National Republican., 1883-05-12

The New Orleans PiodWtne gives Mr.. Wat
tersons platform as poker for revenue only.
THE Comior-JouynaI notes as a curious fact
that the telephone was invented by married
man.
GEN. JOHN 8. MARMADUKE Is trying 10
raise $50, 600 in Missouri to improve the confeder-
ate cemetery in that state.
THE knee bone of saurian was seized by
mn Iowa City constable for debt. Nobody wanted
the progenitary part OF a skeleton.
ALTHOUGH Mr.. Vanderbilt retired rather
| precpitously, the Norrlstown Herald is inclined
to believe that his accounts are all straight
THERE is nothing mean about the Turkish
government 1t licenses lotteries on condition
that the government gets 10 per cont. of the
profits.
The Boston Herald has discovered that Mr..
Murch requires as much preparation for his in.
vestigauon as Mcclellan used to need for some of
his campaigns.
The Philadelphians propose to remove
William Penn's old house to Fairmount park.
Possibly they are hoping to get some taxes out of
| C0urierJOurndi.
Mr.. PULITZER wasn't afraid to take con.
troll Of the New York World ON Friday. IIe has
noticed that tho world goes round every day
alike.-Boston Herald.
The enterprising correspondents have dis
covered that ex.Commissioner Green b. Raum
has received retainers enough to insure him $780,
900 within the next six months.
A DELAWARE murderer was not arrested
until seven years nfer the perpetration OF his
crime. 1t is likely that at the start some skllfnl
detective was givon the case TO work up.
Now thon, Witness" said the cross.exam-
lining counsel sternly docs the preceding wit.
ness enjoy your entire confdence?" "Great
Scott, mol Why that's my wifc."--Sdn Frdncisco
Post
TINE sets all things evon," as the follow
ing little social incident goos to show: "Bat, my
dear friend, why did you not marry your husband
ten years ago2" "Ah, at that time he was too
old for me.
ON Fulton ferry boat this morning an
early bird said to an old gentleman "Did Won
ever see such foggy May on the East rlver?" o,
yes" replied the o. g., "last Noyember"- CONNER.
cidl Advertiser.
THE man who bought a German edition of
Shakespeare because he wanted the works of the
bard in 'tho original" belongs TO the same family
as the fellow who enjoyed the novels of the late
Peter Cooper
| JEFF DAVIS is said to be in delicate
health, and correspondent who recently visited
him In his Mississippi home was rejoced to dis.
cover that his heart issoftening toward the people
| OF the north at last.
DE VARENNEs: To see each other to pro-
fess to love each other to prove It, TO quarrel, to
hate. then TO separate that one may seek a now
love- this is the history of moment, and OF every
day in the comedy OF the world,
| ExAsPERATEp in the night by cats, a
Dubuque man went out OF bis back porch, swung
heavy club to let fly at them caught It In the
long tail Of his night shirt, knocked himself down
the steps and broke his arm"
MRS. DAVID DAVIS is disappointed in the
large trees Of California She says they are not
nearly SO enormous as she expected to find them
Mrs. Davis ought not to expect tree TO look large
when hcr husband is around.-Rochester Post. Er.
press.
COUNT Won MoLTKE received the news of
his sisters death while his way to attend his
nephew's wedding. Curiously enough, six years
years ago he got word Of his brothers death Just as
he was starting TO attend the wedding Of another
nephew.
THE borers of an artesian we'll in San Ber-
| nardino, CAL, have encountered at the depth of
$50 feet a tree which stands perpendicularly.
Pieces Of the wood, which appears to be sycamore,
are brought up In the pipes. Trees take root very
deep in Colorado.
A MAN on New York ferry boat astonished
all OF the other passengers out Of their seven
senses. He was one Of those nearest tho bridge,
and he waited quietly until tho boat had touched
and then walked calmly away as II he was not in
the least bit Of hurry.
Mr. MINK testified, in n Racine court that
he regarded Miss Albrecht as slightly bad TEN.
pered. She Immediately cried out that he was
liar, and threw herself upon him. pulling his
whiskers an scratching his face. Mr. Mink has
cautiously resolved never to commit perjury
again.
NEWS comes from Egypt that Col. Hicks
has met aud defeated the False Prophet of Sou
dan and killed 500 out Of 5000 OF the enemy II
this dispatch is constructed on the same plan used
in the late Egyptian war, Col. Hicks really ran
across about thirty Arabans and bursted ono Of
them in tho nose.
The success Of Mrs. Burne it's "Through
One Administration" has been so great that the
publishers have three times found 1t necessary TO
increase their original large edition of the work.
and they are again compelled TO postpone publ.
cation TO satisfy their orders. They have now
the fourth and fifth editions In press
GEORGE AUGUSTUS SALA, who was edu.
Gated at public school IN France recalls his ex.
perience of forty three years ago without enthusi-
asm; "There was too little recreation; the boys
They scarcely knew how to play when was IL
did not know how to drive hoop. The food was
poor, The hours were too long. The inspectors
were bullies, and the subushers spies, and there
was little sympathy between the masters and their
scholars.
THE Philadelphia Neius explains the diner
ence between q newspaper man" and a "jour.
nalist," 1t says: "a newspaper man Is one
who has been writing editorials for eighteen or
twenty years. A Journalist is one who began
police reporting about week ago" The greatest
OF all journalists are the vealy young men who do
"glory work" in remote suburbs, and industr-
ously cultivate the church ice.cream festival
field. They are incomparably superior to any
other known grade of journalists.
New York World: The editor Of the Lon
don Sportsman, who visited this country, seems to
have accommodated himself TO the ways of the
republic with remarkable sweetness and content,
as the following extract from an interview with
him on his return to London demonstrates; " Did
you mako many speeches when you were In
American they asked him. "Yea," was the reply.
81 was frequently called upon TO respond"
=" And what did you say for the most part2"
THANK you, don't mind II do"
1T happened at Blankyille. They had
plumbers working in the house, and the small
boy OF years was much interested in the pro-
eeedings. "oan you spell onionP" asked one of
the workmen, seeing that the child was of more
than common brightness. OF course. o-n.i-o-n,"
came promptly "Very good indeed guess
that's more than the Blankville storekeepers can
do" "Do you think, " responded the child, look.
Ing quizzioally at the man, that the Blankyille
.k.ua