davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17
Why Josh Split Refused to Drink
Liquor.

''Boys, 7 won't drink without you
take what do, said old Josh Split,
in reply to an invitation. He was a
topper of long standing and abundant
capacity, and the boys looked at him in
astonishment.
1.-THE idea, zone of them replied, ''that
you should prescribe conditions is laugh
able. Perhaps you want to force one of
your abominable mixtures on us. You
are chief of the mixed drinkers, and
won't agree to your conditions. ;"
HE wants to run us in on castor-oil
and brandy" said the Judge, who would
willingly have taken the oil to get the
brandy.
''No, I'm square," replied Split.
''Take my drink and Tn with you"
The boys agreed and stood along the
bar. Every one turned to Split, and
regarded him with interest.
"Mr. Bartender" said Split, ''give
me glass of water"
"What! water!" the boys exclaimed.
eyes, water. It's a new drink on
me, | admit, and l expect it's scarce
article. Lemme tell you how [ came to
take it. Several days ago, as passel
of us went fishing, we took fine chance
of whisky along, an had heap of fun.
Long toward evenin' l got powerful
drunk, an crawled under a tree an
went to sleep. The boys drank up all
the whisky an came back to town.
They thought it good joke cause
they'd left me out thar drunk, an told
it around town with a mighty buster
My son got hold of the report an told
it at home. Well, 1 laid under that tree
all night an when | woke in the morn
in thar sot my wife right thar by me-
She didn't say word when | woke up,
but she sorter turned her head away. |
got up and looked at her. She still
didn't say nothin', but could see that
she was chokin'.
81 wish | had suthin to drink" SIS I.
"Then she tuck a cup what she fotch
with her, and went down to whar a
spring billed up, an dipped up a cupful
an fotch it to me. Jes as she was
handin' it ter me she leaned over ter
hide her eyes, and | seed tear drap in
the water. l tuck the cup an drunk
the water and the tear, an raisin' my
hands / vowed that would never after
drink my wife's tears agin; that had
been drinkin' them for the last twenty
years, an that was goin' to stop. You
boys know who it was that left me
drunk. You was all in the gang. Give
me another glass of water, Mr.. Bar
tender D rkGnS02O Traveller.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17
HOME, FARM AND GARDEN.

"A castor-oil plant placed in a room
infested with flies viii Immediately ex-
terminate them.
The leaves from early cabbages may
be fed to cows and chickens. They
should be given to cows directly after
milking, about a peck at time.
Weeds are not only enormous feed
ers, but are intolerable drinkers. They
absorb all of the moisture of the earth
and rob all vegetation within reach.
-Cabbages are grown IN some parts
of England as a forage crop, and are
considered one of the best green feeds
to stimulate milk production. Chicago
Journal
Remove the seed shoots of the
rhubarb plant as fast as they appear.
Allowing them to mature greatly weak
ems the plant, which shows itself in
subsequent years by the slender stalk.
For cream toast: Cut stale bread
half an inch thick and dip it in sweet
cream. Fry delicate brown in butter.
Serve plain at breakfast or spread with
any kind of jam or jelly and use for
dessert. Y. Herald.
To obtain the largest yield of pick
les they have to be picked as soon as
they are of proper size, and none should
be allowed to go to seed. If seed is to
be saved q few vines from which no
pickles are to be picked should be re-
served for this purpose. A single vine
produces only one or two cucumbers. -
Exchange.
-Broiled mushrooms: Choose fine
large ones, pick and remove the stalk,
peel, and then broil them over clear
fire; put them on dish with the hollow
side lppermost. Beatup piece of butter
with some finely-chopped parsley, some
pepper, salt and a little lemon-juice;
put a small piece in the hollow of each
mushroom and serve.-Rostom Trans
crlpt.
"A burdock allowed. to go to seed
will produce many thousands of seeds.
They should be destroyed, however, be-
fore they blossom. The surest way
is to spade out the roots, which finishes
them at once, or they may be cut off
just below the surface of the ground
with a sharp hoe. In this case 90 over
them several times at intervals of about
three weeks, cutting off all that have
sent out new leaves. Prairie Farmer.
Farmers often object to orchard
grass because it is apt to stool out and
form clumps. DR.. w. j. Beal says that
this objection has arisen from the prac-
tice of using too little seed in seeding.
If the seed is applied literally and a
continuous sod formed at once, the
clumps will not occur. The seed should
not be mixed with clover seed or other
green seed if fine even sod is desired.
-CurFant Shrub: Take ten pounds of
currants and mash them on the stems.
Turn over them three pints of boiling
water and scald over the fire for ten
minutes. Strain through bag, or a
fine sieve, and add seven pounds of
white sugar. Boil for fifteen minutes,
Swimming well. Bottle while hot and
cork tightly. When needed to use. turn
three teaspoonfuls of the shrub into a
tumbler and fill up with pounded ice
and water.-The Household.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17
The Distressed Wolf.

A Wolf had the misfortune to break
his leg, and being unable to hunt for
his food, was soon reduced to the verge
of starvation. One day as he was utter
ing lamentation Hare came along and
inquired the trouble.
II am almost at the point of death, y
was the reply. II haven't had NOR
sci to eat for days.
''Indeedn' exclaimed the Hare. sI'll
go ct once to the Hyena about it.
When the Hyena was consulted he
stroked his chin refectively and finally
said:
care you certain that he is Wolf of
good morals?n
''No.n
"Well. then, I'd better see the Lion
about it before we do anything. y
The Lion heard the story, winked in
a wise way, and remarked:
There ought to be committee APP
pointed to investigate his character. I'll
see the Stork and mention the matter. !"
The Stork was informed that a Wolf
lay dying of starvation, and she replied:
"Well, well, that's bad I'll see the
Ok this very afternoon, and have him
decide whether we oAght to send in
tracts or chicken broth. ?
The Ok was duly informed, -and the
next day he walked over to see what
should be done in the case. Arriving at
the lair he found the Wolf dead. and the
Owl had already been there and written
on she rocks the
MORAL:
philanthropy is thin tonic for an
empty stomach. - Detroit Free Press.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17
Freaks Of MaIa.4a.

All the doctors agree that ..trade ia
good and that malaria is the back
bone of their business. They say, to
use professional figure, that malaria
is getting its finger into every patho-
logical pie, that almost no distemper
can be correctly diagnosed if this mys-
terious poison is kept out of considera-
ton. To call it ''poison, y however, is
very unprofessional, for the doctors
themselves candidly profess ignorance
of its real nature. About all that can
with certainty be predicted of it is its
fondness for off days, and, OCCASION
ally, for off weeks. A local practitioner
was recently called to a boy who had
high fever and all the symptoms of
pleurisy. The doctor prescribed and
on the following day was much graft
led, though considerably surprised, to
lind his patient comfortable, He told
the family that he was no longer needed
and went away. But the next day he
was called again and found the boy
suffering as he had forty-eight hours
before. The doctor at once prescribed
for malaria, " and the boy, though he
suffered on the sixth day, passed the
eighth comfortably and got well. The
same physician was recently called to
man who declared that he had the ''rheu-
matiz. But when he spoke of having
comfortable days and admitted an oc-
casional chilliness the doctor recognized
his old friend of many faces and pro-
ceeded to exercise him with the usual
formula. Another physician has pa
tent whom he says malaria, but not in
the form of fever and ague, has reduced
to low stage of an@mia and caused a
dangerous enlargementof a vital organ
Another of his patients has just recov-
cred from a severe attack of so-called
facial neuralgia, in which malaria was
indicated by the periodicity of the at
tacks and by the disease yielding to
qulnlne. 1t is by no means certain that
all these distempers are rightly ascribed
to the one evil agent yc1ept malaria,
but there is no doubt that many people
in this city are strangely ailing with
dyspeptic turns, with biliousness, with
unaccountable headaches and with fits
of languor, and that the doctors are
saying to each patient, ''You have the
malaria, sir, and need not hope for
speedy recovery. ''-SprinqJfeld mass.
Republican.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17
Care Of Farming Tools.

This is the season when the farmer
who stored his haying tools negligently
last season can reflect proitably upon
the cost of such practice. The hay
rake was perhaps stored with loose
bolts half worn or broken spokes or fell
loes, and perhaps broken teeth. There
was no further need, and there would
be time enough to make all necessary
repairs before another haying. Such
never proves to be the case-work of
this nature never finds a suitable day.
The old moving machine performed its
duty during last haying, but somewhat
worn it showed weakness in different
parts. Broken or lost bolts were re-
placed, often bunglingly, for farmers
are not skillful machinists. Broken
guards, sections, track-clearers, or por-
tons of the gearing were replaced as
well as possible at the time in order to
finish haying. This way of mending
valuable machinery never pays, but it
is often practiced. There may be times
when make-shift repairing seems to be
necessary, but at the very first oppor-
tunity any necessary repairing should
be done in the most permanent manner.
If haying tools which have been bad
ly used during haying can not be prop
erly fixed up shortly after haying,
time, even in winter, can be found for
properly fixing them up without put
ting it off until just before the next
haying. The farmer should keep a
good supply of bolts and rivets Of the
sizes used in his farm machinery, and
it will then be easy to repair accidents
properly. There should also be a good
supply of the more common extras 0
mowers and reapers, such as guards,
sections and pitman bolts. This should
all have been attended to before the
commencement of the present having
season. All machine and haying tools
should have been thoroughly examined
so that any delay in hay making could
have been avoided. - Country Gentle.
man.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17
Noisy Army Worms.

The leaves on some of the horse
chestnut trees in front of the Parker
House have recently been devoured by
canker or some other worms, only the
nervous framework being left One of
the guests of the house the other night
heard, as he supposed, noise in his
room, which he THOUGHT might be occa-
stoned by some animal in the room, and
he arose to see what it was, but could
find nothing within. AS the noise con-
tinued he sat down at the window to
ascertain whence it came, and traced it
to the trees, being, in fact, the sound of
the worms devouring tho leaves. We
have been told by one of car physicians
that, being called out one night to at
tend patient, the owner of the house
where he stopped asked him to step
out about two o'clock to listen to the
army-worms in an adjacent field. He
was incredulous, but, on going out,
heard distinctly the continuous noise
made by the deyouring army as it con-
sumed the farmers crop.-Nee0 Bedford
(lNaSs. Standard.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17
THE FLAG or THE PRESS.


It is not of silk or of bunting.
This flag that all tyrants abhor;
1t has no heraldic devices,
OF sanguine, gules, azure, vert, or.
Its colOrs are sable and argent;
It's elements paper and ink,
The spirits OF knowledge and freedom,
And whatever such spirits may think.
And its heraldry's simple enough;
just so many columns per page;
But in them is fought without ceasing
The battle that Freedom must wage.
The warfare of good against evil,
OF weakness in suit against might,
Or ignorance seeking for knowledge,
OF wrong in contention with right.
1t fiutters in senate and palace;
Is found In the workingman's hand.
More free than the emblem OF freedom,
1t dares every wrong to withstand;
1t cares not for King nor for Kaiser;
No ukase can fold it away;
When it urges the conflict of Freedom,
Then kingdoms and Kings pass away.
Fly over the world, paper BanneR
In thy sable and argent dressl
For the banner of Freedom is freest,
When it flies with the Flag Of the Press
Fly over the armies of knowledgel =
Go forth with the armies of right
In cottage, in palace, in senate,
Flyl Banner Of Freedom and Light
Little b. Barr, in ". Y. Independent.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17
Temperance Reading /.
NOTHING AND soMETRING.

It is nothing TO me, the Beauty said
NTH careless toss of her pretty head;
The man is weak, if he can't refrain
From the cup you say is fraught with pain.
1t was something to her in after years.
when ner eyes were drenched with burning
And she watched in lonely grief and dread.
And startled to hear staggering tread.
1t is nothing to me, the Mother said;
/ have no fear that my boy viii tread
The downward path of sin and shame
And crush my heart and darken his name.
It was something to her when that only son
From the path of right was early won,
And madly cast in the flowing bowl
A ruined body and sin-wrecked soul.
It is nothing to me the Merchant said,
AS over his ledger he bent his heads
m BUSY to-day with tare and tret,
ana nave no time to fume and fret.
It was something to him when over the wire
a message came from a funeral pyre-
drunken conductor had wrecked train,
ana MS wlIe and child were among the slain.
It is nothing to me, the young man cried;
IN MS eye was q flash of Scorn and pride
heed not the dreadful things We tell,
can rule myself, know full wen.
Twas something to him when in prison he Law.
The victim of drink, life ebbing away
As he thought of his wretched child and wife
And the mournful wreck of his wasted life
It is nothing to me the voter said;
The party S loss is my greatest dread
Then gave his vote for the LIQUOR trade.
Though hearts were crushed and drunkards
made.
1t was something to him in after life,
When his daughter became drunxard's wife
And her hungry children cried for bread
And trembled to hear their fathers tread
Is it nothing for us to idly sleep
While the cohorts of death their vigils keep,
To gather the young and thoughtless in
And grind in our midst grist of sin?
1t is something-yes for us all to stand,
And clasp by faith our Savior's hand
To learn to labor live and fight
On the side of God and changeless right
= Hrs ErnnceS r " Hnl1ler in Tllin1l Sin11nI
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17

Senator Edmunds is home from the
Pacific coast. and is very enthusiastic
about the Puget Sound scenery. He
says the glaciers at Mount Raiier are
grander than anything he ever saw in
Switzerland. - Boston Journal
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17

There is now no living member Of
the group pictured by Carpenters cele-
brated painting Of Signing the Procla-
nation" Montgomery Blair was the
eighth and last,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17
When 1t Is Not COWardly to Run.

With drink, on some temperaments,
one glass will mount to the brain in
stantly, weakening the power of will,
affecting the self-control, and the man
is not the same. The appetite being
then reused takes hold Of him and
drags him down to its fearful embrace.
The only safety for such man is total
abstinence; and to man who has been
a victim, bound by the chords of this
fierce desire, it will be a life-struggle,
when at times the old appetite comes
over him like wave. Let him do any
thing but drink, let him even run-it is
not cowardly to run.
| knew. q man who was strongly
tempted, and he escaped. He was a
printer, and working near q window
opposite which was the "Shades," he
saw persons coming out wiping their
lips, having taken their "eleyen
O'clock" He began to want it, and
grew nervous; the desire increased;
every fiber of his system seemed to
cry out for it, when he dropped his
form of type, and, in his vexation at
the accident, took off his apron, put on
his coat with the intention of getting
drunk; when, as he said, he thought of
wife and children, of former ruin and
disgrace, and present prosperity and
reputation, and rushed out, and ran
hatless through the streets towards
home
"Wife shut me up! for mercy's sake,
shut me up, and don't let me out. Ask
no questions, but shut me up''
She was wise wife. and locked him
in a room, and there he remained for
thirty hours before he dared venture out
to work again.
A lawyer who had been temperate
told me: g have been obliged to fore
go all light literature. can hardly
read a newspaper"
"Why?" Ireplied.
81 have not tasted drink for two
years, but if read of drinking l want
it. have paced my office with hands
clenched, and the sweat standing in
beads on my forehead, as [ battled the
horrible desire to get a drink when |
have read of a man drinking a glass OF
wine"
Another gentleman told me he had
not drank for twenty-eight years; but,
said he: 81 have some fifty men work
ing for me, and when l take the breath
of a man who has been drinking, want
it-yes, sometimes want it so have
ridden miles on horseback to rid myself
of the desire that seemed to cry through
my whole system, give! give! when I
have taken the breath of man who has
been drinking. John B. Cough.
THE CoRN's VoIcE. What, fellow
citizens" asked Senator Voorhees,, of
Indiana, addressing a mass-meeting,
'will you do with your large crops of
corn, If Prohibition should become the
olicy of the State?'' sRaise more
ogs and less crime and misery
promptly replied a Granger. That farm
er evidently sympathized with "a Voice
from the Corn:''
" I was made to be eaten, and not to .bs
drank:
To be husked in barn, not soaked in tanh
/ come as blessing when put in mill,
AS blight and a curse when run through
still.
Make me up into loaves, and your children
are fed;
In bread I'm servant the eater shall rule,
Then remember my warning: my strength
I'll employ,
Il eaten to strengthen, if drank to destroy"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17
The Vain Old Woman.

There was once an old woman so
very poor that she had no house, but
lived in a hollow tree. One day she
found a piece of money lying in the
road. Full of JOY at her good fortune,
she began to consider what she should
buy with the money.
eff | get anything to eat" she said
to herself, 81 shall quickly devour it,
and that will be the end of the matter.
That will not do at all. If l buy clothes,
people will call me proud, and that will
not do; and besides have no closet to
keep them in. All! l have it! will buy
broom. and then everybody that I
meet will think / have a house. A
broom is the thing. A broom it shall
be-"
So the old woman went into the next
town and bought a broom. She walked
proudly along with her purchase, look
ing about her all the time to see if peo-
pie noticed her and looked envious,
thinking of her house. But as no one
seemed to remark her, she began to be
discontinued with her bargain.
''Does everybody have a house ex-
cept mep'' she said to herself. GROSSLY.
wish had bought something else!'
Presently she met a man carrying q
small jar of oil.
This is what I want" exclaimed
the old woman; "anybody can have a
house, but only the truly rich can have
oil to light it with"
So she bartered her broom for the oil,
and went on more proudly than ever,
holding the jar so that all could see it,
Still she failed to attract any particular
notice, and she was once more discon-
tented. AS she went moodily along she
met woman with bunch of large flow
erS.
Here, at last, l have what [ want"
the old woman thought. @ If can get
these, all that see me will believe I am
just getting my house ready for bril-
liant party. Then they'll be jealous, I
hope"
So when the woman with the flowers
came close to her she offered her oil for
them, and the other gladly made the
change.
''Now I am indeed fortunate!" she
saidto herself. CHOW 1 am somebodyp'
DuU otlAl ouC 1dIlOu W tCbA dCe dtCSHtlO1s
and, happening to glance at her old
dress, it suddenly occurred to her that
she might be mistaken for a servant
carrying flowers for her master. She
was so much vexed by the thought that
she flung the bouquet into the ditch,
and went home to her tree empty-hand-
ed
"Now / am well rid of it all" she
said to herself. -Adapted from the Ger
man, by ArIo Bates, IN So. Nicholas.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17
"A girl at Long Branch sneaks with

"A girl at Long Branch speaks with
an acquired London accent. "Me
cawt, me cawt, at five O'clock" she
said to the family coachman, in voice
loud enough for veranda full of peo-
pie to hear. Caught what, miss?n
the man inquired. A repetition of the
ovder did not make him understand it,
and she had 20 say, in plain American
pronunciation, though she lowered her
voice and stepped closer in doing so:
'My cart, stupid; my village cart, at five
O'Clock. IN I. Sun.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17

John Rafferty, walked up to the
priest in St. Bernard Church, Cohoes,
n. Z, the other day, and announcing
himself as Pope Plus TX. ordered the
priest to stop the service. A police
sergeant escorted the Pope to the lock-
up.-1rOy Times.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17

Few stories can be sadder than that
of the man John Meeker, and few stories
tell the desolation of wrong doing more
poignantly. He was sent to Sing Sing
for the murder of Felix Mccarthy, but
there were circumstances which led
Governor Cleveland to pardon him last
week. When the man gained his free
dom he did not know how to use it.
tie wandered about in a dreamy way.
There was literally nothing in life to
live for, and he begged to be taken back
to prison. This mans wife lost her
mind when he was committed, and
wandered away from the asylum and
has not since been heard of. There
were three children, and some benevo-
lent people in Newburg have sent them
to the Home of the Friendless. A more
complete picture of ruin it would be
hard to imagine.-TTOy IN. y Times.
French silk manufacturers are re-
ported to be very hopeful as to the
capabilities of big spider lately dis
covered in Africa which leaves a yellow
web of great strength and elacticity
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17

philanthropy is thin tonic for an
empty stomach. Detroit Free Press.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1883-08-17

It is sOmething-yes, Tor us al to stand
And clasp by faith our Savior's hand
To learn to labor, live and fight
On the side of God and changeless right.
Mrs. Frances E. w. HGrper, IN Union Sigrldl
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1883-01-03
Police Court

Proceedings on Tuesday before
Justice Speirs:
Three men, for being drunk, were
assessed So each. One man for
mixing his whisky with little pro-
family was fined $40.
Rutherford Cook was fined $50 for
stealing a carpenters hand saw from
J. D. Cellar on the 26th day of
December 1882.
Chas. r. West and Dennis Flami-
gan, soldiers in .citizens clothing,
were arraigned on a charge of as
saUlting and beating Charles Mahrt
January 1st, 1888. The evidence
adduced went to show that some
person committed a coWardly and
unprovOked assault on Mahrt Oh
Monday evening while walking
along Main street, opposite Walker
House, he having been struck from
behind and knocked down before
he was able to defend himself
Although some of the witnesses be
lieved the defendants to be the per
sons who committed the assault
yet there was enough evidence tC
create a doubt in the mind of His
Honor, and giving them the benefit
Of that doubt he discharged them
West was fined S. for using pro
fame language.