Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-12-18
BRIGHT BITS.

EVERY cloud has its silver lining. The boy
who has the mumps can stay away from
school.
ALL the signs point to a mild winter except
one. That is on coal yard. and says: Goal
IS IS a ton.'-PhiladelpAid cal. Q
rs THE mail distributed yet, Johnnyl.N
Nom: the old man hain't got through read
ing the postal cards yet. The Judge'
IL Mexico women are not allowed to at
tend funerals. They are. however, magnah-
mously accorded the privilege OF being pres
ent at all weddings.
PRESIDENT GREvY has opened the door for
the triumphal entry of American pork INTO
France. Yankee pig is well served by French
Grevy.-FittSbUrg Telegraph.
IT is said that at learning to swim women
are quicker than men. rms Is proDaDIy pc
cause the custom OF wearing trains mas learheu
them to kick out gracefully.
THE man who invented the horrible scream
ing and crying steam whistles should here
after be tied to one that Will be eternally
turned on.-Neao Orleans PicdyUae.
TRUE hearts are more than coronets,"
wrote the new Baron Tennyson years ago.
Now the old man has soured on true hearts,
and wants taste of the cOronets.
so. INDUSTRIOUS. dead, Improbable world
wrote Matthew Arnold years ago, before he
made $1,000 in Boston reading his old maya
zine articles as lectures.-Hartford Post.
MANY hotel servants are now complaining
of the wretched quality of food given to them.
We don't blame them one bit. if they have to
live on the same stuff that is served to the
guests.-LOaoeU Citizen.
TT RATHER ANNoYs the woman holding a
pug dog in her lap IN the street car to hear a
learned looking gentleman remark 10 a lrlend:
DO you know the female ourang -Outang al
the museum has formed an attachment for q
small dog, and fondles it constantly
ssWHAr a small man Modjeska's husband
/ is" remarked lady at d dinner table. ION.
| yes; she looks quite MODESTO by the slde OF
him." was the reply. "Aw," put in an OLD
| bachelor, tive don't want any ModJestlng on
| such a subject. "-MerchdHt TrG5etler.
| AN Albany man last week went to the trou-
| BILE of hanging himself with fish line, wheI
| a meddling policeman discovered him and cut
| him down before he was dead. 1t does seen
as though the police are boupd 70 iRter it
| with the rights of people and head on acts o.
| good to a communicated Sun.
! PLANTATION PHILOSOPHY: Fear amt baseC
| on judgment. 4 hog Will run quicker from {
! brickbat den he will from gun. rs spicion;
| oh de man what is always claimin' ter b.
| wOrkin' in de intrust OBJ adder folks, case he
| forces me ter one oh two conclusions, dat hi
is eder a fool or liar.-Arkansaao 1raoeteT.
"CAN YOU TELL ME what kind of weather
! we NAV expect next month"; wrote farmer
! to the editor of his country paper, ana th'
| editor replied as follows: sit is my belief tina
! the weather next month will be very IKE youl
| subscription BILL" The farmer wondered fol
/ an hour what the editor was driving at, wheI
he happened to think of the word unsettled. :
| He sent a postal note.-Aiddtetoaon Transcript
| THE DONKEY's DREAM
| A donkey lay him down to sleep,
| And as he slept and snored full deep,
| He was observed strange slightly to weep,
AS if in anguished mood.
! A gentle mule that lay near by
/ The donkey reused, and, with a sigh
| And kindly voice, inquired why
Those tears he did exude.
| The donkey, while he trembled DER
| And dropped cold sweat from every pore,
! Made answer in a fearful roar,
81 dreamed l was a dude ~
PUCK,