News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-12-06
ASKING FOR T


Young man, when you see anything
YOU want ask for it like q man. If you
want to borrow five dollars of man, or
if you only want to marry his daughter,
don't slide up to him and hang on to
your hat and talk politics and religion
and weather, and tell old stale jokes
whereof you can't remember the point,
until you worry the old man into a nerv-
GUS irritation. Go to him with a full
head of steam on and your bow ports
open, like an ironclad pulling for
shore battery. Snort and paw and
shake your head if you feel like it, no
matter if it does make him astOnished.
Better astonish than bore him. Go into
his heart or poclzet-book, or both, it
amounts to the same thing, like brin-
die bull with a curl in his forehead
charging a red merino dress, eyes on
fire, tail up, and the dust a-fying. Then
you'll fetch him. Or, possibly, he may
fetch you. But never mind; you'll ac-
complish something, and show you are
not afraid to speak what's on your
mind. And that's great deal more
than you would accomplish by the other
method. You needn't be cheeky, but
you ought to be straightforward.
..You know Blank, don't you?' quer-
led citizen as he entered Griswold
street office yesterday.
eyes"
"Have you any influence with him p
"Well; [ may have" "
"Then you are the man to go to him.
He has a son about sixteen years old y
eyes"
"That boy is on the road to ruin be-
canse his father is too good-natured and
too much wrapped up in business.
Seems to me it is your duty to go to that
man and tell him in a friendly way that
he must exercise more government or his
boy will be lost"
sI don't think I'm the man" replied
the other as he chewed at a blotting pad
and gazed out of the window.
"But why ?"
"Weu, I've got boy about the same
age, and I'm just going up to the Police
Court to pay fine of $50 for him smash
ing up saloon furniture Try the next
Detroit Free Press.
AU FAT IN EVERYTHING.
scWhat kind of man is he ?" asked
gentleman about young society man.
"Oh, he's mighty popular with the
women"
"Is he intelligent?'
"No, not particularly. You see'
there's not much demand for intelligence
in society"
"Does he dance?"
"Of course"
"Knows what's going on in theatrioals,
music, etc. p
"Of course"
eau fait in everything, [ presume ?
"WeIl, [ don't know whether he owes
Fav or not, but know he owes abou
every man of my acquaintance. Wh'
is Fay? I'll look him up and see II NJ
doesn't owe him too. I'll bet he does.
-Merchant TraCeLer.
AT THE STAMP WINDOW.
"Has postage been reduced to tive
cents ?'' ''Yes'm."
"For letter?' "Yes'm."
.sThen two cent stamp will actual,
carry a letter ?" "It will"
"And there's no need of putting ol
three cents?" "Not bit :"
'Do you know Mrs. Blank !?
"No'm."
"She says it's two cents in the city.
'It is two cents anywhere in the coun
try"
''She SAYS she sent letter to her hus
band in Chicago with a two cent staml
on it and he never got it," 81 can
help that, ma'am."
"Then two cents is enough !?
"Plenty."
"And her husband probably got tn
: letter and didn't answer it?" "Prob
ably"
"Well, I'll take two-cent stamp, bu
if there is any doubt about the matter
I'd as soon pay more. 1t will go, wi
it?"
; ''Yes'm."
500 right out to-day?"
"Yes'm."
"Wen, [ hope so, for it's a very in
portant letter You know Mrs. D
who lives on - street ?"
"No'm."
"Well, it's for her. She lives in Bu
: falo now. She asked me for the bes
way to pickle mixed" The woma
had to stand aside for two or three mil
4 utes, but as soon as the window WI
/ clear she returned to say: "I've got ii
stamp on,