Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1883-05-10
A RACE FOR A KISS.
How n Young Wife Played Joke on
Her Husband.

How a Young WIFE PlayeO joke ON
Her Husband.
A butter peddler from Honey Lake
relates, with great glee, how a neigh
Dor of his was cured of too frequently
tipping the gin bottle. This neighbOr
married young, handsome and spirit.
ed lady, and for a month or two all
went well about the house and farm;
then the husband fell back into his old
tricks. The wife demonstrated, and, for
time, the husband reformed. Pres
emily, however, she became satisfied
that the bottle tipping" was again go
ing on. When she spoke to her hu5-
band about the matter he swOre that
the aroma she detected was that of a
collie medicine he was taking, he having
developed a most intractable collie, for
the relief of which he had brought
home and paraded bottle of medicine.
The wife was confident that there
was kept somewhere about the premises
q considerable store of very different
kind of medicine. She kept her own
counsel and at the same time strict
watch. In day or two she discovered
under manger in the barn the secret
hoard. She said nothing of the dis
cOvtry to her husband.
Some time after the husband had
business at neighbours some two miles
away. On his return he was some
what surprised at seeing note pinned
upOn his front door. He hastily ad-
vanced and read rs follows:
BEN: You will find the key of the
house where you keep your collie medl-
cine. | have taken Kitty aud gone
home to my mother. Father and
brother Bob will come tomorrow for
the trunk in which | have packed my
things. NELLIE
The husband rushed to the barn. At
a glance he saw that Kitty, his wlte's
mare, and the Side-sajdle were gone.
Darling to the Manager, he hauled out
his cOrpulent demjOhn of gin and sus-
pended from its neck found the Key OF
the house.
Securing the key, he sent the demi-
John whizzing and crashing against the
post OF the barn. Bounding forth, he
ran to and mounted the horse he had
left standing in front of his house.
Away he dashed. Ii was ten miles
to the house of his father-in-law, ana
he was determined to overtake his wife
before she reached it or kill horse III
the attempt.
Said the butter man: Now, Seeu
Ben's wife come over the hill hall 4
mile south of my house, on her little
mare Kitty, and begin to perform some
queer abolutionS. After she'd got over
the brow o. the hill she paced up and
down the road for time; then she rio
I'D and looked over the ridge for whlle.
After lookin' bit she turned ABOUT
and rid up and down the road few
times: then went up to the brow OF the
hill again. So she Kept doin,, and once
or twice she got off and led Kitty up to
the top of the hill.
IL was puzzled as to whether she was
wsitiu' for somebody or had lost some
thing while on her way to her fathers
place, some four miles beyond my
house. / was just about to walk out
that way when l seed her wheel Kitty
round from the brow o. the hill and be-
gin to ply her whip.
In half minute she was flynn past
my place like mad woman. L stood
at my front gate by the roadside, ready
| to hOller out at her to know what was
| up, but, bless you, she never looked
/ to'ards me. Her eyes seemed sot In her
| head, her face was pale and At every
| jump she let into Kitty with q whip. l
Swar, her ridin'-skirt fairly cracked as
she bounded past.
"Jist then heerd a tremendous clat.
ter behind me. Turnin' about seed
Ben a-comin' over the pitch Of the hill
on his big black boss like u wild CO.
manche. He was ridin' with loose
relns, leanin' away for'ard, and diggin'
his big spurs into his horse like he'd rip
his inSides out.
HE passed by, with hair and coat
tails ssilin' back in the wind, and never
turning his head to the right or left. /
thought seed murder in his eve. l
tell you million thoughts went
through my brain in a second. All the
stories I'd Yer heard about Jealous hus-
lands and insane husbands went