davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-22
A Norwegian Sea-DOg.

He was Withholding fellow, our
pilot, and an artist in search of charac-
ter sketches would have greeted his
appearance with delight. A tall, thin
body, clad in worn, patched clothes,
that were all too light and thin for sea-
faring work, even in summer time.
Above the body a gaunt and almost
haggard face, that was SCARED with
deep lines in the upper part and COW
cred with tangled bed of tow-like
hair in the lower portion, as hungry
looking, half-clothed specimen of
humanity as it would be easy to pick
up, even upon the coast of Norway.
Yet he had bright, keen eye, q steady
hand at the tiller, and the way in which
he CALCULATED the few orders he had to
give showed that knowledge of his
work had not been starved or frozen
out of him. He would, / am sure, have
been first-rate man for vessel in
distress, from the prompt and efficient
manner IN which he repaired his own
deficiencies. His work had not been
finished half an hour before the fore
castle was literally astounded at the
capacity for slowing away provisions
that he displayed. The style in which
he could gulp down half tumbler of
rum was as refreshing to lookerOn
as the liquor evidently was to himself,
and as he went over the ships side,
buttoning mp an old pilot-coat that had
been found for his benefit, it was evil
dent that his poverty and not his will
compelled him to put up with scanty
raiment. 1t is better to be a pilot in
Sweden than in Norway, to Judge from
waist measurement and outer clothing.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-22
A Story About Whistler.

"a friend of mine" said my inform
ant, was wandering through a street
in London one rainy, foggy night about
IL o'clock, in doubt as to whether he
should go to the club for a rubber at
whist, or to go home. What is that
you? Why, how are you, my dear fell
low He turned and there was Whist
Ter, just az wet as he. This Is good
luck, said the artist; come home with
me and have some beer and cracker.
So off they went to Whistler's house,
in the suburbs somewhere, through the
rain and darkness. Once there the
house was as black as the night.
Whistler rang the bell but there was
no reply. He rang again and still
harder, but apparently he might as
well have tried to wake the dead.
There wasn't sign of life in the house.
Well, for nearly half an hour those two
men stood at the door and tried in vain
to get into the house, Whistler, L am
afraid, swearing at the stupidity of his
servants, while the vision of quiet
chat over the beer and crackers gradu-
ally began to fade from my friends
mind.
FINALLY, however, the door opened
few inches and the two men were soon
conducted in very mysterious manner
through the hall and few rooms, not
ray of light meanwhile being visible.
Here Whistler left his guest for few
moments, and in his absence, 10 the
whole house suddenly blazed with
lights. The doors between the apart
ments were simultaneously thrown
open, and a gorgeous scene presented
itself. In the elegant dining hall was
table loaded with all the delicacies of
the season, and set off with the rarest
of old CHM, and glass In exquisite
shapes and designs. Wines were there
in abundance; and in their proper
places were the buffers and servants,
ready to do their bidding at this
sumptuous repast. This was Whist
ler's lunch of crackers and cheese
The whole affair said my friend, was
one of Whistler's strong conceits-his
apparently accidental meeting with me
when he had probably been hunting
for me for hours), his selection of mid
night for such an escapade, his inabil-
ity to get into his house Gall arranged
beforehand), and his surprise for me
when L entered. No man bot Whistler
would think of such thing, and no
one else would carry it out in such per-
lection as he. There was enough for
twenty men on the table, and there we
two sat till early morning, eating and
talking of thousand things. LON
don letter.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-22
What n Baby Can DO.

A baby can wear out 81 pair of kid
shoes in twenty-four hours. 1t can
keep its father busy advertising in the
newspapers for n nurse. 1t can occupy
both sides of the largest-sized bed
manufactured simultaneously. 10 can
make the authors of it's beings wash
bills foot up to 50 week and not be
feeling at all we'll. 1t can crowd to
suffocation the smoking-car of a rail
road train with indignant passengers
between two stations. 1t can cause its
father to be insulted by every second
class clearinghouse keeper in the city
who never take children" IL can
make an old bachelor in the room adj
joining use language that, if uttered on
the street, would get him into the peni-
Tertiary for two years. 1t can, in ten
minutes, drive man frantically from
his home, and cause him to seek the
companionship OF locomotive blowing
off steam.-Philddelphia call.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-22

The Slim Mans Remarkable Shot.
A number of gentlemen were in the
depot waiting-room admiring fine lot
of ducks a friend had shot up on the
lake, and were somewhat surprised to
hear him tell of killing three ducks
with one discharge of his gun. About
this time slim, pointed-nosed man,
who had been quietly listening, re-
marked:
THAT'S nothing very extraordinary"
"May be that's the way you always
kill ducks" sarcastically remarked she
hunter.
"Wal, that depends on how load my
gum" replied the slim man.
"Then il does make a difference how
you load, does it?. L presume you use
about peck of six-ounce bullets?' re-
marked the hunter, who began to feel
that the glory with which he had
covered himself, had melted, and was
beginning to run off,
"Wal, now don't you get ratified. 1
lont know as I'll give the scheme
away" retorted the slim man.
How many ducks did you ever kill
IN one shot?" asked an interested
listener.
wal, stranger, I've killed and strung
over fifty of EN-" answered the SLIM
man.
Fifty ducks at one shot" exclaimed
half dozen.
Eyes, over fifty" replied the islm
man, IAN don't mind telling We how
twas done, if we really want to know.
How on earth could you do such a
thing? You must have been where the
ducks were thick? ventured q meek
looking individual.
wal, if yell give me a chance I'll
tell we. l took a trip up to Calumet
several years ago, and / never seed SO
many ducks IN all my life. L took an
old musket along and one cartridge"
"One cartridge!" exclaimed half
dozen. "You don't mean to say you
only took one cartridge and no other
ammunition 2"
"Wal |, l didn't take anything else but
an old army musket, one cartridge and
q big spool of wire thread. That's the
sum total of what / always take. Ye
see, I"
What was the wire for?" inquired
the meek man.
"Wait till l finish, hang it, an yell
know. Wal, when L got out on clear
water away from the rushes L saw about
1,000,00 ducks right ahead of me. L
just took the end of the wire and fast
ened it to the bullet in the cartridge
and loaded my gun an put the spool
on the bottom of the boat, where L
thought it wouldn't become tangled up,
and then waited for a good chance. L
happened to blow my nose, which, of
course, made q noise, when every duck
raised his head to see what was up. l
drew bead on the eye of the duck
nearest to me and pulled the trigger
before they had chance to get scared.
Jewhiz how that spool did spin while
the wire was unwinding. The ducks
flew away, frightened by the noise of
the gun, but l had just $50 ducks, all
strung by their heads on that wire.
The bullet had gone through their
heads, dragging the wire with it, and it
took eyes every time excepting one; it
took the tail of that duck just as he
raised from the water. The bullet
would have caught more ducks only the
spool got caught before the wire was
all unwound and stopped it. L believe
if L had another cartridge and another
spool Of"
The slim man found himself talking
to the stove. The rest bad fled, and
none but he remained. -Peck'S san.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-22
From the Burlington Hawkeye.I

YOUNG FAsTBoY says the first girl he
ever waltzed with was all the whirled
TO him.
The cable announces as important
news the fact that "Mr. Slingsby
Bethel, an official of the House of
Lords, is coming to America to visit
his sons, who live in the United States.
1--WE know o man in Missouri named
Snagsby Chancel; wonder if he could
be one of Slingsby's boys"
You will please observe one thing
about railway lunch counters The
man who growls the most also eats the
most, and the fellow who jokes about
the indestructible sandwiches, thinks
he is in hard luck if he doesn't get away
with half dozen before the gong
strikes.
The pastor of church in New Mil
ford, Ct, has been compelled to re-
sign, because he stole his sermons.
Oh, foolish congregation, to kick when
he stole better ones than he could
write. We have heard some parsons
for whom we gladly would have stolen
some sermons, on condition that they
never would preach their own.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-22
No Use Trying.

It's no use trying to make Christian
of an Indian. 1t can't be done. Now,
here is Lola Scott, the converted Greek.
He says that fifty years ago he used to
paint himself up, and indulge in war
dances, and go out on the war-path and
scalp pale-faces and other hostiles, and
was, to all intents and purposes, bold,
bad Indian, be the same more or less
Then he was converted, joined the
church, took off his war-paint and
feathers, buried the tomahawk, and
what has he done since then? Sold
800 sewing machines, and keeps on sell
ing them Give him back his bonarrers
again,-R. j. Burdette.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-22
HUMOR.
from Carl Pretzel.s weehy.l


HEAD winds-Blowing your nose.
GRASS widows are not always in
clover.
A FINISHED artist mixes his colOrs
with brains.
A COOL proceeding ice wagon
making its rounds.
LIZ brevity is the soul of wit, there
is good deal of fun in dudes coat
tail.
"ONE good turn deserves another"
as the tug-boat Captain said to the
bridge tender.
"WHY are you SO distant?" said
tramp to the beafsteak in the restau-
rant window.
"MAN wants but little here below"
but every publisher wants his full sub
scription price.
ANY young man who aspires to be a
humorist is advised to drink sarsa-
parilla. 1t is good for the humor.
"WHAT grows up must grow down,
said a dear father as he mournfully
observed his young hopeful struggling
with delicate mustache.
A YOUNG lady don't lack much OF
making a gun out of herself when she
powders her face, sets her cap, goes to
ball and snaps at the dudes.
From the Norristown Herald
FANS have existed for at least 5000
years, or representations of these wind
persuaders have been discovered on the
tombs of Thebes. The friends of the
deceased evidently knew in which di-
rection the departed were going, and
put on their tombstones pictures of the
articles they most needed in the other
world. 1t is suspected that the fan it
self was inferred with the remains.
A TENNEssEE girl who has gray eyes,
makes them appear blue and bright
"by wearing a hat lined with dark blue
velvet and eating Jumps of sugar on
which has been dropped little CO.
logne." A Tennessee man who has
gray eyes can make them appear black
and blue by simply calling Slugger
Sullivan liar and horse-thief
The editor wrote "Bonny Kate Field
is on her travels through the exchanges
once more" and it came out in the
paper "Boney Kate" etc. The editor
is paving 10 cents apiece for all the cop
les of that issue, for the purpose of de-
stroying them, and if the entire edition
cannot be secured he says he will go to
Alaska until the affair SHOWS ever"
WHEN a young man becomes inn
patient waiting half an hour for his
girl, who left the room with the remark
that she would "be ready in two
minutes" he should not manifest his
uneasiness, but let his mind revert to
the stock of patience exhibited by the
physician who counted the holes or cells
in the human lungs and discovered that
the whole number was ia, 000,0 600.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-22

No HEART is empty of the humor of
curiosity; the beggar being as attentivf
in his station to an Improvement oe
knowledge as the Prince.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-22

AFRICA makes money showing her
worries. The export averages 50, 300, 900
worth year.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1883-11-22

JULIA A. MOORE, the sweet singer of
Michigan, has disposed of 4, 900 volumes
Of her poems.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-12-01

wears past Professor of Mathematics in
the Mississippi College, at Clinton, MISS,
died at that place Sunday.
Rosa BRUCK, the ideal type of Jewish
beauty. aged sweet Is, has scored q
triumph at the Theatre Francois IN Paris
as ssAlemene' in MOliere's ''Amphltry-
on.'
THE new Spanish Minister at Washing
ton, Senior Juan Valera, IS sald 10 DC d
literatteur of the first rank in Spain. some
of his many books have been widely trans
lated.
Coz, INGERSOLL recently received a
letter from an Ohio man covering ninety
pages Of f0olscap pasted end to end. me
writer wished to have q friendly argument
with the infdel.
Miss WILLIE WRITER'S, daughter OF
ex-senator Withers, of West Virginia, can
handle a shotgun with an accuracy Of
aim that exceeds that Of many pretentlous
sportsmen, and many birds are brought
down on the wing by her seldom erring
sight.
ANNA SUTTON, whose life has just ap-
peared in England, was a master Of
Greek. Latin. French, Italian, Hebrew,
Arabic and Chaldaic, and when past -
years Of age she astOnished learned
rabbi by conversng with him in Hebrew.
She was a native of Ireland.
THE late DR.. Marion Sims left a spark
ling sketch. which will appear in the
February Harper. 1t is entitled Lydia
Mckay and Col. TarletOn," and describes
one Of the most romantic episodes of the
Revolution, the rescue of her imprisoned
husband by the fair and clever Lydia.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-12-01
The Address of the Virginia Demo-
Gratis.


Gratis.
Leading Republican papers, ever since
the Virginia election, have been endeav-
oring to make the country believe that
Malone was beaten because the negroes
were prevented from voting. They charge
that the negroes were intimidated, bull
dozed. and some OF them murdered in or
der to keep the negro vote from being
pOIled. The Danville affair has been pre-
scented in different ways, but always so as
to place the blame for the riot on the
white people. 1t may be that the
Republican leaders intend to move for
Congressional Investigation, and that the
purpose Of their journals is to prejudice
public sentiment against the truth. If
this is their purpose the probabilities are
that they will fail. The Democratic
leaders of Virginia do not intend to be
cheated out of the legitimate fruits Of
their victory, and they will take good care
to see that all the facts bearing upon the
late race troubles in their State are pre-
scented to the public. The Demo-
cratic state Central Committee
have issued an address, extracts
from which we publish this morning, re-
viewing the late campaign and placing
the responsibility for tie Danville affair
where it belongs. This address shows
that the Malone leaders, by their intem-
perate speeches to the negroes, excited
them to acts which led to all the disturb
auces which occurred in the State. Had
the negroes maintained 4 peaceable atti-
4 Mo ,A
Danville, and no loss OF human life from
political causes in any other part of
the State. The assertion that the negroes
were kept away from the polls is refuted
by the number OfyOtes cast. The number
was larger than ever before known in the
history of the State. In 1876 the total
vote was 23j. DDS. That was the largest
vote ever polled in Virginia up to the last
election. This year the vote was 2T2,654.
With this showing, it may we'll be asked,
where are the voters who were deferred
from voting? The COalitionists cannot
claim that there was any falling off in
their vote, because an examination Of the
figures shows that they cast $4,000 more
votes than in 1881, and $4,000 more than
in 1882. They increased their vote by
more than One-fOurth over their vote of
last year. This does not look as if the
negroes had been inundated and
driven from the polls. The truth
is that the white people OF
Virginia became tired of Malone and his
boss methods, and thousands Of them who
seldom 90 to the polls turned out on last
election day for no other purpose than to
put an end to Maboneism. This was the
real cause Of MahOne's defeat, and if his
friends, the Republican leaders, bring
about an investigation of the Virginia
campaign they will be forced to admit it
if they can be convinced by the truth.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-12-01
PERSONAL.

Miss FANNY EVERETT, aged 81, has
been Postmistress of West FoXbOrough,
Mass, for % years.
MRS. DAHLGREN is credited with al
most fabulous profits from her novel on
Washington society.
THE engagement of Congressman Perry
Belmont to Miss Langdon has been termi-
mated by the young lady.
EX-Gov. HORATIO SEYMOUR and wife
will pass the winter at the residence of
John f. Seymour in Utica.
THE widow of the late Col. Thomas A.
Scott, the railroad king, is in Paris, &C
companIed by her mother and daughter.
JASPER ELCHER, of Sherman, Texas,
divided his property among his children,
and they then sent him to the pOOrhOuse.
BEN BUTLER SAYS he has a warm place
in his heart for the newspaper reporter,
but he never yet could agree with night
editor.
A PETERSBURG letter to the Richmond
DISPATCH says that Senator Malone has
scarcely been seen on the streets at all
since the day of election.
PROF. FL. c. TDIBERLAKE, for many
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-12-01
BRIGHT BITS.

"BRIGHT electric lights of the New
World" is what Mrs. CORVALLIS West
| calls the American photographers. Mrs.
West has paved the way for warm re-
ception.
"WHAT is the worst thing about riches ~
asked a Sunday school teacher. "That
they take unto themselves wings and fly
away" promptly replied the boy at the
foot of the class.
a CHICAGO man set out to give his
wife little surprise the other night. He
went home early and sober, and by so
doing, not only completely surprised her,
but also neighbOr.
THE London Times says that Mary An
dersOn never gets at the heart of her
audience. She gets very near it, though.
An inside breast pocket is close enough
to the heart to suit Mary.
NEVER interrupt a woman when she is
scOlding. A broken rail has often been
known to wreck train, and if you break
her rail it will certainly interrupt her
train OF thOught.-OH city Blizzard.
THE Chicago Inter- ocean says: ''There
are unmistakable signs that the coming
year will be a whooping good season for
the gamblers in Chicago Yes, loose
sleeves are coming into fashion for one
thing.
A MAN named Gasbill recently applied
to the Arkansas Legislature to change
his name, because his girl always objected
to his figure whenever he'd metre. She
said he was too high, and turned him off.
The Judge.
Mr.. CORVALLIS WEST shutters lit
tie, il is said. This explains how he hap
pened to get a professional beauty for a
wife. His long drawn out manner of pop
ping the question made the lady so ner-
vOus that she said yes and threw herself
into his arms in order to choke him off.
HE WAS a very thoroughly reformed
gambler, and they were glad to elect him
a deacon of the church; but on the very
first Sunday that he assisted in taking up
the collection. when, he met the senior
deacon up by the chancel, he whispered
softly: "Bet you fifty even Eve raked the
biggest pot."-Pack.
''YEs," she said. ''Mary came near be-
ing an old maid. You see, her father was
a Governor, her brother Colonel and her
brother-in-law a scientist Of note. Being
of such a distinguished family she had to
be very particular who she married, and
she came billing near not getting any
body"
4 PRECOCIOUS child, having broken
one of his mothers cut glass tumblers,
was confronted by his irate parent, who
wrathfuIly cried: s'Tis well you tremble,
for have blood in my eye.'' ''Nay, be
not deceived, dear mother" said the pre-
cOciOus child, '"tis not the blood in your
eye but the switch in your hand that
makes me trembleo
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-12-01
6i,tnrr Als.
DIRECT I'M p O RT Alto N.
80 Casks Cantrell & COchrane'S Ginger Ale
JAMES McGRATH g. co.
narI,rr'o Inmir .
SONGS Never Sung.

How does that verse run? Something Ike
this, isn't it:
There are those who touch the magic string
And noisy fame is proud TO win them;
Alas! for those who never sing, -,
But die with all their music IN them'
Yes. that's beautiful, pathetic and true
said your representative. Tine poet aluueI
10 people who are somehow suppressed anu
never get their full allowance OF JOY ana ar.
Which reminds me OF a letter SHOWN me t1e
other day bv HscON 4 Co, OF New ORR,
signed by Mr.. Z. c. Williams, OF chapman
SNYDER county. Pa. prominent busl-
ness man of that place. He writes: 80
~ have suffered with asthma for over ~
years. and had terrible attack IN December
and January, 1882. | hardly know what
prompted me to take PARKER Tonic. qua
so. and the first day | took four doses. The
effect astonshed me. That night slept as II
nothing was the matter with me, auu nave
ever since. have had colds since, Out In no
asthma. NV breathing Is now as per-
feet as if l had never known that disease II
YOU know of any one who has asthma tell nm
in my name that PARRER'S TONIC Will cure IL
even after 30 years There was q man VINO
escaped the fate of those whom the poet Ia
ments."
This preparation, which has heretofore been
known as PARKER'S GINGER TONIC, VIII
hereafter be advertised anu sofa unuef the
name of PARKER'S TONIC. Inasmuch as gin
ger IS really an unimpOrtant lngredlent, ana
unprincipled dealers are constantly decelvlnS
their customers BY substituting interior pre-
paratIOns under the name OF ginger, we drop
the misleading word.
There is no change, however. IN the prepa-
ration ITSELF and all bottles remaining IN the
hands of dealers wrapped under the name OF
PARKER'S GINGER Tonic contain the genuine
medicine if the fac-simile Signature Oh HIS
COX x co. is at the bottom OF the outside
wrapper.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-12-01
The Interior Department Report

The report Of the Secretary Of the lnte-
nor brief extracts from which Will be
found in our telegraph columns reviews
at length the work Of the different bureaus
during the year. The Secretary fayOrs more
SCHOOLS for Indian children. He also favOrs
Federal aid 70 education in the different
States He Is particularly anxious that
the salaries Of Indian agents shall be
raised. He makes no mention Of the fact
that. according TO common report, these
agents make their agencies pay them
very handsomely in ways that are hardly
legitimate. The Patent Office appears to
De- doing a fourishing business. The sal
aries Of examiners and assistant exam
liners will have 70 be raised, if competent
men are 70 be retained in those positions.
A good many pension claims nave been
disposed Of during the year, but there
annears 10 be an immense number of
cases vet unsettled. The Secretary wants
Conrress 70 do. something with unearned
land grants. These grants are a source
Of eaeat deal Of trouble, and the secre-
tarv Is right in recommending that some
aisposition be made Of them.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-12-01
SHARE OF EACH STATE.

In table annexed to his letter, Mr.
Blaine shows that the share of each State
and Territory, on the basis Of population.