Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-07-21
Saturday Smiles.

Bismarck thinks that the American Dig is the
rooter OF all evil.-BufdlO Courier.
wife is called betterhalf because a man
had better half her than not half her. p. S
If You don't get on to this at first YOU NAV do
SO Observation-Disclosures Merchant and Trau.
eIr.
The Prince of Wales wants the waters Of Eng.
land stocked with fish. after the American plan.
II he succeeds, the church congregations will he
very small on Sundays. 1t is the lack of an ODD
portunity to catch fish on Sundays that makes
the average church attendance SO large in Eng.
land.-Teras Siftinqs
New York schOOlma'am complains that too
much faVOritism is shown by the school trus-
tees. She says pretty teachers are promoted
TO the exclusion OF their palmer sisters. al
though the latter may be more intelligent.
Twas ever thus. The pretty teacher is also fire.
quentiy promoted to the position Of wife to the
exclusion OF the hOmely teachers-and about q
year after marriage she wishes she were single
and teaching the fourth class in the primary de-
partment. Herald
Plantation Philosophy-A oman is better
after she sheds tears. De honevsuckle is
sweeter arter rain. Great dangers Is often
feared less den little ones. A cow I'll Git outen
de way quicker fur boss den she will fur a
railroad train. Oars no animal dat Is got de
greed Ob man. A hog knows when he's got
enough corn, but man neber knows when he's
chile is. dar is on its face signs OBJ honesty or
dishonesty. Ole natur' hans out her PRINCIPLES
mighty arly in dis life. oman is more homes
wiz money den man, but she amt nigh SO
homes wild herself A oman II pay a debt
whar man would refuse; but man I'll tell de
truf whar oman II stretch it mightily.-Ar-
kdnsd,p Traveller.
The eolored press association at st. Louis re-
solved in favor Of spelling negro with q, capital
IN" And why not white man with as much
pr0priety! White Manis as as good as mig
Negro, any day.-BOstOn Herald.
Hugg l. Armstrong of Philadelphia are the
cOmpilers Of book of hymns entitled Exalted
Praise" Hug and armstrong is a powerful aud
appropriate combination, and should receive
the exalted praise of the hers as well as the
hims.-BostOn Transcript.
Magnetism-X imagines that he has mag
netic power; he tries It upon his usual victim.
"Sleep, command it!''
"You have only to speak, replies the victim.
Frequent scene at the post-ofice stamp
window: Clerk-"Another cent, please" Gus
tomer-"Well, guess not. The two-cent law
mistaken. It doesn't go into effect until Oc-
tober. Another cent. please. Hurry up" Gus
toner ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS take it, but think
it's an outrage. Times
The turn Of the ''tied"-starting homeward
after the wedding trip.-0a City Derrick.
The man who expects to get an answer
through telephone IL the victim of a halloci-
nation,
In Paris nowadays they say to the man with
the questionable tile, "Pschutt the haiti
Puck
It is the early watermelon that catches the
small boy.-Line Rock Gazette.
Seeing carriage full Of bellies and beans
drive by, Aminidab remarked that that reminded
him of q load of wooed.-.Mdrdthon Independest.
A young lady being told at q recent fire to
stand back or else the hose would be turned on
her, replied: ''Oh, don't care they are striped
on both sides, anyway.n-Columbsa Spectator.
The pen fs mightier than the sword, but II
Bos2on Transcript