The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-02-11

bTOLIsN SMILES.

A Washington girl can blush till hernose
bl, eds.
1t doesn't take much provocation for n
man to get down on a soft bed.
Benjamin Franklin said: He that takes
u wife takes care" Not if he takes care
when he takes her.
The air Is so clear at Montclair, Now Jer-
l'sey, that you can stand on Eagle Rock and
detect the calm in a caudron of chowder at
Coney Island.
A Chicago man has just received one cent
damages from man who ran away with
his wife. lie feels satisfied now that justice
has been done him.
An exchange discusses "The penalty we
pay for having wealth." 1t is very discour-
aging, no doubt; but give us the wealth,
aud we'll willingly pay the penalty.
Tbs Chicago critics who praised the
astounding agility displayed by ballet
dancer didn't know that she had accident.
ally dressed IA hornet into her clothes.
First small girl--"l know what | am go.
ing To be when grow up'" Second ditto
What are you going to be when you grow
upP' First small giri-'"A widder."
A boys tool chest only costs So, and II
the lad IL anyways bright, he Can raw the
legs OIL OF every chair in the house and
bore holes through every door in weeks
time.
A Pittsburg firm have brought out new
masculine hat which they have christened
the Jersey Lily" IL wouldn't be econ.
omy to invest in such hat. 1t is too cas-
| lily mashed"
| II may not be exactly civil to assume be-
cause man has dress suit on at the thea
TIRE that he is an usher and demand that
he shall show you TO your seat, but 1t ia
mighty amusing. He gets SO mad.
The Chinese have no word to signify ego.
tism. When q Chinsman remarks that he
Is greater than the sun and ten times rs
large as the moon, oil any one says in reply
is, We'll, now, who'd thought IL"
A man IN Spring tield, Missouri, being in
yl'ed to drink, poured out glass Of wbis
Ky, looked at IL q moment aud then drop.
peu dead. The ooronor's jury brought In =
verdict Of Suicide by prOCra.tlnstiOn."
Colonel" said man who wanted to
MAKE out u genealogical tree--"Colonsl,
how can become thoroughly acquainted
With my family history simply By
running Tor office" answered the colonel.
You can buy grapes and pears in winter,
| but the SIN Il-boy will hot feel happy until
he can go out with his skates on and buy
green apples on the street that will BENT
HIM like an alligator inside of half an hour.
The reason that almanac makers publish
nothing but the s,alest Jokes 1, explained.
Peopl- get Gisgusted after reaiins one or
TWO of them, and turn ~ the patent medi'
cine advertisements tor relief.
A Lewiston young lady who went into a
store To buy pair of gloves for her young
man, couldn't remember what the SIZE o
his hand was She knew, however, that he
wore lii collar, II the clerk could tell any
tliug ny that.
A Michigan girl recently died Of hear,
d. case, broughs on by au unexpected OF,
OF marriage. Moral fnr young men: DO
not propose too suddenly. There a. N
knoNnlg what may happen. She may ever
accept.
Some heartleSs wretch caught tive oals
tied them by the tails aud flung then intc
the cellar OF a church. The residents Of
the vicinity heard tho noise the animal,
made, but thought II was the choir 70
hearsing.
A news item states that "tho Boston
young man IL beginning to wear kse,
brcecnes and Eyeglasses and cultivate the
cockney dialect Next thing we know M
will drop ono degree lower In the scalo
idiocy aud begin ,o eat sixty quail IN thirty
days on wager.
Happy thought Black coffee should be
served by 90 ored waters. Adam wns The
frat chap that got a dig In the ribs. VI
name or-No, % ohcck.raiecr 10 not used v
shave notes. Crushed. straw berry" 10 q
new color, which will probably be worn b,
tho creme dc Ia creme.
Table uppiny--iecing the restaurant
waiter. The hest chest protector--a dolls,