The Portland daily press., 1883-02-07
Wit and Wisdom.

A country debating society is nerving itself |
up to wrestle with the question, when |
woman and a mouse meet which is the most |
frighteped?"-O City Derrick.
Horsford's Acid Phosphate for Nervous
ness.
DIR. II. N D. PARKER, Chicago, says: 81
have thoroughly tested it in nervous diseases,
dyspepsia and general debility, and in ever
case could see great benefit from Its USE"
Mile K, who plays travesty at the theater,
Is changing her clothes for a masculine suit.
Her little niece enters the room and cries: "Oh,
MY aunty is going to become my unclel'
Group, Diphtheria and Whooping Cough
get prompt relief and rapid cure by the use of
Kurakoff, the wonderful Pine remedy
"Do you realize-have you reflected over it
ANGELINA" whispered Clarence to his be-
trothed. "Only two weeks more and We shall
be one But remember, darling, am to be
that one"
Kurakoff, the lung healer, and great Pine
remedy cont aims neither opiates nor narcotics.
Free samples to actual sufferers. Gappy, Kins-
man & Alden, Portland, Me.
Visitor (endeavoring to impart information
to young mnd) 1.-THE little bird in the cage
belongs to the finch family, and" Three
year-old listener-"No, it don't. 1t belongs to
me-"
The great sale of Swedish Remedies is aston
ishing, and for enriching the blood, creating
an appetite, or strengthening the whole system
nothing can surpass these remedies.
'Pa, is it right to call man born in Poland
Pcle?" "Of course, my child "Well,
then, if a man is born in Holland is he a
Hole?" Tut, tutl III answer no more of
| your silly questionsp'
Ayers Sarsaparilla wonderfully improves the
| complexion and brings to old and young the
bloom of health. AS purifier of the blood,
| it has no equal,
81 don't believe you have the water OF the
right temperature. You must get thermome-
ter" said an Austin mother to the new colored
nurse. "What am dat?" SIT is an instru-
ment by which you can tell If the water is too
hot or too cold" 81 kin tell dat ar without
any instrument Ef de chile turns blae den
de water am too cold, and eft hit turns red den
1 knows dat de water am too hot."-Texas
Siftings.
| The old fashioned Hop Poultice or bag is far
inferior to Hop Plaster both as pain-killer
! and strengthened. Call tor it at any drug store.
Puck calls the young people the unsalted
| generation. Now we understand why the ladies
always go in transports over little fresh heir.
A gentleman late one evening met his SER
want. Halo, where are you going at this time
| of night; on no good, I'll warrant? I was 60
| ing to look for you, SIR
Don't trife with throat and lung affections.
Take Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar.
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in one minute.
Are You lost, my little fellow@ asked a
young gentleman of four-year-old, one day.
| No., he sobbed in reply, 'b-but m-my mother
| isl
| Many who never complain are nevertheless
seriously i'll. Use Browns Iron Bitters and
there viii be no cause of complaint.
When they build new sawmill, the first
/ thing they do to popularize it is to send circu-
| lars round. That Indicates buzziness.
| The heavens are as deep as cur aspirations
are high. [Thoreau.
A Portland lady said: 81 owe my success in
cooking buildings, biscuits, doughnuts, dump