The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-04-08

over 30. and hear you hSvnt reached 40
yet" They never met again.
A St, Louis woman, after transScting a
LOT OF shopping N town, alleged as reason
Tor hurying to the return train that shs
had an e1ertion ticket and it perspired to
night"
The question is asked us II there is any.
thing that viii bring youth To women
l es, there Is An income Of say 5000 will
bring any number OF them.-l Rochester
Post-Express.
A southern journal SAYS there are three
seasons IN Florida-,he orange, vegetable.
and invalid, the last paving the best. In
the summer the Floridians live on vans
and sngar-cane, aud in the winter on
Yankees.
When mau is dismissed from employ
ment he always has a good deal to say
against his late employers. A man, in tact,
Is hSea gun. HemakeS great noise when
he'ls discharged Boston Transcript,
81 am native American citizen, born,
4elabers, in this country said MIR. Null
doom, ~ a recent political gathering, aud
II We diSbelieye II come around home and
VIII show We me naturalization paphrrs,-
THE Judge.
y. meets one OF his friends on the Boule.
vard. How are you. old boy?' he cried.
Your sou-ip.law has returned from his
voyage. IL appears that he did not die on
the way" y, coldly, II have not not
heard him say
Did you ever shake hands with besut-
iul girl aOout - years OF age, who, instead
of letting her hand lie in yours like sick
fish, gives you good, hearty grasp9 II
you have, you know what solid comfort is.
Il Rochester Express.
why do women so often wander aim.
lesSly in the murky solitudeS OF the dead
past brooding over days forever gomez
ASKS a correspondent, and We give IL up,
unless 1t be that abe hopes BY ransackiug
the dead past TO find that in the wardrobe
OF the aforesaid dead past she may find
something TO 1rk upinto 4 rag carpet.
Scene, editorial rooms; Enter distin.
gulshed yiSitor--"Allow me to look through
your exchanges moment" Scissors
ueud-"With pleasure. ! think you can
look through ths one quite easily. I've
cut seventeen articles out al it, "Nes,
yes, thanks; but can borrow window
sash at any carpenter shop, - Hartford
Post.
A sChool-toacher asserts that scholars
who have access to newspapers at home
outstrip those IN their studies who do not
see the papers, becoming better readers
and spoilers, better grammarians, ami
wrillhg the best compositions, besides
learning geography and history quicker.
Now is the titae to subscribe. - TPhiladel.
phia News.
The attempt TO blow up the London
Times with dynamite did not succeed be.
cause one of the editors had Just finished a
two.colnmn editorial on The Negation of
Philosophy which was lying on his desk
at the time. 1t will require o more power
full agency than dynamite to blow up u
building held down by such u weight
[Noristown Herald.
Briggs had pair of legs that bowed fear
fully, but he has only one now. A cannon
ball took away the other. He has worn an
artificial leg so long that he has become
quite used to it. Indeed, he said the other
day that it was almost as good as the nat
ural limb that IL supplanted. And that
villain Fogg had the meanness to remark,
Never heard before that you ever had
natural limb, Briggs. ~ Boston Transcript.
Why Hobson objected: "llobSon," said
Muggins, they tell me you've taken your
boy away from the graded school. What's
that ior?' Cause" said Hobson, "tho
master amt fit 10 teach MIN" ooh, SAID
Muggins, "l'ye heard he's a very good
master" well" replied Hobson, apollo.
ge,iCallY, "all ! knows is no wanted to
teach my boy to spell Eaters with 'p.'"
-INewberne North Carolina) Journal.
A select prize.hght took place night or
two ago in n Bowery cellar, New York City.
Fourteen rounds were fought, and one OF
the contestants had his face pounded TO 8
jelly. The affair was kept very quiet. The
manager said let it once be known prize.
fight is to take place and every official in
the city will insist on free pass, and
where's your profit Rochester Post tx
press,
A nice young man thought he had found
something pure and fresh In the shape OF II
laughing little witch OF = girl and was on
the point OF proposing marriage when she
scattered his fond hopes 10 the winds by
remarking one evening: You kiss and
hug me moro than any gentleman | am
acquainted, except Bill Wallace, aud he is a
baggage-smasher, and only comes here
once month,
gentleman admires charming
woman, over whose head the swarms OF
seventeen-year locusts have passed at least
thrice. But say, says one OF his friends,
she's very charming, | know: still you
must admit that she is wrnkled ="
"Wrinkled!" echoes the chivalrous lover.
mo sir, there may be the indelible i'm.
pressions of u smile upon her face here and
there, but that is ALL"