National Republican., 1883-07-13
n1L1 NYE on noN1Na.
The Famous HumorisUs Personal E1pe-
rienco I'm the Manly Art.

rienco in the Manly Art.
have Just returned from little two
handed tournament with the gloves. l have
filled my nose with cotton waste so that l
shall not soak this sketch in gore as write,
"I needed little healthful exercise, and
was looking for something that would be full
Of vigorous enthusiasm, and at the same timo
promote the healthful flow Of blood to the
muscles. This was rather difficult. l tried
most everything, but failed, Being sociablo
boing (ioke), | wanted Othor people TO help
me exercise or go along with me when / ex-
crcised. Some men can go away to desert
isle and have fun with dumbbells and hori-
zontal bar, but to me IL would seem dull and
commonplace after awhile and l would yearn
for moro humanity.
Two of us finally concluded TO play
billiards, but we were only amateurs, and tho
owner intimated that he would want the table
fol fourth of July so we broke off in the mid
die of tho first game and | paid for IL.
Then younger brother said he had set
of boxing gloves in his room, and although
was the taller and had longer arms, he woul Id
hold up as long as ho could and might ham.
mcI him until gained strength and finally
got woll.
accepted this offer because had often re-
grettod that had not made myself familiar
with this art, and also because l knew il
would create thrill of interest and fire me
with ambition, and that's what hollow
eyod invalid needs to put him on the road to
recovery,
The boxing glove is large fat mitten with
an abnormal thumb, and a string at the wrist
by which you tic it on, so that when you feed
1t to your adversary he cannot swallow it and
choke himself had never seen any boxing
gloves before, but my brother said they were
soft and wouldn't hurt anybody. So we took
off some of our raiment and put them on.
Then we shook hands. That was to show
that we were friendly and would not slay each
ether.
My brother is great deal younger than
am, and so l warned him not to get excited
and come for me with anything that looked
like wild and ungovcrnabe fury, because
might, in the heat of debate, pile his jaw up
on his forehead and fill his ear full of sore
thumb. He said that was all right, and he
would try to be cool and collected.
Then we put our right toes close together,
and told him to be on his guard. At that
moment | dealt him terrific blow, aimed at
his nose, but, through n clerical error of
mine, it went over his shoulder and spent
itself III the wall of the room, shattering a
small hollywood bracket, for which paid him
$3.50 aiterward. l did not wish to buy tho
bracket, because l had two at home but
he was arbitrary about it, and | bought it.
We then took another athletic posture and
in two seconds the air was fall of poultced
thumb and buckskin mtten. soon detected
chance to put one in where my brother
could smell of it, but | never knew Just
whore it struck, for at that moment l ran up
against something with the pit of my
stomach that made me throw up the sponge
along with some other things.
My mother then proposed that wo take of
tho gloves, but thought | had not sufficiently
punished him, and that another round would
complete the conquest, which was then al
most within my grasp. l took bismuth
powder and squared myself, but in warding
off a left handler l forgot about my adversary S
| right, and ran my nose into the middle of his
boxing glove. Fearing that l had injured
him, l retreatod rapidly on my elbows and
shoulder blades to the coener of tho room
| thus giving him ample time to recover. BY
this means my younger brothers features
were saved, and are to-day as symmetrical as
| my own.
can still cough up pieces of boxing gloves,
and when close my eyes l can see calcium
| lights and blue phosphorescent CLEANS across
the horizon; but / am thoroughly convinced
that there is no physical exercise which
| yields the same amount of health and elastic
| vigor to the puncher that tho manly art docs
| To the punchee, also, itafIords large wad of
! glad surprise and nose bleed which cannot be
| hurtful to those who banker for the pleasing
nervous shock, tho spinal jar, and the pyro-
| technio concussion. roo
This is why shall continue the exercises
after have practiced with a mu 10 or a cow
catcher two or three weeks, and feel o little
moro confidence in myself