National Republican., 1883-09-10
VELVET hats are tho English rage.

A GOOD brick will absorb quart of water.
French railways will not use cars built
on the American plan.
A CRUEL paragrapher asserts that Gov.
Butler wears bow-legged eye.
THERE are thirty-fve total abstinence men
in the British house of commons.
GEoRGIAs manufacturing products will ag-
gregate almost 500, ,OOO,O 600 this year.
Ex-Gov. PALMER's residence at Spring
field ILL.,. has been sold for sll. 900, aud will be
used as hospital.
An undertaken of Detroit, Mich is charged
with cutting the hair from paupcr dead aud SELL
ing it to wig maker.
Mr.. KEEL of Detroit, in writing TO Castle
Garden for a wife, is careful to say: "A Red hair
prison need not aplye"
A PAETY of lcclandcrs passed through Du-
luth the other day. and the old-timers began to
crawl into their ulstcrs
SUMMER resort landlords are figuring up
their bank accounts and preparing TO BIZ real hon
est until next season opens.
STEPHEN A. DOUGLAS, whose condition
was Mt one time deemed critical, is now showing
| signs of steady improvement.
EMMA ABBOTT has been sojourning in Chi
cage for n few days, but this should not be laid up
against hor.--Bismdrck Tribune
AN Oshkosh bride toro her hair when she
discovered that her husband was hodcarrler in-
stead of i" an architects clerk"
! AN exchange says: "The sadder and colder
nature is, tho more dear becomes our hearth
stone. Coal $5.75 ton l-BioomJistd Cai=en.
"MEDIcAL student:" No, sonny; you are
laboring under deluson. Pro bono publico
does not mean "probing the bones of the pub
| lie"
HIGuwAYMEN are becoming so numerous
in New York that belated citizens carry their
| purses in their hands TO facilitate the proceed
| Jugs.
Mr.. LAY, of Oil City, who has been pros
pccing in Wyoming, hazards the opinion that
the worlds future petroleum supply will be found
| there.
Miss CHAMBERLAYNE, the American
beauty will not marry Il foreigner. She is to unta
her fortunes with those of u Wyoming cattle
king.
GooD men too often say of a departed fell
| low citizen "Well, his troubles arc overp' This
| is venturing good deal. Ills troubles have only
| just begun.
The largest man in the British military
service is Lieut. Southerand, of the Goth regiment
He is eight feet four inches high, and weighs about
| 3Gi pounds.
81 AM making display of fall goods" re-
marked the fruit yender, as he threw down lot
of banana skins, orange peel, and apple Earrings
| Boston Courier
STATISTICS show that triplets occur only
once in 1000 births. The Rochester Post Express
imaG nes that o poor man with 5000 children
might feel veiy uneasy.
ST.. LOUIS is building u music and art hall.
The Chicago Noes sncerinGy remarks that she
might better employ her time and money by de-
voting them to an asylum for her lost girls.
LITTLE Miss Shearer. of Stonersville, Pa,
is 13 years Of age, only thirty inches high weighs
but twelve pounds and has head only an inch
and a half in diameter. She cannot talk, speak,
nor see, but hears we'll and likes music
THE white bear went by with his head
mournfully swaying from side to side. He is the
only beast that answers all questions in the mega
tive, and he seems to imagine that somebody is
forever asking him If the climate is cold enough
| for him.
Miss KELLOGG is really too old to sing.
There is no longer any doubt of that If she in
sists upon posing as boon to civilization, why
doesn't she step into the vacancy occasloned by
the demise of the lamented Mrs, Lydia L. Pink
ham, Chicago NctrS.
Ir seems that our st. Paul friends wet
down their guests ut Lake Minnetonka with pop
champagne at 81 per dozen. Thrift thrift, Ho.
ratiol The same delectable compound served
to make the waters drunk and the scene was a
most disgraceful one.- Minneapolis Journal.
The niece of the late Queen of Madagascar
has succeeded to the throne aud is violently hos
tile to the French. If the lady will please keep
her bangs cnmped until Mr.. Bouet has concluded
his song and dance business in China, she may
ceive attentions that will at least amuse her CO.
quettish highness. Ch'eago Nelos.
THE shah of Persia has q way of managing
horse races that is peculiar at least. The COM
petitors all deposit the entrance money with his
majesty, and when the race is finished the shah
confscates the winning horse and keeps the en-
trance money. Pool selling Is not practced in
that enlightened part of creation.
THE Chinese soldiers have one fighting ad-
vantage over the French They wear light,
airy uniform, which consists solely of a cap a
thin linen jacket and gauzy pair of pants while
the Frenchmen are attred in thick blue uni
FORM solid red trousers, a thick shirt, aud hard
leather boots. II Is not strange that the unaccli.
mated French feel tho heat.
SITTING BULL was greatly agitated while
occupying conspicuous place before n large con-
course of people at Bismarck Dak., during the
Willard demonstration. He seemed rather inn
pressed with the idea that the people intended to
pararyze him, aud his hand trembled with emo
ton. This feeling didn't appear to affect his ap.
petite to any great extent however.
AN English writer speaks of the nasal
twang and keen yulpine faces Of Americans visit.
ing London. He says these persons "unen-
durable, forward, obtrusive, inquisitive, imperti-
nent, familiar ungentlemanly, brutal, groveing,
undgnifcd, ungraceful, vulgar, witless, shallow,
uninteresting," lie doesn't say anything about
their ancestors having been Europeans.
ONE Of the most important of the mercan-
tile institutions Of Berlin is all egg exchange. As
the city consumes more than 100000 dozen OF
eggs annually II is business ofvery great import
Gnco. ON the forenoons of two days in the week
the produce exchange is wholly given up to the
egg dealers, both male and female Uniform rates
for eggs are thus established, which are OBJ
served by all dealers
NUMBER of Chicago journalists have
gone to Louisville to inspect the exposition and
enjoy the grauitous hospitalities Of the generous
Kentuckians. During their absence, the press Of
this city will bo run by tho newspaper men. A
Journalist It must be understood, is an individual
who is invariably connected with the business de-
partment or outside schemes ofa newspaper who
carries card ON which his name is printed in big
black type, while the name OF the paper appears
: in small sickly letterlng who speaks Of we with
an upper case W who goes on all the free excur.
sious: who responds at banquets TO toasts to the
: Archimedean lever that moves the world; who