The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1883-07-26
ALL SORTS.

Don't be in hurry about making your
will; such an act is always dead give
away.
If Jay Gould leaves Wall street will it
be because he hasn't room for it in his
yacht.
In recent speech the Prince of Wales
said London had now about 5000, 600
inhabitants.
Not all kings have palaces to live in.
The King of Coomassie, for instance
lives in Ashamtee.
Gear Romanoff is more popular in New
England than in Russia. His name
sounds so much like rum enough"
isis, give me lively subject for my
sister Martha quietly replied, "Fleas."
A Michigan woman described her alb
sconding husband as of "fried- pork"
complexion. The detective exultiugly
made note of it.
We are told that the fool and his
money were soon parted; but the fool
must have had money to be parted from.
Score one for the fool.
Up country, at one of the crossroads,
stands sign post which says: "Ani-
mails unaccompanied are not allo we'd to
pass over this road"
1t is strange that so many persons are
killed by tornadoes,ye the man who il
daily blown up by his wife manages to
live through it all.
"Is it o crime to be a woman?" asks
Mrs. Blake. No, we think not, if she
sincerely repents, asks to be forgiven,
nd y,rOpri of IN 1,o onoir
"Mr. Isaacs, can you tole me yere vas
the first diamond?" "No, Mr.. Yawcobs.
We're vas it?" ''Vy, Noah's son on der
ark. He vas Shem of the fust water"
Mr.. VIM. Doodle-"Yes, Miss Frost. I
always wear gloves at night; they make
ones hands SO soft. Miss Frost-"Ah!
and do you also sleep with you hat
on?"
Investigator" wants to know what is
good for cabbage worms. Bless your
heart, man, cabbages, of course. A good
plump cabbage viii last several worms q
week.
Governor Buffers son Paul, says the
Boston Saturday Evening Gazette. 10
making q tour of England on Q double
bicycle with Mr.. Willis Harrington, Of
Lowell.
A Mission-street groceryman is now
fighting off divorce case, because, dur
ing rush of business, the other day, he
used his wlfe's new bonnet for o sugar
scoop.
do you see that young man going
along there?" Eyes, what of it?" Hes
got girl on the brain" "Ah, judging
from his appearance the girl must have .
soft sit"
LET us pursue the subject little far
Their said the medical students at the bed
side of dying..pstient. So tue next night
they went and stole the body from the
cemetery.
dead broke, eh?" queried a Boston
man of q seedy looking individual whom
he saw passing into shop adorned with
three golden balls. NO" was the curt
reply; "pawn-broke."
"Can you change q $40 gold piece?" he
asked, as he gently placed the empty
glass on the courter. Yes" said the
bartender. well, I will 60 out and
see if l can find one."
Manhattan island contains about IL, 600
acres, OF which $500 are covered with
houses, 1000 are in parks, and 5000 are
still unoccupied. In the last ten years
1000 have been built up.
In the senatorial election in Colorado
the devil got one vote. There il evil
IDENTIFY one man in the state who thinks
the standard of its congressional repre-
seutation ought to be raised.
ut WAS "Darling George" when .
bridal couple left Omaha; it WAS Dear
George" at Chicago; at Detroit it was
"George;" and when they reached Nj
agara Falls il was ''Say. you"
New Mexico's wool production last
year amounted to 10000, goo pounds.
There are upward of II .00O, 900 sheep in
the territory and the clip this year is not 4
expected to be short Of $4,000 900 '
pounds.
Said student OF one college to friend
who was attending q rival institution:
"Your college never turns out gentle
men," mo-" Was the reply, ''our COL.
lege allows gentlemen to 60 right on and
graduate"