The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-03-09
WITTICISMS.

CEaNIh 1AHItFN0 80 ~ NNNA AANls
but it made everybody else scratch.
Presents of mind-having a mind to
give something, but never giving It,
Boston Post.
Father" SAID johnny Fizzletop,
"can't you spare money enough to get
me a gum" my son, when lean spare
my boy l will get you a gun"
1t was a suburban boy who ran to
his mother with the joyful Information,
1--WE will 500 have skating. The pond
has got a scab Oh 1t already"
Six hundred criminals were pardoned
from the Chicago Bridewell last year.
1t means something when a Chicago
man says, "beg pardon."-BostOn Tran
script.
Harry, W. he looking on when his
new little sister was being wash ed,
turned away, saying, "If she screamed
like that in heaven, Idon't wonder they
sent her off down here"
Alabama is an Indian word signify
ing "here we rest" State treasurer Vim
cent looked into the cash-bOx and said:
I'll take what's here, and leave the
rest to the wicked.-Chicago Inter
Ocean,
Baby has just told a flo. "Oh, how
naughty it Is to tell a liel" said the
mother, God will be much troubled"
The child, after some reflection: | won't
tell him, mamma; | won't say my pray
er tO-nightl'
Prof. Brewer says: THE trotting
horse is a modern and American inven-
ton" Thank heaven, there is one thing
that wasn't invented by Chinese 10000
years agol Later returns, NAV rob US
Of this honor New York Herald.
Good mornin', Misther Muldoon, an
how are ye tins mJruiug - DIN mighty
well, | thank sc, Misther 0'Oowd, bar
rim the nooralegy that's nigh dislocatin'
my wife's jaw, and the hoives that's
worryin' the pigs sure."-Yonkers Gaz-
cite.
a minister made an interminable call
upon a lady of his acquaintance. Her
daughter, who was present, grew weary
of his conversation, and at last wills
pered in an audible key: Didn't he
bring his Amen, with him."-Detroit
Post.
A young lady made a narrow escape
at a fire in New York a few nights
since. About half Of her hair was
burned. Fortunately she was not In
the building at the time, having put on
her other hair and left the house only
half an hour before the fire broke out.
They are now telling a story about a
Chicago girl who insisted on throwing
her shoe after a newly married couple.
The carriage is a total wreck, "A doctor
has the bride, and the horses are under
treatment, and a large number of men
are searching the ruins for the groom,
Antcdote from the quarters" AT
the marriage of an Alabama widOwer
one of the servants was asked if his
master would take a bridal tour. dun.
no, sab; when ole missis' was alive he
took a paddle to her; dunno if he take
a bride to the new one or not-Arkan-
saw Traveller.
The cable brings the gratifying in.
telligence that the ."Boers have been
repuised by Mapoch." Mapoch, we
presume, is an editor, but the mar at
the other end of the cable doesn't
seem to know how to sp6ll bores-
though the words may have slipped
cog in coming over.
An excellent linament for neuraliga
is made of sassafras, oil of origanum
and a haif-ounce Of tincture of capSi.
cum, with half a pint of alcohol. Soak
nine yards of flannel in this mixture.
wrap it around the head and then in.
sert the head in a haystack till death
mes to your relief.-Laramle Boom.
ing.
ne genius has invented a machine
vpianOs. There will be a large
Il for it. In the morning the ma
be set to playing the piano in
# the daughter, and the lat
the mother get breakfast
g wner can start the au-
he evening and then &C
llet the next door neigh
wearing. 1t no doubt
Y other advantages
uerald.
ably attired young man in
Ork street car saw a stray
ua The inStep of b.. tOO'hpick
shoes and immediately proceeded to re-
moveit. He KEEP on putting until Oneleg
OF his pa0taloons was uuslitched from
the ankle to The waist. Assuming his
best aguostic expression, he buttoned
his overcoat tightly around him, Dor
rowed two hair-pins from the conduc-
tor and struck out for the nearest sc.