The sun., 1883-08-05

Is now generally recognized
A Mother and a Daughter.
Two correspondents, both women, como to
US for advice. and both relate story OF neg
lect and ill-treatment at tho hands Of their
near kin. upon whom they are dependent.
Both OF them. too. write like women OF much
more than average cultivation. Their letters
are tho letters of educated ladies. Tho ono
Is q mother, who complains Of indignities
suffered at tho homo of her son. and tho
other Is daughter who groans under the
drudgery to which she Is compelled to SUBJ
nit because of the injustice Of her mother.
Such are their cases as described by the
two women, ono OF whom writes from a dis
tant State, the other from near ut hand But
we will lot each tell her own story. beginning
with the mother neglected and insulted:
"In my old age I have for somo timo been do.
pendent my son. who far know his
business. Ia quito able to support me. My lodg.
ing and food are comfortable and sufficient, but not
my clothing. which. by mending and economy
has far held out. To be dependent 10 dishearten
Ing enough but my porplexity and distress made al
most nsupportabe by the daily and insults Of my
child. His wife is in the country. and has some
sympathy when present. OF her family will say
nothing. The law will not permit suicide. II were
disposed To appeal to tho Charity Commissioners
would be to put my son to open shame and njurs his
business Homes for the aged cannot be sought for tho
reason. aud bee they full.
There doubt many old persons In equally bad
circumstances. and my own situation accept with
thankfuness to Gop for the comforts afforded and
with hope for the future But to In Year, the
insults named almost cause despair. Some indennable
impulse leads me to ask THE SUN for suggestion which
may remedy my trouble for which will bo thank.
full and have no doubt it may be relief to others in
like distress "E. NJ"
This seems a very hard, very touching
case, but that OF the suffering daughter is
nearly as bad, for she also is not young:
"Ihave seen SO many wise hints in answer to your
correspondents that write to ask your advice.
born lady. As long as my father lived had not to
work Since his death have been Obliged for ye
to do the most degrading drudgery in kitchen. work
ing and working for large family in and year out
81 am growing old now. and feel hard work
evory day My father left large property all to my
mother. and she strnightway gave the eldest farm
and large portion of the property She subjects
the family to the most grinding work, and propose to
10 elsewhere and earn my living
"Will you not tel me through the columns Of your
paper IL there is not kind Of work lady get
outside Of hot kitchenf cannot teac but can take
Of children or superintend house where there
servants or can walt and table nicely. Think
there must be kind OF work In the world that IL
congenIal to my TASTE Nv. T. NJ"
We do not doubt that there are many
mothers dependent OH their children, and
who live with them, whose pride rebels
against their dependence. and who feel that
they are In the way in the families OF the
younger people. Perhaps, even II they are
treated with all proper affection and deicacy,
their sensitiveness may make them unhappy.
They feel that they are burden and so re-
garded. Consequently they may be prone to
morbid suspicious, and quick to imagine evil
where 1t has no real existence.
| 1t is true that with us veneration for par
ents Is not common enough. There is little
of that profound regard and religious respect
| for the head Of the family which exist so
consplcuously In Franco, for instance, where
the father and mother never losc their au-
thorlty, and must always be treated with
Difference by their children.
In very many of our families wide gulf
separates the newer from the older genera
ton. Tho parents were brought up In DIFF
fcrent social and moral atmosphere from
that in which tho children live. The parents
may have struggled with poverty; the chill
dren may be rich and fashionable. The par
ents may be illiteratc, or OF a scanty educa-
ton, while the children may be far better
trained. The old people may lack elegance
and even refinement in their manners, while
the young may be pushing their way in O
society which Is very nice In Its notions liz
that regard. Tho mother may DO humble
and awkward. bearing In her form and fea.
lures the traces Of hard work and early de-
privation, while the daughter Is shining as q
queen OF fashion.
Such contrasts are very frequent In New
York. There are young women OF society
who take pains to keep their parents SO
cluded, because Of their unfamilarity will
the ways of the circles the daughters fire.
quent. The old people may not be able Il
speak dramatically. and their early strug
giles with the world In an humble place ma!
have left their marks on them too unmis
takably. To put 1t bluntly, the child In he
elegance Ia ashamed OF her parents In thei
simplicity and homeliness. They belong t,
q totally different world from that In whIcl
1t is her ambition to move.
OF course, under such circumstances filia
} respect and veneration cannot be expected
} The gulf between the two generations is 8
J wide as to be impossible The parent Is a
obstacle to the ambition Of the child, re
minder Of an humble origin she is anxious t
conceal and forget. The parent Is no longe
! the head OF the house, but 1t Is the child VIII
. rules and represents 1t. Fortunate 1t Is 70
. such families II the old and the new genera
! ton can live apart. There is no sympath
between them. The child's natural affectio
, has been drowned In the gulf which separate
child and parent. Snobbishness is stronge
than filial love and respect
From the letter OF the mother who write
D | us we infer that there iS no such gulf b,
I tween her and her son. She expresses hel
> self like woman Of cultivation. But PEI
: haps she has brooded over her situation snt