The Portland daily press., 1883-03-05
His Pa Gets Mad.
The Bad Boys Account of Nights Ad-
ventures.
Milwaukee Sun. /

lhluNduhS6 DuusJ
II was down to the drug store this morn
ing and saw your ma buying lot of court
peterborough to make shirt, 1 should
think. What's she doing with so much
court plaster?" asked the grocery man.
so, guess she is going to patch pa up so
he will hsld water. PAS temper got him
into the worst muss you ever see, last
night"
&c food heaven" said the grocery man, as
the boy swallowed the cider, and his face re-
sumed its natural look, and the piratical
frown disappeared with the cider. you
have not stabbed your father, have you?''
"Naw, haven't stabbed him. You see,
pa wants me to do all the work around the
house. The other day he bought load of
kindling wood, and told me to carry it into
the basement. When supper time came,
and pa found that had not carried in the
kindling wood, he had hot box, and he
told me if that wood was not in when he
came back from the lodge he would warm
my jacket. Well, tried to hire some one
to carry it in, and got man to promise to
come in the morning and carry it in and
take his pay in groceries; and | was going
to buy the groceries here and have them
charged to pa. But that wouldn't help me
out that night. | knew when pa came home
he would search for me. So slept in the
back hall on cot. But / didn't want pa
to have all his trouble for nothing, so I Dor
rowed an old tom cat that my chums old
maid aunt owns, and put the cat 10 my bed.
II fhnr IN, e.
and found that by his uhkindness had
changed to tom cat, he would be sorry.
That is the biggest cat you ever see, and the
worst fighter in our ward. It isn't afraid of
ANYTHING, and can whip Newfoundland
dog quicker than you could put sand in
barrel of sugar. Well, about IL o'clock
heard pa tumble over the klndling wood.
and | knew by the remark he made. as the
wood slid around him, that there was going
to be cat fight real quick. He came up to
mas room, and sounded ma as to whether
Hennery had retired to his virtuous couch.
Pa is awfully sarcastic when he tries to be.
could hear him say, as he picked up
trunk strap, I guess will go up TO his
room and watch the smile on his face as he
dreams of angels. yearn to press him to
my aching BOSOM l thought to myself,
mebbe you won't yearn so much directly.
He came up stairs, and could hear him
Dreaming nara. looked around the
corner and could see he just had on his
shirt and pants, and his bald head shone
like calcium light just before it explodes.
Pa went in my room and / could bear him
say, Come out here and bring in that kin
ding wood And then there was a yowling
such as / never heard before, and pa said,
Helen BlaZes.' and the furniture in my
room began to fall around and break. Oh,
my! think pa took the tom-cat right by the
neck, the way he does me, and that left all
the cats feet free to get in their work. I
suppose the cat thought pa was a whole
flock of Newfoundland dogs and the cat had
record on dogs and it Kicked awful. PAS
shirt was no protection at all ina cat fight
and the cat just walked all around pas
stomach, and pa yelled police and fire and
turn on the hoes and he called ma and the
cat yowled. If pa had had presence of mind
enough to have dropped the cat or rolled it
up in the mattrass it would have been all
right, but man always gets ratified in lime
of danger, and he held on to the cat and
started down stairs yelling murder, and pa
stumbled on hand sled that was on the
stairs, and the cat got away and went down
in the coal bin and " wled all night / went
and got into my bed, cause it was cold out
in the hall, aud the cat had warmed my
bed as we'll as it bad warmed pa. This
morning | came down the back stairs and
haven't been to breakfast, cause / don't
want to see pa when he is vexed. have
passed the kindling wood period in boys
life and have arrived at the coal period I
will carry in coal, but draw the line at
kindling WOOD