Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1883-04-05
More Fudge Than Fun,

Rough on rising talent: Brown
"Don't think you are doing as well as
you were last year, old man." Rob
inson-"But was not planting at all
last year" Brown Exactly so! That
is just il"
An unnatural grandfather: The par
lor of the mansion of Judge Ravens is
adorned with the portraits of a dozen
of his ancestors. The picture of the
father of Judge Ravens represents him
as an old man, while that Of his grand
father was taken when he was quite
young. Judge Ravens was showing
those pictures to Tom Higginson a few
days ago. "A by, judge" exclaimed
Tom, in perfect amazement, 'your
father must have been fifty years of
age before your grandfather was
born"
Somewhat difficult: Mrs. Josiah
Fender is very simple sort of q wo-
man. An old gentleman by the name
of Ryckman and his wife moved into
vicinity of the Fender mansion, on
Austin avenue. Mrs. Fender, who is
very neighborly, baked a nice cake
and took it over to the new arrivals,
81 have brought over some cake for
Mr.. Ryokmans children" said Mrs.
Fender. "But we had never had any
children" said Mrs. Ryckman. "Well'
then, give it to your grandchildren,
said Mrs. Fender.
Timely remarks by great editors
Editor Halstead-'I am sorry the
queen hurt her knee. Nothing frets
me more than these everlasting Euro
pean complications" Editor Waiter
son-"I cannot conceive how the acci
dent could have occurred in a country
which has tariff for revenue only
Editor Custom is everything
No American queen will ever sprair
her knee. This is singular, but how
true! Editor Bowles-"We shall be
surprised is such accidents as this have
any effect upon the growth of the lib
eral and independent movement"
Too much moderation: Bill Blouut
was selected by the Austin Debating
society to deliver an address on the
subject of moderation" Bill has en-.
loved classical education and is q
good earted fellow, but he is little
hot-headed. This is the way he began
his address; "Ladies and gentlemen
moderation in all things-Shut the door
will you? Moderation, ladies and
the door. ! say, shut that door. Mod
Grafton in all things is-Will you Of
will you not, you blank anticipated
fool, shut that door? Moderation IL
all things is q virtue" Just then au
other late conner opened the door and
we all shot out.
Strange" remarked Mrs. Brown:
81 have rung at Mrs. Smiths door
three times this week and | didn't sue
coed in raising anyone. | guess the
family is out of town" Possibly" re.
piled Mrs. Jones; "but Mrs. Smith was
telling me just now that she could tel
your ring among a thousand"
He was man who would weigh a
least 800 pounds, and when be said tC
his small friend, at whose office he hac
called on his way down town, "pi
drop in on you when | return" the
little man exclaimed, "Goshl" and
tainted away dead.
A teacher asked little girl who wa
the first man? She said she did no
know. He then asked an Irish child
who, looking very proud at being abl
to give the answer, said: Adam, sir.
"You need not look so grand about it,
said the first scholar, ."he wasn't al
Irishman,"
"Oh, dear, am all tired out!" ex
claimed Mrs. Shoppirghsm. "Yol
can't nave parcels sent to the depo
now without paying, you know, and il
an economical fit I've been luggini
this all about the city" and with
great sigh Of relief she took q spool c
cotton out of her pocket and deposite'
it on the table.
An Austin gentleman who was list
enipg to the commander of colore
militia company drill his men, wa
very much struck with the lucidnes
of the explanation of the d ference be
tween Fright about face" and "lef
about face" "'Tenshunl Left 'bou
face am perfectly de same az RICH
bout face, ceptin' hit am de opposite.
Information has been received of tn
| r. l-.T. ! e Ion