New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1883-05-02


sable. The self denial Of these Ameri
can husbands is as well known as it y
commendable.
An Editorial Poet. *
The conversation in the editorial bou
DOR, when the entire staff Is present
sometimes takes wide range, and fire.
quently contains food for thought similar
to that found in the London letters
printed in the New York journals. Such
was the case one day recently.
- have about come to the conclu-
sion, !" said the Political Professor,
scratching a confidential mole on the
top of his head, that every daily news
paper ought to keep q first class poet.
Look at the New York SIN; look at the
Philadelphia Ledger
Suppose we get up "a Hymn to the
Hyena, 8 said the young Peachtree ed
itor, with a light, mocking smile.
1.-THE hour for jokes is past, = re-
sponded the Political Professor, sit is
now five minutes after 10. =
There was not the slightest trace Of
bitterness in his tone. He was firm, but
he. never for an instant forgot the ETH
quette that charac terizes West End.
lis the Hyena Joke, thenp' the
younger Peachtree editor asked.
The irony of this inquiry was so pal
pable that if it came through the Atlanta
Custom House, duty Of 1923 dollars a
ton would be collected on it, on the
ground that it was steel railery. Here
the business manager interposed.
Is " nj r,f
write all the poetry we needP''
..That's what | say" the police re-
porter explained, giving the center
table thump. ''Why, only day before
yesterday saw a man that could open
up and give you rhyme right straight
along one, two, three and no scratches.
Yes, / did. And / hope never to see
another hanged if he WASH West End
man too. He was, for fact. .
q think you gentlemen from Peach
tree will discover, after while, that
West End has its attractions" said the
Political Professor seriously. What
about this rhyming manp''
'.Well," said the police reporter, cit
was this way. He had a cat he wanted
to get rid of, and what does he do but
put her in a bag and fetch her to town
on the street car. When he got to Pin
sons drug store, on the corner Of Mitch
Ell and Whitehall, he united the bag and
turned her loose. The man went home
on the same car, and when he got there
the cat was wiping the town mud off her
feet on the door mat. =
''But where does the rhyme come
IMP" asked one of the Peachtree cynics.
Easy enough-just easy enough.
There was the cat upon the mat. Cat
mat. See? What more does any man
want than thatP Cat-mat-that Amt
he got it down fne?''
SIS this the size Of the West End
boom?" asked Peachtree, with an air Of
fashionable languor.
i have little offering herep'' said
the Hyena Editor, who had taken no
part in the discussion, that I think will
partially redeem w est End.
Out with it!' exclaimed the Political
Professor. "Let's have it,
The Hyena Editor drew forth q roll of
manuscript, and, in his embarrassment
dropped one Of the sheets. It was num-
bered "eighty-six.' This seemed to
cool the enthusiasm of the staff, but curii-
'osity prompted them to remain.
.'The title said the Hyena Editor, sis
The Pulse of Spring. Shall read itp'
There was no response, and he began:
wTih1fsou 1!s fields Of Of blue the swallows ~.
- And, where the grass is green and sweet
The kill-dee runs to warm his feet 2
ssThat's business exclaimed the po-
lice reporter. That's grease in the hub,
and it goes at a 2:2O gait. Amt that
kill-dee event a darling? It gives me
the all-overs. If I had the money I'd
give $1,700 for a corner lot in clover
patch. That's away ahead Of the cat
poetry. =
The Hyena Editor blushed wildly and
Proceeded:
. Swift shadows come soft shadows go,
And underneath the violets blow .
At this point there was a general |
movement toward the door, and the POI I
lice editor exclaimed:
Nov here! Letup! This won't do!
The violet racket is barred. Before
there were any switch engines or real |
estate agents, it was well enough to talk
about violets blowing. Don't get this
nice little blossom mixed up. Give it q +
chance. What the people wants poetry,
as stiff and substantial as one q S. 4 !.
arts iron dogs
The position of the Constitution poet
is still open to the highest bidder. Com
munications should be addressed to the
Boston Manager tlaasta Constitution.
Mark Twain.
Mark Twain, the renowned archaolo-
gist, poet and astronomer, is lineal
descendent of the celebrated Twain who
were made one flesh. He was born on
Rock, April I, 1928, on a re-
cold morning, and the admin
istratrix Of the camphor and red flannel
department. afterwards stated that he
was the most remarkable baby she had
ever seen. At the early age Of seven,
Mark for SO he was cruelty christened
was already addicted to science, and
his discovery, made one year later, that
2 spring clothes-pin artistically applied !
to the continuation Of a cat would create
IN that somnolent animal desire for