Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-05-01
PTTH AND POINT.

THERE is one great composer left
morphine.
KrSD words are like bald heads; the,
can never dye.
A MOBILE merchant objects to being
called q millionaire because his name
-appens to be Damrich.
THERE are people malicious enough
TO say that the rest which Jay Gould
! wants is the rest Of the railroads.
LIFE has no charms for the poor
clerk whose salary is mortgaged. three
months ahead to pay for his wife's fur
lined circular.
a CHICAGO doctor advertises: "Don'f
mistake dropsy for consumption, "
That's right. This constant mistaking
delirium tremens for malaria is bad
enough.
SMITH says that the man who gets
reputation for eccsntricity will not be
expected to return borrowed money.
Won't, Ell? Then where does the &C.
centricity come in?
ORPHEUs, when he played, made the
rocks come up, and his power seems to
have descended to 8 great many popular
singers. You have to come up with tina
rocks If you want to hear them.
WIeEINIsT REMENYI defines genius as
the power man has to kindle his own
fire" 1t is on cold winter morning
that a married man is most willing to
acknowledge his lack of genius.
HUSBAND @ a. m, after a curtain
lecturer: well, all I have to say is,
Il you are person OF such refinement
and good breeding, you ought to be
above talking to drunken fellow ut
this time of the night"
The Lancet says that women often
wear a weight OF clothes such as few
men would care to carry. This is sheer
nonsense. There are plenty of men
who would carry the clothes, with the
woman inside of them.
THERE are some persons who cannot
take q joke, but Fogg is not one of
them One of the boys, acquainted
with Fogg's frequent change of abode,
asked him which he thought was the
cheaper-to move or pay rent. 81 can't
tell you, my dear boy" replied Fogg;
81 have always moved"
CONVERSATION between two Austin
journalists: Haven't seen you for
the last day or so. Have you been in
disposed 2" mo, it is my washwoman
who is indisposed." "Is she very sick 2"
"She is not sick at all. She is indis-
posed to bring back my shirt. "-Tecas
Siifti9ogs.
COLUMBIA College will not undertake
to graduate women, because the instiSu-
ton cannot bear the expense. II cannot
bear children" said Miss Prim to Mis-.
tress Darlington. Maybe if you could, .
replied the dame, 'you would like them
better" The college is troubled very
much after the manner of Miss Prim.-
Philadelphia Record.
ToTo is crying very hard. "What is
the matter?" asked one of her fathers
friends. Il have lost cents that mann
ma gave me-" "That's not difficult
loss to repair" replied the friend; "here
are cents" An instant afterwarG
Toto was crying. harder than ever
"What are you still crying for?" asked
the gentleman. 81 am crying" saiG
the artful baby, because if I had moi
lost 2 cents I should now have T."
AN aesthetic has been delivering HIM
self of an eloquent TRADE against the
invasion of the sacred domain of art by
the meaner herd of tradespeople and
miscellaneous nobodies, and finally,
rising to an Alpine height of scorn, ex.
claims aye, allof you here are Phil
istines-mere Philistines!" eyes, !"
says an old gentleman softly, eve are
Philistines, and / suppose that is the
reason we are being assaulted with the
jawbone of an ass"
ADOLPHUS' MISHAP.
Adolphus wore his breeches tight;
OF this he did not think
When he put on the roller-skates
To show off at the rink.
His first adventure was his last
He'll put on skates no more;
H tried to kick the roof all in,
And sat down on the floor
When Dolphy dropped, the girls a ! laughed
1t was an awful fall
And, when they had their backs all turned
He backed up to the wall.
He called a friend, took Off the skates,
And, giving him the wink,
Said, Jim, lend me that long-tailed coat
want to leave the rink.
-LOujSUiLLe uTiet-JOuTnGL.
AN Austin family recently purchased
COW. heretofore the family has got
the milk for their coffee from the milk
man, and little Johnny, like many other
people, had no very well-defned idea
how the milzman got the milk. The
COW happened to be q white one, and
after Johnny had watched the milking
process for some time he remarked,
moditatively: PA, you get milk from
the white COW. but where is the black
cow" What do we want black COW
for Iohnny2n 90 Snueaza the cofrec