The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-09-19
The Daily Bulletin.
WIT AND HUM0R.
A taiIor's goose The dude.
A frame OF mind The skull.

n lGAlOc VI IllIHU ne Skull,
Woman's love for ribbons is pardon
able since she owes her existence TO a
rib bone.
That's what beats me, " solioquizcd
the small boy, as he gazed at his mas
slipper
"Woll, wife, Won can't say ever con-
trncted bad habits2' "No, sir; you gen.
orally expanded them
In 81, Louis it is not fashionable for
beautiful young ladies to be married,
They call itabduction.
A Now Jersey lady waded out and
pulled in her husband, who was drown
ing, As usual she grabbed him by the
hair
"Will there be ware asks tmd
editor. The chances are that if he re.
fuses to give his wife the price Of a new
Fall bonnet, war is inevitable.
A gallant railroad engineer met a
girl in the morning courted her all day,
and in the evening married her That
was sort of locomotive spark,
At the opera in Dublin a gentleman
sarcasticalIy asked man standing up
in front of him if he was aware he was
opaque The other denied the alliga-
ton, and said he was o Brien.
The wife Of the man that called
baby carriage = cry-cycle was spending
week with her mother When the
visit Is returned, his wit will keep
calmcr
Rather SAYS the cures affected by lay
ng on the hands are an old story with
him His mother often INDUCED in
the pastime in times past-BoSto
Courier.
The young poet who is ambitious to
rush into print should remember that,
although his genius may be unqueston-
ed, his verses will never have good
run unless their feet are perfect.
1t is said that there are two eventful
periods in the life OF a woman; one
when she wonders whom she will have,
and the other when she wonders who
will have her.
What do YOU mean you rascal, by
spilling my coffee all over me?' shout
ed an enraged passenger. Never
mind, sir, protested the waiter, "Ill
get YOU some more, sir.
The latest agony is for a young lady
10 have a dog to match her dress.
We'd like 10 see crushed strawberry
dog in fact any kind of crushed
dog.
At the Table d'Hotc.- waiter split
some gravy over a lady's dress. The
lady was terribly put about Never
mind, said the waiter, there's plenty
more gravy where that came from, -
.Stct,lhntSer.
If those front-gate women were smart
they would have their husbands build
their houses even out to the sidewalk
and with little balconies on the front of
them, so they could sit in them and see
what is going on up and down the
street
Yes, said the daughter of ward
politician. PA is manufacturers y
"a manufacturer exclaimed gen
tIoman who knew pa Yes. - re-
Piled the younG lady; "he', a mauuIac-
turer Of public sentiment ! believe. "
cont"
4 New York lady started for the
Wni,e Mountains with an outfit Of thir-
y-une trunks. And she wouidn t
speak 20 her husband for II whole day
because be- complained OF being flea
bitten through carrying her poodle in
his arms.
She wa, sweclN inexperienced
young hou~rkncper, q, on" may gather
from her remark when some one sug-
gc,D,d That size should purchase spring
mattresses. YES she replied, III
they are IN season we'd better have
some,
\ writer Ia a magazine call, a laugh
20 ,jde.>p.,lu- rccreationai exercise,
and adds, "lnr sudden IMPRESSION OF
% bold lul,croNity upon our ordinary
mental rrrtituIa upscls the very foun'
dJtjm Of our gravity, and the unre'
strained torrent of cmotye drollery
sweeps us away
Do not de,pSc the American hen.
She is industrious. She lays every
year 1000, 600, 900 eggs. She earns the
right to cackle Some of these eggs
may be bad. 1t is not the hens fault,
She does the best she can. Out of the
5000, 100000 deeds that men do more
or less Of them are bad. A hens egg
| is good when fresh, Mems deeds are
not apt to be SO.
4 Chicago wholesale house sent ont
three female drummcr> 10y way OF cX-
pertinent One of them wore all her
samples to picnic and got lcmanadc,
pie, and gras, stains all over them; an
other got mashed on n brakeman an Il
followed him off, and the third reported
three new dresses, a lawn-tenniS suit, y
garden hat, and Langlry bang in her
expense account The house is so well
satisfied with the result Of the expert
ment that it will not repeat it,
"How doth the little busy b. In
the busy town of Wilmington two years
ago an eating-house keeper who pridcd
himself on his ability to prepare the
best dinners to be had anywhere per.
pctrated the following sign; Try my
| linbnrs tln,r ANNE hn hnot " In - "a