Daily Los Angeles herald., 1883-06-03
A Startling Disclosure.
BY JOHN QUILL.

- nave tcIIlOAO 4O'S
make. Who would have though
that in this very community Their
isa band Of men who are leaguet
together for the purpose Of doinl
deeds at which angels might wei
weep. and at the recital OF which
the hardest man would shudde
aud tear his hair out by the hand
ful9 Why, nobody.
Upon my return from thu
South, was waited upon by M,
friend, Felix O'Dowd, who made
the following statement, which
hasten to give to the public, sc
that people may prepare to de
fend their affairs and their fires,
strike till the armed foe expires,
and keep out Of the green graves
of their sires. thus saving funeral
expenses and sustaining the
healthy reputation Of the city.
edo you know" said Mr.. Felix
ODowd, "what all these bast
ball clubs are fora"
"Why, to amuse young men
who have a fondness for working
hard gratuitously, of course,
said I.
s'Ha, hal" laughed Felix.
wildly, mot SO; let me whisper
it to you"
"They mean blood!!"
II board with tho Secretary Of
the Tom-Iit Club, and in tt,
silent watches Of night befor.
last, I skw him rise up of his
couch, go to the bureau. read d
lot OF papers, run his fingers
through his hair with wild anu
desperate air, draw his razo
across his throat three times, sigL
deeply, and return to bed.
/ examined these papers next
day. I tell you these base bal
clubs are Klu-Klux- Klanners il
another shape. They are going
to deluge this land with blood
sOh, I tell you, undertaking
business will prove profitable mex
Fall. Holders Of coffins will be
come opulent. Don't sell short
in cemetery lots if you wouldn't
become beggar. Buy in all the
tornbstones you can get your
hands on"
Felix, you have been imposed
upon. 1t cannot be that"
"This base ball business is a
swindle,' said Felix, "a blind,
a base ball deception. They
merely go out and profess to
play. SO as to develop their
muscles for the terrible deeds
which they are to do. 1t is all
fixed. The organization moves
like machinery. Each one has
his appointed work. The scatch
ers' will go around with lasso
and rope in stray victims. Then
the pitchers will pitch into them.
The 'short-stop' is to murder his
victims quickly, and put short
stop to their misery. The long
stop is to torture them on the
rack-demoniac engines in the
shape of hat-racks, which they
all have ready in their houses.
Felix, this is too horrible
for"
"The scorers are to go around
and pick out the victims, scoring
them on the back, so that the
slayers will know them. The ar
rangement of mines is alone
suspicious. Nine has always been
o mysterious number. 1t is de-
ternined, also, that each nine is
to elope with feminine. This is
modelled on the celebrated action
OF Romulus in the case of the
Sabine women. II you recollect,
Rome got up and howled on that
occasion. Polygamy is to be al
lowed when the slaughter is
over"
There must be some mistake
here, Felix"
"Out on a foul means to hit
men on the head without warn
ing, and launch them into
eternity. / know all their secrets.
To catch on the first bound
means that some men ale to be
completely tied with q lasso be-
fore the crowd rushes out on
them. 'Out on a fly refers to the
manner in which those who en-
deavor to escape by running will
be treated. They will be shot
dead in their tracks"
Felix, you must see the Mayor
about this instantly"
"a 'home run is when some
frantic man rushes to his home
and seeks refuge in the bosom Of
his family. These will be boiled
in red hot oil, aud their bodies
sold to medical schools. Match
games are those where bodies OF
men have barricaded themselves
in houses. The buildings will be
undermined, the cellars filled
with gunpowder and the whole
concern touched off with a slow
match"
"You are certainly the victim
7 OF some wild delusion, Felix" ]
said.
mo I'm not, I tell you. ]
know them. Those sticks they
call bats will be used to brain
thick-headed men with. They
are poisoned at one end, and
when they sink into your skull
you are goner without doubt.
\ 80 pshaw, this cannot possibly
be, you know"