davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-09-27
Her First Specs.

A woman who looked as if she had
been a long time in this vale of tears,
went into a popular and fashionable
jewelry establishment on Jefferson ave-
nue. and said:
81 want a pair of Specs
''This way said an obliging clerk
with his hair parted in the middle, and
he led her up a flight of stairs into a
long room where space was reserved for
optical purposes A small, nervous
looking man at once surrounded her.
'.Sit here" he said, placing chair
for her and hanging up an A, B, G card
in'afront of her, t'tixs your eyes on
that t.., ...-..- a,,.,..,,.
L AIM: going e, have my picture
taken, said the woman, tartly.! el. .a.
Certainly not, madam; you wish to
renew your eyesight. Just tell me what
you can see. on that card, 10. Do
you follow mea'4r ts.-.-..
Just let me have my par'sol and I'll
foller We. Ididn't come here to be made
fun Of. l kin read and write as well as
You kin, and count, too l want a pair
of specs"
q EXACTLY, but I should recommend
eyeglasses with such nose as yours,
/; madam 49, 80 -; =. =,
ts'What's the matter with nv nose,
hey? If it amt much of a nose, you
amt goin' to poke fun at it. - II
D'.It's beautiful nose,'' said the OPP
tician, firmly, sand would adorn a
handsome pair of eyeglasses Willvou
kindly look at this circle of lines? Do
they all appear to be of the same
size?'' ra1 ijea,..7.. ~ s... ...-...
|''Pear to be-? they air all of size;
no foolin', young man." 40. a.
Certainly not, madam; if the circles
appear to be, all of one size your eyes
are not defermed.
.,Deformed! Good gracious! who said
my eyes were deformedp IF ever /
heard of the like aT ,fr &c
.'You see, madam, we are compelled
to test the optic nerve and determine if
the person has presbyopia-
s.No, sir, I'm Baptist, and won't
stay here to be insulted-"
gs..You misunderstood me, madam; if
yo,r1are afflicted with hypomeopia in
either eye - lstai 10 - al
=, Look here, young, man, said the
woman, fiercely, 81 dare say you think
yous know a lot. but lIwant a pair of
specs: amt as young as used to be,
and ss.tz aG4 cG4D f.r-ti >,
oh. yes" interrupted the rash op..
tician, ''I see you are getting old and
But he never. finished the sentence.
When the woman came out of the store
she was trying to straighten out the ribs
of her parasol. and snluttering to her
self: ~, q~f rrs,s $50. - - =
s'Old, indeed Eve ruined a two-dol-
lar parasel. butt haven't lived all these
long years TO be insulted by being called
old! I'll find Some hardware store
where they speak English to get my
specs at. Old! the pertinent thing!"
Detroit Post and Tribune.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-09-27
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

"A factory in Elmira, n Y. ''turns"
out between two hundred and three hum
dred augers daily, and is the only in
dustry of its kind in the State.
Another Pennsylvania has discov-
cred a new mechanical force, and wants
us all to stand on tiptoe to hear it hum.
His name is Bromi1y, and he claims to
multiply power without fuel.
A Georgia farmer, after making
practical experiments, announces his
belief that an acre of melons will yield
as much syrup as one of sugar-cane,
while the former does not tax the land
near so heavily as the latter. The syrup
has a peach flavor.
"A Maine man has invented ana
constructed a great improvement on the
Indian birch canoe, being made of tin,
and to avoid the great danger of upset
ting or filling with water and sinking,
or being swamped in rough water, he
has conveniently arranged on either
side a series of air-chambers.
We have in the Southern States in
operation, or in course of erection, 191
cotton factories. This outnumbers bv
twenty-seven all the cotton factories in
New England, outside of Massachu-
sets, and exceeds by sixteen the num-
Der in that State.-Putdski (Tenw.)
Citizen.
To remove fsh-bones from the
throat, Professor Vololini, of Breslau,
recommends a gargle composed of mu
ratio acid, four parts; nitric acid, one
part, and water, 24O parts. The teeth
have to be protected by lard or oil. The
fish-bones become flexible. and they dis
appear entirely after short time.
The Germantown Pa.) Telegraph
notes the fact that, as the Western
BILE competition with each other in the
butter, vegetables, ETC., the East is COM
ing back to wheat-growing, and urges
the seaboard farmers to jump in, raise
all the wheat they can, export the sur
plus to Europe, and thus arrest what is
called "the drain of the agricultural
districts to supply emigrants to the
West. In fact it says. 1.-THE Eastern
farmers have suffered in many ways
from a policy wholly adverse to their
interests, which has built up the West
at their expense
To build ship so that in case OF
accident to the bow the stern half can
be instantaneously separated from it.
and can continue the voyage securely
and easily on its own account, is the
latest contribution to the list of safe
guards against the dangers of the sea.
The idea is that of German inventor,
and is set forth with some detail in the
Hamburg Courier, which sees no rea-
son why it should not be entirely feast
BILE. Irwould require many departures
from the present mode of building yes.
sells. as well as from their internal ar
rangement and equipment; but the in.
ventor asserts that, as whole, a vessel
so constructed could be fully as sea-
worthy and swift as any built on the
present plan, and would be twice as Sc
cure against disaster.-N. 7. Sun.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-09-27
The Dorsey Letters.

The New York Sun prints couple of
columns of correspondence, the same
being letters which passed between
prominent Republican leaders during
the Presidential campaign of 1880, and
which 90 to make it as plain as the
nose on a mans face that Garfield and
Arthur were elected by the most wicked
and prohigate use Of money and favor
'itism. Several of these letters are from
Garfield to Dorsey. and they show be-
yOnd a shadow of doubt that the
former was aware of the rascahty that
was being attempted, and that he act
ually knew how and where much of the
corruption fund was to be spent.
There are also letters to Dorsey and
Jewell from Blaine, Allison, New, Tom
Plat, John III. Forbes and the good
Deacon Smith, of Ohio. Between the
lines of someSof these one may read Of
a gigantic plot to destroy popular SOW
ereignty, and of the most outrageous,
INSCRIPTIONS and devilish schemes to
debase the franchise that ever villains
conceived. Indeed, rascality enough is
plainly written of by the authors of the
letters, written in black and white, SO
that now, the letters having been made
public, people may see and judge for
themselves what manner of men have
stood at the head of this, once
proud and honorable Republican party.
From one end of the country to
the other the local and State leaders
were calling upon Dorsey for money!
money! money! Only send them money
with which to buy votes and the party
of great moral ideas could be saved
from impendino defeat. Even the GOOD
Deacon Smith wrote to Mr.. Jewell: 81
new tell~you that as matters are now
going on in Indiana and Ohio, we are
beaten in both States. There should be
$4,000 judiciously placed in each State
within the next ten days, and tsOo-thirds
of it should be reserUed for uSe on cleo
ton day" This was within less than
four weeks of the October election.
John c. New wrote of the successful
efforts to induce several of the great
railway kings to influence their en-
ployes to vote the Republican ticket,
and Garfield himself wrote of San inn
portant side arrangement the italics
being his own), which one of his inti1
mate friends had made, and which he
{Gar6eldl believed would of itself make
Indiana safe for the ticket. These are
not forged letters. They are copies of
the originals, and no one. directly
affected by their publication will dare
denNtheir gentiineness.STh The disclosures
are sickening indeed, and if anything
more were needed to convince an
honest and patriotic man that the Re-
publican party ought to go. these letters
ill the gap. And we understand that
the end iSnotsye t.-Boston Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-09-27

Any Democratic organization Which
trades and bargains with the Republic
ans in the coming election; will be strik-
ing direct blow at the success of the
Democratic party, and will be working
for the continuation Of the Republicans
in power.
With aunited Democratic party in the
State representing all Democratic or
CARNATIONS victory is assured. With a
Democratic party in this city united on
candidates, or even with three tickets
in the field, all the local Offices will be
filled by Democrats.
No bargain can be made by any DEM
ocratic faction with the Republicans
without giving the latter the lions share
OF the spoils and thus strengthening
them for the Presidential fight of next
year-N y World
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-09-27
PITH AND POINT.

A restaurant announces eighteen
carrot vegetables soup" Chicago I11-
6u7ae.
AS the New England tobacco crop
promises unusually well this year We
can expect a fine line of imported
cigars presently.
Some people are never satisfied.
Show them how to live happily on a
small income and they will want you to
furnish the income.-N. o. Picayuaae.
-''My dear Polly, 1 am surprised at
your taste in wearing another woman's
hair on your head" said Mr.. Smith to
his wife. '.My dearest Joe," 1 am
equally astonished that you persist in
wearing another sleeps wool on your
back. "-Bostoaa Post.
Two white tramps have been sent to
the chain gang for throwing kisses at
the young ladies of a Georgia SEM
mary. The privileges of the American
citizen seem to be getting very limited
indeed.-N. Y. Commercial Adrertiser.
DIR. Chalmers used to say that when
one is in the act of tipping his hat to a
lady whom he supposes to be an ac-
quaintance it requires a good deal Of
tact to make believe that he is only
scratching his forehead when he finds
she is a stranger.
~ Zone fellow might hang around a
surf swimming place for weeks and
never have chance to rescue rich
mans daughter from a watery grave.
Another would grapple milfionheiress
the very first day and be invited to her
house to dinner. 1t is all luck.-N o.
Picayune.
"A lady subscriber wants to know
how to catch husband. We have had
no experience in this kind of sport per-
sonallv, but we have known a husband
to be caught by his wife as he was
leaving bar-room. When she got him
home, we believe she caught him by the
hair of his head-and the husband. well,
he caught particular Jesse.-Detroa
Post.
In a new light. 81 have been with
YOU now three MONTHS said the junior
clerk, and 1 think l ought to have a
salary something nearly commensurate
to my services. - "H'm'' replied the
employer; ''well, times haven't been
very good; you haven't had very much
to do, YOU know. Couldn't think of
giving you more than fifty dollars
month"; Clerk-''Beg pardon, sir,
| am not to blame because you haven't
done business enough to keep me busy.
expect to get paid for what know,
not for what 1 do" Employer-.Oh!
That puts the matter in a new light.
1 shall give you five dollars month
hereafter ~. Y. Graphic.
81 IL tell you, pard," said old Jimmy
Cannon, guide, 1.-The West has lost its
romance. Only little while ago, it
seems to me, where once there was
nothing but the whoop of the Indian
and the, song of the six-shooter, now
there are railroads and churches and
commercial men and high schools and
three-card monte men and lecturers ant,
daily newspapers and every little while
a natural death. Why within two
months, if the blasted papers tell the
truth, several men have died in Wyom-
ing of disease. l tell YOU, it looks as
though us old timers would have to
move away. When we have to wait for
lingering disease to snuff us out it's time
to light out for the frontier. "-LarG,his
BtImeTQn0.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-09-27
No Negotiations with the Enemy

Before this time next year we shall
be in the heat ofha RfeSdSntiat contest.
The RepublicanswiH use their best en-
deaxOfs in the Interim to distract and
divide the Democratic party and to
strengthen themselves in this State by
fssir Ssees s sEtiS Ras.SaaS Is
a884. without (which She election of
their President is hopeless.
Every Republican paper rejoices over
the. facfoaa action Of the Democratic
State Committee. The Roosevelt reso-
luton was i'm the direct, interest of the
Republican party. .. :. Il = =
Following this act of folly come ru-
mors of negotiations between the County
Democracy and the Republicans to run
I a combinations local ticket this year.
under the fraudulent name of n ''citi-
zens'" ticket. in order to ''beat Tam
many"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-09-27

children, than she was In the ola Gays
when she was like a wild rose in June.
Grandmother made q Quaint, oid-1ash-
toned courtesy, and everybody went
over and kissed her.) ,soy% (. !
But.we won't talk of grandmothersh
particular, we'll talk Of wrinkles in gen
eral. When I was a boy was taught
to look with respect on wrinkled lace.
Each wrinkle means great deal; ~
means suffering and care, and anxiety
for Others; for that old person has been
very selfish, indeed, who has lived only
for himself Few have been so selfish.
Yesterday, as / was crossing South
Ferry, I saw, a wrinkled hand before me
on the rail of the boat. 1t Was al mans
hand. It was hard and brown. Ana,
though the man himself had his back
towards me, read him from that hand:
He had his Sunday coat on and tall
hat, but the hand was the hand OF a Ia
borer. The wrinkles were made as
muchsb by constant, use as by time. 1t
was an honest hand, and I-grandfather
thought it would be more fitting to
gentleman to kiss that toil-stained hand
than the hand of the Sovereign Lady
who rules the British Isles, and one '6f
them at least, SO badly. When therfian
turned his face grandfather saw heswas
not mistaken The face was an. honest
one, and when the boat touched the
wharf. with an awful bang against the
woodwork, two boys, neatly dressed,
sprang to meet the man, and called
q Father" Those wrinkles had been
made in daily toll that these nice, bright
boys might Be kept nice3I ands bright,
and good. .aH t7oss 4 ai abrfG Sd I'D
s. Each wrinkle in your fathers face
means day of anxiety OF toll fol, you
For whom does he workp For you For
whom does your mother plan, and mepd.
and economical? For you.
Do you think that because people
grow old they do not slike rleasaDt
things? Do youthink that it is no5sac-
rifice to toll and MOL day .afteraday2
Thatiparefts are bound tOswork, work
work, so that the young may have al
the sweet things of life, and accept them
thanklessly, like little princesP = ~
Grandmother likes "a new ribbon for
her cap occasionally, as well as ahy7of
you girls. She doesn't ask for itobut
then she likes ayosr to think of itfall the
same. And I think Mediterranean
ing those caramels Kate gays, her, as it
she Were seven instead OF seventy.
c. For shame, grand father, only sixty
eightrO N''snportc, as the French say,
two years do not make much difference,
but am sure she seems younger to me
every day hristiuss at Work. -' s~J
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-09-27
Wrinkles.

Iwondcr, children, if when you look
ut your grandmother who. sits there
nodding in her chair -t''I WASH 7
asleep" says grandmother, with a
start; "Of course not returns grand
father, with twinkle in his eye)-I
wonder if, when you look at those
wrinkles in the dear grandmother
face, you think of the thought and the
care and the trials that helped time to
make tLem. She is sweeter TO me.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-09-27

An incendiary's = contriYapce, for
setting fire to carriage factory in Wal
Conn.,, consisted Of 4 shoe-box
filled with combustible material covered
with turpentine and topped off with
lighted candle.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-09-27

"A North Chatham On. W farmer
mas dog that climbs trees. Itrecentlv
captured raccoon. after desperate
tight, in the high branches of a chestnut
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-09-27

! "A Louisville A(Ky.) father got wind
OF the fact that his daughter intended
to elope, and proceeded to, act Tin a
somewhat ulconventiohalI mdp4erS He
said he would be Dan fuckered il there
should be any Ieloping in, his family, so
he " laid = for the couple. He caught
them atrtwo clock in she morning and
hustled them before a Justice OF the
peace. where he had them married in
regulation order. himself acting as mas
ter OF ceremonies. - oaasttlle Courier
Journal. - aitis "3 l1lp y
Mexico weekly ledger., 1883-03-08
An instantaneous LigIIf.

Such in word is the unique alp
paratus on exhibition at the rooms
of the Portable Electric Light Com
pany, % Water Street, Boston. Mas
sachusetts. 1t occupies the space of
only five square inches and weighs
but five pounds, and can he carried
with ease. The light requires NO ex-
ira power, wires Or connections, and
is so constructed that any part can
he replaced at a small cost. The
chemicals are placed in glass re-
tort; carbon and zinc apparatus,
with spiral platinum attachment, Is
then adjusted So as to form a battery,
and the light is ready. The pressure
on little knob produces an electric
current by which the spiral Of plaii-
mum is heated to incandescence. The
Portable Electric Light Company
was recently incorporated with cap
itai of 500, 900, under the laws of
Massachusetts,. Some of the promi-
nent business men Of the State are
identified with this enterprise. In
addition to its Use as a lighter, the ap-
paratus can also be used in eonDec-
ton with burglar-alarm and GAL
vanic battery.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1883-03-08
Literary CuriOSities.

The poet, Richard Henry Stod-
dard's brilliant narrative of the "Life
of Washington Irving" forms No. 4
in the elegant little Elzevir Library,
and is sold for the price of only six
cents. After all, cheap and hand
some books are not limited to the So
called ''piratical reprints" as this
illustrates: the publishers paid Mr..
Stoddard $500 for the manuscript
Of this sketch-which is tax of only
a half-cent each, when charged over
to one hundred thousand of their Gus
toners. Fo. of the Library, also
just issued, contains Andrew Will
sons s'The Sea-Serpents of Science,
price 2 cents. and No. 6, Tennyson's S
famous "Enoch Arden," price 2 cts.
lin former years sold in large edi-
tions for 81, or more, per copy. And
yet, these numbers are in beautiful
type, handsomely printed on excel
lent paper. Sold by all dealers. Jno.
B. Alden, publisher, Is vesey St.,
New York.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1883-03-08
CITY OFFICERS.


NJ. E. CHURCH. SoUIH--Services in the NJ. Z:
Church, south, every Sunday at 10 80 A. NJ. and
= 3eP p. M. Rev. It. j. Gooeh, pastor. Prayer
meeting Wednesday evening at 30. Sunday
School at 9 a. NJ. j. M. Marmaduke, Superin-
fendent.
BAPTIST CHURCII--Seryices at Baptist Church
every Sunday morning and evening. Prayer
meeting every Wednesday evening. Rev. j. C..
Armstrong, Pastor. Sunday School at A. NJ.
James Carroll, Superintendent.
PREsBYTERIAN CHURCH--Servlces at Presby-
terfan Church ON Promenade street, by Rev. DIR.
St0ddert every sunday, alto 80, AM, and 80
P. NJ. Lecture and prayer meeting every Wednes-
day evening. Sunday School at 8 A. NJ. j. 2.
Blanton, Superintendent.
CHRISTIAN CHURCH--Serylces at the Christian
Church every Lords day at 10 80 A. N. and 80
p NJ. Prayer meeting Wednesday evening at
7:30. Sunday School at 9 80 A. NJ. b. L. Locke,
Superintendent, Il. f. Dobyns, Secretary.
OLp-SCHooL BAPTIST CHURCH--Services at the
Old School Baptist Church every fourth Sunday
in each month. ElderJ. +. Lee, Pastor.
LIBERTY STREET NJ. E. .CuURcH--Servieesa at the
Liberty Street Methodist Episcopal Church every
Sabbath morning and evening. Rev. j. Wayman,
pastor. Prayer meeting every Wednesday even
ing. Sabbath School A. N. j. Wright, Super
infendent.
EPISCOPAL CHURCH---Services in Episcopal
Church on 1st and Sd Sundays in each month at
IL A. NJ. and 30P. N. Rev. Peter Wager. Rector.
CATHOLIC CHURcH--Services at the Catholic
Church every Sunday. Father Dempsey Pastor.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1883-03-08
SOCIETIES,

A. o. U. W. meets every Tuesday evening q
Z 80. j. A. Spence, P. NJ. W.. ;-E. 8. Frost, NJ
w; J. j. Winscott, G. F.; r. n. Armstrong, o.;
d. T. Gentry R.; r. W. Harding, Receiver; s.
l.. McKean, +. s.
Crusade Commandery-S. 8. Craig, Eminent
Commander. meets third Tuesday evening Of
each month, at 80 p N. E
Mexico Lodge No 26, A. +. and A. NJ. list FRI
day night In each lhonth at P. NJ. j. Nj. Marni-
aduke. W. NJ; L IL. Hightshoe, S; w; J. +.
Llewellyn, j. W.; james Carroll, Secretary; E
GHis; tiIiisi, Irsaiieg James C,ashsr o1S Tyer %
Mexico Chapter No. "a, Royal Arch, meets the
End Friday in each month s. NJ. Edwards, II
p, j. NJ. Marnaduke, Secretary.
Hebron Lode No. 354, "A. F. and A. NJ. regular
communications 1st Tuesday in every month at
I: 3oP N. M. Riley. w. NJ,
10. 20. F-Mexico Lodge No. 80 meets every
Thursday evening at their hall in p. NJ. Morris
building. j. NJ Riley, N G.
Audrain County Medical society meets every
Friday evening at clock. DR.. T. A. Keeton,
President; Dr.. w. w. Rodman, Secretary.
Salt River Lodge, No 1886, Knights Of Honor,
meets lst and 81 Thursday evenings at Ken:
mans Hall. j. Med. Trimble, Dictator; T. W
Harding, Reporter.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1883-03-08
POST OFFICE.
POST OFFICE-
GEoRGx A. PorEEr -. ............ Postmaster.
many

GEoRGE A. PoTEEr- -. .............. postmaster.
DAILY MAILS
st. Louis mail arrives at 2: 10 p. m. and 2 p
q. m. (nfght1
ST. Louis mail closes II m. and ] p. m.
Chicago mail arrives at 3 % a. m.
Chicvgo mail closes II and p. m.
kansas CITY mail lby c. & A. Z. b. arrives at
Il 35 d. m. closes Top. m.
SC. Louis and Chicago maal (viaC. & A. r. R)
arrives at 8 /: 30 g. M, closes II 20 p. m.
Jefferson City natl arrives at i2 10 y. m.
jefferson City mail closes 8: Top. m.
Western mail arrives at "a p. m.
Western mail closes at p. m.
West Hartford and Perry mails arrive at |: 80
q m. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Close
ct 8 q. M. same days.
Santa Fe mail arrives at ~ m. Tuesdays and
Fridays-departs 20 D. IN. same days.
Young 8 Greek and Long Branch nSails arrive
at II m. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.
Close at II 30 p. IN. same days
Modoc and Younger's mail arrives ft IL q. M
Saturdays Closes At p. m. same daf.
Posi- Oaice opens at z q m; closes fat ?. m.
0pea Sundays from Z to 0 p m. l.
~ Money orders on all. impoftssf points IN
shs United siatss, England and frellfnd.