Milford chronicle., 1883-12-07
WIT AND WISDOM.


is the silent partner.
THE tramp is still securing the cour
try. 1t is the only thing he does scou1
WOMEN loses considerable time befor
the looking glass, but man loses NOR
before the social glass.
bill, you're lookin' the worse 70
wear P' ''No p replied Bill, ''but I'm
heap the worse for tear. Haaokeye.
IFA man empties his purse into hi
head, no man can take it away from
him. An investment in knowledge al
ways pays the best interest.
WHATEVER difference there may ap
pear to be IN mems fortunes, there i.
still a certain compensation of good ant
i'll in all, that makes them equal.
A BURLINGTON boy sent for a fifty
cent watch and received d sun-dial. He
has named it ''Faith," because faith
without works is dead. Free Press.
DARwNIAN theory: There is a boy in
Norristown who 'sprang from mon
key" The monkey belonged to an or
gan grinder and attempted to bite the
boy.
A YOUNG MAN, violently in love with a
pretty seamstress, being asked what
business he was in, sighed deeply and
said: 81 am developing a sewing-ma-
chine attachment" "
A New YORK man has asked for q di-
vorce because a mustache is sprouting
on his wife's lip. As rule it makes a
man mad to have any mustache on his
wife's lip but his own.-Middletol0,e
Transcript.
"MARY, said mother to her daugh-
ter, "has Henry proposed yet ?" "Not
yet, ma, but 1 think he will before many
lays" "What makes you think so ?"
Because he asked me if you expected
o live with me if married, and 1 told
lin no.
DURING the thick fog the other even
ng Com Com took a poor blind
lan by the hand and led him to his door
'elling the story to friend ON the fol-
1wing day, he cried: cit is terrible to
e blind in such a fog r'-Boston
Oatrier.
In order that your husband may not
rget to bring in coal, place the hod
ear the door where he cannot fail TO
il over it. The chances are. bv all
DDS, that he'll not try to scuttle ont
his duty, after a few mornings gentle
"GIvE ME, said the schoolmaster. ga
ntence in which the words "a burning
anne are properly applied" Imme-
ately the bright boy at the head of the
ass went to the blackboard and wrote
'atan's treatment of the wicked is a
rning shame"
hint to young men Z
on't throw any obstacle in the way of l
ur lady friends when they express I
riosity about the size of your feet. ID
ristmas is coming, and if you lie
out the matter, the chances are your *
" slippers will be four sizes too small
SUCH Is the encouragement given to
-tery, in the present times, that it is
de to sit in the parlor, while honesty N
urned out Of doors. Flattery is never
agreeable as to our blind side com.
nd fool for his wit or a knave for
honesty, and they will receive YOU =
} their bosom.
II party the other night a Young
4 got girl into corner and began pu
spering to her. It was very weari- pie
le to her, and just as she was about ia 10
amt she startled the company by the the tl.
pairing shrek of ''a girl over bored r' bri
this brought immediate relief. - -
Chronicle. ID
STATIONERY POETRY. II
Why did the penholder so tight, 49,.
And let the paper cutter so? we We
When Papa Terry knew 'twant write pri,
To have a ruler for beau. pay
Why did the inkstand idly by.
And note that things weren't straight?
should have tried to rubber dry,
And make the paper weight.
Merchant TrdUeler. -
TE director of the mint advises that RI
coinage of gold dollars and three @
pieces be discontinued. So far as Dea
old dollar part of the advice is con-
I'd, we do not care; but when the II
OonU P-eoe ls "llIlutaWn from clr- pror
ion we sholl fool thnL -. -.