Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1883-10-31
WHOLE NO. lat.
The Bad Boys Fatted Calf.


sald the grocery man to the bad bOy
as he came in the store looking tired
with his clothes sOiled. and a general
appearance of having been slee1ing in
freight cars with cattle. "Ydur M
told me he expected YOU might NOT
come back. Where YOU been9"
Cmcago," said the boy, as he took
out a toad-stabber knife and proceeded
TO take the ulster off smoked herring.
Been playing Prodigal Son, in two
acts. But the times have changed since
That young fellow in the Bible went off
on tear and came back and the old
lolKs Killed young cow for him to
eat, and fell on his shirt collar and
crled down the back of his neck. They
uon receive prodigal sons that way in
our ward. They fill a prodigal sons
coat tails full Of boots. and he can't
nhd cold veal enough in the house To
make a sandwich"
thought your folks were MONS
and would be inclined to overlook any.
thing, said the grocery man. as he
charged the herring and crackers to
the Dad boys father. "You don't
mean TO tell me they went back OH the
teaching OF the good book, and warmed
your jacket"
You have guessed it the first time"
sald the boy. This prodigal son bust
ness IS all right in theory. but in nrac-
ice ITS dead failure. You sec ot
sunday School the lesson was about
the probigal son, and the minister toI5
us all about how the boy took oil tba
money he could scrape up and went to
INSTANT country and painted the
towns req and spent his money like a
coultrNhan at circus, and how he
took in all the sights. and got broke.
ana got hungry and took a lob at the
stockyards feeding pigs, and he was SO
hungry he used to help the pigs eat
tnelr ratlons, and finally he thought of
MS nome, where they had pie, and he
went nome expecting to be fired ont
OUT MS pa was tickled to see him. and
SCI up free lunch of calf ON the half
smell, and Rugged the bov and made
him feel bully. When we got home ma
and ma talked about the lesson. and IA
SAID 1t was one of the most toucbinU
tnings he ever heard. and told me to
tnlnK OF 1t and it would do me good
Wen, the more thought of it the more
IelI IKE trying the prodigal business
on, and | told my chum about if AMI
ne SAID ne hadn't had any vacation and
ne would go off prOdigaling with me if
l would go, and we would see the cOup-
Try ana have a good time and come
BACK and be received with open arms
wen, we got all our money topetbar
and breakman on a freight train tb.t
goes TO our church, cause his wife SIM.
III the choir, he hid us in the eaboos@
anu we went to Chicago. O my, but
we had a good time. never con,
NOR money wlther the way it did with us.
we ATE ABOUT twenty times day the
lrSt TWO days, and then our apDetites
lett us because we didn't have anv
more money. The first two nights we
sept IN two shilling lodging house,
the tnlrd night we walked around. the
fourth night we slept in the police sta
tion. When our money was gone. half
the fun was gone. If fellow can wall,
around with money ia his pocket he
reels good, even if he don't want to buv
anything, but when the money is gone
he feels bad and wants to buy lois of
things. We waited two DAVIS for onr
brakeman, and when we got on his
train he put us in a cattle car and Il
was vile. traded nav collar button
lot postal card, and wrote to IA that
the prodigal son would put in an an
pearanoe at nine P. NJ, and for him To
prepare to fall upon my neck, and to
send down to the meat market for a
hind quarter of fatted calf. and have
plenty OF gravy. You needn't believe
It, but there was no carriage at the
depot, and we had to walk home. I
could have overlooked that if there had
Deen anything to eat when got to the
house, but there wasn't enough for q
canary bird. Pa, was there. however
ana was just going to hold out nv
neck LOT pa TO get on to weep, when he
GRABBED 1t with his hand and came near
twisting 1t off, and then he turned me
around and began to play bass drum
on my clothes with his feet. never
was so annoyed in all my life, honestly.
1t was not the treatment had a right
10 expect, after they had told me about
Che prodlgal son of ancient times. As
quick as L could catch nv breath I
asked pa what he thought the prodigal
son of the Bible times would have
thought if his pa had mauled him when
ne came home, and what kind of a
story it would have made if it had told
about the old man taking him by the
neck and kicking him all over the
Oon, instead of falling on his neck and
weeping, and giving him veal pot pie.
IA said he wasn't running any old
back number prOdigal sons, and he
thought his way was the best, and he
sent me to bed without any supper.
That settles the prodigal son business
with Hennery. No more fatted calf
for Hank, if you pleas" and the bow
got up and shook the herring Feelings
off his lap.
We'll how did your chum come
out?" asked the grocery man with
much interest.
"Oh, he hasn't come out vet. He is
in the lookup" said the boy. His
ma put the police onto him, and when
he showed up they run him into the
police station for a tramp. think we
have both demonstrated that this
climate does not agree with the prodi-
gal business, and however much they
try to teach US the beauties of such
stories they do not expect US to try to
initiate them. When l 60 to Chicago
after this l shall go in a parlor car;
with lunch enough to last me, and a
return ticket. 1 don't understand it.
Now didn't do half the mean things
in Chicago that the prodigal son of old
did in the far off country, and yet he
got tafy when he got home and got
my spine broke. 1t may be all right,
but they do things different in the old
country, you know"
The grocery man raised such a dust
sweeping cut that the boy coughed,
took few peaches off the top of the
basket and went out whistling, Home
again, from foreign shore"
NATURAL GAS Citizens
of Erie, Pa, have taken in hand the
matter of utilizing the natural gas