Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1883-09-08
Ar. and Mrs. Spoopendyke.

Ar. anu mrs. SpO0pendyke.
Ny dear whimpered Mr. Spoopendyie
hobbling into his wife room and throwing
hima .f into a hair with d.soa.e expres
zion Of despair On bis vissge My dear,
there is something the matter with my foo',
and | cant make oat what the ;Kaub'e
is."
May be it's stone bruise, sng,es.-d
Mrs Spoopendyke.
That's all you know 40 at it, grunt4d
Mr. Spoopendyke, who was not to be pu,
off with so small disaster as a stone
bruise 'Itel you that | have got some
trouble with my foot that threaters my life,
and you stand around there Ike cork in
bottle, and talk about it as though ! had
lot got one lek in my coffin as far as the
hip
Are you SIRE it isn't q corn? hazarded
Mrs Spoopendyke "Somenmas corns hart
worse than anything else but never heard
Of people dying Of them
No. it isn't corn!" ho~lrd Mr. Spoop~
wife with mingled expres 3 on of rage and
pain. What dye think this foo, Is, any~
way an agricultural cistrict7 When did
you ever hear o. corn tnat reached from
the heel 10 the knee? Which Of your fr ends
ever had corn that hurt clear to the ear
and Mr. SpoopeuI,ke touch.d his foot
carefully TO the Il ,or and eyed bis wife
narrowly to see if che motto the expires ion
Of agony on his fare.
And II It acts that way 1t mus be bun
ion ex,lalmed Mrs Spoopendyke trium
phant'y. All you have got te dois to take
your boot. of and put your slipper, on
That's it. yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke
hauling his boot of and firing it across the
room. W nen rnau is dying OF iLtl an a.
tory rheumatism, it's a bInion You We
20, it A pam that smarts in the toe, and
runs to the K cf the neck and ties In a
hard knot over the spine is s hunon
Show me the bunIon 7 he contiL ued, stick
ger at tie offending foot. Take this digit
in your lily white hand aud place it tenderly
on the dod gasted bunion before | die and
: forget what killed me Pick it cut oi the
surrounding anal omyr heyelled, wriggling
his boot aud bouncing up aud down in his
S chair in delrium OF rage Pluck the
bur ion from its mountain iastness on the
; roof Of Spoopendy ke and hold it up to The
! gaze Of the same
\ Does it hurt p merced Mrs Spoor
endyke, soothing y.
D Hurt roared Mr. Spoopendy Ike
: springing from his chair aud dancin!
: around tie room like flea 'Ot course i
q don't 1t tckles Hurt, lt'a picnic
Say my dear aud his voice was low ant
) tender Say my dear, instead Of goll < Il
n the country this summer we Il lay in a stocl
g of bunous an1 wear fem around for ou
q health and r, creation! Hurt + he shrieked
II breaking out in new spot. Hurt
K is, bunion 1t took you to hit i, Whe
Q get time to fit you up with a full beal
d and bottle Of whisky / N going TO start
q dissensary with you +: you'd only im
e rove your mind until .ou reached III
IS standard OF intelligence Of moderate don
Q key you d only need a stolen corpse and
70 bad smell to be a first class ne !ical CO
e lege
D Say dear said Mrs spoc pepdyke, uh
had been carefully exp ORIG her hus band
r boot say, dear think have found Oh
what the trouble is 1t ISN'T button aft
er all Here's a peg sticking out here about
e quarter O. al inch II you will have III
81 taken cut Con, b, l.eve you will suffer al
r. more
n Mr. Spoopeniyke janu Cd hs ha, ov'
lie his eyes showed his iee, into his slipper
grabbed the obnoxious BOOT and started +
tee door With wl,hcrirs look az bis ~
as he went ou..
80 Il dont care, muynured MI >lc,
J. endyhe 8 lie from; door slannei vin!
IL t.:els i cont care Il lie has i, tsasn j
be has !. alnt; hist | va. right. and #
doesn i, viii hurt him I'll, h dies.
don't aro~ which viii % he worse fer T.
I, ou, be viii tase to 90 on or the othe.
:, Br3ohlvn Eagle
y Science Pints the Way.