National Republican., 1883-06-06
Detroit liar.

SAN A ANToNIo's 100000 saloon with $1,000
worth of mirrors in 1t. is the pride of the town,
and of Texas.
A HARLEM miss pouts because she can't be
real reporter and "go to see the dead bodies in
the morgue and things like that"
Eat onions, Sis" is the Boston Posts ad-
vice to young lady who wants 10 know how to
avoid having mousache on her upper lip
THE Key West, Fla, sponge feet, number
Ing seventy vessels and 600 men, is out on cruise
large catch brings about $4,000 into that city,
AN old maid in Yonkers believes that a
broken heart can be mended by liberal applica-
tion ofgold dust We think she is eminently cor.
rect.
TEXAS Sitings says San Antonio lawyer
docs AN immense business, Judging from reading
his card; III attend to all business in the state
and federal courts"
II SAW you coming out Of bar room the
other day" remarked a lady to gentleman 'You
wouldn't have me stay there all the time, would
you2'--Mdion Ne0s.
AN Oshkosh maiden has q profile of her
recreant lover cut out of gingerbread hanging on
the wall OF her bed room. She considers 1t Just too
sweet for anything.
"a COMMITTEE of architects examined tho
Washington monument yesterday, and came to
the conclusion that II could not stand against A
cyclone, e,"-Erchdn0e. You don't say sol
The average cost of every school house in
Illinois was 81 1865; in Ohio, 81 800; in New York.
1854; In Tennessee, 1862; In Virginia. sl9l; in
North Carolina, $3.50, and in South Carolina, s47.
MRS CRAYoRoFT, the sister of Sir John
franklin, died recently at Dorking, at tho age Of
9Oyears. She spent nearly all of her ample for
tune In fitting out expeditions to search for her
brother.
NEW YORK girls, according TO the Graphic
have become so English " that they will not no
out on the street unattended They must have
chaperon TO parties and the thoater. They won't
go out with young men alone.
TOAD was observed by Mr.. w. II. Smith
TO breakfast upon niue wasps and dine upon eight
more 1t did not swallow bees and wasps immedi.
ately, but first pressed them to death between its
jaws. thus avoiding their sting.
A YOUNG lover in Iowa paid $40 for a loco
motive TO run him thirty FIVE miles to see his girl
and when he got there the family bulldog ran him
two miles and didn't charge him cent. Corpora
tions have no souls.-SiouS city Times.
Col. GEORGE P. BUELL., of the 18th United
States infantry, who died recently at Nashville,
Tenn, will be remembered by Sherman's old
soldiers as tho officer who laid the pontoons on
which so many southern rivers were crossed.
THE now twenty-four hour system Of enum-
Grating time, beginning at midnight has already
been adopted by an Ohio road, and has the merit
Of simplicity. Any man ought, in all reason, to
have plenty OF fun and get home at "a o'clock.
WHAT is that with an apron? That, my
son, is q woman. What is she trying TO do? She
Is trying to drive ten pullets and gentleman hen
out of the garden. VIII she do it7 No, my son,
but she will spoil the garden.-Bvlington Free
Press
AN ignorant housemaid, who had to call a
gentleman to dinner, found him engaged in using
| q tooth brush. "Well, is he coming?' said the
| lady OF the house. when the servant returned.
AYES, maam. directly; he's just sharpening his
| teeth"
THE French Society of Historical Studies
has offered prize of 900 francs for the best essay
upon "the effects, from an economic point Of
view, of the cutting Of the isthmus of Panama on
the relations Of Europe with countries washed by
the Pacific"
IT would not surprise us to learn that Ben
Butler had hand in his own defeat for the Har-
ward degree. He is a democratic candidate for
the presidency, and he must do something to d.
vest himself Of the respectability which he got by
twenty years Of republicanIsm.-GIobe-D Democrat.
AN American young lady singer went to
Europe bearing the name of Mary Jane Boggs,
and her cognomen is now Miss Nina Lafonti 1t
does twist some persons names most terribly out
of shape to travel across the ocean with them. It
must be in the saline qualities of the water.-Nor-
rtstO,0n Herald.
BUSINESS is duller at Denver, at present.
than 1t has been for several years. Every depart-
ment of labor is over full. 1t Is estimated that
there are now 5000 people in Denver out of en-
poyment, and this state of affairs applies TO clerk
ships and such occupations as we'll as to the day
laborers that weld the ak and spade
A GERMAN has invented safe that, on its
| lock being tampered with, throws open its doors,
| selzes and drsgs and locks In tho burglar, and
| handouts and holds him in readiness to be con-
Quoted to the police court in the morning. Tho
Yankee Is experimenting with a set of books for
the use Of county officers, which, as soon as a
fraudulent entry is made in them, will. by
means of clever electrical continuance, sound an
alarm on the court house bell
A MILITARY empire possesses manifold ad.
vantages when 1t comes to tho construction Of
public works. The experience OF Russia In build.
ing railways has repeatedly illustrated this fact,
but seldom In more striking manner than in the
construction Of the Jabinskpinsk railway Tho
road is 100 miles long, and 1t necessary to con-
struct no fewer than sixty nine bridges but mill.
| tary battalions accomplished tho work in Ave
months, at cost to the government of only
sl7,0O mile.
REMAINS of animals, the bones of which
have apparently been broken by man, together
with many stone Implements have been found
In tho crevices between the blocks of lava under
! lying pumice stone pit near Andernach on the
Rhine As the pumice stone filled the creYices to
a depth Of two or three feet and the bones were
beneath this filling in, It is believed that there
was a settlement on the spot the food remains OF
which fell into the creviees before the deposition
OF the pumice stone.
A PHILADELPHIA paper suggests the pro-
prety Of uniorming the letter carriers In knicker
bockers Gen, HuidekopsT had seen the men
with their pantaloons ragged and dirty in wet
weather, and he thought that something should
be done 10 protect their clothing. The postmen
could not easily carry umbrellas and even II they
did II would not help the rough appearance Of
the pRntaloons Of number of them. The idea is
TO have knee breeches for the carriers and In the
summer they will wear light gray stocking, and
IN the winter heavier one OF the same material
with light leather leggngs In addition It Is pro-
posed to have the carriers wear shoe that sup
ports the ankle well. The proposition will ba
submitted to the department at Washington.
DIR. JoHN 8. MAIN discusses in the British
Medical Journal what he calls cerebral dyspepsia.
A sudden piece of bad news, as is we'll known,
will take away all desire to eat even when tho
stomach is empty, and the man perfectly healthy, ,
and Il is often the case that physicians treat dys-
pepsia, which is really the expression or indlca.
ton Of an oyer-worrled BRAIN The true COURSE
is to use medicines that act directly upon tho
oeTebrum. have found, he says, the most useful
TO be bromide OF ammonium, or bromide of DO.
| "a tha .l,y