Daily Yellowstone journal., 1883-11-03
WINKNG.


DohcS IN nib Actt Eye
From the Harvard Lampoon.l
Char ey Hayes has St Vitus' dance
in his LETT eye. and, consequently, il
apt TO say what he do, sn't mean.
One day last summer Charley was
Nory thirsty, so he went into ln apothe-
>.ry store and called for glass Of
lamon-sods. The clerk was knowing
man, and when he saw Charley winkine
lie KEEP; tally on his cuff. The recipe
h,ok which this clerk used said. Put
in one tablespoonful for the first wink,
rnd o teaspoonfnl for every additional
wink" But the man in the recipe
look never wink,d more than nine
tunes, ss that left only small margin
COR soda. When the clerk had tailed
i.fteen winks he colc uded that, as the
rscipe-book made no provision for this
,ase, he must ect on his own response
hility. So he gave Chailey eig It
fingers Of brandy straight Charley
said it dida taste very lemony, but he
gl"ssed it was all right. As / pilo.ed
,harley home that afternoon he gravely
exclaimed, hay, ole thi:J bhoy, don't
You sve- drinS M lemon shoda. "
Charley went to n nuction-sale one
day, and WIS surprised to zee the rap
idity Of the sales and the high prices
com auded Every few moments the
aactioneer .ould 9 y: Sold to that
nan over ere-" Charley thought,
from the dir ction of tie auctioneers'
glanc' :, that the buyer was somewhere
in his Wei .ity. Presently he started to
go aud WAS s.aru d ~ heIr the auc.
tieneer shout: ali, there, come back!
No tr.ning C. o. D. the wordl" The
peop.e aroui i Chsrl,y locked at him
suspicion ly and sid sonnet irg thst
sounded like: Rogue, swindler, tn Ell"
Char.ey was moro Surprised still when
the auc!ionrcr, who vas co isiderably
bigger than he, pouuced Oh hin, aid
asked what lie mea, ly buy,ng every
thing and thea sne kiug off in that
way. Charley declared that nothing
was further frm h,s thoughts tn
buying any .hl.g; that the aict:oneer
WAS mistaken IN his man; that his
fathe wrote tracts and he hims II W Q
. menlb Of the Young Mems Caris.
tia1 Assori.t.on But the auct.one,r
said: "Dunt tell m you scoundrell
You vii kr,i; 80 ' you." Charley tri,d
20 impress upon tie artctioneer that he
WAS not res, ,,onsihle for e vagariss OF
his lett eve. The auctipneer d, eli ed
ts BE- impies el. He said il Guar ey
coulda't mi,ad his eyr, he wo Id. Taki g
Cd bis coat, he timas1, IL rather
hguratNe arg iage, that he was goi g
- tit Che ley's re rennt We with full
mourning outit; and he did it, too.
CluIley hasn't teea to an auction
since
Charley il in love, and not long ago
he deci,t,', to ask t mumentous ques-
ton. Charley al@a n did things in o
pain, straightforward way. So, when
Abbic anne IN. the parior he loci ell
the door on the insi le, and then pros
trated himself q. her feet, escluiming !:
"Detres'. love you'll can you not love
me little in he nrn?" At this un-
fortu atl ment his left eye wink d,
aid 9 We Abbic 10 unds stand that he
didn't really mean VIII I he b d. She
naturally .ferred that he was reEe ,rs.
ing Christmas laa.omime. 60 she
said: "'Lat's iplendid, Mr.. Hayes.
Charley saw 1t once that it was Of no
use: his eye and mouth did u pull TO.
gether. When he trisd to say aayt g
in co = est, h 5 eve TUNED it it, Q joke.
lie gnva up Alli and. as his eve do
barrel him from tn ministry, Ia de-
cided tLat tho only tIing he coul lie
was q hun o ist SO he wrote ticles
for Pl.k about l,mbors. ard mother
il-law, aod Chicago g rls' feet, and e.
came famon', a Il died young, and was
huriel ia leenwood q mete y W thone
eye en- AID q osher eye shut. ~
though he were try.i g to look into his
f1kalrs stllC " lL n lapopA 4 N 80 z