davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-03-03
Afcciinnatcly.
ELDER MATTHEW


As soon Us the reading was finished,
Giveadam Jones arose.
So did Samuel Shin.
So did Judge Cadavcr.
So did Shindig Watkins, Stability
Perkins and Turnover Cartright For
a moment there was Il great shouting
and waving of arms. and then the Pres
ident called for order and asked:
"Why dis rumpus? Judge Cadayer, do
YOU desiah to say anything?'
IL do, sab! ] regard that chilblain
remedy us dead insult on de character
of dis club!' -
$50 do r. echoed hundred voices.
'An' move dat de ayes an nays be
called on vote of indignashun."
Support de moshunr'
The Secretary called the roll, and the
vote was passed by majority of 2ll.
the President not casting q ballot.
Gem lem ho softly said after the
excitement had somewhat Gained down,
"a woman am rs tender on de subject
of small hands As on her character rs a
lady, an you can't insult a man quick
err n to poke fun at his feet. Howsum.
ebcr. dar am no use TO fly off de handle
in dis case. If we can't smoke our feet
ober anythn' smaller we must buy 10
connective bier, an if one old red ilan-
mel shirt won't do we must collect q
dozen. A man wild chilblains can't
stan still longnutf to be proud. De Com
mittee on Anatomy will experiment at
once
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-03-03
lure for Uhilblains.

The following communication was
read before the last meeting of the Lime
Kiln Club: Va
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-03-03
+, SUMMERS DAY SPORT


The following poetic puzzle appeared
Ievcral years ago in the Indianapolis
Herald, and at the time had u great run
The trick is 10 put IN the necessary rhymes
30 that the first rhymlns word has mean
ing in keeping with the context, and sec
0ndly, after the missing word Of the frs
line Is found the missing word OF the sec
0nd line must be eractly the same, with
lhe exception of having 0niy enc letter pre-
liked TO it; and the missing word Of tho
third line must be exactly tho same as tho
second, with just one letter more preiixeC
70 it, and all these must be English " ords
IN unison with the whole poem. To give
a clear idea of what is meant, we will here
imScrt the missing rhymes Of the frs
staDZa:
Tia captain strode from fore TO AFI,
AS lordly on his simple RAFT
As though IL were some noble CRAFT.
To give our readers good far start. ",
We VIII here Insert the rhymes of the sec
pnd verse:
The Heating warehouse brought to LAND;
Then, changing tone from blunt to BLAND,
Here Is the poem
The MISSING Ru,MEs.
The captain strobe from fore to
Ms lordly on his simple -
AS though 1t were some noble -.
lie shouted, showed and ordered, -
~ IUar .hpt
Then, changing tones from blund 20 -,
He cried his cargo, tons OF -,
Goals, linens, jewels, apples, -,
who'll buy my wares AT any -:
Aud buyers came with eye and -
sought large and little, pearl or -,
from book to barrel, spoon TO -.
re sold by inch. he sold by --,
Sold plow and screw, sold type and ---,
sold muslin for lady's -.
Sold pipes Of wine and casks OF -,
sold drums and flies, the camp 20 -,
sold game from rabbit up to =.
so'd iisb. from salmon down 10 ---.
Lumber for pencils and for.
Dlshcs from silver cup TO 49,.
ne sold 10 scri6es aud printcrs -
To florists, lily buds and =.
sold Sparfows' cages filled with -
lie sold 10 sketehers India --.-.
Sold chains Of gold, and many a -
That blacksmiths forge aud teaInsters--
lie sold to seedmen hemp and -,
To mllliners sold silk and =.
To dentists tools 10 pull or -.
nc sod to wear, TO drink, 10 -.
re Tended cold and iFaflckcd -
TIE buyers voted him -.
The sale was out, the tide was -,
The hoat, renewed by plank aud -,
Again adown the stream did -.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-03-03

II Catarrh has destroyed your sense of
smell and hearing, Halls Jatarrh Cure viii
cure you. - cents per bottle. Druggists
sell II. (a)
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-03-03
The Paragraph Fiend.

The first theft--The oahy's CRIB
The dairymans fortune-lIls milkmald
Stands to reason-A debatcr who won't
SIT down.
How to make Maltess croSs--s'ep on
her tail.
Gath ia still lccturing on "Thomas, the
Doub,er." After hearing the lecture peo'
ole do not blame Thomas.
IT. Louis had sacred wrestling match
On Sunday. This is the most atrociou'
misnomer yet,
A bride found seventeen full sets OF
dishes among her wedding presents He'
Tsr.seeing friends evidently knew that she
was gying TO keep girl.
A serenaded girl leaned too far out OF
her window, at Pottsvllc, Pa, 20 see who
the singers were,i and fell TO the ground,
wrecking the party and their song on the
way.
ENQUIRER: No, we don't believe in tax
tne the bull by the horns, We tried tax
,ng a goat by the horns once, and that was
excitement enough for us.-B0st0n Past.
The stale of Illinois is in pcrpexing
situation. It has no debt, and the bother
Is to take care OF its accommodating FUNDS.
-Utica Hcrald
The HeruM forgets that We have re-
publican Legislature who VIII loon relieve
rs of the "bothcr,"
Rev, DR.. Tamage preached on The
Human Ear" last Sunday. lie remem-
hers a former interview with II ST. LOUIS
girl, and thinks the subject large one
Boston 7ragetor
\ New York plumber has died from
overwork 1t Is suspected that he attempt.
ed To make out dozen bills in one week.
The old proverb. "Where there's will
there's a way" has beer revised to SUIT the
situation It now reads, Where there's Il
bill we're away"
\ Boston young lady Of wealth and po-
sitlon has astOnished society" by cutting
and making her own wedding dress She
also intended TO make her own wedding,
cake, but the Board of Health lntGrferel.
4 spruce and conceitcd young Mr..
Fell In love with another chaps sr.
With his sweet little cane,
At the end Of the lane,
He met and be fain would have kr.
But he trOd on her train,
At the end Of the lane,
And Il slap on his face made blr.
--l|a'biag'on RepubIicdu.
A Nashville woman has been arrested |
on the charge Of Stealing n pavement, and |
,ae Philadelphia Nccs cant imagine what
IN the world she waited Of such a thing.
The probabilities are that she was former
~ Phlladelphi4 servant girl, and intends
shortly to move INTO tn county. She de-
signed to take the pavement with her a
Philadelphia dom ste can't enjoy life if
she hasn't pavement 10 wash off every
mornlng.-Ch. TribUHe.
A SUMMERS DAY SPORT
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1883-03-03

BY always listening to other people,
you may forget that you have some
thing TO say yourself.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-03-29
The Bride Paid the Expenses.

One night last week, Boss" Hamil
ton, son of Mr.. Isaac Hamilton, at the
junction. procured half a dollar from
his mother for the avowed purpose OF
hiring horse to 90 to party at Joe
Newland's. Instead, however, he went
to the hou of Mr.. George Moore,
where his dulcnea. Miss Duckie Jen-
nings. was staying, and having pre-
viously arranged with her to fly with
him to Tennessee and become his bride.
they were soon in vehice and off for
Danville. where they took the train for
New River. station on the Cincinnati
Southern Railroad. Arriving there, a
Magistrate did the business Tor them.
and on ridav night last they returned
to the junction. The groom was
few days under seventeen. while the
bride is pretty. well-developed
maiden of sweet sixteen. We learn
that the expenses of the trip we're de-
frayed by the latter, the boy having
only the fifty cents his mother gave
him. His parents have refused him
the house. and we are told that his
mother is almost inconsolable at the
action of her baby boE.-Stanford
(Ky.) JossaaL
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-03-29
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

I Bret Harte was in turn compost
tor, miner. school teacher, express mes
ssenger and driver OF laundry wagon.
of Oscar w lde's future plans the
London World says HE goes back to
America in the fall, then to Australia,
and u timately to Heaven" Could he
not be induced to reverse the order of
his trip?--M. Y. Post.
Abraham Lincoln wrote in 1889:
81 must. in candor. say do not think
myself fit for the Presidency. certain
ly am fattered and gratified that some
partial fir ends think of me in that con-
nection, but really think it best for
our cause that no concerted effort, such
as you suggest. should be mad.."
Alexander H. Stephens was di-
mnutive man phvsica y. weighing lie s
than one hundred. and the lower por-
tiCn OF his spare body had been the
same as dead. from pa alysis. TO twenty
wears, but even in this cond ton he has
performed an emo mOu, amount of la
Dor. His mind has ever been vigorou /,
although hi, body was frail. Chicago
Journal.
The composer Wagner died from
disease of the heart. tie had on the
day of his death a severe attack, but
had resolved on making an excursion in
a gondola. He had another violent
seizure in the afternoon. A doctor was
summoned, and found his case hope
less. He died in his armchair. Cosima
Wagner. his wife. kneeling beside him,
and his children surro nding him.
Rev. DR.. Eu Fuy, who has been for
eighteen year; connected with the edi-
brial management of the New York
Christian A'trocate, has resi- gred his
los ton. He has number of literary
and other works on hand which compe
hi attention and take up his time.
ID ring large part of the term OF his
editorial connection with the aper he
has done the heavie part OF the work.
The death i announced. at the age
OF sixty three, of John Owen. "Owa n
Alaw.'' the national bard of Vale He
had for many year, taken prominent
part in Welsh musical education and
was ways successful as an instt uctor.
He had assisted at all the Eisteddfodan
he d in Wa es for thirty years, and b ID
composed an o~atorio, Jeremiah.
which has long been extreme y popular
in that country.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-03-29
HUMOROUS.
When a man S out OF date: When
hes weak back.

Wy neil Il NJdu OUT VI uttc w ucu
hes weak back.
How it Ended
Gray dawn was in the Eastern sky,
The ra n was fail ng ratter. pa ter;
I S ueeZed her hand and-well, no matter,
The boot-jack took me on the fly.
"A New haven lady having noticed
gentleman acquaintance standing in
a liked position in a look and paper
store yester ay afternoon entered the
store and asked him if he was station
ery.-keGtSter.
"A Kentucky woman has nearly re-
formed her husband by persuaiing him
TO use bottles O whisky as weights for
the clio k. The tener he drinks the
slower the clock goes, and the longer he
has 10 wait or h s mea S. 81
Prof. Julien assert that the brown
stone houses of New York will entirely
-crumble away in less than one thou and
wears. SO ruinous is our atmOsphe e.
That settles it. We shall not bui d a
brown-stone house Itwouldn be econ
,om NOyristOWn Herald.
"A book agent tried to sc a Cincin-
natl l i Imam a copy of .'Hiawa ha "
Pat looked at the tit and then at tn /,
canvasser. Higher wather. i it?'
avs he '.be abers the wather in the e
,digg;n is quote high emo Ugh. me b y.
iOc any dacent man. So e o wild yezr'
N. Y. advertiser.
-Anewly-marr ed couple from Way
hack were in the city yesterda,, and,
.of course. found an oyster saloon the
first thing. '.How DO you want them.
ION the half-shellp" the waiter asked the
groom. ''Nah- stree! thar's no half
She'll siness with this weddin' trip;
give EN- to us on the whole shell. =
Rochester Post Dispatch.
Twill you have your eggs scram-
bled or poached9' asked second grade
hotel waiter of a G angerIy looking hun
gry man who sat down to table in his
.Oiercoat ''Nuther one" was the
quick reply. 1--WE beea scrambling
around and poaching through the mud
ALI day myself. and have got enough of
IL. Idon,t want any of your lively city
eggs. anyway. ..Brinr me sasserful
.thst have never been set On. and hile' "A
.huil. " Desrott fose afi<--i ~ .-.-.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-03-29
Mr.. JONES' BeeNSteak.

"Jeptha," said Mrs. Jones one day
last week. IL wish You would get
porter-house beefsteak for break asst to-
morrow"
MIR. Jones' jaw dropped and he sat
and stared at his wife without speaking;
at last he inquired: SIS the Governor
of the State going to breakfast with US,
Maria?'
''Why. no: suppose we want some
thing to eat once in awhile if we don't
happen to have company" said Mrs.
Jones.
But good heavens. Maria! have you
counted the cost? am not a million
aire and we haven had another fortune.
left to US. How much porter-ho Sc
steak do YOU oppose it will take to 90
round in this famiyp''
"AbOut nine pounds. If it was round
steak, or chuck steak. two pounds would
do, because we couldn't eat it, but every
bite of tenderloin will be eaten. Yes"
said Mrs. j. smacking her lips. every
bite"
Jones went down town like one in
dream. He hated to refuse Maria and
he hated to spend so much money. How
ever. he decided that the thing INST be
done. So he drew a large sum from the
bank and went to his butcher.
mime pounds of porter-house steak"
he said feeling good deal as man
does when he dictates his last will and
testament.
Every good, SIR" said the man of
meats, rubbing his hands softly. AIRY,
cut a choice porter-house from Lady
Venus. Thank you. sir! h'anything
mOre?''
"Anything morer' Why, when that
steak was trimmed Jones could have
carried the whole lot home in his vest
pocket his mouth fairly watered when
he saw bits OF white fat, crumbs of bone
and large fragments of red meat Topped
OIL, after it was weighed, but he counted
out the money, paid for it, and tried to
look happy.
The next morning came; they had all
seen the steak the night before, and
Bridget had de Jared it would be "a
trate to brile it." and now they were all
seated around the table waiting for
Bridget to bring it in.
"Now children" said Mr.. Jones.
sharpening the carving knife, "don't
you ask for a second piece of that steak.
m nd now.'
Willie muttered something about be-
ing thankful it he got a first piece. and
Mrs. Jones was saying she wondered
why they didn't raise beef with more
porter-houSe meat, when Bridget opened
the door and intruded a CHASTITY face.
"Howly Moses" sad she. ''where' s
the mateP'
Jones turned deathly pale, and ex-
claimed: Il am a ruined man" Mrs.
Jones rushed into the kitchen followed
by the rest of the family.
There was the clean white meat
board, the hot coa's and the broiler, but
n meat; they were still staring at each
other when the milkman stepped in the
open door.
"Isit your meat you re looking a'ter,"
he asked pouring out the regular quart.
Its about out to Hamtramck now, for
met big black dog tearing out of the
yard with a beefsteak in his mouth
The family tiled mourn :ully back to
the dining-room. There are tines
when silence is golden-this was one of
them. Detroit Post and Tribune.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-03-29

lnvalids who are
recovering vital sta
nina. declare In
grateful terms their
appreciation of the
merits, as a tonic, Of
Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters. Not only
does It impart
strength to the weak.
but It also cOrrccts
an irregulsr acid
state Of the stomach.
makes the bowels
act at proper inter
walls, gives ease to
those who suffer from
rheumatic and kid.
ncy troubles. and
cOnquers as well -
prevents fever and
ague. Forsale by all
Druggists and Deal
ers generally.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-03-29
LYDIA e. plNKHAM'S
Is q Positive Cure
VEGETABLE COMPOUND.

lS POSITIVE cure
fo~aII those Painful CO0plaints and Weaknesses
socOmnOA to our best female population.
It will cure entirely the worst form Of Female
plants all ovarian troubles, Inflammation and Ulcera
tion Falling and Displaeements and the consequent
Spinal Weakness, and IS particularly adapted to the
change Of Life.
It viii dissolve and expeI tumors from, the uterus In
early stage Of Development. Tho tendency to cam
humors there checked speedily by its
removes fantness hatulency, destroys ell craving
for stulants and relieves weakness Of the stomach
It cures Floating, Headaches, Nervous Prostration,
General Debility, Seeplessness Depression and Indi
gestion-
That feeling Of bearing down. causing PAIN weight
and backache is always permanently cured by its
Il will at all times and under oil circumstances act in
harmony with the laws that govern the female system
For the Of Kidney Complaints Of either sex this
Compound is unsurpassed.
LYDIA e. PINKHAM'S VEGETABLE COM.
POUND is prepared at 2e3 and rs Western Avenue.
Lynn Mass. Price g. Six bottles for s. Sent by mail
IN the form Of pills. also Of lozenes receipt Of price,
g. per box for either Mrs. Pinkham freely answers
all letters Of inquiry. Inclose &c. Stamp. BEND for
pamphlet Address as above. Nentton this paper.
No family should be without LYDIA E PINKHAMS
LIVER PILLS They euro constipation, biliorSaess,
and torpidity Of tho liver. Is cents per boz.
R~ Sold Nv MI Err~~s-'.. -Rn
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1883-03-29

"A Pawtucket man. able bodied and
mechanically expert, has four children.
between the ages OF n ne and sixteen,
but none of them are allowed to 60 to
school. They are my only support.
he say s; and they work in a mill. while
he does nothing.--Proridence journal.
The dog star is sky (el terrier. 1t
is broadly insinuated that the inventor
of thise0;ncidence was Sirius.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-04-11
MORTGAGE SALE.

r EfAULT having been made in the pay.
Dment OF the sum of four hundred and
sixty -one dollars and twenty-sx cents, (S46l 2S)
whichis claimed to be due at the date Of this no.
uce upon certain Mortgage, duly executed and
delivered by Joseph l.. Fox and Ella c. Fox to the
NLlmited) bearing date the 1st day Of July A. d.
1850, and, with power Of sale therein contained,
duly recorded in the Office OF the Register of Deeds
in and for the County of Brown and State of Min.
nesota, on the 4th day of December A. D. $780, at
o'clock A. ~, in Book M" of Mortgages ond
page 50 So, and following pages, and no action or
proceeding having been instituted at law or other
wise, to recover the debt secured by said mort
gage, or any part thereof
Now therefore, notice is hereby given, that BY
virtue of the power of sale conta in said Mort
gage, and pursuant to the statute in such case
made and provided the said Mortgag will be fore.
closed by sale OF the premises described in and
conveyed by said mortgage viz:
The south west quarter of Section eighteen u8)
township one hundred and eight G0s) Range thir-
ty-fonr t34) in Brown county aud State OF Minne~
sota with the here ditaments and appurtenAGces;
which sale will be made by the sheriff of said Brown
County at the front door OF the United States post
office, in the city of New Ulm in said county uRd
state. on the 10Th day of April A. D. 1883, at 9
O'clock NJ, of that day, at public vendue, to the
highest bidder Tor cash. to pay said debt and Inter
es,and the taxes for 1881 amounting to SO paid
by said MORTGAGE on said premises, and twenty -fye
dollars attorneys fees stipulated In and by said
mortgage III case OF foreclosure and the disburse-
ments allowed by law; subject to redemption at
any time within one year from the day of SALE rs
provided by Inv.
Dated February 18th, A. d. 1893.
EDINBURGH AMERICAN LAND MoRFGA GE &C
tlimltcd,l Mo RT0AaEE
II, G. DAY, attorney
Lane sboro, MINI Apr4
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-04-11
MORTGAGE SALE.

NEFAuLT has been made IN the conditions OF
La certain mortgage, bearing date the eth day
january. d. d. 1873, executed and delivered by
Gustaf odin and Margareta Odtn,. his wife, NOR
gagOrs, to Judas Newhart, mortgage, which,
mortgage was duly recorded in the Office of tie
Register of Deeds in and for the county Of Brown
and State OF Minnesota, on the 10th day of January,
A. D., 1873, at4:l5 O'Clock p. IN, in book "H" Of
mortgages, on page 355, gwen to secure the pay.
ment OF Two Hundred and fifty dollars, OF which
sum ifty dollars was payable Nov. LIST, 1879, and
interest thereon, payable annually from date until
paid mt the rate OF twelve per cent. per annun.
The amount claimed 10 be due and unpaid ut the
date of this notice upon said mortgage, 10 the
sum Of three hundred and sixty -sx dollars and
10 cents ($3GG40), besides the sum OF twenty-five
dollars and ninety three cents 1922 ss) paid by said
ed by said mortgage and with lawful interest
from MarchG, 1888, Is claimed additional
lien thereon, and no action or proceeding At law
or otherwise has been instituted to recover tho
amount OF sad mortgage debt or any part thereof.
Now, therefore, notice is hereby given that by vr-
tue of the power Of sale in said mort &c conssia
ed, and pursuant to the statutes in such case made
and provided, said mortgage will be foreclosol
and the premise. described in and covered by said
mortgage, to wit:
The south half of the northeast quarter Of sec:
ton twelve Qa) in township one hundred and
containing eighty acres ofland, according TO the
United States Government survey thereon, situated
in the county of Brown and State Of Minnesots,
sold at public vendue to the highest bidder for
cash, by the sheriff of said county at the front
door Of the court house, In the city o: New Vim.
in said county and State aforesaid, on Thursday
the 10Th day of April, A. D., 1883 at ten O'Clock =.
M, tor the purpose Of paying tina money due on
said mortgage. and the sum paid for taxes Is
aforesaid, together with the costs and expenses
of sale and the sum of twenty-five dollars attor-
ney's fees stipulated in said mortgage to be paid
case OF foreclosure thereof:
Dated. New U.m, Mimi, March 9TH, 1893.
JUDAS NEWHART, Mortgage,
and attorney in person.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-04-11
Demoralized Railroading.

Lyon County News.
Everybody is thoroughly Disguised
with the demoralized condition of
railroad affairs, We believe it is no
reflection upon the Immediate nan.
agement Of the Winona & st. Peter
division of the railroad, that the ser.
vice is so demoralized, and Supt. San
born and others have our sympathy
rather than censure. But there is
fault somewhere. Towns all along
the line from Sleepy Eye to Redfield
and Pierre are out of common supplies
and necessities, and merchants, lum.
bermen and fuel dealers, who have
had freight on the road for month
and more, are unable to get their sup
plies. Farmers have seed in transit,
that should now be going into the
ground. 1t is impossible to get any
wood, though dealers bought and paid
for it many weeks ago. Merchants
have spring goods ON the road. that
will be utterly useless in q few days.
Every lumber yard on the line Of the
road is cleaned out Of lumber, and
hardware merchants are out of build.
ing material Of all kinds, while pro-
visions are equally scarce. Now the
reason for all this decentralization il
simply the tremendous rush OF emf.