The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-01-27

legs on, and we rolled up our sleeves,
and smoked pipes, just like / read
that medical students do when they
cut up man. Well, you'd dide to
see pa look at us when he woke up.
L saw him open his eyes, and then
we began to talk about cutting up
dead men,
We put hickory nuts in our mouths
so our voices would sound different
so he wouldn't know us, and I was
telling the other boys about what a
time we had cutting up the last man
we bought. 1 said he was awful
tough, and when we had got his legs
Off and had taken out his brain, his
friends came to the dissecting room
and claimed the body, and we had
to give it up, but l saved the legs.
L looked at pa on the table and he
began to turn pale, and he squirmed
around to get up, but found he was
fast, and as he began to move 1
took an icicle, and in the dim light
OF the candles, that We're sitting on
the table in beer bottles, [ drew the
lcicle across pas stummick and l
said to my chum, Doc. 1 guess we
better cut open this old duffer and
see If he died from inflammation of
the stummick, or from hard drink.
ing, as the coroner said he did, Pa
shuddered all over when he felt the
icicle going over his bare stummick,
and he said, For Gods sake, gentle.
men, what does this mean! / am
not deadW The other boys looked
at pa in establishment, and l said
Well. we bought you for dead, and
the coroner's jury said you were
dead, and by the eternal we amt 60
ing to be fooled out of a corpse when
we buy one, are we Doc? p My chum
said not If he knowed himself, and
the other students said, of course he
is decd. He thinks he is alive, but
he died day before yesterday, fell
dead on the street. and his folks said
he had been a nuisance and they
wouldn't claim the corpse, and we
bought it at the morgue.' Then 1
drew the icicle across him again, and
1 said, L don't know about this doc
tor. l find that blood follows the
scalpel as l cut through the cuticle,
Hand me the blood sponge please
Pa began to wiggle around and we
looked at him. and my chum raised
his eye lid, and looked solemn, and
pa said, Hold on gentlemen, don't
cut into me any more, and l can ex-
plain this matter. This is all a mis-
take. 1 was only drunk
We went into corner and whis-
pered, and pa kept talking all the
time. He said if we would postpone
the hog killing he could send and get
witnesses to prove that he was not
dead, but that he was a respectable
citizen, and had a family. After we
had held a consultation l went to pa
and told him that what he said about
being alive might possibly be true,
though we had our doubts. Then 1
laid the icicle across pas abdomen
and went on to tell him that even if
he was alive it would be better for
him to play that he was dead be-
cause he was such nuisance to his
family that they did not want him,
and was telling that l had heard
that in his lifetime he was very cruel
to his boy, bright little fellow who
was at the head of his class in Sunday
school, and pet wherever he was
known, when pa interrupted me and
said, doctor, please take that carv-
ing knife off my stummick, for it
makes me nervous. AS for that boy
of mine, he is the condemndist little
whelp in this town, and he isn't no
pet anywhere. Now. you let up on
this dissectin' business, and l will
make it all right with you?"
We held another consultation and
then l told pa that we did not feel
that it was doing justice to society to
giveup the body ola notorious drunk
ard. after we had paid twenty dollars
for the corpse. If there was any hope
that he would reform and try and
lead different life. it would be diff
ferent. and l said to the boys" gentle-
men, we must do our duty. Doc. you
dismember that leg. and / will attend
to the stomach and the upper part of
the body. He will be dead before we
are done with him. We must re-
member that society has some claims
on us, and not let our better natures
be worked upon by the post mortem
promises of a dead drunkard. Then
1 took my icicle and began fumbling
around the abdomen portion of pas
remains, and my chum took rough
piece of ice and began to saw his leg
off, while the other boy took hold of