Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1883-11-03
SATURDAY. Smiles.

A health journal advises: "Do not lie on the
left side" 1t may be unhealthy. but what is a
man to 90 when he is lying on the extreme edge
OF the bed, with a twelve-nonths' teethng baby
wedged in the small of his back? Turn over
and spoil the infantI- brakes Magazine
John Ruskin says: THAT which was beautiful
yesterday is beautiful to-day" The woman
who has had her new fall bonnet spoiled by a
shower does not hold this opinion. -Son.e,-uille
Journal.
match safe is common article, but a safe
match Is an uncommon One.-BOStOn Bulletin.
what has become Of Maurice?',
=. HE is still employed at the post Office on q
thousand francs salary"
''Poor fellow! And Gerard?"
"Oh. Gerard is an ex-administrator Of the
Union-Generale; he owes twenty millions"
'Ah, the rogue! l always predicted that he
would succeed
1t is stated that northern travelling men are
becoming numerous in the south, and merchants
are receiving many f1attering attentiOns.' Flat
terlng attentions is real nice name for invita-
lions to drnk.-Boston Post.
you'll have to take the will for the deed" is
what the heir said to the lawyer when the latter
presented his bill.-Iofkers Statesman.
Algernon Swinbu"ne it is understood will soon
follow Matthew Arnold to this country As
neither of the gentlemen knows anything about
baseball their reception at the west will in all
probability incline them to make home rum
Brooklyn Eagle.
There are no nice little stories about the re-
turn OF THE Prodigal Daughter" The son can
return and have the finest veal served up for
him, but the daughter must stay away.
"They say that stibbles, of Ohio. having lost
his place In the government, intends to make a
doctor of himself" "a doctor! wonder what
put that into Stibbles' head?' "Why, you see,
he wants to be doctor so that he can always
have an Offlce!"
4 Ui6OWnr VI ho6 4 So,
Nice on his second wedding journey.
remember you very well" said the hotel
keeper, but your wife has grown very thin"
" "shs was taller"
" And lighter complexion was she not?''
Yes. Besides, you know, it is not the same
one!"
The last time the minister called on them he
remarked: %! didn't see you at prayer-meeting
last night, Sister Poots" mo" was the re-
spouse, stne night was SO stormy and the roads
SO muddy That l concluded not to go to the
meeting" But the Lord was there" inter-
posed the minister, with some severity. 81
know; but the Lord didn't have to wade through
the mud to get there"
The laugh is the sun of clear consciences. Be
mistrustful about houses and souls whose blinds
are always closed.
A darky on Pecano plantation. not long
since, was much tried by the obstinacy OF q
mule. After much urging aud kindness to the
brute he broke out with: .Look hyar, now!
mebbe you think cause jined the church last
Sunday that can't use big words; but I'll hab
you know II gwine to make 'ception in your
special case. "-1esas Sif1insgs
One Of the first things a new railroad ACQUIRES
is deficit. We don't know what it is used for,
but it's part of the equipment the first year.
Burlington Hd,okeye.
A magazine writer asks: .'How shall we util-
ize the lndians?' This is a difficult question to
answer, but perhaps the best plan would be to
getriiy them and sell them for cigar store signs.
This idea is worthy of consideration anyhow
NOrristO,cn Herald
A fables The landlord of summer resort was
once set upon in a lonely place by . highway
robber. AS soon. however, as the landlord
made known his business the highwayman ex-
tended the usual courtesies to the trade and
they parted friends Burlington Free Press.
The New York hangman is charged with
drugging his prisoners 80 that the gallows has
no terrors tor them. man should know when
ne Is hanged or it won't do him much good
Detroit Free Press.
Beware OF the woman who laughs always,
and Of the man who never laughs.