davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
PILES!PTLES!

A sure cure for Blind, Bleeding, Itching and
liberated Piles, has been discovered by DR.. Will
liam. ian Indian remedy called DR.. WILLIAMS 8
INDIAN OINTMENT. A single box has cured the
worst chronic cases of 25 years. standing. No
one need suffer five minutes after applying this
wonderful soothing medicine. Lotions and in
struments do more harm than gcas;;. Williams
Ointment absorbs the tumors, allays the intense
itching, particularly at night after getting warm
in bed acts as a poultice, gives instant and
painless rglief, and is prepared only for Piles,
itching of the private parts, and for nothing else
For sale by all druggists, and mailed on receir-
of price, 81. MOVES, BROS. & CUTLRP
Wholesale Agents, st. Paul, MINI. 215
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
TGJUe OF dSsOcidted PfeSs FTdllcItSeS.
lMinneapolis Journal.

Certain chaps who are hanging on the
outer edge of journalism, wearing out their
lives trying to keep rickety newspaper en-
terprises afoat, and who couldn't get an
Associated Press franchise for love or
money. are fond of asserting that such
franchises are worthless. But we notice
that the sharp, prosperous journalists put
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
River Division.
N-oz-

La Crosse, Dubuque, Rock
Island & st. Louis Exp.
Milwaukee & Chicago Ex. IT..
Milwaukee & Chicago Ex. ..
Wabashaw Accom-.
Iowa & Mimi. Division.
Sou. MINI. Ia. & Dav'pt Ex
Davenport Express.
Mason City& Kansas City g.
Hastings Il Dakota Div.
Aberdeen & Dakota Ex.
Shakopee & Prior Lake ex
Aberdeen & Dakota express
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
Assessment for Construction Of a Sewer
on Dale aad other streets.
OFFICE OF THE BOARD OF PUBLIC WORKS,
CITY OF ST. PAUL, Minn., Aug. 27, 1885,

The Board of Public Works in and for the cor
poration of the City of St. Paul, Mime
sofa, will meet at their Office in said
city, at p. m, on the 4th day
of September, A. D. 1883, to make assessment
of benefits, costs and expenses arising from the
construction of sewer on Dale street from the
north line of Holly avenue to the right of way
through blocks II ard %, Woodland park addi-
ton to st. Paul, thence along said right of way
to Summit avenne and thence across Summit
avenue to Oakland street, thence, on Oakland
street to the south line of Grand avenue in said
city, together with the necessary catch basins
and manholes on the property on the line OF
said sewer and benefited thereby amounting in
the aggregate to 81, ,742.
ALI persons interested are hereby notified to be
present at said time and place of making said
assessment and will be heard.
VIM. BARRETT, President pro TEN.
Official: r. L. GoRMAN,
Clerk Board of Public Works. 24O-241
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
Lake Elmo and saltwater Trains.


LEAVE MINNEAPOLIS,
I7:S0 m, 1880 am, 1880 m, f12:00rn, i1:sO pm
T4:SO F7:O0 p NJ.
LEAVE ST. PAUL.
T6:O0 am TS10 m, 1915 am, 10:15 m, i12:45 sro
= 15 O" r5:05 n and 7:45 p M.
LEAVE SALTWATER FOR ST. PAUL 4 MINREAFcl IL
7:S0 m t3:-0 m, i12:O9 m, *I1S pm, 1900 p n,
945 m, i7ds p m.
Daily. Except su ndays. Except Mondays
H- Tickets, Slee ping Gar Accommodations and
all information can be secured at
No. Is Nicollet House Block, Minneapolis,
j. CHARBONNEAU, Ticket Agent
Minneapolis depot, corner Washington and Fourth
avenue north. W. P. IVES, Ticket ARSnt.
Corner Third and Jackson streets, st. Paul
CHAS. H. PETSCH, City Ticket Ages
New Unioa Depot, foot of Sibley street,
KNEBEL & BROWN, Ticket Aaent0
Fl. E. HAYDEN, Ticket Agent, saltwater,
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
Northern Minnesota. Dakota G. NanltObi

Will find this the best and most convenient route
to the East, as connections are made in the Un-
ion Depot at Minneapolis, guarding against los.
of time
Remember, st. Paul passengers leave theUuion
Depot at 7:25 a. m. and $50 p. m, and leaveth
Union Depot at Minneapolis at $40 8. m. and
$50 p. m.
Fare always as low as by any other route, and
baggage checked through. Ask for your ticketI
viathis route, and be sure they read via Albert
sea and V est Liberty.
B. F. Mills, General Freight and Passerger
gent, B., r. & N. Railway.
A. II. Bode, General ratio Manager, II. & st.
-. Railway.
E. St. John, General Ticket and Passenger
Agent c., R. 1. & P. Hallway.
The, city Office of the Albert Lea Route H.
Minneapolis is at No. 8 Washington sveaue, op-
ite the Nicollet house, and in st. Paul at corner
Third and Sibley streers.
Daily globe., 1883-08-28

up their money boldly for Associated Press
franchises whenever they can get them.
One sold in Cincinnati short time ago for
$4,000.
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
REAL ESTATE.
YELLOWSTONE
Park.
LIVINGSTON, M. T.

The Denver of the Northwest-is the terminal
point of three divisions of the Northern Pacific
Railroad. Its located as the geographical cen
ter of that line. 1t has had a most marvellous
growth.
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
Chicago, 3,968,853 bushels;

Corn receipts in Chicago, 3,968, 1853 bushels;
shipments, 60l,3l7.
Year corn closed in Chicago at 1870.
May corn closed in Chicago at 47Ac.
Year oats closed in Chicago 26Mc.
May oats closed in Chicago at 29%c.
Year pork closed in Chicago at IL 80.
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
NJ. DORANS REPORTS.
WHEAT,

The following quotations, giving the range of
the markets during the day, were received by Ill.
Doran, Commission Merchant:
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
Cincinnati Whisky Marke

- CINCINNATI, Aug. 27.-Whisky firm al
lib.
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
THE DAILY GLOBE.
SEVEN ISSUES PER WEEK.
DAILY and SUNDAY GLOBE, ONE DOLLAE
PER MONTH.
SIX ISSUES PER wKEK-BY MAIL,

One month. 80 9(
Ihree months. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. 6t
Six mOnthS. Observation-Disclosures. "
Twelve months. ......................10 10
Daily globe., 1883-08-28

THE WEEKLY GLOBE is al eight-page paper
the same size as tia DAILY GLOBE. II is the
best paper for tse farmers in the State. It is
sent to any address, one year, postage paid,
FOR ONE DOLLAR AND FIFTEEN CENTS
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
ARRIVING TRAINS.
River Division,


Chicago h Milwaukee Ex..
Chicago & Milwaukee Ex..
Wabasha Accom-. 49,.
La Crosse, Dubuque, Rock
Island s. st. Louis Exp.
Iowa l. MINI. Division.
Mason City& Kansas City ex
Davenport Express.
Sou. Mimi, Ia. & Dav'pt Elk.
Hastings b Dakota Div.
Aberdeen & Dakota express
Shakopee l. Prior Lake ex.
Aberdeen b Dakota Ell.
A, means daily. O, ext
Saturday. f. except Mon
Additional trains between
lis, via "Short Line,n leave
particulars see Short Line
st. Paul-Chas. Thompso
Z. Third street. Bro own &
Union Depot.
Minneapolis g. L Scott
Z, Nicollet Houss. a.
Agel ! Depot,
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
Chicago. Milwaukee & st. Paul RaIIF8g
DEPARTING TRAINS.

Corrected up to July 1, ISS3
Arrival and departure of through nasf enca, trnIa
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
MINNEAPOLIS AND ST. LOUIS RAILWAY

ALBERT LEA ROUTE.
Leave st. Paul Ar StPsuI
Chicago Express ss........... 1920 am.
Des Noines & Kansas c. Ex %6:2O am
ST. Louis Through" Exp 1880 pm. 1920 nc.
Des AIoines s. Kansas G. Ex 1890 pm. t12;OO m
Excelsior and winthrop. 1870 pm 1890 m.
Chicago "Fast'' Express. 1920 pm. d7:3o am
daily, xdaily except Sunday, fdaily except Sat-
urday, 4daily except Monday. Ticket offices ST,
Paul corner Third and Sibley Streets E, A. Whita
ker, City Ticket and Passenger Agent. and Union
Depot. S. F. BOYD
General Ticket and Passenger Agent, Minneapolis
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
DEPARTING TRATNs.

Des Moines fast Express. e.
Chicago Day Express. ......
Chicago b Milwaukee Ex.. e.
Sioux City s Sioux Falls. q.
ShakoPee and Merriam Jet.
Omaha and Kansas City. ...
Green Bay and Appleton. ). q.
Shakopee and Merriam Jet.
North Wisconsin l. Superior
River Falls. .
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
CommissiensDaalers

The following are the quotations OF sales from
by commission men yesterday aud are subject
to daiIv 6uctnatiOns.
Daily globe., 1883-08-28

@ 4::50 a N 9 5:25 a u
O 1900 m . 1l'45 D m
4 700 pm A 7:N pn
% 800 pm O 3:35 . m
% 800 q m O $40 q n
% 4:30 pm O 4:30 q IA
E 600 pm E 7:10 . "a
% TAO q m O TOO Rn.
IC $3.50 pm @ 800 p N
4 7:35 pm | TOO o m
Arrive Arrive
st. Paul. Minnesp,lia.
Daily globe., 1883-08-28

Leave Lesys
Minneapolis st. PsEl.
Daily globe., 1883-08-28

;. A Sis a m A 7OORm
:. 0 z:25 p N O $40 p N
. O 9:55 a m o 1880 am
>. G 1920 p m G HOO pm
u 3 7;45 a m F $50 a T.
:. o 1923 a N O 1898 km
Z. o 6;56 p m O 7.0s
ssI A 7:so a m A 6soam.
<. @ 11:30 a m @ 1850 a u
10 ESQ p N O 6:25 o IN
xcept Sunday. z, eIcep
en- st. Paul and Minnespo
We both cities hour'7. Fog
Q timetable.
son. City Ticket Agent, Is2
B Knebel, Ticket Age1ts
tt, City Ticket Agent, Ea
B. I2zI iberiIn, Ti5aS.
Daily globe., 1883-08-28

Dining Cars on all trains to and fromIChicago, an
this is the only route that runs Dining Cars on al
Chicago trains every day in the week.
Daily globe., 1883-08-28

For three months on trial for 25 cents.
Alisubscriptiens payable invariably in advance
Address,
GLOBE PRINTING COMPANY.
st. Psul, Mion.
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
RAILROAD BONDS.

c. P. Bonds, t..11l36 o. P. land grant .108
Erie seconds. 90 Sinking fund. .Il715
Lehigh & Vest. .104 Tex. P. grant B.. 5215
st. P. &S. C. 1st .115 do Rio G. div. 75I
q. P. Bonds, Isl. .1123
Daily globe., 1883-08-28
Afternoon Board Quotations,

Stocks and bonds closed at the following
prices bid:
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1883-08-15

TIE Cooper FIGURING Mills At Erie, Pa, were
destroyed by fire on the I'd. Loss $25, 900.
A BUSINESS block at Macon, Ga, burned on
tho I'd. Loss about $S0, 900.
TnE Commercial Mills at Detroit, Mich,
burned on the I'd. Loss about $75000.
On the I'd, at Erie, Pa, Miss Mertle Peck en-.
gagged in a ten-mile race with Nine. Martha.
At the end Of the eighth mile in changing
horses she was thrown and received fatal in
juries.
A TEAM, frightened by passing train,
plunged into the river at Polk Street draw
bridge, Chicago H., IN the I'd. The occu.
PANTS Of the carrisge, James, Josephine and
Christina Bezey, were drowned.
A FIRE in the Lind Block, Chicago, on the
ID, damaged building and contents 830,0O0.
An express train was derailed near Newport,
Vt, on the LIST. Two parlor cars, one baggage
and one passenger car were wrecked. There
were fifty passengers aboard, fifteen of whom
were more or less injured, one, lady named
Derby, fatally.
A N1NE-YEAR,oLD son of Henry Siebel, Of
Taycheedab, was drowned in Lake Winnebago,
on the 31st.
THIRTY persons were poisoned by eating
almond favored ice cream at Columbus, s. c.,
on the LIST. Twelve became seriously sick.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1883-08-15

owning factories in Dover, N. H., Brocton,
Randolph, Rockland, Haverhill and Lynn,
Mass, failed on the Sd. Liabilities about
$500, 900.
The Higgins Block, 1t Minneapolis, contain
ing seven stores on the main floor, burned en-
the Sd. Loss on building and stock SAC, GOO.
On tho I'd W. w. johnson, Of Worcester,
Mass, who has been in California the past
three years, passed through Des Moines, L.,
On..his way home. He uses the 'prairie
schooner" as conveyance.
On the I'd another railroad war in passenger
rates between Chicago and st. Louis, was in
augurated, and the fare of 90 was reduced by
the Alton and Wabash to $3.50, 1T which rate
the Illinois Central has been selling for short
time.
TIE SOD Of Don Jose MeriI, of San Juan, N.
NJ, stolen two years ago by Apaches, was on
the I'd returned to his parents.
STEIN d TROUGH, of the Orchard FIGURING
Mills, Pottsville, Pa, failed on the Sd. Liabil-
tiles $4,000.
MYRoN ToP11FF, nine years old. was bitten
in the foot by rattlesnake, near Eaton Rap
ids, Mich, and died in few hours.
AUGUST STRANGER. Of Milwaukee, was killed
by jumping from hotel window at Galveston,
Texas, on the 1st.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1883-08-15
GENERAL.

The American rifle team returned to New
York city on the 9Th.
HARRIET BISHOP, the first white woman in
st. Paul, Mnn., died there on the 9Th. She
went there as mission school teacher in 1o42.
The past three months arms and ammuni-
tion to the value of &5,0t0,000 have been
shipped from Springfield, Mass:, via San Fran
cisco to China.
ABOUT 375 Cheyenne Indians, some of whom
were engaged in Che Custer massacre. left Fort
Reno, 1. T., on the 5th, for their new reserva-
ton at the Pine Ridge agency, Dakota.
GAS we'll was struck at depth Of ITS feet,
in boring for water ut the Waterman cheese
factory, near Woodstock, Ill
The committees appointed for the entertain
ment Of the G. A. R. at Denver, COL, during
the recent encampment, find bills to the amount
Of 1900 and no funds.
BRADLEY BARLOW, president Of the Vermont
National Bank, st. Albans, and largely inter-
ested in railroads, failed on the 9Th.
Brown BRos. 4 Co., lumber dealers, Detroit,
Mich, assigned ON the 9Th. Liabilities 4100, :
OOO. ....2.- 80. H. g. 1..s s@.~s :-s !.
HERpERr A. sIAnE, the Maori giant, WAS
badly whipped in fight with soft gloves, by
John L. Sullivan, in New York city, on the 9Th.
CHAs. W. GARMENTS, shoe manufacturer,
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1883-08-15
The Modern Temptation.


An architect and a reporter stood on
the roof of a fourteen-story fiat. "That
cluster Of houses over there" said the
architect, sis not Elizabeth, N. J. 1t
is the City of Mexico. That man on a
mule is o Mexican a!calde. Do you see
that blue line to the north? Bafin's Bay.
These are the Bermuda Islands. That
little islet to the south is Santo Domingo.
That smoke you observe comes from q
negro insurrection. Thetwo candidates
for President are fighting down there. %
care those hills the Jersey High
lands?"
mo; they are the Sierra Nevadas.
"That village to the southwest?'
"New Orleans"
"Beyond h?'
"rhe capital of Texas"
THAT black thread?"
"fte Mississippi River"
"The black speck out on the ocean
that crawls along so slowly?"
'J.y GouId's yacht. The black
specks going by it are sailing vessels.
"is that Hoboken over to the west?'
"Tbat is Chicago. You will soc
Hoboken away this stde.'
The reporter looked down over the
caves on the west side of the house and
saw Hoboken directly below.
The landlord had taken his man on 9
high pinnacle.
The devil VAS showing the reporter
the whole world.
"All these will I give you," eaid he,
:tif you will only put my name In thu
newspaper"
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1883-08-15
SPORTlN9.

s. G. GR1aas, JR, of Chicago, has
purchased the. schooner yacht Countess
from William Borden.
w. SNooK, of the Moseley Harrers,
won the ten-mile amateur championship
race in England, recently, in So minutes,
81 3-5 seconds.
IT is reported that J. I. Case, of
Racine, has purchased the PAGER john
son for $25, 900. The horse was jointly
owned by F.. 81. Smith, of Milwaukee,
and @. A. Mather, of Berlin.
A NAN namad Ferry left Dover at 8
o'clock on the morning of the 28th, on
floating tricycle., with the intention of
crossing the Eng glish Channel. He az
rived safely at Calais at s o'clock p. NJ.
A sK1FF race occurred at Lake Mime
tonka on the Sd inst. between George W.
Lee, professional oarsman, and William
Corbett. of the Exceleiors of Mime
apolis, for $25, half mile, straight away
and return. Lee was beaten by dozen
lengths.
j, I. CASE, of Racine, has bought the
bay pacing mare Gurgle by Tom Roll,
paying $4,000. She will be put to grass
the rest of the season, for q grand re-
entry next year. She is not only fast
side wheeler, but when weighted can
trot close to 2:30.
The Kalamazoo Telegraph states that
a pacing match for s.. 900 a side, best
three in five, mile heats. has been AZ
ranged between D. G. Reeds of Kala-
mazoo, Fannie Golddust, and Henry
Graves, of Chicago, Black Basenger.
The match is to come off over the Chi
cago track in September.
The regatta for single sculls at
Lake Miunetonka on the LIST inst.
Was rowed in heats, Teemer win
ming the first in 21:50, Lee com.
| ing in second in 21:58. The second
heat was won by Hanlan, Hosmer Sec
ond, Riley third; time 81 1881. The water
was choppy and stiff breeze was blow
| ing from the southwest, quarteriug
across the course. On the I'd inst. Han
| Ian won the deciding heat with ease.
RICHARD K. Fox has found an un-
known and first.class pugilist whe is
eager to fight, providing there is money
in it. He has every qualification neces-
sary to make a champion. He stands
5 feet III inches in height and in condi-
ton weighs 1876 pounds, is 28 years old,
has q stout neck which is set firmly on
q broad pair of shoulders, well-made
loins, long strong arms, muscular pair
of legs and formidable set Of ''msw-
leys'' which resemble set Of trip ham
mere.
TIE following table shows the stand
ing of the league clubs at the close of the
} games on the Sd inst:
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1883-08-15

over in such manner as to empty the
tobacco, which was lighted, on tho little
fellows head and shoulders. igniting his
clothing, and before discovered was f.
tally burned. The child died in q short
time.
SEVERAL farmers in the vicinity of
Long Prairie have lost young calves of
late from some cause unknown. The
calves die suddenly, seeming we'll -
usual only q short time before, and no
one can give the cause of the trouble.
TIE Euoch Arden case at Fergus Falls
has been decided, Mrs. Beanblossom or
Arnott chosing to stay with the man
with whom she has been living, and tho
legitimate but long. lost husband has left
that vicinity. Beanblossom called upon
a lawyer before his departure and wanted
q deed drawn up conveying all bis right
being told that could only be done BY
consenting to divorce awaiting the de-
cision of the courts, no legal paperswere
executed.
E. l.. SLINaERnAND, of Mantorville,
recently had a little experience with .
snake. While running his mower, he
had occasion to remove some obstEuc-
tions from the sickle bar, and while in
the act was struck at by q rattler having
two Emusic boxes" and q ''button." j"
After dispatching the reptile he noticed
q small wound on his hand that soon be-
gan to swell. After sucking the wound
assiduously he made liberal appliea-
tion of tobacco Zone of the uses for
which the weed is perhaps excusable),
and no serious results followed.
CAPT. WV. SnzxoNs, the noted her
NIT of Balsam Lake, was recently found
dead in the lake. He was standing in a
STOPPING position in mud and water
nearly up to his waist, with his hands
across his chest, and huge cash in his
forehead. Blood had also been run
ming from his ears. It's generally sup.
posed that he had been murdered and
after becoming stiff he was taken out
and stuck up in the mud and water.
WHILE the men were removing the
shinglers' ecafold from the Fergus Falls
paper mill, Nilsson Dobbs stepped
against a plank which gave way, pre-
cipitating him off the building. He
struck the edge Of the river bank in his
fall, and went from thence into the river.
The rapid current carried him several
feet down the stream, where he lodged
between two stones. He was saved from
drowning, but had sustained other seri-
Ous ipiuries
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1883-08-15

The Chicago Yacht Club races began
on the Sd with the race for first class
schooners, fine club cup. There were
three entries, the Idler and the Count
ess, of Chicago, and the Oriole, Of To-
ronto, The course was fifteen miles to
windward and return, to be sailed with
in seven hours or be declared no
race, The Idler was able to sail
closer to the wind than the
others, and turned the stake-boat first.
The Oriole came next, but drifted 80
much as to be compelled to make IN ex'
ira tack in order to round the stake
boat, thereby losing much time: The
Idler rounded in two hours and fifty five
minutes. On the return home all the
boats were becalned and had not reached
the harbor at 9 o'clock. so the race was
declared off,
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1883-08-15
MlNNEsOIA.

MINNESOTA.
The deficit of Dunn, the defaulting
treasurer of Watowan County, is sc, AS.
His bondsmen have offered so cents on
dollar.
The small pox expenses to the town
of Frankfort, Wright County, will sum
about $1,000. The epidemic has dis
appeared, and the quarantine has been
raised.
JAMES THOMAS, a well-digger at
Parker's Prairie, was buried by the
caving iii of earth, twenty feet below
the surface. He was dug out alive, and
will recover.
Ar the meeting of the Winona board
of education, Prot. William F. Phelps
was elected superintendent of schools in
place of Superintendent McNaughton,
resigned to 60 to Council Bluffs.
The Glyndon village and town special
election resulted in favor of Sc, 900 bonds
for public building to be owned and
used Jointly by the two municipal or
ganizations. The vote was four to one.
UNKNOWN parties broke into A. F.
Kavanagh's saloon at Verndale the other
night, poured out $3.50 worth of liquors,
and cut the tops of his pool tables to
pieces, inflictiDg $500 worth Of damage.
JOHN CAMPAN, proprietor of variety
theater in Duluth, known as the Crystal
Palace, has decamped, leaving creditors,
among when are his actors and actresses,
with claims amounting to $1,000. His
place has been seized by his creditors.
The man Conklin, in jail at Brainerd
for robbery, is wanted for robbery in
Chippewa Falls, Wis. It is also believ-
ed that Conklin was in heavy robbery
at Winnipeg recently, the haul being
$2,s0O, concerning which Sheriff Mertz
hss written the authorities.
Mr.. SENE1CK, OF Haverhill, has a Gu
rios1ty in the shape of . calf that was
born without eyes, and has no tail, its
backbone extending no farther than its
hips, ard it ia otherwise deformed. It is
Eve weeks old, and is growing nicely, is
nearly white, only having a black spot
in the forehead.
In Window the de pot was eDteredand
an effort was made to break open the
safe, but was not successful. The mail
pouch was ripped open and the mail
matter scattered around; express pack
ages were opened, bat nothing missing.
The City Hotel and the Hyatt House
were also visited and eatables taken.
ST.. CLOUD Times: A man named
Connolly, of Clearwater, in q mistake
the other day psid Benton Polander a
500 bill instead of q $40 note. The
Polander had the bill changed at Boyd'a
before leaving town. Upon discovering
his loss Connolly went out with an Off.
cor, but the Polander would not give up
the money.
ArWo YEAR-o1D son of Jackson Leach,
of Anoka, while playing at neighbors,
saw pipe laid up on window, and II
little while succeeded in getting hole
oft. AS he touched it the pipe turnet
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1883-08-15
How the Farm Help We're Tired Out.


''The help We get nowadays don't
help you hired in haying time could do
decent days work, but this year
they're wurs'n ever"
Old Farmer Smith was getting in hay
at his farm in a suburban town, and had
two or three new men at work with him.
The old man continues: "Tell you
what it ie; old as I am 1 can pack
more hay on to q wagon than any two
men of the present day can fork up"
"Suppose you try it, old man." sug-
gested one of the men ut the same time
tipping the wink to his mate on the
opposite side to t'sock it" to the old man.
The old fellow needed no second invi-
tation. With q bound he mounted the
cart, and was stowiug away hay at a
tremendous rate. Up came forkful after
forkful, first on one side and then upon
the other. The 'Ielp" was putting in
its best icks and the old man was kept
| squirming around in lively style, much
to the amusement of all hands.
The ''help" was rapidly getting tired;
it would never do to give up and allow
the old man to come off victorious.
Something must be done at once.
s'When put up heavy forkful on
this side, give him all you can lift from
the other end, and knock him out, said
one of the men to the other in an under
tone.
The plan worked we'll. One of the
men lifted an extraordinary big forkful
just putting it upon the edge of the load
and, while the old man was leaning over
endeavoring to get it in place, the fellow
on the other side threw all he could lift
upon the back of the old fellow, which,
OF course. upset bin and sent him sprawl
ing to the ground.
"Hello? what are you down here for?'
asked help No. 1, endeavoriDg as well
as he could to conceal his merriment.
Quick as a flash from the old man
came the answer: "After more hay?"
This answer tired the help completely.