The Mineral argus., 1883-10-25
HUNTING THE SOAP.
A Tale of the Morning.

~ OtilOi moIilHgs Will6 Mr.. Brow
was washing his hands, the cake of soap
slipped out of his fingers, and. striking
the wall. few down behind the wash.
stand.
Mr.. Brown Immediately got on all
fours, and laid bis head on the floor 10
see where the soap was. 1t was right
against the wall, and about as far from
n side Of the washstand as the other.
When Mr.. Brown began to reach IN
der with his arm, he found he could not
get half way to the soap. because he was
on his knees. and his back was almost
broken, and a sharp pain ran up his
neck, and he felt as if he had been
dropping potatoes all day
And then he lay on his chest as though
swimming, and thrust his arm f~ercely
under, and took off about half a ward of
skin. tn s caused Mr.. Brown to foam
at the mouth, and say to himself:
by graciousl this is a test case, and /
am going to see If a cake of soar is going
to beat me, if l have to s ay home from
business all day, and break the wash
stand up in the bargain.
So Mr.. Brown rolled over on his back
and thrust his arm under as cautiously
as though there WAS a hornets nest un-
der the washstand. On, on he went.
and MIR. Brown smiled a smile that had
every possible symptom Of victory in il.
By this time his throat wa full of dust
of the carpet, and frequently he
coughed. But now his finger-the yery
end of his finger-touched the soap, and
that momentaTy touch vibrated through
his soul like a gentle benediction, and
caused a fresh crop of smiles to float as
softly over his features as does the
gentle summer zephyr across a field Of
bearded wheat.
Thai touch had a magic about il that
thrilled Mr.. Brown with divinest melo-
dy. 1t was to him, in short, what
fpring chicken is to the negro, and
found as lovely a plaoe in his dreams as
does the razor in the negro's boot.
Then Mr.. Brown turned on his side
to see the soap that he might grab it;
but when he got on his side, his reach
was shortened, and he couldn't touch
the soap. Then he turned over on his
back, and felt the soap again, and at
tempted to grab it. In doing this he
only sent the soap flying farther back,
and out of reach.
In an ecstasy of rage, he thought he
might get the soap by making a desper-
ate crack at 1t with his hand, and strik-
ing II out OF the floor. So he hauled off
and let fly as hard as he could, and his
hand missed the soap, and few around
like a compass, and struck the stone
paper-weight that was acting in the
place OF the leg that was gone.
Before he could discover how many
fingers had been knocked out of Joint,
he discovered that the paper weight had
been driven against the wall by the force
Of the blow.
Ere he could utter the words that
were on the end of his tongue, the wash
tilted and upset the basin of water
on him; and while the water was in his
eyes and ears, the basin followed. and
lay on his stomach like a tombstone, and
pretty near knocked the breath out of
him.
Before he could express himself. al
there were about four thousand
words inside of him struggling to get out,
drawers flew out, and emptied a lot
If tooth-pOwder, and razors, and lather-
ng-brushes on him. Then the doors of
he washstand flew swiftly open, and
aised a couple Of Jumps on him that he
will carry about for several weeks to
ONE.
After this Mr.. Brown turned over on I
lis chest, and almost inhaled a iather-
ng brush, he was breathing so hand. q
lie saw the o distinctly. The o d
aw him, too. He looked upon it as the s
looks upon the nous hat is out of a
Ter reach. :
And Mr.. Brown grinned iendishly at ?
soap and said: I
Just come out two inches from the
all, and give me a chance to grab you. .
dare you to ONE out an even inch, =
Ou mean, miserable, hye-cent cake of $
pap. So you'll take a dare. will you? "
+ l were only half your size l wouldn't o
a dare; | would face the music. Fl
on are a spiritess, plebeian cake of b
are only ft TO wash a dog n
it'll. l believe you are only an lmita- t
on OF what you claim 10 be, you" a
Here Mrs. Brown suddenly opened C,
door against Mr.. Browns head, end &c
id. Ell
"Why in the world don't you come p
own? The breakfast is getting cold"
=,
piled Mr.. Brown, as he sat up and ran y
6 fingers through his hair, to get cut ca
e razOrs and lathering brushes. vi
Whats the matter, anyhow, demand sc
Mrs. Brown. "
81 want to get that cake of soap out W
I'm under the washstand." W
"Well, why don't your" inquired Mrs eI
rown. pt
Because l can't" replied Mr.. Brown. an
can't reach it; / can not get there" 81
Then Mrs. Brown said: Ell
'Do you want me to get it7" ot
II DO" replied Mr.. Brown, with a po
in of contempt. ih'
Gan right" said the wife, who there.
CHnanNrr NaFfgA Nha w-arLaN,.l Ont i