davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-04-21
Asteroids.

High titd-Marrled up IN a balloon.
Low tied-Married down in a cave.
There be they whom reverses affect
not. Hannah and Anna for samples.
A grocer both sells his goods and
gives them a weigh.
Song of the Nihilist-"TwinkIe,
twinkle, little Gar"
A newly-married Detroit clergyman
took for his text, ''She pleaseth me
WE'LL"
A mans tongue often betrays him,
but he always can count on his fingers.
Men don't blow out their brains be-
cause of too much pressure in the up
per story,
The tramp is not, as a general thing
wealthy, but he can afford to spend his
summer in the country.
Falstaff didn't say: 'Better be a COW
ard all your life than a corpse five min
utes," but he meant it.
"Did you know" said an English
mar to a jew, ''that they hang Jews
and asses together in Poland?"
"~Indeed!" replied the Jew. "Then it
is fortunate that you and 1 are not
there"
Hens may be a little backward on
eggs, bnt they never fail to come to the
scratch where flower-beds are concern
ed.
The young mans fancy now lightly
turns to thoughts of whether the same
pretty waiter girl will be at the hotel
where he stopped last summer
The only surviving horse of the
late wal has commenced to die. He is
as numerous rs George Washington's
| pOiy Sel Ndilt.
An Iowa farmer bet a new hat that
he could cross the railroad track with
his team before the train came up. He
lost 10y ten feet. The distance was
measured by his heirs.
A little girl was walking along the
street the other day, when she saw a
very bowlegged man with short coat
on.-"Oh, mal' she cried. Theirs a
mar with a tunnel under himl''
The latest advices from Japan report
the Mikado sick of a peculiar japanese
disease called ''kakake." One stutter-
ing contributor wonders how he ''t-took
the k~a-kake."
A certain shoemaker of Lynn having
been divorced four times has just mar
ried his fifth wife, and people are now
advising him to stick to his last.
A South Carolina brides dowry in
cluded a $4,000 set of false teeth. And
her husband, when he speaks of herr
precious mouth, knows what he is talk
ing about.
Why is a saloon like a sheet Of nus
ic? The number of beats before the
bar varies according to time. Green
backs expended for cheering beverages
may properly he called full" notes.
sit is too bad, =" remarked a rural ed
it,r mournfully. Zone OF my adyer-
Users is whitewashing his fence, and
now | VII have to sit down and write
a column and a half about the advan-
tages of having such ~enterprising citi-
Zens.
Now Johnny" said an Austin
school teacher, ''what happened after
the angel with the fiery sword dlove
Adam and Eve out of the Garden of
Eden?'' "They had to eat bread to
make them sweat"
Eyes, sir" said the irate man, 81
got even with that clergyman, L slur-
red him. Why, l hired one hundred
people to attend his church and go to
sleep before he had preached five min
utes."
One of the boys, acquainted with
Fogg's frequent changes of abode, ask
ed him which he thought was the cheap
er-to move, OF pay rent. 81 can't
tell you, my dear boy" replied Fogg;
Il have always moved"
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-04-21
Rev. Father Wilds'
EXPERIENCE.

The Rev. y. p. wilds, weu-knowR city
missionary in New York, and brother
of the late eminent Judge Wilds, Of the
Massachusetts Supreme Court, writes
as foIiows3
rs n. san 81, Netc York, Nay IS, 1882.
MEssRs. j. G. AVER & Co, Gentlemen
Last winter / was troubled with a most
uncomfortable itching humor aleetmg
more especially my limbs, which itchei go
intolerably at night, and burned so Intense
~. that L could scarcely bear any clothing
over them. was also a sufferer from =
severe catarrh and catarrhal cough my
appetite was poor, and my system z sool
deal run down. Knowing the value o.
AYERS SARsAPARILLA, by observation OF
many other cases, and from personal use
in former years, / began taking It for the
above-named disorders. My appetite I'M
proved almost from the first dose. After
n short time the fever and itching were
ailayed, and all signs of irritation OF the
skin disappeared. My catarrh and cough
were also cured by the same means, and
my general health greatly improved, until
II is now excellent. / feel a hundred per
cent stronger, and | attribute these results
10 the use Of the S|ABsAPARiLLA, when
I recommend with all confidence rs the
best blood medicine ever devised. / TOOK
Il in small doses three times a day, ana
used, ia all. less than two bottles; l lisGe
these facts at your service, hoping their
publication may do good.
Yours respectfully, z. Z. NiLps'
The above instance is but one Of the many
constantly coming 10 our notice, which prove
the perfect adaptability of AYERS SARsA-
pARrLLA TO the cure of all diseases arising
from impure or impoverished blood. and a
waakened vitality.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-04-21

The latest advices from Japan report
the Mikado sick of a peculiar japanese
disease called "kakake." One stutter-
ing contributor wonders how he "t-took
the ka-kake."
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-04-21

A little girl was walking along the
street the other day, when she saw a
very b~owlegged man with,a short coat
on.-"Oh, NAL" she cried. Theirs a
man with a tunnel under himl''
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-04-21

A certain shoemaker of Lynn having
been divorced four times has just mar
ried his fifth wife, and people are now
advising him to stick to his last.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
KATIE JUDD,s ESCAPE.
The Newport Fire hug Breaking sas
and also Freeing Il Burglar

NEWPORT, March 9.-At d 80 this morn
ING .Iailkeeper Jones went TO the cell COZ.
iidor Of the Jail to give theprlsoners theif
breakfast. He then discovered that Katie
Judd. ALA Katie Flynn, the Massachusetts
fire bug who fired the Weaver cottage III
January las, and George Ii. Ronnds, the
burglar who entered the Allen, Wright,
Svinborre. Andrews. and other cottages
and stole a large quantity OF yaiuaeies,
were missing. Up to the moment OF their
escape they had never seen Or spoken 10
each other. for when Rounds, who is a
Newport lad, was captured in December
Lost had never been in Rhode Island, and
thev have had no opportunities to see or
know each other in the Jail. Yet BOND
Of sympathy spraug up between them III
sorp way. and there can be no question
but that tr, gent Indirect communication
has been had been had between them. Al
investigation Of tlc Juad woman cell
showed that she had made hole OF ten ~
nine inces through tWelve-inch brick
wall. She then craWlcd into the ADJOINING
cell. which was empty and the door open.
How The large iron door communicating
from the dwelling house to the cell rooms
is still mystery. At all events, the key
to Rounds cell was taken from closet
where the jailkeepcr had them, and the
the iron door being open. it was an easy
matter to iberate Rounds. letter De
tween the parties was intercepted some
time ago. It showed, strange to say, tha'
there was a complete understanding be-
tween tine two as to what they should 10
when their escape had been effected. Ifie
prevailing opinion is that there was out
side help. The Judd woman, though only
25 wears Old, had previously served five
wears in Massachusetts State prison ior
arson, aud is wanted there on another
charge Of the saa2e kind. She cost Dir.
Weaver over $22, coo.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
Inquiry Into Gen. Hazen's Conduct

WASHINGTON, March 9.-There was
great anxiety to-day at the Signal Office,
but it was not on account Of Wiggin's
storm. That meteorological bngaboo did
not disconcept the observers nor agitate
the officers detailed to take charge Of the
Weather Bureau. Their solicitude sprang
from much more personal matter. IL
was reported early III the day that the Sc
cretary OF War had ordered 4 court of in
quiry oh Gen. Hazen's conduct and in
structed Adit-Gcn. Drum to make the
necessary detail of Officers. This report
put the office on pins and needles for u is
well known that Secretary Lincoln is not
el-disposed toward Gen. Hazen, and that
q court Of inquiry organized by him
would not be a whiteWashing affair. In
quily of the Secretary and ofGen. Drum,
however, showed that The rumor was at
least premature. Gen. Drum said he had
not been ordered to prepare such detail,
and was not certain that he would be. The
Secretary of War declines to say what he
had done or Wouid do IN the matter. inus
the whole matter is still left in suspense,
though the opinion is gaining strength
that q searching inquiry will be made by
military court into Gen. Hazen's mana
cement Of the Signal Office, and It's un-
derstood that tile matter Was discussed AZ
the Cabinet meeting this afternoon. Das-
t,ita fhaltulaqfpt ~, Iat4fet4 !. m f,r fsa, Trr,f4
to-day, there IL good authority for the
statement that ne has selected the officers
who will constitute the court of inquiry
Water saturated with Alum i recen
mended by The veteran scientist. N. Du-
mas, as sreedy and effeetual remedy foi
extinguishing fires. Tbs process vii
soon be quite alum node Boston Trans
erfpt.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
A Big Bonanza.

The PIONEER Press Co., have issued a
new and brilliant poster advertising The
PIONEER PRESS for the season of
1923. This paper is so well known and
appreciated as to hardly require our hearty
endorsement, but to those who may not
have seen it, if there are any such in this
county, we would say emphatically that it
is by far the best Weekly IL the West.
It's columns are full of well and care
fully selected matter, giving complete and
aeurate reports of the political, scientific
and business worlds. To some of its spe-
cial' Textures, such as 'FHints for the House
hold, ssWhat Women Want to Know, f"
The Farm, :" Commercial Review" etc.
we would call particular attention.
dec16d&w1m
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
FOR SALE.

me UNDERSIGNED offer for sale their
stock ranch and herd 81 ho ses near forf
Shaw. Montana. There il On me ranch
good house. barns, eorrals, etc, with sev-
eral miles Of fencing. The herd consists
Of about twelve hundred (l2OO) head OF
horses. stations, work horses, mares, colts,
etc. The stations are large valuable AMI
mails.
The above property will be sold cheap
for cash, or approved paper. This is a
rare opportunity for one wishing to engage
in the business. For particulars apply to
n. Sweetland, Fort Shaw, Montana, or to
O. J. Salisbury, Salt Lake City, Utah.
GILMER, SALISBURY & co.
nl2n-a &w If
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
Notice Of Sale at public Auc-
ton.

Notice is hereby given, thatin the matter OF the
estate Of Wm. W. Austin deceased, the under
signed administrator Of said e,tate WILL sell at
public auction,l he highest bidder for cash. and
subject TO a coEf rmation by the Probate Court Of
Chofeau County. M T, On Monday the 81 day Of
April A. d 1883 at u O'Clock M. OF the Court
House. RECORD building il Fort Benton, nj. T..
All the right title. interest and estate OF the sad
William w. Austin az the time Of his death. and
all the rig h title ana interest that the said estate
has by operation Of law or otherW4e. acquired
o.her than or in addition to that OF the said Will
liam W. Austin at the tsc OF his death, in and to
a thst certain lot, piece parcel of land situate
lying and being in the County ef Chotean, Ter
ritoryfof Montana, bounded and described as fol-
lows to-wit: Lot number two ~. section 3s.
township d n. Il. S east. and lot No z. section
"a, township a. \. range $, east-,he whole. com
psing T3 acres, more less. situate and lying on
the Missouri river near Fort Benton. NJ T.s
Terms and conditions of sale: c sh,. ten per
cent OF the purchase money to bepaid to the
aucfioneer on the day of sale, balance confirma-
ton OF sale by said Probate Court. Dsed at ex-
pense of purchaser.
Administrator OF estate of William W. Austin,
deceased.
Fort Benton, March 7th, 1888.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24

L. G. Baker s. CO. have on hand large
and well selected assortment Of samples
for gents clothing. AS I. G. Baker y Co.
lave al their clothing made by a reliable
house in St. Louis, perfect fit and per-
feet satisfaction is guaranteed. |. G. Baker.
s. Co. sold last year over l50 suits of cloth
ing, made to order, and in every case per-
feet satisfaction was given. Clothing
made 10 order from SIS up.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
Towhora 1t Way Concern.


Notice is hereby given that hereafter all
violations of the licence laws in the follow
ing particulars 70 wit: Each profession
II man before practicing a. such, all law
yers, &c. shall pay Iicence fsixteen dol
lars per annunl. Provtded that all per
sons who draw Any legal instruments,
deed, power ofattorney or other doeu-
aleats for which he charges fee shall he
considered professional man. Laws Is
Sessions 10 II l0 See. lSSnbdiyison 0gla,
witt ne rigol oaslg prosecuted.
EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE
Benton Bar Association,
Attest;
III. G.. MCINTYRE
Secretary.
/ Benton. Feb. as, 1882
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
NEWS FROM THE OLD
WORLD.
A steamer Sunk in the North sea
an1 aIxty-fve Lives Lost.
t,onftruatEgm OF Kayanagh7s Aesth-
mony fn the IFi~h Conspiracy
Trials A SocTaifs1ic meetins
Suppressed by the Police IN
Paris.

NJ
LONDON, Mafch ''-i l'e S'e"u Tt,,,
Varre, bound from copenhagen - go ~,
foundered i'll the gale ol ye''eio"y' i"N' :
were eighiy-ohe peIso''s' ''''o''' 1'''
on board, only S'A'o'" VI "",'.''
saved VI P'Sse''S.'"' 90 ''"N ,'''N,'"
ed to embark lof A'l'oi va " '''e >'.''
line, and thlFtY-three aatll'S anu .ei M
fants by tile State lii'e' Fo"1 '1"t0 e'Ii'-
grants, named AhaeiS0'1' - N'
gen, and n ManhaiI, were fesc''eo anu
landed at Hull l we o'n7' t''Sse "l'
on board D0tch h5"'''s S'l'lcN "Il'Fl S
las arrived Ill AA"'1' A'''7
the crew and ten passengers Nsfe ",eo'
The emigrant Nann''lA II oo'''''' Io' Ne"
York.
The survivors give the lonoMlns Sc-
count Of the loss OF 'ne steamer va "es-
day, when 2oO m'leS ii",'' 0''' %
the Navarro WAS SIt0cA oy =" '','S 0I"'
The cargo shifted anu Oh " ',.''s'"S ','e
forehold filed. " he' 'L'G ''s''"S "''''''n'
before mentioned, appFoacheo TIC Navarro
ten men tooksl boat anu Doafoeu sC'lS
smack, letting their small Ooat go aoFl-''
The smack sailed around 'he S'''NinS
steamer, but, having no boat was o''"ole
to render her assistance. The emlgfahts'
In the meantime, were clinGing 70 the FiS-
ging, the sea washing over Them LII I"
short time another smack arrived Oh the
scene. Fifteen Of the Navarro men en-
deayored to reach herin another boat, but
it sWamped, and all its occupants were
drowned A steamer arrived Only IN tune
to rescue si>, persons who were struggling
in tl.u u.s!yr as the Navarro was founder
ing.
Miss Alexandria Hotz, and a SWede,
who was bound for Minnesota, and who
lost his wife and tour children, nave aiSo
arrive" 1T nun - II ''''',''' - " I>a
.lo" "7T'''' ''''''T''''7
hoLh' .-.....->e -,
M"li'"i'' "ho' ''L '''lSe~ ''''' '0a' y. W
nour' was c'''ls''s 10 " p''oo " ''',,o
sI"'es ''l"I me -'"'' ''i0 pump f, s,'.I11
49,, H,,',Y ,,'.l ~ ~ -, ,a~a,, os ,hov conId The
N.,,..st,,'.aa~,a,I .t,,noGo1 14a was .hprt
or vnasdav and from that time until the
vessel sank drank TO keen I'D his spirits.
The nasscnupr AGENTS Of the State and
Anchor lines OF steamships said at their
offices Yesterday thar nothing is known Of
tho Ioas ar thn steamer Navarro. and that
-, a.. ,-,.--,,cr,,,p arn NAT
known. ''The names will probably never
be known" it was said at each office, be
cause the list which we receive are mace
upaC CI"SGo" ana Seht ny a'lotLel i'iie'
80 thTt we receive IheNl IL 10" way ~ ".'
vance OF the arflVai Oh our Steamships =
New ork. 1hefeioTe' Il tlle haii9s ~
ever known hefe' IL VIII lio1 9e '''''''zs' = -
EIGHT DAGGER KNIVES FOUND.
DUBLIN. March 9.-Efght dagger knives
have been found in the RiDgsend Basin. |
Kayanach testified that the knives were
thrown there after the Phmalx Park as
.,,-r;,..;o,, ,l;l;ro,,+ 7norch has hnpr1
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24

On and after March 5th Mr.. D. c. Bo-
thine will cease to act as onr agent. Mr.
Theodore Fuhrken Will hereafter be oul
authorized agent.
KLEINSCHMIDT & BRO.
Fort Benton, NJ. T., March Goth, 1888.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
AarCHiFEC S, TAKE NOTICE.

Architects ere requested TO corresnond with the
undersigned, win the view of FURNISHING p ans
and sreciicatians. and superintend the construc-
tinn Of High School at Fort Benton during the
com sng season 1T a cost not to exceed Twenty
or Twenty-Five Thousand Dollars
GEO W.CRANE,
Clerk Of Board OF Trustees, Dist No. 4.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
Ar,raCN4p RX HGR SERVANT.
a t5er5Esam domestic Trying 10 EAEii
Escr N2Esty ess with "a Ratchet.

PHILADELPHIA, March "a German
servant, named Catherine Metzgar, III tie
employ Of Samuel May at 2,02l North
Ninth street, made an attempt this morn
ing to murder her mistress, Mrs. Lizzie
Nav, and the latter's child The servant
cot up in the middle of the night, went to
the cellar and procured hatchet, which
she hid under the bed. At 80 this morn
ing she arose and seized her mistress by
the hair rs she lay sleeping in bed, and
beat her on the head with the blunt end OF
the hatchct Mrs. MAY Wrenchad the
hatchet from. Catherine's hand. The girl
then seized a bottle of bay rum which
stood on the bureau and flung it al Mrs
MAY. The missile missed its MARI ahd
struck All infant son, Edward, who was
asleep ill the Grip, breaking in his skhil.
The struggle between the two women was
then resumed, and ended by Mrs. May
throwing the servant out OF the room and
locking the door. Her cries brought the
police. The girl then went to the bath
room, washed The OIood from t'le tidt1he'
and laid down i'll bed, where the police
found her. Mrs. May is q young woman,
and has been married about two years.
The girl who came here from Germany
three months ago, had been week only in
the employ of the May family. She is on
ly eighteen years old. 1t is thought that
the girl is insane, as she claims that she
was directed by some unseen power in
dream to murder the mother and babe.
She has been committed TO await the result
of the injuries inflicted upon her victims.
Mrs. May may recover, but the infant will
die.
An Iowa farmer bet 4 new hat that he
could cross the railroad track with bis
team before the train came mp. lie lost
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
The Dramatic and Musical Event Of
the Season!
Tickets for sale March q
EsrSeix Eeuse TO Let.

A new three-room brick building, just
completed, will be rented cheap to desir-
able tenants. For further information ap-
ply to
BUCK 4 HUNT,
Agents for Building Association.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
NOTICE E.
Tn Whom Ii MAY COrC

To " nom II May GOuCefM.
The judith Cattle Company will COM
mence driving in their cattle on or about
the 10th of March.
HENRY p. BROOKS, Supt'.
JOHN w. COLLINS, Foreman.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
Will be presented the musical travesty
Romeo : Juliet

This Ian ghahe burlesque Of Shakes
peares we'll known drama has been in re-
hearsal several weeks by the best amateur
talent of Benton. No pains or expense
have been spared TO render the entertain-
ment bhe most pleasing ever witnessed by
a Benton audience.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
House 10 ne emit.

Dwelling House to rent on NJ ain street. Amply
oct3d1w 10 BUCK HUNT.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24

An Iowa farmer bet 4 new hat that he
could cross the railroad track with bis
team before the train came up. He lost
IN ten feet. The distance was measured
INV his heirs.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
FOR R ZEN u.

The lower room Of Odd Fellows Hall on
Main street. Dimensions 3OS8O, with
basement 5 feet high. Terms reasonable.
Apply to
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
FDEg SALE E,

Tie dwelling house Oh st. John stseet
d rear Of Lilly g Co.'s saloon. Apply to
DONNELLY & EASTMAN
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
a strnng Cast! Full ChOruses?
Elaborate Costumes Fine Scenic
Effectsy

The travesty has always been received
with enthusiastic applause wherever pre-
sentetI and tile management can assure the
public that 1t will be-
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
HORSES TAKEN UP.

Taken from Pegan Indians, one small hay
horse branded on right hip, been shod. One
large white horse branded w on left hip, not
been shod or some time. The owner can have
ho ses by applying to Sheriff Healy and paying
charges.
ov If
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24
Cl.Sy,tf

JAMES MCDEyTTT,
EWtf Fort Benton, NJ. I.
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24

eb5d2W4w
The Benton weekly record., 1883-03-24

This old and always popular Restaurant will be
re-opened tomorrow or next dav under the
personal supervision of Mrs. Murray, and no
pains or expense will be spared TO give entire sat-
isfaetion TO customers.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-06-06
The Illinois Democratic Convention.

CHICAGO, June 5.-There is a large attend
ance for the Democratic State convention
meeting tomorrow. The attendance will be
the largest in the history of the party in the
State. There are active contests
on the nomination for Governor
and Supreme Judge. B. ]. Hall
and c.. A Clarke premptorily decline to be
candidates for Governor. 1t is admitted that
either would be nominated if he
would allow it. The friends of
L. ]. Kline and Colonel W. H.
Merritt are working hardest, with the Kline
men very confident of success; but Burton,
the only opposing candidate, has apparently
much strength to-day. and tonight there is
Senator Merritt, of Clinton, for Governor,
and to defeat Hayes. Merritt and Hayes are
from the same county, but the truth clearly
y st the convention is at sea as to both
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1883-06-06

Interview with Bishop Ryan, of Buffalo.
"What do you know of the alleged sum-
moning to Rome of American archbishops
% receive Papal instructions, and make re-
pots regarding politics and the Irish agita-
tlom N this country" was asked.
Inc Bishop answered: 'There may be a
summons % report on church work, but l am
sure America politics will not be formally
discussed. In d missionary land like this
Papai Instructions are looked for, aud are &C.
ceptable as regards church affairs, but pol
itlcs ore not a subject for either reports or
instructions. | doubt this report however,
as also the one that a plenary council is to
be held in the United States next year; pro-
vincial councils are sufficient. The tax of
disciplining the Catholic clergy is nonfas e.
The bonds are tight enough, and the relation
ship is satisfactory on both sides. 1t has mot
been altered by recent events. The clergy
are not interfered with in the encourage.
ment they have chosen to give the Land
Leagues %peaceable agitation in behalf OF
Irish liberty"