The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1883-05-09
NAY WADRTGALS.

An editor, only married a week
ago yesterday, printed a fierce ar
ticle against "bossism.'
There" said she waving her
marriage certificate in the air,
a.there is the flag Of our union
In Algodones, y. NJ, lives Pu-
eblO Indian over 100 years old, and
he earns his own living by working
on a loom 100 years old, which he
made himself
1--WE acquire the strength we have
overcome" said Emerson. The
hunter who captured the polecat
made a precisely similar remark.
Yes, said the level-headed
school boy, I'm at the foot o my
classes, and l calculated to stay
there. Then l don't have to stand
the wear and tear of anxiety for
fear Ill lose my place.
One of the easiest ways to become
insane is to take a gas bill to the of
fee of the company and ask the
manager to explain why it is 30 per
cent. greater than it ought to be.
Teacher: Suppose that you have
two sticks of candy and your big
brother gives you two more, how
many have you got thenY (Little
boy shaking his head, "You don't
know him; he amt that kind of a
hey"
"How to stop a runaway horse.
Jump out of the carriage, catch the
animal by the starboard legs, and
throw him over on his back. This
is a very effective plan, but it re-
quires some presence of mind.
4 lady has a lap dog named Per
chance. "What a singular name for
a dog J" said friend. "Where did
you find it madam" ooh, i'm By
ron drawled the lady. Don't you
remember where he says, Perchance
my dog will howl ="
Wasn't Brown full of Jun down
to Jones's party the other night?'
said Emma to lady caller, within
her fathers hearing. "Fun yes"
sarcastically put in the patcrnal, 81
noticed him getting away with near
" two bottles Gift
At fashionable wedding in New
York the other day, the ceremony !
was performed under a floral UNI
brella This was probably a little |
suggestion of the brides mother, |
who wanted the groom 10 under
stand by the emblem that he ought |
to put up something for a rainy day. |
The President, it appears, wor-
SHIPPED very industriously in Florida
on Sunday-at the Episcopal church
in the morning, at the Catholic in
the afternoon and at the c0lored
in the evening. In this
way he not only showed the breadth
Of his theological grasp, but furnish
ed proof that he was not out fishing.
A hungry looking negro boy,
while carrying a bag along the
street, saw a dog gnawing n beef
bone. "Whut yer eatin' dat meat
light heah on de street fur?" he
aid. "Aia't yer got no mo- pitt
ness den dis?" and, STOPPING he
picked up the bone, put it in his
lag and walked away. The dog
unkcd after him and the boy turn
ng, exclaimed: "Doane yer cuss
no; Use had my eye on yer for
ONE time.
4 smart travelling man from Chi
ago tried to paralyze a dining room
,irl at Fort Dodge, Iowa, during the
blockade. At dinner one day
lie ordered sponge soup" and "quail
m fence" The gir7 went to the
,itehen and got a quail, and built a
ence on the plate out of kindling
wood. Then she got a piece of
PONCE from the bath room and put
I ia the soup, and served his order
n the presence Of several other
raveling men, who gave him the
,rand laugh. The landlord charg
"a him 81 extra for serving articles
rot on the bill of fare, and IL cost
lin So for cigars and drinks 10
Seep the matter quiet.