Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1883-11-22
An,muruas department.
DER VISKEY PEEZNESS.
CONVINCING REASONS WHY 1T SHOULD BE
MAINTAINED. HANS SAUERMILCH'S
OPINION ON "DER PENEFITS
wv TRINKING.'

AS I am der poss NIT peer saloon, itwas
yust right dot stand oop for dot peezness.
Nv man vas got a saloon NIT himself,
guess he vas know some dings about drinks,
amt it?
am aware dot lots NV fellers dot wants to
save mOnish vas dryin' to runs down der
peezness; der vas Shon B. Go-off, und Suse
Anthony, und Parnum's circus, und plenty
NV unner vellers but ven told you some
dings, I guess you would say, "Pully for
Sauermilch, his het vas level"
Der Ort to pc rum shop on every corner,
in every town, and den peezness would be
goot. Der viskey peezness helps emmy town.
No matter how dull peezness vas, peoples
will spend der monish fur drinks. Dis vas
broved efry tay. All over Nye York you
can find working mans dot vos complaining
apout der pay, und bromisin' dot dey would
60 on some strikes, because dey mems will
Spend feefty cents efry tay fur visky und
bier dot broves dot der liquor peezness vas
helpin' drade, amt it? ...t.
Und dot vas not der only way; der vas
menny unners. Nv it vas not fur Thinking,
menny public buildings would not peen
built desc prisons, and shails, und poor
houses, und inebriate asylums, und such
dings und eff desc houses vas not puilt, Wy
NV course der meganics would hafe nodtings
to do, amt it
Nv YOU don't got some rum shops in der
town, you Won't need no shall, und Nv
course, you don't want no sheriff, und vOt
would der politicians done:
Nv der vas no rum der would peen no
murders, no fites, no stabs, no licking your
wife, no nodting fur der newspapers und vot
would der editors done? Und vOt would der
lawyers done?
All mein freunds, pefore you run down
der rum, you yust tink Nv all dose tlngs.
,ol116 NV work
mitout liquor? Wy we would need no bo-
Ices, no charity commissions, no supe-
houses, no communists, no holdings.
Wv YOU hat no viskey shops, ware would
your poys spend der efenings? Wy! dey
would hat to stay at home, und it would kill
menny NV them to be cast into der same So
ciety as der mudders und seesters. Der
mudders could not tell dem der same sholly
stories vot dey hear NIT der saloon; dot vas
imbossible. Pesides, der saloon vasuvyuse
to der vamiley. Nv you hat son, und you
don't want him setting arount der hause all
der efening, you can yust send him to der
saloon, und he would not vary you some
more dot night. In all desc ways saloon
helps town ferry mOoch, amt it? Und it
helps you socially. 1t benefits your vamlly.
1t helps your sons to get Ockqualnted NIT
beeple dot dey would not uddervise know
mitout der saloon.
Der was nodtings like bier fur sociable-
ness-except viskey. Viskey vas little
ahead.
Der vos a time ven two freunds would
meet und ockschange der gomplements NV
ter tay. und den part. But der saloon has
done away nit dot cold way of acting. Now
ven two or dree freunds meet, und schake
hands nit themselves Won Nv dem will say:
'Let's have some dings? ." und dey will
walk into der saloon (der is always Won
handy und Won weller says: "Vot will you
dake ?'' Und der unner weller says: II will
take Ger same und den dey yust douch
dose glasses togedder, und say: "Here she
goes," und she does 60. Den der unner vel
Ter will say "Now you must dake some
dings nit me-" und dey 90 droo der same
performances nit demselves vonce more.
Dot was sociapility. Uvyou don't got some
saloons how you vas gone to done dot, eh?
Ven you ask man to dook Something's, you
don't want to dreat him to coat, or pair
of schuhs, a loaf Nv pread, or no such WOOL
ishness do you? Viskey enables man to
pury his thoughts. He will forget allabout
his hard work sometimes fur more as week.
It gifts man courage in running his haus.
Vot would man done mitout he thinks:
vas so meek as Moses ven I was sober, but
poots der schildren und der Olt woman vas
got to shump arount lifely. Mein wife don't
dalk pack to me den; NV she would, l lick
her like PLACES. / let her know | vas so
goot a man as vou she vas, or some unner
Vons also.
Viskey beaches man not to pc broud
NIT himself Ven a man was sober he wants
CLEAN CLOSE, und a goot ped, und blenty NV
unner dings. But ven he vas drunk, ne
vas not so stoock oop. He don't gare V0t
kind of CLOSE her wares, und ven it cooms
6ax
in der gutter as some unner places, una ne
dinks der curbstone vas pillar, don't it:
Liquor vas healthy doc. [ know me dot.
Yust you watch eny man dot keeps saloon,
und vas not doc stingy to trink his own
thinks. Yust you votch him und see vat a
pig pelly he vas got. You don't want some
better broof as dat, amt it? Ven / started
a saloon l vas ferry skinny, und now de
pOys gall me "old bloat." l vas getting
ferry fat.
Efry town likes to haf rich men, und
dere vas no peezness in vich man gould
got so rich so soon as in der saloon peez-
ness. Der vas a ferry pig profits in all kinds
NV trinks. Yust look at some boor young
weller vot was tending bar. He starts NIT
noding, und in a few yahrs he vOs got
schirts NIT frills, und dimond pin, und
a gold watch NIT chain dot Weighs den
pounds, und monish enuff to start saloon
NV his oon.
Look at me- l started bier saloon after
1 failed to get rich in der puggy peezness,
und now l got no droubles, und not work,
only to tap new kegs ven der unner Won
was dry, und rake in der stamps.
am freund do der working man because
dey are freund to me, und help to support
me. Ven der working mems vas mat init
ter posses, dey meet at mein saloon, und
trink bier, und make speeches, und say:
"Tam ter panks, und de rich peoples" und
tings like dot. I say so, doc.
Sometimes I vas mat. 1t vas ven VIM
mems und schildren COON here to peg mon
ish to puy pread, und ven say "No," den
dey say der husbands and waters spend all
der monish here. Vot vas dot dere peez-
ness? All vimmen tink Nv, was spending
monish on dress, und der Olt man must
work! work.! work!!! und haf no enshoy-
ment.
stick me to mein saloon. hat license,
und der government vas packing me; und
Murphy, nor der Vimen's Crusade, nor
emmy unner man can make me stop. Dots
der kind of vellers vot l vas.-Rccha6ite.
p@ A little girls mother told her if she
went out of the gate, she would have to
whip her, and in an hour the young one was
picked up in the gutter, in the midst of
mud-pie making.
II thought | told you if you went out of
that gate I'd whip you," said the mother,
angrily.
8But didn't do out de date, mamma"
replied the kid in whimper.
ssYes, you did, and you've been out here
in the street for an hour, and look like pig"
"But, mamma, didn't do out de date"