Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-12-21
<LEAsAyTRfEs.

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<LEdsASTRIEs.
OAr young lady who Il everlastinsiy
knitting her eyebrows be called indus
triousi
THE only prize the English carried %
at the Derby was a surprise. but II was
abig one.
TIM age Of discretion-The age when
company airs can be put on or taken Oh
N necessity demands.
VINO says IL Is unhealthy 10 sleep in
feathers2 Look NJ the spring chicken
and zee how tough he IL.
Do NOT tell man he lies. II Is vul-
gar. Say that his Conversation suggests
10 your mind summer-resort circular.
IT has been definitely settled at Iasi
that the reason why the pigs tail curls
IL because its styed when IL is young.
"NorHIse Is impossible 10 him who
wills." Nonsense il is impossible foi
the man who wills TO get ahead Of the
lawyers
When a woman attains the age q ~
without accommodating husband she en-.
joys attending one funeral more than .
dozen balls.
AnrAuTruL maid In Carlisle
ON the back Of her mech hal bisie;
when her lover forgot
And Rugged The sore pot
Her screams could h. heard for misle.
IT is now believed that the oleomar-
garine factories put hair in their goods,
thus rendering il more difficult Of de
lection than ever.
wHnSEvrR young Indies learn how t5
stick pin IN their apron strings 80 thai
II won't scratch fellows arm there will
be more marriages.
CTR you want broth Of boy, take
me-" said the Irish sailor to the cannibal
King. But the King said he preferred
him roasted. tie wasn't fond q broths
"wnAr can run faster than a good
horse2" was the conundrum, and thu
man who had had some trouble with hi,
creditors guessed ii at once; "Ths
Sheriff" .
TIM lates. sweet thing for the iadie
h ivory heels on wedding slippers
When the frst-born gets old enough u
gee into mischief the ivory heels shoulc
be removed.
TINS New Orleans Picayne state,
that Philaaelphians kick against th.
elevated railways. Jehoshaphatl Thsi
beats the best efforts q the soldens
troupe.
"PvT upon my tombstone" said tbs
dying man. can cpitaph stating that J
was scoundrel, thief and brute. Then
people will think that I was good uian
Epitaphs always lie so"
APAnBor in Harlem speaks $50 words.
There being less than that number o.
profAne expressions in the English Ian
euaee, "a ia presumable that the bird II
something Of polyelot
"Tuxzx goes the celebrated M. c.
In l<sne 4~~yer.." remArked HlAdy q
her companion. M he passed them in tho
street Excuse me. madam, said he,
turning sharply. "you are mistaken; .
lame man, not lame lawyer"
~YE.. yoar Augustus ssfr..ar-
eAia sue 10 krsbsllA
81 fraud r" AID Belle, ~ can't AFFORD
To her that o. my feller:
HES tine and isied, snA e,pd hsaaA.
And deicsss and tslniy%
aAh. yca. but thsn.- Mis- sus rrpisd,
.Hss sors Of beau Gus, sint bsY"
Towns clipped down BY the nd'of .
banana skin. and as he rose fsoA the. ice
and snow he said. THANK my stars thai
I do NOT live in a tropical country, where
the ice would be covered with baaans
skinA"
THK man who stepped ont Of bed and
put his foot upon piece Of oilcloth says
the occurrence il worth sfortune 10 him.
He Is going 10 freeze ice-cream Nv
merely wrapping piece Of the material
round the freezer.
IgrrLs pair 81 gloves th@syssr
Rstain ne smsi % dover,