davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

A GIRL, PoET AND A GROCERY
CLERK.-"A very wealthy and beau
tiful girl fell in love with young
man." said lady, "who passed her
window every morning. He had
beautiful, big, sad black eyes and fair
hair brushed from n noble brow and
under his arm he always carried a
brown book. She used to sit by the
window every morning and watch for
his coming, and presently he began to
notice her, and one day be brought a
bunch of violets and placed them on
the sill Of the broad barred window,
and then she was sure he was poet,
and every morning he did the same
thing, until she fairly grew to worship
him. But one day, near the end of
the month, he came and rang the
front door bell and presented bill for
$1,000 for violets delivered at the
house every morning and then the
love-sick maiden discovered be was a
grocery clerk and the brown book was
his luncheon box New York
journal.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04
PILES! PnEsi PnEsi

Dr Dessfng's Aesg. Discovery for
Piles Is radical change from the old remedies
heretofore In use. The Discovery is the result Of
years Of pa tient scientific study and Investigation
into tine character Of this panfnl disease To con-
vince you Of itn great merit. call on Penny A Me-
Alis1er, stanford, or W. NJ Weber. Nj. Vernon,
OF charge.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

Song of the tramp; "Barns and
box-cars- are my bedroom, rob a hen
roost when l can; take a shirt of a
clothes line. | am the kind they
spread on land. Counting ties is my
occupation. hunger gives me many a
cramp; work aud | am no relation, !
am Pennsylvania tramp Read
ing Times.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

When one of Mother Careys chick
ems, or stormy petrels, is seen near the
ship, a storm is approaching, for these
birds are rarely seen in fair weather.
II is forecastle notion that the petrol
is so named from St. Peter, on ac.
count OF its running with close wings
over the surface of the waves. This
brought to mind the walking of st.
Peter upon the water and the sailors
think the bird was therefore called
"petrel" as a sort of a diminutive of
the apostles name. These birds have
been known to follow vessel during
a storm for many days. apparently
with neither food or rest. and with
out tapping their wings. If one Of
these birds should be swept aboard ia
great storm, as is frequently the
case, no sailor will touch it, Cicago
Inter Ocean.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

No matter how faded the constitution
may be from disease or excess, the Great
German Invigorator restores il permanent
ly. See advertisement. For sale by Pen.
ny a McAlisler.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04


HIS FIRST CTGAR.-The road agents
who robbed the coach last Sunday, as
is the custom, ranged the men in line
with hands up, and relieved them OF
all their valuables. They then passed
a bottle of whisky and box of cigars,
compelling each one to take a drink
and smoke. One of the unfortunates
had never smoked a cigar in his life,
but under the persuasive and urgent
invitation of the gentlemanly robbers
he lit his first cigar, and possibly the
pleasure he will derive in the future
from smoking will compensate for this
loss he sustained. Il Helena Era.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

Not long since the Queen of Italy,
who is very fond of children and sell.
dom takes walk without stopping to
chat with one or two of her youthful
subjects, asked little girl to knit her
a pair of silk stockings as birthday
gift, and gave her twenty lire to buy
the material The Queen forgot the
circumstance till her birthday came,
when she was reminded of it by the
arrival of pair of well-knit stock
ings and the makers best wishes. Not
to be outdone, Queen Margherita sent
a pair to her young friend as return
gift, one stocking being full of lire
pieces and the other of bon-bons.
They we're accompanied by little
note: "Tell me, my dear, which you
liked bests" A reply reached the pal
ace next day: dearest Queen, both
the stockings have made me shed
many bitter tears. Papa took the one
with the money aud my brother the
other.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

The Rev. Samuel r. Appleton, ID.
d., of1SO4 De Lincy Place, tells a
good story about parrot; A young
couple called on him one day aud ask.
ed him 10 marry them. He saw no
objections and in few minutes they
we're man and wife. The delighted
and happy groom then walked reluct-
antly toward the minister and asked:
doctor, how much is your fee3"
81 have no fixed price, but genearl =
ly receive So" was the answer.
The bright smile of the Jersey
groom seemed TO leave him then; but
bracing himself he said;
"You see, doctor, am little short
at present, but would like very much
to pay you. | am a bird fancier and
am importing lot Of of educated par
rots from London. Now, instead Of
paying you in cash, suppose present
you with one Of these birds on their
ARRIVAL"
II should be glad to have a par
rot, admitted the doctor.
"Well, its agreed to then. I'll
send you one in few days; but have
you cage to put the bird inf"
"No, HAYS not; how much does a
cage COST"
"Oh, you can get a good one for
$3.50" was the reply.
Without any further remarks DIR.
Appleton handed the Benedict" the
required amount and he departed.
The doctor has never since heard or
seen anything of the groom, bride,
parrot, cage or the $3.50 Philadel.
phia Times.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

T.w. Esgle, Of Miamisburg, O., Informs US that
BrewI's EEpeclorant cured him Of very bad
oaugh AFTER every other medicine had failed. To
he had Of Penny A MeAlister stanford, and W.
NJ Weber, Nj. Vernon.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04
Hhere IqnOnanes was nod BIss.

One Of the preachers Of the quiet
little town OF Midway invited one Of
his brethren of the cloth to join him
in some feats OF craftsmanship a few
days ago. Having large back yard
the eminent gentleman aud his friend
retired there, where they plugged the
"bull's eye" to their hearts content.
Imagine their surprise and chagrin
when each was served the next morn.
ing with a document from the Police
Judge charging them with shooting
within the corporate limits OF the
town. against the peace aud dignity Of
the Commonwealth" aud fne Of So
was expected for each shot. They
pleaded ignorance and declared they
would never do so any more. but the
Judge was memorable and said that ig-
norance OF the law was no Justification
for crime. As the fines will amount
to something like $3.50 each We move
that their respective congregations be
requested to liquidate the amounts
I Richmond Herald.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

A railroad conductor bet German,
of Quincy, ILL.,, that he could not
pick up 100 eggs laid on the ground a
yard apart inside of 80 minutes. The
eggs were to be picked up and depos.
tied in basket, one at a time, and
the basket was to remain stationary
at the spot where the first egg was
placed. German thought he had an
easy walk over, but the railroad man
placed the eggs in a straight line along
the side of the depot and the basket at
one end, so that German had to run
up and down the line with each egg
separately. At the end Of 20 minutes
he had picked up only 20 of the eggs,
and had to give up the contest. A
local mathematician figured up that it
would take about six miles of travel
to pick up the 100 eggs.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

Nature always figures her work up
10 the right notch. II gave no beard
TO woman because ii knew she could
not keep her tongue still long enough
to got shaved. Breckenridge News.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

Mas kisn Mace, Of RTocion, nm, says her physi-
Clans gave ,her'up asa hopeless eonsnmptive, bat
four bottles Of Brown's Expeciorant cured her. For
sale BY Penny MeAlisier, stanford, aud W. A.
Weber, Ma. Vernon.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

During the past four months Mr..
Ambrose Clayton has caught twenty
three ground hogs, eighty.three coons.
thirty skunks. Elk musk-rais. one
mink aud 100 opossums. -[Glasgow
Times.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04
Sweet Little Love Sfou.

DIR. Wellman reports the cutest and
sweetest little love story we have had
from real life. Yesterday, as he was
waiting at Parker, OAK, for the train
a country lass came in with her fell
low in the farm wagon locked in each
others arms. The young man lived
in Iowa and was on the eve of starting
home. The train was ready and onto
the platform, went his carpet-bag.
Another embrace and the train pulled
out. The lover swung on and the las.
sic waved him kisses. The train, GO
ing down grade, gained rapid speed,
the boy waved his handkerchief, but
his heart was ia his mouth. OF went
the old satchel; of followed the lover,
with heels in the air. Over and over
went he and at last lit in a mud-hole.
rolled like ball against the soft clay
bank and finally got on his feet and
started back to see his Dulciana. She
at the same time was making for him.
They met and embraced, regardless Of
clay or bruises. The Iowa lover was
heard to remark; "Ducky, will
never leave till you are my wife.
The justice of the peace was sent for
and the twain returned to the farm as
one. Il Mitchell Mimi Republican.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

An absent-minded woman put corn-
plaster on letter and stuck postage
stamp on her corn. Neither the let
ter nor the corn went away; she hav-
ing neglected TO write Gin haste" on
the left hand corner Of her stamped
corn,
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

MfssAoKs OF twenty words, exclusive
a. address, can bo sent irom any ON,
part I England 10 aDoihcr for - c.nts.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

have i'm stock over 800 Finished Monuments In
Scotch and American Granite and Italian and Native
Marble which am selling at reduced prices in order
to make room for new stock. Designs are new and
prices from S. to $4,000.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

A young miss of sixteen writes to
know what is the proper thing for
her to do when she is serenaded by a
party of gentlemen at a late hourf"
We are glad to be able to answer this
question: Steal softly down stairs
and unite the dog.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

A peddler tried TO coax a Michigan
farmers wife into buying some Of his
wares by patting her under the chin
and saying that she was nice little
woman. Her husband soon returned.
and she told him. With friend he
overlook the peddler, whipped him,
threw his pack over the fence, took
him back to the house, whipped him
again. then tried him before a mock
court and fined him 80. which hepaid.
His retaliation is a suit for damages.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

Hades is paved with good intentions,
buta stretch Of turnpike seven miles
from Erie, Pa, is paved with skulls
and bones Of select few of the cold
inhabitants. IL came about in this
way: A largo excavation was made
for some purpose on an old burial
ground and the bones that were
thrown up from the ancient sepul-
chers-and they ranged from a knee
cap 10 a "cocOanut'-were carted of
with the dirt and spread over the pub.
lie road. Perhaps old Macadam, who
invented macamized roads, now finds
himself scattered in a somewhat pro-
miscuous fashion along the Erie high
way; and, il so, it only shows that
retribution never sleeps, and that a
man may be hoist by his own petard
when he least expects it. What a
pleasant drive this road will make for
the people of Erie A young blood
bowls along behind fast stopper and
the wheels of his Brewster strike fire
from the "konk" Of his grandfather.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

The wslI.known Strengthening proper
ties Of Iron, combined with other tonics
and most perfect nervine, Me found in
CATERS Iron Pills. which strengthen the
nerves and body, and improve the blood
and complexion.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

The joys and sorrows of this world
are so strikingly mingled Our mirth
and grief are brought so mournfully
in contact We laugh while others
weep. and others rejoice. when We are
sadl The light heart and the heavy
walk side by side and go about togeth-
erl Beneath the same roof are spread
the wedding feast and the funeral palll
The bridal song mingles with the fu-
neral hymnl One goes to the mar
risge-bed, another to the grave; and all
is mutable, uncertain and transitory.
-[Longfellow.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

A renowned clergyman preached
rather long sermon from the text
"Thou art weighed in the balance and
found wanting" After the congrega'
ton had listened about and hour,
some began to get weary and went
out; others soon followed greatly tC
the annoyance of the minister. An
other person started, whereupOn the
parson stopped in his sermon. and
said: That's right, gentlemen; q;
fast as you are weighed pass out" He
continued his sermon at some length
after that, but no one disturbed him
by leaving.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1883-09-04

"conle, ye Sim ers, poor and needy,
Weak and wounded, sick aud So"
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1883-09-29

Devout Moslems confidently predict
the end Of the world Oh November Sth,
the close Of tine Mohammedan Thir-
teenth century. Tradition declares
that in the present month, during the
Ramaelan fast, the sun shall rise in the
west, the day of mercy and forgiveness
shall cease, and that of Judgment and
retribution begin. Thus, procIama
tion has been issued from Mecca, warn
ing all true believers to prepare for the
coming day. which has been widely cir.
culated. and has created great i'm
preston.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1883-09-29
EDITED POETRY.
A LATHE Discussion Between An Editor
and u Poet.

n
and u Poet.
Probably no class of men is thrown
into more intimate relations with poets
than editors of newspapers A hand
made, patent poet came into this office
recently, and he had his manuscript
with him He cleared his bronchial
tubes, threw on few tremolo, flute,
yox harmonica and other stops. and
commenced:
"Under the willow maiden fair.
Was braiding her wreath OF yellow hair
"That won't jibe with the tone of
this paper" we said sharply.
1T won't?" inquired the poet, in
tone OF surprised suddenness.
"wby. no. Don't you realize that
this journal isn't q secondhand music
box! The rhyme is well enough, but
you don't seem to catch on to the right
ring. Don't you think this would be
better
"Down in the kitchen a maiden fair
Out Of the hash was pulling hair
"Well, possibly the way you put it, :"
said the poet, shifting uneasily in his
chair.
"Why, Of course it would Give us
the next stauz1.
"she thought Of the flowers, the tters above,
And she thought o. the power O. .ose."
"Oh, she did. Ell We shall have to
get you to tix that up this way;
"whie thinking Of Nike, who was often beside
her,
She turned around and stepped in the spider. ="
The poor poet wiped away tear.
He saw at once that, with our strong,
practical common-sense views of life,
We had him on the hip, and he could
not help himself either. Breathing
hard, like pauting horse just in from
mile heat. the poor, wretched poet
proceeded:
"The wind came up from the sunpy South.
And kissed the maiden on check and mouth :"
"That verse will do we'll enough, il
you'll only make one change in it, :"
"What is it," inquired the perspir.
ing poet. Frightening up a trihe and
exhibiting little more animation.
"Say you make it read this way:
"She grappled it up with surly grow-el.
And wiped l. out With a Turkish towel"
That is quite little change" said
the depressed poet. DO you think it
would improve it:"
"Certainly; l really think it would,
sir" The poet then proceeded with:
''The maiden rose from her rustic seat,
And silently passed through the lonely
street
"That's the close" he said timidly,
with long sigh Of relief.
"Oh, that's the close. is it," All
right. Well, you'll iud we are right
along with you; just after this way:
s'nown on the girl the housewife bore
And fired her tn ough the kitchen door"
Now, you see, with the aid of a few
minor suggestions which we have made,
you can trim that thing Of yours into
some respectable kind of shape. Be.
sides that, you have got poem you
can split kind of double-barreled
poem and can sll one-half to one
paper and half to another" The poet
exhibited no little alac,ity in taking
his departure. Teras SVtiags.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1883-09-29

BCALL ON-Ea
THE BUSY B'Si"
And try our celebrated J. r. Cutters Old
Bourbon, Old Viyyinia, White Rye, Golden
Thistle, Old Bourbon, Old Pioneer.
Our Fauorise, Rock a~d Rye,
and Orange WHISTLES,
Imported sazrrac Csgnac.
imported Green Seal, Imperial, zinfaodel ciaret.
and all other kinds OF choicest
-E-w-l-N-E-s-
spoiItnaris. Mineral. and sparkling
soda waters:
MILWAUKEE BEER.
C-O-N-G-R-E-s-s-C-O-C-k-T-A-I-L-s-:
Made in the latest style known to the art, and
concocted of the choicest materials by the
most celebrated Archeronian Mixologiss of an
cient or modern age.
The highly celebrated
MoUSTAIN
-PRETxSTIIdO-
-O3ozzIMERoP-
CocKTAILS
Served at all times during the day and night.
DOMESTIC AND IMPORTED CIGARS!
n. P. and s. II. P. players can be accommo-
dated at any time.
MONEY LOANED WITHOUT INTEREST
There's millions in it.
s1yA luxuriantly furnished private CLCP
ROOM, Cor the use of the winnemuccs Cincf
Club, with private entrance.
BELL L BURNS.
winnemucca, April IA.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1883-09-29

syA luxuriantly furnished private CLIP
ROOM COR the use OF the winnemucca Cincf
Club, with private entrance.
BELL 4 BURNS.
winnemucca, April IA.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1883-09-29

MONEY LOANED WITHOUT INTEREST
There's millions in it.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1883-09-29
FASHION SAMPLE ROOMS.

BELL & SURNS....p ..proprietors.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-12-20
FOREIGN GOSSIP.

In Africa they cure malaria by
drinking strong coffee.
Emperor William has $4,000 COW
which supplies him with milk, and
royal milk it is said to be.
Over 100000 people are employed
IN lace making in France, and about
$4,000, 600 worth Of goods is produced
annually.
The Sultan of Turkey has made a
present to the Emperor of Austria of a
palace valued at $500,0OO.
The Berlin University has student
slxty-nine years old, who, on receiving
his diploma, intends to 90 to the Trans
Vaal country to live.
The last census of japan gives a
total population of 36, 700.00 Toxic,
the largest city, contains somewhat
over million, and Kioto, the imperia,
city, 1000
"A few days ago London clerk
slipped on piece of orange peel, broke
his leg, was taken to hospital, became
delirious, and died within twenty-four
hours, presumably from shock to the
system.
"A female miser, eighty three wears
of age, was found dead in London a
few days ago. She owned several
houses, 100 acres of land, and $4,000 in
cash. She had written the Lords
Prayer on both posts of the garden gate
as charm against thieves.
The remains of DIR. William Har-
yey, who is credited with having dis
covered the circulation of the blood,
have been removed from the vault in
which they have reposed for two hun
bred years, in the church of Hampstead,
Essex. They have been placed in q
marble sarcophagus in an adjoining
chapel built by the Harvey family.
For n stylish dinner party in Japan
it is a part Of the etiquette that the
guest may carry off with him such as
has been served, but what he has not
eaten. The host will furnish box for
each guest for the purpose. Thus the
guest in a delicate way praises the
quality of the food provided. 1t is po-
lite to 'clear the table, in Japan.
For the first time since the inven-
ton of printing, a German book has
reached its 1,000th edition, each of them
numbering 5000 copies, thus making
in all 5000, 900 copies. 1t is a primer
| by Haester, published by G. ID. Baed-
ecker, OF Essen, which first appeared in
1858, and reached its Tooth edition in
1868.
The total of claims presented by the
persons injured by the earthquake at
CassamicOiola amounts to All, 774
francs, while the Committee of Relief
have received in charitable contribu-
tons 3,779,343 francs. Four hundred
and twenty wooden buildings have been
erected for the temporary shelter during
the winter OF homeless people.
| The Economists Francois estimates
the wealth of some of the leading mem
berS of the English aristocracy as fol
low ;: The Duke OF Norfolk, S45. O00,-
600; the Marquis of Butte, S39, 1000, 600;
the Duke Of Buccleugh, $4,000. 900;
the Duke of Northumberland, S30,000,-
600; the Duke of DevoDshire. S29, 000,-
600; the Earl OF Derby, S28, 900, 600; the
Duke of Bedford, $4,000, 600; the Duke
of Hamilton, $25, 0J0,0 00; the Duke OF
Portland, 1913, 900, 900; the Earl of Fitz-
William, S22, 900, coo; the Duke of Suth-
crland sd 900, 600
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-12-20
ADVICE TO MOTHERS.

Are you disturbed at night and broken
of your rest by sick child suffering and
crying with pain of cutting teeth? If SO,
send at once and get d bottle of Mrs.
Winslows Soothing Syrup for children
tecthing. Its value is incalculable.
1t will relieve the poor little sufferer i'm
mediately Depend upon it mothers
there is no mistake about it. 1t cures
dysentery, diarrhoea, regulates the stom-
ach and bowels, cures wind collie, soft
ems the gums, reduces inflammation. and
gives tone and energy to the whole sys-
TEN. Mrs Winslew's Soothing Syrup
for Children Teething is pleasant TO the
taste, and is the prescription OF one OF
the oldest and best female physicians and
nurses in the United States, and is fol
sale by all druggists throughout the
world. Price 95 cents per bottle.
feb-2S-m-w-s m 1-y