Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1883-06-02
The Spoopendykes Play Poker.

The ~Spoopendykes Play Poker.
"Now, my DEAR" said Mr.. spoopen.
dyke, shutting the cards and dividing
the checkers into two even piles; "sup-
pose we play q little game of poker. Do
you know how to play poker?"
81 guess SO, replied Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, hitching up her chair and busting
the top of the table with a towel.
CHOW, how many cards do you
wantp"
''Let me think" futtered Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. "Let's see. l believe I'll take
ten"
"Better take q gross" snorted Mr..
Sp%oopendyke, cycling her w%rathfully.
"Perhaps you'd like half a barrel! Don't
you know you can't draw but
five? If you've got any bad cards throw
'em away and I'll give you more for
'em. If your cards are all good you can
stand pat. Do you want to stand patti"
Il guess so," sighed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, helplessly. eff 1 stand pat, do I
play the eight or the queen?"
"You don't play either" replied Mr..
Spoopendyke, helping himself to five
cards and drawing a couple Of kings.
''Now, it's my bet. I bet two; what do
you bet?"
"Then 1 bet two," answered Mrs.
Spoopendyke, frightening up as she be-
gan to see her way clear. I bet a queen
and an eight" and she laid them down
with confidence.
'That calls my hand" said Mr..
Spoopendyke, gleefully, "only you
don't bet your cards; you bet your
checkers. Put in two checkers and
show your cards."
Mrs. ~Spoopendyke showed her check
ers into the middle of the table and laid
down three Fights and a pair of queens.
"Where'd you get 'em?" roared Mr..
Spoopendyke, recognizing his defeat.
''What'd We want to keep talking about
the three of Fights and two of queens?
Why didn't you tell me you had a full
handp"
"You gave 'em to me-" returned Mrs.
Spoopendyke, dolefully. II only had
those five, What does it do?"
cit makes a jack pot!' growled Mr.
Spoopendyke, seeing a chance for him
self in his wife's utter ignorance of the
game. "Now we've each got to put in
one checker, just because you played in
that way"
''I'm sorry, dear" cooed Mrs. Spoop-
endyk, rather pleased with the idea of
getting out of the scrape at any expense.
''And yet 1 might have known it would
have made it a jack pot if I hadstopped
to Think"
"When you stop to think, you only
want.a stick of chewing-gum and a rat
trap to be a female seminary! Do you
know what a jack pot isP Got some
kind of a potion that it has three legs
and is used to cook mush in, haven't
We? Well, it isn't, and it isn't to sit
there and grin at, either! 1t takes a
pair of jacks, or something as good as
them, to open it. Now, take these
cards and tell me whether you open it
or notr
Mrs. s~poopendyke examined her cards
critically.
'What have you got?" demanded Mr..
.Spoopendyke.
His wife laid down four ices and a
jack.
Mr.. Spoopendyke glanced at the hand
and then at his w cards. His ace was
only the joker, which he had forgotten
to remove from the pack.
(Which opens it?" inquired Mrs.
~Spoopendyke, watching the gathering
storm with some trepidation.
Nothing opens it?' yelled Mr..
~Spoopendyke, dashing his cards to the
floor. "With your way of playing it,
it would take a steam oyster knife to
open it! How'd we think it was opened
with a night key? Got an idea thatit
had hinges, haven't We, and opens
widest when it has nothing to say, like
your MOUTH"
''Must l bet my last cent now?" fall
tered Mrs. Spoopendyke, profoundly
impressed with the idea that the game
was still going on. "I've got four dol
lars, but l want n for wiggin. Shall
l bet the other three?"
"Bet'emr' howled Mr. Spoopendyke,
who, like a great many men, regarded
the idea of his wife beating him at any
thing as something in%tolerably blasphe-
nous. s'Why don't ye bet? Bring
forth the speculative three dollars and
hazard it on the four triumphant aces!
Wah-h-h-h-!" and the conclusion of Mr..
Spoopendyke's speech flew out of him
too fast for perfect enunciation.
II don't care" murmured Mrs.
Spoopendyke, as she wound the clock
and stood scratching her nose with the
key, che told me that four aces were as
good as the jack pot, and when Iopened
it he said I was wrong. Another time
I'll put them in my pocket, and he can
play away at that jack pot until he's
bald before I'll help him get it open?'
And with this riotous determination,
Mrs. Spoopendyke crawled into bed and
dreamed that she had got caught in a
jack pot with a spring lock to it, and
couldn't get out because she had left the
four aces in the pocket of her new plum
colored silk.--Drake's Magazine.