The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1883-04-19
Wit and Wisdom.

THURSDAY MORNING. APRIL 10.
Wit and Wisdom.
Secrets of the confessional: us tt a sin,
asks fashionable lady of her spiritual director,
"for me to feel pleasure when gentleman
says am handsome" 1T is my daughter"
he replies gravely; 1--WE should never delight
in falsehood!
Horsford's Acid Phosphate In Desponden
cy, etc.
"DR. W. s. POWELL, Defiance, o., says;
have used it with satisfactory results in dys.
peptic ailments associated with great mental
depression or Dependency
'Yes," said the deacon, "the organist GER
tainly did play opera bouffe airs and the can
can IN his voluntary yesterday. But, dear me,
liant kick ul a row about it without giving
myself away by showing that recognize the
music. Boston Post
Revitalizing the blood is absolutely necessary
for the cure of general debility. weakness, las
situde, Sc. The best enricher of the blood is
Browns Iron Bitters.
The fashionable style of building in New
York is the bachelor fiat. The elevators in
these establishments are worked by Geek.
SCREWS Baltimore American.
1t is not strange that many great politicians
have been enthusiastic fishermen. Not SO
much that they like to hook things as that
they take pleasure in pulling strings..-Lowel
Citizen,
Saniord's Ginger for malaria.
returned from tour Of Europe and Egypt.
.'No," | didn't go to the Red Sea- Red. you
know, doesn't agree with my complexion. -
Philadelphia Chroncle-Herald.
The Domestic" Sewing Machine Company
will remove about May 10th to the elegant
store in the Union Mutual Life Insurance
Building, corner Congress and Exchange
streets.
Herr Most talked for an hour on Saturday
night on the beauties of murder, arson and
robbery, receiving for his labor $3.50. Had
he preached a sermon on faith, hope and
charity, he might have raked in seventy-fye
cents, or possibly eighty-ive cents.-Philadel.
phia News.
The great sale OF Swedish Remedies is aston
ishing, and for enrichipg the blood, creating
an appetite, or strengthening the whule system
nothing can surpass these remedies.
He was a man who would weigh at least 500
pounds, and when he said to his small friend,
-. 4 4
town, 'I'll drop in on You when RETURN the
little man exclaimed: "If you'll let me know
when you're coming III crawl under the
safe.''
Perfect soundness OF body and mind is pos
sible only with pure blood. Leading medical
authorities of all civilized countries endorse
Ayers Sarssparilla as the best blood-purifying
medicine in existence. 1t vastly increases the
working and productive power of both hand
and brain.
McMurtry brought home a bottle of arsenic
for use on the rats. To prevent accidents, he
wrote on the bottle in big letters the word
sPoison . "But what good will that do?n
asked Mrs. Mac; sthe children can't read
sTrue," replied McMurtry; 81 didn't think Of
that Then he wrote beneath the label,
This saws poison. There he added,
'.now they will know what it says. Boston
Transcript.
Like oil upon troubled waters is Bales
Honey OF Horehound and Tar upon a cold.
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in one minute
Joaquin Miller, in letter to the Cincinnati
Commercial Gazette, says: For my own part
when die, and wherever I die, wrap me in
the sheet at once and burn my body instantly.
and scatter my ashes on the hills. This is my
only viii, and appoint each American an ex-
ecutor to see it enforced. Ihave sentimental
desire, too, that my ashes might. If not too
much trouble be scattered somewhere on the
Sierras. That is all the bother am willing TO
be to my fellow citizens when dead. And
then the right to rest on untroubled after all is
over ought to be somehow secured"
III you have Back Ache and cannot get
Hop Plaster of your druggist, send % cts. in
stamps to Carter, Harris s. Hawley Boston,
Mass, and receive one by return mail, or for
s1O0
The denied steamer can now be spelled with
two o's-doomed.-Low-ell Courier.