Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-07-19
NUMBER /.
Items of General News.

thread.
Juror Vernon, of the Star rout trial,
who had the jim-jams, has fallen heir
to $50, 1000.
An eloquent New York restaurant
waiter says Talmage is a regular hoss
on oatmeal mush."
Saratoga trunks are now made small. I.
er than formerly and the manufacture
ers of steam derricks are in despair.
"Heaven lies about us in our infan-
| cy," says the poet. Yes, and our
neighbors lie about US when we grow
up.
Justice Blatchford, of the United
States Supreme Court, has the curious
hobby of collecting calendars Of all
kinds.
Gen. Sheridan's mother, eighty-three
years of age, still lives in the same
house in Perry, Somerset county, Ohio,
in which he was born.
| A recently married woman has had
her entire house furnished in blue, SO
her husband will never forget to tell
her she has violet eyes.
The meanest man out, in the opin-
ion of the New Orleans Picdy,t,ee, is
| one who knows who will be the next
President but will not tell.
Belolt, Mich, has a woman preach
| er, Rev. Mrs. Jennie Thompson Jones,
pastor of the Bridge Street Church.
She is about thIrty-two years old.
The Atlanta Constitution says: sThe
indications are that the Democrats
mean to take time by the forelock in
nf 1no
Surprised eyebrows are among the
new fashions. They are very becom-
| ing to a maiden when she suddenly
hears that the ice-cream has given
out.
Ten billions of hairpins are manu-
| factured in this country annually, and
yet they are not sufficient to prevent a
hair getting into the butter now and
then.
Two Chicago girls tested their ability
to hold their breath. One could not
begin breathing again when she wish
ed to, and was with difficulty resusci-
| tated.
The Philadelphia Press thinks "Gov.
Butler is growing day by day, and bids
| fair to add the hide of another Republi-
can candidate to his stock of tanned
skins.
It takes but thirteen minutes to lead
an elephant on a train, while it takes
twenty for any sort of woman to kiss
her friends good-by and lose the check
for her trunk.
Indiana has six Presidential candi-
dates. The Democrats present four
Hendricks, Mcdonald, Holman and
Niblack, and the Republicans two
Harrison and Gresham.
Two Michigan puppies, only three
months old, one spaniel and the 9TH
er Newfoundland, wear silver collars
inscribed with their feat of saving q
little child from drowning.
Nine out of ten groups Of young la
dies one Overhears talking in the street
or elsewhere will be found to use the
pronoun he, his, or him. just 200 times
oftener than any other word.
A Wisconsin firm believer in a hell
of actual fire for sinners has fitted up
his cellar with painted flames, wooden
demons and other horrors. Here he
takes his children for whipping.
An Indiana woman gave up trip TO
California, sold her ticket for half price,
and returned home from the railroad
station, on learning that she could not
have her pet dog with her in the car.
An endless hell for five-sixths of the
human race is Joseph Cooks idea Of
the prime essential of the Christian re-
iigion. Joe evidently meets great
many disagreeable people on his trav-
els.
81 do not ask for ballot though very
life were at stake" writes Annie Lou
ise Cary. A common fiat-iron or roll
ing-pin lays over the ballot by large
majority when life is at stake in small
family.
A plant has been found that cures
bashfulness. 1t should be promptly
tried on the man who leaves the hotel
by the back window because he is too
difiident to say good-by to the cashier
and clerk.
Ben Hogan, the reformed prize fight
er. Is converting sinners in Colorado.
His wife, who deserted him and his
missionary cause for a new masculine
affinity in Chicago. has repented and is
again helping Ben.
Jesse Pomeroy, the Massachusetts
boy murderer, has made considerable
progress in the study of French and
German during his imprisonment and
speaks both languages fiuently. His
temper is as bad as ever.
Senator Edmonds advises every tour
ist to buy q guide book, and then avoid
the beaten paths it recommends. It
leads inevitably to where fashion has
gone, and If you want real rest and rec
reation you must not go there.
Bracket is a Bostonian who sprink-
led his carpets literally with naphtha
to rid them of moths. Then he lighted
the gas and had an explosion violent
enough to burn off his hair and beard,
smash the furniture and fire the house.
Shoppers had a joyful day in Racine,
Wis. A jeweller, on learning that q
creditor was on his way from the East
to seize the stock, advertised that he
had marked down prices ninety per
cent. Goods valued at 81 600 were snld