The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1883-06-14
On the Management Of Children.

y
of harping perpctually upon child's
shortcomings or defects. Sometimes it
is a physical popularity red hair n
squint eye, pug nose. some uncom-
mon development Of feature or form
that receives comment This. ms it is
generally only a jocular good-natured
badgering, is not extremely serious,
though evil sometimes results, as q
morbid self-conseiousness is likely TO be
developed, both painful and in furious
to the child Frequently the fruit is ex-
cessive shyness or awkwardncsS, dilli-
cult to overcome even after the primary
cause may have been outgrown.
But when ii is some mental trait that
is made the never-ending topic of re-
mark, with gloomy or sarcastic prog
nostications of the future that is to re-
suit, most evil results accrue. If it is
true, as noted novelist has told us,
that .'we are apt TO believe what the
world believes about us. it is stll more
a truth as regards children, who are
scarcely capable Of deciding for them
selves any knotty point,whosc thoughts
are more or less confused at the best,
who naturally turn to parents or guard
ians rather than to the voice Of con
science for the right or wrong of any
thing, and whose most intimate assoc
eates stand TO them for the world A
policy of this kind can not but prove
dulling to the sensibilities and harden
ing to the heart. Many a parent who
has harped upon his child's shortcom-
ings till he has hammered that child's
heart to Il stone, wonders that his child
persists in the even tenor of his way,
paying no more attention to remon-
stranees than TO the voice Of the wind.
1t would be thing to wonder at more
if he did otherwise
That which is berated may be real
fault incidence, untruthlulncss, lack
Of order and the like; or it may be sim
ply that the fault is in the parents eye
that the child is not TO the parents
mind. The child may exceed iii physi-
cal energy, when the parent would have
more intellectual strength; or he may 10
s,udious and dreamy, when the parent
desires him to be matter-ol-fact. The
harping and hammcring 20 on, day af-
Ter day, in season and out Of season, till
the child comes to look upon home as q
place Of torment rather than refuge, and
upon the parent as an ayenging Meme
SIS rather than a being to reverence and
love. If the victim is Il boy, be is quite
likely, after certain age, to keep out
of the way as much us he can, If he does
not quit the premises altogether, which
project is meditated by nine out of every
ten boys so situated Happy for both
parent and child il the latter seek not
at '.saloon, or some other equally de-
moralizing resort, that freedom which
he misses in the home. There is Oft
times something exceedingly pathetic
about these much-bcrated little ones.
Listless and dispirited, too often sullen
as well as sad, all childish sparkle and
spontaneity lost, they go about with
dropping heads and downcast eyes, as
if in gloomy meditation on the ever-ex-
pected storm,
Doubtless with most parents the prac-
tice of excessive chiding is begun with
the honest purpose Of amending some
fault, but continued from force of habit,
or often from irritation Of mind, induced
by the child's failing to heed and be
healed. The fact is that children So
dealt with seldom do heed Gentle,
steady firmness may indeed, t;1Se more
patience, energy and time than stream
of reproofs, but let the parent be as
sured that if the former does not cure,
the latter never will.
Dickens gives us Il good illustration
of this kind of management in the child.
hood and early school life of David Cop.
perfield. What true and pathetic pie.
ture is that of the boys distress of mind
as he is about leaving home for school
of his anxiety and trepidaton lest the
Murdstones have sent his character as
they themselves daily depicted It to the
boy-on in advance of him. predispos
ing his future associates against him,
and setting him at once in disgrace be.
fore the school! What a barbarous as
well as disastrous policy! Yet how many
children are made to suffer in like ways
and far more kecnly, often, than Their
elders are aware! Poor David, with all
his trials and the evils imputed TO him
by his tormentors, is still model child
Few children, | think, with his ex.
perience, would have turned out SO well.
If any parent feels an uncertainty
about the i'll effects Of Giving under d
cloud, let him try the experiment fol
himself. Let him offend the prejudiceS
of the community, or let some enemy
instill suspicion or dislike into the
minds Of his associates; let him for 9
few months meet with shoulder-shrug
gings where he is accustomed to hand,
shakings, with Indifferent mods where
he expects greeting, and then let him
declare whether his experience has
served either to sweeten his temper q
soften his heart. Even if he be innocent
of any evil, he will find the cross none
too light. But in any case we elders
still have the best of it; we can at least
hurl back GOODNESS for GOODNESS and dis.
dain for disdain. Not so with the chill.
dren. They are expected to keep in
mind the divine command, "Honor thy
father and thy mother. and never, un,
der any provocation, to ''answer back :
If they do forget themselves, Solomon'i
remedy is generally broughtinto speedy
use, 10 teach these small atoms Of ha
manity their weakness and their de