Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1883-06-01

dressed, had black bair rather thin and ting
| ed with grey, and eyes in which cleaned the
/ fires of a determination not to be easily balk-
/ cd. She walked into well known lawyers
Office in Ronneys block, and requested a
/ private interview, and having obtained IT,
and satisfied herself that the law students
were not listening at the keyhole said slowly,
solemnly and impressively 81 want di-
vorce."
What for? l supposed you had one Of
the best of husbands, said the lawyer
"Is'pose that's what everybody thinks, but
If they knew what l had suffered in ten
years, they'd wonder l had not scalded him
long ago. l ought to, but for the sake Of
the young ones, I've borne it and said moth
ing. I've told him, though, what he might
depend on, and now the times come, won't
stand 1t, young ones or no young ones. III
have a divorce and if the neighbors want to
blab themselves hoarse about it they may,
for won't stand it another day"
"But what's the matter? Doesn't your
husband provide for your Isn't he true to
you Doesn't he treat you kindly pursued
the lawyer.
eve get victuals enough, and don I know
but he's true and kind as men in general;
and he never knocked one of US down.
wish he had then I'd get him in jail and
know where he was nights" rctorted the
woman.
Then what's your complaint against him? 2"
"Well, if you must know, he's one Of them
plaguey iiners."
"a what Z"
"a jiner. One of them pesky fools that's
always jiniu something. There can't moth
ing come along that's dark and sly and hidden
but that he'll ipe it. II anybody should get
up society to burn his house down, he'd
jine it as soon as he could get in an if he
had to pay to get in he'd 90 in all the quicker
We had not been married more'n two months
before he jined the Know Nothins. We liv-
ed on farm then, an every Saturday night
he'd come tearin' in before supper an grab
fstful of nutcakes and go off gnawing EN-,
and that's the last I'd see Of him till mornin'
and every other night he would roll and tum-
BILE in his sleep, an holler, Put no one on
guard but Americans, George Washington
And rainy days he'd 90 out in the corn barn
an jab at picture of the pope with an old
bayonet that was there. l ought to have put
my foot down then but he fooled me so with
his lies about the popes comm to make all
the Yankee girls marry Irshmon, and eat ell
tue babies that want born with crosses on
their forehead, that let him 20 and kinder
encouraged him in it. Then he lined the
Masons Perhaps you know what them be,
but l don't, 'cept they think they're the same
kind O critters that built Solomon's temple
an took care of his concubines and all the
darned nonsense about worshipful masters
and squares and compasses and such like
that we had in the house for the next six
months, you never see the beat And he's
never outgrown it nuther. What do you
think Of a man, squire, that'll dress himself
in a white apron bout big enough for a mon
keys bib, an 90 marching up and down
maxim motions and talkin' the foolishest lin
go at picture of George Washington in a
green jacket and truss on his stomach
Amt he loonyticky Well. that's my Sam
and I've stood it as long as I'm going to.
The next lug the fool made was into the
Odd Fellows. / made it warm for him when
he came home and told me he had jined
them but he kinder pacifed me by telling
me that it took women, an he'd get me in as
soon as he found out how to do il. Well, one
night he come home and said had been pro-
posed and somebody had black balled me-
Did it himself, of course. Didn't want me
around knowing his goings.on. OF course
he didn't, and told him so.
Then he jined the Sons of Malta. Did not
say anything to me about it, but sneaked off
one night, pretending he had got to sit up
with sick Odd Feller, and I'd never found
it out, only he come home looking like man
who had been through a threshing machine,
and l wouldn't do a thing for him till he
owned up. And so it's gone on from bad to
wuss, and from wuss to wusser, jinin this
that and tother, till he's Worshipped Minis.
ter of the Masons and Goddess of Hope of
the Odd Fellers, and Sword swallower Of the
Finnegans, Virgin Cereus of the Grange and
Grand Mogul of the Sons Of Incidence, and
Two edged Tomahawk of the United Order
of the Black Nen, and Talebearer of the Mer.
ciful Mannikins, and Skipper of the Guide of
Catherine Columbus, and Big Wizard of the
Arabian Knights and Pledge passer Of the
Reform Club, and Chief Bugler Of the Irish
Machinists, and Purse Keeper of the Order
of the Canadian Conscience, and Double bar
relied Dictator of the Knights of the Brass
Circles, and Standard Bearer of the Royal
Archangels, and Sublime Porte Of the Onion
League, and Chambermaid of the Celestial
Cherubs, and Puissant Potentate of the Pc
terrified Pgstckers, and the Lord only knows
what else I've borne it, and borne it, hop.
in he'd git EN- all jined after awhile, but it
amt no use, and when he come home last
night and told me he had gone into a new
one and had been made Grand Guide Of the
Knights of Horror, l just told him I'd quit
and will"
Here the lawyer interrupted saying:
"Well, your husband is pretty well initial
ed, that's fact but the court will hardly call
that good cause of divorce. The most of
the societies you mention are composed of
honorable men, and have excellent reputa-
tions. Many of them, though called lodges
are relief associations and mutual insurance
companies which, if your husband should
die, would take care of you, and would not
see you or him suaer if you were sick"
See me suffer when he is sick! Take care
of me when he's head Well, l guess not
and if l can't, l can get another. There's
plenty of 'em. And they needn't bother
themselves when I'm sick, either. If l went
to be sick and suffer, it's none of their bust
ness especially after all the sutiern's I've
had when amt sick, because of their carry
in's-on. And you needn't try to make me be-
lieve it's all right either, know what it is
to live with a man that iines so many lodges
that he don't never lodge at home, and that
signs his name, Yours truly, Samuel Smith,
NJ. NJ, l. o. F., X. o. b. X. of P. P. of H.,
of Il. A. H., l. p. X of Y, N. of c., L. E.
T., H. E. r., r. l. p, Y. Y H., &c"
'Oh, that's harmless amusement" re-
marked the lawyer
She looked him square in the eyes and said,
Il do believe you're jiner yourself"
He admitted that he was TO certain ex-
tent, aud she arose and said; II wouldn't
have thought is. man like you, chairman
of a Sabbath School, and superintendent of
the Republicans. It's enough to make a
woman take pizsn. But don't want any
thing of you. l want lawyer that don't be-
long to nobody or nothin'." And she bolted
out of tho office and asked where Squire
Crane kept.
SF----='--7-------
A FIOreRtIRe FuueTaI,
The night of our arrival was one OF those
unearthly moonlight nights which belong to
Italy. The Arno, changed to a stream OF