davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15
csrruR1 PLANT ONLY lSAHE.

,,.tnrsi histcry have been ma and for
vesrs md years accepted as rs. For
. 1870 AGO the tomato Will isnow
* snch common use ~ tablegetable
80 looked npon - poisonounnd was
only used for Ornamental! .tposes-
placed upon mantels and bkets and
was called Glove apple" T red beet
vas also formerly grown as urtosity,
and its usefulness as pie was
diacoyery Of comparatively Dnt date,
the impression ,preyailingshat the
blood red, was similar to tired puc-
coon root and poisonous. rs ideas
were common only . few ys ago a.
to the properties ofmany YER things
which passed 40 indispuble facts.
We,were f6rmerly told thatfie pare
water teemed with animalfe. TIE
latest scientific investigates save
utterly refatrd that thApry, Cd ~ are
now told that pure waite. comins
nothing ,.f;h- KIDD, and tint 1t on
! ~ w. ""s IN "'htc' ~"
MaSiiliN. t:tr 'tA nt'es Ss'.t
1t ms ais. q i-nlV dsco>ed
that the p.,r.-s LINN skinre
:. not balfs n u,o.o as w have On
,..i 4, b. i.s'sa century plano
named, been H., the belset init
hloomed only IN century, III
carries Q fa-a- sy, whicA shl
be wiped '''f st-nce. Tneya
uuite.x, ,Slv;y sr"wu In 9ardenI
Cs.,,,rnia, Sat. IA s..me of the soutl
States. as q curi,sity-for certa
,na>-t,no beauty about it-and tho
dSs oo-souch sought after as 1t wa
fewyears ego, owing to the fact tn
hasbeeu asceftained that they do bl
oftener than once In 100 years.
there are many In California who X
better, or should know better,
will tell you that they bloom
at great intervals--say once in fift
a hundred years. The fact is that
in-Af. z..hs, which Is its native n
and " here It Is known by the Me-
name :. Mescal," 1t blooms in
four TO seven years from the seed;
mos, OF them bloom on the fourth
fifth year. They grow in large pa
-v--on= tina .meses AID foot hills Of the
Rita, Patagonia, f1u~chnca, Mule
Chiricuhua mountain and from a
distance resemble a cabbage ]
The Indians roast them in pits,
which they dry them and thus pl
them for food. The Mexicaus di
liuuoy nom them which is called
cal, "and by many is considered
rlor 10 corn whiskey. The guilty
Of the mescal plant could be made
liable business In this and G
county. The are extensively gro
Sonora aud Sinaloa where good
when fully matured are worth on
lar 10 Que dollar and half ap
Arizona Citizen.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15
4 ROMANO CAREER.
New York Express.l

New York Express.]
w. M. freeman, a young
Missisippian, set out for Eexas
yesterday. At this age /
there lis nothing unusual about
q man going to Texas, unless
he has been cashier, but the
semi-romantic career of Mr..
Freeman before being placed
in position by which he was
enabled to 60 to the Lone Star
State is certainly worth a par
agraph. Last fall Mr.. Free
man invented a new and sim
pie machine of some style i'm
material to this story, for bal
ing cotton. He came to this
city with only a few dollars in
his pocket, and attempted to
form a company among the
members of the Cotton Ex-
change to operate his patent.
None, however, would touch
| it. The first of the year found
Freeman "aat broke" he
had no means here or else
where-nothing except his
patent. He wandered about
the streets borrowing or beg
cling a few dimes occasionally
from a Southern or Western
man. This precarious state of
affairs existed until some six
weeks ago, when he made an
other tour of the commission
D houses. In one he found a
y pretty shrewd, business man,
10 I who CHANGED to have a moment
sto spare.
zn' ''This is the second time you
Mhaye tried to bore me to death
ty With this device,'' said the
henarchant,, 'sand now I'll give
'omou just fifteen minutes to OK
41;.caalain what it can do. But i
/; buou are a hu,nbug 1 will Ger
) enainly kick you across thu
knt
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15
ERNST FUDICkAR,
No. IL GRAND STREET,
Corner Grand and Calypso Streets,

Corner Grand and Calypso Streets,
MONROE, LA.
Dealer in Choice Family Groceries,
Wines, Liquors, Cigars, Tobacco and Gene
raj assorted Merchandise.
My delivery wagon will deliver all pur,
chases free, and orders lott NJ elther stoie
will receive prompt attention.
Monroe, Feb'y II, -6m.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15

p S-Anycns desirfnS the almanac only 'ciu
rpes;re me sa,ae, postage prepaid, by remit
ttno CSC IN ,tamps or currsncy to the oYass.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15
10 saeh yearly subscriber to any Of the Issues
The Times Democrat Almanac for 1888
10 mailed free.

THE It'd. ALMANAC for 1888 10 pronouneed
bv ths public and the press to BE- the best Of tie
kind ever issued BY q newspaper. Neonfdins 100
pages, IL elsoantly bound, beautifully illustrated.
and dlied scith the most t,ssrcstiig Information.
valuable TO every person.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15
CARRIAGE FACTORY.

CARRIAGE FACTORY.
The undersigned takes pleasure in making
X nown that he is now as we'll prepared as
before the war, If not better, to DO all KINDS
# work, either in
Manufacturing or Repairing
CARRIAGES, BuaGIEs, HACKS, ETC
Ready made work kept on hand; specl-
mems Of which may be seen by calling at the
sactorv. He will also carry on g genera!
Blacksmith shop, arranged to do all kinds OF
blacksmithine. Terms reasonable.
January /, 1879. FIN. ENDOM'
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15
F. WETZEL,
r F. WETZEL,
Dealer in all kinds OF
HOJIS EHOLD FUR N 1T y r. f
coFF1Ns. COFFIN TRIMMINGS, &c.

Furniture repaired, or made to order, and
SATISFACTION Guaranteed. All orders for
Furniture promptly attended to. Collins
supplied at short notice, with services OF
undertaken, if desired.
have also on hand a full stock OF
Children's Carriages, which offer for
sale at low prices. $500
McFee's drug store. An inspection of our
work and furniture Is respectfully invited
January l, 1880. ~
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15

Subscribe for a.. making your remtttan.ss os
snrek or drar, or postal money order, or oy
rsufs.srsd letter, at risk Of opcs. For all par.
poses asttirsss
THE TIMES DEMOCRAT.
Neic Orleans, La.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15
E&
Gbe @aes@entoerat.

@be qG,,ses4 entoerat.
New ORLEANS.
DAILY 30 to "a pages). $,2 per anoum
SUNDAY 0e pages), So per annum.
CThe Sunday is part Of tho Daily issueI
WEEKLY az pages), S, so per annum
At proportionate rates for loss periods
The heat Newspaper I'm tho south. A.
good ANY I'm the Union-
TO each yearly subscriber to any Of the Issues
The Times Democrat Almanac for 1898
il mailed free.
THE I'D. ALMANAC for 1888 10 pronounced
by the public and the press to be the best or ne
] kind issued by a newspaper. II eonfd,ns 10y
pages IL elsoantly bound. beautifully illustrated
end alled srith the most Interesting fnJormG'.o"
valuable TO every person.
THE TIMEs.DEMoCR.lT.b v enterprise and
,<rts, hos aetained circulation nerer oeyore
reached By a Southern ne'nspapsr. By enterprises
and a<rit It qptlL enaedror 10 command md IN
surs a RECOGNITION and place In every olfce- shop
and home ia the Southern dnd So"M''ests'n
States.
THE TIMES pEMOCRAT Is the only net9s.
raper IN the United states tkdt makes o speciality
Of Merfcan Central aud South An.srtcan nstps.
and editions printed ta both the Spdnfsh ana
Eaolfsh languages.
THE IMES.DEIOCRAI"S corps Of specaa!
ts,,oraphfc correspondents corers all sections ana
localities Of the South and Soufh,rest, ana att
f.aifao cities and ce,trss Of neics In thc Utfon'
thus snstirfnp the earliest aud comptefest puotsed-
ton.
THE TIMES DEMOCRAT IS prtatad upon
hr latest Improved srfsctin1 press schteh pds'ss
and cuts the paper, lcaring IL In book 'oTn'-rsTy
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clear ant bold race.
| Subscribe for a., making your rsmttfantsS o.
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| Neic Orleans, La
pS-Anpcns desirfn1 the Almanac only tcit
l reesre the sdtae, postage prePd'd, oy renait
tfno $50 IA stampe currss,cy TO the ONCE.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15

THE TIMES DEMOCRAT IS prtatsd "po"
thc latest iasropsd lsrJsctino press irhteh passes
and cuts the paper, lcapfng IL IN book 'oTn'-rsTy
aon,saieat to the reader. The dress is aec. lcita
clear an1 bold face.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15

JOHN ING
EANcv AND FAMILY GROCERIES
WINES. LIQUORS, TOBACCO, CT
CARS, MEATS, COFFEE, ETC.
DESIARD STREET,
MONROE, LA.
:Just received a choice line of the goods
above named, which will be sold at bot
tom figures for the money.
Thanking the public for the liberal Pa pa
ceiye q continuance of the same.
e0A'o JOHN Ing
Monroe, August IL, sS2.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15
New ORLEANS.

The best Newspaper 1n tho South. a
41OOd ~ Amy I'm the ITniOn-
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15

THE TIMES DEMoCR ATS corps Of speesa!
&c correspondents torers all sections ana
localities Of the South and Southeast, and al
s.aitag cities and centres Of ne,os Ia the Unfon
hus .ns,Irtnp the earliest aud comptefsst p"ot'sd
ton.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15

THE TIMES pEMocRAT Is the only nei0s
r,aper IN the United States tkdt makes specially
Of Msrfeau C.nfyaE aud South An,srican f,sTs
and sdfttons printed "a both the Spdnfsh ana
Esaolfsh languages
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15

THE TIMES-DEMoCR.iT,b y enterprise ana
,,,srts, hos attained a circulation Herer oeJore
reached BY q Southern ne'nspapsr. By enterprise
and ,aerit It aptlI enaedvor TO command and IN
strs a RECOGNITION and place In every olrte- shop
ard home in the Southsrn ard Southeastern
States.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1883-09-15
,.oMaor AnvEer,sEmENrs.

MONROE ADVERTISEMENTS.
GAM KUHN,
( Will pay the highest cash prices for
HIDES, WOOL,
- ~ AND TALLOW.
Call and see him.
Monroe, La, January 20, 1888.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-03-31

pocket knife; from hi passenger In
the boots, 20 cents and q piece of to-.
bacco; while l, unfortunately, had
only a toothpick.
"You = sot of psupers," ex.
claimed he with the gun in disgust,
you're hardly worth killing, so we'll
let you tramp into town rs rich as
when you fret came into the world.
Pull off every rag you have on, and be
| quick about it or l may conclude to
waste a little powder and lead on
you"
At this the man In the checkered
shirt exclaimed:
sour duds won't be worth much to
you, but II you will examine the lin.
Ing Of that gentlemsn's hat you'll find
some money"
The professor collared the fellow,
but the robber pulled him away. and
taking the hat found the 81. 100,
which so pleased them that they gra.
ciopsly told us to go where wo wished
Indignant at the traitorous conduct Ct
the renegade, we refused to let him
ride with Us, and thus left him. We
reached Alma Just too late for tho
train, and we're obliged to lay over
until the next day. Late that evening,
as the professor and l were sitting 10
the office of the hotel, to our sur-
prise In walked tho fellow that
had acted so basely, looking none
the better for his long tramp. C)m'
Ing towards us, he begged us fol
heavens sake to give him q few min
utes In a private room, as he had some
thing of great Importance to communi
cate. There was such an impressive
earnestness In his manne that We
yielded a reluctant consent. We wen,
to my room and, after carefully closing
the door, he sat down and drew off Q
boot, out of which he took q false sole,
aud then produced a long, thin pack.
age wrapped in oil skin.
Here, gentlemen" said he, ''are
five 81. 600 bills, and I have the same
number In the other boot. Had theat
scoundrels carried out their intention
of stripping US, I would have been
ruined. Allow me to hand you $2,00C
for the 81. 100 you lost through me.
Under the circumstances, a. they ap'
peared, I cannot blame you for thirty
mile walk you forced me to take"
He then explained that he was q
broker from Leadville, returning to
New Orleans on q visit, and had a s
sumed that false gsrb In order to d.
vert attention should he encounter
robbers. OF course we oomplimented
him on his presence of mind and 50.
gacity, and congratulated each other
that We had escaped so fortunately.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-03-31
Satisfactory Eyideuce.

J. w. Graham, Wholesale Druggist, Of
Austin, Tex writes: I have been handling
DIR. WIN. HALLS BALSAM FOR THE
LUNGS for the past year, and have found
it one of the most salable medicines I have
aver had in my house for Coughs, Colds
and even consumption, always giving
entire satisfaction. Please send me one
gross by Saturdays steamer.
Omaha daily bee., 1883-03-31
TON I 8
FIFTH WARD.

CONTINUED.
Packard f L 1906 n 10th st
Parrish H NJ 16ih and Webster at
Petersen Erick 1140 n Is n st
Peterson R P ter 17t7 Webster &C
Phelps o s II b and Cummings st
Phelps o J III and Cummings at
Phelps f G 10 h and C.sn at
Pickers F W 1918 lizard at
Platz Aug 10 h and California st
Ploof La Fsiypette 18th q. California
Prince Sol 1913 California at
Preston S S 316 n 10th at
Pontt z Chas 1904 Webster OF
Parker J @ 1919 Davenport st
Parmalee E A 1914 Csss Ut
Parrish " H 700 n 18th st
Paul GEO P 1141 n 10Th st
Peck ] P 1924 Davenport at
Peck z P 1924 Davenport at
Phelp b lilo 18th st
Phelan Pat Nicholas above 15.h st
Pitts Gilbert ~(colored) 18th bet Cum.
ings and lard st
Pleasant Adolph 1912 Davenport st
Pogue Frank 18Th and Grace ct
Price james 1903 n 11'h ht
Pdrcell Mich 628 n 11th at
Quinn Peter 4l9 n 14ih at
Quinn Edward 16 h and Gaming st
Q linn John 918 1S h at
Quinn J,mes 18th and lizard at
Ramsey Robt s 1910 lizard st
Record s 16.h and Cunning st
Reitemeier J @ sol n 16 h at
Reeves J y 16:h above Cunning at
| Reeves Jas 10 h and Nicholas at
Reynolds J r 1877 Cas- at
Reynolds Jao j 9Th and Chicago at
Robbins p II 1923 California at
Robinson WIN Il 1924 n 18th at
Rogers A T 1921 n 10Th at
Ruef f. l. G ns above 18th at
Rummel Mich 1888 n 18Th at
Redman b f 10Th and Webster SITS
Redman David @ n Sherman ave
Rsdman George n Sherman W.
Redman J;seph 10th and Cumings at,
Reece John 1140 n 10Th st
Reguin @ f Ala n l4th 81
Reynolds Joseph 802 n 1G.h at
Rhodes Thos 1915 Bart st
Rhodes u .ch 1915 Bort at
Rhodes BAIL 1915 Burt st
Rhodes jane 1915 b 1rt at
Rhodes Worth 1915 1rt st
Rice J ,hn M ia n 18th at
Riley J b 1904 Cummings at
Riley Michl 1904 Cummings st
Robinson j t near Johnson's brlol
yard
Roberts Frank 1929 n 18Th at
Roberts Alonzo 1929 N 18th st
Robinson Henry 16 h and Chicago stI
Rogers A b 1926 Sherman v
Roeder Geoge 306 n l5ih at
Roeder julius A 10th and Webster st
Rooney John 1912 c ss 81
Ruby A J n 10Th st
Raane Thos J 1910 Davenport at
Ryan DAnl 10Th and Webster SITS
Ryan John 18 h ST. adv C,ss at
Rogers Emery 1120 n l8 st
Samson Chas III 1920 Cass at
Sanford s FL 1924 n 18th st
} Scherb Ignaoe 812 n 10Th st
S,hulenberg + W l011 n 18th st
, Scheidt Andrew 5l3 n 10th st
Schneidewind Otto 1917 Gala st
Seward III L. 18th and Chicago SITS
Shannon Luke 1915 Cummings at
Shackleford CB Sherman v
Shannon Jas 18th and Nicholas sts
Shank Rev J w l8,h and Gala SITS
Sievers Theo 10th and Gala SITS
Slevers VIM
Simpson ID l. 1907 Isard st
Sieverllng Julius w Sherman av
Sinclair Thos 10 h and CdmiDgs SITS
Small w II 1914 Caas at
Smyth CO 1911 California at
Smith Geo Sherman av
Smith WIN alley near 18th and Cass 8
| Smith Cornelius I'LL Chicago st
} Sogle s 19;h and Spruce SITS
! Spencer K s b 1902 Cummings at
st Geyer d 1860 n 18Th at
, Statler Samuel 1923 Gala ct
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-08-07

AN EXTRA PocKEr.-Three or four
days ago Detroit clothier sold young
man a pair Of pants without having to
brag up the goods or lie about what they
cost in New York, and the incident might
never have been recalled had not the
buyer entered the store again yesterday.
al bought this pair of pants of you
the other day." he began.
eyes, sir"
81 am not quite satisfied with EN-"
Whats the trouble ,"
"Whythere are two hind pockets"
"Well ;"
"Well, ! alwas carry my tobacco box
in my hind pocket. II there is only
one don't lose any time feeling on the
wrong side. II there are two I'm never
sure which one the box is in, and have
to let go the plowhandles with both
hands at once. | want the extra one
taken out"
1t is solemn fact that the young man
sat down in a dark corner and waited
three quarters Of an hour for the tailor
to knock the two hind pockets into one.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-08-07
A TEXAS BELLE.

Miss Birdie McHennepin is one of the
bellies of Austin. Her intellect, however,
does not tower into the sublime heights
reached by Susan B. Antony. but, to use
the cold language of truthfulness, she Is
very much the same kind Of young lady
as Gus de Smith is young man. Not
long since he proposed matrimony. he
proposed in good faith, in a solemn. I'M
pressive manner, upon which Miss Birdie
inaugurated a giggle, until Gus was very
much Disguised, and, arising from his
knees, his anger found vent in words.
He was mad, too-too mad almost to
speak. Miss Hennepin,' he finally ejac-
ulated, with me this is no laughing mat
ter. Why should you see anything RI
diculous about it ," "You must excuse
me, Mr.. de Smith-really you must, for
| am not laughing at you really. now. |
am not. I am laughing at ma. Mas so
funny you know Really, she is just too
funny for any use. Yes, l am laughing
at ma" cat your ma J" "Yes, you
see ma she told me only this morning
Birdie, you are so green that some DON
key will take you yet and here you come
-" But he was gone. He was in the
past tense. 1t was he who banged the
door so violently. 81 wonder cooed the
suddenly deserted Birdie. 81 wonder, now,
really, if he is offended at what ma said.
But, then, ma always was too awful fun
ny for any kind of use. "-Teras SIT
ings.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-08-07

CARRIES ITS Own MoRAL.-ln one OF
our New England cities, few days ago,
three wretched tramps were brought be-
fore the police court as Migrants, having
been found in an intoxicated condition
in barn where they had slept the pre-
vious night. On examination it was
found that each one had been a former
resident Of the city, and was we'll
known.
One of them had, been, only few
years ago, the superintendent OF the
foundry department Of an extensive and
widely known manufacturing establish
ment. receiving a salary Of $4,000
year, and having a pleasant home &C.
cupied by wife and children, and being
a man once respected and esteemed by
those who knew him.-The two Others
had been workmen under him whom he
had discharged for neglect of their work
and drink and he himself was finally dis
missed for the same fault.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-08-07

THE DRAGON FLY.-Nulgarly called
the Devils Darning Needle in this coun.
try, may be seen in sunny summer days
days moving with rapid flight about our
streams. ponds and meadows, alighting
for time and then darting away. These
creatures have peculiarly light and airy
appearance, and are beautifully colored.
They are enormously voracious, being
among insects what tirds of prey are
among their kind. Though formidable
to the minute creature on which they
prey, they are perfectly harmless to man
kind. Otherwise they are very useful to
man, and destroy vast numbers of gnats
and other insects which are troublesome
or destructive. They are great orna.
ment to our meadows and waterways in
summer time.
If few dragon flies be shut into a
house for short time, they will exter-
inmate the mosquitoes and flies and other
vexatious blood-suckers, just as a few
toads put into room will rid it Of bugs,
sockroaches, and like pests.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-08-07
Put a Brand on Him,

"Women are a necessary evil" he said bring.
ing down his fist hard on the counter 10 emphasize
his heartless remark. II was In the village store
at West Milton, Saratoga County. and the speak.
err was the central isure OF a group Of bucholic
philosophers. lie was homely, slovenly and sixty
There's where / differ from you altogether
said Mr. George 7. Graham, OF the same place.
.women are mostly what men make 'em When
husbands are brutes wives will fall into subn..
sion or make home hot for the men. and they re
especially be good 10 them when they're sirk, aud
yon'u have no trouble. There, my own wife
now She's suffered good deal with dyspepsia.
nervous prostration aud other ailments that took
the bloom OF her cheeks and the spring Ou OF her
stems Well she saw 3 n Advertisement Of PARK.
ER's ToNIc, and thought Il soudbe at the thing
for her case. Gentlemen ! sent hye miles altst a
bottle. she took IL. cent again ait'r more 50
several times. Troubley Why, II yeu could zee
how much good il has done her you woah SAP
that women are the greatest OF Gods blessings,
and PARKERs Tonic Is the next
This preparation which has been known a.
PARgERis GIsGER ToSIc, will hereafter Be called
simply PARKER's TOSIc. This change has been
their customers by unpriDcipled dealers under the
name OF ginger; aud ss ginger 10 really "A uam.
portanr ilayorlng Ingredient, We drop The mi.leli.
Ing word.
There Is no change. however, in the preparation
itself aud all bollles remaining Ia the hands Of
deslers wrapped under the ntme OF PARkERs
GIsGER IOS &c contain the genuine medicine f
the facsimile signature OF HIsCON Co. J. AZ The
bottom OF the outside wrapper
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-08-07
RETURNED THANKS.

The disposition Of some men 10 LOOK
on the bright side of everything was Illus
trated on far western road the other
day. An old gentleman had been an at
tentiye listener to the somewhat remark
able experiences Of his fellow travellers
breaking into the elimination of each an
ecdote with pious ejaculation OF praise
for some redeeming incident in the sub
iect under discussion. Finally they got
to setting it up on the man and telling
stories in which it was hard for him to
find anything to be grateful for. But he
managed to get there each trip, until the
boys were nearly at their wits ends.
"But one of the worst ones ! ever heard
off, commenced one, winking at his COM
panions to look for masher. "Really
the worst was on the Savannah IL Pen.
sacola road in 1852. We run into coal
train, and not a soul escaped. No, not
a soul Every one was killed J!
There was a moments pause, and ev'
cry one looked at the old man to see how
he would take it.
"Thank God = he exclaimed fervently.
"Thank God"
"\yhat for :" demanded the relator OF
the story. What are you thanking uod
for now."
"To think you were killed on that
train" calculated the old gentleman
rolling up his eyes. ''If you had been
spared, what liar you would have been
before you reached your present age :
Thank God for that disaster !"
And after that they let him alone, tor
he was an old man and they knew he
meant no harm.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1883-08-07
THREE COINS TO THE DOLLAR.

1t was in the public room of an up
town hotel. A somewhat pretentious
and self-opinionated politician was treat
ing his listeners to fatulent exposition
of bimetallism, the coinage and the new
nickel. He knew all about it, and no.
body could get word in edge-wise. AT
length one of the auditors said
"By the way, have seen those new
coins-three to the dollar p
"what are you talking about There
amt no such coin" said the oracle.
Reiteration brought more emphatic
denial, until a bet was wagered as to
whether the United States Treasury did
or did not produce coins three of which
made dollar. The gentleman maintaining
that it did drew from his pocket two
bright quarters and so cent piece, say
ing: "These three United States coins
make one dollar. The wager does not
require them to be of uniform value.
Selah."
1t was trick, and not original one at
that, think; but it bottled up the ora
cle.-New York Star.