News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1883-01-18

WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY.
LITERATURE AND SOAP.

to write Il Christmas article for New
York weekly paper. She was amiable
and seemed to think favorably of the
project "But I can't write, she said
you know [ can't write anything that
would be interesting"
[ said the obvious thing-that a lady
of her intelligence and experience could
undoubtedly write an entertaining sketch
of herself and her profession. cit
doesn't matter much what it is said
the lady from Jersey; " my name is all
you want. The article wouldn't be
much"
Il viii bring you a check for $780," I
continued.
cone hundred pounds, you mean,
observed the far lady with a twinkle,
and appropriate emphasis.
40, 1 managed to say, "f2O. Your
name is an attraction, but no weekly
paper would be justified, think, in Of
fering e1OO for it,
very well" she said, laughing, 81
don't care to become a journalist unless l
can get G100 for an article. Oscar
Wilde gets that, and more, too!''
L assured her on my own personal
knowledge that Mr.. Wilde did not get
that, or anything like it.
"Weu, [ cam" she answered, with
Il laugh, ''for l was offered ESQ last
week-that's-let's see-S75O- just to
put my name to a certificate of toilet
soap. And I've forgotten the name of
the maker alreadyr' she gurgled glee-
fully. ''Seven hundred and fifty dol
lars p repeated Mrs. Labouchere,
solemnly, 'for toilet soap! and she got
it, too"
[ said: ''Is it not less pleasant to GER
tify to the excellence of somebody's
toilet soap than it would be to put your
name to an illustrated article in a promi-
nent journal?"
She bathed me with her violet eyes,
and I heard a velvet voice say, "Why p
because - [ said; but stopped
with that answer. l didn't want to
strain my intellect by celebrating an eX-
PLANTATION of the ''why"
WANTED To BE GLUED FOR LIFE.
A couple from away up in the hills
came to town yesterday to get married
The groom, apparently about thirty years
of age, wore q clay colored suit of jeans,
and carried in one hand a black snake
whip. The bride, who was scarcely more
than twenty, was indeed a blooming
beauty. Making their way to a justice
of the peace, and pulling the license out
of his pocket, the love stricken man
asked:
BE you the Squire ?"
81 be, =" said the Squire; ''what is your
wish %
"Have you the power fur to marry peo-
pie and hitch EN- Slid ?"
Eyes, sir"
80 it can't never become undone ?"
Eyes, sir
Fire ahead Squire. -
The Squire proceeded to business, and
when he got as far as the question to the
girl, ''Do you take this man for your law
full and welded husband ?" the groom
heightened the ceremony by putting the
following additional question to her, for
he wanted to be "hitched tighter than
wax
''And you won't have no more to do
with Bill Sykcs?' mo" "Nu Sam
Hill ?" ''No." ''Nur Pete Jones ?" ono"
See here, Sallie, don't look down on
the floor that way; that means you don't
know whether you will or not. Look
squar' in my face, Sally"
Then Sally looked ''squar' " in his
face, and he continued:
''Nur Jack Powers ?"
''No."
Here the Squire interrupted and said:
Il don't think it's necessary to pin the
young lady down 50 closely She prom
ises me to be your true and lawful wife,
and that's enough"
esquire, you don't know that gal like
I do. She's croquette. She firts with
everyfeIlowwho gets struck after her, and
there are dozens Of EN-. Now want all
that business stopped; and [ want it done
here by law
$50 be it, said the Squire; ''Sarah
Peters is welded to you for life, and no
power on earth can take her from YOU"
''Thats the talk! Come on, Sallie;
you're mine! We're glued for life oh,
wait till pay the Squire"
He paid the Squire dollar-all he
had-and left for his country wagon hap
pier than he'll ever be again.-Kcntucky
state JDtlnoL
GIVING AWAY A CHRISTMAS TURKEY
He was a bouncing turkey, and they
had him hung by the heels, so that his
nose almost touched the walk Just out
side of the butcher shop. A little girl
was standing there, Watching it. You
could see that she was a hungry little
girl, and, worse than that, she was cold.
too, for her shawl had to do her for
hood and almost everything else. Noone
was looking, so she put out little, red
hand and gave the turkey push, and he
swung back and forth, almost making the
great iron hook creall, he was SO heavy.
''What a splendid big turkey this is %
The poor little girl turned around, and
there stood another little girl, looking at
the turkey, too She was out walking
with her dolls, and had on a cloak with |
real fur all around the edges, and she
had a real muff, white, with black spots |
all over it.
"Good morning, Miss" said the !
butcher. You see he knew the little girl
with the muff, well.
"That's very big turkey, Mr.. Mar
tin.
eyes, said the poor little girl, timidly.
''He's the biggest ever saw in my life.
He must be splendid to eat"
''Pooh p said the little girl with the
mulf, ''he isn't any larger than the one !