Daily Republican., 1883-09-07
HUI MOROUS.
FOLLOWING THE FASHIONS.

1T. -. All. -,
n "a .n" 49,, ~" na ~ s 70 NV So y
pray how many do you own?" "Onl,
seven, miss; but Use savin' my wages
to buy another" "Seven Of what
use ~ seven silk dresses to you Why
I don't own NO many AZ that" "'Spec'
not, miss" said the smiling darkey
lyon doesn't need 'em 80 much DIS
does. You quality white folks every
body knows IL quail y; but we better
most kind Of colore'l pussons has &c
dress smart to distinguish ourselv es
from common niggers."
NV m-.. o. ..,..
about two pounds Of ice, halfa pint OF
water, one straw berry one piece ofpine
apple, one CROSS section Of a lime, one
ratum Of an orange, one medium ele.
walton ola lemon, some mint and a
spoon and two straws and Il fly, and put
them all in q goblet, and that's mint
julep. Oh, yes, We believe there is a
salt-spOon ul Of brandy to 60 in then,
somewhere; but you jnst go and order
the julep at any fashionable restaurant
and see II you can catch the brandy
i;t, XII. hard ~ ,,st;na gnu "
'''O '
Some gentlemen dining at table
d'hote, the conversation turned upon
oysters, which several of the company
contended showed a sagacity that ar
gned they must have got brains. A
young man who had taken an unduly
prominent part in the conversation, to
the annoyance Of an elderly gentlemen,
his neighbor, turned to the latter and
said Do you believe that oysters
nave Dralns Cer."'niy ! 10, SIT,
was tns prompt anu po,hNA IeP'y'
SLICE 'hey k"o" VIE" W 'nu' up
A man went into a drug store and
asked for Something 70 cure a head.
ache. The druggist held a bottle of
hartsborn to his nose. and he was near.
Nv oyerpowered by its uupgency, Az
soon AZ he recovered he began to rail at
the druggist. and threatened to punch
his head, "But didn't it help your
headache ." asked the apothecary.-
" Help my headache" gasped the man.
g haven't any headache. It's my wife
that's got the headache.
r,,,;s, .,,e, r;.;,;,, Noun.
,,a an !."s n .u =, ms .,'it,'
e. n.;' enksoa - 'o sa', mra,;,n; m mun
na'.ss' anu aa.a 10" p' s"m ~
,v di%n,t c.ra re- ,n"ch sar
,". ao"s Vo omn', ,.,, me : s,nnasa
70 i ~, ., .u o o" , .. hal %" pR T%s
V; no We" "e .,,l H." f.'s sooonIs
dou6tfully. and then answered: az
amt much on history. but to the best
of nv recollection the general was a
lion.tamer.
rh.,. u,s m .,.,h.,, ono. vho
Lnow hou We" 90 nlav ,ha p;ann and nsaj
n. n" .v" uJ" ;. ~ p' o onu p Nv forainn
I.nd nv. 10, vhan h. was ;ust uo;nn
-, ,"u ~. ~. 10y u f,n,n :" W" E.1s,' eu
"sw p n;amo he snad.nlv namssa and
began to weep bitterly. "What is the
matter with YOU. Calibap 2" asked his
keeper. The elephant pointed with his
trunk to the ivory keys. The poor
brute had recognize, d the teeth of his
mother,
,.r,h.,+ n, N.v vo-t wbo w,s
~, thn ,,ara. " hnnL rmn,o, ,ooL a
wall u,,h H. cosh;ar whp baa Grown
r;nh and hn;it n 6na bomse in n fashion.
able avenue, In his pride of heart he
showed his EMPLOYER his palatial resi-
lence and asked triunphantly
f" What do YOU think ofthat 80 ~
think" said the merchant, after
pause, "that You had better take my
business. and let me act al cashier"
"Ai,,. so,.u do,,.rs b;,h for ,odoino
and hraaIfosto maa vhat dsnar1ins
" .ran u"" IL" No We T;n", h rsva.e
stage iunuiTeI Of the clerk at one of
the LEADING hotels at that place. on
beino told that was the amount of his
Hill. Vas II ia a little high. Init we
might as wall have il "a the stage rob.
hers y was the nlacid answer Of the
clerk "a he receinted a hill
WV.
nen YOU ousui,' '''; &c , ,n ~
were all a drearv Hank before him and
h a annorentlv th;nkino whether after
ali iife is really worth the living Won
can make IN vonr mind that man
thouoht be would he smart and nush
a In wn.mnwer an hour before break.
fast tha, morn;nr II aiwav works that
wav
. uoy do.u var ,;,tl. how co,,a on ."
,sl cd Wbanyjondia Raxter If a mem.
hor ~ rio IHnet mua om tbe cut.st
iitt,e vnn ahhsr seea
Wo oor s,,ar lilo a trnorer cb.ws far.
hooLar t;.. ,in Mans ~ iogs, rail. and
" 4 n"ss Ia tend school, ~ mNiyhv
be,. too ynung tn ',e,l .cbonl
He amt prowed enouph tn larn nntfin