Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1883-05-19
THE 1Imz-K.Ls CLUB ON MODERN STYLE.

"Gem' len, has a painful bit o. news
to spread befo' de meesin," began Brother
Gardner as he motioned to Elder Toots to
put down the alley window. Nicodemus
Pembroke Scott, local member of dis
lodge. has crossed into Canady an will not
reappear among US. Fur de las three
months l have bin expectin' some sich eli
max, an dis mawnin', when messenger
informed me dat he had disappeared, arter
failin' in an attempt to shoot hisself wild an
ole boss. pistol, war not bit surprised.
He leaves wife an two chilPen an about
fifty creditors.
"What sent him of? De same reasons
dat am daily workin to bring about an
oder panic-de same reasons dat explain
de hundreds OBJ bizness failures-de same
reasons dat am criplin' de efforts of thou.
sands Of hare. workin' men to secure homes
of DER own-family extravaganza. No,
YOU can't call it extravaganza foolery am
a better name for it. Up to a var ago
Brudder Scott was jobbin' aroun' an
maxim dollar day. Den he got stu
ashun by which he Armed fo'teen dollara
per week. He was poo off in de house an
had debts hangin' ober him. but heah was
de chance to get chen. How was it i'm
proved? In less dan one month his wife
was rugged out wild twenty dollar dress,
twelve ahillin' kids, fve-dollar hat an an
opera fan. He had no peace OBJ min on.
less he obeyed her. In six weeks she be-
came too heightened to wash an iron fur
odder folkses In two months she wanted
a better house, wild red psrler carpet an
cane seat chars all aroun' de room. In
three months she had to have black silk
dress. gold bracelets. tony bonnet, kid
shoes an gold film in her teef.
"Dat foolery has reaped its harvest. De
husband found dat he was runnin' behind,
his home was bein' neglected, his wife was
bein' gossiped about, an in despair he has
picked up his feet an slid ont. 1t was the
material result 1 tell you, my frens, de
tomsoolery of de women OF dis kentry am
strainin' on de ctalk-line till de cord can't
ssan' much mo-, an it am high time dat
somebody sots hig foot down. De man
who Arms S25 per week has somehow got
de ideah into MS head dat de world expects
him TO dress his wife as If he Armed a
bankers profits. Wives of men who can't
keep up wild DER house.rent am canterin'
up an down wild seal-skin sacques an six
dollar shoes. Wives of men who have to
dodge de butcher an grocer an tailor am
now selectin' spring carpets an orderln'
$50 iambreauins. Wives of men who
couldn't raise $50 at de bank to save DER
necks. am rushin' to balls an parties an
havin' DER expensive dresses described fur
de benefit of de public.
'De so-called society Of de aige am
composed of false hair, false pretenses,
debt.dodging, an base decepshun. Our
rich people am distinguished by DER plain
dress an quiet manners. De snides an
dudes an dodos do all de swaggerin', rush
on all de colofs, an monopolizs de biggest
sheer of de street. You wait De man
who lives fur ancder ten vars will h'ar
euthin' CRAP, an AFTER de drap takes place
de thousands Of idiots who now feel
ashamed to admit dat they doan' keep but
two servant gals in de house will go back
to DER cook. stoves an wash.tubs an take
DER proper places in de purceshun."
Givesdan Jones suddenly arose and Of
fered the following:
sc Res0lUed Dat no freeman will submit
to de yoke of tyranny.
"Brudder Jones', replied the President,
as looked down upon him, if you pay
your rent, iced an clothe your family, an
appear at church cherry odder Sunday, de
yoke of tyranny won't nebber hurt you
any. When you h'ar man talkin' about
yokes an tyrants an freemen you kin
s'arch aroun' fur soft spot in his head.
We will now depopulate de meetin. "-[Ds.
tIoit Free Press.