davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

conqurable will 10 get one of their
profs. But Americans are very pro-
fuse with this title, or they stick it on
themselves. Every Yankee that fails
to get a New England school, comes
here with a galvanized prof, Some fell
low found one of their certificates and
it read This is to certify that Brown
can teach a very small school of very
small scholars" Professors of music
at the University of Cambridge on fes-
tival days are arrayed in a gown made
of rich white damask silk, with sleeves
and facing made of rose color, and a
round black velvet cap with gold tas-
sells. Prof. in England, France or Ger
many, ean something and so does
NJ. ID. 1t costs a mint of money and
thirteen years of hard study to get NJ.
ID. at Oxford. But in this country men
have merited it in six months, at a cost
of SIS. We venture to say that there
are physicians who cannot read their
diplomas. Such jacknap5 are a dis
grace to the profession. Scholars have
an unmitigated contempt for pretend
pTs.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

Grace Darling, distinguished for Ter
heroism in saving the lives of nine per-
sons from the wreck on the coast of
Northumberland is scarcely more of a
heroine than the Yankey girls who cap
tured a gigantic %man-eating shark,
near Nantucket, a few days ago, which
was III feet long and weighed nearly
500 pounds. They were out pleasuring
with a captain, when the wind died
away and their little craft drifted in a
school of large sharks. Five girls
hooked the largest n of the lot, when
he showed his gigantic strength and
splashed the water with his powerful
plunges, then started of at u savage
rate with their boat, but o o gave up.
l should think girls who could perform
such a feat as that, would be apt to put
a hook in their husbands jaw and pull
his nose, or introduce him to the broom
handle.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08
THROUGHOUT THE STATE.

On Tuesday evening week n of the
Camden horse ears was struck by an en-
CINE at the Second street and Bridge
avenue crossing. Passengers were
spilled right and left but no II was
killed.
1t is feared that Mrs. Barr, the moth
er of little Willie Barr, who was drown
ed recently at Herbertsville, will lose
her reason.
The local journal Of Cape May great
ly damaged its popularity by accident
ally using a "b' in place of an IS"
calling the place a hummer resort
Sun.
There is too much gambling at Long
Branch for the welfare of the place.
This is something the authorities do
not take into consideration.
at one of the Trenton railroad cross
ings the council ordered the railway
company TO station a tiagman. The
company neglected to do SO and a few
days ago a man was III I'VE and killed
Vanderbilt's pond, in Swedesboro,
was stocked with black bass in 1880,
and a few days ago a bass Mas caught
in this pond weighing II pounds.
The police of Jersey City are locking
for a fellow who calls at houses where
deaths have recently occurred and pre-
sents framed and engrossed memorials,
which he says were ordered by some
member of tia family, whose absence
he has ascertained. by p%racticing on
tie inexpeIience of women ne generaliy
gets SO or $50 for articles worth "a dol
lar OF two.
1t is reported from Paterson that the
outlook of the locomotive industry Of
that place is quite discouraging, as at
some of the establishments no new
orders have been received for months,
aud it is feared, when the present or
ders ale filed, the factories will be com
PEELED to close, thereby throwing thous
ands Of mechanics out of employment.
The Justices of the peace and consta
bles of Mount Holly have resolved not
to issue warrants hereafter unless costs
are paid in advance. 1t has been the
custom to take complaints, and if the
grand jury found an Indictment the
county paid the costs. If a bill was
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

not found the justice and officer would
be out for their work. by the new
rule costs are returned to the complain
ant if paid by the county.
Sharks have become so numerous in
Newark bay that it is almost inpossi-
ble to catch fish. Il few days ago a
gentleman caught a fish and was pull
ing it in, when u large shark darted
through the water and snapped at the
fish, which, however, the gentleman
pulled i'm just in t me to save his catch.
The shark struck his tail against the
boat, nearly swapping it. Old fisher
men say they never saw so many sharks
in the bay as this season.
The corn crop in New Jersey is re-
ported as follws; Morris: Plenty of rain
has put corn above an average. Salem
Remarkably promising. Middlesex:
First-class appearance. Atlantic: In
need of rain. Burlington: In a por-
tion of the county Il drought prevails
which if it continues a few days will
do serious harm. Gloucester: Wants
rain. Warren: Some injury by white
worm.
The gloomy fears, the Responding
views, the WEAKNESS of soul that many
complain of, would often disappear
were the blood made pure and healthy
before reaching the delicate vessels of
the brain. Ayers Sarsaparilla purifies
and vitalizes the blood; and thus con-
duces to health of body aid sanity of
mind.
Next to prevention nothing is so de-
siIable as cure. Never was prevention
better exemplifed than it is ut the
Eastern Penitentisry. So exception
ally excellent is the management in le-
gard to health that of the 1892 prison.
Frs there ~incarcerated not three are in
the hospital. If humanity in general
were as careful of itself that painful
evil-itchlpg piles-would not he so
prevalent, and there would be no ne
cessity for the manufacture of Swaynes
Ointment, the only cure for this itch
ing and singing disease.
1t occurred to a h~eht-headed RheGe
Island man that it would be very funny
to send a bogus marriage notice to the
Providence Journal, but since a jury
has awarded the young lady, with
whose name he took such unwarranted
liberty, damages to the amount of five
thousand dollars, his ideas OF comic
journalism have undergone IA radical
change.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

The Slade-Mitchell prize fight is de-
Glared off. The trainers of the pugil-
lists Wednesday received notice from
the attorneys of the Kansas counties
where they have been working their
mel that the doors of the p~enitentiary
were about to open for them if they
did not desist. Harry Hill, who is the
stakeholder, says, however, that he
will hold the money till a fight has.tak
Tn place and that a new battle-ground
will have to be selected. If the two
brutes would go to Mexico and there
kill each other it would be a relief TO
the public.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

WI en- a Jerseyman from the rural
districts concludes to visit New York
he ought to buckle a couple OF horse
pistols around him and place a bowie
knife or q razor or two in his boots. 1t
Is getting to be an off day now when
we do not read of some Jerseyman
being taken in by the thieves of that
city. Our rural friends evidently
ought to go armed or else refrain from
Intoxicating drinks while in Gotham
Because q native can defy Jersey
lightning"fh he should not conclude that
lie is proof against New York "hum-
merS.n
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

An exchange says: There is a beau
tiful clock with an interesting history
in the White House. 1t is of alabaster
surrounded by a statuette of the Muse
of History, and it has licked in the
White House time out of MUD, for it
was a present from Bonaparte to Wash
ington, who decreed that it should be
handed down TO his. successors in the
Presidential Office. And so, while the
Presidents come and go, the clock ticks
on, and tells its tale of time to all inn
partially. After Arthur's term is out,
it will again tick to Democratic ears.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

Pennsgrove is certainly a newsy town
judging from the number of correspond
ents to our county papers. AS o o as
there is a cellar dug, notice is given in
three or four papers and continues
every week until the last nail is driven.
Every carriage collision and the freaks
Of a refractory horse is noticed. Every
scathed shin, sprained toe, is set up in
type. If a man builds a portico, the
news bounds off 10 the four ''breezes .
Last week we noticed in n of our
county papers that Mr.. Joseph Rob
bins would occupy William Pedrick's
house, on Harmony street, when COM
pleted. Talk about news; what do you
call that? Even Mr.. r. did not know
it, until he read it. Does any of our
readers know that Pennsgrove has a
"news incubator"
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

The secretary Of the treasury appears
TO be in trouble on account of a light
house keeper in Michigan who refuses
10 give UP his lighthouse although lie
las been removed and his successor
las been appointed. 1t is somew hat
vaguely stated that legal measures Will
probably have to be resorted to. A
simpler plan of proceedings apparently
would be to send Il marshal and Il
couple of deputies 10 the lighthouse
with instructions to break the door
down if necessary and to lift the en-
keeper into-the open country. If the
government has to enter upon a law
suit 10 get possession of one of its light
houses, the suppression OF the slave
holders rebellion will obviously have
been in vain.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

A Pennsylvania ghost makes its ap-
pearance in the form of a Woman in
W., aid then changes into a black
sheep. We are willing tG believe the
white woman part of the story, but
when a man tells us how, in the dead
hour of midnight, with every star
hotted out of the sky by the inky
clouds, and while it was raining like a
house a-fre, he saw a black sheep run
through the thick woods and dense
uuderbrush until 1t disappeared oyer
the brow of the hill, we are going to
believe that it was no spook, but mere
ly an ordinary, self-respecting sheep
lunning to get away from the awful-
lest liar in America.-IIawkeye.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

Rev. Mr.. Mmehester's sun has been
elected professor Of music III a very re-
spectacle college, so he is now Prof.
Manchester. This title he certainly
merits, for. he has taken lessons. in
music for many years. lie has paid
SO a quarter tuition for the last three
years Joshua Lippincott, the Rev. b.
c. ~Lippiucott's brother, is teacher of
mathematics in Dickinson Coll, &c.
Some years ago it was JOSH Lippincott,
now i, is Prot. Lippincott. The world
honors johnson OF Yale College with
his title, lie is the only man, l think,
that could solidify carDonic acid gass,
il the United States. These are all
l.. l.. DIS their first honor. A. b. is
numbered with things that were, and
oblivion treads upon the A. NJ. 1t
costs time, money, brains and an I'M
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08
THE FOLLOWING LETTERS TELL
THEIR OWN STORY.

Valdosta, Georgia, July 90, 1882.
l sold ore of your Patent Dust Proof
Cases about ten months ago and the 9th
Ell day it came bsck to me with the re
quest to make it wind easier On exami
nation found that the stem was rusty,
and | inquired into the cause of it The
gentleman stated to me that he was start
ing some saw logs that had lodged in the
bond of the river, when his chain caught
in a bush and threw his watch into about
twelve feet of water anil he was about
TIVE. hours finding it, When he found it
it was running and he thought it all
right In about three months he found
that She stem was hard TO turn and sent
it ito me:
lean say that the watch is al hat the
company claims for it and recommend it
to AL railroad and aill men.
b.. W. BENTLY.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08
PLAIN
TRUTHS

The blood is the foundation of
life, it circulates through every part
Of the body, and unless it is pure
and rich, good health is impossible.
If disease has entered the system
the oHiy sure and quick way to drive
it out is to purify and enrich the
blood.
These simple facts are wen
known, and the highest medical
authorities agree that nothing but
iron will restore the blood to its
natural condition; and also that
all the iron preparations hitherto
made blacken the teeth, cause head
ache, and are otherwise injurious.
Browns IRON BITTERs will thor
oughly and quickly assimilate with
the blood, purifying and strengthen
ing it, and thus drive disease from
any part Of the system, and it will
not blacken the teeth, cause head
ache or constipation, and is posi-
lively n0f injurious.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

Those who EaF, lad the scene be-
tween the Court and General Joe Shell
by, III the James trial in Missouri FRI
day, in which ahe former imposed a
lie of SO OIL the latter for drawing a
pistol on the witness stand, will very
naturally conclude that the General
was right when ho told Judge Goodman
lie lied when he said he shelby was a
gentleman and IA man of refined feel
ings. 1t Looks that way to a dispassion
ate Eastern reader, at any rate.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

Bosom friends are sometimes danger
Gus things to have about the house.
Mrs. Henry II. Tanner, wife of a com.
mercial traveller for a drug house, elop-
ed a few days since with j. II. Perkins
a dapper little dude, a bosom friend of
the deserted husband and IA boarder at
his house. Mrs. Tanner had been
drawing $50 per week of her husbands
salary, and sold $1,000 of furniture.
Mr.. Perkins was left by Tanner as a
protector for his family.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

Our bht ,u hid keep their OPP
tics ven open yi ne beef question, as
we learn "a Il teIc-Tam from Little
Rock, Ark, o. ate date, that aiy.c-
es from the ca e centres indicate that
the drive this ) II VII reach 600, 600
bead, against ), $40 last year. Now,
gentlemen 0t th' raver, give us lower
priced JOINS.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

NIhlson, iowa, apfll ", 1901.
Iiwish you would send me spring for
the VIM Dllery Watch BY the way this
ElIcry is a watch | sold in your Screw
Bezel Case to a farmer last fall. The
first of January he lost the watch in the
woods and found it this week in about
one foot of water II had lain three
months and over in snow and water with
but slight inquiry to the watch only a
hair Spring.
SRAYMoND
The above were very severe tests AID
demon. trate beyond a doubt, that for
any reasonable length of time during
which a watch might Ike under water
it would receive no INJURY whatever.
We make these cases in both gold
and silver, and as aPERFECTLY Dust
PROOF STEM WINDING WATCH CASE,
CHALLENGE THE WORLD TO PRODUCE
ITS EQUAL. FOR SALE By ALL FIR r.
CLASS JEWELLERS.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08
THE NEW PATENT
DUST-PROOF
Stem Winding Open Face case
MANUFACTURED By TIE
America Watch
Company,
WALTHAM. MASS

This case is formed in one solid piece
without joint or scam, opening in front
only, thus avoiding the usual Cap, and
securing greater strength and durability
These Watches are all open face. The
bezel, into which an extra strong crystal
is fitted withan especially prepared water
proof cement, is attached to the case by
screwing it thereon, aud thus forms an
air tight junction with the body of the
case, which is proof against dust and
moisture.
To railroad men, travellers, miners,
lumbermen and others who are almost
constantly exposed and who have to
make frequent reference tu the watch,
these qualities are of the utmost impor
lance.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

Prevent and Cure Constipation and
Piles A sure remedy for B~iliousness,
'T~orpidity of the Liver, Complaints Ii
gives immediate RELIEF in sick and ner
vous headache They cleanse the stomach
and thus remove al bad lasts from the
mouth and make the breath pure ard
sweet Remove all impurities and sallow
ness from the complexion Pleasant to
take and agreeable in, their action En-
tie other pills Purely vegeta
bic Price 25 cents. Sold by all druggists
The above preparations are prepared by
DR. 'Rush's Medical Association in which
DR. Rush is associated with the most prohl
3uepests OF bath Europe and Anne
RIGA Special treatment can be obtained
.forany disease These medicines are the
e ross rlpbioas for the diseases
meationrd and never fail to give relief
They can be. obtained in Boston, Mass.
at both Wholesale and Retail, George, c
Goodwin and Company and any druggist
will gladly obtain them for you on appii
cation or they can be obtained of us d.
rec t.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08
Saved his Child.
u n. Eutaw ST., Baltimore, Md.

~ n. Eutaw ST., Baltimore, Md.
Feb. IA, 1880.
Gents Upon the recommends
ton Of a friend | tired BRowS's
Iron BIrrERs as a tonic and re-
storative for my daughter, whom
was thoroughly convinced was
wasting away with Consumption.
Having lost three daughters by the
terrible disease, under the care Of
eminent physicians. | vas 10th TO
believe that anything could arrest
the progress OF the disease, bat, to
my great surprise, before my daugh-
ter had taken one hottie Of BRowN's
IsoS BrrrERs, she began to mend
and now is quite restored to former
health, A fifth daughter began to
show signs Of Consumption, and
when the physician was consulted
he quickly said "Tonics were re-
CURED" and when informed that
the elder sister was taking BRowN's
lRoH BrrrERs, responded that is
good tonic, take it."
ApORAM PHELPs.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

New York policemen, it appears, are
returning to their old time treatment
Of prisoners. Thursday a young man,
Who was arrested for drunkenness,
was dubbed to death because he threw
his coat at a fruit vender. This is re-
ducing human life to a very low value
even for New York.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

Justice may be slow but w is sure
footed, as Frank James is ~ now be-
ginning tt realize. In spiteNsf the III
diculous aud maudlin sympathy which
these james ~assassins have received, 1t
has proven true in their case, as it al
most invariably does, that crime soone-
er or later meets its punishment, and
that the wages of sin is death.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

The Alcalde Of a Mexican town locat
ed near the border has invited Mitchell
and Slade to fight within his bailiwick
and has promised that the pugilists will
not he interfered with. In = country
which encourages bull-fghtN no
harm could be thought of n mefy slug
ging match between two huma1h rutes.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08
A PERFECT REMEDY IN 20 DISEASES.

~ Il EitF Ell llE-iasb1 ~ ~ 1PA1LhoSps
AsHFiELD, MASS.
lam vergug on eighty years, and
deem it myduty to suffering humanity
to say that my long life is due to BRAN
DRETH's Pills which have been my
s5le medicine for half "A century. L
know the last forty-three years of my
life is owing solely to their Use. Your
Pills saved Inc many times after the
best medical skill i'll several States had
given me up as hopeless. | have had
many converts to p%urgation with Bran
dreth's Pills, and have seen them per-
form almost miracles vi cure. For
children, "a few doses have cured mea-
sizes, scarlet fever, and whooping cough.
In all female troubles and weakness l
have never known them TO fail. In a.
dult males | have known them to cure
the worst cases of dyspepsia, rheuma-
tism, kidney diseases, ~dysentery and
diarrhGa; even dropsy, paralysis, and
and apoplexy have yielded to a persist
ent course of Brandretn's pills In
fact | have found them the true Life
Elixir. They act as continual prevent
ives against the effects OF time, disease,
and labor.
JOHN II. MNN.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

An exchange Informs is readers
that servant aris are locking to China
American SCI vant-girls al ways were
death on ina nd Of crockery. China
needs to keep lor weather-eye open or
the domestic may succeed il breaking
her.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08
The most reliable, carefully prepared
and best purgatlv; of the present age is
~BRANDRETH'S PILLS.

They are compounded of Roots,
Herbs and Gums of the most healing
and beneficial kind.
AS a Family Medicine tley are I'M
rivalled, curing Headache, Coa5tipa-
tion, Liver Complaint, ] heun ltism,
MISUNDERSTANDING the oh cd. of all i'm
purities-acting on the Liver. Kidneys
and other important organs, removing
the waste tissue, and aadiI g years to
the lives of all who use them.
For fifty years they have been used
by the American public, and their con-
~stantly increasing sales show how they
are appreciated.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08
DIR. RUSH
"R E G U LAT0R"
For HEART Troubles.


Vim. G. Osgool by, che wellknown safe
manufacturer of Buffalo, Philadelphia,
Pittsburgh, Newark, and Atlanta, says:
Office of osgoodby's Improved Safes,
10 S. Broad Street.
Atlanta, Ca, 0ct. II, 1881.
DR.. Rush's Medical association:
Dear Doctors-Tho three bottles of
Dir. Rush's Regulator | ordered were re
ceivrd by express last week. | have
taken nearly one bottle and am thorough
ly satisfied with the result. For over two
years | have been troubled with sharp
paan at my heart. My physician, upon
elimination, pronounced it enlargement
of the harr tand was unable to give me
any relief. The trouble grew worse I'm
til ] had become convinced that | coud
not be cured. While in New York City
last week | called on one of the most
prominent physicians there who charged
me S25 for an examination and then rec
commended your Regulator. Knowing
you to be g regular Medical Association,
and not a pate 1T medicine scheme, | or
dered the. three bottles. | have not been
troubled since | commenced taking it
/ shall continue and take the entire
three bottles So as to obtain a permanent
cure. You have my very sincere thanks
| am gentleman, Very Respectfully,
wv. G. OSGOuDBY.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08

BRowNsIRoNB ITrERs efectual-
" cures Dyspepsia, Indigestion and
Weakness, and renders the greatest
relief and benefit to persons suffering
from such wasting diseases as Con-
sumption, Kidney Complaints, etc.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08
IMPoTyANT TO OWNERS OF REAL
EsrATE

The current number of 'tAmerican
Real Estate Guide published at 154 Mas
sau street, New York City, comes to Us
trim fun OF Information valuable 10 all
owners and buyers of real estate. The
department eflaw questions and replies
is alone worth many times the subsorip-
ton price. The Guide is the only paper
IN America that,contains this valuable.
feature. The list of bargains and ex
changesin real estate in all parts Of the
country. Contained in its advertising col
umns, is a vaiuaBle reference for those
seeking q home, investment or business.
Every owner of real estate should have
it,. Subscription st-0o per annuIn ma
advance.
The Penn's Grove record., 1883-09-08
Dr.. Rush's
BLOOD ROOT OIL
r III EU

Neuralgia, Sciatica. '~umhaeo, Backache
Soreness of the Chest, Gout,
Quincy Sore I'M ar, Swell
ings and Scalds,
Genera
Bodily Pains
Tooth, Ear and Headache,
Frosted Feet and Ears, and all other
Pains and Aches.
DIR, Rush's Blood Root Oil has
no e i'll the world as a liniment or
oil. 1t is a cheap, safe, simple and sure
external remedy for man or bea 81. 1t is
rut up in two sizes. Price 2J and Scots.
Sold by druggists everywhere.
Cued of Rheumatism in two hours.
Buffalo, n. Y, May 2, 1882
DR.. Rush's Medical association:
Gentlemen-I have been troubled with
rheumatism for two years. 1 tried all
the best advertised oils and linaments
and many fi~rstclass physicians without
relief. The last Doctor | visited recon
mended DIR Rush's Blood Root Oil | pur
chased n large bottle fer fifty cents and
applied it In two hours | was relieved
and now am entirely well ITS effects ale
wonderful and | believe it the only thing
in the world which will cure rheumatism
Truly Yours,
JuHN HUTCHINSON,
80 Erie Street, Buffalo, n Y.