The Arkansaw traveler., 1883-03-31
DOMESTIC DIFFICULTIES.
BY BARNEY.

ana eNtcnSifc COttOn spinner ot Ok0n2m> England, who attended at the weekly marke. day at Hudders6eld, seventeen miles distant, to supply the manufacturers with cotton warps.
 At the b,ptismal font, amid.the cius- tered and massive arches of Oldhzm church, he was christened John Wrigley; but as the babe grew into a stripling, well-behtting name, indicative of some peculiar characteristic, as is the prevalent custom in the hilly regions of northern England, was gracefully thrown upon his shoulders by the presiding priestess of the neighborhood. and to have searched for him by his proper name would have been labor in vain.
 Fortunate indeed would have been the inquiring stranger, if, in coming across a group of the mirth-loving wives of Old ham. he heard some such remark as: "Oh. I'll tell yo' whoa he means-John O mi Gronny's."
 To meet him on the street. his features bore evidence of the expressing care of business. but. when seated atfhe head of :he dinner table, at The HAg's Head" ln King street tkept at that time fifty years ago, by the rosy-faced host, Joe Smi,hies. whose ample rotundity of per son reminded the observer of plenti- ful larder), that look of anxiety had been left somewhere below stairs, and his face glowed with the genial sunshine which springs from a cheerful heart.
 Dressed in blue coat, drab knee brooches and gaiters, he was, both phys icaliy and mentally, fine representation of the English nation and character, a,.i, jeer-;heI h,. .he r,N...
 :" Stern OCT each bosom, Reason holds her
 stale
 with daring aims irregulariy great: Pride in the port. defiance in their eye. see the lords of human kind pass by; inten, on high designs, thoughtful band, By forms uniastened fresh from natures
 hand,
 Fierce 10 their native hardness of soul, True to imagined rights. above control.i
 The following is a specimen of the ex- pected tale whereby he would set the whole company in roar of hiliarity, during the carving and discussion of the roasi-beef, the material, as the first Ma poleon used 10 express it when speaking of his armies, or while enjoying the eheey wine:
 A contest had long been pending be- tween John No. and his spouse Betty, as to which. in plain terms, should wear that badge oi governing power-,he brooches.
 This matter has been the subject of many curtain lecture, q a Caudle. It was after one of extraordinary length and severity that an adopted plan, the result ot Johns serious cogitations, had now reached maturity, and he resolved to hazard all on single cast of the die. Though ever willing ito render unto C9sar the things which are Cesar's," he owned and acknowledged that he owed great part of his virtue and forbearance to the exercise which his noisy wife con- siantly gave it.
 Accordingly, at peep O day, he arose and transformed. not without regret. the coveted unmentionables to her side of the room. and proceeded 10 array himself in her aitire-the pet,icoats actuatcd by scrupulous motives, that there should always be complete harmony between outward appearance and the internal government of the household.
 Observing these novel movements which disclosed the fact that the advan- tage of muscle would be greatly in his favor, ard that even a G,vaIer rssor! to the cudgel would be utterly hopeless, she exclaimed:
 No are not going to pu. them on, John. are yo 7:
 .'Yaw the meant yes), bu; I will. Bet ty.''
 ' But 70 winna go out of doors with them on. John. win yo' =
 Flaw. but will. Betty"
 This movement in the rear took Betty Asat,. ok l. Al sudden manner by which her own weap- ons had been turned upon herself, and the dreadful aspec; which affairs had as- sumed, she at once eapitulated, consent ing that she would no more dispute with him the reigning power. fine would only, once again, pu. on his brooches.
 Affairs with John No. had no, so fortunate q turn.
 He and "his better half had met at the sacred alter of Hymen, eagerly rush. iag into the golden bondage of ma,ri- mony. and coming together in middle life; each as the nheritor of household furniture
 The honeymoon had scarcely passed, however. ere she claimed that her furni- ,uFe must be called mine" while that portion bought by him she authoritatively insisted must be called "ours."
 This disturbing element was the cause of many war of words, which one day terminated in a scuffie, and the elected husband suddenly found himself outside the door. and twang went the lock in his face. What was he to do now. The wide world and the still wider ocean lay before him, the prospects of homeless wanderer arose vividly to his mental view. While thus ruminating. the erring footsteps of life time were condensed into the review of one short hour. while his dreams of eonnubial felicity vanished into thin air.
 Taking farewell look at the house and its surrounding plants-another Par adise lost-sad thoughts came thick and fast.
 Who now shall rear you 10 the sun or rank NoRr tribes, and water from the anbrosiai