The Brookhaven leader., 1883-07-05

tn fine yu node soc mulch about
buks; aud that yu bad sutch littural
procliyitiz, WI "S-H-urely" ar q
man ov letturs-capitals mostly.
Feard vi ar studyIn tn mulch for
yer helth. Hents, eye wuld advice
WI az folIers:
Cup, my friend, and clear your looks;
Why all this toll and trOublef
Up, my friend, and quit your books,
Or ,'S-H-urely' you'll grow double"
This brings me tn motifs thurdly:
that with mulch diffikilty, yu revived
the 'chaste articles from Bald Hill"
If WI klame the onaer, ime perfectly
willin that yu have it; for this re-
leeves yer ole Urkle of some respon-
stability. Hents, we arrive at logi-
kle konklushun which reeds thusly:
that WI bekum responsibul for the
errers committed, an knot eye.
While at skull eye lurnt tn
take hackneyed jokes from others got by
rote,
withiust enough of learning to misquote;
| A mind we'll skilled to find or forge fault;
A turn for punning call it Attic salt"
Envy phool, whoz ole blew SOW
ever broke in on Quakumbors taters,
noze that kommon nowns an ajitives
doc knot begin with kapitals. In
daze of antikitv, pepul spelt thur
kommun nowns beginnin with kapi-
tails, but their ajitives, never. SO
yore stile of spelin IL two antik for
this ale ov liturel progresshun. Yu
or jest one hundred yers behine time,
ole Teller, for,
Times amt now like tina used to was bin;
Foxes don't doc now like tina nze to did
thin.
Han in yer kromy, ole boss, fur
want TO stick it up as reminder,
You'd better git out of that dubbul-
breasted, bakakshun, self-springln,
too-seetid, wheld baroosh, and
pa me thin too bits tn larn yn how
tn spell. l think so at least. Yu. or
too stylish for too bit mai cny-
how. In regard tn mi teechin a
singin skool in yer naborhud, eye
will inform yu that eye kant doc it;
an lie tell yu for viii, in the fust
place, the whang- doodle stile is sum
thin that eye hav no use for on erth,
specially on funeril ockashuns. Eye
couldn't teach it if wood, nor
wouldn't teech it if eye kood. On
hearin kollige samody, Lord BIZ
rum remarkt, that:
"Our choir would scarcely be excused
Even as band of raw beginners;
All mercy now must be refused,
TO such a set of croaking sinners.
| If David, when his tolls were ended,
| Had heard these blockheads sing before
| him,
To us his psalms had meier descended,
| In furious mood he would have tore emu
The rein eye kritisized yer muzic
waz, that it waz tn mulch on the
aforesaid stile awlreddy. lie knot
tax yer skull fur the above menshuned
rezuns. Hope yer viii announce in the
next ishue ovyer mulch depreshiatid
an largely sirkulalid papur, az fol
lers; viz: that Uncle Jim frum Bawl
Hill, haz deklind takin the singin
skool fur rezuns herein menshund.
Yes, sur, thar ar menny things that
don't klame tn no how tn doc; but
when Sc with mi Use an here with
mi yers, eye sumetimes no whether
or knot a thing IL write. Fur in
stunts, kant bra like an ass, but
no the kritter's voice when here it
Nevur did appreshiate the sents ov
hearin az did lassed weak, when
the familyer sound ov "Docksolojy's' y
voise GREETED mi yers. Oh. that he
may bra louder, an yit louder still.
Past memorys, and fond rekolek-
shuns krowded in upon mi sole, and
sweld mi hart with gladness, az the
EXC ov hiz welkum voise rezoundid
amung the naburin hills. My ia
theirs nabur owned won ov the krit-
tiers in the daze ov mi boyhood. An
now, az "Docksolojy' haz ass-ed me
bak tn Bawl Hill, this, purhaps il the
lassed ov mi produckshuns III APP
peer in yer papur on this suhjict. l
hav sum ritin tn doc that IL ov fur
crater importance than this; an lie
tel WI what it IL. 1t il an essa tn be
red befor the Hommenny Rig Insti-
tute on kOmmentsment da. An eye
hav chozen for mi subject. Hogs an
Asses, thur karac teristicks," etc. Tel
DocxsoloJy he will confur a faver on
me, if be will, at his erlyest conven-
fence, send me his biografy, contain
in the followin fax, viz: at what ale
did he comments kikin and brayin;
how menny pepul ever kikt bi him
the loudest an longest he ever brade,
and how fur hurd, etc. Then l want
the Wessun Harrild tn han me in his
chex on the folloin, viz. At what
time did WI comments brakin in on,
an demolishin later banks; the graf
est number ov gozlins We ever de-
vowered at won time; whether or
knot it kreated emmy hard
fealins on the part ov the onners !;
the length ov yer tale at sicks mons
ole etc. Doc this, an yule confur a
CRATE faver on you're. UNKLE jim.
p. S. Here the discussion ends as
far as / am concerned. What have
written has been with tender regard
for everyone. If / said anything to
wound the feelings of anyone, | here
extend to you my |" and ask par