The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1883-11-02

under certain circumstances. ssys
Chambers Journal, a perfectly natur.
al proceeding, and one which, within
certain limitations, constitutes high
ly pleasing experience. 1t is pro.
ceeding, morever which may be said
to have received thesanction Of univer-
sal custom from the immemorial and
, all the world over aud there are not
at present any indications of its be.
coming in future less popular shan it
has been in the past. A kiss is not a
thing that you can successfully describe
A poetic lover who undertook the de-
scription would probably never get be-
yond some stupidity inflated general
ties.
Josh Billings truthfully observes that
the more a man tries to analyze kiss
the more he can't and he believes that
the only real way to define a kiss is to
take one. Kisses, of course, vary con
siderably. There are the formal kiss
of greeting the fraternal kiss of
affection the kiss of policy, which it
is not always easy to give with good
grace the kiss under the misteetoe,
which is not only obtained after (of
course) q tremendous amount of strug-
Cling and merriment the lovers kiss
which breathes of rapure, and the
staid, dutiful salutation Of conjugal at
tachment. Such classification as this
only suggests an indefinite variety, of
experience.
A curious case of osculation is re-
ported from across the Atlantic. Some
time ago MIR. Finch, who was in the
jewelry business in Newbern, United
States, sold to a young lady named
Miss Waters what was described as a
beautiful set of real jet, the bargain
being that he was to receive in pay
,ment thereof one hundred kisses, to be
paid at the rate of one kiss daily. Mr..
Finch was to call at the young lady's
house every morning, Sundays except
ed, to receive his daily kiss, which
Miss Waters undertook and promised
to duly deliver to him. For thiry con-
secutive days-Sundays excepted-Mr.
Finch punctually called upon Miss
Waters and duely received the stipu-
lated salutation. On the thirty-frst
day, however, Mr.. Finch made q for
NAL complaint that Miss Waters was
not fulfilling her contract, inasmuch as
she insisted upon permitting him to
kiss her cheek only He maintained
that this did not constitute legal kiss
and demanded that he should be allow
ed to put his arm around her waist and
kiss her in the highest style of the art.
To this, however, firm refusal was
returned. The lady offered Mr.. Finch
choice of cheeks, but insisted that
the contract would not bear the con-
struction he put upon it. Thereupon
Mr.. Finch, in great indignation, brought
an action for breach of contract against
the lady.
This action raised several new and
interesting questions, among the most
important of which was, what consti-
tuted, in the eye of the law, kiss
The plaintiff set up the further plea
that there was a difference between
active and passive kisses that Miss
Waters had promised to give him a
certain number of kisses--not merely
to allow him to take them-and that
giving them was an act which required
the use of the lips. The case was the
subject of considerable controversy in
the press and elsewhere but the wri.
ter, unfortunately. has never been able
to discover the result of the legal pro-
ceedings which were instituted, and
has concluded that compromise of
some sort must, as was at one time ex-
pected, have been brought about.
An equally remarkably kissing
traction occurred not long ago in Aus
tria. In this instance kiss was ac-
tually put up for sale by auction and
publicly bestowed upon the highest
bidder. The occasion was charity
fete got up in the little town of Toran-
al on behalf of the poor at Agram. The
well meant endeavors of the benevo-
lent ladies and gentlemen who acted as
statesmen and stallholders to induce
visitors to purchase trifes exposed for
sale at twenty times their value had
not succeed Business was not brisk.
The public who filled the sale were
not in a generous mood, and the orga-
nizers of the fete were disheartened.
AT this juncture one of the lady pat
ronesses, a remarkably beautiful wo-
man, had what she thought happy
inspiration. She took her husband
aside, conferred with him few
minutes, and shortly after, with his
consent, offered kiss to the highest
bidder, the sum paid for the favor to
be added to the receipts of the fete.
The result of this novel idea hardly
came up to what was anticipated Very
low bidswere at first offered by the young
men--for, of course, the feminine por-
tion of the visitors were not tempted
by the opportuni ty-and ultimately the
kiss was knocked down at the relative
paltry figure of fifteen forms andI eleven
kreuzers. The husband of the lady,
seeing the slight store set by the ravor,
offered to pay the amount himself and
take the kiss, but the claimant had al
ready handed over the money, and as
he refused to agree to the bargain be.
ing Cancelled, the kiss was exchanged
before the assembled company.
A young lady reaGing in news
paper the other day of a girl having
been made crazy by a sudden kiss,
called the attention of her uncle, who
was in the room, to that rather singu-
lar occurrence, whereupon the old gen
tleman grufiiy demanded what the fool
had gone crazy for "What did she
go crazy for p archly returned the in
genious maiden "why, for more, sup
pose u