The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1883-04-26
The New Musical Critic.

| equal sections on either side his bulging
brow, could doubt this for an instant.
The managing editor, an earthly
| creature, however, had his doubts about
the ethereal young man; but as othe
musical critic had come well recon-
| n1ended, the managing editor stifed his
doubts and showed the, young man his
desk.
/ The first job the youngma was given
was to do the opera ON the coming night.
He sailed forth in stunning evening
dress, with a full score under his arm
and bis heart bulging with melodious
anticipations. '' W
/ L Returning, and having finished his
critiaue, he took it to the managing
editor, who bade him sit down and read
the stuff aloud. The young mans soul
was terribly shocked. thai. his splendid
composition Should be called s'stuff..n
However, he gbegan, with as good grace
as he could under the circumstances, as
follows: " sz&
/ 9s9 z The tuneful5 sweetness, o5the macs
/ tro's chet-d cgssUre was never interpreted
with more engaging esprit de corps than
I.by the. artists in1this melodious aggrega-
ton. The chromatic tints were laid on
with a prodigality of fefYor chat
4 sublinlated the appoggiaturs and apoths
eosized the heTcontrapuntal tone waves -
Hold upi' exclaimed the managing
editor, .'What.do You mean by all that 2lf
'MeanH" calculated the musical critic;
how do you suppose | know? fves
done work for the great, dailies,l and
nobody ever. asked me what | meant,
Shall | go onsn s s9s4 9a5 J1-nt Esll
The managing editor, nodded, and, the
young man proceeded:
And apotheo5ized the coi1trapantaI
tone7Wayes with dynamic expulsion. sSigs.
nora ScreechowI, the primest prima dom
ma, wasAin her best voice. improved asIit
was BY Q slightly catarrhal shading which
| eradicated those fncsiye murn1urs which
tickle only the ears Of the amateur lover
of theEwarbling Muse. "a Her embonpoint
was grandly effective, and no words can
hope to depict the cataelysmicH effect of
her dolce tiu Rssnte in the braYura pass
age in the seventeenth bar"
A'';L don't; catch on worth cent, -
sadly mgrmufed the. managing editor;
s.but as you have worked of of & The great
.daiies. Ifsupposeit it's all right fa1i lifa
The young youn g. man said ''Yes" and went
/ on. sfa e4s - oif - =
+'Signou Macarpni. the tenora assoIuta,
attacked with consummate aplomb, adj
vanced in column by division closed in
mass. and dlcarried the works ofatlie great
maestro by an sadroit movement in eche-
| lon. - .'''4 = l'"9zi ~ @ l' 2
.'Was there Faa battle scene in the
operaP" innocently inquired the manag-
ing editor; r.e3 e.. ..-..t..s-,
''Battle scener' exclaimed the young
man! contemptuously. No, sir; no
battle other than the, ,forceful conflict, Of
/ lyrical acoustics.
JfAhhfsaid the managing editor, f.I
understand. Proceed. I .-s;..,...a -. +
"But the climax Of mellifiuous grand
eur was attained when Mile. Botoni, the
ultra-contraltos entered the lists. The
coltish freshness Of her tunefuf tongue
was something lastounding, in its casta.
dfvan effects. The chiaroscuro of her
| andante Sadagio was complemented per-
| fectlye the middle distance iof her
adagio7andante, and the two achieve
.ments together c6rhscated through" the
house with all the grace and witcheryD
] of the. gemini of astronomical famili-
arity.'a > f' +2'3 4 g S1At4'5f 20
Il guess that viii do.'' said the mans
aging editor. Il don't care to hear any
more tonight. I'm not feeling FttearF
well, and q few more lines mightrset me
/ into a brain fever. Your ,critique is. a
fsplendid one, the best ever heard Af for
the kind. 4 shall put it all in.a' - +as.
And he put it into the waste basket
/ forthwith. e - @1i5i@ift aAz q 9s'3a 9
sGreat Heavens ''exclaimedt the young
man, .'do you mean to say that you amt
a-going to prihtitg gfs5@ lad osS~ szeoa
IT, THAT'S about the size Of, il, y was the
/ cool reply.
RF' "But, look here,,' said the critic, ssyou
don't know a good thing when you see
tit. I've worked thoseideas into more
than twenty articles, and not one Of EN-
was ever re iected Before 80 E56Ias sea z
/ ? ''Nobody would understand a word Of
tiff printed it, :, yentured the editor,
''Of course they wouldh'tl1 eagerly
/ replied the critic; as'nebedY ever under-.
stands what a fellow writes about music.
That 5 The poift.p s5i7 ~ aifl9sti 9'ia -
~ 4'Ehe point25'5, ysf .ff9a aaiT h..a 81
l.rTYes; don't you see. You can use that
/ lrticle lots of ways. By the chang ges of
I word here and there YOU have a first
ltate art notice; then by adding a few SEN
tences and traRsposihg q few more, YOU
have a graphic account of aaprize tight;
l Dr. "a baseball game, or walking match,
or a GREAT battle. patent4 t4hiediciHe put,
Eor an editorial on the tarif.9 There's no
fend Of the ways in which you can work
1.-The thing up.'5t 11io tBd .fl3sHfsd Iaaf
~ ..It's agrand dschen1es9ssA the nnan.l
aging editor; tfteo grand for the Gran
berry ClGrioa, / m l'fraid,t You ,dsbetr,
ter take it to one Of your great daiHes;
and while you re about it, YOU d better
| take yourself. there, too. It would be
icfuel toseompe1 YOU 10 hitleatyetiir light
beneath the busllel of a hoantryiI neSes4
ipaperaIgGosi my dear sboy4sit aisirbdst
we part atsonee,r Adieu urfaFsweit be-
gonerr'a as,,eg = sg,4,.e-ss f.fsrs 49, ~ !
!; And the musical critic gathered. his
i gossafner limbs together aTild Slid OF fato
the sfIeiit Mig fit!itI q aIo4 a9Ffcsas j
~ The feaderssI die Crs6Bsrrgl Cgast9s
may never know of hefeiTihe ca1anlitK
/ which they SO narrowly esaaned. and the