Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-10-05
BRIGHT BITS.

THE reason that woman never puts on
the gloves in the ring is probably tnat IL
would take her too long. She would are
WAYS demand a size smaller than she
could wear.
PROFESSOR to young lady student
Your mark is very low, and you have only
lust passed. Young lady-O, l am so
glad. Professor, surprlsed-W ny lou"S
ladv-I do so love tight squeeze.
A HEALTH JOURNAL advises, ''DO not
lie on the left side" This is very proper
admonition. If you are obliged to lie, be
careful and lie on the right side. lou
will find it paws in the end.-LOloeu Cttt-
zen.
A GENTLEMAN riding through BoYlston
street. and seeing ''Dr." on every other
house, remarked that it would look little
more regular if there was an occasional
''Cr." on the other side of the street.
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
HENDERSON in society: "YOur sister
has a sweet mouth, Mr.. Brown" remark
cd Mrs. Smith. yes" added Henderson,
anxious to say something appropriate,
land such large mouth, too" Every
mouth was shut Immediately and FENDER
son wished he hadn't opened his.
SWEET little Meg came into her sunday
school class one morning, her eyes tlled
with tears. and, looking up into her teach
er's face. said: "Our dogs dead, ana
guess the angels were real scared when
they saw him coming up the path, for he's
awfuny cross to strangers" ETchdnge.
Mr.. BERGH, the 5. p. G. A. man, says
if is cruelty to animals to catch fish with
a hook. There wouldn't be much fun IN
fishing if man had to dive under the wa
ter and hold chlOroform to tish's nose
until it becomes unconscious, and then
hit it on the head with a hammer-N0r-
rjSt0rn Herald.
THERE is a man in Vermont whose
brains have dried up so that they rattle
like beans in a drum when he shakes his
head. We have heard men without brains
rafting with their tongues while they
shook their heads at the audience, and
think that the VermOnter's case is pre-
ferable.- IerdS SittingS.
A LARGE ACQUAINTANCE Granting
that "a mans parlOr is his own has he
right to slam the door in the face of every
Individual of a class numbering SIX MIL
lions. and without any personal knoWl-
edge of 80 per cent. of them, declaring
that not one of them shall ever cross his
threshold ?"-Tbe Christian Recorder.
JOHN GYUMBER, the famous Hungarian
sleeper of Lehigh county, was married
few days ago. From which it may be in
ferred that John has not yet get his eyes
open. Out IlfdIIlCU lllC W III blICii tlCiii w
him, and keep him awake, If anything
will. As the poet would say, "Not an
other long slumber for John Gyumber."-
N0rrjStOlcn Herdld.
"WHY do these men run so fast this
warm weather? Is anybody dying! No!
How red their faces are. They will burst
a blood vessel. See, they are almost faint
ing, but still they try to run. Poor fell
lows! Have they just escaped from
prison?' ENo, my child. They have sum-
mer cottages out of town, and are merely
trying to catch train. Philadelphia
.NetcS.
ONE of the Rev. Levi Philetus DObbs'
weaknesses is metaphor. Here is his
last. 1t is in a reply to one who had
come to him for information: 'You may
be ignorant; but your ignorance shall be
the hand that turns the faucet that sets
in motion the mind whose branches shall
send out rays which shall distill oil upon
the waves of the deadly upas tree."-Ihe
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