Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1883-10-24
Mark Twaln's Exercise,

Mark Twain went to Elmira las
summer to find quiet place to write
He became somewhat out of health, ant
one day recently he was interrupted b,
the family physician, who called Il
make friendly visit. Into his sympa
thetic ear was poured the tale of the
humorist's woes, and after moments
consultation he remarked:
''Clemens, what you need is exer
cisel''
| With a look of gentle reDrOach which
soon changed to anxious innocence, the
hero Of many an experience of rough
ing it lin picIuresl and tramps at home
and abroad ION paper, made reply:
swell, that's all right, but who's go.
ing to do it for me? You see, he con.
tinued, ''the men on tie place are all
busy, and the children amt big enough
to accomplish anything and"
"YOu must do it yourself ~ was the
professional stop put to his demur.
"Do it myself ? How in thunder dc
you expect-why, what can / do? There
amt good poker player on this hill,
] and the hammock broke down yester-
day, SO can't use that
"No, no." interrupted the doctor,
| ''yOu must have active, eXertive exer-
else; something that looks like work,
you know You can walk down town,
orr
"Hold on, you've struck it." exclaim-
ed Mark. ''I'll chop wood -
BEST thing you can do" said the
doctor, as he took his leave. ut brings
into play so many varied muscles, ex-
pands the chest, deepens the inspira-
ton and superinduces more bountiful
OXygenation by the beautiful process of
enoosmosis and exosmosis, and hence
the red corpuscles-''
''Here, have cigar" said Twain,
pushing box before him, ''and let up
on Moses"
"YOu mustn't smoke. you know"
the doctor said, as he picked out a
weed.
''Oh no, I've stopped smoking"
said Twain, as he carefully placed a
sheet of copy paper over the three old
stumps and a brier pipe. 81 found
that it disagreed with my family long
ago"
The doctor departed, and Clemens,
with glow of renewed health already
shining in anticipation on his brow,
took one of the farm hands from the
harvest field and sent him to town after
new axe. He returned with the tool
bright-bladed, sharp-edged. Finally,
thinking he had the hang of the thing,
Clemens had the man hitch up and
drive up the road about a mile to a
piece of woods. The members of the
family went with him to look for flow
ers and berries while he chopped. Ar
irving at the desired spot, he carefully
took out the axe, unwrapped the old
coat, and laid the tool down beside the
stump of dead pine. The family
wandered away picked one or two flow
ers, and then FASTENED back, as they
heard him shout their names.
''l've done ereugh for to-day" he
said, as they came near. They saw
four blisters on his hands and piece
of new leather shining on one of his
boots, but no wood lying around. How
ever, they said nothing and went
home the hired man carrying the AK.
That evening, sitting on the piazza,
applying arnica to his hands, he said:
''It's hard work, but I'm going to
keep it up! It's splendid exercise, and
just see how it has built up other great
men! Why, you know, Greeley pro-
longed his life many years by chopping
at Chappaqua, and Gladstone is alive
yet and making things hot in Egypt
by reason Of the beneficial results of an
hours chOpping every day. You wait
a month and see me- I'll be able to
fight Tug Wilson and row Courtney
and out talk Beecher."
All this was several days since. Gle
mems noticed his new axe lying where
he had left it on his return from his in
itial trip, its brightness changed to re-
proachful rust. Conscience smOte him.
He would resume exercise. He would
attack anew the monarchs of the forest.
He would acquire muscle. So he bold
ly marched for the same piece of woods
and began operations on the old pine.
But few minutes had elapsed before
a six-foOter appeared before HIM and
the following colloquy ensued:
snow, you skin right out o. here
young man These is my woods, and
you'll learn to let foIkses property
alone after Pm through with ye! Git,
now ~
Searching on his forehead for an i'm
aginary bead of sweat, Twain glances
obviously at the enraged bucolic, and
said:
"Well, h-what-seems- -to-be--
the matter with you?"
''Matter, LII show ye! Tryin' to-steal
my wood p
"But, my good man, I don't wart
your wood !"
''Then what are you cutting it for ?"
"Why, for exercise, that's all. The
doctor said"
''Oh, that's too thin! Exercise |
You look like a man that would do
anything for exercise. Now with re-
newed energy, you get right out o.
here! Right OUT" and the farmer
made threatening advances.
''But-but-lOok here, my good man,
you don't know who l am. You are
talking to a-''
"Yes, / do know. You're that Gle
mems. I've heard about your being
here about four weeks ago, and I've
had my eye on you ever since Now
(picking up a pine root, you git"
Clemens took up the AXE, cast a with
ering look on the bucolic, and sadly
climbed out of the wood, over the fence.
and out of danger, the voice of the en-
ragged landowner sounding in his ears
for some distance down the road.
Trap-ShootIng and eld-Shooting.
A man may excel in trap-shoOting
and yet never become anything of a
field shot; it is not in him. There are
men whom neither trap work nor field
work can ever make crack field shots.
We have frequently been out shooting
j with f.io,ad sy.LsSa :aIa,aa y,alle