The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-09-15
THE TWO MISS SMITHS.

In a certain town in the west of En-
gland, which shall be nameless, there
dwelt two maiden ladies of the name of
Smith; each possessing small indie
pendence, each residing with a single
maid-servant, in a small house, the
drawing-room floor of which was let,
whenever dodgers could be found; each
lowering somewhere about the age of
fifty, and each hating the other with
restless and implacable enmity. The
origin of this aversion was the similar
ity of their names; each was Miss G.
Smith, the one being called Miss Cecilia,
the other Charlotte-a circumstance
which gave rise to such innumerable
mistakes and misunderstanding as
were sufficient to maintain these ladies
to a constant state of irritability and
warfare. Letters, messages, invita-
tons, parcels, bills, were daily missent
and opened by the wrong person, thus
exposing the private affairs of one to
the other, and as their aversion had
long ago extinguished everything like
delicacy on either side, any informa-
ton so acquired was used without
scruple to their mutual annoyance.
Presents, too, of fruit, vegetables, or
other delicacies from the neighbOring
gentry not infrequen0y found their
way to the wrong house; and if unac-
companied by letter, which took away
all excuse for mistake, they were APP
prOpriated without remorse, even when
the appropriating party felt confident
in her heart that the article was not in
tended for her; and this not from greedi-
ness or rapacity, but from the absolute
delight they took in vexing each other.
1t must be admitted, also, that this
well-known enmity was occasionally
played upon by the frolic-loving part
of the community, both high and low;
so that over and above the genuine
mistakes, which were of themselves
quite enough to keep the poor ladies in
hot water, every now and then some
little hoax was got up and practiced
upon them, such as fictitious love let
tiers, anonymous communications, and
so forth. 1t might have been imagined,
as they were not answerable for their
names, and as they were mutual suf-
ferers by the similarity-one having as
much right to complain of this freak of
fortune as the other-that they might
have entered into a compact of forbear-
ance, which would have been equally
advantageous to either party; but their
naturally acrimonious dispositions pre-
vented this, and each continued as angry
with the other as she could have been
if she had a sole and indefeasible right
to the appellation of C. Smith, and her
rival haH 11St1,.tNnI ~ ~, g
annoyance and opposition. To be quite
gust, however, we must observe that
Miss Cecilia was much the worse of the
two; by judicious management Miss
Charlotte might have been tanned, but
the malice of Miss Cecilia was alto
,gether memorable.
By the passing of the Refrom bill the
little town wherein dwelt these bellig-
erent powers received very considera-
BILE accession of Importance. 1t was
elevated into borough, and had
whole live member to itself, which,
with infinite pride and qualification, it
sent to Parliament, after having ex-
tracted from him all manner of pledges
and loaded him with all manner of in
structions as to how he should conduct
himself under every conceivable cir
cumStances; not to mention a variety
OF bills for the improvements of the
roads and markets, the erection of
town hall, and the reform of the sys-
TENS of watching, paving, lighting, etc,
the important and consequential little
town of b.
A short time previous to the first
election-an event which was antic-
pated by the inhabitants with the most
vivid interest-one of the candidates, a
country gentleman who resided some
twenty miles off, took lodging in the
town, and came there with his wife and
family, in order, by little courtesy and
few entertainments, to win the hearts
OF the electors and their friends; and
his first move was to send out invita-
tions for tea and card party, which
in due time, when the preparations were
completed, was to be followed by ball.
There was but one milliner and dress
maker of any consideration in the town
of B, and it may be imagined that
on so brilliant an occasion her services
were in great request-so much so that,
in the matter of head-dresses, she not
only found that it would be impossible,
in so short a period to fulfill the COM
mands of her customers, but also that
she had neither the material nor the
skill to give them satisfaction. 1t was
therefore settled that she should send
off an order to house in Exeter, which
was the country town, for cargo of
caps, toquets, turbans. etc.. fit for all
ages and faces-'such as were not dis
posed of to be returned" and the ladies
consented to wait, with the best patience
they could, for this interesting consign-
ment, which was to arrive without fail
on the Wednesday, Thursday being the
day fixed for the party. But the last
coach arrived on Wednesday night
without the expected boxes; however,
the coAchman brought a message fol-
Miss Gibbs, the milliner, assuring her
that they would be there the next
morning without fail
Accordingly, when the first Exeter
coach ratified through the little street Of
B, which was about half-past eleven
every head that was interested in the
freight was to be seen anxiously look