The Osceola times., 1883-08-11

only lust passed 1ouhg iauy Ch,
am so glad" Professor, surprised;
"Why?" Young lady: 81 do so loyea
tight squeeze"
The Dutchman who took his pun by
the tail and laying it across a log fo- the
purpose of cutting the tail off with an ak
and cutting off about an inch more than
the tail held il up and said: l pellet me
| got him doc shord."
A fashion paper says: Nothing but
coral necklaces can be seen upon society
bellies this season." Is there not some
mistake about this? Why, such scanty
costume--oh, heavens! There must be
an error in the report.
Ifa burglar should enter your house,
throw toy pistol at him. In his rage he
will pick it up and attempt to discharge
its contents into your head. Then all you
have to do is to call the police and have
the fellows body removed.
As little Johnny was coming into the
rear side door of his house, it being mud
DIV outside, his mother asked; did you
wipe off your feet ?" mo, ma'am," re-
sponded Johnny. "Why not?" asked
the mother. "Cause if did, | wouldn't
have any feet, that's the reason"
Don't YOU think Parson Brown is a
man of considerable ardor? inquired a
friend of Mr.. Jollie "No," was the re-
ply, "on the contrary, I inferred, from
the exhibit made at dinner the last time
he invited me TO dine with him. that
he was a man of very little larder"
A lady poet asks: 'GHow can l tell
him love him no more?" Probably the
best way is to get him into an ice-cream
saloon, eat five dishes, and then break
the news gently. If he doesn't accept
the situation YOU had better try and love
him again. You could never do better.
A boy was making a great racket on his
drum in front of a house in Somerville.
Little boy" said lady, "you must not
drum here there's Il lady sick i'll this
house." "Well don't know where | am
going to drum, then: there's one dead
in our house was the mournful'reply.
School committeeman examining a
scholar: where's the North Pole ?''
II don't know, sir" "Don't know? Are
You not ashamed that you don't know
where the North Pole is?" "Why, sir, il
Sir John Franklin, and DIR. Kane and
Captain De Long couldn't find it, how
should | know where it isY
The next cyclone that passes over the
country will be the sweet girl graduate" !"
Its path will be as wide as the continent,
and its force will be such that youthful
hearts now whole will be pulverized.
The affair will appear as funnel shaped
cloud of white muslin, large end down
and upper portion banged.
Professor Hill in paper on the
physical History 0f- the Dead Sea, "
brought before the Royal Dublin Society,
says that during the pluvial period,
which succeeded the glacial period, the
sea reached its maximum elevation.
With increasing Iryness of the climate,
the water gradually decreased, becoming
first brackish and then salt. AT great
depth the salinity amounts to saturation.
Samuel Howard of Mount Sterling,
Ky, recently chopped down a big black
locust tree, in the hollow of which grew
another tree of different kind which
was ten inches in diameter and twenty
feet in height. 1t has grown in perfect
darkness, as there was no opening in the
locust.
There are 1884 manufactures in the
United States, the average number of
hands employed being l,75s, $50, and the
money paid per annum in wages about
one hundred and eighty millions sterl-
ing. The number of manufactures has
doubled during the last ten years.
In the Northern Pacific swims a fish
which explorers of the northwest coast
call the ortolan of the sea. II is the fat
test of all fish, and if dried specimen is
taken, all that has to be done is to light
the head of the fish, holding 1t upright,
and it blazes away like sperm candle,
giving light without smoke or smell.
The Indians call it the oolachan.
In the peninsular of Abeheron, in the
province of Shirway, there is found a
Il perpetual, or, as it is there called, an
eternal fire. II has risen from time i'm
memorial, from an irregular orifce of
about twelve feet in depth, and one hun
dred and twenty feet in width, with a
constant flame. The flame rises to a
height of from six to eight feet, is unat-
tended with smoke and Yields no smell.
The inhabitants have q veneration Tor
this fire, and celebrate it with religious
ceremonies.
According to a report that comes from
Morehead City, n. C., toy balloons are
about as dangerous as some other play
things made to amuse the children of
these days which often make little angels
of them. A three year old girl of More
head had been sick of a fever and there
was little left of her except fragile
frame. Walking out to take the air, her
carctaker got toy balloon vender to tie
his cluster of balloons TO the child TO
amuse her. The wind was high, blow
ing toward the ocean, and a sudden gust
carried the balloons with the child at-
tached high in the air seaward. Some
boatnen on the beach saw the situation,
and one of them who had rifle fired
several shots to burst the balloons or cut
the strings. At length the descent was
made on a sand-bar, and the boats that
were prepared to follow were not need
ed. There was. of course. some doubt as
to whether the child had been hit or not,
but she was picked up out of the sand
unhurt and brought away handful of
shells for her mamma, who was lying in
a dead faint. Her name was Birdie and
she came near flying off to ne an angel,
but all Morehead seems glad she didn't
succeed.
Distasteful to Snakes.
Saturday Review.
1t would BE an interesting and a use