Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1883-03-26
PITH AND POINT.


always willing to let you in; but there
is quite difference between letting you
in and letting you win.
THE paragrapher of the Norristown
Herald was offered $50 to pass night
in grave yard and refused. It was
the one In which his mother-in-law was
buried.
IT knocked man about crazy to find
that the button he had "by mistake
put IN the contribution-box was one of
set for his wife's sacque, and they cost
80 cents apiece.
MARK TWAIN, lecturing on the Fiji Is
lands, offered to show how the canni-
balls ate their food if any lady would
lend him baby. The lecture had to
go unillustrated.
LIFE must be perfect desert to the
women of Salt Lake. What can they
talk about? There's absolutely nothing
man of that city can do that is scan
dalous.-BoSto1a Posi-.
TEAcHER-"And what was the reply
when Cambronne was called upon to
surrender" Boy Slightly mixed)-
"The old blackguard dies, but never
surrenders !"-Bosto1e Transcript.
AN American says that, from his late
experience of English weather, he
should imagine that "Rain Britannia I"
ought to be as popular in England as
Hail Columbiai" is in the States.
A HUNGRY man went to church fair
for his supper from to g." When a
thin oyster broth appeared as the only
nutriment he exclaimed with Hamlet:
ooh, that this stew to solid flesh would
melt. Heard.
The deacon's son was telling the pas
tor about the bees singing his pa, and
the pastor inquired: "Stung your pa,
did they? Well, what did your pa say ?"
"Step this way moment" said the
boy, I'D rather whisper it to you"
A CoUNTRYMAN sowing his ground,
two smart fellows riding that way, one
of them called to him with an insolent
air: "Well, honest fellow" said he,
It's your business to SOW. but we reap
the fruits of your labor" To which
the countryman replied: "'Tis very
likely you may, for I am sowing hemp"
LIEUTENANT: 4John, I have noticed
for some time that my shirts always
come from the laundry one week too
late. How is this?" John: Excuse
me, Lieutenant, but your shirts are
always so clean that I think it pity to
take them to the laundry, and so wear
them another week"
~ THOUGHT you came here to attend
your mothers funeral" said man to
an acquaintance whom he met at show.
Wen, yes" he replied, ~ was called
to attend the funeral, but when [ az
rived I found the circus in town, so I
concluded to come here. You know
that IN Arkansas you can go to funeral
any time, but let me tell you a circus is
the boss.-Ark Traveller.
A PERTHsHIRE minister, more skill
full as an angler than popular as a
preacher, was once giving advice to a
preacher on the benefits of early rising,
and mentioned as an instance that he
had a few mornings before composed a
sermon and killed a salmon before
breakfast an TACT, sir" said he, with
self-satisfaction, at is matter on which
I plume myself greatly" "Aweel, sir"
was the pointed reply, II wud much
rather haze had yer saumon than yer
sermon"
(Which am de properest way to snip
press oneself, does yer say: we Gated
at de table, or we has done ate at de
table," asked one Austin darkey of an
other, they being engaged in a gram
NAUTICAL discussion. As they could not
agree, the question was referred to
Uncle Nose for his decision, which was
an de case oh you two niggahs none oh
you am right?" "What am de proper
way to say: we Gated at de table,
Uncle Mose?" "De properest way for
SIGH cattle as you two am to say: We
fed at de trof.' "-TerdS SJtj11gs.
KING HENRY the Eighth, being desir-
Gus of making an extensive and unique
collection of Mothers-in-law, and being
unable to obtain satisfactory advice
from Cardinal Wolsey and Sir Thomas
More, sent for a railroad superintend-
ent with whom he had been in the habit
of consulting, and confded to him his
perplexity. "Your Majesty" replied
the Railroad Superintendent, "the only
satisfactory method upon which to con-
duct an extensive Domestic Traffic is
the Block System" "By our halidome,
thou sayest truly" replied the king,
and having created the superintendent
Lord High Brakeman of the Kingdom,
he sent instantly for the Royal Heads
man and instructed him to put razor
edge on the axe. Moral-It is the curse
of kings to be attended by slaves who
take their humor for warrant.-
George T. La11igG11.
Few Minutes in the Dublin Exposition.
The Dublin Exposition is in a sort of
small crystal palace on the upper part
of Sackville street. There is one large
and long hall, with arched glass roof
and galleries all round. At one end is
large organ and place fer an orches-
ira. From the centre of this main hall.
another extends at right angles like the
letter t. Many banners are on the in
ner walls, but the flag of England finds
no place there. In the very center
hangs an immense extent of bunting
the familiar Stars and Stripes. The
others are mostly flags with harps on
l.