The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1883-05-12
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

Dandies are hybrid-a cross between a
fashion plate and unpaid %tailor's bill.
The more you speak of yourself said
Zimmerman, the more you are likely to
lie
The man who looks for big apples at the
bottom of a barrel is too con6ding for this
tricky world.
Money says the Philadelphia Chronicle.
makes friends. Aye, and enemies too
when you lend it too freely.
The time wasted by men in feeling in
the wrong pocket would make the next
generation rich if they had it.
Advice to wives: Man is very much like
an egg; keep him in hot water and he is
bound to become hardened.
When a man gets into ST KS aow-i-d VS.
he is very like the culprit of old times. and
suffers in a corresponding degree.
If we could only make the world think as
much of US as we think of ourselves we
should then be properly appreciated
Mistress: Why, didn't you answer the
be |, Mary?' Mary: Fax, mum. didn't
We tell me We had a ringing machine
By a sc4nd ,%liser, of course A woman
was offered e5 if she would remain silent
for two hours. AT the end of Is minutes
she asked, Isn't the time nearly up?
The moralist s,ys: Every man is occa-
sionally what he ought to be p-rpetually,
Then, again. some men are p%erpetually
what they ought to be only occasionally.
'Nonchalant' means that peculiarly in
different look which is put on by men who
never pay when dunned for money 1t
should be written none shell out
Nature asks, Are mems heads growing
smaller?' If the men haven't taken any
thing but a settler since they awoke. the
swelling IS probably being reduced.
Now then, Thomas. what are you burn
ing off my writing-table ? said an author
to his servant. Only one paper that is
written all over; 1 hav'nt touched the
clean.
Some folks don't know how to be happy.
They can't see the difference between hav-
ing a spoonful of vinegar in the molssses of
life and a spoonful of molasses in the vine
gar of life.
.'Tis a poor rule that does not work both
ways Yesterday [ was at a dinner party.
when a glass of wine was spilled on the
table. Herr Meier put some salt on it and
no one said a word. Subsequently the salt
dish was capsized, and | poured a glass of
wine on it. whereupon | came near being
thrown out of the house.
They were raised in Austin, but she did
not know much about gardening; at the
same time, she did not care to expose her
ignorance to her husband. They had only
been married a short when he said: i
notice the asparagus is about ripe don't
you want to go out in the garden and get
some She replied: I'll tell You what
we will do. We shall go out together. You
climb and shake the tree, and I'll catch
them in my apron as they fall
You mustn't touch the top OF the -oabys
head said a mother to her little tolr-year-
old she has got q soft part there that is
very tender The youngster gazed at it
curiously for a moment and then asked, DO
all babies have soft spots on Their heads?'
Yes Did apa have a soft spot on the
top of his head when he was Q baby?'
Yes" replied the mother with a sigh.
'and he has G it yet" And the Gid man,
who had overheard the conversation from
an adjoining room, sang put: @Yes>, indeed
has, my dear boy, or he~s6ld be a single
man to-day