National Republican., 1883-07-10


Johnnys pistol will be SILENT
Johnny's missing now.
Chicago New.
Mrs. GRIMES, wife of the Iowa senator, ha
given 81 900 TO young ladies' college at Grinnell,
Iowa
THERE are in Boston sixty-nine women
taxed 100000. FIVE over s5OOOOo, and two over
81 100000.
WHEN travelling on a railroad it is said
that lying with the head toward the engine will
sometimes remove q headache.
Ice by the cargo can be bought at Bangor
for forty cents ton. Fifty pounds for cent is
cheap enough for frozen water or anything else.
A TEN year old girl of Dennison, Iowa,
studied night and day to excel in her class. Sud
denly her memory left her, aud now she is an
idiot.
THE Hotel Dam, of New York, is more
generally mentioned than any other hotel in the
country. Sometimes the syllables get transposed
and mixed.
A WOMAN was sunstruck the other day
while out shopping. Women never get sunstruck
when they keep away from dry goods and mlli-
| merry stores.
A MAN must feel very "tred" when he at
tempts to blow the froth Off Charlotte russo un-
der the impression that 1t is glass Of beer.-Nep
| Fork Commercial
THE way Chinese. e.laundries are accumulate
| ing 1t really does look MS though the moon-eyed
lepers had come here to clean out the country
Boston Transcript.
THE Health Journal says that you ought to
take three-quarters of an hour for dinner. 1t is
we'll also to add few vegetables and piece of
meat.-0R CITY Derrick.
DIGBY has been working hard at Italian all
winter, and resolves to try little on newly ar
rived cmigrant: "Parlate Italiano, signorg" Emil
grant-"Arrah! Now what are ye givins us ?"-
| Life.
| "HADN'T / better pray for rain to-day,
deacon?' said Binghamton minister Sunday.
Not to-day, dominic, think" was the prudent
reply 1.-The wind isn't right."-Bmghamton Re-
publican.
SERGEANT MASON is still in tho peniten-
tiary for merely attempting to shoot Guiteau, who
has since been put 20 death by the government
The government is still at large.-New Orleans
Pcoyilne.
THE Northern Pacific railway is rapidly
solving the Chinese problem. 1t killed a score or
more OF the peculiar people a few days ago, and In
the last three years has succeeded In passing over
1000 of them to the majority.
HERE is sticker propounded by the
| Courier Journal. How do Bostonians expect other
Americans to say cahn't for can't. when can, the
| Culel WOIu HOlu WIllCu GILL ID uellNcuJ Ceuu De
| correctly pronounced calm.
THE king of Bauaria has appointed n niece
OF the late Richard Wagner to be Royal Profess
sor OF the School OF Music" this being the first
appointment of the kind which has ever been
given in Germany to lady.
THE first general census ever taken in
India, which has just been completed, shows n
population of 253, ,S9l sl0 nearly five times that
of the United States. The number of males ex-
ceeds thatof females by 100000,
A BosToN merchant advertises: "Parties
going out OF town for the summer can have their
statements of accounts promptly forwarded by
leaving new addresses. Please state to what
street and number the last postal card was sent
BISMARCK ON LARD.-W Wilhelm: "Vell. Pts
marck how ish de news by the morning babers?"
Bismarck: "Oh, dey haf dreemjus excitement
by Shicago. Dey bust lard corner. on efery
one by de Unided Sdades go crazy. You see vat
droubles safe Yermany by keeping dot sduF
oud .-0l City Blizzard
A PRETTY romance is told about BENJAMIN
p. Cheney, Boston millionaire. 1t is said that
he waited many years for beautiful wiGow to
marry him, which she agreed to do when she had
raised her daughter. The waiting becoming too
deliberate, he married the daughter, who loved
him without condition, and she has made him u
noble wife.
A POET speaks of the "faint, swift, silken
murmurings-a noise as of all angels flight, heard
like the whispers of dream across the COOL clear
, northern night" The Norristown Herald has OBJ
tanned from some unknown source the inorma-
ton that an angels hightsounds like man think
ing upa scheme to acquire enough money to spend
O short season at the seashore this summer.
THE mayor and aldermen of Portland, Me-,
have just voted unto themselves free admission
to all places OF amusemant. and Will "wear u
badge of appropriate design" SO they may be
recognized by the doorkeeper. The Burlington
IidtOkeye suggests the head Of hog on a coffin
plate as being extremely appropriate under the
circumstances; or, perhaps, the whole hog would
, be still better.
! AT the recent dinner given in Paris by o
former resident Of this city, the table was bed of
flowers banked with strawberries of the largest
size gilt wire baskets filled with roses and an ex-
pensive satin fan at each lady's pldce The ices
were served In wheelbarrows made of nougat, over
the sides of which were tumblng apples, peaches,
pears, and grapes, all of different creams and
water ices.
THIS is the season for hard times among
many OF the members Of the dramatic profession.
7 The stars and leading members, Of course, are as
a rule not alone able to take care OF themselves.
but to indulge in uxuries, on the proceeds of the
winters campaign; but the great army Of those
who fell by the roadside with unsuccessful COM
binations are in sore straits. One young woman,
q clever soubrette is ut present working for SO q
, week for the same dressmaker who used to make
her dresses, and right glad she is to get this It-
tance for 1t enables her to keep body and soul to-
gether.-Ne0 York MAI.
, PROF. JOHNSON, a coored lecturer, who
: holds that the world is fat says "Ten thousand
r miles beyond the north pole there is probably
another world with another people. Its inhabi-
, tants are, perhaps, trying to discover this world
| and an attempt at discovery our part may re.
/ suit in the voyagers meeting in space and ex-
: changing air biscuits and water by the way. The
color of the people is blue, their cllmite 500 de-
grees below zero The distance Of the fixed staiI
cannot be told to an ineh and from careful meas
urement with the eye it is certain that the dis
i tance Of the sun is about $50 miles"
n RECENT discovery on the head of the
, Cowitz river establishes the fact that Washington
territory can now boast OF the grandest waterfall
a In the known world, its height being 1900 feet
/ The Nooksack Indians assert positively that
= = waterfalls higher than the tallest fir, pine oI
& cedar tree are to be found on the extreme head.
waters of the Nooksaok river in this county. Al
that section OF the county has never yet been ex'
plored by the white man, there is no good reason
= for doubling the statement. From the comparison
given by the Indians these falls must be at leas
+. 475 feet in height, which would lay over the
: famous snoqualmie falls, OF King county, by al