The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1883-08-21
A NHoRT.sIsmfED DEsPERADO.
His Fathers Ghost In Ramiet-wbai
Broke Up the Dane.

His Fathers Ghost In Ramiet-wbat
Broke Up the Dane
zssas SVrins'.
ayes, your humble servant Bud and
were rivals for the hand OF Miss Birdie
swipes, the belle Of Arkadelphia. Bud bad
the inside track OF me and saw that l had
to resort to strategy. Everything is fair in
love and war, you know. There was an
amateur theatrical performance, in which
Bud was to play Hamlet He expected to
make profound impression on Miss Biz
die in particular. A young man, friend
OF mine, was to represent Hamlets father.
The Young man was poor. but he was am
bilious to study for the ministry; he didn't
have the money; Ihad money; but what was
money To me while Miss Birdie smiled on
Bud Henby2 took the Ghost OF Ham!ets
father aside. / told him il he, without
saving anything, were to fail to go on the
stage In the ghost scene, would give him
a check for 500. He vas to go in his
dressing room, which opened on the stage,
but was subsequently TO disappear through
side window. He was puzzled, but when
he saw the check he accepted the offer.
After Hamlet's father had left the dressing
room smuggled large Kentucky jack
into 1t. The melancholy Dane was already
on the stage, and, in the most tragic man
ner, was going on about his father. Being
short sighted, he did not perceive the sin:
enlar appearance OF the ghost oil his alleged
pare 1t. ,,
.'ruou art my fathers ghost said Bud,
in q deep thrilling voice.
"Just at that moment I pushed the don
kew on the stage, and prodded him in the
relr. He trotted on to the stage, and, aitei
casting an afiectionate look at Hamlet be
broke out with a prolonged brap. Thii
was more than the audience could stand
,rhey roared and cheered by turns. Miss
Birdie nearly went into Mysteries.
swell 1t leaked out that l was the guilty
party. Before o'clock the next morning
Bind had shot an alderman and crippled a
doctor who looked like me. As Buds
family was very influential, oil course, he
was let out on bail. He does nothing but
20 about hunting for me, and the mistakes
he has made in taking other people for me
has filled many grave AS for Miss Birdie,
she was seized with uncomfortable laughter
whenever she saw him, and inquired about
his fathers health. went TO Texas, start
ed a ranch, and, having amassed money,
am coming back to Arkadelphia: ex-
pect to have a fight with Bud, OF course,
but as l am not shortBighted, and have
learned to shoot in Texas, ] think III get
away with him and marry Miss Birdie, who
has admired me ever since l played that
trick on Bud"
"Arkadelphia!" shouted the conductor.
The man from Texas adjusted his pistol,
and was about to leave his seat, when the
attention OF everybody on the car was at
tracted to tumult near the depot. An
enthusiastic mob was hanging nan. =,
"By heavens! they are hanging Bud u
said the man from Texas.
And so they were. Bud, hearing that
his enemy was expected back that day,
had been on the qui vive. He had also been
on drunk, and had shot and killed the
most popular man in town, a bar-keeper,
who sold on credit, because he thought the
bar.keeper was the other man, which was
a very short-sighted thing for him to do,
and the enraged populace decided to stand
no more OF his nonsense.
Since the above was written, In glancing
over late copy Of the Arkadelphia Mirror,
we read the marriage notice Of the enemy
OF poor Bud and Miss Birdie Swipes,
| Ais we'll that ends well.