National Republican., 1883-04-19

THE Boston Traveller says the MARQUIS and
the princess are good looking couple.
The season will soon be here, says tho Post
Express, when straw hats will show which vav
the wind blows wy
At IS suggested that it was Buffers presi-
uential bomb that exploded In Boston on the day
the Marquis OF Lorne arrived.
WHEN Kentucky hunter wants to tell a
@ nsn story ne lies about the number of rabbits he
Aiiieo III one shot, Commercial Adterttser
THREE years constant study in Italy will
make an American girl know too much n s,ps,
IN ohurch and too little TO be useful in opera =
Neio Orleans Rcdyane
Post-Erpress subscriber wants TO know
why DR.. Holmes is called tho autocrat of tho
breakfast table," 1t is because he always takea
tho TOP buckwheat cake
GRACE GREENWOOD writing from paria
says that the average American dressmaker is
noiu ,N oieVer tnan the women of that calling in
FRANCE Grace is given to hatlery.
IHE Camden Post says still hunt for no.
ICeInen one night last week in Philadelphia re
suited in finding twenty.three of them asleen in
tne soit' cushioned pews Of a church.
AN acre of land on Wall street costs s1s-
ovO,vVO' Wnile In Texas you can buy tho samo
amount for six cents II Is probably the location
that causes the difference in price. .-posi Eyny,,s
AN Illinois man boxed his wife's ears for
investing 50 in lottery ticket. She went 10 ber
fathers home, and her ticket soon after drew
sooOO. Ladies will please cut this out and paste
II In their ears. FN'0
WHAT with the wickedness of Cinoinnati
the bad whisky of st. Louis, and the general
cussedness" OF Chicago, we don't wonder that
young Lochinvar has come out Of the west,"--
Commercial advertiser
At pays TO win victories for England VOL
seley has Just had $1,000 year voted TO him. and
ater ne Is dead his heirs viii continue to receive
tnet sum- II you wish to learn soldiers trade
'ake out your indentures in England.
A WISCONSIN paper relates that two little
boys, aged IL and years, were dosed with liouor
on train near Eau Claire, that state, by a face.
tious passenger. as 1t calls him. the other day un.
I'll the elder brother became dead drunk and the
younger died outright.
FLORIDA hotel keeper was charging a
western traveller three prices for bad acoommoda-
lions. What will you do when you have killed
the goose that lays the golden egg2' said the
grumbling traveller. "Wait for another goose,p
said the hard faced landlord.
The Boston Herald says that "a distin.
guished German professor has discovered that
this is by good rights A, d. 1858. not 1888. The
argument is very learned one, involving the
history Of Herod and other early Christian EN-.
perors," as Gov. Butler would say.
The Montreal Star hopes that Mr.. Gladstone
will decline the peerage which the queen Is said 10
be anxious to bestow upon him. There are,"it
says, always candidates enough for the house Of
lords without man of Mr.. Gladstones eminence
passing In with the common ruok."
AN Avoca Qowa) paper has it that John
Howard Payne died in New York last Friday
md In raotot aIlt,
has gone to enjoy the holy grandeur that was 30
yiyidly depicted in his worldwide composition
one that was familiar to almost every mind"
WHAT shall we do with our girls?" was
the subject Of q lecture delivered in Albany the
other evening. The Post Express says this is
hard one TO answer. It's rather late for oysters,
and little carly for ice cream. You might take
her to church Sunday night and set up the soda
water on the way home.
The London Truth says there arc rumors
that in process OF time Prince Albert Victor eldest
son of the Prince Of Wales, will be advised to
select as his wife the Princess Cementine, of
Sake Coburg, daughter of the king and queen Of
the Belgians. The princess is now only 10 years
old, and the young prince six years older.
WENDELL PHILLIPS wife has been an in-
valid for over thirty years, and during all this
time the great orator has been untirlng In his
attention TO her. No one but you can know
what 1t has been to care for her, ~ was remarked
to him recently. "Ahl No one but me knows
how good she is" was his heartsome answer.
HIS Majesty somdetch Phra Paramindr
Maha Chulalonkorn Phra Chula Chom Klao
king OF Siam, has bestowed on Mr.. Trubner, the
philologist and publisher. the order Of the white
elephant of which he is made bhusanachorn or
ofncer. OF this order there are only three other
recipients In England-the queen, the siamese.
English consul general Cslr. Masonl, and Mr. Ed
win Arnold.
The new metropolitan opera house in New
York is In rapid process oferecion. The first i'm
preston is that Of enormous size The interior
view is majestic. On the stage spectacular effects
can be produced which have never been produced
in this country, The material is cream colored
brick, of semiglazed appearance and terra Gotta
work, and the style is nondescript renaissance,
with Roman arches In nodded brick.
A WAGON frightfully painted in the most
gaudy colors and intended to force tardy debtors
to pay their bills is In use In Cleveland. On the
sides arc painted the words. "Dead Beat Wagon"
and the vehicle is halted before debtors door,
there To remain month or moro, or until the bill
IL paid. A short time ago the driver stopped the
wagon before large house while he went In
search ofa horses lost shoe. The lady, who always
promptly pays her bills was so indignant that she
has sued the proprietors of the wagon for $4,000
damages.
By the Solomon of the Commercial Adver.
tiser: Corned beef-A drunken cow. High praise
Tho applause from the gallery. >, An organ
grinder is not the architect of his own four tunes
-. This is the kind Of weather that brings May
flowers and malaria. Most visionary persons
are long on dreams and short on realities. The
little German gas bag 10 now called "the superla-
tive Most. Tho gamblers hymn" I'm but a
stranger here; Chicago is my home,", "A prom-
isng young man--The fellow who always says
I'm see you later"
THE first duty Of the dude is TO owe .
tailor. The straw hat and picnic season has ar
rived. Fashion is up TO its elbow In spring silk
gloves, The oyster will spend the summer at
watering place. Rich men are not apt to be po-
lite, except TO assessors, The militia boys will
soon be putting on their drilling suits. Death
loves a shining mark as surely as the hy loves a
bald head. When a man is down, only very
small, mean towards want TO kick him. Never
put of to-day what you can wear until to'mor-
row, If It is hannel.--New Orleans Pfcagune
PROF. MEzzERoFF, another loud mouth,
has Just arrived from Europe. He says II Eng
land does not loose her hold on Ireland his party
will leave her mass of ruins, blow the whole
island to pieces with dynamite, and raise the devil
generally. This fellow s probably as big a loafer
as any Of the rest OF them. We don't believe he
has pluck enough 70 make faces at able bodied
| a. II. a..1 l.