Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1883-06-23
WIT AND HunoR.

will continue to cross on the ferry.
There is plausible air to the story
that Washington carpenters stole the
civil service rules.
The young man with small salary
and pretty girl is beginning to get
worried. The church strawberry
festival draws near.
The black-burying business will
soon be becoming in the South. Sew
eral negro murderers will be hanged
down there in few weeks.
There is in piscatorial publication
an article entitled: "Why our fish
disappear?" This is good subject
for debate.
Peter Cooper, the great novelist,
has passed away--a man whose mem
ory deserves to be revered by all.
"What is so rare as a day in June!"
Well, now and then day in April is
decidedly underdone, and some of
the March days are really raw.
ooh, DEAR" exclaimed Edith to her
doll, II do wish you would sit still.
1 never saw such an uneasy thing in
my life Why don't you act like
grown people and be still and stupid
for while?"
Dixey, who made such q fine Lord
Chancellor in '1olanthe," began as
the forelegs of the heifer in "Evan-
geline." There's no knowing what
progress can be made under the
influence of willing ambition.
| An article recently appeared in a
by her Husband" There was large
sale of the paper that day, the rumor
becoming current that a scandalous
article appeared in that issue.
II have very dear lover seventeen
years old What shall send him for
a birthday PRESENT. Lucy--"Send
him a moustache- cup, DEAR" Con-
suit the advertising columns of some
college paper if you cannot afford
new one.
They were discussing an elope-
ment, and one lady, turning to her
friend, said: "Don't you believe it
would kill you if your husband was
TO run away with another woman?"
1T might" was the reply; "great
Joy sometimes kills"
A melancholy poet asks, Where
are the Springs of long ago?" Egad,
old man, trying to discover the where
abouts of the Spring of the present
year is trouble enough for us, with
out going back into the past to look
mp others.
Jupiter, having created the mos
quito, the flea and all the vile orders
of the entozoa and the epizoa, paused
for moment in perplexity. "Now,
what in thunder shall / make for
them to prey uponi" he asked himself
musingly. Suddenly bright idea
struck him. He made mani
Unanswerable: Priest-.Pat I
understand you are going to be mar
ried again" Disconsolate widower
-"Yis, your riv'rence." Priest-tBut
your wife, Pat, has only been dead
two weeks" d. WIS, yer riv'-
renee; but shure amt she as dead
now as she iver will be?"
mo, my son, a knowledge of history
isn't necessary to a mans shining
conversation. All that is requisite is
a glib tongue reinforced by copious
cheek Talk away as fast as you like;
the faster the better. Not one person
in hundred will know whether you
are right or not"
A married man in Rochester, ac-
cording to the Post of that city, took
young lady to the theatre the other
night, and after the first act excused
himself for q moment, as he wanted
to 90 out s'to SEQ a man." He didn't
come back. Instead of seeing a man
he saw a woman. It was his wife
waiting for him at the door.
Some anxious to-be conspicuous
young men are wearing white waist
coats with dress coat and trousers,
and the waistcoat has alleged gold
buttons in vulgar profusion down the
front They say it ia tho fashion
abroad. "How much a fool who has
been sent to roam, exceeds q fool
who has been kept at home"
Il has. been discovered that the
late g. Washington was no better
than q modern trustee or superin.
tendent of Massachusetts public
institution is getting to be supposed
| to be. It is alleged that he owes the
Government $161, ,339, with interest,
on unsettled accounts. The interest
will ruin him.
Apropos of fashionable stationerya
writer says: "Birch bark parer,
good imitation of the genuine thing,
is novelty. and shrimp pink and
turquoise blue are con9dered admis-
sible in point of color, especially
when words of hope and promises Of
constancy are to be inscribed on their
fair surface.
Prince Bismarck is said to have
been "much affected" by Gortscha-
koff's death. "Beaconsfeld and
Gortschakoff," he remarked to those
around him-'the only men whom /
could beeomingly recognize a. an
tagonists- Disappeared My
turn is coming!' Since then Bis
marck has recognized the American
flag as an antagonist.
It is said that Esop, the poet, once
paid 100000 for q single supper.
This seems to indicate that the versi-
fiers of those days received as much
per line for their productions az the