Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1883-04-28
How to Write Biographies.

AAO" AS
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So, my son, you want to know how
biographies are written. l am glad Won
asked, because / can answer your CUES
ton WITHOUT lodging, and when a man
has the answer. he doesn't care how
many Interrogation points are put for
ward to pluck it from him.
Well, then, supposingforeNamplet that
you were aboutto write the biographyof
a clergyman, you want to know how to
go to work. Why, my dear boy, it is
the simplest thing in the world.
There are but two plans upon which
clerical biographies are constructed;
you may choose either. and so long ~
you are true to the rules tacitly agreed
upon the world over for the particu-
lar plan you begin with, you can not
fail.
One variety of the ministerial biog-
raphy starts out with a pale, thought
ful-faced boy, who devours books in
stead of cookies, and is never truly
happy unless buried to his eyebrows in
theological treatises and musty meta,
physics. He must have eyes which
dwell on vacancy when they dwell any
where. He must be of a sickly tenn
permanent, and nobody must expect him
to live from day to day. This is the
groundwork, and his college career must
be consonant herewith. 1t is best to
keep him lowering between life and
death till his thirtieth year. Then let
him grow fat and round and jolly by
degrees, until you have c~omplssAlGSXskre-
constructed his physical andsK1J416al
composition, and turned out a muscu-
lar Christian who loves sport, a good
story and fat living, and whose SER
mons are as bright and pithy as they
nee were dull and tedious.
This is one plan. The other is to pic
ture a boy chockful of mischief. who
leases his sisters, torments the dog and
cat, and astonishes his elders by his sau-
cy wit and worries them continually by
his escapades and general cussedness-i
He must be the black sheep at school, the
horror of his teachers, and at college he
must be the prime mover in all manner
of wickedness and be expelled as often
as your ingenuity may suggest. Like
his complementary brother, he must
also take a turn when about twenty-five
or thirty, and ever after be the deep
thinker, profound reasoner and tiresome
bore, which death finally and kindly
takes from a world altogether too bad
for such as he.
The great point, you will observe, is
to make as violent a contrast as posi-
BILE between the boy and the man. 1t
pleases the milk-and-water mar to have
people believe that he was a very imp
in his youth; and the strong, healthy
man, who cares more for physical than
1onnfa1 ci1,,ariorif,- ic not 1nth fN bn1-o
it 90 forth that when a boy he was
studious and sickly TO a fault. I
In writing the biography Of a soldier,
you have simply to remark that he
seemed born to command, and prove it
by citing from Imagination the salient
points of his boyhood's exploits, and
adding thereto all the great events and
all the deeds of daring in the lives Of
the heroes Of history and the famous
fighters of fiction. 1t is as easy as lying,
and therefore you require no further
instruction in this department. of biog-
raphy. =.
The life Of a great writer should deaf
principally with his eccentricities. OF
course he must have these, otherwise he
is a writer not worth writing about
Tell your readers that he wrote with n.
pointed stick, 81 pencil-stub or his finger
anything, i'll short, but a pen; that he
preferred old envelopes. wrapping
paper or wall paper to the orthodox sta
tionery; that he wrote only when the fit
took him, and that when the fit did take
him he shut himself up for weeks and
would neither eat nor drink nor slecn
nor see anybody until the fit left him.
After one of these intellectual spasms.
you must depict him as utterly exhaust
ed and just ready to die. as lying fallow
FOR weeks or months, and then having
a relapse and going back to his den,
and grinding out Il new batch Of litera-
ture.
The successful business man must
begin life as a poor boy. This is indis-
pensable. Have his parents die in his
infancy. If possible, let him be born
without parents. At any rate, let him
shirk for himself from the word 500"
have him grow up without education or.
advantages of any kind other than his.
own ~shrewdness and honesty. Don't.
forget to emphasize his honesty. No.
matter IT he was a thief from his cradle.
picture him as honesty personiiied, and.
ascrlbe all his success to this virtue.
You must make him ali early riser.
charitable to a fault and disinterested
IN all his dealings, a MAJ averse to
money rather than otherwise, and one
who would be better pleased to see
others rich and himself poor thar to be
overburdened with the wealth that is
pouring in upon him in ever-increasinc>
store and sadly against his will. These
are the main points. Emphasize these
and add such stories as you can invent
of his charities, his public spirit and
his shining example to all poor boys.
and your tale is told.
There. my son, 1 think with these
hints you will be able to write biog-
raphy as well as the best of them. If
you are not successful after what L
nave told YOU, you may as well make
up your mind that biography is not
your forte, and henceforward let fiction
severely alone and contine your efforts
to journalism or some other Avenue
monopolized by truth and veracity.-
Boston Transcript.