The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-12-28
AUNT BETHIA.

AUNT BETHIA.
1t may be that our old-fashioned auns
needs no introduction. Perhaps you
have met her in the city at some recent
art exhibition, or picture sale, where
she set among the crowd, little be-
wildered, but sufficiently alert, listening
Z 20 the glib chatter of the critics as they
discussed the merits of some thousand
dollars landscape.
The same being, as she declared to
ne friend accompanying her. "only a
picter of what anybody can see for
nothin' up to Craney Holler," where
she lives. "Why," said she, regarding
the great work of art with one eye
severely shut up, "jest 60 to our back
door of summer morning and stand
and look. and there you have it, for all
the world!
1.-THE same smooth, green medders,
with the pretty brooks windin' through
Sem, and on both sides, to the right and
left, the pastur' lands where the cattle
are fed. so peaceful and contented; then,
way off in the distance, them sollem-
1ookin' mountains, with the shadders
creepin' round 'em, or restin' on their
tops; and all the time the sun shines
bright and pleasant down below in the
valley.
81 do declare, could Almost believe
the man stood in our back door when
he painted that picter!
alt is han some view and no mis-
take; but don't it seem a pity to spend
so much money Jest for picter, when
you could buy small farm-a Hve pic
ter, as it were-for thousand dollarsw
She sees much in our city to disap-
prove. Most of the so-called modern
improvements are denominations to Aunt
Bethia.
The electric light finds no favor in
her eyes.
How must our Maker look on 't?"
she asks. Indignantly.
lit wouldn't be so bad If they only
used it as they do gas. or kerosene lie;
but when they come to light up all out
doors with it. and make it take the
place o the heavenly bodies-that 8
what call impious! nothin' more nor
less than tryin' to Guido the Creatori
when the moon and stars don't
shine, let folks walk in the dark, or else
carry lantern! says she, whimsically.
The telephone she regards as an in
fernal machine, and insists that there is
something supernatural about it.
She has never been prevailed upon to
use it once.
II won't have anything to do with it
in any way nor SHAPED" says she. jest
as if any human invention could do what
that thing does!"
n Oh oil l-oo,,- n 1oro
from it, as if it were liable to "go off "
at any moment or play some diabolical
trick upon her.
She does not approve of the "Quincv
Method - in our schools, and much pre-
fers TO have the children learn their les
8 .soDs from Their books and recite them
standing In nice straight line, with
their toes 10 crack in the floor She
would ike more prominence given to
order and to the Ten Commandments:
and she sadly misses the dinner-bas-
kets and tie WATERFALL and tin dipper
She does not like the new version of
the Scriptures: her mothers Bible is
good CROUCH for her; and she takes no
interest in the great controversy, except
TO mourn that there should be such
wicked and disorderly gcings-on in the
world.
She went to see the opera of "Pa-
tience," and her womanly soul was
shocked beyond repair at the conduct
OF the loye-sick maidens; she felt per-
sonally humiliated and disgraced. and
sat there with burning cheeks, not dar-
ing to go, and too indignant to stay and
see it through.
Words were thrown away upon her.
-.All the words in the English Ian
guage," she declared to us. "couldn't
excuse or explain away such a
shameful exhibit:on-such immodest
behavior on the part of them young
girls. The trollopesi" said she, angri-
ly, ''where in the world were their
mothers? Poor things, though" she
added, as an afterthought, .'perhaps
they hadn't any mothers; L can't be-
lieve they had
Estheticism and the Renaissance, as
she understands them, are only delu-
sions of the adversary, invented to ruin
weak and idle souls who loiter in the
by-paths of life, and she believes the
only salvation for such is to go to toork.
'tLet EN- DO something practical"
she will say. 'If they're so main
fond o sunflowers let 'em go to raisin'
7em by the cart-loadi They're excel
lent chicken fodder, as everybody
knows. did see whole acre on 'em
once all CROWN together; they was in
EuH blow, and looked Gurus enough
with their big round faces turned toward
the SUM- Oscar Wilde says, you know,
that they resemble a lion; aud they do
look about as wise and KNOWN"
There's nothin' like work for keep
in girls out of mischief" she is fond.o'
saying
when our girls leave school let 'em
take right hold aud help their mothers
with the homework and the plain sew
in and takin' care of the baby. and
then they won't be hankerin' to paint
pots snd jars or to embroider sage
green curtains and table-cloths. Though
why that color is called sage-green
can't imaginei it certainly amt the