The Republican journal., 1883-05-10
Buster and His Calf.


In the mountain region of North Caro-
| lima a man named John Foster was re-
Gently tried for assault and battery upon
the person of William Truitt. The first
witness was a wid-eyed, one eyed, rough
| bearded man. He was lame. He lost
| bis missing eye in a fight. This was his
tlrst appearance IN a court house, al
though he looked to be 80 years of age.
| There seems to have been an irreverent
admiXture of the sacred and profane in
| the makeup Of his name, which was
jeremiah Buster AS be stood amid the
crowd i'll the courtroom Il close observer
might soon have discovered that the
whole scene was new to him. When the
prosecuting attorney called him to the
witness stand, he limped around the
railing of the bar and took his seat on the
stand, the same being shown him by an
| officer of the court. He gaZed around
him with bewildered air, yet there was
! that in his demeanOr which showed be
had not parted altogether with the self
| assertion and independence characteristic
of the dwellers in the mountains. He
took i'll as much of the situation, per-
haps as one-eyed man could be rea-
| HoiittbiN pNtttb " wv VII IIS III Sl dt)-
pearance on the scene.
| Prosecuting Attornev-W What is your
name?
| Witness Squirting stream of tobac-
co juice on the floor that resembed the
discharge from the nozzle of a hose pipe)
Jeremiah Buster squire. They ginner-
ally call me Jerry, for short.
Prosecuting Attorney We'll, Mr.. Bus
| ter
Witness-Now, squire, don't call me
Mr.. Buster, eff you please. I'm sildom
called that, and
The Court Mr.. Witness
Witness Now, jedge, jes call me
jerry, eff you please. amt used to
bein called mister, and it sorter sounds
strange like. Jes call
The COurt-See here, sir: the court
wishes to warn you that if You answer
again in the presence of the court you
will be punished for a
Witness-Why, jedge, that little tow
headed-(with another oath, pointing to
the deputy clerk) made me svar the
tus thing don beto tuck the stan Ell
I YOU
The Court-Ar. Clerk, fine this wit
I llNSo 81 loi lllt uSt vi IllI)IOltI lUlISldSt
and for a contempt of court Mr. Wit
ness
Witness-Now, .jedge, ef you please
don't call
The Court-oilence, sir. Don't at
tempt to Interrupt the courts opinion.
HE court wishes to say to YOU that you
must not indulge in protane and improper
language III this presence. Answer the
questions that are propounded to You,
and do it in decent and proper language
Witness -Jedge, amt bin axed but
one question yt, and eff | didn't answer
that correct | wish | may he derned
The Court (eXcitedly) Mr.. Clerk, fine
this witness SO.
Witness-Why, what have i
The Court-Silence, sir. Mr. Sheriff,
take this witness to Jail and keep him
! there until he learns to behave himself.
AT this point the sheriff approached
Jerry to carry out the order of the court.
It seems that Jerry had not met the
sheriff since the latter was over in .Jerry's
neighborbood electioneering. Jerry rose,
and, graspng the hand of the sheriff
warmly, said, "Why, how are you, Bill 4?
| told you we'd put you through in our
deestrlck. You beat that tangle-eyed
houn that run agin you two to one in the
deestrick." The District Attorney here
arose and said that he felt satisfied the
witness did not mean to commit a con
tempt OF court. but spoke thoughtlessly,
and from force of habit. He hoped the
court would not send witness to Jail, at
least at that time, as he was the only
person by whom the State could prove
the ottense charged against the defend
ant i'll the indictment, and the trial would,
therefore, be suspended. The court re-
piled if the witness knew no better. it was
time he was learning; and he could not
be broken too soon of a bad habit, if it
had obtained such control over him as
to cause him to violate all propriety.
District Attorney-That is all true,
your honor, but if the witness be sent to
jail now, | shall be compelled to enter
nolle prosequi in the case, as the trial
must be suspended, as this is my only
witness.
The Court (atter a Witness,
! take your seat.
Jerry anchored himself again in the
witness box.
The Court-IIave yon ever been in
| court UclOle
Witness-Jedge, this is the fus time
We BIN IN courthouse, and ef it was to
20 over agln | wouldn't come-I wouldn't,
by hokey.
The Court In consideration of the
tact, the court will not now send you to
! jail, but
Witness-Why, jedge, | hope you
want tDlnkln OF sendin Nv me to Jail, was
ye?
The Court-The court had certainly
determined to imprison you for vour
improper language, and again warns
you that it must not be repeated. Mr..
Attorney, proceed with the case
District Attorney Mr. Buster
Wltness-NoW, Squire, please don't
call me
District Attorney-Oh, ask pardon.
jerry, were you present in August last
at Johnsons tan yard, in this county,
when a difficulty occurred between the
William Truitt If so, tell all about it in
your own way.
Witness-Well, squire, one night thar
was a turrible storm passed thro' our
make of the woods and bloWed down a
big poplar i'll the corner of the horse lot
and killed my speckled caf. Well, the
next morHin' my ole oman seeing as how
the caf was dead, said, "Jerry, reckon
as how the caf is dead, you mout as well
skin it and take the hide to the tan
yard" SO after got my breakfast tuck
my butcher knife and went out to where
the yearlin' was lynn dead
District Attorney-Never mind about
the calf Tell us what you saw of the
difficulty.
Witness-But, squire, | do mind about
the caf. Pm a poor man, and with me
and my ole 'oman a caf is a caf. Eff !
was rich like your town foxes, .nout not
er skinned the caf, but you see
liCtrint A lL.,,+