Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1883-07-06
NOT A SUCCESS.

IOIKS 90 nave all tl0 luck LQOuSnG
when my Cousin Speakwell was appointed
assistant bishop of the Cranberry Swamp
diocese, that it was quite social distinc-
ton. But here's Helen Jones's uncle been
put up for Chinese ambassador! And
suppose she'll get all her tea and chessmen
for pothing now. besides the credit of the
thing ]"
And Mrs. Heatherley actually burst into
tears.
From the very first moment Of her ar
rival in Cherry hill, Mrs. Jones had been
her rival. If she decorated her parlors in
lotus leaves and cat-tails. Mrs. Jones in
phia to paint her ceilings in peacock
plumes and half-open sunflower buds. If
she gave light tea, Mrs. Jones followed
with full fedged dinner-party. If she had
fancy masquerade-party, Mrs. Jones is
sued cards for private theatricals. And
now the glories of the assistant bishopric
were entirely eclipsed by the ambassador
! to China.
| Mrs. Jones ordered her white ponies and
basket-phaeton, and drove in state through
Cherry hill, to invite all her friends and
acqnaintances to an evening reception.
ITO meet my UNCLE" she said, gracious
! ", 'before he sails for Chlua!"
For Mrs. Jones, albeit she never bad
seen her Uncle John Jones. was seized. all
of a sudden, with the most affectionate
devotion for him, and telegraphed him to
come at once to Cherry hill. And the let
ter which followed was full of niece-like
devotion.
VI have always felt;" she said. THAT it
was cruel deprivation to see so little OF
my husbands relations. And now that
we are so soon to lose you, I must insist
on at least one visit. We have some
charming people IN Cherry hill, who would
esteem it privilege to make your ac-
quaintapce We shall meet you, without
fail, at the six-forty train from Philadel-
phia, on Wednesday next"
MI Jones, a blunt, bullet-headed man
who was in the drug business, scratched
his nose when he heard of his wife's
prowess.
Its all a~puzzle to me,'' said he.
''Uncle John never had any brains"
s.Dear mel" said Mrs. Jones, "what
brains are needed to be Chinese ambas-
sador? It's all political influence and
wire-pulling, don't you see ?"
SWELL" said Mr.. Jones, ''there's some
| T Eor r,oIn 1oh p
being president of Polk and Dallas club
for years ago, or so, in the village. And
he manufactured torch-lights for the poll
tical professions, and had a very good
voice for a hurrah. What puzzles me, how
ever, is what on earth he will think of our
getting so very affectionate all of sud-
den, after neglecting him for all these
years."
mo matter what he thinks,' said Mrs.
Jones, briskly. "I1l soon bring him
around Only think-ambassado to China!
What will Mrs. Heatherley say? You
must telegraph at once for plenty of pate 8
de foie gras, and cold, ported game. And
| I'll have the two colored walters from the
hotel. Mary Ann is very we'll in her way,
but she will need additional help on an
occasion like this. l shall ask Ex-Governor
PhiIipstarbaugh and his wife-they are
visiting the Whites; and an especial card
shall be sent to that stupid, old assistant
bishop, that Charlotte Heatherley boasts so
much about. Mr.. Chimefeld, the poet, Is
IN town also, and shall beg Miss Buckley
to bring her violin and give us one OF those
sweet Scandinavian Dreams that she iul-
provises so sweetIy. Let me see, there WILL
be about sixty people here, unless [ receive
more regrets than at present anticipate. ?"
''sixty people, eh ?" repeated Mr.. Jones.
s'Aint't that considerable of blow out,
Fanny? We haven't settled Spagnette's
bill for that last tea-fght, you must re-
member
"Tea fight Blowout ~ Mrs. Jones
repeated in initiate disgust. Peter. l
haven't any patience to hear you use those
odious, vulgar expressions. How are Ethel
and Constantia to get married, I'd like to
know, If the dear girls never are to see any
society 7 Are the ponies ready p
You can't have the ponies to-day"
said Mr.. Jones. "The livery stable man
says they don't stir out of their stalls I'M
til the whole account is settled--three
hundred and odd dollars.'
ssHow absurd of him ?'' said Mrs. Jones,
with shrug of her plump shoulders.
t.And now of all times in the world But
never mind-I shall walk ~
And Mrs. Jones, nothing daunted, put
ar, roaa.hi1d Il rim mod h0nnnf matt.