davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-11

A TRAPPING HUMoRIsT.-The stock in trade
Of the modern humorlst IL graphically compil-
ed by another:
"a man entered the Office, the other day,
heavily laden with a variety of objects. A bent
pin stuck in the lapel of his coat a custard
pie was in his left hand, pair of laveuer trous-
ers hung ever one arm, while bent piece of
stove-pipe was held under the other; a green
apple was in his coat pocket, his other hand
contained plate of ice cream, glass of soda
water and can of Kerosene. Beside him
walked mule with garden gate on his back,
and bull dog and goat He created great
deal of CONSERVATION, until he stated that he
was a journeyman humOrist, accompanied by
his professional instruments, which he desired
to store for a few days. a request that was
rheerfully granted by the staff
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-11

The importance of fences is illustrated by the
fact that the third law passed by the first As
sembly ever held in the colony New York, dated
May 6, l6s2, refers to this subject
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-11

A LITTLE bit of refined saltpetre dissolved in
the mouth is said to be one of the best remedies
for sore threats sore gums
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-11

WHAT comes once in n minute. twice in a mo-
meDt, and once in n mans lifei The letter ".
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-11

A great many people are asking
what particular troubles BROWNS
IRoN BrrTERs is good FOR.
II will cure Heart Disease, Paral-
ysis, Dropey, Kidney Disease, Con-
sumption, Dyspepsia, Rheumatism,
Neuralgia, and all similar diseases.
Its wonderful curative power is
simply because it Purities and en-
riches the blood, thus beginning at
the foundation, and by building up
the system, drives out all disease.
A Lady Cured CT Rheumatism.
Baltimore, Nd. May J. 1850.
My health was much shattered by
Rheumatism whoa | Commenced
taking Browns Iron Bifters, and l =
scarcely had strength enough to at
tend TO ny daily household duties
Iamnow using the third bo,tie and
am regzining strength daily, and
cheerfully recommend IL to al
l cannot say too much in praise
fir Mrs MANY E BRASHkAR.
IT3 Prestnanst
Kidney Disease Cured.
Christiansbrry, Va, IssI.
Suffering from Kidney disease,
from which could get no relief.
tried Browns Iron B.tters, which
cured me completely. A child Of
mine, recovering from scarlet fever,
had no appetite and did not seem TO
be able to eat at all. lgaye him Iron
Bitters with the happiest results
KYLE MoSTASUE-
Heart Disease.
Vine ST., Han isburg, Pa
Dec. :. 1885,
Afer trying different physicians
and many remedies for palpitation
Of the heart without receiving any
benefit, was advised to Try Browns
Iron BiiterS- have used two bot
ties and never found anything that
gave ne 50 much relief
Ms. JESSrE Hsss-
For the peculiar troubles to which
ladies are subject, BROWNS IRON
BIrTERs is invaluable. Try it.
Be sure and get the Genuine.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-11
CoNQUER0R
OF ALL KIDNEY DISEASES.

NEVER - - &c FAIE.
II had suffered twenty years with disease Of the
kidneys before using Hunts Remedy two DAYS was re-
heved and am now we'll JOSHUA TJTHll-L-
my ply sicians thought that paralyzed one
side. terribly afflicted with rheumatism from ls6e
TO 1850 was cured by Hunts Remedy
MY doctor pronounced my Brights Disease, and
told that could live only fortyeight hours. then
" GOODSPEED.
Having suffered with kidney disease and
employed various ply without being relieved was
then cured by Hunts Remedy" - -
SULLIVAN FENNER-
II have been greatly benefited by the Of Hunts
Remedy For diseases of the kidneys and urinary organs
there is nothing superior. A ID. NICkERSON.
81 testify the virtue of Hunts Remedy in kidney
diseases from actual trial having been much benefited
thereby" REV. Z. e. TAYLOR
1T unable from bed from attack Of kidney
disease. The doctors could not relieve finally
completely cured by using Hunts Remedy"
FRANK X. DICKSON.
II have suffered extremely with kidney disease; after
using Hunts Remedy two days, was enabled TO resume
business GEO. +. CLARK.
81 sold in years ga l2O) thiftyth thousand
hundred and twenty bottles Of Hunts Remedy. 1t is
valuable medicine for kidney diseases" -
One trial will convince yeu. For sale by all
Drag gist.. Send for Pamphlet to
HUNTS REMEDY CO., Providence, R. ].
Prices, Is cents and sI.e5.
Iuue II
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-11

GOOD two-feet rule is this: Away. keep
yoar feet dry.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-11

SOLE AGENT FOR THE
Grown, and Mason & HamtR Organs,
Crown, Hartford, Howe, White, and n. Y. Singer
SEWING MACHINES,

And vii sell thea at almost factory prices.
Mr. Haeg does not spend foar five hundred dsiars
YEARLY travelling afoand but stays at home and sells bis
machines and at low prices therefore giving par
ehasers fall benef instead Of paying out travelling
around
Every machine has guarantee for FIVE yearr a7d Mr.
Hagg located In Severanee and expects to stay there
puicha-ers need fear Of losing anything when dealing
With him. jHBei-io7-
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1883-01-11
STRONG
EACTS/

= A grea, many people are asking
what particular troubles Browns
IRON BrrTERs is good for.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
THE TRADE DOLLAR MUST Go

THE TRADE DOLLAR MUST Co.
A number of bills for retiring the
trade dollar have been introduced In
Congress, and it is to be hoped that
our legislators will see their way to a
plan for robbing it of its power for
mischief. The Presidents sugges
tion was to buy them up at slight
advance over their intrinsic value.
The plan of the Secretary ofthe Treas
ury is to exchange standard dollars
for them. 1t is yet to he en- which
plan, if either, congressional wisdom
will adopt, The coin, since its legal,
tender quality is gone, has a bad
name, though it is worth more in
trinsicaly than the standard dollar is
worth intrinsically, and it should be
promptly disposed of.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
From the Bloody Ground.
ToLLEsBORO, KY.


DIR. S. B. HARTMAN & Col keep
the largest stock of medicines of any
store in Lewis county, with the ex-
ception of a drug store at Vanceburg,
our county seat, and am selling a
great deal of your PERUNA. 1t is
giving the best satisfaction of any
medicine that l ever handled. In
one case, our constable for this pre-
cinct, has been. very sick and low
spirited for long time. For several
years he has tried all the doctors
here, and we have some good ones,
but they did him no good. After
much persuasion / sold him two bot
ties of PERUNA. He took halfof the
medicine. l could see great change
in him, and now he is as sound a man
apparently as there is in this vicinity.
and he says he is entirely well. He is
a number one man, and is highly re-
spected. He is satisfied that your
medicine saved his life, after all the
doctors and all medicines had failed.
Being unacquainted with you, refer
you to John Shillito & Co., Altor
Pinckard & Co., and other business
houses of Cincinnati.
r. l.. GILLESPIE, p. M.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22

THE SMOKE HOUsE.-A man who
lives in Albany, and whose business
is that of clerk. said that he had
lately built "A house that cost him
$4,000. His friends expressed their
wonder that he could afford to build
so fine a dwelling. why" said he,
"this is my smoke house." "Your
smoke house! What do you mean ?'
Why. mean that twenty years ago
1 left off smoking, and l computed
that what / saved. with interest,
would amount to $4,000 and / con-
cIuded to put the money saved from
smoke into my house; hence l call
this my smoke house"
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS
Swept into the Stream.

On the deck of big Mississippi steamboat
stood an aged Southern planter Indicating
by a sweep of his arm the waters the boat Wtis
passing over he said to a passenger rom u IL
North "When was twelve years ola kllItu
NV first bear on new plantation my iather
was then cutting out of forest that grew al
rectly over the waters Of this bend. ThaJ was
n mighty good plantation, and there was rlehl
smart OF bears there, too. But that one thous-
and acres went into the Mississippi years
ago" sos g..
II is putting no strain upon the hgures 10
say that great forests of youthful hopes, Wo.
manly beauty and manly strength are SWEEP
away IN the same way every year lnto tne
great, turbid torrent of disease ana deain. et
IL should not be so. That 1t Is so IS a disgrace
as well MS q loss. People are largely 100 cart
less or too stupid to defenu theirown interests
the most precious of which is hea!th. Ihal
gone all is gone. Disease is simple. put 10
reckI essness or ignorance the simplest thlhgs
might as well be complex as a proposition III
Comic Sections As the huge Western rivers,
which so often flood the cities along thelr
shores arise in q few mountain springs, SO
all our ailments can be traced to impure
blood and small group of disordered organs.
The most effective and inclusive remedy
for disease is PARK Frs TONIC. 1t goes 10
the sources of pain and weakness. In res
ponse to its action, the liver, kidneys, stom-
ach and heart begin their work afresh, and
disease is driven out. The Tonic Is not. how
ever, an intoXicant, but cures desire Tor
strong drink. Have you dyspepsia, rheuma,
tism or troubles which have refused TO yielu
to other agents? Hereis your help.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
SUFFERING WOMEN. y


ed by nature with pretty face, beautiful
figure, iaultless complexion, as well as the
sweetest oftempers and faultless mental quail
tiles grows prematurely old, gray and wrink-
led, her form lOOses its perfect contour. the
complexion becomes SallOW, the brightness
leaves the eye, a feeling of languor takes the
place of the once buOyant spirits an irritable
nervous righteousness makes life burden,
things t. at once were trifles worry her till
life becomes unbearable. All this being caus-
ed by the physical arrangements so common
to women, which the innate mOdeSty of femi-
nine nature prevents their making known,
and of which the ignorance of the medical pro
feSson prevents a cure. Lady Reader. pause
and consider, tits duty you owe yourself,
your family and your God, that you should
cure yourself of these troubles and once more
feel the glow ofperfect health and spirits that
nature intended for you. Wheeter'S No. 96 Pre-
ScriptiOnS are pleasant and palatabie to take,
containing nothing of an injurious nature,
in all conditions WittOtn possibility 0fW effects,
and will positively cure any of the peculiar
diseases to which females are subject. Failing
to produce a perfect cure the proprietors will
refund the money paid for the treatment. If
you have sallow complexion, constant or
intermittant headache. backache, restlessness
loss of appetite suppressionS ofmOnthly flow,
or Irregularities thereof accompanied by
headaches, nervousness, Mysteries and SINH
lar symptoms, WheeLers No. 96 Prescription
"B'' will pc itlvely restore you to health. II
you have sensation of heat ana thrObbing
in the back. frequent fainting spells, Leucor-
rhea or white discharge, painful or sciading
sensation in urinating. reddish or white de-
posit in urine, hot and dry skim Wheeler's No.
96 Prescription ''C' will give immediate and
lasting relief. The price of Wheeler's No. 81
Prescriptions "B'' and "C' are so cents each,
Obtainable from druggists or sent by mail Sc
cure from observation post paid on receipt of
price. Postage stamps taken.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
Order of Publication.
Emma Stiles ! In the Circuit Court for
against Garrett County,
Francis A. Stiles. No $50 Equity.

Emma stiles ! In the Circuit Court for
against Garrett County
Francis A. Stiles. No. 2S9 Equity.
This suit is to procure a decree divorcing q
uiucuto mdtTf9Hontt plaintiff from defendant
The bill states that plaintiff was married to
defendant, April 5, 1874 in Garrett County
here; that they lived together as husband
and wife until July -, 1871, when defendant
abandoned her and ceased to support her and
her children; that said abandonment has
continued uniterruptedly ever SINCE and for
more than three years and is deliberate and
final and the sepal alton beyond any reason
able expectation of reconciliation, and that
plaintiffha resided in said Garrett County
for the past six years, and that defendant is a
nonresident Of the State OF Maryland. 1t
prays also for decree as above, and an order
of publication.
1t is thereupon, this 2Sth day of November
1888 adjudged AMI ordered that the plaintiff
by causing copy of this order to be inserted
in some newspaper published in Oakland
once week for four successive weeks. before
the 3lst day of December, 1888. Give notice
to the said bSent defendant, who is a nom
resident, of the object and substance of this
bill, and warn him to appear in this court in
person or by solicitor. on or before the I'd day
of April, next, to answer the premises and
show cause, ifany he bias, why decree ought
not to pass as prayed.
w. II. TOWER,
Clerk Circuit Court
True copy-Test:
W. II. TOWER, Clerk.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
RHEUMATISM,
Gout, Lameness OF
n InintS- Scintica and

Neuralgia are reviewer ~ ohnce anu poSiClNe-
ly cured by the use of Wheeler's No. 96 Rheu-
matte Remedy. We say boldly that in the
worst of cases of no matter how Tong standing.
how serious or how PAINFUL, we cannot only
give reiefbut positiUety cure for all time. Fail
ing to do this we will, positively refund the
money paid for the treatment, and if your
sufferngs are not positively stopped for all
time you have not thrown your money away
as you woulu on any other than these guaran-
teed remedies. The price of Wheeler's No. SO
Rheumatic Remedy is only 50 cents, obtain
able from druggists or sent free by mail on re-
CENT OfDrice. Stamps taken,
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
CATARRH.
1t is needless to describe
the symptoms of this nau.
Seous disease that is sap

of only too many of the fairest and best OF
both sexes. Old and young, suffering alike
from the poisonous dripping in the throat,
the poisonous nasal discharges The fetid
breath and general weakness debility and
languor, aside from the acute sufferings OF
this disease, which if not checked can only
end IN loss of palate, hoarseness weakened
sight, loss ormemory deafness and premature
death If not checked before it is too late
Labor. study and research in America Europe
and Eastern lands have resulted in Wheeler'S
No W Instant Relief and Sure Cure for Cttta, rh
p remedy which contains no harmful ingre-
dlents. and that Is guaranteed to cure every
case OF acute or chronic catarrh or money re-
funded. Whe"ter'S No. 96 Instant Relief and
Sure Cure for CutdrTh will cure every case of
catarih. hay fever or asthma, price 81. 90 per
package, from druggists or sent by mail post
paid on receipt of price.
WheeLerS No. 96 SIRE Cure for RIdneu and
Liver Troubles cures all weakness and sore
ness Of kidneys, Inflammation OF kidneys or
liver. price Sl.00.
WheeJer's Vegetable Pills are the only RENE
uy that cure constipation, giving natural ac-
tlon ofthe bowels without physicing purging
gripping or pain. Price 25 cents, OF druggists
or by mail.
Wheeters NerUine Tonic for mental depres-
sion. loss OF manhood, languor. weakness or
over taxation of the brain is invaluable, price
% cents.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22

We GUARANTEE Gn %i, l lsf swssy % ssse
ey paid, We place our price for these rene
ules ~ less than one-twentieth Of the price
asked by Others for remedies upon which Won
take all the chances, and we specially in vite
the patronage of the many persons who have
tried other remedies without effect or de-
pleted their purses by paying doctor bills that
benefited them not,
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
BLACKSMITHING

Inc an prepared to do all kinds Of blacksmith
inlSS ' oS F arr work speciality. Prices ~
near Browning House" S' "orA' Shop
DAVID LITTLE.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Order of Publication.

John Knox ! No. 2SS Equity. In the
VS.. Circuit Court for Car
Jane Knox. J ret, County, Maryland
The object of this suit is to obtain a divorce
DincutO ndtrinlOlpii and the custody chill
dren.
The bill states that complainant and de-
and l'ved and cohabited together as man and
wife until the month of March, 1881, when the
defendant deserted the complainant; that
during said cohabtatiOn six children were
born of said marriage, all of whom are infants
under the age of twenty one y ears and are
now residing with complainant; that prior
TO and since the time of said desertion, the
said Jane was ami has been guilty Of aduI
terry; that said Jane is a resident of the State
has resided i'll Maryland for more than two
years before this suit.
The bill then prays for divorce q UincuIO
ftdtIinonti, the custody Oh the children and
an order OF publication against the defendant.
1t is therefore ordered by the Circuit Court
FOR Garrett County, sitting as court of
equity, this 10Th day of November, 1888, that
together with the object and substance of the
bill, TO be inserted III some newspaper pub
llshed in Garrett County, once week for
tour successive weeks on or before the thirty
trst day of December next, giving notice To
the defendant and warning her to appear
Us Court, in person or by solicitor, on or he
IRE the second day Of April, 1881, to show
tuse, ifany she has, why decree shall No
ass as prayed.
W. H. TOWER,
rk Circuit Court
True copy-Test:
w. II. TOWER, Clerk.
l2I At.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
MONUMENTS { 7OMBS7ONtS

q ~ In A week made at home by the in
HH dustrious. Best business now be-
M II ~ fore the public. Capital not need
49, &W ed. We will start you, Men,
women, boys and girls wanted everywhere to
work for u. Now is the time. You can work
in spare time. or give your whole time to the
business No other business will pay you
nearly as well. No one can fail to make enor-
nous pay by engaging at once. Costly outfit
and terms free. Money made fast, easily, and
honorably. Address TRUE, q Co., Augusta,
Maine 22ily.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
POOR PEOPLE at" "nd @ RsSPe of an @G sHen

ptOpTG WPII 10 no Ut WVtIIIy THU VIIdI IIIO
enormous charges of practising physicians are
a serious burden to them, ana also find that
after paying themselves poor that no benefit
has accrued to them, that in fact they have
thrown their money away. Toovercome these
evils we offer WheeteTS No. 96 Sure Remedies
to the sick and suffering one Remedy for each
disease, without for a moment claiming that
one remedy will cure any other disease than
the one claimed for it, and as these remedies
have stood the test of years without single
failure, we agree to refund the money paid In
every instance where a cure is not positively
effected. The remedies are entirely vegetable,
and can do no harm, and will positively cure
every disease for which they are prescribed.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
SESIRE MEN 4: &;

has a separate cause or origin, and mat each
needs a different method of treatment in or
der to effect a cure, and a moments reflection
must convince that any of the quick nostrums
foisted upon the public claiming to cure all of
a number of diametricly different diseases
must prove failures, even If we do not call
them hrmburS
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
THE WEEKLY AMERICAN.
THE Cheapest and Best Family Ne,os-
paper Published.
OILY ONE DOLLAR YEA
Sir Months. 60 Cents.

THE WEEKLY AMERICAN is published every
Saturday morning, with the news of the week
in compact shape. 1t also contains interest
ing special correspondence, entertaining rO-
mances, good poetry. local matter oi ge neral
interest and fresh miscellany, suitable for the
home circle. A carefully edited Agricultural
Department and full and reliable Fine ncIal
and Market reports are special features.
TERMS AND PREMIUMS
THE WEEKLY AMERICAN, Single copy,
81 90
5 copies, one year, and extra copy six
months. or DAILY one month, frep,., 3 90
copies, and an extra copy one year ee g. 90
l3copies. and IL copy ofrHE DAILY AMER
ICAN three months tree..................... l3 90
% copies, ard n copy of the DAILY SIX
months, or three copies of the WEEKLY
one ?5 90
40 copies, and copy of the DAILY one
year. or five copies of the WEEKLY one
yeilr ........... 10 90
The premium copies Will be sent to any ad-
dress desired.
Specimen copies sent to any address. It'll
come from one office, nor is it necessary TO
send all the names at one time.
Send on the names as fast AS received Re
mtttanceS should be made by check postal
money order or registered letter, as IL is un-
safe to send money In ordinary letters. and
the publishers cannot be responsible for losses
occasioned thereby.
SPECIAL CLUB RATES.
THE WEEKLY AMERICAN, with any of the
following named Journals, will be sent one
year, to separate addresses. if desired at the
prices given in the first column of figures.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
B. & o. r. II. Timetable
The following time table of the
Baltimore and Ohio Railroad Went
into effect on the 18th of May;

The fast trains, with the excep
tion of those mentioned, make stop
pages only at the First Glass Sta
tions. Tickets should always he pro
cured before taking the cars, pas
sengers saving thereby from 10 t, %
cents.
VIM. NJ. CLEMENTS,
Master of Transports;
L. M. COLE,
General Ticket Agent
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
PATENTS.

+. A. Lehman, Solicitor of American and
Foreign Patents, Washington, d. e. All bus
mess connected with Patents, whether before
the patent Office or the Courts, promptly at
Tended TO; No charge made unless a patent
10 secur'H send Tor circular If
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22
SPECIAL CLUB RATES.

THE WEEKLY AMERICAN, with any of the
following named Journals, will be sent one
year, to separate addresses. if desired. at the
prices given in the first column of figures,
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1883-12-22

John Knox ! No. 2SS Equity. In the
VS.. Circuit Court for Gar
Jane Knox. ret, County, Maryland.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1883-04-05
Chester's COurteOusness.

We are glad to record an anecdote of
President Arthur, illustrating his true
politeness. So much has been said of
his surface polish that it is pleasant
task to offset it with the story of an act
that speaks as loudly of his kindness of
heart as the genuineness of his good
breeding. 1.-The new member" who
had remained over in Washington after
the close of the session, had wandered up
to the White House to see about making
"Mariar Prices daughter postmaster at
North Fork" The President and some
friends were on their way out to lunch,
and ''the new member was invited to
join them. 1.-The new member thus
tells the story: $50 we went in and set
down, and they had, some of them,
pesky tinger-bowls, with lemon in the
bottom of them. When the raw oysters
come on, they seemed mighty stingy
with their lemon, so | took nut
cracker, and picked the lemon up and
put it on my oysters. They had been
tellin' about the way the President used
to whoop it up in New York, and, when
they see me goin' for the lemon, some
of them fellers stopped, and begun
snickerin' and laflin', but, next thing,
the President he fetched up his lemon
with a fork, and put it on his oysters,
and them chaps stopped latin and
looked as solemn as a funeral after
that. ~ Waterbury american.