davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-31

The sailors of Cunard steamer al
New York were very much disturbed re-
Gently, when they found that the "Moun.
tain Evangelist" Barnes was on board
and was to sail in the vessel. "We'll
ave nothin' but bad weather from dock
TO DOCK" said one of them. "As sures
a parsons aboard, whether he's the Dean
of Westminster or the false prophet, we
are pitchin' and tumblin' and ave hall
sorts of trouble ~ Y Herald,
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-31

AT german q Memphis six doves
were placed in each of the six large
centre cakes, and when the cakes were
cut the birds flew out and perched on
the window cornices and mantels.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-31

THr average boy, when sent on an GRAND
deyelopes wonder. I'll staying qualities"
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-31

COUGHS Use "Brosca's Bronchial 7roeh
Is. They possess real merit. Sod only IN boxes
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-31

A BALTIMORE teautyis mentioned as Hthis
priceless gem in the matrimonial department
Of iife.n
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-31

CSC. buys pair Of Lyons Patent Heel stifen-
CTS and make a boot or shoe last twice AZ long
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-31

A GOOD deacon IN one Of our suburbs Is 50
much opposed to gambling that he refuses to
shake off his lethargy .-Boston Transcript
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-31

Ktxp woris are like bald heads; they ca
never dye.--N. 0. Pteay5t1ts.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-31

ffa1e's Honey of Horehound and Tar
VIII stop o Wheeling cough Pixies TOOTH
ache drops cure in one minute.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-31
Gasfrine.

REMARKABLE TRANSFORMED on OF color
When the white stag turns TO bay.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-31

A FoREIgN barber has written his autob og
raphy. It is called "The Crowned Heads
Have Combedn
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-31

A tabiesroonfu Of GastriHe on retiring Ia
sures lepose. Sold BY druggists.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-31

Pcrsonaf
TIE yoLrArc BELT Co, Marshall, Mich. win
send DR.. DYES Celebrated Electro Voltaic
Belts and Electric Appliances on trial for
thirty days to men young or old who are al.
aicted with nervous debility lost vitality and
kindred troubles, guaranteeing speedy and
complete restoration of health and manly yigor.
Address as above n B.-No risk 10 incurred,
Is thirty days trial Is allowed.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-31

C. c. DOYLE, Passenger Agent, Lynchburg, Va.
p Ii. WOODWARD, Passenger Agent, Stanton,
Virginia.
J. C. DAME, General Southeastern Agent 513
Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D. G.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1883-03-31

REMEMBER, that the Chesapeake Ohio Route
can ticket you and transport you TO any point
WEST, NORTHWEST OR SOUTHWEST
More cheaply and comfortably, with less nSnber
Of changes, than any other route.
The Press., 1883-05-24
"A BLESSING IN DIsGUIsE.' B
ASA ,,ADELPHI ST., BROOKLYN, N. Y

B ." March 29, 1881. {
 No family should be without A1LcooK's PoR- oUs PLAsTERs their healing powers are won- derful and their efficacy far reaching and last ing. For years past I have seen and known them to cure and relieve the most obstinate and distressing cases of rheumatism, kidney complaint, bronchitis. neuralgia, lumbago, in- fammation of the lungs and throat, paralysis, asthma, spinal weakness, and coughs and colds. In my own case they have afforded me almost instant and permanent relief. My friends consider them an invaluable and speedy remedy for all kinds of aches and pains. They are a blessing in disguise and no wife or mother should be without them if she values her peace and comfort and freedom from nervous exhaustion and other ailments. As strengthening plaster, also for backaches and weaknesses, they have no equal l have never yet found plaster so eficacious and stimulating, or to give so much general satis- faction. Used in connection with BRAND RErH's universal ife-giving and life-healing PILLS, no one need despaia of @ speedy res toration to good sound health.
 .. MRS. E. ToMPK1Ns.
The Press., 1883-05-24

A rich story is told by the Philadelphia Times concerning two democratic mem- bers of the legislature from that city. A member had wound up grandiloquent speech with the quotation, ''Vox populi,
 vox dei." The two Philadelphians, Craw- ford and Mackin, had both been listening with great admiration, and Mackin, turn ing aside, cried to Crawford, ''Al, wasn't t that fine climax ?' ''Oh, it was grand p replied the eleventh ward member. Mack in eyed Crawford suspiciously for mo- ment, and then offered to bet ten dollars that he did not know what he said. "Ill take that said Crawford "of course I know what he said. It was Wor 4oopuli, a0oc Del, and it means My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me? ?" Mackin plunged his hands into his pocket and meekly said, "There's the tenner, Al didn't know you were such good Latin scholar" 4. ss " =-n s..g.s
The Press., 1883-05-24
TERRIBLE SUFFERING.

Kidney and Bladder Complaints of
 Many Years Duration-HisW Word
 Good as GOld-Case of City As.
 sessOr Fran cis GOmard, S9
 summer St.. Howell. Mass.
 t'Hs word is good as bank note at any bank in Lowell, and know it." was the opinion of well known citizen in speaking of City Assessor Francis Gomard. Your reporter found MT. Gomard at his pleasant home, (Which, with many others, adorns Sumner street and fronts the charming park of South Common. MT. Gomard said, ''I had been as many of my friends in Lowell know, great sufferer from kidney and urinary troubles for long time. Ely physician said it was the result of diseased kidneys and enlargement of the prostate gland. I had saf- fered terribly, and although my doctors treatment had been the best which this city afforded, got no better. said finally, sDocter, it's no use. You have done all that is in your power to do, know that; but must get help from some other source or de.' Finally was induced to try Dr. Kennedy's FAFO- RITE REMEDY, medicine which had been recom- mended very highly for kidney diseases. received help at once. It has acted like charm with me. Why SO? Dr. Kennedy's FAVOkTTE REMEDY IS an honest preparation, and know it. didn't think anything would help me- but this has given me bet ter health than any medicine prescribed for me- have recommended it to so many Of my friends think there is nothing like Dr. Kennedy's FAVO- RITE REMEDY"
 What MT. Gomard says can be depended upon, as any acquainted with the gentleman knows.
The Press., 1883-05-24
TALMAGE ON HUsKING.
Ears of Corn that Don't Mind 1t, and
 Others that Do.

My hearers, shouted Rev. Dr. Tamage, from his pulpit in Brooklyn Tabernacle, on bright Sunday morning last November, ''gong at the rate of forty miles an hour last Wednesday, got this sermon on husking God has arranged that the car and the husk shall be parted. Every rheumatic pam is but thrust of the husking-peg every neuralgia twinge is only a twist of the husker, Thus he takes away what flinders your souls liberation."
 Poetry is permitted to preachers; but the fact is nobody wants to be husked nor does any one believe that the body to the soul what the husk is to the corn. On the other hand Nature teaches us to fight this huskng process. Hence most people are thank full for whatever can abatc those 'rheumatc pains" and neuralgia twinges,"
 That, at least, was the view taken of the subject py M Alfred Bear, French gentleman who, at his pleasant home, Grcenmont, near Sing Sing N. Y., sald the other day, to reporter:
 NY life has at times been rendered almost into,- erable by Rheumatism. had tried different reme- dies without result But Parkers Ginger Tonic gave me great satisfaction. You may tell Messieurs His COX & Co., of New Iork-the propretors--that cer- y restored my health. Please say also, that they are welcome to my name, and ask them to accept my thanks, added the courteous Parisian.
 Rheumatism is symptom of kidney disease, not an atection of the joints muscles. Parkers Gin ger Tonic puries the Blood and acts with success beyond that of all other preparations in cases of Dys- pepsia, Liver Kidney and Stomach disorders, and in common Coughs and Colds. Prices, 50 cents3 and S1 bottle. The latter the more economical
The Press., 1883-05-24

A CONNECTICUT journal furnishes the fol- lowing toothsome bit of literary diet. It may appear ''fishy" at the first glance but it isn't: : "A paper called the Idiot has appeared in Paris, France. No doubt it is intended for those queer fish that are supposed to be in Seine." Anybody in America could be prop erly called insane, or an idiot, if he should declare Catarrh to be incuraale. People used to think so. The newspapers now contain data, names, facts and dates of cures of this loathsome malady. Everybody has come to know that Ely's Cream Balm cures Catarrh, and it is the only preparation that will do. it.
 'Ely's Cream Balm has cured me of Catarrh of several oears' standing" writes MT. Frank c. Ogden, of Elizabeth, N. J. ''I have re- covered my sense of taste and smell. The Balm has no equal as @ cure for this terrible disease" It is not liquid or snuff, and is easily applied.
The Press., 1883-05-24

WOMAN AS LOCAL ED1roR.-Strange that women are not more extensively en- ployed as news-gatherers for the press. "Why," said Fogg, "Mrs. F. went out visiting t'other day, and notwithstand- ing she had been gone less than an hour, when she came home she was fairly over- flowing with new and recondite informa- ton. Our next-door neighbor on one side had gone into bankruptcy, and his credit ors were raising terrible bother about it our neighbor on t'other side had been treating his family in a most shameful manner, and everybody was talking about it; wedding was on the carpet across the way, notwithstanding nobody could see what he ever could see in her to fall in love with two persons had been carried out of the world just below us, and three more brought into it two or three doors above Mrs. A. had got new silk dress, Mrs. B. had made over her old one, and Mrs. c. had declared that Parson Jones wife wasn' t bit sociable. All this, and more beside. And l." continued Fogg, might travel all over town, from now to midsummer, and I wouldn't have found out one-hun- dredth part of the intelligence that woman picked up in one short hour. ''-Boston Journal.
The Press., 1883-05-24

THE GENTLEMAN IN OvERALLs.-He was gentleman who wore overalls and carried tin dinner pail. His clothes were un- ready made, and his boots were not sym metrical. He said the long journey of five miles each way to and from his work was trying. "Why don't you live in the city ?" Because, sorr''-in a rich Milesian brogue eff I lived in the city I should have to live in tenement house. You don't know the kind of people who live there. They're bad lot all through, generally. Sights go on no woman or child should see. I want to save my wife and child from see- ing corruption, so moved out here. Good night, SOFT p And he left the car at a lit tie cottage, whose inmates were sheltered from corruption, and was greeted with 8 chorus of Here's father," that showed the gentleman with the dinner pail had not lavished care without receiving 8 re- turn in love.-Bostoa Irauscriqot.
The Press., 1883-05-24

This copy of a CORRECT LIKENESS, taken from life, of MT. George McIndue of Middletown, Conn.,, after using sKalIocrine." He perfectly bald had used various preparations that highly pufed and advertised happening in one day at the drug store of his fellow-townsman MT. c. A. Pelton, he told him of his loss and experience the latter said he had preparation that would bring back his hair if it was possible to do se if the cases had not been de- sroyed and there still the least life in the roots of the halr
 MT. McIndue took home bottle of 'Kallocrne,' J used it faithfully and in short time new hair began to appear He purchased | supply of 'kallocrine," and the result is shown in this picture.
 He would not be without it for twice it's cost. Since he has reganed his hair it keeps his head FROM DANDRUFF, KEEPS HIS HAIR SOFT AND GLOSSY, AND KEEPS HIS HEAD AND BRAIN CLEAN AND CLEAR. He will reply to any inquiries addressed to him.
 The Proprietor has been druggist all his life and knows how injurious nearly all the preparations for the hair that flood the market are, some even pro- ducing diseases of the brain after continued use.
 He takes great pride in guaranteeing that 'EKallo crime" contains nothing but what is positively bene cial to both head and hair; MADE FROM THE VERY INCEST INGREDIENTS, LUXURY.
 Sold by druggists at 50 cts. bottle There is noth- ing else good, do not take anything ill it's place.
 CA. PELTON. MIDDLETOWN, CONN,
 Sole Proprietor and Manufacturer.
The Press., 1883-05-24

An anecdote which is going the rounds of the religious papers is to the effect that in certain public office in England an old German, who was one of several foreigners employed to translate some papers in a case under examination, was shown by one of the commissioners, notedly pious man, a name on certain list, and was asked what had become of him. The German replied, "Oh, he is dead and gone to hell. 3 The commissioner, horror-struck, replied
 My dear, sir, you must not speak of him in thatSway." "Never-a-mind, said the German, "never-a-mind. Then, in 6 mysterious and emphatic whisper, he ad ded, You vait some day you will see.'
The Press., 1883-05-24
ONE TRTAT,

If you have been using other Plasters one trial of ALLcooK's PoRoUs will convince you of their wonderful superiority. Take no oth- CT so-called porous plasters that claim to be better, they are all frauds gotten up to sell on the world wide reputation of the genuine ar- tic1e.
The Press., 1883-05-24

A stand fell down with crash, A number of men it did mash, But the entire ten
 Were soon well again St. Jacobs Oil cured every gash. A baker who lives in Duluth, Went crazy one night with tooth, He rubbed the gum boil, With St. Jacobs Oil,
 It cured him, and this is the truth.
The Press., 1883-05-24

Active members of the land league are displeased with the order of the pope to the bishops in which the pope counsels obedience to the laws and submission to the government of England. They say that they will accept theology from Rome, but not political dictation. Parnen is their leader, and he does not acknowledge the temporal power of the pope. The mat ter is attracting some attention from priests and laymen; but with the mass of the land leaguers the directions of the pope will not be so much regarded in the matter of tenantry reform and local government in Ireland, as the opinions of MT. Parnell. In matters of religion they will defer to the pope; but in political questions, in which sef-government is involved, they ask for freedom opinion and action.
The Press., 1883-05-24
c. A. SNOW & CO.,,

nI not, life is sweeping by, go and gH0f1T dare before you die, something mighty kANE and sublime leave behind to conquer EEENE time." $66 week in your own town EEEItlH s outfit free. No risk. Everything new. @~0~ Capital not required We will furnish make as much as men, and boys and girls make great pay. Readers if you want business at which you eau make great pay all the time, write for particulars to H. HAILETT & Co., Portland Maine
The Press., 1883-05-24

JUST MARRrED.-How loving they are; this is always sure sign. After the first year sometimes it don't hold good. When Charles comes home to you grouty and cross, snap ping and snarling, unable to relish the nice dinner you have cooked, and feels as if there was ton of pig iron in his stomach, he is troubled with dyspepsia, and Sulphur Bitters is the only medicine that will cure him.
The Press., 1883-05-24

A Boston artist painted string of ten trout so naturally that that the man who bought it told everybody that he had purchased pie ture of 575 trout all on one string.
 ***"Better bear present evils than fly to those unknown" Better still, use Kidney Wort and make your present evils fly to parts unknown. If you find yourself getting bill ious, head heavy, mouth foul, eyes yellow, kidneys disordered, symptoms of piles tor menting you, take at once few doses of Kid ney- Wort. Use it as an advance guard either in dry or liquid form-it is efficient.
 Eg-No family dyes were ever so popular as the Diamond Dyes. They never fail. The Black is far superior to haywood, The other colors are brilliant.
 CURE YoURsELF.-Dont pay large doctors bills. The best medical book published, 100 pages, elegant colored plates, will be sent you on receipt of two cent stamps to pay post age. Address A. P. Ordway & Co.,, Boston, Mass
The Press., 1883-05-24
Things worth noing-Invitation to drink

physicians is very seldom given to a proprie- tary article, yet this is what c. A. Pelton, of Middletown, Conn.,, has received:
 We the undersigneds Physicians of Middle town, have been made acquainted with the formula from which the ''Kallocrine'' is made and consider it especially adapted for the purpose for which it is recommended, viz |: for renewing, strengthening, and beautifying the HAIR; and in many instances of restoring gray hair to its original color.
 Signed, F. WOODRUFF, M. D.
 E. B. ME, M. D. M. C. HAzEN, M. D.
 ''Kallocrine" is sold by druggists at 50 cents bottle. There is nothing that will do in it's place.
The Press., 1883-05-24

"Get up like a man, and take care of your self" Get bottle of Wheat Bitters, it will make new man of you, no matter what your trouble may be. No such remedy was ever before offered to the public. $1.
The Press., 1883-05-24

'FGoLDEN MEDICAL DISCOVERY" has been used with signal success in consumption of the lungs, consumptive night-sweats, splitting of blood, shortness of breath weak lungs, coughs, bronchitis, and kindred affections of throat and chest, Sold by druggists.
The Press., 1883-05-24

The retail jewellers of New York and some western cities have started a move. ment that may amount to good deal. They complain that at certain times, es- pecially holiday seasons, dry goods stores, furnishing stores, and drug stores sell the cheaper kinds of jewelry as cheap as reg ular dealers can, and that this is proof that they buy their goods from the makers as cheap as regular jewellers can. They pro- pose to stop this, and have banded to- gether to compel the manufacturing jew elers to respect the regular trade. A sim liar movement among other storekeepers might lead to closer drawing of lines than is now found,
The Press., 1883-05-24

The crown of merit Is universally accorded to Potaska, the incomparable remedy for all maladies of the throat sudden colds, etc.
The Press., 1883-05-24
ACTIVITY IN IMPROVED LIVE STOCK.

Never before in the history of cattle breeding has there been greater demand for improved breeds than at present. The combination sale of Jerseys at New York last week and this weeks sales have both been very successful. To these sales many of the prominent breeders of the country contributed their joint consignments for the purpose of rendering them of sufficient importance to attract the most discrimi-. hating buyers. The proportion of bulls is limited, the intention being to exclude any but the most valuable. A rivalry which exists between breeders to be well repre- sented in the herd has been largely stimu- lated by the establishment of an annual award raised by subscription among mem- bers of the American Jersey cattle club, for the highest average prices obtained on five animals of 8 single ownership. This consists of 8 costly piece of silver plate known as the Breeders cup. The cup has been awarded to MT. s. M. Burnham of Saugatuck, Conn.,, who received an av- craze price of g, ,46O for five animals sold by him as follows:
 Nancy Lee, imported COW, ..... $2.1OOoO Auntybene sd, imp: coy tcoomassie blood), 1,9oOoo Auntybelle Sd, Rioter-C Coomassle heifer, 1,200.00 Gold Coast, bull of Coomassie blood, 2,2O0oO King of Ashantee bull (son of Coomassie), 5,60O00
 Total for five, s12, ,soo 90
 The Devons are another breed that seem to be again coming to the front. Ex-Gov- ernor B. H. Hyde of Stafford, Conn.,, has been breeding this stock for about 40 years, and is probably the oldest and largest breeder of Devons in New England, as well as one of the most successful. Most of this breed in these states were ob- tained directly or indirectly from this herd. MT. Hyde says there was never so much inquiry for Devons as now, especially to go west. He has just shipped to Guy c. Bar ton of Omaha, Neb., 50 head of thorough bred COWS, heifers and calves, and has or ders ahead for 50 yearling Devon bulls. The stock just sold brought 5000, or an average of $10O per head, including the young stock These cattle were shipped in the Burton stock car, which is to cattle what the palace sleeping car is to the pas senger Too much cannot be said in praise of this humanitarian way of shipping cattle. They are as comfortable as they would be in their stables at home, and can be fed and watered about as easily. E. Home stead
The Press., 1883-05-24

''When thing is once begun, it is almost half finished" If you, reader, have dyspep- sia constipation, biliousness, or any disorder arising from impure blood, begin taking Wheat Bitters. Your cure will be half finish ed, likely completed, by the first bottle.
The Press., 1883-05-24
"Men must work and women weep, So runs the world away ID

But they need not weep so much if they use Dr. Pieice's ''Favorite Prescription, {" which cures all the painful maladies peculiar to women. Sold by druggists.
The Press., 1883-05-24
+It is not necessary to enter into par

*It is not necessary to enter into particulars in referring to the complicated organic and functional difficulties to which the more del icate clesses of American women are subject; but we take pleasure in saying that Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham's Great Remedy for all these troubles has an unbounded popularity.
 A Philadelphia paper says, eff over-pro- duction makes dull hop market, under-pro- duction should make dull market hop.o
The Press., 1883-05-24

How TO GET S1cK.-Expose yourself day and night, eat too much without exercise, work too hard without rest, doctor all the time, take all the vile nostrums advertised, and then you will want to know
 How TO GET WELL-Which is answered in three words-Take Hop Bitters
The Press., 1883-05-24

Remember, young man," said Uncle Nose, ''dat de best frien' yer got on dis earth is a better frien' ter himself den he is ter you"
The Press., 1883-05-24

Henry Russell, who wrote "A Life on the Ocean Wave" Something less than century ago), is still alive and hearty, and lives with his son, w. Clark Russell, the novelist.
The Press., 1883-05-24

A California man choked himself to death with tape measure. The coroner's verdict was that he died by inches.
The Press., 1883-05-24

"A stitch in time saves nine" And dose of Potaska taken in time saves you from the fell destroyer, Diphtheria.
The Press., 1883-05-24

A New Haven lady, Mrs. John Insult, visited the cellar to stop what she supposed to be the water escaping from the faucet, but found it tight. She then ssaw at her feet, where the noise came from, what appeared to be length of hose. She stooded and picked ..it~sup, but dvopped it quickly when she discovered that it was live snake She summoned 8 gentle man in the vicinity and he killed the snake, which proved to be an adder twenty-seven inches long.