The Evening critic., 1883-01-10
ARouT GUIDES
Eho Operate in the City of Nagnia.
cent Distances and Pocket the
Money of Strangers For Informa.
tion that Does Not Inform.

T9ho Operate in the City of Magnisi-
cent Distances and Pocket the
Money of Strangers For Informa-
tion that Does Not Inform.
The superhuity of guides in this city has
long been matter OF comment by strangers
who have visited the National Capital, and tho
cheek and urgent solicitude OF many of them
may be aptly compared with that possessed by
tho world-famed Niagara Falls hackmen, who
have long since become proverbial. The
Washington guide, unlike the long g-poled Alps
guide, possesses no features of romantic
nature, so often referred to by gushing tour
lists In connection with yawnng chasms, snow
capped peaks and cloud -shadowed skies.
The Washington Genus
is practical and various, both as regards size,
shape and color. His vocation is matter OF
pure business, and his rates for service vary
with the time occupied and tho gullibility OF
his patron.
For Instance hungry.looking guide re-.
Gently had three days engagement with n
close listed countryman, and the latter, at the
termination OF the engagement asked for and
received bill OF the services rendered. The
bill was curious literary specimen, and In
cluded, among other items, the following /:
Coin to the Capitul and other places, and
the jail, wher Gittu was hnng, fifty cents. A
full inscription OF the New Mewseem Build
Ing, &C., 1 dollar"
The regular authorized guides are, of course,
excSptions to the rule, but the catch-ons and
irregulars present many phases OF humanity
at the Capital City, embracing in their ranks
illiterate colored and white men. countrymen
and other classes, not few of whom are them
selves strangers To- the most interesting points
in and out OF Washington. They adopt many
methods TO
BedazzIe the Uninitiated
and their descriptions of places and curlositles
are often illiterate and seldom correct. There
is ono colored guide who has reaped a golden
harvestby taking strangers to see Guiteau's g
skeleton In the Army Medical Museum, and
crowds have stood gaping with astonishment
at, not the skeleton Of the assassin, but that of
an antique Indian chief, which has hung
silently in Its case in that building for many
years and upon whose bones long streaks Of
dust have settled. The guide is shrewd, how
ever, and very few of his victims discover that
they have been gulled and go homo brimful of
description Of
The Bones of Guiteau.
Aparty Of visitors from Maryland county
were taken about the city several days ago by
one. of the illiterate guides, and when the
jackson statue had been reached, one of the
strangers asked innocently, SIS that the statue
OF Stonewall Jackson" "Oh, yes, SIR" he re-
piled, "that's stonewall as he sat on his boss
at the battle of Bull Run" swell, / declar'," /"
said the inquirer as he walked around and
around the statue gazing at 1t in pure sur.
prise. Then the description of the washing
an old colored guide Is an unique Grafton.
"Dat," said the old guide, IAN
De Stature of GineraI Washington.
An dem letters aroun' him sez dat he wus
lust ter fte, fust not ter te, an de fust ter git
inter de hearts OBJ his countrymen. He wus n
great man, an he died on his farm down de Po.
tomuck ribber, aftur he had picked up Ingland
wild one hand an flung her down, knockln' de
wind outen her." The description was salts
factory to his patrons, and an extra quarter
was added to bis fee for the minstrel stump
speech which the old fellow had unwlttlngly
thrown in.
The Unauthorized Guides
stand in deadly fear of the police, and 1t Is a
usual, occurrence to see them dart into the
shadows of the Capitol porticos when the
bright badge of an officer appears in the dis
tance.
There arc many worthy men engaged In the
guide business, but, as with every other avoca-
ton, cranks and queers will work In, and con-
sequenly many of that class can be found
steering strangers about town for amounts
ranging from twenty 1--WE cents to So, and
"orating" before public buildings and statues
TO gaping crowds Of strangers about matters
with which they are quite unfamiliar.