The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1883-07-21
AN UNIQUE WEDDING.


nose, blubber lips, mouth like {
sharks, and skin which shone like
polished ebony.
"What is your name?" asked my
clerk when this Apollo was presented
for enrolment.
"Gaspar, sah!'
What else?"
"Nothin' sah!'
What! No other nameP"
He scratched his wool and looked be-
wildered.
"All right" said l, as | was in hur-
ry; put him down 'NothingH
So "Gaspar Nothing" was inscribed
on the records of the United States Ma
Wy.
So much for the groom.
But the bride How can | picture
her? In need of an assistant washer
woman, we sent aboard of boat load
of colored refugees and captured some
thing that looked like a compromise be-
tween a giraffe and ourang-outang.
Language is inadequate to paint her
portrait She was wondrously tall and
ugly, and angular and awkward; long
neck, long arms, long legs and long all
over. Clad in her long, gray planta-
ton frock, she doomed up like walk
ing Cleopatra's Needle, When she ap-
peared at the Office / inquired what they
called her.
THAI, thir," she lisped.
"Sall what? ANYTHING else?h
Moth knowth on, thirl"
Lets call her Long Sail, whispered
the clerk. So Long Sail was she christ
ened-in ink
The first step taken in Sails behalf
was to devise some amelioration of her
wardrobe. / contributed bolt of blue
flannel, and one of our old sailors, deX-
ferrous with the needle, took Sails lati-
tude and longitude, fashioned stylish
gown and pettcoats, trimmed with
Barnsley sheeting, and Sail shone forth
like a full-iledged bluejay. 1t was de-
cided that Sail should marry Casper.
THE BRIDES TRossEAU.
But here arose a difficulty. Wha
was to be done for trosseauo Sails
blue caparison had become greasy and
defaced and, besides, il was scarcely
CONNIE il faut for bride. We deter
mined, as we were going to have we'd
ding in the family. that it should be
frst-class, if possible. In this desper-
ate emergency | remembered that our
navy had recently captured a small con-
traband trader, and had seen the little
vessel lying under the port quarter Of
the flagship. Icalled upon the admiral
and stated our dilemma, Nobody ever
loved fun better than Admiral Porter
nor could anyone sympathize more thar
he In such an enterprise as we had un
dertaken. For reply he arose, opened
back door of his cabin and went be
low. Presently back he came, with BIZ
arms full of bolts of calico, ginghan
and the like selected what seemed
most suitable, thanked him and left al
invitation for the wedding,
Our man mantuamaker again set Il
work with will, and under his artsti
touch Sail soon was gorgeous. We evel
fabricated set of stays and laced he
up like tenor drum. Next to be look
ed for was the wedding ring. This Wa
furnished by the wife of an officer of thu
Marine Brigade; also some artificial
flowers for the char" and a pair O
white kid gauntlets, which, by dnt O
soaking and stretching, were at las
adapted to Sails taper digits, Whe
we had her all rugged, Solomon in a.
his glory certainly never shone as sh
did. She was fairly aghast at herself
and it was perhaps fortunate that W
had no full length mirror in which sh
could have seen herself as others sa,
her.
THE WEDDING.
All being ready, time was fixed an,
wedding invitations were issued to tn
notabilities Of the squadron. The nun
tial knot was to be tied in the Rover
wardroom at 10 A. NJ, just after th
Sunday muster. Our fleet surgeon,
natural orator, than whom no one cou
render the Episcopal text with more il
pressiyeness and JUNCTION, assumed Il
role Of master Of ceremonies. Our ca
tain undertook to give away the brid
As the decisive hour drew nigh the we
ding guests assembled, arrayed in fu
naval uniform. The bridal party can
on deck, escorted by the "contraband
in blue jackets and white pants. o
OF Gasper's messmates onicated
groomsman, while my clerk endcavor
TO do the honors as a sort of he brid,
maid. The fleet surgeon began the 5,
vice with dignity and solemnity Def
ting the occasion.
All went well until he came 10, wv
giyeth this woman TO be married to Il
manp"
Then our skipper stepped forth,
was an old salt who always took thin
in dead and serious earnest, and tall
from the bottom of his heart
"Salll" said he, you've heard WI
the minister has just read! Now, mil
there's no foolin' about this. Casper
70 stick to you and you're to stick
Casper! No more runnin' round amo
these other darkeys! Casper is yt
husband and you are Gasper's wife, a
you're TO love and honor and cher
and obey him DO you understa
thatp"
"Yeth, thir," lisped Sail.