The Osceola times., 1883-02-24

Is III nOt nOre tIlall llttic CuiiouS tihit
subject which is scarcely second in
magnitude to any other in life, gets no
treatment in literature of a strictly seri-
Gus kind? OF anecdotes and bon mots
concerning it-which are always fiippant
or couched in tone of distinct levity-
there is no end. What, in fact, would
the lively newspaper paragraphist do
without either this or some one ofthe ad-
juncts to marriage?
Can any one account for the circuln-
stance that q topic in which interest is
confessedly enormous and universal,
should find its place in literature mainly
in this way, or else as an episode in fic-
ton? Why does it not appear sometime
as a subject of reasonable thought?
do not know that | should be able to
answer these questions were to attempt
it. Perhaps they are essentially insolu
bic. But in trying to throw little light
upon the field in which they lie it may
] be said of me as Mr.. Ruskin said of him.
self, when he wrote book upon an un-
usual theme, that / do it because | know
nothing about it.
1t is clearly, whatever else may be true
not amcnabe to the ready-made letter
writer treatment Perhaps it comes into
existence in something like the way
Topsy did, by growing, the time in which
! /. L Ia L.,,,.. 81, Il
fnablc or known. A flash of the eye, IA
pressure of the hand, tone of the voice,
an exalted sense of admiration and well
come, these do even more than any
words TO usher in and conclude the stu
alton.
1t would be an interesting study to
turn over hundred or more of the best
novels and romances, and witness the
way this happy-or, as often unhappy
event is described and set forth in them.
But do not propose to do this. In Mr..
Howell's story, "Dr. Bruce's Practice"
the real proposal comes at last from the
! heroine herself, in which she was justi-
fed, | am free to say, not perhaps by
Mrs. Grundy, but by the soundest can
ons of common sense. II she had not
been undergoing long tutelage in pro-
fession which is still mainly outside of
the feminine field, she might not have
been equal to this effort. At least good
many others who should be are not.
The proposal of marriage is modern
Eleusinian mystery, but with no organ
lied society to give it uniform ritual or
to communicate its mode. There is no
uniform receipt for it, nor can one be
prescribed which shall be infallible
while another is uncertain. No one sees
how it is consummated except the par
ties Immediately interested, and if it is
crowned with success they do not, am
told remember year later, the exact
manner and phraseology of it. But he
who tries it and fails is supposed to have
a more retentive memory of the occasion
and probably always concludes that his
failure has been owing to some lack of
| tilHtiihtSH, VI SuDH1diiON, VI SIdCc III MS
address.
What is most noticeable in novels is
that no formula of a marriage proposal,
as there exhibited, is very much as we
suppose one to exist that is adaptable 10
real life. You feel sure that it has not
at any time been used, and could not be
employed in any actual or real emer-
gency.
To all the various kinds of proposals
suggestive, point blank, or other-one
maxim, of the world applies, namely
that you must not, unless you are away
from the object of your love, make the
first declaration of regard and affection
through pen and ink. Except in rare
cases nothing but failure comes of it, tho
when the subject has been properly be-
gun, in proper way, the employment of
stationery may prove, in wise hands, a
valuable auxiliary process.
But it is the conventional code, rlther,
which has solidified itself round this
subject which calls for the most remark.
Doubtless if some genius of a tendency
like Herbert Spencer should give us in
a thorough, radical way its history with
all the WHY'S and whercfores, he would
find himself the author of most unique
and wonderful treatise. The etiquette,
as it now stands, seems to be not the pro-
duct Of the feminine mind, but its ideal
of virtuous essence, and to find its most
sturdy support on that side of humanity.
And yet it places woman on an enormous
inequality.
have been wondering all my life why
il is that, in the matter of initiative, q
coarse, unattractive young man should
have the privilege to ask any unmarried
woman in the whole world to marry
him, while his refined and much more
accomplished sister must make no mo-
ton toward any choice of her own, ex-
cept to sit still and wait for some other
girls Indifferent brother to make pro-
posal to her.
Ifit be true, as 1 am assured, that the
most attractive young lady cannot hope
to have more than from six to twelve of.
fers at the most in lifetime, and prac.
tically must depend on much less than