National Republican., 1883-01-17
rR1A1s or AN orr1cr sErKrn.
An Ex-Appllcant For Consulate Tells Ills
Experience.

Jacob ID. kcmple, OF west virginia, IN series
of artistic sketches brimfull of genuine fun
The lecturer prefaced his experiences by
gravely reciting catalogue of his own vir-
tues, the most conspicuous of which was q
shrinking modesty that prevented his making
known to the people Of the country his rare
talents and his shining excellence ofohamcter.
! Pertectng his Christian theology by stumping
| West Virginia and Ohio for the Republican
| party, thereby increasing the democratic vote
| by fifty ballots for every speech he made, he
waited for the auspcious moment when tho
| world should recognize him That moment came
| when, after three months hard work for Gar
| field, the latter was elected. The lecturers
! friends then suggested that an Office was the
| only proper recognition for his services and
\ he agreed with them. He got Blue Book
and culled out the places he thought would
suit. His modesty prevented him from seek
| ing big place. so he picked out small
1 diplomatic position in Europe paying only
| $1,000 or $4,000 year, This done, he set to
worlcrreceiving the unsolicited testimonials of
| his friends. These testimonials, on file in the
State department and forming part of
the archives of the nation, whose accuracy
no man could deny, prove by the evidence of
| fifty disinterested and prominent citizens of
the country that, for purity of character, elo-
quence of oratory, and power of intellect as
well as for devotion to the party, he was une-
| the country, but.th world. In fact, until he
read these testimonials he was ashamed 20 say
how ignorant he was of his own excellence
and ability. Armed with these Endorsements
he came to Washington in February, 1891.
As he walked up the avenue to his hotel with
his gripsack in hand, he felt so Big that Gen.
Grants biggest overcoat wouldn't begin TO
have mado him u vest. To anticipate, he re.
mained until June, 1881, when little Senator
Mahones coat-tail would have made him
whole suit and an ulster thrown in
The new administration came into power,
and few days after q friend proposed to him
that they call on the secretary of state and
present their credentials. To this he as
sonted, although he was not in very great
hurry. 1t was possible that the administra-
tion might get into u snarl shortly, for oxtri-
cation out of which they would be glad to
call upon his clear, powerful intellect, and
ready Judgment of men and things. He
would be glad, of course, to help good fellows
like Blaine and Garfield out of difficulty.
And hence he wasn't in hurry to.go to Eu-
rope But he went to the State department.
His introduction TO the secretary was espe-
cially feictous and the graceful cordiality
with which the premier received him made n
conquest at once. The secretary shook him
warmly by the hand, was very glad to know
him, had often heard of him, and would
he delighted to serve him. A cpnsulship ?
Why, of course. The "boys" must be taken
: care of, and especially one so able and active
as the present applicant. But before anything
could be done they would have to sweep away
the cobwcbs, so to speak, and get settled in
| their places. He must come again. " Glad
i to see you, my dear boy" repeated tho secre-
? tary with unction. You shall be taken care
, Of" All the while this conversation was go
ing on the secretary was greeting host of
IL other corners with the same cordial warmth
{ and heartiness. The office seeker then left,
{ remarlIing TO his friend that they had got
t the grist into the hopper. So they had, but
t up to date he had not seen anything but bag
Q Of shorts from that grinding.
D He left the State department feeling good
/ Bright and glowing dreams floated on pearly
q wings through his mind as he strolled down
: the sunny side of the avenue. He thought oi
I France, of her vine-clad hills, her storied
| cities, her treasures of art, her beautiful
l women, her sparkling wines. In fancy he
a revelled in the gay salons of Paris, arm in arm
0 with the Due dc Haversack, and won smiles
0 from the red lips of the charming Marquise dc
/ Nightcap. o. bright were the visions that
Q hoated through his mind that day. They
s still float.
= Washington was full of offlce-seekers at thai
s time-fully ten thousand, of whom at leas
i fifty We're from West Virginia. He shuddereC
y to think how many were from Ohio. Tht
Q hotels, the boarding houses, even the saloons
i were full of them, and it was asserted tha
4 some of them We're full in the saloons Wher
i hewent to the State department the street il
v front of that building, the huge granite steps
3 the columned portico, the corridors, the
s anti-room, each was filled with ofiice seek
s ers waiting to see the secretary. 1t wa!
/ like u country circus. He didn't car,
- under the circumstances to bother the "olC
man." but finally concluded he would go il
and see him. Trying to do so, he was con
fronted by a rigid-looking gentleman of color
who barred the way. "ls the boss in ?" sale
IA the oifice-seeker, in his offhand, western way
" Sab r was the reply from the black statu,
- before him. "The chap that runs the she
u bang, where's hep dontunderstandy you
% sah." "You don't, eh? WE'LL is the old maj
z, in? am particular friend of his, and wan
Y to see him." Have you kyard, sab 2" ~
n Ryard? What's that for?" "If you send il
n your kyard, sab, the secretary of state will de
# eide whetherhe can see you, sah." So the office
a seeker wrote his name on a card and the statue
a disappeared. He returned in o minute, say
y ing: Tho secretary, sab, is engaged with th
"a japanese minister; you must call tomorrow
y " at H." "Ill do it. Meantime, if you get
q chance tell him I've been here, and I'll Civ
y you quarter" "Call at IL tomorrow, sal! !
a He did So Tho secretary was engaged will
Is the Chinese minister but sent word he mus
l. "call at IL tomorrow" At II the next da.
"a he called. That was his business He wa
A. there for that purpose. He wasn't mucl
3 troubled himself, but he didn't want to disap
+ point the secretary. He kept on calling, eacl
N day, being told to come on the morrow, whicl
a morrow was long time coming. Finally h
"a saw the secretary, whose gracious warmth an,
n earnest promises again inspired him witt
,e hope AT length an interview with the Pres
n ident opened his eyes, He called on Mr.. Hit
A. at the State department to withdraw his pa
i pers. Hit was away, but tho private secre
re- tary was in charge of that office, and con
10 sented to see him. When the lecturer en-
10 tered the room the young man was talking
a. with some gentlemen, but finally dismissn
az them, came up TO him with his eyeglas
n- firmly rivetted on the card in his hand. !
10 short and unsatisfactory conversation fol
n lowed, and it was ended by the lecture
o. withdrawing his application for place
IA With much dramatic ability he related tn
"a experience of West Virginia German Office
m seeker when Gen. Goff was secretary of tn
navy. He closed by disclaiming any person
ality, his use of names being absolutely nece;
sary in the telling of his story, and not at al
al prompted by personal feeling.
ai Clerk McCnlmonts Silver.
'l' Complaints having been made to Pensio
- Commissioner Dudley that Mr.. McCalmon
., the chief of division in that Office had viz
G. lated the law in permitting hiswife to receiy
r, a holiday present of service of silver frol
y. the clerks in his division, Commissioner Duo
d, ley says, as the result of an investigation
II. that Mr.. McCalmont was totally ignorant
r. the plans of the clerks until he and his fan