News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-08-16
SUMNER RESORTS.
HOW THEY APPEAR IN ADVERTISE
NIENTS-WHAT THEY REALLY ARE.
A Few Notes Captured From the Note
Book of II summer Visitor.
TFrom the Detroit Free Press. ]

from the Detroit Free Press.
"I believe you advertise good fish
ing?"
eyes, sir. "
"Where is it?'
cover in the lake. We never fish on
dry land here"
''But [ have been over there all day
and never had a bite"
''Of course not. If you want to fish
core here in June. This is July, and
the fish won't bite. Sorry: but you are
a month too late"
AT THE NEAREST RAILROAD STATION.
Chow far is it over to Rosebush
Lake @
"Sixteen miles, sir.
"Thy, was told that it was only half
mile from this station This is apretty
state of affairs, declare! How do you
get over there ?"
81 have never been there, sir. l pre-
sumo you can hire farmers team or
walk it, y
'It's a dead swindle p
tWetI?"
"And I'm a fool for leaving home !"
eyes"
s'And I'll take the down train.
''Certainly. Only sixteen hours to
wait for it. Sit down in the freight-house
and make yourself comfortable.
TOO PREVIOUS,
'See here, landlord, didn't you ad-
vertise an entire absence Of flies and
mosquitoes at this place."
Certainly, sir; but those advertise
ments were pretared i'll March, and L
assure in the most solemn manner that
we weren't troubled in the least until the
last of May. If you had only come up
here in April you would have had a glo-
riOus time"
AN OFF YEAR.
"Hot Why, it's five degrees hotter
here than at home I thought this was
one of the coolest places in the
country ?"
"NIy dear sir, this is an off year, you
know Every year but this we have had
to keep up fires in July, and we shall
probably have to next year again. 1t is
a sort of an extra season, you see.
"But where are those cool breezes you
advertised? ?"
ooh, they are over on the other side
of the lake to-day. You see, this is only
one side of the lake, and we can't expect
to monopolize all the breeze there IS.
We must divide up and give the other
resorts some of it.
CAME IN HANDY.
"See here. landlord vou advertised a
big. forf--to.y hotel, with grove,
fountain, bathing, boating, ETC., and l
arrive here to find shanty stuck III the
pine woods and the nearest lake a mile
away. Explain yourself, sir y
"With the greatest of pleasure. The
cut of the hotel was one left on the
printers hands, and he worked it in to
fill out the column. [ ought to have
mentioned in the advertisement that it
was a cut of a hotel at Long Branch,
but [ neglected to. Come right i'll
beautiful scenery, woods full of snakes,
rates down to 81 per day and children
charged full price"
DOG CHEAP.
Landlord, this bill is downright eX-
tOrtion ~
GLOW is that %
"Why, can stop at the Grand Paci-
fic for less than you have charged me
Eyes, sir, but is the Grand Pacific
among the hills ? Is it surrounded by
pines Has it a boiling spring? Can
you walk over a precipice within 200
feet of the Grand Pacific? [ charge two
dollars day for the precipice, anothel
for the hills and the spring, and If twelve
sbillings a day for hotel rates are no
dog cheap then I don't know how t(
please you. Why, sir, if the Fltti
Avenue Hotel was on the brink OF
precipice 200 feet high, you couldn
stop there for IS a day p