Middletown transcript., 1883-04-20
CRFSTS.

Crpsus was king of Lydia. He was
rich man, and by lavish display of
his treasures got his name in the papers.
Historians are not agreed as to the
means by which he laid the foundation
Of his fortune. 1t is probable that he
began life as hack driver at Niagara
Falls. In course Of time his father
Alyattes, a philanthropic and frugal
old man who never taxed his people
more than eighty-four cents on the
dollar Of the assessors valuation, took
him in partnership in the king business,
which was paying pretty well about
that time. And as first assistant king
Crgsus was very much Of a success.
Alyattes was getting old and rheumatic
and tired and he turned the business
pretty much over to Crgsus but con
tinued to take the biggest share Of the
profits. 1t was during this partnership
that one Of the humorists Of the day
remarked that Lydia had pair Of
kings that generally took the pot.
This joke will be explained to all sub
scribers who call at the office and pay
all back dues and for one year in adj
vance. About the year 568 B. G.,
Alyattes died and Cresus opened out
business in his own name. He thanked
the public for past favors and hoped
for a continuance Of the same. He an
nounced that there would be no change
in the policy Of the government, save
that he might have to advance the tax
rate little. But along side Of United
States Congress he didn't know much
about robbing his people. a United
States Congress would have been worth
five million dollars a year to him. The
wealth he inherited from his father,
whose life long endeavors had been to
lay by something for wet spell of
weather, Cresus invested in good ten
per cent. mortgages and then looked
about him for way to turn an honest
penny on his own account. He began
by assessing all the Office holders and
public scrub-women, and his chief
assessor, whose name may have been
Jay Hubbell, hung at them until they
were MIXED dry. Then as business
seemed to be pretty dull and getting
duller in Lydia, he decided to extend
his trade into some Of the adjoining
countries. He did a thriving business
for while. He robbed and murdered
and plundered and coniscated with a
| grace and ease and dignity Of manner
that won him the admiration Of all
competitors. After he had gathered
in about all the lucre Of thirteen coun-
tries he felt tolerably well fixed. He
thought he might afford to take little
recreation from the active duties Of
life that his wealth might even Justify
him in staying a week at a Florida
hotel. But about this time he heard
that Cyrus was running an opposition
business in his line and he concluded
to 60 over to Media to see Cyrus. He
went, and he found Cyrus at home.
Cyrus was glad to see him, too, and
endeayored to give him an impressive
reception. While the exchange of
greetings was going on between the
two monarchs, Croesus suddenly Temem-
bered that he had come away from
home without his umbrella and that
the weather was threatening, so he
started back to Lydia as fast as he
could 60, and with Cyrus coming right
after him. Cyrus was a social sort of
king and he didn't want Crpsus to 60
away mad. He was afraid he had hurt
his feelings in some way and he wanted
to overtake him and learn the cause of
his haste. eCyrus followed Crpsus all
the way to his Lydian home, and when
he had got there he liked the country
SO well he said he would stay awhile
and rest, being as he had travelled pretty
far and fast. Cyrus was humorist
and while he was resting he thought he
would play a joke on Crnsus by burn
ing him at a stake, but changed his
mind and read a hundred and thirty
verses Of Walt Whitman's poetry to
him. Crorsus survived and Cyrus, who
was now running the government,
liked him 50 well after he had got ac-
quainted with him that he made him
Secretary Of State. Cyrus took care of
the Treasury himself.