The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-08-12
Health Food,

scoped spine and put some new copper
rlyets in the lumbar vertabrg, this
spring, have had occasion TO thor
oughly investigate the subject of So
called health food, such rs gruels. beef
Tea lnundatlOns, tOasts, CAlt meal mush
bran mash, soups, condition powders,
graham gem, ground feed, pepsin laud-
able mu5h, and other hen feed usually
poked into the invalid who is too weak
to defend himself.
Of course it stands to reason that the
reluctant and lluttering spirit may not
be won back to earth and Joy once
more beam in the leaden eye unless due
care be taken relative to the food by
means Of which nature may be made to
assert herself
do not care TO say TO the world
through the columns of the Free Press
that we may WOO from eternity the
trembling life with pie. Welsh rabbit
and other wild game will not do at first.
But think | am speaking the senti-
ments Of large and emaciated consti-
tuency when | say that there is getting
to be strong feeling against oat meal
submerged in milk and in favor Of
strawberry short cake,
almost ate myself into an early
grave in April by flying into the face
of Providence and demoralizing old
Gastric with oat meal. ate oat meal
two weeks, and at the end of that time
my friends were telegraphed for, but
before 1t was too late, threw off the
shackles that bound me. With a des-
peration born of terrible apprehen-
ton, rose and shook off the fatal oat
meal habit and began to eat beefst:ak.
At first life hung trembling in the bal
ance and there was no change in the
quotations Of beef, but later on there
was a slight, delicate bloom on the wan
cheek and range cattle that had barely
escaped long, severe winter on the
plains began to apprehend new dan
ger and TO seek the secluded CANYONS Of
the inaccessible mountains.
often thought while | was eating
health food and waiting for DEATH how
the doctor and other invited guests at
the post mortem would start back in
amazement to find the remnants OF an
eminent man filled with bran!
Through all the painful hours of the
long, long night and the eventless dav.
while the mad throng rushed onward
like great river towards eternity's
ocean, this thought was uppermost in
my mind. | tried to get the physician
10 promise that he would not expose
me and show the world what a hollow
mockery had been and how | had de.
ceived my best friends told him the
whole truth and asked him to spare nv
family the humiliation of knowing that
though | might have led blameless
life, my sunny exterior was only thin
covering for bran and shorts and mid
dlings, cracked wheat and pearl barley.
dreamed last night Of being in a
large city whore the streets were paved
with dry toast and the buildings were
rooted with toast and the soil was bran
and oat meal, and the water was beef
tea and cruel. All at once itcame over
me that had solved the great mystery
OF death and had been consigned to a
place Of eternal punishment. The
thought was horrible. A million eter-
mites in city built Of dry toast aud oat
meal A home for never ending cycles
of ages, where the principal hotel and
the po,tollice building and the opera
house were all built Of toast, aud the
fire department squirted cruel at the
dcvOuriug element forever
1t was only dream but it has made
me more thoughtful, and people notice
that am not so giddy as | was. Bill
Nue..