San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1883-05-17

about two blocks behind, and the
driver was laughing, and the minister
he got pale and said, my little man,
guess you had better drive and |
said, Not much Mary Ann; YOU
wouldn't Jet me run this funeral the
way l wanted to, and now you can
boss it, if you will and let me get out
but there was street Car ahead and
all of sudden there was an earth.
quake, and when | came to there were
about 600 people pouring water down
my neck, and the hearse was hitched
to the fence and the hearse driver
was asking if my leg was broke, and
a policeman was tanning the minister
with a plug hat that looked as though
it had been struck by piledriver, and
some people were hauling our buggy
into the gutter, and some men were
trying to take the old PAGER out of the
windows of the street car, and then
I guess tainted away again. o, it
was worse than telescoping train
loaded with CATTLE"
well, swan" said the grocery
man, as he put some eggsin funnel
shaped brown paper for a servant girl;
what did the minister say when he
came TOP"
Say! What could he say? He just
yelled 'Who-a!' and kept saving with
his hands, as though he was driving.
l heard that the policemen was going
to pull him for fast driving till he
found it was an accident. They told
me. when they carried me homo in q
hack, that it was a wonder everybody
was not killed, and when I got home
pa was going to sass me, until the
hearse driver told him
IT WAS THE MINISTER THAT WAS TO
BLAME.
I want to find out if they got the
ministers umbrella back. The last I
see of it the umbrella was running
up his trousers leg, and the point
come out by the small of his back.
But I am all right, only my shoulder
sprained and my legs brushed and
my eye black. I will be all right, and
shall go to work tomorrow, cause the
livery man says 1 was the only one in
the crowd that had any sense. Iun-
derstand the minister is going to take
a vacation on account of his liver and
nervous prostration. 1 would if I
was him. 1 never saw a man that
had nervous prostration any more
than he did when they fished him out
of the barbed-wire fence, after we
struck the street car. But that set
ties the minister business with me. I
don't drive for no more preachers.
What I want is quietparty that wants
to 90 on walk" and the boy got up
and hoped on one foot toward the
crutches, filling his pistol-pocket with
figs as he hobbled along.
"Well, sir" said the grocery man
as he took chew of tobacco out Of
a pail, and offered some to the boy,
knowing that was the only thing in
the store the boy would not take. "Dc
you know l think some of these min,
listers have about as little sense on
worldly matters as anybody? Now
the idea of that man jerking on an
old PAGER. 1t don't make any differ.
ence if the PAGER was 100 years old, he
would pace if he was jerked on.
you bet. said the boy, as he put
his crutches under his arm and start
ed for the door. "A minister may be
sound on the atonement, but he dom
want to saw on an old PAGER. lie
may have the subject of infant bap-
tism down finer than cambria nee
die, but, if he has ever been to college
he ought to have learned enough no
to say 'ye-up' to an old PAGER that has
been the boss of the road in his time
A minister may be endowed with SUI
blime power to draw sinners torepen
lance, aud made them feel like getting
up and busting for the beautiful be
yond, and cause them, by his elo
quence, to see angles bright and fail
in their dreams, and chariots of fir,
} flying through the pearly gates ant
down the golden streets of the New
Jerusalem, but he wants to turn on
for the street car all the same whel
he is driving a 2:20 PAGER. The mex
time [ drive a minister to a funeral
he will walk" and the boy hobblet
out and hung out sign in front o
the grocery, Smoked dog fish a
hali6ut prices, good enoug hfor com
pany."
A CUBIC inch of gold is worth $40