The Labor enquirer., 1883-01-27
STRAYED OR STOLEN.

d Hat irony.
Three periods of life Youth mumps;
piddle age, bumps old age, dumps.
Wife Did you stop at the faiI,?n Hub
81 Far'n yes Awful expensive place." !"
! Why is your elder brother like the
grass in the field? Because he's past
] courage. .ss.
z The way that General Jubal Early be-
came great man was by going to bed
Early and getting up Early. F..
E; The new French rife will carry over
Two miles and the bullet will travel
nearly as fast as scandal.
n Some housekeepers are so constitu-
tionally wasteful the more -four they
3 have the more they knead..
Glass eyes for horses are now made so
perfect that the animals themselves can
mot see through the deception.
Is To Mrs. Langtry.-"R Return the money
taken at the door and all will be for
giyen." n."-The public in Chicago Tribune.
r. Nothing like being well up in arithne-
tic A Vassar college girl has gone into
half mourning. 1t was for half brother.
Eldest daughter (aged ten)-"I wonder
what made ma marry pc? He is not at
all the sort of man l should have cared
for.
A little girl, on being told that an older
sister was only half-sister, mournfdlly
asked, "When will she be my whole sis
,ter?"
A burglar got into the house of an
seditor the other night. After a terrible
struggle the editor succeeded in robbing
j him.
- A man in Cincinnati stabbed another
because he did not like his dancing.
Snch criticism may be unjust, but it is
effective.
81 If you can't spell correctly, write such
"a miserable fist that nobody can tell
whether you have spelled the word
properly or not.
Riches and religion are not incompat-
ible, only man does not want to have
too much religion in the way while he
is getting riches.
A western paper announces that upon
the occasion of recent boiler explosion
4 in the neighborhood "between three and
four men were killed."
Fogg, who had been fed on pie for a
day or two, informed his landlady that
he was not fond of pasteboard. Fogg
was given his walking papers.
"Pa, why do you call 'em high schools ?'
''It's because we pay SO much for 'em,
my son. You'll understand these things
better when you get to be a payer"
A Chicago girl said she. couldn't re-
member the number of her shoes, and
then got mad because somebody said it
was good deal to tax ones mind with
The Pullman train hadn't run Imore
than ten miles before the robbers
headed it. "You're lucky" said one of
the passengers to the leader of the gang,
L the porter hasn't been through the car
yet"
The great grammatical conupdrum-
EThe United States are, or the United
States is"-New Haven Register. Let
us remark that she has been, and perad-
venture they will be, and drop the sub
ject.-Elmira Free Press.
A gentleman somewhat advanced in
life, and who was never remarkable fo1
his good looks, asked his grandchild what
he thought of him. The boys parents
were present. The youngster made no
reply "Well, why don't you tell me
what you think of me?" cause don't
want to get licked" was the answer.
An Arkansas editor, in retiring from
the editorial control of a newspaper
said: -"E is with feeling of sadness
that we retire from the active control OF
this paper; but we leave our journal with
a gentleman who is abler than we are,
financially, to handle it-a gentleman
= we'll known in this community. He is
the sheriff"
A COW that wore bell having been
run over and killed on railroad, the