The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1883-08-25
THE BAD BOY.

81 am thy fathers ghost" said n
shected form in the doorway Of the
grocery, one evening, and the grocery
man got behind the cheese box, while
the ghost continued in 4 sepulchral
voice, "doomed for a certain time to
walk the night" and, waving chair
round the ghost strobe up to the grocery
man, and with the other ghosily hand
reached into box of figs.
"No you amt no ghost" said the
grocery man, recognizing the bad boy.
"Ghosts do not go prowling around
groceries stealing wormy figs. What
do you mean by this sinful masquerade
busness1 My father never had no
ghost ?"
40, We have struck it now" said
the bad boy, as he pulled off his mask
and rolled up the sheet he had worn
around him. We are going to have
amateur theatricals to raise money to
have the church carpe,ed, and / am
going to boss the job"
"You don't say" answered the gro-
Gerry man, as he thought how much he
could sell to the church people for a
strawberry and ice cream festival, and
how little he could sell for amateur
theatricals. "Who is going into it and
what are you going to play p
"Pa and ma, and me, and the
minister, and three choir singers, and
my chum, and the minister's wife
and two dcaconS, and an old maid are
rchearsing, but we have not decided
what to play yet. They all want to
play different play, and | am fixing
it so they can all be satisfied. The
minister wants to play Hamlet, pa wants
to play Rip Van Wrinkle, ma wants to
play Mary Anderson, the old maid
wants to play boarding school play,
and the choir singers wants an opera,
and the minister's wife wants to play
Lady Macbeth, and my chum and me
want to play double song and dance,
and am going to give them all show.
We had rehearsal last night, and |
am the only one able to be around TO.
day. You see they have all been study
ing different plays, and they all wanted
- talk at once. We let the minister
sail in first. He had on 4 pair Of his
wife's black Stockings, and mantle
made Of 4 linen buggy lap blanket,
and he wore a mason's cheese knife
such as those fellows with poke
bonnets and white feathers wear when
they get an invitation to 4 funeral or
an excursion. Well, you never saw
Hamlet murdered the way he did it,
His Interpretation of the character was
that Hamlet was dude, talked through
his nose, and while he was repeating
Hamlet's soliloquy, pa, who had come
in with an old hunting suit on, rs Rip
Van Wrinkle, went to sleep, and he
didn't wake up till Lady Macbeth came
in, in the sleep-walking scene. She
couldn't find knife, SO took a slice
Of watermelon and sharpcncd il for her,
and she made mistake in the one she
was to stab and she stabbed Hamlet in
the neck with a slice Of watermelon,
and the core Of the melon fell on pas
face, as he lay asleep as Rip, and when
Lady Macbeth said, 'Out damned spot,
pa woke up and felt the COB Of water.
melon on his face and he thought he
had been murdered, and ma came in
on hop, skip and jump, as 'Parthenia,
and threw her arms around a deacon
who was going to play the grave digger,
and began to call him pet names, and
pa was mad, and the choir singers they
began to sing, 'In the North Sea lived
a whale and then they quit acting
You'd 4 died to see Hamlet. The
piece OF watermelon went down his
neck, and Lady Macbeth went off and
left il in the wound under his collar,
and ma had to pull il out, and Hamlet
said the seeds and the juice was run
ming down inside his shirt, and he said
he wouldn't play il he was going to be
stabbed with slice Of melon, so while
his wife was getting the melon seeds
out Of his neck, and drying the juice
on his shirt, | sharpened a cucumber
for Lady Macbeth to use for a dagger,
but Hamlet kicked on cucumber, too,
I and had more trouble than any stage
manager ever had. Then pa wanted
to rehearse the drunken scene in Rip
Van Winkle, where he hugs Gretchen
and drinks out Of n flask behind her
back, and he got one Of the choir sing
ers to act as Gretchen, and guess he
would have been hugging her till this
time, and have swallowed the flask il
ma had not took him by the ear, and
said a little Of that would go a good
ways in an entertainment for the church.
Pa said he didn't know as il was any
worse than her prancing up to the
grave digger and hugging him till the
filing come out Of his teeth, and then
the minister decided that we wouldn'i
have any hugging at all in the play,
and the choir girls said they wouldn't
play, and the old maids struck, and
the play come to a stand STILL"
"Well, that beats anything l ever
heard tell of. It's shame for people
outside the profession todo play acting,
and won't 60 to the entertainment
unless get a pass" said the grocery.
man. "Did you rehearse any morer'
"Yes, the minister wanted to try the
ghost scene," said the boy, "and he
wanted me to be the ghost. Well,
they have two 'Markses' and two Top.
sizes in Uncle Toms Cabin, and !
thought two ghosts in Hamlet would
about fill the bill for amateurs, so got
my chum to act rs one ghost. We
broke them all up. | wanted to have
something new in ghosts, so my chum
and me got two pairs Of mas long
stockings, one pair Of red and or,e pail
blue, and | put on a red one and blu,
one, and my chum did the same
Then we got some rufied clothes be