Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1883-08-02

OF all the wonders OF tine world the
tower of Pisa is the leanest. -BaHinlor.
Every Saturday.
1t was rather cowardiy in the apoplexy
to strike little fellow like Tom Thumb
-Boston Transcript.
Emerson says, Glitch your wagon to 6
star" Freddy Gebhardt has evidently
followed his advice.-Boston Budget.
During the summer months the cri.
terion of veracity will be transferred from
the grsvestone to the circus poster.-ON
City Derrick. ....
It is tue same old story. Two Illinoi.
farmers had dispute about the boundary
lines OF their farms. Their dispute is
now settled, aud so are the lawyers-or
their farms. hilQdelphiu News.
A young man married against the
wishes OF his parents, and, in telling q
friend how to break the news to them
said: "rell them first that am dead
and gently work up to the climax"
A colorado excase-Countsss 81 told
you expressly to paint the chamber
blood-color, and you have made it blue -
Painter: 81 beg your pardon. thought
the gracious Countess had blue blood .
If brooms are wet in boiling suds once
week they become very tough, and will
not break up SO easily when a fond wife
is demonstrating with her husband and
trying to induce him to do better.-Ljis
marck Tribune. $50.
DR.. Mary Walker is still threatening
the Government because she WAS removed
from her desk in the pension bureau
Mary should accept the opportunity to &c
into retirement and patch her trowsers.-
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Postmaster General Gresham has issued
an order that tirst-class and second class
postmasters must remain at their post.
and attend to business. We don't very
we'll see how tirst-class postmaster car
do anything else.-Ier0s SYtings.
"What books shall we take syay 10,
! the summer 70 asks the Philadelphif
Bulletin. II you're going to Newport OIL
Long Branch, Francis, we would suggest
that you take pook .tbook one abou
3 feet long and rs inches wide will las
you a whole week -Burlmg on Ha,ckeys
A New York boy drank pint o
whisky, went swimming, ate q lot o
green apples, drank large quantity o
ice water, ard then went TO bed. Mex
morning he was found dead. About til,
worst thing boy can do il hot weather
is to fill himself up with ice water
| Nofris.opu Herald
Explicit soene-An humble couptr,
hotel. Male guest--l'd lIks to be called
at tomorrow morning I'm going fish
ing. Female domestic (stupidly )0Bh
Male guest deliberately I'm goint
hshlng tomorrow morning and wish t
be called early later than 4. Femal
domestic (stolidly) Whl you ring i-Life
Colonel John II. George, the big New
Hampshire barrister, tells good stor,
on himself, according to Judge johnson
Meeting an old farmer recently whom h
had known in his youth, the old felloy
congratulated the gallant colonel on hi
youthful appearance and the surprising
way in which he held HIS own. slow i
it you've msnaged to keep 80 fresh an
good looking all these years " d vi
he. WELL said George, "I'll tell a
I've always d4ant new rum and vo. !.
the Democratic ticket" col. yes
said the old msu, 81 See how it is !; on
pizen neutrslizes the other, -JLarlI9rc
(Mass.) Times.
Now the prudent country house wifi
saith to her liege lord "Verily / hav
scheme" And she taketh seven dol
lars and buyeth furniture Herewith an
garnisheth room that oyerlooketh til
goose pond, and buyeth kit of No.
mackerel, and straightway she adver
tiseth in the city papers for bosrders, an
announoeth that she has apartment
with water view and sea food. And Their
oometh to her house ye citizen known a
Blimphule and he payeth her $l7 pc
week and sleepeth on feather bed an
eateth of the mackerel OF her house, an,
thereout sucketh she no small advantage
For verify the citizen must go in Ii
country and have change Of air an
diet.-Plck.