The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-02-15
HU MOROUs.

! New Ork contains duke VINO Ism
! bogus.
You can never rely upon an echo.
Does not Shakespeare speak OF the cave
where Echo lies?
TIE question which excites the drivers
of public carriages is: docs hack or
a coupe best?"
mo, sir" said the passenger to the
ships doctor, Il am not seasick, but l m
ducedly disguised with the motion of the
vessel"
An elopement: 1t was colored man
with the genuine brogue who said: 1.-THE
Widow Butler has eloped with Marsa
Chusetts. = Vanity Fair.
There is one place of interest in the
United States which l hope my country
men will always avoid. believe they
call it Bunco Hill.-O. Wilde.
hear that General Wallace has writ
ten a book called Ben Hur." If I'd
Ben Hnr, he never should have written
"A book about me.-Ohio Girl.
The best governments are always sub
ject to be like the fairest crystals where
every icicle or grain is seen, which in a
fouler stone is never perceived.
A party advertises for a servant who
must sleep on the premises. An ex-
police or private swatchman might fill
the bill.-New Orleans Picayune.
Don't force your hens to scratch a
frozen manure pile for living these
cold days. Give them plenty of warm
food in the morning and grain at night.
A bald-headed man, who has heard
that the hairs of mans head are mum
bered, wants to know if there is not some
place where he can obtain the back num-
bers.
Little things show us how time flies.
Washington's body servant is thing of
the past, and Gen. Winfield SCOTS
"bo y servants" are beginning to die
now.
Somebody told Gen. Schenk that the
king of Dahomeny had eight queens and
the general abstractedly remarked that
it was a clear case of double dealing
Boston Post.
What kind of fruit does the axletree
bear? is a question propounded by the
Boston Transcript. to which Bulletin
correspondent, signing himself "Smar-
ty,' replies "a nut"
Civility costs you nothing except good
treatment. You must be a ruffian and a
bully in self-defence. If Won Ne polite to
a man, he'll think you're afraid of him
and will bully you.
Some folks ARE never satisfied unless
their business is increasing, but the
dealers in pens, paper and ink are gen
orally content, even although their bus
mess remains stationery.
A young mar who wantel to tea ch
school in Kansas could not tell horizon u
tai from perpendicular, but the comm it.
tee overlooked that, as the members had
been that way themselves.
AS matters are going in this country
Just now, we think seriously of obtain
ing pensions for the chairs of our off ce,
as many of them have lost leg in the
service-Lowell Citizen.
Swear off. On keeping your paper
to yourself all the evening, and then
wondering why your wife never knows
anything about what is going on in the
world Philadelphia News.
Now you may not think it remarka
ble but do, that St. Jacobs Oil cured
me of u case of rheumatism of three
years standing in three weeks, says Mr..
rum Lawful, ulueIiuFu Vi lut elSuln
ward, Chicago, Ill.
Wherein it was possible: Nibbs-
The policeman in my neighborhood is a
trump. can tell you. You car always
find him walking his beat at night"
ribbs-"That's possible; he may be a
somnambulist." - Lou. Courier-J ournal.
Nennor's almanac for 1888 lies before
us. Don't misunderstood us. We don't
mean to say-well, what we do mean is.
that We have received a copy. and that it
contains sixty pages of statements re-
garding the extent. quality and durabil.
lty of next years weather Texas
Siftings.
The following explains the difference
between luck and chance. You take
girl out to the theatre and DISCOVER
that you haven't cent in your pocket
You are compelled to invite her to an
oyster saloon after the performance. She
refuses for some reason; that's luck"
but the chance is a million to that she
accept.