Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-09-06

posed 1t would not 60 off under water
and was astonished when it killed hi.
companion.
The statement published all over the
country that no patent has been taken
out by 4 negro. is incorrect. A Boston
negro has patents on \ carpet beating
machine, and Il negro woman of the
same city has 4 patent on tiat-iron heat.
ers.
A Lansingburgh (N.Y.) boot and shoe
dealer in closing up his business affairs
for the reason that his progesitors died
at an age which he is fast approaching.
He Is sure he will die at the prescribed
age. and is making arrangements ac-
cordingiy.
The Omaha belle to whom seeming
" valuable diamond brooch was given
had no great confidence in the gallant
donor, and lost no time in taking the
stone TO an expert, who pronounced it
worthless. That ended the social career
IN Omaha Of the Count Roscommon. "
The American printing house for the
blind, just dedicated at Louisville. is the
first building ever erected in the world
large yard. surrounded with trees. and
Is OF brick, three stories high, with an
ample basement
They have an annual running race
over in Persia. A lot of men enter their
horses and deposit the entrance fees
with the Shah. The race is then run.
after which the Shah takes possession of
the winner. and sticks TO all the on
trance money.
The fine hotels at Saratoga are OBJ
posed to hosS-trots in that city, as it
brings q class of guests they do not
want, but which, luckily for these fine
hotels, put up ut inferior hostelries.
They are equally Indifferent to boat
races, and will subscribe, the Grand
ORt0n man says, to any more prizes
The fewer hOsS-men and rOwerS they
have in town the better the visitors who
go there for rest and quiet will like it.
The Thirteen Club" rs it is called.
was organized in New York with the
great and good object of defving the
traditional thirteen OF superstition But
the members, who undertook to carry
out their advanced notions simply bv
the use of humor, have found that the
obligations of the club are making life
a burden. When i'll order to explode a
superstition it IS necessary to take thir-
teen drinks every time the club meets
to make thirteen Jokes, and to have
thirteen wines, the superstition very
rapidly loses all its terr0rs. The last
thing the club did was to send $500
to the fund for Il Peter Cooper monu-
mcnt
Atobacconist's clerk inBoston brought
the wooden INDIAN in the other night.
for which he thought the proprietor
might pay him extra, rs it is 4 rare
thing for clerks to take such spells The
who is near-sighted, being
unconscious of the boys freak, rushed
out and grabbed what he supposed was
the Indian and dragged it into the shop.
1t proved to be an Irishman, well tank
ed up with tire-Water. For time there
were War-WhOOps, sounds of revelrV and
80 $50 OF broken glass. In moment
after the cyclone had passed that too
smart boy was shot out of the door as
if by Il catapult. Then two men were
seen to walk arm-in-arm into green
blind bean bakery, and all was still ex-
cept the boy, who was neither comfort
able in mind nor body.
The most enthusiastic circus-goer in
this country is John Clancy, convict of
the Michigan Penitentiary at jackson.
He said beforehand that he should 90
to the show, and when it came along
the other day suddenly disappeared and
could nowhere be found. Nobody
dreamed that he had cot out and search
was only made in the yard, but late at
night the door-bell rang and in walked
Clancy, full of glories of the sawdust
ring and apologizing for being out so
late by saying he wanted to stay and
near the concert" He is supposed to
2aYe got out by secreting himself in a
wagon, and returned because it would
De easier to serve out the sentence than
20 get out of the state. But he said the
show was SO good that the sight paid fer
Ill his trouble.