Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-01-30
THE SECOND ELISHA.

THE SECOND ELISHA.
AdUent of Prophet IN PhilGdeLphia-4
Prediction OF the Speedy Destruction Of
the World.
Philadelphia Press.
The following advertise ment was insert
ed in the Press of Jan. IL:
NOTICE-The Lords last prophet before the
IN millennium intends to be in Philadelphia
on Jan. 20, 1883, and if desired, will give the
people free lesson in the Bible if they procure
a hell; and it shall be the most instructive and
indomitable that has ever been delivered in this
city. If not he will pay $50-the audience to
judge--the Bible the criterion. If this offer S
accepted inform him of it ON the above date at
Temperance hotel, No. 1926 Market street.
PROPHET.
According to this advertised promise, the
prophet made his appearance in Philadel-
phia on the day specified. He carried with
him an attenuated gripsack and a Bible.
He didn't look exactly like prophet is
supposed to look. His appearance was
more like that of bankrupt farmer or a
reformed lightning rod agent, and his name
was very commonplace indeed. 1t appears
on the hotel register as Thomas J. Jones,
of Pennsylvania. The first thing the
prophet did was to eat large meal; the
next to make mysterious inquiries as to
the general wickedness of the city of Penn.
He spoke cheerfully of the near approach
of the worlds end, and the very complete
manner in which the globe is to be de-
stroyed by fire in 1916, and astounded a
mild hammered boarder by announcing
| that he had made a covenant with the
Almighty in 1875, to expound the script
ures on an entirely new plan. He added.
however, that he had deemed it prudent to
have this plan copyrighted, in order to
prevent rival prophets from getting their
| work in first.
| Prophet Jones lounged around the hotel
all day Saturday, expecting every moment
to be called upon either by delegation of
frightened clergymen, or committee of
| citizens to tender him the use of hall, but
nobody came save wicked newsboy, who
asked the prophet if his clothes fit him,
and advised him to pull down his vest.
Later in the day, the religious reporter of
the Press called upon the prophet and
! found him quite ready to talk about his
! peculiar mission. He regarded it as quite
an exploit, he said to boldly invade great
city, where pugilists and politicians
abounded; where theaters were ablaze dur
ing the week and churches were not; where
the courts kept open from nearly one end
of the year to the other, and lawyers took
| large fees from self-confessed thieves He
felt he had invaded the very camp of the
Philistlnes and sinners, and although not a
betting prophet, he would go $50 and $40
better that he could do what he set forth in
the advertisement.
Il wouldn't have come here if / had not
been directed to do so," said the prophet,
as he walked toward the door, ''but Pm the
second Elisha come to warn sinners of
their danger. I walk between the theo-
Logan and the infdel, and stand ready to
prove that both of them are liars by the
Bible. Why, none of them know the differ
ence between the words Lord and God"
''What is the difference?" was asked.
SWELL" replied the prophet guardedly,
''tha's the very thing I've got copy
wright on. just look at this" and he drew
small pamphlet from his pocket on
which was printed the words, ''Key to the
Holy Bible" The little book consisted of
curious tumble of religious axioms, and
ended with the following paragraph:
N. B.-Please keep it clean, for 1 may
write another to follow this in short time,
then you can bind them together. Thus
endeth the fifth chapter and likewise this
volume.
"Elisha," continued the prophetic Mr..
Jones, twas the first prophet and am the
second. There can be no more after me,
because the world is to be destroyed by
fire in thirty three years. That period is
the exact duration of the present condition
of things. At the end of twenty-five years,
however, shall have converted the Jews to
Christianity, and will then lead them to Is
rael, the promised land. AS soon as that is
accomplished, one-sixth of the GENTLE
world will be destroyed by war, pestilence
and famine. The remaining fve-sixths
will then go to the Jews"
An interrogation point bulged out of the
visitors eye.
''You want to know who?" queried the
prophet, with confident smile. ''Simply
to borrow money from the Israelites Yes
sir. But the whole caboodle will be
drowned in the Red sea, the same as Rha-
aoh and his hosts"
Suppose you die before all this comes
tc pass, what them" was asked.
"Oh," replied the prophet, Il will not
die. am to be taken to heaven as Elisha
was taken. You must know that am an
Isra- lite myself, although Welsh carpen-
ter, and can trace my ancestry back in a
straight ling to Ephraim. Two of my
children, who are now dead, will rise on
the morning of the millennium, and blow
the great trump. don't mind telling you"
interjected the prophet, confdentially,
shat they are the witnesses spoken of in
the 18th chapter of Revelations, and if no.
body turns up to get me that hall by half
past 8 O'Clock Pm going to make Decline
for home and let the publicans and sinners
look out for theselves.''
Nobody turned up and Prophet Jones
went home with his gripsack and Bible.
Obituary.
Boston, Jan. 90. = Garfield Learned
senior nember of the firm of IAarnad