Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-06-08
OUR OWN FUN.


A race horse. like the law. MUST al
ways take its course
An extraordinary thing in ladies
bonnets-A cheap one.
Why should tenant insist on low
er rent when all rent is hire?
The man who was above board has
got married and gone to housekeep-
ing.
Never smoke before ladies'" We
suppose one must let the ladies smoke
first.
A statistician has estimated that
courtships average three tons OF coal
each.
A we'll conducted husband, like a
we'll conducted candle, never goes out
nights.
Why is the vowel 'o' the only one
sounded: Because all the others are
inaudible.
Some housekeepers are so wasteful
that the more -four they have the more
they knead.
Nature has her own way of canning
fish, but she generally uses the pell-
can for the operation.
Don't get married if you wish to
20 to heaven. All matches end in
birthstone, you know.
A woman's heart is a small affair,
but it can upset the biggest man that
ever adorned this world.
A school girl refused to multiply
1.O00,O00,000 by 100000. because
she said it was too naughty.
A new book is called "My Watch
Below" 1t is inferred that the au-
thor's ''uncle" does business below.
A correspondent of The Transcript
asks, "What is Serkys tea" Possibly
it is something like circus lemonade.
A manufacturer advertises: 1.-The
strongest and cheapest bed in the
market" He must mean an onion
bed.
The individual man who "stole a
march" has been put in the same cell
with REPRESENTATION, the thief OF
time.
1.-THE novel of the period" is out.
We should think the demand for
such book would soon come to a
'full stop"
An old sea captain says that when
he's aboard ship he is never governed
by his mate, but when he is at home,
he always is.
A young lady, of rather indolent
habits, recently remarked that she
was going West to live, because out
there the tornadoes did all the sweep
ing.
"a reputashun." says Josh Billings,
"once broken, may possibly be re-
paired, but the world will alwus keep
their eyes on the place where the
krack was"
Brown was explaining to his wife:
"They call 'em canons because they
are big guns in the church, and be-
sides, they are always shooting off
their mouths"
Substitution.-A Vassar college
miss reads the prayer book response
thus: @As it was in the beginning,
now, and ever shall be, world without
men. All, me-"
An old lady who witnessed the
landing of William Penn in Phila-
delphia, recently, was heard to ex-
claim: "Law me! I thought Mr..
Penn was dead"
"Dear mew said Mrs. Darlington,
the other day. young girls, nowadays,
are not what their mothers used to be.
Half of them are sufferers from nerv-
GUS perspiration"
Typo is anxious to know if the
''Tales of Ancient Greece" are fiat
matter!" Yes, friend Typo, "Tales
of Ancient Greece are ''fat'' matter
just as much as "Tales of the Sea-
are Goldfish tails.
Said a railroad engineer to an
1rishman, whose COW had been killed:
"But she didn't get out of the way
when I rang the bell. Faith, thin"
said Pat, I'VE didn't sthop when she
rang her bell, nayther."
The New York Commercial Adrer-
tiser says that "tricycles and trousers
are agitating the English female
mind" Trousers have agitated the
female mind for ages-but there is
generally a man in them.
"Are you the chief engineer CT
this concern" asked an excited indi-
vidual of the SUBJ editor. mo, sir;
I am not the engineer; / am the boil
er." And he proceeded to ''boil
down" six sheets of manifold into a
note of six lines.
Did he steal the dog. Eyes, judge"
said the prisoner, II admit that the
back Of my trousers were tangled in
the dogs teeth and that I dragged
the animal away, but if you call that
stealing dog, no man on earth is
safe from committing crime"
A Denver Chinaman, who has gone
into the ice cream business recently,
has the following sign near the door:
''You catch 'em feezy belly two bittee
all the same Sian Flancisco" 1t is
more and more evident that we are
ruined by Chinese cheap labor.
"You love mer' echoed the fair
creature, as her pretty head oiled the
collar of his summer suit. eyes," he
said, tenderly, "you are my own and
only" "Hush," she interrupted,
"don't say that-be original. That
sounds too much like q circus show
bill"
Another koop-snake has been dis