National Republican., 1883-01-23

To your grandam of the hoary head,
To any one but me.
The door is not used to be open-ed
With cigarette for key"
Life.
EDDIE Shock, of st. Louis, blew into his
gun to see ifit was loaded, he said.
The Denver Republican describes u saloon
as "a place where calamity Juice is dealt out.n
MONTREAL. Frank Pretty - cashier
church member-fast liying-embezzlement--
vanished.
A BoNFIRE built on hillside near Troy.
to celebrate Garfelds election Is still burning,
having communicated with bed of coal be-
meath.
HUMAN skeletons are imported from abroad
very largely. Although they are subject TO n
good round duty yet the foreign article is cheaper
tnan the homemade.
THE widely spread rumor that Mrs. Theo-
dore Tlton has been Obliged to become a nurse in
order to procure n livelihood, is untrue. tbs
probably Mr. Theodore Tilton.
OVERHEARD in the cloak room: "Did she
marry well 2" Yes, indeed He's worth over n
million and drinks so hard that he never can 20
Into society, so she's not bothered with him"
AN Ohio minister is charged with opening
prayer at Monday evening class meeting In
this iashion: o Lord, Thou hast seen in the
morning papers how the Sabbath was desecrated
yesterday"
NINE dogs of various forms, sizes, colors,
dispositions, five monkeys five parrots an owl, two
pairs of love birds canary, and spider aro
among the proteges of the arstes of Her Maesty's
Opera company
IT IS said that Mrs. Da Ponte of New Or.
leans, has gone to Washington for the purpose OF
selling to the United States the original parch.
ment draft of the confederate states constitution
for S30,000-ifshe can.
MAYORS differ in grammar, as for instance:
Mayor Low, of Brooklyn, describes that city by
the pronoun she. Mayor Edison, of New York
calls the metropolis 1t, while Carter Harrison In.
sists upon putting Chicago in the masculine
DURING the past five years 24O0 divorces
have been granted in the state of Maine. This IA
q ratio of about one divorce to every ten mar
ringes The remarkable part Of 1t is that the cause
OF divorce in many instances was drunkenness.
THERE is an undcrgrown lad in New York
who has been the faithful nurse ofa feeble mother
ever since he was years of age, and in the twelve
years of his devotion he has never spent more
than half an hour at a time outside of the dark
| ened chamber.
| Mr. w. w. AsToR, tho American minister
to Rome has organized an American club in that
city for the purpose of arordng facilities to visit
| ors. The rooms of the club house aro well fur
nshed, andsinclude reading, billiard, card, dress,
and conversation rooms.
MISSOURI bee raiser has Just transferred
! his l50 hives TO Florida that his bees may keen
busy all the winter in that land of flowers; and
on the Mississippi there are bee boats that carry
hives up and down that river TO keep pace with
the blooming of flowers.
| A DELAWARE man named Longfellow has
NNtsan nN,vn nsaI,N 4.
his own, employing female teacher as instruct
ress. When his wife died he improved on his
educational scheme by marrying the lady tutor
Longfellow is long headed fellow.
THERE are 1457 theatres in Europe. Italy
heads the list with 3is; next comes France, with
337; Germany, 1914; Spain, 100; Great Britain, l5O
Austria and Hungary, 1872; Russia "A; Belgium
81 Holland, % Switzerland, 20; Sweden and
Norway, 49, Portugal, 16; Denmark, 10; and Tur-
key and Greece each.
A COFFEE house has been opened In Com
stantinople as q center Of gospel work. on lis
outer walls is printed in Arabic: "Come INTO me
all ye that are heavy laden, aud will give you
rest" 1t has lady director who speaks four
languages, Within two months It has sold moro
than hundred Bibles testaments, and psalms.
BLooDGooD II. CUTTER, an eccentric man,
who is known as "the poet laureate of Long
Island" attracted attention while sleigh riding in
New York the other day. His sleigh was drawn
by pTancing mule and venerable horse. Clad
in pair of hgh-topped Napoleon boots and n
coat of many colors, the smiling poet laureate
looked the picture ofinnocenoe abroad.
A BOSTON girl answered the advertisement
Of a Georgia gentleman who desired to correspond
with young lady Of culture and refinement.
Several letters passed between them, when she be-
came ennmored of the gentleman that she
started South TO marry him. On her arrival she
discovered that he was n dOrSey. This illustrates
the rapid strides made by the negro race since The
close of tho war.
A NEWSPAPER in Bloomington, ILL.,, says
Vice President David Davis has addressed letter
to an intimate friend in that city stating that
after the fourth Of March next, he expects to re.
turn 10 his home In Bloomington, and devote his
entire time and attention to his private business
afairs, During the past year he has purchased
some valuable farm property throughout central
Illinois, and the vice president seems anxious to
make the land still more valuable by additional
improvements. lie intends TO make visit to Eu-
rope next summer, and will be accompanied by
his niece, Mrs. p, V, Pierpont, of Chicago, DUR
ing the past two years 1t said Senator Davis has
made $1,000 in real estate speculahons.
A INDUSTRIOUS story, or a story of monstrosi-
ty--" you pays your money and sou takes your
choice comes from Belleiountane, Ohio. Solo,
mon Yoder an inmate of the inilrmary last week
week yielded up the ghost and departed to that
cline where lime dust is not found aud old blan-
kets do not aboundi and just what the aesthetic
Solomon will subsist upon is past finding out
Aher death Il post mortem wns held which
developed the fact that his inlestines were com.
pletely impacted with all kinds of foreign sub
stances. For twelve years he would cat anything
that he could cram down his throat He first
commenced eating the plastering from the wall Of
his room, swallowing whole sheets of IT, until 1t
, became necessary to cover the wall with sheet
iron. number Of times no was found nearly
sunocated, with piece Of blanket or cloth hang
ing from his mouth, which would develop IN n
strip yard or two long when pulled out In his
bowels were found plaster dirt, rags, and mass
of stuff that caused Inflammation aud morlifoa-
tlOn,