The Dawson journal., 1883-04-05
HIS PA GOES SKATING.


What broke your pa up at the roller
skating rink?' asked the grocery man.
%, everything broke him up, said the
bad boy. He is split up so high that ma
buttons the top of his pants to h.s collar
button, like bicycle rider-Well. he had
no business to have told me and my chum
thai he used to be the best skater in North
America when he was boy. He said he
skaici from Albany to New Yorl, in an
hour and thirty minutes Ne and nv
chum thought if pa was such terror on
skates VIC would get him to put on pair
Of roller skates and enter him as the great
unknown and clean out the Whole business.
We told pa that he must remember that
roller skates were different from ice skates.
and maybe chat nc couldn't skate on them.
but he said that it didn't make any great
difference what they were as long as they
were skates, and he would paraiyze the
whole business. So we got a pair of bio
roller skates for him, and while we were
strappin5 them on, pa he looked at the
skaters glide around on the smooth waxed
floor just as though they were creased.
Then pa he looked at the skates on his feet
they were fastened-sort Of fororn like.
tie way horse thief does when they put
shackles On his legs, and l told him if he
was afraid ho counldn't skate with them
we would take them off but he said he
would beat anybody there or bust sus-
pandcr. Then we Strengthened pa up and
pointed him toward the middle of the
room, and he said 'let GO and we lust give
him little push to start him, and he began
to go.-Weli, by gosh, you'd died to have
seen pa trying to stop. Yousee, you can't
stick In your heels and stop, like you can
on ice skates, and pa soon found that out,
and he began to turn sideways and threw
| his arms and walked On bis hee's, and he
lost his hat, and his eyes began to stick
out, cause he was going right against an
iron post. One arm caught the post and
he circled around it few times, and then
he let go and began to fail, and sir, he kept
falIlng all across the room, and everybody
got ont OF his way exec 1t a girl, and pa
grabbed her by the polonaise like drown
ing man grabs at a straw, though there was
not any straws ia her polonais as know of
but pa just pulled her along as though she
was done up in shawl-trap, and his feet
weIt out from under him, and he struck
Oh his shoulders ard kept on going, with
the girl dragging along like a bundle Of
Clothes. II pa ia another pair of roller
skates on his sho ELDERS and casters on his
ears, he couldn't have sid along ANY bel
Ter. Ia is short, thick man, and as he
was rolling on his back, be looked like a
sofa with casters on being pushed across
the room by girl. Finally pa came to
the wall and had to stop, and the girl fell
right ACROSS him, and with ner roller skates
IN his neck, and she called him an old
brute, and tod him if he didn't let 90 Of
her polonaise she would murder him.
Just then my chum and me got there and
we amputated Pa from the glrl and lifted
him up, and told him for heavens sake
to let us take off the skates, cause he
couldn't skate any mere than COW. and
pa was mad and said for us to let him
alone, and he could skate all right. and we
let go and he struk out again. Wen. sir.
l was ashamed. An old man like "a
ought to know better than to try to he = /
boy This time pa said he was going to
spread himself. and if am any Judge of .
big spread, he did spread himself. Some /
how the skates had got turned around
sideways on bis feet, AMI bis feet ro, To
gong IN different directions ana pas feet
were getting so far apart, that was afroj
l would have two pas half the size. with
one leg apiece. tried to get him 10 take
un 70 collection ofhiH le 5; and set them in
the same ward Dut his arms flew around