no prairie
dust blowing in at the windows. And yester-
day, when the conductor came around for the
tickets with little basket punch, didn't ask
him TO pass me, but paid my fare like little