Connecticut western news., 1883-07-18
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS.
WHAT WE FIND IN THEM TO SMILE
 OVER THIS WEEK.
No Place for JOe-NOt in the Directory An EditOr's TriaIs-A Story of General Cass-NaminR a Town. Etc., Etc.
THEY DON'T SPEAK NOW.

~~~'T A~SS" THEY DON'T SPEAK NOW. About two weeks ago two women met 1 in Woodward avenue street car, and when one complained that she was again without. 8. cook the other replied:
 "Ah I have jewel of 8 girl She's neat, prompt, respectful, and only pay her twelve shillings week." .~ i
 "[s it possible p .
 s'Yes; she's from the country and doesn't know that she can get more The same two women met in the same car again yesterday, but alas how changed the situation! They stared frigidly at each other without even a nod, and they would not sit on the same side of the car. The twelve-shilling jewel of girl is now receiving $2 week in the kitchen of the woman who was without cook. Hence the ruction, which will descend to the third genera tion.-Detro5t Free Press. [< JOURNALISTIC ENTERPRISE. \ One day, a year or two ago, afGreen- vile, s. C,, editor heard that g 1nan was to be lyncked in locality about fifteen miles away, and he put 9 new psncil into his pocket, hired the fastest Horse in town, and started for the scene. When he arrived he found a crowd under 8 tree, and ip the circle was the prisoner "a villainous chap, who had committed heinous offence.
 The crowd had started to hang him, but several citizens had advanced such arguments in favor of permitting the law to take it's course that it had about been decided to take the rascal back to jail. " {
 Williams drove up, jumped down, and in aaminute or two learned that the affair was off. He had driven fifteen miles to report g case of lynching, and his dis gust was profound. Mounting stump he began: ]
 "Gentlemeh, look at that thar hoss. I've foundeted him to get here and see this hanging. It will be $2O0 out of my pocket, and the only return will be a three-liher in the NeaOs, saying that you concldded not to {hang !him. Gentle meny has patriotism died out of this connty?" E$
 "No! no no!'' yelled the crowd.
 'sDoes it make any particular differ AaAA-tathis man whether he is hung nov or three months laters
 "No! no!' VI
 "Gentlemen, I believe in law and or der, but I've driven fifteen miles, foun dered hoss, and feel bit broke up. don't say that lynching is the best plan but if he should be swung up and should be asked to sit on{ the Coroner
 jury and bring in verdict of suicide,
 don't see howl could refuse. Gentlemen
 look at that'aS' hoss P
 "swing him Hnl,' yelled out twent!
 men. F$
 "Look at that wreck ofEa5 once nobl hoss and tell--"
 T ''Hooray l" shouted the >efowd, and ul
 went the man to be left6uspended unti 'I dead EM. QUAD. j IN CREATURE OF HABIT. A guest in down. town restaurant las night, after he had finished his meal an wiped his lips, stood up and turned O the gas. stWhat did you do that for?" asked
 waiter. sN The guest for moment stood aghas "Well, you see" he said, finally, " generally get home late at night, an my wife always leaves some meat an bread on the parlor table for me. Whe I have eaten my supper I put the bgf out and go to bed. I forgot where
 was just now. After all, what am I bl & mere creature of habit ?"
 GENERAL oAss AS BOY.
 In recently published memorial
 the Phillips Exeter Academy an CT
 tended reference is made to Daniel Wel ster's student life, and flie familiar inc I'' dent of his risingsso sHe head of his ola n and leaving it for 8 higher, is told in e n tenso. It is much to be regretted tn
 little eau be found relating to the co a nection of General Cass with the Philli n Exeter Academy; for, without dout V there have been few of it's alum :, who have risen as high among his f. O low-men, and have acquired as gre # fame with either sword or pen. Lev ,e entered the academy in 1792, at t ,e age of 10 years. Here he pursued 10 studies with great diligence and consi h erable success, standing well in his els ,g and applying himself diligently to t it acouirement of knowledge througho ut his course. In regard to this period to the life of Lewis Cass, an alumni wrl t. the following:
 or The incidents which Dr. Abbott.:relat os about the school boys who have becol F illustrious were extremely interesting d "I.ewis Cass," he said, twas Vt Q wild boy. One day his father, Ma i'll Cass. came to me and asked me ii be could take his son. ,r- Certainly; but why do you ask i? "'Oh. the youngster is headstre an and hard to manage.
 of "sWhat does he do?'
 "'Plays truant. runs away from
 work, steals off without my permiss ed, to go a-gunning, fishing or swimmi les and is full of all kind of pranks.' on "'Wel, send him to me and I'll ds; what I can do with him..
 nd "The boy was placed under my chal ,ls, Several months later I met his fat hat and asked him how hlS son was gett