National Republican., 1883-05-29

males in the United States and yet people con-
inue to ask why women kiss each other.-Boston
Transcript.
IN Texas the other day barkeeper shot
tramp through the stomach. This may seem to
be rather austere but II is the custom of the ooun.
try.-Aaanta Constitution.
THE people residing on the shores of Lake
Champlan have gone crazy over the discovery OF
few pieces of Spanish gold coin, dated 1899 and
1HO, and they are all engaged in digging for moro
gold.
THE success of the Suez canal has been re-
mnrkable. A few years ngo 1t was doubted
whether It would pay, and now the company
wants to dig out another water way parallel with
the first.
PA" said young man, chow does n man
make anything by lending money!" "He doesn't,
my son., replied the parent, mot If he lends 1t to
your uncle Hoseai not by a jug full, he doesn't."-
Burlington Haiokeye
THE Presidents "scheming" is to secure
good administration and harmony and unity in
the republican party and the more scheming Of
that sort the better for both tho country and tho
party.-SprinGieid Union.
How do you feel this morning?" asked
doctor of patient who the preceding night had
attended fancy dress ball. "I feel Just like
rain-soakod circus poster looks" he family rc-
piled. The physician predicts that he is on the
road to recovery.
Ex-Gov. BROWN, of Missouri, who Ia
chiefly known to fame having been Horace
Greeleys companion in defeat in 1872 is TO ad.
dress state convention Of Missouri prohibition.
lists, to be held Mt Warrensburg, June 26 at which
addresses Will also bo made by Lieut. Gov,
Johnson and others.
1T is striking fact that in all the Euro
pean states tho expenditure for war is vastly
greater than that for education. In France tho
proportion is about 10 to in England, 6 to 1: I'm
Prussia, to 1; iu Russia, 80 to l in Denmark, 2
to l. In Switzerland alone almost as much In
spent for education as for war.
SINCE the British government has NOT
asked for lyman he is willing to give hlmselfup;
but whether ho will be anxious to do 1t when
formal order comes to demand him is an open
question. If he does-goodby to him. The British
grip on an Irish enemy of It's peace and dignity ia
something fearful to contemplate.
INTO the child's sick room walks friend of
the family, and going up to the bedside of the
convaescent says: "Glad to see you arc so much
better, Minnie" "Thanks I" returns Minnie "I
shall be out In few days" "And how long is IL
since you began to get well?" About week or
ten days ago." answered the child "ever since
our doctor was drowned" Brooklyn Eagle.
EVER since the removal of the remains of
the first Napoleon from 81. Helena to the Hotel
des Invalides 1t has been the invarable custom to
solemnize mass on the fifth of May tho anniyer-
sary of his death, in the chapel beneath the dome
under which his ashes repose This year, how
ever, the practice has been omitted Gen. Thi-
baudin, the minister of war, having forbidden IL.
The new order of things in the south is IL.
lustrated in an advertisement in the Charleston
Neos and Courier by the Charleston cotton factory
| for the services OF Tone hundred voting girls to
| learn spinning and weaving. Forty weavers are
| also wanted, and tho advantages of a healthy
climate, free from malaria, with good wages and
| constant employment, are among the inducements
presented.
THE car of Russia once met by accident
Col. GaleLsin in state of finebriety. "Look here.
sir" said the czar, "what would you do If YOU
met colonel of the guard in the condition I'm
| which find your" The colonel drew himself
! up, gave the military salute and replied with
great gravity, 81 would not condescend to say a
word to the brute" His wit saved him his com.
| mission.
LAWRENCE BARRETT's daughter is going
to marry German baron. Peck's sun says when
It is all over Mr.. Barrett will be more imperlous
than ever when he orders lyonaise potatoes for
breakfast in the same tone of voice that ho
| launches the curse of Rome upon the dudes that
are trying to get his girl away from him in Richie.
lieu. Mr.. Barrett will be brevet baron afler the
wedding.
FOURTEEN years ago Charles Lewis, then
OF Lockport, N Y, had the initials of his best
girl" engraved on two ten. cent pieces and manu-.
iaotured into earrings. She, not liking them in
that shape broke Off the hooks and spent tho
dimes. This week her brother in Chicago received
one of them in change, recognized the coin, and
| forwarded II to the owner, who Ia now Mrs Lewis
Of Suspension Bridge.
THERE is q youngster on Columbus avenue
who evidently is not cut out to be "silent part
ner." The other day funeral cortege passed the
q. house where he lives. in which tho hearse was
drawn by one horse. Papa, what's that ?" said
he. "Thats funeral, Harry" Tho little fellow
reflected moment and then said, very earnestly,
Papa, when Pm dead cd, don't want you to let
any one. horse concern like that funeral me v'-
Boston SGturdd1 Times.
LAMENTING the sad fate of humorists Mr..
Frank Bellew says "Glray died in a mad house
seymour committed suicides / aech died of breast
pang in his prime; william Newman, Il teetotal-
Ter, one OF the first caricuturisIs on Punch was
found dead in his bed in Brooklyn; John Mcl.en-
nan gave up drinking and died in six months
Ned Mullen stuck to whisky and died in his early
prime, pauper on Wards island; and here comes
poor, kind hearted Jump to end the list with his
brains blown out In Chicago"
Rochester FOst-EIpreSS: The supreme court
of Kentucky has decided that wife may recover
money lost by hor husband at gambling. HuA.
bands in that state can now gamble with good
deal of confidence, and without doing Injustice TO
their familles....In a recent poem the "Sweet
Singer Of Michigan" says that she wants 10 die
In June. She couldn't select better month We
suggest the first of June, 1888. The report that
Mr.. Tlden paints is as false as 1t is malicious.
The delicate tint Of pink on his cheeks is tho
flush of health.
A REPORT on st. PauPs cathedral, Just is
sued In London, shows that its annual revenue Is
f25,0OO. ofthis sum $4,000 is paid TO the dean.
el,0 900 each to the three residentiary canons and
another 81 900, forming the income of fourth
canonry, is divided between the archdeacons OF
London and Middlesex. The minor canons re-
celye in the aggregate from this revenue 9260O
the choir $780, the organist f60O and the vergera
and other officers nearly el, 100. The maintenance
of worship in the cathedral, independent of these
stipends, costs $4,000. Under the heading OF
fabric and fittings" an expenditure of several
thousand pounds is accounted for, and the man
agement costs upward of another thousand
pounds
, New ORLEANS PiodylOe The new cyclone
sweeps clean y. There are no gloves on the hand
of fate. q. No attempt was made TO blow up the
queens birthday. -. Hard words pave no streets
soft words butter no parsnips That which is to be
will not be- If Virgins has anything to do with Il
: To keep clear of the tariff question people mus
T let David A. Wells enough alone. Peaches have
arrived, and men who predicted the failure OF
the peach crop must 20. The fool has no regDeni