davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
Shipping Ostriches to California.

New York Sun.
DIR. Protheroe carried an armful of long
stockings into the deer-hut at Central park
and began blindfolding the twenty-five os-
triches He seized one after another by the
necks and dexterously slipped the stockings
over their heads When they were blinded
they kept up sort of nervous dance Os-
triches are said to imagine themselves invisi-
BILE when they cannot see. The birds which
were yesterday pulled and showed about while
blindfolded must have been disabused of this
fancy.
When all were blinded, DR.. Prothero and
Mr.. Sketchley, the latter the manager of the
ostrich farm to be established in California,
laid hold each of wing of one bird. third
person showed behind, and the bird was
forced out of the enclosure, and up an in
clined plane into a big van that was in waiting
This process was repeated with each bird
The van was lined with cushions. The TWEEN
ty-two birds filed it completely. The stock
ings were taken off in the van, and it moved
toward the Erie Railway ferry 1t was fol-
lowed by another van containing straw, twelve
barrels of turnips, half ton of corn, some
oil cake, and the salt, pebbles, and chopped
bones required by the delicate digestive or
gans of the ostrich. At the railroad depot the
birds we're transferred to car boarded off in
to three compartments. No accidents occurred
during the transfer.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05

with pleasure he responded: and piercing
the potato, eoolly left the fork extended from
it Again, we hear Of . very polite and i'm
pressive gentleman who said to youth in the
street; 4Boy, may inquire where Robinson's
drug store is?" certainly, sir,' replied the
boy very respectfully. 3WeI, SIR" said the
gentleman, safter waiting awhile, Gwhere is it,"
q have not the least idea said the urcnin-
There was another boy who was accosted by
an aesthetic middle-aged lady, with BOY
1 want to go to D street. SWELL,
ma'am," said the boy, 91Fhy don't you
go there!" Sometimes this wit degen-
crates into punnlng, as when Flora pointed
pointed pensiyely to the heavy masses Of
clouds in the sky, saying: Il wonder where
those clouds are going?" and her brother re-
piled: 4 think they are going to thunder"
Also the following dialogue: GHello, therel
How do YOU sell your wood?D sBy the cords
How long has it been cut?" 1Four feet?" Il
mean how long has it been since you cut it?"
aNo longer than it is now. And also, as when
Patrick 0Flynn was seen with his collar and
bosom sadly begrimed, and was Indignantly
asked by his officer: Sratrick OFlynn, how
long do yon wear shirt" @Twenty eight
inches, sir" he replied, with an air Of inimit-
able drollerY.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
The Vacuum Gun in Africa.
NYa,,- n,x,,on

But the vacuum gun is also to put an end to
barbarism. AS is well known, barbarsm is
the result of beasts of prey. How can we ex-
pect the central African, for example, to be
civilized so long as they are constantly being
eaten by lions and crushed by elephants? 1t
is useless for a missionary to sit down under
golly bush tree with native king and to in
struct him in theuse Of trousers, the terrestrial
globe, and the typewriter, while the kings
attention is distracted by half a dozen lions
who are making ready to spring upon him, and
the missionary's interest in his work is lessen
ing by the approach of herd of hostile ele-
plants. The vacuum gun will, however, free
Africa of wild beasts with rapidity which will
hardly permit lion to wink. Mr.. Fox, the
inventor, proposes to build series of watch
towers, the size and shape of Eddystone light
house, all over Africa. On the summit of the
tower will be placed vacuum gun designed
to shoot arrows of enormous size, while at the
foot of the tower the native king viii sit and
sing hymns in a grateful expectation of fresh
meat Whenever a wild beast approaches
within fifteen miles of the tower he will be in
stantly shot with the vacuum gun, and the
natives will dress the carcass and put the
meat up in Theoretically -sealed cans for the
European market 1t is estimated that in two
years every wild beast on the continent of
Africa can be thus slain, and the natives, hav-
ing grown rich in the preserved meat trade,
will be virtually civilized by the time the last
beast is killed What philanthropist is there
who does not feel thrill of delight In con-
templating this magnificent prospect, and
what man is there with a heart in his bosom
and fondness for canned lion who will not
feel grateful to the benevolent Fox?
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
UNCLE TOMS CABIN.
ter After Chapter Sandwiched in
Between the Daily Household

How 1t Came to be Written Chap.
ter After Chapter Sandwiched in
Between The Daily Household
Tasks.
James Parton in Youths Companion.
On certain day, thirty-one years ago. in the
month of June, Mrs. Stowe enjoyed the agree
able experience of receiving letter with an
unexpected check feC money in it.
The check which Mrs. Stowe received in
June, 1851, came from the editor of The Ma
tional Era, a newspaper published in the city
of Washington, and tradition reports it to have
been of the value Of one hundred dollars.
The National Era was an anti-slavery paper,
chiefly noted on account of the place whence it
was issued. Itattacked slavery at the capital
Of the United States, in the District of Column
bia, where slaves were lawfully held, and in
close proximity to states in which slavery was
the ruling interest
1t had little influence at the capital, where,
indeed, good many Of the people were scarce
ly aware of its existence.
Mrs Stowe was quietly observant person
on the banks of the Ohio, not famiug abo-
itionist, mot fiery partisan having real and
strong regard for many of the eminently good
qualities Of the southern people; fully com
pretending their inherited difficulties, and
having for them charitable sympathy.
But in her own quiet way she gradually abb
sorbed knowledge of the whole system of
life in the southern states; its good and its
evil, its tragedy and its comedy. She appears
to have done this without particular effort,
and even without knowing that she had done
it q"
Nor is-it probable that, when she sat down
to write something for her hundred-dollar
check, and called it "Uncle Toms Cabin, or
Life among the Lowly, she had any lofty antic-
ipations concerning her work. 1t lis altogether
Ekely-judging from the way great things are
usually done-that her principal care was to
give the editor good hundred dollars worth
for his mon y.
She expected to finish the story in three or
four numbers But the subject fascinated
and overpowered her, and she was drawn on,
week after week, cheered now and then by
another check, by the warm appreciation of
the editor, and by occasional approving letters
from distant readers
Few literary tasks have ever been executed
In circumstances so little favorable to compo-
sition- She was at the head Of a household
with narrow means, with young children
clamorous for their mothers aid, with the in
exorable Monday wash to superintend, the
Saturdays baking to do, the semi-weekly
batch Of bread to make, her class Of young
ladies to instruct company to entertain, gar
ments to cut out, buttons to sew on, and all
the endless tasks of wife and mother
Sometimes, on baking day, she would light
the fire in the big brick oven, and thinking to
gain few minutes for writing, would fly to
her Ia and become so absorbed by it as to
forget everything in the world except the
scene she was describing. She would return
to her oven to find it as cold as it was at mid
night; not spark of fire left, and the bread
kept on for about eighteen months and fin
iahed tia work.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
THE UNPLEAsAET DIFFERENCE
Between Being Poor Man and AThe-
africaI Agent

Indianapolis Journal
One of the mysteries in railroad operations
Is that's much is done by the way of counting
the non-paying theatrical business. A repre-
sentative of The Journal, day or two since,
CHANGED to be in one of the local outside
offices when one Of those cheeky advance
agents of theatrical troupe came in. The
first thing he called for was railway guide,
the looking over Of, which, laying out his
route for couple Of weeks, occupied fully
fifteen minutes. His first request was pase
for himself andl ithographer to a point SS4
miles away with dozen Of stop-offs. Then
in few days his programme distributor
would be along, and he wished pass for him
him and some 500 pounds Of baggage. Then,
at the same time there would be boxes weigh
ing 1900 pounds, which he wished sent
through to the terminus Of the route laid out,
free. This was all consented to- The
advance agent then remarked that
there was % cents day storage on the last
would arrange with the baggageman to throw
on. He then asked for an order for the treas
urer of the troupe for thirteen tickets in
which the amount ione cent per mile for eacbl
would be stated Then the matter of connec-
ton was brought up, and it was found neces-
ssry to hold the train thirty to forty minutes
at three points, that they might fulfill their
engagements. This was all arranged Then
the advance agent remarked that their scenery
was bulky, and probably it would be neces-
sary to put it on special car to carry it
Just then a sturdy farmer, who proposed to
immigrate to a Kansas point came IN, stating
that himself and wife, his wife's sister and
seven children were to immigrate there, and
he wanted the lowest rate. The local agent
named the rate, which was 2% cents
per mile per head, carried this side
of the Missouri river, and an arbi.
trary rate was added on the west side. Hele
the baggage question came up, and it was
found that it would cost him some SIS to get
1t through, owing to excess in weight The
farmer, who was going west to furnish pro-
duce which would be carried over these very
roads, accepted the situation, called for the
tickets, but as he pulled out his pocket book,
sad: Look here, captain, can't you put a
little chap We have, about six years old,
through free?" swell, no; but l tell you
what will dol will get him through on half
fare, The farmer paid his money and left,
put the advance agent was still there using
the paper of the railroad company and writ
ing two or three kilograms which he wished
sent free The reporter left at this iuncture.
thinking that were he a general manager the
theatrical party should pay big rates, and the
horny handed farmer should be the favored
one of the two
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
The TrOtting Mare Maud 8.

Louisville Courier-JournaI
There is now at Chester park, near Cincin-
natl, Maud s., the feetest mare that ever
trotted around race-track. This $4,000
specimen ofhorse-fesh, which had but lately
arrived in the city from New York, held little
reception that afternoon, and quite number
OF men attended She put out her head to
them, and submitted to their pats of recog-
milton with much favor, and watched the door
for more to come in She will live for the
winter in handsome room, ceiled with planed
white pine and divided in half by a railing, on
one side of which is her own quarters, bedded
with clean straw, and on the other, fresh new
mating for the comfort of visitors On the
walls Of the room were many handsome eques-
trian pictures, and in a large frame was the
name of the mare with her record ETC., the
letters of which legend were carved in hick-
DRY, with the adornments of horse shoes,
whips, stirrups and other @jockey fixings" cut
in miniature, and all relieved by background
of black velvet The mare was looking the
picture of health and comfort, her coat shone
like red gold, and her name and tail, this latter
appendage touching the ground, were like
strands of silk. She's daisy from Daisy
vile, but hundred thousand dollars is bigger
in the eyes Of most men than any @hoss"' that
ever wore hoof.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
Hundred Dollar Penkniyes

New York Sun. - "I|s
slave you any hundred dollar penknives?"
a.Union square jeweler was asked
sWe have not any on hand at that price, ne
replied, shut we can make you one at any
price We made an opera glass that cost
81, zoe, and have sold penknives for more than
$780,
slow can you put that value in penknife?'
sChiefy by putting diamonds or other jewels
in the handle. Here is a penknife that we sell
for $50. You see the handle has six stones-a
diamond and two sapphires on each side of the
scales. Here are couple of dozen penkniYes
costing from $27 to 500 This is rather a
small stock, because it is late in the season
The most expensive penknives are made to or
der, and their cost is limited only by the
amount the buyer is willing to spend"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05

rssbella Grant Meredith, in Harper's Kaga-
zne1

Isabella Grant Meredith, in Harpar's Mara
FINAL
Some day shall be dead
Some day this tired head,
With all the anxious thoughts if now don
Shall be laid low.
This body, pain-racked, III,
Shall lie at length, and still,
Under the clover and the wind-swept grass
Nor hear you pass.
That were, indeed, strange sleep,
When even VOC might weep,
And come, and go-even you-unheard Of ma
As bird or bee
Nay, sweetheart, nay! believe
Here is no cause to grieve
One 30 wayworn, of trouble so opprest
Is glad of rest
Perchance, when that release
Hath wrought its spell of peace,
Der this unquiet heart, long vext with woe,
Hearts-ease may grow.
Who loves me win not weep
When that lie asleep,
But rather JOY to think such sorrow win
Have end some day
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
Funny Bill Travers and the Bunko
Men.


Mr.. William R Travers tells the following
story on himself, and vouches for it's being
new and true one: AS he was leaving his of
fee on Thursday last well-dressed man APP
preached him, and greeting him very cordi-
ally said: &How do you do, sir? / am very
glad to see you. When did You arrive in the
city,"
SE-er-e-ex-c-c-c-cus meme, sir," said
Mr.. Travers. &You-you have evidently mis-
-mis-mistaken me for s-s-s-somebody else. I"
~Are you not Mr.. Andrews of Poughkeep-
sie?" queried the man.
@N-n-no, sir; my name is Tr-Tr-Travers,"
he replied, whereupon the man, with many
apologies, made off
Mr.. Travers quietly walked up Broadway,
looking in the windows, as In his habit, when
he was suddenly stopped by man, who rush
ing up to him offered his hand and said: slow
do you do, Mr.. Travers? l am so glad to see
you'll Iheard you were in town and have been
looking out for you everywhere"
Papa par pardon me, sir, said Mr.. Ira
vers, blandly my name is not er-Ter-Ter-
vers; Liam Mr. An-An-An-Andrevs from
Pok-Pok-P oughkeepsia.s
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
THE LADY AND THE TIGER
A Sequel to a HaIf-TOId Magazine
Story.


Ban Francisco Chronicle.
Amajority of the reading public of San
Francisco is just now amusing itself over the
momentous question, SWho came out of the
right hand door?" The Century for November
contained . bit Of grotesque absurdity by
Frank Stockton, entitled, @The Lady or the
Tiger?" To appreciate the interest which the
question has excited is necessary to under
stand the story. A powerful and absolute
eastern king, just enough inoculated with civ
llization to be consistently and ingeniously
barbarous, after canvassing the relative mer-
its of the test by hemlock and hensbane and of
trial by jury, conceived the following scheme
of perfect justice: He caused to be constructed
a vast amphitheatre called @the kings arena.
Whenever any one was accused of a crime suf-
fciently black to merit the attention of the
king, the accused was cast into prison, and it
was announced that on . certain day he would
be brought into the arena On the floor of the
arena opposite the kings high throne, were
two doors. When the prisoner was brought
into the arena he was allowed to look once
around the vast amphitheatre. He then
bowed to the king and Immediately there
after crossed the arena and opened one of the
two doors. Now. behind one of these doors
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
W0IseIev,s Ideal Soldier.

Ross E. Raymond in San Francisco Chronicle
what do you think are the most essential
qualities of a soldier and an army, Sir Gar
net ?"
esprit de corps and pride A soldier should
be proud of his profession, and he should have
the greatest interest and feeling for his indi-
vidual command He should be dressed well
Even should he incline toward dandyism that
should be encouraged The better you dress
a soldier the more highly he will be thought
of by women, and consequently by himself
The duke of Wellington said of his officers in
Spain that many of the best of them were the
greatest dandies. Men in the campaigns
of the past used to pride themselves
in being slovenly. To be unshaven
and dirty was supposed to be the
sign of good officer The spirit runs like
wildfre amongst an army. Whatever the
officers think fine the men will think so, too.
It is very difficult to make an Englishman at
any time look like a soldier. He is fond Of
longish hair and uncut whskers. In the field
no person should wear his hair over half an
inch in length. 1t should never be long enough
to part No man can have smart hearing who
can part his hair. Hair is the glory of wom-
an but the shame of a man. Men who have
never worn boards are apt to think that 10
wear one saves good deal of trouble. 1t does
so if you do not clean it, but to wear long one
and keep it clean demands more time ard
trouble than shaving On service discipline
deteriorates when but little attention is paid to
dress, and when the men wear almost what
they like"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
sPlease do not tumble down the shaft" il
the polite notice posted at the mouth Of Ne
Vada mine
when oscar Came Down a Poo

Il met Oscar Wilde in London once" said
Mad Christine Nilsson-Rouzeaud the other
day, ''where we were both guests, and he was
to take me down to dinner. He commenced to
talk his nonsense and pose to me as we we're
going to the dining-room said to him.
Look here, Mr.. Wilde, Mad Christine Nils
son will put up with no such stuff. This is all
put on, and there is nothing in it but non
sense Mr.. Wilde said: Thank you You
are the first sensible woman and true friend
thatIve met After that he acted as man
should. and talked sensiblv
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05

Prof. Huxley says to the boys: "a somewhat
varied experience of men has led me, the
longer 1 live, to set the less value on mere
cleverness; to attach more and more import
Ance TO industry and physical endurance. In
deed, I am much disposed to think that endur-
ance is the most valuable quality of all; for
industry as the desire to work hard, does not
come to much if feeble frame is unable to
respond to the desire. No life is wasted unless
it ends in sloth, dishonesty or cowardice. No
success is won but by honest industry and
brave breasting of the waves of fortune.S
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
A young Lawyers shrewdness.

Cincinnati Enquirer.
A certain talented young lawyer of neigh
boring town, who has now reached an enviablt
position in his profession, began with what has
been said to be one of the prime necessities il
making lawyer, poverty. One day creditor
presented him with bill which he was at the
time unable to pay, and he said:
II cannot pay you to-day"
"This bill must be paid to-day, or shall sue
you"
@You will have to sue then. By the Way
bright thought striking him-Sif you brine
suit employ me- and will prosecute the case
and confess judgment, and it shall not cos
you cent"
This novel proposition was accepted. Tht
young attorney at law entered suit in the cir
cult court, confessed Judgment, replevied the
debt, and at the proper time paid it in full Hi.
only compensation was the enjoyment he de
rived through satisfying a keen sense of humor
The clerk of the court, being in the secret
charged no fees in this singular case.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
The Schools.
Albion W. Tourgee.

dislike to say anything against the public
schools; but see in its present development
that the best is linked with the worst; the
growth with the decay; and the decay will
overcome. have thought that the fathers
and mothers enter too little into the life Of
their children. baby is taken from ITS cradle
and turned over to the care of schoolmaster
and into book before it gets over winking
from surprise Standing boy upon end like
q sausage, and stufing him full Of facts is not
the best way to make mon.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
GenfIemen Are Rare

Thackeray, in his original and piquant way
very truly says: "a gentlemen is rarer thing
than some of US think for. Which Of us can
point out many such in his circIe-men, whose
aims are generous, whose trnth is constant
and elevated, who can look the world honestly
in the face with equal, manly sympathy for
great and small? All know hundred whose
coats are well made, and a score who have ex-
cellent manners, but of gentlemen, how many?
Let us each take scrap of paper, and make
his list"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
The Western Edftor.

western editor received letter from an
indignant subscriber, who said: Il don't want
your paper any longer.s To which the editor
mildly replied: sThat is all right Iwouldn't
make it any longer if you did, because in that
case should have to buy new press. The
present length just suits me, and am glad it
suits you" 1t is to be hoped that this soft
answer turned away wrath
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
What the National Agricultural
Department Costs.

San Francisco Chronicle.
1t takes this year about $50, 600 to run the
machinery Of the agricultural department at
Washington. Thirty-two thousand five hun
dred dollars goes for salaries, as follows:
Commissioner Loring, $4,000; chief clerk,
statistician, chemist, entomologist and super
intendent of experimental garden, 81, 600 each,
or $4,000; miscroscopist, botanist, disbursing
clerk and superintendent of seed room and
assistant engineer, 81, 400; assistant in garden
experiments, in seed room and of seed bags,
$1,000 each; to museum attendants, 81, 600
each; carpenter, $500. The balance goes for
occasional help, etc. The expense and wages
paid are not great,and if they all do their duty
the money will be well and profitably expended
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
The Big Cities.

N6W IOTh OUu
According to comprehensive statistical re-
turn lately published in Germ-ny, there ar
in Europe ninety cities with more thar
100000 inhabitants, out of which four capitals
show each over mill million population, as fol
Berlin, 1,122,500; Vienna, 1,103, Ito. Out O
the ninety-two cities and towns referred to
England claims 26, Germany, II; Italy, IL
France, 10, and Russia g. The others ar.
divided among the smaller states. Their,
were in the United States in 1880 twenty cite
having 100000 inhabitants and upward
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-01-05
.Boomerang. ArtiIleru

Boston Journal of Chemistry.
In The Revue d'Artillerie, Capt Chapel has
lately called attention to a new property of
discoid projectiles, and thinks it might in some
cases prove valuable This is tendency in the
descending path, to return, ana to strike the
ground at an angle above 80 degrees. In this
way, artillery placed opposite line of defense
would be able to strike the defenders from
behind, and the ordinary methods of defense
would require modification