The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1883-05-18
WITTICISMS

whats a kiss? Simply this
-Four lips meet. two hearts greet;
sans Deceit. union sweet
Rapture blissl-That's a kiss"
The following advertisement actu-
ally appeared in a western newspaper:
'Lostl" One wife calf. His two behind
legs most black. lie was a she calf.
Who brings him back pays FIVE dollars"
Why win men who putup fre-escapes
be rewarded he heaven.-Ex. Wedon't
know; but we do know that men who
don't put lre-escapes up will be reward
ed IN another place.
An Iowa editor has been asked by a
correspondent for an answer to the
question, DO hogs payY" On look
ing over his books he finds that they do
not"
"Come. 60 to bed, Eddie" said an anx-
ious aunt; you seethe sun has set, and
the little chickens all 90 to roost at that
time" "Yes auntle," said Edwin; "but
tie Old hen goes with them"
1t is not believed that there is an
artist IN the world who can catch the
expression of a woman's face as she
puts her into the milk jug and
finds that thunder has soured the con-
tents.
"Why do good little children go TO
heaven when they die2' asked the
teacher. Because it's unsafe to trust
children in a place where there's fire.
answered the bright little boy at the
head of the class.
1t is rumored that Henry Irving, the
English actor, is soon be knighted by
the Queen. America is ahead of Eng
land i'll this respect. We have in this
country quite a number of benighted
actors. But we are not proud Of 'em.
A small boy Of four summers was
riding a hobby horse with a compan-
ion. lie was seated rather uncom
fortably on the horses neck. After a
reflective pause, he said, al think if
one of US get off | could ride much bet
ter"
Sheridan, in one of his little gems,
says: ~ woman is IN love when her
heaving bosom signs for YOU" That
won't do, How the deuce a fellow is to
tell when her heaving bosom is the
size for him? is what we want to
know.
Every time we happen to think of it
We always feel glad we are not an
ancient Roman. The clothes seem to
be airy enough and they appear to fit
easily, but it must have been trying to
be compelled to talk in blank verse all
the time.
You must cultivate decision of char
acter, and learn to say NO." said a
father to his son. Soon afterward
when the father told the son to chop
wood, the boy said NO" with an en-
phasis that showed a remembrance of
the lesson.
A New York doctor has been fgur-
Ing for the last twenty years and has
reached the conclusion that very small
feet on a woman mean a temper like
cayenne pepper and a tongue which
Will lie about its best friends. This is a
noble effort to console women with big
feet, but it won't work.
A Baltimore gentleman writes that
he knows ayoung man who addressed
Il girl by letter asking her TO be his'n
and she answered on q postal card de-
clining the honor; %whereupon he placed
one-cent stamp and her address on
the back Of her photograph and re-
turned it by mail. He was shock
ingly ungallant; still it was tit for
tat.
A Massachusetts lady rolled off a
lounge while drunk. Her face struck
in IA basin, and was wedged so snugly
that she, being Unconscious, lay and
smothered to death. The reckless care
lessness with which basins are left
about the happy homes of New Eng
land has long been a matter of COM
ment. 1t is likely that Governor Butler,
when he reads of this accident, will pro.
hiblt basins in Massachusetts,.
A green girl from the country who
has been visiting the city for the first
time, attended a ball the other evening,
and while at the supper a nObby swell
approached her and taking her pro-
gramme. sad: "Ah, Miss Jennie, are
you full?" "No, sir, not yet. I've only
ct four dishes of ice cream, two pieces
of cake. three bananas. two oranges, six
sandwiches, a sardine or two, and a half
dozen slices of tongue but if you'll get
NE a hunk of pie, think that will do the
business"
In this country nobility don't 90 for
much under the hammer. There is an
Italian Count acting as chambermaid
in a Chicago livery stable, a German
Duke Singing beer over a bar on the
south Side, a French aspirant to royal
ty sticking hogs at OF the packing
houses, and an English Lord pulling
the string to an elevator in athird-clasS
how nranu Thn in 1naarU o,tn g -.-