The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-04-28
Concerning Specific Wants.


only woman in the world who has spe-
cific wants-such things as are not
needs, but desire for certain things
CONFERENCE.-The / can get along
without, and for the purchase of which
L never have money enough left after
the necessary things have been supplied.
So | go on year after year, hoping all
the time to be able to indulge myself
with the qualification of my special
desires. That is, my method tCas that,
but l have, after great experience,
changed my plan. l donotsuppose any
one yet was so rich but that he was cir
cumscribed by limitations and his de-
signs outran his purse if given free rein;
but there are thousands of people who
feel that they can afford certain luxu-
rious items-as dainty perfumes,
choice rose-tree, cambria handker-
chief, an artistic lamp, or vase, to say
nothing of more costly wants. Not
outstanding that it is a general belief
that more money is spent on women
and by women, than is spent on men,
or by men (Which l do not believe), it
is undeniably true that women, as a
class, are far more saving than men
they economic and sacrifice in hun
bred ways that men never think to do,
nor could easily be persuaded to do.
Now, it may he a heresy in the camp
| of economy to preach the doctrine of
self-indulgence, but 1 have come to
believe in it "all the same" / find that
if very much want a thing, it is the
better way to get it, and trust to
providence" for necessities, and asyet
| have failed to see that anybody has
been less comfortable for my self-indul-
gence; so | conclude that where one has
sum of money to spend, the best course
to pursue is to buy first the things she
very much wants, and which she could
do without, and let all the pinching and
contriving fall upon the necessaries of
life. If you do not believe in the wisdom
of this, try it for one good, long while,
and you will surely find out!
The little ''foolishnesses" that women
usually want, when procured are nearly
| always what cOntribete to the pleasure
and happiness of the whole family, and
are of an enduring character. And,
really, what use or sense lies in forever
denying ones self? Ihave heard the
good old adage from childhood, "The
way to do a thing is to do it" "The
way to knoO a thing is to find 1t out"
And to these | would add 1.-THE way
to have thing is to haze IT,.
Moreover, the quality of self-indul-
gence gives one place and power over
self-sacrifce. How often do we see one
member of family especially INDUCED
in certain direction, because his or
her preference for a thing is specially
marked, although every other member
may like it equally well, but says less
about it? And how universal is it among
wives and mothers to sacrifice them
selves to the last gasp for husband and
children, until mother" becomes such
statue of self-abnegation that the fam
| lily ceases altogether to think of her as
human being with natural desires for
good, appetizing, fashionable and sty-
lish things like other people. She pours
out the last drop of tea or coffee and
serves the final berry in the dish to the
family, and pretends that she herself
don't care for any, and if there is any
'scrimping" in the sugar or coffee she
is the first one to accept that. All in
all the self-sacrificing woman is-a-a
fool! The beauty of self-sacrifce has
been preached since the world began,
for aught we know, and woman has been
its exemplar! "Self-sacrifice-that most
lovely trait of womann And woman
geese that they are!-go on in their self
abnegation until if they should spend
one round dollar on first-class dinner
at hotel when they went to town shop
ping they would feel as condemned in
conscience as if they had broken the
third commandment If any woman
can tell what she gains by her con-
tinued self-abnegation, she can do bet
better than l. think the self-assert-
ing woman compels and maintains an
amount of respect from her husband
and children that the self-sacrifcing
woman never can and never does get.
Human life is but span-we are soon
at the end of it, and if we early learn
to make the most of it we are fortunate.
Above all, oh, wife and mother make
yourself the most important factor in
your family-the most imposing, the
most requiring, as you are the most de-
serving one. The more YOU require
your family to serve you, and to sacri-
flee themselves for your best deveIop-
"''''e' AOi youl DCoC PllySlCdl anu luenldl
good, the better for all concerned, for
there is no influence in the family so
ennobling, so admirable, so every way
desirable, as superior mother-a
mother for the children always to re-
spect and to be proud of. If you make
a slave of yourself for your family, you
are the largest sort of fool. At the
last, for your pains, you will be flung
aside like a used up house-cloth. So
give yourself a chance-buy books and
pictures and flowers, and pretty frocks
and well-fitting boots, and collars and
cuffs and perfumery, and CASTLE soap
and hair-brush-and, if necessary, let
the family go without sugar and butter
and cof1ee.-Mary Wagner Fisher, in
Rural NeaO Yorker.