Smyrna times., 1883-02-07
Current Comment.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

o be Overioyed" because there is
that the French crisis may
esult in the overthrow of the republic.
Empress Eugene, it seems, merely
vent to Paris to get tooth pulled by
Ter old family dentist. The dentist
lid the pulling and all France did the
Yelling.
Bill Nye, the editor of the Laramie
Boomerang, has the gout and the doc
tor says it was caused by lack of exer-
else. He evidently did not do his own
" Is it crime to be woman ?" asks
Lille Devereux Blake. 1t is not a
crime, Lille, but being a woman when
you don't want to be is certainly a
great misfortune.
When We see a tightly-laced woman
trying to enjoy good laugh with a
smile on her mouth and tears in her
eyes, we think Of the dear old hymn,
which begins Let joy be unconfned."
The average sleeper and passenger
coach are about as safe as a roohess
powder-magazine next door to
foundry in full blast.-NetC York Times.
Or sixth-story room in Milwaukee
hotel.
Ice will be very high next Summer,
not on account of any failure in the
crop, but because the Jumps are SO
thick and heavy that there will be a
great deal of wear and tear on the
scales.
What is the difference between the
hanson cabs run by the Pennsylvania
railroad and those run by private
parties ?-George. In one the cabman
gets quarter; in the other you get no
quarter.
A Pittsburg man 81 years of age has
just been married. He felt it was an
awful undertaking, but he knew it
would not be for long, and guessed he
could worry through till death camet to
his relief
France is in trepidation of fear lest
Prince Plon-Plon should seize the
throne. If France is willing to ex-
change Prince Plon-Plon for Ben
Butler, the American people. would
trade even.
Governor Begale of Michigan thinks
that the title of governor should be
abolished and principal servant"
substituted. That would do as we'll as
anything. The principal servant
always wants to run the whole house.
The Baltimore Sun says of crimi-
nal: He was a bad character, and
his father once represented the county
in the legislature. Suppose he was a
bad character the Sun has no right to
pile disgrace ON him in that kind of
style.
Under the laws of Illinois he who
steals copy of a morning paper from
a subscribers doorstep can be fined
$1OO A man who would steal an
Illinois paper under any circumstances
deserves to be severely punished
Boston Post.
The Princess Louise has regular
features, an agreeable expression, fair
skin, excellent figure and sweet smile.
She is called the beauty of the royal
family" which is polite way of say
ing that she is not so homely as the
, rest of them.
Peter Cooper, now in his 92d year,
declines statue in the Cooper Insti-
. tute. "Such a monument" he says,
would cause me much pain while 1
;, am living" Peter has evidently seen
some of the statutes erected to other
prominent Americans.
!, The Princess Louise would not i'm
= merse her royal body in the common
. bathtub at Richmond hotel, and
! new one was put up for her. The
= plumber who did the job can now in
= scribe on his coupe doors, Bathtub
:, builder to the Princes Leuise."
8 Walcott, the New York quail-eater,
d takes big dose of pepsin after each
meal. His contest will thus make the
virtues of pepsin known, and if in after
Of years people who go to wedding recep-
r tions carry bottle or two along, Mr..
lie Walcott will not have lived in vain.
: The proprietor of one Albany hotel
v has placed in every room in his house
g. knotted rope long enough to reach
N the ground, and fastened one end of it
of to staple in the floor. There is now
n no reason why any good circus actor
n should not feel quite safe in that hotel.
As The Indians find no fault with their
) rations now, but they complain that
" their scalping knives are worn out,
p and they will need new ones before
Ne they can open their Spring campaign
~ The Society for the Protection oi
ne Indians should attend to this without
y delay.
to When the Pennsylvania road leased
wv the P. w. & B. they raised the prices
tn so as to correspond with those on the
main line. 1t is thought that they viii
raise the accommodations so as Il
i'm correspond with those of the main lin'
'er in a century or two, if they don't forget
81 about it.
ts, The teacher asked the biggest bey n
school to prove, in the algebra class
that equals 2y's., and he said it did