The daily gazette., 1883-07-11
BITS OF FUN.

Talk of mesmeriztrs putting people asleep
We know somr preachers who can put more
people asleep than any professional mesmer-
izer, vet their mesmeric powers go uncredted
as such-Neupor hy.) Journal.
medical journal tells about young
man in Vermont whose brains have dried up
until they rattle like shot in gourd every
time he shakes his head. He is probably
the author of the Vermont liquor law
Boston Post.
ssilence in the court room there" thun-
dered police magistrate In Dallas, Texas,
the other morning. eth Court has already
committed four perbons without being able
to hear word OF the testimony. ."-Denpef
Tribune.
The man who sees nothing but the news
paper he is reading WHEN lady wants his
seat Ia a ear is man who would be SO busy
with his prayer-bonk as TO blk the contrihu-
| ton box when it passes by in church.-Nem
| Orleans Picdy,tue.
John Hay received more by the death OF
| one father in-law ih two minutes than he
had made in twenty years as poet. We
| don't say anything against poets, but there 5
a great and solemn warning hidden away In
this case.-Detroa Free Press.
II New York could afford foundation
for the Barthold statue, she would stand
with Liberty in her harbor, which is filling
up, and WI leone for every assisted emf
grant" comi6g from the almshouses OF the
Old World. -Ihilddelphid AeirS.
A subscrption-book publisher says that
out of 900 book agents he usually finds
about 10 who are worth retaining after a
months tritl. wv suppose that the other
800 become too much crippled up to keep
on working Philadelphia Neacs.
Before the city directory man takes a
census Of St Louis watermelons are always
sept there from Chicago to double up the
population. After that an official count il
made, showing low unreliable st. Louis
figures are.-Nem Orleans PicdyuHe.
Milwaukee reports rare instance of fra
terual affection. Young man there 90
, his brother under the influence of drugs ant
, then eloped with his wife Such tende
solicitude in bearing another's burdens i
seldom eyinced in this selfish world Bur
! lington Free Prcst
( When Newark preacher wants money h
5 | Dawns his gold watch, and then ON the FOL
lowing Sunday breaches a sermon fou
hours long becalae he has no tmepieee tt
go by. The next morning the congregation
gets his watch out of pawn and sends it t
D him BaltiUaore Day.
J We find the ollpwing item in an exchange
t and it occurs to Ms that the subject thereo
: would make gpou silent partner Tor al
undertaking establishment "a youn
Il woman, Is years pf age who lives in Lapeer
I MIMI, has been thrice married and thrice
II widow. Chicago Neps.
e 1t has got so now that the undertaken
t known only as the "funeral Director an
will not recognize his old name If he meei
:, it in the road The undertaken will beeom
so high-ton after a while til t the publ
Is will lose all regard for his feelings and ca
ry him rotessor,- Teas sJtinas.
sh A New York regiment in camp at Peck
oI kill threatened to revolt II they were n
.,s furnished with napkins. We cai not co
70 ceive OF more drilling a d striking pi
ne tue of the "hartors of war" than a soldi
us without napkin unless it be a corpor
To with doilar-store scarf pin.-Norristoa
AZ Herald
or Mrs. Mackey denies the rumor that
:, daughter is engaged to Prince, and say
W. II mean to give my daughter to an hont
man." The lucky editor. whoever he m
be, has our congratulations. Also our syI
NJ patny, for Mrs. NJ. says her daughter W
r. n 1t receive a penny of dowry on her ms
- riage NdshUiHa World
:. In Back Bay (Boston) horse car t
+ other day, as tile conductor approached
Ut Young passenger, the little fellow was Sc
is to turn first pale and then red, and VIII
the off .ial held out his hand for the fl
the Young sufferer gasped out "Will y
&c, please charge this to my father, Mr.. A. l.
- I've swallowed my moneyW-BoStoa Cc
10 rier.