The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1883-02-01

Paradise is eternal
Don't be frightened; You will be
able to get ont. Come" and lie took
me to Saint Peter. ''Ypu will rccog-
nize this gentleman" he said to him;
che will only go in and out"
Enter sir, enter; will recognize
you."
Here am in Paradise, and arrived
at the right moment. Raoul and Gas
ton, who Ind lain in wait for the pas
sengers, had already thrown themselves
on their wife. CASTOR had taken her
right hand and pulled from one side,
saying: Jeanne, my dear Jeanne"
Raoul had taken her left hand and
pulled from the other side, saying:
Martha, my dear Martha She had
two little names, and she had thought
it best, when she became engaged to
her second husband, not to keep the
nickname which had been used bv the
first. This was IN adorable creature
who had wonderful delicacy Of senti-
ment. Raoul and CASTOR in the mean
while did not either of them let go Of
her hands.
Jeanne"
Martha
| Il am your first husband"
! II am your second husband"
"NTy rights are not disputable.
".Sir. let go Of Madame"
81 am not speaking to you, sir. l do
not know you."
! "I do not know you."
! Now they Ind been intimate friends
during their lives on earth, and could
never pass each other without stopping.
| Raoul did not bulge from his place
| near CASTOR, and the dispute between
them became hotter. They raised their
voices. Life is very peaceful in heaven,
but it is n little monotonous, and the
least event has the same effect Us a rum
away has in little provincial village.
All the blest, both male and female,
gathered around from all parts. Some
took the part of the fifst husband, some
Of the second. As for Jeanne, she had
discngayed her hands, and spoke
neither to Raoul nor to Castor. Saint
Thomas had accompanied me into Para
disc.
"This kind of thing" I said to him,
"must often happen. Women who
have had two husbands are not ut oil
rare on earth
"Grantcu: hut what is new. abso-
lntelv new. is this fashion Of two men
disputing about one wife. Ordinarily,
in the same circumstance. the question
is. which one would not take back his
/ wife?"
"And when the situation is reversed,
when there are two wives and only one
husband?'
"Oh! then il is entirely different
The question among the women is
which one will be able to get back her
husband. Women are wild for hus-
bands, even in Paradise. We had,
however, On odd incident on tho day
Napoleon I. arrived"
"Ah! He is in Paradise, Napo-
leon /. ?"
"Oh! he had little while in Pur-
gatory; and, frankly speaking, it was
Justice. Look at his history with Plus
III. at Fontainebleau! He was still in
Purgatory when. in 1852, after the
coup d'etdt. Napoleon III. behaved SO
handsomely to Plus IN. that II was
thought that they could not decently
keep the uncle of such nephew in
Purgatory any longer. So they opened
the gates of Paradise to him. He ar
rived, and his first words were: And
my two wives?'
Have YOU any preference
Il Yes, certainly. will most will
ingly take back Josephine
"They immediately run to Josephine.
1T is Napoleon. He is here, and he
wants you.' am very sorry,' an
swered Josephine. dryly; but, after
what happened in 1909, never, never,
never
"They 90 Immediately to Marie Lou-
ise. who screams. 1 see Napoleon
again? who live SO peacefully with
the General! Don't speak to me Of
Napoleon. Let him take hack jose
phine' Neither one nor the other
would change her resolution. Napoleon
remained standing alone. feeling rather
vexed. when Nine. de Stael ran up.
Napoleon said she. give him to me.
/ will take charge Of him. and they live
very happily together"
At this moment Saint Peter was in
terrupted by n cry from the crowd oi
"The Eternal Father! the Eternal Fa-
therw 1t was the in truth the Eternal
Father. He was passing that way by
chance. and, having heard noise, he
stopped. A dream--this is all dream
BE careful and don't forget that.
Really he was the Eternal Father ol
the Italian school. In gray cloud. I
long white beard, and with an admira
BILE air ef indulgence and Of charity, Ii,
. is common and virtuous Jupiter. HI
stops and asks what is going on. The,
tell him briefly.
VERY well. says the Eternal Father
''what could be more simple? Madam.
is here as reward for her Christian
,, sentiments and her religious conduct
She has right to the greatest possible
happiness. Let her decide which o
these two gentlemen she prefers.
"But," observes CASTOR, that ons
of us which shall be beaten comes il
last?" CASTOR, who owned racing
!, stable on earth, still kept using til,
;; most deplorable expressions even in tn
presence Of the Eternal Father.
"Very we'll" answered the Eterna
Father, TO the one Of yon who is no
chosen / will give one Of the womel
.. who have not been reclaimed, and VIII
,. are encumbering Paradise"
"Make haste, madame, don't let Il
lose any time. Make your choice.
Silent and motionless Jeanne stoo
between her two husbands, and hot
0 CASTOR and Raoul tried to think Of
/ sentiment which would 90 most surel
I to her heart.
Remember" said CASTOR. "tha
I when l married you you had onl
Y BOO ONO frames for n dot "
$ "And you had not cent when l, |
1 my turn, married you; your dot ha
r gone for frippery, and Monsieur Ia
. idiotically eaten up his fortune in bat
I carat and the races"
"Yon had only 3OO,O 900 francs, and
: could have married little Blanche d
: Timiane, who had ZOO, 900. know yer
: we'll that your father said to me: :
Z eaAn n1an r.