The Panola weekly star. (Sardis, Miss.) 1882-18??, 1883-05-26

1Hhpf ~ "HfitH Gnu" f0F nm ~ Sfti,'
m hfg'sF Baand," "Hf D. Efgg,
"Vrtssa u ~ n'aioN" ~.
CHATTER WI
srlF-ruHTuHE
Mis- Cuihhert wretei
II lind u almost impossible 10 write
about him. and yet my brain seems a.
BE- aching With tho desire IN tell g0,i.
Lucr. What my thoughts are about this
man. have again and again deter.
mined 10 10 Il. aud have sat for hours
with the pen in my nand; bnt tho paper
remained blank. and had TO rise M
much exhausted In body and mind as II
had done a severe days work. do
not know wis this should be- when | am
writing 20 You, for wish 10 tell Won
everything. and YOU understand that no
thought 81 sparing myself would cheek
my words; but IN spite Of all my efforts
tho ldep which ! am about 10 sci down
esgstes before tho peil touches tho
Taper. The very words seem to fly.
Ngvins aiu pUwdrioss 10 toll you any
thing commercially. wa
ysfo,day | feel strongcr-bocnusa |
nm nngr,; anlI think ! can show you
that tho harshness with which I Judged
him nj first was not too harsh, a. be.
gan 10 fear. After what no has said to-
day. you ran MOI think that 1 msIndgn
HIM after the confession | ann about to
make OF my own feelings, you can not
ahinkthat | wish ~ misludy 70 hi IN.
''kiucc my last letter. we have fro.
9nentl1 mot We havs become " hat
people call great friends know
nom Mrs. Harper that there are people
who think rs lovers but rumors Of hat
And Ary raised upon very slight iounda.
Z FtpnN They do no harm. apparently.
ior 70 fhr a. | am aware they have not
mwrfcrod With the attentions " other
'suitors. ! haze even had proposals. nj.
though have done my bcst 10 prevent
b them. bcoause ihoy have been 'always
~ssiirtressing 10 me. | dare saw that In
slime ! shall find them amusing, MS other
girls do.
$50 ''But no has never done more than
pay me the most ordinary compliments.
although he has had opportunities such
rs n not been granted 10 any one
else 10 speak freely. | have tempted
3 him 10 speuA. To-day | had made IN INV
mind ~ force from him IA declaration
" ~" Htttfin WIN " HifufFt IttIitN 0t
fright from striking that final blow. and
fear J can not do u. Then the question
stArtlcs mo- Do | hesitate most on ac.
count Of tho pain my refusal will cause
him or mysclif AZ one time n seemed
= TINT 70 SEQ him overwhelmed by my
= conscmptuous ridlculc would afford me
complete satisfaction for the anguish no
mas caused YOU. Now | am troubled
about myself; the nearer the end / have
In view appears, the moro dread il.
Can yon understand thisp II can not be
thai | love him How tImIdly that
lynswrittcn, and ] am sfil trembling AS
IL wero sitting nj the top Of n hill in
4 q cast wind. instcad OF being in nv
own warm room. That h the COMES.
sion had 10 make 10 You. and Il was
not easily donei for writing down this
doutt Of myself seems 10 give a
probability and form. am compelled
TO do ~ phhougb | know how L will
sting you 10 think Il even possible that
n your Trend should be false 10 you.
Have no fear. There can be no
danger OF my caring for him \ am 80
anffon angry with him. and see his weak
: nesAand seliishness 30 plainly. And II
there had been danger. Il was removed
to-iay when he told me calmly that YOU
and no had hean good friends. that
was all Hearing that, aud remember.
) ing bow everything but words led You
70 believe be losei you. lfclt rs bitter
y toward him as ever, was almost
startled into expressing Il but carried
/, ~ on 80 lightly that he IL still unaware
how deeply am interested ON your ac-
count lie said ! was n capital actress,
thinking that the horror I ielt was only
= mnkee believe. lie 10 20 easily deceived
that !. wonder whether he Is a fool or
oug uiHking 4 fool OF me. Thai would
p oQnishmont indeed. fos tho deccp.
Hon I am praciicing. do feel mean
and cruel Whenever he makes me- think
that he Is thinking Of you. Should Il
Prove that lam m i.taken, that bo rally
care fg yus. snd that only YOUR ab.
senee preseuled bun frpm telling YOU, !
could Inever forgive myself for what
wonIf then be hcartless ,reachcry on
my part -
turn out that he really carcs for me-
81 must not think OF that. for tho
e 'mcre idea dstrActs me. You sec how
much reason ] have 10 be troubled about
f myself. and how l am haunted by doubts
and Tears OF what am doing Luckily,
= easily bring myself back ~ com.
mon sense. L suppose he might care
Tor me, aud had you never existed |
might have come 70 care for him. But
Il promissA 70 shssv you that nv hrst
opinion Of him had not been too harsh.
and this should do IL
MRS Harper has told ma something
about The Cahhprpc< They have q limo
placs. and old Mr.. Calihorpe lives and
acts asif he were q millionaire. lie is
really In poverty. and the whole Of his
estates viii be taken from him unless
II an ashamed 10 write the words.
:, and yct glad 10 do 81 because they re-.
call my eontempt-vnle.s Mr.. Maurice.
'shs they call him. finds an heiress In time.
with money enough 70 save the prom.
uAat \ what he IL scekinr. and
he and he falher evidently think they
have found the lady In me. Evcrybody
2, know tbsir obiest- And-oh. n Is hor.
t.tblx coneonutiblsf
II mast bring II 70 m end soon; the
a~houohtof ~ WORRYING me TOO much.
IknoW / shA1 get n \ his state q
-pnke-eonainuerL and then thess would
= ~ 1lensun IN ny triumph. And
yokI ,iInk fhaf | understood him better
49, ~ 4 could - sirs that I Am
1870 sFupE. Isee vhst viii hap
N - kov Desperately h
~ INN ~ no< c1fe for any
49, .. ne-.,d g %