The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1883-07-12
Front Yard vexatIons.

that has front yard. We have always
lived IN houses whose front yard was
the street. Children will play in the
street. Children will play in the yard
whether there is q street running through
it or not. After two or three of them
had barely escaped being run over by
the teams that insisted on running
through our front yard, wife said VIC
must rent q house that hadn't any street
in 1t. So we did. But pshawl the
children don't make any account of it.
They arc in the street as much as ever,
accumulating their daily, s''"r'0' &c ..,'-
| row escapes. ----E-Il A
= rr-ne SAID tho yat,i looked bare with.
out shrubs alfd flowers and vines.
limited that a littlegrass would help it,
Too. "
One evening as was going away,
wife asked me to bring her Il few IAN
nuals" when I came back. wondered
what she wanted of ANIMALS as rode
down town in a street car, but l am
accustomed to blind obedience to her
requests, so when went home at night
| brought her some ANIMALS. There
were DR.. "Jayne's Annual Almanack, -
/ remember, and "The Odd Fellows
Annual Otfering," and Il New Years
Address" for 1862, and the "Birthday
Glft' and numerous annual addresses
before agricultural associations, that
had accumulated OH my hands.
"Good graciousl" exclaimed Mrs,
Boggs, (she never swears like that ex-
cept under great excitement) what have
you brought me?"
"Annuals, Mrs. Boggs," said I.
"You said you wanted annuals, and
here they are.''
Then Mrs. Boggs burst out laughing,
and cried "Why, you old fool, YOU
1--WE have been married twenty Years,
but Mrs. B. calls me pct names yet),
the ANNALS l meant are flowers. such
as verbenas, pansies, daisies, morning.
glories, mignonettc, and the like, to
set in our front yard" Then she took
all the ANIMALS had been at SO much
rains to collect and set them out in the
back yard among other rubbish.
The next morning she asked me if 7
thought l could get some roses for the
front yard. Told her 1 knew a man
who had got a lot of early rose potatoes,
but it wasn't the right time of year for
setting them out. Il have al idea that
ground Is much better employed in rails
ing a potato than in raising 4 flower, un-
less it is barrel of flour.) Wife said
hadn't bit Of taste. She then gave
me a memoranda of roses she wanted.
was busy all day, but as I was about
taking car for home, thought of the
nm nnnSfs. 1 referred to the mn'""'".>a",
anu found tho -s-'t2ssriss.
,deUT lew gclaniums, fuchsias,
hellotrope, roses, bourbon, running
rose, Prairie Queen, golden tea plant
vines, English Ivy, Wandering Jew,
L studied it hard, but it was slightly
mcomprehensiDle. She had evidently
got things mixed up. However, I
went TO a florists and got what /
wanted. Said l, "give me few pcra-
NUNS and a few she's, and"
"a few what?" asked the flower
man, looking puzzled.
"a few e's," said I, turning very
red, l know, for I couldn't tell for the
life Of me what my wife wanted of 4
few she's about the place, as she never
could live in the same house with an
other woman.
AS the florist looked moro staggered
than ever, I handed him the memo
randa, when he burst into loud laugh.
"Why, man, he cried, tits fuchsias
she wantsl" and he roarcd again.
"Well, whatever it is, give me cou-
pie OF yards of it anyhow, front and
back yard, too."
You see was mad.
l got the things the memoranda
seemed to call for at the various places,
and went home.
"Here, Mrs. Boggs," said i, testify,
ARE the things for our front yard"
"Why, what is thisp,' she cried, as
L thrust a two-gallon Jug upon her
among other things.
"Bourbon, my dear. I found it on
The memoranda. Pretty thing to set
out in the front yard, though. How
long do you s'pose it'll stay there with
the neighbors we've got?"
"Boggs, you are Il cOnfOunded--:
that memoranda was Bourbon Rose
But what is this nasty little book?"
holding up "a dime novel with highly
colored title page representing q gor-
geous squaw OH a fiery and untalncd
mustang.
"That2 Why you ordered it, didn't
your That is Running Rose; or, the
Prairie Queen;' one Of Beadle's you
know"
My wife carried it at arms length
and threw it into the stove. Then She
took the jug Of Bourbon and emptied
it into the back gutter. While she was
gone l. concealed Alexander Dumas
Wandering Jew," which | had also
for began to see that | had
lnadea Il terrible blunder in filing that
order. 1 have ascertained since that
Wander ing Jew" is the name of
vine; but how was expected to know
all al@8G i,P)
Here, my dear" said I, as my wife
entered tie room again, desiring to
nollify her, "here is some ivy. l know
That it is right, for L hired boy to 90
out into the woods and Gull it,
$50 out in the woods and Gull itl,
shriekcd Mrs. Boggs, suddenly dropping
it; "why, Boggs, that's Pizen ivyl''
SO IL was. Dearl Dearl how was |
expected to know anything about it2 |
L didn't know there was any other kind |
of ivy 'cept that which grows in the
woods. ! went around q week or two
with both hands done up in linen rags
soaked in salt and water, ana Mrs.
Boggs' hands looked like Il pair Of box
ng gloves. l will never mcddle with
wy again, ivy notion.
But my mishaps are not all re ated |
yet. I planted tho seeds l had boz. .ght,
md what do you think came up? A
OF Of gourds, sunfloWers, hollyhocks