davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-08-02
NUMBER 3.
Some Parliamentary Rules.

Never kick a man when he is down.
It tends to create confusion, breeds an
imosity and muses. up the floor. The
better way is to let your opponent up,
get him headed toward the front
door and shoot him in the back just as
he is going out.
Never pull your coatoff hastily in the
heat of argument and throw 1t OH the
floor. You are liable to break the bot
tie in the pocket. In rising to a ques-
ton of privilege, pass your revolver to
the man sitting on your left in order to
show that you intend to take no undue
| advantage. A motion to table tho
Chairman and pound him into prop
er sense of his true position and what
is due the convention is always in
| order.
A motion to put out the lights is the
same as to adjourn, and, consequently.
| always in order. With the lights out
| obnoxious resolutions can be secretly
destroyed, bills stolen for alteration, and
| heads put on different members Of the
opposition.
Never play football with the chap
lain's hat when he rises to open the
proceedings with prayer. Remember
he is not member Of your body, but
( appears merely ex necessitate, In pure
ly ministerial capacity, the same as he
would visit any other set Of cannfbal-
istic heathen, and in the same missiou-
ary spirit. If he pours any oil Oh the
troubled waters, remember he may
have saved life for that day, and give
him due credit. A chaplain is always
an important adjunct to well-regu-
lated penitentiary.
When you have decided to call anoth-
er member liar, remember that you
must do it by proxy; that is, through
the proper channel, which is the Chair
man OF Speaker of the House. "Mr.
Speaker, desire you to communicate
these honest expressions Of supreme
contempt to the alleged member who
has just tumbled into his seat, with my
compliments. 1t is against the rules of
the House for me to address him, and
Pm glad of it. Mr.. Speaker, 1 will now
yield the floor and call on the Sergeant
alarms to clear the gallery of ladies,
as am quite sure the onery member
tc whom have just casually alluded,
is going to again shoot off his mann
moth mouth. ."-Teras Siftissgs.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-08-02
Josh EsaERrRags oER Marriage.

History holds its tung as to who the
pair wuz who first put on the silken
harness and promised to work kind in
it thru thick and thin, up hill and
down, and on the level, swim, drown
or float. But, whoever tina wuz, tha
must have made a good thing Of it, or
50 many Of their posterity would not
have harDessed up since and drove out.
But there ain't but pheW folks who put
their money in matrimony who could
set down and give good written opin-
yum viii on arth tha came to do it.
Sum marry for love, without cent in
their pockets, nor a drop of pedigree.
This looks desperate, but it iz the
strength of the same. If marrying for
love amt success, then matrimony
il ded beet. Sum marry bekawse
tha think Wimmen will be scarce next
year, and live to wunder how the crop
holds out. Sum marry tew get rid of
themselves, and discover that the game
wuz one that two could play at and
neither win. Sum marry the second
time to get even, and lind it gam
bling game-the more they put down
the less they take up. Sum marry teW
be happy, and, missing it, wonder
where all the happiness goes tew when
it dies. Sum marry tha can't tell why,
and live tha can't tell how.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-08-02

Mischief Makers.

O, could there in the world be found
Some little spot of happy ground
Where village pleasures might abound,
Without the village tattling.
How doubly blest that place would be,
Where all might dwell i'll liberty,
Free from all the bitter misery
OF gossip's endless prattle.
II such place was really known
Dame Peace might claim it as her own,
And in it she might fix her throne
Forever and forever.
There, like a queen, might reign and live
While every one would soon forgive
The little Sights they might receive,
And be offended never.
'Tis mischief makers that remove
Far from our hearts that warmth Of love,
And lead us MI to diSapproVc
What gives another pleasure.
They seem TO take our part, but when
They've heard our cares, llnkindiy then
They soon recall them all again,
Mixed with their Poisonous measure!
o! that the mischief making crew
Were all reduced to one or two,
And they were painted red and blue,
That every one might know them.
Then would our villagers forget
To rage ana quarrel, to foam and fret,
And fai! into RI angry pet
For things too much below them.
For 'tis aIsad degrading part,
To make another's bosom smart,
And plant dagger in the heart,
We ought to love and cherish.
III quietncss, with all around,
While friendship, JOY ard peace abound,
Let me in happiness be found.
And angry feelings perish.
-Erchrp1P
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-08-02

The people who undertook to turn
! back the current of intercourse between
the United States and Mexico by as
sau1ting and intimidating the United
States Consul at Monterey were pro-
tectionists III their economical view OF
the most consistent and practical kind.
They would break up international
trade by driving out those who would
| carry it on, instead Of trusting to tax
on the commodities which outsiders
attempt to send into their country.
| They are not going to have their labor
ers put on footing with those of the
United States who can, with the aid
| of machinery, cheaper living, superior
skill or some other cause, Or all these
causes, undersoli the homo manufac-
ti,rers. They say the condition of the
| laborer in Mexico is hard enough, and
ask what is to become of him if the
! things he now produces shall be offer
! ed to consumers at still lower price
| than they now command. This is the
|
every land. This class, in their condi-
ton of greatest ignorance, whether in
Mexico or elsewhere, oppose railroads
and Ill lahor-saving machinery with
| the same logic. It would be useless fol-
| the present, no doubt, to tell the HEX
lean laborer engaged in the manufac'
| ture of iron implements that he had
better give that industry up for time
and devote himself to the culture o1
sugar, tobacco, coffee, cochineal, peltry
| tropical fruits, to mining and score ot
other industries in which he possesses
! equal or greater advantages than Amer,
leans and exchange the fruits of his Ia
Dor for the commodities which he has
not the skill at present or the surround
iugs to enable him to make III compete
! ton with others. True as the fact uni.
versally is, that free Intercourse be.
| tween individuals, communities and
nations is the most direct path to skill
in all Industries and enlightenment in
all the sciences, there is a school of po
Iitical economists in the United States
and in Mexico and in some other cOun.
tries, which insists upon putting bar
rers in the way of commerce and iT
maintaining the primitive practices o.
limited interchanges or absolute exclu
siveness. Some attempt to effect their
purposes on this subject by literally ex'
cluding foreigners and their products
by edicts or by violence; others reach
their end through taxation called tar,
ifs. There is difference among pro
| tectionists as to methods, but the ends
sought are the salne.-NjSsouri he.
Ipubiicdn.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-08-02
A Grave Tradition.

The Abyssinians have a curious tradi-
ton as to the custom of burying the
dead. They say that when Adam
found the body Of the murdered Abel
he carried it about upon his shoulders
for twenty days, not knowing how to
dispose of it. The Almighty took pity
on HIM and sent forth a crow with a
dead young one on his back. The
crow flew before Adam until it came
to tract of sandy ground, in which it
dug a hole with its feet, and there bu-
ried it's young one. When Adam saw
this, he dug a grave in the sand, and
buried his dead boy in it.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-08-02

Queen Victoria is four feet eight
inches high.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-08-02
The National Soldiers and sailers

The National Soldiers and Sailers'
Reunion, at Columbus, Ohio, and the
Reunion of Morgan's Men, at Lexing-
ton, Kentucky, both of which were
held last week. offered additional proof
that the war was over. At Columbus
survivors of the 54th Virginia were
guests of their former prisoners. the Sd
Ohio, while at Lexington the old keep
er of Camp Chase was entertained by
his old prisoners.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-08-02
S5aGEieEagr9s New House.

P.D. Armour, Marshall Field, George
II. Pullman, J.. Il. Letter, Potter Pal
mer and other rich men in Chicago
have given Gen. Sheridan a house in
Washington. He has written them a
letter thanking them for "thoroughly
providing" him with home.
Gen. Sheridan is an amiable and
popular man. He has a great many
friends in Chicago who will be sorry to
have him go to Washington. But he
ought not to accept such O gift as these
capitalists have made him. The friend
ship of rich men for distinguished Gen
erals and politicians IS not always dis
interested. Such men have great and
varied interests, which they try topro-
mote in many ways, direct and indi-
rect. They try to stand well with
powerful persons who may some time
be of use to them. Some men they
can easily bribe; they can gain in 9TH
er ways the good will of some who
would scorn n bribe.
Both Grant and Sherman set bad
examples to Gen. Sheridan in this mat
ter of gift-taIing. Grants readiness to
accept anything from United States
bonds to a bull pup is traditional.
The rich men Of New York and Phiia-
delphia were very fond of him. He
is under the tutelage of Jay GoulI.
Does anybody suppose that these men
have any peculiar gratitude to Grant
for his services in war? Men Of that
kind expect an equivalent for what
they give. They are men of business.
They get advertising and credit tor
his name. They get his still great i'll
iluence with public men. If he is ever
called to any considerable public office,
tercsts.
Grant is now private citizen, and 1t
may be said that it is proper for him to
take gifts if his sense of delicacv does
not lead him to reject them. Gen.
Sheridan's position is very different.
He will soon be at the head of the
army. He may be called upon in the
event of some grave disturbance like
the great railroad riots to bring United
States troops into collision with citi-
Zens. He is not, as his conduct in
Louisiana showed, O. man of calm judg
ment. If there should be riot in Chi
cago, and the Federal troops should be
called out, everybody knows into what
a silly panic the rich men who have
just given Gen. Sheridana a house would
fall. Some of their property might be
either destroyed or endangered. Would
not Gen. Sheridan be inclined to rely
upon the judgment Of those who have
provided him with q house? 4
If Gen. Sheridan cannot afford to buy
house in Washington, he should hire
one or go to boarding. If his salary is
insufficient to support him he can Re-
sign. The ACKNOWLEDGEMENT of the
army ought to know that great gifts
from great capitalists are either a bribe
or q charity. AS his sense of honor
would angrily refuse the one. his sense
of delicacy ought to reject the other.-E
". Y. Sun.
The average life of French women is
said 10 be thirteen years longer than
that of a French man.
Queen Victoria is four feet eight |.
inches high.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-08-02
SOcTCiEcss.

Asse- VALLEY LODGE, No. 1870. KNIGHTS
yANzENx OF HONOR, meet alternate y c'!neS.! !ay
sSsXAS M evenings. as follows February 2SJh
FAAW3lE1Narcl 18th and 2StA; April IItt and
s~zMs<saS 25th: NAY aiil ana 22d; June et1 end
2AAzT Goth; July Ith and lS,a; August l>t
and 18th; september I2th and 26th; October iptt
and 2tth; November 7th aud 2lst: Nrc""lh'rJth aud
18th. ". v" NAL-l', Reporter.
EASTERN STAR LopGE, No. -, a. F. Il 4.
NJ Regular Communication second SATURDAY IN
every moth. All visiting Brethren are cordially
Invited To attend j " A4iAl9, w. III
J.w. JACKsoS, Secre airy.
PIIor KSoB LnpGE, No 2j3, 4. o. L. W,
meets every Friday ev nag at Oda Fellows Hall,
Pilot Knob. J. NJ FEAtE' II. ~
C MILLER, Reco
INDIAN CHAPTER, No. Il, Z. A, meets on
on the First and Third Tuesdays IN cvCrE month,
att clock P. NJ, in the Masonic Hall, Ironton-
SrARorrFiE WEST LopGr No. 135, A. F S A.
NJ meets in Masonic Kali, IroEtun. on the SatlIr-
DAY of or preeeding the trll moon in each month
Mosaic LoDGT No. .}5l, 4 + < 4. NJ, meets
in the Masonic HsiI, Cross Roads, on the Sat"r-
day Of or preceding the full moon in eacI month
IRoSToS ENCA.ErMFET No, %, /. .. o F.,
meets in the Oad-FcllnwS' Hail, Iront0n, ON t-c
First and Third Thursdays Of every month,
IRoS LopGr No. l07, [. o. O. F. meets every
Monday evening, ut Its Hall, in lronton.
PHeEBE LoDGE No. so, 10 OF, meets every
Thursday evening in Masonic Hall, Cross Roads.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-08-02
Churches.

SERvrCEs IN the Presbyterian Church every
Sabbath morning ct ;Oj - clock. Sihhlt2 Scii"7i
at 3 O'Clock Prayer NCetiac every "vtt.trS; ;,ty
evening at Il o clock. \. W WRIGHT, Pastor
Me. CHURCH, Cor Reynolds and Mountain
Streets Ir0ntsn J MAELATT, Pastor. t"aI-
,ience: Ironton. Services, Second and Fourth
sun laws in each month. sabbath School every
sunday morning, al 10 O'Clock.
H1Gu Mass AMI sermon at Arcadia CollcEc
every Sunday at S O'Clock A. NJ. Nesp"rS a"..
Benediction Of the blessed Sacrament 1t > clock
PM Mass and sermon III Pilot Knob CdtiioiiH IL
Church ut 10 40 O'Clock A. NJ. SUNDAY School for
children at 80 o'ci"ck P. II.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-08-02

The portraits on the new postage
stamps that come in use October / are:
1-cent, Franklin; 2-cent, Jackson; s.
cent, Washington; scent, Garfield; g.
cent, Lincoln; 7-cent, Stanton; l0-cent,
Jefferson; 12-eent, Clay; 15-cent, Scott;
3o-eent, Hamilton, 9O-cent, Perry.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-08-02

An illustration of stinginess is cited
by writer, who knows q man who
talks though his nose in order to save
wear and tear of his false teeth.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-08-02

The average life of French women is
said 10 be thirteen years longer than
| that of French man.
Morris tribune., 1883-10-06
WOLVES AFTER THE NORTHERN
PACIFIC.

The complaint which it is pretended
is being made by the eastern stock
holders of the Northern Pacific against
it's president, Mr.. Willard, that he has
been eXtravagant, as completed the
road at too grea, Il sacrifice of the
roads money, and that it will never
pay, running through Il country so
good fer nothing, is merely the howl
of those who desire to run the stock
down to the lowest possible figure, and
then buy it un. This is @n old game,
and can never be made 10 win in this
instance. The Northern Pacific cGn
never be bagged by any such asuG;cr-
fuge. It's business is such already.
that it will purchase $50 more engines
as soon as they can be had, 10: tie en-
tire running stock OF the road is now
in use, and it is found that it cannot
begin to supply cars for its freights, as
fast rs they are wanted, either to the
through or local business. Although
lslC county III ttit t4ti.lii tiG'it tililS
ofthe road may be entirely worthless,
as the howlers pretend, still that trade
coming fifty and & hundred miles
north and south of its line, will, to-
gether with the through freights, af-
ford it all the business it can handle.
This read is the oliy outlet Montana
aud Wesctrn Dakota, and Northern
Idaho has in the winter, and virtually
the only one in summer, and each sec
ton OF country where there is so little
opposition, would need TO contribute
| but little 10 have local business enough
10 support it. 1t is 40 dead carcass
| that wolves can get away with, but it
is a genuine and live western enter
prise, itch, we'll supported, and will
have all the business il can look after,
witt! more to follow in the fast filling
OF til" country.
Morris tribune., 1883-10-06
LADY SUPERINTENDENT OF
SCHOOLS,

rvnn ~ pYul Di.Dof,.n .av. lh0l A.
tor,av C,anoral Holm has decided that
. woman can he Sunprintendant Of
Schao,s IN Minnesota Thi, oucstion
hos ba,.pauitotod for . nnmhar Of wears
o,1 has several tin;cs been presented
in =, i,f,rn,o, ,,onrnrto,hn for,nar
Attor,oy r,a,,araIs vbo wara 70
,,.,,1 -, J., .o s,+.,o,,,<,,, ~. t,,o o,,i,,;o,,
Morris tribune., 1883-10-06
A BANKING BASIS.
The Plan of Issuing Two Per Cent
R0nds Under Consideration.

WASHINGTON CITY, Oct. 4.-Secretary
Folger has entered upon the consideration OF
the recommendations which he will make as
to tho proper course to take to supply
stable and economical future basis for BANK
ing. He has obtained the views of Control
Ter Knox, and it is not impossible that
he may recommend a long 2 per cent. bond'
into which, upon terms favorable to the gov
eminent and just to the holders of the per
cents, the latter bonds, in the option OF the
holders, may be converted. The offers which
the secretary of the treasury received pend
ing the discussion of the per cent rate
were such as to lead to the conclusion that
long per cent bond could be readily hoated
at par. Secretary Folger himself has ex-
pressed the opinion that 2 per cent. long
bond, the exact limit of the bond not being
mentioned, could be sold at par, and that 1t
might be wise course for the government
to pursue to issue such bond, and to buy
up some of the As, even if it is considerable
premium had to be paid for them. The sec
rotary has not formed any definite policy.
He is now considering the financial situa-
ton, and unquestionably feels the necessity
of doing something to relieve the difficulties
which may arise if large surplus shall
make it seem necessary for the treasury to
continue its policy of calling in the per
cents
Morris tribune., 1883-10-06
POSTING TIE SENTINEL.

The LIE Sueur Sentinel has not fairly
gone down 10 the bottom of the fight
between the milirrs' association and
the railroads so as TO understand the
Whole controversy, and for tliis reason.
we will she'd little more light upon
the subject. We saw long time ago,
that the association was getting the
farmers wheat at a great profit to it
self, and to a correspond ing loss on
the farmers part, and to remedy the
evil started out for competing wheat
market at Duluth, where it could be
reached with cheap lake freights to
the east, thus compelling the associa
ton to pay the highest market price
for the wheat, or to let it so where it
would be paid.
At about this time, eastern buyers
rushed into Duluth, purchasing at ad-
vanced rates, and thereby drawing the
supply to that point to such an extent
that the association could not obtain
sufficient to keep their mills running.
Here is where the war commenced.
The association sent delegates to Mil
waukee to demand of the several rail-
road lines leading in that direction,
that their freights on wheat to their
mills, and on flour from them east, be
put down so low that they could, by
sending their flour around by Chicago
to the east, compete with eastern
millers who took their wheat by lake
to the east, and thereby cut of all COM
petition at Duluth by eastern buyers,
or the association would be forced to
close it's mills. This the roads refused
to do, but the association feeling they
should not be refused what was so
much to its benefit, asked the roads to
reconsider the question for two or
three weeks; this was agreed upon,
and at the end of the time fixed, the
roads again refused, and the associa-
ton declared war upon these roads
and refused to purchase wheat on their
lines, and mostly closing their mills,
while the wheat went pouring into
Duluth at a rate never known before.
Then the association began to threat
Ell, and force things in revenge, against
these roads, and went through the per-
formance Of chartering the Sault st.
Mary road, to take all the business
away from the roads which had re-
fused a lowering of their rates. All at
once the association began to smile,
and the report became current that
the roads had cayed in, and the
freightS had been partially put down,
but the truth Of it is not publicly
known.
The general impression IS, that the
smiling was caused froii ;::e fact that
the association had pu .iased a con-
trolling interest in the Minnesota &
Dakota Elevator Company and the
Northwestern Grain Dealers Associa-
ton, both of which were opposition
elevators along the st. Paul, Mime
apolis & Manitoba and the Northern
Pacific lines of road. This was done
to prevent the wheat going to Duluth
and falling into the hands of eastern
millers, who were paying more for it
than the association, thus controlling
the wheat marketed in the state, even
if they had failed to control the freights
of the roads. Here is where the mat
ter now stands, and from which it can
be seen that the farmers must become
the victim Of the association until a
plan can be devised for their rescue.
Morris tribune., 1883-10-06
A WESTERN NAN DEAD.

Jefferson 2. Kidder, Judge Of the
Fourth Judicial District of Dakota,
and Associate Justice of the Supreme
Court of that Territory, died in st.
Paul on the I'd inst. When he first
came west he settled at st. Paul, feel
ing that there was no country like
Minnesota, but he was DESTROYS of a
life more public than the practice of
law afforded, and seeing no opportuni-
ty for political advancement in this
state to suit his string ambition, he
pitched his tent in Dakota in 1865,
where he was for several terms elected
as a Delegate to represent that Terri
tory in Congress, and although true
to his local trusts, he always proved
himself genuine friend to Minnesota.
He has been upon the bench of Dako-
Ia for about ten years, and has ever
been found to he aAjust and upright
Judge, never permitting the holly con-
tested questions agitating the Terrific
ry to unjus!ly swerve his judicial
opinion in the least. He was a west
ern man in every sense of the word.
He was full of ideas Of his own, and
always sought to cling to that which
was the most practicable, rather than
clinging to form and ceremony; and
should, as man of great usefulness,
have lived many years longer; bat as
Divine Providence has in His eternal
wisdom decreed otherwise, we must
submit, and take it that our loss of a
friend is his gain.
Morris tribune., 1883-10-06
EPISCOPAL COUNCIL.
Thirty Third General Convention OF
the Protestant Episcopal Church.

PHILADELPHIA, Oct 4.-The thirty third
general convention of the Protestant Eplsco-
pal church of the United States opened, with
services held in the venerable Christ church
on Second street, near Market, the corner
stone of which edifice was laid in the year
1772. The gold alns-dish presented to
the house of bishops by the convoca-
ton of Canterbury, England, occupied
place upon the altar, surrounded by the YES
sells of the silver communion service presented
to the parish by Queen Anne in 1850. The
church was crowded, l, Jos tickets having
been issued for the service At 1875 pro-
cession of the clergy filed in as the 2O2d
hymn was being sung. Rev. G. L. Hutchins,
OF Medford, Mass, secretary of the con-
vention, read the services, Bishop
Smith, of Kentucky, pronouncing the alb
solution. The first lesson from Micah, fourth
chapter, was read by Rev. DR.. II. j. Morton,
of Philadelphia; the second lesson from
Ephesians, third chapter, by Rev. Dr. Henry
C. Potter, assistant bshop-clect of New
York Rev Dr. Austice of Rochester, n. Y,
read prayers. The litany was read by Rev.
DR.. E. A Foggs, rector Of Christ church.
The collects and commandments were read
by Bishop Lay, of Easton, Md.