Morning journal and courier., 1883-03-26
List of Patents Issued from the United States Patent Office fo
By Rail Through Tartaros.

' lHEOAA bno EAA1 Ida1i 0Azet1esl How many Londoners have ever travelled
 in one stretch right round the underground \ railway? The proceeding may seem ira ! tional, yet 1t is worth while once in way ! and, indeed, no man is likely to try it more \ than once-if only to realize the full porten- \ tousness of our Metropolitan Inferno. Some \ of these days, when the circle is quite fin ' ished, we shall, no doubt, turn it to it's natu- ' ral use, as place of punishment. Prisoners | will be condemned to so many continuous I 'tround trips" as they now are to so many weeks in jail or so many lashes But in the present imperfect state of our civilization we may yet for some time continue to travel by | it. It is an incident of semi-barbarous condition-very useful indeed. but not the
 less scandalous on that account. You laugh at such sxtravagance come and see! Make your entrance by this artistic shed, it will soon be Philistine station, which calls itself Towerhill The train is just starting. Don't be alarmed at that series of loud, sharp re- ports. It is only the porters shutting the doors with their usual gentleness that is the signal of departure. Some uncouth noise,
 you will soon find, Is the signal for every
 thing in the neither world. The una6r0e
 SiIe1ltes are mere fiction of the poet. Open
 the door and jump in; but jump clear-the
 train always starts as you are jumping. And
 now you are in it, all in a moment, '"mongst
 horrid shapes and shrleks and sights unho-
 ly.' There is lamp overhead which just
 shows you the darkness, window by your
 side which just lets in the smoke. The car-
 riage jolts and rattles and groans and scrapes
 and squeals, but all several noises seem to
 merge in one dull generality of noise in the
 deadened atmosphere. The whole train
 nay, the whole neither worlds rumbling in-
 side your head. You close your eyes, but in
 a moment the air is rent with tuneless
 screams. A dozen treble voices, variously
 cracked, solicit your custom for rival evening
 papers that you can't read if you buy them.
 That is the signal for halt. The brake re- spends with a growing jar, which sends sympathetic tremor up the back-we are at station. Distracted crowds of men and wo- men surge hither and thither then there is another discharge of artillery, another jerk, and the rumbling and shriekiDg have recon menced. When this has happened three or four times the sense of hearing has adapted itself to circumstances and the pleasures of sight begin. For they are not unadorned, these capacious vaults in which the Stygian horse receives and disgorges it's victims. All colors that strike the eye, colors of business that have no name in the world of art, em blazon the wall in hideous rivalry. Keen and Colman are intertwined in @ mortal struggle for supremacy in the yellow realms of mustard, while the tender green of Camu- sets champagne seeks to interpose with soft suggestions of ybaritic delight at 42s. a dog en. And oh, Cock and Cookie and Cockerell Hgnett and Hogben and Pinxton and Oetz- mann,. and all ye other great of the earth Oh, milk food and ebonite backing and fruit salts and crushed cocoa nibs-what specta- cle do you conspire to present to the artistic eyel Meanwhile we have got to Kings Cross. The first stage of your probation is over. Prepare for worse.
 The region of alternate night and twilight 1 is behind you, but ''cloud instead and ever during dark'' surrounds you in the very heart 1
 | -IN- become numbed by this time, but taste and 1 smell yet remain to be assalled by the me phitic fumes that grow thicker and thicker, 1 and fouler and fouler every moment. Shut l the window and you are stihed open 1t 1 again and you are choked. And now ob- l serve, if yon have 8 taste for toxicology, how l the same poison works differently on differ ent order of beings. The stiff sPinster op- | posite you is shaken with convulsiye cough. l The stout old gentleman by your side is nod l ding toward your shoulder in drowsy torpor. | The very train seems to groan more heavily, | to grind along more slowly than before. Nay, | now 1t has Altogether ceased grinding, and | this time 1t has halted in the dark It is an | accident Never mind. You are as indif- | ferent to 8 collision as seasick voyager is to 1 shipwreck. But no, it is not an accident; 1t | is station, but no capaciOus vault this time, | only an ordinary bit of dark tunnel with a | long covered shaft, that leads, perhaps, in the | Lar olstance, to the light Of day. EorJ see, men come tumbling down tt cheerfully. They | are unconscious of the fate before them. | But those who ascend it do so with heavy | steps and dazed mien. t'Hoc opus, hic labor sst. l" Your eyes smart and water; your brain reels. When shall this tyranny be | overpast?
 Hope revives at Edgware road, to die again | about Sloane-square. During the interval | A little of the upper air-or upper fog, &C., | ,ording to the season, has once more 'strug- yled into the carriage to fight desperate, | though losing, battle with the foul gas which | put now ruled supreme in its narrow con- ines. The excitement of the struggle serves | 70 cheer the dropping spirits of the passen- ger during the last weary season of relapse, | for the end of your journey is worse than the beginning. Of him that makes the internal ,ircuit, one may say, adapting the words of | he poet
 Smoke stench. and smoke in eyes, ears. mouth and
 
 from the black deep to the black deep he goes"
 And nov, to show that even all we have Iufered has not quite destroyed our power # scientific observation, one word about the nethod of what is called ventilation, which prevails in the Metropolitan Inferno. Venti-