Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-03-28
THE NEW FIRST READER.
from the Detroit Free press.

FROM The Detroit Free press.
fixture CT the earth having been increasing
FOX the last hundred years. lie is now to be
found in every country which has q dozen inhabi-
tants, and IN every community which has gro
cciy, drugstore or barber-shop.
THE WEATHER LIAR.
There are many kinds of the liar family. but
the best known is the weather liar The older
he Is the greater his license to indulge In his
fayorite pastime. Every day OF the year fur
nishes him with an excuse. and all he asks is
Tor somebody TO talk 70. The weather liar re-
members that the winter Of 1879 was exactly
like that OF 1891: the spring of 1892 puts him in
mind 81 tie spring Of 1924: the cold waves
of the past winter didn't begin with
those In Ia He can remember winters when
not H2Ae on SHOW fell. md summers when
there was frost every other night for three
m0H1as. lie has seen the thermometer drop to
foTty-seven degrees below in January ar d climb
10 40 degrees IN august. lie remembers one
year when cherries were ripe in May. and an
other when they could not be picked until No.
EcinOeT. No matter what the weather Is, the
= Gather !i3r has always seen worse. If II SHOWS
Tor two days lie has seen Ii SHOW for four. If
it rains fOr week. he can remember when it
poured Down without break for three. II YOU
have seen if lot enough to frs eggs on q stone
sidewalk, BE- has seen an melt on the toD OF q
lump OF ice.
THE FISH LIAR
ranks second on thelist. lie goes fishing abou.
once in Eve years, and spends the rest of the
time in lying about what occurred He caught
bass weighing fourteen pounds but the hook
broke and let him escape. lie had q bite from
p:cheTel four feet long, but stuihed his TOE
aid couldn't puh up III the proper moment He
began fishing with mnn0ws for bait. hut the
isn tod
button To thc book and pulled EN- out as fast
a. he could drop The. line. he caught an even
tubfui. but while he was eating luncheon the
wharf 9aV2 way aud let the tlID and fish into the
water The fish liar can he found sitting on the
counter al ths grocery ut an evening. all wound
up and ready to begin business and nothing lets
the sunshine into his life 50 quick as to yet hold
ol some one who VIII GASP out occasionally.
My stars. bat is that p0ssihle:
TIKI. HoRsE-LItr
stands third on the list lie is man who has
had horse w hich coplt. 20 in 2:2a. He hasn't
got him now. but tina; doesn't make any differ
encc. He has driven that horse In race with
an express train. and taken first money. And
he also had a running horse which once made a
dash oftwenty-1ive miles on L bet OF 81, 200. He
hasn't the horse or the money at the present
time. but he can give yon the names OF dozen
leading bank presidents AMI chief justices who
The horse-liar doesn't stop al lying about his
own horses. but he is ready 10 put in his best
ticks on animals he never saw. He is In The
confidence of the owners Of ali the celebrated
equnes. In his opinion such track Is short
and such a track is long He doesn't believe
Rarus was ever much Of horse and he feels
that he could drive Goldsmith Maid three
seconds faster than she ever recorded He is
the Identical man who first saw the spepd in Flora
Temple and il he had wanted to be mean about
1t he conid have bought her for $40 and an old
plow and made 5000 out Of the trade. He
knows all about spavins, rlngbones pO-evil
pink-eye and CHAMBERS. and he has sure cure
for each one His seat is on the head of the
second cracker barrel from the stove each even
ing through the winter. and when he can come
across some one who has invested S15 and a
crOsS-cut saw in an Old plug OF a horse, To use
IN cider mill. he is in his glory. He knows all
about that horse; been an awful good stopper:
saw him rln away once and killed two women:
harey tried to tame him, but Lad 70 give it up:
reckon he could 20 out now and give most Of
the boys the dust. and on until the grocer
rubs his sleepy eyes. ana regret fully SAYS:
Come. you liars its time TO took up and 90
home"