Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-06-16
HUMOROUS DRIFT.

death and yet not be able to see the
point.
Two heads are better than one on
a copper at toss-penny when it is
your toss.
An Erie woman has robbed hair
store. Like pistol she went off with
a bang.
Now is the time to get up a corner
IN coal. The corner should be in the
parlor CRATE.
Oyster beds are always covered by
a flowing sea; of course, the wet
sheet is understood.
When a convict's watch runs down,
it does not necessarily follow that
his time has expired.
No, Charley. / shall not join the
1. 0. O. f. this season, l am too much
occupied with the /. 0. US.
The first Florida shad of the sea
son sold for IS. The buyer wanted
him to start bone-yard with.
Tom Thumb tried to knock down
Chicago hackman, and was mad be-
cause the man didn't know it.
Even the festive cockroach is to be
protected" duty of ten cents a
box having been put on borax.
Bayard Taylor called snowfakes
the wild white bees Of winter"
When they swarm, it is singing cold
A little child of seven or eight said
that when the Bible speaks of ''chil-
dren's children it must mean dolls.
There are people malicious enough
to say that the rest which Jay Gould
wants is the rest of the railroads.
A Bowery music teacher says that
he has taught 1900 boys to play the
violin in five years. Poor cats!
Why are squashes and girls alike
Because they both have to be mashed
before they can press your lips.
When your dog goes three times
around, like a gallant ship, before
lying down, he is locking for the
bolster.
One Waterbury man is so religious
that he sent back the present of a
calendar because il omitted the Sun
days.
There are two tides to a question
Often tramp is on one side and Q
man with peck tful of money on the
other.
A writer, in lIarper's, commences
a poem with til , line, "Some day
shall be dead" 1t is, indeed, beau
tiful thought
Correspondents of the New Yorh
Sun are discussing the question Gar
a man marry on $40 week?" Hs
cannot, if tn, girl is aware of the
amount of his income.
The newspapers often print the
sslast words" of men, but never hose
of women. The latter would take w
too much room, and crowd OFT al
the ADVERT sements.
30, my poor heart! My he art il
breakingw walled girl. Ard yet
the doctor who was called in pre-
scribed lime water. and told her she
had better leave off eating fried porE
for few days.
A man always looks through his
pockets four times before handing
his coat to his wife to have buttor
sewed on, and even then he is filled
with nameless fear until the job ii
completed.
"And this is married lifew exclaimed
an indignant wife, as her husband
reeled into the room and tried to si
down on the door-knob. "Shert'nly
m dear-shert'nly. Marriage is only
a lot o rye"
"You wouldn't take me for mar
ried man, would you ?" asked student
of a CORTLAND girl last Sunday
night. II rather think / would if yor
should ask me-" was the response
He bought ring next day.
A nice fellow: "Nice fellow!' she
exclaimed; "well, I should think he
wasl Why, he don't do any business
he belongs to three clubs, has $50, 00(
year, is divorced from his wife, and
has led about thirty Germans this
season."
The maiden's point of view: Nam
ma Ito Maud, who has been with hel
brother to the play and is full of it,
-"Bdt was there NO love in the piece
then?" Maud-"Lovei Oh, dear, no
mamma. How could there BET The
principal characters were husband
and wife. you know|
On the boulevard. after a long
separation: whats new with your
Nothing; always a bachelor; and
your "Oh, I'm married" "Good
match?" "A widow, still young, but
with two children" "That is regret
able, my dear. Children, you know,
are like toothpicks; each wants his
own"
"If your boarding house should
take fire at night what would you do
to get the people out?" asked the
Fire Marshal of an experienced
matron. 20, there would be nc
trouble about that" was the reply;
TT would just ring the breakfast
bell, and all the boarders would be in
the dining room in three minutes. y
A little Austin boy became con-
fused, and got his catechism mixed
up with his lessons. for when he was
asked what the school was, he re-
piled: at is the place where the
wicked are punished everlastingly by
Satan" The teacher thought the