The Dawson journal., 1883-02-22
HIS PA JOKES HIM.
THE BAD BOY RAISES A
MOUSTACHE WITH TAR.

PPoA SBAAPt odAu UAs
groceryman to the bad boy, as ht
came in and began to peal a ruta
baga,Sand his.upper lip hung dowr
over his teeth, and was covered
with something like shoemaker
wax.l"You look as gthough you
hadsbeenI digging potatoes with
your nose"
"oh, that's some of-.spa' ssdarr
smartness. I asked him if he
knew anything that would7make a
boy ssmoustachesgrow and ,he told
me the BEST thing he ever tried
was tar, and for me to rub it on
thick when [ went TO bed, and
wash it off in the morning. I put
it on lastnight,s.andIby gosh 1 can't
wash it off. Pa told me all l had
to dogwasa to use the'scouring brick,
and it wouldscome-off, and 1 used
the brick, and it took the skin off,
and the tar is there yet. and say,
does myslipslooksvery bad?"
The groceryman told him it was
the worst looking lip he ever saw,
but he could curesitEby rubbing
caynne pepper in the tar. He
said the tar would neutralize the
pepper and the pepper would loos-
en- the tar, and act as a cooling po-
ton to the lacerated lip. The boy
went to a can ofpepper behind the
counter and stuck his finger in and
rubbed lot of it ON his lip, and
then his hair began torise, and he
began to cry, and rushed to the
WATERFALL and ran his face into
the water to wash off the pepper.
The groceryman laughed and when
the boy had got the pepper wash
ed of, and had resumed his ruta-
baga, he said: ts
"That seals your fate. No man
ever trifes with the feelings of the
bold buccaneer of the Spanish
man, without living TO rue it. 1
will lay for you, old man, and
don't ybu forget it, Pa thought
he was smart wnen he got me to
put tar on my lip to bring nay
moustache out, and to-day he lays
on bed of pain, and tomorrow
your turn will come. Youwill re-
greet that you did not, get down on
your knees and beg myspardon.
You will be sorry you did not pre-
scribe cold cream for my bruised
lip, instead of cayenne pepper.
Beware, you twelve-ounce-to-the-
pound-huckster, you gimlet-eyed
seller of dog sausage, you sanded
sugar idiot, you small potatoe
three card monte, sleight of hand
rotten egg fiend, you villain that
sells smoked sturgeon and dogfsh
for smoked halibut. The avenger
is on your track"
'Look here, young man don't
you threaten Inc, or / will take
you by the ear and walk you
through green fields, and beside
still waters, to the front door, and
kick your pistol pocket clear
around SO you can wear it for a
watch pocket in your vest. No
boy can brighten me, by crimus.
But tell me, how did you get even
with your pap
"Well, give me a glass of cider
and we will be friends, and I will
tell you. Thanks! Gosh: but that
cider is made out of mouldy dried
apples and sewer water" and he
took handful of layer raisins off
the top of a box to take the taste
out of his mouth, and while the
grocer charged a peck of rutaba-
gas, a gallon of cider and two
pounds of raisins to the boys pa,
the boy proceeded: "You see, pa
likes a joke the best of any man
you ever saw, if it is on somebody
else, but he kicks like a steer
when it is On him. / asked him
this morning II it wouldn't be a
good joke to put some soft soap
on the front steps, SO the letter
carrier would slip up and spill
himself, and pa said it would be
elegant. Pa is a Democrat, and
he thinks anything that will make
it unpleasant for Republican
ffice-holdsrs' is legitimate, and he
encouraged me to paralyze the
letter-carrier. The letter-carrier
is as old a man as pa, and 1 didn'
want to humiliate him, but 1 just