The Arizona sentinel., 1883-05-19
Mr. Sassafras has a Joke at his
 Own Expense.

expostulated MT. Sassafras, as he and his bride sat at lunch, "that sausage of yours seems to be Oi the endless variety. If you'll tell me how many more fathoms of it you can conscientiously get away with, I will take sOundings as to how we are going to catch the 12:30 Oakland boat with"u. getting to it by telephone"
 Claw sakes," exclaimed Mrs. S., pushing her plate away re- gretfully, chow cross you are, Silas. It's only funeral, any how. It won't be anything like the picnic we went to at Fairfax last week, will it? We nearly got into jail then, you know"
 "Amanda." replied Mir. Sassa- fras solemnly, II thought the Fairfax picnic was bygOne-let- bygOned. I beg to inform you, Madame, that I have been invit- ed by d very stylish San Francis co friend to accompany him to this funeral, which, ,"-here MT. SaSsafra-' eye fortunately lighted on an undertaker's advertisement in the morning paper-'which we can assure our patrons will be conducted on the most fashiOna- ble and decorOus principles"
 "Whuse patrons"" inquired Mrs. S., in her innocence.
 "Never you mind," retorted Silas savagely. "are you going to weep over the 'hic jacet in me. moriam nil nisi bone 'em.' or noi?"
 "For the lands sake! Silss, your language is beautiful. You will break Butte County all up when we get back. Weep over a great sorrow such as you have just mentioned? Well. should think I would"
 They reached the ferry-land- ing about twenty minutes ahead of time; but Silas told his wife that he did that purpOsely to please her, it heinz the whlm of all women to catch the boat next proceeding that which they are going to travel by. He thought this was very funny, but he ceas' ed to smile over the joke when the five-minute bell rang, ana his mourning friend had nut yet made hIs appearance in the wait ing room.
 "I don't think he's coming al all," said Mrs. Sassafras sadly; "and do you know. Sllss, dear, that sausage you tore me from was awfunly nice"
 "Damn the sausagen snapped Mir. s. (and this was the very first time he had really sworn during the honeymoon), "you ate the tail, body and head, any how, and the rest of the other yard of the skin was only blOWt out by the expiring bark Of the animal, if you had but a-knuW it. But he will come, 1 know Int will; Cause he's goin' tU bring : wreath as cost ten dollars or mOr. to place reverently upon the sit transit gloria mundi in hoe signC vinces hinc file lacrim@, etce tera."
 "GlOrious Jeraboam!" ejacula ted poor Mrs. S., summOnin, forth her widest oath frOIn tin, depths of the family bible, "yo, must run for Congress- the mom ent you get back to Butte, SiIas. At the moment the last bell rang and the doors We're closed. "Say, Silas," whispered Airs S., slyly glancing at her scowIn spouse out of the tail of her eye "maybe it's q lady mourne you're waiting for. They alway try to be in time for the boat mex before that they want to go by you know"
 "Hr'll be elong. Wait till mex boat" replled Mir. S,ssafras, gruff1y ignoring the insinuatiO
 So certain, indeed, Was NJ. Sa. safras that his friend would nc go back on him that they bOarde the next boat as soon as the door
 We're onpued. and from a Suu,