The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-02-10
The Paragraph Fiend.

Invariably shown up-Banncrs.
A beautiful iing-The family circle.
Always open 10 conviction-The penl
Tertiary.
Sle,ght OF hand Refusing M offer o
marriage.
The cheapest way 10 purchase coal buy
the yard,
Whenever dentist takes the stump h,
draw, we'll.
A tie vote--When TWO people agree t,
get married. Boston star.
In Siam the people worship the ele
plant. In this country they only want &c
see him.-Nec Orleans Picayune.
"Why are those things on your dress
called bugle Trimmings" George wanted
to know. oh" Emily replied, lightly
"because pa blows 80 over the hill"
Some idea of the size of Queen Veto.
iria's carriage can be formed from the re
port thai at recent review 1t took the
! British troops forty minutes TO pass il. .
An exchange sNys that Col \ fred Bclo
left Salem, \. G., at the END OF the war
with only so iii his pockel He rode on
horseback to Texas, where he IS now the
editor Of the Galveston Meas. How Col.
Bco has managed TO live fifteen years on
SIC is not explained.
The Chaplain of thc New Jersey House
said in prayer the other morning: May
these Assemblymcn 80 act az so escape the
necessity of explaining to an inquis,ive
constituency how, leaving home poor, on
the meagcr salary of $500, they return
rich"
Some years ago Patrick Gleason aban-
doned ms wife and son IN Indiana. The
son, then Is, was fortnight ago recon.
mitted to the Jacksonville Jail for larceny.
On his way to u workshop he passed
through line Of convicts; one OF them
was his father, The Gleason family seems
to De fixed for the winter.
Oliver Henderson, of CovingtoD, Ga, in.
forms local paper that he had drove of
little chickens that took up with covey
Of partrdpes, and have renamed with
them Tor three months. When the birds
are flushed the chickens lily with them,
aad hide out III the straw and bushes the !,
same way that The partridgcs do. As OH
yer ~ II truthful man, afidayiis arc
waived.
Senator David DAVIS is sad to bc very
much dlsp'eased with the determination !
OF the Senate 70 ii, daily until 2. NJ, as
he likes to dine II, 4. Senator Ben Wade,
when he was President pro tenn. Of the
Senate, was equally anxious tor an early
One day, when Senator
Garrett Davis was making long speech,
MIR. Wade sat quiet until it was 4 o'clock,
when he said viii the Senator from Ken.
lucky suspend his remarks for the intro.
iuction of a motlonv' "Certainly," SAID
MIR. Davis. 1.-THE Senator from Ohio, "s said !
Mr.. Wade, "moves that the Senate do now
adjourn. Senators. those IN favor say aye,
hose opposed no! The motion Is carried,
Ind the Senate stands adjourned until to.
morrow at II O'clock. AZ Mr.. Wade was
he only Senator from Ohio in the cham
'er, or even In the Senate at that time, his
'oolncss III putting his own motion and de.
:larlng it carried was much admired.
Illinois has a poet at last He blossomed
ut under the benign influence OF the latest
blizzard, and Quincy Is his hsbitation.
HIS name, Is real or assumed, is hob Lam.
'ert, and his gentle muse sweetly chlrps ,
IN the Terror. OF the Mountain and the Hor.
ofthe. Plain!
Pun the Painted. Piebald. Pelican, YOU bet!
IN the Scavepger. Of Dead. Mems. Bones, the '
turnover Of Brain, IL
The Dainty Dusky Darling of our set" l
IN the Holy. Haunted Hideous. Hunted He'll. $
bound Hated Hound
I'm a Killer. When Not Run. to. Earth. but q
when y
IN larry surely, square'y land tha's rarely 7
run TO ground, g
I'm always the most innocent OF mcn
IN the Glory Ghost-ef. COLLINS, Pm .he Gal d
lows Guest Galore, q
am the Busted Blowing. Bellows. Without. a
Bail, -
We an album filled with Top-knots, and :,
count them by the 7cOre--
I'm the Very Vicious Nsgrsnt of the Vale. u