Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1883-03-22

and Only a Paii OF SOiu Wutef ShNe'
Him from Becoming n Burnt Offer
Ing.
From Pecks sun.
''Ha! ha! Now have got you" said
the groceryman to the bad boy the Other
morning, as he came in and jumped up
on the counter and tied the end of bal
of Irvine To the tail of dog, and ''sick-
ed" the dog on another dog that was
following u passing sleigh, causing the
Irvine to pay out until the whole ball
was scattered along the block. Con
denim YOU; I've notion to choke the
liver out of you. Who tied that Irvine
To the dogs tailp"
The boy choked up with emotion and
the tears came into his eyes, and he
said he didn't know any thing about the
Irvine or the dog. He said he noticed
the dog come in and wag his tail about
the Irvine, but he supposed he was Il
friend of the family. and did not disturb
him. Everybody lays everything that
is done TO me-" said the hoy, rs he put
his handkerchief TO his nose, land they
will be sorry for it when ! die. have
Il good notion to poison myself by eat
ing some of your cincose soap
Eyes, and you do about everything
else that is mean. The other day lady
came in and told me to send up 10 her
house some of my country sausages.
done up in muslin bags, and while she
was examining them she noticed some
thing hard inside the bags, and asked
me what it was, and opened it, and
hope TO die if there wasn't little brass
paddock and piece of red morocco dog
collar imbedded in the sausage. Now,
how do you suppose they got in there?"
and the groceryman looked savage.
The boy looked interested, and put
on IN expression as though in deep
thought, and finally said, Il suppose
the farmer that put up the sausage did
not strain the dog meat. Sausage meat
ought To be strained.
The groceryman pulled in about half
a block of Irvine, after the dog had run
against n fence and broke il, and told
the boy he knew perfectly well how the
brass paddock came to be in the sausage,
but thinking it was safer to have the
good will of the boy than the i'll will he
offered him handful of prunes.
NO." says the boy, II have swore
off on musty prunes. | am no kinder
garten any more. For years have eat
en- rotten peaches about this store and
everything you couldn't sell. but | have
turned over Il new leaf now, and after
this nothing is too good for me. Since
pa has got To be an inventor we are 90
ing to live high.
whats your pa invented? saw n
hearse and three hacks go up your street
the other day and | thought maybe YOU
had killed your pa.
Not much. There will be more than
three hacks when ! kill pa, and don't
you forget it. Well, sir, pa has struck
II fortune if he can make the thing work.
He has got ali idea about coal stoves
that will bring him in several million
dollars, if he gets a royalty of So on
every coal stove in the world. His idea
is To have coal stove on castors with
the pipe made TO telescope out and in.
and rubber hose for one joint, so you
can pull the stove all around the room
and warm any particular place. Well.
sir, To hear pa tell about il YOU would
think it would revolutionize the coun-
try. and maybe it will when he gets it
perfected, but he came near burning
the house up this morning and scared
us all half to death, and burned his
shirt of. and he is all covered with
cotton with sweet oil on, and he
smells like salad dressing. You see
pa had Il pipe made and some cas-
tors put on our coal stove, and he tied
a rope to the hearth of the stove, and
had me put in some kindling wood and
coal last night. so he could draw the
stove mp to the bed and light the fire
without getting up. Ma told him he
would put his finger in it, and he told
her TO dry up and let him run the stove
business. He said il took man with
brains 10 run a patent right. and ma she
pulled the clothes over her head and let
pa do the fire act. She had been build
ing the fires for 20years and thought she
she would let pa see how good it was.
Well, pa pulled the stove to the bed and
touched off the kindling wood. guess
maybe got bundle of kindling wood
that the hired girl had put kerosene on,
cause il blazed up awful and smoked,
and the blaze burSted out the doors and
windows of the stove, and pa yelled
fire, and jumped out of bed and rush.
ed in and he was the scarest man you
ever see, and you'd aided to see how
he kicked when | threw pail of water
ON his legs and put his shirt out. Ma
did not get burned, but she was pretty
wet, and she told pa she would pay the
50 royalty on that stove and take the
castors off and let it remain stationary.
Pa says he'll make it work if he burns
the house down. think il was real
mean in pa to get mad at me because |
threw cold water on him instead of
warm water to put his shirt out. If
had waited till could heat water TO
the right temperature l would have
been an orphan and pa would have been
burnt offering. But some men always
kick at everything. Pa has given up
business entirely and says he shall de-
vote the remainder of his life curing
himself of the different troubles that ]
get him into. He has retained doctor
by the year, and he buys liniment by
the gallon"