The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-04-26
ALL SORTS:

sell their poems.
The Nihilists promise the car big
blow out when he is crowned.
italian music is fine because it -
ground so much on the street.
Bacon says: Eating makes full
man So does eating bacon.
A lovers puzzle-How to get the mar
ket money after the wedding.
Free trade organs admit that the new
tariff law is better than more.
Thirteen states hold elections this
year, eight choosing governors.
Is taking ground against a man the
same thing as throwing mud at him?
Ex-Governor Sprague calls it
"beasly state of affairs in Rhode Island.
A veracious exchange says: Age will
tell on man So will Rerdell or Ca
reg.
The bill making the governors salary
800 has passed the Connecticut legisla-
tnre.
Cincinnati is trying to organize cit
liens movement for use at the spring
election.
The North Carolina legislature has
made liberal appropriations for graded
schools.
Punch says that English reward of
bravery is a garter and a wooded leg 10
wear it on.
Now that congressman are out OF the
way, Washingtons only sensation is the
star route trial.
Neal Dow is not hopeful of any liquor
legislation by the Maine legislature dur
ing its present session.
1t should be lemem bered that Vidooq,
the boss detective, was himself thief
Washington Detectives.
In the Arkansas house the bill COM
pelling all the railroads to reduce pas
senger fares was defeated.
A strong compulsory education bill is
before the Illinois legislature, with fair
prospects of its becoming a law.
The following inscription has been
found in a Pennsylvania graveyard:
"Methuselah Smith, aged one year"
No less than 1889 bills and joint reso-
lutions were introduced into congress at
its last session, OF which only 1853 secured
passage.
He said but little, yet as he gazed on
the multilated edge of his razor he vowed
never again to marry woman with
corns.
There are three pie factories in Phila-
delphia. Philadelphia also has the most
flour ishing obituary columns.-Courier-
Journal.
"There, that explains where my
clothes-line went tor exclaimed an Iowa
L. L. L,,.I h.,
ing in the stable.
The Prohibitionists of Michigan have
made nominations for the university and
judicial offices which are to be filled at
the spring election.
What is the national fishery question,
pompously exclaimed an orator, and .
squeaking voice in the audience said:
Have You got bite?"
The old proverb, when there's
will there's way" has been revised to
suit the situation. 1t now reads, when
there a bill we're away"
Said the editor of the bore: 1T isn't
that lie doesn't know enough to come in
when 1t rains; he doesn't know enough
to stay out when it doesn't rain.-Boston
Post.
What is the difference between
honey comb and honey moon? A
honey-comb consists of a number of
small cells. while a honeymoon is one
great cell.
The following occurred in a Lowell
Sabbeth school on Sunday: Teacher -
On what we're given the commandments
to Moses? Little boy-On two marble
top tables.
The expression you all, " SO common
in this part of the country, is from
Shakespeare: lyon all did see that on
the Lupercal / thrice presented him q
kingly crown"
The paragraphist of the Boston Post
declines the presidency of the United
States because, wherever the president
goes, there is always a band playing
Hail to the Chief.
The head of the Malagassy embassy,
Mr.. Bavoninabitrimsritoo, is expected
IN Washington shortly. He will arrive
in one steamer, but his name had to be
cooled up in the hold of another, like an
ocean cable'-Pittsbur Telegraph.
The last new name that has come up
for the presidency is that Of Senator
Miller of California, who. his friends
say, would easily carry all of the doubt
full Pacific states and Indiana, his native
state, as well.-Phil. Press.
Yesterday in pharmacy, English, en-
tiers young man, blonde, afflicted with
a horrible suffering. Il wa-wa-want,'