davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18
A JOKE ON A CANDIDATE.

When Colonel Singleton was candidate for congress from one of the hill districts of Arkansaw, he had a rich experience. He soon became the butt of his opponents jokes, and as there were ten aspirants for the position, his life was an exaggerated burden. Once when the candidates, on horseback, were going to meet an appoint ment of oraterical contest, Singleton fell behind, determining no longer to submit to their raillery. The party passed out of sight, leaving the disconsolate candidate to his own reflections. A slight rain had fallen, and when the party crossed broad, shallow creek, one young fellow conceiv- ed the idea of joke. Suppose" said he, "that we take off our coats and wait until Singleton comes Ill sight, when we will put them on, giving to him the i'm pression that the creek Is deep. We'll not say anything to him, and he will think that we want him to plunge into the wat err
 The idea was acted on. Pretty soon Singleton came along.
 'That's all right" he yelled when he saw the men hurriedly putting on their coats. ''I understand you. Want me to get wet, eh p
 He dismounted, and although the day was fearfully cold he took off his clothes, mounted and carefully guiding the horse, he entered the stream. The water was not more than six inches deep, and when he perceived the cruel joke he stood up in the stirrups and began to fume, when his clothes fell into the water and began to float away. In attempting to reach over and regain them, he fell and his horse staggering, stepped on him. His rage was terrific, and when he arrayed himself in his garments, he borrowed a gun at a neighboring house and chased his political opponents fifteen miles, totally forgetting his appointment to speak.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18
Remember This.

If you are sick Hop Bitters will surely aid Nature in making you we'll when all else fails.
 If you are costive or dyspeptic, or are sui fering from any other of the numerous dis eases of the stomach or bowels, it is your own fault if you remain ill, for Hop Bitters are a sovereign remedy Tn all such complaints.
 If you are wasting away with any form ot Kidney disease, stop tempting Death this mo. ment, and turn for cure to Hop B tiers.
 If you are sick with that terrible sickness Nervousness, you will find 'Balm in Gil cad" in the use of Hop Bitters.
 If you are frequenter, or resident of 6 miasmatic district, barricade your system against the scourge of all countries-malarial, epidemic bilious, and intermittent feversby the use of Hop Btters.
 breah pains and aches and feel miserable generally Hop Btters will give you fair skin, rich blood, ant sweetest breath, health, and comfort.
 In sbort they cure all Diseases of the stomach, Bow els, Blood, Liver Nerves, Kidneys sBrights Disease $500 will be paid for they will not help
 That poor, bedrdden, invalid wife, sister, mother daughter, can be made the picture of health, by few bottles of Hop Btters costing but triie. Vii you let them suffer?
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

Harper's Weekly: Only those who read the Congressional Record-and they are not large body-know the tact and skill with which Senator Hawley, chairman of the committee on civil service reform, conducted the reform bill through the de- bate to the triumphant result. He with stood successfully the mass of vicious and treacherous amendments which were hurl- ed at the bill by its enemies, and the most important addition to it, the section pro- hibiting political assessments ill the pub lie service, is substantially the bill intro duced by Senator Hawley on the 9th of December, as reported by him on the 11th, and offered by him as an amendment to the Pendleton bill, and it was unanimous ly adopted by vote of fifty senators. Senator Edmunds, from the judiciary con- mlttee, on the 23d of December reported separate bill, which is of the same general purport, and which passed the senate and went with the other to the house. The senator clearly explained the constitu- l tional reason of the limitation of the origi- nal Hawley amendment as well as of his own bill. Senator Hawley has thus led the way in destroying the abuse of official assessments, and the just indignation of the country with offenses of this kind which were revealed last summer has found in his action prompt and effective expression. For the manner i'll which the bill was brought through without more serious detriment, the country is indebted to Senator Hawley and his friends.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

Robert Morris, the negro lawyer, who lately died in Boston, left property worth $1O0,000. There was something singular about his profitable clientage: He went or was very strong, and yet his clients were for long time almost entirely among the Irish people, who had great faith in his legal powers. On the other hand, the negroes of the city were rather shy of him, and he never gained much practice from them.
 Reliable help for the weak, nervous, and debiltatel dyspeptic sufferer found in Brown s Iron BitterE.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

THE O1D WAy.-Away back in 1925, Con. necticut people when they had coughs and colds, used to cure them very readily. Gu, fore-fathers were quite as robust, and lived longer than people of this generation. We commend the recipe then in use, to the care ing the receipt, however, it is due to truth tc state, that it is the best remedy of which we have any knowledge, and we have tried about all ins.the market too. It is a specific for all kindred troubles of the lungs, throat ane head, for inflammation of the mucous mem brane of the nose produced by catarrh it has no equal. It has proved sure cure wher taken in the first stage of consumption. Wt allude to American Cough Drops. Sold by Druggists, 35 cents bottle.
 Not confectiOn or lozenge, but liquid. KAL1ooR1NE prevents hair from turning gray, and If gray restores it's original color Price 50 cents.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

HONEST AND LIBERAL.-When the Hops in each bottle of Hop Bitters Cat the present price, $1,25 per lb.,) cost more than bottle is sold for, besides the other costly medicines, and the quality and price are kept the same, we think it is honest and liberal in the pro- prietors, and no one should complain, or buy or use worthless stuff, or cheating bogus im- |ltations because the price is less.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18
CONNECEICUT.
 Telephone Company.

The following persons are now connected With the Exchange:
 store:of w. R. Small, Central Oface) Stafford Springs. stafford National Bank, '' Residence of G. M Ives, Rawitser < < Bros 9aiGe, Pfs;a.ncs (" Mineral Springs Co.'S Office, :: Residence of Hon. Julius Converse, :" N. L. N. R. R. Co.'S Office, W. U. Telegraph Office. Wm. Smith 6 Co.'S Of6ce Residence of w. H. Cooley, Poland County Press Office, E. A. Buck 6 Co.'S Store, Dimock Bros Market, pr. c. B. Newton's Office, pr. F. L. Smiths Office, " E. c. Dennis Office, [" Dr. H. D. Gould's Office, " Dr. |. B. Richards Office, |" pr. J. s. Clark's Office, " Warren Woolen Co.'S Office, " Glyn Co.'S Office, {Glynviue) " .. Holmes Coal and Lumber Y'd Office, " R. s. Beebe's Store, Stafford Hollow. Phoenix Woolen Co.'S Mill Hydeyille 5. B. Amadon's Machine Shop, StaffordviNe E. A. Converse's Office A. s. Eaton's Store, Rawitser & Bros Fabian Mill
 Rates to subscribers with instrument $2O per year with transmitter $29 For transmission of messages 0etWeen non-suDscr1bers, 20 cents. Messages from Western Union Telegraph Line delivered at any point reached by telephone for 20 cents.
 Omces for transmission of messages between nom subscribers: w. R. Small's store, {Central Ofice) stafford Springs; R. S. Beebes store Stafford Hol- loW; A. 5. Eaton's store, Staffordville.
 Central Office open from a. m. to 10 D. m Sum- days from to 10 a. m., 4 to 5 D. m
 The magneto telephone is the only one that works satisfactorily at all times. The blowing of the wind or falling Of rain drops the wire does trouble it.
 No danger from lightning.
 For other information inquire of
 W. R. Small General ManaUe
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

At recent dinner in Boston at which no women were present, a man, in re- spending to the toast, "Woman," dwelt almost solely on the frailty of the sex, claiming that the best among them were little better than the worst, the chief diff ference being in the surroundings. At the conclusion of his speech a gentleman trust the gentleman, in the application of his remarks, refers to his own mother and sisters, not to ours." The effect of this most just and timely rebuke was over- covered with confusion and shame.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18
New York and New England R. R. Time Table.

Additional trains leave Hartford for Bristo-3.4s m. Return 5.33. a. m, and 4.4S p. In. Rockville for Hartford-6.4S, 9.03, Il. .5S a. m,,
 4.43, 7.23 D. m. Hartford for Rockville-7 43 sos, 8. m.
 12.56, 4.43, 7,13 pm. WILLIMANTIC AND PROVIDENCE. Willimantic for Providence-102 23 a.m., 4.23 D. m. Providence for Wilmantc-6.4S a. m, 4.23 D. m.
 S. M. HILTON JR., Gen. Manager.
 A. c. KENDALL, Gen. Pass. Agt.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

A Coop FRIEND TO THE CHINEsE.-San Francisco. Consul A. F. Bee, of the Chinese Consulate Office, expresses himself clearly in saying that he, as well as his family have suf- fered severely from rheumatism and neural gia, and that medicines were used in vain. At last St. Jacobs Oil was tried, which effect ed immediate cures in every case. The Con- sul regards the Oil as the greatest pain curing remedy in existence
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

*It is impossible to disguise the fact that the Vegetable Compound, prepared under the personal direction of Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham, with the superior science and art of modern pharmacy, is the most successful medicine for female debility, and diseases hitherto known.
 The best time to offer your hand to lady When she is getting out of an omnibus. GWEN I publicly testified that had been cured of terrible skin humor by Cuticura Rsmedies,I did so that others might be cured, and do not regret the time given to answer ing inquiries. "-Hom. William Taylor, Boston
 A City of Refuge.-When you have any in- ternal Pain or Ache; when you have Cough, Cold, or any Bronchial trouble whatever; when you are suffering from Rheumatism; when you are troubled with Sour Stomach Indigestion, or any affection of the vital organs, fly to KEYNES PAIN KILLING MAGIC OIL as to a city of Refuge: No other medicine that has ever been discovered is possessed of such healing such miraculous powers. This preparation is as harmless as new milk, and as pure and aromatic as rose water. It is sold by all druggists and country merchants.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

The newest parlor game at Laramie, Wyoming Territory, where woman sui frage has been established, was invented by the ladies of that region. The girls sit in one room in row, with a chair in front of each one. The young men are stationed in another room and are brought in one by one. When he comes in the youth chooses his chair and the young la- dy behind him blinds his eyes with a handkerchief. Then the black cook comes in, kisses him, and disappears. The young man is released, feeling much refreshed and elated, and promptly retires to the other end of the room. His feelings when the next young man comes in and is treat ed to this novel entertainment can be inn agined, but they are mitigated by the pleasure of seeing the other fellows un- dsrgoing the experiment. As winter evenings amusement it is one of the most popular in Wyoming.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

Eag-The Diamond Dyes always do more than they claim to do. Color over that old dresss It will look like new. Only 10 cents.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

Give us cheaper postage. We hate tc spend three cents dunning man when we are morally certain we won't realize cent on he investment.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

"Wheat Bitters." A powerful invigorato, in cases of weakness and debility, and is un. equalled in Female Complaints. Price $1.O per bottle. |
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

''Whistlers are always good natured, says a philosopher. Everybody knew that. Its the folks that have to listen to the whistline that get ugly,
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

CATARRH Relief in five minutes in every case gratifying, wholesome relief beyond money value. Cure begins from first appl. cation, and is rapid, radical and permanent. Ask for Sanford's Radical Cure. Complete for $1.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

Of ell the frauds that men abhor And oft in vain the fact deplore,
 Besides attempt to hide ease, There's nothing that they hate much more And wish them on the other shore
 Than plllowshams and tidies. These relics of bygone age Do often cause reckless rage
 And terror most majestic; As whited sepulchres they seem, Or like the horror of dream
 These shams of bliss domestic.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

Medical Times The peculiar action or the kidneys and urinary organs of asparagus is frequently noticed during the seasoD. Prof. Benson recently proved in the case oi the Emperor William and others that in com bination with malt and quinine it is an abso' lute specific for diseases of the liver, kidneys and urinary organs. His method has beer adopted by the Malt Bitters Company, and this great German food is now composed ot malt, hops, quinine bark and asparagus.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

Are you ill? Dr. Russell prescribed Wheat Bitters for me and never felt better. Try it at once.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

An exchange speaks of certain railroad as being of the feminine gender because all her trains are behind.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

*** "Middle measures are often but middl- ing measures" There are no ''middlings'
 about Kidney Wort. It is the most thorough Iy refined ''flower" medicine. It knows no
 halfway measures, but radically uproots all
 diseases of the kidneys, liver and bowels. It overthrows piles, abolishes constipation and
 treats the system so gently and soothingly as
 to prove its true kinship to nature in all its
 praises. It is prepared in both liquid and dry form
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

Among our best blessings is Potaska, the incomparable cure for all throat affections, sudden colds, diphtheria, etc.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

UGLY AND HATEFUL, but couldn't help it
 Everything went wrong with me, and tho hadn't a friend in the world. Dyspepsi,
 caused thls and for months couldn't eat any
 thing and just suffered in misery till I uses Sulphur Bit prs. Three bottles cured me.--D Letois 22 Botcdoiss. st. Boston,
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

''Dear MT. Jones" said learned woman, you remind me of barometer that is filed with nothing in the upper story" Divine upper story"
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

It seems little paradoxical to say that the man whose life is insured must die to recover, | but it is nevertheless true.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

GOLDEN MEDICAL DISCOVERY" for all scrofuIous and virulent Blood poisons is spe cifc. By druggists.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18
FOR SALE.

The ZENAS ID. WASHRURN FARM. located in the north part of Stafford, containing 100 acres pasture, moving, tillage and woodland well watered and with good buildings.
 The Capt. ETH WASHBURN Farm of 15O adjoining the above, and alike supplied with suitable buildings, and with land for tilage moving and pasturing, also woodland.
 The HILL PASTUR E, located near sai6 farms sa acres of pasture and woodland. ately, as desired. Enquire of E. N. WASHBURN,
 Stafford Springs, Oct. 27,lSs1. Administrator
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

The best time to offer your hand to lady When she is getting out of an omnibus.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.

------------f
 VIM. A. KING, Attorney and Coun- w sellor at Law. Room NO: 6, Rockwelrs Block. Y B. RICHARDS, M. D.. Office 1Ls at residence, ,.corner High-st. and Fisk-ave. IT SMITH, Dentist, Warrens Block. l1s Best work at usual prices. Chloroform, Gas and Ether administered for painless extraction of teeth F W. BROOKS, Oak, Chestnut, Hem He lock and Pine Lumber, sawed to order. Shin gles for sale. Mill three miles from the Springs
 E N. CRANE, Manufacturer of and II sdealer in Harnesses, Robes, Bells, Fancy Lap Robes, Whips Trunks. Fancy Nets, etc. W. CHANDLEEss, Insurance and C Real Estate Agency, Stafford Springs, with Wm. Smith & Co.,, Notary Public.
 c c. EATON, Attorax7 and Counselor D. at Law staffordsprings oMce in Eaton's Block.
 T PUFFER, Custom Boot and Shoe He Maker and Repairer. The best of workmen and the best of stock. Central Hall Block, Stafford Springs. -
 MIMI. A. GOWNS, Horse and Ox
 w Shoeing, Machine Forgiags and Repairing done order Also builder and repairer of all styles of Wagons. South-st, Stafford springs:
 ~ H. HOBBY, Piano Tuner and Deal Os CT in Pianos and Organs. Residence, East Main-st., Stafford Springs.
 A GENCY of Holland CSunty Mutu- A al Fire KMs. Co. at J~N. CHANDLER'S office, with Wm. Smith & Co.,, Stafford Springs.
Tolland County press., 1883-01-18

The Rockville National Bank has chosen Chauncey Winchell, Geo. Maxwell Isaac Chester, M. w. Pember, Ansel Ar mold, J. N. Stickney, D. H. Kimball Frank Grant and B. O. Chapman direct ors Chauncey Winchell, president Geo Maxwell, vice-president B. 0. Chapman cashier The First National Bank o Rockville elects Geo. Talcott, F. l.. Dick inson, Wm. Butler, B. s. Henry, G. M Paulk, w. H. Prescott and H. Gardner Talcott, directors Geo. Talcott, presi dent F. l.. Dickinson, vice-president J. HI. Kite, cashier.
The Evening critic., 1883-06-26

arbitrary action of an Executive and Sem
ate, wherein tho ruled are In no
degree represented. 1t is an insult to the
people of Washington to deny them the
right of electing their own municipal Off
GERS, so long as every other city in the
United States Is secured in that right. 1t
is an UNJUST and offensive distinction which
must be promptly removed, unless the Con-
gress of the United States is ready to sane
tion and continue grievous wrong, which
we cannot believe it will do much longer.
The people of this city have right to
complain of the treatment they have re-
ceived ut the hands of the appointing
power in the appointment of successor of
Mr.. Tullock as Postmaster. While we
have nothing to say against the personal
qualifications and fitness of the appointee,
we do say that Colonel Parker was not
eligible at the time of his appointment
under the statutes, which declares that
Postmaster Of this class must reside within
the limits Of the delivery of his
office, for the reason that he is
citizen of the State of New York, and as
his family resides in that State, and he
votes there, and did not at the time of his
appointment reside in this city. 1t is Gus
tomary in such cases to consult the wishes
of the people interested in regard to se-
lection of Postmaster, but in this case tho
popular wish was forestalled, and the ap-
pointment was made with indecent haste,
and before the preferences of this people
could possibly be consulted.
This is the spirit in which the people of
the city of Washington are ruled at pres
ent, and they will continue so to be ruled,
until they emphatically declare for self
government. No other city in the United
States is subjected to such indignities as
are heaped upon the people of the District
of Columbia, and, under tho circumstances,
they would be justified by the sentiment of
the country if they should suspend
the payment of taxes until the
rights of suffrage, representation in Con-
gross and self-government shall be restored
to them. We would not counsel such
action until every other effort to secure re-
dress had failed, bat the time may come
when we shall feel called upon to admonish
the people to resist taxation until repre-
sentation is secured, and the fundamental
principles of republican form of govern
ment are respected by our rulers.
The Evening critic., 1883-06-26
The Duty OF the Period.

1t is the last feather that breaks the
back Of the camel Human patience will
endure much and long, but the time can be
reached when it ceases to be virtue. It
was SO with the British colonists in Ameri-
ca more than century ago. They stood
the affronts and expressions of the mother
country until they were pressed upon them
to point beyond endurance, aud they de-
clared their independence from the rule of
the crown Of England. There is some
analogy between the present condition
of the people of the District
Of Columbia and that of our
forefathers in the days of English op-
preston of its American colonists. we
are deprived of the right of suffrage and of
self-government by our own rulers
under q pretended republican form of gov
erpment, which among its fundamental
principles declares that there shall be no
taxation without representation. 1t is not
that we propose or counsel armed revolu-
tion to secure our rights, but THE CRITIC,
with the best abilities at its command,
does propose to agitate this question of
suffrage and elf-government until Con-
gress shall repeal existing laws aud bestow
upon this people the right to vote for
their own local rulers and to be represent
ed in Congress.
1t is an outrage upon this people to dis
franchise them and allow them no voice in
making the laws which they are called
npon to obey, and to impose taxation upon
them without recognition of the right of
representation. 1t is an offense against an
intelligent population of nearly 100000
souls to rule them by commission, ap-
pointed without the slightest regard and
respect for the popular wish through the
The Evening critic., 1883-06-26
SPECIAL NOTICES.
pSse PROMPT PAYMENT.
pSH NOTICE TO wATBR.TAKHRs,

OFFICE OF THE ENGINEER COMMISSIONER
DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA.
Water.tnkers are hereby notified that water
rents VIII be due on July 1889 and that the law re-
quires payment within thirty days from that
date, falling which, the water must be cut of
before the flow can be restored,
, Particular attention is invited to the fact that
the law is mandatory and admits OF no discretion.
q. ]. LYDECKER,
,.., Major Of Engineers, u. 8. A.,
ld2ltd Engineer Commissioner, ID. @.
The Evening critic., 1883-06-26

THE state of affairs existing in the De-
partment of Justice as depicted by Senator
Voorhees, yesterday, in his speech in court
against continuing Hallet Kilbourn's case,
is an outrage at once on the people who
pay the taxes that keep the Government
alive and those private citizens who are so
unfortunate as to have business be-
fore court where the opposite side is
represented by the Department of Justice.
With an Attorney General and seventeen
Assistants, District-Attorney and two As
sistants in this District, that Department
still had to beg for a continuance of the
Kilbourn case. These officials absorb sala-
ries reaching $4,000 year, and yet the
Department of Justice is compelled to go
outside of these twenty-one legal lights to
find lawyers competent to try case as
simple as the Kilbourn one has been made
by the decisions of the higher courts. As
the eloquent Senator said, the people are
weary of it
The Evening critic., 1883-06-26

A PRETTY instance of the brotherly love
which exists between men in the same
trade is seen in the following: A. G. Hesing,
German editor and sometime "Boss" of
Chicago, was caught in the whisky frauds
and the Government recovered a judgment
against him for $4,000. 1t can't be col
lected of course, any more than the one
against Tom Ochiltree, and, like the warm
haired Southron, Boss Hesing proposed
nominal compromise of $2,250. Before
it could be accepted one Michaelis. rival
German editor, offered the Secretary OF the
Treasury $4,000 for the judgment. This
offer will probably be accepted unless
Hesing raises Michaelis out.
The Evening critic., 1883-06-26
RasebaIl.

Baseball games were played yesterday as
follows.
. AT Proyidence.Proyidence, ~; New YORK,
ton-BostOn, 10; Philadelphia, z. At Cincin-
nati-Allegheny, 2; Cincinnati, 1. At Louis
ue-Metropolitan, @; Eclipse, /. At st.
Louis-st. Louis, A; Baltimore, 2. At Read
ing, Pa.-Active, z; Merritt, 20; eight innings.
AZ Pottsyille, Pa:-Anthracite, 8; Trenton, 8. AT
columbus-Athletlc, 81 Columbus, 2. The
ming ON account of rain.