Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-12-13
How a Dragging Match was Conducted
Between two Old Men.

Between two Old Men.
Some DAYS since, says the Blooming
ton Bulletin, the reporter was in the
lobby of one of the hotels of this city,
when he overheard u conversation
which he determined to give to the
public the first time local news became
so slack as to force him to draw upon
his imagination little to fill up the
space allotted to him. The two gray
haired disciples of Eli Perkins who were
managing the exhibition were from
different parts of the country, and
one of them was a regular down-east
Yankee, while the other was a German.
The conversational powers Of the two
old sinners were brought into play by
= fight between two boys on the side
wa.
''Ven l vas a poy,' said the German,
1 Wiped fife or ten poys vat vas two
tree dimes pigger den l vas, till der
little rascals squeel like der duyfel vas
sthirrin 'em oop nit his boxer. Dem
lectle pOOgers vas always puIlin' mine
hair ind smackin' me NIT der face und
| Yos git so tam mat | gould sthand
dere foolin' no longer some more, so
ron tay ! dold mine pig brutter dot |
vas leek dose pecz-Wa0S out nit dose
leedlc rascals de ferry first dime dey
90 NIT dot monkey peesness NIT mine
hair NcXd tay dem poys pull mine
hair 4 lccdlc more und / yust Ieeft oop
mine hind foot und gick der bants clean
of dot biggest poy und sthOOd him on
ees bet in der CORNER vile ] schmack der
udder poys nit der goat tail under, so, "
10 Il III
in the ribs with his clcnched fist.
by darnn' exclaimed he Of the east
as he caught his breath. That story
minds me how | used to knock the
applesass out o Bill Marker, down in
Yarmouth Bill as mighty hard
chap to peg, now, [ tell we, an he
used to thump us little fellers around
jest as he darned pleased, till got mad
one day and went into his hide like q
bull into straw stack. The fust lick
| hit i'm felt just like that jolt yer
planted oy,r my breather just now
BY gum! hit i'm so darned hard that
| run agin' his fist an fell over back
ards. Then | never let up till our eyes
was blacker an two hats like yOur'n,
and when | went home from school,
mann thought the kyars had run over
me. | tell ye! | give i'm the con
foundedest drubbin' he ever got"
Dat vas VERY goot mine frient. Dit
you ever vip nobody ven you vas pig
like now?"
Yes stree! | was galIawhackin'
around in Californy in 40, an the
hardest crowd that | ever struck cot
on q tear one night, ut Sacramento, an
TItr, mo two ,ln.l-, r,a1+ thu o4oto FC,,, 7
Gin TO cit mad | turned round. and
when the first un was bout eight feet
from me | whaled away with my left
foot and kicked his upper jaw clean
off
Goodness gracious, how awful long
dot keek vast
YES, sir, an when great big fellow
with bowie knife about two feet long
was reachin' for my bread basket, let
drive with my right fist and knocked
him clean through the side o that ar
state house, an the last | heard O. him
he was pickin the sandstone out O his
eyes with a scoop shovel
Mine Colt in himmel! How hart
you must hit"
Yes, sir. hit buffalo right be-
tween his peppers once, and my fist
went clear through him.
''Ish dot so, mine frient?''
Yes, sir And l took hold = that ar
butfalo's tail and wiggled it for him
two OF three times an he died. | had
hit i'm SO blasted hard he couldn't wig
gle it and die himself, SO | had to help
i'm =
''Py Shimminy! Say mine frient, Wy
didn't you keep holding on nit dot
tail?'
'Why, what dye want me to stand
thar on the plains for and hold to that
ar bulls tail for an let the coyotes eat
me up"
IVY. eef you hold or NIT dot tail,
somepody mighd COON Ply unit pellet
i'm. But you let i'm so, unit now dot
tail ees Won tam lie