Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1883-09-21
The Revolving Mule,

'The last time / was in Washington,
said veteran army officer to cores
pondent, "those fellows up at the Navy
Department were in quite Il huff over an
effort looking to change in their uni
forms, and there was MS great II commo-
tion as the one that existed during Prcsi-
dent Pierce's administration, when they
talked Of changing the styles of uniforms
in the army. That event was attended by
some very amusing incidents, but the
most laughable was the part taken in il
by the late Captain Derby, or John Phu-
nix, MS he was known in journalistic and
literary circles. He was lieutenant at
the time and stationed in California. jeff
Davis, who was Secretary Of War, issued
II general invitation to officers of the ar
my who were skilful draughtsmen to send
IN suggestions for the new uniform which
it had been decided to adopt. One such
invitation was sent to each officer. Lieut..
Derby was very ready with his pcn-a
really ingenious artist. In reply he sent
to the War Department, not exactly de-
sign for a new uniform, but n peculiar
addition to the old uniform, the amend
ment consisting merely of a ring attach
ed to the seat of the trousers OF each pri-
vate soldier. Each officer was to carry,
hook in the end, like shepherds crook.
The pole and the ring enabled officers to
keep privates from running away III bat
tie. Fugitives could be easily caught by
it and brought back straggers could be
kept in line. Moreover, the ring would
be very useful in the cavalry service to
fasteu soldiers to the saddle, to prevent
them from falling off, and in the artillery
tn "a Far
draught purposes, in the absence of
mules. These specifications were accom-
panied by the most grotesque pictures,
representing officers hauling back cow
ardly recruits by the serviceable ring,
cavalry securely fastened to the tops OF
their steeds by the same device, the artil-
lerymen harncssed to cannon, drawing
them through narrow deiilcs or up IN ac-
clivity inaccessible to mules. On another
sheet of bristol l-board was an illustration
i'll gaudy colors of "Dcrbys Rotary Mule
Howitzer," accompanied by n written iu-
scription to this eilect: : "Upon the back
Of II young and vigilant mule strap
mountain howitzer the muz1le pointing
toward the tail. A similar piece of orll-
nance is fastened with iron bands under
the animals abdomen, the muZzle aimed
between his forelegs to the front. There
are four gunners-two to each piece-and
'persuader,' rs he is called, whose buHi-
ness it is to persuade the mule TO stand
firm and not retreat by stuifing him with
oats, after each discharge, with tiu-salls-
age-stutfer When Indians or other leglt-
innate game appear i'll view, the mule Is,
by crank movement on the tail, brought
to the front. 1t don't make any differ
ence which way the mule faccs-and here
is where my patent comes in--onc gun Is
always pointing toward the front. At
the command Fire ! the top howitzer is
discharged. The recoil throws the mule
on his back bringing the second gun into
position. This is discharged, which sud
denly throws the mule on his feet again.
when the gunners swab out the mules
throat with hay and reload.
"The illustrations which accompanied
these directions-in brown, red, blue and
gold, and still on file in the war Depart
ment-representcd the rotary mule in
seven different attitudes, looking content
ed and happy all the time. This was Ict
to be outrageous audncity on the part OF
a subaltern The clerks i'll the War De-
partment laughed at the funny letter i'm
moderately, but their superlors looked
serious. Jefferson Davis, the Secretary,
was terribly indignant and he resolved 10
defend his wounded dignity. Charges
and specifications were drawn up against
Lieutenant Derby, and the officers were
actually named for his court-murtal when
William r. Marcy, Secretary OF State
n man of considerable sense and self
poise, said to the Secretary of War
Now see here, General Davis, don't You
do it. This Derby has undoubtedly Il
superiluous development of humor, but
he is shrewd and ingenious aud really II
fine draughtsman. He has valuable quail
tiles. You can organize court that will
convict him, but You will be the butt OF
ridicule on account Of it all your life.
Better file the suggestions of the crook
and-ring and the lively rotary mule aud
say nothing And he did it. Poor Derby
subsequently became an inmate OF an i'll
sane asylum and later died by suicide"