The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1883-09-12
The Pastoral GimIet.


home for week. During his absence
the son of a member who lived several
miles out of town died. He did not hear
of the young mans death until he re-
turned. Then he was taken sick, and it
was ten or twelve days before he could
safely drive out and visit his afflicted
parishioner. The first words which
greeted his ears were "Well, / thought
you'd forgotten u.s." And then the good
woman sat complacently down to be con-
soled. That is what | mean by the pas
toral gimlet; and it is astonishing how
proficient certain church members become
in its use. The delcacy in insinuating,
the dizziness and grace in twistings can
only have been acquired by assiduous
practice. They know where it will go in
most easily; just how many turns to give
it before it gets down to the quick. There
are various scientific twists of the gimlet
known to adopts and to victims. There
is the sarcastic twist. Hostess enters the
parlor and greets the pastor thus: Good
morning, DR.. A. really the sight of you is
refreshing. Have you found out at last
where we live ?" There is the business
twist: "Do you know that you haven't
been inside our house for six months p"
Parsons, as we'll as mathematicians, are
painfully aware that figures can't lie; so
that this twist is peculiarly effective
one, usually transfxing the victim, and
reducing him at once to a condition of
silent helplessness. Then there is the re-
proachful twist, also very effective ire
menduously SO if the twister can manage
to start silent tear " Really, we be.
gan to doubt whether we had any PASTOR"
And once in awhile we were treated To
the spiteful twist, in administering which
the operator, or more commonly the oper-
atrix, is at no pains to conceal her fell in
tent, but drives the unoiled gimlet in with
a steady hand; or, in other words, gives
the parson quite sharp " sitting down I"
on his shortcomings. The men who vince
under this instrument are the conscientious
pastors who are forever haunted by the
vague sense of work in arrears, and con-
stantly tormented with selt.reproach be-
cause they do not bring it up. The GIN
let is terrible thing to such an one. He
knows the gimlet house as well as doctor
knows where smallpox is. He braces
himself to visit them once or twice year.
He says, loosely, to friend at the gate
know there is rod in pickle for me
here" He sits down to his work very
much as if he were going to have a tooth
filled, meets the twist of the gimlet with
out betraying his inward writings, kneels
down and prays with the gimlet-twisters,
and rises to his feet to meet parting
thrust, as thus "Now that you've found
the way here hope we shall see you
often" And as he goes down the steps
he looks into his book, and seeing that
house he says to himself "Not to-day !;
one day is all 1 can stand" You cheer
full, sunny, sympathetic souls, God bless
you, who perhaps excite the jealousy of
your neighbors because the minister
drops in " at your houses so much Of
tener than theirs, does it never occur to
you that he comes almost as much for his
own sake as for yours, because he knows
you always have oil and wine in your
casks for the wounds of the gimlet
Now, ye gimlet-twisters, we pastor-perfora-
tors, lift up your voice and answer, what
do you want pastoral visit for Do
you want to talk with your pastor about
your temptations and trials Do you
want instruction on some question of
Christian experience Do you want
to discuss some scheme of Christian
enterprise Not you No lawyer is
more adroit in turning the conversation
the moment it takes any such direction
Let the pastor take up the gimlet in his
turn, and probe your heart, and lay bare
your poor, starved, stunted religious life !;
let him then tax you vigorously with your
absence from prayer-meetings or Sunday
worship, and you will not complain of the
scarcity of pastoral visits. The truth is,
you do not desire counsel nor comfort nor
Christian communion, but attention.
Your pastors absence wounds your pride.
You care little about his doing the work
he was especially called to do for you, but
you are vexed because he does not con.
cede more for your Importance. You are
not thirsting for living water, but for the
tacit tlattery of attention, thus seeking to
convert the messenger whom Christ sends
with living bread to your home and heart
into a minister to your vanity. The peo-
pie whose hands are idle, whose purses
are shut, whose voices are against every
enterprise which involves sacrifices and
labor are people who are masters of the
gimlet.-Dr. Vincent.