The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1883-03-24

beaS to smell il. Pa he squeezed the bulb.
and ABOUT halt ;eacup tuil of water
struck her right in the nose, and some of il
/ Went INTO her Slrangle place, and, o, my.
/ didn't she yell The sisters gathered
| around her, and they said her face was IN
/ pres2uauon, and the paint was coming oil
and they toJk her in the kitchen, aud she
tod them that pa had slapped her with a
GlSh oi Ice cream, and the wimmen told the
munster ana The deacons, and they went 10
/ pa Tor an explanation, aud pa told them IL
was not so, and the minister got Interested
ana got near pa, and pa let the
water 80 aud hit him on the eve. and
then deacon got u dose. and
pa laughed, AMI then the minister. who
USED to go to college and be Il hazer and
box ne got mad and squared off and hit pa
three times right by the eve, and one of the
deacons he kick ii pa, and pa got mad aud
SAID ne could clean ont the whole sheb.nr
and began to pull of his coat, when they
bundled him out doors, and ma got mad to
see pa abused and she left the sociable, and
hau TO stay and eat ice-cream and things
ior the whole family. Pa says that settle.
II Win MN. lie says they havea't got any
more Christian charity in that church than
they have got in tannery. His ewes were
Just getting over being black from the
sparring lessons, and now he has got to 10
through the oysters and beefsteak cure
again. lie says 1t is all owing to me-"
wen, what has all this got to do with
your putting mp signs in front of my store,
Rotten Eggs and 'Frowy Butter Spe-
clalty = said the groceryman, As he took
me BOY by the ear and pulled him around.
on nave got an idea you are smart, and
want you to keep away from here. The
next tlme catch you in here | shall call
the ponce and have you pulled. Now git 20
The boy pushed his ear back on the side
OF his head where it belonged, took out a
cigarette and lit it, and after putting smoke
III the lace of the grocery cat that was sleep-
ing on the cover to the sugar barrel, he
salu; III l was provision pirate that
never SOLD anything except what was spoiled
SO IL couldn't be sold in tirst.cass store
VINO cheated III weights and measure, who
bought only wOrmy figs and decaved cod
nsh who got his butter nom a tat-renderiny
establishment, his cider from A vinegar
factory and his sugar from a glucose
factory, would not insult the son of one
Oh the lrSt families. Why, sir, l could 20
Out on the corner, and when saw custo-
lheIs coming mere | could tell story that
would turn their stomachs and send them
to the grocery on the next corner. Suppose
| should tell them that the cat sleeps in the
dried apple barrel, that the mice made nests
IN the neboy, aud rats run riot i'm the
ra'slnS,and that you never wash your hands
except on Decoration day and Christmas
that you wipe your nose on your shirt
sleeves, and that you have the itch, do you
thlnk your business would be improyedp
suppose | should tell the customers that
you buy sour krout Of wooden-shoe
Polacker, who MAKES it OF pieces of cabbage
that he gets by gathering swill, and YOU
sell that stuff TO respectable people, could
you pay your rent? III should tell them
mat you put lo2engers in the collection
plate at church, and charge the minister
forty cents per pound for eleomarsarine,
you would have to close up. Old man,
am onto you, and now you apologize for
pulling my ear"
The grocery man turned pale during the
recital, and finally said the bad boy was
one OF the best little fellows in this town.
and the boy went out and hung up sign
In 'front.' Girl wanted to cook"