The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1883-01-12
MANKATo FREE PRESS.
FRIDAY. JANUARY la, 1888.
Mark Twain's Exeroiaa.

Mark Twain's Exercise.
Mark Twain went to Elmira last sum-
mer to find quiet place to write. He
became somewhat out of health and one |
day recently he was interrupted by the
family physician, who called to make
friendly visit. Into his sympathetic ear
was poured the tale Of the humorist's
woes, and after moments consulta.
ton he remarked: '.Clemens, what you
need il exercised With look of gentle
reproach which soon changed to anxious
innocence, the hero Of many an expert
ence of roughing it Tin pictures), and
tramps at home and abroad (on paper),
made reply: well, that's all right,
but who's going to do 1t for mep You
see." he continued. "the tmen on the
place are all busy, and the children
amt big enough to accomplish anything
and" "You must do it yourself!'
was the professional stop put to his de-
muir. "Do it myself How in thunder
to you expect-why. what can dop-
There amt good poker player on this
hill. and the hammock broke down yes
terday, SO can't use that" mo.
no." Interrupted the doctor. "you must
have active, exertive exercise; some
thing that looks like work, you know!
You can walk down town or swing
dumbbells. or chop wood, Or"
Hold on. you've struck it." exclaimed
Mark. 'I'll chop woodr' "Best thing
you can do" said the doctor. as he took
his leave. ut brings into play so many
varied muscles. expands the chest. deep
ems the inspiration and superinduces q
more bountiful oxygenation by the
beautiful process of endosmosis and ex-
osmosis, and hence the red corpuscles
-" "Here have . cigar" said
Twain. pushing box before him, "and
let up on Moses" "You mustn't smoke,
you know" the doctor said. as he pick
ed out a weed. "Oh! no. Two stopped
smoking" said Twain, as he carefully
placed sheet of copy paper over the
three old stumps and brier pipe; II
found that it disagreed with my family
long ago" The doctor departed. and
Clemens. with the glow Of renewed
health already shining in anticipation
on his brow. took one Of the farm hands
from the harvest field and sent him to
town after new AK. He returned with
the tool, bright-bladed. sharp-edged.-
Finally. thinking he had the hang of the
thing, Clemens had the man hitch up
and drive up the road about mile to q
piece Of woods. The members of the
family went with him to look for flowers
and berries while he chopped. Arriving
at the desired spot, he carefully took
out the AK. unwrapped the old coat, and
laid the tool down beside the stump of
dead pine. The family wandered away,
picked one or two flowers. and then
fastened back. as they heard him shout
ing their names. "1've done enough
for to-day" he said, as they came near.
They saw four blisters on his hands
and piece of new leather shining on
one of his boots. but no wood lying
around. However. they said nothing,
and went home; the hired man carrying
the ak.
That evening, sitting on the piazza,
applying arnica to his hands. he said:
.'It's hard work. but I'm going to keep
it up! It's splendid exercise. and just
see how it has built up other great men!
Why, you know, Greeley prolonged his
life many years by chopping at Chap
paqua, and Gladstone is alive yet and
making things hot in Egypt only by
reason of the beneficial results Of an
hours chopping every day. You wait
month and see me! I'll be able to fight
Tug Wilson and row Courtney and out
talk Beecher."
All this was several days since Glenn
ems noticed his new Ak lying where he
had left it on his return from his initial
trip, its brightness changed to reproach-
full rust. Conscience smote him. He
would resume exercise. He would at
tack anew the monarchs of the forest.
He woulk acquire muscle. So he boldly
marched for the same piece of woods
and began operations on the old pine.
But few minutes had elapsed before a
six-shooter appeared before him. and
the following colloquy ensued: "Now.
you skin right out O. here, young man!
These is my woods. and you'll learn to
let folkses property alone after I'm
through with We! Git. now!' Searching
on his forehead for an imaginary bead
of sweat, Twain glanced obviously at
tho enraged bucolic, and said: ''Well.
wh-what-seems-to be-the matter
with your" Matter. I'll show ye! Try
in to steal my woodr' "But, my good
man. don't want your woodr' Then
what are you cutting it for3' "Why,
for exercise, that's all. The doctor said
-" "Oh, that's too thin! Exercise!
You look like man that would do any.
thing for exercise. Now with renewed
energy), you get right out o. here! RICH,
out" and the farmer made threatening
advances. "But-but-look here, my
good man, you don't know who l am
You are talking to e." Eyes, do
know. You're that Clemens. I've heard
about your being here about four weeks
ago. and I've had my eye on you ever
since! Now (picking up pine root).
you git" Clemens took up the ak,
cast whitening look on the bucolic,
and sadly climbed out Of the wood, over
the fence, and out of danger, the voice
Of the enraged landowner sounding In
his ears for some distance down the road.
-Eimira Advertiser.
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