National Republican., 1883-07-18

over those lines which she should not SOC.
pasted 1t very carefully;
For thonght: OF all the girls know
Mover doubt but she heads the row.
She's best of all, nnd wouldn't give
A care to her for year to live.
20 only the edges I'll paste Bit
And she'll have no trouble removing IL.
Boston Post.
"THEY never fail who die in great cause"
Some, mys the Picuylne, arc willing to pay ten
cents on the dollar il they can 1.-Two aud keep In
business"
SURPRIsED eyebrows are among the now
fashions. ThCy are very becoming to maiden
when she suddenly hears that the ice cream has
giyOn out
Now that Columbia college has determined
TO admit women mono have applied for admission.
What woman wants is what she can't have
Boston Post
RUsKIN says no couple should marry until
they have courtcd seven years. This would lead
one to think that Ruskln runs u soda Fountain
Boston Past,
| In France women live an average of thir-
teen years longer than men. This is as it ought
| to be. 1t is only a woman who looks well in n
mourning costurne.-Detroa Free Press
"WELL," said the lady whose husband had
run away with the school-ma'am, there's one
consolation; know the inside facts Of this scan
dal, aud that's more than those splteful old maids
| across the way do"
WE reckon tho girls now will all quit
powdering their faccs-a Chinaman iu Louisville,
when questioned about getting married. to white
girl, replied, Me 10 wantee marry and eatee
chalkee. ."-Rentucky Journal.
"THE bully Tor buliyess) of Sioux City is a
woman weighing go pounds and she dstin-
guished herself by assaulting and knocking out
two men q few dNys ago" The lady has doubt
less been married for some years.
A BLACK eye does not always denote COM
| bativeness. 1t may be the evidence of q pro-
| pensity Oh the part of u mans wife to leave MI
empty coal scuttle at the top of dark flight of
stairs that's ALL fOnkers Statesman.
The girl who hasn't moment to spare
when the dishes have to be washed thinks
nothing about time when she Is trying to cover an
eighth OF an inch pmple with sixteenth of an
| inch piece of court plaster-SyraCuso Herald
AN English psychological society is dis
custing the question "Aro angels ever sleepy?"
II young man finds his "sngel' yawning about
II D. m. he may conclude that If she isn't
sleepy, his company is not appreciated.-P
| Sum-
The editor of the Chicago Times mentions
three serious objections to the outlet plan for pre-.
venting floods in the Mississippi: I" 1t is too sim
pie to be understood by scientific engineers; it
costs too little to be popular; the Mississippi river
runs the wrong way to be improved"
Glow much did you pay for your new
dress ?" asked Mrs. smith. Eight cents a yard;
| they asked ten cents" "Why" said Mrs Smith.
sit is just like mine isn't It? But did better
than you. They asked me eighteen cents, and
got II Tor twelve cents. 1got off more than you.'
WHAT are you readingp asked Mrs.
Shoddikins; something interestingP" Very"
replied Mrs. Brown, ait is II Penseroso.' "oh,
dearp exclaimed Mrs. s., "what is he ill of 2"
Mrs Brown was polite enough to reply that sho
didn't know; abe had only just begun it.-Boston
Transcript
The question "Where do all the pins go?"
is again revived. A country editor confesses that
1t cannot be said, perhaps, where they all CO. but
when ones wife is away, and one is standing OH
one leg, grinding ones teeth and trying to pin
collar together in the absence of shirt buttons,
some of them so into ones neck.
"YEs," said Spillman, AZ knew Mr.. and
Mrs Brown we'll / never saw another couple en-
joy married life like they did They lived together
more than forty years and never cross word
passed between Them" "Indeed what ro-
markably congenial couple" "Yes they were
deaf and dumb."-Sonlervtiic Journal.
Mrs. JANE SwIssuELM says ''the things
we call women are simply small packages of
aches and pains done up in velvet and lace and
topped out with ostrich plumes" The editor of
the Norrstown Herald wants its readers to mag
lne woman weighing $50 pounds being called
a "small' package Of aches and palms,
TWENTY-FIVE years ago young lady of
this town had singular dream. She consulted
dream book, and learned that she would have
four husbands before she reached the age of 80
This made her rather independent aud she Is
now All old maid OF AZ, and has never had beau.
Some dream books are not as reliable us they
might be,-NOriStoUn Herald.
A MICHIGAN youth has had run of bad
luck Last week his gold watch was stolen. Then
he lost $50 trying TO determine in advance whas
base ball club would win. When he came homa
he went for u boat ride seeking to drown his sor.
rows IN the flowing river. When no came To dis.
embark some one on the bank threw brick and
hit him OH the head. nearly knocking him senses
less.
ACCORDING to the San Francisco Post +,
there has been heavy advance in the price Of
quinine since the rush set in To Oregon and Wash
ington territory. Malaria is thick in Portland
that they hew it out in chunks aud the doctors
and druggists hire boys to leave II on the door
steps The people put quinine on their pancakes
| instead of sugar. OF course Jerseymen feel per-
} fectly at home there ..
THE idea of jolly vacation is conveyed in
the following New York anecdote " DR.. Johu
Hail goes every day to pray with lady who lies
,
comfort to her She said to him: Doctor, they
say shall last all summer Now do not allow my
suiIerngs to spoil your vacation. When you are
> ready TO go, come and say goodby to me- Good
by + said he. NO, shall not leave you, These
r visits to you are my vacation"
+ MISS CELESTE WINANs the daughter Of
Ross Winans, is engaged, as Baltimore gossip runs,
= to Mr., Hutton, wealthy young man of the north
OF Ireland The young people met in Russia u
few years ago, and Mt a second meeting at MOSCOW
during the coronation ceremonies they became
engaged. She has millions, and the Baltimore
, dude wants 10 know Hutton earth she goes TO
the north of Ireland TO spend her Winans for.
-NeW Orleans PteaylRe.
: COMMENTING upon q remark disparaging
the work of the newspaper reporter, the st. Louis
n Post says: "As for accuracy and truthtulness,
there is calling in the world which is subjected
10 severe n test that of reporter. The doc"
tors mistakes are hidden under ground, the law
yers are known only to the Judge, the minister's
o congregation cannot answer him back, the ner-
chants mistakes are rectihed privately, but thou
sands OF critical readers stand ready 10 test the
/. porteTs work, and If he makes mistake, tho
1 paper is called to account for 1t publicly"
$ ONE of our churches has a somewhat &C.
centric parshioner who often affords the oongre.
IIn hoa haIIt 81