The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-10-26
He Mantea to Know.

\
A well-known fellow-citizen nov
prowling-not 10 say growing
through Europe writes US the following
touching experience:
had been for about half an hour
be says, g sitting on the deck of one ii
the miserable Little packets that ply
between Dover and Calais, and exasper.
ating my fellow-passengers by refusing
TO join in the carnival Of sea-sickness
going on around me, when ruddy.
faced. white-wh,skered, blutf-lookine
individual who had been cycling me fol
some time stepped up and said:
"Beg pardon, I'm sure; but you are
really the Amer;canp" rt4.l
"sThe Americana replied; SIS there
are several, l believe
"'Oh, of course, to be sure. mean
the one on board. | saw George b.
Blank, San Francisco, California. U.
and picked you out right away as the
owner, and the stranger inspected me
from head to foot with as vivid curl
osity as if I'd been a ~ild man of the
woods
".wen,' finally exclaimed, L am
an American. What can do for you?'
"Why-er-nothing-that is-no Of
Tense, ! hope, and you are a Califor-
nian, too?' he said, rubbing his hands
as though he had indeed met a rsra
avis. Ever scalped by the Indians,
eh?'
".I think not replied.
"'You've scalped some of them,
though, haven't yOu| persisted my in
quisitor.
Concluding that inasmuch as 1 was
in for being made side-show of might
as well indulge in some of the circus
poster sort of thing, looked my ques-
toner calmly in the eyes and replied:
Some twenty-six or seven, | forget
which; have the tally nicked in the
handle of my other scalping- knife; i
carry only one bowie in this country. So
seldom one runs across any fun here,
you know?'
Killed many white men" asked
the stranger, who appeared to be act
ually quivering with excitement and
curiosity.
Only eight or ten,' l replied, care
lessly. You see, in California there is
sort of close season now for shooting
white men. 'Tain't like the good old
man-for-breakfast times. A fellow is
only allowed to gun around promiscu-
,us like four months in the year. So
it's hard work to keep ones hand in,
don't you Sec?
:" We'll, declaren said the apparent
ly stupefied man with the chop whisk-
srs; 'how about Chinamen?'
oh! we kill Cinnamon all the year
round, when they're fat l explained.
But, then, there is lately some sort of
an ordinance making it a misdemeanor
20 shoot pigtail unless he is on the
shady side of the street, or gets in your
way. Folks are getting too particular
over there, for fact
I" is it really true that all Americans
wear chest protectors and eat nothing
but pie?'
"Well. you see, the fact is that
Americans are, as YOU know, such 4
trightfully busy people that they
haven't time to sit down and eat =
square meal, like you English They
must have something portable-some-
thing they can carry about with them
and nibble on the sly. tell you, sir, it
looks like business when you see forty or
fifty men all hanging on to the straps
Of street car with one hand and eating
with the other ns1
"'I should rather think so.' MUIR
INJURED the stranger.
SEAS for the chest protectors con-
tinued, they are really nothing more
than pockets suspended around the
neck, and large enough to carry a
whole pie, which it keeps warm at the
same time. A good hot mince pie
slowed away in this manner not only
imparts a gentle and grateful warmth
to the entire system, but keeps whole
days rations always within reach of the
wearer. Grand idea, isn't it?'
"Well, I'm blessedr said my fairly
paralyzed interrogation. gazing at my
child-like and ingenious face with pro-
found awe. would you
oblige me with one of your cards. he
said, i want to show it to my family,
or they'll never believe word of this
never. Thanks-here's mine, and,
as we had landed, he walked up the
gang-plank and was swallowed up by
the mob of insane French cabmen.
"As stepped chuckling into my
own compartment glanced at the card
of the stranger. 1t read: Julius X. judi
kins, San Francisco, CAL
81 have spent about eight hours day
looking for that man ever since. There
will be bleodshed out of this yet-mark