Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1883-05-08
Peck's Bad Boy.
THE BABY MAKES MORE -TROUBLE-A
GOAT INTRODUCED.

"Weli, how is the baby ?" asked the
grocery man of the bad boy, as he came
into the grocery smiiing very horsey." /"
and sat down on the chair with the
back gone, and looked very tired.
30 d IN the badly Every body asks
NE about the baby as though it was
mine / don't pay no attention to the
darn thing, except to notice the foolish
ness going on around the house. Say,
I guess that baby will grow up to be a
| fire engine. The nurse coupled the ba-
| by on to section of rubber hose that
runs down Into bottle of milk, and it
| began to get up steam, and pretty soon
the milk began to disappear. just like
the water does when fire engine
couples on to a hydrant. Pa call the
baby odd Number Two am Mum
ber One,' and if pa had hook and lad
| der truck, and hose cart, and fire
gong, he would imagine he was chief
engineer of the fire department. But
| the baby kicks on this milk wagon
milk, and howls like dog that's got
| LOST The doctor told pa the best thing
| he could do was to get goat, but pa
said since we 'nishiated him into the
Masons with the goat he wouid't have
| goat around no how The doc told pa
| the other kind Of goat, think it was
a Samantha goat he said, wouldn't kick
| with its head, and pa sent me up into
| the Polack settlement 10 see If | couldn't
borrow milk goat for a few weeks. |
| GOT woman to lend ME her goat till the
baby got big enough to chew beef for a
dollar week, and paid dollar in ad-
vance. and pa went up in the evening
Il, help me get the goat. Well, it was
| the darndest mistake you ever seen.
| There was TWO goats SO near alike you
| couldn't tell which was the chum of our
goat, but it belonged to Irish woman
We got bed cord bisched around the
| Irish goat, and that goat didn't recog
nize the lease, and when we tried to
| Jerk it along it rared right up, and made
things real quick for pa. don't know
what there Is ABOUT goat tnat MAKES IL
get so spunky, but that goat seemed to
| have grudge against pa from the first
If there were any places on pas manly
form that the goat did not explore, with
its head. pa don't know where the places
are. O it damned him, and when
laffed pa got mad. I told him every
| man ought to furnish his own goats
when he had baby, and I let go OF the
rope and started off, aud pa said he
knew how it was-I wanted him to get
KILLED. It wasn't that but / saw the
Irish woman that owned the goat com
| ing around the corner of the house with
la cistern pole. just. as pa was getting
| the goat out of the gate the goat got
crossways OF the gate, and pa yanked,
and doubled the goat right up, and l
thought he had broke the goats neck,
and the woman thought so too, for she
| iabbed pa with the cistern pole just be
low the belt, and she tried to get hold
on pa's hair, but he had her there. Nc
woman can get the advantage of pa that
way, cause ma has tried it. Well, pa
explained it to the woman, and she LET
pa off if he would pay her two dollars
for damages to her goat, aad he paid it
and then we took the nanny goat, anC
| it went right along with us. But have
! got my opinion of baby that will drink
goats milk. Gosh, il is like stuff thai
comes in a spoiled cocoanut. The baby
hasn't done anything but blate since the
nurse coupled it to the goat hydrant.
iIhad to take all my plsythiugs out of ths
basement to keep the goat from eating
them 1 guess the milk will taste o
powder and sipged hair now. The goa
got to eating some Roman candles MI
and my ehum had laid away in the Goa
bin, and che we'd them around the fur
mace, and the powder leaked out and
coal fell out of the furnace on the hearth
and yon,d died to see pa and the hlret
-lgirl and the goat. You see, pa can
milk nothing but milk wagon. and b
tgot the hired girl to milk the goat, AM
lthey were just hunting around the base