The Evening critic., 1883-02-09
The story of Caleb.

While everybody else Is expressing his opln-
iative bill, / would like TO squeak my little
squeak also. ] knew an old woman once who
had bound boy TO do her chores and act as n
ecapegoat when her temper was rlled. II she
fell out with neighbor, or had little un.
pleasantness with her husband-why, she
whipped Caleb. If she broke dish or burned
her fingers, she Just trounced caleb. If 1t
raincd on wash day, Caleb got a thrashinG, In
harvest, when she felt Overworked and tired
cooking for the extra hands, she rested her
self humping Caleb True, he helped her
more than anybody else, tramped and
drudged for her all day, but he got walloped
at night, because she dare not whip her neigh
bors when she quarreled with them.
She could not whip her husband. She
did not feel disposed TO visit condign punish
ment on herself, even for breaking the china.
The weather was too Indifferent to her pleas
ure to make It pay TO rail at that, and tho
harvest hands would have left In n body II sho
had shown her resentment TO them, 80 the
only defepseless thing at hand was the poor
bound boy, Caleb, and Caleb caught IL accord
ingly, .-,-
think; when they quarrel with their neiShb0rS
or have a storm on wash.day like the terrific
one last fall they must vent their feelings
whaling Caleb. The Republicans must whip
him because IL is spleenful necessity, and the
Democrats Join in for just nothing ut all, and
Ike the foolish gudgeon they snap at the
naked hook. Ever since the election these two
parties have seemed yieing with each other
in wonderful spnsm of virtue, the Ike
OF which has never been known
before, but like the housemald
who always had a ft on cleaning day,
the cure for this spasm, too, might be found
In clap.board we'll applied. II Is almost
pitiiul 10 see the contortions while the lit ls
on. too; and any one who has visited one OF
the departments lately, where the tlls are
very Dad,' may possibly feel u little humlll-
ated as ne notices the uneasy furtlve actions
Of men and women who We're formerly free
born gentlemen and ladies'. But 1t Is safe %
whip Caleb; he is powerless to resent 1t. "lf
clerks do not like the way they are treated,
they can resign; there are pleuty more who
will take their Places they are scofiinsly
assured by some of the ''outs." But 1t is not
true that they can resign; Calet
is bound boy in very truth
bound by the first law of nature for self
| preservation binds him TO keep even a bad
| situation Till he can get better. MY deal
| brethren, little plain, unyarnished truth
| from even so humble an individual as mysel
| may do some good, II you want your employe:
| 10 believe In your spasmS Just take then
| on a holiday Instead Of cleaning day. Yor
| are paid by the year, two-thirds OF which yot
| do nothing for the Government that pays you
| Suppose you take spasm and deduct the pay
for all this lost time from your own bills
he Capitol and begin business az MIN,
| O'Clock, as the clerks do, and cease bowling
| about the shortness OF time, unfinished Dusi
ness and extra sessions. Don't whip Calet
any more; he will be man by-and.by (or
election day., and you may then wish you mac
| MOUSE. THE-CoRNER.