The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-02-10

pretty hot time m the back parior, and 6nally they settled 1t. and were going to
 sing hymn. when pa handed them q
 little hymn book. and the minister opened it and turned pale and said, what's this and they looked at u. and n was a book of Hoyles games instead of . hymn-book.
 Gosh, wasnt | the minister mad. He had
 started to read a hymn and he quit after
 he read two lines where 1t said, i In a game of four-handed euchre, never
 trump your partners ace, but rely on the ace to take the trick on suit Pa was
 trying to explain how the book come to be there, when the minissea and the dea-
 cons started out, and then poured the
 two quart tn pail full of soft soap on the
 front step. It was this white soap, lusi
 the eoler of the sssF, and when got it
 spread went down in the basement. ] The visitors came out and pa was trying
 to explain to them, about Hoyle, when
 one of the deacons stepped in the soap,
 and his feet flew up and he struck on his l pants and slid down the steps. The min
 isier said great heavens, deacon. are you hurt. Lei me assist you, and he took 1 two quick steps. and you have seen these fellows Tn a niggeg show that kick each other head over heels and fall on their
 ears. and stand or their hands and turn around ike top. The ministers feet
 slipped and the next saw he was stand
 ing on his head ia h.s hat. and his legs
 were sor, of ailsed and feil limp b. hs
 side. and he fell over on his stomach
 lou talk about spreading the gospel n heathen lands. |, Is nothing 10 the way you can spread t with two quarts of soil
 soap. The minister didn't look pious
 hit, when he WAS trying to catch the rall- ing. lie looked as though he wanted to
 murder every man on earth. but II may be he was .lfed. Well. pa was paraiyfed. and he and the other deacon rushed out i to pick up the minister and the first old
 man, and when they struck the step they went kiung. Pas feet somehow slipped ] backwards. and he turned summersauit
 and struck full length on his back and
 one heel VAS across the m.nis,e, neck.
 and he sid down the steps, and the other deacon icil all over the other three. and
 pa swore d, them. and 1t was the worst ! looking 10, ei Pfous people c,cr SAW.
 ;hink II the minister had been Tn the
 woods somewhere where nohody could
 nave heard hIm. hc would have used Ian
 ggase. Thes .,ii seemed mad al each
 other The hired gir told ma there ~as
 lhfee tramps OH on the sidewalk fgAi
 lns pa, and ma she took the broom and
 started 10 help pa. and ined 10 stop ma.
 cause her constitution Is not very siIong
 and didn't want her ,o do any flying
 irapexc bizness. but couldn't stop her.
 and she vent out with the broom and i towel tied over her head. Well. l don't i know where nla did strike. but when she
 came in she said she had palpilaiion ofthe heart. but that was not where she put the
 arnica. .. but she did go through the
 air like bullet through cheese, and
 when she went down the steps bumpity-
 bump, felt sorry for ma The minister
 had got so he could set up on the side
 walk, with his back against the lower
 step, when ma came sliding down, and one of the heels of her gaiters hit the minister in the hair, and the other foo,
 ven, rgh; through between his arm and i his side, and the broom like to pushed l his teeth down his throat. But he was not mad at ma. As soon as he see II
 was ma. he said, Why, sister, the wicked
 stand in siipperY pla- -.-.!..a'; tAey, and nla she WAS mad and s4d i..f hid, .o let | St'fAstt sAA'si NAa~.s i- "-N9 itt~ttA
 and he sad. Look a-hese. you sky-pi.o,,
 iiis ihiB., has ,9ne .,.: enough. a..d then .- policeman came along and hrsi he thought they were all drunk. bu, he
 found they were respectable, and he go; a chip and sclaped the soap of of them, and they went home, and pa and ma they go, in inc house soHe way, and iusg then Inc letter carrier came along, aai he d.dn', have any letters for u. and he didn't come onto the steps. and then l went up stairs and said. Pa, don; you
 thlnk |, Is real mean. after you and l iixea the soap on the steps for the letter carrier he didn't come on the steps at all.' and pa was scraping the soap of his
 pants with piece of shingle, and the
 hired girl was putting linirneni on ma. and heating 1t in for palpitafion of the heart. and pa said. You dam idlut. no more of this, or I'll maui the liver out of you and asked him If he didn't think soft soap would help a moustache to grow, and he picked up mas work -baske, and threw il at my head. as went down stairs, and came over here. Don't you think my pa is unreasonable to get mad at little joke tha, he planned himselfT' The grocery man said he didn't know. and the boy went out with pair of skates over his shoulder, and the grocery man IS wondering what joke the boy will play on him 10 ge, even for the cayenne pep per -Pe6ks [ .sEn.