Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1883-08-16
An Amusing Feature Of 1t.

The most amusing, if not the most
| instructive, feature of the Dorsey
| Barker revelations is the new light
| thrown upon two important political
| events: the nomination of Garfield at
Chicago and the Republican, victory in
| Indiana at the election in the following
October. The contemporary historians
of the great moral idea party have
spread themselves" so to speak, in
| describing the "Providential circum-
stances which led to the defeat of
| Grant and the selection of a candidate
who had never been seriously thought of
in connection with Presidential honers,
| and who was as much surprised when
they were thrust upon him by the Con-
vention as was Cincinnatus when sum-
moned from the plow to the dictatorship
of imperiled Rome. Who can forget, or
remember now without d burst of laugh
| ter, the accounts of Garfield s behavior
on that immortal occasion?-how he
| was completely overwhelmed - when
his name was mentioned: how he
"vainly endeavored - to decline
the coming event in favor OF John Sher-
man; how he .'insisted that consent
was impossible:' how "terribly con-
fused he was. and how 1.-the bushes
of modesty and embarrassment mantled
his cheeks when the result of the final
ballot was announced; and how he
''tried to escape from the ovation of
congratulation' which closed the pref
ty piece of business. The picture drawn
by Republican pencils was SO. graceful
aud attractive to the unsophisticated
popular mind, that the artist engaged
in the preparation of the Garfield Ma
tional monument m light have incorpo-
rated it in the forthcoming marble or
bronze, and SO transmitted to admiring
posterity the edifying spectacle of a
Presidential nominee who did not want
to be nominated, had not the slightest
expectation of being nominated, and
would not have been nominated if he
could possibly have helped it. Alas for
"the truth of history!n Alas for the
design of the artist! Remorseless Dor
sey and Baker have sat down upon both
and ilatteIed them out forever. The
world now knows, beyond all reasonable
doubt, the real facts in the case; knows
that Garfield knew all about the plans
of his friends for springing him upon
the Conventions; knows that he was
consulted in regard to the matter, and
gave his consent with the utmost
promptness and pleasure; knows that
he had no more intention of nnlninat-
ing Sherman than of dong the same
for General jackson or Julius Cesar;
knows that>all his confusion, surprise
ard mod sly was only a neat bit of act
ing, and that he must have smiled in
his sleeve ut the game SO successfully
played. Thanks to Dorsey and Barker
-unimpeachable Republican witnesses
they are too-one more. Republican
! historical hilmaug has been exploded,
fand vanishes outbof sight leaying behind
nothing savea bad smell.
Ihessecand exploded hu1nbus, thea Oc-
fffican press declared at the time, and
; the Republican victory was due to ga
grand uprising of the people in behalf
of Republican pr;nciples;" that it was
ga great work of political conversion"
"a moral tidal wave" "a special provi-
dence for the salvation of the Union
and the results of the war" The world
now knows that Garfeld's bargain and
sale produced $2.OOO,OOO for campaign
purposes; that $500, 900 went to Indiana
''in crisp two-dollar bank notes." that
this money was used in the most I'M
scrupulous fashion, and that the result
of the election no more represented the
true sentiments Of the people of Indiana
than it did those of the people of
Dahomey. No such scandalous and
shameless transaction as this is recorded
in our political annals, the Presidential
conspiracy of 1876 always excepted; and
both are fragrant flowers in the bouquet
of Republican rascality and rottenness.
We can not help plying those honest
Republicans who voted for Garfield in
1880, believing him to be champion
Civil-service Reformer and as free
from all completely with corrup-
ton as an unborn babe. How
their eyes and mouths must open in
utter amazement as they read of his
share in the Indiana performance. and
how utterly d sgusted they must be at
their own innocent gullibility! For
sweet charity's sake we will say nothing
of the biographies which will have to
be revised to meet the demands of the
Dorsey Barker documents; the funeral
orations which must undergo the same
process for the same reason; the COM
plete demolition of the idol which r.
publican hands erected for the RepuD-
lican multitude to adore. Enough to |
say that biographers, orators and idol
makers have ABUNDANT cause to curse |
Dorsey and Barker with the most ingen-
iouS and profuse profanity. and that
ii the Star-rouje trials have done moth
ing else they have contributed largely /
to the stock of popular information
upon certain sub ectS heretofore envel-
oped in thick closld of sensational ro-
nance and impudent falsehood.-St.
Louis Relu5lican.
The Dorsey Islander.