Connecticut western news., 1883-05-23
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS. WHAT WE FIND IN THEM TO SMILE
 OVER THIS WEEK. Trip in a Sleeping -Car-An Ofset-The German Barber-NOt Afraid-A Matter
 of Sense, Etc., Etc.
A TURCOMAN TRICK.

TURCoMAN TRICK. Not even the Shah s life is altogether happy one. A short time ago that monarch sent some music-boxes and mirrors to the Khan of Bokhara. The Khan in return sent the Shah half dozen particularly pretty girls, not one of whom was more than sixteen years
 old. On the way they were captured by some Turcomans. The Shah first tried
 to recapture them, and then offered as
 ransom for them number of decora-
 tions, including the great Sun and Lion | order. These the Turcomans scorned,
 saying they preferred odalisques to jewels
 every time. Finally the Shah offered 4,OOO francs apiece for the girls, which
 the Turco1nans accepted. But after the
 money was paid and the odalisques
 brought to the palace the Persian mon-
 arch fairly howled with fury at discover
 ing that the perfdious robbers had kept
 the sssweet sixteens" and sent him in
 their stead some of the veterans of their
 harems who were more remarkable for
 age than beauty.
 CLAIMED AN OFSET.
 The Poughkeepsie Eogle says "hired
 man" who has been employed on farm
 in that county for several months en-
 tered suit against his employer the other
 day for the balance of wages, amounting,
 as he claimed, to thirty-two dollars.
 The suit came to trial, and it looked at
 first as if the plaintiff had clear case. He gave dates and figures in straight
 forward way, and seemed very honest
 man. When the farmer took the stand
 he said:
 ''I claim an offset for that thirty-two
 dollars. No man need sue me for what
 I honestly owe."
 "What is your offset?" asked the law
 yer.
 "He is an unbeliever."
 ssIn what?''
 "Why, in the Bible"
 sWhat has that to do with your owing him thirty two dollars ?''
 , ''It has heap to do with it. had six hands in my employ, and we were rushing things when hired this man He hadn't been with us two days whel
 they stopped the reaper in the middle o 3 the forenoon to dispute about Daniel Il g the lions den, and in three days we ha' v a regular knock-down over the whal V swallowing Jonah. The man who ra y the mower got arguing about Samson s and drove over stump and damage t the machine to the tune of eighteen do e lars, and the very next day my boy brok n his leg while climbing fence to hea . and see the TOW which was started owe t the children of Israel going through tn o Red Sea. It wasn't 8 week before m e wife said she didn't believe Elijah wa l. fed by ravens, and hang me if 1 didn l, find myself growing weak on Noah an :- his flood. That's my offset, sir; and e he was worth anything, I'd sue him fo
 thousand dollars beside"
 $ The court reserved decision. e IN SLEEPING CAR. A traveller relating his experience in " sleeping car says he awoke to find h 0 bald head against the window, and h feet out in the aisle in the nickle-plate U cuspidore, and the car was colder than refrigerator while he had only sing U blanket no thicker than sheet of pape He says: |" I was stiff all over, and g IL up and staggered to the end of the ca J. and what do you think found ? ~. "Why, I found the porter rolled U " on the back seat, in six blankets, ia
 asleep, the fire gone out, and both doc
 open, and he was snoring for all tn
 was out, while the car was going at for ,d miles an hour across the prairie. We Ill I was mad. I took all the blanke Is away from him, and covered he..co' of with piece of oil cloth off the floor, al a. took fifty pound piece of ice out of t lk tank and laid it on his chest al ks wrapped his arms around it, and sh ht the doors and went to bed. Pretty so he I heard the colored man begin to talk he his sleep. He said, away fun dar W a. dem cold feet. I dun tole you never ok dem frigerator cars of yours no whe 'e- near me. Take dem right away or der he eoin' to be divorce, on de ground re cruelty to animals Then the coon wo nd up and said if he had a 'raazer to would knife the man that put that ice be him, and pretty soon heard him bui id ing fire. Now, what claim IS tt w. George Pullman should have made Ire thermometer in every car, and m 'ly enough to keep the temperature abe up right, and not use colored man fol tn thermometer. ."-Peck'S Sun.
 IS NOT DOCTOR HE NEEDED. 'e- Lawyer Pullman is an Austin law. gs who has great reputation for collecti 'te bad debts. If the money can be got to of man he will get it. It was to t gre lawyer that little Bob Binckley refer ol when he was requested to run quick on doctor, as neighbours child had sW '>' ;, lowed coin.
 JIG "Doctor, be blowed, I'll run for Lt . uo yer Pullman, he'll get the money out III Il, the kid quicker 'an dozen doctors. -1, , 7eras Siftings.
 A DOUBLE DISCOUNT.
 The Richmond, Va.. Religious fl 'oo old, says: We heard Brother Holmes