Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-01-14
WIT AND HUMoR.

A place where duty calls-The Gus
tom House.
About the most Troublesome faction
in any political party is dissatis fac
ton.
Men are geese, women are ducks,
and birds of feather flock together.
The most wonderful thing about
the serpent is that it's never actu-
ally o seen serpent.
By Brute: The man who never
smelt powder is the fellow who never
held his nose close to o woman's
cheek.
A man who said he spoke from ex-
perience lately declared that, in his
opinion, "the worst thing OUT is ole :
last match on dark night.
Atmospherical knowledge is moi
thoroughly distributed in our schools.
A boy being asked, "What is mist!'
vaguely replied, @An umbrella"
''Stars," said an Irishman, are much
more useful than the sun, for they
shine i'll the night, when it is dark
but the sun shines only in the day
time, when there is light enough
without it."
"Good morning, Patrick. You have
got new coat at last, but it seems to
fit you rather too much "Och,
there's nothing surprising in that !;
sure, / wasn't there when L was mea-
sured for it"
A gentleman having servant with
a very thick skull, used often to call
him the king of fools. 81 WISH" said
the fellow one day, "you could make
your words good, as l should then be
the monarch of the world"
Considerate Mother Ito governess) /:
"Miss Smith, don't let Alfred and
Jennie sit down ON the damp grass,
for fear they should catch cold. When
they are tired you can sit down and
take them on your lap"
A jealous man, testifying in law
suit that he had suspicion with re-
gard to certain matter, was asked
what suspicion is, to which he
replied, at is feeling that impels
one to find out something which he
doesn't wish to know"
There is nothing that so takes the
starch out of g young man who has
been welded about a year as to have
to go to shop where there is q girl
that he used to keep company with,
and inquire for those large-sizcd safe
ty pins.
Lawyer G.. (entering the office of
his friend, Dr. NJ, and speaking in a
hoarse whisper: Erred, Pyc got such
a cold this morning that [ cunt speak
the truth" DR.. NJ. "Well, Pm glad
that it's nothing that will Interfere
with your business"
Dumas ills is sometimes severe. The
conversation had turned upon Mime.
Y, who had been very beautiful.
'.She has something of a Coolies" ssio
8 faithful admirer. Eyes," said Dd-
mas, antiquity"
Child scarcely three years olD
looking wistfully at diminutivc
pie-Mother "Mcta, [ want You to
save your nice pic 50 your papt can
see it when lie comes home Child,
looking still more wistfuIly: Il sink
1 could tell papa exactly how it
looks"
Meeting a newsboy whose face was
Scared with scratches, reporter
asked him what the matter was.-
,.Feller spoke agin my sister. Said
he'd bet she was cross-eye,!, AMI l
sailed in" 'Is yoursister cross-eyed?"
asked the reporter. "Hain't got no
sister," was the reply "it was TIE
princerple of the thing that | got
licked Tor"
An Iowa schoolmaster knocked down
a hornets nest to use in illustrating a
Ice urc, but if the remarks lie male
immediately after while kiting across
the country were merely those he in
tended to use in the lecture, relative
to the hornets nest-and they certain
Is referred to the nest-the discourse
was one totally unit for children to
iipar