The Republican journal., 1883-02-15
The American "Sir Joseph Porter" Visit
ing the Navy Yards

The American sir Joseph Porter" Visit
ing the Navy Yards.
"And this is a ship?" asked the Secre-
tary of the Marine, at the navy yard.
~ have heard of ships from my youth
up, and have long desired to see one.
Pray do they float? Which end goes
first ? Why not have one stick instead
of three sticking out of the decks9 Why
is not that stick upright like the rest "
asked the Secretary of the Navy to the
commandant of the navy yard, pointing
to the bowsprit.
THAT is the bowsprit," said the COM
mandant. "Bowsprits never stick up.
They are meek and lowly in all their
ways"
"What are these holes for ?" asked the
Secretary, pointing to the open hatch
ways. "Why have you made such deep
excavations in the vessel p
"The ship is built around these holes,
said the commandant, "but they extend
no farther than the water If they did,
the ship would sink"
"Were you ever in storm at sea y
asked the Secretary of the commandment
"Only once" replied the commandant
at was typhoon in longitude 81, of
the equator We were blown clean out
of the water twice, and spun for miles
through the air like a balloon. | shall
never forget the terrible appearance OF
the sea as We looked down upon it from
the clouds, We got down safely to
water at last, and tied the ship to a
water spout. 1t was terrible time"
"Deary, deary me-" said the Secre-
tary, chow interesting. And you lived
through it all. Tell US some more. But
let me inquire first, is the capstan of a
vessel equal in rank 10 a captain ?"
"In ordinary times" said the com
mandant, 'the captain outranks the
capstan. But the capstan always takes
command of the ship when the anchor is
weighed"
"Indeed,' replied the Secretary. "But
where is your fourth castle? | do not
behold any castle on board at ALL"
Fourth castle What do you mean,
secretary ?" asked the amazed comman-
dart.
"Why, in all the sea tales, I've read Of
| the fourth CASTLE said the Secretary.
ooh, you mean the fokesle,' said the
commandant.
"The what ?" asked the mystitied Sec
| rotary.
"Fokesle, okes'le-place where the
crew live. Down there" said the com
mandant.
"Why, it's hole" said the Secretary
captain, do not approve of your keep
ing your men in such dark, damp cellars
NO al,
"And do the sailors really climb u
there 2" asked the Secretary, pointing
aloft-"up those little rope ladders
How perilous."
"They do" replied the commandment
Il must improve on that" said The
Secretary Il will introduce grea
| reform in the service. | will save The
life of many gallant tar. Let all the
masts be provided with hydraulic eleva
| tors"
1T shall be DONE said the command
ant.
"Call the officer of the watch sud
denly demanded the Secretary; then re
marking aside: "I'll show him that
know something about ships"
The officer appears.
"Ot1icer," said the Secretary, "show u.
| your watches. want to see if they arr
| all in good ORDER
"Sir, the watches were all sent OF
shore this morning to be cleaned" re
| piled the officer Of the watch.
"That's pretty work." growled thu
Secretary. "Why, where's the ship
jeweller? Well, sir if you have Nc
watches on board, show US your clocks
You are officer of the clocks as we'll az
the watches, are you not ?
"Aye, aye, sir y said the officer Of The
| watch.
81. /, What in the world makes YOU
SO egotistical in expressing yourself
Why don't you say yes, sir, like d white
man ?" said the Secretary.
eyes, sir But | am sorry to say thai
it was necessary to reef the pcndulumso
all our clocks during the last gale, anC
they have not been shaken out YETI
"And what's all that banging for z
said the Secretary. lis it naval en-
gagement ?"
"We are firing the customary salute OF
nineteen guns in your honor" said the
c0mmandant.
ooh, you are, are you? Are there
bullets in any of EN-. Are they pointed
this way don't like it. 1t makes me
nervous. shall have that practice
stopped; Commandment, after this, fire
anvils or toy pistols, and save powder
Dear me, if Chester would only let me
stay in, how cheap | could run our navy
| would abolish the ships altogether
We've got hardly any now, and so far as
those are concerned that we have, We
might as we'll have none at all. Coco
morning, Commandment. n. Y Graphic