Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1883-08-09
FEMININE MUSTACHE WEARERS.
Tortures Some Fair and Foolish Women
Undergo.


Undergo.
While mustache may be avery valu-
able acquisition to 4 gentleman with an
exaggerated mouth or an imperfect set
of teeth, it is the bane of woman S eX-
istence. 1t frequently happens that
brunettes are ANNOYED by having the
beauty of their faces married with faint
muStache that needs but fraction OF
encouragement in order to assume pro-
portions that would make callow youth
fairly writhe with jealousy. What is to
be done with this Superfiuous hair is a
grievous question, particularly if the lady
Is young. When woman gets huS-
band she gets wisdom in the bargain,
wears big shoes, loose gloves and makes
no study of the glass unless it be to
know when her face needs washing.
Some young women attempt to conquer
the annoyance by the use of n pair of
scissors, and the result is they soon find
the evil greater that ever
Individually, women are such little
FOOLS said a downtown doctor yester-
day. You would scarcely believe the
crazy things am consulted about every
week. For instance, lady DESTROYS of
having her picture taken wanted to wear
a low-necked dress, but the artist re-
monstrated because her collar bone was
too prominent. She postponed the en-
gagement and came to see me.
3" I'll give YOU any money if you II fix
me- Here she pulled her dress open
and began to show me her poor, Scrawnv,
bony neck, that it were merciful to keep
from vulgar eyes. | told her there was
nothing she could do but diet herself
and get fat. But that wouldn't do; she
wanted me ito hammer the bones in
some way, or blow the skin out told
her that | was not equal to any such
tricks, and she left, saying, We'll, I'll
have to 90 and see some Quack, for | am
determined to have the thing done
1.-The next glorious specimen of wOm-
anhood brought her pretty little daugh-
ter, child of four years, and wanted
to know if l couldn't do something to
keep her nose down. i have been rub
bling it down ever since her birth, but it's
mouse, and unless something is done, and
done soon, she will growup snub-nosed.'
''TheneXtinterest consultation was
had with a fresh young lady of fair COM
plexion, with brown hair and a very
perceptible little mustache. This she
wanted removed by next week, because
she was going to a wedding in Indian
apoIiS. She said she didn't mind it in
the daytime, because she always manag-
ed to wear veil, but in full dress it was
too awfully provoking. [ told her that
her Imagination did a great deal to
magnify the trouble, and if she just let
it alone it wouldn't bother her much
II 1bo To no in bnf
style. [ could remove it, of course, but
if she found her lip in 4 month or so COW
cred with a luXuriant little muStache |
would repudiate all blame.
''She did not expect this. She was
sure [ was mistaken. So | told her l
! would experiment on her arm. She took
her dress off because she couldn't roll
her sleeve up, and | selected n spot just
above the elbow where | would remove
the hair. But if / should ever want to
wear short sleeves, and a bic tuft of hair
grew out-what then?' she inquired
with arch innocence.
Then try the operation on your leg.
"AnOther spot was selected above the
knee. / deemed it eXcusable to play a
joke on her and teach her lesson. So
. | lathered up about two square inches
of her leg, got sharp razor and shaved
/ the section as bare as this knife handle.
I know she will watch the effect and find
it more than she bargains for. Before
going I told her that if she attempted to
try the same operation on her lip she
would be able to negotiate for position
with BarnTim.
Grub your lip well, apply bay-rum or
| any strong perfumery and you will be
able to lessen the growth. | showed
her how friction prevented any accumu-
lation of down on the fingers, and if she
has not already rubbed the skin off of
her upper lip it is because she has been
distracted by the fertility of her Shaven
understanding Chicago Herald.