The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-01-27
SMILES.
Positively the worst Yankee notion out Ben Butler.-7He Tadge.

IadSe.
 Women have few sorrows which new sealskin sacque will not soothe.-FkH R.vey .d91an<e.
 An exchange says there four feet in each step in the new round dance. That giyes several hugs to the junp.-Gyib.
 Whether Aennor failed in his predic- iions or ne, as 10 an open winter, will you please shut the door :-Spyfsgfsld .Susiay Neas.
 Some of our exchanges print on pink paper-,hey are blushing for others who prin, 30 poorly that ii Is dirficult to read them at all.-Can6ridgf Zribune.
 Quite number of Texas editors did not ge; their papers out during Christmas. | was as much as they could do 10 get out themselyes-on bail.-SDhngs.
 Tht Basfsn .-ftivertIser has discovered that Ben Bli,er's message contains twen- iy-nine recommendations. eighteen insin- nations. fiTe Tnisrepresentaiions, four rev. elatons and one promise
 Figures never lie saith the proverb: in proof of which see statement of the belased lodse-goer who came in at , a. m., and told his iaquirlng be,ter-half that il was quarter of twelve.- Zhe ./adgf.
 A full-grown ostrich with all its feaih- CTS on. is worth abou, five hundred dol- lars. Without its feathers. i; is not worth anything. \ good many men and women are very much in the same way.-PhiIa- t5eipk,a .Ai>ses.
 Yes, said the landlord. do hate 10 have fool come 10 hotel and blow ou; the gas on retiring. It's very distress inF.-H His friends invariably so af fiicted that they forget 10 pay his bill -Ssme,9iAe ./oarrdI.
 \ co,emperary heads an editorial Thirty Years War. I-his. we suspect, covers the period of his married life. Matrimonial lnfelicities" would have been , less aggressive ti;le for his edi,o- ri..l.- .t9ry;5fo!-g fftfa!f
 ! Pullman car-porter says that very wealthy passengers seldom give more than fii.y cents. A that Tate d poor man would have ta put up five-1olar bill That's why editors walking gear IS so well deveioped.- CT Gtt. b!.-=a,d.
 l; may vel excite ihe military au,hori- i.es when the statistics of the past year show that ane-siNih ot the enlisted men in the service have walked or rode away from camp and garrison, without SO much as asking for the password to get back Chieago [ntcr Ocean.
 Terror Trail Dick. of Wyoming. asked Judge Lynch if he couldn't have his boots blaoked before he was strung up. Why" inquired the grim magistrate. Because you know Death loves shining mark..' :" Turn him of. boys" ferociously yelled his honor-Erratis Enrigaes Eriahes.
 One of the members of the present con- gross will edit newspaper after his term expires. We are glad io be able to re- cord so remarkable and rapid advance ment. and hope ;hs; the fact of his having been congressman viii not hinder him from becoming a respectable editor.- EychanSe.
 In the testimony in the Anchorage Asylum Maddox case. Dr. Bell. an ex- pert, testified that duckiug insane patients was beneficial. The doctor may be right, for We have always noticed that there is ne.i,ins that will esitss- -a.-eTa1y- old hen ;ha: wants ;o St, % her senses quicker , than good duckins in cold water. -hen!nf tj .>Astc /aayaH.
 The were passing along the stree, the other day. two ladies with faces lovely as the f.i-est roses and robed in dresses that prineesses might envy. The first angelic creature was jus, saying iha, ], was just too exquisiiely lovely for anything" but when she sa, down upon the cold. hard pavement. she simply remarked Darn such pavements. -E-ychange.
 Lord Erskine chose for his dogs name the sixth syllable of Aldiboron;ophoscop- hornio. in Chroneakafontfok3yos. His tory Is silent as to how he called his cat. = Ccmlfy- fouynsL And well ii might be. You wou!dn', expect il to tell us how he called anything else until it had re- covered from ,he effec, of that effort, would you:-Eies'aked Ritiaeay Jour- Eak
 How can leave you, my darling?- murmured Toledo lover in tones of distressing tenderness. as he observed both hands of the clock approach per pendicular on the dial. Well. Iohn.- responded the girl with wicked inno- cence. you can take your choice If you go through the hall you'll be liable 10 wake up father. and if you leave by way of the back shed you'll be liable to wake up the dog. 7oisIo AmeyIcar. A correspondent. who IS so fortunate, or unfortunate as the case may be. to be n love with two girls asks advise of the LfzDisr. Young man, the Leader has never been in love with two girls at the same time-and never will be-basing our judgment on observation entirely. We can only say 10 you. Between two stools on the ground you'll 20. Al least an old adage tells us SO: Nou .l be Jliiea by both, without doubt. Unless you Ee sise and keep sharp lookout
 -Hinsass L<sdey.
 Rev. NIT. Beecher says that ~ anything that is needed. and succeeds, IS divine. in this world According to this. there are a great many divine newspapers in this world: but what does the reverend gem ,leynan call those things ,ha, are needed . ri don't S,,rcaej : 6r .L.$ 1~~