The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-09-15
MARK TWAIN'S EXERCISE.
Elmira Advertiser.

Mark Waln went 10 Eifnlrd last sum mer to find quiet place to write. He became somewhat out of health, and one day recently he was interrupted by the i family physician, who called to make a friendly visit. Into his sympathetic ear was poured the tale of the humorist's $ woes, and after moments consultation l he remarked: "Clemens, what you need is exercise.' With look of gentle re- proach which soon changed to anxious innocence, the hero of many an experience of roughing it lin pictures), and tramps at home and abroad lon paper, made reply: Well, that's all right, but who's going to do il for me: You see,' he con- tinued, the men on the place are all to accomplish anything and" "You must do l, yourself" was the professional stop pu, 10 his demur. Do it myself! ! How in thunder do you expect-why, wha, can do! There aint good poker player on this hill, and the hammock broke down yesterday, so can't use that - No, no" interrupted the doctor, you must have active, exertive exercise l; something that looks like work, you know. You can walk down town, or swing dumb-bells, or chop wood, or" Hold on, you've struck Ii, exclaimed Mark. "l'll chop wood.' "Best thing you can do" said the doctor. as he took his leave. "lt brings into play so many varied muscles, expands the chest, deep ems the inspiration and superinduces a more bountiful oxygeration by the beau tiful process of endosmosis and exosmosis, and hence the red eorpuseles-" " Here, have cigar said Twain, pushing box before him, "and let up on Moses" You mustn't smoke, you know the doctor said, as he picked out weed
 Oh. no, I've stopped smoking said Twain, as he carefully placed sheet of copy paper over the three old s,umps and brier pipe; "l found tha, it disagreed with my family long ago. The doctor departed, and Clemens, with glow of renewed health already shining in antici- patton on his brow, took one of the farm hands from the harvest field and sent him 10 town after new ax. He returned with the tool. bright -bladed, sharp edged i Finally, thinking he had the hang of the thing. Clemens had the man hitch up and drive up the road abou, mile to piece of woods. The members of the | family went with him to look for flowers and berries while he chopped. Arriving at the desired spot he carefully took out the aN unwrapped the old coat. and laid the tool down beside the stump of dead pine. The family wandered away. picked one or two flowers. and then hastened back. as they heard him shouting their names. I've done enough for to-day" he said. as they came near. They saw four blisters on his hands and piece of new leather shining on one of his boots. but no wood lying around. However. i they said nothing and went home the hned man carrying the aN.
 That evening. sitting on the piazza, ap- i plying arnioa to his hands, he said :" IL $ hard work. but I'm going 10 keep It up , It's splendid exercise. and just see how 1t i has built up other great men. Why, you know. Greeley prolonged his life many years by choppng at Cnappaqua. and i Gladstone is alive yet and making things i hot in Egypt only by reason of the bene- hoial results of an hours ehoppins every 1 day. You wal, a month and see me . l I'll be able to hsh, Tug Wilson and row Courtney and ou,-,alk Beecher."
 All this was several days since Clemens noticed his new ax lying where he had
 left |, on his return from his initial trip, 1 its brightness changed to reproachful rust. Conscience smote him. Hewould resume exercise. He would attack anew ] the monarchs of the forest. He would acquire muscle. So he boldly marched for the same piece of woods and began operations on the old pine. Bu, few minutes had elapsed before sx-foo,er appeared before him. and the following oolloquy ensued; "Now. you skin righ, out Q here. young man These is my woods, and you'l. learn 10 le, folkses property alone after I'm through with ye Gi,, now Searching on his forehead for an imaginary bead of sweat, Twain slances duoiously a, the enraged bucoac, and said Well, wha,-seems- to be-,he matter with you?' Mat ter, HI show ye. Tryin' 10 steal my wood" But, my good man. don, wan, your wood ," sThen what are you cutting i, for:' Why, for exercise, that's all" The doctor said" "Oh, that's too thin. Exercise You look like man tha, would do anything for exercise. Now with renewed energy) you ge, righ, out O here. Right out. and the farmer made threatening ad- vances. But-bu,-look here my good man, you don't know who am. You are talking to a." "Ies, do know You're tha, Clemens. I've heard abou, your being here abou, four weeks ago and I've had my eye on you ever since Now tpicking up a pine rootl you git. ! Clemens took up the ax, cas, a whitening look on the bueolic, and sadly climbed out of the wood. over the fence, and ou, of danger, the voice of the enraged land. owner sounding his in ears for some dis. tance down the road.