Connecticut western news., 1883-10-31
ADVERTISING RATES l.
WIT AND WISDOM.

HE WHO knows his power. doubles It; he who is distrustful of it destroys it. HAS it ever occurred to base ball men that-a milk pitcher is generally good fly catcher? A MORMON Is now as bold as grizzly, and Uncle Sam loves one quite as well l as the other.
 A FAILURE establishes only this, that our determination to succeed was not strong enough.
 WHAT is a communist One who has yearnings for equal division of un- equal earnings.
 Do ALI the good you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can, in every place you can.
 IF THERE is any person to whom you feel dislike, that is the person of whom you ought never to speak.
 EVERY man has three characters that which he exhibits, thatw which he has and that which he thinks he has.
 KEEP good company or none. Never be idle. If your hands cannot be use fully employed, cultivate your mind.
 Coop character is above all things else. Your character cannot be esser- tially injured except by your own acts.
 ALWAYS speak the truth. Make few promises. Live up to your engagements. Keep your own secrets if you have any,
 WHEN you speak to person, look him in the face. Good company and good conversation are the very sinews of virtue.
 THERE is nothing lower than hypoc- risy. To profess friendship and act enmity is sure proof of total de- pravity.
 "YEs," he said of the actress, 'she is very unpopular in the company; she has made great hit and gets all the ap- plause. "-Boston Post.
 THE young man from New York who affected the awfully English style, got rather discouraged after being six times mistaken for the valet of an English lord stopping in that town.
 l A DISAPPOINTED young man in the Rochester Post wants to know whether a young fellow whose girl does not an- swer his letters is justified in believing that she does not care two cents far him.
 "WHEN I married Georgina," said Frank, s.my folks told me was foolish to wed girl who didn't know how to use rolling-pin. Lord, how they mis- judged her Do you see that lump on my head ?"-BOston Post.
 APPLICANT for life insurance: ssDoes your company permit one to cross the ocean?" Agent: "Oh, yes; you can cross the ocean or go up in balloon if you want to; but you will not be allowed to practice on a flute near an open window"
 A KNIGHT TEMPLAR in San Fran cisco parlor described the beautiesof the eastern coast. A San Francisco man smiled contemptuously and said:- "I've been east and don't think much of it." "Where were you?" "Why, east, in Omaha. The east ant as big as Frisco"
 HERBERT SPENCER says Americans are so driven by business that they never stop to leisurely examine anything. Guess he never saw 800 or 600 busy Americans standing around for two hours watching three men raising an office safe to fourth-story window.
 A TEXAS debating society debated the question: "When 8 watermelon vine runs on to another mans land. who owns the melons ?' The referee decided that the colored man who lived about a mile and half from the two farms owned the melons. .-Peck's Sun.
 ssTHE owner of Little Brown Jug owns the fastest pair of pacers in the world. !" As general thing, the owner of little brown jug doesn't own anything save a ragged suit of clothes and consuming appetite for the beverage that biteth like an Ohio election. -Norristo,On
 Herald.
 "JoHN BRIGHT finishes off his break fast with half jug of milk and a lump of sugar, which he puts into his mouth somewhat surreptitiously." This habit of putting sugar in ones mouth surrep- titiously is never cutgrown. It is the one lingering trait of childhood which is carried to the grave.
 THE leader of Philadelphia theatre orchestra toward the close of last season was told that he must cut down expenses. He cut off the man with the big drum, , who was not getting the biggest salary of the lot. "Why did you discharge that poor fellow," he was asked, Gin stead of some of the others ?" "Well, you see," was the reply. Che was getting , so little, I thought he would not feel the , loss of it much. Philadelphia Pro- ' gross.
 A NEW YORK reporter applied to the l proprietor of his paper for an advance in . wages. 'sLet me see" said the proprie- s tor. "What is your salary?" "Ten 8 dollars week." replied the reporter. f "WeI," replied the proprietor, "ten dol, @ lars a week is not very much, but the 2 recent reduction to two cents will pre- l clude the possibility of an advance just !, now. But I'll tell you what I can do. l I'll give you half interest in the busi- = ness. ."-Philadelphio CalI.