Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-05-16
Higher EaucHsaea.
From the BROOKLYN Earle.

another on Fulton street, twill you 20 with me
tonight and hear Professor Stone lecturer"
'Who's he? and what will he lecture about?"
'Oh! he is lovely, Boston man and Is going
to lecture on the Higher Education of
Women Ma says It will be very instructive
and pa says it's only for a lot Of old shriekers,
and when pa and ma talk like that know it's
something worth hearing"
us it about that awful Tewksbury7"
"oh! my, no, it's about Columbia College, and
chow NICE" interrupted the other. "Wonder
If he'll sing any class songs. Cousin Ned is q
Columbia boy, and last vacation he sang more
funny songs. Did you ever hear this
wish were o-pOt-a-mus;
would swim the broad Euphrates and eat grass.
It's too cute for anything; and then there was
mo, no. dear" said the intellectual Young
lady; q tits about admitting young ladies into
this college. Ma says:
"W' goodness me. Mamie Cousin Ned told
danced and firted, all this at the college, aud
this Mr.. Stone pretends that no women have
ever been admitted"
"But. Nellie dear, he means the admitting Of
women into the Ssiiege as Students"
-. On. tnat! well, thank my stars! I've grad
uated, and don't want to ever hear Of books
again. 1t makes my head ache now-cram,
cram. cram; but my dress was lovely. Did
ever show you our badge? It's too sweet
black enamel crescent and q gold star below"
MA says that we women should vote, and
only by higher education can women gain
strength and throw off the yoke"
"What y0kef" qusried Nellie, innocentlv.
ooh! don't know; they are always having 1t
out over some such question, and pa says If ma
had her way men would be home tying knots in
would be as lofty as guZzling beer till midnight,
and then pa turns up his nose and ma cries and
don't hear any more about Morgan Dix or
higher education that night"
"Speaking of vokes Mamie. reminds me OF
that lovely Mother Hubbard gown. The yoke
was Irish point and trimmed"
"Oh, Nellie please don't mention dresses
now. Ma says that we are on the eve of
mighty upheaval; that women are to demand
ooh. Mamie, you giddy thing; telling me not
to talk about dress and here you go-and that
makes me think. I'm going to dye that old
gray cashmere terra Gotta and make it with q
long p0lonalse-"
O'DonOvan Rossi. He's another hero, as ma
calls all these women's rights men,"
"1s he from Boston, tOO?"
ooh, no. He's the man that brought over
the Bartholdi statue and Cleopatras needle"
"Where on earth do you pick I'D SO much In
formation, Manner" said Nellie, bending an ad-
miring glance on her friends new hat.
well, one can't help listening said Mamie
with superior smile, land ma is always talking
aud pa can hold his own, so l get the benefit of
all their conversation. get all the religious
and higher ed ucation from ma and politics and
dynamite talk from pa"
But you used to be always talking about art
and culture and tone now"
"Oh, that's old. Ma says that was first a
passing fancy. but this higher education is the
thing now. win you 20 to-nightS" '
"Would love to, but am going to the opera
with Cousin Ned Good by, dear; tell your ma
I'm coming to see her soon." and the young
ladies separated; each impressed with the ide
she had spent very profitable half hour.
Wednesday Whatnots.
fyou ask a bald-headed man how he would
prefer to be upholstered, he'll likely express
desire for mo'-llair on the top of his head
Yonkers Gazette.
They were counting Don't sit so near me- {"
she said: I" amt near YOU" said he. "You
are" II amt" "But you will be-" mo I
won't neither" 'Then you'd better go home.
for haint got no use for YOU" No cards
Cincinnati Drummer
A patent medicine man wrote to the editor of q
religious paper enclosing $5 and saying: EN-
closed please find $5. for which I want you to say
that my chill medicine is the best in the Market
The editor replied: 81 am thankful for your
opinion OF my paper as an advertising medium,
but l cannot conscientiousy say that your
medicine is the best, consequently l decline
your proposition" 'That's an honest man."
unused the advertiser ''Some men would have
hello he didn't return the $5'- Watson's
IQ,cn,inatOr.
Will you please tell me what crock and rye"
Is: and what it is good for?-Edith. It is a
mixture of rock salt and rye bread, and is good
for dyspepsia. Philadelphia Ne,cs.
"Ma, what is grass widow2" asked a Har-
lem youth who had been reading in the papers
about person Of that description. "Why, my
boy. 1 can't explain it exactly" replied the
>1&l ~
smart younester. Well, tell me" "A grass
widow is female woman whose husband died
of hay fever" he exclaimed. Then he went out
In the kitchen and rubbed the cats nose with
red pepper. Times.
The Philadelphia Ne,cs explains the difference
pc newspaper man. and journal
ISL 1t says: "a newspaper man Is one who
has been writing editorials for eighteen or
twenty years. Journalist is one who began
police reporting about week ago."
Cheek is one of the hardest worked business
capitals In the country. Boston Globe
It is now fashionable to speak of the night
robe as the knapsack. C2eceiand Herald
Lady friend; $50 you are going to graduate
next month, Cellar Dear me! what time of it
you must have I suppose you are nearly tagged
out" Celia: ooh, dear. no. mamma hires a
dressmaker and she does all the sewing. All I
nave to 90 fs to try on: you know" Lady
friend: "Ah. yes. see. boston Transcript
"a Cav lld6 ullle lives. But even that doesn't
enable you to comprehend how you can hear
her, or him. as the case NAV be, spit and sqnau
and yell in fifteen different places on four shed
roofs and two fences at the same time. Alas.
now weak and vain thing is science, after all?
Burlington Hd,okeye.
Literary Matron-''What does Shakespeare
mean by his frequent use of the phrase Go
tor"
Matter-of-fact Husband-"Well, perhaps he
thought 1t wouldn't be polite or proper to
finish the sentence. London Punch.
A Young lady being told at recent fire to
stand back or else the hose would be turned on
her, replied, 80, don't care, they are striped
on both sides, any way."-C Columbia Spectator
De very man dat tells yer that clothes doan
make de mare ia de one what looks ter see how
yers dressed. Use done dis myself
Traveller.
Professor in Latin: "Mr r.. will YOU please
scan some!" Student: Professor don't think
Exchange.
The Traveller gives us the important news
That Weli-formed spotted fawn was born at
the deer park on the Common this morning. It
is to be hoped the mother enjoys the thrift
that follows fawning. "-Bosio,s Commercial
Bulletin.
The question is now being mooted: VIII Patti
n rt<RHk 70 H-f