The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-08-25
THE KEvoLyING MULE.


the War Department by John Phoenix.
Baltimore American.
The last time l was in Washington" said
a veteran army officer to the American cor
respondent, those fellows upat the Navy
Department were in quite huff over an eff
fort looking to change in their uniforms,
and there was as great a commotion as the
one that existed during President Pierce's
administration, when they talked OF chang
ing the style of uniforms in the army That
event was attended by someSery amusing in
cidents. but the most Imaginable was the
part taken in it by the late Captain Derby.
or John Phoenix, as he was known IN jour
nalistic and literary circles. He was
lieutenant at the time and stationed
in California jeff Davis, who Was Sec
rotary of War, issued a general invitation to
officers OF the army who were skilful
draughtsmen to send in suggestions Tor tna
new uniform which it had been decided tn
adopt. One such invitation was sent to EACH
officer. Lieutenant Derby was very ready
with his, pen-a really ingenious artist. l.,
reply he sent to the War Department, not
exactly design for a new uniform, but u
peculiar addition to the old uniform, the
amendment consisting merely OF ring a.
taChed to the seat of the trousers of each pr
vate soldier. Each officer was to carry. i'll
stead of a sword, long pole with hook in
the end, like a shepherds crook. The pole
and the ring enabled officers to keep pr
Yates from running away in battle, Fu"i-
tives could be easily caught by it and
brought back; stragglers could be kept i'll
line. Moreover the ring would be very USE
full in the cavalry service to fasten soldiers 10
the saddle, to prevent them from falling off.
and in the artillery service the rings
were to be used for draught purposes
in the absence of mules. These specli-
cations were accompanied by the most
grotesque pictures, representing officers
hauling back cowardly recruits by the
serviceable ring, cavalry securely fastened 10
the tops of their steeds by the same device,
and artillerymen harnessed to cannon, draw
ing them up through narrow detiles or up an
activity inaccessible to mules On another
sheet of Bristol-board was an illustration, in
gaudy colors, of "Derby's Rotary Mule How
itzer," accompanied by a written inscription
to this effect: Upon the back of young
and vigilant mule strap mountain howlt-
ger the muzzle pointing toward the tail
similar piece of ordnance is fastened with iron
bands under the animals abdomen, the muZ-
zle aimed between his forelegs to the front.
There are four gunners-two to each piece
and a "persuader," as he is called. whose
business it is to persuade the mule to stand
firm and not retreat by stuffing him with
oats, after each discharge, with a tin sausage
stuffer. When Indians or other legitimate
game appear in view, the mule is,
by q crank movement on the tail,
brought to the front. 1t don't make
any difference which way the mule faces-and
here is where my patent comes in-oue
gun is always pointing towards the front.
At the cCmmand 'Firel' the top howitzer is
discharged. The recoil throws the mule on
his back, bringing the second gun into posi-
ton This is discharged, which suddenly
throws the mule on his feet again. when the
gunners swab out the mules throat with hay
and reload"
The illustrations which accompanied these
directions-in brown, red. blue and gold, are
still on file in the War Department-repre-
scented the rotary mule in seven different at
titudes, looking contented and happy all the
time. This was felt to be outrageous audacity
on the part of a subaltern. The clerks in the
War Department laughed at the funny letter
immoderately, but their superors looked
serious Jefferson Davis, the Secretary,
was terribly indignant, and he rev
solved to defend his wounded Dig
nifty. Charges and specifications were
drawn up against Lieutenant Derby and the
officers were actual named for his court
martial when William II Marcy, Secretary OF
State-a man of considerable sense and self
poise-said to the Secretary of War: Now,
see here, General Davis, don't you do it,
This Derby has undoubtedly a superfluors
development of humor, but he is shrewd
and ingenious and really a fine draughts-
man. He has valuable qualities You can
organize court that viii convict him, but
you will be the butt of ridicule on account
of it all your life. Better file the suggestions
of the k-and ring and the lively rotary
mule and say nothing" And he did it. Poor
Derby subsequently becams an inmate of an
insane asylum ana later died by suicide