The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1883-12-21
SOCIETY TALK,
The Art or Entertaining Acceptably,
and What it REQUIRES.

| and What it Requires,
To entertain others acceptably and
successfully, demands attention to vari-
GUS things. Among them may be emu.
merated voice, manners, tact accomplish.
ments, imagination, individuality, po
liteness, education, wit, brevity, repair
tee, ethics of dress, and the art of con-
versation. Edward Everett Hale saws:
There is no particular method about
talking, or talking we'll. 1t is one-of the
thin s in life which does ITSELF and if
one fails in talking it is because they
la2ve not yet applied the simple master
rules of life. Tell the truth CONFESS
ignorance and talk TO the person who
| is talking to you.'" These rules of that
popular author may be thus briefly en-
larged upon. We should never pretend
interest in that for which we have no
love, or of which we have no knowledge,
10 illustrate: persons who have no ap-
precation of music or art only belittle
themselves, and battle and weary their
companions, who may be musicians
or artists, by their ignorant preteuse.
We cannot assume to know those
things OF which we are really ignorant;
Tor the disguise is always too thin mask
to conceal our mental capabilities. The
diiie ence between those who pretend
and those who are true, in society, is the
difference between those people whom
Thackeray calls snobs, and those who
are in reality ladies and gentlemen. In
polite society, outside of the family cir
Gle, we sho lid always avoid references
to our own affairs, such rs domestic ex-
periences and sick-room recitals, unless
particularly questioned by intimate
friends, on account of peculiar interests
in our person i welfare. author saws,
mo good talker is obtrusive, thrusting
forward his observations on men and
things. He is rather receptive, trying
to get at other peoples observations.
There are unsounded depths in mans
II sture, of which he him.elfknows moth
ing till they. are revealed 10 hin by the
piash and ripple of his own CONVERSE
ton with other men," Applying this
principle to the art OF fenterlaining, leads
us to the following conclusions:
When conversing with those who
have more knowledge than our
selves upon the subject under discus
sion, we should never presume to know;
thus the law of polite manners would
dictate that we should never allow our
eyes to wander over the dress of our
companion, as though intent upon the
fashion thereof, nor aimlessly 10 cast
our glances ilst'ess!y around the room,
as though bored; nor in large gather
ing, listen to the conversation around
us, instead of paying undivided and re-
spectful attention to our particular COM
panion or partner. Not even The tam
GUS Coleridge himself could converse
with brilliancv or effect the respect OF
responsive and intelligent glances ofrec-
ognition, admiration, or interest. A
forceful and magnetic manner lies in the
happy mean between an air of indiffer-
ence ond being to holdly torth-putting
another rule of good conversation may
be thus stated: "Never undervalue
your interlocutor." This does not in
tertere with the equally important rule
of adapting our conversation to the sup
posed knowledge and capability of the
person we are addressing. Perfect tact
has the rare intuition of determining
quickly and sensitivey what
subjects would naturally interest per-
sons of certain pursuits, taste, reputa-
ton, or social standing. If the person
introduced to US has already made re-
putation that places them above the
general level we should wait their choice
Of subjects, thereby giving them the op-
rorinnitv of showing courtesy by polite
~ acknowledging our literary qualifica-
tons by the drift of their conversation
with us. Should it devolve upon us,
however, to select the subject, the most
courteous tact would dictai that We al
lude o such Incidents or make such
modest inquiries ssshould delicately, and
without fuisome tia,tery, refer to their
acknowledged attainments, unusual sue
cess, or peculiar accomplishments. If
We are ignorant of the particular branch
es in which they are proficient, we
should compliment them by attentive
listening and refined and cultured ques-
tioning. denoting our taste for inforu,a-
ton. IF our tastes run in the same d.
rection, we ST ouid modestly express our
ideas, if clear-cut and we'll founded upon
experience or close observation, or in
te,Iigent study.
The art OF entertaining acceptably re-
qnries ease of manner and agreeable
infections of voice. "Manner is every
thing with some people, and something
with everybody" said bishop Middle
| ton; and ease Of manner can only be-
come babitual by acquiring grace fulness
aud naturalness of pose, and then re-
nemherlng that others are probably to.
| tally Indifferent to where we are stand
ing, or what we are doing, being alb
| sort,ed in their own individual interests.
| Lady Waldegrave was said to possess i'll
! perfection. Part dc tenir salon." She
| was never afraid to bow first, to call
| first, to speak hrst. She knew the value
| pf courtesy. In England, it is said
| people are never introduced at a din
| ner; every one speaks to his next neigh
| 'or, or the person opposite, without IN
PRODUCTION and with delightful courtesy,
| but in America the restraint is sncn that
Two ladies will meet, gaze at each other
rs if they belonged to hostile tribes OF
! Indians, desiring only each others
scalp, because, torsooth, they have not
been introduced. The best rule seems
| 10 be that the house wherein ladies
meet rs invited guests should he suf-
icient Introduction to exchange the
common olaces of courtesy, even though
they should nsver meet again. Were
the customs of introduction more liter
al in America, perhaps her society
would display more evidences of ease OF
| manners.
| In regard to the voice, | will quote
from the american Code of Manners
American women talk and laugh toe
loud. They.are seldom taught to speak
with clear, antinisai voice. There IL
not enough attention given to elocutloI
,s applied to ortiinary conversation, and
reading aloud, that beautiful art 30 much
neglected. Tie English are far aheat
ot us in this accomplishment, OF a pleas
ing speaking voice and refined inton
alton. An + glish parlor maid will say
Might offer you chairY' Is, voice
which many New York ladies might
envy. Whether it is our climate ant
the many severe colds which our ances
,nrs must have taken on plymouth
Rock. and which effrctually ruined tht
larvnx cf their descendants, it is certail
that THE bronchial membrane and thu
arynx do not respond as well IN thi
country as in England. ~