The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1883-05-05
Why HE CHENED.
How Cruel Brute of Man Torment.
ed Delicate Maiden.

She was large, fiashy and coarse, and
more than all these, she was fat. When
she entered a. Highland car yesterday all
the passengersslooked at her, and fell to
reckoning up the profits of travelling
show with her of the leading attraction. In
| less than five minutes every inmate but
one had made himself a retired million
aire, and was sitting on the piazza OF his
country residence smoking fifty cent CT
CARS by the mile. This one exception sat
opposite the leading attraction and chew
ed tobacco, with look of heavenly res
ignaton on his face, such as school boys
who are having their milk teeth extract
ed are supposed to wear as an exclusive.
Among the crowd of awe-struck mortals
he sat and chewed the end of narcotic
content and spat upon the rug, living
embodiment of the great and only undaz-
zled.
The leading attraction gathered her
skirts around her and cast look at him
that would have gone through a cowhide
boot and two pair of stockings and a
withered cork leg.
Everybody expected TO see him shrive1
to a mummy, but he didn't even wflt-he
only ehewedand smiled.
Fellow" said she, yon chew tobacco?
He nodded.
why do you spit in my presence p
Because my mouth is full.
T''I'll not endure it; I'll cali the conduc-
tor
Pray don't disturb yourself; if madam
wishes to get off | shall be pleased to stop
The car.
She looked Calling guns and dynamite
at him, but said nothing. He spoke
again, and she did not signal the conduc
Ell L.
If madam will listen l shall be pleased
to tell her why am obliged 30 indulge
in this habit that is so hateful to her. /
do it to escape a worse = indeed,
a much worse fate; madam as You are
now, SO once was l."
She started and said, What do you
mean p
II was obese
She looked scornful.
Il was polysarcous.
She looked interested.
Il was, say, sinquescent.
She was fascinated
I'm other words, / was fat"
And mad was no name for how she
looked. She tried to catch the conduc
tors eye, but he was busy staring at some
girls in a window on Washington street,
and did not see her; she made frantic
GlOEt 10 get UP nut tut was III tho-
ton and she was firmly wedged, so that
she was obliged TO listen.
Yes, madam, was almost as bad off
as you are now Like you, + ate chalk
and drank vinegar: l took arsenic and
beIladona in large doses. but they did me
no good. and IN few years I should have |
been as fieshy as you are if | he'd not got
relief from tobacco. Every time / en-
tafed horse car they called for another |
horse; my picture was stuck up at all the |
local fairs. and labeled The Prize Porker;
the soap boy used to yell grease an extra |
half hour under my window every morn
ing, and one time when / was sick, the
boss of an oleomargarine factory called
upon my wife and tried to get mortgage
On my remains. He said he had a prom
Sc of yours. and if he could get claim
IN mine all the associated creameries
night go to-hellol must you go so soon?
Wen, good by Take my advice and go
% chewing 1t will help you when every
hing else fails.
The great undazzled put in another
luid and looked dreamily out on the
common, and four old maids with paper
parcels and bandhoxes anne in and occu
1ied the seat left vacant by the leading
.ttracti0n;