Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1883-10-22

Great Excitement Caused in the Spoop-
endyke Family by Its Loss.

BrooklyR Eagla.
MY DEAR said Mrs. SpOopendvke.
glancing up from the letter she was
writing. and pressing the nib of the pen
[ on her thumb nail. to see why il didn't
work any better. ''Say, my dear. do Won
know where to lind that text, For the I'M
believing husband is sanctiied in the
WIfeT"
Sin Exodus, isn't itY, replied Mr..
SpOOpendykc. 1T sounds like Exodus.
Where's the BibIe:"
Il was looking for it today returned
Mrs. spOopendyke, getting up and prepar-
ing for another Search Il don't think it
IS in Exodus, because it sounds more like
/ Paul. ! think some one must have stolen
the Bible, for / haven't seen it since we
came from the country"
That's kind OF curious sOlilOqused
Mr.. SpOOpendyke, arOusIng himself to
assist in the investigation. Il don't
know who would want to steal Bible.
Don't you remember where you put ii ?
| Think It's in here?" and Mr.. SDoOpendyke
| upset the bandbOX containing his wife's
new hat, and then made a lunge for the
fancy coal scuttle behind the stove. "You
had it last, what did you do with it:''
/ 1t wouldn't be apt to get in there,
would itF' suggested Mrs. SpOOpendyke,
trying to divert her husbands attention
/ by rafting the vases on the bureau.
eff it's the orthodox Bible, it's liable
! to penetrate any where and everywherelr
retOrted Mr.. SpOOpendyke, abandoning
the scuttle and making a dive for the but
I ton bag. ssStrikes me that Bible is keen
/ ing pretty quiet for the Word" he rumi-
mated rs he tipped the buttons out on the
I floor, and darted across the room to try
/ the bureau drawers. 'Be in a fine fix if
a minister should happen to drop in now
and ask for family worship. Have to tell
him TO 90 on his recollection or start
3 4 L. I. 4
I dyke pulled the ShamS of the bed and
then got down on his hands and knees
10 look under it. 'Ell bet hat it's where
/ | said ii was
"Where's that, dear!" asked Mrs.
/ spOOpendyke, suppOsing he had found it.
'sIn Exodus" snOrted Mr.. SpOOpendyke,
| Wiping the ornaments off the mantel piece
and looking behind the clock. Can't you
I remember what / say from one moment
to another: If you had any memory,
with your habits of classification, you'd
only need the coat of arms OF all nations
and little more incOherence to be a first
rate dictionary / don't know, though"
continued Mr.. SpOOpendyke, Illuminating
on this proposition while he tore the
things out of the wardrobe. Il don't
/ know but what you would have to get
new binding and have your sides marble
lied. You don't suppose that Bible got
lonely and went of into the country on
I It's own NOOK. 90 you =
s''im sure ] don't know" murmured
Mrs. SpOOpendyke. Il can't imagine how
il would do a thing like that. l think it
is only mislaid. Wen find it."
''Well. / should remark replied Mr..
~pOOpeddyke, without meaning the slight
/ est irreYerence. There may be only one
small fish or a crust Of the bread left but
We'll md what there is before we 90 to
bed. Unless that Bibles gone to get it,
self revised there'll be no sleep in the
SpOOpendyke apartments until we lay our
hands lovingly on that dear old family
Bible. Maybe it's hid under bushel"
and he capsiZed the waste paper basket
and scattered the contents over the room.
I u don't know but what it is i'm Exc
dus,' said Mrs. SpOOpendyke, with her
finger i'm her mouth. snow | come to
/ think il over I'm sure it's in Exodus, SO
you needn't look for IT any mOre.'
II know it's in Exodus" said Mr..
SpOOkendyke, kicking his wife's work
basket across the floor and turning the
contents over with his boot. But Pm
4 going to find out which end of Exodus 1T
is i'm before l go to business again! How
do YOU suppose any ones to know when
l we were married, or when the baby was
born, or when we died, if we don't find
that Biblel Think I'm going through life
without a Bible to refer to when Pm lone
" and depressed? Got some kind of
Z uUlAbli- bttduSt L III EOOu anu lAOuc- llldi
religion comes natural TO me, haven't YEP
Well, it don't. Pye got to keep posted
just as we'll as any one else. Where's
that Bible!" demanded Mr.. SpOOpendybe,
; rising in wrath as the book seemed TO
eVade his search. What's become of the
piOus iniunctiOns of my youth? HOw'm
| going to be able to tell SOlOmOn's wives
from the rest Of his family unless 1 have
the book before mey Where's my Macca-
bees and my Zaccheus: Where are the
friends of my DOyhOOd?' and MIR. SpOOp-
endyke Strengthened up in the middle of
the room and glared at his wife as though
she had inflicted on him mortal injury.
They've been dead some time," replied
Mrs. Spoopendyke, who always took
everything literally. anyway, you don't
care about them tonight
And my Abraham begat Isaac, and
Isaac begat Jacob, and Jacob begat
Judah and his brethren! Where are
they; suppose some fellow asks me to-
F.. | morrow who JUdah'S brethren begat,
what am to say: Whatre We standing
there for, looking like Il hole in the fence
f0ry Think that helps you any,"
''Say. dear" commenced Mrs. SpOOpen-
/ dyke. '-dOn't you remember the night you
and Mr.. SpeckleW0ttle got into a dispute
as to whether the prOdigal son was
thrown into the pit, or was the one
whose ear Peter cut off for hiding his
talents in a napkin? l haven't seen the
Bible since then. You had it out, and
when YOU got through you put it in your
silk hat, and here it is nOw!'' and Mrs.
SpOOpendyke held up the missing vol
ume, her face wreathed in smiles of de-
| light that things had not been any worse.
Found it. didn't yOu?" grOwled Mr..
t SpoOpendyke. snatching the book out of
her hands. Another time, when | get
through with it, YOU remember what | do
with it. Now, let's find that measly text
you were so anxious about" And MIR.
SpOOpendyke pOred through Exodus and
then laid down the book i'm disgust.
There's no such thing in the Bible" he
said. II knew there wasn't all the time,
, but wanted to prove it to YOU"
Let me look" suggested Mrs. SpOop-
endyke, and turning TO | Corinthians,
Wilt, she found and read it to him. 81
had an idea that it was in some of PauFs
writings she remarked as she shut the
book and put it away.
'That's what you always haveH roared
Mr.. SpOOpendyke, enraged by his defeat.
S'If YOU should ever run short of ideas
you'd be a comparatively smart woman.
Some day I'm going to put a spiggOt in
your dOd gasted mouth and start public
school with you, unless ] change my mind
and conclude to open branch college for
the preparation of married women for the
unatic asyluml" and immensely pleased
with this business outlook Mr.. SpOOpen-
dyke dropped his clothes in the middle OF
the floor for his wife to pick up and tum-
. bled into bed.
II don't care" murmured Mrs. SpOo-
pendyke, as she took down her back hair
and screwed herself around to see if il
! reached to her waist. Il don't care. He
5 can poke fun at me all he likes, and he
2 can upset everything in the house, but
: | know that Mrs. SpecklewOttle wears a
switch. and she can deny it all she wants
!. TO, she can't deceive me-" and with this
consOlatOry reflection Mrs. SpOOpendyke
T popped in bed, and after thinking foI
8 awhile got up and puttered around in the
: dark, putting the room in order in case
[ | anything should happen to herself or he1
3 husband in the night.
Two Fortunate Examinations.
5 Two incidents similar i'm CHASTITY inter
, est and fortunate termination are cOmbin
! | ed in the following paragraph from the
- / TOndOn TlTiIu JpIp0rOnb.