Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1883-03-01
Der Bcnsh und der Fritz.
go wad some Power the gIf tie gic US
To sec ourScls as others see us;
1t wad frae monte a biundcr free us!
An foolish notion"

Recently an attache or the JOURNAL
Office made visit to n friend during
which Substantially the following tetc-d-
tetc took place. For convenience we
will call the friend Judge, a very fitting
name, though not in an official sense.
Our man we designate as Reporter, for
that surely sounds hifalutim enough,
while the hired man present may figure
rs Sam.
| T'EIE-A-TETE
| Reporter. Good day, Judge, glad TO see Nou.
For some time l WAS anxious TO escape for
| day from mcessant work and business, ana
spend the Tine ut Your hoSptablc home IN
| quiet rest and easy conversation.
Judge. Right gad to sec you, Mr.. Reporter.
Welcome. 1t is \ real relief, once in II while to
receive visitor simply as ylSitor-I mean one
| that has no business 10 harrass and vcx fel.
low. Come In and feel nj home sam, put MIR.
Repol ter's horse away, and see to II that he Is
| we'll cared for.
| sam. Trust me for that, boss. But may De
an auditor your conference?
| j. Yes, sam, There Is nothing urgent Tor
YOU to do, you may come in. Well, Mr.. lie
|
have had quite lively times over the Holiday
| season?
R. Yes, and even before aud since. The d Q
dication-the festival-several musical conven-
| tlons-conccrtS and what not, have given rs
such contiauous round OF festivities that
| fellow Is glad To get out into the coHutry oc-
casonally, TO enjoy the calm influences OF rural
| solitude.
IT, Yes, yes, see. Mllhelm Is city in all
but size and population. 1t always WAS fusSy
town aud does its best to keep up the oldtime
reputation. But how is our friend Ben | see
the JOURNAL and the Reporter are making the
fur fly quite lively.
II. Ben is we'll and cheerful, only little |
oyerworked sometimes His many trades keep |
him very busy.
J. I am really surprised that Ben plunged |
into such IN ugly and protracted fght with [,
kurtz. 1t is not his usual style, for he has \ |
peaceabe disposition Nor do see for the life !
OF me what all II Is good FOR.
e. Don't Judge Ben too harShly. He has |
suffered Freddy's coarse and vulgar abu sc, as
Well as his mean, low filings and nSinuatons
ever since he (Ben) took charge Of the old Be
richter. Fred never darkened the door of the
JOURNAL Office; never had Kind word for US
at any time, but always and in every way tried |
10 injurc aud belittle the JOURNAL with all that
hangs around and about it. Why Judge, il |
would 20 into detailsfnd tel you OF the low
tricks and dark ways he resorts 10 10 get all the
printing OF our county Officers; the contempt |
ible means he uses to get jobtmg, advertising !
and subscribers, you would be surprised. Be
sides this Freddy as usual began this fight by !
far fetched and unproiessIonal attack on Ben's |
political status. Freddy IS clearly the agGrcS-
sor, while Ben is ON the defensive
s. think however that Ben has completely |
turned the tables and thrown Fritzy the de- |
fensive. Ben is decidedly the upper dog iE the |
fight, thus far, Ard not likely TO lose his place.
j. What both OF YOU say may Ill bc true.
know that much OF it Is true, and yet can not |
exactly justify Ben. Both are men OF So:.e |
prominence 10y reason of their positions as
editors, and might employ their talents more |
prodtably than 10y throwing mud at each other.
The cause OF morality which both pretend TO !
advance, Ito say nothing OF religon) must GER
tainy suffer by such course Don't you think |
50 too?
IL. To come down to fundamental principles
Judge, you are about right. But waving that |
point, who do you think has the best OF the /
fight, rs far rs the returns are in?
J. As far as THAI is concerned there is no
question that Ben is many lengths ahead In tho |
race. There is some force in his articles, while
i'll sarcasm and irony kurtz is no match for him
at all. Ben has fired some solid shot broad |
sides Squarely into the hulk Of the Reporter.
which Kurt vainly tries to dodge by his usual
dull and pointcss wit.
s. He simly Kisses "SauSagcS' and "ponhosS'
lollS solomon and grunts Jumbo" These
are his heavy arguments-his mastery defense.
But this is exactly on a par with his general
STYLE His editorials are the nereSt relI, ell Of
other mems ideas, and remind me OF an old
COW chewing the cud-thc same thing over and
, over. A fellow might read "thc great and good
Reporter for years without becoming one whit
the wiser or better for it and what he no doubt
considers fine wit is simply nauSeating stuff.
FritZy should never soar above the very plain
est and simplest style, Tor example something
! like the school boys first composition: "Ide
rutter be an or nor horse
j. You seem to have n rather low opinion OF
Kurtz's EDITORIAL abilities. sam.
S. Certainly have. He never should have
| tried to edit 4 paper, Nature has denied him
even the primary qualifications and as to his
acquired attainmentS they are hardly worth
mentioning. Some such trade rs shoemaker
| rather cobblcr-would have been better suited
to his mental capacity.
j. But why particularly cobbling?
8. Well, he would have a big advantage over
| the common average OF cobblers.
j. and r. What advantage
8. Why he would never need 10 buy any
| briStteS. Whenever in need of them he could
just reach on his back any time and pull them
| out ::
II, That Will do, Sam, you may take tie
| prize!
J. But what is the real cause, Mr.. Reporter,
OF the deep animosity between Kurtz and Ben?
r. Business jealOusy-"HdndlCerkS
! is at the bottom of it all. Frcddy'S graSping
| covCtousnesS is boundleSs. lie thinks "the great
and good Reporter should have al the county
printing, all the job work, all the "crculation,"
He actually shed tears on a certain occasion,
on failing as he sometimes does, to get GER
| tain job OF county printing. The JOURNAL is
| in his way and is constantly growing in public
favor. That's what hurts and bothers Freddy
| more than Ben'S politics. He thinks by.cO Min
uay bowling "abo!itioniSt," republican"
''hater of democracy" he can bring odum on
| the Journal and njure its business These
| are the frozen facts in the case.
j. IT'S a real pity that Penn's Valley isn't
! large enough to hold two such big men rs Kultz
and Ben. Kurtz had better buy out some such
paper as the NeW York Herald or the Pbila-
depha Times. 1t would afford him wider