Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1883-03-09
His Ma Comes Home.

when is your ma coming back !?
asked the grocery man of the bad boy
as he found him standing on the side
walk when the grocery man was open
ing in the morning, taking some pieces
of bricks out of his coat pockets
oh, she got back at midnight last
night, said the boy. as he ate f, W
blue berries ont of case. That's
what makes NE up SO early. Pa has
been kicking at these pieces of brick
with his bare feet, and when | came
away he had his toes in his hand and
was trying to 60 back up stairs on one
foot. Pa hain't 60 no sense
4 am afraid you are a terror said
the grocery man as he looked at the
innocent face of the boy. You are al
ways making your Mrents some trou-
ole, and it is d wonder to NE that they
iont send you to reform school.
What deviltry We're You up to last
night to get kicked this morning.
NO deviltry, just a little fun
Y GU see, ma went to Chicago to stay
"a week, and she got tired and tel
egraphed she would be home last night,
and pa was down town, and forgot to
give him the dispatch, and aft he
went to bed me and chum of mine
thought we would have a Eth OF July.
You see, nv chum has got sister
about as big as me, and we hooked
some Of her clothes. aud after pa got
to snoring We put them in pas room.
oh you'd LATED. We put a pair of
number one slippers. with blue stock
ings, down in front of the rocking chair,
and a red corset on a chair, and my
chum's sisters best black silk dress
on another chair and hat with a white
feather on it. on the bureau. and some
frizzers on the glass bracket. and every
thing that we coul fad that belonged
to girl in my chums sister S ROOM
Oh, We got real paraSol, too, and left
it right in the middle of, the floor.
Well, when | looked at the Layout
and heard pn snoring, | thought |
should die. You see, ma knows pa Is
a darned good fellow. but she is easily
excited Nv chnm slept with me
that night. and when We heard the
door bell ring | stuffed pillow IN nv
m nth. There was nobody TO meet
ma at the depot, and she hired h ok
and c'me right up. Nobody heard
the bell but me, and | had to go down
and let ma in. She was pretty hot
now at not being met at the depot.
where's your father sid she As
she began to 90 up stairs,
Il told her | gu ssed pa had gone to
sleep bv this time. hut h. ard a good
deal Of noise in the room about AN
hour ago. and maybe he was taking
bath. Then | slipped up s'airs and
looked over the banisters. Ma said
something about heaven and earth.
and where is the hnzzv. and los of
things | couldn't hear: and pa said
damfino, and its no such thing. and
the door slammed and they talked for
two hours. | s'pose they finally laid
it on me. us they always DO. cause pa
called me very early this morning,
and when | came down stairs h. came
out in the hall and his face was rel
der'n beet. and he triei 10 stab me
with his big mail, and if it handn't
been for these pieces Of brick he woull
have hurt my feelings see they hal
nv chum's sisters clothes all pinned
up in newspaper, and | s'pnse when
| 60 back | shall have to carry them
home, and then she will be down on
me- I'll tell YOU what | have a good
notion to take some shormaker's wax
and stick my chum on nv back and
travel with "a circus as double head
ed boy from Borneo. \ fellow conld
have more fun and not get kicked all
the time.
And the boy sampled some straw
berries in a case in front of the store
and went down the street whistling for
his chum, who was looking out of an
ally to see if the coast was clear.