Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-11-19
The Last of the Praphets.

Ne,o York Sun.
l found the Chief Signal Officer in his
laboratory, exhausted by the hard work
Of the day. His majestic person was
somewhat flaccidly disposed in a great
easy chair. His feet rested on top of a
barrel. which was covered with a copy of
Hayden's expensive Atlas of Colorado.
In the lap of the Chief Signal Officer
curled big black cat, which
purred as he listlessly strOked its
back. and showed its teeth when he
happened to stroke the fur the wrong
way. On the Chief Signal Officers left
shoulder was perched a Plymouth Rock
rooster. Several hens of various breeds
were scratching the floor under the table,
in the futile endeavOr to extract nutri-
ment from an oiI-clOth carpet.
The Chief Signal Officer mOtiOned me to
a chair and hurled volume of his an
nual report for 1882 at a noisy duck which
was screaming in one corner of the room.
General / began, sis it true
He interrupted me with peremptory
gesture. "Hushr' he said. | became
silent. Through the closed window the
stentorian voice of an able-bOdied donkey
was distinctly audible. The donkey brayed
four times. each time louder than before.
The Chief Signal Officer Tuubled the cat
out of his lap, made few hurried notes
in a memorandum book, and then turned
TO me again.
General" said l, 'Ewill you permit me
10 ask il the statement that YOU have"
Just then the rooster on the left shoulder
of the Chief Signal Officer began to flap
his wings and crow. The Chief Signal
Officer touched a hand bell. 'Send Dun
woody here at once" he said to the child
of Africa who answered the summons.
Now, SIT: [ am at your service" he re-
marked to me.
General" 1 began once more, sit is
currently reported that you have"
paused, for the hair on the top of my
head was at this instant firmly clutched
from above, and held in tenacious and
constantly Tightening grip, l started M
in amaZement. "Sit still! sit stIll.'
shouted the Chief Signal Officer. sit is
only one of my bats-the Lower Missis-
! sippi Valley bat, think. Don't move a
muscle till we see what the Lower MisSiS-
sippi Valley bat is going to do"
l sat patiently in the interests of sci
ence tor at least five minutes. Then the
unpleasant bird, beast, or reptile slowly
relaxed his hold upon my hair and flew
away with a dismal whirr. The Chief
I Signal Officer rang his bell again,
/ scrawIed a few words on a telegraph
/ blank and handed it to the messenger.
/ well, sir, now what can L do for you?'
General" l said. ''yOu can tell me if
| YOU please whether the public may credit
the report that you nave"
'1Ah! here is DunwOOdy~ at last" eX-
/ claimed the Chief Signal Officer, the
| anxious expression of his cOuntenance
/ giving place to a look Of relief. "Dun-
/ woody, the black cat has mewed thrice in
/ three minutes
You don't say so, SIR remarked the
new conner, respectfully.
"Copernicus is Growing rather hOarsely
/ this evening"
OF a1sfts oil, ut ~
| Plymouth Rock rooster. THAT is bad
| prOgnOstic, he observed.
And think. all things considered, we
had better weigh HOwgate.'
/ DunwOOdy Immediately approached the
! barrel on which the Chief Signal Officers
| feet had been resting, and removed the
/ cover. Both the Lieutenant and the Chief
! peered in long and intently. Then Dun
| woody took from a hook on the wall a
small landing net, with which he proceed
ed to drag the contents OF the barrel.
/ After several Intellectual efforts. he SCOOP
ed out a small but healthy Goldfish, drip
| ping with brine, and laundering helpless
| ly as DunwoOdy laid it on the platform OF
a small pair of scales. sixteen and
| thTee-quarters,' he said.
DO YOU mind telling me-" | asked,
why you call that fish HOwgate?'
because we keep him out of sight"
said the ChiefSignal officer, hastily, with
| out looking up from his memorandum
book. Let's see. The noon entry is fif-
/ teen-half. Two o'clock fifteen-quarter,
/ DunwOOdy, that ID cod has gained q
pound and half since O'Clock"
ssMv gracious" said DunwOOdy.
The greatest alarm was now visible
upon the Chief Signal Officers face. 1t
was evident that the pOrtent was extra
| ordinary. He turned to me as if for SYM
| pathy."
''What does it indicator" 1 ventured to
inquire.
indicate, MANI" he shouted; lit in.
dictates that devil of gale is brewing
! somewhere. 1t is an ascertained fact
/ that the Goldfish takes in ballast before a
storm. But pound and half in -four
/ hours! The records of the office show
nothing like it. Why the fish gained less
| than six ounces in the seven hours pre-
ceding the great tornado of September.
Send out a general alarm, DunwOOdy,
without an instant's delay. Order up
the cautionary signals all along the At
! lantic coast. Warn the observers at the
lake ports. Predict areas of unprecedent-
| edly low pressure on the Southeast Rocky
! Mountain slope, in the upper lake region,
| in the Florida peninsula, and the 81.
| Lawrence valley. Predict 'em every
where, d-n it-predict anything you
id please, DunwOOdy; you can't draw
it too strong. a pound and half in four
| hOursn'
DunwOOdy rushed off as though COW
catcher was at his heels, and the Chief
/ Signal officer began to write message
/ after message, like one whose life depend
/ ed upon his CELEBRITY. The lively click OF
| telegraph instruments sounded in the
next room. People hurried to and fro in
the corridors. There was every indica-
ton of sudden and remarkable activity
throughout the headquarters of the
Weather Bureau.
At last the Chief Signal Officer arose
and drew a long breath. ''Pheww he
said. Everything has been done that
can be done. All we can do now is to
catch on to something by our eye teeth
and wait till the racket's over" Then he
perceived me again.
ssHallOw he said, rather CURLY. "1Ou
here still? Well, what can L do for you
| nOwT'
General" said /, 81 called to learn
whether it is true that the Signal Of1ce
has just procured a new Bulgarian bull
frog, who tells you by the way he jumps
which way the wind is going to blow"
Certainly, 1t is true" replied the Chief
Signal Officer; sand he affords some OF
our most valuable prOgnOstics. He is a
great accession to the service. You can
see HIM if you like; he ought to be some
where about the floor"