New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1883-10-12
4 PUBLISHERS WOES.
A SHORT PERSON IN A TwO.CENT FRAME
OF MIND.

A SHORT PERSON IN A TWO.CENT FRAME
OF MIND.
short person with q stubby reddish-gray
card sat in dark private office yesterday after
noon in newspaper building Printing House Square
The building will be recognized at when 1t Is said
| that its color 10 that of fossil pumpkin pie.
lie wore a troubled expression, but when an acquaint
ance eneted he looked cheerful as possible which
was not cheerful cheerful man would have looked
| who was ia a cheerful frame OF mind
"HoW are you getting along since you reduced The
Times to two cents :" asked the visitor 30 horrb-no
no, splendidy, splenddly You've no idea. Our circu
lation has increased wonderfully. I'm going to print
statement in few days showing that the circulation
has quntuped-no, l guess I'll make It yingtupled-
| twenty times, you know mean" he added, little
hurrsdy, "that think by that time the circulation will
have increased twenty times. All genuine gain, too
here there was touch OF anxiety In hts voice "Of
! course, The Times wouldn't make statement that
wasn't strictly Go awayl Send that wagon away
WHAT In the name OF coWmon does that man come
| here In the day time fOrP
BY this time the short man was on his feet, braudish
| ing his wildly. and showing great excitement.
| The visitor turned aud saw Delaware and Lack
express wagon loaded full and high with copies
OF The Ne,o. York Times clerk poksd his head In cry
ES, cone dealer sends back 100 cOpea Can't sell EN-"
| (FacL)
"wel, what does he bring EN- for when all the
newspapers themi" cried the rato short per-
papers the dealers can't sell TO be taken to the up
town Office. and brought here at night SO those
| Tribune liars won't lind IL out"
By this time he was I'm prOnOuDcedtTo-ccnt remorot
| Indignation. And Just he seemed to recolect the
presence Of his visitor another wagon drove up
alongside Of the nst and crash the spring broke There
pile OF unstable copies Of The Times on this
wagon twelve long seven feet wide and eight feet
high. (FactJ II the short person was excited be-
fore he simply OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
estuated
"Therei" said he. "That comes Of putting two OF
those Humorous Articles into the paper Nosct Of
springs could stand It! You see" said be, growing
little camer have those Humorous Articles written
in continuous roll and the papcroyeeted every thirty
inches and when one just tear 1t Oh KS
An iaes OF Grs-hr's quite a mechanic Graduated in
the prcssrOOm and has received degrees from most OF
the leading pressrooms Of the country He's going to
get patent tae idea. Aud somebody went and put
OF the articles IN the paper That's one lucOn.
yeuicnce, now and then. OF having no editor"
NO editori" asked the other IN surprise.
80 yes, don't you remember some years ago We
announced that shouldn't have an editor any more
Il was an idea OF CHS. Gil has made thorough study
OF journalism the prc,s-room, aud he said be believed
the paper would come every day n there wasn't any
edtCr at ALL 80 we tried u. but persuaded Gil not to
Try get patent tho idea Tho paper has come out
every DAY. though don't mind saying TO you a. friend
that she woD5les and then the editorial page to
extent that even Oh can't account for, aud Gis quite
a mechanic"
The door opened again, and a clerk came IN. ono.
room 10 put those returned papers IN said be Dru,quey
| Easements fun now Here's an Offer from that junk.
dealer who took 10000 copies yesterday dacu for
10000 Al tue price. Glcaa we'd better take
! the lot"
The short person was By this time simply gaspms.
Tho visitor kindly aud dlscreety affected not to nave
heard anything. Ho looked out az the city Hall toun
tain uad wA.sued little softly. The short person
nodded % tho clerks, then hcmuei and hawsd few
! umcs. Finally be said: Well, may well admit
That there defect In the working OF our reduction
plan That Is, tAat large pars OF our circulation bee
| gus AID ends Ia the basement"
! "IdJn't quite understand said the visitor.
"Wsu-4neuI You soc We print the paper IN the base.
msuI'-aud here the short person had severe ht OF
CouEhns"sud a'goOd many thousand are brought back
after unsOd aud put back In tue basement Yes he
continued u rather melancholy voice, % suppose we
have tue largest basement circulation OF any paper in
Se1YUTk and guess everybody would believe II with~
out an All iayt from the publisher. Now the problem is
how to get tho papers Of the basement because
basement circulation while II may crafty Gls mechah'
| iC4I pude-aud GIis quite northumberland strictly
speaking, very profitable TO the stockholders SOTO
draw buyers got up what call our crime page
| We make q specially Of sugsug matches, aud
divorces, and scduc,lons and other things taat
I wont meutiou"-zud here just a FAINT hu,h
seemed tho short persons face" ana we
It all the nrst page and pretty nasty reading
mean makes delightful reading Tor the family Circle
just thIu you Ike to see in The hands OF your girls
and boys" And the short per5Onn stared over the
gcutlcmau's head
Isuppose you reduced your prco because the paper
wasn't paying well enOughF
90, nO-no, not all all We reduced 1t because the
paper was making too much money. You've forgotten
the editorial in which announced the change.
We said tnen that The Tunes had never been 81 rich and
50 profitable"
well, tTsu said the visitor, who was fatcd to blum
der interview over tha's great change
for you from few years ago when Governor Morgan
was going about trying 10 ge! some Of the trust
companies capitalists to advance money on your
notes 80 that you could buy on that fellow JsnningA
The sDort person II little confused "Ihe Tunes
WAS never so RICH" he murmurod We really didn't
want TO be any rlcner. That was ALL
Just then tho periodical cgrk appeared Heres
Richardson Murphy and Hopper aud Fitzgerald and
Mehrten and Orr" said he, and whole lot more OF
the new sdeaers representatives They say they hear
The price because was so rlch' ana
that you only gave them 80 for their meeting and
they're going here every day for $40 more
which they think Is least such rich paper can do for
them and they want know whom you're going 10 give
them decent profit on their papers, ana -
A scene eusued which would better not be described
The ce plgatey tao noWsde@ers retired
-prudently, aud the friend retred-puzzled Aud as
the short person sank exhausted into mis- chair, he
sald in faint voice: III got Gil 10 put new lock on
that door CHS quite mechanic"
THE CONDUCT or BISHOP RILEY