davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02
Anthracite Coal.

There are but four anthracite coal
fields in Pennsylvania, and their aggre-
gate area is but 4S3 square miles. Reli-
able engineers estimate that the amount
Of coal the four fields will yield, if the
present wasteful method of mining be
continued, cannot be more than $780,
000,0 tons. But the year 1882 has
taken $500, 900 tons of anthracite coal
from Pennsylvania mines. and it is ex.
pected that the amount taken will be
greater, rather than less, in future years,
so that the supply will be exhausted in a
century, if not sooner. Besides Penn
sylyania, Rhode Island and Virginia are
the only States which produce anthracite
coal, and their supply is Insignificant.
The service performed by anthracite coal
in the development of the resources OF
the United States has been so great that
the prospect of the exhaustion of the
supply, even . century hence, must be
regarded with much concern. The dec
laration that long before the century
ends anthracite coal will be q luxury
which only the rich can enjoy, will cause
popular demand that the wasteful
method of mining known as the ..pillar
and breast be abandoned, and that the
more economical method employed in
English mines be substituted for it.
1t is true that the supply of bituminous
coal seems inexhaustible, although the
annual product of our bituminous mines
does not much exceed $4,000, 600 tons,
which is about one-fourth of the coal pro-
duct in England. Ohio, which ranks
below Pennsylvania and Illinois in the
production of bituminous coal, can pro-
duce more than England. whose capacity
is already severely taxed. But the iron
and steel industries of the United States
could never have reached their present
but for anthracite coal, and |
the exhaustion of the anthracite fields |
will inevitably affect the prosperity of |
he country, unless inventive genius de-
rises anew fuel to feed our blast furnaces
md move our engines contingency SO
remote that the gravest considerations
'emain to urge economy in. anthracite
'oal.-N Z. Hail and Express.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02
Give Him q Medal.

On a Woodward Avenue car yester
day one of our solid citizens, whose
weather predictions have never been dis
puted since he was rated worth $50, 600
remarked to an acquaintance that thi:
was unusual weather for the last of De-
cember. He had hardly spoken when
an old man with a bundle under his arm
hoped up and replied:
at is eh? I'll just bet you an ever
dSlar that you are Mistaken
'.Isn't this unusual weather."
"NO, sir! I'll bet you two to one we
had just such December week three,
five and eight years ago. Put up youI
cash."
20, 1 don't bet on the weather; still.
think such soft weather at this time OF
year is singular"
'.Bet you three to one it isn't singu-
'larr' cried the old man.
81 told you 1 wouldn't bet.''
"Then don't be deceiving people with
your weather talk. Bet you four to one
you can't tell what the weather was in
September"
The solid citizen was bluffed into ST.
lence for moment and then he remarked
'.Looks as if We might have snow"
''Bet you five to one we don't see
flake this weekr' piped the old man.
''How can you expect snow when the ali
isn't cold enough to CONCEAL this moist
ureP'
Then it may RAIN
"No, it won't! Bet YOU six to one YOU
never saw rain with the wind where il
isr',
"Well, the barometer indicates storm
of some sortn' shouted the solid man.
'Ill take you on that, too, and bet you
seven to one that it doesn'tr'
The prophet seemed about to haul out
dollar, but he changed his mind and
fell back in his seat and growled out:
MAY be my thermometer doesn'!
stand at fifty-four degrees above"
mo. sir! No, sir! I'll bet you eight
to one that you are at least three degrees
out of the way! Come, now!"
But the solid man came not.-Dctroa
Free Press.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02
A Brothers Signature.

A man from a neighbOring town
wished one of our bankers to take his
note short time ago. The directors
said they would cash the note if his
brother would endorse it. The next
day in came the man with his brothers
signature on the note. The bank took
it and paid the money. When the note
became due the signer did not pay it
and the bank notified the brother.
That gentleman came into the counting
room in amazement and asked. ..What
have you against me?" didn't you
endorse note for your brother?" asked
the cashier. mot that I know OF"
replied the man. '.Isn't that your sig-
nature?" then demanded the bank off,
cial, producing the note. The man
looked at his name, written on the
paper and rubbed his eyes. YES" said
he. ''that's my signature. sure; but /
think he might have allowed me to
write itr' He paid the note.-Leviston,
Me- Journal.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02
The Royal Fleece Of 1850.

The flunkeyism displayed toward Mrs.
Langtry recalls to writer for the Gin
cinnati Enquirer the pitiful spectacle
presented by certain Cincinnati ladies
when H. r. H. the P. of w. was in that
city. He says that the Prince graciOusly
permitted about twenty fair damsels to
witness the operation of hair cutting per-
formed upon himself in the parlor ofthe
hotel which he graced with his presence;
that he talked freely in German to the
barber who served him and made sport
of the twenty love-sick maidens' and
toadying American ladies generally who
treated him with more alteration and
reverence than he received in his own
country; that an enterprising glass
blower managed, by arrangement with
the said barber, to get possession Of the
cutoff royal hair. and after sealing it
up in small bulbs, few hairs in each
bulb, sold it at prodigious figure to the
poor young women. The "reminiscences
closes with the question: s.How many
ladies are there in Cincinnati who to-day
have locks of the Prince Of Wales hair?iA
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02
A Sisters Love.

Hostetter McGinnis, q society young
man, who is great beau, called at the
Longcofiin mansion, on Austin Avenue.
Misses Esmeralda and Birdie Longcoffin,
who are rivals for the affections of Hos
letter, received him in the parlor. During
the conversation he narrated a very
amusing incident, at which Miss Esmer-
aida burst into vociferous roars of laugh
ter, while Miss Birdie did not smile at all,
but sat upin her chair in very reserved
and solemn manner. She shortly after
wards excused herself, and withdrew
from the room, leaving her sister to en-
terrain Mr.. McGinnis.
"Your sister does not seem to have a
Keen appreciation of humor. l notice
she did not smile when L related that
humorous incident"
That's where you are mistaken MIR.
McGinnis," replied Esmeralda. "Birdie
has very keen sense of the ridiculous,
and would have roared until You could
have heard her a mile off, but she was
compelled to restrain herself"
lis she unwell?'
"No, she eats enough for three, but
she wears false teeth. and her new set
gets out of orderwhen she smiles, which
causes her friends to suppose she has no
sense of the ludicrous, but it is mis-
take. Ihave often told Birdie she ought
to live in Virgins"
..Why SOP" asked Hostetter.
"Because she has to readjust her teeth
so frequently. That's what she is doing
now. She ought to live among the re-
adjusters, where she would feel more at
home "-Teras Sittings.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02
A California Surprise

A purchaser of land in California al.
ways stands chance of finding it turn
out to be gold bearing, or to possess
stores of quicksilver, copper, or other
hidden wealth. One of these surprises
has befallen DR.. E. T. Burnette, of Oak
land, who bought hill near Los Gatos,
about sixty miles below San Francisco,
for use as pasture ground. 1t was
necessary to dig, in order to deepen a
well, and large number of blocks that
looked like ordinary stones were taken
out and thrown on one side in heaps.
Some of these stones, being afterward
used to build fire upon for cooking pur-
poses, were found to be highly combusti-
BILE, burning rapidly with blush flame.
Further examination showed that they
were simply solid blocks of sulphur. and
that the whole hill is substantially an
immense mass of this mineral. With
sulphur selling at twenty dollars a ton,
Mr.. Burnette's purchase has turned out
to be a greater mass of treasure than
many gold mines. Chicago Herald.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02
An hnpeeuni0us Man.

A foreign exchange thus helps to Ger.
culate the latest American story" An
American is travelling on the "Conri-
nong" with a party of Caygill's, and his
manner is SO grave and sad that COM
mittee of the tourists wait on him pri-
rately to his room at an Italian hotel to
ascertain, if possible, the cause of bis
depression. He receives the little depu-
tation with melancholy expression OF
facts, and after hearing the speaker re-
plies: " Gentlemen. l know I'm more
or less of q saturated blanket on this
party, but the fact is, I'm very poor
man-steeped to the lips. Imay say. in
impecuniosity. When tell you. in strict
confidence, that this is my wedding tour,
and have been compelled to leave my
wife at home, you can form an idea Of
the narrowness of my resources. %
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

During the past fifteen years s, so
churches have. been built in this country
During the past year sixty-one Con
gregationaiist ministers have died in thi
country, at an average age of sixty-fou
years.
The Cornell Memorial of New YorI
City is thought to be the largest Sunda,
School in the Methodist Church. 1t ha
total membership of LAS.
in New York public schools, accord
ing to the new regulations, instruction.
in singing are to be given in every grad,
except the first grade of boys.
"A gain of s;xty-twop per cent. the pas
year is the estimate Of the Southern
Methodists. Would all the denomina
tons could trrthfully report gain al
large,-N. Z. Examiner.
David Morrice, merchant of Mon
treal, has paid $4,000 for building ar
addition to the Presbyterian college
which was formally presented recently
The Young Mems Christian Associa.
ton has established branches at Cairo
Beyrout. Smyrna. Damascus, Jerusalem.
Nazareth. Calcutta, Hong Kong anG
Yokohama--Chicago Herald.
I'm the experimental kitchen in the
Iowa Agricultural College the girl stu
dents are taught the philosophy as well
as the practice of cooking. They learn
the chemistry and comparative economy
of foods, the usual authorizations and the
methods of marketing.
When the Derby Academy at Hing
ham, Mass, resumed its session after the
holiday vacation it was discovered thai
some one had entered the school-room
and distributed six dollars in money in
the school-books which were left in the
desks. The largest sum which was re.
ceived by single scholar was two dol
lars.-Boston Transcript.
1t is proposed that the centennial
anniversary of the pc zee of 1888 be cele.
brated by Sunday schools, colleges and
other religious and educational institu-
tons the world over with q "cosmopoli-
tan SERVICE" to begin when it is noon in
London. Oct. 81. The Cosmopolitan
Sunday-school Association has the matter
in hand.
Richard Boas. of Reading. Pa,
student in Williams College, is likely tc
gain considerable notoriety because OF
his alleged discovery of new method Of
finding square numbers. By this method
he simplifies the usual way in shortening
the process. At late exhibition before
Prof. Dodd. Mr.. Boss was given a mum.
Der of thirteen digits, and he produced
the square in less than one minute
Philadelphia Press.
Rev. George o. Barnes, the Mount
ain Evangelist, recently told reporter
that he had within eighteen months
anointed with oil 5000 people and eff.
fected about 600 wonderful cures. He
never, he says, employs physician in
his family. Il dip my finger in the oil
and anoint the part affected, and the
pain generally disappears" The same
gentleman also believes that the day is
not far distant when Christ will be seer
descending through the clouds.-M. Y.
Herald.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

-"Never kiss anybody on the mouth
says DR.. Hall, ''unless you are reckless
of consequences. What. do they evel
bite? No matter-we are reckless
Chicago Tribune.
Somebody put fresh turnover in
among those on the counter of Phila
delphia railway restaurant, and the
traveller who got hold of it was 80 aston.
ished that he gasped four times
iSonaeruiLLe Journal.
First swell: '.By Jove. Fred, this is
quite the highest collar I've struck yet
Second swell: think so, old man:
Well, don't mind telling you; it's little
idea of my own. It's one of the guvnor' s
cuffs"
Rev. DR.. Hall said that every rock
was sermon. When a boy was steal
ing apples from Mr.. Halls orchard, the
latter pelted him out of the orchard.
When the boys father subsequently,
asked him why he limped, he replied
that he was very much struck with one
of Mr.. Halls sermons.
The following explains the differ.
ence between "luck" and " chance
You take girl out to the theater and
discover that you haven't a cent in youi
pocket. You are, of course, compelled
to invite her to an oyster saloon, after
the performance. She refuses for some
reason; that's .'luck,' but the echance"
is million to one that she will accept.
Chicago Times.
AT a recent concert the trombone
player suddenly stopped playing much
to the establishment of the leader, who
demanded an explanation. The unlucky
musician apologized, stating that he had
blown two of his front teeth into the in
Ftrument; but his excuse was considered
100 thin instead of tooth out-N. y Com
s1erctdi. = ~ -,
d don't believe you have the water
Of the right temperature. You must get
. thermometer" said an Austin mother
10 the new colored nurse. What am
dat?'' sit is an instrument by which
gou can tell if the water is too hot or too
cold" 81 kin tell dat ar without any
instrument. Eff de chile turns blue. den
de water am too cold, and eff hit turns red.
den L knows dat de water am too hot"
TEXAS Siftings. q -----e
"A California man, coming home in
the night recently, stumbled over some
thing furry in the hall. With rare pres
ence of mind he did not give the alarm,
but crept around the animal which he
Judged to be bear. got his shotgun and
fired both barrels into the beast That
awoke his wife and gave her the hyster-
les, and when he got light and took
account of results, he found he had shot
his bearskin coat all to pieces.-Boston
Post. a.
Look here" said the Governor to
high State official, "when are YOU going
to pay me that ten dollars?" Upon
my honor, Governor, l don't know"
why, sir, the other day, when l men,
toned the fact of your indebtedness, you
asked me where | would be Tuesday"
''Yes, SIR" ssWell, wasn't that prom
.se that you would pay me tuesday,"
mo, sir. - 'Why, then, did you want
to know where / would be tuesday,"
because wanted to know where you'd |
be so 1 could make arrangements to be |
somewhere else. "-ArkdnSdW IraUelLer. |
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02
Dangerous Funeral Appliances.

The possible agency of the undertaken
in disseminating infectious diseases is not
sufficiently regarded by health authori.
ties. In many places public funerals are
prohibited in cases of infectious disease,
yet they are the rule rather than the ex-
ception the country over.
When the funeral services are held in
private houses, it is a common thing for
the undertaken to provide chairs or camp
stools for the multitude. These are car
ried from house to house. and are liable
to become carriers of infection. Some
careful undertakers may take the trouble
to disinfect such appliances in all cases
of possible infection; but we doubt its
being done very generally.
The ice-boxes, in which the dead are
laid until the time of burial comes, are
still more liable to carry the germs of
disease. The ice-bOxes are costly, are
seldom renewed, and are scarcely more
frequently disinfected. That they are
source of public peril is gradually be-
coming recognized by physicians and
Boards of Health; and not few have
taken an interest in the devising OF
means for their displacement. The most
promising substitute is the injection of
preserving fluids into the circulatory
system. Quite number of prominent
undertakes in this city and Brooklyn
are reported as having adopted the new
plan. Demonstrations of the process of
injecting preservative fluids have been
made in the dead house of Bellevue Hos
pital. No mutilation of the body is re-
quired further than the opening of an
artery for the injection of the fluid.
There are several fluids which answer
for the purpose, and the cost of embalm-
ing is said to be little if any greater than
the charge for the use of an ice box.
A careless embalmer may still be a
carrier of infection, but it would seem to
be easier to enforce precautionary meas
ures in the case of man than with the
bulky and variously exposed ice-box,
which may hold in succession the victims
of every sort of disease.-Scient.fc
american.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02
Florida Shell Heaps.

i.
The material and preparation Of the
Florida Shell Heap vessels differ from
those of other mounds, as those along
the coast region of that State and others
found throughout the United States.
The clay elsewhere is mingled largely
with broken shells and sand; in the
Florida specimens almost pure clay is
used, seldom showing any admixture
OF sand. though at times vegetable fiber
is present, which produces a cellular
and porous structure, which the original
makers have in part overcome by the
use of an outside film of slip clay. In
ornamentation the specimens are
markedly inferior to those from other
localities, less deliberately adorned, and
display only rude and primitive con-
ception of artistic design. They indi-
cate in this respect an earlier origin
than the tictile wares from the coast
mounds or those found in later burial
places. Stone implements were found
in considerable number, though nu-
merous enough to prove the acquaint-
ance of the shell-heap makers with
flint chipping, and though but seldom
buried deep in the piles, were incon-
testably coeval with their formation.
They consist of rudely cut celts, stone
chisels, knives or scrapers, arrowheads,
chips and fragments. all clearly the work
of mems hands. Implements of bone
were more frequent, but apparently
limited to avis and piercers, an office
for which bone, then and since, seems
very generally reserved. Implements OF
shell, as might have been anticipated.
were common. though very slightly, if
at all, varied in form, consisting of rec
tangular bits, ground down to edges on
one side, forming an efficient scraper,
cleaner, or bone wedge. Perforated
shells, possibly used for ornament. are
found near the upper surface of the
mounds, and drinking cups made from
the large univalve, Busycon perversa, are
similarly found near the surface. These
last objects are recent, and may have
been known to the Indians, who succeed.
ed, at long remove, the aboriginal in.
habitants. Pipes and metals are both
absent. Human bones were found from
top to bottom of these heaps-skulls,
legs, arms aud bodies-and, while some
were unbroken and entire, the condition
of others suggested the unwelcome
thought of their having formed part
of a canibaPs repast, conclusion which
some recent examinations by Lieutenant
VOgdes strengthen. He found large
bones. whose marrow might justly form
an attractive feature in an aboriginal
dinner, opened lengthwise, and bearing
every evidence of designed cleavage.
was really so common
among our Indians, at the arrival of the |
white men, that it would scarcely seem
to find its antecedsnts hidden
IN these early works.-American An
'iguary.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02

Colonel Joseph NJ. Bennett, the
owner of the Chestnut Street Opera
House, in Philadelphia, has presented to
Mrs. Simpsdn, wife of the Methodist
Bishop, gift deed of a farm of twenty.
five acres, adjacent to the Methodist
Orphanage, itself gift from Colonel
Bennett to charity. This land is assessed
at 81, 900 an acre and will soon be worth
twice that sum. 1t will be sufficient for
all time to come to serve the purposes
and needs of the Methodist Episcopal
Orphanage. The donor had disposed OF
the land in his will to the Orphanage,
but recently he resolved to see that it
was donated in his lifetime, '
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02

The French dialect spoken by the
creoles of Louisiana sprang up almost
entirely by ear. Illiterate whites and
Africans, according to the Journal OF
Pathology. catching the voluble utter
ances of the educated people around
them have altered. in their own way,
the sense of the words, producing lingo
that resembles French as curiously as
the extreme negro dialect resembles
English. Creole children of wealthy
parents are placed in charge of negro
nurses, and thus learn the patois before
they acquire the French.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02

-Covington. KY, boasts of citizen
who has not suffered moments pain Of
any kind in forty-seven years, nor has
ne had enough misfortune to bring one
sigh.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02

The boys in one of our grammer
schools call their schoolma' am '.Experi-
ence," because she is dear teacher
Boston Post.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02

-Middleburg, Pa, has the champion
absent-minded man. After milking his
COW he gave the COW the pail of milk,
took up the milking-stool and carefully
set it down upon the pantry shelf.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1883-02-02

Berlin with over 1,l60, 900 popula-
ton. has only forty-five places Of WOE.
ship.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1883-04-28
MEDICAL.
DENSON's SKIN CURE.
[From the Springfield Republican,
A GENEROUS ACT

That Will be Appreciated BY All Who care
for Their Complexion or Skin.
It Is not generally known that the nervous
system has q wonderful influence over the
skin, but this is q fact known to medical men
who have given much of their time to the
study OF diseases of the skin. No one can
have a clear and fair complexion, unmixed
with blotches or pimples who Is very nervous.
Whatever tends to q healthy condition OF
the nervous system always beantifies
the complexion and removes roughness and
dryness of the skin. Some skin diseases are
not attended by visible signs on The surface,
miserable.
We copy the following deserving and inter-
esting compliment from the Tribune, which
says: "Dr. C. ". Benson's New Remedy,
SKIN CURR,' is received by the public with
great confidence. and 1t Is regarded as a very
generous act on the doctors part to make
known and prepare for general use his valua-
BILE and favorite prescription for the treatment
| of skin diseases, after having devoted almost
| his entire life to the study and treatment
nervous and skin diseases, in which he took
great delight He was tor a number OF years
physician in charge of the Maryland lnfirm-
ary on Oematology and anything from his
hands is at once accepted as authority and
| valuable. The remedy is fully the article to
attack the disease both internally. through
| the blood, and externally through the absorb
ents, and is the only reliable and rational
| mode OF treatment These preparations are
only put up for general use after having been
used by the doctor in his private practice fol
wears with the greatest success. and they fully
| merit the confidence OF all classes OF sufferer:
from skin diseases" This Is tor sale by al
druggists" Two bottles. internal and externa
treatment, in one package: Don't be per
| su ded to take any other. 1t costs one dollar