davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-31
Domestic Economy.

One of the witnesses before the
United States Senate Committee on Ed
ucation and Labor made the sensible
remark: Il believe more in domestic
than in political economy" There is a
whole volume of sound sense in this
pregnant little sentence. The science
of domestic economy is less understood
among us than, perhaps, in any other
country in the world. Nowhere is it
better understood than in France. The
United States is the paradise of butch
ers, and of all other classes who deal
in the staple articles of necessity or OF
luxury. Even in the humblest homes
there is vast margin of waste and ex-
travagance. Miss Juliet Corson has
shown how good dinner for three OF
four persons, and embracing several
courses, can be provided for less than a
dollar; but in how many houses are
her excellent recipes followed? It is
not an exaggeration to say that two OF
three hundred thousand persons could
be comfortably supported on what is
thrown away every day in the week in
New York. The politicians will take
care of political economy, SO far at
least as drawing their salaries and saw
ing the Republic are concerned. 1t is
the domestic branch of the science
which ,:ecds more general cultivation
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-31
Teaching Him a Lesson.

"Yacob, dells you moro as hum
dert dimes alreaty yit dot you moost
NIGHT sprech pack on me in Scherman
dalk.''
''Fader, l forgit sometimes"
'You moost NIGHT dot sometimes for
dot. You moost like your fader him
done when him vas a boy"
''And what was that, fader?"
II moost English sprechen all der
dimes when don'd vas SO pig as
leedle toy yit. Und you see dot vas
Why got me dot language to fine
pind down.
':Fader, do you want me to learn you
or you learn me?''
Eur Why you dose way dalk? You
make me aschamed fon meinselef fon
you"
II can speak English better than you
can now, fader.''
"Gott i'm Himmell! You consuld
your fader dot way! Ven I vas half not
so pig like you sprechen me dot Eng
fish dalk SO weller as a schulz deacher.
You got you doc schmard! You dinks
you more as your fader knows? I
schook dot schmard fon you oud! !
learn you vone lesson-you moOst NIGHT
more schmarder peen as your fader.
Dem pad company vas What der mad
der vas nit dem pad poys like you.
When vas poy yit I knowd four
dimes more as mein fader, aber I don'd
told him dot. vas doc schmard for
dot. don'd vas so dumb like you!
OUT mein fader him dold dot him
hang me by mein coat-collar oop nit
his left handt und whip mein pehindt
NIT cow-skin hide shoost like dis"
But he didn't show Yacob how it was
done. Yacob was too smart for that
He knew four times more than his
father. That's why he lodged out and
boy rate.-Kenkucky State Journal.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-31
WHOLE NUMBER 400
A Stand OFF,

A certain English publication gets
into fearful stew over what it charac-
terizes the ''disagreeableness'' of Amer.
lean tourists. Said publication aver
that the average American traveller is,
all in all, most offensive compound;
that he dresses badly, talks loud and
coarsely, and impresses his very ill.
breeding upon every one with whom he
has to do. After q long consideration
of him. the English paper comes to the
conclusion that he is fresh and objec
tionable in every way. We have prob
ably sent our quota of imbeciles across
the water. Every year lot of litter
ates who have ''struck ile'' or hit bo
nanza in pork-packing, go over the
| dark blue sea, discriminating every,
body with their loud and ill-worn cloth.
ing, their affected refinement and their
natural and apparent coarseness. Al
some time in their ''towers." good
many of this gang probably strike
England, and disgust everybody there
as they do here. We acknowledge and
confess our manifold would be but wav.
Oft aristocrats, and we do it frankly.
But isn't there another side? How
about the singular beings with outland-
ish boards, uncomfortable trousers and
abnormal belted frocks who pour in on
us by scores from England every yearf
! What has our trans-oceanic contempt
rary to say about the multitudinous
and extensive checks upon the apparel
of the bold British tourist-checks al.
most loud enough to be audible? Then
the monstrous single eye-glass, the prev,
alence of the first personal pronoun
in conversation, the reference in the
latter to ''Hingland" at almost every
word, the frequent and uncomplimen.
tary comments upon this country, in.
variably made in the presence of some
of its people-all these must be ex.
planned. There is no gain, saying the
assertion that we have our percentage
of travelling idiots, but-well, England
keeps up with the procession.-Will.
transport Breakfast Table.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-31

In the course of an address on the
fish supply before an audience of Irish
fishermen at Billingsgate Market the
other day, Mr.. Blake, NJ. F., related
that several years ago the supply of
Holsters at Dunmore, in the county of
Waterford, having begun to fall Of, it
was suggested that the breed might be
improved by importatious from North
ern Europe. Scandinavian Holsters
were accordingly introduced in the
Dunmore waters, but the Irish Holsters
resented their advent SO furiously that
the dismembered corpses of the new ar
rivals were strewn on every shore in the
neighborhood of Dunmore. At this
point in Mr.. Blakc's discourse an an
cient Irish fisherman from Connemara,
who had been listening with eager at
IGNITION, exclaimed: .'Begorra! after
that Oi'll have 4 vineration for the lob.
,tar Oh piver had before
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-31
Such Music as Indians Make.

At the camp after the parade at Sam
ia Fe, N. NJ, the Apaches put aside
much Of their finery and gathered in
groups for games and songs. Their
singing always attracts crowd to tho
tents. The fashion is to sit in circle,
the leaders in a row, provided with
tomtoms or other sounding instruments
and the rest Of the party with twigs, ii
which they can beat time on the palm
of one hand. Two Comanches, rene
gades from their own tribes and known
as Comanche John and Domingo,
handsome fellows with hawk eyes and
perfect teeth are the best singers in the
band. John has provided himself with
large dishpan. His knees are spread
far apart to hold it. A half dozen 9TH
ers have tins of various sizes the small
est being dipper. Buckskin has been
stretched into drum covers for joints of
stove pipes and for kettles. Bows tight
ly strung rest upright between the legs
of three or four others and one genius
has fashioned 4 rude instrument with
strings resembling banjo. Every per-
| former has a stick about double the
length and thickness of lead pencil.
John or Domingo sets the movement,
and when all the little tins and tomtoms
have caught the rhythm, which is fast
regular beating and the bow strings are
drumming and the palm switches fall
! ing in time with it, whoever may be in
the lead starts song. A compass OF
five notes is rarely exceeded except to
strike an occasional octave and there is
invariably minor refrain. The entire
band keep at this for hours with only
occasional momentary resting spells.
As the song goes on members Of the
circle rise, three or four at time, and
bob up and down with deacon like faces.
The bobbing is said to call muscles into
play that would soon exhaust persons
not accustomed to it, but it locks like q
tame and lazy performance. The sig.
nal for the end of it is given by an old
fellow with striped reed, ON which he
pipes asuccession of nerve-trying notes.
Cor. Buffalo Courier.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-31
How We Tried To Lick The Teacher.
TOLD At THE OLD SETTLERS MEETING.

Iwuz boy O seventeen, ungainly. dull and
tall,
Ez green e n, ez any gozlin. but Thought knew
Invent to school at Piano. 1chopped up wood
Fur Zcphaniah Wilkinson to pay him fur my
board.
One day Philetus Phinney, another boy in
school,
About fo ez rough an raw ez 1-about ez big a
Just limited in private way, twould be a right
smart featur'
An give US lots O. glory, if we'd up an lick
The teacher.
He wouldn't ask no better fun than list to
make him climb.
We'd hev a long vacation an O whopper of a
time.
The teacher he wuz sicky-he wuz not ez big
I knew that we could bounce him if we didn't
half but try,
Fer eny one on lookin' at him would said on
sight
Their wasn't eny sand in him, an not speck O.
fight.
hangn' on to plows,
TO holm corn, to cradlin' wheat, or mtlkin'
twenty COWS.
Phi.etus said he'd use him fer mop to mon
II floor,
An when he legged an hollered that we'd hist
him out the door.
We told the boys at recess of the plot thet we
he'd planned;.
They sed il we couldn't down him they'd lend
helpn' ham.
But big Philctus Phinney, he WuZ tickled ez
To think we thought snip like that could lick
chap like he;
F I'd kick the bucket over, he'd make the
He'd flop him in the water and mop it with his
pants
We heard the school bell ringin' we scrambled
Iran against the water pail on pupus, course !
fell;
struck upon piece of wood an badly raked
The water sweshed upon me an wet me to the
skin.
That scrawney little teacher, why! he bounded
He took me by the trousers an he held me in
the air.
Then round an round an round he whirled me
An when seed thousand stars he sudden lei
me drop;
He took me an he shook me till thought that
He swished me with his ruler till my pants were
While big Phie us Phinney, he were just toe
scared to laugh,
He let the teacher thrash me till bellered like
acalf,
An all the other fightin' boys, with white an
frightened looks,
Sot shaking in Their very boots an rastlin' with
Their books;
An o how hard they studied-nota Teller spoke
or stirred
They didn't dare to whisper or say single
word.
+ Where is that lite teacher that guy me SIGH 6
scare?
He still is peaked ookin'-he's settin' over
thar
An though he is nearly seventy and sickly
yet, I vow,
I'd hate to hey him git those hands of his upon
me now.
He taught me one great lesson by fogging ii
his school;
That braggart ard bully are coward an
foo.
From away Out Wcst."-by Eugene j. Hall
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-31

The old manse still stands at Concord,
Mass, as when Hawthorne wrote
thirty years ago. 1t is old, gray and
implanted. Inside it is snug. cozy
and attractive. On one of tho
tiny window frames is legend in Haw.
thorne's handwriting, telling how Uns
Hawthorne looked out of that window
on Winters day, and seeing the snow
and the trees like snow chandeliers, was
much pleased, though she was only 10
months old at the time. From the old
garnet to the cellar spirits of antiquity
rustic and sigh, and the ghosts of per-
sons and writer seem to start at leyity.
The present owners are descendants Of
the original possessors.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-31
Army Punishments.

In different sections of the army,
various expedients were resorted to for
the purpose of correcting minor ofenses.
What particular shape the punishment
should assume depended very much
upon the inventive faculty of the Field
and Staff, or of such officers of the line
as might have charge of the case.
Before taking the field, few citizen
sneak-thieves were discovered providing
about among the tents. These were
promptly drummed out of camp to the
tune of the ''Rogues' March," the whole
regiment shouting in derision as the
miserable fellows took to their heels
when the procession reached the limits
of the camp, where they were told to
be gone, and never show their faces in
camp again on pain of more severe
handling.
If, while we were lying in camp, a
man refused to do his duty, he was
at once taken to the guard-house. which
is the military name for ''lock-up. :"
Once there, at the discretion of the
officers, he was either simply confined
and put on bread and water, or else
ordered to carry a log of wood, or a
knapsack filled with stones, ''two hours
on and two of" day and night, until
such time as he was deemed to have
done sufficient penance. In more
extreme cases. a court-martial was held,
and the penalty of forfeiture of all pay
due, with hard labor for thirty days, or
the like, was inflicted.
One day, down in front of Petersburg,
a number of us had been making q
friendly call on some acquaintance
over in another regiment. AS we were
returning home, we came across
what we took to be well, and, wishing
drink, we all stopped. The we'll in
! question, as was usual there, was moth.
ing but barrel sunk in the ground;
for at some places the ground was SO
full of springs that, in order to get
water, all you had to do was to sink d
box or barrel, and the water would soon
collect Of its own accord. STOPPING
down and looking into the barrel in
question, Andy discovered man stand.
ing in the we'll, engaged in bailing out
the water.
whats he doing down there in that
hole?" asked some one of our com.
pany.
why said the guard, who was
standing near by. and whom we hai
taken for the customary guard of thu
spring, '.you see, comrades, our Colonel
has his own way of punishin' the boys.
One thing he wont let 'em do-he wont
let 'em get intoxicated. If they do,
they go into the gopher hole. Jim,
there, is in the gopher hole now. That
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-31
ARun on a Druo Store.

Never was such rush made for any
Drug Store as is now at the City Drug
Store for Trial Bottle of DR.. Kings
New Discovery for Consumption.
Coughs and Colds. All persons affect
ed with Asthma, Bronchitis Hoarse-
ness, Severe Coughs or any affection
Of the Throat and Lungs, can get 8
Bottle Of this great remedy by calling
at above Drug Store. Regular size
l 90.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-10-31

The bicyclists are beating the fastest
horses. The Australian who rode 70
miles an hour has been beaten by an
Englishman. who has ridden 20 miles In
fifty-eight minutes. But the champion
riders name is Howell. who just rolled
over the ground Mt the rate Of mile in
''1n minutes and forty seconds.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-10-16
"Every single article. :"

The DREAM OF YouTu.-The
dreams we so fondly loved in carly life
may just as quickly pass away and
leave nothing but q scared and desc
tatc path behind. The proud hopes
which spring unbidden in the human
heart, may die and fall as fell the
plague on human man. The monu-
1nents of beauty and art which have
been reared by mans creative genius
may crumble and turn to dust, but yet
PERUNA the great remedy, will still
be acknowledged to be the greatest
of all medicines, and will still receive
the praise which SO rightly belongs to
it. Thousands have received benefits
it, aud have shown their apprc-
citation of it by their testimonials to
that effect. Ask your druggist for
this great remedy, and for the PAM
phIet called the q Ills of Life,'' or
address DIR. S. 3. Hartman & Co.,
Columbus. Ohio, and they will send
you one free.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-10-16

Clerk of the Circuit Court.
o %is9s5 g l8gsaER Esprit Fec s5ssl
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-10-16

AsIIBURSHA,I, MASS, Jan. II, 1880.
i have been very sick over two
years. They all gave me up as past
cure. 1 tried the most skillful ply
sicians, but they did not reach the
worst part. The lungs and heart
would fill up every night and distress
me, and my throat was very bad. 1
told my children should never die
in peace until 1 had tried Hop Bitters.
I have taken two bottles. They have
helped me very much indeed. I am
now we'll. There was lot of sick
folks here who have seen how they
helped me, and they used them and
are cured, and feel as thankful as I
do that there is so valuable medi-
cine made.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-10-16
MISCELLANEOUS.
Too Much for Him.

The Young man with two watch
chains across his vest boarded a
Woodward avenue car at eleven
o'clock yesterday forenoon. Among
the passengers was an old woman who
had been inquiring about taking the
Bay City train at the crossing. She
looked across at the young man with
great interest for minute or two and
then said:
"Your time must be very valuable,
young man.
He bowed and mumbled some
thing which she did not catch, and
leaning forward she asked:
81 s'pose one o'then watches is
for when you go down, and the other
is for when you come up, eh?''
He shifted around TO look out of
the window, and seeming somewhat
vexed at his want of courtesy, she
continued:
I" Seems to me it would be cheaper
to hitch an eight-day clock to your
shirt BOSOM %
He didn't reply to that, either, and
tapping him ON the knee with the
handle of the umbrella, she inquired:
Young man, want to catch the
Bay! City train"
"Ycs'm."
what time is it by all your watch
chains?'
about ]" he stammercd.
"You don't look. Come, now,
here's an old bulls eye that's been
in the family forty-eight years, and
never had an inch of brass chain
hitched to it. I'll bet it shows the
right time nearer than anything
you've got
She hauled out watch almost as
large as a saucer, ratified it around
and waved it about, and as she slid
along on the seat towards the door
she continued:
''I'd let them chains run down and
hitch to your boot straps! Any
young man as will go and toggle
himself all up and crisscross his vest
with chains and spangles, must have
got strayed away from some twenty
five cent store and wants to be identi-
fled and returned. Have you got
baked Eaters hitched to the pocket
ends? Say-!"
But he dropped off and fell down
and got up and got away before she
could further abuse him.
Detroit Free Press.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-10-16

Our work has been sold al through Jefferson
and adjoining counties. and has always given
satisfaction in every particular.
1t is DIR constant aim To work tho very best
matcrinl. and to do all work in a iirst-cnsS man
ncr. and as to orr prices VIC pledge ourselves to
do work as low or lower than first-clHss work
can jc done for elsewhere.
II parties wisl. to consult us in regard toworlS,
and do not tinh it convenient to visit our fac
tory, we WILL if notified by postal card send Il
representative of the firm to visit them Mt their
homes. and give all necessary information.
Secondhand vehicles aud good Horses taken
in exchange for work.
We Keep constantly n large variety of New
Vehicles in stock, and have also Secondhand
Carriages, Buggies &c, which we sell very low.
\. l. ANDERSON & co.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-10-16

A "summer failure in the interior
of the State started out the agent of
a New York wholesale house the other
day, and when he reached the town
he found no satisfaction beyond an
empty store.
'sDo you claim that you sold out
the entire stock?" he demanded in
amaZement.
"Every single article"
''And where is the money!"
"Well, you see, that's where was
lame. went into business deter
mined to make the town howl. l had
$4,000 worth of goods. 1 contracted
for 81, 800 worth of advertising and
printing. Then put my price down
to fifty cents on the dollar. What I
got for the stock 1 paid to the printer.
and came out only ninety-eight cents
behind. l call that mighty close
figuring for q man who was Dcddling
fish up to a year ago!'
eyes, but you owe us s3,OoO!''
howIed the agent.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-10-16

WISE BS9FIs ei9 2gays Sn ts lGs 15
earnings. and III time become wealthy; those
who do not improve their opportunities remain
in poverty. We offer great chance to make
money. Wowant many men, women. boysP sd
girls to work for right in their own local
titles. Any one can do the work properly from
the first start The business will pay more than
ten times ordinary wages. Expensive outfit
furnished free. No one who engages fails to
make money rapidly. You can devote your
whole time to the work, or only your spare mo-
mcnts. Full information and all that Is needed
sent free. Address STLNsOE e Co, Portland,
Maine. December 10. 1SS2-1y.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-10-16
Mrs. JULIA C. Cusu1NG
W1rsrON. FORsrrH q. N. C.

NITsTOS, FORSYTH Co., n. G.
Gcnts-I desire to express to you
my thanks for your wonderful Hop Bit
tiers. 1 was troubled with dyspepsia
for five years previous to commencing
the use of your Hop Bitters some six
months ago. My cure has been won
derful. I am pastor of the First
Methodist Church of this place, and
my whole congregation can testify to
the great virtues of your bittcrs.
Very respectfully,
REV. II. FEREBEE.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-10-16

S. S. Dalgarn is constantly rcceiv-
ing Boots and Shoes, for the fall and
winter trade, which he purposes to
sell at the very lowest living profits.
lie will make it to your interest to
call and see him before purchasing
elsewhere.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-10-16
SpIiG-Rotton Chairs.

TIME undersigned would hereby inform the
i public that he continues the manufacture
of SPLIT-BOTTOM CHAIRS of all kinds
Arm, Rocker and Plain-of the best material
and at low rates. Table Chairs furnished at
$40 per dozen; Childrcn's Plain Chairs 40 cts.
each; Children's Rockers, so cts; Ladies' Rock
crs, 81 Gents Arm Rockers, 50. Other Chairs
prOportiOnatcly low. Old chairs rc-bottomcd
on short notice. ELIAS lIIGGS,
p. 0. Middlcway, Jefferson Co., w. Va.
Enhr,1nry 1880
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-10-16
Ditching, Exeavating,& &c

TINHE undersigned still offers his services as a
Il competent workman in the above line
Ditchiny and Excavating of all kiuds-Digging
moderate RITES and faithfully executed Orders
left at residence. near ColOrcd SchOOl-IIUuse,
will receive prompt attention. Blasting also
done in a satisfactory manner. and Mt lowest
rates. WESLEY LOWRY.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-10-16
die RubIicn

HATING rclinquishcd engagements abroad
Ii Which have occupied my attention almost
exclusively for several years past. will devote
my time in the future to work at home, and
offer my services to the public as Contractor
and Builder. There arc many evidences of my
ability to design ana construct houses in tho
best styles and substantially and promptly here
and elsewhere. and the past few years have
given INC experiences in hOUse-building that arc
valuable to myself and to persons WHO may en-
Ploy me. l will endeNvOr. in all work entrGlst-
ed to me, to render entire satisfaction.
Jan. %, 1SS3. j. c. HOLMES, Agent.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-10-16

No. esS Daily. An otherttraipe daily, except
Sunday. T. G. PRINCE,
Supervisor of Trains, Winchester, Va.
w. .M.iCLEMENTS, !.
Master of Transportation, Camden Station
MAY -, 1885,
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-10-16

EsF Pullman Sleeper, daily, on Express 40.
3, New. York to Chattanooga, via Harrisburg,
New Orleans. win Knoxville and Atlanta. audi
ut Dalton with Pullman Slccpers for JaekFon-
vile: making virtually no change New York to-
Florida, and New York To New Orleans.
Pullman Parlor Car, daily except Sunday, on
Express No. l. between Philadelphia aud
Luray, via Harrisburg.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1883-10-16
To Stock Raisers.

THE undersigned having considerable cxpcSi-
fcssonal services to the Stock Raiscrs of JeiTcrs
son and adjoining counties. promising care in
the execution of work entrusted to him. Will
also give attention to diseases in horses. Also
has patent Anti-ROotgr. which he will apply
to Hogs. Letters addressed to INC at Duhicidfa
Depot or Charlcstown will receive prompt at
tcntiOn. Terms reasonable.
Feb. IS. 1877. JOHN ". SCHAEFFER