South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1883-08-10

A little boy remarked: Il like grand
pa because lie is such nice gent.en al.
ly mnn; he always tells nae to help my.
self TO the sugar
A woman was testifying in behalf OF
her son that he had worked on n farm
ever since lie was born The lawyer
v no cross-examined her, said You as
sert that your son worked on farm @.
yer since lie was born ? Il do What
did lie do the (irst year 2 He MIXED
The lawyer evapora,cd.
He CAUGHT SoMETuING. -'.Icen fish
IN johnny asked n man OF boy lac
met in the road.
Bet yer I did
Catch any,hing''
Bet Yer I did
'Wha,T
'Catched a sucker six feet Ing
Nor
Bet yer did
'Where?'
Down the creek
How did you catch i,?'
1T was one OF those six-f,ot city f,I
lers with gold mounted fsh pole. |
sold him four garter snakes fur cells.
and he gave me fifty cents fur EN-. If
yer don't call that catching sucker,
yer can't talk English that's al.'--Cin.
cntnai Mercha u Taucler.
A little girl was standing at the de-
pot to sec her father and gentleman
friend off, when she suddenly observed
to her father, referring to his friend,
who was tall an lank: IF the cars run
OFT the track and any legs must be broke
l hope they'll be Mr.. HIS What's
that for 2 said the Startled III. BE.
cause she added, ar;lessly. Aunt Ma.
~ says you have pair OF spare legs
The All aboard OF the conductor pre-
vented any explanation
Where are your kidst' a society man
asked, looking at the bare hands of n
poor but deserving editor at Wander.
biits party. al home in bed was the
indignant reply; do you suppose Ia
bring my children to party like tLis?'
r. j. b., in Haukrye.
Little fve-ycar.oId Annie, who was
suffering from bad cold. went TO pay n
visit TO auntie. During the day she re-
lated her various successes at school,
and ended by declaring that size could
read good deal better than Ssbrina
who was eight years old. Well ques.
toned auntie. wouldn't it sound better
if some one else said it p
Yes answered Annie, with sober
countcnance, Il think il woul1; have
such bad cold, can't say it very we'll
A young man in far Western town
met q lady on the street who was from
the same Eastern town lie was, but who
had never treated him very cordially at
home. She was glad TO SEQ him, and
rushed at him with:
How doyou do? am awful glad to
see you. When did you come? How
are all tho folks
Very well, thank you. I came in
well, I'm so glad to- see you. she
interrupted impetuousy You know, !
never know you very well in s., but |
get so homesic!s out hero that I'm clad
to SEQ even q dog, lit comes from the
dear old place
ACCURACY.-A man who missed his
way while travelling through the woods
found himself in front of log hut aud
called:
'uelloH
Hello YOURSELF said the proprietor
coming to the door,
Il am lost
Il cant help it,
rs this road ont here?'
That's road out thar; faint in
here
Where does IL go TOP
1T don't 60 nowhar stranger. II
you think 1T goes anywhar just you set
thar and watch it
Can | 60 to Conway on this road?'
That's just what you can't.
Where can GO
You can 50 to the duce if you like
But ! don't want co..
Then stay vhar we are,
but, my friend,I want TO 90 Ia
town
Wall, why don't you 90 thlr?'
Because | don't know the way.
Wall, why don't YOU say so? Jes,
turn yer boss round an foler yer nose