Morris tribune., 1883-03-31
A RACE FOR A KISS.
How q Nevada Woman Cured Her
Husband of Tipping.

A RACE FOR AKISS.
How a Nevada Woman Cured Her
Husband of Tipping.
Virginia City Letter.
A butter-pedler from Honey Lake:re-
lates with great glee how neighbor of
his was cured of too frequent tipping
the gin-bottle. This neighbor married a
young, handsome spirited lady, and for
month or two all went well in the
house and about the farm; then the hus-
band fell back into his old tricks. The
wife demonstrated and for time the
husband reformed. Presently, how
ever, she became satisfied that the
"bottle-tipping" was again going on.
When she spoke to her husband about
the matter he swore that the "aroma"
she detected was that of a colo med
icine he was taking, he having developed
most intractable collie, for the relief OF
which he had brought home and pa
raded bottle of medicine.
The wife was confident that there was
kept somewhere about the premises
considerable store of very different
kind of medicine. She kept her own
counsel and at the same time strict
watch. In day orJtwo she discovered
under a manager In the barn the secret
hoard. She said nothing of the discov-
cry to her husband.
Soon after the husband had business
at a neighbours some two miles away.
On his return he was somewhat sur
prised at seeing note pinned upon his
front door. He hastily advanced and
read as follows:
"Ben: You viii; find the key Of the
house where you keep your collie medi-
cine. | have taken Kitty and gone
home to my mother. Father and broth
er Bob will come tomorrow for the
trunk in which have packed my things.
NELLIE.
The husband rushed to the barn. At
a glance he saw that Kitty, his wife's
mare, and the side-saddle were gone.
Darling to the manger he hauled out his
corpulent demijohn of gin, and suspend
ed from its neck found the key Of the
house.
Securing the key. he sent the demi
john whlzzing and crashing against a
post of the barn. Bounding forth, he
ran to and mounted the horse he had
left standing in front of his house..
Away he dashed. It was ten miles to
the house Of his father-in-law, and he
was determined to overtake his vile be-
fore she could reach it or kill horse in
the attempt.
Said the butter man: Snow, seed
Ben's wife come over the hill, half a
mile south of my house, on her little
mare Kitty, and begun to perform some
queer abolutions.- After she'd got over
the brow o. the hill she paced up an
down the road for time; then she rid
up and looked over the ridge for awhile.
After lookin' bit she turned about and
then went up to the brow O. the hill
again. So she kept doin', an once or
twice she got off and led Kitty up to the
top o. the hill.
~ was puzzled as to whether she was
waitin' for somebody or had lost some
thing while on her way to her fathers
place, some four miles.beyond my house.
/ was Just about to walk out that way
when / seed her wheel Kitty round from
the brow O. the Hill and begin to play
her whip.
"In half minute she was fyin' past
my place like wild woman. stood at
my front gate by the roadside, ready to
boiler out at her to know what was up,
but bless you she never looked to'ards
me. Her eyes seemed sot in her head,
her face was pale and at every jump she
let into Kitty with whip. I swar, her
ridin'-skirt fairly cracked as she bound
ed past.
'Jist then heerd tremendous .cIat-
ter behind me. Turnin' about, / seed
Ben a-comin' over the pitch of the hill
on his big black boss, like big Conan
che. He was ridin' with loose reins,
leanin' away for'ard, and diggin' his.
spurs into his horse like he'd rip his in-
sides out.
HE passed by, with hair and coat
tails sailin' back in the wind. and never
turning his head to right or left.
thought ] seed murder in his eye, ! te,l
you, a million thoughts went through my
brain in second. All the stories I'd
insane husbands went through my head
in lump. and do believe ifI'd my gun
in my hand I'd have taken a wing-shot
at HIM on suspicion.
seed Nell look back once and then
lay the whip on Kitty hotter'n ever.
Ben was gonin' like wind. | know'd
Nell was headed for her fat hers and
seed plain as day that Ben would get
her fore she was safe landed.
"At last lie was upon her. It was then
neck and neck for time, with Ben
reaching out for Kitty's bride. At last
lie got it., and the two horses gradually
slowed up till they finally stopped. I
mounted my gate-post all ola tremble,
expectin' to see somethin' dreadful hap
pen.
"They stopped in the road talkin'
nigh onto half an hour; then seed Ben
lean over till their two heads come to-
gether.
"What the mischief" saysI, 'kissin'
instead of KILN. Well, that sort of fracas
gifts me! After the head bumpin' the
pair turned about and came slowly jog
GIN along back
Gas they passed me called out to
Ben to know what in the living lingo It
all meant. Ben began to sfammer
bout half Of which never rot
through his big beard, when Nell sings
out to me: Only race for a kissr and
givin' Kitty cut that made her bound
ten feet, she called out to Ben: Come
onl A race to the top of the hill for an
otherp and away they both went.
THAT was five years ago, and never |
knowed the meanin' OF that wild har1m- |
scarum ride till bout three months AGO.
when the story bout the scolic medicine |
leaked out among the Wimmin1 folks
For good while after the ride. how
somever, remember of the neiphbor |
men wonderin' what had come over |
Ben that he had shut down on all his |
yin.all of a.sudden and wouldn't SO much |
u take p glass O. Oregon cider,