The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1883-05-11
FAMILY FO0LERY.
Brother Gardner Sets his Foot Down on
The Dudes and the DudOs.

"Gem'lcn, has painful bit o news to
spread befo de meetin'," began the old man
as he motoned to Elder TOots to put down
the alley window. "Nicodcmus Pembroke
Scott, a local member of dis lodge, has cross
ed into Canady an will not reappcar among
us, Fur de las three months have bin ex-
pectin some SIGH climax, an dis mawnin',
when n messenger informed me dat he had
disappeared arter failin' in an attempt to
shoot hisself wild an ole hoss-pistol, war not
a bit surprised. He leaves wife an two
chill'en an about fifty creditors
"What sent him off? De same reason dat
am daily workin' to bring about anodcr
panic-de same reasons dat explain de hun
drcds OBJ bizness faiures-de same reason dat
am crippln' de efforts of thousands of hard.
wOrkin' men TO secure homes of der own
family extravaganza. No, you can't call it
extravaganza foolery am II better name for
it, Up to var ago Bruddcr Scott was job
bin aroun an maxim n dollar a day. Den
he got q situashun by which he Armed fo'teen
dollars per week. He was poo off in de
house an had debts hanging ODER him, but
heah was de chance to get chen. How was
it improved In less dan one month his wife
was rugged out wild $50 dress IL shilin'
kids, n So hat an an opera fan. He had no
peace oh min Onless he obeyed her. In six
weeks she became too heightened to wash
an iron fur odder folkscs In two months
she wanted better house. wild red parlor
carpet an cane seat chairs all aroun' de room
In three months she had to have black silk
dress, gold bracelets, n tony bonnet, kid
shoes, an gold film in her teef.
"Dat foolery has reaped its harvest. De
husband found dat he was runnin' behind, his
home was bein neglected, his wife was bein'
gossiped about, an in despair he has picked
up his feet an slid out. 1t was the material
result. tell you, my frcns, de tomfoolery
of de women of dis kentry am strainin' on de
chalk. line till de cord can't stan much mo- D.,
an it am high time dat somebody sots his
foot down. De man who Arms S2j per week
has somehow got de deah into his head dat
de world expects him to dress his wife as if
he ARMED a bankers profits. Wives of men
who can't keep up wild der house rent am
canterin' up an down wild sealskin sacques
an Sc shoes Wives of men who have to
dodge de butcher an grocer an tailor am
now sclectn' spring carpets an Crderin' $50
lambreqliins Wives of men who couldn't
raise $50 at dc bank to save der nccks am
rushin' to balls an parties an havin' der eX.
pensiyc dresses described fur de benefit of de
public.
"De so called society of dc aige am com
posed of false hair, false prctenses, dcbtdodg-
ing, an base dccephsun. Our rich people
am distinguished by der plain dress an
quiet manners. De snides an dudes an
dodos do all the swaggerin', rush on all de
colors, an monopolize dc biggest sheer of de
street. You wait De man who lives fur
anoder ten Vars will h'ar suthin drap, an
artcr de drap takes place de thousands of
idiots who now feel ashamed to admit dat
they doan keep but two servant gals in de
house will go back to der cooli-stoycs an
wash-tubs an take DER proper places in tie
perccshun. "-Dct,DH Free Press