Smyrna times., 1883-08-29
That Bad Boy and His Girl.
He takes Her on an Excursion to
the Soldiers Home.

the bad boy as he came in the store all
broke up the morning after the 4th of
July"
"What cat?" said the boy, as he
leaned against the zinc ice-box to cool
his back, which had been having trou-
BILE with bunch of firecrackers in his
pistol pocket. "We haven't ordered
any cat from here. Who ordered any
cat sent to our house? We get our
sausage at the Market" and the boy
rubbed some cold cream on his nose
and eyebrows, where the skin was off
Yes, that is all right enough" said |
the grocery man, "but somebody who |
knew where the cat slept, in the box
of sawdust back of the store, filled it |
full lOffirecrackers Wednesday forenoon, |
when | was out to see the procession,
and never notified the cat, and touched |
them off, and the cat went through the
roof of the shed, and she hasn't got hair
enough on her to put in tea. Now you
didn't show up all the forenoon, and
went and asked your ma where you
was, and she said you had been setting
up four nights straight along with a
sick boy in the Third ward, and you
was sleeping all the forenoon the 4th
of July. If that is so, that lets you out
on the cat, but it don't stand to reason.
Own up now, was you asleep all the
forenoon, the 4th, while other boys
were celebrating, or did you scOrch my
cat?" and the grocery man looked at
the boy as though he would believe
every word he said, if he was bad.
WELL" said the bad boy, as he
yawned as though he had been up all
night, " l am innocent of sitting up with
your cat, but plead guilty of sitting
up with Duffy. You see, l am bad,
and it don't make any difference where
l am, and Duffy thumped me once,
when we were playing marbles, and l
said would get even with him some
time. His ma washes for us, and when
she told me that her boy was sick, with
fever, and had nobody to stay with
him while she was away, l thought it
would be good way to get even with
/. Duffy when he was weak, and | went
down there to his shanty and gave him
his medicine, and read to him all day,
and he cried, cause he knew 1 ought
to have mauled him, and that night
sat up with him while his ma did the
ironing, and Duffy was so glad that |
went down every day, and stayed there
every night and fired medicine down
him, and let his ma sleep, and Duffy
has got mashed on me, and he says |
will be an angel when l die. Last
night makes five nights l have sat up
with him, and he has got so that he
can eat beef tea and crackers. My
girl went back on me cause she said
was sitting up with some other girl
. She said that Duffy story was too thin
. . but Duffy's ma was washing at my
: girls house and she proved what
said, and l was all right again, SLEPT
i all the forenoon the 4th, and then stay
> ed with Duffy till 4 O'Clock, and got {
: furlough and took my girl to the Sol
: dier's Home. had rather set up will
u Duffy, though"
y ooh, get out. You can't make M
/ believe you had rather stay in o sioi
d room and sit up with q boy, than t,
} take girl to the 4th of july" said tn,
D grocery man, as he took brush ant
/ wiped the sawdust off some bottles o
. peppersauce that he was taking out 0
Is box. "You didn't have any troubl
y with the girl, did you?"
Is "No,-not with her. said the boy
- as he looked into the little round Zin
u mirror to see if his eyebrows were be
lie ginning to grow "But her pa is s
, unreasonable. / think a man ought
k know better than to kick boy righ
So where he has had pack of firecrack
II ers explode in his pocket. You se'
re when brought the girl back home, sh
u, ~ was wreck. Don't you never take
girl to the 4th of July. Take the a(
e' vice of boy who has had experienc,
% We hadn't more than got to the So
y diers' Home grounds before some boy
" who were playing tag grabbed hold I
III my girls crushed-strawberry polOnais
re and rippedi it off That made her mat
A and she wanted me to take offense f;
We it, and l tried to reason with the boy
81 and they both jumped on me, and
III see the only way to get out of 1t homo
on ably, was to get cut real spry, and
ol got out, Then we sat down under
en- tree, to eat lunch, and my girl swalloV
ne ed pickle the wrong way, and
ny pounded her on the back, the way N
gs and policeman grabbed me and shoe
en- me, and asked me what l was hurtiI
ne that poor girl for, and told me if d
ne it again he would arrest me. Ever
el; thing went wrong. After dark som
nu body fired q Roman candle into n
OF girls hat, and set it on fire, and gra
oy bed the hat and stamped on it, al
'eu spoiled her hair that her ma bong
en- her. By gosh, thought her hair W
9y curly, but when the wig was off, h
D1y own hair was as straight as could /
ne But she was purity, all the same. v
as ., got under another tree, to get awi
Inc from the smell of burned hair, and
boy set off chaser, and it ran right
my girls feet, and burned her stOc
err ings, and woman put the fire out
the her, while l looked for the boy tn
eri- fired the chase, but l did't want to a.
an. him. She was pretty near a wreck
md that time, though she had all her DIRE
lch left except the polonaise, and we we
ion and sat under a tree in a quiet pla,
led and put my arm around her and tC
, of her never to mind the accidents, cat
ers it would be dark when we got hon
ose and just then a spark dropped do'
"a through the tree and fell in my pist
our pocket, right next to her, where /
.oe' bunch of fiPecrackers was, and they
in gan to go off. Well, l never saw su
,ely a sight as she was. Her dress was O
ap- of these mosquito bar, cheese-olC
in dresses, and it burned just like puI
inns 1 had presence of mind enough to !
ials her on the grass and put out the Fl
on but in doing that neglected my o.
ON conhagration, and when got her |
cell out, my eoat-tail and trousers wer
of total loss. My, but she looked lik
the goose that has been picked ,apd lot
rts, ed like a firman that had fell throu
, of a hatchway, Ny girl wanted to
, of home and ! took her home, and her
art, was sitting on the front steps, and
sle. wouldn't accept her, looking that W
;ous He said he placed in my possession
ath- whole girl, clothed and in herright mi
olo- and 1 had brought back burnt OF
'ery ing. He teaches in our Sunday Sch
aki, and knows how 20 talk pious, but
and boots are 0fti1l thick. tried to
S a plain that / was not responsible for
she fireworks, and that he could bring |
En-. bill against the government, and
ans, showed him how / was bereaved o
DhiG eoat.tAil and some pants, but
/ wouldn't reason at all, and when
foot hit me / thought it was p
- driver si1f.a. and when / got over