Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1883-02-23
SOME LIES
Regarding tia: Nuch-Abused but Use.u
Biped, TIE Jack.
THE DILEMMA OF :. EiNSiS MAN
WHO WOULD DISHoSE.

Biped, the Jack.
THE DILEMMA OF . KANSAS MAN
WHO WOULD DIeEo3E.
Sharp Walket said that the con
versatlon reminded him ot his ex-
porience with mules He wa v?1n2p,i
out one time and the boys were out
fishing, and he thought that before
they got home he would surprise
them with z good old loaf Of yeast
powder bread Having warmed the
Dutch oven nicely and placed tho
loaf where it belonged, Le attended
to soaking some beans. y pet jack
around the camp took in the situa
tlon at a glance and awaited results.
While Sharp was agitating the beans
the donkey was making. love to his
loaf, and after some nice engineer
ing, pushed the lid off the oven and
pOkcd his nose in. Tho last he saw
of the loaf it was sticking out of the
lack's nose, who was making very
fast time over the sage brush.
Major Erb followed Iy giving lis
experience of j.ck that could turn
a door knob and walk right in. In
fact, he said that he had TO change
the combination OF his safe every
night in order TO be- solid Ill the
morning. This donkey in question
could so to work and play poker
with the cards swept out of the sa
loon in the camp, and make Il
hearty lunch on a gum boot. 1t was
a great surprise to his friends when
the Major began by stating that dur
ing the grasshopper plague in Kan
sas many Of the farmers pulled up
stakes and, taking Horace'a advice,
took the Western trip. At that time
came the great rush to the San Juan
country, and among the many ad-
venturers came few from Kansas
On the trip over the range to Del
Norte there was a stretch of 81 miles
of snow to be traversed, and as the
journey had to be done by pack ami
mails during the early morning a
camp had to be made on tho snow
when the sun got too warm, and the
mules broke through the crust.
When camping out that night tho
Major noticed Kansas man retiring
near where he had his blankets
spread. The Kansas man was very
particular about disrobing. The
Major had rolled into his blankets,
body and all; but that Kansas man
was aesthetic. Against tho far dis
tant horizon could be seen that pic
turc, new to Western men, Of man
quietly taking off his coat. vest
and pants, and standing in the clear
moonlight, the envy of those around
him. Folding his clothes beside his
pillow, he folded himself in his East
ern blankets, and slept the sleep of
the just. At O'Clock in the morn
ing tho packers yelled, and all hands
bounced out The Major having no
clothes to put on but those he slept
III, was ready in moment. Looking
around he saw the Kansas man
standing in the gray dawn. his can
ton flannel underwear tluttering in
the breeze, and Il look of terror IN his
eye. Following the direction in
which he gazed, he saw two jacks
with leg each of the Kansas mans
pants i'll their mouths, quietly chew
ing away. A little further down the
hill three of the animals were having
picnic on his coat, and above on a
knoll solitary jack was lunching on
his long leather pocketbook. He
yelled, and tho two jacks parted COM
pany on his pants, one section going
east and the other west. BY the aid
of the packers his clothes were re
stored and a sailor, who had a palm
and a needle along. stopped the
breaks.
DIR. Hamilton said that friend of
his had a jack. which, like all jacks
would buck. He lived north of Og-
den, and drove in every Saturday
with load OF truck in season; some
times cabbages, potatoes and onions;
at other seasons chickens. butter and
eggs. This jack of his would invari
ably buck i'll front of the store at the
corner of Main and Fourth streets.
He had used whips. clubs and profan-
ity on that lack, but it was no Use
Finally he concluded that patience
was best, and Whenever the jack be
camc a statue on the street the old
man would wind tho lines around
the break bar and sit down on the
sidewalk till the animal had relaxed
his limbs. The boys dropped on the
racket one day, and a young fellow
stepped up to the old man.
Say. dad, what's tho matter??"
"Oh. there's neither of us in a
hurry" well, will You let me
start that Jack for you?" you've
got an everlasting contract there, and
take it."
Tho young man fooled around the
animals head for awhile and pulled
out a phial; shaking it we'll he placed
the cork to the jacks ear, and the
animal left-that is, he was there no
more. The old man got ont in the
middle of the street and saw his jack,
cabbages, dust and thunder. strike
out for North Ogden. Looking
around in terror, the old man called
for that boy, but that boy was not to
be caught SO easily. After awhile he
got within talking distance and said:
What did that stuff cost you that
was in that bottle!' "Only 5 cents"
We'll, here is so cents, and go to
the drug store and get some more
and pour the whole outfit into my
ear and SEQ if l can catch that SON
of-a-gun of jack"
This was club dialogue and its
sequel: .. what ara you smoking,
A. An imported Havana. q. how