Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1883-01-17
AN Englishrlan on American Manners

AN EHSllsnrlal Oh American Manners
Many of the best American women who
have travelled much in Europe avoid fashion.
able society in their own country, because
of the uncertainty of its code of manners
An American gentleman called on distin-
guished French general in Paris, more than
twice his age. TO his amazemcnt the call
was returned the same day. In his own
country no notice at all would most proba
bly, have been taken OF Il similar visit.
There seems Il strange cUntraricty in the
Washington and New York rules Of Ell
quette In the Empire city ii is the ladywho
bows tifst not SO i'll Washington or in the
exclusive circles OF Virginia, nor among the
members ol the oldest families, and mcn who
icel secure OF their position III society--so ut
least says an authority Oh American man
ncrs. Among these the French custom ob-
lains which ordains the bow to be given at
the instant Of recognition, without hesita-
ton. There is also, between these several
sections OF American sOciety,a yet unsettled
controversy us TO which is The proper arm
to give IL lady. New York stands alone in
dccrccing the right rs the most respectful.
The lett arm, she says, lis too tender l." but
New York Is not regarded us The ultimate
authority OH matters Of etiquette.
Another knotty point among the rival
communities is the order 10 be observed in
escorting Il lady down stairs, suppusing the
stairs 10 be too narrow for two to 90 abreast.
New York says it is II matter of etiuuel1e
that every one descenGs Il mall-ut war be-
fore the commander but il 4 gentleman
goes first ii may be better. is the consdcratc
provision, rs the lady may have large feet,
or thick ankles, or some other reason for
wishing to protect her lower cXtreInities.
Washington decrccs that the lady takes
precedence, The gentleman following close
behind 10 guard her from misadvcnture.
In New York Ii IS not the thing for Il
lady 10 say thank you for small cuurtesics
Sucn rs passing change in IN omnibus re-
storing fallen umbrellas, etc, only smile is
allowable. There has been II difference of
opinion too, on the use of capital letters
for L. l.. t.. on visiting cards and Il. :. V.
i. Oh cards oi invitation. Since the time o!
the Romans large letters have been used for
authorizations, but America now uses small
letters. an innovation dstastcful to Europc-
az eyes. There. too, it was rigid etiquette
--as, indeed, it was until quite late wears in
this country also-to send invitations and
answers by hand now, if ut any distance,
the medium OF the post is permissible. In
England the formula Of inlrOduclions is Sc
verely simple "Mr. Brown-Mrs. Smith, -
that is all. Mr.. Brown may be chancellor
OF the eXchcquer, and Mrs. Smith the wife
OF the archbishop Of York, but these facts
are not named. In America, etiquette re-
qulres diSallles and official status TO be par
ticulaiized, as the Rev Mr.. or Mrs. DR..
nn i, L.
name Of tho State he governs. fla member
oi Congress, the fact must be added. if an
author OF reputc, the names of his principle
works must be slated.
1t is customary in America for Il lady To
be accompanied TO ball by Il gentleman as
an escort. His duty is to see that she is
provided with partners and refreshments
and 10 look after her generally. He carries
indeed supplies, her bouquet, and attends
her Oh her return home. 4 young English
nohleman OH his first visit TO Washington
called OH prominent member OF society
aud rendered letters of introduction. Tho
lady received him frankly, and introduced
to him her three daughters. \ ball comm.
oil the same evening, she offered to procure
him an invitation. On his accepting, she
desired him to choose one of her daughter:
as companion for the entertainment. Hc
did so. 1t was then arranged that he shouC
| call for the young lady in IL carriage of hi.
own providing, and bring the usual bouquet
which he did. AT the conclusion Of the bal
he accompanied his charge home. The res
OF the family had retired for the night, bu
the servants were in waiting, and his E,i
| companion pressed him to enter and ioin he
In a cup OF coffee. Not Il little surprised
the gentleman asscntea, and spent Il plea
SAINT hall hour III the drawing-room alone
with his entertainer, discussing the dance
he had enjoyed i'll her society. Republican
Independence of manners, perhaps, but in
nocent withai. He was IL gentlemau,n sale
the mother atterWard, accredited 10 me by
mutual friends, and | knew that my daugh
| ter could take care of herself" This Incl
dent was no outrage OH American etiquette
in America; it is the custom for the youns
ladies OF the iamilyto give the balls, and i
Is not NJ allneccssury that YOU should be in
troduced to their parents.
| Courtesy to women is a notable feature O
American society. yet writer in the Phia
delphiy Ereaing Bulletin has uttered tn
hcrcsy that no man who has not Travelled
! has seen Il woman.
What may be termed knife and fork
etiquette in refined circles of American so
ciety differs little from our own at the pre-
sent time; but not SO very long ago. insteat
of the finger glasses now in general use,
large silver bowl used to he handed roun,
for general ablution. AT the time Thackera,
visited America things were degre
rougher. Il saw" said the satirist, 'liv
Americans at time with their knives dow
their throats. said to my daughter: M
dear. your reat-great-grandmothe th